American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-06-29
Advertising for Sealed Proposals.

A CHAP issued leap-year invitation,
and sent the following notice to the pa
pers for publication
TO CONTRACTORS.
The undersigned, feeling the need of
some one to find fault with and grumble
at, when business matters go wrong, and
being lonely with no one to hate him;
and whereas, having arrived at the proper
age, he is therefore determined to crawl
out"
Sealed proposals will be received until
two O'Clock D. M on the 31st of Decem-
Der, 1872.
Applicant must possess beauty, or its
equivalent in currency.
She must possess a sweet and forgiving
disposition, and when one check is kissed,
turn the other-that IS, if the right man
is kissing.
She must not chew gum.
Nor wear long dresses in the street.
Nor frequent sewing circles.
Nor go around begging for charitable
purposes.
Nor read the papers first in the morn
ing.
Nor talk when am sleepy.
Nor trade off my clothes to wandering
Italians, for flower vases.
Nor borrow money from my vest pocket
when l am asleep.
Nor hold a looking glass over my face
at such times, to make me tell all l know.
She must believe in sudden attacks of
chills, and make allowances for their eff
feet on the nervous system.
When the "old bear comes home
from "a few friends" rather atfectionate,
she must not take advantage of his state
and wheedle him into trips to watering
places.
And above all, she must not, on such
MT no no
prepares for his "poor head"
She must sit up for him, when he hap
pens to be detained to a late hour on his
committee.
A lady possessing the foregoing qualifi-
cations, positive and negative, can hear
of something to her advantage by adj
dressing the undersigned, and inclosing
stamp.
Ali proposals must be accompanied
with satisfactory evidence of the ability
of the applicant to support husband in
the styleto which he has been accustomed.
A New JERSEY editor publishes the
following "notis to the publik": "No motifs
will be took from this date, hereafter
ward, ov letters that haint got post
office onto them. Don't write only on one
side of the manuscript, and don't write on
that. Don't send manuscript unless
YOU can read it after it gets dry. We
pay all the way uphill, from ten cents to
one dollar, for contributions, according
to the length and settlements made
promptly at the end of the next ensuing
year Poetry and prose pieces are re-
spectfully solicited. The highest market
prices paid for awful railroad smashes
and Opponents with another mans wife.
No swearing aloud in our paper"
THERE was once a young widow and
she married doctor. Her husband had
had a very serious and difficult case upon
his hands, but in course of time, to the
surprise of everybody, he succeeded in
conuuering the disease, and his patient
was pronounced cured. The joy and
pride of the doctors wife can not be de-
scribed With tears in her eyes, she said:
90 Charlesl l do really think you are
the very best doctor in the whole world.
You ought to be known everywhere.
Such a man as you should have a world
wide reputation. OH if l had only known
you five years ago, l believe my poor
Thomas would have been living now"-
Hearth and home.
"WELL, my little man, what are you
going to do for a living when you grow
up?" inquired Il gentleman of little boy,
the other day. so, l am going to be a
lawyer" was the reply, 81 believe, l