Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1872-12-18

MlbhOuL I've
a western editor acknowledging the
gift of a peck Of onions from a sub
scriber, says: at is such kindnesses
as these that bring tears To our eyes"
A Miss Apple tried to commit sui
eide at MaripOsa. California, lately,
because che was a neglected fruit.
Ms Apple wanted to be one of a pair.
Among the patents lately issued is
one covering an alleged specific for
small pOx, the said specific being COM
pused Of saltpetre, camphor and char
coal.
The reason an urchin gave for being
late at school on Monday was, that
the boy in the next house was to have
q dressing down with a he'd cord, and
he waited to hear him howl.
Levi Brown, of Pogyan, Michigan,
thought he could hold a playful young
bull by the tail, but his widow nov
says. he eve could stick to any,
thing ten minutes in his life.n
Dear me, how fuidly he taIks!"
said Mrs. PartingtOD, recently, at q
temperance meeting. 81 always re-
juice when he mounts the n%ostril, for
elOquence warns every cartridge in
my body"
The large Western farmers sending
grain to Chicago have not been stopped
10y the horse disease, but have sent
with their cargOes oxen to cart ii, and
then sold the animals at a high price
when they got through with them.
One of our fashionable youths
donned his first silk hat and cigar Sat
urday evening. He got along well
enough with the cigar, but he had To
give up the haiti made him sick at
the stomach.
One of our residents, about to de
part west, desires TO sell a sitting in
one of the most eligible groceries in
town. The stove is the most powerful
IN the market, and the cracker and
sugar barrels are il easy distance.
No finer compliment has ever been
paid to a man than that of Jean Paul
TO his friend Wissie, when he said
that his face was a thanksgiving for
all his former life, and a love letter to
all mankind"
A bright little girl having desired
&C write a sentence brinsing in the
word ''carriou," presented the follow
ing TO her teacher: bad children
often c0r-ri-on in church when they
ought to be quiet"
Palatka, Florida, tells of a negro
man who has made nine bales of Sea
Island cotton, and n hundred and
fifty bushels of corn. He bought his
land on credit, has paid for it. and is
now enjoying g handsome competen-
cy.
A warning TO literary men against
OverwOrk is afforded in the remarka-
hle statement of Mr.. Greeley to Rev.
Mr.. Talmadge, ten days before his
nomination at Cincinnati, that he
had not had a sound sleep in fifteen
years"
AS a gentleman was telling his
friends that a mutual acquaintance
was sent to the penitentiaTy for gross
i~ntOXicatiOn, he was asked why he
did not bail him out. Bail MIN Out!"
he REPLIED why, you could not pump
him out"
"What makes your horse so slow p,
asked a tourist in the Glens of Down
Ireland, of his Celtic Jehu. at is
out of respect to the beautiful sanery,
yer homer. He wants you to see il all.
An thin he's an intelligent haste, and
appreciates good comuany. an wants
TO kesp the likes of We in beloved ould
Ireland az long as possible"
An old bachelor picking up a book
exclaimed, upon seeing a wOud cut of
a man kneeling at the foot ola woman,
4" Before 1 would kneel To a woman l
would circle my neck with a rope and
stretch it." And then turning to q
young woman he inquired Don't
you think it would be the best thing
[ could dO?" at would undOubted-
Iy be the best thing for the woman,"
was The sarcastic reDlV.