The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1872-09-11
SCRAPS.

"Sleepy eye" is the name OF a
Minnesota railway station.
Georgia girls use none but reli-
gious papers for their Sunday bus
Ties.
Flaminus Olympiostnes Agrippa
Williams sets type ia San Francis
co,
Bangs writes to his editor: "We
don't want advice, give us advices. :"
The Little Rock (Ark.) RepubA-
can heads a column with Laughing
Gas"
The Detroit Free Press mentions
noble boy who has sold almost
enough fypaper to buy his sister a
harp.
A Poughkeepsie paper records
an accident as having happened to
one who s'acts in the capacity OF a
hackman'' in that city.
DR.. Greeley has been done in SUI
gar by an enterprising confectioner,
and now every little shaver in the
country goes in for licking him.
A Pennsylvania country editor,
determined to improve his paper,
has started the good work by pur-
chasing a copy of Browns gram
mar. gS
Some unscientifc thief recently
robbed a journalist of his valise in
Baltimore train. He secured
about two dollars worth Of writing
paper.
Barnum's gorilla was heard to re-
mark, one hot day, that he'd be
IF he'd wear a hair overcoat
much longer this hot weather for
$40 a week.
q The man who never told an edit
: or how he could better his paper
has gone out West to marry the
woman who never looked into a
looking-glass.
A Leavenworth editor doesn't
now spend time watching the little
busy wasp that gathered lint in his
sanctum to make its nest. He
came in one day and did not OBJ
serve that the wasp was sitting In
his chair.
The statistician of an, eastern
paper AYERS that the flies are SO
ygood-natured this season that a
well-organized one will allow him
self to be brushed off an editors
nose eighty seven times and not
showan temper.
A Connecticut paper says: If
that aceordeon artist who SO assid-
yionsly practices s'Shoo Fly and
other classical music, opposite this
office, will call at the American
Consups house, Honopulu, he will
be literally rewarded.
A veteran was relating his ex--
PLOTS to a crowd Of boys, and mes
toned having been in five engage
ments.,
.; sThat's nothing" broke in a
little fello; "my sister Agnes has
been engaged eleven times" =.
Not surprising.-"Goo morn
ing, Patrick; you have got a new
coat at last, but it seems to tit you
rather too much. y .',-
.Och there's nothing surprising
in that. Sure, / wasn't there when
I was measured for it, r
ssShallI help you to alight?'
said young gentleman, addressing
abouncing country girl, who was
preparing to jump from a carriage
in front of drygoods establish
ment.
"Thank you, SIR sweetly replied
the girl, "but I don't smoke.
Engaged or Married. = When
you see two young persons seated
in the centre Of pew in church,
you can make up your mind that
they are engaged, or going to be;
but when one is at the head and
the other at the foot Of the pew,
you can Immediately determine that
they are married.
Said a wine-merchant to his por'
ter, whom he wanted to leave a
while in his cellar:
sIll chalk your mouth, so that
can tell if you drink any wine
while I am gone;;" at the same time
drawing his thumb nail over the
man lips, as. though he were chalk
ing them.
The porter drank as much wine
as he wanted, and then chalked hi!
mouth SO as not to, be detected, ane
by that means exposed himself te
his shrewd master. :
saPotatoes!" cried a darkey ped
dler in Richmond. "Hush da
racket-you distracts de whole
neighborhood," came from a col
ored woman in a doorway "Yor
kin hear me, kin you p ''Hcal
YOU! I kin hear you a mile
ssThank God for dat-Ise hollowln
to be heard. Tatoes" {"