davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
AN INGENIOUS INSTRUMENT.

Droz, a mechanic of Geneva, pro-
duced a clock which eXcelled all
others in ingenuity. On it were
seated negro, shepherd and a
dog. When the clock struck, the
shepherd played six tunes on his
flute, and the dog approached and
fawned upon him. This wonderful
machine was exhibited to the King
of Spain, who was greatly delight
ed with it.
"The gentleness of my dog" said
Droz, sis his least merit. If your
Majesty touch one of the apples
which you see in the shepherd s
basket, you will admire the ami
mails fidelity"
The King took an apple. and the
dog flew at his hand barking so
loud that the Kings dog, which
was in the room, began to bark
also. At this the courtiers, not
doubling that it was an affair OF
witchcraft, hastily left tbs room,
crossing themselves as they depart
ed. Having desired the Minister
of Marine (the only one who ven
tured to remain) to ask the negro
what o'clock it was, the Minister
did SO, but obtained no reply.
Droz then observed that the negro
had not yet learned Spanish, upon
which the question was repeated in
French, when the black Immediate
ly answered him. AT this prodigy
the firmness of the Minister also
forsook him, and he retreated pre-
cinifafelv DECLARING that it ,nust he
the work of a supernatural being.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
CASTING BREAD UPON THE WATERS.
The following story comes from
KentucEu.

The following story comes from
Kentucky:
About twenty-five years ago a
young man from Kentucky took a
horseback ride to Virginia, where
his father came from, and on his
way he met a man and his family
removing West, who were so poor
as to be almost reduced to starvation.
He had compassion on the wretched
group, and gave them a twenty dol
lar bill with which to reach their
journeys end. In about fifteen
years the young man received let
ter from the man he had befriended,
saying he was a prosperous mer-
chant in Southern Kentucky, and
enclosing twenty-dOllar bill to pay
his loan. After another ten years,
which included the great rebellion
and its termination, he was elected
to the lower House of the Kentucky
Legislature, and, being a man of
talent and influence, was chosen
Speaker, in the contest for which
he noticed that a stranger, and one
of the other party, was his strongest
supporter. His curiosity was arous-
Gu ny lAIS duO uc dSkSu LuO udu 3
motive, as he never had, to his
knowledge, seen him before. "Sir,"
replied the member, ''you will re-
call, when l mention it, little scene
that occurred when you were a boy
on your way to Virginia. 1t was
you that saved my wife from star
vation. She told me time and again,
that never did q morsal of food taste
so sweet, so unutterably delicious
as that you gave them. She was
just six years old at that time, but
when she saw your name during
the late canvass, among the promi-
nent, probable candidates for the
Speakership, she laid down the law
as to how was to vote. This is
all. Neither she, nor her father and
mother, brother and sisters, nor
myself, can ever forget you"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
ELEPHANTISE DENTISTRY.

One of the most singular opera
lions in dentistry ever heard OF was
the removal of q large excrescence
on the back tooth of an elephant,
which had grown into the poor
brute's cheek, and almost prevented
his feeding. One of the keepers
volunteered to remove it. He got
good thick log of wood, and made
hole through 1t large enough for
his arm to pass. Outside he cover
ed it all over with nails, leaving
about quarter of an inch OF each
sticking out of the wood. The eie-
plant was made to lie down and
fastened with hobbies, while the log
thus prepared was placed In his
mouth like a bit, and bound with
ropes across his neck. TweutySor
thirty persons sat upon his head aud
trunk (if these be kept down an ele-
plant cannot rise from his side),
and the operator introduced his arm
through the hole and began to saw
of the protuberance. He took sew
eral hours to effect it, the elephant
after awhile lying perfectly still,
with the expression of a martyr In
his upturned eye. The piece sawn
of Yves as large as ones fist /; and
the animal got perfectly well very
: soon afterwards.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
A CHINESE SYNDICATE.

