davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

1.-THE DEVIL IN Ny BREEcHEs AN old
preach in the little chapci at Bristol got % so wet
that he had to borrow pair of dry inexpressi-
bles from his host, who had but his every day
breeches at liberty, which, unknown to both,
were occupied by colony of ants. As the old
gentleman warmed in the service the ants got
more and more lively and very soon after he
commenced his sermon the itching became
quite intolerably, and no amount of scratching
appeased it. Not knowing how to account for
it, but finding it impossible to go on, he
stopped and said: My friends, l am sure I
have got grace in my heart, bat believe the
devils in my breeches.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

The ENGLISH SUCCESSION The recent
critical condition of the Prince of Wales
caused great deal of speculation as to the
results upon the monarchy in the event of his
death In view of the bad health of the
Queen, and her reported desire to retire from
the cares of State, the succession, it is thought
might be left in a precarious condition. The
Prince has son now aged eight years, who
would be heir to the throne, and in the event
of the death of the Prince, if the death or abdi-
cation of his mother should follow his demise, a
regency would be established, and perhaps the
Queens second son, Alfred, Duke of Edin-
burgh, or her cousin, the Duke of Cambridge,
be made regent Victoria, however, who is
now only ffty-two years of age, might continue
to reign till the son of the heir apparent should
be of age. There is, however, another contin-
gency, which was contemplated before the
sickness of the Prince of Wales, and which may
continue to possess interest in case he RECEIVERS
In the event of the abdcatiOn of Victoria he
was spoken OF as regent of the empire, and
this project may be revived should he recover
AS the Prince is unpopular, on account Of hi
reckless mode of life, and has shown ne
capacity for government, such regency might
create more dangerous crisis to the monarchy
than would be likely to follow his death
There is good deal Of discomfort already with
the eostiuess of royalty, and this might bC
greatly heightened by the regency Of not yer!
exemplary Prince.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

WHIsKEY Has USED HIM UP."-There
is scarcely a community or neighborhood from
Maine to Oregon where this saying is not used
almost every day in the year, and altogether
too truly. A subject of :this kind is to be
found in almost every town. The merchant
has failed and whiskey has done it. The
lawyer, with his brilliant talent and large
business, has fallen below the range of respec
liability and confidence. Whiskey was the
cause. The politician, with bright prospects
before him, has played out, and the account is
charged to whskey. The Judge Of talent, age
and respectablity, is the subject Of private and
neighborhood talk. His enemies point with
derison, and his friends hang their heads in
shame, and whiskey has done it, That kind
hearted neighbor and hard workingman has
become a pest in society and trouble to his
family. Whiskey has beat him Whiskey
will beat any man living, and that is just what
it is made for.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A QUAKER ON TIME.-A committee of eight
twelve clock. Seven of them were punctual
but the eighth came busting in with apologies
for being quarter of an hour behind time.
1.-THE time" said he, "passed away without
my being aware of it. l had no idea of it
being so late" &c.
A Quaker present said: 81 am not sure that
we should admit thy excuse" 1t were a mat
ter of great regret that thou shouldst have
wasted thine own quarter of an hour; but
there are seven besides thyself, whose time
thou hast also consumed, amounting in the
whole to TWO hours, and one-eighth of it only
was thine own property"
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

During the Grand Duke Alexis walks
through the Bridgeport cartridge factory the
other day, he pointed to several working men
and inquired of Governor Jewell, Are these
men what you call the common people ?"
The Governor replied that they were fair
specimen Of the working classes in this cOun-
try. But do you mean to say that these get
into official posi:on?" further asked the In
perial scion Perhaps not any Of these men,
reioined Governor Jewell; "but men Of their
class do they are educated men, most Of them
that is they can probably read aud write,
and most of them take and read the news
papers" DO you know Of any case where
such men have been actually elected to Officer
again queried the curious Alexis. co. GER
tainly," the Governor said; II myself, worked
in the shop as tanner till was twenty years
of age )" and the announcement seemed to
puzzle the Duke good deal Here was the
Governor of the State, as well dressed and as
well appearing as himself, who had actually
worked in a shop, and this man was welcoming
him in behalf of hundred thousand voters
it was more of an enigma than the boy had
ciphered on previously; but as he goes through
the country he will ascertain, upon inquiring
that very many of the public men here have
come direct from the workshop. In Massa
chusetts, where he is now visiting, Governor
Clafin was a shoemaker, Senator Wilson wa
cobbler also, and General Banks was ma
chinist. st.-Hartford Courdat.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Can Catholic Bishop silence priesti It
has Just been decided by Pennsylvania Court
that he cannot. Bishop o. Hara undertook to
remove priest from his pastorate the letter
obtained an injunction restraining the Bishop,
and this has been made perpetual, But, un
fortunately, it happens that, according to the
Church theory, the Bishop, in controversies
like these, must always be right, and when a
reason, sets up his own will against the Bish-
OPS authority, through the act itself he ceases
to be a Catholic The whole polity of the
Church is one of discipline not unlike that of
the army or navy; and, if a soldier, or sailor
does mt please to submit to his Admiral or
Maior-General, he must take the consequence
or leave the service. 1t may be hard, but that
is the rule to which he promised observation.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

