davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

by JOSH BILLINGS.


Babys luv with all mi heart they
are mi sweetmeats they warm up mi
blood like gin sling; they krawl into
me and nestle by the side ov mi soul
like a kitten under a cook stove.
hav raized babys miself and kno
what am talking about.
| hav got grandchildren, and they
are wuss than the fust krop tew riot
amung the feelings.
IT could hav mi way, would change
all the human beings now on the face
ov the earth back into babies at once,
and keep them thare, and make this
footstool one grand nursery; but what
| would do for wet muses. don't kno,
nor don't care.
would like tew have fifteen babys
now on my lap, and my lap amt the
handyest lap in the world for babys,
neither.
My lap il long enuf, but not the
widest kind Nv a lap.
| am a good deal ov man, but kon-
sist ov length principally, and when i
make lap ov myself, it IL hot a mat.
trass but more like a couple ov rails
with a int in them.
| can hold more babys in my lap at
once than any man in Amerika, with.
out spiling one, but it hurts the babys.
never saw baby in mi life that i
didn't want tew kiss wuss then an
old maid in this respekt.
| hav seen baby's that have refused
tew kiss until they had been wasn't !;
but the baby want tew blame for this,
neither was l..
Thare are folks in this world who say
they don't luv babys, but you kan de.
pend upon it, when they war babys,
sumboddy loved them.
Babys luv me, too. | kan take them
out ov their mothers arms just as easy
as kan an unhedged bird out ov his
nest. They luv me because luv them.
And here let me say, for the comfort
and consolation ov all mothers, that
whenever they see me on the cars or on
| the steamboats, out ov a job, they
needn't hesitate minute tew drop a
clean fat baby into my lap; | will hold
it, and kiss it and be thankful besides.
Perhaps there IL people who don't
envy me all this, but it IL one ov the
sharp cut, well'defined joys ov mi life,
mi love for babys and their love for
me.
Perhaps there IL people who will call
it weakness, don't care what they
call it, bring on the 'babys, Unkle
Josh haz always a kind word and a
kiss for the babys.
love babys for the truth thare il in
theri, amt afraid there kiss will be-
tray me, their IL no frauds, ded beats
nor counterfts among them.
wish | was a baby mot only once
more), but forevermore.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
Domestic IiecIpes.

To Make Hard Water Soft.-Take one
ounce of fresh lime and stir il well in a
bucket of water, and stir all thoroughly
in a barrel OF water, and as soon a. il
settles, the water will be soft and fit
for use, as it will drive all impurities TO
the bottom. River water, when muddy,
is better to drink by this process.
To Keep Icc.-Make a double pocket
of strong wooden cloth, no matter how
coarse and faded it is. Have space Of
two inches or so between the inner and
outer pockets, and pack this space as
full as possible with feathers. You have
no need to use geese feathers hens
feathers are just as good. With a
pocket thus constructed and closely
tied at the mouth, few pounds of ice
may be kept a week.
Cinnamon RolLS.-Take some of the
shortening and sugar. Then make a
paste of butter, sugar, and cinnamon.
Roll your dough out thin, spread in this
paste and roll up, putting it in your
pans. Let them stand until they be-
come light, and bake. After they are
done, eat them with your coffee or tea,
just as you like.
Boiled Indian Pudding.-Sift one quart
of Indian meal, add one tablespoonful
Of lard, teaspoonful of salt, one-half
teaspoonful of soda, and half teacup of
nice Inolasses pour on boiling water
and stir till it forms a very stiff batter /;
wet the pudding bag, made of strong,
new cloth, in boiling water flour on the
right side, turn it inside out, and put
your pudding batter in tie it so it may
swell one-third, and boil three hours
with a boiled dinner. Serve with but.
ter and maple syrup, or sugar dissolved.
Strawberry Cake.-Prepare pound
cake mash ripe strawberries, and drain
them; spread the fruit evenly on the
cake and frost the top; stick large ripe
berries on the cake, before the icing
sets, sweeten the juice and serve il
with the cake; thi. is proper dinner
dish, but is good for tea also.
Plum Puddirg.-One pound Of raisins
one pound of currants, crumbs of sia
cent loaf of bread, grated one cup o.
-four, three eggs, one pint of milk, hal
quarter of citron, two cups of sugar, on,
nutmeg. Well beaten and stand oveI
night. Take five hours to cook. /
you want large one, take double tn,
quantity of ingredients.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
Ocean IratIjc.

