davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27
NOTICE..

FL Nc about to leave for Europe for the
/ } Srason. | have this day given II full
power of attorney to my brother, Mr.. JnrOb
J.. kaliSki. Thanking til" public for past
faVOrS, I ask II cOntin,ianc" OF their liberal
patronage while absent. shall return on
or about the fSt nfS"pt"nbcr.
Respectfully, DAVID KAIISki.
Monroe. IT,, March 30, iS72.-in
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27

PRICES AS LOW AS ANY MARKET.
September ~. lSIl. 52-tnt
no THE PLANTERS or OUACHIrA
AND ADJACENT PARISHES.
take pleasure in Informing my friends
and patrons that have established u Com
mission House in Monroe, with the view Of
doing General Commission and Western
Produce EuSucsS.
will regularly be in receipt OF
PORK, BACON. FLOUR,
HAY, CORN, OATS, BRAN,
WAGONS, rI.oWS,
FARAilNG IMPLEMENTS, AND
GENERAL PA NT.\TION SIrPPIIES,
which will sell III the very lowest market
price.
AS receive on consignment, direct from
first hands, and sell only for cash. l can fur
il not lower, than amy house in North Lou
siuna.
Particular attention will be paid to filling
ORDERS my long experience in and close
personal attention To which WILL I feel as
Sured, give entire satisfaction. Cash, how
over, must accompany each order to ensure
the hlling of II.
Soliciting tho patronage OF my friends and
ia" public generally, I rcntain,
Very respectfully,
GEO. CHAM BERI.AIN
Monroe, March .. 1872. 25tf
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27
NEW ORLEANS CARDS

NEW ORLEANS CARDS..
HAVANA ROYAL LOTTERY.
The next Ordinary Drawings will take
place April 10th, May 9Th, May 23rd,
June Sth and June Goth, with Five Capital
Prizes:
One Prize of.......................... 100000
One Prize ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. $4,000
One Prize ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 10000
One Prize of....................:..... 5000
And 544 other Prizes.
Those wishing to try their luck in an
Honest Lottery will do we'll to apply i'll time
for further information to the Headquarters
in New Orleans or send their orders to Mr..
MANUEL BoRNIO, first sub-collectOr of eN-
portation ut Havana, through his cOrrcspon-
dents, BORNIo Il BROTHER, New Orleans,
wholesale dealers and importers Of Havana
Cigars and Leaf Tobacco.
Iass- Prizes of all denominations will he
cashed at any time, ut the lowest rates, by
the above named firm, i'll New Orleans. No.
- Gravicr street.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27

Fine Cogniac, fine Whisky, California,
Port and Sweet Wines, Caiawba Brandy.
London Crown Gin, Seheidam Schnapps,
old Madeira, all to be found 1T Drom"oolc :
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27

4 smile re-cnrcs the wonnding Ola frown,
And Dromgoole's is the cheapest place in
town.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-04-27

Il. FITZwILIIAM. NJ. r. DUNN.
~ FITZWILLIAM n co.,
.S1atioHets, lob P,'i'ste,s Blank Book ZaJ' c|s
rs Camp Street and q Bank Place,
NEW ORLEANS.
Orders for Autographed or printed Checks,
Books of all kinds, promptly filled ut lowest
rates. November II, 1871. S:3m
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

When the late Tom Corwin was quite
young man he was elected member of the
General Assembly of the State of Ohio and
early in the session he brought in bill for the
destruction OF the public whipping post He
made an earnest speech in favor of the mea-
sure, 10 which an elderly member replied, as
follows: " Mr. Speaker tn" gentleman is not
as old as | am, and has not seen as much 0t the
practical operation OF the system OF punlsb-
ment which he desires to abolish. When l
lived in Connecticut, if fellow stole horse,
or cut up other antics, we used to tie him up
and give him real good thrsshing; snd he
always cleared right out, and we never saw any.
thing more uf him It's the best way of get
ting rid OF the roGues that ever was tried, and
without expense to the State" Mr. Corwin,
who never failed to carry his point by joke,
| if the argument was against him, only made a
| brief reply MIR Speaker, l have often been
puzzled to account for the vast emigration
/ from Connecticut to the West but the gentle
man last up has explained it to my satistac-
ton" 1t is almost needless to say that Mr..
Corwin's bill passed by an overwhelming
| maiority.'
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31
Castor Oil.

