Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1872-02-24
THE BACHELORS wOOING.
BY MATTE DYER BR1Ts.

BascOm Brown was a respectable
old bachelor. Whether a bachelor
from choice or necessity history say
eth not; but it is a fact that Bascom
Brown continued from boyhOod un-
til he was "'fair, fat and fifty" in a
state of single blessedness, or wretch
ness, as you choose
And he might have continued so
forever had not fate, in the shape
of comely little widow, oYertaken
him. This little widow was Mr..
Browns landlady, and her name
was Mrs. Briggs. do not suppose
Mr.. Brown had ever read the IA
nous bit of advice given to the re-
doubtable Samiyel by the elder Wei
ler: "Samivel, SamiVel, beware of
de viddersI'
Bascom Brown had boarded with
Mrs. Briggs for something like five
years, aud in all that time not a
word of what had been said respect
ing the horrors of a boarding house
would apply to the homelike esta-
blishment presided over by coZy,
comely Mrs. Briggs. Her household
appointments were of the neatest,
her boarders the most respectable
people could wish to know.
Mr.. Brown, by virtue Of being
! the oldest boarder and having been
| longest in the house, was the privi-
| legged character and main standby
of the little widows family. He
had the pleasantest room, the best
seat at the table cor by the parlor
freside, and all his little personal
tastes and comforts were looked af-
ter by Mrs. Briggs with the utmost
eXactness.
No doubt it was this fact which
prevented in a great degree his feel
ing any need of home of his own
and somebody to look after him,
and conspired to keep him a bache-
lor. His habits were as regular as
clock-work, his wants moderate and
readily gratified. What more could
man desire?
But not always was he permitted
to pursue the even tenor of his way.
"a change came o'er the spirit OF
his dream" or rather a change came
over the Briggs establishment,
which banished his dreams entirely,
and disturbed his yirtuous slumbers
beyond the power even of a patient
man to endure in silence.
Mrs. Briggs admitted new boar
der, Worse than that, she put him
in the very next room to Mr.. Brown;
and, worst of all, the young man
was musical, and had violin.
Now, unaware that this fact
will tell against my hero, neverthe-
| less L must write it-Mr. Brown was
not musical.
Good music, if it were the best,
| he could endure; bad music was
simply torture to him. And this
Young mans music was the very
worst, for which reason, perhaps,
he inflicted it on his suffering neigh
/ Dor at the most unreasonable hours.
Go to bed when he would, that
/ violin was poor Browns accompan-
| iment. Get up early or late, it was
| still the same, and if he dropped
| down fer an after-dinner mad his
dreams were ruthlessly scattered by
the terrible Toot, toot, QeaK, qeak,
of that horrible fiddle, every pas
sage winding up with an excruciat-
! ing yell which would have been Gre
difable to the united chorus of all
the cats in the neighborhood.
Human flesh and blood and ner.
yes could not endure forever. Mr.
Brown concluded at last that one OF
two things must be-either that OBJ.
noxious young man and his fiddle
must find another place or he must
And at length, in view of his stand
ing in the house, he resolved to ash
Mrs. Briggs to dismiss the new boar
der, and allow him to remain il
peace.
This, however, was a delicate un
dertaking. There was nothing il
the world against the young mai
but his music, and though Mr.
Brown decided there could not wei
be anything worse, he knew Mrs
Briggs tender heart would shrink
from issuing an edict against him
His own peace of mind and repos
of body depended upon the depar
ture of that unfortunate young man
so, one afternoon, summoning u
all his resolution, Bascom Brow
took himself and his mission to tn
little widows cosy sitting-room an
knocked for admittance.
y CHEEKY ''come in" bade him en-
ter, and in moment more he wa
socially seated in a chair comforts
bly, near Mrs. Briggs, much elate
, to find her alone and ready to lis
: ten.
81 hope you are well to-day" OF
served the plump little matroI
with a thoughtful care for his wei
: fare.
.|Yes-ah-quite well; but some
Ia 1at
ter. Mrs. Briggs"
Indeed! Is there anything ca
: do for youP
| ''My dear Mrs. Briggs, you ar
; the only one who can do anythin
l for mel" exclaimed Mr.. Brown
= warmly.
) The widow blushed, and edge
l her chair a step farther away.
/ "It has been on my mind goo
2 while. 1t is important, you see,
? went on Mr.. Brown, land L had rt
+ solved to speak to you to-day"
: ''Yes?" observed Mrs. Briggs il
quiringly..
But having begun his task, NJ
Brown found it not very easy to &
on; he hesitated for words in Whic
: next to express himself.
!. "Yo ou see-all-I-Mrs. Brigg
: your house is Very-ah-a very con
o Portable place to board"
: Pm sure 1 try to make it so,
. said the little widow.
Y 'Yes-but-but-now, if we ha
4 the house to ourselves; -if-if-'
;. "Yes, that would be pleasant,
: whispered the little widow, turnin
d red as a rose.
: "Then-then-why shouldn't W
; have 1t so?r cried Mr.. Brown, sa,
= ing little more than he meant
: his eagerness.
IS "Why, am sure I never meaI
to marry again." sighed rosy Mr.