The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-08-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
Oae Missouri editor says of another that "his
ears would do for awnings to ten-story whole
sale hog-packing establishment"
An Irish paper publishes the following:
A deaf man named Taft was run down and
killed by passenger train on Wednesday morn
ing. He was injured in similar way about q
year ago.
The Boston Sunday Courier says:
A thrifty citizen who effected insurance on the
life of his wife to the amount of $4,000, the
other day took home box of little red Nary.
land plums and enjoyed whole evening in
watching his wife eat them. His enterprise had
its reward. Deducting S2SS for funeral expen.
ses, he is now $9,712 richer than he was q
week ago.
We have made arrangements by which we are
enabled to pay fifty cents piece for every finger
torn off by pistol this week. The finger must
be shown at this Office, accompanied by a certifi.
cate OF genuineness from some responsible party
We pay two dollars for three fingers blown from
one hand. They must be fresh fneers-none of
last years trophies. Now is the time to get up
elubs.-DOndury Meas.
This sad reflection is from the Naples N. "
ecord:
The way Of the world-to turn our old cannon
out to grass on the common, and have brass,
young cannon hil its place in the hearts Of the
people.
Here is gentle hint in the way of edibles:
Tie picnic was we'll attended, and one of the
best Of good things was enjoyed. A basket of
goodies set aside for ''ye editor but-but-
we'll, it may come yet.
There seems to be some reason for talking
shout the bad habits OF editors A Boston paper
Gays. for instance:
VIM. J. Stetson, of Chesterfield. dropped dead
Monday morning, just after eating his breakfast,
as usual.
Here is printers joke; they know how to
pun sometimes
Georgia paper brags about nine.year old
printer who on recent day set 4 800 ems of solid
matter without error. That boy is on the
highway to Confluence.
In this extract the reporter shows that won
derful quill.power for which Western reporters
are becoming famous 1t is much better than
saying that girls hair is 'red": n
The profuslon and color of her HAIR would
lead one to look upon it as though it was spun
BY aimble fingers of the easy hours, as they gin.
ded through the bright June days. whose many
rays OF light had been caught in the meshes and
were content to go no further.
Another brilliant new heading appears in the
word "Neighborhoodical.
The Buffalo Express tells us what the select
troop of political acro5ats are now doing, by
quoting the description of that accomplished An.
aconda mentioned in the old song, who could
swallow himself crawl through himself,
Come ont with great facility;
AND n Wink With Sg gTeat ss Thty Ms tail
This editor is tired of the d. V. business:
Well be hanged ii some old idiot out West
hasn't gone aud named an infant Dolly Warden
The following item shows style of localitem.
izing which is becoming very fashionable:
A Chicago man dreamed that his child would
be scalded to death. He took every precaution
against such catastrophe, but precisely five
weeks and two days after the dream. the little
boy was run over by dog.car,. and escaped
uninjured
What means the Newark adcer.sser in this
little item
The average good sense Of educated people
has settled down to the conviction that the we'll.
managed club is the safest 0ut.dOos so!ace of the
social man.
An exchange mentions Mr.. Abt, author of the
"Homeward Fly"
1t is noticeable nowadays thu: journals lust
starting invariably envulf their readers in a de.
LUCE of correspondence from ali parts of the
world. This comes of the confusion necessarily
attending the Inauguration of such an enter
prise, and the consequent difficulty If coofiuing
each editor to his own proper departuent.-Ne,o
YORK. CommerciM
The Movement Cure il known to be an excel.
lent mode OF treatment for chronic diseases and
weaknesses. And 50 the American people have
concluded to try il, on grand scale, as q remedy
Tor that miserable disease known as Grsntism-
dlseHse with which the nation has been affct.
ed for more than three years There is every
indication that this great movement of the peo-
pie will prove indeed movement c,,rs.-CIica.
go Sum-
Commenting upon Gen. Logan's recent speech,
and declaring that it embodies the same glories
which the same orator formerly attributed to the
Democratic party, the Chicago Tribune presents
this summary Of the effort:
Farmers, you not prosperous Don't your
cows give twenty four quarts Of milk day, and
don your oats grow forty bushels to the acre
and sell tor t~enty.seven cents; Don't your
vile have new baby every year, and don't you
send Oh, IL" pupil annually 70 the public
school, lsn' .emission Of sins free TO all OF
you who repent, and can't you have pew in
the church b! laying for it And now de-.
Mano "f you, Hs farmers. as husbands and as
Cnr''''an'. nnder what political party have you
enjoyed nii this prosperity Under tho Grant
party you answer. Then vote for Grant