The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-02-08
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

NINli serN lCc-UOOu WdlbcTs-
Masked Ball-A smothered cry.
Step on an orange peel if you wish tc
make quick trip.
When may man be said to be over
grown? When he is six feet two (toO) tall
Why are our sidewalks in winter like
music? 1fyou donot c sharp you will i
fiat
The young lady with speaking eyes has
made them quite hoarse by overusing
them.
An old lady writing to her son out West
tells him to beware of bilious saloons ana
bowel alleys.
Fattery is like the usurer, who makes
small loans on short time, and demands ex-
orbitant interest"
The annual sermon before the Massa
chusetts Legislature was from the text
"Thou shalt not steal
A young girl in Fort Wayne couldn't get
her beau hand, so she contented herself
with his thumb. She did it with her little
molars.
A little girl wanted to say she had a fan
but had forgotten the name. So she de-
scribed it as a thing to brush the warm of
with"
A Long Island chicken thief attempted
to ply his avocation in the vicinity Of a
bulldog. His apothecary bill amounted to
nearly S21.
A sentimental chap intends to petition
Congress for grant to improve the chan
nels of affection, SO that henceforth the
course of true love may run smooth.
An Oriental Proverb.--You can't prevent
the bird. of sadness. from flying over your
head, but you may prevent them from stop
ping tie build their nests there.
A little girl, when asked by her mother
about suspicious little bites i'll the sides OF
dozen choice apples, answered. "Per-
haps mamma they have been frost bitten. y
Say, Jones. What's the matter with
your eye? ooh nothing, onl y my wife
said this morning. you'd better get up and
light the fire, told her to make it herselg,
that's ALL
Here's a comical advertisement: :" To the
Drapperv Trade-Wanted, young man,
to be partly outdoor and partly behind the
counter" What will be the result when
the door slams?
Aphonse (who has had an attack of the
mother-in law eviD. Parbleu, madame,
it is not re trouble Eat your daughter is my
wife, Non! 1t is because she is not or
phan when she is married to mel
A wag out west who read that dry cop
peras put into bed of ants would cause
them to leave, put some in his mother-in-
laws bed to see if she wouldn't 60. He
says she was there at last accounts.
A public man in this country was once
accused of drunkenness, and one Of his
friends was very indignant, Some one sug-
gested that public persons were always lied
about. "Oh, don't care for lies, he said,
" but the trouble with his story is, they
prove it,
A negro woman was relating her expert
ence to a gaping congregation of color, and
among other thing. she said she had been
in heaven. One of the ladies asked her
"Sister, did you see any black. in heaven?"
ooh, git out! You .'pose so in de kit
chen when | was darr'
While vender of greens in Boston was
endeavoring to dispose of his stock in trade
his poor old nag halted and refused to bulge
an inch. The driver finally commenced be-
laboriug the animal with stick, when an
old lady thrust her head out of window
and exclaimed: % have you no mercy?'
. No, ma am, replied the pedIar; " nothin'
but green's
"Here you little rascal walk up here and
give an account of yourself-where have
you been?'
After the girls, father
"Did you ever know me to do so when
was boy?"
"No, Sir; but mother did"
"My son, you had better 60 to bed
This is the speech of Sam Berkeley, a
colored gentleman of Cleveland, in accept
ing New Years present:
"GENTLUM-You have entirely suspect
ed me 10y surprise. | amt had no perspi-
ration for this event. Desc greenbacks Is
good to have about the house. / 'clar to
mercy | amt took five dollars 'cept what
was my own since been in desc rooms,
goin' on tree years. If you had respected
me little sooner l could gin You a good
song; l feels like big sun flower.
Garry the news to Mary;
Yah! yah!
I'm goin' to glory;
Yah! yahl
al nos suppose the bosses of di. house