The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-09-19
when is coffee real estate2 when it

When is coffee real estate? When it's
ground.
- Josh Billings says: I don't reckoleckt
now ov ever hearing ov two dogs fighting, un-
less there was q man or two around.
= There is more truth than poetry in the
following line from an advertisement: "Babies
having taken one bottle of my soothing syrup
will never cry any more"
- The Chicago Journal concludes that
Grant "never had the slightest pretentions to
oratorical gifts" Exactly, says the Buffalo
Courier, but when it comes to other gifts, he
turns his back to no man.
"A young lady says that gentleman
might never feel discouraged when the momen-
tous question is negativcd by the object of his
choice, "for in life, as in grammar, we always
decline before we conjugate."
Am Indiana man took friend home to
tea the other evening, without giving his wife
notice. That night she talked herself into a
paralysis of the tongue. Now all the men in
the neighborhood are sending for friends and
taking them home at all hours.
A lady was one day walking through the
streets of London, when the tray of a butch.
er's boy came in contact with her and soiled
her dress. "The deuce take the tray!" she
exclaimed angrily. "Ah, but the deuce can't
take the tray" replied the boy.
1t has been noticed as fact that during
the recent terrible thunder storms the lightning
has never done any damage in cities of any
considerable size. Undoubtedly the iron which
in buildings, railroads. telegraph lines, etc.,
dissipates the electric fluid so rapidly and COM
pletely as it approaches the earth that it is
rendered harmless.
- Ir certain church a contribution was to
be taken. Having no boxes, the ministers hat
was borrowed. It was passed all around the
church, and report says nothing was put in it.
AS the hat was returned to the pulpit, the min
lister looked into it, and seeing it empty, said /:
"Well, brethren, am very much obliged to
you for returning my hat"
- Every young man, after he has chosen his
vocation, should stick to it. Don't leave it
because hard blows are to be struck, or disa-
greeable work to be performed. Those who
have worked their way up to wealth and USE
fulness do not belong to the shiftless and un-
stable class, but may be reckoned among such
as took off their coats, rolled up their sleeves,
and conquered their prejudces against labor,
and manfully bore the heat and burden of the
day.
Down in Maine the intercourse between
Judges and witnesses seems now and then to
be of that pleasant colloquial sort that might
be emulated with advantage elsewhere. Judge
T, for an example, who held a late term of
the Supreme Court at Saco, besides being
learned in matters legal, is also an excellent
judge of horsc-tcsh. On the trial of horse
case, one of the parties, who was also wit
ness, Grace by name, not being so clear in his
testimony as the Judge thought desirable, was
asked by him to describe the animal more
minutely. "Why, Judge, all you Saco fellers
know that air hoss. Twas the Bill Littlefield
hoss that AL. Hodgkins use to drive" was the
minute, clear, and ready reply, in patronizng
tone. The "Saco feler" on the bench smiled
audibly, till the Sheriff "felcr' called "Ordcr
in the Court w