The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-01-04
Rough Humor In California,

Prom the sGn PrAbcisoo Chronicle.
Not far from San Jose lived an old lady
whose frugaiity has Verged 50 CLOSELY
upon parsimony that che had actually liz
reputation Of being misGrly. She has a
son, whose wild habits, dissolute way.
and propeuAity GoF playing practical iokes
will, some day, lead 10 the gAllOWs or 10
editing daily paper in San Jose. Next,
but by no means least, In the trio whose
names will bc passed down 70 history
through this receipt, is u worthy repre-.
sentative Of the ilOweTy kingdom named
All Skoot-thc latter very fond Of expert
ment. Now 10 the facts. Not long since
a party consisting Of bakers dozen of
San Jose ladies' visited the ranch where
the old ladYtby raising chickens, keeps
the wolf from the door, and drops an Oc.
Casional five cent piece into the deacon's
hat AS be takes up the weekly COntribu.
lions on Sunday The ladies belonged 10
the Sewing circle" and the old lady de.
termincd In the. iullness OF her heart 10
decapitate chicken, upon which thirteen
hungry Christians were to dine. All SkoOt
received his orders TO that effect, and i'm
medintely repaired TO the poultry yard
TO carry them into execution lthe orders,
not the poultry, How 70 catch chicken
In the daytime was now the diflCnlt
problem which exercised the brain Of the
Chinec About this time Jim, the old
lady's son, hove in sight, and TO All
SHOOTS interrogatiOns answered In this
wise fs"NOw locke here, SkOot, YOU lest
git some corn and III 90 aud gh the
gun, aud Ill tell you what 10 do then
The necessary articles were duly pro-
cured. The hopeful James had loaded
the gun plum up to the muzzle, and tell.
ing SkOot " throw down some corn,
about 200 chickens put in an appearance.
NOW the Chlnaman, us before stated, was
quite fond OF experiments, and reaching
Tor the gun, he took aim ct noble rOos.
ter, who, towering above the others in
the pride Of his youth aud rOOslerhOOd,
was entirely unsuSWciOus OF the coming
storm. II Is perhaps needless 10 state
that James Immediately cscOnced himself
behind II large. tree, out Of harms
way About this time u report which
wodld have done credit to u 2i.pound.
er, aroused the folks in the house, who
en- RIdsae, rushed out TO the scene Of the
slaughter. Al frst nothing was visible
but smoke and dust, next about two score
OF chickens were rising and falling, flop.
ping and sQuaking The ground was
strewn with the mangled remains Of about
forty more, while the remainder OF this
once interesting flock were making for
ncighbOring ranches, To ruvoil another
earthquake IInt what Of All -Skobt
Did that mass OF torn and dishevellcd rags
resemble the once festive youth whose
delight had once been TO experiment? 1t
was he The kind ladies approached him.
and tcnderly, oh, so tepderly, raised his
bead, They essaycd TO administer spirit.
bal consolation from an old black bottle
which the Old lady had produced. By
and-by the distorted features showed signs
Of animation, seeing which the old lady
said "Speall to me, skooty! Oh, speak
10 me!" John raised his head and gave
vent to the following "Speakee Wassy
matter speakee? More brandy, more
brandy Cd d-n, tooMuChy shOotym -
II is, perhaps, unnecessary to add that
John is now in quest of another situation