The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1872-01-04
Higgins and the Widow.

|
Higgins and the Widow.
| BY s. H., OF ALABAMA, I -
| One day Sandy Higgins came into
my Office and sat down without a word
For some minutes he sat still, watch.
ing me intently, as if to make out by
the SQUAD OF my pen what was wri.
ting.
'sSquire,0 he said at length, stdid
lever tell yon my scrape with the wild
( ow Horny up here on the river?1 81
IA .sNever did," said ], laying down
niyp "let's have i"
sThey're curious creatures, widows
isl said he, in meditative tone, ,sseand
the more you study about 'em the
more Won don't know anything about
'em. What was this thing I've read
about in Egypt, or some other coun-
try, that nobody could unfiddle2v
"The Sphinx, probably" replied.
-ssWell," he continued, "that was a
widow as sure as you ever had a
granny. Everything else in the earth
has been found out but them, and
buOI Q DO 4AQOh q gotCAI lO-O6y ttS
the length of the north pole. Y on
from Genesis to Revelations, and you
will find that widows have been at the
bottom or top of five quarters of all
the devilment that has been cut up.
Was you ever in love with one ?'
sfEot'sof fhem," sald I.
"Yousre d great,gand -that's what
-of1 1,a hot
one and gifts over it won't never get
bit by another, if he's got as much
sense as grounding. I don't con-
slider that I've got any sense at all, but
l am little too smart to let another
of them get all the trumps on me-
The widow Horny thatI was speak
man, I reckon, that ever looked man
into fits. salds fought to be a judge.
for I've seen lots of pretty women in
my day. She was abont TWENTY-FIVE
years old when went up there to
work, just in the bloom of her beauty,
and full of deviltry as a three year
old mule colt. There was ball over
at Jenkins and of course / went, for
l always go where there's any fun
going on. and generally act the fool
before T. get away. OF course, the
widow was there, dressed as fine as
Solomon's lilies, and flying around as
frisky as young lamb in rye patch.
1 got introduced to her and asked her
to dance with me, and when she fash
ed her eyes at me and said "yes'
jumped up like5I had sit down on a
hot griddle. Youmay talk about sem
sation, but when she took hold of my
hand and sorter squeezed it, [ felt
sensation as big as load of wood,
and it kept running up and down my
back like squirrel with a hawk af-
ter him. Pm very fond of dancing,
but I'il be hanged if I know whether
enjoyed it that night or not, for ev-
cry time she took hold ofmy hand I'd
commence feeling curious behind the
ears and up and down my back again,
and then / wouldn't know whether ]
wassons earth or in balloon, or on a
comet, thing about it. It was un-
doubtedl y a case of love at first sight,
and q powerful bad case at that. q
For wonder I got through the
frolic without making myself fconspic-
uohs or cutting up any extras, as I'm
in the habit of doing when go into
public. I'd set my pegs TO go home
with the widow after the ball, but just
as I was fixing my mouth to ask her,
up steps.a big, long, leather-faced doc
tor, named Mabry, and walked her
right off before my eyes. That riled
me some, but / kept my tongue still
inwardly swearing to break his bones
the first opportunity that presented
itself. I saw there was no use in say
ing anything, SO / went home and
went to bed, and all the rest of the
night was dreaming about rainbows,
angels, butterflies, widows, and doc
tors, mixed up worse than dutch
mans dinner.
eWell, Squire, to make short sto-
ry of it, made up my mind to have
the widow, or kill myself or somebo-
dy else.
| Q $50 I made it convenient 10 be on
hand where she was, upon all ecca-
sions. .I couldnt eat nor sleep nor
work, and If the thing had held on, i
wouldn't have have had sense enough
| left to skin rabbit. But l was de-
termined it should not last long, for
I'd been fooled so often by women
that I thought I would not give her
time to think of anything but me.
She appeared to take me right sharp
ly, and the doctor seemed inclined to
mix in with me, but Ididn't consider
him no more than brush fence, for
was so far gone thought she could
:, see nobody on earth but me. Well,
Squire, things went on SO for about a
| month, and one Sunday / screwed up
| my spunk and put the question to
| her. She sorter laughed and looked
one sided, and finally told me she
couldn't give me an answer just then,
but if I'd call at her house next Thurs
day evening, she'd give me final an
swer. Thinks /, you're mine, just as
sure as there is a fiddle below. When
ever woman takes time to study
she'll say yes. Squire, don't the poets
say something about men and rats
going crooked 2"
"bIice and men, Burns says / an.
I "Well, mice and rats is all one, and
ESQ is men and fools sometimes, as
have found in my travels. j was sc
sure she'd have me that Invent off and
spent all my money for fine clothes
thinking would have them ready fol
the wedding-and I did! Confound
that widow, ] sayl Confound all the
widows! Thursday evening came at
last, although it was long time abou
it, and over / went, dressed into fits
and feeling as big as Josh Raynor. die
| when he was elected coroner l. go'
there about dark, and found righI