Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-03-29
DODGEVHLE WISCONSIN, FRIDAY, i

caught away my defenses, but extended
| the folding arms of the screen. so az
nearly to touch the vacant seat, In
that instant, ho,o hardly knew, / found
myself fairly seated at the board, the
friend who would have accompanied me
| at my side. '1a
"You take it coolly, old fellow,n re.
marked the latter. 81 fancied that at
these dinners punctuality-n 81.
~ take it coolly, very coolly,n [ re-
piled. "And it is for your sake am
| doing so. May l ask you to spare me
as much adjacent table cloth as is COM
patible with your personal conve-
nience?' p .,,-.....s .sss. Z.5,.t. ..l.. s-
"iTablercloth J. Assufedly.- But whyW
"There are reasons, hidden reasons.
But of that hereafter. A glass of
wine!" 1 ..e. s....... ...7 ....s.
"My friend is agitated. His manly
fingers quiver. Something is amiss with
Charters" remarked my companion, in
the sepulchral tone he is given to use
when chatting those he loves. .as..
Dicky Shelton, who never, so far as it
is ascertained, had relative in the
world, dressed always in the deepest
mourning. He never laughs, outwardly.
He is mirth itself, within. He has
written burlesques by the score. To
SHELTON is due the evisceration of words
that have baffied the skill of the most
accomplished tormentors of the English
language. b,
"My friend, confidein me-" continued
Dick, smaclSing his lips, for the Lumpe-
4on Il &c ~ ~ 4ocLoI
day. "You are i'll at ease"
"At the knees. A trife."
"To remember one', troubles in such
q scene is weak" +.' ..'
"To forget ones trousers is Madness"
[ whispered, with clenched teeth, in his
ear. .:A t'.@ .f..'.. I'' q.
"One's ----W calculated Shelton,
faintiy, as he turned upon me a counte-
nance naturally wan and lengthy, but
now whitened and elongated with real
alarm. You--don't mean. Do |
distinctly understand?
"You understand my reasons for re-
quiring as large o portion of the table
cloth as you can conveniently spare"
"Now this is,very noteworthy, yes, it
is really curious," remarked Mr.. Skel-
ton, with more interest than sympathy.
ft do not remember having met with a
precisely similar situation. A man
may, indeed, forget an essential gar,
ment. The mind cannot always be
dwelling on these outward things. But
has he no friend? Wife, servant, grand
mother? Is there no hand to bar his
exit, no tongue to say, My dear, my
very dear sir, return, reflect. Consult,
if not prevailing fashions, vt least that
warmth and comfort as needful to man
as his daily food p Did none do this ?"
l shook my head, and briefly re-
counted the cause and manner of my
misfortune
My friend gazed at me sorrowfully:
$50 fair abover' he murmured. $50
well, so singular belowl Who now,
in this brilliant assembly-graced, as |
perceive, with the presence of many
beautiful land giggling) women-would
imagine that you, sitting here SO we'll
got up, radiant with artificial mirth, are
a type of Milton's SIM" f..
l replied, curtly, that ] accepted the
situation, as he was pleased to term it,
with the calmness that seemed expe-
dent, and that having done all that
man could do, | awaited the DEGREES of
fate, and the arrival of .he waiter, to
whom | had offered a sovereign to
smuggle my overalls, at the first oppor-
tune moment. ,-a.. .....
lawfully lucky for you, my boy,
there's to be no speech making p con
tinued Shelton. " We would have had
you on your defenseless legs in no
time"
So" Have you seen the toast list, gentle
men?' asked portly member of the
guild, on my left, as he politely offered |
q card.
There was catalogue of at least |
twenty toasts, with names appended as |
and, as proposing that of the |
guest of the evening, the Baron de
Bette Fauve, "Mr. Reginald Charteris!" |
AC the same moment note was |
placed in my hand. 1t was from the |
chairman. ......,
"Oblige us. We know your ready |
eloquence. Baron struck with your face |
and manner. Wishes to hear you
speak. Touch up the IONS" t-r,t
Snatching out my pencil case wrote /: |
/" Throat imrracticable. -Uvula cut off |
this morning. Should create more as
tonishment than interest if forced upon
my legs" -r.1,usyraa
I breathed. That peril was .averted.
My spirits rose as the merry feast pro |
ceeded, and ! began to see more dis |
tinctly the humorous side of my little |
The atmosphere was |
warm and pleasant. Why, l had been
present at many dinner in the north |
where men dined, from preference,
without their-that is, in kits. True, l |
had not exactly kilt; but, even were
| compelled to stand forth from my |
present retirement, the exhibition of
knee, the publication of calf, would be
no greater than is legally sanctioned
within five hundred miles of this spot.
Hal a sensation. "Pray silence" &c. |
Grace. "Non nobis." Then the usual |
loyal toasts, and we drank prosperity to |
several collateral branches of the reign |
ing house (the Lumpeters were nothing |
if not loyaD, before we arrived at the
great toast Of the eyening-the Baron
de Bette Fauve. This was given by the |
chairman himself and, with the baron's |
reply, Tin French) and counter PROPOSE
ton of the health of the ladies, was re-
ceived with the greatest enthusiasm.
The excitement was just settling
down, when mus Qft@ 0a aig /
"Hallo p exclaimed SHELTON, "what's
up now? Is any one expected, | won
der? They are putting big chair next
to Bette Fauve. 1t must be a swell. |
Can the Prince Of"
II beg your pardon, Mr.. Charters"
said the voice of the head-steward, who,
followed by two attendant walters, had
approached us unobseryed. ""The chair,
sir, presents his compliments, and begs
l. 1 q D. j ID