davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
The Well that Leaked.

When the General Manager OF the
Missouri, Kansas and Texas railway
was pushing that great enterprise
southwark at the rate of three miles
a day, he came across a veteran Mis-
souri, farmer. who for fifty years had
lived on his frontier plantation un-
disturbed, even by wars, rumOrs OF
wars, pestilence or famine, so far from
disease. and telegraphs was he.
One night the advance men came
upon his old farmhouse, when the
following dialogue ensued:
''Then ye're gwine to build a rail-
road, are ye"
ayes"
ftWhar am itcomin' from, and whar
am it gwine to go.
"From Sedalia In Missouri, down
through Missouri, Kansas, the Indian
Territory, and so on through Texas to
the city of Mexico"
"Are yOu's gwine to run it through
my plantation?
'Yes.n
"Do you hear that, old woman
We've got to mOvem
mot necessarily. All we want is
the right of way"
"Wall--yOu can have that air; but
who'd a thought a railroad would hit
us?"
"You have u good farm here ?"
"Yes-fair to middling."
"NOt many improvements? ?"
1NO-it takes me so long to look
after the cattle, can't improve
much"
"Have you a good well on the
premises?"
"Yes-a clippin' good one, only il
/ leaks little"
Leaks? HOw's that?"
fYOu see we dug down forty feet,
when we came to the rock but no wa
ter. Then [ walled it up, and we
haul water from the river, about for
ty barrels u day, and fill into it.
We don't use mOre'n five barrels 8
day the rest leaks out somehow.
was gwine to dig another well mex
year, but p'r'aps 1 can hire the watel
hauled on the cars cheaper than car
/ build"
For thirteen years this old planter
had hauled forty barrels a day t.
empty into that rock bottom hole
rather than dig a new well or brinG
water in a pipe from a spring only
a mile away.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
ATTORNEYS.
J. X. UCDDLE.

A T.rORNET At Law and NoJary Public,
a once over Nollmer B kirenne - 5 ~ lotii- ,t
Ing store, Tim, .. April =, lszz-iy.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
thrift.

In passing Through the country,
why is it that we see only few farms
that seem to be well fenced, and on
which the dwellings and other farm
buildings are in good repair? These
few farms are always free from weeds,
and invariably yield good crops Of all
kinds. The owners OF these premises
attend to their business. They make
business Of farming. They get their
crops in at the proper season, and har-
vest them when they are properly
matured. Their cash account is al
ways in their favor, the balance being
on the right side. They have no time
to waste at the taverns or groceries.
If they have spare time, it is devoted
to self-culture. They always subscribe
and pay for their local paper first, aud
Others are not discarded. They and
their families are we'll informed upon
the current topics OF the day. Their
children are educated, well clad aud
we'll bred. These men are the sub
stantial aud influential men Of the
town. They keep it respectable. They
support the schools and the churches.
These are the men to whom the cOun-
try ever looks in time of need. They
always have opinions upon subjects,
and their views are never in market.
Ever open to conviction, never to cor
ruptiOn, they may sometimes be lit
tie exclusive, but they are ever ready
to assist their less favored neighbOrs
to rise to the same plane upon which
they stand. They are reserved, but
true, cautious but sure, and they con-
stitute the hope and safety Of our re-
public.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Discovery ola prehistoric Corpse.

In digging up a peat bog in Hol-
stein, not long since, human body
was discovered, almost entirely pre-
served, and belonging to period At
least as remote As the beginning OF
the Christian era, il not earlier. II
lay in an Outstretched position, with
the belly upward, with one arm
thrown over the breast, and had a
wound in the forehead which proba-
bly, was the cause of death. II was
clothed in a garment Of twilled wool
en- material, with broad sleeves, and
over it a tunie composed Of pieces Oi
sheep and calf skin sewed together.
The sewing, especially that Of the belt,
indieated no ineOnsiderable degree oi
skill.
The body was of the male sex, and
in a good state Of preservation, al
though of dark color, in consequence
of saturstiOn by the acids and tannin
matter of the peat. The skin and
muscles, under the microscope, exhib-
tied their original condition, although
the intestines seemed to have mainly
disappeared. TIE bones were black
ish-brOwn, light, but generally Of firm
COUSl5LCuCNF " lAAA LlAC CaANEB BSAOAA va VIZ
skull bones, which were so soft anC
distorted as to prevent q satisfactory
investigation of their character.
An important feature Of this ObjecI
consisted in the horizontal wearing o.
abrasion of the teeth, which, in Eu
rope, is said only to occur in skull
| found in the graves Of the Stone Peri.
cd, thus proving the great age OF th'
body. While the dress seems to indi
cate an antiquity about equal to tina
Of the Christian era, the teeth woul'
carry it considerably farther back
The body has now been thorough!
dried, and will be preserved Ia tin
Museum of Antiquities at Kiel.
! A second body was subsequent!
obtained not far from the locality il
which the first was discovered at
depth of two and a half feet. Thi
was in q poorer condition of preserva
tiOn and nothing is said of the natur
/ of the dress.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
The Managing Woman.

