davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
THE DUTIES AND sQUALIFICA-
T1CN5 OF AN EDITOR.
BY WILL $. eAnLrox.


IAN old farmer brings in his son, introduces
him to the editor, and expresses a desire that
the lad should be made an editor Of Says the
farmer ]
"fTis body's too small for farmer, bis iude.
IDept IS rather too slim, -.
But thought we perhaps might bs maxim IN
editor outen o. him."
The editor replies:
The cditor sat in his saoctun, and locked the
oil man 10 the eye,
Then glanced at the griBning young hopeful
and nournful y made reply:
"Is your son e smsll unbound edition Of Moses
AMI Solomon both?
Can he eornpass his spirjt with neekness and
strangie natural oath
Can be leave all bis wrongs to the future, and
carry his beart in his check?
Can he do an hours' work in u minute, and live
On n sixpsnee week
Can be couTteously talk to an equal, and brow
beat an impndeDt duheef
Can be keep things in apple pie order, and do
bali dozen at once?
Can be press all the springs Of knouledge with
u quick ard reliable tDuch,
Aud be cure tbst be knows how much to know,
and knows how to not know too much?
Do-i be know how to spur up his virtue, and
put check-rsin on bis prids7
Can be carry geptleman's manners within
RI noccros' b de?
Can be know all, and do all, and be all, With
cheerfulness, courage and vim?
II 20, we can perhaps be maxim an editor out
en- o him."
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
A w0Max'S OPINION OF
HUSBANDS.

As G general rule, we know that
men have. By nature, q superiority
in strength, which enables them to
go through labors and dangers, men,
tai and bodily, from which females
should be exempt; and. that by edu-
cation, they are qualified for exercis-
ing the several trades or professions
by which they are to maintain their
families. On the other hand, women
are besides all the graces
and amiabilities of the sex-with q
great superiority of quickness, tact,
ID delicate discernment In all the
everyday affairs OF life nall these,
therefore, the bus ',and ought to be
completely guided by his wife. And
this shows the wisdom of our ances-
tors, in making the husband "endow
with ali his worldly goods" the wife
be has chosen. The wife is depend
ent on the husband, and clings to
him for support. just as the hop
plant climb on its pole, and sweet
pea on the sticks to support it, and
as the vine in Italy was, according to
the language. of the poets, married
to the elm"
But if you could conceive o hop
pole. or pea-stick. or an elm. i'm
a9ining that those plants were put
there en- purpose for its adornment,
you would tell them that this was
quite inistake-that the climbers
are cultivated for the flowers or fruit
and that the stakes are placed there
merely for their sake, and must not
claim any superior dignity or worth
over the plants they support. Now,
just such is the Office of the husband !;
and this state of things is what peo-
pie approach to more in proportion
as they advance in civilization.
Among ne savages the wife Is made
to yield to brute force, and is a mere
drudge; in barbarian countries wom-
en- are shut up: in more civilized they
are left free, and have more control;
and in dear America. the glory of all
nations. they have higher place,
proverbially, than anywhere else.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
QUEEN ELIZABETH.


Margaret Lambrun, who had been
in the service of Queen Mary, hav-
ing lost her husband almost at the
same time that her mistress was de-.
capitated by Elizabeth's order, gave
herself up to 80 lively grief that
she resolved to avenge on Queen
Elizabeth her double loss. She dis
guised herself as a man, took two
pistols, resolving to conceal herself
in the crowd till the queen was going
to the chapel, and then discharge
one at the Queen, and with the other
slay herself to avoid punishment
Bnt it happened as the Queen was
promenading in the gardens, this
woman, Wishing to pierce the crowd
with too much precipitation, let one
OF the pistols fall. The guards per-
ceising it seized her on the spot
The Queen wished to examine her in
person. She ordered her to be
brought in, and interrogated her,
taking her for man.
Madam" boldly replied the wo-
man, though ain thus attired, I
am woman; my name is Margaret
Lambrun. was for several years in
the service Of Queen Mary whom
you have uniustly put to death. l
resolved at the peril Of my life to
ayenge her death by yours"
Elizabeth listened to her calmly,
and replied:
"You thought it your duty to at
tempt my life; what is now my duty
to you?"
Is it in the capacity of Queen, or
that Of Judge, that your Majesty
asks my opinion p answered the wo-
man.
AS Queen l ask it?' responded
Elizabeth.
Then your Majesty ought to par
don me.
But what assurance will you give
me, said the Queen, "tbat you will
not, second time, make similar
attempt?'
Madam" replied the woman, ga
pardon granted with SO much precau-
ton IS no pardon-the Queen be-
comes a Judge"
Elizabeth, turning to some persons
OF her counsel, exclaimed to them
"For thirty years have / been
queen, but do not recollect eve,
having found any one that has taugh;
me such lesson"
Then she gave her free pardon
without condition.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

