Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-09-20
Vacations of a Front Yard.
BY BoGGs.

! We have recently moved into hous
that has front yard. We have Away
lived in houses whose front yard was tn
street. Children will play in the var
whether there is street running through i
or not. Altar two or three of them ha,
barely escaped being run over by the team
that insisted on running through our from
yard, wife said she must rent house tina
hadn't any street in it. So we did. Blu
lord the children didn't make any account
of it. They are in the street as much az
ever, accumulating their daily supply o
narrow escapes
Wife said the yard looked bare without
shrubs, and flowers. and vines. | hiuted
that a little grass would help it, too. She
asked me if | knew where could get some
and I tod her I knew little grass widow OF
the next street, if she would do. I retreated
followed by the rolling pin.
One morning as I was going away, wife
asked me to bring her a few "apnuss''
when | came back [ wondered what she
| wanted with ANIMALS as rode down tow
in tie street car, but / am accustomed to a
blind obedience TO her requests, so whom
went home at night brought her some an
nuals There were ''Dr. Jayne's Medical
Almanac" remember and the "Odd Eel
lows Annual Ofering,' and New Years
Address" for 1862, and the "Birth Day
Gift and numerous annual addresses before
agricultural associations that had accumula-
ted on my hands.
Good gracious exclaimed Mrs Boggs
{she never swears like that unless under
great ezctement;) ''what have you brough,
me %
"Annu4ls, Mrs. Boggs," said I. GU
said you wanted some ANIMALS, and here they
arc"
Then Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing and
cried, why, you old fool you 1--WE have
been married twenty years, but Mrs B.
calls me pet names yet, the ANNALS mean
are flowers, such as verbenas, pansies, dal-
sizes, morning glories, mignonette and the
like, to set out in our front yard Then
she took all the ANNALS had been at SO
much pains to collect and set them Gu. in
the back yard among other rubbish.
The next morning she asked me if l
thought I could get her SEINE roses for the
front yard Told her [ knew man who
had a lot of early rose potatoes, but it wasn't
the right time for setting them out, q have
an idea that the ground is much betsor en-
ployed in raising potato than in raising a
flower, unless it be barrel of four.l Wife
said l hadn t bit of taste She then gave
me memoranda Of roses she wanted [
was busy all day, but just as l was about
taking car for home thought of the roses.
| referred to the memoranda and found the
following
"Get few geraniuma, fuchias, haio-
trope, roses, bourbon, running rose, Peal
RE Queen, golden tea plant, vines, Eaglish
ivy, Wandering Jew, seeds, etc.
I stu lied it hard, but it Was slightly ia
comprehensive She had evidently s,t
things mixed up However. I went to a
florists and told him what wanted. Sid
I-.sGive me few geraniurns and 3 few
she's, and
"A few what ?" asked the flower man,
looking very puzzled.
ga few She's" said I, turning very red,
know, for [ couldn't tell for the life of me
what my wife wanted of a few she's about
the place, as she never could live in the same
house with another woman.
AS the florist looked more staggered than
ever, | handed him the memoranda. when
he bursted out in loud laugh.
"Why, man." he cried, "its tuchias she
wants p and then he reared again.
.Well, whatever it is, give me couple
of yards of it, anyhow, front and back yard,
too"
You see I was mad
I got the things the memoranda seem"d
to call for at various places, and went home.
"Here, Mrs Boggs," said I, testify,
care the things for your front yard
..Why, what is this 2" she CRIED as I
thrust two gallon jug upon her amoug
other things.
bourbon, my dear, found it on the
memoranda. Pretty thing to set out in the
front yard, though. How long do you
s'pogo it'll stay there with the neighbors
we've got?'
"Boggs, you are an internal -; that
memorandum was Bourbon Rose But
what is this nasty little book" holding up
dime novel, with highly colored title
page, representing a gorgeous squaw on
fiery and untamed mustang.
"That? Why you ordered it, didn't you :?
That is Running Rose; or the Prairie
Queen one Of Beadle's, you know"
My wife carried it OF arms length and
threw it into the stove Then she took the
Jug of Bourbon and emptied it into the back
gutter While she was gone I concealed
Alexander Dumas Wandering Jew which
I had also purchased, for I began to see that
had made a terrible blunder in filling that
order. Il have since ascertained that
Wandering Jew is the name of a vine, but
how was I expected to know all about it D.
Fat Contributors Saturday Night.