The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-04-26
PLAIN DEALER,

DUOh VI sdiulo, Ny - duS' ouu ScustlISA,
A. d., 1867.
The pebbles in our pathway makes us
more foot sore than the huge rocks we
stoutly climb.
Where did Noah preserve the bees
during the food! In tho ark
hives.
A pair ofpetticoated peripatic profess
sional pugil;sts plague Pennsylvania.
A Georgia editor has had his pistol
stolen. He alvcrtises to give the
thief the contents, and no questions
asked if he will return it.
Boston papers say that New York
wives, when enraged against their
spouses, call them custom-housc
frauds.
n Texas editor contends that a men,
Der Of Congress from that State has
right to his scat because she bought
it,"
Marriages are most numerous in the
autumn in Massachusetts. So it was
in Eden; the first marriage was in the
early fall.
The earliest extant collection Of the
writings of the New Testament contains
two books which have since dropped out.
Their titles were 1.-The Epistlc of Bar
nabas' and 1.-The Shepherd.
Mr.. Boutwell, thinks the discrepancies
in the accounts of the different depart
ments were owing to diversties in book
keeping!
An Illinois exchange, giving an ac-
count of serious fire in a neighboring
locality, innocently adds: "Gen. Sher-
idan not being present, no one was
shot"
Troubled with Boils.-A hen in In
diana is said to have laid hard-boiled
eggs last Easter Monday. She was a
quarrelsome creature, we suppose, and
and always in shot water"
This is the way they put it now
"Mr. Clementon, talented equine
abductor' Of Minnesota, was prevailed
upon to attend a 'necktie sociable'
lately.
Another black sheep has turned up
in George D. Orner, revenue collector
of the Fifth Missouri District, who has
defaulted 500, 600 in the most ornery
radical manner.
An honest country parson' in the
time of great drought, was desired to
pray for rain, answered: "I'm willing
to do it to obligc you, but it is to no
purpose while the wind is in this quar-
ter"
An ex-Tribune proof-reader says: "If
Horace Greeley had written the inscrip-
ton on the wall in Babylon, Belshazzar
would have been a good deal more
scared than he was
Bonner, of the New York Ledger,
hitherto great admirer of Grant, finds
it impossible to support him any longer.
He thinks he is surrounded by rascals,
and hence he is horse-tile to his renom-
nation.
The Evansville Journal objects to
Judge Davis as a Presidential candi-
date, because he has "lily-white hands. ;
A sound Radical objection. Nobody
with clean hands need apply for Re-
publican nomination.
A good story is told of a st LOUIS
nobby dry goods clerk who attended a
dance in the rural districts few even
since. He wore Cheviot shirt, and
put on great many airs. He was
somewhat taken down, however, when
he overheard one country lass say to
another: That St. Louis chap Sings
on heap of style for Teller that wears
a bed-tick shirt
Men and Angels.-"When a man
dies" says Mahomct, "the people ask,
What property has he left behind
him!" But the angels, as they bend
over his grave inquire, What good
deeds hast thou sent before thee?
A somewhat ascetically inclined gen.
tleman, having written to the bishop of
Quebec as to the sinfulness Of dancing.
Bishop Williams concluded his reply
with these words: II am alive to the
danger in young mans path; I would
rather see my son too fond than too shy
of the ball room.
1t was thought, until lately, that
nothing could stop George Francis
Trains tongue; but an audience of
twelve, at Syracuse, N. Y, did the