The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-11-15
HUMOROUS.

- IfdnSHctIo'lS Ill ifHlf Il tile neaH- -
ing given by Detroit editor to IN &C
count of 4 street fight.
A kaRsas man who went 10 a circus
thought that the Egyptian mummy
was nothing but jerked Ipinn."
a western paper advertises for girls
for cooking. Wepreier them raw mo
matter what variety.
To the anxious inquiry +" How. shall
weskeep our boys in higilts:" We
would respectfully suggest a total
abstinence from unripe fruits.
An Iowa editor recently announced
that Il certain patron Of his was ''thiev-
Ing as usual.n lie declares he wrote
it thriving
A gushing poet asks in the first line
of recent etlnsion. /" How many
weary pilgrims lie Z" We give itup,
hnt experience has taught Us That there
are a good many.
A South street boy can make ore
hundred and sixty-five "faces With
out sitting down. The feelings of hi'
hroken-hearted father, when reaching
for him with strap, can better be I'M
agined than described.
We didn't think there was anybody
so insane as to practice Oh y holiday
with q pistol loaded with lead. but as
there is such a person in Datblry, we
hope he may be caught, and respect
ably buried.
Mrs. Emery, Of Indiana, warns all
women against her tickle, aithless
husband, who has deserted her. She
says he may be recognized BY a broken
nose, which she demolished with q
skillet.
| 4 German, willie crossing tile noun
talns during the winter, states: dat
ven going up lie mountain his foot
slipped him Off OH de ice. and he COON
! down on de broad of his back init his
face stickin' in de mud, and dere he
/ SIhood.'
/ 4 Greenwich man has Invented
| something that goes into a COW or
horse and brings ont altything like an
j apple or potato that may he misplaced.
A good deal Of enjoyment il an ami
! mails eating il marrel hy the appre-
helision of accidents in swallowing.
/ The Greenwich mans Invention viii
be apt to give the animal more conf
dence.
II wish you would give me that
gold ring on your filger," said a
dandy to 4 country girl, :" for it re-
sembles the duration Of my love for
you--it has no end" "Excuse me,
! SIR she said. :" i choose to keep it
for Ii h likewise elnblelnatical of my.
love for yott--it has no beginning y
| \ Fackville, Pennsylvania, COW ate
an entire barrel OF Saur-kraut torluncb,
and then refreshed herself with a tub
Of cider vinegar that was standing
near. She gave sour milk Tor a week
atterwarl, and her owner says he Is
going to move. lie says be can't
stand It In German community.
Girls for cooking" is the latest
| advertising dodge.
4 Charleston lady wants place as
assistant in the duties of a family"
:
Why il a newspaper like IN army?
Because 1t has leaders, columns and
reviews.
A Chicago poet begins an apostrophe
to the ocean with ''Prodigions damp
Iness /"
One Missouri editor says of another.
that "his ears would do for awnings
to a ten-story wholesale hog packing
establishment" |"
A Leayenworth editor sat down ina
reserved seat already occupied l,y a
hornet. He stands up when scissor
Ing his editorials now.
Many persons write articles and
send them to the editor to be corrected
las If an editors Office was a house
Of correction.
--------.A---4A- . ss.--v--4----44..
Plus TX, issa very handsome old
! man, wilha manner at once shrewCl
! aud bland, He appears to bc III ex.
cellent health for 4 person Of bis ad-
! yanced years, and though he has 4
t shutling quit, inseparablc, perhaps,
J from his r4lther itlc0liyenient cOstnsna.