Wilmington journal., 1872-08-02
HIGGINS And THE WIDOW.

On SUNDAY higgins Ca10e lnLO my Once
and sat down without a word. For some
minutes he sat still, watching me intently
as if he was trying to make out by the
sound Of my pen what was writing.
esquire" lie said at length, "did ever
tell you about my scrape with the widow
Horny, up here OH the river?"
"Never did," said 1, laying down my
pen; "'let's hear it,
| 'sThey're curious creatures, widows is"
said he in meditatiVe tone, "and the
more you don't know anything about 'em.
What was this thing I've read about in
Egypt, or some other country, that nobody
| could unriddle ?"
"The Sphynx, probably" I replied.
"Wen," he continued, ttthat " as a widow
as sure as you ever had granny. Every
thing else on the earth has been found
out but them, and they're as much a mys-
terry to-day as the length Of the North
Pole"
"You may read the history Of the world,
from Genesis to Revelations, and you'll find
that widows has been at the bottom or
top of five-quarters of the devilment that's
been cut up. Was you ever in love with
One?"
"Lots Of them," said I.
"You're a great gander-that's what
and gets over it won't never get bit by
another, if he's got as much sense as a
ground hog. / don't consider that I've got
any sense at all, but Pm little grain too
smart to let another Of them get all the
| trumps on me.
The widow Horny that l was speaking
| Of, is n little of the handsomest woman, |
reckon, that ever looked maa into fits,
and l ought TO be judge, for I've seen
lots Of pretty women in my day. She was
about twenty-five years old when l went
| up there to work, just in the bloom Of her
beauty, and as full Of deviltry as a three
year old mule colt. There was a ball over
at Jenkins and Of course l went, for l
always go where there is any fun going OH,
aud generally act the foel before l get
away, OF course.
s'The widow was there, dressed as fine
as SOlOmOn's lilies, and flying around as
frisky as a young lamb in rye patch" l
got introduced to her and asked her to
dance with me, and when she flashed her
eyes at me and said '"yes," l jumped up
like | had set down on hot griddle. You
may talk about sensation, but when she
took hold of my hand and sorter squeezed
it, l felt sensation as big as a load Of
wood, and it kept running up and down
my back like a squirrel with hawk after
him. Pm very fond Of dancing, but I'll be
hanged if | know whether enjoyed it that
night or not, for every time she took hold
of my hand I'd commence feeling curious
behind my ears and up and down my back
again, and then l wouldn't know whether
| was on earth or III balloon, or on
comet, or anything about it. 1t was un-
douDtedly a case Of love at first sight, and
| Il powerful bad case at that. For a wonder
l got through the frolIc without making
myself conspicuous or cutting up any eX-
tras, as l ain in habit Of doing when gO
into public. I'd set my pegs to go home
with the widow after the ball, but just as
was fixing my mouth to ask her, up steps
big, long, leather-faced doctor, named
Mabry, and walked her right otE before my
eyes. That riled me little, but kept
my tongue still, inwardly swearing to break
his bones the very first opportunity that
, presented itself. l saw there was no use
i'll saying anything, so l went home and
went 10 bed, and all the rest Of the night |
was dreaming about rainbOWs, angels, but
terfles, fiddles, widows and doctors, mixed
up worse than Dutchman's dinner.
, Well, Squire, to make a short story Of
it, / made up my mind to have the widow,
or kill myself, or somebody else.
" SO made it convenient to be on hand
where she was, upon all occasions. l could
, not eat nor sleep nor work, and if the
thing had held on, wouldn't had sense
enough to skin a rabit. But l was deter
mined it shouldn't last long, for I'd been
fooled so often by women that thought |
wouldn't give her time to think OF anything
but me. She appeared to take to me right
sharply, and the doctor seemed inclined to
7 mix III with me, but / din't consider him
gone thought she could see nobody on
. earth but me. Wen, Squire, things went
on for about a month, and one Sunday
| screwed up my spunk and put the ques-
tion to her. She sorter laughed and sOrtcr
, looked one-sided, and finally told me she
couldn't give me an answer just then, but
if I'd call at her house the next Thursday
evening, she'd give me q final answer
Thinks you are mine just as sure as
there's fiddler below. Whenever a WO-
man takes time to study she'll say yes
Squire, don't the poet say something about
, the calculation of men and rats going
crooked p"
! Mice and men, burns saya," | ana
, swered.
"Well, mice and rats is all one, and so is
men and fools sometimes, as have found
out in my travels. | was so sure she would
, have me went off and spent all my mon
: ey for fine clothes, thinking l would have
them ready for the wedding-and I did :.
Confound that widow, l say! Confound
;; all the widows! In time Thursday even-
4 ing came, though it was long time about
it, and ever went, and feeling as big as
Josh RaYnor did when ho was elected cor
L
right smart crowd collected, which was not
on the bills, but felt as big and as good
as the rest of 'em. So | marched in like a
blind mule into a potato patch, and took a
: seat by the fire. ! didn't see anything of
OF the widow, hut l kept looking for he. to
! come in or send for me, and passed away
: the time by cussin' the crowd to myself,
thinking they had no business there, and
would not get to talk to my woman bit.
Presently the door opened and in walked
Polly and that long-legged Doctor, and a
.. whole team of boys and girls fixed up saw
aeely, tell you. looked round for a
fiddler, thought they were going to have a
, ball, but wondered what they all kept so
still for, and was about proposing a real,
when up gifts little preacher, and before
\ you could swallow live oyster, he had
Polly and the Doctor married faster than a
Mexican greaSer could tie a bulls horns.
was SO completely flunlGuxed that l set
there with my mouth open like l was
going to swallow the whole crowd, and my
eyes looked like billiard balls until the
, ceremony was over, when up I jumped
, and beloved
| forbid the concern from being cOnSti-
tuled."
, ''You are little too late, my friend" p"
said the preacher, and they all commenced
laughing like they seen something funny.
, ''Iu be squizzled if l don't be soon
, enough for anybody yet," says l, ''for
was mad, Squire, and no mistake in the
ticket. l do believe l could have eat that
doctor quicker than a hungry dog could
swallow squirrel skin, if l could lave had
a chance at him. 1t was too bad, after
baN 6ya6 nm To marry I0r ClvSaf for her