The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-04-25
cfFlCIM PAPER OF MaaITOWOC COUNTY.
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

THINGS WISE AND OIHERHl>E.
A simpletcn-20 cwt.
The first thing We take in life is milk,
the last thing is our bier.
The man who was moved to tears
complains of the dampness there.
r Arrangements have been made to have
the woman hoped who :" burst out cry
ing"
There's a boy in Salem so bright that
his mother has to look at him through bit
of smoked glass.
The inventor ofa watch that winds itself
up and gives pint OF milk a day, has gone
to Washington for patent.
A man who had read about converting
United State fve-twenties,' says he longs
to be missionary in that field, and knows
that be should cleave to his flock.
Barnum's Gamble from FIJI says: BE
jabhers, he'll not stand be,ng stared at for
a tin dollars wake; dye moind now =?
An Illinois minister reprove1 party of
lads who were playing cards in church by
some timely remarks regarding che last
trump.
The "proud eathartic state is what
her loving sons call the Commonwealth Of
Kansas. 1t all comes from the cultivation
of castor beans.
Taking umbrage-Mamma: I'm ber-el-
la-four syliables | have often told you,
George, IS incorrect. Now let me hear
you pronounce the word properly. George
Tin huff Bingham
green un who had never before seen a
steamboat, fell through hatchway down
into the hold, and being unhurt, thus loud
ly expressed his surprise: "Well, if the
durned thing amt holler.
A justice of the peace in Franklin county
announces that somebody has found 4" One
done hors of done color blrck main an /
tail about fifteen hands hi five years old no
other marks purceiyable."
a little girl, who has been much exer-
cised in mind in regard to the horrors of
steam boiler explosions, has hit upon sure
plan for preventing them in future, to-wt
"Fill the boiler with ice-water and set it
IN cool place
A joyous damsel rushed into n citizens
Arms at London bridge, exclaiming: "Oh,
you are my long lost brother" She dis
covered her mistake, and rushed off in IA
confused manner, accompanied by her long
iost prothef purse
Beware of pearl powder A Danburv
chap sat up five hours with IA new girl
Sunday night, and the next afternoon sub
mitted for two hours to the uuhinching de
maads of a stomach pump. The pump
conquered, but the poison was about the
last thing to come up.
As wife was holding her husband 5
aching head in her hands one morning, she
asked: " Are a and his wife one .
suppose so, said the husband "Then,
rejoined the wife, :" came home drunk
last night, and ought to be ashamed OF
myself
Ma, has your tongue got legs ?" Got
what child ?" Got legs, ma !? . Ger
tainly not, but why do YOU ask that silly
question 2" ooh, nothin-only | heard
pa say that it runs from morning till night,
and | wa. wondering how it could run with,
out legs; that's all ma
On New Years day Auber's ezra
Diavolo " was pert, rme at the Stadt thea
ira in Do-tmud. Fraulein Defer, in the
undressing scene, SO nearly approached a
state of nature that she reduced herself to
one single garment Certainly the part Of
Zerlina was never before rendered in lust
this way.
A Boston girl whose gallant, on ride,
contrary to her wish, insisted on stopping
at g tobacconist's for a cigar, took advan-
tage of his leaving her mistress of the stu
alton and the vehicle, to drive to her pater-
nal abode, in front Of which the abandoned
one, some hours aiteward, found his con.
veyance.
prepossessing and lady-like girl few
days ago was detected in stealing pair OF
silk hose in Boston store. On being APP
preached and reproachcd by one of the
preprietors, she began to weep pearly tears
and offered him $50 He magnanimouslv
charged her only the regular price of the
hose, and handed her back the change.
Her artless guile was remembered by him
with a tender smile till it was discovered
that the bill she gave was a counterfeit.
There is station on the Pittsburgh
Fort Nayne 4 Oh caco railroad, callec!
Hanna, IN honor OF a deceased citizen of
Fort Wayne. a train stopped there the
other day, ana the brakeman, after the
manner of his class, thrust his head INSIDE
the door and called on " Hanna" loud and
long A young lady, probably endowed
with the poetic appellation of Hannah,
supposing he was addressing he~, and,
shocked at his familiarity on so short an
acquaintance, frowned like a thunder
clouC, and retorted, Shut YOUR mouth =
He shut it.