The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1872-07-04
HUMOROUS.


Drop me limo, as the drowning m"n
said to the man on deck.
Sweeteuing ones collee Is generally
| the first stirring event OF the day.
Smiggles says that his idea of gam
elevator is realized in rye whisky
Lawyers are like ivy; because the
greater the ruin, the closer they cling
Why is the carpenter the most regular
in his habits? Because he lives by rl'le'
A month before marriage and IL moh'h
after death ricu regard their wives "'
angels.
The lobster is u posthumous work OF
creation, for it is only read after ITS
death.
Never take off flannel because it looks
like spring. Flannel never looked Ike
spring.
Punch calls the victims of the South
hampton railroad accidents, broken
English.
Dan Rice has bccn sold out by the
! shor;T He is now considered broken
Il "tumblcr.'
v "Though lost to sight, to mc'n,N
l. dcor" ns the man said when he paid his
y dinner bill.
L When youugstor goes to sea to so"
ls his wild oats, can he he SAID TO cast HIS
N bread upon the waters?
II A Chinese newspaper has entered up
;. ON it's two thousandth volume. III has
u lost nearly all of its original subscribers
q What is MUD. No matter. What is
j. matter? Never mind. What Is the ma
turo of the soul? 1t is quite lmmatcrIai.
The people of Wyoming don't know
VI whether tU call their female Judge a JUS
~ w. ticcss of the peace or justice Oh 'ile
: poaccss.
osI Gentleman having Il musical sister
g and being asked what branch she eA-
ty colled in, said that the piano was her
Of forte.
IL There is man somewhere whose
ld memory is 50 short that 1t only reaches
nd to his knee, therefore he never pays Tor
lie his boots.
ld And now we are told that Delaware
Ws hen is the mother of twelve chickens
ne from nine eggs The owner OF the hen
III saws he cannot tell lie-she did 1t with
ne her little hatch-it.
y? Said IL Detroit lady to IL gentleman OF
lid that city, "You are not musician,
belieye?" mo-" said he; "if ! were
Ely the proprietor of hand organ, set eX-
at pressly to play odd Hundred, lcouldn
la get soventy-tiye out OF it,
81. "Hercs your invaders shouted a
he member of the 18th Mississippi regl-
to ment. as General Lees veteran army
OF nlungcd into the Potomac on its way To
IL Gettysburg. "And here's your wo',gl ,.,,
W. uns,h echoed gallant soldier ot the hui
' Alabama.
lca lIca "See here - exclaimed returned
Nv, Irish soldier to Il gaping crowd, as h'
zen exhibited with some pride hat with Il
W bullet hole in it. "Look at that hole,
or will Won? You see if it had been a tou
ihe crowned hat, should have been killed
Bnt outright
ore negro boy was driving mule II
Ion Jamaica, when the animal suuaehl,
the stopped and refused to budgcC. won
ved 90. ch?" said the boy. Feel grand
,eir do you? / s'pose you forget your ladder
'ere was iackass,'
ons "My son." said an aflectionate mothe
nts tn her son, who expected to be marritt
hat very soon, "you are getting very thih'
. of Eyes. mother, when | come the mex
!, or time you will be able to see my rt6.'
? to Mr.. NJ, Il gentleman having hors
lam that bolteL and broke his wife's neck,
the neighboring r, are told him he wiShe'
but to purchase 1t for his wife to ride
les, "No.r said the other, 81 will not sell
my 4 intend to marry again myself
nus A counsel had mimicked y.nesS,
hin who, as a north countryman, pr3yj hoou
,n,a @ the word "water" as if it I atbar .;r' ~
nnu WAITER" inquired of hiY ~uGtt ni,h twn ~,
adv his country tney spelled abut thry
'mco Is? "No," said the wits"
tan. @ spell manners with "
81 never go to S>is % Iady. "f a always
crcnt man to ain settling accounts. !"
long spend Sund4 her day that will be spent
! no "There Is Way, said the lady. "What
uei; in the s,H?" ascd the man. 1.-The day
:. vnau day iss6ent," was the solemn reply.
stra. u .eeley says that the best way to raise
yourl ,ly popcorn is to start it now. Put
ny ayhe corn-any kind will do--in corn
.ic1 Pepper, aid suspend it in the sun over
lat n pan OF water till the shoots grow ont
nv between the wires; then in the spring
I'll set out in pots or beds, and before
his julie tho popped corn will be hanging
al u little paper bags all over the branches.