davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
VARIETIES.

An Atlanta lover bought his rival off
with $40, and is now happy in possession
of the object of his alteration. The man
who received the money thinks he got $19.-
rs the best of the bargain.
When the cold wind blows, take care
of your nose, that it doesn't get froze, and
wrap up your toes in warm woollen hose
The above, we suppose, was written in
prose, by some one who knows the effect Of
cold SHOWS.
"A dry chap in Connecticut hailed the
driver of charcoal cart and asked him if
he had any charcoal in his wagon. Eyes
SIR" was the answer, and the horses were
reined up. "That's right" responded the
fellow, "always speak the truth and people
will respect YOU" OF course he did not
tarry long to prolong the conversation.
Fanny Fern writes with reference to
the expensive toys now in vogue: "The
doll of my bib-days was crooked-necked
squash, with u towel for dress and q nu-
merous progeny of little cucumbers for
babies; and was just as happy and
great deal better contented than the little
girl of to-day with a 800 Paris doll"
An Irish jockey, once selling an old
nag to gentleman frequently observed
with emphatic earnestness that he was an
honest" horse. After the purchase the
gentleman asked what he meant by an ''hon-
est horse "Why, sir" replied the seller,
whenever | rode him he threatened to
throw me, and he certainly never deceived
me-"
"A San Francisco school teacher re-
ceived the following note from the osten-
sible" parent of one of his pupils: 81
hope, as to my John, you will fog him just
as offin as you kin. Heas q bad boy-is
John. Altho I've been in the habit of
teaching him miself, it seems to me he will
never larn anithing his spellen is ottra.
gously defshent. Wallop him well, ser,
and you will receive my thanks"
"A colored debating society at Coving-
ton, Ca, lately considered the stupendous
question (Which is the more useful, pa
per or gunpowder?" The president was
! for long time in great doubt as to which
side had produced the strongest argument,
when one of the powder side arose and
very gravely said: 'Spose dare was n bar
out dare at de door, and you was to go dar
and shake the paper at him, you'd see what
de bar would do. But jes shoot cannon
at him and mark de result calls for de
question The president forthwith dec-
ded in favor of powder.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
THE EGIS & INTELLIGENCER
Is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY by
F. w. 3 A x E R.
Terms-$ so a Year, in Advance,
Otherwise $500 will be charged

TRANSIENT ADvERTIsEMENTs.-On Square, two inser-
TONS Sl0o Each subsequent insertion % cents. Lon
ger advertisements in the same proportion A space
equal to eight lines makes square
Go Yearly advertisements at special rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
Po g &c al
Barney BuntIine and Billy BowIine.

5aFney buntiine and Billy BoWlint
One night came hurricane
The seas were mountains rolling
When Barney Buntline turned his quid,
And said to Billy Bowline:
"a strong Sou'wester's blowing, Billy,
Lordl can't you hear it roar now
Oh, how PHYS all of them
Unhappy folks on shore now!
Foolhardy chaps, as lives in towns,
What dangers they are all in;
Fen now there quaking in their beds,
F,r fear the roof should fall in.
Poor creatures, how they envies lis,
And wishes, I've a notion,
For our good luck in such storm,
To be upon the ocean.
And as for them that's out all day
On duty from their houses,
And late at night returning home
To cheer their babes and spouses,
While you and upon this deck
Arc comfortably lying,
My eyes what tiles, what chimney pots
About their heads are flying
And often have we seamen heard
How men are killed or undone,
BY overturning carriages,
By fire, by thieves in London
We know what risks all landsmen rum
From noblemen to tailors;
So, Billy, let's thank Providence
That You and are sailors"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
STRAY SOW.

