The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1872-04-23
HUsAOROUs.

ne Uest time 10 cut cOrn-N lien ii
aehcs
There was once a lady who kissed a
cow, though lots of young ladies kiss
calves.
A youugster of literary tastes de-
scribed Darwin as the man who heliev-
ed "we degenerated from the monkey"
When is a ship like scarfpin p
When it is on the bosom of heavy
swell
- What can man have in his pocket
when it is empty? A big hole.
What requires more philosophy than
taking things as they Gomez Parting
with things as they go.
d Irritable choolmaster-"Now, then
stupid, what's tie next word "What
comes after cheese2" Dull boy "a
mouse, sir"
"One thing" said an old topper, "was
never seen coming through the rye, an
that's the kind o whiskey one gets now
a-days."
% A gentleman met another in the
street, who was i'll of consumption, anC
accosted him thus: "Ah, my friend, yol
walk slow p "Yes," replied the man
'.but am going fast"
A lady once entered stage coacl
with SO much powder On her face tina
she blew up the driver.
A young fellow offered to bet th'
teacher of young ladies' gram MAJ
school, who was boasting of the prof
cheney of his pupils, that not one o
them would ''decline" husband
t's'Robert, compare the adjective cold.
said schoolmaster to an urchin. "Posi
tire cold, comparative cough, superla
tive cof1in," said the boy.
A drover who sells his cattle by liv,
weight, always gives them as much wa
ter as they will drink before driving
themson the scales.
THAT" he says, sis what I under
stand by watering stock.
81 am glad this coffee don't owe M
anything said an accountant at hi
breakfast why so 2" inquired hi
wifN ..'Cause don't think it woulI
ever settle,'' he replied.
If q spoonful Of yeast will raise fift,
cents worth of flour, how much will
take to raise funds enough to buy an
other barrel with? Answer may b
handed in over the fence.
A recent traveller stopped at a carbar
ct in France, where tie host had tw
sorts of wine, which he called first ia
blen and ,common table" II tfie,
them both," says our traveller, san,
found them lamentable.
Asoldier, who was an inTeterate jo
ker and punster, having had his nose
left check, and portion of his chi
carried away by shot, in the battle Q
Shiloh, was asked by some of his CON
rades if they could do anything for him
"Boys," said he, speaking as well a
he could in his mangled condition, q
Should like q drink of water might
well, if / only had the face to ask 70
it,. ~
HThere are those who, admitlin
the great corruption and rottennes
which now characterizes the manage
ment ofithe Republican party, yet be
lieye that reform is practicable With
reorganization. Men of experienc
and thought see the utter folly of til
idea, and recognize the truth that th
reform must come from the outside {
that which is affected. Colonel Ere
Hecker, leading German Republica
Journalist, thus puts the case succinctl
and truthfully. He says: d
"Neyer, in the history of any natter
hasftAe process of purifcation of a don
inant party taken place within that part.
either in Church or State.
"One thing is most clear to ever
thoughtful man, viz If the ship of tn
Republic continues the course upo
which it is now steering, it cannot e
cape the fate of former Republics, b'
must go to destruction, netwithstandin
it has been thus far haven of refus
for human freedom"
The great mass of the German pop
lation are fairly of that idea. They al
for looping off the diseased member.