davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
AN AFFECTING STORY.
A California Editor Loses his
Wife His Model Obituary.

A disconsolated editor thus bemoans his
departed spouse
Thus my wife died. No more will those
loving hands pull off my boots and part my
black hair as only true wife can. Nor
will ever those willing feet rep]enish the
coal bod or water pail. No more will she
arise amid the tempestuous storms Of win
ter and HE herself away to build the fire
without disturbing the slumbers of the man
who dotted on her SO artlessly. Her memo
~ is embalmed in my heart of hearts. |
wanted to embalm her body, but l found
that l could embalm her memory cheaper
I procured Of Eli midget, neighbor of
mine, a very pretty gravestone. His wife
was consumptive, and he kept it on hand
several years in anticipation of her death.
But she rallied last spring and bis hopes
were blasted. Never shall forget the poor
mans grief when I asked him to part with
it. "Take it, Skinner, and may you never
know what it is to have your soul racked
with disappointment as mine has been -
and he burst into food of tears His
spirit was indeed utterly broken.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
An inuuiring widow, who appealed to her

An inquiring widow, who appealed to her
departed husband to advise her whether
she had better make purchase she was con-
templating (of at least is said to have ap-
pealed,) has been answered, the "communi-
cation" being published in the Banner of
Light, and being in effect as follows: "My
answer is, do just as you please, because I
know you will any way. l don't forget
peoples dispositions, even if I have been
through death. So, Nancy, do just as you
please. If you want to buy, buy; and if
you get into trouble by it, get out of it.
You are smart enough"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
JAMES J. FOSTER.
ArrhrSnA crnDEEm

JAM ES D. FOSIEfS.
AUGUSTA STREET,
STANTON VA,
respectfully informs the citizens of Staunton and
surrounding country, that he has leased for a
term of years the large Store House recently oc-
cupied by Peck & Cushing, and directly opposite
the Court House. whore he has opened very
large and superior stock of the following
GENUINE LIQUORS:
Pure Mountain Whskeys, all grades
Fine old Apple Brandy.
Genuine Imported French Brandy.
Imported Rum and Gin.
Pure Sherry and Medeil Wines.
Champagne Claret &c.
Scotch Ale and London Porter, together with
every article usually kept in a first class Liquor
House.
A superior assortment of Tobacco and Segars
always on hand.
The attention of the trade is respectfully in
vited to the above stock of Superior Liquors,
which will be sold at such prices as to give
entire satisfaction to all
Having had large experience in the Liquor
trade, and possessing superior advantages in the
manufacture ofpure Augusta County Whiskeys,
he is enabled to offer the best goods at prices U.s.
ually paid for inferior articles.
JAMES J. FOSTER.
Augusta ST., opposite Court House.
Stanton Va,
P.S. Orders from the Country will receive
prompt attention, and goods guaranteed.
april2l-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

Mg- Entrance on the left ~a@
AFTER CROSSING LEWIS CREEK Bird GE
Having recently leased the above Stables, late
ly occupied by Ed. Burke, and having supplied
them with every adjunct to complete livery,
we are now prepared to furnish our friends, and
the public generally, with anything they may
need IN that line.
Our horses are young fresh fast, and
well broken our Buggies, Carriages &C., new
and of the latest style, and our drivers Sc
lected with special reference to the comfort and
safety of our patrons. 5fElisG
Pleasure parties accommodated at all hours
with single or double buggies riding horses, for
ladies and gentlemen, Carriages, Spring wagons
&c. Parties wishing to visit Weyer's Cave
would do well to give US call. 1
Horses fed by the day, month or year, at usual
rates.
Special attention given to the sale of stock.
We still occupy the extensive stabling at the
old National Stable ground, where our friends
(if they find it more convenient to calD can be
accom-, odaLed as heretoforo
Hoping, by strict attention to our own bust
ness, to merit continuance of the favor shown
US in other places, we respectfully solicit share
of the public patronage. dec8-tf.
NEW LIQUOR STORE.
~ LARGE AND SUPERIOR
STOCK OF
IMPORTED AND DOMESTIC LIQUORS.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
GLE gtauaton Winhifator.
ADVERTISING RATES.