Hartford County, to nit:
/ HEREBY certify that Jesse w. Davis
l. of Hartford county, brought before me
the subscriber, one of the Justices of the
Peace, in and for said county, this 23d day
Of January, in the year 1872, as stray
trespassing upon his enclosures, WHITE
SOW; no ear mark, weighs about zoe
pounds. Also SEVEN PIGS about three
weeks old.
Given under my hand,
JOHN B. FOY, J.P.
The owner of the above described Sow
and Pigs is requested to prove property
pay charges and take them away.
jan26-3t JESSE w. DAVIS.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
NOTICE.
Episcopal Rectory and Church Ground

rJNHE members of Christ Church Crock
l SPRING. and Emmanuel Church, Bel
Air, and any others who may be interested
in the improvement of the Episcopal Rec
tory and Church property, in Bel Air, are
requested to send to the undersigned contri-
buttons of ornamental trees, shrubbery, &C.,
to be used in the ornamentation of the
grounds. Also grass seeds and fertilizers,
in order that the grounds may be covered
with a coating of grass.
Rev. VIM. E. SNOWDEN,
Bel Air
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09

SoURRELs.-Squirrels are so great a nui
sance in California that bounty often cents
per head is paid for their destruction. A
single hunter has killed and trapped ten
thousand in one season, for which he got
one thousand dollars bounty. He sent the
skins to Paris, where they sold at fifteen
cents each, swelling his receipts to two
thousand and five hundred dollars for his
captures The skins are said to be more
valuable than those of the rat or kid in the
manufacture of gloves.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
LOST,

T OST- two CERTIFICATES ofSTOCK
IL in the Conowingo Bridge Company
one in the name of Joshua H. Shaw, fol
three Shares and the other in the name OF
Ames B. Shaw, for ten shares of said Stock
Notice is hereby given, that application
will be made to the President of said Com.
pany, for new Certificates for the above
Stock.
JOSHUA III. SHAW,
for self and as Admin o.
jan26 A. B. Shaw.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
NOTICE.

TNHIS IS TO CERTIFY, that Sarah Virginia Hunter
l has left home my bed and board, without any just
cause, and she is ger my wife, will pay bills
of her contracting.
Hartford County, Md, jan 26th, 1872.
feb2-3ta DANIEL II. HUNTER.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-09
WANTED.

TOOD LOCAL AGENTS in Hartford
VI county, for the Maryland Life Insu-
rance Company of Baltimore, with whom
liberal arrangements will be made by APP
plying to
G. AUSTIN CARLISLE,
Fallston, Md,
jan26 General Agent for Hartford Co.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
Varieties.

A wGpowlR was recently rejected by
a damsel who didn't want affections that
had been warmed over.
A LEAvENwoRTH editor sat down n
reserved seat already occupied by
hornet. He stands up when scissor
ing his editorials.
A PRETTY girl lately entered saloon
at Dubuque, Ia, kicked over table,
drew a revolver on the bartender, and
led her father out by the ear.
A WESTERN editor, in acknowledging
the gift of peck of onions from sub
scriber, says: at is such kindsesses as
these that bring tears to our eyes"
THE Rondout Times has been victim.
lied by travelling "jour" printer, who
is described as "a short, scrawny indi-
vidual, with more jaw than a Govern
ment mule"
THE gentleman SO often spoken OF in
novels, who riveted people with his
gaze. has obtained employment IN
boiler mandatory, with extra pay, on
account of his peculiar faculty.
THREE or four Broadway stage COM
panies have each sued Bergh's society
for interference with their business.
Each claims $4,000 damages, and asks
injunction against Bergh and his men.
A YOUTH, after vainly trying to eX.
plain some scientific theory to his fair
inamorata, said " The question is diff
cult, and | don't see what can do to
make it clearer" " Suppose you pop
it," whispered the blushing damsel.
The New York Evening Post tells US of
curiosities in strikes The greatest
of all curiosities in strikes is, we believe,
the case of Mr.. William Patterson, who
was struck at least forty years ago, and
yet it has never beer found out who did.
A LITTLE girl, daughter Of clergy.
man, being left one day to tend door,"
and obeying a summons of the bell, she
found gentleman on the steps who
wished TO see her father. Father isn't
in" she said, " but if it's anything about
your soul, can attend to you. | know
the whole plan OF salvation"
THE aurora borealis is very fine
show. Most people like TO look at it,
and some are deeply affected at the
spectacle, but very few, we are bound
to say, are taken the same way with the
Illinois editor, who says " Here we lean
over the verge of the infinite, longing to
grasp its mysteries lost in the profundi-
ties of immensely" What would have
bacome of that man if he had lost his
be- lance?
CLERICAL gentleman (who objects to
smoke, and means to make an example)
=" May | inquire your name, sir?''
Commercial" To besure you may. I'm
Davis, from Bradford in the stuff trade.
What line might yours be ?" Clerical
gentleman with irony -" The spiritual,
SIR" Commercial mot noticing the
irony =" Is it, though? What an awful
price you've got gin up to, the last fort
night!'' The clerical gentleman dis.
covers that he has friend in another
car.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
Sword and PlOW.

