Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-11-08
Gleanings.

An Unsatisfactory Meal--A domestic
broil.
The Advance Guard "A bethrothal
ring.
A lover is like vocalist when he goes
to meet her.
California banks pay monthly divi-
dcnds
Thread lace is much used as a bonnet
trimming.
A wise lawyer never goes to law him
SELF
A handsaw is good thing, but not to
shave with
Cattle in Miami County Kansas, are
dying of "mad itch''
Byron, a dark reddish purple, is one of
the new tnts. 1t is very stylish.
Do not infer that an individual is 60
ing to spin yarn because he knits his
brow.
Out West, when a lazy man is seen at
work, they say he is meddling with in
dustry.
A St. Louis family mourns the de-
cease ola canary in the eighteenth year
of his age.
"Corn-bread?" said an Irish waiter,
1--WE haven't got it; and isn't it corn bafe
ye mane?"
A Tennessee dog saved the life of his
drunken master by dragging him off 4
railroad track.
We can't complain of woman's cX-
travagance now. She wears her dresses
long enough, goodness knows.
A love-lorn swain remarks that the
final rejection of his suit by his inamorata
was of the nature mo sir-ender
A grand jury was empaneled at Roch-
ester, Mo, the other day, and then ad
journed to attend horse race
An editor asks his subscribers to pay
him that he may play the same joke on
his crditors.
Somebody says wife should be like
roasted lam-tender, and nicely dressed
A scamp adds: "And without any
sauce"
On Woman with Red Hair VINO
Wrote Poetry. - Unfortunate woman,
red, but your poems are not.
The young man on Olive street who
thinks he has fine tenor voice, was vac
cinated with brick-bat, by a sleeplcSs
ncighbor last night.-!St Louis Globe.
The New York Journal of Commerce
warns bankers that no thickness of stone
or iron will keep burglar out of vault
he can only hire the room next door.
Happy is the country that has no his
tory as the school-boy said on being
flogged the third time for not knowing
who was Henry the Sixth's wife-Punch.
An exchange says that young men in
England are forfeiting their marriage en-
gagements in consequence of the high
price of coal" They shouldn't stand
back on that account. They ought to
know that many mans wife makes the
house hot enough for him without
pound of coal
The old chap who had come in to see
the parade yesterday, thought the war
must be over, because he found place
in town where he could get two cigars
for five cents. After smoking one he re-
tired behind a board fence and came out
ten minutes later, pale in the face, but
ready for another war.-IitusciHe Press.
The Chicago Times has received an
original poem on The Burnt District at
Midnight" The 102d verse reads: "Thc
derrick stands still 'gainst the half.finisE-
ed wall. The brick piles are quiet; the
stones are at rest. Tomorrow they'll
rise 8 or 10 stories tall, in huge massive
structures-the worst in the West"
A Tennessee paper has discovered
that there is quite an historic interest
about Jonesboro, the Oldest town in the
state. There General Jackson lived,
studied law became judge and fought
his first duel. Daniel Boone started
from thence for Kentucky, and it was
also there that Andrdew johnson made
his maiden speech.
A subscriber wrote to the editor of
Newark paper to ask the meaning of the
phrase, m0rs omnibus conmunis. The
editor said it was French sentence, in
tended to explain something about
Morse's omnibuses being of service to the
community At the same time, he said,
the sentence was evidently constructed
by some idiot who thought he knew
French, when he didn't, and consequently
several important words were left out.
An 1llinoisan advertises for girl.
Not" he says, "the ordinary girl who
comes into families and stays for her
board and clothes, bowling infant with
a red face and no teeth, swathed in tlan-
mel and very partial to cholic, but a
broadshouldered, deep-chested, two.
listed servant girl-red hair, f-eckles and.
general ugliness preferred, on account of
the Oldest boy in the family"
Alta prayer meeting in Worcester,
Mass, the other evening, colored broth
or on arising to pray, prefaced that exer-
else in this way: Brethren and sisters
it don't do me bit of good to hear any
Of you speak or pray; feel as though l
must do it for myself, for, YOU know, as
Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ said,
Every tub must stand on its own bot.
TOM"
Inspired by the success Of a New York
Tribune reporter in playing crazy and
getting himself locked up in the insane
asylum, Chicago reporter recently tried
the same dodge on the State Idiot Asy-
lum. 1t worked like charm. They
took him in and wondered he hadn't
been there before. And now his friends
can't get bin out. No use telling the
managers he was only making believe"
They have seen too many idiots to be
fooled
If poor lone youth. with a waxed- end
mustache, should write young lady of
this city to meet him by moonlight alone,
and the young lady's mother should come
in or tangent and tan the gent until the
plane Of his coat-tail formed an angle
with vertical line, would the hypothe-
muse Of the community be equal to the
sum of the squares described by the
young man in "gittin' away from dare"
And if so-how?
II declare" said an old lady, revert
ing to the promise made on her marriag.
day by her liegc lord, II shall never for
get when Obadiah put the nuptial ring
on my finger, and said with my world
ly goods thee endow.' He used to keep
dry goods store then, and thought he
was going to give me all there was in it.
l was young then, and did not know till
afterward that it meant one calico gown
year."
A German marble cutter of Albany has