davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

INTERESTING ExPERIMENTs.--For
some time past series of very interest
ing experiments in the testing of new
quality of cannon powder has been in
progress at Fortress Monroe under the
direction of the chief of the Navy Bu-
reau of Ordnance. The results thus far
attained are fifty per cent increased
force, greater velocity and diminished
pressure on the walls of the gun. One
of the latest trials was the firing of
fifteen-inch smooth bore with the same
charge as was fired from a twelve-inch
rife at the turret of the British IRON
clad Glatton. The impact of the smooth
bore projectile was found to be 9035
tons to the square inch, while the i'm
pact of the rife shot on the Glatton's
turret was but 6100 tons, or nearly fifty
per cent increase. It is certain that
had the charge used against the Glatton
been of the same quality as that fired
at Fort Monroe, the turret would have
been completely disabled. Naval au-
thorities at Washington regard these
results as placing the United States
ahead of the other great nations III the
contest between ordnance and defensive
armor
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

ANECDoTE OF CHARLES MATHEWS
We are given to understand that the
following anecdote of Charles Mathews,
the elder, has not hitherto been in print
in this country Mathews and Tattersall
were very intimate, and the great come
dian was frequently. in the habit of ac-
companying his friend to Newmarket,
where, on one occasion, Mathews indulg-
ed in his wellknown taste for mimicry,
at the expense of Tattersall, during a
sale of blood stock conducted by the lat
ter.
"The first lot, gentlemen" said Mr..
Tattersall, sis a bay filly by Smolensko, .
etc.
1.-The first lot, gentlemen" " echoed Mr..
Mathews, in precisely the same tone Of
voice. sis a bay flly by Smolensko,
ETC.
The auctioneer looked somewhat an
noyed, but proceeded:
What shall we say to begin with p
"What shall we say to begin with 2
replied the echo.
Still endeavoring to conceal his vexa'
ton, Mr.. Tattersall inquiringly called
out: Zone hundred guineas !?
lone hundred guinieas, y echoed Math
ews.
..Thank you, sir" cried Tattersall
bringing down the hammer; "the hlly
is yours
Mathews was considerably taken abacl
by his sudden acquisition of "blooc
stock" and the company enjoyed tht
joke immensely.-Harper's Magazine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
THE GREEN COUNTRYMAN.

Years ago, into wholesale grocery
store in Boston walked a tall, muscular
looking, raw boned man, evidently
fresh conner from some back town in
Maine, or New Hampshire. Accosting
the first person he met, who happened
to be the merchant himself, he asked:
"You don't want to hire a man in
your store, do you q
"Well," said the merchant, II don't
know; what can you do %
"Do !" said the man, II rather guess
| can turn my hand to almost anything.
What do you want done %
"Well, if l was to hire a man, it
would be one that could lift well, a
strong wiry fellow-one for instance
that could shoulder sack of coffee, like
that yonder, and carry it across the
store and never lay it down."
There, now, captain said our coun-
tryman, "that's just me. What will
you give o man that can suit you?"
81 tell you,' said the merchant, "if
you will shoulder that sack of coffee and
carry it across the store twice and never
lay it down, will hire you for year
at 500 per month";
'Done p said the stranger and by
this time every clerk III the store had
gathered around and were waiting te
join in the laugh against the man, who
walking to the sack, threw it across hi:
shoulder with perfect ease, as it was moi
extremely heavy, and walked with i
twice across =tirv- ee0ze, rcuU YuleU1y u
a large hook which was fastened to tn,
wall, and hanging the sack upon it
turned to the merchant and said:
"There, now, it may hang there til
doomsday; shan't never lay it down
What shall l 60 about mister? Jus
give me plenty to do and $lOO month
and it's all right
The clerks broke into laugh, but
was out of the other side of their mouths
and the merchant, discounted yet salts
fed, kept to his agreement, and to-da
the green countryman is the senior part
ner in the firm, and worth half mi
lion dollars
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
NO. 35.

