Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-09-12
CHAPPAQUA.
(Which is in the State Nv Moo York;

(Which is in the State NV Moo York;
| August %, 1872.
1t wuz determined by our resident COM
mittee that it wood be a joodishus thing
to do to hev the great ana good Greeley
go on toor thro the States Nv New
Hampshire and Maine, to encourage the
week, and to sekoor the vassallatin in
those States. opposed it, ez | he'd he'd
some experience with trips, hevln accom-
panied the immortal johnson on all NV
hizzen. / was overrooled, but they con-
ceded to me the arrangement Nv the toor,
tho they took control Nv the great and
good man from the start to its concloo-
sion They insisted that it wood hev two
good effects: 1st, We should dodge the
frekent delegashuns wich afflict US at
Chappaqua; and, I'd, That the exhibition
Nv Horris would hev good effeck on the
rooral populis. 1 yieldid, and set about
fittin him for the journey. l he'd very
difficult job to git the philosopher up
properly for the occashen. L took whet-
stun and rubbed the inside NV hiz right
hand for hours, till it perdoosed sich cal
lous spots onto it eZ the most horny
handed labrer in Vermont mite be proud
NV, and instructed him that when shakin
hands with the yeomanry to grip hard,
that there mite be no mistake ez to feelin
them callous spots on hiz labor-hardened
hands. l then he'd him git out in the sun
two hours each day, with his face p-turn-
ed, till he become Drowned with exposure
to the elemence; after wich / he'd a badly
fittin SCOT NV close made for him, that the
people mite feel that he he'd attempted to
dress up on their account, but that, after
all, he wuzn't accustomed to so much
grandy yer.
Then came the most difficult part Nv
the out-fittin biznis, which wuz to instruct
him in wat he shood say, but l succeeded.
/ charged him espeshelly that he shood
never menshun pollitix (ceptin that he
mite now and then howl mildly suthin
about the era Nv good feelin), and shood
| be speshely keerful to dodge all them
pints out NV wich offence mite come.
1.-THE toor," I remarkt, sis to be one Nv
sentiment We are on pilgrimage to
the tooms Nv our ancesters-we are goin
to revisit the scenes Nv our childhood, ez
it were; to revive remembrances Nv our
youthful days and sich, and it must be
confined strikly to that. hev arranged
! with our committees on the route to Or
ganiZe for spontaneous out-pourin Nv
the people to receive yoo, and yOo must
speek to EN- at each stoppin-place. l
wood recommend that your responses to
the greetins be mostly alloosions to the
grandyer Nv the mountins, and the purity
NV the air and water, and, above all,
don't forgit the mother biZnis. Eff you
Good ring in a verbal pikter Nv yoor
mother yearnin for nooze Nv her absent
son, it wood hev a good effect. YoO
needn't trot out yoor father, for fathers is
PLAYED out It's the mother that teches
the popular heart. And 700 must git
yoor eyes in condishen to drop sympa-
thizin teer or two eff occashen demands
1 hev done good things before now, by
weepin perfoosely at the rite time"
Thus prepared, the farmer-statesman
left the classic shades Nv Chappaqua.
The mint the procession he'd started
onto it's toor, packt my valise with a
bottle, and possibly shirt or two (tho |
really forgit about the latter, paying so
little attenshun ez do to the mere luxu-
ries Nv life), and started for an interior
village Nv Pennsylvany, where made a
speech last year, and consistently knowed
all the principal Demokrats. l put up at
the old familyer tavern, where the ticket
I knowed to be good. / he'd barely time
to hist in three or four slugs afore it wuz
noised abroad that 1 wuz there. In twenty
minits a person appeared to interview
me. He interdoost hisself ez Mr.. Slod-
gers-a Liberal Republikin, who he'd de-
{ termined to vote for Honest Old Horace.
| I askt him to drink, wich he did, and then
went on. He wuz disgusted with the
, corruption and rascality Nv the
Republican party, and felt that he
} must leave it. He wantld purity.
t he yearned for return to suthin
8 beside office-seekin. Hence, he he'd
decided to support Greeley. ''But,
resumed he, 81 hev made sacrifices in
this, and must hev ashoorences. wuz
an unsuccessful applicant for the post
: office in this village under Linkin, in
J 1861; then agin in 1865. / succeeded in
| gittin it Nv johnson in 1866, when the
5 then incumbent wuz dismist, and held il
: till April, 1869, when the tyrant Grant
dismissed me and reappinted my prede
cessor, and left me to languish all these
8 years without offishel position, and tc
: subsist on the petty earnins Nv my wife
9 wich is a milliner. Eff Horris is elected
Liberal vote Nv this county, sir. hOlG
f it in the holler Nv my hand"
''Say no more, SIR" sed 1. 81 fully ap
: preshiate yoor posishen. Nv course XIII
make no positive promise; but it is safe
to say, sir, that the posishen shel bt
yoors But that Liberal Republican vote
sir must be all polled. We shell hold voc
responsible for it.
: He left the presence profoose of thanks
and took four more drinks, hand run
min.
Mr.. Slodgers hedn't any more than go
!. out, when another citizen entered anC
: announced hisself ez Libral Republican
: wich his name wuz Perkins. He wanted
!, to be understood, to begin with, ez holdiI
the Libral Republican vote in his hand
7 He Good control it. Without his aiC
= nothin Good be done with it. He created
J it, and he held it to-day. But he he'd mad
: : sacrifices He he'd bin candidate TO
Treasurer Nv the county reglerly from
1856 to date; but he'd alluz bin defeated
I by fraud The last time he wuz defeatet
. . by fraud-he hedn't but two votes il
= - the county convention-his uncle ant
u = brother-in-law. He wuz disgusted witt
o the offis-seekin party, but Good he b
: = ashOored Nv the post offs in the event u
= Greeley's elecshen? He felt that eff he eve
: wuZ agoin to hev an offs this wuZ tn
q time He wanted that post offs from tn
time he wuz twenty-one years old
''Without my inf1ooence," sed he, eth
Libral Republican in this visinity will b
; nothin. /, sir, hold that vote in the hole
;, Nv my hand. Kin hev that offis?"
> [ he'd taken two drinks while talkin t
Il him and wuz oblivius Nv every thing tina
{ preceded it. / replied that Nv course W
:. coodn't make promises now, but that b
, shood rest easy. 1 felt that there WOO
- be nothin in the way Nv his appintmen
= the minnit the Farmer Nv Chappaqu
~, ), should be inoggerated. "But, sir, tn
= Liberal Republican vote must all be out
y we shell hold 700 responsible for it."
= Trust me-" sed he, with a look u
;f gladness on his hungry face wich 1 neve
=, II saw exalted and he took his leave, and
Il took two more drinks.
Skasely he'd Perkins disappeared afol
another cum, who announst hisself G
d Mr. Eli Matchitt. Matchitt remarkt tn;
le he rejoiced at the movement wich led I
!" the nominashen NV Mr.. Greeley at Gil
e cinnati. He he'd alluz acted with tn
IL Republican party, but the offis-seeki
tendency Nv the members thereof he
dlsgusted him and he he'd determined I
lie quit it. lie he'd inflooence. He controle
Of the Liberal Republican vote-in fact
m held it in the boiler Nv his hand, an