Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-07-31
Mr.. Nasby Has Fearful Dream. i'm
Which He Sees Many Things.
-FrOm the IOIeGO Blade.
CoNFEDRIT Y RoADsl
(wtch is in the State Nv Kentucky,)
Ino1n -

81
H. Ea-eF.r e.- Joon ~, 1872.
l don't know wat IS the matter with
me; but Nv late l dream more reglarly
and more feroshusly than ever did in
my life | hev he'd succeshun NV
nitemares ever sence I gave in my ad-
hesion to Greeley, some Nv wich wuz
! stupenjusly friteful [ go to bed with
Greeley on my mind, and dream dreams
SO horrible that awake with cold SWEETS
4 onto me, and shivrin ez tho | he'd the
ague. Mite afore last Greeley appear
ed to me with hoofs, horns and tail
He perched hisself on my stumick,
squatting like hidjus toad, and, putt
ing on his spectacles, deliberately read
me, from an old copy of the Triboon,
six yards Nv his own editorials on the
slavery question. He finally sailed off
thro the air, shrekin ''Lostl LOST"
Lost, [ reely don't know. Eff
he felt ez mean in my com
Ipany ez [ did in hizzen, the re-
mark wood embrace both Nv us.
Last mite [ had another friteful Wis
ION We hev family in the village
which don't live in harmony The
husband got intoxicated some years
ago, and, KNOWN that it isn't the gettin
4 drunk that hurts a man but the gettin
4 sober, hez lodged that trouble by STAY
IN drunk. His principal amusement
lis whalin his wife. The novelty of this
hevin won off, yesterday morning he
gave her a couple Nv ounces of arsenic.
Vaulting ambishen o'erleaped herself
bis excessive Iiberality defeated his
purpus. The dose wuz too b1g-it
. yoly o6 hnr oh r-or,o1Io1 1,,,oI
and whaled him within an inch Nv his
life. wuz at the house, and late in
the evenin left, stoppin at Deekin Po-
grams, where we took g1nooine Ken
tucky tea, which consisted principally
of corn whisky and cold billed pork.
From thence went home and retired,
with my head full Nv the pisen, and
Greeley, mixed in about ekal proper
shens. Fallin asleep, dreamed
Methawt [ wuz in a bildin, where, I
coodent make out. Stretched out onto
couch and kivered with flag wuz the
| body Nv all enormous gIant-the most
/! huge and comprehensive giant [ had
ever seen, even in dreems. His legs
Wuz like pillars, his arms wuz like
beams, and his hands spread out like
the map of our wunst happy but now
opprest country. He seemed to be in
the last stages of fearful sickness !
He he'd bin, in his day, giant of i'm
mense strength, and wuz, even in his
Illness. .ez handsome a human bein ez |
ever sot eyes onto. But it wuz evident
that he wl1z goin fast. He drawd his |
breath painfully, and from ugly wounds
on his body blood oozed slowly but de-
pletinly
"Who is he2n I askt Nv the Goddess
Nv Liberty, ,wich sot at his head ID deep
mournin, and weeping violently
"That's Repubikinism, :" she re-
piled, "the only actooal, ginuine
friend [ ever hed-the only one who
reeley stood by me. But they are
KILN him. That cash in his back
Chase gave him; that stab in the side
wuz inflicted by Randall; the itch
wich so 1rritates him he caught from
the Blairs. and Good Heaven! here
comes another squad Nv his enemies.
looked, and To- Boss Tweed Hoff
man, Seymour, Hendricks, and a dozen
of my pertikeler friends were comm in.
They he'd masks on their faces, made
Nv Moo York T'iboons, but [ knowd
EN- for all that. Hoffman seized the
head Nv my PROSTATE giant, while
Tweed poured down his throat naus-
eous fooid from a Jug marked "Cin-
cinnati," fairly forcin it down him.
The victim shuddered as he swallered
it, ez tho it wuz his last and final shud-
der
"Yoo've killed himl 4" shrieked the
Goddess.
eve bleeve we hev, madami shout
ed the fellows in korus, rullin off their
masks, ''and you'll foller him within a
yeer.'
''Kill hernow !" yelled one Nv 'em,
who wuz evidently from Georgia; "she
amt got her champion to save her this
time
And they seezed her and gagged and
bound her, with friteful yells.
And in their Joy they executed a most
demoniac war dance about the corpse,
in which I jined, with an ABILITY I didn't
know possessed. But jist ez our ex-
ultashen wuz at its highest, the corpse
give fearful gasp-a convulshan NV
ten hoss power. He r1z up from the
couch. assoomed a sittin position, his
face Nv deathly paleness, and with
reich that shook the buildin vomited
ez I never saw a human bein vomit
."Good heavens!" shreeked Tweed,
sswe've given HIM too much Nv the
pizen and it's acting as an emet1c.
The sick man gave heave after heave,
and in the food Nv bile wich he
elected [ saw Greeley, Gratz Brown,
Schurz, Cox, and score NV sich. A
very gentle heave landed Schura and
Gratz Brown on the floor; a little big |
ger one threw out Fenton, and g1gan-
tic one, wich convulsed the sufferer
from center to circumference, histed
out Greeley. But, once over, it wuz a
tremenjus relief to the sick individooal. |
Immei1tly a great change come over
him. The moment they wuz off his
stumich the palenis disappeared--a
healthy color came to his cheeks, and
his weaknis all left him. Glarin about
furiously, he put one foot on Greeley
and Brown and their miZable compan-
IONS, ez a man crushes beetles; with
the other he kicked the jug out ov the
winder, wich Jug wuz followed by
Tweed and his friends, who went thrO
the same apertoor, propelled by the
same motive power He cut the bonds
off the Goddess, tore Off her mournln,
and wuz in the act Nv embracin her
when [ awoke.
[ lay for hours cogitatin over this
dream. Wuz 1t prophecy or billed
pork2 That's the conundrum. Is it q
warnin Nv judgment to come, or is it
disordered stumick2 Hev we dosed
the Republican party too freely with
Cincinnati, and hez vat we fondly
hoped wood be pizen enuff to kill our
great enemy goin to be the emetic wich
will rid him Nv the disturbin humors
wich wuz a destroyiu Nv him, and
make him stronger than ever?
1t troubled me so that [ coodent
sleep. tossed about In the most rest
/ less and frantic MANNER, and Good
only indooce the gentle Goddess to
tetch my eyelids after four solid drinks
from a jug which I keep in my room,
wich isn't marked Cincinnati" by no
means Heaven grant that my dream
is simply baseless fabric. =l
PETROLEUM Y. NAsBY,