The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-08-02
TERMS s.. 90 PER ANNUM In ADVANCE.

beyond the words "papa," ''mamma," "me."
go" Shy" Their attempts at French are even
worse; they are continually using such low
French as 'ajOu," ''day-day," "ba-ba" and
oy,oy;" A man once told me there can be
no uouOt tnat babies are descended from ne
gr4es, Tor they always say ''me" for 81"
DaDies 40 not differ much in temper, size
OF uisposltion. They are violent, about the
slZe oi plhow and covetous. l once saw a
py pp"py WI WIN corkscrew, pair of tongs, a
hand-bell and broken hearth-brueb and
nothing could induce it to part from sn~ Of
them, although it had got the corkscrew half
way into its ear, and the handle of the hearth
brush altogether down its throat.
when you come near a baby, il stretches
out its hand and clutches hold of yonr
Aecktie. This il, the mother tells Won.
mark of high favor. and a sign that the
baby desires to kiss you. When you stoop
forward to kiss the creature it seizes YOU by
the hair, and every one but you laughs
and says what a-precocious baby it is. When
you sit down you are asked to hold the baby.
You take it in your arms and place it on your
knees. Immediately it catches hold of your
collar, and tries to stand up on your best
trousers with its dirty boots. If YOU don't
allow it, the mother says, "Oh, do, Mr. So
and-so, let him stand up; he is quite delight
ed at having discovered he can stand, and it
went hurt him." 1t then lays hold of your
shirt studs, and shoots out its finger at your
eye, and drives hand sticky with wet sugar
into the bosom of your shirt. Not unfre-
quently it behaves in manner so inconsid-
crate that description is impossible. This
makes you wish to put it down and stamp on
it with your right foot.
Babies, like dogs, are not found wild in any
country. They are always to be met with in
the vicinity of mankind. They are usually
the companions of women. In savage coun-
tries, when the men are out hunting tigers
with their horses and dogs, the women
amuse themselves with feeding babies
and smoking scalps, and drying beef
in the sun; in civilized countries, when
the men are out shooting pigeons or hunting
hares with their dogs, the women look at ba-
bies, and sit down until their hair grows
down to their feet, put on tight dresses and
learn the names of their children, if they
have time after coming in from seeing their
friends. The most singular thing about ba-
bies is that each one is larger and finer than
any one which has ever been seen before.
The first thing woman does when she takes
baby in her hands is to hold it at arms
length and say, "Oh dearp' or "Oh, my
goodnessp' or some other powerful words
''What a fine little fellow, and only seven
months old, too. Why, Mrs. So-and.so's
baby is ten months, and this little fellow is
twice his weight. Upon my word, Mrs. So
and so, have seen many baby, but this is
by far the finest" Mrs. So-and-so smiles,
and takes the baby, and shows low it can
very nearly stand when it is held up under
the arms and has its back against the leg of a
| sofa. A man once tod me that men were
descended from babies. What Mr.. Darwin
said about monkeys was bad enough, but this
is really carrying matters too far.