There once was a count, so I've heard il said
Who felt that his end drew near;
And he called his sons before his bed
10 part them his goods and gear.
He called for his pillow. he called for his sword
The gallant, good and brave:
They brought him both at their fathers word,
And thus he his blessings gave:
81 Nv first born son. my pride and might.
Do thou my sword retain;
NY castle on tn lordly height,
And all my bright domain.
- On thee. my we'll loved younger boy.
Ny pillow here bestow,
A peaceful life shalt thou enjoy,
In the quiet vale below"
Contented sank the sire TO rest.
Now all was given away
The sons held true his last beheSt
Fen on their dying day.
81 Now tell us what came Of the steel of fame.
Jf the castle and its knight!
And tell us what came OF the vale so tame,
And the humble peasant wightF
o, ask not of me what the end may be?
Ask of the country round
The castle il dust, the sword is rust,
The height is but desert ground.
But the vale spreads wide in the golden pride
OF the autumn sunlight now
Ii teens and il ripens far and wide.
And the honor abides with the plow.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15

These figures tell the terrible story,
and they ought to put Americans TO
shame for the palpable violation of nat
ural laws, the result of which, as is seen
in these tables, is decimating the Amer.
lean people. With this ratio continued
for few generations, it is easy 20 see
that the genuine Yankee will become
nearly or quite extinct.
The cause for this condition Of things
must be looked for in the modern de.
mands of society upon individuals and
families. The greed for wealth the
posIponement o, marriage until il is at
tanned the inability to support and
educate family; the expense of living /;
the desire to be fashionable and in
style; a. we'll as thousand considera.
tons that have come Of the modern
ideas of home and society, operate in
the direction indicated, and lead TO dis.
astrous results. 1t is probably useless
to preach upon this subject, for it will
require some agency more powerful than
the press or pulpit, even, 20 stay this
mighty evil. But we can all see TO what
it is inevitably tending, and what will
be the result upon succeeding genera.
tons. We can have the consciousness,
if there is any pleasure in 1t. that there
is little hope for our children and
those who shall come after them in
maintaining the distinctive national
features and characteristics that per-
tanned to our progenitors.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
Defamation OF Americans.

1t is a truth which must be admitted,
that as nation we are sadly wanting IN
that reproductive energy that charac'
terizes most people of the earth. The
disposition TO lead lives of celibacy, the
frightful increase of childless homes
with the married, and the limited num-
Der of children where any are born, are
telling wonderfully in the statistics OF
our country. Forty years ago the mum
Der of adults who voluntarily chose a
single life were small comparatively,
and when any children were born 10
parents q dozen was the rule and one
and two the exception. Now much
less number marry, and the rule is one
or two children, il indeed any at all,
and the exception from five and eight
TO bakers dozen. The effect OF all
this is to deteriorate our nationality, re-
tard the progress it is our privilege and
duty to make, and allow those who
come among US to supplant us in our
native land.
There is a cause for this-a very sim
pie cause-and yet perhaps compare
lively few have given 1T sufficient
thought to be able to account for the
results which all must have observed /;
and if understood, there is probably
disinclination to admit its truth, or an
unwillingness to seek TO correct the
evil. But the fact exists, and it is one
of fearful import to the future OF
America.
DR.. J. NJ. Toner, of Washington, a
statistician of considerable note, has
collected some valuable facts bearing
upon this subject, and in his diagram
showing the proportion OF white chill
dren of both sexes under fifteen years
to the 900 white females between 6f-
teen and fifty years, the hubble age, in
each State at the beginning of each de-
cade, from 1900 to 1860, makes known
the fact that what has been thrown into
the face of the New England States,
especially Massachusetts,, as their pecu.
Far shame, is equally true of every other
State in the Union. He shows rom the
| census reports that only one-half as
many children are now born to each
200 women as during the year 1900,
and that there has been regular de-
crease from one decade of years TO
another. For example, the following
shows the number of children TO each
| 1000 women at the several period.
named
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
The Largest Beehive i'm the World.

