The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-05
A Straw Candidate.

In San Francisco newspaper, some
weeks since, appeared the advertisement
of one d. q. Harmon, announcing him
self as an independent candidate for
Congress. "Who is Harmon Z" waJ the
general interrogatory; and it will be
seen that many thirsty souls received
balmy satisfaction upon that point be-
fore Mr.. Harmon retired from the con-
test, which he did in short time through
the medium of another advertisement.
The secret of this curious canvass will be
presently unfolded, for Harmon upon
appealing to his fellow citizens conjee-
tured that the readiest and most certain
way of going point blank to their hearts
was through their stomachs-a discovery
which it required no great anatomical
knowledge to make, and one which had
been made and acted upon before. Re-
cognizing this recondite relation between
the ballot and Bacchus, Harmon hired n
room in the restaurant establishment of
]. Bickerstaff. In this apartment Har-
mon " took a seat and received visitors"
to whom he offered cigars without re-
striction and wine at discretion, or in
discretion, as the case might be. 1t was
during the trial of suit, brought by
the proprietor of this refectory against
Harmon for the expenses of the canvass,
that the candidate gave his testimony. 1t
turns out that his running for Congress
was what slangy men call, we believe, a
put mp Job. He said that he was brought
out as candidate by Messrs. Petit,
Kirwin, and Bickerstaff. 1t was agreed
that he should have q suite of rooms
| A., I Il. - 90
and say as little as possible" There was
another man named Piper running for
the same Office, and the object of start
ing Harmon was to make Piper pay
roundly to get him out of the way. So
the headquarters were established, the
corks were drawn, and a fountain of free
whiskey established cigars were dis
pensed without cost to all who loved the
weed, and the electoral revelries COM
menced. "When any men of intelli-
gence called" testified Harmon, 81
looked wise, and said as little as posi-
ble." Mostly, however, according to
Harmons evidence, no one called except
bloats and loafers, who congratulated
him on looming out" drank all the
whiskey they could get, and vowed tc
sustain their generous host through thick
and thin. Harmon acknowledged that
he was drunk most of the time and
said that when he got sober he determi
ned to back out, for he couldn't stan6
it any longer" The conspirators agains
the pocket of Piper besought their lay
figure of candidate to "hold on foi
Just five days more" He resolutely re
fused. "Not another day." he declared
and they took him out of the field. Th
whole thing, so far as it was desigl
upon Piper's pocket, was lamentabl
failure, or appears to have been SC
Possibly matters might have gone NOR
satisfactorily if the straw candidate ha'
not got very drank to begin with, an
+, kept himself in an elevated state of Bac
chus to the end. He does not seem t
, have made much out of the speculation
He had little money of his own whe
he went into it, and this he spent freely
. when it was gone he proceeded on cred
, it, and consequently found himself a de
fendant in court while Petit, Kirwil
! and Bickerstatf meanly went back o
+, him, and refused to come down sing
q cent.