The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-01-18

| TO SIT on, water to wash the feet, and
| afectsonate speech are at no time wanting in
the mansions of the good" That is, the
fine manners of hospitality, service, and
courtesy should be universal. Fine man
mers are the growth of self-respect, of
benevolence, and of tact. To self-respect
they owe it that they are genuine, and
not tinsel imitation of the fine gold of
some model. To benevolence they owe
it that they seek always the comfort and
pleasure of others. To tact they owe it,
that without words, they see wherein
that comfort consists, are keen-eyed to
find pleasant things, and blind to what
they should not see.
This being the definition of " company
manners" it will instantly be seen
that nowhere is this considerate grace SO
needed as at home and alas SO absent.
When Miss Smith, the visitor, trips UP
perishable goblet with her fashionable
sleeve, mamma says, Pray don't mind"
and papa smiles blandly at the dripping
table-cloth but when at their visitorless
table little Mamy's insufficient hands let
the glass slip, ten to one mamma boxes
her ears, and papa calls her ga naughty,
careless child" If Mr.. Jones is staying
in the house, mamma and the girls come
to breakfast in pretty collars and rib
bons, and with the most fluffy and be-
witching of heads. But if only papa
and the boys are to see them, calico
wrappers and crimping pins are almost
as certain as the coffee. And on the
other hand these lords of the household,
who have much pleasant conversation
for neighbors and friends, raise a ram
part OF morning newspaper between
them and their own womanBind, and sit
behind it, speechless, and impregnable
to all conversational attacks, week in
and week out !; or, worse STILL the men,
bers of the household think it too much
trouble to talk to each other, so the meals
go by i'll grim, unoccupied, miserable 81
lence, each feeder pushing his chair back
and departing whenever his corn-crib is
empty, so to speak. At such table the
cloth is apt to have seen better days,and
the furnishing to be common and coarse,
all the shining damask and china being
safely stored with the " company man
ners" for occasions of need. Moreover,
the best room is similarly consecrated,
and the common sitting-room, conscious
of the neighborhood of such careful
splendor, is browbeaten and unsettled
in consequence, and grows to have the
shabby look of poor relation.
The members of these households are
worthy people as the world goes. They
are honest and sober, intelligent and
well read, perhaps excellent neighbors,
agreeable friends. But because their
manners are veneer, they peel off every
where under the hard knocks and famil-
lar usage of every day. The women are
apt to be dictatorial to servants, and un-
pleasantly direct of speech to each other.
-" Annie, that dress makes You look
hunch-backed." MARY, I do believe
your complexion gets worse every day"
Well, certainly, julie, your feet are big
enough for the whole family. Where
you inherited such deformities / can't
see" Yet these sisters and mothers
would not deliberately stick pins into
each other, and pins do not hurt half so
much. We have even known families,
by no means Doors, to interrupt each
other constantly, and without compunc-
ton. a stranger would have been al
lowed to finish his sentence but they
did not remember that to snip off each
others observations but half-made, was
as if they should slam the door in that
others face when he was half within the
room. They did not for moment con-
slider that they owed perfect hospitality
to the home-bred thoughts as to the ira
yelled ones. Nor was that all for this
carelessness of delicacy and decorum Of
ten goes a step further, and ends in the
"nagging" of each member by all for
various right-hand fallings-off, and left
hand defections. Every foible comes in
for detection and publication, and though
the process is not necessarily ill-natured,
it is always indelicate and useless, and
easily degenerates into what Shakespeare
calls l." the mischievous foul sin of child
ing SIM"
But conscience is sharper searcher
than the nib of any pen. We all know,
we offenders, wherein it is our habit to
put off our company manners with our
best clothes Pray Heaven the best of
us may not remember frowzy hair, and
an unsocial breakfast, and IL sharp snub
to the children, among the sins of our
past 1t is not easy to write formula
of home etiquette. And, after all, if we
are only well-bred enough to under
stand it, there is one already printed in
very old book, and which runs in this
wise; BE kindly gfectiOned one to an
other in brotherly love in honor prefer
ring one another. ."-Hedrh and Home.