Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1872-08-22
Humorous.

WILLIE beng asked what he WOOL,
do when he became man. said /
would have his clothes made bvat a;ld+
The mother OF charming Donh,.r
girl would not let her daughter MARI
conductor, because she didn't want 6os
doors slammed off.
Early cabbages in market. Partso.-
Connecticut wrapper with HavS~9
filing range from fifteen to twent-
five cents head.
MAN who applied to one of our cit;
zens for help for his destitute children
being asked what he needed, said h.
was not particular. IF he couldny
get bread he would take tobacco
ONE of the young men belonging to ,
choir down east had his hair cut nv =
generous barber, lately. On Sunaar
he sang for solo, "Cover my defenss.
less head" and blushed like lobstsr
while doing it.
INDIANS do not sharpen their scaln
ing knives with the Indian file, if tbo
Indian Commissioners 40 say so.
JOSH BuLTSGs says: "Success don't
konsist in never making blunders but
in never making the same one the Sec
ond time"
THE latest case of absence of mind
is that of young lady who, on return.
ing from walk with her lover the 9th.
er evening, raped him on the face and
kissed the door.
LOFTY HoUGH will never lecture apv
more--in public. She has made per.
manent engagement. HIS name is
Gregory.
THE two prettiest girls in the town
of Fall River, Mass, are chronicled as
reeling about the streets, one day last
week, in a very incoherent condi.
ton.
A MAN who assisted to empty several
bottles of wine, afterwards took walk
The pavement was quite icy, and he
exclaimed: every singular, wh-when.
ever water freezes 1t always freezes
with the (hic) slippery side up
A BIG Iniun named Eskevauzin, at
Camp Grant, Arizona, recently mauled
one of his wives to death with his little
club. The man who says Indians are
incapable of civilization, is ga liar and
Il horse thief.
TYING a line, on the end of which is
a fish hook, to large rocket, hitching
the hook to a mans hat and then get
ting him to fire off the rocket, is the
latest form of practical joking in Troy
1t works to the immense astonishment
of the victim, and the intense amuse-
ment of the iokers.
AN unfortunate young man, on his
way to see the darling of his heart, sat
down on his valise in the Springfield
passenger station. He arrived very
late at his destination, having consum-
ed some hours in picking the glass
from his Sunday coat, and asked I'M
mediately On arriving. "Wbat would
take out that COMPOUNDED hair-oil."
SIR TOBY reports the case of good
little boy whose parents encouraged
his habit of early retiring by permitting
him to take cake to bed with him. One
evening he astonished his affectionate
mother by the following prayer:
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If should die before wake,
Give sister Jane my piece Of cake
In n court a man VINO was called on
to appear as a witness could not be
found. On the Judge asking where he
was, an elderly gentleman rose up and
with much emphasis said; "lour
Honor, he's gone" "Gone, gone,
said the Judge, "where is lie gomez.
"That cannot inform you" replied
the communicative gentleman, "but
he's dead This is considered the
most guarded answer on record.
A FEMININE correspondent of the
Washington Capital tells about Bos-
ton lady who recently got herself up
most gOrgeously for dinner at one OF
the great watering-place hotels. She
had the misfortune to sneeze Just as
she sat down, when suddenly the hall
of the waist of her dress ripped out,
and somebody had to put a shaw
around her Her dress was an excel
lent fit upon a we'll proportioned form
and having been made upon a single
thread sewing machine, the sneez9
broke the thread.
In case in which jeffrey and
Cockburn, when barristers, were en-
gagged, a question arose as to the sanity
of one of the parties concerned.
Is the defendant, in your opinion
perfectly sane?" said Jeffrey, lnterro-
eating one of the witnesses, a plain'
stupid-loohing countryman.
The witness gazed IN bewillemenF
at the questiouer, but gave no answer
Jeffrey repeated the inquiry, altering
his words to DO you think the de-
PENDANT capable of managing his OWL
affairs l'
Still in vain.
L ask YOU, SAID Jeffrey, do you