Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1872-03-07
Literary Leeches.

We remember distinctly our first ap-
pearance in public print. 1t was in a
sublime poem, that had occupied our
waking and sleeping thoughts for three
months. The editor doubted its author
ship. We have since discovered that it
was a hash of several. A parent con-
templating his first born, is said to
stretch an inch or two in self importance
or esteem. We felt the crown Of
Shakespeare settling on our brow as We
rose into it. The gems of the circlet
have been gradually dropping away one
by one ever since, until now, our crown
feels like a ounces paper Ornamented III
schOOl-immense but indicative of the
tremendous vacuum beneath.
Among other startling discoveries OF
experience we find that many are attiict-
ed like ourself. The unfortunate birth
of an ''original" idea in the local paper,
signed by these cabalistiC cyphers, X.
!. H., =" will create the enquiry on all
sides who is it ?" and ''who" will
stretch until the secret escapes his or her
guarded heart, and a collapse likely fol
lows on the announcement that the
eager enquiry was prompted only by the
desire 10 know ''who could be such a
fool"
Every part of the human system, we
have medical authority for saying, is
composed of blood. Now we will as
sumo by the authority of "A thorough
literary icoch that Potjencr, though an
abstract quality only a hHm9nlty, as
embodied in our modern editor, must bc
Il nice fraction of the whole mortal com
position. Why This is conundrum
every literary lccch, like oursclf, should
be competent to answer Ordinary
suckers when satiatcd thoroughly, fall
eft &Ot SO with the human sucker
literarily inclined. The haplcss pub
Usher who uHguardcdly receives thcnI
to his breast, will dance and kick in
vain to shake them oft, until like
blasted and sap1ess trunk he sinks be
iteali, tl,o weight of accumulated essays
mcmoriams potu,a. talorts, sermons
plea primmer. paper aud the devil"
\ certain editor Of our acquaintance
proposes to feed his voracious patrons
through a separate volume, entitled a
Souyenicr Of Rejected Genius, in which
will be arranged rcrbatjm ct Weratim
gems of purest ray SERENE" soulful
thoughts, ink} monstrosities, torturing
orthograpyy, murdered eJtmology,
warped syntax, English, Greek, etc.
The ''mirror will be held up to nature,
the contracts will be 50 unique, all will .
be satisfied with the mighty conglomcr- !.
alton, especially the authors. The pro-
cecds of this wonderful work are to be !
used for the recupcration of exhausted
editors and compositors in sea voyages,
water -urcs, etc
With word to our dear, brother
Ieechcs in a173s we will close our essay. /
If yr are strong, robust fellows do not
bleed" the editor or his patrons, unless
" can give an equivalent in return If .
yr must blossom ont into poetry, prose
tnd lengthy essays, say something before
ye finish them if yc would not finish
your reputation and the editors too.
In fine as we must repeat ideas, once
given in a better dress, write on topics
a. blind to us as Sol n midnight, tell
folks facts they knew when ~r were of
a prospective generation initiate Iik?
noching birds. etc, wouldn't it be nd
5isable to file our manuscript literature
carefully away for the cIjication and
Instruction If future generations, who
will likely forget the stirring topic, that
tgilatci the Gifted quilts of their anccs-
ors, if they To- not preserved In each
chimney corner, saltel down, as it were
or future use and reference After
his reform, tha petrifaction Of editors
would cease, and the types wouldn't de-
troy 50 many literary regulations,
EXCELSIOR.