davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
A Very Serious Thought.

We Tread fearful narrative occasionally
concerning the mental agony endured by all
| actor in the comedy way who is compelled
to put an antic disposition Oh and make pee
pie laugh, when nearly overwhelmed by
some great domestic grief. His wife is dy-
ing, yet must he play. His child is hardly
cold in death, but the people must be made
to shout their senseless mirth all the same.
though his heart be breaking.
have thought that there might be another
side to this lIfe-picture, albeit rot SO tragic
and SO narrowing to our sympathies. Are
there not men whose dispositions would lead
them to laugh loud and often, but who are
perpetually kept from indulging their lnher-
ent mirth on account Of the popularity of
their occupation. Take the undertaken. He
may be man who enjoys good hearty
laugh equal to anybody. Naturally he is
brimming over with fun perhaps, and his
mind is receptacle tor all manner of hui
morous conceits; bnt he has few opportuni-
ties for indulging them. His profession re-
quires serious air and an appearance Of sol
emnity. if not of actual sadness. What an
agony it must be 70 such a man to have his
good-humor perpetually smothered with
pail. wouldn't blame him if, after getting
his customer snugly.under ground, he retired
to some secluded spot. where his voice could
not by any possibility CRATE upon the sensi-
bilities of the mourners, and indulge in
series of relaxing grins. and, il his health
few good hearty roars Of laugh |
ter. i would do it if l had to undertake for
a living. Long continued restraint Of that |
sort would kill me. l would have to blow 4
,ff occasionally, or some other undertaken
would have job. 1t is hard not to be able
o laugh when one feels like it, and man
who is liable to feel like it often--for laughter
S very insubordinate emotion--shouldn't
to be an undertaker.-s.Gris," !" in
he Cincinnati Times. 20
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
Tfmes and Places for Holding Courts i'm
She Territory of Montana.
SUPREME COURT.

SUPREME COURT.
At Virginia City, first Monday In ia uary and sec
ond Monday in August.
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURTS
FSrst District-At Virgins City first Monday IL
April, second Monday in July, and second Mon
day ip November.
sssnd District-At Deer Lodge, third Monday III
April first Monday in September, and first Mon
day in December.
Third Disfrict-At Helena, first Monday in March
first Monday in July, and fourth Monday In Oc-
TERRITORIAL COURTS.
sist Dstrtct-In Madison County, at Virginia City,
first Monday in April, second Monday in July,
and second Monday in November.
In GalIatn County, at Bozentnn first Monday in
March and ffth Monday in October:
In Jefferson County, ut Radersburg, second Mon
day in May, and first Monday in October.
geesns Dist,tct--Deer Lodge County, at Deer Lodge
City, third Monday in April, first Monday In
September, and frst Monday in December.
In Missoula County, at Missoula, fourth Monday
in June and second Monday In November.
in Beaver Head County, Bannack, first Monday in
June, and third Monday in October.
Third District-In Lewis and Clark County, at Hell
ena, frat Monday March, first Monday in
July, and fourth Monday in October.
In Meagher County, fourth Monday in May and
fourth Monday IN November.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
fozEMAN, MONTANA TERRITORY, THURSDAY JULY IL 1879

