The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1872-06-25
NEVADA FUNERAL.

man not IN LIS own quarrel, but III TIT
defense of stranger beset by mum bers
He had kept sumptuous saloon. HI
had been the proprietor of dashine
helpmeet, whom he could have discarded
without the formality Of a divorce. HI
1 had held q high position in the fire de
partment, and been a very Warwick il
politics. When he died there was
great lamentation throughout the town
but especially i'll the vast bottom stratum
of society.
On the inquest it was shown that Bucl
Fanshaw, in the deirium of a wasting
typhoid fever, had taken arsenic, sho
Through his body, cut his throat ant
Jumped out of four-story window anC
broken his neck, and after due deli5era
ton, the jury. sad and fearful, but Will
intelligence unblinded by its sorrow
brought in verdict of death ''by the
visitation Of God" What could the
world do without juries
Prodigious preparations were made
for the funeral All the vehicles in the
town were hired, all the saloons were
put in mourning, all the municipal anG
fire company flags were hung at hal
mast, and all the tiremeH ordered to mus
ter in uniform and bring the machine:
draped in black.
Regrettul resolutions were passed ant
various committees appointed, among
others, a committee of one was appoint
ed to call on ministcr-a fragile, gentle
spiritual new fledgling from an eastern
Theological seminary: and yet unacquain
ted with the ways of the mines. The
committee man, ''Scotty" Briggs, made
lis visit
Being admitted to his presence, he SCI
down before the clergyman, placed hi:
hat on an unfinished manuscript sermon
under the minister's nose, took from il
a red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow
and heaved sigh of dismal impressive
ness explanatory of his business. He
choked and even sled tears, but with al
effort he mustered his voice, and said il
1lugubrious tones:
"Are you the duck that runs the gos
pel-mill next door?'
81 am the-pardon me. l believe l dc
not understand ?"
With another sigh and a half sob
Scotty rejoined:
"Why, you see, we are in bit of
trouble, and the boys thought maybe
you'd give US lift, if we'd tackle you
that is, if I've got the right of it, and
you are the head clerk Of the doxology
works next door,
II am the shepherd in charge of the
flock whose fold is next door,"
"The which ?"
"The spiritual adviser of the little
company Of believers whose sanctuary
adjoins these premises.
Scotty scratched his head, reflected q
moment, and then said:
You rather hold over me, pard. ]
reckon l can't call that hand. Ante and
pass the buck"
"How' l beg your pardon. What
did l understand you to say"
"Well, you've rather got the bulge on
me. Or maybe we've both got the bulge
somehow. You don't smoks<.ne, and ]
don't smoke you. You see, Zone of the
boys has passed in his checks, and we
want to give him good send off, and
so the thing I'm now on is to rout out
somebody to jerk little chin music for
US, and waltz him through handsome"
"My friend, l seem to grow more and
more bewildered Your observations
are wholly incomprehensi3le to me: Can
not you simplify them some way? AT
first thought perhaps understood you
bnt now l grope. Would it not expe.
dite matters if you restricted yourself to
categorical statements of fact unincum-
bered with obstructing accumulations OF
metaphor and allegory p
Another pause and more reflection
Then Scotty said:
"Tll have to pass, Judge"
"How ?"
you've raised me out, pard
Il still fail to catch your meaning"
"Why that last lead of yourn is too
many for me-that's the idea. can't
neither trump nor follow suit
The clergyman sank in his chair per.
picked. Scotty leaned his head on his
hand and gave himself up to reflection.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful
but confident.
"Ive got it SOS you cavvy," said he.
What we want is a gospel-sharp. See p
"a what?
"Gospel-Sharp, parson,"
"Oh! Why didn't you say SO, before
l am clergyman-a parson."
"Now you talk! You see my blind
and straddle it like a man. Put III
there r'-extending a brawny paw, (which
closed over the minister's small hand
and gave it shake indicative of frater,
nal sympathy and fervent qualification
"Now we're oil right, pard. Let's
start fresh Don't you mind me smut
fling little, becuz we're in power OF
trouble. You see one of the boys has
gone up the fume-"
"Gonc where?''
Cup the fume-throwed up the
sponge; you"
Thrown up the sponge?"
"Yes-kicked the bucket"
"Ah! he has departed to that myste
rious country from whose bourn no trav
eler returns"
"Return? Well l reckon not, Why
pard, he's dead"
''fes, / understand"
"Oh, you dol Well,I thought MAYBE
you might be getting tangled once more
Yes, you see he's dead again"
"Again! Why,has he ever been deaC
before? :"
"Dead before? No. Do YOU reckon
a man has got as many lives as Cat
But you bet he's awful dead now, poo
old boy, and | wish I'd never seen thi
day. don't know no hetter friend thai
Buck Fanshaw. | knowed him by tn
back; and when know a man like hin
you hear me. Take him all around
pard, there never was hullier man i
! the mines. No man ever knowed Buc
Fanshaw to 90 back on a friend. Btl
it'S oil IN ,,p,, lypom. ~ oil M If nj n