The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1872-07-18
sEHsoMAalE SUGGESTIONS.

A cup OF tea Is better than a gal
lon OF ice water. The way to keep
perpetually hot is to fan furiously.
The coolest part of the house is that
which has not been baked, under
the mistaken idea that every GRANNY
should be wide open "to let in the
fresh air." The man who hasn't
anything in particular to live for
ought to jump under a shower bath
while In profuse perspiration. The
men with the limpest clothes on are
the most comfortable. A light
flannel next to the skin acts as a
cooling sponge to the whole person.
Ice cream and strawberries at mid
night will require the doctor before
morning. A capital way ofnot keep
ing well is to eat green cherries. The
person who eats no meat and he
who eats nothing else is fool, for
the time being. The hardest per-
son to keep cool are those who have
nothing to do and who attend to it
with all their might. Going to bed
at midnight, getting up at five o'clock
and taking long walk "in the cool
of the morning" are exercises in
dulged by people who keep underta-
kers, out of bankruptcy. If a person
! conscientiously diets himself exclu-
sively on fruits and vegetables all
summer, he ought to keep standing
prescription for dysentery tackled on
the inside of his hat. Those who
find themselves getting sick and flat
ter themselves that they will get over
it, without any medical atten-
ton, generally find out that the
doctor OF physic when he calls, ad-
vises the patient to call in his
aud domino, A well-filled garbage
barrel, if maintained in ordinary
condition in front of the house
during the heat of the day, will be
pretty sure to prove long obituary
resolutions, and will come to be
called GA mysterious dispensation
of Providence" Folks with too-ma-
ny children should feed them on APP
ple.dumplings three times day. If
ones mother-inslaw bores one, insist
upon it that rhubarb pie and pineap-
Piles at midnight won't hurt her di-
gestion. Greenwood owes two.thirds
of its success to people, who knew
that tho physicians were a set of
| quacks, and that every man ought to
be his own doctor. A couple of pic
MICS per week will send almost any
one to an eternal excursion. A very
good way to keep babies always still
and quiet Is to feed them lots of par
egoric, and let them sleep without a
cover on them at night, with their
crib placed just in front of a window
just where the wind can play over
them. The people that are "making
| up their minds where they shall go
in the country" will find Cox's Book
of Martyrs. and the Revelations of
the Inquisition light and pleasing
reading. The persons who intend to
1 leave town on the afternoon of the
/ Sd Of July must not, on any account,
d forget to buy fireworks before they
\ go. 1t is the only way to prevent
an explosion on the 9Th, when they
return. Now is a good time to get
. into an animated discussion upon the
question of whether Mr.. Beecher
once said q certain thing or not with
reference to the weather. People
who believe in funerals should lay
in crate of cucumbers, and every
time an infant cries, should soothe it
with piece of raw pork. A trip to
Coney Island cannot be compared to
one to Long Branch-except that il
is more comfortable and cheap. Per,
SONS who don't want to cool off too
,, suddenly can go to church, or sit or
the smokers seats in the open cars,
Men who have forgotten to mail let
, tiers for their wives in these days
] can get up breeze any day by con
J Tossing their neglect. Folks tha
keep their refrigerators out in the
= backyards won't be apt to use toe
! much ice. To oblige the butcher
e and the grave-digger, order your
J meats two days ahead. To find out
J. how many mosquitoes and bugs
!, there are about "let the lower,lights
be burning" "Fly-paper" judicious
2 ly distributed throughout the house
+ answers the best purpose of an emet
: ~ H--e