The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-12-27
Humors of a Smash Up.

1
the following humorous description
of railroad ''smash-up:" We were
moving along at ordinary express
rate from Portland to B,ston via
certain line, which has since acquired
a rather sanguinary reputation. The
car was not little crowded. dis
tinctly remember having seat next
the stove at the extreme forward en1.
tUrLunately there was no fre-this
being in June-otherwise our nara
tive might never have been written,
or, at least came down a good deal
singed. Well, every traveller of any
considerable experience land that
we all claim to be) knows how it
comes. A truck had broken, it was
said. The nsrrator's head made
very respectable dint in the zinc
sheating past the stove. At the same
time his heels werenearly cut off by
the back of the seat whirling over
and striking down on the backs of
his ankles. All the passengers
seemed to have business at the for
ward end of the car just then. Twas
not alone; on the contrary, one fell
low seemed to have taken it into his
nead to ride me much as Captain
Waterton is said to have ridden the
cayman. He came over on the back
OF the seat, and. had bestrided me in
twinkling, sitting down with no
great gentleness on the "smalI'' of
my back. 1 could also, by a side
long glance, discern another youngs-
ter in between the stove-pipe and the
side of the cara position he seem
ed to dislike exceedingly, judging
from the thrashing about he made,
his boot-heel occasionally coming
down beside my cheek. Though a
little giddy from my attempt at dint-
ing the zinc, l still felt pretty tolera-
bly, certain that l had not been kill
ed; but judged it best to keep quiet,
especially since l could not do much
else. There was a great uproar and
shouting overhead. Some blockhead
was battering at the car door. on the
outside with an axe. Every stroke
sent the glass from the broken win
dow rafting about our ears. Present
ly the young Rarey who had mount
ed me squirmed a little, and then
gave me punch with his knuckles.
"Say you dead2" he'demanded.
T-belieVe-not."
"Then Ipresume you would like to
have me get of"
1 suppose 1 replied to the effect |
that, if it were convenient for him,
it would be very gratifying to me.
Just so. III see what can be
done. WASH" addressing somebody, |
for heavens sake, do quit kicking
me in the ribs"
"Am ], thought" cried the chap
behind the stove pipe. "Beg your
forgiveness; but what's fellow to
do? Here I'm wedged in"
"Can't you use the other footT'
suggested my rider
'No, no! don't use thatF 1 ex-
claimed. "Your boot-heel's right in
my ear"
just then the man with the ak
knocked in the door, which few back,
mashing up a whole caucus of hats,
and spatting one old man fat in the
face. The conductor crowded in
side foremost, and seeing "Wash"
first of anybody, / suppose, pulled
him out from behind the stove.
"Rarey" craWled up off my back, and
we all three got out at the door. The
car had left the rails, turned half
round, and headed down the bank.
was killed outright. One
man had broken leg, and swore he
would have handsome damages for
5he same.
There were several hmpers.
One lady had the whole skirt of
her dress torn of, and was carrying
his in one hand and big dumping
,olored chignon in the other. There
we're also several others carrying
,hignons of various eolors.
Everybody, save the broken-legg-
ID man, pleasantly concurred in the
opinion that it was 'quite little
of those small jolts
o which life is unayoidably heir,and
which are to be borne as goodhu-
noredly as possible.