MARRIAGE N0TICEs-The London Times
was the first paper which charged for their
marriage announcements Ia the early days
of that paper it was the custom in announcing
marriage to state the amount of the brides
dowry-G2O 900, or 100000, or whatever it
might happen to be !; and in looking through
the ladies' column one morning at breakfast
Mr.. Walter threw out the suggestion that if a
man married all this money he might certainly
pay trifing percentage upon it TO the printer
for scquainting the world with the fact. "These
marriage fees would form nice little pocket
money for me, my DEAR" added Mrs. Walter,
and as joke her husband agreed to try the
experiment The charge at first was but a
trihe and the annual amount probably moi
much But Mrs. Walter at her death passed
this prescriptive right Of hers to her daughter
and when few years ago the right was re
purchased by the present proprietor it was as
sessed at $4,000 to $4,000 year.-Ne,o YOrl
Observer
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

At the same time and place, the Trustee above
named will. bV virtue OF another order of the SAID
Orphans Court sell the title and interests OF Alvin
Severson and Mary Severson-minOrs of John Sever
son and grandchildren OF John p. Rees above named
lin the several parcels Of land described IN the above
advertisement. The terms of payment of the pur-
chase money of these minors will be the as in
the above stated advertisement.
Attendance will be given and terms made known
by JOSEPH p. COMEGYS, ESQ.,. Trustee.
By order of the Court,
Attest: A. TAYLOR. Clerk.
Dover, December 18th. 1871.
NB.-Twenty per cent. OF the purchase money
of the said minors interests must be paid at the time
Of sale upon the terms above expressed and all ex-
penses of papers must he borne by the purchasers
JOSEPH p. COMEGYS, Trustee.
I q O. HARRINGTON Auctioneer dec27ts
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A "FRAzE. An Irishman, being annoyed
by a bowling dog in the MI ght, jumped out Of
month of January, when the snow was three
feet deep. He not returning, his wife ran out
to see what was the matter. There she found
her husband in his night shirt, his teeth chat
tering, and his whole body almost paralyzed
with cold, holding the struggling dog by the
tail.
Holy motherl Pat" says she, "what wud
ye be atther doin'?''
"Hush" said he; don't ye see? I'm
tryin' to fraze the baste T.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

The Car of Russia does not intend to fur
nish an enemy with any offensive weapons, if
possible. The French railways, during the
war, came back to plague their owners, and
were of as much service to the enemy as to
the French, as Prussia ran her own cars and
locomotives to the very walls OF Paris; TO
ways which the Russian Emperor is now build
ing, he uses a different gauge from that of any
adjoining country.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Thomas Wentworth Higginson protests
against some features of the proposed Civil
Service Reform, but specially against the pop
uar faith in competitive examinations. His
article in the Independent on the subject insists
that they should be taken only as an expert
ment, not proclaimed as a panacea, and de-
saying that there is no reason why a work
which is necessarily corrupting, if done by, a
President or Congressman, will lose all ele-
ments of corruption when done by something
called board.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Mock turtle-Kissing before company, and
fighting afterwards.
HINT TO ToPERs.-How to keep holiday
Keep sober.
Care to our coffin adds a nail, no doubt.
And every grin, so merry, draws one out.
An early spring-Jumping out of bed at five
O. clock 10 the morning.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

