Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1872-03-21
you NV good constitution and the mercy

YOU nv good constitution and the mercy
l of Heaven" she said.
There was pause Miss Leclerc gazed
| down on the water, out into the darkness,
and seemed to forget her companion
presence. He forgot himself; he forgot
| that thoughts should be silent. He said,
after INTELLECTUALLY said above his
/ breath aShe is FRENCH wonder if she
| can think Of suiciden
I 81 am French" said Diana, quietly;
"and the thought of suicide often tempts
me. But am somewhat of a coward,
also, and am still here"
| After little Diana went on in her
sweet calm voice, still gazing seward
"If you are interested in Analysing the
insanities of misery, ] will tell you some
thing more. ] was not always as quiet as
am now. ] had not learned to bear
things. / could not reconcile the sky
and the sunshine. and whiZzing humming
birds. and flowers, and all the lovely
things one sees in the world with myself.
| thought God was unjust. l concluded
to die. But TO be generous, and not with
out warning to fasten upon Deity sin
| which felt would not be NINE / entered
into an agreement with the infinite. l
| knelt down beside the window one night,
and related to him all the many miseries
with which lie had loaded me, and pointed
out the hopelessness of my future. /
asked him what had ever done to de-
serve all these agonies. The stars were
in the sky, and they shone as white as
saints souls, / remember; and the wind
was as sweet as the night and flowers
could make it, got no answer. l said
then that would live-it seemed to me
that this was generosity for which
Heaven should be grateful-for three
weeks longer; and that if | then suffered
such useless, undeserved tortures would
die After that | obtained some arsenic
and waited. Every day | went and looked
at it. fell into the sweetest dreams over
it, gloated over it, and loved it. / thought
OF the gate it would unlock for me; tried
to picture the shining ones in the mead
ows of lilies to whom it would perhaps
lead me. At last the day came, and |
waited until evening, that Heaven might
have the utmost advantage. 1t was nearly
sunset when / mixed the poison. /
combed my hair simply and carefully,
and dressed myself in the clothes in
which wished to be buried; and then
took the cup and stood before the mirror
looking at myself l imagined how calm
that face would look tomorrow, how still
that heart / smiled, and lifted the cup
and said aloud, II drink to my Creator"
At that instant the bell rang for tea. |
knew that unless | went down some one
would come TO inquire for me, and should
be interrupted; SO / placed the cup be-
hind the swinging mirror on the bureau,
and threw light dress over the clothes
had selected for my grave clothes, and
went down. ate nothing, and returned
as soon as possible. The cup was gone!
"My heart seemed to stop beating and
turn to ice. Suicide had not seemed to
me to be culpable, but the terror of MUIR
der Weakened me. l called the chamber
maid-I was shaking from head to foot
and ! asked her quietly if she had seen a
cup on my bureau. | came into your
room to arrange it for you while you were
out she said, and | saw cup on the
bureau with some water in it. / threw
it out and washed the cup. Was it
anything you wanted, miss p / shud-
dered, but said mo- quietly. But when
she went away fell on the floor swoon-
ing"
Diana was silent few moments.
"You see il must have been insanity"
she said then, without turning toward
him. "There were twenty other ways by
which might have died that night, but l
am still here
It was almost quite dark now. The
mournful, monotonOus sound of the vexed
waters came up out of the gloom, and
only now and then was visible the white
foam of some large wave breaking itself
against the shore. The wind had sunk,
the rain fell in less violent gusts, but
more drearily. Ten minutes might have
passed while nothing was said, and then
Diana turned to 60 in. Mr.. Brande stopped
her, with gentle but firm hand. And
vet there seemed some odd hesitation in
his manner, more felt than expressed.
"Before you go, let me say one word
Diana interrupted him coldly.
81 understand Believe me, there is no
danger. Your solicitude is uncalled for.
l have forgotten myself, however, and
have greatly trespassed upon your pa
tience for both pieces OF thoughtfulness
beg your pardon. y
"YOu are very far from understand
ing" said Mr. Brande, still OBTAINING her /;
"allow me still one moment" He
touched her hand with grave and gentle
kindness, that brought sudden moisture
to her unaccuStOmed eyes, ana maze ner
pause in her own despite.
"You are not happy, Miss Leclerc,"
said Mr.. Brande, and paused minute.
Then with somewhat of an effort, why
not change your mode of life?'
"Sir! Change my mode of life ?" cried
Diana with wonder. "Wby don't you
advise yonder black rocks to sparkle with
gems Why will not these rugged cedars
blossom with roses? What can do ?"
There was little pause. Mr.. Brande's
face flushed with glow that she did not
see He smiled, too, to himself, at her
want of comprehension. To tell the
truth, Mr.. Brande felt rather sure of his
position and could afford to trifle. With
the same covert smile and tender eyes, he
said presently:
"Have you ever written ?"
81 have tried, and have failed" said
Diana, simply. "You are sery kind,
she added impulsively, a moment later,
"and if it interests you will be frank,
At times it seems to me that am wasting
something. At times the strong, impetu-
GUS yearning for something different from
this seems like to rend my very heart. !
seem to feel the moving of some power
within mel know not what Then