The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-01-09
A Green One on his Travels.
BY MARK TRAIN.

NOL JIM had seen somewhat of the
~ world, and knew more or less of it's
ways but Col. Jack was from the back
settlements of the States, had led life of
aTduOus toll, and had never seen city
These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
projected visit to New York. Col Jack
80 see the sights, and Col. Jim to guard his
unsophistication from misfortune. They
reached San Francisco in the night, and
sailed in the morning Arrived in New
York, Col. Jack said
81 have heard tell of carriages all my life,
and now mean TO have ride in one
don't care what it costs. Come along"
They stepped out on the sidewalk, and
Col. jim called stylish barouche. But
Col. Jack said
"No sir None of your cheap John
turn-outs for me. I'm here to have good
time, and money amt any object. l mean
to have the nobbiest rig that's going.
Now here comes the very trick. Stop that
yaller one with pictures on it-don't you
fret-I'll stand all the expenses myself"
So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus,
and they got in. Said Col. Jack
can't it gay though? Oh. no, reckon
not Cushions, and windows, and pic
lures, till you can't rest. What would the
boys say if they could see us cutting a
swell like this in New York? BY George,
wish they could see u.s."
Then he put his head out of the window,
and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits me suits
yours truly, you bet you / want this
shebang all day. I'm on it old man Let
'em out Make 'em go! Wen make it
all right with you, sonnyv'
The driver passed his hand through the
strap-hole, and tapped for his fare-it was
before the gongs came into common use.
Col. Jack took the hand, and shook it cor
daily. He said
"You twig me old pard All right be-
tween gents. Smell of Mat and see how
you like it
And he put twenty-dollar gold piece in
the drivers hand. After moment the
driver said he could not make change.
"Bother the change! Ride it out. Put
it in your pocket"
Then to Col. Jim with a sounding on his
thigh:
"Aint it style though? Hanged if l
don't hire this thing every day for week. :"
The omnibus stopped, and young lady
got in Col. Jack stared for moment then
nudged Col. Jim with his elbow:
Don't say a word, " he whispered. "Let
her ride, if she wants to. Gracious, there's
room enough"
The young lady got out her portmonaie,
and handed her fare to Col. Jack.
"What's this for?'' said he.
"Give it to the driver, please"
'Take back your money, madam. We
can't allow it, You're welcome TO ride
here as long as you please, but this she
bangs chartered, and we can't let you pay
a cent"
The girl shrunk into corner bewidered.
An old lady with basket climbed in, and
prohered her fare.
Excuse me" said Col, Jack. YOU'RE
perfectly welcome here, madam, but we
can't allow you to pay. Set right down
there mum, and don't you be in the least
uneasy. Make yourself just as free as If
you was in your own turnout"
Within two minutes, three gentlemen,
two fat women, and couple Of children,
entered.
''Come right along, friends" said Col.
Jack don't mind us. This a free blow
out" Then he whispered to Col. Jim,
''New York amt no sociable place, don't
reckon---it amt no name for It'll.
He resisted every effort to pass fares to
the driver and made every one cordially
welcome The situation dawned upon the