davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

A PLEASANT ANEcDoTE. Rev.
Thomas .Alexantlero English Pres
hyterian Church in Chelsea, recently
died of apoplexy. A London CORES
pondcnt to the Presbyterian vonches
| for the truth Of the following anccdote;
This winter Mr.. Alexander observed
a curate frequently passingllis window
in the cold mornings without a great
coat, cold and uncomfortable, with the
look of gentcel penury which too often
attaches to the poorly paid cui4ltes OF
the English Church. lie went out to
his tailor:
'Can You make coat without see
ing the man who Is to wear it,"
That was doubtful.
'Can you make a coat ify You see the
man. without measuring him?"
The tailor thought he might.
'tllcn be ready When | call for you." !"
The next day, accordingly, when
the curaie was seen approaching. MIR.
Alexander hurried out to his tailor,
and the two walked for some little dis
tance behind the nnsnspecting man.
snow, take a good look; make sure
ofyour measure. Are you satisfied!"
Yes"
"Then, said Mr.. Alexander, ''make
that poor fellow a good coat, of good
cloth, at once. Ascertain his home,
and send 1t to him; but mind you. il
you give him the slightest inkling that
| sent it, you hallneyer do me another
stitch"
So the two parted. Mr.. Alexander
lived to see the curate often go by his
window with the great coat on, an ex-
cellent fit. and well buttoned up in
welcome warmth.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

A Broadway dandy, whose clothes
were as fragrant Of musk, cologne,
and other perfumes as though they
had been dipped in a tank of extracts,
was exhibiting himself on the steps OF
one of our hotels, when a Yankee
from the country came ont and stood
beside him, to his great annoyance.
lie showed his disgust III many ways,
and finally tried to raise a laugh at
the Yankees expense. The Yankee
took no oifense; but said to him: II
say, shall | tell you how to take the
smell out of them ere clothes? There
is no use of carrying that ere smell
round. You jist bury them ere
clothes about a foot in the sand, and
in week they'll smell as sweet as
mine" Our dandy has not since
been visible to the naked eye.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

AMusEMENT.-Eyery thing In Ma
ture indulgcs in amusement of some
kind. The lightnings play, the wind
whistles, the thlnders roll, the snow
flies, the rills and cascades sing and
dance. the waves leap, the fields smile,
the vines creep and run, the buds
shoot, and the hills have topS--to play
with. But some OF them have their
seasons of melancholy. The tcmpests
moan, the zcphyrs sigh, the brooks
mnrmur, and the mountains look blue.
Yes, dear children, we older people
know that you have your little trials
and troubles, your affections, your
times of melancholy, like the elements
in Nature. But we like to see you
happy. And in choosing your amuse-
meIits, be slow in choosing. Select
such as viii elevate your moral stand
ard, reject such as will have tenden-
cy to lower-such as will be demoral-
king and corrupting III their iniiu-
cnCCS.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

A WORD TO BOYS. Boys, did yon
ever think that this world, with all its
wealth and woe, with all its mines
and mountains. oceans, seas, and riv-
ers with all itsst eamboats, railroads,
and telegraphs; with all its millions
of cropping men, and all the science
and progress Of ages, will soon be Civ
Ell over to the boys Of the present age
boys like You! Believe it, and look
abroad upon your inheritance, and get
ready to enter upon lis possession.
The presidents, cmperors, kings, gov
ernorS, statesmen, philosophers, min
isters, teachers, men OF the fliturG-all
are boys now.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

NIAGRA FALLS TO BE UTILIZED
Mr.. Horace ii. Day, of New York,
proposes to use the water power Of
Niagara Falls tocomprcss air, and then
transmit it in pipes to stations along
the Erie Canal to Albany, to be re-
taincd in reservoirs, from which tanks
on canal boats may be supplied. The
compressed air is then to be used in
stead of horses as the motive power to
propel all canal boats. He says conf
pressed air can be transported twenty
miles with loss CT only one per cent.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