There is something more than daily
ferry now between Europe and America.
In fact, the rate is something like a
steamer for every twelve hours from the
port OF Liverpool alone. During the
month of May, ffty-three steamships
left the Mersey, Of which thirty -four
came to New York, eight to Boston,
eight to Quebec and Montreal, and
three to Halifax, Norfolk and Balti-
more. Seventeen of these belong to
the Cunard Company, eleven to the In
man. five to the National, FIVE to the
White Star, ten to the Allan, and six to
the Guion Company, respectively.
When to these are added the ships of
the French and the German lines, we
get some idea of the prodigious increase
of late in steam communication between
the continents. More than $4,000 per-
sons were brought to America from
Liverpool alone during May-an in.
crease of nearly five thousand over the
number for May, 1871, and a total in.
crease since January, over the CORE
spending period last year, of eighteen
thousand. These figures are full oil
significance with reference to the future
OF the Republic.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

A wELL.KNowN clergym an, of Staley.
bridge, Dorsetshire, England - Rev.
George Rodgers-sails for New York in
July, for the purpose of selecting a spot
in the far West, wherein to found a
large English colony. His present
thought is to choose a site in Mime.
sofa, but he intends TO investigate
thoroughly the relative advantages of
different situations, and to pick out
that which seems to him the best. Mr..
Rodgers means to make his future home
with the colony, and the persons of
whom it is to consist will be actively
preparing during his absence, so as to
be ready to sail to the United States in
the fall. English papers say that this ex.
ample is likely to be followed by other
companies of congenial persons, if favor
al lie news 60 home of the success of Mr..
Rodgers experiment.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

ORIGIN OF a SAYING.-The origin Of
the popular saying, -" Those who live in
glass houses shouldn't throw stones" is
interesting. At the union Of England
and Scotland. Tin 1907, we believe), great
numbers of Scotchmen fiocked to Lon.
don. Buckingham hated the Scotch
bitterly, and encouraged marauders to
break the windows of houses occupied
by them. Some of the sufferers retail.
ated by breaking the windows or the
Dukes house, which had so many that
it was called the "Glass House." The
Duke complained to the King, and the
monarch replied, "Ah, Steenie; Steenie
those wha live in glass housen' should
be careful how they fling stanes."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

The japanese young girls who were
sent to this country to be educated are
now in Washington, and will there for
the present remain. They learn quickly,
are very studious, obedient, and tract
able, and set a very good example in
department to the Washington young
ladies. They are quite self possessed in
their manners, and impress strangers
favorably by their lady-like ways and
quick perception. The eldest carries on
conversation in English very well but
she thinks there are a great many
Charles in this country, and that we
talk very fast. They have not only be-
come accustomed to the American style
of dress, but like il, though they do
make such little blunders as wearing
things upside down and inside out.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

A CARNIvERoUs MULE.-The Yer.
sailles MO- Gazette says; " Mr.. Fred
Jones, residing some eight miles south.
east of this place, is the owner Of
a thrifty four.year-old mule. One of
his neighbors, it appears, has been grad.
ually missing his sheep, and supposed
that the dogs or wolves were devouring1
them not in the least placing suspicion
on the mule, it, as a matter OF course, J
was not watched. This work went on
until one day last week the children
were returning from school and beheld
the mule-he was engaged in making a,
meal on sheep and grass alternately
that is, bite of mutton and then q
nip of grass. Our informant states that
on hearing the sheep bleat, this mule
will leave its kindred and 60 in search
of its prey. This, of course, will be de-
MED by a great many as being reliable
hut our informant further states that
the mule has been watched by its owned
and others, and they find the facts al
above stated. This queer member Of
the animal kingdom has been placed in
a lot i'm order to prevent its further del
struction of sheep"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

