The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-11-27
IRISH BULLS.

IRISH BULLS.
The quickness of reply and richness
of wit exhibited is unequalled by any
other nation. A native of Ireland
can always get out of difficulty by
the sharpness Of his wits. When the
officer told Il private to 60 and let his
captain know he was the idlest rascal
i'll the regiment, he answered. "Please,
your honor, you would not have me 60
with lie in my mouth ?" There is
often, too, beautiful pathos in these
Irish tales that is closely allied to
their humor. A poor old iuuy being
sympathized with on the loss of her
teeth, replied, Thine for me lose 'em
when I've nothing for EN- to do" An
Irishman never hlunders from stupid
ity but because his head has more than
it can carry. His name is invariably
associated in our minds with bulls. A
bull has been explained as Il false ex-
preston of truth, and Sydney Smith
calls it counterpart of witticsm !;
for wit discovers real relations that
are not apparent, while Il bull admits
apparent relations that are not real
The sum and substance of Marin
Edgeworth's essay on Irish Balls"
appcrs to be. that it is impossible To
define what they are. They are dis
tinct from the bunders of other coun.
tries, but in what that distinction con
sists has yet to be drcovered. MANY
Irish bulls contain good deal of
truth wrapped up in them; thus the
observation, "where will you find any
modern building that has lasted so
long as the an, ient," is pnl Y pervert
ed expression of II truth, for the old
thiLgs that have come down to us are
better than most of the new unes, in
that they are those which have been
selected, the struggle for life having
destroyed the bad. Most of the bulls
we know of are so mirth. producing
that We think we cannot do better than
string few togelhe.. An IRISH coro-
nor, IN remarklng on the great mortal
lty of certain Winter, Went IN to
observe that "Ihere are IL great many
people dying this year who never died
before" 1t must have been broth
er Of this gentleman, who, while play
ing at cards, noticed that Il shilling
was deficient in the pool, ana cried
out, "Here is shilling short, who pat
it IMP 1t was Sir Richard Steele that
! said TO Il certain great man whom he
wished to invite, "lf, Sir, you eve.
come within a mile of my house, |
hope you will stop there" 1t beng
remarked that II nnble-uan's wife had
no children, medical man hazarded
the opinion that he had nuticed such
To he hereditary IN some families. A
countrymau, who was indicted for
stealing a goose brought Il neigh or TO
swear that he remembered THAT very
goose IN his possession ever since 1t
was "a gosllng. An lrishman, who was
prisoner Tor ST, al.ng IL gun, OH hear
ing this defense, prevailed uu Il fellow
country man OI his 10 swear that he
remembered the gun III his pussesslon
| ever since lt was pistol. The follow
Ing description of very thin man l.
not bad Hes grown so thin, hard.
ly knew him. You are thu, aud am
thin, but he is thinner than both of us
put together" oIr Boyle Roche was
Il living walking bull aud hIs speech
was one continued blunder. In cunse-
quence II large number of bulls have
been attributed to him. In II speech
III the Irish House oI Commons he re
marked. "Sugle mistorIunes never
come alone, aud the greatest ol
all possible mlsturtunes is usually
followed by greater" Paddy
Blake's echo, that answered the ques-
lion, "HOw do you do, Paddy Blake" "
with words, Pretty we'll, thank YOU,
Sir" was iorstaljed by the echo ol
Charenton mentioned by Lord Bacon,
which on the mention Ut he devils
name answered "Va-t eu," The self.
convicted lrishmau vino was looking
over Il gentleman writing some un-
complimentary remarks aud called
I out, You lie, you scuuhdrel," Is 10 be
found IN Gallund's Paroles remdrqua-
bieS des OrientauX. Horace Wulpole
declared that the best Oull he ever
heard Was the saying ut the man who
declared, Il hate tnat woman flr she
changed me at nurse" THIS may he
traced to Saucho Panza. There are
practical bulls as well as spoken ones,
such as the action of the man whu
had dislike to certain banker, ami
! after collecting his notes burnt them