Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-10-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| QUAKERS are never sworn IrlenQS, lney
won't swear. ... .-.-
THE greatest peer that England ever
produced-Shakespeare.
FREEPoRT, l.. l., send about ten tons of
oysters day to New York.
LOVE is described as very much like q
Scotch plaid-all stuff and much crossed.
A NEW YORK taxidernist suspends a
stuffed elephant over his door as sign.
He THAT calls man ungrateful, sums
UP all the evil that man can be guilty
THE proof-reader at J. r. Osgood &
Co.. s is a great traveller; he goes over
the Atlantic, monthly.
AN inquirer is informed that we know
of no female dates, although mandates are
| plenty. ..--- -.
OREGON wives claim divorces on the
ground that their husbands will not wash
the dishes. % i.-=.
THE fall styles of millinery approach.
The very latest bonnet is just the size of
the figure 6, but not quite so graceful in
shape.
OCTOBER is called, by one of the poets,
Month of the iris hues and balmy air,
when summer lends,its sun with softened
glare"
Four dollars, gold ring and no shoes
were the articles with which a young
Pittsburgher furnished himself for an
elopement the other day.
In what way does a lady treat man
like telescope? When she draws him
out, looks him through, and then shuts
him up. ..a
HENRY BLOCK was married few days
ago to Amanda Board by the Rev. Mr..
Wood. Wasn't that one of the wooden
weddings we often read of?
A STREET temperance lecturer in
Albany, n. Y, attracts attention to him.
self by dressing in white gown reaching
to his feet, with blue and red sashes about
his shoulders.
A MAN lately made wager that he had
seen horse going at his greatest speed
and dog sitting on his tail, and, strange
as it may seem, he won-but the dog sat
Oh his own tail. t...
THE newspapers tell of large amount
of 'lasses and water being lately seen
somewhere on the coast-but it's funny
way to inform people that seventy-five
ladies were seen bathing at one time.
SARATOGA trunks are so strongly made
nowadays that it takes two "baggage-
smashers" to annihilate one of them. One
can do it, but it is considered very hard
work, and they assist each other in ac-
complishing the task.
A STUDENT who has been afflicted with
sermon one hour and half long, grum-
blingly says that those Professors study
so much about eternity that they have no
conception of time.
A PHILOSOPHER being asked of whom
he had acquired so much knowledge, re-
piled, "Ot the blind, who do not lift their
feet until they have first sounded, with
their stick, the ground on which they are
going to tread" '.-f'r
MARRYING for buty iz a poor specula-
shun, for emmy man who sees yure wife
haz got just about az much stock in her
az you have.-JOsh Billings.
ANY one who reads the English court
records will be struck with the fact that q
very large proportion OF the cases tried
before them are for wife-beating.
A FELLOW who has actually tried it
says that, although there are three scru-
pies in a drachm, the more drains you
take the less scruples you will have.
''Do YOU call that veal outlet, waiter?
Why, it is an insult to every true calf in
the country" Waiter-"I didn't mean
to insult you, sir"
"HoME is the place for boys" said
Spinks, to his eldest pride and joy.
eyes," said the youngster, dutifully; 81
like to stay at home all the time, but ma
sends me to school,"
In Danbury, Conn.,, the good boys who
drop out of chestnut trees invariably
strike ON their heads, while the bad boys
as invariably fall ON their feet. The Neacs
thinks that the Legislature ought to look
into this.
EVIDENCE OF EXPERIENCE.-Ay young
man adyertises in country paper for a
place as salesman, and says he has had
a greal deal of experience, having been
discharged from seven different situations
within the year.
A ToRMENTED lover saws: sometimes
/ can hear the June bugs of dependency
buzzing in my ears, and I feel the cold
lizard of despair crawling down my back.
Uncouth fears, like thousand minnows,
nibble at my spirits, and my soul is
pierced with doubts like an old cheese is
bored with shippers.
TOMMY was found in a most perilous
situation on the house-top, and having
been secured alive and whole by ginger
bread stratagem and sugar-plum persua-
sions, he confessed that he was tempted
out there with his pencil to cypher little,
"the states looked so bully"
THE two ladies who have recently been
admitted to the bar of Utah are not Nor
mons. They advocate their Willingness
to advocate the cause of all Mormon
women who wish to escape from the
vows that have made them the fractional
owner of man. .--'.--i ..-..
MINERS engaged in working valuable
claim in Clear Greek County, Col, situ-
ated on the north side of Leavenworth
Mountain, at an elevation of 12,S00 feet,
found their progress impeded by frost;
even at the great depth of $50 feet the
earth and rocks being frozen in a solid
mass together. ..t. .. ...i e..y ...
A CONNECTICUT man bought ticket to
the Rhode Island State Fair, but by mis-
take went into furniture warehouse and
wandered around for time. He said he
didn't think it amounted to much for a
State Fair, but then he took into account
what State it was in.
AT recent auction sale of books in
| London, q copy of Gowen's "Confessio
Amantis," ''emprynted at Westmestric by
me, William Caxton, and fypysshed the
lid day of Septembre, the first yere of the
| regne of Kyng Rhichard the Thyrd" "a.
| D., 1888, J was sold for So, ,35e-the same
book was once before sold at auction Tin
1745) for $3.50. A gentleman in Boston
claims to have "Latin Chronology
printed in 1477-ttree hundred and nincty
.fre gears GgOi
A CALIFORNIAN, whose poultry fold
had suffered from repeated incursions OF
the heather Chinee, shut up a William
goat in his chicken house. Late at night
fearful yells, mixed up with frantic cries
i and awful curses in bad English, were
heard, and upon going to the scene, {
sprawling Mongolian was found "with {
head on him." while William, with erect
ed bristles, stood over him, occasionally
putting in a zone, two" on his mob.
THE ATtizan says We hazard the as
sertion that no class of equal averag,
means live so well as American farmers
One of these possessing farm and build
ing worth say ten thousand dollars, will
gather about him and enjoy more rea
comfort than could be obtained from tn,
income of a hundred thousand dollar
in New York. He may live in a NOR