Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-10-10
HIGGINS AND THE WIDOW.


One day Sandy Higgins came into my
Office and sat down without a word; for
some minutes he sat still, watching
me intently, as if trying to make out
by the sound of the pen what l was
writing.
esquire" he said at length, "did 1
ever tell you about my scrape with the
widow Horny up here on the river?'
"Never did" said 1, laying down my
pen; "let's have it,
"They're curious creatures, widows
IS" said he in meditative tone, 'and
the more you study about EN- the more
you don't know anything about EN-.
What was this thing I've read about in
Egypt, or some other country, that no
body could unriddle?"
"The Sphinx, probably" l replied.
Well,n continued he, "that was
widow as sure as you ever had granny.
Everything else in the earth has been
found out but them, and they're as
much mystery to-day as the length of
the North Pole. You may read the
history OF the world from Genesis to
Revelations, and you'll find that widows
has been the bottom or top of FIVE
quarters Of all the devilment that has
been cut up. Was you ever in love with
one?n
"Lots of Them" said I.
YOU'RE great gander-that's what
you are,'' said he. " A man that loves
one and gets over it won't never get bit
by another, if he's got as much sense as
a ground hog. l don't consider that
I've got any sense at all, but I'm little
too smart to let another OF them get all
the trumps on me. The widow Horny,
that | was speaking of, is a little the
handsomest woman, | reckon. that ever
looked a man into fits, and 1 ought to
be judge, for I've seen lots of pretty
women in my day. She was about
twenty-five years old when l went up
there to work, just in the bloom of her
beauty, and as full of deviltry as three
year-old mule colt. There was ball
over at Jenkins, and of course [ went,
Tor | always go where there's any fun
going on, and generally act the fool be-
fore | get away. OF course the widow
was there, dressed as fine as Solomon's
lilies, and flying around as risky as
young lamb in a rye patch. | got in
troduced to her and asked her to dance
with me, and when she flashed her eyes
at me and said yes | jumped up ike
l had set down on hot griddle. You
may talk about sensation, but when she
took hold of my harG and l sorter
squeezed it, feiit a sensation as big as a
load OF Wood, and it kept running up
and Gown my back like squirrel with
D hawk after him. I'm very fond of
dancing, but I'll be hanged if l know
whether l enjoyed it that night or not.
for every time she took hold of my hand
I'd commence feeling curious behind
my ears and up and down my back
again, and then | wouldn't know
whether | was on earth, or in a balloon,
or on a comet, anything about it. 1t
was undoubtedly case of love at first
sight, and a powerful bad case at that
For wonder, got through the frolic
without making conspicuous or cutting
up any extras, as am in the habit of
doing when l go into public. I'd set
my pegs to 60 home with the widow
after the ball, but just as was fxin my
mouth to ask her, up steps big, long,
leather-faced doctor named Mabry, and
walked her off before my eyes. That
riled me some, but 1 kept my tongue
still, inwardly swearing to break his
bones the very first opportunity that
presented itself. [ saw there was no
use in saying anything, so went hone
and went to bed, and all the rest of the
night 1 was dreaming about rainbows,
angels, butterflies, fddles, widows and
doctors, mixed up worse than Dutch
mans dinner. ..a
"Well, Squire, to make short story
of it, made up my mind to have the
widow, or kill myself or somebody else
$50 l made it convenient to be on
hand where she was, upon all occasions
couldn't eat nor sleep nor work, and
if the thing had held on, l wouldn't
have had sense enough left to skin 3
rabbit. But was determined itshouldn't
last long, for I'd been fooled SO often by
women that I thought I wouldn't give
her time to think OF anything but me
She appeared to take to me right sharp
ly, and the doctor seemed to mix il
with me, but l didn't consider him n,
more than brush fence, for I was S,
far gone l thought she could see no
body on earth but me. Well, Squire
things went on-so. for about a month
and one Sunday / screwed up my spunl
and put the question to her. She sorte
laughed and gorter looked one sided
and finally told me she couldn't Civ
me an answer just then, but if I'd cal
at her house next Thursday evening
she'd give me a final answer. Think