The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1872-12-25
TO HIS MAJESTIC HIG Illness HON
LARRY ULEARY.

| TO HIS MAJESTlC HlC ii n ESS HUN.
LARRY ULEARY.
The good motives which prompted US
TO extend our counsel to that erring child
of humanity, yclept-"Larry"--havc gone
for augh,. We thought that by hearken-
ing to our voice, he might be induced to
adjust the goggles of common sense, and
plainly sec the error of his way; but no;
true to his instinct, ho follows the bent Of
his asninc inclinalions, refuses to kick,
and again assumes tho load. Hear it, 20
powers LARRY possesses virtue:
"Oh patience the virtue Of AN ass
That trots beneath his burden, and is quick
In last Sundays BULLETIN, lie
lets of another discharge, which is worthy
of his lively genius. lis not every day
We recognize such productions, but
LARRY" is an animal that lives upon an
exalted opinion of his own intellectual re-
sources, and we take pleasure in pricking
every such bauble that attempts formation
on the surface Of Times stream.
LARRY, is writer Of the digniaed
school, aud yet he dosen't know it He
quotes the poets, and his modesty is such
that he mover gives the author he has
virtues even TO excess, 10 very conscien-
tious, goes to church every Sunday, occa-
sionally churps in the chior, breathes mod
esty, and affects gravity with long face.
How sad Sicm Up Sc dirit.
We beheld thee, Larry" as thou dds't
emerge from the obscurity Of private life ;
we watched thee as thou dids't rise to the
meridian of thy greatness, and we were
nigh when thou didst descend with flop ;
We gazed upon thee IS thou didst walk
with all the pride and pomp Of travelling
mailbag, with thy hat penthouse like
over thy eyes, and bearing in every niche
of thy exterior that fatal weapon which
, we have dared to measure with thee. But
listen--the modes. baby knows how II
) 10 himself
'.But yesterday we walked the streets
In all tho pride and glory Of our manhood
Yes, dear LARRY wo beheld thee in
the distance, but thou vast mere shadow
, of thy former self That ambition which
had urged thee on to the ass sumption of 9
task that thy powers were too tickle to ex
/, ecute now mock thee with visions of tha
, time when,
''The rabble gathered round the man o
81 news,
And listened with their mouths wide open
; To hear the workings of heated brain,
, Which all the while ran water"
: Dostlthou remember, Larry" of thu
/, conscience that conscience which never
5 stretched until it acquired it, elasticity
from the political process Of greasing
t Keep marching on Larry" We like to
see thee stalk in thy majesty, particularly
when "pride and glory" follow in thy
train.
"Why man, thou dost bestride the narrow
world
Like Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under thy huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorabls graves"
" Selah' S;cut ipse Dirt"
"Lsrry" again Yields tho Ratchet o.
0 sarcasm, and annihiates US by telling vi
that we were born with genius, and con
, sequontly arc entitled to draw on fame a,
sight. In this respect it is not necessary
to enlighten the public concerning
q Larry" his genius IL we'll established
twithstanding the moisture it possesses
, 1t is said to contract or expand according
as the condition of the river varies. TAX
A ing it on an average it is rather thin
2 LARRY" becomes Mtonished when our
$ liberality accords him quantity of brains
Don't he violent friend Every Ass has
brains. In rational animals the brain is
divided into the intellectual md animal
: parts, the former greatly outweghing the
! latter; whereas, in irrational animals or
t those Of tho genus " Larry" it sufferers
, no division, tho intellectual being entirely
, left out Hence, we have no cause for
a regret for thou didst receive justice.
= "Larry's" light goes out 1t the termination
OF his little piece, and he requests us to
send round the hearse. oh, no We can I
a do 1t, friend you're not Of tina, kind.
o But bark We have mule in the last
I stages Of the epizootic; he will soon fol-
!, low thee, and rs the season favors preser-
walton, we would request you to hold over
aday or two, and then we shall consign
, you both to the silence Of the grave, where
0 thrust your utilization will beget everlsst-
ing repose. 1t shall be thus, sweet friend /:
Here rests Larry and an epizootic mule;
The mule died uscous-Larry blew out
!. fool.
! Waiting for tho noxt baublo that come,
8 along--we hope he sings IN u choir
n We have the honor to remain, Mr.. Edi.
tor, yours with the compliments of tho
season, AGHALATIvr.
A large selection of Mu.
n steal Instruments, such as
u Brass Trumpets, Brass
;. Bugles, French Harps, Toy
y Violins, Pianos, etc., at Phil
= Saup's, l02 Commercial ave.