Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-05-31
French Manners.

French system OF manners II, that 1t tac-
lily lays down the principle that all per-
sons meeting in the same house know
each other, without the formality Of in
PRODUCTION. Any man may ask any girl
to dance, or speak to anybody, at pri-
vate party. This in no way extends to
public gatherings, where the guarantee
of supposed equality which results from
the fact of knowing the same host, does
not exist. But in drawing-rooms the
rule is absolute: everybody may speak
to everybody. This is an intelligent and
most practical custom it facilitates con-
versation; it dispels all awkwardness to-
wards your neighbor; it melts cold ma
lures it makes it possible to pass pleas
ant hour in a house where you do not
know a soul; it gives look of warmth
and unity to a room. No one is obliged
to sit gloomily and in silence between
two repelling strangers. If you want to
speak, you are sure of listener. Of
course, people are often regularly intro
duced to each other by the master or the
mistress, especially at dinner parties;
but in those cases the object is to put q
name upon them, not to authorize them
to converse; for that act no permission
is required. The French have such
need of talk, and generally they talk so
we'll, that it is easy to understand how
this rule grew up; but the explanation
should not be limited to that one cause.
Sociableness is quite as real necessity
for them as chatter is; and the first con-
dition of its practice is that all needless
barriers should be suppressed between
persons of the same society SO, for this
reason, too, liberty of acquaintance has
been adopted indoors. Its effect ON man
ners, strictly so called, is to polish them
still further; for though you have the
indisputable right to begin conversa-
ton with lady next to you, whom You
have never seen before, you can only do
so on condition of employing all the
most respectful shades of attitude and
language you cannot jump into intima-
cy with her, and can profit by her pres
ence provided you show yourself to be
well worthy of it. Between men these
obligations are naturally less strict;
though they continue to exist in great
degree, and involve the use of courteous
forms, and of much more ceremony than
is necessary between previous friends.
The principle which temporarily equal
ICES all the people who are united under
the same roof has other applications be-
sides this o6e. 1t is a consequence Of
the selfsame theory which obliges men
to raise their hats when they enter rail-
way carriage, or an omnibus, or wait
ing-room, or shop, or any covered place
where they find other people. 1t is the
same feeling which leads them to bow
to every lady they may en-
counter upon staircase and, if she does
not return the courtesy, you may be sure
from that single fact she is not French
woman. These acts, and others like
them, are very civilizing; they add
much grace to life /; they induce external
and respect for others.
French children are generally we'll man.
cred; they are seldom rough or bolster
ouo thar a m net oonstont oon+ooA Al
their mothers friends gives them from
their babyhood, a glimmering of the
sort of voice and attitude which ought
to be adopted before strangers. There
are exceptions in any quantity vulgar
parents usually make vulgar offspring,
but the mass of boys and girls-partic-
ularly the laIter-are fairly well behav-
ed, and do not show loutishness or stupid
ity when spoken to. One of the great
causes of the ease with which, as whole
the French act towards each other, lies
in this early training. A boy of ten
knows perfectly that if his father meets
a lady In the street, and stops to speak
to her, his own duty is to take his hat off
and to stand bareheaded. He knows
that it would be rude to shake hands
with anybody, man or woman, without
uncovering; his mother tells him. his
father sets him the example, so it seems
quite natural to him; he does it simply,
without mauuaise honte. In the same
way, he learns to be cool and self collect
ed, even if anything occurs which draws
attention to him in a crowd. If he
drops his book at church, and has to
leave his place to pick it up, he does not
blush; he sees no reason why he should.
The girls do not giggle and look foolish
if their hair comes down, or their hat
falls off; they re-arrange themselves with
perfect calm and self-possession, utterly
unconscious that any one is looking at
them, and Indifferent if they know it.
From these early habits they grow up to
regard all ordinary movements as being
in public. This is why a