davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23
A ITindoo priest called in all the

A ITindoo priest called in all the
members of a large family, one of
whom was known to have committed
theft, and thus addressed them
Take each of you one of these sticks,
which are of an equal length, and put
them under your pillows tonight. /
do not at present know the offender,
but you must return the sticks to me
tomorrow morning and the one be-
longing to the thief will have grown
an inch during The night" The fam
ily retired to rest; but before lie went
to sleep, the man who had committed
the theft. thinking to out-wit the priest,
cunningly cut off an inch from his
stick. firmly believing, by this means,
to attain the length Of the others by
next morning. The sticks were re-
turned, and, by comparing them, the
priest was instantly able to pitch upon
the offender, to his great surprise and
disInay.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23

TIE RUTs OF LIFE Get out of
them, says Halls JoHnal Of HeRjh, if
you wish to live long, if you wish to
avoid the lulatic asylum. ii You wisli>
to escape suicide or a nliser's death.
Men and women must have amuse-
mcnt, must have diversion. 1t is
wholesome for the mind to break away
from its daily vocation or employment
every night. Get out Of the r,lts, all
Of you pay neighborly visit three
nights in u week; or for two after
moons let there be a "let np'' in the
way Ofa drive to the Central Park. a
visit to the village y an excursion on
the river, or in tile cars, u pic-nic, a
celebration, but best ofall, in city or
country, horseback ride of an hour
or two, there and back" what an
appetite it gives; after the wearineSs,
what a delicious sleep follows! Get
out OF the rllt, two Or three hours q
week, and there win be no time lo3tin
the long run /; for it gives activity to
the moral nature; it eultirates the al
tections it wakes mp observations; it
exercises comparisons gives breadth
OF view OH all subjects; it makes Il
man more manly it makes woman
more womanly; and in countless cases
1t would save from the mad-housc
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23

Here, boys, have 3 apples sotllere
are two for you 2, and two for me too.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23
Accident has had considerable to d,

ACCIuoHI ihtS IHtu CWiSlueINule W 10
with the most important scientific dis
eoveries. A gentleman in Bingham,
Utah, who is sinking a shaft with the
expectation of finding gold ina can
yon, some time ago nailed a piece of
sheet iron up, to keep the water from
dripping on the men at work. After
it had thus served to keep off the wa
ter for some three weeks, he took it
down and found, to his astonishment,
that 1t was coAered more than an inch
thick with gold, silver and copper,
with a little iron. which had been in
the water in solution, and became pre-
clpitatel by being brought in contact
with the sheet iron. The silver was
over $500 to the ton, and the gold over
$780, besides tho copper.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23

FNvITE TIE ATTENTION OF THE
l public to their full stock of the latest
styles in gentlemcn's and youths boots,
shoes, CATERS, Oxford ties, etc, etc, as well
of ladies' and misses gaitcrs, bAbnorals,
Newport ties. Antoincttc buskins, and
many other new and fashionable styles,
Just received at the City Boot Store, which
they will sell as rapidly as they can find
purchasers who wish tirst-class goods ut
the most reasonable rates. They respect
fully invite you to como and see their
stock. Boots, shoes, etc, made or repaired
10 order, aud al uVTK unbranded.
CITY BOOT STORE, FIRST STREET,
First door West of Register BIIild'g
Ava
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23

DIR. BUSHBY.-king Charles II. pay
ell Il visit to DIR. bnshby the doctor is
said to have strutted through the room
with his hat OH, while his majesty
walked complacently belindhim, with,
his hat under his arm. But when he
was taking leave at the door, the doc
thus addressed the King: Il hope
your majesty will excuse my want OF
respect hitherto; i; but ifmy boys were
to imagine there was greater man in
tllekingtlom than myself, should new
er be able to rule tliem.'
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23

