Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-09-03
FOR THE SPECTATOR.
Letter from an Old Acquaintance-Dr.
Socks takes an Excursion Trip to the
White Sulphur!


Letter from an Old Aequaintance-Dr.
Socks takes an Excursion Trip to the
White Sulphur!
'sWhizzing through the mountains,
Buzzing DER the vale,
Bless mel this is pleasant,
Riding on Rail p'
DEER MosY:
DAYS ar embarmed side by side in
the sarkofagus of mi memry. Tha ar as fol-
lows: 1st, the day Of mi birth; I'd, the day L
first went to SIRIUS, and last, but not leest,
the 18th day of Orgust, 1872, when jined the
Churchyille Pharmar's Klub in their trooly
grand Exkurshun to the White Sulir In mi
went for it. | am an ornary member OF the
Pharmar's Klub-an agrooculturil and CASTRO
namikle institooshun which has for its objlck
the rasin of vittels and eetin of it all up alter
it is raised. Tha mete wunce a munth to talk
pharmin and etc big dinnirs. In the latter part
of the proceedings am alwais on hand and in
the korsamin departmint am regarded hi the
Klub as ''Modil Pharmer. Bein speshul
fayorit of the President, / received kordial
klergy: [ hav no doubt tina will send me a
shair of the phrophits when tina declar a divi-
den.
I left Big Owl at / o'clock Wensday mite an
made ure sitty bi da-lite. Polly rode behind.
Judge mi surprise when [ reeched the Depo to
find awl the foxes from mi eend of the kounti
sittin about on the fiat form-sum of EN- nod
din, sum of EN- rubin ther eyes, and sum of
EN- eetin of kole biskits. Tha were afrade the
ralerode mite leeve befor tina got in, and had
left home the evenin before to make sho thing
of it. Presently the CRATE Lokomotiv KUN
krawlin up the trak, snortin as she KUN, and
stoppin in frunt of the Merriken, the injin sed
foot! foot and the korndukter hollered 'awl
AFFORDED" SIGH maxim of trax nevir seed
but wunce before and that was when Jim Props
sot doun on humble bees nest and the inseZ
went fur him. To save trubble and be- free
man fur da I hurried Polly to the frunt to get
her checked to the White The baggige master
sed tina want given of chez, SO had her nnarkt
with chawk this side up with kare-C.O DID,"
AS the trane begun to move off who shood I
see kummin in a run up strete, but ole Davy
Slocum, from Whisky kreek, wavin of his han
kercher and hollerin for us to stop. The ole
gentlemun wur maxim bully good time but be
coodn't quite reech. The last glimps [ got of
him he wur leenin agin the lamp post wipin off
the SWEET, his undir lip hangin as 10 as Ike Ad-
ans ole boss hangs his head, and his eyes stra-
min after the hyin train.
In short time we hawled I'D at Swope's de-
pc and tux on the balunce of the kroud. 1t
wur trooly gratephul to mi feelins to receive
SIGH markt attenshun from the Klub. Tha awl
shuk me hartily by the hand and sed it woodn' t
hav bin no eXkurshun at awl if [ hadn't jined.
Kuruel Sturrups, the President, obsirved that
it wur the happiest da Of his life.
AVA sped the Ion Hoss-
"Singin thru the florists
Rattlin ovir ridges,
Shootin under archis,
Rumblin ovir bridgis ~
Evry body enjoyd the scenery along the rode.
and likewise the water miians and peeches.-
Jeems Tailor frum ure sitty, kun along sevril
times with his baskit of good things. Jeems
wore his sweetest smile and frequently remarkt
''Peeches, Ladies, Peeches." Wun ole lady,
takin it fur a trete, thankt him verri perlitely
and emptied the hui lot inter her sun bonnit.-
On the mex round Jeems KEEP his skinnd.
But here We ar at the phamus White Sulfr |!
and mite be elerQuent wer so disposed. AS
the luyly paner hammer burst upon our delited
VII evry bodi stopt eetin and gaised with rapter
on the butiful seen A kommitty of distin-
gwished visitors wur on hand to mete us. heded
bi Mr.. Jeems i. A. Trotter of Va. He had
stagis to ride us aroun the grouns, but most Of
the kroud prefrd to walk. DR.. Fuky, the he'd
boss OF RunneFs Pills, wur also thar, and [ i'm
braced the opportunity to renu mi stock Of that
wunderful fisk. Time wood fale me to tel all
u
sketch. Varius and sundri wur the surmises of
the ignorunt people at the springs as to who
we wur. One teller made site mistake and
sed it wur the 'Hoss Thefe Klnb." Another
declared it Wur the same party that hung Hold
ges, and lodged behint tree as | passed bi
him. He pinted to me and told his gal that I
wur the man who put the rope aroun Hodges
mex, wharupon she thru her arms aroun his
mex and skremed. [ presume must hav bin
lookin kinder savig at the time. Wun fashun-
able yung woman, whose shenon restid kum-
possibly on the top of her bussel, put her hang
kercher to her and Numbered whar the porr
"lmmigrunts" wur egoin. This poor CURL wur
lame and existed the simpithes of the hole
tax of the Saratoga Hop and Greeshun Bend,
which mite be eesily kured by putin Of q nu
heel on wun Of her shuse. The wa these hifa-
luting wimmen kiver their selves with phine
kloze is almost wuss than no kiyer at awl. 1t
ar shockin to kommon sense, if not an outraig
upon kommon desency. Mr.. Litener and my
self intend to haV Bill passed by the Legisla-
ter entitled, IAN Ak to prohibit yung wimmen
from deformin of themselves.
We walked in kupples around the butiful
grouns with nuthin to interrupt our enjoyment
but site sprinkel of rane and the disagreabul
odir OF hard billed aigs which the hooks wur a
gittin reddy fur dinner. Awl Of us then pro
seeded to the phamus spring and drunk from
the helth-givin founting. "A teller stood thar
and waterid us like as if we wur bosses. Sum
of the Big Bugs Civ him a half Dollar for his
trubble if emmy body wur lookin at EN-. [
watched mi chance when no beheld and han
ded him cents in specie. In the matter of
liberaiity as well as charity | make it a rool
never to let mi left hand kno what mi rite hand
doth. The White Sulfr is certinly a spring.
Jon Stovir sails it betes the "Loan Founting."
After drlnkln sulfr water till we awl smelt like
trlxlon matches, We went up to see the sites at
the big hotel. Mr.. Pating kindly showed us
around. He tux us first to the Bawl room
whar the yung men and wimmen dance awl mite
till broad da lite, and hug each other In the
mazls of the German Waltz. Then to the par-
Tor with Its splendid furniter and massiv mir
rors, in wun Of which Polly saw herself and
bowed. Thence to the tremenius dnin room
whar 900 people wur afeedin at wun time.
never seen vittles fiji so before. I thought the
Planners Klub nu how to eet but tina amt no
whar to these springs people. The fact is it
TUX nj stummlck. In passin back thru the
parlor, Polly, havin bekum exhausted, made
for vacant sete between Baltimore wimmen
drest in the hite of the fashun, Tha spred
their hoops to kepe her out but she went for
EN- and got IN. Then they kommenced edgin
OF and Polly kommenced spredin herself
Twas nip and tux for a good while but Polly
backed EN- both off in the eend.
Thar ar CRATE menny other things wood
like to tel u, but must bring this epistn to q
klose. Mr. Patlng urged me to sta over mite
and try on the German with sum Of the gals.