Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1872-05-30

WHICH, directly YOU return TO natural,
normal life, turn to fat. "
| tried to assure the poor fellow that
his case, as get, was by no means de-
spcrate-that he was far from n Bant-
ing but lie would not be comforted.
Il tel you / ought to know best,
Tom. 1t has been coming upon me
some time, now. | had long had some
uneasy suspicious on the subject, but |
was brought up sharp about two wears
ago. | was taking team to play the
opening match Of the sarson with the
Stalkshire Hedgehogs. Well sir, when
| came to puton my bags, | found |
had precious hard work to draw them
on. my thighs seemed 10 be in tights,
and the buttons altogether refused to
meet. At first / thought they had
shrnnk IN the wash, or possibly 1 bad
got pair of my brothers in a mistake.
But when | tried another pair [ found
it was still the same, and then | realiz-
ed the stern fact that | was growing a
pot. Since then have seldom played,
except with our own fellows. and I
shall give it up altogether next seseon.
This failure Of nay best-meant efforts
dlsmawed me excessively, for I'saw that
i had to deal With perfect hypoc-
hondriac on the subject of muscular
atrophy. He persisted in regarding
himself as shattered athlete, and vas
perpetuallv 8 fitcing the informal facts, !"
as he phrased it. The slightest thing
set him off he would 90 off on the
very faintest scent For instance, when
his Oldest boy, as fine a lad Of eight
years old as ever man called on, was
brought in after dinner, / stumbled on
the nnluckv remark that he was q per
feet little athlete y Joe was down on
me like a knife.
Don't talk like fool, Tom Do you
want to vitiate the poor little fellows
mind already? I once cdught that boy
playing With a dumb bell, ana / gave
hIli a good licking for it. And il
ever" he continued, sternly fixing the
boy with his eye, . | catch Joe on the
bars, or playing the tomfool in any
such way, / II skin him. Remember
that Joe, for | mean it. Gymnastics
have caused your poor father misery
enough, without wreclling the happi-
ness of his son. | am no heather to
sacrifice to Moloch."
Come, joe" I said :; ''you seem
uncommonly bitter against your old
love But be tlihe more explicit; let
us hear the whole of your impeach.
ment of gymnastics. You seem to be
as violent now In your denunciations
of them, as you We're formerly unreaeon
able III your devotion to them. Come
now what harm have they done to
you
well, in the first place." grunted
Joe, they have broken my wind" /
thought of the five miles an hour but
was silent, AT the slightest exertion.
on quickcning Of the pace, / begin to
blow like grampus. | tried to get up
Mount Blanc last year; had to give it
up at the the Grande Mulets eff | go
in for swimming, knock up after half
Il mile
"Well, but even if that is so, how is
it due to gymnastics ?"
" III tell You. In the first place, rs
| said before, they put on muscle that,
with the least inaction becomes fat
But, besides this, only consider what
fooleries we go in for when we are ut it
We get INTO a perfect lather of perspira-
ton we Immediately shove our heads
into basin of cold water, or get some
fool like ourselves to pour can of cold
water down our backs. OF course
perspiration is violently arrested, and
the system chilled. The result is that
we thicken the bronchial tubes we de-
ranged the action of the heart, We be.
come asthmatic, and extremely sus-
ceptible to cold.
"Well, | admit the first count, old
man. You are, comparatively-very
speaking, broken-wind-
ed. What next =
Well IN the next place, You never yet
knew fellow goin heavily for athletics
who did not damage himself sy over
atraning some part or other. You
knew Dupoids OF Baliol--magni1icent
fellow. saw him throw the hammer one
hundred and twelve fcet-well he strain
ed his left breast, and feels it ever
since Long, the mlle-ruuner, brought
on yereA and wears an elastic stocking
Coolas, the spurt-runner, went into a
consumption; my cousin Jack, who
won the sculls, has to wear truss. |
sprained the right pectoral muscle
when | was playing some stupid antics
on the trapeze, and directly the cold
weather sets in, | am never free from
pain III the damaged part. y
" Proven = | exclaimed, anxious to
check his "reminiscences of disabled
heroes, which threatened to become
lengthy You have made good your
second count. Iou are damaged, in
point of fact, a sercw-a broken-winded
screw What next -
" Besides all this :" continued he,
-" am quite convinced that strong
training makes man heavy, somuo-
lant nnl AAnnid Pinto who. to my