A WICKED TYRANT.-Neda Kard, the
King of Corea, was, by nature and train
ing, bigoted, cruel, and tickle. AT one
moment he would raise an humble serf
to the highest Office in day or two
thereafter this same whilom favorite
would be seen standing on the execu-
toners block for some real or fancied
offense. The kings spasms of generos-
ity toward his own subjects were inva-
riably followed by acts of oppression to-
ward these unfortunate Christians who
were endeavoring to find means of SUBJ
sistence within the realms of his king
dom. AS solitary instance, | will
state the fact that as Media Karu was
one day walking along past the public
baths of his capital. he suddenly pro-
fessed to be annoyed by the confusion
within, and upon being informed that
it came from female bathers there, he
Immediately ordered that every means
of exit be walled up, ard thus miserably
perished all the unfortunate inmates to
the number of about three score. During
his bloody reign of something like thir-
ty years, no less than thirty thousand
people were put to death, while nearly
one hundred and fifty places of worship
were destroyed by his orders. The
most fendish outrages were daily prac-
ticed on all foreigners. They we're de-
MED che privilege of purchasing even
the necessaries of life. Corean mer-
chants were forbidden to extend to them
the smallest favors. Neither gold nor
affection could purchase immunity from
the tyrant's cruel mandate, and when
some hundreds of them we're forced by
the kings prosecutions to leave his do
mains, they were forbidden the use of
animals or boats, and were thus COM
PEELED to travel out of the country on
foot or perish in the attempt. Death.
even, was sweeter to them than life, en-
dured under such manifold horrors
and yet the name of this wholesale
butcher, this relentless prosecutor, this
fend in human shape. is to-day looked
up to by all native Coreans with all
reverence and love.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

CALL HANDS BELOW "A good story
is told of a parrot that had always lived
on board of a ship, but escaped at one
of the Southern ports and took refuge
in church. Soon after the congrega-
tion assembled, and the minister began
preaching saying that there was no
virtue in them that every one of them
would be lost, unless they speedily re-
pented. Just as he uttered the sentence
up spoke the parrot from his hiding
place:
"All hands below p
To say that 'all hands" were startled
would be but mild way of putting it.
The peculiar voice, from its unknown
source, had much more effect upon them
than the parsons voice ever had. He
waited moment, and then, a shade or
two paler, repeated the warning.
"All hands below p again rang out
from somewhere.
The preacher started from his pulpit,
and looked anxiously around, inquiring
if any one had spoken.
Cali hands below p was the only re-
ply, at which the panic-stricken congre-
CATION got up, and moment after they
all bolted for the doors, the preacher
trying his best to be first, and during
the time the mischievous bird kept UP
his yelling:
"All hands below p
There was one old woman who was
lame, and could not get out so fast as
the rest, and in a very short time she
was left entirely alone. Just as she
was about to hobble out, the parrot few
down, alighting on her shoulder, yelled
in her ear:
.'All hands below p
mo, no, Mister Devil" shrieked th,
old woman, you can't mean me. l don
belong here. l 60 to the other churcl
across the way"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

ssSTop TO WEIGH"-One morning an
enraged countryman came into Mr.. Ms
store with very angry looks. He left
team in the street, and had good stick
in his hand.
'Mr. NJ" said the angry country
man, Il bought a paper of nutmegs
here in your store, and when l got home
they were more than half walnuts and
that's the young villain that I bought
'em of, pointing to John.
"John.' % said Mr.. NJ, '.did you sell
this man walnuts for nutmegs %
"No sir, was the ready reply.
"You lie, you little villain said the
countryman, still more enraged at his
assurance.
..Now look here" said John. eff
you had taken the trouble to weigh
your nutmegs, you would have found
that 1 put in the walnuts gratis"
"Oh, you gave them to me, did you q
"Yes, sir. [ threw in handful for
the children to crack" said John, laugh
ing at the same time.
"Well, now, if that amt young
scamp" said the countryman, his feat
ures relaxing into grin as he saw
through the matter.
Much hard talk and bad blood would
be saved if people would stop to weigh
before they blame others.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
SEPTEMBER RAIN.

