The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-02-09
Kentucky Jokes.

twas during the Presidential eanl-
paign which resulted in the election
of Buchanan, that the writer of the
appended sketch, in company with
three other politicians, rode from Pa
ducah to Boston, KY, in n hack.
They were bound for one of the old
fashioned barbecues, and he tells
what happened on the way thus:
The joking Judge NJ. was one of
the party, and the bottles that peep
ed out from the basket uDder the seat
seemed to improve the sparkle of his
wit, the flavor of his jokes, and the
music of his laugh, until the happy
contagiOn even reached the driver.
Our fun was at its highest when,
turning a curve i'm the road, We saw,
down its hot, dusty stretch, a solitary
OK cart, with its owner perched upon
what proved to be bags of corn.
As kind of advance guard, 4
great, ugly, brindle dog came trOt-
ting along in advance, and attracted
by our noise, he threw himself in an
attitude of defiance, determined to
dispute our advance. With his savage
growl, red eyes and erect bristles, he
indeed presented a formidable ap-
pearance. Judge NJ. could not let
such an opportunity for practical
joke pass. Said he:
"I'Il bet the drinks for the day that
can run that dog off the road"
"Done," said we.
Stopping our hack, he got out, and
threw the skirts of his swallow tall
ed" coat over his shoulders, stuck his
old slOuch hat on the back of his
head, and going down on "all fOurs,"
he scampered toward the dog with
the most frightful yells, reminding
one of the fable of the ass in the lions
skin. This was too much for the dog,
and howling with fright, he took To
the brush. The oxen also saw the
fearful monster coming down the
road, and with one wild below they
took to the brush, with their tails
standing straight out behind. Away
they went, with wheels bouncing in
the air, bags of corn bursting open,
and spilling their contents in con-
tinuOus drill.
"Whoa, BlazeI Whoa, Ball! o,
Lordy what shall dO?" came from
the frightened man OH the cart, as he
was bounding from side to side, now
grabbing a cart-pOle, then catching
at a bag of corn as it went over the
side.
This kind of performance couldn't
Last long without 4 change for the
better or worse, as the oxen went
tea ring down the steep bank of lit
tie creek and overturned everything
in the water, about waist deep. One
OK, getting loose, went up the OppO-
site bank and soon disappeared, while
the other covered down, piteOusly
believing as we came up to the scene
of disaster. There stood the poor man
in water to his waist, his wagon over
turned, and half his corn soaking in
the water, while the other half was
scattered in the woods. He looked
scared and pitiful, and said:
20, Lordy, stranger, don't never do
that ar any more, Pm ruinedW
1t was q splendid success, that joke,
and there stood the judge holding on
to a sapling and laughing till the
tears ran down his cheeks.
We took up a subscription for the
poor fellow. The Judge headed the
list with an amount nearly covering
the damages, and we added to it until
we left the man i'm thankfulness that
he had sold his corn so well. At the
barbecue, the Judge bet all his money
on little horse race, and lost, and
from that, and the effects of his drinks
at our expense, we had to carry him
to our hack On a barn-dOOr. On his
way home he insisted upon standing
on his head.
Which was the ruined man TO
ledo Blade.