The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-11-29
scHsoRDas.

When autumn Is married to winser
the weddinS cake is always frosted
Mrs Par;iagton SAYS that since the
invention of the needle gun there i
no reason why women shou,dn iisit
as we'll as men.
Billings says: There AIT any.
thing that will konp.esely kure ] .zy-
ness, Dls have known second WI
to hurry 1t sum"
When lovely woman dons Dol
", and finds. too late, men Ioi't
admire it, she'd better try some other
folly, and to a circus rider hire it.
An experienced boy says he lool
upon hunger and the Christening rod
as about alike in the effect they pro
duce upon him. Both make him
Loller.
4 Halifax man married lady the
other day without consulting his
grown-up daughters. They whipped
him. pulled her hair, and took him
home in triumph.
4 Danbury man has an interesting
heirloo in the shape of hat which
was worn through one hundred and
eighty-two drunks, and still retains
traces of its former beauty.
A Mississippi paper has recently
had a correspondent who signed hin,-
self ''Methusela. - Another one now
goes him several better and subscrib-
es himself as Immortality"
Sensitive New England people are
accused of being annoyed because
urchins go swimming about the
wharves. whose entire bathing suit
. consists of rag around stubbeo
toe.
"A Louisville horse with the blind
staggers went into a clothing store
to do his falling around, and had to
be chloroforlned before he would be
convinced that it wasn't the place for
him.
A Tennessee sleeping.car full of
slumberers, was lately tossed into a
ditch by a switching train. Nobody
was seriously injured, but it was
some time before identities were
throughly established.
Georgia" asked the teacher Of a
Sunday School class, 'fwho above all
Others shall you wish to see when
you get to heaven?@ With face
Frightening up with anticipation, the
little fellow shouted 'Gerliahl
Think of the agony of the Lewis
toa man who got up before daylight,
built fire and put Il new skin hat
: upon the steve in place of the tea
kettle. and did not find out his mis-
take Until it was burned to crisp.
In st. Louis, recently, a scoundrel
tried to blow up number of sleep
ing policemen. The vigilant guar
dians of that town can hardly rest at
night, such is, the boldDoss OF the
prowling Williams who invest the place.
The Titnsville Press prints the fol-
lowing recipe: ITO find out the
number of children in a street beat
base dram. To find out the mum
Der of idle men. start dog fight.
10 fine cut the number of women let
a womaa go throsgh quite street
with the latest style of bonnet on"
A tailor of massive intellect has
5 hatchea an idea from the broad
fronted cravats Dow in use and SO
much affected by exquisites. He
proposes To make q suit consisting
entirely of cravat, to be wound round
the body and limbs from neck to
ankle and then to be fastened with a
diamond p n.
A Cincinnati youth, guided by
the advice of fortune teller, sought
to make girl love him by the means
of electricity working from. under
the chair. When-she time came she
sprang into. the airabout three feet,
and when she came down she landed
In her lovers hair. and. took. about
two handfuis, and then told hian she
Aated him. No match. No cares.