Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-03-14
NO. 1S.

there is Ilaughter]. IF l can make you
wiser than you are, or if / can protect
you in after life as / have been protected,
let me do it here, even If | perish on the
spot. Laughter Nov this thing oc-
ours in this wise. AS trivial as it is, it is
matter TO be treasured, / think, and re-
membered When was fourteen, as /
remarked before, | was living with my
parents, who were very poor and CORE
spondingly honest. We had youth liv-
ing with us by the name. of Jim Wolfe.
He was an excellent fellow, seventeen
years old, and very diffident. He and /
slept together and one very bitter win
ter's night Cousin Mary of mine
she's married now and gone laugh
ter rI-gave what they called a candy pull
ing in those days in the West, and they
took the saucers of hot candy outside of
the house into the snow, under a sort of
old bower that came out from the caves
il was sort of an ell then all covered with
vines-tO cool this hot candy in the snow,
and they were ali sitting around there,
and in the meantime we were gone to
bed, we were not invited to attend this
party, we were too young. All these
young ladies and gentlemen were assembled
there, and Jim and | were in bed. There
were about four inches of snow. on the
roof of this ell, and our window looked
out on to it, and il was frozen hard. \
couple of tom-cats were assembled on the
chimney, in the middle of this ell, and
they were growing at fearful rate, and
switching their tails about, ana going on,
and we couldn't sleep at all. Finally,
Jim said, " For two cents I'd go out and
snake them cats off that chimney;" so |
said, "Of course you would" well, he
said, "Well, / would; /. have a mighty
good notion to do it," says /, "Of course
| you have; certainly you have; you have
great notion to do it." / hoped he
might try it, but was afraid he wouldn't
Finally, did get his ambition up, and
| he raised the window and climbed out on
that icy roof, with nothing on but his
socks and shirt. Laughter. lie
went climbing along on all fours on the
roof towards this chimney where the cats
were. In the meantime these young ladies
and gentlemen were enjoying themselves
down under the caves, and when Jim got
to that chimney he made a pass at the
cats, and his heels flew up and he shot
down and crashed through those vines,
and lit in the midst of the ladies and
gentlemen, and sat down in those hot
saucers of candy laughterl, and there
was general stampede, of course, and he
came upstairs dropping pieces of china
ware and candy all the way up and when
he got up there-now anybody in the
world would have gone into profanity OF
something calculated to relieve the mind
under such circumstances-[l laughter i
but he didn't. He scraped the candy off
his legs, nursed his blisters a little, and
said, 81 could have ketched them cats il
/ had had on a good ready" Now, say
this, that if the opportunity had so fallen
out that | could have had ample oppOrtu-
nifty to get up speech, l could have got
ten up speech that would have sent you
all hOme-happy or otherwise; l could
have gotten up a speech that would have
done honor to the occasion and to me
but, under the circumstances, have had
no opportunity, and could not get VI
such a speech, but, as long as you live,
if you remember the circumstances at all
you will remember that if / had had on {
good ready, would have caught these lit
arary cats here present. Laughter.
Now, l won't bore you any further, bu
will simply say that am glad to be pres
ent here, glad to nelp to celebrate this
occasion, the new era of an enlarged pros
perity for the AL1iHe, and also the calling
to the editorial chair of a gentleman OF
culture like Mr. Stoddard, and / am glad
to be able to sit with so bright a company
as this, and hope you will excuse further
remarks from yours truly. Laughter.