Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1872-02-01
". O. WALLACE, .
A Present for Grant.
A Western Gentleman by the name
of Jones Presents general Grant
with Stuffed Goose.

We find the following in the
! Washington Capital, Dom Piatt'l
PAPER: Jones, who is an observ
ant gentleman, found himself
questioned upon the Pennsylvania
Patent Screw and Anger line of
street cars by a man from the in
terror of somewhere. He Is a tall
raw-boned specimen of humanity
costumed in the middle ages of
the West-that is, says Jones, al
a middle aged gentleman in In
diana, for example, gets up hi.
wedding apparel. This middle
aged man was accompanied by hi
wife and two daughters. and ht
asked our friend where the PreSi
dents house was.
"On Pennsylvania Avenue" re
sponded our friend.
whats the number 2" demand
ed Western innocence.
/ at has no number"
/ "No number ?" gaspcd the
querist.
"None whatever. 1t is the
high privilege of the President moi
to be numbered. He is not liable
to number or grade. He is the
only man except Mullet who is
above the board of public works.
If the board were TO order the
Presidents house numbered, OF
begin digging about, the President
would rise to a question of privi.
lege, and then the board would be
in a devil of fix"
,"You don't say so? What would
they do about it, do you suppose?'
Il can't say precisely; we nev-
er had a precedent, but more than
probable the board would be split
into kindling wood"
"Poor devil ! Well, stranger, l
want to see the President"
"Do you want an office 2? If
you do, you must see Conkling."
Don't want no Office"
"Do you want an order on the
New York Custom House for q
job?"
Don't want that neither.
What l want is g little secret be-
tween Polly and me-Polly's my
wife"
ooh"
eyes, and it's a pretty big thing
I can tell you"
"WeH, | have no wish to pry
into family secrets. l will point
out the house when we reach it
1t stands back in yard, with 9
scarecrow in front to keep the
ottce-seekers from stealing the
Presidents garden sass. You &C
to the front door and ring-no
kick on it, and a man will open it,
That is not the President but he
will show you up to room where
YOU will find a small man attached
to a big nose. That is not the
President, although he thinks he
is. Nosey will ask you for q
card. Don't give him a, deck; !, be
only wants your name on a slip
of paper to show TO the President
Then nosey will say, sit down.
You needn't be in a hurry to dc
that you'll have plenty of time
After an hour Nosey will tell you
that the President is seeing Sena
tors. If you look sharp you can
see them. They will come with
their ebenezers elevated as if they
smelled bad smell. Then you'll Il
be told at the end of an hour that
the President is seeing members
/ of the House. Then you'll be
told the cabinet is in session--tC
come again next day. The next
day you'll be put through the
same performance, and the next
and so on for a week, and then
the door will be thrown open and
you will have the privilege of
seeing his excellcncy smoke and
not say a word for ten minutes.
''Great thunder! Polly, let u'
take our present and go home"
Present! you don't mean tc
say you have a present for The
! Presideut?"
ayes, we have. Fact is we have
a stuffed goose-the biggest goose
that ever walked. It's perfec
nat'ral curiosity, that goose, ant
Polly and | determined to fetcl
that goose and our daughters Oh
and give it to the President"
"No express charge on it"
"Not a charge; there it is, tn
biggest nat'ral curiosity of
goose
"My friend, kick at the from
door say Present for the Pres
dent and you'll see him in thre
minutes, and before you can &c