Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1872-11-30
M0RTUARY MADRIGALS
The New Department in THE Morning
Glory"
BY MAX ADELER,


tFrom the Philadelphla Sunday Dispatch ]
j. Alfred Brimmer, Esq, editor and
proprietor OF The Morning GLORY, having
observed the disposition of persons who
have been bereaved of their relatives TO
give expression to their feelings in pOetl-
cal form, reflected that IL might perhaps
be Il good thing TO introduce to his pai er
adepartment of obituary poetry. He con-
Hidered whether If, when an individual in
serted fifty cents worth of death notice,
the establishment should contribute graiu.
itously half-a-dollar's worth of mortality
stanzas, his paper would not at once be-
come the most popular vehicle for the con-
veyance of that peculiar form of melan-
choly intelligence TO the public. And Mr..
Brimmer rightly estimated that, as most
newspaper readers seem to take a deeper
interest in such sepulcharal news than 10.
formation of any other kind, the Journal
containing the largest supply would have
the greatest number of subscribers.
So Mr.. BrimmDr determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate. GU
gage an obituary poet for shOit time,
with the purpose to give him permanent
employment If the plan seemed 10 take
with the public. Accordingly he sent for
Mr.. Remington OFT, a constructor of
verses, who had frequently contributed to
the columns of 1heAornt,g Glory poems Of
what would have been considered by
fastidious student of English literature au
appalling and revolutionary character
Mr.. Brimmer soon effected an arrange
ment with the bard, by which IL was agreed
thas Nr. OFT should take Il position In the
oiDee for short time, and whenever a
ueath-notice arrived he should Immediately
endeavor to grind out come verses ex-
pressiye of the situation.
"YOu understand, Mr.. Off," explained
Briinmer, "when the death of an individu-
al is anuouuced.s want you, as II were, to
rthe afflicted family with the resources
Of your noble ant. ! wish YOU to throw
youself, YOU may say, into their situation
and 10 give them verse or two about the
corpse which will seem 10 be the expression
of the emotion of the hearts OF the living"
"TO tighten the gloom ina certain sense,
suppose 70 said Mr.. Ou.
"Preciscly Tighten the gloom. Donot
mourn over the departed but rather take
a Joyous view of death, which, after all,
Mr.. OFT, Is, as it were, but the entrance to
a DrtteT life. Therefore, l would advise
you to touch the htartetrngs of the utllitt-
ed with a tender band, and endeavor, f'r
instance, TO divert their minds from con-
temptation of the horrors of the tomb"
'Refrain from dependency, l suppose,
and lift their thoughts to-"
"Just 50 And ut the same time COM
biue clevating sentiment with such practi-
cal Information as you can obtain from the
Advertisement. Throw glamour of poesy
fr instance, over the commonplace details
otthe every day life of the deceased. PrO-
pie are fond of minute de scriptions. Some
facts useful for this purpose may be OBJ
talned from the man who brings the no.
tice to the Office others you may readily
supply from your Imagination"
"I'll throw off s'anzas," said Mr.. OF,
''in such manner that people will want
their friends TO die for the sake Of the
poetry"
"But above all,n continued the editor,
s'take bright view OF the matter alway s.
Make the sunshine of smiles, as ii were,
burst through the tempest of tears and If
we don't make Tie Morning Glory hum
around among the moHrners OF this town,
my name is not Brimmer."
u was right. 1t did hum.
The next day Remington OFT went on
duty. and Brimmer ran down to the sea-
shore for a breath of fresh air. All
through the day death-nOtices came vour-
ing IN, and when one would reach OFT, he
would seize il and study It up to ascertain
the particulars. Then he would rush up
stairs, lock himself In his Dom, take down
his rhyming dictionary, run his fingers
through his hair, and hack away for half
an hour at piece of paper until he con-
sidered that he had that poetry in a shape
which would make the stricken family
feel proud Of the cerrse. When his days
work was done, OFT went home with con
vicliOn that The 4uorting Glory had finally
robted Death of its tcrrOTs, aid made life
comparative v valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded calm
" 10 the office for the purpose Of emhalm-
Ing in sympathetic verse the memories OF
other de parted ones. As he ire near TO
the establishment he observed crowd Of
five or six thousand people in front of II,
struggling to get INTO the door. Climbil G
tr. e, he overlooked the crowd, and could
sec within the office the clerks selling pa
pers as fast as they could handle them,
while the mob pushed aud jammed aud
yelled In frantic efforts TO obtain copies
the presses In the cellar meanwhile clang-
ing away like mad. Upon tn, curbstone
in front of him there was line of men
stretching down the street for four spares,
each man engaged in reading The Morning
GLORY with an eamestness that Mr.. Or,
had never before seen displayed by The
patrons of that sheet. The lard concluded
either that his poetry had touched sym
pathetic chord IN the popular heart or that
an Appalling disaster had occurred in some
quaiter of the globe.
lie went around to the back of the Office
al ascended to th1 editorial rooms. A;
he approached the sanctum, loud voices
We C heard within. Mr.. OFT determined L
aset rtAin the cause before entering. lie
obtained a chair, and, placing IL by th'
SIDE, door. he mounted and peeped owe
the door through the transom. There sa
}. Alfred Brimmsr holding Tho Morning
Glory In both hands, while the firing
which grew In semi-circle around the edgl
Of his bald head stood straight out, un Il
he seemed to resemble a gigantic gun
swab. Two or three persons stood II
front Of him In threatening attitudes. o,
heard one of them say;
My name Is MeGlue, sir!-Williau
McGlue / am brother of the late Alex
an 'or McGlue. picked up your pape
this morning, and perceived in il an out
rag Gus insult to my deceased relstive
aud have come around to demand sir
WHAT Do YOU MEAN by the following IN
famous language
The death-angel smote Alexander McGlus
And gave him prOtracted repose;
ne were a checked shirt and Number Min
=, Aud he had a pink wart on his nose
no doubt he is happier dwelling in space
,pver there on the evergreen shore,
Ills friends are informed that his funera
takes place
Precisely at quarter-past four.
This is simply diabohcall My lat
m ther had no wart on his nose, sir. II
uhd upon his nose neither pink wart nc
treen wart, nor a cream colored war
nor waTt of any other co.or. It is
slahder It is gratuitous insult to m
hinlly, and l distintly want you to sa
"'Ht you mean by such conduct 20
Really, s'r' enid Brimmer, sit is mi
AAe. This Is the horrible work of an il
Sehdlary miscpant whom trusted as
l"tner. lie shall be punished by my ow