davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

A good story is told of the recent ex-
cellent performance of handel's Messiah
at the Broadway Baptist church. A
farmer took his wife to hear the grand
music, so splendidly rendered on that
occasion, and, after listening with ap-
pa@nt enjoyment, the pair became sud
chorus: eve all, like sheen. have
gone astray." First, a sharp soprano
voice exclaimed:
eve all, like sheep"
Next, deep bass voice uttered, in the
most earnest tones:
1--WE all, like sheep"
Then all the singers at once asserted !:
"We all, like sheep
"Darned if / do!n exclaimed old
rusticus to his partner. / like beef and
bacon, but / can't bear sheep-meatl"
There was an audible litter in that
immediate vicinity. but the splendid
music attracted attention from the pair,
and they quietly slipped out.-[L0uis-
vile Courier ournaI.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

In the "dark days. of '84 there lived
"DOWn Eastn two well-tO-do Irish
neighbors, each of whom had a son who
had gone West to. seek their fortunes;
The old boys meeting one day, mutual
Inquiries were made about the young
steTs. a.
"Wel, Pat, how is Mickey making
out wild his thrip out West?
Elegantly! tin dollars wake, and
bossin' himself. And how's your boy
gittin' on, Dinnis 81
"Teddy, ye mane7 He's dom splendid,
the darlint! Why, his lasht letter was
bustin' wid granebacks, and made SO
asy, tOO,n .."
"And what's he doing?n
Faix, I hardly know, but it's in the
government imploy he is"
The diyil ye say! the government! !!
What's he dOin' for the government"
Fax, hardly know what it is, but
I thinks it's what he calls Iaapun' the
bOuRty!n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

In Sparta, Wisconsin, a new doctor,
just arrived in town, called ON the editor
of the village paper at midnight, in u
storm, to subscribe for his paper, and
pay five dollars for the insertion of a
business card. The poor editor stood Mt
the open door in his shirt, the rain beat
ing against his legs, for want of accom-
mOdations in the house for his new
patron. Hunting around to make change,
in the excitement, he started perspiTa-
ton took cold and WAS sick The next
he patronized the new doctor who had
paid him some cash. He was sick three
weeks, and had to pay the doctor forty
eight dollars more than he received from
him. He says that he never will take
money from a doctor again,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

An Irishman one morning went out
very early in search of some game on an
estate where the game laws were strictly
did he meet but the gentleman who
owned the estate. Paddy, seeing the
game was up, cOOlly advanced toward
the gentleman and said; "The top of
the morning to your honor! and what
brought your honor out so early this
morning 7" The gentleman replied by
saying, Indeed, Paddy, l just strolled
out to see if could find an appetite for
my breakfeast;n and then cycling Paddy
rather suspiciously, said, "And now,
Paddy, what brought you OutsO early this
mOrning?" Paddy replied, "Indade,
your honor, [ just strOlled out to see if
| could find a breakfast for my appe-
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

SCENE AT AN AUCTIEN.--A writer I'm
the Spirit Of the Times thus sketches q
scene in an auction room, that he wit
messed q few days since. The articles
offered, he says, were damaged goods
and that women dOte on them as they do
ON curly headed babies.
The first articles put up were q pair OF
blankets for which more than dozen
bids were Immediately offered. The
puzzled auctioner, however, caught up
the highest which was q dollar from u
female who seemed determined to have
them ut any price, ere he could say
"going = male cried out I" dollar fifty"
fronl the opposite side of the room.
Two dOllars!n echoed the woman
eIb0wing her way through the dense
mass of females, who were separated
from the males by long counter, upon
which the glib -tOngued auctiOneeP walk
ed to and fro with his goods.
1.-TWO fifty nodded the man.
Thank We, sir; going at two fifty" !"
cried the aUctiOneer.
sThree!n screamed the woman.
Gin the fifty2p said the aucti0neer,
| turning to the woman, with 9 half sup
/ pressed smile ON his small, sober yisage.
a nod from the woman.
Threefifty, I'm offered; give mefouTT
Come, don't be afraid; they're worth
| double the money"
" es, and that's oil.
sSold!v cried the dealer in hammer,
4 almost bursting with laughter, to
Captain Snlith-not John-for four dol
lars
4 Smith m cried the woman, "what,
mn husband raising herself on tip-tOe
to catch glimpse of him. Why you
! good ~fOr-nothing man; yOH'Ce been bid
pudenee! but won't have them IN the
| house,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