NOTHING LIKE GRAMMAR Nothing
like GRAMMAR better go without Q
COW than go without that. There
are numberless professors who go
tramp. tramp, my boys!' around
the country, peddling weak article,
by which in twenty days they guar
antee to set man thoroughly up
in the English language An in
stance in point comes from Greenville,
Alabama, where professor had la
bored with the youth of that people.
and taught them to dote on gram
mar according to Morris's system
During one of the lectures the SEN
tence, MARY milks the cow" was
given out to be parsed. Each word
had been parsed save one, which fell
to Bob Il, sixteen -year-old,
near the foot of the class, who stands
thus:
"Cow is noun. feminine, singular
number, third person, and stands for
Mary"
.Stands for Mary said the excit-
ed professor, show do you make that
out2.
Because" answered the noble
pupil, IF the COW didn't stand for
Mary, how could Mary milk her?'
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

young driver over to the police
William was taken to the Twentieth
street police station early on Sunday
morning, where she was received by
Capt. killalea, who, after listening to
portions OF her remarkable story, sent
her below, and saw her provided with
comfortable blankets.
Yesterday morning the Captain laid
the case before Inspector Walling.-
Clothing more suitable to her sex than
that which she wore at the time of
her arrest is preparing, and she will be
Immediately forwarded to her home in
the Prairie State.
A VISIT TO THE YOUNG ADVENTURE.
A Sun reporter, who visited the
police station on Sunday night, was
invited by Captain Killalea to call up
on the remarkable girl. Passing down
stairs to the cell corridor, the Captain
ratified at q door, threw back the lock,
and called:
civilian Z"
"Holloa," responded voice which
was slightly sleepy, but pleasant
withal; and William threw off the
blankets. arose from her bed, stepped
ont into the corridor, and seated her
self in chair provided by the Cap.
tain. William, or Irene rather, is a
pretty girl, of about the medium
hight, aud well formed. Her hair is
cropped, and curls loosely about her
head. Her dark eyes. are pleasant
woman's eyes. She has even, white
teeth, and her cheeks are brown with
constant exposure, as also her small
hands. She wore dark brown panta-
looms, a colored flannel overshirt and
black and red checked nndershirt
showed its edge above the outer gar
mcnt. She impresses one on sight as
a modest girl, aud this impression is
confirmed by her pleasant conversa-
ton She told the reporter not to
write TO her folks, for she did nol
want to go back.
| SHE couLDN T HAVE EsTIGERASYHow.
Her contact with the world has not
given her very favorable views oil
mankind, and she is in no haste TO be
married. She said that she didn',
want her folks to know, "bccause, you
know, in the country things spread
and are talked about so much, and
everybody within miles of Peori:
| would talk about it," After some
further conversation Irene went inside
her cell, threw herself on her bed
called back 10 the Captain and the re
porter u pleasant good night, ant
went TO sleep.
Yesterday Justice Shandley com
mit;ed the girl to the care of th'
Commissioners of Public Charitie
and Correction.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
PITILEss NIGHT.
BY BELLE ". co0EE.

