The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-02-18
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.
sTW oRLEANs, SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1s, 1872
WIT AND WISDOM.


Some men, like pictuIes, are filter for
corner than full light-Sepeca.
What is the difference between the earth
and the seat One is dirty and the other is
tidy.
An exchange wants to know if the bro,
therhood of engineers is held together by
railroad ties.
Flattery is like the usurer, who makes
small loans on short time, and demands
exorbitant interest.
Shakespeare would never have said,
>"What's in an aia !" II he had peen "i' on
the head with brick.
Smart Young schoolma'ams, entirely with
ont the aid of a sewing machine, frequently
collar and cuff small boys in less than tnifty
seconds.
"Mav it please your honor" exclaimed
n iurvnSan, 81 am deaf in one ear" "lhen
Won may be excused, as it is necessary for
. juror to hear beth sides," said the Judge.
A lady boarding house keeper, who was
afflicted with boarders with very EXTENSIVE
appetites, seasoned their hash with snuff,
because shetheard the article recommended
"a q certain "cure for consumption"
An old lady, walking with her two grown
daughters on moonlight night, displayed
her knowledge. of astronomy by pointing
beayenward and exclaiming, ''Oh, my dears,
do look at them beautiful stars, Juniper and
March !"
The latest touching ditty is request to
"Cut off my. curls with yoar scissors
ity of hose worn by ladies nowadays, it
win not be necessary to use the scissors.
A gentle pull will remove them.
A distinguished writer says: There is
a passage in the Bible where the girls are
commanded to kiss the men, and that is in
the golden rule, Whatsoever ye would
that men should do unto you, do ye even
80 to Them"
Aman arriving home at a late hour,
little the worse Of too much supper, hatless
and coatless, was asked by his indignant
spouse: "Where's your hat and coat 2"
aSent en-, my dear, {hic,) to the Chicago
sufferers"
"Ah, John, have buried my brother
since I saw you'll" "Served him right
said John. What do you mean, sir 7"
vas indignantly demanded an%n on, % = navy my
served him right to leave him unburied I"
How to Make Money" Good morning,
uncle. How do you dot I'll bet you
sovereign you don't know what I've come
for" money, of course you never come
for anything but that" "You've lost your
sovereign, my dear uncle. come to ask
how is aunty I"
A party of Fort Wayne young gentlemen
dined sumptuously at a restaurant, and
each one insisted. on paying the bill. To
decide the matter it was proposed to blind
fold the waiter, aud the first one he caught
should pay the bill. He hasn't caught any
of them yet.
Natures noblemen are everywhere-in
town and out Of town, gi0ved aud rough.
handed, rich and poor. Prejudice against
a lord because he is lord, is losing a
chance of finding a good fellow, as much
as prejudice against plowman because he
is q plowman. ~. ,,
s.What lie the principal business carried
on in this place IN asked q traveller of a
citizen in Connecticut village. "The
manufacture of ready-made clothing," was
your time in the manufacture of what is
already made," said the traveller.
A female thus cruelty applies an old say
Misfortune Tor =. psy S S comes NJ single"
The marriages and the deaths.
Are always printed together
A clever writer has to say Concerning
Dress": "To come to the conclusion of
the whole matter:. To be- we'll dressed re-
quires, first, to be neatly dressed next, to
be appropriately dressed last, but not
least, to be dressed within ones means.
The costume that is unpaid FOR is not
becoming costume to nybody.
The following ia the statute in the old
Saxon code referring to Leap year: cal
belt, as often as leape yearre doth occurre,
the women holdeth Prerogative over the
MEME in matters of coartship, love, and
matrimonei; so that when the lady pro-
poseth it shall not be lawful for the name
to say her nae, but shall entertaine her pro-
posall in all guide curtsie."
Boswell once asked johnson if there
were no possible circumstances under which
suicide would be ,jnstihable. mo-" was
the reply, "Welt," says Boswell, "sup-
pose q man has been guilty of fraud that
he was certain would be found out" "Why
then," says johnson, % in that case let him
go to some country where he is not known,
and not to the. devil, where he is known"
az understand, Mr.. Jones', that you can
turn anything heater than any man in this
town." ayes, Mr. Smith, I said So" "Well,
Mr.. Jones, dou't like to brag, but there is
no man on earth can turn thing as we'll
7 - - NJ.