davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13
SpOffOrd's Sarcasm.

CHIEF-JUsTICE SPoFFORD, during the
latter part of his official career, was
about as brusque and biting as man could
be. and in his bitter moods he was as
apt to be ungenerous as he was sareas-
tic. When left to his own meditatlons,
with nothing to ruffle his temper, his de-
cisions were clear and compact, and his
legal papers patterns of ornate erudl-
tiOn; and, moreover, his decisions were
held as good and sufficient law of prece-
dent. Once upon time Spotford was at
the head of the bench holding a court of
equity, and in the case under trial it be-
came necessary for the attorney toprove
the death Of certain man. This attor'
ney was by name Wallington-a thin
visaged, nervous, buzzing fellow, who had
the reputation ofnever letting go his hold
upon case until he had wrung the last
possible dollar from it. Wellington pro-
duced what he considered sufficient
proof of the death Of the man in ques-
tion, but the Judge would not accept it.
'That is no proof at all, f" was Spofford's
emphatic remark The attorney brought
forward other evidence. And still old
Spofford shook his head. "Itwill not do,
sir. We cannot accept that as proof"
eYour honor" cried Wellington, with
much show of vexatiOn, "pardon me II 1
deem your decision extremely hard. Why
will you not believe me? | knew the
man well, to the day of his death /; / saw
him dead with my own eyes, and | at
tended his funeral. He was my client,
your honor" "Your client % exclaimed
Spoford /" Why, in the name of sense
and reason, didn't you state that fact in
the first place? No wonder he died. We
admit the proof. Go on, sir" The judge
probably thought but lightly of the sar-
casm at the time, but it proved crusher
for poor Wallington-so much SO that he
was forced to seek another field for the
exercise of his profession.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13
The Duk.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

The Duk iz a kind ov short legged hen.
When cooked they are very good means
ov nourishment, in fakt, it will do to call
rosie duk and apple sass eazy tew con-
tend with.
The duk has big foot for the size ov
their boldly, but their foot IL not the
right kind ov foot for digging in the
garden. .,,
Their foot il like small spiders web,
only more substanshul bilt.
They are ann hibicuss, and kan sale on
the water az natral and eazy az a grease
spot.
They can dive in the water az handy az
a bull frog, and never get water soaked.
Water won't stay quiet on duk,s back
no longer than quicksilver will WHARF it
liz down hill.
Duks have a broad bill which enables
them tew eat their food without emmy
spoon.
They are more profitable tew keep than
a hen, bekause they can eat SO mutch
faster.
The duk liz good hand tew raze feath-
ers, which groze all over their person
simultaneously without emmy order.
Men often call their wifes their "deGr
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13

The point of the following story de-
pends upon rule of criminal law, not,
perhaps, known to all the readers OF this
paper-namely, that sentence, when
once pronounced by judge, cannot be
legally altered or added to by the judge.
] The late Chief Baron O'Grady, many
years ago, was sentencing pickpocket,
in Cork, to be whipped-a common pun
ishment in those days. "You must, the
Chief Baron said, "be whipped from
North Gate to South Gate" bad luck
to you, you old blackguard," said the pris-
oner, "you done your worst" "And
back again" said the Chief Baron. as II
he had been interrupted by the prisoner
in the delivery of the sentence.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13

