Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-07-17
Should I Send Ny Boy to College?l
The Opinions of One of the Knowing
Ones ON the Subject.

Deacon Seethro Milestone is knowing man,
and often his views of matters and things are
quite original. Conversing with him, the other
day, relative to Strokes, our neighbors son, and
the Importance he attached to going to college,
and being a graduate of - university, the
deacon, who is an observing and excellent
farmer, along with his other gifts, gave utter
ance to his views something in this wise:
'John"-quoth the deacon, cooking his eye at
me in significant manner, eyer see 'tiSn't the
pastur as is the important thing so much as the
stock, nor does it matter much what hen yer
put the eggs under, but whether or no they
been't added. La, sakeS, now, what good
would it do to put that hammer-headed ceauw
of Jones' in the best pastur of creation, yer
couldn't make nothin' of her. A critter so full
of original sin as she is is with nothin' living,
and sure she'll be no better dyin', or when she
is in the becf-barrel. But take such brute as
that alderney of mine, Jessie,-why you may
put her anywheres, or feed her on chat, if yer
mind ter-it doesn't matter, she's bound to give
good creamy mess O. milk anyhow, and she'll
do it, mind you, she'll do it.
Don't hear our wimen folks a discussin'
abeaut settin the next hen, whether it shall be
the yaller hen or the black hen? What ninnies
they ar. If so be they they stays on the nest,
what consarn is it whether it's the yaller hen or
the black hen. 1t don't alter the eggs none. Eff
they be ducks eggs, they'll come out ducklings;
ef they be Shanghais', they'll come out Shang-
hais; and eff they be miserable mOngrels, neither
tbi
queen of Sheba'S best Dorking to hatch 'em
eaut, it wouldn't mend matters eny. So, John,
yer see, young Strokes there thinks it mighty
matter to go to college; but what eff he's got
no brains under those parfumed locks of hisn,
so ALFRED tailored up, do you believe --
university is agoin to give him eny, or is a-goin
TO make sweet milk whar all is bonny clabber?
Don't you believe no SIGH thing. It's the
stock, you depend ont, and nary bit the pas
tur, or eff the pastur has leetle sumthin to do
with it, it is precious little compared with the
stock. Now look a-here, John, do you see those
ere two fields of potatoesP 1--WE were talking
out O doors, sitting on the top rail of the cow
yard fence, where we could overlook a
considerable portion of the deacon's well.tilled
FARM ''Do you see those ere two fields of pota-
toes? There bent bit O. difference in the sile
they's CROWN in, but, goody gracious! isn't
thar difference in the tops. And now for WHY?
They's different stock, there's the whole secret
OF it,-theys different Stock Those yer in the
left hand piece is all bat run out, they'll never
do enything more to speak on YOU bet but
those yer off there in the right hand piece
you may plant any whar or no whar, in a dust
heap, or in pile of Saw-dust, and eff the sun
and air can get to 'em, CORY, won't they grow?
Use yer own eyes, and see eff they WON'T" land
here the deacon snapt his fingers, and in move
ment OF eXultation almost went over backwards y
THAT land" continued he pointing his Jack
knife at 1t wherewith he was whiting, "that
land over yonder is the old place whar they used
ter git out sand and gravel for the roads, both
pieces is alike, and both have had the same
manurn and hoein, and neaw, when ALPS done,
those efthand potatoes won't be wuth diggin
hardly, but the right hand ones win be the best
in the cellar. And when it comes TO blin
won't my old woman scold when she gets mess
NV those left handlers, and won't she walk off
mighty quick to the pigs pail with 'em,
and dump 'em in with a kind o. Jerk and
won't she say TO me kind o. spiteful, Deacon
Milestone, ] thought you knowd some
thin about farmin as well as about church mat
ters but, la sakes deacon, if them's the kind o.
.taters you're goin to raise, hadn't you better
abdercate in favor of Seethro, Jr? Don't see
her dom it-added he with chuckle-est as if
she was, this very minnit. To tell we the truth
I'm dom it to see if | can't convart her. We've
talked this matter over about the children, of
sendin to this school Or that school, and often
enough too; as to whether Seethro-he's the
eldest-should go TO this or that crack 'cademy,
or Polly-she's named after her maIm-be sent
of to this or tOther institooshun for larnin how
to do nothin in an Elegant and lady-ke fashion;
but goodness me! whars the use? when it
comes to havin yer tongue in good runnin order,
all lied up as Slick as grease, don't the wimen
lick us all holler2 and if they can't beat us one
way, won't they git round us, and hev the victory
in another? But the "logic of facts"-as our
parson says, when he wants to talk large, and
seem to know little more N other fOlks--the
logic OF facts thars no resistin. BY and by, when
we come to argur, can't pint to them lett hand
taters? can't say, Polly, whar's the use2 with
sich as them are what would eny sle or manurin
or h0ein do? but take them taters from the right
hand piece they don't need no doin to at ALI
they do for themselves, they 90 right along, to
come out strong whether You hinder or help.
Jes so, you depend ont, abeout boys and
gals, some yer can help, and some yer can't
help, and when yer can't whars the use 20
tryin2 Groom some horses as much as you
please they alters looks kind o rough, as if
every particular hair had set up shop for itself
and wouldn't hey nOthin TO do with the others
and then thair's other horses might 90 and
roll in the mud puddle, and come out, and
give themselves q shake or two, and you'd
never know whar they'd been. / tell you, friend
John, its the stock and not the pastur, the eggs
what hen laid EN- and not what hen sot on
'em"
so quoth the deacon. had often heard him
discourse in similar fashion, but never with such
junction. and impressveness as on this particular
occasion. confess TO rather inclining TO his
view. Once before, when talking on the same
topic, he quoted the adage, zone man may take
horse to water but dozen can't make him
drink Isn't the deacon's emnently practical
view one that ought to be taken oltener than it Is
Why force boy 10 college that does not desire
TO 60? Why force him TO stay against all the
headings Of his nature? and why entertain the
prominently foolish idea that ii, to quote the
deacon again, a boy hasn't got the root OF the
matter in him, any college in the land, or any
teacher, or body of teachers, is going TO put il
in him1 should like TO hear what others
would say, inquiring like PArERFAMILIAs.
Ike Bromley, one of the ablest and wittiest
editors in New England, has sold his interest in
the Hartford Post and Mr.. Jewell has purchased
an interest In the naner which will Yinnrnnslv