Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-10-25
MIR. Nasty at Chappaqua.
From the Toledo Blade.l
CHAPPAQUA,
(Which is in the state of Moo York;
dot II 1870

From the Toledo Bladel
CHAPPAoUA,
| (Which is in the state of Moo York;
| Oct II, 1872.
| 1t wuz mite at Chappaqua. The wild wind
| sighed mournfully about the dreary house and
| blew chill and sad among the denuded branches
NV the fallen trees witch the philosopher and
| sage he'd cut down durin the campane. (Ez be
| he'd TO be alluz surprised cuttn down tree, he
| didn't NV course hev time to trim EN- all The
| cold autumnal rain wuz falliu in a melancholy
/ drizzle, and the frost kings damp and icy flu
| ger he'd fetched the famous spring witch it wuz
| Theoretically sealin Nv. For witch, thank
heaven. Eff that spring could be triZ up so that
| my bowels, witch requires suthin heatin, shood
never be persekooted no more with its accused
| waters shood be happy. Inside the house we
| sOt. We had gathered to iolllfy over our eX-
pected triumph in Ohio, lnjiany and Pennsyl-
vany. We had reserved the news and wuz jolli-
| fyin. There wuz the great and good Greeley
hIsself there wuz Tilton Nv the curly locks, and
| Reid NV the crafty face, there wuz Cochrane and
| Mcclure, and leadin men NV Pennsylvany, NV
the south and west.
We wuz jollyfyin! Down the furrowed cheek
NV each, the pensye tear wuz rOllin, and each
wuz usin his pOckit Handkerchief at his eyes,
| probably to conceal his joy.
We sot long in silence a studyin the returns.
Then the great and good Greeley spoke. He re-
ioiced over the victory he he'd achieved in the
three states, tho he would say in candor that
the victory wuzn't ez complete ez he Good bev
wished. But Their wuZ evry coz for congratu-
lashen and rejocin. The majority agin us in
| Ohio wuz only 10000. Now there is, in round
numbers, 1000 election precincts in that state,
| and eff only five republicans in each change
| from the tyrant Grant to me, why carry it.
| Likewise so in PennsylYany and Ingiany. The
ishoo is now narrowed to the Two, and who kin
| doubt the result? Is not that comfort enuff2
The response was a most hilarious and en-
| thusiastic groan from all present.
Mr. pypriph an imDOrter from Moo York
| marked that the result in the west wIz doubt
less becoz Mr. Greeley wood persist in lettin out
| that he wuz a protectionist.
Mr.. MacgregOr NV Pennsylvania swore in
good Scotch that the result in Pennsylvany mite
be attribooted solely to the fact that he ignored
pertevkShen and WIZ a dallylu with free traders
Kernel McWeter NV Kentucky remarked
| that his abOlishunsm, witch he threw out on his
| trip, lost him his strength in southern Ohio and
| Tiffany.
| Mr.. Placid NV northern Ohio wuz certn
| that his apolOgiSn for heVin bin an abolishun-
ist at Jacksonville rolled up the fearful MAORI
ties agin him in northern Ohio and InJiany.
Capt Hoolan, late quartermaster IN the fed
era army, wuz satisfied that the aboose NV the
sojers in Pittsburg cost him the sojer vote
Major higgins Nv Virginia, late G. S. A.,
knowd that his cokettin with the federal Sojers
lost him the support NV the friends Nv the south
in three states.
