New national era. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1870-1874, 1872-12-19
Sinca EnGo Dyspepsia.
MARK Twain's sad Experience In England
FOO Many Dinners.

roo Many Dinners.
London Correspondence Cincinnati Commercial
In Turkey the maleGactor is visited witt
the bastinado; in Russia he died to the slow
administration of the knout. In either
country the criminal is more fortunate than
the unlUcky foreigner who has subjected
himself to unstinted hospitality among the
English. The punishment of London lunches
is as much more banelul than the STEAMBOAT
hastinado as it appears at first more soduc-
tive. The symptoms of the patient IN either
case hardly fall short of the horrible. In the
one case the face turns black Immediately
in the other the liver grows black finally.
Poor Mark Twain under the latter ordeal, is
seen by his friends in London to growing
rapidly thinner and paler.
Day after day he drags himself still an hour
later in the afternoon from his bed at the
Langham, where efforts at slecpha ceased
to restore His relaxing energies. But fog
Americans to understand the full severity
OF the sentence to which their countryman
has been condemned in England, it is only
necessary to comprehend q single one Of its
two hundred constituent elements-an Eng
Hsl dinner. The true London dinner con-
sists Of from twelve to twenty courses, the
half OF which are substantial meats, fish.
fowls, and game, braced up and interpolated
with pGHtcS, soups, and entrees. Then fol.
lows vista OF sullen buildings and sodden
sweets, cakes, custards, and mixed ices.
whose consumption points toward death and
the hours Of midnight. Aud still the pom
deroUs feast IS not oyer. There remains piles
OF green nuts and OVcr-nourished fruits, in
sIdlous entrees Of late dessert with foreign
flavor, and lastly, that inevitable, fatal CO.
mestlble, browning the goal Of every British
dinner, and whose very look aud odor are
of hn IL
But the London dinner is not mostly thing
Of eating.
After all has been said, it is an affair to be
drank, rather than masticated, its succeeding
courses appearing TO be introduced mainly
for the object Of clearing the palate for a
fresh flavor Of wine. 4 delicate Hook is
placed beside the plate Of microscopic but
hnely-tlavored English oysters that begin
the meal. Sauterne Or Mosellc succeed to
the Hook, with tho fish that follows the oys-
tiers. Moselle and Sauterne give way to the
substantial sherry and Hungarian in the third
course. The sherry is carried forward with a
red burgundy to accompany the piece dc re-
S'$tG7tce, OF the heavy roast Of English sur
loin that breaks the first shock Of appetite III
the process of dining. Chateau Yquem or
white Iokay attend the fowl that replaces
the roast. Game is introduced, with clarct
ported by glass Of Madeira. The Madei-
ra, IN turn, IS contrasted with Greek wine,
and bottle OF Manzanilla is deity inserted
to brace the Tagging stimuant of the Tene-
dos. N!th the dessert appear the massive
Southern Wines-port and Spansh-While the
heaVy English fayorite, sherry, has not once
disappeared from the cloth. The black
wines are carried through the dessert and
fruits. bordeaux is slipped with the cheese,
alter which the guests drink all around IL
queurs Chatreuse or Marascbno, for better
digestion, and the ladies retiring, after the
English fashion, the cloth is withdrawn
CoSnac and whisky introduced, and the reg
ular drinking Of an English dinner party be-
gins.
TO support this enormous and massive eat
ing ana drinking, one would suppose that the
English would find it convenient if not abso-
lutely necessary to recline, ike the Romans,
at their meals. The inference is as absurd as
the fancy of an Anglo-Saxon in classic DO.
sltlon. An Englishman is never steadIcr
than when he rises from five hours of dining.
lie appears to carry off his tons of food and
gallons OF wine as lightly as if they were q
biscuit and cup Of tea. And as for the
marvellous population that follows the Or
binary English dinner, the arstocratic Lon
doner appears simply as porous member
through which liquids disappear with the
simplicity of the endosmose process in ma
ture-or rather cognac and whisky sink into
his organization as gracefully as if the Brit
ish stomach were the proper receptacle and
destiny Of the alcohols.
The upper-class English arc undoubtedly
the best-dined and best-wined race in the
world; and there appears to bo dispense
ton IN the moist, unsteady atmosphere o.
the English climate that atones for its. dis
agreeableness by allowing an impunitv of ap.
petite to the inhabitants which exists no.
where else. The climate is soaking one
literally. An American arriving in England
llnds that he can add one-thrd to his ration
of the spirituous beverages without apprc.
hension. But the stomach of Crassus wout
not suffice Mark Twain to enjoy even a moiety
OF the substantial goodwill which he is find
ing among his doughty English friends
British hospitality has always had some.
thing deadly about it. Whether is barracl
room, country house or city club, it poure
out its administrations to the flesh with 6
! meaning intent to kill. Twain is alread,
! complaining that his London dinners have
long since ceased to digest, but continue K
stratfy, while his friendly entertainers, ap
pretending that he may recover from thei
| first shock-"No man dies Of dinners" the,
say-and live to reach his friends, arc pre-
pairing for him the coup de Grace of fox hunt