The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-08-23
j THE LAST STAMP.
BY MARK TWAIN

BY MARX TWAIN. sf. .tt,-y
Ieonidss lunch recently stepped
into dining-saloon, not more than {
hundred rods from Franklin Statue
and with composed but hungry coun
tsnsnce called for plate of hash in .
yery eenteel voice. 1t happened fortu
\ nstely for him. that the desired com
round was not quite ready, and one o
ibe walters told him SO, at the same
time handing him a paper, and politely
skiing him 10 t; Ike seat. Leonidai
did 50, With grateful bow, at the same
time remarking he was in no hurry
snd be was not, as will be presently
proyen. He observed, as he was com
plscently reading the last news of the
Alabama claims, that the waiter wa,
backing his own boots which done
Ieonidas arose and asked for the brush
ajust to rub bit of mud from his owr
boots"
Takine the brush in one hand, and
the backing in the other. in few mo-
ments he had given his foot-casings q
brilliant polish, then followed up his
luck BY liberal snd adroit use of the
bocm.brush over his clothes. He took
up hat brush and regenerated the naI
Of bis sad silk hat.
'"Those hash are not quite ready
yet, are they ?" he coolly inquired; and
being answered in the negative, he said
itww no matter, "as he was rot wanted
st the City Hall just yet;" and turning
around, calmly surveyed the arrange
msnts Of the place, and condescended
the remark that it was "not quite equal
to the Metropolitan or Delmonico's
still neatl-very neat indeed"
Upon careful examination of his
hands he observed that the blacking
bad solled them; he proceeded to the
wash basin, he turned on the Croton,
and with free use of scented soap, he
secured his face and hands most thor.
oughly. Thel he whisked out a once
white handkerchief; quickly washed
and wrung IA, and returned it to his hat
10 dry. The waiter being busy with
other customers, took but little notice
of his maneuyers, and taking advan.
tsge Of this suspicious fact, Leonidas
removed the dirty paper collar and
substituted clean one; Immediately
subsequently, he had hold of castor
bottle containing sweet-oil, and pour
ing out about an ounce, he treated his
distracted head to a bath of it. And
! now before mirror, he made rapid
4 and tasteful use of a comb and brush
Observing his movements, one OF the
walters approached him with:
i Have you given your order, sir p
"0yes, thank you. It's coming OF
Don.n
AWhat dish was it, sir?"
Hash. A plate of nice hash, Il
begin with"
/ leonidas now approached the coun
M, where seeing a case of fancy arti
d1 among them tooth-brushes, b,
called for one as if intending to pur
cn,se. and after long scrutiny h'
selected one, ct the same time helping
hnself to a pinch of snuff, just as tn
Eorietor was closing his snuff box
De now lightly stepped to the wash
oam and gave his teeth such a clean
ng = few teeth can Withstand, AM
hnnhed Just as the anxious waiter hui
ned breathlessly toward him, exclain
ing:
Here's your hash. sirl Hash, sil
lmhp' 100
Leonidas laid down the tooth -brus
and strobe with dignity to table wher
he seated himself with salts actor
"ha |" a. if one of John Ludin's bar
quets had been spread before him.
After one mouthful, "Here, waiter,
Exclaimed he, "fill this water pitche
and bring me the walnut ketchup
This mandate being fulfilled, he pre-
eeeded to lay waste the hash. Afte
amshing that, with which he devoure
nall dozen thick slices of bread an
sOout quarter of a pound of butte
ne crumbled the remaining slices ini
stumbler of milk, the pitcher hsppel
ng TO hold about two quarts. Seeip
Aoshing else to eat on the table excei
sPiste of pickles, he swallowed thel
" regardless of curds, probably col
adenng that he had stomach enoug
Msnything.
| BY this time Leonidas Lunch a.
| sfed to have got quite eonlfortabl
M aiting his chair back against Il
Ml crossing bis legs and folding b
.E aE ne fell into~a snooze, havir
.0nlesed one OF the cheapest Dime
20 record. In little while he bees
snore harmoniously, resoundir
blasts Of victory.
I say Jack said one waiter to a
neI VINO is that fnoozer out the
!. ! cont know. Thought you di
NJ makes himself 80 much at hom
ne called for plate of hash about I,
n ago. Said fomething about n
Eng IN hurry to go TO the City q,
sfk, perhaps -
/ h noticed he swallowed all 4
,s.. sa and milk and pickles, and thinr
nat butter down. ~
hst makes him snore 20 p,
ispose it's the pickles ouarreli
nn the milk
,M;.u az this moment Leonidas sneez
/ bucn violence that bis chair tilt
/ 1910, and he awoke amidst a peal
tnler from the waiters--the cnst@i
.;s,ns long before gone about th
| w;,.d a. good sleep, sir ~ gravely
aroas walter, ms Leonidas arose a
I Il iap TO the counter To settle