0ut 10 the pitilcss night
Loud winds are hurrying by;
Not a star-giesm piereei thro' tts leaden folds
or a stormy. moonle.s sky;
Broad sheets of rain
Swept DER the plain,
And cut VI their midst a cry.
Dat IN the pit.Iess night
tender girlish sorm--
Not n shawl 10 pillow her aching hse3,
Or shelter her fen the storm!
He robe sbs takes
The while she makes
Her new-bOrs inlant warn.
0nt IN the p:tilcss night
They found her all alone
Not shelier for her head nor giean Of hope,
THo1gh her heart makes enIless moan;
And her suferin, face,
In that lonely place,
Would soften heart Vi stone.
Gu, in the pitil.ss night
Whiic be who wrought hrr shame
Mas walk in the glorious lightof day
With fair aud honored name,
And never hand
In all the land
Be- raised 10 blot biz fame.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
Prom the New York Sun
ISSUES FOR THE CAMPAIGN

l. One term of Office for the Pres
ident. and no more; the Constitution
to be amended to secure this reform.
IL. Both Grant-ism and Tweed
ism TO be abolished in national af-
fairs by laws for the summary pun
ishment OF taking and bribe.
taking as well as of public robb ry.
Ill. Universal amnesty and resto-
ration of political rights to all per-
sons concerned in the late rebellion.
". Reform in the Civil Service.
so that appointment to Office will no
longer depend on party patronage
and cannot be used as a means oil
corrupting the politics of the coun.
try and perpetuating unworthy men
In high places.
V. Reform of the revenue; reduc
ton in the number of revenue off
GERS and the expenses of collecting
duties and taxes; fixed salaries fol
all revenue officers; the abolition ot
import duties on all the necessarie.
of life, and the re iuction of Other
duties to a consistent, rational, anc
moderate system; the abolition O.
unconstitutional and superhuous in
ternal taxes, leaving only stamps, to
bacco, and distilled spirits as The
subjects of such taxation
vi. Leg alton to prevent th.
lev. of black-mail upon clerks and 9th
er public officers for party politica
purposes, and for the summary pun
ishment alike OF those who demanc
and those who pay such contribu
tions
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

A SHARP REroRr "A sharp barris-
ter, named Missing. was defending
prisoner charged with stealing dom
key. The prosecutor had left the
animal tied up to the gate and when
he returned it was gone. Missing was
very severe in his examination Of the
witness:
do you mean to say, witness. the
donkey vas stolen from that gate ??
II mean to say. sir, giving the
Judge, and then the jury, 3 sly ioob,
the ass vas Missing.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

GRANT is not so bad after all Gov
ernor Scott has stolen s3J,p 20 900 from
the people of South Carolina, aad the
President comes to the rescue by
placing large proportion of the State
under martial law. What Scott left,
The soldiers will eat up and destroy.
Noble Governor; generous President;
happy people; glorious country.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
A Plea FOR THE GRANT
FAMILY.

When the damsel who proposed
herself as wet nurse to the yonng
sprout that subsequently got to be
known to the world as 'MIdshipman
Easy" says the New Haven Register,
the accident by which she became
qualified for the duties of that posi-
ton was urged rs a reason for reject
ing her application. Her excuse was
readily accepted by the lady having
the matter in charge: please. ma am,
it was such little onem There was
no denial of the charge. She admit
ted the irregularity, but the conse-
quences were SO inconsiderable as to
exempt her from the penalty.
Grants office-holders, who have
been plundering the treasury, virtu-
ally without hinderance or molesta-
ton, excuse themselves on the same
plea, when accidentally detected and
exposed. They are all the time steal
ing, but as no single peculation or de-
falcation equals in magnitude the sums
of which New York is alleged to have
plundered, the cases are not worth
looking into. We intend to make up
a list Of these "little ones,n and it will
then be seen that the amount of mon.
ey of which Grants friends have
robbed the people will sum up some,
thing handsome after all.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

BRISK ADvERI1sEMENT.-- AN English
journal contains the following brisk
advertisement: "Notice-If my hus-
band, who left Bristol four years ago,
does not return within three months
to his wife from this date. she in
tends to get N arriee..
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

BEwILDEnEp. A clergyman met a
bewildered young man outin Chicago
avenue while the flames were licking
up the north side, who asked in be-
wilderment: Where am II" On be-
ing informed, he said: s'Well, I've
been married three weeks; / don t.
know where my wife is-but if she's
burned it is the Lords will. let her
go!' and off he started.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
DEFENDERS OF THE FLAG.

