davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

A modest young lady at Des Moines,
desiring the leg of chicken, said !:
Il take the part which ought to be
dressed In drawers A young gentle
man opposite replied: "I'll take the
part which ought to wear the hustle. I"
The young lady tainted and was car
ried out on a salver.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

A cat in Little Rock, Ark, lately re-
fused to allow little girl TO play with
her kittens. The child shut the cat
up in the stove oven, and when the
fire was kindied the people looked
down cellar and up stairs, aud down
the chimney to find out where the cat
was aud what allied her. They knew
all about it when the cook put the din
ner IN the oven.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
MILLER HOUSE.

sstanwood, Iowa.
i spare no pains to make his guests COM
Portable; and in doing so hopes to merit the
custom of the public generally. Hacks
leave this house daily Sundays excepted
for Upton. and return. Also, in connection
will be found good Livery. Home custom
and farmers viii be furnished meals at re-
duced rates.
i2tf H. H. MILLER. Proprietor.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Fireside Games.

I Here are some helps to innocent
amusements:
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, WHERE DO YOU
LIKE IT, AND WHERE WILL YOU
rUT 1T?
One of the players goes out OF the
room and the rest fix upon two words
which sound alike, but have different
meanings. As belle. bell; pear, pair !;
hair, bare; |, eye, etc. When sne
comes in she asks each one In turn,
"How do you like il ~ and they give
answers corresponding to whichever
meaning they please; then she asks
"Where do you like il ?'' aud they
answer in the same way; and, lastly.
"Where will you put it?" and from
the answers she tries to guess the
word.
FoRFEtrs
There are so many games requiring
forfeits that children are sometimes
puzzled to think of them quick enough.
We give few which may help them
sometimes:
Keep one hand on your forehead,
and at the same time strike the other
on your breast without changing the
motion of either for a moment.
Let the Judge give out a line with
which you must make another line to
rhyme.
Laugh, sing, cry, whistle.
Count fifty without saying seven.
This can be done by saying six, next
number TO six &c.
Answer five questions without say
ing yes or no"
Admire yourself In mirror.
Personate some distinguished indi-
vidual and answer six questions in his
character.
Raise and fall the eight notes, using
the syllable cha" instead of do, re,
mi" &c.
Mention three remarkable persons
named Elizabeth.
Mention three remarkable persons
named Daniel.
Go around the room and say to each
person what you think will please him
most.
Spell any word proposed b. the
other players without smiling.
Give the part Of an old bachelor to q
little boy. Let him sit in the middle
of a room and pretend to mend stock
ing or coat Occasionally he must
sigh and say, ''Oh, The miseries of an
old bachelor!h
Place IA lighta,! candle on table;
then blindfpla the person, let him
walk three PAGES from it, turn around
three times, walk forward and blow 1t
out. which he will find very difficult
to do.
The Judge may put up the person at
auction; describing him; when he is
satisfied with the price the forfeit is
redeemed.
Sing song, or repeat some high
flown poetry.
Leave the room and return in some
new character that shall Oe assISueu.
To redeem double forfeit, let the
two players upon opposite sides OF the
room be blindfolded and meet and
shake hands.
Make speech in pantomime.
Ask person what animal he likes
best, and then require him to initiate
it.
Count twenty backwards.
Give an imitation of performing on
any musical instrument.
Say five fiattering things to the one
who sits next to you.
Stand with your heels aud back close
to the wall, and stoop without moving
your feet and pick up the forfeit from
sh4 Hoor.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

A" medium" in London was caught
up by spirits, carried half mile, and
taken through wall into a dining
room. She says she can hardly credit
what happened. Neither can the
public.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
THE KIS.
ny CHARLIE sIsLEY

Upon ane stormy SUNDAY.
Coming adoon the Lana.
Were q score OF b0nny l,eses.-
And the sweetest, I maintain
Was Caddle,
That took unneath mypladdie
To shield her from the ain,
II.
She said that the daisiesblushed
For the kiss that I hadta'en.
wadna hae thought thelassie
Wad sac ofa kiss cOmpain.
"Now, laddie!
l Iwinna stay under yourpladdie,
I'll gang hame In the r.in.'
But on an after Sunday.
When cloud there was lot ane.
This self-same winsome assie-
We chance to meet In ne lane
Said: I.addie.
Why dinna ye wear YOU pladdie.
Wha kens but 1t may minv'
-GGiaxl
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Tricks Of Des Moines Telegraph
Operators.