Advertisements for less than three months Will
he inserted at the rate OF One Dollarper square OF
eight lines or less for the first. and SO cents Tor
each subsequent insertion. Unless the NUMBER
of insertions be marked upon the manuscrlp. ~
will he nublished until forbid and charged ac-
cordingly. sa;ao+os for
office communications calling upon, advocating
or opposing candidates, and all communications
or notices Of personal or private character, or
intended or calculated to promote any private en-
terprse or interest," will be charged for as au''f'
tisements.
ma- Special notices 30 cents per line for every
insertion. d ~. .Lo,o
Ms- A lh.oO rangement made with tn. those
who adve ss<SN Il three. six or twelve months'
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

A DELICATE GOVERNMENTAL Young
lady, being addressed by gentleman much
older than herself, told him the only objec-
ton which she had to a union with him, was
the probability Of his dying before her, and
leaving her to feel the sorrows of widow
hood !; to which he made the following in
genious and delicate complimentary reply
blessed is the man that bias virtuous wife
for tbs number Of his days shall be doub-
led y
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

Mrs. Darlington entered the Office of the
probate judge lcalled "Civilian,") and i'll.
quired in her blandest tone care you the
civil william p "Do you wish to insult me,
madam :" said the judge. EYES," replied
the amiable lady 'my brother died de-
tested, and left three infdel children, and
Pm to be their executioner so l want to
insult tho civil villain about it."
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

UMBER, LUMBER.
IL CO-PARTNERSHIP.
R. H. Bell and G. R. Mathews having this day
bought out the entire interest of T. B. Cauthorn
in the sSteam Saw Mill'' of Hughes & Cauthorn,
and having formed partnership with Mr.. G. P :.
Hughes, will continue the Lumber business at
their Lumber Yard on the Va. U. R. R., near
Milboro' Depot.
Are prepared to furnish Lumber in any guam
tity, and at reasonable prices.
Letters on business or orders should be ad
dressed to HUGHES & CO.,
Cady's Tunnel P. O.,
May 4th 1863. Bath Co., Va.
take this method of returning my thanks to
the public for their kind and liberal patronage,
and bespeak continuance of the same towards
the above firm. Mr.. G.. P. Hughes is hereby
authorized to settle up the business of the late
firm of Hughes& Cauthorn.
mayl5' 68-tf. 7. B.CAUTHORN
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
There are three kinds of men in the worlt

There are three kinds of men in the world
the Wills, the Wonts, and the Cants.-
The first effect everything; the others oppose
everything. Il will" builds our railroads
and steamboats, II WON'T don't believe in
experiment and nonsense while IL can't"
grows weeds for wheat, and commonly ends
his days in the slow digestion of bankrupt
cy. 1t is lamentable fact that the latter
are to be found in all conditions Of society
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
Professional Cards
TEMALE INFIRMARY.- DIR. B. P. REESE
with long and successful experience O
the treatment of

DISEASES PECULIAR TO FEMALES"
has opened an INFIRMARY where Ladies VIII
be received for treatment. 1t is useless to men
ton the advantages to be derived from being
under the constant supervision of the Physician,
in many of these cases. Experience has long
since taught, by the evidence Of the best physi-
clans as we'll as the Institutions of this charac-
ter in the large cities, this is the only way OF
successful treatment. b.
Patients will be received as members of the
family, having every attention necessary for
their comfort and improvement. aug4-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

Tit for Tat-It is beauty's privilege to
kill Time; and, in revenge, Time Kills
beauty.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

A mlser grows rich by seeming poor an
extrayagant man grows poor by seeming
rich.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
The Josh Billings Papers Short
Answers to Long Letters.

