Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-09-14
Varieties.

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SPELL. .BoUND-Children at school.
FowER of evil--A power of attorney.
A NATURAL highway-Thc milky way.
"TALEs from real life" - Chinese
queues.
WHEN is woman wrong? When
she is u miss.
A JOINT affair with but single party
to -Rheumatism.
JONES says that Il pawnbroker's office
must be a loan some place.
WHEN is a lawyer like a donkey?
When he is drawing n conveyance.
AMY RICHARDSON, of Iowa, weighs
352 pounds. This is the latest case of
big-Amy.
WHEN may your money be said to be
glad to see you? When it is mute
elated currency.
INCREDIBLE us it may seem many of
the richest planters in Jamaica live on
coffee grounds.
In New Hampshire they call elope-
ment suicide. This is not SO bad; he
sued and she sighed.
Why is moth fluttering round
candle like a man getting off u horse2
Because they are both going to alight.
WHEN a man who has tried every
thing and found it will not answer, let
him go where there is an echo and try
that.
AN Evansville editor wears sac<cloth
because he wrote "anOther factory"
and lived to see in print a mother fac
tory"
THERE are two things in this world
that are not safe to be tritled with---a
woman's opinion and the business end
of a wasp.
Two Russian editors have been fined
and imprisoned for having given circu
lation to the rumor of Alexis secret
marriage in this country.
AFTER all, when Napoleon Ill. was
deposed, he lost less than amy of his
subjects, for he only lost u crown, and
they sovereign.
The man who called for tea, at an or
dinary, "as strong as the kick of a
mule,' complains that he got it Gas
weak as a good resolution"
AN Irish paper concludes a biography
of Robespierre with the following SEN
tence: "This extraordinary man left
no children except his brother, who was
killed at the time"
A New YORK Judge has decided that
signs and banners across the street are
illegal distractions, as II street is not the
mere surface of the earth, but embraces
also the light and air above it.
A STROKE of lightning accomplished
the destruction of l,70O gallons of whis-
ky in an Indiana town, a few days ago,
but an eyewitness says it was pretty
even tussle between the two.
A WESTERN traveller writes /" In
passing through the burnt district of
Wisconsin, saw no shrubs or briers
anywhere, thing never saw before,
and would not have believed had not
seen it,
TIE last mana cobbler. A tight
tit-Delirium tremens. A water pitcher
"A fire engine. A shaky business
Making jellies. A water-spout-A tee
total lecture. Real water colors-Green
and blue. An innocent cuss-Darn it.
% DO YOU think Jonah cried when he
was in the fishs belly2" was the ques-
ton put to an oily seaman by sleek
querist. s. Don't know" replied Jack,
but should think not, as there was
plenty Of blubber without his'n.'
JOSH BILLINGS, in his directions "How
to pick out q good hoss,' says: "Good
hosses are skarse, and good men, that
deal in emmy kind of hosses, are skar-
SER AN honest man IL the noblest
work ov God : this famous saying was
written in great anguish of heart, by the
late Alexander Pope, just after buying
a good family hoss."
An Eastern editor participated re-
Gently in the blissiul operation of house
cleaning. He was intrusted with the
artistic operation Of painting the
kitchen chairs. He finished one Of
them and sat down on it to paint the
others. They had to build a fire under
the chair to thaw him off. 1t ruined
the chair, but he has had a bay window
set in his pants, and they are now about
as good as new.
New Fire EXtinguisler.