The Speaker Of the British House of Com
mons has magnificent residence, fnished
and kept in repair at the public expense,
and containing one hundred rooms. He re-
ceves salary Of $25 900, and on retirement is
always created Viscount, and has a pension
of $2O0O0, which on his death passes to his
eldest son. Oddly enough, neither the late nor
the present Speaker, although both married
men, has any son to inherit these good things.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

There is a monetary epidemic among the
retail hat dealers in Boston, six of them having
failed within ten days. This collapse, We are
informed, is to be attributed to the enormous
rents charged for shops in all desirable local.,
ties. The Saturday Gazette knows one retail
dealer on Washington st. whose rent amounts
TO forty dollars a day A man must have a
capital run OF custom, and wealthy set of Gus
toners, who can stand that.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

1t is Mt easy to determine whether the Gus
tom Of treating, very much in vogue at this
holiday time, originated in selfshness or good
fellowship. 1t is clear, however, that it is the
life and soul of barroom drinking, and the
fruitful parent of numberless excesses. Thrift
lessness is nomadic, for the amount of money
is limited which man can squandel upon his
own strictly personal qualification. AS there
are thousands of persons in this city who never,
in all their lives, kept sober Christmas or
New Year, we wish that fair proportion of
them would try the novel experiment This
ought to be the family festival; and Why not
give the wives and daughters, just for once, a
chance of enjoying it without any drawback
1t is mt exactly promotive of merriment to
have her husband and father come home
drunk though he may be running over with
good wishes which he is unable to articulate
A good deal of the old Pagan saturnalia ha:
come down to US with the excellent anniver
sary, but we do not know any doctrine o.
Christianity which requires a man to make
beast of himself.-N Y. Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A KNOWING MIsER.-A gentleman called
on rich miser, and found him at the table en-
deavoring to catch fly. Presently he succeed
ed in eutrapping one, which he Immediately
put into the sugar bowl, and shut down the
cover. The gentleman asked for an explaa,,
nation of this singular sport IL tell you,
replied the mser, a triumphant grin over
spreading his countenance as he spoke. "
want to ascertain whether the servants steaI
the sugar"
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

One of the twelve Counsellors of Brigham
Young is in Washington attempting to. obtain
terms for the Mormons He seems to be lock-
ing for a proposition from Congress for a
compromise admitting Utah as State on con-
dition that polygamy is abolished.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

In New York, ladies', when on promenade,
wear belt OF leather around the waist, to
which is fastened a clasp which holds an um-
brella of brown, purple or blue silk on one side,
so that lady may carry an umbrella without
being obliged to take her hands out OF her
muf
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

1t is said that hay can be made fire proof by
shrinking a layer Of salt between each layer of
hay. This process is recommended as serving
the double purpose of d preventive against fire
and rendering the hay more conducive to the
health of cattle and more Agreeable to their
palates
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

SPEECHES. Irishmea we're one day
engaged in roofing house, when one of them
lost hold, and fell to the ground. The other
fastened to him, and inquired, when he found
him lying PROSTATE and still:
Mickey, Mickey, are you dead?"
NO replied Mickey; not dead, but
sneechless %
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03
5000

Our major, says an old Mexican volunteer,
had very long feet, and also horse that threw
every one but the major. One evening the
majors servant was out on the parade ground
with the horse and, as usual, got thrown off.
when one of the boys spoke up and said Il
know why the horse don't throw the major II
"Why?' was asked by dozen or more.
"Weil, you see the majors got such long feet
that the horse thinks he S in shafts. Mobile
Register.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Some clever fellow has invented new kind
of ink, called '1ove-etter ink" 1t is sure
D eventive against all cases of 'hreach of
promis,," as the ink fades away and leaves the
sheet blank in about four weeks after being
written upon.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A lad, when asked by lady if be studied
hard at school, said, " 1 do not hurt myself at
it.
"Ah!" said the lady, "you must study
hard or you Il never be President of the United
States"
mo, ma am" cried the boy 'but don't
expect to be- I'm Democrat
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