The State Board of Examiners counted tn,
money in the State Treasury recently, ans
found there in gold coin, $s6s, ,4a9; silver
S222 800; and legal tender notes, $35,s29
Total, $$a27 ,1e6. 81 'i<.s
The State Board OF Fish Commissioners o
! California have resolved to send East fol
oo,OOO shad, similar to those planted in the
sacramento year ago, intending to stccb
the San joaquin with them. In due season
they will also import cells, black bass and
Holsters. @#
California spirits from ssthe heavenly side
OF Hades" have revealed to Otis Ashley. o1
FELTON,, the locality of valuable silver lodges.
Those "spisits'' are better than s>ola Bour-
bOn.''
The redoubtab!e British athlete ard bog
er, Jen Mace, has found his match in the
person OF San Francisco druggists clerk.
At least it appears SO by the following, from
the San Francisco Chronicle
An interesting scene took place At tFe cir
Gus the other night, in which well-known
San franciscan came off with flying colors.
Jem Mace, the champion, and Charles A.
Bennett, celebrated athlete, belonging to
the California Olympic Club. Mr.. Bennet il
q drug clerk deThird street. He was in
boyhood weak, puny fellow. and many
thought he already had the consumption:
eut Tor a number OF years has devoted him.
sell to gyinnastic exercises and entirely re-
covered ms health. Among other accom-
plisiiments. he has become proficient boxer.
He is gentleman, moves in good society.
and, Of course. would not think OF making
use OF his talent in professional way. But
he thought he would like to shy his castor
at Mr. Mace, in friendly way. Bennet is
five feet eleven inches in height. and in
weight the two men were evenly matched.
They put on the gloves and the match be-
gan. Both men were stripped as though for
knots on his arms. and his physical deyelop-
ment was far superior to that of the chau,-
pion. Mace fed off, but it was coon apparent
from his falling back on his welI-known
lighting tactics (caution) thaG he. regarded
Bcnnet as no mean antagonist Bennet par
RED most OF the blows aimed at him with
skill and grace, and succeeded
In getting several soekdoiogers home With
out the least apparent effort They fought
six rounds in all, in none of which did Rem
net get the worst of it, The exhibition was
RATHER Bennett forcing the fighting all the |
while, in a way that made the redoubtable
champion vince. Once Mace made one Of
MS lightning-like lodges to avoid a blow
rom Bennett. but the latter. quick as thought, |
'aught h!n1 with let1-handcd "upper-cut.' y |
which sent the dodger sprawling in the saw
lust At this the enthusiasm among the
ludlence became great, and the boxers were
oudly cheered. At the conclusion of the
xercise Mace seemed quite exhausted. while
Sennet was apparently fresh The chamnion
las since expressed it as his belief that no /
nan on the Pacific coast could beat the un-
pretending drug clerk in fight, Should he
hOose to enter the lists. 80 - I
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
A Corpse Missing at a FuueraI.
lFrom the Newark, n. T.. Register. ]

/ IfT0fn Int newark, N. ". Register.
| Yesterday three carriage loads of mourn.
ing friends went to Market street depot with
q hearsc to receive the body of d eolored
man. named William White, who had died
in New York and WAS to be buried in Wood
! land cemetery. They inquired Of the bag
New York, who replied that he had, and
pointed to one which had been placed i'm the
baggage-room awaiting claimant. Mr..
Durham, the undertaken, at once lifted the
coffin, which was inclosed in burial case,
and with the assistance of his driver, placed
it in tksEearsc. The funeral train then pro-
ceeded slowly and decorously to the ceme-
terry, where 1t waa ascertained that the grave
had not yet been dug. While the gave
digger was at work the box was brought re-
verently to the grave side, and the circle of
naDurners stood gonnd with their heads
bowed, while the minister of the gospel re-
cited the burial service. He feelingly al
luded to the loved one whose body lay stiff
and cold In the box beside them. He es-
tolled his virtue and tenuerly smoothed over
his faults. The weeping relatives wiped
their eyes and felt that they would gladly
change places with the dead o-be so mourn
ed. At last the moment arrived when
the box must be raised from the ground
and lowered into the cold, dark tomb. 1t
was moment of awful suspense. The ex-
perienced hand Of the grave-digger, however,
felt that the box was unusually light for so
large body and asked was it child they
were burying. stOh no. they said, she was
a full grown man, s.There certainly is
something wrong, ther,' he replied, ''tfis
coffin is too light; there is nothing in it,"
Immediately the sorrowing circle closed
around the grave, and it was decided to open
the box at all hazards.
The tears were dried in eyes that now al
most popped out of their owners heads in the
anxiety to see what this awful mystery
meant. The lid was raised. and behold the
box was empty. For 4 moment not word
was said each man looked at his neighbor
with blanclled cheeks and quivering lips, but
when he attempted to speak his tongue Glove
% the roof of his mouth At last one with
more practical common SENSE than the rest
stopped down and examined the lid, to which
vas attached small card. sWhy," ex-
claimed ne, s'this box is not addressed to Mr..
)unham it is marked sfor wv. V. w. Vree-
and.'" Here. then, was solution of the !
MYSTERY. They had taken the wrong box.
1t this. not even the soiemnity of the occa-
ion nor the presence OF an open grave could
revent the burst of merriment that followed
he discovery. and the entire group-paetor.
rave digger and mourners-joined In a
earty laugh at the mistake. The coffin they
ad taken from the depot was for Coroner
'reeland's establishment. a large portion of
is stock being manufactured in New 7 ork
nd seut out to him.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
WHEN WILL THE END CONE.
By D.. W. HOLMES.

