Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1872-01-16

he. p beng strong.
Mr.. Keller made a LIBERAL appor
tionment of coffee, filled up the OF
with water, and placed it on the Goals
with countenance expressive Of great
satisfaction while close beside it the
pail of frozen oysters was exposed tC
the genial influence Of caloric.
They'll boil like ginger pretty
soon,' thought Harry. "And now III
stir up a few buckwhcats or sol
know where Matte keeps the -four.
"Stir up bucl;wheat or so, sounds
remarkably easy, but Mr.. Kncller
found more difficult task than he ap.
pretended.
"T-don 't-sce-w where--thc--hitch
is" soliloquised our hero. at
ought to foam over with little bub.
bles on the top--at least Mates
always does. Perhaps the cold
weather makes a difference. Hello
I've forgotten about the potatoes y
But not a potatoc could be found,
and Harry Kneller, with the original
ity of a great mind, fell back on pan
of withered yellow turnips, four il
number, which he put to boiling in Il
prodigous iron pot, with the cover saf '-
| |y held down by a couple Of fat-irons.
1T Viii boil the sooner thought
Harry. Nothing like an economy Of
heat. Now for the oysters
The frying pan literally anointed
with butter, and placed on the fire, and
Harry began operations by impaling
fat half dozen oysters; "and
where the -four barrel is, | don't
know! All, there it is, under the eel
lar shelf"
And Harry plunged his oysters
down in the white powdery depths,
brings it up an oblong sphere Of snow.
That's the time of day Now, my
fine fellow, cook away at your leasure,
while give your brothers white jack
cts too. This is certainly remarkable
fine article of -four. How fragrant
the coffee smells Here's little
drawback-frying-pan not big enough
to hold the oysters! Never mind
we'll put them in first and second
series, like volume Of essays"
Mr.. Kneller paused to wipe the
streaming PRECIPITATION from his brow.
Half past six Mary would soon be
home now-the surprise" must really
be accelerated "
81 really think the oysters must be
done on one side now," he said eying
the frying-pan scientifically, and max
ing a dive at its contents with his fork.
"Hello why they are as hard as bul.
lets what on earth is the matter ?"
lie stared with discomfted eyes at
the round ademantine balls he had i'm
agined juicy hearted oysters
"I'm not bewitched, ain ! - he pom
dercd, "I've heard Of money changing
to dry leaves, but l never heard of
oysters being transformed to stone =
1t can't be possible that-but it is
possible and I've been and gone and
done it I've dredged my oysters in
the barrel of Plaster of Paris that was
brought in for the garden, instead of
the -four Here's pretty blunder
All the oysters spoiled twenty-five
of 'em at five cents apiece and all
through my stupidity"
At the same moment the spout of
the Brittania cofTee-pot parted COM
pany with its main reservoir, and the
water and melted metal
poured into the fire in confused steam
and noise.
Harry started back appalled, at this
result. In his haste he retreated on
pussy's personal property, she retailed
by vigorous use of her claws. En-
leavoring to release her and himself.
Harry stepped quickly to one side
too quickly alas for he stumbled over
pussy, and catching at the table cloth
Mary had set the table over night
fell upon the floor. The china,
Knives, forks, castors, sugar, milk, syr-
mp and mustard, lay in charming con-
fusion upon and around him. Faith
full to his duties, he still held the fos-
,ilized oyster on the end Of a toasting
fork.
While Harry lay prone on the
kitchen oil cloth, considering within
himself whether he were killed or dead |
mortally wounded or not hurt at all,
the door opened, and Mrs. Knellcr
rushed in, pale and breathless.
"He has shot himself Il know he
has He has committed suicide Oh,
Harry, my own husband, speak to me !
Tell me you are not dead!p
"No-I don't think am" enuncis-