The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-06-13
Keepin q Post once.

From the earliest period of my reccollee
ion I've had i desire to keep post-offlee,
have the r. O. keep me; I flidnt care q 90
tinental which. For years have toiled. il
the s.posisI,' Of r. NJ, and last week 50
ceeded. But new write after my name, &,
r. NJ.
I'll tell you how it came about. The pos
G master here resigned, and. with the aid of
|. graveyard recommendation, I succeeded hin
Its nobody's business if did rob the toni
stones for names for my petition; aud / can
J see why the relatives Of the defnnct char
WON'T quit throwing it up to fellow.
Well, { wrote e. III. after my name. Mr..
Lipmuck embraced me with the tendernes
OF sie-bear when rushed into the reoT
!, waving my petition over my head, and m
appointment btought on sundry other hugs
Twas happy man.
i Mrs. Il. and sat up till midnight. writin,
i my name with r. NJ. after it. Oh, it locke,
grandly. wouldn't have snapped fol-, Pres.
Ill. d., or A.. gR. The next day entered
upon the discharge Of my duties, and yester
day Uncle Samuel discharged me.
Immediately upon his successor (which
| was me) being qualified, the exp. nj. left
and was left alone. The mail came, and
distributed ii thus wise: Ny motto has nj
ways been, First come, first served, y and
acted upon it to the best OF my knowledge.
gave a letter to each caller us long as they
lasted, and then commenced on the papers.
Wife said the thing would act like charm.
Under the old regime some people never got
a letter, while now the first person in the
office, after the distribution OF the mail,
would get the biggest, latest letter that
came.
The idea was original, and prided myself
on it's invention. The Lipmuek brain was
ever.
The morning following mail day, lett
my house for the post offlce-The attain
ment Of long cherished ambition. As 4
turned a corner discovered two well known
citizens about to lest the virtue in clenched
hands.
Il never wrote letter to your wife, voci-
ferated one.
You lie!'' yelled the other; ..your letter
yesterday was handed me. My wife is in
birmingham, and wrote a sweet letter to you.
Lfpmnck's noble motto of First come, first
served placed it in my shands''-and mo-
ment later at it they went.
hurried on.
If had just entered the p. o., when woman
entered the building,
"You vii AIM" she yelled, Knocking my
hat to the floor, and bnrying her eagle talons
inmy hair. you gave my letter to Mrs.
Fastongue. che biggest old slanderer in town.
And she's telling everywhere that I've been
writing to a married man,
Well. Inow can't boast of as much hair as
| could a week ago.
Scarcely had my prosecutor left when
crowd rushed into the office. The Metho-
dist preacher headed it. | think lie swore
as he crossed the threshold.
'''Villainl" he yelled, .'you gave Bird Lyre
Dnr 81 my letters, and he's blowing every
where that I've got a vile in New York and
another in Maine.''
XIII him! kill hiln!'' yelled those behind |
hinl. |
saw a dozen fists and clubs nearing me. |
md retreated. |
Hang the scoundrel!'' cried the women,
md feared the command would be execu= |
ed.
went through the window, and now I'm
n another town.
Pm an exp. M. now. and chap whose
MOTTO amt First come, first served,'' stands
It the goal of my late ambition.
MY brie:e P. M.-ship has not been unpro-
Iuctive OF results. That II. E. preacher has
eft his charge and New York woman is
uniting him. Twenty-six divorces stare our
ext court in the face, and, through my brief
ffical career, nine men walk on crutches,
nd four women Rave spoiled faces
And {? Why, my Uranium Is hairless and
dare not go back to skulltown on penalty
fdeath. 4
Ny ambition is satisfied now. and have
that mdttd, '.First come, first
srvel.n It don't work in a post-office.
wouldn't be r. NJ. again tor all the BEN
inc in the world.
A hotel, to cost $40. 600. 900 is proposed in
llieago. It will be constructed entirely OF
ON, ten stories in height, and will covert
'ur entire blocks, with grand arches over
le intervening streets. Bazaars are to oc-
lpy the first story, and elevators at every
,fner. It is intended that the rates will b.
ON ST 10 $40 per diem. according to The
Org, so that people Of limited means, as
ell as those possessing wealth can be ac-
il elegant style.
A modest young lady at the table. desiring