The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-12-16

MONDAY MORNING, DEC. 1e. 1872.
Gossip and Glemings.

Society is one polished horde,
Formed OF two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored.
Byron.
A young man has ju been acquitted in
Roanoke county, Va, on trial for killing
| his ''illegtimate father''
Now, Johnny" says grandma, Il want
you to sit just as still as Il mouse" Mouses
don't sit still, grandma" Sure enough!
The newsboys of Philadelphia told the
guardians of their Home" either to ''set up
nobbier grub or close the caboose" The ca
boose is closed.
Mrs. CT really must give cook warning,
Charles. She does use such very bad words.''
Mr.. G.-Really. dear! What sort of words
are they?"
Mrs. G.-"O-well-the same as you use."
They call the opening of dead letters in the
General Post Office Post-mortem examina-
tions, and the officer at the head Of that de-
partment is known as the coroner
A heartless contempory declares that mas
much as Boston has refused all outside aids
spread Of the smallpox there teaches us bet
ter. Commercial Advertiser.
Looking at specimens of hand writing dis
played in showcases by certain professors. of
chirography their ornature led wit at one of
the clubs to remark that the business is evil
IDENTIFY fourishing one.
A tozl To- lza.
der these circumstances: He saw girls
corpse in the Morgue, fell in love with the
girl and killed himself to join her in the
grave.
All Dresden goes to bed at ten o'clock.
The opera, the theatre, and others places of
| amusement open at six and close at half-past
nine. Every public house or restaurant is
closed at ten, after which perfect quiet reign,
until daylight.
The editor of the Fonda Democrat has
achieved triumph Of mixed metaphor.
He says: Snow that we are cleaned out and
| got down to rock bottom, let the blackboard
be sponged clean and commence new ac-
count
| In the French army where revaccination is
not practiced. 23,469 deaths from smallpox
occurred during the late campaign; in the
German army, where reyaccination is com
pulsory, but 263 deaths happened from this
disease during the same period.
The Atheneum gives tho following lines by Tom
Moore, as now published for the first time:
when life looks lone and dreary,
| What light can dispel the gloom?
When times swift wing is weary,
| What charm can refresh mis- plume?
Ills woman, whose sweetness beameth
On all that we feel or see
| And if man of Heaven e'er dreameth.
Tis when he thinks purely Of thee,
Oh! w0manl"
This is certificate of good moral character,
which Troy legal gentleman signed without
looking at, for student who was about to
present credentials for admission to the bar
Il hereby certify that the bearer, -,
was student in my Office for 10 months
that during the whole of that time his charac-
ter of piety, chastity and honesty was above
reproach, and his example was such that
from my daily contact with him, have now
become pious and consistent member of the
church, and useful member of society,"
The inhabitants of country town in Eng
land were lately filled with conjecture at the
following sign, painted in large capitals on
the front of house recently fitted up end re-
paired: 'Mrs. Brown, dealer in all sorts Of
ladies'" All was CONSERVATION. Inquiry
was instantly set on foot as to who this Mrs.
Brown might be, but no one could tell. She
was q stranger in the town. The second
week after, the mystery was unravelled. The
house painter returned to finish his work,
and concluded by adding, ''and gentlemen
wearing apparel"