Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-07-12
A Golden Sentence.

WE have spoken several times against
too stern a government in the family.
| But there is another sort even more OBJ
iectionable. 1t is what one might call
contentious government, There are pa
rents that contend with their children in
a sort of parental willfulness over every
point which concerns their right. II is
not that they are not aifectionate, it is not
that they lack tender sympathy with
/ their children, it is not that they are arbi-
trary; but that they are simply little
oyer.eXacting, a little too contentious, and
that certain evils are almost sure to follow
this unhappy sort of management.
In that admirable work on the educa-
ton of children, published nearly half a
century ago, and crowned by the French
Academy, and crowned by the suffrages
of the most discriminating Judges from
that day to this--in Madame Guizots
''LettreS de FdmiHe sur pEducdti0n" is a
sentence that should be impressed on the
mind of every one who has to do with
children, a sentence worthy to be written
in letters of gold. The fact stated is no
| discovery of Madame Guizot's, perhaps;
at least 1t corresponds with the discovery
of every wise parent But though the
observation has been made in many
shapes, we know not where it can be
| found so well stated as in these forcefu
words of the first Madame Guizot:
"Les tongues bTOuiIeries etdbliSSem n0iRS
Pempire QuelIes ne detrUissent PfRtimite"
No English can say it SO well, but let
us try: ''Long disagreements (between
| parent and child) serve less TO establish
authority than to destroy intimacy"
| Now, let us mark that last word. Intimacy
i hafx o1,1
strange to many father and mother.
| You know that a child should respect
| you, you know that child is in duty
bound to love you, as you are to love
the child. But you have never thought
of the propriety, of the necessity for in
! timacy between parent and child. Since
the days of Solomon, and since the ages be-
! fore Solomon, writers on morals have fully
! appreciated the necessity for obedience
! to parents; but how few have ever under
stood that the parent is bound in duty to
/ be the intimate friend of the child! And
| yet a grain of intimacy is worth a hun
! dred-weight of authority. Let us not
underestimate authority either. We are
no advocates for the weak indulgence
that lets the child go without restraint.
| But intimate and confidential friends hip is
worth infinitely more than all authority.
| When manhood comes, the authority must
cease. But the parent who has the con
! fidence of his child has an influence over
| the child that lasts forever. The strong
man never outgrows the restraint of the
parental influence, if only the intimacy
has been kept up.
! While, tnen, parent should never from
mere Incidence overlook fault that NAV
grow to something worse, whilst parent
should never from mere feebleness WELD
to child, he should seek TO bring every
disagreement to close as soon as pos.
sible; If you must carry your point,
do so as soon as possible il
you must intlict punishment let
it be soon over Get back on to the foot.
ing of good understanding as soon as
may be. There are cases in which hours
are necessary to bring a child. to under.
stand that you are right and he is wrong,
but do not prolong the attitude of an
tagOnism one minute longer than is alb,
solutely needful to the child, remembering
how precious thing iatimacy-the state
of loving confidence is to the best re.
suits in the development of child
There are many enemies to this in.
timacy-a lack of sympathy on the part
of the parent, lack of forbearance and
charity for the child's natural faults, a
stern and forbidding manner, and. in
short, everything that repes Some
parents never make an end. When a
child has committed fault, they never
have done with reproving it, but keep q
rambling fire on the subject for days and
days. Which is an admirable method oi
destroying intimacy, and rendering tho
child es hateful as the parent in such 9
case makes himself-Heqrh and Home,