Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-12-03

Stir it as never you stirred it before
We learn to esteem him in fea ing to lose him
Bring the hot water. and steam him some more!
Ther+l He is better now; sponge off that
Harness him up again Get down the whip"
Ls:sscEa for HasHaos'5Sfs.
Two American sovereigns-Smo- Kiag aud
10 King.
What does man see in the Wild, wild waves?
Sea foam.
Al essay on Mana Woman's attempt to
marry him.
Impudeut boys besiege our miIkmen for ia
piece of chalk.
Ifa Bedouin should lose his teeth, would be
talk gum arabic?
No moose is good news. as the man said
when he was reprieved.
Why are elections like tents? Because the
canvass ends at the polls.
A blacksmith cannot on!y shoe horse him.
self, bu: he can make horse shoe.
This is the rock Of ages" said the father
after rocking two hours, and the baby still
awake.
A piscatorial party is what they call it now.
When We we're boy they called it going" a
fishing.
& boy went to. fire horse pistol and got
kicked about three yards lie has since gone
to doctoring it fer the epiZooiio.
Boston shop boys manifest becoming pride
did you see our store burn, Jo?' said enc Of
EN-; 'golly didn't it go bul!y?'
A Terre Haute girl exclaimed, when she saw
Thomas feline elevate bis back: "Oh
rnul0D' T. he make q lovely hustle p
SPHINX butcher says that his steaks can't be
beat. Mrs. Spinks says that she beats then,
half an hour and that is not enough.
''Mrs Toomuch where's your husband ?''-
Hes dying, marin, and | don't wish any ody
to disturb him. A very considerate woman
that!
Alliterative-Dr. Parr thus characterized a
deceased preate: Sir, he is poor. paiiry
preia'e, proud Of petty popularity, and per
pe!ua!ly preaching to petiicoats.
An editor says his ancestors have been in the
habit of living 100 years. His opponent re
spends by saying that that was before the in
troducton Of capital punishment
Feeling Remark" HAPPY ie the country
that has 30 history" as the schoolboy said Oh
being foeged fer he third time for not know
ing who was Henry the Sizth's wife.
Bricks can't understand Why so many gen
tieuan On the Slreef-cars are interested In the
architectural beauties of the building along he
street when the cars are full and a number OF
ladies' are standing.
The Rev. Robert Collyer respectfully wishes
that al whisky shops we're down Ia hell
chaired up in the bottomless pit far thousand
years and new chain ready for them at the
expiration Vi tina: tine.
A father l;ving IN Tituevil!e, who has two O,
three very couriabie girls, placed notice or
bis front door the other night, which read
SHUT down for thirty days. No stove in the
rarlor, and bu: one lamp.
''Put me IN my little bed, - il now render ed
thusly: "Pisce this wearied piece of aninat ed
clay IL Ghe gecs tao!e Constructed by mechani
cal genius, whegeln d-0wsy humanity may e:i-
joy tired natures sweet restUrer.
''Castile and Arragon," said Spicer, repeat
ing the words Of the guide who had pointed
out to him the armor Of the great prince OF
that name ia the arsenal at Naples; Yes, |
see the cast steel, but lot cry gun
Two Detroit sisters ran away and got mar
ried the other night. When they returned TO
pBcify their papa, they found the old gentle
man in such 4 state Of biiarity, at the removal
Of The burden Of their nlIiiners' bills, that the
neWly-made husbands became painfully sad.
A New York orator, Ia rhapsody about
Columbus, spoke Of him as "a diamond 10
oasis, who SCARED above all bis contemp oraries =
This deserves TO stend side by side with the
famous exclamation Of Sir Boyle Roache-"I
sseIi rat; [ see 1t Fl ,aling in the air. But
will nip IL IN the bud T.
4 poetieal exchange gets of The following:
''The bass-hoFn # The bullfrog has ceased to
blow, the stage-GriVeT sinks not in the mead
ows low, the katydid's hurdy -guFdy has ceased
to How, and tbs fre-fys lamp no more will
show the cricket how 20 tune his old barrie
Cause-wiateT IS coming.
L little girl was standing at depot to see
her father and gentleman friend Of, when
she suGdehlg observed to her father, referring
to his friend, WHO Was tall and lapk, If the
cars rua of the track, and any legs must be
What's that for" SAID the startled H
Because" she added, artlessly. Aunt Mary
says you have pair OF spare lego.
Nat NJ. vas queer genius. A neiehbor
found bin one day at york at al enormous
wood pipe, saving away for dear life, With an
intolerabIe dull saw. Why don you sharpen
the saw. Map asked the neigbhor Looking
~ with an inEnitahiy droll Expression. he re.
piled: i should think had enough to do to
saw up this wood-piie, without stopping to
sharpen saws
A young Briton lately lost q large sum BY
befiiog on spders He wagered that spider
which he would produce would cross plate
quicker than 2 spider 10 be produced by 8
friend. Each spider was to have its own plate
His opponents siId3E, however, On icing start
ed, would rot stir, whist lis rival ran Nth ia:-
mense speed. The bet vas consequently lost
and the loser found out the reason-his friend
had bot plate.
Il Connecticut paper tells about man who |
came home very late one uight from he lodge. |
His wife, who vas in bed, heard an unusual |
noise below, and going DOM, found her lord |
On his knees in front Of her beat set of furs -
lie had gun in his hard and look Of intenee
anxiety on his iece. The instant the door omen
ed he ezcitediy ezeiaimed 8h sh, cid VIC
map; don't scare en-" Scare what. Won old
fool :? murmured the wife. "Mo,hsl' he
hystericaliy whispered; II IA goin' for 'e,p. old
woman! The first moth which shows his head
out of them turs will get his lilabs shattered or
I'M