The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-07-18
Poking Fun at a Railroad.

Mr.. Derrick Dodd writes as follows to the
Washington CAPITAL about the branch railroad
between Baltimore and the Capital:
But about this railroad. Of course l want it
abolished, as every one does. The reckless We
locity with which the trains are run between
here and Baltimore is absolutely frightful. 1
was delighted years ago when this road was
established, because thought we had got rid
of the old rickety and dangerously fast stage
coaches, but the speed they are beginning to
run the trains at now on this road is worse yet
Now. every one knows that Baltimore is forty
miles from Washington if it is au inch, and
three days and half is plenty quick enough
for the trip, but the managers have already re-
duced the schedule time to three days and four
hours, and what with making the engine tres
too hot, and racing with COWS along the road,
and all that, the conductors are even cutting
that time down.
Why, it was only the other day on the down
trip we happened to spy Sims old mule about
two miles out of town. What should the reck.
less wretch of an engineer do but clap Oh full
steam and race every foot of the way into the
district? We didn't exactly pass the mule,
but we caught up with him twice, and came
into the depot neck and neck--and which was
putting the most, the mule or the engine, you
couldn't have told to save your life. Now, it
was all very exciting, and all that, | know, but
hadn't purchased an accident ticket, and
don't believe the other four passengers had,
either. This is all wrong, MIR. Editor, all
wrong.
And then on another occasion, remember,
we came within hairs breadth of having a
very serious accident. The engineer had got
ten off to SNOWFALL chipmunk, and the con-
ductor was minding young widows baby for
her-the result was that the train happened to
get on down grade and we started off at a
terrific rate, every bit of four miles an hour, L
should think. We were just half mile above
the Annapolis junction, and the first thing we
knew, there being no one to whistle and wake
up the switch-tender, we were turned OFT into
the Annapolis road and went down the wrong
track at full speed. Imagine our CONSERVATION
when just at this moment we heard the whistle,
not half q mile ahead of us, of the Annapolis
up train. We were paralyzed with terror.
Here were two trains on the same track ap-
preaching each other at the dizzy speed just
mentioned. Evidently our time had come |!
In a few short hoursathe engines would meet,
and then-destruction With great presence
of mind, minister on board organized pray
er-meeting. Pale but calm the doomed band
of passengers sat, and though with the very
shadow of death upon them, raised their voices
in parting hymn.
''send for the baggage-master," said young
man with sad smile.
"Whyw was asked.
because we are all about to pass in our
checks"
Everybody wept From the rear platform
we could see the miserable engineer straining
eyery nerve to catch up, but he had tight boots
on and didn't gain anything to speak Of,
at this moment a ray of hope dawned upon
us. had just finished writing my will on the
back of visiting card when observed young
lady in the act of detaching her hustle. Plac-
ing the article-which was composed of 900
newspapers and q hair mattress-under her
arm, the heroine march through the car. We
followed her anxiously.
She climbed upon the tender and then over
the engine. 1t was very interesting and thrill
ing to see her climbing over the wheels and
brass things on the way to the cowcatcher. 1t
reminded me of country girl getting over a
wire fence. But never mind about that now.
Let me see where I was. Oh {! yes-on the
cow-catcher Holding on by the cross bars
with one hand, the noble maiden tied the bus
tie on the sharp PROV with the other.
You can guess the result. In the course OF
the afternoon the collision came unprotected
by the hustle, the engine received gentle
bump, and we were saved
took up collection for the woman on the
SPOT 1 always take up collections on such oc-
casions always. And what's more, l never
forget to give the object interested something
nice out of it, never There is nothing mean
about ME. suppose you have noticed my
clothes?