Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-07-19
CURRENT ITEMS.


WHAT sort of ascent is a descent9--A
trip up, for 1t brings you down.
NEVER take any risks The insurance
companies will be glad TO do that for
you.
HUMAN CoNsTANoY-Two fools prom
Using to make q straight journey over a
crooked road
A CHICAGO dry goods dealer advertises
The most alarming sacrifice since the
days of Abraham and Isaac"
THE President of the oldest Life Insur-
ance Company in New York is insured in
the Washington Life.
A POLICEMAN was seen the other day,
during a ainstorm, with an umbrella,
trying to arrest the rain.
He who receives q good turn should
never forget it he who does one should
never remember it.
RHODE ISLAND was struck by lightning
the other day, causing widespread devas-
tation in adjoining States.
AN Iowa man refused to be present at
the death of his wife for fear lest she
should pledge him not to marry again.
MANY recipes are given to cure people
who are addicted to spirituous liquors.
The best preventive is to stop drinking.
A GEORGIA Judge who, seventeen years
ago, sentenced John Dotton to be hung,
recently performed the office for John
bottoms son.
A TEXAS Sheriff, who lately ran away,
was vigorously pursued, captured, and
reinstated in office. This is poor en-
couragement to absconding officials.
ALL the prisoners in the Anderson
County (Tenn.) Jail escaped recently ex-
cept cOlored man whose term of service
was to expire in few days.
A BOY was found at Springfield, Mass,
n few days ago, tucked away ON the
framework just above the wheels of a
car attached to an express train, with in
tent to steal ride to New York.
A PARTY of fifty Bostonians are left
destitute in San Francisco, having been
lured thither on mining speculation by
a swindler who secured $4,000 and de-
camped.
THE proposition that nothing is so
painful as to see man of eighty intoXi-
Gated, is disputed by an editor, who
thinks it more excruciating to see man
of ninety in the same condition.
A RESIDENT of Brownstown, Mich,
has been committed to Jail in default of
$500 bail, for chopping a cow with an AK
until she was dead, the animal having
provoked him in some way.
A MAN endeavored to find out the
age of horse by counting his teeth.
Those he couldn't see to count, he felt of
He told the doctor who sewed up his
hand that this was hard world for la
boring man.
To remove proud flesh, pulverize loaf
sugar very fine, and apply it to the part
= e I.
and is said to remove it entirely without
pain. 1t has been practiced in England
for many years.
AN afflicted editor, who is troubled
with hand-organs under his window,
longs for the !" evil days" mentioned in
Ecclesiastes, when "the grinders shall
cease because they are few," and "the
sound of grinding shall be low"
RULES FOR Hot WEATHER.-Dont
rub the frost off your window panes in
the morning, as it has tendency to keep
the glass from melting. If you have
many creditors always carry an umbrella
and walk on the sunny side of the street.
"PRIsoNER," said Squire in award
ing Judgment, cit is a maxim of the
law that it is better to err on the side of
mercy. The court has made up her mind
which side she will err on, and nothing
remains but to err on that side"
A YOUNG man rode ten miles in a rail-
road carriage with young lady, with the
intention of popping the question, but all
he said was, 'Itis quite mooney to o-night. y
"Yes," she replied, ''muchly." And there
wasn't another word said.
THE following composition has beer
turned out by an American scholar, aged
nine years: GA boy without father is g
norphan; without mother a double
norphan; but is often without a grand
father or grandmother, and then he is 6
nOrphanist."
MARK TWAIN says Franklin was always
proud of telling how he entered Philadel
phia for the first time, with nothing in thu
world but two shillings in his pocket, anC
four rolls of bread under his arm. Bu
really it was nothing. Anybody coulC
have done it.
A VIGOROUS old agriculturist living nea
Abilene, Kansas, while hoeing corn thu
other day, chopped his big toe off will
the hoe, bu5 never stopped to pick it VI
until he had finished out his row. HI
then went back, found the amputated ap
pendage, brushed the dirt of, and carried
it to the house, where, with the aid of hi
wife and some fruit,jar wax, he replaced
IL anu ln6u WcuJ W NOTh again.
AMAN passed through Worcester, Mass
the other day, who had travelled nearl7
four thousand miles in four months, ol
foot, on his way to Boston. He carried
with him gun and wooden blanket,
haversack and canteen. He declined tn
proffered hospitality of citizen, replyin!
that he did not ask any one for his living
When he left Nevada he had $3.50, SOM
of which remained unspent when he wa
in Worcester.
A YOUTH in an Eastern city was enam
ored of a young lady in that town, but wa
too bashful to pop the question in person
so he went to Pittsfeld and telegraphet
to her: "Will you marry me9" He waiteC
an hour or two in fever of anxiety TO
the reply, and got it in this brief bu
pointed sentence: "No, you fool, you,
and he had to pay for his lady loves dis
patch besides.
In law suit the other day, between
two members of the same church, coun
sci for one of the parties suggested tha
the brethren ought to defer their differ
ences for adjustment to the high cour
above, to which his client responded tina
the "same idea had occurred to him, bu
there seemed to be an insuperable obstacl
in the way-he cOuLdnt cOntriUe any lCay
get his Ia'oyer there"
OF an elderly lady now visiting rela
tives in Danbury, the following inciden
in her childhood is remembered: Sh
had been sent to the pasture to driv
horne a COW, and while thus engaged fel
from fence she was climbing, and wa
severely bruised On returning home
and telling of the accident, she was aske,
if she cried when she fell. "Why, no
mother" she quickly answered, "ther
was no one to hear me"
A NOVEL suit was decided in Baltimor
the other day. In 1864 a son of Mr.. vii
liam Gent was drafted in the Fedora
army, and the father induced his linden
tured apprentice, Jacob Cole, colore
boy, to believe that he had been drafted
and must obey the summons. The latter
believing he was in duty bound to do tn
bidding of his master, entered the army