The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-04-12
sCussoRINGs

Fiery lei r easily put out.
A Mantle -shelf.-A girls shout.
ders.
Spasmodic love-a n~eueralgic af.
lection.
The tight little I(s)le-Kerosene-
always on a bust.
The Four S-easons.-Mustard, Salt,
Pepper and Vinegar.
Busy watering-place all the yea,
round-a milkman's.
Boston consumed nearly nine mill.
ions of gallons of milk last year.
Fashionable Defnition-what is
sinf Nothing that is not found out.
Indianapolis is said to have a firm
with a woman as silent partner.
Any fool can make q woman talk,
but it's rather hard to make one lis
ten.
A student of theology describes a
woman's original sphere to be the ap-
pie.
The newspaper fraternity of Peta-
luna have just introduced a new
drink.
Aman in Vermont has, il is said,
recently sold ten bushels of potatoes
for $500
A young mans affections are not al
ways wrong, but they are generally
miss-placed.
To Young Ladies': Keep your eyes
wide open before marriage, but half
shut afterward.
Thelbreaking of a wedding ring is
said to be a sign that its owner will
soon be a widow.
A newspaper advertisement calls
for asplain cook. able to dress a little
boy five years old.
A New Jersey mother interrupted
the repast which a rat was making ut
the expense of her babe.
A st. Louis woman, six foot tall,
married a man of fourifeetfour. He
has a high opinion of her.
There are twelve private galleries
of paintings in New York, computed
to be worth n million dollars.
Tiger Tail. a son of the famous
Siminole Chief of the same name,
peddles pumpkins at Key West.
A lady advsrtises herself as a
teacher for persons of newly acquir-
ed wealth and deficient in education"
A new way to ighta duel-let each
of the combatants swallow a dose of
poison and then toss upforan emetic.
The Japs are reported to have in
dicated their unqualified Appropriation
of the American institution of cock
tails.
The scholars are now wrestling ove
--haligram," 'thasassagram" and
<'onagram," to define a message sent
by cable.
Two Glenn's Falls girls having but
one lover between them, drowned
themselves in a graceful but deter
mined manner.
Irritable Schoolmaster:-"Now,
then, stupid, what's the next word?
what comes after cheese?" Dull boy:
Il mousse SIT.
A Winona wedding degeneratedin-
to a pugilistic entertainment, and the
bridegroom was escorted to Jail to
spend the honeymoon.
~Ahr' unused Smith, as he contem-
plated his extensive collection of New
Years bills, chow true it is that in
the midst of life we are in debt"
4 young lady wants to know wheth-
er a girl may be sure q man loves
her5anutterab1y when he sits in her
presence for an hour without speak
ing.
A New Orleans paper says that a
young widow in that city, who writes
well, sis training herself for an edi-
tor" Who is the editor she is train
ing for?
Mr.. Hyer, a New York school
teacher. spends the recessesi in knock
ing down his pupils. The parents
object, saying that they didn't Hyer
him for that.
While digging with a pick in his
cellar, Mr.. Bringham, of Baltimore,
exhumed a box containing 81 600 in
gold and silver coin. He continues
to take his pick gladly.
A cynical society man says that he
does not object to keeping the COM
mandment which tells him to love
his neighbor as himself, provided
that Gaghbor is a woman and pretty.
A bachelor says "all" he would re-
9uire in a wife would be a good dis
position, beauty, good figure and
connections, conversational talents,
elegant and polished a and
money.
A wife having lost her husband,
was inconsolable for his DEATH
leave me to my grief" she cried,
sobbing, "you know the extreme SEN
sibiLity of my heart-a mere nothing
upsets mel"
Shirley Dare,7 whose admirable
writing is familiar to New York read
ers, is a Mrs. Powers, a lady of cui-
ture and refinement, who has an in
valid husband and a little child to
support by her pen.
an angUSNc EruDUrr