The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-05-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

TEE last question that has troubled phil
osophers is thn: Which causes o girl most
pleasure, to hear herself praised or another
girl run downl
"WHAr ann de difference 'twixt q watch
and q fedder bed, Sambo r. dunno
glb it up. Cause de tickin' OBJ de watch
Is on De inside, and de tickin' OBJ de bed on
the outside"
Ar school exhibition which came off
short time since, one Of the little boys, who
had grudge against his pedagogue, on &C
count of recent HOgging, IL said to have
delivered this pointed oration:
30, Lord Of love
Look from above
On poor little RcholArs:
We've had fool
To teach our school,
And paid him fry dollars"
GALL flesh is grass" sighed SpriogIes
after dinner the other day, and the wretch
ed man immediately added. "Of all the
years, after being catechised concerning the
power OF nature, replied, Nov, | think
there's one thing nature can't do" ''What
is it, my child r. "She can't make Bill
Jones mouth any bigger without setting
his ears back"
WILLIAM, who used to boast that he new
er owed a shilling in his life, and never
would, IN less than year after his mar
rage had little Bill 20 take up every day.
MYrHEER, do you know what for we
call our boy Hans :" do not, really"
Well, tell You. Der reason we call our
boy Hama is because that ish his name"
A RECENTLY-IssUED piece of sentimental
music is Meet me at the postofice, writ
ten by young lady who could never 20 for
her mail without meeting her male
"KGrY, have you laid the table cloth
and plates yet " eau sure have, mem,
everything but the eggs and isn't that
Biddy's work, Su- ely :"
Boy, where does this road 20 TO 9''-
No where, as know on. It's alters
staid here"
"CAN you tell me, Billie, how it is that
the rooster always keeps his feathers 80
smooth r.
"Nor
He always carries his comb with
him."
A STORY is told Of q father in church
who, when the marriage service came to
the point where the clergyman asks, ''Who
giveth this woman to be married to this
man y replied, "Well, sir, am called to
do it, although it do go agin the grain. i
wanted her TO marry Bill Plowser, who ia
worth twice the money O. that ere man.
Or all things that bind man to4he earth
on which we dwell, and give him genuine
interest in this kind, there ID nothing &C
sovereign a. the ties of domestic circle.
| JIM GUPPINs was q very clever, nice
good -dispositioned, thick-haaded sort Of .
fellow, and was the butt OF the girls in hil
neighborhood. The most brilliant thins
he ever said was when some Of the fAil
teasers questioned him one day i'm regard
TO his power Of memory.
How far back in your life can YOU re
member, Jim r.
"Oh, / can remember the day wa
born, was his reply.
The day you were born, exclaimed on
OF the young ladies Of the party.
why, jim, what can you remember 0
. that day r.
"Oh, remember very distinctly, that o.
the day / was born set on little stool il
the corner Of the fireplace and cried 70
/ fear was girl.
II Cod bless the wives,
~ They an our hives
With little bees and honey
~ They ease lhes shocks,
They mend our socks,
. But don't they spend the money!
"Do you cast things here 2" inquired
Yankee, the other day, AZ he sauntered in
to foundry, and addressed the proprietor
\ Yes, We do" You cast al kinds G
things in iron, eh 7" was the next query
Certainly, don't you see it is our busi
. ness Y "Ah well, cast a shadow, will youl
He was cast out.
= A MISPLACED SwIrCH. the passen
gers were preparing to leave their seats, O
!, the arrival Of the New York train in Boz
Ton, the other evening, an old gentlemA
picked up dark object which appeared
+ drop from . lady's bonnet Madam,
v this yous1 You appear to have droppe
!, 1t by accident" Thank you, sir, (placin
-.