Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1872-12-27
A Funny OLD Man.

An advertisement n, a Boston newspaper
announcing the sale at auction OF tho Dexter
property in NeWburryporl bringsto mind nu-
merous stories current in that city respecting
the eccentric individual who fourished there
IN the latter part Of the lest century under the
seif-asaltmed title ef Lord Timothy Dexter.
This was the fortunate merchant who with
brains either SO seant or so disordered that he
twas continually making himself an object OF
| dsrision, still blundered into what in those
| days was considered stupendous fortune. II
/ was Lord Dexter who on consulting was-
I gisll achiitaintanae =
investing certain moneys, was advlseu =. - s..il
dies, and availed himself OF the advice. 70 the
great mirth Of all who heard Of the transac.
ton. The cream of the joke. however; was
that the warming pans found sale to the su-
gar mannfatufes for ladies and Dexter real
ized great profit on the venture. Al ships
ment of red wooden night caps to the coast OK
| Guina. suggested as joke, turtsed out most
fortunate speculation, Somebody, wishing to
humbug the old fellow, told him one day
that news had come that all the whales were
dying off. Dexter went to work and bought
all the whaiebone he could get hold Of fairly
corne ring the markets, after which he sold
at an immense profit. Having at last plan.
dered into great wealth, he assumed the IL
tie Of Lord Dexter, and spent great deal OF
money in laying out attractive grounds
about his house, but ruined the effects pro-
duced by skillful gardeners by setting up In
every direction. carved wooden figures of the
most hideons description. twenty-five years
ago some Of these figures were still to be seen
on the grounds. Lord Dexter becoming ann
bitieus of literary distinction. published q
book with the title Of g A Pickle for tho
Knowing Ones but being conscious of
weakness in the matter Of punctuation, put
all the periods, commas, semlcolons and the
like at the end OF the book, telling his read.
ers that they might pepper and salt his pro-
duction to suit themselves. Al few hours be-
fore his death he had a mock funeral, and af-
tcrward beat his wife because she did not ex-
hibit sufficient grief over his fictitious demise.
Some time ago the house and grounds once
occupied by the strange character came into
the possession OF wealthy citizen Of New
hurryport who has made the place one Of the
THE Hon. CIlas. Francis Adams notwith-
standing his expressed determination not to
be interviewed by the Representatives of the
press, did submit the other evening, the
New York Sun says, to gentle squeeze
from the Hon Thnrlow Weed. The veteran
journalist, with his hand on the distinguish
ed Statesnan's knee, touched the pump ever
so delicateiy with the following conundrum:
Mr. Adams. what do you thinks would
have been the result II yourself, and not Mr..
Grectey, had been nominated at Cincia-
nattig'
TO which Mr.. Adams replied without hes
itation: 1T would have made no difference
whatever. The result would have been the
same.''
That Vas ssl
SAD RESULT or CHRONIC APATpY.-@ 4
was standing at the corner one night
said an old merchant, tswhen I noticed that
suddenly took sick End turned into his
store, at the door Of which he had also been
watching the Customers doeking
into a neigllbor's store. IIe had good store
and u good stock. and = Blue Jane,n as we
called her. had scrubbed the floor and slicked
LIE place UP that very afternoon. Yet the GUS
lomers were rushing into the opposite store
ike thunder, while not one came to his; so
The old man couldn't stand Il. He went in-
siie at last, laid bis head down on a sack OF
-four and died, and made no sign, His oppo-
ito neighbor was IN advertiser, and WAS ma
king signs every day IN the newspapers.
Miss Constance RothschiId, the eltest
laughter Of Earon Mryer de Mothschild, i
about to be married TO The Hon. Mr.. Yerke,
.on Of Earl Hardwicke and brrsher bf Lord
Rorstoa: