Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1872-08-16
Uncle Horace Come TO Town.

The Sage OF Chappaqua has come,
looked upon us and departed We have
seen him on his travels, in state dress,
with his pants carefully drawn down over
his boots, his coat and hat new and shin
ing. Nobody ever before saw him in such
decent raiment, and no one probably will
see the like again after election. This is
a very particular occasion in the career of
Mr.. Greeley. 1t will of course be duly
chronicled one of these days under the
head of what Il know about travelling
and exhibiting myself for votes"
We have on record one instance # q
Dutch governor sallying out from New
York upon an expedition into the Eastern
States, which in some of its features was
not unlike this march of Horace Greeley.
The name of this famous raider was Peter
Stuyyesan.. When he started his privy
council objected, as the Greeleyites did to
their candidate leaving the shades of
Chappaqua. But Peter was hcadstroug as
Greeley. His councillors demonstrated,
!
well have tried 10 turn a rusty wcathercock
with broken winded bellows. Peter was
firm, so was Horace. Peter went and SO
did Greeley. But while Greeley was
whisked away by Il locomotive among the
pleasant hills Of New England, Peter
| started upon a raw boned, switch-tailed
charger, in fall regimentals, with a trusty
brass-hilted sword upon his thigh, accom-
panied only by q trumpeter, who rode a
broken winded, wall-eyed calico mare,
and carried a huge stone polite slung
under one arm, while his trumpet occupied
the other Had Greeley like Peter mounted
u nag in full regimentals, aud taken Cen
eral Banks as trumpeter on Il "calico
mare" with stone polite slung under his
arm, he would have created a much great
er sensation than he has in his new hat
and coat Mr.. Greedy of course will go
back to New York thinking all the people
he has seen are Greeley republicans, just as
Peter was delighted with the sensation he
created in towns through which he passed.
1.-The good Peter, says the chronicler of
this event. erode through these towns with
"a smiling aspect; Just like Uncle Horace
waving his hand with inexpressible
"maiesty and condescension; [exactly
Like Mr.. Greeley for he verify believed
! THAT the old clothes which these ingen-
'ious people had thrust into their broken
"windows, and the festoons of dried APP
''ples and peaches which ornamented the
.'fronts OF their houses, were so many
decorations in honor of his approach :;
precisely Mr.. Greeley's easel as it was
'.the custom in the days of chvalry to
compliment renowned heroes by sump-
''tuous display of tapestry and gorgeous
furniture" Suffice it to say that Peters
expedition was failure and so is Mr..
Greeleys s. The most Of those that came
to see him came as they would to Il show
of wild animals, and went home laughing
at the exhibition and filmer Grant men
than ever.
If the Greeleytes could have kept Uncle
Horace's tongue still they would have lost
less by exhibiting him. But his tongue
would wag in spite of them, though
every sentence was a thrust at himself
and friends. He says Presidential can
didate ought not to speak in the campaign
and enforces and eXempliiies his opinions
by plunging into stump speech. lie
informs the people that he has not had
many applications for Office, which is very
good for man who has no offices to dis
pose of, and is not likely to have any.
His forbearance in not filling any offices
until he is elected is wonderful Then he
assures the democrats that he will not kick
them out of the party if elected. Were
he to kick them out what would be left
He also informs us that he grows better
natured as he increases in years, which
explains how it is that he is so ready tc
I take rebels to his bosom. But he declares
he has not agreed to pension rebel soldiers
or pay the Confederate debt. Whether he
has made such agreements or not We
think it would trouble him to get rid o.
granting the demands OF the rebels if they
should elect him. Should he refuse would
not that be equivalent TO kicking them out
of the partnership? He confesses that he
urged the Ku-klux legislation, which
, amounts 10 telling his friends that they
| had better keep silent on that subject.
So all the way through his little speeches
he makes "a fool Of himself.
But Mr.. Greeley has gone. The sweet
est and most beautiful flowers remain with
US the shortest time. His trip has not
been Il success but flat failure. Better
stick to chopping trees at Chappaqau.
He is not adapted to the show business.
And the combination is awkward. Cheers
for Greeley stick in the Threats of demo
Gratis, and Horace has not yet become ac-
. customed to rum, tobacco and mulatto
babies. For reconciliation with JEFF,
Davis he is ready having been in training