Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-09-29

Please tell me what you are eating" 81
am not eating sir, only chewing, and this
Is the best balsam l ever saw, bought 1t at
Wharton's, he makes the best In town,
won't you have some?" And naively taking
from her mouth large lump of something
that looked like putty and smeit like mix
ture once saw ina hospital, tho I forget
its name, she generously divided 1t, handed
me one half, returned the other TO her
mouth and quietly resumed her
chewing and smacking. Do you blame
me, Guy. for wandering in thought to that
picture called Roman Charity, we used TO
admire so in Rome. Thanking her kindly
for her gift, L held it some time between
my fingers, uncertain what to do with 1t,
but finding that they were becoming I'M
comfortably sticky, transferred it TO my
pocket, determined as soon as could reach
my room at the Maxwell to analyZe it
thoroughly. Several hours elapsed before
could begin theiDyestigation, and when
did, 10 and behold, the balsam, owing either
to the heat of the retired spot when had
deposited it, or to my rapid walking,
or may be to its dissolving
qualities, r.. had melted and spread
from the pocket to my drawers, plastering
them securely and painfully to my leg,
glueing together my knife, gold pencil and
eye-glass, running my porte-monnaie and
sundry articles familiar to travellers pouches.
And this viliainous compound, this nauseous
drug, is what l see those beautiful crea-
lures, those queenly women, those fairy
ike girls chewing Suppose they should
swallow lump OF it and it should play the
same havoc with their internal mechanism
a .&s "a he orfa af m n0fE1f
what then? - s-E taA - w.
AS the Major and after tea were sitting
smoking our customary cigars Il always
buy them) said, "Msjor, what singular
custom your ladies haye-this custom OF
chewing balsam" .Singular, to say the
least of it,n was the dry reply. ''What
does it mean? What is its origin?- What
is their ohject9" at MEANS said the
Major knocking off the ashes from his cigar,
pushing back bis chair and recrossing his
legs, sit means an utter disregard OF all the
rules of etiquette, defiance OF all the usages
of civilized society, insult to their friends
and disrespect to themselves: it means
ignorance, carelessness, selishness and wick
edness. think we may trace its origin to the
fact that most of our ladies had negro nurses
and these nurses have always had habit
of keeping babies quiet by stufhng their
mouths with little bags, filled with sugar,
butter and -four, and called sugar teats.
Thus when infants they acquired desire
to be constantly moving their lips and Jaws,
nervous, restless longing that later inlife
balsam exactly satisfies, Now, as to the
objecb-no two women have the same OBJ
iect in chewing balsam. Some chew be-
cause they like it, others because their
friends do, some because they have nothing
To- do - and others from
nervousness; some know no better, and
others, well educated and nobly bred ladies,
who know as well how to behave them
selves as Queen Victoria on her throne,
chew Just TO show that they are indepen-
dent and DON'T care straw what other peo-
pie say. The same principle prompts old
Tillman and many others of like slender ed
ucational advantages to persist in saying
/ Eaters, thar, whar, gwfne, up stars etc.,
though their fashionable daughters and
dandy sons din day and night the rules Of
grammar in their ears. lave friend just
returned from a three years sojourn abroad.
| On the door steps a crowd Of friends and
relatives, all with their mouths crammed
| full of balsam, were gathered TO wei
come her. sOhr she exclaimed, now
see your jaws going | know l
am home in Nashville again.
Give Ike piece Of balsam quick Poor
Wilson, a good fellow as ever lived, but too
warnl-hearted for a man Of the world, had
the misfortune to lose his wife, little spoilt
| thing. Hanging over her lifeless remains,
stroking her cold brow and fondly pressing
| her Withered hand, he sobbed and would
| not ha comfortad COhp he exclaimed,
TO think how she loved balsam and she
can never on this earth take another chd,U.' >
The Major was growing excited and would
bave probably continued his harangue till
midnight, but here Capt. Price called US tc
join him in julep, and you, too, dear Guy
must need some rest, SO goodbye, till mex
week.
ARTHUR PLEASANT, F. R. n. s.