The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-02-15
From Harper's Bazar.
Gail HamiltOn'S Views Of Married
Iffa

NL4AG CCAACtAN[ A4A u AaAAC al LAEAE OlA
* The Sweets Of Married Life can
not be too strongly emphasized:
" Perhaps if women had higher aims
in life chan those with which they
make shift to satisfy themselves,
they would not let themselves sink
to the level of this folly'-the folly
of losing the real happiness of mar
riage in a vain endeavor to retain
its unsubstantial romance.
"What higher aim," it may be
asked, can woman have than to
retain her husbands loveT' 1t
may seem a cold and insufficient
reply to say, ''TO retain his respeet." ="
But if women would give more heed
to his respect and less to his love
there would be fewer unsatisfactory
marriages. II is undeniable that
women have wonderful talent for
selfabncgation, and they do not al
ways exercise it with Judgment.
Where they love they delight to law
ish, and they do it often without
discrimination, to the final-it is
not too strong a word to say-dis-
gust of the object of their love. A
woman is very sincerely in love
with the man she marries, and she
knows nothing better to do than to
PROSTATE herself before him. She
gives herself wholly up to him.
She burns her ships behind her.
She leaves herself wholly without
resource. She rejoiccs, she exults,
in stalking the whole interest and
Happiness of her life on him. To
be sure, she is hardly to blame foT
it. She has been told ever since
she was born that she was an i5y,
and her mission is TO cling, and she
clings with 4 vengeance, till her oak
is simply tired to death of his $50
cial parasite" and, in his effort to
unwind her, leaves her broken and
trailing at his feet. It is the sad
dest thing in the world, for it is
Hopeless. It is the inevitable de
velopment of nature. The oak ear
no more help wearying of her than
he can help being an oak; and Tho
ivy can no more have life in her
self, because she suffers for tho
want OF it, than she can add ten Gu
bits to her statue. The ones to b'
blamed are those who zealously in
culcate upon her during all he
forming years the duty of being ;
sappy cellular tissue, and then sud
denly demand of her the resolut
endurance that comes only of wood.
fibre.
The position which wives assume
or into which they permit them
selves to be placed, is sufficient,
humiliating. Many a girl wh'
would lose her right hand rathe
than betray herself into too warn
or a too pronounced expression o
her love, is transformed by marriag
into an unblushing and unrescrvc,
wooer. But what has changed he
social status? are all these thing
merely conventional? Is it fash
ion and custom only which hav
| decreed the cone PIrsuing, the Othe
pursuedr' If so, then it is wei
enough that with the pronunciation
of a certain formula all shOul,
change. But if the present arrange
ment is founded on nature, if tn
woman is silent because she canno
speak, because an instinct o
modesty, deep as life, forbids her t.
be the aggressor- in this holy wal
how can she belle ner nature and de
| fy her instinct after marriage? /
is unworthy ofmaid and matron t.
be a suitor for love, and it is use
| less, too, for love never comes tina
way. The very security which
man feels in his wife's love, an,
which is alleged rs his reason 70
not being more careful TO expires
his own, may be fatal to both. 4
wife ought not to let her HUSBAND
! feel so secure Of her love rs that
/ She shO1ld be 80 noble, 50 aspiring
so growing a person that marriage
50 far from giving him inalienabl
| possession Of her, should only Civ
him vantage ground for obtainin.
| possession of her. 1t is little tina
on her marriage day he stands frs
in her estimation. 1t is much tha
he has won a place SO near her, 81
| full of hopefullncss and tenderness
and all chivalrous opportunity
1 that if he viii, no human being
can ever displace him, lie oughr
| to feel secure Of her love against al
the blows OF circumstances, but moi
against all the developments o.
character. The only thing a man /.
sure of when he marrics his wife &,
her love. A thousand fold more
precious thing-the continuance
the deepening, the unfolding Of hel
loTe-lct him feel be is yet to win
But If neither her love nor herself
has any unfolding-if she just fun.
around him, q soft, smothering, IN.
organic sipidity, why, be likes
the softness and the smothering foi
a little while, and then he grows
terribly tired Of it. and careless OF
IL, and probably rough toward
| it: and thea the li.tle, silly
gelatinous mass quiYcrs with pain,
4 =