Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1872-08-22

TAKING. COLD Stealing ice.
A WokD to the Wise-Remain so.
LONG Division-Separation for life.
COSTLY Habit-Dressing in fashion
WHAT is that which is cat. is like ;
cat, vet is not eat? A kitten.
Ir is impossible to say how many dog
days there are in year, became eOer!
dog has his day. aEcaH
~LET the toast be, dear woman" a
the man said to lis wife when he wanted
to eat it all himself.
WHEN may young ladies be said to be
economical? When they resort to tight
lacing to prevent waistJfulaess.
The man who was said to have died Of
Asiatic cholaer, died Of cholera morbus
says New York paper. What odds is
it to him.
81 WANT to know" said creditor
fercely' "when you are going to pay you
Why, you're pretty fellow! Do you
take me for prophetT r
Gan, Mr.. Simpkins. we have not chairs
for our company" said a gay wife to her
frugal husband. "Plenty of chairs, dear,
but too much company" replied Mr..
simpkins with = knowing wink
OLD Scotch lady-.Take snuff, sir p
Gentlemen with large nasal lrpfnohtory,
ind,gnantly)-''Do I look lilsea snufer p
Old lady-"Well, Gamma Tst say you
do. though maun say ye hae grand &C
commodations.
4 LITTLE boy was sent to store for
some eggs before he reached home he
dropped them. In answer to his mother.
who asked. "Did you break any?'' he
replied. '.Na, didn't break any, but the
shells came off from some of them."
A LITTLE four year beset his mother to
talk to him, aud say something funny.
Glow can IT, she asked ''don't you see
how busy / am baking these pies:'
"Well you might say, Charley. won't you
have a pie? That would be funny for
you ~ !,
DISCERNING child (who las heard
some remarks made by papa)-are you
our nurse? Nurse-Yes, dear. Child
Well, then, I'm one of these boys who
can only be managed by kindness; so you
had better get some sponge cake and
oranges at once.
"Po-AToEs :" cried darkey peddler
in Richmond. Hush dat racket-you
distracts de whole neighborhood," came
from colored woman in door way.
You kin hear me, kin you?' Hear
YOU I ki hear you mile" "Thank
God for dat-I'se following to be heard.
Tatoes ="
81 COME for that saw, sir" What sau>
r." "Why, the saw, sill, that yoa borrow
ed i borrowed no saucer" "Sure you
did, sir; you borrowed saw, sir. ." IL never
saw your saucer '.But you did /; there's
the saw, now, SIR "Oh. you want the
saw. Why didn't you say So"
EcoNoMY is an easy thing to decide
upon, but an uncomfortable thing to car
ry out, especially in household matters.
The planning is pleasant enough, but the
execution is what troubles us. We dis
like to forego the accustomed thingsxhish
economy denies US, and there is where the
shoe pinches.
FAME is no plant that grows on mortal
soil,
Nor in the glittering foil,
Set off to the world, nor in broad hu-
NOR lies:
But lives and spreads aloft by tho Sc pure
eyes,
And perfect witness of all Judging Jovc;
And he pronaunces lastly on each deed.
Of SO much fame in Heaven, expect thy
NEED
4 YOUNG one hant who is trying to
struggle on In wisely economical way,
took class in Sunday-school recently.
During the progress of the lesson he asked
s.What is solitude 2" and was visibly dis
turbed when miserable boy promptly
answered: The store that don't advertise
1t is tie Danbury News that "tells on
him.
"MR. JAMES," said clergyman on
pastoral visit. Il don't see you and Mrs.
James at church Sunday evenings"
"Well, no., replied Mr.. James my wife
has to stay home to take care of the child
rem, and as it comes rather hard on her. l
stay to keep her company" why. how
is that? Don't you keep any scryants?''
30. yes, we keep two. but they don't allow
us any priviledges."
CoMFoRTING.-There is more than
one way of .stalking on the subject of re-