Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1872-01-18
BREyITIES.

1T i@U 4 the edsltSt III tut "oiiu w
put blister on hedgehogs back; but
we ought not to say ii is impossible.
Osg of the Chicago papers laments
that they could not have kept their great
fire until the arrival of the Grand Duke
Alexis.
A PERSON looking at some skeletons the
other day, asked a young doctor present
where he got them. He replica: We
raised them"
WHAT THEY ARE LIKE
Two cute lawyers
Are like two aawycrs:
The one doth pull the other thrust
And a. the objects slowly rent asundcr,
Between the one at top and tother under,
Down comes the dust.
YE IsFAST PRODIGY Maggie" Why
is your hair SO gray, mammay Mamma
-" Well, because you're such a naughty
child sometimes" Maggie" What a
naughty child yOn must have been. Poor
grandma's hair is quite white"
THE following appears in the cemetery
at Malaga:
Here lies Jean Perez, who wac
Good father good son. and good husband
Do not confonnd him with his younger brother,
Bearing the same name, VINO wac a icioh
In the gaeys at Ceuta."
"PAPA," said bright haired boy, show
tOuIH INT iUllltdIy ny lioii tb' lNih ~
battle, when they had only one plume
apiece, and both wings of the army were
thrown into great disorder? Say, papa,
how could they fly"
TIE landlord of the hotel at the foot Of
Ben Nevis tells n story of an Engishman
stumbling into bog between the noun
tain and the inn, and sinking up to his
armpits. In danger Of his life, he called
al In in
by, GLOW can | get out Of thisy" to which
the Scotchman replied, 81 dinna think ye
can" and coolly walked on.
As the passengers were preparing to
leave their seats on the arrival OF the New
York train in Boston, the other evening,
an old gentleman picked up a dark object
which appeared to drop from lady's
bonnet MADAM, is this yoursy You
appear to have dropped it by accident"
"Thank you, sir" placing her hand to
her head "a railroad accident-a mis-
placed switch"
THERE is as yet no means OF communl-
cation with the guard or engineer on Eng
lish railroads, and recently train mar
rowly escaped destruction in consequence.
Such would have been its fate if one OF
the passengers, at the risk of his life, had
on the footbOards to the guards van.
Several years ago an act OF Parliament
was passed requiring all the companies TO
adopt some mode of communication, but
none of them paid the slightest attention
to il
ONE of the best looking of the boys of
the box on the Broadway bus line took me
| into his confidence not long since. In re-
\. txsh Irtty
| or should make day, he said "Wcll, a
good driver" (mcaning by this, one who
! Is tactician enough to get fifteen or sixteen
| in his stage at once) fought to go home
| with five to seven dollars in his pocket,
out,ido Of rn COLA "a nd tobacco; tbatis when
ridin's good, you know. We hain't no
ridin' to speak of since war times. Them
was the times for the stamps. I've know
ed the day that I've took in twenty five
dollars" When the proprietors know
very well that the drivers all knock down,
why" said /, didn't they pay the men
enough to live on ~ Between you and
me, +" said he, eff they paid us ten dollars a
| day we'd steal. "--Cola IN Neac York Cone
merciui 1drertiSer
AMONG the many improvements of
cities which the enforced rebuilding in
Chicago has suggested is that Of heating
the entire town with steam in manner
very similar to that by which it was for
merly lighted-by means of pipes running
under ground from some central reservoir
to each house, thus doing away forever
with the annoyance caused by bad coal,
damp wood kindlings, etc 1t may be
doubted, says the New York Times,
whether the time is ripe for SO extensive
an improvements; but when we remember
that steam may be forced through these
pipes to an immense distance with a very
slight diminuton of heat, and at the rate
of seven miles per minute, it does indeed
seem as if the day could not be far dis
tant when a practical application shall be
made of what has long been theoretically
admitted
THE Attn Cdlitmnia gives the following
as genuine impromptu composition Ia
Billings, made recently by little girl in
the fifth grade of the Rincon Grammar
School "A goat is stronger than a pig.
He looks at you and so does the doctor,
but goat has four legs. A boy without
a father is an orphan, and If he amt got a
mother he is two orphan. The goat does
not give SO much milk us cow but more
than an OK. | saw an OK to the fair one
day, with card tied on his left ear and we
all went in on the family ticket. Mother
| picks geese in the summer. A goat eats
grass and jumps on box. Some folks
don't like goats, but as for me give me a
mule with paint brush tail The goat is
a useful animal, and smells as sweet as bars
oil for the hair If had too much hair
would wear a wig as old captain peters
does. will sell my goat for three dollars
and go to the circus to see the elephant
which is bigger than five goats. Father
is coming home, and the baby has got the
Group"
STORY OF A BULLFINCH A musician
employed at one of the Tendon theaters
possessed an ebony flute with silver keys.
He seldom used it, in consequence of the
imperfect upper notes. The musician
had as ledger tailor who worked for
the thcater. A strong friendship sprung
up between the two. One night, while
the musician was at the theater, the flute
was stolen, and suspicion fell on AN old
woman who usad tn do houspWOrk