Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-09-19
NASBY
The Great HumOris3s Latest Epistle
from Chappaqua.
He Goes to an Interior Village to
Organize TITAN Awkward
MIDDLE.
CHAPPAQUA (wieh is in the State Nv |

1t wuz determined by our resident commit
tee that it wood be a joodishus thing to do 10
hev the great and good Greeley go on toor
thro the State NV New Hampshire and Maine.
to enco rage the week and to sekoor the vas
silatin those States. opposed it, ez / he'd
he'd some experience with trips, hevin accom-
panied the immortal johnson on all Nv hizzen.
1 wuz overrooled, but they conceded to me
the arrangement Nv the toor, tho they took
control Nv the great and good man from the
start to its conclusion. They insisted that it
wood hev two good effects LIST, We should
dodge the frekent delegashuns wien affiict us
at Chappaqua; and, End, That the exhibition
Nv Horris wood hev good effeck on the roo
raj populis. 1 yieldid, and set about fifth
him for the journy. he'd very difficult job
to git the philosopher up properly for the oc-
cashen. took whetstun and rubbed the in
side Nv hiz rite hand for hours, till it per-
doosed SIGH calous spots onto it ez the most
horny-handed labrer in Vermont mite be proud
Nv, and instructed him that when shakin
hands with the yeomanry to grip hard that
there mite be no mistake ez to feelin them
callous spots on hiZ labor-hardened hands. l
then he'd him git out in the sun two hours
each day, with hiz face upturned, till he be-
come Drowned by exposure to the elemence
after wich l he'd badly filth SCOT NV close
made for him, that the people mite feel that
he he'd attempted to dress up on their account,
but that, after all he wuZn't accustomed to
so much grandyer.
| Then came the most difficult part Nv the out
| fittin biZnis, wich wuz to instruct him in wat
he shood say, but succeeded. / charged him
| espeshelly that he shood never menshun pol
htlx (ceptn that he mite now and then howl
mildly suthin about the era Nv good feelin).
and shood be speshely keerful to dodge all
| them pints out Nv wich offence mite come
1.-The toor," remarkt, is to be one Nv SEN
| timent. We are on a pilgrimage to the looms
Nv our ancestors we are goin to revisit the
| NV n111- a11l NJ
remembrances Nv our youthful days and SIGH
| and it must be confined strikly to that / hev
| arranged with our committees on the route to
| organize for Spontaneous outpourin Nv the
people to receive voc. and 700 must speek to
| EN- at each stoppin-place. Iwood recommend
| that your responses to the greetins be mostly
alloosions to the grandyer Nv the mouutins
and the purity Nv the air and water, and. above
all, don't forgit the mother biznis. Eff you
| Good ring in verbal pikter Nv yoor mother
yearnin for nooZe Nv her absent son, it wood
hev good effect. 700 needn't trot out yoor
| father, for fathers is played out. It's the
mother that teches the popular heart. And
700 must git yoor eyes in condishen to drop a
| sympathizin teer OF two eff occashen demands
| l hev done good things before now by weepin
perfoosely at the rite time"
| Thus prepared, the farIner-statesman left
the classic shades Nv Chappaqua.
The mint the procession he'd started onto
| its teor packt my valise with bottle, and
possibly shirt or two (tho l RELY forgit about
the latter, payin so little attenshun ez 1 do to
the mere luxuries Nv life), and started for an
interior village Nv Pennsylvany. where made
a speech last year. and consistently knowed
all the principal Demokrats. l put w at the
old familyer tavern, where the ticket knowed
to be good. he'd barely time to hist in three
or four slugs afore it wuz noised abroad that
WIZ there. In twenty minits a person APP
peared to interview me. He interdoost his
4 -.z1e T nm
| who he'd determined to vote for Honest Old
Horace. I askt him to drink, wich he did
and then went on. He wuZ disguised with the
corruption and rascality Nv the Republican
party, and felt that he must leave it, He
wanted puTity-he yearned for return tc
suthin beside office-seekin. Hence he he'd de-
cided to support Greeley. - But" resumed
he, 81 hev made sacrifices in this, and must
hev ashoorences. wuz an unsuccessful APP.
plicant for the Post Offs in this village under
Linkin, in 1861 then agin in 1865. succeed.
ed in gitten it Nv Johnson in 1866, when the
then incumbent wuZ dismist, and held it til
April, 1869, when the tyrant Grant dismissed
me and reappinted my predecessor and lef
+ me to languish all these years without offishe
!, position, and to subsist on the petty earnins
, Nv my wife, witch is a milliner. Eff Horris is
elected, kin / hev that offs? KIN contro
the Liberal vote Nv this county, sir. hold i
!, in the holier Nv my hand"
Say no more, sir" sed l. q fully appre
, shlate yoor poslshen. Nv course / kin max,
! no positive PROMISE but it is safe to saw sir
that the posishen shell be yoors. But tina
Libral Republican vote, sir, must be all polled
! We shell hold 700 responsible for it,
, He left the presence profoose Nv thanks
and took four more drinks, hand-runnin
Mr.. Slodgers hednt any more than got on
when another citizen entered and announced
: hisself ez Libral Republican, wich his nam
wuz Perkins. He wanted to be understood +
!. begin with. ez holdin the Libral Republics
vote IN his hand. He Good control it. With
: out his aid nothin Good be done with it. H
: created it, and he held it to-day. But he he
q made sacrifices. He he'd bin candidate 70
a Treasurer Nv the county reglerly from 1856 t
: date; but he'd alluz bin defeated-by fraud
j The last time he wuz defeated-by fraud-h
!, NEEDN'T but two votes in the county convention
|, his uncle and brother-in-law. He wuz dis
: gusted with the offis-seekin party, but Good
be ashoored Nv the Post Offs in the event u
:. Greeley's elecsken? He felt that eff he eve
q WIZ agoln to hev offs this wuz the time
He wanted that Post Offs from the time b
Sc wuz twenty-one years old. s. Without my IL
q flooence," sed he, 1.-THE Libral Republican
/ this visinity will be nothin I. sir, held thu
le vote IN the holler Nv my hand. Kin aey thu
!, offs ~
he'd taken two drinks while talkin to hi
% and wuz oblivius Nv everything that precede
r 1t. replied that NV course we coodn't NAL
3 promises now, but that he shood rest easy
x felt that there wood be nothin in the way Z
ii his appointment the Gipnit the Farmer NV Cha