Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-07-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


among families.
ONE of the rarest and most pleasing of
flowers is the pink of politeness.
CANADA musters 43, 900 militia and has
a reserve force of near $1,000.
RHEUMATISM is sometimes joint af-
fair, and yet there is only one party to
Y,
AN able-bodied citizen of Terre Haute,
Ind, forty years Of age, has never been
inside church.
In setting up an account of a six-oared
boat race, the compositor made it SIX
cared goat race.
WHAT physician stands at the top of
his profession.-The gentleman who at
tends patients on a monument"
In the recent trial of Du Bourg, in
Paris, for the murder of his wife, all
the bachelors on the jury were chal-
lenged.
A FOREIGN medical journal remarks
that the most warlike nation IN modern
times is vaccination, because it is almost
always in arms.
In June last there were G, zoe, 900 sheep
in Scotland, 4, SOC, 900 of which were on
regular mountain sheep farms; the re-
mainder on arabic lands.
HE Illle W DOSStSS NOuI cOul pa
tience is when your hat blows off in the
street and your eyes are too full OF dirt to
see which way it goes.
"I'D rather not take a horn with you,"
said the loafer to the mad bull /; but the
bull insisted on treating him to two, and
the loafer got quite high.
A DANBURY man feels so mortified over
the reflection that his children are not
II atnR f<Nr -ay,tT Of
SUITE BILE clothes, that he spends every Sab
faithful dog, which wears five dollar
collar.
"Do you mean to say" said a traveller
to a Western Sheriff, "that man was
shot here yesterday because he was caught
in the act of carrying off a rope ~
Yes" quietly answered the Sheriff,
"but there was a horse at the end of the
rope"
CHEMsT-Well, here's the two
draughts. This ones for your good man,
and the others for the COW. If you
haven't money enough to paw for both,
you had better take one. Wife-Well,
well, as you say so think I'd perhaps
better take the bottle for the COW.
THE father of boy whose veracity is
not so marked as his back, asked the
teacher why his son didn't have a better
acquaintance with figures, and was con-
siderably electrified when the teacher ten
derby observed, 81 really don't know,
without it's because figures won't lie."
THE idea of reclaiming the Colorado
desert by means of artesian wells, has
been broached. 1t is thought that large
subterranean stream runs under the des-
ert, and that all that is necessary is to
bore deep enough to strike it. Congress
will be applied to for a grant as a recon-
pense for boring these wells.
THE assertion that lady puts the es-
sence, nay, the very purpose and import
of her letter in the postscript, has had
many an ingenious but invented illustra
tion. One of the best is that of young
lady in China to her friends at home, viz:
"P. S.-You will see by the signature that
am married"
WASHINGTON has handsome hermit of
some forty years, named John Burch,
who has not left his own house and yard
for twenty years, so intently has he de-
voted his time to the attempt to invent
perpetual motion. The outer world is all
a blank to him. He does not know any
thing about politics or current news, the
telegraph or the railroad.
A WRITER in Tile Field states, as a very
curious fact, that hen, after Matching
out two ducklings from eggs placed under
her for that purpose, and attempting in
vain to induce them to come out from the
water, to which they had Immediately be-
taken themselves, herself swan in after
them, and pushing them before her, ac-
tually forced them to the land.
In Japan the marriage ceremony is
very simple. A man and a woman drink
from the same cup, and the thing is done.
Divorce is not a much more elaborate
affair The husband who is dissatisfied
with his wife gives her piece of paper
on which a few characters are traced.
Being translated, they are about as fol-
lows 81 no likee you. / thinkee you
likee other man more better. give you
piece a paper. You can go. Goodee-
bye"
MIR. CHARLES NoRDHoFF writes as
follows from Viaslia, Cal, to the New
York Tribune: "They showed me man,
down here, who refused, some years ago,
to let the telegraph wires pass over his |
farm. He didn't want the whole coun |
try to know every time he whipped his |
children, he said and when it was ex-
planned to him that the wires did not of
themselves take cognizance of passing |
events, he replied We'll, anyhow, he'd |
always hearn that it killed corn"
A BOY of Chicago wrote the following |
appeal to the Mavor of that city "About |
Fire-crackers. From boy That is Ter |
ribly Disappointed. To the Mayor of
Chicago. Here, Sirius boys W ould like
to know why you want to Stop us from
firing Fire crackers. / should think you
could let us in large lot. think if you
hOx fl-x lrn To fro
off Fire-crackers. Us boys are terribly
so please put it in the pa
pers that we can fire off Fire crackers.
we would be so happy if you would"
THE most faithful lover who has
lives in Danbury The parents of the |
young lady are opposed to his compan-
ionship, but that don't make him proud. |
Sometimes the old gentleman reaches him |
with his boot before he can get over the
fence, but the young man don't lay up i'll |
feelings on account of that; he only |
smiles at the despoiler of his pants when |
he meets him, and calls il 'heaping Goals |
of fire on his head" Saturday evening |
he thought he would get up surprise for |
the old chap. Heput paving stone in each
of his coat tail pockets, and started for |
the fence as usual. The old man let out |
for him with increased enthusiasm, and |
caught him-caught him good. Then he |
laid down on the grass and said: II die |
by the hand of an assassin" But the |
young man passed on without word, |
and smiles the most heavenly smile of |
forgiveness ever seen on the street.
A LONDON paper says: A curious scene |
was witnessed early on Wednesday morn
ing in Hyde Park. A man named Small, |
living in Chelsea, went to bathe in the |
Serpentine, taking with him monkey,
which he is in the habit of carrying |
about. Having undressed, he placed the |
monkey on his shoulder, secured by a
chain to his neck, and waded into the |
river. As soon as the animal felt the |
water touch his tail he became terrified, |
and struggled to escape, nearly strang- |
ling its master in its efforts, and event |
ually causing both to sink. On coming |
up again the struggles of the man and |
the monkey to get free from each other |
attracted q tho attoptiOr nf Green pf 1