The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-06-21

Ave- change tells Of marine di,,,
To- Nv n ars IN zee seamen "bit the du.,
POLITICIANS ought 10 be the .-anke,
of men. They're IN the habit Of spe,l
ing out.
Why is man who is knocking stead
lily at door like q butcher? Becsn..
he knocks and knocks (knocks an or,
any DEAR" said q husband to n;
wife, "do you think q stovepipe hat
unbecoming to ms ?" ut II, decidsa
ly, when it is toe much stove" replies
the wife. '
A roUR.year-old, being asked bv h;
mother if he won i like to have wina
and be an angei. replied, "No, ma
I'd rather be a hawk and live o,
chickens"
A BABY lately had the misfortune i
swallow the contents Of an ink bottls
Its mother, with wonderful presence
mind, Immediately administered a bo,
Of steel pens and two sheets of foolscs
paper, and the child has felt wrile insid
ever since.
BELFAST has a dog which goes for III
doctor, when anybody is sick, withou
being asked. ave once had It'll
cur" says the Bangor Commercial, "ths
would not only go for the doctor, b.
anybody else tina. passed the house, an
when no one was sick, either"
A YOUNG lady who has been great
anr Dyed by lot of young simple,on
who stop under her window at night /
sing eff ever l cease to love-" wishs
us 10 say if they will cease that foolisl
ness, come in and talk 6 business" the
will confer a favor.
THE Troy Times tells about a Frenc
physician who bleaches noses of Ba
chanalian hue by means of electric
This is the homeopathic treatmen
founded on the theory that like curt
like; for when noses have been re,
dered by Jersey lightning, it ought
be easy to bleach them by electrity.
A MAN in Florida, whose credito,
were numerous, was in the habit Of ca
rying his unpaid bills in the breas
pocket of his coat. A few days ago
ruffian tried to stab him, but the bund
Of unpaid bills intercepted the knt
and saved his life. Moral: Don't pa
your bills, but keep them in you
breastpocket.
DURING Prof. Rusts first visit to Ii
Nursery" in Louisville, he proc edet
among other things, to give the lt
ones q lecture on the Five Senses
which was done to the apparent sati
faction of all except one little fellow
who remarked, on the Professors r
firing, ~ hain't seen nothin' of the
nickels yet"
The following pathetic note was pickt
up on Danbury, Ct, street: De
Jane-I hope yeu amt mad because
didn't laff at you when you latft at n
last evening at the post offs. | ain
prowd, dear Jane, brit have got b
under my arm, and can't laf as ] US
to as Heaven is my judge. Yours, trul
Henry"
FIRST Stranger-I declare, sir, th
women are getting more outrageous
decoltay every day. just look ov
there at that Prodigious old Porpoi
with the eye.glassl Second Stranger
HIM! Ha! Yesl can't help Think
she's more festive-looking object tn
that Funeral old Trump with the ia
First Stranger--The Funeral
Trump" is my wife, sir! Second Stn
ger-The Prodigious old Porpoise
mine! Let's 60 and have some tea
UP in Vermont there lived rep
bate family named Ransom. Once, no
ever, they we induced to attend
meeting during a revival. They cal
late, and had hardly taken their SCI
when the preacher gave OFT the hyn
Return, We ransom'd sinners, hom'
GAIL right" said the old man, gettl
up in rage and clapping on his
"Come along, ole woman and gals w
90 home fast enough, and everybody
this old church knows we didn't va
to come"