Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-12-12
Illuminating Animals.

BRING out your big dictionaries and
hunt up that word Illuminating. May be,
you know what it means already, but it
will do you no hurt to hear what that stiff
old schoolmaster, whose name begins
with W., has to say about it. There is
no use in trying to argue him out of an
opinion. His mind is made up, and
what he says he's sure to stand by. Let
us see. Ruminant," says the school
master, "an animal that chews the cud,"
and goes on to explain very carefully that
these animals have four stomachs, and as
If that was not enough to dispose of their
food, they bring it back into the mouth
after swallowing, and chew it over again.
Then comes Illuminate, to chew the cud,
as an animal; to muse; to mediate over
and over; to reflect upon"
The last part of that definition helped
me out of serious difficulty. / knew
cows and sheep were Illuminating ami
mails. 1 thought / remembered that
the camel and hippopotamus be-
longed to the same class; but why a.
human being, who surely had but one
stomach, should chew the cud was unac-
countable. And yet for several years
/ have noticed that boys and girls, espe-
cialIy girls, certainly do chew the cud.
I've seen them at school; I've even seen
them at church, poor things, with their
jaws going like a grist-mill-grind, grind.
grind. 1t really troubled me. i began
to wonder if it were not possibly true
that we had grown up from monkeys, and
now, having reached the top Of the hill,
were going back again to monkeys. Some
where in the chain. perhaps, the sheep
comes in But here is good old master
w. says that ruminate means also to
mediate over and over-to reflect upon.
III 81
man ruminants are only thinking. The
other night, at panorama, pretty girl
right in front of me exclaimed, "Oh,
desri laughed so I've swallowed my
gum" GumI thought /; so that is what
they call it, instead of cud; and set my
self to find out what that might be.
"Cheuing sum," said the storekeeper,
"why, we sell more of that than of candy,
though the sale isn't quite so good las it
was little while ago."
"Is it good 10 eat?"
"Oh. no; only to chew" said the man;
"there's spicy sort of taste to it; and
then folks get in the habit of chewing,
and feel uneasy without something in their
mouths. Some folks think it makes the
teeth white"
"Ahl I'll ask the doctor about that"
and so did.
"All nonsensel" said the doctor; "folks
say the same thing about tobacco. Inc
fact is that the habit of chewing excites
the salivary glands, and causes an unnat-
ural flow of saliva, injuring the mouth
and teeth, and cheating the stomach So
far as the mouth is concerned ii is just as
bad to chew gum as tobacco, and in fact
it naturally leads to it."
But gum is clean, doctor; il has
pleasant, spicy taste, and tobacco is dirty
stuff"
"What do you suppose gum is made
of ?" said the doctor with a dreadful
smile.
al know" said I, triumphantly; ''the
manufacturers told me. Gum tragacanth,
gum arabic, rosin, and fat"
Just So" said the doctor; "now read
this" and he gave me newspaper slip,
and went away, while read:- 1.-The fet
used in the manufacture of gum is almost
wholly obtained from dead animals, cats
and dogs picked up about the streets and
alleys, old omnibus horses, in fact, any
kind of refuse fat"
My dear ruminating animals, there is
something to add interest to the pleasant,
spicy taste of your cud, as you muse and
mediate overitl / hope you will medi-
tate TO such good purpose that the trade
in chewing gum may be ruined forever.
Lille CORPORAL
North Stonington, Conn, mines 25