The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-09-15
Irish Wit of the Fir.s water.


Irish Wit Of the First Water.
correspondent communicates the following
to the Catholic Herald, paper recently started
in Philadelphia:
NOVEL CONTROVERSY.
gentleman in whose word / have the
greatest confidence entertained me few
evenings ago with an account of "contro.
versy that took place in his presence lately
in one of the city cars Many of the points
made are excellent, but have my doubts as
to their originality; however, il they afford
the readers of the Herald either amusement or
instruction, shall feel sufficiently paid for
noting them.
AS! was returning home from my Office
lately" said my friend, a gentleman whom
afterwards knew to be an Irish Catholic. came
into the rather crowded car whore was aud
managed to secure o seat directly opposite q
understanding man who wore D neck-tie. The
modest-looking man, it seems, was very
taken his seat than he asked in rather loud
voice, =" II he had heard the news!" mo sir"
said the gentleman. what is it, has anything
o strange 81. happened p %Yss sir" said the
has fallen ont of Purgatory and all the Catho-
lies have dropped into hell" "I am very
sorry, indeed" said the Catholic, I pity the
poor Protestants underneath; they must have
The dispute was now fairly opened, and the
passengers became interested as to what
should come next: "You are q minister Of the
sir, am at your service; what can do to
oblige you :" would like to know" said.
the Catholic, why You have no affairs in your
churches Il presume yon are an Irishinan,"
tion after your own fashion-that is, by asking
another. The corruptions of Popery are, Of
course. known; but why do you have such
costly vsst@ents Of gold ID and slvss !" S s1Do
you forget" said the Catholic, "that the older
the house the more grand and precious are its
treasures and furnituref But, my dear sir,
your church was before the Reformation" At
answer you in your own style again." said the
minister, where was Your face before it was
washedp eff had made that remark" said
the other, sit would have some meaning; but
coming from you it is fifteen hundred years
behind the times; for when the Catholic
Church, after her work of converting the ma
tions of Europe, found that few sores had
been collecting on her face, she took little of
the medicine that Christ had left to her and
purified her coantenance of all disease Your
friend, Dean Swift, has told the truth some
Pope cleared his garden, he threw the weeds
over the fence Perhaps. your reverence can
understand his meaning"
The passengers ~ this time had become all
attention; the conductor even left the platform
TO listen to the debate; and it was noticed
that two old ladies who had come to their get
ting-off place., preferred longer ride,
versy. So far the Catholic had the first ques-
tion. The minister thought it was now his
time, and he led off with what he considered
puzzler. ''Why don't you eat meat on Fri
dsys be fSSs ai It
not" "Well," said the ether, ~ have NO OBJ
lection whatever to meat. like it on Friday
| as well as on Thursday; and tell you what it
too. a. yo o had would have put meat in Il
for every day in the week." The audience was
delighted with the quickness of the answer
but the minister put in very nice Question on
answer" said be, "may satisfy Yourself and
those who think as You do; but you contra.
drink i milk On Friday, tie milk comes from the
| cow, and may you not as we'll eat the meat as
drink the milk, as they are both Of tho same
substance r. Were you ever baby !" said the
Catholios" That needs NO answer said the
often as Won pleased 2" "Csrtainly did, .
said he. "Wel, them" said the Catholic, with
q humorous smile, is that any reason why
The laugh that followed this remark could
| be heard half o square of, aud though many
| In the car did not sympathize with the Catho'
lies principles, his humor aud argument were
" You superstitious Papistw said the now
pretty angry Minister, "you have NO mind OF
your own. You are led by the nose by your
ChuECn, GQO i D0lt0V0 III Things W1iCn nave
never been seen.n "Well, said the Catholic, II
could say great deal of that very thing
about yourseU There is this difference, how
ever, I am led by the Church which Christ
| founded, and believe what she teaches but
ron are led by every apostate priest or monk
| she has kicked out of her fold for their pride
| and disobedience. Aud as to believing in
tLinps 1 have never seen, am not equal to
yourself, for You believe you have brains and
common sense, though neither You nor any
body else has ever seen them" "But;" said the
Minister, ''you believe in absurdities you be.
lieve In the Sacrifice of the Mass You believe
the priest can forgive your sins. You believe
| that the Saints can hear You. Yon believe the
devil is o person. Why, sir, this Is nonsense
| All these in the estimation of sensible men are
foolish, they are exploded; show me the devil
and mi give you fifty dollars" "Don't get SC
excited, my dear friend" said the Catholic
"what you may call nonsense, believe on the
word of God, and on the word of His Church
1 believe them to be truths revealed by God
And as to your further objection about believ
ing what don't see, especially with references
to the devil, keep Your money, wait awhile
don't change your life or You creed, and take
my words for it, you'll see him for nothing"
| The Minister was by this time pretty wei
satisfied with the argument. He had more
than he wanted but thought he would max,
another effort, and try by it to carry with him