The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-06-06

The earliest barbecue on record. .--I.u.he
|, burning the Pope's bull III Worms. *
s An Irishnan just landed was asked wha
: party he belonged to. Party Is It r. said he
II suppose you've GOT government e''A Thii
I'm assn it.''
s ''My lord.'' said foreman OF an irish turr
s When giving in a verdict, 1--WE lind ghe ma,
| who stole the horse not guilty.
I A man whose eyesight was not good wa,
recommended to try glasses. He says III
went and took four at 4 neighboring saloon
anu the result WAS that his sighs was somucl
improved that hecould see double.
why Icllabod. 1 thought YOU get married
Imoressi year ago." s.Well, Aunt Jerusha
IS WAS talked Of. bu. found out that tile cir
] AMI III her folks we're opposed 10 it, soil inal
gave en- aH the mitten. anu 1T the thinp
Idrop."
| An irislnnaii went TO Bangor and bought 4
horse for two dollars and half. When he
had dragged him home neighbor said
"Arlsih nov, Pat. why didn't ye give half 4
dollar more for good one.'' sf
| Thomas said 4 fatlfer to his son, ..don,t
LET that girl make a fool of you. Remember
| the adagr. that Love isblind' z .,Ol,. talk
about loves being blind.'' said Tom, .why
see ten times as much beauty in that girl as
ynu tln.
An Indian squaw was seized hy some
Young fellows at Marshalltown Iowa. the
other night. They took her into the woods,
split her heal open with an AK. chopped Off
'ier feet aux twiste,l one arm out OF the Soc
ket. She Ias heen repaired. and HAS re-
snn'ed |, I old position in front Of the cigar
store.
If this interfrres with the Household De-
partment we can't help it. An old lady waa
once giving q. recipe for baking pears. and
She said the incest way was to stick Glove
IN each paar before baking. aud one Glove
wonld be amply sufficient to costons5nate Il
Whole pear
Al elderly gentleman was tray ling re-
Gently, while afflicted with very bad cough,
which, annoyed his fellow passengers greatly.
Finally one of them remarked. in tone, ot
eisreasnre: ''Sir. that's bad cough you've.
got,' Tr,,e, sir replied the old gentie-
man, ''hut you will please excuse me, Ills The
best I've got.''
Aii out of town couple applied To- q
ts.s,llg store for soda water. .s1vlat ayrup Pr
propoian1ed the clerk. .ssyrlip-syr,p, ;, rel
peated the htcoiic top, with an incredulous
stare, and then leaning forward he impress,
siyelv added: Stranger. money is no object
with me to t!ay, you can put refined sugar
in it,
+. 4, sentimental and spooney youth having
IN transport Of aI'dor told his love that 4
hundrei million years OF eternity might pass
away and still better than he loved his God
would lie love her, The young la;ly naiyelv
informed him at The end of that hun-
dred million years she wauid probably give
ear to bis sasiiit., =
The following neat reply was made TO d
school board examiner, who asked---.what
is the difference between canaibai and 4
Christian?" A boy OF ten, noted for his
good appetite and thc-conseqlient love Of fun
which always accompanies it, said. witt, d.
grin, why, master, Lii tell yer ]; tone en-
joys bisselt. and t'other enjoys other people.
f At the funeral of the Duke Of Wellington.
a little child was standing with her n,ofher
at Lo,d Ashburton's window to see the tu-
neral go by. She made no remark until the
Dukes horse MAS led blythe saddle empty
and the boots reversed in the stirraps, when
she looked up IN her mothers face. and said:
Mamma, when we die will there be nothing
left Ot us. bnt our boots Sf
Sir William B., being at a parish meatine,f
made some propepals which were ohirctesl
g by farmer. Highly enragcd, leI said
. the faHner: ..Sir. 90 you know that have
been at two universities. and at tvs colleges
It each university ~ well, sir.n said the
arfner, what OF that? I had a calf that
sucked two cows, and the observation / mae.eg
made was that the more he sucked the great
n calf he grew
bear about by day and night
The most acute of maladies;
TO picture it in black and white *
The object nf this ballad is
ermit me. gentle reader please,
7s To breathe III your auricular-
Isufer from the fell disease
Called nothing in particular
To render it the more intensa'
And nearly uncomfortable, i7.
My doctor says, In Confidence,
aTts t tally incnrable.
My mind has threatened ere to-day
10 lose its perpendicular,
And fall melancholy prey
10 nolhing in particular.