davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

Moore, of the RWdI Neto YORKER, was
sitting in his Office one afternoon, some
years ago, when a farmer friend came
in and said -
"Mr, Moore, l like your paper, but
times are so hard that cannot pay for
it,"
as that so, friend Jones? Pm very
sorry to hear that you are so poor; If
you are 50 hard run will give you my
paper
"Oh, no ! l can't take it as gift"
"Well, then, let's see how we can fix
it. You raise chickens l believe"
"Ycs, few, but they don't bring
anything, hardly"
"Don't they? Neither does my paper
cost anything, hardly. Now l have d
proposition to make TO you. will con
tinue your paper, and when you go home
you may select from your lot one chick
en- and call her mine. Take good cal
of her and bring me the proceeds, ,wheth
er In eggs or chickens, and we will cal
| IL square"
"All right, Brother Moore" and th'
fellow clucked at what he thought ;
capital bargain. lie kept the contrac
strictly, and at the end Of the year foun'
that he had paid four prices for his pa
per. lie often tells the joke himself
and says he never had the face to say h
| was too poor to take paper from tina
day.-MOdel Farmer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
A Sphere for Women.

Women are naturally good econo-
mists. They are apt to understand how
to makelimited means go as far as posi-.
BILE. Ifa man and wife are united in
the desire to get rich, the man is likely
to think more about earning 1.-THE mon.
ey; the wife will attach more impor-
tance to saving 1t.
Almost every American earns money
enough to be well off, and in time 10 be
rich. If he does not become 50, it is, In
many cases, because he las no wife, or
because he does not take her into his
counsels. He is full of enterprise, and
makes an income. If he does not pros.
per, IL Is often because he docs not hold
on to it. His wife, very likely, has the
faculty of conversation which he lacks
and If he has the shrcwdncss to enlist
her in his plans, he will find his fortune
made.
In continental Europe, book keeping
Is part of the education Of Il we'll.
taught farmers daughter, and his wifo
presides over the finances of the csiab.
lishment. Ia England, woman's apti.
tude in the promotion of maternal pros.
pority is too little thought of and "A
woman who, as girl, was untaught in
respect tn judici0u5 economy, is an ex-
pensire wife. Her husband, perhaps,
Keeping her in ignorance Of his finances,
purpossly. If he is prosperous, she
becomes accustomed TO plenty of mon
ey, and ill-prepared for reverses. Ifhe
is not prosperous, she has to bear tho
pinching3 of poverty without know.
Ing how TO help him to avoid tho
pressure.
Marriage could be easier and happier
If young women were taught the prin.
ciples ofaccountkeeping, and system.
attic habits in respect OF finances and if
the young husband would take his wife
into his confidence, and make the in
come and expenditures and the ac-
emulation Of the first few hundred
dollars, matter Of common in
terest.
A woman of average intelligence and
good sense can make the fortune of q
man whose love she enjoys, and who
will give her for the purpose fill share
in the responsible control Of the income
Of the household. She will not gener-
ally be able to enter into his business
plans /; but if she knows his income
(whether wages, salary, or current prof
its) and his personal expenses, and can
thus foresee what the household has to
rely on, she will Enthusiastically be
ready to ''cut the coat accor ding TO the
CLOTH" and will usually be more scru.
pulous than he to lay aside something
every season ss the beginning of their
fortune.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
A Good Story.