Breathes there man with soul so dead that
he does not rec0lIect the castor Olllng which |
his poor machine used to undergo at stated |
periods OF his life? To castor oil a child OF TWO
or seven years of age requires three or four |
strong women, a spoon, magnum bottle OF
the fluid, lump OF sugar, towel jumping
jack and a seraphic temper. The lrst motl"n
Is to endeavOr to ring in the medicine on the
unsuspectng babe thinly disguised with milk.
This maheuver failing, you parley with the
enemy and attempt to corrupt its lntantlle
integrity with bribes Of pas gold watch, i'm
perial revenues of small change. and Hespen
des of small oranges. After having tempted 1t
thrice to put the spoon OF Tantaus to its lips
it re Uses point blank to touch the nasty thing.
! Thereupon your Surcharged Indignation hndS
vent in ccrporcal cha>ti~ement of he rebelllOu>
infart. 1t howls Peace being restored, you
bring up re enforcements, and, strategy and
diplomacy having failed, determined to accept
norhng but unconditional surrender, and pre-
pare to march at once upon the enemy =
works. A e and combined attack is made.
The left wing firmly holds the child's hands.
The right wing pinches its nose, so as to
compel it to open its mouth, into which the
centre pours a deadly fire from the spoon
Meanwhile the reserve holds up a lump OF
) sugar, commlserately saying. poor lit
tootsy pootSy, was it nassy medley, eh! anC
keeps the towel ready. Th" baby yellS anC
q chokes, the young mother, afraid IT killing it
o lets go of its nose. the infant, catching breath
- discharges the whole dose upon her, and ruin
. all the front breadths, Of her black silk, an
4 follows up its advantage by SO heart breaking
, yell that the attacking party surrender q
, discretion and calls it poor, injured, mamsie
own tootens, and it won't take any more mass
- castor oil, if it don't want to" A treaty
Re peace is then ratified, whereby the infant
n ceded immunity from castor oil, and an amp
- indemnity 10 lollipops, and then the moth
c enters into a war with the infants CRANE
py mother, who vigorously reprehends the veal
-. ness exhibited in dealing with children now
nd days People have tried all sorts OF expec
,ts ents. Taken it in milk; IN soda waie
n. from hot spoon every way. But no lat
az ev Franklin has ever been able to overcome al
~. annihilate the nastiness of taking castor O
On 1t has sluggish cold aperiant look about
81 like an i'll, omened pool in a deadly swamp.
oal uncoils itself into the fatal spoon like boil
w rattle snake 1t tastes like molten graveyard
80 - But the feeling, when it has been achieved.
he that ones inside is full OF earth worms a
:: cork -ScrpWS
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31
More About Dolly Warden,

Dolly Warden was very nice girl and very
good girl If it were otherwise thy
wouldn't have named striped dress goods,
smoking tobacco, and agricultural implements
alter her.
Dolly's father was very humble man. He
has also been dead for some time; but he
hadn't any Dolly before his name, and
consequently his name won't be cherished
Dolly grew up as children often do. She had
her struggles with rash, Group, measles, whoop.
ing cough aud such things, and got the better
of them When ten years old she was the
handsomest girl in London. She continued to
grow handsome as she grew older, and at
seventeen was an angel. She had forty
admirers at this time, every one OF whom
insisted on sitting up with her on Sunday
night She had to range them around the
room and take her place in the centre and
''spark' them in rotation. None OF them were
lower than lord, and she hadn't it in her
heart to turn any one away. 1t was probably
this sitting up which killed her. She
hadn't pursued it more than forty nights
before she hegan to fade. Sitting up with
: forty lords forty nights was the same as sitting
with one lord tor sixteen hundrel nights.
Some American girls may woader that she
broke down under IL; but Duly Was angelic
aud frail.
Dolly finally died. The forty lords attended
tle IuO6raI III a DOug' 0dCilOu hlO"'hs Ibot on
would have married hiE: but for the unfortunate
. circumstance The funeral was grand affair
. and every one did the best to make old ma
7 Warden enjoy it; but the poor man couIdn I
- He pined and faded, AMI in about twenty-fv
= years hi< heart broke with grief, and he Wa
laid beside the daughter.
= This is .ll-th ,se are all the reasons for
- dolly Warden excitem mt in dry goods an
- other 90 m.. But these are enough. An
N young man who will liberatey swear that
u won't we,r " D 'y Yard n shirt hosom-an
- man WIN goes back Oh :" d lily Ward n car
-, any farmer who won't buy Dolly Va
or or den" n h,yel-anv hntel keeper who won't ha,
or or dolly Warden puddings-in fact, any one VI
i. will malicously sneer at the poor dead girl,
= refuse TO be "Dolly Varl"ned" ought to
-, shot with a ceaver Detroit Free Press.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

