Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-01-11
THE TWO TROMBONES.

Mr.. WHIFFLEs-the respected parent
of our hero, Mr.. Adolphus Whiffles-was
an opulent Berkshire farmer, who, before
retiring from his business and leaving it
to his son, fancied that visit to the great
metropolis would have the effect of sharp
ening the wits of that amIable youth, an
operation of which that young gentleman
stood greatly in need The son jumped
at the idea, especially when he learned he
was to set forth on his travels alone
With the parental blessing, and his purse
well filled, Mr. Whites, junior, duly ar
rived in London and installed himself in
economical quarters in Savoy Street,
Strand
The theatres, of course, occupied
large share of Mr.. Whiffle's attentions
during his stay in London, and the neigh
borhood of stage-doors afforded him
vast amount of satisfaction. The sight
of professionals in their every day cos
tune was to him a source of great gratifi-
cation, and his delight when he made the
acquaintance of a prominent member of
the orchestra of the Royal Dash Theater
exceeded all bounds He vowed eternal
friendship for him on the spot, and there
and then ratified the agreement by enter
tanning his new acquaintance at 4ecterche
supper at the Albion. Our story opens
when Mr.. Whiffies and his companion
Mr.. O'Leary by name-had been almost
inseparables for the space of six weeks.
With pain Mr.. Whiff1es had lately Oh
served an expression of settled melan-
choly upon Mr.. O'Leary's expressive
countenance, and had resolutely deter
mined to divine the cause.
''You are ill.," said our hero one even
ing, after they had supped at the hostelry
above mentioned, and were quaffing
various "whiskys hot to promote diges-
tion.
Mr. O'Leary sighed, shook his head
sadly and emptied his glass by way of a
reply; ply. ,,,,,,, :, , :. -, -,
you have eaten too much" continued Mr..
WHITES, tenderly.
1T isn't the supper that worries me-"
observed his companion Sits the substi-
tute"
This mysterious answer puzzled Mr.
Whites. He thought it over seriously,
then gave it up in despair, and demanded
an explanation. Mr. O'Leary vigorously
pulled at his cigar, and proceeded to en-
tighten Mr. Whiffies.
1t appeared, from Mr.. O'Leary's ac-
count, that it was customary in the
Royal Dash Theater for the management
to allow various members of the orches-
ira to absent themselves, from time to
time, from their posts, in order to attend
concerts or other entertainments, on the
condition that they provided efficient
substitutes to fulfill their ordinary duties
As rule, these substitutes were not hard
to find but Mr. O'Leary confessed, with
tears in his eyes, that although he had
searched high and low, for some unac-
countable reason he could find no one able
or willing to supply his place at the thea
tire, while he was absent to fulfill most
profitable engagement he had accepted to
play at fashionable West End concert,
the ensuing evening. Without moments
hesitation Mr.. Whitfies threw himself into
the breach and proffered his services.
''Stuff p replied Mr.. O'Leary, rudely,
what do you know about music %
Mr.. Whiffies couldn't tell. He was quite
certain about what he didn't know, but
that he refrained from mentioning. There
was painful pause Mr.. O'Leary slnok-
ed silently on for some time, now and
then darting searching glance upon the
anxious face of Mr. Whites, as if he were
revolving some great scheme in the in
nermost recesses of his own mind, but as
yet scarcely saw the manner in which it
could be carried out. Suddenly
Il have it. Thanks, Whiffies, my boy
| accept your generous offer. You shall
be my substitute" said Mr.. O'Leary.
To say that Mr.. Whiffies was delighted
would but feebly express the state of his
mind. He grasped Mr.. O'Leary's hand
and shook it fervently. He trembled al
ready with excitement. His proudest hopes
were about to be realized. He would be
admitted behind the scenes OF thea
tre. Words failed to convey any
"a willing ear to Mr.. O'Leary, who pro-
ceeded to give him the necessary instruc-
tions
In the first place, Mr. O'Leary pointed
out, there were two trombone-players in the
orchestra of the Royal Dash Theatre, he
himself being one, and that for the espe-
cial guidance of Mr.. Whiff1es he would
summarily state the case as follows, pre-
missing that after the rising of the cur
Tain ON the first piece performance upon
the two tronlbones heralded tne approach
OF the villain of the piece
Further, his (Mr. O'Leary's) experience
induced him to believe that in a crowded
assembly 0ae trombone would probably
make as much noise as two; and that ali
Mr.. Whiffies had to do, after announcing
himself as Mr.. O'Leary's substitute
would be to take his seat leisurelv in thu
orchestra, and, when the curtain rose
carefully watch the proceedings Of tn.
other trombone player and initiate hi
every movement; so that, in reality, on
trombone would make all the noise, a
though apparently, taco were being played
Lastly, he advised Mr.. Whiff1es to be care