The following is not entirely new, but
| in the skillful hands of Mr.. Watterson,
OF the Louisville Courier, 1t receives
some establishment that makes 1t
worthy of repetition
When the late General John A. Quit
man was running against Henry s..
Foote for Governor of Mississippi, in
1851, he, not unreasonably or unnatur-
ally, mounted his war. horse, ,brandished
his sword in the air, and fought his
cam paigns over again. He made a bat
tie field of every stump in the State,
from Holly Springs TO the Louisiana
line. "Fellow citizens" said he, "
have been, all my life, soldier in the
service of liberty and my country
When the bugle call of freedom re-
sounded in Texas raised a command
and rushed TO the front, sharing the
glories of San Jacinto and the Lone
Star. When the tocsin of war was
heard upon the Rio Grande l again
obeyed the summons, and proceeded at
once to the scene of action. AT Palo
Alto and Resaca de la Palma / was in
the thick of the fight at Monterey and
Buena Vista, before the walls of Chep-
ultepec, all along the line ofTaylor and
Scott, breasted the storm of shot and
shell, until at last, with my own hands,
L placed the glorious Star-spangled
Banner upon the halls of the Montezu-
mas" General Quitman was an ear
nest speaker, brave and true soldier,
and man OF handsome personal ap-
pearance and bearing. All that he said
of himself was true, and, spoken among
his native people, many of whom had
shared his glories and his tolls, it was
not out of place or season. 1t made a
visible stir among the masses. Wher.
ever he went he produced an effect
But, on certain occasion, when the
war feeling was apparently stronger,
aud more general than usual, he OBJ
served an old man in the crowd quite
overcome by feeling, sobbing violently,
and crying out every now and then,
"Amen," and "Oh, my Quitman."-
When the General had finished, he
sought out this old man, and accosted
him. my friend" said he, "you SEEM
ed to he moved by what l said" The
old man declared that he had never
been so moved in his life, and then
drying his eyes, he said:
"And you went and fit the Mexi-
cans for Texan liberty, General, did
you?"
"Yes," said Quitnan, II did"
Sand you shared in the glories of
San Jacinto and the Lone Star, did
you ?"
"Yes l did that, too"
"And when the toscin Of war sound
on the Rio Grandc you flew to tn @
call of your country ,and passed through
all the battles of Taylor's and Scott's
line until the Stars and Stripes were on
the halls of the Montezumas, did you a?
"Yes, my old friend, have told you
nothing but the truth"
"My noble Quitman My bra We
@ uit man! You have done enough for
your country. 1t is time that your
country gave you rest. IShaU cote for
FOote J"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

We should never allow ourselves to
forget that nature intended us for warm
blooded animals. In this climate of sur
prising changes, we are very apt to for
get it, especially in the fall and spring.
AT such seasons, when we freeze and
simmer on alternate days, there is en-
gendered in us a certain recklessness,
which takes no heed of cold or heat,
dampness or dryness, and receives all
tempera lures with the same front, gen.
orally delenceless one. 1t is certainly
very troublesome to change front as
often as the weather, and there is a
prejudice in American minds against
such change, which has great deal to
do with the rapidly increasing popula-
ton of our graveyards. People like to
have some stability Of purpose, and if
they can have it in nothing else they
will try to have it in their dress. They
will not make change until they
mako permanent one for tho season.
No matter how hot it is in the spring,
they will wear spring clothes until sum.
mer and no matter how cool it may be
in August, summer clothes must be
worn until fall shall actually set in.
Thus ofttimes suddenly and with sad
results we find ourselves approaching
| the condition of the fish, and lizards
for the chill, that alert fc erunner of dis
ease, is ever ready, in our climate, to
take advantage of circu nstances.
We suppose that the e are no people
in the world so Indifferent to the de-
mandS Of the weathor-especially cool
weather-as Americans, and one reason
of this is that very many of us are
ashamed TO keep warm. To wrap up
and button up, and to put down win
dUws whenever there is a chilling
change in the air,srgues, to most minds
a namby pamby eagerness to be well
that isrepugnaut to the hardy American
soul. So, rather than be laughed at, We
shivcr We prefer tragedy, the grave ia
the ridiculOus.-HOme and Society, 1,
ScribHer'S for NCUemJer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

A MYsTERY.-Two darkies had
bought piece of pork and Sam, hay
ing no place to put his in, trusted the
whole to julius keeping. Next morn
ing they met, when Julius said:
"a most strange thing happened nj
my house last night, Sam. All nYSi''y
TO me"
"Au' Julius, what was da,9"
"Woll Sam, this mornin' went down
into the celler for TO get piece of hog
for breakfast, and l put my hand down
into the brine, and felt all around, bat
no pork dere-all gone-eouidn't tell
what be went with 1t; 50 turned up
de bar'l, aud Sam, true as preachin',
de rats eat hole clear froo de bottom
oh de bar'l, and dragged do pork all
/ out"
"Why didn't de brine run out ofde
hole p said Sam.
| "Ah, Sam, dat's de mystery"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

COL. DEM. -. VOL. XXXVI-. NO. 81.

