davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11
Poking Fun at a Railroad.

Mr.. Derrick Dodi writes as follows to the
Washington Capital about the branch rail
road between Baltimore and the Capital:
But about this railroad. Of course l want
it abolished, as every one does. The reck-
less velocity with which the trains are run
between here and Baltimore is absolutely
frightful. I was delighted years ago when
this road was established because l thought
we had got rid of the old rickety and dam
gcrously fast stage coaches, but the speed
they arc beginning to run the trains at now
on this road is worse yet. Now, every one
knows that Baltimore is forty miles from
Washington ifit is an inch, and three days and
half is plenty quick enough for the. trip,
but the managers have already reduced the
schedule time to three days and four hours,
and what with making the engine fires too
hot, and racing with cows along the road,
and all that, the conductors arc even cutting
that time down.
Why, it was only the other day on the
down trip we happened to spy Sims old
mule about two miles out Of town. What
should the reckless wretch of an engineer do
but clap on full steam and race every foot
of the way into the district? We didn't ex-
actly pass the mule, but caught with him
twice, and came into the depot neck and
neck-and which was putting the most, the
mule or the engine, you couldn't have told
to save your life. Now, it was all very ex-
citing, and all that, l know, but I hadn't
purchased an accident ticket, and don't
believe the other four passengers had either.
This is all wrong, Mr.. Editor, all wrong.
And then OH another occasion, [ remcm.
bcr, we came within hairs breadth of hay,
ing very serious accident. The engineer
had gotten off to SNOWFALL chipmunk, and
and the conductor was minding young wild
owls baby for hcr-the result was that the
train happened to get on down grade and
VIC started off at terrific rate, every bit ol
four miles an hour, I should think. We
were Just half mile above Annapolis juno
ton, and the first thing we knew there be-
ING no one to whistle and and wake up the
switch, tender, we were turned off into the
Annapolis road and went down the wrong
track at full speed. Imagine our constcrna
ton when just at this moment we heard th'
whistle, not half mile ahead of us, Of thu
Annapolis up train. We were paralyzee
with terror. Here were two trains approach
ing each other on the same track at thu
dizzy speed above mentioned. Evldentl,
our time had come In few short hour
the engines would meet, and then-destruc
ton With great presence ofmind minis
ter on board organized a prayer-meeting.-
Pale but calm, the doomed band of passen
gers sat, and though with the very SHADOW
of death upon them, raised their voices in
parting hymn.
"Send for tho bagggase-mastcr," said
young man with sad smile.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11
"Why W was asked.

" Ndo lohCu.
"Because we are all about to pass in oul
checks"
Everybody wept From the rear platform
We could see the miserable engineer strain:
ing every nerve to catch up, but he had
tight boots on and didn't gain anything to
speak Of.
At this moment ray of hope dawned
upon US. 1 had just finished writing my
will on the back of visiting card when l
observed young lady in the act Of detach-
ing her. hustle. Placing the article-which
was composed Of 800 Capitals and a hair mat
tress-snder her arm, the heroine marched
through the car. We followed her anxious
ly.
She climbed upon the tender and then
over the engine. 1t was very interesting
and thsilling to see her climbing over the
wheels and brass things on the way to the
cowcatcher. 1t reminded me of q country
girl getting over wire fence. But never
mind about that now. Let me soc where l
was. Oh yes-on the cow-catcher. Hold
ing on by the cross-bars with one hand, the
noble maiden tied the hustle on the sharp
PROV with the other.
You can guess the result. In the course
of the afternoon the collision came on. Pro-
tected thus the engine received a gentle
bump and we were saved
I took up collection for the woman on
tho spot I always take up collections on
such occasions. And what's more, [ never
forget to give the object interested some
thing nice out of it, never. There is nothing
mean ABOUT me. I suppose you have noticed
my clothes?
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11
A Watch in q Mans Body.

