Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1872-02-08
ODDS AND ENDS.

The ladies of Washington wear stove
pipe hats.
A pleasant mill privilege-kissing a
factory girl.
Guilty of revolutionary movements
Organ grinders.
Purity is the feminine, truth the mas
culine, of honor.
What fish has its eyes nearest togeth-
er? The smallest } n..7
Applicable to an Angel-what on
earth are you doing?
How to make time go fast-Use the
spur of the moment.
What route should cooks take in go
ing West? Panhandle.
Never put off till tomorrow what
you did the week before last.
A Legitimate Inference-that dent
its's office is drawing-room.
There is man doing business in Chi
cago whose name is C. Nobody.
Why is drunkard like bad account?
Because he generally overbalances.
When is clock like discontented
workman? When it is on strike.
A hundred cents make dollar, but
million dollars won't make good sense.
Why is the road of transgressors so
hard? Because it is so much travelled.
A noble heart, like the sun, shows its
greatest countenances in its lowest es-
tate.
we parted by the river side,' as the
sorrowing man said after drowning his
wife. -.-. .--i-
A boy who undertook to ride a horse
radish is now praetieing on saddle of
mutton. eN ass HS.ftq>
What is that which no one wishes to
have and no one wishes TO lose? A
bald head.
A handful of cayenne pepper in each
boot will keep your feet nice and warm
this winter.
Why is prudent man like a pin?
Because his head prevents him from go
ing too far.
A dandy in love IL in just az bad fix
az stick of molassis handy that haz be-
gun tew melt. H..-'
Why is caterpillar like loaf of'hot
bread? Because its 4 grub that makes
the butter fly.
How easy to beggar a shoemaker.
Purloin one of his instruments, and you
take away his awl.
A man out West has accustomed him.
self to lying, so that he cannot tell the
truth without lying.
If man loses his breath, it is of no
use to run for it. He can catch it quick
er by standing still.
Why will folks pay so much for rent
when they can get house maid for
three or four dollars.
Why might carpenters really believe
there is no such thing as stone? Be-
cause they never saw it.
Mrs. Partington says she does wish
they would hurry up and pass the sill
l.
If Burns were living now, he would
tell the man that wants TO see himself
as others see him, to run for Office.
Mrs. Gubbins says her husband is ex-
actly like a tallow candle, because he
always will smoke when he is going
out.
Handling currency is fruitful agen-
cy for the spread of smallpox. That's
why so few printers suffer from the dis
ease.
At twenty-five we kill pleasure, at
thirty we enjoy it, forty, we husband ir
at fifty we hunt after it, at sixty We re-
gret it.
The minister who divides his dis
courses into too many heads will find it
difficult to procure attentive ears for all
of them.
Little boys at Rockford, ILL.,, break
through the ice and the citizens fish
them out and warm them with bits of
scantling.
A new counterfeit fifty cent note has
appeared in the eities,and of course will
come out in the country. 1t is way
they have. ...-
Owing to the high price of rent in
New York, the New York Herald's At
rican correspondent has moved to
Brooklyn.
Great Britain last year consumed
forty-two million pounds of tobacco, or
a pound and half for each one of the
population.
A mans wife is his best lawyer, his
best counsel, his best judge, his best ad-
wiser, and also the cheapest and most
reasonable.
A drunkard said that he did not con-
slider himself obliged to keep his pledge,
because when he took it there was no
stamp affixed.
An old lady thinks the Bonds must be
family of strong religious instincts,
because she hears so many of them be-
ing converted.
Politeness is the outward garment of
good will; but many are the nutshells in
which,if you crack them, nothing like
kernel is to be found.
Mr.. Brown, owe you grudge; re-
member thatr Il shall not be frighten-
ened, then; for never knew you to
pay anything that you owed
Brevity is in writing what charity rs
to all the other virtues. Righteous
ness is worth nothing without the one
nor authorship with the other.
1t is said that if you take two letters
from money, there will be one left. We
have heard of man who took money
from two letters, and there wasn't any
left. i1
An easy way of openness and candor
agrees with all humors; and he that Is
ever solicitous to conceal a defect, often
does as much as to make proclamation
of it.