The Ottawa free trader., 1872-04-06
HOME MATTERS
Pepper, Salt and Sv,ce-

we na'o an once; We Are Town Clerl- Tb;v
is an immense office, and we do nm, l,,,,. r.,
to DO with 1t. or where to put it. We bava
thought OF renting the public square. bp, fe.r
in slsshing aronnd there We might ;nirro ,ho
soldiers monument. We can, get Hoe,, crovo
because Mr.. Hoes don't want those tree, aer,o,.
ished We can't get Judge Cation 3 Park. as o,r
appearance there would frighten the elk to leah
We may. as last resort, accept the Sberief,.
kind offer and occupy the dark cell in tie iai,
Still We are not proud, but we thank our 1913
friends who stood by us against the combined
attack OF "Red Bird" aud "Bufalo-Rock. G. .nt~
who received j votes each -. Some demented
fraud who has a severe attack Of rhyme, sends
us the following pathetIc,l verses:
Iloved gal,
Her name was "Sa''-
She lived in Ottawa
did my best
Her TO possess-
SO courted her night and day.
And this ere gal,
Which her name was "Sa''
whoived in Ottawa
Iasked for TO marry:
And We did not larry,
70, We got married right away
d
them to put muzzle upon him at once We
saw boy on :he lst OF April bare-footed sitting
on dry goods box, tanning himself with
crownless straw hat. chewing gum and singing
''shoo-Ely' Talk about your prophetieal eggs,
We found one the other morning in nest in
our chicken coop. with the following fearfuly
cabslistic characters: On one end was picture
e L ~
bisl three ball pawn-brokers sign, and in the
middle in plain letters done in charcoal, April
Fool" As We do not believe any Of oar hens
would ''play it on US In tina, way, We have
charged 1t upon our "Banty" rooster, and to
make the account even have cut off his allow.
ance OF corn. ..-. There were six independent
candidates for Constable in Rutland on election
day. They got votes which as We have divided
among them according to the respective qualifi.
cations Of the men, figure up as follows John
Parr, rs; Sam Nilliken, 10; Ora Thompson,
2}a Jesse Grove, s7ss Fuller, IL Leroy Cole,
1000. That's how Cole came TO win the fight.
The fox hunters ar. pretty good at running rab.
bits, ground squirrels, opposums and the like,
bnt they don't amount TO pigs tracks" when
runhmg for Constable .. Fights and ru,nors OF
tights come To rs every breeze. gentle or
otherwis,. Parties on the South side met at
twilight and had friendly d" brush" One de-
parted with woe-begono countenance-j. e., a
".hanty" over one ave, and nose much resemb-
ling that succaisat vegetable, the red beet. It
was windy engagement. Alto, another hap
Pened between two men named respectively
Mix Mace and Jrm Cool. The difficulty was
about "Wrral,' 1t il said. and who j. Il the
ebony persuasion. Afer : round. the the rugi-
ist. were carried home, one on n board and the
other on . whe.l.barrow The misunderstanding
Is TO be renevned NJ soon the parties shall
have been sutsr ientIy patohed up and repaired.
IA couple of gentlemen, well.knowu in this
city, one ieweler and the o;hera Juice dealer
in attempting. couple Of week. ago, t. cross
;he sidsout Of the canal on the ice, broke through
snd thinking .heir day. vera about numbered,
shouted for help. "Mo," )" that's tie jewe!er, who
In guilty Of being d strong republican, saw ID
democrat passing aui Justify yelled, Help ne
out and I'll never voso tho republican ticket
again The n.p addressed slowly replied, "Go
to -; I've believe that is scrip.urel II cant
trust . msn who would change his politic' for n
little thing like this, and besides the water is
only two feet deep" They walked out, and
me" has topped back. 80. Daring the course Of
q trisl before q Justice in Ottawa this week the
following passage At arms occurred: Lawyer
No. My opponent is too good lawyer to de-
ny a proposition OF law. Lawyer NJ. 2-My
learned friend can beat me quicker by abusing
than by hattering me, wan: him to understand
that. No. IL do understand it, and all who
know you understand it. No man, however gin.
ted, can possibly say anything which would
make you entertain higher opinion Of yourself
than you already have. No. 2 subsidies amidst
roars of laughter