The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-01-18
Whom 10 Marry.

Whom TO Marry.
The supplementary course of the Mercantile
Library Association, by female lecturers, does
not seem to receive large public sanction, as
City Hall, on the occasion of the two lectures
delivered, were less than three-quarters full
Miss Kate Stanton, the lecturer last evening,
is a brisk, smart little woman with short, curly,
masculine-cut hair, dressed neatly and modest
ly in black, with very little ornament. Her
voice is high and penetrating, well-modulated
and very expressive. She uses few gestures,
and reads her manuscript rapidly. So much
for the lecturer. Her theme, as already an
nounced, was, Whom to Marry. Using as
spacious basis for her remarks some recognized
and admitted physiological facts in regard to
the marriage relation, she glazed with fine
rhetoric the most obnoxious free-love doctrines.
She commenced her lecture by telling her audi
tors that, unlike the lyceum speakers whose ell
oquence was expended upon themes which
would not disturb their ease she came upon a
l mission in which the glad tidings might be
mingled with much which would conflict with
their time-honored sentiments. She believed
the time had passed when blind faiths could
not rule the advanced thinkers of the age. Sci
ence had undertaken and effected great re-
forms with everything but social laws. Her
infelicity now existing, whose wall was heard
all over the earth, rising from the monotone Of
common grief, born of disappointment and I'M
satisfied lOngings, up to- the wild soprano of
despair, telling of hearts crushed and hopes ex-
tinguished All that the Church had given was
the patrarchal system of pOlygamy at one end
of her history, and the isolated family system at
the other. Everywhere there was discomfort in
the family, as it exists to-day; there was too
much of suffering and dissatisfaction among its
,laara -OuQ uapda0 rpfoGm was that sopia-
ty should provide baby school for its infants,
where they could be cared for by few women,
to the relief of many mothers, the majority of
whom were unfit to rear their own children
Under the present system the average husband
was pitible object, but his condition was bet
ter far than that of the average wife, and both
were the major products of civilization which
vaunts its progress and counts its age by thou
| sands of years. In no path OF humane life had
| the race erred more than in this matter of mar
rage, yet in one sense the marital relation was
the basis of all society. If men ard women
| would heed the laws of nature which science
has already revealed, the work of redemption
would be easy, and all the these evils might be
| wrongs would yet be righted, even though the
| work should be slow. She did not wish to make
| war upon the present marriage system, for "dis-
erection was the better part of valor," but she
| was looking forward to the associated family
system, established on scientific principles, as
a remedy for some of the present evils. Socie-
ty would never be free until it had banished all
| false laws and learned at the feet of natural
science what it should do to be- happy. She
| believed there could be no true reform except
in a state of perfect social freedom, perfect
| freedom to do right and immunity from all
wrong. The reform most needed was in the
| domestic life of the times and hence her con-
clusion that ''whOm to marry" was as vital a
| question as the age presents. Woman suffrage
was near at hand and would work out much
| mod hut IL mite IlnlJn DOrtant acOmnari-
son with the reforms which society needs
ssWhom to Marry was a far more important
question; it was the basilar question for the
| good of the race, and not only should science
turn all her forces to its consideration but leg
islation should strive to carry out the laws OF
| true marriage as demonstrated by science The
right to be well born was primal right, and
the world would be better if it could be PEG.
pied for q few generations with only few
| good parents than cursed with the deformities
of the present She defined her ideal of pure
| marriage as a union of the sexes in love, love
hallowed and consecrated by the hopeaof eter.
nal loyalty and devotion. A marriage once
| pure might degenerate into the impure. Re
forms touching domestic life must be first
wrought out by women; to do this she must be
emancipated, and n'seeking her own freedom
she would do the other sex the highest possible
| good All would agree that it was fitting to
marry for love, and love at some time in every.
body's heart commanded respect. All the
world admired the lover, but how to keep him
| or her, or whom to marry" was the great
question. &.Hs Ae ,oAtbH eta - 10
Mis- Stanton then defined the grander love
which was the basis Of all true marriage, as
that which casteth out all fear; the love which
knows no envies, no jealousies, no selfshness
| the love which, love for loves sake. Without
| this marriage was mockery. In love each
party is entitled to all that can be gently wor
| and gently kept. Love should be above all .jeal
ousy and scorn all suspicion, and those who ac-
cepted less love might expect more or less
| misery.
| In conclusion she advised the men to MARX
healthy, large women; never to marry woman
who deprecated the virtue of her sex to marry
widow, for they were more sensible than girls
| and their love was apt to be richer than that Of
| an ignorant maiden. Above all, to marry an
| old maid, as they were harder to win more diff
ficult to please, and invaribly made the best
wives. To her sisters she gave the general ad-
vice to beware OF all men, but if they would
marry, let it be truly noble and free man; to
marry healthy man. for dyspeptic man was
the worst thing in household. Laugh and
| grow fat men were always good souls. A
news-vending man, unless he be a reporter fol
the press or an editor-for / must not forget
| these good folk, God bless them,' was almost
as vulgar being as news-yending woman.
| Above all marry only man of moral aourage.
She concluded with a reiteration of her BELIEF
| that only in perfect freedom could love become
pure and holy sf ss-.l 81 q ~ - 'fFsF
The next entertainment in the course will be
given on Wednesday evening next, and will
consist of readings and recitations by the popu
lar actress, Miss Kate Reynolds. t