The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-02-06
Gbe Ginres, Mem Bloomfield, ]Da.
KENTUCKY JOKES.

TT was during the Presidential campaign
IL which resulted in the election of Bu-
chanan, that the writer of the appended
sketch, in company with three other politi-
cians rode from Paducah to Boston, KY,
in hack. They Awerc bound for one of
the old-fashioned "barbecues, and he tells
what happened on the way thus:
The joking Judge NJ. was one of the par
ty and the bottles that peeped out from
the baskets under the seat seemed to i'm
prove the sparkle of his wit, the flavor of
his jokes and the music of his laugh, until
the happy contagion even reached the
driver.
Our fun was at its highest when, turn
ing a curve in the road, we saw down its
hot dusty stretch, a solitary OK cart with its
owner perched upon what proved to be
bags of corn. AS kind of advance guard,
a great, ugly, brindle dog came trotting
along in advance, and attractedby our noise,
he threw himself in an attitude of defiance,
determined to dispute our advance. With
his savage growl, red eyes and erect bris-
ties, he indeed presented formidable ap-
pearance. Judge NJ. could not let such an
opportunity for practical joke pass
Said he
"I'll bet the drinks of the day that l
can run that dog off the road.'
"Done," said we.
Stopping our hack he got out, and threw
the skirts of his ''swallow-tailed" coat ov-
er his shoulder, stuck his old slouch hat
on the back of his head, and going down
on all fours, he scampered toward the dog
with the most frightful yells, reminding
one of the fable of the ass in the lions
skin. This was too much for the dog, and,
bowling with fright, he took to the brush.
The oxen also saw the fearful monster
coming down the road, and with one wild
below they took to the brush, and with
their tails standing straight out behind.
Away they went, with wheels bouncing in
the air, bags of corn bursting open, and
spilling their contents in u continuous drill.
"Whoa, Blaze! Whoa, Ball! o, Lordyl
what shall ! do ?" came from the fright
ened man on the cart, now grabbing q cart
pole, then catching at a bag of corn rs it
went over the side.
This kind of performance couldn't last
long without change for better or worse,
as the oxen went tearing down the steep
bank of q little creek and overturned every
thing in the water, about waist deep. One
OK getting loose, went up the opposite bank
and soon disappeared, while the other cow
cred down, piteously believing as we came
up to the scene of disaster There stood
the poor man in water to his waist, his
wagon overturned, and half his corn soak.
ing in the water, while the other half was
scattered in the woods. He looked scared
and pitiful and said:
go, Lordy, stranger, don't never do that
any more. Pm ruined ~
1t was splendid success that joke, and
there stood the Judge holding on to a sap
ling and laughing till the tears ran down his
checks.
We took up subscription for the pool
fellow. The Judge headed the list with al
amount nearly covering the damages, and
we, added to it until we left the man il
thankfulness that he had sold his corn Sc
well At the barbecue, the Judge bet al
his money on little horse-race, and lost
and from that and the effects of his drinks
at our expense, we had to carry him to oui
hack on a barn door. On his way home III
insisted upon standing on his head.