The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1872-06-14
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
ard-ware-Old clothes.


Twisted hemp cures felons.
The cry of celestial hyPOcrites 3
Cant-on!
Relative beauty-A pretty cousin.
The first un-shade was an eclipse.
Scotland's brightest light-Burns.
A flash note-a peal of thunder.
Amovement in real estate-Earth-
quakes.
Labor in vain-Working in a coal
mine.
A doctors motto Patients and
long suffering.
Half pay officers are generally of
retiring dispositions.
Whv is the conductor of an orches-
ira Ike the electric telegraph? Be-
cause he beats time.
If a man loses his breath, he
shouldn't run for it-he will catch it
quicker by standing still
The tourists best motive for trav-
eling-a locomotive.
What is the difference between q
coat and baby? The one 1 1CeaT,
and the other l loGs.
What is that which works when it
plays and plays when it wOrks?-A
fountain.
WHY'S the milkman like Pharoah's
daughter?-Because he takes a little
profit out of the water.
Josh Billings says very truly.
You'd better not know so much,
than to know so many things that
amt so.
A young lady has brought a libel
uit against her mother, as the only
means to get a mOther-in-law.
How is it the rooster always keeps
his feathers SO smooth?-Because he
ALWAYS carries his comb with him.
What physician stands at the top
of his profession-That gentleman
who attends patients on q monu-
ment."
A lady sent back book because
the leaves were uncut. She thought
it was an unfinished copy.
Formerly we treated those with
whom we differed in theology to a
hot stake, now we only offer them a
cold shoulder.
Modern young ladies are not the
daughters of Shem and Ham, but the
daughters of Hem and Sham.
Whatever God has made is perfect,
said a western preacher. What do
YOU think of me? said hunchback,
rising and exhibiting his own defor-
nifty. Why, that you are as perfect
a hunchback as l ever saw.
A witness under cross examination,
who had been tortured by lawyer
for several hours, at last asked for
glass of water. There, said the Judge,
/ think you'd better let that witness
90 now, you have pumped him dry.
A Judge in remanding a criminal,
called him a scoundreL. The priso-
ner replied, Sir, 1 am not as big
scoundrel as your honOr-bere the
culprit stopped, but finally added
takes me to be. Put your words
closer together, said the Judge.
The Cleveland Le006f says Gnab
sstwenty-fve cent diamonds are be-
coming so plenty among railroad
brakemen that they are compelled
te wear a piece of carpet over their
shirt bosoms after dark to avoid Civ
ing lantern signals when moving
about at stopping places"
A Chicago widow, Of boarding
house education, acquired no less
than $4,000 Of the relief funds by
appearing under various guises and
having several different places of
abode. She had gathered seven
stoves IN one locality, and in another
an immense number Of blankets.
This is a Germans account Of his
experience on shipboard in a storm;
'I feels dem big waves hit her ship,
l hear dem crockery disher go smash,
I get me out Of mine berth to see
what's de matter; make myself on
nv head two times; I gets in my
berth quick, you bet; no get mp till
now! What yOl do? How you like
EN-; ba?"