The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-12-07
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


and finally threw the pieces out OF the window.
remsrkiug as he DID SO. - That the iust OF
them prize packages eyer bought, and It's the
last one, you bet
The editor of the Sheridan Nocs Letter lie
proud of himself Hear him;
Yes.,,l,v sc ho,rf = vopn, n wishing he
was an editor To he an editor is nice. We
don't get much to ea. we don't get much money
but we nearly burst with glory.
The Buffalo Courier, remembering Its folly in
the recent canvass. prefaces 'he following bit OF
poetry with the words " Here is clmfort?'
Cheer up my friends, nor MOI ever, even ehae'
For Heaven, who keeps the sp arrows safe,
VIII not forget the geese
The following obituary notice of the Hacest;ga.
TOR speaks volumes:
The inUeStigat0r has investig sted its last in
vestigate It's investigating days are over. The
numerous predictions OF It's friends and enemies
have turned out 20 be true. Let old fogles re-
joce at the work they have done, for to-day the
Litchield lRceStEgtt0r ceases to exist
The Maroa Nears has an assistant editor. His
fighting weight Is nine pounds with his shirt on.
Any business man OF Detroit who doubts that
advertising p,y~ l. retered 70 the case of "A rnau
vs.
day for a ltdy companion tor his wife, and with
in three days his mother-in-lsw and her tour
daughters arrived aud have made preparations
to remain all winter. Bat for that advertise
meut his house might have been IL lonesome as
a graveyard all winter,--Detr0tt free Press.
The young man who scissors for n Pic4yuui,h
New Orleans paper. parts his hair IN the middle
and claws the piano. Owing to the immensity
OF his plw,, piano has been constructed tor his
especial USE with shingles for kevs.-.T. L0uis
GlOje.
Here is what would result from allowing
women suffrage:
a strong-minded woman in Detroit made the
following gentle reply to Il politici n who had
called At her house to get her husband to 20 to
the polls aud vote: No. sir, he can't go. He's
washing now, and he's got to iron tomorrow,
and If he wasn't doing any thing he couldn't 60.
| run this ere house, do and if any one votes
it'll be this ,me Mary jane
A private letter tells of buffalo running thick
in the streets of Dodge City, kansas-Eschan9e.
There are four or five thousand men hunting
the poor buftlo on the plains and the unfortu-
nate beasts are obliged to 20 somewhere for pro.
lection. Why they not protected by game
laws, like prairie chickens and quails Under
the present circuHs tan ,es, the buffalo will soon
become extinct animal. and then where will
our descend ants get buffalo robes?
The Grundy WeraN mentions the facts that
evenings are now long and kerosene cost money,
as hint to young men who ago sparkling"
Does the HsrlH man want young couples to go
it alone in III, dark
A corre,p Jud-ut OF the Lebanon (Ky.) Stand
ard tells tnls; One Of our merchants dreams
"thus.' H. say: :" | dreamed that was in
heaven, aud that every fellow who gets there
must pay fifty cents admission fee. While
watch : each conner l heard familiar
tread without, aud finally recognized it as being
that OF Aunt pJliy loads. So | drew near to
see if Aust Polly would have the money to get
IN, when Heard tne following
Mr.. Peter, what's the Price to get in p
FIFTY cents, ma'am"
''Wou't We take forty cents 7"
"No.'
"Forty.Hvv eeu's'"
"Then won't We take it in socks:'
"N1'
Then | won't come in to save yer neck - and
Aunt Polly went off to hunt cheaper heaven.
An exploring expedition has been tilted out to
Moab --Etct0nge.
There was chap, mentioned in the bible, OF
the name of B.alam. We should like to know
what has become OF him? He had an ass, too
butwe know where that beast is He is run.
ming Grant newspaper not far from Ottawa
but Baalam is the fellow we are anxious about
Why don't some one get up an expedition Il
search for his crave T"
The Nati0Hal GUdrd very tersely SAYS:
1t Is the popular opinion just now that Bout
well and Fish are to retire from the cabinet, I
would be 'BoutCasl well if it was little les
Fisny, aud -'ill weller if the balance Of i
should retire ANY change is indicative of civil
service.
Tennessee paper has subscriber who ha
paid up his subscription regularly for forty.fv
years.
We have several who have been taking on
paper regularly for years who haven't paid
cent Co"Sttt,tioa ant Union.
Can't those old subscribers be induced +
resign.
The Louisville toNrier.fouy2tai POLITICALLY r,
marks; In Montgomery. Alabama, the othe
day, four negroes got on - spree Que took GU
his little iack-knife, aud now there amt b,
three"
Bachelors may once more raise up their h.at
and rejoice. Their signs will no more be- hear
IN the land, because mn ingeriou, mechanic u,
invented buttons which IN be -ewed on with
screw driver
New York bellies threaten to discard corset