Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-01-18
OF rs APPETIZER.

The "saAron.hucl Angel of
Death " is the hard name which
Mississippians give to the yellow fo.
Yer.
Shakespeare wauld never have
asked, " What's in an ann = if ha
had been been hit on the head with
u brick.
A careless Austrian surgeon LEFT
his hng"r.ring in an injarcd mans
wound, thereby causing his death.
-Guipure lace will constitute an
important item Of ladies' wear and
papas' sware this winter, Boston
/ Pest.
An African church South, it is
said, recently expelled female mem
Der on the charge of being "doublo.
deaded that is, wearing ciignon.
Proof positive, Good young
lady" Little boy have you ever
been baptised p Small heathcn--
"Oh, yes, mum; I've the marks here
ON my arm l"--Jaay
A model advertisement is found
in an English paper " Notice--lf my
husband, who left Bristol four years
ago, does not return to his wife with.
in three months from this date, she
intends to get married.
When interest on n debt be.
comes due, pay it at tie time,
whether your creditor wants it or
not, Never aak HIM to swat till
next week." but pay it. P0nctuality
is key to every mans Ghost.
| The season for shooting mothers,
in,law in Indiana has opened auspic.
iously, The way to do the thing is
to mistake the old lady tor bear or
burgular, and pcrforatc her with a
shot gun. No, shot is generally
used.
We venture TO suggest q simple
plan for the reformation Of the habit
ual tippler, without deprlying him Of
/ his liberty let him, @hene'er he
takes his walks abroad, be conspicu.
ously labeled, "ro be kept dry
-" Mar, why don't you speak ?"
asked little Jake. "Why don't you
say suthin' runny?' What can |
say = Don't you see lam busy frying
dough nuts ? Say something funny,
indeed !" oval, yer might say
Jake, won't yer hev a cake "
That I'D be funny for g0w."
"A flial ten ycar-old of Milton
burg, Ohio, gathered and sold chest.
nuts enough this season to present
his widowed mother an excellent
sewing machine with the proceeds,
He would make a good Sunday.
school book were 1t not that his hay.
ing to hook tbs chestnuts would be
rather damaging.
"A negro waiter, who had twice
awakened q traveller to inform him
that breakfast was ready, and third
time broak his slumbcrs by attempt.
ing TO pull Off the led clothes, thus
explained Massa, if you isn't
gwino to git up, must hab do sheet
anyhow, ease dey're waiting for de
table. clof!"
On one Of the recent cold nights
a Nashua lady puther two boys in bed
ia cold room, tucked them up aud
sat down on the edge Of the bed to
hear them say their prayers.
Johnny, aged seven, got through all
right, ard cuddled up to Willie, aged
FIVE, who bad Just commenced TO say
his prayer. Presently Willie began
to hurry, the words came faster than
ne could distinctly utter them, and
tho prayer ended thus I" pray the
Lord nay soul to keep amen--take
your hand oh'm me or III warm
your ear for you" Johnny was try.
ing to tickle him.
--" Now, gentleman" said a per,
ipatctic lecturer, to somewhat noisy
crowd who had gathered to orc Of
his scances in al Eastern village,
F." how would you like good black.
guard story 2 Al il favor VIII raiac
their hands" Nine.tcnths Of the
dexter paws present instantly sent
up, and there was sudden bush Of
all noisy demonstrations. The lee.
turer went ou With his original sub
jcct for a few mini tes, whon some in
canious individual broke out with
/" Say, where's that story % " Bless
you," was the reply, 81 did not in.
tend to tell You any snch story. !
only wanted to know how many
blackguards were present. You
might have heard pin drop any
time during the lecture after that.
--This is the kind Of weather that
makes the livery aud doctors busi
ness lively. Those who start out for
sleigh ride nova days usually take
buggy along to ride home iu, and
Djee vers0, whiIo some livery stable
keepers employ corps Of mon with
thermometers on their hats 10 stanl
around town and watch for any
change in the weather that win ne
cessitate tbs change Of their rolling
stock from runners TO wheels. The
man that is frost bitten to-day dies Of
snn-atEoke tomorrow snd one phys
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