Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-09-17
Vacations of a Front Yard
BY BOGGs.

we have recently moved into a house thai
has front yard. We have always lived in
houses whose front yard was the street. Chill
dren will play in the yard whether there is q
street running through it or not. After two OF
three OF them had barely escaped being run
over by the teams that insisted on running
through our front yard, wife said she must rent
house that hadn't any street in it. So we
did. But lordi the children didn't make any
account of it; they are in the street as much
as ever, accumulating their daily supply of mar
row escapes.
Wife said the yard looked bare without
shrubs, and flowers, and vines. I limited that
little grass would help it too. She asked me
II knew where L could get some, and L told
her that l knew little grass widow on the
next street, if she would do. | retreated, fol-
lowed by the rolling pin.
One morning as [ was going away, wife
asked me to bring her few ''annuals'' when
came back. | wondered what she wanted
with ANIMALS as L rode down in the street car,
but am accustomed to blind obedience to
her requests, SO when [ went home at night I
Jayne's Medical Almanac I remember. and
the odd Fellows Annual Offering" and
New Years Address, for 1862, and the
Birth Day Gift, - and numerous annual ad-
dresses before agricultural associations that had
accumulated on my hands.
Good gracious exclaimed Mrs. Boggs [she
never swears like that unless under great ex-
cltementl, what have you brought me ?''
ANIMALS, Mrs. Boggs, said I. 'sYou said
you wanted some ANNALS and here they are"
linen Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing and
cried. why, you old fool you, 1--we have been
married twenty years, but Mrs B. calls me pet
names yeti the ANNALS l mean are flowers.
such as Verbenas, pansies, daises morning glo-
RES mignlonette and the like, to set out in our
'front.' yard" Then she took all the ANNALS I
mad been at so much pains to collect and set
Dish. A6 o'DoA A"o
The next morning she asked me if thought
Il L couId get her some roses for the front yard.
Iolo her knew man who had got lot of
early rose potatoes, but it wasn't the right time
Ior setslng them out. have an idea that the
ground is much better employed in raising a
potato than in raising flower. unless It he
parrel OF Hour. Wife said hadn't bit of
taste. She then gave me memoranda of roses
she wanted was busy all day, but lust as I
was about taking Car for home, thought of the
roses. referred to the memoranda and found
the following:
Get few geraniums, fuchias, heliotrope.
roses, bourbon, running rose, Prairie Queen.
golden tea plant vines, English ivy, Wander
ing jew, seeds, etc"
" 1aiu u, puG IL Was signify lncOm-
prehensibie. She had evidently got things
mixed up. However, went to a florists and
toid him what wanted. Said I: "Give me
lew geranlums and few she's, and
"A few what? Z" asked the flower man. look
ing very puzzled.
"A few She's said I, turning very red
know, for | couldn't tell for the life of me what
my wife wanted of a few she's about the place.
as she never could live in the same house with
another woman. "-'-
As the florist looked more staggered than
bursted into loud laugh.
Why, man." he cried, "it's fuchaas she
wants ants |! and then he reared again.
w ell whatever it is, give me a couple of |
yarGs OF 1t, anyhoW,-front and back yard. |
You see vas mad.
got the things the memoranda saauod -
call for at various places, and went home
Here, Mrs. Boggs, said l, testify, 'sare
ene e,{ things for your front yard"
wv by, what is this ?" she cried, as I thrust
d t ssp gallon jug upon her among other things.
bourbon, my dear, found it on the mem
oranda. Pretty thing to set out in the ward
though. How long do you s'pose tin stav
tnere with the neighbors we've got ?''
bogg s, you are an internal --: that
memorandum was Bourbon Rose But
what is this nasty little book 2" holding up a
llme novel, with highly colored title page.
gorgeous squaw on fiery and
lntamed mustang. "u
=, That? Why, you ordered it, didn't von2
That Is Running Rose or the Prairie Oueeu
one of Beadle's. you know
MY wife carried it at arm s lenptl
t into the stove. Then ST. ,..h and threw
Bourbon and eniptipd -.e took the jug of |
While she wo~ - 1t into the back gutter. |
Dumas e. IS gone [ concealed Alexander
" Wandering jew" which I also had
=, 4rchased, for began to see that had made
a terrible blunder in filling that order. RI have
since ascertained that ''Wandering Jew" is the |
name of vine but how was 1 expected to
know all about it ?l-Fat Contributors Satur-