Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1872-05-23

rose And have my private opinio
that Joe also had, by this time, &c
into way when alone, of walkin
through gates, when possible, rathe
than vaulting over them. On the pres
ent occasion, however, the associatio
OF ideas, I suppose, was too strong fo
him for he put his hand carelessiy o
the gate, and-struck his knee heavil
against the top bar.
=" Foot slipped" explained Joe, an
again he went at the gate, with til
same lesult as before. A shade of Al
noyance crossed his face, as if it were
humiliation to have to take a run q
such . mere bagotele as five feet sia
He felt. however, that he had gone to
far to recede with honor, 10 he took
run, aud he again succeeded in banging
his knee. The saddening conviction
now began to dawn on poor Joe's min,
that he could not get over the gate a
all. The truth was horrible, but ire
sistible, and the moan of the fallen atll
lete was as touching as Woolsey's Ia
ment to Cromwell, "Oh hang it
} Tom," he said with mournful shak,
of the head, this is too sickening! Thi.
is the approach of the sere and yellow
with vengeance. I give you my wore
I once got over six foot seven at Macs
And now I have to sneak over five foo'
six like girl in petticoats No offence
meant to you, you know, because you
were never strong. But to slip through
ones six ages into the sippered pan
taloon by thirty-five! But it's all
those confounded gymnastics"
"Confounded gymnastics" and
from those lips! Icould not believe
my ears. No: The Pope might deny
his own iufalibiiity, and Bass might
advocate q Maine liquor law, but Joe
Rullock, the mighty symnasiarcl, the
hero of hundred "grinls," the un-
wearied hunter of the palestra, could
never give the lie to his whole past life.
and deny his own gymnastics.
"Come joe" I gaid. aootbinolv
you're riled, old fellow. You must
be chatting about the gymnastics"
~ tell you,' ne repeated, with
solemn emphasis, "It's those cursed
gymnastics. They bring you into an
unnatural state of training and mus
cular development, and the conse-
quence is, that you break down twice
as early as other men. Look at me; at
five and twenty I was Il sort of Mo:
at five and thirty am a wreck
It was no use trying to argue Joe out
OF his position; beside, I had no wind
to spare for talk, as it was all I could
do to keep up with this poor wreck,
stridirg along at five miles an hour
But, not being wreck myself, 7 soon
began to exhibit symptoms of distress
at this rapid pace, vhereon Joe
graciously proposed that we should sit
on gate and chat. Being anxious to
divert him, if possible, from the un-
happy train of reflection in which he
was evidently indulging, I started a
hobby that I hoped he would deign to
ride: "Made any long scores lately,
Joe2" I Inquired.
What at Z" snapped Joe.
Why, cricket, Of course"
Cricket Do you think man can
make score with pot like mine 2-
No sir, I'm too feshy for that sort of
thing too fat, sir. Do you know that
weigh fourteen stone seven2 And
what have I to blame for it Those in
fernal gymnastics. They put on great
Jumps of muscle at high pressure,
which, directly you return to natural,
normal life, turn to fat"
tried to assure the poor fellow that
his case, as yet, was by no means de-
sperate-that he was far from q Bant-
ing, but he would not be comforted.
IL tell you l ought to know best,
Tom. 1t has been coming upon me
some time, now. I had long had some
uneasy suspicious ON the subject, but I
was brought up sharp about two years
ago. was taking team to play the
opening match of the sarson with the
Stalkshire Hedgehogs. Well sir, when
l came to put on my bags, I found I
had precious hard work to draw them
on, my thighs seemed to be in tights,
and the buttons altogether refused to
meet. At first I thought they had
shrunk in the wash, or possibly T had
got q pair of my brothers in a mistake.
Rut when tried another pair I found
it was still the same, and then I realiz-
ed the stern fact that was growing O
pot. Since then I have seldom played,
except with our own fellows. and I
shall give it up altogether next season.
This failure of nay best-meant efforts
dlsmawed me excessively, for I.saw that
had to deal with a perfect hypoc-
hondriac on the subject of muscular
atrophy. He persisted in regarding
himself as a shattered athlete, and was
perpetually s. facing the informal facts, -
as he phrased it. The slightest thing
set him off he would 60 off on the
very faintest scent. For instance, when
his oldest boy, as fine a lad of eight
years old as ever man called on, was
brought in after dinner, I stumbled on
the unlucky remark that he was a per-
feet little athlete" Joe was down on
me like knife.
Don't talk like fool, Tom. Do you
want to vitiate the poor little fellows
mind already2 I once caught that boy
playing with dumb-bell, and I gave
him n good licking for it. And If
ever," he continued, sternly fixing the
boy with his eye, "I catch Joe on the
bars, or playing the tomfool in any
such way, I'll skin him! Remembe
that Joe, for I mean it. Gymnastics
have caused your poor father misery
enough, without wrecking the happi-
ness OF his son. am no heather to
sacrifice to Moloch."
"Comc, Joe," 1 said; "you seem
uncommonly bitter against your old
love. But be trifie more explicit lei
us hear the whole of your impeach
ment of gymnastics. You seem to be
as violent now in your denunciation.
of them, as you were formerly unreason
able in your devotion to them. Com.
now what harm have they done tt
youa'
"Well, in the first place." grnntet
Joe, "they have broken my wind"
thought OF the five miles an hour bn
was silent. "At the slightest exer:ion
or quickening of the pace, begin t.
blow like grampus. tried to get VI
Mount Blanc lost year; had to give i
up at the the Grande Mulets. eff q,
in for swimming, kuock up after hal
q mile"
"Well, but even if that is 80, how i
it due to gymnastics 2"
iii tell you. Tn the first place, a
/ said before, they put on muscle that
with the least inaction becomes fat.-
But, besides this, only consider wha
f0olerics we go in for when We are Mt it
We get INTO perfect latllcr of pcrspira