Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1872-07-25
AUSTIN, MOWER COUNTY, MINNESOTA. THU

JUSTIN, MOWER COU
hill that KEEP off all the wind, and the
sun blazed away at them gret west
windcrs, and there was pretty sleepy
times there. Well, the deacon he few
round spell, and woke up the chill
dren and tapped the boys on the head,
and kept everything straight as he
could till the sermon was most through,
when he rally got most tuckered out,
the door right opposite the minister
and fairly got to sleep himself, just Ms
the minister got up to make the last
prayer.
oval, Parson Morrel had way
O. prayin' with his eyes open. Folks
it want the best way, but it was Par
son Morrel's way anyhow, and 40 he
was prayin' he couldn't help secin' that
Deacon Titkius was a noddin' and a
bobbin' out toward the place where old
Dick was feedin' with the sheep, front
o the meetin'-house door.
Lem and me was sittin' where we
could look out and we Jest sees old
Dick stop feedin' and look at the dea.
con. The Deacon had a little round
head as smooth as an apple, with nice
powdered wig on it, and not their
MAXIM bobs and bows, and Dick begun
to think it was suthin sort O. pussonal.
Lem and me was sittin' Jest where we
could look out and see the hull picter,
and Lem was fit to split.
"Good, now,' says he, that crit
ter'll pay the deacon off lively, pretty
soon.'"
The deacon bobbed his head a
spell, and old Dick he shook his horns
and stamped at him sort o. threatenin'.
Finally the deacon he gave a great
bow and brought his head right down
at him, and old Dick he set out full
tilt and came down on him ker chunk,
and knocked him head over heels into
the broad aisle, and his wig flew one
way and he t'other, and Dick made a
plunge at it as it few, and carried it
off on his horns.
"Wal, you may believe that broke
mp the meetin' for one while, for Par
son Morrel laughed out, and the gals
and boys they stomped and roared, and
the old deacon he got up and began
rubbing his shins-'cause he didn't see
the joke ont.
90 You don't orter laugh says he,
it's no laughing matter-it's solemn
thlng, says he. Il might have been
sent into 'tarnity by that darned crit
tur, says he. Then they ali roared
and haw-hawed, the more to see the
deacon dancin' round with his little
shiny head so smooth o fly would trip
up ont. Il believe, my soul, you'd
laugh to see me IN my grave, says he.
"Wal, the truth ont was, twas list
one of them Dustin up times that ma
ttr has, when there ain't notf in for it
but to give in; twas jest like the ice
breakln' up IN the Charles river-it all
comes at once and no whoa tot. Sun
day or no Sunday, sin or no sin, the
most on em laughed till they cried,
"But the deaI h he went home
feelin' pretty sore about it. Lem Su-
doc he picked up his wig and handed
it to him. Says he, 'Old Dick was
playing tithing man, want he, deacon 2
Teach you to make allowance for other
folks that get sleepy"
"Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to
Aunt Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly
Hokum's, and they had pot o. tea
over it, and greed it was awful of Par
son Morrel to set sich an example, and
suthin' had got to be done about it.
Miss Hokum said she alters know that
Parson Morrel hadn't no spiritooality,
and now it had broken out into open
sin, and led all the rest of 'em into it,
and Mrs. Titkins she said such a man
want fit to preach, and Miss Hokum
said she couldn't never hear him ag'ln,
and the next Sunday the deacon and
his wife they hitched up and driv eight
miles over to Parson Lathrop's and
too Aunt Polly on the back seat.
oval, the thing growed and growed,
till it seemed as if there warn't nothin'
else tailed about cause Aunt Polly and
Miss Titkins and Jerushy Scran they
didn't do nothin' but talk about it. and
that sot everybody else a-talkin.'
"Finally, it was greed they must
hev a council to settle the hash. So
all the wimen they went to chopping
mince, and making up punkin pies and
NANhOCAAy VnA W, &1uO u X11u uOUkuuuCS,
gettin' ready for the ministers and
delegates-'cause councils always eats
;powerful-a d they had quite stir,
like gineral trainin'. The hosses,
they was hitched oil up and down the
stalls, a.stompin' and switchin' their
tails, and all the wimmin was talkin,
and they he'd up everybody round for
witnesses, and finally Parson Morrel
he says: 'Brethern, says he, tjest let
me tell you the story jest as 1t happen
ed, and if you don't every one Of you
laugh as hard as I did, why, then. I'll
give up.
1.-THE parson he was master at set
in off a story, and afore he'd done, he
got 'em all in sich roar they didn't
know where to leave off: Finally, they
give sentence that there hadn't no
temptation took him but such as is
common to man but they advised him
afterwards alters to pray with his eyes
shet, and the parson he confessed he
orter a done it ard meant to do better
in the future, and so they settled it.
so, boys" said Sam, who always
drew a moral, 'ye see it larns you you
must take care what ye'look at, if ye
want to keep from laughin' in meet.
in'.'