Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1872-09-05
Humorous.

WHEN autumn is married to winter,
the wedding-cake is always frosted.
War are balloons in the air like
Migrants Because they have no visible
means of support.
"You saved My life at the battle of
Malvern Hill," said beggat to q cdp;
tain. "Saved your life! Howl" ~
served under you and when you ran
away, followed"
PuNCH's cartoon represents German
trooper, who, on looking at the SUBJ
scription TO the French loan, exclaims:
'Mein 0ott. mcin 0ott aud ley say
We plondered dem ! -
A NEW dish is grape leaves fried in
m egg batter. 1t is called French
dish, and is imported from Lake Mo-
hopac. We can't think of anything
that would be more delicious than fried
grape leaves, unless it is circus pos
ter on toast.
AN Episcopal clergyman meeting
Barnum, the Snowman, the other day.
after inquiring for his health, physical
and spiritual, said:
"Barnum, ! always liked you. You
are good fellow, and I trust we shall
meet in heaven"
go" eaid the lmperturbable show
man, with twinkle of his eye, II
have no doubt We shall-if you are
there"
Two neighbors living in Westchester
county had long and envenomed liti-
CATION about a small spring, which
thcy both claimed. The Judge, wea.
ried out with the case. at last said:
''What is the use of making 80 much
fuss about q little water7" "Your
Honor will see the use of il" replied
one of the lawyers, "when I inform
you that the parties are both milk
| men !"
BEAU BRuMAdE1 had q friend, 4 cler-
gyman, who sometimes dined with him.
Brummel used to say that he could al
ways tell whether there was going to be
champagne by the way the clergyman
asked the blessing. If the GLASSES in
Dictated only claret or sherry he would
say, " For what we are about to re.
ceive" ETC.; but if they betokened cham
payne he would shut his eyes and COM
mence with "Bountiful Jehovah"
Ar old woman, who died the other
day at Lowell, Mass, was giving orders
for her funera and among other
things said she wanted to be "laid
out" in her black silk gown, and they
must not take out the back breadth at
they did when Sally Smith was laid
out. "For," said the old lady, depre'
catingly but seriously, "what figgel
Sally will cut at the resurrection with.
out any back breadth in her gowu."
THERE is more than one way Of
"talking on the subject of religion, y
and better way, evidently, than the
old English lady had found whose hus'
band was wasting under lingering
disease. The rector expressed hope
that she sometimes spoke to him of the
future. II do, indeed, sir. Otter
and often I wakes him in the night
and says, "John, John, you ittlt
thinks OF the torments as is preparing
for. YOU"
THERE is a capital story of two emf
nent physicians who, in the reign O.
George l., cured or killed on rival anG
opposite theories of medicine, ant
whose hostility ended in q challeng,
and duel with small swords. DR.
Woodward, as we remember the story
disarmed and overturned his opponent
and with the point of his weapon di
rected against the throat of his antago
mist, Numbered out, Now, you scoun
drel, beg your life |" The heroic repl,
of the PROSTATE doctor always i'm
pressed upon us as an instance of iron,
carried up to the sublime. "Beg m,
life!" he gasped; II wouldn't do it
even if I had the misfortune to be you
patient!"