The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1872-05-30
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
The CRATE gamc-pokc.

The CRATE gamc-pokc.
An editor says: "Wc are living
at this moment under absolute dos
potism.' We suspect he married
the wrong woman.
Little Io.seef, caused his father much grieI,
FOR he didn't know where to find him,
He ran ike shot from MIS-: rot,
And lefU his coat-tailS behind him.
fla spoonful Of yeast will raise
fifty cents worth Of -four, how much
will il take to raise funds enough to
buv another barrel with? Answer
may be handed in over the fence.
The local of the Kankakco Gazette
says that he does not depend upon
journalism for his daily bread, but
raises hens. Which moves the Dix
on Telegraph to ask whose hens he
raises.
SWEET SIsrER-"Now don't be a
cross boy-have this nice jam Ma
has left u.s." Cross boy--"Shan't
Don't like it'll Taint half as good
rs ifshe had forgotten her keys and
we'd prigged it."
The Norristown Pa.) Herald says:
London claims 100000 cats-which
is not q single cat too many to have,
in case England refuses to settle the
Alabama claims. Remember Paris
a chap who rooms up above the
eavos-trough impcrtinently remarks
that although the naturaIists make
no mention of India-rubber birds
he has seen doves that were gutter
perchers.
"What does the bee do?
Bring home honey.
And what does father DO!
Bring home money.
And what does mother uof
Lay out the money,
And what does baby do'
Eat up the honey"
Fashionable papas, who want t.
make u splurgc, put among Ihei
darling daughters presents chec s,
for $4,000, or $4,000, or $l0O,0oC
as the case may be, having take
the precaution before hand to go t
the bank and stop payment.
nWhcre did you say all those ma
vclous things happcned?" asked
gentleman of II Munchauson travelt
Who was telling his adventures.
don't exactly remember but | thln
most Of 'em happened in Russia
a should say 1t a M" remarked I'll
gentleman. ..#
An aristocratic lady, after AnXlo'
inquiry as to what would remoN
paint from her window'glaSS, W;
told that "elbow grease" was II
best thing known, Whoreupoh 81 81
naivly exclaimed: ooh! I'm so git
that have found out! wonder
they keep it at the apothecary,s.
A teacher questioning little 6o,
about the graduations in the scale
being, asked: "What comes next
mani" And horo q little shave
who was evidently smarting. una
adefcat in the previous question, Il
modiatc1y distanced all c9mpctllp
by promptly shouting: oils undo
shirt, ma'am!"
Henry Hummcll, of Decatur Il
nois has in his house a jar OF JeI
given to him by his gra,ndiatr
many years ago, made by the han
of Martha Washington, the. mott
of her country. Mrs. Washingt
desired to have no jars in her fal
ly, especially none OF her own i i
king, and so, like a faithful :"
gave the jelly away.
The introduction of the quest
of woman suffrage in the orc!
State Temperance Convention
disturbed a delegate that he spr'
to his feet and exclaimed: u tn
that the woman suffrage question
an outrage. One woman mas CO
into this Convention and klckeo
more fuss than all the other u
gates, and don't go ooNV ''
ting her talk so much
A colored man at Canton, Mis-
sissippi, lately wished to % XII l1aoso. a sr,
but not understanding the proccS
nicely, held the animal upon
railroad track for the locom?'lv;'
slaughter; the sheep escaped a,v WI
broken leg, but the dead boay
was picked up Immediately alter
on black wool, and wasn't {
mutton either.
Mrs. Partington entered inc oS :
of tho Probate Judge (callea Z
.an,00 and enquired in her olai l:,i
ones: "Are you the civil VII, l
"Do you wish to ,M insult !, me, .,,,nH@ maai @d
said the Judge. "Yes," rcPheo
amiable old lady; "my brother other,
detested, and left three cniluro"
Pm to be their cxecutlonor;
want to insult the civil vil'"n !
it." ...