Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-09-05
Varieties.

oLERGTMEN and brakmen do the most
coupling.
WHEN is a gun-barrel a chicken?
When it is a Aale fo,ol.
A STORM is like fish after a hook
when it is going to abate.
No WONDER time is SO often killed
when it is struck every hour.
EXCUSE haste and bad pen" as the
pig said when he broke out.
AN En- glish philosopher studies prison
life by being committed to Jail.
Why are blacksmiths always wicked
men? Because they are given to vice.
MAN who works for living should
marry a woman taller than himself.
"The laborer is worthy of his higher
MANY persons write articles and send
them to an editor to be corrected-as if
an editors office was house of correc-
ton.
II WONDER what causes my eyes to be
SC weak ?" said fop to a gentleman.
"They are in weak place." replied the
latter.
IT doesn't matter how watchful and
vigilant girl is, if rude fellow kisses
her, it is ten to one he will do it right
under her nose.
A LADY asked gentleman, who was
suffering from influenza, "My dear sir,
what do you use for your cold?'' Give
handkerchiefs day, madam"
A FELLOW who has actually tried it
says that, although there are three
scruples to dram, the more drains you
take the less scruples you have.
THE advertisement of a Western
stone-cutter reads, "Those who buy
tomb-stones of US look with pride and
satisfaction on the graves of their
friends"
'Do YOU understand me now ?" thun-
dered country pedagogue to an urchin
at whose head he threw an inkstand.
'I've got an inkling of what you
mean"
"MY SON. said man of doubtful
morals, putting his hand on the head
of a young urchin, III believe Satan has
got hold of you ~ believe SO too,n
replied the boy.
A CHINANAN in Weaverville, CAL,
whose life was insured for a large
amount, was seriously hurt by falling
from wagon. There was some doubt
of his ever getting better and at length
one of his friends wrote to the insur-
ance company, Charley half dead,
likee half money!
A YOUNG gentleman of Morristown,
n. j., was playing at hay-making with
rural Maud Muller, and rather liked
it until a swarm of yellow jackets crawl
! ed up his nankeen troWsers. Maud
laughed heartily at the Irish Jig he
danced, until she got ''some of it in
her'n.''
Two Irishmen on q sultry night took
refuge under the bed clothes from a
party Of mosquitoes. At last one of
them, gasping fro m heat, ventured to
peep beyond the bulwarks, and espied
a FREELY which had strayed into the
room. Accusing his companion with
| punch, he said: Fergus, it's on use.
Ye might as well come out. Here's one
the craythers searching for US with q
lantern!'
THREE little boys were disputing as to
whose father said the shortest grace.
First boy-"My father says, Lord, we
thank You for these provisions Sec
ond-"And mine says, Father, bless
this food to u.s. >" Third boy-"Ah,
but mines the best of all. He shoves
his plate up to mamma, and says, "Darn
We, fill up"
THE following is the way they call out
the figure of "reel" in Georgia:
'Dance to the gal with the yellow
shawl; now down outsides and up the
middle; turn to your partner, Isaac
| Smach, and now to that entire stranger;
sachez to the right and left; IA de tan,
da du de; now to Peter Switheralrs
daughter; turn to your partner, every
one; set to the gal with the faring frill;
balance one and spin about to the girl
with the hole in the heel of her stock
ing"