PERAMBULATIONS OF A PRINTER. -
The following strange, eyentful record
of d jouTneyman printers life, says the
New \ Ork Era, we are positive is correct
to q letter 1t develops what a man can
do If he likes, and what queer, enteTDri-
sing, unselfish fellows the majority of
printers are The life of d printer is,
to say the least, one of variety. / left
home at the age of nine, and was ap-
prsnficed to the printing business at
thirteen. Since then / have been in
Euf0pe been III En- gland, Ireland, Scot
land, V ales and FTance--in Canada,
Nova Se0fia, Labrador, South America,
Wesb Indies, and all the Atlantic States
In. the Union, from Maine to Louisiana
have been fixed in twenty cities and
towns In the United States. have been
asailoT In the merchant service, and have
sailed III allmanner of cFaft-ship, bark,
brig; schooner, sloUp, and steameT--in
the regular army as q private soldier,
deserted and got shot in the leg. have
studied two years for the ministry, one
year for an M. d. .-~traveled through all
the New England States, New York,
New Jersey, Pennsy Ivania and v Virginia,
as q journey printer, generally with
little else than b brass rule in1ny pocket,
have been married twice, and am now
nearly fifty six years old. have been
b temperance lecturer, and d proprietor
Of b temperance theatre.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06
tsrsa Devil.

BY rHp. .. oUAD.
Tnk-pespa tered,
Clothing tatteTea,
3ss8S With His bN0On In hand,
Leaning, cleaning,
Rubbing, scrubning,
Under every stand.
Meath The cases,
TYNE and spaces
Tra1nplsd where they fell
I3y this Pinto
Doomed 10 80 TO
Printers leather hell,
Running hither,
DaIting thtther,
Tail of Ill the staff,
Out and in doors,
Doing ail chores,
Bringing telegraph
Runs for copy.
Nor dare stop he
For his paper hut;
All the JOlIfsmen,
sayetIle foreman,
Yelling for some pllat.
Proves the gnllies
Then lie sallies,
On Satanic opinion,
From the news-r0om
TO the salictlIln-
Part of his dominion.
And tile bosses
u
Bears within their holes
Make the devil
Find his level
ig up the Goals.
aisaIrg u aIer,
Bringing coal or
LgHEging water-paiI;
f* Time he wastes not
At the paste-pots
wrapping up the mail.
When the weeks done,
Then he seeks one
Where the greenbacks lay,
There to settle
For the little
Down IL to pay.
In this spirit
There Is merit,
Far from faint OF shame;
Often gaining
BY his training
Coed and honored name.
Legislators,
Great debaters,
Scientific men,
Have arisen
From the prison
OF the devils den.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06


cor II EsgH Or E0IIIgY.-
he Na aslliIla ton new sent a,
dispatch aven ssiIes last week IA
that Il iagllil tie 0f prominent
9el1a0e1ate Fal 9gIl1a, 1fA-
as, a d. Ials lEy, limo lll-
aas salaG eN o1 held ID secret Isaeets
ing agl IYed te te ste Fer
holding all other Il 0Ila tioE ia
fssae tic ton 90lil
ted tbs zeEaE On the 9Th Ell
July turns ont no 81 tIssat. q IeEs gs1-
iItieal dena flee headed by Dam
VOORHEES, yid nia all effort Egl GET d
crowd tQg ssE f8g sslellsa purpose, but
Iaassg and agl8l IRE.
as ut lr e5s-
III ssfsIl,
aHs, Q3 ae
GflliaE lle t0
inxae tied
lead (seE 0A the IIss1 K4sIaeItt, ii 8 d
leass at Aals 10
BE 4 De n4ssl1 ~ ke think
ID eYE iss tfolls to
k3le a6sln is lss AaAi 8f tasa Demo
ta zsFG ilas lent Iie let
ID tIsa ziaa al aglnd eVelF lay
ssIafG afaTfsnIss s
aFssrgl ~ II hardly ue E5aIllts Oh IaRaa I1ga=
aa siE IS too sfEaIls I'd
ate1la end tlleY aie With 3eeEl
fO se a ces and
ID tie co ion Of lie poll
Ell indicated 8y tlae ellt Of the ag-
egal
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

The oldest Free III asOn has just turned
up again. only to 6lie--iin England. His
name was Matthew GTeathead, and he
was one hundred and two years old. He
had been Mason seventy five years.
f Masonic Tidings.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

Masonry can never be rendered aris-
tocratic. IT ID essentially democratic; /;
its tendencies are silently, slowly, but
surely, tO the destruction Of tyranny
and oppression.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

