The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-08-01

mlnQ OF DOuy, the result OF one VI luS
playful" tricks. Chubby, dirty, odor-
Gus of bread and butter, about seven
years old and remarkably precocious,
Theo. Dobb, junior, was the incarnation
of malicious smischief-and thereby hangs
my tale.
On the occasion referred to, l.. how
ever, felt sure that should have an op-
portunity to put the decisive question,
bravely resolving that l would at once
embrace it-and Miss Jenny, provided
her answer was favorable. How well l
remember my dress and general appear
ance on that eventful dayl 1 am de-
cidedly tall and rather spare of person
my detractors even say that / am lank
and that my long legs resemble pipe
stems. That this is pure SANDER l need
scarcely observe, but l need not stop to
refute it now. Suffice it to say that my
figure is elegant and diStingue, and that
On that day L was got up, in an appro-
pirate costume, regardless of expense.
1t was water-party. A friend of
mine had built steamboat and invited
me to bring 0,y friends and have jolly
time on the trial-trip of the vessel. As
it was nautical occasion and in the
midst of summer, L wore garments suit
ed to the season and the situation. My
neither man was clad in nankeen mex
pressihles, tight at the hips and remark
ably flowing about the ankles. A
gorgeously embroidered blue shirt, with
a wide collar a Ia m0telOt, clothed my
stalwart chest, and over this l donned
an abbreviated jacket of nankeen, with
out particle of tail, and of the style
technically known as "round." A sailor
hat of straw with broad blue ribbon,
its long ends floating gracefully down
behind, completed my costume, and 1
defy the most malignant critic to pro-
nounce it inappropriate or unbecoming.
1 felt it acas becoming, for it set off
my peculiar style of manly beauty to
charm, and 1 should have had no alloy
whatever in my cup of happiness, if
Briggs-Toady Briggs, as his best friends
call hinl-had not been of the party.
A pushing, arrogant, disagreeable fell
low is that Briggs. 1 never liked him,
but he would persist in thrusting him
self upon me, and he intruded in Just
the same way upon Miss Bird. If had
but told him what she often said about
him
Well, that's neither here nor there.
I never did tell him, and here he was,
this beautiful, bright, sunshiny morn
ing-dressed as if he was going to a ball,
and really looking very well, for him
obscuring my sunshine and clouding my
enjoyment by persistently sticking, in
his usual obtrusive, self-suficient way,
as close as a limpet to rock, to Miss
Jenny's side. He ao0uM carry her para
SOL and follow her around the deck with
camp-stool, and fan her with palm
leaf, and adjust her rgnette-talking
and endeavoring to be witty all the time,
in such ridiculous way, that the dear
girl was absolutely obliged to choke
herself with her mOucho5r to prevent her
self from laughing in his very face-so
that, positively, was unable to get a
single confidential word with her until
the boat was quite out at sea, and, hay
ing been bilious for more than a week, /
began to feel rather qualmish.
told him, dozen times, that he was
making fool of himself, and that she
was quite disgusted with the nonsense
he was uttering, not to say anything of
his ofhciousness; but he had too good
an opinion of himself and his wit to
heed my kindly warning, and very i'm
pertinently told me to go towel to go
to the court of his Satanic majesty and
agitate myself He said " shake my
SELF" but wish to soften the vulgarity
of his remark, as much as possible, when
repeating it to ears polite. l did not go
to the place he mentioned, but 1 was
sufficiently agitated, both by his inso-
lence and the motion of the vessel, to
feel the necessity of few moments re-
pose. Accordingly, I retired from the
contest with my usual grace-leaving
him burdened with the camp-stool, the
lorgnette, the fan, the parasol and the
reproaches of his conscience, not to men,
ton Miss Jenny herself-and sought a
secluded spot where l might recline at
my ease and mediate upon the speech l
meant to make to the young lady, which
now determined to utter as we return
ed into the harbor.
l found cool, quiet spot on the top
of a long box, under the awning on the
forward deck, and my biliousness hav-
ing been somewhat relieved by small
toSse of cognqc, which the steward kind
ly brought me, L stretched myself at
length upon the box, and turning my
back to the merry makers aft, plunged
into delightful reverie. The attitude,
the breeze, the measured clank of the
machinery, and the brandy, all invited
me to repose, and nothing could have
added to my content-if Briggs and Lc-
gion had been left behind. But unfor-
tuuately Briggs was there, usurping my
post at Miss Jennie's side, and Legion
was there. kicking up an internal racket
all about the deck. And, worst of all,
Mrs. Dobb's youngest was there, COM
manding the legion with all the fuss
and vociferation of a first-class general
of the modern school, and making more
noise in one minute than battery of
six Founders, worked by veteran artil-
lerists, could possibly make in an
hour.
An energetic objurgation, uttered in
my most peremptory tones, scattered
this horde of light infantry, and even
created panic in the mind of their
commander, Mrs. Debb's youngest, for
he set the Gxample-as many modern
commanders have done-of retreating
from my vicinity, and their shrill
voices having died away in the distance,
l gradually fell into a peaceful slum-
Der.
cannot say how long slept, but it
must have been for some hours, for
when l awoke l found that the vessel