The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1872-07-25

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A nesfra fEhanF N baWaAa
esls. tale aaufsfa 90 sc tss, ,hat NaouI.
8anRl8eraf Eua#b. was $50 Fear oI3
uEea ftn married
ramerly We treagei tl.ose wIla whoa
we differed 10 lhae39gg 20 hst stake.
sow wf oacr iAesa q cold Elouher.
When J8uah.s fellow passengers
Ellrt,oI llm overheard, uaey eTidealy re-
garloi hlm 81 neither prophet uoF l0fs,
"A Jaly paper advertise t9r girls for
cooking. A contemporary replies. Noa
vll like lbem raw whea gou get aeena-
toned to tbcm,
- Can you tell nc how Old tbo devil ist
aEel "a lueyereut fellow Of q clergy
man. Ny friend. sea mast keep your
own family record wAs tbe reply.
A lively glrI bal 9 bashfal lover
named Locke. Geuing out q patience
with Aln. IN l.ef anger, she said that
Shakespeare had not written half as many
llings s. be ought about Shy Locke.
Ms dear Polly, am surprised st
your taste IL wearing smother woinan's
hair Oh your bead, said Mr.. smith TO his
wife. Nv dearest Joe, | am equally as
iouisbed that you persist ia wearing an-
elher sheel's wool on y0nr back.
A small boy arose alta Sunday School
eanoen aud began quite glibly \ certain
mau went down to Jericho and iell-aud
fell. Here his memory began TO fail
him. Aud, aud-iell by the roadside,
and the thorus sprang uP aud ehoked
him
a little boy was sent to a store for
some eggs before reaching home he
dropped them. la answer 10 his mother
who asked, Did you break any be re-
piled, No, | didn't break any, but the
shell came oil from some OF them.
"A marble cutter recently received,
from German, an order for a tombstone
with the following epitaph My wife
susum is ded; If she'd had life till next
Friday she'd been ded shust two weeks.
As a tree falls so mush she stand. All
tlngs is impossible nit God.
a city fop who was taking an airing
10 the country, tried TO amusc himself by
qaizzing an old farmer about his bald
head, but was cxtinguished by the old
man, who solcmnly remarked, Young
man, when my head gets as soft as your'
eau raise hair to sell.
The modern woman, when she has
nail to drive, doesn't wait for her hus
band TO come home. She catches hold o
the nail, swings the hammer over he
head, aud plunges downward. Then sh'
ties up her fingers as well as she can
puts on her best bonnet and goes RICH
over to her mothers for good cry an'
her tea,
What an awful thing II II to die rich
Imagine the Master auditing the accoun
Of a servant who has left behind half
million. II that poor wretch who had bn
nno iaieui was east into outer darkness
because be laid II up,instead OF using 1t i
hIs Masters service, what win be door
Of those who, with their half millions an
millions, (while giving, II may be,a FEY
thousands for decency's sake,) haye,yea
after year, boarded up countless treasure
which they could never use. Think OF tn
poor saints piuchod with cold and hunger
Think Of tho Redocmer's cause langulsl
ing for the want offlthy lucre which the
hold with close-listcd seldshness!
Two ladies in Cincinnati found then
selves in very awkward position ii
other day Entering large dry gooS
store, their attention was attracted TO
handsome lay figure near the door. VIII
handsome velvet cloak that ISL sal
one Of the ladies. Yes, responded Il
other. aud how natural those curls ar'
Aud with that the lady raised her paras
aud gave the handsome figure a lit
poke 10 the back. The pretty curls b
gan to culver, aud the supposed imai
turned It's head, casting from two brig
eyes look Of amazcment upon the tv
ladies, whose establishment was SO /
tense that they hastily diappeared wit
out word Of apology for their ludicro
mistake.
-- Florence the comedian, tells cai
tai story of waiter at one OF the lohdi
hotels who was sadly given TO drink,
party Of Young men determined to reior
him, and one day read an imagina
paragraph from the paper relating Il
rible accident, IN which an inebriate,
blowing out candle, was killed by t
flames iguiting with the fumes Of
breath Jerry picked up his ears at Il
aud requested that the paragraph mig
bc read 70 him again, which was done
The evident horror Of the poor man, "
Immediately went Ia search OF the cook
borrow a prayer book Returning VI
iliis, DC expressed desire to take a solT
oath upon it, bcmoaned the fac. that
had been sorry iippler, and was briI
lug himself 10 rain, and then swore Il
never agaiu, so long a. be lived, wol
be attempt % blow out a candle.
sotHR TishtnEs
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