The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1872-01-20
NOE WESTERS.

uO 8AoSO 8OAu0 NV pVAOss
The put-up job-an auction.
Indian Reservations-scalpe .44.,
.-Laps of time -Old coat tails. qpD I'r
An ihn.vocstion tending bat. I'll ..
"A final report-The crack OF doom. ) /
Tho first Prince Of Walls Jeremiah.
The last name for sausages is Chain
Goods" -ao q. " rat.v ,.a,..nn
This gzAnaesl verse in existence-The
universe ssal sm1 .-.. '-.;,.. t~s.
ID The oonjunctive, mood -Thoughts Of
matrtlnO1y. N 10 +..f - :...-
III 10 better to be flush in pocket than
In oountepsnce. -.
Wendell Holmes calls the human brain
seventy. year clock. 10 >5..' ''
The best band to accompany lady
vocallst-A husband. ''.' 1--WE
"A Newport swain received love letter
sixty seven pages long. ...n.
The pleasantest rim ging in ones ears
That of the dinner.b bell.
1t 10 low enough to live In an attic, bu,
. ground floor 10 basement.
Girls should not try soldiers patience,
because he can stand tease. ; ..r"'...
Mr.. Mustard, of Virginia, lost all his
strength by . fall from horse. '.'
The book to which reference is most fire.
quently made nowadays-the pocket>book.
An Evansville schoolboy defined q
lady TO be - growed-up girl-doesn't cuss
nor awear." ...,.
"A Rochester girl declares she will never
vote. Go to the nasty polls and ruin my
clothes: The idea!
Says DR.. Guthrie: ''lf you want TO keep
dead man, put him in whisky; it you
want to kill living man, put the whisky
into him" '.'' ,"' i
-Mr. Thacker has gone and died in
South Carolina, at the sge Of one hundred
and thirty. eight years.
-Anna Dickinson says: II am .gains,
that man, Grant," If We were that man
Grant, we would move 4 way.-Post
Utah may have it, plural wives, oil
serves Mr.. Quilp, but other parts of the
country has very singular ones. g~
An cnterprising dentist in neighbor
ing city adver,ises, "Get yeur sweetheart a
new Get of teeth o a'Christmas present"
"A Western editor speaks of contem.
porary who is $50 dirty that every time he
goes up stairs there is . rise in real estate.
Are you good at riding ON horse back,
Judge!" ''No," said his honor, II never
backed but one horse in my life, and that
was into shop window"
Name the longest day in the year,
said teacher to . young hopeful of fv'
summers ''Sundsy!' responded the little
man, o.. f. .... ..-.-'...
That Nashville COW who got drunk on
brandy peaches, the Mobile Regisssr thinks,
will probably give milk punch the rest Of
her life a-..41'. 3s.A .r'..:.'.
My darling's shoes" is the last sol
stirring ditty. 1.-THE Ola Mans Boo,s' and
''Big Brothers Caters" will doubtless be
next worked into rhyme and music. s
1T Is presumed Darwin's forthcoming
book on the Facial Expressions Of AMI
mails" is the much tslked:of, but never yet
seen thing that will make horse laugh.
The San Francisco N.vs Letter critical
~ sayx IF poetry was potatoes, Joaquin
Miller would own patch, Bret Hart would
be peeling them for the pot, and John Ha,
would be. pclting them at the piga" ..
"A little boy recently became greatl,
enamored Of little toy trumpet which hat
beeo given him. One night as he was be-
ing put in his little bed" he handed tn
trumpet 70 HE grandmother, saying: ''IIere
gram'n,a you play while I pray -"
"A story j. told at Amherst that the lee
tqrer before the agricultural students, wbe'
explaining grape culture, presented bottl
Of wine made by himself and requested th
q q 10 zip it 70 test Inequality. The bottle
lasted only to the third young mau!
The following con undrum is just q
| new now a. II ever was: What is the differ
enos between the Emperor Of Russia and 1
beggar! The one issues manitest0es ant
the other manifeets toes without his shoes
Stephen Pearl Andrews says 5.that tht
Absolutoid and Ahstractoid ElenenAismus q
Being echoes or reappears BY analogy, with
in the Relatoid and Concretoid Elaboris
mus." We sl,ould judge that the juaturoi
indivduslmusawhe wrote ttnt sentence Va
| 1 condemoide idiotmuA- -Insestgasor.a o.
n-Ali.ile, fapr:yeas old NILS, bearing
aensleman addressed ct hdr fathers Ihoua
u '.Joseph, eyed Rim intent!y fbr while
and fhsn ssked:: t..yas you the MI Joesp
thst Was sod 10 his brsthrepi" .'Yes,"F r.
piled the gentleman, u have been esosd'
great many tines IN my life, my dear
ohl was p 'orE ri far oa yoq'' said N ths lis'l
kindly heart. I.lOt
Ia minister asked little boy who In
been converted, docs not the devil te
yo,d sha. you are not q Christian ''Yea
sonetimssS ssWell. what do you" say
hims" I. I tell him." replied the boy, Wit
something Of Luther's spirit, that. wheth