Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-12-21
arieties.

CowrER versihed canary.
HOMER wrote epics on frogs.
PORE twanged his Tyre about lady's
fan.
WHEN is young lady very like a
whale? When she's pouting.
WHAT fruit does newly married
couple mostly resemble? A green pear
AN Indianapolis lady advertises for
sealed proposals for marriage"
The most popular visitor to the print
ing office just now is the ''man who shuts
| the door,
A TRAVELLER who has just returned
from England says the fist thing he
missed on arriving in London vas his
| shadow.
A TERRE IIAurE girl exclaimed, when
she saw IL Thomas feline elevate his
back: "Oh wouldn't he make love-
ly hustle p
SIR Thomas Brown says: "Sleep is
deaths younger brother, and so like
him that never dare trust him without
saying my prayers"
"CoME, go to bed, Freddie; you see it
is ssundown, and the little chickens all
90 to roost at that time" "1es, mann
ma, but the old hen goes with them"
A rurlI. in one of the public schools
recently revised an old saying found in
his grammar, us follows: sit is better
to give than to receive-a good Gcking.'
con, my dear, there is a mos. lovely
set-pin, earrings, and sleeve buttons
Do 90 buy them |" Yes, my dear, |
mean TO 90 by them as fast as possible |"
"How DOES that look, eh ?" said big
fisted Wall street man to n friend, hold
ing up one of his brawny hands. "That."
said the friend, 'losks as though you'd
gone short on your soap"
A YOUNG man who went West from
Danbury, Il few months ago, has sent
one letter home. 1t came Friday. 1t
said ",Scad nc 0ig." And his fond
parents don't know whether he Is
scalped or married Danbury Ners.
"VAKIErY weddines' have been in.
troduccd into Rhode Island. They take
the place of wooden, tin, or crystal we'd
dings, the happy couple receivinga a va
riety of presents instead of having them
all Of one material.
THE Tituvile Press says: "There is
one Young lady in town who ate oyeters
all through the month of August when
she could get them, under the supposi-
ton that there was an "r' IN that
month" "Orgust" was the way she
spelled it.
The father of boy whose veracity is
not SO marked us his back, asked the
teacher why it was his son didn't havea
better acquaintance with figures, and was
considerably electrified when the teach
er tenderly observed, 81 really don't
know, unless it is because figures would
not lic.''
TIE Evansville journal says: 1t ap-
pears to be the style for ladies to wear
exaggerated neckties around their waists
with the bow dangling down the skirt.
A little boy seeiug one OF these arrange.
ments on Main street yesterday called
out to he wearer: "Say, mum, yer
sursingle's comm OFF, A scorniul
look was his only reward.
SOME one was talking to Thackeray OF
a certain gentlcman's strange addiction
to beer. "It's a great pity" sald he,
'sthat he does not keep Il check rein on
himself, for he is marvellous fellow
otberwise-I mean for talent. | hardly
know his eaual.n Yes" retorted
Thackeray, ",ake him for half,and'halt,
we ne'cr shall look upon his like again"
A YOUNG man from Kentucky, who un'
dertooll to open country store III 'ne
to
speedv ruin because he was "too nlppy
for that region. He wore stcVe-pipe
hat. had his boots BACKED every day,
and mounted fresh paper collar every
morning, all of which served to disgust
the natives, who said he put on 100
much Kentucky blue grass society style
for them.
A srABLE-BoY, well-known in Love
Lane. Brooklyn, went to his employer
last Thursday and after blowing num-
her of sonorous blasts on his nasal bugle
to indicate that he had severe cold la
the head, exclaimed: "By golly, boss,
dis chile can't 80 near de hosses no
more. believe now, for de Lor, Use
rot de hoss d.easer' "Jake, you're
fool r1 exclaimed his employer "Asses
are not subject to that disorder.
A RECENT law has been enacted by the
LEGISLATURE of Kentucky which provides
that, on the affidavit of two respectable
citizens, any person who, through eX'
cessiye use Of arsenic, opium, hasheesh,
or any other drug, has become incapable
of managing his affairs or controlling
his actions, shall be placed under guar
dianship and in an asylum, ss in the
case of habitual drunkards or lunatlcs.
This policy is both wise and humane.
1t affords the unhappy victim OF dis'
eased appetite time to recover. when
men or women demonstrate their inca
pacity TO act for themselves, they be,
come the wards of society, which should
provide for their wants.
NUMEROUS instances of exalted hero
ism occurred during the Boston hre;
Here is one: A brave fellow crowded
into cellar and let off the steam from
three over. heated boilers. which threat
ened every instant to explode. 1t was
so hot that his comrades kept swo
streams of water plying on HIM wniie
! he was performing this dangerous outy.