To all NV witch listened and then I gave my
ez possible, we failed to achieve a decisive vic
| tory by attemptin too much-we tried to kiver
| too much ground. The great and good Horris,
under whom fondly hoped to hcv a postof1s,
is too versateeli in principle. In his writin he
| is rigid, but in principle he is veTsateel. 1t
wood be money in his pocket eff he Good reverse
| the order Ell his prinSiples wuz ez stratefor-
ward ez his method NV calm man d-n vii
lain he wood be entirely great. When a man
runs for president, and tries to consulate free
oh aV,art raslrn
rits, abolishnists, pro-Slavery men, W it'll doz-
en- other varieties huy in, he undertakes large
Job | never did win yit, and never will. Iwuz
with the deceest-that is our noble cheef-all
the way. 1t wuZ not encouragin when he WuZ
maxim a speech, say in Pittsburg, supportn
tariff to see on n bulletin board opposit the
idenukle speech he made the day afore, in Moo
jersey leavin tariff entirely to the congressional
distriks. 1t wuz not altogether a pleasant
thing at Jacksonville, when we felt it our
dooty 10 apologize for our hevin bin a
abolitionist, to hev the speeches witch we
made three days aGore in Pennsylvany denounc-
in slavery, poked into our face In short we
wuz a ridin too many horses, and the trouble
wuz, them bosses wuz all q pintin in different
dreckshens. We undertook TO sit on a dozen
different stools, and ez we are in that portion nv
our body, we amt broad enuff. 1t doesn't mat
ter to me, or to Cochrane, or 1ilton or Mcclure
With us it is a simple question NV swinnin
There is the camp NV the enemy to plumber, and
to us the method NV takin it don't matter. |
found seyral sich in evry township. The fellow
whose sole pants for post offs ez the heart
panteth for the water course, will do jest ez
did. He'll hist his hat enthusiastically for
tariff at Johnstown to-day and for free trade i'll
lliinoy tomorrow But the people don't all
want post offlses ez bad ez we do and consekent-
ly don't hist with that ease So far ez l am con-
cerned, +
Here Mr.. Greeley interrupted me- He wuz
entirely convinced that success in November
wuz aShoored. He he'd bin embarrassed in the
October election with county, deestrict and state
tickets. Now that it is redoosed to strate ishoe
between me and Grant, it is different. | shell 90
into the canvass myself. | shell accept invita-
shens to address agricultooral societies. and shell
make personal toor-
"Don'tW exclaimed the entire assembaee.
THROWN themselves on their knees before him ez
one man, with tears a streamin down their
cheeks. DON'T
"Sirp sed !, sternly (for felt the time he'd
come for plain :alk), "et You will go, NV course
| you must. There is nothing in the constitushn
| Nv the Yoonited States that prevents man from
maxim fool NV hiSself That is one Nv our
reserved rites. But, gentle sir, listen TO advice.
repeat, Don't | kin stand 1t. am an old
man, and hey but few days to linger. You are
an old man, and wot happens to you don't mat
ter. We hev neither NV us much NV life or
character TO lose. But hey pity on these young
menl Think nv Iiton and Reid, and don't carry
them any further down than possible. They kin,
it is troo, change their names and go west, bu. it
will foller EN-. Hev pity on EN-. But eff you
will go-go prepared, so that ez little damage
will be done ez possible. Cut all the TELEGRAPH
wires, so that reports NV your speeches kin by
no means be sent out. To make aShoorence
doublY shoor, leave behind two skilful burglars,
who shell destroy the mails, that reports
shell not go out in that way Kill re-
morselisly evry man yoo see with a note book
and pencil. Put yoorsef in posishen to DENY
what You hev sed, whenever it may be
deemed necessary. By SIGH thorough and radi-
less, and your speeches wood not weigh onto us
ez terrible ez did the last 700 made. Eff VOC
| persist in goin without takin them precautions,
do it; but 700 do it without me- | shell wash
my hands NV the whole bznis, and 20 back to
| the Cross Roads, where, eff the Twin amt so good,
| | commune daily with better men, | hev sed :"
The sage concooded, finally, not to go, but
| rather to trust the sober second thought NV the
/ people.
| The jig is up. ] commenst borrowin money
| this mornin NV eYry man who comes to Chap
| paqua. That presages immeiit deparcher. |
tried TO Sekoor a SCOT NV Horrises clothes, but
| the only one / found wuZ a SCOT we bought in
the spring and rubbed all over with earth, 10
wear when we were surprised diggin' in the
| garden. His chopin SCOT amt worth takin and
| his travelin soot witch wanted he wears all the
| time. shell borrer vigorously the few DAYS |
| hev left, hOpin to amass enutf to keep me thro
| the winter.
PETROLEUM V. Nasty, P. NJ,
| (Which wood like TO be postmaster, but sees no
| hope Nv it.)
A BAD MEMORY even who are cursed
| with the most treacherOuS memories generally
retain pretty accurate recollection where dol
lars are concerned. But there are exceptions TO
every rule, and curious one occurred q few
DAYS 400 i'm Paris One Madame I q Rrrn