Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-10-31
NASBY.


MIR. Nasty AT CHAPPAQUA-THE JoLLIFICA
TIoN OVER THE OCTOBER ELECTIONS
ANOTHER TRIP PROPOSED AND OPPOSED.
CHAPPAaUA, !
(Which is In the State ov Moo YefS) !
october IL, 1872. J
1t wuz mite at Chappaqua. The wild
winds sighed mournfully a65ut the drearl
house, and blew chill and sad among the dc
nuded branches nv the fallen trees wleh th'
Philosopher and Sage had cut down doorir
the campane. (Ez he he'd to be alluz sur
prised cuttin down a tree, he didn't ul
course hev time to trim EN- ALL The colo
autumnal rain wuZ a fallin in a melancholy
drizzle, and the frost kings damp and icy
finger he'd fetched the famous Spring wich il
wuz hermetically a sealiu Nv. For wicb
thank Heaven. Eff that spring could be fri
up so that my bowels, wich requires suthiu
heatin, shood never be persekooteed nC
more with its accused waters l shood bt
happy. Inside the house we sot. We heC
gathered to jollify over our expected triumph
in Ohio, IDjiany and Pennsylvany. We heC
reserved the news and wuz jollifyin. There
wuz the great and good Greeley hisself
there wuz Tilton nv the curly locks, anC
Reid Nv the crafty face, there wuz Cochrant
and Mcclure, and leadin men Nv Pennsyl
vany, Nv the South and West.
We wuz jollyfyin Down the furrowe6
cheek Nv each the pensive tear wuz rollin
and each wuz usin his pockit Handkerchief al
We sot long in silence a studyin the re-
turns. Then the great and good Greeley
spoke. He rejoiced over the victory he he'd
achieved in the three States, tho he would
say in candor that the victory wuzn't ez
complete ez he could have wished. Bat ther
wuZ- every coz for congratulashen and re-
joicin. The majority agin us in Ohio wuz
only 10000. Now there is, in round num-
bers 1900 election precincts in that State
and eff only five Republicans in each change
from the tyrant Grant to me, why l carry it.
Likewise SO in Pennsylvania and Injiany.
The ishoo is now narrowed to the two, and,
whoskin doubt the result? Is not that COM
fort enuff?
The response was a most hilarious and en-
thusiastic groan from all present.
Mr.. Leverich, importer from Moo York,
remarked that the result in the West wuz
doubtless, becoz Mr.. Greeley wood persist
in lettin out that he wuz protectionist.
Mr.. McGregor, Nv Pennsylvania, swore in
good Scotch, that the result in Pennsylvany
mite be attribooted solely to the fact that
he ignored Perteckshen and wuz dallyin
with Free Traders.
Kernel McWelter, Nv Kentucky, remarked
that his Abolishunism, wich he threw out on
his last trip, lost him his strength in South.
ern Ohio and Injiany.
Mr. Placid, NV Northern Ohio, wuz certin
that his apologizin for hevin bin an Aboli.
shunist, at Jetfersonville, rolled up the fear
Injiany.
Capt. Hoolan, late Quartermaster in the
Federal Army, wuz satisfied that the aboose
Nv the soljers in Pittsburg, cost him the sol
jer vote.
Major Biggins, Nv Virginia, late c. s. A,
knowd that his cokettin with the Federal
soljers lost him the support NV the friends
Nv the South in he three States.
To all NV wich / listened, and then / gave
my views. We wuz beaten-or to put it ez
mildly ez possible, we failed to achieve a de.
