Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1872-05-16
ODDS AND ENDS.


White wells are Spring harbinger at
Niagara. .-.s.- -s.- .-osf.
A New Yorker offers 500 to be cured
Of shyness. -.. -., -.- ..---
Al. Gilmore's jubilee the pitch alone
will cost 81 900. .......-.. .f....-
He is the richest man who is content
with what he has.
Intersection" paper collars are not
at all improbable.
The worst misfortune is to be unable
to bear misfortune.
Barnum would make a big canvass
for the Presidency.
The Sioux City ferrymen arrest those
who paddle their own canoes.
Knoxville maidens send their gas-bills
to their beaux who stay late.
He who takes the best care of to-day
has the least fear of Tomorrow. [
A Missouri ruralist smoked out a rab-
bit by consuming half mile fence.
No manners are so fine as the awk-
ward manifestations of good will toward
men.
Vice stings US, even in our pleasures
but virtue consoles US, even in our
pains.
1t is said that cork screws have sunk
more than cork jackets have ever
saved.
Why is a dead doctor like dead
duck? Because they have both done
quaeking.s -s.t g.. I...'Hd '-..i
If a man tells you that water, ,leeched
through ashes,is fit for beverage, don't
believe him. Its lye. -.. .a
A Connecticut girl died in eonse-
quence of being told Monday as an
"April fool" that her lover was dead.
A Green Bay man was mean enough
to elope with the only school teacher in
the town,thus shutting up the school.
There are now hundred and thirty
persons serving out sentences of impris-
onment in Massachusetts, for liquor
selling. a.a Jas s.-. f
A grocer had a pound of sugar re-
turned, with note stating-''Too much
sand for table use, and not enough for
building purposes"
A Missouri musician set on kes of
powder to smoke. His wife couldn't
positively identify a shirt button that
was found in the vicinity.
Endeavor to keep your conscience al
soft and sensitive. If but one sin force
its way into that part of the soul and is
suffered to dwell there, the road is paved
for thousand iniquities. a5zt
(which of the Feejee islands are you
from? ~ asked visitor of one of Bar
NUNS canibals the other day. "Tip-
perary bejabers," was the reply of the
ravenous anthropophaginian.
"Will you have the kindness to hand
me the butter before you?" asked one
politely of an ancient maiden. II am
no waiter, SIR" SIS that so? thought
from your appearance you had been
Waiting long time." -........ -..
A little Danbury gin, when asked by
her mother about suspicious little bites
in the sides of about dozen choice ap-
pies, answered, "Perhaps, mamma they
have been frost bitten, it was so cold
last night" The mother retreated.
"Hunting the tiger, gentleman OBJ
served English officer, relating his
East India experience to friendly cir
Gle at London club, sis capital sport
better-except when the tiger
takes it into his head to hunt you; then
it is apt to become too exciting
Professor said a student in pur-
suit of knowledge concerning the hab-
its of animals, "why does a cat, while
eating, turn her head first one way and
then another?" "For the reason, re-
piled the professor, ''that she cannot
turn it both ways at once"
Josh Billings says: There liz one
thing about a hen that looks like Wis
dunn, they don't kackle much until af-
ter they have laid their egg. Sum pholks
are alwus a Dragging and eackling
what they are going tew do beforehand.
A man in Yamhin County, Oregon,
sues his father and mother-in-law for
live thousand dollars damages, because
their daughter and his wife has not
turned out so strong and healthy as
they promised.
The deepest and most desirable and
most permanent joy is not where the
laughter and song are foudest. These
are superficial and temporary. These
are ripples, eddies, on the surface OF
Joy, showing its shallowness, not its
Ilepth. We are always pensive and
when we are most happy.
A kind physician, living near Bos-
ton, wishing to smoothe the last hours
Df a poor woman whom he was attend |
ing, asked her if there was anything he
could do for her before she died. The |
poor soul, looking up replied: doctor,
have always thought l should like to |
have glass butter dish before l died."
Olive Logan commenced one of her
ectures at Newark, recently, with the
"Whenever see pretty girl
want to clasp her in my arms" $50 /
10 We" shouted the boys in the gallery.
For moment Olive was nonplussed, |
but recovering her self-possession, she |
replied, swell, boys, l don't blame you"