It is a curious fact that the five "Commun-
lists" arrested in New York, Sunday, for taking
part in the attempted procession, We're none of
them Frenchmen. Two were Englishmen, two
Germans, and one native of the United
States.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Some one, advocating good dinners, said
that as "eating was pursuit to which many
years of existence are devoted. it is worth
while giving attention to it, so that one could
dine dclicately and well, and convert vulgar
necessity into one of the fine arts.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A girl of the period comments thus ON Nor
monism: How absurd four or FIVE wives to
one man. when the fact is each woman in these
times ought to have four or FIVE husbands. 1t
would take about that number to support me
decently"
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Mr.. Coleridge was once asked which of
Wordsworth's works he considered the pretti-
est, when he promptly replied +" His daughter
Dora "
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

Rumor states that Michigan Freshman
is so short that when he is sick he does not
know whether he has headache or corns.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A baker has invented new kind of yeast.
It makes bread so light that pound of it
weighs only twelve ounces.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

A shark caught off Charleston had pair
of boots, a scalp two cannon-balls and a
package of Sunday-school tickets in his
stomach
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

The cheapest wine you can drink-the wine
of other people.
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03
SIMMONS.

The symptoms of Liver Complaint
Iare uneaslness and pain in the side.
TMM0NS Sometimes the pain is in the shout
ider, and is mistaken for rheumatism
IFhe stomach IS affected with loss of
and sickness, bowels in gen.
cOstIve, sometimes alternating with lax The
ID is troubled with pain, and dull heavy sensation,
loss of memory. accompanied with pain.
sensation Of having left undone something which
yht to have been done. Often complaining Of
weakness, debility. and low spirits
Sometimes many of the above
HsympIoms attend the disease ,and at
LlV Lii other times very few of them ; but
the liver is generally the organ
mostinvolved. Cure the Liver with
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03

eral cOstlVe, som
head is troubled
considerable loss
ful sensation Of h
ought to have /
Smyrna times., 1872-01-03
By order OF the Court,
Attest: A.J.TAYLOR, CLERK.
Further Notice.

Jos. G. o. HARRINGTON, Auctioneer.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1872-07-05

Mn. O'NEALE II used Clark's last year,
and am much pleased with it. I put it on
some potatoes, leaving one row without any.
Where applied Clark's got good yield of
fine potatoes, but on the row where l used
none, got no potatoes. consider it a gen
une article, and shall use it again
Very respectfully, JOHN FEBREY.
Falls Church, Va.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1872-07-05
READ THE FOLLOWING

have tried Clark's Dissolved Bone on my
corn this year, and am much pleased with the
result also used higher priced article,
and find Clark's the superior fertilizer for
corn. W. II. REID.
Langley, Fairfax CO., Va, Aug. l, 1871.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1872-07-05

EINE quality Figured Grenadines l24 cts.
IL Black Ground do. striped in
blue, buff green, &c, 8 cts
Plaid japanese Poplin, 20 cts.
Plaid Poplins, Is cts
Fine quality Plaid Alpac in green, blue,
red and black, at 20 cents.
Plain Black Grenadines, rs cents
ALSO, an endless assortment of all the
fashionable Dress Goods, which we are sell
ling VERY CHEAP
CASSIMERES,
Kentucky Jeans, Cottonades.
LINEN GOODS,
From 20, %, 30, 81 40 to 30 cents.
CALICOES,
Great variety OF best Calicoes, 10, l25 cents.
BLEACHED and UNBLEAC HED COTTONS,
10 and III cents.
Good Ginghams, IL and Is cents.
Bed Ticking, l21 cents.
Plaid and Striped Domestics, l23 cents.
WHITE GOODS.
Victoria Lawns 25 cts, Pique, % cts
Ta:leton, in all coors, blue white, red,
pink and buff, 81 cents.
Swiss Muslin, l29 cts, Plaid Cambria, 124
Plain Nainsook, Table Linen, 373, so cts.
Towels l23 cts, Napkins, l2g cents.
Corsets, rs cents, Hoop Skirts, 80 cts
Stockings, l23 cts. Handkerchiefs, l24 cts.
Gloves, % cents.
NEW STYLE PARASOLS, very cheap.
SPRING SHAWLS, &c.
VERY GOOD STRAW MATING, 25 cts.
OIL CLOTH, &c. &c.
lss- The entire stock was bought al the
lowest cash price, and will be sold at small
advance above cost.
. D. L. w CARTER
No 100 Bridge Street, Georgetown.
may 31--tf
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1872-07-05

tried Clark's, beside several others, and
find it equal to any. 1t is good thing.
ALFRED LEIGH.
Fairfax CO., Va.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1872-07-05

several others, and think it the best I ever
tried on corn. | made some of the finest corn
ever saw with it last year. intend to use
it in future W. S. OLIVER.
Prospect Hill, Fairfax CO., Va sg. %, 1871
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-06-06
TERRORISM NJ PARTY

