, 1872-12-25
HOW l. ESCAPED BEING KILLED IN A DUEL.

AAAAAA~--N-''
HOW l. ESCAPED BEING KILLED IN A DUEL.
by Mark Twain.
Tho only merit I claim for the following mar
ratiTe is that it is true story. It has 8 moral
at the end Of it, but claim nothing on that, as
it is merely thrown in to curry favor with the
religious element.
After had reported couple OF years On the
Virginia City (Nevada) Daily Enterprise, they
promoted me to be editor-in-chief- l lasted
commonly lively newspaper while I did
last, and when / retired / had duel On
my hands, and three horse-whippings
promised me. The latter made
concerns only the former. It was the old flush
times " Of the silver excitement, when the popu-
lation was wonderfully wild and mixed: every
body went armed to the teoth, and all Sights and
insults had to be atoned for with the best article
Of blood your system could furnish. In the
COURSE Of my editing made trouble with q Mr.
Lord editor of rival paper. He few up at
some little trife or other that said about him
7 do not remember now what it Was. suppose
called him thief, Or body-snatcheE, or an
obliged to make the paper readable, and
I could not fail in my duty to g. whole COM
munity Of Subscribers merely to save the o1ag-
gerated sensitiyeness Of an individual MIR.
LOr1 WIS QuGnQeu, anu IGpleu vigorously LII
his paper. Vigorously means q great deal when
it refers to personal editorial in q frontier
newspaper. Duelling wss al the fashion among
the upper classes in that country, and very few
gentlemen wonld throw away an opportunity
Of lighting one. To kill q person in . duel caused
man to be- even more looked up to than to
kill two men in the ordinary way. Well out
there. if you abused q man, and that man did
not like it, you had to call him out and kill him7
otherwise, you would be disgTaeed:. So chal- =
would not accept; but knew perfectly well
that he did not want to fight, and so I chal-
lenged him in tho most violent and implacable
manner. Aud then sat down and suffered and
suffered till the answer came. AL our boys-the
editors-wore in our Office, helping" me in the
dismal business, and falling about duela, and
discussing the code with lot Of aged rufians
who had had experience in such things, and alto
gether there was loving interest taken in the
matter, which made me unspeakdbly uncomfort-
able. The answor came-AIr- Lord declined.
Our boys we're furious, and go was l-on the
surface.
sent him another challenge and another and
another; and the more he did not want to fight,
mans tone changed. He appeared to be waking
up. It was becoming apparent that he was 60
ing to fight me, after ali. I ought to have known
how it would be--ho vas man who mover could
be depended upon. Our boys were e1ultant. I
was not, though tried to be.
1t was now time to 60 out and practice. It was
the custom there to fight ducls with navy six
shooters at fifteen paces-load and empty till
the game for the funeral was secured We went
to d little rayine just outside OF town, and bor-
rowed q barn-door for q targct-boHowed it Of &
gentleman who was absent-and We stood this
6arn-door up, aud stood rail on end against the
middle Of it to represent Lord, and put squash
on top Of tho rail to represent his head. He
Of material for duel-nothing Dut .
line shot could '.fetch' him. and
even then ho might split your bullet.
Exaggeration aside, the rail was, OF courso,. a
little too thin to represent his body accurately,
but the squash was al right. If there was any
intellectual difference between the squash and
his head, it was in favor OF the squash.
Well, I pracilsed and practised at the barn
door, and could not hit it; and I practised at
the rail, and could not lit that; and tried hard
would have been entirely disheartened, but that
occasionally crippled one Of the boys, and
that encouraged mo to hope.
At last we began to hear pistol-shots near by,
in the next raTne. We knew what that meant !!
The other party we're out practising, too. Then
was in the last degree distressed; for, OF
course those people would hear our shots, and
they would send spies over the RIDGE, and the
spies would find my barn door without wound
or a scratch, and that would simply be the end
Of ne-for ct course that other man would i'm
mediatcly become as bloodthirsty as I was.
Just at this moment q little bird, no larger
than q sparrow, flew by, and Lit on d
ssge-buah, about thirty PAGES away; and my
uarksman with q pistol-much better than I
was--snatched out his revolver, and shot the
birds head off! We all ran to pick up the game,
and sure enough, just at this moment, some Of
the other duellists came reconnoitring over the
little ridge. They ran to our group to see what
the matter was; and when they saw the bird,
Lords second said:
ssThat was splendid shot. How far of VAS
it ?"
Steve said, with some inliference:
s'Oh, no great distance. About thirty PAGES. u
"Thirty PAGES! Heavens alive, who did it? "
My man-Twain."
:The mischief he did! Can he do that
often 7"
tsWe1l-yes. He can do it about-Tell-
about four times out Of five.'
I knew the little rascal WAS lying, but never
said anything. I never told him SO. He was
not Of disposition to invite condolences Of that
Kind, so I let the matter rest. But it was e
! comfort to see those people look sick. and see
their under-iaws drop, when Steve made these
statements. They went of and got Lord, and
took him home; and when we got home, half
an hour later, there was note saying that Mr.
Lord peremptorily declined to fight!
It was o narrow escape. We found out after
wards that Lord hit has mark thirteen times in
eighteen shots. IT he had put those thirteen
bullets through me, it would have narrowed my
sphere Of usefulness e good deal-would have
have put pegs in the holes, and used mo for hat
rack !; but what is q hat-rack to a man who feels
he has intellectual powers? would SCOTT such
e position.
1haye written this true incident Of my per-
sonal history for one purpose, and one purpose
only-to warn the youth Of the day against the
pernicious practice Of duelling, and to plead
with them to war against it. If the remarks and
suggestions am making can be Of any service
to Sunday School teachers, and newspapers in
terested in the moral progress Of society, they
are liberty to use them, and shall even be
grateful to have them widely disseminated, 80
That they may do as much good az possible
7 was Young and foolish when I ehal. !:
vas very fine and very grand to be- duelist,
and stand upon the field Of honor. Bnt am an
ibly opposed to the dreadful custom. am glad,
indeed. to be enabled to lit up my voice against
it is every mans duty to do everything he can to
discourage duelling. I always do now; dis
courage it upon every occasion.
Ii a man we're to challenge 1ue zsoao-now that
can fully appreciate the iniquity Of that prac-
ticc-I would 80 to that man, and tnEe him By
the hand, and lead him to 8 quiet, retired room