The Van Buren press., 1872-04-16

Iguess hot, they are a kritter who
won't bear examining with microscope.
They are butiful beings, but oh how
deceptive.
Their habits are phcw, but unique.
They are called pole kats because it IL
no. konvenient tew kill them with klub
but with pole, and the longer the pole
the more konvenient. esr ft
"a Writers on natural history disagree
about the rite length ov the pole tew be
used, but wood suggest that the pole be
about 365 feet, ssprshiIy IL the wind IL
iD favor ov fhe pole kat
When pole kat is suddenly walloped
with long pole, the fust thing that he,
I'll, or it duz, is tsw embam the air for
menny miles in diameter, with an akri-
monius aliaktory' rcfrcshment which
permeates the ETHEREAL fluid with an en-
tirely original smell - t.f'f w
"A pole kat win remuve the filling from
shsu egg, without brsking a hole in the
sheA bigger than a marrow fat pea
AoW this is did, historians hav left us
in deut.
This 10 vulgsrly kalled "surking
Pyls-kass also deal in chickens, yung
turkey, and yung goslins
They won't tutch an old goose. they
arcsound ontllat question. @eGs
. Maniz che only phelow who Will at
tempt tew blight into an old goose, and
teeth ay oph CRATE menny times before
he looscns ennyAov the mete
"a pole kat travels under an alias,
wllich,is kalled skunk, There is.a crate
,nenny abuses that there is no ackount
iag for, and this IL ons ov them.
hav kaught skunks in trap. They
are easier. to git into trap than to gil
out ev it. sfsefh '.EIe Fff
eIn taking them ont oy trap, CRATE
Judgment must be had not tew shake
them up; the more yu shake them upthe
more ambrosial they am.
One pole kat in a township IL enaT, cs'
peshily If the wind changes wunce in a
while. I Hs
A pole kat skin IL wuth dollars in
market, after it il skinned, but it iz wuth
8 dollars and so cents tew skin him.
'kxrcDDrE OF A DoG,-A narrow log
lay 'na bridge over deep ravine. From
the opposite ends OF tho logs. at the same
moment, there started to cross 1t q big
Newfoundland dog and little Italian
greyhound; Of course they met in the
middle !; of course there was not room
for them TO pass, neither could they go
gack The hight was dangerous Que
FOR the greyhound, and to the water at
the bottom he was extremely averse. Tho
Newfoundland could have taken the leap
in safety, but evidently did not want to.
There was fix. The little dog sat
down ON his haunches, stuck his nose
straight up in The air. and howled. The
Newfoundland stood intent, his face sol
emn with inward workings. Presently
he gave q nudge with his nose to the
bowling greyhound, as il to say, "Be
stiA, youngster, and listen v Then there
was 4 silence and seeming confabulation
for second or tive. Immediately the
bigdsg spread his legs vile apart like
colossus, bestriding the log on It's ex
treme outer edges, and balanced himself
carefully. The little dog sprang through
the opening like fash When they
reached the opposite shores. the grey
hound proke into frantic gambols of de
light, and the Newfoundland, after bis
more sedate fashion, expressed grea,
complaceney in his achievement-as he
surely had a right to do. .rya
Tax ispiAN's DREAM When the In,
dian went to see the white man, he staid
With him all night In the morning he
says to the white man:
me have dream last night.
"Ah, what was it?"
"Me dream you gave me your gray
mare, and that you gave me rifle; that
YOU gave me much powder, much ball,
much shot
Ibid you indeed What dream
ayes, me dream il all p"
fWeIl, that's bad, for my wife Away 4
rides the gray mare, and she thinks she
can't ride any ,thcr horse; but if you
dreamed it, why, l suppose you mus,
have her. And my old rife, too my
old dfavorite riae--dream gave you that
too2' sr a
Eyes me, dream rifle toos"
sWeil, II you dreamed it, why sup
pose you must take that, too; but it il
very singular. !" 4 ,ess ~
So the white man gave them all into
the Indians possession but persuaded
him to tarry with him one night more
In the morning the white man says to
the Iudian , \,
III had a dream last night.
mo! did your
.sYes, but I did though; I dreamed
that you gave me all the land betwce,
Poninnket river and Catapunch noun
tain'--abont three thousand acres Of tht
most beautiful land Imaginable.
".Oh! Bones Of my father! Well, Il
YOU dreamed il. why, 1 suppose You mus
b I'VE the iand--but me never dream witt
you any more. sssi W. aa'sa tr
- tits all very we'll to say: "Tak,
things o. they come" bu! suppose the,
don't come? IS .
~ We know OF young man who
10 50 sensitive to dunning that he can
bear, ~ aes 81 crowd collect in III,
stretts.ssslsnssla l@piisgtet isaa Iron
EStsW'hy isa young lady for.skcn b.
her lover like . deadly weapon? BE
cause she 10 cullass.
~ The editor OF q contemporar,
writes that {. the woman who has smooth
81 bis rum Il bosom Tor years called te
sAy che c0ul'l nutdo Il hereafter undel