The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-17
VARIETIES.

|
Iplaints.
How old is ship when she is at her anch-
orage?
Song of an oyster-"Keep me in my little
bed - ~ -. .-s--. !.
Never attempt to form an opinion Of wo-
man by her signs. kaE# H +
The greatest peer that England ever pro-
acknowledgements.
A SINGULAR FAcT.-To. day will be yes
terday tomorrow.
The man whom forgiveness won't humble
is brute.-JoSh Billings.
! subscriber wishes to learn If poets have
to pay for poetical license.
A young theological student, not far from
Boston, recently invited young lady to AT
| tend a concert. The damseps answer to the
invitation In this wise; "If you come as
temporary supply must decline the invi-
tatiOn. am only hearing regular candi-
dates. He didn't supply.
To YOUNG LADIEs.--Keep your eyes wide
open before marriage, but half shut after
wards.
There amt much plum in phisick, but
there is good deal of phisick in phun.- Josh
Billings. w w
To CoRREPoNDE NTs.--P ostmaster- Generals
are generally buried in q post crypt.-Josh
Billings.
Men will forget injurys easier than kon-
tempt; they had rather be hated than not
noticed. Josh Billings.
A DELICATE FLOWER The rose bushes !:
no wonder, considering the things that are
done under it.
4 young man who keeps a collection of
locks Of hair of his lady friends calls them
his ''hair breadth escapes" ~a5 ~s s~
A young lady pianist, who has been prac-
3 Using LET me kiss him for his mother" says
, fthe more she tries the better she likes it.
ooh, mother" said little boy as he stood
looking at a lake by moonlight, ''see how
the moon sprinkles down on the waterV"
, New York editor says that prejudices
against color are very natural, and yet the
prettiest girl he ever knew was Olive Brown.
A humorist consoled a man who complain
t ed that Justice had not been done him, by
& the remark that it was Every lucky for him."
: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.---Man pass
q es his life in reasoning on the past, in CON-
planning of the present, and specializing on
the future.
STATISTICS. ---Of the l 900 young ladies who
tainted lest year, 997 fell into the arms of
gentlemen, two fell on theEfoor, and one in
to water-butt.
"Charey," said fond mother to her son,
''you are into that jam again" NO" re-
piled the little pet, "you are wrong ma, the
S jam is into me-"
5 An Albany domestic left her mistress be-
cause she was not allowed to receive her low
er in the drawing-room and treat him to
twenty~one year old port from the wine
vault.
LOVE AND MARRIAGE ---"Mother, it is no
G use l can never love Mr.. Sprowler.' -
: "Well," said the mother looking at her with
c surprise, that is no reason why you should
o not marry him.
o CURIoUs FACT.---A gentleman took lady
!, out to ride the otherlevening, and came home
with a false curl attached to the button Or
J could have got there.
~ FINIsHING.--A lady being asked what wal
= Der husbands occupation, she said he wat
y engaged in finishing" It was subsequently
i ascertained that it was term ofpenal servi-
- tude to which she referred.
= BRIEF REVIEW Theodore Hook, wher
dining with the author Of q work called
"Three Words to the Drunkard," was asked
> to review it. "Oh my dear fellow, that
u will do in three words---'Pass the bottle"
y Angelina, my angel, can you tell me VIII,
. Your lovely eyes are like friends separated
by distant chimes ?" ''No, Augustus, can't
Tell me, oh, tell me, why they're thus,
g because they correspond, but never meet ,
10 A Common Style Of argument --Smtl
% and Jones were at the menagerie, and thu
a. conversation turned on Darvin's theory
i "Look at that monkey" said Smith "thinl
gifts bein an undeveIoped human !" 'Hu
man ~ said Jones, CONTEMPORARY; cts NJ
he more human nor am -
0 Devotion public opinion was evinced b.
a q lady aged eighty who recently married
at man OF corresponding appropriate age, be
l. cause, she said, che comes about my hous
50 much that if don't marry him peopl
' will talk !"
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