Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25


at stated times received of the progress
of his son in all the arts and sciences.
10 these he was enabled to pay undivid-
ed attention, as no rustling petticoats
had caused his heart to futter, and not
even had one of those dangerous crea-
lures, pretty cousins, popped in his way.
The old squire had determined that
the studies of his son should come to an
end when he had reached his twenty
first year, for by that time. he thought,
the hey-day of youth would be past, and
such bachelor habits be formed as would
effectually prevent him from committing
his happiness to the keeping of any fe-
male however attractive she might be.
Silly Squire Meadows He little
thought what an infammable thing
yuong mans heart is; he forgot, in fact
that he himself was young once.
In due course of time the squire re-
turned to his native land Having Wis
tied his son, and found him all he de-
sired, he dismissed the tutors, and re-
solved to test the singular experiment he
had made by giving his son his liberty,
and taking him with him into the great
world from which he had been so long
shut out, or rather in.
Just about this time an annual fair
was to be held in the county town-and
county fairs in those days were very diff
ferent things from what they now are.
There were all sorts of rural games that
are at present only known by names,
and besides the amusements afforded,
much business was transacted
70 the fair, Squire Meadows, now a
gray haired man, determined to take his
son; and many were the curious glances
bestowed on the handsome looking young
fellow as he made his appearance on the
village green. This spot was covered
with booths in which gingerbread, toys,
ribbons, and fnery and eatables of all
sorts were offered for sale. Then there
were shows. in front of which were great
exaggerated pictures of the various won
defs to be seen therein, such as giants,
giantesses, dwarfs, albinos, wild beasts,
serpents. and the like There were also
travelling theatres, with their merry-an-
drew's harlequins, pantaloons and colum-
bines, and shows in which learned pigs
displayed the profundity of their wis
dom. On various stages erected for the
purpose, great awkward clodhoppers
grinned through horse collars, eliciting
from gaping lockers on some such re-
marks aS tho followinp
'Haw haw haw haw,,"
He he. he he ~
80, Lar. Only LUX at that, Did'e
ever zee such veace in all yer life"
Lar a massey. | howpes as there's
no timid women here to-day Haw
hn-ri Li I'LL ---I.i . 4 - o
TO see these rustics distorting 1.-The
human face divine afforded young
Meadows immeasurable satisfaction
They were ''grinning'' for a new hat.
Grin away, Tom y cried a fellow in
the crowd. Grin ava m bwoy Thee'lt
get the hat, sure
Two to one on jim roared anoth-
er ''he'd grin hoss's yead off ~
They're couple of the ugliest. wos-
birds in the vair," cried third
"e won't Wind zuch pair as they in
hurry, I'll be bound
Il zouldn like to find 'um in bacon
vor month, said another. "What a
mouth 'es got, to be sure. Is enough to
frighten tn ould UNI
In other parts of the fair, fellows
were jumping into sacks, or climbing
creased pole for the sake of getting a
leg OF mutton which was placed on the
summit, or chasing pig with a soaped
tail, and such intellectual pastimes.-
Harry Meadows, to whom all this was
delightfully."- fresh, thoroughly enjoyed
it; but before long he discovered ''metal
more attractive
Once upon a time certain celebrated
phrenologist asserted, that by placing a
machine of his invention in the head of
any one, he could exert such pressure
on any particular organ as to prevent its
development altogether. He procured a
kitten. gave out that he should prevent
the appearance of the organ of destruc-
tiveness and appointed period of six
months from that time for public trial.
Meantime pussy's head was put in the
apparatus, and the pressure kept up
The day of trial arrived, and a numer-
Gus company of learned philosophers as
sembled.
Gentlemen said the phrenologist
Il am now going to prove to a demon
stration the truth of my theory that
when any organ of the brain is arrested
in its development. the function of such
organ ceases. The cat which | now cx.
hibit has had strong pressure applied
to its organ Of destructiveness, and tht
consequence will be that that organ, be
ing prevented from assuming its usua
size, the cat will have no propensity t.
kill its prey; it will now live alone Oh
milk diet. and not butcher its own meat
Here is mouse which | shall liberat
from its trap at the same moment that
take MY apparatus from the cats cranl
UNI. Behold p
The mouse ran from the trap, but no
a second elapsed before the cat had it IL
her claws, a victim to the followers Q
science
t In much the same way had Squir
Meadows been experimenting upon hi
son, as we shall presently see. The
had scarcely got out of the crowd whic
Y surrounded wild beast show, when
| very pretty young girl, with rosy chez
: and laughing eye, passed them. Sh
: was very daintily dressed, and as sh
/ glanced roguishly at the youth blus
], suffused her cheeks. On she went, sins
) ing song in very sweet voice, an
# Harry stared and listened. with all h
e soul in his countenance.
s why. father, wh--wh--what's that
y exclaimed Harry that's the fine
y thing I've seen in the fair Do tell II
l. what creature that is ?"
l., Souire Meadows didn't half like thi