The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-05-24
WIT AND WISDOM.
asst life.-Married life.

A fast life.-Married life.
Joint acknowledgements.
Attached couples-Oyster shells.
A man in the write place-an editor.
Hop merchants-Dancing masters.
To make both ends meet-bow very
low.
Hard words mostly flow from soft
heads.
Love is the egotism of two.-IA. de
La Sale.
A sad dog-One who tarries long at
his whine.
A drawing room-The apartment Of
a dentist.
How to handle a red-hot iron-wait
till it cools.
An oyster leads placid life until he
gets info q stew.
Motto for sewing you
sew, shall you rip.
Irony-To ask hardware merchant
the price Of cast-steel soap.
Love Is to the moral nature what
the sun is to the earth.-[ Balzac.
A student defines filtration to be at
tentioD, without intention.
Which are the most seasonable
clothes for all seasons? Pepper and
salt.
With the majority of mankind, for
giveness is but form Of forgetfulness.
The word impossible" is the moth
er-tougue of little souls, said Lord
Broughsm.
A sarcastic lady says the only thing
which keeps Lent is her best silk UNI
brella.
Hercules was a model husband;
rather than stay out at night he in
variably carried his club home with
him.
Josh Billings says: III q man hiss got
eighty thousand dollars at interest and
owns the house he lives i'm, IL amt
much trouble to be a philosopher.
II you don't look carefully after the
bits of your horse, you may one day
be looking after the bits Of your car
riage.
A good listener Is as needful to q
witty talker rs steel to flint. 1t is the
sharp contact OF the two which makes
the sparks fly.
Have you much fish in your bag?
asked q person of q fisherman. Yes,
there's good eel In it, was the rather
slippery reply.
The man who said two porcupines
makes one prickly pair, is knight o
the quill, and not professor of mathe-
matics.
When the prince de Conde was told
that his enemies called him o defOrmi-
ty. How do they know that? he
said. They have never seen my back.
On earth we have nothing to do with,
success or with results, but only being
true to God and for God for it is sim
cerity and not success which Is the
sweet SAVIOR before God.
More pert than pleasant.-Husband:
] hope you have no objection to my
getting weighed. Certainly not, my
dear; but why ask the question ? Only
to see IL you would let me have my
weigh for once.
A correspondent of a Baltimore paper
wants to know why marriage and
death notices should be paid for? For
the best'Of reasons one Is an advertise
ment Of cOparnership and the other Is
o notice OF dissolution. Business ID
business.
A mechanic In q Vermont village re-
Gently put out q playcard, Will Not
Trust No More, whereupon his rival
across the street put over his shop door
the words, Trust Here Forever. Could
do more 7?
Layater saws that YOU never know a
man until you have divided an in
heritance with him. / would also say
that you never know man until you
have got into scrape with him, and
can see whether he Is willing ~ take
fair share Of the blame.
John SAKE is responsible for the fol-
following paraphrase from Martial
Your nose and eyes your father gave, you say,
foui mouth your grands.re; and your mother
meek
Your fine xpession; tell me now, pray,
Were In the name Of Heaven you got your
eheSkf