The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-10-11
VARIETIES.

if we would have powerful minds we
must think.
A good medicine after toe much duck is
quack pill, we are told.
1t is said that cork screws have sunk
more thar cork jackets have ever saved.
A widower was recently rejected by
damsel who didn't want q "warmed over"
man. . ...... ,.
Another Illinois woman has kindled
her fire with kerosene oil, and left ten Or
phan children.
1.-THE gaunt spectre of cholera stalks
through the East" says an exchange. This
must be the cholera in-phantom.
Abusing ones relations in the bosom
of ones family, is said to be one of the
swnntnst nf dnmaetin nr;uilaoaa
An excellent mother, in writing to one
of her sons on the birth of his eldest child,
says :-"Give him an education, that his
life may be useful; teach him religion, that
his death may be happy"
mister, how do you sell sugar to day?"
"Only twenty cents pound, sir" Cant
give it.. I'll drink my coffee without SUI
gar, and kiss my wife for sweetening. Good
day, SIR" "Good day. When you get tired
OF that kind of sweetening, please call
round again." II will" He called next
day.
The Danbury Comm Neaos says: can
individual named Phelps, suffering from
dyspepsia, commenced series of horse
back rides this morning. On the road be-
tween here and Beaver Creek the animal
stepped one side to climb over fence,
when Mr.. Phelps got off. He says riding
horseback cuts up the roads too much"
1T is reported that man in Cincinna-
tt fell from the top of four story building
to the stone sidewalk beneath without be-
ing injured in the least. He was a life in
surapce agent and struck ON his Cheek
At the time of his fall he was leaning on
the edge of the roof, showing his papers at
painter whom he had freed on swing
ing scaffold underneath.
The credit system has been carried to
very fine point in some of the rural dis
tricts, if we may judge from the following
dialogue, said to have occurred between q
customer and proprietor "Haow's trade,
Squire ?" "Waal, cash trades kinder dull
now, Major. Betsy Nipper has bort an
eggs worth of tea, and got trusted for it
till her speckled pullet lays,
"A Detroiter lost peck book with
seven cents in it, and went daily to the Po-
lice Station for week to learn if any It'd
ings had come oft. Finally the Sergeant,
tired of his questionings, gave him seven
cents, which he received thankfully, re-
marking 81 tell you it made me feel bad,
as saw the Poor-house looming up before
me-"
AN economical Iowan, who had tooth
ache, determined to remove his tooth in
the Indian fashion. Accordingly he bent
down sapling in the woods, lay down
himself, and attached stout cord TO his
tooth and the sapling. Then he touched
the spring, and the next he knew he had
jumped over grove of about forty small
trees, and was trying to get out of q small
pond that he happened to alight in.
A Southern paper advertises as follows:
"Wanted, at this office, an able-bodied,
hard featured, bad-tempered, not to-be-
put-off and Observation-Disclosures, freck-
led-faced young man to collect for this pa
per; must furnish his own horse, saddle
bags, pistols, whiskey, bowie-knife and
COWulue we Will luTnlSu tHe accounts.
To such we promise constant and laborious
employment.
"A Hartford paper recalls the fact that
several years ago charcoal peddler in hat
city had Newfoundland dog, which he
learned to jump into his basket and lie low
while he filed in the charcoal. When the
peddler carried the basket, very full, into
the cellar, the purchaser, looking out of the
window and checking the number of loads,
was quite satisfied. The dog, well trained,
walked out with his master as if nothing
had happened. The daughter of this old
charcoal peddler has spent several sum-
mers at Saratoga with two large solitaires :
upon her person.