The Jockey threw the plum up the
captain aimed, there was flash and
report, and the plum came squirting
down, bursted in many pieces.
An involuntary bravo escaped the lips
ofthe lockers on, The Major turned
pale as death.
The captain did not speak another
word about the plum shot, but quietly
reloaded his pistol in presence of the
second, and went back to take his
place.
"Shoot, Major" cried the captain.
The second wanted TO interfere, but the
captain put him pack, and shouted a
little rough-"shoot, Major"
The Major shot, and missed. "Shoot
again, Major; you aimed mlscrably.
Should fall 1t will be lucky, not alone
for you, but for all of these gentlemen,
because / intend TO make you, one and
all, look into the muzzle of my pistol"
The Major raised his pistol and aim
ed, but everything seemed swimming
before his eyes. His nerves were un-
steady.
The captain looked him straight in
the face. At last he said, "Yestcrday
was your teacher in joke to-day I will
have 90 be your teacher in earnest. You
holdyou weapon too high. You will
never hit me-"
The Major shot and missed, and hot
perspiration could be seen on tho now
anxious countenances.
Then the captain raised his pistol and
aimed, and-lowered it again. "Major,"
spoke the captain, "you are miserable
creature. inquired about you yester-
day, and every one speaks i'll of you.
In two minutes you will have ceased to
live. Now / will be your teacher, and
command you to pray to the great and
retaliating God, and ask his forgiveness
for your sins. Pray that all the people
whom you have wropged may forgive
you, and God will heed.
All took off their hats and the jockey
his cap. With his eyes uplifted toward
heaven the captain prayed fervently
in behalf of the Major. The stern mans
prayer had touched all. The Majors
heart beataudibly. He was now on that
bridge which separates life from death.
"Amen !" came from all lips. Oh, the
plum had touched all hearts. All put
their hats on again. The hour of,death
had come. The Major had not a single
drop of blood in his countenance. He
trembled so violently thathe was hard.
ly able to stand erect.
In order to end his misery the cap.
tain aimed quickly and lowered hispis-
tol, handed it to the jockey and said,
"The man is not worth charge of pow.
DOR" and left.
The next evening he appe ared again
dressed in black, in the cafe, but no one
disturbed him.
The Major, Of course, saw himself
compelled to resign his position in
the army.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
u1NKLEY KNITTING MACHINE

THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
USEl HAS kUT ONE EEEDLEl A
CHILD CAN RUN TT
Designed especially for the use Of families, and
aides who detire TO knit for the market. VIII
do every stitch of the knitting in a stock ing,
widening and narrowing readily as by hand.
Are splendid for wolsteds and fancy work,
TAXING FIVE DlFFkRENT KINDS OF
STlTCHl Are very easy 10 manage and not
liable to set out OF ORDER Every Family should
have one.
We want an Agent in every town to introduce
and sell them, 10 whom we offer the most liberal
Inducements. Send for our Circular and Sample
Stocking. Address
HfNKLEY KNITTING MACHINE Co,
nov. lO,'7l-ly. Bath, Me-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

A TOAD UNDRESSING. Audubon re-
lates that he once saw toad undress-
ing himself. He commenced by press.
ing his elbows hard against his sides,
and rubbing downwards. After few
smart rubs his hide began to burst opel
along his back. Ha kcpl rubbing until
he worked all his skin in!o folds on his
sides and hips ; and then grasplug onn
hind Lex with his hands, he hauled Off
one leg. ofhis pants the same as any
body would then stripped of the 9th
er hind leg in the same way. He then
took his cast off skin forward between
his fore legs into his mouth aud swal-
lowed it then, by raising and lower
ing bis head he stripped of
| his skin underneath, until it came 10
his fore-legs, then, ,grasping one Of those
with the opposite hand, by single
motion of the head, and while swallow
lug, he drew it from the neck and
| swallowed the whole.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
Miscellaneous.

