davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
SCRAPS OF HUMOR.

II may sound like a paradox, but
breaking both wing Of an army is pret-
ty sure way TO make it fly.
"Lor-a massy," exclaimed an old lady
in the witness-box, chow should know
anything abouta thing ! dunno anything
about ?"
William, who had always paid his
debts, found that in less than year after
his marriage he had a little Bill to take
up every day.
Who are the most exacting Of al land
lordsY Why children because they
never fail to make their own fathers and
mothers parents.
A Western paper puts it thus-"Noah
Powers, Charlotte, was fourteen years
old. His last words were: Il didn't
know il was loaded"
Josh to young men-Don't be discour-
aged if yur mustash don't grow; it some
times happens where mustash duz tho
best, nothing else duz so well.
"My dear" said a rural wife to her
husband, on his return from town, "what
was the sweetest thing seen in the bon
nets in the city," "The ladies' faces, my
love"
Coming Obituary.-An American
journal gives this as a specimen of the
looming obituary" "Died in the 81
year of his age, John Smith, husband q
the Hon. Jane Smith, at her residence
in Franklin, at six o'clock. Mr.. Smitl
was a meek and quiet husband, belovet
for the graces of a cultivated nature. HI
excelled in the domestic virtues ; as {
cook, he was surpassed by few; as {
nurse, he was equaled by none"
billings says: There is one kind ov
laf' that / always did recommend i
looks out ov the eye fust with a merr.
twinkle, then it kreaps on its hands an
knees and plays around the mouth like
moth round the blaze of akandle, the
it steals over into the dimples ov tn
ckeeks and rides around in those littl
whirlpools for while, then it swims Of
on the air with peal az clear and a
hapy az a dinner bell, and then it goc
back agin on golden tiptoze, like an an
gel out for an airing, and laze down o.
its little bed ov yiolets in the heart wher
il cum from.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
Blanket Your Horse.

At this season of the year, when we
have many cold, windy days, horses,
when left standing, should have some
sort of covering thrown over them to
keep warm and comfortable and prevent
them from being chilled. Careful driv-
er, will always do this, and in passing
through our streets il is very gratifying
to notice so many horses kindly cared for
in th. respect, indicating the pleasant
sympathy and interest Of the owner in
The welfare Of his beast. There are
those, however. who possess so little SYM
pathy and care for their animals that
they never think of protecting them
against cold, even when sweaty from
hard driving or over-work. Such people
ought never to have the charge of horse,
but as this cannot always be regulated,
theJ should be compelled in some way to
take proper care of them.-IiaUervilte
Publisher.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
Thirty Reasons.

David Paul Brown, an eminent law
yer in Philadelphia recently deceased,
once made an argument in favor Of pro-
hibition, in which he most completely
set aside all constitutional and inan-
cial objections, and gave the following
thirty reasons why intoxicating liquors as
beverage should be prohibited by law.
We would like to see some apologist for
liquor-selling attempt to Offset them with
the same number on the other side of the
same question. Mr.. Brown asks all to
join in the practical enforcement Of the
doctrine, that the sale of intoxicating
drinks as beverage should be prohib-
tied by law, because:
/. They deprive men of their reason
for the time being.
2. They destroy men of the greatest
Intellectual strength.
3. They foster and encourage every
species of immortality.
4. They bar the progress ofcivilization
and religion.
5. They destory the peace and happl
ness of millions Of families.
6. They reduce many virtuons wives
and children to beggary.
Z. They cause many thousands Of mur
ders.
8. They prevent all reformation o.
character.
8. They render aborative the strongest
resolutions.
10. The millions of property expended
in them are lost.
IL. They cause the majority of case
of insanity.
u. They destory both the body and
soul.
l3. They burden sober people with
millions of paupers.
IA. They cause immense expenditure
| 10 prevent crime.
Is. They cost sober people immens'
sums of charity.
Is. They burden the country with
enormous taxes.
II. Because moderate drinkers wan
the temptation removed.
IS. prunkards want the opportunit,
removed.
10. Sober people want the nuisance
removed.
20. Tax payers want the burden re
moved.
q. The proaibition would save thoas
ands now falling.
] 22. The sale exposes our persons to in
suit.
23. The sale exposes families TO de
struction.
"a. The sale upholds the vicious an'
idle at the expens. Of the industrious an
virtuous.
25. The sale subjects the sober 3
great oppression.
20. Ii takes the sober m6sl's earning
to support the drunkard
q. 1t subjects nuubsfless wiye to un
old sufierings.
~. II is contrary 10 the Bible.
20. ID is contrary TO common sense.
80. We have q right to rid ourselve
of this burden. Temperance Blessing.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
MASONRY.
What Constitutes Masonry.


