The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-11-16
Vexations Of q Front Yard.

Vexations of Front Yard.
We have recently moved into a new
house that has front yard We have
always lived in houses whose front yard
was the street. Children will play in the
yard whether there is a street running
through it or not. After two or three Of
them had barely escaped being run over by
the teams that insisted in running through
our front yard, wife said she must rent a
house that hadn't any street in it, SO we
did. But lord the children don't make
any account Of it. They are in the street
as much AS ever. accumulating then daily
supply of narrow escapes.
Wife said the yard looked bare without
shrubs and flowers and vines. | limited
that a little grass would help it, too. She
asked me if knew where could get some,
and told her knew little grass widow
on the next street, if she would do. | re-
treated, followed by the rolling pin
One morning as | was going away, wife
asked me to bring her few ANIMALS"
when came back. wondered what she
wanted of ANIMALS as | rode down in the
street car, but | am accustomed to blind
obedience to her requests, 50 when | went
home at night bro sht her some ANIMALS
There were Z" DIR mes Annual Almanac,
! remember, ST. The Odd Fellows An
nual Offering, and New Years Ad-
dress for 1862, and the Z" Birth Day Gift, "
and numerous annual addresses before az
ncultural associations that had accumula-
ted on my hands.
Good gracious exclaimed Mrs. Bogys,
lahl IL. IL.
great eXcitement) what have you brought
me
ANIMALS, Mrs Boggs, said |. You
said you wanted some ANNALS, and here
they are"
Then Mrs Boggs burst out laughing and
cried, Why you old fool you 1--WE have
been married twenty years, but Mrs. B.
calls me pet names yeti, the ANIMALS
meant are flowers, such as verbenas, pan
sizes, daises, morning glories, migonette
and the like, to set out in our front yard.
Then she took all the ANIMALS had been
at 50 much pains to collect and set them
out in the back yard among other rubbish.
The next morning she asked me if
thought could get her some roses for the
front yard. Told her | knew a man who
had got lot Of early rose potatoes, but it
wasn't the right time Of year for setting
them out. Il have an idea, that ground is
much better employed in raising potato
than in raising flower, unless it be bar
rel Of four. Mne said hadn't a bit uf
taste. She then gave me a momranda Of
roses she wanted. l was busy all day, but
just a. | was about taking a car for home,
thought Of the roses. | referred to the
memoranda, and found the following
"Get few geraniums, fuchsias, hello
trope, roses, bourbon, running rose,
Prairie Queen, golden tea plant, vines,
English Ivy, Wandering jew, seeds, etc I"
l studied it hard, but it was slightly III
COMPREHENSIVE She had evidently got
things mixed up. However, went to a
florists and told him what wanted Said
-" Give me few geraniums and few
she's, and -
"A few what r. asked the flower man,
looking puzzled.
A few she's, said ], turning very red,
| know, for couldn't tell for the life of
me what my wife wanted Of few she y
about the place, as she never could live in
the same house with another woman.
As the florist looked more staggered than
cN6E, L nhhlucu blA6 luclAOEhAluA. Nutn
he burst into a loud laugh.
Why, man" he cried, ii it's f,schsias
she wants - and then he roared again.
Well, whatever it is give me couple
Of yards Of it, anyhow, front and back
yard too"
You see l was mad
got the things the memoranda seemed
to call for At various places, and vent
home. Here, Mrs. Boggs, said testi-
ly, are the things for your front yard r
Why, what is this ii she cried, as
thrust a twO-gAllon jug upon her among
other things.
" Bourbon, my dear. found it on the
memoranda Pretty thing to set out in
the front yard. though. How long do you
s'pose it'll stay there with the neighbOrs
we've got r
Boggs, you are an infernal-; that
memorandum was Bourbon Rose But
what is this nasty little book r. holding N
dime novel with highly colored title
page representing gorgeous squaw ON q
fiery and untamed mustang.
THAT Why you ordered it didn't
yoIl That is Running Rose; Or tn,
Prairie Queen, one Of the Beadles, yor
know"
My wife carried it at arms length anC
threw it into the stove. Then she took tn,
jug Of bourbon and emptied it into tn,
gutter. While she was gone cOncealeC
Alexander Dumas Wandering jew,
which had also purchased, for began {.
rec that i had made n terrible blundel
in filing that order. Il have ascertaines
since that Wandering Jew" 10 the nAm'
Of vine, but how was | expected Il
know D-Fat Cont ib~tor's Saturday Night