rStter-patter, E
Listen ho'r the rain-drops clatter,
Falling on TIE shingle-roof;
How they .attle,
Like the rifles click N battle,
Or the chargers iron soof,
Cool and pleasant
Is the evening air at present.
Gathering freshness from the raln-:
ts Languor chasing Sgi5 t<3>
Muscle, thew, and sinew bracing, ~
And enlivening the brain. q
Close together
Draw the bands Of love in weather
When the sky Is overcast; i-F
Eyeballs glisten- fe-s
Thankfully we sit and listen -.
To the rain that's coming fast
DroppiDg-dropping 80 80
Like dissolving diamonds-popping srr.-
'Gainst the crystal window-pane,
As if seeking
Entrance welcome, and bespeaking
Our affection for the rain.
Quick and quicker
Drip the droppings; thick and thicker
Pour the hasty torrents down:
RushiDg-rushing-
From the leaden spouts a-gushing,
Cleansing all the streets in town.
Darkness utter
Gathers round I'VE close the shutter;
Snugly sheltered let us keep.
Still unceasing
Fails the rain; but oh ! It's pleasing
Meath such lullaby to sleep.
How love iti
Let the miser money covet--
NJ Let the soldier seek the fight; Tft
Give me only, @k H$
When lie awake ndlonely
Music made by rain at night.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

STEALING JOHN VAN BUREN's THUN-
DER.-The author of "Desultory Sketch
es, in the September Galaxy, tells the
following story of John Van Buren -
"In the campaign of 1866 he took an
active part in support of Mr.. Buchanan,
the great moral question having ceased
to interest him. [ accompanied him on
an electioneering tour through part of
Ohio and in some of the southern coun-
ties. He had prepared strong politi-
cal speech, and as reporting in those
days was not as general or perfect as it
is now, the intellectual labor of the ex-
pedition was not exhausting. He was
to speak in a town on the western re-
serve, and as considerable preparation
had been made to get large number of
people together, the services of several
local orators had been engaged, but, OF
course, Mr.. Van Buren's speech was ex-
pected to be the principal feature of the
entertainment. Unfortunately. John was
taken ill the night before, and although
he was able to take seat on the plat
form, he was too much indisposed to ad
dress the audience In this exigency
Van Buren insisted that | should make
a speech. had previously spoken brief
ly, when there was dearth of compe
tent orators, but speech making was no
in my line. Still, as he was so pressing
i concluded to make an effort. As !
was an unusual occasion, the reporter
were present IN force. had heard Val
Buren's speech so often that | knew ev
cry word of it, anecdotes and all ant
to requite his ill-ofices in getting m
into the scrape, | determined to max
his speech. He saw the trick | wa
practicing upon him before | had utter
ed two sentences, and he began to scol,
and swear at me in an undertone wit
so much vehemence and affected indig
nation as to horrify several pious oil
Democrats who were on the platforl
with us. Course your impudence" h
exclaimed, ''who the devil expected 20
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

THE PosT-oFFICE AND THE EXPRESS
CoMPANIEs.-By the new postal law
which came into operation on the lst of
July, great benefit has been conferred
upon the general public and a severe
blow struck at the monopoly of the ex-
press companies. According to the new
regulations packages of dry goods, hard
ware, drugs, Except liquid drugs and
other merchandise not exceeding twelve
ounces in weight can be mailed to any
part of tie United States at charge of
two cents for each two ounces. Much
time and money will be saved by this
arrangement. The express companies
demand at least forty cents for the
transportation of a package however
small, for any distance. The post-ofice
authorities, on the other hand, will for
ward twelve ounce package to San
Francisco for twelve cents. For in
stance, a pair of boots, if neither boot
weighs more than the specified twelve
ounces, may be wrapped up in separate
parcels, and sent across the continent
for twenty-four cents; whereas, under
the old plan, the transportation of goods
of this description would have cost al
most more money than they were worth.
Up to the present time the post Office
has lost money by the new system, SIM
ply owing to the fact that the general
public has not taken advantage of it to
such an extent as will make it remun-
erative. But it is confidently expected
that when the advantages of the system
are thoroughly appreciated, the scheme
will prove as profitable to the govern
ment as it is beneficial to the public.
1t is, IN fact, nothing more or less than
an adaptation of the English parcel
post, and although the charges IN Eng
land are somewhat less than the rate
adopted here, yet, when it is remember
ed that the distances are as nothing when
compared with those in this country, ii
will be seen that there is no cause fol
dissatisfaction.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

