The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-10-11
sCIssoRINGs.

The 'bump of desttustiveness"
A railroad collision.
The boy that MIXED dry cow has
gone to peddling pumps.
Music is the food of love-beaf
and mutton that of matrimony.
''Do right and fear not" is what
the girls say to their correspondents.
If man doesn't take care of No l
he viii soon have 0 to take care of.
You're queer chicken" as the
hen said when she hatched out q
duck.
When is beau's arm like the gos-
pei? When it maketh glad the waist
places.
The individual who got off a good
thing has been endeyoring to get it
on again.
A secret has been defined as "any-
thing made known to everybody in a
whisper"
There are six ordained women
pastors in the Universalist Church in
the United States.
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
If that is so, cake of good soap is
then n poor sermon.
Early rising was once an indicat-
ion of thrift, but now it indicates
that man is thirsty.
Which can travel the faster-heat
or cold? Why, heat, you Ounce !
Anybody can catch cold.
Mrs. Alice Carter of Nashville,
aged Is years, has petitioned for
divorce from samuel Carter. s.,
A negro woman living near Bratt-
leboro, n. c., has had seven pairs of
twins, and is not over 80 years of age.
Who was the straightest man
mentioned in the Bible? Joseph
Because Pharoah made a ruler of
him.
The smokers who ride in cars set
apart for them on the Eighth-avenue
Railroad, New York, complain of the
intrusion of ladies.
Mrs. Partington says that since
the invention of the needle-gun there
IS no reason why women shoulden't
fight as well as men.
Billings says: "There amt any
thing that will kompletely kure
lazyness, but I have known a second
wife to hurry it sum-
A Wisconsin minister awoke his
slumbering charge by vehemently
saying, deacon T., wake up; the
best of the sermon is to come"
IF you will look into the Grant
organs you will find that all "our
colored fellow-citizens" are for Grant,
and all the ''niggers" for Greeley.
The princess Salm Salm, whose
name is familiar in this country, has
become Catholic, and has entered a
ConYent at Innspruck, in the Tyrol.
A Massachusetts, woman warns all
young girls, through the columns of
her village paper, to avoid tausting
her husbands, ''as he has proved
himself dangerous man.
The young wife of r. B. Perry, a
prominent and much-respected young
merchant of Boon Hill, n. G.. COM
mitted suicide last week. None of
her friends can account for it.
Miss Lille Hammond of Williams
ton (AIich. was aecidently shot while
on visit to her uncle in Franklin,
recently. Her cousin, a boy of
twelve, took up rife, supposing it
was not loaded, pointed it at the
young lady and pulled the trigger,
The ball entering her neck and fatally
wounding her.
Mrs. Pamela Lampheer of Casco
(AIich. was shot recently and fatally
wounded by her daughter. Knowing
that her mother was very afraid OF
q gun, the young lady was in the
habit OF pointing it at her in play.
She was doing SO ON this occasion,
supposing the gun was unloaded,
when it was discharged with fatal
effect.
Two Mexican ladies of rank, at q
ball, lately, atSanta Cauz, quarrelled
about gentleman who loved each,
We assume, about equal. A chall-
enge followed, and there was a fight
with swords, the end of which was
the disabling of the sword-arm oi
one of the combatants. The wound
ed lady, nothing daunted, drew q
pistol and dared the other to come
on. The parties were placed and
the word given, and the unfortunate
one of the previous affray received
ball in her left arm and was carried
from the field. Two hours after.
wards the victor was married to the
object Of her affections.
4 Worcester lady has a strange
adventure the other day, the like Of
which probably does not happen
once in century. She was travel
ing in the cars from Worcester te
Boston, and, the car being crowded
occupied seat with gentlemanly.
looking stranger. Throughout the
journey she was annoyed by The
oficious politeness of the man; anG
at his departure, which she hurried
by her evident suspicion, she found
that he had taken he portmonnaic
In her search for the missing article
she, however, discovered that, Will,
performing his theft, he had slipped
diamond, leaving it attached to th,
lining of her dress. jewelers. il
Boston offer $3.50 for the ring, ant
the lady is just ten times richer iron
her adventure.