Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1872-07-25
Odds and Ends.

\ man who works for living should
marry woman taller than himself.
The Iaborer is worthy of his hire
Apropos of mad dogs the Denver
News says: An ounce of dead dog i,
worth a pound OF mad man any time.
Tae mother Of an unmanageable Irish
bov. living in Portland, thus excused
him to the police: 'Shure, Pat isn't q
bad boy at all, but he Is trout led with
roosh of mind to the BRAIN
Al undertaken was passing a fruit
stand, and thinking no one saw him he
stepped mp and pltted = large cucum-
Der, SAYING: Good boy-go for EN-
steby-7eile eng ipe cm,'
y brief statement of Darwinism:
There was an ape in the day, that are earlier.
Centuries passed and hi hair became curIier
Centuries more gave thumb and wrist
Then he was a man and q Positivist
Dolly Warden ha, had a short and very
MAy" " Ine s9,sg[ ,5e. !" .,l 1Gys aiys news.
paper, will hereafter disfigure herself
BY wearing one of these now vuglar
costumes.
An Idaho invalid was ordered bv
physician To take three ounces of BRAN
dy day. and knowing that sixteen
drachms make an ounce, has patiently
been taking fortv-eight drinks a dav
ever since.
\ New Fairfield nan, who failed /.
@et q thlrty-ccnt pineapple for quar-
ter ol dollar, wanted to know .wheth-
er we are breathing the pure air of free.
dom or being -trangled with the fetd
breath OF hellish despotism'
BE YOU good?' asked bright little
chap Of Miss Bud, his SUNDAY School
teacher the other day. 'Oh! no. was
the becoming reply. You amt, Well,
knew YOU wasn't pretty, but always
thought YOU was good.
\ small boy arose at Sunday-school
concert and began quite gliby: "A GER
tam man went down into Jerusalem to
Jericho and tcll-and fell'-(herc his
memory began to fail him) 'and-and
tell by the roadside, and the thornS
sprang up and choked him
In New llamp the following j,
posted on II fence: 'Nottis-know koy
i aloud il these medders, eny men or
women lcttcn tharc kows run the rod,
wot gltS inter my medders atoreseed
shall have his tail cut orr by me, Obadi-
all Rogers
The Daubury News man saws: The
majority OF women care but little about
suffrage. II the backs to our car seats
could only be followed ont SO as to adj
nit OF their bustles tapping over, the
ballot might 60 to thunder for all they
care.
This l. the Kind of a Young man that
r'ads ESSAYS at the Louisville school eX-
mAltlOnS, and this is the way he does it,.
\ slight, graceful, bovish student, with
\ musical and almost girlish voice, sub
tended by the most winning aud effect
i've @esticulation. The result was that
he was almost tombed with flowers
a somewhat laughable ring has been
recently formed in California, where
this years grain crop is very large
hnoWi this fact, some willy gentle
men have by purchase bagged the en-
tire stock Of grain sacks, so that the
farmers are at their wits end to know
how 10 bestow their grain.
While Adam slept, God from him took
bone; and, ~ sE omen
He made II like seraph look,
And thus created women.
he TOOK inns Done not from his pate,
To show her power ample:
Nor from his feet, to designate
That he on her might trample;
But meath his arm, to clearly show
He always should protect her;
And near hi. heart, to let him know
How much he should respect her.
He took this bone, crooked enough
Most crooked of the human
To show him how much crooked stuff
He'd always find in woman
The 50. Louis Republican knows of
a poet who wishes to engage in the
| obituary business because he thinks he
can excel. Judging from his effort we
believe he is right. Here is a speci-
men of what he can do:
| Here lies the body Of Matthew Penn.
When did he die : Of what. can't telly
lie died on Wednesday of q wen:
Then ask no more; he wore it we'll
Here lies the corpse of Patience Doe,
| Who brought through life cancer;
| She always smiled-yet wished TO 90:
1t did no good to lance her
lately applied lor divorce, and the
judge intimated bis intention to decide
against her. The lady, alarmed, began
to shed tears, and her dignified coun-
sci, edgiug his chair close to hers, whis-
pcrrd. .sThats right, cry; crv like the
devil, and You'll get Your decree.''
A few iron nails placed in vase with
flowers will keep the water sweet and the
flowers fresh. This arises from the sui
phur eliminated from the plants combiniuG