Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-09-26
BREYillES.
A SEA-SAw-The sword-fish.

CONNECTED WITH THE RrNG-The bell
handle
SIXTY tons of steel pens are made every
year.
WITH what musical instrument would
you catch a fish Cast.anet.
ZONE of those things no fellow can
find out" A good husband after II p. M
WHAT belongs to yourself, and is used
by everybody than yourself? Your
name.
A SECRET has been defined as "any-
thing made known to everybody in a
whisper.
WHAT'S the difference between truth
and eggs Truth crushed to earth will
rise again" Eggs won't
A TELEGRAM was received in Pittsfield,
! Mass, the other day, addressed TO a man
who has been dead over six years.
A BROAD HINT" Sally, what time
does your folks dine ?" "Soon as you
20 away-that's missus's orders"
A PoUGHKEEPsIE man died the same
day that the news came of his having in
herited $40, 600 from relative in the old
country.
AN Arkansas man had the invitations
to his tin wedding printed on square
sheets of the metal, which were duly en-
! closed in envelopes.
| IoHN is struck with the fOolishness of
employing coroner's jury to find out
why women take poison; he says they do
| it TO kill themselves.
! A CoNNECTICUT lady has a loaf of cake
/ in an excellent state Of preservation which
was made at the time of Harison's cleo
! ton in 1910.
In is estimated that, including spring
| LAMBS, there are now about 1000 600
sheep in California, which is an increase
+ Of G, OPS, 600 since 1869.
/ A New JERSEY physician prescribes
nauseous medicines, but directs his pa
tients to bury them under the doorstep.
He has a large practice.
A LovE,LoRN youth in Ohio, with
! mathematical turn of mind, has discover.
ed that five years of patient attention to
his sweetheart has cost him 1882 miles
Of pedestrianism.
| THE toast of THE ladies" might have
| been given at recent literary banquet
! thus: "Woman--the fairest work in all
creation The edition is large, and no
man should be without a copy"
A CHICAGO man dreamed that his child
would be scalded to death. He took
every precaution against such a Catastro-
phe, but precisely five weeks and two
] days after the dream, the little boy was
run over by dog cart, and escaped I'M
injured
THERE are seventy-fve hospitals con,
nected with the United States Marine Hos
pital service. The Secretary OF the
/ Treasury has directed detailed report Of
all operations performed aud diseases
treated TO be sent to him, in order to have
report made out, giving statistics never
yet collected.
LITTLE BOY-"I don't like you, Mr..
/ Brown; my mamma says You are a regu-
lar sneak" Mamma" Good gracious,
James, what could induce you TO tell
such a story? | confess to saying what
a pity snch nobIe-hearted man as Mr.,
/ Brown has turned out a regular cyuic,"
OUR experience in journalism, says an
exchange, teaches us that there is nothing
in this world that will so disgust and
sicken the general reader as to learn, after
wading through the particulars of an awful
( accident, that there is probability of the
victims recovery.
A WOMAN at Danville, n. H, having
been notified hy the Highway Surveyor
apnpar and work ont her taxof four cents,
made her appearance at the appointcd
time. armed with hoe, and toiled vigor-
ously till her tax was cancelled, which
was etlected IN h1teen minutes from the
time OF beginning.
THERE are now living of the family of
the late Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Hicks, of the
town of Milan, Duchess County, n Y,
nine daughters and two sons, whose ages
are respectively as follows, 70, II, 90, IS,
SO, 81, 50, 81, So, 53-making the united
/ ages of the living members of one family
| Of brothers and sisters, 693 years
/ A PRINTER, having been Tilted by his
| sweetheart. tied to commit suicide.
I The devil" found him out and took him
/ 20 The sanctum where the editor was
writing duns to delinquent subscribers
The picture of despair presented by the
/ editor reconciled the printer to his fate,
( He began to consider himself as compar.
/ ativey happy.
/ y,,p,,o,,,, ,ror,o,, who was ,oto,,, oc.
c,sod e nio,ir W.T. ,rritoe thnslv ~ one ",
~ ,,o,,ors, .1T''o ,oo,,lo ~ Wo1Is Pivor
/ are in pretty small business if it has
rot so one can't 90 and see their mother
without they have eloped with some fell
/ low. y r The greatest trouble
with them is they are all mad because
they can't yet seme one to elope with"
rr, o.,ar sohho+, oso ou,s+,,, ,Io
oo,,a,,a, I'J "a oc1;n III,
/ ~