By D. W. HoLMEs.
When legislators keep the law,
When banks dispense yfh bolts ana locks.
When herries-who hortie, rasl and straw.
Grow bigger doWawards through the bog
When he that seiieth house 81 land.
Shows leak In roof or flaw in right.
When haberdashers choose the stand.
Whose window elbows the broadeSt liphf
When preachers tell us what they think,
And party leaders what they mean
When what we pay for, that we drink,
From real grape and coffee bean
When lawyers take what they would give.
And doctors give what they would take
Wneh city fathers eat to live,
save when they fast for conscience, sake
Wnen one that hath horse on sale
shall bring his merit to the proof,
without lie for every nail
That holds the iron to the hoof--
When In the usual place for rips
Our gloves are stitched with special care,
And guarded well the whalebone tips
Where first umbrellas need repair
when Cuba's weeds have quite forgot
Their power Of suction to resist, o7
And cla-et bottles harbor not
Such dimples as would hold your ist-
When publishers no longer steal,
And pay for what they stole before
When the first locomotive wheel
Rolls through the Hoosac tunnel' s bore
Till then tet Cumming blaze away,
And Miller's saints blow up the globe
But when you see that blessed day.
Then order your ascencion robe.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
ODDS AND ENDS.

/ Ii people will persist in the foolish habit OF
walking about the streets when they are fast
asleep they must expect to be caught in some
| awkWard predicamenrs. A policeman in
Lawrence, Mass, the other night encoun-
tered Mrs. Jones clad in the garments OF
the night, with a pair OF mems No. 10 boots
on, paras0l over her head, and bible in
ner hand. She was under the impression thas
she was going TO church, but on being fairly
awakened was induced to acknowledge the
inappr roprkatcness of her attire.
A woman's suffrage convention was re-
Gently held in London, where the hall was go
crowded that when the speakers arrived they
couldn't get in. Mrs. Prof. Fawcett and
others climbed in by a ladder at window.
back OF the stage, and when she came to
speak, said: ave are told that women have
notso much energy as MEN. deny it. A
moment ago was outside Of this room in the
thick ola crowd, with Mr.. Arthur Arnold
Mr. Arnold is still in the crow |. am here.
The little woman was roundly applaufe,F.
A bald-headed banker. who prides himself
ON being self-made man, during talk with
a friend, had occasion to remark that he wa.
the architect ct his own dcstlny-that he was
a self-made man. ..W-h-what d-dia voa
s-say?' asked tho frien.l, who shutters. 81
say, with pride. that am selEmstfe man
that made myself" Hold" interrubtine
the friend, 'sw-whlle you were nn-m-making
yourself. why the dickens d-tiid didn't Won
p-put some more h-lair on the top OF y-y-your
h-headi?''
This Is the latest style OF advertising adop-
ted by down-esst milliner:
PERSONAL roung lady Of good person.
II appearance and moderate fortune. with
blue eyes, light hair, and an amiabls disposi,
lion--or any other woman--can find the best
assortment of hoop skirts, corsets. kid gloves.
aces, dress trimmings, and all kinds OF Write
trimmings in the city, and save from ten to
wenty per cent. By calling at sa ep#
They have man in Lock Hayei, whose
lame is Gaudam. His would be.a nice name
or churcli deacon. For instance. the
'reacher world say, s Gautlam you pass the
'1ate. Et sounds like sseussil,,n don't itt II
re were that fellow we would have our Gam
am raanas isame lately changed TO something
lore revcrential.
a married woman applied to her lawyer to
rocurc divorce. ION what grounds nafs-
~ s'' asked the lawyer. ..On the ground
1at ! can now do great deal better, was
ae reply.
The following knotty question claims The
one or all Of our DEBATING socinI
8. : =. Y g man has i tiger BY the tam, !.
llicl ~ would be the best for his personals
'fety--to hold OF 81 let 90
a oox eontaininga black beariwas received
& An express office IN san Francisco the
ner d|ay; outside: Black BareEf view.
'n't want e get BIT, kepc your flncers out
the crag.s' - -
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
NUMBER A.
WIT AND WISDOM.

