The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-10-31
OUR CHIP BASKET.


- IL
Dead language-"Rah for Grant"
Minister Schenck is about to visit Italy.
Instead of yaccinating they barricade in
North Carolina.
A loving swain in Maine dedicated nap
kin ring ''To my almost wife"
=; Quiz has two vehicles: one in the barn,
and his wife is a little sulky.
When is money damp? When it is "dew
in the morning and mist at night"
An absent minded type setter, made the
New York World call Shakespeare '"the di-t
vine Williams"
A lady was lately hugged to death in
Minnesota another illustration Of the 'pow-
er Of the press"
The minister who boasted that he could
preach without notes didn't mean banknotes.
Ofeourse not. = 4
eMassa Christopher Columbus was queer
man" said anegro orator Ga notion crossed
him one day, and then he crossed an ocean,
laA wag lent clergyman horse which
ran away and. threw him. and then claimed
credit for "aiding in spreading the gospel"
.aAssW Welsh orator recently rernarkedin
fine peroration, tInnoeence is like an umbrel-
la-7yhen once you have lost it, we can me-
YER bopeto see it back again. .'s
dr. -, =. - = :. 49, ILL.,. M W.
an ~impecuiious tdrinker to the bar tender.
Eyes" '"Wen, when; I'getaty dollar bill
I'll bring it in" =; =; =.
An English traveller says: Put an Ame-
rican baby ixImmths old pnsits feet, and it
will Immediately say, Mr.. Chairman, and
cal! The next cradle to 'order." "fstdef x
20 Gol, Dewy says the Indians are. possessed
Of more curiosity than a woman. That ex-
plains their mania for scalping. They only
want to know what is insidefthe heads. 10
+ a one.armed soldier, who has been living
on charity in Dubuque, got into fracas
and busted his business by drawing forth the
severed member. and planting stinger on
his opponents nose with it. =
A Chicago paper received letter from a
lady which read as follows: "Why is it that
dear Lord Byron, who used to write such
beautiful, beautiful poetry: keeps SO quiet
lately?" slaa , ~
An excellent old deacon, who having won
fine turkey at charity rattle, didn't like
to,teh his orthodox wife how he came by it,
quietly remarked that the "Shakers gayeit
to him" = : r.. -
Tt issEa that nine of4Barnum's camels
and dromedaries have died of envy since
they saw some of the humps on the backs of
some of our daughters of fashion.
, That is an ingenious girl in Joliet. ILL.,,
who being troubled with beaux who stay late,
has instructed the servant to bring her in
lunch Off onions and cold pork at 10 p. m.
The beaux generally make their bows at
once.
Local editing must be jolly in Salem,
Washington County, New York. The editor
of the Press received the following delight
full missive: "Youm fellers must keep us
fellers names out Of your paper, else youm
get your ID snout busted This is bizness', !,
A young woman in Michigan has achiev-
ed local celebrity by making 300 barrels in
week, the hoops and slaves being furnished
| to her. We knew bellejn Saratoga who,
! in one week, not only made nearly as many
butts Of young men, but set two Of them to
! nunchin' each other World.
aHow do you get along with your arith-
. metic ?" asked father of his little boy, who
answered and said: "I've cyphered through
! addition partition, substraction, distraction,
abomination, justification, halucination, de-
l,rivation, amputation, creation and adop-
ton" e g ..-s ..1E's ,..
I The grossest instance of humbug we have
met with for long time is that ofan individ-
ual who adyertises for sale Siberian blood
hound, which he calls ga l." when every one
possessing the ordinary rudiments of an En-
:; glish education ought to know that the beast
is K 8.
Just as passenger train going west on
the Detroit and Milwaukee road yesterday
was clear OF the city, and running az the rate
of ten or twelve miles m hour, an old man
named Dixon, living in Ionia county, sudden
ly leaped from his seat, rushed to the plat
form and bounded off, turning about forty
somersaults before he brought up against the
fence In short time he appeared at the
depot, looked all around and then exclaimed :
"What an old fool; I thought I had left my
umbrella here and jumped off the cars to get
it, and now, hang me, if I don't remember
chucking it under the seat" ."-DetrOa Free
Press.
A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD WIFE BEAT
ER-Nathan Simon, a lank, overgrown
youth of thirteen, was arraigned at EsseA one
> day last week on charge of beating his wife
; Emily, aged 25.-Justice Shadley question