The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-04-06
Items.

Doctors generally agree about bleed
Ssg their patients.
josh Billings says: If man haint got
. well balanced head, I like to zoe him
part his hair in tho middle.
Steam il servant that some times
Ale". as his master.
IA kbachelor's face 10 often the worse
fef wear, . married msn's for wear and
tear,
; sM sAi@ tpalgeeaa I cannon SO na.ur-
ally that when he was finishing the
,irtsss0 tsss0pohr hole, it went off at great price.
~ An uglyr old bachelor suggests that
no, births lphepld DO published under the
= lhsad,of New Music ;; r "a
sinfs Josh Billings says very truly, You'd
.hbsttar not know 80 much, than to know
nj so,mapy things that ain't s,.' ls
a&.7s Tell the mistress that have torn the
b aeartain, said gentleman lodger to q
- female domestic. Very we'll sir, mis-
70 tress. will put it down as rent
'a'''t Advice to husbands-Settle as much
money upon your wife as you can flor
her second husband, poor fellow may
noslhave sixpence.
'''|'' A love match was broken up the other
evening by tho gentleman, while inspired
BY the inebriating glass, introducing the
lady as his future prisoner
weir When q young man of Dubuque aske
young lady to take his arm she gazes
on him with a vaccinating smile. N. B..
This is as low as we shall go on these
smallpox jokes. -
Say, Jones, what's the matter with
your eyef r. 'Oh, nothin' only my wife
aid this morning I'd better get up an
light the FIRE; told her to make it her.
+ aseaf. That's ALL
"5gHdge Jefries, pointing with his cane
at prisoner befor him, observed, There
=" 10 great rogue at the end Of this stick
,' The man replied, at which end, my
b'iofd Z. 9a9's : .'a
!, Mr.. and Mrs. Hard, of Ind, were
widower and widow with children when
they were married, and now when tLey
:: quarrel, they vent their anger by whip
ping each others children, which is
peculiarly hard on the children.
,rcd Angelina, my angel, can you tell why
your lovely eyes are like friends separa-
aedi BY distant climes? No, Augustus
4 cant. Tell me, oh, tell me, why
poshey're thus.' Because they correspond,
bnt never meet jas
Josh Billings says that the difference
-ibotaeen q blunder and mistake is this;
sfIVp . 's.'sn pnts down u Layl umbrellas
t0iand gtakess UP "a good one, he makes =
a mistake but when he puts down good
one and takes up bad one he makes 3:
srT pgunder. III II II 7i8 -, - =
Gwob'Have you ground at those tools right,
as told you this morning when I went
away P'said carpenter to rather green
lad, whom he had taken for an appren.
'tice. aeAli but the handsaw, SIR replied
the lad, ,proinptly;'I couldn't get quite
al the gaps out of that
a Norwich correspondent ofthe Utica
Herald in writing Of revival in pro-
gress at that place, says" Among those
received upon profession Of faith were
Aatnber OF our leading citizens and best
business men, who heretofore stood high
In the estimation of the public
,or .AIWestern Paradise is thus descrb-
ia: NO income tax; no internal revenue;
no spies to see if you treat friend ON
8 Sunday; no special police; no dog tax,
/, sehool tax, or bounty fund. And, to
4 end With, the Indians and half breeds
q can't tell one greenback from another,
Il, 90 all our ones are tens
Dibbs and his wife were indulging in
"reminiscences over their dinner mats and
RAISING 'How one thing brings up an
other said the lady, absorbed in pleasing
rctrospection, YES replied Dibbs;san
emetic for instance He can't see why
she should call him mean thing and
leave the table in huff.
'h'' a New Haven landlord on lately nre.
sehting his bill for rent to his tenant, an
I'M, Di, was taken into his private Office
rapd shown skeleton, with the remark,
'1'That man came in here just two weeks
ago with bill He was somewhat
startled, but quieted down when told
that me copid be excused for this time.
But,in future--!'