New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-07-21
agetj Orleans 8epnbIaait.
OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE UNITED STATES
OFFICIAL JOURNAL or New ORLEANS
Communicated
TALES vs.. TAILS,

A mercurial contemporary Of political
turn. etc., finds time to enter a field Of
questionable science, and seriously offers
TO the readers of cheap publication what
il is pleased.to call "a prize essay for the
times" Forgetting, for the nonce, its
special occupation, patron Of merchants and
thieves, our modern Mercury becomes elO-
ouent and weaves rather complex "tale
about tailsp "the learned Mr.. Darwin,
speculative philosophy" the Liberal
partv.n etc. Had our bold Mercury con.
fined his literary effort to the Darwinian
science, the REPUBLICAN would have had
no disposition to interfere. In that case
we should have left him and his essay to
reap whatever reward an intelligent public
might render. But having branched out
upon subject he knows nothing about-a
matter Of fact subject that fiction can
neither adorn nor illustrate, we feel that ii
is duty due from a truthful press to the
public to expose this weak invention OF
the enemy"
We shall not attempt to fellow the author
of a tale "About Tails" through all the
deep meanderings Of his lucid story, but
will be content to speak only of the, ! 1 az
and tail of this wonderful Fra. oit aus ~ NE
shall do this with p '~-S- -''-'' -
sUII ~. t M a6mmences by asserting that a
80 3 d good thing in its place; and con-
fined to its proper functions For nearly
every animal, except man, continues this
acute essayist, it is found to serve as a very
useful appendage
After commencing his tale with these self
evident truths, the author gravely proceeds
10 argue their reality. He says the reason
why a tail does not perform such a service
for man is very. simple. He has not got
any tail-at least none in a developed and
available form.
We rather like this qualification Of the
authors reason why a tail does not perform
apparently the same service for man that
il does for other animals-for its convincing
proof, as in the case of our astonishing
author-that it is not necessary to have q
tail in a developed and available form to
show it,
Leaving that part of the story which en-
braces speculative philosophy il connection
with the growth of the tail, and the differ
ent and mighty forms that tails have been
been made to assume in all the relations Of
life, we come right square to its object, not,
however without entering a solemn pro-
test against the immoral tendencies Of the
essay.
Tie object Of the story is political. A
grave subject with unbecOming levity. 1t
has attempted to be funny at the expense,
the Generalization Of the public In doing
this it panders to the licentiOus spirit of
the times, and attempts TO ridicule the eff
forts Of the people in favor Of reform, 1t |
says:
1.-THE vague aspirations of the Dolly Var !
den girl of the period for reversing the de-
caudalizing process are followed by some
ominOus symptoms in a small and supeTtu-
GUS political denomination superfetation,
so to speak, of a sickly and disiointed time
selfnamed the Liberal party"
Temporarily abandoning the field of
fiction and ridiculous nonsense, the Plea
yttile throws off the mask and charges the
Liberal party with being but a second con
Ception Of a sickly and disjointed time; the
after birth, we suppose It means, to the |
real birth of the Democratic party, that
still, as it contends, has being. And here
il would become serious and funny by turns.
1t asserts, with great seriousness, that for
all practical purposes the-Liberal party can
hope to be nothing save as an appendage to
some, other party. 1t means, of course, the !
Democratic party. II then attempts TO be. |
funny, and compares the great and sponta- |
neOus movement Of the people TO the 'am- |
bilious tail that insisted on wagging the
dog"
To fully feel the force of this applica ton
Il must be remembered that, accordin z to
the logic Of the PjcGyltHe, the DemOcra tic
party is still the big dog Of the land, and
the Liberal party is only his tail. But
there is about as much truth in its logic as
n its fiction; and its story "A6out Tales is
a very weak invention.
There is about as much life in the Ran
lolph- Reform party as in the Lasere-DemO-
ratio party, and the two together can not
vag a decent tail After the meeting of
he Liberal convention in August they will
Do tail-end Of nothing whitfield down.