The Portland daily press., 1872-10-02
THE PR ESS.
WEDNESDAY MORNING, OCT. 9, '7s.
Gossip and Gleanings.

This is the worst year that has ever been
known in Kansas for pulling guns out of wa
gons muzzle first A woman in Jewell coun-
ty has just pulled one, and now has to part
her hair on the side that her only arm is on.
Some one wickedly says that the reason
why very young girls usually take the prizes
at fairs for making good bread, is because
their mothers make it for them, while the
older girls think they can manage alone,
and fail miserably l-H
The progress of luxury is strikingly Illus
trated in a modern sea voyage A letter writ
ten from on board an Atlantic steamship saws.
II hear the notes of piano, the lowing of
cow, the cackle of hens, indeed all the noises
of the barn-yard, here in mid ocean,
1t is hard to respect old age when one gets
sold on venerable pair of chickens.
Teach your children to help themselves
but not to what doesn't belong to them.
New toast-May the cheerful heart never
"ohe |" UOteic W give ultuStL. .l.
The new dictionary of American political
slang will be completed in twenty-four folio
volumes.
An absent-minded man entered a Troy
shoe store the other day, and wanted his boy
measured for pair OF shoes. ''But where's
the boy?' said the dealer. ''Thunderr' said
the man, GIVE left the boy at home. I'll go
and bring him. and off he started for his
house, six blocks away.
A New Fairfield, Conn, man thinks that
the moon must have turned a complete SOM
ersault to account for such rainy weather as
they have been enjoying in that town during
the last few weeks.
1t is cruelty said that the proposed plan of
discouragng drunkenness in Louisville by
publishing the names of all drunkards will
involve the republication of the whole city
directory. a tnaHt U@.50f..
You can't scold people out of their sins.
The correct thing nowadays for lady prom
enaders is to carry one arm bent at the elbow,
the hand sticking straight forward and al
lowed to bob up and down like dislocated
pump handle.
The st. Louis Democrat apologies for pub
fishing four sermons on the ground that relig-
ion ought to be of more interest to the human
race than politics.
Mayor Walker of Miiledgeyille, Ga, resign
ed his office in milf because the council re-
duced a fine he had imposed from $50 to $25.
A sympathetic crowd in Detroit recently
rescued pretty woman, who had stolen $500
from her husband and eloped with younger
man, from the rude grasp of an unfeeling Of
fcer who was taking her back to her lord.
He was Nevada sportsman and, as The
gun wouldn't go off, he tried to melt the bull
let out with red hot iron and-well the doc
tor thinks two more poultices will draw out
the two ounces of powder in his face, but he
has given up probing for the bullet.
Miss Fannie Carson of Iowa is bolstered up
a shining example for her sex, because. she
went into her fathers hay fields in the capaci-
ty of a Maud Muller; but unlike that much
quoted maiden, she "raked the meadow,
sweet with hay" until she had gathered to-
gether forty tons. A Memphis paper says this
was much better than ''foolin' round with
rheumatic old Judge" ....... ..-
Judge-I fine Tim Larry S5 for assault and
battery on Pat Malone. Pat-But your Hon
or, want more damages. He blacked my
eye, and If 1 had been invited to tea party,
couldn't have gone. Judge-The court
knows nothing about consequential damages.
You must carry your. case to Geneva. .
eff really thought" said a near-sighted,
bald-headed resident of Winsted, as he con-
templated poster bearing the likeness Of the
smooth-pated Horace and the hirsute Gratz
eff really thought it would produce such
change, would purchase half dozen OF
bottles. But haven't much faith in hair re-
storatives, anyhow" -s5r
At Odessa recently fourteen letters
written by Voltairc have just been discover
ed, of which thirteen have never been pub
lished. They are a part of a correspondence
carried on between himself and Count Alex
ander Woronzoff. There is nothing peculiar
to the letters except their genuiness. ..