The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-06-20
HIS LAST STAMP.
BY MARK TWAIN.

BY MARX TWAIN.
LeoEidas Lunch recently stepped into
dining room, not more than a hundred
rods from Franklin statue, and with COM
posed but hungry countenance called for
plate of hash In very genteel voice. 1t
happened, fortunately for him, that the
desired compound was not quite ready, and
one Of the walters told him so, at the same
time handing him paper, and politely
asking him to take seat. Leonidas did
so, with grateful bow, at the same time
remarking that he was in no hurry and he
was not, as will be presently proven. He
observed, as he was complacentiy reading
the last news of the Alabama claims, that
the waiter was backing his own boots,
which done, Leonidas arose and asked for
the brush Just to rub bit of mud from
my boots
! Taking the brush in one hand and the
backing in the other, in few moments he
had given his feet casing brilliant polish,
and followed up his luck by liberal and
adroit use of the broom brush over his clothes
He took up the brush and regenerated the
nap of his sad silk hat.
Those hash are not quite ready yet, are
they ? he coolly inquired and being an
swered In the negative, he said it was no
matter, US he was not wanted at the CITY
Hall just yet ; and, turning around, he
calmly surveyed the arran gements of the
place, and condescended the remark that it
was 'not quite equal to the Metropolitan or
Delmonico's, still very neat-rery neat in
deed
Upon careful examination of his hands
he observed that the backing had soiled
them, he proceeIei to the wash basin, he
turned on the Croton, and, with free use of
scented soap, he secured hi' face and hands
most thoroughly. Then he whisked a once
white hankerch ef, quickly washed and
Wrung 1t, and returned it to his hat to dry
The waiter being busy with other customers
took but little notice of his maneuvres, and
taking advantage Of this auspicious fact,
Leonldas removed the dirty paper collar
and substituted a clean one Immediately
subsequent he had hold of caster bottle
containing sweet oil, and pouring out about
an ounce, treated his distracted head to a
bath of it, and now before a mirror he made
rapid and tasteful use of comb and brush
Observing his movements one of the wait
ecs approached him with
'llaye You given your order, sir?
90, yes, thank you. It's coming on
soon.
What dish was it, sir p
Hash. 4 plate of nice hash, to begin
Leonidas now approached the counter,
where, seeing case of fancy articles,
among them tooth brushes, he called for
one, as # intending to purchase, and after
a long scrutiny selected one, at the same
time helping himself to a pinch of snuff,
just as the proprietor was closing his snuff
box. He now lightly stepped to the wash
basin AND gave his teeth such cleaning as
few teeth can withstand, and finished Just
as the anxious waiter hurried breathlessly
towards him. exclaiming:
Here's your hash. sir. Hash, sir, hash
Leonidas laid down the tooth brush and
strobe with dignity to the table, where he
seated himself with a satisfactory IIar as
if one of John Ludin's banquets had been
spread before him.
After one mouthful, Here WAITER he
exclaimed, fill this water pitcher and bring
me the walnut ketchup.' This mandate
being fulfilled he proceeded to lay waste the
hash. After finishing that, with which he
dcvoured half q dozen thick slices of bread
and about quarter of pound of butter,
he crumbled the remaining slices into
tumbler of milk, the pitcher happening to
hold about two quarts. Seeing nothing
else on the table but a plate of pickles, he
swallowed them all regardless of curds,
probably considering that he had stomach
for anything
BY this time Leonidas Lunch appeared
to have got quite comfortable, for, tiltlng
his chair back against the wall, crossing
his legs and folding his hands, he fell into
a snooze, having achieved one of the cheap
est dinners on record in little while he
began TO snore harmoniously, resounding
: blasts Of victory.
4 say, Jack, said one waiter to another,
, who is that snoozer cut there agin the
wall?
4 don't know. Thought you did, he
makes himself so much at home. He called
for plate of hash about two hours ago.
: SAID something about not being in hurry
to 20 to City Hall. Clerk perhaps
4 noticed lie swallowed all the bread and
milk and pickles, ana thinned that butter
down
; What makes him snore so a.?
4 pose it's the pickles quarreling with
the milk
| AT this moment Leonidas sneezed with
5 such violence that his chair tilted forward,
, and he awoke amidst peal of laughter
; from the waiters-the customers having
| long before gone about their business.
, Had good sleep, sir ?? gravely inquir-
: ed a waiter as Leondas strode up to the
, counter to settle for his hash.
Sleep? Me? Yes, believe I did doze
5 a little. Ten cents, | believe p
r For the hash ? said the clerk, laying
, particular emphasis on the word.
'le e-e-s, said Leonidas, airily, stroking
| his English whiskers. One plate only, |
believe, for the hash ?
j Ten cents plate for hash only, )" replied
: the clerk, winking slyly to tie walters, who
| were making all sorts of grimaoes.
Leoniias put his hand in his pocket, and