The Van Buren press., 1872-05-21

LITTLE BROTHER. The moral to the
following. told by the sufferer, is toe
apparent to mention Young ladies will
hereafter run their brothers out when
gentlemen call I'm certain that | wish
somebody would spank the young ras.
cal. We talked Of mountains, hills,
xAlss and cataracts--I believe waterfalls,
when tho boy spoke up and said "why
sisters got trunk full OF them up stairs
pa says they are made Of boss hair. "
This revelation struck terror into me,
and hlushss into tho checks Of my fair
companion. t..r. -
1t began TO be very apparent to me
thatl must be very guarded in what
said; lest the boy might slip in bis re,
marks at uncalled for places; in fact,
turned my conversation to him. and told
him he ought to go homo with me and
see what nice chickens wo had in the
country. Unluckily mentioned yoke
Of calves my brother owned The little
one looked up and said Sisters got n
dozen PAIR OF them, but she don't wear
them only when she goes up town OF
windy days Leave the room, you
uimannerly wretch :" exclaimed Emily
leave Immediately"
81 know what you want me to leave
the room for, replied he; "you can't
fool me, you want to sit on that man $
lap and kiss him like you did Bill Sim
mons the other day; you can't fool me,
Ijis tell you Gin me some candy like
he did andIll 60. You think because
you've got the Grecisn bend that you're
smart. Guess ! know thing or two
Tn mad at you anyhow, because papa
would have bought me a top yesterday,
Nit hadn't been tor getting them curls,
dog on YER You needn't turn so red
in the face cause can see the paint
There amt no use in winking with that
glass eye ofyourn, for amt goin' out
OF here, now that's whats the matter
with the purps, don't care if you are
twenty eigh. years old, you Amino boss
efmine.
ha"CAEL Me- GEORGE. "--Apropos Of
the personal gossip floating through the
press concerning the equestrian habits OF
Hon George Bancroft, our minister TO
Germany, it 10 said that, Notwithstanding
his vensrably years, next to his fondness
FOR horse flesh is his pcnchant for hahn
less flirtations. A good story is told Of
his weakness on this subject. He WAS
promenading one evening on the veran
dshof the Ocean house, at Newport, with
gay New York belle, not yet out of her
teens. In course Of conversation she ad
dressed her companion as Mr. Ban.
croh. u" ftsE-s E.-.-4-1
"Now really, my dear Miss c."
said the ancient beau, "you must not
call me that--call me George"
A few moments afterwards they rv.
turned to the drawing room and min.
glst. With the throng, when. to tho
amazement and horror Of oar ambassa-
dor. the mischievous girl exclaimed, loud
enough for tho whole company to hear
%Georgs, ] hayo dropped my glove
please 60 and look for it. -
Bancroft went. but did not return.
fT "And so ye have taken the teeto.
tai pledge, have yor' said one Irshman
to another
"Intladc 1havc. aud am not ashamed
Of it aither."
"And did not Paul tell Timothy to
take a little wine for his stomach 2"
sSo,he did! But then my name is
nosTimothy; and there 10 nothing the
matter with my stomach bedad"
kE In Boston, women elegantly
dressed and Of aristocratic appearance go
to dry goods stores, enough to attract
attention, then thrusta pair Of gloves in
their pockets, are discovered, burst into
an agony Of tears, pay for the gloves
with . counterfeit Xxx, and leave with
ferrent promises OF reform and els so
In good money,
- City BARRIERS now put the Dolly
Warden touch on heads Of young men
who arr, able to afford "hair dress +"
every time they 60 out to an evening
party The style consists in pasting tho
haraaown lower than ever on the fore
head, and making regular Nose I"
soaplock ia front Of each ear. The
wcarers look sweet enough to kick.
EE We have but one moment at once.
let US improve Our moment will soon
come when this life will cease--may we
se G-e to meet it without regret
k1 A Juvenile Georgian, pe,itioning
for /" our daily bread" previous to to re-.
firing, was interrupted by his younger
brother, who whispered. ASK for cake,
Johnny! ask for cake" ~.oh q
HA little girl who had jnst under.
gone the unpleasant ceremony Of vac.
exclaimed: Nov / won't
Aavs 10 DO baptized, will I?'
~A lady writer says IL women we're y
- particular in chossings virtuous hus. q
bar5d q men are in selecting q virtuous
1ife,A moral reformation would soon t
,sG1us VII ich would DO something more o
haa froGh and foam. a.l
81 Bad luck is simply a man with
'is hands, IN his pockets and his pipe in
,is mouth looking on to see how Ii will
'ouse out Good luck is man Of pluck
nth hls sleeves rolled up and working '
o make it come right.
~ The inmates Of Sing Sing prison
rant to know what there Is in name IL
hey are not permitted to send a delcga. {
lou 70 the Peace jubilee.