The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-08-17
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES:

ueilchte co"puneut fot euo ~r"~'o@, 0""~A-
date for governor:
The Carlyle brass band discoursed most ex.
cellent music on the occasion OF Gglesbys speech
hast Saturday. II was the principal attraction
Of the day.-Cdr'yls Constitution.
AT the funeral of a woman in the neighbor.
hood, one day recently, sympathetic and ad-
stirring neighbor volunteered the information that
"for patient resignation the corpse could dance
around any woman living."-Ddnbary Neacs.
As the people don't seem to relish our Office
holders song,
.One good term deserves another,
Four years mere; four years more"
we would suggest to the Great American Seaside
noiterers' Glee Club, that :" The Cottage BY the
Sea-" would be very appropriate song, besides
the sentiment is suggestive-it fondly dwells
upon the memory of departed hopes.-Diron Sun.
We have always thought, says the New York
Express, that the ladies might have their ear
fings Of some practical value, especially in trav
ding, If, for instance, they would wear q good
sized valise in one car, and an ordinary lunch.
basket in the other.
Mr.. W. n. Monk, of the Ottawa FREE TRADER
called at our office on Saturday. Not finding
any liberals in this vicinity, he promised to come
administrator Monitor.
The statement cont .ined in the last sentence
is as near the truth as the penny post Office pee
wees are2capable of getting. There are so many
Liberals in Streator and vicinity that the post
master editor of the Monitor is about the only
Grant man in the neighborhood. In another
column of the issue from which the foregoing lie
clipped, the Monitor man alludes to the Liberal
meeting held in Streator on Tuesday week, in
which he makes assertions that prove he was
either not present and had been wrongly Inform
ed, or that he ia guilty of bare.faced untruth.
There are two things IN this world that are
not safe to trife with-a woman's opinion and
the business end of a wasp.-Daab@sy Neaos.
The editress of western journal recently an
nounced that the arrival of an extra male
prevented the prompt issue of her paper.
cause he wrote "anOther factory" and lived to
SEQ in print - mother factory. "-Lo,asci1e
Courier.
The departure of the editor of the Grand R,cer
iSachem on the press excursion is thus announced:
"The Old Chief is of--gone, cut sticks, with
the rest of the press gang for the Free Grant
or Muskota' district, and if he don't locate there
he will at least stay away for one whole week,
80 WE 1.-THE young Injun are left to run the ma.
chine and we intend to run it with vengeance,
so if you want puff bring on your presents,
from pin to an anchor, from a strawberry to a
peach, or from pea to pumpkin. All is fish
that comes to our net and we are prepared to
be at home to all who may visit the sanetum
with the proper vouchers, and to duly honor
them. wink, you know, etc."
The Fulton county Ledgsr says:
The RAIDS are having their flag pole on the
square reprinted. But they cannot whitsn their
principles--they are too black.
Gen. Logon and Dick Oglesby are on the war
path.-Massxc Journal.
Yes, and Gov. Kprner il as good for the scalp
OF the latter in November next nickle is for
ginger cake. Logan ought to be pretty we'll
acquainted with the war path. He has been on
both sides "f it.-Jonesbor0 Gazette
We know a man here in Morris who is at1ict.
ed with such overwhelming selfesteem that he
is never known to speak of himself without
taking oft his hat.-Her@td.
That man is the editor of the Herald
A traveller in Florida remarks:
This Ia the land where towns consist of one
house; where steamboats, make eight miles an
hour where railroads carry you four miles an
hour upon my honor they are four hours going
sixteen miles from ToCol to st. Augustinel;
where the happy maxim rules never do to-day
what you can put off till Tomorrow where the
mail comes enthusiastically; where the news.
paper is almost as rare as snow storms; and
where kilograms are unknown"
Scofers at science, who don't believe that flies
have 205,352 pores, have only to catch one and
count them.--Ex.
We would sooner science would teach us how
to catch the flies than inform us regarding their
pores.
&C. Eli Perkins is with the Seventh IN. Y.1
regiment at Saratoga. The following is clipped
from his correspondence to the N. Y. Commercial
AdcertiSer
An innocent young lady asked Inc to-day if
the seventh regiment fellows had seen service
been in many engagements.
told her they habitat almost eyery man
had been in ut least dozen engagements. and
many OF them were probably ems aged to several
Young ladies that very moment.
10 severalp Now! she exclaimed, opening
her big brown eyes.
Well, said I, you know New York is . large
''sY{ IT,.
Now, some of these nice looking fellows Ar. en-.
gagged to young ladies below Fourteenth street,
70 girls that they never take up town, girl. that
.nSy take to Humpty Dumpty, Niblos aud Wal.
Yes.
linen some OF them are sweet On girls on
Iwentv.third street, sweet on sentin entail girls,
VINO dote GU the Fifth Avenue theatre, the
Yes.
And some of them have girls 'on the string
away up BY the pHrk riris WIN a.li.,hA q