West-Jersey pioneer., 1872-05-10
LAWYERS, MINISTERS, DOCTORS.
RY o. W. HOLMES.

RY o. W. HOLMES.
The lawyers are picked lot, ''first schol-
ars, " and the like, but their business is as
unsympathetic as Jack Ketch's There is
nothing humanizing in their relations with
their fellow creatures. Theyg go for the side
that retains them. They defend the man
they know to be rogue, and not very rare
ly throw suspicion on the man they know to
fault with them; every side of case has
right to the best statement it admits of, but
| say it does not tend to make them SYM
pathetic. Suppose in case of Fever VS..
| Patient, the doctor should side with either
party according to whether the old miser or
his expectant heir was his employer. Sup
pose the minister should side with the
Lord or the Devil, according to the salary
offered, and other incidental advantages,
| where the soul of a sinner was in question.
Y You see what a piece of work it would make
of their sympathies. But the lawyers are
quicker witted than either of the other pro-
fessions, and abler men generally. They
are good natured, or, if they quarrel, their
quarrels are above board. ! don't think
they are as accomplished as the ministers,
but they have a way Of examining with
| special knowledge for case which leaves a
certain shallow sediment of intelligence in
| their memories about a good many things.
| They are apt to talk law in mixed company,
and they have a way of looking round when
they make a point, as if they were address
ing jury, that is mighty aggravating, as l
once had occasion to see one of 'em, and
pretty famous one, put me on the witness
| stand at dinner party once.
The ministers come next in point of tai
ent They are far more curious and widely
interested outside Of their own calling than
either of the other professions. I like to
talk with 'em. They are interesting men,
full of good feelings, hard workers. always
foremost in good deeds, and on the whole
| the most efficient civilizing class, working
downwards from knowledge to ignorance.
that is-now and then upwards, also-that
we have. The trouble is, that so many of
them work in harness, and it is pretty sure
to chafe somewhere. They too often as
sumo principles which would cripple our
instincts and reason and give us a crutch of
doctrine. l have talked with great many
of am of all sorts of belief, and don't
think they have fixed everything in their
own minds, or are as dogmatic in their hab-
its of thought as one would think to hear
'em lay down the law in pulpit. hey used
| to lead the intelligence of their parishes
now they do pretty well if they keep up
with it; and they are very apt to lag behind
it. Then they must have colleague. The
old minister thinks he can hold to his own
course, sailing right into the winds eye of
human nature, as straight as that famous
old skipper John Bunyan; the young min
lister falls off three Or four points and catch
es the breeze that left the old mans sails
| all shivering. By and by the congregation
| will get ahead of him, and then it must
have another new skipper. The priest holds
his own pretty well the minister is coming
down every generation nearer and nearer to
| the common level of the useful citizen-no
oracle at all, but man of more than aver
age moral instincts, who, if he knows any
thing, knows how little he knows. The
ministers are good talkers only the strug-
gle between nature and grace makes some
Of 'em little awkward occasionally The
women do their best to spoil 'em, as they
do the poets you find it very pleasant to
be spoiled, no doubt, SO do they. Now and
then one of them goes over the dam no
wonder, they're always in the rapids.
| By this time our three ladies had their
faces all turned toward the speaker, like the
weather-cocks in northeastern l
thought it best to switch off the talk to an
other rail.
| How about the doctors ?-I said.
Theirs is the least learned Of the profess
sions, in this country at least. They have
not half the general culture of the lawyers,
nor quarter of that of the ministers. /
rather think, though, they are more agree
able to the common run of people than the
men with black coats or the men with green
bags. People can swear before EN- if they
care whether they want to swear or not,
they don't want to be on their good be-
havior. Besides, the minister has little
smack of the sexton about him he comes
when people are in ertremis, but they don't
send for him every time they make a slight
moaRf slip,-tel lie for instance or SNUG
gle a silk dress through the custom house :;
but they call in the doctor when child is
cutting a tooth, or gets a splinter in its fin
GER So it doesn't mean much to send for
him, only pleasant chat about the news
of the day /; for putting the baby to rights
doesn't take long. Besides, everybody
doesn't like to talk about the next world !;
people are modest in their DESIRES and find
this world as good as they deserve but
i anybody loves to talk physic. Everybody
loves to hear of strange cases people are
eager to tell the doctor of the wonderful
cures they have heard of; they want to