The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-10-10
HUMOROUS.

! y NostucGelCu6 lat lSt mas haHsGO
a prize rooster Robinson, because
Robinson Cru soc.
A countryman saw skeleton of
donkey in local museum. CHOW
odd we look without fleshr' he said.
Ifs cause be good, the violent at
tacks of its enemies will not iniure
t so much as an injudicious de-
fence oft by its friends.
Garrick once said that the reason
Why the players beat the preachers
was because the actor treated fiction
as irlt was reality, and the preacher
reality as if it were fiction.
An old lady, speaking of Adam
naming all the animals, said she
lidn't think he deserved any credit
for naming the Pig-anyone would
know what TO call him.
No man can, for any considerable
| period, wear one face 20 himself and
another to the multitude, without
finally getting bcwildered as to
which may be true.
Il don't care much about the
bugs" said Warmley TO the head OF
genteel clearinghouse, "but the
fact is, madam, I havn't the blood
to spare; you sec that yourself"
Never seek to be entrusted with
ycur friends secret, for, no matter
how faithfully you may keep it, you
will be liable in a thousand contin-
geneics to suspicion Of having be-
trayed it.
Tommy was cautioned against
eating too much luncheon, because
he would spoil his appetite for din
ner. But Tommy said he would
rather have a good luncheon than a
good appetite any time.
The following is copy Of a bill
posted on the wall OF a country viii
lage: @Alecture on total abstinence
will be delivered in the open air, and
collection will be made at the door
to defray expenses"
Horne Tooke was the son of
poulterer, and when called upon 10y
the proud striplings Of Eaton to dc
scribe himself, replied, Il am the
son of an eminent Turkey mer-
chant"
Josh Billings says, "Wo read that
Esaw sold hiz birthrite for soup,
and many wondered at hiz extrava-
gance; but Esaw discovered arly
what many man hsz discovered
since, that it is hard to live on
pedigree"
Mr.. Smith is fond of making
quotations; but he gets them mixed
sometimes, as for instance;
so, woman. in hours Of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard TO please :"
''But, seen too oft, familiar with her
face, i.
We first endure, then pity, then en-
brace"
That young lady who pretended
to have thrown herself into the yor-
tex at Niagara Falls because Charles
had deserted her, proves to be a
"little fraud" 1t was only a ruse,
and she is alive and well. 1t is thus
that the public is swindled with bo-
gus sensations. The girl ought TO
make good her pretensions or be
punished for swindhng.
A new way Of getting rid of unde-
sirable babies has been invented in
Boston. A few days ago a girl with
All infant in her arms hailed pas
sing horse-car. Before stopping on
the platform she handed the anima-
ted package to the conductor and
then concluded not to get on Rt'all,
but disappeared through the crowd
and was eeen no more. This may
have been a relief for the girl, but
it put the conductor in an embarras-
ing position.
In a jolly company each one vas
to ask question; lift was answered,
he paid q forfeit; or II he could not
answer it himself lie paid forfeit.
Pats question was, How the little
ground squirrel digs his hole with
out showing any dirt about the en-
tranceY
Whom they ali gave up, Pat said
Sure, do you sec, he begins at tho
other end Of the hole" Que Of the
rest exclaimed: "But how does no
get thereY' "Ah," said Pat '.thats
tho QaestioH-can you answer it
80 lrself1''
Sometimes a good thing happens
even in Oregon, ss We are told by a
correspondent in that region.
Lawyer b eallad at the Office
OF Counselor p, who has had
considerable practice in bankruptcy.
aud said, ''Soo here, p, I want
TO know what the practice Is in such
aud such s case in bankruptcy"
p Strengthening himself up
and looking IS wise IS possible, re-
piled, ''Wel Mr.. B., / generally
get paid for telling what know"
B-put his hand into his pock-
ct, drew forth half dollar, handed
it 70 p. and said, "Here, tell mo
oil you know, and give me the