A DOCTOR WHO WAS EQUAL TO A CRI-
sIs.-The duchess of D., one of the
most aristocratic ladies of the Faubourg
St. German, had got possessed of the
idea that she had swallowed frog
She felt this said frog-she declared she
did-and its presence robbed her of
peace of mind, sleep, and even health.
The Partisan physicians had the rude
ness to deny the existence of this animal,
Ignorant as they were that the poor lady
suffered martydom. A fortunate chance
made her acquainted with DIR. Cabarus,
and to him she told her tale of woe. He
felt, with seriousness worthy of Hip
pocrates himself, the pulse of the fair
patient, inquired after various symptoms,
and when the charming aristocrat had
exhausted all her store of arguments to
prove her pet delusion, the youthful doc
tor said, after well-feigned pause
'Madame, the Trog Is Unere, puJ VIII
remove it, He then prescribed an in
nocent emetic, and went to the neares
flower shop, where he bought small
green frog. Armed with this confeder
ate, he presented himself once more be
fore the duchess, and placed large ba
sin of water in readiness. The emet
ic began to take effect. the duchess eye
filled with tears, and our doctor tool
advantage of the opportunity to slip tn
green frog into the basin. On seeing
the frog load was removed from th
duchess heart, and for an instant al
seemed well. The next moment she turn
ed pale, and, as DR.. Cabarus supports
her tottering frame she cried in dispar
ing tone: ''Oh, doctor [ am not ye
cured, for the frog has left little on
behind" ''Stop!'' cried Cabarus, with
out allowing trace of embarrassment
to be seen in his manner ''that W
shall soon see." He then threw search
ing glance upon the frog, which he ha
by this time taken in his hand, and Ut
tered with certainty that settled th
whole question, these words: "Madam
that is an impossibility, for the frog
a male !'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

A lady correspondent of a Los An
geles paper, describing the delights of
Southern seaside visit, paints the fol-
lowing pleasant picture: There are
flies in the honey, beetles in the sugar,
rattlesnakes under the pillow, and skunks
running over your feet.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

Coal mining by machinery is soon
likely to be successful fact. The sue
cessful working of a coal cutting ma
chine in England is likely to hasten such
consummation and also bring some re-
lief to the threatened fuel famine in that
country.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

.THoLEsALE ana retail dealers in Flour, Corn
Pork and Lard, Pants and Oils, Hardware
ID India Goods, Groceries, Butter and Cheese Also
i L. Bradey's l. X. L. Phosphate and Sea Fowl Gu
Ia anon TvoNRLY. IL. TwoMBLY.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
From the Paris Figaro.
American News by way of Paris--Startling
Adventures a Pacific Railroad Train.

It is known that the railroad from
San Francisco to New York passes
through reservations of several tribes of
Indians, who invariably regard the loco
motives as terrible monitors created by
the Maniton to exterminate the red man.
Several times already the Indians
have attempted to throw the cars off the
track. In these enterprises they were
led by one of the fercest of their chiefs,
a Cherokee named Naha, and surnamed
Mocking Bird. All their attempts hav-
ing failed, Naha resolved to change his
tactics.
Accordingly, on the I'd of June last,
he concealed himself near the rails, and
with extraordinary activity bounded
upon the foot board of train No. 81,
from San Francisco to New York. He
then slipped along the train till he
reached the locomotive, where he killed
the fireman with blow of his tomahawk,
stabbed the engineer with his knife, and
after scalping them, jumped on the ten-
der, brandishing his scalps and bowling
out savage war song.
The settlers along the line become ter
rifed as they saw the train, which now
dashed along at fearful speed, driven
by the ferocious engineer. Their situa-
tion was extremely perilous in fact,
they were running into the jaws of death.
Finally an officer of the navy, Mr..
Henry Pierce, determined to sacrifice
himself to save his fellow-passengers.
Armed with long dirk knife he ran
along the foot board of the train and
jumped upon the engine. The chief ut
tered a war cry and brandishing his TOM
ahawk, and hand-to-hand struggle was
commenced over the bodies of the engi-
neer and the fireman.
Ihe passengers put their heads out OF
the windows, and with an anxiety which
may easily be imagined, tried to see the
fight. In about minute Mr. Pierce
fell mortally wounded under Mockine
Bird. who, in the twinkling of an eye
scalped him. But while he was trium
phantly waving the scalp of the victim
in the air, Mr.. Pierce, who was still liv
ing, had sufficient strength to jump VI
and lunge his knife in the Indian.
, b4osses. iziliins him INSTANTLY. 4Ho thcI
, crawled to the valve handle, shut off th,
steam, and the train stopped.
The passengers run to the assistanc
| of this brave officer, but it was too late
he died two hours afterward.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