KEEP YoUR Tor CooL.-Artemus
Ward once, during a journey across
the plains, offered stage-driver a
drink from his flask, which he refused
IN most decided terms. Said the driv-
cE II don't drink! | won't drink! !
and don't like to see any body else
drink. I'm of the opinion Of these
mountains keep your top cool.
They've got snow and I've got brains
.-tlRt's all the difference"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Four GOOD HABITs.-Punctuality,
accuracy, steadiness, and dispatch.
Without the first, time Is wasted,
Without the second, mistakes the
most hurtfill to your own credit ana
interest, and that OF Others, may he
committed. Without the third, moth
ing can be well done. And without
the fourth opportunities for advantages
are lost which it is impossible to re-
call,
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

'Tis distance lends enctantment to
the view. An old Dutchlnan, who
some years ago was elected IL member
of the Canadian Legislature, said in
his broken English style: 'Vcn I
vent to the lechislature, | fought I
would find dem all Solomons dere, but
| soon found dere vas some as pick
tools dere as vas"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Nothing on earth can smile but hl-
man beings. Gems may flash reflect
ell light, but what is Il diamond fash
to q mirth flash2 A face that cannot
smile Il like bud that cannot bios
som, and dies.upon the stalk. laugh
ter is day, and sobriety is night /; and
Il smile IL the twilight that hovers
gently between both, and more be-
witching than either.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

A blacksmith was lately summoned
to a county court as witness in o dis
pute between two of his workmen.
The Judge after hearing the testimony
asked one why he dill not settle, as
the costs had already amounted to
three times the disputed sum. lie re-
piled:
II told the fools to settlc-for said
the clerks would take their coats, the
lawyers their shirts, and If they got
into your honor's court you'd Skin
en- ~
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

A qarrclsome couple were discuss
ing the subject of epitaplls and tomb
stones, aud the husband ssid: MY
dear, what kind of stone do you sup.
pose they will give me when | dies"
birthstone, my love-" was the attec-'
tionate reply.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

1t is stated that DIR. Livingstone has
not had any breeches to speak Of for
four years, the merchant tailors of
Ujiji refusing to credit him. With u
little paint, however, and u segment
of lion skin around his loins, the Doc
tor has managed to keep the wolf from
his door.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Twenty-Six English emigrants ar
rived in Raleigh. y. G, recently, for
the purpose of settling in that vicinity.
They are gentlemen Of character and
distinction, several of them being ex-
officers in the british army and navy.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

"Excusemy left hand, nsaid Virgins
as he shook hands wiah a friend.
certainly, l never take mbmge at
nature, !" Was the reply. Referring to
Ecclesiatics X, 2, the text is, "a wise
mans heart Is at his right hand; but
a FOOLS heart is at his left" and the
consequence is that they hayenot spoke
sincn
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

CHEERFUL TEsIrERANCE.-It Is
known to every army officer that good
discipline is inversely as drunkenness,
but it is not so we'll known that when
dehared from spirits and fermented
liquors men are not only better be-
lMved but they are far more cheerful;
they are less irritable, and endure bet
ter the hardships and perils of war;
| DR.. Pmkes.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

The total number of hogs packed in
the West for the season Just closed
was 4.S20, 555, against 1906, 23l the
previous season, being an increase OF
l,l20,30l. OF the number packed in
Illinois, 1,579,527, Chicago packers
making returns Of over 200, 900.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

The Emperor of Japan having in
vited the late Tycoon to come out
from his retirement, that dignitary
has acceded. and has accepted an
honorable appointment under the
Government, with Il highly compli-
mentary title.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Once give your mind up to a suspi-
cion and fear, and there will be sure
to be food enough for it. In the still
est night the air is filled with sounds
for the wakeful ear that is resolved to
listnn
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Youth and age have too little SYM
pathy with each other. If the young
would remember that they may be
old, and the old remember that they
have been young, the world would bc
hnnnipr.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

He who should conquer in battle
ten times hundred thousand, We're
indeed hero. But truly a greater
hero Is he who has but once conquered
himself. Rmhlhn.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Our brightest moments are trequent-
" those which arrive to us from the
bosom OF care and anxiety; the gems
that sparkle upon the dark ground.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

1t is pretty well known how alcohol
can tlerange the functions cf the body
and destroy life, but no one has yet
found out how it can cure.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

Temperance and labor are the two
best physicians of man; labor sharp
ems his appetite, and temperance pre-
vents him from indulglng to excess.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

An editor ofa Western paper seeing
two washcrwomen qmrreling, quoted
Tennyson to them, saying, 'sWFins
out, wild bellies" i ltsaR'f
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
E'apcr-I;aRsiEig, Calceln.niE.g.
Decorating. &c.