Vide note TO first verse.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
POetical.
A Romance Of Newport.

walked by moonlight on the shore
Where Newport's ramparts rise
The Dolly Warden dro s. she wo @,
And she had lovely eyes,
But say l havu't mentioned yet
That "sho" was some ono that mot.
Her hair was yellow as the gold,
Her check was like tho rose,
And poetry can ue'er unfold
The Rraces of her nose
The Muse admits It with a shidg,
sho has no smile for pug"
met her, as 1 said before,
Where Newport,s 8 rampartst rise;
We met by moonlight on the shore
Twas night as you'll surmise,
because you In general way
Don't meet with moonlight much by day
She didn't speak. Wo never spoke.
Weuo'er shall speak again,
Nay, smile not this is not Joke
state the fact with palu,-
We'd uc'er been iutroduccdaud so
There was an end of IL you know.
IT'S over So and such Is life,
AS every Que allows,
Aud was walking with my wife,
And she was with her spouse;
Her spouse the butcher, who--tho thief
Asks fifty cents apouud for beef.
Aud can but observe once moro,
Where Newport railparts rise,
strolled by moonlight on the shore,
Aud met my butchers eyes
And Thought theu--I think so still
had not paid my butchers bill.
" never saw any ramparts at Newport, but II
)unds bcauiLul.
tSee last note.
Vide note TO first verse.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
A STATE RULED BY WOMAN

A STATE RULED BY WOMAN
Amoag the Holland possessions there is
a remarkable little State which, in its
constitution and the original customs of
Its inhabitants, surpasses the boldcst
dreams of American emancipation
ladies. Upon the island ottawa, between.
the cities of Batavia and Samarang, lies
the little kingdom of Bantam. Although
tributary to Holland, it is an indepen.
dent State, politically without impor-
ance, yet happy, rich, and since time
immemorial governed and defend
ed by woman. The sovereign is indeed
man, but all the rest of the govern
ment belongs to the fair sex. The King
is entirely dependent upon his st,to
council, composed of three women. Tho
highest authorities, all State officers,
court functionaries, military commtn.
ders,and soldiers are, without exception,
of the female sex. The men are agricu,
turists and merchants. The body guard
of the King is formed of the female elite
These amazons ride in the masculine
style, wearing sharp steel points instead
of spurs. They carry pointed lance,
which they swing very gracefully, aud
als'' nn5ket, which is discharged at
full ,tilop. The throne is inheritahr
by tie eldest son, ana in case the King
dies without issue hundred elected
amazons assemble, in order to choo-'
a successor from among their own sans.
The chosen one i5 then proclaimed law
full king. The capital city OF this littlr
State lies in one of the most picturesque
parts of the island, in a fruitful plain,
and is defended by two well-kept fort
resses.-FrOm "Are americans Less
Healthy than Earopeans?" in November
Ga1ary.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

TIE New York "MaU' tells the fol-
lowing nice little dog story; san
apothecary, in .Somervile, Mass, has
Il Scotch terrier which had thesingular
fortune good or bad, to be brought up
in Il family Of kittens, aud he retains
such AN affection for his early play
mates that he seizes every kitten he
can find and tenderly carries it home.
As they are generally claimed or sent
back, he is engaged in continued ef-
fort to accumulate family Of kittens,
10 make his home happy"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01

Executors or Administrators Notice. SEQ
Auditors or Asslgnee's Notice, $3.50.
Local notices, twenty cents line.
Cards in tho "Buslnoss Directory oolnmp,
$500 per year for the FIRST two lines and 81 OOfor
each additional line.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

One inch, twelve lines or It's equivalent in
Nonparei typel one on two insertions, el.50 three
insertions. f2O0
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-11-01
Miscellaneous.
n e N T l s Il II Y.

