, 1872-11-03
CUPS.

Whaling grounds-Schoo1~hou
When is mother fathar2 When she's
sigher.
Sweet idea for new drawing-roo ballad
" I'll bury my love in the garden, it will make
the apple-tree grow"
"A Kansas girl visited house where her mur-
dered lovers body WAS lying. at ossawatomie,
last Monday, and vas so deeply affected that she
asked the lady Of the house: 8 Mrs. s., have you
put up my apple-butter yet?"
Two female BARRIERS in Brussels show wom-
ans effort to razor self to Independence:
The pre.hysteric period-before tight laclng
Was invented.
"A Danbury citizen sent over to = neighbor
on Friday evening to borrow the Danbu1y Neacs,
and Was told that he would have to wait until
our Jane got back from the ball.
On q woman with red hair, who wrote
poetry: Unfortunate woman +; how sad is your
lot Your ringlets are red, but your poems are
not.
There is q man in Columbus 80 fond Of
money that, it is said, after paying man bill,
he walks down home with him SO as to be near
the money long as possible.
The San Francisco Chronicle has received
the following letter: "To the Editor Of the
Chronicle: Si1-Please permit Mr. Crittenden
to shoot as much as he pleases. Give Mrs. Lane
what 1audanum abe can swallow. Mountain
Sentiment"
-"Keep EN- alive, boy; keep 'em alive!"
said an old physician to his young young brother prac-
titioner. "Dead men pay no bills"
ALI mention Of Froude
IB hencefo1th dlsalloWed.
Nor shall any now de-
Scribe him as Etou-de;
For he swears by the rood
That his name it is Froude.
The misery Of being called upon suddenly
to make speech was got over by q mathema-
tician, who delivered himself in this fashion:
"Gentlemen, morbid desire for originality pre-
ment of my life, and it does not occur to me- to
ssv ANYTHING else,"
60, y,one Of hartford's popular dry goods mar
chants WAS asked the other day how he spent
his evenings. His reply Was u: " At night
store my mind, and during the day mind my
store"
1t is said that the Temperance party in Mas
gachusetts proposes to abolish all railway depots
because theyre car'ouses.
What did the young lady mean when she
cars, but you may take buss "7
"A horse has been known to 60 through the
| bars Of field correctly, and without missing al
oat.
inr over the i lesson his son had recited that day,
von ~ to p speH metempsychosis :" "Oh, father"
said the boy, 81 just stood spe1l-bound!"
Mr.. Cobb recently married Miss Webb. He
knew that they we're meant to be Joined IS soon
"A Queer old gentleman having been asked
| what be wished for dinner, replied: An appe-
tite, good company, something to eat' and q
| napkin"
[s Mamma" said precocious nHleboy, who,
against his will, was made to rock the cradle Of
| his baby brother, "if the doctor has any more
| babies to give away, don't you take EN-"
/ -"Weight for the Wagon, as the fat lady
sang.
wiring.
eating-houBe, "as strong as the kick OF mule" "
complains that he got it "as weak as good
resolution"
"A stupid fellow found light guinea in
street Of London one day, which he was obliged
to sell for eighteen shillings. The next day he
| saw another guinea lying in the street, and Was
| about to pick it up, but suddenly passed on,
| muttering, stNo, no. I'll have nothing to do
with you. I lost three shillings by your brother
| yesterday"
seldom known to be in a passion: When at Ok
| lord he was one day debating with. a fellowship
dent who, not keeping bis temper, threw q glass
| of wine in his face. Mr. Henderson took out
his handkerchief, wiped his face, and cooly
said, s'That, cir, was 8 digression; now for the
argument"
t n" Happy is the country that has no his
tory" as the achoolboy said on being logged the
third time for not knowing who WAS Henry
| Wis wife.
A boy about 10 years old, named Lait, en-
tared the Detroit Central Police Station with
anxious couutenance, and to the inter1ogations
Of the Sergeant, he replied, "Oh, it's the old
folks again, pounding and mauling each other,
| and smashing up the dishes. I've talked to 'em,
| and reasoned with 'em, but they keep right on
IT'S getting dreary up there, and 7 guess you'd
better bring 'em both in. and give EN- three
months each"