The managing woman is a pearl
among women; she is one of the
prizes in the lottery Of life, and the
man who draws her may rejoice for
the balance of his days. Better than
riches, she is a fountain in herself-e
spring Ofpleasant waters, whose banks
are fringed with moss and flowers
The managing woman can do any
thing; and does everything well.
Perceptive and executive, Of quick
sight and steady hand, she always
knows exactly what is wanting, and
supplies the deficiency with a tact and
cIeverness peculiar to herself
She knows the capabilities OF per-
sons as we'll as things, for she has an
infinitive knowledge OF character
The managing woman, II not alway:
patient, is always energetic, and can
never be disappointed into action
Though she has to teach the same
thing over and over again, and though
she finds her duties dense as lockwood
and hands as inefficient as fishes fins
still she is never weary Of her vOea.
tions Of arranging and ordering, and
never less than hopeful Of favorable
result
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Boys, Read THIS.

Solomon said, many centuries ago,
"tbat even a child was known by his
doings, whether his work be pure,
and whether it be right" When L
see boy in haste to spend every cent
as soon as he gets It. I think IL IS q
sign that he will be a spendthrift
When see a child boarding up his
pennies, and unwilling tn part with
them for any purpose, | think it is a
sign he will be a miser. When 1 see
q boy or girl always looking out for
himself or herself, think it is sign
the person will grow up very selfish
person. When / see boys and girls
often quarreling, 1 think it is a sign
they will be violent men and hateful
women. When / see a little boy
willing 10 take strong drink, think
it is a sign he will be a drunkard.
When see boy who never attends
to the service OF religion, l think it is
a sign he will be profano and profit
gate man. When 1 see \ child Obedi-
ent to his parents, think it is sign
of great future blessings from his
heavenly parent. And though chang
es sometimes take place in the char
aeter, yet, as q general rule, these
signs do not fail.-Oid Jonathan.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

One thing is clear; the coming Pres
idential campaign IS not going TO be
dull or uninteresting for want Of can
didates. The list OF people, male and
female, who have shown a willing
ness to assume the duties Of Chiel
Magistrate is already long one, 50
long indeed that the voting masses
may have some difficulty Of keeping
track Of them all. Lest any reader Oi
the Leader may lose sight Of some OF
the candidates uOw in the field, we
give them in detail.
Daniel Pratt, peripatetic.
Geo Francis Train, independent.
James Black, temperance
Judge David Davis, abOrrefOrmer.
Horace Greeley, protection and free
trade.
Victoria C. Woodruff, woman suf.
frage.
There are yet several counties %
hear from, but the above list will be
sufficiently varied to meet the wants
Of the people until the .Philadelphia
Convention takes place. After that
/ the WOOdhull-Train-Greeley brood OF
candidates will not be heard Of again
tall the November election returns
show how badly they have been de-
I feated.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Three Chances to get Married,