We find the following good one in
late number Of the Des Moines Daily
Leader.
Telegraphy il a fine art, and one re
quiring quick ear and ready hand to
understand it thoroughly. 1t is said
that the electric message can be read
by the different senses. by sight. hear
ing, taste and feeling. However this
may he, operators are generally jolly
good class of fellows. and enjoy their
own jokes in the profession.
In a certain boarding house in this
city boards an operator who is EMPLOY.
ed at the - Office, aud another young
gentleman who though never employ.
ed in an Office is fine amateur opera
tor. These two gents have habit of,
when at meals, taking their forks and
ticking off on their plates short mes
sages to one another which of course
are not understood by any Of the other
boarders. One of them sits next to the
landlady, aud sometimes he will take
up his fork and tick offa message thus:
Don't the old girl look blooming
this morning, but cuss this hash!'
The amateur will then reply, 1.-THE
old girl is rather festive this morning.
How's your butter? l can't eat mine
unless hold my nose"
Then will follow remarks on the
other boarders like this
g Don't Miss NJ. try to put on style?
Extra lot Of powder and rouge this
morning."
Amateur" Yes. and sec tha. old
cock J. ID. Arn't he salubrious? fl
had that frizzly mustache of his |
could pass for Count Bismarck.
And so it went on day after day, and
| no one suspecting.
The other day there came two new
boarders to the house. They We're
married couple, the husband tall,
athletic six footer, and the lady a glo
rious little bloade. The two telegraph
ers first saw them at supper. The
meal was about half through when
fork ticking commenced. The pro
fessional operator first tapped off the
following question:
Isn't that splendid creature by
you, change seats with me TO NOR
row.
Amateur" Shan't do it. Amt
she sweet though, wouldn't like to
give her just one hug?'
The athletic stranger never looked
up from his plate, but ii our two wor.
/ thies had cared to observe closely, they
might have observed dark fru~n or
his features. The lady sat demurely
by but never dreaming Of the ticking
conversation concerning her, going on
across the table.
The professional meanwhile ticaed
OFF, "Give her u squeeze once for luck;
nudge the little beauty under the table
for me-
The amateur was just taking up his
fork to reply, and how interesting the
conversation would have become, we
cas- not say oul ilhaSiuS eho oo"'sS'
natioa of the two gents when the
stranger seized his fork and tapped off
the following:
"You scoundrels, this lady is my
wife, and after supper ! propose to
wiring both your necks.'
The telegraphic gentlemen soon af.
| Tor loft tho table looking rather crest
fallen. The stranger. it seems IL an
operator and knew "how the whole
thing worked" The operators have
informed the landlady that they were
tired of boarding houses, and as the
new couple was there to-day they have
sought other quarters.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

Tho waapias willow has q romantic
history. The first scion Was sent from
smyrna in box of figs to Alexander
Pope. General Clinton brought q
shoot from ropes tree to America, in
the time ofthe Revolution, which,
passing into the hands of John Parke
Custis, was planted on his estate in
Virginia, thus becoming the progenitor
of the weeping willow in this coun-
try
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
OUR UTAHLErrxn.

Spring-The Legislaturs-Consti-
tutional Convention-The Polit-
ical Parties-Bill Hickman's
Book-Mrs. Stenhouse and Her
Book-Brigham Young, &C.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

A Gate City lawyer included IN his
bill against his client: " To waking
up In the night and thinking about
your case, Ave dollars"
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
lM1NHOOD:
How Lost, How Restored,

Just published. n new edition OF
AAxkA OR. cULvERWELL'S CELEBRATED
ExA ESSAY on the radical cure with
Z out medicine) )ofSpermatorrhona of
or Seminal Weakness, Involuntary seminal
Losses, Impotency Mental and Physical IN.
also. Consumption, Epilepsy, and Fits. In
duced by self-indulgence or sexual exArav-
agance.
aSrPricc. In n sealed envelope. only ces;
The celebrated author, in this admirable
essay, clearly demonstrates from thirty
years successful practice, mt the alarming
consequences Of self-abuse may be radically
cured without the dangerous use OF Internal
medicine or the application of the knife;
pojntinR out mode o5 cure at once siIaple,
certain, and effectual, by nseans OF which
every sufferer, no matter VIII at his condfsA0n
may be. may cure himself cireaply. privA1e-
ly, and radically.
a1-This Lecture should be In the hands 0i
every youth and every man In the land.
Sent, under seal, In platn. envelope 20
any address, postpaid on receipt OF SIX cents,
or two postage stamps. ;,
price 25 cents.
Address the Pubiis1hssrs,t 4 2. ,trrNr i eRmnl m
IL KOXerY. New York, POst-OMce BOX 4,900
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Conveyancer.
ABE ADLER.

