The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1872-03-06
A Queer Experience.
MARK TwAIN'S FIRST LECTURE.

was home again, in San Francisco,
without means and without employment.
tortured my brain for saving scheme
| Of some kind, and at last public lecture
occurred to inc. sat down and wrote
one, in fever Of anticipation. showed
it to several friends, but they all shook
their heads. They said nobody would
come 10 hear me, aud would make a
humliating failure Of it, They said
that as ! had never spoken in public
would break down in the delivery, any
how. was diScunsolatc now. But at
last an editor slapped me on the back
and told me to ''go ahead" lie said,
"rakc the largest house in town, and
charge a dollar n ticket" The aulacity
Of the proposition was charming; it
seemed lrauaht with practical worldly
wisdom, however, The proprietor Of
the several theatres endorsed the advice,
and said might have his handsome new
opera house at half.rrce fifty dollars.
In sheer desperation took il-on credit, =,
for sufficient reasons. In three days |
did an hundred and fifty dollars worth
Of printing and advertising, and was the
most distressed and frightened creature
on the Pacific coast. could not sleep
who could under such circumstances
For other people there was righteousness
in the Ii &c Of my posters, but to IN, it
was plaintivc with pang when wrote
| it:
"Doors open at half past seven o'clock.
The trouble will begin Mt eight"
That line has done good service since.
have even seen it appended to news
paper advertisement, reminding school
pupils in vacation what time next term
would begin. As those three days Of
suspense dragged hy | grew moro and
more unhappy. hud sold my two hun
drcd tickets among my personal friends,
hut feared that they might not come.
! My lecture, which had seemed "humor-
Gus" to nc at first, grew steadily more
and more dreary till not Il veStigc Of fun
! seemed left, and gricvcd that | could
| not briug a coffin on the stage and turn
| the thing into funeral. was SO panic
stri. ken at last that | went to three old
friends, giants in stature, cordial by ma.
ture, and stormy -voicc'l, and said:
"rhis thing is going to &c a failure
the j,kcs in them are SO dan that no.
bod; will ever see them. I would like
to have you sit in the parqnctte and help
me through"
They said they would. Then I wen,
/ to the u irc of popular citizen, and said
I that if she was willing 10 do me a very
j great kindness would bc glad if she and
her husband would sit prominently in
the left hand stagc-box, where the whole
house could see them. | explained that
i should need help, aud would turn to-
+ wards her aud smile, as signal, when
had been delivered OF m obscure joke
"and thcn," answered, "don't wait tc
investigate, but rcspond!'
She PROMISED. Down the street | met
Il man had never seen before. lie hat
been drinking, and WAS beaming viii
smiles and good nature. lie said:
"My name is Sawyer. You don,
know me, but that don't matter.
haven't got cent, but if you knew how
bad wanted to laugh, you'd give me l
ticket. Come, nov, whnt DO you say?'
"Is your laugh hing on hair triegcri
that is, is it critical, or can it get Of
easy ?"
My drawing iniirmity Of speech so af
fcctcd him that lie laughed stecimc,
or two that struck me as being about the
article wanted, aud gave him Il ticket
and appointed lin to sit in the scconC
circle in the centre and bc responsible
for that division Of the house. | CAV,
him minute Instructions about how tc
detect indislinct jokes, and then went
away and left him chucGlinS placidly
over the novelty Of the idea.
ate nothing on the last OF the thre,
evcntful days. only suffered. had
advertised that On the third day the Of
flee would bc opened for the sale Of re-
served seats. crcpt down 10 the thea
trc at four in the afternoon to zee il any
sales had been made. The ticket seller
was gone, the box Office was locked up
| had to swallow suddcl ly or my hear,
would have got ont "No sales" ! said
to myself might have known it.
thought Of suicide, pretended illness
flight. ! thought Of these things in earn
est, for was very miserable and scared
But had to Of course drive them away,
and prepare TO meet my fate. | could
not wait for haI(-past seven; | wanted
to face the horror and end 1.-THE feel
ing Of many a man doomed to be hung,
no doubt. | went down back streets al
six o'clock, and entered the theatre 10y
the back door. stumbled my way in
the dark among the ranks Of canvass
scenery aud stood on the stage. The
house was gloomy aud silent, and ITS
emptiness depressing. | went into the
| dark AMONG thc Srnnpc ouo;n AND c,r =,