Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-07-03
Facptin,

again Yes, in dew time.
THERE is one thing that can always
be found-and that's fault.
A NOISY cock need not be immortal,
though his son never set.
The latest thing in the way of specu-
lation is Corner for Irritation
A DETROIT picture dealer SAYS the
hardest work he has to do is to frame
excuses.
WHAT are domestic magazines
Wives who are always blowing up their
husbands.
A Missouri editor considers that the
ears Of his political opponent "would
do for steeples to meeting houses. I"
The Paris papers mention that citi-
zen Courbet had the modesty to go into
the country, so as not to pass the an
niversary of the fall of Vendome in
| Paris.
A CONSTABLE in Ohio lately testified
i'll court as follows: I know nothing of
| her but what / hear the neiehbors say;
and, in my opinion, what woman
says of another is not worthy of be
lief
THE editor OF a country contemporary
told an apprentice to abbreviate the
name of Rev. James Dougherty in a
local notice. The apprentice put it in
'ERev. Jim" for short, and the editor
had to apologize.
Two friends meeting, one remarked,
81 have just met man who told me I
looked exactly like you" FFTell me
who it was, that | may knock him
I l. ~
trouble yourself said he, q did that
myself
WHAT is the difference between the
hurried reading of fast young lady of
| the period and the painstakihg reading
of a hlEe-stoeking The one reads for
pas time, and The other for the future.
ALBUM LINES. Phoebe In
once asked Sir David Brewster to con-
tribute some lines to her album. In
vain did the philosopher protest that
verse e-making was not his forte. The
lady would accept no excuse So Sir
David snatched pen and wrote:
F'Phebe,
Ye be
Hebe.
! D. B."
| A QUADRUPLICATEDP Pun. "A come
dian thus announced his hope of full
house at his approaching 'Fbeneft y:
| Dear public you and of late
Have dealt SO much IN fun, .
I'll crack you now monstrous, great,
Quadruplicated pun! e
| Like a CRATE full of Goals I'll glow
| A great full house to see; a.4E
And if am not grateful too,
j. A great fool [ must be.
A SHORT time back the question was
asked, ''Why do men marry" The
following reply was not less singular
than true: Some young men marry
for dimples, some ears, some noses;
the contest, however, generally lies be-
tween the eyes and the hair. The
mouth, too, is occasionally married, the
chin not SO often.o tf & Gotta
A DRUNKEN Irishman on being told
that his Incorporate habits would soon
make his poor wife q widow, was
quite affected and exclaimed FsOeh, z
/ faith it ud make me the wretchedest
man in the wureld to see Mrs Coons
widderi"
A BROOM with a heavy handle was
sent as a wedding gift to bride, with
the following sentiment:
This trifiing gift accept from me, 3.
It's use weuld commend;
In sunshine the bushy part,
In storm the other end"
SAID friend to merchant who was
; trying to collect some outstanding bills,
You have good deal of money COM
} ing to you, havn't you?" "Yes, re-
) piled the merchant, ''and / can't help
wondering why l have to run so often
after what is coming to me.
AT the opening of breach OF prom
: ise case in Kentucky, the court asked
: the counsel for the plaintiff how long
the trial would probably last. g
r can't say exactly, replied the counsel,
'Ebut will mention as one item that L
| have three hundred and eighty-four
love letters, written by the defendant
to my client, to read. y ln lf .s.
The New Zealand Maoris-a warlike,
: aboriginal tribe-having satisfied them
: selves that the white mans drink has
been the bane and the curse of their
f country, and that the love of it has been
: the cause of their wars and sutferings
| for years, have determined to Danish it
= from their midst.
The young lady inhabitants of the
island of Hinia, in the Mediterranean,
are not allowed to marry till they
bring from the depths of the sea a GER
L tain number of sponges. Notwlth-
6 standing this sponging business, ds0eTs
|. couples are united in indissoiuble bohds
l' every week.
s GEORGE: ''There, Aunt Mary, what
= \ do YOU think of that? l drew the
q q horse, and Ethel drew the Jockey
g Aunt Mary: Him! But what. would
: mamma say to your drawing Jockeys
/ ON q Sunday 2" George: " All, but
o look here We've drawn hlm riding
to church, you know .st'
Advice to WOuld-be Authors.
al ,rvoc r.