St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-02-02
Kentucky Jokes.

1t Was during the presidential cam
paigm which resulted in the election of
iiuchanau. that the writer of the ap-
pended sketch, i'll company with three
other politicians. rode, from Paducah tn
l:">tom. Ny. in Il hack. They were
hurud tuI one of the old-t;I>hi"ncd bar
hccIIcS. and hc tells what happened ON
! the way thus:
/ The Joking Judge VI. MAS one OF the
party. and the bottles that pccprd out
| from the basket under the seat seemed
/ t" improve the sparkle of his Wit. tn"
/ flavor of hi jokes, and the music of his
laugh. until the happy c"nt"gi"n even
reached thc driver.
cur fun WIS At its highest when turn
/ img = curve III the road. "" saw. down
it, hot. dusty stretch. Il solitary ON cant.
with its owner I"'rrh"d upon what
proved to Lee bags of corn. AS Il kind
ol advance guard. u great ugly. hrindlr
dog came tr"ttiI@ along III advance.
and attracted hl our noise. he threw
himself in an attitude of defense. de
/ tcImiHod to dispute our adv amce. With
his savage groWl. red eyes and erect
| hi>tlc>. Ec iuIct d. presented Il foImi
dahlc appearance. Judge VI. could not
let such an opportunity for Il practical
joke pass. said he:
IN hct the drinks for the day that
can run that dog off the road
"Nonc. said We.
Stopping "tu' hack. ne got ont. and
threw the >kut- al his ''>Wall"w-tIilrd.
coat over his shoulders. stuck his old
>l"uch hat om the back of his head. and
going down nlI "a!l foul>." he >campcr-
. 4 Il al
tui wells. reminding. one of the fable of
the ass in the lions skin. This WAS too
much for the dog and howling with
flight. he took to the brush. The oxen
also SAW the fcartul munster coming
down the road. and with one wild bel
low they took To the brush. with their
tails standing straight out behind.
Away they went. with wheels h"rmcing
in the air. lag> of corn l.ru>tin4 open.
and >rillirg their contents in cnntinu-
.uU> drill.
w Wn"a. ilazr Whoa. Ball, -.
iordN " hat shall | do ," came from
the frightened n.n on the cart. a> he
VH~ h"unding from side to side. NOW
glahling II cart pole, then catching at Il
bag ot corn as it Wcln over the side.
His hind ut performance couldn't
la>I Ion" Without - clEiu%t' tnI better or
WuI>r. - the oNCu Ntnt tearing dn" II
thr >tcrp bank "t' - it'll, creek aud
oN,ItmE'd everything in the water
Ihout waist deep. One "N. gcttim"
lo"~o. We nj up the opposite bank amd
soon disappeared. while the otIl,r COW -
cred down. ritcruslN believing ~ We
came up tu the scene of disaster. There
stood the poul man III water tn his waist,
his wagon overturned. and half his corn
soaking in the water. while the other
half WIS scattered in the woods. lie
locked scared and pitiful. and said
20. Lui,ll. stranger. don't never do
that IN any more I'm ruined =,
/, Wis - splendid sucr,S>. that joke.
and there stood the Judge huldiug un tu
:; SarIing and laughing till the tears l;nl
down lis checks.
We took mp Il subscription for the
! poor I, How. The .iudg" headed the
list with "a amount mcarIl covering tn,
damages. and We added to it uuti wc
, left the man in thankIulnc>> that hr had
| sold his corn 80 we'll. At the barbecue.
I the .iuig, hct Hll hi> mnHrl on Il little
+ hoISr-i;,rc. and lost. and from that, and
. the ci"ctS of his drinks ut our expense
| We had To carry him back on :, haIn-
I door. Om his way home hr insisted mp
- on standing on his head.
Which WAS ia" ruined man Ioicdo
! Biddc
- Om Episcopal brethren will ap
| pIcriatc tins. from Il late English book
- The Bishop of oxford having sent ronic
I. to the church wardenS in his diocese :;
! circular of inquiries, among which WIS
, docs Nuur officiating clergy man prc;i'f
i tht Gospel, and is his conversation and
+. carriage consistent Herewith The
e church-wardem of Walliugtord rcpii' d
t '.lIc breaches the Gospel, hnt does moi
- keep II caIiIaGc
- The Rev. Mr. p i we'll know
- Ia the citizens of -- a> Il decidedly
eccentric person. but Jealous and full Z"
- rood works. y short time since he met
: at the house of Il friend Br. k, tho
U, leading phN stefan of the same city
Il While chatting after dinner, the parSoI
\ asked the doctor aS To the reality of tn,
;, ailments of one of his parish depend
- cntS, Il Mr.. George Washington llalnc'
- TihmcN Whcrcup"m. the pcculiaIitic:
!. of this person being spoken of, the doe
- tor related lac had Oh one occasion beer
# asked hy him for the gift of Il dollar
Z. He replied that he had no money t,
=. give. Nj. G.. W. II. T. persiSting, tn,
:. doctor finally gave him Il fifty cen
!. stamp. Mr.. Tihncy looked at it con
I temptuously, and handed it back, say
: ing. Il guess You need this, doctor
G. more than do. never take less than
= Il dollar"