Answers 10 LOnS Acseefs'
James-A kat is sed to bav nine lives
but I beleaf that they don hav but one
square death
1t is almost impossible to tell when kat
is dead without the aid of koraner's jury
1 have only one way myself to Judge ov
ded kat
If a,kat il killed in the fall ov the year,
and thrown over the stun wall IN Jure
nabor' s.yard, and lays there all winter un-
der sao bank, and don't thaw out in the
springlana keeps quiet during the summer
month"; and Amt. mlssin when winter sets in
again, I hav alwus saids that kat was ded,
or was playin' the thing dreadful fine.
Albert-The length Of time that goose
kan stan on ono leg depends entirely upon
the natiff endurance ov the goose.
A good tuf goose, / should think, mite
do it for three weeks bi shopping legs &C.
cssionally.
Frederick Injuns kan be civilized once
10 while, but it knocks at least twenty per
cent, oph from the value Of the Injun. be
sides hurting the general reputation ov the
civilizashun
: -Jonathan--There IL great nenny tIte
spots in this world, and probably the best
way tew get out ov them il tew dig out.
A tite spot IL good deal like a mouse
trap, dreadful easy tew git into, but un-
handy tew git out ov.
I don't think it hurts a man tew git into
a tite spot once in while; it kind ov gives
him an idee of the size of the hole he kan
ell to the best advantage.
Sum folks are alwus hunting for tie spots.
and kan moste alwus fnd them this may
inkrease their cunning, but it never will in-
krease their wisdum.
Jim-speaking ov lazyness sets ne tew
thinkir that lazyness must have bin the con-
dishun ov man if he had alwuz lived in the
garden ov Eden.
If Adam had plenty ov jobs on hand. the
devil would have had harder job to seduce
him.
Adam would never have bilt emmy rale
rodes, nor Nikelsun pavements in the gar
den of Eden, nor never would have be
queathed US emmy heather tew kultivate.
1t il also true, on the other hand, that
he never wud have wore enney tite boots,
nor sheet iron collars.
About the biggest joke there IL, about the
fal! Of man il, that he haz larnt how tew
"rute hog or d." .... .
This is worth, in my opinyun, very near
frlst cost.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26


How TO ENJOY LfFE.-It is wonderful to
what an extent people believe happiness de.
ponds on not being obliged to labor. Hon
est, hearty, contented labor is the only
source of happiness, as well as the only
guarantee of life. The gloom of misan-
throphy is not only great destroyer Of hap.
piness we might have, but intends to de-
.troy life itself Idleness and luxury pro-
duce premature decay much faster than
many trades regarded as the most exhaus-
tive and fatal to longevity. Labor in fine,
instead of shortening the term of life, actual
ly increases it. 1t is the lack of occupation
that annually destroys so many of the
wealthy, who have nothing to do, play the
part of drones, and, like them make speedy
exit, while the busy bee fills out its days in
usefulness and honor
RULES FOR THE JOURNEY OF LIFE.--The
following rules, of DR.. West, according to
his memorandum, thrown to together as gen.
eral way-marks in the journey of life -
Never to ridicule sacred things, or what
others may esteem such, however absurd
they may appear to be. Never to show lev
ity when the people are professedly engaged
in worship. Never to resent supposed in.
jury till you know the views and motives of
the author of it !; nor seek occasion to retail
late. Never to judge PERSONS character
by external appearance. Always to take the
part of an absent person who is censured in
company, so far as truth and propriety will
allow Never to think the worse of another
on account of his differing from you in polit.
ical or religious opinions. Never to dispute
if you can fairly avoid it. ~
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
Would You.

AOus
Would you keep your rosy compl xion
wear thick-soled shoes.
Would you enjoy quiet content. do away
with airs and pretense. t.-..
Would you have others respect your
opinions, respect you never disown them
yourself.
Would you marry and be happy. to an
ounce of love add at least grain of good
sense and judgement, in choosing c pam
ion.
Would you have good health, 60 out in
the sunshine. s ckness is worse that freck-
les.
| Would you respect yourself, keep your
heart and body clean.
Would you retain the love of friend, do
not be sel6shly exciting.
Would you gain the confidence of bust
ness men, do not try to support the style of
your employer, on a small salary
Would you never dread to look any one
in the face, pay your debts.
Would you never be told lie, do not
ask personal questions.
Would you sleep well and have good
appetite, attend to your own business.
Would you command the respect of men,
never permit yourself to indulge in vnl gar
| jokes or conversation.
Would you deserve the name of the lady,
never. either to men or women, deccud to
obscenity or low illusions. To your face
they may laugh at your wit, but to others
they will speak disrespectfully of you.-
Elm Orlou
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
LIVER REGULATE

