The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-08-24
@iserllanp.
THE LAST STAMP.
By MARX TWAIN.

from Franklin statue, ana with composed
but hungry countenance called for plate of
hash in a very genteel voice. 1t happened
quite fortunately for him that the desired
compound was not quite ready, and one of
the waters told him so, AZ the same time
banding him a paper, and politely asking
him to take a seat. Leonidas did so, with q
grateful bow, at the same time remarking lie
was not in hurry; and he was not, as will
De presently proven. He observed, as he was
complacently reading the last news of the
Alabama claims, that the waiter was backing
his own boots; which done. Leonidas arose
mud from his boots"
Taking the brush IN one hand and the
backing in the other, in a few moments he
then followed up his luck by liberal and
He took up a hat-brush and regenerated the
nap of his sad silk hat.
"Those hash are not quite ready yet, are
they!' he coolly inquired and being an
swered in the negative, he said it was no mat
ter, "as he was not wanted at the City Hall
just yet" and turning around, calmly sur
yeyed the arrangements of the place, and con-
descended the remark that it was mot quite
~dNoA w NAV HASetopoAlSdi VI OCluAOulCO SIlAl
neat very neat indeed"
Upon careful examination of his hands he
observed that the backing had soiled them !;
he proceeded 10 the wash basin, he turned on
the CrOtOn, and with free use OF scented soap,
he secured his hands most thoroughly. Then
he whisked out a once white handkerchief,
quickly washed and wrunS it. and returned
it to his hat to drW The waiter being busy
with other customers. took but little notice
OF his maneuvers, and taking advantage OF
this suspicious fact, Leonidas removed the
dirty paper collar and substituted clean
one; Immediately subsequently he had hold
OF castor.bottle containing sweet oil, and
pouring out about an ounce, lie treated his
distracted head to bath of it. And now
before mirror, he made a rapid and tasteful
use OF a comb and brush. Observing his
movements, one of the walters approached
him with
"Have yon given your order, sir?"
80 yes, thank you. It's coming on soon.'
Wv hat dish was it, sir -
Hash. a plate of nice hash to begin
with"
Leonidas now approached the counter,
where, seeing case of fancy articles, among
them tOoth-brushes, he called for one as If in
tending to purchase, and after long scruti-
ny he selected one, at the same time helping
himself to pinch of snuff, just as the pro
prletor was closing his snuff box. He now
lightly stepped to the wash basin and gave
his teeth such cleaning as few teeth can
Withstand, and finished just as the anxious
waiter hurried GREATNESS toward HIM, ey.
claiming:
Here's your hash, sir. Hash, sir, hash !"
Leonidas laid down the tooth brush and
strobe with dignity to a table where he seat
ed himself wth a satisfactory "Ha" as ifone
OF John Ludin's banquets had been spread
before him.
After one mouthtul, Here, WAITER ex
claimed he, 'iil this water pitcher and bring
me the walnut ketchup!" This mandate be-
ing fulfilled, he proceeded to lay waste the
hash. After finishing that, with which he
devoured half dozen thick slices of bread
and about quarter of pound of butter, lie
crumbled the remaining slices into tumbler
OF milk, the pitcher happening to hold about
Two quarts. Seeing nothing else to eat on the
table except plate of pickles, he swallowed
them all, regardless of curds, probably con-
sidering that he had stomach enough for any,
thing. NJ
by this time Leonldas Lunch appeared to
have got quite comfortable, for, fitting his
chair back against the wall, crossing his legs
and folding his arms, he fell into snooze,
having achieved one of the cheapest dinners
on record. In a little while he began to snore
harmonlously, resembling blasts Of victory.
~ say, jack" said one waiter to another
who is that snoozer out their again the
wall?"
~ don't know. Thought you did, he makes
hlmself so much at home. He called for q
plate OF hash about two hours ago. Said
something about not being in hurry to 90 tc
the City Hall-clerk, perhaps"
II noticed he swallowed all the bread and
milk and pickles, and thinned that butter
down."
"What makes him snore so %
the milk"
AT this moment Leonidas sneezed with sucl
violence that his chair tilted forward and h,
awoke amidst peal OF laughter from tn.
Walters-the customers having long befor,
gone about their business.
"Had good sleep, sir 2" gravely inquired
waiter, as Leonidas arose and strobe nm r.
the counter to settle for his hash.
"Sleep! Me! Yes, believe did doze
little. Ten tents, believer
"For the hash,' said the clerk, laying par
ticuler emphasis on the word
"Ye'e.es," said Leonidas, airly, s.rok,nu
his English whiskers. "One plate, cnly,
believe, of the hash ~
Ten cents plate for hash only," replied
the clerk. winking syly to the walters, VIII,
were making all sorts of grimaces.
Leonldas put his hand IN his pocket, and
alter fumbling while, he drew out from ,
corner dllapidated ten-ccnt note, 80 wretch
ediy withered and defaced-such a mutilatec
evidence OF the evils OF civil war-tlat th,
clerk started, aghast mt the sigbt