The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-01-16
acknowledgement:
THE HOTEL BOARDER.
Ills Hungry Habits.
From the Cleveland Leader.

There are comparatively few people in
this, or any other city, that devote any
serious thought 10 that numerous and pc.
culiar class Of individuals known nv
"bOardcrs." We do not refer " nil. who
by choice or circumstance come under
this head, but more particularly TO the
young or middle aged unmarried men.
who are compelled To resort to hotels,
private houses, or restaurants, for their
daily subsistence, aud whose habits, and
peculiarltics, often afford an interesting
study TO an Observing mind
The n0madic disposition Of the hotel
bOArdcr is well known, especially TO tho
landlord, who rctircs ut night, happy in
the consciousness Of agOod list OF hearty
feeders" but who often awake 10 lind
some vacant chairs ut the table, the own.
crs having folded their trunks like the
elephant "and as silently stole away"
II is very seldom that the bOardcr assigns
any reason for this change Of diet or il he
does, ii Is generally mn erroneous one,
SUCH rs nearer my place of business, y
living with relatives" "gOing to get
married." or some other remark calcuia
ted to have II soothing effect on his host,
VI course there snow and then II sour
old Cnrmudgcon, with defective digcs.
tive apparatus, who permits his spinal col.
Ulnn to assume Camcl.baCkCd shane nj
some thrilling fault Of the waiter or cook,
and who does not hesitate to COMPLAIN TO
the landlord before he seeks another
hOarding.place.
BE it ever so well regulated house,
Snd with an unGXcCptiOnable cuisine, the
American bOardcr soon tires Of it, and,
AS arule, succeeds in making the rounds
OF all the boarding places in the city, ut
least once year. lie often changes for
the worse, but at each removal thinks he
has bettered himself, aud so informs his
friends for u few days, when there ap.
pears n small cloud upon the culinary
horizon, at first no larger than "a fly in
the butter" but soon 10 increase 10 the
dimensions OF cold hucklcbcrry pud.
ding, or tough beef steak, md he finally
taCks for another port, there To meet u
similar experience.
WHY DOARDERs CHANGE AROUND.
There are various causes that serve 10
keep the young boardcr on the move.
The most general is that relating to his
financial department The price Of board
may be satisfactory, but his salary is lin.
tied, while his list Of expenditures is not
To maintain position in society in keep.
ing with his profession and rank The re-
tails the OdorOus Goldfish and dcXtcrOuslv
deals out the gentle mackerel from his
briny kiV, he Is compelled to curtail n
portion Of his expenses. and generally &C.
composites this by letting his board bill
accumulate for few weeks. The land.
lord, unable to keep hotel without
money, presents his bill the boarder is
astonishcd AT its size there are too many
extras "thc hotel clerk must be trying
To get ahead sufficiently to purchase an
Alaska diamond" High words follow,
and he leaves the house, and his trunk,
which he rcdcems by gradual payments
made nj rare intervals.
Another cause Of dissatisfaction is, be-
cause the bOardcr who has been out all
The night previous on Il spree, cannot get
up the next morning ut eleven o'clock and
find the breakfast table waiting Tor him.
The landlord il usually very aCC0mmo.
dating to his regular guests but if he
don't fly around and get up hot break.
last, the b0ar,lcr is sighted and transfers
his patronage. Others leave because
they find q stranger in their chairs, or
the waiter is too slow; takes too long To
get IN order filled, the coffee and steak is
cold, the iCc.water warm, can't have four
pieces OF pie and.SO on through u vast
catalogue u troubles that are "lnO hnmOr.
Gus 10 mention.
IRREGULARITIES OF EOARnERS.
The eCccntriCitics Of character displayed
at II public dining table are many, and
though not always pleasing, are often
quite instructive 10 u locker on who is
not delicate in his tastes. and can control
his feelings. There is the old bachelor
boHrdcr who has tried every place in
town, knows every waiter by name, and
who never looks at the bill Of fare. lie
knows before he enters the dining room,
Just what viands he wishes, and if they
arc not on the bill of fare, las is often the
case seductive smile 10 the table girl, |
0r Il ten cent scrip iudicously displayed |
50 us 10 make it look like Il fifty cent
stamp, generally renders everything
lovely.
"OId Epicurious,' is another specimen
lie tries several chairs before settling in |
one that suits, inspccts his napkin closely
before putting it over his sccdy looking |
shirt bosom. lie studies the hill Of fare
Tor fifteen minutes, then orders soup
While the waiter is absent he smells Of
the butter, paws over and lnunchcs u few
crackers, sCrutiniZcs and handles each
stalk Of celery, bites into an orange or
apple, CrunChcs few nuts with his teeth,
peers into the milk pitcher for ship.
wrecked flies, uses his fork Tor a tooth
pick, and il his teeth give him trouble,
takes them ont and gives them Il public
inspection. His soup arrives, he tastes Of
II and orders it removed, first pointing
out with one OF his elongated finger nails,
and at the same time reading ont loud to
the waiter q score Of dishes that he lie.
sires He needs two walters 10 keep him
busy eating,-Onc to remove the empty
plates, another to bring full ones. He is
cheerful companion, and the walters
would do anything Tor him; they would
lay out his corpse with pleasure and in
good style.
There is the healthy bOarder, that never
grumbles, but eats the entire bill Of fare
down to the last article, then puts nm
apple and handful Of crackers in his peck.
cts Tor lunch. He is on hand promptly at
meal times, and never llinchcs when he
comes to n tough beGistcak
The ETHEREAL BOardcr' only stops
where female walters are employed lie
manages to get 10 the table Of the best
looking girl, and pour5 iltttcry into her
ears between each COURSE. lie rarely eats
anythingl but little sponge cake, and
drinks iced milk. II lac has been working
hard he satisfies his ravcnons appetite by
pickle or dish Of ice cream. lie is as
robust as pair Of tongs and the landlord
makes fair profit out OF him.
Nnt Tim lnnai m.nrLLm II nnlicn 10 lLn