The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-02-23
PLAIN DEALER.

A Grant official in the south is
recognized as a man "who can steal in
four languages and lie with his hands
tied behind him.
An Illinois clergyman forbade any
further contributions under five cents,
saying that "the windows mite bus
ness is played out here
A lady in London got the idoa into
her head that the deyel was in her and
hung herself. If women 60 to hanging
themselves for a little thing like that,
they are going to be scarce, that s
all.
Nineteen panoramas of the Chicago
fire, and none of them such as a
dweller in Chicago would recognize, are
on exhibition.
Grace Greenwood acknowledges tia
s'man is a grand creature, even if he is
little stingy about the franchise
"Ma, this milk is better than yester-
days milk was Don't say that child;
say there's more milk in this water
than there was in the water we got
Yesterday
1t is because we are dissatisfied with
ourselves that we are 50 anxious to
have others think well Of us, and were
we concious of meriting their good, we
would care less for their ill opin;-
ons.
The three stages of Darwinism are
now said to be positive, tail: compare
tive, tailor: superlative, tailless!
Always be ready to speak your mind
and base man will avoid you.
a letter directed to "Y&.' has been
floating about the country for year,
and has finally been sent to its distn-
alton, which is Wyandotte, Kansas
A man from the country whose vile
had eloped and carried off the fcatlel-
bed, was in search of them; not that he
cared anything about his wife, 'but
the feathers, said he, s'them's worth
dollar pound"
Who but one that had been there
could have given expression to this
scandalous bit Of realistic cynicism?
"Now is the time to rally to the festive
donation party. A donation party is a
cheerful gathering where poor clergy
mans flock overwhelm him with bead
watch pockets and eat up about $l12
worth of his winter provisions.
A young man in the street being
charged with laziness, was asked if he
took it from his father, II think not, "
said the disrespectful son, fathers got
all the laziness he ever had"
Lord Courtenay, thirty-fve years of
age, who recently went into bank
ruptcy, owed four million eight hun
dred thousand dollars. Now let the
young rascal get position in the New
York custom-house and make the
money to pay his debts.
1t is said Of Ethan Allen that he
once attended church where the min
lister made an estimate, the result Of
which was that out Of the whole human
race not more than one in one thousand
would be saved On the announcement
of this result, Allen took his hat and
walked out, saying as he went: "Gen-
tlemen, if any of you want my chance
you are welcome to it. 1t is not worth
staying for
A witness spoke ola particular per
son as having been partially clad.
"Was he not quite nude?' asked tie
examining counsel. 'No," replied the
witness, she wore pair of specta-
cles. -
A Connecticut fisherman one day
baited his hook with live frog. After
patiently waiting some time for bite,
as he chatted with friend, he found
that his lively bait had swum ashore,
and was sitting quietly on the rock by
his side. He wound up his line and
went home.
Horace Greeley says he will not SUP
port Grant if re-nominated. This may
be accepted as significant Of the inten-
tentions of most of the so-called liberal
republicans.
The Chicago Post claims to have on
its editorial staff lady of extraordi-
nary abilities. The editor says he
"never knew anyone who could write
with equal ease upon so singular a
range Of topics with information so ez-
act in detail" Whereupon an enyious
contemporary asks the Post why it