The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1872-07-27

Oh OuI journey uP TIC West SlOe Oh inc
Lake.
fro BE Continued
Kissing Ones Own Minister.
From the Chicago Tribune.
There has been an ''unpleasantness" in
Cincinnati, in which Mr.. Bond INDUCED in
few moments Of lively Ratchet practice ap-
on the occiput of the Rev. Mr.. Thompson,
of Kansas, for kissing Mrs. Ssllie Shingles
decker. Sallie had been courtcd by Bond
and converted by Thompson. Under the
sway Of Thompson, she had given her heart
to religion, and, under the influence of
Bond, she had given the same article to
him. Though she was thus under double
bonds, she could not keep the peace.
Mr.. Bond, for greater convenience in pur.
suing his amatory addresses, had contracted,
about three months before, for full board Ut
the table of Mrs. Shingledecker. If the rent
ing of single lodgings by Mr.. Pickwick from
the susceptible Widow Barde!l proved his
desire 10 lead that lady to the hymcneal
altar, far more did Mr. Bonds engagement
of full board with Mrs. ShiD.lcdccker warn
I'LL lovers, and Methodist ministers, that he
was deliberately besieging the right and
left veDtricles of that fair widow. Mrs.
Shingledecker had ut first warned Mr.. Bond,
with affcctionate candor, that she would not
marry him, SO long AZ there was any chance
ct carrying her charms to higher market.
This famed the tender passions Of the Bond
to fever heat.
MI. Bond says Though after indulging in
hatchet-practice, he is, of course, iunaiic.
aud wholly unreliable) that of late his
addresses had been successful. Mrs. Single
decker, being on the sunny side Of FORTY.
became persuaded That Band would he her
best hold, X not her last grip. So she
smiled upon him, and he was happy. When
we consider how often Mrs. ShingIedecker
mad the privilege Of smiling upon Bond, we
can arrive at small part of the data for
computing his bliss.
In handing the Bond bis coffee at break
fast, she could ask him mOJesily if he
would "have it sweet and with cream" and
accompany the beverage with smile full of
the flavor Of vanilla. And Is Sallie, in spite
of her prudence, had taste for osculatory
enj"ymen's, it stands to reason that she
morning, to bis daily toll, which consisted
in turning off other peoples gas. without
one of those sallies of amatory lip.practice
which are 90 eclcctric to tie susceptible
lover. Into this little Eden Of connubiai
bliss, now in full pinteathcr. enters the
Reverend and remorseless Thompson, of
Kansas. Mrs. Shingicdecker had, 6.ce be-
fore, been fatally subjected to his attractive
wiles under the most dangerous circun,-
stances. Thompson had preached the
funeral sermon of the late lsmented Single
decker, her first. Next to the sexton who
buries man, the minister who breaches his
requiem stands highest in the esteem of bis
mourning relict. In this case. The relicl
kissed Mr. Thompson, or Thompson kissed
the relict, As thing Of course The report
ut the affair, in the Cincinnati papers, as
sures US that lit Was not strange that the
minister should kiss the lady, q his rela.
tons with her and her family were of the
purest and most ultimate character, and, q
she sought to bestow the kiss upon him,
there was nothing improper in bis accepting
it." Certainly not! Since the cccentricity
Of Joseph, there is no recorded case where
In gentleman has been justified in fefus>
ing q favor which . lady might seek u
bestOw upon him. As most Methodist
ministers are gentlemen, rules Of politsness
can make no exception Of their cases,
Clearly the Reverend Thompson was bound
In honor to kiss Mrs. Shinyledecker, and IN
doing % he acted like man.
There was . periodiciiy to these visits,
however, that alarmed Bond. The Rever-
end Thompson had come To Cincinnati to
get an appointment o b0Ok-distributOr to
Louis. Mrs. Shingledecker could not give
him the appointment She was not bishop
Or IN elder. Yet he came straight to her
house. He came daily. He dined there.
He dropped in between times And when,
he came and when he left, ana while he
stayed, the intimacy and exalted purity Of
his relations to Mrs. SalIie could not be
adequately expressed without gentle draw.
ing. and natural physical and psychlcal
Ogling Of each toward the other. Perhaps
he folded her in his embrace, - Coeridge
did bis 0enevteve. II wss the periodici'y
aud prolixity of these osculstory refresh.
msnts that excited the savage jealousy Of
Bond. His had been wild, irregular life,
on sea and shore. His tsstes we're narrov'
baee. and exclusive He did not perceive
that Sallie, after kissing the ThOmpoOn into
tremor Of pleasurable sensations, could re-.
turn % his dear beloved and betIUthed Bond
just . good y new. His was . lower and
gr0velling nature. True, he was also 1
church member. But on the woman Ques.
ton he was fatally conservative. He repre-
eented tho tyrant man, and not the apostle Of
harmonial pr0greas He had not read
Fourier, or the Cady Stanton.
Hence he became insane. He bought q
new Ratchet, and bursting isto the perlor
while the loving pair were In their tender
est embraces, and while, In their heavenly
rapture, Il nearly seemed 70 them tha& they
had creased the Jordan and were safe Ia the
Promised Land. Mn. 6allie, Of course, faint
Cd. Then Mr.. Bond begsa Me Ratchet
practice on the cerebrum u ~ Reverend
Elder: HIS conduct was sxaspesaiiue, bat
the thickness and hardness Of the Thomps
son skall Got The better Of the softer metal
several dents, but those In the Ratchet Wsre
the deeper. When the practice ended.
Thompson walked to . drug store and |
bound up his wounda From slithese fscea. |
We conclude hat Bond and his hstclet were
Dnft, and that the Reverted Thompeon |
deserves ths sympathy Of III who recocnise