The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-09-12

Music note paper is the latest out.
Debta Of Nature-billa Of mortality.
The comet won't come now till1975..
IF you want to make your cost last, make
your waistcoat and trowsers frst
When is q murderer like q gun2 When
he's let off, We have heard lots Of these -.
ports lately.
A doctor was asked to dance che aLan-
cers;" be declined, but expressed willing
| ness to lance the dancers.
A load of bricks passed over an Lows
boy last week without hurting him. BE xas
under bridge.
Why would Grant make . good railroad
conductor? Because hsSnever misses hit
connexions ferris.
civil kiss you" said the ratsrnal snces.
tor of us al to his wife. az dor,t care
Adam if you d." she. lovingly replied
Why is pretty, wellmads, fashionable
girl like thrifty house-keeperf Becanse
She makes very great hustle about snaaa
waist.
A. prophetic fight was indulgsd il recent.
ly at Lafayette, Ind, between tannsfs ahd
wood.choppe-a The former vera badly
whipped. :.
A Rochester man has discovered that Q
kerosene bath, taken every morning bsf6fs
breakfast will keep flies sway from psr.
SOFAS well as every other living thing.
Mosquitoes are reported to be s6 thick st'
Key West that it is sometimes impossible to
see person across the strest. 1hst,spro-
bly, when there is no persos across the street
to see.
Fish are 80 thick. in Clear Lake, Califor-
MIA, that o veracious citizen says: at u
only necessary to wade in and choose your
fish, the only difficulty being which fish ~
choose" -
How should woman going buggy riding
dress herself ?-Demoresfs Monthly.
Either by putting 'em over the head Or
stepping into them, which ever viii keep
your sweetheart waiting the shortest TINA.
|IDr. Morris. !:
A little West street boy doesn't think hia
aunt as pious as she prstends TO be- whsh
she puts 30 much starch in his Sunday shirt
that be can jump over q single post % be
goes to church.
A Connections lad chalkea 8 RomAn I'm.
die perfectly white and stuck j In his mo-
thers candfestiek. Although perfectly =.
tonished, the old lady retained ptssshcs0 0f
mind enough to fan the young gentleman
with shingle. I ~"
Montana grassheppers are more rassnous
than usual this season. They eat wagon
tires, and have been known TO ticklea mule
in the ribs until he kicked, and deyour his
shoes while his feet were in the ar.
The editor of the Hartford Post wrote the
other night that "white pique costumes are
now popular" The intelligent eomposipr
perhaps questioned the fact, and to give it
the merit of truth, set up, ''white pine COT
fins are not popular.
A coun1yman, strolfing through New
London recently, hand in hand with his
Phyllis, impatient to visit the oirc,s, sxclaim.
ed, on seeing bunch Of bananas suspAnded
in front Of one Of the fruit stores, aPl be
moved Sophrony, if them aint the biggest
beans I ever seed p
"This animal" said an itinerant show
man, "is the royal African hysna, measur-
ing fourteen feet from the tip of his nose 10
the end of his tail, and the same distance
back again, making in all, twenty-eight feet.
He cries in the night season like q human
being in distress, and then deyours all that
come to his assistanee-a sad instance Of the
deprayity of human nature"
Complacent landlord of q mountain hotel,
at breakfast the other morning, planted hia
thumbs in his waistcoat armholes, leaned
significantly back into his chair and said :
"Gentlemen, where do you think that beet.
steak comes from?" From near the horn,"
was the quiet reply Of one of the boarders.
It is singular the landlord has not put any
conundrums to his boarders since.
III crowded tavern in Ohio, newly az.
rived emigrant and judge we're put toslsep
| III bQ6 SdL1c 1OOul, 6uo 90 Sl0y WoASs ASs&teA
the Judge said, any good msnt you'd have
had to stay long time iH:Irelnd bAfore yon
could have roomed witha Judge" sThat'a
So" said the emigrant, coolfy Surveying his
roommate, but you would have had to stay
great deal longer in Ireland before you
could have become judge"
Afellowof1 summers invested in 8 banana
on the cars recently. Hecarefully removed the
peel and put it on the seat by his side; then
he broke the fruit up in small bits, cycling
it anxiously as he did 50: When this vas
done he picked up the peel, shook it in his lap
and finally threw the pieces out the window,
remarking as he did SO, "Thafs the fast Of
them prize packages I ever bought, and it's
the last one, you bet"
An Arkansas local soliloquises thusly.-
"Some of our exchanges are publishing as .
curious item statement to the effect that q
horse in Iowa pulled the plug out Of the
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