+
The WEATHER IN 1872. The weather
of 1872 presents, thus far, a marked con-
trast to that of the two years preceding.
Those years were characterized by q
rainfall far less than the general average
all over the civilized world, and by
unusual elevations of temp due
to diminished evaporation from the
ground. This spring has been marked
by c0pi0us rains in most parts of the
land surface of the globe, SO far as heard
from. The Eastern States, especially,
which suffered from lack of rain in 1870
and 1871, even more than most parts
Of the Northwest, have had an album
dance of pluyial blessing within the
past few weeks, The same is true of
the southern part of 0llr own State, and
in Iowa, where many wells are now full
for the first time in a score of months.
As with rain, no with temperature,
the two being, Ia fact, very closely con
neeted. The water came down freeley
in the shape of snow, in many portions
of Europe, and the spring was a very
backward one in all the cereal -prOduc-
ing climes. o this. we may add that
earthquakes and tornadoes have been
unusually frequent, with attendant
erl1ptiOns, and we have q great mass
| 0f faeteorol0 gical facts which places
the first half Of 1872 III marked contrast
with 1870 and 1871 IN many important
poin most Important, as they bear
directly % the general welfare De hui
Manity,
The most obvious Inference to be
| drawn from consideration of these
facts is, that the present year is one OF
comp Long before the move
lnents of the atln0sph could be intel
| ligenfly watched, still less predicted
/ the law of general averages was
| reasoned ont as applied to meteOrOlOgi-
| cal conditions The average tempefa-
/ ture or rainfall at any particular point,
| ascertaiiled by the observations Of 4
series of years, is found TO hold good
/ for a subsequent series; hence, it one
particular year presents b meteOrOlog
cal excess, another year viii be deficient,
/ so as TO restore the mean and keep up
the general average. III is frlle that
we cannOt. as yet always tell IN advance
when these cOnlpeil lions VIII occur
4 but re are none the less certain that
i they belong to the estabD3hed order Of
nature. The atmospheric conditions,
fthus far, point to 1872 as the year that
ness of 1870 and 1871, and we are, there
/ fore. justified in expecting that, while
/ the present summer will be spasmOdl-
cally hot, with perhaps q couple q
i months in which but little rain will fall
liz Will be followed by u wet autumn
somewhat siiIliila an To that 0f 1866, witt
i its attendant physical prostT an6
possible damage fD the matured btli
i 1nharyestea crops iii many parts Of tht
civilized world ~ chicago Tribune.
Z. A person who was called into eOur
Il for the purpose pf proving the correct
ness of Il doctors biH was asked by |
LAWYER whether the doctor did no
make several visits after the patien
was out of dangers9' No, replied til,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

Vegetable pills!" exclaimed an cid
lady. Don't talk to me of such stuff.
The best vegetable pill ever made is an
apple dumpling; for destroying gnaw-
ing in the stomach there is nothing like
it: it always can be relied on,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06
The EEumOrists' Column.
A little nonsense now and then,
Is rclished by the wisest men.

A smart young articled clerk, hearing
it stated by a lecturer that "man is
merely machine" replied, "Then |
suppose an attorney may be said to be a
suing machine,n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

