The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-03-02
GtrrD'tstIiIqstcsr,
, pIysrER ON HIS TRAVELS
n1nhnn Yislts CincinnatI.

tIOhUV NlSltS SlhtAuhu
ro,,e,pondencc ofthc n. Y. Sun.
CscIyNArl, February, 1s7s.-This i
ont West, but there is wester Guy w s
,n"p his Is, nearer where the aurora, etc
yi VA" , ia A roarcr. Before ] LEFT Cleve
t,"J / bought u grain elevator Tor llitcer
n ,'%I / t6ok il with me. A drink o.
whi.ky Is a grain elevator. There arc
,wo kinds Of whisky-one IS Good' Int
olber isn't good. | have Observed INA.
me clobules in bad whisky arc the shape
of n triangle, and it Is the sharp corners M;
,bal scratch the throat going down, lhl
rIobules in good whisky arc rounu anu
don't hurt Queer.y-How would y oS
examine Irish whisky Answet-M ,!
Mikc.rye. scope, Of course. some WINS
XIV ia called benainc. A fellow drank :
mar" ny NJ il the other day and he hasn't
been seen since ,,urL,1,,,,
hrcu i0roq | would have LEFT here on a
rwI II Is FOUL play to eat turkeys and
chickens in ONO. Here hens lay to set
AMI sil 10 lay In New York Hen Smith
mean, "% a male man. Out here they call
female Turkey Hen Turkey, because they
don't know any better.
On the way here stopped to dine, !
had turkey. 1t was awful tough, and
they carved It with hammer. l con
ycrsed on the subject Of tough turkeys
with u saddle.rOck native. Says he;
ado you SEQ that yellow house"
Says |, al DO"
"Well," says he, "thc man that lives
there doesn't live there now he resides
in the State prison"
"What fOr?n said |. Then he said il
happened this wise: "You see last
thanksgiving that man wanted some
turkey. He had one that he, had adopted
and raised from child, and q week be-
fore Thanksgiving he commenced to try
to kill it, Every day he'd take his rifle
and shoot that turkey for an hour, un.
til one day an officer came along and ar.
rested him" On what charge" says l.
There were two charges" says hei zone
was in the gun, and the other was for
making counterfeit coin" mo-" said l.
YES" said he. "You sec, stranger" said
lie, "thesc balls would strike on that tur-
keys hide and natten and fall off and the
boys picked them up and passed them
for five cent pieces, and he couldn't prove
An aIbinO, so he went to prison"
Igalcd into the liquid depths OF that
fellows mild blue eyes, and says |,
stranger, Know Of hut one thing tough:
or than that turkey.S gWhavs that y
says he. Says |, "the story.g.sI>5 zs4all.,
Then told him that this story remind.
ed int Of one, touching onel GhOcR full
Of melancholy pa!hos and passionate leel.
ing, that beat the story. Of the boy who
stood on the burning deck, anliprelerred
getting bowed up by a ship 70 getting
bowed up by his daddy. He subscribed,
50 related my
BEAR HUNT.
When | was II boy Icppldn't see the
c0nsislcncC of my father making me go to
school, when he wouldn't go himself.
The teacher one day. used up rattan
enough on me TO make a dozen cane.
bottom chairs, because / couldn't tell how
many lrigids there arc iltle lrigid zone.
50 next day played hockey. l went to
a gun store, and says |, al want u gun"
says the fellow, "lIow many harrels?"
Says |, II don't wantNny barrels, want
agun." ...# ".'f,..
So he gave me gun with two holes
running lcngthways, then l bought u
pound OF powder, and | went n cunning.
lgOt ont Of town and loaded my gun. /
poured the pound Of powder into the two
long holes. Then l put two LieraltLS in
one side and two IribUaes in the other.
Then | rammGd EN- down till they
touched bottom, then | rested my gun
across rail fence and waited for some
thing To come within range. | didn't
care linker's darn whether il was n
grass,hOppGr or COW, SO long as it was
alive and in the enjoyment OF perfect
health. Pretty soon little bird came
squcaling and buzzing around in the vi.
entity OF the gun. l pulled both triggers
and IN
There came a burst OF thunder sound,
The h0y-Oh where was he:
ASK OF the Winds that far around
With fragments strew the seal"
1t wasn't good gun, and my remains
were taken home in a Tin Kettle. The
pieces were carefully collected and scwcd
together. Says II STRANGER, just look at
my nose; would youbelieye thsltwason once
alhumb?" Says he, MOL wouldn't
"Well," said !, "you guessed right; 1t new
or was" And | further remarked that
when l all sewed together / revived,
and found lhad been sewed upwith sew.
ing machines, and in the room stood eve
ry sewing machpe maker IN tho United
States waiting for certificates One want
ell me to write that his machine ran and
Sewcd the easiest; another that his made
the least noise; another that his worked
the smOothest; and Pm darned if one fel.
low with patent hemmer didn't propose
to rip the stitches inmy neck and hem my
head on to show how perfectly his ma
chine worked.
But what agitNted me most was to find
the fellow there who lent me the gun.
lie wanted me to write that for durabili.
~, safety and lightness his was the best
make OF gun known. Finally I signed a
paper, stating that any party in search Of
agun that, after the tatigues Of days
hunt, would cause them very little trouble
getting it home, would do well to get
lhelr guns Of him. -
but" says the stranger, "what made
the gun burst?" -
well" says l, Railways laid it TO the
oostinacy Of that darned Tribune. II was
always M easy matter to move the
Lfr'ISi, but the Tribune alwnya was rs
stubborn rs mule, and when that pound
~ powder got on fire the. Iiemd went.
Tue Ii@HH stuck, and something else