Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1872-01-11
Odds and Ends.

! Whenmen speak of human nature they
Invariably mean the dark side of human
character.
| me naadsouest style of pocket books
'or iadies are OF seal skin with Gilt ion.
clasp and chain Wv" III 'oP'
| contemporary, i'll the course Of
description OF Alexis, SAYS he d. .,ho IL
BILE son OF grandsire.
Mrs. Partington SAYS she does wish
they would hurry up and pass the silver
service bill in Washington.
Why is minister near the end OF his
sermon like ragged urchin? Because
he's toward (tor'dD his close CLOTHES.
a Connecticut woman's grief for her
husbands death is said to have been in
creased by the thought that the parlor
curtains were in the wash.
An Italian newspaper lamcnts that
| alter the liberal subscriptions made
| there Tor monument TO Garibaldi, that
agitator will not take the hint.
\ greenhorn was offered, al d public
liable plate of macaroni soup, but de-
| cllned 1t, declaring that they couldn't
play any billed pipe stems on him.
| Mrs Partington tells ofa minister who
had served the Lord for thirty wears
! hrst ~ circus-ridcr, then as locust
preacher, and last as an exhauster.'
a tough old wdower, in response to
| q neighhor who addressed words Of COM
tort to him. replied "Wall, YES. | shall
miss her-she was very expensive wo-
I man.
a drunken man, sprawlling on the
| ground IN Patterson the other night,
anNiously wanted 10 know whether ANY
body else had been struck BY that earth
| quake"
An Oil gent put quetus upon
Young man who chaiied him about his
bald head IN these words Young man,
when my head gets as sottas yours can
raise hair to Seil.
An lrishman, fresh from the Emerald
Isle, upon seeing i horse running away,
exclaimed, On he Isn't running very
fast; We seen horse run 80 fast thai
you couldn't see him
y proud aud loving Missouri father
IA setting forth the Accomplishment, OF
III. daughter, said she could .cycryla,t-
inEiy Iaw ivory and howl, and could
paw washboard like a mule
'po You keep matche,?' asked A WAC
oi llawley grocer Oh YES. Nh kinds.
was the reply. Well, III take the trot-
ting match said the wag. Tn eoro.,r
immediately handed him a box of pill,.
Well. Pat, Jim Didn't quite Kill YOU
with that brick bat, did he.
No; but wish he had
What .ior:'
80 could 4 seen him hung, the vii
lain.
An enthusiastic gentleman uho lad
spent de winter in .Jamakv found il an
earthly paradise. He said he could lie
abed and putting his arms out dc windy,
PICK oranges, pine-apples and ,Jamaca
rum right of de trees
n faris paper, aIiuuins to .Lo Ch;es-
go catastrophe. and desiring to impress
its reader, with the grandeur of the
great lakes, say, that the artificial pei
ce' ot water in the Bois de Beuloone
can only give them faint idea of the
Lakes Huron and SUPERIOR
IL y the style nowadays, when an en-
saSemcnt Is broken OF, tor tile lady not
10 return the presents given her by her
.HdHcee, or even the engagement rinp.
which i Kept a. an Indian keeps a scalp
- A. trophy Of former victories.
y Mount Vernon fivc-year-older hear
ing his mother remark in company that
she usually found her first impression OF
people 10 be correct ones. called al the
top OF his voice. Mamma, what was
Your hr,t prcs-ions when YOU first seen
me; The subject was dropped.
The Archbishop OF York displayed hi,
Ihr-tian mu.cularity the other dav by
:.!lShtmS from hi, carriage on the pub
he highway and helping ctxricate a
cart suck IN the mud. Ills Grace,
clothes were somewhat the worse tor Tie
operation, bat his muscle was first
class.
lady promised to give her maid s25
~ marriage portion. The girl got
married 10 man Of low stature, and
hcr mistress, on seeing him, was sur
prised and said, Well Mary, what a
httle husband YOU have gotn Lar cx-
claimed the girl, what could Won expect
| Tor SO
y negro waite, who had twice awak-
| cncd traveller To inform him that
breakfast was ready, and Il third time
broke ms siumbers by attempting to
| pun oil the bedclothcs. thus explained:
Ma>>a, II YOU isn't gwine to git up, |
mus iLab dc sheet anhow, case dey re
waiting for de table-cloe..'
| tibet stole the ovcrcoat OF one Of the
/ reporter. on the Cincinnati gazette last
week. The paper announced the fact
together with the information that the
| owner OF the garment was lust recover
ing from an attack of smallpox Of the
! most malignant type. IL is to be feared
the ruse oi the .despoiled reporter will
| prove to be TOO thin.
hat Is Your consolation in life and
death. asked clergyman of IA youn"
| miss in a BIZ lie class that he was chate-
| chisiHg. The Young lady blushed, hes
| itated.
viii YOU not tell me- urged the cler-
| gyman,
| i don't want To tell his name said
| the ingenious girl, but I've no obicc-
tian to telling you where he lives
An elderly gentleman was recently
.coniidenced' on train running into
| heoknA by sharpers, who induced him
| 70 buy draft (worthless) Oh Buffalo
bank Tor SloI 40, he paving them two
| 500 bills, and they paying him S42, 60
change. The conductor on the train
| took the first opportunity To quietly sug-
/ ge>t to the innocent old gentleman that
he was afraid the draft wa, a fraud.
| We'll, was the bland response OF the
lmperturbable old greeny, If it is an,
! bigger fraud than my two 800 notes
were, then | am not S43 ahead-which
I think | am. | am not in the habit of us
ing counterfeit currency, but | ALWAYS
| keep "a little OF that sort OF stuff about
me for the benefit of that sort OF Gus
/ toners.
In his Washington correspondence.
-Gath ilows over the rim in this style: F:
-Did you hear OF that chap who attended
the sale OF hotel recently at town in
/ OHIO! He hadn't a cent in his pocket.
7 but he Stood nm and hid holblV sruon -.