The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-07-16
4 Landlord Sold.


stop at his house for the passengers to
dine, by allowing the driver, Lewis, a ftp a
head for each dinner eaten, and the assur-
ance that Lewis grog should not cost him
a cent; but as the tavern was ten miles
from Parker's, where the passengers had
formerly dined, and they did not reach it
till half-past three, the landlord discovered
that, with the per centage to Lewis, and
the keen appetites Of the passengers, who
had tasted nothing from six o'clock, he was
advancing backwards" instead of improv-
ing his purse by the operation.
The two worthless held consultation,
in which it was agreed that Lewis should
be behind his time in arriving and the
landlord late with his dinner, SO that as
soon as they had fairly commenced oper-
ations the horn should be blown and the
passengers hurried off on the plea that the
stage could wait no longer.
This game was played for some time
with success; the hungry passengers grum-
bled; scolded Lew for an hour or so each
day; but he pocketed the fps and laughed
in his sleeve.
1t happened about this time, that as the
grumbling passengers were about leaving
Parker's, the old dining house, a stout,
hearty-looking man, comfortably dressed,
presented himself at the coach door and
took a vacant place on the middle seat
There were three ladies on the back seat,
three men on the front seat, and now, that
an additional passenger had been taken in,
three on the middle seat, making it full
stage load. The new passenger was quite
chatty and sociabe, and we'll acquainted d
with men and things, and full of anecdotes.
He proved quite an agreeable companion.
But even his versatility and good nature
failed to interest his fellow-sufferers long.
Hunger was too keen.
At last Screwler's fifth-rate house was
reached, and after long and tantalizing
delay dinner was announced. The gentle
men with ladies had barely found time to
help them, and then got cleverly going
themselves to the tune of the fork, when
"Too-too-too-oto-o" rang the drivers
horn at the door of the dining-room, fol
lowed by his loud:
"Coach right off, gentlemen Take
your seats, quick ~ rf
Up sprang the passengers and scrambled
off, some swearing and some too much
under the fear of being left behind to think
of any thing else but to get inside the
stage.
But there was one among them who was
so much engaged that he did not seem to
hear or see anything of all this until another
blast rang into the door and the landlord,
Screwler, touched him on the shoulder
with: "The stage is going, SIR"
"But I've not half finished my dinner
yet, " returned the passenger, who proved
to be the one taken in at Parker's, looking
up in surprise and sputtering forth portions
of food from his well-flled mouth as he
spoke.
"Pm sorry for that sir" returned Screw
Ter, blandly. "But I can't help it. The
driver will be off in moment. He is be-
certain hour, Or he will be discharged"
"Too-too-too-too-o- p screamed the
horn, louder than usual, followed by
"All-on-board !" from the driver, who
instantly disappeared.
"He's getting ON his box now, sir, and
will start in moment" urged the land
lord.
"And I've paid for my dinner! Too
bad, too bad Well, hand me back my
money; never pay for what do not re-
ceive.''
81 can't do that, sir. Sorry for you, but
the fault is not mine. My dinner has all
been prepared, and you're welcome to eat
it,"
AS matters rae thus pressing, the pas
senger did not stop long to parley. Draw
ing from his pocket q clean white handker-
chief neatly folded as it had left the ironing
table, he hastily spread it open on the table,
and turning into it a fresh dish of boiled
eggs, then two or three plates of bread
with sundry little nicknackeries, he tied it
up quickly muttering to himself all the time
in an under tone. Then seizing turkey
in one hand, two roasted chickens and his
well-flled handkerchief in the other, he
bowed to the landlord and said
{" Good-day, sir I'll finish my dinner on
the road ~
Screwler was too much surprised and
confounded to interfere.
Thus equipped, the passenger made his