Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1872-08-21
FROM WELLINGTON.

LDtHOhS AoS AueIc AIc
two things indispensably necessary in VIII
ting an article. to make it interesting to more
than ones sell, viz First, a subject u write
about, second, what to say about II. Neither
OF these can be dispensed with, for IT you |
have not something to write about, it's like |
the man who said. II was saying nothing to
nothing and nothing was saying nothing to
me - 4 dead silence. you see. Second, what
to write. This perhaps is more important.
and the one generally wanting in newspa-
per scribblers.
1 know, Mcssrs. Editors. you arc often
forced to the necessity Of '.griting your
teeth,'' stamping your foot, and sometimes
..cussin'" 4 little at these passwords, please
publish my article" But for persons like my
self who are never. ut . loss for 4 subject to
write about, and never experienced the want
of ideas 10 put into words to fill up with, their
communications never occasion the afore-
said displays of temper on your part. You
may think that l am hard up for n subject to
write about at this time, when 1 inform you
it is mud.
You no doubt remember how it was last
May, how it rained. and raincd. and no"
muddy il was. Nothing was talked OF then
but The Oldest inhabitaut said lit was
the muddicst time they "e,cr saw" The
transfers all said : it, SO muddy ;'the young
man who had just blacked his boots, would
say Its so muddy; ;" the young lady when
crossing tue street would eNclaim, On, it's
so muddy" everybody talked about the
mud, it was in e~vcrybody's mouth 1T was Oh
everybody's fcct,it was OH every horses tail.
Mud, mud. mud, from morning until
night. There were several muddy accidents
and mishaps during that time. to several of
our citizens, myself not escaping.
Being tired and weary Of having mud talk
ed of, and seeing. tasting and smelling mud.
l made u lIa>ty exit TO my own quiet domi-
ell, hoping thereby to escape further tor
lures of mud, but imagine my horror and
surprise on entering the threshold of my WI
home fleet very muddy when Mrs. Justice
met me armed with that woman's weapon. u
broom, and. shrieked rs only woman can,
don't bring in that mud on your feet
beat a Iasty retreat to a secluded spot, there
to rub, scrub, scrape and stamp, first OH the
foet-scraper, then on the grass, and finishing
OH the aforesaid broom, which received such
a quantity of mud in the operation that it has
been useless ever since. Aft;r which she
consented for NE to enter the house, under
the promise that / remain in and not go out
in the mud until l was ready TO stay out;
which l readily consented TODD on condition
that she would not speak the word mud
while Ircmained. l entered the house, sup
posing l would now flnd rest, but not so.
The little Justiccs(Of who mticrc were half q
DOZEN poor things-bcins naturally inclined
to be dirty from tn ir infancy, were at the
hight of their happiness when out doors
wad,ns in the mud over the tops Of their
shoes and playing snow ball with mud balls.
had each received half = dozen flosgins 4 day
for so doing. and bringing in mud OH the
carpct-ra | now been two days locked up in
! the house, and on my entering took adran-
tage Of the door being opened, every one to
make their escape from their imprisonment;
they just flew out ike birds from a cage
| when opened, and were soon out doors wad-
ing in the mud and engaged in their delight
full sport, mud-baliing each other. Their
female parent observing their capers, and
angercd 1T their escape. tucked up her dress
and rolled up her sleeves. and with n thick
sole leather strap, about three feet long by
two inches and Il half wide in hand. made an
attack on the little innOcents which l will
not undertake. to describe further than to
state the said leather strap had three round
holes about one inch across in it, and every
time she struck these three holes raised
three b~listers, the next lick would burst
these three and raise three more. and so OH
every lick she struck. After raising and
bursting blisters out doors until she could
no longer find hide to raise bli>ters on. she
returned to the house, and as she entered
made a dash ut me. I darted head foremost
under the bed, but was not quick enough for
her, for just rs | was disappearing under the
bed. holding the strap with both hands, she
gave me an overlanded lick which popped
like two clapbOards struck together. oh.
man how ii stung, and left the pretties st bis
tiers you ever saw. l remained under the
bed for a long time, not daring to venture
out until things got cooler and times better.
Since that muddy time every woman in
town has been cutting rags to make carpets,
and l regret, Messrs. Editors to inform you
this rag cutting business has been a great mis-
fortune to me. My best half says that MUD
dy spell ruined her carpet and she is bent on
having i new one. and she has cut up every
thing in the shape Of cloth about the house to
make carpet rags;she has cut up every stitch of
clothing l had except one pair of brcechcs.
l now sleep In them every night. fearing
should | pull them of she would ''stcal Il
march, on me while asleep and cut them up
tnn ,nIfhnr,l,1 l.o,o "n in :, ,fntn IF nt,.I-
ity. Bad prcdicamcnt to be in, you see. but
woman will have her W way, you know.
JUSTICE.