Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1872-07-30
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NASBY.
Good Democrat Gone-EldeP Pennibacker's
Death-NhAt Killed Him.
From the Toledo Blade
CoNFEDRIr X ROADS D
IWInL L. Ill. IL. IN. I'll !.

Elder Pennibacker wuz a native Nv
Kentucky indeed no other State
Good hev perdoost SIGH q man. He
wu7 born in the very house in witch
be died. or rather he died in what
wuz left Nv it. 1t he'd bin large
house wunst, but when Linkin eman-
sipated the nIggers, and the Elder
and his six sons wuz deprived Nv Lac
Dor, they found it impossible to git
tire-wood. After tho rail fences wuz
gone they commenced on the house,
aud he'd yoosed it all up but four
rooms.
The death Nv this good man is doc
to the Greeley movement lie never
WIZ capable Nv understands it, and
at first refoozed to yield to ii. lie
refoozed to buy one Nv the white
hats witch l brot back from Cncin-
natl, and B2scom wuz forst to take
stern measures with him, Mary
drink, Elder, till it goes under that
hat !" Tha: fetched him. He put it
| on.
"What do we want to take up
Greeley for ?" he asked.
ITO beat Grant with - | answer
ed.
"Why not take up Grant to beat
Greeley with ?" replied this honest
tho obtoose, old man, to witch | did mt
say word, fndin an answer some
wat difficult.
He accepted Greeley, however, tho
it wuz mostly becoz we insisted on it
but he did it in dazed sort nv
way, and wuz never hisself after
ward. He deliberately cut down
two hickories witch be he'd in front
Nv his house, and be spent the most
of his time spellin out articles in an
old copy of the Tri6oon
I'm a dimocrat," said he, sadly,
with puzzled look, "and find, ak
kording to my candidate fur Presi-
dent, that I'm hoss-thief, liar,
perjerd villln, slum, harlot, and
that I'm bought with British gold.
| amt harlot, and never wuz, and
eff I've bin bought with British gold,
where's the gold 2? Good Hevins! l
shell go mad"
And the wretchid old saint, who
was afflicted with mind witch
wuz'nt calkelated TO grasp the suit.
tleties of modern politix, wood rush
out ov his house into the field, and
calm hisself by cummunin with mach
err.
Last Toosday we ratified. He
kerried torch and he'd white hat,
but he actid in a very eccentric man.
ner. He didn't keep in line, and wuz
constantly murmurin to himself, 81
amt a harlot-I amt a barlot, and |
never wuz."
1t wuz ez | feared. Wednesday
mornin he wuz unable to rise from
his bed, and | went to see him. His
mind wuz wanderin. In his deleri-
um he asked me to pay him nine dol
lars and halt wich | borrowed Nv
bin five yeers ago. [ wuz satisfied
from this that he wuz failin. | gave
him little likker in a spoon, witch
brot him to hisself.
"Parson," sed he, somewhere I've
read an anecdote Nv a man witch wuz
drunk, and WITCH. leanin up again a
tree, vomited. While he wuz con-
templatin the elected contents Nv his
stumick, little dog came snuff n
around, and the man saw him, and
wuz amazed. Thunder he remark.
ed, i know where | ate them crack
ers, | member With utmost 's.inct-
ness where got that bOlony sass
age, but d-n me ell know where |
ate that dog Parson, I'm in the
same fix, l hev taken the Cincinnati
emetic and its worked. l know
where | got my free-trade, remem-
Der distinkly when | swallowed
State rites, but I'm id eff | know
where | took in that Greeley pup,
with an Ablishn head and high pro-
tective tariff tail. Parson, it's too
much" And the good old man bur-
ried his head in the kivrin and wept
vociferous.
l left him, but | returned in the
afternoon. | found him worse than
ever. He had deliberately gone to
the closet and taken out banner
witch he had proudly carried the
year afore, witch represented Greeley
embracin niger woman witch
weighed 200 lbs, and he'd torn that
banner from the supportin frame,
and wrapped hisselfin it. He he'd
destroyed all the notices witch we
yoosed 0 carry, ouch ez mo niger
supremacy" White men shell rool
Ameriky." and SIGH, remarkin, ez
he regarded the wreck Nv em, IL
shell die, parson, but | thot best to
leave nothin behind that wood en-
barrass goo" | took occasion TO
hint that be he'd better add that note
Nv hand Nv mine TO the rooms, and
he sed sadly that it wood be ez well.
at amt with no more than the rest"
he remarkt.
He got into bed agin and sunk in
to troubled slumber. In about an
hour, be awoke, when his dimmed
eye happened to rest onto the white
hat Nv mine, witch / he'd hung onto
the bed-post. He riz up in bed, hold.
10 his hands afore his eyes ez eff to
shet out some horrid vision, and, |
shreekin violently, sunk back q
corpse.
Thus died Elder Pennihacker, one
Nv my first friends at the Corners.
He wuz stanch and stoopid. He |
wuz bleever in States rites, in Ham
and Hsger, and in Democracy. He
died from severe attack NV suppos-
in Horris Greeley to be ez honest ez
be wuz himself. He woodent turn
Ablishuist for no offs, and be spozed |
that Horris wuz still the same old |
heather that he alluz wuz. He blew
ed that Horris he'd swallered the !
Democratic party, and do wat | Good,
l Good Tot make him understand |
that the Dimocratic party bed SLAYER
ed Horris over with the Presidency