The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1872-04-27
A PHYSICIANS STORY.

tPhii, keep the office door shut and the
windows open. None Of your sacrileglous
games Of marbles on the front steps. BE
have yourself respectfully, and wash bot
ties till come back or I'll turn you off to-
morrow. Have an eye to Mrs. Thompson's
gate, and if anybody should call for me,
YOU know where l am to he found, l sup
pose?
Phil responded by a grinning nod the
question was superfluous. 1t is an attri-
butte of boys of fourteen that they know
everything they should not know, and II
there he one Of the class who eXcels his fell
| lows in useless knowledge, my Phil Is that
lad Apparently busted forever in those
light but continuous labors which pertain
to an Office boy, he contrived to keep 4 far
more watchful eye upon my movements
than | was able to do upon his, and could
tell fprobably did exactly in what direc-
ton usually bent my steps after the above
formula, whether I walked on the right or
left hand side of tile street, and how soon
| reached my destination-the number OF
times my tender knuckles came in contact
with certain hard green door, and the
reception that awaited me inside it, the
length Of my stay-the only thing he had
legitimate right to know-and the mlen,
cheerful or detected, according to the for
tunes of the day, with which l returned to
the empty office and full bottles, overwhich
he was supposed to mount guard during
my absence.
Preferring not to notice the peculiarly
of my assistant manner, as it might in
volve awkward explanations, | closed the
door of his prison with an authoritative
bang, that shook the slate outside 1t, and
strobe with hasty steps down the village
street. There was no occasion for hurry,
the business I had on hand was not OF
kind to demand it, and had been pending
reasonable time; nor would any more
haste on my part be likely to advance 1t
much, but would rather verify tile old pro-
verb, of less speed I therefore walked
fast purely as Il matter of principle, III the
hope, that the village DANES, who L knew
were watching my progress from behind
the Green paper curtains of their sittin
room windows, might possibly Judge from
nv speed, that | haG been called to pa
tient at last Vain hope. idle precaution.
every one of those astute matrons knew at
least as well as myself the errand upon
which was bound, and far better than l,
as own in all humility, the state health
in the neighborhood, which precluded all
possibility of any professional eNertion on
my part.
And here I may remark, literally en- pas
sant that the town in which | had chosen
to locate was salubrious to painful and
unnatural degree, the very last place in the
world for young physician in ordinary
circumstances to seek his fortune, but my
circumstances were peeular-it was not SO
much fortune that l sought-in short,
had my reasons-and n large practice would
have greatly interlered with my more SER
ious occupation. Still, l do not deny that
4 slight modicum of professional business,
lust to ill up the Intervening time and save
appearances, would not have been amlss
and had been in fact rather anXiously
looking for some symptoms of the sort Tor
a considerable time, without any result at
all. The inhabitants all took Halls Jour
nal of Health;' they cherished Buchan's
Domestic Medicine they studied the
Handbook of HYGIENE they were learn
ed in the works of Fowler. Cold water
was cheap and Plentiful, they used it exter-
nally and acknowledgements was fashion,
able and inevitable, where every lady was
her own help, and every gentleman his own
woodsawyer; food was just dear enough to
make surfeits undesirable, and medicines
was so unpopular that nobody before me
ever ventured to open drug store: the old
ladies dispensed few herbs privately, and
that was the end of it. People did not
seem to die; if anything was the matter
with them, they perseveringly kept on,
! till it stopped, the disease retiring in de-
spair from their determination to be well.
Fat parties, who ought to have been drop
| steal, were not so at all-they grew fatter,
| and tourished like green bay trees; lean
persons, threatening to go off in 4 decline,
declining to do so, remained. Adyentur-
GUS little boys, falling from the tops OF
high trees to the stony ground, sustained
no injuries beyond the maternal chastise
ment and brandy -and- brown paper of home;
babies detied Group and collie with the slen
der aid of Bateman's Drops, and Syrup
of Squills, dispensed by a wise grandma,
| and children of maturer years went through
the popular infant disorders as they went
through their grammars, and with about
as much result. Mumps and measles, ehills
| and chicken pox, prevailed and disappear
ed without medical assistance, and though
| all the children in the village whooped like
| wild Indians, no anxious parent ever
| thought it necessary to call i'll physician.
| There was but one in the place before my
| advent. a comfortable, elderly man, who
+ selected the profession, as practised in his
native town, because it interfered less than
any other with his punctual habits of sleep
| ing and eating, and was 4 gentleman sine
cure, possessing peculiar privileges. No
patient of his ever dreamt of calling him
out at night, or keeping him away from his
meals; the person to be i'll, chose conven-
| lent hour between dinner and tea, and
gave respectful notice at a reasonable time
| beforehand. No extraordinary accidents,
recurring wonderful feats of surgery,
were ever permitted in his practice; no
| stranger shocked his nerves by dying sud
denly at the village hotel; no mysterious
diseases unknown of science, baffled his
/ skill, or defed it: the locality was too far
! south for bronchitis and consumption, too
/ far north for poisonous malaria fevers and
coups dc solei1;; and being inland, just in
side the line of the coast scourges of chol-
era and yellow Jack. In short to quote
the only epitaph in the village churchyard,
Physicians was in vain
1t was Il beautiful morning on which
took my way through this healthful town
i mean, of course, professionally speak
I -. ,,o.,, G,o ,,,rni,,fr iuiaaI Tie nj