rubbed him all over. After finishing the
Job she looked at the bottle, and found
that she had vanished her better half
from head to foot with furniture polish
A GOOD Joke is told of a Florence ~mer-
chant who recently took trip to Canada
While taking dinner upon one of the
Canadian steamers, said merchant very
innocently took all egg, broke its shell,
and emptied its contents, as he sup
posed, into ar egg cup. After arranging
it to suit his taste he raised the supposed
egg cup, when, 10 it was China nap
kin ring. The indignation of the met
chant and the mirth of the guests were
alike unmistakable. t.,.
A BEGGAR asked for piece of bread
and butter at a house the'other day, and
on a couple of slices being brought to him
he Immediately, refusedit. Whats the
matter" asked the donor; 'isnt tthisg good
bread?" eyes, the breads good enough, "a
said the beggar. HWell, isn't 5. the }. butter 6t
the matter?" 81 don't like the way it's
snread ON. +" growled the fastidious mendi-
can't
THE following story of an abnormal
appetite is vouched for by a Paris corre-s
spondent. M. Geoffroy st. Hilaire, the
well-known director of the. Jardin d'Ac-
climation. noticed that the small birds
were rapidly and mysteriously disappear-
ing. After some days watch, it was
found that little negro who took care OF
the camels was the culprit. He was caught
in the act of eating a fine rose-colored
crane. 1t was alive and uttering hideous
cries, which apparently only increased
the zest with which the young monster
bit into his raw and bleeding back. lie
confessed to having stolen, and devoured
alive, other missing birds. A sound whip
ping did not seem to do him much good,
for he was found three hours afterward
engaged in a furious battle with the seal,
which he probably intended to kill and
eat. He was at once put in close confine-
ment. niIuUuE. GUGU gtNN05 ~
JIM YOUNG and Bob Brown were two
chums, and roomed together at their
boarding house. Jim was employed as
brakeman on railroad, and Bob was a :
house painter One evening Jim's train
was delayed by an accident on the road,
and when he arrived home, he found Bob
had gone out. He therefore retired to
rest without him. Not long after, Bob
came home, and, finding Jim asleep, '
thought it an excellent opportunity for
practical joke; so, creeping noiselessly
over to the bed, and placing his mouth close
to the sleeper's ear he gave prolonged
"To-o-o-ot," the sigma for ''down brakes"
In an instant Jim seized him by the hair,
and turning his head from left to right,
In the same manner that he would the
handle of brake, cried PUT on the
brakes! Put on the brakesw How long
Jim would have kept quitting on the
brakes" it would be hard to say, had not Dr.
some of the boarders, hearing the noise,
rushed in and rescued Bob, who, for some
weeks, had peculiar fashion of looking
over his right shoulder. Jim afirms that
he was sound asleep at the time, but Bob
says "he'll be blamed if he don't sleep
with one eye open, then"
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13
EPIT1PHS.

ALL reverence unto Epitaphs,
For high or for the lOWly,
Whenever they on graves are writ
BY Truth, and so made holy.
Such make, in their deep earnestness,
The living grander-hearted,
And keep the souls, though freed from time,
Still from our souls impaired
And many are the Epitaphs
In prose or in verse flowing,
And silent sacred music there
On board or marble glowing
Oh, heavenly the influence,
Angels unseen around us,
While often white robes, like their own,
Seem to have softly wound u.s..
Some Epitaphs shrine in the hearts
Beauty divinely tender,
And some throne the sublime in all
Eternity's own splendor:
But one there is that marrles Doth
Sublimity and Beauty;
Within one little line it lives
lie taied to do his duty!
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13

THE noble manner in which some men
conduct themselves in the hour OF danger
was illustrated recently, in q panic which
occurred on an East River steamer, caused
by an accident to the machinery. One
man snatched life-preserver from the
hands of a woman, and encased his own
manly chest in it, while another provided
himself with six life-preservers, and was
in the act of putting them all on, one
over another, when he was forced to de-
liver five of them to women,
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13
Poetry.
SLAM THE DOOR CENT? Y.

bOILd III L liz DOOLG CA1Af 4 ~
BY SLAM BANG.
SLAM the door gently!
Most people can hear,
BY listening intently,
When thunder rolls near.
And some folks, if earthquakes
Should travel their way,
Would be stirred by the great shakes
To ask, Whats to pay?"
And gratuitous thunder,
From closing doors crashed,
Inspires one to wonder
What's suddenly smashed.
An earthquake commotion
For moving things serves;
But it's hardly the lotion
For hinges and nerves.
Let MS, consequently,
(Since mercy's treasure,)
just slam the door gently,
When we have the leisure.
Lazy E2gin.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13

THE English are taught at an early age
to support the monarchy. Mos1 Oicyy ev9[y
school-boy has had the prints OF wales
upon his back.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-09-13

Grape Jelly.-Bruise and boil the
fruit then strain add half pound of
sugar to each pint of juice, then boil from
ten to twenty minutes, sa :
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
NEW CASTLE COUNTY COURTS.
WEDNESDAY,.