"fives," and have burst two pairs each IN con-
sequence. Twenty-Five young ladies have |
viewed the preparations with the most pointed
contempt. Ii is the general opinion among
them that Miss Jinks and Miss Winks have be
come too forward. and they insinuate to one
another, in artful whispers. that Misses Jones
aud Smith would appear In better taste AS
brides than as bridemaidS.
Some curious and at the same time valuable
statistics might be gathered from the frequency
with which certain young ladies' appear as
brldemaids, with view of ascertainlng there
from their chances for marriage. The problem
would be: given young lady and all indefinite
number Of bridemaidshIps, how many of the
latter would it take to make bride; or stated
in the form of a proportion, it would read:
| a.. b.: n: C
in which equals the lady, b the bride, n the
number OF tunes u has acted as brihemaid, and
&c the number of times it would be necessary to
act as bridemaid to become bride. The last
term is the unknown quantity, and it gene
rally remains unknown. Certainly there would
be but little trouble and no expense in securing
statistics the parties interested would hasten
to give information that would soothe sister
in distress and comfort many spinster' s heart
The information, perhaps, might be furnished
in this manner: Miss A would REPORT her sue
cess as a bride after her tenth participation il
"a bride without ever serving as "a brldemad-
this is a case of arrested development. Miss
in despair at her twelfth Improbable expert
} ence as brdemaid, precipltately retired to
I nuunrry. Miss ID, after her fourteenth, jOine
: the Womsn's Rights movement. Miss E.
r uckess girl-was engaged after her first tria
q but the match was broken off, through no fau
d of hers, and she was condemned to wad
through seven years-in which time she serve
e thrice as a bridemaid before she was marrieI
= The Misses f, q, II, and became brides aft,
r each had served twice as bridenIaid. NJ j.
!. but we need not complete the list we hay
l, shown enough to excite interest in the matt
1t in hand.
le If such table of probabilities were to be a
u ranged with due mathematical precision, OI
a could not begin to Imagine the solace it won
IT afford to these ladies who have nothing mo
he i'm portant to be concerned about than brld
st maids. How preferable for them to pore Ov
81 statistics than grow hysterical over a novel
r. study figures placed in so suggestive juxt
a p0sit on than snivel over the passionate
lc- clamatons of the puppets of story; to f0ll
IN with unialtering interest the processes of ad
ey ton and subtraction, than whine over the
he tricacies of plot. An insurance compa
lot might be started, based upon these statIsti
Tor Wedding dowries could be discounted witht
Ia the least hesitation, and the present worth
sh wedding presents TO be given In the dim tul
could be reckOned with the stIlctest accura
ry Marriage would thus he wed to mathemat
AS and every bri1emaid would carry about ht
en- table of ogarithms. and learn by heart the /
elm blems Of the calculus. In fact, there is no
ave to the suppoSitions arising from the consldt
her ton of the present subject.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31
How Paper Collars are Made.

