Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-05-07

ENGLIsH DINNERs.-Look at the host first
whose whole attention ought to be conferred on
ms guests, and on making the conversation bril-
liant and above all general. Poor fellow, he is
working hard at the bottom Of the table through
every course, TO he has to carve OF course he
carYes badly, having never studied that difficult
art-0reaks glass or two, jokes in crest-fall-
en- way over the accidents never hears when he
Is addressed, or answers vaguely, his entire mind
being fixed on the grayy-splashes his cuffs
manual labor in tight dress coat covers his
~rlnkled brow with honest drops-the sharp
corners of his shirt collar fix themselves into
ms Jaw and bring the tears into his ewes He
eats nothing himself; the reason is obvious. he
mas not moment TO spare, never was a man so
wildered.
Observe the hostess behind tall pair of fowls.
ohe Knows she cannot move her arms freely
t"hat woman IN lOw-necked dress ever could p
| ller bracelets entaugle themselves with the 1egs
OF the fowl and with each other, and clank like
cnalhs ahd gives. She gladly accepts the offer
| oil the nearest cavalier, made with half heart
| p WI "0o'eSSe 0bhge-tO Save her the trouble .
| VI course Tue gentleman carves worse than the
most, because the dish is not in the right posi.
tloh lOr hlm-more cgest-fallen Jokes: conversa.
| non hags, all watch him, aud he becomes more
nervous and proceeds still more SLOWLY. he ex-
| plains that he IS awkward; the guests wish he
would not explain as It delays him, and the re-
mark is quite superfuOus, his knife SHINING
| SENDS leg dancing across the table, where II
settles in nimbus of grease upon the hostess;
lap-she assures him with glare that She ''does
not mind, on the contrary" The
Silence Is deadly AT last all are
another all the gravy, and none of them any
stuihng; the carver then obtains little fiabby
scrap Tor himself, perfectly cold Just as all the
| other plates are removed.
Now for the rest of the company. They get
| enough to eat, but seldom the right kind and
4 tlleY have Other Ihav =.
SIT alternately, men and women. Ii is the mere.
| est and remotest chance that they are well
matched. IL generally occurs that the Youngest
woman IN the room is sent down with one of
the Oldest men, VINO may be quite deaf | have
| heard young wife complain that for three
| years she has never been taken down to dinner
| by any one under seventy. This is a very com.
mon mistake on the part of the hostess, and one
| which, Of course, dOoms "crabbed age and
you'll" 10 dizziness all dinner time. The older
| and more honorable matrons are often no less
unfortunate. A clever woman is seated beside
| a man who believes that stump oratOry is the
| sole aim of the "womans rights movement,
and that an educated wife cannot take care OF
her husbands house or bring up bis children.
| A beautiful woman is portioned of with some
ascetlcl eccesiastic who supposes all beauty to
be a snare of Satan None Of the ladies are
/ comfortable. Their feet are cold their heads
are not their arms are SO confined by their tight
low dresses that they can hardly cut their food.
ana, moreover, their skirts are being crushed by
| the cr0wding chars on either side. In fact they
Sie altogether got up as If for dance, when 10
" euie exercise supplies some reason for scanty
Inc mem man nearest the host is in agony about
~ iatge and ooardlke shirt front; what n thar
infatuated carver at the end Of the toble sho,,Id
Splash MN he Is afraid to look off the dish
ne Is fascinated by the play Of The CARVING
knile ana Il he does turn his head, bis shirt col.
~ ,ahes y Nv aci Of seli-abnegaton to address
Il......
OIL changing the position. The halrs Are hacked
SO closely that each time The lootnan iries Ia
reach anything on the table, lns shouder.knots
tear down chignou Sometimes sauce descends