The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-12-12
THE SOCIETY MAN.

and besrdless youths develop a mas
cent nothingness by exfoliating Their
shlrt-~rlsts and zouave brceches, to
emerge into the full-blown glory of a
stunning necktie. with cut-away..coat
and general paraphernalia of incipi-
ent puppy-hood in this advanced
era of real life there has blossomed
and fructified-we wish we could add
died and was buried-the genus so
clety man." So important an indi-
vldual deserves an investigation,
recognition, and a place among the
.poodles of humanity.
The great, grand and all pcrvad-
ing evidence of his relationship to a
higher humanity is his desire after
omnlpresence and omnisicience, even
though this be limited in its special
sphere 1t is indispensable to hi.
existence as a society man. to be
seen every where. Thomas Garden
concerts, the Fifth avenue and Wal
Lacks theatres would probably close
were he not there at every perform.
ance. He has no seat, tor he has no
time to sit, but he stands in the
hronged corridor, leans against a
conspicuous post, satisfied to be seen
by those entering to lift his hat to
some equally frivolous butterfly of
the other sex. Having seen the au-
dlence in to this place, he hurres
away to perambulate, between the
parts, at a second, which he needs
dispatch as rapidly in order to be on
hand to greet the outcomers at a
third.
This omnipresence is an actual
necessity to the "society man." for
his whole sock of conversational
language is limited to the bali state
ment, ''Oh, [ saw att and
an equally entertaining statement of
the style OF hat, garment, or trim
ming, worn on this same occasion,
intended to evince the depth of the
impression made upon his saponace-
Gus cerebrum.
His faculty of omnisicience is
equally as grand and lofty, but is
limited to bowling acquaintance
with the girls Of the period"
Ills pride finds here its fullest devel.
opement. A Sunday in spring is
his grand day Of expansion. Then
to walk on the avenue, and to keep
up constant rise and fall of the
right arm, as near as possible, per-
petual rising of his hat, with cor
responding correlating bend of the
Spinal column and really. life seems
to nave no higher aim.
But no peacock ever spread his
ostentatious plGmage as proudly as
does our society man. when he
chances to meet promenading girls
school. Here is game worthy the
powd@r. opportunity for 'firt-
ing" which means to wink at some,
to pout his lips as if to kiss others
in short, to act in such a way as
would be an insult to any respecta-
bic girl, if alone, and not a school
girl.
The butterfly "society man. has
a short existence the summers
scarcely count for, impecunious,
and tied to desk or counter, he can
get but a brief two weeks; and an
omnipresence at all the watering
places being impossible, he general
ly chooses some cheap excursion.
AT few winter ''sociables'' he is
but, suddenly drop
ping out, he is found to have mar
ried his landlady's daughter (who
was not in society the more conve-
nlently to harmoniously settle his
delinquent board-bilI What be-
comes Of his taiIor's bills history has
not yet recorded.
The society man is thus seen to
be composed of a superabundance of
nothing. We presume he has al
blood pumping machine, but sensl-
bility and feeling and affection are
wanting. We know he has head,
for it is on that that his spotless
castor reposeth during the brief in
tervals of his female recognitioua.
AS a human being, his principaI