davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
PHUNNYGRAMS.

You can't make corn-starch of toe
corns.
Which is the best way to retain a
young lady's affections? Not to return
them.
A store in Melpomene street, New
Orleans, has out sign: "Old furniture
what amt no use made just as good as
new"
The land of Western farm is so
wet that the owner hoes his corn with a
dipper and digs his potatoes with hook
and line.
A drunken prisoner in Cleveland
police station offered the captain half a
box of blacking, which he had in his
pocket, if he would release him; but. the
captain was firm.
The Boston Globe advertises for "a
few hundred people who will walk by on
the other side without stopping to stare
while safe is hoisted into a fourth STORY
window.
"A country girl, coming from walk,
was told that she looked as fresh as a
daisy kissed by the dew-to which she
innocently replied, you've got my name
right, Daisy; but his isn't Dew"
"A Vermont undertaken who was not
used to conducting funerals, recently rose
at the conclusion of a funeral address,
and said that the corpse would now 60
round and take a last look at the mourn
erS. re-" -
William S. is a teamster, who is
noted for keeping late hours, as he usually
goes home at two o'clock in the morning.
Well, one stormy night about a year ago
William concluded to 60 home early, and
accordingly he arrived at his house at just
midnight. In answer to his knock his
mother opened window and inquired
"Who is there?" "William," was the re-
ply. mo" said she, "you can't come
that over me; my William won't be home
for two hours yet" Poor Bill had to wait
till his usual time
An eccentric young man of this town
few years ago became impressed with
the belief that he had but short time to
live, so he went to a marble yard and Sc
lected pair of nice tombstones and paid
for them. He didn't die as soon as he ex-
pected, and short time ago he had shanks
put in those tombstones He says they
are not as large as the prevailing style,
but he will make them do.-N0rrist0aon
Herald.
Mrs. Toodles purchased a door-plate
with the name of Thompson on it.; but a
San Francisco mother recently accom-
plished something much wiser and more
practical. Her daughter was to be mar
ried, and her clothes were properly mono
grammed with her own and her lovers
initials; but the young man failed to make
his appearance and the old lady sailed
out and found one, with his initials to
take his place. The story is told by the
San Francisco papers, and of course must
be true.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23

"Few men know how to grow early pc
tatoes," said B, in a conversation among 8
small coterie of farmers. II have grown
potatoes for forty years, and always
have them early" said N. "Not so very
early, after all, " responded B. "The fact
is" said he, 1--WE as farmers know little of
the luxury of early potatoes. A few mar
ket- gardeners do better, and yet the great
mass of these men are not in advance of
us, simply from the fact that they study
less. AS q general rule, they are not a
reading people, and their skill comes
more from practice than from careful
examination of the conditions that are
essential to success" "Just please tell
us, Mr.. B, how this thing is DONE" said a
h&lf-dozen in chorus "Well, | will make
you little speech ON the occasion. In
the first place, we plant too late. THAT'S
So" said F. "But," suggested P, ''there
is the early frosts that will kill the plants"
''Please don't interrupt me, gentlemen,
and l will let you into secret that shall
be money in your pocket, for you may
steal a march of two weeks on your
neighbors, and make good thing out of
the early market. In the first place, you
must put your Early Rose or Early York
in warm, well-lighted room, a month in
advance of planting, that they may sprout.
This will give them full-developed eyes for
the planting In the next place, stable
manure is good thing for this crop.
Spread at least twenty two-horse-loads to
the acre. You are then ready for plant
ing The potatoes are to be cut to single
eyes" "Better plant whole potatoes; it
is this cutting and whiting that takes
the life out of this plant" chimed in X.
"Not bit of it; each eye is a distinct
bud, and capable of forming, or is the
embryo of, new plant. If you plant
whole potatoes, part of those binds are
smothered out, or so crowded that they
are not developed; but, In this case, the
warmth and light bring out those buds in
a most vigorous manner, and each eye is
plump, and will make 9. strong plant. We
are now ready for planting, and put our
subsoil attachment to twelve-inch pillow,
and have the plow set so as to cut fur
row two inches deep. The attachment,
which runs five inches deeper, will hold
the share in place, so that you can turn
this light furrow. You strike out two
lands, and have your seed in baskets, at
the proper intervals fer the dropper, who
drops the eyes at eight or ten inches dis
lance in the furrow, and which you cover
with this two-inch furrow and which, at the
same time covers the manure. The plant
ing is done in each third furrow, which
makes the rows three feet apart. We
have two lands, making four open fur
rows. This is to accommodate the drop
per, who ought to drop two acres day,
and just what good team viii pillow and
do the work as it should be.
This planting may be done in March, or
so soon as the frost is out of the ground.
In few days, the whole surface is to be
narrowed. and, if there is delay in
coming up, or heavy rains follow, the har-
rowing should be repeated as often as oc'
casion may require. The narrowing pull
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
Gorged Stomach in Horses.