Work is the wcapoa Of honor.
Nature Is the domain of liberty.
Command your temper, lest it eomm and
you. ,t
Pleasure is precarious. bat virtue is i,nmor~
tai. ..4,
The road of aassbiffon is too narrow for
friendship.
Truth sometimes tastes like medicine, but
that Is an evidence that we are i'll. H.
II we get knowledge into our i.-inds edge
wise. il will soon find room to turn.
Don't fret, for iretting, instead of relieving
from trouble, will lay on you heavier bur-
dens.
NO indulgence of passions destroys the
spiritual nature SO much as respectable sell
fishness.
Coffee, if drank freely, is said to be an ex-
cellent preventive against disease OF the kid
neys.l
It is the water outside the ship that tosses
it about. but it is the water that goes int, tha
ship that sinks it.
Politeness knows nothing of better and
worse; and the polite person never assigns
inferiority to anyone but himself.
golden rule for young lady is to con-
verse always with her female friends asif
gentleman we're of the party; and with yoang
men as if her female companions were pres
ent. t5ht a
When one is always striving to please self,
there Is often dearth of ways and means.
But let an effort be made to please others,
and what variety Of avenues are opened.
ignorance is not so bad as error; the for
mar is blank sheet on which we may write;
but the latter is scribbled one from which
we must first erase. Ignorance is content to
stand still; but although error moves, it gees
in the wrong direction. .3ts#
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
swallowing a Man.

John Thomas was man Of keen wit, an
strongly tinctu'red with a love OF the humol
Gus. He had been to Concord, and had see
the Fakir OF Ava perform bis wonderfr
tricks Of legerdemain. He was relating hi
experlsnce in the bar-roorn of the Conwa
house, and among other things he declare
that he had gained an insight into many q
the most wonderful tricks, aud that he couI
perform them himself.
For instance said he, I can sw allow
man whole
W sBahl' cried Tom Staples, red face,
woodsman, Weighing at least two hnndre,
pounds, 'll'r'aps you could swallow nse1' =
Yes
I'D like to see yoa do it,
| 4 can do it,
| s4'll bet you fifty dollars you can't
sTll take that bet.'
Then let's see you Begin
Not now. Ihxve just eaten supper. viii
do it to morrow morning in the presence oi
as many witnesses as you choose, and il
shall be done in the square in front OF the
hotel.' t4a
This was agreed to, and the money wa,
that Iohn rbon,., .,s. t1 49,, -
ples whole lad. heoom, ,,sdasnra.a - -, n. :,
80 80 0.o.o "'uespicau' anu
g, "u'o' a'','
darf,, t.st - 'ess D = - "'.''ss. '''e "os'-
A. nc .n,o,nte,, tn. tho ah;ot
neared = 'ris .oa.rs Iahn TIL M, rha.' as.o.s p ap
smiling conf;aanlly ). thonah ar,. 80 s, ~ -
cess. while Tom s,sn,as 1ookad ',;tt,a .;.a;a ia
and ,,easv - t,o,rh -, - s,;,a 80 s,'u
csrninr vhst - ,h..aea,a 49, .eI - ,: go oo''-
.ns "na' ""s 20 oeso'Ile u MN. =
All r..dv .ns ,er.a - ,ran, : 80, .po.,.
- 's.uy' answered. . LON. beSin as soon
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
snuff, Smoke. and ChaW.
Comm Issioner Douglass and the Tobacco
Tax.

I Fhe New York Herald's Washington cor.
respondent writes that Commissioner Doug.
lass to-day decided that unless smoking to-
bacco manufactured before the Ist OF July
was removed from the factory it would have
to pay the tax Of twenty cents, even though,
it had been stamped with the sixteen cent
stamp. The reason for this is that the Rev
anue Bureau holds that under the law no tax
can accrue until it is removed for sale. and 70
| hold it in the factory would be to evade the
| law.
Manufacturers of smoking tobacco are
working day and night the largest.number Of
hands that can be employed in making six
teen-cent smoking tobacco, before the law
raising the tax to twenty cents goes into ef
for stamps Of this grade is SO great that the
Internal Revenue Bureau is not able to fur
nish them, although all extra press ls en-
,ployed on this branch alone. Manufacturers
will profit by the advance to the extent that
they carry large stock. The receipts from
the sale of stamps will increase the revenue
this month very much.
On ana aIter Jnly 1, 1914, every person VINO
sells or offers tor sale manufactured tobacco,
snuff or cigars, except manufacturers of
those articles who sell only their own pro-
ducts at the place of production, will be re-
quired to pay special tax at the rate of five
dollars per annum. without regard to the
amount OF his annual sales. The exemption |
Of persons whose annual sales do not exceed
500 is repealed by the new law
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

Pure water will absorb many unpleasant
odors, pan full of clean fresh water from
well or spring. placed in room which has
been newly painted will absorb during Il
night SO much of the smell Of the paint AS to
be totally unfit to drink. "A bowlof water
remaining il, ! close sleeping-room win inn
hibe very unpleasant flavor. ssfsassf.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

e The neatest thing in the suicidal line is 70
dli yonr mouth with ganpowder and then
chew upon percussion caps until the explo-
sion comes. The kind Of man who tries this
never .spoiis the adjacent furniture with
brains, for obviols reasons.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

= fisangor man while earnestly urging tenn
perance IN discussion, 4 few days since,
emphasized his argumens hy i forciblo ee.-
1are with his umbrelia, when out fiew ! s acl
bottle, which, breaking il pieces o. fl,e nave.
t's,'l, gape out the sweet Udur of the bnsf nd
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
II California.

