The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-03-19

'i I. awoke this morning with my head
allowed on a pillow. My noble brow
sbone in the hazel sunlight, and ! rested
SWeelly as a babe in It's moonlit crib, when
suddenly | heard a voice. 1t yelled out,
@Nary! Mary! where in thunder arc the
nav beans bought for breakfast
"They are asoak," was the answer.
"AsOak be (larned! I'm darned good
mind 10 nut you asoak," was the reply.
Then came a pounding noise, the sound
ola broken glass, and knew that matrl.
mony was in trouble. 1t turned out that
i was one Of the bridal couples l met at
Niagara Falls last summer. Such Is lilo
and more too.
TIE WOLVES OF LIFE.
On my way here l met queer cuss
He had been vaccinated for black clothes,
and he had 'em continuously. lie was
brokcn out all over with 'em. l said to
him, says !, deeply mo1rniul looking
wretch, can you tell me why Ned 0'Bald.
win Is like Richard CGur dc Lion?"
lie swallowed q gum drop he was
chewing and warbled, mo, sir" Then |
toId him that Ned 0'Baldwin was aching
iol a fight, and that Richard Ceur do
Lion was a.king for fight tor. AIwitha
cred expression settled on his counte.
nance, and he put his hands together as II
he was going to play button, button,
who's got the buttong" and says he,
"Youug man, we are all Mazeppas.n l
asked, did he mean to call me a Kate
Fisher2 mo" said he, and his voice
went away down within him as he said.
ave are all Mszeppas, bound hand and
foot to q bareback stced; that steed is
Time, and Is ever moving swiftly onward,
onward; and the wolves that pursue US
arc taxes, sickness, death" 91 ...
Ssysl: MY friend, you arc too melan.
ChOly to be running around loose; you
ought to be tied" ...... 81
SSir," said he, al am missionary"
"FOrGign or home" says l.
8 FOrcign," said he. 10 raa
THE STORY OF A MISSIONARY. d.
Twas afraid he would pass around his
hat, so Igot up and went, and sat down
and unused a muse. went backt to the
days ofmy boyhoOd, and my mind dwell
on the missionaries; how on u Sunday
afternoon the old minister got up and
talked about the brother who was going
tothe river Ganges, and hoped that the
tnty hearts ofhis congregation would be
soItenCd, and that they might be induced
to pour their treasures into the pockets OF
The brother who was going among the
CtOcOdiles. Then young man arose and
preached about the poor heather, and
appealed for spOndulix, and told how
their labOrs had been crowned with sue.
cess how one female mother who had
previously fed u crocodile with her baby
had been led 10 believe she was sorry she
did it And then the box was passed
around, and the very next thing that mis-,
sjOnary did was 10 60 and marry Slina
Bates aud sail her of 10 India. The yery
gal | hankered after, and that | had
taken to two picnics, and presented with
seven oyster slews, and q green silk sun.
shade, went and harnessed herself for
veal or woe, 10 that darned missionary.
considered We were engaged, and SO
did she consider we were engaged enough
to eat my oysters and take my sun.
shade; but the trouble was she didn't con.
slider herself engaged enough to take me.
10 less than five years Slina Bates was q
lunch for a crocodile, and that missionary
came back and shed crocodile tears, and
told how his vile was lost in the river
Ganges, and he passed around the hat
again, and the next Wednesday he, went
aud married Sally Smith, the prettlest gfrl
in the choir, and sloshed her Off 10 India.
Not content with giving my first love t6a
crocodile, he came and stole my second
one. She was lovely gal. She could
beat snake twisting when she walked
and caught the measles, pneumonia,
humps, and Group seeing her home nights
lilt she preferred the missionary TO me.
Missionaries appear 10 be preferred stock:
Snd II wasn't over three years before she
got lost in the Ganges, and that fellow
came back for another gal, and he got one
loo There wasn't q gal In our meeting
mouse but what would have risked alI'the
EFocodiIes in India to marry missionary
took dislike to missionaries, and when
heard that cuss had got in a stew and
asl been chewed up by cannibals, | goL
ny lowllng piece and went out on The
wood shed and fired hundred guns with
Onegun, But here we are ut =
ST. LOUIS.
Mr.. la. Clede. founded this place in
i'a, Some years atterward he was
SDOnl'dead himself II was coded by
france to Spain, and IN 176S il was oc.
Hped by Spanish troops. They arc
SeaG now, In Observation-Disclosures to
.ae unlled States, and on March co. 1904
,IaI country was Constituted district OF
zoe United States, and on October 10 OF
u i same year, VIII; HaIfisnn Governor
" INDIANA, instituted American AUTHORITY,
w Me 4lh Of July, 1906, II was erected
mo l1e Territory Of Louisiana, and on
We 40 Of July, 1919, twas named tho
''e1tlIoty OF Missouri. Tho first steam.
SN that ever wents visiting at st. Louis
SS The Gen. Pike, in 1917. The Gen
y never was built In May, 1919,
9eant Steamboat assembled the Missouri
nveF, and her name was the Independ,
, ~, In 1899 st, Louis became a city
NO I she has done Il ever since. In 1874
' 10y, gOl there, and found st, Louis Is III
S Na gas, has stoves, and hair grows on
NC mems faces. The climate IL salubrious
wv healthy, grass grows in the open air,
wv .Hui mince pies are in blossom, and cold
Sssa nam Is ripe and ready To cut. They
S ,S good puddings in St. Louis. have
~ 0oIh kinds Of sass since / have
~, Sfo mere, lhave been served by niger
"S white man. nv ia + 5t'ee :
~ sT W badly sold at one place since
W., ny new York. Ientcred a saloon and
~. M Up abtll Of fare, and read, "Striped
, my, Weents." Twas going TO be mighty
Sr ass 50 said Ito the waiter, You nave
wv DaSs; have you any checkedbass y
h ~ !, said he, and he slid; and he brought
S A. msS Of bass, and throwing down 1
DS SS' check, says he, "Thats cnccket