The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-07-04
A SHORT TALK TO LITTLE
SHAVERS.
How 10 Behave on the Glorious
FouIth..About Torpedoes, Fire.
crackers. ChaseFs. and ttPunR, ~

FouTth.sAbout ToTpedoes, Fires
crackers, ehasers, and ssPnnk."
Prom Tuesdays i. J. worldly
The glorious Fourth" will soon be
here, boys, and no doubt you have been
hard at work for q week and more in
Publishing your arms-pistols, guns, can.
mons, aud all that sort Of thing-with
which you want 10 make q great hula.
bAloo when the great day shall arrive,
You have seen that picture In the win.
dows OF shops where fire works are sold,
representing little shaver wild with ex.
element, his legs dancing like mad, his
eyes sticking out Of his head with glee,
bis fingers iull Of powder. crackers, all
swapping and cracking at a great rate,
while seventeen.or twelve others are ex.
plodlng about his legs. He looked Jolly,
didn't he? Having lotsof fun, wasn't heH
Well, you just waill That picture Is an
exact colOred photograph of a young
friend OF the writer as he looked two
years ago on the morning oil the Fourth
OIL july Mind you 1t was In the morn.
tng when he looked 80; but you Rhould
have seen him In the evening. Flo was
the worse looking boy you ever saw.
On one hand he had only two fingers and
q thumb, and on. the other he had only
the little finger left. His nose was swell.
ed up aud blaCkened till 1t looked very
much like a colOred boys elbow; his hair
was sipged, and 1t smelled too much like
burnt horn to be pleasant; his poor little
legs had to be bound up in cotton and
sweet oil, and generally he. looked as Il
no had been blown up by the explosion
Of steAm.boiler. They wouldn't take
his picture as he looked lion and hang It
upin their windows. l should rather
think not 4
Now, look here, boys-meaning you
"large boys" who are in the Bible class at
Sunday school, and sometimes use the
money your fathers give you to put in the
contribution box in buying cigars which
makes you III, and lager beer that makes
you unfit for work-eYerybody knows that
some o! you have been Saving up"-thats
the way you put it-for some time, in
order to buy pistols and powder with
which you intend to raise Cain at four
O'Clock in the morning Of the great and
glorious Fourth, and II Is very well known
that about three hundred of you have
cannons, and intend to trot them out at
the same time. Remember that when
men go TO bed they commnoly take of
their boots, and some oil them have boot
jacks and big blocks Of wood in their
rooms. II such men happen to be irrita.
ble-if 1t is "touch and go" with them as
1t Is with your cannons-sOme OF you
may never live to sec the procession next
Thursday, for from bootjacks to death
there Is but the distance Of a second.story
window. Can't you wait till fellow has
had his breakfast, or atleast, till he comes
down stars to getit, before you make the
windows jingle with your pistols, guns
and cannons? Perhaps you can't, but II
you come bowling and yowling about q
certain house where certain bald. headed
old gentleman lives, you had better bring
a surgeon and coroner with you; that's
all. So
And another thing-it is going to be
frightfully warm on the Fourth, for Plan.
tamours comet has got pretty near the
earth now, and is said to have been seen
from some place in California; it is ex.
pected to knock the earth into cooked.
hat on August 70, in which case there
will be fireworks enough for some of you.
Now, seeing that 1t is to be so terribly
warm, look out for yourselves and don't
run around in the sun, and drink cold
lemonade and eat ice cream all day.
If you do so good many of you will be
sunstruck, and perhaps die in your youth
and beauty. Eat your breakfast, too, al.
though you may think you can hardly
spare the time, to do it; it is very bad for
the health to go out without something
in your stomachs in such weather US this,
and when your arms have been blown of
you will need all your strength to make
up for the loss Of blood which is sure to
follow. Don't let any big boys get you to
go out IN q sailboat, and then persuade
you to put the muzzle Of gun into the
water and fire 1.-THE gun, not the water
of. Ten chances to one tho gun will
burst In your hands and kill you. Don't
buy big fire. crackers that make noise
like pistol, for they are very dangerous,
as also arc "Union torpedoes." Speaking
OF torpedoes reminds one Of an evil habit
which some Of you, as well as some of your
sisters have contracted. On the Fourth a
great many large and bald-headed men
walk in the streets, and often take oil
their hats to wipe the perspiration from
their shiny pates, and then some of you
shy torpedoes from second.story windows
so as to hit the poor men plump on their
bald spots. You ought 10 be ashamed of
yourselves, Cbutyou are not; but you have
fair warning that il you try that expert
ment on certain bald-headed old gentle.
man he will march right into your house,
and after that will not answer for the
consequences. There are vicious boys
who sometimes get you little shayers to
hold powder.crackers in your teeth,
promising that if you dose they will give
you whole pack; they say they know
another fellow who held one in his ear
and 1t didn't hurt him." Don't believe a
word they say, for if- you hold cracker
OF that sort-it isn't soda cracker, mind
you-in your teeth, your eyes may. be put
ont, and certainly your shirtbos0ms will
be dirtied and your face covered with
burnt powder. Don't forget andput light
ed "punk" in your pockets, and never ut.
tempt TO blow on "sisser," which, you
know, is q flre,cracker broken in two.
Don't run away to SEQ the fireworks at
night, for you are little and will have no
show. You'll get wadded in between
two big men and two enormous women
in such away that you can neither see
nor escapc.l Better stay at home with
your, little sisters and watch the beautiful
rockets as they soar almost up To the
stars and burst with that lovely, mellow
sound, and send down showers OF scintil.
lating prismatic fire. Perhaps it may get
cool in the evening, and then you can
have your ice cream-not too much of it,
though-and go to bed, where you will
see soldiers marching along the wall and
fireworks shooting vaguely for five or
ten minutes, and then iall asleep and
dunbar 6raamin0lv fil1 pon xyolyo l., ~, n