The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-07-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

VIII AND Wl6DOM-
A YolNG lover called his girl sweet
fawn, and next day the simpleminded Lass
discovered in one of her old school books
that "faun" was the name given to the
Roman deities, which were guardians Of the
woods, that their form was most like the
human body, but they had q short goats
tail and large horns. The next interview
between the couples was short and not very
sweet.
MAMA" said a little girl, whats the
meaning Of book being printed in 12mo
"Why, my dear" replied the mother, 9 1t
means that the book will be published in
twelve months.
In an article on a recent fair in that city,
the editor Of a Macon paper says brother
editor took valuable premium, but an un-
kind policeman made him put it right back
where he took it from.
"PoTAToEs n cried darkey peddler in
Richmond Hush dat rscket-you dis
tracts de whole neighborhood, came from
q colored woman in doorway. You kin
hear me. kin YOU n Hear You / kin
hear you mile" " Thank God for dat
Use hollowin' to be heard. Tatoes n
AN cid woman, on being examined before
magistrate as to her place Of legal settle
ment was asked what reason she had for
supposing her husband had a legal settle
ment in that town. The old lady said
9 He was born and married there and they
buried him there, and if that isn't settling
him there, ! don't know what is.
Two friends meeting, one remarked, ''I
al
exactly like you" Tell me who it was,
that may knock him down, replied his
friend. Don't trouble yourself, " said he,
81 did that myself"
An old Scotch lady had an evening party
where young man was present, who was
about to leave for All appointment in China
As he was exceedingly extravagant III his
conversation about himself, the old lady
said, when he was leaving. TAX guide
care Of yourser when ye are ava, for mind
ye, they eat puppies in China.
A ooUNrRYMAN in Savannah observed
gang of darkies laboriug on the streets.
each wearing ball and chain. He asked
one why that ball was chained to bis leg.
ITO keep people from stealing it, said
the darkey, heap Of thieves about here. "
"Do you think Jonah cried when Ne
was i'll the fish's bellyf was the question
put to an oily seaman by a sleek querist
Don't know, eplied Jack, "but
should think not, as there was plenty Of
blubber without his'n."
AT q recent trial the counsel for the
prosecution, after severely cross-examin-
ing witness, suddenly put on a look of
severity and exclaimed
Now, sir, was not an effort made To
induce you to tell different story M "A
different story from what have told, do
YOU meanF That's what | mean"
''Yes, sir; several persons have tried to
get me to tell different story FROM what
have told, but they couldn't" " Now,
sir, upon your oath, | wish to know who
those persons are. We'll, you've tried
about as hard as any Of them.
CONNECTICUT is excited because a young
lady Of Branford has been caught at rob
bing the mails. Why, bless the unsophis-
ticated Yankee heart, this is what women
have been persistently doing ever since
Eve robbed Adam Of his share Of Paradise
IF.-"See there, exclaimed returned
Irish soldier to q Gaping crowd, as he ex-
hibited with some pride hat with bullet
hole in it. Look At that hole, will you
You see that if it had been low crowned
hat, ] should have been killed outright"
SERVED HIM RIGHT.-"Ah Dick,
have buried my brother since ! saw you. "
Served him right" said Dick. "What
do you mean, sirP was demanded
why" said Dick, would it have been
serving him right TO leave him unburied n
LOOK hers, squire, where was yeon
bornF said persistent Yankee to five
minutes acquaintance. Ill was born, "
said the victim, "in fremont street, No.
"A, left hand side, on the first day of
August, 1910, at five o'clock in the after
noon; physician, DIR. Warren, nurse, Sally
Benjamin. Yankee was answered com
pletely. For q moment he was stuck.
Soon, however, his face frightened, and
he quickly said eas wa'al, | calculate
you don't recollect whether il was a frame
OF brick house, dew ye n
AN Irishman called at drug store t.
get bottle Of JOHNSON ANuDYSE LIN.
IMENT for the Rheumatism the druggist
asked him in what part Of the body il
troubled him most, q Be me soul, said he,
~ have It IN livery hOul and corner er me.
AN editor whose subscribers were remis
IN paying, lately published the following
announcement in his paper :-" To save our
readers the trouble of sending their sub
scrlptions by post, and to relieve two an
fortunates, we shall send TO each of our
debtors in the course Of few days, two
collectors, one Of whom has hardly recover
ed from the smallpox, and the other o.
whom has taken the itch" The delin-
quents did not wait to be cafsd upon, but
paid their dues promptly.
Where was Bishop Latimer burned tc
deathp asked teacher in a commanding
vOics. Joshua knows" said little cir
ut the bottom Of the class. "Wel," Said
the teacher, IF Joshua knows, he may
tell I'm the fire, replied Joshua, look.
J ing very grave and wise.