The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1872-11-16
True Story of Indian Mathematics-How
Sauattina Bear Played 1t on his Comrades,
and how lie was Planted.
BY MAX ADELER.

"
BY MAX ADELER.
During the recent visit of party of In
dians to the East, one of the number,
Squatting Bear, was observed to behave
himself in very remarkable and myste-
rious manner. He separated himself from
his companions on one occasion for several
hours, and was then seen returning drag
ging huge Saratoga trunk behind him
through the streets with string. When
he reached his lodgings with the trunk, the
other Indians were puzzled. Some of them
believed the trunk to be model for new
kind of wigwam with Mansard roof,
while others conceived the idea that it was
apatent bath-tub of some peculiar sort,
and that Squatting Bear, in moment Of
mental alteration, had been seized with an
inexplicable and unprecedented desire to
wash himself. The souls of the savages
burned with fiery indignation, as they con-
templated the possibility of this revolution
airy, enervating and demoralizing practice
of the pale faces by the noble red man.
But when they questioned Squatting Bear
and demonstrated with him, that incompre-
hensible brave merely placed his copper
colored finger upon his burnt-umber nose
and winked solemnly with his right eye.
The trunk was carried through to the
wigwam of Squatting Bear unopened lat
the expense of Uncle Sam, and within the
precincts of his home it was hidden
finally from view, and was soon entirely
forgotten.
In the tribe, the brave who killed the
largest number of enemies in any given
year, and secured the usual trophies of VIC
tory, was entitled to occupy the position as
chief. Squatting Bear was known to have
ardent aspiration for the Office, and he
worked hard to win it. For while after
his return he was always foremost in every
fight; and when the scalps were counted
around the camp fire, he invariably had
secured the greatest number. Gradually,
however, certain of the braves were inn
pressed with the notion that Squatting's
trophies sometimes did not bear very cor
rect proportion to the ferocity of the con-
test or to the number of the slain. Several
times, after y brief skirmish, in which ten
or fifteen men were killed, Squatting would
come siding home with as many scalps as
there were dead men; at the same time the
other warriors would together have nearly
as many more.
The braves thought it was queer, but they
did not give the subject very serious atten-
ton until after the massacre of certain
band of emigrants which had passed close
by the camp of the tribe. There were
just twenty persons in the company, and
after the butchery several Indians took the
trouble to count the bodies and to keep
tally with butchcr-knife upon the side Of
chip. That night, when the scalps were
numbered, each brave had one or two
apiece, but Squatting Bear handed out
exactly forty-seven of the most beautiful
punches of human hair that were ever sent
west of the Mississippi. The braves looked
cross-eyed at each other and cleared their
throats. Two of their number stole out to
the battlefield for the purpose Of counting
the bodies again, and of ascertaining if this
had been menagerie with few double
headed persons in the party.
Yes, there lay exactly twenty corpses |;
and, to make matters worse, one of them
was bald-headed man, who for additional
security to his scalp, had run skate-strap
over his head and buckled it under his chin.
When they returned, the entire camp de-
voted itself to meditation and calculation.
Twenty men killed and forty-seven scalps
in the possession of single brave, without
counting those secured by other participants
in the contest The more the warriors
pondered over this fact the more perplex-
ing it became.
A brave, while eating his supper and re-
fleeing upon the problem, would suddenly
imagine he saw his way clear, and he would
stop, with his mouth full of baked dog, and
fix his eyes upon the wall and think desper-
ately hard. But the solution invariably
eluded him. Then all off them would glide
behind their wigwams and perform alb
struse mathematical calculation upon their
fingers, jam the points into the sand do
hard sums out of their aboriginal arthme-
TIC. And they would tear around through
the Indian rule of three, and struggle
fingers; and they would get sticks and go
through their own kind of vulgar fractions,
and wrestle with something that they be-
lieyed to be multiplication table. But
in vain. Forty-seven scalps off twenty
heade! 1t seemed impossible.
They tried it with algebra, and let the
number of heads equal a and the number
of scalps equal q, and they multiplied a
into q and subtracted every letter in the
alphabet in succession from the result until
their brains reeled, but still the mystery
remained unsolved.
At last secret council was held, and II
was determined that Squatting Bear mus
have some powerful and wonderful charm
which enabled him to perform such mira
cles, and all hands agreed to investigate thu
matter upon the first opportunity. So thu
next week there was another fight, in which
four persons were killed, and that nigh
Squatting Bear actually had the audacity tt
rush out 1877 scalps, and to ask those be
nighted savages, sitting around their fire
to believe that he had snatched all that haii
from those four heads.
1t was too much--much too much they
seized him and drove white oak stav
through his bosom to hold him still, an,
then they proceeded to his wigwam to as
certain how that scalp business was conduct
ed by the Bear family. They burst opel
the Saratoga trunk the first thing, and ther
they found $500 wigs and keg of re,
paint, purchased by the disgraceful aborig
nal while in Philadelphia.
That concluded his career. They burie
him at once IN the Saratoga trunk, and th
wigs with him, and ever since that tim
they have elected annually Committee o
Scalps, whose business it is to examin
every hirsute trophy with double-barrele
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