The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-05-21
THE TWO MR., BROWNS.

Mr.. Brown, that | have lately had SO much
trouble
am employed by one of our large Phil
adelphia commercial houses as travelling
salesman, and frequntly make business
visits to the principal cities of our own
and adjoining States. Last summer, while
on visit to a neighboring city, and stop
ping at a cosy hotel there, the following lu-
dicrous incident occurred:
On my arrival / registered my name on
the visitors book as Mr.. Brown. The land
lords consequential manner Immediately
altered to one of Difference on reading the
name, and l was unexpectedly assign
ed one of the best rooms in the house, and
was still more surprised at mine host going
to my chamber with me, and personally su-
perintending the making of the room tidy
and comfortable. was not accustomed to
having so much attention paid to me by
strangers, and could only attribute it to my
good looks and gentlemanly department.
After the landlord had retired, seated
myself at the table, and began letter to
my friends at home. had written but a
few lines, when / was annoyed by strange
buzzing of voices, which seemed to come
from the keyhole of the door.
els it possible" ! said to myself, "that
the residents of this house can take such
an interest in my affairs, to go eavesdrop-
ping after me ?"
/ walked noiselessly to the door, and
suddenly opening it, l surprised no less
than dozen ladies and gentlemen who
were taking covert glances at me by turns,
through the narrow orifice intended for the
key. On my unexpected appearance at the
door, all beat hasty retreat into their re-
spective bed chambers, and the flying spec
tacles of disappearing skirts and coat t-tails,
was scene shall long remember.
could not imagine what it could all
mean. Why should the landlord be so at
tentive to stranger, and why should the
ladies and gentlemen of the house take
such an extraordinary interest in me? But
other wonders were to come. had scarce
ly proceeded with my letter before was
again interrupted by knocking at the
door. l answered the summons, when to
my intense astonishment, beautiful young
lady sprang into my arms, calling me "pa-
pa, dear papa p'
"There must be some mistake, my
DEAR" l said, 81 am not your nor anybody
else's papa"
The young lady was not dismayed by
this declaration, however, but continued to
embrace me and claimed me as her pater-
nal relative.
What was my surprise, when again dis
avowed any knowledge of her, to be assured
that she had expected would disown her,
but attributed it to the wild freaks to which
was subject.
"What wild freaks, my dear miss ?' /
asked.
ooh, we have heard of them ALL" she
replied; "Aunt Laura has well described
your character and peculiarities in her let
ters. But how is mammal"
"My good girl, do you wish to drive me
mad? First you call me papa, and now
you ask me about mamma. Who in the
deuce is your mamma ?'
" Who is she? Why, your second wife,
of course, and my stepmother whom
have never seen; but am dying to get a
look at her.
was about making an angry answer,
and declaring my claims as a bachelor,
when there came trooping into the room
half dozen little children, who immedi.
ately seized upon the tails of my coat, and
the legs of my pants, almost throwing me
off my feet.
"Who arc these ?' cried, in distraction;
care these youngsters more of my Off
spring?"
"0h, no, papa" answered the young
lady; "these are Carries, your Oldest
daughters children. They are your grand
children"
For heavens sake, stop there"
shouted; "you have made me grand
father, but be good enough not to go any
farther with my descendants.
"The truth must be told,' said the
young lady with a rosy smile; "you know
your oldest son is named JohnP"
"Well, since you say so, we will call him
John"
"John has married daughter, who has
lately had"
knew what was coming, so / jumped
up and seized my hat while she concluded.
"a bouncing little boy-so you are q
great grandfather" continued the young
lady.