The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-05-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

MONEY is a great lever in the affairs of
man-so great a lever that some of us can
never keepit.
THE man who popped the question by
starlight got his sweetheart's consent in a
twinkling.
ONE editor in Georgia asks another
whether he can bite the bottom out of a
frying-pan without shutting his nose"
IT was said Of one who remembered every
thing that he lent, but nothing he borrowed
that he had lost half his memory.
III is about as easy to select horse for
another to drive with enjoyment as it is
to suit your friend to pair Of kid gloves.
"AH' yawned bachelor, ''this world
is but gloomy prison" " To those in
solitary confinement, added witty young
lady.
A MAN is in no danger As long az he talks
love; but when he writes it, he is impaling
himself on his own pot-hooks most effect
ually.
A MAN in love is man who wishes to be
more amiable and agreeable than he can be,
and this is the reason why almost all men
in love are ridiculous.
GOLD age is coming on me rapidly"
as the urchin said, when he was stealing APP
pies from an Old mans garden, and saw the
owner coming, with whip in hand.
A minister not long ago preached from
the text. BE We, therefore, steadfast but
the printer made him expound from
BE ye there for breakfast.
A little schoolboy in Danvers, Mass,
when asked by his teacher why women
| should not vote, answered " Cause they
arc afraid ofcaterpillers.
At an auction Of miscellaneous articles
ia The open air, it began to rain, when
| by-stander advised the auctioneer that he
had better put up his umbrella the next
thing.
A FoND father recently wrote 4" It gen
orally takes twenty years Of training to
eradicate that word nice from womans
vocabulary The Falls Of Niagara, the
| Psalms ~ David and the progress of the
human race were all nice To my eldest till
she got married.
An old general used To ask his servant,
II John, what sort of morning Il It ~ "a
/ slippery, slobbery morning, sir, replied
John 'Then close the curtain, John, and
| call me at this time tomorrow, if il be fine, f"
said the general
THE following notice, printed on colored
cardboard with a nice border, hangs up i'm
place of business in Rome, New York
Mebbe you don't peter had loaf round
here, ven you don't got some peesniss amt
it,"
| 4 Man arriving home at a late hour, a
| little the worse for too much drink. hatless
and coatless, was asked by his indignant
SPOUSE" Where's your hat and coat r.
''Scnt m, my dear (hic) to the Chicago suf-
ferers."
DURING the trial of case witness per
sisted in testifying to what his wife told
him. To this, Of course, the attorney OBJ
jected. He would proceed again To tell
shust how 1t vas, when the attorney would
sing out.
"How do you know that N
MY wife told me, 4" was the answer.
This was repeated several times. Pres
emily the judge, becoming unable to contain
himself longer, interrupted:
Suppose your wife were to tell you that
the heavens had fallen-what would you
| think M
''Vell, dink dey vas down"
|
ONE out Of every 423 Englishmen goes
crazy.
CHINA has the oldest and strongest chain
bridge ever made.
LONDON existed as town more than 1000
years ago.
LOUIS NAPOLEON was born April 20,
1903, and is consequently in his sixty-fourth
year.
| II is computed by an English journal
that London viii contain G,0OO, 900 q in
habitants in 1900.
ABOUT 5000 feet Of tunneling are all that
= yet remain to be overcome in completing
the HOosac tunnel.
J THE miners of Indiana are showing q
grand example to the workingmen Of that
D Stately taking means 10 secure the en-
, rollmen+ Of every miner in their various
: unions.