The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-05-09
Sad Effects of the "Dony Warden" Fashion.

If husbands are to be mistaken in "Dolly
Warden" dresses, as with an unfortunate nus
band in Philadelphia the sooner the fashion Is
souelehed, the better will it be for the peace Of
society. The husband in question one night
missed from the supper table his wife Matilda
and INQUIRED of his little boy whittier had she
gone, and just at that moment the dining-room
door opened and lady entered. The husband
observed a wild look in her eye, and also no.
ticed that she was attired in an outlandish
style, having on, as he says, dress with sun
flowers, and cabbages, and pumpkins, worked
all over it, and lot of snakes squirming
around for back ground.
Rising, the man said: MADAM, whom do
you wish to p" and then said, aside, Poor
thing, she's crazy" That last remark settled
the business for him, as the weird female made
bolt and tightly grasped his Adams apple
and choked him until his face assumed the
color of banner of the Commune. Alter she
had enjoyed surfeit of choking her husband,
she Topped into chair, and with tears cours-
ing each other down her cheeks, exclaimed
SThat should ever live to- hear my husband
say that I was crazy"
This amused the husband, and elevatlng him.
self to his full proportions, said:
ssYou can't blame me, Madam, for supposlng
Won an insane woman, and now that L know
you are the mother of these interesting chill
dren, will you have the kindness to retire to
the sanctity of your chamber and peel
yourself of that piece of furniture chintz, OF
window curtain, or whatever it IS you call 1t.
"Window curtain, chintz ]" said the spouse
"why it's you that's out of your head. That's
Dolly Warden, and very pretty pattern, too.
"Madam," replied the husband, "we may be
out of head, but if that is a Dolly Warden we
are most decidedly out of pocket. Why, II
looks like circus dress, and the idea Of wo-
man at your time of life"
"My time of life !"
eyes, your time of life The next thing,
suppose, you will be practcing the trapeze act
in the back yard. Why, it is enough to give
man the delirium tremens to look at IT.. VINO
ever saw such pattern? It's flash wall paper
run mad. You look exactly like some Japa.
nese tea sign. And now just bounce out ol
here with that Feeje battle flag, or you'll scare
the baby to DEATH
There was an ominous pause for moment
and then the eldest daughter said: :,
"Why, you ought to be ashamed OF yourself
father It's all the style, and 1 am going to
have one, too; there now" Yes, and want
one; all the girls have got them." Thus spoke
Maria, the second eldest. "Any more% gasp.
ed the husband; "are there any more? Hadn I
the baby better have one? Guess I'll get one
myself. How do they make up for pantaloons
Ha! Ha! Ha! (Demoniacally.) Let me have
a Dolly Warden. Let me clutch it: Bring me
a pattern of monkeys selling lamp posts
How would Chinese puzzle look, or map Of
Fairmount Park?"
The unhappy husband has just been liberia
ted from an asylum and pronounced cured
But the only way they managed it was to dress
him in Dolly Warden, marked out with the
ground plan Of the streets of Boston.