The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-02-09
Swallowing Oysters Alive.

/
At a late hour. the other night, tn,
door of an oyster house in our city wa
thrust open, and in stalked hero from
the Sucker State. He was quite 81,
feet high, spare, somewhat stopped, will
his hands pushed clear down to thu
bottom Of his breaches pockets. Aftel
taking position, he INDUCED in Ions
stare at the man opening the bivalues
and slowly ejaculated-"Is listers I"
Yes, sir" responded the at .entiye
operator, " and fine ones they are too. y
swell, I've heard Of listers afore, y
says he, but this is the first time I've
seed 'em and prehaps I'll know what
thar made of afore git out of town."
Having expressed this desperate in
tention, he cautiously approached the
plate and scrutinized the uncased she'll
fish with a gravity and interest which
would have done honor to the most
Industrious searcher into the hidden
mysteries of nature. At length he be.
gan to soliloquize on the difficulty of
getting them out, and how queer they
looked when out.
~ never seed anythin' hold on so /;
takes an amazin' site of screwin', boss,
to get them out, and amt they slick and
slip'ry when they does come? Smooth
rs an eel I've a good mind to give
that fellow lodgin', jist to realize the
enects, as Uncle jess used to say about
speculation.
well, sir" was the reply. "down
with two bits, and you can have a
Dozen"
" Two bits ~ exclaimed the Sucker.
4" Now, come, that's stickin' it on strong.
boss, for listers. A dozen on 'em amt
nothin to chicken, and there's no
gettin' more'n q picayune piece for
them. I've only realized forty.ive
picayunes on my first ventur' to St.
Louis. I'll tell you what, I'll gin YOU
two chickens for dozen if you'll con-
clude to deal"
A wag, who was standing by, indulp.
ing in dozen. winked to the attendant
10 shell out, and the offer was accepted.
The bargain being fairly understood, |
our Sucker squared himself for the |
,nset; deliberately put off his seal. |
kin, tucked up his sleeves, and, fork
n hand, awaited the appearance Of No. |
!. 1t came-he saw-and quickly it
vas bolted Amoment's dreadful pause
'nsued. The wag dropped his knife
md fork, with look of mingled amaze
nent and horror-somothing akin to
'hakespeare's Hamlet on seeing his
laddy's ghost-while he burst into the
Swallowed alive, as am a Chris.
ianr'
"Our Sucker hero had opened his
,outh with pleasure a moment before.
ut now it stood open. Fear-a horrid
read of he didn't know what-a con.
,iousness that all wasn't right, and ig-
GRANT of the extent of the wrong-the
ncertainty of the moment was terrible.
'rged to desperation, he faltered out
What on earth's the row?"
Did you swallow it alive ?' inquired
lie wag.
" | swallowed it just as he gin it to
81" shouted the Sucker.
You're dead man u exclaimed his
lxious friend ; "the creature is alive
I'd will eat right through you," added
}, in most hopeless tone.
"Get pizsn-pump and pump it outl t
the Sucker, in O frenzy, his
es fairly starting from their socke cts.
} gracious l-what'll l doY'-It's got L
I'D Of my innards already, and I'm as o
ad as a chicken do somethin' for
3, do-don't let the Internal sea toad =
me mp afore your eyes," 0
!" Why don't you put some of this on p
:" inquired the wag, pointing to a q
tile OF strong pepper. sauce.
The hint was enough-the Sucker. Il
on the instant, seized the bottle, des. u
rately wrenching out the cork, swal p
ved half the contents at a draught
, fairly sqealed from its effects, and q
sped, and blowed. and pitched, and n
lsted, as if it was coursing through
n with electric effect, while at the q
ne timeh his eyes ran a stream CT tears. te
length, becoming little composed, M
waggish adviser approached, almost
rsting with suppressed laughter, and p'
luired Iii
4 kill it?" p,
Well, did, boss-'ugh, ugh 900 at
innards If that lister critters dyin' &C
mics didn't stir a 'ruption in me
,al to a small earthquake, then faint OF
use sayin' tit squirmed like a sar. M
It, when that KILN stuff touched :,
hui" and here with a countenance On
de up Of suppressed agony and va
sent determination, he paused to
Q force to his words, and slowly and ri
lberately remarked, "If you git two
ckens from me for that live animal,
id ~ and selling his seal-skin, he
ished. A
he shout of laughter and the con. wi
ions OF the company at this finale, ur
I'D have made a spectator believe hi
they had all been swallowing oysters an
). gu
------- tn
A Lobby Trick. SCI