Smyrna times., 1872-06-12
Why Aunt Sally Never Got Married.


year:
Now Aunt Sally, do please tell US why
you never got married. You know you said
once that when you were a girl you were en-
gagged to minister, and promised you would
tell US all about it some time. Now, aunt,
please do
Well, if ever did see such girls in nv
born days. It's tease, tease, from morning
till night. You must know all about everything
you haven't no business to know anytbin@
about. Such lnqusitive, pestferous critters
as you are When | was young girls were
yery dliterent-theY minded their business, and
dldn go sailing arOunl with d whole string of
beaux getting their heads filed with all kinds
OF nonsense. | never dared ask my aunts.
married or single, about any OF their affairs.
Pretty mess have got in if | had When
they offered to tell me anything of their own
accord, l kept my mouth shut and listened.
Everything is different now a-days: Young folks
have no respect for their elders. But as | see
III not going to have any peace till do tell
you, why just listen, and don't let me hear a
word out OF one Of your mouths till l get
through.
That's right, Aunt Sally. Go right ahead,
DO, and we will keep perfectly still. "
Well you see, when | was about seven
teen teen years Old; was living in Utica, in the
State of New York. Though say it myself.
was quite good looking girl then, and had
several beaux. The one that took my fancy
most was young minister, very promising
young man, and remarkably pious and steady.
lie thought a good deal Of me, and kind of
took fancy to him, and things ran on till we
We're engaged. One evening he came to mel
remember 1t as well as If it were only Yesterday.
When he came in the parlor where was, alone.
! he came up to me, aud-but now, psbawl girls
L don t like to tell the rest"
ON! Aunt Sally for morcy'S solo doa,k
stop Tell us what he did :"
|, ell, as said, he came up to me and put
his arms around me, and rather hugged me:
when | got excited and some frustrated. 1t
was long time ago. and don't know but
what | might have hugged him back little
| Then telt-but Just now clear out, every one
OF you l shap tell you any more
Goodness gracious! No! Aunt Sally. Do
tell US how you felt. Didn't you feel goodP
And what did he DO next?"
On such tolmcnts as you are! | was like
any other girl, and pretty soon | pretended to
be mad about it and pushed him away, though
| WASH t mad bit. You must know that the
house where | lived was on one of the back
streets Of the town There were glass doors in
the parlor, which opened right over the street.
| These doors were open and the shutters drawn
to. | stepped back little from him. and when
he edged up close | pushed him back again.
| pushed him harder than | intended to and
don't you think, girls! the poor fellow lost his
| balance and fell through one of the doors into
the street. Yes! it's So As he fell gave a
scream and caught him-but | declare | won't
tell anything more! I'm going to leave the
room"
mol mol Aunt Sally. How did you catch
him? Did it hurt him much p
"Well, if | must, must. lie fell head first
and as he was going caught him by the legs of
his trowsers. held on for a minute, and tried
| to pull him back; but his Suspenders gave way
and the poor young man fell clear out of his
pantaIoons into whole parcel of ladies and
gentlemen passing along the street,"
| On! Aunty, Aunty! Lordy!'
There! that's right. squall and giggle as
much as you want to. Girls that can't hear a
little thing like that without tearing around
the room, and he he ing in such a way, don't
! know enough to come home when it rains. A
nice time the man who marries one of YOU will
have won't he? Catch me telling you any
thing again -
-, :" But Aunt Sally, what became of him?
Did you ever see him again ?"
No; the moment he touched the ground he
got up, and left that place in a terrible hurry.
tell you 1t was a sight to he remembered.
How that man did run Father happened to
| be coming up the street at the time, and he said
he never saw anything to equal it in his whole
HE. L heard others say he did the fastest run
nng ever known III that part of the country,
and that he never stopped or looked behind
him until he was two miles out of town. He
sent me note few days atterward, saying
that the engagement must be broken off, as he
could never look me in the face again after
what had happened. He went out West, and
| believe he is preaching out in Illinois But
| he never married. He was very modest. and
suppose he was so badly frightend that time
he never dared to trust himself near a woman
again. That, girls, is the reason never mar
rled. felt very bad about it for long time
for he was real good man, and I've often
Thought to myself that we should have been
very happy if his suspenders hadn't given
away - "0-