The Hickman courier., 1872-10-05
CONNUBIALITIES.

IN VIRGINIA old maids are called
d" belated sisters"
A ONE hundred dollar boquet will
win a feeting smile from Long
Branch belle.
ONE or those thing no fellow can
find out''-A good husband after IL
!. ...4spaEl,ss 4. sHu WIDOW 81 has been mar,
ried four times, and always TO
bank president. Faro ?
THE complete census returns make
out 428, ,669 moremales than females
in the country.
The young ladies of the period
must be given to dreamy specula-
tions, they build such castles in the
(h)air.-Jlldy.
SPINKs told his wife that she could
have all the Dolly Warden things she
wanted, or new piano. He says
now that the piano would have been
cheaper
IMITATION jewelry is made so per-
fectly nowadays that fashionable
ladies can get themselves up quite
georgeously at very slight expense.
A DETROIT paper says that Mr..
George Barrell committed suicide
because disappointed in a love affair.
He couldn't bear the thought of re-
naming single Barrell.
TosmKINs, who is terribly hen
pecked, says that the greatest miss
take he ever made in his life was on
his wedding-day. His wife denies it
and says it was she that was miss
led.
Bows are worn in profusion on
the hair, the front of dresses, the
sleeves, Shoulders, and in all odd and
unmanageable places, fastening down
fichus, scarfs, collars, sashes, belts,
etc.
SPINKs is not going to do any more
in conundrums. He asked his wife
Why he was like donkey, and she
said because he was born SO, and he
says the answer IS quite different
from that.
A SARATOGA writer says it would
worry hired man to stow away the
corned beef and pork and beans
that the young ladies call for be-
tween the regular meals of water,
ices and sponge cake.
A cYNIc suggests that the marry
ing a deceased wife's sister implies
either that the husband has treated
his first wife very kindly or cruelty.
If kindly, the sister wishes to ex-
perience the same treatment, If
cruelty, to avenge it.
A YOUTHFUL lover who sang and
played before his young lady's house
for two mortal hours, was electrified
after a short pause, by cordial
"thank you," gracefully pronounced
by the "other feller," who appeared
at the window.-Danbury Ne,os.
The flirting at the watering places
this season has all been done by
married people. The matrimonial
crop is email but the balance will
be made up in divorces.
Two sisters have eloped from Ber-
iii, luSSld5 WIN - JOuiS Aoh WhOui
they are both in love. with and whom
they both intend to marry when they
reach Salt Lake. which is their desti-
nation.
A RHODE Island reporter gives this
as a positive fact: "A young lady
on returning from a walk with hel
lover the other evening raped him
on the face and kissed the door.
An IDAHO woman was ordered b,
physician to take three ounces o
y brandy a day, and knowing tina
sixteen drachms make and ounce
has patiently been taking forty-eigh
drinks day ever since.
THE. BosroN Citorier says : "A
thrifty citizen effected insurance OF
the life of his wife to the amount o
$4,000 the other day, took box o
the little red Maryland plums, an,
enjoyed a whole evening in watching
his wife eat them. His enterpris
had its reward. Deducting $29S 10
funeral expenses. he is now 1870
richer than he was week ago."