Courts OF General Sessions of the Peace and
Jail Delivery opened this morning, according to
the adjournmente of last Tuesday.
Case No. 1866 was continued by application Of
defendant on account of absence of a material
Witness
No 96 continued for settlement.
No. 65 referred to Counsel.
No. 10S, judgment for plaintiff to be
ascertained by jury.
Nos 12s 1870, l57, 1853, and 1873 continued on
application of Defendants respectively, on the
grounds OF absence of material witnesses.
In No 1888 the Jury of Inquieition moved a
a verdict for the plaintiff Of $l34l.85.
In No. 1856, on Inquisition at Bar, there was
verdict for Plaintiff, Of 1898 65.
Also, in No. 159. id the same manner, a YER
dict for Plaintiff, for Sl2s3.50.
In No. 1853, an appeal from Justice of the
Peace, a mon suit was granted on motion Of
Defendant.
No l67, referred to Counsel.
No. 1863, Smith Us Stroud. This was an appeal
from a Justi,s OF the Peace. This case is the
same thaccame before the public, some months
ago, and the facts are AZ follows
Stroud was Night Clerk in the Post Office, in
this city, on a salary of 300 per year. Smith
was a Postal Car Agent, on the route between
$1,000 per nnnum, and married man. Stroud
(who was unmarried) approached Smith and
agreed to exchange places with him, on the fol-
ing bas 8 Stroud to take Smiths place at 912-
w, give Ills Nv gtuUt anu pay nlLl pAuu
at the rate of $40 for the first months, then
rest month and the next3 MONTHS to pay $50
80 in the next months, and to continue in this
ratio (900) per year so long as each OF them
continue in the respective. situations. This ar
rangement had been in progress from May
1871, until February 1872, when the Genl, Govt
discharged them both, and this suit was brought
before a Justice of Peace, by Smith, to recover
$100 alleged to be due him on said contract by
Stroud 4--=# e..a,
Several witnesses were examined more or less,
to substantiate this agreement, but the Defence
moved for a non sui on the ground that such a
contract was void az being against public pol
ICY The Court granted the non suit. Bird,
Esq, for DIT.
There being no trials ON which to engage a
jury they were mainly occupied at Inquisitions
at Bar " ON several cases. when, at about p.
NJ, they were discharged from further attend
ance at this term of Court. r..
Jacob Snnex, who was indicted, tried and con-
victed this week, for keeping disorderly house,
was sentenced by the Court to pay fine Of $40.
and costs, be imprisoned one month from to-day.
Several matters OF purely legal nature occu-
pied the Court until near 6 O'Clock, 2. M, at
at which hour they adjourned until 10 A. NJ,
tomorrow.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
The Rehoboth Camp Meeting Enterprise.

SUCCESS or THE EFFORT TO LOCATE A SEASIDE
RESORT ON THE PENINsULA-THE STOCK NEARLY
ALL TAKEN-MEETINa OF STOCKHOLDERS.
The enterprise, noticed some time ago in our
columns to provide religious seaside resort at
Rehoboth is proving an unexampled success
The stock-3O0 shares, at $50 each-is now
nearly all taken The subscribers are scattered
from Philadelphia to Washington, with the ma
jority, however, within the bounds of the PENN
slla, and represent most Of the Churches.
The result has been reached almost without
effort or solicitation. Rsy. II. W. Todd informs
us that insteal of having to visit different
points and solicit subscription, as was ex-
pected, he has been kept constantly busy re-
plying to communications on the subject, either
making inquiries or subscribing to the stock.
The stockholders will meet on next Thursday,
the 18th inst, at l015 A. NJ, in st. Paurs Nj. E.
Church. in this city. to transact the business me-
cessary to the successful prosecution and con-
summation of the enterprise.
Rev. w. M. Warner, S. p. Houston, Esq, and
Others of Lewes Rev. A. d. Davis Of George
town Rev. T. L. Poulson, of Baltimore Hon
G. p Fisher, of Washington; Reys. ~ f. Plum
mer, L Stubbs and ]. b. Quigg of Wilmington
and several others, have proven efficient add
and merit the thanks of those interested.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
NeighborinH Counties.