A few days since, we published an extract
from one of the Northern papers in which
it was stated that a man was shot during the
war, and that portion of silver pencil
case and gold pencil were driven into his
BODY. A portion of the latter has just work
ed out through his neck. The case appears
singular, and may be doubted by some, but
there is on the records of surgery more sin
gular case, and one in which the recovery OF
The patient may be deemed miraculous. 1t
was that Of gold watch being entirely shat
tered and driven into mans body through
the ribs and lungs, and of the pieces being
afterwards extracted or elected, and the re-
covery of the patient. The gentleman who
survived this terrible injury is our townsman,
R. @. Drummond, Esqr., and he is now alive,
and except the disqualification from physical
labor, he is apparently we'll. On the 9th of
Jannary, ls4l, be accidentally shot himselfin
the left side with gun loaded with shot, the
whole charge striking gold watch in his
pocket. and driving it into his body, through
the lungs, breaking i IL its passage several OF
his ribs. The watch was of course torn to
pieces, and the fragments scattered through
the body, fortunately missing the heart. In
two weeks from the accident some of the pie.
oes we're taken out, and at intervals from that
time, for fifteen years afterwards, when the
last piece was elected from the mouth, after
having. caused one hundred hemorrhages by
the violent fits of coughing. In this man
ner several pieces had previously been, re-
moved, and with the last Mr.. Drummonds
health began to improve, and he is now, as
we have stated, apparently quite well. The
wound in his side has never healed entirely
up, and there still remains an orifce Of about
half an inch, through which the breath can
be inhaled or expelled. A number of the
fragments of the broken watch have been
shown us by friend, and are still mute wit
nesses of this terrible accident.-NorfoM
Hirgtnian,
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11
How the Deacon Got Caught.

We have no hesitancy in stating that
among the able-bodicd male adults of this
city the very common beverage known as
soda water, and which is dealt out so un-
sparingly at every corner during the heated
term, is considered, TO Use their own language,
"thin drink" But as this ingenious mix
ture of wind and water is termed "thin,"
strong liquors, such as whiskies: are altogether
too ''thick" for steady warm weather drink,
so the imbibcr who must "moistcn his hues"
with some liquid refreshment, seeks pleas
ant combination of the two classes of drink,
which forms happy combination that ex-
hilcratcs, yet is not Intoxicating. 1t is Gus
tomary among these bibulous go-bctweens to
enter drug store, call for soda water, name
their syrup, at the same time giving wink
to the dispenser Of "slush," who takes the
goblet, in which he places the syrup, then
stoops down beneath the counter or rctircs
to back room, where, b. some mysterious
chemical change, the contents are colored
darkly, and the soda is then let in upon the
mixture, which is handed to the customer
with wink from the clerk. So much for
the process; now for the sequel.
Saturday, venerable gentleman from the
country, who is a respectable church deacon
a Justice of the Peace. member Of the
"Band of Hope" and Good Tcmplar in his
native village, came to this city
to trade little in dry goods and purchase
such agricultural implements as he needed
to plant and cultivate his spring crops. The
deacon is strictly temperate, and never looks
upon the wine when it is red any more thar
he does when it is any other color. Unfor
tunately, our old friend suffered from opthal
mia in his early days, which left him will
an optical popularity which caused his up
per eye-lid to drop every few seconds and tt
those not familiar with his infirmity, gay'
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11

him the appearance of intentionally winklnsg'
The "deac" is passionately fond OF sod
water and such light beverages. He love
to feel the gaseous compound coursing dow
his throat, and creating internal commotlon
and typhoons, that, however endurable b,
older Persons, throw babies into agony, an'
require prompt doses Of peppermint; so OIL
Saturday afternoon, after he had bought ;
few shovels, plows, and Dolly Warden fo
his wife. he thought he would fill up will
soda water and drive on toward home. HI
entered a drug store, inquired the price o
the desired refreshment, then deposited hi!
scrip and awaited his mixture.
"What syrup do you want ?" said the ur
bane clerk, as he mopped off the marble
counter with the sams towel he used mo
ment before to remove the honest sweat from
his brow
ooh give me sasaparilly; that's about as
healthy as anything, 1 guess" Here the
deacon's eye.lid went back on him and drop
ped quickly.)
Gail right" replied the fountain tender
as he disappeared below the counter and
came up a moment later with the
drinking glass containing about three fingers
of "sasaparilly,"' to which he added the 9th.
er ingredients, and handed it to the deacon
The latter drained the contents to the very
dregs' then brushed the froth from his mouth
smackcd his lips, and said "That syrup is q
leetle stronger than they generally make it.
but my blood is out of order, and l guess I'll
take another glass" at the same time his
eye-lid huttered meaningly as before.
The dose was repeated, and the soda-water
bibber left the shop. About half ON hour
later he entered another establishment where
sight announced "Soda and Mineral Wa
ter on Draught." 1t was noticed that the
deacon walked as if he had the string. halt as
he entered the door, and his spectacles were
upside down on his nose. lie called for
"Congress water" at that place, saying he
"did not feel quito right, and was afraid he
had used too much syrup in his soda-water
at the other store, or else he was bilious" "
His optical weakness exhibited itself as he
spoke, and returning the wink, the clerk re-
tired to dark closet, then returning, filled
up lhc SlilsS Will Piaih SouSiesS, ahu Sa'e
it to our now "tightually slight" friend, who
swallowed it without murmur.
How many "sodas" the deacon stored
away before he left the city, we are unable
to say, but he was found late in the day,
asleep in his wagon, with plow point for a
pillow and several yards Of Dolly Warden
calico gracefully drapcd about his person
for a covering. He revived sufficiently to
inform stranger that he had been "drug-
ged," and subsequent visit to the locali-
ties where he had taken soda water develop
ed tho fact that his unfortunate habit Of
winking-a defect over which he had no
control-was the cause Of all his trouble.
The soda water dispensers supposed him to
be cone of the boys" and every time his
eye-lid dropped, took the hint. The deacon
escaped the Jim JAMS" but says hereafter
he will wear binder over that eye when
he purchases summer drinks, or else write
his order on slate Ucpclaad Leader.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11

