Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1872-01-06
bnurorons.

| married my second wife she was dreadful
set about going on a bridal tour. l told
her she'd better wait six months or a year.
and I'd try to go with her and she said
she'd rather go alone-when woman is
! travelling, man is an out-and out humbup.
! 50 gave her seventy five cents, and told
her to go and have a good time 1 never
bcgrudge money when my wife's happiness
i. concerned. My first wife never could
complain OF not going anywhere-for am
dreadful to go off on a good time myself,
and always was. j DON'T pretend to say
how many times | took her out to sec the
sights and there was no end to the free
lectures 1 let her 60 to- The neghbors
used to say: 1T beats all how the Skin
ners do 60 =
When the circus was in Skunkville the
manager gave my wife II complimentary
ticket. l not only sold that ticket for nv
wife, but gave her half the money. don't
boast OF 1t but | only mention it to show
how much thought of her happiness.
don't think any man ought to get mar
ried until he can consider his wife's happi-
ness only second to his own. John Wise.
ncighbor of mine, did thusly, and when
got married concluded to do likewise.
But the plan didn't work in the case of
my second wife. No-I should say not. 1
preached the subject kindi,.
Matilda" said /, L suppose you are
aware that l am now your lord and mas
ter p
Not much you amt = said she.
:. Mrs. skinner, said |, you are fearfully
disorSanized You are cranky = And I
brandished my new sixty-cent umbrella
wildly around her.
She took the umbrella away from me,
and locked me up in the clothcs-press.
am quick to draw an inference and the
inference that l drew here was that L was
not a success as a reorganizer offemale wo-
men.
After this I changed my tactics. I let
her have her own way and the plan from
the very first worked to a charm 1t fs the
best way OF managing wife that l know
Of
Of course this is between you and me.
It's n secret worth Knowing.
SO when my wife said abe was bound to
go of on bridal tour anyhow, cordially
assented.
Go, Matilda said /, and stay as you
want to ; then. if you feel as though you
would like to stay little loDgcr-stay, my
DEAR
She told me to stop talking, and go up
stairs aud get her red flannel night-cap,
and that bag of pennyroyal for her aunt
Abigail. My wife is very smart woman.
She was Ba1ter-and the Baxters are a
smart family, indeed. Her mother, who
is going on eighty, can fry more slapjacks
now than half of those primp up town
girls who rattle on the piano OF walk the
streets with their ltrbelows and fixings,
pretending to get mad if a young chap looks
at them pretty hard, but getting mad in
earnest if you take no notice Of them at
all.
All girls amt what they used to be
when l was young; and The fellows are
worse still. When l went courting, for
instance, L never thought of staying till
after ten O'Clock, and only went twice o
week. Now they go seven nights in the
week, and cry because there amt eight.
Ther they write touching notes to each
other through the day.-'Dear George: Do
you love me as you did at quarter to twelve
last night? Say so, dearest, and it will
give me courage to 90 down and tackle
them cold beans left over from yesterday
Wen well l suppose they enjoy them
selves, and it ain't for us old folks, whose
hearts have got little calloused by long
wear, to interfere. Let them get together
and court, if they like it-and | think they
do. | was forty-scyen when / courted my
present wife, but it seemed Just as nice to
sit at her feet and let her smooth my hair,
as it did thirty years ago.
AS said before, my wife was smart
woman but she couldn't be anything else
and be Baxter. She used to give lectures
on woman's rights, and in one place where
she lectured big college conferred the ii
tie LII. ID. upon her. But she wouldn't
take II. No, gentlemen said she, give
it 10 the poor" She was always Just SO
charitable. She gave my boys permission
to go bare-footed all winter, and insisted
on it so much in her kind way that the
boys couldn't refuse.
She fairly dotes upon my children, and
I've seen her many a time 20 for their trow-
sers pockets after they had gone to sleep,
and take out their pennies and put them
in her bureau drawer-for fear they might
lose them.
l started out to tell you all about my
wife's bridal tour /; but the fact is, l never
could find out much about it myself | be-
lieye she had good time. She came back
improved in health and l found out before
she was in the house twenty-four hours
that she had gained in strength also. /
didn't say how found out. l simply say
| found out.
In conclusion, would say to all young
men, marry your second wife first, and
out of debt by all means, even if you have
the money to do it.
u
girl, during the years II to Is spend but
one hour daily in mental labor, taking up
one study at a time. walk another hour,
labor al some agreeable employment three
or four hours, read an hour, sleep all she
wants during the night, but never take
daytime maps" eat plain, nourishing
food, mostly bread or boiled beef, and every
day indulge in all the fun ana frolic which
her youthful spirits can devise, and she vii!
become healthy, happy and intelligent.
Then, from eighteen to twcnty-oue, she
may attcud college, and will find herself
better able to carry off prizes than the girls
! who have been always at school. But she
will not have developed wiry muscular
/ strength equal to the young men of her own
/ age, because nature has forbidden it. \
girl is provided from birth with more adj
/ pose tissue than a boy, not as some sup
/ pose, 10 keep her warm, but TO render her
muscles more juicy, soft and yielding than
his. The Investigations of some anatomists
! have also proved that her body contains n
much greater number of nerves ana that
her arlerial system on approaching woman.
I Al