The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-08-08

pnanS HarSOn MOrrel hadn't hi
match. The women sot lots by hin
and he was allus' ready to take te
round, and make things pleasant an
comfortable, and he Lad a good stor,
for every one and word for the child
rem, and maybe an apple or a cooke,
in his pocket for 'em. Wal, you know
there amt no pleasin' everybody, an
eff Gabriel himself, right down out @
heaven, was to come and be a minis
ter, / expect. there'd be a pickin at hi
wings, and sort o. fault findin'. Nov
Aunt Jerusha Seran and Aunt Poll,
/ HOkun they sed ParsOn MOrrel VAIN
solemn enough. Ye see there's then
that thinks minister ought to be jes
like the town hearse, so that We thinl
Of death, Judgment and eternity, an,
nothin' else, when ye see him round
and ef they see man rosy and chip
per, and havin' pretty nice soeiabl,
sort of time, why they say he aim
| spiritOOal minded. But in my time:
Pve seen ministers that the mos
awakenin' kind in the pulpit was tn,
liveliest when they VSas out ont
There is q time to laugh, Scriptur
says, tho some folks never seem TO re.
member that are"
''But Sam, how came you to say
that it was Ike Bibbit's fault ? What
was it about the sheep ?D
''Oh wal, yis-Tm a comin' to thai
are. 1t was all about them sheep
expect they was the instrument the
devil sot to work, to tempt ParsOn
MOrrel to laugh in prayer-time
Ye see there was old Dick, Ikeis
bellwether, was the fightin'est old
erittur that ever yer see. Why Dick
would butt at his own shadder, and
everybody said il was a shame the
old crittur should be left to run loose,
cause he run at the children and
scared the women half out of their
wits. Wal, / used to live out in that
parish in them days and Neb Sudoc
and used to go out sparkin' Sunday
nights to see the Larkin gals-and we
had to go right cross the lot where
Dick was-sO we used to 90 and stand
at the fence and call, and Dick would
see US and put down his head and run
at us full chisel, and come bunt agin
the fence and then I ketch him by
the horns and hold him while Lem
run and got over the fence t'other
side the lot, and then I'd let 90 and
Lem would holler and shake a stick
at him and away he'd go full butt at
Lem, and Lem would ketch his
horns and hold him till I came over
that was the way we managed Dick
but ef he come sudden up behind a
a fellow, he'd give him a butt in the
small OF his back that would make
him run on all fOurs one whiIe-he
was a great rogue Dick was. Wal,
that summer remember they had old
Deacon Titkins for tithing-man, and I
tell you he give it to the boys lively.
Thar warn't no sleepin' nor no play
in, for the deacon had eyes like a
gimlet, and he was quick as a cat,and
the youngsters he'd to look cut for
themselves. It did really seem as if
the deacon was like them four beasts
in the Revelations that was full o.
eyes behind and before, for which
ever way way he was standin' if you
gave only wink ne was down on
you and hit you 4 tap with his stick.
L know once Lem SudOc jist wrote
two words in the psalm-book and
passed to Kesiah Larkin, and the dea-
con gave him such a tap that Lem
grew red as beet and vowed he'd be
up with him some day for that.
"Well, Lord massy, folks that is so
clipper and high steppin has to have
their come downs, and the deacon he
had to hev his.
'HThat areSunday remember it
now jest as well as if twas yesterday.
The parson he give us his gret sermon
recOncilin' DEGREES and free agency
everybody said that are sermon was a
masterpiece. He preached it up to
Cambridge at commencement, but it
so happened it was one o. them bilin'
hot days come in August, when you
can fairly hear the huckleberries a
sizzling and cOOkin' on the bushes,
and the locust keeps a gratin like a
red hot saw. Wal, such times, de
crees or no DEGREES, the best on us
will get sleepy. The old meetin' house
stood right down at the foot of 4 hill
that KEEP off all the wind, and the sun
blaZcd away at them gret west win
ders, and there was pretty sleepy
times there. Well, the deacon he
flew round a spell, and woke up the
children Snd tapped the boys on the
head and kept everything straight as
he could till the sermon was most
through, when he rally got most
tuckered out, and he took chair and
he sot down in the door right opposite
the minister and fairly got to sleep
himself, just as the minister got up to
make the last prayer.
"Wal, Parson MOrrel had a way o.
prayin' with his eyes open. Folks
thought it WANT the best way,
but it was ParsOn MorrePs way
anyhow, and so while he was prayin'
he couldn't help see'in that Dea-
con Titkins was nOddin' and a
bobbin' out toward the place where
old Dick was feedin' with the sheep,
front o. the meetin'-hOuse door.
HLem and me was sittini where we
could look out and we Jest sees old
Dick stop feedin' and look at the dea-
con. The Deacon had a little round
head as smooth as an apple, with a
nice powdered wig on il, and sOt
there maxim bObs and bows, and Dick
begun to think it was suthin sort o.
pussOnal. Lem and me was sittin'
lest where we could look out and see
the hull picture and Lem was fit to
split.
"'GOOd, nOw,' says he, that crit
ter'u pay the deacon OF lively, pretty
soon.'n
tThe deacon bobbed his head spell
and old Dick he shook his horns and
stamped at him sort o. thretenin'
Finally the deacon he gave a great
bow and brought his head right doWU
at him, and old Dick he set out full
tilt and came down on him ker chunk
and knocked him head over heels int
the broad aisle, and his wig flew one
way and he tOther, and Dick made 8
plunge st it as it flew, and carried i
off on his horns.
''Wal, you may believe that broke
up the meetin' for one while, for Par.
son MOrrei laughed out, and the gal:
and boys they stomped and roared, anC
the old deacon he got up and begar
rubbing his shins-cause he did'n
see the joke ont.
"'You don't orter laugh says he
it's no laughing matter-it'sa q solemn
! thing says he. 4 might have beer
sent into 'tarnity by that dared crit
tur,' says he. Then they all roareC
and haW-hawed, the more to see the
deacon danein' round with his little
shiny head so smooth q fly would
trip up ont. 4 believe, my SOU, ,you'C
laugh to see me in my grave, says
| he.
"Wal, the truth ont was, twas jis
one of them bustin' up times that ma
! tUf has, when there amt nOthin' iOI