davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

pg- When Jackson was President, a heart
less clerk ran up an Indebtedness with poor
landlady to $50, and then turned her off, as
he did every other creditor. She finally went
to the President with her complaint, and
asked if he could not be compelled to pay the
BILL "He offers his note" she said, "but his
note is good for nothing" Said the President,
"Get his note and bring it to me-" The clerk
gave her the note with the jeering request
that "she would let him know when she got
the money on it." Taking it to the President
he wrote "Andrew jackson" on the back Of
it, and told her she could get the money at
the bank. When it became due the clerk re-
fused to pay the note, but when he learned
who was the endorser he made haste to "raise
the wind" The next morning he found
note on his desk, saying that his services were
no longer required by the government-and
it served him right
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

other Machines, while in several particulars IT. Is
superior, and is sold at less price than otner rt
cam will, in addition make perfect button and
eyelet hole, and do overseaming. -. All persons
who think we claim too much TOR TINS Machine,
are invited to call and see for themselves. Let
not prejudice hinder you from getting the best
Machine in the market. We are sole Agents Tor
We continue also, to act as Agents for the
MASON & HAMLIN ORGAN co. Their In
struments have no superior for beauty, sweetness
Of tone and durability: And while they are m
dispensabe to Churches, Sunday-Schools, &c,
they also afford to homes rational pleasure, and
an easy means for developing musical talent that
At the same time we continue to perpetuate
your beauty or ugliness, as the case may be, upon
Paper, Metal or Porcelain, by means OF PHOTo-
GRAPHY in all the various styles.
We have now on hand fine lot Of STEREO-
SCOPIC VIEWS of the Yosemite. PACIFIC Rail
road, White Mountains, &c. also, nice ALBUMS,
all of which we offer at prices to suit thetimes;
j. r, SCHORB & SON.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12
CAMPAIGN DISPATCH.
A LARGE THIRTY.TWO COLUMN PAPER
FOR
ONLY FIFTY CENTS!
THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN OF 1872

LIE C1hG64UGN xx0A Som3 o404s Va ASsS
rs fraupht with issues of momentous importance
to the people Of the South especially, as we'll
as to those Of the whole country. Everybody
will desire information of the progress Of con-
test which has just commenced; will wish to
principles and to receive the earliest news of all
events affecting the final result. To meet this
general public demand we propose to make
THE WEEKLY DISPATCH
A ST-CLASS CAMPAIGN PAPER, and to
put the price within the reach Of all. It will be
sent from the present time to the close of the can
vass in November next, at the LOW PRICE OF
FIFTY CENTS, when sent in Clubs OF five or
more addressed to one person. Single copies sixty
cents.
Besides the political news, the
CAMPAIGN WEEKLY DISPATCH
will contain all the important editorials Of the
DAILY; a careful and complete summary of the
foreign and domestic news latest news by tele-
graph from all parts of the world full and rela-
able Stock, Financial, Cattle and general Market
Reports; latest Agricultural and Horticultural
information proceedings of Scientific, Agric1-
tural Religious and Literary Societies all impor-
tant Legal Decisions of State and Federal Courts
reviews of the most interesting and important new
Books and, indeed, everything OF interest to the
Family Circle, the Merchant Farmer, Profession
al Man, Mechanic and Laborer.
@- The money must accompany every order.
Remttances may be made at onr risk in drafts,
postal money orders or registered letters.
Msy- PostInasters and others who get up clubs
of ten or more will he entitled to a free copy.
Address, COWARDIN & ELLYSON,
. 3 Richmond, Virginia
Nav 16 70
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

EARLY HoURs.-As we grow older, we
learn wisdom in this matter. The gray-haired
parent, whose dancing days are over, and
whose limbs are not elastic, is glad to hasten
ed-time, and to leave his daughters to their
foolish joy in the late hours. He would
lengthen his nights, in spite of his difficulty
in sleeping. Very few persons over sixty
years old care to sit up after eleven o'clock in
the evening, and most would rather be invisi-
BILE at an earlier hour. Old age may not
need more sleep than youth, but it is more
covetous of sleep, and sooner disgusted with
the days excitement "Go to bed early" is
the advice which the elders give to the youn-
ger race, all the more empathetic as they re-
member their own sins of this kind in the for
mer years, and wonder that they could have
taken such needless risk in those night frolics
That is the advice, too, of the medical journals
and men. Was there ever wise physician
VINO would counsel his patients to sit up until
midnight as rule, or even as frequent ex-
ception ? The wisdom in this matter, never
theless, is of the kind that comes by experience,
and the sage warning of the elders oftenest
unheeded.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

