The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1872-02-03
COMMUNICATION.
JoHNsrowN, Jan. Goth, 1872

10 the Editor Of the Cambria Freeman:
DEAR SLR-lt has been remarked by wise
pect to be spattered with filth, whether he is
Nanquished or not. This maxim l have long
hhoWn and appreciated: nevertheless, there
are occasions when it must he disregarded. a
man may be attacked i'll such way that he is
risk OF being contaminated blythe unclean beast.
IN lhls last position ! find myself placed with
HTISPect 10 the fellow who signs himself m. Z.
N ~. IN your last issue. Ills latest etuson over
lows, Lows Win words. the vilcness of which is only
Penned them. 1t has been remarked, that i'll n
discussion he who first loses his temper and is
opprobrious cpithetS at his opponent, has inya-
rlaoiy got the worst of the argument. 1t is also
W.3rthy of mention here, that the lowest and
Ellest OF vile characters that wallow in the reel-
liiE sIuElS OF large cities can Outface respect
oylng vulgar cpithets. | have no ambition to
We with this fellow in his vulgarity, and must
sell TO the level upon which his last communi-
niS GaIion places hirass remarking, however, that
Mule ne cIallns TO be, and probably is, an Irish
man. ms last letter lends probability TO the
sufinlSe that his ancestors were at some time
SHhn1ged Htg In the fish business in Billingsgate
r, He has furnished two lines of ''shamus o.
brlen Invested of brogue as specimens. They
are are very beautiful. do not exactly under
stilnd by what process this divesting of broyue
IS aGcompllShed but have been informed that
~ ~. d ~ naS invented machine which he calls
ms Patent Sclf-LUbricBting Brogue Extractor,
Mhlcn Ioes the work to perfection, line after
just ike inks of sausage from patent suffer.
A4d 36eDg by gar the whole world gave it into hi
Very ffIse, indeed, and if called upon for an
objection don't know that | conld find one,
except that the second and third words sound
something like Frenchman's first effort in
LhgIish profanity; for an illustration of which
see the closing lines of The Frenchman and
the Flea Powder:
'Ah. madame sill yous plait attendez youS-
WIN tnlS Ieetle ting explain to you:
Ny poTdare gran! magniffque! why abuse him?
Aha L show you how to use him.
EIfst' yon must wait until you catch de flea,
i'eH Di Tickle tickle ! on dc petite rib, You see,
ana Wlen e l9ugh-aha he Ope his throat:
Den poke de p 'udare down-by gar! he choke"
=. Now, MIR. Editor, for PHYS sake don't send
tins number of your paper to any of your
French subscribers. for candor c0mpeIs me to
admit that my knowledge of French is not per-
Iect, ana L might be as unfortunate in it as |
have been in my brogue. If some peripatetic
french pcddIer, engaged in the questionable
business OF diSpOSing of traitOrous biographies,
should take oflense and proceed to hurl column
after column of polyglot billingsgate at my
ncii or Inc next SIX weeks, should be undOne
indeed This chaSte and elegant writer classes
me with the asScnine tribe. presume / ought
not NOT TO DOUBT the correctness of this claSsifica-
tlon, and feel disposed to accept 1T as correct,
ior the gentleman seems so thoroughly familiar
authority. IN fact, iackasses ana brogue seem m
10 be his best hold But he also says, in an
other place that have proved recreant 10 the
teachings of my youth" No jackass was ever
known to prove ''recrcant to the teachings of
ms youth In truth, your jackass and the
learned gentleman himself are the most com
mon and conspicuous examples of consistency
are IN iact, the only pair o. noble beasts
I that never change their minds. There's some
mistake. VIII he rise to explain?
lie lntimateS that my ears are-l long; and. if
his CLASSIFICATION is correct, this is not to be
wondered at. l wish, however, to demonstrate
to him that they are as acute as Iong-as ISefuI
as ornamental. Some weeks ago / happened
into a store on Main street. where | saw Mr. N
+: NJ. trying to buy Valise-he called it Il boiO
| happened afterwards to speak of this remark
able pronunciation OF the simple word bag
by one who, according to his own account, is
! the well of English undcfiled,' and few davs
afterwards Il friend, who was present on the
/ occasion referred to, handed me parody on
/ 'keiSer, don I you want to buy dog?' entitled
| 'Mahcr, don you want to buy boi9I' This
! remarkable poem needs only TO be passed thro
! the Patent Sclt-l4ubTicating BrOgue Extractor
/ to be perfect; and when this has been done it
VIII be, by all Odds the tinest thing in the noe
/ try line that has ever originated in J JohnStown,
/ not even excepting the Fairy Queen" 1t is
I my intention to recitc this poem in a number
of places, but first in JOhnStOwn. As soon as it
has been successfully put through the ina chine
+ will announce the time and place. and | will
/ also send Mr.. Al. p NJ. free ticket. | regret
+ that want of space prevents me from giving
/ this gem in full. The following are its opening
/ lines:
/ Naher, don't you want to buy a bOig2-
! 1t holds dale ~ mate,