The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1872-04-09

"From Richard Brownsmith, Police
station G, North Willis, to Augustt
Brownsmith, Sunny Villa, Sandstone
DEAREsT-1 am taken up wrongly or
suspicion. Come at once. Bring vical
tof parish to prove my identity"
In an hours time, grim policeman
handed me the following telegram in re-
ply:
"EDwARD-I am not so easily taken
in by your dodge. Come home; take
me to the seaside; then all forgiven"
Now, l never before, in my recollec:
ton, swore at mar or woman but | am
afraid that my mouth did form what;
suppose, the sapient concoctors of the
new "Public School Latin Primer
would term monosyllabic dental word,
terminating with the stem N; and they
would probably further describe il as a
transitive verb. Thank goodness, nv
wife cannot understand all that!
Depict the utter wretchedness of that
night l spent locked up in my cell Be.
fore post-but subject to police inspec-
ton, and, l believe, also, police COPY
wrote most humble, imploring letter to
my wife. Goodness knows what amount
of dirt did eat in that epis,le Next
morning, about twelve o'clock, I was
had up before the magistrates. Every
thing that you already know was brought
up against me; and, moreover, it was
sworn thrt Jabez Cough, dressed as l
was, had left Sandstone station dressed
in the very clothes l had on, had knife
and ticket such as were found on me-
My telegram and it's answer were
brought forward as condemning evil
dence. 1t was stated that the reply was
supposed to be from an accomplice, and
in cypher, and remand was asked for.
| was remanded. One or two of the
magistrates seemed slightly to hesitate
but, really, my slangy dress, my worn
and harrassed appearance, and circum-
stances in general, were so much against
me, that l was not surprised at what
happened Before the court was up,
was again put into the dock before the
Bench. To my glad surprise, I-saw,
about to come into the witness box, my
wife, the clergyman of my parish, and
two Somersetshire magistrates, one of
whom, as afterwards appeared, was
known to some members Of the North
Willis bench at c.. Quickly it was
proven to the semi-omniscient eye Of all
searching, unpaid justice, that l was
what am ,and not the notorious forging
malefactor, Jabez Cough, who had so
many other aliases that l dare not at.
tempt to pick out his real name.
The meeting with my wife and friends !;
the respectful but not at all servile apol-
ogy of the policemen, my late guardi.
ans; the dinner with some of the magis-
trates who had sat in Judgment on me !;
the journey home next day; the unceas-
ing banter which everywhere encoun-
tered, and the awful curtain lectures
from my wife, I pass over and leave to
the imagination of my readers, though
to me they were stern realities. All l
can say is, that if there are MANY wives
who possess the twenty Caudle horse-I
beg pardon, twenty Caudle mare power
THAT Mrs. Brownsmith is gifted with, /
am surprised that there are not more
suicides per annum than the Registrar
General would have us believe. or
course 1 had to take Mrs B. to the sea-
side She put on the inexpressib.es
there, and has worn them ever since-to
the great misfortune Of her henpecked
husband. 1 hear her gentle voice call.
ing me to roll the grass plot. It's har d
work, but
Coming, my dear. o.m-i-n-g!"