Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-05-04
WIT AND HUMOR.


Country. .aeat-A milking stool:
Howte b wise-:Drink sage tea.
Fsrpstd&f noaon-Rsnt and taxes.
Agood 'iids shew-A. pretty cheek.
Mere natssr q f0rn-Fittins .
dress.
The woman question-Is he mar
Marin. .easurensns- The yard Of
. ship. -
Counter sttractions-HAnd d so mo
clerks. -: .,.., ,,,St :, ,Sss,.....f,ss *
Cash sdvahcsa- attentions to . rich
widow. ~. - -
Courtship ls bliss, but nstrimony 10
The Joy ofthe dumb is always I'M.
speakabfe. .
Song q the ey.tsr-Ksep me in my
little bed. ..,.a4
n.Boeie paints il the concentrated
slang for frontier whisky.
A good hotel.keepAr il . man that
one can always put up with. !,
Bankers ought to prosper. They al
ways take 90 much interest 10 their
business.
Where ought we always nnd the
milk Of human kindnessi In the pale
Of the church. -
When Adam and Eve partook Of
the tree of knowledge, did they study
the higher branchesi
How 10 obtain the gift 10 give ub
the power :" to zee ourselves as others
see us rs+.Ruu for ofBce. 'Is."ssf'i
ReptuA1ce wit6odt aulendment e
like continual pumping in ship with
out stopping the leaks.
/ An old lady writing to her son out
West tells him to Be ware OF bilious
ssloonS and S6wA alleys.
why is sugar made in the old style
preferable, to that made in the new
lstylef Becanse it can't be beet.
j A tailor Who III skating fell through
the ics declared he would never again
leave 2 hot goose for \ cold duck. /.
| A,Wegserp editor lately returned :
tailers bill with the indorsement
Yoif manuscript i declined; II i
illegible. = 8 =. s.
A buncomer fence was described BY
q witness under examination in Court
an . fence that :" il bull strong, horse
high, and pig tight" =
A queer old gentleman being asked
what he wished for dinner, replied :
An appetite, good company, some.
thing to eat and napkin
I-z'A lady widowed By the Chicago
conhagration has b6en recently re.
) married. Her second husband calls
her his relic Of the great fire.
Il A man ont West was offered plata
of mac4sroni soup. bat declined it, de.
claring that theyS's* couldn't play Oh
any billed pipe-stefns on him."
All! mused Smith, - he contemplar
ted bis extensive collection OF New
! Years bills, How true it is that in
, the midst Of life We are in debt" -
y "A young lady upoc one occasion re;
| quested. Der lover to define love
Well, SAL SAID he, it is to an inward
imprcssibility and an outward sll
, ovefishhess.S ~ II
"Why, Sarah, yOu look good enough
to est, " said . loving husband to bid
wife one morning ct breakfast,
, " Well, l am eating as fast a. can
ain't r. was the ready reply. Z
), He whose Wishes respecting til
, possessions Of this world are the mos
reasonable and bounded, is likely d
: lead the safest, and, for that. reason
s. the most desirablo life.. IL ,s.:, !.
, Don't yoa remember the WORTH
' your le6s0ni It's the word afte,
, cheese. {" What comes aftef' cheese
"Mouse,' triumphantly exclaimed tn
puplL.x = ~.
There IL nothing like beginning lif
with settled economical principled
Extravagance is . habit easily con
+ tracted aud goes on increasing In vol
3 Iume as . snow. ball does when rollinI
. down hill. e'sFs -
el A physician in town being asked 3
: . patient il h6 thought little spirit
now and then would hurt him muc
/ replied, 70 Edo not know that lit
e now aud then would hurt yeu much
Il but il you don't take any, it won
= hurt you vt all"
"Lo0k ct that poor blind man fee
ling his way with . stick said cor
q passionate miss. 6 His friends OQHl