Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-11-13
Humorous.

humorous.
ANOTHER aeronaut, of the hot-air
kind, has come to grief in Kentucky.
IF a topper and quart of whisky
were left together, which would be
drunk first
SNIGGfRs SAYS the most thrilling tale
he ever listened to was that of rattle
fsnake.
A QUEER old gentleman being asked
what he wished for dinner, replied -
C An appetite, good company, some
thing to eat, and napkin"
WHAT is the difference between the
Girl of the Periods seat on horseback,
and her gait in walking 2 One IS side
saddle, and the other sad side.
| 't MAN proposes opposes, ,"
says q cynical bachelor, who probably
never proposed IN his life.
A PROSPEROUS merchant has for his
motto: early to bed and early to
rise never get tight, and advertise" F."
A YOUNG physician Informed lady
that she must not allow her children
&C to drink much ice-water in hot wealth
er, unless the ice were perfectly ripe. "
I" WIFE, " said a man, looking for his
boot-jack, =" [ have places where [ keep
my things, and you ought to know it."
g Yes, ought to know where you keep
your late hours, but DON'T
II Uncle Sambo were to buy a color
ed cotton dress for his wife, Aunt Sal
". why would it be like street door 2
egress.
:" HOME is the place for boys said
Spinks to his eldest pride and joy
8 Yes" said the youugster, dutifully,
g like to stay at home all the time,
but ma sends me off to school,
"Do BATS ever fly in the day time ?'r
asked a teacher of his class in natural
history. g Yes, sir, the boy replied
F." What kind of bats ~ asked the aston
ished teacher. 6 Brick bats !" yelled
the boys.
" How wish I could take leaf out
of YOUR book 20 rso;a ese-r,o grace, orr-
day, to his Jyiot,s friend. Subsequent
events proved that that 1T was his
cheque book on which the young scamp
had fixed his mental eye.
A COUNTRY girl, coming from morn
ing walk, was told that she looked as
fresh rs daisy kissed by the dew, to-
which she innocently reply, You've.
got my name right-Daisy but his
isn't Dew
g WHAT'S to become of me, if you
die 2" asked an affeotionate wife of her
receding husband Il don't know
he snapped out, querulously. I" 1t
would look better in you to be think
ing about what's 10 become of me ~
A BALD-HEADED friend, of heavy,
pblegmatic temperament, was accosted
on the street by wagg1sh acquaint-
ance with the inquiry, g IEom, why is
your head like Alaska 2" "Too much
for me, Zach-I give it up. g Because
it is eo1tite 66ay place.
A MAN lately made wager that he
had seen horse going at his greatest
speed and a dog sitting on his tail, and
strange as it may seem, he won, but the
dog sat on his own tail
1.-THE foliage is fast turning to
plumage," remarked sad young man,
partially denuled trees. &C How SO ?''
inquired another and sadder young
ma11 Don't you see" replied tho
first, +" that the leaves are nearly all
down"
A ROCHESTER, boy leased his girl for
an hour to go and take lunch with
him and she at last consented. Though
not feeling hungry in the least, she
managed to get away with a stew, a
p]ate of raw, a white fish, an Ironde-
ouoit trout, two quail on toast, glass
of sherry and half pound OF caramels.
Her escort left for Denver the next day
MINNIE (aged six, to bearded papa,
who has lust returned after q five years
residence in the Australian bush)-"
don't like you. You are too rough; and
[ am sorry you ever married into our
family"
The Danbury News says GA COM
nanv started in Middletown for the
manufacture Of odorless rubber goods
is rapidly approaching bankruptcy,
which shows how impossible 1t IS to
make goods without scent"
At an inquest lately held, one of the
jurors put the following philosophical
question to the surgeon who had ex-
amined the body of the dead man -
= When you made the post-noTten1 ex-
mination, had you cuf open the'body!" J"
A WoMAN's Tea Company has
been established in Boston. What
Banedict who g knows how 1T is HIM
self" can be expected to patronize such
an establishment, by asking tor Wom-
ans teas(e)?
DoN'r let your cattle stray; we once
saw cowhide in q shop. -,
A FARMER living i'll 1itusyllle VINO
has two or three very courtable gTls,
n]aced a notice on his front door one
NIGHT which read " Shut down TOR ~
days no stove in the parlor and but
one lamp
q VINO was the meekest man, my
son ~ said the superintendent OF
hov's Bible class in this State
{. Moses sir every we'll, my boy;
and Who was the meekest woman o.
g please. sir. there never was no meek
est woman.
SIZE tripped lightly DER the crossing,
lisping 'tDear Augustus. and was on
tbe point of embracing him, When
rude bow ran up, and holding out
bundle of papers cried out Misses,
Won dropped your readin' room," and
SHE'D away down dark alley
A BERKSHIRE county gentleman has
! buried three wives, and is still hale ana
/ hearty. A marble worker has Just re-
ceived the order for the tombstone Tor
the third Mrs. -, and it is to bear
this complimentary line; "The best