The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-06-06
The Great G:ift.Tnker-An AdmtreY
from tho Country Presents Hi n
with n stuffed Goose.

from the Country Presents Hin
with n Stuffed Goose.
Jones, who is an observant gentleman,
found himself questioned upon the Penn
sylvania Patent Screw and Auger line of
cars by man from the interior of some
where. lie was tall, raw -boned speci-
men of humanity, costumed in the middle
ages of the West-that is, says Jones, as
middle-agel gentleman in Indiana, for ex-
ample, gets up his wedding apparel.
This middle-aged man was accompanied
by his wife and two daughters, and he ask
led our friend where the Presidents house
was.
"On Pennsylvania avenue" responded
our friend.
"What's the NUMBER" demanded inro-
cence.
at has no number"
'No number?' gasped the querist.
"None whatever. 1t is the high privilege
Of the President not to be numbered. He
is not liable to number or grade. He is
the only except Mul.et who is above
/ the Board of Public Works. If the Board
were to order the Presidents house num-
bered, or begin digging about, the Presi-
dent would rise to question of privilege,
and then the Board would be in fix"
''You don't say 50? What would they
do to it, do you suppose -
81 can't say precisely: we never had a
precedent, but more than probable the
Board would be split into kindling wood"
"Poor thing. Well, stranger, ! want to
see the President
"Do you want an Office? If you do, you
must see Conkling."
"Don't want no Office
"Do you want an order on the New York
Custom House for job ?"
"Don't want that, neither. What want
is little secret between Polly and me-
Pollys my wife"
ayes, it's putty BIG thing, can tell
you"
'Well, / have no wish to pry into fami-
y secrets. will point out the house when
we reach it. 1t stands back in yard, with
! a scarecrow in front to keep the
office-seekers from the Presidents garde n
sass. You 90 to tn, front door and ring
no. kick on it, and man will open it.
That is not the President; but he will
is small man attached to a big nose.
That is not the President, although he
thinks he is. Nosey will ask you for a
card. Don't give him 4 deck; he only
wants your name On slip of paper to send
to the President. Then Nosey will say,
sit down. You needn't be in hurry to
do that; you will have plenty of time
After an hour, Nosey will tell you that the
President is seeing Senators. II you
lock sharp YOU can see them. They will
come in with their ebinezers elevated as if
they smelled bad smell. Then you'll be
told the Cabinet is in session--to
come again next day. The next day you II
be put through the same performance, and
the next. and so on for awrek, and then
the doorbe will thrown open and then you
will have the privilege of seeing his excel
!ency smoke and say nothing for ten min
utes.
"Great thunder. Polly, let US ia Ike our
present and 90 home"
present. You don't mean to say you
have a present for the President -
eyes, we have. Fact is we have stuff
ed goose-the biggest goose that ever
walked. Its a perfect natural curiosity,
that goose, and Polly and 1 determined to
fetch that goose and our daughters on and
give it to the President"
"No express charges on it?'
Not charge"
"My friend kick at the front door: say
/. present for the President and you'll see
him in three minutes, and before you ca n
get home, you'll be postmaster
Jones saw the little family and big
goose disappear in at the White House !:
although the Star informs us that the Pres
dent received that day, no mention is made
Of that goose Washington Capital.