Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-10-06
COUNTING TWENTY-FIVE.
HOW the wife ofa Utica Editor Cur'

How the wife Ofa Utica Editor Curb
ed His Temper.
found the cherished face of Maria Anr
wreaShed in smiles the other evening wheI
returned from my arduous toll. q an
engaged as standing man at q saloon
SO many candidates are treating, that the
saloon keeper hires six of us TO be treated
We all drink with every candidate who
comes in, and it makes business pretty
brisk.)
Said nv chosen one: "Joshua, Pm afraid
you do not always find me an angel in dis
position"
Said /: "That's so-hic-my dear,
don't seldom find you N angel in-in any
thing"
"And," she added. 'you are not always
the most pleasant man in the world"
did not feel called on to reply.
"NOw," said she, ''read that"
She had cut an item from the columns OF
some paper wherein demented writer told
about some impossible woman who, being
troubled with bad temper, counted TWEEN
ty five every time she got provoked, and
thus became q sweet, amiable and dearly
beloved ornament of the house of her de.
lighted husband. read the article as well
as the condition of my head would allow,
and remarked: "Bosh."
Maria Ann paid no attention to me, but
unfolded her plan. She said that every
time | got mad l should count twenty five,
and every time she got mad she wonld
count twenty-five. / asked her who she
thought would pay our rent while we sat and
counted twenty-five over and over all day
long. Then she said / was always raising
objection TO her plans for our mutual i'm
provement, and said was not, and she
said was enough to try the patience OF a
saint, and | said she was too, and she came
for me, and l told her to count twenty-five ;
but she forgot all about that, and just tailed
one ON my left eye.
Then was going 10 demonstrate with
the poker, and she told me to count twen-
ty-fiVe, aud l said would not; but l did
before she had pulled moro than half my
hair out. Then she made me count TWEEN
ty.flye over and over, until | was out OF
breath and felt real pleasant and good ma
tured. So We went to supper. Now, the
cat was cnrled up in my chair, but | did
not see it until l sat down; and did not
see 1t then, but l was pretty sure it was
there; Ia fact knew il was there as well IS
l wanted o,and more, too. 1 felt inclined to
rise upsuddenly, but as l gathered to spring,
she brandished the teapot and murnured i:
"Joshua, your temper is rising; cOunt
twenty-five, Or I'll break your head" and
that cat was drawing a map Of the tenth
ward with her claws around behind me
with the streets and boundaries marked in
my blood. rose 10 explain, and said: SHY
dear-I-" but she caromed on my head
with well shot teacup, and sprinkled my
face with quart ofhot tea, and sat down
and counted twenty five; but IL killed the
cat. The old fellow died hard, though. L
could feel him settle as his nine lives went
out one by ore.
A few days practice of this rule, under
the loving instruction of Maria Ann, has
enabled me TO conquer my temper COM
plstely. Nobody can get me mad now. 1
am in state of perpetual calm, and want
to see the man that wrote that story. I
want to fit him for the hands OF the under
tsker, and make a demand for mourning
goods among his friends. Then 1 can die
happy-counting twenty-five Utica IN.
" Herald.