The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-07-20
WIT AND WISDOM.


A man that keeps riches and enjoys them
not, il like an ass that carries gold and
eats thistles.
MAX Twain says: II am different
fmn Warrington; l have q higher and
RrAnder standard of principle. Washing
ton could not lie. / can lie, but won't.
A You've lady went into q music shop,
and asked the clerk il he had Loving
Eyes" He replied, g / am told 80 by the
girls.
81 like to hear child cry, jocosely said
an old bachelor. why Because
then there il some hopes Of its being sent
away.
A GENTLEMAN advertised for wife and
received answers from eighteen hundred
and ninety-ssyen husbands, saying he
could have theirs. This ia given AZ All
illustration Of the value Of advertising.
LOCAL editing must be Jolly in Salem,
Washington County, n Y. The editor Of
the Press recently received the following
delightful mimive: 'Youm felleH want to
keep us fellers names out Of your paper
else yOum win get your id snoots busted.
This Ia buzzinesa
In New Hampshire, the following is
posted ON fence "Nottis-Know kow is
aloud in these medders, eny men or women
letten thare kows run the rode, wOt gits
inter my medders Aforeseed shall have his
tail cut orr by me, Obadiah Rogers.
THE best Dolly Warden story yet is told
of a young lady in Little Rock, Arkansas,
who had q very small kitten she named
Dolly Warden, but as it progressed in age
and other developments she discovered i
was not that kind of q cat, 50 she rechris-
tened it Thomas Warden.
YOUNG woman once married a man by
the name Of Dust against the wishes Of her
parents. After short time they began to
quarrel, and she attempted to return to her
fathers house, but he refused to receive
her, saying, Dust thou art and unto Dust
thou shalt return" And she got up and
g busted" 7"
A CLERGYMAN was reprOving parishlon-
ers for his bad habits of intemperance, and
told him that whisky was his greatest enc
my. Are we not told in Scripture TO love
our enemies p said the irreverent topper
eyes, John" replied the minister, "but
il il not said that we are to swallow them
AT a recent examination of one Of the
schools in Washington, the question was
put to a class of small boys: "Why Is
the Connecticut River 80 calledF when a
bright little fellow held up his hand. "Do
you know james, Eyes ma'am because
It connects Vermont and New Hampshire,
and cuts through Massachusetts, N was the
triumphant reply.
THE Boston Post is responsible for the
following on the marriage Of Thomas Hawk
tn Miss S. j. Dove
Il isn't often that YOU Sc
so queer q kind of love,
Oh what 4 savage he must be,
To Tommy Hawk = dove.
A PRINTERS devil who aspired to be a
local editor expressed his wishes in poetry
in this wise
Twas . lokle editur
Wouldn't have n time
I wouldn't print a cuEsed wOrd
For lessen . line.
Td-Ret my grub and ticker free,
& tickets 70 the shown,
wouldn't nay for buggy hire,
wouldn't ware good cloesf
A WITNESS in court, who had been eau
toned TO give q precise answer to every
question, and not talk about what he might
think the questions meant, was interrogat-
ed, a. follows You drive . wagon ~
No, sir, do not" "Why, sir, did you
not tell my learned friend 90 this moment N
No, sir, did not" Now, sir, put
it to you on your oath do you drive
wagon T. "No, sir" What is your oc-
cupetion, them III drive horse"
A HARD hit at the Virginia Legislature
Of last winter il circulating in Richmond
1t appears that q party, who had his own
reasons for making the inquiry, approach
ed Pennsylvania railroad man, and asked
him fatty whether his company intened
to spend any more money III Richmond.
"No, sir, no emphatically no" was the
excited reply. why notF' "Tl tell
you Why sir. The members Of the Penn
sylvania Legislature are gentlemen, sir
perfect gentlemen. You don't have to
bribe them but once, bue (bringing his
ists in virtuous indignation down upon
the table, these id scoundrels in Virgin
Ia have no more conscience than hog, and
you never know when you are done buying
them"