The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1872-05-30
Wise and Otherwise.

Nay: He planned for the birds with the larger
Wise and Otherwise.
An oyster leads placid life until
he gets into stew.
Irony-Te ask a hardware mer-
chahftbe price Iof cast<steel soap.G9 81
MqttSgfcr an old Ibachelor-Begju just
The height of young lady's ambi-
tion-Two little feet.
A dandy resembles the cinnamon
tree; the bark is of greater value than
the bodys ~
A sp55FtHiye 5AH huhtsrof - r B Dstroit Who sI5
kept flask of whiskey with him on
shooting trip, struck race course
ia the suburbs on his return, and
walked nround it all night, wonder
ing why he didn't get to town.
prisoner. why did you follow this
man, and beat and kick HIM SO shame
fully? ?D Il am sorry, your honor /
was a little drunk, and thought ii
was my wife,
Al widow, who has married and
lost five husbands, remarks: aWid-
overs never die of grief; although
crushed to the earth by their sorrow,
like truth they rise again and revive.
A wag out west, who read that dry
copperas put ifse |afbed &C ants would.
cause them to leave, but some in his
mother-in-law's bed, to see If she
would not go. He said she was there
at last accounts.
Horace Greeley, oins his fsEssay on
Farming" says that the only way to-
effectually destroy widows weeds"
soil, is for the husbandman to say,
"Wilt thou p They generally wilt.
Moro psA than ! lsasau tus-I
banit+{sI hope you have no dbjsction
to my getting weighed? p "Cerfain-
ly not, my dear; but why ask the
question:" "Only to see, my love,
if you would allow me to have my
weigh for once-I a5 sasl.aeo s9..is.sao
A young man went into a florists
store on Washington street to buy
rosebud for his afiianced. Seventy
five cFnfs was the price sskeds in
it keepW ihqaired1 the yonng, man,
"Oh, yes, q long while. aThen YOU
may keep it. Exit young man.
'sTell that man to take off his hat in
court" said judge, the other morn
ing to an officer. The offender, who
turned out to bea lady, wearing the
fashionable sailor hat, Indignantly ex-
claimed @I am no man, sir ~ tsThen,v ~
said his honor, Il am no judge"
"Do you execute this deed without
any fear or compulsion of your has
band ?" asked a commissioner of deeds
of a woman whose acknowledgment
of a deed helwas taking. tFear of
my husbandp exclaimed the irate
lady, "He-compeI-mel You're D.
foolp And she swept indignant from
the commissioners office.
An archaeological correspondent ad-
duces as evidences of the antiauify of
the game Of euchre, The passage in the
New Testament which relates how the
priest and the sLevite passed. and
thellgood Samaritan assisted. ."a 3. 80. Z.
ssI'fn sItting on the stvle,, Nj aErry..yy a
fellow remarked when be squatted
himself upon his sweetheart's new
head gear.
1t has been discovered that the diff
ference between tweedle-dee and
tweedle-dum is that while the. one
has bark ON stheiother has been peel
ed.
An exchange prints chapter of the
Bible without credit. How on earth
are publishers TO know where 1t came
from. .ss .....ssss,-,y
William, who used to boast that he
didn't owe a dollar and never would,
found that in less than q year after
his marriage he had q little Bill to
take mp every sday.a4so9
The jolly local of paper in Boone
county says: "Come where my love
lies dreaming-an6 see how she looks
without any paint on her face"
"Bill,p said one apprentice to anoth-
er, 81 don't like boss as is alters
round his shop interfering with his
own business. " sF s ,.''. Z. .ss.ss .1 -
A middle-aged boy, writing COM
position on s"Extremes,H remarked
that 1--WE should endeavor to avoid
extremes-especially those of wasps
and bees.
Pfogressiye teacher to a papifef the
period: "Sary Jane Hooker. just
take that chewing gum right out of
your mouth. Little girls who chew
become President 9of the United
"Get out out of nv wayAwhat are
you good for ?' said cross old gem
tleman, to little bright-ey ed urchin,a
who happened to stand in the way.
The little fellow, as he stepped one
side, replied very gently: :" They
make men out of such things as we
are.1 - - 3ss ~
A. GURIeUs sSENTENcE.-The follow
ing curious sentence-"Sator 1repo
tenet opera rotds," is not first class
Latin but can be freely translated,
will wear away his Wheels 1t has
forwards and back wards the same
second, the first letters of each word
spell the first word; third, all the Sec
ond letters of each word spell the Sec
.ond word; fourth, all of third, and so
ON all Vthroughs the fourth, and fifth 8
then we find that the last letters of
each word spell the first word the
next to the last of each word spell the
second word and SO on through
----sss--- Z = q =
The latest t5inxention srcomess from
Delaware. A man down there, hav-
ing heard that the earth revolves at
the rate of fabout one tho o6sand miles
an hour, has afranged a plan for GO
ing up in a balloon and remaining sta
tionarys6w hile the earth is permitted
to slide away beneath He thinks
that by this means he can reach Gall
ifornia in a couple of hours merely by
shooting up from Wilmington in his
balloon, and thenZdroppiDg down
again as soon as the Rocky Mountains
are observed to go past. He has the
whole thing arranged now in perfect
orderCths balloon, and the place to