Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

The editor of the Troy Times is will
ling to give ten dollars for one good look
at Mrs. Scott Siddons. What curious
creatures these editors are
A man having bought thousand Ha-
vana cigars, on being asked what he
had, replied that they were tickets to
a course of lectures-by his wife.
The Boston Coliseum was sold week
ago Saturday, for ten thousand five hun
dred dollars. The Globe says it is worth
that sum for fire wood.
The Pope on hearing of the marriage
of Pere Hyacinthe, wittily remarked,
'the saints be praised, the renegade has
taken his punishment into his own hands.
The ways of Providence are inscrutable. "
Small, but active bootblack to the
wearer of thirteens: ''Say, boss, let me
black yer boots Do it for five cents an
acre, and warrant it done before sun
down."
An intelligent German, ON his first
visit to an American church, had con-
tribution box with a hole in the top pre-
seEted to him, and whispered to the col
lector:-'I don't got mein bapers, unit
can't vote
Devotion to public opinion was evlnced
by lady aged eighty, who recently mar
ried man of a correspondingly appro-
pirate age. Because" she said, "he
comes about my house so much, if don't
marry him people will talk"
Forty seven years ago Adolphe Theirs
arrived in Paris with less than forty
frances in his pocket. The first employ
ment he found was as proof-reader Of
Paul de Knocks novels. He is now the
President of France.
BIG WoMAN.-Last week there was ex
hibited here (Elizabethtown) woman of
monstrous proportions, said to weigh
SIS pounds She is unquestionably a
large piece of human flesh. and, as a
young man who saw her said, "She is
more than one armful, ~ Inquirer.
Il am glad" said missionery to an
Indian chief, ''that you do not drink
whiskey; but it grieves me to find that
your people use so much of it." All,
yes, " said the red man, and he fixed an
impressive eye upon the preacher, which
communicated the reproof before he ut
tered it, 1--WE Indians do use a great deal
of whiSkey, but We do not make it"
What are you drawing, Anna? Use
making your pictur." So the gentleman
sat very still, and she worked away very
earnestly for while Then she stop
ped, compared her work with the origin
al, 3, and shook her sne ttIf Is,S head don't
deal like you. [ dess I'll put a tail tc
it and call it a dog
There was once an old woman, who
in answer to visitors almoner's in
quiries as to how she did. said: "Oh
sir, the Lord is very good to me,-Iv'
lost my husband and my eldest son, anC
my youngest daughter, and I'm hal
blind, and I can't sleep or move abou
for the rheumatics I; but I've got tw
teeth left in my head, and praise ant
bless His holy name, they're opposit
each other %
An English lady of family and for
tune, aged thirty, has bestowed hear
and hand upon youth of seventeen
whose occupation has hitherto been at
tending the "leader' of an omnibus an
attaching drags to wheels of carriages
The lady was district visitor, and haE
pening to call upon the lads mother
who was an invalid, she was so struc
with his devotion that she thought
would be good thing to have in th
family.
A New FoundIand dog belonging
A. B. Newman, assistant light ship keel
er at Mount Desert, Maine, saw New
mans little child carried off into tt
waves by the undertow, and not on
rescued him, but tried to resusticate hi
after bringing him on the shore. Fai
ing in this. the intelligent animal toe
5 the boys hat and ran to the house wit
it, and laid it beside the lad mothe
:. He than ran to the father, and takil
hold of him, ran to the shore.
An elderly Detroit man startled C
load of passengers recently while Il
a train was under full headway, by su
t denly rushing to the platform and jun
: ing off, turning about forty somersaul
: before he brought up against the fenc
He appeared at the nearest depot in
short time, looked all around, and th
/ exclaimed: What an old fool; thoug
a [ had left my umbrella here and jun
S ed off the cars to get it, and now ha
me if | don't remember chucking it u
der the seat. -
A Troy youth who sings in the CHI
of one of the fashionable churches, a
IL who recently had his hair cut, gets
l. following notice from the Utica Heral
# 'He isn't going to have himself clipp
so again, for the next night follow
the hair cutting he had to sing a so
! "Cover my defenceless head, and
r rest of the choir laughed, and the ct
re gregation smiled, and the minister Loo
|. ed pleasant. and the soloist looked she'
4 ish, and longed to get into the shad
= of somebody's wing, but his girl v
down stairs grinning with the rest,
+; that he had to blush under the glare
d, the gas light, and-well, after this,
ch is going to wear his hair la Tilt
that's ALL .
in In the Paris Court of Correctio
er Police recently. a lady, by no me-
. young. advanced coquettishly to the v
ness stand to give her testimany. "W
at is your name?'' Virginia Loustato
Id What is your age?' '.Twenty-fy
ID (Exclamations of incredulity from
audience.) The lady's testimony be
!, taken. she regained her place, still
~ quettishly bridllng, and the next :
up ness was introduced This was
go. grown young man. Your name ?'' s
r the Judge. '.lsadore Loustatot. '.Ag
s.lyaptv y "a vo,, n