The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1872-07-11
IDAHO WORLD.
TWO RUSSIAN TESTERS.

UdCk lHcHl, dHu III VIII NC lOuHu lildt
in every nation, some one parsonage
real or mythical, is selected as the lay.
figure upon which all popular jests are
by common consent displayed. The
English have their Joe Miller, the Ger
mans their Schiltburger and Tyll Eu.
denspeigel, the Americans their Colonel
Crockett, the Orientals their Nasired-
din ell Kheiah; and, in the same way,
the chosen godfathers of Russian hui
NOR are Balakireff, the jester, and Mar
shall Suvorof. The latter name has
long since passed into history; but the
former requires some introduction to
non-Russianreaders. Popular traditions
unite in representing BalakireH as the
constant attendant of Peter the Great,
who figures largely in all the stories
attached to the name of his buffoon
Many of these stories are probably the
fabrication of o later age; but fair
proportion of them bear marks Of au-
thenticity, and, as fair specimens of ma
tional humer, are worth quoting
On one occasion Balakiretf begged
permission of his imperial master to at
tach himself to the guard stationed at
the palace, and Peter, for the sake of
the joke, consented-warning him at
the same time that any officer Of the
guard who happened to lose his sword,
or be absent from his post when sum
moned, was punished with death The
newly-made officer promised to do his
best; but the temptation Of some good
wine sent TO his quarters that evening
by the car, ''to moisten his commission
proved too strong for him; and he par
took so freely as to become completely
screwed" While he was sleeping off
his debauch, Peter stole softly into the
room, and carried off his sword. Bala.
kireff, missing it on awaking, and fright
ened out of his wits at the probable
consequences, could devise no better
remedy than to replace the weapon with
his own professional sword OF lath. the
hilt and trappings of which were cx-
actly similar TO those of the guardsmcn. /.
Thus equipped. he appeared on parade /
the next morning, confident in the as,
surance of remaining undetectcd if not
forced to draw his weapon But Peter
who had doubtless forescen his contin- /.
gency, instantly began stormin- at one .
of the men for his untidy appearance. /
and at length turned round upon Bala-
kireff with the stern order, Captain
Balakiref, draw your sword and cut
that sloven down :"
The poor jester, thus brought fairly
to bay, laid his hand on his hilt as If to
obey, but at the same time exclaimed
fervently, "Ncrciful Heaven, let my
sword be turned into wood.7
And drawing the weapon, he exhibit
ed in very deed a harmless lath. Even
the presence of the Emperor was pow
erless to check the roar of laughter
which followed; and Balakireff was al.
lowed to escape.
The testers ingenuity occasionally
served him in extricating others from
trouble as well as himself. A cousin oil
his, having fallen under the displcaSurc
of the car, was about To be executed:
and Balakireff presented himself at !
court to petition for a repricve. Peter
seeing him enter, and at once divining
his errand, shouted to him, Its no use
your coming here; swear | will not
grant what you are going to askw
Quick as thought, Balakireff dropped
on his knees and exclaimed, Peter Al
exeievitch, 1 beseech you put that scamp
of cousin of mine to DEATH" Peter. !,
thus caught in his own trap, had no
choice but to laugh, and send a pardon
to the offender. !
During one of the cars Livonian Il
campaigns thick fog greatly obstruct-
ed the movements of the army. At a
length pale watery CLEAN began to d
show itself through the mist, and two c
of the Russian officers fell to disputing a
whether this was the sun or not. BaIa- 81
kiref, happening to pass at that mo- G
ment, they appealed to him to decide. 9
rs thatlightyonder thesun brother?" )
"How shall | know~ answered the
ester; "Pve never been here before!" m
At the end of the same campaign,
several of the officers were relating a
heir exploits, when Balakireff stepped
n among them. Owe got a story to OF