The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1872-05-03

/ Impossible OF requirement except by
memorizing every word in the language
and that the fewest number of even ed.
ucated persons spell correctly according
to the present arbitrary method. Those
editors who did not come up from the
printing case are no better spoilers thar
other folks, and punctuation with sucI
is one Of the lost arts. It is said that
Horace Greeley is critically correct in
orthography and punctuation, aCLieI
may be so. However, if I did not know
that H. G. is a living American, and ]
had not learned his autograph, 1 should
certainly decide that his manuscript is
or ought to be, the first dead language
How any man can be said 10 be a good
speller when his script does not contain
any letters belonging to any known Ian
guage is more than can guess. The
wittiest, most humorous and most sar-
castle remark that Horace ever made
was when he handed his manuscript to
the typo with the instruction to tfollow
copy" That beats Mark Twain's best
There is nothing in the 'Innocents
Abroad to compare with it. Not even
the celebrated witticism upon the chi
rography of Christopher Columbus, for
if there were any connection between
common sense and the photography OF
II. G., he would be voted an idiot by ev-
I cry school in the United States.
In looking over the ground of contest
for the future year, one cannot help but
see that the Bible is the Molakoff from
which the enemies of Universal Suffrage
expect to do most of their fighting; and
indeed it is their most advantageous DO
sition. Do you suppose that any person
Of sound mind would be guilty of as
much folly in one communication as
your correspondent who writes under
the heading of "What will you do with
it?'' signing himself with three stars Il
will call him ''Tri-aster' for conven-
ience), unless he could repose his non
sense upon the authority of Holy Writ? g?
You know African slavery was repug-
nant to every better feeling of human
nature, and totally indefensible except
for the examples and directions of the
Old Testament Scriptures. "Of the
heather round about you ye shall buy
bondwomen and bondmen," etc; .and
forthwith that relic of barbarism claimed
respectability among Christian nations.
The Mormons derive polygamy from
the Bible, and they obtain a certain re-
spectability and security and hundreds
of defenders for another swerving relic
because Jew David had a hundred wives
and concubines, and was a man after
Gods own heart. Now, when the en-
lightened moral sentiments of progress
sive civilization ask for the recognition
of wOman's equality with man, we are
met with the same stale old plea of ''it's
contrary to the Bible" "God made
woman to be ruled by man and ordained
her subjugation to him, and we cannot
change the relation without disobeying
the Divine will" The Bible does not
seem to be harmonious in its teachings,
or else the theological scholars are such
numskulls that they cannot under
stand them. The Sermon on the Mount
would abolish slavery of every descrip-
ton. There is no serfdom or repression
contained in that genuine Republican
document; but our Christian friend:
don't preach often from that text, and
have never yet heard of one practicing
its requirements. Why, what would bt
thought of Christian who, when he i.
struck upon one cheek, should turn the
other? Or when a brother minister haC
taken his coat should bestow his cloal
also? Or when he is asked to go a mile
with his enemy should go two more
Or should even attempt to love hi
neighbor as himself? Or to love hi
enemies at all, and to do good for evil
etc, etc. Everybody knows that no
body practices Christs precepts or fol
lows his example. The practice gener
ally, among protesting Christians, il
quite the reverse. They, like the Nor
mons are praeticing the Old Testamen
doctrines Of an eye for an eye and tootl
for tooth, and holding their wives un
der Bible subjection according to tn,
Mosaic Laws. If any person doubts thi
assertion, there is very easy way {,
test the matter Offer one of our divine
500 dollar bill and see if he don't TAX
it, and quite quickly, too, for fear h
may never have another chance. Insul
him once, watch close, and see if h
don't Ego for you" Steal his horse
and observe with what alacrity he vii
deposit your body in the penitentiary
Borrow money of him, and see wit
what gusto he takes the highest pc
cent, with a compound regularly pc
annum.
There are some glorious exceptions {
the above criticisms, but generally th
effort of Jesus Christ to make men loN
ing, kind, gentle, deferential, humbl,
generous and human, and above all I
"do unto Others as you would have otl
ers do unto you," has been so much of
failure with our present day Christian
that they are not entitled more tha
other people to dictate and explain tn
: moral and social relations of mankind
Their opinions are so sectarian, an
their practice so adverse, that the
opinions concerning Holy Writ are nc
entitled to much weight. All thing
, considered, the best plan is to go fol
: ward with our progressive enterprise
abolish slavery wherever we can find