Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-09-29
wIsE Avn OTHERWEsE.

A ladY's mplecati0n-lace me tight.
Wine has drowned more than the sea.
Sign for obacconist-Quid pro quo.
Wrong is but falsehood put in practice.
A single scull race-career of self-made
man.
Can the last Of a ship be called its hull
timatum?
The happy medium-gentleman between
two ladies. ~.
Odd again-it was the first pair that ate
the first apple.
If thy conscience smite thee once, it is
an admonition; If it smite thee twice, it is
condemnation. ~.
The bed to be avoided, next to an onion
bed, is probably the bed of the river-un-
less one is partial to sheets Of water.
Mice harm the cheese, but girls charm
the he's. The same is true of their respec-
tive eating Of cheese and cheating of
| he's.
A clergyman, occasionally troubled with
| ldpsuS linguOe, called modern young Lad les,
the other Sunday, the daughters of Hem
and Sham"
Oh, kittens, in our hours of ease-uncer-
tain toys and full of feas; when pain and
anguish hangs DER men, we turn you into
sausage then.
An exchange says: "There is a farmer
in this country who, years ago, when
boy, blackened boots in Chicago for living.
He is now worth $3.50, and owns three
dogs"
81 am speaking" said a long-winded
orator, ''for the benefit of posterity." reyes"
said one of his hearers, sand if you keep on
much longer your audience will be
here"
A model bill, made out by an old farmer
against his neighbor, reads as follows;
"Neighbor A, DR.. to 3 to horse and wagon,
goin' to mill, once since and twice before,
| one dollar" ...
Two undertakers meeting the other day,
one of them remarked on the vast increase
Of mortality. "Well," replied the othe
"you're luckier than l, for have not buri-
ed a living soul for three weeks
There is no funeral so sad to follow as
the funeral of our own youth which We
have been pampering with fond desires,
ambitious hopes, and all the bright berries
that hang in poisonous clusters over the
path of life.
a philosopbicslly inclined journal OBJ
serves: "Genius makes its observations in
shorthand; talent writes them out at
length" 1t strikes Us that's why so many of
the observations Of genius are quite Unin-
telllgible to most people. -
A little girl, daugh er Of a clergyman, be-
ing left one day to ''tend door" and obey
ing summons of the bell, she found gen.
tleman on the steps who wished to sec her
father. "Father isn't H." said she, "but
if its anything about your soul can at
tend to you. l know the whole plan Of
salvation"
a 'joke" is creditedto an American visi-
tor in England. 'Wall, stranger he is re-
ported to have said, 81 guess you English
juries amt smart, nohoW. If an Ameri-
can jury had tried the Tichborne case,
I'll tell you what they'd have done; they'd
just bought up all the Tichborne bonds,
and then found a verdict for the plain
tiff" .
Pending the occurrence of q threatened
earthquake, South American paterfamilias
sent his boys TO stay with friend beyond
the limits of the fated section. The con-
vulsion did not turn up when due, but
the youngsters remained in their place oil
safety till the following note from the host
procured their recall: "Dear P.-Send the
earthquake along here, and take home
your boys
a scientific contemporary assures tbs
public that "the Royal Geographical so
ciety are taking steps to press upon the gov
eminent the Importance of an expedition
to the North Pole by way of Smiths
Sound" That's a good advertisement
for Smith, but if we were the society We
, would swop the steps for good lonG
, ladder that would reach TO the top of the
Pole and let Smith Sound his owl
. trumnat