The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-11-15

A medical student Of some promise !
defined the much talked of "foot and |
mouth disease" as a combination Of
chilblains and toothaehe.
John is struck with foolishness of
employing coroners jury to find out
why women take poison; he says
they do it to kill themselves.
Somebody mentioned the other
day something about jokes that are
ten years old, whereat a person across
the room sang out, inquiring wheth
er such be decaed jokes.
They are saying all sorts of things
about the intelligent musquito, but
no one has yet accused him of being
fool enough to fill a kerosene lamp
while it was lighted.
A love-lcrn youth in Ohio, with
mathematical turn ofmind, has dis
covered that five years of patient at
tention to his sweetheart has cost
1882 miles Of pedestrinarianism.
Spinks is not going to do any
more conundrums, He asked his
wife why he was like donkey, and
she said because he was born so, and
he says the answer is very different
from that.
A gentleman lately addressed a
passionate billet to a lady in the
same town adding this curious post
script: 'Please send me a speedy
answer, as 1 have somebody else in
my eye"
If your neighbor's hens are trou-
blesome, and steal across the way,
don't let your angry passions rise;
fix place for EN- to lay.
A lady with very inharmonious
voice insisted upon singing at re-
cent party. "What does she call
thatP' inquired a guest. "The Tenn
pest, I think" answered another
=. 'Don't be alarmed" said sea cap
j, tain present, sit is no tempest, it's
e merely a squal and will soon be
7 overr'
The Danbury Nelcs says: Pool
but dishonest young boys faster
: wrought nails to the ends of strings
e and harpoon apples and sweet pota
. toes from their abiding places il
a front of the stores. This may be
y considered sport, but it is the frs
!. step in the downward road to Con
: gress.
). The toast of "the ladies'
= given at a recent literary ban
Guet thus: "Woman-the fairest
! work in all creation. The edition
l is large, and no man should be with
! out copy"
At a certain church fair, a set O
! Cooper's works was promised to thu
individual who should answer Ger
tain set of conundrums. A dashins
I young follow was pronounced tht
! winner, and received a set of wood
f en- pals.
A man in Detroit concluded hC
e had smoked his pipe long enough
\ and just before going into church ht
> placed it in his back coat pocket
q A good fire got under way just abou
S the time the services did. They
e put him out, and now the man il
e around gro Wing because he hasn'
? any coat tails.
/. The publisher of the Bradley
e County ark Eagle thus excuse
:. himself for the delay in issuing hi
g paper: GA printer who is a press
= man, Compositor, makeup of forms
p sad setter does all the job-work
d clipping copy and writing for TWEEN
e ty-tour column paper newspaper
u may have the dead wood on strikes
q but we will be hanged if he hasn'
got his hands full when it comes t.
e doing all his work, and having ST,
= chills week"
9 At a party where questions wher
u asked and fecetious if not felicitou
e answers were expected, coal deale
e asked what legal authority was th
a favorite with his trade. One al
L swered, "Coke." Right" said th
coal dealer. Another suggeste
q Blackstone" "Good, too," sal
n the questioner. Then a little hard
E. faced man in the corner piped ou
le 'Littleton," Whereupon the co;
Is dealer sat down without saying any
y thing.
st A ten-year-old, boasting to
h schoolmate of his fathers accon
-e plishments, put it thus: "My fatht
M can do almost anything. He's a M
le tary public, he's a pothecary and ca
ID pull teeth, and he's horse doctC
is and he can mend chairs, wagons an
" things, and he can play the fddl
and he's a regular jassack at a
ID trades"
A subscriber wrote to the editor {
i Newark paper to ask the meanin
n of the phrase, maOrs omnibus con
is naunis. The editor said it was
y French sentence intended to explai
something about Morse's omnibuse
r: being of service to the community
a At the same time, he said, the ser
q tence was evidently constructed b
" some idiot, who thought he kner
II French when he didn't, and const
qlently several very important word