Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-06-22
Facts and Famcaes.

n notice OF a. -peal-ilghtenfng
A weather report--A clap Of shun-
der. 80
Was Dolly v. Arden sister Of En-
och !?
Ministers Of the Interior - Country
clergy.
What part of ship is like farmer !?
The tiler.
The conjunctige mood-thoughts Of
matrimony.
Favorite air with young ladies-A
millionaire.
Favorite air with married ladies'
The first heir.
Bores that most people have to put
up with-neigh-b -bores.
Grease spots may be removed from
silk by pair OF scissors.
The greatest peer that England ever
Observation-Disclosures.
Why are handouts like guide books ?
Because they are made for two wrists.
A man who don't know anything will
tell it the first time he gets chance.
WHY is mid,oeean like Broadway
Because there you find your big 'swells
"Dick, what do you call sheer non
sense ?" ''Why, shearing pig for bis
wool"
$50 I'm told, as the church bell re-
marked when it heard Of the villagers
death.
Why should ladies make good consta>
bles Because they are SO fond of Sat
tachments."
Lye, as beverage, is coming TO be
regarded as rather unwhoesome for
small children.
An exchange noticing the marriage of
a contemporary, wishing him posterity
and happiness.
Loves young dream A little signing,
little crying, u little dying, and very
great deal of lying.
Corsets are said TO be going ont Of
fashion, \ mistake. Taat fashion
stays with Us always.
Victora's youngest daughter is just
turned thirteen, aud her firs: name /,
Beatrice Mary Victoria Feodore.
Ice ,hirty-three inches thick, and so
clear that newspaper can he read
through it, is product Of Minnesota.
The types made one of the Troy pa
pers inform its readers that the polls
would be open "trom sundown to sun
set.
The saying that 'there is more pleas
uro in giving than receiving is sup
posed to.apply to kicks, medicine aud ad
vice.
Texas wants to be divided into two
or more States. They say that one
Governor cannot pardon all the scoun-
drels there.
Josh Billings says: "Give the devil
his dues, reads very we'll in proverb;
"but what would become Nv you aud me
ef this arrangement is carried out.
Some one remarks that il the best
mans faults were written ON his fore
head, it would make him pull his hat
down over his eyes.
Miss Acott remarks that in the West
the air is full of women. In the East
it is just the reyerse--the women are
full OF airs.
Tie assertion so frequently made, that
it is impossible to stop the fright OF time,
is altogether incorrect, for who is there
that cannot stop minute
The Engineering and Mining Jonr-
nal has an editorial on Gas in Con-
grcss" No reflection on the members
is intended, though how the editor could
resist the temptation is wolder.
"Don't leave the court.room, wit
ness," said a Shiawasse LAWYER during
the trial of case / may want to
question you farther" "Father's dead
and can't be questioned" replied the
witness.
An unpleasant person says it is
great convenience to have women for
postmistresses. They cannot only in
form an applicant if there is q letter for
him without looking, but can telt him
what's in 1t.
'In London no man thinks of black
ing his own boots y Said a naughty
Briton once to the late Mr.. Lincoln,
whom he found polishing his calfskin
CATERS.
"Whose boots does he black ?" quiet
ly responded Uncle Abe, as he spit on
the brush.
The hatre2 of favorites is nothing
more han love of favor. Our indig-
nation at not possessing it ourselves is
soothed and mitigatcd by the contempt
we express for those who do: and we
refuse them our homage, because we
are not able to deprive them of that
which procures them the homage OF
every one else.
Two Germans once got into a dis
pute about The English language, each
one contendpg that he could command
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