Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-08-17


CATION broke into a roar of laughter.
Swiveltree rose fiOm his seat and
stretching ont his long arm shouted
hack " Parson, be sarafim an 60
OH with 'er birthstone"
"Shut up YOU hog"
"ParsOn, yOn'd better be a saryfim,
l tell you you'd better I've a saryfm.'
Ecclesiastical patience gave out at
this point. The church grew militant,
and this inestima5le minister of the
gospel nurled the brown stone pitch
er with such accuracy that it flew into
many pieces on the head Of this sim
fi,l man. Strange to say, it did not
kill him-it failed even to knock him
down. He staggered for mement
and then made rush toward the
pulpit. From this descended the good
lighter of the Lord. When about ell
cOuntering each other, Swiveltree
stopped for run into the ecclesiasti-
cal corporation. when All elder of the
church-and quite and elderly elder
he was-quick as thought tripped
Swiveltree and he fell at the parsons
feet. The eloquent man lost no time
in taking advantage of this. In an
instant he Was upon the wicked crea-
ture and raining blows upon his intel
lectual countenance.
There was some confusion in the
house, for every member of the little
congregation and every lOoker-On
wished tV get the best view. The
elders, class leaders, and stewards,
however, formed ring and gave
their beloved pastor encouragement
by cries such as " Gouge out his wick
ed eye, brother POundeyil :" /" Keen
him under, brothers" Give aim The
gospel" etc. After a Jew desperate
struggles the rutfian cried Enough
The reverend gentleman immediately
desisted. and helping his adversary to
a seat on the anxious bench, went OIL
with his discourse as if nothing un-
usual had happened.
could fill vdllime with historical
illustrations of this barbarous lfe, but
has en- OH to my little adventure.
had terror of the people who
fought like animals. believe am
not deficient in that common thing
called courage, but | shrank from
coming in contact with these rOughs
as one would from ferociOus beasts. l
found l could do this very well by
treating crowd whenever occasion
offered aud abstaining from any tender
approaches toward the fair sex. BY
pursuing this course during my stay
of four months | became, although the
wearer Of store clothes and there
fore and object of envy, very popular.
But came to grief at last.
The girls of the ridge were not at
trctive. Their i'll fitting clothes did
not grace their beautiful figures, nor
did their internal bOnnets frame in
lovely faces. Indeed it was quite the
contrary. We may say what we
please of the rare natural beauty of
country life, but when itruns on rough
breeding it is apt to be coarse and un-
attractive. The cultivation of the
mind il reflected not only in the coun-
tenances of the cultivated, but-and
more especially sO-in their children.
This is what we mean by the nobility
of nature. 1 will reserve these Origi
nal and elevated thoughts for book
if l am ever 40 fortunate az to find an
infatuated publisher who will prefer
risking his money on my thoughts
rather than republish that which has
been success abroad.
found an exception in the way of
beauty in the person of little Polly
Pitcher, who. from contrast, suppose,
appeared to me- cross between a
German angel and Venus. She WAS
plump AZ a partridge aud as little as
a fairy. Her little nose, slightly eie.
waited ut the end, with a dimple there
on, gave saucy, piquant loOk 10 her
hite and-red face. Peaches an Il
cream! what complexion the little
Pitcher had! She VAS Jolly as gMi
nea pig and graceful as a fawn. ]
met her at a wedding. 1t was rip
roaring frolic. Webegan dancing and
fighting early in thu afternoon, and
danced and fought through the night
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