davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09

RrSfossIOaal Wit.

Nothing wastes the powerofthe mind
more than a perpetual effort to say
funny things. Afew men like Hood
have succeededin writing wittily with
intermission. But they have been
people who had a substratum of seri-
Gus thought and feeling. No man
could feel more tender thanthe author
of the "Songs ofthe Shirt" Douglas
Jerrold made all the world laugh,
but he was much more than a wit, and
with Sidney Smith wit was only the
eferyescence of an intellect full of
thoughtfulness. But the people who
are ever ready to catch the first scent
Of a joke are an abomination. They
are the corsairs remuneration, bear
ing down upon every sentence freigh-
ted with thought, and endeavoring
to sink it with a pun. Thus, if You
talk Of funeral, such a man will
make it . funeral" and, ifyou are
terrified into silence he Will note the
pause and attribute it toa "pause-ity"
Of ideas. Ifyou mention musicians
he declares that the bass fellows
"sings solo that you can't hear a
word he says" and that he "would
treble his bank-notes, if he would sing
tenor a dozen notes higher" Per
haps the most melancholy effort to
be habitually funny is to be seen in
the comic papers Of this country and
England; we defy any one with
average intellect to read any one of
them straight through. Wit is noble
where it disperses the gloom of dc
preston, where it lightens cares, and
where it does not weaken the sense
of responsibility but the young man
who gives his days and nights to
crafty an ambition to be funny will
end by finding himself considered a
fool ans a bore.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
Passed May 10, A. D. 1871.

rrHE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
i Hill do Ordain:
SEorIoN I. An nd valorem tax Of hyo cents
upon each ono hundred dollars, In addition to
the amount Of one dollar and ffty cents upon
each one hundred dollars, levied BY Ordinance
No. 81, ofwhich ordinance this Is supplementary.
IL hereby levied and directed to be paid, for
school purposes, upon all property, both real
and personal, within the incorporate limits OF
the Town Of Gold Hill, made taxable by the
laws Of the State Of Nevada, for county purposes,
except the proceeds OF mines, which shall not
be subject TO taxation. Said tax Of five cents
IA and shall be held to BIO tho same as that M.
thorizcd to be levied and collected for school
purposes. by the Board OF Trustees OF the Town
Of Gold Hill, by an Act Of the Legislature OF the
State of Nevada, entitled An Act to Incorpo-
rate the Town Of Gold Hill" approved March 8,
A. D. ISL.
and collection OF the above levied tax OF i've
cents upon each one hundred dollars OF property
shall be In accordance with the provisions OF
Ordinance No. 81, Of which ordinance this is
supplementary.
SEc. 3. This ordinance ,ball take effect and
be In full force from and after Its passage.
NJ. STERN,
Pres't Board of Trustees Of Gold Hill.
Attest: WV. Hr. DoANE, Clork OF Board.
Gold Hill, May 20. 1871.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
APPLICATION FOR PATENT.
NOTICE NO. 1873.

