The Portland daily press., 1872-04-24
News, Gossip and Editorial Notes.

Il " b" r i
g" News, Gossip and Editorial Notes. i
Madam, said boarder to his landlady, 1
am very sure that this pepper is half peas.
Peas cried the lady bridling up. Peas, in
deed! That pepper is Smalt & Hommersly's
very best. You don't know anything about
pepper, sir, if you think there's peas in that.
For all that, madam. said the boarder, Pm
sure that pepper is peas--p-e-p, pep, per.
Six letters and three of the p. lHldsi1l
The marquis of Lorne's brother, Lord Wal
ter Campbell, who is in business at New
York, was recently introduced to young
American who had drank wine enough to be
supremely candid, and the words 'eLord Wal
ter Campbell caused him to say in loud
tone, ''that's played out-these English lords
are base counterfeits. have no objection to
meeting Mr.. Campbell, but i don't want to
have anybody pretend that he is lord.''
Lord Campbell accepted apologies, and re-
marked that he himself would wish to see the
credentials Of any one pretending to be no
bleman instead of accepting him on trust.
The Danbury Ne,cs tells of lady stranger
that town: "Where is your home, my little
sonp ?" she asked. 81 haint got no home," he
answered. SCOT no home ?'l she repeated,
the tears standing in her eyes. 'sNo, marm,''
said he, equally affected; 81 board"
An aged but rather rural deacon of Dan
bury, somewhat astonished his family on re-
turning from recent visit to Bridgeport, by
disclosing in the recesses of his capacious va
lise two valuable volumes in blue and gold, a
prize package containing gold coin, cake of
fig paste, two pictorial papers, and a package
OF ice-cream candy. He said a boy on the
cars gave him these things. He confessed
that the boy was an entire stranger, but fer
vently ''hoped heaven would paint him sky
blue If he ever forgot the kindness"
A famous English Judge had habit Of
begging pardon on every occasion. At the
close of the assize, as he was about to leave
the bench, the officer of the court reminded
him that he had not passed sentence of death
on one of the criminals, as he had intended.
''Dear me-" said his lordship;' 81 really beg
his pardon. Bring him in.'' iA. i' ii
There is a young lady in Hardin
County, Iowa, who'll pardon A
lll. l Amy sin you commit, Ill sgs....l +
Unless you should twit
Her about her own sweet Dolly Warden.
A few Sundays since a teacher in the Sun
day school an Episcopal church in Chica
go, said to on, of her pupils: "James, what
good thing-what great pleasure are you will.
ing to give up as a sacrifice during the Lent
en- season?' Jimmie meditated about ten
seconds, and responded: 81 think I'll give up
going to Sunday school. fna.u-s. tsr
The camel and the Christian receive theil
burdens kneeling.
Yellow sea serpents permeating brigh
green sea covered with scarlet Victoria Re
gia would be a nice thing in Dolly Vardens
Some months ago Chief Justice Chase
bought twenty-five acres of land in Rhode
Island, and was credited with an intention o
purchasing the rest of the State at the earliest
opportunity. This would seem now to b.
within his grasp, as a cemetery lot contain
ing $50 feet of surface is for sale.
The st. Louis Christian Advocate is evi
IDENTIFY unfit for circulation in the Esse
district. 1t says: ''We do not pretend to az
count for Satan. We cannot understand tn
propriety of his existence any more than W
can that of General Benjamin Butler; bu
both are facts in the world, which we receiv
upon competent testimony"
A contemporary suggests that the tailor
should get up "Simon Tappertit" suits 70
the men, to match the Dolly Warden" of tn
ladies, which is the meanest joke yet made Of
this prolific subject -,-., f.-.,.
There are four thousand Quakers in Mort
Carolina. & a--l1 Trs ..iHy .
Capital punishment was abolished in Nol
way nearly twenty years since. -..-..
Sweet Vengeance is the classic name of
town iu Yuba County, Cal. ir a.- ta.1 +
A farmer is planting peach orchard {
seventy-five hundred trees near Shawne'
town, iii.
Thus far three of the fourteen person
whose names were attached to call for
Liberal Republican meeting in Detroit, den
that it was done with their authority.
Hon. VIM, II. Armstrong, of Lycomin
County, denies that he signed the Pensylv;
mia Liberal Republican call. He is anotht
Of the steadfast friends of Grant.
Col. Adds Hays of the Burlington IN. j
Enterprise, denies most emphatically thl
he ever wrote to Scovell, as alleged, that
''would go to Cincinnati, if he had to 6
alone;'' and adds: "We shall go to Philade
| phia, and, with the peals of the Old Stat
house bell ringing in our heart, we shall Civ
three times three hearty cheers for Grant, ft
the Union saved, and the Republican Part
perpetuated." -.
The political contest in Oregon is repre-
sented as about the bitterest ever waged.
Nitro-glycerine is called "orphan elixir,"-
a whole chapter in two words.
The editor of the Puebla Chieftain knows
man who has discovered mountain of han
soap near that place, and, what is still quee
er, this abnormal mineral production is seen
ed. The editor has washed himself with Il
article in question and is astonished at the r
suit, pronouncing it to be of very superit
quality. At the base of this saponaceou
mountain is river, affording an exceileI
site for great international laundry. @
A correspondent of the N. Y. Times make
a careful and elaborate review OF the situ'
ton in Illinois showing up clearly the selns
motives which influence Gov. Palmer IN n
Cincinpati-ward views. From his oDserv;
tions he derives the conclusion ''that tn
popular ground swell in Illinois is for Graz
and oglesby, and neither Palmer nor polit
,;,rs can withstand it." i
Gen. Gilman Marston is new candidai
for election to the United States Senate frol
New Hampshire.
Wendell Phillips predicts that the presel
Republican party will not outlive the presel
campaign. Wendell is not quite infallible.
Sapphires (blue) have become so very fas
ionable lately as to have exhausted the supp
in the hands of the jewellers.
Gen. N. P. Banks has authorized positi'