Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-10-10
fatt, fun aud fantp.

- Nelther death nor lie IS as serious rs lnaT-
riage. Yet nothing is entered into half so
thoughtlessly.
An Ohio lawyer included in his bill
against his client: To waking up in the night
and thinking about your case-ten dollars"
-"Let the toast be, dear as woman,' as the
man said to his wife, when he wanted to eat it
all himself
There is never man so bad, says cele-
brated writer, but some woman loves him and
has faith in him.
- An exchange wanting to compliment
olive stock journal" says it is edited by a man
whose head is full of live stock.
We might enjoy mucL peace if we would
not busy ourselves with the words and deeds
of others.
The only way to keep all your friends and
make no enemies is to speak we'll of people
when names are mentioned to you, but never
to speak of any one to third party.
- Gentlemen having hip-pockets in their
pantaloons should be sure to push their pock-
ct handkerchief to the bottom thereof, as it
looks suspicious below short coat-ta:ls.
1t has been estimated that if all the phys
ical force expended in the West in single
season, in shaking with the fever and ague
could be applied to machinery, it would run
all the mills and factories in the country.
- Connecticut should be credited with the
LATEST fisherman. The individual in question
is fifteenth amendment" who ties his fish
line to his dog, and when he gets bite, kicks
the dog.
"A man who'd maliciously set fire to q
barn." said old Elder Podson, "and burn up
stable full of horses and COWS, ought to be
kicked to death by jackass, and I'd like to
be the one to do it"
A lady teacher was endeavoring to i'm
press upon her pupil the terrible punishment
of Nebuchadnezzar, saying, "Seven years he
ate grass like cow" when a boy asked ::
"Did he give milk?"
A grocer being solicited to contribute to
the building of a new church, promptly sub
scribed his name to the paper in the following
eccentric manner John Jones (the only
place in town where you can get II pounds
good sugar for dollar,) 25 cents.
An old agricultural laborer in England
tried singular method of evangelizing his
family. Being demonstrated with by the pas
tor for not "bringing up" his boys as he should,
he replied II dunno how it's, sir. [ order
'em down to pray night and morning, and
when they won't go down knocks 'em down,
and yet they amt good?'
An obliging gentleman, who thinks such
personal favors do not cost much while they
make friends, was applied to by colored man
for certificate Of character, by which he
mightget a situation. The testimonial proved
to be even more complimentary than Scipio
himself had expected and that worthy on
recovering his astonishment, exclaimed "Say,
Mr.. -, won't you glib me something to do
yerself on dat recommendation?
The spouse of recently deceased umbrel-
la vender, noted for his knack in "putting up"
damaged small wares, on meeting beloved
friend for the first time after her heavy loss,
with sudden outgush of tears and lamenta-
tions, threw her arms around the callers
neck-whose bosom was frig htened with tender
sympathy for the mourner-broken heartedly
exclaimed "My dear, dear Marcus is lost to
me forever-and oh it seems as though l
must die, when I think how nicely he always
repaired my broken hoopskirts."
-"Well, Sam, I'll tell you how it is. You
see married widder, and this widder had
daughter" 20, yes! see how it is. You
have been making love to this daughter? ??
"No worse than that. You see my father
was widower, and he married this daughter,
so that makes my father my son-in-law, don't
it? Well, don't you see how I'm mixed up?'
"Well, sir, is that ALI" "No, only wish it
was. Don't you see, my step-daughter is my
step.nother, amt she? Well, then, her moth
er is my grandmother, amt she? Well, I'm
married to her, amt I? So that makes me
nv OWE grandfather, doesn't it ?"