Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-10-25

was sittin' jest where we could look ou
! and see the hull picter, and Lem was Fl
to split.
Good, now, says he, that critter'll pay
} the deacon off lively, pretty soon.
The deacon bobbed his head a spell
and old Dick he shook his horns and
stamped at him sort O. threatenin'. Fl
nally the deacon he gave great bow
and brought his head right down at him
and old Dick he sot out full tilt and came
down on him ker chunck, and knocked
him head over heels into the broad aisle
and his wig flew one way and he t'other
and Dick made lunge at it as it flew,
and carried it off on his horns.
Wal, you may believe that broke up
the meetin' for one while, for Parson
Morrel laughed out, and all the gals and
boys they stomped and roared, and the
old deacon he got up and begun rubbing
his shins-'cause he didn't see the Joke
ont.
You don't ought ter laugh. says he it's
no laughing manner-it's solemn thing
says he. l might have been sent into
'tarnity by that darned crittur, says he.
They all roared and haw-hawed the more
to see the deacon dancin' round with his
little shiny head so smooth fly would
trip up ont. l believe my soul, you'd
laugh to see me in my grave, says he.
Wal, the truth ont was, just one of
them Dustin up times that natur has,
when there amt nothin' for it but to give
in, twas jest like the ice breaking up in
the Charles river-lt all comes at once
and no whoa tot Sunday or no Sunday
sin or no sin, the most on 'em laughed till
they cried, and couldn't help it,
But the deacon he went home feelin'
pretty sore about it. Lem Sudoc he pick
ed up his wig and handed it to him.
Says he, old Dick was playing tithing-
man want he deacon? Teach you to
make allowance for other folks that get
sleepy.
Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to
Aunt Jerusy Scran's and Aunt Polly
Hokum's and they had pot of tea over
it, and greed it was awful of Parson
Morrel to set such an example, and suth
in had got to be done about it. Miss
Hokum said she alters Knew that Parson
MorreI hadn't no spiritooality, and now
it had broken out into open sin, and led
all the rest of 'em into it, and Mrs. Tit
kins she said such man want fit to
preach, and Mrs. Hokum said she could
MT never hear him preach agin, and the
next Sunday the deacon and his wife
they hitched up and driv eight miles over
to Parson Lathrop's and took Aunt Pol
ly on the back seat.
Wal, the thing growed, till it seemed
as if there wasn't nothin' else talked
about, cause Aunt Polly and Miss Tit
kins and Jerusha Scran they didn't do
nothin' but talk about it, and that sot
everybody else talkin'.
Finally it was greed they must bev'
council to settle the hash. So all the
wimmen they went to chopin mince
and making up pumpkin pies and cram
berry tarts, and b'ilin' doughnuts, gettin
ready for the ministers and delegates
cause councils always eats powerful, and
they had quite stir Ikea gineral trainin'
The hosses, they was hitched all up and
down the stalls, stompin' and witchin'
their tails, and all the wimmen was
talkin' and they he'd up everybody round
for witnesses, and finally Parson Morrel
he says: Brethren, says he, jest let me
tell you the story jest as it happened,
and if you don't every one of you laugh
as hard as l did, why then I'll give up.
The parson he was master hand at
settin' off a story, and afore he'd done,
he got them all in such roar they didn't
know where to leave off. Finally, they
give sentence that there hadn't no tempt
alton took him but such as is common to
man; but they advised him afterward
alters to pray with his eyes shet, and the
parson he confessed he orter a done it.
So boys, said Sam, who always drew
moral, ye see it larns you must take care
what ye look at, ef ye want to keep from
laughin' in meetin' - Christian Union.
A liquor dealer in Niagara Falls
thought to make hit in the advertising
line by hiring peripatetic Irishman to
carry about the streets a transparency
setting forth the goodness and abundance
of his liquors. A temperance party,
however, chartered boy to follow with |
a transparency reading Cursed be he |
that putteth the cup to his brothers
lips" 1t was the general conclusion that
the boy behind was ahead of the boy in
front