The Lincoln County herald., 1872-06-12
ssaIks and Babies.
From Josh BiilingS spiee.Box.

their heds smashed.
They are said tew be innocent, but
they have got . bad reputashun, and all
tbs Innocence 10 the world won't cure q
bad rsputashun.
They liv in the grsss but seldom gi,
stept 90, beksuse they don't stay long
enough 10 the right place.
When I wsz little boy, and wore
naked feet, and wsz Ios6ng around loose
for strawberrys, waz often times just a
Q going to step on q striped sDaik, but it
alwus cured me ov strawberrys
If striped snaik got into lO akre
lot before did, l alwus konsidered that
oil the s,rawberrys in that lot belongeI
tsW the sDa'k.
lam just sz afraid OF snaiks now az
was 40 years ago, and if should liv tew
be az old az Nebuksdnezer waz, and
60 to grass as he did, one striped snaik
would spile so skers ov good pasture for
me.
Wimmin don't luv snaiks emmy more
than do, and l respekt her for this.
How on earth Eve was seduced BY
snaik iz fustclass MYSTERY tew mo, and
it | hadn't read it 10 tho Eibls | would
bet against it.
| beleave everything thare il 10 the
Bible; the things | kant understand l
belsave the most.
wouldn't swop oph the faith hav
got for emmy living mans knoxledgs.
Snsiks arc ov all sorts an all sizes, and
the smaller they are the more am atrade
ov them.
l wouldn't buy a farm at haf price
that had a striped snaik on it.
Dsd sBaiks are a weakness with me
always respekt them, and whenever sec
ded ono in the road, don't drop tear
on him, but drop another stone on him,
for fear be might alter his mind and come
tew lite again, for q snaik hates tew die
just az much az kat duz.
| never could ackount for a snaik or
kat hateing tew die so bad, unles it wa.
becauze tha was so poorly prepared fol
deth.
BABYS
Babys luv with all mi heart they
are mi swsstmeats; the warm up m
blood like gin sling they krawl into
ne and nestle bi the side ov nj sou
like . kitten under q cook stove.
hav raizcd tabYs miself, and knc
what I am talking about.
hav got grandchildren, and they ar
wuss than the fust crop tew riet amunt
the feelings.
If could hav my way, woule
change all the human beings now on th'
face ov the earth back into babys at once
and keep them thare, make this footstoo
ono grand nursery: but what shoult
do for wet nusses l don't kno, ner
don't caro-.
would like tew hav Is babys now OF
mi lap, and my lap aint the handyest lal
in the world for babys, neither.
My lap is long enuff, but not tn,
widest kind Nv lap.
lam q good deal ov man, but kon
sist ov length principally, and when
make . lap ov myself, it iz not mat
trass. but more like couple ov rails with
sjint in them.
1 can hold more babys in mi lap =
once than any man in Ameriks, wi,bou
spilling one, but it hurts the babys.
never saw baby 10 mi life that
didn't want tew kiss l am wuss than a
old maid 10 this respskt.
hav seen babys that hav refuse
tew kiss until they had been wasn't; bu
the baby want tsw blame for this, neitbs
wsz I.
There are folks in this world who sa
they don't luv babys, but yu kan depen'
upon it. when they waz babys sumbodd
loved them.
Babys luv me, too. kan take ther
out ov their mothers arms just az saz
~ kan an unasdged bird out ov hi
nest. They luz me beksuze l luv them
And here let me say, for tho comfol
and consolashun ov all mothers, tina
whenever they see me on the cars or O
the steamboate. out ov q job, they need n
hesitale . minnit tew drop q clean, 70
baby into mi lap; I will hold it, an
be thankful besides.
Perhaps there il people who don
onvy me all this, but it iz one ov tn
sharp cut, ell'dsfuod joys ov mi liis
nj love for babys and their love for inc
Perhaps there il people who will cal
na weakness, | don't care what they cal
it, bring on the babys. Uukls Josh ha
always kind word and kiss for th
babys.
! love babys for the truth thare ia il
them, ] aint afraid there kiss will bstra
me, their is no frauds, dsd beats nc
eouuterfts among them.
l wish l was baby (not only ono
nors), but forevsrmore.
JOSH BILLINGS.