The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-11-04
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM In ADVANCE
Nasty Discovers q Plot.

MIR. Nasby, in a recent letter from Chappa-
qua, thus tells the story of a signal service
rendered by him to the cause of his great
chief, Horace Greeley:
The tricks Nv the opposishun to the saint
ed Oreeley are too numerous to be kent track
Nv. In tne Old times at the Corners. when
ever we ned politikle meetn, Pollock and
Joe biglor he'd habit, Jest az / commenst
SpeaAlh' TO 10 start dog fite on the opposite
Soin n ,r, ihey Kept two savage dogs on pur-
pose. The first yelp NV Pcllock's waller loo
and every blasted demokrat present Vol
leave the house. 1t wood be emntied on
quick ez tho Bascom he'd advertised free
drinks. 'ee
| got an anonymous letter last week from
Moo York, developin similar plot wich he'd
been laid by the Republican committee. Inv
wich they hoped to carry that city-wich is
our stronghold plot wich for fiendish ne
fariousnis hez never bin exalted in the history
Nv politics in this or any other country.
The plot was simply this; The committy
Wuz to go to work and organize a gigantic
| series NV prize fits and rat killins in other
states, all to take place on the 9Th NV Novem-
Der, and all so far from Moo York ez to make
the departcher NV them wich shood wish to
participate in EN- necessary the day afore.
follows
John Morrissey and OBaldwin in Mary
land.
Tom Allen and Jem Mace in Virginia.
Pooley. Mace and the Irish in Sampson Cana
da.
Izzy Lazarus and young Chambers in Mary
land.
Patsey the Litter and Groggy Tim in Vir-
ginia.
Irish Ned and the Birmingham Masher in
Maryland. III
Teddy the Bruiser and the Dera,---"c ret
in Virginia.
The faI, OF twenty more matches between
mole noted pugilists, all in Maryland, Vir-
ginia and Canada.
This wood take out NV the city at least 20
900 NV the most reliable democrats, and
wood make at least 10000 difference in the
| vote, inasmuch ez the heft NV em vote twice
| on an average.
democratic voters of Moo York cannot afford
to go so far away. To keep these men and
swindle us out Nv their votes, they proposed
| to organize gigantic rat tournament on the
remotest pint NV Long Island,
to commence the day before elecl-
shun and contnoo till the day after.
They wuz to buy up the Boston coliseum and
sit it up there, and convert it into an enor-
nous rat pit-a pit on scale NV magnitood
sich ez the most enthusiastic, rat-fancier
| he'd never dreamed Nv in this widest drunk
| enness. It, wuz to be to the rat wat the Bos-
ton Jubilee wnz to the moosic. They wuz
to offer prizes Nv sufficient magnitood to in
doose owners NV dogs to carry EN- thar, and
they had purchased two hundred thousand
NV the biggest rats wich the city afforded,
that there might be no lack NV entertain
ment. They wuz to so arrange it that the
fites wood foller each other in rapid success
ion, so that every man OF EN- wood be held
entranced, and prevented from lcavin the
buildin. Long tables spread with sandwiches
wuz to be set free to all, and occasionally
barrel OF whiskey wuz to be tapped, all NV
wich wuz ID be free.
Wv course this plan, eff carried out, wood
take nine tenths NV the democracy out Nv
the city, and their votes ez well ez their SER
vices eZ repeaters, wood be lost to us. And
l wuz told that the money for buildin the
coliseum and to charter the steamboats, wuz
contributed cheerfully to the bizinis men of
the city. They did it ez measure NV econ
omy, calkerlatin that there would be a gain
NV all it wood cost in hevin all the thieves
absent three days, to say nothin NV the num-
ber witch wood probably be killed and wood
never return no more.
When read the letter to the great and
good Greeley he exploded into fit NV pro-
family, the like Nv wich never herd.
why, that carries Moo York city agin
me-" sed he.
Certainly" said I, "and it must be
stopped"
To which he consented, and the resident
committee furnished me money to go to Moo
York, and confer with the most prominent
thieves and garroters, and show EN- the dan
ger they wuz in NV losin control NV the city
eff they fell into this trap. | accepted the
mission reluctantly, for don't like the ticker
they hev in Moo York. A man to drink it
successfully must hev his bowels glass-lined
and backed with fire brick. Eff 700 are not
seasoned to it, it kills you-ef your innards
are tanned to the pint NV livin under it, your
membranes are so tough that it hiz no heatin
effeck. Still, went cheerfully.
When got there found to my inexpressi-
BILE delite that there wuzn't nothin NV it
that it wuz all hoax started to make the
great and good Horris uneasy. 1 returned
and stated to 'em that 1 he'd nipped the con-
spiracy in the bud, but that it he'd ben an ex-
pensive process, ez 1 he'd to buy off lot NV
J 'em. The committee promptly paid me the
sum / stated to 'em ez hevin dsbursed