Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-09-05
AD#RTEsINGRATEs
CHOW-CHOW,

received answers from eighteen hnn-
: dred and ninety-seven husbands. .savino,
he gould have theirs. This is Given a3
4 an illustration Of the value of adyertis-
Q ing. '-'
! An old lawyer says that the three
most troublesome clients he ever had
J were young woman who wanted TO
De married, married woman who
wanted to be unmarried, and old maid
who didn't know what she wanted.
r A Pekln (Tllinois) woman was asked
! 0y the preacher if her husband feared
} the Lord. She replied: ssFear binnP
: Why, bless you, he is so 'feard of Him
that he never goes out Of the house on
J sundays without taking his gun along.D
An Ohio boy has hoofed it thirteen
thousand miles tosee his girl, within
ltne past year, and has no intention of
popping the question for several wears
yet. She lis dearer than ever to his sole
now, having lately presented him with
his walking papers.
The baby oyster is not bigger than n
fair-sized pins head at the end of a
fortnight, and at three months only OF
the size OF asplit pea. In year he will
become as large as an ordinary half
i penny, and at the end of four years
growth he is fit for the market.
A piece Of bituminous coal lying on
some dry pine boards, against the side
OF building in Millport, N. Y, spon-
taneou5ly burst into flames oA one Of
the recent hot days. 1t had been ex-
posed to the rays OF the sun nearly all
day, the thermometer ranging from 100
to 100 degrees in the shade.
A reporter of the st. Louis Democrat
sounded Spotted Tail on the Crow uues-
ton. 8. T. responded: "Let my white
son hear me, The Great Spirit is wise.
Mama, the sheep, eats the grass. He-he,
the ass, eats the thistle. The red man
eats the partridge, Wanawan; he does
not eat crow, caw-caw. Ihave spoken.n
When Barnuni's cannfbaIs offered
one OF hespectators at the show last
night ten dollars il he would give them
his little boy on the half-shell for break
fast this morning, "My little boy is not
for SALE" replied thefond parent, "but
Eve got stalI-fed mother-in-law YOU
can have for half the money. Louis
Uille COurisr-.JostrndE.
A Newark family named Holloway
Attempted to punish four old daugh-
ter, on Thursday night, by holding her
mouth TO the spout of teakettle filled
with boiling water. The steam rushed
into the child's mouth, scaIding it SO
severely as to threaten fatal eonse-
Queues. .......-.',
Three hundred and fifty thousands
new head blocks are to be furnished for
the national cemeteries. Each block
is to be marked with the number of the
grave, the name of the soldier, the rank,
company, regiment, date, and place of
birth. Blocks for unknown soldiers will
be inscribed, unknown United States
soldiers"
The English national anthem, sGod
Save the King" was composed upon
the occasion Of the escape of James 1
from the Gunpowder Plot. The author
was born in SOmersetshire in 1868, and
died abroad, at Anvers, March 12, 1873.
He was named John Bull, and so great
was the popularity of the ode, that his
name has become thenickname gloried
in by his countrynen.
Anew England family passed through
Chicago the other day on their way to
Nebraska, with all their household
goods. They had chartered o freight
car for the entire distance for three hum
dred dollars, and provided themselves
for the journey, and there they were
comfortably enseOneed among their
possessions with none of the trouble Of
moving on their hands until theyshould
reach their new home
The Merrimack Journal gives this as
a specimen of the 'teoming obituary:"
"Died, in the thirty-fifsh year Of his
age, John Smith, husband Of the Hon.
Jane Smith, at her residence in Frank
lin, at six o'clock. Mr.. Smith was a
meek and quiet husband, beloved for
the graces of cultivated nature. He
excelled in the domestic virtues; as q
cook he was surpassed by few, as nurse
he was equaled By none"
Hon. Matt. 81. Carpenter publishes
the following card in the Milwaukee
Sentinel: ''The contents Of a large box,
about two bushels of law papers, private
correspondence, memoranda, account
books, &C., DC, the accumulation Of
many years, were stolen, a few days
since, from my Office. If the thiefwill
look them over, as soon rs convenient,
select such as he desires to retain, and
return the balance, it viii be a great
favor"
In jolly company each one was to
ask question; if it was answered, he
paid forfeit; or if he could not answer
TO himself, he paid q forfeit. Pats
question was, "How the little ground
squirrel digs his hole without showing
II. -. .E<x..k -
they all give up, Pat said. ''Sure, do
you see, he begins at the other end OF
the hole" One Of the rest exclaimed,
But how does he get there?" "Ab,"
said Pat, "that the question-can you
answer it yourself?"
The problem how to support family
Of nine persons on an income OF four
teen dollars week would be pretty
difhcult one for any one to solve, but an
man at Troy has had it pre-
sented to him in a peculiarly compli-
Gated form. His wife refuses to live
with him, and yet she wants four dol
lars week, and the Court has deter
mined that she must have $3.50. II
each member Of the family receives q
like share, what is to become of the poor
man himself? The goose that deposits
this very small golden egg would be
in imminent danger Of starving to
death.
A Michigan paper tells an amusing
story Of a minister of that State who
took an old fashioned sweat, and was
up in an old fashioned patch
quilt of many colors. In due course Of
time he walked up to find himself all
over spotted, blue, black and purple.
Believing that modification had al
ready set in, he began to settle up his
earthly accounts and prepare for his