nFFItE VITA County Treasurer, Upton
- Cedar County. Iowa VIII pay taxes
f5f notI-re<.depts, examine land tides, fur
nish abstracts, &C.
flefer, to j. " Bail, Atty; Jesse James,
60 Recorder: T.G. MetIelIaad. 60. Treasurer;
fIaRmallI q Pound. Blnkers. Y
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

In England it is not permitted to
marry after twelve o'clock in the
day.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11

ErsTICE OF THE PEACE. Collections,
81 and other business. promptly attended
to.-Gflice in west end Of fCulbertson6s corner
building.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
POST HOUSE.

Rf +. +. POST, CLARENCE, IOWA. A
ID new Hotel throughout convenient to
to the comfort, convenience and satisfaction
of customers. yl7nl2
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
FLEMING HOUSE.

North of the Conrt Square,
TIPToN. IOWA.
THIS POPULAR HOTEL.
enlarged and thoroughly refitted and
re-furnished, offers the best of accommodate
tons TO boarders and the travelling public
Money or pains will not he spared TO make
the entertainment AT this house first class.
Good Stabling on the Premises.
All persons desiring conveyance to Da-
Nenport Wilton or StanwOod, can procure
seats in the Hacks by leaving their names
at the Fleming House.
MRS. c. FLEMING, Proprietress.
"A. 4. FLEMING. Clerk. 2SmO
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
.E0gsS =. TgrTEREs.H.,
O. w. PORTER

JUSTICE or THE PEACE, NOTARY PuB-
* re Insurance Agent, and Gonyeyancer.
Office With the County Clerk in the court
house. Upton, Iowa, Jan. lst ls6s. nlvl5.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
BRICKER'S
CHINESE
CEMEN T!
The MOST Powerful Cement in
Existence, Discovered by
NJ. e. BRlCkER,
At Great Expense, after Five
Years. Careful Experimenting.

The CHINESE CEMENT is needed in
every household. This is truth beyond a
doubt, sul,stantiated by thousands who have
given 1t a fair trial for the last three years.
One box in many eases will mend one hun
dred dollars worth OF articles, such as Chairs.
Lamps. Chimneys, Glass dishes. Iron orna-
ments, Boots and Shoes, Pipes, and other
articles too numerous to mention.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
4. Hs. sTAERETT
Justices.

II - fitted Zip an office IN the CITY Drug
Ill store building where he will continue
TO buy Negotiable Notes occasionally.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Physicians.
= 15l--l175- ---5175
Esr. .EE. IA. 3ESsStssD

auYefffAN AND SURGEON I. 4. TX =
aminer Of Pensioners. TIFIo%. Iowa.
nsee &a4 Residence opposite tne Miller
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Attorneys.
vi, yrclsJ-GEygIN

A TT0RNE,I AT LAWkand General Collcc-
~ iian Agent. VIII give prompt atten-
tion - all business entrusted to him.
Clarence. Iowa. s3
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
Burlington, Cedar Rapids &
Minnesota R'y.

On and AFTER January I'D Is72 Passenger trains on
this line Will follows.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-04-11
JAMES sCaMMON,
KIRK. II. W. s
EAEssiA d &EiRR.

4 TToRSEY Il COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
n Meehaniesvile. Iowa. Il
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11
FRIGHTENING N0RTH CARClINA.

