The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-12-05
SOCIAL DISSECTERS.

FoicsH4O'A VI t]|SSeCtI"U. / here Is n
class Of people in every city, and in
every large village, that makes a
daily practice Of dissecting a sub
ject; and had l the choice, | would
far sooner resign my dead body TO
the sharpened knives of the disci-
pies Of Esculapiu than I would
yield my living self to this latter
and meaner class of Social Dissect.
ers.
This class is usually composed
of wealthy people, who rejoice in the
appelIa'ion Of "aristocracy" They
dress we'll, live well and are fire.
quently very we'll read. Lawyers
wives, merchants wives and ply
sic'an's wives, all constitute the S.
DIS. 1t is not an organized society
and new members are allowed to
join at any time, if they bring the
proper requisites of stylish apparel,
and plethoric purses and not too
much brain. ANY one who is we'll
supplied with rhat article, cannot
unite with the s D's-but on the
contrary will become a subject for
their dissection.
Subjects are always in demand;
for the tongues of the s. D are at
all times sharper and keener than
ali the knives in all the medical COL
leges in the land and use only
MAXI them sharper.
Consequently subject is 1umma-
rily disposed of, and If strangers do
not present themselves, they are Of
ten obliged to turn upon each 9TH
er.
This dissection begins something
in this wise. Social Dissecter No. l
calls on S. D No. ,, and says,
81 have just been calling upon
Senator AS wife; you know they
are stopping in the city now +"
Eyes, SO [ have heard" responds
No. 2 'How do you like her ?"
ooh, she is quite pleasant; was
dressed beautifully; bat [ guess she
has always lived in the country.
poor thing. She seems to think all
The city people are trying TO swindle
her."
No. l departs and No. 3 goes
calling, or informs her next caller,
that Mrs Senator A., poor thing
is Spending her first season in the
city-and is so bewildared that she
scarcely knows what to do with her
self makes herself quite ridiculous
in fact, talking about city swind-
lers.
So the story goes, until it as
snmes immense proportions when
the s. DIS all meet together, an
compare notes. each having heard
a separate story /; and thus Mrs. A.
is dissected 50 completely that there
is very little of her left.
The truth of the matter is, she
had remarked to S: D. No. ], du-
ring the latter's call, that she had
been busy all the morning sending
East for samples of drygoods, which
she desired to purchase. II had
thought of purchasing here" said
she, ssbut the prices are high. and
the goods not what is wanted-and
| am sure can do better by send
ing East" Out of this remark
grew the ''swindling'' scandal.
If a newcomer arrives, who sports
40 elegant wardrobe, and jewelry
which quite outshines the s. DIS,
they set her down as cain and f1sv-
oZ0us. s@
No. / tells No. 2 what disgust
ing display she Che new-comer)
makes Of her jewelry, and concludes
that it is quite evident she is vul-I
gar person, whose chief aim is dress
and display.
II the newcomer dresses simply,
and wears no jewelry, but complete
Y shames tho magpie portion Of the
y. DIS, with her brilliant converse
tional powers and well-informed
mind. they set her down as "a
very chatty sort Of a person, but to-
tally devoid Of style, and evidently
lacking in TASTE"