A Yankee old bachelor was once
bantered on the subject of matrimOny
by a young girl, who told him she
didn't believe he ever found a woman
who'd have him.
ayes, 1 did," replied he, az had
three chances to get married, and
they all busted so 1 never tried a
fourth"
spray how was that?" inquired the
young lady.
"Why, you see, courted Deacon
Hawkins darter Deborah-Deb, they
USED to call her-and so one night we
made it up between us to get mar
ried. Well, while we were going to
the parsons, 1 accidentally slOuched
my foot into a mud puddle and spat-
tered mud all over Deb's new gown /;
it was made out'n one of her grand
mothers chintZ petticoats, and she
was so proud of the rig that she got
mad as hops. Wa'al, when we got to
the parsons the ceremony began, and
he asked Deb if she would take me for
her lawful welded husband. "NO !'
says she; "I've taken a mislikin' to
him since I left home ~
"The parson laughed, and so did his
wife and darter, who had come in to
see the ceremony, and I felt streaked
as thunder, while Deb went off in q
milf.
"Wa'al, it was all up, of course, for
the time being; but was determined
to have some satisfaction for such
mean treatment, so began to shine
up to her again; l gin her a new
string of beads, a few kisses and some
other notions until finally we made il
all up, and we went to the parsons &
second time. We was stood out in
the middle of the room and he aX'C
me if 1 would take the Deborah for
nv lawful welded vile? "NOw said
I, 'I've taken q mislikin' to her
since 1 was here last ~
"This was a sumner for poor Deb
who turned white as a sheet, and tht
parsons wife ran for her smellin' salts
I began to relent a little when saw
/ how she took it; but it proved to be
only a mad fit after all; for, N a few
minutes more she was skittin away
/ for home, lively as a cricket.
at was some weeks before l coulI
bring round the gal agin to let m
! pain hClr anu IL BACfNA -
expensive job, too, for 1 had to bu!
her a span new caliker gown which
cost hard on to four dollars. Tha
fotched her and made q sure thing o
it. So we went a third time to th'
parsons expecting to be tied s.
fast that all natur' couldn't separatr
US. We ax'd him 10 begin the cere
mony, as everything was all righ
now.
"I shan't do any such thing" sal
he, "for Tve taken a mislikin' to boil
of you since you were here last.
"ThereupOn Deb burst out a crying
and the parsons wife she burst on
a laughing, and the parsOn burst out
scOlding; and l burst out the front doc
and put for home. Next day, hearin
that Deb had licked the parsOn an
pulled out nearly all his wife's hair,
concluded that my chances with sue
filly buster would be rather squally
so let her slide"
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
NATURES
HAIR RESTBRATTTR

Contains no LAC sULPHUR-IO SUGAR
OF LEAB-NO LlTHlRGE-XO MI
RATE Of SILVER, and Is entirel!
rree from the POIsOaOuS and Health
destroying Drugs used In other Hair
PREPARATIONS.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
The Bachelor Juror.

A gentleman who is rather given
to storytelling, relates the following {:
"When 1 was young man, spent
several years in the South residing
for a while at Port Hudson, on the
Mississippi River. A great deal of
litigation was going on there about
that time, and it was not always an
easy matter to obtain a jury. One
day was summoned and tried to get
excused.
On my name being called I inform
ed his honor, the judge, that / was not
freeholder, and therefore not quail
flied to serve.
~ am stopping for the time being
at Port Hudson
"HOu board at the hotel, I presume?'
81 take my meals there, but have
rooms in another part of the town,
where Hodge.
$50 you keep bachelors hall?
Yes, sir.n
"How long have you lived in this
manner 81
| About six months"
"I think you are qualified, !" gravely
remarked the Judge; "fOr l have never
known a man to Keep bachelors hal
the length of time you name who had
not dirt enough in his room to make
him a freeholderi The court does not
excuse you"
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Strange. Stirring StOry-StartlIns
South Stockton society.

Softly smirking, sluggish, slOthful,
sly, slippery, sneaking, sneering, sna-
kish, snappish, snlveling, snickering,
sojourner Smith smuggled South
Stockton school.
Strange, squeaking sounds seemed
superintendent; strong sound sense
seemed senseless; strong soft soap
suited Smiths sacrilegiOus, shallow
soul. StupendOus stories started
saucy, sOphistical sehoOlmaster sor-
didIy candaled-smart,st ,staid ,staunch,
steady souls said, "silly, selfish, ,sehem-
rig 'sistants." Strange such seOun-
drels should seem sincere!
Sober sovereigns solved said Smiths
staneh staidness; sound Streeting
scorned stoIid Smiths slang; school
society sought sOunder scientific, sys-
tematic, skilIful, sensible superior.
Sincerely selfish, sounding squabOlel
said, "selfs martest."
Simple, sWindled students signed
such small sums, Smith sustained
sumptuous Switzerland scenery, ,splen-
did silver supper service, sleeve seeur-
ers.
Silly sympathizers screened Smiths
signing SUMS so SUPERIOR sneiJeTeu
scamp's seurrility, scOundrePs sum-
mer's services seemed secure.
State School Superintendent SEM
solicitOus summons, saying, ''Send
Smith solid sums, sentences, spelling
stints-suceess sIgnifying sufficient
scholarship"
Sneakish Smith, stammering, squir-
ming, squawking, singing silly songs
speaking sharp sentences, stOrming
started shantyward.
System seemed spreading; suscepti
bic souls sought sure support; Smiti
suecumb bed, surrendering school; sue
cessOr successfully succeeded; soft
sympathiZing supporters, seemingly
silenced, sustained shallow Smith
Stories stopped spreading; SOutl
Stockton scholars seemed sincerely
satisfied since Smith started shanty
ward.
iSdncte sdlltdnt sdlUtsBl sdlUoe.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Wonders

