The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-10-11

| innings went ON SD lot opOut UlOutn,
and one Sunday screwed up my spunk
and put the question to her. She sort~r
laughed spd sertss looked one sided,
I and finally told me she couldn't give
me an nswer just then, but If I'd call
at her house next Thursday evening,
she'd give me a final answer. Thinks
!, you re mine just as sure.as there's a
fiddler below Whenever woman
takes time to study she'll say yes.
Squire, don't the poets say something
about the calculation Of men and rats
| going crooked?" ~r,s4AN
| = Mice end men, Burns says an
| swered. tf
swell, mice and rats is all one, and
so is men and fools sometimes, as have
found out in my travels was so sure
1 she would haso me that went off and
spent all my money for fine clothes,
thinking ! would have them ready for
the wedding-and l did 4! Confouna
that widow, l say! Confound all wild.
! ows. Thursday evening came at last,
although twas long time about it,
and over l went, dressed into fits, and
feeling as big as Josh Raynor did when
he was elected coroner. got there
about dark and found right smart
| crowd oollec ted, which was not on the
bills, but fel. as big and as good as the
rest of 'em. So marched in like
blind mule into potato patch, and
took seat by the FIRE. / didn't see
anything of the widow, but kept look.
ing for her to come in or send for me,
and passed away the time cussin' the
crowd to myself, thinking they had no
business there, and | would not get to,
talk TO my woman a bit Presently the
door opened, and in walked Polly and
the dad-burned doctor and a whole
team of boys and girls fixed up savage.
ly, tell you. looked around for
fiddler, thinking they were about to
have ball, but wondered what they
al KEEP 80 still for, and was about pro.
pcsin' a reel, when up gifts a little
preacher, and before you could swallow
a live oyster he had Polly and the Doc
tor married faster than a Mexican
greaser could tie bulls horns. was
so completely Aummuxed that set
there with my mouth open like I was
gong to swallow the whole crowd, and
my eyes looked like billiard balls till
the ceremony was over, when jumped
up and beloved
IL forbid the concern from being con.
stituted"
"You are little too late, my friend"
says the preacher; and they all com.
menced laughing like they had seen
something funny.
"Tll be burned swizzled if don't be
soon enough for somebody yet, said |
for l was mad, Squire, and no mistake
in the ticket l do believe could have
eat up that doctor quicker than hun.
CRY dog could swallow squirrel skin, if
l could have had q fair chance at him.
1t was too bad, after l had fixed up to
marry her myself, for her to walk right
out under my eyes and marry that great
baboon."
"It was bad, that is fact said I.
"Badr' cried he. at was meaner
than eating fried coon. first thought |
I'd 60 straight home, but then l con.
Guided that wouldn't spite nobody, SO |
concluded to stay and see if could not |
get satisfaction out of somebody. You
know I'm the devil to get myself or
somebody else into a scrape when take |
a notion, and I'd taken one that night |
that went all over me like a third day |
chill; SO commenced q studyin' out |
some plan. / recollected hearin' the
doctor say that where he come from
but the Lord only knows where that
was-the bride and groom always wash.
ed their faces together before they went
to bed, as charm against infidclity or
imbecility, or some other long word.
While was studyin' about that, spied /
the doctors saddle bags setting in the
corner; SO waited till they went in to
supper, and then / got the bags and
looked to see what / could discover.
Nearly the first thing saw was a stick
of lunar caustic. slipped it into my
pocket, for had my plan as soon ~
saw it. Well, Watched around till
saw one Of the girls go to the pail with
the pitcher; go | went out and asked
her what she was going TO do with it.
She said she was going to carry it to
the room for the doctor and Polly to
wash their faces in. kept talking to
her while she was filing the pitcher,
and when she turned her head drop
ped the caustic into it. 1t was then
about bedtime, and 1 got my hat and
put ont, but couldn't help laughing
all the way home, whenever I'd think
about it next morning.
swell, Squire, they DO sly that when
that couple walked up the next morning |
they both had the hardest kind Of fits,
each one thinking they had been sleep.
ing with niger. Oh, it was rich He
a cussin' and tearin' up things, and she
a screamin' and faintin', and comm too,
and goin' off again, and me not there
to see it. They made such rascally
racket that the folks broke into the
room to see what was the matter, and
there they was with their faces and
Ia nd as black "a the insida Of a stove. |