Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-05-08
Pith and Point.

PitL and Point.
Follow love and it will flee; flee love
and it will follow thee.
JONES asks: "lf small girls are
waits, are large ones walters 2 " Ger
tainly," says sweet sixteen, cat least
the boys have habit of applying them
to their lips in sealing their VOWS
A WESTERN girl, speaking from ex-
perience, says "a kiss IN time saves
nine, for she AYERS in every case when
she has refused man chaste salute,
he has taken at least twenty.
A YOUNG lady was looking at pic
ture representing a pair of lovers IN
boat, with the arm of the lover gently
enfolding the waist of his dulcinea,
when she innocently remarked, Chow
natural !"
A LADY entered drug store and ask
ed for bottle of James Experience. ="
The clerk informed her that Jane
hadn't bottled her experience vet, but
they could furnish "Jayne's Expeeto-
rant.
THE following curious advertisement
appears in New York morning journal:
g Fifty dollars will be paid to any per
son who will in short time convert
shy, low-speaking man into an lmperti-
nent, loud talker.n
A LADY in Atlanta tied her husbands
hand and feet the other day, just for
fun, and then went through his pockets
for certain b1lletdoux, and found it.
His physicians tell him that his face
won't be badly scared, though he may
remain bald.
A THIcK-HAIRED squire, being worsted
by Sidney Smith in an argument, took
his revenge by exclaimiug eff I had
make him parson. +" "Very prob
ably" replied Sidney, "butI see your
father was of different mind"
A WESTERN lawyer who tried to COL
lect bill, wrote to his clients thus
'Gents-You will never get any money
from Bill Johnson. The undersigned
called upon him yesterday, and found
him with nary tile, his feet upon the
earth, and not clothes enough on him
to wad a gum
The scratched face of an elderly citi-
zen who has a young, handsome and
rather vain wife, is accounted for as fol-
lows: "My DEAR" she said, s'people
say I walk like an Andalusian. Do you
think so?' All but the 'An," was
the brutal reply, whereupon she went
for him.
PROVIDENCE has hit right for once
On the night when the revivalist Ham
mond closed his labors at Atchison,
Kan, the lightning struck building
where gathering of infdels was in
session, while 1896 feet away, in the
Methodist church were 1000 persons
singing the praises of Jesus" But
was hurt.
The latest autograph story is good
one. Somebody wrote and re-wrote to
Gen. Schenck, our Minister to Eng
land, asking for his autograph The
General is said to have responded as
follows: sfSir, I hasten to comply
with your request, and take this meth
Cd of informing you that you are an
nuisance! r. c. Schenck. :"
DURING Prof Rust's first visit to the
g Nursery" at Louisville, he proposed,
other things, to give the little
ones lecture on the "Five Senses"
which was done to the apparent satis-
faction of all, except one little fellow,
who remarked, on the Professors re-
firing: hain't seen nothing of them
yet .-.....sl slIaH
THERE is one part of the world where
all the bellies are diving bells. The
girls of tie Island of Hirnia, opposite
Rhodes, are not permitted to marry till
they have brought up from the sea a
certain quantity of sponges, which
abound on that part of the coast of Asia
Minor; or even before they can give
proof of their agility by taking them
from certain depth.
A MAGICIAN was displaying his
powers in a Texan town, a few days ago,
and introduced the familiar trick of
pretending to load a pistol and then al
lowing a spectator to fire at him. The
spectator, not to be outdone in sleight-
of-hand, managed to drop bullet in
the barrel and killed the luckless ex-
hibitor off hand. Practical joking has
been reduced to science in
in the Lone Star state. The grim
humor of this jest cannot be sur
passed.
A TRAVELLER in Paris, having occasion
for hair cutter, sent for one. At the
appointed time an elegantly-attired
person arrived, and the gentleman sat
down before his dressing case to pre-
walked round his client " once or
twice, and finally, taking his stand at
some distance, attentively scrutinized
the gentleman's face with the air of
connoisseur looking at picture.
" WE'LL" said the traveller, impatiently,
"when are you going to begin ~ " Par
don me, sir, was the polite reply, 'I
am not the operator, but the physiog
nomist !" "Adolphe /" he cried out,
and sleeved and aproned barber en-
tered from the hall, ga l0 Virgil -
With this direction as to the model after
which the gentleman's hair was to be
arranged, the artist retired.
A soRUB-HEADED boy, having been
brought before the court as witness, the
following amusing colloquy ensued:
I" Where do you live J" inquired the
Judge.
Live with my mother.
"Where does your mother live:"
"She lives with father"
Where does he live?"
"He lives with the old folks.
Where do they live 2" says the
Judge, getting very red, as an audible
litter goes round the courtroom.
&C They live at home.
Where in thunder is their home Z"
"That's where I'm from, said the
boy, sticking his tongue in the corner
of his cheek and slowly closing one eye
on the Judge.
"Here, Mr. Constable, take this wit
nass ont and tell him to travel he evi-
IDENTIFY does not know the nature of an
oath. w .tae gg1 eeatE