Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-03-16
wIHsANDaitUMOR.

1
g Gseditor's l,r,yey--That short pe,.
.s,ss. .soslsl lsstslae.ss.lsngs.sn.xsu-..--
! For views on the Rhine-look into
ia pork barrel. gf z--yx = ysv
fofTo keep ,wa1er out use pitch; to
keep ir in use IA pitcher. lsa ~
The only fish near the coast OF Ire.
land ls the sole fish.
There is man in Virginia who is SO
aristorratic that he has cut hs own ac.
(, quaint ,nce.
A wife's farewell to her husband ev.
cry morning. buy and buy.' Aark
The way we marry-ring the brides
finger, and then wiring her heart. m
"What is the use,- asked an idle
fellow, Of a man working himself to
death to get u living.
The man who was so hemmed in by
crowd, has been troubled with y
stitch in his side ever since.
Those ladies, who have a passion
for tea parties should remember that
tattie, begins with L.
Cork screws have sunk more people
than cork jackets will ever keep up.
Labor lost-An organ-grinder. play.
ing Mt the door OF deaf aud dumb
asylum.
Army contractors are sometimes
ambushed enemies who lie in weight.
Aye. and in measure, too.
You're a queer chicken! as the hen
said when she hatched out duck.
The way to make tall man short
m to ask him To lend You . few dol
lars.
A concert singer having murdered
= tune, subsequently tried his voice
and acquitted himself.
The herb electors hold that, to Be
healthy, man, like a tree, mast take
root. iiaf t9sa
The man who was lost in slumber,
found his way out on night mare.
"Pa, what is meant by raw 10
cruifs r UIt means soldiers who have
not stood fire, child.r
The man who attempted to look into
the future had the door slammed IN
his face. 4 t=.a
If you want TO be suited, 20 TO- q
tailor; If you want to be non-suited,
20 to law.
Young ladies' at needle work, arc
not always what they, appear. They
are sometimes scanning.
q Copy Of a silign upon an academy
outhWest, ss Freeman 20 Huggs; Free
inm teaches tbeBbays and Hugs tho
girls. mss, ~ ,as,si aefs
| Il do say,n remarked Mr.. Brown,
'.athat Jones is n i'tbief; but do say
that ii his farm joined mine, 1 would
not try to keep sheep" ts~ 81
II know every rock hn, the coast >
said AN Irish pilot. AT that moment
the ship struck, when lie exclaimed,
= aud that's Que OF them. .rsfgBE.ssA 8
lsG Master at homefn q Isc q sgeas
g No, sir, he's out.D0o 8flss
+" Mistress at home r. ...t rr,r,
"No, sir, she's out"
"Then III step in and sit by the
fire. AA
"That's out too. u
~" Any ting bite you dere Z" inquired
one Dutchman of another, whlie en-
gagged in angling No, nodings ut
aIl.n VeIl," returned the other,
/" noding bites me too.'
You havn't got such thing as an
old pair OF trousers, have you.7 = 81
j, "NO, my man." said the merchant,
I'll don't keep my wardrobe in my
counting-house.r fs
/ "Where do you live n rejoined Pat,
"and Ill call in the morning for the
Ould pair you've got on.v
A Hartford editor, having twitted
!. an editor Of neighboring city with
being bald, subsequently apologized
aisdI explained that $50 long as the
man can teld his ears over the top u
his head, he doesn't need his hair, any
how
A few days since the Marshal q,
Milwaukee received Telegram direct
ing him to arrest " u grl with grerI
dyess 0n.r He followed bis too gene
raj INSTRUCTIONS By arresting twenty
two Of them, aud then did not yet th
right one. ~
What he knows about dairy farm
ing In thus announced BY m0<ler
. niikman: Stake ofi az much crexf
\ and put in as much water as you dart
!. and the bolder your operations th
more money you will make. This
: watering stock with ~ quick return
: A yonng woman, whose fathers -
: atial residence is situated on One I
d the principal streets Of Misso,,ris cal
ital, recently in the space 81 sing
twenty hours, managed with0s
. discovery, to get lerself engaged [
's eight different men, and told them 4
is to come ut the same time the next ds
is TO obtain her fathers blessing on the
union. They ail did 70; and Il