The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-06-18

eB-A disappointed Politician who did
not get the nomination.
N0 if -L4--L-l&--S- ----L---il.H O. f.Fi ii|
e5g- What is that from which, if you take
the whole, some will remain? The word
wholesome. tuI .aia ha1i
esg An Irish paper concludes biography
of Robespierre with the following SEN
tence :-'This extraordinary man left no
children except his brother, who was kill
ed at the same time W '''f
rB-A Springfield paper says; "We
know shoes have soles and tongues and
now chap in Rhode Island advertises,
"shoes made Hear" We don't believe
it.
The most gallant man ever heard of
is one who refrained from kicking dog
that had bitten him because it was female
dog. "If it wasn't for your SEX" said he,
SID kick your head off,"
tB-The best Dolly Warden story yet, is
told Of young lady of Little Rock, Arkan-
sas, who had a very small itten she named
Dolly Warden, but as it progressed in age
she discovered it was not that kind of cat
so she re-christened it Thomas Warden.
GB-A chicken thief on Long Island
tried to enter the hen house of a farmer
not knowing that big dog was chained
near by. His bill at the nearest apothe-
cary's for liniment and sticking plaster has
been thirty dollars, and he can now put on
his pantaloons comfortably.
cB-A well-known grocer named Berry,
sent his bill to an actor with whom he dealt
on credit. OF course we needn't say that
he was green grocer. The outraged ac-
tor returned the following reply N..
"You are Goose Berry, and have
made Null Berry, in sending me your
Bill Berry, before it was Due Berry, but
/ don't care Straw Berry-only, if you
do so again, Berry, will kick your Rasp
Berry, until it is Black Berry, orc 35H
NB- Some men at Louisville were betting
on theweight of a large mule when one man
a good judge of the weight of livestock
got behind the mule and was measuring
his headquarters, when something appeared
to loosen up behind the mule. Just before
the expert died from the kick in among
his ribs, he gave it as his opinion that if the
mule was as heavy all over as he was be-
hind, he weighed not far from 1000
pounds and trife over. ,yN i4n
eB- We once knew an industrious boy
whose parents were poor but honest He be-
| gan life without cent. He had wart on
his nose and a sore foot; but nothing daunt-
ed he worked with the determination and
win, backed by perseverance and energy,
and nobly fought his way along surmounting
every obstacle. Mark the result. Last
week we met him for the first time in ten
years, and that little boy who began life
only ten short years ago, withouta cent,
hasen't got a darned cent yet Well you
need not laugh about it, for he has done
more than some people as he has held his
own.
eB- Mr.. Jones was at Leadenhall Mar
ket the, other day, his special object of pur-
suit being "fresh eggs" After some
little search he found the desired articles
outside A Milesian lady, with basket
full of eggs, awaited purchasers. Jones
stepped up to the Milesian lady, examined
the "new fruit" and asked its price.
"Sixteen-pence dozen, 2 was the prompt
reply.
"Isn't that rather high, ma'am ?" sug-
gested Jones.
High Deuce a bit Av you wor a hin
Misther Jones, would you be willing TO lay
eggs for less than sixteenpence dozen, /
AK ye now ?" 'lls8 taH3 gbft
eB- In the neighboring village of B.,
writes Western correspondent, lived an
old gentleman Of the name Of Newberry,
whose fault-fnding propensities had won
for him the cognomen of sold Growler."
Across the way lived another Newbury
spelled with ", who enjoyed getting off
a joke at the expense of his grumbling
neighborlo One morning stranger came
into the store Of Newbury in search Of a
pair of boots Not finding any to fit, the
obliging shop-keeper informed him that
maybe cod Growler'' across the way could
fit him with q pair. Over the way he went
and asked, "Mr, Growler, can you fit me
to a pair of boots ?'' The oordwainer,
irate at being thus trihed with, instantly
Aprang to the door,, and applied his own
boot to the person of the offender with
such force as TO effect his speedy exit from
the room, at the same time mildly inquiring
"HoW does that pair fit p, vi 9aSff,