They have had Syndicate in Chi
ma which for dexterity, almost equal
that of last September in this coun-
try. The Government of China has
had a monopoly of the salt business.
1t permits only the production of q
limited amount. which is sold only
by persons licensed to do SO by the
Government. Recently, some bro
kers proposed a new scheme. This
was to limit the privilege of making
salt to eighty persons in the whole
Empire. These eighty were to be
selected by lottery, and each person
seeking a chance had to deposis
81 800, with the Government. One
thousand persons put mp the money,
and $4,000 was deposited in the
Imperial Treasury. But the Gov
eminent has never had time since
then to draw forth the names of the
eighty fortunate salt-makers, and
the money remains In the Treasury,
In the United States, the Syndicate
manages things different. 1t gets
three months interest on $50, CO.
600, of which it retains possession,
and induces the Secretary to believe
he made the most brilliant and sue
cessful financial operation known
in modern times.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
TO OBTAIN LIGHT WITHOUT MATCHES

The following continuance for OBJ
tanning light instantaneously with
out the use of matches and the con-
sequent danger of setting things on
fire is used by the watchmen of Par
is in all magazines where explosive
or inflammable materials are stored.
Take an ob1ong vial of the whitest
and clearest glass, put in it piece
of phosphorus about the size of a
pea, upon which pour some olive
oil, heated to the boiling point, fill
ing the vial about one-third full, and
then seal the vial Theoretically, To
use it, remove the cork and allow
the air to enter the vial, and then
recork it. The whole empty space
in the bottle will then become lum-
inous, and the light obtained will be
equal to that of a lamp. AS soon
as the light grows weak its power
can be increased by opening the vi
al and allowing fresh air to enter.
In winter it is sometimes necessary
to heat the vial between the hands
to increase the fluidity of the oil.
Thus prepared the vial may be used
for six months.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
AyIcrIN OF MISPLACED CONFIDENCE

4 San Francisco gentleman re-
Gently visited a dentist for the pur
pose of willing away half-hour
or so, and while there, lady came
in with little girl, wanting a tooth
or two drawn for the latter. The
child cried when placed in the chair,
and declared that she would not
have her teeth attended to unless
the strange gentleman would have
a tooth drawn first, and to please the
little patient he took her place with
wink at the doctor. The latter
took two or three instruments,
while the gentleman reciined in
the chair smilingly gazing at the
ceiliRg for the assurance OF the
watching child, and, after softly
poking at two or three teeth, to the
horror Ofthe obliging gentleman he
commenced boring into his jaw
where a tooth had once been ex-
tracted, and, before he could offer a
protest, a tremendous wrench
brought out large root, which the
doctor held up TO the child with q
diabolical grin on his face. The
gentleman rolled of the chair, and
with an expression of unutterabie
pain in his countenance, gazed &
moment reproachfnlly al his friend
and left the Office. The little ont
did not seem TO be greatly encour,
aged by the exhibition.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
A WONDERFUL FREAK OF NATURE.
A Man with Three APmS-There is no
Visible DefOFmity - He Possesses
Great Muscular POwer-What he says
of Himself

Among the passengers on the train
bound south last evening was man
born and raised in the county of Os-
togo, New York. His name is Will
liam Jacobs. He prides himself on
three well developed arms and
hands, the member extraordinary
having grown above the right Shout
der blade.
1t hangs suspended down the
back, and can be raised and lowered
at will. In length it is shorter than
the arms proper, but possesses eX-
taaordinary muscle, which he dis
plays whenever Occasion demands
it. No person passing through a
railroad car, or meeting him upon
the street, would observe any de-
formity, but after becoming cogni-
zant of this singular case, would
observe peculiar fit of his coat.
He states that he has often been
questioned as to why he does not
place himself upon exhibition, or
become one of Barnum's permanent
attractions. His inYariable reply is
that he is averse to public exhibit
tions. His father being wealthy
farmer, he had always preferred to
remain at home, and was the most
active and profitable of farmers
help. He would assist in loading
lay, and at the same time hold Sc
curely the horses reins. On sever
al occasions he came near breaking
this unnatural member by sudden
falls, and at one time suffered the
pangs of full sized felon upon the
forefinger.
On one occasion, when about
eighteen, the village boys thought
they would have a little sport at
''three arms expense, and COM
menced system of blackguardism,
followed by bold attacks upon his
person. FoTbearance ceased to be a
virtue, and throwing off his loose
garments he went at them in true
pugilistic style, arm number three
performing its duty nobly, and ap-
parently outrivaling numbers one
and two. At the emil of the skir-
mish, six PROSTATE villagers told
what a fierce opponent they had
met. EThree arms" gained motto.
riety, and never afterward was per.
secuted on account of his deformity
At the outbreak of the rebellion hG
| Joined New York regiment, and
so distinguished himself by bravery
that he was finally promoted to cap
tain, aud ranked as the best drill
officer of the regiment to which hi
was attached. At the close of thu
war he returned to the farm, anC
has since remained there. He i
now en- route for the South, to visi
sister somewhere in the interio
of North Carolina. 1t may be
query with some how he could us
his arm with the proper clothin!
upon his body. All his garment
intended for laboring suits are S
made as to open upon the back, an
closed by buttoning, like q child
apron. He is truly wonder.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
KANSAS.

