The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1872-02-29

Ou8Uh1cns
In the course Of an Illinois discussion, a
man is said to have had ravine built in the
back of his head with pop bottle"
An Overwise parent, who didn't snare
the rod, nearly spoiled the child BY throw.
ing him ont OF the window aiterward.
An Arkansas paper publishesthe follow
ing notice: Persons wishing to have their
marrisge or obituary inserted, will please
hand ii in. -
A celebrated clergyman recently said
that he had found more good in lad people,
and more bad in good people than be ever
expected.
Are dem bells ringing for fire%' asked
Pompey of Tiberius. NO" replied: Tiber-
Jus; .dey hab plenty of fire, and dey il
ringing de bells for WATER
-"Shroujs~ exclaimed an old lady, who
was listening to an old sea-captain's story
what do you have them at sea for" 10
bury dead Gains in. madam" replied the
old salt.
A man who was driving COW through
the streets of Waupun, Wis, was So much
frustrated BY sudden bow from a lady that
IN return he made bow 10 the COW and
threw stone al the lady.
A saloon keeper having started business
IN building where trunks had been made,
asked friend what he had better do with
the old scgn, Trunk Factory" "Oh,"
said the friend 'just change the I to d and
1t will suit You exactly"
81 say boy, is there ANYTHING to shoot
around here?" inquired a sportsman of q
boy he mad just met. "Well," replied the
boy, nothing just about here; but our
school master is just over the hills cutting
birch rods, you might walk up and pop him
over.'
A little boy, whose mother had assured
him present, was saying his prayers, pre-
paratory TO going 10 bed, but his mind run.
ming on a horse, he began, Our Father who
ART IN Heaven-ma won't you give me .
horse, thy kingdom come, with string
on it."
They have good joke on DR.. Eagan,
Of Chicago. He is great land operator, a.
we'll as successful physician. The Doctor
prescribed some pills for lady. She asked
how they were to be taken.
"a quarter down, and the balance in one,
two and three years"
As Judge Of the superior court was
delivering his decision in a case the other
day, he was interrupted by the vociferous
braylng OF donkey under one Of the win
dows Of the courtroom. "What il that"
testify asked the Judge, whereupon the law.
yer against whom he was decidiug the case,
arose and remarked: Its merely the echo Of
the court, your honor
This time he appears in New Haven,
where he is q horse-car conductor. Amount
$4,000; cause OF it, rich uncle in China.
There are now residing in Rome be-
tween thirty and forty American painters
and sculptors. Some of them have been
living there for thirty years.
A lady in Virginia, the other day, hear.
ing noise in the parlor, proceeded there,
and saw 10 her establishment, a large hog re-
posing comfortably in large arm chair.
The lad. at once routed him from his couch,
which he was very 10th to leave, and taking
the cushion of the chair in his mouth, car
ried it TO the from. door before he dropped it.
A "joke" is credited to All American
visitor in England. "Wal, stranger" he is
reported to have said, 81 guess YOU English
luries amt smart no how. Ii an Ameri-
jury had tried the Tichborne case, I'll tell
you what they'd have done They'd Just
bought up all he Tichborne bonds, and then
found verdict for the plaintiff
1t has recently been discovered that
graduate and bachelor of arts in one of the
Eastern colleges is woman, who, unsuspect-
ed, went through the entire collegiate course
under the style and habiliments of the
sterner sex. She was graduated in the class
OF 1869, and took high part in the com.
mencement programme.
"A colony of Quakers from Iowa il TO
settle on the line of the North Pacific Rail-
road, in Otter Tail County. This colony
will, among its branches of industry, estab-
lish an extensive nursery of fruit and forest
rees, if suitable location is found.
Monday night William Huston, menu
Der Ofthe Iowa City University, ate common
pickle and was soon taken with cramps. He
grew worse and worse, and early Wednesday
morning died. The doctors called it bilious
oollc, but were not certain what the exact
difficulty was.
An exchange INDUCES in the following
sensible reflections regarding ladies' head.
iresses at the theatre: "If . man were to
axe his seat at any place Of public gathering
Or amusement, and keep his hat on, he would
'e Missed or hustled out, or handed to the
police. But women, night after night, 20
with the most preposter0us pile of rigging ON
op of their heads, just as high as mems hats,
md keep the unhappy men behind, dodging
he never quiet pile, and never giving one |
clear view Of the stage or the per-
ormers. Perhaps it would be we'll to revive
he old, PGriianic text: Top knot, come
town."