Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-04-03


We first receive, then eat it-tben smile.
A NEGRO who was suspected of sur
reptiously meddling with his neighbours
fruit, being caught in a garden by
moonlight, nonplussed his detectors by
raising his eyes, clasping his hands, and
plously exclaiming, 'sGood Lord dis
yere darkey can't go nowheres to
pray any more, without being 'sturbed.r
A SAN Francisco street car conductor
just beginning to collect his fares
placed his hand in the side pocket of
his coat to draw forth his nippers, when
out came formidable five-shooter from
miners hippocket, accompanied with
the exclamation, Look hear, stranger,
I kim from the mountains, but yer can't
get the drop on me. %
A STURDY blacksmith of Fort Dodge,
Iowa, attempted to commit suicide the
ether day, and got fellow-workman to
help him. The latter fixed moose
that would unite the moment mans
weight came upon it, and the bulky
blacksmith inserted his head into it
and swung off-only to come down with
fearful force, striking the interior end
OF his spinal column upon the corner of
a big box and causing pain which he
AYERS was "a id sight worse than
hanging"
A FANCY farmer of Scott county, KY.
is said Georgetown Times to have
built a $4,000 hog pen, which is paint
ed and grained, furnished with hot and
cold water, warmed with steam, and
lighted with gas. There is fine
library, where can be found Cobbs
Elementary Works. The Works Of
Bacon, Inquiry Regarding the Descend
ants of Ham, Hogg's Poems, Golden
on the Corn Laws, and the popular lit
tie poem, "Root Hog or DE-" The
troughs are of mahogany, inlaid with
ivory, and furnished with Phelan cush-
ions. Whenever a hog is led out to
execution, chloroform is administered
A PERSON having been mentioned who
had been notoriously unfortunate in
his first marriage relation, and yet had
soon afterwards married again, was ask
ed If it was not rash to embark anew in
an adventure which he had already
found to be so disasterous. ''No,'
said the philosopher elevating his
hand, and his countenance glowing with
enthusiasm, "it was the triumph of
hope over experience"
IT will hardly believed, and yet an
other man actually has written poem
about the Chicago fire, and stretched
it out into thirty four verses, too. This
is the way he begins:
Hark what hellish glare is that see upon
the sky?
Is that the aurora borealis that streams aloft
on high
No it is the bloody Fire Fiend whose banners
[ descry,
And he willlay the proud town low whose in
habitants the laws of God and man defy"
COMMODORE GREEN. of Savannah,
Ga, lately extended hospitalities to the
delegates i an agricultural convention.
AS one member was curiously examin-
ing the large and beautiful collection
of statuary which adorns the palatial
residence, Mr. Green, who, it seems, was
everywhere and with everybody, tapped
him on the shoulder and said: 'Ah |!
Mr Blank, l see you are an admirer of
the beautiful; would you not like to
inspect some of the fine arts?" 'sWell, +"
said the delegate, as he deposited a
well-masticated quid of Virginia weed
outside the window, q don't care if [
do, as l am little dry"
A DETROIT man, who had contributed
bundle of his cast-off clothing for the
relief of the victims of the Minnesota
fire, received from one of the sufferers
the following note:-
"rhe committy man Civ me amongst
other things wat he called a pair ov
pants, and 'twould make me pant sum
to ware EN-. I found your name an
where you live on one of the pokits.
my wife LATED 50 when [ shode EN- to
her that [ thot she wood have a COMP
shpn fit. She wants to no If there
lives and brethes man who has legs
no bigger than that. She sed if there
was he orter to be taken up fur vagrin-
sy for havin no visible means of sup
port. coldent get EN- on my Oldest
boy, so / used EN- for gun cases. If
you hav another pare to spare my wife
wood like to get EN- to hang up by the
side ov the fire plase to keep the tongs
/ in.''