Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1872-02-20

The Fat Contributor" in some rCcollec-
tions of "Artemus Ward" tells the follow
ing good story
In the spring of 1850 accepted preferred
editorial position on the Cleveland National
Democrat, and renewed my acquaintance
with "Arlemus'"
On the first evening Of my arrival he vol
untcered TO show me around-a very dcsir-
able achievement, as / was 10 fill the
position Of city editor. lie "showe1 me
alound" SO successfully that about two
o'clock in the morning, l began to feel
almost as much 1T home in Cleveland as
though had lived there all my days, 10 say
nothing oil my nights. "Arlemus" invited
me to share hls bed with him for the balance
Of the night, and I accepted.
Adjoining his room lodged a.youug pro-
iessor oil eloculion, who was endeavoIing to
establish school in Cleveland. He was
Just starting out in business, and was
naturally anxious 10 piopitate the press.
Lets get the Professor up" said Arte-
mus, "and have him recte tor u.s."
| demonstrated with him, reminded him
OF the latentss Of the hour, that wasn't
acquainted with the Professor and all that,
but TO no purpose.
"He is a public mar" said Ward" aud
public men are glad 10 meet members OF the
press, as restaurants are supposed TO get up
warm meals, al all lOuIb.
He gave thundeIing rap on the door as
be shouted:
professor r.r 7"
"Who thereH What yer wanit" ciicd q
mufled voice, evidently from lenca,h the
bed clOthee, for Il was bitter cold night in
February.
at is I-Blown, of the Plain Deatsr, "
said Arttmus, and nudglng me gently in tie
ribs, lie whispered: "Tharll fetch him. The
power ol The press is inyireible II Is the
Arohimedean lever which"
His remarks were interrupted by the
opening OF the door, and l could just dis
cover The dim outline Of shifted form
shivering in the doorway.
Excuse me ior distui bing you, Professor,
said Artemus, in his blandest manner, "but
am anxious 10 introduce my friend here,
the new "local" Of the Democrat. He has
heard much ol you, aud declares positive he
can't go 10 he'd until he hears you elocute. u
"Hears ne whatY" asked the Professor
between his challering teeth,
"Hears you elocuts-re declaim- un-
dersandP-specimen Of your elocutlon."
In vain did the professor plead the late
ness OF tie hour, aud his fire had gone out
Aittmus would accept no excuse.
"Permit me, at least" urged the PROBES
sor, "io put on some clothes and light thu
gas. :"
mot al oil necessary, Eloquence, nay
dear boy, is not dtpenden; on gas Here,
(straightening up chair he had jus
stumbled over,) "gei right up in this chai
and give us The boy stood on the burning
deck adding, in n side whisper In my
ear, "The burning deck VIII warm hiu
upl"
Gently, YET firmly, did Artemus boost lht
reluctant Professor upon the chair, protest
ing that no apologies were necessary for Ii
appearance, Rnd assuring him that ''clothe
didn't make tie man. although the SILVER
ing disciple Ol Demoslhenes and Cicero pro
baby though clothes would make a NAL
more comfortable on such a night as that.
BE gave us "Casabanca' with goot
many qulvers OF the voice, MS he stood qUak
ing in a single sholt white garment; ant
then followed "On Linden when the sui
waa low, "Sword of Bunker Hill, etc, 'bl
particular request oi our irCnd,' as Artemu
Wurd said, alll ough was TOO neatly sutti
Gated with suppressed laughter 10 max
even q last dying request lad il been neces
sary. II was too ludicrous 10 depct-th
Professor, an indislipct white object, stand
ing on the Chair "elocuung," as Ward ha'
il, arrive sitting on the floor holding Ou
side Atie Artemns Ward would iulntl
wiz ~ ween lis pangs OF mirlh. Jus
5# Wards Learl TO have his fun .
the Asse Of another wi hout Iecompens'
go, nd#day, remember, he published
lengthy and entirely serious account oil ol
visit 10 the Professors room, spoke oi b
wonderful powers as an eloeutionist, an
EXPRESSED the satisfaction ind delight VIII
Which we listtrCd 10 his 'untqualled Iecita
tons.' The Professor was oveTjoYed, an
probably is ignorant 10 this day that Arteml
was playing 1t on him.