mittance, (children half price.) My wife
now said 7 was tired, and told me to think
no more on the subject until had good
sleep.
Yours truly,
RURAL ARTIST.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11

All Transient Advertisements will be charged
ONE DoILAn per Square for the first and ssyENl
TY-T1vE CENTS per Square for each subsequent
insertion.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

How TO DREss.-A gentleman who
had long been absent from his native
village, in this county, having gained
wealth and fame in his profession, recent
ly made his former home visit, and his
recent marriage points useful lesson, to
which, we trust, he will pardon an allu-
sion to point moral. Soon after his ar
rival he called upon two charming young
ladies of his acquaintance. One came
quickly to greet him in the neat yet pre-.
else attire in which she was performing
her household duties. The other, after
the lapse of half an hour, made her
stately entrance in all the pride and
primness of starch and ribbons with
which, ON the announcement of his en-.
trance, she had FASTENED to deck herself
The gentleman, who had years ago beer
hesitating in his choice of the two, hest
tated no longer, The cordiality with
which the first fastened to greet him
and the charming carelessness of her at
tire, entirely won his heart. She is now
his wife.-Radlaad Herald.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

trends, who went thro the same apertoor,
prompted by the same motive power
He cut the bonds NV the Goddess, tore
off her mornin and wuz in the act NV
embracin her when | awoke.
lay for hours cogitatin over TINS
dreem. Wuz it Profecy or billed pork 7
That's the conumdrum. Is it warnin
NV Judgment to cum, or is it disorder
ed stummuck? Hev we dosed the Repub-
lie to freeley with CINCINNATI, and hez
wat we fondly hoped wood be pizen enuil
to kill our CRATE enemy, goin to be an
emetic witch will rid him Nv the disturbn
humorswich wuz destroyin him and make
stronger than ever?
1t troubled me SO that l coodn't sleep
tosst about in the most restless and
frantic manner, and Good only injoose
the ientul Goddess to teteh my lids after
four solid drinks from jug witch l KEEP
in my room, witch amt labelled Cincin'
natl by any means. Heven grant that
my dreem is simply a baseless fabric.
PETROLEUM V. Massey.
(Which wuz Postmaster.)
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
The American Sewing MachiI

