The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-02-06
A NabOb's Visit to New York.
BY MARX TWAIN.


In Nevada there used to he currant tho
story OF an adventure of two of her Nabobs
which may or may not have occurred. I give
it for what it is worth:
Col. Jim had seen somewhat of the world
and knew more or less of its ways; but Col
Jack was from the back settlements of the
States, had led a life of arduous toll and had
never seen city.
These two possessed with sudden wealth,
projected visit to New York-Col. Jack to
see the sights, and Col. Jim to guard his un-
sophistication from misfortune. They reach
ed San Francisco in the night and sailed in
the morning. Arrived in New York, Col
Jim said:
''Pve heard tell of carriages all my life, and
now 1 mean to have a ride in one. 1 don't
care what it costs; come along"
They stepped on the sidewalk and Col.
Jim called stylish barouche. But Col. Jack
said:
| mo, sir; none of your cheap-J ohm turnouts
for me. Pm here to have good time, and
money aim any object. mean to have the
nobbiest rig that's going Now here comes
the very trick. Stop that yaller one with the
pictures on it--don't you fret-I stand all the
expenses myself"
So Col Jim stopped an empty omnibus and
they got in. Said Col Jack:
"Ain't it gay, though? Oh, no, / reckon
not. Cushions and windows and pictures tin
you can't rest. What would the boys say if
they could see us cutting swell like this in
New York? By George, 1 wish. they could
see u.s.
Then he put his head out of the window
and shouted to the driver.
''Say, Johnny, this suits me l-suits yours
truly, you bet you'll l want this she-bang all
day. Pm on it, old man! Let 'em outl
Make 'em go! We'llmake it all right to you,
sonnyp'
The driver passed his hand through the
strap-hole, and tapped for his fare-it was be-
fore the gongs come into common use. Col.
Jack took the hand and shook it cordially.
He said:
tween gents Smell of that, and see how you
like itp'
And he put twenty dollar gold piece in
the drivers hand. After moment the 0riv-
er said he could not make change.
Bother the change Ride out. Put it in
your pocket"
Then to Col. Jim, with sounding slap on
his thigh;
'Ain't it style, though? Hanged if Idon't
hire this thing every day for a week."
The omnibus stopped and young lady got
in. Col Jack started for moment, then
nudged Col. Jim with lis elbow.
'Don't say word,' he whispered, '1et
her ride If she wants to. Gracious, ther's
room enough.
The young lady got out her portemonni@.
and handed her fare to Col. Jack.
''What's this for ?' he said.
Give it to the driver, please"
Take back your money, madame. We
can't allow it. You are welcome to ride
here as long as you please, but the she-bang is
chartered, we shan't let you pay cent"
The girl shrank into corner bewildered.
An old lady with basket, climbed in, and
proffered her fare.
''Excuse me-" said Col Jack. You are
perfectly welcome here, madame, but we
can't allow you to pay. Set right down there,
mum, and, don't you feel uneasy. Make
yourself as free as if you were in your own
turnout
Within two minutes three gentlemen, two
tat women and a couple of children entered.
Come right along, friends" said Col.
Jack; ''don't mind us. This is free blow
out" Then he whispered to Col. Jim, New
York amt no sociable place, don't reckon;
it amt no name for it."
He resisted every effort to pay fares to the
driver, and made everybody cordially well
come. The situation dawned on the people,
and they pocketed their money and delivered
themselves up to covert enjoyment of the epi-
sode. Half-a-dozen more passengers entered.
"Oh, there is plenty of room" said Colonel
Jack walk right in and make yourselves
at home. A blowout amt worth anything
as blowout unless body has company"
Then in whisper to Col. Jim: 'But amt
these New Yorkers friendly? And amt they
cool about it, too? Icebergs amt anywhere.
reckon they'd tackle hearse, if it was 60
ing their way"
More passengers got in; more yet, and still
more. Both seats were filled, and file of
r0n rrnr c40 fnrr hold 1srNrx a. IL
cleats overhead. Parties with baskets and
bundles were climbing up to the roof. Half
suppressed laughter rippled up from all sides.
"Well, for clean, COOL out-and-out cheek,
if this don't bang anything that ever saw,
Pm an Ingun," whispered Col. Jack.
A Chinaman crowded his way in.
II weaken" said Col Jack. "Hold on,
driverl Keep your seats, ladies and gents.
just make yourselves free-everything's paid
for, Driver, rustic these folks around as long
rs they're mind to go-friends of ours, you
know. Take them everywhere, and if you
want more money, come to the St. Nicholas,
and we'll make it all right. Pleasant journey
to you, ladies and gents go it just as long as
you please-it shan't cost you a cent?
The two comrades got out, and Col. Jack
said:
''Jimmy, it's the sociablest place 1 ever
saw. The Chinaman waltzed in as comforta-
BILE as anybody. If we'd stayed awhile, /
reckon we'd had some niggers. By George,
We'll have to barricade our doors tonight, or
some of these ducks will be trying to sleep
with u.s."