The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-10-18
PLAIN DEALER,

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Long Division-Soparation for life.
A CRATE questionable price of Goals.
Bayonets are driven. but bullets are
lead.
Spirits play euchre in Maine. The
"deuce" 10 their favorite card.
Time will by and by hang up his
scythc; chat is, he will when he shall
be no mower.
A very good way t. muzzle dog
is to place the muzzlc behind the ear
and pull the trigger.
A Chicago advertisement for three
lady copyists brought in two days an
influx Of $40 bcantifully-written letters.
A leading clergyman Of New York
considers ritualism "mcrcly a matter
of candles and night-gowns.
A pious young man in Eldora, Ia,
recently stole hor.e, which he traded
away for $40 in money and two bibles.
Ifyou have nothing else to do, 90
fishing. 1t Is the LATEST employment
you can have-that is, if you don't
care about catching any fish.
You hate some people because you
don't know them; others because you
do.
Motto Of the bribed Congrcssmen-
Let all the ends thou Amcst at be thy
Among the infant schools Of the
country we suppose we must reckon
the Nehigh University. unless it is q
compositor' mistake for 'Lehigh.'
Jones and Brown were talking lately
Of young clergyman whose rresching
they had heard that day. "What do
you think Of him?" asked Brown
II think" said Jones, "he did much
better two years ago." "Why, he
didn't preach then," said Brown.
"True," said Jones, THAT is what l
mean"
"Senator Wilson," says an exchange,
sis. strict temperance man." That
he may be, but bis temperance is not
mnch more strict than Grants intcm-
perance.
The Chicago Journal concludes that
Grant never had the slightest preten-
sions to oratorical gifts" Exactly,
but when it comes to the other gifts he
turns his back to no man.
The Straig ht-out Democrats of Hi
nois nominated Judge Brecse for Gov
ernor, but he declined With this fail
ure to raise Breese, they are net
likely to carry the State by STERN.
The Detroit Post speaks of Grants
''dignifed. gcntlemanly reticence. " It
is not often that a lack of brains gives
that is either digni6ed or
,entlcmanly to ! man. But, then.
Grant has a great many things given
him that no other president ever had
Among all the hats Of the politicians
If this country, Greelcy's is about the
,nly Que that never had brick in it.
That speech Of Grants at Philadel-
'hia, the other day, was o marvel Of
If we were the chief engi-
leer Of home for the Predetermined
md had charge Of a .ten-year-old idiot,
who couldn't make better one, VIC
hould feel authorized to sell him.
he nearest mcnagerie for an infant
gorilla.
The Chicago Journal, Grant organ,
must be suffering political depression:
t says than "the tanning business is in
IN unusually depressed state"
Yrs. Shoddy puckered up her mouth
,enteely and told a gentleman friend
hat one of her lovely daughters was
I"blucnet," and the other bronze.'s
In Prussia. the Days Doings, tn
New Varieties and the Police Gazette
IL fashy American periodicals, have
'een prohibited, as they should be here.
The Boston Herald says: 1.-THE Adj
Inns boys oppose the Cincinnati move
nent, because the Adams daddy was
,ot there nominated. The Adams
took can never 60 above pa"
O'Conor insists, that he is not can
lidate for the presidency.
The only instance where Grant has
the civil service was when he
ent Dent to cane an editor suffering
With chills and fever.
The present use Of the spiritual
world to us is the influence it has upon
,ur modes of existence in the natural
world.
A Kentucky negro's only sorrow
vas his inability to vote in Ohio, Indi-
ma, Nebraska and Pennsylvania, SO to
make one hundred dollars.