River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1872-09-06
Varieties.
WoRMwooD--Cofhns.


gSPELIf Children at school
Power of eyil--A power Of attorney.
NATURAL highway-The milky way
TALES from real life" - Chinese
WHEN is woman wrong2 When
she is a miss.
A JOINT affair with but a single party
to it-Rheumatism.
AMY RICHARDSON, of Iowa, weighs
1852 pounds. This is the latest case of
big-Amy.
WHEN may your money be said to be
glad to see you? When it is mute.
elated currency.
INCREDIBLE as it may saem, many of
the richest planters in Jamaica live on
coffee grounds.
In New Hampshire they call elope-
ment suicide. This is not so bad; he
sued and she sighed.
SIMPSON county, KY, boasts che. year.
old heifer that yields a quart of milk a
day
Why is a moth fiuttering round a
candle like man getting off horse?
Because they are both going to alight.
WHEN man who has tried every
thing and found it will not answer, let
him 60 where there is an echo and try
that.
Az Eya,ey;1lo ol;.rc ,,,oo.,, oo,l-a1otl
because he wrote "another factory
and lived to see in print :" a mother fac.
tory"
THERE are two things in this world
that are not safe to be trified with-a
woman's opinion and the business end
of wasp.
Two Russian editors have been fined
and imprisoned for having given circu-
lation to the rumor of Alexis secret
marriage in this country.
AFTER all, when Napoleon III. was
deposed, he lost less than any of his
subjects, for he only lost crown, and
they sovereign.
The man who called for tea, at an or.
binary, as strong as the kick of a
mule" complains that he got it as
weak as good resolution"
An Irish paper concludes biography
of Robespierre with the following SEN
tence: This extraordinary man left
no children except his brother, who was
killed at the time"
A New YORK Judge has decided that
signs and banners across the street are
illegal distractions, as street is not the
mere surface of the earth, hut embraces
also the light and air above it.
/ A STROKE Of lightning accomplished
the destruction of LOO gallons of whis.
ky in an Indiana town, few days ago,
but an eyewitness says it was a pretty
even tussle between the two.
A WESTERN traveller writes /" In
passing through the burnt district of
Wisconsin, | saw no shrubs or briers
anywhere, a thing | never saw before,
and would not have believed had l not
seen it.
"Do you think Jonah cried when he
was in the fish's belly?' was the ques-
ton put to an oily seaman by sleek
querist. I" Don't KNOW" replied Jack,
"but should think not, as there was
plenty of blubber without hisn."
JOSH BILLINGS, in his directions How
to pick out good hoss," says: "Good
bosses are skarse, and good men, that
deal in emmy kind of HOSES, are skar-
ser. An honest man il the noblest
work ov God ; this famous saying was
written in great anguish of heart, by the
late Alexander Pope, just after buying
a good family hoss."
An Eastern editor participated re-
Gently in the blissful operation of house
cleaning He was intrusted with the
artistic operation of painting the
kitchen chairs. He finished one of
them ana sat down on it to paint the
others. They had to build fire under
the chair to thaw him off. 1t ruined
the chair, but he has had bay window
set in his pants, and they are now about
as good as new.
Mr.. STANLEY gives the entire credit
for the organization of the l. vingstone
expedition to James Gordon Bennett,
L - y. :. n. - e.,