The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-07-12

Can DE SOou quarter or IL WOul
pass.
e Grace Greenwood is exploring
S the Yosemite Valley, with an ad
f monitory heel on either side o
, the blasted mule.
I Chauncey Barnes, of Ohio, an
nounces himself the nominee o
''the spirit of the Lord of Hosts
for the Presidency.
A Hartford three-years old con
soled his little sister, by remark
ing, "Mamma, don't cry! If Mel
lie wants to die. let her de-
The Norrlstown Herald thinks
that Walt Whitman must have
been born a poet, for if he had
}, been made, he would certainly
have been = better one.
There are some rich men even in
rugged Scotland. The Bairds
who stand at the head of the iron
masters there, make clear profit
annually of $2,5OO,00O.
| There is q girl in Minnesota,
only eighteen years of ase, who
by herself and two boys runs q
farm of over two hundred acres.
She put $500 in a st. Paul bank
| last year.
The Hartford Post invokes leg
| islative interference for the pro
lection and propagation of the
"contemplative frog" as if there
were not "croakers" enough in the
world already.
An unreconstructed Georgian
recently undertook to brain a ne
gro with the butt end of his gun,
but the conclusion discharged the
piece into his own bowels, killing
him instantly.
Harry" said q mother to her
little boy, '.you shouldn't throw
away nice bread like that; you may
want it before you die" "How
couldI get it, though, if l cat it
nowT Harry asked.
A negro preacher observed to
his hearers at the close of his SER
mon, as follows: "My obstina
cious bredren,I find it no more use
to preach to you dan it IN for
a grasshopper to wear knee
buckles"
Those thirteen old maids who
went to Wyoming from Vermont a
few weeks ago, thinking them
selves sure of husbands, are going
to sue the Territory for breach of
promise, IS they are still unmar-
ried. gu.
The intelligence that Brigham
Young has suddenly quit marry
ing will be received with doubt.
He IS not a man upon whom such
8 reform could be wreaked all at
once. If he concludes to go out
of the business, he will taper off
gently.
Tennessee Claflin has been pre-
sented with a pair OF Mexican
spurs. with rowels as large as a
silver dollar, to stimulate the fiery
steed she will ride at the head of
her regiment. The spurs will
penetrate the equine TANKS from
opposite directions.
It is estimated that New York
City has lost resident population
at an average rate of $4,000 per
year for the past five years, or an
aggregate of at least 125, 900, all of
whom might have been kept at
home if the quick transit problem
had been earlier solved. AS it is,
the adjacent cities are rapidly
growing at the expense of the
metropolis.
Divorce parties are coming into
fashion in Chicago. At festival
of this kind the other day the
newly made widow received the
congratulations of friends and
relatives with as much pleasure rs
wonld newly welded wife after
the ceremony of marriage. A
handsome edivorce cake" was one
of the features of the occasion.
There were also some highly sug-
gestive presents.
Strauss, during his brief soiourn
in the United States, has got the
impression that the Americans are
all eNtravagantly rich people, who
fling money ut the feet of foreign
artists without asking questions.
He is also under the impression
that colliseums and jubilees are
Irregular things here. Two or three
I managers are after him, and Fred.
Rullman has engaged him to con-
duct a series of concerts in New
FORK for $4,000 u night.
Olive Logan is out with her new
book, ''Get Thee Behind Me, Sa-
/ TAM" and the critics are after it.
Early in the volame Mr.. Lucifer
considerably accedes to her re-
quest and takes up fortified posi-
ton at her rear, which gives her
the coveted opportunity to devote
the remainder of the book to a
| public lecturer named Olive Lo-
gan. She tells how Mr.. Writ
Skies regards Olive as an angel,
and how she regards Writ IS an
exalted seraph, and parades the
Ijoys of her welded life at great
length.
| Self-styled noblemen are haunt
ing the seaside resorts.
| Sacramento is offering Sacra-
mental wine at % cents per gal
| Ion. 30 ia
Ten thousand perspiring Gotha-
mites HE to Coney Island each re-
curing Lords day.
/ Dobs thinks he could sing SWAY
Down on the Old Tar River" if he
could get the pitch.
1 Eight thousand gallons of wine
and a -trifie of brandy will be
squeezed out of California this
year.
| Vermont boasts that half tho
| slate pencils used in the world
are made in the Green Mountain
| State.
i Representatives of Republican
America continue to apply fol
patents of nobility to Kaiser Billy
i Rhode Island was struck by
/ lightning the other day, causing
] widespread devastation in adjoin
ling States.
r. A lively demand for American
leutlery has sprung up in Cuba. i
| is forwarded in the shape of bayo
l1inets. Eoi l d
81 A California horse has learned