The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-07-29
THE PLUMBER OF THE SOUTH
ROut and ShipWreck of thu
Carpct-B aggers.
ULYSSES SEEKS PENELOPE IN RAGS.
ROmer's Story Applied to the Conqueror Of Ho
ratio and the Rival Of Horace.
YR INVOCATION.

Ulysses story taken on the wing
For four long years, o heavenly goddess sing
Crash tambornes and picking banioes sound;
Ye buzzing jewsharps mngIe in the round;
Nose-twanging saints OF newer England howl;
Png-nostrilled bull-pup raise the midnight yOwl,
And, lest my muse true inspiration want
Come, holl0w-hearted priestesses Of cant,
My Odysseus' travels pray unfold
TIL all the panorama is unr0'led,
Writ in page of blood and tears and gold.
ULYSSES LADEN WITH GIFTS.
-Four years. red desolatOn darkly reigned
Upon the land, while freedoms hearthstone stained
With crimes that laid us meath Gods awful ban
Were washed out in the purple blood Of man.
Bleak was the nations night, but yet there burned
The pillar'd fire that lighted those who mourned,
And shone above million freemen's graves
TO say that men should never more be slaves.
Then grim Ulysses rose-the leader he
Who bore the Stars from earth TO victory,
And hung them glorious, undefled on high,
To shine forever in the gladdened sky.
He did 1t in avery thorough manner,
As well became soldier, erst a tanner.
Oh, that while Fame had smothered him with
kisses,
She'd only ta'en to glory our Ulysses.
But no. tho now at peace, men still would quar-
Who would bestow the biggest wreath OF laurel.
The grateful citizens on ev'ry hand
Came tro0ping in with lager and with land,
The best cigars, the first seat al carOuses;
They brought him sticks, stocks, money and fine
houses,
Pipes and tobacco, spigots and spittoons;
Ben Butler brought a dozen silver spoons.
Basins bowled in and mills with grist and saw,
Short-horned cattle, milk from Chappaqua,
Carpets and cauinowers; solemn college deans
Sent him degrees, and Boston pork and beans.
The far West gave him mustangs for his rancho,
The Murphy Greek q cottage at Long Branch;
'Twere well it, mid his fortunes many shifts,
He'd learned to fear "a Greek een bearing gifts"
Then bull-pups, brandy, whskey, gin and wines,
Horses and wagons, hooks and fishing lines
These were symbolic, for It's safe to bet
That all was fish which came unto his net.
'Twould tire to tell the presents that he had,
Long as the ship list in the Iliad;
Yet twas agreed by men of ev'ry station
'Twere incomplete unless he got the nation.
or course, there was some little opposition,
And hence Glen Val, knowing politician,
Babe Old Horatio capa-pie arise
To wrestle with Ulysses for the prize
Ulysses won with ease. His triumph rare
Did only "seem more" for the noisy 'blare.r
HE CHoosETH HIS FOLLOWERS.
The ship OF State was ready made anew;
The grim commander more Sphnxitic grew,
And next selected officers and crew.
These let us glance at
First hungry horde
or men who 'gainst the Trojans wore sword,
And some who used 1t, came. These got their share
OF petty Offices Swift on their heels
The vile camp followers, like slippery cells,
In wrggling thousands begging for place,
Came, leaving after them Shiny trace
Some few were taken who could be OF use
To beat the passengers or place the deuce
whenever called on. But for the ward room,
The wheel house, galley magazine and guard room
Ulysses pulled and pondered ere deciding,
But cut the knot by honestly dividing
Between his family, his friends and those
Tie great gift givers at the battles close.
The disappointed said in cync hate:-
"Ulysses much more grateful is than great.-
HE sETTErB SAIL.
Thus on the Fourth OF March, IN sixty-nine.
With canvas spread, the weather mildly fine
And clouds diminished DER the troubled south
His ship dropped past Potomac's ample mouth.
Here rose a squall, and while the east wind blew
hard
Ulysses lost his irst-sclected steward"
Hut merry times succeeded on the ship.
The helm was tied; the orders, 'Let her rip,''
And rip she did, till growlings, deep and loud
Arose, that frightened all the jolly crowd,
Who, with Ulysses, held royal revel
While things were haply going 10 the devil.
He called a council, when they qnelled the row,
And asked suggcstively "wbere are we now"
Long wrangllng followed fore they could agree
When twas concluded they were all "at sea-"
HE sTEERETH FOR TIE WATERMELON LAND.
'Now shape course" said Fish, Ito satisfy
The clam'rng crowd. There's blood in Dana's eye
Rise, Babcock, boy" Thus Babcock-"we should II
Where bread fruit nourshes, bananas grow,
land wot OF full Of milk and honey,
Which with good management win bring il
money"
Ulysses slapped the table. "Then, by jngoi
Wen turn her head at once for 81. Domingo.
Ho can some bugmen, botansts and blacks,
To gull the crowd and cover no our tracks,