Extinction of fire by smothering il
method which deserves notice. When
a lady's dress catches fire her usual
course is to rush out Of tie room
screaming for help, thereby causing
the flames to spread over her with
great fury. In such cases ''help" is at
hand in the shape Of the table-cloth or
the lleaTth-rug. If she were promptly
to envelope herself in one or the other
or if some one were to do 1t for her
the fire would at once go out for
want of air. Again, II window-cur-
tains catch fire, common tendency
for mankind is to rush out shouting
Fire" and ''llelp!" Reader why
not help yo,lrself-espcclally If you
be a man--by finding out beforehand
what Is the best course Of procedure in
the circumstances? You ought at once
to tear the curtains down, and throw
the rug or table-cloth over them. II
you cannot do this. and must leave tho
room, don't open the window and by
all means remember to shut the door af
teryou: and thus, by cutting of the sup
ply of air, at all events delay the con
fagrltion as long as possible. 1t is {
matter of the greatest importance that
a man should have a definite itlea oi
what he will do. or attempt, in case
of fire. Opinions may differ as to the
best mode Of action, but all ought to
be agreed in having some mode of ac-
tion to carry ont. Nothing Is more
/ pitifnl than to see any one rushing
wildly about shouting "lIelp!" and
wasting energy. For a man to be
seen in such circumstances is contempt
/ ible.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23
The Eyes! The Ears:
DIR. T. l.. GOLDEN,
OculisS and AaIrist, Albany, Oregon.
DIR. r. o. SMITH. DENTIST

HAS LOCATED IN AL AsxA
III bany, and is now ready Eks kss4s0
TO wait on the citizens of Al tlfYYSVSS
banyand vicinity, y,witha n new 11GD
invention in dental work. 1t consists In
supporting the plnte TO The menth without
covering the whole roof, A. heretofore.
Those Wishing artificial teeth arc request
cd TO call and examine for themselves.
Also, plates mended, whether partially
broken or divided. Teeth, extracted with
out pain. Office over Turrell's store. An
work warranted. Iva
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23
Rich without Money.

Many a man is rich without money.
Thousands of meu with nothing in
their pocket, and thousands without
even pocket, are rich. A man born
with good sound constitution, II
good stomach, good heart, and good
limbs, and a pretty good head-piece, is
rich. Good bones are better than gold;
tough muscles than silver; and nerves
that flash fire and carry energy to ev-
cry function are better than houses and
land. 1t is better than u landed es-
tate to have the right kind of father
and mother. Good breeds and bad
breeds, exist among men as really rs
among herds and horses. Education
may do much to check evil tendencies
or to develop good ones; but it is Il
great thing to inherit the right pro-
portion Of faculties to start with. The
man is rich who has a good DISPOSE
tion--who is naturally Kind, patient,
cheerful. hopeful, and who has a fla
vor.of wi; and fun in his composition.
The hardest thing to get along with
in this life, il "a mans own self. A
cross, selfish fellow-a desponding and
complaining fellow-a timid and care
burlened man--tIEse are all born de-
formed OF the inside. Their feet do
not limp, but their thoughts do.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-02-23
Papcr-llanging, Calccmlning,
% Decorating, &c.

~ M. WAnSWORTH will give rrompt
T. attention 10 all orders for Paper-
hanging, Cnlccmining, Decorating, Nc, in
this city or vicinity. All work executed
In the latest style, In the best manner, and
at lowest living rates. Gas Orders left Mt
Furniture Wareroolns of Chas. Mcaley will
receive prompt attention. lOv4.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

SENSIBLE TALK ABOUT ADvERTIs.
ING.-The following is from the finan.
cial article ofthe journal Of Commerce,
New York: People who sit nervously
In counting houses, or behind their
goods, waiting for customers to take
them by storm, and making no effort
to let the world know the bargains
they have to offer, will find the season
very unpropitious. Many Of those
who have spent large sums in hiring
drummers and paying for other wells
known appliances OF trade, have ef.
fected large sales, but swallowed up too
large share of the receipts In such
enormous attendant expenses.
best remuneration has been found by
those who have returned to more
legitimate, old-fashioned methods Of
pushing their business. We say It,,
not simply because we are interested
in this line of expenditure. but as our
best advice to oil who wish to be enter.
prising and to secure larger custom.
There il nothing now so effective to
this end as jndicious advertising. A
little advertising may be like gentle
touch Of the whip to poor Dobbin' 9
horse, a mercy thrown away; but a
liberal outlay is almost certain to bring
. large return, and will last even be-
yond the current season. We do not
believe that any one who has valuable
service or desirable property to offel
can fail Of a rich harvest by continuous
advertising on large scale.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04
FROM OLIVE BRANCH.

