Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-09-12
BREVITIES.

tween two ladies.
A CORPORAL OF MANY STRpEs-Cor.
pOral punishment.
SOMETHING that always comes to
pass. The express train.
NEW HAMPSHIRE consumes the least
tobacco OF any of the States.
TO MAKE apple trees bare-Pick of
all the leaves as soon as they appear
THE Paris hotels charge the same price
for keeping canary birds rs servants.
You've ladies with new solitaire dia-
mond rings never refuse to play the piano.
EVEN in time of peace death is the pen
atty for desertion from the Italian army.
Two typesetting machines are working
satisfactorily in the office Of the London
Times.
OLE BULL has drawn $50, 600 worth of
notes out Of his violin during the last two
years.
THE premium list of the Georgia State
Fair nrn bers 1923 prizes, aggregating
500 600.
A YOUNG lady of Lee, Mass, had hair
which reached to the ground, and she sold
it for $55
JOHN CHISAMAN keeps lager-beer sa-
loon in New York City, and does 'welly
good business
THERE were only fourteen fires in
Charleston, S. c., for the year ending
April q, 1872.
The Aaron cup" California flower
measures two feet eight inches from the
base to the tip.
WHY is a hot griddle.cake like cater
pillary Because it is the grub that makes
the butterfly.
A NEW verb to express the sudden &C
cess OF heat in the atmosphere has been
invented-"It vesuviates
IT is in vain that man has the means
Of happiness without, if he has not the
capacity of happiness within himself
A WATERFORD, VT, girl certainly
knows how to say "No.' She has Just
refused the twenty-tifth offer of mar
riage.
A Down EAST shop. keeper advertises
quart bowls Of all sizes for sale cheap"
The smaller sizes are to measure berries
with.
A WATERyILLE Me- boy steals every
thing he can lay his hands on, and sells
his spois for ten cents each, irrespective
of quality.
THERE is an immense petritied palm
tree in Colorado, the trunk of which has
all turned to stone, hard and Unity as
porphyry
IT is said, but we don't knotr that it is
true, that the prize for gymnastics at a
late fair was awarded to one of the cheeses
exhibited.
lT takes the combined efforts of two
able-bodied baggage smashers to properly
disintegrate a Saratoga trunk as now con.
structed.
THE United States have 5000 telegraph
stations, Is 900 miles of line, over 1000
operators, aud transmit. ever II 500, 600
messages annually,
SOME unscientitic thief recently robbed
a journalist of his valise in a Baltimore
train. He secured about two dollars
worth of writing paper.
A DEER attempted to fight two alliga-
tors near Savannah, not long ago, and got
decidedly the worst of it. The alligatOrs
had venison for dinner.
A SCIENTIFIC gentleman informed the
world that the film of soap bubble,
about to burst, is three-fourths of one
mIllionth of an inch thick.
Mrs. SHoDDY puckcred up her mouth
genteelly and told a gentleman friend
that one of her lovely daughters was a
"bluenet'' and the other "bronze."
A GENTLEMAN who had been arguing
with an ignOramus until his patience was
exhausted, said he didn't wish him dead
but he would be glad to see him kHop
mare.
WILL your puppy bite?" drawled a
languid young exquisite" to the owne4
of beautiful little Scotch terrier. Eyes;
but he isn't caunibal!' was the assuring
reply.
GOODMAN, Miss has man who owns
a live anteater. tits about the size of
mouse, and its owner takes contracts for
Kidding the premises of these troublesome
insects.
THE Crown Princess Victoria of Prus-
STA, daughter Of Queen Victoria, has Of
tered a prize of $4,000 for the best essay
of advancing the material interests of
working women.
THERE were imported at New York
last year one hundred and two cargoes of
bananas, eighty cargoes of pineap
pies, and two hundred and twenty-five
cargoes OF CoCOanuts.
Every person arrested, convicted and
sent to the penitentiary in the United
States costs on an average, 81 ,200-while
every boy educated at the expense of the
State costs only about $500
A COOK, whose wages were sadly in ar.
rears, lately took her revenge by substi- |
tuting her chignon for the dressing of a
turkey, on an occasion when her employ |
er gave a grand dinner party.
CARBofIC acid is said to be a sovereign |
remedy for mosquitoes and flies A few
drops evaporated in room, or poured |
upon the clothes, will keep the winged |
pests at a comfortable distance.
A TRAVELLER in Constantinople de- |
scrlhes most singular flower, which is |
in the form of perfect humming bird. /
The resemblance of this curious flower to /.
a tiny bird is said to be complete.
THE great question is, What shall we
do with the north pole when we find it =
There are now four expeditions hunting
for it among the icebergs, and it will
scarcely escape all its pursuers.
THE learned Prof. Parsons had great .
horror OF the east wind and Tom Sheri. .
dan is said to have once kept him pris- /
nner in the house for fortnight by fixing
the weathercock in that direction.
The Aston House New York, boasts of .
an old gentleman who registered his name
on the books of the hotel the first day it
opened and has been there ever since, q
period of nearly thirty years,
II WANT to know" said creditor.
tiercely, "wheu you are going to pay me
J, .rt