Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1872-02-02
ceEJGHy.
Recollections of "Artemus Ward
BY TIE "rAT CONTRIBUTOR. 90

To the multitude Of "reminiscences Of the
genial Snowman thar have been printed,
am tempted to add few Of my own recollec-
tons.
first met him in Cleveland, Ohio, in the
suring of 1853. | was then connected with a
Buffalo paper, and Charley Brown, as
everybody called him, who knew him in
those DAYS. was local Of the Cleveland PAN
Dealer. position which he had then held
but few months. He had written some
sketches over the nom de plume Of 'Artemus
Ward, the Snowman, but, up to that time,
nothing attracted much attention, though his
witty local columns had been the delight Of
HE Cleveland readers.
On my arrival in Cleveland | called at the
PLAN Dealer office and inquired for the edi-
tor, Mr. Grey, to whom | bore a letter Of in
PRODUCTION. 4 tall, slender young man, OF
about twenty-four years, with a smooth,
thin face, whose prominent feature was .
high Roman nose; and very light hair that
persisted in sticking straight out in all d.
rections, stepped forward and received me
with winning and unaffected c9rdiality, in
the absence Of Mr.. Grey, introducing him
self as the associate editor, Mr.. Brown. The
gravity Of his countenance, when speaking
was relieved by the twinkle Of the merTiest
of blue eyes. lie had way Of saying very
funny things, as if they were solemn. if not
melancholy facts, which puzzled me much
until came to know him.
Walking along Superior street together
shortly after our introduction, we passed a
dilapidated specimen Of humanity, who had
'yagabond' written all over him.
Now, sir, said Artemus, with a look Of
mingled disgust and pity, as he pointed u
the miserable fellow, you wouldn't think
that wretched being was at this moment,
the wealthiest man in Cleyeland?'
"No :" said looking At the man with
some interest.
"Well, he isn't, returned Artemus, with
a comical pucker of the mouth, while his
eyes laughed consumediy.
It wasn't much of Joke, but il serves to
illustrate one Of his well known PECULIAR
ties, a iondness for playing people, which
grew upon him as his years advanced.
The first letter of Artemls Wards that
was generally copied, was bis laughable ac-
count of 'Baldinsville' celebrating the lay
ing O, the Atlantic cable This was printed
in the Pl1iH Dealer, in the fall of 1883. His
next successful effort, printed shortly after,
was descriptive of his visit to the Free L.g-
ers of Berlin Heights. In that letter he first
embellished American literature with the
significant word "gush.
she was a swete, gushin' child Of IA
tur, said her mother
LET her gush | roared, loud as could
boiler"
In the spring of 1859 accepted prohered
editorial position on the Cleveland National
Democrat, and renewed my acquaintance
with Artemus.
On the first evening Of my arrival, be VOL
unteered to show me around-make me ac-
quainted with the city-a very desirable
achievement, as was to FL the position of
city editor. lie showed NE around so
successfully that about o'clock in the
morning began to feel almost as much at
home in Cleveland as though had lived
there all my days. to say nothing of my
nights. Artemus invited me to share his
bed with him for the remainder Of the night,
and accepted.
Adjoining his room lodged a Young pro-
lessor Of elocutiOn, who was endeavoring to
establish school in Cleveland. lie was
Just starting cut in business, and was nat
ureily anxious to propitiate the press.
Lets get the professor up, . said Artemus,
land have him recite for Us.
| demonstrated with him, reminded him
Of the lateness Of the hour, that | wasn't
acquainted with the professor, and all that,
but to no purpose.
He's public man, said ward, "and pub
ft- una Glad to laa-e Of ho
press, as restaurants arc supposed to get up
warm meals at all hours.
lie gave laundering rap on the door as
be shouted:
"Professor-r-r -
who's there What yer want?'' cried a
rnnified voice evidently from beneath the
bed clothes, for it was q bitter cold night in
February.
at is Brown Of the Plan Dealer. said
Artemus, and, nudgng me gently in the ribs,
he whispered: "Ihat'll fetch him. The
lower Of the press is inyincible. 1t is the
Archimedean lever which"
lis remarks were interrupted by the open
ing OF the door, and | could Just discern the
DIM outline Of g shirted form shivering in
the doorway.
Excuse me to- disturbing you profcs-
sur, d" said Artemus. in his blandest manner.
"but am anxious to introduce my friend
here, the new local Of the Democrat He
has heard much Of you, and declares posi-
lively that be can't 20 TO bed till he hears
you eiOcute.'
"Hears me what - asked the professor,
between his chat.ering teeth
Hears you elOcute-recite--ee
claim-understand? specimen Of your elo-
cution?"
In vain did the professor plead the late
ness Of the hour, and his fire had gone out.
Artemus would accept no excuse.
Permit me at least, urged the profess
sor, ''to put on some clothes and light the
gas"
"NOt at all necessary. Eloquence nv
dear boy, is not dependent on gas. Here
tstraighteniDg up chair he had iust STUN
hled over get right up on this chair and
give Us 'the boy stood on the burning
deck, adding an aside whisper iu my ear.
the burning deck will warm him up
Gently yet firmly did Artemus boost the
reluctant professor upon the chair, protest.
ing that no apologies were necessary for his
appear nce, and assuring him that clothes
don I make the man, although the SILVER
ing disciple Of Demosthenes and Cicero prob
ably thought clothes would make man
more comfortable on such q night as that.
lie gave US 'Casabianca,' with a good
many quavers Of the voice, as he stood quak.
ing in a single short, white garment; and
then followed: '0n Linden, when the sun
y" low, Sword Of Bunker HILL etc., by