The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1872-01-04
CLIPPINGS.

is used to write hog latin.
Virginia boasts of calf five months
old which yields quart Of milk day.
A lady says that church socials are a
cross between Sunday School and a
funeral.
A revengeful Tennesseean dosed a
ncighbo with shot, recently, for calling
him liar ten years ago.
The New York bellies farewell:
Perhaps some Gay you'll waken
Md sea-sck pangs to know
The hearts that you have broken
Elder KNAPP says that ga politician
can no more got into Heaven than shad
I'm get up a creased pole, tail upwards"
Grand jury duty in Arizona is rather
nonotonous. Out of Ill indictments
recently found, all but three were for
murder.
Men who expect places in the Custom
House complain that General Author
does not turn out as well as they ex-
pected.
According to the New York Mail,
Madame Grundy's latest edict is that
young engaged persons should not walk
arm in arm in public.
The young ladies of Waterville, Mo-,
having recently organized an anti-tObac-
CO society, the young men of the town
have organized an anti-corset society.
The latest London announcement is a
nose machine, by which homely noses
are pressed into the most fashionable
shape, according to the taste of the own
er.
A compositor in the office of the Car
thagc Republican has compiled 66S lcgit-
innate English words from the letters
forming the words-Princc Alexis.
A western paper, recording a suicide,
says: ale blew his head off. Bilious,
poor and dishearted-the gun-muzzlc in
his mouth, his toes on the Fri gger, and
up goes his hair"
A Kentucky belle says when she dies
she desires to have tobacco planted over
her grave, that the weed nOurished by
her dust may be chawed by her bereav-
ed lovers. There is poetry in the idea.
Gov. b. Gratz Brown hits the ma on
the head when he advises that juries az
quitting criminals on the ground of in
sanity. shall so state, and the court shall
ut once provide for the incarceration of
the criminal in properly regulated as
sylum.
A gentleman who was recently mar
ried engaged a special car for himself
and bride, beautifully fitted up inside,
and divided into bedroom, drawing
room and kitchen, which was to be at
taehed to every train as they journeyed
on their way, en- route for San Francisco.
"Give me pound of oysters" said a
man to an oyster vender who was going
by. al sell by measure, not by weight"
said the oysterman. "Then give me a
yard of them," said the man. The Oys-
ter vender shook his head obviously and
passed on.
"Tis distance lends enchantment to
tho view. An old Dutchman, who some
years ago was elected q member of the
Canadian Legislature, said, in broken
English style: "Ven vent to dc lech.
islaturc l fought would find dem all
Solomons dere, but l soon found dere
vas some pick fools dere as vas"
DR.. Horace Greeley has sent south for
fifteen or twenty bushels of fine cut to-
baccO seed. He recently bought plan
tation in the south, and intends to make
. philosophical experiment. Next year
he intends planting some cigarette seed.
He is confident that with careful culture
the United States can procure from its
own soil all the cigarettes that are re-
qnired for the market.
This is the description of a terrible
infant, which is said to be in Fentress
county, Tennessee: The prodigy is only
three years old, and weighs IS pounds,
firm flesh has as much beard as a twen-
ty year older; his feet are eight inches
long, though small for one of his build
of course he is fond of the society of
girls, but the boys he detests. His voice
is coarse and his fits of passion are ter
rifle. He expects to marry next year
and 60 to Congress the year after, with
the Presidency in the near perspective.
At ono of our city Sunday schools, on
q Sabbath, a class teacher, with view
to impress the coming thanksgiving time,
put tho question, What important day
will occur during the week ?" What
was her establishment to see a bevy of
dininutive specimens arise quickly up,
and with one accord exclaim, "The
great prize fight between Mace and Co
burn will come off Thursday"
The more married men the fewer crimes
there will be. Marriage readers man
more virtuOus and more wise. An un-
married man is but half of perfect be-
ing, and it requires the other half to
make things rigll, and it cannot be cx-
pec.ed that IN this imperfect state he can
keep the straight path of rcctitudc, any
more than boat with one oar can keen
straight Vo(fdire.
Nor SATISFACTORY ExPERIMEyT.-IIercE
is q bit of gotesquc honor from New
Orleans:
Mr.. Gray discovered non-explosivc
Illuminating fluid. To show how safe