davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08
A FEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Our wandering scissors have stumbled over an
unusually large number of unique advertisements
for one weeks hunt. They are given below. 1t
ticles. The first is from a fast and furious Sab
bath-breaking undertaken. Imagine such an an
nouncement in q staid New England paper
CHALLENGE TO HAoKMEN.-A. Smith, under
taker No. SO St. Charles street, hereby challenges
any hackmen to run arace-will trot with team
at the Grand Festival of Protector Fire Company
No. 81 on Sunday, June 16, 1872. All to use their
own carriages.-Neao orleans Times
A lady entered drug store and asked for q bot,
tie of 'Jane's Experience" The clerk informed
her that Jane hadn't bottelsd her experience yet.
but they could furnish 'Jayne's Expectorant"
An itinerant vender of "cure-all" liniment
achieves the following while Offering his prepare
ton for sale:
s'1'he mill of the gods grind slowly,
But it grinds exceedingly SMALL
I'm bound to sell my liniment,
For twenty-five cents-bottle and all''
II just dote on Longfellow," said finished
young lady to her less literary companion. ''How
do you like Hyperion - Hyperion, did you say
was the bewildered reply. ''I don't know any.
thing about it: always use Burnett's Cos 3aine.
Mars summoned Mercury one eve,
Ere he to visit Venus went,
And babe him fair Olympus leave
..- For far-distant continent.
&c.," said the god, ste Manayunk,
And thence to Philadelphia fly:
Get me Of Crystal Soap chunk
They say it's just the thing for high
Beauty this night to me must yield
want the soap to scrub my shield
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

A story comes from Paris recalling Edgar
Poe's tales of horror. One evening. lately.
a certain Marie F. came home, accompanied
by man. Presently she went to a cabaret,
saying that her companion wanted drink,
and got some wine and biscuits, with which
she returned to her apartment. About mid
night, the bell which is attached to the front
door, inside, and communicates with the por-
ter's Off ce, rang for him to pull back the
latch, which he commands from his bed, and
some one went out. This was on Saturday
On Sunday, at noon, an admirer of Marie's
called to see her. but found the door locked
He told the porter, who said he felt sure
she was at home. Forcible entry was made
She was found extended on the floor, blue
and stiff. but without marks of violence or
her body. Two glasses were on the table
one empty, the other half filled with strong
ly odoriferous greenish liquor. Beside hel
lay dead her favorite parrot, for which she
had refused one hundred dollars. The most
singular point is that this is the fifth poison
ing case which has occurred in this district
within two months. 1t naturally gives rise
| to the surmlse that some monster settles his
scores In this m anneer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08
THE DESSERT.

1t is diff cult to see how, when heap Of snow
is fast to the ground, it can be said to be drift
'sThat was fine beef and potatoes had for my
dinner to-daY,'' remarked an Irishman. ''Troth,
and isn't that curious coincidence T. exclaimed
another eagerly; ''the very same dinner that had
meself. barrinthe bafe I"
A man at camp meeting out west boa ted that
he had been married twenty-five years, during
which time he had not given his wife a cross word
or look. He forgot to tell his hearers that he
dare not do one or the other.
western paper thinks the snail has fright
smalt chance for toothache. He had one hun
dred and ten rows of teeth, with one hundred and
ten teeth in each row, or twelve thousand two hun
dred and ten in ALL"
"May leave a few tracts % asked medical
missionary of lady who responded to bis knock
leave some tracks? Certainly you may" said
ske looking at him most benignly over her specs
eleave them with the heels towards the house, if
you please"
Beecher explains that the reason he gave up pas.
toral visits was because the ladies kept him wait
they would talk of nothing but servants, child
ren's ailments and family genealogies, untlit got
to be trife monotonous.
An enthusiastic ritualist, wishing to make gift
to his rector at Easter, ordered beautifully en-
broidered clerical vestment to be made In anothe,
city. He gave directions that the garment should
be sent by express, and marked &C. o. d. and
30 it was, In the most elegant style of needle
work.
The other evening gentleman'accidentallY gave
a bootblack fve-dollar piece, mistaken in the
dusk for cent. The boy discovered the error al
once, and what did the noble little fellow do
Quietly put it in his pocket and say nothing? No
spurred by better impulse, he called all his com
RAIDS and generously spent every penny in peanuts
and lemon beer. .w
A man on the day he became one hundred years
old, went to have pair of shoes made, remarking
that he wanted them built substantially with plen-
ty Of hob-n&ils. The store-kceper suggest ed that
he might not live to wear such pair Of shoes out
when the old gentleman retorted that he com.
menced this one hundredlyears good deal strong
err than he did the last one
A German peddler sold man liquid for the ex-
termination of bugs. ''And how do you tsse it %
inquired the man after he had bought it. "You
kotch the bug, un drop Won drop into his mout, "
answered the peddler. 1.-THE deuce you do - ex
claimed the purchaser 81 could kill it in half the
time by stamping on it,. "Vell,'' exclaimed the
German. 'dat ish very goot way, too to kill
him -
Two Irishmen on a sultry night, ook refuge un
der the bed clothes from party of mosquitoes
At last one Of them gasping from heat, ventured
to peep hey ond the bulwarks, and espied FREELY
which had strayed into the room. Arousing his
companion with punch, he said: Fergus, Fer
gus, it's no uSe. Ye might as well come out
H9re's one of the crayters searching for us wild
lantern"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08
A Lecture to Young
Men!
In Chemical and Medical Science.

