The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-07-20
How the Deacon Got Caught.


this city tile very common beverage
known DIS soda water, and which is dealt
out SO un stariHgl5 at every corner dur
ing the heated term, is considered ). to
use their own language, "thin drink"
But as this ingenious mixture of wind
and water is termed chin" :.strong
liquors, such as wtisHies, are altogether
too "thick" for a steady warm weather
drink, so. the imbiber who must ,'mois
ten his hucs" with some liquid refresh
II en'. seeks a pleasant combination
of the two classes of drink, which
forms happy combination that
exhileratds, yet is not Intoxicating,
1t is customary among these bibulous
90 betweens to enter drug store, call
Tor soda water, name their syrup, at the
same time giving wink to the dis
penser of "slush, who takes the goblet,
in which, he places the syrup, then
stoops eo%a beneath she counter or re-
tires to back room. where, by, some
mysterious chemical change, the con
tents arc colnred darkly, aud the snda is
then let in, upon the mixture, which is
handed to the customer with wink
from the clerk. So much for the pro
cess now fur the sequel.
Saturday, venerable gentleman from
Che country who is respectable church
deacon, a Justice Of The Peace, u mem
Der of the "i'and of Hope" and Cool
Tempar in his native village, ame 10
this city Co trade little in dry goods
aud purchase such agricultural imple
ments as he needed to plant aud cuiti-
vate his sprfng crops, The deacou is
strictly temperate, aud never looks upon
the Vine when it is red any more than
he. does when it is any other color
Unfortunately. Cur cid friend suffered
from opthalrlS, in i,is .,,i.l,, A.ys, mnien
left him with an optical peculiarity
which aaass.l .,as.liis s14.aEsifs
every few seconds, aud to those not
familiar with his infrnity, give him
the appearances Of intentionally wink ing
The deacon" is p,ssionately fsul Of
soda water and suslr ligks beverages
He loves to feel the gaseoas compound
cotersieg dowr his sroat, alNt creating
internal connections and typhoons, that,
however eueurab4e by old,r persons,
throw hsbics into agony. and require
prompt doses OF peppermint so on
Saturday afternoon, after he had bought
a few shovels, plows, aud Dolly Var
den for his wife, he thought he would
fill up with soda water and drive ON
toward home, He entered drug store,
inquired the price of the desired refresh
ment, the deposited mis- scrip and
awaited his mixture.
What syrup do you want said The
utbanc clerk US he mopped off the mar
bic counter with the same towel he used
a moment before to remove the honest
sweat from his brow.
"Oa! giss me sasaparilly that's
about as heal;hy as anything, 1 guess. T"
(llere the deacou's eye-lid went back on
him and droppedquickly)
"All right" replied the foentsin
tender, as he disappeared below the
counter and came up moment later
with tie drinking glass containing about
three fingers of "sasaparilly," to which
he added the other ingredients, and
handed it to the deacon The latter
drained the contents to the very dregs,
Cneu Dfusiisu Siis iro;a iTuii iiis ,iivu,ii,
smacked his lips, and Said "phat syrup
is a lcotle stronger than they generally
make it, hut my blood is out OF order,
and / guess III take another glass )" at
the saue time his eye-ld futtcred
lneanmgly as befeae.
The dose was repeated, and the soda
water oiber lefc the shop. About halt
an hour later he entered atGihEr
establishment where sis announced
Soda aud Mineral Water on Draught /"
1t was noticed that the deacon walk ed
as if he had the string halt as'ke entered
the door, and his spectacles were upside
down on his nose. Lie called for Con
gress' Wator' at that place, snying he
."did' not iael quite right, and was afraid
he had used too much syrup in his soda
water at the other store, or else he was
bilious" Lis optical weakness exhibited
itself as ho' spoke, 'dand returning the
the wink, the clerk retired to u dark
closely then returning, filed up the glass
MI