The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-05-12

munist Candidates I'm the Field.
That peculiar providence which controls
the comic destinies of mankind has been sim
gularly benefcent of Late To country
weary of war and its horrors, and barely recov-
ering from an acute attack of pathos of the
"just-b acknowledgements order, this
providence has struck the hard rock of politics
with its TESTERS wand, and 10 a fountain
of fun gushes forth which will tickle the ma
TONS jovial palate until somebody or other
is laughed into the Presidential chair. Colum-
bus nominated an old Illinois Judge who would
have afforded no sport, save to those who made
him acquainted with the s'bleeding" process.
Cincinnati came next in order, and it seemed
awhile as if old Dryasdust Davis would absorb
all the jocoseness, as the parched earth does
shower in July. At the last moment, how
ever, old Dryasdust being out of sight and q
yenerated but musty piece of parchment,
named Adams, apparently in the as
cendant the benign god of the cap
and bells took possession of the delegates, and
o great journalist farmer, abstruse philoso-
pher, common-sensist, protectionist, free
lover, centralizer, States-righter, loyalist and
rebel friend was nominated, with history and
personality ready made for the brains of the
wits, the efforts Of the witlings and tho pencil
of the widest caricaturist that ever evoked
sportiveness in o charivari. Filled with
jocular presentiment we chuckled over the
prospect, but had no idea at the time what
the buffoon divinity had in store for us.
Woman's rights has had its convention here
in this goodly city Of ours, and has turned out
its Presidential candidates. The six hundred
cotton umbrellas which have ratified on the
floor of Apollo Hall for the past two days
assure us that this woman movement is a
serious thing and, while we do not wish to be-
little anything so intimately woven with the
future Of the human race, we wish to
enjoy its incidents to the full extent 1t has
also presented us with platform which, they
must pardon us, we neither mean to reprint
or discuss, because, although absurd, Uto-
plan and red republican to a degree, it is
neither new nor funny. But to the candidates
we can return with that relish for amusement
which is inexhaustible. The first place on it's
ticket is devoted place a,lr danes y to the fair
sex, and, to make the contrast more forcible,
the second fiddle is handed, to draw it mildly,
expressed in the Convention as to whether the
venerable and colored Fred Douglass could
stand on the platform beside the young and
painted creature in petticoats; but the cotton
umbrellas, male and female, wanted him, and
it twas accordingly decided nolens volens, to have
him. 1t may be objected that Victoria Wood
hull had long ago nominated herself for the
Presidency, and her endorsement for the can
didature might be considered as o ''put-up
job; !" but with regard to the Vice Pres
ident, expectant or desired, the case is
different. There can be little doubt that the
position has been thrust upon him, and it
remains to be seen how the representative
black man will act under the circumstances
He has lately made several very strong Grant
speeches, and in face of this fact it would be q
policy questionable in point Of honor to intro
duce split into the party by taking the
stump, as he undoubtedly would be forced to
do against the regular republican candidate,
thereby dividing the colored vote. It would
not, therefore, astonish us that Mr.. Douglass
should decline to run with Mrs. Woodruff, and
resolve quietly to abide by the straight repub-
lican nomination at Philadelphia
Turning, then, from the serious view of the
case to its comic point, namely the rivalry
for the popular suffrage between Mrs. Wood
hull and Horace Greeley, we are sure that the
canvass will develop many funny comparisons
between the free-love theory and practice
of one and the other. The shrieking
sisterhood are not at all unanimous
on the matter, for there is division in their
ranks which the late nomination will doubt
less tend to widen. The Woodhullites may be
described as the votaries Of Venus victrix,
the chaste Susannah who disappointed the
elders, and the hermit-cenobite, st. Anthony,
who was impervious to all feshly temptation,
In view of this breach between the woman
suffragists, and the fact that both the An
thonyites and Woodhullites regard the Sage Of
Chappaqua with no friendly feelings, some
sharp skirmishing is in prospect for, as Susie
said on Friday at Steinway Hall, 'Horace
Greeley has for many years past thrown cold
water and ridicule upon the movement" But
the great philosopher has succeeded so we'll in
winning the most diverse interests to his sup
port that there is still q possibility he will in
future swallow oil the cold water he has been
in the ungallant habit of throwing upon the
ladies' The slater Franklin may like the
older Horace, who believed in generous Faler-
MAN wine, fatter both at the same time, as
when that crafty ancient sung
Omatre pulchre! fila pulchrior
II is also possible, Notwithstanding their
present hostile front to Mr.. Greeley, that each
of the syrens will try to WOO him to his de-
struction. His position between them will
then be fearful to contemplate. We can pic
A.. TT Il IL r g.