The Van Buren press., 1872-08-06
Twas None of His Fnneral

Town. lound hlmS III IN lnc Salht CaTTlage
with an elderly m N he had nc' er before
met The rode m grave sile ce Tor a
moments. wnen The clergyman cnieavor
ed to improve the occasion by serious
conversation.
This is solemn duty in which we
are engaged, my friend. y he said
Hey? What do you say siri the old
man returned Cant you speak loud
cr? I'm hard Of hearn'.
II was remarkng, shouted the cler
gvman, "that his is a solemn road We
sre travelling to day
Sandy road, You don't call this
ere sandy, oye? Guess You amt been
down to the south dceStrict There ) a
stretch of road on the old pike that beats
all ever seen for travelin Only a week
before Deacon Jones was tuck sick |
met him drivin' his OK team along there
and the sand was pretty nigh up TO the
hubs Of the wheels The deacon used to
get dreadful riled bout that piece ofroad,
and East Town does go ahead Of all ere
alton for sand
The young clergyman looked blank at
but quickly recovering himself, and rails
ing his voice to the highest pitch he re-
sumed the conversation
"Our friend here has done with all the
d sc ,mforts Of earth, he said solcmnly
"a small spot of ground will soon GOV
er his senselcss clay"
"Did YOU say clay sir ? cried the ol J
man, eagerly. "'Taint nigh so eopd rs
to cover sand with n meducr loan. SEE
l TO Mr. Brewer. last tewn.mce'in' day,
If you'd cart on II few dozen loads--and
there's acres of it on the river bank, SCI
I, you'd make as purity piece OF road
as there is in llar ford county But We
ere slow folks in East Town, sir
1t was perhaps, fortunate for the cler-
gyman at that moment that the smell Of
new made bay from neighborng field
suggested fresh train Of thought
Look !" said he. with graceful wave
Of the hand, "what an emblem of the
brevity of human life As the grass of
the field so man ilourishcth, and to NOR
row he is eyndaYqn,s
week" s.af Saf4lHNis lHis BIZ 1tisampanion "' Vs. "Yo"
musn't cut grass too 'arly, and then,
again YOU mist not cut it too late
my friend, shreked the clergyman,
in a last desperate attempt to make him
self understood, This is no Place ter
vain conversation. We are approaching
the narrow house for all the living.
They were entering the graveyard, hut
the old man stretched his neck from tic
carriage window in the opposite dlrcc"
ton :" Do YOU mean Squire Huhhard :
over Wonder? 'Tis rather narrer They
Build all them new tangled houses that
way now. TO nv mind they amt nigh
so handsome nor SO handy IA the old
fashioned square ones with n broad en-
try runnin clear through to the back
door Well this is the gettin' ont place.
sin't it? Much obleeched to you for
your enteltanin' remarks.
RoLL CALI IN HEAVEN An incident
is related by chaplain who was in the
army du u & me of our hard fought bat
ties. The hospital tents were filing up
fast, the woun ei men having been
brought to tic reIr Among the NOR.
tally wounded wss young man appar-
emily not able TO sYeak. 1t was near
midnight, the sur cons had gone their
round OF duty auAall was Quiet Sudden.
ly this Young soldier. before speechle.s,
calls in clear distinct voice, "Herc"
The surgeons hastcned to his side and
asked what he wished. Nothing. said
lie, "they are calling the roll in heaven.
and ! was answering to my name - lie
turned his head and was gone-gone to
Join the great army whose uniform was
washed in the blood Of the Lamb,
ET" Now, johnny" said vonera
bio lady to her six year old nephew, who
was persisten,ly denving an offence of
which she accused him, Il know that,
you are rot telling me the truth | see
il in your eye Pulling down the low
er lid Of the organ that had so nearly be.
trayed his veracitv. Johnny exu'tnc re-
pied: lyon cant tell ANYTHING ahout
it, aunt; that eye always was little
streuked!'
ET An old gentleman r,mo srated
with his married son. VITO id nni live
on good terms with his wito. on the i'm.
prol riety Of their contentious. ce. in
the eye ot human and dh,ia, lw thy
were cne. II don't know how tHAt NAV
be, replied the young man, = hut I'm
certain that IL you passed our door when
We we're quarrelling, you'd think we we're
twenty"
~ To remove proud flesh, pulvcrize
loafsugar very fine, and apply il to the
part affected This is new and easy
remedy, and 10 said to remove it entirely
without pain 1t has been praeticed in
Englan,l for many years
EE Chicago has woman sexton
She does her duties well. but Of course
she cannot altogether escape complaint
1t 10 not charged that she has too many
relatives or ANYTHING Of that kind; hut
they do sav that she reserves all the hes,
graves for the young men.
81 When a yonng lady offers to hem
. cambric handkerchief fora rich hache
lor she means to sew in order thet she
may reap.
EI Why is 4 drni kard, hesi,a,ing tc
take the pledge, like q half converted
HindooS Because he is in doubt wheth
er 70 give up the jug or not (Juager
naut.
V Par az ~hot you owe.