The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-04-04
Facts ana Figures.

Josh Billings remarks that "sekrets
are darned poor property ennyhow-; it
you cirkilate them yu lose them, and it
yu keep them yu lose the interest on the
investment, = and adds, "Don't under
| take tew live with yure mother-in-law,
but if wus comes to wusness, let yure
mother-in7law live with yu.". s-i 10 '..
The word "shyster, strangely omitted
by photographers, has at last been clear
ly and comprehensively defined. Mr..
James Newby having sued the Alta Cali
,tornia for $4,000 damages in the appli-
cation of that hitherto vague epithet to
his legal character, it became necessary
to ascertain what it really meant, and
the pathological editor of the Alta phras-
ing its Specification as implying every
thing contemplate in the practice of
profession" the jury, doubtless out of
gratitude for this enrichment, of the
English language, incontinently rem
dered verdict for the defendants. suss
The Georgetown, KY, Times says that
a fancy farmer of Scott County has
built a $4,000 hog-pen, which is painted
and grained, furnished with hot and cold
water, warmed with steam and lighted
with gas. There is fine library, where
can be found Cobb's Elementary Works,
the works of Bacon, Inquiry Regarding
the Descendants of Ham, Hogg's Poems,
Golden on the Corn Laws, and the pop
ular little poem, "Root Hog or Die"
The troughs are of mahogany, inlaid
with ivory and furnished with Phelan
cushions. Whenever a hog is led out to
execution, chloroform is administered.
The royal plate at Windsor, which is
kept in tolerably sized room, and an
adjoining closet, is valued at 81, 100000
sterling. There is one gold service,
formed by George ~, to dine 130
guests. Some pieces were taken from
the Spanish armada, some brought from
India, Burmah, China. There are thir-
ty dozen of plates which cost twenty
six guineas each plate. This is only u
portion of the royal wealth of England
in this one item of domestic necessity.
In the Tower of London are all manner
gold salt cellars, drinking cups, spoons,
etc, which in value represent an addi-
tional million or SO.
The latest invented building material
is marbleized glass. 1t is said to require
the closest examination to detect it from
genuine marble. 1t can be made plain,
white, or variegated, to suit any taste or
requirement, and it is claimed that for
ornamental house fronts, floors or pave
ments, this marbleized glass is superior
to marble in durability. 1t will main
tain its colors, they being indestructi-
BILE. A patent on this invention has
been taken cut, and it is thought that
the great cheapness of this marbleized
glass, as compared with marble, will
bring it into general use for house fronts.
floors and ornaments.
There is needle factory in New Ha-
ven where the whole process is done by
a single machine, without the manual
is put in; the machine cuts it off at the
required lengths it cuts the steel pieces
consecutively, punches the eye-holes,
points-and, in fact, does everything un-
til the needles drop out completely form
ed. Another machine picks them up
and arranges them heads and points to-
gether, and third piece of mechanism
puts them into papers. One of these ma
chimes occupies no more room than an
ordinary table, and each of them turns
out from 10000 to 10000 needles day.
A miser named Husbed Hobby died
lately at Greenwich; Conn. He was a
cattle drover, and by shrewdness and
penuriousness had accumulated for
tune of 100000. He never had any
washing DONE. but put ON an undergar-
ment and wore it till it wore out. One
day last week neighbor went to the
house and knocked, but got no answer.
He forced the door and found hideous
spectacle. Hobby was lying ON dilap-
idated sofa almost dead. On the floor
was calf which had evidently died
from hunger, and the body had been
partially eaten by several hogs which
were also in the room. The pantry was
used by chickens as .roost. An un-
dressed pig was found in the stove oven,
and little bits of flesh had been cut out.
Hobby was in dying condition from a
stroke of paralysis, and was taken care
ofby the Selectmen at his death.
Life would be less miserable than it is
if we were incapable of taking cold,
and if so much of it were not neeessar-
| lily devoted to coughing and sneezing,
the spring-time of the year would be
perfectly bharming if people did not so
frequently make such terrible mistakes
in prematurely taking off their fannels.
1t is now suggested lin the Cleveland
Leade,) that the Signal Service Bureau
at Washington might make itself bless
ing to the nation by letting us know
when we must wear wool, and when wo
may with impunity discard it. 1t would
add greatly to the interest of the Wash
ington predictions, rendering them
much more entertaining to the ordinary
reader, if they We're interspersed with
such warnings as these: Don't forget
to take your umbrella !" " Remember
your overshoes for the next twenty-four
hours " Put not your trust in spring
oyercoats !" .'
The Somerville, Tenn, Falcon has the
following "Last Tuesday a wagon
drawn by three animals of the bovine
species passed through our town bound
for Texas. The driver was red-headed,
lantern-jawed, bow-legged Hoosier, six
feet in height, dressed in brown jeans
and wearing No. IA brogans Two oxen
and a cow, geared like horses, were
drawing the vehicle. The wagon was
filed with wife, few little bare-head-
ed urchins, and other valuables. The
family hailed from Polk County, East
Tennessee, and said they were gwine to
Texas with that'ar team eff it tux EN- all