Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1872-09-17

your SIutemeuGS.
1;5f Are You moderate drinke- % asked the
paghase ygu atIoas,
& .yeIs were aeycs e
s NeverV q .E
Wei, replied the J I'D zses scanning his
subject from head to foot, is a Sin gitlar
case, but tEiihk is easy Dec 9inteds for
am refnin led ]Sy 1t Oh az little story, "A
colored man Nj til of bread and a bottle
of 3Whisk sat dow to dine on thesbank of
clear stream In Breakins the bread he
dropped some of the crumbs ,iato the water.
! These were eagerly seized by the fish, That
circamstance suggested to the darky the idea
) of dipping the bread into the whisky. and
feeding it to them he tried it.. It worked
well. Some of the fishes ate of, it,. became
drunk, and hoated helplessly on tho surface.
lu this way he easily. caught large number
But in the stream was q large fish, and very
unlike the rest. It partook freely of the
bread and whisky, with no percoptiblo effect.
1t was shy of every effort of the darkey to
take it. He resolved to have it at all hazards,
that he might learn its name and nature Ho
procured net and after much effort he caught
It and carrying it to.a colored neighbor asked
his, opinion of the matter. The other sur
sveyed the wonder for moment and then said:
s..Sambo, | understands dis case. Dis fish is
:, . mullet head and it haiut got any brains"
SIN other words" added the Judge, "alcohol
effects only the brains, and, of course, those
having none may drink without injury
The storm of laughter which followed drove
the moderate drinkcr from the house.
The OLDEST INuABITANT.-Several years
ago there was such a tremendous freshct on
the Illinois River that it was for O long time
referred to as the ''lood."
During lawsuit in Peoria, an old man
named Adam, living in ] little hamlet on the
river known as Paradise, was examined as
witness.
"What is your name 2" was the FIRST qucs-
tion asked him.
"Adam, SIR" said he.
"Your name is Adam, is il? Well where
do you live ?"
SIN Paradise, sir"
"Ob, your namo is Adam, and you live in
Paradise, do you 2"
"Well, how long have you lived there ?''
"Ever since tho flood, sir" replied tho SIM
Plo old man, whose words wero drowned in a
roar of laughter, in which the court, Jury,
counsel and spectators all heartily joined.
ANEcDoTE OF THE RoAD.-A LAWYER rid
ing through a town, stopped at cottage to
inquire the way. Tho lady of tho house told
him he must keep right straight on for some
time, and then turn to the right, but said
that she herself was going to pass the road ho
must take, and that if he would wait few
minutes she would show him tho way.
"Well," said he, "bad company is better
that none-rnake haste"
After jogging on FIVE or six miles, tho gen.
tleman asked if he had not yet como to the
road he must take.
ooh yes" said she, ''wo passed. it two or
three miles back, but thought, as bad COM
pany was better than none, would keep YOU
along with me-"
In a Western city ca5inct>maker en-
ployed two Germans as portcrs to deliver his
furniture. One morning he loaded his car
with bureau, and gavo directions whero to
have it left
"And by and by" said he to oro of thom
handing him shilling, on your way back get
pint of peas"
They stayed an unusual time, aud when
they did return, it was soon ascertained that
they had enormous "levicks" in their hats
"Why, you internal rascals " ro8rod the
angry boss, "you are both drunk
"Yaw," said one of them, "you gift us ter
shilling to buy a pint-n-piccc wo drinkt him
and we are poto SO drunk Us ter tenyful"'
"A Printers Devil, who aspircd 10 be q
local editor, expressed his wishes in Poetry
in this wise:
fl was lokle cditer,
Wouldn't have time?
wouldn't print cussed word
For lessun S line
I'd getm grub and SO forth free,
& tickets to the shows,
1 wouldn't pay for buggy hier,
& wouldn't I waro good close
A farmer whose cribs were full of coru