Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-03-28
MIcELLANE0 Us IIT,E MSl

Cor. Springfield Republican (AI1ti adm.
MTCELLANEO US II,EM Il 4
An exchange says: "The real author
,f Beautiful Snow is now driving a
ish-cart in Brattleboro, Vermont" So
he has exchanged his pegasus for dom
Key, and instead of scaling the empyre-
an heights, he scales fish.
Euchre is the latest missionary agent.
Two young men ofTaylor's Falls, Min
nesota, played the game on a recent
Sunday to decide whether they should
20 to church in the evening. And they
went. The general Introduction ofthis
oracle would doubtless be productive
Of great reform.
It-is fashionable While eating dinner,
to hold book in one hand, and while
and deglutition are in pro-
gress to imbibe modicum of mental
pabulum. Swallow that, will yon?
An exchange notes the fact that a hen
has been laying an egg with the inscrip-
ton in raised letters, "War in 1872
England and America" When the
hens commence prophesying what may
we not expect?
Ifs squirrel on tree, move around
the trunk as fast as man does around
the tree, does the man pass around the
squirrel? This question is pdzzling our
young philosophers at present and is a
hard nut to crack.
"Papa," said a bright little boy, chow
could the military fly from the field OF
battle, when they only had one plume
apiece and both wings of the army
We're thrown into great disorder? Say,
papa, how could they fy?" rs
A man sent his boy for forty cents
worth of cigars and he was to bring for
ty cigars of three different Kinds; one
kind to cost four for one cent, another
four cents apiece and. another two cents
apiece-how many of each kind did he
get?
'What time is it, my dear?" asked
a wife of her husband; whom she sus-
pected of: being drunk, but who was
doing his best to look sober. ''Well,
my darling, l can't tell; cause, you see,
there are two hands Oh my watch, and
each points to different figure, anu
don't know which to believe"
The first organ, built in America was
constructed for Edward Bromtieid, jr.,
in Boston, in 1745. In 1852 Mr.. Thomas
johnson built an organ for Christ
Church, in this city. The first foreign
organ ever put up in Boston is presumed
to have been the one erected in Kings
Chapel in the year 1714.-lBoston Ad-
vertiser.
A deacon in Connecticut town, one
I day last week, discovered a big dog
prowling round his yard. and sth0ltghl
he might do some injury to- valuable
plants. So up went the window and
out went one of the deacon s best "Sun.
day-go-to-meetin' boots. The dog
grabbed the boot and disappeared, and
at last accounts neither dog nor boot
had been heard from.
Parton-s says: "If awoman was tstill e
to te-hairged she wouid ask, Have | 8
dress that will hang weli?"
! eftSO you are going to keep school?
said.a y0libgIady TO her maiden aunt
well, for my part, sooner than do that
1 would narry>a widower with nine
children" 'Iwould prefer that Enyself, D
was the quiet reply, ''but where is the
widower?n KS - Z
A patient complained to hisphysician
that lie, was pursued by q ghost the
luigiIt before, as be vas going hcme from
Itha tavern tWhat shape was it?''
asked the doctor. .'In the shape sof a
| jaek-ass, said the man. F. 60 homer
replied the physician keep sober =
You wrre drunk last night, and fright
ened by your own shadow.
h-Xu oidlgentlenlan saw a ladder EIaced
against his daughters window be at once
raised the cry offire, and commenced to
dash water on The ascending sparks u
Naomi, the daughter of Enoch, was
five hundred and eighty years ldlp when
she wasmarried. There's hope for some
of you other ladies, after all.
Out West the synonym for "retirfDg''
is "Gollaxing." Pal ents no longer adj
monish their children that sit is time
To go % bed, "but tenderly observe, IN v
dariiug, IL is time you ColfaxedN
The St. Louis girls were so Gadiy
frightened by lhe Experience OF Que OF
their number v no dislocated her neck
y lille resisting kiss, that they now
hold their lips i'll the softest and most
com fotable position whenever tney gee
a man any where near q NHos1- /
This will soon be the song q. the seed.
Put US in our little beds"
Sunday out.-Betsey: "Shall GU be
a goin' out this afternoon, mem?'i Mis-
ttess: II think not, Deisey." Befsey:
!" Cos yer can II yer like, [ don't want
TO go out.p Fun.
Domestic young lady (making a pie {
Frank, the Kitchens no place foILoys
Hasthe dough such an attraction for you.
Clever y outh-"I It sn'tthe dough. cotf /.
in-it's the dear!''
A little girl down East who was Inn
patiently waiting the tardy move ments
of her mother q few Sabbath mornings
since cried out, "Come mamma, the BELLS
atollin' and Dod's awaitin'. :"