The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-11-11
AsanagiuE Serrow--Hew tire obit"arS
poes Chccrcd Afflicted Families.

served the disposition Of persons VINO nave
been bcreaved of their relatives 10 give ex-
preston 10 their feelings In poetical form,
reflected that 1t might perhaps be good
thing TO introduce to his paper department
of obituary poetry. He considered whether
If. when an individual inserted fifty cents
: worth of death.notice, the establishment
should contribute gratuitously hai-a-doilars
worth Of mortality stanZas, bis paper would
not at once become the most popular vehicle
for the conveyance of that peculiar form OF
melancholy intelligence to the public. Ana
Mr.. Brimnaer rightly estimated that as most
newspaper readers seem to take a deeper III
terest in such scpuichral news than IN mior-
nation Of any other kind the journal con-
tanning the largest SUPPLY would nave inc
greatest number of subscribers.
So Mr.. Brimmcr determined that he would,
as an experiment at any rate, engage an
obituary poet for short time, with the pur-
pose to give him permanent employment l!
The plan seemed to take with the pahlc.
Accordingly, he sent for Mr.. Remington on,
q constructor Of verses, who had frequently
contributed to the columns Of the Morning
Glo,.y poems of what would have been con
sidered by a fastidious student of Enslis'
literature an appalling and revolutionary
character.
Mr.. Brimmer soon effected an arrangement
with the bard .s which it was agreed tIi''
Mr.. OFT should take n position In the Once
for short time, and whenever death-hotice
arrived he should Immediately cndeaFor 10
grind out some verses eXIrcssl'eoi the S'ua'
ton.
pr;mmer. "tbat when the death Of m indi-
yidual is announced | want you, us II were,
to cheer the afflicted family with the re-
sources Of your noble art. / wish you 10
throw yourself, YOU may say, into the sltua-
ton, and to give them verse or TWO aoout
the corpse which will seem to be the eX-
preston of the emotion Of the hearts OF INC
living"
"ro tighten the gloom, in certain sense
suppose?" said Mr.. OFT.
"Preciselyi Tighten the gloom. DO not
mourn over the departed, but rather take a
ioyo,,s view Of death, which, after oil, MI.
OFT, is, RS it were. but the entrance 10 ect-
ter life. Therefore, would advise you to
touch the heart-Strings Of the afflicted Win
a tender hand. and endcavor, for Instance, TO
divert their minds from contemplation Oh the
horrors of the tomb"
"Refrain from dependency, / suppose,
and lift their thoughts TO-"
"Just so! And at the same time combine
elcvating sentiment with such practical III
formation IS you can obtain from the aoVeF-
tisement. Throw a glamour OF poesy, Tor
instance, over the commonplace dctalis OF
the everyday life Of the deceased. fcoPie
are fond of minute description. some lacts
useful for this purpose muy be obtained from
the man who brings the notice TO the ONCE
others you may readily supply Hoih 2ou'
imagination" ~
"rlI throw off stanzas," said Mr.. Ott,
"in such a manner that people Will want
their friends to die for the sake OF the poe
try." ;;..
- But, above ALL" continued the editor,
"takc bright view Of the matter always.
Make the sunshine of smiles burst through
the tempest OF tears; and il we don't MAKE
the Morning Glory hum around among Inc
mourpcrS of this town my Eahic Is not
Brimmer.'
Hewas right. 1t did hum.
The next Lay Remington OF went on duty,
spd Brjmmer ran down to the scaShorc tor Il
breath Of fresh air. All through the Day
death-notices came pouring in, and Wlcn one
would reach OFT he would seize it ana study
il up to ascertain particulars. linen hc"oliia
rush up stairs, lock himself in his room, TAKE
down hisrhyming dictionary, run lils lInScfs
through his hair, aud hack away nan an Eoar
ut piece Of paper until he conslaered tha;
he had the poetry In shape when Wouid
make the stricken family feel proud OF lhe
CORPSE. When his days work was don" OH
went home with conviction tint the Morn
i'm Glo,y had finally robbed death of its ter
rors and made life comparatively yalucless.
IN the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded calmly
20 the office for the purpose of cmbalmlng
in svnpathctic verses the memories OF the
dcmnrted ones. AS lie came near to The
establishment he observed 4 crowd OF i've or
six thousand people in front of it, struS'
CLING to get into the door. Climbing a tree,
he overlooked the crowd, and could see
within the office the clerks selling papers as
fast as they could handle them, While the
mob pushed, and jammcd, and yelled, III
frantic efforts to obtain copies-thc presses
In the cellar mean while changing away like
mad. Upon the curbstone in front OF him
there was line stretching down the street
for four squares, each man engaged in read
Ing the Morning Glory With an carncstncss
that Mr.. OIL bad never before seen displayed
by the patrons of that sheet. The bard con-
cluded either that his poetry had touched
sympathetic chord i'll the popular heart, OF
that an appalling disaster had occurred III
some quarter. Of the globe.
He went around to the back Of the Office
approached the sauctum loud voices were
heard within. Mr.. OFT determined to aSccr.
tain the cause before entering. He obtained
chair, and placing 1t by the side door he
mounted, and peeped over the door through
the tranSom. There sat J. Alfred Brimmcr,
holding the Morning Glory in both hands,
while the fringe which grew in semicircle
around the edge Of his bald head stood
straight out, until he seemed to resemble Il
gigantic gun.swab. Two or three other per-
sons stood III front Of him in threatening
attitudes. OFT heard one Of them say:
"My name is McGlue, sir-William Nc
Glue! ] AIN brother of the late Alexander
McGlue. picked up your paper this MORT
ing and perceived an outrageous insult to my
deceased relative, and have come around tc
demand, sir, what you mean by the follow.
Ing infamous language:
".The dsath-angel smote Alexander McGlue,
And gave Hun protracted repose;
He wore checked shirt and Number MINI
shoe,
And he lind pink wart on his nose.
No doubt lie is happier dwelling IN space
over there on the evergreen shore;
His lends are ini, rmcd that his funeral take
place
Precisely at qusrter-past four
"This is simply di;,bolcal! My late brother
had no wart upon his nose, sir. He had upo,
his nose neither n pink wart, nor Il greer
wart, nor q crean-colored wart, nor war
Of any other color. 1t is SANDER. Ii is :;
giatutous insult to my family, and l dis
tinctly want YOU to say what you mean By
such conduct"
"Rcally, sir" said Brin,mer, "it is IL mis-.
tase. This is the horrible work OF an incen-
diary miscreant whom trusted asa brother.
he shall he punished by my own hand for