Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-01-22

Goat. Ask that of your horses they
have served you faithfully.
Franklin. How can you so cruelty
sport with my torments?
Gom. Sport I am very serious.
have here a list of your offences against
your own health distinctly written, and
can justify every stroke inflicted on you
Franklin. Read it, then.
Gout. 1t is too long detail but |
will briefly mention some particulars.
Franklin. Proceed; | am all atten-
tion.
Gout. Do you remember how often
you have promised yourself, the follow
ing morning, &; walk in the grove of
Boulogne, or in your own garden, and
have violated your promise, alleging, at
one time, it was too cold, at another,
too warm, too windy, too moist, or what
else you pleased; when, in truth, it
was too nothing, but you, insuperable
love of ease?.
Franklin. That, | confess, may have
happened occasionally, probably ten times
in year.
Gout. Your confession is very short of
the truth; the gross amount is one hun
dred and ninety mine times.
Franklin. Is it possible ?
Goat. So possible that it is fact; you
may rely on the accuracy of my state
ment You know Mr.. BIS gardens, and
what fine walks they contain; you know
the handsome flight of hundred steps,
which lead from the terrace above to the
lawn below You have been in the
practice of visiting this amiable family
twice a week after dinner, and, as it is
maxim Of your own that '.a man may
take as much exercise in walking a mile
up and down stairs as in ten on level
ground" D." what an opportunity was there
for you to have had exercise in both
these ways Did you embrace it, and
how often?
Franklin. I cannot Immediately an
swer that question.
Goa l will do it for you; not once
Franklin. Not once? l am convinced
now of the business of Poor Richard S
remark, that ''our debts and our sins are
always greater than we think for"
Cont. So it is! You philosophers are
sages in your maxims, and fools in your
conduct.
Franklin. All how tiresome you are
Gom. Well, then, to my office; it
should not be forgotten that l am your
physician. There!
Franklin. 90. what a physician!
Gout. How ungrateful are you to say
SO Is it not |, who, in the character
of your physician, have saved you from
the palsy, dropsy, and apoplexy? one OF
other which would have done for you
long ago. but for me.
Franklin. l submit, and thank you
for the past, but entreat the discontinue
ance of your visits for the future; for il
my mind one had better die, than be
cured so dolefully Permit me just tc
hint that | have also not been unfriend
ly to you. | never feed physician OIL
quack of any kind, to enter the lists
against you; if then, you do not leave
me to repose, it may be said you are IN
grateful too.
Cont. | can scarcely acknowledge
that as any objection. As to quacks,
despise them; they may kill you, in
deed. but cannot injure me. And as tt
regular physicians, they are at last con
vinced that the gout, in such a subjecr
as you are, is no disease, but a remedy
and wherefore cure remedy? But t
our business. There
Franklin. @! O! Leave me- and
promise faithfully never more to, play a
chess, but to take exercise daily, an(
live temperately.
Cont I know you too well. Yol
promise fair; but after a few months
good health, you will return to your ole
habits; your fine promises will be for
gotten, like the forms Of the last year
clouds. Let us, then, finish the account
and I will 60. But I leave you, with al
assurance of visiting you again at
proper time and place; for my object i
your good, and you are sensible nov
that [ am your real friend.