Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-08-27
VIBRATIONS OF A FRONT YARD.
by BOGGs.

! BY BOGGS.
We have recently moved into house
| that has a front yard. We have always
lived in houses whose front yard was the
street. Children will play in the yard
whether there is street running through
it or not. After two or three of them had
barely escaped being run ever by the teams
| that insisted in running through our front
! yard, wife said she must rent house that
hadn't any street in it. So we did. But lore,
the children didn't make any account of it.
| They are in the street as much as ever, ac-
cumulating their daily supply Of narrow es-
capes.
Wife said the yard looked bare without
shrubs, and flowers, and vines. l limited
that little grass would help it too. She
asked me if knew where l could get some,
and | told her l knew 3 little grass widow
on the next street, if she would do. | re-
treated, followed by the rolling pin.
One morning as was going away, wife
asked me to bring her a few "annuals"
when | came back. l wondered what she
wanted with ANIMALS as l rode down town
in the street-car, but am accustomed to a
blind obedience TO her requests, so when
went home at night brought her some an
nuals. There were "Dr. Jayne's Medical
Almanac" remember, aud "The Odd
Fellows Annual Offering" and a "New
Years Address" for 1862, and the "Birth
Day Gift" and numerous annual addresses
before agricultural associations thai had ac-
cumulated on my hands.
"Good gracious" exclaimed Mrs. Boggs
(she never swears like that unless under
great excitement), ''What have you brought
me?"
"Annuals, Mrs. Boggs," said 1. "You
said you wanted some ANIMALS, and here
they are"
Then Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing and
cried, "Why, you old fool you Eve have
been married twenty years, but Mrs. 3.
calls me pet names YETI, the ANIMALS l
meant are flowers, such as verbenas, PAN
sizes, daisies, morning glories, mignonette
and the like, to set out in our front yard"
Then sue took all the ANIMALS had been at
so much pains to collect and set them out
in the back yard among other rubbish.
The next morning she asked me if l
thought could get her some roses for the
front yard. Told her l knew a man who
had got lot of early rose potatoes, but it
wasn't the right time of year for setting
them out. q have an idea that the ground
is much better employed in raising potato
than in raising a flower, unless il be bar
rel Offlower.) Wife said | hadn't bit of
taste. She then gave me memoranda of
roses she wanted. L was busy all day, but
just as was about taking Car for home,
thought of the roses. | referred to the
memoranda, and found the following:
Get 3 few geraniums, fuchias, hello
trOpe, roses, bourbon, running rose, Prairie
Queen golden tea plant, vines, English
ivy, Wandering Jew, seeds, ETC."
| studied il hard, but it was slightly in
comprehensive. She had evidently got
things mixed up. However, L went to a
florists aud told bin what L wanted. Said
I-''Give me few geraniums and few
she's, and"
"a few what2' asked the flower man,
looking very puzzled.
"a few She's" said |, turning very red,
know, for l couldn't tell for the life of me
what my wife wanted of few she's about
the place, as she never could live in the
same house with another woman.
AS the florist looked more staggered than
ever, handed him the memoranda, when
he bursted into loud laugh.
"Why, man," he cried, sits tIcbiGs, she
Wants!" and then he roared again.
swell, whatever 1t is, give me a couple of
yards of it, anyhow, front and back yard,
too"
You see was mad.
| got the things the memoranda seemed
to call for at various places, and went home,
"Here, Mrs. Boggs, said l, testify" "are
the things for your front yard"
"Why, what is this?" she cried, as thrust
a two-galon jug upon her among other
things.
A'Bourbon, my dear, l found it on the
memoranda. Pretty thing to set out in the
front yard, though. How long do you
s'pose it'll stay there with the neighbors |
we've got?"
"Boggs, you are an Internal -; that |
was Bourbon Rose But |
what is this nasty little book" holding up |
dime novel with highly colored title page, |
representing gorgeous squaw on fiery |
and untsmed mustang.
"That? Why you ordered it, didn't you? |
That is Running Rose; or the Prairie
Queen one of Beadle's you know"
My wife carried it at arms length and |
threw it into the stove. Then she took /
the jug of Bourbon and emptied il into the
back gutter. While she was gone | con-
cealed Alexander Dumas "Wandering |
Jew" which l also had purcE ased, for l |
began to see that | had made q terrible
blunder in filing that order. q have since
ascertained that "Wandering Jew" is the
name of vine, but how was l expected to
know all about it2)-Fat Contributors
Night.