E NJ. WADSW0RTH will give pronnt
T.. attention TO all orders for Pamr-
banging, Calceminimg, Decorating, &c., in
this city or vicinity. All work executed
in the latest style, in the best manner, and
at lowest living rates. IA Orders left Mt
Furniture Warcr0oms of Chas. Mcaley will
receive prompt attention. 1Ov4
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

1t Is not uncommon for princes, and
people of that irresponsible kind, to be
married by proxy. But it was reserv-
ed for Republican Gotham to lit upon
the extraordinary notion of putting in
to proxy, not the bridegroom, nor yet
the bride, but Of all the people in the
world-the parson. The newspapers
chronicle the happiness of a young
,vulic joined in >sadlnck. as the no
tice ran, .'by the Rev. 5. II. Tying,
Jr., representing the Rev. $. IL,
Tying, ID. ID.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
Notice.

OREGON 4 CALIFORNIA RAILROAD
" Company, Land Department, Portland
Oregon, April 5, lS72. Notice is hereby
given, that vigorous prosecution will be
instituted against amy and every person
who trrspasscs upon any Railroad Land,
by ycuttingnnd removing gtimherthcrefrom
before the same is BOUGHT OF The Compa-
ny AND PAID FOR.
All vacant Land in odd numbered sec
tions, whether surveyed or unSurveyed,
within distance Of thirty miles from the
line of the road, belongs TO the Company.
!. X. MOORES,
32vitf Land Agent.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

1t is stated that all the lawyers in
st. Louis have agreed toput on gowns,
after the manner oftheir English bretl-
ren. As a general rule it is not of
so much Importance, says the New
York Trib,me, what an attorney car
ries on his back as what he carries in
his head. If the gentlemen of the st.
Louis bar please to wear uniform,
we believe there is no law to prevent
them from doing so. We notice that
the steamboat walters upon some lines
of travel have done the same thing.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
Territory for Sale, or Will receive
Royalty for manufacture.

For State or Territorial rights to manu-
inctuic and sell on the Pacific Coast, apply
to COLL. VANCLEYE, Albany, oregon.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21

r SODICIT TIE ATTENTION OF ALI.
L persons desiring to purchase fruit trees
to call and examine my stock, which is
in the State, consisting of apples, pears,
cherries, pums, prunes, grapes, blackbcr-
ries, curiNnts and roses. Also, black and
white walnut, English walnut, hickory,
pecan, rcdbud, honey locust, blackberry,
and number of other varieties Of trees
and plants too numerous 10 mention, MI of
which are offered mt low rates.
HENRY w. SETTLEMlRE.
Dec, II, lS70-lJ
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
ALEAMY RATM rKOgISFi.

ALBANY BATH HOUSE.
1lHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RE.
and vicinity that he has taken charge On
this establishment, and by keeping clean
rooms and paying strict attention 10 busi-
ness expects to suit MI those who may fl-
v0r him with their patronage. Having
heretofore arried on nothing but
Flrst-claGs Hair DrcsslIiE Sal00nS,
all. ChildrCn's and ladies' hair neatly cut
and shaInlWoed.
Sept. l1-y2 JOSEPH WEBER.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
DEs. VAN CAEVE's
GalValic Abdominal Supporter
AND
UTERINE REGULATOR.
J1IE MERITS OF THIS INsTRrMEyT

TNIIE MERITS OF THIS INSTRUMENT
4 consist principally IN the support it
gives to the abdomen and spine. The belt
Is broad, supported by sllSpcnders passing
over the shoulders, and kept in shane by
safeguarding t'alvanie Plates. which give
II pleasant current.
The Regulator IS also Galvanic its Cup
and NoZzlcS are made of Silver; its Stem, of
CopWrand Zinc, is hollow, that injections
may he through 1t, or into the neck
of The Uterus. II can bc so regulated BY
It's thum'rScrcw Us to meet any mal-posi-
tion of the Uterus, and is unequallcd in
meeting any form of female disease.
Price, S2j. Patented August II, ISL, by
W. S. Van Glove. Centlalin. Illinois.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-06-21
TURNING TURNING

r AM PREPARED TO DO ALL KCSns
l. OF turning; keep on hand aad make TO
order mwhiGe-bettomc'l chairs, and spjl,
ming wheels. Sh0p near the Magnolia
Mills" JOHN NJ. SlETXLER.
Albany, Nov. &, 1861
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
Current Items.