JUST published, a new edition of DR.. CULVER
cure of certain weaknesses, the effects of errors
and abuses in early life. H9l
The celebrated author, in this admirable essay,
clearly demonstrates froma thirty years success
full practice, that the alarming consequences of
such errors and abuses may be radically cured
without the dangerous use of internal medicine
mode of cure at once simple. certain and efectua,
by means of which every sufferer, no matter what
his condition may be, may cure himself cheapiy,
privately, and TGdScGllv
az This lecture should be in the hands of every
youth and every man in the land.
sent, under seal, in plain envelope, TO any ad-
dress, postpaid, on receipt OF six cents, or two
post stamps.
:. Also, DR.. Culverwell's " Marriage Guide" price
rs cents.
Address tAe Publishers, sa
CHAS. j. @. KLINE q co.
~ Bowery, New York, Post Office Box 1856.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08
OF A PIECE OF COMMON MIR
ROR.

The trick often played by mischievous children,
Of rejecting the solar rays by means of piece of
looking-glass to certain spot, thus amusing
themselves and annoying their neighbors, may be
turned in many ways to very useful purposes. In
case the bottom of a we'll needs examining it is
easy to hold mirror or piece of the same in such
a position as to reflect its rays in the water, SO
that not only any thing floating the surface can
then be plainly seen but also wheter the water be
clear. Ifthe contents of the well are not turbid,
the smallest object on the bottom can be distin-
guished. We have in this way traced and recov-
cred objects dropped in wells of go feet lin depth,
and which contained more than 20 feet Of water
When the objects are SMALL or a minute examina-
ton of the bott ON is required an opera glass may
be put in req uisition. If the top of the we'll is not
exposed to sunlight, mirror may pc placed out
side, even at great distance, to reflect the light
over its top, where second mirror may reflect it
downward. Impurities and sediments at the bot
tom may thus be discovered, and the experiment
may thus serve as a sanitary precaution Letting
q lamp, candle, Or lantern down gives by no means
SO successful a rasult, as the light is very weak
compared with sunlight, and its glare even when
the ewes shaded from it's direct rays, prevents
distinct vision. The only thing which can replace
solar light in such a case is the oxygen lime, mag
nesium electric light, generated above the well,
| and reflected downward by a concave mirror, or
it's rays rendered parele like solar rays, by means
of large lens.
The method mentioned of two mirrors, one out
side rejecting the solar rays in room, and a
second small mirror in its path TO reflect these
rays into dark cavity, is at the present day sue
cessfully employed by physicians for the examina-
ton of cavities of the body for instance, to ex
plore the tympanum in the human ear, the larynx
or throat, ETC.
There is another use of piece of looking-glass,
by which the annoyance of smoking chimneys
and even the danger of fire may be saved 1t is to
hold in the hole in the chimney wall, into which
the stovepipe is to go, piece of mirror, inclined
at angle of 45 degrees. Ifthe observer can the
light of the sky he will also the whole int erior
of the chimney, and any obstruction in the same.
AS most chimneys are straight and perpendicular
reflection will make the top opening clearly yis-
iole.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

