Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-09-08

EMPTY VANITY.
How i. was Punished By a Pretty elrn.
Tis passing wise to know,
Ere we are told,
The melancholy truth
That we grow old.


The melancholy truth
That we grow old.
Unhappily true Is 1t that all men do not
grow wiser as they grow older. A moral or
Intellectual akn often. in fact, grows
stronger as one grows older. and s~dtosyncra-
cies OF thought or expression become more
and more absurd, II absurdities be indulged.
| A shallow-pated eoxconb, addicted to mental
habits that the world laughs at, and to stilted
modes of expression designed to impress vul-
gar people with the idea OF greatness or force,
fails of his purpose, the transparent fraud is
detected, and the assumption OF airs of Wis
dom, as a cloak for Ignorance, renders
he stood before mankind in all his native
nakedness. These reflections are suggested
by the habitual conduct Of a carpetbag office
holder He is addicted 10 stall talking" and
owes tituiar greatness to the Governor of a
neighboring State. 1t is the peculiar weak
ness of THIS dOtard, since addictedness TO
whisky is not peculiar, to fancy himself a
veritable Apollo, q hear-smasher, q king OF
hearts. II looks like the Jack OF Clubs.l He.
has a peculiar mack, too, In social life, when
impressing his auditors with the vastness of
his learning, in properly, using some supposed
unusual word and saying that's the word,
meaning, haven't I?p and he then grins self
complacently. He has q passion IaffecteCl
for music, and utterly ignorant Of the divine
art he always asks the girls to play the newest
pieces. Nothing but the latest and newest
satisfy the eXactions of his cultured taste.
Yesterday he visited, as is his wont, a pretty
charmer on Shelby street. She had detected
the fraud and discovered his ignorance, and
when he insisted that the latest novelty
should be rendered, the adrOit demoiSeHe
asked him If he had heard the latest melody.
oh, :, she exclaimed, lit is divinely beautl-
full, IL is ra~vishingly sweet beyond all the pro-
auctions of Beethoven and Mozart" what
is ii ?' asked the learned Judge.
q 1t is Bob PattersOn'S Chase of q Thousand
SQUIRRELS" answered the maiden with rigid
features and compressed lips. Our Judge
wrote down the words saying, "I1l ave it."
Yesterday afternoon he visited the several
music stores in the city, and in his solemn
tones and impressive manner, asked each
music yender, "Have YOU the latest novelty
that's the word isn'tit? Have you the divine
ly beautiful new song, "Bob Patterson's
Chase of One Thousa ndSquirrels," which has
pressed by the solemnity of the Judge, each
music vender answered solemnly: ~ am
sOrry to say we have not, but viii order copies
at once" BY accident-drinks-the Judge
called twice with the same story and at the
same music shop. The music dealer
unknown Judge "what was 1t You ant ~
"The divinely beautiful song Bob Patterson's
Chase Of a Thousand squirrels, '"Wasthe grave,
sonorous answer. 81 have 10 say" nsWer
the piano punisher, "that you are the second
ID fool who has been here to-day for that"
The Judge looked inquiringly for a time in
10 the musical lace. Fumes OF whisky were
swept away and the Judge recollected that he
was both the first and second, and the only IN
quIrer for that marvellous song, Bob Patter-
sons Chase ola Thousand squirrels" He skunk
away and left the city on the five O'Clock
train, neyermore to simper and affect a
taste of which he has not the slightest appre-
citation, and an intelligence of which he is in
capable. Vain, ignorant men and affected
women are societys great pests, and il is well
to have a Shrewd, fair creature like her OF
Shelby street to expose the shallow frauds.