The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-09-13
THE UGLY PORTRAIT.
From Tom Hoods Comic Journal.

THE UGLY PORTRAIT.
From Tom Hoods Comic journal.
Bill TOzer was in great spirits that
| evening. He had been to his club
Never mind what the club was called.
And SO, Wien be reached his home in
the Carlton Road, he remembered that
he had little misunderstanding witt,
his Ian dlady, and said, "NOw for it!u
Baving uttered this ejaculation, he
too & hold of one of the ratings, which
pr .sided over a so-called garden, with
Orie hand, whilst he grasped his right
flsnd, or tight foot boot, with the
other.
a'That's all right" said Bill, rs the
article came off with a jerk and when
the companion integument came off
W ith equal facility, he felt compare
tfvely all right
With cautious steps Bill approached
the door. and with cautious hand he
opened it. But what to see? Why,
his landlord!-a stout-built man, q
1ruculent looking man, with fury i'm
his eyes, and a bed room candlestick
in his hand.
!. And this is what Bills landlord said
to Bill:
snow, just you leave my house this
day week! For you're a howl, you is;
you're a-bed all day, and hOut all
| night"
Having thus delivered himself, he
| descended into the lower regions, utter
| ing menaces as to Bills eyes and
limbs.
"Bill don't grumble," mumbled
Tozer, SIS he ascended to his second
floor back. But i'm reality he was very
much annoyed, for where to tuin for
another lodging he knew not, so he
pursued a course not unusual with
such of the unfortunate as have a bed
left, and sitting on the edge of it, re-
flected bitterly on the errors of his past
life. Well connected, well educated
acknowledged to he one of the most
promising portrait painters Of his day
where was he now?
As, however, Bill was an habitual
smoker, he sought on his table for the
usual pire, and grasped-a letter.
Now, Bill was not i'm the habit of
receiving letters. His creditors had
long given him up as a bad job, and
1 sad TO say, his relations were tired OF
him. So Bill was somewhat perplexed
| as to this individual note, but boldly
struck light, and after having turned
over the missive several times, opened
and read it. 1t ran thus:
My Dear IozeT-Come and breakf fast
with me to morrow morning. Some.
thing to your advantage. Yours ever,
| GEORGE MAITLAND.
Bill crumpled up the note i'm his fist.
| Bill and Maitland had been school.
/ fellows; Bill and Maitland had been
pupils of the Royal Academy together.
But what difference there was now
in their several positioDsi But never
mind about that. Tozer kept his ap-
pointment with Maitland, and the re-
suit was that he found himself engaged
to 60 to Crumbush House i'm Surrey, to
paint a young lady's portrait; and had
to start at once.
"Bill don't grumble," muttered
Tozer, as he turned over his small
wardrobe, and found it very sadly
wanting. 1t took some hours of but.
tOn-eewing to make things even de.
cent. And then the ragged edges Of
sleeves and trousers had to be cobbled.
1t was dreary work
Having left hurried message with
the ''slavey" that he might be away
for day or two, Bill cautiously went
on his way, one fine summer evening
to seek the train which should convey
him to Crumbush House, his destina.
ton. After something like an hours
ride Bill reached Criddie,Or, the station
at which he had been directed TO stop
aud was then told that the distance u
Crumbush House was about two miles
"Bill don't grumble," said Tozer, as
he set off on his walk, "but they might
have sent q carriage for me.n
However, having been somewhat
crumpled by his railway ride, be gel
of, relying on the certainty of finding
his way by the aid of sign posts as ht
went on. But after going some way
and coming to crossroads, he found
that there was no sign-posls. So ht
was I'm dilemma, and did what Is al
ways bcst to do i'm such circumstances
he remained quiet. At length a lac
came by, Snd he inquired fne way
20 Crumbush House. The answer thu
lad gave was apparently civil. but i
was perfectly un;nterigible, Tozer still
waited till an old woman came, who
understood what Bill wanted, ant
showed him the way
At length Bill reached lodge gate
the guardian of which informed him
with evident pride, that the avenu,
leading to Crumbush House was thre,
fur,ongs long: and beautiful piece o
road Bill found it. Glimpses of fin,
scenery, hallowed. rs it were, by tn,
calm beauty of a glorious night, me
Tozer's view at every turn; ami tn,
murmurs of a trout stream, who's,
windings the avenue followed, CAV,
music to such thoughts as Tozer caret
to entertain. i'@l''.
When Bill arrived ut Crumbusl
Hall he. found-as he intended n
should--his host full Of regrets that h
had not been i'm time for dinner, an,
gladly accepted tie offer of a snu,
little repast i'm a snug little room b,
himself-a very Lie little room i'm
deed, lined with leather stamped witt
the effigies of birds, beasts and fishes
the beaks, claws and fins of whicl
were ablaze with gold. There wa
also little fire, albeit it was summe
time-the result of all which was tina
when the tray, containing many deli
cacies, including bottle of Burgund
and another of sherry, were set befor
him, Bill shook himself-his inyari
able method of testifying satisfaction
and calculated: "Bill don't grumhle.
BY the time that he had finished nc
! more than third of each of the bottle
at his disposal, Bill was aroused from
pleasant reverie by knock at III
door. and stood face 10 face with h
host, and said: go
"If you had not been born wit
money, you would have been u catt