Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-11-29

we were not ulSCourdSeu at tndt, dnU we ue
ternined to help them whether they invited
US or not. There were the toasts. Nothing
could be more appropriate than that Purely
Literary Club should get them up. We saw Dr..
Fauntleroy about it, but he didn't seem to want
US to do it. Somehow doctors always are so
opinionated. We told him we would get them
up anyhow and bring 'em around. He an
swered in very weak voice and locked the door
after we got out. There was full meeting of
the Club Saturday night and some of our mem
bers came around laden with Woods Practice
and Pancoasts Anatomy land Baxtsr's Saints
Rest and Buffers Analogy and Pilgrims Pro-
gress and other medical works of prominence -
a scath!ng commentary on the blindness Of those
doctors who thought we didn't know what we
were bout.
There was only one thing that didn't work
smoothly and that was the low views of Tomp
kins and one or two others, about the mission
of Purely Literary Club in getting up medical
toasts. The first toast he delivered was this
Castor Oil-Long may it wave.
1t was very hard to explain to Tompkins that
it wasn't medicine that was to be toasted, but
the noble profession. But when we did succeed
VS. thought he would be quiet for the rest of the
evening. We were mistaken. The next toast
by Smith was even more Objectionable th an his
1t was
The Undertaker-May his shadow never grow
less.
Everybody turned pale at this CHASTITY toast,
and it was too plain that Smith was drunk. All
the members combined to make things too hot
for him, but then, man in his situation don't
know when things are too hot. He insisted on
supporting his resolution" (he used to belong
to the legislature,) and made very violent
speech. He said an undertaken had as much
right to be toasted as doctor, and was safer
man. When man ent for an undertaken he
knew what he was going to get, but when he
sent for a doctor, he didn't His own family
had been thinned out by EN-. As for himself,
he wanted to be an angel. but he didn't want to
be one yet, and he soon would if he fooled with
doctors much. He had never been sick but
and doctor gave him an emetic that made
him throw up every thing he had eaten, and
pocket knife and lead pencil that he hadn't eaten
at all. AS for him he would rather shoot doc
tor than eat.
1t was clear that Smith was in 40 condition 10
continue the discussion and Ferguson rose with
toast:
Mrs Wnslow's Soothing Syrup-The moth
er's refuge.
There was general outcry against this, but
Furguson insisted that he should make speech
too. He said that that syrup was public bles-
sing. 1t had brought joy to the hearts of many
babies some of whom could testify to its value,
and would testify, except that they had gone to
heaven and couldn't conveniently got back. If
he had growing family he would have ba ire
of it on every floor. 1t was the best thing to
put babies to sleep with he ever knew Babies
had gone to sleep with it, who had sure thing
Of it until resurrection. He had known the live
Hest infants to take few doses and sing hymn
ents and-go to sleep.
Smith with much contempt Who wants
Susan syrup? Give me paragoric?
1t was with much difficulty that We stopped
the discussion and got up list toasts, and the
next day the committee carried them around to
DR. Fauntleroy's office with them There was
Grape on the front door. We asked who was
dead and the servant said he was. We asked
how he knew and he said, '"caLscI saw him
put dat Grape dar hisself'' The committee went
home.
The FIRE LIMITS OF SrAUNTox.-Ift the two last
disastrous fires in this country have shown any
thing, it is that, even with the most extensive
and best organized fire department, city may
be destroyed The true secret Of safety is in pre-
vention, and with this view Of the case, Staun-
ton affords very gloomy outlook. The frame
buildings around on the railroad near tho Mid
dlebrook bridge, admirably arranged into pat
ent Undertook, ready to be ignited by the clev-
erly located smoke-pipes, neatly inserted plump
up against the roofs are not calculated 20 re-as-
sure man desiring to invest in property in
Stanton. With strong west wind, twenty
minutes after this nest of buildings takes FIRE tho
city will be in blaze in half doz.n different
places and when it does, tho country people will
be looking next day for the spot where
Staunton stood. very wise ordinance was
introduced at the last meeting of the council
which provides for the prohibition Of the cree
ton of any wooden building or shed within what
shall be called "The Fire Limits" and these
ssLiiaits" are the space within the following
boundary: Beginning at the intersection Of
Frederick and Market streets, running South
along Market ard in direct line to the G. l.. O.
R. R. thence West along the the line of the G..
& O. R. R. to its intersection with Lewis street !;
thence along Lewis street to its intersection with
Esedsrick street; thence along Frederick to its
in @rsectioa with Market. Tbs adoption Of this
ordinance SiIl $40 to the security and conse-
quently to the value Of s.sy property:
An1onRxuEyr OF T6e GRAND LeDGE OF Coop
TEupLARs.-The Grand Lodss Ct GOOD lem
plars which assembled here las: weak, so3oarnsa
on Thursday night, to meet at Asexaadria, on
the third Wednesday of next November. IN al
dition to the action already published, it sleetsd
1. G. ONesl, of Alexandria, Representative to
the Right Worthy Grand Lodge which meets in
London, England. The attendance at the ses-
sion here was small, as has been the case At all
representative meetings since the prevalence Of
the epizootc. There were Is represen pres
ent from the 80 lodgesin Virginia. The election OF
Mr.. Chas. W. Miller, Chief Tsmplar of Virginia,
was rather an unusual event, he being only
about 10 years of age, and this being the first
office he has ever held in the Lodge. He is the
youngest man ever elected Chief Templar.
----S<S~~
THE WoRsr CASE OF EPIzoorIc.-The very
worst case of epizootic that occurred ia Staun-
ton was that near the Valley Bank. The ''boys'
thought it was good joke to take saddlsr's
wooden horse out, and tie it to a lamp post and
put blanket on its little back, and red fan mel
around its little legs, and send for vetinary