Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-12-29
VARIETIES.

why IS the letter I ike a young lady;
Because it makes pa pay.
William Tells chapel Is said to be 3
myth, because it is all in Ur-i.
Can stealing tea be called a crime
when it is only leaf-taking.
Would not stearin' candles be the best
illuminators for lighthouses?
A French gentleman and his wife are
still taking ocean baths az Cape May.
The Doctors work fills six feet OF
ground, but the dentists fills an aeher
The dearest object to a man should
be his wife, but it is not unfrequently
her clothes.
Foreign fashion writer's say that lew
els and flowers are used extensively for
dressing the hair.
Love your neighbOr as Yourself u
Yes, that's all very well; but supposing
he keeps parrot?
OF all things in the world that are
'better late than never,n going to bed
certainly ranks first.
The bed to be avoided, next TO an
onion bed, is probably the bed Of the
river-unless one is partial to sheets OF
water
The Marquis of Butte is the principal
owner of a new line of steamers from
Cardiff to New York. VIII his sailors
be Bute-Jacks?
There is a movement started to annex
West Florida to Alabama, Middle Flor
ida to Georgia, and make East Florida
constitute the State.
Just at this season paterfamilias is fire.
quently seen going home with big
bundles under his arm that drive his
children into agonies Of curiosity.
Twelve Indians were hung in a row in
Texas, recently, for driving of surrepti-
tiOus beef. After having their faces
washed, eleven turned out to be white
men.
Some San Francisco citizens with mu-
sic in their souls, have petitiOned the
Board of Supervisors to declare the or
chestra OF the Chinese Theater a nui-
sance.
A young man OF Newport, Kentucky,
IS prosecuting two charming girls and
their papa because they waylaid him on
a lonely turnpike and gave him a Sc
we're beating for maligning their eharac-
tiers.
A Detroit man had fever, during
which he frequently asked for pickles
and cider. When he had become so ill
that his death was considered only a
question of few hours, bis wife gave
him the much-desired viands, and he
recovered.
Inflated rubber bustles are announced.
They are said to impaTt great buOyaney
to the movements. In case of ship
wreck they would, undoubtedly, be adj
vantageOus, although a girl flOated by
one of them might be taken for a buoy,
and so passed by unnOticed.
Information has been received that .ex-
Minister Catacazy has not fallen in dis
grace with the Gar. He has just been
employed to adjust certain ecclesiastical
difficulties between the Pope and the
Russian government concerning the ap-
pointment of Catholic Bishops in PO-
land.
A man recently broke off a marriage
because the lady did not possess good
conversational powers. A cynical friend
commenting on the fact says: "He
should have married her, and then re-
fused her new bonnet, and then he
would have discovered her cOnversa-
tiOnal powers"
A party of Cinnamon in San Fran
ciso, not approaching the subtleties of
the laws delays, and having suffered
from the tricks of one of their own cOun-
tTymen, who had been accused of steal
ing three hundred dollars in coin, took
the culDrit into a wash-hOUse, twisted a
towel around his neck, pronounced him
guilty, and proceeded to carry the sen
tence into execution by pitching him
into the bay, from which he was rescued
by a boGtman. The self-eonstituted
court are suffering some of the rigOrs of
the laws delay, being in prison on an
indictment for attempt to murder.
Three newspapers are to be started in
New York. Mr.. +. L. GOdkin, editor
of the Nation, purposes to establish q
daily newspaper in New York, with q
capital of one hundred thousand dollars,
of which thirty thousand dollars was
said to be raised two weeks ago. Barry
Gray, the novelist, announces his in
tentiOn to issue a new monthly, called
The Table, to be devoted exclusively to
subjects connected with the pleasures of
the table, the science of cooking and
the art OF good living. The third Of
the new enterprise is an illustrated daily,
for which are nearly per
feeted.
A German settler in Ohio, found
guilty of selling liquor contrary to law,
and sentenced to be imprisoned in the
county Jail for thirty days, protested as
follows; "Chail? Go TO chail! Me 90 to
chail! But | can't gOl Dere's mine piz-
iness-mine bakery. Who pakes mine
pread When bin gOne?'' Then, casting
his eyes about the court appealingly,
they fell upon the jolly, gOOd-natured
face of Chris. Elwaner, a fellOw-cOun-
uyman who had no t'piziness," and
forthwith a brilliant idea struck him.
Turning to che Judge, he said, in sober
earnest, "Dere's Chris. ElWaner; he's
got nothing to do; send himw
The Springfield Republican says: One
Of our suburbs has aromanee. The hero,
eighteen years ago, with the devotion of
Z young lover, sought fame and fortune
IN the mighty West. But while he
LOiled, hisinamOfata married hisbrother,
but, flied with remOrse, commended to
our hero her little sister, then nine or
ten years old. The little girl sent the
pilgrim her picture; he saw it and was
glad. A correspondence ensued, result
ng in an engagement before the parties
lad ever met. At length the soul of the
ardent Idahoan burned to behold his
bride. In the east wind he heard her
calling, and in steamy vapor he sped a
thousand miles toward the sun-rising.
Of their meeting and their greeting we
will say little. Suffice it that ere again
he voice of the turtle is beard in the
and, there viii be another cottage
among the mountains of IdahO,in which
he person of our idyl shall sit ateven-
.ide and review those years of waiting,
which to both mayhap were asa few days,
because of love.