The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1872-06-01

SAKE graphically describes a certain 4
piece of beefstcak as an infringement 4
on Goodyear's patent
A well known comic writer saws
he would rather be widower every /
two years regularly. than to be a /
lonely miserable old bachelor for nine /
ty days. !
When is n woman like sparrow ?
When she is in earnest Gin her nest.)
When is lady's hair like news?
When it's found in the morning papers.
What is it You should keep after Civ
ing it to Mother? Your word.
The mothers heart gives 4th joy at
the baby's LIST 9th.
What can man have in his pocket
when it is empty? a big hole.
Lazy California bar-tenders place
the ingredients of cobbler into
tumbler, and then wait for an earth
quake to mix them up.
The average salary of minister in
Denmark is $3.50 a year and in Sweden
$40.
Why does b precede C in the al
phabet! Because you must be before
you can see. Do you observer
Can n watch be said to be perfectly
dry when it has running spring in
slider
Thomas j. Perkins, postmaster at
Perkinsville, Greenland county. Va.
has been arrested on the charge of
robbing the United States mail.
The sum of $250,OOO was realized
last year by the sponge cathcrers on
the lower gulf coast OF Florida.
An alligator eighteen feet in length
and weighing eight hundred pounds,
was recently killed near the mouth
of the Ocklawaha river, in Florida.
The Cincinnati Exposition this wear
will open September 18th, and CONT
nue. n month.
Cherokee county, Ala, has a beard
ed ncgress. Her whiskers are about
three inches long and quite gray.
Ferdinand Spann, of Webster coun-
ty, Ga, hung his wife the other night,
who has but one leg, and eloped with
a girl that had an uninjured pair.
a young girl fourteen years of age.
living near Rockbridge, Va, can re.
peat nearly the whole ofthe New Tes-
lament.
An American eagle with bell n
round his neck has been lowering over
Norfolk, Va.
\ letter was put into the post-ofiice
at South birmingham few DAYS ago.
bearing the following direction: "Uli-
ccs :. Grant, President Unighted
States care of Congress-
The Philadelphia Age declares
chat it is SANDER on the Demo-
cratic party to suppose that it will
support Greeley"
In consideration of the distin-
guiShed greatness thrust upon Chi
cago by the hind LEG of Mrs.OIeary's
COW deduction OF 81 has been made
from that lady's taxes in that city.
The Steubenville Glass Works man
uiacture 10000 tuInblers and Jelly
/ glasses per day. 1t is the largest
establishment of the kind in the coun-
try. employing over 100 laborcrs day
and night.
The Baltimore Gazette saws Mr..
Greeley "can never receive the sup
port of the Democratic party, or any
respectable number of its members"
1t is n new rule Of political infer
ences that n, man who could never
command the confidence of his own
party, and always concentrated ON
himself that undivided opposition of
the other should be the most now
eriul representative Of combination
OF seceders from both.
y young physician in Sedalfa. Mo.
who had waited patiently three years
for call, ut last found the following
7 cheerful order on his slate: Doctor.
come TO Jesus"
Mr.. 7. Wrinkle having married Miss
Starr in Georgia, recently, the Savan-
nah N1rs erithalamizes the pair with
st. Wrinkle, Y. Wrinkle, little Starr"
What's in q name? Doom is run
ihg for Governor in Nebraska; Loo
uey for Congress, in Tennessee, and
Hobby for Congress. in Texas.
An old topper, being asked one dav
why he persisted ~ drinking replied:
DRY makes me drink, drink makes
IRE drunk aud drunk makes me dry
again. The explanation wa. CON
-idered quite sufficient.