The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-04-18
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

should, auld acquaintance be- forgot
No. if they have money - :
Mock Turtle-Kissing before company
aud lighting afterwards ## FFgs
Girls nowadays, it is SAID, know too
much at fifteen, and too little at fifty
tits queer woman who asks no aues-
tons, but the woman who does is the quer-
list. a3 tu
A young lady has brought libel suit
against her mother, as the only means to
get a mother-in-law.
A Missouri husband obtained divorce
because his wife insisted on naming tbs
baby "Forney." "
A minister not lone AGO preached from
the text, "Be we, therefore, steadfastr"
but the printer made him expound from
I % Be We there for breakfast" #@
A Missouri editor sdvertises to take corn
in pay for his paper. lie says he prefers
to have it in a liquid state, but will take it
in the ear if he can't get it otherwise
Domestic young lady (making a pie)-
! Frank, the kitch.n is no place for boys.
Has dough such an attraction for yoas"
/ Clever youth" 1t isn't the dough. cousin
its the dear -
\ LAZY writer says, if women were as
I particular in choosing a virtuous husband
as men are in selecting a virtuous wife, q
moral reformation would soon begin, which
would be something more than froth and
! foam.
| A wrctched husband in St. Paul adver-
tises for the recovery of his wife, ga taul
woman, with gray eyes and small babe
just beginnin' TO wauk, who had been
appropriated by ga taul pox market Teller,
with rei hare
Have the courage to give, occasionally,
that which you can i'll afford to spare;
giving what you do not want nor value
neither brings nor deserves thanks in re-
turn. Who is grateful for drink of water
from another's Overlooking well, however
delicious the Drought
A gentleman in the vicinity of Philade!-
phia recently lost his wife, and a Young
miss of six, who came to the funeral, said
to his little daughter of about the same
age: "Your pa will marry again, won't
he? p ooh, yes!' was the reply; "but
not until after the funeral"
a Troy paper recently printed two
articles one Ct which was an obituary no.
tice and the other funny anecdote.
The headings accidentally got changed, and
when the paper appeared the editor was
Mortified to see the obituary notice headed
A Good joke" while the funny anec-
dote was prcfxed with the caption, +" A
Sad Announcement"
A soldier who was an inyeterate Joker
and punster, having had his nose, left cheek
and portion of his chin, carried away by
a shot in the battle Of Shiloh, was asked
by some Of his comrades if they could do
anything Cor him, Boys" said he, speak
ing as we'll a< he could in his mangled con-
dition, % should like drink of water
mighty well, if | only had tie face to ask
for it,"
1t is not work that kills men, it is
worry, Work is healthy; you can hardly
pat more upon man than he can bear.
Worry is rust upon the blade. 1t is not
the revolution that destroys the machinery,
but the friction. Fear secretes acids; but
love and rust are sweet juices.
A good story is told of St. LOUIS mob
by dry goods clerk who attended dance
IN the rnral district a few evenings since
He wore a Chevoit shirt, and put on
great many airs. He was somewhat taken
down, however, when he overheard one
country lass say to another, "That St.
Louis chap Slings on a heap of style for
Il teller that wears Il bed-tic shirt"
The New London Comm Star says
"Therc's a travelling doctor in town He
goes from house to house, opens the door,
sticks his wise-looking head inside, and
sings out, Anybody in here got the rheu-
matism, coughs, colds, neuralgia, heart
disease, small pox, or any thing else?'
Upon being answered in the negative, or
not at all, he says, Glad of it! bangs the
door and goes on"
Jones and his wife were always quarrel.
ing about their comparative talent for keep
ing fire. She insisted that just so sure
ly is he tried to rearrange the sticks with
the tongs he put the fire out. One night
the church bells sounded an alarm, and
Jones sprang for his fire bucket, eager to
rush to the confagration. "Mr. JONES'"
cried his wife, as he reached the door,
e" Mr.. Jones take the tongs!" g