1t clothes the naked, visits the sick,
and comforts the distressed. The hand
of brother is always open to relieve a
worthy distressed brother; so long as one
is worthy to remain q member of this
order, so long as he is entitled to its bene,
factions. Could this be said Of every
society of men, how few would he found
in our aims houses. The mystical future
with its unknown reservations is before
us. No man can fathomit a in single day
He whose heart is most gay today, and
whose morrow seems most redolent Of
bright joys, may be the first to need the
assistance of his fellow mortals. The
ease and luxury in which he delights to
day, tomorrow may be as the tale as i
told. The health and strength in which
he now rejoices may fall as shadow be
fore the light of another day. Against
these our order, to certain extent, pro
vides. Masonry is safeguard agains
the pecuniary distresses of this life.
MASONRY IN KENTUCKY.
A correspondent of the Glasgow lines
says: In the history of our lives ther'
are, perhaps, some events which become
fixed upon the memory and forever re
main as cases in lifes gloomy desert.
The brightest of these will nov
speak of-describe it-I can not. On
Tuesday evening when the Grand Lodg'
at Louisville was called to refreshment
the Grand Master requested the breth
rem to keep their seats. This we did
wondering much what ii meant. Sud
denly the curtain rose and before US sa
about sixty children, mostly girls, neatl.
dressed and with happy smiling faces
Past Grand Master Fitch came forwar'
ard presented to us the orphan childrel
of the Masonic Widows and Orphan
home. Cheers shook the Temple to it
foundation, and tears flowed from nearl,
every eye. A worthy brother from thi
county remarked, 81 could not help cry
ing-I did not try to help it, and ! di'
not want to help it," This was doubles
the feelings of all. The children wei
coined and entertained US with songs
speeches, declamations ard dialogues
which was the most natural periormane
ever witnessed. Every brother dre'
his purse and over three hundred dollar
were thrown into the hats presented b.
the little girls. VISITED the Home. !
was home indeedl The happiest in
mates, and best regulated institution
ever cav. Brother Fitch Is one of Cod
own noblemen. Having once been
friendless orphan, he knows exactly wha
to do with those under his care. In pre-
senting those children 10 rs he referred :
the old Roman niatron und said. "Breth
ren behold your jewels but the ladie
connected with the Home are our bright
est Jewels. They are bright in this Sorl
and will undoubtedly shine as stars il
the next world. May the God Of Peac
delight 10 dwell with and bless them.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
Your Occupation.

40 not be above your business, no
matter what that business may be, but
strive to be the hest in your line. He
who turns up his nose at his work quar-
rels with his bread and butter. He is a
poor smith who quarrels with his own
sparks. There is no 'hame about any
honest calling DO moi be afraid of soil
ing you hands; there is plenty of soap
to be had. All trades are good to ira
ders. Beware only of one thing-lazi-
ness. There is plenty 10 do in this world
for every pair of hands placed in it, and
must so work that the world will be richer
because of our having lived in it.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
FINANCIAL.


Meetfng 0f she GeDecmntrt uonru 0S ~
nance fes Ke~suehy.
At a meeting of the Centennial Board
Of Finance for Kentucky, held in pursu-
ance Of notice by Hon. Robert Mallory,
Centennial Commissioner, at Willard
Hotel, in Louisville, Kentucky, on No.
vember Is, 1872, there were present Hon.
Robert Mallory, Commissioner, and the
following mcmbers Of the Board:
Second District--Lucius p. Little,
Owensboro.
Eighth District-Thomas w. Varnon,
Stanford.
Tenth District-James l.. Waring
Grcenup.
On motion Of Mr.. Mallory, the Board
organized by appointing Thos. W. Var
non Chairman, and Lucius r. Littl,
Secretary.
On motion it was resolved that the fol
lowing banks be appointed and author
ized to act as agents to receive subscrip
tions of stock for the purposes indicates
in the act creating the Centennial Boar
Of Finance, viz: =
Farmers Bank, Frankfort, Ky
Farmers and Drovers' Bank, Louis
vile, Ky.
National Bank of Stanford, Stanford
Kentucky.
National Bank of Ashland, Ashland
Kentucky.
Greenup Deposit Bank, Greenup'
burg, Kentucky.
Second National Bank, Lexington
Kentucky.
Owensboro Savings Bank, Owensborc
Kentucky.
II was further resolved that othe
agents may be designated by any corpori
tor who shall notify the Centennial Con
missioner at Philadelphia of the ager
so designated.
On motion, resolved, that copy ,
these proceedings be furnished the new
papers of Louisville for publication, an
the newspapers throughout the State al
requested to copy.
On motion, the meeting adjourned.
THOS. w. NARNON,
Chairman
LUCIUs =. LITTLE, Secretary.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
TIE FUTURE OF CHINA.
Don't Burn 20 Cure I.ampIas.