Lewinbeck tells US Of an insect seen
with q microscope, OF which twenty
seven millions would only equal y
mite.
Insects of various kinds may beseen
in the cavities OF grain Ofsand.
Mold is a forest Of beautiful trees,
with branches, leaves and fruit
Butterflies are fully feathered.
Hairs are hollow tubes.
The surface of our bodies Is covered
with scales. like q fish a single grain
of sand would cover one hundred
and fifty Of these scales, and yet q scale
covers five hundred pores. Through
these narrow openings the perspirs-
ton forces itself, like water through q
sieve.
The mites take five hundred steps
q second.
Each drop Of stagnant water con-
tains Z world OF animated beings,
swimming with as much liberty as
whales in the sea.
Each leaf has a colony Of insects
grazing ON it like cows in meadow
MOrdI.-Have some care as to the
air you breathe, the food you eat, and
the water you drink.-Honle dIsC
HealtA.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
SUGGESTIONS

Those who desire well-formed and
healthy children must not during
the first hours Of independent exist
enee compress their lungs, liver, heart
and bowels with q brOad, firm band
age so tightly drawn that the little
sufferer breathes with difficulty and
cries continually with pain.
Those vino wear shoes with
high, narrow heels in the hollow Of
the fOot peFvert natures design, and
must bear the penalty she imposes,
viz: defOrmity OF limbs, an awkward
walk, and spinal disease.
Alcohol makes neither blood,
bone, muscle, or nerve, and is not
more suitable as beverage than arse
ME or stryehnine.
Nature is ever ready to resent
abuse, and the practice Of feeding and
over feeding children at Irregular in
teryals and from the bottle will not
pass unnOtieed.
Since the birth OF mother Eve
every man Of sense has most atnirsd
q fOrm like hers with waist not small
but such as God gives aud fall Of
health.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

In all the world there is nothing so
delightful rs tale Of 4 faithful and
constant love. Such tale Of maseu-
line devotion we have 70 tell. AT the
beginning Of the war y young and
lovely maiden Of Philadelphia prom
ised her lily hand in marriages ID q
brave and beautiful youth iu the
Union army. MillpOnds were moth.
ing To the smOOthness with which
their course of love ran, until at the
end of the war the youth determined
to seek his fortune in California. He
departed burning with impotence to
return and claim fOFeyermOre his
charming, his angelic bride. Years
passed OH rs they are wont to pass !;
the gentle lady looking in the glass
found that her chestnut locks from
day to day began To show decided
signs OF gray. A whisper Of ''Old
maid'i rent her all too faithful heart
vet she waited, sure that the Brave,
the Beautiful, would return to COM
fort and bless. He eame-at last he
came With bronZed cheek he
came, with high hopes, with q pro-
digiOus fOrtune-aud--and a wife and
twins. Alas for female expectations.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

JOHN HcCAULEK.
A TTORNEY AT LAW, Tina, Ohio. Of
a ice opposite the Court House.
June IL.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
WASN'T FOND Of Sweet rhIng,

During the late rebellion, n man out
West, in n small gathering OF friends
was urging upon their minds the i'm
pOrtance OF enlisting:
500, my brave friends" said he;
eight for your Countryside for 1t, i
it is necessary; for it IS sweet to die
for our native land"
''But," said one, ''if it Is sweet to
die for ones country, why don't you
gO?"
This was poser, and for moment
disconnected him, but rallying, he re-
piled that he, as an individual, twas
not fond of sweet things"
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30
Stupid People.

