The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-04-04
THINGS WISE AND OTHERNISI.

haps, convince man, but YOU must per.
suaae q woman.
An Australian has false eve, made Of
an emerald and diamond. He considers
his sight priceless.
The latest conundrum out is: "Why
should merchant 90 so often for money
that is coming to him'
The man who was so economical ~ 10
bury his family in a perpendicular position
to save land. was not freesoilsr.
The May of Syracuse January recently
eloped with said January's son, and TO
counterbalance which. an Indiana father
has married his sno's divorced wife.
a gentleman Of high standing in st. Jo
seph county, Indiana, lost one Of his sleeve
buttons. 1t was found in the heel Of
young iady's stocking. Hose to blame!
what should you be, dearest" said
Walter to his sweetheart, off | was 10
press the seal Of love upon those sealing
wax lps?' 81 should be stationery"
A Western editors ST. ant, eve are
living at this moment under absolute des-
potism,' is explained by his contemporaries
by the fact that he has lately been married.
Miss Ellen L. Fletcher, Of Charleston.
\. H., having learned the trade, las opened
a jewelers. shop, and the watches Of all the
young men in town are out Of order IN con-
sequence.
The editor of contemporary writes
that g." the woman who has smoothed his
rafied bosom for years called to say she
| could not do it under nine shillings .
week"
The following congratulatory telegram
was received from Cincinnati by wedding
party in Nashville: Congratulations on
your nuptals; may your future troubles be
only little ones"
John Dawes, from the Santa Clara vine
yards, eloped to San Francisco with Mary
b. Parr, chartered tug boat, and was
married on the stormy Pacific, amidst an
immense upheavai of signs aud sandwiches.
A gentleman of ripe age was counting q
rich widow. See, mamma" said her small
son, who was playing in the room, "this
poor Mr.. Bonhomme has lost all his back
hair. Won't you give him some Of yours
which you bought to-day!''
| A fellow lately started store in Kansas.
| The following was the sign no hung out:
Dry goods by John Smith, who wishes to
get married" This sign drew oil kinds Of
custom. The single ladies went, Of course,
and the married men all told their wives to
! go, under the impression that they could
easily cheat so great fool! .--
! A handsome and aristocratic Young lady
in reduced circumstances has been appointed
keeper of = toll-bridge over the Neuss
river in North Carolina, wherat ~ editor
down Il ere says: There will undoubtedly
be more young men than ever tolled over
that bridge; and many lovs-story told
over it too"
"Do you cast things herc." inquired a
Yankee the other day, a. he sauntsrsd in
to a foundry, and addressed the proprietor.
Yes, we de-" "You cast al kinda Of
things in iron, eh," WAS the next query.
" Certainly; don'n you see it is our busi-
ness." "Ah well, cast . shadow, win
your lie was cast out.
In the Galary Club-room Current nun-
| berg, good story is told Of college presi-
dent, who, meeting on the cars . student
whose character for sobrlety Was not good,
and whose then appearance evidenced re-
cent debauch. approached him, and solemn
| " and regretfully said, Been on drunk!"
" So have |, was the immediate reply.
Mother, where is the man to sleepe"
asked girl of fifteen Of her mother, who
| had just offered a traveller q nights rest in
their out-ofthe-way hut. "l'il put him in
with you, and Jack, and Sue, and Kate,
and Bet, | suppose" was the reply; and,
if it is too crowded, one of you must turn
in with me, and dad, and Dick, and Tom,
and the twins ~
How happy is boyhood. which scarcely
looks ten minutes ahead toward the dark.
uncertain future Who does not envy the
F! hliSsfnl connnoSure of the little fellow who.
after watching the burning Of the school
house, until the novelty of the thing had
ceased, started down the street, saying,
I'm glad the old thing is burned down;
didn't have my jogfry lesson no how
\ forgetful young woman out west the
other night aroused the inmates of a hotel
to which her bridal trip had led, on account
of her finding man in her room. Tho
trifing circumstance of her marriage that
morning had quite escaped her memory,
and it was NOT until summary justice was
about TO be visited upon the offender that
she happened to rccolieet it.
WITTY, but severe Madame Boliver hay
ing tried in vain to getpay for some erayats
which a young fop had bought Of her, At
last sent in her bill in this style: 1.-TWO
dozen fancy satin policemen, 200 francs"
"What do you meant What are satin
policemen" asked the dandy. Your
crayats, for they take thief by. The throat
every morning
The GAINESVILLE Gazette Gays: "When
yea find a newspaper on ballroom floor
it isn't always proper TO pick it up and
wonder where Il came from and ask un-
necessary questions concerning the pecu-
Iarity CT the folds. We know Of a
Young man who did that not long eince
and he couldn't get another girl to alance
= with him during the evening. Accidents
vii happen in. such a busting threng os
rears IS a~c .,e.a7aa az COZ. zFAss.atf1} afnr> "a
5aA 1ooE Eoo.