The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-10-11
Old Time Remedies.

AFTER ages OF EXPERIMENT. and eX-
perience, the art of curing is still such
an uncertain art that thousands might
say, as the poor invalid said at never
toek a remedy, but I've had lots of,
physic." DR.. Whately could have said
Just the contrary. He did not take lots
of physic, but had a remedy. neverthe-
less, that stood him in good stead at all.
times and seasons. A gentleman MAX
ing an evening call at Redesdale when
the snow lay two feet thick upon the
ground, was much scandaiized at be-
holding an old man in, shirt sleeves
hard at work telling a tree, while the
sleet drifted piteously in his wrinkled
face. Upon expressing his surprise
that the archbishop should let an old
laborer work in such fashion, he was
astOnished to learn that the poor fellow
exciting his wrathful pity was the
archbishop himself, getting rid of
headache in his usual way, which was
to throw off his coat, lay hold of an
ak, rush out of doors, and, belabor
some stout old trunk till he found him
self perspiring freely; when down
went the AK, and off went DIR. Whate-
ly as hard as he could tear to his bed
room, to wrap himself up in his newest
blankets, go to sleep, and arise by
and by has fresh as a four-year.old.n
Sydney Smith prepared for all eventu-
alities by devoting one side of a room
to collection Ofmediciues, on which he
plumed himselfnot little. There's
the Gentle,joy, pleasure to take it; the
Bulldog, for more serious cases Peters
Puke. and Hearts Delight-the COM
fort of all the old women in the village !;
Rub-a-dub, a capital embrocatiOn !;
Dead stop settles the matter at once,
and Up-with-it-then needs no explana-
ton. This is the house to be ill in; ;
everybody who comes here is expected
to take little of something. 1 con-
slider it a delicate compliment when
my guests have slight illness. We
have contrivances for everything. Ii
you have stiff neck or q swelled face,
here is this sweet case of tin, filled
with hot water, and covered with fam
mel; to put around your neck, and you
are well directly. Likewise, a patent
tin shoulder, in case of rheumatism.
There you see a stomach tin. the great
est comfort in life and lastly, here is
tin slipper, to be filled with hot
water, which you can sit with in the
drawing-rOom,, should you come in
chilled, without wetting your feet. I"
Sidney Smith had almost as much faith
in hot water as Burke, only he was
for its external use; some of his con-
trivances might certainly be generally
adopted with advantage. Scott's
Ashestiel blacksmith, who, upon the
strength of little veterinary skill, set
up as doctor of human kind in a
small English town, was, q man of few
remedies. AS he told Sir Walter, his
practice was very sure, and perfectly or
thOdox, for he depended entirely on
1.-TWO simples." And what may they
be ?" asked Scott, with some curiosity.
GIL tell your honor,n said Lundie- I;
"my two simpIes are Just laudamy and
calamy" "Simples with a vengeance"
exclaimed the poet. =. Do you never
happen to kill some of your patients,
John ~ Kill! Gu ay, maybe, sac
Whites they die, and whites no but
it's will o. providence. Onyhow, your
honor, if wad be lang before it
makes up for Fodder v' That last
touch went straight to Seott'ss heart,
we may sure. JOHNNY Lundie was not
quite SO frank with the unlucky. VIC
TINS OF his orthodox practice fraukiess
with them would have been unpro-
fessional. 1t would perhaps be a
change for the better if European doc
tors could initiate the plain-speaking
Chinaman, Ii Pc Sal, who when called
in by California gentleman, after the
usual examination, said, 81 think you
too much dance, too much eat, too
much good round. If you dance, you
no; better, TOO much eating no good,
too much goOi1ng round no good. Good
by!'' Dared our medical advisers, be
as honest as their Chinese Brother,
drugs would be at a discount indeed; but
then it is just possible the. registrar
general might be able to show a clearer
bill of health. ..-r