The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-08-23
All Sorts.

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for a young lady's school There
are many sights wholly unfit for
young ladies' schools.
An old farmer said of his clergy
man, whose sermons lacked point,
'Ah, yes, he's a good man, but he
will rake with the teeth upward"
John Wesley used to say: "Oh,
how hard it is to be shallow enough
for a genteel congregation" But
ministers have no difficulties of that
kind now.
At certain church fair, set OF
Cooper's works was promised to
the individual who should answer a
certain set of conundrums. A dash
ing young fellow was pronounced
the winner, and received a set Of
wooden pals.
The following note was sent to an
undertaken by an unhappy Widower:
"Sur,-my Wiaf is dead and Wonts
to be berried termorrow, at Woner
klock. o nose wair to dig the Hole
by the siad of my too other WHAT'S
Let it be deep"
A situation-seeking young lady
noticed an advertisement for one 10
do light housekeeping. She wrote
to the advertiser, asking where the
lighthouse was, and if there was any
way Of getting to the shore on Sun
days.
In the Catski1l Mountains still
stands the dilapidated and moscow
cred structure known as the "Rip
Van Wrinkle House" Tourists en-
route for the Mountain House in
valiably stop there, where refresh
ments for man and beast are dis
pensed.
And now comes Rev. S. B. Cleve-
Hand of Bloomfield, Conn, who send
a letter to the Meridian Republican
saying that, although he has loved
Gratz Brown for twenty-five years.
he can't help admitting that the dis
ltinguished Missourian was under the
Influence of "some intoxicatin drink
or drug" during that fatal night al
New Haven.
| A New Fairfield man who failed
to get thirty-cent pineapple for I
lquarter of q dollar, wanted to know
"whether we were breathing the pure
air of freedom, or being strangled
with the fetid breath of hellish des
potism." The stOrekeeper said those
were the only pineapples he had.
| At bording- house II Des Moines
recently, a man without hands and
only stub Of an arm was eating
with fork strapped to the stub
when asked: "Who do you vote
for?" he promptly replied: 'It is moi
necessary to ask low man will vote
, in this election when you know that
he has lost both arms in defence Ct
his country. Soldiers will vote fol
Grant"
The other day the Tribune pub
llished list of defaulters to the Gov
ernment. Of the men included il
the list, the New York Commercial
: saws: "Three of them are dead, fivl
are fugitives, and the other thirtee1
are'supporters of Greeley. There il
|, not defaulter in the country bu
favors Greeley's election. If ther
! is one that does not, he is as great {
curiosity as white elephant"
The Louisville Ledger does no
like Horace's second letter Of &C
, ceptance. It says: Democrats har
! walked up like men and sWalloWe,
. the Cincinnati pill-after it wa
sugar coated with the original lette
of construction. We had though
! this enough. But not so. Now
Just as we are enfeebled, faint, an
helpless, from the eauseating effeC
: of the dose, it seems the very refine
ment Of cruelty to be thus draw
across the knee of the grim old mai
6 and soundly spanked. But-any
. thing to beat Grant"
g An honest, thrifty, well-to-do Gel
, man in Connecticut city applied
a wealthy landlord who rents gres
: many houses. "The house is to le
l. certainly" said the owner, "and
! upon inquiry, I find you to be r
O sponsible and suitable man for
d tenant, you shall have it" "Vel
a goot, Mr.. H, you make just
e. many questions as you mind.
= takes the house when you gets ready
; Two days afterward the hOuse-ownC
called upon the German. well
it he said, Pve inquired pretty genera
e ly respecting your character an
d means, and as everybody speaks
YOU as an honest and respectab
# man of abundant property, you cs
p have the house" "Vell, den," sa
n Hans, 81 takes de house. And
v wants to tell you I've asked all abol
@ you among the peoples, and dey
say you is de meanest landlort in /
r town; but / takes de house all Il
az same,n