Connecticut western news., 1872-11-01


 The Kansas, having seen flock of three hundred swans flying high, predict beau tiful autumn and u short winter
 The main plank. in platform is plank down, and the fruits of campaigns are candidates.
 Mrs. Burlington has been reading the health officers weekly reports, and thinks ''tota" must be an awful malignant disease since as many die of it as of all the rest put together.
 A bloomington, Ind, jeweler advertises himself by furnishing an item in which it is stated that Q burglar entered his shop with the intent to steal, but retreated, crying fire" terrified by the glare of dia- mond the size of teacup.
 At a trades meeting the following toast was given: The printer-he beats the far mer with his Hoe, the carpenter with his -ule. the mason in setting up columns, he surpasses the lawyer and doctor kn attend ing cases, and beats the parson in the man. sgement of the devil.
 subscriber wrote to the editor of a Newark paper to ask the meaning of the term morse omnibus conanaunis. The edi- tor said that it was French sentence, in tended to explain something about Morse's omnibus being of service 10 the commu- nifty.
 Somebody having applied to an editor for method by which he might cure his daughter of her par,iality to young gentle men is kindly informed that there are sew eral methods of reform. Tke best are to put her in we'll and drop few loads of gravel on her head, or to bind her ankles to an anvil and upset her out of boat.
 Lightning has been accused of doing all most everything this summer. Thursday at Yarmouth, Maine, it struck house and shivered the chimney; then it tore the shingles from the roof and the plaster from tle inside walls. It moved on downward, entered the dining room, put out lamp. stunned Ave people, and finally, after leap ing about the room in fiery balls, went out. These things happened in minister's house and % must be true.
 A remarkable man is Caleb Gushing. now in bis 73d year. His knowledge and learning are very great, his industry and persistence wonderful, his vigor in old age remarkable. Here is his latest perform anee. While in Paris last May he devoted three hours each day to the study of French under an eminent teacher. Now when we reflect that he has spoken and written the French language fuently for over forty years, some idea of his devotion to study may be arrived at. If at such an advanced age he desired to acquire, as he says, great CT felicity of expression, is anybody Jus tlfied in considering it ''toc, late" to under take anything2
 This is how the Louisville Courier Jour nag looks at it: They should quit abusinl Pere Hyacinthe for marrying. The. should remember that th,e Vaccinations of Yankee widow travelling as the agent of patent corset are not to be whistled dow the wind as you would the charms of a ordinary woman travelling merely for fur
 Mir. H. w. Beecher .yives some brief ad vice to those who write letters to busy pee pie:
 "l. Don't write at alT.
 "2. When you can't help it, be sharp short and legible.
 ''3. When you write on your own bus ness pay for the answer
 A. When you want money don't begi with piety or flattery- Beg first and b pious nfterward."