Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-02-16
A Mighty Sociable + lace.
BY MARK TWAIN.
From "Roughing It''-now in press.

III NCVAud OuCAC uoCu w UC CuA
rent the story of an adventure o
two of her nabobs, which may Of
may not have occurred. / give i
for what 1t is worth:
Col. Jim had seen something o
the world, and knew more or less
Of its ways; but Col. Jack was from
the back settlements Of the States
had led life of arduous toll, anl
had never seen city. These two
blessed with sudden wealth, pro
jected visit to New York-Jack te
see the sights and Col. Jim to guard
his unsophistication from misfor
tune. They reached San Francisco
in the might and sailed in the morn
ing. Arriving in New York, Col
Jack said:
'sI've heard tell Of carriages al
my life, and now / mean to have 8
ride in one; l don't care what !,
costs. Come along"
They stepped out on the sidewalk
and Col. Jim called stylish ba
rouchc. But Col. Jack said:
"No, sir! None of your cheap
John turnouts for me. Pm here te
have good time and money AIM
no object. l meant to have the
nob'ist rig that's going. Now here
comes the very trick. Stop that
yaller one with a picture on it
don't you fret-I'll stand all the ex
pense MYSELF
So Col. Jim stopped an empty
omnibus and they got in. Said Col
Jack:
"Ain.t it gay, though? Oh, no,
reckon not! Cushions, and windows
and pictures, till you can't rest
What would the boys say if they
could see US cutting a swell like
this in New York? BY George,
wish they could see u.s.
Then lie put his head out o1
the window, and shouted to the
driver:
''Say, Johnny, this suits mel
suits yours, truly, you bet! / want
this shebang all day. Pm on it.
old man! Let 'em out! Make 'em go
Wen make it all right with you
sonny"
The driver passed his hand thro
the strap-holc and tapped for his
fare-it was before the gongs came
into common use. Colonel Jack
took the hand and shook it cordial.
ly. He said:
"You twig me, old pard! All
right between gents. Smell ofthat
and see how you like it!''
And he put twenty dollar piece
into the drivers hand. After a mo-
ment the driver said he could not
make change.
"Bother the change! Ride it out
Put it in your pocket"
The omnibus stopped, and young
lady got in. Col. Jack stared for q
moment, then nudged Col. Jim with
his elbow.
"Don' say a word, he whispered
''Let her ride, if she wants to. Ora
cious, there's room enough"
The young lady got out her porte
monnaie, and handed her fare to
Col. Jack.
"What's this for?" said he.
"Hand it to the driver, please"
"Take back your money, madam
We can't allow it. You're welcome
to ride here as long as you please
but this shebang's chartered-we
sha'n't let you pay cent"
The girl shrunk into corner, be-
wildered. An old lady with q
basket climbed in, and proffered hel
fare.
excuse me-" said Col. Jack
"You are perfectly welcome here
but we can't allow you to pay. Set
right down there, mum, and don''
you be the least uneasy. Make
yourself as free as if you were in
your own turnout"
Within two minutes, three gen
tlemen, two fat women and couple
of children, entered.
"Come right along, friends" said
Col. Jack; "don't mind us. This's
free blowout" Then he whis'
pcrcd to Col. jim: "New York ain'1
no sociable place, l don't reckon-i1
amt no name for it."
He resisted every effort to pass
fares TO the driver, and made every
body cordially welcome. The sit
uation dawned on the people, and
they pockcted their money, and de
livercd themselves up to covert en-
joyment of the episode. Half q
dozen more passengers entered.
"Oh, there is plenty of room,' ,
said Col. Jack. "Walk right in
and make yourselves at home. A
blowout amt worth anything as :
blowout unless you have company
Then a whisper to Col. Jim: "Bu
| amt New Workers friendly? Ant
amt they cool about it,. too? Ice
bergs amt nowhere. l recko,
they'd tackle hearse, if it was 60
ing their way"
More passengers got in; more ye
and still more. Both seats wer'
filled, and a file Of men were stand
ing up holding on to the cleat
overhead. Parties with basket
and bundles were climbing up OF
the root. Halfsuppressed laughte
rippled up from all sides.
"Well, for clean, cool, out-and
out cheek, if this don't bang any
thing that ever I saw, I'm an Injun,
whispered Col. Jack.
A Chinaman crowded his wa
in.
81 weaken" said Col. Jack
"Hold OH, driver! Keep your seats
ladies and gents. Just make your
selves frce-cverything's paid fol
Driver, rustic these folks aroun
just as long as they want to go
friends Of ours, you know. Tax
them everywhere; and if you wan
more money, come to the st. Mich
olas, and we'll make it all right
Pleasant journey to you, ladies an
gents; 60 just as long as you pleas
it shan't cost you a cent"
The two comrades got out, an