TT 8. REGISTERS OFFICE. CARSON
". City, Ncvada. April s., lsT2.-Sotico Is
hereby given that the Luccrne Mining Company,
by W. L. Lowe, Superintendent and Managing
Agent, has this day nled In this Office a diagram
together with notice Of application for a patent
from the United States, under Act Of Congress,
approved July %, 1856, for nine hundred and
Gfty-seven (957l feet Of certain vein or lode OF
quartz or other rock in placer bearing gold, gil:
yer. copper, and other metals, commonly called
and known as the Luccrnc Lode and Lucerne
Company, situated In Gold IIill Mining District.
storey county, Nevada. Said claim II bounded
on the North by the Justice Independent Com
pany, and on tho south BY the 81. Louis Com
pany, and is more particularly described as fol.
ing Post No. 8 OF the Justice Independent
claim. U. ). Patent Survey. at which point
Quarter.Sectlon corner on the South line OF
Section 5, Township 10 N, Range 81 E., bears
North So degrees 80 minutes East 6SS feet,
thence running South IL East 9Ji feet to Post
No. 2. The lateral extent OF said lode IL I'M.
known, but II is bounded by end lines, one Of
which being the North line, commences at Post
No. ] and runs north 10 +. and south 10 W.: the
other Of which being the South line commences
at Post Ne. 2 and runs north 10 K. and south ~
W. From Developments made. the lode l.
shown In the open cut and tunnels Nos. and 9.
(shown on tho diagram). and these points are
recognized as being tho lodo upon which this
Company base their claim. The original loca.
ton Of this claim extended 373 eet northerly.
The Lucerne Company by making application
for Patont for the undisputed portion Of their
cllim do not rellnquish their rights to the said
3T3 feet
area Of four ~ acres. Said claim is more par.
tlcularly described in tho notice and diagram
APPS GOD AD0LPHUS Waltz. Register.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
$4,000 GOLD COIN.
I'm GIFTS,
Total amour. Of Gifts. $4,000

The Gifts will be awarded In q precisely sim
liar manner ~ at the Concert given by tho MGR
camille Library in San Francisco. The drawing
will DO under the management OF a COMMITTEES
Of well known, responsible CITIZENS OF VlR-
GINA CITY, TO be selected by Tho Audi
cncc Of tho day OF Drawing, for n
guarantee that the Glfts will DO fairly drawn.
We refer, by permission, to the following we'll
known citizens:
D. CAMERON. Capitalist.
T. WHEATON, Contractor.
Hon. II. HOWARD.
j. LARUE, Lumber Dealer.
j. GEISCHEN, Washington Brewery, Oak
land.
II. LEISE. Real Estate.
j o. CONN0RS, Real Estate.
L. b. HUFF. Real Estate.
j. M0FFATT, Real Estate.
]. BECHT, Capitalist.
A. FONTE, General Merchandise.
l. CASE, Real Estate.
Capt. 7. BADGER. Capitalist.
p. A. REMILLARD, Brick Manufacturer and
Contractor.
+. HoSTETTER, Cattle Dealer.
c. EVANS, Market.
WIN. HARRISON, Market.
j. McTIGUE, Merchant.
ADAM MUNK,
Secretary and business Mana ger,0
VIRGINIA, NEVADA.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
November 0. A. D. 1911
THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF COLI

THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
i Hill do Osdain:
SECTION l. Any person or persons who shall
deposit, o. cause 10 BIO deposited, upon any
street, allcy or public thoroughfaro, within tho
incorporate limits Of the Tswn Of Gold Hill,
any Glass. Bottles, Hoops, Nails, Ashes, or
committed a Nuisanee. and upon conviction
thereof before any Justice OF the Peace OF said
Town OF Gold Hill, shall be fined In any sum
not exceeding Fifty Dollars $50 nor less than
Ten Dollars ($l0), with costs Of suit; and unless
said finc be paid, such person or persons shall
be imprisoned In the Town Jail at the rate Of
one day for every two dollars Of said hnc. .
SEC. .. This Ordinance to take effect from
and after November Il, A. D. 1871.
D.. 1859 N. STERN,
ID. ,.I. President Of Board Of Trustees. e
Attest: VIZ. HY. DoASE, Clerk,
Gold Hill. November 6, 1851. no8tf "
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09

THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
i Hill do Ordain:
SECTION /. Any pcrson who shall discharre
any gun, pistol or any firearms whatever. loaded
with ~gunpOwder or any explosive substance
whatever, or shall discharge, burn or In any way
Roman candles, grasshoppers or any other Kind
OF fireworks whatever, within two hundred
yards OF any occupied house within the limits
Of the Town Of Gold Hill. shall be deemed guilty
OF disorderly conduct, and on conviction thereof
before any Justice Of the Peace OF the Town Of
Gold Hill. shall be fined In any sum not exceed
Ing twenty dollars, and imprisoned In the town
jail at the rate OF one day for every two dollars
OF said fine II the samc be not paid. TrT
SEC. 3. This ordinance shall taxi effect and
be In force from and after Its passage.
NJ. STERN.
President of Board OF Trustees.
Attest: VIZ. HY. DoANE, Clerk of Board.
Gold Hill, June 70, 1871. jell-tf
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
TOWN ORDINANCES.

