Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1872-07-19


clipper and high steppin' has to have their
come down, and the deacon he had TO bey
his.
"Tbat are Sunday, remember Il now
just as well as II f'twas yesterday. The par
son he give his gret sermon, reconcilin, de-
crees aud free agency-everybody said that
are sermon was masterpiece. He preach
ed 1t up TO Cambridge at commencement
but 1t so happened II was one o. them bilin'
hot days that come in August, when YOU
can fairly hear the huckleberries a sizzling
and cookin' on the bushes, gnd the locust
keeps grating like a red hot saw. Wal
such times, DEGREES or no DEGREES. the best
on us will get sleepy. The old meetin'
house stood right down at the foot OF a hill
that KEEP off all the wind, and the sun
blazed away at them gret west wnders,
and there was pretty sleepy times there.
Well, the deacon he few round a spell, and
woke up the children and tapped the boys
On the head, and KEEP everything straight
as he could till the sermon was most
through, when he rally got tuckered out,
and he took a chair and sot down in the
door right opposite the minister and fairly
got asleep himself just as the minister got
up to make the last prayer.
"Wal, Parson Morrel had a way o. pray
in with his eyes open. Folks said II want
the best way, but II was Parson Morrels
way anyhow, and so as he was prayin' he
couldn't help seein' that Deacon Titkins
was a noddin' and bobbin' out toward
the place where old Dick was feeding with
the sheep, front o the meetin' house door.
Lem and me we was sittin' where we
could look out and we jest sees old Dick
stop loedin' and look at the deacon. The
deacon bad little round head as smooth
as an apple, with nice powdered wig on
it, and he sot there maxim bobs and bows
and Dick begun to think it was suthin sort
o. pussonal. Lem and me was sittin' lest
where we could look out and see the hull
picter, and Lem was fit TO split.
"'Good, now,' says he, that critterll pay
the deacon Off lively, pretty soon.'
THE deacon bobbed his head spell,
and old Dick he shook his horns and stamp.
ed at him sort O. threatnin'. Finally the
deacon he give a great bow and brought
his head right down at him, and old Dick
he sot out full tilt and come down on him
ker chunk, aud knocked him head over
heels into the broad aisle, and his wig flew
one way and he tother, and Dick made a
lunge at 1t as it flew, and carried II off on
his horns.
"Wal, you may believe that broke up the
meetin' for one while, for Parson Morrel
laughed out, andall the gals and boys they
stomped and cared, and the old deacon he
got up and begun rubbing his shins-cause
he didn't see the joke ont.
"'You don't orter laugh says he, it's
no laughing matter-its a solemn thing
says he. 4 might have been sent into 'tarn-
ity by that darnod criitur,' says he. Then
they all ruared and haw hawed the more
to see the deacon dancin' round with his
little bny head so smooth fly would trip
mp ont. 4 believe my soul, you'd laugh
to see mo in my grave. says he.
Wal, the truth ont was, twas list one of
them Dustin up times that natur has, when
there ant nolhn' for it but to give in, twas
jest like the ice breakin' up in the Charles
rivec-it all come ut once and no whoa tot
Sunday or 10 Sunday, sin or no sin, the
most on 'em laughed till they cried, and
couldn't help it.
"But the deacon he went home feelin
up his wig and handed it to him. Says he,
'cld Dick was playing tithing- man, wa mt
he, deacon? Teach you TO make allowance
for other folks that get sleepy.
"Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to
Aunt Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly Ho-
kum's, aud they he'd a pot o. tea over IT,
and greed ii was awful of Parson Morrel
to set such an example, and suthin' had
got to be done about it. Miss Hokum said
she alters knew that Parson Morrel hadn't
no spiritooality, and now it had broken out
into open sin, and led all the rest of 'em
into ii, and Mrs. Titkins she said such
man want fit to preach, and Miss Hoku kum
said she couldn't never hear him preach
ag'in, and the next Sunday the deacon and
his wife they hitcbed up and driv eight
miles over to Parson Lathiop's and took
Aunt Polly on the back seat.
"Wal, the thing growed, till ii seemed as
if there warn't nothin' else talked about.
cause Aunt Polly and Miss Titkins and
Jerusha Scran they didn't do nothin' but
talk about IT, and that sot every body else
talkin.
"Finally, il was greed they must hev' u
counsel to settle the hash. So all the vim
men they went to choppng mince and
making up pumpkin pies and cranberry
tarts, and b'iin' doughnuis, getlin' ready
for the ministers and delegates-'cause
counsels always eats powerful-and they
had quito "A stir like gineral trainin'. The
hosses, they was hitched all up and down
the stalls, a-stompin' and switchin' their
tails, and all the wimmen was talkin',
and they he'd up everybody round for wit
nesses, and finally Parson Morrel he says: :
Brethren says he, Jest let me tell you the
story jest as it happened, and if you don't
every one Of you laugh as hard as l did
why, then, III give up
1.-THE parson he was n master hand at set
tin off a story, and afore he'd done, he got
em all in such roar they didn't know
where TO leave OIL. Finally, they give SEN
tence that there hadn't no temptation took
him but such is common to man; but they
advised him afterward alters to pray with
his eyes shet, and the parson he confessed
he orter "a done it, and meant to do better
in future and so they settled II.
$50, boys" said Sam, who always drew
a moral, rye see it Farms you you must
take care what ye look at, eff ye want to
keep from laughin' in meetin'. '."-Christian
Union.
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THR .uOU.rD.BUILDRRS.