Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-03-02
Facts and E'aracles.

'HailoW Sdu5c loau hS Ao"N
to Heaven.
True patriotism-Marryi a pen
stoned widow.
Write to u Congressman and you
are sure of frank reply.
Good potatoes and corn have their
eyes and ears about them.
Pferdstrasseneiser bahnwagen is the
German, ''for short, "for horse car
An artist is not as strong as horse,
but he can draw larger object,
4 western paper tells of "poverty's
fingers staring a WON n IN the face.
Brigham Young has steadiast faith
in the im~Utah bility OF Normonism.
The Washington Copttek alludes to
the diplomatic difficulty as lie Goldfish
war.
81 tel. you, wife, | have got the
plan all in my head, }" "Ah then, its
al in Il nutshell. "
1t is said of our new western poet
that though his songs are "Sierras"
he is always joaquin"
Why were Adam and Eve elected
from Eden? Because they were dis
posed to raise Cain there
The boot and shoe trade is the sefest
to engage in. Every pair made are
soled before they are finished
A physician has discovered that the
nightmare, in nine eases out Of ten, Is
produced from owing bill to the prin-
| ter
DIR. Aver, the distinguished pills.,
has Just bnilt handsome palace for
himself--a sort Of Ayer-casle as It
were.
Western New Workers call rcd hair
" Schenectady color" on the flmsy pre-.
text that Schenectady is a Ettie beyond
| Auburn.
\ woman at revival meeting, IN
| Ohio, said she found her jewelry was
dragging her down to hell, and So gave
| ii To her sister
At recent fair in Pennsylvania, a
gentleman obtained a dollar premium
Tor g best archangels." 1t was in tie
Poultry class.
Bad Pennsylvania boys ask the usher
Gor seat in church. aud while he i
marching soemnly down the aisle, tbeJ
silently steal away"
A Georgia lauudre.s of color wcri
because some paper cola's which she
tried to rcnovAte i" wash a to iiindcss,
| tor trne."
Alexis was so young when his e. be-
declared N anc1'at,en, that there j.
talk of taking him to Long Branch for
the sake of showing him surf.
An ilInatured contemporary says that
Rhode Island goes for narrow gutgt
railroads because she wants both rails e.
lie within her territory.
The Piutes stoned TO death ono Of
their medicine men who failed to cure
two invalid chiefs Young mciicl
graduates are advised not to settle
among the ri Utes
4 justice Of the peace down in Ken
tuckg sentenced reporter VINO had Sc
| vercly criticised. his decisions to be nog
eed aud imprisoned on bread aud water
Our reporters don't want to emigrqte to
Kentucky.
: / will consent to all you desire"
-aid young lady to her lover, on con,
dition shat you will give what Won have
- haxy asol
what you can give me-" What did she
want? A husband.
A new style of obituary item-hriet
but to the pont---has been invented
thus: John Smith, of New York. re
voIver:" G.. jenkins, of Philadelphia.
third story window :" (" Annie Jones,
Of New Jersey, laudanum.
g Tis strange" muttercd a young
man as he staggered home from sup
per party, show evil communications
corrupt good manners. I've been SUR
rounded by tumblers all evening, aud
now I'm tumbler myself"
You must not play in the street
with tho boys now, my dear; you are
seven years old" said an old lady to her
grandchild. But grandma" was the
innocent reply, the older ! grow the
better like the boys"
Alexis stopped at MADEIRA, and in
consequence did not arrive till the 9th
Of November. We have known men
before who stopped at Madeira and
went into Port, wouldn't come homs
till morning in consequence.
A man in Boston, on getting soda,
was retiring from the.sto~e without the
usual ceremony which follows that op-
Grafton. " Recollect sir /" said the pro~
prietor' !" if you lose your pocketbook
you didn't pull it out here
| Charles Matthews, going into an eat.
ing house for lunch, heard as he entered
and sat down, seven orders given in
quick succession by throag of custom. J..
ers. One called for basin of fox~taiI