The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-02-19
THE PRESS.
MONDAY MORNING. FEB. 10, 1872.
The Member from Alligatorville.

Mr.. ]. w. DeForest, whose experience as
an army officer has given him an insight into
southern life as it is, has a most amusing
sketch in the Galaxy for March of the char
acterlstlcs OF new class of legislators who
have been introduced to public life by the
Fifteenth Amendment. The appearance Of
"the colored member at public supper Civ
en- by the Governor is thus described:
Pompey had never before drunk cham
pagne, but his lifelong studies in whiskev en-
abled him to master the secret at the first
jump, and he irretrievably damaged a quart
bottle of Mumm's Imperial. The result was
that he soon became such cheerful man and
brother that if all the other inhabitants of
this footstool had been in the same condition
it would have been the jolliest footstool un-
der the canopy. He had some such exhilar-
ating sensations as If every curl in his wool
were a jewsharp, and all these jewsharps
were combined in an orchestra which PLAYED
simultaneously every jig in creation. Things
went on in his brain in cross-over-and-
down-the-middle style, as if it were the dance
room of sailor clearinghouse, and the crew
OF frigate had just been paid off in the
neighborhood. His tongue was loosed, like
that of Balaam's ass, and he talked as glibly
as that quadruped, though less wisely. He
whistled, and showed off step or two of his
favorite breakdown, and slapped perfectly un-
known lawgivers on the shoulder. and laugh
ed like seven thunders uttering their voices.
AT last his two million or so of jewsharps
revealed to him message to the effect that
ne ought to walk with white lady, The
Speakers wife was that evening flirting mis-
celaneously with the colored members. for
the sake Of securing her husbands reelection
to his honorable and lucrative position. So
for half minute Pompey Howard promenad-
ed among the stars with the white kid glove
OF a goddess of fashion just touching the
sleeve of his slop-shop coat.
Have you been presented to the Cover
norT' asked the Speakers wife, who had
sorrowfully acquired knack of getting rid of
people, and who was determined to get rid of
the member from Alligatorville, if she had to
push him out of a window.
NO, Whar is he" answered Pompey,
falling into the trap, though he wanted to
walk more with the white lady.
so the Speakers wife introduced him to the
Governor, who shook hands with him and
beamed on him as if he loved him, and then
as quick as lightning introduced him to par
ticular friend of his, whose business it was to
tote OIL colored members and dump them at a
distance, as If they were so many loads of gar
bage.
Just as Pompey found himself dumped, the
doors of the supper-room were thrown open.
Immediately there was such rush as there
used to be into the dining halls of American
hotels, in the good old times when the gen.
tlemanly proprietor always set half dozen
chairs less than were necessary to seat his
guests. The white members and the colored
all ran and rampaged together, as if it were
understood that the devil had claim on the
hindmost. 1t was like dam breaking away,
and carrying with it an ice flood. The sup
per-room was packed before the first man
could swallow picked oyster, and the crush,
particularly around the tables, was enough to
make dough of rhinoceros. Every law-giv-
er took his brother by the collar, and thrust
his elbow under his fifth rib, and did for him.
Then came such laying on of hands and
such devouring, as if all the hungry giants
of nursery rhyme had been let loose on His
Excellency's feed. Honorable gentlemen
ladled up jellies and raked in cakes and oran-
ges, as if they were spading rice-swamp mud
or hoeing sweet potatoes. Ice-cream went
like the snowflake ON the river, moment
white, then gone forever. Saucers of float
ing-island struggled to and fro in the air, their
contents stopping over heads and coat-collars
and coat-tais and into sleeves, as the sacred
oil ran down Aaron's beard and vestments.
One white dignitary had just filled plate
with luxuries for his wife when dusky hand
of destiny descended upon it like ahawk upon
a June-bug, and removed it from his wonder
ing sight. 1t was considered good joke by
some legislators (no doubt as being symbol
cal of the way things went in politics) to alb
stract the bananas from dishes which other
legislators were bearing away. The states
man who had made levy on the cigar-box
was justly punished for his malversation by
losing whole basketful of sugar-plums, over
which his mouth was already watering
Into this melee Pompey Howard plunged
with the commingled joy of astrong man who
knows his strength, and of hungry man
who sees his supper. More than one Cau-
casian corn had reason to rue the hour when
it made acquaintance with the weighty and
widespread hoof of the member from Alliga-
torville. 1t was an unexpected opportunity,
but one perfectly adapted to his powers Of
avenging the. wrongs and scorns of centuries.
In general way colored muscle was trium-
phant in the combat, easily bringing Indo-
European muscle to grief, and thereby nour-
ishing itself with great iberality, though at
an expense of much china. Pompey, for in
stance, smashed two plates and goblet in
the process of devouring a peck of goodies
and drinking half bottle ofchampagne.