The diphtheria prevails at Havre de Grace.
The fox hunting season has opened in Ches-
ter county.
-Birdsboro' has been Incorporated into a
borough. 8
The present almshouse Of Chester county,
was built In 1888.
George shaffer, of Pheuixville, has been
arrested for forgery.
The Phoenix Iron Co. has reduced the wages
OF its employees 5 per cent.
The Masons at Reading have purchased a lot
upon which to build temple.
The turnpike companies OF Chester county
complain Of the Epizooty and light receipts.
John Law was struck and instantly killed by
a locomotive at Perkiomen junction, last week.
The health of West Chester, the Doctors
say, is growing less good with the advent of
winter.
The aggregate improvements in West Chos-
ter, this year, is S2500OO. Five factories have
been built.
"A dancing sociable in West Chester is called
''the owls" The members see their way clearly
to all amusements.
"A Fire Alarm and Police Telegraph is to be
erected in Reading. The policemens salary has
also been increased.
The American Wood Paper Co.'S mill at
Valley Forge was burned last week. The mill
--Saml Il. Wallace, OF Hartford county, walk
ed home from his field, recently, and died Of
heart disease, shortly thereafter.
Thos. W. Marshall has resigned the cash
ershp of the First National at West Chester To
enter into partnership with Smeiley Darling
| ton.
Hon. j. NJ. Broomall before its adjourn
| ment, introduced resolution into the Oonstitu-
tional Convention, comforting suffrage upoI
women.
New bridges are being erected by the phila
| & Baltimore Central Railroad Co. over the Rec
| Clay creek, between Kennett Square and Tough
| kenamon. A
The clothing of little daughter of JOIN
| Handy, of Havre dc Grace, oaught FIRE. and the
child was burned to death before they were ex
| tinguished.
| Police business has been exceedingly dull
| in West Chester the past two weeks. Iht
hanging of Geo. Grant ought to have been a
timely warning to civil doers.
The tax upon the whiskey and tobacco con
/ sumed in Delaware and Chester counties during
/ the last fiscal year amounted to 915, ,656.54 AMI
/ yet the people there congratulate themselves
that thishgnre is smaller than any other district
Wesley White, was attacked by woman anC
| her pal as he was driving from West Chester Il
| his home in East Bradford twp. on Wednesda
night. The woman pulled Mr.. w. from hi
wagon, while the man stabbed him with butch
/ er knife.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
A Yourhral Career OF Crime.
TWICE IN THE PENTTENrIARY, AND TWICE IN THE
PILLoRY IN q YEARS.
ILL., Nn.,nhril,r1 A.iira an III

TWICE IN THE PENITENTIARY, AND TWICE IN THE
PILLoRY IN 21 YEARS.
The Cambridge Nelos says
Thomas Cox, the prisoner that was removed
from Caroline county to Dorchester for trial, and
convicted at the late term of the Circuit Court for
assault with intent to rob feeble old man on
the highway, was greater desperate and more
hardened criminal than ia often found at his age.
Beginning life in a rum shop at the age of twelve,
he was not long in learning to swear and drink
intemperatey. Stealing followed, and he was
twice placed In the pillory and logged in Della
ware. Next he was sent to the Maryland Peni-
tentiary from one of the lower counties and he
had only been out few weeks when he met an
old man in Greensboro, Caroline county, and acci-
dentally saw his Pocket-book, which was
we'll filed with greenbacks. A few days af-
ter he met the same gentleman on theroad, asked
him to give him ride, and short time after
he was in the carriage attempted to rob him, and
would have probably succeeded had they not
been overtaken by another carriage. Whilst
witness was testifyiug in court in his case he
leaned towards an attorney sitting close by and
said, "As soon az l get loose I'll give that man
thed d-st tlogging he ever heard Of" After he
was convicted and sentenced for six years and
sent back TO jail, he went to work and broke his
hand cuffs, his leg-rons priced open the inner
door and set fire to the outer one, and when dis
covered was almost free He has a very youth
full look a large head, and not a bad looking
face strong and muscular build; he will evident
ly endure Six years of prison life without injnr-
ing his constitution. He is only about twenty-one
years of age.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
40 REvOIR.
by II. H.

