The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Gas Light.

The following arguments are offered
to the Oskaloosa Herald against light
ing that city with gas.
EDS. HERALD:-I attend ID gas
injunction meeting or an injunction
gas meeting-for the life of me en-.
not tell which-last week, and as the
thing didn't pan out to suit me, now
propose to offer few objections to the
introduction of gas in the city that
Maj. Downing, Bill Ne,lham. Or any
other small boy will have difficulty in
voting down. First, then, il is anti
Democratic in all its tendencies-I
believe in going it blind in all things
and there Is nothing more jolly than
to fall Off the sidewalk into the mud Of
a dark night, and then have your wife
go for you for being 50 careless; or
listen to her upon returning from
church with her best bonnet smashed,
one earring broken, and her Grecian
nose bert upward, consequent upon
collision In the dark. Secondly, we
will never get this town finished re .dy
70. the painter il we allow these little
innovations over our cherished saucer,
lard ana lamp wick lights. Thirdly;
gaslight is very injurious to the eyes,
and tans ones complexion worse than
moonlight. Fourthl;; it enables
thieves, after stealing. To SEQ how to
run away from the police, and thus
avoid capture. Filthy; our ROSTERS
will crow themselves blind and the
hens will lay themselves into the
Mysteries, thinking it is never ending
day. Sixthly our young men will
take advantage OF the gas light tn take
toll as they pass each post, and some
Of them would want To pass every post
in the city, aud thus keep the girls out
late at night, and that too when they
know that kissing out IN the weather
is very injurious to the constitution.
Seventhly; the poor dogs Of which we
are nearly out, will kill themselves
chasing their own shadows, and our
enterprising hogs will wear their noses
off in trying to root up the lamp posts,
and unless they are furnished with
patent rooters by the City Council, !
shall regard this proposition as con-
tanning two objections. Eighthly; it
is proverbially true the world over,
that lamp posts are dissipated that
they will get on sprees in spite Of !
the good influences that can be thrown
around them-and that they ut such
times often seriously obstrnct the way
of gentlemen who are on their return
1 home at night. They often, OH occa-
sions of this ,liad, will stop gentlemen,
who will take hold of or lean upon
| them for Il social talk, and remain
there until they hecaine 80 tired that
II they let 40 they viii fal! into the
mud and If they bold on, their wives
will come for them with the broom
stick, ana in either case they are i'm for
/ domestic storm. once lived in a
city where the lamp posts got Oh u
bender regularly every Saturday night,
and ii was very difficult for "A man to
pass them without getting his hat
battered or his nose bruised This any
close observer would at once see was
very annoying 10 gentleman of
refined feelings, particularly 80 if he
was trying to create "A good impression
and was a teacher in the Sabbath
school In one instance | knew u
very highly respected citizen, who was
returning home al night, when lac met
iipsy lamp post, which taking ad-
vantage of his loneliness. knoo ked him
down and stool threateningly over
him till "a late hour ia the night. when
the fire. bell began to ring Thinking
II the town clock, my friend remained
Silent 10 ascertain the time, aud count
Ell until Il" had numbered thirteen
strokes OF the hammer, when he be-
came greatly alarmed II finding it one
hoar later than he han ever known il
before, he sprang To lis feet, lodged
the post, aud arrived home without
further Incident. And unlers the City
Council require each post to sign the
pledge ar become responsible for their
conduct shall feel justified In ci ,im.
Ing not less than six valid objections
IN this proposition NintllIy and
lastly, a we the tax paying citizens
ani supporters OF the body polite,
think That thirty years i too long IA
tine for hr. Pinkcuon to tear up the
old contract and Treat all round, there.
fore, be i una ninonsiy resolved, that
We are sorely oppressed.
Yours in Oppression
PADDY MILES
The first day 81 A,lam'- life must
have been Il long one. ~ il had no
Eve