The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-07-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

HUMILITY is the foundation Of all the
virtues
TIVE ties that connect business men
with the public advertising.
An Omaha school-Joy lately defined
lady to b. - grown mp girl, who does nut
cuss nor swear.
A VERY helpless Pittsburgh tailor adyer-
tises for lone or two sturdy girls to help
on pantalOons
The man who plants birch tree, little
knows what benefit he is conferrihg "u
posterity.
The woman who makes a hell of home
always imagines that she IL the worst
abused woman III the world
DR. JoHSSoN il reported " have said
that a second marriage ~ the triumph uf
hope over love.
GLADSTONE defined the term enterprise
to mean, in America newspapers, stealing
the account Of a treaty. This is pure
envy.
Is the New York Directory the smith
family has no less than 934 members
and their kindred Srnidts Smidths
Smeidts.
"TALK about the Jaws w death, rN-
claimed man who was living with his
third wife, II tell you they're NJ touch tr
the Jaws of life
THE st. Albans. (Nt.) .N.ssen.j,r thinks
sky blue is a pretty color for ceilings
hut not So tasty for country milk at : cents
quart
CALIFORNIA Jury, IN a suicide case
lately. found the following verdict 1--WE.
the jury. find that the deceased was \
fool
WHAT evidence is there that there was
beer IN the ark The kangaroo was seen
to @ IN with hops. and bruin soon followed
WESTERN editor placed over Mar
rlaa cut representing large trap.
sprung, with this motto The trap down
another ninnyhammer sauglt.
WHAT is that dog barking at T. asked q.
fop, whose boots we're more polished than
his ideas. Why. replied a bystander.
i because he sees another puppy III yuur
boots
LADY, walking IN the seaside, asked
sailur whom she met. why ship was called
+ she n The son ~ Neptune replied that
It was because the rigging costs more
than the hull
lou'D d better ask for manners than
money, said a man t. poor boy who
asked for assistance, II ask for what
thought you had most If. innocently r--
Piled the lat
WY, Emily, how do you IN r- .I
ann very we'll, Julia, ! celebrated INV
wooden wedding last week Why. ]
didn't know you we're married How did
you celebrated it n by marrying
block head
4 MOTHER was amused the other day to
hear this bit of - argument from her lit
tie boy Mamma. ! don't see how Satan
turned ont to he such a bad fellow there
wasnt any devil 70 put him up to 1t
BAND, which serenaded young mar
red couple in one Of our suburban towns
the other 7vening, selected a peculiarly
happy and tiattering piece known as The
Monkey Married the Baboons Sister
Mrs. Partington. il illustration W the
proverb A soft answer turneth away
wrath, SAYS, " II is better to speak pare
goraically of a person than to be ali the
time fiinglng epitaphs at him.
THE editor Of a country contemporary
told an apprentis t. abbreviate the mann,
Of Rev James DUugherty in local nu-
tice the apprentis put il I'D Rev. .Inu
for short, and that editor had IN apollo
gize.
HOUR honor, said lawyer tu the judgr.
every man who knows me. knows that
am incapble Of lending my and to a mean
cause That So said his opponent.
the gentleman never lends himself tu q
mean cause, he always gets cash down
A YOUTH stepped into blackstone and
asked What kind of pens DO yuu Sell
here, mister HI All kinds. you young
rascal. answered one uf the clerks EDO
you III said the little chap, then giyr mr
ten cents worth " pigpens
A PooE little Sunday school scholar wv
WISCONSIN was deluded into learning B. -.u
verses Of the Bible in four weeks Nv thr
the promise of book They gve him
'' Hitchcock Analysis Of the Bible lie
swapped it for a two-bladed knife and "a
peck Of hickory nuts
A BoSToN minister SAYS that he once
preached On the recognition ~ friends Nv
the future, and was told after service hy
hearer that II would ~ more tO thr point
to preach about the recognition Ny friends
here, "A he had been III the church 1u
years and didn't know any NJ it, member,
A QUAINT old gentleman, If an active.
stirring disposition, had man Ia work iu
his garden who was quite the reverse
Jones. said he, did you ever see IL
snail I! a" Certainly, said Jones "Thru. "
said the old man, you must have met
him, for you never could overtake him.
REALLY. my dear, said poor Mr.. June,
~ his better half. yuu have sadly ds-
appointed me. once considered ynu "
Jewel " woman but ynu have turned
ont only a bit of matrimonial paste III
Then, my love. was the reply. console
yourself with the idea that paste is very
adhesive, and will stick t. you as long As
you live.
An Indian in Detroit visited am ice-crean,
saloon The Frr. Prs, saws .Tb,
first tast, 81 All his teeth Iummn. ANA th,.
next one satisfied him that some unr had
put uP a j"b un him. re handed N WV
the boy with instructions Nv warm IL. Thr
hoy melted II on the stov,. Ann the Indian
seized the dish and drank the sweet milk
at one gulp, and then licked the dish.
=" II ! were IN California. said q. ynuny
fop, in company, the other evening. EN-
stead Of working in the mines. would
waylay some miner with BAG Of uoId
knock out his brains, gather ~ the gnId
and run. think sou would al brtt, I
t. gather uP thr brains, quietly remark WI
q young lady, III man should always hr~t
secure what he most deficient in III
A BROOM with A heavy han lIe was ,,pr
a. wedding gift ~ a bride. With the f,llun
ing sentiment
This tnning gift accept frum u,
It, Use would commend
IN sunshine Use the brush, ts,rt
In storm the other end
The Atlanta S,a has gwen 10 the wiJ,
world tins attempt masterly at vers-niak
| Ing
Mary hal little lamb
| she Kept u W her garden
\ And every time u wagoge,l Il. taiI
| u slnllt her pDllv Warden