Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-03-28

ChOi OWOj thIOS, hOh you 70 !!
OFF 1T was necessary to 90, for he
caught away my defenses, but extended
the folding arms of the screen, SO as
nearly to touch the vacant seat. In
that instant, hoO l hardly knew, l found
myself fairly seated at the board, the
friend who would have accompanied me
at my side.
"You take it coolly, old fellow" re.
marked the latter. '' fancied that at
these dinners punctuality-"
g! take it coolly, very coolly," re,
piled. "And it is for your sake I am
doing so. May 1 ask you to spare me
as much adjacent table-cloth as is com
patible with your personal conve-
niepce?"
-" fable-cloth! Assuredly. But why?''
"There are reasons, hidden reasons.
But of that hereafter. A glass of
wine |"
''My friend is agitated. His manly
fingers quiver. Something is amiss with
Charteris,' remarked nay companion, in
the sepulchral tone he is given to use
when chatting those he loves.
Dicky Shelton, who never, so far as it
is ascertained, had a relative in the
world, dressed always in the deepest
mourning. He never laughs, outwardly.
He is mirth itself, within. He has
written burlesques by the score. To
SHELTON is due the evisceration of words
that have baff1ed the skill of the most
accomplished tormentors of the English
| language.
My friend, confde in me-" continued
Dick, smacking his lips, for the Lumpe-
ter Burgundy is not to be tasted every
| day. You are i'll at ease"
"At the knees. A trifle."
To remember ones troubles in such
a scene is weak"
To forget ones trousers is Madness
1 whispered, with clenched teeth, in his
| ear.
cones -p calculated Shelton,
family, as he turned upon me counte-
nance naturally wan and lengthy, but
now whitened and elongated with real
alarm. You-don't mean. Dol
distinctly understands"
You understand my reasons for re-
quiring as large portion cf the table
cloth as you can conveniently spare"
"Now this is very noteworthy, yes, it
IS really curious" remarked Mr.. Skel-
ton, with more interest than sympathy.
Il do not remember having met with a
precisely similar situation. man
may, indeed, forget an essential gar
ment. The mind cannot always be
dwelling on these outward things. But
has he no friend? Wife, servant, grand
mother? Is there no hand to bar his
exit, no tongue to say, my dear, my
very dear sir, return, reflect. Consult,
If not prevailing fashions, at least that
warmth and comfort as needful to man
as his daily food p Did none do this ?'
L shook my head, and briefly re-
counted the cause and manner of my
misfortune.
My friend gazed at me sorrowfully:
- So fair above ~ he II -
well, SO singular below Who now,
IN this brilliant acknowledgement, as 1
perceive, with the presence of many
beautiful land giggling) women-would
imagine that you, sitting here SO well
got up, radiant with artificial mirth, are
a type of Milton's SIM"
L replied, curtly, that accepted the
situation, as he was pleased to term it, |
with the calmness that seemed expe- |
dent, and that having done all that |
man could do, awaited the DEGREES of
fate, and the arrival of the waiter, to |
whom l had offered sovereign to |
smuggle my overalls, at the first oppor-
tune moment.
lawfully lucky for you, my boy, |
there's to be no speech-making /" con.
tinued Shelton. ave would have had |
you on your defenseless legs in no |
time"
Have you seen the toast list, gentle
men F' asked portly member of the |
guild, on my left, as he politely offered
card. :.
There was catalogue of at least
twenty toasts, with names appended as
proposers; and, as proposing that of the
guest of the evening, the Baron de
Bete-Fauye, "Mr. Reginald Charters r'
At the same moment a note was
placed in my hand. 1t was from the
chairman.
"Oblige US. We know your ready
eloquence. Baron struck with your face
and manner. Wishes to hear YOU
speak. Touch up the Aons.'
Snatching out my pencil-case l wrote
- Throat 1mpfacticable. Uvula cut off
this morning. Should create more as
tonlshment than interest if forced upon
my legs"
breathed. That peril was averted.
My spirits rose as the merry feast pro-
ceeded, and / began to see more dis
tinctly the humorous side of my little
warm and pleasant. Why, 1 had been
present at many dinner in the north
where men dined, from preference,
without their-that is. in kits. True,
had not exactly kilt; but, even were
compelled to stand forth from nv
present retirement, the exhibition of
knee, the publication of calf, would be
no greater than is legally sanctioned
within five hundred miles of this spot.
Hal a sensation. "Pray silence,i' &c.
Grace. "Non nobis." Then the usual
loyal toasts, and we drank prosperity to
several collateral branches of the reign
ing house (the Lumpeters were nothing
if not loyal), before we arrived at the
great toast of the evening-the Baron
de Bete-Fauve. This was given by the
chairman himself; and, with the baron's
reply, lin French, and counter PROPOSE
ton OF the health of the ladies, was re-
ceived with the greatest enthusiasm.
The excitement was just settling
Halo - exclaimed Shelton, "what's
up now? Is any one expected, 1 won
der? They are putting big chair next
to Bette -Fauve. 1t must be swell.
Can the Prince Off,
81 beg your pardon, Mr. Charteris,''
said the voice of the head-steward, who,
followed by two attendant walters, had
approached us unobserved. "The chair,
sir, presents his compliments, and begs
you will do him and the Baron de Bette.
Fauve the favor to occupy the seat that
has been placed for you between them.''