Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1872-02-13
H M 0 r 0 S
On the Increase.

The questions have but to be put, "Who
makeup our armies 2" WHO cast the most
votes on election day 7" who make he most
laundering responses when three cheers are
desired & and the answer to these aud all
other questions will be the Smiths, Browns,
Joneses and JOhnsons. Ii in passing up Bal
simore street you mention the name OF any of
these. families above a whisper a hundred hats
are raised and a hundred heads nod in answer
to the name. According to the new directory
for 1872, the Smiths. the indomitable Smiths.
have proved themselves t. be a community in
themselves, and they stand forth ass strong.
net reckoning the Madames, Misses or infant
Smiths. 1t IL true their names do not all cor
respond. and it is supposed that in coming
over the Smyths lost an ri" aud the Smid,s
did NOT know ~" or the former there are
4, and the latter 3. If Johu Smith should
Sun, just 147 john Smiths wonid besiege the
post office that day. Adam Smiths, the orici>
nais, are 8, and the Christian Smiths g.; the
eolored Smiths 339; the number of black
smiths is very hard t, determine.
Next comcthe Johnsons, and many a female
heart has throbbed with pride in chausin.
her own name for that same name johnson.
Ihe Johnsons in all number SS3; 545 of these
are c"iored Johnsons J"hnstons Is, and
Johnstones ; Johnsons 8, and Jim John
sons ID.
Third in order come the Browns, aud who
ever heard the name of Brown that he did
not feel a peculiar stiffness about his shirt COLI
lar and imagine he was wearing a swallow.tail
coat. A faInting lady was once heard to utter.
y Brown oh Brown if l could but be-
come a Brown. or our Browns there is a
total OF ISi, and out of their number the
Brownies number 10. The colored Browns
number BIZ, aud one alone bears the name of
his grandfather of great grandfathers, Adam.
If in Monument, Square a speaker, in address
ing a mass meeting, should say My friend
John Brown, &C." IS voices would echo
..Hear! hear!
Next come the Jones, and there is a melody
in the very name of Jones, and it is their
family boast that it can be spelt in but one
way. There Is something military about the
name OF Jones, Call FROM your parlor window,
even at midnight, Major Jones. and a dozen
hands will be seen by the light of the street
lamps giving a graceful military salute, aud u
d"zen voices will answer 'preseut, my dear -
The Jones, when the muster roll is called.
answer 659 iu all. John Jones would stand
up 20 times and Tom Is, the colored Jones
269; but what would our foreign missionaries
say IT they knew that there is not II Christian
Jones at home, while they are away among
the Chinese labies.
There was only one man in Baltimore who
never heard Of the Jenkiuses, until one day
walking with a friend he found every other
man a y Jenkins, and that man has never been
heard OF since. The jenkins promenade on
Sundays Isl strong, of which number 46 ara
eolored. and Increase the city's debt by the
wear and tear of her ~pavemeuts. 1t is a mat
ter of conjecture Of those who make anil
names and titles a study, whether or not Cap
tain J'nks. Of horse marine notoriety, is not
distantly related to this family.
In summing up all the above families. it
must be understood that the female portion
and children who are not old enough to have
their names in print are not reckoned up, and
the real number OF these large families as
sumes gigantic proportions.
bal. San, Feb. 6.