The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1872-03-12
COUNTING TwENTY-IAgE.
EF8yy the wife cs a UEic:, Editor
Cuybed his Tns0vernaSle Tenn :
From tie Utica Herald.

From tie Utica Herald.
| found the cherished face Of Maria
Ann wreathed in smiles, the other even
ing, when returned from my arduous
daily toil. an engaged as standing
man at a saloon. So many candidates
are treating, That the saloon keeper hires
six of us to he treated. We all drink
with every candidate who comes in, and
it makes business pretty brisk.
Said my chosen one, "Joshua, I am
afraid you do not always fad me an an
gel in disposition"
Said I, That's so--hic-my dear, l
don't seldom fnd ycu 'nangel ir-in
anything"
and" she added, "you sre rot al
ways the most pleasant man in the
world"
did not feel cslled on TO reply.
Now" said she, ''read that
She had cut an item from the columns
of some paper wherein demented wli
ter told about some impossible woman
who, being troubled with bad temper
counted twenty five every time she got
provoked, and thus became sweet, am
liable, and dearly loved ornament Of tie
house of her delighted husband. read
the article as well As the condition of
my head would allow, ard remarked,
"Bosh."
Maria Ann paid no attention to me,
but unfolded her plan. She said that
every time | got mad / should count
twenty five and every time she got mad
she would count twenty five. | asked
her who she thought would pay our rent
while we sat and counted twenty five,
over and over all day long. Then she
said | was always raising objections 10
her plans for our mutual Improvement,
and said / was not, and she said | was
enough to try the patience of q saint,
and said she was to ard she came for
me, and | told her to count twenty five
but she forgot all about that, and just
tailed one in my left eye.
| Then was going to demonstrate with
the poker, and she told me to count
twenty five, and said would not; hrt
did before she had pulled more than
half my bair out Then she made me-
count twenty five over ard over, until |
was out of breath and felt real pleasant
and good natured. So we went 30 sup
! per Now, the cat was curled up in
my chair, but did not see it until sal
down; and | did not see it then, but
! fDnt
knew it was there as we'll as wanted to-
and more too | felt inclined to rise vi
suddenly, hut as | gathered to spring
she blandished the tea pot and mur.
INJURED: "Joshua, your temper j. rising
count twenty. Eve or IL break yo,l
head, and that cat was drawing Il mal
of the Tenth Ward with her claws
around behind ne with the streets aaG
boundaries marked in my blood. | ros,
to explain, and said, "My dear-I-'
but she caromed on my head with q wei
shot tea cup, and sprinkled my face will
a quart of hot tea. and | sat down ant
counted twenty-five; but it killed til,
cat The old fellow died hard, though
!, | could feel him settle as his nine live
went out one by one. a
A few days practice of this rule, un
der the loving instruction of Maria Ann
has enabled me to conquer nay tempe
completely. Nobody can get me maj
now, am in state of perpetual calm
, and | want TO see the man that wrot
that story / want to fit him for til
hands of an undertaken, and make dc
mand for mourning goods among hi
friends. Then l can die happy count
ing twenty five, - tt."