Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1872-10-05
MISCELLANEOUS
vezations Of a Front Yard.


has front yard. We have always !ived ID
houses whose front yard was the street. Chill
drcn viii play in the yard whether there is
stree. running through or not. After two or
three Of them had barely escaped being run
over by the teams that insisted on running
through our front yard, wiio said she mus; rent
a house that hadn't any street in it. So we
Gil. But lord the children ii lu't make any
account ofit They are in the street as much
as ever accommodating their daily supply Of mar
row escapes.
Wife said the yard looked bare without
shrubs, and Towers aud vines. hinted that
a little grass would help it too. She asked me
II knew where could get some, and l told
her knew little grass widow On the next
street, if she wonld do. l rcirealet, followed
by TIE rolling pin.
One morning as ! was going away, wife ask
ed ne to bring her few aunuals" when
came back. Iwoadersd what Size wanted with
annuals as I rcd, down town in TIC street car,
but am sccustomedio to blind obedience to
her requests, 50 when went home at night
brought her some ANIMALS. There were Dr..
Jaynes Medical Almanac" remember and
the Odd Fellows Annual Offering and i
20 New Years Address" for 1862, and the
Birth Day Gift" and numerous annual ad-
dresses before agricultural associations that bad
accumulated on my hands
"G Good gracious" exclaimed Mrs. Boggs
(she never swears like that unless under great
excitement, "what have you brought me ?"
"Annua's, Mrs Dogss," said I. " You said
you wanted some ANNALS, and here they are."
Then Mrs Boggs burst out laughing and
cried Why, you old fool you 1--WE have been
married twenty years, but Mrs. B. calls me
pet names yet the ANNALS mean are flowers,
such as yerJenas, pansies daisies, morning slo-
ries, misnonette and the like, to set out in our
front yard TLcn size took all the ANNALS
had been at so much pains to collect and set
them ont in the back yard among other rub
bish.
The next morning. she asked me if thought
| could get her some roses ior the front ya.d.
Told her / knew a man who hal got lot Of
early rose potatoes, but it wasn't the right time
for setting them out. Il have au idea that the
ground is much better employed in raising a
potato than in raisuga flower unless it be
barrel Of nour Wife said hadn't bit Of
taste. She then gave me a memoranda Of roses
she wanted. was busy all day, but just as
was about taxing car FOR homo thought Of
the roses referred to the memoranda and
foaud the following:
Get a few geraniums fachias, heiistrope,
roses, bourbon, running rose, Prairie Queen,
golden ten plant, viaes, English ivy Wander
ing jew, seeds, etc"
/ studied it hard, but it was slightly incom-
prehensiJle. Sho had evidently got things
mixed up. However, went TO florists aud
told him what wanted. Said L" Give me
4 few gorauiums and few she's, aud"
a few WHAT" asked tho flower man,
looking very puzzled.
a few she's, said T, turning very red,
know, fyr couldn't tell for the life Of me what
my wife wanted Of few she's about the place,
as sic never could live in the Same house with
another woman.
As the florist looked more staggered than
ever. | handed him the memoranda, when he
burs.ed into loud laugh.
"Why, maa," he cried, al its .fi'ohios, she
wants y and then he roared again.
"WeIl, whatever it is, give me couple Of
yards Of it, anyhow. from. aad b4ck yard, too"
You see / was mad.
got the things the memoranda seemed to
call for AZ various places, aud went home.
Here, Mrs.. Boggs," said !, testify, are the
things for your front yard"
why, what Is this ?" she cried as thrust
a two gallon jug upon her among other things.
Bourbon, my dear, found it on tho mem
oranda. Pretty thing to set out in the front
yard, though. How long DO You s'pose itll
stay there with the rcighbors we've sot2"
Boggs, you are an Internal -; that
memorandum was c Bourbon Rose But
what is this nasty little book ?" holding up
dime novel, with highly colored title page,
representing gorgeous squaw oa a fiery and
Rntamed mustang.
THAT? Why you ordered it, didu't yon
That's Running Rose; OF the Prairie Queen,
Que Of Beades, you know"
Ny wife carried i. at arms length aud threw
it into the stove. Then she took the Jug Of
Bourbon and emp!ied it iato the back gutter.
While she was gene concealed Alexander
Dumas " Wandering Jew" which also had
purchased, for began 70 see that I lad made
a terrible blunder in Cling that order. q have
since ascsTtaiaei tia: " Wandering Jew is
the name Of c vine, but how was expected
to know all about il -Fa. Contributors Sat
wady Night
4 Poet Priest.