Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-06-11
FOOLING 4 TEBTOTALER.
LeIand's Practical Yoke on Horace
Greeley.

I
LeIand's Practical Yoke on Horace
Greeley.
The laying Of the Atlantic cable was cele-
brated by a dinner in the Metropolitan
Hotel. Many old New York merchants,
who had been farmers and country me-
| chanics in their boyhOod days, were among
the guests. One of the latter WIS Horace
Greeley, who occupied a seabnear the pre-
| siding officer. Many Of the old merchants
appeared with old steel watehsguards and
antiquated sWaliow-tail coats. Mr.. Gree
! ley wore his usual claW-hammer. The
merchants did not understand the French
bill Of fare, and without waiting for the reg
ular course, many ofthsm ordered the wait
ers to bring up teefsteak. Mr. Greeley
followed suit. When the wine was brought
on the majority Of tie company drank free
ly. Mr.. Greeley placed his hand over his
glass and refused TO accept wine, saying
that be drank only water. Vs3 III
Warren Leland, the proprietor o. the
hotel, felt much chagrined at Mr. Greeley's
action. He went "a. him and said: '.NOT,
look here, Horace, this is not treating your
old neighbor right. You and have been
farmers for years together. Y on have Dor
roWed my harrow, and l have borrowed
your plow. Wbea+I wanted a seyihe 1
went to your place and borrowed it. II you
run CIT Of com my barn was always open
to you. Here il is The first time that you
have ever been in my house, and think
that neighborly feeling ought to require
that you should take little something and
not drink cold water 8ala zar1 aitsr
"NOw, Warren answered MIR Greeley,
''there's no use Of talking, never drank q
drop Of spirituOus liquors since j signed the
pledge in 1922, and / shall never drink q.
drop. III was going to drink a glass OF
rum / would just as sOOa driHk-Withyou as
any -oiher man. Bat Ieal't do il, now go
away and let me alone' t.t .r
Warren grew red in the face. "BIr.
Greeley" he said, ''this is not treating me
right. Here, have kept hotel in New
Y ork city for nearly twenty years, and the
first time you have come inSO il YOU refuse
to drink my health.p - \
'No, L don't,n replied Horace; II viii
drink your health with great Pleasure
raising bis glass ofWa.er, aI T
'sNOt in water" answered Warner; shat
is rot the fluid to drink mans health in.
i insist that you sllaH lei me mix you
drink. will mix il with my own hands.
/ can assure you shat no Hlanin New York
understands mixing drinks better than L
do
Mr. Greeley laughed aud shook his head.
Warren redouhled his pleading so earnestly !
that at last Horace said: ''Weh, Warren,
you can 60 down Stairs and mix me up
lemonade; that's the best can DO for you,
and l don't think. you ought to ask me any
more. Now, go away and let nae alone"
Warren Went down stairs. lie mixed up
the most delicious lemonade ever eoHeOcted
in the Metropolitan hotel. lie took q ass
nearly as large as weiss beer glass. De
filed 1t with ice, with sugar, Win pepper
mint, with big piece OF pineapple, biz Of
orange, with slices of lemon, some taasy, I
StougltOn btteTs, and last Of al about TWO
table sp9onfGls of bazaTac brandy. Then
he stuck two slraws into it, and took the
lemonade to Horace. - -r
What are those for, WARREN" asked !
Mr.. Gresley, pulling the straWs out Of the
glass and Aourisuing them in Warren's
face. ,ss
@Why, that's the fashionable way Of
drinking lemOnade, Warren replied. "Did
you never suck cider with straw out Of a
bung-hols when boy?'
Yes replied Horace, "bnt this is not
cider, and | don't see any bung hole. L
prefer the old fashioned way Of drinking
lemonade, and he pulled the two straWs
out Of the glass and dropped them into his /
hat, which was onsbhe table At his side.
Then Horace drank the lemonade. A /
pleasant expression stole over his c0unte- |
nance. he stopped when half way through, |
and said; Swell, Warren, this is great lem
Onade. This is good lemonade. 1 never |
tasted any better. You certainly have q re-
faculty for mixing lemonade
Warren puckered up lis mouth like a rat I
hole, and gave vent to, one Of lis Leayy I
laughs. There was more vim than sound |
in Wauen's laugh. Mr.. Greeley finished \
his lemonade. After, Il had disappeared
strange light began TO caper ia HOrace's
eyes. he. talked more freely than usual.
His sayings we're speed with quaint Oddi /
tiss. lie talked OF ploughs, coulteTs and
then of breeching-straps and
Yankee scythesnaths, OF new Jumped axes,
saw bucks aud patent corn-shellers, OF old
and Of The thousanl and one
things connected with farming. -.
( 1t was one of the most Interesting con-
7ersations that was ever held in the Metro
DoliLan Hotel. Warren drank in HoT2ce's
words of wisdom after Horace bad drunk
w dAIClAS ICLfflAdAAEsf
In a few moments Horace said::, @War-
en-, 1 would Ike alother lemonade, but
ion't take the tr9ugls 70 go down Stairs
ind mix it yourself; 1T one of tue walters
,ring IT, Warren fired up in an Instant
lie said he could be gulty Of no such act Of
liscourtesy to an Old friend. he Insisted
lpon going himself, and he went. The |
econd lemonade was mixed like The first,
With the exception that WarrsR chacked in
hree tsble-spoonfuls Of Sazarac bran
" instead of two. Horace took the tuIn-
Ter and sucked the drink IN like a three
ear-old chill. "WafreD, y he said, 'sthis !
ever, better han the other one.
Z on are a great man, Warren, and you !
nov how 10 keep q hotel; your art Of
mixing lemonade IS unsurpassed" .,--l
Horace drained the glass. lie put It
own, aud looked as though he was sorry
le had got through ID 80 quick. The merry i
winkIe IN his eye increased. Ills talk
famed with vie. Those who were fortu- /
ate enough to be seated near hin reared
Fith laughter. They were filed with wine, ,
nd Horace was iiHed with lemonade.
Iemonade was productive Of more wit
ban wine. It was grea5 Temperance lee
ufe, though none Of them SO Fe Bried IT,.
The company brolis up at a Fate hour,
nd though Horace took notsa drop Of The
sIsdred bottles Of wine which disappeared
Il chat night be weiit home the most in
Jxicated man Id the whole party. 20