The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-11-15
PLAIN DEALER,

people who so earnestly wished the
horse disease "in Halifax ought to lie
delighted. 1t has got there.
Whenever we find man in the cn-
jcyment Of a wide popularity, we may
be assured, however bad his reputation
may be, that lie has some good qualit--
les in an eminent degree.
A down cast shopkccper advertise
"quart bowls of all sizes for SALE"
A Chicago dry goods dealer advertis-
cs 1.-The most alarming sacrifice since
the days of Abraham and Isaac"
A Girl in Wisconsin swallowed fcrty
percussion caps. Her mother refraincd
from spanking her for fear of an explo--
sion.
1t is certain that, nine times out of
ten, we are nearer the truth in thinking
well of persons than i'll. Human nat
ure is tree bearing good as we'll as
evil, but our eyes are wide open to the
latter and half closed to the former.
Men think it no shame to give hand
some obsequies to those dead, whom
living they had suffered to strave un-
noticed ; but the. struggle Of sinking
poverty passes unseen in its corner.
A queer old gentleman being asked
what he wished for dinner, replied, IAN
appetite, good company. something to
cat, and napkin.''
The last specimen of word coming is
"Apothecarelessne.s.
Woman ought to do all she can to
make this earth paradise for man, as
it was all her fault he lost the other.
Detroit has girl nine years old who
can tell lie minute for a full hour.
She also steals and is obstinate.
What is the difference between a
good conscience and a brawler Zone
feels in the right, the other reels in the
fight.
/ Would say to all young men, marry
your second wife first, and keep out of
debt by all means, even if you have t.
borrow the money to do it.-Twain.
Somnambulistic husbands ont west
rise in their s,cep and whip their refrac-
tory wives, refusing to be awakened
until the castigatiou is finished.
An Idaho invalid was ordered by a
physician to take three ounces of bran
d. day, and knowing that Ii drains
make an onnce, has patiently been tax
ing As drinks bay ever since.
/. O'Conor has 40 votes in kentucky,
as far as heard from. Blattin Donkey
looks with contempt upon the people,
and has transferred his hopes to the
electoral college.
Can't think of anything good to say
of person you don't like ? Nonsense.
Take the case of house or a horse
which you have to sell because you
don't like it, and how much may be
truthfully said in its favor in an adyer-
tiscment.
lie that can not forgive others,
breaks the bridge over which lie must
pass himself.
a paper recently alluded to a man
as "battle scared veteran.' The
compositJr was SO agitated when .the
editor made Linn correct it, that lie
changed it to "a bottle scared yeter-
an. And still the veteran in question
was not satisfied. s. - p
The Permanent Friends is the
name of an Evansville society. The
are sworn to refrain from bor-
rowing money from each other.
'.Wife, do you know that have got
the pneumonia - New monia, indeed:
Such extravaganza! You're the most
spendthrifticst man | ever did see, to
60 and lay out money for such trash,
when I need new bonnet 80 much. P"
slow does that look, eh?" said q
bigfstel Wall street man to friend,
holding up one of his brawny hands.
THAT said the friend, 'looks as
though you'd gone short on soap
The grossest instance of humbug we
have met with for a long time is that
of an individual who advertises for sale
a Siberian bloodhound, which he calls
"A L." when every one possessing the
ordinary rudiments Of an English edu-
cation ought to know that the beast is
K9.
Jacob Weber, Of Ohio, aged So years,
has voted y times during his long life.
A good many men have bone better
than Jacob in one 365th Of one year.