The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1872-12-28

was u man OF muCn influence III America.
Sergeant Sleigh will defend the " claimant "
(Tichborne) in his coming trial for perjury, the
time for which has not been definitely fixed.
Her FAULT.-Woman ought to do all she can
to make this earth n paradise for men, as it was
all her fault he lost the other.
4 western girl who has been well brought mp,
knocks down every man that kisses her, and she
is SO pretty that half the married and all the sim
gle men in town have black eyes.
Are you not afraid that whisky'I get into
your head? asked II stranger of "A man he saw
drinking ut n bar. "No," said the topper " this
liquors. too weak to climb"
\ student who has been afflicted with u ser
mon one hour and a half long, grumblingly says.
that those professors study SO much about eter-
nifty, that they have no conception of time.
A Bangor lover writes to a local paper to com
plain that, while walking home with the darling
of his heart she answered his apostrophe to the
full moon by asking him what his income was.
A husband, whose wife has applied for Il
divorce, writes a protest to the judge, in which
he says: This plagued thing called II divorce
has. in my opinion, parted many a man and his
wife"
~''liere, you young rascal, walk up and give an
account of yourself. Where have you been?"
"After the girls, father" DID you ever know
me to do SO when | was a bOy?" mo, sir, but
mother did"
clessn from from the he's subscribers Of his paper, lately
received a baby's undergarment, somewhat dilap-
idated, but short enough, doubtless, to meet all
requirements.
A man who has a red-headed Sweetheart adj
dressed her as ''Sweet Auburn, loveliest of the
plain Sweet Auburn got mad about 1t. She
objected to being classed among the plain
even though called the loveliest of them.
DIDN'T WANT TO BE AN ANGOLA visitor at
one of our Sunday Schools, a short time ago,
perceived one little boy, covered with a peIspira-
ton of buttons, singing " L want to be an angel y
with such vigOr and earnestness that he grew red
in the face. Watching for that boy to emerge
from the portals of the sanctuary, the visitor
called him aside. He told that boy that he had
observed with what apparently heartfelt enthusi-
asm the scholar had screamed out his anxiety to
become an angel. The visitor told that boy that
he would give him half a dollar If he would say
honestly if he wanted to be an angel, and, ifnot,
what he would like to be. The scholar looked
solemn for n moment, clutched his half dollar, so
as to be certain of that, anyhow, and said he
believed he would like nothing better than to be
captain of a canal boat. 1t seems to US wrong TO
compel these ambitious children to tell fbs while
they are singing in Sunday School.
The temperance movement in England seems
TO DC IuTLlCE III huNdICt Vi DODuidT ucd lilhU
the same movement in the United States. The
common British people who find consolation in
their mug OF ale and bread and cheese, have no
sympathy with the Missionaries who would compel
them on one day Of the week at least to forego
the intoxicating balm. Strange to say, the anti
license agitation in Great Britain, although not
popular, is the fruit of an extended suffrage.
Under the old homestead system the same church
men were sent to Parliament year after year
men who would as soon think OF cutting down
an established ministers salary as Of depriving
the poor man Of his beer. But now the strait
laced Dissenters with strait-laced ideas, are be-
ginning to obtain control, and as they have an
equal hostility for the Established Church and
the beer house, they are endeavoring to pull
down the one and close up the other. 1t seems
not unlikely that the next Parliamentary election
may be largely affected by the question Of beer
or no beer.
Among the minor but still very serious and ir-
reparabIe losses occasioned by the Boston conha-
grafton, the World chronicles the complete de-
struction of the letters, papers, and manuscripts
of the historian Prescott. During the absence in
Europe of the members of the family into whose
possession they had come, these valuable docu-
ments had been stored 50 for safety " in one OF
the splendid warehouses which disappeared like
log huts in a prairie fire under the stress of the
tremendous conflagration. Mr.. Prescott's physi-
cal infrmity had made 1t necessary for him TO
cause copies to be taken Of an immense number
and variety Of ancient and authentic documents
concerning Spain and the two Americas, and the
destruction of these as well as Of his own CORE
spOndence and literary memoranda is in It's way
a public calamity to the world of letters. With
these also persisted some of the finest portraits
ever painted by COpley, the father Of Lord Lynd-
hurst, aud the first Of American artists to win O
name and fame in the world.
A Fool FOR LUCK.-John, the fool Of the New
York Sun, was made rich in spite Of himself al
Long Branch, and this is the way it was done
[" Just as [ was the ~hungriest, LOngfeHOo and
Harry Bassen were brought ont, and they went
round the corner like two Colt's revolvers. AL
the nice Young men around me stood up and
bowed and scraped and held up one finger as i
they were stopping an omnibus. They all yelled
a hundred on Harry Bassen.' They all ap
peared to be so very polite, that l held up my
finger too, and | nodded and bowed back to all 0
them. l never saw such a polite lot of young
men before. You would have thought | was th'
Grand Duke Alexis. | kept up the bowling jus
as long as they did, and pretty soon the race wa
over, and | confess / was agreeably surprised Il
see about four hundred young men file up ant
each one chuck a 500 bill into my lap. Then
thought that lot Of young men just about TIT
incest lot of young men | had ever met. There
sat with $40 900 in my lap. and, much to m,
astOnishment, | found out that all the time
was pointing nv finger and bowling back to EN-
darned If / wasn't taking every darned bet tina
xas made, and darned if / knew IL. only ha
eight dollar in my pocket, and IL 4 had lost f.
siept in an oyster bed that Digbt