Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-10-25
Gleanings.

| AiciA III Cts L uul.
The Empress Of China makes his
Majesty toe the mark
George Sand has earned 100000 with
her little pen.
Because his girl went back on him
Herbert H. Mills, of Madison, drowned
himself in the lake.
Thirty-three exiled Capuchins from
| Guatemala are on their way to Milwau-
kee to settle there
Every eight hundred residents of San
Francisco divide the witching smiles Of
one widow between them.
A Swiss gymnast lately attempted to
| take up barrel with his teeth and throw
it over his head He died.
The passionate are like men standing
on their heads; they see all things the
wrong way.
A swearing parrot who whistles "Old
John Brown" and makes life burden
by singing 'LaMarseillaise" in most exc
cradle French, is the newest wonder in
Detroit
M. Aramand Dumarlsey, celebrated
French artist, has gone to Geneva to
make picture of the Tribunal of Arbi-
tration.
Miss Deborah Dodge of Concord, n.
H., at the age of II, has lodged the re-
spensibilites of old maidism.
Items about Miss Emily Faithful meet
ones eye so persistently in the newspa-
pers that it looks like case of being
Faithful unto death
w. G. Plummer, Titusville (Pa
editor, was so badly beaten by rufian a
day or two since that his recovery is
doubtful.
A farmer bad calf so contrary, he
said, that he chad to pull his ears off to
make him suck, and pull his tail off to
make him let go.'
We are told that "the evening wore
on" but we are never told what the
evening wore On that occasion. Was it
the CLOSE" of a summer day?
A Danbury man has an interesting
heirloom in the shape of hat which
was worn through 191 drunks, and still
retains traces of its former beauty.
II am speaking" said a long-winded
orator, for the benefit of posteritv."
eyes" said one of his hearers, "and if
you keep on much longer your audience
will be here"
A Western editor keeps the following
notice posted conspicuously in his office:
Shut the door, and, as soon as YOU have
done talking business, serve your mouth
in the same way"
The World assures us that if the North
Pole explorers should ever be so FORUM
ate as to get to that locality, they could
not by any possibility return, since the
attraction of gravitatien would at the
quiescent pole make a man so heavy
that no effort of human muscles could
raise his foot from the ground
The following undesignedly whimsical
conclusion of an Grafton in Paris over
the grave of Republican was made by
a brother red: "Citizen X was true
republican, which character he never
falsified one instant in his life. He died
as he lived-he succumbed from indiqes.
ton"
Two Cardinals found fault with an
eminent painter for having in one of his
pictures given too forid complexion to
SIS. Peter and st. Paul. Gentlemen
replied the artist, ill-pleased with the
criticism, ''do not be surprised; I paint
them just as they look in Heaven. They
are blushing to see the church so badly
governed"
Tommy was found IN a most perilous
situation on the house-top, and having
been secured alive and whole by ginger.
bread stratagem and sugar pulm persua-
sions, he confessed that he was tempted
out there with his pencil to cypher a
little, 'the states looked so bully"
The other Sunday the following was
posted up in the lobby ofthe Cambridge,
Washington county Presbyterian Church:
'.Notice-The person who stole Songs of
the Sanctuary from seat No 80 should
improve the opportunity of singing them
here, as they will have no occasion to
sing them hereafter"
Unless you give me aid" said beg
gar to benevolent lady, Il am afraid I
shall have to resort to something which
should greatly dislike to do" The lady
handed him dollar and compassionately
asked, "What is it poor man, that have
saved you FROM" "Work," was the
mournful answer.
Spinks says he knows just the kind of
dwelling his wife wants, because she has
described it to him. She wants "a house
large enough to accommodate eight per
sons, with . parlor, dining-room, five
bedrooms, nursery, bath broom, closets in
every room, basement kitchen, cemented
cellar, and high attics all on the first
floor"
There Is said to be man living in
Waco, Texas, Who has been married five
times, and is the father of fifty legitimate
children-thirteen boys by his first wife,
eighteen children, boys and girls, by his
second wife; ten by his third wife: six bv
his fourth and three by his fifth wife.
| Twenty of his sons served in the Con-
federate army, eight ofwhom were killed;
seven died natural deaths; and the re-
mainder are still living.
A schoolmaSter gave out one morning
as reading lesson to his first class that
| portion of the Merchant of Venice" in
which the pound of flesh" scene occurs.
The reading finished, he asked the class
what Shylock meant when he said, "My
| deeds upon my head" "Well," said the
tallest boy, Il don't know, unless he car,
ricd his papers in his hat"
A clever old lady, just arrived from the
country, entered the refreshment room at
a railroad station the other day, and said
she had left her parasol on the settee. A
general search commenced and lasted for
some time, Finally one of the walters
asked the old dame when she left it, to
which she answered, on counting up on
her fingers, "Well, it was just three years
ago last Fourth of July" There was a
general roar, much to the astonishment
of the old lady, who went away with a
very puzzled look upon her countenance.
The following old story of Greeley has
been revived: ut seems that the sage
attended the Minnesota State Fair, and
was presented with a heavy ripe prize
tomato, weighing three pounds, which he
wrapped in his red silk handkerchief and
placed it in his coat tail pocket. He then
walked around for while, sitting on
various benches, and then riding in
lumber wagon up town. When he got
to the hotel the crowd called upon him
for speech. He went on the porch, and
felt for his handkerchief to wipe his brow.
4