The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1872-06-01
IFrom the New York Weekly.l
The Josh BIIIings- -SPiCe-BOX.
sNAIIs, sNAIKs, AND BABYs.

sNAIs, sNAIKs, AND BABYs.
The slowest gated animal On the face
ov the earth IL the snail.
They are one ov the phew who take
their house with them, when they go away
from home.
Snails are sed tew be delikate eating.
but If kan haV all the hash want, will
try and struggle along without any snail.
You kant phool me with hash, kno how
that IL made, but don't kno how snail
are put together. Ignorance is sed tew be
bliss, and hav often thought that it waz,
and if dent never know bow snails taste
don't think now shall repent ov it,
1t haz always been source OV mutch
doubt with me in mi hours oV C0nten1pla-
shun, which waz made fust, the snail, or
hiz shell, bat if don't know even this. i
don't mean tew git mad about it.
hav CRATE phaith 10 emmy job that ma
tur turns out, and had rather hav phaith
than knowledge, 1T saves CRATE deal ov
hard word. II costs a CRATE deal tew kno
all about things, and then yu ain't certainy
but faith IL cheap, and don't make emmy
blunders.
Science IL smart, but she kant tell VI
what makes the flower blush SO menny
different colors, but phaith can.
Science on deth bed il a pigmy, but
phaith IL Il giant.
sTRIPED SNAKE.
The striped snake IL one ov the slip
peryest Jobs that natur ever turned loose.
They travel on the lower side Ov them
sells, and kan slip out ov sight like blow>
ing out kandle. They were made for
sum good purpose, but never hav biR in
formed for what, unless it waz tew hav
their heads smashed.
They are sed tew be innocent, but they
hav got bad reputashun.
They liv ia the grass but seldom git
slept on, bekause they don't stay long
enutf in the right place.
When was little boy, and wore
naked feet, and was loafng around loose
for strawberrys, i was often times just a
going tew step on striped snaik, but it
alwus cured me ov straw berrys.
If a striped snaik got into a l0-aker lot
before did, alwus konsidered that all
the strawberrys in that lot belonged tew
the snaik.
"Fust cum, fust sarve," was mi motif.
l am jnst az fraid ov snaiks now az
waz 40 years ago, and if i should liv tew
be az old as Nebudkennezer waz, and go
tew grass as he did, one striped snaik
would spile so akers oV good pasture for
me.
Wimmin don't luv snaiks emmy more
than do, and respekt her for this.
How on earth Eve was seduced by
snaik, il fust class MYSTERY tew me, and
if hadn't read il in the bible would bet
against it.
believe everything thare IL in The bible,
the things kant understand, believe the
most.
wouldn't swop oph the phaith hav
got for any living mans know ledge.
Snaiks are all sorts, and all sizes, and
the smaller they are, the more am afrade
oy them.
wouldn't buy farm at haff price that
had striped snaik on it.
Ded snaik are weakness, with me i
always respekt them, and whenever | see
a ded one in the road, don't drop a tear
on him, but drop another stone on him,
for fear he might alter bis mind and cum
tew life sgip, for a snaik hates tew die
just as mutch as kat duz.
never could ackount for snaik or
kat hateing tew die so bad. unless it waz
bekause they waz so poorly prepared for
deth.
BABTS
Bybys luv with all mi heart they
are mi sweetmeats, they warm up mi blood
like gin sling, they krawl into me and
nestle by the side ov mi soul, like a kit>
ten under cook stove.
hav raised babys miself, and know
what am talking about
hav got grandchildren. and they are
wuss than the fust krop tew riot amuBg
the feelings.
IL could hav mi way, would change
all the human beings now on the face ov
the earth back inte babys at once, and
keep them thare, and make this tootstooi
one grand nussury but what Should do
for wet muses. don't knO, nor don't care
would like tew hav Is babys now on
mi lap, and mi lap amt the handyest lap
m the world for babys, neither: