Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-03-25
GOOD THINGS.

I land it only takes Mr.. Disraeli {
1 make clamOr.
a. night-clerk who was called I'D b
) a woman who wanted to buy ''a cent
worth of matches,n in q Lowell dru
store, politely told her to go Wher
I birthstone was free.
! The highest praise we can award T.
4 the best OF our own sex Is to say tina
he Is "all man." but the averag
woman of the period Is all manner
, Which Is an argument not heretOfor
advanced in favor Of female suffrage
A. good man, who has seen much O
, the world, and Is tired Of 1t, says
"The grand essentials to happiness
are something to do, something Il
love, and something to hope fol" )"
AS an instance of how the present
administration transcends the tradi
tons Of our government, it may bC
observed that while our national EN-,
blem is only fowl, the political do
tngs at Washington are continually
becoming fouler.
Fifty years ago, Mr.. and Mrs. Rob
inson Of New Haven, Connecticut
were married. Recently they cele,
brated their golden wedding, and their
bridesmaids and grOomsmen Of half 8
century ago were all present.
The Courier-Journal says: SIN 1927
a Chinese editor caused some false In
telligence to be inserted In his paper,
and suffered the death penalty. His
tory does not record that any other
Republican editor ever existed In
| China"
"YOung man, do you ever drinkP ?"
asked mild-loOking man accosting
Jones. "Well, yes, thank you, as it's
a cold morning don't mind" replied
Jones, removing his quid OF tobacco.
'Don't do it any more" rejoined the
mild man, "or you will eventually be
-. Good morning. God bless you"
A recent dispatch from the city of
Mexico says: 1.-THE editors of the
capital have formed 8 society, the
members of which agree to abstain
from mutual personal attacks In fu-
ture when discussing politics or other
| matters" In this the editors of Mex.
leo have set an example which the
editors OF this country should follow.
Do not go grumbling about at the
demands of the law, since it fOrbids
nothing that will bless you, and
claims no act on your part that can
be an injury. Every requirement of
God is q golden chain of love let down
from Heaven to draw our souls from
the miasmss and fogs-the filth and
misery OF this lower world, to all that
is good and beautiful above.
Two men, who were staying at
hotel in Providence had made ar.
rangements TO fight duel. The gov
ernOr Of Rhode Island Issued an or.
der forbidding 1t, upon which one of
the duelists wrote to the governor
telling him that as he had prevented
the affair in Rhode Island one of the
parties would stand In Massachusetts
and the other in Connecticut, and
shoot over his miserable little State.
Johannes. has made q brilliant dis
eovery, to the effect that If the grist
were divided the stone might be dis
pensed with. Thus the patriarch:
Johannes, your fadder, your grand
fadder, and your great-grandIadde
all went to de mill with the stone in
one end OF de pag and de grist in de
odder. Und now you, mere pOy,
sets yourself up to know more as dey
do. You put de stones in de pag and
never. more let me see such smartness
as dat"
There Is an old lady living on one
OF the streams in Wayne county, who
was visited by lightning. rod man
last summer. He asked her If she
would buy some lightning.rods. She
answered that she was not afraid of
lightning, but awfully afraid Of thun-
der, and II he had any thunder-rods
she would buy some of them. He
scratched his head moment, then he
told her that he had them. She had
them put up.
Madam" said 8 husband to his
young wife in a little alteration
which will spring up in the best regu-
lated families, "When man and his
wife have quarreled and each consid-
ers the other at fault, which of the
two ought to advance toward q recon.
ciliatiOn?" "The best-natured and
wIsest of the tWo," said the wife, put
ting up her mouth for q kiss, which
was given with JUNCTION.
Punch "deems it his duty to recon-.
mend his readers at once to begin to
master the whole name of the King
OF Siam, as visit from that monarch
to these shores is not an improbable
event. His majesty's card will bear
the following incription: "Pra Bat
S0mdeteh Prabaramain Taramaha
Ohulalonkon KlaO Pra Chao Pen Diu
SIAM" The effect of this magnificent
name, reverberating from fight to
flight in some great mansion in the
West, can hardly be exaggerated"
The philosophers Of Illinois have
found subject upon which they can
incubate with comfort for some time
to come. 1t is a hens egg, within
which brass button has been found.
The conundrum is, how came it there,
and what would have been the result
had this particular egg been subject to
ihe hens own incubation for twenty
one days? The Illinois sages have
not got to the bottom,of that subject
yet.
A st. Johns (Newfoundland) lover
recently married girl whom he sup
posed was as poor as church mouse,
and not being Cr9sus himself, love
in cottage was his only expectation.
After the knot was duly tied, how
ever, the girl informed him that she
had 81, 100000 sterling in her own
right, and one of the handsOmes resi-
dences in Canada is to be the future
domieile OF the happy pair.
The Healdsburg Flag says that a
citizen of Healdsburg some four or five
weeks since sent letter to q friend in
Wisconsin, on the envelope OF which
was written the very common direc-
ton: fIf not called for within thirty
days, the postmaster will please re-
turn to -" The letter started on
its Journey, ran into the snow block
ade on the Union Pacific railroad, re-
manned there the ''thirty days. and
was returned to the writer In Healds-
burg ss per instruction.
An editor, whose subscribers were
remiss in payment, lately published
the following announcement in his
paper: "To save our readers trouble.
ard to relieve two unfortunates, we
shall send to each of our debtors, in
the course of few days, two collec-
tors, one OF whom has hardly recov.
cred from the smallpox, and the other
Of whom has just taken the itch.''
The delinquents did not wait to
be called on, but paid their dues
promptly.
A geologist who has been studying
the rock sculptures found In Different
parts OF Ohio, thinks them indicative
OF something higher than the present
symbolical or picture writing OF the
Indians. He finds that they have
many characters in common with the
Oriental sign writing or hieroQly6hic
alphabet, and specially notes the re-
semblance to a bird-traek character
which was used BY the Chinese IN