The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-06-14
NASBY.
Mr.. Nasty Dreams q Drean, In which the
Future ef .Great and GeoA' Mna ls
COHPEDRIT X ROADs,
(wich is in the State NV Kentucky.

ForesSadewed. ' "'. "'' nm II
CoNYEDkIr x RoADe. \
(wich is in the State NV Kentucky
| May "A. 1872.
am gettin old aud am feelin my
years. Time wuz when ten or a dozen
drinks more than yoosual didn't make
any difference with me, but it's quite
different now. lttells on my old body,
and hcv TO be guardid.
We he'd a ratifcashen meetin last mite,
at which l did indulge more than
shood, and fell asleep in q chair at
Bascom's, and dreamed dream.
In my dream saw high, elivated
plain, bounded on three sides by steep
preeipitus bluff. On the top of that
plain (wich pleasant and breezy place
it wuz), and back somewat from the edge
Nv the precipice, stood that bil,lin wich
is the Mecca to wich ALL Dimocrats hev
been turnin their eyes for the past IL
years, the White House. On the very
edge Nv the precipice wuz q group NV
individuals wich he'd no difficulty in
identifyn. There wuz Grant and Colfax,
and around en- stood Morton, Butler,
Sherman, Shellaberger, and thousand
others NV sieh, while jist over their
heads there wuz a hoatin in the air the
spirits Nv Washington, Adams, Jeffer.
son, Linkin and all NV them deceest
individuals wich would hev sympathiz-
ed with the Republican party eli they
had continyood in the flesh.
Down at the foot NV this precipice
there wuz q low, swampy, marshy, NAL
arious deestrik, wich was the most un-
comfortable seekshun NV kentry | ever
see. The ground wuz full NV cess pools,
Nv quagmires, and quicksands. There
wuz bones NV niggers scattered all over
it-there wuz roOins Of old skool- houses;
there wuz groceries and s'loons scatter.
ed about it in wild proofusion there
wuz broken printin presses, and the
cheerful galiows-tree on wich old John
Brown he'd bin hung wuz distinctly Wis.,
able. Attempts he'd bin apparently
made to kiver up the burnt ol-houses
and printin presses and the gallows with
resolooshcns, but the kiverln wuz too
thin and they showed thro very plainly.
This spot wuz tenanted by Boss Tweed
and Holman, surrounded with Connolly,
Oakley Hall and all NV them fellows,
and over their heads wuz the ghosts NV
Wigfall, Yancey and Benedict Arnold.
thought saw HIS Majesty, Sat n the
J., sailin about with the ghost NV Yam
cey, but it mite hev bin some one else.
There wuz one quicksand marked where
Seward went down-in very bad smell
lin pool Chase wuz Hoatin about on a
board marked " Supreme Bench" max
in feeble attempts to land somewhere.
There wuz a few solid spots Nv ground,
Moo York, Kentucky, and Maryland,
and on them the live men were standin.
From this unpromisin locality there wuz
a path up to the heights above, but it
wuz narrer, broken, crooked and steep,
and besides that, passage from the low
er to the higher region wuz desperately
opposed by the array Nv men who ok
kepied it.
| noticed that the party on the bluff
all wore sad expression. The ghost
of Linkin let fall sperit tear, and Grant
and Morton leokt ez sad ez the they
wuz losin their fathers. Colfax, in per-
tikeler, seemed inconsolable, and wuz
a tearin his hair with greet. Curious to
know wat it wuz that wuz causin all this
commoshen, shifted my posishen so ez
TO get view Nv the entire arrangement,
and saw it at once. Tweed and Hoff-
man he'd histed up long ladder to the
top " the rock, wich wuz really q Gu
riosity. The sides wuz made out of
hickory campane poles wich he'd done
servis from the time NV Polk down to
Seymour; and the rounds were spokes
from the wheels NV Confedrit cannon.
Tho ladder wuz labelled "Cincinnati,"
and the rounds "civil servis reform"
"one-term," and SO on. Holman and
Connolly wuz holdin the feet NV the
ladder steddy, and Boss Tweed stood by
EN-, holdin out scrawl labelled Pres
idency." On the top NV the bluff stood
Horris Greeley, clothed in glory, and
perfeckly radiant in his attire. His old
head wuz crowned with laurels-in fact
he wuz walkin arbor Nv EN-. He he'd
one foot on the first round Nv the lad
der.
"Come back n shouted Colfax.
"COme to us! shouted the crowd
below.
"Come back to yoor friends, 700
idiotW scd Morton.
"Come to us, and 700 shell hev this 7"
sed Tweed, flauntin the scroll.
That settled him. His face changed
from the innocence NV the lamb to the
hungry cagerdis NV the wolf, and down
he went. He made o mistep and par
shelly fell, knocking off all his laurels.
His appearance changed. The ladder
he'd bin roughly made, and wuz full NV
splinters. His ekal rites cloak caught
one NV EN- and wuz torn of. A nail
head on the next round stripped off
his proteckshen coat, another on the
next knockt his anti-corrupshen vest
into smithereens, his civil rites pants
wuz taken of by the next, and by the
time he got to the fom tn, ne wuz di.
vested NV everything under heavens
wich made him sizable, and stood there
shiverin in the wind, a mizrable, de-.
formed, weak, shaky, diminutive,
shrunken man, with nothin under
Heaven remarkable about him but his
white hat, and the fact that he he'd one
boot and one shoe on.
Tweed and his friends saw the shrinkin
process goin on ez he approached them,
and they become alarmed.
"Good Lord !" sed Okey Hall. "ef he
amt any bigger and more muskeler
than he looks now we can't make any
yoosc NV him. He'll never be strong
enough to pull US out NV thisr'
Them on the bluff, ,wich he'd regarded
his deparcher with sich looks NV sad
ness: bust out into pecls Nv latfture.
"Thcro amt hundredth part ez
much Nv him Cd We sposed," !" shouted
they. "We've nothin TO fear from
him !" and they laffed vociferously at
the ridiculous figgerhe wuz maxim Nv
hisself.
All this time Horris wuz standin on