The St. Cloud journal. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1866-1876, 1872-03-14

81 A..Go AK ~ ARrRMus WARD. .
The Fat Contributor, ID some reool.
|lections Of Artemus Ward, tells tho
following story::
u the spring of 1869, I accepted .
proaored editorial position on tho Cleve'
Hand Natiou.l Democrat, aud renewed
my acquaintance with Artemus. $50
b On the first evening Of my arrival
he volunteered to show me around-a
very desirable achievement, IS | was to
Gil The position Of city editor. he
Showed mo: arouod": so successfully
that about two o'clock in tho norniog
I began TO feel almost n much At home
in Cleveland Is though I had lived
there Ill my days, 10 say nothing Of
my nights. Artemus, invited me to
share his bed with him for tho remain
der Of the night, and I accepted: =
Adjoining the room lodged . Yong
professor Of eloeution, Who was endeay-
oring to establish a school in Glove.
land. He was lust starting out ia
business, aud was naturally anxious to
propitiate the press.
.Let's get the professor up" said
Artemus, "and have him feoite to Us. ,"
I demonstrated With him; reminded
him Of the lateness of thu hour j.; that /
wasn't acquainted With the professor
and that but to no purpose. ~-s..
cite is . public man. said Ward,
land public men are glad to meet
members OF the press, IS, restaurants
are supposed to get up warm meals at
all hours"
/ tHe gave laundering rap on the
door rs he'shouted:
"Proiesor-r-r y
"Who's there? What Yer want p
cried = mufned- voice, evidently from
beneath the bed. clothes, for it was =
most: bitter. oola night in February. :
at is Browne, Of the Pga;ndeal-
er," said Artemus, aud nudging mo
gently in the ribs, he WHISPERED, "That'll
feto b him. The power Of tho press is
invincible. 1t is the Archimedean lev
er which"
y, His remarks we're interrupted by the
opening Of the door, and I could just
discover the dim outline Of \ <shirted
form shivering in tho doorway.
excuse me for disturbing you, Pro.
fessor," said Artsmus, In his blandest
manner, "but am anxious to intro
duce my friend here, the new 'local' OF
the Democrat. He has heard much Of
you, aud declares positively that he
can't go to bed until he hears you elo-
cute" '-. .;@.: i --..: IL! d -
r "Hears me what 7" asked the pro.
fessor between bis chatteriug' teeth.
"Hears you elocute -recite -declain
understand ?-specimcn Of your clio.
cution." =: -
| In vain did the professor plead the
lateness Of the hour, and bis ffs had
gone out. Artemus would accept n
excuse.
! "Not at al necessary. Eleqaeuce,
my dear boy, is not dependent on th'
gas. nerc, STRENGTHENING up = chat
he had just tumbled over,) get RICH
up !. on this chair and give Us The DO!
~ I've burning deek,' addiu.
burning deck will ~~.n him NM
Gently, yet firmly, o.. Artem,
, boost tho reluctant professor upon 1h,
chair, Prv'9ot'"eA-4 r-.-o:-~ -'~.>
necessary for his appearance, and .xsur
ing him that ''clothes didn't make tn,
man," although the shivering discipl
Of Demosthenes aud Cicero probsbl
thong hit that clothes would make I ma,
more comfortable on such night .
that. -
He gave US "Casabianoa," with
good many quavers Of the voice, as hi
stood quaking, in a single short, white
garment; then followed, ''On Linden
when the sun was low" "Svord 81
Bunker Hill" etc, "by particular re-
guest of our friend" as Artomus Ward
said, although l was too noarly suf.
located With suppressed laughter, to
make even a last dying request Had il
been necessary. It was 50 ludiereas to
depict-the professor, m indistinc!
white object standing on the chair eel
ocntings," As Ward had it, and We sit
ting on the floor, holding our sides
while A. W. would faulty whisper be.
tween his pangs Of mirth, '"'Jast he.,
him" .n's .,>i - Il ~ ~ ,... ,s:s:.
It wasn't1n Wards heart TO hsve
fun at the expense Of smother without
recompense; 90 pext day I remember.
ed he published . lengthy and entirely
serious acooantof our visit to the pro.
fessor's ''rooA spoke Of his wonder.
tul powers Is an elocut,onist, and ex::
pressed the satisfaction and delight
with which We listened to his "unequal,
led Rotations" Tho professor was
overjoyed, and probably is ignorant { "a
this day that Artemus was "playing ii
on him. ~. - ~ go . - -
Small potatoes are generally used
for 5.sprouting, but large ones give
stronger plants. ! Linden OF bass. wood
is good for troughs. White walnut il