Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-02-15
Majesty Of the Law ExempIified.
From the New York Sun. Jan. a.


| From the New York Sun, Jan. %.
Justice Sheldon, of Portchester, N. Y,
is an honest old gentleman with but
little knowledge of law or books of any
kind. He understands horses, COWS,
when to plant marrowfat peas, and how
much manure is necessary to an acre of
ground. He means all right, but he fre-
| quently gets wrong. Last Wednesday
| Counsellor Paulding, relative of the
Justice Sheldon, to defend one Pat
| O'Neil, who was sued for $52, which
Bob O'Neil had advanced on his note.
The prosecutor was Lawyer Hyatt. The
old Judge, who chews tobacco like a
horse, elected a rye straw from his
mouth, squatted in his chair, and an
nounced that the Court was ready to
proceed with the case.
Counsel for Defense.-May it please
the Court, this case is one of the most
extraordinary and wonderful cases in
the annals of our national jurisprudence.
Search the records from Gratius to Coke
and Littleton, and, sir, it would be inn
possible to find a case more unparalleled
in atrocity or more dignifed in Its bear
ings. Why, sir, the great Jumel will
case is like a wart compared to q noun
| tain at the side of this issue.
Here the Court began to open its
eyes and act as though the magnitude
of the case had dumbfounded it. The
prosecuting lawyer looked as though he
had been struck by club. He stared
at Mr.. Paulding for one moment, sprang
to his feet and said: May it please
your Honor, L would like to know by
what precedent the defense opens this
case. That is my business, your Honor"
The Court with profound dignity.
Certainly it is.
| Counsel for Defense.-1f the Court
please, would like to know what sort
of ruling that is. I claim the right to
open the case, your Honor.
The Court (decidedly).-Sit down
you can't do it.
Counsel for Defense Indignantly
1 won't sit down. Give me the Revised
Statutes and will show you that have
the right to open the case.
The Court (sending out another rye
straw)-I have not the Statutes.
Counsel for Defense.-I knew that
very well.
Mr.. Hyatt (appealingly).-Why will
the Court allow itself to be trified with
in this manner?
Counsel fer Defense with great grav-
! ity).I take exception to Mr.. Hyatt's
remarks.
The Court (impatiently) well, ex-
| cept if you want to.
Counsel for Defense (profoundly).-
Please note my exceptions, if you
please, your Honor.
Mr. Paulding then dictated to the
| Courts clerk, quoting from Shakespeare,
the New Testament, and Don Quixote,
| to sustain his right to open the case, and
kept the clerk writing half an hour.
Mr.. Hyatt lscreaming).-Win the
Court be trihed with by such balder-
| dash?
Counsel for Defense.-Now you keep
still, have the floor.
Mr.. Hyatt (still screaming).- II claim
the protection of the Court.
The Court indignantly, after taking
a fresh chaw of tobaccol:-f you don't
stop your quarrelling I'll commit the
whole of you.
Counsel for Defense Throwing down
$50 note).-I'l bet your Honor fifty
dollars that you can't draw up COM
mitment.
The Court with great indignation).-
I'll bet you I can. Here his Honor
went down into his pockets.
Counsel for Defense.-Put up your
| money.
The Court (eagerly).-rn give you my
note. I haven't got enough money
with me.
- COuQS61 1Or D0I0nSe-l1I Del you $ZO
more that you can't draw note with
out the assistance of the Clerk. You
talk about committing anybody 1 am
| Justice of the Peace for this county as
well as you, and with all due reverence
for the Court, if you don't treat me
with respect, I'll commit you.
The Court dumping to its feet)-I'n
put you out Of this Court if you give me
any more of your impudence.
Counsel for Defense-You amt able
to put me out.
Mr.. Hyatt (almost crying)-I never
saw such disgraceful proceedings.
Here a constable grew hungry, and
said he wanted to go to dinner, where
upon the Court adjourned.
A Memphis Romance.