The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-05-16
ssThe Learned Professions"

ssThe Learned Professions"
Oliver Wendell Holmes gives the folio wing
dissertation upon lawyers, ministers and doc-
tors, which will be recognized as measurably
true to the actual experiences of life:
The lawyers are picked lot, first scholars"
and the like but their business is as unsympa-
thetic as Jack Ketch's. There is nothing hu
manizng in their relations with their fellow
creatures. They go for the side that retains
them. They defend the man they know to be
a rogue, and not very rarely throw suspicicion
on the man they know to be innocent. Mind
you am not finding fault with them; every
side of case has right to the best statement
it admits of; but 1 say it does not tend to make
them sympathetic. Suppose in case OF Fever
VS.. Patient, the doctor should side with either
party according to whether the old miser or his
expectant heir was his employer. Suppose the
minister should side with the Lord or the devil,
according to the salary offered and other Incl
dental advantages, where the soul of sinner
was in question. You can see what piece of
work it would make of their sympathies. But
the lawyers are quicker witted than either
of the other professions; and abler men gen.
orally They are good-natured, or, if they
quarrel, their quarrels are above-board / don't
think they are as accomplished as the minis
ters, but they have way of cramming with
special knowledge for a case which leaves q
certain shallow sediment of intelligence in
their memories about a good many things
They are apt to talk law in mixed company,
and they have way Of looking around when
they make point, as if they were addressing
jury that is mighty aggravating as I once
had occasion to see when one of 'em, and a
pretty famous one, put me on the witness-stand
at dinner party once.
The ministers come next in point of talent.
They are far more curious and widely interest
ed outside Of their own calling than either of
the other professions. like TO talk with 'em.
They are interesting men, full of good feeling,
hard workers, always foremost in good deeds,
and, on the WHOLE the most efficient ciyilizing
class, working downward from knowledge to ig
norance, that is-now and then upward, also
that we have. The trouble is, that so many of
them work in harness, and it is pretty sure to
chafe somewhere. They too often assume prin-
ciples which would cripple our instincts and
reason and give US crutch of doctrine.
have talked with great many of 'em of all
sorts of belief, and don't think they have
fixed everything in their own minds, or are as
dogmatic in their habits of thought as one
would think to hear 'em lay down the law in
the pulpit. They used to lead the intelligence
| l
they keep up with it, and they are very apt to
lag behind it. Then they must have COL
league. The old minister thinks he can hold
to his old course, sailing right into the winds
eve of human nature, as straight as that ia
mous old skipper John Bunyan the young
minister falls off three or -four points and
catches the breeze that left the old mans sails
all shivering By and by the congregation
will get ahead of him. and then it must have
another new skipper The priest holds his own
pretty we'll; the minister is coming down every
generation nearer and nearer to the common
level of the useful citizen-no oracle at all, but
man of more than average moral instinct,
who, if he knows anything, knows how little
he knows. The ministers are good takers,
only the struggle between nature and grace
makes some of 'em little awkward occasion
ally. The women do their best to spoil 'em, as
they do the poets you find it very pleasant to
be spoiled no doubt SO do they. Now and then
one of them goes over the dam no wonder,
they're always in the rapids.
BY this time our three ladies had their faces
all turned toward the speaker, like the weather
cocks in northeaster, and thought it best to
switch off the talk on to another rail.
"How about the doctors?" / said.
"Theirs is the least learned of The Frofes-
sions, in this country at least They have not
half the general culture of the lawyers, nor a
quarter of that of the ministers. l rather
think, though they are more agreeable to the
common run of people than the men with black
coats or the men with green bags. People can
swear before 'em if they want to and they can't
very we'll before ministers. l don't care wheth-
er they want to swear or not, they don't want
to be on their good behavior Besides, the
minister has little smack of the sexton about
him he comes when people are IN ertrcmis,
but they don't send for him every time they
make slight moral slip-tell lie, for in
stance, or smugge silk dress through the
Custom House but they call in the doctor
when child is cutting tooth or gets splin-
ter in its finger. So it doesn't mean much to
send for him, only pleasant chat about the
news of the day for putting the baby to rights
doesn't take long Besides, everybody doesn't
like to talk about the next world; people are
modest in their desires, and find this world as
good as they deserve but everybody loves to
talk physic. Everybody loves to hear Of strange
cases; people are eager to tell the doctor of the
wonderful cures they have heard of; they want
to know what is the matter with somebody or
other who is said tn DC suffering from "a COM
plication of diseases - and above all, to get q
hard name, Greek or Latin, for some complaint
which sounds altogether too commonplace in
plain English. If you will only call head
ache a Cephalalgia, it acquires dignity at once,
and patient becomes rather proud of it. So
think doctors are generally welcome in most
companies.
| WHAT TO DO WHEN IN TRoUBLE.--Don't
try to quench your sorrow in rum or narcotics.
If you begin this you must keep right ON with
it, till it leads you to ruin; or if you try to
pause, you must add physical pain and the cor
scousness of degradation to the sorrow you