Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1872-03-02
A Scene in Philadelphia.

The following Ger true tale, which is told II
vein equal to anything from the pen of John
PhnnlK, or Mark Twain, will be appreciated
by both press and public. Itis from the Phila'
delphia Dispatch
A week or two ago one of our reporters hac
occasion to refer to certain woman, whom We
will call Hannah Smith, as a denizen Of The
Eleventh ward day or two afterwards q
huge man entered the Office with bis brow
clothed with thunder In his hand he carried
+. fearful club. and at his side trntted bull dog
whom hunger evidently had made desperate
With that quick appreciation Of the situation
which is creditahle to the superior intelligence
# an educated man, the editor of this paper
aud the proprietor darted to the window, climb
ed outside. slid down the lightning-r"i, ano
went across the street to watch the bluody fray
through a spyglass With the fearlessness o
conscious innocence we sat still, merely insert
ing our legs in two sections Of stuve-pipe T.
guard against any miSapprehensiou Of facts or
the part Of the bull dog The man with The
club approached.
Are you the editor ?" he asked, splitting OF
his hand aud grasping his club. We told hin
that the editor was out that he had gone IL
the N"rth Pole with Captain Hall, and that h'
would not return bef re 1876, in time for the
centennial celebration.
Are you the Proprietor ?" asked the man.
We explained to him that we were not thai
the proprieturs were also out; that they hac
gone to South America for the purpose of in'
vesligalng the curative properties Of cnndu'
range, and they expected to remain there fol
several years.
Well. whoever you are exclaimed the
warrior, {" my name is Smith"
We told him we were glad, because, if there
was one thing better than possession of The
name of Smith, it WAS the privilege of know
ins man Of that name But, Smith, ",
,aid. why this battle array" 1t is alsurt
for man to put on the pan"Ply If war, aud
fisk into editors Sanctums fumbling a clul
aud accompanied by dishearteting bull dog
simply because his name happens to be Smith
He raid he called in to burst the head Of tie
man who had insulted his sister.
lit is impossible, Sgith. that such thinS
could have been done by any one in this office.
'' Yes but it was, though and her name wa'
published, too Miss Smith-bliss HGnne'
Smith"
MAY we he permitted to inquire, Mr
Smith, what was the precise character Of the
afTrout offered to Hannah ?"
"Well YOU see" said Smith, the black
guard said she was denzen. And | want
yuu to understand" exclaimed Smith, becnm-
ing excited and brandishing his club in wild
manner over our head, while the bull dog all
vanced and commenced to sniff up and down
our stove pipe, | want you to understand
that she is decent young woman, with good
character, and none Of your denizenS aud such
truck.
The man who says she isa denizen is black
guard and thief, aud III srnash him over the
nose if get chance. They may say what
they please about me, but the man who ABUSES
my sister has got to suffer" Aud Smith struck
the table in violent manner with his club,
willie the bull dog put bis fvre-legs up on the
back Of oui chair.
We paciGed Smith with dictionary. We
pointed out to that raging warrior that the
Websterian definition of the word deiiizen
gives such Il person an unoteudug character
and drprivrs the term nf everything like re-
preach. Smith said he WAS satisfied, and he
shruk hands and kicked the bull dog down
stairs. Tie editors aud proprietors, seeing that
all was safe, Immediately climbed the lightning
rod aud soon appeared at the window, where
they were Introduced TO Smith, with the re-
mark that they had returned firm the Nurth
Pole and the CLINE of the cuudurango some
what unexpectedly, in order 10 surprise their
relations.
Aud now we suppose Smith will be mad be-
cause we lave told this story about him, and
he will be coming down to interview us again
in wars nlagnificrrtly stern array with a fresh
bull dog But it will be in vain. We have
rented au Office in The top Of a shot ottower, aud
have planted torpedoes and spring guns all the
way up the stairs. We warn this incendiary
Smith to beware.
Tue following uotice might have been seen
t.r, ,tt=it,f fi,.,