Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1872-08-20
NO. 1913.
Misfellal1enns.
AN OLD But TRUE STORY.

tage. Every quality OF the advocate and
the lawyer he displayed. He showed re-
search and perfect mastery of bis profess
sion, and he exhibited his own great and
innate qualities. Who that ever beheld
hlm on the Munster circuit. when he was
IN the height of his fame, but must have
admired his prodigious versatility Of for
midable powers His pathos was often
admirable; his humor flowed without ef-
fort of art. What jokes he uttered! what
sarcasms! How well he worked his case
through, never throwing away chance,
never relaxing his untiring energies.
One of the drollest scenes of vitupera-
ton that OConnell ever figured in took
place in the early part Of his life. Not
long after he was called TO the bar, his
character and peculiar talents received
rapid recognition from all who were even
casually acquainted with him. His talent
Tor vituperative language was perceived
and by some he was, even in those DAYS.
considered matchless as scold There
was, however, at that time in Dublin a
certain woman, Biddy Moriarty, who had
huchster $ stall ON one OF the quays near
ly opposite the Four Courts. She wassa
yiragoc OF the first order, very able with
her fist, and still more formidable with
her tongue From one end of Dublin to
the other she was notorious for her powers
OF abuse, and even in the provinces Mrs.
Morlarty's language had passed into cur
rency. The dictionary of Dublin slang
was considerably enlarged by her, and
her youlble impudence had become almost
proverbial. Some of O'Connell's friends.
however, thought that he could beat her
IN the use of her own weapons. OF this.
ha 1,aA
he had listened once or twice to some mi
nor specimens Of her Billingsgate. 1t
was mooted once whether the Young Ker-
ry barrister could encounter her, and some
OF the company Gin O'Connell's presence)
rather too freely rdiculed the idea of his
being able to meet the famous Madame
Moriarty. O'Connell never liked the idea
OF being put down, and he professed his
readiness to encounter her, and even
backed himself for the match. Bets were
offered and taken. 1t was decided that
the match should come off at once.
The party adjourned to the hucksters
stall, and there was the owner herself.
experimenting the sale of her small wares.
A few loungers and ragged idlers were
hanging round her stall-for Biddy was
character" and, in her way, was one of
the sights of Dublin.
OConnell was very confident of success.
He had laid an ingenious plan for over
coming her, and with all the anxiety of an
ardent eXperimentalist, waited to put it
into practice. He resolved to open the at
tack. At this time O'Connell's own party
and the loungers about the place formed
an audience quite sufficient to arouse Mrs.
Moriarty, on public provocation, to due
exhibition OF her powers. O'Connell then
commenced the attack:
Whats the price of this walking stick,
Mrs. Whats-your-name?
'Moriarty, sir, is my name, and a good
one 1t is, and what have You to say agen
it' and one-and-sixpence's the price of the
stick. Iroth it's cheap as dirt-so it is.'
"One-and-sixpence for walking stick
Whew! why, you are no better than an
imposter, to ask eighteenpence for what
cost you twopence.'
"Iwopence, your grandmother" re-
Piled Biddy, 'do yoy mean to say that its
chatting the people | am? ?"
Aye, imposter, and it's what call YOU
to your teeth" rejoined O'Counell.
Come, cut your stick, you cantanker-
Gus iackanapes." :"
keep civil tongue in your head. you
old diagonal" replied OConnelI, calmly.
stop. your jaw, you pug-nosed badger;
or by this and that cried Mrs. Moriarty,
showing her fists, ''I'll make you go quick
er nor you come"
Don I be III passion, my old radius
anger will only wrinkle your beauty"
by the hokey. If you say another word
OF impudence, I'll tan your dirty hide, you
bastely common scrub; and sorry I'd be
TO SOIL my fists upon your carcass"
"Whew boys, what a passion old Bid
dy is in protest, as I'm gentleman
"Jintleman iintleman the likes of youa
Jmtleman! wisha, by gar; the bangs Ban
agher. Why you potato-iaced pippin
sneezer, when did a Madagascar monkey
like you pick enough of common Christian
decency to hide your Kerry brogue."
'.Easy, now, easy, now," cried O'Con-
nell, with imperturbable good humor,
"don't choke yourself with fine language,
you old whiskey drinking paralellogram.n
Whats that you call me, you murder
in yillain?" roared Mrs. Morarty, stung
into fury
II call you," answered O'Connell,
paralellogram, and Il Dublin Judge and
Jury would say that it's no libel to call You
so y.
"Oh, tare-an-houns! Oh, holy Biddy!
that an honest woman like me should be
called parrybellygrum to her face. I'm
none OF your parrybellygrums, you ras-
cally gallows-bird you cowardly, sneak
ing. plate-likin' bliggardw
''oh, you, indeed! ~ retorted O'Connell;
why, | suppose you'll deny that you keep
an hypothenuse in your house ?'
ITS lie for you, you dirty robber;
never had such a thing in my house, you
swiudling thief
why, sure all the neighbors know very
well that you keep, not only a hypothe-
muse, but that you 90 out to walk with
him every Sunday, you heartless old hep
tagon."
..Oh, hear that, yo saints of glory! Oh.
there's bad language from fellow that
wants to pass for jintleman. May the
devil fly away with you, you mieher from
Munster, and make celery sauce of your
rotten limbs. you mealy-tub of garbage
"Ah, you can't deny the charge, you
miserable submultple of a duplicate ra-
to-"