DIR. SIMMONS
LIVER REG ULA TOR.
A preparation of roots and herbs, warranted
to be strictly vegetable, and can do no injury to
any one.
1t has been used by hundreds, and known for
the last 40 years Of the NEST reliable, eff
cacious and harmless preparations ever offered to
the suffering, If taken regularly and persistent
ly, it is sure to cure dyspepsia, headache, jaun-
dice, costiveness, sick headache, chronic diar-
rhoa, affections Of the bladder, camp dysentery,
Hafections of the kidneys,
3fever, nervousness, chills,
8diseases of the skin, i'm
URrc171 .Top purity of the blood, mel
n ancholy, or depression of
ssplrits, heartburn, collie,
or pains in the bowels,
b pain in the head, fever
and ague, dropsy, boils, pain in the back, &c.
Prepared only by
J. H. ZEILIN & CO,
Druggists, Macon, Ga.
Price ST. by mail, $1.25
For sale by
TROUT, STR1BLING & BERKELEY,
jan27-1y Druggists, Stanton, Va.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

Improved stock eat no more than the
common, but briag better prices
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
BY HARRY MAXWELL sNYTHE.

A-itF INSCRIBED TO l..
+- BYHARRY MAXWELL sNYTHE.
Oft the hopes of life are blighted,
When the ship goes down ut sea: r-
And the wrongs of lifetime righted,
When she enters port from the lee.
Oh the hopes with which she is freighted
Midst the surges of the sea, and It's foam
How the heart beats with dread, when belated
With delight, when she's sailing home.
How we stand by the shore and listen
To the ominous sight of the sea
And we cry to the waves to hasten,
That our streasures" may harbored be,
Had ne'er had a reason to roam
Though in storm may-hap they have perished
''Still we look for their sailing home"
Oh my treasure I've often told you,
What my darling" should be to me,
How the truest of hearts would hold you
When the "ships come home from the sea-
They are laden with hopes that 1utter,
Like the bubble that rides the foam,
With love that no tongue can utter,
Those ships that are sailing home. i4
And the tide, is it ever coming?
The tide from the sounding sea,
With its white pillows ''constantly fonming,"
That shall bring my treasure to me,
Come tide, come storm, come treasure,
Come winds, come waves, and foam,
The log-books may providence measure
Of the ships that are sailing home.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
LIVER

weakness, debility, and low spirits: Sometimes
many of the above symptoms attend the disease,
and at other times very few Of them; but the
liver is generally the organ most involved Cure
the Liver with
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

To STOP M1cE.-Common brown soap is
the very best thing with which to stop
mouse Or rat-hole. Soap they abhor, and
if piece is wedged in they will never trouble
that place again.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

SHAVING CREAM.-Take one pound of
soft-soap in a jar; add to it one quart of
best alcohol; set the jar in a vessel of boil
ing water until the soap is dissolved. Per-
fume with essential oil to suit This is a
good article for shaving. especially for those
troubled with pimplos on the face. Two or
three drops rubbed on the face with the end
of the finger is enough fer shaving. Dip
the end of the brush in little hot water,
brush the faco briskly, and it will raise a
rich lather.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
Poetry.

d. For the..Vindicator. .-l-E
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

FROST BITES Dissolve one handful Of
copperas in pan half full of warm water
soak the feet well in it, set aside and repeat
until it is all drawn out. Often one appli-
cation will answer, according to extent Of
disease.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

CLEANING SILKS AND MERINos. Crate
two or three large potatoes, add to them
pint of cold water, let them stand short
time, pour off the LIQUID clear, or strain it
through sieve, when it will be resdy for
use. Lay the silk on fiat surface, and ap-
ply the liquid with clean sponge till the
dirt is we'll separated; dip each piece in
pail of clear water, and hang up to dry with
out wringing. Iron, while damp, on the
wrong side.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

A SIMPLE REMEDY.-A farmer says: cit
is now over twenty years since learned
that sweet oil would cure the bite of rattle
snake, not knowing it would cure other kinds
of poison. Practice, observation and expe-
rience have taught me that it will cure pois-
on of any kind, both on man or beast.
think no farmer should be without bottle
Of it in his house. The patient must take
spoonful internally, and battle the wound
for cure. To cure horse, it requires
eight times as much as it does for man.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
Get a Home and Keep 1t.
We clip the following from he Memphi,

