Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-11-28
HOW THE EDITOR EUCHRED HIM.

Fitz-Augustus Jones was sweet tempered
youth of sixteen he was also candidate for
literary honors. Many were the poetical eft-
sions that emanated from his pen, and many
were the curses hurled at his head by the edi.
tor of the Clarion, who seemed to be the most {.
abused of the many victims that Fitz took de-
light in torturing. Although his poems we're
never published, he did not give up in despair,
as great many would have done, but contin.
ued to write on, for he wasa persevering youth,
and his cheek was sublime. AT last, the edi-
tor, finding that Fitz could not be blufied OFT,
concluded TO publish one Of his poems, know
ing what the result would be. In due course
of time, the "Lines to Mary Jane" as they
we're called, appeared in conspicuous part of
the paper, and in less than an hour afterward
q man with cowhide concealed under his
coat and copy of the Clarion in his hand,
was seen rushing along the turnpike, in the
direction of Mr.. Jones residence. Arrived
at the house, he burst open the door, and
stalked into the room where Fitz was seated
and before that astonished young man could
utter an exclamation of surprise, the man had
ierked him into the middle of the room, where
he held him with one hand while he pointed
to the "poem" with the other.
"Scoundrel p he thundered, "what do you
mean by writing such trash about my wife?
Answer mel" and he brandished the coWhide
aloft. ..-.- g..
The sight of that whip seemed to awaken
poor Fitz to sense Of the situation, and ne
managed to stammer out:
"Wh-what is that you say? Me write trash
about your wife? Why, what the devil dye
mean?"
didn't you write those lines? You are &C.
credited with the authorship, and the editor
says you wrote them." And the man -four.
ished the paper beneath his (Jones nose.
eyes, wrote 'em p exclaimed Fitz, some.
what indiscreetly, for he had expected that
this production would meet with the same fate
that the others had, and was agreeably sur.
prised when he found it had not.
"You did, eh ?" roared the man, now thor.
oughly exasperated. "Take that, you scoun-
And he proceeded to rain blow after blow
upon the back of poor Fitz, until that worthy
went down on his knees, begged for mercy,
and then, only then, did the enraged man
pocket his whip.
"Young man, SAID ne, glarlng at tue pros
trate youth, II think you have had quite
enough Take my advice and leave off wri:
ting poetry in future, unless you can avoid
personality. Let this be warning to you.
And the man strobe out of the room.
When Fitz had sufficiently recovered from
the effects of that awful thrashing, he picked
himself up, together with the copy Of the
Clarion the man had dropped. Running his
eye over the offensive "Lines," he found moth
ing wrong until he came to the last verse, the
first line Of which had been altered by the ed
itor, and read as follows:
"For you live, dear Mrs. Rose:
For you sigh in vain;
Dare hope my loves returned,
My darling Mary Jane?"
It should have read: H..
"For you live my sweetest rose," &c.
The editor said it was mistake of the COM
positor's but Jones knew better, and said "it
was darn mean trick" That dose Of COW.
hide cured him, for he never wrote another
"poem."