THE LAST oFTHE CAARNIBAL Taraia,
who has just died at Upper Thames, was
one of the last of the old eannihals, and
Wsss the last who peTpetrated eaIlnibal-
ism iii New Zealand. on the occasion
when he led the Thames natives to att
tack the Iauran ga people nit 41lIgaFe,
near KafiEati. This took place IN 184ss,
after the colonization Of the country, and
after the founding off the city of Auck-
land. He completely routed the Tau
ranga people, and killed great numbers,
bringing way q large quantity OF hu-
man flesh which be took To kauWae-
Tallga, pa stu ted on the present
site eff % lf0E and. tae tlle war party
landed and after TeI ying their feelings
By induI Iging in q wal; dance, they Teplem-
ished their st0maclls Gas soon as the han
gis were ready with il portion at their
0nce live Cargo After sticking several
heads on the Iighest pol les of the pa fence
they once more enb aIkesa In their canoes
and started for sIIe Peru, which was then
a large settlement OF the atela
TaTaia's tribe. Al basket of the flesh was
sent as b present To d Horeta lconl-
monty known to- Euro opeans as Hook
n0se), but the chief dec lined to accept,
Saving that be had given up such dark
9E1AGE ss1SHs sAfftEA FA1kAlRE5b
days named as a sVaTTi or, and was fOrtH
nate enough 10 10 tain his stan ding as
such to the last. He Wls moi in aikat0
siuriEg the succession a1 tgilts which
! took place there bet yeen the Thames
tribes and the and which ter
! minated in the ex0Glns of tlle former
from the Salsaite ia their owl homes,
4 after hattle Of atstSgiW and lae
used to taInG his people with their ina
hillity to gilt their enemies IN his ab-
] sence, and Ileialt be invslTiabfe success
/ which always atten ded II strang arm.
Personal he was not liked hllL bis
name sgas dread ami con ntirued ~ be
50 until tlae new state o lfs brought
about Ely tlle lIltTt) on 0f
robbed him 0f his allltlgEers During
tile last few gears bis IgseIlee has en-
/ tirel5f gone. Still, na aDt ity he vii hR
areatlY hOal0red bid II Is dead the 1fe9-
0f his es and
/ the fact O1 his slIa5g been n IsillciIssl
actor sH blie gEeat eItss af the history
of the s1e not 0la1Y the
1 Thames tribes but hers ED pay. f1is5lItk
t his mem A eetfin with d gislfs
lid is to be made, 50 as to keen Ills bfalls
i gisiOi A large aE native il
pected 10 tIle tang Otlthells Css1as
March 90
5s (1ORs TIE gs or Ii OH
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

i retail grocer announces, in the Phil
adeIphia Ledger. Dolly Warden eggs,
laid 10 order,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

An Irish soldier once waited on his
commanding officer, with what he term
ed a very serious complaint:
Another man." he said, chad up
braided him that he was not married to
his own wife, whom he accused of being
no better than she should be, and called
her many bad names besides, which he
should be ashamed to mention to his
hOnOr.n~
COlonel-"Well, my good fellow, have
yOu any proof that you are legally mar
ried?"
Soldier" Faith, your honor, have
the best proof in the world" Here he
took off his hat or rather cap, and ex-
hibited cut skull, saying, "Does your
honor think I'd be after taking that same
abuse from ANYBODY but a wife ?n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

While the conservative element of
this parish recognize IN the nominations
made at Cincinnati no concession to
Democratic principles OT preiHdices, yet
there is a cordial and almost universal
end rseIaeIt Of Greeley and Brown as
the exp polienfs of nm honest and sincere
desire for the general reformation Of
public abuses in State and Federal
81 fsslirs aud their selection as the stan
dard bearers de the Liberal Republican
TssrEy is accepted ais an evidence af a
generous effort for peace and reeoncilia-
ton between the two sections of the
Union, aud an earnest of the Test0Ga-
ttiisn0f tliat ffatelnsI feeling towards
the South which viii relieve il &C those
heavy Dllggella under which It has
uttered SO much for the past seven
slrs.zg N ate it0ehes INES.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

Never aolicita man to become 4 Mason,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

CHANGES M TIE BANKRUPT Law. -
Con ftas, OH the 81 passed ta bib laIneTda-
tory gs tie anlSfIITE law. lit allows all
e1e efa tons alIo1yed 8Y any State law on
the fsd g1 Jan 1s1 Italso 1eIilpts
& dover, or other estate III lieu
IIleIeo ,II the State If 81 so pI fdes also
lie insurance 10 the amount af five
thousand dollars. The time during
alicli ban may be discharged nn-
On HneIlt of fifty per cent. of ttheir in
debtednass IS extended until July ],
1878 ind gIle1ts obtained against per-
SONS 0r TlEepeIty, before petitions in
hasa .gfgy ere filed, are to be first and
fully sa6ishetl Changes Id the methods
Of pnf1ltiIig registrars, In the nlatteROi
marsha rs fees and other less important
particulars, are also made.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

Presence 0f mind is d great thing. An
eIiaIlge tel III Us this story
81 'lle. GlaaIinonf, Il French actress, was
play ing & 8ouJfette iIl Mes Gems, and
was gel running 10 and frO to coll
leeb and burn The presents of various old
levers. Ill the cry mid die 0f her action
size was iIllpeeed bF her Ilettticaat sud-
.tfenlY falling about her legs. llf course,
II ssrsls q very pretty article of It's sort,
and aia cot out 0f iii and the elah harrass-
1llsalf llieh had come Withit, hF des-
eT5 81 as Il tribute of admiration,
from flsas be her old admirers, which
must bt 81 clifeed like aii the rest and
she thrust It into the stag e-tire accord
irgl it'll d merry laugh and amid the
general 1lilaIity of tlae house.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

A person, who was called into court
for the purpose pf proving the correct
ness of d doctors bill was asked by a
lawyer whether 8 the doctor did not
make several visits after the patient
was ont &c danger99 z replied the
witness, lfI consider the patient ia dan
Ger as long as the doctor continues his
visits
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

Happiness d internal, not external,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-07-06

ca 9
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-03-26
New York Eloauence.

