The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-11-01
scIssORIyGs.
Time il money, except the time OF

Time is money, except the time OF
need.
Young ladies had better be fast
asleep than fast awake.
Honey-bees are winged ner.
chsnts-they cell their honey.
Getting into grain corner--is
the latest phrase for getting corned.
"You are tired of my company, I
presume, said he somewhat offend
ed.
Can man who attends to the
street lamp. DO called a light char
acter?
Railroad has three gauges: a
broad gauge. narrow gauge, and
Gortgags.
Fashionable young ladies. like
letters, require stamps, or the males
reject them.
Why does B precede G in the
alphabet? Because you must be be.
fore you can see.
Wy is d good wife like the devil7
Because she sews the tares whilst the
husbandnan is asleep.
Cattle are dumb beasts, but by
gathering themselves together, they
can make themselves herd.
Brown says wedding-rings ought
TO be rechristened suffer-ings. He
has been married five years.
A bride Of six months, finding herself
alone one evening with her spouse,
was attacked with a severe fit of
yawning.
A young man, having married an
heiress, said it was not the face of
his wife that struck him, so much as
her figure.
Mice harm the cheese, but girls
charm the he's. The same is true of
their respective eating OF cheese and
cheating of he's.
Not at all, my DEAR" she replied,
"but you and | are now but one, and
to say the truth, / always get stupid
when l am alone"
Josh Billings says: "Success
don't konsist in never making blum
ders, but in never making the same
one the second time"
When a couple of young people
strongly devoted to each other, COM
mence to eat onions, it Is safe to
pronounce them engaged.
a man that married q widow is
bound to give up smoking and chew
ing. If she gives up her weeds for
him, he should give up the weed for
her.
A lover writing to his sweetheart.
says: "Delectable dear-You are
so sweet that honey would blush In
in your presence, and molassss
stand appalled,"
The following consratulatory tele-
gram was lately received by a we'd
ding pair:-"Congratulations on your
nuptuals. May your future troubles
be only little ones"
Among the curiosities lately dis
covered is a musquito's bladder, con-
tanning the souls of twenty four mis-
ers, and the fortunes of twelve prin-
ters-nearly half full.
Of q misery man who died of sof-
tening of the brain, a local paper
said: His head gave way, but his
hand hever did. His brain softensd,
but his heart couldn't"
A cautious old bachelor, who Is
aware that the present is leap year,
says: IF YOU melt young lady
who is not very shy you had better
be little shy yourself. f.''
A proud father in England lately
explained to school-teacher as fol-
lows: "What accounts for my SON
being such bad scholar is that he's
my son by my wife's first husband"
Beautiful is the love, and sweet is
the kiss of sister; but when you
haven't q sister handy, try cous-
in-or any other lady if she's young
and pretty-tisn't much differences.
"Steel your heart" said o cousid-
crate father to his son, ''for you are
now going among some fascinating
girls" 81 had much rather steal
theirs, said the unpromising young
man.