The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-09
CoNFEDREF Y ROADS,

happened 10 tOliOch5 BiSieF et Al.
CONFEDRET Y ROADS,
(Wich IS in the Nv State kentucky
April Il, 1872.
I hev at last succeeded in so arrnng-
! ing my sublunary matters eZ to be
tollably shoor NV reglar subsistence,
/ till the triumph Nv the bolten Repub-
Iicans and the DemocTisy give me
| back the PostOfiice NV wich the butch
er Grant deprived me. Bascom and
I hev come to an understandin. He
agrees to say nOthin more about wat
owe him till after git my place
back agin, (when I agree to pay it in
! full > and in the meantime I agree to
stand reglarly at the bar, from Z in
the mOrniE to y at mite, and accept
| invitashens to drink, he PAWN me
two cents on each invitashen for wieh
cash is paid, and one cent where the
party tells him to i.jest mark it down.
The amount shell make will depend,
NV course, on the power Nv endoor-
anee Nv my bowels. Yesterday I
made enuff to pay for wat likker I
needed in the slack times NV the day,
and also to buy one square meal, wich
satisfies me.
We determined two weeks AGO to
| cast our lot with the liberal reform
movement in0ggerated in the Repub-
Iican party by those great and good men
| Horris Greeley, Carl SchurZ, Trum-
bull. The DimOcrisy NV the Corners
| feel ,keenly the need Nv thorough,
sweepin, radical reform in the admin
istrashen Nv the government. We
feel that cOrTupshen, violence, broO-
tality and tyranny hev held sway too
long, and we hail gladly any pros
peck NV releef. Here, in the heart NV
! Kentucky, a Niger is Postmaster
while l am pickin up ass precarious
substance ez best 1 may, dependin
on chance invashens to drink for
a livelihood. Pollock, an Illinoy in
terloper, sells goods and collects the
revenOo in perfect sekOOrity, with the
disturber BigleT, eZ his depitty, while
a Niger assesses onto US unconstitu-
tiOnel taxes. Two hundred Niger
families up toards GarrettstOWn are
liVin on land wich Wuz WTestid from
the aristOcracy Nv this sckshen, mock
in us by wearin clothes sich -eZ wat
we can't afford, and endangerin our
institootions with schools and meetin
houses in wich heresies NV the most
alarmin nacher is taught and preach
ed. TroO, that land wuz bought and
paid for, but for its sale the tyrannic-
al Government is nevertheless respon-
sible. He'd it not bin for the uncon-
stOoshel war waged onto US, there new
er wood hev bin no necessity for sell
IN it, and there wood hev bin no free
niggers to buy it.
1 received from Tweed Nv Moo
York, a account NV the great Liberal
Republican meetin held in Cooper In
stOOt in that city on the 18th inst,
wich Greeley got up for Schurz and
Trumbull, with the NapOleonic injunc.
ton at the bottom, "dO likewise.u I
to Wunst called together the faithful
and instructed them in the new de,
sparcher, and ez to the methods NV
gittin at it.
EZ q matter Nv course the first ster
wuz to hev a meetin NV the Liberal
Reform Republicans, that noble army
who is opposed to the eorrupshens
now pervadin all the departments Nv
the Government, eZ well eZ to the
centraliZashen NV power aimed at by
those now in power, and we determ-
ined at that meetin to not only enun.
ciate our principles but to nominate q
county ticket. The call wuz circula
ted by Deekin POgr am and Kernel
McPelter, and was signed by all Nv
the citizens NV the corners who kin
write, except Pollock, the IlIinoy
stOre-keeper, Joe BigleT, Lubbock the
niger Postmaster, and Watkins the
| Assessor
The meetin wuZ one NV the most
enthusiastic I ever presided over.
The meetin house wuz decorated
with sich banners eZ we hev. 1t wuz,
NV course, a Republican meetin, but
the fact that they were COnfedrit flags
and the Saymore and Blair banners,
NV the last campane, didn't seem
| singler or strange. In addishun 10
these, we he'd hung about the walls in
| conspicuous places, portrates witch
he'd bin painted for Lee, Boregard and
Breckenridge, but we simply changed
the names under EN- to Greeley,
Schurz and Trumbull land they ansered
the purpose jist ez well.
1 presided NV course, and the rest
NV the citizens present wuz made
Vice Presidents and Secretaries
The preliminaries hevin ben gone
thrO with, l reported the following de-
clarashun Nv principles:
ResoLUed, That any attempt to con-
vert this Republic into an absloot
monarchy, with hereditary Emperor
and titled nobility, shood be severely
frowned down by the Republicans NV
Kentucky, and is hereby frowned
down.
ResOyUed, That public offices are, OIL
should be created for public convent
ence and not eZ rewards for partisan
service, and that, therefore, the ack-
shen NV the administration in remOv-
in the Assessor, Collector and Pest
master NV COnfedrit y Roads, who
wanted the places and who he'd them,
and appintin their stead men who
hed'nt the places, but who did vote
for the present President, wuz an act
wich can't be too severely frOWned
upon.
ReSOJUed, That the triumph NV Re
publikin principles is of paramount
Importance to the country, and that
therefore we pledge TO Messers.
Greeley, Schurz and Trumbull our
cOrjel cO-Operashun in their laudable
effort to bust Grant and the Republi-
kin party. Stipulatin, NV course,
that in the new deal there shel be a
fair divide Of the plunder among all
| concerned.
ResolUed, That the prosperity NV
the country demands thorough, radical
and imejit change in all departments
NV the public service-specifyin per-
tikelerly the pOsishen NV Assessor,
Collector and Postmaster at the Corn
ers, wich places wuz taken from the
honOred chairman NV this meetin,
Kernel McPelter and Issaller Gavitt
and given to two niggers and an
Ablishen interloper.
ResOEUed, That ON the minor ques-
tiOns NV tariff, banks, payment Nv the
debt, and sich, it aint best to express
any pertikeler opinion, allowin each
man to hold his own, if he kin. We
welcome eheerfully to the new move
ment HOrris Greeley and Proteckshun,
Wells and Free Trade, Schurz and
Amnesty, Trumbull and Perlitik1e
Disability, and everybody else who
desires Reform by beatin Grant, with
watever assorted cargo Nv principles
they may happen to be loaded with.
At this pint Pollock, Bigler, Lub-
book, Watkins and dozen or more
NV the Republicans NV the Corners
made their appearance and demand
ed the rite Nv participatin in the pro-
ceedins. We mildly but firmly
denied this rekest.
'Isn't this a Republican meetin ?'
asked Pollock.
at is" 1 responded.
"Well, them" sed Pollock, "why
shan't participate? wus a delegate
to the Pittsburg cOnvenshen wich or
ganized the party, I voted for Fremont,
for Linkin twice, and for Grant, and
I explained to the misguided man
that while it WuZ a RepubIikiu meet