The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-06-17
GrceIey's Picture.

DRAWN BY MARK TWAIN. s..s
ue next roes to breakfast, which is trll-
,,aI absteminous meal with him, and CONSISTS
e. nothing but Just such things as the market
ofrnrds-Tothing more. He drinks nothing
hut water-notlliDg whatever but water ana
coffee. and tea and Scotch ale, and lager beer
and lemonade with fly i'll it-sometimes a
ho,Ise.tly and sometimes u horse-fy, accord
ing to the amount Of inspiration required 10
warm him up to his daily duties during
breakfast he reads the Tribune all through,
and enjoys the satisfaction OF knowing that
all the brilliant things in it. written oy
Young, and Cooke, and Hazard, and myself,
are attributed to him bya contiding and igno-
rant public.
After breakfast he .writessa short editorial,
and puts large dash at the beginning of it,
thus -, which is the same as if lie put
81. 6. after, and takes savage pleasure IN
rejecting that none of us understrappers can
use that dash except in profane cow ersatlon
when chatting over the outrage. He writes
this editorial in his own handwriting. He
does it because he is so vain of his penman-
ship. He always did take an inordinate prlde
in penmanship. He hired out once in his
young days as writing-master, but the en-
terprise failed. The pupils could not trans
COPY: was :"Virtue is its own reward" and
they got it "Washing with soap is low and
absurd" and so the trustees discharged him
for attempting to convey bad morals through
the medium of worse penmanship. Butts
I was saving. he writes his morning edIto-
rial. Then he tries to read it over, and can't
do it, and so he sends it to the printers, and
they try C cad it, and can't do it; and so
they sci It up at random, as you may say,
putting in what words they can make out !;
and when they get aground on long word
thew nut in protection or " universal suf-
frage," and spar off and paddle ahead, and
next morning if the degraded public can tell
what it is all about they say that ii. g. wrote
it; and if they can't, they say it is one OF
those imbecile undcrstappers, and that is
the end OF it, ...... ..r...
On. Sundays Mr.. Greeley sits in a promi-
nent pew in Mr.. Chapin's church and lets on
that he is asleep, and the congregation re-
gard it as eccentIicity of genius.
When he is going to appear in public, Mr..
Greeley spends two hours on his toilet. He
is the most painStaking and elaborate man
about getting UP his dress tlat lives in Ame-
RIGA. This is his chiefest and pleasantest
foible. He puts on his old white oyercoat
md turns up the collar. He puts on a soiled
shirt, saved from the wash, and leaves one
end of the collar unbottoned. He puts on
| his most dilapidated hat, turns it wrong side
before, cants it on the back of his head,
and jams an extra dent in the side OF it.
He puts on his most utrocious boots, and
spends fifteen minutes tucking the left leg OF
| his pants into the boot-top in what shall seem
the most careless and unstudied way. But
his cravat-it is into the arrangement of his
cravat that he throws all his soul, all the
powers of his great mind. After fixing 1t
for forty minutes before the glass. it is per-
fect-it is askew in every way--it overllows
his coat-colIar OH one side and sinks into
oblivion on the othCr--lt climbs and It delyes
around about Ills lieck--thG knot Is cohspi-
cuously displayed under his lett ear, and it
stretches one of his long ends straight out
horizontally, and the other goes after his eye,
in the good old Toodles fshion-and then,
completely and maryelousiy appareled, Mr..
Greeley strides forth, rolling like a sailor, a
mirare OF astounding costuiiiert, the awe
and wonder of the nation!