The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-08-07

asked the handsome clerk. Syrup
syrup" repeated the bucolic fop, with
a stare and then leaning forward, he
impressively added: stranger, money
is no object to me to-day-you can put
sugar in them"
A young man went into a florists
store the other day to buy a rosebud
for his affianced. Seventy-five cents
was the price asked:
"Will it keep" Inquired the young
man.
ooh, yes, long while"
"Then you may Keep it." Exit
young man.
A very close-fsted old fellow, in
treating a friend to some liquor, pour
ed out very small drink. The latter,
taking the glass aud holding it above
his head, remarked very skeptically,
"You say this is forty years old ?"
Eyes, replied the host. "Then," re-
piled our friend, call l have to say is,
it is very small for its agel"
A humming bird flew into
court room in Georgia, during the
session of the court one day recently,
at 103 a. M, and continued to fly with
in few inches of the ceiling until G
p. m, when it fell slowly and alighted
on a mentel- piece, where it was cap
tured. 1t was on the wing seven and
a half hours without rest.
A prudent Kentucky father, with a
manageable daughter, found it inn
possible to keep the beaus from the
house, so lie furnished her with mu-
sic box which plays "Home, Sweet
Home" at 10 o'clock p. m, precisely.
The beaus are all gone, and the house
closed up in five minutes after.
A Paris journalist recently eneoun-
tered poor blind man playing clari-
onet in the street, whom he had for
merly seen doing the same thing in
St. Cloud. He asked him how he had
happened to change places. "Ah sir"
answered the blind man, ait made me
sad to look at the ruins of the war"
A Chicago female graduate has
written and recited long essay urging
the futiliy of using the pen or tongue,
and the infinite superiority of contin-
ing oneself to thought and deed. Very
well, but if such be her conviction
why did she indite and speak her es-
say?
The rising generation "age" rapidly
In Detroit. A mature specimen, eight
years old, was hunting about the po-
lice station the other night for stray
father. "You see," he remarked, With
tilial exultation, "the guy v'ner's little
wild yet, but he'll grow out of it"
An old writer has quantity said:
"God looks not at the oratory of our
prayers, how eloquent they are; nor
at their arithmetic, how many they
are nor at their logic, how methodical
they are but He looks at their sim
cerity, how spiritual they are."
ave have a span of horses, said an
economist the other day, "on our farm
that support themselves without any
cost" "Why, how is that ?" exclaim-
ed listener. "Why, you see," re-
marked the questioned, Zone is a saw
horse, and the other clothes horse"
81 hope you have no objection to
my getting weighed? ?" said a husband
to his wife. Certainly not, my dear;
but why do you ask the question ?"
"Only to see, my love, if you would
allow me to have my weigh for once"
A Detroit man, who had no ear for
music, confessed as much when he
frankly owned that eff / were the pro-
prietor of hand-organ, set expressly
to play old Hundred l couldn't get
over seventy-fve out of it,"
Two Irishmen once saw a red head
ed woodpecker pecking away at an
old stump. "Murther, Jenny p ex-
claimed one of them to his oompatriot,
'just look at you blurred; he's ham.
mered his head till it's all blaydinp
John Randolph met an enemy in
the street, one day, who refused to give
him half the sidewalk, saying that he
never turned out for rascal. 81 do"
said Randolph, stepping aside and
polltely hitting his hat, Pass on, sir"
They have a flower in Alameda,
CAL, called "Aaron's cup" which
measures two feet eight inches from
the base of the flower TO the tip of the
cup.
The Yosemite Valley is said to be
full of rattlesnakes, and the little
Snake Indians are said to use them
for rattles to cut their teeth on them.
The Colorado desert, by late rail.
road survey has been found to be in
places 200 feet below the level of the
sea. Scientists are in a quandary.
An Irish lecturer of note solemmy
said one evening. Parents, you may
have children or if you have not,
your daughters may have"
Col. Tom Scott, the Boston Post
thinks, has become greater than rail.
road kinp and IL tbarafopo loe..;l