The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-08-09
PLAIN DEALER,


title of LII. d., recently conferred up
on Grant, means, "Lover Of Large
Donations.
The General who now occupies the
White House will, next November, be
reduced to the rank Of lieutenant.
Another of Grants supporters,
Samuel Bard, of Chattanooga, is de-
faulter to the tune Of S31, 900. Elect
Grant, and continue the populations on
the Treasury.
A gentleman who had been arguing
with an ignoramus until his patience
was exhausted, said he didn't wish him
dead, but he would be glad to see him
know more.
The Harpers, who are now so busy
caricaturing Mr.. Greeley, did the same
thing for Abraham Lincoln in 1860 !;
and the same results may be predicted
now as then. Honest Horace will prove
quite as impregnable to wood-cut war;
fare as "Honest Old Abe
Boutwell's visit to North Carolina
had one good cffect--it made the State
boutwell,. There are few completer
instances of bout-facing on record.
Sir Toby reports the case of good
little boy whose parents encouraged his
habit of early retiring by permitting
him to take cake to bed with him. One
evening he astonished his affectionate
mother by the following prayer:
"Now lay me down to sleep,
Ipray the Lord my soul to keep,
If / should die before wake,
Give sister Jane my piece of cake
Some of Grants henchmen pretend
to believe that if Greeley is elected
President it will be the financial ruin of
the country. This class of men are
continually being heard from. The
last one is Mr.. Collins, Pension Agent
at Washington, D. G. His defalcation
to the Government is ONLY one hun
dred thousand dollars.
Some of our radical friends are great
ly agitated to know whether Mr.. Gree
ley is Democrat or Republican candi-
date. The first thing for them to do is
to ascertain whether Grant can beat
him? This is the real point at issue.
Lrwyer-"How do you identify this
handkerchief? Witness-''By its gene
raj appearance, and the fact that l
have others like it." Lawyer-"That's
no proof, for l have one just like it in
my pocket" Witness--I don't doubt
that. I had one of the same sort stolen.
President Grant denies that he bet
on his own election. The Chicago
Tribune says that many of his sup
porters begin to evince shrewdness in
the same direction.
The Nashville Union and American,
is puzzled over ''peace" policy which
sends the soldiers "to the peaceful
South, and the Quaker to the murder
Gus Sioux, Apaches and kiowas. "
The bottom is knocked out Of the
Binghampton humbug, in reference to
Greeley's favoring the payment Of PEN
sions to rebel soldiers The man who
swore that it was true, now backs down
and admits that he swore to a lie
Next.
The unfortunate controversy which
Gen. Grant began with Carl Schurz
has ended in the discontinue of the
President. Mr.. Schurz being chal-
lenged to name the man who brought
him an offer Of patronage if he would
favor the San Domingo job, promptly
named General Alfred Pleasanton, and
he being appealed to, confirms the
statement. His testimony is conclusive
When holders refuse to pay
literally for election expenses, they are
marked as for Greeley, and that means
dismissal. This is Civil Service
Colonel Warner, Grant Elector in
1868, in Nebraska, has declared for
Greeley and Brown, and will enter the |
canvass for the Liberal ticket.
The New Orleans Times, announcing
that General Pillow is for Grant, says:
ave arc glad to hear this, as General
Grant will want a pillow when he is
put in his little bed next November"
The Radical press are happy in an
nouncing that the English press all
favor Grant. Is there anything in
this to cause surprise? The English press
ought to favor Grant. This country
will never have another President who
will double up, double back, and cat