New national era. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1870-1874, 1872-10-31
The Nasty Letters.
MIR. Nasty Discovers q Nefarious Scheme by
which the Republicans were to Carry New
York-His Vigorous Measures to Break 1t
CHAPPAQUA,
(Which is in the State NV Moo York;.

CHAPPAQUA,
(Which is in the State NV Moo York;
Oct. 10, 1872.
There hez bin SIGH scenes wv trouble in the
abode Nv virtOO in witch l am now dwellin, ez
| is very rarely seen out NV lOOnatic asylum
The great and good Greeley, whose virchoos
can't be enoomerated, hez developed tenn
per so absolutely friteful ez to alarm even
his most intimate friends. Yesterday he anC
1 wuz sitting with some friends. from Noe
| England, persuin table NV election returns
"Good hcavens!" scd he, in mos
eggscited manner, swat wildernis Nv
frauds. North Carolina wuz carried by
| fraud, Pennsylvany wuz carried by fraud
Ohio wuz carried agin me by fraud. My ma
jOrity in Injiany wuz redOost by fraud, ant
ez for Maine, the cleckshun wuz farce
Kin there be any SIGH thing ez purity in
elecshuns ?''
And the old man handed me, sadly, a letter
| from Boss Tweed, askin wat should be done
| for Reddy the Blacksmith and the other re.
peaters we had sent to Philadelphia. He sal
| mint, and bringin his horney fist down onto
the table, swore that the Republican party
was fraud throughout it wuz con.
sieved in sin, and brot forth in inikity, and
he'd bin a swindle alluz.
To witch assented vehemently, whereupon
| the great and good Horris, rememberin that
| he he'd only bin out Nv it few months, and
that my too readily assent he'd the appear.
| ance NV a reflekshun on hlsself, turned on me
| with violence that wuz astOnishin. Hard is
| the fate Nv the man whose dOOty is to wait
| on greatness!
But it is a singler fact that Horris never
diskivered the tendency wv the Republican
party to fraud till he left it. 1 sejest to our
Democratic brethren to at once subscribe for
the Triboon. Its precisely wat the World
ought to be.
The tricks NV the opposishun to the sainted
Greeley are too numerous to be kept track
NV. In the old times at the Corners, when
ever we he'd a politikle meetin, Pollock and
speakin, to start dog fife on the opposite
corner. They kept two savage dogs on pur-
pose. The first yelp Nv Pollock's yaller dog,
and every blasted Demokrat present wood
leave the house. 1t would be empted eZ
quick ez tho Bascom he'd advertised free
drinks.
got an anonymous letter last week from
Moo York, developin similar plot witch he'd
bin laid by the Republican committy, by witch
they hoped to carry that city-wich is our
strOnghold-a plot witch for fiendish nefari-
ousnis hez never bin exalted in the history
Nv politics in this or any other country.
liz ploG WIS SiIllpIy CHlS Hc Community
wuz to 60 to work and organise a gigantic
series of prize fites and rat-killins in other
States, all to take place on the 5th NV No
vember, and all so far from Moo York ez to
make the deparchcr Nv them witch shood to
participate in EN- necessary the day afOre.
Thus they wuz a goin to place prize-fites ez
follows:
John Morrissey and Ned O'Baldwn in
Maryland.
Tom Allen and Jem Mace in Virginia.
Pooley Mace and the Irish Sampson in
Canada.
Izzy Lazarus and young Chambers in
Maryland.
Patsy the LITTER, and Groggy Tim, in Vir-
ginia.
Irish Ned and the Birmingham Washer, in
Maryland.
Teddy the Bruiser, and the Devonshire
Pet in Virginia.
Then ten or twenty more matches between
more noted pugilsts, all in Maryland, V r.
ginia, and Canada.
This wood take out NV the city at least
10000 Nv the most reliable Democrats, and
wood make at least 10000 difference in the
vote inasmuch ez the heft NV EN- vote twice
on an average.
But this was not all. A large host Nv the
Democratic voters Nv Moo York cannot
men and swindle us out NV their votes, they
proposed to organize a gigantic rat tournn-
ment on the remOtest pint Nv Long Island,
to commence the day before the eleckshun
and cOntinyOO till the day after. They wuz
to buy up the Boston coliseum and set it up
there, and convert it into an enormous rat
pt-a pit on a scale wv magnitOOd SIGH ez
the most enthusiastic rat-fancicr he'd never
dreamed NV in his widest drunkenness. 1t
wuz to be to the rat wat the Boston jubilee
wuz to the moosic. They wuz to offer prizes
of sufficient magnitood to indoOse the owners
NV dogs to take EN- thar, and they he'd pur-
chased two hundred thousand NV the
biggest rats witch the city afforded, that there
might be no lack NV entertainment. They
wuz to so arrange it that the fits wood foller
each other in rapid succession, so that every
man Nv EN- wood be held entranced, and
prevented from leavin the buildin. Long
tables spread with sandiches wuz to be set
free to all, and occasionally barrel Nv
whisky wuz to be tapped, all Nv witch wuz to
be free.
Wv course this plan, cf carried out, wood
take nine-tenths Nv the Democracy out NV
the city, and their votes, eZ well ez Their SER
vices ez repeaters wood be lost to us. And
1 wuz told that the money for buildin the
coliseum, and to charter the steamboats,,
WuZ ny lilC IIlCil
Nv the city. They did it cz a measure NV
economy, calkclatin that there wood be a
gain Nv all it wood cost in hevin all the
thieves absent three days, to say nuthin NV
the number witch wood probably be killed
and wood never return no more.
When 1 read the letter to the great and
good Greeley he exploded into fit NV pro-
| family, the like Nv witch l never herd.
"Why, that carries Moo York city agin
| me" scd he.
Certainly" said I, "and it must be
stopped"
Te witch he consented, and the resident
committee furnished me money to 60 to Moo
York, and confer with the most prominent
thieves and garroters, and show EN- the dam
ger they wrlz in Nv lOsin control Nv the city
eff they fell into this trap. 1 accosted the
mission reluctantly, for don't like the lckel
they hev in Moo York. A man to drink il
successfully must hev his bowels glass-linet
and backed with fire brick. Eff 700 are not
seasoned to it, it kills you--ef your innards
are tanned to the pint Nv Twin under it, you
membrance are so tough that it hiz no heath
effeck. Still, l went cheerfrily.
When / got there found to my inexprcs
sible delite there wuzn't nothin NV it-that i
wuz all hoax started to make the great ant
good Horris uneasy. returned and stated
to 'em that had nipped the conspiracy in
tho hud but that IL he'd hoon on ovpono;y ~,