The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-06-29
Our Oldest Inhabitants-I'wo OF
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BY JOSH BILLINGS.

| doilOw. Raccoon CO., State ov Iowa.
Ho IL q, 1876 years old, aud kan read
fine print by moon light 33 feet oph.
He remembers Gen Washington fust
rate, aud once lent him 1 } dollars teu
buy pair ov knff skin boots with.
He fit in the retolushun, also in the
war ov 1872, likewise in the laro melee
and seq he won't take sass now from
emmy man living.
He is hard shell baptiss by religion
and sez he will die for his religion.
He was konverted $50 years ago, and
thinks the hard-shell il the tuffest re-
ligion thare il fo, every day wear He
sez that one hard shall Laptiss ken do
more hard work ON the same vittles DUR
ing Il hot Gay than ten episkopalities.
He haz always used plug tobako from
i child, aud sez he lcrnt how to cheu
hi watching a COW chen her end.
/ He haz never drunk emmy intoxi
kating Ticker but whiskcy, and seq that
no other lioker is healthy. He thinks
3 horns Il day is enuff for health.
He haz alwus voted the dimokratik
ticsct for the last 10 years, aud
walked, last fall in sloppy weather, Is
miles to vote for Jim Buchanan.
He haint never seen rale road yet,
nor wimmin's right convenshun.
His greatest desire, he tells me- liz
teu see Gen. Jackson, and sez that he
shall 60 next year down tcu Tennessee
teu see him.
lie fatted u hog last year, with his
own hands, that well he'd 636 pounds
after it was drrst and well dried out.
He is very cheerful, aud seq he won Z
dollars on the weight ov this bng, out
oy one ov the deak ms ov the hard she II
church. lie declares this teu be one ov
the proudcst acksdents ov his life, Tor
the deakon was known far aud near as
Il tito kuss.
He tells me that for 80 years he haz
went teu bed ut just II minutes after 8.
and has arozeu at precisely O'Clock the
next day.
The iust thing he does in the morn
ing liz teu take shori drink, about >
inches, and then fur an hour before
breakfast he reads the amanux IL
,ciU here sta G ha 1t IL "Josh BiVing.'
Farmers Ain,unar' Mat lie reads
asked him hiz opinyun ov giu aud
milk az a fertilizer. He pronounced it
bogus, AID sed that the good old hard
shell drink, whiskey unadorned wuz the
orly speerlis that never wen, bAk on IL
man.
Hiz habits are simple. For break
last he generally cite four slices Wv salt
pork, ) billed pertat"ze topze and all, a
couple ov sassngis, 5 bot blskitS, duzcn
h,rd boiled eggs, 3 kups OF rhye coffee
"a snail plate ov slapj.x, sum phew
pickles and cold cabbage and vinegar,
if thare waz emmy left from yesterday 5
dinner.
His dinner waz little one, and he
seldom ct ennything but some billed
mutton, sum horned beef sum kOld ham,
and sum injun puddin teu sop oph with
lliz suppers were mere nothing, and
konsisted simply ov kold horned beef,
knld hiied mutton and once in a great
while, phew slices ov kold ham, with
mustard and hoss reddish
L examined hiz head and found that
he had all the usual bumps in u remark
able state ov preservashuu.
He haz good ear for music, and
whisselled me Yankee duodlc, with
variashuns.
le was born shoemaker, but hasn't
dun cnnything at the trade for the last
l25 years. He enjoys she best ov
health, but just now he il tcelhing,
which he tells me IL hiz 9TH sett.
On the subjekt ov marriage hiz he'd
seems to be on ded level He scd
that he had been married Is times,
and proposed ugaiu teu Hannah Camp.
bell, lady in the pcighborhood, W ho
was % years old.
[ asked him what he thought hiz
chances were for obtaining the lady's
hand anu he sed lit lays between him
and one Theodor Whitney, travelling
korn DOCTOR" and added If Whitney
don't. looh out will-eplargc his head
for him"
Upon mi asking him what he attr-
butcd his immense life and vigor to, h.
sed, in a clear and dlsrinkt voice
"To 3 small horns oy whiskev n dau