Fanny Fern says that when she sees
''a pretty man, with an apple head and
raspberry mustache with six hairs in it,
paint on his cheek, and little dot of
a goatee on his chin, with pretty little
blinking studs in his shirt bosom, and a
little necktie that looks as if it would
faint if it were rumpled, she always
feels desire to nip him with a pair OF
sugar-tongs, drop him gently into pot
of cream, and strew rose leaves over the
little remains
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

A young lady of Hannibal, Mo-, late
ly wrote to H. G. asking him the best
remedy to remove dandruff. The great
farmer replied, Use a rotating harrow,
if the surface is rolling, until the soil is
well loosened. then seed down with Can
ada thistles If this fails, 60 farther
West. where Indians are plenty and
frisky They remove dandruf by a
simple process, and warrant it never tc
return. = st. Louis Globe
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

A Greenfield. Mass, girl returning
home recently from lecture on electric
ity, got caught in thunderstorm, and
promptly pulled off her hoop skirt. not
caring to risk herself inside that kind
of a lightning conductor.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

POSTAL CARDs.-Ihe new postal cards
are to be light amber color. five by
three and one-eighth inches in size
On one side will be vignette head of
the Goddess of Liberty, with the words
Limited States postal card" engraved
and printed in the highest style of art.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

An old rail-splitter in Indiana, put
the quietus upon young man who chafed
him upon his bald head, in these words:
sYoung man, when my head gets as
soft as yours, can raise hair to sell. :
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
w. w. EATON,

TTORNEY and Counselorat Law and Claim Agent.
n Will attend the courts in Orleans and Caledonia
nties Barton, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

The pews of a Methodist church
on the boundary line between Penn
sylvania and Ohio, stand in the former
state and the pulpit in the latter. Penn
sylvania couples have to be married in
the yestibule
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
A. G. RORINSON.
wnI. w. GROuT.

iTHOLESALE dealer in Flour, Grain, W. l. Goods
Groceries, Lime, Plaster, Oil, Fish, Salt, Iron
h, Nails, Glass, &C., Depot Store Barton, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

Wonderful salt marshes have been
discovered in Republic county. Kansas,
from which sixty nine gallons of brine
evaporated render a bushel of salt Of
unequaled purity.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
MARTIN ARROTT.

rVHEEL WRIGHT, Carriage Maker and Genera
" Job Worker. Open and Top Buggies, and va
BIS styles of carriages always on hand. Glover Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
MATCH HIM.

An honest mana man without pretense,
Modest, but braye-though silent. full of sense:
His lightest fancies substantial facts
And his best thoughts translate themselves in acts,
No fogs Of doubt obstruct his steady gaze,
No vague, dim shadow, looming through the haze,
But all stands out clear, sharp and well defined,
Before the earnest challege of his mind
mind that, in the beginning, sees the ends,
Explores, compares weighs gauges comprehends.
nd with a force resistless as the tides,
Shapes to results whatever it decides;
clear, cool brain, well balanced and compact,
That in to-day's decide to-morrows act,
And, fruitful in resource, to all its needs
Measures the succor that must come in deeds;
calm and lofty courage, that cope
With direst perils, hoping against hope;
Patience that tires not, and an iron will,
Tenacious, stubborn, and persistent still;
That naugh can swerye from its one grand design
To fight it out and conquer-''on this line;"
From even disaster wrestling full success.
As in the conflicts of "the Wilderness"
And making all things to his purpose bend,
Till 'Appomattox" brings the glorious end.
Such are the traits that mark our CHOSEN MAN
Note him world land match him if you can,"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

Last week there we're twenty-five deaths
from small pox in st. Louis. The dis
ease is said to be on the increase.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02
THEN AND NOW.

r Every issue of New York San of late
is largely given to wishy- -washy poetical
effusions of which the following is fair
sample:
Grants administration
Has ruined the nation,
And broken its liberties down;
But these we'll recover
Ere autumn is
By voting for Greeley and Brown.
In one of the issues of this same New
York San soon after General Grant was
nominated in 1868, appeared the follow
ing:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-09-02

TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor in Chancery
Win attend courts in Orleans and Caledonia
mites Prompt attention given to collections
sensboro, Vt.