iJnd or class. and tor each and every place or
stand in which he or she may be 90 engaged,
and 80 do, whether he be principal, agent, fAetof
or employee. -,
All the above licenses shall be paid in United
States gold coin.
SEC. Il. The arst quarter for the payment OF
licenses rs herein provided for shall commences
on the lst day OF April. A. d. 1877.
SEC. IL. Ordinance No. 80, entitled A Or:
dinance to fix and collect . license tax" passed
March sd. A.. D. 1860. and all ordinances
and parts OF ordinances, resolutions and bylaw
or parts thereof, in conflict with or repugnant 70
the provisions Of this Ordinance are hereby re-
repealed.
Pres't Of Board Of Trustees.
VIZ. Hr. DoASE, Clerk Of Board.
Gold Hill, juno II, 1871. Jel+u
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. 90.
An Ordinance AmendiaK Ordiaaneo
No. 81, Entitled IAN Ordiaaneo
to Fix md Collect n License Tax.n
Passed June 18th, 1871 passed
September 9th, A. ID. 1871.

THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
1 Hill do Ordain:
SECTION l.. The t~wcnty.sixth clause OF Sec
ton Ten OF Ordinance No. 6S, relating 10 Job,
express wagons, and drays, ia hereby amended
70 as to read rs follows, to-wit: For each Job
or express wagon, or dray, hauling or carrying
goods or property Of any kind, except rock OF
ore from the miner, for hire, drawn by ono or
more animals, per quarter, In advance, ten dol
lars (Sl9. And every person who ehall take
or haul Tor hire any goods. chaitles, or property
whatsoever, except rock or ore from the mines,
from any point within the Town Of Gold Hill
TO any other point within tho said town, or
from any point within the Town Of Gold Hill
TO any point outside OF the incorporate limits
OF the said town, or from any point outside OF
the Incorporate limits Of the raid town, to any
point within the raid limits OF the Town Of
Gold Hill, shall be subject to the license herein
provided, and 20 SUBJECT whether he be owner,
agent or employer. :
SEC. .. This Ordinance to take effect and
be In force from and after the 18th day OF Sep.
TENDER, A. D.. 1871. #sns
N. STERN,
President Of the Board.
Attest: WIZ HI. DoANB. Clerk. % = 20
Gold Hill, September 9TH, lS7l. se7.tf q
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
Passed October 10, ls71.l

Passed October 10, 1s71.j
THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
i Hill do Ordaln:
SECTION !. The 10Th and Goth clauses OF Sec
t!on 10 Of said Ordinance No. SO, relating to.
peddling, are hereby amended 20 as to exempt
the peddling. OF vegetables raised in tho Stale
Of Nevada from taxation. IHT %
SEC. >. Section , Of Ordinance No. & 10
hereby repealed.
SEC. 3. This Ordinance to take effect and DO
In force from and after this date. "
N. STERN,
President OF Board Of Trustees.
Attest: VIZ. HY. DoANE, Clerk,
Gold Hill, October 10, 1871. ocl7 n
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
CONSULTATIONS BrLrrrEEo OR OTHERWISE ,ynEE

