The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-05-31
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A matter of course-horseracinr.

A matter of course-horseracing.
Dice are not always the square
thing.
Minister of the Interior-A country
clergyman.
"COme, sheer Off" as the ram said to
the man who was cutting off his wool.
A Western burglar wants patent to
an improved jimmy.
Bores that most people have toput up
with-Neighbors.
An Illinois girl has discovered the
latest cause for suicide-warts.
Chicago offers $1,000 for Satisfactory
plans for her new City Hall.
Farmers are like fowls-neither will
get full crops without industry.
The "coidest March" on record-Bo-
naparte's retreat from Russia.
Is the thirst of horse satisfied when
lis rider gives reign to him?
A warning to would-be Blondins-
is not every tight rope dancer who
can keep his balance-at his bankers.
In too many lamentable instances
the "last scene of all this, strange,
eventful history" is-kerosene.
An unfortunate Swedish sailor gave
rare proof of presence of mind at
Detroit recently He was aloft, and fell
IA distance of hundred feet, probably
| fatally injuring him, and while on his
| terrible descent shouted to those below
to "look out.n He deserved better
fate.
The handsome India shawls are be-
| ing worn made into a clOse-fitting
sa:que or double cape, which can be
done without cutting or injuring the
shawl. Ladies prefer this way OF
wearing them, as shawl folded in the
old style can hardly be worn graceful
ly with the present style of large pan
niers and looped skirts.
This is the way the Western paper.
90 on about d. V. Their brains are
evidently affected: She wore Dolly
| Warden, the night when first we met
her chip hat, like garden, with posies
gay was set. A humping big blonde
waterfall, when next we met she wore
her skirt spread out from wall to wall
and busted off the floor.
A rural reporter says a procession
timed their steps "to the dulcet note.
of the mellow drum" Mellow drum
is good.
The man who would he considered
wise, should never give an opinion
until he has carefully estimated wha
his opinion is worth.
Ordinary beggars make from two tC
three dollars day i'm New York. Some
of greater ability, average five and six
mo end of the people who wish t.
he pious, but nobody wishes to b,
humble,n says Rochefou"auld, in hi.
satirical way.
Fans are now set in the midst of :
bouquet-holder, which, when tn,
zephyr-compeller is folded, conceals i
entirely.
A gushing poet asks in the first lint
of a recent effiusion, "How man,
weary pilgrims lieu We give it up
but experience has told that there ar,
a good many.
A Boston Yankee observed that JOIN
Chinaman didn't whistle, SO he opened
"A whistling school in San Francisco
where fifty Pagans now ado" Yanke
Doodle, with only a slight Celestial &C
cent.
Black velvet wristlets, fastened will
large diamond stud, or button O
FURNISHED gold, is preferred by man.
ladies to the cOstliest bracelet. Us tn
black serves TO take white arm yer,
effective.
1t is said that a private carriage one
owned by Daniel Webster has becom
so reduced in circumstances that it ha
20 run to and from the railroad station
IN Newmarket, n. H., as public con
veyance.
The is a Dutch vessel now in Bos
ton which is said TO be ninety year
Cd. She is built of teak, and is goo
for an other half centuries service.
American dentists are now to b
found in all the large cities of Europe
There are six in ST. Petersburg, four il
Vienna and two in COnStantinOple.
Erred" said a father to his son,
hear that you and your wife quarre
and wranglo every day. Let me war;
you against such fatal practice
Whoever told you that, father, wa
totally mistaken; my wife and
havn't spoken to one another for
| month -