The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1872-06-06
Ole Trituue.
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
How to prevent bad dreams-Don't go
to sleep.
A city that scots people-Pittsburgh.
Young ladies now wear small mirrors
in their lockets.
How to save your coai-Burn nothing
but wood.
Temper is so good thing but We
should never lose it.
Over-warm friendships, Ike hot Goals,
are quickly dropped.
There have been more fashionable
ladies dyed young this year than eyer.
'Where the woodbine twineth'' must
be in Canada. That's where all tie ras-
Gals go.
Why is pig with twisted tail like
the ghost Gin "Hamlet2' Because it
could tail unfold.
Let young woman take the degree of
A. B., that is A Bride, and she may
hope to be entitled to that of A. NJ.
Connecticut people have been expect
ing that hen, which was setting on
dozen apples, would hatch barrel of
cider.
The Boston Post says that DR.. Mary
Walker has become the happy possessor
of 'sweet spring pair of pants
A debtor gave as an excuse for non
payment, that money was very close.
but not close enough yet for him to reach
it."
A bashful printer refused situation
in printing Office where females were
employed, saying that he meyer "set up"
with girls in his life.
1t takes just 247 curls for the head OF
city belle. The barber begins at ten
o clock in the morning and gets through
at 9 o'clock at night.
Apparently very little was left of Mr..
Tippin, of Detroit, just after he tried to
light fire with kerosene, for the papers
say ''the doctor thought he could save
one arm and one eye.
Mrs. Darlington says she understands
the pickle the Emperor was got into, but
she would like to know what that neu-
trality was that Victoria was trying to
prevent.
Stubs wonders where all the pillow
cases go to. He says he never asked
girl what she was making, while engaged
in white sewing, without being told it
was pillow case.
The Wyoming journal publishes the
following in its advertising rates: Fees
for marriage notices as high as the costa
cy and liberality of the bridegroom may
prompt"
Mrs. Emery, of Indiana, warns all
women against her tickle, faithless hus-
band, who has deserted he. She says he
may be reconized by broken nose, which
she demolished with skillet.
A California obituary: 1.-THE deceased
was talented man of romantic nature.
He placed the butt of his gun in the fire
while he looked down the muzzle and de B..
parted hence spontaneously"
Now that the Omaha bridge over the
Missouri is complete, there is an I'M
broken line Of rail from Oakland, Cal,
to Boston, 1859 miles, and even a fur
Their distance down in Maine, counting in
all about 1000.
Johnny was telling his ma how be was
going to dress and show off when he was
man. His ma asked, johnny, what
do you expect to do for living when you
get to be a man ?' "Tll get married and
live with wife's pa
Read this and weep: "a young lady
who went to Syracuse, New York, to see
Nilsson, was unable to accomplish her de-
sire. She was heard to exclaim "Well,
[ cant see Nilsson, but kissed her trunk
Poor creature: how she must have suf-
feredl
An editor of an Eastern paper says
that many of his patrons would make
good wheel horses, they hold back SO
well.
The only way to make the mas. of man
kind see the beauty of justice is by show
ing them, in pretty plain terms, the con-
sequence of injustice.
Madam, great many persons were
disturbed at the concert last night by the
crying of your baby ''Well I do won
der such people will 60 to concerts.
Bulwer says poperty is only an idea, IL
MAE cases out of ten, and that there is
really more happiness among the work
ingmen in the world than among those
who are called rich.
An Indiana editor makes pathetic ap-
peal to his readers, saying: ''If there is
anything you know that is worth know
ing, that we ought to know, and you know
that wo don't know, please let US know
it."
An old rail splitter in Indian put
quietus upon young man who chafed
him upon his bald head, in these words !:
Young man, when my head gets as soft
as yours, l can raise hair to sell. :"
VII: II. e.r-o ,;no ELa q poaoaot Q