The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-02-23
ATALE OF A PAIR OF pASTALOONs.

Davenport, our sister city, has
just had q sensation. 1t was all
about pair of pantaloons, and is to
terminate in q divorce suite In my
preceding letter I alluded to the
encouraging manner in which the
people ont this way are emulating
the famed example of Chicago's
good citizens The case in hand is
another illustration. For instance,
Davenport legal gentleman went
out one evening last week to have q
quiet game of Billiards. He stuck
to his for several faithful hours,
conYivialjzed with his friends still
longer, and went home. On retire.
ing to rest, he was most singularly
uneasy, and tossed about for some
time without dropping into that
peaceful slumber we usually derive
from a clear conscience. His lady
was annoyed and complained kind
ly. 1t was of no use, however.
Something drove sleep from his
eyelids. At this juncture his lady
was taken suddenly and alarmingly
i'll (however, fortunately he had re-
manned awake and he was appealed
to hasten off to the nearest drug
store in quest of a restorative. He
hastily aLtired himself, doublequick-
ed down street, rushed into store,
obtained the article so urgently
required, and produced his pocket
book to pay for it. Great Caesar!
What had transpired? He had
never seen that wallet beforehand
the pants they were not his own.
Gould it be possible he was in his
right mind Was 1t not rather all
distempered dreamS He resolved
to see, and without stopping to take
the remedy with him, he rushed
back to the wife of his bosom. He
did not flourish revolver. He did
not smash furniture. He did not
strike attitude like gladiator. He
simply took part in the following
conversation
"Jane?"
eyes, DEAR"
.'How are you feeling ~
"Better. Much better. l think a
good sleep is all now need. How
kind of you to go to so much trou-
BILE 2"
every kind, wasn't it ?"
every kind, honey
"Jane shall turn on the gas p
'1f you like, dear"
The gas was turned on.
"Jane ?"
eyes, dear"
fFDo these look like my panta-
loons?"
"Why, what can you mean, dear ?"
81 mean do these resemble the
trowsers l wore home this eve
ming ?"
"Why, how can 1 tell dear :" and
Jane raised up with some surprise
and reluctance, gave a quick glance,
and screamed outright.
Husband" said she, with some
embarrassment, you've made rid
icuIous mistake somewhere, while
out with your friends. What in
the world have you been doing to-
night"
sThat's rather thin, Jane. We
don't usually take off our pants to
play billiards.. When 1 went to bed
tonight l laid my proper panta-
looms on that there chair. When [
dressed to go out, the pair have
on first fell in my way. 1 put them
on. l discovered at the store they
were not mine. L returned at once,
andhow 1 find the pair ] left on the
chair are missing"
Jane began to sob, weep and pro-
test her innocence, while the hus-
band paced the floor in deep ref1ec-
ton.
'Jane," at last he said, 81 guess
you can go home to your parents
tomorrow. You and l have got
ten along very well for a year or
two, but the things played"
And down stairs he went with a
deaf ear to the frenzied appeals and
prayers she showered after him.
An investigation on the morrow
disclosed the fact that the myster-
iously procured pantaloons contain
ed just $500 more than the pair that
had so mysteriously walked off.
Jane left on the first train for her
Illinois home, a bill OF. divorce has
been filed and no one has called to
exchange pantaloons and pocket