The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-07-11
JOTTINGS.
England has 32,623 breweries.

|
Ofthe scventy-four United States Sena-
tors, fifty arc lawyers.
Old Maids are fond Of pairs, but cannot
bear any reference to dates.
! A North Carolina woman was buried in =
feather bed, according to her desire.
| Out West they call bride "pecuniary
compliment" and say no more about it.
An Illinois newspaper has suffered from
three libel suits to the amount of 80 cents
The sleeveless jackets take precedence Of
all other styles of outdoor garments this sea-
| son.
"Playing Texas on 'em" is the Alabama
vernacular for the final disposition of horse
thieves.
When should dairy-man use the letter
in place of u? When he wants to make butter
better.
A popular doctor in Owego gives prescrip.
tions with directions to "take one teaspoon
full every three years.
A rural New York father has named one
hapless child Ajax lebanon, and another
Agamemnon Achilles
A shrewd old lady compares her husband
to tallow candle he always sputters and
smokes when he's put out.
An undertaken in Mount Vernon advertis-
es: Cohins made and repaired on short no.
tice.~
In Manila %, 900 women and girls work
at cigar making at average wages Of seuen
cents per day. t
Why is new born babe like the relief of
Lucknow? Because it's the long expected
sucker.
Conceit is said to be better capital to
start with in life than money. Issit? Give
us capital.
Get your sweetheart new set Of teeth as
o Christmas present" is the invitation of an
advertising dentist.
Chicago is not likely to have its gift library
from modern British authors" and no one
will be sorry for it.
Lecturing is at a very low ebb in England.
Only noblemen or very distinguished parties
can draw an audience.
It is surmised that Dickens, as reporter,
did his reporting on 'Change-he has furish.
ed so many stock quotations.
Some ofthe iron columns of the Boston.
new post-ofice. building are thirty-three feet
high, andweigh over twelve thousand pounds
each.
A paper, in pulling certain soap, says it
I is the "best ever made for dirty mans face
We have tried it, and therefore We ought to
know
A policeman asked drunken athiop
whom he could scarcely see in the dim light
of cell, care you eolorod?" "Colored,
no; dis yer chile born So"
"Is civilization afailure" asks the chief
organ of the Democracy in Montana Will
contemporaries be kind enough to answer
tho momcnteous question?
A Western editor, in writing the obituary
of respectable citizen, says "that he has
gone to that undiscovered burn"
Mary had little lamb,
She had it in the garden,
And every time it wagged its tail,
1t spoilt her Dolly Warden.
An epitaph on North Carolina mule is
as follows:
Here lies mule, blind as bat,
The more corn you'd give him. the less he'd
grow fat;
He belonged to the bummers of old Bill
Sherman,
And mules, like this we all say, durn 'em.
An exchange has found out when Adam
was married Of course it was on his we'd
ding Eve; most every body knew it be-
fore.
Several people who have answered an ad-
yertisencnt promising correct likeness Of .
yourself, and your fortune told, for fifty
cents, have received three-cent mirror, and
informed that they cam tell their own fortunes
by counting their money.
The State Superintendent of Maine sent
out this question: "Can you suggest any
amendments to the school law of the State?"
The School Committee of Mariavile answer.
ed: ."We recommend the establishment of
reform school for meddlesome parents"
"IIello, Ben"
GHello, back again What dye wan't?"
"IIow's yer folks this IN orning"
"Purty well. Mothers smart as usual
Jim and Tom wcll-an' father died last
night"
the bucket bout II o'clock, and I've got
his watch! Say, just going up to prison to
see cousin Joe hung, will ye go"
There is Methodist church which stands
on the boundary line between Ohio and
Pennsylvania, in such way that the pnlpit
is in the former State and the pews in tho
latter. A Pennsylvania paper thereupon
takes occasion to state that while the hearers
are in one State their preacher is in another
State discoursing on the future State.