The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-01-12
DEALER.

Grant. Christmas motto: "wissl,
enjoy the present.
Motto for eat shem-"Cem> TO
the scrstcb.''
Cuack-A doctor whose ssisass lays
fn his bill.
A merchaut asks Why he should be
obliged to 60 so often sfter aonsys
that 10 coming to him.
The New York Post thinks tho
unissrn is called the unicorn beoa use
OF his unique horn.
It's . paradox, but = we'll eoalsd
cellar Is cold comfort now.
The "Gr ecian Bend" threatens to
come back again.
Bloggs had his nose pulled, and
was asked by a friend to resent it.
He said he would, next v esk.
Il pride myself, Says N.gss. ION
Playin' the fiddle like Psg.nuinny,
orsny other niuny."
Jesse Root Grant, Mrs. Grants
fsther-in-law no relation to General
Grant, is better. 1t was Root hog
or aie-and he didn't die.
Great powers and natural gifts do
NO bring privileges to their possessors
so much as they bring duties.
Olive Logan is by no means the
frst woman who married it the morn
ing and "lecturcd" ia the evening.
Among the ways that are dark is
Olbaway-ths horrible name propo.
sed for new territory to be erected
out Of Dakotah.
John W. Forney's "Evening with
Shakespeare" veri6es the surmise
hat Shakespeare sometimes kept
ssry bad company.
1t is a notifying reflection for
any man to consider what he has done
With what he might have done.
After December 81, the days be-
gin to lengthen, and though house.
keepers may think it strange, the
less shortening" there is in the
days. the lighter they are.
1t is no longer = subject Of s.r-
castle remark that some Of the Wash
ington bellies persist in enamslline,
when tho President of+he Uaited
States pathetically iuplorss to b
Mhitewashed.
Josh Billings says that oper.
music don't have any more effect
upon him than castor oil has upon .
craven image
A correspondent critieising prima
donna rather deficient in physique,
says, "a chest is ~ essential to |.
singer IS bureau to . freedman. !"
Bergh has ceased to have . high
regard for Barnum'e hyenns since she
became loose character.
A Psnnsylvania paper in speaking
OF songstress says: She beats cats
on high notes. There was no music
or chest tone in her voice; but it was
about six octaves above the screech
of lost Indian.
A doctor who was arrested because
his patient died has been acquitted
on the ground that he did the best he
could, giving all the medicines he
knew the names of.
enquire. mo, We do not think
that Mr.. Greeley's dislike for tobac-
60 bad anything to do with his quar-
rel with Thurlow Weed. If we re-
member Alright, it was because he did
not get his quid pro quo Of the pub
lie printing.
Honest men Of both parties inter-
pref the action of the Grant majority
in the Senate - meaning that ,the
friends Of the administration were
afraid Of an investigation. and the
Interpretation IL correct.
The Louisville Commercial, rad
ioal, admits that the blind seal with
which men support party is one Of
the most discouraging signs Of the
times. And yet it is Grants only
hope Of a reelection.
Grant has taken down the American
Eagle and put up tho robin. Next
year he can put up the swallow.
No one sees the wallet on his own
back, though every one carries two
packs-one before, stuffed with the