THE USE OF R1cHEs.-Whether rich or
poor, it is our duty to be economical in the
use of money. Extravaganza is sure, sooner
or later, to prove the ruin of those guilty OF
it. fit does not bring poverty and want, it
must make the head Of a family a slave-ill
him with anxiety and care-make his life a
burden, and bring him down with sorrow to
the grave, poor, heart-broken, disappointed
man. Wives and children, whose extrava.
gance of dress and parties are wasting thou
sands of dollars annually, know little Of the
sleepless nights and terrible headaches their
follies bring upon those whose lives are devo-
ted to make them happy. And, alas, what
folly to suppose that they can be made happy
by such excesseses! They are but filling
their lives with sorrow and disappointment.
Men worship mammon, and women worship
fashion, and between the double idolatry the
world is filled with sorrow. Let us ask the
rich man how far his wealth has contributed
to his happiness. Has it saved him from
pain, from weariness, from sleepless nights,
from sickness or the fear of death? Has it
made him contented, or reconciled him to the
certainty and solemnity of coming judg-
ment? But God can enrich the soul with
that "pure gold tried in the fire" which will
ward off sorrow and bring substantial and
permanent bliss. Let us pray for the riches
of faith, of humility and a contented mind, as
the certain steps to honor and contented
life.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12
Misfellaaeo1s &eadima.
THE SCIENCE OF ADVERTISING.


Judicious advertising always pays.
If you have good thing, advertise it. If
you haven't, don't.
Large type isn't necessary in advertising.
Blind folks don't read newspapers.
Don't be afraid to invest in printers ink,
lest your sands of life be nearly run out.
Never run down your opponents goods in
public. Let him do his own advertising.
Let your advertisements have something of
the dash in them, without great exaggeration.
You can't eat enough in one week to last
you whole year, and you can't advertise on
that plan either.
It's as true of advertising as of anything
else in the world-if it is worth doing at all,
it is worth doing we'll.
Handbills and circulars are good of their
kind, but they cannot take the place of news
paper advertisements.
Injudicious advertising is like fishing where
there is no fish. You need to let the lines fall
in the right place.
No bell can ring so loudly as good adver-
tisement. People will believe what they see
rather than what they hear.
Small advertisements, and plenty of them,
is good rule. We were all babies once, yet
we made considerable noise.
When you advertise, see that you do it on
the same principle that you buy goods. Get
the most you can for the money.
We don't recommend advertising as the best
way to get wife; but we know that it is the
best way to get good trade.
People who advertise only once in three
months forget that most folks can't remember
anything longer than about seven days.
If you can arouse curiosity by an adver-
tisement, it is a great point gained. The fair
sex don't hold all the curiosity in the world.
A constant dropping will wear rock.
Keep dropping your advertisements on the
public, and they will soon melt under it like
rock salt
Quitting advertising in dull times is like
tearing out dam because the water is low.
Either plan will prevent good times from ever
coming.
"Dull times" it is said, "are the best for
advertisers" Because when money is tight,
and the people are forced to economize, they
always read the advertisements to ascertain
who sells the cheapest, and where they can
trade to the best advantage.
According to the character or extent of
your business, set aside liberal per centage
for advertising. Keep yourself increasingly
before the public; and it matters not what
business of utility you may be engaged in, for
if intelligently and industriously pursued, a
fortune will be the result.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