CONSULTATIONS fLETrEh oh ofnbhnisE,fhhh
THIS CELEBRATED INSTITUTE HAS
L enjoyed on this coast an uninterrupted sue
cess OF eighteen years, and has become one Of
the renowned Hospitals OF the age. What the
celebrated Lock Hospital IL 10 London, and the
no less renowned establishment OF Ricord Is to
Paris, this Institute has become TO the Pacific
Coast. The thousands annually received and
cured at this place Is in point OF number OF pa.
tients among the very 1rst OF the world, and
the SUCCESS Of its treatment ranks 1t second to
none.
seminal Weakness or SpermatorrhGh.
The young man who experiences that growing
weakness In his muscular and mental orXaniZa-
ton, should stop 10 consider whence II arises.
He will lind In the weakness OF the back, trcmb.
ling OF the limbs, disordercd digestion. unac.
countable falling OF the powers ol tho mind,
distas,e for society, dread OF impending trouble,
rorebodings OF evil. slceplcssness, troubled and
lasclyious dreams, growing deafness, loss OF
muscular power, and numerous other symptoms
of disqualification, the positive traces Of that
most terrible and destructive OF all Diseases
Seminal Misunderstanding AWAY his powers,
destroying his hopes OF life and manhood, and
dragging him along the broker path of his cS'
istcnce toward premature and loathsOme gravel
To him who finds his life dribbllng out IN the
discharge of the vital principle Of existence IN
nocturnal and diurnal emissions, the mere ces.
sation of It's appearance brings no assurance OF
relief. q,
Marriage, that holy office, that safeguard and
hope Of manhood, brings to such a ono no hope
of cure, but adds to his misery in the knowledge
that the one who looks TO him for 80 much OF
her happiness, is q victim to his evil. and IN In.
nocent companion to his punishment. He addt
to his misery and disorder until hope leaves
him. There Is no rescue except In proper and
skillful treatment. Those who have become the
victims of solitary vices, that dreadful, fasci.
Mating and destructive habit, which fills thou.
sands Of sick rooms with paralytics and con.
sumptives, and hundreds Of uDtlmely graves
with its misguided victims, should consult with.
ont a momcnt's delay, one who will sympathize
with their suiferings. To such the Doctor would
especially address himself, giving to each and all
assurance of a PERFECT and PERMANENT
CURE, without hindrancc to business, change
of dict, or fear Of exposure.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
Important 10 Females.

When q fcmale Is In trouble or afflicted with
disease, md requires medical or surgical assist.
ancc, the inquiry should be, where Is there 0
physician who IL fully competent to administer
relief, and whose respectable standing In society
recommends him to the confidence OF tho com.
munity: The Doctor, understanding how i'm.
pcrativcly necessary these requirements are,
feels called upon to intcrposc, and beg the atten'
ton OF the afflicted to the fact that he has been
a Professor OF 0bstretics and Fcmal Disease,
for twenty years, and IL fully qualified to admin.
lister In all cases, both incidentally and sargical.
iy, not In a superficial manner, but In as thor.
ough q n manner az years OF study and practice
both in hospitals and private farnilics-caD
make, to save them from the hands OF the I'm.
qualified, INSCRIPTIONS and designing. There.
fore families can rely upon him AZ upon father.
All In a%fiiction can anG in him one who will
sympathize with and belriend them In trouble
one IN whose secrecy the utmost confidence can
be placed. Consultation by letter or otherwise.
FREE. See address below.
Ladies', the nature OF whose troubleR require
the constant attention OF the Doctor, can be fur.
uished with apartments, and skillml and atten.
tive nurses.
OOicc for the sale OF DR.. Young's PREVENT.
ATryE POWDERS, for married ladies. These
Powders are perfectly safe and effective Price,
BIO per boy. One box will last from four to ak
months.
DIR. YouHa's FRgNoH LUNAR, on FEMALE
MONTHLY PILLS, for the removal OF oil obstruc.
lions. Price, s.. Either kind sent by mail upon
receipt OF price.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. SO.
AN ORDINANCE to Fix and Collect n
License Tax.
Passed june -, A. D. ls71.l
n,uE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD

NlIE BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF GOLD
Hill do ordain:
SECTION I. No person or persons, hrm or as
sociation shall, within the incorporate limits Of
Inc town OF Gold Hill, be allowed to pursue any
calling, trade or profession, or transact any busl-
have taken out q license therefor and paid for
the same as Is hereinafter provided, and for any
violation ofthis ordinance the party 70 offending
shall, on conviction before any Justice OF the
Peace OF the town Of Gold Hill, DO fined In any
sum not greater than Ave hundred dollars and
not less than thirty dollars, and II such fine be
not paid, such person or resons shall be I'm.
prisoned In the town Jail at The rate OF one day
Tor every two dohlars Of said 6nS.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. 60.

AN ORDINANCE Amcndutory Of asd
Supplementary TO Ordinance No. 63,
entitled "Au Ordinance 10 Fix and
Collect n License rnx.D pissed June
IL, A. ID. 1871.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. 90.

AN ORDINANCE supplementary to Or.
diunnce No. IS, entitled An Ordinanco
g Determining what are N%uIsanccs, and
to Prevent n Punish the same,n
passed August 10, A. ID. 1867.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
NO. e..
Passed June, A. D. 70, 18TH

AN ORDINANCE to Regulate the uss Of
Fireworks and Firearms in the Tswn
of Gold Hill.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09

eB- Tickets In the above Lottery can DO had
at the Jewelry Stores OF W. T. EAVES and
TE0S. KENT, c street. Virginia. and at Club
BUCK i wELTON'S Post Onlce), Gold Hill,
Nevada. fe20 I'd
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
Tho Necessity OF a Walt Overcome.

The Necessity Of n Walt Overcome.
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Patients residing In any part OF the State,
nowevcr distant, who may desire medical advice
on their respective cases, and who think proper
to submit q written statement Of such In prefer.
ence to holding u personal interview, are assured
that their communication viii be held most
sacred, and the cure guaranteed.
All letters must be addressed to the CORE,
spending physician, thus:
BENZ. +. JOSSELYN, NJ. D.,
fBox 1851 81S Sacramento street,
Between Montgomery and kcarny,.
de1i.7O.lyis San Francisco. Cal.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. 81.

AN ORDINANCE Amending Ordinance
No. %, entitled Gan Ordinance to Pix
md Collect n License Tax,n passed
June ~, A. ID. 1871.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
POLL TAXES.
OFFICE OF THE COUNTY, ASSESSOR,
Storey County, New.

N1oTICB IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE
IN POLL TAX for the year 1872 is NOW
DUE AND PAYABLE to tho COUNTY AS
SCISSOR.
By the Act OF March 4, 1867, all Corporations
or individuals having persons in their employ
arc held rcsponsibio for their Poll
ana n A NJ. KRuTTSCHNITT. Assessor.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
To MILLMEN !!

WE HAVE FOR SALE AT THE GOLD
w Hill NEWS Office h.lf q ton Of superior
Minis. Hoisting Works, etc. Will be sold at re-
duced prlces for cash.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
p. Il. COVERT.

LOCAL AGENT,
Office at vanslckle's Stables, on the Divide,
Virginia, Nevada.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
THE EVENING NEWS

MINING AND STOCK TABLE,
Shewias ths nanbsr effect and shares in
the ~DrinclDal Mines dealt In AZ the san
RrAneiscs Stock aad Exchange Board.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ORDINANCE NO. o..

