Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1872-03-26
COa,atiag T',ycnty-z'tve.

toaIalttaS Ewcnty-Etve.
I found the cherished face of Maria
Ana wrca;hed in smiles, the other
evening When | returned from my ar
duous daily toll. Il am engaged as
standing man at saloen. So many
candidates are treating, that the ss-
loon keeper hires six Of as to be treat
ed. We all drink with every candi-
date who comes in, and it makes busi-
ness pretty brisk
! Said my chosen one, Joshua. am
afraid you do not always Gnd me an
angel in disposition
Sad l, That's so-hic-my dear;
don't aeIdom find you napgcl in
in anything"
And she added, "you are not
always the most pleasant man in the
world
] DID not feel called on to reply.
"Now," said she, "read that"
She had Gu: al item from the col
umns of some paper wherein a de-
mented writer told about some i'm.
possible woman who, being troubled
with bad temper, counted twenty.
five every time she got provoked, and
thus became sweet, amiablc, and
dearly loved ornament of the house of
her delighted husband, 7 read the
article as web IS the condition Of nv
head would allow, and remarked;
"Bosh."
Maria Ann paid no attention to me
but unfoldcd her plan. She said tha.
every time Y got mad should count
twenty-fye.' | asked her who she
thought would pay our rent while we
sat and counted twenty-five, over and
over all day long. Then she said I
was always raising objections to her
plans for our mutual improvement,
and said was not, and she said [
was enough to try the patience of a.
saint, and | said she was too, and she
came for me, and | told her to count
twenty-five; but she forgot all about
that, and just tailed one in my left
eye.
Then was going to rcmonstrate
with the poker, and she told me to
count twenty-five, and said would
not; but did before she had pulled
more than half my hair out. Then
she made me count twenty-five over
and over ugtil was out of breath
and felt real pleasant and good naturcd.'
SO we went to supper. Now, the cat
was curled up in my chair, but did
not see it until l sat down; and l
did not see it then, but l was pretty
sure it was there, in fact / knew it
was there as well as I wanted to, and
more too. | felt inclined TO rise up'
suddenly but as l gathered to spring she
brandished the teapot and murmurcd:
Joshua, your temper is rising; count
twenty-five or I'll break your head,
and that eat was drawing map of
M
the Tenth Ward with her claws around
behind me with tho streets and bound.
lries marked in my blood. l rose 20
explain, and said, "My doar-I-"
'ut she caromed on my head with a
we'll shot tea cup, and sprinkled my
ACE with quart of hot tea, and I sat
lown and counted twenty-five; but l
killed the cat. The old fellow died
lard, though. could feel him settle
rs his nine lives went out one by one.
A few days practice of this rule
'ndcr the loving instruction Of Maria
Ann, has enabled me to conquer my
emper completely. Nobody can get
NO mad now, am in state Of per-
'otual calm, and I want to see the
nan that wrote that story. I want
o fit him for the hands of an under.
akcr, and make a demand for mourn
ng goods among his friends. Then I
an die happy--counting twenty i've
yt'cs Hrad \.
.fr.- "