The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1872-09-12
CHAPPAQUA,
(Which is in the State Nv Moo York; :

CHAPPAoUA,
(Which is in the State Moo York;
August %, 1872.
1t wuz determined by our resident COM
mittee that it wood be a joOdishus thing
to do to hev the great and good Greeley
go on a toor thro the States Nv New
Hampshire and Maine, to encourage the
week, and to sekoOr the vassallatin in
those States l opposed it, ez l he'd he'd
some experience with trips. hevin accom-
panied the immortal Johnson on all Nv
hizzen. I was overrooled, but they con-
coded to me the arrangement Nv the tOor,
tho they took control Nv the great and
good man from the start to its concloo-
sion. They insisted that it wood hev two
good effects: 1st, We should dodge the
frekent delegashuns witch affict US at
Chappaqua; and, Cd, That the exhibition
Nv Horris would hev a good effeck on the
rooral populis. 7 yieldid, and set about
f1ttn him for the Journey. he'd very
difficult job to git the philosopher up
properly for the occashen. l took whet-
stun and rubbed the inside Nv hiz right
hand for hours, till it perdoosed SIGH cal
lous spots onto it ez the most horny
handed labrer in Vermont mite be proud
Nv, and instructed him that when shakln
hands with the yeomanry to grip hard,
that there mite be no mistake ez to feelin
them callous spots on hlz labOr-hardened
hands. I then he'd him git out in the sun
two hours each day, with his face up-turn-
ed, till he become Drowned with exposure
to the elemence; after witch he'd badly
fttin SCOT Nv close made for him, that the
people mite feel that he he'd attempted to
! dress UP On their account, but that, after
all, he wuzn't accustomed to SO much
grandyer.
Then came the most difficult part Nv
the out-ftt1n biznis, which wuz to instruct
h oh, Init TcI1no dn6
charged him espeshelly that he shood
never menshun pollitix (ceptin that he
| mite now and then howl mildly suthin
about the era Nv good feelin) and shood
| be speshely keerful to dodge all them
| pints out Nv witch offence mite come.
| ''The toor," remarkt, sis to be one Nv
| sentiment. We are on pilgrimage to
| the looms Nv our ancesters-we are gOin
| to revisit the scenes Nv our childhood, ez
| it were; to revive renembrances Nv our
| youthful days and SIGH, and it must be
| confined strikly to that. hev arranged
| with our committees on the route to Or
| ganize for a spontaneous out-pourin Nv
the people to receive 700, and 700 must
| speek to EN- at each stoppin place. 1
wood recommend that your responses to
| the greetins be mostly alloOsions to the
| grandyer Nv the mountins, and the purity
| Nv the air and water, ard, above all,
| don't forgit the mother biZnis. Eff you
| Good ring in a verbal pikter Nv yoor
mother yearnin for nooZe Nv her absent
| son, it wood hev good effect 700
needn't trot out yoor father, for fathers is
| played out. It's the mother that teches
the popular heart And 700 must git
| yoor eyes in condishen to drop sympa-
| thizin teer or two eff occashen demands
| hev done good things before now, by
weepin perfoosely at the rite time.''
Thus prepared, the farmer-statesman
| left the classic shades Nv Chappaqua.
! The mint the procession he'd started
| onto its toor, [ packt my valise with
! bottle, and possibly shirt or two (tho I
| really forgit about the latter, paying SO
| little attenshun ez I do to the mere luxu-
| RES Nv life), and started for an interior
| village Nv Pennsylvany, where | made a
speech last year, and Consistently knowed
| all the principal Demokrats. put up at
the old familyer tavern, where the ticket
I knowed to be good. I he'd barely time
to hist in three or four slugs afore it wuz
noised abroad that wuz there. In twenty
minits person appeared to interview
me. He interdoost hisself ez a Mr.. Slod-
gers-a Liberal Republil1in, who he'd de-
| termined to vote for Honest Old Horace
askt him to drink, witch he did, and then
went on. He wuz disguised with the
corruption and rascality Nv the
Republican party, and felt that he
must leave it. He wantfd purity
he yearned for a return to suthin
beside office-seekin. Hence, he he'd
decided to support Greeley "But,"
resumed he, 81 hev made sacrifices in
this, and | must hev ashoorenccs. wuz
an unsuccessful applicant for the post
office in this village under LinKin, in
1861; then agin in 1866. | succeeded in
gittin it Nv johnson in 1866, when the
then incumbent wuz dismist, and held it
till April, 1869, when the tyrant Grant
dismissed me and reappinted my prede-
cessor, and left me to languish all these
years without offishel position, and to
subsist on the petty earnins Nv my wife,
witch is milliner. Eff Horris is elected,
kin l hev that offs? / kin control the
Liberal vote Nv this county, sir. l hold
it in the holler Nv my hand"
ssSay no more, sir" sed l. az fully APP
preshiate yoor posishen. Wv course kin
make no positive promise; but it is safe
to say, sir, that the posishen shell be
yoors. But tnat Liberal Republican vote,
sir, must be all polled. We shell hold 700
responsible for it,
He left the presence profoose of thanks,
and l took four more drinks, hand run
min.
Mr.. Slodgers hedn't any more than got
out, when another citizen entered and
announced hisself ez a Libral Republikin,
Wlch his name WuZ PERKINS. lie wanted
to be understood, to begin with. ez holdin
the Libral Republican vote in his hand.
He Good control it. Without his aid
nothin Good be done with it. He created
it, and he held it to-day. But he he'd made
sacrifices. He he'd bin a candidate for
Treasurer Nv the county reglerly from
1855 to date; bIt he'd alluz bin defeated
by fraud. The last time he wuz defeated
by fraud-he hedn't but two votes in
the county convention-his uncle and
brother-in-law. He wuz disguised with
the offis-seekin party, but Good he be
ashoored Nv the post offs in the event Nv
Greeley's elecshen? He felt that eff he ever
wuz agoin to hev an offs this wuZ the
time. He wanted that post offs from the
time he wuz twenty-one years old.
without my inf1ooence," sed he, ''the
Libral Republican in this visinity will be
nothin. I, sir, hold that vote in the holler
Nv my hand. Kin hev that off1s?"
he'd taken two drinks while talkin to
him and wuz oblivius Nv every thing that
preceded it. l replied that uv course we
coodn't make promises now, but that he
shood rest easy. | felt that there wood
be nothin in the way Nv his appointment
the minnit the Farmer Nv Chappaqua
should be inoggerated. "But, sir, the
Liberal Republican vote must all be out