The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-04-05

What did Lot do when his wife
turned to salt? Got a fresh one.
When are the gals buoyant? When
the boys are gallant.
Everybody remember the first cigar
and sweetheart.
The first day of Adams life must
have been long one, as it had 10
Eve.
Woman are seldom sailors, but they
sometimes command smacks.
Platonic love, like all other tonics,
is very exciting, and should be
taken hom9pathicalJy.
Men and women differ. You may,
perhaps convince a man, but you must
persuade woman.
If your wife does abuse you, you
have the pleasant consciousness that
she will not permit any one else to do
SO.
A lady widowed by the Chicago con
flagration has been recently remarked.
Her second husband calls his relic OF
of the great fire.
Stranger Ito Mcrmon): care you
saints sealing many wives now-a-
days. Mormon: "No; we are con-
cealing those We already have"
Because man and wife be-dear and
be-angel each other in public, don't
be sure that they are the blessed turtle
doves in private.
A synical lady, rather inclined to
flirt, says most men are like a cold
easily caught, but very hard to get rid
of.
Two curious suicides have taken
place i'm Paris, both occasioned by the
remorse of the victims at having
scolded their wives.
A youth of 81 recently led to the
altar a charming bride of log. 1t is
reported that they We're married with
out consent of their parents.
A book entitled Lectures on Mar
ried Men," has appeared in England
Heaven save the mark! Havn't they
their share already?
There is an Arabic poem which
compare, woman to a mirage, but says
that while mirage's deceit is brief,
a woman's love deceives eternally.
Laura a. Barry of Davenport, Iowa,
Is the first woman, who, as a notary
public, "swore" man i'm Iowa, but
not by any means the first +" lively
woman" who made a man swear in
that State.
Ayoung wife, on being lately asked
what she would do in case her bus
band should fail, replied: "Live on
arms, TO be sure; | have two and he
has two-with hands at the ends OF
them We venture to say that the
couple will never fail.
An Illinois editor thus sarcastically
speaks of the marriage of a profess
sionai brother in Indiana: He
stepped upon the hymenial platform,
adjusted the fatal moose, and was
swung off into that unsilent bourne
whence he can never return save by
the Indianapolis connecting lines.'
Ayoung theological student, not far
from Boston, recently invited young
lady to attend concert. The damsel's
answer to the invitation was i'm this
wise: "If you come as fer,porar,,
supply j must decline the invitation.
L am only hearing regular cdndi-
ddtes.'" He didn't supply.
A handsome and aristocratic young
lady in reduced circumstances has been
appointed keeper of a toll bridge over
the Neuse river in North Carolina,
whereat an editor down there says
"There will undoubtedly be more
young men than ever tolled over that
bridge; and many Iove-story will
he told over it, too"
An indignant wife in Iowa gives
notice that her husband has neglected
10 provide for his family, left her to
cut wood for the fire while he ioafed
around town, and finally slandered her
and fled the place. All persons are
warned not to harbor or trust him on
her account, as she will not longer
work for his support or pay bis bills.