One hundred and fifty million paper collars,
it has been estimated, are yearly used in the
United States; and statistics show that even
this immense number Is steadily increasing as
improvements in the manufacture multiply.
The collars are made in two varieties: of
paper and cloth combined an 0f paper alone.
The best materials are used IN the m,nutrc nIe
Of the paper. 1t is supplied in heavy white
sheets, sixteen by thirty six inches in dimen
sionS, weighing lbs pounds to the ream.
The sheets are embossed to initiate CLOTH
To produce this effect, muslin is tightly
strr tched and pasted on plates of tin correspon-
ding in size TO the sheets of paper. Between
pairs OF plates thus prepared the paper is aid,
about fourteen sheets at a time being thus
arranged, make a pile of alternate layers OF
paper and tin. The whole Is then passed
between heavy steel rollers, the pressure being
sufficient to imprint the threads of the cloth on
the paper, SO that a perfect fac sinaite is thus
obtained.
Each sheet is then polished by passing il
over swiftly revolving brushes, when it is ready
to be transformed into collars. The paper Ii
next sent to the Flushing loft, where, by means
of movable dies made of steel, with edge
shsrpened so as to penetrate the msterla
readily, the collars are cut out. A heap o
sheets, about eighty in number, is arranged
, under press, the die placed upon them, ant
the nress set in motion. A single stroke cut
, through the paper, and the collars are shaped
They are now perfectly fat, destitute of butto
holes, and besides, must be moulded beior
they are ready for packing.
At one end of the loft are large rolls c
E starched muslin, which is cut up into Gttl
!, elptical bits called "patches," which ar
: pasted on the extremities and middle OF tn
: collar Their object is to give the button hole
the necessary strength aud to prevent theI
4 tearing out when soaked by perspiration.
= = very ingenious machine puts on the patches
j, cuts the button holes impresses the initatio
= = Of stitches on the border, folds the collar an
! stamps its size on it, all in one motion.
. The collars as fast as they are finished
- this machine, are bent or folded so as to tit II
y . neck. The moulding apparatus accomplish
% its work with astonishing quickness, althoug
q it may be fairly considered as rivSled in rapi
"a ity Of motion by the girls who pack the cola
~ in the hoxes. A bundle of dozen is made u
=. and twisted into its receptacle as il by magl
n each girl packing 10000 collars per day. III
4 last process is to label the boxes, place the
- in cases, and the goods are ready for Il
- market.
J. The cloth lined collars are the more expe
4 sive OF the two varieties. They are made
!. paper to which mu-lin, either, white or colore
40 is firmly pasted, 30 that no snbossng
- necessary. and are cut out and finished in q
~ same manner as above described. Cuffs al
~ ~ false shirt bosoms go through the same pr
,a cessrs, dies being used of the required forms
~ ~ Scientific american.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31
WHOLE NO. 900
Ferguson's Cat.

There was a man named Ferguson,
He lived on Market street;
lie had a speckled Thomas cat,
That couldn't we be beat
He'd catch more rats and mice and sich
Than forty cats could eat.
This cat would come into the room
And climb upon a cheer;
And 't..Ip he sit and lick hissek
And purr 80 awful queer
That Ferguson would yell at him
But still he'd purr-severe.
And then he'd climb the moonlit fence,
Aud loaf around and vowl.
And spit and claw another cat
Alongside of the jowl,
And then they both wou!. shake their tails,
And jump around and howl.
But while a curvin' Oi his spine,
And waiting to attack
A cat upon the other fence,
There came an awful crack:
And tins here speckled Thomas cat
Got busted in the back
When Ferguson came down next day,
There Law his old feline,
And not q life was left Of him,
Although he had had nine;
"And this has come. says Ferguson.
"Ofcurvin' of his spine -
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

FLIES AND SMALL PoX The great abun-
dance of Aies, not only in the city, but in every
part cf the country, has led to much specula-
ton as to the cause. Some contend that 1t is
an indication of a sickly summer. Others
insist that their presence IN such great mum.
bers is to be regarded in directly opposite
light, and that we are to have a healthy sea
son. The mortality lists would seem to prove
the correctness of the first view, if, indeed,
there is any Significance to be attached to tn
ia t. Concerning flies we see it stated that NJ.
Katzinsky, Eiennese professor, claims to have
made curious and apsimportant discovery
Noticing that persons sick with the small pox
were often visited by flies, he placed near an
open window of the hospital a saucer filed
with glycrrine. Soon the flies gathered and
were caught like birds with glue In theil
endeavors to free themselves, all the foreign
matter which had adhered TO them was left in
the glycerine, which was at once submitted tC
the action of microscope. 1t was found that
this substance which was chemically pure whpr
offered to the fies was after they left it full OF
strange cells very like those seen on person:
attacked by the small pox.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

THE PRICE OF SLUMBER. rot Sunday
a Western Methodist minister observed that
the majority of his congregation were wrapped
in slumber. Suddenly pausing in his sermon,
he requested Deacon 5 to pass the plate.
The deacon thus accosted rose to his feet, aud,
with very red face, said:
"The collection has ,ady been taken up. :"
Never mind, Brother s." replied the
minister, take up another, for intend to
make the congregation pay for lodgings as well
as spiritual food"
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

The following note written to her school
mate by a girl who had been absent several
days, illustrates the sweet simplicity of fashion.
able childhood: Dear Susie-I shant attend
school again until Get some new cuffs, col
lars and iewelry-dear N anna agrees with me
that il is my DoOty to take the shine out OF
that Up start Many JONES' aud I'll do it if
never learn nothing"
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31
Photographs and Looking-Glasses.

