Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-06-27
Brevities and Leyilies.

G- The LATEST man is a fisherman
that ties his line to his dogs hind leg,
and when fish bites he kicks the dog.
1S- A returned Australian found the
baby he left at home, miss Of five sum
mers. One day he offended her, and she
fretfully exclaimed, 81 wish you had
never married into our family"
No cows no cream" was the way
an Indiana composition set up tho words,
"No cross no CROWN
10 A New York paper thinks "sky
blue isapretty color for ceiling, but not
so tasty for country milk at eight cents a
quart"
If six men eat ten apples, how
many pumpkins can four cows eat ?
Multiply the ten apples by the four COWS,
and divide the result between the six
men and the pumpkins. The true answer
will be the amount.
!a@- Il Lafayette lady played it fine at
circus recently exhibited in that city.
She pretended to faint and got nine
glasses of lemonade free.
re A lady in passing another on the
street, should nevor look around to see
what the other wears, because the other
is engaged in .he same business.
~ A Pekin, Illinois, woman was
asked by the preacher if her husband
feared the Lord. She replied: "Fear
him? why bless you, ho is so feared of
him that he never goes ont Of the house
Sundays without taking his gun along"
1a- A Sunday school superintendent,
reviewing the lesson, and talking of the
verse, reading "Let your loins be girded
and your lights burning" asked the
question. "'Why are we commanded to
gild our loins?" One little sharp shaver
sung out, $40 keep our breeches up"
as~ Here Is late boys composition:
1.-THE Horse Is the Most Useful Animal
in the world. So is the cow. I once had
l3 Ducks and was brakes and Skunk
killed ]. + knew IL boy which had Z
chickens, but His father would not let
him rEse Them so he Got Mad and sohe
bored hole in his mothers Wash Tub.
+ wish I had hors hors weighs 1000
pounds,
10 n here is more than one way Of
!" talking on the subject of religion" and
a better way, evidently, than the Old
English lady has found whose husband
lay wasting under lingering disease.
Tho rector expressed the hope that she
sometimes spoke to him Of the future.
81 do, indeed, sir. Often and often l
wakes him in the night and says, John,
John, you little thinks of the torments
as is preparing for you.'
&C. A teacher in Chicago, said'to one
of her pupils: James, what good thins
what great sacrifice are you willing to
give mp during the Lentcn season ?"
Jimmie meditated about ten seconds and
responded: 81 think TIL give up going
to Sunday school"
Hf,- Teacher What bird did Noah
send out of the ark?'' Smallest boy in
the class, after a pause" A dove, SIR"
Teacher" Very well, but I should have
thought some of you big boys would
have known that" Tall pupil-Please
sir, that boy ought to know sir, cause
his fathers bird ketcher, sir"
Me Rather hard joke is told on one
of the ink -slingers in attendance at the
Press Convention in Atlanta. A certain
editor.who wasn'tcelebrated for his clean
Illness of person, wore rosebud in his
button hole at the banquet, and took
great pride in showing it. He approach
ed young lady and said: "Isn't this
rose bud beautifully" to which she an
swered affirmatively. He then asked
her if she could "imagine how it came
there2" The lady turned up her nose
and said, 81 suppose, sir, that 1t grew
there" The editor went home.
@ stMy dear boy" said a kind-hearted
country school mistress to a pupil whose
quarter was about up; " does your father
design that you should tread the intricate
and thorny path of the professions, the
straight and narrow way of the ministry
or revel amid the tlowry fields of litera'
turean +" No marm," said the Juvenile
"dad says he's sgoing to set me to work
in the 'tater patch"
a@- Bewailing the impossibility O
electing any other candidate, the Rich
mond Enquirer gives up the third ticke
project, and says: ut is too late now
however, to recede. The issue is made
and it is Greeley or nothing. We mus