The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-05-28
An Incident in the Mines.
A COmical Interview.

Il Fanshaw when he died. He was q
representative citizen. He had "killed his
man'-not in his own quarrel, It is true,
but in defence of stranger beset by num-
bers. He had been the proprietor of a
dashing helpmeet, whom he could have
discarded without the formalities of di-
vorce. He had held high position in the
fire department. and had been Warwick
in politics. When he died there was great
lamentation throughout the town, but es-
pecially in the vast bottom stratum of soci-
tv.
cn the inquest it was shown that Buck
Fanshaw, in the delirium of q wasting ty-
phoid fever, had taken arsenic shot him
self through the body cut his throat and
jumped out of four-story window and
broken his neck; and after due deliberation
the jury sad and fearful, but with intelli-
gence unblinded by its sorrow, brought in
verdict of death "by the visitation of
God" What could the world do without
iuries
Prodigious preparations were made for
the funeral All the vehicles in town were
hired, and all the saloons were draped in
black. Regretful resolutions were passed
and various committees were appointed;
among others, a committee of one was ap-
pointed to call on minister-a fragile,
gentle, spiritual new fledgling from an Eas-
tern theological seminary; and as yet unac-
quainted with the ways of the mines. The
committeeman, "Scotty" Briggs, made his
visit.
Being admitted to his presence he sat
down before the clergyman. placed his fire
hat on an unfinished manuscript sermon
under the minister's nose, took from it a
red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow and
heaved sigh of dismal impressiveness ex-
planatory of his business. He choked and
even shed tears, but with an effort he
mastered his voice, and said, in lugubrious
tones:
care you the duck that runs the gospel
mill next door?'
I" am the-pardon me, believe l do
not understand?'
With another sigh and half sob Scotty
rejoined:
"Why you see we are in bit of trouble,
and the boys thought may be you'd give us
a lift, if we'd tackle you, that is, if I've got
the rights of it and you are the clerk of the
doxology works next door,"
81 am the shepherd in charge of the
flock whose fold is next door,"
Z" The which ?'' asked Scotty,
The spiritual adviser Of the little company
of believers whose sanctuary adjoins these
premises" replied the parson.
Scotty scratched his head, reflected mo-
ment and then said: H...
reckon can't call that hand. Anto and
pass the buck"
GLOW? beg your pardon. What did I
understand you to say?
"Well you've rather got the bulge ON me.
Or may be we've both got t he bulge, some
how. You don't smoke me and / don't
smoke you. You see one of the boys has
passed in his checks, and we want to give
him good send off, and so the thing Pm
on now is to rout out somebody to jerk out
a little chin-music for us, and waltz him
through handsome" "lf
"My friend / seem to grow more and
more bewildered. Your observations are
wholly incomprehensible TO me. Cannot
you simplify them some way? At first l
thought perhaps l understood you, but now
grope. Would it not expedite matters if
you restricted yourself to categorical state
ments Of facts unincumbered with obstruct-
ing accumulations Of metaphor and allie
gory?'
Another pause, and more reflection.
Then Scotty said:
"Pllhave to pass, judge"
How ?''
"You've raised me out, pard."
81 still fail to catch your meaning"
"Why, that last lead of yourn is too
many for me-that's the idea, cam neith-
er trump nor follow suit"
The clergyman sank back in his chair
perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on his
hand, and gave himself up to reflection.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful but
confident.
"Ive got it now, SOS you can sarvy,"
said he. "What we want is a gospel-sharp.
See ?''
"a what ~
Gospel-sharp, parson."
"oh! Why did you not say so before? 1
am clergyman-a parson."
"Now you talk You see my blind, and