II. G. HOVER, DENTIST,
Respectfully offers his professional services TO
the ladies and gentlemen of Bloomsburg and vi
cinity. He is preparedto attend to all the vari.
GUS operations in the line of his profession, and
ls provided with the latest improved PoRCELAlE
TEETH which will he inserted gold plating
silver and rubber base to look as well asthe nat.
ural teeth. Teeth extracted by all the new and
most approved methods, and all operations on
the teeth carefully and properly attended to,
Residence and Office few doors above the
Court House, same side.
Bloomsbury, JRn.17l--ly
The sun., 1872-03-27
spain. Irrcprc.sibIe Conflict.

MADRID, Mar.h ~. The report that the Span
i'l irgarcs Dvroua and Araptes have been ordered g.
Nruwu,, io demand satisfaction FOR an insult offered
" rlIs tHnsu proves tu Dee uufuundtd The vessels
az "r,rr.l go Havana.
The sun., 1872-03-27
&ors,s ano Carriages.

EOlsts Hllo VallldgtS'
NOR SALEA handsome. dark gray Canadian
i pony siI years old suitable fui butcher, milk or
bakers wagon price tS. Inquire at '' west Sd st.
HORSES for sale cheap At 5li West 18Th st. from
t5luP.
TINO nne horses for sale cheap, suitable FOR country
or express wagon. SlMMs, 81 tth aN. I'd floor.
NAGONS for sale cheap express and eroccry
w wagons, Platform. one hahurs and one bust.
wagon and secondhand bugges, at 70 spring st.,
corner Clarke,
WAGONS for snle.-One light road, one light one
w medium one heavy express at IS! Hud.9a ST.
J WRIGHT
= GOOD horses, suitable for All kinds Of work to be
- sold cheap, Apply at % 30 ST.
The sun., 1872-03-27

prrsunal autitrs.

~. soldiers enlisted before Aug g. ls6i for years
~ and NidOWs, can get th bounty. T.. i. BROOK,
late Of L $, sanitary Commission Agency. III Nassau 81
STRICTI Il ~, nstula, and piles radically cured with
- ont knife caustC, detention from business dis
of the generAtNc organs and all important cases,
HENRY A. DANIELS, NJ. D., iH Lexington av
FINO THE VICTIMS Of the ferry hont wcstncld.-
There will b. meeting on SUNDAY, March 70. ~ o.
+ NJ All are requested TO attend. p. MOBRlSO'.
j. RRGAN, Secretary, thalrailu.
WHEREAS, my wife Augusta hls '.' .H
w board without Just cause, I W..'. 4l . ..I7
against trusting her my account, ~ viii pay 40
March d. isi! JOHN PETERSON.
The sun., 1872-03-27
Rtd fstatt
. - .s..-.s.ssss. .-AeN - = ..~~~N
'IuIE FIFTH AvENuE JOURNAL.
u no. .. OUT TODAY. NO. 3.
(lHEAP FARMsi FREE HONEST
on LINZ TnE
UNION PACIFIC RAILROAD.
NtnI 6etal,

land grant Of ie,pOyu acres OF the best Farming
and Mineral Lands In America.
100000 Acres In Nebraska, In the Great Platte Valley
the Garden of the West, now for sale.
These lands are IN the central portion Of the United
states the is degree Of North Latitude the central
line Of the great Temperate Zone Of tho American Con
tlncnt and for grain growing and stock raising
passed by any IN the United States.
CHEAPER IN PRICE, more favorable terms given.
and more convenient to market than be found else.
where.
FREE HOMESTEADs FOR ACTUAL SETTLERS.
The best locations for colonies soldiers entitled to
Homestead of sj Free passes to purchasers Of
land
send for new descriptive pamphlet. with new maps,
published In English. German swedish. and Danish.
mailed free everywhere. Address
q. F. DAVIS.
Land Commissioner, U. p. X. n. Co.,
Omaha. Nrb
The sun., 1872-03-27
a TrrNTIONt Inn I.no lcccptou.

