Daily national Republican. (Washington City [D.C.]) 1870-1872, 1872-03-28
The Story OF Two Gentlemen who Sent Brandy
CoekIalla 10 John D. Cough.

Keep your seat, said !, as my friend rose
10 goI 81 cannot help remarking that old
boomerang joke attempted to he played upon
Cough by everybody's pet humorist, Mark
Twain, aud that FalstailiaH joklst the Fat
Contributor. II has been told before, but !
should like TO repeat 1t, stripping the story
from the talsohoods by (which II was formerly
embellished."
selves together Of the Sherman house, In
Chicago, B. r., (before the fre.)
Drifting about In search Of the picturesque,
they followed the human stream till TO wear
the metaphor throadbare) they stranded on q
bar, Mr., Cough was staying at the house at
the timo, and, being unwell, had retired
early. A bright idea struck Twaln's restless
mind. "Let's send him up a cocktail"
idea voted good and acted upon. Waiter
arrived at Mr.. Coughs room. "SOme mis-
take; never touch liquor" Waiter positive;
Mr.. Cough more so.
On the way down 1t occurred to the darkey
that II was q pity the cocktail should be
right at the bar. Twain and Girls, Intensely
delighted, thought they had caught the lee
turer mapping. Lets send him up another"
said Girls. Same result; cocktail recelpted
home by darkcy. Excitement at fever heat.
Give him brandy, strongl shouted Twain.
Disappearance Of darkey-ditto cocktail.
Report satisfactory; and the precious pair
put their heads together and were eoncocting
plan 70 mix liquors on the temperance man
when Mr.. Cough entered the bar-rOom, ap-
preached our heroes, and Saidi
~ am afraid you rest under a misRppre-
hensiou. Seeing that am being made the
ylctim Of some practical Joke, ! followed the
waitor down, aud saw him drink the liquor
that ] supposed You thought 1 had used.
You will please refrain from sending any
more up, as have not felt the need OF such
drinks for years"
a.. l. A..
Twain he says tho Fat Contributor retired
within himself like CREASED telescope" but
further says that he Twain "was never In
Chicago; didn't know there was a sherman
house, etc.
weil-take care of yourself. Toledo Blade
On Saturday last Mrs. Catherine OLeAry
entered the city collectors Office for the pur-
pose Of paying the tax upon the lot where
originated the Ore that should be spelled with
a capital II. The assessment upon tue prop
erty was el0 but 10 consideration Of the dis
tingulAhed greatness thrust upon Chicago by
the hind leg OF the ladys COW, ard, under the
one dollar was made. Some iaeelious clerk
In the Office OF the commissioner Of taxes had
illuminated the ladys rebate paper. He drew
the COW with the crumpled heel that shattered
the lamp. A llielike expression was given to
the heel, which, Mrs. 0Leary declared, was
just buCu uttl hlO pun hNAu
gone COW herself had. The lady herself was
represented like the mother OF Prlam when
Troy was burning. Sue ran barefoot up and
down, threatnlng the flames, wearing q
blanket 10 the alarm oil fear caught up. IL
II hadn't been for Mrs. O'Leary distinguished
animal the board Of rebate would never have
been In existence, and II Is thought that they
would have done nothing more than gem
erous action 10 have Tebated the tax alto
gether.-C Chicago Post, March IS.
THE CAFE DIAMOND fIELDs.-The news
received from the diamond fields lately has
not been important. Tho ''linds' at De
Beers had been quite up to the average, aud
''clalIna" at Du Tots Pan were said 10 be
Cooking up" II was reported that good
stone OF $50 oarats bad been unearthed at
Colesborg Kopje by a man named NOorstel-
ling but the rumor required confirmation
A diamond weighing % carats, belonging TO
Mr.. dc Willlers, had been exhibited 10 Port
EliEabsth. II was OF good shape, but OIL
eolored. The news received from England
OF q fall In the value Of diamonds, had had q
nv depressing effect upon local spectators
sc gems, and for the present Opeultlona
1t entirely ceased, pending the re-
70 favorable adylees. Eotwith-
fall In the price Of diamonds, u
I'm az the New Rush was sold the
or four thousand dollars, Biz
Is been sehding out sham dla-