The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-03-22
Counting Twsntr-fus.

found the cherished face Of Ma
ria Ann WTeathed in smiles,the other
evening, when returned from nv
arduous daily toll. Il am engaged
as standing man at a saloon. So
many candidates are treating. that
the saloon keeper hires six Of US to
be treated. We all drink with every
candidate who comes in, and it makes
business pretty brisk.)
Said my chosen one, "Joshua, 1
am afraid you do not always find me
an angel in disposition"
Said /, "that's sO-hic-my dear.
L don't seldom find you 'nangel in
in anything"
"And," she added, ayou are not
always tie most pleasant man in the
word"
1 did not feel called on to reply.
Now said she, "read that
She had cut an item from the
columns Of some paper wherein a
demented writer told about some i'm
possible woman who, being troubled
with bad temper, counted twenty
five every time she got provoked,
and thus became O sweet, amiable
and dearly loved orament Of the
house of her delighted husband. 1
read the article as well as the condi.
tion of my head would allow, and
remarked, "BOsh.'
Maria Ann paid no attention 10
me, but unfolded her plan. She said
that every time 1 go: mad 1 should
count twenty-five, and every time
she got mad she would countt twep-
ty-tive, | asked her who she thought
would pay our rent while we sat and
counted twenty-five, over and over
all day long. Then she said I was
always raising objections to her
plans for our mutual Improvement
and l said was not, and she said /
was enough to try the patience of a
saint, and said she was too the
same for me, and l told her to eount
twenty-five; but she forgot all about
that, and just tailed one in nv left
eye.
Then l was going to demonstrate
with the poker, and she told me to
count twenty-five, and said I would
not; but l did before she pulled
more than half Of my hair out. Then
she made me count twenty-five over
and over, until 1 was out of breath
and felt real pleasant, and good ma
tured. So we went to supper. Now.
the cat was eurled up in nv chair
but l did not see it until sat down:
and l did not see it then, but I was
pretty sure it was there, in fact 7
knew 1t was there as well as I wan
ted to, and more too. I feltinclined
to rise up suddenly, but as l gatberd
to spring she brandished the tea-pot
and murmured; Joshua your tenn
per is rising; count tSenty-five or
III break your head" and that cat
was drawing a map of the Tenth
Ward with her claws around behind
me, with the streets and boundaries
marked in my blood. I rose to ex.
plain, "My dear-I-" but she
on my head with a well
shot teacUp, and sprinkled nv face
with quart of hot tea, aad I sat
lown and counted twenty-five; but
t killed the cat The old fellow
lied hard, though. I could feel him
settle as his nine lives went out one
by one.
A few days practice Of this rule,
lnder the loving instruction of Maria
Ann, has enabled me to conquer nv
'emper completely. Nobody can
get me mad now. / am in a state
Of perpetual calm, and want to see
'he man that wrote that story.
want TO see the man that wrote that
story. 1 want to fit him for the
hands of an undertaken, and make a
demand for mourning goods among
MS friends. Then can die happy
counting twenty-five.