The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1872-08-22
HUMOROUS.

Is A lamp Mt any time i'll a bad tenn
per? Yes, when it is put out?
Men frequently find themselves in
anoose after leaving the (h)alter.
Ir A sailor has been travelling on
horseback, can it be said that he
rowed?
To BECOME lion of q party it is
not necessary to make a beast of
ones self.
WHAT is that which makes every
person sick but those who swallow
1t? Flattery.
Ir YOU get on horseback before the
sun is up. it is sign that you will
have q hand in n bridal.
The MOST eflectual way to prevent
hydrophobia is to vacinate all the
dogs with q double-barrel shotgun.
WHEN man has tried everything,
and found it will not answer, let him
20 where there is an echo and try
that.
WHEN YOU 90 to drown yourself,
says Aunt Hubby, always pull oft
your clothes; they may fit your wife's
second husband.
A CANDID old bachelor says: "Af-
ter all, woman's hearts, the sweetest
thing in the world; it's per feet
honeycomb-fW Of sells.
WHEN A coupe of young people
strongly devoted to each other com
mence to cat onions, it is safe to pro-
nounce them engaged.
AN ILLINOIS paper declares that
Rorublicanism in that section is
"looking up" How can it help
looking up when it is flat on it's back.
"Do YOU keep matchos?" asked n
wag of n country grocer. ooh, yes,
all kinds" was the reply. "Well,
I'll take trotting match" said the
wag.
A YOUNG lawyer, who had just been
admitted to the bar, sadly and dis
contentedly observes that the law
is better in theory than in practice.
THE TIME to possess your soul in
patience is when your hat blows off
in tho street and your eyes are too full
of dirt to see which way it goes,
Two FRIENDS meeting, one remark
ed, "I have Just met man who told
me looked exactly like you" "Tell
me who it was that | may knock him
down." replied his friend. "Don't
trouble yourself" said he, 81 did
that myself"
SrTNKs IS not going to do any more
in conundrums. He asked his wife
why he was like donkey, and she
said because he was born so, and he
says the answer is very different
from that.
"WHAr does the minister say to
our new cemetery" asked Mr.. Hines
"He don't like it at all; he says he
won't be buried there as long as he
lives" "Well," said Hines. "if the
Lord spares my life, will"
NEW MIsrREss-"That will do,
then; my inquiries about you being
satisfactory, l am willing to engage
you. New Cook" Very well,
ma'am, but / can't give you an an
swer till to morrow. for my inquiries
about you haven't been answered
yet.
WHEN death invades mans
household, and takes away his wife,
he should try to control himself 1t
doesn't look well to see him Juggling
the family physician all around
town, and stuffing him with the best
the land affords, you know.
"PorAroEsl" cried darky peddler
in Richmond. "Hush dat racket,
you distracts de whole neighbor-
hood" came from an aged uncle in a
doorway. "You can hear me, kin
your "Hear you! l kin hear you n
mile" "Thank God for dat; Is
holowin' to be heard. 'Tatoesl"
A DoCToR was ummoned to cot
tage at Harwood, in England, and
found q boy in need Of his services.
"Show me your tongue" said the
doctor. The boy stared like IN owl.
NIy good boy let me see your
tongue, repeated the doctor. "Talk
English, Doctor" said the mother,
and then turned to her son, said
"Hopen thy gobler, and push out
thy loliker." ,r The mouth few t9apesp
and the = Al ssoIppr 10 'LolsolI
IIuMslS duIpH Ol AIddV $3.50
JuIuOo So dU3uo sg lsOIulg I0ls3II
~ ~ paIaAIIpn au IIIM 'aiuil-aIII unin
Nashville and Chattanooga Railroad
week. We missed a treat by not be