The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-11-14

The most pitiable object on earth is a
man whose wife wants to talk him out OF dong
something.
A prosperous merchant has for his motto:
"Early to bed and early to rise; never get tight,
and advertise"
- "Pillow slip" parties are the latest sensa-
ton at Dalton, Ga. They are very popular,
and-immensely suggestive.
- Mr.. Higgins being asked it ne Liked cod
fish balls, hesitatingly replied: "Well, really,
don't recollect ever having attended one" -.
= little Buffalo girl wants to know, If
fieas are white-because her uncle told her
that "Mary had little lamb with heas as white
as snow"
= If those brilliant geniuses who are so
ready to counsel an editor on the proper mode
of conducting his paper would try their skill
little while they would be apt to find that there
are as many who advise one course as there are
who advise another.
- Here is a good business-like epitaph ::
"Here lies Jane Smith, wife of Thomas Smith,
marble cutter. This monument was erected
by her husband as tribute to her memory and
specimen of his work. Monuments of the
same style $780,"
- Our experience in journalism, says an
exchange. teaches us that there is nothing in
this world that will so disgust and sicken the
general reader as to learn, after wading through
the particulars of an awful accident, that there
is probability of the victims recovery.
A thrilling and romantic story published
in Western paper, contains the following
passage: Gall of sudden the girl continued
to sit on the sand, gazing on the briny deep, on
whose heaying bosom the tall ships went mer-
rily by, freighted-ah who can tell with how
much of Joy end sorrow and pine lumber and
emigrants, and hopes and salt fish,"
-"Bill Arp" is now editing the Rome Com
merciaL He goes for the latest style of bustles
as follows: "We saw lady on the street yes
terday who leaned smartly forward as she
walked. From the amount of bandages and
fllin that seem to have been put over the
wound, the accident must have been serious
one. We were glad to see her out"
| Here is joke almost good enough for
Sheridan. Somebody in Kansas attempted to
inclose public road which ran through his
farm and somebody else said, "it was one of
the plainest cases of highway robbery he ever
heard of" In these degenerate days in which
wit and humor are supposed to consist mainly
| in bad spelling, we ought to be thankful for
such small favor as this.
| Tt has been said as areproach against the
fair sex, that, some of them occasionally 60 to
church as much to show off their hnery as for
purposes of devotion. The ecclesiastical au-
thorities of Lima, Peru, will not permit the
possibility of such vanity among the ladies
of that city; we are told that recently French
lady was compelled to leave the Cathedral be-
cause she had gone there with fashionable
bonnet on her head.
| = A Western gentleman has invented q
practical application of somnambulism TO do
mestic industry. The tenderest of husbands
during his waking moments; whenever his wife
does anything to displease him, he is sure to be
seized with a fit of sleep-walking, in which ne
administers to her sound castigation, and the
most curious part of the affair is that on these
occasions he is so very fast asleep that nothing
will wake him until the whipping is accom-
plished. 81.