The sun., 1872-05-30
JOHN VISITS PITTSBURGH
CITIZENS VINO T1LLY MINK BTIrs
ON THEIR SHIRT FRONTS

PITTsDURoH, spring, lS12.-Thc weatbar
IL ausplcious. | have Just swallowed ,br0o
specklcd trout bought with some sinners an,
feel like Observation-Disclosures derrick asd.
| ing down bean poles. Grass Is coming nm an,
| cocktails are going down. The weather remind,
| me Of what read in the NctC York Her,J Al.
other day. fellow was writing about visit r.,
| Central Park, and he wrote;
| Across the Mall lay dapplod shadows. ana
| who's the branches of the trees did not inter
vene, slant jayelin shafts Of sunlight pietced
| their way and fell upon fairy forms too beautI-
| ful for description"
That fellow must have been eating soup made
| fisk parts dictionaries and eight parts stricken.
deer novels. lie can find lots " daprled
shad(ohs) down at Fulton Market nowadays.
| HISTORY OF PTrsnrRGH
| Pittsburgh Is hemmcd In by hills These hllA
are full Of btumlnous coal. Bituminous coal 10
sold by the bushel, instead of by the ton. Pitts
burgh was hemmed in before sewing machines
| were invented. IL il on triangular plain A
! point formed by the confluence Of the Monon-
gahela and Allegheny rivers, and these two
rivers form the Ohio. Fort Duquesne, ceIe-
brated in the old French and colonial wars stood
| here. 1t is decayed to pieces now. The Or
leans, the first steamboat that ever piled, sailed
| Rlded cleavcd, or cloved the Western waters,
was built here In 1911. Pittsburgh was village
| at the close Of the Revolution, and some of the
| people look ~ II they had worn their clothes
| ever since the Revolution. On the 18th Of Jan
uary, 17S5, the first catfish was discovered in the
Ohio and the inhabitants TO this day think them
species Of whale. The only ship that have
seen here that resembles New York shipping
was lugger It was woman Juggling pile Of
| kindling wood home.
In I796 Pittsburgh had 1895 inhabitants One
OF em died. Then II had only 1894 inhabitants.
He died Sunday. They arrested a man once for
| dying Sunday. by natural increase and several
families moving in here, Pittsburgh has now
more people than II had In 1870. II has a dlngy
| appearance, and Its citizens are likewise After
| 10 "A. NJ the people are awful dingy. A stranger
would think from the looks Of those people that
| he was In African village. One can't wear A
white shirt half the morning before IT Is halt
mourning, and before noon IL will be 50
| smoked that piece OF IL answers I'm the place
Of smoked glass to look at eclipses with. The
smoke settles SO thick on the shirt bosoils that
the citizens keep an accurate account Of their
milk bills on en-, using a wooden toothplck for
apon. Hence the term Pennsylvania.
| CuRIosTIEs OF PITTSBURGH.
Monongahela whiskey Is grown here. Large
numbers Of the inhabitants said to be
abstemious-that Is, when folks looking
at 'em.
| Pittsburgh has schools. l hear that boy was
actually held spebound In one Of em the other
day. lie couldn't spell spool. The master
kicked him down stairs, and then told the boys
father that he was initiating his son into tho
mysteries Of the solar system. lie did 1t with the
sole Of his boot. There is some complaint about
this school. Last week pious lad ran a brad
awl into another lad about yard, and when
called to account about II laughed, and called III
awl-spice. That boy will never he a school
marin. New York city has 2,0i2 lager beer shops
| and 3,l30 groceries, by which you will see there
are too many groceries. Pittsburgh Is full of
'em both kinds To-day l met the man who
built the gates on Gates avenue, Brooklyn. We
held sweet converse on
WHAT I Know ABOUT BOATING.
Says he, Hail from Yorl, -
| "No," said I, 81 came by rail"
| "Well," said he, - see by the papers that the
Atalanta boat crew have gone to Europe"
"They have, sir" says |.
"Did they take n she'll with EN- " SAYS he.
"What In thunder would they want Of a shclT'
says /.
ITO row in" says he.
"You old puddng-head." say, 7, "they don't
row in shell, they row IN a boat"
"Sir," says he, :" a shell il a boat"
"Stranger,' replied, " have travelled exten-
sively, but must say that YOU are the lir,t In
diyidnal haycever met so cussed green that he
couldn't tell a boat from clam"
lie looked amazed and So did !; Then lac slid',
"Nhat kind OF sCull- did they take -
Darn it, says l, "they took their own
no they III. .'cm light in the water;" says he.
, Ilerc I'd I'D a,,ng from the follow AND 1.
! asked him what reason ha had To suppose that
'hesEf's?ed. .tlsir sE.IA y lie .Maiert- ..
Hang il" say- |, they don't row with their
skulls, they row with oars
"Sir'" says he, you know pile about boating.
Then asked him did he really think he could
make me believe any such nonsense "a, that, and
| al a. AZ
until had the pleasure Of meeting him had
never before seen a skull made OF the same ma
That fellow Insisted that he was right, and
continued to elucidate nautical matters until he
got things mixed enough to XIII three ordinary
seamen and "A stuker. He accused the Atalanta
best man Of pulling steadily al port when ne
doesn't drink anything trJngcr than coffee, ana
he said that crew would I've more likely to crow
with n Cock-swain than without one, glt dl'-
gusted and told him lie wls a bigger fool than
man once heard of who was sailing ten hho's
, an hour, when he lost his wttth otcrHoaGd, all
the darned fool cut a notth IN the st4e oi the
and get it.. This finished our nautical con'er-
, satlun.
Fathers are called heads OF families In Pitts
T6erc was once so much smallpox here, Is
why this place is called Pittsburgh.
B W. Cakes has left town for the winter. old
Gridde ha, gone with him.
Pittsburgh Is a well-orginized city. There IL
one on every corner The third sIan1a OF 'f'P
Goes the Weasel" Is the fayorte air
instinct IL encrOachlng upon the sacred ul-
main of reason I'm Pittsburgh. A man here me
other day cut the right Wing of a chicken, and
the left wing oil that chickens stcp-,l-ttr NJ
roasted on a step TO keep them from living
, awny. They cuddlod up together sidc"a'''
making one hen IL thems'vC- and hrw nwn,
and have Just eaten the He rond joint pi uu ~
EN-, which is the cause Of my being 50 hiehG'
INGENUlTY OF BOSTON DRUMMER.
Z | Merchants In Pittsburgh keep cannon in front
of their doors To keep the liostuu drummeis
away But Yankee ingenuity viii overcome
, almost every dimculty. one dark night one ul
T | those drummers Crawlcd down and loaded ono
Of those cannon with his goods, The next morn
| Ing he stood opposite and yelled IA, }a. ~
the man who owned the store, until thc WlI -.S
mad and fred the cannon Oh, sending the iIi'N-
: ! mcrs samples into a store opposite. lhN ,"'s
| his htie game. re entered and dcrl r1trta 80
samples, and actually sold the man blu ui t'Ols
from those samples before ne lclt the store
A WESTERN PUAIRlG.
% append the only real picture NJ WrsI'H,
prairir ever taken; 1t WIS taken uu the -1"t' ~
is "A night scene, a. seen by night,
u