AN ORDINANCE Supplementary. to Or
dinance. No. 81, entitled" An Ordinance
or Taxes In tho Town Of Gold Hill,o
passed April -, A. ID. 1871.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09
ESTATE Of H. Il. FLAGS.
Notice to All Claimants or Holders
Of Indebicdnes. against snid Is

THE ASsIGNEEs HEREBY GIVE NOTICE
L that all claims or demands in any form
against tho Estate OF II. II. FLAGG, not al
ready proven. must DO presented to the under
signed on or befoae the THIRTIETH day OF
April next, 1T latest. or they win be rejected.
Ii. HUGUET, for Asslgnecs.
- At Agency Bank Of California, in Gold
Hill, from 12 10 I o'clock every day.
Gold Hill, March Z. 1871. mari I'd
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1872-04-09

AN ORDINANCE to Provide for the Lew
and Collection Of Taxes In the Town
Of Gold Hill, passed April -, A. d.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-04-26

GOOD ADvICE.-We were sitting with
Horace one afternoon, says Don Piatt,
In that little disreputable sanctum Of
his adjoining the counting-room of the
Tribune. The old gentleman was in
one of his chronic conditions of grumble
and discomfort. He had that mealy ap-
pearance so common to him, that made
him resemble a blonde miller fresh from
the dust of his -four mill, and was ex-
pressing his private opinion in a public
and somewhat profane way, when a
colored gentleman was announced. "Let
him come in," roared the philosopher,
and an aged darkey, clad in broadcloth
gold trimmed spectscles, and a cane
headed with the same precious metal,
stalked in.
sinister Greeley, believer" he In
quired.
"Yes, I'm Mister Greeley; what do
you want ?" was the gruff response.
"Well, sah," said old Ebony Specks,
seating himself as he deposited his hat
and cane on the floor-"Well, sab, I've
been thinkin' that our race don't pay
enough attention to scientific pursuits,
sah."
We saw the cloud gather on the in
tellectual countenance of the great
journalistic Bohemian. 1t broke in
thunder ut that point. In voice
wherein were blended the shrill tones
of hysterical woman and the growl of
tiger, he exclaimed:
Scientific pursuits! you old fool
You want a hoe handle and patch Of
New Jersey-that's the scientific pur-
suits you want. Get out!"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-04-26

The late Elder John Smith, OF Ken
lucky, who died recently at an advan.
ced age, was one of the most eccentric
wits south of the Ohio river, and true
gentleman. He was familiarity known
throughout Kentucky and the West by
the sobriquet of "Raccoon Smith,"
While still in the Baptist ministry and
attending one of the annual meetings
Of the body, tall, lank, green speci-
men of humanity presented himself be-
fore the Association as a candidate for
the ministry. He was regarded as being
not entirely of sound mind, and labor
ed under the hallucination that he was
especially "called to preach" and kept
constantly importuning the association
to grant him the necessary license. In
addition to his partially unbalanced
mind, young Weeks was the possessor
of as huge and ungainly a pair of feet
as ever trod shoe leather. Tired of his
opportunities, and not being disposed
to grant the license, the Association
handed him over to Smith, with in
structions to make an end of the case,
and between them took place the fol-
lowing conversation
= Smith-"So Brother Weeks, you
think you have a splendid call to
preach?"
Weeks-"Yes, the Lord has called
me to the work, but the Association re-
fuses the license"
smith-"How do you know that you
are called ?".
Weeks" Know il? feel it in my
heart of hearts. want my license"
Smith" Do you believe the Bible,
Brother Weeks?"
Weeks-"Certainly do, every word
of it,"
Smith-"Well, if can prove by the
Bible that you are not called to preach,
will you be satisfied to drop the matter
nor further importune the Association
for license?"
Brother Weeks assented to this, and
"Raccoon Smith" deliberately opened
the New Testament al Romans, x, Is,
and in grave tone read:
"How beautiful are the feet of them
that preach the gospel of peace" etcN
then glancing at Weeks large feet, re-
marked:
"You see, Brother Weeks, that the
feet of the preacher are beautiful; you,
sir, have the most monstrous ugly feet
of any man in the State of Kentucky +;
therefore, by this Bible, it is clear that
you have not been especially called"
AS Smith finished his remarks, the
entire Association went Off in a parok.
ysm of laughter, and Weeks, really
concluding that he had not been "call-
ed" bolted from the meeting house,
and never afterward annoyed the AS
sociation for license"