New MODE OF WAsHING.-The i'll
effects of soda on linen have given rise
to new method of washing, which has
been extensively adopted in Germany,
and introduced into Belgium. The
operation consists in dissolving two
pounds of soap in about three gallons of
water as hot as the hand can bear, and
adding to this one tablespoonful of tur-
pentine and three of liquid ammonia (;
the mixture must then be well stirred,
and the linen stepped in it for two or
three hours, taking care to cover up
the vessel containing them as nearly
Theoretically as possible. The clothes
are afterward washed out and rinsed in
the usual way. The soap and water
NAV be reheated, and used a second
time, but in that case half a tablespoon
full of ammonia must be added. The
process is said TO cause a great economy
of time, labor and fuel. The linen
scarcely suffers at all, as there is little
necessity for rubbing, and its cleanli-
ness and color are perfect. The am
monia and turpentine, although their
defensive action is great, have no In.
furious effect upon the linen and
while the former evaporates immediate
ly, the smell of the latter is said to dis
appear entirely during the drying OF the
clothes.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

CARAT.-The word carat, used to ex.
press the fineness of gold, is so called
from an Abyssinian bean, which, from
the time of its gathering, varies very
little in its weight, and for this reason
is used in Africa as a weight for gold
as it is in India for gems and pearls
1t is, with Us, an imaginary weight
used to express the proportion of gold
in given mass of metal. Thus, if an
ounce Of gold is divided into "a parts
or carats, then gold 20 carats fine i.
that in which 20 parts are pure metal
and parts silver, copper, or some 9th
er alloy.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
The Peach Tree BOrer.

An Ohio fruit grower writes TO the
Fruit Recorder, giving his plan with the
borer: take raw stable manure, and
put from one 10 two forks full clear
round the trunk of the tree once each
year; it should be done in April. This
will keep ourthe worms, and will slim.
ulate the tree and make it grow thrifty
also If the manure cannot be had,
take soft soap In Barrys Fr,dt
Garden, we find the following remedy
given Where trees are already
affected, the proper course is to remove
the earth from around the collar of the
root, clear away the gum, destroy any
cocoons that may be found, trace the
grub through its holes in the tree, and
Kill it; then fill up around the tree with
fresh earth, and place a shovelful or
two of ashes around the tree
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

HOLD on Don't root up that ever.
green. 1t may have life in it, though
the foliage looks as if fire had passed
through it. A writer in an Eastern
paper says that the evergreens are not
killed, the foliage, the leaves only, are
hurt, and as they fall, new growth ap'
pears, and the trees attain their former
beauty and vigor. He advises those who
have evergreen trees or hedges, to cut
them back one-third, pruning we'll the
side limbs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
A COLD cement for Mending

A COLD cement for Mending earth
enware, says a recent English work,
reckoned great secret among work
men, is made by grating a pound OF
old cheese, with bread crater, into a
quart Of milk, in which it must be left
for period of fourteen hours. 1t should
be stirred quite often. A pound of un'
Stacked lime, finely pulverzed in a
mortar, is then added, and the whole
is thoroughly mixed by beating. This
done, the whites of 25 eggs are incor-
porated with the rest, and the whole
is ready for use. There is another ce'
ment for the same purpose which is
used hot. 1t is made of resin, beeswax
brio dust, and chalk boiled together
The substances to be cemented must
be heated, and when the surfaces are
coated with cement, they must be rub
bed hard upon each other, as in making
q glue Joint with wood.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

The New York EpiScopalian is author.
ity for the statement that "at full
meeting of the Romish clergy of the
New York archiepiscopal jurisdiction,
quite recently, petition was signed by
them asking the Pope to make his
future residence in the United States,
pledging themselves individually that
il New York were chosen fund would
be at once raised to place the temporal.
tiles of the Holy See on 70 citing thai
would rival their ancient grandeur"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

In 1850 the value of the real and per-
sonal estates of the Union was about
81, 600, 100000. By 1860 it had increased
to over sl6,000,O00,000. In 1870 it went
over $50 10000, 900. This is more than
quadrupling in two-thirds of a genera.
ton. The wealth of New York State
alone is five times as much as it was
ten years ago, and that of Pennsyl'
vania twice as much; and this has
not fallen alone upon The already
wealthy.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
Long Branch.

