Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-02-13
.Lssaech for Hsc27aO9'dsts.

Bones favors corsets he says the tighter his
wife laces, the less likely she is to ''get her
back up,
IF you don't stop using tobacco, the first
thing you know you will have the amaurosls,
angina pectoris, hypochondriasis and locomo-
tcrataxy.
''One can't have everything" as the man
said when he was down with the smallpox,
and cholera and yellow fever came into the
neighborhood.
Pretty teacher-Now, johnny Wells. can you
tell me what is meant by miracle I? johnny
Yes, ma'ain. Mother says if you don't marry
our new parson. that it will be miracle.
The latest neat invention for Disgusting the
female form divine is called supporting ex-
tension bustle." 1t is satisfaction Ia dull
times like the. present, to know that there is a
hustle in one branch of business, at least.
A little Boston girl joyfulIy assured her moth
err that she had found cut where they made the
horses--she had seen man In shop just fin
ishing one of them, for he was mailing on his
last foot.
"Do be frank" said young Mr.. Smith to
Miss Francis, who had been quizzing him for
an hour But, Edward, [ have been Frank
twenty-five years, and | should like to try some
other name just for change" was the arch
reply.
An enthusiastic African. who had spent de
winter in Jamaky," found it an earthly para
disc. He said be could lie abed, and, putting
his arms out de windy, pick oranges, pine ap-
pies aud Jamaica rum right off de trees.
"A GAINESVILLE, Wisconsin, paper says the girls
of that town 'sleep with their corsets on
When those Wisconsin girls take notion to
be squeezed, they are going to be- even if they
have to have it done by machinery.
An Irishman noticing a lady pass down the
street, eSpied two strips suspended from under
her mantle. Not knowing that these were
styled sashes and were hanging in their right
place, he exclaimed: An faith ma am, yer
galuses are loose
A Western editor, in acknowledging the gift
OF a peck of potatoes, says ut is such kind
nesses as these that bring tears to our eyes,
One peck OF potatoes makes the whole world
kin. We have trusted in Providence, and this
is our reward. We would like little kindling
wood and some good turuips, but that would
be asking too much, so We will try and do with
out them.
Old Mrs. e., was never regarded as para
gon Of neatness; and If cleanliness is next to
goodness, ST. Paul asserts. it is to be feared
that the old lady never attained to the latter
state. Not only was she anything but neat
herself, but she showed sovereign contempt
for it in Others. Speaking OF neat people, one
day, she remarked that her son Josiah was one
of the most particular men 10 the world. -
Why" said she, he threw away whole cup
OF coffee, the other morning, because it had
a bed-bug IN it.
AN INcIDENT.-The following little story is
tn!Q at tifn aynnnSa cf t,cupp LODI,
teacher in Altoona. who is very properly anx-
lons Ia regard 10 the prevention of smallpox
In her school, and therefore strictly enforces
the rule that whenever case of sickness is re-
ported il the family Of any one of her pupils.
the pupil must bring certificate from the fam.
lily physician stating that the disease is not con-
tagious, failing in which, the pupil must remain
away untii ali danger is over 4 few DAYS ago
she was informed that one of her pupils. lit
tie girl Of Teutonic extraction, had sickness in
her family. On being questioned. the Girl ad-
mittad that she had sick at her house :" that
her mother vas sick, and that she had marks
On her face She was accordingly sent home.
She returned in few days, however, and re-
ported that her father vas SICK" She was
again sent home, with orders not to come again
without certificate from the family physician.
Che next day she returned to school, and shy-
~ siding up to the teacher, with her finger IN
her mouth and her little bonnet swinging BY
the strings, she said: Miss =. we've
got leetle baby at our house, but mother lold
me to tell you that it isn't catchin." The |
teacher said she was very glad it wasn't ''catch
ing, and told her pupil 10 take her seat.
H0lliddysbuyg Pa. Reosster.