The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-10-25
COL. DEM. VOL. XXXVI.. NO. 36.

DEM. --s NUlJs AAANl NO. oUs
without a good deal Of anxiety at the
result Of my answer:
"I certainly am a smoker, though
not to great extent I hope you have
no objection to the habit"
"But have most decided objection
to the filthy habit, and am sorry, Mr..
Allen that / was not aware of this fact
before you started on your Journey
down here, for you would have been
spared the annoyance of q fruitless er-
rand. I so much disapprove Of smoking
that would not for moment entertain
proposal for my daughters hand from
any one who INDUCED in Ii. presume
that there is nothing more to be said,
and that our interview may be conside-
red at an end. am sorry you should
have had all this unnecessary trouble.
Good"
zone moment, Mr.. Harris" ex-
claimed. "Surely this need not be the
cause of any difficulty. Rather than be
deprived Of Amy, 1 will discontinue
smoking it will require a great deal Of
self-denial on my part to break off the
habit, admit but am ready to make
any sacrifice rather than lose Amy"
"Oh that certainly alters the case"
he replied. "I was hardly prepared
for this. II you will give me your
word of honor that so long as you are
engaged to my daughter, and after you
have married her, If such marriage
should take place, you will abstain
from smoking without my permission,
1 will revoke my refusal of consent TO
your engagement with Amy"
L bound myself by word Of honor
that it should be so, and my engage
ment dated from that moment. He
had certainly paid me off for fumigat-
ing him in the railway carriage with a
vengeance. L hoped from his saying
that was not to smoke without his
consent that he would occasionally give
me permission to do 80; but not
Whit, though did hint to him on sew.
eral subsequent occasions that believ-
ed my digestive organs were becom.
ing impaired by the want of the
weed.
Amy and 1 were married.
AS soon as our honeymoon was over,
we set our wits TO work to hit upon a
plan for bringing old Harris to reason,
and after a long consultation, decided
upon a course which we thought would
have the desired effect. Amy there
fore wrote to Mr.. Harris, to ask him to
spend few weeks with us(he Is wild
over, by the by,) to which request he
graciously acceded. The day before his
arrival bought "A fumigator for the
purpose of fumigating plants with
tobacco with view to destroying little
insects which frequently congregate
upon them. I also purchased several
pounds of the strongest tobacco 1 could
lay my hands upon. then set the boy
to work at the machine in every room
of the house, so that the smoke became
so dense that it was actually difficult
for us to see one another. The con
sequence was that on the day of Mr..
Harris arrival there was a most sick.
ening stencil of stale tobacco smoke
pervading the house. 1 had told the
boy to give the bed room intended for
Mr.. Harris double dose, which he did.
AS soon as the old gentleman set foot
in the hall he began to sniff vigorously;
then he turned upon me most wither-
ing look. He did not say another thing
to me, how ever, and shortly afterwards
left him alone with Amy. Directly
1 had quilted the room, she told me
that he had accused me of having bro.
ken my word in regard to the smoking.
She positively stated that had
never had pipe or cigar in my
mouth since the day of my marriage,
and affected not to perceive the unpleas
ant odor pervading the house.
had given the boy his instructions
so when ] rang the bell after dinner hi
entered the room with the fumigatol
ready for action.
"What ON earth is that thing p
asked my father-in.law.
''A fumigator," replied. 81 mus
apologize to you, my dear sir, for hav
ing to make use of this machine bu
the fact is that finding my digestion
much weakened from not smoking af
ter dinner, have been compelled II
adopt this substitute, for prefer 1t t
smoking, and find It's effects NOR
eflicacious. hope it will not cause yo
annoyance" Without regarding hi
look Of establishment, 1 then with tn
utmost gravity, set light to the tobaC
co, ard proceeded to turn the handle G
the observation-disclosures Of smoke il
stantly began to issue from the spout.
"That, then, is the cause Of the hol
7. rible stencil which fills the house."
= said "the place smells worse than an
: tap.room in the kingdom"
o. "Does it indeed, SIR" L asked wit
O the most innocent expression l coul
q assume. ~ suppose living so continl
a ally in 1t we are unable to percei'
it,"
h He watched the smoke ascending
,r the ceiling for few moments, and thu
3. began to cough violently. Seeing Il
< effect upon him, was about to offer
discontinue the operation, when he e
of claimed
n. "For heavens sake, Tom, throw tn
v. Internal machine out OF the windo
n. and II you must have tobacco smoi
er take cigar"
ly / did. And so my story ends as
w began-in smoke.
y Pat and the Pig.
)ffI