The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-04-25
ALL Sorts of Paragraphs.

All Sorts OF paragraphs.
= A rejected lover says any fool can make
women talk, but it's rather hard to make one
listen.
= The editor of an Eastern paper says that
many of his patrons would make good wheel
horses, they hold back so we'll.
- Some young men are little partial to
blue eyed maidens others like dark eyed las
ses, but the mon-eyed girls have the most sui
tors.
90, my dear, there is most lovely set
pin, earrings, and sleeye-buttons. DO go buy
them" eyes, my DEAR mean to 60 by them
as fast as possible"
= There is, perhaps, no time at which we
are disposed to think so highly of a friend as
when we see him standing higher than we ex-
pected in the esteem of Others
- In ancient days the proverb was know
thyself;" in modern times it has been supplan-
ted by the far more fashionable maxim
"Know thy neighbor and everything about
him."
- "Mother," said little boy, GIVE got a bad
headace and sore throat, too." "Well, you
shall have some medicine" said the mother.
otis no NATTER" retorted the shrewd urchin,
"Ive got 'em-but they don't hurt me.''
"A seedy and unhappy looking man, en-
tering revival meeting in Mississippi, took a
seat near the pulpit The clergyman, noticing
his forlorn appearance, stepped up to him and
ri am editor of the village paper"
= A young lady says she cannot see any
thing so wonderful in the newspapers predict
| ing the weather, as they always know before
hand what the fashions are going to be-. and
she is sure there is nothing in nature so tickle
as the fashions
= CORRESPONDENT of a Baltimore paper
wants to know why marriages and death noti-
| ces should be paid for? For the best OF rea-
sons, one is an advertisement of copartnership,
and the other is notice of dissolution. Busi-
ness is business.
| - The largest clock in the world is in the
English House of Parliament; the dials, OF
which there are four, are twenty-five feet IN dl-
ameter and the pendulum is fifteen feet long
The bell upon which the hours are struck is
| eight feet high and nine feet in diameter, and
weighs nearly fifteen tons.
- A lady converted gentleman to the fe-
male suffrage doctrine the other day. He met
her in the street during storm, and lent
| her his umbrella; she has not returned it,
and he believes now that women should
have just the same privileges as men, and no
more
"A layman in Providence who occasionally
exhorted at evening meetings, thus explained
his belief in the existence OF Deity: "Breth-
rem. am lust as confident that there is Su-
preme Being as I am that there is flour in AL
exandria, and that know to a certainty, as
| I Yesterday received from there a lot of three
hundred barrels of fresh super6ne, which will
sell as low as any person in town."
AN editor and his wife were walking out
in the bright moonlight one evening. Like all
editors wives, she was of an exceeding poetic
nature, and said to her mate, "Notice that
moon how bright, and calm, and beautiful"
Couldn't think of noticing it," replied the
editor, "for anything less than the usual rates
one dollar and fifty cents for twelve lines"
= The local editor of the Jacksonville Jour-
nal wrote the other day an item to the effect
that "winter was lingering in the lap OF
spring." but the managing editor "cut it out
He said the idea was good enough, and origi-
nal. and all that sort Of thing, but it would not
do to publish, because the high moral tone of
the paper had to be maintained in town full
of seminary girls.
A practical teetotal bootmaker advertises
in an English paper that in consequence OF his
| having caught cold, through going to church
on a damp night he begs all his ministerial
friends to pray for his recovery, as hundreds OF
the poor in his native town and surrounding
villages are waiting for him to supply them
with some cheap and strong boots and shoes
from his establishment
- The long duration of the Tichborne trial
has attracted some attention in England to the
length to which suits are sometimes protracted,
and the Morning Post recalls the fact that the
longest on record in England is that between
the heirs of Sir Thomas Talbot Viscount Lisle,
and the heirs of Lord Berkeley. The title to
certain possessions was in question, and the
suit beginning in the reign of Edward ",
was not concluded till the reign of James l.,
and then only by compromise. 1t had lasted
120 years.
= During the trial of case witness per-
sisted in testifying to what his wife told him.
To this, of course, the attorney objected. He
would proceed again to tell "shust how it vas, :"
when the attorney would sing out: GLOW do
you know that ?" "My wife told me-" was the
answer This was repeated several times
Presently the Judge, becoming unable to con-
tain himself longer, interrupted Suppose
your wife were to tell you that the heavens had
| fallen, what would you think 2" "Vell, l dink
dey vas down"
ABBEvILLE AND THE GOLD REGIoN.-Our
County has for long time been famed for its
| rich mineral deposits, and new fields of hidden
wealth have lately been discovered A range