Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1872-06-08
SNAIKS AND BABIES.
From Josh Billings Spice BoH,
STRIPPED SNAKE.


The striped snake IL one ov the
slipporycst Jobs natur ever turned
loose.
They travel on the lower side ov
themselfs, and kan slap out ov sight
ike blowing out kandle. They
were made for sum good purpose,
but ! never have been informed for
what unless it was to have their heds
smashed.
They are scd tew Dc innocent, but
they have bad rcputashuu, and all
tie innocence in the world wont kure
II bad raputashun
They liy in the grass but seldom
git stept on, bcka1ze they don't stay
long enuH in the right place.
When | wuz Il little boy, and wore
naked feet, and wa2 loadng around
loose for Strawberries, j waz often
times just Il going to step on n stri
ped sualk, but it aIwuS kured me oy
strtwbcrrys.
II striped snake got into 10
al,rcc lot before j did, j always kon-
sidered that all the strawherrys i'll
that lot belonged to the spaik.
"Fust cum, fust saryo' wuz my
motto.
am just AFRAID nv snaiks now az
wa2 40 years agJ, and if i should
hy to be- az old ~ Nebudkennezer
wa2, and go to grass as he did, one
striped snajk would spilo SO akreS
Of goo pasture for me.
Wunmn don't luy suaiks emmy
more than lido, and l respect her for
this.
How ON earth Eve waz seduced by
snaik IL a iust class mystery to me,
and if ! hadn't read it i'll the Bible i
would bet against it.
| believe every thing thare il il
the Bible, the things | KNIT under
stand | tclieye the most.
| would not syop oph the phaith l
bay got for any living mans know
lcgdo.
| wouldn't buya farm at half price
that had striped snaik on 1t.
Dcd suaiks are a weakness with
me; / always rcspcGt them, and
Whenever | see dead ono iu the
road, j don't drop a tear on him, but
| droE another stone on him, for fear
he might alter his mind, and cum
teg life agin, for snaik hates TOW
die iust rs much as II kat duz.
| never kould account for snaik
hating tcw die 50 bad, unless it waz
bellauze rbo was SO poorly prepared
I deth.
BAGYs.
Babys i luy with all my heart; they
are mi swectmeats; they warm up my
blood like gin sling; they krawl in-
to me and nestle by the side OF mi
soul like kitten under cooking
stove.
| hay raised babys miself and |
know what | am talking about.
| hav got grandchildren, and they
wass the fust krop to riot among the
feelings,
Iii could have my way, | would
change all the human beings now
ON toc ioco l,v the earth back into
babys at once, aud keep them thare,
and make this foot stool one grand
nussery; but what l should do for
wet husscs, don't know, nor do |
care,
j would like tcw hav Is babys now
on mi lap, aud my lap amt the han
dycst lap in the world for babys, nel-
ther.
My lap IL long enuf, but not the
widest kind NV II lap.
I kan hold more babys in my lap
at once than any other man IT
Amerika, without spilling one, but
it hurts the babys.
| never saw a baby in my lie that
| did not want tow kiss; am wuss
than an old maid i'll this rospekt
| hay seen babys that have re.
fused to kiss until they had beer
wasn't; but the baby want to blame
for ,his. neither WaZl.
Thare are folks in this world who
say they don t luv the babys, but Vt
kan depend upon it when they wui
bob7s somebody loved them,
Babys luv me, too. l kan take
them ont of their mothers arms jus
az eazy az an unhedged bird out o.
hiz nest. They luy me bekauze
luv them.
And here let me say, for the com
fort ana consolashun oy all mothers
that whenever thy see me on TIN
cars or on the steamboats,, out ov
lob, they needn't hesitate a mimi
tew drop a clean, fat baby into IN
lap; i will hold it and kiss it, aud b
thankful besides.
Perhaps thare IL people who don
envy me all this but it IL one of tn
sharp-cut, well-defned joys oy m,
life, mi love for babys and their loV
for me,
: Perhaps there IL reople who vii
call it a weakness, i don't care whs
they call it, bring on the baby. Un
kle Josh haz always kind word ma
a kiss for the babys.
/ love babys for the truth thare
in them, i amt afraid their kiss WI
| betray, thare IL no frauds, ded beat
nor com erfits among them.
, l wish I wuz a baby mot only ono
more, but forevermore'
t JOSH BILLINGS.
A clever old lady, apparently iu,