Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-07-18

the car 1 should have taken disappearing
around distant corner. There was, l
am ashamed to say, good deal of Curl
osity mixed with my vexation, and / re-
solved now to have the rest of the story,
If / had to wait the whole afternoon for
it. While was following the yarnster
with my eye, as he lounged laZily in the
thick of the hurrying passengers, l was
accosted by a gentleman in rather
shabby black attire, and in an ex
ceedingly disheveled beaver hat. 1
knew he was gentleman by his manner
and especially by his speech. Excuse
me, sir" he said, with altogether too
much beer in his voice-"excuse me, sir;
] am rich mans son myself; but could
you let me have six cents to ride out on the
East Cambridge cars?n Who could resist
the subtle flattery of that appeal? 1t was
certainly worth six cents, and that is just
what it cost me. Rid of him, / looked
about for my story-teller again. He, hav-
ing satisfied himself that the Brighton
car would not be along for ten or fifteen
minutes more, had loafed back to the
curbstone. Here he reversed the straw
in his mouth, and had begun to make up
for the interruption his story had been to
his companions; he seemed shrewdly sure
that his companion would look about for
him. His apparent confidence in the
power of his absurd yarn was not mis-
placed, for the other cattle-man soon
made his way to the curbstone, and
said:
"Wall, the deacon an his wife was purity
scarf, was theyg'
"Yo're right they was, an they'd have
lay there an lied at each other all night
if they dared, but they didn't. Ye see,
they was Altered that their slowed come
up an call on 'em anyhow; for it now
made worse attempt than ever. This
time, though, when it 'peared to
change its mind, and roll down stairs
agin, 1t 'peared to be jined by the COM
pany of the gridir'n' an the hull interestin'
family of milk-pans, big and little, car
ryin' a flat-ir'n apiece So Mrs. Deacon
got up, an lit taller-candle, an pulled
the deacon out o. bed, an pushed him
toward the head o. the stairs. But they
hadn't got over halfway down, before
the deacon got flank movement on her,
an KEEP her in the van for the rest of the
way to the dinin' room. There, while
they both stopped for breath, an their
knees was rattlin' Monte Musk together,
they heard a cotillon of chairs and tables
in the kitchen. This, l guess, is what
fust give 'em the idee of spirits. Well,
by pushin' one another an holdin' fast to
one another, they at last got to the
kitchen-door an opened it. Now, the
calf's eyes an voice wasn't shut off
by his underclothes, an he saw what
'spose he took for a good openin' for veal,
an he went for it, roarin' in the general
style of calves. He wanted to git out
doors, ye see. Mrs. Deacon dropped her
taller candle, an she an the deacon tum-
bled over each other an screeched, an at
last got the street door open, hearin' the
ghost after them, with the reg'lar holler
thump of spirits. Mrs. Deacon got into
the street an raised the neighbors but
the deacon, ALFRED scarf and shuk up,
fell sprawlin' in the doorway, and the
calf scrambled over him. Now, the calf
materially went toward his mother but
the old COW not recognizing her offspring
in the deacon's white shirt an drawers,
why she wasn't partic'lar which way she
went, providin' she got as far as possible
out of his way. So she went straight
through the fence of the deacon's gar
ding, among the vegetables an gar
ding-sass, the calf a whoopin' an fol-
lerin'. The old cow, havin' skIrmished
clean across the cabbages, breakin'
down Mrs. Deacon's cowcumber frames
an layin' waste her sage-bed, made
another lane through the garding fence,
still follered by the calf, a whoopin'
louder'n ever at the unnateral conduct of
his mother. Then they both rushed mad
ly down the one street of the village, in
sight of the hull town, especially the calf,
cause it was white, for we was all purity
well stirred up by this time. They were
found the next mornin' more'n two mile
from Shirkshire. The deacon's shirtd
been so near wore of-the calf that his
mother'd reco'niZed him. The drawers,
Pm proud 10 say, was near hull yit, though
leetle soiled, as you may 'spose, and
added to the modest 'pearance of the calf
when both critters was drove back
through the village the next day. The
deacon an his wife," said the drover, in
conclusion, "warn't hurt in the least; but
they was trifle scarf, l reckon. An the
best of the hull thing is, they haven't
made hardly any trouble for anybody else
since that night; they've been so busy
lyin' about each other. r."-AppLeton's Jour
nal