TONGUES Nothing but the proboscis of an
elephant compares in muscular hexibility to
the tongues. 1t varies in length and size in
reptiles, birds and mammalia, according to
the peculiar organic circumstances of each.
A giraffe's tongue has the functions of fin
ger. 1t is hooked over a high branch, its
Strength being equal to breaking off large,
strong branches of trees, from which the ten
der leaves are then stripped. An ant-bear's
tongue is long and round like whip,lash.
The animal tears open dry clay walls of ant,
hills, thrusts in its tongue, which sweeps around
the apartments, and by its adhesive saliva HN
brings out yard of ants at swoop. Inc
mechanism by which it is protruded so tar l8
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

s9r We are touching our fellow-beings on
all sides. They are effected for good or for
evil by what we are, by what we think and
feel. May flowers in the parlor breathe their
fragrance through the atmosphere. We are
each of US silently saturating the atmosphere
about US with the subtle aroma of our char
acter. In the family circle, besides and be-
yond all the teaching, the daily life of each
parent and child mysteriously modifes the
life of every person of the household. The
same process on a wider scale is going on
through the community. No man liveth to
himself, and no man dieth to himself: 9th
ers are built up and Strengthened by our un,
conscious deeds; and others may be wrenched
out of their places and thrown by our uncon'
cious influence.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

sa| In recent debate a member of the
California Legislature exclaimed: "The hon
orable gentleman from Calaveras county is
undoubtedly person of great abilities-a
man of talent-a natural born genius but
there is one thing defy him to do; and that is,
bite the bottom out Of frying pan acthout smut
tina his nose"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

sa~ It is common to regard milk as little
else than mere drink. But this is an error
Milk is really an article Of solid food, being
coagulated soon after reaching the stomach.
New milk contains: thirteen per cent. of d.
gestible solids, and skinned milk ten per
CENT; that is, the former fully one-half, and
the latter about one-third, of the nutriment
contained in the lean part Of beef or mutton.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

FLIES AS PRoPAGAToRs OF DIsEAsE.-A
curious and perhaps important discovery has
been made recently by M Kletzinsky, Wen
ese professor. Noticing that persons sick
with the smallpox were often visited with
flies, he placed near an open window of the
hospital saucer filled with glycerine. Soon
the flies gathered and were caught like birds
with glue In their endeavors to free them
selves, all the foreign matter which had ad-
hered to them was left in the glycerine, which
was at once submitted to the action Of a mi
croscrope. 1t was found that this substance,
which was chemically pure when offered to
the flies, was full of strange cells very like
those seen on persons attacked by the small
pox, but never on flies. This discovery
proves conclusively that these parasitical in
sects are not filthy, but can be a very danger
Gus means of spreading contagious diseases.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

DRINKING WATER.-Drinking wine is a
habit; so is drinking spirits, ale, cider, coffee
and water. The last is thought necessity /;
but to drink much is a habit. Some people
drink little-not because their constitutions
require less than others; it is their habit.
These people never perspire so much as those
who drink more. The more that is drunk the
more water passes away, or the system would
suffer. AS it is, the strain affects it. The
skin, kidneys, bowels and lungs are all drawn
upon. The result u.s. as may be naturally ex-
pected, exhaustion For this reason, the man
who drinks much water, particularly during
the summer and in the hottest weather, is less
able to endure fatigue. The water is no ben
eft to him-that is, the excess. 1t must pass
away, and this requires an effort of the sys-
tenn, which is the sweating process. Had he
not used the excess of water, he would not
have perspired so it would not have been
there for the system to expel 1t is a habit
to drink water so much a false thirst is created
We should drink only what is needed. The
habit of drinking more will soon be overcome;
and the person will feel much stronger and
more capable of bearing fatigue. In winter
little fluid is needed beyond what our food
furnishes; in summer, some more, but not
much Country Gentleman.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

~ A dying Irishman, asked by his confes,
sor if he was ready to renounce the devil and
ali his works, replied: "Don't ask me that !;
I'm going to strange country, and don't in
tend to make myself enemies"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

both complicated and beautiful. A dogs
tongue, in tapping water, takes form, by
mere act of volition, that cannot be initiated
by any ingenious mechanism. The human
tongue, in the articulation of language, sur
passes in variety of motions, the widest imag-
ination of poet. Even in swallowing food
its office is so extraordinary that physiolo-
gists cannot explain the phenomena Of deglu-
tion without employing several sciences.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

