The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-09-07
G.. Washington Smith i'm
Trouble

Mr. EDTTOR.-The question which has
been ~agitating this manly bosom for
many days is similar to the text taken
by an old Niger preacher in q discourse
upon Mother Eve" viz: "Wflar's she
from, whar'sshe gwine tO-and who does
she belong too" In place of the word
"she n,,substitute 81" Iamin quandary
certain, and the Lord only knows how |
I'm going to get out of it, unless you will
help a fellow. | am unfortunate man
with nine children and one wife. As | sat
the other night on the top of my empty
flour barrel, smoking my last chawo to-
baccO, which / had, like an economical
man, driedin the sun, | began repeating
over that nigger'stext. "Whar'sIfrOm,n
came slowly from my lips" Whar's you
from?" cried Jemmima (my old wOman)
"are you going crazy, or ain'tthat bottle
empty yet? Didn't you tell me, twenty
five years ago, when You first won my
virgin affections beneath the shade of a
muscadine vine, that you came from
North Carolina, and yOu left your cOun-
try for your country's good? Jemmi-
ma, my deari said |, 4 am Il meek man)
/ never told you a lie, ! did not mean
that expressi6l literally, I meant it po-
NticdUy. The question, my darling, is
=" WkGr's [ from ?" "You're a fool,
Smith," she cried, ]whereupOn I tapped
her on thehead with my "bread-earner,'
and she wilted. I'm a meek man, I am.
"Whar's / frOm?n My mother was a
Democrat(ess), my father was q Wing.
my nurse was Il KnOw-Nothing, and
was sucked by a Black Republican. I
tell you in confidence, Mr.. Editor, Tdop1
kROr l" Thar I come .frOm.n
Secondly, "Whar's I gwine to-" PO-
l~itically speaking, lam very much afraid
I'm "gwinet to grass" the alarum
of war was sounded through the length
and breadth of this country, command
ing the brave men of the land to rally
to the front, and the honest ones to stay
at home, Tstdid. That was one of the
times | wasn't "gwine." 7 behaved no.
bly,, andmapped many n brilliant victory
upon the dirt floor of Our country gro
Gerry, for the benefit of our gallant boys.
Now, since peace has spread its spotted
wings DER our land, and we are busy
gathering the fruits of the past, | have
asked myself a million times "whar's l
gwine." | may he "gwine" to the Leg
you, as fast as | get on a platform" the
tumble. just as soon ass see a "party'
rising upon the political horizon which
promises to sweep all before it, | write
my advertisement, setting forth the add
vantages of getting "Smith" into that
august body, promising to attend to the
"SchOOl Fund" etc, etc, saddle my pO-
ny, rush to town, enquire for the sup
porters Of a party to get advice and
borrow an X to pay for my ADVERTISE
ment, when 10! I am informed the party
has split, one half on its wayto Heaven.
and the other going to- split again.
Such has been my sad case for six months
:, past. | am afraid there is but one an
swer / a give and that is, Tn gWint
CFdsg.
) Thirdly, "Who does I belong tor
Mr.. Editor, that's what I want to know.
+ That's what has been a~gitating "this
manly BOSOM" One year ago I was q
white man, belonging to the left wing Of
g, Democracy, six months ago [ was a Re-
:, fOrmist, a few days ago I was a Liberal
) and ROWI dOntknOw what the mischief
am. Report has reached our settlement
: that there has been a confusion of prin,
= ciples, a diffusion of new ideas, and eff
fusions innumerab1e from the many
pens of our political lights. Weare tOlC
, that the great political gun" has beer
loaded with a shell containing the es
sence of Democracy, Liberalism and Re
. publicanism, the fuse has been put il
the "tOueh- hole" and when the Stirring
is pulled there will be Q report that vii
cause a scatteratiOn in the Radical ranks
4 ton Smi5h, e. stands for. George, thu
t boy that "never told a lie"0 who Away
a can tell, without hesitation, what plat
form I'm standing ON, have got SO con
{ { fused that sometimes Ifeel as if I wa
standing OH my head? Mr.. Editor, i
there the least possible chance of G
$ Washington Smith getting his name GU
as Il candidate for Coroner before tn,
party "splits"? IF so, bringme ont, ant
= tell your party. our party; their party
the party, | will, if elected to that res
pOnsible Office, perform my duty whel
S called upon with answering frmness
Mr.. Editor, "WhO does | belong to?
Until that question is answered, | am
: prisoner i'll my own house. I dare no
IA go to the grocery" for fear somebod.
will ask me "that question" which
am !n2lbleto answer. I am freezing fo
" desire to enlighten Il constituents i
this section. "Who does / belong to?
a To the Democrats, Wings, RefOrmistl
4 Liberals, Republicans, my wife Jemmi
" ma, or the Devil? Tell me for the SAX
u of my poiiticaI "feelins y and my domes
tic happiness. Lam willing, orthe SAX
Of my bleeding country" to belong t
any one of the above mentioned, Cfor
u consideration
= Idon't "'want to be an angel" but
IT do want to find somebody, orsomethin
a to belong to. HuFFal for =, (Mr. Ed
itor fill up the blank by putting in tn
X name of any party that you think wi
hold together for two Weeks.)
Il Direct to 6. WASHINGTON SMITH,
,r Alligatorvill,
. There is soon to be another baby shO'
N in Memphis. .....
: Caution Every genuine box of DR.. NJ
y LANES LIVER PILLS bears the signature
Fleming Brothers, Pittsburgh, Pa, and the
Ie private U. s. Stamp. Take no other the mark
If is full of limitations. *
>, 1t is the popular verdict that people who ha'
been accustomed to the use of Bitters or Cordial
ora nI1;pad ayanf1alfr IN raSnp4 fo ATFT Nj