The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-03-14
THINGS WISE ANDlOTHERWISE.
Happiness is internal, not external.

Happiness is internal, not external.
If we would have powerful minds, We
must think.
A good medicine after too much duck 10
a quack pill, We are told.
In Chicago, the other morning, young
man named Phoenix arose from the hashes
Of the Briggs House.
The last sensation novel is, we hear, to
be entitled " The Poisoned Gum Drop; or,
the Candy Woman Revens'."
1t is a mooted point among Irish theolc-
gians, whothe- or not Abraham miscegen-
a,ed when he fell in love with an Agar.
A Pennsylvania ladies man says he is
never satisfied that his lady friends uLder-
stand a kiss, unless he has it from their own
mouths.
\ Young lady wants to know whether .
girl may b, sure man loves her unutter-
ably when he sits in her presence FOR an
hour without speaking.
\ man who was told by a Clergyman to
remember Lots wife, replied that he had
trouble enough with his own, without re-
Numbering other men wives.
A genius for figures computes that the
weight of the salt in the oceans of the
world is just about A. ,0i0, 900, 900, 900, 900
tons. That salt savors of naught.
A "sarkastic' radical sheet, says the
small pox is raging in Washington, and
wants to know if Grant will take it. lIe
might, if he thought the scabs would sell.
\ temperance editor, in drawing stten-
ton to an article against ardent spirits, in
one of his papers, says: =" For the Effects
of incompetence see our inside
Glow did you learn that graceful atti-
tude p asked a gentleman of q fellow
leaning in maudln way against post.
" / We been practis.ng at the glass" was
the reply,
A minister once prayed:-" o Lord, We
thank Thee for the goodlv number here
tonight, and that thou also art here,
notwithstanding the inclemency Of the
weather.
An excellent mother, in writing to one
of her sons on the birth of his eldest child,
savs:-'' Give him an education, that his
life may be useful; teach him religion,
that his death may be happy"
Is this seat ucJccuped ?" asked an c1-
quisitc of IN elderly lady Of rustic design
in the cars at Norwalk, Saturday evening.
I" don't know" said she hastily, running
her hands with great deal of feeling er
the surface. :" 1t feels mostly like plush,
but you can't always tell.
Mister how 10 YOU sell sugar to day ?"
Comfy twenty cents a poand, sir"
Cant give it. I'll drink my coffee with
out sugar, and kiss my wife for sweetening.
Good day, sir Good day. When YOU
get tired of that kind Of swee teniag, please
call around again Il WILL lie called
next day.
A fair haired, love-sick youth in Ohio
presented his girl with a pair of those
new tangled metallic garters on Christmas
III thought they were the latest thing in
bracelets, and he o. ly disceve, cd his mis-
t IKE upon requesting her to "try them on
lie does not so there any more.
A little boys grief upon being refused
permission to attend the Danbury Opera
House, was in part assauged by the assur-
ance from his mother that if he would dry
his tears he might 60 up street in the after
noon and see his father have tooth pull
ed.
A Southern paper advertises as follows:
Wanted, at this office, an able bodied,
hard featured, bad-tempered, MOTTO be put
off and not to.be -backed-down, frecklcd-
face. young man to collect for this paper;
must furnish his own horse, saddle bags,
pistols, whiskey, bowie knife and cowhide
We VIII furnish the accounts. To such we
promise constant and laborious employ
mcnt.