Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-07-13
Varieties.
A NICE husiness-Polar expeditions.

clean thru ana let IL run out III lhe
bottom
A LAWYER in st. Louis attempted to
try a case the other day when he was
half drunk, but the judge stopped him,
saying, " No lawyer can serve two bars
at the same time
A BORE meeting Douglas ,Jerrold, said,
"Well, what's going on to-day 2" 81
am" exclaimed Jerrold, dartlng past
the inquirer.
Why was rharaoh's daughter like ~
successful stocL-brollcr III a money
panic p Because she got alittle prophet
from the rushes on the banks.
"WIrE," said man, looking for his
boot.iack, . have places where | keep
my things, and you ought to know IT.
YES, | ought to know where you keep
your late hours-but don't.
MRS. KERNEy, of New York, showed
the warmth Of her affection by thrust
ing a red hot poker down her husbands
throat.
A CANADA editor says he has - a keen
rapicr to prick all fools and knaves."
His friends, if they are prudent, will
take it from him. He might commit
suicide.
They tell of sharp Yankee down on
Cape Cod, who, being told by the post
master that his letter weighed II triile
over a half ounce, and therefore required
another stamp, with his pen-kniie cut
off the corners of the letter, and thus
reduced its weight to single-stamp
standard.
a CANE for the saw, sir What
saucer?n Why, the saw, sir, that you
borrowed 81 borrowed no saucer"
''S,,rc you lid, sir; you borrowed
saw, sir" ~ never saw your saucer
" But YOU did there's the saw now,
sir "Oh, you want the saw; why
didn't you say SOP
ONE of the incidents not mentioned
by the San Francisco press on the 22d,
took place at the corner of Montgomery
and Market streets. As the Masonic
Order were filing past, Il little girl called
the attention of her mother to them 10y
cxclaiming, "Oh, mother, see how many
walters there are in the parade? p
"WnAr do you think is the best thing
in oil here p sad Mahlstck to a friend
as they met at the lunch table after
inspecting -; private collection ofpaint-
ings belong to gentleman of New
York. Best thing in oil why the
sardincs,' said the Intercepted, as he
made fresh attack on the edibles.
AT a recent examination of one of the
schools in Washington, the question
was put to u class of small boys: " Why
is the Connecticut river so callcd?'
when u bright little fellow held up his
hand. "Doyou know, James p :" Yes,
ma'am; because it connects Vermont
and New Hampshire, and cuts through
Massachusetts! was the triumphant
reply.
The st. Louis RepuJlica, knows OF
poet who wishes to engage i'll the obitu
airy business because he thinks he can
excel. Judging from his effort we be
lievc he is right. Here is specimen of
what he can do:
Icre lies the body nj Matthew Penn
when did he die? OF what cant tell?
He died on "Wednesday E" u wen;
Then ask no more he wore 1t we'll.
-. Here lies the corpse of Patience Doe
Who bore through life cancer
She always smicd-y"t wished to 60;
1t did no good to lance her.
TnE Bay City JomnM says That
small, rcd-hcadcd boy who so kindly
came in front of our office, and seated
himself on the railing, and tipped him
self over into the basement, creating
momentary fright among the passers-by,
has "ye locals" sincere thanks. While
men, women, and children We're anx,
lously looking to see how badly he was
injured. he came up stairs. leaned over,
and looking down, remarked IN do
1t again for five cents"
pRor Mrxsoy NJ u :. resnoctol,1o
,hysicion IN Nav Iounn ,va. ,;a;n,
ono d,v unnn cro,n,,col,rnd horsH7
Iollowcl hy Jnaro EImarJs ,,l'os, ,D non
utation in the dcnor,mant Of The CON,
mon y;r,,,n, was not ,nod rbn gon,1a
mon wore i,,;r,to .,o,,o;,tonoSS ava
,,,,,.', ,,'al,l] ~ ~ co..
ing good Joke. The Judge quickcned
'he movement OF ms horse, ana, rs he
aPproaele" Dr. NJ repeated part OF
the elSnth verse OF me sixth chapter OF
Revelation, thus: AND looked, and
ochoid a pale morse; and his name that
Sat on nm was Death.
Inc Doctor. turning to the Judge, re-
rcated the remainder OF the sentence,
thus: And He'll followed with him."
w. " - ~, ,
inh ,ANct OF DEArh'rl ne .eieSraph
orieny mentloned the TACT mat justin
ahu Mary McN amara Tell from root IN
Delahcy street, New Ork, ana were