New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-08-18

! q, i LakG 10" Tf-
marked Patrick O'Featherhead, who was
already beginning to reflect that the dial he
had risked his life to wear was perhaps,
1.-THE divil's own instrimint."
"ParlIamentIl do US both good to see, :"
was the strangers answer; and so the pair
stepped on together till they reached Palace
Yard inside which Patrick tested his
smaller hand on a cabman, who, obviously
for she first time in his life, leaped
off mis- box, and, running after a
provincial family, who had delivered
him four shillings and sixpence
as the fare from Chaung Cross, returned
three of the ill-wOn shillings with vows of
cOntritiOn. Patrick and his friend followed
the provincial family into Westminster
Hall, crossed barristersy peers and members
Of Parliament, and reached the PUBLIC
lobby of the House, whittier a gentleman,
looking unpleasantly henpecBed, was lead
ing group of other gentlemen of similar
| appearance, to interview some LEGISLATORS
respecting the rights or wrongs of women.
| Patrick resisted the temptation of bringing
his ttuth-hand to bear upon these gentle
men, and forcing them to an outspoken
statement of their minds. He left himself
IN the hands of his companion, who ap-
peared to be acquainted with some mem
bers, and who soon procured a couple Of
tickets, which admitted himself and Patrick
to the strangers gallery,
commenced:
Patrick, who had but once before beheld
the spectacle, nothing could be more i'm
! posing than the spectacle Of Mr.. Nine
| teenth Century Speaker in a seventeenth
| century wig. He moreover felt becoming
| amount OF awe at sight of the cabinet min
listers, sitting in row like brothers. and
undergoing with equanimity the ordeal Of
| the "badgering half hour" 1t seemed,
| however, that there was something wrong
Tor a gentleman on the opposition benches,
! who apparently felt less awe for the row of
! OF brothers than Patrick did, was question
| ing one OF them in scathing terms as to an
| abuse which had been detected in his de-
! partment, just as it were worth while to be
| lnqulsltlVe about abuses Now, Patrick
| would not have had the profanity to work
MS DIAL on anything SO right honorable as
the minister below him; but his friend was
of different opinion and suggested the
application of the small hand, to draw from
the minister declaration the dametrical
opposite of what he was then brewing. So
the small hand was turned, and 10! up rose
the minister, to the speechless stupefactiOn
OF his colleagues, to confess that the abuse
IN question was indeed a disgraceful one
and to VOW that he would set himself, with
out loss OF time, to .eXterminate it.
panic ensued on the ministerial benches
as II the right honorable gentlemen had
gone mad but what was this first panic to
which followed, when a new question about |
new abuse having been put to a second |
minister this gentleman stood up and under |
the influence of Patrick's truth-hand emitted !
the following few remarks:
Yes, the honorable gentleman has lust !
touched upon an abuse which NAV saw | |
have most tenderly cherished; andSwhich, |
Whatever may be my official promises on the !
subject, let him be persuaded I shall no |
more think OF Graduating than l should of |
cutting OIL my ears l could not eradicate |
it if l would; for innumerable clerks and |
interests compass me on every side; and | !
am only my own master when l wish to
commit mischief, not when | am anxiOus TO
repair it. The honorable gentleman reminds
me that when out of office / once made a !
speech against this abuse. This is true, and
| am convinced that shall assail it again
with some energy when next out of place;
but one should carefully distinguish be-
tween the utterances of a politician who
sits where do and one whose seat is OppO-
site. They are so dissimilar, that even |
when merged in one body they should be
held for all practical purposes to form two
beings apart"
But here the tumult waxed so formidable
that the right honorable gentleman's speech
was cut off short. The whole ministerial
force stood on its legs in dismay, while the
OPT ositlOn, exulting with triumphant irony,
shook the very glass of the ceiling with its
L
It struck Patrick's impartial mind that
there was rather too much of this laughter
on the opposition benches; so, singing out
a gentleman who was taking verv pr0mi-
nent part IN the meTriment, he brought him
to the table as II propelled with a wire,
and caused him thus to unburden himself:
"Ihe words just spoken, sir, went to my
heart like balm; for l recognized in them
them the accents of pure truth such as [
might have spoken myself; had stood in
the right honorable gentleman's place: and
here, IapPeal to any gentleman behind me
as to whether he, too"-
But once again the noise at this point at
tanned such a frantic height that further
hearing was impossible PatriCk's dial
hands were now being turned to all quar- |
tors OF the house IN succession; and gentle
men were rising up on every side, with dis
levelled hair, and cIam0ring all together; !
their distracted haTangues crossing each
other like arrows in a battle. Here and
there one could catch a stray sentence,
lying as a splinter amid the fray: {
Il voted for the bill, | know; but I'd have !
given thousand pounds to have it thrown {
)ut.'
What can I do? if I spoke and voted t
according to my conscience, l should lose :
ny seat"
MY constituents follow me like a swarm {
If flies there are two Of the idiots waiting t
or me in the lobby. ]
What do you think I care so long as l I
Keep my place p 7
DO you imagine it will matter a straw to {
he, once | am in Office ?"
And so on the confusion swelling like I
ea, tempestuOus, until Mr.. Speaker, with {
us face and wig aghast, rose to order in the ]
Queens name; upon which Patrick, out of '
aspect for his sovereign, restored his dial ]
o his pocket and the waters were allaved, S
But have had enough of this" said he, Is
With a frightened flush on his features. S
Then he and his friend emerged into the +
pen air, where a vast crowd had been col
ected at the report that the Commons C
House Of Parliament had been visited with il
unacy. If this doial is to taych NE nothing 0
nut what we've learned this day, I'm afther 4
DING bSck to NEE lodgings to hang NEE p
elf; for the worlds nOt1npIth living in, bv T.
he holy cross Of St. PatAHck ~ t
Don't you see how you can make your c
of mans weakness serve YOU ?" e
etorted the stranger quickly, Let us 90 S
lie round of the newspaper OtfiCes-see how /
ubllc opinion is manufactured: into So %
lety-iearn its shams, mseries, and ter 90
IDLE hidden dramas; into prisOns-search t
OW IneXtricabIy interviewer are innocence %
nd guilt; MISUNDERSTANDING what has is
1rned those brains" ii
No. arI the saints! !" cried Patrick a
'Featherhead in alarm, "yeu be afther
lakin the life of me one larng nightmare | r,
nth no waking Let me believe there's -
God in the warld, or else 90 straight out
( it like Disguised jintleman." T
They had somehow got into a cab
Where to ?" asked the stranger. Back T
} Battersea ?"
"Yes Pm thinkinp an " was patricI-'e