We clip the following from the Memphh
Times
A large proportion of the American peo-
pie are restless, rowing, scattering, driven
abont from place to place by every spring
| freshet Of popular excitement. Their desire
for quick gains and their perpetual motion
wears them out prematurely. They build
for lifetime, residences, and are ready to sell
out their newly built homestead a week after
it is fnished-for less than cost-and off
they go, perpetually swinging around the
circle of chronic change. To the pleasures
of home and neighborhooa attachment to
repose of feeling and content Of mind, and
love of objects around them, they are stran-
gers. The fruition Of trees they plant, they
rarely witness. OF all thrir possessions,
they have nothing home like to galddeu
their hearts. The gardens they lay out, tue
furniture they buy, and the houses they
build afford no home-love memories. After
wearing Que half a lifetime in perpetual
change of habitation, with little gain and
great loss, they see in their past career,
nothing but failure Habits way ward, the
mind perplexed, their purpose cowed, their
Energies bafied and disappointed, they sur
render to fate, and accept in moody despair
their abject situation, and often, with con-
science scared aud morals wrecked, with.
out friends or heme, they settle down too
late, and die among strangers. A good
home, and the queen of the homestead, a
good wife, are essential to the happiness of
every man, and nothing will as surely at
tach children to parents and to home virtues,
as lifelong homestead, the memories of
which grow in delight with every increasing
year.
Parson Brady, whom mentioned yes
terday as an Allison Methodist, is the edit
or whose conduct invited cowhiding at
the indignant hands of Carleton, Of the In
dianola Leader, also a republican. The par
son took the whip out of Carleton's hand
and held him off at arms length for time,
and then let him 60. It is said that the
next day an old farmer from the Western
part of Warren county met Brady when the
following dialogue ensued:
F. Brother Brady I am, SO thankful
that your faith abided in you and you did
not strike Carleton.
Glory be to God you lived up to the ssr-
mon on the mount and your practice went
hand in hand with your profession.
Brady. eyes, I am glad that Christian
ity stood by me in that moment when pas
sion sorely tempted me to punish my cow.
ardly sssailant, but the faith given to the
Fathers and taught me at the knees Of my
Methodist mother sustained me"
2. (raising his eyes and devoutly ejacu-
lating an "amen") "Yes, it will stand ev-
cry trial"
Brady. by the way, Bro. what
would you have done in my plaeA %
q. with emphasis and unction) "Iwould
have licked him like Hill"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26
business Cards.

4 The Symptoms OF Liver
Complaint are uneasiness
and pain in the side
Sometimes the pain is in
Rthe shoulder and is mista-.
ken for rheumatism. The
stomach is affected with
Moss of appetite and sick
raj costive, sometimes alter
The head is troubled with
and dull, heavy
sensation, considerable
loss of memory, accompa-
MED with painful sensa-
Elton of having left I'M
done something which
ought to have been done.
20 ftc n complaining of
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

AN ANT TRAr.-Procure large sponge,
wash it we'll and press it dry, which will
leave the cells quite open. Then sprinkle
over it some fine white sugar, and place it
near where the ants are most troublesome.
They will soon collect upoG the sponge and
take up their abode in the cells. It is then
only necessary to dip the sponge in scalding
water, which will wash them out dead. Put
on more sugar and set the trap for a new
haul.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

ness, bowels in gener.
mating with lax. II
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

ssWhen the Ships come Sailing
HOme.''
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

INSCRIBED TO L.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

TTOUSRANDSIaNP AINTINyE!a zs7z5;a aa5
IIiot aeriberss has ecommeneea tba '7 Ho Sao
and Sign Painting business ana is now prepared shared
to execute any work; Fin town and country en-
trusted to hifnlin the best manner and on such
terms as Will be entirely satisfactory
Orders for work (dntil further notice. left at
the store iof Owen @. Norris Esq, will be
promptly attended to. ,4@-'-e'
apr28-tf G.P. THOMPSON
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-01-26

QTGfigsIAe undersigned respectfully calls
.lCl Os;ethe' attention Of hi, friends to the
fact that upon his own hook he proposes to carry
on general AUCTION BUSINESS at the old
s Ha fgfnss Spring Lane.
ne W.T. aslelo ~ sale Of property Of ali kinds,
elther III .oN Ut country, as reasonable as any
ianz-tf.<g ,rse gr,gs, * r. =" NJ O rs