The Van Buren press., 1872-11-19
MISCELLANY
Our Fist Nurse.

The following is the first article that
Fanny Fern wrote for tho Ledger II
was Published in the Lsdger Of January
8, lS56-over sixteen years ago. Since
that day she has never failed once to fur.
nish an article for every number Of the
Ledger. Editor ". y. Ledger
Now sit down, and | will tell you all
about it. Charley and l were engaged.
Youth comes but once, you know, and II
We waited to be married until We could
furnish house in fashionable s'yle-
wel you see we knew too much for that +;
we got married. and we left other coup
les to grow gray, If they liked, on the
distant prospect OF damask curtsins,gold
sal. cellars and trains OF innumerable
servants.
Charley did not know the meaning Of
a club house, and the shopkeepers
flashed their diamonds and satins in vain
in my face; never gave them thought,
We had some nice books and some choice
engravings, presented to Charley by an
old antiquary why had.taken fancy to
him. Yeu might have gone into many 4
parlor on which thousands have been
lavished, and liked our all the better
when you came back Still it wanted
somcthing-that we both agreed for no
house can be said to be properly fur
nishcd without baby. Santa Claus,
good soul, understood that, aud Christ
mas day he brought us one, Weighing the
usual eight pounds, and rs lively as a
cricket Such lungs as 1t had Charley
said it was intended for minister.
Well, now i. was all right, or would
have been, if the baby had not involved
a nurse, We had, to be sure. . vague
idea that we must have one, and as vague
an idea Of what nurse was. We thot
her good kind Of creature who under
-.--a Iahylnm and nevsr interfered with
any little family arrangements.
Not a bit Of it
The very first thing she did was to
make preparations to slosp in my room,
and send Charley off into desolate spare
chamber. Charley my Charley whose
shaving operations had watched with
the intensest interest, mixing up little
foam seas of "lather" for him, banding
him little square bits Of paper to wipe
his razor upon, and applying nice bits
Of court plaster when he accidentally cut
his chin, while We were laughing Char
ley! whose cravat had tied to suit my
fancy every blessed morning, whose hair
! had brushed up in elegant confusion,
whose whiskers l had coaksd and trim
med, and-wcll, any one. unless q bach
elor or old maid, who reads this, eau SEQ
that it was perfectly ridiculous.
Charley looked at me, and looked At
him, and then we both looked at the bran
new baby--and there's where she had US
You might have seen ii with half n eye,
as she folded her hands complaosntly
over her apron strings, and sat down In
my little rocking chair opposite the bed.
felt as though l was sold to the Evil
One, as she fixed her basalisk eyes on
me when Charley left the room. Poor
Charley He did not want to 60. lie
neither smoked, nor drank, nor played
billiards; he loved homo and-ms; so
he wandered up stairs and down, sat with
his hands in his pockets staring at the
parlor fire till ho could bear 1t ne longer
and then came up stairs to get comfort
ed. II you'll believe it, that woman
came fussing round the bed after him,
just as he were infringing SEINE OF her
rights and immunitics.
What if he did bring me sly piece OF
cake in his pockst7 Who likes to live
on Cruel forevsr2 What il he did open
tbs blinds and let little blessed sunlight
in, when she tried to humbug us into the
belief that 1T would hurt the baby's
eyes. " because she was too lazy to wips
the dust from the furniture. What II
he did steal ono Of her knitting needles,
whom she sat there, evening after even
ing, knitting round and round and round
that interminabls old gray stocking my
eyes following her with horrid sort OF
fascination, till my nerves were wound
up to the screaming pointi What If !
did tell him that she slways sat her rock
ing chair on that loose beard in the floor
which sent forth that little crucifying
squeak, and that she always said Bless
me y and was always sure to get onto it
again the very next time she sat down
What il | did tell him that when she had
eaten too much dinner, and wanted to
take sly nap, sho would muills the ba'
by up in so many blankets it couldn't
cry il it wanted to, and then would draw
the curtains closely round my bed, and
tell me that f" il WAS high time to TAXA n
nap2' !, who neither by stratsgem nor
persuasion, could ever bc induced to
sleep IN the day time! I, who felt as If
my cyelashes were fastened up to the
roots of my hair, and as il legions OF lit
tie ants were crawling all over me
What il / did tell him that she got up
. skirmish with me every night because
I would not wear a nuisance called a
night cap2 What il did tell him that
she insisted upon putting q siskly pitch
plaster upon my neck, for little ghost
ofa coush--oecasionsd by her stirring
the ashes in the grste too furiously--snd
that whom out generated her, and clasp.
cd It round the bedpost instead, she
IN muttsrsd spitefullv that "a handsome