STITCH. HEM, FELL, TUCK, CORD
BRAID, QUILT, FRINGE, GATHER
AND SEW on, oVERsEAM AND
EYELET HOLES, SURPRISING in
LOOKS AND DURABILITY. HAND
WORK.
The Plain Anerican Sctoiaa Maohine as rees,s,
pFored at a reduced ilrice $50 l1ifA e3r
one of he most beaaftfttl hgkf raaAial u, =
Finely FtHishHd MdeHiaes Bt0d,
1t is nearly No1sELEss ii is the most Simple
DURABLE Machine in use. Experience has 4
that the AMERICAN MACHINES have all the good A.
and do away with many objections. for instabs i
They use a straight needle. a aetc and IN
shuttle, never Oiling the thread.
The shuttle has rocking motion, instead IA
sliding. as in old style machines. hence. doe
The Tension is more easily adjusted simtl
turning screw through which the threat 4
which gives it an even tension, while in othe
chimes you put the thread through more or le.s 7
in the shuttle. The Machine has less working y
than any other. 1t turns back on hinges so M
easily oil and clean it.
The Foot Piece tpresser FOOT turns back
cloth is more easily taken from the machine /.
the work is done. Ii accidentally turned baekvll
the thread will not break, OF the needle get bssl
in other machines.
THE American BUTTON Hole and complets {,
ING MACHINE, OF CONVERSATION MACHINE. hrs
with Cover, has rigGi. 1t is the cheapssi a J
as toe BEsT-since IL is really TWO EAeHTSEs n
bined in ONE--tby simple mechanical arrangsel
STITCH or BUTTON HOLE STITCH. as occasion may
quire. OyERsEAMISG. ENBRoIDERING or TgE A
and working BEAUTIFUL BUTTON HOLLIS and u
HOLES. in addition to every kind of sewing d5zs
any other Sewing Machine.
As evidence OF the superiority of the maohir;
report of the judges at the great Industrial Eyl
ton in Cincinnati, where the machine a.
cessful competitor for and obtained the GoLD NJ
will speak for itself
THE Judges do hereby declare that the "a
Machine that exhibits the greatest novelty. adgdl
ment, and improvement, does the greatest gss
of useful work. equal in construction. wOTkmszl
and design to any and ali Others, is the Amer
Button Hole, Over scanning and Sewing Maela
The leading machines were ably handled ia &
petition. and the Exposition was the severest
ever given sewing machines in Ohio.
The sales of the American during the las,
have gained over 100 per cent, and the iaets
running day and night to fill its orders. Tbs
demand for the machine il an evidence Of Their
ulaTity and usefulness and those who use thea
yariably give them the preference.
SIS Send or call for circulars and samples 81 +
Agents wanted in unoccupied Territory.
Il. DEWEY. General A gent for New q
lnud, ESQ Washington ST., Boston
5-eoW-4
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
(Which wuz Postmaster. J

How TO TREAT PAINTING PEOPLE,
There are some observations in the Lam
Get of last week which might be studied
with advantage by police constables. Re
ferring to case which lately occurred
in New York, in which death speedily
followed the extraction of teeth after an
Intellectual attempt to administer nitrous
oxide gas, the Lancet ma ntains that had
the patient, who had tainted from terror,
been laid flat on the floor instead of be-
ing kept in an upright position, she
would probably have recovered in a few
minutes, and it then points out the dan
ger of treating syncope by the erect pos
ture, instancing the case of poor wom-
an who quite lately tainted on an En-
glish race-course, and, having been plac-
ed by policeman in sitting posture,
was only saved from death by the acct
dent of a doctor happening to pass by at
the moment, and laying her down until
she recovered, The public is often NOV
ed to slight display of indignation
when some one who has committed the
ofense of being taken i'll in the street is
put to death in police. cell; but when
it is remembered that many Of our po-
lice constables were, perhaps, agricultu-
raj laborers few weeks before they are
called upon to do duty in the streets and
are as ignorant of the proper method of
dealing with cases of syncope as they
are of Hebrew, the wonder is that any
insensible person who falls into their
hands ever survives police treatment
Even the more intelligent members of
the force, who are not in the habit of
jumping at the conclusion that every
insensible person smells of spirits and
must be drunk, and therefore use their
best exertions to restore consciousness in
no vindictive spirit, almost invariably
prop their patient up against pillar,
letter-box or doorstep, having dragged
him or her, as the case may be, to that
support with the assistance of the by
standers.-PaU Nall Gazette
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

1t is not the variegated colors, the
cheerful sounds, and the warm breezes,
which enliven us SO much in spring; it
is the quiet prophetic spirit of endless
hopes, a presentment of many joyful
days. of the happy existence of such
manifold natures, the anticipation of
higher everlasting blossoms and fruits,
and the secret sympathy with the world
that is developing itself.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
FRANKLIN COALl

A LARGEQUANTITY of the celebrated J !. 4
LIN C0AL,--tne BEST for summer use 9
and for sale by
II ARMS i VILE
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
LOOK HERE IL!

1t is universally acknowledged that the mes
manufactured by NJ. A. Davis are the Uest bsi5
public, for what they are recommended. Tue
prise the following: DAVIS LUNG S1ht
SOughs, Colds, Pains and soreness of the A4s
Lungs, Group and WhoOping Cough. DAVE
DIAN RHEUMATIC LINIMENT, for hl9
tism. Neuralgia. Spinal Affection, Sprains, an4
" good for Horses. DAVIS VEGETABLE
IERS Tor Jaundleeand Biiliousness. and for /
ening the weak and debilitated system. "
SURE REMEDY for Dysentery, Summer CoH.I
Chronic Diarrh9, Chills, Sore Throat, coils Z
Internal Pains. DAVIS HUMOR OINIA.h1s p
All humors that appear upon the surface. -
the best and quickest cure for Burns. DAt =
HEALING +. for Cracked Hands, 90
DAVIS CA1ARRH SNUFF. fer Catarrhte !.
the Head, Headache and Dizziness. All Of -
medicines are prepared and sold wholesslss
tail BY NJ. A. DAVIS. Bellows fs..s. }
Also sold by druggists and Merchants Sc
At Bellows z alls BIZ CooDer K Turner.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