UNLUcKY DAYS FOR MArR1MoNY.-Av VOL
ume entitled the "Book of Days." quotes from
manuscript of the Fifteenth Century to the
effect that there are just thirty-two days in
the year upon which it is inadvisable to 60 into
join-hand-namely, seven in January; three
each in February, March, May and Decem-
ber; two each in April, June, July, August,
September and November; and one in Octo-
ber; so that January is the worst and Octo-
Der the best month for committing matrimo-
ny; the actually unlucky days being these
January l, 2, 4, 5, 7, 10, Is; February 6, Z,
1s; March 1, 6 and 8; April 6, II; May s.,
and 7 June 7, IS; July 5, 19; August
Is, 16; September 6, Z; October 6; Novem-
Der Is, 16; and December 15, 16, II. AS
to which is the best day of the week, why
Monday for wealth;
Tuesday for health;
Wednesday the best day of all;
Thursday for crosses;
Friday for losses;
Saturday no luck at all.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

A BIG D1NNER.-A couple of Aat-boatmen
on the Mississippi river, having made an ex-
traordinary good speculation in fact,
six hundred dollars, very large sum to that
kind of folk, twenty years ago--concluded
that while they were in New Orleans they
would for once in their lives see what it was
to have real frst-class hotel dinner. They
could afford it, and they would just like to
see how it would 60. So they went to the st.
Charles Hotel, and ordered the very best din
ner that that establishment could afford.
When they had eaten to their complete and
entire satisfaction (and the probable astonish-
ment of the waiters) they called for their bill
The waiter in attendance misunderstanding
them, and supposing that they wanted the
bill of fare, laid it before them, with the wine
list uppermost
"Whew Bill !" said Jerry, "here's bill !!
Just look at it! Here, you add up one side
and I'll add up the other, and we'll see what
the old thing comes to-" So Bill added up
the prices of wines on one side of the list and
Jerry added them up on the other, and they
made the sum total 1854.
"Wh-ew, Bill r' said Jerry, "that's nigh all
we've got! What are we goin' to do about
it
1--WE can't pay that" said Bill, "it 'ud
clean us right out. The waiter amt here now'
let's Jump out O. the window and putt!
"No, sir-ee," said Jerry, I'D never DO slch
a mean thing as that. Let's pay the bill and
then 20 down stairs and shoot the landlord.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

TOUCHED WITH OUR INFIRM1T1Es."-A
poor lone woman sat one evening thinking
how sad was her condition. She was old and
almost helpless, with little Of this worlds goods
which she could call her own. "Who cares
for me ?" thought she Suddenly this verse
came to her remembrance "For we have
not high priest which cannot be touched
with the feeling of our infrmities." 1t was
like food of golden sunshine. Her doubts
and fears were gone What need of earthly
friends to cheer and soothe her declining
years? Jesus knew her every care and sor-
row, and he, "the Lord Of Glory" was touch
ed with the feeling of her in6rmities. .
How precious the thought that we can all
have such Friend in every season of trial
and distress. II will not leave you comfort
less," are the Saviour's gracious words: my
peace I give unto you ; not as the world Civ
eth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be
troubled, neither let it be afraid. d."-AmerSean
Messenqer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

sa~ avoid those who take pleasure in ex-
posing others to contempt by jeering, mock
ing or mimicking. Keep off from such as
from the heels ola horse that kicks all near
him.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

PIcTUREs.-A room with pictures in it and
room without, differ by nearly as much as
room with windows and room without
windows. Nothing, we think, is more melan
choly-particularly to a person who has to
pass much time in his room-than blank
walls; for pictures are loopholes of escape to
the soul leading it to other scenes and other
spheres. Pictures engender noble thoughts,
besides the qualification they afford their pos
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

In, INTO AND UNDER.-The vexed ques-
ton of the proper mode of baptism was thus
disposed of lately down South, by "Uncie Cae,
sar, colored preacher: "Now, breden," said
he, II hear great fuss bout desc words in and
into and folks want us to believe dat dey
mean under, and dat when de Scriptur' speaks
of an individual going down into de water, de
Bible mean to say dat he went under de water
Spose some day I goes ober to see Brudder
Solomon, and Brudder Solomon very politely
say, Uncle Cesar come into dehouse,' do any
body s'pose dat dis niger would 60 under de
house?"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

