The Lincoln County herald., 1872-11-20
relative, and I have come arouad to
demand, sir, what do you mean BY the
following infamous language y

"The death ange, smo.e Alexander McGlue,
And gave him protracted repose
lie wore a checked shirt Number Nine shoe,
And he had n pink wart on his nose.
No doubt he is happier dwelling in space
Over theraon the ever green shore,
His friends are informed that his funeral takes
place
Precisely at quarter past fouri
"This is simply diabolical My late
brother had no wart on his nose, sir.
He had upon his nose neither a pink
wart nor green wart, nor a cream col.
ored wart, nor wart of any other color.
1t is slander 1t is . gratuituos insult
to my family, and distinctly want you
to say what you mean bv such conduct "
Really, sir" said Brmmer, ut is a
mistake. This is the horrible work Of
an incendiary mscreaut whom [ used as
a brother. He shall be punished by my
own hand for this outrage. A pink
wart! Awful, sir awful The missr
able scoundrel shall suffer for this--ho
shall. indeed
"And who," said another mao address
ing the editor, "authorized you to print
this hideeus stuff about my deceased
son Do you mean to say it was not
with your authority that your low come
dian inserted the following scandaleus
burlesaue Listen to this:
"wiie had purple monkey climbing on
And when he sucked the paint all off it made
him deathy sick;
And in his latest hours he clasped that monkey
in his hand,
And bid goodbye to earth and went into q
better land.
Oh no more he'll shoot his sister with hi,
little wooden gun;
And no more he'll twist the pussy's tail ant
make her yowl fCr fun.
| The pussy's tail now stands out straight tbC
gun is laid aside;
The monkey doesn't jump around since little
Wi lie died"
"The utterly utroc,ous character Of
this balderdash will appear when | say
that William was twenty years old, that
he never had purple monkey on a
stick, that he never sucked such thing
that he never fooled with cats, and that
he died of liver complaint"
"Infamous ! utterly infamous u groan
ed the editor, as he cast his eyes over
the liHes "And the wretch who did
this still lives 1t is too much T.
"And yet" whispered OFT to himself
"hc told me to tighten tho gloom and to
cheer the afflicted family with the re-
sources of my art; and certainly
thought the idea about the monkey would
have that effect, somehow. 1t is un.
grateful"
Just then there was knock at the
door, and a woman entered, crying.
Are you the editor?" she inquire d
Of Brimmer.
Brimmer said be was.
"W.w we'll" she said, in voice
broken by sots, "wh what do you mean
by publishing this kind of poetry a.abou
m my Johnny? M my name is S smith
and wher locked this III morning fol
the notice of Johnny's d death in YOU
paper, saw this awful, wicked, wickec
v verse:
| "Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith
| They bistered and they bled him;
With squils and anti bilious pills,
And ipecac they fed him.
| Thev-Stirrcd him up with c,lomel,
| And tried to move his liver;
But all in vain-his little soul
| Was waited o'e- the River"
"It's false false that's what it is
Johnny only had one doctor. And they
didn't try to m move his liver, and they
didn't b bleed him and blister him. 1t,
a wicked faIsehood, and you're hard
hearted brute for printing it!"
Madam, shall 20 crazy if you con-
tinue," exclaimed Brimmsr. "This i.
not my work. 1t is the work OF ser
pent whom warmed in my bosom, and
whom l shall slay with my own hand
as soon as he comes 10. Madam, the
miserable outcast shall die |"
"Strange strange u unused OFT.
"And this man told me to combine ele
waiting sentiment with practical informa
tion. If the information concerning the
squills and ipecac is not practical, have
misunderstood the use Of that word
And if young Smith didn't have -four
doctors, it was an outrage; he ought tc
have had them, aud they ought to have
| cXclteu MS llV6Ts nus " Us, tuouSut
OFT, that human life is sacrificed to
care lessness"
At this juncture the sheriff entered
his brow clothed with thunder. He had
copy of The Morning Glory in his
hand. He approached the editor, and
pointing to death notice, said:
Read that horrible mockery Of my
woe and tell me the name Of the writer
go that | can chastise him"
The editor read as follows:
We have lost our little Hannah in a very pain
| full manner,
And we often asked, Glow can her suHerngs b'
! borne?"
When her death was first reported, her aunt go
| up and snorted
With the grief that she supported, for it made
her feel forlorn.
She was such little seraph, that her father who
if Sheriff,
Really doesn't seem to care II he never smiles
again.
She is gone, we nope, to heaven, at the early ag'
of seven,
Funeral starts off at eleven) where she'll ncve