The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-12-25
HIARN TwAIN's SAD EXPERIENCE IN
ENGLAND.

/ is nOTe fortunate JnHn Ilc uniuckN |
foreigner who has subjected himselef
to unstinted hospitality among the
English. The punishment of the Lon
| don lunches is as much more banelul
than the StaiDbuul bastinadu as it APP
pears at first more seductive. The
symptoms of the patient in either case
i hardly fall short of the horrible. In
one case the face turns black immedi-
ately, IN the other the liver grows
black finally. Poor Mark Twain, un.
der the latter ordeal, is seen 10y his
trends i'll London to be growing rapidly
thinner and paler. Day after day he
drags himself still an hour later ia
the afternoon from his bed at the
Langham. where efforts at sleep have
ceased to restore his relaxing energies
But for Americans to understand the
full severity of the sentence To- which
their countryman has been condemned
in England, it is only necessary to
comprehend single one of its two
huHdred constituent elements, all Eng
lish dinner. The true London dinner
CONSISTS of from twelve to twenty
courses, the half OF which are sub.
stantial ntats, fish, iual Is aud game,
braced up aud lmterpulatcd with pat.
ties, soup aud entrees. Then toIluws Il
Vista OF suiien puddngs and sodden
sweets, CAk"s, cUstards ANA miA Ell ices
whuse consumption paints toward
death aud The hours of niIduIght. And
still The ponde.Uus least is not ever.
There remain piles of green nuts aud
uver-nourlshed fruits, iuSidiuus entrees
of late dessert with foreign flavor, aud
lastly that inevitable, fatal cumestible,
crpwning tue .gusl of every British
dinner, and wiioee very look and odnr
are suggestions of the grave-a Still
ton cheese! But the London dinner is
not mostly thing Of eating After
all has been said, 1t is an affair to be
drank rather thsu masticattd, its sue
ceedlng c, urses appearing to b. intro,
duced m.lnl for the object of clear
ln., the paiste for II fresh flavor of
vine. y dcii"ate h .ok is placed he
SIDE the plate of microscopic, nut fine
~ flavor, q, English oysters that he.
glu the meal. i-i,ulernt or Mustl,e sue
ceed to he H"ck, with the fish that
e follows the oysters Mosrle and oau.
10 terne give way 10 the substantial sher.
o ~ aud Hungarian in the ihlrd course.
y The shetry is carried forward with II
= red burgundy /" accompany the piece
=, de resistchce, or the heavy roast Of Eng
Y iish surldiu that breaks the first shock
- "f appetite IN the process, ot dining.
Chateau Iquem or whine Iusuy at.
tends the twl that replaces the ruasj.
Game Is iu.rodu eG with ci.rrt and
champsgue ! ouccye upg dish is sup
:. ported uy "a g,a-s ot Madeira. 'iue
Madeirals cuntrast,d with Greek vine;
huttie nA AMauMniilai is drt,ly ms gt,d
o brace lle tagging slimu,aut of the
{ Iened"s. With ghe dessert appear the
massive Southern wincs-Port and
Spanish, while the heavy English ia.
vnrte, sherry, has not once disappear
ed from the cloth, The black wines
are carried hrough the dessert aud
fruits; BORDEAUX is sippeI with the
nd cheece, after which the guests drink all
round liqueus Chatreuse or Maras.
chine for betRr digestion, and the la.
dies retiring, t,er lie English fashion
, the cloth is dnwu. C"gnac aud whisky
- Introduced, anl the reguiu, drinking
to O. an English timer party begins.
,h To support t,is enormous aud mas
n n sive eating and drinking one would
" suppose that tho English would fud
it convenient ifabsulutely necessary
@ to recline, lIkethe old Romans, al
- their meals. Theinferencr is as ahsurc
as the fancy of al Anglo Saxon in Il
d. classic position. An Engllshman i,
: never sieadier tan when he rise,
from five hours of lining. He appear,
H. To carry off his Gois Of food and gal
Ions ot wine As lighly as ifthcy were d
biscuit and Il cup g tea. Aud us tn,
marvellous pucUlati4u that follows III,
- Ordinary English dnuer the Nrist0
cratic Londnaer aplears simply rs ,
porous membrane Through wh.cl
as liquids disappear witt the simplicity
OF the cudcsmose process ia nature--ul
her c"gnac and whisky sink inc
his organization as gre, fully as il h,
British stomach we're the proper re
ceptacle and destiny Il the alruhulS
iHt upper tldsS ElE'lSh are uu
douhtedIy the best dinci and the hes
H., wined race in the wort!; and lher,
~ appears to be IL dispen'afion in rh,
moist, unsteady almusthere of tn,
English climate that Htoles fur its dis
agreeahleneSs by allowing an impnni
T. ty of appetite to the iuI plitants whicl
r. exists nowhere else The climate is ,
ns soaking one literally. A, American
81 Or arriving in England finds thut he cur
osi add unr-lhIrd to his ratnh nf H.,
m q irituous beverages vii out appre
lg heuyion. Bur the stomach bl Crassu
rs, would NOT suffice MARX rvam 10 eu
a joy even muicly nf the sN.tsutia
h. guod will which he is fndiIe amun.
n, his doughty English 'rends Brilisl
nf hnsuitu Inv las "a u,tys lad uh,,.tLi, .,