The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1872-08-09

cannot endure any reference to dates.
A capital Misunderstanding
money.
A movement in real estate
Earthquakes.
Is A lamp at any time in a bad
temper? Yes; ; when it is put out.
ADAM SMITH defined man as an
animal that makes bargains; no
other dog does this-nO dogs ex-
changes bones with another.
The greatest "pain annihilator"
in existence is said to be a boy who
has smashed 1000 windows this
year.
IT WOULD ruin England if she hired
DIR. Livingstone to make his explo-
rations at 50 much a month "and
found"
A KENTUCKY editor says a neigh
Dor of his is so lazy shat when he
works In the garden he moves about
so slowly that the shade of his broad
brimmed hat kills the plants.
a PITTsBURG person suggests pa
per beefsteaks to take the place of
the leather article now common at
restaurants in that city.
WHILE sunlight is the most favor
able to haymaking, it is a we'll
known fact that wild oats are the
best sown by moonlight.
An Iowa Clergyman, who wears a
white hat which he bought ten
years ago, is in terrible row with
his church, which doesn't like polit-
ical preachers.
NERVOUS old lady to deck hand
on steam boat: "Mr. Steamboat
man, is there any. fear of danger? ?"
Deck-hand (carelessly): "Plenty of
fear, ma'am, but not bit of danger.
THE following new definition is
suggested for the forthcoming edi-
tion of Wobster's Unabridged. Tom
ahawk- an agricultural Implement
chiefly used for raising the hair.
A WEALTHY baker of New York
has gone to some expense in having
a coat of arms invented and emblaz-
oned for him. He has adopted a
loaf for his crest, which some of his
neighbOrs are wicked enough to call
his crust. This is probably to show
that he has risen. and is we'll bred.
A WRITER of the Troy Times gives
the following curious piece of warn
ing: "An old writer said that when
canons were introduced as negotia-
tors. the cannons of the church
were useless that the word was
governed first by mitrum, and then
by nitrum-first by st. Peter, and
then by saltpeter."
Mr.. Billings is a little mysterious
when he says: "Natur luvs mystic
rys, it is the mistcrys ov natur that
makes mankind respectful. If natur
showed all the kards she held in her
hand most emmy boldly would think
they could beat her. But natur
makes us guess at about One-half we
know, and then laffs at US, in her
sleeve. bekauze we don't git it right.
A STRIKING moustache at Saratoga
is thus described: 1t is one Of those
formidable birsute appendages that
instantly overcomes young ladies,
and in twinkling awes civilization
in general. In Dimensions it is ten
inches over ali, and two inches
breadth Of beam. The design is
simply ferociOus, and frightens lit
tie children, who fee in terror at
the first glance at it, and scling TO
their nurses for protection. In ar
chitectural design it is peculiar and
quito original, and the cxtremities
are unwaxed and persuaded to point
forward like the claws of the ami.
able lobster.
Up IN the Lehigh Valley there is
a hOtel-keeper who has a mountain
about a quarter of q mile from his
honse, and it occurred to him that
it would be q good idea if he could
fix things so that a magnificent echo
could be hoard from the mountain
by persons who stood at his hotel
and hallowed. So he engaged boy
to secrete himself behind a clump Of !
trees, with orders to repeat the |
words of any one talking on the
roof of the hotel. After pr2ctleing
to make sure, the landlord annOunc-
ed one day his discovery Of the echo, !
and took up lot Of people to enjoy
It. They called fer half an hour,
but no echo responded. At last,
when the landlord had become Grim
son with RAE, and was about to
give IN, the echo came, bnt not in
the shape expected. It said: "Bin
down to the spring for mother. Fire
away now. I'm all right" The
guests smiled, and mine host sudden
Iy disappeared. 1t is dangerous now
TO mention the word "ccho" in that
hotel.