The number of old maids in Massa-
chusetts is attributed to the superhuman
virtue of the ladies who keep boarding
houses, and do not permit their guests to
receive visits from gentlemen.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

The husband of the Michigan lady
who attempted to FIJI kerosene lamp
when it was lighted. was obliged to ac-
cept the offer Of friends home in which
to hold his wife's funeral.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

Can be had trimmed at short notice. Also La
DIES and GENTS ROBES.
N, ffurniture repaired and Upholstered to order.
In tac we have the largest assortment of goods in
tne Furniture llne ever IA this place. and which for
STYLE ana excellence of finish. defy competition. We
would pc pleased to have friends and custoners
cal ana see for themselves. The above goods will he
sofa as CHEAP as the CHEAPEST for CASH.
MR.: w. J. HALL, who as a Furniture Paintar
cannot pc excelled in the State continues with me
ished TO order. WISH M
Bellows Falls, Sept. 10Th. 1870. % 00-Na 70
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

STITCH. HEM, FELL, TUCK, CORD
BRAID. QUILT, FRINGE, GATHER
AND SEW ON, oNEKsEAM AND
WORK BEAUTIFUL BUTTON AND
EtnEkEI Nh0tiET37 sp VIZ ifX IN
WORK
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19

The Pam american Seioiag Maohiae, as re-e5tg
pFored at a reduced prtce, $50 tpsM cor. Z
one If the most beautiful, light raaAgsa o6i
Finely ftHishHd MdeHiaes a,dd,
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
FURNITURE | FURNITURE |

CLOTH AND TERRY, SOFAS, TETE-A-TETES,
EASY CHAIRS. PARLOR CHAIRS,
LOUNGES. CENTER TABLES.
DINING TABLES, EXTENSION TABLES.
HAT TREES. BRACKETS. BUREAUS.
BEDSTEADS, CHAIRS. FANCY
WILLOW CHAIRS, AND woRKBAsKETs.
CHAMBER SUITS, BLACK WALNUT.
CHESTNUT AND PINE, HAIR,
HUSK. WOOL AND EXCELSIOR
MATTRESSES. AND PILLOWS.
Six different kinds of SPRING BEDS.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-07-19
NATURES REMEDY
v H C. Il II t N
THE GREAT BLOOD puRIFIpp

VEGETINE is made exclusively from m.
of carefully selected barks, roots and herbs "
strongly concentrated that il will ctfeetualiv ~
cate from the system every faint of Serofala' y
ulOus Humor, Humors Cancer, Caneeroas mn
Erysipelas. Salt Rheum, Syphilitic Diseases ~ 3
Faintness at the Stomach, and all diseases tbSi
from impure blood. Soiatiea, InlammatorS
Chronic Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Gout and
Complaints. can only be eieetually cured n,
the blood.
For Ulcers and Eruptiye diseases Of the skin
tules Puppies, Blotehes, Boils. letter, Scala
and Ringworm, NEGEIINE has never failed L
feet permanent cure.
For Pains in the Back, Kidney Complaints, n
sy, Female Weakness, Leuoorrhea, arising lfos
ternHl liberation, and uterine diseases and Ca
Debility NEGETlNE acts directly upon the Z.
q these complaints. ltinyigorates and strenrl
the whole system, acts upon the secretiye b,
hllays inflammation, cures liberation and regl
the bowels.
For Catarrh, Dyspepsia, Habitual Cosiys
Palpitation Of the Heart, Headache Piles, Nsr,
ness and General prostration of the Neryon
tenn, no medicine has ever given such perlee'
faction as the VEGEpINE. Ii purifes tbe n 4
eleanses ali of the organs and possesses contra
power over the Nervous system.
The remarkable cures effected by VEGRTts
have induced many physicians and ap0tbee.
whom we know to prescribe and use it in theif
families.
In fact, vEGETINE is the best remedy Va !
covered for the above diseases. and is the oply
lie.
Prepared by III. X. STEVENS, Boston Nj,
Price sl.25. Sold by all Druggists, 5.eoVj