Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1872-07-24
ZOzimuS on Babies.

" Babies are bundles Of clothes with
yellow heads" Some months ago | re-
ceived letter from the Royal Geograph-
ical Society informing me that this defni.
tioq was inaccurate, as in tropical climates
babies had black faces and were frequent
ly found without any clothes worth speak
ing of, This | don't believe. | have Of
ten seen black men at st. james Hall and
elsewhere, but whoever saw black baby?
| wrote back, saying that if DR.. Living
stone when he came home brought among
his specimens of other insects any black
babies / should have great pleasure in in
spccting them and giving him certificate;
that is, provided they didn't prove stuffed
seals or large cockroaches.
There are great number Of babies in
the world. Most of them are, however,
kept out of sight in cradles, hen coops
attics aad old clothes baskets. A man
once told me that the reason of this is be-
cause if they were allowed to crawl aboat
the streets or the parks, no one could stir
out for fear of walking on them, or trip
ping over them, in either Of which cases
the people so doing could be prosecuted
by our friend Berg. ..
Babies are all nearly the same size.
When they are very small they are called
infants, and fed on butter aud brown sugar
and turpentine. Srmetimes the turpen.
tine rises to their head, and they behave
in most outrageous manner. Ionce saw
an infant who had drank too much tur-
pentine sitting on pillow on the ground,
and yelling with all its might at a most
respectable looking old lady, who was his
the infants grand aunt and had lot Of
money in the funds. Whenever the grand
aunt pointed her finger at the infant it
yelled louder than ever, and tried to bite
the finger. The grand aunt left the house
and settled all her money on an institution
for elderly unmarried women.
The education of babies is generally il
a very backward state; indeed, they dc
not know much about the English language
beyond the words papa" mamma,
'me," "go," "by" Their attempts al
French are even worse; they are contiual
ly using such low French as "ajou, ""day
day." 'ba-ba," and "by-by." A MAJ
once told me there can de no doubt that
babies are descended from negroes, fo
they always say "me" for II"
Babies do not differ much in temper
size or disposition. They are violent
about the size of pillow, and covetous
| once saw baby with corkscrew,
pair of tongs. hand bell, and broker
hearth brush, and nothing could induce i
to part from any of them, although it ha'
got the corkscrew half way into its ear
and the handle of the hearth brush al
together down its throat.
When you come near baby it stretch
es out its hand and clutches hold Of you
neck-te. This is, the mother tells you
a mark of high favor, and y sign that tn
baby desires to kiss you. When you stool
forward to kiss the creature it seizes yol
\ by the hair and every one but you laugh
and says what a precocious baby it is
When you sit down you are asked to hol'
the baby. You take it in your arms an
place it on your knee. Immediately
catches hold of your collar and tries. t
stand up on your best trousers withits dir
ty boots. If you don't allow it, the moth