The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-06-22
8estern Stenrs.
A NEVADA FUNERAL.

Besides the mirth provoking drollery
Of the following sketch, Mark Twain
has given US an apt illustration of how
two men speaking the same language
may, by the use Of slang on the one side
and display OF learning Ou the other,
be as uninteligiblc as though one spoke
Choetaw and the other Chinese:
There was u great time over Buck
Fanshaw when he died. lie was a re.
preScntativc citizen. lie had KILLED
his man"-not in bis own quarrel, it is
true, but in the defense Of stranger
beset by numbers. lie had kept a sump
tuous saloon He had been the pro.
prietor Of dashing helpmeet, whom he
could have discarded without the for.
mnlity Of divorce lie had held a
high position in the fire department,
and had been a very Warwick in poll.
tics. When he died there was great
lamentation throughout the town, but
especially in the vast bottom stratum OF
society.
On the inquest it was shown that
Buck Fanshaw, in the delirium CT a
wasting typhoid fever, had taken arse.
nlc, shot himself through the body, cut
his throat, aud jumped out of four.
story window and broken his neck; aud
after due deliberation, the jury, sad aud
fearful, but with intelligence uublinded
BY ITS sorrow, brought in verdict OF
death "by the visitation Of God" What
could the world do without juries ?
Prodlglous preparations were made
for the funeral All the yehielesin the
town were hired, all the saloons were
put in mourning, all tho municipal and
fire company flags were hung at half
mast, and all the fremen ordered to
muster in uniform, aud briug ther ma
chimes duly draped in black.
Regretlul resolutions were passed and
various committees appointed. among
others, a committee of Que appointed to
call on a minister fragile. gentle,
spiritual new tledgling from an eastern
theological seminary, and as yet unao.
qualnted with the ways of the mines.
Inc committee man, "Seotty" Briggs,
made his visit
Being admitted to his presence. he
sat down before the clergyman, placed
his lire hat on an unfinished mannscrint
sermon under the minister's nose took
from it red silk handkerchief, wiped
his brow, aud hoaved a sigh Of dismal
impressiyeness explanatory OF his busi.
ness. lie choked and even shed tears.
but with an effort he mastered hi, voice
aud said 10 lugubrious tones
Are you tie duck that runs the
gospel-mlil next duor?p
Il am the-pardon me, believe |
do not understand 4"
With another sigh and a half sob
"Scotty" rejoined:
Why, you see, we are in a Bit OF
trouble, and the boys thought may be
you'd give US lift, if we d tackle YOU.
that is, il I've got the rights of it, aud
you are tho head clerk OF the doxolopy
works next door"
Il am the shepherd in charge of the
flock whose fold is next door.
"The which 7"
The spiritual adviser of the little
company Of believers whose sanctuary
adjoins these premises"
Ssotty scratched his head, reflected a
moment, aud then said:
"Hou rather hold over me, pard. |
reckon | can't call that hand. Ante
and pass the buck"
"llowl | beg your pardon. What
did | understand you to sayp
"Well, you've rather got the bulge
on me. Or maybe we've both got the
bulge somehow. You don't smoke me
aud | don't smoke you. You see one OF
the boys has passed in his checks. and
we want to give him a good send off
and SO the thing I'm now on is TO rout
out somebody to jerk little chin.music
for us, and waltz him through hand.
somely."
My friend, seem to grow moro and
more bewildered. Your observations
are wholly incomprehensible to me
Cannot you simplify them some way |?
At first | thought perhaps understood
you, but now | grope Would it not
expedite matters ii you restricted your.
sell to categorical statements Of fact un
incumbcredwith unobstruetiug aeoumu.
laIions Of metaphor aud allegory."
Another pause, aud more reelection.
Then Scotty said:
"Ill have to pass, judge"
Glow Z"
"You'vc raised me out, pard.p
II still fail to catch your meaning"
"Why, the last lead Of yourn is too
many for me-that's the idea can I
neither trump nor follow suit"
The clergyman sank back in his chair
Scotty leaned his head on