cisive victory by attemptin too much-we
tried to kiver too much ground. The great
and good Horris, under whom / fondly hop
ed to hev Postoffis, is too versateel in prin
cipple. In his writin he is rigid, but in prin
cipple he is versateel 1t wood be money in
his pocket ef he Good reverse the order. FL
his prinsiples wuz eZ strateforward eZ his
method Nv callin man a ID villain he
wood be entirely great. When a man runs
for President, and tries to consulate Free
Traders, Proteckshinists, Fedral Solgers,
Confedrits, Abolishnists, Pro-slavery men
with dozen other varieties huv in, he under
takes large job. 1t never did win yit, and
never will wuZ with the deceest-that is
cur noble cheef-all the way. 1t wuz not
encouragin when he wuZ maxim a speech
say in Pittsburgh, supportiR tariff, to see on
bulletin board opposite the identikle
speech he made the day afore, in Moo Jer
sey, leevin tariff entirely to the Congress
sional destriks. 1t wuz not altogether q
pleasant thing at Jeffersenville, when we
felt it our duty to apologize for our hevin
been Abolitienist, to hev the speeches
wich we made three days afore in Pennsyl
vany denouncin slavery, poked into our face
In short, we wuz ridin too many hosses
and the trouble wuZ, them hosses wuz all 9
pintiD in ditferert direckshens. We under
took to sit on dozen different stools, and
ez talented eZ we are in that portion NV oul
h0dV. amt broad pnntf dnpSn'f ms
ter to me, or to Cochran, or Tilton, oil
Mcclure. With US it is simple question
Nv winnin. There is the camp Nv the enemy
to plunder, and to us the method nv takiI
it don't matter. 1 found several sich il
evry township. The fellow whose sole pants
for Post offs ez the heart panteth for the
water course, will do jest ez 1 did. Hell
hist his hat enthusiastically for tariff al
Johnstown o-day and for free trade in Hi
noy to morrow. But the people don't al
want Post offlses ez bad ez we do, and con
sekently don't hist with that ease So ful
ez am concerned, L
Here Mr.. Greeley interrupted me. Ht
wuz entirely convinced that success in No
vember wuZ assoored. He he'd bin embar
rassed in the October election with County
Deestrick and State tickets. Now that it i!
redoosed to a strate ishoo between me anC
Grant it is different. l shell go into the can
vass myself. l shell accept invitashuns Il
address agricultooral societies, and she
make personal toor-
"Don't" exclaimed the entire assemblag,
THROWN themselves on their knees befor,
him, eZ one man, with tears streamin dow
ther cheeks. Don't"
'Sir ~ sed sternly Qor 1 felt the time heC
come for plain talk "ef you will go, W
course you must. There is nothin in tht
constitushun NV the Yoonited States tha
prevents man from maxim a fool NV hisself
That is one Nv our reserved rites. But, gen
,
kin stand it. l am an old man, and he,
but few days to inger. You are an ole
man and wot happens to you, don't matter
We hev neether NV US much Nv life or char
acter to lose But hev pity on these poo
and don't carry them any further down thar
possible. They kin, it is troo, change theil
names and go West, but it will foller EN-
Hev pity on em. But eff you will gc
go prepared SO that ez little dam
the telegram wires, so that reports u,
yoor speeches kin by no means be sent out
To make ashoOrance doubly shoor, leave be
hind yoo skillful burglars who shell destroy
the mails, that reports shell not get out il
that way. Kill remorselisly every man VOC
see with notebook and pencil. Put yoor
self in posishen to deny what 700 hev sed
whenever it may be deemed necessary. By
sich thorough and radical treatment, VOC
wood be comparatively harmless, and yool
SpeecneS WOu4Q not weigh onto us eZ terri
bic ez did the last 700 made. Ell yoo persis
in goin without takin them precautions, dc
it; but yoo do it without me. shel wasf
my hands Nv the whole biznis, and 90 bacl
to the Cross Roads, where, ef the livin ain
so good, l commune daily with better men
/ bev sed.''
The Sage cenclooded finally not to go, bu
rather to trust the sober second thought o
the people.
The jig is up. L commenst borrowin mon
ey this mornin Nv evry man who comes t.
Chappaqua. That presages immejit depar
cher. tried to sekoor SCOT Nv Horrisel
clothes, but the only one 1 found wuz a 500
we bought in the spring, and rubbed all owe
with earth, to wear when we were surprised
diggin in the garden. His chopin SCOT ain
worth talkin, and his travelin SCOT, wich
wanted, he wears all the time. / shell borre
| vigorously the few days hev left, hopin t,
amass enuH to keep me thro the winter.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
| Wich wood like to be Postmaster, but sees n
hope Nv it,
THE Western RurdL gives the followin,
as the prices of common wool in New
| York City since and including 1861: 1861
80 cents; 1862, 42c. 1868, roc; 1864, roc.
1865, CSC. 1866, 65c.; 1867, 4Sc; 1865
45c.; 1869, 45c.; 1870, 44c.; 1871, 4Sc.