The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-08-24

Bulwer says that poverty is only An
idea" It's very bad idea.
WHRN persons are Seaaidk what do they
most dssirel To feel sea-cure, Of Couus.
MUSIc, says Auerback, washes away
from the soul the dust Of everyday life
A PEORIA dentist announces that he ex-
tracts teeth with great pains. Most den
tists DO.
HE who receives good turn should
never fOrgst it; he who does one should
nsver remember IL.
He who is never satisfied with others.
may learn If he chooses, that nobody Ia
ever satisfied with him.
Ir Is with narrow souIed people, a. with
marrow -necRed bottles the Ieas thew have
in them the more noise they make in pour
ing " out A
Mr.. BAKER, of HiawathA, an impartial
patriot, has nAnned his twins Greeiy and
0rAat He has aAready begun using
iong branch ON Grant
\ 'CAN YOU tell me how the old devil isy'-
asked an irreveren* fellow Of clergyman.
MY friend, you must keep your own
A~y ANS'Auf was Ahe reply
A silly country squire asked merry-An-
drew why he played the fooll "For the
same reason that you do. answered he;
for want-you for want If wit, and for
want Of money.
THE faculty Of accommodating ones self
10 the reverses of life, and of extracting
honey out Of the bitter things Of this
world, 4 u be not true philosophy is some
thing almost IA ethcacious
I'VE will meet in heaven. husband
dear, is the arfectIonate epitaph which an
OHIO woman has had inscribed upon the
tombstones Ot each uf three departed hus-
bands. Trouble ahead in that family,
certain.
SHOW me the man you homer; know
by that symtom, better than Nv any other.
what kind Of man you y. urself are. For
you show me there what your ideal of man
hood is; what kind Of You long lnexpressi-
bly, to be. Ca,Igi,
LEARNING viii accumulate wonderfully Il
you add little everG day Do not wait
tor long period Of leisure Pick up the
book and gain one new idea, if no more.
Save that one and add another as soon Az
Nou Ncsdi- rays lIic Olu NcOICn AtIHpe
Many little makes a mickle"
PEoPLE Who honor their fathers and
their mothers have the comforting promise
that their days shall be long in the land.
They are not sufficiently numerous to make
the life insurance companies think it worth
their while to offer them special rates.
JOSH Billings says that the difference
bet "a hInnnAr aud = Al
when a man puts down a bad umbrella
and takes up good one, he makes a min-
take; but when he puts down a good one
and takes up bad one, he makes blum
der.
KANSAS advertisements " Engaged
Miss Anna Gould 10 John Candall, City
Marshal Of Leavenworth, rs. From this
time henceforward and forever Miss
Anna Gould becomes a widow-aI young
WHEN BARNUM's cannibals offered ore of
the spectators At the show in Louisville $40
II he would give hun ms little boy On the
half-shell for breakfast this morning. MY
little boy is not for sale replied the fond
parent, but I've got stall-ted mother-in-
law yOu can have for half the money"
y. When time is it. my dear = asked =
wife Of her husband. whome she suspected
Of being drunk, but who was doing his
best to look sober. We'll. DAZZLING. / can't
tell, cause you see. there Are two hands
to my watch, and each points 70 q differ
ent hgure, and don't know which to be-
heve
Now Johnny, said a venerable Lady
t. her siXyear-old nephew, who was per
slstently denying an offence Of which she
accused him. ~ know you are not telling
me the truth; ! SEE u IN your eye Pull
ing down the lower lid ~ the oraQn that
had - nearly betrayed his veraeity. John
ny eIultingly replied, You can't tell any
thing about 1t, aunt, that ~, dlirags trds y
htHe dreaIed ~
The Evansville. Ind, Journal saws
" story reached vs. yesterday Of the
death bed confess. ~ # man who. about
year ago, preten t,-i that he woke IN one
morning and futn nls wife dead by has
side. The MAI. ported u be very
stedy ID his habits. and no word reaches
US Of any disagreement with his wife but
after year If agony. he confessed To !. wo-
man who was with him in his last hours
that he had smothered his wife. and that
ever since she had haunted him-her face
being continually before his eyes reproacb
ing him for the murder. He expressed
himself as willing and anxious 10 die. 10
escape the misery he endured Our own
recollection Of the case is that the coroners
Jury returned A verdict II death from
heart disease ou the testamony If the hus-
band, but that no post mortem was held.
the urglngs of two physicians to the con-
trsry notwithstanding
HANDS Across Parsou W-vas the
Congregational minister at A-two Or
three generations ago. On one occasion
he wac called T. marry a rustic couple
According 10 his custom, he began with
Please JOIN your right hands. There
upon the groom with his right takes the
brides lett Please Join your right
hands. The groom. little confused
lets - his grasp, and with his left hand
takes the brides right '' Your righf hands
please JOIN your rigtt hands The groom
thinks a moment, lets ~ his grasp again.
| and turning around seiZes the bride with
both hands, her rignt With his left hgr
eft with his right. and exclaimed Nor
=, got her
TO Make Good Collector.
be On time to a minute when the debtor
| says come tumOrruW Al n p'cIork