The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1872-07-27

am gettin old and feelin my years. Time
wuz when ten or dozen drinks more than
yoosual didn't make any difference with
me, but it is quite different now. 1t tells
on my old body, and I hev to be guardid.
We he'd ratificashen meetin Taste mite,
at which I did indulge more than shood,
and l fell asleep in chair at Bascom's and
dreamed a dream.
In my dream saw high, elevated plain,
bounded on three sides by steep, precipit-
Gus bluff. On the top of that plain-what
a pleasant and breezy place it wuz-and
back somewhat from the edge Nv the pre-
cipice, stood that buildin which is the
Mecca to witch all Dimocrats hev bin turn
ing their eyes for the past twelve years
the White House. On the very edge Nv the
precipice wuz groop of individ0oals witch
1 he'd no difficulty in identifyin. There
WIZ Grant and Colfax, and around EN-
stood Morton, Butler, Sherman, Shellabar-
ger, and thousand others Nv SIGH, while
jist over their heads there wuz ffoatin the
spirits NV Washington, Adams, Jefferson,
Linkin and all Of them deceest individooals
witch would ev sympathized with the Re-
publikin party eff they had continyood in
the flesh.
Down at the foot NV this precipice there
wuz low, swampy, marshy, malarious
deestrik, which was the most uncomfort-
able seckshun NV kontry ever see. The
ground wuz full Nv eess-pools, Nv quag-
mires and quick-sands. There wuz bones
Nv niggers scattered all over it-there wuz
rooms Nv old skool-houses; there wuz gro
ceries and 'sloons scattered about in wild
profession; there wuz broken printing
presses, and the cheerful gallows-tree on
which John Brown he'd been hung wuz
distinctly visible. Attempts had bin ap-
parently made to kiver up the burnt skool-
houses and broken prlntin presses and the
gallcws with reselooshens, but the kiverin
WIZ too thin and they showed thro very
plainly. This spot was tenanted by Boss
Tweed and Holman, surrounded with Con-
molly, Oakley Hall and all Nv them fellows,
and over their heads wuz the ghosts Nv
Wigfall, Yancey and Benedict Arnold. I
thought 1 saw His Majesty, Satin, the l., sail
in about with the ghost of Yancey, but it
might hev bin some one else. There wuz
one quicksand marked where Seward went
down-in very bad smelling pool Chase
wuz tloatin about upon board marked
Supreme Bench" maxim feeble attempts
to land somewhere. There wuz few
solid spots Nv ground; Moo York, Ken
lucky and Maryland, and on them the live
were standin. From this unpromisin local
ity there wuz a path up to the heights
above, but it wuz narrer, broken, choaked
and steep, and, besides that, passages from
the lower to the higher region wuz desper-
ately opposed by the array Of men who ok
kepied it.
noticed the party on the bluff all wore
a sad expression. The ghost of Linkin let
fall y spirit tear, and Grant and Morton
lookt ez sad ez tho they was losin their
fathers. Colfax in pertikler looked incon-
solable, and wuz a tearin his hair with
grief Curious to know what it wuz that
vas causing all the commoshun, shifted
MY position SO eZ to get a view of the en-
tire arrangement and saw it at once
Tweed and Hoffman he'd histed up long
ladder to the top Nv the rock which wuz
really curiosity The side wuz made out
ov hickory campane poles which done ser
Wis from the time of Polk down to Seymour,
and the rounds were spokes from the
wheels Nv Confedrit cannon. The ladder
wuz Labelled Cincinnati" and the rounds
"civil servis REFORM" Zone term," and SO
the feet Nv the ladder steddy, and Boss
labelled Presidency" On the top of the
bluff stood Horris Greeley, clothed in glory,
and perfectly radiant in his attire. His old
head wuz crowned with laurels-in fact he
wuz a walkin arbor NV EN-. He had one
foot on the first round Nv the ladder.
"Come backv shouted Colfax.
"Come to usv' shouted the crowd be-
low.
"Come back to your friends, 700 idiot!''
sed Morton.
"Come to US, and you shall hev thisv'
sed Tweed, Haunting the scroll.
That settled him. His face changed
from the innocence Nv the lamb to the
hungry eagerness Nv the wolf, and he went.
He made a mis- step and parshelly fell,
knocking off all his laurels. His appear
ance changed. The ladder he'd bin rough
ly made, and wuz full Nv splinters. His
ekal rites coat caught on one NV EN- and
was torn off. A nail head on the next
round stripped off his protikshen coat,
another on the next knockt his anti-cor-
rupshen vest into smithereens, his civil
rites pants was taken off by the next, and
by the time he got to the fourth, he wuz
Invested uveverythin under heavens which
made him sizable, and miserable, deform-
ed, weak, shaky, diminutive, shrunken
man, with nothing under heaven remarka-
BILE about him but his white hat, and the fact
that he he'd one boot and one shoe on, and
stood there shivering in the wind.
Tweed and his friends saw this shrinkin
process goin on he approached them, and
they became alarmed.
GOOD Lord!' said Oakley Hail. "ef he
AIM any bigger and more muskeler than
he looks now we can't make any yoose NV
him. He'll never be strong enough to pull
us out NV this!'
Them on the bluff witch he'd regarded his
deparcher with SIGH looks NV sadness, bust
out in peels of laffture.
"There amt hundredth part ez much
Of him ez we sposed," shouted they
90 We've nothing to fear from himp' and
they LATED vociferously at the ridiculous
fgger he was maxim NV hisself.
All this time Horris wuZ standing on
The One Term round Nv the ladder, witch
wuz the thinnest Nv all Nv EN-.
"Come down to u.s." shouted Tweed.
al can't go any further down than
,hisv' said Horris, shudderin as he saw the
plight he wuz in.
Whereupon Tweed and Hall and the
others run up the ladder to support him.
They wuz dripping with the nastiness
rom the slum below, witch fairly kivered
he old man ez they rubbed agin him.
Then they threw upon him Tammany
,anner and Confederit flag. To keep
lin stiddy both Nv them run up the lad
Ter and got on the same round. Sam Sim
lair, John Cochran, and some others come
Town close behind him to assist, and the
yoonited weight was too much. The lad
Ter broke in two. and Tweed, Hoffman,
Greeley, Sinclair, Tribeon and all plunged
INTO the quagmire. There wuz splash, a
.irgle and the entire batch NV EN- sank out
~ sight.
The splash awoke me, and l meditated a
lalf hour over the singler dream afore TAX
n another drink and goin home. Kin it
,e." thot I, "that all there is in Horris is
lis Republicansm? 1t has trooly been so
With others Chase comes to us, but when
.e stepped over the line, he left all his
strength behind him. Seward, instead NV
,ein help to us, proved to be load to
,arry. Hev we taken HOrris to our boz