Mons Editor This place is 8
miles east and 3 miles south from
Upton. On the 22d ult. it was our
good fortune to visit this place after
an absence ola year. When we at
tanned the top 0! the last hill, we be-
held new school house, erected last
fall at cost Of upwards Of 5000
monument to the energy and enter
prise Of this community, the ladies
showing their ingenuity and benevo-
lence, on the 22d, bv providing q
good supply Of refreshments from the
old fashioned nut-cake (twister) to
the finest silver cake bestudded with
candy. This day was the last of the
winter term of school. We noticed
that a majority of the parents were
present on this occasion to hear the
examination Of their children. When
the parent shows that he takes an
interest in the welfare of his child,
it takes courage and becomes inter
ested itself. This is the compulsory
education we like-thc influence OF
parents. Compulsory! Ii this word
is to be connected with the word ed
ucation, and the couplet sustained by
law, let MS erase it from our vocabu-
larics. Let us have free schools, and
keep them under the supervision of a
County Superintendent, and he to
receive pay for his labors.
The usual amusement in these parts
is hunting the wild goose. II the
fowl is in the center of field, the
moa,ts operonH is this: The hunter
procures few balloon weeds, ties
them together, approaches the flock
from the leeward, shoots, and if sue
cessful carries home his prize. This
method is not patented.
WILD &.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

NEW BOoT d SHOE STORE.-It Ii a
satisfaction to know that the number
Of business houses OF Upton IL not to
diminish by even one. 1t shows th,t
the inducements 10 do business here
ale not decreasing, but on the contra
~, that business prospects are coed.
With pleasure, therefore, we announce
that the gap made in our retail boot
and shoe trade by the withdrawal of
Masterson is to be speedily filed.
Mr.. NJ. NJ. Stewart, for q long time
connected with q Furnishing house
of the same kind at Muscatine, will
very soon open AN exclusively boot
and shoe store at the stand formerly
occupied by Mr.. Masterson. The
building IL to be improved by new
front, and interior refitting, which
will make II a pleasant and commode
Gus salesroom Mr. Stewart proposes
to fill it with q large and complete
stock OF the best goods In his line.
Mr.. Stewards store is not to be =
branch of the Muscatine establish-
ment, but an independent and psrma
merit concern ana he hopes by careful
management and fair dealing to win .
share Of custom to its support a. such.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

A double wedding at the L. 2.
church, on the 26th ult., was the
social event Of the season, Mr.. w. W.
Porter, Of H., to Miss. Mary Larrimcr,
and VIM. NJ. I.arrimcr to Miss Caro-
line Maley.
Our mail trains have been changed
by the Superintendent so that the
western mail arrives in the morning
and the eastern in the evening, instead
of uice uersa as formerly.
A new school house is on the tapis
Our Board Of Directors propose to
build one, and find some opposition
in the district.
James Dayton, Esq, has received
the appointment as Postmaster at this
place, in our opinion in opposition tc
the wish and preference Of very
large majority Of the Republicans
and indeed, Of all, dependent upon
this Office. Some one will have to
answer for such abuse of the misera
bic patronage" which little place
gives to politicians under the present
civil service system.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

BETTER THAN THEY EXPECTED. -
Messrs. Ingman & Young Inform us
that they have contracted freight from
Boston and New York for 40 cents per
hundred less than ever before; and
thar Mr.. Dean, Of their firm, (who has
been in the East for the last three
weeks buying goods for their immense
and rapidly increasing trade, has in
structed them to mark down prices on
goods he bought in Chicago to cores
pond with the lower prices he is pay
in Boston and New York, there being
difference between Chicago and
Boston and New York prices of from
8 TO II per cent. in favor of the latter.
Contrary to general expectation they
will be able to sell goods with very
few exceptions As low this year as
last.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

