Connecticut western news., 1872-08-09
ODDS AND ENDS.

The gentle fly is seeking whom he may devour.
 The only crop that. grows by gas light is "Wild oats."
 A Water Privilege-Attending temper ance pic-nic.
 'shoo, fly, don't bodder me, is the uni versal cry now a-days.
 Rum is bill of exchange on some state prison or almshouse-sure.
 liturgy for G-!" This is piece of ingenuity from an independent journal.
 It shouldn't be forgotten that next month is the time when that comet will come along and e-upset our apple carts."
 It is just as impossible to get along with out advertising as it is for cross eyed man to borrow a gun.
 A Chicago dry goods dealer advertises ''The most alarming sacrifice since the day of Abraham and Isaac."
 "They fired two shots at him." wrote an Irish reporter. "Ihe first shot killed hlm, but the second was noc fatal"
 An irritable man, who was disappointed in his boots, threatened to eat up the shoe- maker, but compromised by drinking a cobber.
 John O'Keefe, newsboy, has won, in a competitive examination kat New York, the nomination for a cadetship at the Naval Academy.
 The to, al annual circulation of Newspa- pers printed in the State of New York is 592, ITO, sGs, being twice the number printed in any other state.
 There is town out west called Random, A resident of the place being asked where he lived, said that he lived at Random. He was taken up ss vagrant. A wel!-known journalist went up to one of the United St sses marine band and asked: ..Parlez vous An glais?" ''Yer sowl to the devil, why not2" asked the marine.
 The best way to muzzle a dog-Put the muzzle just behind the ear, and pnll the trigger. No dog nrnzzled in this way will ever bite anyone.
 One of our pill grinders is about town with coat-tail-pocket filled with green apples which he offers to the unwary' Look out for him.
 1 An Indian town has the following dog ordinance: Dogs that are not collared and labeled, no matter how re specially connect cd, will have their narratives amputated one inch south of their ears-" l An active newsgatherer at St. Johnsville made rapid time to a store in that neighbor hood on information that a man had got shot there ten minutes previously. The obliying merchant told him that man go a pound of shot and paid for it.
 West of the Mississippi river the United States still owns 973, 4s2, ,593 acres distribu ted as follows: Missouri, Iowa and Arkan sas, lO,OOO,OOO Dacotah and Wyoming l45, ,296, 2s4; Montana, s6,9O4 ,695; Kansas 43, l40 ,O76; Nebraska, 52,523, ,697; Colara do aud Idaho, 117,8Oo,OOO; New Mexico and Utah, 224, 140, GOO; Nevada and Arlzo na, 136, ,OoO,o ,oOQ; Minnesota, 36,s76,l7o Indian Territory, 151, 900. A Sacramento telegraph office is rddin! itself of loafers The Bee says: "A bo1 running the full length of the front of tn office on the outside has heretofore furnish ed tempting seat for the habitus. Thi has been covered with zinc which has beel connected with the batteries that were con tained in the box. A person sitting upo the box without touch ing his hands there to will not feel the electricity, but it hi hands drop on the box, or he puts ther thereon to assist him in rising, he receive such sudden and astonishing shock sends him an unbelievable number ot fec toward the lofty roof and the adjacent river
 Any good day person may see some O unfortunates, unexpectedly struck with thi domesticated lightning, describing fifty feet parabola in the air."