Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-03-08
NO. 26.
Quips and Quiddities.
EXTREMES meat--souse.

EXTREMES meat-SouSe.
HIGH and dry-many of the public
lecturers.
| AN artificial florist who lives upon the
second floor may be called second
Flora.
WHERE ought we always to find the
milk of human kindness ? In the pale
of the church.
IT is q queer woman who asks no
| questions, but the woman who does Is
the querist.
The improved means of reaching the
Yo Semitic will render it more accessible
to valleytudinarians.
Some one describes n philanthropist
as a man who loves all mankind and
neglects his own family. .E
WHAT three great authors would a
person name who witnessed the Chicago
fire? Dickens, Hewitt, Burns.
THE only mention of paper money
in the Bible is where it says a dove
brought the green back to Noah.
HEicHT of travagance-getting your
self run over by railroad car just after
you have bought your diary for 1872.
THERE is a musician who has such
tame piano that he can send it to the
brokers', and it will fetch twenty
pounds.sy ~ s.a.r eql
Tue libel suit of Judge Porter vS R..
H. Mcbride, editor of the Eldora (Iowa) y
Ledger, for $4,000, has been decided in
favor of the defendant.
A NEGRO, after gazing at some Chinese,
shook his head and solemnly said: "lf
de white folks be as dark as dat out dar,
/ wonder what's de color of de black
folks.n e.e,.ut t-ot t.. ....
JUDGE BACON once trying man, Hog by name,
Who made with his lordship Of kindred claim.
Hold" said the Judge, You're little mis-
Hog must be hung first before It's good Bacon"
"NEvER mind the obituary, judge"
said Montana culprit, when the court
became pathetic in pronouncing the
sentence. "Let's fix the time for the
funeral" r..
81 A SHAWL manufacturer in Philadel-
phia has spun thread twenty.seven
miles long from one pound Of American
wool. 1t is one of the greatest yarns on
record.
WE are all blandly liberal until some
body treads upon our theological corns,
and then we at once discover that the
offender isn't much of man and
brother after all.
RHODE ISLAND allows its legislators four
cents mileage, and the member who
lives the furthest away from the Court
House thus draws eight cents each clay
for walking down and back.
A DANBUaY German is named Wach-
schleighemshamel. How would you
like to stand on back stoop with the
thermometer IL degrees below zero,
and call that chap in to breakfast?
A Missouri woman recently eloped,
leaving the following note to comfort
her husband: "Dear William-Good
bye; don't mourn for the children, be-
cause none of them are yours" ~
/" I THINK" said farmer, l should
make a good Congressman, for use
their language. / received two bills
the other day, with requests for imme-
diate payment; the one ordered to be
laid on the table; the other to be read
that day six months"
JEFFERSON, Texas, is amazed over q
haunted house, owned by G. III. Dorm,
who, on account of the spectres there
seen, can get neither purchaser nor
renter. He intends to tear it down and
build a school on the site, which, it is
thought, will disperse the spirits. -
Mrs. ARNOLD, of Detroit, Mich, re-
preached her husband Samuel for his
lazness, on Wednesday of last week,
and told him that he had better go to
the woods and hang himself. He went
away, and has not been seen since. His
wife believes that he has taken her
advice.
s'.MY SON." said good mother 80 her
young hopeful, "did you wish your
teacher happy New Year?" No,
maam,' responded the boy. Well,
why not?n =" Because" said the youth,
" she isn't happy unless she's whipping
some of us boys, and | was afraid if
wished her happiness, she'd go for me-"
A LODE of lead has been discovered at
Sinsinawa Mound, Grant county, Wis,
which is said to be the most wonderful
ever known in the district. The open
ing is ~ feet wide and filed with mine
raj to depth of As feet. u.
THERE is considerable excitement at
Carrsville, Tenn, over the discovery of
rich deposits OF lead and other ores by
the Memphis Company, which recently
purchased mining land at that place.
SMITH thought it was morally wrong
to take the animals for food, and he re-
solved to quit it and live on vegetables.
But one morning he gave way to tempta-
ton and walked into beef-steak. 81
don't know" said he, that it's any
harm to eat a piece of this COW, since
it's dead and the matter can't be helped;
but I'll be hanged if I'll ever kill onew
An Expensive Railway.
The Baltimore and Ohio railroad ex-
poets to open in June direct line from
Washington to Point of Rocks, reducing
the time to Pittsburgh and Cincinnati
two or three hours, and avoiding all