The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-08-27

mead, ana KEEP everything straight as he
could till the sermon was most through,
when he rally got tuckered out. and hc
took chair and sot down in the door
right opposite the minister and fairly got
asleep himself just as the minister got up
to make the last prayer.
Wal Parson Morrcl had a way O. pray
ing with his eyes open. Folks said it
want the best way, but it was Parson
Morrcl's way anyhow, and 50 as he was
prayiu', he couldn't help seein' that Dca-
con Titkins was a noddiu' and bobbin'
out toward the place where old Dick was
feedin' with the sheep, front o. the meet
in house door.
Lem and me was sittin' whcro we
could look out aud we Jest sees old Dick
stop ieedin' and look at the deacon. The
deacon had little round head, as smooth
as an apple, with a nice powdered wig on
it. and he sot there maxim bobs and bows
and Dick begun to think it was suthin'
sort of pussoDal. Lem and me was sittin'
jest where we could look out and see the
hull picter, and Lem was fit to split.
Good, now, says he, that crtter'll pay
the deacon off lively, pretty soon.
The deacon bobbed his head a spell,
and old Dick he shook his horns and
stamped at him sort o. threatenin. Fin
ally the deacon he give great bow and
brought his head right down at him, and
old Dick he sot out full tilt and come
down on him ker chunck, and knocked
him head over heels into the broad aisle,
and his wig flew one way and he t'other,
and Dick made lunge at it as it flew,
and carried it off on his horns.
Wal, you may believe that broke up
the mectin' for one while, for Parson Nor
rel laughed out, and all the gals and boys
they stomped and roared, and the old
deacon he got up and begun rubbing his
shins-'cause he didn't see the joke ont.
You don't ought ter laugh, says he it's
no laughing manner--it's a solemn thing
says he, | might have been sent into
tarnity by that darned crittur, says he.
Then they all roared and haw-hawed the
more to see the deacon dancin' round with
his little shiny head so smooth a fly would
trip up ont. | believe my soul, you'd
laugh to see mo in my grave, says he.
WAL the truth ont was, just one Of
them Dustin up times that nature has,
when there amt nothn' for it but to give
in, twas jest like the ice breakin' up in
the Charles river-it all comes at once
and no whoa tot. Sunday or no Sunday,
sin or no sin, the most on 'em laughed
till they cried, and couldn't help it.
But the deacon he went home feelin'
pretty sore about it. Lem Sudoc he
picked up his wig and handed it to him.
Says he, old Dick was playing tithing.
man want he deacon? Teach you to
make allowance for other folks that get
sleepy.
Then Mrs. Ttkins she went over to
Aunt Jcrusy Scran's and Aunt Polly
Hokum and they had pot of tea over
it, and greed it was awful of Parsor
Morrel to set such an example, and suth.
in had got to be done about it. Miss
Hokum said she alters knew that Parsor
Morrel hadn't no spiritooality, and now
1t had broken out into open sin, and led
all tho rest of 'em into it, and Mrs. Tit.
kins she said such man want fit tc
preach and Mrs. Hokum said she could
MT never hear him preach agin, and the
next Sunday the deacon and his wife
they hitched up and driv eight miles over
to Parson Lathrops and took Aunt Polly
on tho back seat.
Wal, the thing growed, till it seemed
as if there warn't nothin' else talked
about, cause Aunt Polly and Miss Tit
kins and Jerusha Scran they didn't dc
nothn' but talk about it, and that sol
everybody else talkin.
Finally it was greed they must hov' G
council to settle the hash. So all the
wimmcn they went to chopin mince anC
making up pumpkin pies and cranberry
tarts, and bilin' dougnuts, gettin' ready
for the ministers and delegates-'caust
councils always eats poweriul-and they
had quite stir like a gineral tranin'
The hosscs, they was hitched all up anC
down the stalls, stompin' and switchin
their tails, and all the wimmen was ;
talkin' and they he'd up everybody rount
for witnesses, and finally Parson Morre
he says: Brethren, says he,jest let me tel
you the story jest as it happened, and i
you don't every one of you laugh as hare
as | did, why then I'll give up.
The parson he was master hand a
settin' off story, and aiore he'd done hi
got them all in such roar they didn'
know where to leave off. Finally, the,
give sentence that there hadn't no temp
tation took him but such as is common t,
man but they advised him afterward al
lers to pray with his eyes shet, and tn
parson he confessed he orter "A done it,
So, boys, said Sam, who always drey
moral, ye see it Farms you must TAX
care what ye look at, eff ye want to kcel
from laughin in meetin.-Christia1
Union.
ANEcDoTE OF AN EMINENT New YoRI