Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-05-25
Facts and FanaCIcS.

The dark age-A ladle' S age
A burg that SCOTS people. e.-Pittsburg.
! Always behind hand-The wrist.
A rough feller. The policeman's
club.
Shutting up the school - Eloping
with the schoolmarm.
The man who wrote " I'm saddest
when [ sing" was fool to sing much
Half-mourning is popularity known in
Pennsylvania as " Pittsburg sunshine ..
When opposite neighbors quarrel
! they can never come to proper under
standing, because they argue from diff
ferent premises.
Detroit is to have ball in which none
but blondes are to participate. a puny
editor says they will trip the light fan
tastic tow.
At a recent meeting Of the /" Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ami
mails" the Whir-poor will was refused
admittance to membership.
Pretty teacher =" Now, Johnny
Wells, can you tel! me what is meant by
miracle Z" Johnny " Yes ma'am.
Mother says if you don't marry the new
parson it will be miracle.
A western girl, speaking from expert
ence says . \ kiss in time saves nlne;'
for she AYERS in every case where she
aas refused man chaste salute he has
taken at least twenty.
A yonng lady says gentleman ought
never to feel discouraged when the mo
mentous question . is negatiVed by the
| object of his choice, s. for in life as in
! grammar, We always decline before we
conjugatc."
Horace Greeley is said to be sick aud
tired Of the - devilments = that busct an
editor nowadays, in the way OF politics
lie some times swears that he Will quit
the business and take to teaching writing
school for living.
Mary had little lamb, with hair as
foe as silk the longer Mary lived, the
more she found the lamb blk. For
all the hair was only flax, on that de
ceitlul brute But Mary hadat much
to say, For hers was only jute.
Said a Detroit lady to gentleman Of
that city You are rot musician |
believe" .'' No" said he ; if We're
the proprietor of hand organ, set ex-
pressly to play 9 Old Hundred ] could
not get seventy~fve out OF it,
A Maine Sheriff, who had a writ to
serve, ascertained that the defendant
was dead, and, tossing the paper over
the wallo the cemetery, Re made return
upon the writ that he had lett the SUN
mons at his last aud usual place Of
abode.
A Boston girl being asked if sne had
not once been engaged to a party by
the name Of" Jackson, who was at that
time Hayard student, languldly re-
piled, " remember the circumstance
perfectly, bat am not certain about the
name"
4 Connecticut paper tells the story
of new boy in one Of the Sunday
Schools. The precocious youth was
asked Who made the beautiful bills about
them, and remarked that he did not
know, as his parents onl y moved in town
the day before.
A drummer went mad at indianapolis
and puzzled his employer in New York
by tclegraphing to send on immediately
one barrel condensed beef, thirteen
steamboats,, one medium white elephant
and ten gross June bugs (assorted).
The Savanna News says )" Allinsects
are created for some use. a beetle, with
frst,class humming al aratus attached,
sometimes performs wonders in the way
of breaking up summer tea-portles'
One beetle can demorallze dozen te-
males.
A man with shrewish wife declared
he would move to Mormondom and get
an extra one. "Ill tear her eyes out y
exclaimed his wife. All, y he replied
but I'll make it point thst'll tear out
yours" There has been peace in that
family ever since.
A letter was recently received at Ports
mouth. N. H., directed as follows: " Pat
rick Flynn, works in the mill OF the
same name as the steamer that sunk the
Alabama forgot the name-Unlted
States of America" 1t reached the
right man.
Railway employees do not have to serve
long apprenticeship. A man is be-
Il:aI 70 hn nnrn nntnnt for the nOsitiOn