N l
."H ILNAhp IuEliEkEQCAl.'
tutty ruf.'rrs NJ Nl-tur, and our you marry.
SHE TELLS VIM INIttINu tlMAlNIN.'
INt- 'u', 100 lowe and lls'u.ts, shows uhcuts,'A
h.s. together those lul- separated, Causrs spHcdy
marriage. lii "r't i0if ,tn"t Broadway and 5tl aV
ADELAIDE ~, LNMBERT-ON tells pas'
~ urscui aud futurt consulted nu 'nhH, Nu-Iu"sA
'.'. Gt5 no satisfaction, uu p'y. .1i Wr. 18th st..
Lrir trh az.
4 BONA FIDEse,cam dat-N..r i.,t sauss uSo.
"A u"s-. tells names. ana tturrs utiih. s,,z Naihme
,l-l East Houston ST., below lst A'- '. u' gents.
4 -TROLOGI~T, Nlamo ENpIAEl. trln
~ Pans 3 an av Lad. 8, .ic. srLts, jlc brluken
n's- cured ln % week.
MADAM EVANS, .rycrtI d1r-rtrr. .I Iur,ayNnL
W trls evtBuaI-. h.st 100 iH,tt. sp..iy mar.
rtsr- M ~ numb r. positive, '.. ID 7th ay,
near l-ta sl
MADAME rUKTER. ~.cre.- Ir-' 100 the worldj
Va consult h.r rtN. rt'"Irf lu ry uJWhgr' fco.
jJc. 5tiruurs ~ ..U1r '.. .rr' tNHr Nrl NJ gents.
MAnNNlE,LIlIIliIE ,.}p.'. t'i',, lo., -hoIo
MADAM WATTS, only reliable ,'l.rrd ,.HunL
Nl gl't 80 y" %ths rear, bct~rrn 'tn and '. 'Ns
MIS- DESMOND, cisryoyanl trll- past present
NI Ahi gives lttAy numbers 1913 aries r'
MAZDA JONES, fortune t.Irr. she has no equal
Nl 49, south ith ~. LaI.es tIrI', ,.uls. tl
The sun., 1872-03-27

Shipping.
A NCmnR LINE srrAMrna

NCUOR LINE STEAMERS.
~ SAL every "Wednesday aud Saturday to and from
GLASGOW Liverpool Londonderry, and Queenstown.
Iassttgcrs booked 60 and from auy railw ~ station in
Great britain lreland NORWAY sweden. Dcnnlrk Ger.
many Holland. belgium. ami the Tinted States,
AT LOVES CURRENCY RATES.
Drafts on the old country Tor any amouui.
Apply AZ the Company Offices. Bowling Green
HENDERSON BEOTHEf1S. Ae,nts.
The sun., 1872-03-27
aNlnnlt0 slaIts.


4 PRESSMAN on pantaloous want, 4. 40 !'1 Canal
" st, top nu0ri alsn, smart, clean boz 90 run cr
rauds uages ESQ - week.
YOUNG men wanted tor storcs. warehouses;
n. offices saloons, hotels, sc. Agency 3Ni Bnwcry,
nrst nght.
A FIRST-CLAS~ blacksmith on trucks and carts ,
N only good hands need apply
N undersl llds the grocery business Va oth aV In
the saloon.
A NOI "! man to make ready qnd feed on Dugcner
n and Gurlu prcss sCliLUEIEk ANDERSON,
u l'Dat st
A STOUT boz, santcd IA the feed store III EAst
N Oth o., uvaT 81 aT