Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-05-22


that had been done to suppress rebellion and
establish domestic security. Thus completely
fitted for the purpose, he comes into the Cincin-
natl convention, in the hands of one of that
family which was the evil genius of Lincon's
and Andrew JohnsOn'S administrations and
shamelessly arrogates to himself following
sufficient to secure Greeley's nomination, and
offers il for the nomination to the vice prcsi-
dency. And he was taking at his price, although
his command Of forces was a swindling pre-
tense.
If the majority of the people were so mad as
to elect this ticket, the situation would be like
this An honest, supplemented, vain, self
willed, eccentric, rash, unstable man in the
presidential office, elected by the democratic
party, but whom it utterly distrusts and has al
ways hated. In the vice presidency, man of
southern democratic blood, of INSCRIPTIONS
character and reckless ambition; an adventurer
whom chance has lifted to place vastly above
his moral and intellectual rank, and who will
see in this his last chance; a man, in short, who
has Just the qualities to make him the tacile in
strument of the southern democratic leaders.
And for his private counSelOrs, his relations, the
Blair family. Under such circumstances, is
there any rejecting man who will say thatiGrce-
ley's life in the presidency would be worth a
years purchaseP-Cjncinndh Gazette.
The Conquest of America.
Some months ago western paper published
be especially enjoyed at this time;
The following is supposed to have been writ
ten in 1892 by Max Adeler, who was a witness
of the terrible scenes which occurred at the time
of which the story tells. The English satire,
" The battle of Dorking," supplied the suggeS-
ton for this prophetic tale:
THE CONQUEST OF AMERICA.
You ask me to tell you, my children of the
events which Immediately preceded the destruc-
ton of the once great American union, and the
capture of the country by the present European
rulers, and to say something also of the cause
which led to these deplorable results. under
take the task with heavy heart, for when |
revert to that terrible time | cannot help con-
trasting our proud position up to that fatal year
with the Illuminating position now occupied by
the American people. The story is a short one.
In the fall of 1872, Horace Greeley the editor of
a newspaper in New York, was elected president
of the United States The people voted for him
because they thought he was an honest man.
And so he was. But he was also vain and weak
aud be entertained certain fanatical and prepOs-
ferrous notions-about agricultural matters for
inStance-which he was determined to force up
on the people at all hazards, and despite ali OPP
position. He believed, among other things, that
every man ought to 90 to the west to earn his
bread, and long before he was chosen president
he used TO advise everybody to remove to that
region as a cure Tor all the disasters that could
befall the human family.
b RIYING THE sEABOARD POPULATION WEST.
As soon as he reached the executive mansion
which we used to call the White house. Presi-
dent Greeley organized an army of 900, 00G men
and proceeded to force the entire population of
the Seaboard statesswestward at the point of the
bayonet. The utmost violence was used. Those
who resisted were shot down and their dead
bodies We're carried off TO national factory
which the president had established for making
some kind oflantastcal fertilizer All the large
cities of the east were depopuated, and the towns
were entirely empty. The army swept before
II millions OF men, women, and children, until
the vast plains west of Kansas were reached,
when the pursuit ceased and the army was drawn
up in continuous line, with orders to shoot
any person who attempted to visit the east. OF
course, hundred of thousands of these poor crea-
lures persisted from starvation. This seemed to
irlghten President Greeley, and he sent mes
sage to congress recommending that 700, 900
volumes of Il book of his, entitled, "What
Know About Farming" should be voted for the
relief OF the starving sufferers. This was done,
and farming implements and seeds were sup
piled; and then the millions OF wretched out
casts made an effort TO till the ground. OF the
result of this | will speak further on.
ALL EUROPE IN ARMS AGAINST AMERICA.
In the meantime the president was doing in
finite harm to the country in another way. His
handwriting was so ieariuly and wonderfully
bad that no living man could read it. And so
when he sent his first annual message to con-
gress-the document was devoted wholly to the
tariff and agriculture-a sentence appeared
which subsequently, was ascertained to be
Large cultivation Of rutabagas and beans is the
only hope OF the American nation, am sure"
The printers not being able to interpret this,
put it in the following FORM in which it went to
the world: "The czar of Russia couldn't keep
clean if he washed himself with the whole AT
lantic ocean once a dayp This perversion of
the message was Immediately telegraphed to
Russia by the Russian minister, and the car
indictment ha inNt,1 toto l,, Ino
war.
just at this time President Greeley undertook
to write some letters to Prince Bismarck upon
the subject of potato rot, and after giving his
singular views at great length he concluded
with the statement that if the Emperor William
said that subsoil ploughing was not good in
light soils, or that guano was better than bone
dust, he was "liar, villain, and slayep OF
course the emperor Immediately declared war,
and became an ally of Russia and of England,
against which latter country Mr.. Greeley had
actually begun hostilities already, because the
queen, in her speech from the throne, had de-
clared the Tribune's advocacy of a tariff on pig
iron incendiary, and calculated to disturb the
peace of nations.
Unhappily this was not the full measure OF
our disasters. The president had sent to the
emperor of Austria copy of his book, "What
know, &C., with his autograph upon hy-leaf.
The emperor mistook the signature for carica-
ture OF the Austrian eagle, and he heartily
joined in the war against the United States
while France was provoked to the same act by
the fact that when the French minister came to
call upon Mr.. Greeley to present his credentials
the president, who was writing an editorial al
the time, not comprehending the French Ian
guage, mistOOk the ambassador for Il beggar,
and without looking up, handed him a quarter
and an order for clean shirt, and said to him,
eco west, young man, 90 west"
PRESIDENT GREELEY AND CABINET HANGED.
4 haa aataNd
upon the United States. They swooped down
upon our coasts and landed without opposition
Tor these exposed portions of our country were
absolutely deserted. The president was afraid
TO call away the army from Kansas at first, for
fear the outraged people upon the plains would
come east IN spite of him. But at last he did
summon the army to his aid, and it moved to
meet the enemy. II was too late. Before the
troops reached Cincinnati the foreigners had
seized Washington and all the country east OF
the ONO, and had hung the president, the cabi
net, ana every member Of congress. The army
disbanded in alarm, and the invaders moved to
the lar west, where they found the population
dying Of starvation because they had followed
the advice of Greeley's book to "Try for yOur
flrst crop, TO raise LINES, and dorft plant more
than bushel of qucklime in a hilll' OF
course these wretched people were ut the mercy
oil the enemy, who, to his credit be il said
treated them kindly, fed them, and brought
them back to their old homes.
UTTER Ruin or THE REPUBLIC.
You know what tollowed--how Prince Freder.
lex William OF Prussia assembled the American
throne, and the other humiliations that ensued
II was fearful blow to republiranism-a blow
from which II viii never recover. II made us,
who were free men, nation Of slaves. II was
all the result OF our blind confidence in Il mis-
guided old man who thought himself philoso
pher, but who was actually Il fool. May heaven
preserve y0n, my children, from the remorsc
feel when remember that voted for that bu.
collie old editor.
In Vienna, Oneida county, New York, there
are two ponds, said to be subterraneously con
nected, TO which local observer invites the at.
tention of Daturalists He says: "Fish will
not live in these lakes. | have seen only two
living creatures in this water--onea small black
thiug, two inches long, with fms or wings the
length Of is body, II would dart out Of the
.,I H. T.at ofs,ts la