From over sea we have the three following an
ecdotes from q clever TGcOnteuT
The late Chief Justice Dohery, of ireland, used
to tell this good story of his posting days. He
was going circuit in poste-chase, and at danger
Gus part where the road skirted descent, one of
the horses, which had been behaving wildly all
the way, began kicking furiously. Much alarmed,
Doherty called ont
'This is outrageous I don't think that horse
has ever been in harness before
"Bedad, your lordship's right. He was only
took out OF the field this morning.
''And do you mean to tell me that you have pus
an unbroken horse in my carriage? -
''sorra sight of the lestherhe has ever seen till
to day. And if he brings your ordship safe to the
fut of the hill, the master says he'll buy him -
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

Prof. Liebg. in lecture on poison, said thai
''people were foolish in using arsenic to poison
their enemies, for the billionth of grain can be
traced in the stomach, and 'if the person should
die it remains there forever" Arsenic is so inju
rious wa en- used in coloring materials, that he
even objects to children using green-covered
school books
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

Harry Il, the proprietor Of the Great Hot
Springs of the Upper Yellow Stone, was recently
n Bozeman, Montana Territory. During his visit
he was present in the Halls ofJustice, and heard
the jugde sentence negro named Smoky to the
penitentiary for two years, and Chinamsn for ten
years. In the evening, being with a few friends
where the social little game of "draw" was going
on, some one asked Harry if he had been to the
courtroom during the day.
EYES," replied Harry.
"Did the judge sentence smoly?''
sYes; sent him up the fun two years"
s'How about the Cbinaman %
sob, he saao Smoky and soent eight 6etter.''
The 'Great Hot Springs" then took cigar.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

There are eight large establiShm ents in the
United States engaged in the manufacture of pins.
one factory turning out an average of about eight
tons week. American pins are considered the
best in the world, and the demand from foreign
countries is constantly increasing.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

A PLEASANT ANECDoTE. The following
story told of Rev Thomas Alexander, an
English Presbyterian Minister, recently de-
ceased. is vouched for by the London cores.
pondent Of the Presbyterian:
"This winter Mr.. Alexander observed q
curate passing his window in the cold morn
ings without great coat, cold and unc0m-
Portable, with that look of genteel perjury
which too often attaches to the poorly paid
curates of the English Church, He went out
TO his tailor,-'Can you make coat with
out seeing the man who was to wear it ?
''That was doubtful.
Can you make the coat if you see the
man, without measuring him?
1.-The tailor thought he might.
" Then be ready when call you
"The next day, accordingly, when the cur
ate was seen approaching, Mr.. Alexander
hurried out to The tailor, and the two walk
ed some little distance behind the unsus-
pecting man. N -
" Now take good look; make sure of
your measure. Are you satisfied p
"'Yes Ftaa rt
"'Then,' said Mr.. Alexander, make that
poor fellow good coat, of gooA cloth, at
once. Ascertain his address, and send it to
him but mind you, if you give him the
slightest in1ling that I sent it, you shall
never do for me another stitch
$50 the two parted. Mr.. Alexander lived
to see the curate go by his house with the
great coat on, an excellent fit, and well but.
toned up in welcome warmth"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

I :ecollect dinner at Lord Ms, q good
hunting man, and Conservative official, and who
had lately taken up poultry with ardor. During
the dinner letter arrived about favorite hen,
which seemed to give him great deal ofpleasure
and which he read out:
Your lordship will be glad to hear the hen at
last has laid, but will not hatch so your lordship
being absent in town, put it under the goose.
Only the wit of the company perceived the joke,
and he made his lordship read it over again.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

Truth may perhaps come to the price of pearl,
that showeth best by day but it will not rise to
the price of diamond, that showeth best in varied
light.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-08-08

Old Lady T was delightful person for
hor good common sense and plain spoken style.
She told me she was travelling in Switzerland,
when she arrived at midnight at some small town.
All the inns were full but with some hesitation,
she was shown into a great barrack-room, where
there was one bed, but where ave gentlemen were
asleep.
''lf the lady has OBJECTION
81 had none in the verdi" she said ;; &C and nev-
err slept beuer-never met five qrieter men in my
life"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
WASHINGTON.
THE NEW POSTAL GOVERNMENTAL REVENUE
MATTERs-AN OFFICE HOLDERS BANK.
rRI Eel pu ,r0