Last Saturday, Morris county vo-
ted on the question of transferring
the county stock in the NJ. *. 81 Il.
railroad TO the Kaw Valley a.
Southwestern company, and the
project was carried by n majority
of about 200.
Rev. Mr.. Nowry ofNeosho Falls,
is minus three fingers on account of
a circular saw.
The Lawrence Tribune very prop
erlY wants to see a colored delegate
go to the national convention from
Kansas.
Another span of the raiIro ad
bridge across the Missouri river at
Leavenworth was successfully COM
pleted Tuesday. Only one spa n
more is to be completed, and the
iron is there.
The senate committee on Indian
affairs has agreed to report a bill
allowing settlers on the Usage lands
one years extra time in which to
pay for their homes, on condition
that they pay ten per cent. interest
on the amount due the government.
The Lawrence street railway car
ried 1900 passengers in January.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
VOLUME Is,
FOOTSTEPS.

FOOTSTEPS.
A ceaseless procession of human feet,
Passes below in the street;
waking early, 1 find II begun,
The sound is with me all the day.;
And its weary measure Is trodden still,
When in slumber's boat drift away.
Shuffiing, marching, dragging, tripping.
springing, tramping, numbering, skip
ping;
Eagerly bounding, or falteringly slow,
Loudly busy, or YEARLY low;
Now light, to a whistIed tune so sweet,
Now humping eanc. with aged feet
Now two together keep time most true,
Then limp, or crutch-tap, tells OF "'the
blue;"
Mixed with merry laughter, girls feet
pat by, l
Or pause for '.farcwells'' on some door
step nigh;
stumbling, and chasing, and hopping,
come boys,
With Enthusiastically healthy noise.
There are morning steps, full OF hope and
pride,
Steps weary and slow at evening tide;
The sauntering slide Of the languid belle,
The postman's quick tread we know so
wells;
PoIicemaA's tramp, and the beggar's
crawl,
Baby's trit-trot-I know them all.
And my heart is full OF pity and love,
As listening sit In my room above;
And, thrilling, think how the sad and the
gay,
The thoughtless, the weary, the young,
and the gray,
Are steadily, surely, all tending one way;
so they north, go they south, to the east.
or the west,
They are all "moving ON TO the final rest,
Some soon, and some late, as the Father
sees best. At.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
FROM GREENWOOD COUNTY.
ELLIS VALLEY, Feb. %, 1872.

ELLIS VALLEY, Feb. %, 1872.
Hurrah for Ellis Valley! Only
one year old and to have a railroad.
The Burlington and Eureka route is
to be resarveyed, the former survey
haYing been done by interested par
ties, snd runs away south of the
proper line, through the toughest
land in these parts. The route is TO
START BROM BURLINGTON,
up Rock creek, almost due west. run
IA miles up the north. side of Big
creek to section 4, township p,
range -. Here there should be side
tracks to the coal mines, which can
supply all the the country. The
State Geologist says there are three
veins. One, to feet from the
surface, has been worked for some
time. Another is three feet thick,
and the deepest one five feet thick.
From that point the route runs 6 or
Z miles in a southwesterly direction
through a natural valley to the YER
digris, and thence southwest. over
as good land for a railroad as there
is in the State. We hear that the
company has ordered the survey.
OUR VALLEY
is still going ahead. Since my last
letter two houses have been put up,
and we are to have apostoffice. We
want now a blacksmith shop, and
are arranging to get the tools, but
want a man who can put plows in
shape to turn the sod over. These
are the names of
THE PRESENT RESIDENTS.
j. w. Ellis, Abram Childers, Brit
Ellis, r. B. Fletcher, B. Horton, L.
Fletcher, j. Minick, B. Pane, VIM.
Cupp, NJ. Nc Cullough, B. McCul-
Tough, VIM. Petty, and Mr.. Foster.
j. w. ELLIS.
Headquarters, Ellis Valley, sec. 6,
tip. Is, range u.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
THE CHICAGO RELIEF FuND-HOW 1T
is Used.

The last report of the Chicago re-
lief and aid society to the common
council of that city, presented on the
9th of last month and just published,
makes moro appreciative showing
than the previous one, which was
full of apparent errors. From this
statement it appears that the total
cash receipts to January 9th amount
to $685., 700 rs, aud the disburse-
ments to 2,04l, 43l, 0j. The balance
on hand February Sd was 81, 3I4, 269
20. Owing TO the continued dona-
tons, and the prevalence of twenty
days of mild weather, the society is
enabled to report that their resouces
will meet the wants of the present
winter. BY "resources" is meant
not only what has been received,
but the various sums which are held
in different cities throughout the
country, subject to the order of the
committee. At the date of the re-
port there were 62o5 families receiv-
ing general relief, such as food, fuel
and clio thing. OF these, 3,Sl0 are
abled-bodied, 2,37S are widows
and deserted persons, and 3,7O7 are
sick, aged and infirm. The table in
dicating the occupation of these per-
sons shows that the largest number
of beneficiaries are common labor
ers, of whom there are 1857, and
the next largest the carpenters, who
| number 2l3, the shoemakers, OF
whom there are 1l9, and the washer
women, 1j7, follow in the list. The
nationalities of those who receive
aid show that the largest class is
Germans, of whom there are 3.5I3
aud the next largest Irish, number.
ing 3,31I. OF Americans there are
9S2, and of Scandinavians 9lS
While it is true that some are pro
viding for themselves who have
hitherto received aid, the number o
that class, however, is more thar
equaled by families returning from
the country. st. Louis is credited
with donations amounting in tn,
aggregate to $4,000, of which
little over $4,000 in cash was sen
10 the relief society, and the res
disbursed through other channels
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
THE ROCHESTER, RIOT.

A correspondent of the New
York Sun has interviewed the ne
gro Howard, who came so near be-
ing hanged by the impulsive people
of Rochester: "He now strenuous
ly denies his guilt, and says he was
only induced to plead guilty to save
his life. He says the district attor-
ney told him if he didn't admit the
crime he would withdraw all pro-
lection, and leave him to the mercy
of the mob. The fact that the au-
thorities were more frightened than
the negro, and that they brought
him in court i IL masquerade, i. G.,
his face powdered and q wig on his
head, would seem to indicate that
there was much ground for the cul-
prit's fears. He will unquestion-
ably have his case re-opened, or re.
ceive pardon in few years. The
indecent haste with which every
proceeding in his case was conduct
ed is enough of itself 10 insure one
or the other benefit"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
NUMBER g.
HASH.

Knight of the Enthusiastically
Too much whisky will make a
rye face for you.
Do ladies obtain bargains when
they get worsted:
To what color does a logging
change a boys completion 1t
makes him yell o.
Husband, if an honest man is
Gods noblest work, what is an hon
est woman ?, ellis rarest," dear was
the uncivil reply.
Josh Billings says: don't reck-
oleckt now of ever hearing ov two
dogs fighting unless there was a
man or two around"
a woman lecturer says woman's
sphere is DO unded on the north by
her husband, on the east by her ba-
by, on the south by her mother-iu-
law. and on the west by her maiden
aunt.
Hungry Boarder-sSome more
bread, If you please !; 1 always eat a
good deal of bread with my meat. y
Sarcastic Landlady-"So see, sir :;
likewise a good deal of meat with
your bread!"
A booty individual at a party
Thursday evening, succeeded in
Disgusting his condition until the
apples were brought around. When
he saw them his emotions overeame
him. "What.' he exclaimed, CAP
pies at this season Are they
ripe :-Danbury News.
Madam" said a cross-tempered
physician TO n patient, ''if women
were admitted to paradise their
tongues would make it purgatory.'
and some physicians, if allowed to
practice there, replied the lady,
would make it desert"
Thepen may be nightier than the
sword, but if you take two swords
and riVit them togeather near the
center you will find that in MANY
newspaper offices they are far
mightier than the pen, as they have
to do four-fifths of the work.
-Danbury News.
The Norwich Bulletin has the fol-,
lowing: The other evening a
gentleman gave bootblack a five
doilar piece, installing it in the
dark for n cent. The boy discoy-
cred the error at once. What did the
noble little fellow do? Quietly mt
it in his pocket and say nothing?
No; spurred by better impulse, he
called all his comrads, and gener-
ousiy spent every cent Oft in D ca
nuts and lemon beer"
Sneezing is delightful, but in
many cases it is very much out of
place the most certain and avail
able method of forestalling a sneeze,
without attracting attention, Is to
press the back of the half-bent fore
finger between the upper lip and
front teeth, up against the partition
of the nostrlls. 1t will never fail.
if not put off until the sneeze has
got a start.
Judge Cham bcrs, of the Belmon
county Pa.) Common Pleas, is an
"old bachelor At party i'll st.
Clairsvilie, the other evening, a
young lady was standing in a
draught when the Judge stepped up
and remarked: "Miss-, | will
protect you from the draught with
my person" She replied 800 YOU
promise always thus to guard and
protect me - The Judge was for a
moment nonplussed, but finally sue
ceeded in saying F" Y GU must ask my
mother" If the old lady is alive he
is n goner; if not he is safe.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23

