Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1872-07-10
Model Greeley Resolutions.

written expressly FOR the GreelcyitCs in
Scott county, by Shonbirg; but not being
copyrighted no one will be prosecuted for
using them outside of Scott, and claiming
them as original In short, stealing is per-
mitted and expected.
WHEREAS, The millennium has dawn
ed, aud the wolf is lying down with the
lamb, and the lion is eating straw like an
OK, ana the abolitlonistS and ScceSSioni 3ta
march under the same GaT. and the radi-
Gals and rebels walk arm in arm. and the
tree-traders aud protectionists are check LE
Jowl, aud the Irish and negroes eat out Of
the same dish, and Horace Greeley and
Jell Davis sleep in the same bed, and the
sucking child is playing on the hole of the
asp, and women vote and ride a straddle
and everything is lovely and the goose
hangs high; therefore,
RCSotced, LIST, That inasmuch as the time
has come for all men to eat dirt and turn
somersets, and no man thinks what he
says, or believes what he thinks, we unan-
lmously recognize the absolute equality of
men, including negroes women and chi
nese; that we believe n mules ears are as
short as horses and that the leopard
can change his spots, and that
the negro is man and brother, and hav-
ing always favored his admission TO the
ballot-boX we now welcome him to the So
ciai circle, having something of an idea
that all the world was born of a monkey.
that things are not what they used TO be
ana that there is a great deal of INSIDE
downed-ness and downsidc-upward-ness.
and bewildering observation-disclosures
generally.
Resolred 2d, That being in great doubt
whether the rebellion failed or succeeded
anu not being certain whether Grant or
Lee surrendered at AppomattoN. and he
ing OF opinion that the South was either
right or wrong, and the North was either
wrong or right, and that neither was Ell
tner TO hurt, we are unanimously in favor
of letting by-goneS be by-goncs. of burv-
ing the stars and Stripes in the same
grave with the Stars and Bars. of mixing
three parts of Dixie y with two Of Yam
kee Doodle" and of marrying the Union
eagle to the rebel buZZard.
ReSotrCd Sd, That being a liberal party.
we favor liberality in all things, in politics
ana III religion, in virtue and in TEMPER
ance, giving perfect freedom to AN.
freedom to men, and freedom to wo-
men, criticsing no ones opinions and no
one actions; pardoning an occasional clean
shirt and washed face neither averrinp
that there is heaven nor yet denying
that there is a hell; holding the Almighty
In proper respect at the same time not for
getting our old friend Satan believing that
nothing Is up or down but that everything
IS standing or sideways. and in all things
holding very fast with one hand but alto
gether letting go with the other.
RCsOtrod 4M, That the Constitution as il
Is Is better than the Constitution as it was:
that the Bible is all very well in its place,
but the Book of Mormon is newer and the
writings of Confucius older, and every
man is master of his own conscience and
conduct and has right to make a God to
suit himself; that free whisky and uni
Versal Ignorance coupled with free love
ana universal salvation make earth Il para
olsc ana heaven Il certainty; but that,
nevertheless, all things are turned round
and the times are out of ioiut, every
straight road is crooked, the earth turns
backward on Its axes men walk ZigZug and
tneir Drains are topsy-turvy, the world is
all bcWitched, and "a woman is the coming
man.
Res0trod 5th, That inasmuch as Judas
Iscarlot, though once wicked man, after
wards become an apostle, and inasmuch as
Benedict Arnold shed blood i'm defence of
american liberty, and inasmuch as jeff.
Davis was not nominated, we are are
heartily in favor of Horace Greeley, bcliev-
ing as as we do that the Democracy is
not dead, but sleepcth. and that all roads
from Greeley go to Grant that Greeley
was an original abolitionist and an abOrg-
inal secessioniSt that that the abolition
lists and secessionists always worked TO the
same end and their present combination is
only renewal of past cooperation, and
wonderful will it be in the eyes of all men
when the arch enemy of the kukluX be-
comes their chief captain when the prince
OF protection becomes the king of free
trade when the champion of temperance
bears the banner of the bar-room business,
ana satan leads the hosts of heaven, then
truly shall the last be first, for great is the
mystery of GreeleyncSs