The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-06-27
BEING SOCIABLE.

Some people display wonderful tact
for unsociability. 1t is not so much by
their silence, their n.odesty, or their re-
serve, as by peculiar disposition they
manifest-an indefinable atmosphere in
which they envelop themselves so as to
repel the advances and resist the invita-.
tions of others. Indeed, silence is not in
consistent with social feelings, and those
who say little and listen much and well
are always popular in society. 1t was
Miss EdgeWorth who, after talking with
charming and incessant volubility to a
deaf mute for an hour, remarked that he
was one of the most intelligent and in
teresting persons she ever mer. Often
times those who talk most have the least
sociability. Their gable hides their
utter want of social feeling and personal
sympathy. Their prattle is purely selfish,
mechanical, and cold. Volubility and
vacancy seem to be naturally related to
each other, and oftentimes the tongue is
the substitute for thought instead of it's
organ. SociabiIity and loquacity may CO.
exist IN the same person but generally
the oHe>who talks the most thinks and
feels the least.
True, sociabiIity is matter Of senti
ment, of mind, of character, rather than
Of words, 1t comes from surplus of
sympathy, of kind feelings, of personal
regards, of contagious interest in things
and thoughts 1t is the overflow of the
generous and kindly quail of the heart,
those which makes us social beings, those
which bind us most closely snG tenderly
to others and the family to which we be.
long. All real interest in others. all
quick and generous sympathy, all desire
20 communicate with others and snare In
their experiences and participate in their
life, enter as constituents into true socia
bility, 1t is the humanity in us in COM
munication with the humanity without us
which makes the charm and sweetness
and value Of social intercourse The hard
and selfish nature is unsocial. The proud,
vain, self-seeking temper destroy socia
bllity. People who care only for them
selves may run against others every mo,
ment, but their contact is as purely me
chauical as the attrition of logs in q river,
or pebbles on the beach. The talk which
comes from no kind impulse and no kind
ing regard, but is manufactured by will
merely because it is expected, is as destl
tute OF social quality as the bellows which
rake breeze when pressed and the
talk made to display the speakers wit or
cleverness or learning is ex hlblton but
not conversation.
A great deal of the calling and twitter
ing and my dear ing have no more real
connection with sociabilIty than the flow
ers on woman's hat have with her head
They are purely artificial, and tao ked on
by the milliner. There is vast deal o.
social millinery, however, which passes
tor Natures handlwork; and people are
often praised tor their fine social qualities
merely because they are adopts in the art
of saying pretty n0thlngs by the hour
and exhibiting themselves in other PEG
pies drawing, rooms In an entertaining
way. And, on the other hand, those who
are emlnently social in nature and spirit
are often condemned as unsociable be-
cause they say little, and do rot care to
exhibit themselves and turn their hearts
inside out for other people to admire
Perhaps they are deficient in tie graces
Of cultivated society; they may not have
the gift of rapid utterance or sparkling
repartee they may find it hard to intrude
their thoughts and feelings upon others
while more valuable natures make the
air vocal with their incessant buzz. But
behind their reticnce, and ben cath the
disguise of modest and unatractive ways,
are all the elements Of the truest sociabil
lty, which it requires but the least pene-
tration to discover and the fit occasion to
bring out
Being sociable requires something more
than ceaseless chattering and gadding
about. 1t requires the culture and ex-|
preston in all proper and helpful ways
OF those thoughts and sentiments which
are unseltish, generous, sympathetic, and
human. 1t means perVading interest
in others and the general good. It means
the lively commerce of mind with mind,
and communication of heart with heart,
by listening as well as by speaking, 10y
large receptivity as well as generous CIV
ing And this sociability is jrst what is
wanted to redeem. our social intercourse
and make our coming together helpful,
stlmulative, and enrolling.
It is a general complaint among for
eigners that there not holidays enough in
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