Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-05-03
COUNTING TWENTY-FIVE.
How the Wife Of Utica Editor Curb
cd His Ungov ernabls Temper. .

l found the cherished face of
Maria Ann wreathcd in smiles, the
other evening when l returned from
my arduous daily toll. Il am en-
gagged as standing man at saloon.
SO many candidates are treating,
that the saloon keeper hires six Of
us to be treated. We all drink with
every candidate who comes in, and
it makes business pretty brisk.)
Said my chosen one, Joshua, l
am afraid you do not always find
me an angel in disposition"
Said I, "That's so-hic-my dear:
l don't seldom find you 'nangel in
in anything
"And," She added, "you arc not
always the most pleasant man i'll
the world"
did not feel called on to reply.
"Now," said she, "read that"
She had cut an item from the
columns Of some paper, wherein
some demcnted writer told about
some impossible woman who being
troubled with q bad temper, counted
twenty-five every time she got pro-
vokcd, and thus became sweet,
amiable and dearly loved ornament
of the house of her delighted hus-
band. l read the article as we'll as
the condition of my head would
allow, and remarked, "Bosh."
Maria Ann paid no attention to
me, but unfolded her plan. She
said that every time got mad l
should count twenty-five, and every
time she got mad she would count
twenty-five.
l asked her who she thought
would pay our rent while we sat
and counted twenty-five over and
over all day long.
Then she said l was always rails
ing objections to her plans for
mutual improvement, and | said !
was not, and she said was enough
to try a saint, and | said she was
too, and she came for me, and l
told her to count twenty-five; but
she forgot all about that and just
tailed one on my left eye.
Then was going to demonstrate
with the poker, and she told me to
count twenty five, and l said would
not; but I did before she had pulled
more than half my hair out. Then
she made me count twenty-five over
and over, until was out of breath,
and felt real pleasant and good
naturcd. So we went to supper.
Now, the cat was curled up in my
chair, but / did not see it until /
sat down; and l did not see it then
but l was pretty sure it was there;
in fact, I knew it was there as well
as l wanted to and more too. Ifclt
inclined to raise up suddenly, but,
as l gathered to spring, she bran
dishcd the tea pot and murmured:
"Joshua, your temper is rising;
count twenty-five, or I'll break your
hcad;" and that cat was drawing a
map of the Tenth Ward with her
claws around behind me, with the
streets and boundaries marked in my
blood. l rosesto explain, and said,
"My dear, -" but she caromcd
on my head with wcll-shot tea
cup, and sprinkled my face with a
quart Of hot tea, and l sat down and
counted twenty-five; but it killed
the cat. The old fellow died hard,
though. / could feel him settle as
his nine lives went out one by one.
A few days practice Of this rule,
under the loving instructions Of
Mary Ann, has enabled me to con.
qucr my temper completely. No
body can get me mad now. am
in q state Of perpetual calm, and ]
want to see the man that wrote the
story. want to At him for the
bands of an undertaken, and make q
demand for mourning goods among
his friends. Then ! can die happy,
counting IN enty-dve. ...s,, y,