The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-02-17
The Member from AlligatOryille.

Mr.. J. w. DeForest, whose expert
ence as an army officer has given him
an insight into Southern life as 1t is
has a most amusing sketch in the
GALAXY for March Of the characters
tics of new class of legislators who
have been introduced to public life by
the Fifteenth Amendment. The appear
ance of "the co!ored member" at a pub
lie supper given by the Governor is thus
described:
Pompev had never before drunk
champagne but his lifelong studies in
whisky enabled him to master the
secret at the first jump, and he IRE,
trievably damaged a quart bottle OF
Mumm's Imperial. The result was
that he soon became such cheerful
man and brother that if all the other
inhabitants Of this footstool had been
in the same condition it would have
been the jolliest footstool under the
canopy. He had some such exhilarat'
ing sensations as if every curl in his
wool were a jewsharp, and all these
iewsharps were combined in an orches,
ira which which played simultaneously
every jig in creation. Things went on
in his brain in cross over-and-down-
the-middle style, as if it were the dance,
room Of a sailor boarding house, and
the crew of a frigate had just been paid
off in the neighborhood His tongue
was loosed, like that of Balaam's ass,
and he talked as glibly as that quadru'
ped, though less wisely. He whistled,
and showed off q step or two OF his
favorite breakdown, and slapped per
fectly unknown lawgIver5 on the shout
der and laughed like seven thunder=
utter;ng their voices.
At last his two million or so OF jews
harps revealed to him a message to the
effect that he ought to walk with a
white lady. The Speaker wife was
that evening flirting miscellaneously
with the colored members, for the sake
of securing her husbands reelection
to his honorable and lucrative position.
So for halt a minute Pompey Howard
promenaded among the stars with the
white kid glove OF goddess OF fashion
Just touching the sleeve OF his s!opshop
coat
"Have you been presentedto the Gov
ernor?' asked the Speakers wife, who
had sorrowfully acquired a knack Of
getting rid of people, and who was de-
terminei to get rid of the member from
AlligatorviIe. if she had to push him
out of q window.
NO. Whar is he p answered Pom
pey, falling into the trap, though he
wanted to walk more with the white
lady.
So the Speakers vile introduced
him to the Governor, who shook hands
with him and beamel on him as if he
loved him, and then as quick as light
Ming introduced him to particular
friend of his, whose business it was tc
tote of coIored members and dump
them at a distance, as if they were sc
many loads of garbage.
Just as Pompey found himself dump
ed, the doors of the supper room were
thrown open. Immediately there was
such a rush as there used to he into the
dining halls Of American hotels, IN the
good old times when the gentlemanly
proprietor always set half dozer
chairs less than were necessary to sea-
his guests. The white members and thu
colored all ran and rampagcd together
a. if it were understood that the devl
had claim on the hindmost. 1t wa;
like dam breaking away and carrying
with it an ice flood. The supper room
was packed before the first man could
swallow a picked oyster, and the crush
particularly around the tables, wa:
enough to make dough of a rhinoceros
Every lawgiver took his brother by the
collar, and thrust his elbow under hi:
fifth rib, and did for him.
Then came such laying on OF hands
and such devouring, as ifall the hun,
cry giants of nursery rhyme had been
let loose on his Excellencys ieed. Hon.
orable gentlemen lailed up Jellles and
raked in cakes and oranges, as II they
were spading rice-swampmud or hoeing
sweet potatoes. Ice cream went like
the snowflake on the river, a moment
white, then gone forever. Saucers OF
floating island struggled to and fro in
the air, their contents stopping over
heads and coat collars and coat tails and
into sleeves, as the sacred oil ran down
Aaron's beard and vestments. One
white dignitary had just filled a plate
with luxuries for his wife, when a dusky
hand OF destiny descended upon it like a
hawk upon a JunebuC, and removed 1t
from his wondering sight. 1t was con-
sidered a good joke by some legislators
(no doubt as being symbolical of the
way things went in politics. to abstract
the bananas from dishes which other
legislators were bearing away. The
statesman who had made levy on the
cigar box was justly punished for his
malversation BY losing whole basket
full of sugar plums, over which his
mouth was already watering.
Into this melee Pompey Howard
plunged with the conmingled JOY OF a
strong man who knows his strength
and Of a hungry man who sees hi:
supper. More than one Caucasian corn
had reason to rue the hour when II
made acquaintance with the weighty
and widespread hoof OF the member
from Alligatorville. 1t was an unex
pected opportunity, but one perfectly
adapted to his powers Of avenging TIT
wrongs and scorns of centuries. In
general way colored muscle was trlum
plant in the combat, easily bringing
Indo-Europesn muscle to grief, AM
thereby nourishing itself with great lib