Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1872-12-26
News and other Items.

California is going to produce bigger
and better raisins than Spain ever did.
A man has been sent to prison in
Bordeaux for calling President THEIRS
an old fool.
"This is the rock of ages" said the
| father, after rocking two hours, and
the baby still awake.
China manufactures twice the gun
powder Of any other country, but uses
more for fireworks than war.
The following advertisements appears
in provincial newspaper: Two sis
tcrs want washing. Address"
Model wives formerly tstook a stitch
| in times" now, with the aid of sewing
machines, they take one i'll no time.
A Hartford milk peddler, Lyman b.
Sage, has committed suicide. No cause
was assigned, but it was probably re-
| morse.
A Wheeling man is doing business
| at the sign Of" Homeny. beens, caned
corn, caned tomatoes, buckwheet flour,
| rasons."
The time to possess your soul in pa
thence is when your hat blows off in
the street and your eyes are too full Of
dirt to see which way it goes.
A mine of photographic stone has
been found in Rockbride county, Va,
the only other mine of the kind known
in the world being in Bavaria.
A boy at South Bend. Ind, thought
he would see how the cold iron of his
skate tasted the other morning. He
now wears what there is left of his
tongue in sling.
A man in Campbell, Pa, shot a dog
| belonging to his son, youth of tender
years. The latter retaiiated by burn
ing his barn down and then went gum
ming for the old man, but couldn't find
him. 4
The Norwich Bulletin says: "a
somewhat illiterate gentleman, with q
| view to erecting new building, has
purchased Mark Twain's Roughing
It." to study up on mansards and the
other kinds"
With a tin can, some old wire, and a
few bits of board, Louisville lad con
| structed miniature steam engine, per-
feet in all its parts. 1t finally blew up
and neutralized the baby just like a
| full grown machine.
| A st. Louis man, about to depart
| West, desirrs to sell sitting i'm one OF
the most eligible groceries in town.
| The stove is one of the most powerful
| in market, and the cracker and sugar
barrels are within easy distance.
Said Mr.. Froudc to a reporter in
search of knowledge: 81 pronounce
the OH in my name like 90 in fool."-
The reporter fears that there lisa smack
of personality about that answer,
though he can't tell just where it comes
in.
A conservative English paper thus
/ growls out an answer to the question,
"What were the Communists who de-
stroyed Paris ?" "Nine were shoe
makers, six were condemned thieves,
four unfrocked priests, four working
| jewelers., four hunchback and four
halt, three loafers, two liberated con-
victs, two assassins, two forgers, two
actors, two acrobats, two keepers OF
disreputable houses, two one-eyed
men, one stable boy, a concierge, rab-
bit-slsin merchant, q cooper, stayma-
kcr, and five madmcn What a re-
spectacle governing body!
/ A young man of thirty-three sum-
mers, living in Arkansas, paid his ad-
dresses clandestinely to the fourteen
year.old daughter of his ncighbor, and
had made arrangements to clopc with
her. The old man found it out and
demonstrated so forcibly as to break up
the thing.
demonstrated with both parties.
In the girls case his argument was a
riding whip. But in the case Of the
young man he expostulated with a
double-barrelled shotgun; and the
doctors say that if the fellow ever gets
well he will need a diaphragm in or
der to insure his perfect health and
happiness.