The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-09-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

4 AhE sn1ucS 9i HAklb- AGAOetS
MINISTERS Of the @nterior country
Clergy.
A THING sometimes Il brought to pas" "-
a counterfeit note
GREASE spots may be removed from silk
by pair Of scissors.
LAWYERS are like ivy because the great
or the ruin the closer they cling.
MANY young men are 50 improvident
that they cannot keep anything but late
hours.
A NOTICE over the sleeping-car Office in
Atlanta reads Births can be secured
here"
QUEEN Elizabeth always displays her
worst temper in her best clothes. She was
dreadfully rutfied then.
A MUSICAL genius Of this city is 50 full Of
quavers that he always makes stop"
when he comes To bar.
"WHAr are you doing ?" said father
to his son, who was tinkering an old watch.
Improving my time, sir.
A WEATHER prophet predicts &" a hot
summer, because the bark on the north
side of dogs il much thinner than usual.
H. G. Is vegetarian Being asked
what would restore faded moustache 70 its
original color, he briefly responded,
''Diet"
"A YOUNG man generally gives a lock Of
his hair To his sweetheart before he marries
her After marriage she generally helps
herself
THE question Of where all the Smiths
come from is answered. A factory in
neighboring city bears the sign, II Smith
Manufacturing Company.
A COUNTRY newspaper criticzes the ten
~ of troupe Of strolling singers with the
remark that his song, My Pretty Jane,
would warp bass-wood rail.
"A LITTLE girl, after noticing for some
time the glittering gold stopping in her
aunts front teeth, exclaimed, Nj Aunt
Mary, | wish I had copper-toed teeth like
yours.
A SMALL Georgian was petltionlng for
our daily bread previous to retiring,
when he was interrupted by a younger
brother, who whispered, MI Ask for cake,
Johnny, ask for cake.
CONNECTICUT should be credited with the
LATEST fisherman The individual il a
Fifteenth Amendment" who ties his
fish line to his dog, and when he gets a
bite kicks his dog.
SCHooLMIsTREss Ito dull little boy,
" Johnny, I'm asham ID Of you When |
was your age | could read twice as well IA
you can" Johnny, GO es'm; but you had
a different teacher from what | got.
JOSH Billings says 'Thare I'D one
thing about hen that looks like wizdom
they don't kackel much until afteAthey
hev laid their eg. Sum pholks are alwuz
a Dragging and kackling what they are
goin tew do beforehand.
"A MISSOURI journalist having asserted
that Louisville scribe had Just discovered
that he could wag his left ear, the latter
retorts that the Missouri man has his aural
sppendages under such control as to be
able to fan himself with them.
AN Indiana woman, Just divorced, has
written letter Of advice TO her sex, in
which, -she says " | would say to young
girls not to marry young, and when you
are married live at least fifty miles from
your husbands relatives"
Howard GLYNDoN asks a terrible ques-
ton. She wants to know if any one ever
imagined what sort az a sight would be
presented by an interior view Of the SIX
hundred private rooms of a fashionable
watering place hotel half an hour before
dinner or hops.
g WISH you to make for our church, :"
said an Episcopal vestryman, one morning
to a neighboring carpenter, two new
commandment boards. We want them Of
free, sound timber, with III Knots III them, z"
YOU'D better-take some Of the kHOts
| ont IS ho a, tb.r, -a..l..I
the carpenter I" | never saw command
ment board yet that wasn't titll Of them"
Well, my little man, what are you 60
ing to do for living when you grow up N
inquired a gentleman Of little boy, the
other day. ''Oh, am going 10 BE- law
yer" was the reply, III believe, /
wouldn't be a lawyer, if J we're in your
place, said the gentleman, Yes, my
father is lawyer aud intend To be one,
too, returned the httle follow, adding in
confidential whisper, If you are a law
yer the policeman cant take you up
o'nights."
AN Irishman took contract w dig
public well. When he had dug about
twenty-five feet down he came one morn
ing and found it had fallen ln-hlled
nearly to the top Pat looked cautiously
around and saw that no person was near,
then took off his hat and coat hung them
on windlass, craWled into some bushes
and waited events. In short time the
neighbors discovered that the well had
fallen in, and seeing Pats hat and coat on
the windlass, they supposed that he WAS at
the bottom of the excavation. "A few
hours Of brisk digging cleared the loose
earth from the we'll. just As the excava-
tors had reached the bottom, ana were
wondering where the body was, Pat came
walking out Of the bushes and good
naturedly thanked the workers fur ruliev-
ing him Of a sorry job. Some II the
tired diggers were disgusted, but the Joke
was too good To allow ~ anything more
than a laugh which soon followed