The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-02-13


a pet overcame her fault.
JENKINS IS PuRvEyoR-IS -CnIEF OF
SNoBDgRY. The wrctched jenkins prob
ably does not know Il grandec Of the blue
blood from florcntinc count at two
hundred franccscnne the coronet But
we do. he serves tho banquet for us
who can discriminate Would we read
of the boot-jack Of an honorable member
of Congress? Perish the thought But
of prince of imperial blood-ah now,
indeed, there is very different PROPOSE
tion Must the cpicure who seats him
self at supper of orIolans be for that
reason suspected of disposition to sup
upon cold pork =? Yet to John, the
waiter, it is tho same whether he taste
the one or the other. So it is with Jen.
kins. He will bring us pork or ortoans
as we direct. But we have directed him
that we will eat ortoans, and so we hear
that the Russian minister has his initials
upon the corners of his napkins. But
who cares for the corners of the napkins
of the Associate Justices of the Supreme
Court Of the United States?
Who is it that makes sport of that
faithful laborer, jenkins? Is it, by any
chance, the very one for whom be patient
ly labors2 Toad-stools spring from a
certain condition of the soil. They arc
symtomatic only. Mr. jenkins is sym
tom. He is symtom Of our disease
He is the advertisement that we are suf.
fering from snobbery. lie shows that We
are smtten with the desire to look into a
princes wardrobe, and to see him wash
his hands Let US laugh no more at j en-.
kins, but deride ourselves. How hearth
ly he must despise us How sincere mus
be the contempt OF the valet for the mas
ter whom hc stuffs and pads and polishe,
every morning! How genuine must bt
tho contempt Of Mr.. jenkins for public
that eagerly devours his description of 9
princes handkcrchicfs and stockings
And he knows, the crafty rogue that il
is he only who gives us social distinction
because it is be who prints our names il
the newspaper.
When We form ourselves into commit
tees, and offer dinners and balls to roya
hlghnessos, and struggle, and spend mon
ey, and undergo various agonics OF jeal
ousy and indignation because somebody
gets nearer to the grand ducal person
than we, OF what use would it all be ex
cept tor jenkins? We don't ieverenc,
grand dukes as such, still less 10 we car,
for them as representatives of a noble al
y or Great Bear of the North, but th,
august avatar gives us the opportunity o
showing that We belong to the select soci
ETY. to which grand dukes naturally grav
itate. We 90 to the ball. and we bean
and squeeze and make those wise remark
which characterize such occasions, SO tha
We may all see aud be seen By each 9th
er, and mutually certify, as it were, t
each others gentility. Bat all is reall,
useless except for Mr. jenkins. He j
the really important person, because it i
he who tells the story of our greatness t.
mankind
The pleasure Of its performances is it
publicity. The delight Of social cxcu
siveuess is not in the fact, but in the gen
, eral knowledge Of the fact There arc
it is understood, certain superlatively in
= circles Of society, but they are also, it i
reported, superatively stupid. Nobod
, enjoys them for thcmsevcs-lhat is t
say, they are not distinguished by wit o
briliancy, by knowledge or wisdom
neither the mind nor tho imagination i
especially gratlfcd by them the sol
pleasure is in having it known that W
, are admitted to them Mrs. Toad re
CARDS Mrs. Frog with gnawing envy be
. cause She knows better than any one no,
splendid and drcary the Bat dinners are
That is to say, it is the Importance re
hected upon her which is the secret {
D Mrs. Frogs satisfaction. But if ther
were no reflection OF that kind, she woul
certainly not spend money for silks an
laces and gloves and other ornamentt
= tions to endure three or four hours of tn
Bat platitudes as many times in the SET
= sou.
: Thus it is not to be of tho cream, br
1 to be known TO be of tho cream, which
n the high delight. And it is this sorvic
e which Mr.. jenkins performs We III
dergo the ball, in the first place, tbs
= Mrs. Grundy or private knowledge ma
be aware Of the fact from observation
>. and in the second place that tho wol
II may know it from tho newspaper. No
!, Mr.. jenkins il the newspaper F.; and viii
u he is the most essential no is tho mo
awkward to US of all the guests. ri
J. difficulty is that he is not present as OF
X Of as, lie has no blue blood in h
: veins lie is as likely to appear in
black cravat as in white / il incre,
C lble, but it is nevertheless possible, tn
3 be wil-in his own hideous phra-e--"p,
l. in an appearance" in lrock-cua Y
y while he is in this inlescribaAle Kind
j. parah, he must he ,ieateA ~ Brahmi
i Il he should be offended, il he should n
II get Champagne enough, or it the stew,
terrapin should give ont before he can
II to it, we should all be in an extreme
D. critical position The papers would d
nounce the ball IA horrible failure, al
IT all the managers as flunkies. There
Is no knowing that it would not be desert
10 cd as an Intentional afropt to the Gre
Bear, and that grave international col
ID plications, as jenkins calls them, mig
F. not follow. We must. therefore, tire
IN him as if he we're one of us, and see tn
n he has plenty of good eating and drn
lug, and that he is properly aud polite
s. addressed by the committee.-E -EDIToJ
EASY CHAIR, in Harper's Magazine I
1t February
In The sclf-made men Of Columbus s
g down to a telf.gloriiiDg banquet, t
& other night II did not include the @