Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1872-02-08
Humorous and Witty.

a SADDLE HORSE is not necessarily i'll.
tempered because it takes a fence
readily.
Why does a sculptor die the most
horrible OF deaths2 He makes faces
and busts,
An old lady says of certain pom
pous clergyman, that he seems filled
with the divine inlaters.
A WESTERN editor reports money
''close, but not near enough to be
reached.n
Who was perhaps the only person
who went to sea for fear of drowning2
NOAH
'IF / am stuck up, Tn not proud"
as the butterfly said when pinned to
the side Of the showcase.
An Illinois clergyman forbade any
further contributions under FIVE cents,
saying that the widows mite business
is played out here"
A MAN out West has just returned
! from an Indiana camp-meeting. He
says that the right spirit prevailed
tasted il ont Of a black jug.
"THosE who buy t0mbstones of us
/ look with pride and satisfaction on the
I graves oi their friends, is the adver-
! tisement of western stone cutter.
/ A TEMPERANCE editor, in drawing at
teption to an article against ardent
'For the Effects OF Intemperance see
our inside.
A YOUNG student wants us to tell HIM
! ii Wore. ester spells Wooster, why
R,o-c-h.e-s-t-e-r don't spell Rooster.
| We give it up, as we are not engaged III
getting up dictionaries.
"IAREy, said q mother to her little
boy, "vou shouldn't throw away nice
bread like that; YOU may wantit before
You die. " GLOW ,ould get it, though,
if eat it now9" Harry asked
| " PUTTY-EYEp monster" is what APP
poared III the paper of a Tennessee
editor, who wrote with respect, pretty
aged minister. The sons of the min
lister interviewed " the editor the next
morning with shot guns.
MARKET REpoRTs. Tongue plenty,
but going fast; brain scarce and want
ed; cheek, fun supply; pluck, market
bare; hearts unsteady, price iluctua-
ting, mostly sold for cash.
A BAY CRY man paid heavy express
charges on box labeled Gan Austria
lian mocking bird handle with care"
and found it contained, rs he profanely
remarked, "only an old turkey COB
bier.
SAMMY thinks he would learn much
more at school if he did lSet have to at
tend to his own book all the time.
4" Because" he says, il l study my
own book all the time ! shall only learn
what there is in it, but if / hadn't any
book to study, / should know all that
the whole school are reciting. y
GRACE GREENWOOD, in her lecture on
&C The Heroic in Common Life tells a
Arizona Legislature, whose house when
her husband was absent on his
legislative duties was attacked by In
dams. She shot six, and the next day
wrote to her husband "Dear John,
the Apaches attacked the rancho. |
have won the fight, You need not come
yourself, but send some more nmmu'
milton.
A WHOLE seminary full of Kalamazoo
girls are travelling in the old world, and
recently one of them wrote an account
of their ascent of the pyramids with
the Emperor of Brazil, and remarked
! that the young ladies were assisted in
their ascent by rude natives The let
ter was published in Michigan paper,
and the sentence alluded to was typo
graphically metamorphosed thus "We
were assisted in our ascent by nucte nv
tives. y
THE numor of the late James Fisk,
'Jr, Of which so much has been recent
ly said, is illustrated in his reply to
body of his fellow citizens Of 'Brattle-
boro, who wished him to assist in put
ting a new fence about the very grave
yard in which Fisk was last week
buried. He said to the astonished APP
plicants: "No not cent. You don't
need fence there. Those that are in,
are in no danger breaking out; and
those that are out, surely have no de
sire to break in"
GUEsT-''How comes this dead fly in
my soupln Waiter--"ln fact, sir, l
have no positive idea how the poor
thing came to its death Perhaps it
had not.taken any food for long time
dashed upon the soup, ate too much of
it, contracted an inham nation of the
stomach that brought on death. The
| fly must have a very weak constitution,
for when served the soup it was dane
ing merrily upon the surface Perhaps
and the idea presented itself only at
this mument--it endeavored to swallow
too large piece of vegetable; this
remaining fast in its throat, caused n