Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-08-01
arieties.

NNl 60 1ClOuS.
ALWAYS "hard pressed Bricks.
TAKING drop too much-Hanging
ones self.
RLACKsMlTHs are given to disturbance
Making A poke R and A shove L.
" DoCToR, what do you think is the
cause of this frequent rush of blood to
my head ?" sob! it is nothing but an
effort of nature. Nature, you know.
abhors vacuum"
"SAMBo, did you ever see the Catskill
Mountains?" ono, sab; but I've seen
'em kill mice"
The editress of Western journal
apologies for the detention of her pa.
per, " because of the arrival of an extra
male"
Now, Johnny Wells, can you tell
me what is meant by miracle?"
Yes, teacher; mother says if YOU
don't marry the parson it will be
miracle
A YOUNG lad who was called as wit
ness was asked if he knew the nature
of an oath, and where he would 90 if
he told lie. He said he supposed
he should 60 where all the lawyers
went.
"MAY leave few tracts?n asked a
travelling quack doctor of lady who
responded to his knock. "Leave some
tracks? Certainly you may" said she,
looking most benignly over her specs j.;
" leave them with the heel toward the
house, if you please"
AN old woman, on being examined
before a magistrate as to the place of
legal settlement, was aske what rea-
son she had for supposing her husband
had legal settlement in that town
The old lady said, "He was born and
narrated there, and they buried him
there, and if that isn't settling him
there, | don't know what is"
ARE sister Sal and Nance resources,
pa p "No, my son; why do you ask
that question ~ " Because | heard
Uncle Josh say if you would only hus-
band your resources you would get
along great deal better than you do,
that's all, pa" Pa plunges into a sta tie
of IN tense reflection.
A LITTLE boy in Shreveport recently
asked lady who made her teeth.
She replied, "God" FWell," re-
marked young Shreveport, Dr. Ken
dali made mothers and they beat yours
by sight"
IF you don't look carefully after
the bits of your horse, you may one
t day be looking after the bits of your
} carriage.
A DETROIT paper says if any tobacco.
4 chewer finds 2. finger in his fne-cut, it
belongs to a boy in Bagley's factory
2 who left it there recently.
Two friends meeting, one remarked
81 have just met man who told me
looked exactly like you" "Tell me
: who it was that 1 may knock him
: down." replied his friend. DOM
: trouble YOURSELF said he, 81 did thai
myself"
"BoY," said an ill-tempered old mar
E to noisy lad, what are you hollerin
u + for when l am going by ?" Humph 7
= returned the boy, what are you going
: by for when am hollerin' ?"
o IT is told of a young gentleman
a whom a maiden liked but father didn't
Q that at reasonable ~ hour the ole
3 gent mildly intimated that the time
q for retiring had arrived. 81 think you
d are correct, my dear sir,' answered tn
nineteenth century, modestly, "we
\ have been waiting over an hour TO
4 YOU to put yourself in your little bed.
4 Father retired thougntfully.
MoHAMMED once said: When ;
man dies, men inquire what he has LET
behind him; angels inquire what h
8, has sent before him."
Of SOME men are like cats. You ma
q, stroke the fur the right way for years
Ie and hear nothing but purring bu
s. accidentally tread on the tail, and al
O. memory of former kindness is obliteI
is ated.
e. MOTHER was amused the other da
n to hear this bit of argument fror
I'd her little boy: Mamma, | don't Sc
n how Satan turned out to be such ba
D. fellow: there wasn't any devil to pu
ed him up to It'll"
ne The Springfield Republican says
n "Mary Hogan eloped from Connect
lie out Shaker community, and marie
ed Brother jackson on the sly. Sh
quietly remarked to friend after til
ceremony: you can make your al
ple-sass and warrant it to keep bl
IL gals amt apples, and you can't bile Eel
on down so they won't sour on your OIL
ait rules about marriage
ye. AND now another fondly ei1erishe
en- tradition is sternly swept away by tt
nj. Rev. James B. Dunn, of Boston, who
OF travelling in Palestine. The reverer
OF gentleman visited the Dead Sea, and
ng description of that notorious water al
oor, salt fatty contradicts all the accoun
Ior of all other travellers. He says that Il
ea waters are clear, and ripple beautiful
go that the shores are green with shru
.lu berry, and bright with pretty flower
lor He admits that the waters are heavy al
bitter, but denies that they are new
Oh ruffied; on the contrary, "their wav
ed splashed on the pebbly beach, and in t
ed distance their white crests looked lii
so many white fawns."