The Era, published at Raleigh, NC, rerews
its th,eats of retaliation and resistance in case
Judge Merrimon persist i'll his purpose to con-
test che return of Caldwell as Governor of
North Carolina. "Suppose it should turn out"
SAYS this paper that Caldwell contests the
Legislature on the ground that 1t Is not
"lqaally constituted Legislature-not having
the requisite number of members-aod that
the apportioment under which the late cleo
tion was held was premature, and so uncon-
stitutional and wholly unauthorized p and
threat Is held out that the Governor may de-
clare all the seats vacant and issue MS proc
lamation for new election.
This is nothing but browbeating. II 1t were
possible for the Governor to dissolve the Leg
islature. or to resist by fOrco of arms, as The
Era proposed that he should, a constitutional
decision by the Legislature that he was not
duly elected, We have no doubt the Admins
tration managers would insist upon his dong 1t.
But il is not possible. The American people
would rebuke such an outrageous usurpation
in language net to be mistaken, and the North
Carolina Grant party knows it very WELL lhe
truth is the people of the State have been so
much oppressed by carpet-bag and Dayonet
rule that they dread more than anything else
the interference of the Federal Government.
They will suffer injustice rather than provoke
a collision. Hence the effort of the Caldwell
party to persuade them that if the Legislature
award the election to Merrmon, Caldwell will
resist and will have the help of troops from
Washington. Rather than incur that danger
they hope the Democrats and Liberals will
submit to the powers that be.
We do not believe this intimidation will be
successful Caldwell will not resist, and the
question whether he has been honestly elected
will have a fair trial before the Legislature
If the decision be against him he will have tc
get out
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11
THE .IONESGRAyT LAND CASE.

The NeD- York Times has some little sense OF
shame after all. 1t docs not Of coarse, accept
in the most Christian spirit our admOmtions
in regard to the exceeding indecency of pro-
nosing bet on the Presidents honesty. But
ita very fury and fractiousness show that the
lesson was not wholly lost. After it has fin
ished screaming and cursing TIE TRIBUNE, it
would do we'll to lose nc time in printing She
nroofs it pretends to holO in reserve IN Tela-
tim TO the JOnes-Grant land operation. In
ease it has forgotten, or never knew, Just What
is alleged, we reprint aD article rom me
Chjc0go Tribune which shows how pressing Is
the need of the promised explanation. We
hone The Times does not mean to delay it until
ofnr the election. A mere denial will not
serve. For the reputation OF Ihe chicago
Tribune for truth and vevacity is better than
that of The Nev- York IimS.
Let us in the bTefest possible manner re
state the case. 1t is alleged that Mr.. Jones
bought tract Of land from the Trustee OF
the Swedish Colony, at a suspiciously low
price. He conveyed a portion of it to Presi
dent Grant on the Goth of May, 1863, for .
triaing consideration. and was Immediately
after appointed Minister to Belgium. The
deed to President Grant, for the consideration
Of one dollar, IS declared TO be now on receEd
in the proper Office In Chicago. Every
thing beyond these facts Is Inference, founded
On the well-knOwn acquisitiveness Sf one of
the parties ana the notorious unftness of the
other for diplomatic position. The Presi-
dents organs pretend that they haHe IN ex-
planation of the circumstances ready. but are
,U;thboldinO Il for Il bet. We do not think
this is wise OF seemly.
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11
mauER ~ POLITICS.

All the money ever spent in former Presi-
dential elections did not equal in amount the
sums now poured out to reelcct President
Grant. ave shall beat you, for we have got
the money to do it WITH is a standing boast
Of the workers on that side. That all the
wealth of the country is on their side, is con-
tinnally, though untruly, vaunted in leading
Grant journals. Acting on the assumption
that "every man has his price," the managers
of Grants canvass are arranging to buy their
way through. They have assessed the 6O,OOO
Federal ofice-hOlders an average of $40 each,
making total of $2,4OO,OOO, and they hold
that nothing can stand against their carloads
of money.
The great Railroad Rings" which have been
enriched by Federal subsidies and land grants
are all bleeding and sweating in the Grant
interest One of them carried Oregon for
Grant last June with an eye to the return oi
his Acknowledgement to the United States
Senate. Two other such "came down" hand-
somely in aid of the Grant ticket in the late
North Carolina election. The engineers OF the
Credit Mobilier" viii Of course subscribe
heavily to keep their dOings cloaked rom
public scrutiny by keeping their flenus III
power. Thus the money cOycrtly taken lIohi
the People is and will be employed 10 S'a'c
off investigation into the gainiul mlqulueS oI
the mast. and so pave the way for their 1aclle
rcnctition in the future. But why should
wealthy citizens aid the TwO-Term managers
with money? They have already pounds TO
disburse on their side to pence on ours UH'
ofice-holders dare not resist their exacuonS'
and these supply them far beyond any legitimate
outlay. Why should not these sullce them
The One-Term principle is stril,inSly vindl-
Gated by every days experience. -Four years ago
the President IN Office was not candidate lOr
reelection. and the Federal ofice-holder5 were
"a free to obey their convictions as other
citizens. They subscribed to help elect Grant
or Seymour. or they subscribed to help elect
neither. as they seyerally chose. Now they
must contribute to the Grant canvass or they
are bound to lose their places. And this re-
futes the sophistical assertion that Ofice-hoid-
ers will be taxed whether Presidents are Oh
are not candidates for reelection.
The Liberals are trying to bring the
whole American people once more into ira
ternal and kindly relations. They hold II
bicb time that prescription and denunclatlon,
hatred and bitterness, because Of civil war
that ended seven or eight years ago, should alb
solutoIy cease. 1t is the interest of every busi-
ness man, every property-hOlder, every one
who lives by honest industry, that the Liberal
movement should prevail. Cur country should
cease to. he camp cchoing to the fierce
cries of battle and tie exulting shouts Of con-
ouerors. How can commerce, how can manu-
factures afford to have it otherwise
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11
now THE CUSTOM-HOUSE HIS BEEN
REFORMED,

