Weekly Trinity journal., 1872-07-13
How the Deacon a'ot Caught.
A sEAsoN-ABLE STORY.


among the abe-bod mule adults of
this city the very common beverage
known rs soda water, and which is dealt
out SO unspaIingly at every corner during
the heated tenn, is considered, to use
their own language Thin drink" But
aS this ingenious mixture OF wind and
water is termed thin, strong liquors, such
as whisky, are altogether too thick for n
steady warm weather drink, and SO the
inbiber who must moiSten his "aues"
with some liquid retre>hment seeks u
pleasant combination OF the two classes
of drink, which forms happy comhna-
tion that eXhiiarates yet is not intoXicat-
ing. ltis customary for these go -betweens
to enter drug store, name their syrup,
at the same time giving wink to the
dispenser OF "slu>h," who takes the COB
let in which he places the syrup, then
stoops down behind the counter or retires
to back room, where, 10y some my,teri-
Gus chemical change, the contents are
colored darkly, and the soda is then let
in upon the mixture, which is handed To
the customer with wink from the cleik.
So much for the process; now lor the
sequel.
On Saturday last Il venerable gentleman
from the country, who is responsible
church deacon, II Justice Of the Peace, a
member of the Band OF Hope, and n Good
Templar in his native village, came to
this city to trade little in dry- good and
purchase such agricultural implements as
he needed to plant and cultivate his
Spring crops. The deacon is strictly tenn
perate, and never looks upon the wine
when it is led any mote than he does
when it is any other color. Unfortunately
our old friend had suffered from opthal-
mia in his early days, which lett him
with an optical popularity which caused
his lett upper eyeId to drop every few
seconds, and, to those not familiar with
his inilmity, gave him the appearance
of winking Intentionally.
The ''deae" is passionately fond Of soda
water and such like beverages. He loves
to feel the gaseous compound coursing
down his throat, and creating internal
commotions and typhoons, that, however
enduMble by Older persons, throw babes
into agony, and require prompt doses OF
peppeinint; SO, on Saturday, aiter he had
bought II lew shovels, pows, md Dolly
Va den Tor his wife, he thought he would
till up with scdh water and drive on to-
waId home. He entered drug store,
inquired the price Of the desired refresh
ment, then deposited his scrip and await
ed his mixture.
"What do you want9" said the urbane
clerk, rs he mopped off the marble coun-
ter with the same towel he used n mo-
ment before to remove the sweat from his
brow.
"Oh! give me sassaparilly; that il
about as healthy as anything, guess"
(Here the deacon's eyclid went back ON
him and dropped quickly)
"All right" replied the fountain tender,
as he disappeared below the counter and
came up n moment later with the drink
Ing glass containing about three liugers
of "sassaparilly," to which he added the
other ingredients and handed it to the
deacon. The latter drained the contents
to the very dregs, then brushed the roth
from his mouth, smackrd his lips, and
said, THAT syrup is II leetle stronger than
they generally make it, but my blood is
out OF older and guess I'll take another
glass" at the same time his eyelid 1ut-
tered meaningly rs belore.
The dose was repeated and the soda
water bibber lett the shop. About hnlt
an hour later he entered another estub.
lishment whore II sign announced "Soda
aud Mineral Water ON Draught." 1t
was noticed that the deacon walked us
though he had the string halt rs he entered
the door, and his tpectacies we,e upside
down on his nose. He called ior Con
gless water at this place, saying that he
did not leel quite night, and was afraid
he had used too much syrup in his soda
water at the other store, or else he was
bilious. His optical weakness exhibited
Itself Us he spoke, aud returning he wink,
the clerk retired to dark closet, then
returning, filled up the glass with plain
"COngress," and gave il To our "tituHlly
slight" friend, who swallowed it without
Il murmur.
How many "sodas" the deacon stored
away before he lelt the city we are unable
to say, but he was found late in the day
asleep in his wagon, with plOw point for
pillow, and several yu ds OF Dolly Var
der calico gracefully dtaped about hi,
person for II covering. lie revived sulfi
clently to inform stranger that he had
been shameiully "drugged,' and sub
sequent visit to the localities whe he
had taken soda water developed the TACT
that his unfortunate habit OF winking-
Il defect over which he had no control
was the cause Of all this trouble. The
soda water dispensers supposed him to be
Zone OF the Buys" and every time hi
eye-lid dropped took the hint. The dea
con escaped the 'jim jams" but says
hereafter he will wear binder over that
eye when he purchases Summer links,
or else write his Older on u s.ate.-Cseve-
tdnd Leader.