Long Branch is continually spreading
on all sides, and aspires to become the
American Brighton. The value of real
estate has been trebled within the past
year or two. A lot half mile inland
is now worth more than lot on the
seaboard was a few years ago, while a
piece Of land commanding an open
view of the sea will bring fancy price.
Ocean avenue now extends seven miles.
The Atlantic is rapidly encroaching
upon the shore, and last winter forty
feet of the bluff, directly in front of the
United States Hotel, was carried away.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

The Imperial German Parliament has
voted down proposition to employ
women in the Postoffice Department.
The Director General of the Postoffice
said, in the accompanying debate, that
he was opposed to appointing women,
because Such was their curiosity that
the secrecy of letters would cease to be
respected" From the history Of the
experiment in America, this seems to be
a very unjust charge.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

A PARTISAN journalist, who evidently
possesses the full French capacity for
startling concentrations, has appalled,
England by a calculation which APP.
parently proves that the strikes, in that
country, If successful, will injure pro-
duction to the extent of $500,000,000 a
year. The London Times predicts that
Great Britain will lose her industrial SUI
periority within decade. The scare is
not without its beneficial results, for il
has caused active attempts to settle the
difficulties by means of arbitration, and
these will probably succeed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

THERE were some Partisan dogs who
managed to escape being eaten during
the siege. This fact has lately been dis
covered by the French Society for the
Protection of Animals. A medal has
been voted by that body to poor wo-
man, who, singular to say, kept twenty
stray dogs safely through the whole
siege, although offered no less than
200 francs a piece for them for culinary
purposes. The Society has given a
like reward to gardener of Bercy, who
saved 1875 horses from a fire which
broke out in the stables Of the Lyons
Company. The first story is certainly
not the least remarkable of the many
strange things that happened during
that wonderful siege. How, at such a
time, woman of the working classes
could manage to get and to keep food
for the twenty canine refugees, who
sought shelter under her wing, passes
ordinary comprehension.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

The Rev. Charles 5. Pomeroy and
wife. of Brooklyn, n. Y, sailed last week
for Europe, borne down with grief fol
domestic affection as singular as it ID
severe. Two Of their children died
some years ago. Of the remaining
three, Angie Bell, girl of ten years.
died May 4 on the 18th of the SAND
month Charles T., aged three and 1
half years; and on the 25th, William
B., an infant of ten months. Mr.. and
Mrs. Pomeroy are thus left childless.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

CHLoRAL.-The M edical journals of
the country complain of the alarming
increase in the consumption of hydrate
of chloral. Indeed, one periodical
Good Health-alleges it is being used in
the most reckless manner. 1t is said
that even in Europe it is superseding
absinthe, opium, and alcoholic stimu-
lants, while its manufacture has in.
creased enormously. Liebig says that
a single establishment in Germany pro.
duces half ton per week, while, ac-
cording to the London Spectator, taking
chloral is the new and popular vice,
particularly among women, and is do.
ing at least as much harm as alcohol
The drug is said to be kept in thou.
sands of English dressing cases, and
those who begin to use it often grow SC
addicted to it that they pass their lives
in a sort of contetded stupefaction.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
How TO Raise Oats.

