Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-08-23
CURRENT ITEMS.

all Jne leaves as soon as Jney appear.
Two type-setting machines are working
satisfactorily in the office of the London
Times.
JOHN CH1NAMAN keeps a lager-beer sa-
loon in New York City, and does "welly
good business"
INSURE your life in the Washington In
surance Company, of New York, to the
amount of the mortgage on your house.
A WATERvILLE (Me.) boy steals every
thing he can lay his hands on, and sells
his spoils for ten cents each, irrespective
of quality.
THERE is an immense petrifed palm
tree in Colorado, the trunk of which has
all turned to stone, hard and flinty as
porphyry.
A DowN-EAsT shop-keeper advertises
quart bowls of all sizes for sale cheap"
The smaller sizes are to measure berries
with.
AN exchange says: "a clock in a New
York factory has been seized by the work
ingmen, because it has not struck for
eight hours"
IT takes the combined efforts of two
able-bodied baggage smashers to properly
disintegrate Saratoga trunk as now con-
stTucted.
A DEER attempted to fight two alliga-
tors near Savannah, not long ago, and got
| decidedly the worst of it. The alligators
had venison for dinner.
Mrs, SHoDDY puckered up her mouth
genteelly, and told a gentleman friend
that one of her lovely daughters was
''bluenet" and the other "bronze."
A GENTLEMAN who had been arguing
with an ignoramus until his patience was
| a. I'll 4 LII II. 4.
but he would be glad to see him knO1o
more.
WILL your puppy bitter" drawled
languid young exquisite" to the owner
of beautiful little Scotch terrier. Eyes;
but he isn't cannibalp' was the assuring
reply.
GOODMAN, Miss, has man who owns
live ant-eater. 1t is about the size of a
mouse, and its owner takes contracts for
Kidding the premises of these troublesome
insects.
A COOK, whose wages were sadly in ar
Tears, lately took her revenge by substi-
tuting her chignon for the dressing of a
turkey, on an occasion when her employ
er gave grand dinner party.
THE Astor House, New York, boasts of
an old gentleman who registered his name
on the books of the hotel the first day it
opened, and has been there ever since, a
period of nearly thirty-four years.
? 81 WANT to know" said creditor,
fiercely, 'when you are going to pay me
what you owe me?" "When I'm going
to pay you? Why, you're pretty fel
, low! Do you take me for prophet?"
ONE of the young men belonging to q
Danbury choir had his hair cut by gen
hor o.,
/, day he sang for solo, "Cover my de
fenseless head" and blushed like lob
ster while doing it.
: HERD 's-grass is not good article fol
human food 1t is very slow of diges
tion. A Connecticut paper declares thai
a man at Montville has coughed up {
head of this plant which he swallowed
seventeen years ago. 1t was hard as
, stone, and retained its form and fiber per
fectly.
7 A WOMAN in Columbia, Pa, noted fo
, ''jawing" propensities, dislocated her jaw
. bone, recently, while making violen
Z attack upon her husband. She coulC
3 neither speak nor close her mouth, but re
I mained with tongue hanging out and eye
4 nearly starting from their sockets, till tn,
o arrival of the surgeon, who came, th'
husband thought, sooner than was neces
p sary.
Il SOMEBODY having applied to an edito
for a method by which he might cure hi
daughter of her partiality for young gen
+. tlemen, is kindly informed that there ar
|, several methods of reform. One way i
It to skin the young person; another is Il
t, put her into well and drop a few load
: of gravel on her head another is to bint
81 her ankles to an anvil and upset her ou
It of a boat.
/, A HoT-HEADED youth of Waterbury
n Ct, was recently trying to catch bas
u ball, when il rolled upon the railrOa
II track Just in front of coming train. Blu
D Young America was not to be cheated
u and he went for the ball just in time to b
IL caught by the COW catcher of the engine
is and carried along about two-hundIed fec
y before the train could be stopped. TIL
boy wasn't hurt, but he missed the ball.
= WHEN the first telegram reached An
herst giving news of the victory of the
10 boys at the regatta some one elated wit
the result began to ring the college bel
n President Stearns soon made his appea
ance, and wanted to know what was G,
~ ing on. "They've won," was the r.
spOnse "Who? WHAT" said he. "Wh,
II our crew at Springfield" "Then ring,
~ shouted the now excited President, ''rin
4 It till it cracks"
r. THE Edinburgh Court of Session HI
Id decided that the women students at Il
)y University in that city are enabled
ne complete their curriculem as medic
students, and 10 be graduated on the usu
lg conditions The ladies thus obtain as
w right what they have long sought as
l favor. The decision will put some of Il
he professors in an awkward position,
to they have declared all along that, rath
no than teach women, they would resil
W. their professorships.
JOIN SCHEMMERHoRN, of Alton, II
thought one of his cows was afflicted wi
hollow horn. To satisfy himself
caught the beast and held her by the Il
all while his wife raped on the horn with
he hammer. A moment later a barnya
an tableau was seen, as Schemmerho
EST scared over ten feet board fence, al
ed his wife had an aperture in her Dol
be Warden that a weeks constant labor wi
las a sewing machine could hardly repair.
&c, AN eccentric English gentleman nam
We Bate, recently deceased, left will
rs. which he bequeathed S., 900 to "the p
'as son (unnamed) whom might have wish
vi to marry" and, in case she did not 81
!, d vive him, So, 900 more to three young gi
nc of the neighborhood. A Mrs. Wilson so
~ came forward and professed to be {
lat person intended in the first clause, a
YES furnished full proof that the deceas
AT had often offered himself in marriage
ne her. The young girls opposed her clair
en- en- and the puzzled magistrate finally order
ppJ a compromise.
nee THERE is capital story of two el
rn. nent physicians who, in the reign
of George |. cured or killed on rival and
of posite theories of medicine, and VIII,
se, hostility ended in a challenge and d
nal with small swords. DR.. Woodward,
trv we remember the story, disarmed q
eat overturned his opponent, and with
ace point of his weapon directed against
of throat of his antagonist, thundered q
acy ''Now, you scoundrel, beg your lf
at The heroic reply of the PROSTATE doc
a0o always impressed us as an instance
irony carried up to the sublime, 81