Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-05-09

So I marched in like blind mule
into potato pateh,1and took a s. al
by the fire. 1 didn', see anything o.
the widow, but kept looking for hel
to come in and send for me. and
passed away the time rby9eussin the
crowd to myself, thinking they had
no business there, and l would not
get to talk to my woman q bit. Pres.
emily the door opened and in walked
Pully and that long legged Doctor
and a whole team of boys and girls
fixed up aavagely, I tell you. 1 look.
ed around for fiddler, they were
going to have a ball, butt wondered
what they all kept so slill<fori and
was about proposln' a reel, when UP
gifts little preacher. and before you
could swallow live oyster, he had
Polly and the Doctor married taste:
than Mexican greaser could tie
bulls horns. Iwasso completely fun
muxed that 1 set there with my. mouth
open like 1 was goin' to swallow the
whole crowd, and my eyes looked like
billiard balls till the ceremony was
over, when I jumped up and bel
lowed -
"I forbid the concern from being
constitutedl''
You are a little too late, my
friend" says the preacher, end they
all commence laughing like they had
seen something funny.
"I'A be squizzled if don't be soon
enough for somebody. yet: says !,
"fof I was mad Squire, and No mis-
take in the ticket. I do believe l
could have eat that doctor quicker
than a hungry dog could swallow a
squirrel skin, if 1 could have had a
fair chance at him. 1t was too bad
after had fixed up to marry her
myself, for her to walk right ont be-
fore my eyeslandg marry that gfeat
babboon." +"
"It was bad, that is fact, said I.
':Bad!" cried he, cit was meaner
than eating fried coon. I first thought
I'd goessralght home. but then , con-
Guided that wouldn't spite nobody,
so 1 determined to stay and see If l
C .uldnt get satisfaction out Of some
body. You know i'm the ducs to get
myself or somebody else intoascrape
when I take notion, and Id taken
one that night that went all over me
like thlrd day chill, so / commenced
i study n ont: some plan. I.recd-
iected hearing the;sdoctor say that
where he come from (but the Lord
Only knows where that was the bride
and groom always washed their faces
together before they. went to bed. as
a charm against inhdelity or imbeclli-
ty, or some other long word. While
i was studyin' about that, I apied the
doctors ssddle bags sitting in the
corner, so I waited till they went into
supper, and then I got the bags and
hooked to see what l could discover.
Nearly the first thing l saw was a
piece of lunar caustic. I slipped it
into my pocket, tori had my plan as
soon as / saw it. Well, 1 watched
around:t,li sawone OF the girls.go
to the pail. with pitcher, so | went
cut and asked her what she Was 60
ing to do with it. She snd she Was
going to carry it into The room,tor the
doctor and Polly to wash their faces
in. 1 kept talking to her while she
was filing the pitcher, and when size
turned her head ! dropped the caus lc
into it. 1t was then about bed time,
and 1 got my hat and put out, but l
couldn't help laughing all the way
home, whenever | d think about 1t
next morning.
well squire, they do say that
when that couple walked up next
morning they both had the hardest
kind Of tts, each one thinking they
mad been slee;lnS with Ec:ssSe:. On,
1t was r.chl Hea cussin' and tearlu
up things, and she a 8, fsalnln III
tAintln and comm to and goln OH
ag.in, and me not there to see it.
iney made sucu a unearthly racke
that he folks broke Into the room tv
see what was the matter, and there
they was with their faces and hf1lds
all as black as the inside Of an ola
stove pipe Id a give ha f my inter-
eat in t2ther world just to have been
a somc sale place where ] could have
seen the whole row. As soon as they
found out that they was really the
s,me folks that married the night be-
fore, they called for warm water and
soap, but just mere The doctor hap
pelsd to think about the pitcher, ana
took it to the door to see what was
the matter. There Vas q little piece
"i caustic that had not uissol ed, and
as soon as he saw it he ,ays;
Its no use washing Folly. All
she soap in New York city cant wash
that black off.
THAT was the truth, Squire, soap
and water had no more effect than ii
would on a native born Afacan, and
all the:chance was to wait and let it
wear Of, How long it took them to
get while. again, never found out,
but one thing do know," he oopclu-
ded, getting up to 60 OUT: the next
time aaw lhs Doctor l had the hard
est fight. and come the highest get
ting whaled that l ever did in all my
born days!" %