Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-04-25

horses, 1000 sheep and 5000 goats.
THE New York Herald says: "This
city is only occupied by paupers and mill
ionaires. Nc man with family, and earn
ing moderate, fixed income, can live in
New York"
SWELL Ito Dustman)E y" say, old fel-
low, s'pose you take all sorts of wub-
bish in your cart, don't your" Dustman
=" Why, in course does; jump in guy
nor"
THE employers in the New Hampshire
Asylum for the Insane amuse and benefit
the inmates by private theatricals, tab
leaux, etc., during the winter months,
when outdoor exercises are uncomforta-
BILE.
A MAIDEN lady who had once been
Tilted wrote her own epitaph, as fol-
lows
''Here lies the body of one
Who died of constancy alone.
Stranger! Advance with steps courageous,
For this disease is not contagious
A CONNECTICUT man is engaged in
working UP saw-log thirty teet long into
fife for Gilmore's jubilee. 1t will be
blowed by nitro -glycerine. says the Nor
wieh Bulletin, and that paper is authority
on all such subjects.
De QUINCY mentions chapter in Won
Trails work. on Iceland which isentitled,
Concerning the Snakes of Iceland"
The entire chapter consists of these six
words "There are no snakes in Ice
land"
THE Goodyear Manufacturing Com
pany are getting out their spring styles.
Among these is porous. gutta-percha
hotel beefsteak, sponge buckwheat
cake, and an elastic india-rubber fowl,
warranted, with care, to last for years.
"GET out of my way-what are you
good for % said cross old man, to little
bright-eyed urchin, who happened to
stand in the way. The little fellow, as he
stepped one side, replied very gently ::
They make men out of such things as
we are"
OF the gloomiest of practical jokes,
the worst one was that of sending all
the undertakers of New York to a house
in the Bowery on the 1st of April, on a
false orders. It was far more mournful
for the hearse drivers than any funeral.
NJ. PRUDHoMME in the decline of life,
was talking with his nephew, to whom he
related stories of his youth. "But,
uncle" suddenly exclaimed the young
man, "what struck you most during your
life % {" My dear boy, it was your aunt"
A LADY in Atlanta tied her husbands
hands and feet the other day, just for fun,
and then went through his pockets for a
certain billet dour and found it His
physician tells him that his face won't be
badly SCARED, though he may remain
permanently bald. -
THE juvenile rascals of Nashville, Tenn,
have discovered something new under
the sun in the way of mischief They
put lighted matches into the street letter
boxes to see the smoke come putting out
at the crevices from the burning epistles
within.
A STORY is told of youthful member
of the bar at st. Albans, who plunged
into glowing exordium in presenting
his case, in which he declared that,
"When we look back upon the untrodden
paths of the future we behold the foot
prints of an Almighty hand"
SINCE the reign of the Emperor Maxi
milan 1. 1884, the Austrian armies have
fought no fewer than nearly seven thou
sand battles, or one to every fifteen days.
Since the year 1900 Austria has had one
hundred and eleven years of peace, and
one hundred and sixty years of war.
NORWICH, Conn, is somewhat rocky"
says the Boston Bulletin. ssThe cook of
an eminent citizen having injured herself
by repeated falls over ledge which pro-
jected through the kitchen floor, he is
now engaged in blasting it, after which
he will turn his attention to little boul-
der near the centre table in the parlor."
THE Supreme Court of the United
States having decided that husband can
recover damages for the loss of his wife
proportloned to her usefulness and capa-
city to earn money, a Boston man whose
spouse perished in recent railway acci-
dent was allowed by the discriminating
jury exactly six cents.
THE Norwich Bulletin says that several
weeks ago a clergyman from Meriden
preached in one of the Norwich town
churches. 1t was fine sermon. On a
recent Sunday clergyman from Eagle
vile preached in the same church. 1t
was very fine sermon. But it was the
Identical one that was delivered there a
month previous. People are anxious to
know who wrote it.
SNooKs was assured by his genial fa-
ther-in-law that his bride was worth her
weigh in gold. At the end of the first
week of the honeymoon he enticed her
on a hayscale, figured it out that she
would bring $29, $50. so, and sent the old
man word that he would discount the
tlrst five figures of the price, if they
missed her at home" badly.
A ONE LEGGED Yankee orator, named
Jones, was pretty successful in bantering
an Irishman, when the latter asked him,
How did you come to lose your leg?"
Well" said Jones, con examining my
pedigree, and looking up my descent, I
found there was some Irish blood in me,
and becoming convinced that it had set.
tied In that left leg, l had it cut off at
once" BE the powers" said Pat" it
would have been better thing if it had
settled in your head"
AT recent trial, the counsel for the
prosecution, after severely cross-examin-
ing witness, suddenly put on look of
severity and exclaimed: "Now, sir, was
not an effort made to induce you to tell q
different story?" ga different story from
what have told, do you mean?" s'That's
what mean" "Yes, sir, several persons
have tried to get me otell different story
from what have told, but they couldn't9' q
Now, sir, upon your oath, I wish te
know who these persons are" "Well
you've tried about as hard as any Of
them"
A POPCORN vender in San Francisco
first established himself in business on &
well-known thoroughfare, with casl
capital of twenty five, cents, dozen ears
OF corn, pepper, furnace, with five
cents worth of charcoal, and a match
With the necessary amount of exertion
the match was ignited, the fire started
the corn set popping, and business was
commenced. Day after day found hin
sticking to his post, shaking his poppel
over the fire and selling his corn at five
cents bag. He has done SO we'll in the
business as to start several branch con
Germs, and hires number of boys to at
tend them,
By HOOK OR CRooK.-There appears te
pc no want of an origin for this proyerb
In the great fire of London many bound
ary marks were destroyed. This, in con
sequence OF many disputes as to the sites