Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1872-03-22

anu IOTSWedr tny HdLue. Lct lily pcIniCiouS
name stand, aye, accursed in the catalogue
Court-We are making no progress in this
affair
Clerk-What, supposing l call all the names
in the box except John Smiths?
Court-Go on.
The Clerk called all the names except John
Smiths and there were only ten jurors in the
box, barring the Smiths.
Clerk told your honor, before, that there
were but eleven jurors in the box.
Court Counting the jurors and elevating
his dexter fore6nger at each individual he
counted 1t is even so; there were twelve be-
fore. Lucifer has dropped into the box, in the
shape of John Smith, and vanished again
without leaving the smell of birthstone behind
him. ICourt continuesl- sl-Let all the John
Smiths empanelled in the petit jury box stand
up, and accordingly one very diminutive indi-
vidual shot up, his head scarcely taller than
those of the other sitting members
At this crisis very good looking man upon
the jury, after looking carefully around him,
told the Court there were two different and
distinct jurors who answered to the name of
John Smith, to the best of his knowledge and
belief.
Silence, sir, interposed the Court, but the
remark had its weight with the Court for all
that; as the Court had affirmed before, there
were twelve jurors in the box, and afterwards
acknowledged there were but eleven.
Court-Sir, are you veritable John Smith,
John Smith-Ifi it please your honor, don't
understand "veritable.''
| Court-You don't2 Is your baptismal name
John2 Are you John Smith,
| John Smith-May it please the Court, never
was baptised.
Court-This is no time to trife with the
Court You don't understand "veritable?"
Do you understand keel-haul2 The Court
had been sailor once.
John Smith-No, sir ....
| Court-Well, if all the John Smiths were
keel-hauled, as they ought to be, they would
be baptised with witness. Answer the ques-
ltion sir, is your name John Smith?
John SMITH am so fabbygasted that l
hardly know my own name from any other
body's. believe my name is John Smith. I
could not conscientiously swear to it.
Court-What is your trade, occupation and
calling7 Report.
John Smith, am gunsmith.
Attorney GeneraEHe is son of gun.
Court-Are you not a nephew of old John
Cannon, of Cyres township
| John Smith-Yes, sir.
Court Musing.1 The family has degener-
ated wonderfully; he is mere pistol. Sheriff
stand nearer to the juror or he will go off like
his invisible namesake. :
Attorney General-The Court had better dis
charge him.
Court-Sit down, John Smith. Clerk see
to the grand jury, they are coming in.
| Clerk-Gentlemen of the grand jury; have
you any bills?
Foreman hold some bills in my hand, but
we have no quorum. Upon calling the names
in the grand jury room the right John Smith
was absent, and the John Smith, as he calls
himself and fancies himself a grand juror, is
not the one at all he is stranger to me-
! Grand jury here retired, but John Smith went
with them and succeeded in persuading them
that he was grand juror.
About this time the little John Smith hustled
up and manifested desire to be with the grand
jury, when the Court interposed.
| Court-John Smith, are you grand juror !?
! John SMITH don't know, sir. l am
juror.
Court-From what township
/ John Smith-Moon.
Court thought so. You have moon-strick-
4 en- the whole of US.
Constable-Make way for the grand jury.
Clerk-Gentlemen of the grand
Court-Call over their names.
And the names were called and the last man
who answered to his name was John Smith.
Clerk-May it please the Court the grand
Jury has quorum now, with John Smith.
| Foreman-Here are six true bills and four
lignoramuses.
Sheriff. it please the Court, think the
last John Smith that answered to his name in
the grand jury box is petit juror from Mid
dlesex township. Iknow him-he makes rifles
for shooting matches.
Court-He has rifed US out of days work
already. Call another petit juror, and let us
proceed to business.
Attorney General-Ifthe Court please, now
see a doubtful twilight dawning on the myste-
Try; we have the corporeal John Smiths here,
but think they are each in the wrong box.
Court-Sherif, bring in your list of grand
and petit jurors. And he brought in two
boards, with the names of the jurors pasted on,
, which looked like two tombstones inscribed
with eulogies written in short metre. The
!, Court carefully read the lists of the Sheriff,
from which it appeared that little John Smith,
of Moon, was grand juror, and John Smith,
of Middlesex, who had usurped the grand jury
box, was petit juror. The township alone
!. from whence they came, could distinguish be.
' tween the two John Smiths, gunsmiths.
Clerk-John Smith, of Moon, you may retire
sir. John Smith, of fMiddlesex, you may retire
D sir.
9 The two John Smiths would have retired ir
: the arms of Zimmerman, and remained in soli
tude forever, had not the Court interposed ant
4 said, in a loud voice John Smith, of Moon, e