The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-08-01
NASBK
A vOOa Democrat geHe-KldeF Pen
nt5aeEeF's Dealh-Hhat killed him.

Iks1CEbfb BcatA-u udt AA-lDN AliA'
CoNFEDRIT Y ROADS, I
(wich is in the State Nv Kentucky I
July 20, 1872 }
I heV bin smitten Deaths icy
hand hez removed from our midst one
who WIZ to-wunst an ornament and 8
piiler. Elkanah Pennibacker is No
more.
Elder Pennibacker WIZ a native Nv
Kentuclzy indeed no other State Good
hev perdoOst sch a man. lie wuz
born IN the very house In wich be
died, or rather he died in wat Wuz left
oft. 1t he'd bin q large house wunst,
but when Linkin emansipated the
niggers, and the Elder and his six
sons wuz deprived Nv labor, they
found Ii impossible to git drewOOd.
After the rail fences wuz gone they
commenced on the house, and he'd
yoOsed it all up but four rooms.
The death of this good nan is doc
to the Greeley movement. He never
wGz capable nv understandin Il, and
st first refOozed to yield 70 it. He re-
foOzed to buy one Nv the white hats
Wich bret back from Cincinnati, and
BascOm wuz forst 10 take stern meas
ures with him. ''Nary drink, Elder,
till It goes under that hatw That
fetched him. Heput it on.
"WatdO we want TO take up Gree
ley for % he asked.
f'To beat Grant withf' Iansered.
"Why not take up Grant to beat
Greeley with 2" replied this honest,
tho obtoose, old man, to wich didn't
say q word, fndin an anser somewat
difficult.
He accepted Greeley however, tho il
WIZ mostly becoz we insistid on It,
but he did Il in q daSed sort Nv 3 way,
and WIZ never hisself afterward. He
deliberately cut down two hiekories
wich Ee he'd In front Nv his house, and
he spent the most Nv his time spellin
out articles IN an old copy ~ the Irt-
boon.
apm a Dim0crat," (" sed be, sadly,
with q puzzled look, s'and md, Ak
kording 70 my candidate fur Presi-
dent, that I'm s hoss-thief, 8 Liar, q
perjerd yillin, q SUM, harlOt, and
chat Pm bought with British gold.
amt harlOt, and never wuz, and ef
I've bin bought with British gold,
where's the gold? Good Hevinsi I
I shel 90 mad"
And the wretchid old saint, who
was afflicted with mind wich Wuzn't
calkelated 20 grasp the suttleties Of
modern polltix, wood rush out OV his
house into the field, and calm hisself
by communin with nacher.
Last Toosday we ratified. He ker-
ried torch and he'd ON a white hat,
but he sctid IN e very eccentric man
ner. He didn't keep in line, and Wuz
constantly murmurin 70 himself, 81
amt q harlot-I amt harlOt, and
never wuz" He went home without
takin nOthln at Bascom's, and then ]
knowed suthin wuz wrong. No Ken
tuckian kin survive his loss nv appe-
tite. II
It wuz ez I feared. Wednesday
mornin he wuz unable to rise from
his bed, and I went to see him. His |
mind WIZ wandering. In his delirium /
he asked me to pay him nine dollars /
and half wich borrowed Nv him I
five years ago. 1 Waz satisfied from 4
this that ne wuz failin. gave him a
little likker in spoon. wlch brot him !
to hisself. asfFHf
s'Parson, . sed he esomewhere I've ]
read an anecdOte nv a man Wich Wuz /
drunk, and Wich, ieanin up again a 1
rec, Yomited. While he Wuz c0ntem- l
platin the elected contents Nv his
stumick,- little dog came snufiin
around, and the man saw him, and
wuz amazed. nThunder'i he remark
ed, al know where I eat them craek-
srs, I mem bsr with utmost istinctness
where I got that boiony sassage, but
I'm me ef know where I ate that
dog" Parson I'm in the same fix. /
hev taken the Cincinnati emetic
aud its worked. know where I got
my ffee-trade, I remember distinkly
when swallowed State rites, but IsIn 7
I'D ef know where took In that
Greeley pup, with an Ablishn head
and high protective tariff tale. Par
ion, its too much.n And the good
bid man buried his head in the kiyerin
and wept vOciferous. ~
I left him, but returned in the after
noon. found him worse than ever.
He he'd deliberately gone to his closet
Ind taken out a banner Wich he he'd
proudly carried the year afore, wich
Greeley embracin a mig
yer woman witch weighed 200lbss, and
ned torn that banner from the snppOr-
in frame, and wrapped hisself into it.
ae hed1destroyed all the mOttOes Wich
We yoosed to carry, such ez mo Mig
yer supre macy; "White men shel
DOL Ameriky," and sich, remarkin,
z he regarded the wreck uve en- Il /
Ihel die parsO1, but I thOt best to
cave nothin behind that wood en-
)arrass gOO.n ] took occasion to hint
hat he he'd better add that note nv
land uv.mine TO the r0Oins, and be 4
ed sadly that It wood be ez wei. tfIt
lint wuth no more than the rest he
= u rfft4f Va EfE4
He got into bed agin and sunk into
! troubled slumber. In about an hour,
le awoke, when his .dlmed eye hap
Dened to rest onto the white hat Nv
nine, wich I he'd hung onto the bed
lost. He riz I'D in bed, holdin his
lands afOre his eyes eZ ef to shet out |
ONE horrid vision, and, shreekin vi (
identity, SINK back q CORPSE ~
Thus died Elder Pennibacker, one ;
" my first friends at the Corners. |
1e wuz stanch and stOOpid. He Wuz
, bleever in States rites, in Ham and
lager, and in Democracy. He died
rom a severe attack nv s0pposi1 Hors 4
Is Greeley to be ez honest ez he1wuz
limself. He VOOdent turn t-A6lish-
list for noofiic, and he spozed that !
iorris wuz still the same old hesthen
bat he alluz wuz. He bleeyed that Hor- s
is he'd swalIered the Dimocratic par
y, and do wat I Good, I Good not make (
i'm understand that the Dimocratic
arty he'd slavered Horris over with t
be Presidency and swallered him. !
'Oor old n1Enl He don't understand {
ich pOHitsheas e. Ido, or he wood Q
ev knowd better and lived. He Z
led Nv stoopidity, a disease, wich, eff f
wuz all1z fatal, wood redoOse our q
arty to mere nothin, noomerically. '
Deekin Pogram and I are adminis- s
.ators nv bis estate. Ez BascOm hez
mortgage on the farm for all It isl n
Iorth, our dooties viii be light.
here. amt been a crop raised on the
lace sence the emancipation Nv the 2
iggers, and Bascom heE f1rnisht him I
nd his sons his likkef eyer sencs on
OK. Most nv the property in this .
sinity Is in the same fix. Mine =
oOd be, but fortunately I haven't g
~. PETROLEUM V, NAsBY, Iei