Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1872-02-29
ODDS AND ENDS.

MOttO LOT Lille lnStrdHcc NoihP Pohics-
Never say die.'
A debt for which there is no attach
ment-the debt of nature.
Envious exchanges speak of the Ohio
metropolis as Swinecinnati.
If speech is silver and silence gold,
how much is dumb man worth.
By the same operation man may con-
tract debt and stretch his credit.
The most dangerous kind of fast liv-
ing-the life of railway brakesman.
They make shoes from the skin of q
walrus, but an eel is already perfect
slipper.
Sundry journals are discussing the
question: 'Can we cultivate rain?'
Doubtful; but we can raise thunder.
Using the truth with penurious fru-
gality,' is the latest attempt at calling
a man a liar without hurting his feel
ings.
1t is believed that the first one who
supplied the navy with salt provisions
was Noah, when he took Ham into the
ark
'Could little Jennie play on the pi-
ano for me?' No, tan't play but Aunt
Susie will. She said she hoped you'd
asked her.
A very singular matrimonial case re-
Gently happened in Essex county, Va.
A gentleman's second wife's two sons
married his third wife's two daughters.
If you like practical joking, just in
troduce two strangers, privately inform
ing each that the other is deaf; but
don't stand around.
Oregon housewives are said to define
soda to be that ere stuff which you put
in biscuits to make them get up and
hump themselves.
The Chicago papers say that the
warmest sympathy expressed for that
city was by Connecticut woman who
two strings of red-pep-
pers.
sWoman is delusion, madam ex-
claimed crusty old bachelor to witty
young lady. 'And man is always hug
ing some delusion or other,' was the
quick retort.
A little girl down east who was impa-
tiently waiting the tardy movement of
her mother, few Sabbath-mornings
since, cried out; Come, mamma, the
bells atOlin.'
A Southern California paper adver-
tise for young freckle-faced man that
won't back down with pair of saddle
bags pistol and bowie knife, to collect
for this Office. A large salary will be
paid.
A correspondent inquired of Horace
Greeley if gauno was good to put on
potatoes. He said it might do for those
whose tastes had become vitiated with
tobacco and rum, but he preferred gravy
and butter.
A Kansas paper states the case this
way s'NIr.--,o of Missouri, got 20
owning horses that did not belong TO
him, and the next thing he knew he
get his feet down to the ground.
He strangled."
A rich merchant named Hogg, once
person to bring him load
of corn in a stated time, which he failed
to do, and did not take it until the next
day after shat which he had promised.
The merchant as might be expected, re-
fused it. ''Well," replied the wagner,
''you are the firsy hog 1 ever knew to
refuse corn"
A drover, who sells his cattle by live
weight, always gives them as much wa
ter as they will drink before driving
them on to the scales. THAT he says,
lis what 1 understand by watering
stock
Mamma said little girl, whats
the meaning of book being printed in
l2mo?' why, my DEAR replied the
mother, 'it means that the book will be
published in twelve months.' Fact.
One evening in company, during con-
gentleman quoted the ex-
preston that man proposes and God
lisposes.' Yes said maiden present,
"a man proposed to me once; said no,
and have never seen him since; so
thought somebody had disposed of him.
Art received rather an awkward crit
icism from a free and easy young man
who recently met sculptor in social
circle, and addressed him thus: 'Er-er
so you are the man-er-that makes
-er-mud headsr And this was the
artists reply: 'Er-er-not all of EN-
| didn't make yours
A blacksmith brought up his son-to
whom he was very severe-to his trade.
One day the old man was trying TO har-
den cold chisel, which he had made OF
foreign steel, but he could not succeed.
il, father exclaimed the
Young one, IF that wont harden it,
don't know what willn
A Boston minister says he once
preached on The Recognition of Friends
in the Future and was told after SER
vice by hearer that it would be more
to the point to preach about the recog-
milton of friends here, as he had been in
the church twenty years and didn't
know any of its members.
A demure-looking chap hailed char
coal peddler with the query, Have you
got charcoal in your wagon? Yes, sir,
said the expectant driver, stopping
his horses. That's right, observed the
demure chap, with an approving nod;
always tell the truth and people VIII
respect YOU. And he hurried on,mueh
to the regret of the peddler, who was
getting out of the wagon to look for a
brick.
Lately a fine Newfoundland dog
walked into the school house on Poplar
street, Boston, entering one of the dress
ing rooms of the pupils, took down the
hat and coat of his young master, and
then gave an inquiring look at the chill
dren, among whom he failed to see the
owner of the hat and coat. Walking
into another room on the same floor he
found the object of his search and went
up and affectionately kissed him. This