Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-09-06

OLD lime REMEDIEs.-After ages of expert
ment and experience, the art of curing is still
such an uncertain art that thousands might say,
as the poor invalid said, 81 never took a remedy
but I've bad lots of physic." d. Whately could
have said just the contrary. He did not take
lots Of physie, but had a remedy, nevertheless,
that stood him in good stead at all times and
seasons. A gentleman making an evening call
at Redesdae when the snow lay two feet thick
upon the ground, was much scandalized at be-
holding an old man in shirt sleeves hard at work
telling tree, while the sleet drited pitessly In
his wrinkled face. Upon expressing his surprise
that the archbishop should let an old laborer
work in such fashion, he was ast0nished to learn
that the poor fellow exciting his wrathful pity
was the archbishop himself, getting rid of a
headache in his usual way, which was TO throw
off his coat, lay hold of an axe, rush out OF doors
and belabor some stout old trunk till he found
himself perspring freely; when down went the
AK and off went DR.. Whatey as hard as he could
tear 10 his bedroom TO wrap himself up in his
newest blankets, 90 to sleep, and arise by and
by cas- fresh as four-year-old." Sydney Smith
prepared for all eventualities by devOting one
side of room TO a collection of medicines, on
the efficacy of which he plumed himself not a
little There's the Gentle-oy, a pleasure 10
take it,; the Bulldog, for more serious cases;
Peters Puke, aud Hearts Delight-the comfort
of all the old women in the village; Rub-a-dub.
a capital embrocation Dead-stop settles the
matter at once, and Up-with-it-then needs no
explanation. This is the house to be i'll in;
everybody who comes here is expected to take
a little of something. | consider il delicate
compliment when my guests have slight ill
ness. We have contrivances for everything.
If you have a stiff neck or swelled face,
here is this sweet case of tin, filled with
hot water, and covered with flannel, TO put
round your neck, and you are well
directly. Likewise, a patent tin shoulder, in
case of rheumatism. There you see stomach
tin, the greatest comfort in life; and lastly,
here is tin slipper, TO be filled with hot water,
which you can sit with in the drawing room
should you come in chilled, without wetting
your feet" Sydney Smith had almost as much
faith in hot water as Burke, only he was for its
external use; some of his contrivances might
certainly be adopted with advantage. Scotts
AShestiel blacksmith, who upon the strength of
little veterinary skill, set up as a doctor of
human kind in a small English town, was
man Of few remedies As he told Sir Walter,
his practice was very sure, and perfectly ortho-
dox for he depended entirely on "twa simples."
And what may they bel" asked Scott, with
some curiosity. "Pll tell your honor" said
Lundie; "my twa simples are laudamy and cal
amyN "Simples with vengeance" exclaimed
the poet. "But do you never happen to kill
some of your patients, John?" "Kill2 Gu ay,
maybe, sac! Whites they die, and whites no;
but it's the will O. Providence. Onyhow, your
honor, it wad be lang before it makes up for
Floddenl' That last touch went straight TO
SCOTS heart, we may be sure. Johnnie Lundie
was not quite so frank with the unucky vic
tins of his orthodox practice; frankness with
them would have been unprOfessional 1t would
perhaps be a change for the better if European
doctors could initiate the plain speaking China
man, Lii Pc Sal, who, when called in by a Cali
fornia gentleman, after the usual examination
said, 81 think you too much dance, too much
eat, too much goot round. If you dance you
no get better; too much eating no good; too
much gooting round no good. Good byP
Dared our medical advisers be as honest as their
Chinese brother, drugs would be at a discount
indeed; but then ii is just possible the registrar
general might be able to show a cleaner bill of
health Chambers Journal.