The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-02-01
.r.,,,,,. rtrst Lecture.

| 80 onticirntion. ] shoWeu IL W oI nv,
o.;onds hit they all shook their heads. my
mid nobody would come to hear me, anu ,
would make humiliating failure OF IL. i, ~.
said that as I had never spoken I'D pupil up,.u
wo,,ld break down in the delivery, ahyno"
was disconsolate now. But at last an eui. ~
slammed me on the back and tolo ins "
| ahead.o He said, "Take the largest housu ~ :,
town, and charge dollar ticket" Inc ta, a
city ofthe proposition was charmlngi a.se now
f.aught with practical worldly "lsu1, tho n
ever. The proprietor of the severn ,,;rh t hav,
endorsed the advice, and said miShI 40
his handsome new opcra-house Ut liasi r 100,
| fifty dollars. In sheer desperation n +i,re,
ton credit, for sufficient reasons; =" ,,.nrtI
dsys did hundred and NIFTY ooiI'ia ,,.a wi" N,
of printing and advertising, anu ,otnra y,
most distressed and frightened cie1u' ,,,hl
the Pacific coast. / could not SiISp n othe,
could under such circumstances. 49, limo n
neonlc there was Righteousness III :ne 18th =,
INV nosters. but to ME it was l'iilii'i'e "-''
nm. when l wrote 1t: :, r,a +rouhl,
"Doors open at = O'Clock. lne 'i0u'''
will begin at s." .o,.,.;oo since.
have even seen it appended 10 he"siapti i,
| advertisement, reminding school Pupi
vacation what time next term "9uiu W u,
| As those three days OF suspense oiI5s soli
! I grew more and more unhappy. L nsu ou.
two hundred tickets among my petsvr ,a
friends. but feared they mlsllt not colm, !,
NV lecture. which had seemed " hulloiouS ,.,
"a me at first, grew steadily more anu H 1oe.
dreary till not vestige OF 1un seenieu 90 e;,
and I grieved that l could not piNie i" c 49,
ON the stage and turn the thing lnto . iute
rol was so panic-strlchen III 'aSI 'n"v
went to three old friends, giants III ssa'.ue
cordial by nature and storHy-'oi'eu' CIV
said: c,;lpro. the
;o,.os - !, nrc so dim that nobody will cfci
zoo them. 7 would like to have you SIT III
the parouctte and help me through
Thnv said thew would. Then L went &c
Tho wife Of popular citizen, and said tilat u
Shc was willing to do me 4 very great kiiia'
moss 7 wonld be glad if she and her nus,
hond would sit prominently in the ieif-Gaha
.to'rc-boy where the whole house colilu see
thnm Irxplained that l should need help,
md wond turn towards her and smile, as
s;rnoI when I had been delivered OF an Oh.
sr1rrc iokc-"and them" answered, don't
wait TO Investigate, but respond"
She PROMISED. Down the street l met
man had never seen before. He had been
drinking. and was beaminG with smiles ana
GOOD nature. He said:
"My name is Sawyer. You don't know
mo INIT that don't matter. fshaven't got O
cent but if YOU knew how bad wanted to
laugh, you'd give me a tlchct. ooine' no"'
what do you say:o ,,
WTs vnIIr LAUGH hung on q hair-trl@@cr
that is. is it critical, or can it get OH easy
Ny drawing iniirmity OF speech 50 allcc,eo
him that he laughed specimen or TWO ti1'
struck meas being about the artlcic Wah,tu:
and T gave him ticket. and appointed hln
,n elf n the second circle in the centre and BIZ
resnousillr for that division Of the house.
cave him minute instructions about no" u
detect indistinct jokes, and then went away
and left him chucklins placidly over the no
vcIty Of the idea.
rnl Grys---I only suffered had advertised
lhat on the third day the Office would be
onpncd for the sale of reserved seats. creep
dawn to thc theatre at 4 in the afternoon tc
500 iCmv sales had been made. The ticket
.cIInr was cone. the box-otlice was locked
M. T had to swallow suddenly or my hear
,rould have rot ont. "No sales said II
myself Knight hive known it. thought
81; suicide. pretended illness, flight. thought
of these things in earnest, for l was very
miserable and. scared. But of course l hat
to drive them away, and prepare to meet ny
fate | could not wait for halt-past wanted
| to face the horror and end 1.-THE feeling O
MANY q r,au doomed to be hung, no doubt.
| went down back streets III 6 O'Clock, ana enter
cdlhc theatre hy the back door. lStumblct
| nv wav in the dark among the ranks ofcanvas
| scenery and stood on the stage. The house
was gloomy and silent, and It's emptiness
! decreasing. | went into the dark among tit
scenes again, and for an hour and hall gave
myself up to the horrors, wholly unconsclou
ofcyerythinc else. Then heard mlrmur
| It rose higher and higher, and ended III
! crash. mingled with cheers. 1t made my hal
| rise. il was so close to me and so LOUD. 1ner
was 4 pause, and then another; present..
came a third, and before well knew villa
I was about was in the middle of the stage
staring at sen of faces, bewildered by tn
| fierce glare of lights, and qlaking IN ever.
limb with q terror that seemed like to tax
nv life away. The house was full-aisle ant
all!
The tumult in my heart; and brain, ant
lees continued full minute before coult
| cain any command over myself. Then re
co~nizcd the charity and the friendliness il
the faces before me, and little by little m.
fright melted away and l began to talk
! Within three or four minutes was com
Portable and even content. My three chic
allies, with three auXiliarics, were Oh hand
| in the parquctte, all sitting together, al
armed with bludgeons, and all ready to make
| an onslaught upon the feeblcst joke tina
might show its head. And whenever Jok'
did fall their bludgeons came down and thei
! faces seemed to split from ear to ear. Saw
yer. whose hearty countenance was seen loom
ing redly in the centre Of the second circle
took it up and the house was carried hand
somely. Inferior jokes never Jared so royal.
before. Presently delivered a bit o
serious matter with impressive JUNCTION, Il
was my pet,) and the audience listened wit
an absorbed hush that gratitied me more thai
any applause and as / dropped the last wor'
of the clause happened to turn and cate
Mrs. IS intent and waiting eye; my con
versation with her flashed upon Inc, and il
spite Of I'LL l could do / smiled. She took
for the signal, and promptly delivered me
low laugh that touched off the whole aud
ence, and the explosion that followed was tn
triumph of the evening! | thought that tina
honest man Sawyer would choke himself
and as for the bludgeons, they pcrforme
like'pilc-driycrs. But my poor little morse
of pathos was ruined. 1t was taken in goo
faith rs an intentional Joke, and the prize on
of the entertainment; and wisely let it &
at that.
All the papers were kind in the morning
my appetite returned; | had abundance {
money. GAPS well that ends we'll"
Tue PHILOSOPHY OF TALK1NG.-They hay
a new term nowadays q am speaking
you, the reader,) for people that do goo