The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1872-07-24

MOLE dHI1A1Eht.-OuG III C6rCAl0
Western fort, some time ago, the major
conceived the idea that artillery might
be used effectively in fighting with the
Indians by dispensing with gun-carriages
and fastening tho cannon upon backs of
commandant, and it was determined to
try the experiment. A howitzer was
selected and strapped upon an ambu-
lance mule, with the muzzle pointed to-
wards the tail. When they had secured
the gun, and loaded it with ball.car.
fridge, they led that calm and Bteadfast
mule ont on the bluff and set up target
in the middle of the river to practice at.
The rear OF the mule was turned toward
the target, and he was backed gently up
the edge of the bluff. The officers stood
around in semi-cirole, while the major
went up and inserted time-fuse in the
touch.hole Of the howitzer. When the
F, fuse was ready, the major Lie it and re-
tired. In minute or two the hitherto
unrufled mule heard the fixing back
there on his neck, and it made him
uneasy. He reached his head around 70
ascertain what was going on, aud, as he
did 90, his body turned and the howitzer
began to sweep around the horizon.
The mule at last became excited, and his
curiosity grew more and more intense,
and in q second OF two he was standing
with his four legs in bunch. making
six revolutions minute, and the howit-
Zer, understand, threatening sudden
death to every man within half mile.
The commandant was observed to climb
suddenly up tree. The lieutenants
were seen sliding over the bluff into the
river, as if they didn't care at all about
the high price of uniforms; the adjutant
made good time toward the fort; the
sergeant began to throw up breastworks
with his bayonet, and the major rolled
over the ground and grosned. In two
or three minutes there was puff of
smoke, dull thud, and the mule-oh!
where was he? A solitary jackass might
have been seen turning successive back.
somersaults over the bluff, only to rest
atanohor, finally, with his howitzer at the
bottom Of the river, while the ball went
off towards the FORT, hit the chimney in
the majors quarters. ratified the adobe
bricks down into the parlor, and fright
ened ths majors wife into commissions.
They do not allude to it now, and no re-
port OF the results of the experiment.
were ever sent to the War Department.
Mr.. John r. Bartlett, in his "Diction-
ary Of Americanisms," shows that the
word Caucus" which has been used to
signify political wheel within wheel
since 1730. is corruption Of the word
''caulkers." A novice in politics could
never comprehend the genealogical pun
gency that lies concealed in this deriya.
ton, nor trace the connection between
the function of making ships water.
tight and the function of diverting party
conventions from popular to personal
and private ends. But let the novice
become initiated, let him 90 to the pri-
mary meetings, get himself elected to
and attend two or three 'spopular" ''na-
tiono" conventions, and he will soon
come to perceive that the corruption of
the term is no more than symbol of the
corruptness of the function, and Is in
fact cynical squint ct the scriptural
aphorism that those who "touch pitch"
must be 'dofiled." At the same time he
will learn che truth of David Crockett's
tremendous simile: "What's the people
to q caucusp Nothing but a dumb ague
to an earthquakel''
A gentleman dining at cheap restau-
rant, one day. was heard to give this
courageous order: "Waiter, Let the
cheese move this way" It was q cheese
like the one that was awarded the prize
for gymnastics at County fair.