The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1872-05-24
FND1AY, HANCOCK
gT(lisrellaneuns.

+ + Ml1Eellanenn5.
From "Roughing" it,
RI A NEVADA FUNERAL
s There WAS q crest time over Buc
Il Fanshaw when he died. lie ws
a representative citizan. He la
skilled his man'-nut in his ow
; quarrel, i. is true, bu, il the defens
! of stranger bsset ny ni.uhers. II
/. had kept sumptuoT> ,cn. He ha
been the proprid "f IT dsshing hclI
meet, whom he ,uld have discarde,
without the tornal!ty of r,iyorcG
He had held a high position in tn
fire department, and heen a yer
Warwick in politics. When die,
there was great lsmentation through
out the town. but especially in th
vas. bottom stratum OF society.
| On The inquest it WIS shown ths
Buck Fanshaw, in the delirium O
a wasting. typhoid fever, had takel
arsenic, shot himselfthroush the body
cut his throat, andjumped oatof a four
story window and bro his neck
and after due deliberation, the jnry
sad and fearful, but with Intelligence
unblinded by its sorrow. brought III
a verdict of death sby the visitation
OF God" What could the world dc
without juries?
Prodigious preparation were made
for the funeral. All the vehicles in
the town were hired, all the saloons
were in mourning. all the municipal
and fire company flags were hung at
half mast, and all the firemen ordered
to muster in uniform aud bring their
machines duly draped in back.
Regretful resolutions were passed
and various committees appointed,
among others, a committee OF one
was appointed to call on a minister
a fragile, gentle, spiritual new fiedg
ling from an Eastern theological semi.
nary, and as yet unacquainted with
the ways Of the mines. The commit
tee man, "Scotty" Briggs, made his
visit.
Being admitted.to his pres ,nce, he
sat down before the clergyman, plac-
ed his fire hat on an unfi lished
manuscript sermon under the minis
te;s nose, took from i: red silk hand
kerchief, wiped his brow, aud heaved
a sigh of dismal impressiveness ex
planatory of his business. He choked
and even shed searz, but with an effort
he mastered his voice, and said, in
lugubrIous tones:
"Are you the duck that runs the
gospel-mill next door? p
81 am the-pardon me, l believe l
do not understand ?''
With another sigh and half sob.
Scot:y rejoined.
''Why, you see we are in a bit OF
trouble, and the boys thought may
be you'd give US lift. if we'd tackle
you, that is, if I've got the rights OF
it, and you are the head clerk OF the
doxology works next door.
81 am the shepherd in charge OF
the flock whose told is next door,"
"The which p en-
"The spiritual adviser of the little
company OF ofbelievers whose sanctuary
adjoins these premises
Scotty scratched his head, reflected
moment, and then said:
"You rather hold over me, pard
l reckon can't call that hand. Ante
and pass the buck'
SHOW? 1 beg your pardon. What
did / understand you to say ?"
swell, you've rather got the bulge
on me. Or maybe we've both got the
bulge, somehow. You don't smoke
me and 1 don't smoke you. You see,
one of the boys has passed in his
checks, and we want TO give him
good send-of, and so the thing am
now on it to rout out somebody to
jerk little chin-music for US, and
waltz him through handsome"
"My frien6, seem to grow more
and more bewildered. Your observa-
ton are wholly inconprehensible to
me. Cannot you simplify them some
way? At first 1 thought perhaps l
understood you, but now 1 grope.
Would it not expedite matters if you
restricted yourself to categorical
statements of fact unincumbered with
obstructinf accumulations Of meta
phor and allegory
Another pause, AMI more reflection.
Then Scotty said:
I'll have to pass, l judge"
Show p
"You've raised me out, pard.''
81 still fail to catch your meaning.'
"Why, that lsst lead of yourn is too
many for me-thats the idea. l
can't neither trump nor follow suit
The clergyman sank back in his
chair perplexed. Scot,y leaned his
head on his hand, and gave himself
up to reflection.
Presently his face came up, sorrow
ful, but confident.
"Ive got 1t now, sos you c2vy,'
said he. "What we want is a gospel
sharp. See p
"a what ?"
"Gospel sharp, parson.'
ooh! Why didn't you say so be-
fore2 l am clergyman-a parson"
snow you talk! You see my
blind, and straddle it like a man.
Put it there !"-exte9ding a brawny
paw, which closed over the minister's
small hand and gave it shake indie
alive Of fraternal sympathy and fer
vent qualification.
"Now we're all right pard. Let's
start fresh. Don't you mind me
snuffing a little, becuz we're in a
power of trouble. You see one of the
boys has gone up the hume-"
"Gone where ?"
"Up the tiume--throw'd up the
sponge, you know"
"Tbrown up the sponge?"
"Yes-kicked the bucket"
"Ah! has departed to that mystic
rious country from whose bourn no
traveller returns"
"Returns ?" Well, 1 reckon not
Why pard, he's dead"
"Yes, understand"
"Oh, you do2 Well, I thought
maybe you might be getting tangled
once more. Yes, you see he's dead
again--"
"Again! Has he ever baeu dead
before ?''
"Dead before No. Do YOU reck-
on man has got as many lives as q
cat? But You bet, he's awful dead
now, poor old boy, and 1 wish I'd
never seen this day. / don't know
no better friend than Buck Fan
shaw. l kpow'd him by the back :;
and when know a man like him
you hear me. Take him all around,
pard, there never was a bullier man
in the mines. No man ever knowed
Buck Fanshaw 60 back on friend.
But it's all up. 1t amt No use.
IT.