Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-06-13
Varieties.

WHY should sailor know there is
a man in the moon +? Because he has
beer to sea.
WHETHER a woman should "benoan
her lot or not depends entirely ON its
location and size.
A CALIFORNIA man was thrown ont of
bed by the earthquake. He doesn't
consider it fair shake.
tHE best way to use the maidstone 40
as to fend eff hydrophobia is to throw II
with great violence at the dog before he
bites you.
SINISTER, where are you going with
that hsrse ?" asked a gentleman of a
suspicious looking man whom he met
on horseback. "Well, l hain't going
anywhere with him." said the other,
but he is going somewhere with me-"
Pray bestow your charity, young
gentleman, on poor blind man." said
oeggar to person passing by. "If
you are blind, my good fellow, how did
you know that | was young?n ooh,
sir, made a mistake" said the beggar
pray, give trife to poor dumb
man !"
A MAN sold farm few days since as
perfectly level" The buyer went to
look at it, and found q mountain on it,
p" But, SAID the man, the land will be
perfectly level-after you take the hill
away; | sell you the level land under
meath and throw in the mountain
A KENTUCKY entomologist has kept
two vigorous mosquitoes under an in
verified tumbler for six months without
food, and they remain in healthy con-
ditlon. This clearly proves that their
annoyance of mankind is entirely I'M
called for, and not at all necessary for
their subsistence.
In recent debate, a member of the
California Legislature exclaimed "The
honorable gentleman from Calaveras
county is undoubtedly a person of great
Abilities man of talent-a natural
born genius; but there is one thing l
defy him to do, and that is, to bite the
bottom out of a frying-pan without
shutting his nose."
THIS is Rochester receipt for making
soup: Take pail Of water and wash
it clean. Then boil it till it is brown on
both sides. Pour in one bean. When
the bean begins to worry, prepare to
simmer. If soup won't simmer its too
rich. Pour in more water. Dry the
water with towel before you put it in.
The dryer the water the sooner it
browns. Simmer the soup until the
bean bursts laughing. Then add some
water and serve hot at twenty five cents
bowl.
A TEXAN tells this story of lost oppor-
tunities: Now, you see," said he,
land was cheap enough at one time in
Texas. | have seen the day when 1
could nave bought square league of
land, covered with fine grass and tim
Der, for pair of boots" "And why
didn't you buy it ?'' asked his compan-
ion. Didn't have the boots,' said the
Texan.
AN intelligent graduate of Massa-
chusetts school told the examiner that
" Esop was the author of Latin fables
covered with hair, and sold his birth
right for mess of potash"
A MAN equipped with saw, an axe,
and bucket, leaped from moving
imagination of the Bangor Wing re-
porter depicted him as revolving
through the air with the aforesaid i'm
plements sailing around him like the
moons around Jupiter"
A GENTLEMAN, while making a speech
in Lawrence, Mass, the other evening,
inadvertently stepped forward and off
the platform. To the peals of laughter
that greeted his unlucky fall, he claimed
that any speaker had right " to come
down to the level of his audience"
A YOUNG lady seeking situation was
interested in an advertisement for some
one to do light housekeeping. So she
wrote to the advertiser asking where
the lighthouse was, and if there was any
way of getting to shore on Sunday.
In one of the suburban schools of
Dover, n. H., the committee man put
out the word "psalter to class in
spelling. 1t was a poser to all till it
reached the foot of the class, when a
curly headed little fellow spelled it cor
rectly, and being asked to define it,
shouted out, more SALT
I" PETER, what are you doing to that
boy ~ said schoolmaster. " He wanted
to know if you take 10 from II how
many will remain; so | took ten of his
apples to show him, and now he wants
me to give 'em back" "Well, why
don't you do it?'' .1Coz, sir, he would
forget how many is left"
TEE pun fend is again on the war
path. Here is his latest effort: "Why
is an egg produced last month like a
native of Malacca? Because it is a
May-lay"
AN old topper was brought before the
Omaha Police Court few days since to
answer to the charge of drunkenness,
and pleaded the constitutional provision
that he ought not to be tried twice for
the same offense, asking the Judge if
| there wasn't something of that kind in
| the law. The Judge said there was.
Them" said the inebriate, eff you'll
| send down to Lincoln and hrinn Gov