The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-07-20
spoilt Children.
(Fr0m Hearth and Honey

Thackery in his "Phillip," five remem.
Der rightly, says that he noticed that in
America grown up children we're gen.
orally on good terms with their parents,
and he attributes II TO the fact that they
had been spoiled when they were little
Good enough, and witty enough, we wish
II were always true Of, American parents
and their children that they dwelt to.
gether In harmony. The kind Of spelling
that brings this about, the tenderness, the
torbearance, the sympathy ofthe parent
toward the child, 10 always admirable.
But In more serious sense nothing puts
o greater guilt between parents and Chill.
dren than weak indulgence.
Now do not misunderstood. There are
parents who are always exacting. They
think they will make good children by
necessarily jerking the reins this way and
that. There Is no surer way OF spelling
child. Indulgencein one sense is a pa.
rental duty. Every parent should set
himself to make his child as happy as
possible. We have heard a father or
mother reprOached lOr the pains taken to
serve their children: You'll spoil that
child; you make yourselfa slave for him {"
Ayl and thai Is just what God does for his
children. He serves them, he seeks to
to make them happy. Let it be under,
stood that no indulgence, tender, constant
and devoted, u it Be not ucak and foolish,
ever spOils child.
Forbearance does not spoil child. We
recall now the story OF q great philanthro.
pist, still living, who rejected corporal
punishment on principle. His unruly
boys gave him great trouble, but his pa.
tience could not be worn out For hours
he labored to bring child under auth0ri.
ty without chastisement. And his reward
is family Of grown.up sons worthy Of
their sire, devoted to him, loving him,
cleaving to him. We think his theory in
the matter of corporal punishment ex.
treme; but we admire his patience, his
tirmness, and his parental forbearance.
Let a parent never imagine that he is
spelling his child by controlling his own
temper.
AS we have before shown, freedom does
not spoil child. Let a child have all
the freedom he can stand. Beyond this
the lGissez taire policy is evil.
Children are spoiled, as we shave shown,
by sternness. But they are also spoiled
by the weakness, selfshness, and indo-
lence Of parents. II there Is to be any
government, there must be flrmness. Not
that q parent shall persist in q course
which he finds wrong; for nothing so de-
strOys the confidence oil a child as to find
that the authority above him is not
reasonable. But when the parent is con.
vinced that there Is a case in which au.
thority must be exercised, a case in which
the child will not act according to reason
and conscience, a case in which reason
and ehtreaty fail, then let him be firm.
Not angry, not provoking, not insult
ing to his child, only firm and
patient. II you give way to o child's
insistency, you have put premium
upon it, you have sacrificed his
respect for you, you have done your best
to overthrow Ut blow your authority
and your influence. Never put your
resistance to the child's demand upon
the ground Of your self:will, it is then
only stubbornness in his eyes; it Is not
best usually to put 1t upon the ground ol
your right to be obeyed, it then looks like
a desp0tism. But on the ground of the
right CT wrong OF the thing in question,
OF the harmfulness of 1t to the child or
some one else, take your stand, and, un.
less convinced that you are wrong, do not
be coaxed or wheedled. Let your love
appear in your decision. Let it be en-.
forced without petulance, willfulness, or
needless irritation to the child. But let
it be enforced.
How many parents yield to wheedling,
and yield in the worst possible way |
F"Well, If You must" says such an one, II
suppose you must. You'll worry me to
death il don't let you. But you know
it's wrong; and you ought to be ashamed
Of yourself 10 doso. In which speech
the child is informed that he can very
easily get an advantage over you if he Is
persistent and tormenting, and that you
are weak enough and ind0lent enough to
yield in case where you are certainly
right, rather than subject yourself to
trouble. So he loses respect for your au.
thority, casts of your influence, learns to
prefer his ease to his duty, andis spoiled.