Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1872-08-31
BILL WARDEN TOURNAMENT.

Men, women, and children gathered to-
gether in large numbers to witness the
teats OF "noble horsemanship, ard hear
the eloquent 'orations" on ''chlvalry.
The ladies laughed until tears ran down
their checks, the men held their sides
from pain, the boys yelled and the chill
dren screamed, at the grand display.
About 3! o'clock the cavalcade enter
ed the town by Duke street and thence
down German street, preceded by
Strauss celebrated Band, of Boston
Jubilee fame, in wagon drawn by a
spanking team, handsomely caparison-
ed the whole well marshaled by Col.
John Select, as Chief, aided by Captain
Hoss Rieley.
The knights were all splendidly
mounted on bulls, doEkeys, and the tot
tering frames Of what were once horses.
Falstatt" S ragged regiment was nothing
compared to this procession, which halt
ed i'll front Of the College building and
the knights were charged by the lion.
Bnffrtstinzoun, whose knowing looks,
positive gestures, and ora,or-ike ap.
pearsnce, gave force to the following
grandiloquent Grafton -
Gallant chicken. lfters, friends and
fellow-kinmans Il highly depreciate
the honor referred upon me in the col.
lection of myself as your speaker in this
glorious occasion, but muchly regret
that | hay'nt had a suticiencs of time
for preparation 10 undresS you all-on
this very important question, the New
Constitution. OWN to short notice |
shall not occupy your time more than
half as long as might if had twice as
much to say.
But to proceed-In the lSt place,
ISthly-owin to failure on the part Of
the handsome youths OF this vicinity to
keep up (Which translated means to per
petuatc,) the chivalrous spirit that once
pervaded our community and the gulf
of Mississippi, it behooveS US, gallant
hash-eaters, to make some effort to re-
vive this glorious old-County Court
System. To this end, disagreeable to
arrangements made previously, hence,
ago, we have dissembled ourselves to.
gether for the expressive purpose of
bringing to mind those good old days
of lager beer and pretzelS.
In the 2nd place, 20thly-by REFER
ing to Webster's Unabridged Arithme-
tic, You will find that this innocent
this childs play, was en-
gagged in as far back as the year eleven
teen and seven, Is. c., (Which means,
subsequently, before the signing of the
Independence of Indignation, and pre-
viously after the ratification of a treaty
OF peace between the United States and
Ben Butler.) To substantiate this,what
did Thaddeus Greedy say at the raism'
of the north pole ? Didn't he say, ''Alay
Marvs white lamb be uh""ed int"
ham, if ever any boy rides this pole at
a stick-horse tournament ? Even in the
present day we occasionally, or semi
(Which means once in two
hear Of an attempt to
initiate those gallant knights of other
DAYS, of which we ourselves are the on
ly living representatives. Not more
than two weeks ago, had the exquisite
pleasure Of taking part i'll what would
have been the grandest burIesque tour
nament of the season-took a very &C
tive part in that thing-took drink
with one of the Sharpsburg Band, say,
it would have been the grandest bur
lesque of the season, if it hadn't been Tor
q couple of fellows comm in there from
Berkeley and takin' the ring more times
than we could, which was highly un-
wrong, because it was Our tournament.
Now, brave knights, as atoresald,pre-
viously. We are here to-day to bring to
mind those good old days of chivalry.
Look brave like sheep, and ever remem-
Der
"None bu, the brave deserve the drinks :"
Pitch in
am requested to state that the coro-
nation ceremonies vii! not come off I'M
til after it is ascertained who are the
successful knights.
The following knights entered the
list -
Bill Warden.
Love | don't.
Flunkey.
TheUbold Pump Sucker
Knight of the Awkward Squad.
Six Nights in the Bar-room.
BombasteS Furioso.
Our Set.
Heather Chinee.
SoX.
The Knight who got drunk.
Don Quixote Fuzenbug.
Guy Fawkes.
After spirited contest the following
knights won the honors:
Bill Warden, the Queen.
Love ! don't, the lst Maid
Bombastes Furioso, the 2nG Maid.
Don Quixote Fuzenbug,the 3rd Maid.
Hiss Dolly Tardsn was crowned
Queen Of Love and Beauty, and Misses
Jay Hawksr, Polly Select, and Rioh