The Lincoln County herald., 1872-11-20
The New Depaviuea: il "The
Morning. Slsry."
BY MAX ADELER.

observed the disposition of persons who
have been bereaved of their relatives to
give expression to their feelings in poeti
cal form, reflected that it might perhaps
Be o good thing to introduce to his paper
department of obituary poetry. lie
considered whether if, when an individual
inserted Fifty cents worth Of death notices,
the establishment should consider gratu,,
ously half dollars worth of mortality
s.auzas, his paper would not at once be
come the most popular vehicle FOR the
conveyance Of that peculiar form Of mel
ancholy intelligence to the public. And
Mr. Brimmor rightly estimated that, as
most newspaper readers seem to take a
deeper interest in such sepulchral news
than in information of any other kind
the journal containing the largest supply
would have the greatest number of sub
scribers.
So Mr.. Brimmer determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate, en-
gage an obituary poet fc- short time,
with the purpose Of giving him perma
neut employment if the plan seemed to
take with the public. Accordingly he
sent for Mr.. Remington OFT, u censtruc
tor Of verses, who had frequently con
tributed to the columns Of the Morning
Glory poems Of what would have been
considered by a fastidlous student OF
English literature an appalling and revo
lutionary character.
Mr. Brimmsr soon effected an engage
ment with the bard, by which it was
agreed that Mr.. OFT should take posi-
ton in the Office for short time, and
whenever a death notice arrived be
should Immediately endeavor to grind
out some verses expressive Of the situa.
tion
You understand, Mr.. Ott,' explained
Brimmcr, "that when the death of an
individual is announced, want you, as
it were, to cheer the afflicted family with
the resources of your noble art. wish
you to throw yourself, you may say, into
their situation, and to give them a verse
or two about the corpse which will seem
to be the expression Of the emotion Of
the living"
"To tighten the gloom, ia a certain
sense, suppose p said Mr.. OF.
"PreciseIy! Tighten the gloom. Dc
not mourn over the departed; but rather
take a joyous view of death, which after
all, MIR. OFT, is, as it we're, but the en-
trance to better life. Therefore, l viii
advise you to touch the heart strings OF
the afflicted with tender hand. and en-
deavor for instance, to divert their mind,
from contemplation Of the horrors of the
tomb"
"I'll throw off stanzas," said Mr.. OFT
"in such manner that people will wan,
their friends to die for the sake Of the
poetry
But, above all" continued the editor
take bright view of the matter always
Make the sunshine of smiles, as it were
burst through the tempest Of tears {; and
If it don't make the Morning Glory hum
around among the mourners Of this town
my name is not Brimmer."
He was right. 1t did hum.
The next day Remington OF went Oh
.uty and Brimmer ran down to the sea
shore for a breath of fresh air. All
through the day death notices came pour
ing in, and when one would reach OF
he would seize it and study it up to as
certain the particulars. Then he would
rush up stairs, lock himself up in his
room, take down his rhymlng dictionary
run bis fingers through his hair, apd
hack away for half an hour at piece OF
paper until he considered that he had
that poetry in shape which would make
the stricken family feel proud of the
corpse. When his days work was done
OFT went home with the conviction that
The Morning Glory had finally robbed
death of its terrors, and made life com
paratively valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the Office for the purpose OF
embalming In sympathetic verse the
memories of other departed ones. Al
he came near the establishment he OBJ
served a crswd Of five or six thousand
people in front of it, struggling to gel
into the door Climbing tree, he
overlooked tho crowd, and could see
within the Office the clerks selling papers
as fast as they could handle them, while
the mob pushed and jammed and yelled
in frantic efforts to obtain copies--the
presses in the meanwhile changing ava,
like mad. Upsn the curbstone in from
of him there was a line of men stretch
ing down the street for four squares
each man engaged IN reading he Morn
ing Glory with an earnestness thar MIR
OFT had never before seen displayed by
the patrons of that sheet.
He went around to the back OF the
Office and ascended to the editorial rooms
As he approached the sanctum loud noises
were heard within. Mr. OFT determined
to ascertain the cause before entering
He obtained q chair, and placing it b,
the side door, he mounted and peePe'
ose, the dsor through the transom
There sut ]. Alfred Brimmer holdin!
The Morning Glory in both hsnds, whil'
the fringe which grew ia a semi circl
around the edge of his bald head stoo'
straight out, until he seemed to yesemb