The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-01-11


.rn3k
DR., Livingstone has died 80 many
tunes thee last few years that people
are besinning ia call him N. Dying
stone. s'lssA
A Boston paper nays that the ne>l
way 70 improve the lot OF woman y e
put good house on Il and . good man
In the house.
a dssnken MAN cnc~ stasysv~d NJ
IN Mr.. Whitelseld with the rrmsrk
"Mr. Whitehead. I am me 81 vouS
converts" ut Il very probable. /" he
replied. 81 am certain yoar none 81
0Od's. ae
One dollar reward u offer for the
head n every woodchuck ~ the town
Groton. We. should thing that the
Groton dogs woedchuckle over This.
M Fond Father.--"I sse ye've PIT my
sna Until 9ranmmer an jogvaphy. Moo,
a I sneithes ,nsan him the he . ,..inls-
ter ~ . saearsptain, it'ss o. nae' use.
Gle him plain bixMess eslAicati"n. -
Ps,sch. fRsi1 4at4tA
~ Harry: You dswg Il VERY thin,
William" Wiiisan. "He is very
had-but when he dies I am going TO
etafi him. Harry" Harry fascinating.
~; Hsdn't you better stuff him be-
fore he dies?"
The witty John Clark. the l,asri.ter.
who wss lsme, overheard lady re-
mark to . frieNd: "That's John Clark,
the lame lawyer" Mr. Clark, Who
was passtsg along the strret. turned
round. and addressing the lady aaid !:
mo madam, I'm lame man but not
. lame lawyer"
An Indiana cooper showed pecu.
liarity ef Hoosier calculation the other
day by putting his little hoy inside .
cask to held the bead up while he
nailed Il. Alter It was done, he found
the bupghols was the only means left
for biz sou's exit.
A Baltimore paper gives the follow
ing recipe for making oyster soup.
which can be retailed with profit At
i've cents . bowl: "Take Ave Bslti,
moro oyslers. the smaller they are the
better: photograph them; to en- h
photograph add 6ve gallons Of water
and . teaspoonful Of milk then season
70 suit u TASTE"
The Stoclk ton Herald says: "Durtng
the delivery Of her speec., last night,
Mrs. Laura DE Fofce Godcn said:
am an American citizen over twenty
one years oGage.'" To this ! crusty
and probably Disguised Benedict cried
out; You bet you are The effect
was electrical"
How ptessuh . suesise u Is to see
the miracle Of nuvel motion In objects
thas are usually inanimate! We have
seen q rope walk, . note run. watch
spring. horse fly, and . Saratoga hop;
and next summer we shall gn over the
Rnckys to see the tig trees leave ana
he Pacific slope.
A Bonn correspondent tells nm MI
inirshlc story Of German genera
who, "n inspecting his tranps. NJ,
long ago, addressed them thus; Now
my children. *e eun one. more gei
seriously to w0sk. TIE lasime q
war il at AL end, and drill most gn or
regularly. ~ i,erctofors."
In 1898 friend " the Mi.se. Car,
ma letter, alluded to being bitten by
i big "yailer dog while returning
rom ! party and requested MI Phoe
Ue, in case lie should die Of hpdropho.
biA, 10 do him the favor of writing hi.
.pitnph. She regretted the misf,r-
tune kut begged 70 be excused f.op
performing 80 melancholy . service, %
she was not in the habit Of writing
:doggerel. .
Appropsists names, For printers
wife. Eau /; fog . ss,ssft's ~ife, IBet "
Tor layers wife, sue Tor . general
wife. salty for . tea.nster's wife, Car
~; for fisierniah's wife. Net Is /; 70,
= siHeMaker's wife. Peggy for n
carpet mans wife, Maltie for All auc
tioneer's wife, Bid dy; for y chemist.
wife. Ann Eliza for MI engineer
wife. Bridg-it: Tor = farmers wife,
Gerusha.
In the : xecution Of recent deed BY
. man and his wife, the wife was
taken aside, before the acknowled.
msnt WAS Mssas, by the comm issioner
who, In the usual fOrm, ssked: "Do
yon execute this deed freely, and with
out fear or cosnpulsion of your hus-
band:" "Fesr Of my husband! /" ex.
claimed the wife. I've had 1--WE hus-
bands, and never was afraid Of any one