The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1872-02-10
VARIETY.

a g Monster in human FORM says that the
only time woman does not exaggerate is when
she is talking Of her own age.
4 jOurneyman blacksmith says he has been
striking for hire wages these twenty years, with
~unifOrm success
Get your life insured for lO, 900 dol" said
a jealous insurance agent, 80 and then, If you die
tomorrow, the widow heart will sing for joy
\ Photographer in Suffolk was recently visited
by young woman, who with sweet simplicity,
asked, - How long does it take to get my photo
graph after leaving my measureY'
eolored man near Canton, Miss, met his
death under rather peculiar circumstances the
other day. lie wished to kill a sheep and held it
ON the track for the approaching loeomotiveltO
perform the deed. The sheep escaped with a
broken leg, but the funeral of the negro took
place next day.
Married ladies are interested in a recent de-
cision rendered by court in the State of New
York, which is that married woman in that
State can not involve her husband in liabilities
for contracts undertaken by herself. Husbands
need not be annoyed by bills of intermnable
length of female extravaganza, If they prefer to
take refuge behind the law.
The report of the postmaster general shows
that in 1870, in London alone, 10 1000, 900 yards
of string were used for tying up letters for the
country, and 1900 pounds of sealing wax for
securing the mail bags, which numbered IN the
tons Of ink were used during the year for post
marking the letters.
A PAPER HIsToKY.--The paper having the
largest circulation-the paper of tobacco. Paper
for the 81 roughs "-sandpaper. Paper contain
ing many fine points-the paper of pins. Paper
illustrated with cuts-editorial exchanges.
Drawing paper. dentists bills. paper that
takes-a sheriff's warrants. Ruled paper-the
French press.
Two little boys who were Familiarity called Tom
and Jack on their first day at school wore asked
their names; to which the FIRST replied g Tom"
That is not polite said the teacher; your
real name Is Thorn as. g And now my little
man." turning to Jack, whose face seemed sud
denly to brighten up with the light of new idea,
=. what is your name?" Jack s." triumphantly
exclaimed the little urchin. .L- ....
Pedigree In reference to Lockbart's attempt
TO make out an irreproachable pedigree for Sir
Walter Scott, Sydney Smith said - When Lady
Lansdowne asked me about my grandfather, L
told her he disappeared about the time of the as
Sizes and we asked no questions"
In Legal Point of View Life, We are told,
is a trial but the worst of IL is there is Court
of Appeal we 90 to in the event of our being
dissatisfied with the result of it. For myself,
should like uncOmmOniy to move for new trial.
learned American counsel, in the middle
of an effecting appeal in court in a sander suit,
gave the following burst of genius - SANDER,
gentlemen, like a bOa-cOnstrIciOr OF gigantic size
and immeasurable proportions, wraps the coils OF
Its unweldly body about its unfortunate victim,
and, needless Of the shrieks Of agony that come
from the inmOst depths of the victim soul, loud
and reverberlating as the mighty thunder that
rolls IN the heavens, it finally breaks it's unlueky
neck against the iron wheel Of public opinion,
forcing him to desperation, then to madness, and
finally crushing him In the hIdeOus jaws of moral
death" ..-...
4 NEw UNITED STATES BANK.-A correspond
ent Of the New York Journal Of Commerce de-
scribes a project soon TO be submitted to Con-
yress it is said BY Senator Sumner, for the char
Ter Of a grand national bank, TO be called " The
Exchequer OF the United States and modelled
sOmew hat after the Bank of England. The plan
contains two departments, the - banking " and
the issue = department, and provides for one
hundred millions of capital, to be taken by sub
scripton. IL Is designed also to take the place of
the present Sub-frcasury.
q Do you mean to say you don't like tripeT'
Miller. making desperate effort, broke from
him, and hurried in CONSERVATION through Gran
bourne alley, followed by Liston, bawiing after
him ... .H
There he goes That's the man that doesn't
like tripe - to the immense amusement of the
numerous passengers, many of whom recognized
the popular comedian, till the Mortified book
seller took 10 his heels and if for bis life
up Long Acre into Bow street, pursued to his
very doorstep by pack of young ragamuHins,
There he goes The man that doesn't like
tripe!' -H1 80 Oh.
LIsToS, Miller AND The TRIPE.-Liston, the
actor delighted IN peculiar sort of a practical
Joking in the streets. Walking one day through
Leicester Square with Mr.. Miller, the theatrical
bookseller of Bow street, he happened to mention
casually that ne was going to have tripe for
dinner dish of which he was particularly fond.
Miller, who hated it, said
a. Tripe Beastly stuff! How came you to eat
it?'
That was enough for ListOn. He stopped sud-
denly in the crowded thoroughfsre in front of
Leicester House, and holding Miller by the arm,
exclaimed in a loud voice
:" What, SIR! So you mean to assert that you
don't like triPe?"
:. Hush l'' muttered Miller. " doa't talk SO
loud people are staring at US
81 ask you sir.'' continued Liston, in still |
louder tones. - do you like triVe?''
90 For heavens sake, hold your t0rguei" cried |
Miller; $ you will have crowd round u.s.
Aud, naturally, people began to stop and |
wonder what was the matter. This was exactly |
what Lisson wanted, and again he shouted: }