49, Thus 1t il they come
before us bonest people and cay that
Ne ana sake out two lists to present
To tho 0Oard. We did SO we do not
dee9. The frst was made in the pres
ace Of our worthy P. NJ, who swore
that ve were entitled to that number OF
bona tide subscribers not including ex-
changes. advertisers or dead heads.
But on going to Upton we learned that
the Post intended swearing to every
paper published a. bona dde subscri-
ben % We counted all we were en-
titled to. But we never offered our
paper to parties that were taking an
other cOunty paper, for cteuea months
gratis. II 1t the end of that time they
would take ours in its stead, as did
the Post"
And ALSO from the following with
which the Clarence Independent con
ciudes vigorous and resentful reply
1.-THE fact is, the Post Office Post
must do one of three things, either
read up American politics, or keep
steadily In its old course Of publishing
blssphemous "Lay Sermons sense.
less Trades against foreigners, extracts
containing fulsOme praises Of Grant
or KEEP OUT OF THE WAY OF THE
INDEPENDENT"
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

On the 21st and 22d of last month
we had lectures from L. F. Cum.
mings, of Chicago, on Spiritualism.
We are to have more lectures on the
same subject this month from one
E. V. Wilson, who is good speaker,
and exhibits some wonderful phe-
nomena in his line.
Some excitement was recently Gre
ated by the refusal Of Congrega-
tional minister to allow q Masonic
burial service to be performed in his
church. OF course, there are two
sides.
We have some mud in common
with other places, and are looking
anxiously for the Spring which is the
:" seed time"
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04
FROM CLARENCE.

Our excellent Union School gave
an exhibition at the church last week
Monday evening which was voted a
success. Particulars would be too
lengthy.
Our local paper, the Independent,
has taken new departure, which we
do not much like politically, but as it
is resurrection from death TO life as .
local paper, we do not complain.
Goods are-rushing in for the spring
trade, and business prospects are good.
When you get your railroaid at
Upton we are all going to move down
the left.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

The old lady, who came to town
and went all round, at last went In
where she thought there was camp
meeting. She found IL TO be Perrien
Deans head quarters for Dry Goods
You need not tell that old lady where
to do her trading. Dean has . large
line Of dress goods, shawls. hosiery.
gloves, lace collars and laces, &C., &C.,
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

WE all thought, few days last
week, that Miss Spring had dismissed
that tiresome old winter once for oil,
but the pertinacious old sinner came
back saturday evening, and seemed
upon almost M good footing as ever
even while making it such bad foot
ing. We think Mics Spring ought ia
be ashamed Of herself to trifie with
the old dotard so when everyb body
knows she means to jill him at last
and a. for the old curmudgeon himself.
he has been spooneying around bel
for month when he ought to have
seen how things were going and taken
himself of. even II the proffered Lap
OF the coqusttish maiden did tempt
him to linger.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04
FROM SOFT sAwDERyrLLE.

Dear advertiser IL have long in
tended to drop you line to give you
some dim idea of the transcendent
pleasure we take in your visits, which
though weekly are so longcd for that
they seem ike apgels--far, too far,
between. | have myself heard every
man, woman and child within eighteen
miles Of here say at least ten several
times that ~ first copy Of the
ADVERTISER ever printed was the
best paper they ever saw and that it
has grown incidentally better with
each succeeding issue.
You may deem it quite strange for
me to write you this; yet your paper
is SO fun popular in this direction !
know am justified in (any kind of
soft nonsense that may give YOU
momentary tickle of gratified vanity
saving SO. As ! feebly minated
above, in discussing the relative
merits Of our county pspers, Tor the
periodicals Of the world we do not
hesitate to give the palm Of excellence
to the ADVERTISER:
1st. Because the ROSTERS crow
louder and the hens lay more eggs
since we accidentally left copy in
the barn.
2nd. Because the maternal swine
have more progeny and they accumu.
late adipose quicker ever since the
boys nailed a small scrap of the AD-
vERTIsER against the pen to shoot
bow and arrow at.
Sd. The tameness of interest shown
in everything in the county and
country except spiritualism and i'm
| do not write this to tlatter you or
10 prejudice others. BY no means.
1t is public expression Of honest
convictions that. have been burning
in my bosom until my shirt front has
crumbled into ashes.
Flor.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04
FROM RED OAK.

