The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-06-13
A story of Uncle John Coyode.

The Washington correspondent of the
Cincinnati Commercial writes as follows
have heard funny anecdote about
the late John Covode, this morning,
which is worth repeating:
/ do not know whether the doctor
used to prescribe whiskey for Covode or
not, but 1 presume he did not, for Uncle
John was too faultless a man to drink
whiskey unless it was good for him. At
any rate, he used to keep it in his room,
and drink some when he felt little
faint. He came from whiskey-pro-
ducing district, and the boys used to say
that he always had on hand nice ar
ticle. In those days, before we had any
Congressional Temperance Societies,
when McDougal, Yates, and such kin
dred spirits were in their prime, whiskey
used to be sold at the restaurants in the
Capitol, and it was not unfrequently
kept in some Of the committee-rooms
If the Chairman of committee was
bibulously inclined, and several of the
same feather on the committee with
him, the chances were that thirsty
soul could always find comfort in that
room. Covode at that time was Chair
man of the Committee on Public Build
ings and Grounds, the same over which
Mr.. Halsey, of New Jersey, now so ably
presides.
There was not much business for the
committee to do, and the room was a
handsome one, with lounges, and arm
chairs, and all the inviting influences
besides, it was convenient. 1t was
handy for the members to run into
during the long debates, to smoke ci-
gar and have chat, and at almost any
hour in the day party of jolly members
might be found in that room, drinking
smoking and telling stories. The whis-
key was plenty. Covodo was liberal
with it; case after case came to his adj
dress from Pennsylvania dozen bot
ties, two dozen bottles, small keg, q
demijohn, all sorts.
One day, early in the session, Covode
told one of his friends that there was q
good deal of whiskey drank in that
room. His friend seemed perfectly in
different to the information, merely an
swering, al s'pose So"
"Well," said Covode, az don't Sc
much object to the boys drinking al
they want, but l don't want them t.
walk off with it in wholesale. I'm no
ambitious to keep a wholesale establish
ment. A fair retail business is all carc
for. They may come here if they ar,
our friends, and drink as much as they
want, but don't want them to steal it
1 don't want them to take bottle to
day, demijohn tomorrow, and kes
the next day."
"Have new lock put on your wash
stand, then"
"That's good idea" said Uncl
John "it's wonder I hadn't though
of it before" So a new lock was put OF
the wash-stand-a large rosewood cas-
with doors in front and marble TOP
This would hold keg of whiskey, tw
or three demiiohns, or a couple of dozel
bottles. The new lock did not seem t
work very satisfactorily. A day or tw
after, the leck was changed again n
use-more whiskey gone mysteriously
Finally, VERY intricate and complicat
ed lock was put on. Then the robber
was to stop sure. The very next nigh
demijohn disappeared.
1t was but natural that by this time
Uncle John became little discourage
and unhappy Still he could not Civ
up the luxury and satisfaction of havin
something nice about him all the tim,
1t was pleasant to give friend a drin
once in a while, and it was sociablc, an
finally he got mad and swore he woul
be doggoned if he wouldn't keep littl
of the stuff in his room, and he would b
doggoned if he would allow anybody
steal it either.
So he set trap. A new stock had al
rived that day, and he put it in tn
wash-stand, as usual. After the HouS
adjourned, he concealed himself in til
room, and waited. He did not have t
wait long. He heard two pairs of fec
tiptoeing up to the door. He laid low
Pretty soon key turned in the loc
and then two men entered. From h
hiding place, Uncle John peeped OF
and recognized two waggish Democra
ic members, who were fond of their jok
but still fonder of Uncle Johns whiske,
Still Uncle John laid low, but kept h
eyes open. The two men walked straigl
up to the washstand and deliberatel
lifted off the topl That was all, but
was enough for Uncle John! He kel
quiet, however, until they had handt
out two or three bottles. Then he stel
ped out and said:
"That'll do boys; want the rest"
There was at first CONSERVATION on OF
side, as may be imagined; and anger c
the other, but these soon gave way
laughter and was succeeded by drink
1t was a good joke on both sides, b.
Uncle John Covode, to the day of h
death, never forgave the Democrat
party for that trick.