Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1872-02-13
A Mighty Sociable Place.
BY MARK TWAIN.

IS worth
Colonel Jim had seen something of
the world, and knew more or less of
its ways; but Colonel Jack was from
the back settlements of the States,
had led life Of ardnous toll, and had
never seen city, These two, bl sssed
with sudden wealth, projected visit
to New York-Colonel Jack to see
the sights and Colonel Jim to guard
his unsophisticatiOn from misfortune
They reached San Francisco in the
night and sailed in the morning.
Arriving in New York Colonel Jack
said
| I've heard tell of carriages all my
life, and now | mean TO have ride
in one; | don't care what it costs -
/ Come along
They stepped out on the sidewalk,
and Colonel Jim called . stylish ba-
rouche. But Colonel Jack SAID:
mo, sir None of your cheap
John turnouts for me. I'm here TO
have good time, and money amt
no object. Imean to have the nob'ist
rig that's going. Now here comes
the very trick. Stop that yaller one
with the picture on it-don't you
fret--Pll stand all the expenses my
self"
So Colonel jim stopped an empty
omnibus and they got in. Said Col
Jack:
"Ain't it gay, though ? Oh, no,
reckon not Cushions, and windows
and pictures ill you can't rest. What
would the boys say if they could see
us cutting swell like this in New
York By George, | wish they
could sec US.
Then he put his head out of the
window, and shouted to the driver
"Say, Johnny, this suits me suits
yours, truly, you bet want this
shebang all day. I'm on it, old man
Let EN- outl Make 'em gol Wen
make it all right with you, sonny"
The driver passed his hand through
the strap hole and tapped for his fare
lit was before the gongs came into
common use. Colonel Jack took the
hand and shook it cordially. He
said :
"You twig me, old pard All right
between gents. Smell of that, and
sec how you like it /"
And he put twenty dollar gold
piece into the drivers hands. After
moment the driver said be could
not make change.
Bother the changel Ride it out.
Put it in your pocket"
The omnibus stopped, and young
lady got in. Colonel Jack stared for
a moment, then nudged Colonel jim
with his elbow.
Don't say word" he whispered.
"Let her ride if she wants to. Graz
cious, there's room enough"
The young lady got out her porte
monnaie, and handed her fare to Col.
Jack.
"What's this for ?" said he.
"Give it to the driver, please"
"Take back your money, madam.
We can't allow it. You're welcome
to ride here as long as you please,
but this shebaug's chartered
slant let you pay cent.
The girl shrunk into a corner, be-
wiidered An old lady with basket
elm bed in and proffered her fare.
Excuse me-" said Colonel Jack
"You are perfectly welcome here,
madame, but we can't allow you TO
pay. Set right down there, mum,
and don't you be the least uneasy
Make yourself as free as if you was
in your own turn out"
Within two minutes, three gentle
men, two fat women and q couple of
children, entered
Come right along friends" said
Colonel Jack "don't mind us. This
is free blow out" Then ho whs-
pered to Colonel Jim, New York
amt no Socjable place, | don't reckon
1t amt no name for 1t.
He resisted every effort to pass
fares to the driver, and made every
body cordially welcome. The situa-
tion dawned on the people, and they
pocketed their money, and delivered
themselves up to covert enjoyment
OF the episode. Half q dozen more
passengers entered.
ooh, there is plenty Of ROOM" said
Colonel Jack. Walk right in and
make yourselves at home, A blow
out amt worth anything as blow
out unless body has company. -
Then whisper to Colonel Jim, But
amt these New Workers friendly +?
Asd amt they cool about it, too
lcebergs amt anywhere l reckon
they'd tackle hearse, if it was
going their way"
More passengers got in; more yet,
and still more. Both seats were
filled, and file Of men were stand
ing up holding on to the ceats over
head. Parties with baskets and
bundles were climbing up on the
roof. HaIt-surpressed laughter rip
pied up from all sides.
"Well, for clean, cool, out-and-out
cheek, if this don't bang anything
that ever [ saw. I'm an Injun,"
whispered Colonel Jack.
/ n NIOnNCh his W dN III.
81 weaken" said Colonel Jack
"Hold on, driver Keep your seats,
ladies and gents. Just make your
selves free-everything's paid for.
Driver, rustic these folks around just
as long as they're a mind to GO
friends OF ours you know. Take
them everywhere; and if you want
more money, come to the ST. Nieho-
las, and we'll make it ell right
Pleasant journey to you, ladies' and
gents; 60 TO just as long as you
please-it shan't cost you cent"
The two comrades got out, aud
Colonel Jack said:
Jimmy, it's the S0ciablest place /
ever saw. The Chinaman values in
as comfortable as anybody. If we'd
staid awhile | reckon we'd had some
| nj d., n