There is something touching in the attach
ment that everybody has f0T his own cOunten-
ance Is not that one of the tenderest things
in Dckens-Charley' hiding the looking glass
from poor di>fiIured little Dame burden.
am certain that a sudden change, though for
the better, in the face of the plainest person
| know would make him hOme~ick.
| confess to a subtle satisfaction in my last
photograph, which am very we'll aware is not
shared by any of the friends TO whom | have
presented copies. They talk about the pO .itiOn
helng forced or natural; or the eyebrows not
being brushed; or the hair being too formal =;
ur tn picture fl4ttering me "A little or not
hattpring me at all or its being TOO light OF
roo dark or too festive; or too solemn ol
about its being capital likeness; or an abomi
nahle one-accOrding tn variance in prints
moods, aud notions But what interests me ii
it--they have no sonls for. wonder If an
as inappreciative in the matter Of other peo
ple's photographs | declare | shall lool
through the next photograph album with nev
eyes
As unsatisfactory as they are in the main
/ monographs show a man to himself in som
respects better than the looking glass does
For in the looking-gaSs you are always met b
, that frightening point blank stare. On tn
other hand, you can gaze upon your own PHI
, tograph just as composedly as upon that {
: the King of Siam.
There is no social custom MOI
widely observed than that already alluded tt
of looking sideways at ones self in mirrors
I Scarcely one adult passenger in hundre
y fails in the observance while passing thrOug
: the ladies cabin of theJ-y C-y ferry boat
t and ninety eight of the ninety ynine do il {
/ the slv The strange part of it is that, viii
4 everybody knows precisely what his file lead
5 is about, everybody imlgines that he himse
!. has never been caught in the act. 1t is ol
!, of the dclusions to which humanity is su
II ject. Why cannot we be frank about
e Suppose we try to be frank about it to-morroV
d -Scribner'S, for August
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

President Benito Juarez, of the Mexican
Republic, died on the night of July 18th, of
an attack of apoplexy. The death was sud
den and unexpected. The Presidency now
devolves upon Lerdo de Tejada, Chief Justice
of the Mexican Supreme Court, who has been
in opposition to the Government and is re-
garded as sympathizinr with the revolutionists.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

" How do look, PompayY" said young
dandy to his servant, as he had finished dress
ing "Eeg, mt, MaSsa you look bold as
lion" =" Bold as "a lion, Pompey How do
you know? You never saw a lion" 90 yes,
Massa seed one down to MasSa jerks. in
his stable. "Duwn TO jerks, Pompey? Why,
you great fool jerks has not got a lion !;
that's jackass! !" Cant help it, Massa; you
look lust like him ~
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

Naomi, the daughter of Enoch, was five
hundred and eighty years old when she
married There is hope for some Of you other
ladies after that.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

An appeal to the women Of America iu
behalf of Grant and Wilson is published by
Susan b. Anthony and Mrs Gage, officers OF
the National Woman Suffrage Association.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

In Petersburg the temperature is indicated
by its effect upon paper collars. 1t is now re-
ported three paper collars heat
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

IA thing of beauty is JOY forever" Is it,
my boy? Marry it, and you'll find it very
much the reverse. e.-Pnnch.
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

Little Robbie went to a show, and saw an
elephant for the first time in his life When
he came home, his mother asked him what he
had seen? Robbie replied, AN elephant,
mamma, that gobbled hay with his front
tail -
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

The Siamese twins are an apt illustration Of
being plural and very singular Their favorte
song has always been, 1--WE were boys
together"
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

An Omaha school hoy lately defined lady
to be "a grown-up girl, who doesn't euss nor
swear"
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

Olive Logan's new lecture for the coming
season 10 on Successful People"
Smyrna times., 1872-07-31

Mrs. Abraham Lincoln is soiourning at the
famous Bethesda Springs, at Waukesha.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1872-02-16

RAILROAD RESPONSIBILITY AND THE
RIGHTS OF MARRIED WOMEN --A case
was decided few days since by the Com
mission of Appeals, of considerable in
terest to married women and railroad
companies. A married woman brought
an action against the Pennsylvania rail-
road company for $4,000, the value of
lost baggage, and obtained judgment in
her favor. The case was appealed and
judgment of the court below was confirm
ed by the court of last resort. The de-
fence was that the ticket on which the
plaintiff was riding limited the liability
of the railroad company to 500, also
that the plaintiffs husband, and not she
was the proper party to sue for damages
The decision of the courts thus maintains
the rights of married woman to her own
clothing and jewelry both against hen
husband and his creditors, even though
they may be the gifts Of the husband
The illegality of the clause on railroad
tickets limiting the responsibility for los
baggage is also affirmed