The Republican journal., 1872-07-04
RecoIlections of Dolly Warden.
The world isDony Varlenized,
Aud all the folks below
Are ranting, roaring, crazy mad,
ON Curlain Galirn

The world is Dolly Var,lenized,
And all the folks below
Are rantng, roaring, crazy mad,
On Curtain Calico.
Dolly Warden was a lunatic When
she died, like the prophet OF old, she she'd
her mantle-and all the world has gone
Tor it. After the death OF old Golly Var
den, her father, she went to live with her .
uncle, Barnaby Ridge 1t was here she /
met with a distinguished author, who /
dipped his pen in biographical ink, sketch
ed her history, and raised the ''Dickens' /
with the world Dolly Warden was not |
always insane; but she was always a wo- |
man. and consequently, excessively wild
on the subject of dress. Dress was her
ambition. This it was that crazed her
and tor punishment she was doomed to
everlasting chinz. Clint is calico.
Chintz is Dolly Warden.
Chntz is the epidemic that is sweeping
Hike two simoons broadcast over the land.
Ny wife, Mary Ann, has had it. At first
we thought it was varioloid, then she car
ricd on so we thought it was 4 very-old-
boy, but it broke out in Il Dolly Warden
rash Awful rash. She is fIightful
picture to look ut, for the disease has LEFT
its ungainly marks upon her torm-which
was never picturesque. Last week she
made the following motion at one of our
braakfast-tables 'Resolved, that the
sum of thirty dollars be expended in max
mo the female head of this house present
able in society,"" | followed in u few ap
\ propriate remarks on the insutliciency of
\ money to make a person presentable who
\ lacked grace, NO oIesty, comeliness, and
l all the cardinal virtues and offered, as
an amendment the following; Resolved,
i that the thirty dollars alluded to be OBJ
| tanned before tbs expended onthe female
| head Cor back of this house" lett
| without stopping to vote on the amend
/ ment '.. .'
h But it came; ; not the thirty dollars but
| the Dolly Warden. We had an heirloom
/ in the tamily--a combined trundlebed and
/ lounge. IT. was my great large grand
/ mothers, and was covered with chintz.
| The figures on ii represented "ColnmbuS
II discovering America in three vessels" ;"
and lIottentots gathering 5uchu leaves
/ at the Cape Of Good Hope.' These pic
|, lures had fascinated my infant eyes, and
/ were the IDOL OF my meaSIy, scarlet fever
\ childhood. But alas. they tell 4 victim.
to the Dolly Warden scourge. My wife
Il cot after it, and in u few hours II was
\ Dollv-Nardened. | felt that the last link
L that chained me to my grandmother had
Il heen broken. Had it been the link in my
|, matrimonial chain should not have sigh
ed, but, poor grandmother, Dolly Var
dened out of memory shalt not at
tempt to describe Mary AIMS appearance
/ III her lonnge-cover suit.
Il She looked like a bill TO a circus,
Il The most insane object in life
II And GOULD but eXc;tim aS Gazed on her form,
/ ''May Ann, your the devils own wife,"
/ I believe that woman would give me
IIup. rather than part wuh that uncivlized
nchristianized Dolly Warden.
/ Last week our Orange County COW
/ ''came in'' for the spring trade The calf
\ (Which was i little spotted thing) was i'm
/ mediately christenea ''DoIIy Warden" |
Il demonstrated on the ground of "cruelty
to animals" and explained that il was not
Hi bovine, on u COW vine but bull vine
/ and belonged to the other scN; huf all in
I vain it had 10 be Vardenpc Poor little
R disgrtced brute, shall Kill it betor" it,
lreplizrs what its name is
/ 50 constantly h;td this name rung in
4 my ears that.I inquired in the ,'ru. store
ton some Dolly Nlrden pills. and a paper
Hot Dolly Warden onion seed. The neNt
II sewing society meets at our house. to
\ make Dolly NardenS for the little naked
Il heather. Tomorrow. Mary Ann com
\ Hnances her house cleaning orgies an |
Il take my annual hegira. wonder ii she
/ viii clean house in her Dolly Ntritu.
can conceive Of nothing more Formidable
II awful, terrible, than mixture of house
cleaning and Dolly Earden. | never IN
I5terfere in house cleaning. but leave it All
Ito Mary AIMS discretion. | would rath-
Eer sit and nHflft'ttr on an icehnr@, with
ltnothn@ on bat h.dotton shirt and straw
II hat, than to enjoy 4tli the Gomiorts OF civ
IliliHation during house cleaning. There
are too many Transformation Scen:, ior
lime. Everything IS changed The fur
Ilniture, ,erockery, stovepipe~ and my best
L IEclothes will be piled in the centre Of the
room covered with Dolly Warden strcaks
lEof Whitewash.
Il The habitual trown on Mary AIMS
lEfreekled cOuntenance will be changed to
Isa delnoncal glare, rs she slops around,
IIstirring up dust enough to make Il world
EItull Of people This season to me is the
Ifinquisiion period; and | always vanish
I like the base fabric of an empty dream
III guess they are cleaning house over to
Smiths, for | saw him out with his head
banlaged and one arm in a sling Poor
fellow he is learning. Experience will
teac him that