Wanted, man-to elope with my
wife. He must be a man of cour-
age, and strong as an OK. He rcust
be one with healthful constitution,
and able to do with little sleep. A
sailor would do best, one who is ac-
customed to big blows. Ny wife
has many good points-for man
who can appreciate them; can't.
She talks faster than lightning can
travel, and louder than a railroad
whistle can scream. She doesn't
care much for the amenities, but is
very powerful on the acerbities of
life. She would be a good assist
ant in a vinegar factory, she is SO
sour, and would be noble compan-
ion TO q man living in a country
where there are plenty of bears,
she's so powerful on hugging. To
any man who will entice my wife
to elope with him, I will pay $50
aud the expense of the elopement.
Should my blessing be considered
of auy consequence I'll throw 1t in.
For further particulars apply to
HENRY JINKs.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23

A French paper, speaking of
courts of law in the United States
says: SIN winter it is an every day
matter to see the Judge and the ju-
rors remove their socks and hang
them to dry by the heater Of the
court room. Some go so far as to
pare their bufiions In public, and an
objection sonce being made by an
oyer fastidious lawyer, the Jadge
replied sternly, I call the counsel
to order and to the respect he owes
to justice; he will mind his own bu-
siness, and the Judge TRANQUILITY fin
ished his little operation of orthop-
ody. Another French publication
announces that stin New York, the
political society called sTammany'
has been dispersed by the police,
and its principal officers arrested.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23

Wilmington, viii county, Ills,
has a bearded lady, of whom the
Joliet Republican says: "She is 81
years old, born in the State of
Maine, has shaved 70: Is years, aud
weighs $50 pounds. She is short in
stature and is married TO a Mr.. Jack
man. She wears a beautiful NOUS
tache and chin whiskers, black as
coal. Mrs. Jackman is a very intel
ligent woman, and is not at all
ashamed OF her whiskers."
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23

SOME WEATHER.-A telegram
says:
CHICAGO, Feb. IA special from
Sioux City says a terrible storm
ragged in that section on Monday
afternoon and night. The weather
was warm and pleasant until two
O'Clock in the afternoon, when the
storm burst in great fury, and the
wind blew an icy hurricane. 1t is
feared that the suffering in the
country has been awful.
Mr.. Samuel Ellison, living seven
miles out of the city, was found five
miles out this morning, frozen to
death. Other deaths are reported.
All the trains on this division OF
the Illinois Central Railroad, are
showed in. The weather is intense
Iy cold, the thermometer this NOR.
ming being 1S9 below zero. Owing
TO the prostration of telegraphiC
lines by the storm, nothing is re-
ported of the freezing of Spotted
Tail and his band, but the story is
generally credited here.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23

The Boston Bulletin has the fol-
lowing valuable mortuary list /;
''ATethusaleh died of liver COM
complaint. Lots wife of salt
rheum. Absalom fell a wig-time
to hairysipelas. Goliah died of the
stone. Hannah of the drop-sy.
Nebuchadnezzar of too much vege-
table diet, leaving Mrs. N. grass
widow. John Bunyan, troubled
by corns, took his pill grimly, and
progressed. Desdemona also took
pillow. Samson was killed by a
pillar, too. Montgolfier was (s) pill
ed out of a balloon. Julius Caesar
was (s) killed in war. John Rogers
died of an oyerdone steak. Romeo
died of heart disease. Governor
Hoffman dyed his mustache. Arte-
mus Ward was joked to death.
Napoleon the Great was crushed by
a rock. Napoleon the Less fell
from Sedan. Montezuma died of
taking arrow-root. Louis XVI,
died under an amputation (of the
head.) Old Parr died of par alysis.
Joe Miller of O light tumor. Red
Jacket died of whooping cough.
Tecumseh of scalp disease.