The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1872-07-11

| goes tsaker Gavltt or Kernel McPeIter
Watkins, the niger Assessor, wouldn'
be allowed to hold his place a mint and
that saint Deekin Pogram, or that other
saint Elder Pennibacker wood be imme
jitly installed, and"
["Hear hear "- from Isaker Gayitt
Elder Pennibacker, McPelter and Pc
gram-kernel McPelter earnestly lickin
man who INDUCED in lafer.1
sin short, my brethrin, we want the
ofisis. We hev bin eaten grass, like
Nebschadnezzer, since 1860 with the
excepshun of Johnson's blessed years,
and Pharoah's lean kline amt nothing to
US. We hunger and thirst for EN-. Nv
course I'd ruther git my place back agin
under Brickinride, but ruther then not
hev it I'd take it from Wendell Phillips
hisselt. Eff Greeley is necessary to gettn
them | go for Greeley. He may shift ez
fast ez he peases, l kin follow him. Put
that post orfis in front Nv me, and eff he
kin shift faster than L kin, I hev over
estimated my powers in that line. And
we shell git the of6ss under him. He
will insist upon qualfcashens strenuous.
ly, but he hez his own standard. He be.
leeves that them as admires Horris Gree
ley are ex efhsho fit for any place under
any government, and them who don t
amt wuth a d-n for anything. l am
talented at admitin such men, am
Pogram, Pennibacker, McPelter, and
lsaker Gavitt wuz entirely convinced,
but there was still murmering among the
others.
you idiots" sed I sternly, sis Grant
Republican ?''
"He is, he is"
"Hev 700, ez Democrats, anything to
expect from him ?"
ave hevn't," they replied.
"Do you know the pekoolyarties Nv the
great and good Horris? We know what
he is to-day we know what he wuz yes
terday, and such Nv you ez kin read plain
print and write without running yoor
tongues out kin assertane wat he wuz be,
fore that. Wat he hez bin you knoo, but
wat he will be only the Almity, who
knows all things, can tell, and no one but
hisself supposes he is Nv sufficient ac-
count to be made the subject Nv prophecy.
We are very certin Nv a Republican eff
Grant is elected-we may hev a Repub-
lkin or Dimokrat eff Greeley succeeds.
1t is an even chance where he lites, with
the per cent. in our favor, for Nv course
the Republicans will make fun Nv him,
wich ez the only thing he never forgives.
Ez an uncertainty is better for us than
certainty, rah for Greeley" !"
They wuz convinst, and immeiitely a
Greeley club wuz organized. In Cincin-
natl [ he'd embarkt in a speculashun. /
he'd twenty dollars left from the money |
he'd borrowed Nv Judge Davis commit
tee, and L invested EN- in fifty white hats
Nv an ancient pattern, expectin to sell EN-
to the Greeley club wich | intended to
organize, at say Sl.50. After the club
wuz organized [ stated to EN- that the
uniform must be like the dress nv our
beloved chief, white hat and the left
pantalooDs leg on the top Nv the boot leg,
and that | he'd sekoored white hats enuff
to supply the club. Here difficulty
okkurred. In the entire party there
wuzn't pair Nv pantaloons wich wuzn't
worn off at least three inches above where
a boot top would be, and it being warm
weather the aujence wuz all barefooted.
However they took the hats readily, and
| stashened myself at table 20 receive the
money for EN-. A profit Nv fifty five dol
lars wuzu't so bad. Alas, how human
hopes are bIighted Bascom said he
,oould take them hats, collect the money
for EN-, and credit me on account and
be did it. didn't get dollar NV it.
l swallowed it as best | mite, for it
amt no good TO make row about it
No one in the Corners opposes Bascom
for he has all the likker there il. But we
he'd jolifcashun over the organizashun.
1t was cheerin site to see fifty men in
Greeley white hats drinkin the health Nv
the great Horris in Bascom's new whisky.
1t WIZ cheerin site to see the zeal wich
the admirers Nv the white coated philoso-
pher, all in white hats, went for such mig
gers ez they found in the street that mite
| don't despir Nv seein niggers fogged
under them white hats.
PETROLEUM V. Massey
(wich wuz Postmaster.)