EATING WITHOUT AN APpETIrE.-It is
wrong to eat without an appetite, for it shows
that there is no gastric juice in the stomach,
and that nature does not need food and not
needing it, there being no fluid to receive and
act upon it, it remains there only to putrefy,
the very thought of which should be sufficient
to deter any man from eating without an ap-
petite for the remainder of his life. If a
tonic is taken to whet the appetite, it is mis-
taken course, for its only result is to cause one
to eat more, when already an amount has been
eaten beyond what the gastric juice is able to
prepare. The object to be obtained is larger
supply of gastric juice, not larger supply of
food and whatever fails to accomplish that
essential object, fails to have any efficiency to-
ward the cure of dyspeptic diseases. The
formation of gastric juice is directly proper
toned to the wear and tear of the system,
which is to be the means of supplying, and
this wear and tear can only take place as the
result of exercise. The efficient remedy for
dyspepsia is work-out-door work-beneficial
and successful in direct proportion as it is
agreeable, interesting and proftable.-HaN.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

aay" A bolt of lightning took a great many
liberties with the things at telegraph office
in Miss, some evenings ago. 1t melted the
wires, danced hornpipe on the head of a
sleeping negro, unhinged door, and disap-
peared through window, smashing it in its
progress to "smithereens," and altogether play
ing the very old Harry generally. The ope-
rator says that at the time Of the conclusion
he felt like heaven and earth had kissed each
other, and that for hours after his head felt as
ifa piledriver had collided with an earthquake
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

s@ Tale-bearers and tale-hearers are alike
guilty the one hath the devil in his tongue,
the other in his ear,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

SoMEr1ME.-We have all our possessions
in the future, which we call sometime" Beau
tiful forms and singing birds are there, only
our hands seldom grasp the one, or our ears
the;:other. But, oh, reader, be of good cheer,
for all the good there is golden sometime !"
when the hills and valleys of time are all
passed; when the wear and fever, the disap-
pointment and sorrows of life are over, there
is place and the rest appointed Of God.
Oh, homestead, over whose roof falls no shad-
ows or even clouds, and over whose thresh-
old the voice of sorrow is never heard built
upon the eternal hills, and standing with the
spires and pinnacles of celestial beauty
among the palm trees of the city on high ;
those who love God shall rest under thy
shadows, where there is no more sorrow, nor
pain, nor the sound of weeping somewhere" )"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12
4ntaura,ts department.
ON GRUNTING.

The following story, told of John Smith
and his son, Virgil, is said to be "true BILL -
Smith had a very promising young horse,
now for the first time in training for the track.
The other day, Virgil, bright little chap,
some ten years of age, was speeding the colt
around the track, and was making the run in
handsome style, when the colt suddenly SHE'D,
and threw the boy off. The cause of this was
a young porf:er that had slowed himself in
some brush, close to the track, quiet specta-
tor of the colts performance, until the latter
got almost opposite to him, when, hog-like,
he made violent grunt with the result men,
toned. By the time his father reached the
ground, the boy was on his feet unhurt. Said
the father:
"Virgil, you don't know how to ride colt,
to let little pig like that throw you of: I
don't want the colt spoiled want him to 60
round the track, and I'll show you a pig can't
prevent him."
"I'll bet you," said Virgil, he'll throw you,
too, if pig makes him jump like he did with
me-"
"No he won't, Virgil you can get in the
bush there, and when I ride him round you
can grunt like pig. I'll show you how it is
done," said the elder Smith
Accordingly the colt was caught and
mounted by Smith, the elder, the boy in the
meantime having taken his position in the
bush to play the roll of pig, in which he sue
ceeded to perfection, for when the sire, after
a rattling run, had reached the proper place,
he started like young grizzly, and tearing
out of the bush, caused the panic-stricken colt
to pitch his rider ingloriously in the dirt
Gathering himself up, he said savagely:
"What did you do that for? I told you to
grunt like pg-not like blasted old
hog"