The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-09-19
AStatve that Winked.

mUIt ttiSnL pieces llau dDg Dtlls
man alive, found themselves dea
broke IN q One-hOrse town in Lowe
Canada. When show people do
slim business, landlords are impeTs
tive and exacting, and in this case S
urgent where the demands of the put
lican who gave them bed and boarC
something had to be done immediate
| ly.
! Potter called the company tOgett
er, and after discussing their situatiO
pro and con, proposed that the
should get up an exhibition of wa
figures, to be represented by the dil
ferent members of the company.
4 81 donitsee ii, said the heavy wi
liam of the establishment.
THAT park won't bOil,n joined i
the low comedy man.
! Miss Cleopatra Melville, the lead
ing lady, thought it would lower tn
dignity of the profession.
"Hem," said Potter, "I think tn
profession is pretty well lowered now
and it is the only change l can see
make q raise"
After arguing the point for som
time, the company finally agreed +
the managers suggestion. He al
ranged that huge crate and three o
four dry goods boxes should com
rumbling up the main street of tn
town about noon the following day
There were many eager inquiries o
what was n the wind, from the as
ltOnished spOpulaee, and it was soOI
noised about that il was Barnum'
great show of wax figures from New
! York city.
Of couiSa the boxes were full OfsaW
dust, and the only statues about tn
place were the various members o
John 5. POtter's company. Their,
was a terrible excitement about tht
town during the day, and the doors o
the hall were shut against all inquisi
/ tive intruders. Handbills were eX
/ tensively circulated, explaining tn,
| statues about to be exhibited to the
| free and enlightened citizens of the
! tOwn-were perfect models of the
SculptOf's art. There was so mucf
/ excitement the manager had not 8
doubt that he would reap a golden
harvest. 1t required q short rehears.
al before the doors were opened to the
discriminating public. a rope was
stretched across that portion of the
hall where the statues were to take
| their position, for fear that too Close
an investigation might be made, and
thestrick discovered. This precation
and several large placards of GLANDS
of" it was thought would make
everything secure.
"Heigh hoP' exclaimed the charm
ing Miss Cleopatra Melville, who
represented the Lady Helen Mar
chow long must 1 keep this dreadful
awkward position. l shall faint OF
something, know / shall, if they
quiz me too closely"
"DOn't do anything of the kind,
my dear, because it would be injudi-
ciOus in the extreme. / shall not run
the performance more than an hour,
my lOye,p said the manager, with a
winning smile.
mighty good practice for Evadne, :"
said the general utility man, who
had taken his pace as the Marquis
de Lafayette.
"SuppOse that a fellow should hap
pen to sneeZe," exclaimed George
Washington, represented by the heavy
tragedian of the company.
"Or something bit him and he had
to scratch" responded low comedy,
the Napoleon Bonaparte of the gal-
aXy.
Gentlemen" said the worthy
manager, "for the honor of the pro-
fessiOn 1 hope that nothing of the
kind Will occur. Come, come, take
your places and let everyone remain
as immOvable as the PygmaliOn stat
ue, for the time being. There is a
rush at the door and we are going to
have bully house."
The audience poured in by twOs,
threes, and half dozens, and soon the
hall was at least three-quarters full.
Takes Barnum to get up things
right" said stout, red faced man,
to his better half. "If that statty of
George Washington isn't the tallest
kind Of sculpin, I'd like to know
what isl
"And so natural" suggested his
wife.
Natural, you may well say that. l
never saw anything so natural in the
whole course of my life.n
Many were the compliments passed
Oh the charming Cleopatra Melville,
in the disguise of Lady Helen Mar
such as "Ain't she sweet?" "Pretty
critter, I'd like to kiss her.n "She
looks good enough to eat; etc. The
wax figure show brought money into
the managers pocket, and would have
proved decided success had not an
inquisitive countryman made too
long and examination of Napoleon
BOnaparte.
The poor actor stood the investiga-
tors steady stare as long as human
nature could endure n, and finally
was obliged to wink his eyes. The
astOnishment depicted in the cOunte-
nance of the cOuntryman could not
have been more if he had seen q dead
man come to life. Thunder and
mars ~ he exclaimed, "cOme this
way, Sam. Here's a precious go, and
no mistake.n
"What's the matter, Jake ?" said
his friend elbOwing his way through
the crowd from the other side OF the
room.
"Matter enough, dam me if Bona
parte didn't,wink ~
"Ha, ha, ha 7" rOared Sam. al did
not think you would be tight so early
in the evening. =
81 am sober as Judge, Sam. If he
didn't wink, you may cut of my head
and boil it up for chOwder ~
"GammOn and spinnagel Do you
pretend to say that wax stattys can
wink?n
'I don't know much about the gen.
eral run Of that kind of cattle, but I'll
be blamed If this one didn't flop his
eyelids, and what's more, it's an even
bet that he will do it again. Just you
get on the other side of him, Sam, and
We'll both give him a good, long,
steady look"
A ten minutes stay, put Napoleon
BOnaparte into q state of excruciating
agony. The case was a desperate one
and he felt that he had to wink again
or die. Nerving himself for the act,
he planted tremendous sOckdolOgeT
on the nose of the inquisitive Jake,
and bOlted for the door. Lady Helen
Mar followed suit, and Lafayette and
Washington did not lag behind suffi-
GENTLY long for the audience to recov-
er from the astonishment:
1t so turned out that the people Oi
the town took the wax figure show as
a good joke, and the company, after
paying their bills, went on their way
rejOicing.-J Cooper Vail.