Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-11-08

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it, The first proposition was to take the Town
Hall then we thought of taking the Institution
Hall, and finally we got so stiff that we thought
of taking Mr.. Fultzs fine house any how, but
there was a so singularly unanimous determine.
| ton on all hands to make us pay the rent in ad-
| vance, which we regarded as direct evidence o.
social prescription, that we got down to a 'sneat
| and commodious'' room on second floor on
Main st with all the the modern improve
ments" which improvements consisted of a
fight of steps and two windows and coal scut-
tie, which the former occupant had forgotten to
take away with him. The next step was to Sc
cure President, and it was necessary that he
should have strong combination of money aad
talent. Our eyes naturally turned to Hon. A.
Fl. Fl. Stuart, nd we are forced to say he treat
ed our Committee most unnaturally. We report
his interview with our Committee tor the benefit
of purely literary posterity:
The Committee after having had some diff
Guilty in getting in at the front gate.) s'Hon-
ored Sir" 1--WE had agreed on this form Of ad :
dress to make the thing certain, 1--WE have been
instructed by the Saturday night Club, purely
literary organization, to inform you Of your
election
Mr. Stuart-"Yes that will do. You will
will find your way out of the front gate without
the slightest danger. Take care of the newly
macadamized sidewalk
The Committee -"But Honored Sir, you are
elected President"
Mr.. Stuart-"Certainly, you are quite right,
but am not worthy Of it. You will find the
front gate eligibly situated just ahead of you"
The Committee-"But really, you don't seem
to understand"
Mr.. Stuart -"Oh, yes, I understand. You
will find the front gate just next to the street ~
1t was very touching to the committee to see
Mr.. Stuart so humble as to think himself I'M
worthy of being our President, and they deter
mined to offer the proud position to Mr. Jno. B.
Baldwin. He must have thought he was un-
worthy too, for when they reached the house,
there was poked under the door the following
slip of paper
81 am out of town. As heaven s my Witness
am. Don't wait for me. 1 am not here. This
can be proved by eye witnesses. ]. B. B." 81
This began to look like nobody was worthy
of the position. People are so strange about
public positions. But the Committee thought
they would try one more man and they lighted
on Mayor Trout. The interview was most hu-
initiating TO the Committee. The Mayor was
sitting in his office and mistook them for pris-
oners.
20 The Committee Honored Sir, The Staunton
Literary Club earnestly desires"
The Mayor to Chief of Police, Parrent-What
have these men been doing?
officer Parrent-"Can't say your Honor, but
they look-well they look suspicious ..
The mittee-"Great Heavens, Mr. Trout
you don't understand. We have been unfortu-
nate in two applications"
The Mayor-"Oh yes, I see-vagrsnts. Can
you give bail to leave the town 2"
This was finishing blow, and after a very
brief explanation the commit tee returned to the
club-room much disheartened. 1t didn't disap-
point US as body, however, and we elected
President with great enthusiasm. Before the
election we discarded the miserable recommen-
daton of wealth and the other inconsiderable
one OF brains, and then had no difficulty. The
man we elected had every other recommendation.
Modesty forbids the publication of his name
The first meeting night was dismal enough
To tell the whole truth about it, Tobsons wife
had hung over US like drawn sword ever since
the thing had been talked Of We all had
that instructive apprehension of her, which men
have of a woman who has "a will of her own"
We all knew that meant allowing no.
body else's will. We had all looked upon
Tobson with feeling of pity. He was so active
and SO cheerful, SO gay-heared, SO hopeful about
what he called the "high mission of the club
and we all knew that his fate would bear a
string similarity to that of Moses with regard to
the promised land and that he would never be
allowed 10 participate in the shigk mission to
which he looked forward. On the opening
night we heard sharp voices out on the pave
ment and hastily locked the door. A nervous
listening at the window revealed the following
conversation
Tobson-"My dear, it's purely literary"
Mrs. T.-Purely fddlesticks. Do you call
pipes and bottles literary? They had all better
selves.
Tobson-Enjoying themselves | !!
Mrs. T.-Yes, like reasonable men, not like
brutes. The Mayor ought to stop it, and he
would if he did his duty.
Tobson -tBut, my dear, it is purely literary
can't be any harm"
Mrs. T .-"There's harm anywhere where moth
ing but men gather. They are vile wretches
who
This was awful and we turned down the light
and sat anxously waiting to hear her go. As
the departing footsteps were heard, the light was
turned up and revealed six white faces. 1t was
unanimously agreed that poor Tobson must give
up his latch key. 1t was q hard decision, but
we could not risk the appearance in our midst
Of that angelic woman. 1t was unnecessary
trouble. The poor fellow gave it up n,xt day
and sent in his resignation, which will be hand
ed in next week. He said he wished he was
dead and we honestly believe be did.
RETURN OF THE ALBEMARLE HUNTERS The
merry blasts of the hunters horn and the cries
of the lessled BOUNDS, announced to the citizens
ofstaunton on Saturday afternoon, the approach
of the returning hunting party, which left here
on the Monday before. The appearance of a
train of half a dozen wagons, with large
pack Of hounds coupled two and two with iron
bars, confirmed the announcement. On the
wagons were mounted about Is men, all look
ing rough enough after their weeks sport.
They drove up to the American Stable yard and
soon scattered, enjoying themselves with the re-
lation and discussion of the fpn they had had.
The party is known as the Albemarle Hunting
Company, and is composed of party of highly
respectable gentlemen. of which Mr.. Peyton s..
| Coles is the President They have purchased