The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-05-03
Our Ncixhbor's Metaphors.


neighbor Brown, III the last num-
Der of the Democrat, III weaving
his immense vocabulary Of descrip- !
tive words into metaphors. He
seems to luxuriate in them. They
drop from his pliable pen with as
much ease and smoothness as water
rolls from a ducks back. Some
might think he was eytravagant in
their use, but where the supply is
SO la;ge, it would be niggarlly to
restrain them. His paper of last
week is bloated with them. They
constitute the ribs, body and blood
of nearly every editorial, squib and
local. He porrays Judge Burnett
panoplaid in impervious armor.
Iii one place he has him armed with
a pondcrouS battle AK, in another
lie poises and pierces his enemies
with long lance. lie represents
him as engaged in numerous terrific
cnmbats, in all Of which he triumphs
most gloriouSly, leaving the battle
fields strewn with the dead bodies
Of his enemies. According to the
Dgmorat, Judge Burnett is worse
than a peSdlence in stocking the
grave yards Of tie state. These
metaphors, we think, are very good
and appropriate as applied to Bur
nett. They bring fresh to our mem
ory, from our boyhood reading, the
wonderful adventures OF lis distin-
guished prototype, Don QuiXotc
De La Mancha. Don has start
ed out upon his selt-imposed mission
of rectitying the wrongs ofmankind.
We see him in his rusty, patched
up armor; his helmet of tin; his
long, wooden lance, and rusty
sword. His legs hang dangling on
either side of tie wind-brokcn body
of his steed, Rosenante, and thus |
equipped, be wenls his way along |
the dusty roads of Spain in search
of adventure; not alone, however,
for behind him, seated upon his lit
tie jackass, with the provision bag,
follows the devoted Sanco Panza.
Drown can never be more faithful
to Burnett, than was Sanco to DOM I
Asthe valiant Quixote proceeds, the
most Insignificant tritles are magni-
fed into events of great impor-
tance; disasters are interpreted as
conquests; defeats as victories. In
his imagination castles are demol-
ished prince and princes are dis
enchanted genii are wiped out
hobgoblins are gobbled; the
wrongs of mankind are redressed,
aud the slain Of his mighty valor are
counted by the score-eyery trivial
circumstance and every defeat being
magnifed by his diseased brain into
these results, and the unsophistlcat-
ed Squire, Sanco, nincompoop and
pumpkin as he was, accepting the
DORIS version of them as correct.
Don Quixote Burnett, seems to pos
sess a like influence over our good
neighbor, Brown. At least one OF
Browns metaphoric productions of
last week would indicate as much.
Brown is no nincompoop or bump
kin, but the idiosyncratic mind of
Burnett, leading him, as did the
crazy brain of Quixote, to see in
every defeat victory, has had its
influence upon the credulity Of
Brown. He, like Sanco, is strong
in his implicit faith. One OF his
most graphic metaphors last week,
represents terrible hobgoblin or
genii, which is denominated Cock
eyed Corporal, engaged in most
deadly combat with Don Quixote
Burnett. The corporal slashes the
yielding air with gllttering scimi-
ter, or "clleese knife" until Quixote
Burnett becomes tired of the farce.
Then this renowned champion OF
Democracy's wrongs, single handed
and alone, never deigning to
"Marshal' a single democratic
Klan," with wrath upon his brow
as dark as midnight, "prodded his
lance" says Brown, straight into
Al. -. n