The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-10-31

aau vAHIFrIEs,
Galley slaye-The printer.
! A new psir Of kids-rTwirw. 81 nps1
eAAtaie Il misery ATltc cocktail 90
Birds of i'll omen-The political caws.
Mount Nesuvius is said ns,e fiery old
csmter tfh @
! He who talks, sows; he who listens,
Greaps. ~ .a
4 Music is the food OF love; beef and NUT
ton that of matrimony. ss ;#ssH
- Gravity is more evidence Of wisdom
than paper collar ola shirt 76
Rheumatism Is sometimes a joint affair,
ard yet there is only one party to it.
A young woman,s conundrum; Who
is. our favorite Roman hero? Marius.,
If speech is silver, and il silence is gold,
how much is deaf and dumb man worth.
"Husband, if man is Gods noblest work,
what Is an honest woman" "His rarest
DEAR 4
How to make rich jam--Crowd thirty
Acknowledgement ladies into one street
car. So sE 6
y make good broil--Leave a letter
from one of your old sweethearts where
your wife can find il.
What is tile difference between physi-
cian and a magician. One is cupper,
and the other is sorcerer.
Whom the gods would destroy they
first make mad Yes, and when some
men world dye, they first get madden,
A colosed man in North Carolina pull
ed mules tail to show his dociliiy. His
funeral sermon was an hour and half
long. II a 5. H.-tt
A young man generally gives a lock of
his hair 10 his sweetheart before he mar
ries her. After marriage she generally
helps herself. svs
Harry Bassett whisky" is the latest al
coholic novelty in the bar-rooms A pony
of this whisky is said to be equal TO a
horse of any other sort. En
| The pun fiend is.:igain on the war path.
Here il hrs latest effort: "Why is an egg
produced in May like native Of Malacca?
Because it isa May.lay" =
What is the difference between the Girl
Of the Periods seat on horseback and her
gain in walking? One is sidesaldle and
The other is a sad sidle.
| An Illinois editor has become 50 hollow
from depending for substance on his paper
| that he has Advertised himself for stove
pipe, at three cents foot
Mamma-"Now take your medicine
like good girl, and when you get we'll
I'll buy You nice dolly Sick child
PLEASE, ma, have it a Dolly Warden
o, Tommy, that was abominable in you
to'eat your sisters share Of the cake =
Why said Tommy, didn't you tell me-
that was always to,take her part =
Josh Billings says: whenever find
| a real handsome woman engaged in vim.
Minis rights Dizziness, then am going To
take my hat under my arm and iinc the
procession" r
Good morning, Patrick; you have
got a new Goa, at las', but it fits you rather
too much" "Och, there's nothing sur.
prism about that, sure wasn't there
when Twas measured for it,
George" asked the teacher ola Sun
day-schooi class, "who above all others
shall you first wish to see when you get
to heaven - With face brightning up
with anticipation, the little fellow shouted.
.sGerliah.'
whats 10 become of me, when YOU
dieg" asked an etfectionate wife Of her re-
ceding husband Il don't know" he
snapped ont. querulousIy. 1T would
look better in you to be thinking what's
10 become of mes
A Dutchman, getting excited over an ac-
count Of an clopement of q married
woman, gives his opinion thus " If my
wife runs away nit anoler mans wife, ]
shakes him out of his preeches, if she be
mine fadder, mine Cod
Rich Maiden Lady-"Well. May, why
are you looking 50 hard at me-" May
I'm looking for your other face" Lady
What other face, child 2. May Why,
ma is always saying you have two faces"
CONSERVATION of mamma.l
An old farmer said 10 his sons: Boys,
don't you ever wait for sumplit to turn up
You might just as we'll 90 on an SIT down
on a stone in the middle of a medder
with pale atwixt your legs. an wait for a
COW 10 back up TO you to be MIXED"
Get out of my way-what are you good
forg'said cross old man, to little
bright-eyed urchin, who happened to
stand in the way" The little fellow, as he
stepped one side, replied very gently
They make men out Of such things as we
are
A clerical passenger by the Meiis. who
fln.ied around all night. and reached land
at last, with vivid thoughts Of his w,fe's
anxiety, rushed to the nearest telegraph
Office and sent this messenger: Dear p,
am saved Breathe 1t gently 10 my
wife,
Il never 20 70 church." said an irreycr-
ent man to pious lady Il always spend
Sunday in settling accounts" There is
another day" said the lady, that will be
spent in the same way" "What day is
that = asked the man the day Of judge
mcn.," was the solemn reply.
10 sh Billings says: when was lii
tie boy and wore naked feet, and was loaf
ing around loose for strawberries. was
oftimcs just going to step on striped
snaik, but il always cured me oy strawber.
rvs. If striped snaik got into a 10akre
lot before did, alwus konsidcred that
all the blackberrys in that lot belonged
tew. the snaik-"