Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-03-02
Wit and Wisdom.

SrAsMoDIc LovE-A neuralgia affec-
ton.
WHY should artists take smallpox? :?
Because it's sketching.
A HUNDRED cents will make a dollar,
but a million dollars won't make good
sense.
GARRISON says that the woman ques.
ton was an I" all-embracing one. Who
said it wasn't.
We hate some persons because we do
not know them, and we will not know
them because we hate them.
A MARKED change of fare. Formerly
we treated those with whom we differed
in theology to a hot stake; now we only
offer them q cold shoulder.
No ONE mas died in Holmes county,
Ohio. for ten years past, and the citizens
naturally begins to regard their present
| habitations as their eternal Holmes.
A WESTERN editor speaks of his rival
as "mean enough to steal the swill from
a blind hogr' The rival retorts by say
ing " He knows he lies; | never stole
his swill "
KEROSENE has superseded hari- kari as
the popular shuff1ing. off material in
Japan-a new exempliication of the
progress of American ideas liz that
country.
THERE are no words so fine, no flattery
so soft, that there is not q sentiment be-
yond them that it is impossible to ex-
press, at the bottom of the heart where
true love is.
He whose wishes respecting the pos
sessions of this world are the most rea
sonable and bounded, is likely to lead
the safest, and for that reason, the most
desirable life.
HUNGRY boarder "Some more bread,
if you please; | always eat a good deal
of bread with my meat" Sarcastic
landlady: $50 | see, sir; likewise
good deal of meat with your bread"
In an article on recent fair in that
city, the editor of Macon paper, saysa
brother editor, took valuable premium,
but an unkind policeman made him
put it right back where he took it from.
GLuTToNY is the source of all our dis
eases. As lamp is choked by super
abundance of oil, fire extinguished
by excess of fuel, SO is the natural
health of the body destroyed by intem-
perate diet.
IT was brilliant boy who, seeing
dog with muzzle on for the first time,
exclaimed, Mamma, mamma, bet
five cents the dogs are going to wear
hoop skirts there goes a dog with one
on his nose, now"
THE Bosten Post gets this off, apropos
to Miss Spotted Tail: "If Custer had
preferred to have cussed her, hewouldnt
have kissed her; if her less fortunate
admirers had kissed her, they wouldn't
have preferred to have Custer. Answer
next week.
"Johnny, where's your pa?" "Gone
fishing, sir" "He was fishing yester
day, was he not?" ayes, sir" What
did he catch ?" zone goldfish, the rheu'
matism, two cells, the toothacae, and
some little ones. Ma says he will catch
fits to day just wait till he gets home
A BALTIMORE lady, who had been ex-
ceedlngly annoyed by boys who rang
her door.bell and then ran away, finally
set trap for them by which pail OF
water was to be split upon the next per
son who rang the bell. In few MN
utes her pastor called and was baptized,
but retired without making visit.
In we'll conducted Sabbath school
not a thousand miles from Milwaukee,
the Superintendent was asking few
general questions of the scholars.
Among others he asked, ''What did
Adam and Eve do in the garden OF
Eden?' Some answered, sinned,'
but a little fve-year-old boy cried out in
a loud, clear voice, "stole an apple"