1t has long been custom with black
smiths TO burn horses mouth with n
red hot iron, to cure a disease called
''lamplas." 1t is q cruel and useless
practice Us will be seen from the follow
ing opinion of an eminent veterinary
surgeon:
The symptoms of this imaginary dis
ease are, the horse quids his hay or re-
fuses his food. 1t is most common In
Young horses; the groom looks into the
mouth of tho animal, and perceiving the
bars 10 be almost on level with the In
cisor teeth, he pronounces his charge to
have the lamplas, and takes the poor
creature 10 be burnt within its mouth nc.
cordingly.
Ii is true the animal has recovered its
appetite by. the time the effects of the
burn have passed away, but so it would
have done had no hot iron been cruelty
employed. The fact is. the horse is then
cutting a molar tooth, aud day or two
having elapsed, all the fever aud pain
oocasioned by the process would have
been over No man should allow his
horse to be burnt for the lamplas. IL is
a torturing. ap idol aud wantoa opera
ton, and tends rather 10 do harm than
good.
II an old horse be reported Us having
the lamplas. examine his mouth. and
something may be fund wrong with his
grinders, or, to certainty, the cause is
TO be sought in another part Of the body
than the roof Of the mouth. IL Is some.
times indicative of disordered stomach" :"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
BAMBOOZLED BRIGAND.
A Greeiau womau's strataGeUs-A sPsvL
From Old Hellenic Fire.

A Greeiau womaU's strataGem-A SPARK
From Old Hellenic Fire
A story comes from Athens about
Greek brigandage very refreshing to hon
est people, and suggestive of the question
whether women might not govern Greece
better than its men. One of the cures
of modern Hellas, as everybody knows,
is the unextirpated guild of brigands,
who infest the land, defying the govern
ment, suppressing commerce, demoraiiz-
ing the peasantry, and robbing and muir
dering strangers or rich natives. One of
these unhanged villains lately captured
the youthful son of a widow woman u
property, well known upon the border.
The usual message was sent down from
the hills; the brigand chief must have
one hundred drachmas by a certain day,
or the life of the boy-he was only twelve
years old-would pay the forfeit. As
usual, too, the last hope which mother
could cherish in such frightful position
was the chance of government help.
The wretchedly weak administrations
which play at "in and out" in Athens
still allow these scoundrels to hold the
roads and passes of the country, and this
poor woman had TO trust to her own
courage and wits. Neither were want
ing; there was some true old 'Odyssean
blood in her, and she hit upon plan for
saving both her child and her drachmas.
She had brother, young fellow of per
feet pluck, though his checks were as
smooth as the Delian Apollo's, and him
she dressed up carefully as Greek girl
Having appointed to meet the robbel
chief in a certain spot, she took up 2Ot
drachmas and a present of cakes and
fruit, the Greek girl going with her al
guide" On reaching the place they
found the scoundrel waiting, with the
captive lad bound hand and foot beside
him. The woman first ascertainsd by
cunning questions that the man was re
ally alone, and then offered, with many
supplications, her money and the presen
of cakes and fruit. The villain took th'
latter and munched while he counted ou
the drachmas; then, with fierce oatl
he said il was far too little-that sh'
must go back and send enough to maxi
up thousand, without delay. Whil'
the woman clung supplieating to HI
knees. the "Greek girl" suddenly flung
grip of iron round the robbers arms, ant
as the fellow was thus piniOned, the out
ragged mother drew loaded pistol anC
shot him dead. The pair lost no time IL
liberating the lad, nor did they forget Il
cut of and wrap in cloth the bead o
the "chief;" and. as a reward Of thre'
thousand drao Imas had been set upoi
this precious article they lDade quite Al
excellent days business cf il, on arriy
ing sase and sound at their own village.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