THE NEW POSTAL CARDs-INTERNAL REVENUE
MATTERS-AN OFFICE HOLDERS BANK.
lBY TELEGRAPH TO THE TRIBUNEI
WASHINGTON, Wednesday, Aug. 81. 1871.
The new postal card just adopted by the Post-Ofice
Department will be of light amber color, five inches by
three and oneeighth in size and will weigh about one
and onefourh drains On side will be head Of the
Goddess of Liberty, with the legend UNITED States
Postal Card" THIS side also contains the direction
Write the superscption this side and the communl-
cation on the other"
The Internal Revenue Bureau has made its expected
raid on the brewing interest," and orders were issued
to-day directing gaugers to and remark all casks
used the sale OF beer and where they contain more
than their pretended capacity to mark them to the size
above them TO the brewers TO be cut down.
An application at the Internal Revenue Bureau for per-
mission dist whisky from canteopes under the eX-
empton allowed fruit dstiers, refused to-day on
ground that the law recognizes those only as frut
distlers who dstl from apples, peaches and grapes
The Second National Bank Of Washington, with capt.
tai OF 100000 will begin business in ten days or two
weeks Their collateral bonds have already been de-
posted in the Treasury John c. McKeldin has been
chosen President and f. II. Gassaway OF the Treasury,
Assistant Cashier Those most prominent among the
stockholders Leroy r. futile, Assistant U. 5. Treas
urer; VIM A. Richardson, Assistant Secretary OF the
Treasury Thos L. Tullock, Collector OF Internal Reye-
nue.; lGen Geo. w. Balloch OF the Freedmens Bureau,
Gen o. Evans, and Lewis Clephane ex-Collector.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
TIE RIOT IN IRELAND.

THE CONDITION OF BELFAST WORSE THAN
rvFR-sCHOOL-H HOUSES DESTROfED-THEA U-
THoRITIEs POwERLESs.
LONDON, wednesday, Aug. 81, 1872.
dispatch sent from Belfast, last evening,
tho c,tv was ouieter than 1t had been during the
a.. though the riotipg was not ended The prisoners
av,ured nv the civic and military authorities con-
- ,o ,a under a strong escort Of troops. No demon
...,,o,s toward a rescue were made. The municipal
angs were strongly guarded, and the streets Of the
city were patrolled by cavalry. dispatch from Lur
.avs ,he disorders there have been suppressed and
the town Is now quiet
d,.natoh from Belfast this morning says: During
the rioting yesterday policeman named Moore
no, and killed There were also a number of other
casualtes The mob, when not engaged In destroying
sonses assaulted individuals. Many respectable per
sons yero most shamefully treated, including Mr. Ben
ein tho editor of TIE Northern Star, Catholic Journal
An the schools tn the city and most of the mills are
closed Nine magistrates are now on duty. Although
the streets patroled last evening by the military
crowds collected and the excitement and the rioting
was continued Thirty Of the rioters arrested yes
terday and lodged in prison. At midnight the city vas
compsratively quiet, though occasional shots were
heard Il Ia reported that several personal encounters
betwecn ters and special constabes have occurred
The hopes Of the restoration Of quiet which were ex.
cited yesterday by the rather peaceful state Of AZ
fairs have not realized The condition OF the CITY,
M sipvn by the reports received at headqnarars was
worse than ever last night The authorities are power
iess against tho dcpredators though supported by
armed force of fully 5000 Tho school houses have
been destroyed and It "a with the utmost dncalty that
ssme Of tho ehurshes ere preserved e0 sharing tAsir
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
TELEoRAPHIC NOTES.

IA Board Of Naval Oficers for the examination
Of omsen for promotion. viii convene In Washington Sept
A Treasury warrant for S525, 22S, In settlement
the Kentucky Claims YESTERDAY the Governor Of that
The Treasury Department viii begin (Aug. 26).
the payment the interest," without rebate on me bonds que
Sept
.Complaint is made by Victoria papers that the
Of and selling China women earned On openly N ds
Of isw.
A telegram from Trouville says the Garde Re-
pubssne Band has as returned om America 10 play before
Preadsnt Theirs, today
Utah mining news for the last few days has
han sncoarasng instances nearly quarter Of nil
lion hsyns been paid cash trSas Of aiming property
The Governor Of British Columbia has distrib-
ate. n,ssp, among nsas Bhssns River sonpsnsauon m
Ss .ssiSsss.l SsruiAs sar vsssby usne All qdes
snd river travs 10 resumed
Tho reunion of the Grand Army Of the RBpub-
he place Portland yesterday Ts heavy rain NAB
morning train hsh and delayed the sxeaon
Island sai Co.. Psrhan aad STAT the
President GSnnt has directed Collector Smith
dssessss The sA ~ Of Ne sssel q the neupAis and h
Rseh Railroad, Mr. asAlau We Dnscaa steshAes hAvas
S,alssa Ne hsses 81 Ne cwsss tss asssst b. CsS G&
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
an ILLINOIS TRAGEDY.

