The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-10-04

I
Greeley. there is but one way to save
his estate. Get out a writ of lunacy.
ANY Court will grant it on ia statement
of the case.
Here is a good business-like epitaph:
-"Hele lies Jane Smith, wife of
Thomas Smith. marble cutter. This
monument was erected by her husband
as tribute to her memory and spec
linen of his work. Monuments of the
same style $3.50"
A scllool-bov going ont Of the play
ground without leave, one Of his mas
ters called after him and inquired
where he was going. Il am going to
buy cents worth of nails" "What
do you want a cents worth OF nails
for?" For Il cent" replied the
young>ter.
A broom With heavy handle was
sent as a wedding gift to bride, with
the following sentiment:
This tritling gift accept from me,
It's Use I'D recommends:
In sunshine use the bushy part,
In storm the other end.
A young man rode ten miles in a
railway carriage with young lady
with the intention ofpopping the ques-
tion. but all he said was, 1T is quite
moony tonight" Yes, " she replied,
"muchly.' And there wasn't anoth-
er word said.
"Uncle Charles" said Jimmy. a
six-year old, the other day, ''can you
tell me why the sun sets in the West
at night and rises in the morning 90
"Pshaw," said Uncle Charles, ''the
first fool you meet can tell You that"
''Yes Uncle, replied the sweet boy,
''that's why asked you."
At certain school In Green county,
Iowa, the scholars caught a skunk and
put it in the schoolmarm's desk,
thinking that she would smell some
thing and give them holiday. She
wasn't one OF that kind. She took
spring clothes pin, fastened it OIL her
nose. went on with the exercises, and
let the scholars enjoy the perfume.
DIDN'T GIVE IT UP.-0ne Of our
citizens il blessed, Or otherwise, with
a very stubborn wife. In his case, he
finds that when a woman will she will,
you may depend ont, and when she
won't she won't. am that's an end
ont. This peculiar disposition in his
wife is no secret among lis associates,
aud one OF them meeting him the other
day. asked:
"Well--. do you know why you
are like a Donkey"
like donkey!' echoed W
opening his eyes wide. ''No, |
don't.
do you give it up:"
III do"
"Because your better halt is stub
bornnesss itself"
.''rhat's not so bad. Ia. IIa! I'll
give that to my wife when | go home"
Mrs. W." he asked, as he sat
down to supper. do you know why |
am like dbnkey?"
lie waited Il moment expecting his
wife to give it up, but she didn't; she
looked at him somewhat commiserl-
tinglya SHE answered:
Il suppose its because vou were
born so"
W-haS abjured the habit of put
ting connhdrunS 10 his wife.
KAKEs.-l'here are many kinds Of
kake-sone OF one kind, and some not.
The ''ho-kakc" is particularly |
adapted to that kind of society who
have nothing but hoe to bake it on.
1t iSa native Of Westward, no."
Ice kaGe is good enough to weigh
down lemon peels in dog days; also
to hold butter that would otherwise
travel on the plate; also toothache.
Grease kaie, otherwise called
alias ''crulls," is made by
holding hunks Of doe, by the fingers,
III bilin' hot glpase. They are very
common but unhealthy beverage.
Pound kake" is my favorite. |
alwayS aim to get one that runs eigh-
teen to twenty on. to the pound-therc
is more good eating in it orthe mon
ey.
Sponge kakc is like pound kake.
only it is little different, and don't
run so many on. to the pound, though
nm unpaktikal eye would think it the
cheaper kake.
Oil kakcis the squeezins of oil
mill, They are good for cows milk
and fat horses. 1t Is never knoed In a
well-pgulated dairy, as II makes the |
hair too slick, and rain having no ef-
teCt on the milk.
"Bride's kake." / don't know
much about this kake, as never was
! bride. But suppose they make 1t
very sweet. !