Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-06-27

Mr.. T.-Hold your clatter. I tell
you, you shan't bring odium upon the
family by your disgraceful attempts
to skate, sprawling around with your
big feet like a cow plowing her way
down hill in slippery weather. [Shows
how. Maybe you wouldn't be SO
handy about displaying those feet of
yours if you knew what occurred
when took your shoes down to get
EN- mended.
Mrs. T.-What was it? Tell me
what it was? Tell me this minute |!
l lust know it's one Of your lies
-Ar. T.-Oh, don't mind; it amt
OF any consequence, 60 to bed.
Mrs. T.-But it is Of consequence.
You have got to tell me; you sham t
aggravate me in this way; won /
90 to bed till know what it was.
Mr.. T.-Oh, it wasn't t any thing.
Mrs. TT know better! You're
just doing this to drive me to dis
traction. What did that shoemaker
say about my shoe? What did he
do? Quick Bristling up to him
with clenched hands.
Mr.. T.-Well, if you must know,
he-he-however, it is Of no conse-
quence.
Mrs. T.-Mr. Twain Shaking her
fist in his face.
Mr.. T.-Well, he took it and gazedl
on it a long time in silence, and then
burst into tears. (Shows how.)
Mrs. T.-Why, you born fool
Twain, are you going stark, staring
crazy?
Mr.. TIE just stood there and
wept as if his heart would break,
poor devil There, now let's go to
bed.
Mrs. T.-Bsd, you lunaticl I'll
never close my eyes till / know what
that idiot was crying about-and you
wont either, I can tell you that.
Come
MIR. T.-Oh, it don't matter.
Mrs. T-Mr. Twain, if you say
that again, I'll make you sorry Tor it.
What was thatnumskull crying about?
Mr.. T.-W-e-l-l, he, he
Mrs. T.-W-e-l-l, he. Out with it.
Do you want me to-to-Twain? Ill
snatch them pet ear-locks off till the
side of your heads as bald.as the top
of my hand.
Mrs. T.-Well, he-poor fellow, he
fairly dotted on his grandmother-
fairy dotted on her. She Lad nursed
him, you know, because his mother
was so tseble, and so-well, he cam.
to this country fifteen years ago, and
first he set up i'll the vegetable line,
and got along pretty we'll, and was
about to send to England 20 the old
lady, when hard times came and he
90. broke. He went into fruit then
and after that into milk-into all
sorts of things, you know but he
got disappointed every time, till this
Sresent business fetched out all right
and he sent right off for the old wo-
man. She landed here four weeAs
ago, but died the same night. 1t was
hard after all his waiting and toilins
for fifteen years, to get her over al
last and have her die on his hands
He--he-well, he was disgusted
However, he laid her out, and he anc
his friends sat up with her, and BY
and by the memories of her virtue
softened his bitterness and turned i
into tender grief-a settled melan
choly that hung about his spirit lik'
a pail for many days. However, BY
patiently striving to keep sad thought
out of his mind he was finally begin
ming to regain some of his old-tim'
cheerfullness, when your shoe re
minded him so painfully of his poor
sainted grandmother's coffin
Mrs. T.-That. you brute. (slap
his face.1 And if.you dare to com
back here again I'll kick you ou
again. you degraded old ru&an oq
of the house with you! exit, lead
ing Marx out by the ear.)
sE1e-ToRMENr.M More than hal
Of this world is aeE-aficted. Peopl
raise evil spirits-vulge blue devils,
and imaginary evils. till they lasl
=, 80 ;nto bona fide despair. @