Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1872-03-07
Wit, HunlOr and Wisdom,

AAnTEANEoS 40 AuGcIAdA, uOL external.
The difference between a sick girl
and brickbat is the difference between
a missile and a miss i'll.
HOPE this hand is not counter
felt, said lover as he was toying with
his sweetheart's hand.
The best way to find out is to ring
it, was the reply.
SAID Mr. Cantwell to his clergyman.
who haG a great disrelish for hypoc.
risy;
How can best help to reform the
world?"
BY beginning with yourself!" was
the conclusive reply.
MADAME, I am glad to see you."
"Sir, 1 cannot say as much to you. i"
All, madame, You might, did YOU
but suffer poiteness to overcome We
racity."
A LITTLE boy, after watching the
burning of school-house until the
novelty Of the thing had ceased, started
down the street, saying:
I'm glad the old thing is burned
down / didn't have my jogfry lesson
no!ow!"
On a wet, miserable, foggv London
day in autumn, Charles Lamb was &C.
costed by beggar woman, with '.Pray,
sir, bestow a little charity on q poor
destitute woman who is perishing for a
lack of food. Believe me. sir, I have
seen better days." $50 have l." said
Lamb, handing the poor creature a
shilling, $50 have I It's miserable
day. Good-bye!"
One day little girl. about five years
old, heard a preacher praying most
Justify, till the roof rang with the
strength of his supplications. Turning
to her mother, and reckoning the ma
ternal ear to a speaking distance, she
whispered:
"Mother, don't you think if he was
nearer to God, he wouldn't have to talk
so loud2 2"
A MAN while driving q number of cat
tie to Boston, had one of his COWS enter
barn yard, where there stood young
lad. The driver calls to the boy:
Stop that COW, my lad-stop that
cow"
am no constable, SIR"
"Turn her out, then"
"S 81 IS ri GIT side out now, sir.''
We'll, speak to her, Them
The boy took off his cap, and very
handsomely addressed the COW, with
"Your humble servant, madame"
The drover rode into the yard and
drove the COW out himself.
A SYRIAN CONVENT to Christianity.
as the story goes, was urged by his e1n.
Pioyer to work on Sunday, but he de-
clined.
"But." said the master, "does not
your Bible say that if q man has an
OK or an ass that falls into pit on the
Sabbath day, he may pull him out2"
Yes, answered Haydn: 'tbut if the
ass has habit of falling into the same
pit every Sabbath day, then the man
should fill up the pit or sell that ass. -
The story has a sort of swivel
"moral," which will fit a great many
disputed points in these days.
PETER of Leghorn, learned man o,
the sixteen century, had wit in com.
mon with learned men, before and
since his time, yet he was very poor.
He was, nevertheless, always in good
humor and merry. Once, in Tuscany,
he wished to be ferried over a river
Unfortunately, he had no money, ano
he said to the ferryman:
my good friend, 1 have no none,
to give you for your trouble, but 20,
shall have instead a wholesome coun
SELL"
After some grumbling, the terryma,
consented to take him over, and whe1
they were on the other bank. demanded
his promised payment.
Friend," said Peter, laying hi.
hand gently on the mans shoulder
if you do with others as you have dom
with me, you will gain but little b,
your ferry-boat; SO be prudent"
And he went calmly on his way.