Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-08-31
The Yallcr Dog.


When Noah disembarked ut Ararat |
he had scarcely touched the pier when
he proceeded 10 tally his passengers.
He had Just checke ed his last item in the
list-a Mr.. and Mrs. Bedbug- when the
cringns figure of a quadruped came
sneaking down the gang plank, with
his tail between his legs. " Drat it if
there amt that yaller dog says Noah,
aiming vicious kick at the brute with
his brogtn, But, with facility both of
long and bitter experience, the brute
lodged the projectile, and circulating
Ski yi'-which is Syriac for declining
with thanks" or mot for joe he dis
appeared, while Noah, who had his sea
legs on, was unable to recover his
equilibrium, and sat down with en-
phasis on the back of his head.
Noah arose, and, in accordance with
the style prevalent among the patrirachs,
he proceeded to soothe his atfronted
dignity by pronouncing u variegatcd
anathema upon the yalIcr dog, which
had Enthusiastically sneaked unob-
served on board, in the confusion of
putting to sea, and capsized the captain
at the first port. He cursed that dog in
body, limb, bark, hair, tail and wag;
and kindred by consanguinity or affinity,
and his heirs and assigns. He cursed
him endless hunger, with perpetual fear,
with perennial lazness, with hopeless
mango, with his tail between his legs
He closed his stock of maledictions by
asparkling display of pyrotechnics, from
the demorallzing effect of which the
yaller dog has never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like a
revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't
help being "cussed" He don't try to
help it. lie follows Noah's programme
with sneaking fidelity. He is an Ish
maelite among dogs. He receives tn,
most oppressive courtesies, in the form
of brick bats, boots and hot water
which makes his life all animated tar
get excursion. He boards round like ;
school teacher, and it is me Il time witt
him TIVE nty-four hours in the day. TIL,
rest ofhis time he bankers attersomcthin,
to eat. He is too omniverous for al
epicure. Cram him at Demonico's, ant
he would hunger for dessert from al
Albany boarding house.
He can't be utilized He is too tired
AS a swlll-cart locomotive, a hunter
sentinel, he is an ignominious failure
Inc dog churn was a strategic attemp
to employ his waste energies, and butte
had too much self-respect to "come" a
his persuasion. So the dog churn wa
dropped.
The sausage maker dares to fereclos,
MS lien on the yallcr dog, lest his Gus
tomers-no longer "soothed by an un
1alterlng trust'-transfer their patron
age to some less audacious dealer. Tn,
savages, who admire baked dogs, an,
who can even attack tripe and explor,
the mysteries Of hash without dism.v
acknowledge the yaller dog to be to-
much Tor their gastric intrepidity.
lie always manages to belong to
ragged, tobacco. chewing, whisky drink
ing master, whose business is swonnin
dogs and evading the dog tax. Th
yalier dog is acquainted with himself
ana he enjoys the intimacy with edify
ing contempt. He sinks along throur]
lie on diagonal dog trot, as if in doub
as to which end is entitled to prece
dence: He is always pervaded by
hang'dog sense of guilt, and when p.
trioutiVe TIN ware is fastened to hi
tail, he " flies from the wrath to come
with Mortified celebrity which ought /
be very suggestive to two-lesced slime,
OF similar ordeal in store for them
The yaller dog is-well, to sneak i
italics, he is a SLouch.