Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1872-02-24
Anecdotes.

Josh Billings says: Adversely has
the same effekt on man that severe
training duz on the pUgilist-it re-
duces him tew his fighting weight.
The following notice is stuck up
on a bridge at Denver, Colorado:
"No vehicle drawn by more than
one animal is allowed to cross this
bridge in opposite directions at the
same time"
Josh Billings says a Newfoundland
dog is a good thing to have, only
! one must get one or two children
and pond before he will be of any
use.
A st. Louis lawyer attempted to
! try a case the other day when he
was half drunk, but the Judge stop
ped him, saying :-"N lawyer can
! practice at two bars at the same
time"
A man courting a young woman
was interrOgated as to his occupa-
ton. "I am a paper hanger ON a
/ large SCALE" he replied. He was ac-
! cepted as a suitor, and after marriage
it was found that he was bill stick
er.
A drunken Scotchman, returning
from q fair, fell asleep by the road
side, when pig found him and be-
/ gan licking his mouth. Sawney
roared "Wha's kissing me moo?
Ye see what it is to be weel Hket
amang the lasses."
doctor" said wealthy patient
to his physician, II want you to be
| thorough. Strike at the root of the
disease Well WILL" said the
doctor, as he lifted his cane and
brought it down hard enough to
break into pieces a bottle and glasses
(which stood upon the sideboard. 1t
was his last professional visit to that
house.
A minister asked little boy who
had been converted, "does not the
devil tell you that you are not q
Christian ?'' eyes, sometimes" !"
"Wen, what do you say to him ~
81 tell him." replied he, with some
thing of Luther's spirit, that,
whether L am a Christian or not, it
is none of his business"
Parson Thomas of Dayton, O., a
. D. D. of good repute and fine quail
ty, had a son of sprightly parts and
progressive ideas. This son had
been visiting at the house of a fe-
male relation, where he took some
primary lessons in the history of the
American Revolution, and how the
Americans whipped the Britishers.
The lad returned home full of his
new subject, and at the tea table said
= to his father:
"Pa, be you Britisher: 2"
''Yes, my son; was born in Eng
land ~
= "Wen, we whipped you ~ retort,
ed the youngster.
The State Journal says that a sa.
loon keeper in Harrisburg, for the
, purpose of attracting a crowd to hi;
= place of business, adyertises as a Gu.
riOsity, "a portion of the kerosene
lamp that caused the great confagra.
tiOn at Chicago" Another saloon
keeper, not to be surpassed, informs
the public that he has a greater Gu
; riosity,-"t the tail of the coat, thai
belonged to the boy, that held the
COW, that kicked over the lamp, that
set fire the stable, that caused the
great confagration." The tail o.
| the coat was all JnaL was lett OF the
: boy, and it was divided around
! among curiosity seekers.
Gibbon, the historian, was shOrr
iu statue and very fat. One day, be
= ing alone with the beautiful MADAME
de CrOnZas, he dropped on his knee
before her, and made a declaration
of love in the most passionate terms
The astonished lady rejected hi
suit, and requested him to rise
> The abashed historian remained OF
? his knees. "Rise, Mr.. Gibben.
beseeeh you, rise" Alas, Mad
2 ame," faltered the unlucky lover
= 81 cannot" He was too fat to re
4 gain his feet without assistance
Madame de CrOnZas rang the bell
[ and said to her servant: Lift u
}. Mr.. GibbOn."