Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-07-13
Facts and E|anacGcs.

A loose>paper. - A decree OF di-
vorce.
The diet of worms. - almost any
thing.
One of the "voices of the night" -
Seat
\ clerical error. - The want of
(c)curatc.
To authors-it is not wrong to write
if you right wrong.
What is the worst seat a man can
sit on !? Seif-conceit.
\ thing that should take well with
verybody-Vaccination.
The latest experiment of U)oil's |
gamcs-A petroleum explosion.
You should not stone your neighbor
but you may rock his baby.
About Thanksgiving time it's "neck
or nothing with the poultry.
The surest way to lose your health
is to keep drinking other peoples.
Judy's shop boy won't get up in the
morning lie says it is sleep year
What we know about the Darwin
theory. - 9 Thereby hangs Il tail"
An exchange tells Of a marine disas-
ter where three seaman : bit the dust. "
Railroads are aristocratic They
teach every man to know his station and
to stop there.
Innocence is like an umbrelIa-wheu
once lost YOU may never hope to see it
back again
Why arc hens not immortal he
cause thcy have their uecks twirled
(uext world in this,
This is sweeping catastrophe" as
the man said when his wife Knocked
him down with broom.
How to make a thin baby fat-Throw
it out of third story window, aud its
sure to come down plump.
Lets investigate" is what they say
now, instead OF the more vulgar Come
aud take drink
"No COWS, no cream" was the way
an intelligent composition set up the
words No cross, NJ crown.
Boss" Tweed doesn't want to 90 10
heaven since he ha~ read in Revelations
that there will be Ho,Per'S there.
Curious fact II you should cut of
an elephants head it docs not follow
that it should bo separated from thu
trunk
GLOW the world wags a tale" Some
thing wrong here, Either book OF
DarwinIan theory, or there's been a com
una LETT out.
y Vermont contemporary suggcs
lively remarks anonymous commuui>
cations are worth four cents u pound al
this office"
\ spirit medium, when asked what
amusoments were most popular in the
other world answered, "Reading obitu-
airy notices.
Hair manure" is what young Ia
dy inquired for in one of the keokuk
drug stores last week, when she wanted
bottle Of hair renewer
An old sailor at the theatre SAID he
supposed the dancing girls wore their
dresses at haIf-mast as amark of respect
TO departed modesty.
There is living in Texas a young man
who has married his fathers divorced
wife. He came within step Of mar
rging his own mother.
a certain military 5iographer owes
the War Department some important
papers, aud it is considered in general
Adam Badowe.
A Newfoundland dog is a good thing
to have only one must get one or two
children and a pond before he will be
of any use. Josh Billings thinks.
Newly married daughter: GLOW long
does the honeymoon last mamma p
Practical parent: Until you ask your
husband for money, my dear"
A four year old, being asked by his
mother if he would like to have wings
and be an angel, replied, "No ma, Id
rather be a hawk and live on chick
ems"
A Portland man went into shop
and stumbled through his errand in
this fashion II want some white wo
mans long-lcgged cotton stocking hose
4 barc-footcd, bare>headed little boy
astonished a worshif ing congregation
few weeks ago by rushing into the
church and exclaining "Where's my
papa? The pigs are out p
In answer to its correspondents, an
exchange thus cnlightens one querist;
"a Mother.-The present style of high,
sharp boot heels is dangerous. Try the
palm Of your hand or shing!e."
A few days ago, a negro Of Halifax
county, N. G., was exhibiting to a party
of admiriug friends the docile qualities
of his iavorite mule by pulling his tail
and otherwise caressing him. His cof
fin was made Of poplar plank.
Tho following is truthful report of