Gorged stomach, or acute indigestion,
is disease which every year destroys a
great MANY valuable horses. 1t consists
either in distention of the. stomach from
food or from gas generated by the Ter
mentation of its undigested contents.
This very serious disorder often results
from giving food in large quantities and
Immediately subiecting the animal to hard
or fast work. This is a very common
thing amongst farmers horses. A jour
ney Of fifteen or twenty miles has to be
performed, the owner through kindness,
gives an extra quantity of food, the
stomach and bowels are overloaded, the
horse begins his journey full of spirits,
and after travelling for few miles he be-
comes dull and sluggish and sweats free
ly; he is pulled up and after standing for
few moments shows signs of abdominal
pains by cringing the body and attempt
ing to lie down; the TANKS are slightly
swollen. In q few moments he seems
easier and is driven on now and then
showing symptoms of pain; possibly he
reaches his destination and is taken out
of the harness, when he may exhibit very
alarming symptoms; he throws himself
! violently to the ground, turns over on his
back and attempts to lie in that position;
the agony increases, he rises to his feet,
turns around several times, will again lie
down and look wistfully to his TANKS;
the abdomen is tympanitic, the pulse
uuickened, and the breathing labored,
and the sweat flows freely from his body;
there are quotations of gas, and occa-
sionally reorganization of food up the
nsophagus, the rejected matter passing
oft through the nostrils. The symptoms
increase, the mouth becomes cold and
clammy, the pulse indistinct, the bowels
unmoved, and in short time the animal
is lifeless mass.
Another common causeis feeding heav-
ily when the stomach has been weakened
through enervating exercise, or long last
ing. The food is greediiy swallowed, the
stomach is unable to digest its contents,
and the above symptoms are the result;
for the horse cannot relieve himself by
vomiting, as the human being OF the dog
can.
In road horses that are highly fed on
oats and hay, il is occasionally brought
on by giving quantity of green clover
or tares Immediately after performing g.
fast journey. Sudden change Of food is
another common cause. Chopped food,
Indian corn or barley have a great ten
dency to produce this disease. Ff
Gorged stomach may terminate in rup-
ture of its walls, or in rupture of the dia-
phragm, or an Inflammation Of the bowels; ;
or cause death by asphyxia.
Treatment to be of any use must be
prompt and energetic. An excellent
! remedy is two ounces each Of laudanum
and sulphuric ether, given in a pint of
/ cold water, or with twelve ounces OF lin
seed oil, and if not followed by relief, re-
/ peat half the dose in the course Of an
hour; stimulate the belly with mustarI,
or cloths wrung out Of hot water, and
give injections Of soap and water every
| three quarters of an hour. The patient
should be placed IN a comfortable box and
/ the body kept warm.-CaRadG Former.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23

