Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-06-23

SATISFACTORILY, SlUC5 Jll6 JlJlo VI lue uILu
must read either Steel Il DOoliLtle or Doc
little and Steel, SO he wrote;-"We can't
Join, one partner would soon be in the
workhouse, and the other in the penitentia-
ry." When Manners, Earl Of Rutland, said
TO Sir Thomas Stow, "HOnores mutant Mo
res" the Chancellor retorted, sit stands
better in EDglish-HOnOrs change Man
Le-s." The same names we're brought to-
getheT cieyerly, when ATchhisOp More was
succeeded by Doctor Manners Sutton, in
some lines complimentary to both dignita-
ries:
What say you? The archbishop's dead2
A loss indeed. Oh, on his head
May Heaven It's blessings pour
But if with such heart and mind,
In Manners we his equal find,
why should we wish for More?
Epitaph writers have so often punned,
sadly or saucily, upon the dead, that the
selection of few examples is a puZzling
matter. An epitaph in Waltham Abbey
informs US that Sir James Fullerton, some
time first gentleman of the bedchamber to
King Charles the First, "died Fuller Of
faith than of fears, Fuller of resolution than
of pains, Fuller of honor than Of days"
The connubial virtues Of Daniel Tears are
recorded in the couplet:-
Though strange yet true, full seventy years
Was his wife happy in her Tears.
Much more dubious in EXPIRE sion are the
last lines Of the inscription to the memory Of
Dean Cole, Of London
When the latter trump of Heaven shall blow
Cole, now raked up in ashes, then shalt glow
Ofjocular performances of this kind, two
odd specimens will suffice:
Here lies Thomas Huddlestone. Reader, don't
smile,
But reflect as this tombstone you view,
That Death, who killed him, in very short
while,
win huddIe stone upon you!
And this upon an organist:-
Here lies one, blown out of breath,
Who lived merry life, and died a MeTideth.
Vicar Chest turned the bones of Martin,
the TegiCide, out Ofthe ChanCel of ChepstOw
Church, an act the wears sOn-in-law re-
scented by inditing the following epitaph for
him when he required ONE
Here lies at rest, 1 do protest
One Chest within another.
The chest OF wood was very good,
Who says so Of the 0ther2
Gen. Worsley, the officer to whose charge
"that bauble' was given by Cromwell, was
buried in Henry the Seventies Chapel with
great ceremony. The next morning the
stone above his grave bore the words
"Where never Worse Lay" words written
upon it by the dead mans own bTOther-in-
law, Roger Kenyon, member Of ClitherOe,
who had returned TO the abbey after the
funeral party (ofwhich he was one) depart
ed, that he might vent his hatred Of the
Protector by abusing bis favorite officer.
Party feeling is apt to find savage express
sion even in our own times; when Gov.
Grey and the colOnists ofthe Cape took diff
fereIt views On the convict question, the
following lines appeared:
Mankind have long disputed at the Cape
About the DEVILS color and his shape.
The HOttentOtS declared that he was white,
The Dutchmen sworc thathe was black as night.
But now all sink their difference, md say,
| They feel quite certain that the devilis-Grey.
A cOmical instance Of a man playing up
on his own name sprang out Of absent
mindedness. Sir Thomas Strange, calling
at friends house, was desired to leave his
name. "Why," said he, ''tell the truth,
| have forgotten it,' That's strange, sir
! exclaimed the servant. $50 it is, my man,
you've hit it, replied the judge,as he walked
away, leaving the servant as ignorant as
/ before.
Swift's friend, Doctor Ash, would have
relished Strange's joke infinitely. Soon af
! ter the passing Of an act for the protection
| OfgrOwing timer, the doctor turning into an
inn for shelter, asked the waiter to help hin
| off with his coat; the man refused on the
plea that that it was felony to strip an Ash
! an answer so much to the doctors taste thai
he declared be would have given fifty pound:
| to have made the pun himself.
A gentleman who had never been known
to make a pun in his life achieved one
under very peculiar circumstances. Capt
Creed and Maj. Pack were fighting double
| duel with Mr.. Mathews and Mr.. Mscnama
ra. The first named falling before his op
| pOnent's sword, Pack exclaimed, "What
have you gone, poor Creed?" eyes," criet
Mathews, "and you shall quickly pack after
him." and with the words he brought tn
major to the ground by thrust through tn
! body.
In Justice to our readers we must no
trine longer with their patience; but we
cannot resist quoting the lines with whicl
pOetesS added grace to her contribution
| to the fund raised for the widow of Hood
| To cheer the widows heart in her distress,
| To make provision for the tatheTless,
| Is but a Christians dUty-and none should
! Resist the heart-appeal of WidOw-HOOd!
a quatrian worthy Of the great poet-pun
Ster himself.