ST.. LOUIS is badly afflicted with small
pox.
The South has lost by the caterpil.
lars nearly $l00,000,000.
IS the United States there are $780,
600 children attending school.
NEWARK, n. j., claims to be the third
manufacturing city in the Union
STEWARDS new hotel for working wo.
men, in New York city, is completed.
A CUBIC inch of gold is worth $3.50.
A million dollars in gold, according to
the figures at the mint, weigh just
about two tons.
AMONG the latest patent contrivances
designed to stop runaway horses, is a
pair of binders, by which the driver,
on pulling cord, instantly and effect
uallY blindfolds the animals.
The great original sea serpent is said
to have been at last identified as a mon.
strous species of eel, by no means rar
in South African waters, which some
times attains the length of forty feet.
OUR big bull thistle is favorite 1
European gardens, and our famili.. r
mullen does duty abroad as the Ameri.
can velvet plant. Thus the weeds of
one country become the petted and
potted flowers of another.
ACCORDING to Humboldt, the gold i'm
ported from America since the discoye-
ny of Hispaniola to the revolution of
Mexico amounts to seven and a half
milliards, which is little less than the
last war debt Of France.
The New iberia La Progress states
that near Fausse Point and other local
tiles drinking water has been selling at
fifty cents per gallon. In New iberia,
Mr.. Serrett, the hotel keeper, ID paying
fifty cents demijohn for water.
PUNCTUATION is a wonderful thing. A
man telegraphed to Burlington for a
school. "Shail come, or is the place
filed ?" Tie answer properly was.
"No! Place filled on the l7th." The
telegraph operator received it. "No
place filed on the 18TH" The man
went for it, and was minus travelling ex.
penses.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
False Hair.

Heavensl Let all ladies who wear
deceitful locks read what the British
Medical journal tells us about false hair |!
There is NJ. Lindeman who has given
his mind to this subject, and who an
nounces that every hair in false plat
ends with "a rodosity;" each nodosity
contains fifty "psorosperms :" and each
psorosperm throws off minute spheres
which become pseudo-navicelle.'
But this is by no means the end Of a
bad matter. The pseudo-navicelle in a
ballroom containing fifty ladies, all
with the spurious tendrils, amount to
100000, which, when inhaled. make
their way into the circulation and bring
on cardiac affections This is TOO bad /;
but then doesn't real hair sometimes
produce cardiac affections ?-Ne,o York
Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
Foreign Gossip.
L4rrsIc has an American circus.

LxIPsIc has an American circus.
THERE are 5000 Americans in Paris.
TIE British Museum possesses 900
species of serpents.
ROTTERDAM is the greatest tobacco
trading port in the world.
FRENCH critics mourn that at present
France has no poet of the first rank.
LOUIS FAURBAcH, the distinguished
German philosopher, is dead, aged Co.
GEORGE SAND has made more money
by writing than any woman ever did
before.
Ls Ga4Lois announces that Madame
Nilsson, now Frenchwoman by mar
riage, declines to sing in Germany.
EARL RUSSELL is so years old, and
is the only survivor Of the House of
Commons Of 1913, when he first took his
seat.
A CESTENARIAN cannibal named Tarain,
who distinctly remembered how some
of Capt. Cooks crew tasted uncooked
died recently in New Zealand.
A FAILURE of the British potato crop
would OF course increase the demand
for foreign breads tufts. The crop is esti-
mated to be equal to 100000 quarters
of heat.
A MALAY rajah is said to possess a
larger diamond than any in the world,
and more valuable than any of the great
gems of Europe. 1t is said to be much
larger than the Koh-i-noor, and to weigh
365 carats.
OLD Field Marshal Won Moltke lives
now quietly in the little Silesian town
of Schweidnit2. He can be seen there
every day, in long black frock coat,
smoking an enormous pipe and read
ing the newspapers at The only cafe in
the place.
ENGrIsH journals state that pawn.
brokers are greatly multiplying in Great
Britain. In twenty years the number
in Scotland has exactly doubled itself !;
in London the increase has been from
500 to 523; and the rest of England
from /, All to 1906.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
NELLIE'S MS.

