The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-08-14

VI udiIleu people, Salu, 'OdJ ar
'pends altogedder how dey enjoys
themselves"
Josh Billings saws: "When YOU
strike lie, stop borin' menny man
haz bored clean thru aad let it run
out at the bottom"
A man in Richmond, Va; has worn
the same pair of linen trousers forty
nine summers. They are just in style
this year.
A vicious horse in Michigan lately
kicked his masters jaw off and knock
ed his teeth down his throat, choking
him to death.
A North Carolina girl, though per-
fectly blind, threads needle, weaves
nice cloth, and does other things as
we'll as many persons who can see.
A California lady was made insane
by tight lacing, and several California
gentlemen have been made crazy by
being otherwise tight.
1t is said that the highest salary paid
to II female teacher in this country is
paid to Miss Anna G. Bracket, of the
st. Louis Normal School. 1t is $2S,-
900.
Among the engines of civilization
for the determination of the aborigines
may be cited baseball club which
the Choctaw Indians have got up
among themselves.
The following new definition is sug.
gested for the forthcoming edition of
Webster's Unabridged Tomahawk-
An agricultural implement chiefly
used for hair raising.
A young man of convivial habits
has discovered one good thing about a
sea voyage. You can get as tight as
you please every day, and everybody
thinks you're only sea-sck.
Spinks is not going to do any moro
in conundrums. He asked his wife
why he was like a donkey, and she
said because he was born so. He says
that the answer is very different from
that.
A contemporary announces that a
young, pretty and wealthy Omaha
widow, who had lost three husbands,
took advantage of leap year by spirit
ual direction; proposed to the fourth
and has now married him.
The Countess de Blanchberry, who
shouldered a musket and fought as a
common soldier at battle at Patey,
uear Orleans, in the last French war,
has been decorated with the Cross of
the Legion of Honor.
There was more exact scientific truth
than he could explain in the reply of
an Irish gardener to question: "Why
the evergreens have been blasted
throughout the country ?" "Shure,"
said he, "and they were burnt with the
could last winter %
"How is it, my dear, that you have
never kindled flame in the bosom of
manY' said an old lady to her pretty
niece, who was poriionless. "1he rea-
son, DEAR" replied the young lady, "is,
as you well know, that l am not a
good match"
A little four year old beset his moth
er to talk to him and say something
funny. Chow can II" she asked;
don't you see how busy am baking
these piesH" "Well, you might say,
Charley, won't you have pier That
would be funny for you"
A lady about to be absent from
home for week told her servant to
keep her gold fish nice and clean. On
the lady's return the fish were dead.
"Died in two days, marm." "But
what did you do to them ?" "Please,
marm, took 'em out and wiped 'em
clean and next day they died.
Local editing must be jolly in Salem,
Washington county, N. Y. The ed
itor of the Press recently received the
following delightful mssive: "Youm
iellers want to keep un fellers names
out of your paper else youm will get
your id snoot busted. This is bizzi-
ness"
A gentleman connected with a Bos-
ton bank as a clerk, recently robbed
the bank. They called him "iellow"
and other disreputable names ut first,
and some intimated that he was
thief, for they thought he had stolen
only few dollars. But it turns out
that he took $4,000, and is not thief
at all, but a detaulter.
A deacon who keeps q grocery
store having instructed his clerk, when
out of a desired article, to call the at
-ention of the customer to the next
best thing, was little astonished when
MS pastor called and enquired for new
nolasses, to hear the clerk say, "We
nave no new molasses, but we have
ome nice new rum"