The deliberations of the conventions
which have been in session in this city for
the last few days disclose the fact that the
slavery Of party is still paramount, if not
controlling, in politics. Before its infu-
ence, expediency and even patriotism are
compelled to yield. Men can not, or will
not, throw off the habit of succumbing to
the dictates and following the leadership
Of those whom they have been accustomed
to recognize as the head of their party, I'M
less in rare instances and under the pres
sure of aroused public opinion.
To illustrate this truth, we need only
point to the actions of the Reform and
Democratic Conventions. There is scarcely
a member of either that does not perceive
the necessity of coalescing with the Lib
eral Republican party. They recognize
the justice Of its principles and sympathize
in its purposes and aims. Indeed, they
are trying to compass just what it has been
organized to do. United, the matter
would be of easy accomplishment, but if
each contends for it separately, it is Of
doubtful attainment.
When the main object of ali these par
ties is a reform in the State and national
governments-the restoration Of the rights
Of the States, and the freedom Of the citf-
zen, independent Of old political issues.
an impeachment strong enough to prevent
their coalition does not appear possible.
But nevertheless the fact exists. WHY Is
it so?
Tt can only be accounted for by the fear
Of the loss of party prestige. True, many
other reasons may be assigned, such as
distrust of individuals or parties, but that
we have named, is at the bottom Of the OBJ
jections 1t is, in fact, the true impede
ment to coalition. 1t only requires to be
named to show how fimsy and unreliable
it really is. But we think reflection will
overcome it. The assurance has been re-
peatedly made that to secure such a
coalition as will put the politics of the
State in harmony with the Liberal Repub-
hcan movement does not involve upon the |
part Of Democrats or their allies any
abandonment CT any partisan principle.
1t only requires that these shall be held
in allegiance for awhile, for the sake of
unity of action.
Each Of the three organizations named |
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-06-06
THE CONFERENCE COMMITTEES

The reports of the conference commit
tees appointed by the Democratic and Re
form conventions were received and dis
cussed yesterday in the respective con
ventions. The conference resulted in an
announcement that neither party is will
ing to relinquish it's separate organization;
that the difficulties in the way of joint
action by the two conventions in common
session are insuperable; that cooperation
must either be abandoned or must be re-
mitted to committees from the respective
conventions. For these reasons the Joint
labors of the conference committees re-
suited in the adoption of the following
resolution:
ResOJUed, That we recommend to the re-
specJive conventions to appoint committees
OF eleven members each, with power to de-
termine and fix basis of cooperation be-
tween the two parties, to agree upon com
mon ticket for State officers to be recon-
mended for the support of both conven-
tons, and to make such other recommends
tons as to the general policy of these
parties as to them may seem tit; it being
distinctly understood that the reports of
these committees shall be subject to the
final ratification and approval of the re-
spective conventions.
The discussion Of this resolution occu-
pied almost exclusively the time of both
conventions yesterday, the great point of
interest centering in the policy of extend
ing the invitation to combine in favor Of
reform in the civil service to all political
organizations in the State that are willing
to work for the common good Of the
people.
We regret to say there was considerable
opposition manifested to this proposition
in the Democratic Convention, resulting
from an old Democratic prejudice to Re
pubicans, and desire on the part of GER
tain leaders of the Democratic party to
reap all the credit of the reform movement
by merging Liberal Republicans snd Re
formers into the Democf Ratio fold The
report Of the conference committee was
received and adopted by the Democratic
Convention; but this is not to be regarded
as indicative that majority of the con-
vention is opposed to receiving the CO.
operation Of all parties that honestly desire
reform IN national and State politics. We
nave reason to believe there are large
number Of delegates in both conventions
VINO 1ayor coalition with the
present state administration, headed by |
Governor Warmoth, in the great worl, Of
reforming the Pohlcs of the country. |
And these gentlemen, we are satisfied |
have no wish to confne their work of re-
form to this State. They are willing and
anxious thatit shall extend to the govern