St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-05-03
ST. .5uhnsburn Galedonian.
St .,ohn.bur,. VT. Friday, May ,. 1872.
Humorous.

Sensible uOclolS ulSippIo\t vi dl''
hol. but believe in the cheering effects
of good spirits" on their patients.
4 man who has travelled through
New Jersey SAYS he >;Iw some lahu
there 81 poor that You c"uldt raise
disturbance on il.
An Irishman describing the growth
of potatocs in his native land. said. as
q clinrher. An sure, a hushel of them
will fill II barrel.
In the MATTER of revolution Mexico
beats the world. because the world
only makes one revolution Il day. while
in that time Mexico has half il dozen.
4 modest Young lady at the table.
desiring the leg of a chicken, said: Il
take the part which ought to wear
drawers" \ Young gentleman "ppo-
site. replied: I'll take the part which
ought to wear the hustle.
..Why doesn't your father take u
newspaper" asked Il man of IL little
boy whom he found pilterimg one from
his door step. Cause he 81 fa'h'r
send me to take it" WAS the reply.
JOAQUIN Miller is to lecture i'll New
England next fall. BY way OF AN adj
vertiSement he has deserted and been
divorced from his wife. has got engaged
to 4 Scotch pccress. and wears Il shirt
with pink DEMONSTRATIONS writhing on
ii green ground. Chicogo Past.
..Sam Sphinx and 81 others" ask these
hard questions of the Jubilee Commit
tee: WAS the band of the Grcnadier
Guards substituted for the Cold>trcamS,
for fear the latter would throw cold
water on the festival? Why is Il Low
ell Mason preferred to II Boston man
Would il few muscular dead beats he
accepted for the anvil chorus
Twenty five cent diamonds are he
coming so plenty among railroad brake
men that they are compelled to wear Il
piece. of carpet over their shirt bOSonIS
after dark. to avoid giving lantern sig
mails when moving about at stopping
places. Ciereldnd Leddcr.
Now we do not intend to tell Il big
story, and people VIII" have no appetite
for solemn fact can skip this item. But
there is ON exhibition in Alabama IL
rooster, whose head has been cut of
and yet which still lives, and 10 days
after decapitation. crowed - times.
George Forester. eX-memher of the
Legislature. and Col. K. :. Hetlin, eX-
member of Congress. have the rooster
in charge. but he has been seen and
handled bV reporters and other Cod
fearing and respectable people who
never held office. This rooster Is fed
with spoon victualS ladled into his crop.
His life previous to the guillotinr was
upright and bamcleSs, but he is now
being brought to New York.
A DECEIVED COUNTRYMAN.-A boy
went into the city agency yesterday
with Il jug To buy some whisky. OF
course the agent refused to sell to him,
whercupon ne went into the engine
house, next door. filled the jug with
water and took it to il gentleman from
the rural districts. who WAS waiting
near by. RuSticIIS was too much clatcd
with the success of his little scheme
and too much afraid of attracting at
tcntion to make amy examination. gave
the boy ten cents for doing the cIr;Ind,
having previously given him the money
to buy the whisky. and drove of tenn
porarily happy. He will probably
make no attempt To recover that mon
ey. 1t is doubtful if he ever relates
this anecdote. We predict Il brilliant
future for the boy. What II railroad
manager he would make Portland
Press.
BASE lNGRATITID DE. \ Detroit man.
who had contributed IL bundle of his
cast of clothing for the relief of the
victims of the Minnesota fire, received
from one of the sufferers the following
note:
The committy man Civ me, amongst
other things. wat he called Il pare ov
pants. and twood make me pant sum
to ware 'em. | found Your name an
where Nuu live III one ov the pockitS.
Ny wife latfed so when | Shode EN- to
her that thot she would have IL COMP
shun fit. She wants to know if there
lives and hrethcS Il man who has legs
no bigger than that. She said if there
was, he ortcr To he taken up for Vagrin
sy fur haVin no visible means oV sup
port. | couldn't get EN- on my oldest
boy, 50 | used EN- for gun cases. If
You hav another pare to spare. my wife
wood like to get 'em to hang up 10y the
side ov the fire place to keep the tongS
in"
TRACING 4 GENEALoGI.- 1t is of the
tlutG dumas, whose utllu Has Just Wt-
Cured. that the following story is told.
a stranger having heard with surprise
that Dumas was il quadroon, called
upon him to verify the fact.
IL am told, began the visitor, THAT
You are Il quadroon. Monsieur Dumas"
YES, answered Dumas.
''And your father ,"
WAS II muatto, the distinguished
Gen. Dumas, of the Amy of Italy and
Il mulatto," reared the author III tones
that left no doubt of the quality of his
lungs.
And his mother - continued the in
truder intcrrogatively.
WAS IL negro" shouted Dumas, ris-
ing to his feet.
"And who. may ] ask, was her moth
cr ," continued the cntcrprisimg and in
dctatigahlc bore.
AN ape sir. an ape ," thundcred the
indignant author. My family begins
exactly where yours ends waiter, show
that monkey the door
y Boston girl being asked if she had
not once been engaged to "a party 10y
the name of Jackson. who WAS AT the
time Harvard student, languidl\ re-
piled, Il remember the circumstance
perfectly, hut | am not certain about
the name
\ FABLE. certain rabbi had two
SONS, whom he and his wife temderly
loved Duty OBLIGED the rabbi to take