American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-05-18
The Great Gift-Taker-An Admirer
from the Country Presents Him
with a Stuffed Goose.

JONES, who is an observant gentleman,
found himself questioned upon the Penn
sylvania Patent Screw and Anger line of
cars by man from the interior of some
where. He was tall, raw-boned speci-
men of humanity, costumed in the middle
ages of the West-that is, says Jones, as a
middle-aged gentleman in Indiana, for
example, gets up his wedding apparel
This middle-aged man was accompanied
by his wife and two daughters, and he
asked our friend where the President
house was.
''On Pennsylvania Avenue" responded
our friend.
whats the numbers" demanded irno-
cence.
TT has no number"
''No NUMBER" gasped the querist.
"None whatever. 1t is the high privi-
lege of the President not to be numbered.
He is not liable to number or grade. He
is the only man except Mullet who is
above the Board of Public Works. If
the Board were to order the Presidents
house numbered, or begin digging about,
the President would rise to a question of
privilege, and then the Board would be
in a fix"
"You don't say 500 What would they
do to it, do you suppose?"
81 can't say precisely; we never had a
precedent, but more than probable the
Board would be split into kindling wood :"
- poor thing! Well, stranger, want to
see the President"
DO you want an office? If you do,
you must see Conkling"
"Don't want no office"
Do you want an order on the New
York Custom House for job?"
"Don't want that, neither. What 1
want is a little secret between Polly and
me-Polly's my wife"
:" Yes, it's putty big thing, l can tell
you"
"Well, have no wish to pry into fam
when we reach it. 1t Stando back in a
yard, with a scarecrow in front to keep
the office-seekers from the Presidents
garden-sass. You go to the front door
and ring-nO, kick on it, and man will
open it. That is not the President; but
he will show you up to small room
where there is a small man attached to a
big nose. That is not the President, al
though he thinks he is. Nosey will ask
he only wants your name on slip of pa
per to send to the President Then Nosey
will say, sit down You needn't be in a
hurry to do that; you'll have plenty of
time. After an hour, Nosey will tell you
that the President is seeing Senators. If
you look sharp you can see them. 1hey
will come in with their ebenezers elevated
as if they smelled bad smell. Then
you'll be told the Cabinet is in session
to come again next day. The next day
you will be put through the same perform
ance, and the next, and SO on for a week,
and then the door will be thrown open
and you will have the privilege of seeing
his excellcncy smoke and say nothing for
ten minutes.
"Great thunderl Polly, let us take our
present and go home"
present ! you don't mean to say you
have present for the President ?"
Eyes, we have. Fact Is we have
stuffed goose-the biggest goose that ever
walked. Its a perfect natural curiosity,
that goose, and Polly and determined to
fetch that goose and our daughters on and
give it to the President"
"No express charges on it ?"
Not charge; there it is, the biggest
nat'ral curiosity of a goose"
my friend, kick at the front door; say
present for the President and you'll see
him in three minutes, and before you can
get home, you'll be postmaster"
Jones saw the little family and big
goose disappear IN at the White House;
although the Star informs us that the
President received that day, no mention
is made of that goose Washington Capital.