The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1872-03-28
AMONG THE MAILS.

,gbyican. who has evidently "been there"
thus graphically describes his experience
as deputy postmaster:
was sworn in aud entered upon the
duties of the Office on the first day of July
lS-. Yes, was sworn into the offce'
and, for fear one oath wo'ld not answer
the ruprose, | swore in the office every
day for year at the end of which time
I had become so profane that ] swore my
self out Of Office without any difficulty.
shall never fargot the first days expe-
rience 1t was as hot as an attic sleeping
room, and the Office was about as large. >
Mails were in from Slangville, Talk
town, Blowon Valley, Lip Creek, Cab
Hill, Buzzing Flats, Crackfeld, aud
Shouting Hollow.
Mails in from the East, West, North
aud South
Way. mails, side mails, catch mails, and
through mails-all slung to you like bun.
dies of wheat, when you can't NOW them
away half as fast as they are slung. l
stood in the midst of that mountain Of
mail matter, so helpless and dumbfounded
L didn't know what the matter was. |
was as weak and timber as the limpSiest
bagint the pile. | actually did not know
myself from the sides Of sole leather that
lay aboutme.
In ten minutes the mail went East and
West in foutteen they went North and
South and already half dozen sorrel
whiskered, raccoon- capped stage-drivers
were shouting "mails y ''hurry up,
therew I'D slow, this morning." and
l heard one shimbly shambly, grass fed
director say to another: 81 guess the
new deputy is better hand ou sorting
taters than he is letters -
| knew I wasn't much of sorter that
day, nor much Of fighter any day, but |
did sorter want to get at that miserable
skinful of reviement, and show him my
proficiency as distributing clerk, but l
was otherwise engaged.
Frantically l seized the mail-key, and
the frst thing l attempted to do with it
was to wind up the clock. Finally | sue
ceeded in getting the mail bags open, aud
all emptied into huge box in the center
of the cfice
As near as could guess, there must
have been about fourteen bushels Of unas
sorted mail-matter.
If it had been about fourteen bushels
of beans to be handpicked, the task would
not have seemed more formidable.
Slagville letters went to the right, Talk
town letters went to the left, Bowon Val |
icy went over the right shoulder, Lip
Greek went over the left, Gap Hill went
oblquely to the left, Crackfeld went di-
rectly over the head, and Shouting Hollow
between the legs; the space directly 10
front being reserved for Bottleford.
was little particular at first not to
make any mistakes, but the grumblipg OF
ris1se waiting for their letters, aud the
shouting of the drivers without, warned
n.e that nay time was nearly up. So
just threw them around ike dealing whist,
gave each fair proportion, reserviug the
biggest pile for Bottleford.
Then stuffed the mai-bags, and jcrked
them out of the ofice-door, aud the hurry
and impatience of those miserable drivers
vanished as soon as they got possession OF
them One, the noisiest of the lot, the
cue who had made the undigniffed and
tatered comparison as a sorter, actually
hung around for half an hour, staring at
me through the window, and laughing at
my perplexites. He said he would have
NE reported at headquarters.
I made up my mind that if ever got
chance | would report at his headquarters,
and hind, too; for matter of that.
The stage drivers disposed of, more
formidable and impossible task presented
itself
Three hundred aud fifty letter boxes to
be hunted up, each with the owners
name, 10 a fine hand, written on it's up
per margin. My boss, the p NJ, told me
] must ind them out myself, then l would
always remember where they were
Hewas man who had far more con
fdence in his judgment than I had in nv
memory. recollect (and very surprising
it is that do) when I was FIRST put upon
the rsltiplicatiou-table, that solid square