The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-11-30
MARSEILLES.
A DeinOralized Village-EpizOOtic
Attacking Full Grown Wen
fsachelOG'H-lIOV &C.

miles cas-. of Ottawa, some distance back, conse.
qaently tine people there have mild ways
milds away.
The principal business Of the people is gossip
those who don't sip ths., SIP something more
binding. When they get out of gossip they 60
fishing. 1t beats all how six inch wsll-eyed
pike will grow in few minutes in the hands OF
Msrseilles Fisher. I'VE don't mean Frankly
Frank is the mos. unscrupulously honest man
in Marseilles. When he inadvertently gets coal
out Of a neighbours coal house all winter, he new.
er lets the man know anything about it until
warm weather mex. summer, when it gets 90
bllmy that no can warm eggs under the skylight
OF his office, and then he initiates G. Washing
toL--owns up to the blunder, attributes it to 4
defect in his west eye. and agrees to pay for the
coal soon as he cuts his Hay. Hay is his bo-
som friend, whose acquaintance he never means
to cut This creates acoldness between him and
the other party but its s-,cared away in time.
Formerly Durham, formerly of Ottawa.-lat.
terly of Chicago-is now.ly at the Beckwith
house. He has charge Of the billiard rooms and
the lower regions Of that popular hostslry. Ho
welcomed US cordially, called US his e,.steamed
friend, though we had no steam on then. He
offered us the freedom of the bar. We told him
we would begin now. He regretted that he was
out Of gia and said he meant Jim Barr, the
livery m An at Seneca.
We saw Beckwith and Pilling, of the hotel.
When the former saw Us he greeted US with
IL -,
answered, because the hog we ordered for break.
fast wasn't of sufficient size for our dinner" We
retorted angrily, "What do you take US for: are
we Beemus, or are we hog?" He penslvely
apologized. He said, at makes no difference,
its the same thing" Beckwith is remarkably
awkward as joker. When Pilling saw US he
almost IiftedIup his voice and wept'. The next
we cav OF him, he was armed with a butcher
knife. chasing pig in the back lot. Agoodfel.
low Pil!n' is, and by no cans the worst Pill.in'
the box,
In company with Willis, of Ottawa, who psr.
suades the dulcet bow over the tuneful fiddle,
we undertook to make friendly call on Shlagel,
the postmaster. AS soon as that prudent officer
saw US he securely locked himself in his den and
sadly thrust his benign by circumference in
the windy of the boxes. We pretended we had
come to inquire for letter for one John Jones'
While he was looking for il we left.
Shlagel is q terrible slayer of female hearts,
being an extremely good looking fellow. His
name is sufficient, S!aygal. He has over four
dozen broken, busted, damaged aud bruised girls
hearts in his back office. He ties EN- in punches
and hangs EN- up like beets in u cellar for win.
| ter use.
Dr.. DeMott one Of the finest single gentlemen
Of oar acquaintance, has just built himself fine
brick residence, one Of the best in the elty.
When we asked him if ne had woman engaged
to put in that domicile, he denied the soft i'm.
pcachDlent. We sQuelched him with the obser.
walton that: Chickens of the rooster persuasion
seldom build rest unless they have hen in
view Whats TO hen-dcr him from getting a
mite!
The women OF Marseille. are all pretty and
sweet--.hey live on sweets. The men are rice
rerSd, and u consequence are all ugly and Bit
ter They must live on bitters at dollar u bot.
tie.
Eddy, at the livery stable, has the epizootlc.
The first symptoms were al sntpathy, as it
were, to work. Then he refused drink (water,)
and his nose became loose. When any one
brought him water he would neigh" just like n
horse; show him whisky, he would whinny Just
as natural. He lie better now, and begin. to feel
his oats. McCalla has i. too, alyhoush he be.
comes day older every twenty.four hours he
has Young as partner.
Cats around Matselles bold singing schools
every night. The cats that sing tonor climb up
the ornamental trees in front OF Dow's beautiful
residence, and the higher they climb, the higher
the tenor Thev are thus cnshled to go mp tc
&c" This thing has been going on until the
bark and tender limbs have been scratched off
most e;reeriousy.
We saw dog down near Nor'on's mills. The
bark hsd probably been taken out OF him ia tn,
Same way. The dog was de ID.
Baldwin, thu merchant, il quite angry. Err
ring brothers Of the temperance society hav,
learned that Bildwius back door affords easy
safe and secret access t, the back door of Willis
saloon. These Temperance coves go boldly int,
Baldwin's store, slip through to willis, stay
few hours, and then gsope their way out through
Baldwins front door, and cautiously lean NJ
against dry goods box. and pretend to hav
been in buying goods of Baldwin, though OF
ten confused thst they nave to shut one eye 3
as to see how to pick their teeth, hounde
around on his front stops and solcmnly asseverat