The following is Josh Billings plan /:
All you have to do to raise oats is to
pillow the land deep, and manure it well,
then sprinkle the oats all over the
ground, one in place, and worry up
the ground all over, then set up mites to
keep the chickens and woodchucks out
ov them, then kradle them together
with a kradle, then rake them together
with rake, then bind them together
with band, then stack them up with a
stack, then thrash them out with fail,
then clean them up with a mill, then
sharpen them on both ends with a
knife, then stow them away IN q gran
cry, then spend wet days and Sundays
trapping Tor rats and mice. 1t amt
nothing but plum to raise oats-try it,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

FARMERS POISONED BY WILD PARsNIP.-
Five young men near Flint, Michigan,
were blowing in a field and ate of the
root of what they supposed to be Sweet
Cicely (OsmOrhi-a long,Siyis), which is a
ileshy root with aspicy, agreeable tlavo. {.
In a few moments the one who first ate
of the root fell in a spasm and died.
Immediately two of the others were
taken with spasms, vhereupon one OF the
others mounted horse and started to
the house, a mile away, to get help.
He had TO ride about a mile, and on
reaching the house fell from the horse,
but succeeded in giving the alarm. The
farmer mounted the horse and started
for the field, and arrived there to find
three Of his sons lying dead within the
space of ten rods. The fourth was still
alive, and the father give him some to.
bacco which resulted in violent vomit.
ing and the saving OF his life. The one
who rode TO the house will probably re.
cover, according to a correspondent OF
the Detroit Tribune. from which paper
we gather these facts. 1t is supposed
they ate of the root of the Wild Parsnip
or Cowbane (Archemora rigida), very
poisonous plant. We give these detail:
this prominence as caution against
eating roots, plants or fruits which are
not known beyond peradventure to be
non poisonous.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

WINNIE REAx, the artistic manipulation
of Congressman and the Indifferent
handler of marble, has in press little
book of sketches, poems, etc.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

ONE Delaware farmer has shipped this
season about :, 900 quarts of strawberries
from less than an acre of ground.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

VARIATIONS AT VEsUvIUs.-The topog-
raphy of Vesuvius is reported to be
completely changed since the eruption.
A correspondent writing from Naples
says: :" 1t is as though an earthquake
had altered everything. Hills have ap
peared where but few days ago stones
stood for visitors to rest upon. Precipices
have been formed which almost prevent
further advance. All is altered the
very shape of the mountain has lost its
well-known outlines, and the view is
appalling"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12

MRS. PARTINGToN says that since the
invention of the needle-gun there is no
reason why women shouldn't fight as
well as men.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-07-08
Who Drinks the Beer:

Some curious facts were brought out
at the late Brewers Con .ress in New
York, the full proceedings OF which are
published in the Brcs0srs Gazette.
Among other things it appears that
Massachusetts, is the fourth State in the
Union in the manu- acture Of fermentei
liquors-a beverage her people are not
allowed to sell or drink. The States
that lead in production are New York
with 2,3O5.l45 barrels; Pennsylvania
with 9lS,9S6 Massachusetts with 525,-
73l; New Jersey with 5l4, lS9; Illinois
with 465, l24 and Missouri with 323,-
$40 Assuming that the beer produced
in each State is consumed there, the
order OF precedence per capits Is As fol-
lows: New Jersey, 2S2 halt p mt glasses;
New York, 26l; Massachusetts, III;
California, III. North Carolina pro-
duces the least in proportion TO the
population, and has bst one fourth OF a
,haIf-pint glass to each .inhabi'ant. In
Delaware the production allows Of l3
glasses q year, one in each tour weeks.
Connecticut has SO glasses q year, Or
one Q week.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-07-08

We are allowed to copy the following
extract from private letter Of an intel
lisent and prominent gentleman Of Mar
shall county: ...
"Our County Convention was held on
Saturday last and was largely attended
Resolutions were passed indorsing the
new Constitution, approving the action
o. the Parkersburg Convention and
pledging the solid support OF the De-
mocracy OF Marshall to its nominees.
Governor Jacob has no supporters
here among the Democracy, and will
not run the strength Of the Radical
party. Our advices from all parts OF
the States indicate great reaction in
the sentiment that seemed to favor his
election, upon his announcement. My
candid preston is, that few weeks
will demonstrate the fact clearly, that
he has not the strength that a straight
Radical nominee would possess"