Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-03-09
Facts and H':eaaeEcs.


The page of equalty-equipage
A fast>walking stick hurricane
What to do With the uucducatcd
classes.-Bring 'em to book.
A proper dance for wedding
| the can-can.
The lock which woman gives a
man to hold him--a locs Of hair.
For man who is ruined by woman
there is no law and no judge.
Why is a colorcd man who has gas
'conaded like IA bruisc? Because he is
black, and blew.
1t is said that the reason the Siamesc
twius keep away from Chicago, is, they
don't want tt be separated.
Why is f,h~peddIing, morally CON
sidered, an Objectionable business BE,
cause one sells what he knows has been
| hooked
Some books are like small, cheap die.
tionaries f; YOU find everything there
except what you want.
"This is sweeping catastrophe, as
the man said when his wife Knocked
him down with broom"
Teacher-"If a man gave you hum
dred dollars to keep for him, aud died,
what would you do? Would you pray
for him :" Candid pupil--"No sir
but | would pray for another like him
Odd typographical errors are occur
ring constantly A paper recently made
the surprising statement that two thou
sand car loads of eats had come East
over Western railroads" The editor
meant to say "oats.
4 western editor thinks if the proper
way If spelling tho is ''though.' aud
bo beau, the proper way TO spell po.
tatoes must be ''poughteighteaux /" The
new way of spelling softly is ''psought.
leigh"
The last definition of the word
"demi monde" and which. as usual. has
been attributed to young Alexander
Dumas, Is, demj-n,oade (the halt. world
is the world to which "a husband goes
without taking his betterhalf with him
\ Yankee lawyer, who was pleadine
the cause ol ittle boy took bin up IN
his arms aud held him 10 the Jury. Suf
fused in tears This hal. great cH ct on-
I'll the opposition lawyer asked the boy
What makes you cry r. He's pinch
ing me, said the boy.
f.7erything has it's use" said Il
philosophical professor to his class
"Of What use is the drunkard'~ fcre
red nose F! asked one OF the pupils. ''It
is like a lighthouse answered tie
professor. 80 warn Us Of the little wa
ter that passes underneath it,"
A grocer in France not long ago
subscribed toward statue of Voltairc.
Idiot - said his wife, 'what did you
do that for 2" Policy, my DEAR" sal.
he, Policy I've read somewhere that
he's very fond of cofec, and perhaps
he'll trade with us :"
In class Of little girls in one of the
schools OF Boston the question was
asked, "What is a fort r "A place. to
put men in" was the ready answer
w bat IS fortress, then 7" asked the
teacher. This seemed a puzzle, until
one little girl of eight summers answered
"A place to put women in."
Doctor" Well, we'll !Aud what's the
matter with my young friend Christie
pher Z" Anxious Mother-"Wh Doc
tor, he is not we'll to-day. He was at
little party last night and ate some ham
and sandwiches, and cocoanut cakes,
and tarts, and currant cakes, and jelly
pie, and hot biscuit. and calves foot jelly
and ice cream, and-anG- and
Questions in geography for the Civil
Service Commissioners.
Why does the noise made by a rust
lily swung door resemble a tributary
to the Ganges
Because it's creek in the 'Inges
How would you change its similitude
to an Egyptian river?
BY putting in Nile.
An Ohio school girl went through
her calisthenic exercises OF home for
the amusement of the children. A
youthful visitor, with interest and pity
on his countenance, asked her brother
',it that gal had fits" "No," replied
the lad, contemptuously, "that's gym>
nastics." 30. tits hey I" said verdant
show long has she had 'em 2"
A left handed comp)inent-Young
Lady Ito Tim with thin legs s)-HTim, |
always admired your courage knew
when | first laid eyes on you that you
were brave to rasiness," Tim Coming
mn smiIinu4-"Oh don't my dear Whv