The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-09-07
Mr. and Mrs. Mari Twain's Diff
''a '@S +f'nzs Guilty. Nae.

'~ '@S @5'''e Guilty. Hae
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Gas REPORTED sRk NH, NJ. T9
sesa nse leas --ss fa34- ..a,.
4urs. r. oouya, pa;sly roller sha,cs-
Mr.. T objected @ Nrs. T.appearing
at the Rink in rollek. skates---4 scene.
MI. T.-Hold yonA olalter. 1 tell
you, you shaut briua odiu IN upon the
family BY your dissrscefal attempts to
skate, sprawlipg arouhd with your big
feet like a cow ploughiag her way down
hill in slippery weather. GShows how I
Jaybe you wouldn't bs So handy about
displaying those feet tof yours if you
knew what occurred sshen I took your
shoes down TO ges 'em slended.
Mrs. T.-What was it? Tell me
| what it was2 Tell esthis. minute! 7
just know it's one of ySur lies
MIR. T.-oh, DondFmind it amt of
any consequences, gosteSbed. a
Mrs. T.-But it is of consequence.
You have got to tell me; you shan,
aggravatc me in this~ay; won't go to
bed till l know what isjvas.
Mr.-Oh it wasn't any tn ing.
Mrs. MI s<Soetser.. Yan're
just doing this to ,lkive me to distrac.
ton. What did tha. shoemaker saw
about my shoes What did he do +?
Quick [lsustling up to him with
clenched hards.
Mr.. T.-WeN, if you must know,
he-he-howcver. it is ofno conseo uencc.
Mrs. T.-Mr Twain (Shakiug her
fist in his face. a.
Mr.. T.-Well, took i: and gazed on
it long time in silence, and then burst
into tears {SIrows how
Mrs. T.-Why, you born fool Twain.
are you going stark, staring crazy?
MIR. Tie just stood he-s AID wept
as if his heart would brake, poor devil!
There, now let's go to bed.
Mrs T.-Bed, you lunatic I'nnever
close my eyes till know wlrat that
idiot was crying about--and you won't
either, can tell you that. Come!
Mr. T.-Oh, it don't matter.
Mrs. Twain, if you say that agsin,
I'll make you sorry for it. Wha, was
that mum skull crying about
Mr.. T.-W-e-l |, he, he
Mrs. T.-W-o.l.l, he. Out with it.
Do you want me to-to-Twain I'll
snatch them pct ear.locks off ill the
side OF your heads as bald as the top of
my hand.
Mr.. T.-Wcll, he-poor fellow, he
fairly do'ed on his grand mother fairly
dotted on her. She had nurseG him.
you know, because his mother was so
feeble, and so.-well, ho came to this
country fifteen years ago, and first he
set up in the vegetable line, aud got
along pretty we'll, and was about to
- 70 i1"Sia"u irr the ola lady, when
hard times came and he got broke. He
went iato fruit then, aud after that into
milk-into all sorts of things, you know;
but he got disappointed every time, till
this present business GscSed hfta out
all right, and he sent right of f,r the
old wom She landed here four
weeks ago, but died the same night. 1t
was hard ntser all his waiting and toll.
ing for fifteen years, TO get hep over at
last and have her die on his hands. He
he we'll, he was disguised. How
ever lie laid her out, and he and his
friends sat up with her, and by and by
the memories Of her virtues softened his
bitterness and; TUNED it into tender
griei-a settled melancholy that hum
about his spirit like pail for many
days; However, by patiently striving
to keep sad thoughts out of his mind he
was finally beginning to regain some of
old.time -chterfuiuess, when your shoe
reminded him so painfully Of his poor
sainted grandmother coffin.
Mrs. THAT, you brute (Slaps
his face.) And if you dare to come
back here again I'll kick you out again,