Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1872-06-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Improving time-mendingaclock t
A grave mistake a man
alive.
A rare Aower-the pink OF polite
ness.
Uncomfortable suit to wear-hbd
suits.
women in arms" Well, where
should they be?
Disease comes in by hundred
weights and goes ont by ounces,
A dead hen is better than a live
one she will lay wherever you put
her,
Iftime should repair the breaches,
would there be any yestigcs2
Can a ship with two owners be
called a partnership.
Times are so hard in some places
just now that people can't even pay
attention.
Bonefeld is the appropriate name
OF a Georgia undertaken.
MISSIONER lately received $4,000
for a single painting.
Why is a waiter like a race horse?
Because he runs Tor plates and cups.
Motto for railroad directors-Ney-
er mind passengers; it's freight that
makes the cargo.
A South Carolina negro harnesses
himself to a plough, and his wife
persuados him with agoad.
A Jew, on seeing a prodigiously
line ham, remarked: Chou almost
persuadest me to be Il Christian"
Mr.. Disraeli, as a retired minister,
receives a Government pension of
ten thousand dollars per annum.
A gardeners wife made a pincu,h,
ION cut OF a Spanish onion, but she
found that it brought tears Ito her
needles eye.
A Kentuckian being asked how
much corn he RAISED, answered
about ten barrels of whiskey, be-
sides what we waste making bread"
The beggars in Buenos Ayres ride
on horseback, and when they do not
wish food, as coolly beg that you will,
Tor the love of the Virgin, bestow
some money for them to buy cigars.
Mr.. Ball, the Cardiff Giant man,
unlike most other great discoveries,
seems to be reaping the reward of
his enterprise, as he is building q
very fine business block in Bingham
ton, New York.
Somebody asked a Paris editor
Where do you get your intelH-
Sohfe?' "From the papers" "Whore
~ 'no papers get it?" "From other
H"polS, But who is the first au-
'nor Oh lt?' "Nobody."
oet oLaa1nt says that even the great
eS' absolute monarch can nowS1ovs
chine Of st3ato~4 se'I o '94lP, tGa Sol ma a.
peoplG, GS-oatives Of the press and
u;
The boys in New Orleans, now in
the height Of their kite-hying season,
are said to be more of an aflic;ion
than the mosquitoes. In Upper-ten-
boydom, there are two clubs, the
"Ttundle Bed Tigers and the aPap
Inyincibles,"
George Sands does not hesitate to
say that her seventy-fve volumes
have, on an average, brought her
more than $4,000 a piece. This is
exclusive of her plays, which have
brought her in $4,000.
An ingenious and philanthropic
chemist in Georgia has invented a
dlstilling apparatus compact enough
to be kept on ones bedroom mantle
piece, and capable of producing
some twenty five bottles of whiskey
per diem. He is sad to be already
overwhelmed with orders from Maine
and Massachusetts.
A Petersburg clergyman, while
preaching on Sunday, accidentally
stepped back upon the furnace gra-
ting in the pulpit, and it being inse-
curely fastened, he suddenly dis
appeared from view in the midst of
a sentence. He however soon recoy-
cred himself uninjured, and proceed
ed with his sermon.
In order to get the streets cleaned,
a Little Rock paper prints this pleas,
ant paragraph: eve have laid in
an elegant assortment of frst-class
obituaries, from which we shall Sc
lect, with pleasure, fitting ones fer
each of the Aldermen, when be dies
from me enolefa or other disease,
su%perinduced by the filthy condition
Of our streets and alleys"
The selection of Charles Francis
Adams, Jr., to deliver the 4th Of Ju-
ly Grafton before the authorities of
Boston is the first case where the
third generation has performed that
service. The father was the orator
in 1913 and the grandfather in 1893,
Just half a century a part. Hon. Jo.
siah Quincy was the orator in 1898
and 1926. His ION Josiah was ora
tor in 1882. Hon. James T. Austin
was orator in 1929, and his son, Iyers
S. Austin, in 1889.
HaStV ErinndChin