The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1872-11-01
Vexations Of a Front Yard.

VexatiOns of Front Yard.
BY BoGGs.
We have recently moved into a house
that has front yard. We have always
lived in houses whose front yard was
the street. Children will play in the
ward whether there is a street running
through it or not. After two or three of
them had barely escaped being run over
by the teams that insisted on running
through our front yard, wife said she
must rent house that hadn't any street
i'm it. So we did. But lordl the chill
dren don't make any account of it.
They are in the streets as much as ever,
accumulating their daily supply OF mar
row escapes.
Wife said the yard looked bare with
out shrubs and flowers and vines.
limited that a little grass would help it,
too. She asked me if knew where
could get some, and told her knew a
little grass widow on the next street, if
she would do. retreated, followed by
the rolling pin.
One morning as l was going away,
wife asked me to bring her a few
"annuals" when l came back. won
dered what she wanted of ANIMALS IS
rode down town in the street ear, olIt
am accustomed to n blind obedience to
her requests, so when / went home at
night | brought her some ANIMALS.
They were ''Dr. Jaynes' Annual AL
manac," remember, and ''rhe Odd
Fellows Annual Offering" and "New
Years Address" for 1852, and the "Birth
Day Giftn and numerous annual adj
dresses before agricultural associations
that had accumulated on my hands.
"GoOd graciousw exclaimed Mrs.
BOggs, (she never swears like that eX-
eept under great eXcitement), "what
have you brought me?p
"Annuals, Mrs. BOggs," saidI. "You
said you wanted some ANIMALS, and here
they are.n
Then, Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing
and cried, "What, you old fool you, I'VE
have been married twenty years, but
Mrs. b. calls me pet names yeti, the
l meant are flowers, such as
verbenas, pansies, daises, morning
glories, mignonette and the like, to set
in our front yard.n Then She took ali
the ANIMALS l had been at so much pains
to collect, and set them out in the back
yard among other rubbish.
The next morning she asked mo :.
thought l could get her some II
the front yard. Told her ; -oses '.l lol
who had got lot of earl anew man
but it wasn't the RI y rose potatoes,
setting them on. sht time year for
ground is M III have an idea that
ing a Do. ..ch better employed in rails
unie~ ..ato than in raising a flower
7 = it be a barrel of -four. Wife saio
hadn't bit OF taste. She then CAV,
me a memoranda of roses she wanted
/ was busy all day, but Just as i wa!
taking a car for home, l thought of th'
roses. referred to the memoranda, ant
found the following:
"Get few geraniums, fuchias, hello
trope, roses, bourbon, running rose
, Prairie Queen, golden tea plant, vines
, English Ivy, Wandering Jew, seeds
=. etc.D studied it hard, but it wa
slightly incomprehensible. She has
, evidently got things mixed up. How
ever, went to a florists and told hin
what | wanted. Said I-"Give me
few geraniums and few she's, and
"A few what ?n said the flower man
looking puzzled.
mA few she's,u said I, turning Yer,
red. know, for I couldn't tell for tn
life of me what my wife wanted fey
|. she's about the place for, as she neve
could live in the same house with an
other woman. AS the florist locke
more staggered than ever, / handed hin
the memoranda, when he bursted into
loud laugh.
. she wantsw and then he roared again
''Well, whatever it is, give me
! couple of yards of it, anyhow, front an
back yard too"
r You see I was mad.
, / got the things the memOrand
-, for al N
went home. "Here Mrs. BOggs,n sal
: / testify, "are the things for your iron
I yard"
"Why, what is this 81 she cried, as
thrust two-gallon jug upon her anon
! other things.
Bourbon, my dear. found it on th
memoranda. Pretty thing to set out i
the front yard, though. How long d
s'pose it'll stay there, with the neigh
, bors we've got ?"
"Boggs, you are an Internal; tina
, memorandum was Bourbon Rose
+ But what is this nasty little book :?
; holding up-a dime novel with a highl
, colored title page representing n gorge
Gus squaw on fiery and untamed mus
, tang.
ssrhat? Why, you ordered it didn'
! YOU? That is Running Rose; or th
/ Prairie Queen one of the Beadle's, yo
know" Ny wife carried it at arm:
length and threw it into the stove. The
, she took the jug of bourbon and emptied
: into the back gutter. While she wa
: gone | concealed Alexander Duma:
Q Wandering jew" which L had ais
> purchased, for began to see that ha
: made a terrible blunder in filling tina
, y 0r9er. l,Ir. have ascertained since tina
wandering Jew' is the name of
Sc au auihe' put how was l expected to knov
D ddy Night
u Good epigrams, like GOOD ioLas nov,
le lose their Youth. mi SI' Johe,Si hSN'