The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-08-01


generous feast provided for us by our
host, and had coolly left me sleeping,
forgetting me as if 1 had been OF no ac-
count whatever.
Breathing dire vows Of vengeance, l
scrambled off the box in haste, and
without pausing to examine the state
of my toilet, rushed off toward the COM
panionway. But if 1 was .enraged at
thus being neglected, ere l reached the
staircase all my wrath had vanished
for, sitting pensively alone upon the
quarterback, beheld the object of my
hearts alteration, Miss Jennie Bird. All
thought of feasting vanished from my
mind Here was the feast of reason
and the flow of soul-in short, here was
my opportunity of putting the all-im-
portant question which was to decide
my future fate. l did not hesitate; not
being was near save ourselves; no
such felicitous occasion might present
itself again in years. Without premed-
itation or preparation rushed franti-
cally forward, and before she could
have gsahered an idea of my desperate
purpose, L had thrown myself at her feet
What meant that crimson blush
which, in a moment, dyed her neck and
cheek and brow as with flood of color ?
Did she anticipate my design, and while
preparing herself to requite my fervent
alteration, shield herself behind that
vivid signal of maidenly modesty, as if
erecting a rampant to check my too
passionate ardor? Perhaps. Neverthe-
less, there was evidently an even strong
er emotion agitating her inmost soul L
could not but perceive that something
beyond mere modesty and surprise
moved her. A strange convulsion shook
her fair form from head to foot; her
eyes seemed starting from their dilated
orbits; the blush deepened upon her
angelic face until it really seemed more
like an apopleotic congestion; and
while, with both hands, she appeared to
be stufing her lace mouchoir into her
half-opened mouth, singular, rattling
noise in her throat filed me with the
dreadful alarm that she was choking.
As l was starting to my feet, fright
ened half to death at these symptoms of
what seemed to be an approaching fit,
the sound of voices and footsteps on the
stairs behind me indicated the return of
the guests from the banquet. They
were led by Briggs-who had only left
Miss Jenny for moment while he went
to fetch her forgotten parasol-and by
the time l had attained an erect posture,
they trooped upon the deck. Imagine
my astonishment when l beheld each
one of them, Briggs foremost, start back
in alarm, stare at me wildly, and then
double up, like two foot rules, in perfect
paroxysms of laughter. turned slowly
around, gazing at each one in turn in
profound dismay, and at my movement
the storm of mirth redoubled while, to
crown my modification and distress, it
became plain to me that it was not fit,
but severe struggle to repress her own
mirth, which had caused Miss Jenny's
convulsive action.
The laughter continued, peal upon
peal, during the space of three or four
minutes. 1t was clear, thought, that
they were laughing at the joke of hav-
ing caused me to lose my dinner, and
my rage, rising higher and higher every
moment, was at the point of exploding
in some act of violence, of which, un-
doubtedly, Briggs would have felt the
weight. But at this crisis that disgust
ing individual, perhaps seeing the i'm
minence of my fury, seized me by the
arm, and with some ditficulty,on account
of his continued mirth, drew me into
the entrance of the companionway.
The interior of this structure was lined
with splendid mirrors, and as soon as l
was within it, could behold my full
length figure clearly reflected in the
shining glass.
Horror on horrors head accumulate
What was it that did behold in those
fatal mirrors? My own graceful form
transformed into the striking semblance
of gigantic Shanghai rooster Was l
dreaming? Was L under the influence
of some diabolical, magical spellY Ha !!
the Internal truth rushes on me with
the force of an avalanche. am the
victim-yes, there can be no doubt of it
the victim of circumstances and the
malevolence of that dwarf fiend in hu-
man form-Mrs. Dobb's youngest
Why dwell on that agonizing expert
ence! Let me end me tale-as he did
by the shortest possible process. Find
ing me peacefully sleeping, defenseless
and at his mercy, the little wretch had
stolen feather pillow from the cabin,
anu WIFI Ine dlu Oi convenient tdr-
bucket on deck, plastered my posterior
with layer upon layer of feathers, until
they formed huge appendage that pro-
truded more than two feet behind me,
and hung down in waving folds precise
ly like the tail of half-starved ostrich
Not content with that, he had orna-
mented my bald head with a central
row of tar and feathers, in imitation of
cock'e-comb, and when you recollect
that am tall and spare, and how l was
dressed, perhaps you can form some idea
of the picture | presented.
If you can't, I'm not going to help
you, you may be sure.
When that steamboat reached her
dock, or by what means reached my
domicile, have never known unto this
day. But this do know, that the day
before yesterday received an invita-
ton to the wedding of Miss Jennie Bird
with that odious Briggs. The best wish
l can give them is that they may be
compelled to pass their honeymoon in
the society of Mrs. Dobb's youngest
Frank LeSlies Illustrated Newspaper.
A speculative drayman at Paducah,