The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14
HOOKS AND EYES.

W NiiuuCoVbo'
When women are 10 arms they never
oppose the liberty Of the press.
Two-thirds OF our Presidents we're
Episcopaliaus.
Only six inches of snow have fallen
in Dakota Territory this winter.
yourself and gentleman" is the way
invitations read this year.
The Smithsoulans deny that forests
promote rainialls.
A jury recently assembled at Read
ing, Pa, the members of which aver
aged 80 years OF age. The youngest
was II and the oldest 92.
Through tickets around the world are
now issued, the price being S1,145 in
gold. and the running time eighty-ope
days.
An Illinoisan drank bottle of drops
prescribed for ear ache. He has never
suffered from ear ache since.
1t is estimated that more than one
sixth of the inhabitants of the Uuited
States are owners Of real estate.
There is boy in New York so bright
that his mother has to look at him
through piece of smoked glass.
A set of paper wheels on a Pullman
car have run 100000 miles, and worn
out their steel tires. Cast iron wheels
will run only 10000 miles.
Look out for mad dogs now, There
is nothing makes dog so mad as to be
compelled to sit out on the doorstep this
weather and howl to get in by the stove.
Mrs. Partingtou does not approve of this
new tangled stuff. diabolic acid but she
is highly delighted to see there is an
anti sceptic.
Frank Blair having declared that "this
time we must have a naked issue," a
contemporary wants to know if the nude
departure will not answer.
An old Indian once SAID, "White
man cheat me once, white mans fault;
white man cheat me twice, Indians
fault"
Al absent minded resident of Dan
bury, Conn. shut down a window, Mon
day. and forgot to draw In his head.
He was calling for Helen B!azes when
discovered.
1t is not bad specimen of practical
sophistry, when one hundred dollars are
made to pay one thousand; by the first
debtor paying to a second, the second to
third, and so on, until the same sum
is paid to a tenth creditor.
A woman in Salem, Indiana, is report
ed to have taken some percussion caps,
which caused her to ''go off, with man
who was not her husband.
In all evils which admit remedy im-
patience should be avoided, because il
wastes that time and attention in COM
plants which, if properly applied, would
remove the cause.
Horse-Aesh is yet the favorte food of
Parisians. On the "a of January last.
twenty large shops we're opened in the
French capital for its exclusive sale, and
Paris physicians warmly recommend it
as the best food for consumptivss.
The Teeth.-Horace Walpole wrote:
use little bit of alum twice or thrice
week, no bigger than half your nail,
till it has all Dissolved in your mouth,
and then spit it out. This has so forti-
fed my teeth that they are as strong as
the peu of Junius / learned it of Mrs.
Grosvenor, who had not speck in her
teeth until her DEATH"
Returns for the past five years of
the American rice crop which is grown
IN the Carolinas, Georgia and Louisiana
show that it has increased from 2O,OO0,-
900 OF pounds in 1866. to 92,000,000
iu 1870, whilst the price has dtcreas'd d
from 49, cents to 8 cents per, pound
during the same period.
japanese auctions are conducted on
novel plan, bn, one which gives rise to
none OF the noise and confusion which
attend such sales 10 America. Each bid
der writes his name and bid upon slip
of paper, which he places in box,
When the bidding is over the box is
opened by the auctioneer, and the goods
declared the property of the highest bid
der
The little busy barkeeper in Boston
eludes the shining law by putting two
barrels Of whisky into molasses punch
con and filing up the puncheon with
moasses. When customer calls. he
pumps whisky out through the buug-
hole; when a constable calls, he ruus
molasses off through the faucet.
A storeSeeper at Quincy, Mich hsv-
ing pup that habitually upset the paint
cans in the rear end OF the store. rubbed
the dogs nose in the split paint as a re-
minder that he must not do so again.
Last week the animal again spilled the
paint, and observing that his master
was engaged in waiting on a customer,
the docile pup rubbed his own nose in
'he mixture, aud ran bowling out the
back way