Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-11-21

parish scuOOlinactef, out OF curiosity,
put the question TO The scholars, "What
is nothing;" A pause ensued until an
urchin, whose proclivities for turning a
penny were well known among the
school.fellows, got up and replied; ITS
when a maj asks you to hold his horse
and just says thank ye." The answer has
since earned considerable notoriety.
THE most remarkable engineering feat
now in progress is to be the crossing of
the Andes by the Lima Oroya Railroad.
The mountain chain will be crossed at an
altitude Of $4,000 feet by a tunnel 5000
feet ia length, The grades are the steep
est known on any ordinary railway, The
workmen employed are Cholos indians,
the only operatives who ian endure for a
long period the rarifed atmosphere at
this great elevation.
A MYSTERIOUS noise in a house in Peck
ham, England, the other evening, caused
the summoning Of a policeman, who,
when he had investigated the kitchen,
there found a big black tom cat, with its
head fast in q glue-pot. A strange catas-
trophe that; but when the policeman
pulled the cats head out of the pot, a
mouse was found in its mouth, and that
explained how puss had got into its funny
prediCament.
JONES assumes, on coming nome to din
ner, the bearing Of an outraged husband.
why is it, Mrs. Jones, that you ride
through Wall street in the very cquipage
| am struggling to maintain for you at
high charge, and cut your husband ?"
Mrs. Jones at once treasures him You
certainly would not have your wife,
from a five thousand dollar barouche,
bow to q man who is at work for his liy-
ing J"
THE Sultan, in a fit of impractical
patriotism, has ordered that henceforth
the use of the French language in the lee
lures at the Imperial Ottoman School of
Medicine at Stamboul shall be super
seeded by the use of Turkish. There be-
ing no standard medical works in the ma
tive lingo, and no teachers capable cfcon-
yeying knowledge in that gibberish, the
ORDER of Ills Highness is about equiya-
lent 20 shutting up the school.
GOETHE once defined a Frenchman as
a person ignorant of geography. Here is
a specimen of what a French writer
knows about the wonders Of the New
World. The Gdu205s says "The Vic
toria Bridge, on the River st. Lawrence,
is formed Of an immense tube, weighing
ten millions of k~ilogrammes, measuring
three thousand yards-troBl the sh0re Of
P0ytGad, IN Najae, to Pert SarHja, near
Late Hug0H :"
A WEE or two ago the bartender at
the Alderman House, Atwater street,
wrote his name and address on a slip of
paper, attached it to one of the toy bal
looms sold on the streets, and sent the
balloon atioat, Three days ago he re-
ceiycd a letter from a farmer in Pennsyl
vania, saying that the balloon had been
picked up near his house, having made a
voyage of many hundred miles. BY
comparing dates it was seen that the bal.
loon was three days in making the voy.
age.-Dttr0H Free Press.
They tell about a man in D~oylestown,
Pa, who heard that well water could be
purified with lime, SO he emptied a bushel
and a half into his well, and felt blissful
and happy. 1t turned out that, because
OF the dryness of the season, there was
only three feet of water in the well, and
ever since his experiment he has been
selling a good article of whitewash to his
neighbors at two buckets for a cent, and
walked a mile and a half to the creek for
drinking. water for his family. He has
his doubts now about lime being a good
purifier.
SLIGHTLY INQUIsITrvE.-'Look here,
squire, where was yeou born?" said a per-
sistent Yankee TO q five minutes acquain-
lance. 81 was born" said the victim,
Gin Boston, fremont street, No. A, left
hand side, on the first day of August,
1910, at five o'clock in the afternoon; ply
stefan, DR.. Warren; nurse, Sally Benia-
min.' Yankee was answered completely.
For a moment he was stuck. Soon,
however, his face frightened, and he
quickly said: Yeas; wa'al, | calculate
you don't recollect whether it was a frame
or 4 brick house, dew ye3'
AN EASY ELECTRICAL EXPERIMENT
Take an open-faced watch that has a
crystal considerably convex, or full, and
lay upon it, nicely balanced, a common,
long.stemmed, clay tobacco pipe. Then
take a wine.glass or plain surfaced goblet,
and, after vigorously rubbing it with a
silk handkerchief, hold the edge of the
glass to the tip Of the stem of the pipe,
and you can cause the pipe to reyolye
upon the face Of the watch, with the cleo
tricity dcgeneratcd on the glass, This is
a very pleasing experiment, and one
which almost any n can try.-Seh00}day
J5sihor
THERE is probably no more delicious,
nutritious, and djgestihIe food than chest,
nuts properly roasted. If taken fresh
from the burr they may be placed in a
covered chatting dish, and placed c q
by.Sk fire for ten or fifteen minutes, shak-
ing them all the time, as you would pop
corn. II they are somewhat dried, as we
usually find them in the market, they
should be boiled for about an hour and
then roasted over Goals or in a hot stove
oven, for a few moments. Raw chestuGts
should never be eaten by persons Of weak
digestion Western RuJd{.
A POLICEMAN received in pay, this
month, from the City Treasury, twenty |
torn and pasted together again. On "a
closer scrutiny it was discovered that a
quarter Of a counterfeit twenty dollar
bill had been substituted for the genuine
quarter, which warrants the inference
that three other bills had been treated in
like manner, and out of three good bills
and q bed one somebody had ingeniously
patched up four bills, which no doubt
readily passed as four good but diiapi-
dated twenties -Clfreida6 h5iHdsa5er.
A WRITER in the Western Rural SAYS: 81
have been invonting Il machine for trim.
ming on strawberry runners, and 1t works
SO well that thought others might ike
TO try it. The strawberry trimmer is
a hoop of sawplate, say two or three
wide, end about three feet long
the lower edge sharp. Long, thin strips