The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-03-01
ANOTHER

| Springfield Republican the Wende
Phillips Of her sex.
Some one describes a wedding as
grand mixture of tears, toasts, trunk
and trousseau.
II A Wisconsin girl was married bare
foot, In bootless hope of obtainin
good luck thereby. - .-.-
4 A Western woman has discipline
her husband 50 well that he can nov
carry the baby, rock the cradle an
make good biscuit.
/ Two women have made application
to Commodore Vanderbilt for tn
of1ce of conductor on the New Yorl
Central Railroad.
| The fashion of dispensing with falls
hair has been set, but none of tn,
girls follow it. Poor things, how
can they when they have no other?
In the absense of other eompeten
authority, a Georgian performed tn,
marriage ceremony at his own wed
ding. Other people generally marry
their wives-he married himself.
At keystone, when a lady has {
| call from q gentleman for whom she
has no especial kindness, she receives
him in . cold room, gets excused
goes out, and then forgets to return
Before Paris became mistress oi
modes, Milan prescribed the model
for bOnnets, hence the name miliineI
for the fabrication of the crowning
glory of well-dressed womanhood.
A correspondent of q New York
paper declares that Husbands ofstrong-
minded women become nobodies.
This is not strictly true, for such hus-
bands are nObOdies at the start.
A young lady has been forwarded
from San Francisco to Maryland by
express, and the messenger who was
charged with her delivery was heard
TO regret that he couldn't express his
sentiments at the same time.
$50, Wilkins, you're married, eh {?
Well, how do you get alongp
mot so well as 1 hoped. My wife
gave me her hand previous 10 our
marriage, and it gratified me exceed
ingly. She now gives it to me every
day, and it doesn't gratify me at ALL"
"MOllie, shut the door; its awful
cold in here !" was the remark of an
Albany husband as he hung his coat
on hitching post and prepared to
retire on the curbstone, under the
impression that he had arrived at
home.
Fond mother-"John, do look at
that child it has your watch in its
mouth, and will swallow it," John
(who is q bachelor brother-in-law,
and very fond of babies)-"Oh! don't
be the least alarmed; I've got hold of
the chain. 1t can't go too far" Tab
leau.)
A lady writes to the Congregation
alist that at the time st. Paul wrote
about the women of Corinth they
were in that pitiable condition of i'm
becility in which any fragmentary
thought comes out of the mouth as
soon rs it enters the mind. st. Paul
is accordingly ruled out of court ON
the woman question.
Mrs. Browns pretty Irish waitress
got married the other day. "And L
hear that you are going to Australia
with your husband, Kitty? ?" said her
mistress. "Are you not afraid of such
q long, dangerous vOyageW "Well,
ma'am, that is his lookout. I belong
to him now, an if anything happens
to me sure it'll be his loss, not mime"
For thirty years "I'm sitting on
the style, Mary" passed untarnished
Is a veteran joke in the papers. when
coupled with ''as the husband said
when he sat ON his wife's new bOn-
net." but the milliners have killed 1t
by making the bOnnets to small to
ut on.
10 Jail in Patterson, New Jersey, by
MS two wives, who had lived happily
N the same house for three years.
One speaks only German, the other
,nly English. Philip had told the
second that the first was his mother,
and the first that the second was q
Yesterday a woman who
spoke both English and German
visited the house, and when Philip
reached home the hair flew.
There is q rose bush trained upon
he wall of the cathedral at Hides
leim, in Germany, which is said to
De q thousand years old. The famous
legend that this rose bush was plant
ID by Susan b. Anthony on her one
birthday is now generally
by the more intelligent peO-
pie around there.
A young woman whose fathers
Dalatial residence is situated in one
,f the principal streets of Missour's
,apital, recently, in the space of a
Jingle twenty-fOur hours managed,
without discovery, to get herself tied
II the matrimonial knot to eight diff
erent men, and told them all to come
It the same time the next day to OBJ
ain her fathers blessing on their
lnion. They all did so; and the
'eene that ensued can be better inn
.gined than described. The lady
meantime had left the State, disguis-
ii as Jew peddler.
The following are the leap year
ballroom regulations established by
he young ladies of st. Louis: Gen
.lemen are expected to be as lady-like
Is possible, therefore: No gentleman
will be allowed to enter the ballroom
except OH the arm of his escort, or
,ne of the managers; no gentleman
.an dance unless invited to do so by
! lady no gentleman can enter the
unless escorted by lady;
he lady managers will see that no
il neglected"
A Massachusetts, woman, lately
deceased, before her death, in order
% keep her memory green In the
mind OF her husband, wrote q num-
Der of letters which she pOst-dated
md confided them on her death-bed
% a friend, with directions to post
,ne to him on the last day Of every
month. In the spring-time of his
the husband was rather
glad to receive these pseudo cOmHu.
licatiOns from the spirit world, but
when time had cooled the heartburn
ngs of his grief and another woman
presided at bis table the pOstman's
arrival with q pOsthumous letter at
he end of each lunar revolution be-
came very malapropOs and quite de.
,troyed, with its dismal memories,
he pleasures of his new honeymoon.
His freshly-chosen bride, too, became
ealous of these mysterious missives,
and threatened to tear out the eyes OF
heir author, but on being told who
he author was cOntented herself with
the epistOlatory productions
,f her predecessor as often as they
came.
A Boston girl, who had more than
once during the continuance of o long
shocked her lover, .
pious burgher of the Quaker City, by
her declamatiOns in favor offree love,
oor,n nlafely disQusted him when the