Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-26
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"A stylish bonnet can be obtained from
Paris for s125. Indulgent husbands will cut
this out to show their wives.
A Missouri editor advertises to take corn
in pay for his paper. He says he prefers to
have it in liquid state, but will take it in the
ear if he can't get it otherwise.
-"I'm afraid I'm sitting on your crinoline,
ma am" "Oh never mind, sir it's of no
consequences; you can'thurt it." "No, ma'am,
it's not that; but the confounded thing hurts
me"
A few iron nails placed in vase with
flowers will keep the water sweet and the flow
ers fresh. This arises from the sulphur elm.
mated from the plants combining with the
iron.
"A debating society discussed the question,
els it wrong to cheat lawyer?" After full
discussion and mature deliberation, the decis-
ion was, "Not wrong, but too difficult to pay
for the trouble"
- Every religious and political innovation is
opposed by the timidity of some, the obstina.
cy and pride of others, and the ignorance of
the bulk of mankind. All i'm provement,
therefore, in religion and politics must be
gradual John LOCKE.
"A set of paper car-wheels on one of the
Pullman cars, running to Jersey City, have
run over 100000 miles of track, and worn out
entirely one set of steel tires, which have been
replaced. The ordinary wheels, it is said, will
only run 10000 miles.
The Sioux are very observant. One oi
Spotted Tails followers, who speaks little
English, seeing one of the servant girls at a
hotel take off her chignon, the other day, ex'
claimed: "How! White woman raise her
own scalp! Indian no hold her!'
- The baby oyster is not much bigger than
fair sized pins head at the end Of fort
night, and at three months only of the size Of
split pea. In year he will become as large
as an ordinary half penny, and at the enc
of four years growth he is fit for the market
"A gentleman named Dunlop remarked
that he had never heard his name punned
upon, and did not believe it could be done
"There is nothing in the world more easy
sir" remarked punster. "Just lop off hal
the name and it is dun"
A Georgia rooster was recently killed witt
a crop full of vest buttons. Thus the South
constantly cuts her own throat. If that en-
terprsing fowl had been let alone, the chance:
are that his efforts would have resulted in 6
complete gentleman's furnishing store.
The emotional insanity plea has spread tt
the Indians One of them, the other day
when arrested for killing and scalping some
white men, being asked to account for the &c
centricity, said: "Me heap crazy. Me to(
much crazy"
What a glorious world this would be if al
its inhabitants could say, with Shakespeare!
shepherd "Sir, am true laborer l carr
that wear owe no man hate; envy no man:
happiness ; glad with other mems good; con
tent with my farm"
"A lady in Dayton, Ohio, felt rattle
snake bite her last week, and to save her life
drank quart of raw whisky. After she be-
came sober, she found that broken steel ir
her hoop skirt had scratched her ankle, anc
she had had her drunk for nothing
"A young merchant who is trying to strug
gle along in falsely economical way, took q
class in a Sunday.school recently. During the
progress of the lesson he asked "What is sol
itude?" and was visibly disturbed when 8
miserable boy promptly answered. -"The store
that don't advertiser
If pegged boots are occasionally dressed
with petroleum between the soles and the
upper leather they will not rip. If the sole;
of boots and shoes are dressed with petroleum
they will resist wet and wear we'll. The pegs
it is said, are not affected by dryness after
being saturated with the liquid.
The longest unbroken railway in the worlc
is now completed by the finishing Of the grea
bridge over the Missouri river at Omaha
The distance from Boston to the west end O.
the continuous line in California is 3239 miles
and is throughout the entire distance a first
class line.
"A disappointed youth in Oregon, recently
ventured to bring an action for breach O
promise against lady. She pleaded tina
when their engagement was broken off she pre-
sented him with $3.50 and bottle of cologne
as compensation for the loss Of her affections
The Jury decided that this was quite sufficient
and gave verdict for the lady.
-" "Mother,' said little Ned, one morning
after having fallen out ofbed, ri think I know
why I fell out of bed last night. 1t was be
cause slept too near where got in.' Mus
ing a little while, as if in doubt whether hi
had given the right explanation, he added
"No, that wasn't the reason it was because
slept too near where I fell out"
An old woman, who died the other day al
Lowell, was giving orders for her funeral, anc
among other things she said she wanted to be
"laid out" in her black silk gown, and they
must not take out the back breadth, as they
did when Sally Smith was laid out. "For,
said the old lady deprecatingly but seriously
"what figure Sally will cut at the resurrec
ton without any back breadth in her gown! /!
That was not bad reply given recently
at barn-raising in Pennsylvania, to a young
man who had been relating his more than
wonderful exploits in various quarters of the
globe. At the close Of one of these nara
tives he was not little set back by the re
mark of an old codger: "Young man, aim
you ashamed to talk so when there are Older
liars on the ground?"
A little girl of five summers was the hap
py recipient of a velvet cloak, of which she
was very proud. One day soon after she vas
discussing her dresses, their beauty, style, etc.
when her mother, by way of nipping her van
ity in the bud, said: "My dear, do you moi
know there are more important things to talk
about than dresses ?" Quickly she replied
"Oh yes, mamma, velvet cloaks."
- Relics of the Emperor Napoleon I, are
bringing good prices in Europe. One of his
teeth were sold the other day in Brussels
warranted genuine, for $500. At this rate
his entire skull would be worth fortune
Prince Napoleon has recently made pile Of
money out of his great relation, having sold
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