The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-01-12

When Eve brought wo to al mankind,
And when she wood with love 50 kind,
He then pronounced her woo-nan-
SSsia SSt now S With n folly, dress and pride.
1bs people call them whin-msn,
A cool proceeding-An ice man elop.
ing with nice girl. q. No q
When wife reigns it seems natural
that she should storm, too. She does
so sometimes.
A Desreit wedding was postponed by
an affidavit handed in by discarded
lover.
The best hand to accompany lady
yocahst-A husband.
What is the worst seat man can sit
| on. Self-conceit.
"A young Indianian proposed to siS
young ladies Just for fun, and was con-
siderably annoyed by being accepted
by all Of them.
1t is said that the light Of mate
sometimes fails to keep. the wolf from
the door. ..... .......
A candid old bachelor says, "After
all, o woman's heart is the sweetest
thing in the world-it's perfect hon.
eycomb-full of Sells"
A young lady being asked by a riel,
old bachelor, If not yourself, who
would You rather be, blushed as sho
sweetly replied, Yours, truly.
1t is said that one green tarletan
dress contains arsenic enough to Kill =
man, and yet men don't seem afraid To
go near green tarletan dresses.
At q recent wedding in New York,
the bride was followed to the altar by-
twelve little girls, members of her class
In the Sabbath-school.
A fellow who has tried it, saws that
1t takes just three years to make an
Iowa widow believe that she ought to
get married again.
An affectionate wife, whose husband
is but too often inebriated. says he is
like the money market the more
tight ne gets the dearer he becomes.
A young lady requested to be re-
Leased from her marriage engagement
on the ground that when contracted
she believed her lover to be q duck.
but has since found him to be goose.
An impetuous and romantic lover
said to his sweetheart-I am the oak
and you are the vine. I draw me to
you with cords Of love. Not so, re-
Piled the blushing fair one. II L am
the vine, I prefer the ordinary twine.
A French authoress sayaA kiss
MI
else In the world. To this an editor
responds-That writer evidently never
experienced the childish rapture
OF descending the stairs by sliding
down the banisters.
Marriage has come to be looked upon
In Indiana, says paper published in
that State, as such a temporary ar
that justices fees for the
have beenreduced to twenty
FIVE cents for steady customers.
This is the way Troy reporter con-
graduates friend on his marriage
One more unfortunate,
Weary Of life,
Rashly unfortunate,
Taken wife.
An Indianess, discovering that her
ceremony had been illegally
performed, fourteen years ago, has
suit against her husband
for services rendered him as an en-
ploye during that period.
The Mobile Register is getting upa
new edition of the Book OF Proverbs.
Here is a sample-Blessed is the wo-
man who compounded q pudding in
eh 20 - H.
than she who maketh tart reply.
A grass widow of Lafayette prom
ised to marry lover if he would get
her divorce from her lawful and aw-
ful husband. He did so, after much
feeling and hard swearing, but he swore
Ill the harder when, to his astonish-
ment and disgust, his fair enslaver
welded another man.
A cleanly shaved gentleman inquired
Of fair demoiselle, the other day,
whether or no she admired mustaches.
Oh, replied the charmer, with an arch
ook, / invariably set my face against
hem. Very shortly afterward his up
per lip betrayed symptoms of careful
cultivation.
A lady says the first time she was
1is sed she felt Ike a Tub of butter
in honey, cologne, nutmegs
md cranberries. She felt as if some
hing was running through her nerves
IN feet of diamonds, escorted by sew
sral little Cupids in chariots drawn by
angels, shaded with honeysuckles, and
he whole spread with melted rainbowr.
Mister, how do you sell sugar to-
lay?
Only twenty cents pound, sir.
Can't give it. I'll drink my coffee
without sugar, and kiss my wifo for
Good dsy, sir.
Good day. When yon get tired of
.hnt kind Of svoetenins, please call
around again.
/ Will
He ca'is,' raYt 6l=.