The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1872-10-30


but as 10 doing family duty, and keep
ing his farm in order, be found It i'm,
possible
! In fact be declared il was Of no use
to work on his farm, it was the most
pestilent little piece of ground in the
whole country everything about il
went wrong, IN spite ofhim- His fen
ces were continually falling TO pieces
his COW would either go estray, or
get among the cabbages weeds were
sure to grow faster in his fields than
anywhere else: the rain always made
a point Of setting in juss when be had
some out door work to do: so that
though his patrimonial estate had
dwindled away under his manage,
ment, acre By acre. until there was
little more left than mere patch OF
Indian corn and potatoes, yet it was
the worst kept farm in the neighbor-
hood
His children, too, We're as ragged
and wild as if they belonged TO no
body. His son Rip, an urehin begot-
ten in his own likeness, promised to
inherit the habits, as well as the old
clothes Of his father. BE was gener-
ally seen trooping Ike colt at his
mothers heels, equipped in pair Of
his fathers cast-off galIigaskins, which
be had as much ado to hold up with
one hand as fine lady does her train
in bad weather
Rip Van Wrinkle, however, was one
Of those happy mortals of foolish
well oiled disposition, who take the
world easy, eat white bread or brown.
whichever can be got with the least
thought or trouble, and would rather
starve on a penny than work for a
pound If left 10 himself, he would
have whistled life away in perfect
contentment; but his wife kept con-
tinually dinning in his ears about his
idleness, his carelessness, and the
ruin he was bringing on his family
Morning, noon and night, her tongue
was necessarily going, and every
thing he said or did was sure to pro-
duce a torrent ofhousehoid eloquence.
Rip had but one way Of replying to
all lectures of this kind, and that. By
frequent use had grown into a habit.
He shrugged his shoulders, shook his
head, east up his eyes. but said moth
ing. This. however. railways provoked
a fresh volley from his wife; 50 that
be was fain to draw of his forces, and
take the out side Of the house-the
only side, which in truth, belonged to
q hen-pecked husband.
Rips sole domestic adherent was
his dog Wolf, who was as henpecked
as his master; for Dame Van Winkle
regarded them as companions in idle
ness, and even looked upon Wolf
with an evil eye, as the cause of his
masters going so often astray True
it is, in all points of spirit be6iting
an honorable dog, be was as coura-
geous "A animal as ever secured the
wood-bnt what csarage can with
stand the ever-during and all-beset-
ting terrors of woman's tongue :
The moment he entered the house
his crest fell, his tail dropped TO the
ground or curled between his legs, he
sneaked about with q gallows air,
casting many a sidelong glance az
Dame Van Winkle, and al the least
flourish of the broomstick or ladle, he
would fy to the door with yelping
precipitation
But times grew worse with Rip
Van Winkle as years Of matrimony
rolled on; tart temper never mel
lows with age. and a sharp tongue is
the only edged tool that grows keen,
with constant use. For long while
he used to console himself. when driv-
en- away from home, by frequen;ing
a kind of perpetual club Of the sages,
philosophers, and idle personages Of
the village; which held its session on
a bench before a small inn, designa-
ted by rubricund portrait of His
George the Third. Here
they used TO SIT in the shade through
a long summers day, talking listless-
Iy over village gossip, or telling end
less sleepy stories about nothing
But il would have been worth any
money TO have heard the
profound discussions that sometimes
took place, when by chance an old
newspaper fell into their hands from
a passing traveller. How solemnly
they would listen to the contents, as
lrawled out by Derrick Van Bum
mel, the schoolmaster, a dapper
earned little man, who was not to be !
iaunted by the most gigantic word
n the dictionary and how sagely |
hey would deliberate upon public |
events some months afie. they had /
AIKEN place.
The opinions OF the junto were /
controlled by Nicholas
Y edder, a patriarch of the village,
md landlord of the inn, at the door
IF which he took his seat from morn
ng till evening, just moving sufficient
' to avoid the sun and keep in the
,hade of a large tree; so that the
leighbors could tell the hours by his
as accurately as BY sun
iial. II is true be was rarely heard
0 speak, bnt smoked his pipe inoes-
antlv. His adherents, however (for
very great man has his sdherents), /
perfectly understood him, and knew
low to gather his opinions When
that was read or related dis
,leased him, be was observed 10
mOke his pipe vehemently, and to
end forth short, frequent and angry
'uffs but when pleased. he would in
lale the smoke slowly and TRANQUILITY,
nd emit it in light and placid clouds;
nd, sometimes, taking the pipe from
lis mouth, and letting the yapor curl
bout his nose, would gravely nod his
iead in perfect appreciation
From even this stronghold the un-
lcky Rip was at length routed by his
wife, who would suddenly
reak in upon the tranquility of the
ssemblage and call the members all
D naught; nor was that august per-
Nicholas Vedder himself, sa-
red from the daring tongue OF this
srrible virago, who charged him out
ight with encouraging her husband
4 habits Of idleness. II