Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-01-13
Facts and E1aRcscs.

ne science OF sOrfOW-SlSncHuioSJ'
House corations-women.
fIigh.drawlic pressure-a lisp.
Fruit for newsmen-fresh dates.
Handsome trees-palms.
Cries from the deep-fish balls
A discontented fruit-the pine apple.
Bad dpunctuation-stoppiug the teach
er.
Motto of market gardeners" let us
have peas
Whole soIed reople-those who wear
new boots
The m'kman's song" Shall we
Gather at the river"
A blow at real estate-when men are
engaged breaking ground.
The man who had no music in his
sole wore seasoned leather.
The place to look for rounded peri
ods-in circular letters of credit,
Why is the road of the transgressors
so hard ? Because it is SO much trav>
eled.
Politician-A stray dog that runs up
to every one he sees, and was himself
all over.
An India rubber car is about being
invented, which, when jam full, will
hold couple more.
You can't smother shoemaker, for
if you exclude all the air from him he
can breathe his last.
When was the most beef tea made ?
When Henry the Eighth dissolved the
Pope's bull.
What is that which, when thrown
out, you may always catch without
hands A hint.
Quilp, who is lover Of music, says,
that Comm Thro' the Rye" never
goes across the grain.
Love is better than pair Of spec
tacles to make everything secu greater
which is seen through it.
Pays is the name of newspaper in
Paris Don't pay is the name of
great many in America.
What is the difference between an
editor and a wife Zone sets articles to
rights, and the other writes articles to
set
Mankind has been learning for six
thousand years, and yet how few have
learned that their fellow beings are as
good as themselves.
Mrs. W. G. johnson is lceturing in In
diana on Man in the Raw" This is
Mrs Johnson quain: way of speaking
Of good m, II; for it is the good men who
are rare.
\ minister asked tipsy fellow lean
ing up against n fence, where he expec-
ted to 90 when he died. :" IF can't
get along any better than do now "
he said, /" | SHAFT 20 anywhere. "
The gentleman who commenced the
repast by eating his own words, followed
it up by partaking Of humble pie, swal-
lowed an insult Immediately after, aud
got his dessert at the end.
An old lady, observing sign over
tailoring establishment, bearing the in
scription, " Fountain of Fashion," cx-
claimed: All THAT must be the place
where the squirts come from"
A gentleman laid in bed one morn
ing. when friend stepping in said:
p, breakfast is coming on"
" let it come" exclaimed P. with |
look Of defiance, | am not afraid of
it"
The KotFer's Friend says: Never
reprove child harshly for chewing, or
smoking or swearing" No, never re-
prove him harshly. The only way TO
cure him Is to thrash him within an
inch of his life.-LouisviNe journal
The young lady, who, on hearing of
a rivals excellent mitch, hid her head
in the sofa cushions, has since then en-
tirely lost it. But she is entirely un-
conscious of the fact, and her friends
don't notice iG.
Nervous old lady" Now, cabman,
you're sure your horse isquiet? What's
he laying back his ears for? Look !"
+" o, that's only her femi>nine curiosity, |
mum. She likes to hear where she's |
goin' to-"
There's moral taught by the follow
ing conversation, which needs to be
learned by many fathers. Said little
four year old, /" Mother, father won't be
in heaven with US will hel" "Why'
my child 2" because he cant leave
the store"
A tradesman who had failed in the
city of Bangor, wrote on his front door:
" Payment suspended for thirty days"