American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-11-02
GENERAL ITEMS.
EASY things to make-mistakes.

EASY things to make-mistakes.
The last thing out-out of debt.
The table of interest is the dinner ia
Bile.
The pre-hysteric period-before tight
facing was invented.
Why is a screw in tight like a screw in
loose? Because it is Insecure.
PETROLEUM has been discovered in
Western Kansas.
WHICH are the most melancholy trees /?
The weeping-willow and the pineapple.
It's of no use any longer for ladies to
wear expensive jewelry; the imitation
cannot be told from the real article.
FRENCH settlers in Utah affectionately
allude to Brigham Young as their big
ami.
n LovE-LORN swain remarks that the
final rejection OF his suit by his illamorata
was OF the nature of no sir-ender.
IMITATION tortoise-shell ornaments are
known among cheap jewellers as mock
turtle.
QUERy for chemists-Is '.amylic alco-
hol the correct thing to make milk
punch?
OUR unrcgenerate observes that city
milk IS more like vegetable than animal
food, because its some pumpkin.
The old-fashioned high Spanish comb
Is about to resume its place in my lady's
hair-or az least in the hair she wears.
The operation of weighing the SOC, O0O.-
600 francs sent by the French Gov
eminent to Germany lasted three days.
Why is the Czarine Catherine like a
baid-headed person? Answer-Because
her heir is Orloff
WHY is the alphabet like cutting the
nrst teeth. Because it is taught yer (tor-
tare) when young.
ALL the lovers in the rural districts of
Illinois are getting the inter-nittens for
roaming about after nightfall.
WE are told ssthe evening wore on"
but we are never told what the evening
wore on that occasion. Was it the ssclose''
of Summers day?
The New York Journal of Commerce
warns bankers that no thickness of stone
or iron Will keep a burglar out of a vault
If he can only hire the room next door.
ssCRANBERRY RUM is the latest product
OF New Jersey industry. Local chemical
experts pronounce it comparatively free
from fusel oil.
"A FELLOW who has actually tried it,
says that. although there are three scru-
pies in a drachm. the more drains you
take the less scruples you will have.
The woman's clubhouse in New York.
which its projectors promise will not be
try, will be opened in the winter.
ONE of party of tourists just returned
rom the White Mountains, maintains that.
OF all manly sports, steep-hill chasing is
the most fatiguing.
A BALTIMORE ma mayer has serious in
tentions of bringing out s'Hamlet'' with a
practicable and beautiful scene Of brook
wherein Ophelia shall drown herself in
sight of the audience.
Our classical scholar says it is evident
that the Augean stables couldn't have
been SO dirty as historians suppose, since
they were exclusively occupied by neat
cattle.
MISS KATE STANTON is going to lecture
In Boston on ''The Loves of Great Men,
and nineteen out of every twenty BostO-
mans fear that she intends to divulge the
heart secrets of their private lives.
Mrs. VICTORIA WooDHULL Tor Blood
hull. as she is sometimes called) says the
spirits tell her that the 'slaws of life'' will
be discovered before she dies, and conse-
quently that she will live forever.
A CHICAGO court has decided that it is
imperative upon an insurance company to
give notice when policy expires. A
lawyer has just recovered the loss of his
library under this decision.
THE physicians called in the trial of
Laura Fair as witnesses have submitted
bills for the approval of Judge Riordan to
1 the tune of 500 per day, or from 500 to
WHAT agonies must that poet have en-
S1ured who, writing of his love, asserted
in his manuscript that he kissed her I'M
der the silent stars" and found the COM
p0sft6r made him declare that he
=" Kicked her under the cellar stairs
DR. DIo LEWIS, who is, or claims to
De, B0ston's highest authority in the mat
Ilnc of hi fx-v,
icl breakfasts as consisting solely of
1.-TWO cents worth of beans with half a
cents worth of vinegar
The Faculties, on the west coast of New
Georgia, say that at the Dcluge one man
and one woman were saved by escaping
into cave. And they add that when the
earth was drowned, a water-rat dived for
II and brought it to the surface again.
A WESTERN coroner's Jury, after listen
ing to discriminating analysis of the |
evidence pointing to homicide or to felo |
de &c, promptly rendered a unanimous
verGict that the defunct was beyond doubt |
fellow deceased.
The grossest insult ever offered to the |
'eHub" Is contained in an announcement |
that NJ. Julien lie Count, formerly French |
Consul at Boston, has been ''promoted''
to a similar position at one of the minor |
ports Of Great Britain.
Plosive compound, said to be far more de- |
structive than nitro glycerine, and conf
IDENTIFY recommended to families as a salts
factory substitute for kerosene to kintile |
fires with.
A TAILOR of massive intellect, has |
Matched an idea from the brOad-fronted |
cravats now so much affected by exquis- |
ties. He proposes to make suit consist |
ing entirely of cravat, to be wound round |
the body and limbs from neck to ankle. |
and fastened with diamond pin.
THE grossest Instance of humbug met |
with for long time is that of an individ- |
ual who advertises fer sale a Siberian |
bloodhound, which he calls "a ], - when |
every one possessing the ordinary r,ldi- |
ments of an English education ought to
know that the beast is X 8.
Remembrances OF Castor Oil.
Breathes there man with soul so dead |
that he does not recOllect the castor oilinr |
which his poor machine used to undergo |
at stated periods OF his youth? To castor |
oil child of two to seven years Of age re-
Quires three or four strong women, a