St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-04-12
ST. SSuhnsburp Galedunian.
After-Dinner Reading.

wanna village HiN my iiidi i''
wife indecently soon after the fuherai
of the first, the Young men OF the place
notified their disapproval by tilfho OH
serenade during the progress VI '"
wedding feast. The vulgar lra' !, VI
a man expostulated i'll the i"iio"ins
style Il say, pOys. You ought l" w
ashamed of vourselts to he making All
dis noise ven dare vas funeral here so
soon"
A keeper who was taking two con
victs to the State prison last Week
when the train. stopped at sing sing,
called out, step out, gentleman, nj
teen wears for refreshments
"What would YOU do if mamma
sbouId die ," asked IL lady. with whom
we have the honor of an intimate ac-
ouaintancc. of little thrre-ycar old
pirl that we wouldn't take Il hundred
dollars for. "Well, mamma, was the
melancholy response, Il spoSr should
have to spank mySelf"'
Discerning child twin" has heard
some remarks made 10y paPa) Are
Won our new nurse ?" Nurse eS,
dear" Child -"Wcll. then. | III one of
those boys who can only Ice managed
bv kindness: 80 You had better get
some sponge-cakc and oranges at once
GrSEKo,IrY UNLIMITED. Gen. Ed
ward McCook was standing III the
Sherman house, yesterday, talking
with Il friend. when he was accoSted by
n secdv looking individual of woche-
gone aspect, who approached and. i'll II
voice quivering with emotion, inquired ::
N,l ',.l. ht.lInN,. ~
eyes, sir" courteously replied the gen
eral. Whcreupon the man produced Il
dirty cotton handkerchief, and made an
unsuccessful attempt to hide the tears
which swellcd up from his hearlng
bosom. As soon as he could command
his voice ne fIltcred, feelingly: Il WAS
with You at Memphis, sin" 81 never
was AT Memphis said the general. Il
/ meant Manassas" hurriedly rcioincd
the emotional veteran. ''Ah, yes, NAH
ass;ls," returned McCook; 'what regl-
ment did YOU belong to-" ''Thc sec
ond Illinois battery, sir, said the other,
with cheerful alacrity. Just So" was
the generals dry comment, as he pressed
a five-dollar bill into the mans palm,
remarking to his friend as the second
Ilinoisian" shufflrd away, Il never had
such battery in my command"
Chicago Tribune.
"Why Ichabod, thought You got
married more'n Il year ago ," 'Wcll,
Aunt JeruSlIa, il was talked of, but
found out that the girl and all her folks
were opposed to it, and So | Jest give
'em all the mitten and let the thing
drop"
Schoolmistress. to dull little boy i
"Johnny. I'm ashamed of YOU. when
was your age could read twice rs well
as You can" johnny "Ics'm but
You had Il different teacher from what
got"
A clerk in Il large dry goods store in
this city was working ont Il certain
alphabetical list of accounts. and calling
to one of the members of the firm Ia
know how far he should 90 in the list
was for moment thunderstruck at the
reply 60 to L."-Free Press.
A clergy man chose for his text on one
occasion IL passage of Scripture which
had been variously interpreted. In
concluding his sermon he said, These
are the conclusions have reached at
ter the most diligcnt study, but must
llllDIll ' oU lIlul lllt' toWWtHtuNIS UtSU-
gree Wjh me-" \ farmer, IL great add
mirer of the parsons eloquence, had
paid marked attention ~ the discourse
He went home, filled il large bag Will
choice kidney potatoes, and packed
them off to the parsons house with the
following note:
"Rererend and Dear sir: You told
me this morning as how common tdtu,s
did not agree rih yo". hope as choice
kidney does" That farmer don't live
in Vermont or New Hampshire.
Some people act as if their debts wer,
like coffee, and would settle themselves
i'll time 10y standing.
A grocer recently had pound of SII-
gar returned, with Il note stating thai
it contained too much sand for table
use, and not enough for building pur-
poses.
''Pa. is Pennsylvania the father of al
other States ~ ''Ccrtanly not. my
child; why do .you ask that question ,
because | see all the newspapers call
it Pa"
Sarah. have any of those miSchicv-
Gus children been playing with the pi-
ano while have been out of town
Some of the keys won't sound at all.
Sarah please, mum, don't know
nothing about it - lcaStwiSe, Master
Tom said there WAS something wrong
with it, which he WAS sure there WAS Il
mouse in it. SO he got Joe to hold NJ
the cover while he put the dog and eat
into it; but instead of catchin' the
mouse they took to tightin'. and did
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