The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-03-22
PLAIN DEALER,


weight, always gives them as mu, b
water as they will drink before driving
them onto the scales. THAT" he
says, lis what I understand by water
ing stock"
The Chicago Times says Of the strin-
gent law recently enacted by the
radical Legislature Of Illinois: ats q
nice law, this temperance statute. You
can get drunk larrup your wife and
knock smitherecns out Of the furniture,
and then make the man who sold you
the virus pay all the damage"
A booty individual at party, recent
~, succeeded in Disgusting his con-
dition until the apples were brought
around. When he saw them his emo
ton overcame him. What" he ex-
claimed, "apples at this season? Are
they ripc!"
A schoolmistress was trying to teach
q class of four and five years old the
names of the days of the week. After
practicing them while, she asked a
Eve year old girl, "What day is this?''
washing day." was the quick re-
ply.
An Ohio clergyman had an audience
of just one-his Notwithstanding
Day, so he didn't preach, but sent his
sermon to the nearest religious paper,
and it was printed. The paper has
been losing subscribers ever since.
A Connecticut paper speaks Of a
detected individual who asked the editor
what the charge was for Inserting a
notice of the death of his wife. On
being told that it would be done for
nothing, he frightened up considerably,
and observed that death had been rob-
bed of half its terrors."
Nov, children" said Sunday
school gentleman-visitor, who had been
talking to the scholars about good
people and chad" pcople-''now,
children, wien l am walking in the
street, l speak to somc persons I meet,
and l don't speak to others; and what s
the reason?" lie expected the reply
would be, because some are good,
and others bad" but, to his discom-
future, the general shout was, "Be-
cause some are rich and others are
poor!"
The Journal Of Applied Chemistry
recommends the use Of small quantity
Of carbolic acid in paste for laying
paper-hangings and in whitewash. II
neutralize the disagrecable odor conse.
quent upon the decomposition of the
paste, and also repels cockroaches arc
other insects.
Boswell once asked johnson if there
were no possible circumstances under
which suicide would be justifable. NJ
was the reply. "Well," said Boswell
"suppose a man has been guilty o.
fraud, he was certain would he founC
out!" "Why, then," says johnson,
"in that case let him 60 to some coun'
try where he is not known, and not te
to the devil, where he is known
Base Ingratitude. Mrs. Stanton
tells of some church ladies who picked
up ''poor little orphan boy'' and ed
ucated him for the ministry. They
paid his tuition, and he gave great
promise. and when he graduated they
bought him some nice clothes, and were
all on tiptoe Of expectation to hear lii
first sermon. Imagine their consterna'
ton when on graycly announcing hi.
text, he quoted from from St. Paul
''Let the women keep silent i'll thu
church"
Master (who finds his apprentice
reading dime novel;. "Your Sun
day-school teacher said you were &
steady, moral boy, and find You, il
work-time, reading that perniciou:
trash-eh, sir?''
Boy. "Please, sir, I was only a.
readin' on in 'opes Of the Gro dyin'
conwerted!"
Benjamin Couley, ex-governor O!
Georgia, who pardoned a confessed
thief, as the last act Of his administra.
ton, heads the delegation from Georgia
to the Grant-Philadelphia convention,
The thief thus pardoned, Foster
Blodgett, is also member of the del
egation. These are the men Of charac-
ter who are expected to nominate Mr..
Grant for the presidency.
An Elmira minister was having a
donation party the other evening, when
Mr., ambitious to appear liberal,
marked four dollar castor up to
twelve dollars, and took it in as his de-