Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-15
ADvERTIsINdRATES
Pleasant Paragraphs.

"A DetrOIE woman struck by lightning
yelled "pOlfce."
The frst thing to take in life is milk,
the last thing is our bier.
1t is hard for the hungry man to wait
when he smells roast beef.
A man who don't know ANYTHING
will tell it the first time he gets chance.
Whatare domestic Hsagazines? Wives
who are always blowing up their hus-
bands.
''Oh, for a thousand tongues p, said
the lad when he crawled into molasses
barrel. '..i-'7... 80 ..i.ie-liiAJ =" -
Railroads are aristocratic. They teach
every man to know his station and to
stop there. s5eIA2 2s-.l a. llIl14
"Let's investigate,n /, what thew saw
now, nov . instead i oi the !, more vulgar "Come
- . " ~ n = islIAss sAbval
Backward, turn backward, oh time
in your flight. Agassiz has discovered
that oysters used to be foot in diane
ter. siJ ~ ioiEnibtoa ~sH IfAWaL
What is the differences between a
Christian and a eannibal? The one en-
Joys himself, and tire other enjoys other
people. erH l'.f'F-. 10 SniA = fihAkh
Remember that every ! person, how
ever low, has rights and feelings which
you are bound, by the laws of common
decency, to respect. 2 - - +" .%oii
'l'What is fit It that stieketh faster than than
a brother ?" said Sunday school te:fth-
ler to one :, of his, class. 81 A postage
stamp, by gum'r' said the fhcofrigible,
A newly married woman of genteel
appearance, went iint8 a afarniture shop
a fewdays since, and inquired for .
family fruit basket. She was shown a
large cradle, which was just what she
wanted. 1'1 -' q ''''''-i
An exchange says: "NOthing is 50
painful as to see a man over eighty in
texicited, "iAj O, yes. ~ To see a man
over ninety intoxicated lis just as pain
ful, II notIInore so-.nou xiliEIl.1 Gail
An ingenious dentist of New York
lightens his more arduoQs tasks by
making artificial flowers out of. human
teeth Stained in various colors. 1t is
pleasant tosay 0fione's extracted nfolar
that it ''eometh up as fiOwer.Y b. y''I
IA drunken Irishinan on being told
that his intempefate habits would soon
make his poor wife a widow, was quite
affected and exclaimed: "Och, faith
it nd make the wretchedest man in the
wureld to see Mrs. GooBs a widderi'' az
I'm New Hampshire the following is
posted ON fence .-ss NottisAEnow kow
is all0ued in these medders,i eny naen
or women letten thare koWs run the
rode, wOt gifts inter my meddars, afOre-
SADIE shal have hit tale cut orr by me,
Obadiah Rogers. .nIi.d ii.-sl -iist - 'n
Al farnier laughed when his prudent
wife advised him not to smoke on q
load of hay. He footed it home that
night, with his hair singed, most of the
garments prey to the deyeuring, ele-
ments, and the iron-work Of the wagon
in IA potato sack; and then his wife
laughed. iEi11 - slz 81
III. G.. remarked, Just after receiving
the intelligence that his favOrite Chap
paqua Tahby had a litter of Kittens,
that if cats were fed twice q day on-tor1
toise she'll scraps they would produce
Icat-a-conlbs. 80 ''i', - M
- .I1'1-f 9c'..:tti ,b,,f3 sc 91iffs % oDasi
A Democrat delivered himself thus
ly, recently, in q telass meeting:' "Dear
brothers and sisters, thar's brother Jake
and his family's for Grant, and brother
George and his family's for Greeley,
but as for me and my family, we're for
Jesus" 'oa -.
Henry Ward Beecher said to. his con-,
gregatiOn in a sermon on home life and
Hospitality, Sunday, I honor the wo-
man who comes to me whearI call, in
dress suited to her work.I donltiwant to
sit buried in plush in the, parlor waiting
three quarters of an hour for toilet
What Is good enough for you Is good
enough for your friends" :" 81. -i.'i o.''
A lady in XerIia by the name of VIM
ters will have to pay 81, ,20O for the priv
|ilege of saying that a young lady Aad
become instrumental in increasing the
population of that city, or words to
that effect. The goSSipy people Of
Xenia and all Others, of whom Spring
field has its share, should be- warned
that bridling the tongue may be eeon-
tomy of the purse at last. ,.i....s.,. ....,-
Italy has. her banditti and Greece her.
brigands, and the pyramids reek with
one kind of violence, and the HOLY
Land with another, bat al these to-
getner are said 20 INSPIRE less terror IN
tpe aserage Itt.rllsy AiHeIlS3su, 1.s3 ,H raiilu
tnan tlle ctaLsss VI sliq tsTtel 1Ali.seit'
at our pressure rssoIls' cIs w Mi,aSn ~, 1re as
heAvy IN some iilStangss s ss e.ie cnarge i'i
u 'lle slA' huliureu ~ A''''''' ''''~. :.
CO., ps5,oas oS assde e n en- s,,a.s.h ~ u Rsss 1'
~ - tha ,oi,,S;,,n 81 4 ;s argn ns a,,,
~ h.;ateJ III 6ssnocrst yeiiaS ONT ~
,h Si,, =, 'tsSVbb De',te Iaf Rsy;s bs;JssS %
tsnI, q >,.,,r s,lJ sao,s;n Naur Yora-r Ssyhn
bsdn,t + cbilJ or chick in the asmy1i.
was Palmer's very sensible reply. And
..s~%,,v D,I,11or so anHoo xrorincr 70 n,aIa