The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-20
A BaSlRfllE Lover

him Jackass, for short
Among many of his misfOrtuneS, Tor
he was cock-eyed, red-haired and
knock -knec6 he numbered that incon-
venient one of bashfulness. Neyerthe-
less he was fond of ladies, although when
in their presence he never opened his
mouth when he could help it, and when
he did, used both hands to help him !;
in fact, he was a man of great actions.
Jacobus, one warm day, fell in love ;
he had just graduated at college, and
began to think he must seek the ladies'
society he was getting to be man ;
and it was manly to have a open
chant
so Jack fell in love with the sweetest,
liveliest, most hOydenish girl in the
square but how to tell hislOve! There
was the rub. He had heard a good
deal Of language of the eyes," and he
accordingly tried that, but when he
looked particularly hard at the window
where Emily was i'll the habit OF sitting,
some person on the opposite side OF the
street would invariably bow to him,
thinking he was endeavOrlng to catch
their eyes. He has despised eyes ever
since then.
At length Jack obtained an introduce
ton through his sister, and with her
called several times, but she was OBJ
liged to leave the cit ty for a season, and
as each interval only increased his ar
dor he determined on going it alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit, he found
himself arrayed in his best. Blue coat,
metal buttons, black cashmere pants.
(said pants being a little tighter than
the skim, andaspOtless vest.
The journals of the day state, as an
| i4n,,, Of iu4n1Iinnnnn thot tho thpl.Innnn-
ter ranged from seventy-tive to eighty
degrees. Jack swears it was over a
hundred.
As the hour drew near Jack found
courage and perspiratiOn oOzing out to-
gether, and almost determined to pull
off and stay at home. He concluded
however, he would take a walk past the
house and see how it felt.
BY the time he reached the mansion
he firmly concluded not to go in, but on
casting his eyes toward the parlOr win
dow, and perceiying no signs, he
thought it possible that no one was al
far, he would proceed further and leave
his card.
No sooner determined than cOnclud-
ed. In reckless moment he pulled
the bell; the darned thing needn't make
such noise.
The door was opened as if by magic
and the servant girl politely asked him
in Miss Emily was alone in the parlor
and would be delighted to see him.
Oh, cracky here was a fix Go in &
dark parlOr with a pretty girl alone
: Itwas too late to retreat the girl had
, closed the front door and was pointing
to the parlOr where Miss Emily was.
Being perfectly convinced that nc
lor he walked or sided. All was per.
feet chaos to his eyes for moment
but only for a moment then from the
! deepest gloom came forth an ange
voice bidding him welcome and draw
near.n
To obey the order was but the work
of Il moment, as he supposed, but he lit.
tie dreamt of the obstacle fate haC
thrown in his way. He knew full vel
! that the stream of love had many rip
: pies, but full-grown snags entered moi
: into his head.
Judge then of his astonishment OF
being tripped up almost at the fair one'
] feet by a flat stool with plethoric legs
, which chance or a careless servant haC
] placed exactly on the road to happiness
Over he went, and the tailor had no
allowed for any extra tension of mus
! cles and sinews, he not only procured ;
, tumble, but also a compound fracture o
the black pants aforesaid-said fractur,
/ extending all across that point Whicl
: comes in close contact with the chair
! Having picked himself up as care
fully as circumstances would permit
the smothered laugh of Miss Emily ''no
setting. him forward any" he at lengtl
: succeeded III reaching a chair, ant
;. drawing his cOat-tails forward
4 to prevent a disagreeable expose, sa
! himself down with as much grace as
! bear would when requested to dane
y upon a pile of needles.
;. The young lady was almost suffOcateC
with laughter at the sad misfortune o
= the bashful lover, felt truly sorry fo
Y him, and used all her powers of fascina
ton to drive it from his mind, and event
= ually succeeded so far as to induce hin
to make a remark. But on this rock b,
!, split.
{ just at that moment she observe,
! that she had lost her pocket handl1er
! ! chief. What had become of ib7 Sh
!. was sure she had it when she came i'm
/ 1t certainly must be somewhere about
! ! " Haven't you got it under you, Nh
: Jac0bus ~
. Jack was sure he had net but poo
= jack, in Venturing an answer, COULD no
J. ~
7 hands OF course he must drop his coat
4 tail. In his anxiety to recover the mis-
Il Il sing wipe he even yentured to inclin
:. : his body so as to get a glance on th
! floor. As he did so, the fracture opened
= and behold there lay, as the lady SUP
;, $ posed, her missing property.
! Tt was the work of moment to cate
, the corner and exelaim
Here it is, sir, you needn't trouhl
yourself about it. just raise a little
it's under you,p at the same time giyin
e it a hard pull.
0 Alas, the tail was told no escape
II nothing short of special interpositio
Q of Providence could save hisshirt. Blu
5 what should he do ! Another and an
s other, stronger pull, eyincing on th
7 part of the lady a praiseworthy deter
j mination to obtain the lost dry goods
i coupled with the request:
q Get up, sir s; You are sitting on it,
/ determined him, and in the agony 9
. the moment, and grabbing with bot
II hands fast disappearing strip of line
a which encircled his neck, he exclaimed
n For G--'s sake, Miss Emily, IeGt
e me aag shirt collar ~
e The young lady fainted.
FASHIONABLE LIFE. Tf there is any en-
I vironment which can degrade huma
!, !, being or harden young heart, it is th
! ! atmosphere of merely fashionable lift
s You may take the tenderest and mos
s lovely girl, the one that is the lindest a
J home and loves her father and m0the
! ! best, and put her in the highest circle q
4 human life, with plenty of scOpeto do q
! J. she pleases let her dress herself as sh
3 3 viii cover herself with diamonds an
! pearls, add costly laces let the love G