The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-23
From "Roughing" it,
4 NeCGdG Funeral.

There was a great time over Buck
| Fanshaw when he died. He was q
representative citizen. He had "killed
his man''-not in his own quarrel,
| il is true, but in the defense OF a
stranger beset by numbers. He had
kept a sumptuous saloon. He had
been the proprietor OF a dashing help
meet, whom he could have discarded
without the formality of a divorce.
He had held a high position in the
fire department, and been a very
/ Warwick in politics. When he died
| there was great lGmentatiOn through
out the town, but especially in the
vast bottom stratum of society.
On the inquest it was shown that
Buck Fanshaw, in the delirium of a
wasting, typhoid fever, had taken arse
ic, shot himself through the body, cut
his throat, and jumped out of four
story window and broke his neck; and
after due deliberation, the jury, sad
| and fearful, but with intelligence un-
! blinded by its sorrow, brought in a
verdict of death "by the visitation of
God" What would the world do with
out juries?
! PrOdigiOus preparations were made
70 the funeral. All the vehicles in the
town were hired, all the saloons were
| in mourning, all the municipal and
fire company flags were hung at half
mast, and all the tiremen ordered to
muster in uniform and bring their
machines duly draped in black.
Regretful resolutions were passed
and various committees appointed,
among others, a committee ofone was
appointed to call on q minister-a
fragile, gentle, spiritual new fiedgling
from an Eastern theological seminary
and as yet unacquainted with the
ways of the mines. The committee
man, "Scotty" Briggs, made his visit.
Being admitted TO his presence, he
sat down before the clergyman, placed
his fire hat on an unfinished manu-
script sermon under the minister's
nose, took from it a red silk handker-
chief, wiped his brow, and heaved
sigh of dismal impressivenesse eXplana-
tory of his business. He chOked and
even shed tears, but with an effort he
mastered his voice, and said, in lugu-
bricus tones:
"Are you the duck that runs the
gospel mill next door 81
81 am the-pardOn me, believe
do not understand? ?"
With another sigh and half sob
ScOtty rejOined.
"Why, you see we are in a bit Oi
trouble, and the boys thought maybe
you'd give us a lift, If we'd tackle
YOU, that is. if I've got the rights of il
and you are the head clerk of the
doxOlogy works next door,"
"I am the shepherd in charge Of the
flock whose fold is next door.
"The which ?'
'sThe spiritual adviser of the little
company of believers whose sanctuary
adiOins these premises"
ScOtty scratched his head, reflected
a moment, and then said:
"You rather hold over me, pard.
reckon can't call that hand. Ante
and pass the buck"
CHOW 1 beg your pardon. Wha
did understand you to say"
well, you've rather got the huge
on me. Or may be we've both go
the bulge, somehow. You don
smoke me and 1 don't smoke you
You see, one of the boys has passed il
his checks, and we want to give hin
a good send-Of, and so the thing l an
now on is to rout out somebody 10 jerl
little chin-music for us, and walt
him through handsome"
"AIy friend, seem to grow NOR
and more bewildered. Your observa
tions are wholly incomprehensible t
me. Cannot you simplify them som
way? At first 1 thought perhaps
understood you, but now l crops
Would it not expedite matters If yO
, restricted yourself to categorical state
S ments of fact unincum bered wit
] obstructing accumulatiOns of NETS
phor and allegory 81
Another pause, and more reflection
Then ScOtty said:
"PII have to pass, I judge
"How?"
"You've raised ME out, pard.n
al still fail to catch your meaning.
"Why, that last lead of yOuTn is TO
. many for me-that's the idea. | can
neither trump nor follow suit"
The clergyman sank back in hi
chair perplexed. Scotty leaned nj
head on his hand, and gave himse
I'D to reflection. Presently his fac
came up, sOrrowful, but confident.
Il "Pve got itnow, SOS you cavvy.
said he.
"What We want is gospel-sharl
See 2"
"a what ?'
= Gospel sharp, parson."
"Oh! Why didn' you say so before
I am a elergyman-a parsOn."
"Now you talk! You see my blin
and straddle it like a man. Put
there r'-extending 8 brawny pay
which closed over the minister's sma
3 hand and gave it a shake indicatiN
of fraternal sympathy and fervel
qualification.
"Now we're all right pard. Let
start fresh. Don't you mind mesnu
fling a little, becuz we're in a power
trouble. You see one of the boys III
X gone up the flume-"
uGone where 81