The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-09-20
QoIititaI @atttrs,
From the Caucasian.
IF HORACE GREELEY IS DEFEATED
WHAT HEMP

GfOIy quplAHVu5 ulSCASoG COuu-
mander will, before advancing into
the enemy's country, first supply
himself with reliable maps and
charts, and he will be sure to weigh
well the consequences of possible
defeat, no matter how improbable
such an event may be regarded by
him; rendering a retreat by his for
ces safe and unimpeded by either
natural or artificial distractions. In
other words, wise leader will be at
all time fully prepared for good or
| i'll fortune. In this sense, we take
into consideration that barely pos
sible emergency, the defeat of Hon
est Old Horace and the supposed
reelection of that Tyrant, Boor and
Scoundrel, the present occupant of
the executive dog-kennel at Wash
Iington.
We have heretofore, In mild and
considerate manner, under the head
of the 'Derringer Resort" alluded
to matter which, in the possibili-
| ties and uncertainties of human ex.
Iistence, and more especially as de-
veloped in political calculatlons,ma
vet come home to every determined
patriot in America. And it Is well
enough, in this calm hour, while cur
Iresolute hosts, led by the flower of
the Democratic and Liberal generals
are making their steady tramp,
tramp, "the boys are marching"
from one state to and through an
other, to calculate even the possibil-
lity of a reverse, remote as such a
catastrophe may be very properly
deemed.
What, then, shall be the chief pur-
pose of the determined brotherhood,
should Horace Greeley be defeated ?
Notwithstanding the ground taken
| by the Caucasian in that famous
"Derringer Resort article, we do
earnestly and conscientiously protest
against the vulgarity, if not the bar
barity, of the old system of produc-
ing hasty, but necessary demises. Is
man bullock that he should have a
rude knife inserted into his brisket,
and his warm life blood be thus
shockingly spilled upon the thirsty
ground to cry out against his execu-
toner, in the scriptural formula,
l"Cain, where is thy brotherp and
thus tempt the owner of the ensan-
guined blade, to falsify and evasively
interrogate the butchered mans
ghost, with an-"Am I my brothers S
Keeper" Nay, nay, this is barbaric.
1t would do for a nation of Kaffirs
or Observation-Disclosures but it is
plainly not the clean thing in this
age of civilization and science. Is
man Berkshire boar, that a keen
edged hammer should be violently
crashed into his skull and his think
| ing material be spattered in bloody
masses on the floor and upon the
walls? Nay, we protest. In the name
of science and the fine arts, we do
most sincerely offer rebuke to this
lingering barbarism which has des
lcended from the MaydoWer passen-
gers. Is man rabid canine that IL
bullet should be hurled into his
brain; or a Thomas-cat that boot
lacks should be Whirled fatally at
Ibis devoted head, at the noctural
serenading hour? Again we offer a
decided protest.
What, then, shall we, as sane, civ
Iilized, kindly y-disposed but determin-
ed patriots, do in such an emergency
as that to which we have guardedly
Ialluded?
Listen. The laboratory offers the
way, and its gentle distillation the
means. By the giant strides which
science has made in late years, the
horrid, brutal, shocking scenes Of
1.-THE ensanguined past are forever
supplanted by such gentle sleep-in.
Ispiring fluids and potions, as would
have made the sweet spirit of Lucre'
tia Borgia leap with joy. From the
bag pipy glass tubes Of the chemist
lretort. few clear drops Of water are
suddenly armed with the gentle ter.
rors Of a whole park of 64-pouno
artillery. They are sweet-tasted ano
noiseless. They lull the burdeneo
spirit into the sweetest slumber
| Put it IN his aUhisky. All, how much
we are indebted to science. No fuss
about it. No crimson stains. Nc
need to fly your native land. Nc
necessity to make protraeted alb
sences, as in the case of famous
tragedian. No danger of being sub
iected to the loss of few inches O.
Valuable spinal column.
But here again, like the poor wo
man who had full of speckleC
calico to choose one pattern from, W.
are nearly confounded with the vari
ety. We are pressed to name oul
favorite, but we dislike to diserimin
ate where so many are deserving 0
commendation. Strychnine, which
as its name implies, struck down tn
first human nine-pins that were Sc
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