The pension Office has compiled
the annexed list of the number of
soldiers who have served in the wars
in which Uncle Sam has been engag-
ed since the yenr 1175:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

HyHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
II fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cinty that he has taken charge of this Establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects to suit all
those who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects to give entire satisfaction to all
g ChildIen and Ladies' Hair neatly cut
and shampooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
y3n33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
USEFUL GIRL.-.My DAUGHTER ;

USEFUL UIKL.- NY daughter,
says the editor ofthe Seymour (Ind. J
Times, becoming disgusted with the
rowing printers we had to employ, de-
termined to do all the work herself.
She set every type in the current is
sue of the paper, including new adj
vertisements, and had three columns
left over, for next week ! besides
which she did big washing, rea |
about fifty newspapers, and took two
days recreation at the county fair"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

A MIXED UP FAMILY.-A sufferer
by alliances between connections by
marriage, thus explains his position ;
II married a widow who had q
grown-up daughter. My father visit.
ed our house very often, and fell in
love with my step-daughter and mar
ried her. So my father became my
son-in-law and my step-daughter my
mother, because she was my fathers
wife. Some time afterward my wife
had a son; he was my fathers broth
er-in-law and my uncle, for he was a
brother to my step-daughter. My
fathers wife. G., my step-daughter,
had also son: he was, OF course, my
brother, and in the meantime my
grand child, for he was the son of my
daughter. My wife was my grand
mother, because she was my mothers
mother. | was my wlte's husband
and grandchild at the same time
And as the husband of PERSONS
grandmother is his grandfather, | was
my own grandfather.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12
NOTICE.

4 LII PERSONS OWING ON sUBscRIP-
II tion or note on account Of railroad compile
fion to Albany please call and settle immediate-
ly. BEN. H0LLADAY,
YZn6 q. b J. II. Foster.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-01-12

How to consume time.--eat dates.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

Pinchhack, as President OF the War
moth Republican State Central Com
mittcc, has issued - call for Il state Con-
VcntiOn to meet in New orleans on the
2nd of May, to nominate State officers
and elect delegates to the Republican
National Convention. Packard, rrcsi-
dent of the Central Committees of the
Customhou~c faction, is expected to call
:, state Convention. for similar prrpo-
Sc-, in u few days.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

WarmOth'S efforts at Wash ington,
Or Grants, or the joint efforts of the
faction leaders, which ever it was, to
unite the Radical wings on this State,
proved abOrtiVc. The CuStOmhOuSe
crowd positively refused to max terms
with the Governor. Two State con-
ventions will follow and it is quite
likely, two State tickets, unless Pinch
back adhcres to his expressed deter
mination not to follow, Warmoth in
supporting the liberal Republican
candidate for President. WarmOth had
better go to work. lie appears to be
between the upper and neither mill
stones ut this time.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30
To the Picayunc.

The Peoples Party Convention has
been postponed to the 18th of Juno. The
National Republican Convention as
sen1bles ut Philadelphia just three days
before. Tire Picayune, commenting up
on proposed coalition of the Grant
Republicans and the =. p, says it re-
mains f"r" cNpcdiency' to accept or re-
jcct the coalition
Is 1t possible that the RcfOrmcrs are
paving the way to support Grant: Will
the Picayunc Civ" us an explicit an
SN.nro
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30
Invitation to IOwery.

The people of North Carolina are
very much troubled about Henry Bcr-
~ Lowery, an outlaw onc-third white
and the other two-thir,ls Indian and
negro, who, with Il gang of some six or
eight desperatloes, is lording it over
Robson county in that State. Several
thousand dollars reward is offered for
Henry, dead or alive; and notwith-
standing this is IN age of grecnbackS,
Henry still runs at large in the swamps
of Robson county, ,lefying the law,
the militia and the people alike. If
Henry don't believe he can be captur-
ct, let him remove to Jackson parish
and cut up some of his dido~. The
people there don't cry peace, when
there is no peace.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

senator Ramsey, of Minnesota, has
introduced Il bill in the Senate to con =
Struct and aid in rebuilding the leyccs
on the Mississippi river, and for other
purposes; incorporating the MiSSis-
Sirpi icvcc and Telegraph Company
with Il capital of ten million dollars. to
construct lcvees and IL line of telegraph
from Girardcau, Missouri, to- Fort Jack
son, Louisiana, on both sides of the
river, to be free from State taxation
and with land grant of twenty-five sCr-
lions per mile along the line OF said
IcEcrS,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