II Oh solemn words, which have OF all
Leave-taking words the deepest spell,
From careless lips hear them fall,
Sounding like prophetic knell
Each day In idle hearts' farewell.
Te meet again All! yes again
4 Life's chances may together bring
These two who thoughtless part. But when
The leaves which wild winds toss and nng,
OF years keep slender reckoning.
To meet again All 2 yes but where7
They both tread oEers and dance to-day,
B,twinter winds chill summer air;
And ca tn has places dark and gray
Whence flowers and song have passed away
., To meet again All iif God will.
With health and youth their veins are red,
But graye-stones glesm on every hill;
And burisl-servces are said
Each day above the early dead.
Oh hearts | these solemn words Of all
Leave-taking words have deepest spell;
! tender whispers let them fall;
p. "a And lest they prove prophetic knell,
Add weren't prayer to each farewell
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
Personal AND PARTICULAR.

"A thirty-fve year old Terre Hauter has al
ready had five wives.
King Oscar OF Sweden is said to be the tall
est monarch in the world.
1t il being said that Vice President Colfax
will be the next editor in chief OF the Tribune.
Mrs Sniffkns says her husband is three
handed man-rght hand, left hand and a little
behind hand.
Would you rather go through giddy waltz
with pretty girl than go through pretty waltz
with giddy girl
Time by the forelock-A Repu blcan Meeting
in Michigan has nominated Schuyler Colfax for
President in 1876.
"A Georgian demagogue. having his orthogra-
ply aspersed, shot his critic to yindicate his
pistolary correctness.
Mr.. Greeleys daughters are respectively,
Ida Lillian, who is about twenty and Gabrielle
Merriam, who is about fifteen.
Mr.. A: II. Stephens can walk only with the
aid of crutches and a servant, aud does not leave
his house except on pleasant days
The grave-an ugly hole in the ground
which lovers and poets wish they were in, but
take uncommon care to keep out Of.
Why is hen-pecked husband like an um
brellA Because he's very big when he's out but
Immediately shut up when he gets home.
Mr.. Greeey's life was insured for slOO 900,
for the benefit of the Tribune Association. OF
this amount 100000 was held by the National
Life Insurance Company.
Sir Sidney Waterlow the present Lord Mayor
Of London, began life as an apprentice in typo
graphical composing room, and afterwards set
up in the same business for himself.
"A Mrs. Day, of Springfield, ILL.,, lately gave
birth to bankruptcies. The bereaved father says
Shakespeare WAS quite right when he said we do
not know what day may bring forth"
"A young lady, up at Kennett Square, pres
ented her lover with a pair Of "pulse warmers, +"
and thinking they were baby stockings, the fool
of man gave them away to man with fami-
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
Tho American Clyde,

Congress is about passing bill to build ten
sloops of war, in the Government navy.yards.
1t was debated in the House, yesterday, when
Hon. Washington Townsend. of the Chester and
Delaware district, and Judne Kelley of Phila-
delphia, earnestly urged the amendment that
five OF them be built by contract, in private
yards This amendment will no doubt. be
adopted. Mr.. Townsend made very forcble
argument in favor of the shipyarJs on the Della
ware. being given an opportunity to compete for
the work, and insisted, accurately, Of course,)
that they had ample facilities for building these
yaaaela
Wilmington daily commercial., 1872-12-05
Delnwnre's Vote for Grant and Wilson.

MEETING OF THE ELECTORS, AT DOVER, YEsrER-
DAY.
Correspondence Of the Commercial
DOVER, Dec. 4th.
To day the Presidential Electors OF this State
met here, and cast three votes for U. s. Grant,
for President, and three votes for Henry Wilson
for Vce-Presdent. The organization was had
by appointing Benjamin s. Booth Esq, of New
castle county, Chairman, and Geo. V. Massey
ESD, Clerk. Benjamin Burton, of Sussex Co.,
was appointed messenger to take the vote to
Washington.
The meeting was an agreeable one. The Elec-
tors-Beni s Booth. of New Castle; DIR. W T.
Collins, Kent and David w. Moore Sussex ;
met each other for the first time, and cast the
vote of the State for the first time since 1S4S,
for a candidate in opposition to the Democratic
Party.
l may mention what, no doubt, will be new to
many readers, that the certificates of election
were made in accordance to Congressional law,
in triplicdte- copy with the Governors cer-
tihcate attached is to be forwarded to the
President of the United States, by messenger
one to Hon. Edward G. Bradford, Judge of the
District Court of the United States by tile
hands of one of the Electors, the other to the
President of the United States Senate, pei
mail. @.