The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1872-01-25

me gnHw, ma" (Norma.)
The three stages of Darwinism are now
said to be positive, tail; comparative,
tailor; superlative, taillessl
An aid lady writing to her son out
West tells him to beware Of bilious sa-
looms and bowel alleys
A dandy in Broadway, wishing to be
witty, accostsd an old man as follows;
"You take all sorts OF trumpery in ,our
cart, don't youH" "Yes, jump in, jump
in"
A long island chicken thief attempted
to ply his avocation in the vicinity of
bulldog. His apothecary's bill amount
to neOyly $50,
Say, Jonesl What's the matter with
your eye? "Oh! nothing, my wife said
this morning." you'd better get up and
light the fire, l told her to make it her
self, that's all"
A wag out west who read that dry cop
peras put into bed of ants would cause
them to leave, put some in his mother,
ln-law's bed to see il she wouldn't go
He says she was there at last accounts.
A Chicsgo man, quietly viewing the
rapid destruction of his row of elegant
business houses, by the big fire, was 40
costed by friend, with, what are you
thinking aboutr OH was only think
ing it is little hot for the rats.
A chap from the country lately visit
ing Delmonico's came to the word hall
but in the list on his bill of fare, and
thought he would try some "Havo you
any halibut," said he. "Yes, sir. "Then
bring me q couple"
Doctors wito-"Why DO you not send
for my husband, dear, if you feel un-
well?" Dlsgustingly-forward child-"O,
pa, says it's generally easier to get rid of
the disease than of the doctor, if you
once get him in the house"
An old farmer said to his sons: "Boys,
don't you ever speckerlate, or wait for
summit to turn up. You might just as
well so and set down on stone in the
middle OF meddler, with u pail twixt
your legs, and wait fur COW to back up
to you to be MIXED.
A foolish old bachelor says, "Young
men, keep clear of calico, if you want to
do anything great. Calico is baneinl
institution. A pair of sweet lips, slim
waist, and the pressure Of q delicate
hand, will do as much to unhinge q man
as the measles and the doctors bill to
boot"
Little girl, observation-disclosures
who are you making all those nice little
clothes for?" Mamma (feeling)-"I
am making them for poor little baby,
who hasn't rag to it's namo" Little
girl (sympathe:ically )-"Mamma, was
it burnt out in Chicago"
An orator, in husky voice, said In
short, ladies' and gentlemen, I can only
wish had window in my bosom, that
you might see the emotions ofmy heart.
0 The newspapers all printed the speech,
o leaving the "n" out of window" He
was taken somewhat aback when he read
! it.
An Irishman fell from the third story
of q building in course OF erection. A
n friend ran to him expecting to find life
, extinct, but instead the tough celt raised
up scratching his head and rubbing his
: shoulders; his friend asked, "did the fall
s hurt .yu?" when Pat replied, "no, yc
blasted fool, twas the stopping SC
t quick"
A lady, well known in Washington as
Il Lobbyist, always accosts stranger with
81 think have seen you somewhere,
i which often leads to clew for her find.
r. ing out the history of the party. On,
evening she played off her usual game OIL
: a gentleman that understood her char
It acter, and who replied, "AIost likely
e madam, for l sometimes go there"
Is An editor down east thus speaks of ,
>. contemporary: "He is too lazy to earl
e a meal and too mean to enjoy one. HI
% was never generous but once, and tha
n was when he gave the itch to his ap
al prentice. So much for the goodness 0
1t his heart OF his industry, the publ
d may the better Judge when We state tina
D. the only day he ever worked was tn
day he mistook castor-oil for honey"
c. A learned clorgymen was accostod il
Is the following manner by an illterat
/ preacher who despised education: "Sil
or you have been to college, 1 suppose ?
ir YES sir, was the reply. Il am thank
IS, ful," rejoined the former, "that the Lor
Il; opened my mouth without any learning.
lis "a similar event." retorted the clergy
We man, "took place at Balaam's time; bu
such things are Of rare occurrence ut til
present day.
ne 81 know what your beau's pretty whit
ns horses name is, said little Greenfel
IN hoy to his sister, Monday morning, sit
Id DaRye." "Hush, Eddie, that's naught
mt word" "Well, 1 don't care if It's; that
Id his name, cos, last night WAS standin
an outside Of the fence and heard him 50