Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-07-16
Lunch for -HaE72aOrIStS.

You may find fashion in town, but meet more
stiles in the country.
An old man said, few days ago, II began
the world with nothing, and have held my
own ever since.
suTell YOUR mistress | have torn the curtain"
said gentlemen to female domestic. Every
well, sir, mistress will remember to putt down
as rent
s'John,'' asked physicians apprentice,
ibid Mrs. Green get the medicine orderedY'
ST guess SO, replied John, 'for I saw Grape
hanging to the door-knob, this morning"
s'How much did he leave?" inquired gen.
tleman of wag, on learning of the death of a
wealthy citizen. Everything" responded the
wag, she didn't take cent with him.. !"
"a woman's greatest enemy is the looking
glass" said husband to his wife, who was ad-
iniriug herself in mirror while he was slipping
his wine.
''That may be, she retorted. ''but it does
not cause her and her children half SO much
woe as her husbands wine-glass does.
''What is your business?" asked judge of a
call me ocismith when C did sV YOU last
work at the trade p ''Last night, when heard
the call for the police, and [ made bolt for the
door,"
A wag says, that in journeyiDg lately he was
put into an omnibus with dozen persons, Of
whom he did not know single one. Turning
a corner, shortly AFTER however, the omnibus
was upset, land them" said he, ~ found them
all out
A lay woman, a milliner by trade but, never
theless, favorite exhorter at the evening meet
ings of the elect, thus gives her reasons for her
belle belief in the existence of a Supreme Being
Sisters, am just as confident that there is a
God as | am that there are bonnets in Paris :
and that know for certain, as [ yesterday re-
+ celved from there choice assortment of the
most fashionable styles, which will trim with
more taste and sell lower than any miliner in
the city,
A funny man in Lafayette, Ind, played a
joke On his landlady by marking his face and
pretending to have the small Lox but when he
was hustled out Of the house and narrowly es-
capped being knocked down by his new trunk
and other personal effects as they descended to
the sidewalk, from the second story window,
his enjoyment of the thing was not immoderate.
ToBAcCo.-By a Small Boy-Tobacco
grows something like cabbages, but never saw
none Of it boiled, although have eaten boiled
cabbages and vinegar on it, and have heard
men say that cigars that was given to them on
election day for nothing was cabbage leaves
Tobacco stores are mostly kept by wooden In
7 juns, who stand at the door and try to fool lit
tie boys by offering them bunch of cigars
which is glued into the Inj uns hands, and is
made of wood also. Hogs do not like tobacco
neither do |. | tried to smoke a cigar once,
and it made me feel like EPSON salts. Tobac-
co was invented by man named Walter Raj
eigh. When the people first saw him smok inc
they were frightened, My sister Nancy is a
girl. | don't know whether she likes tobacco
or not. There is young man named Leroy
who comes to see her. He was standing on the
steps one night, and had a cigar in his mouth.
and he said he didn't knowas she would like it,
and she said: Leroy, the perfume is agree
able" But when big brother Tom lighted his
pipe, Nancy said Get out of the house. Won
horrid creature. The smell of tobacco makes
me- siok - ~