The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-07-12
PLAIN DEALER,

ildi Ch"i dItti W "hau iiC ioNcs--
what pleascs him. If a person man.
tests delight in low, sordid objects, the
vulgar song and debasing language, N
the misfortuncs of his fellows or animals
we may at once determine the COM
plexion of his character. On the
contrary, if he loves purity, truth,
modesty,--if virtuous pursuits engage
his heart, and draw out his affections
we are satisfied that he is an upright
man. When we see young man fonl
of fine clothes, and making a fop Ct
himself, it is sure sign that he thinks
the world consists of outside show and
cstentation, and he is certain to make
an unstable man, without true affect
ion or friendship, fond of change and
excitement, and soon wearying Of those
objects and pursuits, which for time
gave him pleasure.
A crazy man having got into the
gallery Of the Senate Of the Unite
States during rambling debate, was
taken out, the Sergeant-at-AIms tel
ling him that he was out Of place in
the gallery. "Tha's So" said the
lunatic, :" ought to be on the flor
with the Senators. -
Josh Billings says: There Is one
thing about hen that looks like
wisdum, they don't kaklc mulch until
they have laid their egg. Sum pholks
alwus a braggin and cackling what
they are going tew do beforehand
Mister, where are you going with
that horse y asked a gentleman of
a suspicious looking man whom he
met on horseback. well [ hain't a
going anywhere with him. said the
other, but he is going somewhere
| with me-.
A little boy accosted his papa last
week, thus: Papa, are you growing
still?' No dear: what makes you
think so ? because the top Of your
head is coming through your hair
The poor politician is getting bald.
A girl of the period comments thus
on Mormonism (: elbow absurd !! four
or FIVE wives to one man, when the fact
is, each woman in these times ought
to have four or five husbands. 1t
would take about that number to
support me decently."
A Meriden, Conn, lad few days
ago was brought before court for
truancy and other boyish misbehavior,
and when asked the reason for his
conduct, replied, I've got a step
mother The court held it to be a
valid defense and let him go
Grant is turning his attention to
farming He is sorry last years crop of
straw was not saved, as he has heard
that straws are very useful in detcrm-
lining which way the wind blows.
Josh Billings says Il know Of
many farmers who are SO afflicted with
theory that they won't set gate post
until they have had the ground aniliz-
ed by some professor of anatomy to see
if the earth has got the right kind of
ingredients in it for post holes. That's
what I call running theory into the
ground.
Anything to beat smallpox is a
popular cry in Washington, and Grant
never dreams of its being a personal
allusion to him.
Another argument in favor of Grants
system of civil service reform, is the
report that W. II. Gregory, chief Ct
the money order department in the De
troit post Office, is Il defaulter to the
amount Of $1,000:
The Quakers are tired of waiting
for Grants peace, and will vote for
Greeley who never promises anything
which he does not intend to fulfil
The Grant organs have all become
friendly to Brick Pomeroy of late, be-
cause he does not 60 with the Demo
cratic party any longer.
A radical paper in Chicago has gone
to work in dead earnest to prove that
Mr.. Greeley is dishonest man. If it
is so fond Of hard sums, why not under
take to prove Grant an honest one
A certain supporter Of Grant in this
place, who has Sunday school recollec-
tons of Wanting to be an Angel, &c
has changed his tune. He now sings
thusly:
II wan to be Grants kinsman,
And with his kinsman stand.
A salary in my pocket,
And a commission in my hand"
Democrats reject Mr.. Greeley's
old words and accept his new. Radicals