The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1872-08-29

Mr. Greeley visited Fire Island, New York
on Friday to bathe in the surf. The Com
mercial Advertiser has an imaginary descrip
tion of his efforts in The water go humorous
that we copy 1t. 1t is as good as if 1t were
true; e. 1on., ,nr,,.t %
ssWhy, he can swim like duck" SAID an
enthusiastic Greeleyite as he stood upon me
beach to-day aud watched the Vegetaole
candidate for the Presidency buffet the pliloWs
of the Atlantic like shirted dolphin. But
the next moment mighty 0rea6er seized
the hold swimmer and stood him upon his
mead. his heels beating the thin air In q des'
perate struggle to alter his abnormal attitude;
/ suppose there were two or three hundred
guests, farmer folks, &C., on the shore at the
lime. The news that Horace was going out 10
wrestle with Neptune resulted In the forming
of q large procession. which marched IN gooo
order to the scene of hoslilittes, and took up
such favorable positions as the nature OF the
ground would permit. AS the veteran mer-
man emerged from the bath house the crowd
yelled approvingly, and the boys SHE'D clam
shells at him in an encouraging way.
His Apollo-lke form never appeared to bet
tar advantage, and were 1t not for the slight
tendency of his right hip to play see-saW with
his left (producing peculiar shamoilng gaS,
he might be said to have advanced "grace1ut.
lyn to the water line. Half q dozen young
Isdy bathers had placed themselves under his
protection for plunge In. the br1ne.
"Oh, dear Mr. Greeley, know can never
stand t,n said beautiful blonde as o big
wave burst. enveloping her little ieet III the
creamy foam.
I'll protect yoH." And SO he did, 10 the great
nneaslness OF her lover, who beheld the dex-
terons veteran (mistaklng her neck for her
Waist) encircle her with his arm and drag her
after him as though he meant 10 drown her.
In four feet of water they suddenly dlsap-
peared from view, and reappeared aiter nVe
seconds, the young lady 10 terrible state OF
fright. The kind old man endeaVored 10
pacify her.
stSteady, my dear, he said endeavoring to
hide his own nervousness, "theres no nse oil
getting fighty. It lS natural ior the human
family to SWIM"
ssO6, Mr.. Greeley, how can you say so ?" ex-
claimed the wretched maiden, wildly squirting
the Pa1d and brine from the month.
srYou aln't accustomed TO 1t my child; calmly
endure 1t little longer and you'll like 1t.
mo. never, never. want to be unnatural.
/ don't want to belong to the human family,
Mr. Greeley, and here another huge DreaK-
or cut short her frenzy. and lifting both oatn-
ara hurled the Sage headlong over his falr
charge. A yolley Of cheers arose from the
beac6 as he recovered himself, quickly seized
her by the back OF her neck and one leg, ana
held her aloft, dripping and struggling with
the fne energy that u female can exert under
the pressure of mingled rage, mortlfcatlon
and fright. ~ all
',she still lives" family mnrmnred a an 'aIl oia
Iadv near me. who, when child, had been
da1dled on John Quincy Adams's knee.
stCome, that's played out, old man; ietch ner
asbore. y calculated an angry countryman, sug-
gestively gathering handful OF SAND; II
thought you knew better than 10 De yanklns
poor girl round In that way"
Rnt nv this time the horror-strlcken and In
censed lover had waded in, boots and all, and
rescued h.s sweetheart from the perlllous
clutches of the chivalrlc norman, VINO $1,000
gazing stupidity after them with his BACK 10
the sea, until the waters, collecting thelr
strength, struck him aoeam & WIN "a nH n,sn,S my
force. and landed him sprawllng lar upon tne
beach. That ended the sweet old philanthro-
pist's attempt to prove what II know about
natation."