The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1872-07-10
sasaszss

thew rage from t5c psc head to = quarter:
1Iasonic Hall is to be fxed-that is, the
ventilators are tobe opened. Thissis well.
WethinkFeuld be wel for ourit
Father to establish Pound-and take mp;
loose dogs daiiy--to be paid for next 4ncrn-S
ing-dollar . head, or-plauted. In the4
latter event we might begin sheep bus
bandry.
Our devil says that Newherry has three
bands Of music, one in the middle Of the
town, and the others at the extreme ENDS.
He thinks this preserves the balance Of pow
er, for if a Il the bands were together, tie ex-
haustion Of air would produce s vacuum,
which might result IL the blowing up Of one
end of the etoWn..---y-~-.--,--- ----s----
Ourdesil falsely iragines that rings are the
order cf the day-Hhiskey rings, tobacco
rugs, railroad rings, and fnge, rings; these
latter. he says, are the rings which have
chaiGs attached to tnen.
SPICE
A female barber ont West, has retired
! from business On account of the arrival Of
little shaver
4 Connecticut surgeon is said to have
supplied bald woman with 3 6ne head Of
hair by grating.
You may convince nan, but you must
persuade woman.
4 poe! has been ha,ched ont in Duck
town. Tennessee. His first qnack is called
! "Etlsna, Of the Doom Of the Bride and Her
! Lover, in fou. cantos."
Another Indiana women !as! week accom-
oiished tie rapid Ges. Of procuring divorce,
marriage license, and G fresh husband, all
within eight hours.
Newly married daughter-"RoT long
does the honeymoon last, mamma" Prac-
.ical parent--"Uut:l you ask your husband
, for money, my dear"
A Danbnry, Coma, gentleman came home
!ate one night. His wife wEo Has in bed
heard an unusual noise below, and going
down, found her lord on his knees in from:
OF her best set of fu!s He had his gun i'll his
hand, and look of intense anxiety upon
MS face The instant the door opened be
hastily exclaimed: "Sh-si., old woman,
dom: scare 'em." Scare what, you OLD
fool?n murmered his wife, Moths" he
iystericaly whispered, Pm goin' for 'eal,
Gle woman: the first moth whs: shows mis-
head cut OF them furs will get his limbs
shattered, or Ila----" Sick ct hear. and
humiliated beyond description, the misera-
Die woman dragged herself back to bed:
Bob-"Ji,n, de men don't make such fools
Of demselyes about women as de women do
about ulen. If dey look at the moon they
see man in it. If dcy hear mouse nib
bling it's man; and dey al look under de
bed last thing at night to And man. Why,
ncbber looks under my bed to find wo-
! man, does ycu?'
We have all heard OF the extreme fas-
t;diousness of the female half Of the Ameri-
cans, and that they cannot bear to see the
naked leg ola mahogany table; but it was
paying little e1pensiVely for the indul-
gence of that sentiment when on yachting
excursion, young lady who was on board
sprang out of her berth and jumped over.
board on hearing the captain, during gale
of wind, order the mate to ;iau! down the
| sheets.
A young man serenadirg, sung the
following under the wrong window:
my dear Canora,
Ny dear Csnora"-
Just at that moment an old scratch
poHsd her head ou. the window and sang:
young man below there,
Young man 5clow there,
Your dear Cano.s
Lives four doors 5eloH here"