Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-02-14
Pith and Point.

A WILLING mind-the generous tesla
SOME people at a crowded evening
party have bellies on their toes. It gen
orally hurts them.
ssPARTTNG is such sweet sorrow"
particularly with a cracked looking
glass and a toothless comb. '7
/, A WOMAN lecturer says woman's
sphere is bounded on the north by her
husband, on the east by her baby, on
the south by her mother-in-law, and on
the west by maiden aunt.
be A THEOLOGICAL student wishes to
know if the canons of the church are
what the poets term +" Heavens artil-
lery." ff3zit17a Fans-.-+ a.a.tl
If you like practical joking just in
troduce two strangers, previously in
TO ming each that the other is deaf :;
but don't stand round.
A, VICTIM of Greeley's handwriting
says: eff Horace had written that in
sciption ON the wall in Babylon, Bel
shazzar would have been good deal
more scared than he was. y a#}..at .
A DRovER, who sells cattle by live
weight, always gives them as much
water as they will drink before driving
them on the scales. 'EThat,' he says,
f" is what I understand by watering
stock. s.E...--. LII .......-
The Chicago Post says: &C Beniamin
Franklin was 1876 years old yesterday.
He appeared last evening, at a spiritu-
alist1c seance, took up a copy of the
Times, and glanced through it, hoped
UP and exclaimed; And I invented the
printing press. What an ass [ was = "
JOHN G. SAKE is responsible for the
following paraphrase from Martial:
Your nose and your eyes your father gave,
you say, -E#s-
Your mouth your grandsire, and your mother
F. meek
Your file expression; tell me now pray,
Where in the name of Heaven, you got your
cheek?
PUNcH's mental philosophy: What
is mind2 No matter What is matter2
Nevermind. What is the nature of the
soul It IS immaterial.
r "Those who buy tombstones of us
look with pride and satisfaction on the
graves of their friends, is the adver-
tisement of Western stone cutter.
l5 A BACHELOR sea-captain, who was re-
marking one day that he wanted good
chief officer, was promptly informed
by a.young lady that she had no OBJ
jeetions to be his first mate. He took
the hint-and the LADY, -a.- ..--,
-uoOswEGo colored conversation: EtI
say, Baz,i wheredo de comet rise at?"
6 Lit. rises in de forty-second meridian
of de frigid zodiac, and laid down in de
comic almanac a"Well, where does
it set Baz 2"s5s Set, you black fool, it
doesn't set nowhere When it gets
tired of shining, itgoesinto its hole."2
A GENTLEMAN in search. of a man to
do some work met on his way a highly
respectable lady, not as young as she
once5was and asked her, "Can you tell
me where I can find a man ?'' D "No, [
cannot," she replied, "for / have been
looking these twenty years for one my
self" : ,ge 6afa - nr -asa@
. Tins is what the Boston Traveller
says: "The Hartford Post is again
swapping at the Traveller. John, hand
us that squirt gum" And this is what
the Boston Postsays in return: CHOW,
then, the Boston Traveller is going to
have some editorial matter. They've
sent John for the editor''
.'SMADAM," said cross-tempered
physician to a patient, IF women were
admitted, to paradise their tongues
would make it purgatory" "And
some physicians, if allowed to practice
there, y replied the lady, "wouId make
it desert. y The oppressed one had
him there
BRANToA1E thus enumerates the quail
tiles Of female beauty, "Three white
attractions, the skin, teeth and eyelids;
three red, the lips, cheeks and nails
three long, the body, hair and hands;
three, short the teeth, ears and feet;
and three broad, the chest, forehead
and space between the eyes"
FANNY FERN writes with reference to
the expensive toys now in vogue:
" THE doll of my bib days was a
.crooked-necked squash, with towel
Tor a dress and numerous progeny of
little cucumbers for babies and I was
Just as happy, and great deal better
contented, than the little girl of to-day
with a 800 Paris doll. :"
The following notice was served
upon anorthern school teacher in Texas
recently, signed by some eight or ten
of the large boys, three of them be-
tween seventeen and twenty years of
age. ''We, the undersigned, REQUIRE
you to treat to bushel of pecans, five
pounds of raisins, and three of candy
If you refuse we will put you in the
deepest hole of water within one mile
of the school-house."
"a A KANSAS papers COW obituary says
" There is not farm wagon in the
country she has not stolen something
out OF, not a gate in town she has not
opened, md the stones that have been
thrown at her would make five miles of
turnpike. ''iz @