Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1872-02-01

learned and distinguished man, crushed
in my breast The deep remembrance o.
the sense I had Of being utterly neglected
and hopeless Of the shame l felt in my
position Of the misery it was to my young
heart to believe that. day by day, what |
had learned. and thought, and delighted
in, and raised nay fancy and my emulation
up by. was passing away from me. never
to be brought back any more cannot be
written. Ny whole nature was so pcne.
trated with the grief and humiliation ol
such considerations. that even now, n.
nous and carresscd and happy, often
forget in my dreams that I have dear
wife and children even that am man
and wander desolateiy back to that time
of my Efe. !.
If va, 50 yodns and ebsldi.h. saa a q
little qualified could I be otherwisel
to undertake the whole charge of nv owu
existence, that. in going to Hupgerford
Stairs Of morning. | could not resist the
stale pastry put ou. at half-price on trays
at the confectioners' doors in Tottenhan,
Court Road ; and I often spent in that the
money should have kept for dinner. -
Then / went without my dinner. or bough,
a roll, or slice Of pudding. There were
two puddipg-shops between which / was
divided, according to my finances. One
was in court close to St. Martins church
Cat the back Of the church) which is now
removed altogether The pudding at that
shop was made with currants. and was
rather a special pudding. but was dear
two penn'orth not being larger than a
pennorth Of more ordinary pudding. A
good shop for the latter was in the Strand
somewhere near where the Lowther Ar
cade is now. 1t was stout, hale pud-
ding. heavy and fabty: with great raj
sins in it. stuck in whole. at great distan-
ces apart. 1t came up hot, at about noon
every day 8; and many and many day
did | dine of it.
1--WE had half on hour, think. for tea.
When | had money enough. used to go
to cofFee-shop, and have half a pint OF
coffee, and a slice Of bread-and-butter.- -
When had no money. | took turn in
Covcnt Garden market, and stared at the
pineapp!es.
Il know do not exaggeratc, uncon-
sciously and unintentionally. the scanti-
ness Of my resources and the difficulties
Of my life. | know that il shilling or
so were given me by any one. spent i,
in dinner or a tea. know tha. work
ed, from morning to nj ght. with common
men and boys, shabby child. | know
that l tried. but Intellectually. not to an
ticipate my money, and to make it last
the week through by putting it away in
a drawerf had in the counting house.
wrapped in six little parcels. each parcel
containing the same amount and labeled
with different day. know that | have
l"ungcd about the streets. insufficien,ly
and enthusiastically fed. I know that.
but for the mercy of God. I Nigh. easily
have been. for any care that was taken of
me. little robber or little vagabond
but held some station at the black
ing-warchouse too. Besides that nv re-
lativc at the ccunting-housc did what n
man so occupied. and dealing with a
thing so anomalous could. to treat me as
one upon a different footing from the rest
| never said. to man or boy. how it was
that came to be there. That suffered
exquisitely. no one ever knew but l.
How much | suffered. it is. as I have said
already. utterly beyond my power to tell
No mans Imagination can overstcp the re-
ality. But kept my own counsel. and
| did my work. knew from the first.
that. if could not do my work as we'll as
any Of the rest. l could not hold myself
above slight and contempt. ] soon be-
came at least as expeditions and as skill.
ful with my hands as either of the other
boys.
my rescue from this kind Of existence
l considered quite hopeless. and abandon
ed as such. altogether though I am sol
emnly convinced that I never. for one
hour was reconciled to it. or was other.
wise than m,serably unhappy.
AT last, one day. my father. and the
relative So often mentioned. quarreled
quarreled by letter. for took the letter
from my father to him which caused tho
explosion, but quarreled very fereely. l,
was about me-
my mother set herself to accommodate
the quarrel, and did so next day. She
brought home request for me to return
next morning. and high character of me
which l am very sure / deserved. Nv
father said should go back no more. and
should 60 to school. do not write re.
scntfully or angrily; for know how al
these things have worked together to make
me what am; but neeer afterward.
forgot. | never shall forget. I never can
forget, that my mother was warm for m,
being sent back.
From that hour until this at which
write. no word Of that par. OF nv child.
hood which | have pow gladly brough, Il
a close has passed my lips to any human
being. | have no idea how long i, lasted
whether for year. or much more. or less
From that hour until this my father and
my mother have been stricken dumb upor
it. l have never heard the least allusiou
to it. however far of and remote. from
either of them. I have never, until I nov
imPart !, to this paper. in any burs. o.
confidence with any one. my own wife no
excepted. raised the curtain then drop
ped. thank God
Until old Hungcrford market wal
pulled down, until old Hungerford Stair.
were destroyed. and the very nature oi
the ground changed. never had the cour
age to 60 back to the place where my ser
visude began. never saw il, eouiS
not endure TO 60 near il. For mans years
when ] came near 10 Robert Warren's il
the Strand. | crossed over to the oppcsit,
side Of the way. TO srcid ccrtain smcl
Of cement they put upon the hlackip z