The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Gas Light.

~SAoAAN
The following arguments are offered
to the OskaIoosa Herald against light
ing that city with gas:
EDS. HERALD:-I attend ID gas
injunction meeting or an injunction
gas meeting-for the life of me EN-.
not tell which-last week, and as the
thing didn't pan out to suit me, now
propose to offer u few objections to the
introduction of gas in the city that
Maj Downing, Bill NeIham, or any
other small boy will have difficulty in
voting down. First, then, IL is anti
Democratic in all its tenslencies--I
believe in going it blind in all things
and there is nothing more jolly than
to fall off the sidewalk into the mud Of
dark night, and then have your wife
go for you for being 80 careless or
listen to her upon returning from
church with her best bonnet smashed,
one earring broken, and her Grecian
nose bert upward, consequent upon a
CDltlSlbD tIlS Val sDCCOHuly, We
will never get this town finished re .dy
for the painter il we allow these little
innovations over our cherished saucer,
lard and lamp wick lights. Thirdly;
gaslight is very injurious to the eyes,
and tans ones complexion worse than
moonlight. Fourthl.;; it enables
thieves, after stealing. to see how to
run away from the police, and thus
avoid capture. Filthy; our ROSTERS
will crow themselves blind and the
hens will lay themselves into the
Mysteries, thinking it is never-ending
day. Sixthly our young men will
take advantage OF the gas light to take
toll rs they pass each post, aud some
Of them would want to pass every post
in the city, and thus keep the girls out
late at night, and that too when they
know that kissing out in the weather
Seventhly the poor dogs Of which We
are nearly out, will kill themselves
chasing their own shadows, and oar
enterpri-ing hogs will wear their noses
off in trying to root up the lamp posts.
! and unless they are furnished with
patent rooters by the City Council, l
shall regard this proposition rs con
tanning two objections. Eighthly; it
| is proverbially true the world over,
that Damp-posts are dissipated that
they will get on sprees in spite Of Il |
/ the good Influences that can be thrown
around them aud that they at suci,
| times often seriously obstruct the way
4 OF gentlemen vino are on their return
home ut night. They often, on occa.
sions OF this Kind, will stoi, gentlemen,
! who will take hold of or lean upon
them for sacia! talk, and remain
1 II they let - they VIII fall into the
mud, and il they bold on, their wives
! will come for them with the broom
stick, and in either ease they are i'm for
/ a domestic storm. | oaca lived in n
city where the lamp posts got Oh a
bender regularly every Saturday night
and il was Very difficult for "A man to
/ pass them without getting his hat
! battered or his nose bruised This auy
close observer would at once see was
very annoying 10 a gentleman Of
refined feelings, particularly 50 if he
was trying to create "A good impression
and
school. In one instance | knew Il
very highly respected citizen, who was
returning home at night, when lac met
til,sy lamp post, which taking al.
vantage Of his loneliness, knoo ked him
down and stood threateningly over
him till "a late hour in The night, when
the fire. bell began to ring. Thinking
IT the town clock, my friend remained
silent 10 ascertain the time, and count
ed until he had numbered thirteen
strokes 81 the hammer, when he be-
came greatly alarmed 1T finding it one
hoar later than he han ever known il
before, he sprang t. his feet, dolyed
the post, and arrived home without
/ further incident. And unlers the Civ
Council require each post To sign the
pledge ar become responsible for their
conduct, | shall feel justified in claim.
Ing not less than six valid objections
IN this propositions. Ninthly and
lastly. iis we the tax paying citizens
ana supporters Of the body polite,
/ thank that thirty Years i too long "A
tiinc for Ir Pinkerton to tear up the
Old contract aud Treat nil round. there.
lore, be i una nlinonsly resolved, that
we are sorely oppressed.
Yours ~ Oppression
PADDY MILES
Tie tir-t day III Adams life must