The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-07-30
The Grand Opening Social Demon.
stratisn for the Gentle Ulysses

lected around the principal speaker,
their breaths redolent of cocktails, ju-
leps, brandy smashes, cobblers, and fine
Havana cigars. Colonel Blaston is the
principal speaker; he has fine person,
dresses faultlessly, is evidently gentle
man of that school Of morals who
thinks God made the world for his ex-
elusive use and enjoyment, or rather for
the class OF sensible men OF which he
is an important member. He and his
class think it highly injudicious, if not
in bad taste, to over>drink or get
drunk, to over-feed or be gluttonous,
or to over.dress or be a dandy ;
for the habitual drunkard, in his
debauches and in the condition to which
il brings his body and mind, must soon
cease to be gentleman; in like man.
ner, gluttony becomes associated with
mere animal qualification, and the as'
thetics of the table are wholly lost; 80
the overdress is unfriendly to the easy
movements OF the body, and causes
too much stiffness and formal care in
avoiding the smoke, ashes and spittle
of the Hiepaniola. Colonel Blaston is
the type OF this class of Long Branch
men. The Colonel in speaking begins
on a compressed note, as if he had to ofill
his lungs to start his voice, and speaks
in measured jerks and deliberate pauses
to make himself emphatic and impress
his hearers. His speech is reported
as nearly as possible, true to life.
COLONEL BLAsToN SPEAKs-(From the
Long Branch Organ)-I like Ulysses,
DO. He knows how to treat gentle
men, he does, and how and to whom to
grant favor. He is rightly named,
for his place, he is, for he has many
favors to gralt, and he bestows them
upon gentlemen, except when he wants
to buy low fellow for some dirty use.
He is a real good fellow, Ulysses is; he
can dine a good fellow and dismiss
snob with a word equal 10 kick that
will crush him, or il it is more prudent
with a promise that will let the fellow
die on the air OF hope, he can. Ulysses
has made a fortune, he has, and spends
it like a gentleman, he does. He has
the finest cigars in the world, he has,
because he's got a Custom House
of his own and neither pays duty
nor price on the aroma Of his His
panias, he doesn't. Smoking is a
social virtue, it is, and Ulysses is
very social in all his virtues, and
enjoys bis golden tips, he does, when
he gets some good fellows around his
table at Long Branch. He loves Long
Branch, he does, for there he is a pri-
vate gentleman and can enjoy his
friends, his table, his cigars, his liquors,
and his superb and matchless bosses,
that tell you he can. He doesn't like
Washington, he doesn't. There he
must see everybody who can pretend
10 have business with him, for every
body wants to save the country, and it
won't do for him to say to everybody
he don't want to save the country, or
to ask what is their business about
if it isn't to save the country, before he
sees them; he can't do it, he cant,
and his only way to escape the
nasty crowd that gets around him
at Washington, is to meet some
good ION rivants on that beautiful
piazza of his which overlooks the
SweiLso Of ocean and the pretentious SrslS
Of society, and enjoy the regaLa, mark
you, the regalia, though he enjoys it
better than king, for when George the
Fourth was Prince OF Wales he was the
most accomplished gentleman in Eu-
rope, but when he became King, the
pomp and formality Of service ruined
him. So at Long Branch Ulysses is
gentleman, every inch gentleman, he
is; but at Washington he must keep
General Dent, or some other bear or
bull dog, between him and these COM
mon fellows, who want to save the
country-that is, ! suppose, that when
they, too, have got StealinS enough to
be worth saving, then the country ought
to be taken care Of, so that they can
keep what they have taken.
The last dinner that l took with
ULYSSES was recherche, and he was in
genial humor, he was. They talk
about Ulysses being drunkard. 1t
may be that in early life as a tanners
son in a country village he was some
what bluff and brusque, and that when
he had gone through West Point and
mixed with that ba,fcut class, the snobs
and swels Of society, he mistook this
for good society and fell into their bad
habits and vices. 1t may be he did,
but when his time come he had the
stuff in him to make fortune and to
use it like gentleman, and I'll venture
my London cbronometer that there
isn't Custom House in the world that
can turn out better liquors than Grants
can do, it does. Grant doesn't get
drunk now, he don't, in company, be-
cause the rules of good society limits
the times, and to some measure. the
quantities to certain rounds at the table
and it is only the weak-headed and the
new men in the r0rd that would be
likely to blunder at such time. Beside
would like to see the man who
could drink Grant drunk, ]
would. When it comes to that, he
can drink any crowd OF gentlemen
| ever saw sat down at a dinner table
| Jhnd, and then order his best pair Of
hosses out Of that capital stud of his,
which is one OF the finest in the world,
aud BY his handling OF the ribands be
the very envy. of every cockney at
Long Branch. He is the King Of
Cockneys, he is, but he isn't cockney,
he amt His Brown county bringing
up iD Ohio saved him from that, il did.
| d.. I1t,H,aou W.