The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-07-16
A Bad Fix.

A SAN FRANCISCO paper of recent
IN date tells the following:
A good story came in with the overland
train on Monday night. Among the pas
sengers was young man possessed of a
judicious spirit of economy and pardon
able share of vanity. The judicious econ.
omy was made manifest to the other
occupants of the car by the fact that the
young man wore plain clothing and a
single Cheviot shirt all the way from Chi
cago and for the pardonable vanity--well
how that became apparent is where the
joke comes in. He had only been to the
East on visit, and the girl he had left
behind him had been notified in advance
of his approach, and, in company with a
few other friends was to meet him at
Niles station.
Visions of rapture. .floated thr ough his
brain, and seating himself in a. secluded
corner of the car, he poured fourth his
spirits gladness in a gush of melody,
somewhat as thus:
Home again, nome again,
From foh-hohreign shore;
And oh ! IL fills my so-o-oul with Joy
To ome-he-eat my friends once more"
Suddenly he hushed his notes of joy and
reached for his carpet-bag.
The appalling idea flashed across his
mind that the shirt which had done him
so much good service-which clung to him
during the toilsome journey across two
thousand miles Of mountain, plain and
desert-was not exactly the thing to appear
in if one wished to intensity an already
good impression. 1t certainly wouldn't be
the clean thing, he said to himself - it
wouldn't be justice to the shirt. So he re-
solved to change it. But how The car
contained several lady passengers, and they
watched everything that was going on
around them with an assiduity that did
honor to the sex. "Ah, ha str-r-rategy,
my boy p said this resolute young man
unto himself. "The tunnel-we are ap-
preaching the tunnel. With good man
agement can do the deed in the long tun-
mel just beyond Sunol;" and with a heav-
emily smile on his manly features he grace
fully lifted the carpet bag from the floor,
unlocked it, and drewforth snowy shirt,
with nice frilled bosom. Then from an
other recess he drew little packet con-
tanning pair of sleeve-buttons and a set
of studs, which were quickly adjusted in
their proper places.
Casting careful glance from the win
dow, he saw that the train was not far from
the tunnel where the metamorphosis was
to take place, and so he turned his back
upon the other passengers, and began to
loosen sundry buttons-in short, prepared
to shuck himself. Presently the eventful
moment came. The iron horse plunged
into the dark recesses of the tunnel, and
the car was shrouded in impenetrable dark
ness. Presently a ray of light CLEANED in
fantastic shapes along the rugged wall of
the tunnel, and by its faint glimmer a
struggling figure was discernable in the
direction Of the young mans seat. AS the
light became stronger, its gyrations be-
came more frantic. Its great long arms,
encased in white, thrashed wildly about as
though in the agony of despair, and finally
when with shrek of joy the engine dash
ed into the dazzling sunlight it sank into
its seat, apparently crushed with mortiflca-
tion and chagrin.
The ladies' screamed with terror and hid
their bushes at the unusual apparition.--