The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-09-13
Personal Advertisements.
AN AMusINa COMEDY OF rRnon:

AN AMUSING COMEDY OF ERRORS.
Tho mischiefs which Satan finds for the
idle hands Of clerks and statesmen during
the long summer days when trade is
slack are innumerablc, but one Of the
most common IS the publishing and an
swering OF personal advertisements.
There is spice of wiCkedness and sus.
picion Of possible danger in the amusc-
ment which makes it trebly fascinating
TO the masculine mind, and the naughty
young scamps find real enjoyment in
writing and reading the soliest of soft |
epistles, and, OF course, showing them to
their seventeen particular friends.
In one Of the large dry goods stores the
boOk,bOokers desk is occupied by three
young men known to their friends as
Gus, Dick and Will. Gus, the book
keeper is stylish, fashionable man of
twenty-three, with musical tastes, tai.
ent for dancing the dOur temps and posi-. |
tive genius for dressing himself. Dick, his
assistant is q little younger, slender, quiet,
but given to practical jokes OF q rather
severe type. VIII, the cntry.clerk is a
curly headed youth OF twenty, who sings
"What care l." alternately with "Fair
Harvard" and continually incites his
elders to mischiGvous exploits oil which |
they would never have dreamed without
his prompting. Unto this last man Of |
figures Beelzebub whispered, about q
month ago, that it would be an exceed. |
ingly pretty and proper thing to begin u
correspondence with somebody, and, with |
Commendable economy he determined, in.
stead OF inserting an advertisement in a
daily paper 10 answer one which he found |
asking for lady correspondents He took
his best pen and some note paper borrow.
ed from his sisters writing desk, and soon
produced happy combination OF grace.
full phrases and lNdy.like caligraphy that
would have moved heart OF stone. This
he read to his two friends, was duly prais.
ed for his rhetoric and the briliiancy OF
his device for tightening their heavy ieis-
ure, and despatched 1t.
After two or three days impatient
waiting, an answer was received. The
swain OF the advertisement appeared TO
be pleased with the style of his unknown
correspondent, addressed her as MY dear
little Della" signed himself "Yours eler.
nally," and asked for meeting. Della
responded bashlully, apparently terrified
by the ardOr Of her eager sutton; she
would not meet him just yet; he must |
wait until they were better acquainted.
The next day he OF the advertisement,
who, by the way, had the impotence 10 |
sign himself Arthur Pendennis, wrote
again; he would not insist upon an inter.
view; would respect Dclia's maiden
scruples, and laid out plan Tor discus.
sion, In correspondence, Of range Of
topics which included art, literature,
music, society, the drama, and nearly |
everything in the universe, from science |
10 skating.
The three friends determined not to be
outdone, but to make the Della of their
creation q paragon OF briliancy, admitted
one Of the statesmen, a Harvard graduate,
10 their confidence, and, under hls direc.
ton, added few subjects to the list, and
Tor fortnight letters were written daily. |
Sixteen, twenty and twenty.iour pages
ibid these energetic young men cover
with dispositions upon various top.
les, taxing all their knowledge to do |
SO, and sometimes being compelled 10
resort 10 the Public Library for the
solution Of the abstruse problems pro.
pounded by their correspondent. At
length they began to find this SLOW"
They were weary Of Darwin; digusled
with AgAssiz; tired Of Parker; sick OF the
French republic, Gladstone md Bismarck;
hated the very names OF FeChter and
Booth, and did not care whether Men.
dGlssOhn or Wagner, Mozart or Strauss,
was to be called the great musician oil ali
time, They determined to hint that per.
haps the blushing Della would be willing,
moi 10 grant an lntcrviGw-shade oil 81.
Ursula forbid but TO be at u picture
store some pleasant Saturday afternoon,
dressed in certain specified way, and to |
allow her Arthur 10 look at her for mo.
ment The hint was rapturOusly received,
an appointment was made, and our four
young men, with three particular friends |
from other stores, made their appearance |
at the picture gallery, and stationed them.
selves anywhere but in the spot dcsigna.
ted as the waiting place Of the lair Della,
upon which, however, they kept II careful
watch.
Asst happened there was no one else
in the room which they had selected, and
they had tine u become impatient before
any one entered. AllCngth young man
appeared whom they recognized as sales.
man In u rival store, Gni ut whom they
stared frigidly, inwardly hoping that he
had come TO meet "DGlia" lie seemed
unconscious Of their presence, however,
and sauntered about carCleSsly, twirlng
his cane. A few minutes after two young
Journalists entered, arm in arm, seemed
rather astonishcd at the ray OF masculine
faces before them, and also addressed
themselves 10 inspecting the works OF art
before them. A boOkkGCper and n cashier
from large music store were tho next
arrivals; they bowed slightly to the jour
nalists and salesman, then, with trans
parent pretCnCc Of not knowing them, he.
came profoundly interested In one o! lt0.
gers statuCltcs. The parents Of DCliR
were provoked TO utlGring quiet profanity
rs they passed each other occasionally in
their Journeys about the room.
Two hours past the time, md yet Ar.
] thur Pendennis was not at hand, They
began TO think that perhaps they were
the victims Of Joke instead Of the play.
era Gus" said Dick sadly, we've
wasted our time, tho fellow won't come"
"Nonscn3c," said Dick, I'll he don't come
now, hG'a sure 10 come some other day,
We will write him sadly repr0achiul note,
and drop tears over 1t, out Of the water.