Old Quilts is now acting Governor of
Louisiana. From Il negro dance house
of easy virtue to the Chief Mayistracy
of this great COMMUNICATIVE Thanks
to the Great Oliver of all good and per
feet gifts, we can pass this last one to
tflr credit of the Devil
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

The London Times says most posi-
lively that Great Britain will not conf
ply with the dentaud of this govern
mcnt for indirect damages III the .\la-
hanla controversy. If such damages
arc insisted upon, the Times says the
conference is at an end
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30
Franklin Parish.

We learn from Col. Ntct:ncry. who
i~JuSt from Franklin, that the political
sentiment there * almost unanimous
i'll favor of the Democracy. We never
knew Franklin to go wrong.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30
The HOS>icr Democracy.

The Democratic Convention of Ep--
Sicr parish tabled Il resolution declaring
that the Democratic party i dead. 49,
Their delegation WAS accredited to the
Drmurr:,tic state Convention alone.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

The National Democratic Commit
tee meets early i'll May, after the meet
Ing of the Cincinnati Convention, to
fix time and place for holding the Ma
tiOnal Convention. The time will pro-
badly be the 4th of July and place 81.
Louis.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

Speaking. OF Senator John Ray, his
late "ofiici;,i" organ says:
His record since the war, particularly
in reference to certain matters, has not
added to his strength among the pco-
pie.
There is a covert insinuation here,
that Mr.. Ray has been off the track
since the war. What "mattcrs'' are
refereed to: If they are "ccrtain," the
specifications ought to be forthcoming,
in justice both to the accuscr and the
gencer says that, if it is sscorrcctly in
formed Hon. John Ray is interested in
the Levce swiItt1ies." Now, Mr.. Ray,
as a sWindicr, is a character We have
yet to give him. If we, his persistent
opponent, have never reached that
pitch in dcnunciation, upon what evil
dence does orr neighbor proceed in cir
culating such Il grave charge: Is Sen
ator Ray Il swindlcr, who prostituted
his trust as Senator to accomplish his
Company no better than the great real
estate agent who sometimes uses a
whole line of fOolscap to sign his name
with the title affixed Of President Of the
Police Jury: If Senator Ray is not
honest, in the name Of honesty who of
the Radical party is? OF course, we
expect only an approximate answer
We don't calculate to draw Il capital
prize from the prosecutor in this case,
but simply one of tho approximate
prizes because, in fact, that party has
no capital prizes in honesty for any
one to draw.
We do not ask Mr.. Ray for his esti-
mate Of the States witness, because that
witness is, by prescription, our meat
We have cultivated him closely. We
have SUBSIDIZED the ground all around
him. We have dug about him and
pruned him. AS an operator in jail lots
and repairs, we have seen him attain
almost perfection; but we could not
make a good assessor or assignee of him.
He never got further than the first
syllable, and there he stopped and stuck
hard and fast.
What we specially wish to arrive ut,
in this matter, is the standard of
weights and measures used by the Rad
ical party. We want to know how far
Il member of that party has to go, in
order to be accused by his associates of
swindling. What high crime or mis-
demcanor is it that confessedly detracts
from his strength as a Radical: At
what point docs he begin to lose cast in
the party: When did Mr.. Ray begin
to descend the hill, and what was it
that crippled him: Inuendocs, among
brethren, will not do. Mr.. Ray is I,
public man, and no one is moro OF 4
public man than his accuser, because
we have advertised him freely; and
the public claim to be informed about
their servants. Let us have nothing
unmanly. We are all men and patri-
OTIS. We don't want to sec the country
misled, cheated Or wronged. We in
vitc our neighbor, therefore, to Il public
conference, where he may boldly utter
and substantiate his charges, or confess
outright that his true bill is not Il h7u
bill.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-03-30

The city of Columbus, Miss, alt houwh
paying already heavy railroad tax,
voted last week to- tan the property of
the rttyS 100000 i'll ait Of the Columbus
and Decatur Railroad.