The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-09
"GREEN JONES'

"You know Grubbs, General
Agent of the Adorable Life Insur-
ance Company, don t you :" inquir-
ed EGreen Jones'"
s'No."
You've missed a sumner, then. !"
HE came along here abont a year
ago now. Tongue slit! Well, it
was. Ran as easy as an empty hand
sled in winter. Even made me be-
lieve l was gifted as life insurance
agent.
''The way he told it not single
man had taken hold of the Adorable
for the last $50 years and made less
than than five thou sand year and
expenses.
Zone agent had cleared $4,000
in eight years.
"Another had laid aside SI25, 900
in six years.
Another still, peculiar case that
was though-man peculiarly adopt
ed to the work built up business
il the short space of five years that
he actually oVershadowedt the COM
pany. They had to force him out
as a measure for self-protection.
Averaged $4,000 a year clear of all
expenses while he was in, and the
company paid him $4,000 in a
lump for his renewals, besides,
when he went out.
"Well, didn't care much about
being such an agent as that-the in
ternal revenue officers would al
ways be bothering me so. But fl
nally 1 concluded (seeing the thing
was so common and easy,) that 1
would turn in and make eight or
ten thousand and then retire on my
renewal commissions.
"Grubbs posted me till he said l
could go it, He then went home
and left me to fgo it alone
"The town was strange to me a
year ago, and every body was q
stranger. One locality seemed just
as good as another to begin in, as it
were. So / sauntered leisurely
down the street the morning after
Grubbs left, and we swung into the
first store came to. | had all the
self-possessiOn necessary for my
branch of business.
sNobody in sight. 1 Iounged
along among the boxes and brooms,
and Goldfish piles in a sort of cheeky,
familiar way, till I got back to the
Office. There I found q large, mid
dle-aged man sitting alone reading
q newspaper.
"He looked oyer the top of his
paper rather suspiciously as enter
ed. Then he said "Good morn
ing ~ eoolly and obviously.
81 was very intent on my GRAND
by that time-so intent, that
wholly neglected to answer him.
81 then hauled out my rate book
and opened it.
(''The paper was laid aside omni-
ously, his gaze still riveted on me.)
with hands kind of trembling,
and knees shaking, I began :"
'Mr-did you ever consider the
subject Of
II didn't finish that sentence, Tor
down came a two dollar pair of
spectacles.-Up bounded two hun
dred pounds of well developed
bone and sinew. And around the
room, agile as a French dancing
master, it went hopping. Like q
wild bull in slaughter yard, it
reared:
ssThe d. and Cesar! Six life
insl rance agents, and it isn't nine
O'Clock yet. (Here / began to
crawfish.) wont stand il another
minutel Here, Tige, at him !"
There was sudden cOnVulEive
scratching of toe nails at the further
end of the big safe that stood on the
other side ofthe room Then came
q scratching where I was.
f'I started just one square lump
ahead of that big bull dog, and ]
maintained my advantage until
got within ten feet ofthe front door.
Then / suddenly found It necessary
to execute a quick strategic right
flank movement around pile OF
boxes.
"That dog went out doors with
one of my coat tails his inmouth,
and III went ont OF the window.
tIdidn't pay much attention 10
anything but getting home.
"Then, with features grim as q
graye-stone, proceeded to pile ap-
plication, book after book, and cir
cular after circular, on top of each
other. Then / turned all my pock.
cts inside out to see If some frag.
ment hadn't escaped my notice.
'"That pile is in the house there
hyet, If my wife hasn't burnt il up
And there It may stay, my friend
/ shan't touch another one of these
documents if they get as old as the
Declaration Of Independence"