In Los Angeles county, on the east
ern slope OF the San Fernando range of
mountains, and in the imm ediate vicinity
OF the Leaning Petroleum Companvs
oil region, there is the most wonderful
collection of wild honey in existence.
The hive is located in rift, which pene-
trates the rock to the depth of prob
ably 100 feet. The oritice is 30 feet
long and II feet wide; four passages.
This rift was discovered to be the abid-
ing place of swarm of bees. that is
represented as coming out in a nearly
solid column one foot in diameter. Ger
tain parties have endeavored to descend
to the immense store of honey collected
by these bees, but were invariably driven
back, and one man lost his life in the
effort. Others have, at the expense of
much labor and money, built a scaffold
10 feet high, in the hope of reaching a
place whence they could run a drift
INTO the rock, and extract its well.
boarded sweets, but finally ceased their
work. Within four years the bees have
added not less than fifteen feet of depth
to their treasure, as ascertained by
actual measurement, and it is thought
that at the present time there cannot
be less than eight or ten tons of honey
in the rock. A man named B. Brophy
lives in a cabin not far from the
spot, and obtained from the melting
OF the honey by the suns heat, more
than enough for his family require
ments. All through that region inn
mense stores of wild honey are found in
trees, in the rocks, in nearly every
nlaca yhara nj,
turers think of-for bees seem TO think
that it will be secure. They consume
very small proportion, as the climate
enables them to keep up operations
nearly every day in the year, and flow.
ers OF some sort are always in bloom:
1t must be very severe season indeed
when the little fellows are not seen
abroad in vast numbers, busily engaged
In their mellifluous work.-,San Fran
cisco Herald.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
A COmanche Brave Captures the Heart
of Wash ngtOn Belle.

Among the red men now visiting the
capital 10 smoke the pipe of peace is a
youthful Comanche brave, who has at
tracted no little attention from the
ladies of Washington. The other day,
during visit of several families to the
hotel where he is stopping, he saw
pretty young lady Of about his own age,
the daughter of one of the wealthiest
men of the city, and fell so violently in
love with her AZ first sight that when
the party left the house he followed her
to her residence. For two or three days
subsequently he was observed hanging
sround the vicinity, occasionally catch
ing a glimpse OF her: and, strange to
say, the young lady has conceived an
equally violent passion for him. On
Saturday last she went out riding with
him in the elegant barouche belonging
TO the paternal mansion, and when
those having charge of her strictly for.
babe any further exhibitions OF such
bad taste on her part, she frankly de-
clared her intention of wedding the
Comanche. On the other side, the
young Indian has been freely supplied
with money, and declares that he will
not return to the happy hunting grounds
of the West unless the object OF his de-
votion should 60 with him. OF course
such deplorable state of affairs has
necessitated some action on the part of
the authorities. The Commissioner of
Indian Affairs has therefore been noti-
fed that the susceptible Comanche must
be made to leave the city forthwith, and
a thousand dollar draft has been ten.
dered him by brother of the misguided
girl as a bonus for his departure. But
the Comanche is incorrigible and stead.
lily resists all overtures. The delicate
circumstances of the case, and the fear
OF their names being given publicity in
the event Of a denouement, have so far
worked upon the relatives of the Girl
that she will be taken hence to New
York on the through train tonight,
and, notwithstanding the lateness of
the season, will quietly take passage for
Europe by an early steamer, the dis.
tracted millionaire whose daughter she
is perceiving no other way TO cure her
of her unhappy predilection.- Wash
ington Correspondence Boston Traveller.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
Almost as Bad as n Murder.

On Sunday young girl named Mile
Riddle was approaching the railroad
track of the Allegheny Valley railroad
near Brady's Bend, Pa, carrying q
bucket of water III each hand The
locomotive was coming down at the
time, when the girl stopped to let il
pass before crossing. A man standing
by told the girl she was afraid to cross
the track before the locomotive, when
instantly at the banter she started, but
had not taken two steps when the
engine came laundering along, striking
and crushing her almost to atoms,
portions of her body being gathered up
with shovel.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
A Legend or the NOrthland.
BY PHOEBE CARY.

Away, away 10 the Nerthland,
Where the hours of the day are few,
And the nights are so long in winter,
They cannot sleep them through;
Where they harness the swift reindeer
To the sledges when Il SHOWS;
And the children look ike bears CUBS,
In their funny, furry clothes.
They tell them a curious story
don't believe tits true
And yet you may learn lesson,
If | tell the tale TO you.
Once when the good ST. Peter
Lived in the world below,
Ana walked about II preaching,
Just as he did, you know.
lie came to the door Of cottage,
In travelling round the earth,
Where a little woman was making CAKES
And baking them on the hearth;
And being faint with fasting,
For the day was almost done,
lie asked her, from her store OF cakes,
To give him single one.
So she made a very little cake.
But as il baking lay,
She looked at it, and thought il seemed
Too large to give away.
Therefore, she kneaded another
And still smaller one;
But il looked, when she turned il over.
As large as the first had done.
Then she took a tiny scrap of dough
And rolled and rolled it fiat;
And baked II thin as wafer
But she couldn't part with that.
For she said, MY cakes that seem too small
When l eat of them myself,
Are yet too large TO give away,
So she put them on the shelf.
Then good st. Peter grew angry.
For ne was hungry ana faint;
And surely such woman
Was enough 10 provoke saint.
And he said, ~ GU re far too selfish
To dwell IN human form,
TO have both food and shelter.
And fire to keep you warm.
Now you shall build as the birds do.
And shall get your scanty food
By. boring. and boring, and boring,
All day, in the hard, dry wood"
Then she went up through the chimney.
Never speaking word;
And out OF the top flew woodpecker,
For she was changed 10 a bird.
She had a scarlet cap on her head
And that was left the same:
But all the rest of her clothes were burned.
Black as a coal in the flame.
And every country School-boy
Has seen her in in the wood
Where she lives in the tree. TO this very day.
Boring. and boring for food.
And this is the lesson she teaches.
Live not for yourself alone
Lest the needs you will not pity
Shall one day be your own.
Give plenty of what is given you.
Listen to PHYS call;
Don't think the little you give is great,
And the much you get is small.
Now, my little boy, remember that
And try 10 be kind and good,
y hen you see the wood peckers sooty dress,
And see her scarlet hood.
You maynt be changed to a bird, though "
live
As selfShly as you can;
But you will be changed to a smaller thing
A mean and selfish man.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15
The Phenomena of the Brain.

One of the most inconceivable things
in the nature Of the brain is that, al
though the organ of sensation, it should
itself be insensible. To cut the brain
gives no pain yet in the brain resides
the power of feeling pain in any part of
the body. If the nerve which leads to
it from the injured part be divided, we
become instantly unconscious of suffer.
ing. 1t is only by communication with
the brain that any kind of sensation is
produced; yet the organ is itself insen.
sible. But there is circumstance more
wonderful still. A certain portion Of
the brain itself may be removed with.
out destroying life. The animal lives
and performs all those functions which
are necessary to simple vitality, but it
has no longer a mind. 1t can not think
or feel. 1t requires that the food should
be pushed into its stomach once there
il is digested, and the animal will even
thrive and grow fat. We infer, there.
fore, that part of the brain is simply
intended for the exercise Of the intel.
lectual faculties, whether Of the lower
degree, called instinct, or of that ex-
allied kind bestowed on man, called
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15

MORE than twenty thousand cities
and villages are now linked in one con.
tinuous chain of telegraphic stations.
The mysterious wire, with its subtle and
invisible influence. traverses all civilized
lands, and passes beneath oceans, seas
and rivers, bearing messages of bust
ness, friendship and love, and con.
stantly, silently, but powerfully con.
tributlng to the peace, happiness and
prosperity OF mankind.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15

In resorting to the lecture field, Laura
Fair is simply practicing upon her
former experiences. She merely takes
another shoot.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-11-15

AMONG the industries of Waterloo,
n. Y, now rising into importance, is
that of manufacturing yeast.cakes,
S0,000.000 of which were made last
year.