The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-03-24
|ernlng Star and Catholic Messenger.
Jew ORLEANS. SUNDAY, MARCH "a. lsT2
WIT AND WISDOM.


Why does a donkey eat thistle (this
azzle you.) Because he's an ass.
II Which is the best way to make q coat
- st-Make the vest and trousers frat.
I All the difference-The ancients urned
eir dead, the moderns earn their living.
When q man has emo mind of his own -
wife generally gives him piece of hers.
A miser's frat rule in arithmetic is ad.
ition, but his heirs generally begin with
vision.
What is birth to q man, if it shall be q
tain to his dead ancestors to have left such
ofspringf
WHY might carpenters really believe
here is no such thing as stone Because
hey never saw it.
Another poor girl has died in Virginia
ON the use of tobacco, at the age of 100.
be was an orphan.
Why is q man never knocked down
raipst his will Because it is impossible
fall unless inclined.
"Beauty," says French writer, is all
10 virtue of some people, and virtue is all
beauty of Others"
off a civil word or two will render a
AN happy" said French king, che must
a wretch indeed who will not give them
him."
A very slender man asked q friend what
sracter he lad better assume at mas
berade, and was advised to braid his legs
ID appear as whip lash.
"Doctor wants to know if you will please
v this bill nowf" The old gentleman
cks over the items and replies: TELL
octor I'll pay him for bis medicines and
turn his visits"
r,e- in @ta
after of simple arithmetic is perfectly
bounding. We know a man who has
en- engaged his whole life long in "look-
out for number one."
In reply to some observations of Mr..
midas in the House of Commons, Sheri-
observed "The right honorable gen.
imam is indebted to his memory for his
ets, and to his imagination for his facts"
: Ia married lady complained that her hus-
Ind had ill-used her. Her father, hearing
boxed her ears. "Tell him F" said the
Their if he beats my daughterI will beat
wife," Rather pleasant prospect for
lady.
They will joke in New York even about
implanted of is $1,000 for hatcbets, and it
defended on the ground that they were
dered for the purpose of "cutting down
r cessive appropriations"
Boston liquor dealer, on being arrest
by q virtuous constable, offered twenty
liars if the officer wouldn't search the
odpile. The official, stern in his integri-
refused, and had to cord up seven cords
wood, after unpiliDg it. He is sorry he
lint take the twenty dollars.
l hope yon will be able to support me-"
ID q young woman, while walking out
! th her in ended during a somewhat slip
|4rrv TO <1,.v @kf,
& Jar Regent Park. "Wby, yes" replied
somewhat hesitating swain with
3tle assistance from your father" There
Is some confusion, and q profound silence.
At school concert the parson, who
ided himself on the quickness and
everness of his little ones, said, 1" Boys, |
K ben heard your beautiful song o-night, |
bad to work hard to keep my feet still.
Pw what do you think was the matter
E}th them" The answer came with great |
Emptiness, " Chillblains!"
Job Printiug-Job Printing!" ex-
Pimed an old woman, the other day, as
ping page ola country paper-"Poor Job ; |
ey've kept bim printing, week after
elk, ever since I first larnt to read, and if
wasn't the most patientest man that |
Ter was, he never could have stood it 80
Pc, nohow ~
Hardening for Ladies.-Make up your
rs early in the morning; seq buttons on
aur husbands shirts do not rake up any
eVances; protect the young and tender
Pnches of your family plant smile of
Eod temper in your face, and carefully
out all bad feelings, and expect good
p OF happiness.
How to Know Goose.-"Mother, moth
cried young rock, returning hurried
from it's first flight "I'm 80 frightened!
ave seen such a sight" "What sight,
son :" asked the rock. go, white
fatures, screaming and running, and
a,lning their necks, and holding their
pds ever so high! See, mother, there
go" Geese, my SOD, merely geese"
Smiy, replied the parent bird, looking
n the common. "Through life, child,
ferve that when you meet,any one who
1 ,:e! great fuss about himself, and tries
+ lllit his head higher than the rest of the
9se.n Wv -'i
Fn incredible Story About Russian Conjuror