Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-01-12
THE TWO TROMBONEs.


MIR. WHIFFLEs-the respected parent
Of our hero, Mr.. Adolphus Whiftles-was
an opulent Berkshire farmer, who, before
retiring from his business and leaving it
to his son, fancied that a visit to the great
metropolis would have the effect of sharp
ening the wits of that amlable youth, an
operation of which that young gentleman
stood greatly in need. The son jumped
atthe idea, especially when he learned he
was to set forth on his travels alone
With the parental blessing, and his purse
well filled, Mr.. Whiifles, junior, duly ar
rived in London and installed himself in
economical quarters in Savoy Street,
Strand
The theatres, of course, occupied a
large share of Mr.. Whiflle's attentions
during his stay in London, and the neigh
borhood of stage-doors afforded him a
vast amount of satisfaction. The sight
Of professionals in their every day cos
tune was to him a source of great gratifi-
cation, and his delight when he made the
acquaintance of a prominent member of
the orchestra of the Royal Dash Theater
exceeded all bounds He vowed eternal
friendship for him on the spot, and there
and then ratified the agreement by enter
tanning his new acquaintance at Il Techefrhe
supper at the Albion. Our story opens
when Mr.. Whiffles and his companion
Mr.. O'leary by name-had been almost
inseparables for the space of six weeks.
With pain Mr. Whifiies had lately OBJ
served an expression of settled meian-
choly upon Mr.. O'Leary's expressive
countenance, and had resolutely deter
mined TO divine the cause.
"You are ill.," said our hero one even
ing, after they had supped at the hostelry
above mentioned, and were quafiing
various "whiskys hot" to promote diges-
tion.
Mr.. O'Leary sighed, shook his head
sadly and emptied his glass by way of a
reply; r!{onr .,nnor In. o,..n,ooo with ro,,
you have eaten too much" continued Mr..
Whiffles, tenderly.
1T isn't the supper that worries me, !"
observed his companion tits the substi-
tute."
This mysterious answer puzzled Mr..
Whiffles. He thought it over seriously,
then gave it up in despair, and demanded
an explanation. Mr.. O'Leary vigorously
pulled at his cigar, and proceeded to en-
tighten Mr.. Whiffies.
1t appeared, from Mr.. O'Leary's ac-
count, that it was customary in the
Royal Dash Theater for the management
to allow various members of the orchcs-
ira to absent themselves, from time to
time, from their posts, in order to attend
concerts or other entertainments, on the
condition that they provided efficient
substitutes to fulfill their ordinary duties.
As a.rule, these substitutes were not hard
TO find but Mr.. O'Leary confessed, with
tears in his eyes, that although he had
searched high and low, for some unac-
countable reason he could find no one able
or willing to supply his place at the thea
tire, while he was absent to fulfill most
profitable engagement he had accepted TO
play at a fashionable West End concert,
the ensuing evening Without moments
hesitation Mr. Whitiies threw himself into
the breach and profered his services.
- STUFF 81 replied Mr.. O'Leary, rudely,
what do y0H know about music ?"
Mr.. Whiffles couldn't tell. lie was quite
certain about what he didn't know, but
that he refrained from mentioning. There
was painful pause. Mr.. O'Leary snok-
ed silently on for some time, now and
then darting a searching glance upon the
anxious face of Mr.. Whiflies, as if he were
revolving some great scheme in the in
nermost recesses OF his own mind, but as
yet scarcely saw the manner in which il
could be carried out. Suddenly
Z" have it. Thanks, Whiffles, my boy.
| accept your generous offer. You Mdt
be my substitute said Mr.. OLeary.
+, To say that Mr. Whiffles was delighted
would but feebly express the state of his
mind. He grasped Mr.. O'Leary's hand
and shook it fervently. He trembled al
ready with excitement. His proudest hopes
were about to be realized He would be
admitted behind the scenes of thea
tire. Words failed to convey any
idea of his feelings, as he lent
a willing ear to Mr. O'Leary, who pro
oeeded to give him the necessary instruc-
tions.
In the first place, Mr., OLeary pointed
out, there were two trombone players in the
orchestra of the Royal Dash Theatre, he
himself being one, and that for the espe-
cial guidance of Mr.. Whiffles he would
summarily state the case as follows, pre-.
missing that after the rising of the cur
tain ON the first piece performance upon
the two trombones heralded the approach
of the villain of the piece.
, Further, his (Mr O'Leary's) experience
induced him to believe that in Il crowded
assembly ORe trombone would probably
make as much noise as two and that ell
Mr.. Whitiies had to do, after announcing
himself as Mr. O'Leary's substitute,
would be TO take his seat leisurely in the
orchestra, and when the curtain rose
carefully watch the proceedings of the
other trombone player and Initiate his
every movement; so that, in reality, Onl
trombone would make all the noise, al
though apparently, tirO were being played
- n. al A.. L..