The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-06-14

confounded to interfere.
Thus equipped, the passenger made
his appearance at the coach door, and
crowding in, took his place on the
middle scat; the ladies twittered, the
men laughed or looked grave according
to .hvir humor, but our hungry passen-
ger seemed in no way Disconnected.
"Won't you have a dish, and knife
and fork !" asked the landlord, who had
recovered his senses, and came forward,
q few moments after the traveller had
seated himself, with the articles, pre-
senting them as he spoke with mock,
polite air, intending TO dash our hero.
But he was not to be thrown off his
guard.
"Thank you kindly ~ he said, bow
ing as he received the dish and carving
instruments. 81 had forgotten these. "
As soon as the pair of chickens and
the turkey were adjusted on the spa
cious dish, which the landlord already
repented having put in the incorrigible
travellers way, the latter sang out at
the top Of his voice: Gan right, driver !!
Go aheadW
Crack went the whip, and off rolled
the stage, leaving Boniface veXed angry,
and yet amused at the righteousness of
the whole scene.
AS for the passengers, all shrunk in
stinctivcly from the bread, meat, etc,
which had been so literally provided,
while the ladies turned up their pretty
noses, and calculated in soft, low
voice:
"Disgusting
"IIold on here stranger, will youn'
said he of the chickens and turkey,
"this confounded stage .jolts at such a
rate that can't carve my turkey"
Indicating with his fingers as he spoke,
on one side of the spacious dish upon
which reposed his proverMer.
The individual thus addressed could
do no less than obey the request and
then the same was made to his other
neignbor who lent the required aid.
"And now, stranger, do you hold this
bread bagw extending his clean, we'll.
filled handkerchiefto to passenger before
him. He was, in answer to this request
politely relieved of his bread, eggs, etc
The dish was now supported on his
knees and firmly held there by his mex
door neighbor, who began TO enjoy the
joke, as did most of his other fellow pas
sengers. In dissecting the turkey and
pair of chickens, under all the disadvan.
tageouS circumstances, he showed him.
selfa skillful carver. The different parts
were nicely separated, and laid about
the dish neatly and quite temptingly
By this timC the odor of the fowls had
awakened into kcenness the unsatisfied
appettc5 of the whole company, who
were only waiting for an invitation tC
help themselves. In carving, the ac
complished stranger had surrounded
the edge of the dish with the pieces O
turkey and chicken leaving quite 6
tied the contents of his pocket -handker
chief, consisting of dozen or so ofboil
Ell eggs, with bread.
"Now, ladies'" he said, lifting the
dish and partly turning round so that il
rested on the taut leathern strap that
formed the movable back of the seat
and thus was fully presented to them
Help yourselves, know you are hun
gry."
The ladies looked at the tempting
exhibition, colored, and hesitated
"Don't be afraid" he urged. "Neces
sity knows no law"
The temptation was too great for ont
hungrier than the rest, who, hesitatinl
no longer, took the wing of chicken il
, one hand and a piece of bread in thu
other, and forthwith commenced opera
tions, not however before she had smil
ed, bowed, and said courteous "Thanl
:, you, sir.'
The other two ladies followed sui
! quite naturally, then the men went t
D.. work in right good earnest, nor pauset
q until turkey, chickens, bread, eggs, ant
n all had vanished. OF course, the sauc
q for all this was good humer, jokes an
L
funny sayings is no small quantity
q After the eatable5 had fully disappear
ed the empty dish was cast overheard
!. and all hands composed themselves, /
O the best temper possible, with them
d selves, each other, and all the worlC
J. Boniface not excepted.
Two hours and half afterwards tn
o stage brought up at Grimes for tea. Fc
1t some time past the late dinner arrange
is ments had not affected the appetites
,r the passengers as it had done at frs
n much to the surprise Of the landlord an
"agent," and not little to his regret
On this occasion, however, his CUES
,r seemed more inclined to laugh than
v eat, and finally left the table, after ha'
IS ing taken only one cup each, wit
g "fiXins" in proportion. The secret
4. this leaked out before the stage moyet
ofthe great merrimentO of Grimes and IL
v. coterie in his bar-room, to whom one
le the passengers related the joke. Anon
is these was the editor ofa country pape
" On the next morning the whole stor
9. appeared in print, with names, place
and all detailed with much humor. Th
le account, Parker, who most peop
thought knew about as much of IL
40 whole matter as anybody, had put int
the form of a hand bill, two or three
r, which were circulated among the pa
ne sengers in every stage. Ofcourse ScreN
Ter became aware of this fact, and di
90 not yentureagain to cheat the passenge
" out Of their dinner when they consen
OF cd to eat at all. But it happened two
three times a week that a whole staI
u, load would refuse to dine with hir
or and thus he came Off the loser. Final
el- he abandoned the profltless business
dining the stages, and fell back into |
he old ways.
- Whoever goes that road now gets
lte comfortable dinner, in good time,at P'
eft ker's, and should the old man feel in t