American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-11-09
GENERAL ITEMS.


WHEN the righteous die, it is the earth
that loses.
THE house that does not open TO the
poor shall open to the physician.
PERSONS who never complain of $ short
cropsn-Barbers.
If topper and quart of whisky We're
left together, which would be drunk firstf
The surest slip-nots are said to be low
ers' ties.
THERE is one thing that can always be
found-and that is fault
OoLoNG and Souchong are autumn col
ors and the girls have begun to ''teas' for
them already.
A LADY asked a gentleman how old he
was. He replied: :. What you do in every
thing What was his age2-XL.
WHY is candle-maker the worst and
most hopeless of men because all his
wicked works are brought to light.
THERE are three crowns of the law, the
priesthood, the kingship; but the crown
of good name is better than them all.
IT has been found that in nearly every
civilized country the tree that bears the
most fruit for the market is the axle-tree.
Mosr people have heard of dead wall,
but correspondent writes to say that he
has actually got a living room in his
house.
OK WOMAN WITH RED HAIR WHO
WROTE PoETRY.-Unfortunat woman
how sad is your lot! Your ringlets are
red, but your poems are not.
The reason why Figures can't lie'' is
plain. When they are not running and
mounting up. their nearest approach to
qrliesccnce is in a standing account.
"HAPPY is the country that has no his
tory" as the schoOlboy- said on being
hogged the third time for not knowing
who was Henry the Sixth's wife.-h0'ch
A FRENcHwoMAN once said that she
never loved anything. ''You loved your
children?'' suggested friend. ''When
they were little" she replied. ssAnd you
love diamonds ~ '.When they are large"
A LONDON critic speaks of Miss Sophia
Eckley, Boston poetess, as "a Christian
Heine." This is manifestly a Bowbell
transcription of the German phrase,
''(H) eine gottesfurchtige dichterinn.'
This is the time when, as the people be-
gin to start up the long unused fires,
they should look well to their chimneys,
that they are not cracked, and see that no
pipe-holes are unstopped, or filed with
combustible matter.
Tweed last year, has been found in the
River Forth. In this country many fishy
things OF great magnitude have been de-
posted in the banks of Tweed. but none
of them ever come Forth again to public
knowledge.
So general is the practice of conveying
food to the mouth by means of the knife
that an ingenious cutler. alive to the re-
quirements OF the period, has invented an
instrument which combines knife and
fork in one, thus Obviating the necessity
of using both hands at table.
He who has more learning than good
works is like tree with many branches
but few roots, which the first wind throws
on its face; whilst he whose works are
greater than his knowledge, is like tree
with many roots and fewer branches, but
which all the winds of heaven cannot up
root.
DEFINITIONS mot according to the die
dOnary).-DeputdtiOn A noun of null
titude which signifies many, but does not
signify much. MARRIAGE Harness for a
pair. Musician: A man who plays when
he works and works when he plays. Wa
ter: A clean fluid once used as a drink.
THE old genealogical puzzle which from
time to time has racked the brains of read
ers of the provincial press is realized in
the case of an elderly Intlianian who has
married the daughter of his sons wife,
thus becoming his daughter-in-law's SON
in-law, his grandson's half-brother, and
his own grandfather, &C., &c.
A YOUNG lady has Leen chosen secreta-
~ of the Chelsea, Mass, Savings Bank.
The Boston Commonwealth says that this
is the frs. instance in that State in which
lady has been elected to an office of trust
in any of its monetary institutions, and
that the trustees think they have made a
good move in the right direction.
The pupils at young ladies' boarding
school in Florida are supposed to have
thoughts diverted from worldly vanities
by summer uniform of pink. The re-
cult is that the blondes arc constantly
thinking how becoming the costume is.
and torturing the brllnettes. who, OF
course, are made to look like "perfect
rights"
A WOMAN of the period has been found
in Market street, San Francisco. She
keeps fruit store, teaches private school,
runs a sewing machine, does knitting,
pinking, and embroidery, goes out as
n nurse, and "attends ladies'" In addi-
ton TO her other accomplishments she is
3 widow, and having hunted one poor
devil out of the world with her barbarous
industry is now spreading her net for an
other.
WHEN Mr.. Chief Justice Cockburn read
his decision at the Geneva Conference he
crouched down in his chair, nearly hid be
hind a formidable pile of manuscript
which, without exaggeration, was five
inches thick. When his affirmative vote
on the case of the Alabama was announced
the spectators began to hope that he
might show a similar degree of independ
ence in the other cases. But this hope
was disappointed. The solitary g Mo- in
the case of the Florida was his one of the
Noes" in the case of the Shenandoah
was his, the other being that of Viscounl
(lfTfaiuba >,