Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1872-06-05
Unhappy Marriages.

There is nothing more melancholy But
what shall we do about i'll Must people un-
happily married live on 10 remediess misery ?
Must man be forever chained to Kan
tippe2 Must woman always endure a man
who is petty tyrant? These are quefiions
which some social reformers are asking vehe.
mently Just now. Let us loose these bonds,
and let these chained people 60. What right
has the law, civil or moral, to bind people in
a living death ? Let people live together
Who love, and let people who do not love 60
free
This surely seems very simple remedy
very easily applied. But is it a remedy af-
ter all2 VIII either of these unhappily
married people be any happier if they are
separated2 You have husband or wife who
makes you exceedingly unhappy. Will d.
vorce relieve you2 You carry still the mem
ory Of the unhappiness, the sense Of disap-
pointment, the fatal and terrible blight with
you. viii not separation aggravate your
misery2 And if one of the two might be
made happy by divorce there would be no
aggregate increase of happiness. If you
have made mistake in marriage, it is your
mistake. If you are not happy, your com
panion surely is not And you have no
right now to blight and blast the life Of an-
other unfortunate by a separation, making
matters tenfold worse than they are.
People who are unhappily married are not
likely to remarry happily. If there are tenn
pers that have spoiled the FIRST marriage,
there is no prospect of better fate in Sec
ond marriage. To these evil tempers there
is added the shameful recollection Of mar
rage bond to one who is yet living, aud the
humiliation and dishonor Of divorce. For
marriage is in its very nature indissolube.-
There cannot be a re-marriage while former
husband or wife lives without hopeless de-
Element of the souls purity, bunting and
blurring Of the very sense Of purity itself.
If there are children, the case is worse.
He who is a father indeed, would endure any
unhappiness rather than subject his children
TO the modification and decentralization OF a
divided 6lial affection aud conflicting alegi-
ance to father aud mother. In such case,
divorce and remarriage is confusion, destruc-
tion, death.
We know it seems hard for those who sit
down in loving homes to advise those who sit
in the shadow Of this death to endure it, We
are not speaking of those cases of brutality
or hendishness 10 which separation becomes
necessary but Of those continual droppings
and perpetual " rainy days of pickering and
dissensiou, of those sudden and fierce storms
that sweep through some unhappy households.
No separation on account Of incompatibility
Of temper can do any good.
Part Of the unhappiness in any family may
be cured by any husband or wife. A bad
temper is as much misfortune as sin II is
born with some people, and they are no more
responsible for its possession than for splay.
foot or a squint-eye We do not say that il
may not be controlled. But we do say that
your husband or wife is only partly to be
blamed for an ill-temper or a selfish disposi-
ton. What is not matter for censure is mat
ter for pity. If you can come to treat the
unfortunate member of the house as unfortu.
nate, you will get your reward, at least in your
own peace of mind. Make up your mind to
cure all you can Of the unhappiness in your
household, and patiently to endure the rest.
Every one has some burden to bear. Yours
may be heavy. But there are others also
who have heavy burdens. The worst terma-
giant we ever knew had also generous quail
ties. And she married husband who knew
how to bear, to be patient, to conquer by pa
tience. That she will ever be otherwise than
troublesome we doubt. But she is utterly
devoted to her husband. She regards his
conquest of her as little less than miraculous.
We have seen him under vexations, but one
word in any way censuring his wife We have
never heard escape his lips, and we do not
believe she has ever heard such word. He
has his reward in a measure Of happiness
where less patient man would have had only
unmitigated misery.-Hedrth and Home.