Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1872-08-03
Units for the 'I,n,es.

VI lce-"ater. The way ~ Keep ptrP,'
nalIy hot is to fan turiously. The cool
est part OF the house Is that part that
has not been baked, under the mistaken
Idea that every Granny should be widv
open TO let III the fresl air" The lnan
who hasn, anything in particular to live
tor ought to jump under shower bl,h
while IN proiuse perspirs,ion. The men
with the impest clothes on are Themes,
uncomfortable. A light flannel nrx.
! the skin acts rs a cooling sponge 10 the
whole person. lce-cream anu strawbei
ries at midnight will require the doctor
before morning. A capital way of not
keeping we'll is 10 eat sour cherries The
person that eats no meat and he who
eats nothing else Is \ fool, Tor the tiHo
being. The hardest persous 10 Arcp
and who attend toit with all their lrnish,.
Going TO bed al midnight getting np Nj
five o'clock aud taking long walk iii
the cool OF the mornln., are exercises
INDUCED in by people who keep under
takers out OF bankruptcy.
II q person conscientiously diets him
self exclusively on fruits aud vegetables
all summer, he ought to keep standing
prescription for dysentery tackled on the
inside OF his hat. Those who find them
selves getting sick, and tistter themsel-
Yes that they will get over ii, snd with.
out any medical attention, generally
find out that the doctor Of physic when
he calls, advises the patient TO call ia
his attorney and dominic. A well.tlled
! garbage barrel, if maintained III ordlna-
ry condition in front of house during
the heat of the day, will be pretty sure
to provoke long obituary resolutions
and will come 10 be called A mysteri-
Gus dispensation of Providence. Folks
with too many children should feed
them on apple dunphngs three times
day. Cemeteries owe two-thirds OF
their success to people who knew that
the physicians were all n set OF quacks,
! and every man ought to be hisown doe
tor. a couple OF picnics per week will
send almost anybody on an eternal es
cursion. A very good way Of keeping
babies always quiet and still, is to give
them lots OF paregoric, aud let them
sleep without cover on them at night,
with their cribs placed in trou. ots win
dow just where the wind can play over
! them.
The people that are making up their
minds where they shall 20 in the ooun-
try" will fud Foxs Book Of Martyrs
aud the Revelations of the lnquisiton
light and pleasing reading The per
sous who intend to leave town OH tho
afternoon of the Sd of July must not on
any account forget To buy fireworks be-
fore they 20. 1t is the only way 10
prevent sn explosion on the 5th, when
they return. Now ;sa good time To
get into an animsted discussion with
reference 10 the weather. People who
believe in funerals should lay in crsle
Of cucumbers, aud every time an infant
cries should soothc it with a piece Of
raw pork Men who have forgotten %
mail letters for their wives in these days
can get up breeze at any time by con
fessins their neglect. Folks that keep
their retrigerators out in the back yard
wont be able to use too much loo. To
oblige the butcher aud the grave dig.
ger, order your meats two days ahead
10 lind out how many mosquitoes and
bugs there are about, 'let the Flower
lights be burning" "Fly.psper" judi
ciously y distributed throughout the house
answers the best purpose OF aa euie,ic
VALENTINES RECUNBgNr SrarCg ~
GEN. LgE.-Vslentne, the sculptor. is
now in the city of New York to pur.
chase marble for his recumbent statue
of General Lee. and to engage csrvers
to cut the statue from tue perfected
model, which is now ready. 1t will
take about year to accomplish the cut,
ting OF the statue in marble. sud the
work will he done in this city, uhder
the immediate supervisor OF SIR Val
entine. e.-R.ehnohd Uh,g.
s0- Coon NSws--rhs monthly rt-
port Of the Department Of Agriculture,
gives satisfactory account Of the pres
ent wheat crop. From statements Of
the condition of the crop 10 all parts OF
ths country, it is inferred that the ~
erage yield is good, aud that i, will
reach the enormous amount VI 220, 30
OOo bushels This is about 67,p)J,O1o
bushels less than the great orop Of sGs.
but enough TO insure the people plenty
OF bread.
p1A cUxy ron Wmsxgr DRrxxsRs
Capt Hall. Commander Of the Greet
Eastsarn Steamship, gives the following
prescription as cure for druuksrds.
He found i, effective after trying it six
months.
Sulphase of iron. grsins: m.gn-sis.
10 grsins;pepperrnint water. | / dr.chu,.
spirits Of nutmeg. l drschtn; twice si,..
nT P0u,L--By recent order ot
the Pos, o lice D,partmeni money pr
ders of sl1 or less may b, transmitted
by mail for cent, on all other sums
above ten dollsss, the charges will be
the same "A heTstoiois.