son waded into the water beyond her
depth, was overcome, and sank for the
last time. Her companion summoned
aid, and she was taken from the bottom
of the river, where she lay flat upon her
back and utterly lifeless. Although she
had lain in this condition for three or
four minutes, her life was restored by an
hours constant efforts.
"A singular accident befel Captain
Grant, of Wyoming, Pa, a few days
since. Stepping into his garden, he saw
some chickens picking at rare plant,
and, picking up stick, he made Tor
them While at full speed he encountered
a clothes-line, which hit him in the
mouth. His momentum carried the line
back to it's fullest tension, and the re-
bound threw him eight or ten feet. AS
the line left his mouth it took out three
teeth and all that part of the jaw-bOne IN
which they were imbedded.
A very daring feat was performed
yesterday on Lookout Mountain, by a
young lady from Nashville. 1t is GUS
tomary for all strangers visiting the
height to have their photographs taken at
the gallery situated on the ''point" or ex-
treme verge of the mountain, overlooking
the Tennessee River. Timid persons are
generally content with position ranging
at from three to four feet from the edge
of the precipice, which juts out above the
trees several hundred feet below. The
young lady in question was not satisfied
with the common custom, but with the
assistance of the photographer and a
friend, climbed over the verge and stood
on the projecting fragment of rock only
IL fav Of ho
top ofthe bluff, and looked calmly down
from the giddy height until her picture
was taken. One jostle or misstep, and
she would have gone down through the
tree-tops and into the valley below No
other lady has ever attempted the feat
and we suppose never Chattanooga
Herald.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
The First Carpet.

WAS once very much amused at an
anecdOte an old preacher told Of himself.
1t occurred some sixty or seventy years
ago. He had been raised in the back
woods and knew but little OF the ways of
the world. Having been admitted into
Conference he was Sent 10 circuit, and
upon certain occasion was invited 10
dine with wealthy man.
Carpets were not near so common then
as they are now. Most people had their
floors secured very clean, and nice, white
sand sprinkled over them. Sometimes
an extra touch was given the floor by
sprinkhng black sand about in streaks
and figures over the white.
This wealthy man with whom the
young preacher was to dine, however,
had carpet, but it was not large enough
to cover the floor, so there was naked
place all round the room about the width
of chair.
1t was the first carpet the preacher
had ever seen, and he thought it would
not do to step on it, so he took seat
near the wall and drew his feet around on
each side OF his chair so as not to touch
it.
After while a servant came in, and
spreading down piece of linen in the
middle of the room, placed the dining
table on it and began to set it,
The preacher was greatly troubled he
did not know how he was to get from
the naked place where he sat to the piece
of linen on which the table stood. He
knew he could easily jump it if he had
fair chance; but how was he to manage
with the chair between his feet he did
not know. But then the thing must be
done some way so when dinner was an
nounced he arose from his chair, and
summoning all his energies he made a
desperate leap, and to his great joy made
the trip in safety. Pacific Methodist
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
rifles FOR TRAVELLERS.


On arriving at a hotel, always insist on
being sered with a room first, no matter
how many are before you.
A prope. show of indignation at being
assigned room above the second flight
may impress people with an idea of your
consequence.
1t is wei, also, to act as though all the
rooms are 'front.' rooms, looking out on the
mountain, lake or sea view; and although
you may arrive at the height of the sea-
son, and the house be crowded, express
astonlshmelt that such one cannot be
assigned you.
After ringing the bell, if a servant does
not appear in ten seconds, ring again
these hotel servants must be taught to be
quicker
At the dinner table, give your order to
the servant by installments-that is, send
him out as many times as possible, and
each time for the fewest articles. This
Will keep him at work exclusively for
yourself, AMI teach others wholesome
lesson of patience.
Ii the express neglects to bring your
luggage, step down and curse the hotel
clerk Tor 1t. Ask him why in thunder
that eXpressman hasn't brought your
u "ih! vi COURSE IHe ClcIh ouSHG w
know, and really be considered somewhat
to blame FORT; at any rate he is the most
convenient nan to be pitched into"
The shorter the time you intend to stay,
the more fuss it is necessary to make
about everything. 9,t
Ii you are cheap clerk on a three-day
excursion, bmg about Saratoga at New.
port, or vice versa; throw in all the
knowing winetalk possible, and ask about
the drives, and "what accommodations
there are here for gNntlemen's horses"
Anything you don't like about the wa
tering place abuse the hotel clerk for
Ask him why he don't have I, new handle
to the town pump, or what the deuce the
reason is the street crossings are not bet
ter. If at the seaside, frown at him when
the water is too cold, and pitch into him
about the weather there when it rains h,
ought to arrange these things differently
A skillful course of growing, grumb
ling and expressed dissatisfaction a
everything to clerks, walters and servants
interspersed with some judiciously applied
profanity, will have an astonishing effect
and may succeed in impressing an idea o
your Importance upon the whole establish
ment, which undoubtedly would have per
ished but for the two days you graciously
bestowed upon it. Boston Commercial Bul
Zetin
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23

should not be condemned because every
trial does not terminate successfully.
As the season for sowing fall grain will
soon be at hand, we urge those who have
not tried drilling to giyeit trial; also to
sow portion Of the crop with the inten-
ton of giving it spring culture, keeping
an exact account of the labor expended
upon the same, and note the result.
1t is not only possible but quite proba-
BILE that we can afford to cultivate and
hoe our wheat as well as corn. This
question can only be decided by careful
experiments, but it is important that we
should know the uth.--lAeao York SEA.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
A Picture and n Picture-Dealer Sold.