\ number Of The Saturday JOUrHd
says: "I think stupid persons n mis-
/ take of Nature" This j. a very saw.
/ age Indictment of Nature, which gen
/ orally knows what 1t is doing, rs vel
- anybody. When there ara so many
stupid people, most OF whom enjoy
themselves t0 the utmost, it is moi
kind 10 speak lily OF them. Let u;
consider few of them.
I Take the profane man. He imag.
Ines that profanity is an evidence o.
smartuess and superiority; that using
the name Of his Maker vainly elevate>
him in the estimation of others. How
grossly stupid
Remark him who makes long, tire.
some prayers in public places, wears
sanctimOniOus airs and sniffles daily
He suppOseS that such cOnddct eOm-
mends him to his neighbOrs as an
extra good man. He cannot realize
that common sense reads his charae-
ter as clearly as one reads street
sign.
The gam bier who usually dresses in
purple and fine linen, suppOses that
the advice once given by a dying man
to his SONS, is good morality. FINALLY,
my sons, get money. Get it honestly
if you can, but get money" He lives
by lying, trickery and cheating, never
thinking be will die ''as the fool
dieth." Stupid! Stupid!
But is he any more stupid than the
mOney-grasping man who puts on the
'1ivery of the court Of heaven" IL not
to serve the devil in, at least 70 cover
his bad deeds from the sight of man,
and to hOOdwink his Maker-very
likely at last leaving his dishonest
gains to religious and charitable in
stitutiOns! His stupidity is so grea;
that ne does not know that his
character is an open book to be read Of
men as well as by God!
Then there is the man who vOeifer-
ates his views on all possible occasions,
and lifts up his voice like q braying
ass, especially when he ought not To
do 50, under the impression that he
has large influence. Well, perhaps
he has; but it is directly opposite tO
what he suppOses.
The hard-drinker, the idler, the
spendthrift, the common slanderer, the
twO-penny raseSls, must all think
they are promoting their own hap
piness. Their stupidity is unfathOm-
able!
But we need not extend the list
We will only add that if stupid per.
sons are a mistake of Nature, it would
not be safe to rectify the mistake al
at once. The shock to the human
family would destroy half the institu'
tutiOns and objects Of the world, anC
bring moral chaos into every com
munity.-GeneUd Courier.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

Que night trombone player wish
ed to be absent from the orchestra and
as there was another trombone instead
of asking leave of the conductor, he
resOrted TO the expedient OF getting a
friend to go and take his seat.
"Wateh the other trombone, /" said be
to his friend, "puff out your cheeks
well, keep your fingers active, look
alive and you viii pass muster All
went well Until q passage for tine two
tFJm bones was reached. Not q sound
was heard from the instruments II
turned out that both trombone players
had resOrtsd to the same ruse.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

Hon. Jere. Black has been inter
viewed as to GreeIey's fitness for the
Presidency with the following result:
"Had you raked this world and the
two adjacent you could not have found
a filter man to be q candidate, or q
more Unfit one to be President"
In response to the query, "Is be
able ?i the Hon. Jere. remarked:
"That depends upon what you ex-
pect him to do. You reeOllect the
story OF the farmer who yOked up his
hogs TO plough. The farmer remarked
subsequently that hogs were good to
eat, bet very trying when you at.
tempted to plough with them. Your
candidate has made a successful jour
nalist and written one or two clever
books, but he has no qualifications for
the Presidency"
Mr.. Black knows whereof he
speaks.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-30

Some mems minds are like q nest
Of clean and unclean birds, ell crowd
Ell together, so that one can, with
difficulty get out a clean bird, without
pulling out an unelean bird with It.
81 cannot bear 10 be idle, but ]
always wish to be working for others. p
This expression Is the key to q truly
useful and happy life. We get what
we give; we gather what we scatter,
and we End what we lose.
We are to work and learn. Life
should have its quiet pauses, in which
10 gather rest for work, but no IDLE
hours. The poor are 10 be ministered
unto, the wicked to be reclaimed ana
the sorrowing to be eomforted-
Christ proposes to destroy IN h the
regeneFated soul all the Work oI sLle
wieked-to remove every disposltIon tli
Of feeling contrary to his OVID hlino. NJ.
But in doing this he must nave tne
eo-operatiOn Of the believers cholee'
affeetion. faith and service.