Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-05-09
Varieties.
Poor GAS" A burning shame"
SPELL-BoUND-Ca C aildren at school.

THE compositor's grievance-Out of
1THE elephant lives 200 years"-Er.
If you don't believe it, buy one and see
for yourself q Ni-4 aii's-' As''--
: THAT Vermont girl who splits cord
of wood daily, will be wood by a raft of
fellows when she grows up,
A PEN-PoRTRA1T in an Indianapolis
paper of Godlove Orth says /" he uses
deal of hair-dye.n Well, don't whom
Godlove die young?
A GERMAN lately married says: % Id
vas youst SO easy as needle Good walk
out NIT camel's eye as to get der be-
hindt yord NIT q Yoomans.p DRE
THERE was a little maid. sszs
" hen the neighbors' hens had laid
Their eggs in her fathers garden, e
She used to sell them. SO
ls1-a She bought some calico IL Il f5f
And made herself bowling Dolly Varden.
THE building for women students at
Cornell University will be commenced
this year, and is to cost about $l50,00O,
with gift of 100000 besides.
Women will probably be admitted next
September.
A SIMPLE mode of avoiding the spread
of smallpox has been discovered In Ala
bama. They let the patient die safely
by himself, hire negro. to bury him,
and shoot the negro as soon as thesin
terment is finished 4.,r4s.g-,e.s q
WALTER, a fye-year old, was surprised
at breakfast by the presence of q
diIninutive egg, served for his special
delectation. He thus accounted for the
eggs smallness: /" Mamma, ] think the
chicken was learning to lay" '5sry
A STRANGER, meeting a man in the
streets of Boston, a few days since,
oughly accosted him with, " Here, /
want to go to the fremont House !"
The deliberate reply was Well, you
can go if you won't be gone Ions"
A LADY was once reading to little
boy aged seven the story of the Jeeur-
rection of Lazarus. Seeing a peculiar
expression on his countenance when the
condition of Lazarus's body was men
toned, she sought to divert his at
tention from the circumstance by asking
! him what he supposed the disciples did
when he grave was opened 2 (" Dunno"
said he, az s'pose they held their noses"
A CHAPTER of !" Notes in Rome" in an
English magazine, opens with the fol-
lowing anecdote: "s Did you visit Rome
in YOUR travels?' asked gentleman in
the interval of a waltz, of his partner
who had Just returned from doing the
continent of Europe. Rome7 Romer
replied the young lady, in hesitating
voice tlet me see. Did we go to
Rome? o yes. That is where we saw
a woman shaving dog on the steps OF
| church."
A LADY was asked by her Biddy about
the nature of the next world, and
whether it would be just like this. The
lady being blessed with a happy family
of eleven children, has a skeleton in the
house in the shape of a stocking basket
/ that never gets empty, and at whose
| side che has spent many a weary mid
night hour in darning. With this
spectre before her eyes she replied to
| the girl playfully: I" don't think we
shall be required to darn stockings after
| midnight. ~ "Sure and that's thrue for
YOU, mum, for all the pictures of angels
| I have ever seen were barefutted"
Fraudulent Pensions.
1t is estimated that vast number OF
claims for pensions growing out of the
rebellion, probably one-fourth, are fraud
uIent. A plan has been proposed to the
Commissioner of Pensions, and to the
| Congressional Committee on Pensions,
l DIV WHICH, b1C byobCA44 Va -
destroyed, and which would lead to a
detection of fraudulent claims hereto
fore granted. 1t is to publish in each
county alphabetical lists of all persons
to whom pensions have been or shall be
granted, giving the residence, DC, o.
each person pensioned, and to furnish
copy thereof to each Federal ano
State officer of the county. This, it il
believed, would result in saving millions
of dollars annually to the Government
and in bringing to punishment all con
cerned in the frauds, and would enabl.
the Commissioner of Pensions to mod
Eify the requirements of his Office so a
to render it possible for all honest claim
ants to comply with them. -
A DISPATCH from DIR, Peters, of Litch
field observatory, Hamilton college, an
, nounces the discovery by him of anothe
! planet at o'clock on Wednesda;
, morning. 1t was in IL hours, Sc min
) utes, SO seconds of right ascension, an
} 4 degrees, As minutes south declipatiou
, with retrograde motion of SO second
{ toward the north, minutes per day
= 1t is star between the 1lth and 1T
magnitude, setaE'