Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-11-28

observed crowd OF i've or six thousand
people in front of it, struggling to gel
into the door. Climbing a tee, be
overlooked the crowd, and could see
within the office the clerks selling papers
as fast as they could handle them, while
the mob pushed and .jammed and yelled
in frantic efforts to obtain. copies-the
presses in the cellar meanwhile clang
ing away like mad. Upon the curb
stone in front of him there was a line
stretching down the street four squares
each man engaged in reading the Morn
ing Glory with an earnestness that Mr.
OFT had never before seen displayed by
the patrons of that sheet. The bard
touched a sympathetic chord in the
popular heart, or that an appalling dis
aster had occurred in some quarter. oi
the globe.
He went around to the back of the
Office, and assembled to the editorial
rooms. AS he approached the sanctum
loud voices were heard within. Mr.. Ott
determined TO ascertain the cause be
fore entering. He obtained a chair, and
placing it by the side door, he mounted,
and peeped over the door through the
transom. There sat J. Alfred Brimmer,
holding the Morning Glory in both hands,
while the fringe which grew in semi.
circle around the edge of his bald head
stood straight out, until he seemed to
resemble gigantic gun-swab. Two or
three persons stood in front of him, in
threatening attitudes. OFT heard one
| of them say:
"My name is McGlue, William
McGluei- / am a brother of the late
Alexander McGIue. 1 picked up your
paper this morning and perceived an
outrageous insult to my deceased rela-
tive, and l have come around to demand,
sir, what do you mean by the following
infamous language?
The desth- angel smote Alexander McG:ue.
He savs psEr snd Nine hoe
Ne doub, he is h:gpier dwelling in space.
His aPa nf sSat lis
j.. Precisely at a quarter past four
This is simply diabolicalI My late
brother had no wart upon his nose, sir.
He had upon his nose neither pink
wart, nor a green wart, nor cream
colored wart, nor a wart of any other
color. 1t is slander. 1t is a gratuit-
GUS insult to my family, and l distinctly
want you to say achat you nl~an by such
conduct p
"Really, sir" said Brimmer, ait is a
mistake. This is the horrible work of
an incendiary miscreant, whom 1 trusted
as brother. He shall be punished by
my own hand for this outrage. A pink
wartl Awful, sir-awful The miser-
able scoundrel shall suffer for this-he
shall, indeed" !"
4" How could l know" murmured OFT,
hadn't pink wart2 used to know a
man named McGlue, and he had one,
and l thought all the McGlues had.
This comes of Irregularities in families"
&c And who,'' said another man, ad-
dressing the editor, " authorized you
to print this hideous stuff about my de-
ceased son 4? Do you mean to say that
it was not with your authority thatyour
low comedian inserted with my adver-
tisement the following scandalous bur-
lesque? Listen to this:
" Willie had a purple monkey climbing on yellow.
And when he sucked the paint all off, it made him
And latest hours he clasped that monkey in his
And bid goodbye to earth and went into better
Oil No he'll shoot his sister with his lit lie
Aud NO more 6e'ii twist the pussys tail. and make
he. SoT III for fun .r.,sb. the
The neakSy doesn. jump around since little Willie
"The utterly atrocious character of this
balderdash will appear when I say that
William was twenty years old that he
never had a purple monkey on stick
that he never sucked such thing that
he never fooled with cats, and that he
died of liver complaint"
Infamous - utterly infamous -
groaned the editor, as he cast his eyes
over the lines. "And the wretch who
did this still livesl 1t is too much ~
"And yet," whispered OFT to aim
self, I" he told me to tighten the gloom
and to cheer the afflicted family with
the reso trees of my art; and certainly
thought the idea about the monkey
would have the effect somehow. 1t is
Just then there was a knock at the
door, and woman entered, crying.
care you the editor p she inquired of
Brimmer.
Brimmer said he was.
W-w-well," she said, in voice bro
ken by sobs, "wh-what " dye mean by
this kind OF poetry ab-bout
m-my Johnny? M-my name is Sm-
Smith, and wh-when l looked this
for the notice of Johnny's
ddeath in y-your paper, l saw this aw-
full, wicked, wicked v-verse:
"' Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith
They bli.t and they bled him;
With fquills and anti billions pills
And ipec they fed him.
They stirred him up with calomel,
And tried to move his liver;
But all in vain-his little soul
Was waited o'er the River"
It's false false! that's what it is.
Johnny only had one doctor. And
they didn't try to m-m-move his liver,
and they didn't bl-bleed him and b-blis-
ter him. It's wicked falshood, and
you're hard-hearted brute flor print
ing it'll"
Madam, l shall go crazy if you con-
tinue," exclaimed Brimmer. "This is
not my work. 1t is the work of a SER
pent whom warmed in my bosom, and
whom l will slay with my own hand as
soon as he comes in. Madam, the mis-
orable outcast shall die |"
"Strange - strange!" unused Ott.
" And this man told me to combine ele-
waiting sentiment with practical infor-
nation. If the information concerning
the squills and ipecac is not practical, |
have misunderstood the use of that
word. And ifyoung Smith didn' have
four doctors it was an outrage. He
ought to have had them, and they
ought to have excited his liver. Thus
it is," thought OFT, "that human life is
sacrificed to carclessness."
At this .juncture the Sheriff entered,
his brow clothed with thunder. He