The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-11-20

I
who had drawn blank in lottery
went to his death after the following
unique and elaborate preparations
He first procured loaded revolver
and connected it with clock work, so
that it should he fired off at certain
time. He then got into bed, and, af-
ter placing the pistol behind his ear.
took dose Of chloroform. Under the
influence of the narcotic he then went
to sleep. AT the given time the clock
work pressed the trigger, discharging
the pistol, and launching the slumber-
er into eternity. This device is an ac-
cession to the plain self.shooting and
hanging of ordinary suicide, and in its
mechanical merits seems neate., if not
quieter than the gullotine.
Certain young Indian gentlemen.
who were pursuing the study of the
Jaw, were one evening invited by the
Master Of the Temple to spend the
evening at his house. The time set for
the arrival Of the interesting party
arrived, but nobody came. When
nearly an hour had passed in fruitless
waiting, the doctors lady rang for the
maid, who had not become quite ac.
customed TO the ways of the house.
She entered in a state of considerable
excitement. Have none of the gem
tlemen arrived ?" asked her mistress.
"No," answered the domestic; "but u
lot of Christy Minstrels have been
ringing at the bell, and 1 have been
driving 'em away"
Oshkosh, Wis, has had an Enoch
Arden, hut he didn't come back and
/ gaze through the window at the felicity
of the reconstructed household, and
then go into the green and yellow mel.
ancholy business; not any. He kick
ed the new husband out, sorted over
The children and sent his brats after
him, aud after ;hreshng his wife, set
tied down into a peaceful and happy
head Of the family.
Two Irishmen, on sultry night
took refuge under the bedclothes from
a party Of mosquitoes. At last one of
them, gasping from heat ventured to
peep beyond the bulwarks and espied
Il FREELY which had strayed into the
room. Arousng his companion with n
punch, be said; "Furgus, Furgus, it's
no use le might as we'll cone out.
Here's one of the craythers searching
for US wild a lantern"
Occasionally, when the train arrives
Mt Middlet"wn, Conn, a nice Young
man jumps of and kisses the best look
ing girl at the depot, supposing her to
be his sister. He apologies so nicely
that the girls are getting so they look
for him regularly. Some big brother
will pull his nose yet.
A Sunday school teacher who had
almost become discouraged over the
listlessness Of her class, at last felt re-
warded by an interesting loo!, from
little girl. The reward was lost when
the little creature touched a bracelet
on her arm, and asked, Teacher, ae
them threaded on 'lastic."
Charles, " said a young lady to her
lover, there is pthing interesting in
the paper to-day, is there, dear ?" mo
love, nut | hope there will be one day,
when we both shall be interested" The
lady blushed, and said, of course, "For
shame, Charles !"
A baby had the misfortune to swal-
low the contents Of an ink bottle. It's
mother, with wonderful presence Of
mind, Immediately administered box
Of steel pens and two sheets of foolscap
paper, and the child has felt write in
side ever since.
"Do you think Jonah cried when he
was in the fsh's belly?" was the ques-
tion put to an oily seaman by sleek
querist. Don't know" replied Jack,
"but should think not, as there was
plenty Of blrbber without his'n."
At certain church fair set OF
Cooper's works was promised to tho
individual who should answer a set of
conundrums. a dushing young fellow
was pronounced the winner, and re-
ceived set Of wooden pals.
A printer out west, whose Office is
half Il mile from any other building,
and who hangs his sign on the limb of
tree, advertises for an apprentice.
He says: "A boy from the country
preferred"
Two undertakers meeting the other
day, one Of them remarked on the vast
increase Of mortality "Well," A." replied
the other, "you're luckier than l, forI
haven buried 4 living soul these three
weeks"
A story is told Of a person asking
another whether he would advise him
to lend certain friend money. "Nhat,
lend him money? You might give him
an emetic, and he wouldn't return it,"
A lady about to marry was warned
that her intended, although good
man, wan very eccentric. Well, she
said, if he is very unlike other men, he
il mara itaIv D., o., "a l.. q, .-g..l l,,-l.,.l