The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-02-02
The Baptist Festival and Fair-h"r-
ket Price OF IntrOductiOns-Bu Bust.
ness I'm the Legislature.

CHARLESTON, w. Va, January "a.
Last night some evil spirit led your
unfortunate correspondent to attend the
Baptist Festival and Fair at their new
church. Now this thing Of fairs. when
devoted to the interest Of agriculture,
such as horse racing, trotting, etc., is a
very enjoyable affair, but when, as on
this occasion, they are used to inveigle
the unwary. they are in my humble
Judgment, the invention OF the devil,
though diverted to the use OF paying
the debts of the followers Of Jehovah
Such affairs always put me in mind Of
the anecdote told Of old Tom Corwin.
One day, as old Tom was sitting in his
Office, a long cadaverous, solemncholy
seedy looking individual entered and
announced his business by presenting a
subscription paper TO build a church.
Old Tom read it over very carefully,
handed it back, aud asked,
Look here mister, don't the Bible
say the Lord has cattle on thousand
hills9
"Oh, yes; certainly" replied the
preacher. ;,
Then why in the HI don't he sell
some of his cattle and build his own
churches" said Corwin.
One feature of the Fair was most
ludicrous, and would have been laugh
able had it not been 80 expensive. The
young ladies Of the city were out ID
force, and as a matter Of course the
aforesaid strangers were anxious to be
introduced. The result was, that your
unhappy correspondent was inconti-
nently gobbled up, taken in and done
for. 1t happened in this wise: AS be
was promenading listlessly around,
looking in vain for some familiar face,
a gentleman stepped up and said Miss
desired the pleasure of an intro
duction to yours truly. We blushed
The honor was 30 unexpected that it
quite o'erwhelmed US, and we recovered
our senses jus. in time to see a fairy
like creature (of about 200 pounds
avordupois) making US a most graceful
bow. We bowed, she bowed, we both
bowed. The graceful pymph Goo
pounds avoriupois) leaned towards US,
and with much empressment we return
ed the lean; and just as we were about
TO whisper our most taking compli.
ments, while her soft breath, fragrant
as the spices of the Indies, swept our
blushing cheeks, a voice low and sweet
as that OF wandering zephyr broke
our trance, and she very quietly asked
us for a two dollar note! We gave it
to her, but obstinately refused to extend
our acquaintance any more. But ii 1t
be true that misery loves company,
then we are most happy, for every
stranger was victimized in the same
manner, and as the result of the even
iugs experience we quote introductions
dull; first quality" $l.50@200; "iair
to ordinary" 5Oc@$l. 90; common"
SOC. The prices were shaky at the
close, and "frst class" were freely Of
fered at $l.OO, With no takers.
In the House, the regular routine OF
business was enlivened BY spirited
discussion on the joint resolution to ad.
iourn on the 10th Of February, which
brought out more ability than has yet
been displayed. Mr.. Barr, of Ohio,
made the best speech Of the day and OF
the session, and one that surprised his
friends very agreeably and added much
to his reputation as a sound reasoner
and shrewd debater. The resolution
was finally referred to the committee
on the Judiciary, which was, in effect,
a decision that there would be no ad'
journment until the expiration Of the
session.
/ neglected to mention hitherto that
the gay and festive Davenport ID