American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-03-23
THU AMERICAN CIriZnl
HUMOROUS.

he only has patients.
Con oreSsmen like cOrnS are often
pared off.
Women first tempted man to eat.
He took to drinking on his own ac-
count.
You should always keep your
horse fat, and never ii How any lien
on him. .~syG's' e. e ~,
Politeness is like an air cushion !;
there ,n.iy he nothing in it, but it
eases our joltS wonderfully.
A dark y sayssit All men are
made OF clay, and like meerschaum
pipes :ire more valuable when highly
cOlOred.
Josh Billings says It is.a STATS
teal fact that he wicked work hard
er tew reach hell thar the righteous
do few get tew heaven.
The mipister who divides his dis
courses into two many heads will
find it difficult to procure attentive
ears i0r all of them.
9My daughter, yOu Must never
listen to f..tterers" But, pa, how
can tell that they are tiattering IN
less Ilisten paa Z s'i g.
A lady adyertises- herself as
teacher for sperSOns of newly-ac-
uuired wealth and deficient educa-
tion.,ei- '.Tr -s 90 -
Some men prefer blue-eyed girls,
others -dark-eyed ones, but of late
years the mon-eye,l girls have had
the call over all others.
An editor out West advertises to
take corn in pay for his paper. He
says he prefers it IA liquid state, but
will take it in the ear if he can't get
it otherwise art
A robber who was seized for steal
ing snuff out Of tobaccOnist's shop.
by way OF excusing himself, said
that he was not aware of any law
that forbade aman to take snuff.
An old lady. complaining of the
badqimlitys Of . ham to the prOvis-
ion dealer, the latter assured her it
was a regular Westphalia. THAT
it is, indeed!' exclaimed the dame,
'and heworst failure 1 ever had !"
There is a book with the danger
Gus title of ePocket Lawyer We
shouldn't much like a book with this
title, Tor we are afraid if we ever get
the lawyer into our pockets, We
should never be ABLE to get him out.
1t Was brilliant boy who, seeing
dog with muzzle on tor the first
time, exclaimed: = Mamma, mann
I fey.f Il
goin. to wear hoop skirts; there
goes IL dog with one Oh his nose,
now" 4f
1t is said that. ssa corset is on OK
hibiGon at Dlbudue. which has
squeezed, three females TO death"
And NOW, if that remorseless corset
would atone for it's crimes and win !
the eternal gratitude of mankind,
lett take a good old healthy squeeze
at w oodhull, Chaff1n and Company.
A countryman in Savannah o.
served gang of darkies laboring
OH the $ reefs, each wearing a ball |
and chain. M He asked one why that
ball was chained to his leg? TO
keep people from stealing it, said
the darkey, heap OF thieves about
here -
AT a social party. where humorous
definitions was one of the games of I
the evening. the question was put:
What is religion 3 Z Rel sion,' re-
piled one OF the party, more famous
as man OF business than of wit, is
an insurance against fire in the next
woi1tl. for which honesty is the best
policy =
During a recent discussion in the
Louisiana House of Representatives.,
while a Dir. Barrett was speaking,
a Mr.. Devices told him to cork mp,
he was drunk; wher.upon Barrett
that he had rather be
drunk than a criminal with his pic
turein the rogae's gallery. As the
matter stopped there, we presume
both parties felt that they were
guilty.
A correspondent of the Medical .
and Nurgicdt Reporter, who had ex-
perienee during the siege Of Paris, a
says: Horse flesh looks and tastes
exactly like beef, and not only with i
difficulty can be distinguished from /"
i. hut, is in fact preferable to it. 1t
is better, however, the same as cat c
meat, to put it in pickle for thirty Il
six hours. D"g-meat, when proper
y prepaEed resembles mutton and :
wen deer
A Young POSITIvIST. -ParsOn- '
'What is miracle n
Boy" Dunno" ii