Litchfield enquirer., 1872-01-11

HI. HnuAe0 PREVIOUSLY 1uIFOuQceu him. self as Mir OLeary's substitute.
 '.Very good. said hIr. Loveioy: ..he's told you everything. suppose?
 Mir. Whifles bowed assentingIy, and darted piercing glance into every corner of the apartment in search of the other trombone Horror! He aoasnt there! The man upon whom he solely depended ab- sent What was to be done? Retreat was out of the question; as, while he was contemplating flight, small bell sound ed, and the musicians proceeded to take their places i'll the orchestra. Mir. Whif- fes, still bearing the fatal trombone, de- spairingly followed, and, ere long, found himself in the presence of the British public. 'Thesnovelty of his situation so confused him that he for moment seated himself in the chair belonging to Mr. LoYejoy, and was received with prodig- ious outburst of enthusiasm, the audience supposing hlm to be the talented leader himself. This mistake was soon rectifed who muttered something under his breath by no means complimentary to our hero, and motioned him angrlly to the seat usually occupied by NIT. O'Leary. The audience, preceiving the mistake, express ed their opinion of Mir. Whif1es m candid and unmistakable terms, as he ruefully made bis way to the spot indicated by the irate conductor. After trying to re- duce to something like order the sheets of music upon the stand before him, Mr. Whifles regained sufficient courage to look around him. The house was packed from floor to ceiling; everybody was on tiptoe of expectation, and, sundry anxious voices appertaining to impatient gods" implored the musicians to strike up at once and appease their anxiety
 Again the small bell tinkled. Mir. Love joy tapped his desk-raised his baton looked on each side of him, antl-stopped He whispered the First Fiddle, then left his seat and the orchestra NIT. Whifies asked his next neighbor what this might portend; and was informed, in reply, that Puffler, the other Trombone, hadn't as vet put in an appearance.
 Couldn't they do without him?' asked Mir. Whifies, es,--devoutly hoping in his heart of hearts they couldn't.
 Certainly not" was the reply
 Wouldn't the big drum do as well ," inquired Mir. Whiffies.
 His neighbor regarded him with some surprise, smiled, and continued:-
 
 you know that you and he begin the mo- ment the curtain rises, to bring on old Russett, the heavy man? He couldn't tcome on without his music, you know; as he appears at the back at first, the crosses the mountains from. left to right, then from right to left, and finally comes down left upon the stage, where he expresses a variety of emotions ill pantomine, and all to your music.
 At these words Mir. Whtiies resigned all hope, and was mentally calculating the dangers to which he would be exposed if he leaped into the stalls, from thence into the pit, and fought his way out of the thea Ire, when the leader returned, an ominous frown upon his brow, followed by q short. fat, pale-faced gentleman, apparently of foreign extraction, who carried q trom- bone under his arm. Joy Alr Whiffies felt man again. This then was Pufies !! Mi. Whlf1es remembered his instructions, and watched the newcomer attentiyely: who upon his part, appeared to regard him with the uttermost concern. Mir. Whltties had occasion to shift his trom- bone; Putier did likewise. Mir. Whifies felt for his handkerchief; Mr. Pufier fol- lowed his example. All seemed very mys- terious. Mir. Whiffies was lost in wonder ment when the overture commenced. Luckily, the trombones were not wanted until the commencement of the drama. The overture ceased.
 ::Now, look out, observed Mr. Whiffies' neighbor: ''it 8 you now.
 Mr. Whiffies mechanically raised the instrument to his lips, keeping steadfast gaze the while upon the proceedings of Mir. Puffler, who did his best to stare Mir. Whltf1es out of countenance. MT. Love joy looked round, and seeing the tronl- bones perfectly ready, awaited the rising of the curtain. It Was an agonizing mo- ment. The silence was positively painful One might have heard pin drop. The small bell was heard again. MT. Loyeloy tapped his desk, and the curtain slowly rose-in solemn silence !~NIr Lovejoy be- gan beating time slowly, and had even accomplished 6 few strokes before he real ized the fact. Turning round to ascer- tam the meaning of this extraordinary circumstance, his surprise and bewilder- ment may well be imagined at preceiving the two trombone-players hard at work, dlstendlng their cheeks to their utmost capacity, nervOusly manipulating their instruments, and producing not sound ! And the most unaccountable thing was, they never took their eyes of one another. Mir. Loyeloy was tranixed with amaze ment-
 This IS very strange thought Mir. Whifies. T wonder when that fellow is going to begin!''
 The little bell tinkled again and again. MT. Russett stepped upon the stage with cnr of Il ~1 IoeA out any, under the impression that he was tritie too soon. The stage-manager, a gentleman of excitable temperament and much addicted to the use of passionate language, who played one of the principal parts in the piece, rushed from his room, discharged on the spot an inoffensiye 'ssu- per- who, unfortunately, happened to- cross his path; went, half dozen at & time, down the score or so of ricketty stairs, at the imminent hazard of breaking his neck, and, appearing at the little door under the stage that led into the orches- tra, demanded in unmeasured terms what the-very bad word-Mr. Lovejoy meant by such conduct, and why the-excessive- ly-rude observation-he didn't on? Mir. Lovejoy was too astounded to reply. He could only point, in silent wonder, to the TWO tEOADOu0S. luef0 they SaC, Dufhng and blowing vigorously, but with no re- suit, The stage-manager gesticulated yio- lently, and nearly had fit. The audi ence, unable to comprehend what was go- ing on before their eyes, hissed loudly; and, finally, the curtain fell. Then Mir. Lovejoy gave vent to his feelings. He leaped from his seat and rushed towards MT. Whifaes, who, panting with exhaus- tion after his unaccustomed exertions, was wiping the perspiration> from his face, wondering what on earth was going to happen next No sooner, however, did he perceive the angry conductor advancing towards him, than, with an intuitive per ception that something unpleasant was about to occur, he made precipitate rush through the little door, and sought safety under the stage, hotly pursued by MT. Lovejoy, who opportunely came across the foreign gentleman quietly sneaking away, and fell upon him tooth and nail The foreign gentleman, being choleric, knocked Mir. Lovejoy down. MT. Loveioy, being by no means deficient of pluck, regained the perpendicular, and ,., 1or,r ,R 11t 4E1