Few persons are aware how immense
the lumber trade Of the United States
really is, and how rapidly increasing.
Not only is this the case in the Atlantic
States and in the North, but even on the
Pacific coast the demand, both for home
consumption and for export, is very
great. From Puget Sound alone the
shipments of fir were, in the year 1869,
nearly 1877, 100000 feet, and this year
will be 239, 100000. This timber goes
almost over the world. 1t is shipped, ,ac-
cording to the Custom-house records, to
Callao, Tahiti, London, Mexico, Austria,
liza, Russia, New York, China, Nalpara-
$50, Honolulu, Panama, Calcutta, and
Victoria.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

An advertisement of a land sale in the
island of Anglesey has appeared in the
Times, which describes the property as
lying in the several parishes of "Llan-
beulan, Llantrisait, Llandauseint, Liam
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, Dllanddy-
fan, Amlwch, Llandryfrydog, and Liam
Gillian
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

Some Of our readers who have lived
fifty years may be glad to know what
they have accomplished in that time.
According to a French statistician, the
average man has at that age slept 6,O0J
days, worked 1900 days, walked S0O
days, amused himself 1900 days, spent
/ 200 in eating, and been sick 500. He
has eaten II ,OO0 pounds of bread, l6,OOC
pounds of meat, 1900 pounds of vegcta
bles, fish, ETC., and drank 1000 gallons
Of LIQUIDS
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

Mormons to the numberof 1896 have
sailed from Liverpool to this country
since the 18th of June. Their nationali-
ties are 63j English, ~ Scotch, l3l
Welsh, 13 Irish, 727 Continental.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

A new set Of religious sectarians have
adopted a special form of worship, and
assumed the title of "Christadelphians.
They believe the world is to be destroyed
the wear after next.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

To FIND out the number of children
in a street beat bass drum. To find
out the number of idle men start dog
fight. To find out the number Of women
let woman go through quiet street
with the latest style of bonnet on.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

In the United States thereare ~, ,J00,-
900 men and boys and l9,OOO,OOO wo'
men and girls.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

wINDafII.ts.

WiNDNilsi-.
Since 1854, there have been hun a
and twenty paten,sg granted for windmills.
GROWING MYSTERY.
II is perfectly useless to try to fathom
the many mysteries surrounding the
materials and colors for ladies'
dresses. No man could possibly
spare the time to think of il even, and
how women find the time to become az
fail passes comprehension. To think Of
Damascus crcpeline, Polka spotted cash
meres, Algerine cloth, Sicilian poplin OF
shades Of Neae. Peko. Acanthe. Couteille,
or Euxinc, or of Poudre, Alligator, Hir.
ondelle, Canard, or Of Euchse. Corveau
Tourmaline, or a new Carmelite, is dis
tracing enough without calling to mind
the fact that next month q totally new
set of names will be invented. Every
thing now Is in name; old things in
that way become new.
osAGE ORANGE.
Besides its use as hedesplant, the
Usage Orange has been found to possess
other valuable properties. A decoction
of the wood yields beautiful and per.
manent dye. The wood h~ been found
also to be rich in tannin, and in Texas
hides have been tanned with it more
quickly than with oak bark. The seeds
also yield an oil resembling that of the
olive.
SILVER.
AT last we may look for the fulfill
ment of the promises of plenty of silver.
both for money and other useful pur.
poses, from the mines of the Rocky
Mountains-that is, if we may believe
the last reports of the discovery of sill
yer ledge sixty-three feet wide and FIVE
miles long, which yields ore worth $1,000
q ton.
CONSUMPTION OF SUGAR.
The American Artisaa says that ''the
consumption of sugar in the Unitci
States is larger in proportion to popula-
tion than that in any other nation on the
globe, and that the increased consump-
ton Ct sugar may lie taken as the evil
dence of an advance towards higher
civilization. Which isa weet reflection.
THE WHEAT CROP.
The amount of wheat raised in 1872,
in the United States, is estimated at two
hundred and forty million bushels. This
will give six bushels to each individual
of the population-an amount in excess
of our consumption, which Is five busbel'
to each individual per annum. There
will then be left forty million bushels foI
export.
TIE FUTURE OF CHINA.
The fcility with which the Chinese
initiate and appropriate foreign ideas il
tending to rapidly change their social and
national character. Already they have
advanced so far in modern improvement,
as to have built and armed war-eteamei
of 300 tons, exclusively with native
labor, directed only by four foreign su
perintendents. A nation which can Sc
rapidly learn and adopt the ideas Of more
advanced nations, and one so wealthy ID
resources and population, must soon take
a prominent position in the world.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The new Episcopal Cathedral, which
it is proposed to build in New York, will
cost s2,0OO,OO Two gentlemen are
ready to give 100000.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
PuUNNY-PUNNICs.


