The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-06-14

| eAFetitioh lntO the interior OF my head
and l looked woefully haggard, es
| pecially rs l had not been shaved fo
five days. l presented IN appearance
that would have caused the heart of al
undertaken to bound with Joy. Bu
here came our next dilemma. How
reconcile these haggard features with :
figure somewhat inclined to portliness
"There is no help for it but to strap vol
in, old fellow" observed my friend o
the footlights; "you would never d
without" So ] was strapped in; anC
for seven long mortal hours endured
all the agonies of tight lacing. Ther
came another trouble. We came to the
conclusion that my coat looked too neat
and tidy, although old. We proceeded
at once to remedy this fault. We silt
one sleeve for about eight inches ovel
the elbow, and sewed piece Of old blue
cloth, as patch, over the shoulder
We then spread the coat out Oh the
floor and sprinkled it all over with
water, previous to beating the street
door-mat over it. We rubbed the dust
| well into the web of the cloth, dried
the coat before the fire, and after beat.
ing off the worst Of the dust, we had as
shabby a coat as any professional beggar
need desire. Tho pantaloons were also
improved by being put through pretty
much the same process, and we cut q
piece about two inches square from the
toe of one of the boots, putting a piece
Of dirty rag in the opening. then ar.
rayed myself, stuck some diachylon
plaster on my forehead, wound some
bandages of rags around my hand, put
on my hat, and taking an old stick TO
lean tremblingly on when opportunity
offered, | stepped into the street from
the kitchen entrance.
My first impression on gaining the
street was that every one was staring at
me, whereas, in all probability, | was
totally unnoticed. At one moment /
was half inclined to turn back and give
it up, when fortunately / caught sight
OF an acquaintance coming down the
street. Here, thought i, is an opportu-
nifty to test my disguise without any
chance of annoyance should the fraud
be discovered. As he passed me |
begged of him in a feigned voice. He
looked me full in the face, muttered
something about being sorry that he
had no pennies in his pocket, and went
on in blissful ignorance as to my iden-
tity. This rencontre at once inspired
me with confidence, and | started up
University place, on my way to Union
square. At the corner of Union square
and Fourteenth street, q nice, kind
hearted looking old lady in deep mourn
ing gave me two cents. This was my
first haul. My prospects were decidedly
Frightening, and the dread of going
through the tightlacing business, and
facing the fresh, nipping air 20 no pur-
pose, passed away. For, let me tell
you, my scanty clothing anything but
tended to keep up desirable circula-
tion of the blood. Moreover, my throat
was all bare in front. Ny costume, too,
was generally very uncomfortable. 1t
anything but fitted me; and / felt as
awkward as Sam Weller when he first
douned Mr.. Pickwick's livery.
l turned down Fourteenth street,
and wended my painful way TO Fifth
avenue with trembling steps. Near
Eighteenth street two young ladies
caught me up. turned, and at once
saw that had an opportunity. The one
nearest me had very pretty-looking
face. Her eye was tender and sympa-
thetic, and begged her TO listen TO me
a moment. / told her long story of
how had just been discharged from
Bellevue Hospital, after a sojourn of
six weeks; that was still very weak,
and unable to work, and that l had no
money to buy anything to eat. She
eyed me with a kindly gaze for q mo-
ment, took her purse out of her pocket
and handed me ten cents. But she did
more. She gave me very useful
warning. For as they passed on, she
remarked to her companion, in suffi
ciently loud tones for me to hear:
al think that must be a deserving
case didn't you notice how well the
poor man talked ~ All! too well,
thought / to myself. That may pass
muster with unsophisticated young la
dies of sympathetic tendencies, but it
won't do for the world in general. |
must correct that.
A gentleman standing under the por-
tico of the Fifth Avenue Hotel gave me
a five cent piece, much to the disgust of
a middle-aged gentleman who was
talking to him and who declared his
conviction that all beggars were frauds,
/ gave him look of panied, indignant
remonstrance, and resumed my mendi-
cant Ijourneying. Between Twenty.
third street and Twenty-fourth street /
met with very little success, and fan
cicd that / was eyed with suspicion
by the officer on beat. But at the cor
ner of Thirty fourth street begged of
two elderly ladies, who were apparent
ly waiting for the car. One of them
gave me three and the other two cents.
| passed down Thirty-fourth street to
broadway, and turned once more in the
direction of the Fifth Avenue Hotel,
but only picked two or three cents
on the way. But was approaching a
better cruising ground for beggars. Be-
tween Twenty.third street and Seven
teenth street, only six blocks, got
nineteen cents; very elegantly-dre
young lady contributed five, and a
sporting. looking gentleman, who was
lounging in the doorway of Jerry
Thomas saloon, three Of them. ]
crossed over TO Union square and sat
down on the edge of tho basin of the
fountain. From my pocket l drew
very stale crust of bread and cOmmenc-
ed 20 nibble it, at the same time taking
OIL my hat and placing it OF my knee.
ms was great card, for lady with
two little girls quietly and unostenta-
liousiy dropped q ten-cent stamp into
my hat without saying word. How
ever, saw park officer approaching
me- ana tearing that he might have seen
the lady,s action, and might, in conse-
quence, be hard hearted enough to in
terfere with me, determined TO take
time by the forelock, and not stand