THREE LIVES SACRIFICED A MURDERER
LYNCHED.
ST. LOUIS, Aug. 21.-Ihe Democrat has
special from Olney Ill., which says that on Saturday last
Jefferson White and Henry Houltz had dispute while
working at threshing machine near that place White
went TO his house. quarter of mile distant, got his
gum returned and shot Houz in the abdomen just as he
was mounting his horse the place. Houltz died
in few moments. Houltzs wife was SO terribly
shocked at the event that she also died Monday night
White gave himself up Saturday evening Intense ex-
element prevailed in the neighborhood Sunday and
Monday, and about O'Clock Tuesday morning large
crowd OF men broke open the JAIL took White out and
hung him to tree in the Courthouse yard.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
THE Utah INDIAN TROUBLES.

SILT LAKE CRY, Aug 2i.-Dispatches from
San Pete are favorable to the peaceabe settlement OF
the Indian troubles. Tabby and Douglass, two infu-
entail chiefs have agreed to meet In council to-day with
portion Of their tribes and II is thought the Untah and
White River bands will retire once to their reserya-
tons Gen Morrow b the ground with troops ready
for action II the negotiations fail.
The shiverutes, Karotas, Elk Mountain. Utes, and
Navsjoes although still hostile will probably be brought
to terms Of peace. named Richard smith, and not
Indians, at rst supposed committed the murdercus
assault ON q telegraph operator at Mount Pleasant
smith was arrested and confessed his guilt -
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
THE MACE-oBALpwIN FIAscO.

COLLIER, w. Va, Aug. 21.-About 200
roughs, thieves, and sporting men, with Mace and
OBaldwif arrived at Golfers Valley, near the State
line between Pennsylvania and Virginia. ring was
pitched at D. M Mace the first to enter, won the
toss, and occupied the northwest corner After an
hours deliberaton the could not agree upon ref
cree and that ended the fight, amid much dissatsfac
on The pugiliss then proceeded to steubenyille to
meet Tomorrow
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
oRIxEs AND OAsuALrIEs-BY rELEoRApp

ON1AHo AMI OArUALIihS-B1 IELEGKAPH.
=, Henry Miller perished from thirst lately ON
the hosve dsssrt
-. Angelina Savony, negro, aged g, committed
suicide Tuesday evening A. Bainers By kng aaeanan In
sequence Of dsmssue uphsppi.ess
e ID. Sweetman, son of N. sweetman, United
ss:s Assessor for Aoaomsy Cosng Va esvssa Tssaay
hsht While on pleasure excursion down the hmes River
MARY Frances Robinson, q colored luuatic. WA
nufds u Tie cs.t Asqn. Rehnss4 Va rsssday MA Sv
ELLA "assn another eoosd patient Who eAohed hss Death
Ia coroners inquest in the matter of the shoot
Ing OF Mn hekhsnsy By her hns>spd An ,A
natnssa Of The pssssr 70 await shs action Of The Grad
80 Fanny Fuller was badly injured yestar,aav "A
the fsetosy Of Ne Nashua H. Glazed p.~v
being a~s into Ne soas n<shhs under Which sssepin
The Apsches recently Jumped some herd
eA %ns hpsfes % the Gna River Assaa 81 e.
npsd Into the santa Mia nearly Aol.l,,l e.A r.
Pspasss az greatly ssessst d Vie vhaea ~ - ss 80
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1872-08-22
THE PHILADELPHIA posr-oFFIcE SITE.

WASHINGTON. Aug. 2.-The Commissioners APP
pointed by Secretary Boutwell, select ate for the Pooe
Courthouse Pbadphs have recommended that the Unvery
10, side Of Ninth Cheaut be used for that
pose The University Offers lot the side Of sintsa with
buildings and adjoining properties for sJso and also
further @ with the buings thereon connecting with The aforesaid
property south and exceeding 70 Chestna with ont
th. street Of 81 feet nneh for Or BE two properties for
Should DO desirable have the lot the entire
trout al the property lying between the University
erty Erih together With ths budns thereon, offered for
Additional with ost on Chestnut
offered for e7sp and lot the thereof fos