The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-09-24
II U M 0 r 0 y S

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e#-As the cars stopped at a small town
in Minnesota, an honest looking German
and family came on board the train. The
"family'' consisted of numerous bundles, a
wife, and quantity iofchidren of assorted
Sizes fromithe babe in arm upto boy of
twelve. The German, after slowing his
bundles in the forward seats of the smolgs
ing-car, proceeded to place his wife and
offspring near them. This accomplished
he seated himself for smoke All at
once, as the signal whistled for starting,
he dashed out of the car into the station,
returning with another child in his arms
that had been asleep, barely catching the
train before it moved. AS he passed, one
of the passengers said, laughingly: a1"r
''You came near forgetting that one.'
l" No,'' replied Hans, "I don't forget
him; bat den I count dem, and miss one p'
eB BY squall in Delaware Bay lately
while sailing in yacht, two young men
were overtaken. At Nazareth Methodist
Church, on Twelfth Street, Philadelphia,
at public worship they had occasionally
been present From the way things look
ed, the capsizing Of their shallop was very
near inevitable.
a"Bill," said one to the other "this is a
serious business can you prayP" ,a IA
"No, can't, I've heard Joe Quinn do it
and I've listened to Bill Post, but / can't.
DO it myself" ''''' ~ r+.n
'"Well, you can sing hymn, can't you?
For Gods sake do something"
"No, can't sing here. How can sing
when this boat at any moment may drown
us both?" r,a..t tiih' '''iN''"t
swell, we must do something religious.
If you can't pray and can't sing let's take
up collection" roo ,uoEO Ot0tt
To this Bill consented. In his compan-
ions hat he deposited thirteen pennies, a
cockscrew, and broken-bladed knife. AS
be did this, the wind lulled, and the shall
! lop made successful landing. t y1t
gs- A Campbellite elder was once riding
with Presbyterian, when they overlook a
| boy with string of fish, such as thcy did
notknow the name Of The Campbellite
was curious, and consequently asked the
boy what they were.
"We call 'em Campbellites," said the
boy. f,ani '""u'"
"That is queer name for fish, why do
you call them that,' asked the Elder. '''-'
"Because," "replied the boy, "they spoil
SO soon after coming out of the water. ."in
1t is safe to say that the Presbyterian en-
joyed the answer better than the Elder
eB-A German thus bewails the loss of
favorite horse: "Von night de oder day,
when was been awake in my sleep, hear
4 something vat thinks not yust right in my
barn, and yust out shumps to bed and
! run mid de barn out, and ven vas dare
COON I sez that my pig gray iron mare, he
vas be tied loose and run NIT de stable off
and ever who will him back bring, ] yust 50
much pay him as vat been customary"
GB-A Bangor, Me-, prohibitionist was
recently. discussing the liquor law, and
strongly urged its strict enforcement. To
emphasize his..remarks he gesticulated with
his umbrella whereupon black bottle fell
to the pavement with crash, and the odora
of sold Bourbon" was diffused around.
! That closed the argument. q .iI1 ~. Is.
GB- A little boy of Provincetown, Mass,
four years old, very anxious for a drum, the
evening preceding Christmas Eve, on going
to bed, made the following prayer: "Now
lay me down to sleep qcant drum, Il
pray the Lord Iwdnt dram, my soul to
keep, if IIshould die before wake, T@ant
a drum" His prayer was answered.
eB- Belfast has dog which goes for the
doctorIwhen anybody is sick, without be-
ing asked. :ss e g We, knew little cur"
"that will not only 'go for the doctor but
anybody else that passes, and when no one
is, sick either"
E5-An old lady in Philadelphia had an
unaccountable aversion to rye, and never
could eat it in any form, Still of late, y she
said, /" they got to making it into whiskey,
and I find can, now and then worry down
little"
GEE" Mr.. Brown, want to buy shil-
ing's worth of hay"
2" VerylEwell, you can have it. Is it for
your father ?'' 'H-
a'qNo, faint. It's for the hosses Dad
don't eat hay"
il GE-"Why issit," asked Frenchman of
switzer, q that you Swiss always fight
for money while the French only fightfor