Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1872-05-23
MIR. GREELEY's CANDIDATURE.
The Constable of Chappaqua as
Pircs fer n Higher Office.
HIS CABINET SELECTED.
Ihe better manners Of by-gone
: days to be introduced into the
white House-A Great Sa-
wing to the United States
Government,-Gr
Provinces, &c. &C.,

The Brooklyn Eagle. supports Horac.
Greeley's candidature. land recommend
the Democrats and the people to supper,
him also. So it did rather Il IS than a veal
ago, in an article which we copy from its
columns, and which is worth reading now
4 MIR. Barnum has a standing reware fol
any man who will name an American
office for which Hon. Horace G reeley
has not been proposed. No man has beer
hardy enough to claim Mr.. BARNUM's
cash. The world which has seen the In.
dian munity,- the rise and fall of Napo.
leonism, the beginning and the end of the
rebellion, the dissolution of slavery. the
vault of Prussia from poverty to power,
and many other equally rare and wonder
ful events, including the discovery of the
source of the Nile and the discovery of
the tanner of Galena, has also seen the
editor of the irsbune, the Constable OF
Chappaqua. the Congressman from the
| Tenth District,
| THE AGRICULTURIsT OF wEsTCHESTER,
| the members of the Constitutional Con-
vention, the friend and partner and deser-
ter and denouncer of Seward and Weed,
the temperance orator of the meeting-
| houses, the Christian of tue I,dependeKt
| he hereto of the Golden Age, the apostle
of Fourierism, the lender and loser of
money, the champion swearer of the Pc
riod, the head of the Tammany Repnbli-
cans, the perpetual candidate for the Post
.erGeneralship, the perpetual candi-
| date for the Senate, the, perpetual can
1idate for the mission to England. the
diplomatic hacker of Coronado Jewett and
George n Sanders, the inciter to seces-
| sion and of-to- Richmond. the historian of
lhe Amcricdra Conflict and the bailer of
Mr.. Jefferson Davis. as the author of
WHAT IKNow ABOUT FARMING
We say the world has also seen the remark
able end muititudinous- man in a condi-
ton of everlasting anguish for office. He
inscribes on bis banner, which in the
midst of peace is a red rag, aud in the
midst of war white flag, the motto of
Lapgdon Cheeves: office is an honor to
6e neither solicited nor declined He
forgets to acknowledge his indebtness to
Chcevcs for the aphorisrn, but uses it with
the same freedom as he does his exple-
tives borrowed from the slums and the
-utlCiS VI AICiiOiiOlio hO Labo h'oNS
.ame By ma'igring.
And now the world which has seen so
much of this iuextinguishable and innu-
merable person, beliolds in him this time
AN EARLY AND EAGER CANDIDATE
for the Presidency. All he asks for is the
nomination. If he can get that he re-
CARDS his election rs certain. Tie prin-
ters would all go for him, because he has
pensioned of two typos who were pros
trate with paralysis, brought about by
reading his manuscrip pit. The tailors
would all go for him. because he never
troubles them with vexatious orders. The
matters would all go for him, because each
of tt,enl would ache TO advertise himself
by presenting him with new hat. Fhe i
butchers would all go for him, IN hope Of
getting the S3 5000 he promised long ago
for an OK weighing a ton and a half. The
cordwainers would all go for him, in hope |
of persuading him to wear twins boots,
or twin shoes instead of one of each as at
present. The sinners would all GO for
him, because
IN CASE He WAS ELECTED
the worst of them could live In lively
hope. The Christians would all 60 for
bin, in hope that prosperity would touch
a heart on which adversely has exhausted
itself in vain. The Irish would all go |
for bin, in expectation of getting back |
some of the Slievegammon fund. The !
Germans would all go for him, because |
le has always been in favor of nominating |
Germans for every Office 70 which there |
was no chance of their being elected The |
colorcd people would all go for him be,
cause they affect blanicless and beautiful
blondes. The white people would all 60
for him on the Scripturaf principle OF
blessing him that curses them, and OF
loving their enemies, and finally the bro
kers and lawyers would all 60 for him.
because the market is glutted with paper
due from Bohemians, philosophers and
poets to this extraordinary person-paperr
which when President he would use all
the powers of the Kuklux bill to collect
Such are the
DAY DREAMS AND NIGHT VISIONS
of the man. He has firmly convinced
himself of these favorable probabilities
hv the same course of reasoning that has
rendered him life long advocate of pro-
lection. He appeals to the South with
his Secession record, to the East with his
Addition record. to the West with his
rpral record. to the central States with
his Union record, to the Quakers with his
peace record, and to the men and breth-
rem with his capital letter record. In
case he is elected he has already
SELECTED HIS CABINET IN ADVANCE.
AS FOLLOWS:
S,c'ty of Stdte-Colorado Jewett.
Sec'W of he 11casuTe-Sampel Sinclair
rim of War-Alfred Love.
S,c'ty Of the Nary-George Nj. Robeson
post,ooster Gcn'l-John Russell Young.
S,c't,, ot' Interior Windust.
orneg-Gcar-Stephe ii. Branch.
Private Sec'ty-Albert Ii. Brisbane.
With himself for President and these
1entlemen for his constitutional advises,
- believed he could make the Repub-
;c,n PARTY accomplish its mission. 1t is
baI;cy.d he could. He would introduce
INTO the White House the better manners
# bv-cone days, As now, he would re-
,ud;ate the ranking privilege, and as
9ow would make Samuel Sinclair pay all
,;s hostage. He would revive the Jack
oman pelicy. and improve upon it in the
EN- IF VIGOROUS appeals to the author OF
lis being. He would airrigate Laiaye''e
% Il and the Preeidents's groundsat once
,;,b system of drains which would turn
IT ,ha P,tomac and the Washington Ca