The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-02-29
~yoh,s" OH his Travels again.
Correspondence OF the New York


CLEVELAND, February, 1SI2.-Bcforc left
Elmra | called upon an old friend. In his
room was hanging the raggedest coat | ever
saw. ] observed, "Sau, what in thunder
arc Won keeping that coat for:" 1t looked
~ though crocodile had chcwed it ten years
for q cud, and tie missionary who wore it
want much more Use rs Il missionary"
"Why," said sam, "that Is my battle
coat"
Battle-coat," says 1; "what in thunder is
| batte-coat!"
"Why," said he, "you'yc seen a battle
fiag, haint We? We'll, tiat's battlefront"
"But," said !, "Sam, them amt shot holes.
Them is moth holes; and besides that, sam.
YOU didn't 90 tothe war"
"Hang it." says he, l know il, Jack. !
know IL; but the boy don't. You see, Eve
got boy growing up. lie is old enough
now to white the bureau and steal the pre-
serves. Well, you see, know l didn't do
nothing III the war; but l want my boy to
grow UP ard think did. want that boy
TO think his father was father Of his country,
and, like the colored troops, fought nobly.
SO you see, Jack, am keeping that coat to
show that boy when he grows up how his
father got shot facing the foes of his coun-
try
WELL" said I, Sam, do you know what
I'd do?"
He said he didn't Then told him that il
| had boy and thought that when he grew
up he would be cussed fool enough to believe
| that his father got shot into the back facing
the foes Of his country, I'd harpoon him, and
have child's funeral, instead of letting him
grow and make it more expensive to bury
him.
Sans battle coat has gone to help make O
carpet.
TROUBLE IN THE CARS.
/ was escorted to the cars by Il joint COM
mittee. suppose, as they called themselves
d joint committee, they must have been
butchers. started for Cleveland, which is
good ways to 60. l converSed with a
! learned man in the cars. He informed lie
that history repeats itself, and we had cow
bows in the revolution. and we had Bull
runners in the rebellion; and in the papers,
movements in real estate" meant "earth-
ouakes," and that domestic produce" was
"babies :" and he further remarked that
although our Legislature was in session i'll
january, yet it was an august body But
when he swore that he had seen live news
paper cot worried, and / asked him did
aouat;cs mean watermclons, and might his
name he Mr.. Bliss. He said no. Then
fold him I'd heard somethin' about Ignorance
was Bliss, and | suspected he might be the
cilSs.
He ddn't say no more, au.. II turned out
that he had got on the wrong cars. l1c ""s
bound for the Utica Insane Retreat.
4 TALK WITH A FREE MASON.
l talked with another fellow. He asked
me was 4 Mason? told him no ; that The
nearest ever came to Masonry, had been
called brick. Then he said he was Mason,
and had taken thirty-threc degrees.
"Why don't YOU take morcf" says I.
81 can't" says he, "that's The Whole Of
EN-
Says l, "Sir, do you sit there and try to
make me believe there are only thirty-three
degrees?"
"That is I'LL, sir" he replied.
"Pll bet ont" said I.
"Pll take the het,' said lie.
Then he asked me how | would prove
there was more than thirty-three degrees, and
| told him I'd leave it TO the first thermome-
ter we came to. lie got mad.
THE CROPS.
The crops look awful. There amt no Gp-
pies onto the trees. The corn his come UP
dried stlmps, and they cut the lair Oft the
country so short last summer that there amt
grass enough in hundred miles to lunch
nanny goat. Instead of attending to the
,rops, the farmers are fnoling their time away
round wood piles and fences. The chick
ms look rs though thas had been struck with
old lightning, and The only MARBLES that are
lcard come fro..n the hog pens. There arc
cry few she ,rt-horned cattle up here. All