Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1872-05-24
Irish Humor,


one who sees them on their native soil can
doubt. They are the only peasantry in
Europe who can lay any claim to qualities
that are usually reckoned Intellectual. 1t
is common saw over there that an Irish
man has the privilege of speaking twice
and can see the justice Of it. He first
makes blunder as if by design. and then
renders the blunder bright BY illuminat-
ing it with joke.
/ I remember colloquy like this 10 Sack
vile street, between an English tourist
and car driver:
II say, Pat. what are those figures up
there p
can shure, yer honor, thim's the twilve
apostles"
Twelve apostles, indeed? Why. there
are only four"
"Och, now. ye wouldn't have them all
out at once, would ye? That's the posth-
Office, and the rist is inside, yer honor,
sortin' letthers."
Driving through county Wicklow. and
commenting on what seemed to be irregu-
larity of the milestones, my carman re-
marked:
"Be gorrah, an they're not milestones
at all. This is graveyard Of the Miles
family an there was so many of thin, ye
see. they hadn't names for thin all. an,
so they numbered thin, an buried thin
wherever they could find good spot. -
And his eye twinklingly inquired if the
conceit were not good enough for drink
of whisky at the first hating place.
Giving a bar-maid q crown at Limerick
for mug of ale, the price of which was
but three pence, she smiled all over her
face. and said:
can may yer worship niver walnut for
a pound until give ye change-and |
wish sick luck that know ye wouldn't be
afther askin' for penny of it."
Annoyed by strapping girl, who in
sisted acting as guide at the Gap Of Dun
loe, gave her shilling on condition that
she would follow me no further. Before
I had gone another mile she reappeared,
when I reminded her Of her promise.
| will" she replied. .'I losht the shil-
lin that ye was SO goohd as to give poor
CURL the likes O me-and | thought I'd
come back to see if ye hadn't just found
it,"
Of course banded her another, with
the words, "You know, Norah, you are
not telling the truth, but this time you
must keep your word"
AN will ye make poor gurl, who's
losht her heart to ye. confess in yer virry
face that she's run two miles over desc
rough rocks to git anuther look at yer
han SOM eyes?"
A porter at a Galway hotel had with
much trouble prevented an Americans
trunk from going to Belfast instead Of
Queenstown. and the owner rewarded him
with sovereign. The shrewd fellow held
the coin rapturously in his hand mo-
ment. and then said to the gentleman:
Haven't ye bit of shilver about ye?
Ye wouldn't have me shpendin' the likes
O. this bayutiful gould to drink yer health
wild? Give me shillin', yer honor, and
I'll kape this to remember ye BY"
In the valley of Glendalough. native
peering out from one of the ruins of the
tiny Seven Churches, accosted guide
with:
"Dinnis, did ye come here thiukin' they
were sayin' mass this moruin' 2"
Il might have behaved SO, ye spalpeen,
if I hadn't sane the divil iookin' out of the
windy"
"What makes your horse SO slow?" I
asked one day in the Glen Of the downs of
my Celtic Jehu.
''It is out of rispict to the bayutiful
sanery. yer honor-he wants ye to see it
all. An thin, he's an intelligent baste.
and appreciates good company. an wants
to kape the like o ye in beloved ould Ire
land as long as he kim"