The following is specimen of the elouuence
of the New York City bar. Mr.. Howe is one
of the big dogs of the profession:
Three Decker Howe-Your Honor, the elo-
quent, magnificent. and grandioquent Judge
Goodet has sustained his ever memorabIe rep
utation in this case. His honor is unstained
by the hyenas Of conscience, and his escutcheon
untarnished by the cobra de capelos'' of an
untutored mind. The hairy tarantulas of re-
morse, and the hydra headed centipedes of
vengeance have trod the avenues of his heart
without leaving discernible footprint. He
stands, your honor, upon the evergade of self
satisfaction, but he throws his eyes over the
upas groves of public disapprobation He
knew the weakness Of bis clients case and
ike legal Hannibal, he preferred to linger in
the Sardanapalian parlors of Capua to advan-
cling upon the steel pointed phalanxes of Rome
Like Falstaff, he has decided that discretion is
the better part of valor, and like Reddy the
Blacksmith he believes that honesty is the best
policy, and that you should never despise a
man because he wears ragged coat.
SIR, the hanging birds Of public sentiment
are warbliDg in the trees above u.s. Their mu-
sic is sweeter than French operas. [ would
that their mellihuous notes would titiate the
heart of this venerable judge from Ohio, until
the seeds of self-condemnation should germi-
nate into the beautiful flowers of repentance,
and he should offer on his own behalf, if not on
the behalf OF his client, profound apology to
the defendant in this case.
The complainant's newspaper, the Times has
said that there is no retributive Justice in New
York. Sir, the cocoanuts of justice hang upon
the trees of popular rights, and bananas of
equity spring from the gorgeous shrubbery of
the public sentiment, which should always be
respected. A man whose heart is undefled
with the toadstools of avarice may pluck these
cocoanuts and bananas with impunity, with your
Honor's permission. Life is short, but the
thistledown of notoriety is ever dancing above
the clover heads of honest industry and unre-
militant toll Judge Goodlet, your Honor re-
cognizes this fact, and hence he withdraws from
this case with lurid disgust There is retribu-
tive justice in this city, especially when man
enters the SIN office and calls one Of its edi-
tors a liar. From now and henceforWard, and
until the earth shall appear but as wart upon
the thigh OF nature, overbeariug intruders from
the land OF King George will understand that
it Is dangerous In the extreme to walk info tho
Sun ot1ce and call one its editors liar
Your Honor, we appear before Won backed |
by the cheveur de frise of public onin;on and
the ramparts OF personal rights. The Gatl;no |
guns OF sefjustIfcation are donbla sbot.ogS
and the Chassepots Of intellectualitv oro e'
nished with sixty rounds of ammunition w
say this, not to terrify your Honor Init 70 W.
bic you to render decision in this case beaoa
on the rolling prairies of justice and the broeJ
savannahs of rectitude.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-03-26
GEO. EYLER. | HENRY COOPER. WIN. j. NELsON
VUvHE CO-PARTNERSHIP of Parkins

GEO. EYLER. HENRY COOPER. VIM. ]. NELsON.
vHvHE CO-PARTNERSHIP of Parkins.
Il Nelson s. Co., having been dissolved by the
the establishment having come into our posses
sion, we appear before the public with improved
facilities, and with determination to please in
Price Rnd Style of Work.
We respectfully ask from the people of Vir-
ginia and the South, fair share of patronage
We propose to manufacture and repair porta-
BILE and stationary Steam Engines and Boilers,
aw-mills, Mining Machinery, Hydraulic and
Car Trucks, Skating, Pulleys and Hangers. 80
We keep on hand full assortment of repairs
for the Pitt Threshing Machine, which We will
furnish fitted upon short notice.
We also manufacture Plows, Pillow Castings,
Hay Rakes, Hay Presses, Straw Cutters, and
Agricultural Implements generally.
Address,
EYLER, COOPER g. CO,
mar28-tf Staunton, Va.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-03-26
FIRST CE.gSS
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Send all orders to
HUNTER & CO.,
se5 Staunton, Va