THE Paris correspondent of the Boston
Globe tells this story:
"Speaking of pictures, one of the neat
est tricks I ever heard of was played OIL
the other day on dealer in objects of
art. A gentleman examined his colleC-
ton, bought little ivory statuette and
paid for it.
Then he said:
"sPlease put it aside, and | will call
for it; also be kind enough to take charge
of this picture, handing him canvas.
"Some time after he left a second
gentleman made his appearance, examined
a variety of articles, and at last uttered
an exclamation of delight as his eye fell
on the picture left in the Dealers charge
by his customer.
"' And how much for that?' he asked.
"The dealer informed him that it was
not for sale, and did not belong to him.
COW hat pity said the gentleman,
tive fallen in love with it, and would
give 5000 francs for it, and 500 to you if
you could procure it for me- At the
same time he slipped 500 francs into the
dealers hand and took his departure.
sThe owner of the picture came back
an hour aferward, and was asked If he
would sell it.
"' have no thought OF doing so, he
replied. And then, you would not pay
its value. If did sell it | should ask
1000 francs for it; it's perfect GEM
''After little debating, however, he
did sell it, and departed, carrying off
1000 francs in his pocket and the little
statuette he had paid Tor.
cit is useless to add that the amateur
never called. for the picture, that it is still
hanging in the dealers shop, and that that
unfortunate gentleman is out $500
francs -,
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23
Fish Farming.

A CORRESPONDENT Of the Country Cen
Henuan says that beginners in fish farming
should avoid the common error-that they
can get something for nothing in this in
dustry, more than in any other. In rea-
ton to trout breeding, he says:
Trout breeding requires capital and
skill, in addition to natural facilities. III
you have not the requisite skill you must
pay for it, either by gaining it in practl-
cal experience, or by hiring it. III yod
simply wish to stock a brook, it Will not
cost much. But if you wish TO raise
trout as a business, you must nave capt.
tai. Nothing can be expected from 1T
under two or three years, and you must
live while you are getting ready and wait
inc for trout to grow. The writer says
he should consider it a remarkable and
trustworthy success if any establish.
ment, started with $4,000 capital, reach
ed paying basis in four years. 1t is not
wise then for every man who has a fine
brook, large pond, or copious spring,
to conclude that he has a fortune, and
hold his possession at fabulous price.
1t has a value if developed. AS it lies,
unused, it is very nearly worthless Let
it be developed by those who have me
skill and capital to do it, and be cont-nt
with fair share of the profits. Young
men who lack capital and skill should
not look for sudden fortunes In trout
breeding. 4EkE
In the great contest on the Saratoga
race.course between Longfellow, and
Harry Bassett it appears that the race was
won by one of the most singular acct
dents that ever occurred on race-coGrse.
In the midst of the course Longfellow
was seen to falter somewhat, yet reached
the goal but a little behind the successful
horse in the fastest known race. Exami-
nation showed that the shoe-plate of
had broken III half, and curv-
ing up during the race, had buried itself
IN his foot
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23

HALF the people do not seem to realize
that the chest of horse needs covering
onite az mucb as his back. They think it
only necessary when they stop in the
street to throw an old ragged blanket or
piece of carpet over his loins, and leave
the rest of his body exposed. 1t would
be poor overcoat for man that only
covered his back, and yet a horse has a
chest and lungs as well as human being,
# is dne 70 the horse, and is for the best
interest of the owner, to provide a good
blanket, covering chest, shoulders and
hack
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-08-23

