The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-04-21
WIT AND wIsD0M.

-
to note.
The conductive mood - Thoughts or
matrimony.
Some men are worth nothing, and 9th g
are worth less.
excuse haste and bad pen," as thu
pig said when he broke out.
The bachelor has to look out for numbe
one, the married man for number two.
When is a candle like tomb stone
When it is put up for late husband.
A paper says, Truth is in type, but ii
crowded out by more important matter"
Queer Mau-The baker who kneads
much, and sells everything he kneads him
self.
little cold collection" she prefers Z" veal
culverts."
Spectators see acqueducts in bnbbling
springs, buildings in stones, and cash in
everything"
There is q boy down East 30 bright that
his mother has to look at him through a
piece of smoked glass.
What is the best time to read the book
of ma uref When spring opeEs the leaves
and autumn turns them.
The scholars are now wrestling over
"haiigram," thalassagram and soma
gram" as names for cable dispatch.
and an indiscreet publisher, is that one let's
out rooms and the other lets out rumors.
An Ohio editor insists that "monthly
SCHOOL reports must be handed in on We'd
nesday of each week to insure their publ
cation"
A hotel in Grape street, Syraccse, before
which there is a large watering..trough, has
a sign bearing the suggestive words,
"Milkmen's Retreat"
brusque reporter, on entering a railway
car, No one responded. 4" Beg pardon, if
have said too much. withdraw the last
EXPRESSION"
Five acres are to be rooted over for the
auditorium of Mr.. Gilmore's musical festi-
val. Being in Boston, they will, of course,
be wiseacres, and we really thought there'd
be more of them.
Stephen Pearl Andrews suggests that
"the absolution elementismus of being,
echoes or reappears by analogy within the
relatoid and concretoid elaborismus." This
should be generally known.
Woman Ahead Again. - Glashier, the
aeronaut, has noticed that the voice of
woman is audible in balloon at the height
of about two miles, while that of man
has never reached higher than a mile.
A facetious contemporary says, "Gentle-
men. while walking, should keep their |
hands in their pockets. 1t shows their
figure to advantage, keeps their hands
warm, and out of other peoples pockets"
"Wby am a deaf man like Tom Moore 2"
asked Guido of Pompey. "Don't know no
and don't know muffin dat dey's alike in >"
answered Pompey.-" Because he ia de.
barred of hearin' (de Bard of Erin)," said
Guido.
Give the positive, comparative and su-
perlative degrees of the adjective 'solemn"
with illustrations of the meaning of the
word. Solemn, being married solemner,
not being able to get married solemnest,
married"
Who's hit which Republican paper SAYS,
We have had no lack of rulere who used
the Government as mere machinery to lift
themselves into more lasting notoriety, or
ing out it's feelers on every side to draw {
food into its maw." "Food into it's mawn I
is good phrase. {
Artemus Ward was on the slow California ,,
train, and he went to the conductor, and
suggested that the cowcatcher was on the G
wrong end Of the train for, said he, ".You
will never overtake a COW, you know, but I
if you'd put it on the other end it might be q
useful, for now there's nothing on earth to I
hinder COW from waikiki right in and e
bitin the folks"
=, Some time since two young ladies near
Newmarket fell into company with gypsy a
VINO, for tritiing sum, proposed showing a
hem their future husbands faces in a pail y
Of water. The water being procured, they h
we're we're told to look. They did SO: when, a.
discovering nothing strange, they ex- q
Claimed they saw only their own faces N
. Well" replied the gypsy, "those will be ~ IL
'onr husbands faces when you are mar ~
led"
A Proper Toast Alpbonse Karr, the sc
gardener poet, has offered a bon mot to the re
World. He was lately present at a banquet W
!lven by the disciples of Habnemann, the ro
cunder of homeopathy. Toasts were ey
'iyen to the health of every medical al
celebrity by everybody, when the presi- ed
lent remarked "Monsieur Karr, you have VI
lot proposed the health of any one" The ct
'oet rose and modestly replied, "I pro- of
ose the health of the sick" sh
we'll known poet refuses all requests A.
or his autograph. A collector of auto vi
ra2hs, knowing this fact, thought to cir ~, ne
umvent him by the shallow artifice of y
oh trn, l. -