National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-03-08
Facts and Farcies.

! Chicago has 1887 saloons, OF which
. 600 have no license.
Why does donkey eat a thistle I
this puzzle you.) Becluse he's an ass.
All the differenca-Thea ancients nrned
their dead, the moderns earn their living.
Two absurd young men want to be
admitted to vassar College because it il
leap year
The average age OF American clergy.
men who died last year was a fraction
over 81 years.
What is birth to man, il it shall be
q stain to his dead ancestors to have left
such an offspring?
Why might carpenters really believe
there is no such thing as stone A? Be-
cause they never saw it.
Why is a man never knocked down
against his will ? Because it is impossi-
BILE to fall unless inclined.
Alaska is wetted by rain $40 days in
TIE year, and dampened by fogs nearly
100 of the remaining 1875 days.
A writer from the African diamond
fields says he attended dance where
he saw sign which read "No gentle
man admitted d without pants"
Nearly two thousand miles of irrigat-
ing canals have been projected in Cali
fornia, which, it is said, will protect ten
million acres of land from drought.
A little girl asked her 81 ster what was
chaos, that her papa read about? The
other replied, at was great pile OF
nothing, and no place to put it in"
"What should you be, dearest" said
Walter to his sweetheart, elf was to
press the seal of love upon those sealing
wax lips ?" Il should be stationary"
married lady complained that her
husband had ill.used her. Her father,
hearing it, boxed her ears "Tell him
said the father if he beats my daughter
will beat his wife" Rather q pleasant
prospect for the lady.
Petrified trees have been found in
bog at Waterford, vt. In two instances,
me huge pine stump was found resting
lpol another, indicating that the latter
rec grew after the first had fallen, the
eed having been deposited on its stump.
We have always thought, says the New
FORK Express, that the ladies might have
heir ear rings of some practical value,
specially in travelling, if, for instance,
hey would wear a good-sized valise in
ne ear, and an ordinary lunch-basket
\ the other.
won an applied to magistrate the
ther day for warrant against neigh
or, saying, "She called me thief,
our honor Can't l make her prove
?" Perhaps you can," quietly re-
lied the magistrate, "but if l were
Oh | wouldn't do it,"
A Sheboygan wisconsin, woman en-
red a saloon the other evening where
er husband was carousing, and after
Ipostulating with broomstick to the
lrkeeper and two or three other men in
e place, soundly whaled her husband,
I'd then led him home by the collar.
Says an Illinois paper: During the
Id weather the city editor of the Jack
nville Journal iroze his ears about a
OF deep They are to be amputated
the second Joint, but his many fiiends
Il be reJoiced to know that, in spite of
G accident, he still has an ample stock
t all the purposes of his position.
A young Frenchman, who has been
,covered in Utica in condition of
sanity from disappointed love, has the
culiar freak of insisting that he is
ilty of passing counterfeit money. He
cred genuine greenbacks to several
rsons, and then attempted to get him
f arrested for showing the queer"
At school concert the pastor, who
ded himself on the quickness and
of his little ones, said, Boys,
en- ] heard your beautiful song to
int, l had to work hard to keep my
t still. Now what do you think was
matter with them?" The answer
ne with great promptness, "Chill-
inth !"
The physician attending young lady,
o had her entire scalp taken of by
machinery in button factory at
lgatuck, nearly year ago, is replac-
the skin by transplaniing pieces of
q from other parts of her body and
N other persons. Three-fifths of the
lnded surface is al. eady very success.
Y covered.
Cincinnati woman lately bailed her
band out of the station house, where
much indulgence in the flowing bowl
sent him, with the proceeds of her
, which was unusually long and beau
!. He on his part grieved SO much
is faithful wife's surrendering her
lty for his sake, procured divorce,
is expected to marry another woman
d early day.