The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1872-03-21
A NabOb'S Visit to New York City.
BY MARK TWAIN.

nabobs, which may or may not have oc
Cured. give it for what it is worth.
Colonel Jim had seen somewhat of the
world, and knew more or less of its ways
but Colonel Jack was from the back set
Elements of the States, had led life of
arduous toll, and had never seen city.
These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
projected visit to New York-Colonel
Jack to see the sights, aud Colonel Jim
to guard his unsophisticaton from mis-
fortune. They reached San Francisco
in the night and sailed in the morning.
Arrived in New York, Colonel Jack said:
I've heard tell of carriages all my life,
and now | mean to have ride in one
[ don't care what it costs. Come along"
They stepped on the sidewalk, and
Colonel Jim called a stylish barouche.-
But Colonel Jack said
"No, sir None of your cheap John
turnouts for me. I'm here to have good
time, and money amt any object l
mean to have the nobbiest rig that's 60
ing. Now here comes the very trick
Stop that yelIer one with the pictures on
it-don't you fret-Ill pay all the ex-
pense myself"
So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus
and they got in. Col. Jack:
"Ain't it gay thought Oh! no, l
reckon not. Cushions, windows, and pic
lures till you can't rest. What would
the boys say if they could see US cutting
swell like this in New York BY
George wish they could see US
Tho, bo r,,t ~, haal ont Of ho
dow, and shouted to the driver:
Say, Johnny, this suits me suits
yours truly, you bet E! l want this she
bang all day. I'm on it, old man ! Let
EN- out (! Make 'em 60. Well make it
all right to you, sonny"
The driver passed his hand through
the strap hole, and tapped for his fare
it was before gongs came into common
use. Col Jack took the hand aud shook
/ it cordially. a-
Here the omnibus stopped, aud nice
young lady entered.
"Don't say word" he whispered
| "Let her ride if she wants to. Gracious,
there's room enough"
The young lady got out her portemon-
naie, aud handed her fare to Col. Jack.
What's this for p he said.
"Give to the driver, please"
"Take back your money, madam. We
cau't allow it. You are welcome to ride
here as long as you please, but the she
bang is charted. We shan't let you pay
cent"
The girl shrank iu to corner bewilder-
ed. An old lady with basket climbed
in aud proffered her fare.
"Excuse me-" said Col. Jack. "1ou
are perfectly welcome here, madam, but
we can't allow you to pay. Set right
down there, mum, and don't you feel the
last uneasy. Make yourself as free as il
you er; In your own turn out.
Within two minut three gentlemen
two fat women, and couple of children
entered.
Come right along, friends" said Col
Jack don't mind US. This is a fret
blowout" Then he whispered to Col
Jim, "New Y ork amt no name for it"
He resisted every effort to pass fare
to the driver, aud made everybody cordial
ly welcome. The situation dawncd OF
the people, and they pocketed their money
aud delivered themselves up to covert en-
joymeut of the episode. Half a dozeI
more passengers entered.
.,Oh, there is plenty Of room" sai'
Col Jack. "Walk right in and max
yourselves at home. a blow out ain
worth anything as a blow out, unless
body has company" Then in whls
per to Col. jim: 'But amt these Ne'
Workers friendly And amt they coo
about it, too? Icebergs amt anywhere
| reckon they'd tackle hearse if 1T wa
goin' their way" o'
More passengers got in more yet, an
still more. Both seats were filled, and
6lc of men were standing up holding o
to the cleats overhead. Parties wit
e baskets ond bundles were climbing up
s the roof. Half suppressed laughtea riI
pied up from all sides.
h "Well, for clean, cool, out and OF
cheek, if this don't bang anything tn;
ever | saw, I'm an IDjun," whisPere
= Col Jack. sa sdl
A Cbinamau crowded his way in.
81 weaken" said Col. Jack. "HoI
= on, driver Keep your seats, ladies' au
;. gents. just make yourselves free-ever
things paid for. Driver, rustic the
/. folks around as long as they're mind
IT eo-friends of ours, you know. Tai
them everywhere, and If you want mo
y money come to the st. Nicholas aud we
make it all right. Pleasant journey
you, ladies and gents 60 it just as io'
as you please-it shan't cost you cent
The two comrades got out, and C'
!. Jack said:
Y. Jimmy, its the sociablest place | eV
n saw. The Chinanan waltzed in as col
Portable as anybody. If we'd staid wh
I reckon We d had some niggers.
George, wen have to barrieade our doc
to night, or some of these ducks will