Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1872-05-02
Wit and Hnmnr.

RED couple Is supposed TO mean that
the chances of matrimony are varr
slippery.
THEODORE Triton, of the Golden
Age, exclaims: Save me from Goa
who dams r. We should like to do 4
my boy, but the thing is impossible
C0uTieT-JOuyWdt.
He MUsT HAVE BEEN WATER-TIGHT
A clergyman, who was reading to his
congregation a chapter in Genesis
found the last sentence on page to be
"And the Lord gave unto Adam
wife" Turning over two leaves to.
gether, he read on as follows "And
she was pitched without and within"
He had unhappily got into 4 descrip.
ton of Noah's ark.
A MAIDEN lady who had once beer
Tilted, wrote her own epitaph as fol
| lows:
Here lies the tody of one
Who died of constancy alone;
Stranger! advance with steps courageous
For the disease is not contagious.'
"ANGELINA, my anger, can you tell
me why your lovely eyes are like friends
separated by distant climes 2" "No,
Augustus. can't Tell me, Oh, tell me
why they're thus" because they
correspond. but never meet"
A PAINTER being asked TO estimate
the cost OF painting certain house.
drew forth a pencil and paper and made
the following calculation: A naught
is a naught: three into five twice you
can't; I'll paint your house for fifty
dollars.
AMAS ont West turned states evi.
dence, and swore that he was men,
Der of a gang of thieves. By and by
they found the roll of actual members
and accused the man of swearing
falsely. 4 was member" said the
man, "l"-happy thought-''I was
an honorary member
THEY have had a great revival at Kan
sas CITY. One of the reclaimed, &C
companied by the preacher, went to get
tooth pulled at dentists, the other
day, and, after strong pull at the
laughing gas, rather astonlshed his
pious brother by shouting: Keno!
Sixty-siX. that's my game y
LAST week farmer sold butcher in
Syracuse, very young veal, which
| the meat inspector condemned, and it
became the property OF the city. The
! butcher then demanded return of his
money. But it didn't work, the farmer
being too shrewd for the butcher. He
refused saying, " | only sold you the
/ hide,
DuRrNG the conference at Worcester,
| the following dialogue was overheard
! between two newsboys: = say, jim,
what's the meaning of SO many minis
! ters being here all together9' "Why,
answered jim, scornfully, they al
ways meets once year to exchange
sermons with each other"
THIS Is a Germans account of his ex-
perience ON shipboard in storm: I"
feels dem big wave hit der ship, | hears
dem crockery dishes go smash get
me out of NINE berth to see what's de
matter; / make myself on my head
two time | gets in my berth pretty
quick, you bet; no gets up till now!
! What YOU do. How you like EN-, haF
The Danbury News tells of lady
stranger who accosted little, shabbily-
dressed lad in that town, and said:
"Where is your home. my little son =
Il hain't got no home" he answered.
SCOT no home?n she repeated, the
tears standing in her eyes, "No
marin, said he equally effected; Il
board.
A MAN once put ON his gate a placard
bearing the legend "No admittence. ="
Two gentlemen passing by, one of them
remarked Il cannot understand how
any one in these days OF general educa
ton could do thing like that. = ooh
it's all right enough, replied the other.
:" The man thought that the best way
to keep the people out was to put an
evil spell upon his gait
One who assumes to know, says that
vomanlv despair for the loss of lover
endures three months in the winter and
( two months in the summer; the second
month lady becomes interested in the
new style of hair dressing; the third,
\ she burns her love letters. Twelve
months afterwards, she hears of her
former loves marriage and wonders
chow she could have loved man with
a red moustache."
Is this which we find in the Cork
I Irish) Telegraph a bull2 Tim Field
was fined IS. Cd for attempting to
drown himself, the magistrate hehev-
ing that he had no intention of com
hitting suicide" Filming a man for
attempting what the court thought he
didn't attempt, seems to be very Ill
bernian blt of Jurisprudence.
SEVERAL years ago the landlord OF
the Half Way Hotel, between Catskll
and the Mountain House, remarked one
day to the proprietor of the last named
hnstelrin :. Ain't dnino mnch tele.