Friend -Adcertiser am much
obliged to "Red Oak Boys" for his
Websterian definition Of "a. NJ" in
q recent ADVERTISER. But console
myself with the thought that it is
better to be an A. NJ. (even with his
definition Of IT'D than full blooded
descendant Of the steed that Baalam
rode. ! am sorry if there was no
truth in my account Of the belling, but
! should have known that such would
be the ease when most of the partic.
ulars / had Of 1t were from eRed Oak
Boys" himself. A. NJ.
March goth, 1872.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

Do you wish to cut stalks, pillow
land, plant or cultivate corn, hoe OF
dig potatoes, cut, rake or pitch hay,
take care of horses or pail the cows,
ring the pigs noses or cut their
throats, or anything else farmer has
to do, you can find the machinery, i'm
elements or tools at Reichert Bros.
where they are for sale cheap.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

THE deputy local." In speaking OF
the horse shoeing prowess Of NJ. Cot
trell who, by the way, is one of those
miserable foreigners who have been
induced to emigrate and curse Iowa
with their industrious TOLL says !:
- we have friend Michaei's
work in horse. shoeing (even At three
horses day. to be l7,S74,0OO." Now
we know Mike, even though . for
eigner, is q good hand at shoeing hor-
ses, but that he has shod nearly eight
cen million Of them oh, no, we must
be excused from believing that.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

VIZ think spring very b .kward
this year. but Supervisor MONT, one o.
the old ssttlers." tells us Or crossing
the Cedar river on the loo to 70 to elec
ton the first Monday 10 April, 1913,
and that the sleighing was quite good
upon election day o. the same date il,
1852. The latter was 1.-THE hard win
ter"
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

MUsCATINE BEATEN The Journal
writes up Muscatine hen that laid
an egg u by 81 inches in circumfer-
ence and now comes Mr.. VIM Wig
Rins with a specimen Of Upton beas'
work, measuring 8 by Al inches.
That Muscatine pullet will have to try
again.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

APRIL lsr.-Bossert 4 Swinef0rd
buy eggs They are always buying or
selling something. They bought eggs
ON All Fools day. Horace told the
customer what they paid for eggs, and
In answer to q question, said this
didn't make any differences on ac>ou"s
Of size and then took the besAe. anu
counted out three hens skks anu
nice lot Of pigeon's eRss whacn were
neatly packed out ersisht IN the oats.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

MORE SILvER.-Mr. p. w. Johnson
brings US specimens Of an apparent
ore bearing stone or clay, which he
found while digging q well, at . depth
of fourty four feet. The stratum was
six Get thick and the specimens look
as if it might be the Rochester ore be-
fore hardening into atone.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

Roors 4 S5oEs. H. L. Dean ap
nears this week with . new sdver-
,i-emest. found IN the proper column,
by way u calling the attention Of the
public to the fact that the large stock
Of serviceable and fashionable boots
aud shoes always kept on hand, will
this spring be made larger and better
han ever. Call at Deans for low
price and great variety.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

THE assistant deputy local" Of the
Cedar Post says he found Tubais
Cain" at one of our blacksmith shops.
We don't believe it. None of our
smiths use canes and if they did.
what business would they have with
old Tuhai's?
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04
MAR u led.

March 26th, 1872. at the parsonage In Upton,
by Pastor G. T.. Phinney. Mr.. Joseph +. Hall
and Miss Elizabeth Wright, both Of Inland
township, Iowa.
I'm Tuesday, April 2. 1872, near Upton. al
the residence Of the brides rather, by Rev.
J. w. Henderson, Mr.. William I. stewart
and Miss Mary G. Cripliver; both Of Cedar
county, Iowa.
on sunday, March Sist, ass2, at the resi-.
dence OF Mrs eIslcy, IaIiaiiu. IL He- T. y
Bosch, Mr. Cha's A. Mitchell and Miss Anna
II. Wesley.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

WHAT IS THE MATTER?-"Our highly
esteemed contemporary" the Cedar
Post, which should long sincs have
been grey headed with age to make its
experience but half equal TO its sell
conceit, Is fond Of reading savage little
lectures to Its neighbors shout mansg
ing their respective affairs. That they
are fully appreciated we infer from the
following not altogether loving con-
clusion Of some remarks 10 the Me-
chanicsyilIe Press relative to one Of
them upon the circulation question
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-04

"PAPA's DARLING" is the title OF q
choice piece Of home made music.
The words are by Mr.. Jas. Ellis, the
music by Mr.. Lehman, both Des
Moines gentlemen, where 1t is pub
lished by Lehman 4 Corliss, who
kindly send US copy.