The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-08-30


WHAT is the most like horses foot2
A mares
WILD oats are the only crop that
grows by gaslight.
A rLIRT's heart is like an omnibus-it
always has room for one more.
Which eat most grass, black sheep or
white? White, because there are more
of them.
WHAT is that which every living be-
ing has seen, but never will see again
Yesterday.
SINGLES saws that the most thrilling
tale he ever listened to was that of a
rattlesnake.
The police are said to be like the
rainbow because they never appear till
after the storm.
They allude to bald-headed persons
in Colorado as 'persons with their heads
above timber-line."
IT you let the cat out of the bag,
never try to cram it back again; it only
makes matters worse.
Why is it important for physician
to keep his temper? Because if he did
not he would lose his patients.
A CERTAIN minister once took for his
molnipg text, aye are of your father,
the devil''-and in the afternoon, un.
consciously, "Children, obey your pa
rents"
Forty. SEVEN thousand persons die
annually in England of consumption,
which the London Telegraph calls "a
scourge, compared to which cholera is
| a Jest and war a diversion.
A MECHANIC in a Vermont village put
out placard. 81 Will Not Trust No
More" whereupon his rival across the
street put over his shop door the words,
Trust Here Forever" Could competi.
ton do more?
IT was brilliant Fond du Lac boy
who, seeing dog with muzzle on for
the first time, exclaimed: "Mamma,
mamma, | bet five cents the dogs are GO
ing to wear hoop skirts; there goes a
dog with one on his noseT
"Now, my boy" said a committee.
man, ''if had mince pie and should
give two twelfths to Isaac, two-twelfths TO
Harry, two.twelfths to John, and should
take half the pie myself, what would
there be left? Speak uploud--loud, so
that the people can hear you." The
plate!'
The other day a little boy who had
cut his finger ran to his mother and
cried, tie Il up, ma, tie it up quick,
for the juice is all running out? The
same urchin, on one of the late excess
sively hot days, appealed to his mother
for help, saying. "Ma, do fix me up, Tor
I'm leaking all over"
SAL, Anna to her lover, Augustus,
why art thou so dull? Is there nothing
that can animate thee ?" With look
of fond and deathless devotion beaming
upon his countenance, Augustus re-
Piled, "None but thee can Anna-mate
me, darling. Speak! Wilt thou?' She
spoke, and the cup of his animation
was filed to overlooking
"CAN you lend me five hundred dol
lars 2" asked city Top of an old bank.
er. "What security can you give me Z"
"My own personal security" "Very
well; get in here" said the banker, lit.
ing the lid of large iron chest. "What
do you want me to get in there tor I!
exclaimed the fop, drawing back in
alarm. because that's where | keep
all my securities" grimly replied the
banker; whereupon the fop hastily with
drew.
A SOLDIER was seen in the trenches
holding his hand above the earthwork.
His captain asked, "What are you do
ing that for, Patg' He replied with a
grin and working Of his fingers. u
am feelin' for = furlough, sureP just
then a rifle ball struck his arm below
the wrist. Slowly drawing it down, ana
grasping it with the other to restrain
the blood, queer expression OF PAIN
and humor passed over his face, az ne
| ..l.:.ol IA -, ca;tl, $40 a discharge !"