The new Central Pacific Railway general
delivery depot will be 800 feet long, {
One hundred and sevcnty-seven marriages,
and about the same number Of divorces il
the San Francisco matrimonial market re-.
port FOR May. ssa
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

1 A married woman in San Francisco ha.
la1eiy been trying to make Il prodigal son Of
herself. She ran away with another man.
and after enjoying season of good times.
her paramour eloped, and she suddenly came
@ neri senses. She resolved to 60 right back
70 her husband and fell him Just how near
the fellow had treated her. She saw no signs
q g iatted calf being killed but, ol, the con-, 8
lri'ry. there was wedding going on at the
lo'Hse.i Her husband had obtained divorce.
and was taking another chance in the lottery
@ Afe. She says She has lost all faith ii
I hese n1en-just as soon as ron laayo them
for little while. they will get mad.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
Nevada.

The Ely mine shipped $lse,ooo of bullion
in June.
Virginia City is soon to have 81 900 fire
engine.
There is scarcity OF miners in the eastern
mining districts OF Nevada.
A new paper is to be started in Eastern
Nevada in the interest of Sharon and Nye.
So says the Reese River Reyeile.
Alno the entire stock of the Independent
Gold Mining Company. of Butte county is
advertising for delinquent assessment. The
sale will be resisted by the stockholders as
tpe stock is endorsed unassessable.
company is about to be incorporated TO
bring water from Trout cre4k into Hum
boldt Wells, for drinking and irrigating pur-
poses. The water in the vicinity of the
Wells is not healthy, and all along the Hum
boldt river the same may be said to be true
Of the well water. Il,
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

A BAND which sere AIDED 4 vonnr rr,arri.,,
couple IN one Of our suburban towns the
oaner evening selected peculiarly hapE,ny
ana natterlng piece known ~ II,.hc, iffs,kAr
Married the Balloons Sister,
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11

The Rev. Mr.. "A. had charge Of q Metho-
dist church i'm small Western village His
parishieners consisted mainly Of hard-work-
ing farmers and their wives, and these, being
wearied with the hard labor of the previous
week. had remarkable tendency to fall
asleep during the services. On one occasion
the reverend gentleman glanced around on
his congregation and found them, with few
exceptions, slumbering placidly. Suddenly
pausing in his sermon, he requested Deacon
s. to pass around the plate. The deacon.
thus accosted. rose to his feet, and with a
very red face, said: "Why, Brother A.. the
collection has already been taken up
s.Never mind Brother S.. !. replied the minis
ter; sstake up another, for intend TO make
The congregation pay for lodgings as well as
lor spiritual rood" And when the second
had been taken up, the congrrga-
ion was very wide-awake indeed. Hearth
md Eonss.
The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1872-07-11
A Fight Between Catfish and a
MOccasin Snake.

The Savannah (Gs.) Republican tells the
following as vouched for by gentleman OF
that city who recently had occasion to visit
the marsh on the other sids. of the river.
While over there standing in the marsh. near
a pool of water, he noticed that something
was going onin it that one is not accustomed
to seeing every day, and on investigating the
spiatter that was being made in the water.
found that a very large moccasin and a good
sized catfish were havinga terrible fight. The
occurrence was highly interesting to him.
and he got as near as possible to see what
would be the end sf it, The oonrbatante
were fearfully in earnest. and terribly ener-
getic IN their efforts to annihilate each other.
The catfish would make daring passes at the
snake, always using his fms to sti, K his an
tagonist with, and the snake. OH the other
hand, would have to be equally energetic hi
keeping clear Of the sharp point Of the cat
tish's fins. The moccasin would throw him.
self into striking position, and strike very
fast, in order to be equal to the frantic surpes
OF the catfish. At last, the catfish, in making
a passat the snake, stuck his sharp fins some
where in tender part of the snakes belly.
and the moccasin in turn clinched the catfish
ln the back part of the neck. In this position
both antagonists clung to each other until
they were dead-the poison in both seeming
equal The fight lasted about twenty min
ltes, including the last clincl of the contest-
ants.