Weekly Trinity journal., 1872-02-17
THE SKUNKVILLE WEEKLY
CLARION.
BY ARTHUR BROWN,

Mr.. Smith was young man, tall an(
lank, with light blue eyes, and long
haxen hair, which here and there showed
an ink-stain, the result of habit he hat
Of using his locks as pen-wiper. TIL,
office of the Clarion was neither large no
gorgeous. One window, in frightfu
condition Of neglect, cast dim light upol
the rows Of shelves, filled with back mum
bers and official reports in all degrees O
dilapidation pigeon-holes innumerable
stuffed with bills, paid and unpaid, re
jected communications, etc., stared yol
in the face ; piles of paper, printed ant
imprinted, numbered the corners th
floor proved the adhesiveness of Skunk
vile mud and the smoking habits of tn,
editor, who appeared to have contemp
for all other journals save the Clarion
if one might judge by the cut and mutil
ated fragments of contemporary publica
tions which half concealed the mud an(
cigar-stumps.
Mr.. Smiths state of mind was not pleas
ant. 1t had been dull week with the
editorial staff of the Clarion, and now,
on the last day before publication, five
columns of original matter were required
Of the staff, while the only action resem
bling brain-work of which it seemed ca
pable was scratching its head, and thi
Mr.. Smith did industriously. During tn,
entire week, not "a horse, with wagor
attached" had been generous enough tc
tear at a two-forty pace down our mar
thoroughfare." Not San hom6re from
the mines" had been sufficiently consid
crate to "visit our 1ourishing town and
see the elephant" thus depriving "oul
efficient constable, Bill JONES'" of the
only excitement of his life. Not trav.
cling Histrionic Combination " had Wis.
tied Skunkville, and "filled Corinthian
Hall to overfowing with an appreciative
and critical audience" Mr.. Smith was
on the verge Of despair. How, in the
name Of all that was ingenious, were those
FIVE internal columns to be filed The
crushing reply to :" the base and malig-
nant slanders of our insignificant traducer
of that petty burgh over the way " had
been written and twice lengthened. The
usual article on the proposed railroad,
and the denunciation of "those antdiu-
vians opposed to this enlightened enter
prise" had been in type for two days al
least. He dared hand in no more clip
pings, for that very day Thompson, the
foreman and proprietor of the clarion,
had insinuated that he, Smith, was little
better than pair of scissors. The prize
vegetables had received extended notice,
and subscribers the regular weekly blow
ing up. All morning he had wandered
restlessly about the streets and public
resorts Of Skunkville, in unsuccessful
search of items, patronizing small farmers
and mediocre citizens, and being patron
lied by large farmers and eminent citi-
zens. He had treated at Tom Pixies and
been treated /; he had furtively SHE'D
small pebbles at General Bigpurses high
spirited sorrels, hoping to have frst-class
item. He had clandestinely encouraged
two small boys to combat, but was COM
PEELED to interfere, just as things looked
promising, by the sight of Parson Stubbs
approaching. He had even gone so far
as to incite drunken Indian to felonious-
ly take possession Of hat lying at the
feet Of sleeping guest on the veranda of
Pixies Transcontinental Hotel, and was
just on the point of giving the shout OF
an honest citizen, when the savage fall
tered and refused to commit the deed.
This last attempt was altogether discour-
aging, and Mr.. Smith returned to the
Office in state of mind bordering on in
sanity. At two in the afternoon, he sat
in his sanctum, clutching pen in one
hand and his hair in the other. LA a
thought. This was indeed an item:
"We are indebted to our worthy and
enterprising fellow citizen, James Boggs,
Esq, for basket Of the choicest fruit,
raised by him in that magnificent orchard
of his, which has been attracting the
favorable notice of the people and press
throughout the State. The fruit was in
deed a credit to any part Of our coast,
which is saying something, as our orchards
are at this time the theme of thought and
study over the entire country. The rap
idity with which we threw that fruit un-
der our vest was caution. The staff of
the Clarion appreciate these little atten-
tentions from their readers, and feel en-
couraged to renewed efforts to furnish
instruction and entertainment 10 the pub
lie. Do so some more, Jim 70
This suggested happy train Of ideas,
and Mr.. Smith was in the midst OF an
article on The Orchards of Skunk
County," when he was interrupted by
the knocking at the door. At his impa-
tient invitation, the door hesitatingly
opened and admitted lean, cadaverous-
looking youth, with infamed eyes and
trembling hands, who fumbed nervously
in the deep pocket Of his longtailed coat,
as he made an awkward bow to the editor.
Seeing his embarrassment, Of course put
Mr.. Smith severely at ease.
Well, young man ?" he said, staring
at his visitor, and holding his pen half
raised from the paper.
"a pome," gasped the youth, deposit
ing few sheets of manuscript on the
table. Mr.. Smith stuck his pen behind
his ear and picked up the poem. The
youth stood with burning cheeks and
IL. al