Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-09-13
HunOr.

HumOfs sa.5
A social glass to which ladies are addict
ed-the mirror.
Miss.construction- Whalebonc, wadding,
powder and paint
When does man have to keep his word
When no one will take it.
How to make hot-ted- put your can.
die near your pillow and read yourself to
sleep.
A man is not like chicken-the older
he gets the tenderer he becomes. Young
ladies, please note
A furniture man is said to be the LATEST
member of society, because he keeps chairs
and lounges about all day.
When the married couples at the seaside
resorts enter the dining-room it is good
time to see the tied coming in.
The difference between October and No
yember is, that while with October leaves
fall, with November fall leaves.
You run no risk by pouring oil out of
can into your stove if you have no fire in it.
Another safe way is to have no oil in the
can. a3ea 500
An old lady is collecting all the political
journals she can get, to make soap Of
She says they contain 69a per cent Of pure
..'lie."
"The verb to love-" says wicked French
writer, isis an active verb which runs until
it sinks exhausted into the easy chair of
marriage"
If you will look into the Grant organs
you will find that all '.our colored fellow
citizens are for Grant, and all the "nig-
gers' for Greeley.
Another old lady has taken her first ride
in the cars, and remarked, when the train
ran off the track, "You fetch up rather
sudden, don't ye?"
It is said that green tarlatan dress con
tains arsenic enough to kill man, and yet
men do not seem to be afraid to GO pear
green tarlatan dresses.
Since Greeley fans have made their ap-
pearance in Norfolk, Va, the girls now say
instead of "Chawles, fan thine own" eau
gustus, dear, please Greeley me-
Who are the most discontinued of all
tradesmen Blacksmiths; for their bellows
and blows are always going, and they are
striking for wages all the year round.
Dom Piatt says there are two seasons in
which our Administration seeks repose from
"a. Il SC hot xub.
ceeds the holidays, and the other that which
follows.
Four years ago Gen. Grant declared that
.'if he was anything at all he was Demo
GRAFT" As he isn't Democrat, it follows
that he is what his best friends claim for
him, just nothing at ALL"
A plumber had an Irish lad in his employ,
and one day having occasion for piece Of
zinc, ordered him to get one twelve inches
square eyes, sir,'' sad Pat, "twelve
inches square, but how long p r
A Pekin GIL woman was asked by the
preacher if her husband feared the Lord =
She replied: "Fear him Why, bless you,
he is so feared of him that he never goes
out Of the house on Sundays without taking
his gun along"
A tender-hearted widower tainted at the
funeral of his third beloved
"What shall we do with him ?" asked a
friend Of his.
''Let him alone" said a swaggish by
stander, "he'll soon revive"
Old Gent to boy-Did you ever fight in
the wrong?"
Boy-"Often."
Gent-"Dear me, why 2"
Boy-"Didn't know until got the worst
of it that I had got hold of the wrong fell
low"
Nor BAD.-A picture of the times rep
resents"a fashionable gentleman saying to
belle, "Pray. excuse me, Miss. but your
face is SO familiar that I believe we must
have met BEFORE" She replies "And
yours, too, to me; indeed, I think we were
once engaged"
A Pittsburg jury returned a verdict of
murder in the second degree in the case Of
Campbell, the brutal wife murderer, and the
crowd in the courtroom Kissed. One intel.
ligent juror said he voted for murder in the
second decree because be thought it was
Campbell's "second wife"
A preacher, one slippery, frostymorning.
going home with one Of his elderly members.
the old gentleman slipped and fell When
the minister saw he was not hurt he said,
my friend, sinners stand on slippery
places" eyes, replied the old man
looking at the preacher, Il see they do, but
I can't"
VOICE OF THE PEOPLE. -Jabe what will
be lef of the Republican party in thirty
days?
''Nothing but niggers and thieves, boss,
all honest men are leaving it.
What will be left of it in sixty days?
''Nothing but thieves even the niggers
will be ashamed of it before sixty days are
over"
Will the election of Greeley purify the
country? - /