Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-07-04
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


WHAT is it that makes every person
sick but those who swallow it s-Flattery
A NEW JERSEY man writes the name of
his native town thus: "Sx." Only one
mail clerk understood it.
THE Duluth Herald apologies for hav-
ing advised married man to get married.
1t thought he was widower.
A BOY lately died in London in convul-
sions from having red hot rivet dropped
down his back by a playmate.
A YOUNG lady, who was recently out
riding, became alarmed when the horse
began to kick, and naively requested her
beau to get out and hold the animals
legs.
A HARTFORD three-year-old consoled
his mother, watching by the deathbed of
his little sister, by remarking, " Mamma,
don't cry If Nellie wants to die, let her
die"
NERVOUS OLD LADY Ito deck hand on
steamboat. "Mr. Steamboat man, is there
any fear of danger ~ Deck Hand (care-
lessly). ''Plenty of fear, ma'am, but not
bit of danger"
THERE is said to be remarkable in
crease in the number of sufferers from
paralysis in San Francisco, which is attrib-
uted to mental anxiety, caused by specu-
lation or the desire to obtain wealth
rapidly.
OUR poor young man remarks that the
only advice he gets from capitalists is to
"live within his income" whereas the
difficulty he experiences is to live without
an income.
A PROFESSIONAL beggar, arrested at
Newburyport, Mass, had on his person
letter to his wife, from which it appeared
that he had cleared, above all expenses,
$3.50 by one days "work" D." In that
town of $4,000 people.
A MAN IN Newark, n. J., who lost both
of his hands by a railroad accident, is
enabled by artificial hands to maintain his
position as a railroad employe. He can
lift articles, write, and do many other sur
prising things.
Boston is beginning to import Japanese
paper clothing. The paper from which
the articles are made is wholly water
proof, is thin and light, an overcoat
weighing only two pounds. The goods
are capable of being washed several
times, and, it is said, will last number
of months.
WASTE Nor
If we never wasted our sunshine,
Or hung it in borrowed shrouds,
We might save enough most any day,
To gild to-morrow's clouds.
And even if rain came pouring,
Now and then chilling stream,
Ii garnered well, we'd have in store
For every drip, beam.
THE grandma of little four year old
had been telling her one day not to say
that people lied, but rather that they were
mistaken. Her grandma, to amuse her,
told her a bear story, which was tough
one to believe. After she had finished,
the little girl looked up into her face, and
exclaimed, Grandma, that is the biggest
mistaken l ever heard"
THE Danbury Neacs says: "The base
ball season does not open very encoura-
| gingly in Danbury. We think if place of
burial was appropriated for the members
of the clubs, together with few cheap
but tasty headstones, there would be a
kindlier interest shown in the game by
our citizens. But as it is, there is no gen.
uine inducement TO join the clubs"
THE building committee of church
called upon a wealthy member of the con-
gregation, soliciting subscription toward
subscribed disappointed them, and they
told him so, at the same time intimating
that Mr.. j had given double the
amount. $50 he should" said the willy
gentleman, che goes to church twice as
much as do"
"ToMsIY, my son, what are you going
to do with that club?" "Send it to the
editor, of course" "But what are you
going to send it to the editor fors'
"'Cause he says if anybody will send
him a club, he will send him a copy of
his paper" "But, Tommy, dear, what do
you suppose he wants with a clubS''
"Well, l don't know" replied the hopeful
urchin, 'unless it is to knock down sub.
scribers as don't pay for their paper"
CONNECTICUT proposes to repeal the
bounty on foxes for the reason that the
majority are believed to be killed in New
York and in Massachusetts and then
brought across the line. 1t is also stated
that only young foxes are brought in fol
the bounty, the old ones being left un
harmed SO as to keep up the supply, and
it is reported that a number of persons
make it business to raise foxes for the
sake of the bounty. Evidently foxy
business.
THERE is species of honey bees in
South Africa without stings. They usual
ly take possession of hollow trees, in
which they construct rows of wax cups
nearly the size of half an eggshell. Wher
full of honey they are capped over to ex
clude air, which preserves the contents in
fluid state. When one pot is finished
they proceed with another, and thus store
up an immense amount of delicious food
of which they are invariably robbed with
out the power of offering resistance.
IT was my custom in my youth (says {
celebrated Persian writer) to rise from my
sleep to watch, pray, and read the Koran
: One night as l was thus engaged, my ia
ther, man of practical virtue, awoke
Behold" said L to him, thy othel
4 Il. l., ,lo,-,
while alone wake to praise God" "SoI
of my SOUL" said he, "it were better fo
thee to be engaged in irreligious sleep
than to awake to find fault with thy breth
ren."
CoLERIDGE once having occasion to e
from home, his wife packed his portman
teau, and gave him strict orders to put OF
a clean shirt every day. On his return
imagine her dismay in finding his port
manteau shirtless. But inquiry devel
oped the fact that her absent minded, un
worldly husband had obeyed her order tC
the letter, having put on a clean shir
every morning, but had forgotten to TAXI
the solled one off. And there the sever
were on his back.
A FAMILY living in the country hired Q
new coachman, and his name was Will
liam. As both the gentleman of the
mousse anu his elutsI Sun were naHCN
William, it was thought advisable, tC
avoid confusion, to c6ll the coachman by
his last name. William had no objection
to this plan, and was asked to state hi:
surname "Deary," said he with dia
bolical grin. The family shuddered
!. Think of it. How would this sort OF
thing sound: "Deary, come here a min
, ute" ''Cut me some flowers for bo
quet, Deary" "How long l have beer
waiting for you, Deary." The family re
solved to stand by William.
JUST below the summit of the Greer
Mountains, three-fourths of mile south
of the Hancock turnpike, is situated {
pond of water that deserves to be classeC
among the curiosities of Vermont. Its
length Is some one hundred rods, while
its width is about fifty rods. 1t is of un
known depth, but has been sounded one
hundred feet, without bottom; as far a!