The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-09-06
DEALER,

ave" Aolh A"SeoA pao oSOA oeiACu W
the workingmcn, because it has not
struck for eight hours
A Leavenworth editor sat down in a
reserved scat already occupied by a hor-
net He stands up when scissoring his
editorials now.
The Boston Traveller accuses Gen
eral Banks of wanting to ride the pop
ular wave in going for Greeley.
That is pretty fair for Grant or
gan.
A Pennsylvania editor, who has been
on deadhead excursion out on the
plains, lost his pass and had to walk
seventy miles before he could find a
man who had sufficient confidence in
him to lend him money to telegraph
home for his wife to sell the cookstove
and remit the proceeds at once.
A Texas editor, in discussing the
right of a member of Congress from
that state to his seat, says: The seat
is his by one of the highest titles known
to the laws of civilised Landslide right
of purchase-for he bought the seat and
paid for it,
Said distinguished politician to his
son: "Look at me! l began an alder
man, and here I am at the top of the
tree; and what is my reward? Why,
when l die, my son will be the greatest
rascal in the city" TO this the young
hopeful replied: eyes, dad, when you
die, but not till then"
DR.. Jamison, of Indianapolis, is hold
ing four different offices, and he says
that if Greeley is elected this country
will be cternally ruined. There isn't a
single man holding even one office but
agrees with him.
A suburban justice ently settled a
case in which boy committed an as
sault with pistol, by committing the
lad and and ordering the pistol to he
discharged. Is this the boosted fair
ness of our courts?
A good many trades-people only give
fifteen ounces to the pound-it is bad
weigh they have.
A Salem { Massachusetts, man swal-
lowed his teeth and came near going
toothless to the grave, but locter with
a set of graphing irons fshed them up,
and the patient now wears them tied to
his ear witha string.
GRANT is a little afraid that Mosby
will 90 over to the Blanton Duncan par
ty. The administ ration ought to do
for its pet guerrilla, or the
first thing you know he vii be out for
Greeley. @......
oh pshaw! This is what the CLIQUE
ester paper says: Gone Of the biggest
doses of classes and water" ever mixed in
this harbor was on yesterday forenoon,
when eighty blooming damsels were BATH
ing on the Pavilion Beach at one time. "
Some of the Radical papers are pre-
dieting panic in case of Greeley's elec-
tion. No doubt of it; such panic among
the thieves and ballot-stufrers as the
world has never witnessed.
You run no risk pouring oil out Of
a can into your stove if you have no fire
N it. Another safe way is to not have no
oil in the can.
eat the present time, says the
New York Tribune, 'sthe government
If Arkansas is worse than that ola fourth
rate South American States, and tic
administration appears to have no sense
If dccency in the management Of this
satrapy
Many lackadaisical young ladies
would be ashamed to talk Of their long
but you hear plenty Of their
heighos!
The Chicago Tribune puts down the
sum of $314,719 SIS as the amount of
Secretary Robeson's illegal payments.
We shall not venture to request MIR.
to tell us how he contrived to
-, away with the $314, 10; it would
De asking too much of him;but we would
ike to know what he did with that IS
cents.
An Indiana town has the following
log ordinance: Dogs that are not collared
md labeled no matter how respec tably
will have their narratives
one inch south of their ears.
The differanc between October and
November is, that while with October
eays fall, with November fall leaves.
. 81 TAKES IT ALL DE SANE" An
honest, thifty, well-to-do German in a
Connecticut city applied to wealthy
who rents a great many houses.
1.-The house is to let, certainly" said
owner, 'anl if, upon inquiry, I find
L.