St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-06-07
Humorous.

Fashionable intelligence: Golden hair
has gone ont bat it is now worn plat
ed
An interior paper is puzzled to know
whether il is the arrival of the mails or
females that attracts young men to
post offices.
y fashion article i'll Il Wisconsin pat
per describes the suit of an Indian boy
five Years old. 1t consists of garter
tied around the left leg
''Grecley butter" is offered to the
public 10y kans;tS City grocer. who
takes that delicate way of intimating
that 1t Is not very strong.
The Atlanta sun has given the world
this maSterly attempt III Verse making {:
Mary had little Lamb
She had it i'll the garden
And every time il waggrd lis tail
1t spuilt her Dolly Warden.
One august senator who is getting Il
little bald, waS the other day asked 10y
his heir: Papa. are you still grow
ing No, dear, what makes you
think 50 > "BccauSe the top of Your
head is coming through your hair
Concerning the four insignificant re-
publican wecklic> palHdcd in the New
York Tribune as supporting Greeley
for President. an exchange mentions
the demise of one of them. and tunefll-
~ concludes:
-Four little s"rehead~
Sick a. they could he
Oue died of hunger
And then there were three
\ Yankee passing along the street
WAS painfully bitten 10y an ugly dog. a
single blow of ii heavy stick. skilltully
aimed. was sufficient to kill the animal
Instantly; but the enraged pedestrian
still continued to pummcl the corpse
till little VcStigc of canine form remain
ed. At length he was accoStrd with ::
Nv hat are ynu about ! That dog has
been dead these ten minutes. Il know
it. Was the reply: but | want to give
the beast ii realizing SENSE that there is
punishment after death"
y witness in court who had been eau
toned To give IL precise answer to every
question. and NOT ak about what he
thought the question meant. was inter
rogatcd a> follows: You drive wag-
on - No. sir. do not" "Why. sir.
did you not tell my learned friend 50
this moment - NO. sir. did not :"
Nov. sir. put il to YOU on your oath ::
do you drive ii wagon - NO. sir"
wv hat is Your occupation. then ," II
drive Il horse.
Two neighhorS living in Westchestcr
county had il long and emvcnomed liti-
CATION about il small spring. which they
both claimed. The Judge. wcaried out
with the ease. at last said: What is
the use of making so much fuss about IL
little water = Your honor will see
the u>c of it," replied one of the law
yrrS. ''whcm inform ynu that the par
ties are both milkmcu"' The roar of
laughter which followed proved that
thc entire audience SAW the point.
\ party of men animatcdlv engaged
in discussing politics before IL country
store. attracted the attention of an aged
agiirnltui>t. "There'S sumthin' the
matter here. he observed to his wife (;
and. drawing in his team. he lightly
shouted to Il con>umptivr imdiN idual on
the .out>kiIt>. Nv hats afout ," Twelve
inches" WAS the >ard"nic reply. The
aged a@licultli>t >Worc some and drove
ON.
1lclc never was Il Wit at the bar SO
ready Is Cmrram. Upon one occasion
hc had laid down some points which
did not find favor i'll the eyes of the
presiding Judge.
'.It that he the law" said Lord Clare
t" Curan. Il may as well burn my
books"
: "Brttcr read them, my lord" replied
CulTan.