The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1872-05-31

The grumbler is one of the most un-
fortunate of beings; he travels the worst
roads, drives the worst horses, drawing
the worst vehicles under the sun. He
eats the worst dinners, especially at
home, and wears the worst clothes of any
live man.
He spends most of his thoughts in
wondering why he is not Alexis, or the
Prince Of Wales, or the President Of the
United States, or the Grand Mogul OF
somewhere, instead of plain John
Smith, Jr.
To the discOntented man his wife,
heaven help her, is a constant source of
annoyance. She is too tall or too short,
too grave or too gay, too vOluble or too
reticent, in fact it is doubtful whether
companion imported directly from the
celestial regions would be complete
success in his eyes.
If she goes with him to an evening
entertainment or for an afternoon visit,
he spends the hOmeward ride in grum-
bling because she does not sing like Mrs.
A, or play like Mrs. B., or dance like
Mrs. c., or talk like Mrs. D., and ends
by complaining because she is mOodily
silent, and won't answer them at all.
He wonders why she looks so sad and
careworn, why she does not welcome
before marriage; why she has the habit
of starting nervOusly every time he
enters the room; and why she does not
care to ride, or walk, or talk with him.
| Poor man! he is continually planting
briers by the wayl What wonder if he
reaps a plentiful harvest of thorns?
! Does our grumbler travel, he meets
with more hair-breadth escapes, comes
/ in contact with more villainOus people
who make him the sole object OF their
I vile intentions, which, however, from
/ his superior discernment he succeeds in
eluding, than Ledyard or Won Humboldt
ever encountered.
! The best way to cure q discOntented
man is to help him complaint agree
with him that he is the most unfortunate
person living, and he will very soon
undertake to prove that he has quite as
much to be thankful for as the most of
people.
4 friend whom I was once visiting
had the misfortune to have husband
: who was always eXaggerating the ills OF
life One morning he sat down to
breakfast as usual, ate a hearty meal
r and Just before its close leaned back in
his chair, saying that he was unwell
and forthwith began to discant upon his
: many ailments. He declared that h6
: felt that he was not long for this world
! it was his fate, but he was resigned
2 Here he recOunted number of incidents
e to prove that an evil genius had followed
{ him from his cradle to the present mo-
ment. Said he:
E ~ must consult physician immedi
ately."
| "Yes," replied his wife, anxiously
: ''you must 90 to DIR. Cur'em this very
: day Start right away-dO, dear; dom
D defer; pray DON'T"
''There, that's just like n woman
| replied the husband, ''you always thinl
! that l can leave my business at any
moment"
r "But," rejoined the wife, "only thinl
t of the danger of delay; you are going Il
| put it off until it is too late. You viii
J die, | know you will! Oh, dear, oh
: dear! / know you Will" she cried
Historically.
"Well," said he, angrily, 81 can't mol
: shan't leave my business to-day; SO
there is no use in making n FUSS and
marching firmly to the hat-rack he in
vested himself in coat and hat and left
for his place of business.
; As he passed out of sight my hostess
burst into merry laugh; and seeing my
look of surprised inquiry, remarked,
''YOu know Henry is rather notional,
and find it best 10 hUmOr him."
l think she was right, for during my
!. stay / heard nothing more of Henry's
ailments. His wife's prescription no
doubt proved more ef1icIcious than any
which DIR. Cur'em could have admins
! tered Western Rural