A STEAM street car has been running
successfully in New Orleans for three
months. The engine is double cylinder,
five inches in diameter and seven-inch
stroke. The attached tank contains 300
gallons of water The car travels nine
miles, and simple valve proves as effect
i've as the ordinary street car brake.
There is no escape of steam and no noise.
The inventors name is E. Lamm.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1872-07-20

PLuMER ITxMs.-A correspondent sends
us the following Plumer items:
Farming is the chief support Of the people
here most OF whom are busy just now with
their bsying. Owing to the heavy rains Of
the past week they could not work at 1t be-
fore.
Alden, the gentlemanly host Of the Plumer
House, makes as good "mlut jnlip" or gin
''cock tair' as any "drink mixer" in the
Oil Region aud is always glad to serve his
Centre friends with the best the house af-
fords. Billy Lamb, his assistant, hss .
host Of friends and acqnaintances through
out Oldom who when they pass through
Plumer always stop to see him.
l. Clark, the proprietor Of the Spencer
House follows his business at Petersburg
where he informs us that business Is lively.
james Sage, the road commissioner, met
With quite severe accident some time since.
lie was riding towards the Centre whom be
stopped to water his horse at q brook that
flows gently by the highway be knows 60
we'll to keep in good order, when bis horse
took fright at something, Mr.. Sage don't
know what, and threw him of breaking bis
collar bone. He is still able to attend to
business.
A wandering tribe Of Gypsies passed
through here the other day part of whom
stopped in tho suburbs of our charming
city-prospecsive, you know. The men
live by trading and drive some very sharp
bargains on unsuspecting individuals. But
they found their mistake when the came TO
Plumsr. Mr.. Belzer, . good natured fellow
OF marked Teutonic extraction, and sharp
trader, met one of them who at once ban
tered him for trade. Mr.. Better 'said that
''was him. and after tha usual amount of
paTlying and talk they traded. The next
evening the Gypsy wanted to trade back
aud said be had been duped whereupon Mr..
Better retorted: "Dat vas not me; ven l
drsie horses drades, no matter bow bad
gets beat Finding it was 20 use the Gip-
sey vamosed to brook over his grief with bis
companions.
Mr.. A. S. Pralher has been urwell for q
few days past but is now able 10 be about.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1872-07-20
For Sale.

Wishing to concentrate my
operations to my farm in Gran
berry township l offer FOR
SALE 8 producing wells on my
Central Farm lease qUathout
Machine'yie. to say l will sell
the wells with casing and rig
but not the Boilers, Engines,
tnbing or other property on the
lease. G. 2. BUTTON.
N. B. For particulars ap-
ply to Mr.. John Holsapple.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1872-07-20

PerRpLEux 1TENs. "A new we'll was
strhck on Tbursdsy afternoon, on the Tobey
lease of the Hyde Farm. upper Benpebof
Run territory, which WAS yielding yesterday
IS to 40 barrels per day good. The we'll ia
owned by Messrs. Melville, Purtle, Weaver
aud jackson, and the land interest Is owned
by Hugh O'Hsre, Of Shamburgb, and VIM.
II. Abbott, Of Titusville. We have IN our
possession piece Of sand rock from this
well which will compare fsvorably with
auy similar rock 10 the oil region. II is
coarse, pebbly and thoroughly impregnated d
with the greasy fluid. The striking Of this
we'll indicates the direction OF the belt to be
towards the Gebring farm, . short distance
back Of this place. That there is a large
extent Of new territory in this vicinity there
is no doubt in the minds Of those at all con-
versant with the past oil developments 10
the neighborhood aud that IL will soon be
opened up we have no doubt.
There are now six wells going down on
the upper Bennehoff Run territory, and
many more new ones are talked Of The
striking OF this last well will no doubt stim.
ulate many operators to take hold Of devel-
oping who have held of for the purpose OF
finding out 10 which direction the supposed
oil belt ran.
The Fox we'll, on the Curry farm, recent
lv struck. ia Welding six or seven barrels
per day.
The Irwin, Woods and Egbert we'll, Pierce
farm. will be completed next week.
The line of this new development indi-
Gates almost clearly that 1t is connecting
link between the Church Run territory,
back of Titusville, and the Cberrytree Run
oil belt near this place, and that sooner or
later there will be q continuous string of
derricks on this new line all the way from
Titusville TO some point near Oil City.