Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1872-06-27
JOSH BILLINGS
Our Oldest HuhabEtants-Two OF
Them

, John Baseomb IL now living in Coo
Hollow, Raccoon CO., State ov Iowa.
: lie il 1876 years old, and kan read fin
, print by moonlight 33 feet oph.
. He remembers Gen. Washington fns
rate, and once lent him O dollars ten bu,
| pair oy kaff skin boots with.
He fit in the revolushun, also in tn,
war ov 1912, likewise in the late melee
and says he won't take sass now from enn,
man living.
He iz a hard shell babtiss by religion
and says he will die Cor his religion.
| He was konverted $50 years ago, and
thinks the hard-shell il the tufist religion
thare iz for every day wear. He sez that
one hard she'll babtist Keen do more hard
work on the same vittles during hot day
than 10 episkopalites.
He has alwus used plug tobakko from
a child. and sez he lernt how teu chew by
watching COW chew her cud.
He haz never drunk any Intoxicating
Ticker but whisky, and sez that no other
is healthy. He thinks 3 horns day IL
enuff for helth.
He has alwus voted the demokratik
ticket for the last 10 years, and walked
last fall III sloppy weather, 18 miles, to
vote for Jim Buchanan
| He hain't never seen railroad yet, nor
wimmin's rite convenshun.
His greatest desire, he tells me, IL ten
see Gen. jackson, and seq that be shall go
next year down teu Tennessee teu see
him.
He fatted a hog last year, with hiz own
hands that weighed 636 pounds after it
waz drest and we'll dried out. He il very
cheerful, and he won dollars on the
weight ov one ov the deakons of the hard
she'll church. He declares this teu be
one ov the proudest acksidents ov his life,
for the deakon waz known far and near az
a tite kuss.
He tells me that for 90 years he haz
went teu bed at just II minutes after 8,
and has arozen at precisely 3 o'clock the
next day.
The first thing he duz in the morning
| is teu take short drink, about inches,
and then for an hour before breakfast be
reads the almanax Y aciH here state that
it IL &c Josh Billings Farmers Almdnaa'
that he reads)
I asked him hiz opinyun ov gin and
milk az fertilizer He pronounced it
bogus, and sed that the good old hard she'll
drink, sul,iskcg unadorpcd, waz the only
| speerits that never went bak on man.
Hiz habits are simple. For breakfast
he generally ct four slices of psalt pork,
bfied pertatoze, couple ov sassagis. 5 hot
bisskit, a dozen 'ov hard billed eggs, 3
kups of rhye cofe, small plate ov slap
lax, some phew pickles. and cold cabbage
! and v;aegar, if thare waz emmy left from
yesterdays dinner.
Hiz dinner waz always lite one, and he
seldom ct cnnything but sum billed NUT
ton, sum horned beef. sum kold ham, and
sum injun pudden teu top oph with.
His suppers were mere nothing. and
consisted simply oy kold psalt pork, kOld
horned beef, .kold billed mutton, and, once
in a CRATE while. phew slices ov kold
ham, with mustard and hoss reddish.
examined hiz he'd and found that he
had all the usual bumps in a remarkable
state of preservashun.
He has a good ear for musk, and whis-
selled me Yankee Doodle, with varia-
shuns.
I. He waz born Alumaker, but hasn't
dun ennything at the trade for the last l25
wears. He enjoys the best ov health, but
lust now he IL teething, which he tells me
is his 7th sett.
lie iz a firm believer in the Darwin
theory, and sez he used to hear hiz grate-
grandfather tell ov race ov men sum-
WHARF down on the coast ov Florida, who
had sum little ofthe kaudle appendix still
remaining.
On the subject ov marriage hiz he'd
seems teu be ded level. He sed '.that he
had been married Is times, and proposed
again teu) Hannah Campbell a lady in the
ma berhood, who was % years old.
( I asked him what he thought biz chances
were for obtaining, the lady's hand, and
he sed sit lays between him and one The
odore. Whitney, travelling korn doctor"
and added s.if Whitney don't look out he
would enlarge his head for him.
Upon mi askin him what he attributed
his immense life and vigor to, he sed, in
a klear and distinct voice:
ITO small horns ov whisky day, be-
leaving in the hard shell doktering, and
voting unanimusly the demokratik ticket
1 thankt him very much for the infor-
maslnn he had given me ov himself, and
asked him if he had emmy abjekshun to mi
putting it into print. and he manifested
great desire that should do so, not for
getting to make special menshun ov what
he had sed about erlarging Whitney's he'd
for him. for he thought that would kiear
him out ov the naborhood.
I left John Bascomb after a deliteful
90 fo,r ho,,rs. and thouoht over ten
myself. if thare waz emmy two rules for
long life that had been thus far diskover-
ed that was alike.
The more thought ov this, the more j
wished could cum akrost Methuseler for
a feu minnitts, and hear him tell how he
MANAGED.
ELIZABETH MEACHEM.
Lib Meachem (as she IL famillary called
in the township WHARF she resides) IL one
oy the rarest gems ov extenuated mortal
ity that has ever been mi blessed LUX teu
enkeunter. ~
She IL not so old az Basconlb bi about
two years, being about 194 years old.
Next to Lots wife she liz the best pre-
served woman the world kontains.
: Preached her place ov residence early
in, the morning, and in one minnit after
told her mi buzzness her tongue mad
phull he'd oy steam Cd, and for three hours
it run like o stream oy, quicksilver down
an inklined plain. -
/ asked her thousand questsons at
least, but not one of them did she answer,
but kept talking all the time faster than
Pochahontas kan pace down hill ten sad