The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-06-04


A Pacific paper says: A fellow in
Oregon thought he would be smart,
and just have little fun with young
lady on whom he had waited two or
three times. He asked her what she
would do if a ce-looking young fell
low asked her to marry him. She
smiled, oh, SO gushingly, and looked
good enough to eat, but said nothing.
Then he asked her what she would say
If he asked her to marry him. She
threw her arms around him, and rush
ed out of the room for her hat and
shawl. The poor fellow says he was
never married so sudden in his life.
Probably that was the nearest she ever
came to being asked, and she thought
foollng around with sentiment would
be dangerous.
Among the diversions of residence
in Florida is an occasional fight with
an alligator in the streets. A party
Of Northern gentlemen in St. Angus
tine encountered one of these unpleas-
ant reptiles a few days ago, and he re-
fused to let them pass with their team.
They left the carriage, and after
spirited conflict with cudgels, dispatch
ed the obstinate saurian, and bore him
off to be stuffed.
ga wretch, friend of ours, broke
off an engagement for the following
cogent reason: "You know a case isl
fearful nuisance, and | always carry
my cigars loose in my vest pocket. The
necessary amount of affection toward
Molly was awful rough on 'em. Never
came away from that house but every
one of 'em was smashed Couldn't
expect fellow to waste good tobacco
that way, could you?"
There is nothing so affecting in
child as certain sweet inborn spirit
Of selfabnegation. Sammy was q lit
tie boy, at school in village far from
his home. One day his father came to
see him, and they took walk together.
Meeting the principal of the school,
Sammy performed the ceremony Of in
PRODUCTION. "Mr. S." said he "this is
latner OF mine.
A young lady in Camden, N. Y.
last week dropped newspaper on
the bridge. A young gentleman, who
had not kept posted with the fashions,
picked it up and offered it to the young
lady. She Indignantly repudated the
ownership, and he is wondering what
made her look so mad,
Two guileless Iowa maidens induced
two jocose Iowa youths to 90 through
the marriage ceremony with them
',just for fun" This done, the guile
less females produced previously-pre-
pared licenses and certificates, and
the jocose individuals are now at lib
erty to repent at leisure.
A case was being tried before Pres.
bytery, when the counsel for the de-
teudent urged the plea of moral in
sanity. A venerable Presbyter said:
"Mr. Moderator, this disease of moral
insanity seems to me to be identical
with what the older theologians, in
their unscientific way, call total de-
pravity."
a lady in Atlanta tied her hus.
bands hands and feet the other day,
just for fun, and then went through
his pockets for n certain billet doux,
and found it. His physician tells him
that his face won't be badly Scared,
though he may remain permanently
bald.
AS a gentleman was telling his
friend, that Il mutual acquaintance
was sent to the Penitentiary for gross
intoXication, he was asked why he did
not bail him out. "Bale him outr'
he replied, "why you could not pump
him out"
Smith and Jones were at the
menagerie, and the conversation turn
ed on Darwin's theory. Look at that
monkey" said Smith. "Think of its
being an undeveloped humanw "Hu.
mani" said Jones, contemptuously.
Its no more human than | am"
A country editors sole editorial in
one weeks issue Of his paper was to
the effect that if anything will make
man feel juicy about the heart, it is to
talk velvet to pair of sky-colored
eyes, by moonlight in a clover field.
Peru, Indiana, has a remarkable
chorus society. A local sheet says:
"The soprano reached high G without
any effort, and the basso profundo
made run Of the gallery stairs, strik-
ing b fiat in sitting position"
An irate colored female on IA Ten.
nessee train, failing to find the expect
ed prize in some prize" candy boxes
sold her, pitched into the newsboy
and gave him a sound thra.hing.
The Hartford Post says two-thirds