The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-02-14
ous in aspect and can only be equalled BY the
c0lOred engravings


You'll have to get sub instead OF me;
ia never De q stick Tor suca as thee
TO butcher, VINO charges sixty cents pouno for
porterh0use steak
Hardhearted butcher, you try in vain
For my consent you'll never GAM;
Sy ssSasn y o TO s0 for yo ne to s reveal
To man with mulish temperament, who talks
horse and owns TWO "trotters":-
A horsey man do detest,
There's TOO much Of the stable in HIS smell
HepaY napage brute with tolerable care
But suOn a one: fortune psye. wll share
Toa wldower. who owns three ts9ement houses
Poor Whoever with detected looks, Vs.
Considering that I'm not quite ready Tor the grave,
Ny affection for some mider man III save.
To rumseller, who pays 81 600 rent for his store
and refuses TO keep free lunch COUNTER
.wi yon walk into paror said the spider to the fly"
Will E1n SpnT MAJ Sa strife
For this trade and the pride of Saloon keepers Me-
TO female sunday school teacher. who has an
eye on her pet minister:--
Loud with moral lessons aud religious cant,
Always really about vie sin TO rant ,....
II you'd take less pains to after your preacher
To physician, who ''dlvides' with his apothc-
cary
To Judge Of profits through the undertaken made.
Ere all your patents meath the sod are laid.
To q siatternly young lady, with her shoes down
at the heel and her HAIR uncOmbed. yet VINO would
like to get married.
Sitting all day. book in hand upon the CRATE,
You would have your house In fearful state.
Torn clothes of shirt would fate
q the sn sh9a he yS~' I'd not
any rate
Verses dedicated 10 mild lunatlc, who thinks he
can play base BALL.
rho trade that you've chosen wn do for gentleman hne
But never for thre reg case ~, like thine
You will never be more than muffin play a. much ~ you
To tall widow. with blonde hair and fondness
for scotch ale:-
Alas, poor widow Try not your arts on me.
S.fo4s Ss s ye aS Sssse saas
It will not be with woman that's second hand.
To q nurse, at So month"; spanker:-
Mind the child-dont gawk about
You think catch man, doubt.
But you'll find your mistake ont
To an author VINO bOres his friends at dinner with
conversation about ''hs pubisher'':-
sSo So s1 las s sSSF ssn s
ony OF there's wi" win
Saving wood is much more In your line,
So drop your pen and get woodhorse for Valentine
To tat woman. who was 'dolized by q small
Fat and greasy, 1T for a museum show,
What kind Of food caused grow3
rhsSd iaten hogs il hall lie usual time
To barber. who formerly Fenian, and has
"views on the ''sltuatlOn'':-
Quite OF my wits I'll be when harbor
AGssoI SI nn oiled nns Gssssy
You think are handsome ana forget you're
To millIner, who likes go to the French ball.
Ny pretty miIner your bonnets are ip excellent taste
But want to married you'll have to make haste
Time Is fast passing, your wrinkles coming,
For husband OF some kind you'll have to be drumming
TO school teacher VINO thinks she can waltz
Your studied arts TO show your charms
Are all in vain, Tor no man warns;
| You should know that modest grace
| OFT overbalapces a homey face.
: Give ing-it will never earn your bread
/ And take to something useful them instead.
To drug clerk, who gives you prusslc acid for
tlncture OF vaierian:-
| Should suitors laox
| III take l would n dose OF ipecac;
| think that you would be like all your pills,
Which always make the patients and sometimes kills
| To matchmaker, who never gives ''uck":-
| Big-headed, lanky pendulum.
| There's nothing in your Uranium;
| Your spring Is broke-youre well wound up
| In everything that's stupid,
| And you will Lever be bound up
| Within the arms OF Cupid.
1t will be interesting to married men to give one
! quotation from poor old nen-pecked Pepys, who
writes relation to st. Valentines Day fOlOws
| 'This evening my wife did, with great pleasure,
SHOW NE HER STOCK or JEWELS.
increased Dy ring she nath made lately, as nv
Valentine's Gift THIS year, Turkey stone set with
diamonds. With this and what she mad she reckons
| that she hath about ESQ worth OF Jewels OF one
Kind or other: and am glad of 1t, Tor IL Is Mt the
| wretch should nave something to comfort herself
| WITH" In those days
THE WORD WRETCH WAS USED
| as q term OF endearment by husbands toward their
| wives. Owing TO the widespread dissemination OF
| Victoria Woodhull's doctrines many husbands at
the present day fall into the bad nabt Of using the
| term In Its literal sense.