HOW THE CUSTOM-HOUSE H1S BEEN
REFORMED,
While Mr Curtis has been going about the
country, telling rustic audiences how President
Grant has reformed the Civil Service, made
beautiful new rules for appointments, stopped
the bad practice of assessments upon the sal
aries of clerks and tide-waitets, taken honesty
and efficiency as the sole titles to official favor
forbidden the payment Of political service with
patronage, and held every officer strictly to
his duty,-the Civil Service rules have been az
together suspended, the official AK has been
worked harder than ever in decapitating the
disaffected, assessments have been collected
with unusual rigor, appointments and removals
of a particularly scandalous character have
been frequent, Mr.. Postmaster Edmunds has
broken the postal laws at least two or three
hundred thousand times, and exposed himself,
in the Presidents service, to more terms of
Imprisonment for forging franks than he
could serve out in the rest of this and
the whole of the next century, and
tho Administration generally has been
giving the lie to everything that Mr.. Curtis
has said So too while Mr.. Conklng has been
denouncing the depraved Senators who thought
there was something wrong about the New
York Custom house, and threatening ruin to
everybody who doubted that Mr.. Tom Murphy
was the best of Collectors, the old schemes of
fraud, the dirty little tricks of theft, have
been daily enacted in that institution as Of
old and the Custom house itself LAS destroyed
the labOrs of its own defenders
We published the other day letter from
an English gentleman describing his experience
on landing last month at this port, and it was
evident from his testimony that, whatever cam
paign orators may say, there is at least
one class of abuses in which no reform has
been made whatever. 1t was shown before
the Investigating Committee that steamship
owners are practically unable to discharge
thor vessels without the payment o. illegal
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11
@Ceb).31otII Daily GribmarG.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER II. 1872.

II Is reported that the Geneva Tribunal will award
g. 250OO1 damage to the United states. = Spanish
g. neral narrowly escaped capture in Cuba. =- Gen.
shcnck expected to return to London yesterday.
The Gran! majority in Maine, 1t is believed, will be
about as was at trst estimated. =- Capt. Hull and
others testified in the Mss investigation. -EA Chicago
murderer was tried and convicted in twenty minutes.
4 committee appointed by the Louisville Convention
officially informed Nh O'Couor Of his nomination. hut he
refused TO commit himself. == Great preparations are
making for Inc Liberal mass meeting. = The Hon. 5.
:. Cox addressed the NJ. T. Brennan Association. ==
The Hon. ]. Daggett Hunt mado a speech at Liberal
meeting in N"w-Jersey. == The cost Of lcvelng the
Aqueduc' is estimated at S2o)oOoO = Gold, 1i5} ll2g
49, IAermomeier. 10 70. g.
New-York tribune., 1872-09-11

Attention should be called to the manifest
insuficiency of the laws of the United States
for the protection of immigrants, as shown IN
the case of the passengers by the ship Charles
II. Marshall. Most of these passengers were OF
the Jewish faith, and they were shametully
persecuted by the crew, their lives endangered
and their persons assaulted. Brought before
the United States Commissioner, the brutal
crew escape punishment because the statutes
oe the United States do not cover the ohense.
II should be said that the owners of the lmml-
grant ship showed commendable willingness to
do what they could to compensate the passengers
for their sHfferings; but the fact is brought
out that the ship was not responsible IN a civil
suit, any more than the crew were crimlnany
held in the premises. We have stringent laws
relating TO the safety and sanitary condition
OF immigrant passengers on shipboard; 1tnoW
seems necessary that they should also be pro-
tected against the brutality of shipmasters and