Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-02-01
Wise and Otherwise.

Ii small boy is a lad, is abig boy a
ladder2
HAPPY is he who limits his wants to
his necessities.
Who is the straightest man mentioned
in the Bible2 Joseph, because Pharaoh
made ruler of him.
WHY are the letters "oz" like an
advertisement Because they are flor
announcement.
BLoaas had his nose pulled, and was
asked by friend to resent it. He said
he would next tweak.
The man who had too many irons in
the fire has just sent in mangled
statement of his affairs.
From grave to gay is not such a great
transmission after all. In both moods
man be equally amusing.
OLD shoes are thrown after newly
married people to try to convince them
that they have not been sold.
If Burns were living now, he would
tell the man that wants to see himself
as others see him, to run for office.
WHY is Ireland likely to become the
richest country in the world !? Because
the capital is always Dublin.
A SEA captain explained to an inquisi.
tive lady that they used shrouds aboard
ship to bury dead calms at sea.
A PERSON looking at some skeletons,
the other day, asked a young doctor
present where he got them. We raised
them"
IT believed that the first one who
supplied the navy with salt provisions
,r,oz Nooh rubo,, bo fnak Ham infn the
Ark.
A HUMOROUS apothecary in Boston ex-
poses cake of soap in his shop window,
with the pertinent inscription, Cheaper
than dirt"
A aRAvE-DIGGER who had buried Mr..
Button, sent the following curious bill
to his widow "To making Button.
hole two shilhngs."
SOME one wants to know why an al
manac is simply advice thrown away.
Because it comes in at one year and
goes out at the other.
A MAN who has travelled through New
Jersey says that he saw some land there
so poor that you couldn't raise disturb
ance on it.
QUEEN ELIZABETH had fourteen hun
Half the number ought to be enough
for any lady.
ONE of Alexis's aides is Lieutenant
Tudeer-a name applied to the entire
staff, since the committee began paying
the reception bills.
The difference between a country and
a city greenhorn is, that one would like
to know everything, and the other
thinks he can tell him.
IT is complained of the eminent
DIR. Brown that he toasted Miss Smith
through the entire season at Saratoga
without making her Brown.
ANOTHER old lady has taken her first
ride in the cars, and remarked when
| the train ran off the track, you fetch
up rather sudden, don't ye p
A WESTERN poet sings: "The melan.
choly days have come, the saddest Of
the year, when it's too rough for whisky
slings, too cold for lager beer"
AN indiscreet man confided secret
to another, and begged him not to re-
| peat it. dts all right" was the reply.
| &c will be as close as you were."
IT is said that green tarletan dress
| contains arsenic enough to kill a man
and yet men do not seem to be afraid OF
| going near green tarletan dresses.
IT is said that if you take two letters
from money, there will be one left. We
have heard of man who took money
from two letters, and there wasn't any
left.
| ALEXANDER STEVENS has made another
joke. He speaks of Scott 4 Co., as
:" the knavy crew who have been man
aging the ship of state in South Caro-
lima
A WOMAN applied to lady for the
position of mistress of her kitchen.
Being asked her name, she replied,
| Nasticnnk An an0aRamant was not