Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-07-29
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Never use profane language.

4NOfOA uoC plV1oiiO UhSooSO'
There are about five thousand million
dollars in gold in the whole world.
There is great deal of excitement in
Cincinnati. Smith is dead.
There is a tremendous excitement at
Mt. Sterling, Illinois, over the marriage
Of a pair of babes.
The great attraction in Turin just
now is Prussian drummer who plays
on sixteen drums at once.
Trenton, Tennessee, is proud in pos
sessing an elephantiasiastic baby weigh
ing two hundred pounds.
There was desperate fight in Winona.
Kansas, between a mad stallion and "a
scared man. Hoss won the belt.
In New Hampshire they call elope-
ment suicide. That is not so bad. He
sued and she sighed.
Henry Brend, of Cahokia, Illinois,
thought he felt something heavy on his
stomach. He was right. No mule can
kick him now
Fans made of scales of fish have been
introduced and will soon, no doubt, be
all the rage. They are very odd looking,
and are handsomely mounted in gold.
Fernando Woods mother-in-law sat in
the window of her hotel, at Washington,
and fell into snooze. And her spirit
on its cruise.
There is furry at West Point, as
African Congressman Elliott has selected
niger lad for the position of cadet
from his district.
Mrs. Christy, OF. Humboldt, Tennessee
sandwiched herself between a pair Of
trucks of the NJ, c. & O. railroad, anG
made hash of herself. No cards.
An exchange says that milk is selling
at one cent gallon at Faribault, Min
nesota. and that the price paid will no
pay for the wear and tear of a cows tai
in switching flies.
By the fall of derrick and a larg
stone at the new state department, a
Washington, ten poor men had the juic
of. life squozen out'n 'em, and five other
are sick unto death.
A lady IN Illinois beams upon soeiet,
under the name of Luna Aurora Bore
alis Smith. Her intimate friends cal
her ''Lu,' and her 0enemies call he
Bore
A Chicago court has decided that
is no crime for a son to kill his father
Considering the kind of fathers tha
Chicago boasts of, the decision does no
surprise us.
A Kansas paper in reporting a tria
concludes thus. The jury returned
verdict of not guilty, but if the prisone
is sharp he will leave town without los
of time
One reason why the Philadelphia In
quirer is opposed to Greeley is becaus
he has but two brothers in law. Tha
paper thinks that the idea of runnin
this great government with but two bro
theirs -in-law is absurd.
The following is the German renditio
of the Last Rose 20
''Tish der las rose of soomair
Left blooming alone by himself;
All his early companions
Have vanished and all gone away:
No fuer of his kintred
No rose butt vas nigh,
To reflect back her pushes
Or gift one sigh for another sigh-py TAM"
A city fop was taking an airing in til
country, tried to amuse himself by aui,
zing an old farmer about his bald hca,
but was extinquished by the old maj
who solemnly remarked, Young mai
when my head gets as soft as yours,
can raise hair to SELL" Args-f
A Detroit woman took down the D;
rental rod the other day to punish ht
son for telling a falsehood. He reat
the newspapers, however, and know
that corporal punishment will break h
Z spirit, so he checked her by stabbir
her in the shoulder with butcher kni
and than ran away.
A Lafayette lady, while in Philade
? phia few days ago, was attracted by
{ handsome necklace in window, al
!, determined to buy it. She stepped
: and asked the price. Sixteen thousar
= dollars, ma am, - replied the salesma
Being $1,000 short of the sum, s.
changed her mind .rsa
A young student who fed to Uti
: from Hamilton College ON account of t
prevalence of the smallpox, soon becal
dead broke, and was heard to mutter,
he walked down street: "Yes, that's
E I'll 60 back to college, telegraph hoI
5 that I've got the smallpox, and wa
S75 to pay the doctors bill. That's /
game. Strategy. ''sa''' : =
The Mercer county Ohio murders
i, have been lynched. Abraham Kimn
p and Alexander McLeoud were strung
% to tree near helocality of the murd
McLeoud confessing the crime before
death. The younger Kimmel, throu
the intercession of the brother of |
murdered girl, was spared and tax
back to Jail. These wretches caught
Sunday-school girl in the woods, violat
her one after another, then knocked
her skull, and gave her body to the ho
which almost totally ate her up.