Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-10-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

England is getting short of horses,
The Washington Treasury employs
1,l90 women.
Lies are hiltless swords which cut the
hands of those who WELD them.
Vanderbilt won $4,000 this summer
at Saratoga, playing euehre.
Room for improvement is probably the
largest room in the world
Allowing swain in Maine dedicated a
napkin ring: ITO my almost wife.
There are in Switzerland, l,556.00o |
Protestants, against l ,664,655 Catholics.
A Chicago poet began an apostrophe
to the ocean with: "Prodigious damp
ness y saHas rl8.ltsfa %n
Out West when a lazy man is seen at
work, they say he is meddling with In
dustry. @a e oT4
A Westerner who went for doctor is
picturesquely said to have lit out into,
space like an antelope.
A piscatorial party is what they call
it now. When we were a boy they call
ed it "goin' a fishing"
Gold is once more declining, owing to
the judicious action of the Treasury
Department.
The passionate are like men standing
on their heads; they see all things the
wrong way.
We shall see stars shining through the
riffs in sorrows darkest clouds, If our
eyes are turned toward Heaven.
The King of Spain is the only mon
arch in all Europe who drinks neither
wine nor anything that can intoxicate.
When a single man is seen blushingly
carrying piece of stovepipe and
square of oil cloth what does it mean?
An aged lady in Indiana, who had
been blind for fifteen years, woke up the
other morning with vision fully restored.
The new diet for babies in France is
butter-milk, thickened with rice meal,
on which it is said they thrive and grow
fat
If any small boy knows any poetry
about October, now is the time to fill up
the pages of his composition by quot
ing it.
Mice harm the cheese, but girls charm
the he's The same is true of their re-
spective eating of cheese and cheating of
he's.
Somebody says that every cord of wood
given to the poor is recorded above. But
it does not require many angels to make
the entries.
The Emperor of Germany is a Prot
estant; the Emperor of Austria is a Ro-
man Catholic, and the Emperor of Rus
"i- i--of tho oiooh church.
The happiness of the human race in
this world does aHat fBaaRsift SGT Isl of ngesfning
to command them.
An Irishman watching baptism wa;
asked what he thought of that religion
"Faix, I'd rather be hung than drowned
any day." said he, Immediately.
A Michigan man of sixty lately cele
brated his wedding and dropped dea
from heart disease few moments afte
the ceremony.
1t has been truthfully said that tn
pleasantest things in the world are plea
ant thoughts and the greatest art
life is to have as many as possible
A workman in an Albany shoe she
le, had his fingers crushed by heeling m
chine; now he is looking after healiI
IS, contrivance of different kind.
Moving water is said always to pc
sess a peculiar fascination, and sen
mental individual thinks that in no fol
is the influence of the fluid so potent
in that of woman's tears.
A Louisville lady who weighs OF
ninety-fve pounds. has a baby, only t
months old, that weighs fifty pounds.
She calls it, instead of the old man,
better half.
A Scotch lady has this year destroy
$4,000 worth of wine in her cellar
principle, but great many persons W
no principle at all have destroyed m
try than that.
A GAINESVILLE Alderman was asked
estimate the damage cow had done
yard. He did so, literally. He
'st then introduced to his own cow as
author of the mischief Tableau, in
spersed with profanity.
Dom Plat has been to Cincinr
where he found an intelligent colo
man black as the hinges of midni
This is darkening counsel with w
fearfully. We fear we shall never
oeak, able to swing through that simile.
Greeley has special Pullman Pa
|, car to haul his little chasm in. v
Grant travels in a Pullman car the |
ties of the country are in danger
despotism is at our DOORS Texas
publican.
os+ The St. Louis Journal says that
iail authorities have decided to re
tt the prisoners for good behavior by a
ing them to read the Journal, while
condemned to solitary confinement
May? be compelled to peruse the Missoui
publican.
Milwaukee enjoys its own fat w
Her name is Preagar. and Fair
hardly does her justice at 535 pc
She girths five feet eleven inches
the bosom, five feet two around the
Day." two feet four around the arm and
Nav she laughs her chin wrinkles dowr
the dark like cellar stairs
When DIR. johnson asked the
Porter to be his wife, he told her C
/; ly that he was of mean extraction
he had an uncle hanged. The
replied that she cared nothing for
il day." rentage, that she had no money
and though she had not a relative
pure: ed she had fifty who deserved hi
bright: So they made a match of it.