The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1872-02-01
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FLOATING PARAGRAPHS.

FLOATING PARAGRAPHS.
Why is new axe like coffee 1t must
be ground before used
| Some girls are like old muskcts; they
use good deal OF powder but won't 60
off,
| The attempt to use fish scales for weigh
ing purposes has not proved successful
Should old acquaintance be forgotten?
Not if they have money.
he officer who arrested the man in
tentions has been promoted.
The man who was filed with emotion
hadn't room for any dinner.
A pleasant kind of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
ing widow weeds.
Cash advances-attentio to a rich
widow.
1t is as impossible to get money out of
miser as to cut mutton-chops out of o
battering ram.
A young man who keeps collection
of locks of hair Of his lady friends, calls
them his hair-breath escapes.
When you go to drown yourself. always
pull off your clothes; they may fit your
wife S second husband.
did it rain tomorrow ?" inquired a
Dutchman ola Frenchman. me guess
it wass, replied the Frenchman.
Talking of the war;" says Pat MUIR
ply. show horrible it is to bear the sti-
fled groans of the dying, together with
the shrieks of the dead"
A man advertises few choice rattle
snakes for sale, and appends hint to
such as do not wish to purchase, that
they must not handle the goods.
A Frenchman cannot pronounce Ship
The word is ''sheep" in his mouth. See
ing an ironclad he said to a boy, "Ish
dish war sheep?' mo-" answered the
boy, sits a ram"
IAN exchange offers this tempting in
ducement: All subscribers paying in ad.
vance will be entitled to frst-class obit
uary notice, in case of DEATH
If ours would pay, we would be more
generous, and give them one, whether
they died or not
A Western editor informs correspon-
dent that the words mo cards." accom-
panyipg marriage notice. signify that
the pair don't play cards.
A Lady had her dress trimmed with blu
giles before going to ball Her little
daughter wanted to know if the bugles
would blow when she danced. ''Oh, no, +"
said the mother, papa will do that when
he sees the bill -
A loving wife in Connecticut sent a
note to newspaper, announcing her hus-
bands death as follows: dear John is
dead: Loss covered by Insurance.
May it please your Honor" exclaim
ed juryman, Il am deaf in one ear "
Then you may be excused, as it is neces-
saary for juror to hear both Sides" said
the Judge.
I he Grand Duke when helrd to some
turkey, said. All" bless me. Yes that
the dish my father is always hankering
after.
A man up in Portsmouth named bis
two children Ebenezer and Flora, and al
ways spoke to them as 'Eb.' and Flo.
Tide-y names.
Little boy, can go through this gate
to the river?' politely inquired fash
ionable dressed lady per APPS SO; load
of hay went thro' this morning." was the
horrid reply.
As the passengers were preparing te
leave their seats, On the arrival of the
New York train in Boston the other eve.
ming, an old gentleman picked up dark
object which appeared to drop from q
lady bonnet.
Madame, is this your7 You appear
to have dropped it by accident
THANK you SIR (placing her hand te
her head ia railroad accident-,a mis-
placed switch"
The agriculturist who, at the Oakland
agricultural fair. put in jar of castor OF
for the honey prem ium, did not get even
an honorable mention. The judges re
port against keeping bees near castor bear
| Dlantations.
"a young girl in Portland sneezed her
shoulder blade out Of joint. Ed. Mex
week this Interesting female will turn W
in Omaha and cough out her elbow.
Civilization in Kentucky marche
with the. slow and intrepid tread Of a jack
ass toward peck of oats. The Senate
by vote of 20 to Is, has permitted col
orcd people to testify in the courts.
Mr. Kellogg, of Indianapolis, felt of
buzz saw to see if it was going. 1t was
The quickest way for man to forget al
common miseries is to wear tight boots
A temperance editor, in drawing at
tention to an article against ardent spirit
in one of his papers, says: For th'
Effects of Intemperance, see our inside. '
A man in Danbury discovered tina
powder fried in lard was good for boils
Ee tried it. The stove cover is in tn
second story now, though most all tn
rest of the stove has been collected. H
was deceived in his lard. he says. Dan
hmm Nelra