The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-11-23
PEPPER AND SALT.

The Fat Contributor, at Cards, Is engaged In
manufacturing solicited "gin cocktails" and |
bricks Of milk punch of convenient size to be |
worn in the hat. That's why 30 many men |
around town still continue to wear "lofty plug |
hats" the larger the hat, the bigger the o'i'k
that the hat will surround. These bricks were |
not taken cut of klns, yet ktAS often result from
such brcks....A few days ago haif-grown
Newfoundland dog came to a certain store On |
Main street. and having loat its master, tried to
scrape Acquaintance with one Of the proprie,ors.
The dog, striving 10 DO funny with the man,
growled, and showed his teeth and made other
playful demon STATIONS towards the merchant,
who resented these little manifestations. The
merchant wasn't afraid Of the dog,-ob, no =
but acted very discreetly towards him. The dog
was not, apparently, much in "dhread" of the
merchant The merchant called small boy and
said: "Say. hub, put out that dog" Boy obeyed
by opening the door, when the dog chased the
boy out, the boy running away from the fero-
cious beast to the best OF hs ability. The mer.
chant went to the door TO see whether the dog
had not eaten up the boy. The dog saw the
merchant and barked defiance at him. The ex-
asperated merchant drew revolver and fred at
the dog, to which the dog returned contempt.
uous bark. The merchant shot again, and this
time the dog changed his tune to a howl and ran
away. That dogs tail is now shortened just
half 81 inch The merchants evaporation be-
came lively when he went home and found that
he had been practicing with his revolver upon
his own dogs tail for a target; but if you accuse
him OF it, be will pronounce il another OF Bee.
mus damiokes," bu: still hi og goes around
with the remainder OF his Ia done up in rag.
I'VE know 4 certain Yankee in town who can
talk little German. We amused at him
the other day, when, while in conversation with
Deutschsr he tried TO ltltgh German His
usual Yankee laugh is lively tefheehee hee in
high tone. In this Instance he broke out in q
heavy tass, 'Haw, hew, haw, and then dropped
into sub bass and broke down in a violent fit of
coughing We advise him that when he wishes
to laugh to "Iet nature take its course" and
laugh "nachurar-. There is a hand-bill around
town, a prominent line of which reads: "Liber.
al Inducements !" We hadn't the heart to read
it, Anything that has the word H5sral in it
makes US sad-it reminds u too much Of the late
election :. Fred Wilson, whilom singer 81
LIQUID hiHarity az Nike, is now at John DOLL:
fluid store at Streator, where ne dishes up chain
lightning and lager to the thirsty ....J John
Loma-sey, of Hard Scrabble, was in town last
week looking hale and hearty. He meekly per
ambula,es behind $500 gold watch aud dit,
chain from Trasks Ottawa iewelry establish
men, =. Dogs that enjoy the freedom of TIT
city are probably ignorant that there is cit,
ordinance prohibiting their owners from run
ming at large rith0ut nlnzzle on. This is
melancholy fact We have an amazing stat
law on the subject Of bridges. 1t reads; IAN
person who shall be guilt! OF driving a.
bridge in this state shall be fned FIVE dollars.
This law was made to compel people to ford tb
streams We can aF.f9rd no other opinion tina
that it leaves she right to travel unabridged
Some days ago Bent y. and George P,
couple Of famous duck shooters, made fora
upon the web-iooied birds on Flshburn. islanS
On arriving at the bunting place, they were d,
lighted on observing large fo:k of fine greer
heads" q quarter OF a mile up stream. The
crawlsd cautiously on their hands and knee
through brush and briers, mud and grass, an
slush and snow until within good range, whel
at preconcerted signal, each aimed and fire
both barrels Of lis gun into the unsuspectiu
fock. Fourteen ducks spirits were sent to due
heaven, and IA dead ducks quivered for m
laent on the bosom of the limpd waters al
then all w-3 sll,, with them. The remainder
the feclc gnactal ig concert in establishment
thu .p1 -ra-ss O. these proceedings and tn,
uuirl; e.. u' their business OF watching
H,la r... 7-, water. -ub-, &C., in the botto
Of tho shallow s.r,2u 'Good-!imina--Jerusl
--.Au-s-l--asra,' calculated the hunters,
q thsm ducks ANT .ame oues!" SO they wei
IA THO eoye f.5ol out their ducks, and stood
"A .reloAls,. misery, When the owner Of the de-
Il owls cls1e up. Tno boys trembled. He e
PaAs "a: "Uo, no. been KILN my ducks, oh
~ t,"s-i3 Beat, very humbly "you see tn
looked l.c wild ones; its mistake; We'll p
l.e EN- .ts a dSmpretty mess. Give you So.
if you won't let the boys up town know abo
it," NJ T, is . clever man and enjoys a jol
nent and said: "Well, boy', . all right;
ask is tho market price" II were glad
get off that way. They took ,ao ducks hon
On the way they found a rara a. ; ia the locs
ty,-an arctic goose,-which y killed o
brought to town, and presented TO Mr.. Geo.
n. Cushmsn, who will have it treated by Ia
derrnist The bird is OF beautiful white p