Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-08-03
Facts and Fancles.

truth.
.. w. Holmes says that humility is
the first of the virtues-tor other peo--
pie.
The man who never alters his opin-
ion is like standing water, and breeds
reptiles in the mind.
A Georgia editor refuses to support
Greeley on the ground that it is as
much as he can do to support himself.
The man who was so economical as
to bury his family in a perpendicular
position to save land was not free
Soiler
The summer style for the Sandwich
Islander is announced. 1t is red
string about the left leg just above the
knee.
A member of the Irish Parliament
met the reproaeh of selling his country
by thanking God that he had country
to sell.
In Petersburg Va, the temperature
is indicated by its effect upon paper col
lars. 1t is now reported at "three col
lar heat "
"Sensation shoes" are announced by
New York dealers All that is neces-
sary is to put number seven shoe on
number nine foot
IF you want to have a man your friend,
don't get the ill will of his wife. Pub
lie opinion is made up of the average
prejudlces of womankind.
A young lady complains that a certain
young lawyer Of her acquaintance does
not stick to his profession. Does she
mean his profession of law, or some pro-
fession made to herr
"If people knew beforehand all the
misery it brings" says japanese poet,
"there would be less going out with the
young ladies' to look at the flowers at
night.
A drunken man, after trying in vain
to keep on the sidewalk, was heard to
exclaim, as he headed for the middle Of
the street: "There, now, go in the mid
die OF the street.
Bridget in reply to a remark of her
mistress, that she had put too much
game in the omlet, replied that she did
| it so that it would not taste 50 strongly
of the eggs, which were bad.
\ Troy reporter, recording an item
about drunken woman who weighed
200 pounds, remarks: "One would
think that she was enough of herself
without wishing to be anything beside
herself
The most gallant man ever heard of
is one who refrained from kicking u
dog that had bitten him because it was
female dog eff it wasn't for your
sex," said he, "I'd kick your d---n
head off
A Boston paper says that the are
ception of the Press" about which so
much has been said, can be witnessed
any fine evening by visitors. who will
observe the couples upon the seats of
the Common.
Mark Twain says information seems
to stew out of him naturally, like the
precious ottar of roses out of the
ottar The more he caulks up the
sources and the tighter he gets, the
more he leaks wisdom.
"My dear, did you say or did you not
say, what | said you said ? Because
Mrs. Grundy said you said you never
did say what | said you said Now, if
you did not say what | said you said,
then what did you say
OF the many Poles immigrating to
this country, it is remarked that very
Iare Q percentage are journeymap tailors
A contemporary thinks this is doubt
less owing to the mutual attraction be-
tween the needle and the Pole.
y Town Hill man feels so mortified
over the reflection that his children are
not able to attend Sunday-school for
want Of suitable clothes, that he spends
every Sabbath iu the woods, accompan,
led by his faithful dog, which wears
fve-dollar collar.
hu AlloH SCutic"du udNiuS puT-
chased an alarm clock, an acquaintance
asked him what he intended to do with
it. "Oh," said he, "its the most con-
venient thing in the world for | have
nothing to do but pull the strings aud
wake myself"
The father of boy whose veracity
is not marked on his back, asked the
teacher why it was that his son didn't
have better acquaintance with fig
ures, and was considerably electrified
when the teacher tenderly observed. |
really don't know, unless it is because
figures won't lic."
A shrcwd farmer in the Vermont
Legislature declined answering the
speech of member, who was remarkable
for nothing but frothy and pugnatious
impudence and self>conceit, thus: "Mr.
speaker, | can't reply to that ere
Speech for it always wrenehes me ter
ribly to kick at nothing"