The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1872-01-28
THAT L1pE INSURANCE MAN.--His

around To my UnCe fourteen times III
one morning. to sea il he could not per
suade mo to take out life insurance
policy in his company. He used to way
lay me in tho streets. at church, in my
own house. and bore me about that
policy. II I went to the opera, Gum
would buy the seat next to me, and sit
there tho whole evening, talking about
sudden death and the advantage of the
ten year plan. If I got into street car,
Gum would come rushing in ut the next
corner, and sit by my side, and drag out
lot of mortality tables, and begin to
explain how could beat his company
out OF C fortune. If sat down to din
ner in restaurant, up would come
Gum, and, seizing the chair rext to me.
be would tell cheering anecdote about
Q man who insured in his company for
850. 900, only last week, and was buried
yesterday. II I attended tho fu neral of
a departed friend. and wept as they
threw the earth upon the coffin, could
hear a whisper, and, turning round,
there would be that indomitable Benja-
min p. Gum, bursting to say: Poor
Smith! knew him we'll. Insured for
$40. 900 in our company. Widow left in
ll6G Iu6 I0k6
your name-shall II" He followed me
everywhere. until I got SO sick of Gums
prosecutions, that 1 left town suddenly
c!udsd country village, hoping to get
returned, reaching home at l in the
morning. I hardly got into bed, before
there was ring ut the door-bell. I
looked out, and there was Gum, with
another person. He asked if Max
Adeler was at home. I said I was the
man. Mr.. Gum then observed that he
expected my return, and thought he
would call around about that insurance
policy. He said he had the doctor with
him, and if would come down, he
would take my name md have me exa.
mined Immediately. L was too indig-
nant to reply. shut the window with
slam. and went to bed again. After
breakfast, in the morning, opened the
door, aud there was Gum sitting on the
steps, with his doctor. waiting for me.
He had been there all night. As I came
out, they seized me and tried to undress
me there on the pavement, in order to
examine me-. I retreated. and locked
myself up in the garret, with orders to
admit nobody to the house. until came
down stairs. But Gum was not to be
bafHed. He rented the house next door,
and stationed himself in the garret ad-
joining mine. When lie got fixed, he
spent his time pounding on the partition.
and crying: ''Hallo, Adelerl Adeler, /
sayl How abont that policy? Want to
take her ont nowg" And then lie would
tell me some anecdotes about men who
were cut off Immediately after paying the
first premium. But paid no attention
] to him, and made no noise. Then he
| was silent for awhile. Suddenly, one
morning, the trap-door Of my garrett was
wrenched off; and, upon looking up, I
saw Gum, with the doctor and crow
bar, and lot Of death-rates, coming
down the ladder at me. I fed from the
house to tho Presbyterian Church. close
by, and paid the sexton to let me climb
up to the point Of tho steeple, md set
astride OF the ball. I promised him
twenty more. if he would exclude every
body from that rteeple for week. Once
safely on tho ball, 800 feet from the
earth. made myself comfortable, with
the thoughtthat had Gum at disad-
vantage, and determined to beat him
finally, if had to stay there month.
About an hour afterward, while was
looking at the superb view to the
West, heard rustling on the other
side OF the steeple. 1 looked around,
and there was Benjamin p. Gum, Creep
ing up the side of that spire in balloon,
in which was the tabular estimate Of the
losses Of his company from the Tontine
system. Ae soon as Gum reached the
ball. he threw his graphing iron into
the shingles OF the steeple, and asked
me at what age my father died, and if
any of my aunts hnd consumption or
liver complaint. Without replying, l
slid down the steeple to the ground. and
took the frst train for the Mississippi
Valley. In two weeks, was in Mexico.
I determined to go to the interior, aud
seek some wild spot, in some elevated
region, where no Gum would ever dare
to come. got on mule. aud paid II
guide to lead mo to the summit of Popo-
catapetl. We arrived at tho foot OF the
mountain at noon. We toiled upward
for about four hours. Just before reach
ing the top, heard the sound OF voices,
and, upon rounding point of rocks,
who should see but Benjamin p
Gum, seated on the very edge of the
crater, explaining the endowment plan