The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1872-11-23
Foreign Iten1-S-

Mark Twain says - am dlnerent from
Washington / have a higher and grander stand
ard Of principle. Washington couldn't lie. L
can lie, but L won't"
MATEmoNIAL-Newly Married Daughter
. Mamma, how long does the honeymoon last?' -
Practical Parent: - Until you ask your husband
for money, my dear"
MEDrcAL-Judy saw a man the other day with
something dreadful ON bis He will proba-
bly, never get rid Of it while be lives, poor fellow!
for il his wife
There is q woman in Idaho who is so jealous of
her husband that she won't allow him TO carry
pocket-handkerchIef, for fear he will carry
handkerchief Irritation with some of the girls.
He doesn't mind the handkerchief much, but it
is hard on his cOat-sleeve-
The eccentric DIR. Byles had at one time a
remarkably stupid Irish girl as a domestic.
With look and voice of terror, he said TO her
in haste, - Go and tell your mistress that DIR.
ByIes has put end 70 HIMSELF The girl flew
upstairs, and, with n face of horror, exclaimed
at the top of her voice. - DIR. Byles has put an
end to himsefl'' The astonished wife and
daughters rushed into the parlor. and there was
the doctor calmly walking about with part of
a cows tail that he had picked up in the street
tied to his coat or cassOck behind.
The Cleveland police took up prominent
citizen in a sad state of mental alteration the
other day, and after restoring him learnt that he
had probably lost his mind in trying to remember
and deliver the parting message of his wife, who
on kissing hiIn good bye in the morning, told
him to - 90 the dressmaker and tell her that
she This wife) bad changed her mind, and would
have the watered silk made mp instead of the
poplin and be and tell her, ;" said the wife,
- that il she thinks il would look better with
ten bias hOunees without putting, and box plait-
ing below the equator, which should be gathered
in hem stitched yudgeOns up and down the seams |
with gusset-stitch between, she can make it up |
in that way, instead of huting the bObinette |
insertion, and piecing out with point applique, /
as / suggested yesterday"
A UTE SCALP DANcE-After the etiquette of
the occasion was over, the Maunche Utes showed /
US what was the pleasing custom whenever a
good and glossy scalp fell into their hands, by |
dancing scalp dance, shouting, screaming, drum
ming and yelling, while an old and haggard and /
wrinkled squaw kept the old bucks to their work /
by loining in the breakdown and working assid- |
uously in the semi-religious observance. 1t was
all Wierd and strange and unusual sight, and /
the dirt and the creepers and the stoid indiher- /
ence Of the average Indians disappeared entirely |
from the mind, and in their place came up very |
unpleasant imaginiDgs of very lively shining
around should that pack Of ferocious, and vet |
very tame, hyenas turn loose upon you. They
used up all the breath and power and muscle
they had, passed in review again, and went off
croning some very unmusicaI air. and all was
quiet.-LoS PinOS Corr. Denrer NeIOs.
A SENSIBLE 'sTREAT. The Chronicle of Vir-
ginia, Nevada, has the following: Joe Stewart
",
though a sporting man, has made an innovation
on the American custom of - treating" which
the friends Of temperance throughout the world
will applaud. Yesterday he standing on &
street, between the door of 4 saloon and that of
a merchant tailor, when party of friends came
along (mostly married men). Joe wanted TO
- treat" and thinking of the families OF his
friends he stepped into the tailor's and said
- Come in, gentlemen, and take something with
me- The gentlemen asked what here was to
-. n. N-lr,
a neektie They will not hurt youI" And he
treated each of the party to a handsome necktie,
and walked away doubtless feeling better and
more frisky than if he had treated to tangle-foot
whisky
The following is from the Jelrish Chronicle: ''I
shall not intrude ladies. The words, accompanied
by smiles, were lately spoken by person to two
ladies. one n countess, the other princess The
rovVerf1I personage was ROthschild the two ladies
had come as-beggars- Evidently, they did not
beg for themselves but for hospital to be erected
ut Ischi Such begging Is very laudable, and
RotbscbiId did not delay IN taking his pen sign
the list Of subscriptions But just before ne took
the pen from the inkstand he asked Excuse
me ladies', is the hospital to be inter-communal?
that is, will patients be accepted that do not
belong to the Catholic religion?'' The ladies
became confused, but had to admit that only
Catholic PATIENTS will have the benefit Of the hos
pital - Then, ladies, L shall not intrude," said
Rothschild, and he laid down the pen The
ladies understood hlEa WITHOUT Iurtner cOmu1enbs
and departed
wAssISGToS TEzEITORY CALL Answered
The Philadelphia Sunday Dispatch gets OF the
following:
"a newspaper in Washington Territory ap-
peaIs 10 the East to Send US Wives! The editor
is probably not aware that polygamy Is prohibit
ted in this part Of the country, and that 1t viii
be impossible for any generous,
whole-souled philanthropist among US to comply
with his request Hardly any man here has more
wives than be absolutely wants. The practice of
marrying half dozen at a time was abandoned
as soon as it was discovered that William Penn
left so many widows that charitable people were
compelled TO build the Penn Widows Asylum IN
order 10 give them decent and comfortable home.
Now, If it had been mothers-In-law that they
want in Washington Territory, there would have
been no trouble. Almost any man can spare a
and we know a man who has been
married several times who would be willing to
end three or four away to a distant land forever
md ever, to oblige friend. We are not entirely
destitute Of generosity, here at the East"