The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1872-05-21
LOOIS BRIX.
WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT GREE
LEY.
from the Clinton Rcgister.)

| May IS, 1872.
The idea of them Liberals goin' and
nominatin' Greeley for president THE
more think about II the madden j get,
and I haven't been in any very good
humor since the custom-house investiga-
ton. 1t wasn't enough that they should
20 off and desert US Just when we'd got
everything nicely fixed up for another
four years, but they must 60 and steal
the Father Of the republican party and
then swear that they are the old original
DR.. Townsend. What, with runnin' of
with Greeley and the Tribune I'm
| blamed if they haven't kind O cleaned
| the foundation out from under us.
| The idea of Greeley ,bein' president, any
how A sweet old president he'd make,
with his old white coat, his breeches stuck
in his boots and his cravat tied under his
left ear, instead of sportin' military uni
form and brass buttons. And he can't
even smoke, let alone drink whisky. The
cabinet meetin's would be as dry as a last
years birds nest, and Bourbon county
wouldn't be represented in the govern
ment at all. He don't know bull pup
from a badger, and isn't any kind Of a
Judge of horseflesh. The fact Is, he hasn't
got tho first elements Of president.
Then he hasn't got the first COMPOUNDED
relation that can hold an office. His sons
are all daughters and his nephews all
nieces, and they forgot to make him any
cousins. What would he do for o grand
master of ceremonies and foreign minis
ters, and other little family offices? And
he hasn't got any father that l know Of
and the postofiice at Covington would
have to be closed up, and there wouldn't
be anybody to write his biography for the
New York LEDGER and we'd never know
whether he ever rode a mule in circus.
And hi hasn't got any brother-in-law to
help him ''move the crops and the wood.
bine wouldn't Irvine worth u cent And
he amt got any son to send off to Europe
in government vessel, and our navy
would rot in idleness. A man that amt
, got any relations amt of any account
, these days.
Then he's afflicted with "political econ
: omy," and everybody knows that econom-
ical administrations were played out long
ago. If there's anything about these lib
erals that proves that they amt genuine
republicans, it's the fact that they 90 in
T for economy-thats the cloven hoof of
, the democracy stickin' straight out.
Why, political economy would ruin all the
} office-holders in the country in less than
six months, and we wouldn't have any big
debt to brag about and levy taxes for, and
what would we do without any Irrational
blessin p This economy business is the
worst feature in the whole thing. ] shud-
der to think that such a policy should be
, inaugurated.
Then he's an editor, and I'd like to
! know what business an editor has rum
min for office, anyhow? All he's got to do
is to work for his party, puff little men
into big statesmen, defend the office-hold-
0 ers from the slanderous attacks Of the peo-
pie, print buncombe speeches, and rally
the people to the polls. That ought to be
glory enough for one man. 10 give cdi-
tors office would destroy our free and in
r dependent press and where would we be ?
, If Greeley was elected president every
blamed editor in the country would be as
pirin to Office, and if brains got to be q
qualification for an Office, where would zoe
be?
. A philosopher for president? That's
= played out long ago! We amt electin'
them kind Of men these days. What's
: = philosophy got to do with politics, I'd
: like TO know? This way of mixin' things
i, would ruin the government to dead
certainty. Why, the next thing we know
they'll be for electin a statesman to the
presidency, and askin that man
should have some quail ficatIons for film
an office. When We once get started in
: them kind of notions again we'll drift
right back TO the degenerate days Of
Jefferson, and then where would we be =?
A nice candidate, Greeley is, after
goin' and balm out jeff. Davis, instead
Of watin for Grant to punish him for
treason along with Longstreet. This act
OF defeatin' the ends of justice and cheat
in JEFF out of fat Office is sin that the
loyal American people never can forgive
And then he's in favor Of pardonin' all
them rebels that refuse to Join tho Re-
publican party, and allow 'em to vote
!. just as IL it wasn't all We could
! do to hold our own as it is. And
then he's down on carpet.baggers and in
favor of kickin' them out Of Office and
sendin' EN- back north to fill our poor
STORM the Union II We amt q goiA' to
have the offices What's the use of con-
querin' the south, If we amt a goin' TO
rule it? The COMPOUNDED old fool, don't
he know that TO lot tho rebels vote and TO
send the carpet-baggers home, would stop
all the ku-klux outrages? Why, that
would be knockin' the very cornerstone
out Of the foundation of the republican
government.
And then what he knows about farmin
would be the runation Of the country.
He'd DO for rotatin' offices like he would
crops weed out the office-holders, UNDER
drain the sloughs Of corruption, root out
the thieves, and introduce peace in the
south. Instead Of tryin' to annex San
domingo, he'd ask congress TO buy the
uuano islands, and ask for an appropris-
uon 10 irrgate the plains Of Colorado.
horace may be a great and good man,
ana know all that there is 10 know about
iarmln', but he cant receive the support
OF GnouS RpIY