Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-11-01

! Mr.. Nasty, in a recent letter from Cheppaqua,
thus tells the story of a signal service rendered
by him to the cause of his great chief, Horace
Greeley:
The tricks NV the opposishun to the sainted
| Greeley are too numerous 10 be kept track nv.
! In the old times at the Corners, whenever we
| he'd polilikle meetin, Pollock and Joe Biglor
he'd habit, jest az commenst speakin, 10 start
dog fife on the opposite corner. They kept
two savage dogs on purpose. The first yelp nv
| Pollock's yaller dog, and every blasted demo-
| brat present wood leave the house. 1t wood be
| emptled ez quick ez the Bascom he'd advertised
| free drinks.
l got an anonymous letter last week from Moo
| York, developin similar plot witch he'd bin laid
| by the republican committy, by witch they hoped
| to carry that city-wich is our stronghold "a
| plot witch for fendsh nefairiousniS hez never
bin exalted in the history NV politics IN this or
| any other country.
| The plot was simply this The committy wuz
TO 90 TO work and organize gigantic series NV
prize ies and rat killinS in other states all to
| take place on the 9Th Nv November, and all so
| lar from Moo York ez TO make the departcher
NV them witch shood wish to participate in EN-
necessary the day afore. Thus they WIZ a 60
/ ing TO place prize ites ez follows:
John Morrissey and Ned 0'Baldwin in Mary
land.
| Tom Allen and Jem Mace in Virginia.
Pooley Mace and the Irish Sampson in Can
ada.
Icy Lazarus aud young Chambers in Mary
| land.
Patsey the Litter and Groggy Tim in vir-
| ginia.
Irish Ned and the Birmingham Washer in
| Maryland.
Teddy the Bruiser and the Devonshire Pet in
Virginia.
Then ten or twenty more matches between
more noted pugilists, all in Maryland, Virginia
and Canada.
This wood take out NV the city at least 10000
| NV the most reliable democrats, and wood
| make at least 10000 difference in the vote, in
| aSmuch ez the heft NV EN- voIe twice on an aver
| age.
But this was not all. A large host nv the
| democratic voters of Moo York cannot afford to
| so so far away. To keep these men and swindle
| us out NV their votes, they proposed to organize
gigantic rat tournament on the remOtest pint
| NV Long Island, to commence the day before
| eleckshun and coutnoo till the day after They
wuz to buy up the Boston coliseum and sit it
| up there, and convert it into an enormous rat
| pit-a pit on scale NY magnitood Sch ez
| the most enthusiastic rat-tancler he'd
| never dreamed NV in his widest drunken
ness 1t wuz TO be to the rat wat the
| Boston jubilee wuz 10 the moosic. They wuz
| TO offer prizes nv sufficient magntood to indoose
owners NV dogs to carry EN- thar, and they he'd
| purchased two hundred thousand Nv the biggest
rats witch the city afforded, that there might be
| no lack NV entertainment. They wuz TO so ar
| range it that the ftes wood foller each other in
| rapid succession, so that every man of EN- wood
be held entranced and prevented from leGvin
| the buildin. Long tables spread with sand
witches TO be set free to all, and occasionally
a barrel nv whiskey wuz to be tapped, all NV
| witch wuz to be free.
Nv course this plan, eff carried out, wood take
| nine tenths NV the democracy out nv the city,
and their votes, ez well ez their services ez re-
peaterS, wood be lost to us. And WuZ told that
| the money for buidn the coliseum and to char
| ter the steamboats, wuz contributed cheerfdily
| by the biznis men Nv the city They did it ez
measure NV economy, calkelatin that there
| wood be gain NV all it wood cost in hevin all
the thieves absent three days, to say nothin NV
the Number witch wood probably be killed and
wood never return no more.
When ] read the letter to the great and good
| Greeley he exploded into fit Nv profanity, the
| like Nv witch | never herd.
"Why, that carries Moo York city agin me"
sed he
Certainly" said |, "and it must be stopped"
To which he consented, and the resident COM
| mttee furnished me money TO 90 to Moo York
| and confer with the most prominent thieves and
| garroters, and show EN- the danger they wuz in
NV losin control Nv the city eff they fell into this
| trap. | accepted the mission reluctantly, for /
don't like the Ticker they hev in Moo York. A
man to drink ii successfully must hey his bow
els gass-lined and backed with fire brick Eff
VOC are not seasoned to it, it kills you-ef your
innards are tanned to the pint NV livin under it,
| your membranes are so tough that it hiz no
heatin eifeck. Still, went cheerfully
When ! got there found TO my ineXpressible
| delite that there wuzn't nothin NV it--that it
wuz all hoax started to make the great and
| good HOrris uneasy. ! returned and stated to
EN- that he'd nipped the conspiracy in the bud,
| but that it he'd ben an expensive process ez
| he'd TO buy off lot NV 'em. The committee
promptly paid me the sum | stated to EN- ez
| hevin disburSed.