The Portland daily press., 1872-07-23


described as one of those most formidable
hirsute appendages that instantly overcomes
young ladies, and in twinkling awes civili-
zation in general. In dimensions it is 10
inches over all, and two inches breadth OF
beam.
Edwin Forrest is rapidly recovering his
health, and will probably resume his pro-
fession next fall
Little boy-'T don't like you, Mr.. Brown /;
my mamma says you are regular sneak"
Mamma-"Good gracious, James, what could
induce you to tell such story? / confess to
saying what pity such noble-hearted mon
as Mr.. Brown has turned out regular cynic.
The dape laesesident of Syracuse
snapped. Ter father, the 9TH
er day, is ear in such a
manner 6culty in extract
ing it. nlQUslOFakld rs finally accom-
plished by boring a hole in the pit with
small drill and then inserting hooked wire
in the cavity.
Themost popular restaurant at present in
New York is one designated ''The Dairy"
where fresh-faced country maids dispense
bread and milk and homemade doughnuts.
st Paul boasts of being a cosmopolitan city
because noble red man perambulated its
streets last Saturday night, with negro dam
sci on one arm aud bare-headed white wo-
man OH the other.
A young man who officiates at one of the
Indianapolis soda fountains, was Mortified at
seeing gaily dressed lady eject monster
quid Of tobacco from her mouth. She held it
in her hand until she finished her soda water,
when she promptly returned it from the
place from which it came, wiped her ruby
lips and departed. So.
"John" writes from Ohio to the New York
Sun: Teaching boys at school that each
one may grow up to be a President of the
United States, am convinced is misschiev-
GUS in its tendency. The men of Ohio have
all been brought up to believe this, and the
result is, it looks now as fevery man was go
ing to vote for himself
d Sterling, Ill.,, has passed an ordinance for
hidden drinking saloohs to use curtains or
screens at their windows. -....
Asix-years-old urchin of Florence recently
appealed to his sire for information as to the
depth Of the ocean, On being told that it
was supposed to be as many as five or six
miles deep in places, he replied, that he
should like to know show in funder the men
that dug it got out"
{ Louisville rejoices in the possession of a
precocious fonr-year oldster, who, being
placed in a closet by his father the other day
for disobedience of paternal authority, instead
of crying put his wits to work to get out.
Calling to his father to come in and see what
he had found, the unsuspecting paterfamilias
walked in, while the four-year-old slipped out
and quickly turned the key, leaving him to
sweat it out. Presently the younster called
to his pa to know if it was hot in there; nor
did he let his prisoner out until he replied in
the Affirmative. 1sitaI sraE WgEL
i, A curious phenomenon has just happened
in Russell county, Va. The rocks around
spring have been cracking and making reports
as loud as guns, and some of them weighing
from four to five hundred pounds have been
thrown up. The people in that section are at
loss how to account for it.
Two Pennsylvania women called for their
husbands at a bar room the other evening
One broke the ice pitcher over her husbands
head; the other satisfied herself with doing
the same for two decanters, but made up for
it by throwing the cat and her kittens into
barrel of cider. These little bursts of play.
fulness over, they took their husbands to their
quiet homes.
All do not know that lemons sprinkled with
loaf-sugar almost completely allay feverish
thirst They are Invaluable in the sick-room.
Invalids affected with feverishness can safely
consume two or three lemons day. A lem
on or two thus taken at ''tea-time'' is recon-
mended as an entire substitute for the ordi-
nary supper Of summer, and viii often induce
. comfortable sleep through the night, and
give good appetite for breakfast.
A young wife, on being lately asked what
she should do in case her husband should fail,
replied: 'Live on arms, to be sure. have
two, and he has two, with my hands at the
end Of them" We will venture to say that
that couple will never fail.
Mr.. Abiel Jewsbury, of Massachusetts,, has
buried three wives, and is still hale and hearty.
He has just ordered from his regular grave
stone man marble slab, which is to be sup
plemented with this complimentary line,
"The best wife ever had"
A bevy of young ladies, while crossing Mill
Greek, at Salem, CAL, by moonlight, thought
they observed goose swimming in the creek,
and began pelting it with stones, when they
were greatly astonished to hear the aforesaid
goose cry out: "Why can't you let fellow
alone? I amt botherin' you folks any.
A resident medical officer is required for the
birmingham and Midland Hospital, England.
1t has been decided that lady physicians may
offer themselves as candidates. This is the
first appointment of the kind that has been
opened to ladies in that country.
A Swede named Swan Peterren of Sioux
City, Iowa, recently sent the passage money
to his wife in the old country, with request
that she should join him in his new home.
After three months delay he received word
from her that she and her brother had Joined
the Mormons, and were on their way to Salt
Lake, and advising him to meet them at Oma-
ha and go too. Now, while Peterren longed
for the wife of his bosom, he had no desire
to become "saint," or that she should,
either. Accordingly he came to Omaha pre-
pared to kidnap his own wife if necessary.
The story spread and crowd assembled at
the depot, where on the arrival of the train,
a lively fracas ensued, between the citizens
and the Mormons, in which the latter were
defeated and the wife secured to her husband.
She has since become resigned to the situa-
ton and expresses her entire satisfaction with
the result.
Beau Brummel had one friend who was a
clergyman, and when the latter was guest at
his table he was accustomed to say grace-a
formula generally dispensed with on other oc-