The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-07-30
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Professor" said the shrewd beauty. Con
one condition only will we comply with your
request"
SHAME it Name itr' Fr FT#"
"You must solemnly promise that none Of
us who have been engaged in this little ro-
nance shall be disciplined for it, and that YOU
will make no mention of it to a living soul
while we are inmates of the college, with the
understanding that we are to observe the
solemn promise. What say you?'
81 promise-solemnly promise"
very Wen. Hold up your right hand.
1ou do solemnly swear that you will faithfully
keep and observe that promise, so help you
God" .s.gtr. rrfs. 1.....
81 do"
Enough girls! He has taken the oath.
Lower away"
The professor was soon carefully and
safely landed on terra firma, greatly to his
relief, and greatly to the joy, no doubt, of
the other party to the compromise; and he
lived up to his oath. In after years, however,
when time had absolved him from it, and the
lover, whose basket he ''monopolized ON that
eventful night, had, as the story goes, married
the glrlIwho, on that occasion, was so ''iar
above .him''-the professor used to tell the
adventure to his particular friends, and laugh
over it till the tears ran down his cheeks, as
the most ludicrous scrape he ever got into in
all his college life; and as the only one he
was let out of under an oath administered
Schuyler County Democrat.
THACKERAY AS A SHowMAN.-Years ago,
when Thackeray was delivering his lectures
on ''The Georges and the "Englsh wits
and Humorists," to large audiences in a
southern city, he asked a digtinguished litera-
ry man what chance of success there would
be in certain other city not many miles dis
tant. 'Irealy don't know, Mr.. Thackeray,"
was the reply, 81 never succeeded there But
| am nobody, and you are a great gun; it
seems to me you ought to succeed anywhere.
Still, cannot conscientiously advise you to
make the attempt; you might possibly fail,
and lay the blame on me-" After some re-
Election, he added: perhaps if you were to
make a special lecture, compounded of the
best and most diyerting parts of two or more
of your series, you might draw tolerably
good house, But / will not guarantee any
thing" Thackeray thought the matter over,
accepted the suggestion, made up the COM
pound lecture, advertised, ''billed the town.
and went over. On his return his friend met
him at the cars, and, after the usual greeting,
said, "Well, sir, show did you make out ?''
"OhP said Thackeray, merrily Il have
been playing mountebank for sixpence."
'What do you mean by that?'' "1he night,
you know, was a wretched one; the audi
ence was thin, not above so or 60 persons,
never attempted to entertain. did my best,
but so profound was their respect-their awe,
L may say-Of me that not a murmur of
| applause, not a ghost of a smile escaped
| them. Solemnly, sincerely, piously they stared
| at me. l do believe they thought was
| preaching funeral sermon. At the close of
the lecture fully expected a committee to
| come forward and request a copy of my obitu-
| ary on the Georges for publication in the
morning paper, and felt disappointed that
| the doorkeeper did not stop me as | went out
| and put Grape on my arm and weeper on
| my hat. 1t was truly solemn and refresh
ing season. The next morning, after paying
| my advertising bills and the hotel charges, |
found had cleared enough to pay my return
| fare to this place, and SIS over. Congratulat-
ing myself ON this fact, I strobe jubiantly
| down to the station, and was in the act of
| stepping on the train when / felt myself
touched on the back. Turning around be-
held, "a small man with the aspect of turnkey,
! who, in no complimentary terms, made in
quiry. Saint you q man by the name OF
| Thackeray?' That's my name, sir"
SWELL didn't you give show here last
night?'. ''Why, yes, L think it was decided
| ly a show" well, that's a law in this
| town that any man that gives show has got
| to pay five dollars license for givin' NV the
| show, and you didn't pay no license; and I'm
| the sargent NV this town, and here's the bill,
and you've got to pay it before you kin get to
handed the fierce little sergeant the five dol
lars, paid my railroad fare out Of my own
pocket. and sO,' concluded Thackeray, with
a jolly laugh, 8 played the mountebank for
sixpence, and upon my honor L enjoyed it."
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