"Harry, read this proctor me will you?
/ want to finish my editorials for to
morrow, and we are behind hand.
This request was made by the editor
of the Melville Gazette TO Harry Fond.
love, his assistant editor, who had be-
come associated with him but few days
before. Our hero was young man who
had met reverses in monetary affairs,
and being ambitious to acquire literary
fame he had secured the position Of I'M
der editor of the above named journal.
To the editors request he answered
"What kind OF matter is IL
A story from the pen of some young
ady in a seminary, | imagine. as its
characters are school girls, and the Gene
located in a seminary
"Give it to me-" answered Harry,
have an interest at present in all mat.
tiers pertaining TO seminaries,-or should
like TO have, in one CASE he added,
with a sigh.
"Why do you sigh ?? added Mr.. Read
more, the editor. Is il serious
ease ~
"Yes, on one side-mine. I say,
Readmore, you know all about my
qfape q ar,olg with Nellie Weston, dom I
You ~
Yes
"Well, she is at Madame lie Buque's
Seminary
"0h, now | understand. But can
you not hope for reconciliation ~
o. fear not, answered Harry, as he
took the Ms.
Heavens r.
"What is the matter ?"
Matter why, it's her handwriting, F"
said Harry excitedly.
"Whose?n
"Nellie's. Has she ever contributed
beforeg'
"Yes, two or three times-and she
eyinces considerable talent
"Of courSe-couldn't be otherwise
answered Harry, as he eagerly devour
cd the contents Of the story.
IL was scene in one of the young
ladies' rooms, upon the eve Of their de-
parture for their homes sc the end of
the term--and one part of the story
particularly interested our hero-a
serenade was spoken Of. and but a short
time before he had participated in the
very identical, which he was certain Of,
because the location was the same, and
the pieces of music mentioned were
Identical with those which the band he
had brought there had played.
Readmore, will YOU let me have
these papers p
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
Funny Mistake of o Funny Man.

One of the best dressed and most
brilliant young men in Chicago, who
parts his hair in the middle, essayed to
delight a select party of ladies and gen
tlemen last evening by few flashes of
wit. The most noticeable scintillation
of his wit was conundrum: Haw-"
said he, "Aw-when is a lady not a
lady ?" Nobody could tell, and the
propounder Of the conundrum gave the
answer. "When she's little buggy"
he said. A dead silence fell on the
company, and the funny man was the
focus of many singular glances. He
soon became conscious that "some one
had blundered." So he Owed into a
v,st pocket, brought out a newspaper
scrap, read it attentively three or four
times, and then frightened up. SHAW
YES" he said, "of course--haw-yes,
of course-haw-when she's a little
Sulky. Knew it was some kind of a
wagon. y Chicago Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-10-04
Singular MOnOmania.

An extraordinary case of monomania
is related in French paper. A we'll.
dressed, educated gentleman recently
appeared before a magistrate and gave
the following account of himself: "My
name is l.. | am teacher in a
college of the Department of Gers, and
have come to pass the vacation in my
native town. come to ask you to be
good enough to put me in some asylum
until | can overcome a dangerous mon.
omania which possesses me. am not
mad, but am simply seized with an ire.
slstible desire to strangle child. Dur.
ing the long nights, as | lay sleeplessly
in the dormitory of our college, listen.
ing TO the breathing of the scholars
contided TO my care, have felt the
most extraordinary sensations. Often
have got up and gone towards the bed
OF one of the boys with the full inten.
ton Of strangling him 10 death, but al
the moment that | was about TO seize
him by the neck | have succeeded, by
appealing 10 my reason and all the re.
sources OF my nature, in avoiding the
committal Of crime. | happily man.
aged to ward off the dreadful impulse
until vacation came. But to-day / feel
that | can no longer resist. Even in
coming here to you | carefully avoided
meeting any child, for, had done so,
must have killed il" AT this moment
q boy OF fourteen years happened to be
brought before the magistrate TO answer
some charge against him. AT the sight
OF the boy mad glare seemed TO dart
from the eyes of the monomaniac as ne
rushed forward to seize him, and was
only prevented by the officers of the
law. The magistrate Immediately sent
the unfortunate man TO a lunatic
asylum. I