Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-04-25
OUK APPETIZER.

To Poultry keepers--Is there
any difference between hcu stealing
and coeSrobln?
An Australian has a false eye,
made of All emerald aud diamond.
lie consider. his sight priceiess.
Pa, was asked the other day if
he understood French. Yes, yer
honor, If it, spoken in Irish"
Three Mieigan girls were fnci
Is for cutting up in church"
Now may be if some Of our Wis.
consin girls in the chors, were 'inei
for cutting up" '.wou!l 90 en-
good. May be
The newest color out is called
the burnt lovs.letler tint"
The most definite description u
woman conll give of her baby Was
kinder fat, with calico jrrss on."
A lady widowed by the Chicago
opnilagration has been recently re.
married. Her second husband calls
Ler his relic OF tho great tire.
Stranger ito Mormon) care
yon saiats sealing many wives nav
a.days ?" No, we are eonceliiay
those we already have
Miss Ellen l.. Fletcher, Of
Charleston, N. H., having learned tho
trade, has opened jewelers. shop,
aud the watches OF all tho young men
in town are out Of order in conse-
qnence.
--Smindlcrs tried to scducc West.
ern man on q railroad train into bot.
ting that he could open "A patent pal,
lock which they carried about. IIo
took the bet aud opened the lock with
4 sledge hammer.
"A firm in Dubuque received a
five dollar bill the other day, upon
which WIS inscribed TINS is tho
last Of fortune of $50, 900 given to
me by my mother. All spent in dis
-ipa,Ion, anl this will go tonight.
O1tober %, 1867"
-" Mrs. Muhin," said visitor,
Emily has yoar features, but think
she has her tattor's hair "Oh, now
SEES said the dear little Emma.
" It's because have fathers hair that
he has got to wear a wig"
"A drunken Irishman, on being
told that his Incorporate habits would
soon make his poor wife n widow.
was quite affected, aud exclaimed: :
Och faith it al make me tho
wretchedcst man in the wur rIl to
live to see Mrs. Coons n widdcr!
A youthful novice iE smoain,
TUNED deadly pale an | threw his a.
gar away. 80, daar ~ he said,
'tbere'- sunr' IN in that cigar that's
ma<in' mo sick a know what
it is" said his companion, lntidg
away. What?' Tobacker,'
"A gentleman Of ripe age was
conrrinC a rich widow. See. nam
n.y. said her small son, who was
pIay,ng. in the room, this poor Mr..
Bnnhnmme has lost all his back hair.
Wont you give him some Of yours
which you bought today"
In the Ga11rv Clnbroom, n
good story is told Of n College Presi-
dent, who, meeting or the cars n s.u.
dent whose character for sobricty was
not good, and whose then M.
pearancc evidenced recent hrbauch.
.ppr"achea him. aud solcmniv and
regretfully said, " Been on n drunk ?"
$50 have |. was the immediate reply.
Witty, bn, severe Madame B,li
yer having tried in van 10 yet pay tor
some cravais vhich n Young fop hat
houyht Of her. at last sent in her bill
in this style 1.-TWO dozen fancy sat
in policemen, 200 francs" +" What
- yon mean What are satin police.
men ? asked tho dandy. Your
cravats, for they take a thief by tho
throat every moaning"
| 49," Abaencc m,kcs tho heart grow
fonder somebody else srns.bly
adds young lady friend of ours.
--ff yon find \ newspaner curi"usly
folded, lying on n bah room floor,
don't ask stupid questions about il.
1t Is asserted that men would At.
tend church regularly ifihey were
only allowed to smoke in the sanGtu
| AIRY.
Mark Twain sAys: I" am differ.
eni from Washington !; ! have high.
or and crander standard "f principle.
Washington could not lie.--l can lie,
but won't"
, Josh Billings says Of a mule, that
he il larger than the goose or tur'
ker he has tow legs to stand on, and
two to kick with; his wings aro stu
ated on the top Of his head.
--"I want Young Mans Cum
panion," said spruce customer TO
bookseller" "Very WE'LL" said the
bookseller, picking up volume,
Here's my Only Daughter"
"A Missouri woman recently clop.
ed, leaving the following note to com
4 81 ~