The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-07-02


"Now Kate" said he gravely, "we've
planned and we must execute. We both
hate her; she hates us. If we can hurry
her back to Maple Hill let's do it. Once
place her in ridiculous light before Mr..
| Wayland, and his love will 60 down to
zero, if not lower.
"WelI," Iassented, ego ahead, l will be
prepared" . ta.r c' .1Y4
We were now at the boat. Miss Mel
bourne was handed in and seated, and
sat down demurely by her side. Frank
and uncle used all their strength to push
off, and soon we glided down the stream,
and sailed till the pile of clouds in the west
were crimson tinted by the setting sun.
Miss Melbourne limited at return, as al
ready the early dew began to tell on her
bonnet strings SO we turned about.
We were then within half-mile of land
ding. The wind seemed suddenly to get
fresh and flap our SAIL which was propi-
tious for our plan. fo... a7'
Nearer and nearer we came to the Shore
and / knew that the moment was fast
approaching by the stern look that settled
on Franks face. Another flaw of wind,
mismanagement of the sail known only to
Frank, and over went the boat.
A scream from Miss Melbourne, and she
was splashing in the water. was an ex-
pert swimmer, and grasped Miss Melbourne
about her waist with one hand while Frank
righted the boat and clambered in. Uncle
came upon Miss Melbourne's other side.
His sole anxiety was for her, knowing
was perfect duck in the water.
Frank grabbed Miss Melbourne first by
her waterfall, but alas her one hundred
and ten avoirdupois could not be held by
dozen hairpins 4; but there Frank stood in
the boat, with q waterfall in his hand, mi
nus head Quick as thought he threw it
overheard, and grabbed Miss Melbourne's
front hair. Alas off that came, and Frank,
standing in the boat, looked like an Indian
chief fresh from scalping expedition and
Miss Melbourne, looking like anything but
a watersprite, threwher head back on the
bosom of uncle's white coat which was al
ready pink with the fasty disappearing
bloom of Miss Melbourne's cheeks and
tainted.
Her mouth opened, and Frank, in his
frantic endeavors to save her, somehow or
the other got his fingers into her mouth,
and extracted both sets of her teeth, and
Miss Melbourne, incapable of longer sue
tion, let the plumpers roll out upon Uncle
Waynard's breast
guess the spark of uncles love went
out with the plumpers for he smiled and
said
Frank, if you can find place that
will hold, pull her in"
"Better let her drop" ventured the sau-
cy Frank, pausing moment as if for con-
sent, and then he took her in his arms and
laid her at the bottom of the boat
| Uncle and l were in in jiffy with the
helping hand of Frank. There lay Miss
Melbourne, shorn of all her glory, and
was just thinking would tell uncle about
the other artificial article when Frank ex-
claimed:
"For heavens sake what is that ?"
There was Miss Melbournes s artificial leg
lying two feet away from her, on the bot
tom of the boat and under uncle's feet.
In the rush it had become unfastened.
"Good Heavens ~ exclaimed uncle,
twill this woman come all to pieces be-
fore we can get her home ?''
"I'll run home and bring down bush
el basket to convey her in said the cruel
Frank. 81 guess there is about two pecks
of her when we come to gather up the frag-
ments"
We landed before Miss Melbourne came
to herself. Uncle had gone for the carriage.
/ guess he did not care to be present when
she revived. She partially opened her eyes
and said
"Where am II"
"Calm yourself, my dear madam" said
Frank, soothingly. "a part of you ishere
a part drowned, and
But she heard no more, for clapping her
hands on her head, and gnashing her gums,
she collapsed again.
Uncle came back in q few moments and
we entered our carriage, and were driven
rapidly homeward.
She revived, coming up the avenue, but
"phancy her phelinks," as uncle lifted her
to the house, to see Frank, coming along
with the leg on his shoulder and saying;
{" ! am sorry, my dear madam, this acci-
dent occurred. That flaw of wind took me
unawares. But thank Heaven, you are
safe.", .tsr..,tI
Ii is needless to add that Miss Melbourne
departed as soon as recuperated energies
came, and refused to see uncle at all, of
which he was heartily glad and don't
think he has scarcely looked at a woman
since.
A few days after, Frank came in and
threw something on my lap. Itook 1t up
thinking 1t was pretty shell, and 10 ! it
was a glass eye. a. 1., lrYA .r
"Where did this come from P'' ex-
claimed, dropping it.
"Why, l was bailing out the boat, and
found that In the bottom, l guess she
feigned fainting to hide the hole this fit
ted" said he, placing it among the shells
on the whatnot. "
p GAS work Of art admire that woman
he said, after pause, "but as ono Of ma
ture's beauties / admire my Kate And
he dropped on his knees at my side,
Christmas came and a Wedding. We
would have been married before, but
waited for d husband with a houstache.
IL had got back to its old proportion, and l
had the felicity of hearing Cousin Made
iHHOh, isn't, he landsome? 9n tdgrfd