Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1872-02-15
ODDS AND ENDS.

da.
If one girl is lass, are not two girls
'lasses.
The artists adieu to his picture you
be hanged.
Unnegotiable bills-Drafts OH the
Imagination.
Montgomery Co. has eolored woman
113 years old.
A wonderful arial phenomenon-A
flight of stairs.
Romantic Death-A young lady
drowned in tears.
Whatever good an umbrella performs,
it is put up to it. e
Experience is the father and memory
the mother of Wisdom.
Why is blind man like water-pipe
He is generally led dead.
Can man curb well his emotions by
sitting on the curb of awell?
Is a mantaumaker amenable to law
for hooking on ladies' dresses?
Does cow become landed property
when she is turned into field?
What is the military definition of a
kiss? Report at Headquarters.
Wanted-A tailor that can cook his
own goose, and make it eatable.
What part of the rifle is like an as
sault? The breech of the piece.
Young people grow most in love. 1t
increases their sighs wonderfully.
The three great conquerors of the
world are fashion, love and death.
When does man impose upon him.
self? When he taxes his memory.
The girl that visited a powder mill,
has been pretty well powdered even
since.
Why are the letters 'oz' like an adver-
tisment? Becaue they are for announce
ment.
How many apples did our first parents
eat in the Garden of Eden? Eve and
Adam 2.
Pennmakers are bad lot. They make
the people steel pens, and then they say
they do write.
Blogss had his nose pulled, and was
asked by friend to resent it. He said
he would next tweak.
President Grant, in his annual mes
sage, says, agriculture is the ground
work of our prosperity.
A Maine woman has swallowed two
hundred and seventy bottles of cherry
pectoral and still lives.
Who is the straightest man mention
ed in the Bible? Joseph, because Pha-
raoh made ruler of him.
A Hudson Milkman was overheard
singing to his fellow craftsmen, yes,
we'll gather at the river
Why is Ireland likely to become the
richest country in the world? Because
the capital is always Dublin.
Lac Bloggs the other day when ap-
piled to for a loan of ten dollars: G've
only five lending tens, and they'er all
out.
1t is believed that the first one who
supplied the navy with salt provisions
was Noah when he took Ham into the
Ark.
A person looking at some skeletons,
the Otherday, asked young doctor
present where he got them. 'Weraised
them.'
1t has been estimated that the freight
transported by the railways of the last
year amounted in value to over 81, ,00O,-
100000.
Josh Billings says: Next tew the
man who IL wuth a millyun, in point
NV wealth, liz the man who dor't care a
cuss for it.
The man that saw ghost while pass
ing through a graveyard, one night,
went back the next morning and found
it was his shadow.
1t is complained of the eminent Dr.
Brown that he toasted Miss Smith
through the entire season at Saratoga
without making her Brown.
A Western poet sings: @The melan-
choly days have come, the saddest OF
the year, when it's too rough for whisky
slings, too cold for lager beer
A man describing church in Min
nesota writes to q friend; No velvet
cushions in our pews; we don't go in
for style. The fattest person has the
person has the softest seat
A country paper says: Amateur
sportsmen starting out on a hunt, will
oblige us by leaving their name and age
at this office The editor, we suppose,
likes tohave time to prepare obituaries
A woman applied to a lady for the
position of mistress of, her kitchen
Being asked her name, she replied
Nasticook. An engagement was moi
made.
VIM. Tweed has been sent to prison
at Buffalo, for stealing ride on rail-
road. If it had been the original Tweed
he would have stolen the railroad, and
gone the prison like buffalo bull
through cobweb.
If a playmate asks you to commit sin
don't do it. If you are tempted by any
desire in your own mind to do what
you know to be wrong, and think OF
telling a lie to hide, don't do it, it will be
adding sin to sin.
Mrs. Swisshelm says that the New
Chicago can grow to honorable maturi-
ty without its wooden embroidery, just
as surely as Horace Greeley grew up to
manhood without fancy needle work on
his long clothes.
A cynical individual, on reading a
pathetic story in one of the papers late
ly, noted in his memorandum book as
follows:
Somebody whistled. Teacher calls
up big boy OH suspicion. Big boy
comes up and holds out his hand sui
len and savage. Noble little boy comes
manfully forward and says: SIN the
boy that whistled, SIR at the same