"ullt irames-rr'soh "'nuo""
Cloth for baker-Dough-skin'
Whaling grounds-schooshouses'
Passed to third reading-love letters.
Something to boot-An impertinent
dun.
A new name for tight boots-A corn
crib.
A Western Settler-The sun at eve
ming.
Forgers to be encouraged-Black-
smiths.
How was Jonah punished?-Whaled
of course.
Courting after marriage-Applying for
a divorce.
A pledge Of love-Pawning the en-
gagement ring.
Hard to bear with equine-imity-The
horse distemper.
Young men had better he fast asleep
than "fast" awake.
If you want to know whether tree is
hollow or not, axe it.
How to make an Indian loaf-Give
him a gallon of whisky.
Don't let your cattle stray; we once
saw a cow-hide in shop.
When the rain falls, does it ever rise
again? Yes, in dew time.
a secret has been defined rs anything
made known as a whisper"
Why are elections like tentsy Because
the canvass ends at the polls.
Punch has been found man too lazy
TO labor under an impression.
What roof covers the most noisy ten
ant9-The roof of the mouth.
A Harvard student defines Irritation to
he attention without intention.
dos;-ollo socond hand article-a
voupo rich and amiable widow.
whor n lady s,;nts what fiigure does
sbe need1 You must bring her 2.
with 10 tho horn Of nlen.
~ hocau.e II will corn you copiously.
n eue .,...-..o, Tho how wb,
eu.I IL r,a,,,h w;,h no, b,kod an,les
r.,. IL. .o.,o ror,,..,.. .,
~. -, ;,,-,;eah,a yonv;o;do
~
~. IT, -, ~. 81. ~. "roauc;ro .
"''''~' NV ''''>
,,, IL. A.,
"n - ha5 . had com
ns 80. 'DoN -" -. A.. ~ = Lson,b
t. .
~ -.
y - ;.
- t,o
Inns Is 'ne ,ocA oi %sos' | ~ ~.
h,ner' n,'er ','N's '"O '
'"
MAN Is " mis.ery' S"'u !ou"s '''!
70 ner oe"u' les ae"r' '''" mt "'
g'ri Is h'ssery'
a young maj, oe'ne asAvu u nc was
professional 'ooacceo s'n0Ae'' 'eP''e'
mo- am-a-che"er'
Why is a lady who wears her own hair
unlike the ark! Because she Is not 60
ing 10 mount "iy rat
There are two things IN this world tina
can not be trified with--A womans oPld
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

THERE are in the city of Louisville | |
Baptist churches, I white and 4 colored ;
4 Christian; II Episcopal, 10 white and
l colored; ~ Presbyterian, l l white and
/ colored 10 Methodist, l3 white and 6
colored 13 Roman Catholic; | Lutheran;
| Unitarian; 8 German Evangelical; 2
Israelite; making in all 79 churches.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

A lawsuit was lately finished in Lon
don that had been on the docket one
hundred and forty-seven years.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The bread Of life is love; the salt Of
life is work the sweetness Of life is
poetry the water Of life, faith.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The Chicago man who stepped behind
pair Of mules that he interded 10 per
chace, asked, with much feeling Wien
he Was picked up out OF the gutter. "li
the derrick had killed anybody else,
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The treasury of the Missionary Society
of the Methodist Episcopal church show
ed balance on hand Of si7,119.73 on
the 1st Of October last.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22
RELIGIOUS INrELLIGENCE.

The National Camp Meeting Associa-
tion have resolved to hold but four Of
their meetings during the year.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

A young girl at an examination In
grammar. this other day. when asked why
the noun "baehelor" was singular, blush
ingly answered, "because il was very sim
uiar they don't get masried.' sbs went
up head. \
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The Declaration and Testimony Synod
of the Presbyterian church of Missouri
has taken action in favor of union with
the Southern Presbyterian church and the
Reformed church of America. This
union would constitute a strong conserva-
tive and thoroughly orthodox church,
without the loss of any congregations,
ministers, or members.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

An enormous silver ledge has been dis
covered in Colorado. II is over five
miles long, with breadth of 63 feet.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1872-11-22

The Mormon Conference, recently in
Salt Lake City, reelected Brigham
Young as Prophet, and appointed thir-
teen missionaries for Europe.