The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-02-23
a NABoB's VISIT TO NEW YORK
BY MARK TWAIN.

BY MARK TWAIN.
In Nevada there used to be current the
story Of an adventure oftwo Of her nabobs
which may or may not have occurred
give 1t Tor what it is worth ,.-..-. "a.
Col. Jim had seen somewhat Of the
world, and knew more or less OF Its ways;
but Col. Jack was from the back settle.
ments Of the States, had led u life o! ardu.
Gus toll and had never seen city.
These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
projected q visit to New York-Col. Jack
to see the sights, and Col. Jim to guard
his unsophlstication from misfortune.
They reached San francisco in the night
and sailed In the morning. Arrived in
New York, Col Jim said:
1--WE heard tell Of carriages all my life,
and now l mean to have ride in one. /
don't care what it costs; come along"
They stepped on the sidewalk and Col.
Jim called on o stylish barouChe. But
Col. Jack said:
"No, sir; none OF your cheap John
turn outs for me. I'm here to have
good time, andmoney amt any object. l
mean to have the nobbiest rig that's going.
Now here comes the very trick. Stop
that yaller one with the pictures on it
don't you fret-7l stand all the expense
myself" lew
So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus
and they got in. Said Col. Jack
"Ain't it gay, though? Oh, no, reckon
not. Cushions and windows and pictures
till you can't rest. What would the boys
say If they could see us cutting swell
like this in New York? By George! !
wish they could see u.s.
Then lie put his head out of the win
dow and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits me suits
yours truly, you bet you I want this
shebang all day. Tn on it, old man!
Let 'em out! Make 'em go! Well make
it all right to you, sonny"
The driver passed his hand through the
strap-hole, and tapped for his farc-it was
before the gongs come into common use.
Col. Jack took the hand and shook it cor.
daily. He said:
"You twig me, old pard All right
between gents Smell Of that-see how
you like it"
And he put twenty dollar gold piece
in the drivers hand After n moment
the driver said he could not make change.
"Bother the change! Ride out. Put
it in your pocket"
Then to Col. Jim, with sounding slap
on his thigh:
"Ain't it style, thought Hanged if l
don't hire this thing every day for a
week"
The omnibus stopped and young lady
got in. Col. Jack started for q moment,
then nudged Col. Jim with his elbow.
Don't say word" he whispered, "let
her ride il she wants to. Gracious, there's
room enou, Y"
The young lady got out her portcmon-
ME, and handed her fare TO Col. Jack.
whats this for?" he said.
"Give it to the driver, please"
Take back your money, madame. We
can't allow it. You are welcome to a
ride here as long as you please, but the
she-bang is chartered, we shNn't let you
pay cent"
The girl shrank into corner bewilder-
ed An old lady, with basket, climbed
in, and prolEercd her fare.
EXCUSE me-" said Col. Jack. You are
perfectly welcome here, but we can't al.
low you to pay. Set right down there,
mum, and don't you feel uneasy. Make
yourself as free rs II you werc in your
own turnout" iFt-'a
Within two minutes three gentlemen,
two fat women and couple Of children
entered.
"Come right along, friends" said Col.
Jack "don't mind us. This is a free
blowout" Then he whispered to Col.
Jim, New York Amino sOciable place,
l dom reckon; 1t amt no name for III Il
He resisted every effort to pay fares to
the driver, and made everybody cordially
welcome. The situation dawned on the
people, and they pOcketed their money
and delivered themselves up to covert
enjoyment of the episode. HalE-a.do2en
more passengers entered.
"Oh, there is plenty of room," said
Col. Jack, ""Walk right in and make
yourself at home. A blOw-out ain'tworth
anything as blow.o unless q body has
company" Then in whisper TO Col.
jim: "But amt these New Workers
friendly? And amt they cool about it,
too? ICebergs amt anywhere. Ireckon
they'd tackle hcarse, if it was going
their way
More passengers got in; moro yet, and
still more. Both seats were filled, and
file Of men were standingup holding on
TO the cleats overhead. Parties with bas.
kets and bundles were climbing up TO the
roof. llalt.suppressed laughter rippled
up from all sides.
"Well, for clean, cool, out.and.out
cheek, il this don't bang anything that i
ever saw, Pm an Injun," whispered Col.
Jack.
A Chinaman crowded his way in.
~ weaken" said Col. Jack. Hold on,
driver Keep your seats, ladies and gents.
Just make yourselves .iree-eyerything'
paid for. Driver, hustle these folksaround
as long as they're mind to go-friends
Of ours, you know. Take them every
where, and II you want more money,
come TO the st. Nicholas, and we'll make
II all right. Pleasant journey 10 you, la
dies and gentlemen; go it just as long as
you please-it shan't cost you cent |"
The two comrades go out, and Colonel
Jack said: 'st.'.l..7. '.7., a~-
Jimmy, It's the sociablest place ever
saw. The Chlnaman waltzed in as COM
Portable as anybody. If we'd stayed
awhile, I reckon we'd have some mig
gers. By George, we'll have to barritade
our doors tonight, or some OF these ducks
will he trying to sleep with u.s." = =
| .HIH#IE
"A NEW reading of Macbeth's direction
TO his servant