The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1872-10-24
RELIGIOUS IRONY.

LhO lOJIOWll,, luhCll nom VIC ~
dpcadcnL is too good MOI to lind it
way into fed o. wide ejaculation
The subject being a serious one, al
professors Of religion are requstot
not even, to smile whilst reading
the article. For several days after
reading, they may think of it ont
Ifcel amusCd:
There has been an effort made fol
the last twenty years TO kill congre
gational singing. The attempt has
been tolerobly successful but il
seems to me that some rules might
be given by which the work could
be done moro quickly and com.
plotely. What is the use of having
it lingering on in this uncertain
way? Why not put it out of its
misery If you are g,ing to kill &
snake, kill it thoroughly, and do not
lot it keep on waging its tail till sun
down. Congregational singing is 4
nuisance, anyhow, to many Of the
people. 1t interfores with their
comfort. 1t ohonds their taste. 1t
disposes their noses to ileyibility in
tho upward direction. 1t is too
democratic in its tendency, Down
with congregational singing and let
Us have no moro of it.
The first rule for killing it is to
have only such times as the people
cannot sing.
In some churches it is the custom
for choirs Mt each service to sing one
tune which the people know. 1t is
very generous of the choir to do
that. The people ought to be very
thankful for the donation. They do
not deserve it. They are all "mis.
cradle offenders" I heard them say
So, and, it permitted once in II
service to sing, ought to think them
selves highly favored, But | oppose
this singing Of even the one tune
that hepeople understand. 1t spoils
them. 1t gets them hankering after
more. Total abstinence is the only
safety for, if You allow them to i'm
bibe at all, they will get i'll the habit
of drinking too much Of it, and the
first thing you know they will be
going around drunk on sacred
psalmody. Besides that if you let
them sing one tune at service, they
will be putting their oar into other
tunes and bothering the choir. There
is nothing more annoying to the
choir than, ut some moment when
they have drawn ont u note to cX-
quisite fneness, thin as Il split hair,
to have some laundering elder to
come in with q "Praise ye the
Lord !" Total'abstinence, | say Let
all the churches take the pledge even
against the milder musical beverages;
for they who tamper with cham
pagne soon get to Hook and old Bur
gundy.
Now, if all the tunes are new,
there will be no temptation to the
people, They will not keep hum
ming along, hoping that they vii!
tiud some bars down where they can
break into the clover pasture. They
will take the tune as an ineX'ricnble
conundrum, and give it up. Besides
that Pisgah, Ortonyille, and Brattle
Street are old-fashioned. They did
very well in their day. Our fathers
were simpls-minded people, aud the
tunes fitted them. But our fathers
are gone, and they ought to have
taken their baggage with them. 1t
is nuisance to have those Old tunes
floating around the church, aud some
time, just as we have got the music
Us fine as an opera, to have revival
of religion come, and some newborn
soul break out in Crock Of Ages
Cleft for Me" till the organist
stamps the pedal with Indignation
and the leader Of the tune gets red
in the face and swears. Certainly
anything that make man swear is
wrong-GrJo congregational singing
is wrong. Quod crat demonStrund,m;
which, being translated, means
Plain as the noS@ u" & mans face.
What ri9h5 have people to sing
who know nothing about rhythmics,
melodies, dynamics The old tunes
ought to be ashamed of themselves
when compared with our modern
beauties. Let Dundee and Portuguese
Hymn and Silver Street hide their
heads beside what we heard not
long ago i'll u church--lust where [
shall not tell. The minister read
the hymn beautifully. Tho organ
began, and the choir sang, as near
rs | could understand, as follows;
Oo-aw-gee--bah
Ah--mc-la-he
O-Dah-sah -dah
Wo--haw goe-e-o-o.
My wife, seated beside me, did not
like the music. But | said: What
beautiful sentiment! My dear, il is
Il pastoral. You might have known
that from " JEoha1c-gee" You have
had your taste ruined by attending
the Brooklyn Tabernacle" The
choir repeated the last line OF the
hymn four times. Then the prima
donna leapcd on TO the first inc,
and slipped, and fell on to the sec,
ord, and that broke and let her
through into the third. The other
voices came in to pick her up, and