The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-05
Locked Out.

It's all very well to laugh at, now it's
all over, but if you wish to know what a
pleasant effect the wrong side the door
has, at half-past two in the morning,
lose your key and try it.
arrived at my apartments Il live ten
or twelve miles out of town. at half-past
two last Thursday morning, and, looking
up smilingly at my windows, I felt for
my key.
Those who carry latch-keys can read
lily realize my sensations when 1 found
had left it in town. To wake the in
mates was a matter of disturbing the
whole neighborhood L therefore deter
mined latter waiting thirty minutes for
a policeman to effect an entrance by the
staircase window.
must mention that my house is one
of a short row, in which there live a
butcher, baker, and chemist-each of
whom keeps dog or dogs, more or less
vicious, according to the amiableness of
its owner.
Having determined to attempt the
great window feat, went round to the
back of the house and looked over the
paling. Scarcely had 1 raised my head,
than Boo-woo-woo~ went dog with
whom had some slight acquai..tance.
addressed it soothingly by its Christian
name, "Gip."
The sound Of my voice set the remain
der of the dogs off, and in less than a
minute there was arrow only equalled by
pack in full cry.
This naturally woke some of the nobler
animals; and one gentle female with a
a shrieky voice put her head out of the
window and asked, in hysterioal tene,
who was there?
The ever-ready answer, "Me," burst
forth, regardless of grammar.
"Where are the police?" continued
the screech.
"Precisely what I have been asking
myself for the last thirty minutes" an
swered /.
At this juncture attempted laugh,
and nearly overbalanced myself, and, in
regaining my position, / kicked the
palings, on which was seated, so vigor-
ously, that off weni the dogs louder than
before, and several more windows went
up.
At the chemist S appeared something
that looked like Robinson Crusoe, ABLY
supported by La Sonnam bula in a
nightcap.
whats the matter ?" sensibly asked
third window
Matter Z" shrieked all the windows
together; but their explanation was lost
in the general howl of dogs.
I" You shall hear of this in the morn
ing," said one irrepressible female.
" 1t strikes me 1 am hearing of it
very much of tin the morning; you
mean later in the day. Call to lunch"
said L, "and let's have it out.
The windows went down with a bang,
and l went off the palings with another,
falling within a yard of beautiful bull
mastltf, who showed me the perfect order
in which he kept his teeth after very
satisfactory inspection thereof L de-
scribed circle round him, and reached
the wash-house. One foot on the win
dow-sl and one hand on the leaden
spout, L prepared for the great feat, but
at that instant lowing to the dogs vio-
lent effort to strangle itself, the staple
holding the chain gave way, and, with
out word Of apology, he seized me by
that portion of my clothes unknown to
angels. 1 held on to the spout, the dog
held on to me. One derisive laugh rang
through the air.
A lapse Of several seconds, each of
which seemed an hour.
Every moment I expected would be
my last, when, within reach, I saw a
m-handle; to seize it, and deal my
self fearful blow, was the work of an
instant. Horror the spout is giving
way. A second fearful blow proved more
fortunate-I broke the wash house win
dow; one more, and 1 landed the stick
on his nose, in way that sounded like
cracking an egg-shell.
A dreadful howl followed he let 60.
Windows again up-general bowling,
shouting, and rally all round. During
the @eelee L disappeared in at the window,
and peeped round the blind; row grad
ually subsidized.
An interval of five minutes. Every
thing quiet.
An interval of five more minutes. A
policeman composed, unruffied, dig
nitied.