Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-08-27

reserve
There are two opposite extremes in which
egotism may betray itself in social life. IL may
take the palpable and common form of vanity,
and delight in selfassertion, leading every con-
YerSation 10 the much-oved topic OF personal
experiences, successes, dsappOntments, tastes,
affections and prospects, regarding society chief
y as tablet on which TO inscribe self, and be-
coming thoroughly vacant and dull when forced
By any cause TO forego the faYOrite indulgence.
Or it may, on the other hand, take the contrary
form of reserve, cOncealing the inner and often
the best part of self from view, holding back
from society, and even from friendship, all that
constitutes distinctive individuality and only
| speaking with fiuency and freedom upon sub
| jeets of general and public interest. All agree
| in experimenting the former extreme, and attrib-
uting il either TO vanity, i'll manners or narrow
mindedness, all of which causes frequently blend
| in producing this most Objectionable and repel-
| liant offence. But the opposite extreme OF re-
| serve is, in our modern times, regarded rather
| in the light of quality TO be admired than a
| fault 10 be condemned, as a sort of distinction
| marking selfrespect and separating the man
| who possesses it from the large number who too
| willingly lay bare their thoughts and emotions
| to any who will pause to survey them.
It's frequently thought that the strength and
depth of the inner nature is proportonate to
the meagerness of the outward expression
There are supposed to be mines of treasured
thought hidden under compressed and silent
lips; tires OF enthusiasm behind calm and i'm
pISSSlNC eAleIiOf, dlu lTOIOuuu TENDERNESS OF al
lection beneath a stern and cold demeanor
Even Lord Bacon says, " If a man be thought
secret, it inviteth discovery" Perhaps the
chief charm which surrounds reserve, is the
very lmpossbillty of its being constantly main
taned Self with all its rushing tide of
thought and feeling, will burst the most rigOr-
| GUS bonds, and finds relief in expression to some
one. Every nature Graves human sympathy
and will satisfy its craving at times, however
Strenuously held back. So the exclusive regard
which is often given by the reserved man to one
or two intimates, hatters and delights the I'M
yelling of his thoughts and emotions is priced
for its rarity and the narrower the outlet for his
enthusiasm and affection, the more precious do
| they become TO those for whom they flow freely.
Yet while reserve coeXists with admirable
| qualities, it is not a sign of them. While it is
| frequently accompanied with self respect, self
| control, dellcacy and noble aims, it does not
create them, neither can we regard it, in itself,
| as desirable attribute. Where il is the natural
| bent of mind it is usually the effect of early
neglect, lack of appreciation, affection and SYM
| pathy, and is to be esteemed a real misfortune.
| Where it is cultivated and cherished, it is the
| fruit of a refined egotiSm, which esteems itself
| too precious, and its Municipalities too sacred,
| TO reveal to the common eye. If true humility
| is far removed from the open mouthed vanity
which eagerly introduces personal interests into
| every conversation, and can enjoy no subject in
| which self is not made prominent, it is equally
distant from the stern reserve which locks up
tlG IHuGl lStluSSs anu trusts IileIQ
to no friendly keeping. There is a flavor of
pride about such reticence, which is not COM
monty diScerned, but which eventually brings
its own penalty.
There is a certain reserve Of manner, which is
always desirable-a modesty, courteousness and
quietude which wins the respect it deserves; but
this is easily distinguishable from that mental
attitude which is ever holding back all that is
distinctive of the individual himself, all that is
nearest TO him and that he most prizes, all that
ha mr. and &c from, f,a e;,r
touch of human sympathy. Such a habit of
mind is narrowing and hardening, keeping one
always on the defensive, and disqualifying him
from that cheerful cOmpanionshp and cordial
intercourse which serves so greatly to tighten
the trials and multiply the pleasures of life.
There are those who are ready to converse freely
on common topics of general interest but who
carefully avoid all that may lead to a disclosure
OF their own private thoughts, feelings and eX-
perenees. Few subjects can be thus handled
except in the most superficial manner and the
result is unsatisfactory, an impression being
generally left of want of candOr and sincerity
Companionship grows duh and languid, and
friendship is checked in the bud. He who never
talks of himself, who never reveals his inner
nature, who never suffers himself TO think aloud,
forfeits one of the sweetest joys of human life
that Of sympathy and confidence.
There is also lack of generosity about the
reserved man. If We can bless Others by i'm
parting material benefits, still more may we do
so by giving of the best that our mental and
spiritual natures possess. The most valuable
gifts are not those which money can procure
II is not only what we have, but what we are
that we should use freely and cordially for the
benefit, elevation and happiness of those with
whom we minge, and benevoence demands
that we open the avenues to the best that is in
us, whatever it may be, as freely as we open our
purses to the furnishing and needy. Let none,
then, plume themselves upon a secretiveness and
reserve of mind that is alike detrimental to
general and individual happiness and improve.
ment Good taste and modesty will ever pre-
serve the limits, beyond which self with its per-
sonal interests becomes intrusive; and the cor
DIAL frank and open nature-that loves freely TO
interchange thought, affection and sympathy
will both enjoy and confer happiness, that the
reserved and reticent can neither experience
nor appreciate Philadelphia Bulletin