The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1872-06-28
From the London Abridged for May.l
A Visit to No-Man's Land, With Some
Account of Its Great Machine.
by JUAN LEVI

BY JUAN LEWIS.
How I came to visit it, il does not
matter here. If L were induced thereto
/ by n vision of its marvellous blessings
as reported in ornate and polished pc
riods of self-delegated advocates; or by
choice editorials not published as off
cial; or if the immediate cause of my
visit was a latent mistrust that possibly
/ all this brilliant show of intellectual
and oratorical glory might not be re-
! Election from pure gold, or even unal-
| loved silver, nor yet good, honest brains
though sayoring somewhat strongly
of the latter, politically, is of no conse-
quence to the reader.
Sufficient herein to say did so visit,
and under exceedingly favorable aus
pices.
1t so happens that Don Henriques
! Segundo is distant relative of mine;
and more fortunately still, it happens
that he is banker, of much renOwn in
No-Man's Land; and consequently Il
useful acquaintance for one about visit
| ing that country.
Hearing from the Don that influence
official, financial and personal-was
the great desiderdtUm to insure success
in any undertaking, l supplied myself
/ WIFI NUMEROUS SttChS VI EOlAGll OuNalSt
and something like 4 dray load of rec
onfmendatory letters to various mag
mates of his wonderful land, and taking
passage by the most approved route, ar
rived without accident. There | was
met by great surprise. The news of
my expected arrival had preceded me.
Don Henriques, with praisewOrthy
adherence to custom that pertains
elsewhere, of making every possible Oc-
casiOn reduced to ones individual inn
| pOrtance, had made known the fact,
adding sundry picturesque embellish
ments regarding my political life and
services, of a highly imaginative char
acter.
The result was to secure for me pub
licity neither welcome nor desired-in
which | may remark that Don Hen
riques shone with great splendOr; and
the freedom of the city was rendered
me, i'm the formal address of an official
committee of welcome.
The freedom OF the city whatever ii
meant) declined; but as knowledge of
such committee may be of service to
the graceless youths Of my own country,
/ am tempted to give brief description
of il here.
1t was made up of honorable men,
bers, holding official relations with
nearly every department, Bureau and
Board of the General Government, none
of whom, as | afterwards heard, held
less rank than that of General or Col
Onel. There had been a private de
tailed To act as Secretary, Don Hen
riques said; but all the COlonels had
taken turns in drilling him for carcass
duty at conventions, and he was in
consequence too much discouraged to
appear at the reception
The committee was understood To be
composed of the leading citizens, and,
as such, deemed my visit one of pOlit-
ical significance; very properly conf
prised of custom officials, revenue Off
cials, postoflice officials, treasury Off
cials, and officials detective and judi
ciary, with a front and rear rank Of
home veterans and peace patriots.
There were also subcommittee act
ing as flankers TO the main body-like
the Others, sacrificing themselves in the
service of the government. OF these /
only remember few by designation.
There were the Senatorial Committee,
the Representation Committee, the Leg
islative, the Councilmanic, the Build
ing, the Special, the Private, the Per-
sonal, the Appropriation, the EX-Army,
the Aldermanic, the Privileged, the
/ General Committee land, perhaps, the
| Corporal COmmittee), the Executive
| Committee and the Universal-Religio-
COnstitutiOnal-tinker Committees.
/ Most of these honorable gentlemen
/ (''They were all honorable men'') Wore
a gold-crested favor i'm his button-hole,
/ inscribed with a singular legend in the
dialect of No-Man's Land,
POLICY is the Best HOHcStyr'
had noticed at the reception that
hardly any of the committee wore coats
precisely alike, although strong effort
seemed to be made individually to Sc
cure uniformity in cut and fit-blue and
gray walked side by side with black
and brown, and motley was especially
prominent.
| asked Don Henriques, after the af-
fair was over and we were alone, to eX-
plain this.
The popularity l had noticed i'm the
coats, he said, was the result of frequent
turning; for, being furnished by the
government tailor, they had often been
remOdeled and re-eut to suit the ext
gences of governmental fashions-yet
were invariably, so far as he knew, the
same old garments in which the wearers
begun public life.
This explanation seemed so strange to
me-and yet, somehow, not entirely
new-that / was about to ask the Don
further questions regarding the govern
ment of his wonderful land, when he
signed to me to be silent, and, taking
me by the arm, led me up Rail street
named from the RialtO, perhaps,), the
great gold thOroughfare of No-Man's
Land, to a tall tower at its head, whence
a view could be had of the whole of his
country.
Here he placed in my hands a singu.
lar optical instrument, known in theii
!, dialect rs a fungiscope, which enable!
the observer to look beyond the veil o
partisanship; to mark the line whicl
, separates usurping power and plumber
ing people; to disguise the body poll
tic; in short to supply the invisibl,
link connecting cause and result.
Through this marvellous instrument
! saw brought out, i'm startling distinct
ness, all that was hitherto hidden an,
unseen i'm the peculiar government o
: NO-AIan's Land. The magic power o
the fungiscOpe stripped OFF the flimsl
coverings, and the glaze and glitter o
/ social and political shams became dul
r and dark i'm the light of truth.
Far beneath and around me, stretch
. ing as far as the eye could see, | saw 10y
this light the workings of n giganti'
machine. Its qualifications eXtendet
over the whole country. Belts, SPIN
. dies, pulleys, shafting, cogs, levers
! rachets, drills, and all the parapher
MALTA which constitutes strong II no
[: delicate machinery, were IN Iuil opeiIt
/ ton, and to their continued worklng al al
: DISC seemed subservient. At first / wa:
. 50 astonished that / failed to see th'
,,,;,~l,t,. ,,ou,ar which moved this vas