Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-05-31
BY MARX TWAIN.

over his clothes He took up O hat brush
and rcgenerated the nap of his sad silk
hat.
Those hash are not quite ready yet,
are they?" he ceolly inquired, and being
answered in the negative, he said that it
was no matter, as he was not wanted
at the City Hall just yet" and, turning
around, calmly surveyed the arrange.
ments of the place, and condescended
the remark that it was not quite equal to
the Metropolitan or Delmonico's, still
neat-very neat indeed.
Upon careful examination of his hands
he observed that the backing had soiled
them. He proceeded to the wash basin,
turned on the croton, and with free use
of scented soap, he secured his face and
hands most thoroughly Then he whisked
once white handkerchief. quickly
washed and wrung it, and returned it to
his hat to dry. The waiter being busy
with other customers, took but little no
tice of his maneuvers, and taking ad-
vantage Of this suspicious fact, Leonidas
removed the dirty paper collar and sub
stituted a clean one; Immediately subse-
quent he had hold of castor.bottle con-
tanning sweet oil, and pouring out about
an ounce, treated his distracted head to
bath of it. And now before mirror,
he made rapid and tasteful use of the
comb end brush. Observing his move
ment. one of the walters approached
him with. Dn
Have you given your orders, sirY' .
Dyes, thank you. It's coming SOON"
~ UWhat dish xxaa n cir ~
Hash. A plate Of hash, to begin"
.Leonidas now approached the counter,
where, seeing case of fancy articles,
and among them tooth brushes, he called
for one as if intending to purchase, and
after long scrutiny he selected one, at
tthe same time helping himself to a pinch
of snuff, just as the proprietor was clos
ing his snufbox. He now lightly
stepped 10 the wash basin and gave his
teeth such cleaning as few teeth can
withstand, and finished just as the anx-
ious waiter hurried breathlessly toward
him, exclaiming: .,..5
Here's your hash, sir Hash, sirl
Leonidas laid down the tooth brush
and strobe with dignity 10 table, where
he seated himself with satisfactory
Hal" as if one of John Ludin's ban
quets had been spread before him. y.
After one NOR rthfal, Here, waiter
exclaimed he, /" fill this water-pitcher,
and bring me the walnut ketchup"
This mandate being filled, he proceeded
to lay waste the hash. After finishing
that, with which he devoured half a
dozen thick slices of bread and about a
quarter of pound of butter, he crum-
bled the remaining slices into tumbler
of milk, the pitcher happening to hold
about two quarts Seeing nothing else
to eat on the table except a plate Of
pickles, he swallowed them all, regard
less Of curds, probably considering that
he had stomach enough for anything
By this time Leonidas Lunch appeared
to have got quite comfortable, for til.ing
his chair back against the wall, crossing
his legs and folding his hands, he fell
into a snooze, having achieved one Of
the cheapest dinners. on record. In a |
little while he began to snore harmoni-
onsly resounding blasts of victory. az
" say, Jack, said one waiter to an-
other, A." who is that snoozer out there |
agin the wall? fa
don't know. Thought you did, he
makes himself so much at home. He |
called for plate of hash about two
hours ago. Said something about not
being in a hurry to 60 to the City Hall
clerk, perhaps ssa igHbl
81 notice he swallowed all the bread |
and milk and pickles, and thinned that
butter down" ad sab 1ii ria
What makes him snore sol"
II spose it's the pickles quarreling
with the milk r.iil tr' 7l.i ha
At this moment Leonidas sneezed
with such violence that his chair tilted
forward, and he awoke amidst peal OF
laughter from the waiters-the custo
mcrs having long before gone about
their business.
" Had good sleep, sir2" gravely in
quired waiter, as Leonidas strobe up
10 the counter TO settle for his hash.
." Sleep2 .Me2 Yes, / believe / did
doze little. Ten cents. / believer rd
" For the hash, 2 said the clerk laying
particular emphasis on the word.
Ye-e-e-s," said Leonidas, airily, stro-
king his English whiskers. One plate,
only, l believe, for the hash2"
"Ten cents plate for hash only re-
piled the clerk. Winking sly to the wait
ers, who were making all sorts Of grim
aces. o..t
LeoAidas put his hand in his pocket,
and after famblng awhile, he drew out
from a corner a dilapidated ten cent
stamp, 50 wretchedly Withered and de-
faced-such mutilated evidence Of the
evils Of civil wsr-that the clerk started