The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-12-06
sCTssoR1NGs.

Forgers to be encouraged--Black-
smiths.
How to cut swell-Turn your
back on him.
Fee simple-Money given to a
quack doctor,
A civil marriage law is to be intro
duced into Germany.
Music is the food Of love-beef
and mutton that of matrimony.
EDO right and fear not" is what
the GIRLS say to their correspondent.
A secret has been defined as ''aay-
thing made known to every body in
whisper
"The Pacific Slope The Quaker
peace commissioners running from
the Indians.
Arkansas City, Karsas, has just
presented.a city lot to the first baby
born there.
Mrs. Julia Schenck Mevers of ST.
Louis has buried four husbands in
eight years.
Early rising was once an Indication
of thrift. ,bnt now it indicates that a
man is thirsty.
A French parer says that Hvacin-
theLoyson marries S75, 900 as we'll as
the widow Merriman. ~
John B. Cough lately opened his
"Hillside Homestead" for the mar
riage of his brother.
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
If that is so. cake of good soap
is then poor sermon.
'sThis is the rock of ages" said
the father, after rocking two hours,
and the baby still awake.
1t is now pretty generally agreed
among historians that the first bores
on record were the Roman augurs.
TWENTY-FIVE children of one father
and mother gather around the
family board in an hour in Henderson,
Minn.
Next to the .'litrle busy bee" ithe
botthlack furnishes the brightest >ex-
ample of improving the shining
hour"
Miss Kellogg's first business of i'm
portance, since her return, will be to
be bridesmaid to Miss Dobbins of
Buffalo.
When is beau's arm like the gos-
pel?-When it maketh glad the
waist places.
A prudent matchmaking mamma
gave the following candid advice to
her daughter: "Oh, marry the man
you love, if he is as rich as Cresus. "
"The whole thing has gone to the
divil. y said gentleman of some un-
fortunate speculation. 'Never mind
said Jerrold. you'll get it back
VIXEN you die.
An editor says his ancestors have
been in the habit of living 100 years.
His opponent responds by saying
that 'fthat was before the introduc-
ton of capital punishment"
An editor SAYS his brilliant ideas
are like his shirt battons-they are al
ways of when he is in a hurry. +"
That is because he treats them as he
does his buttons-he don't 'thus-
band'' them.
The Cedar-Rapids folks complain
that there is no sidewalk leading to
the cemetery, and their editor out
there consolingly assures them that,
if they will only have patience, they
can all ride some day.
Bonnets and round hats are SO
much alike nowadays, that crite-
rion by which they may be distin-
guished is greatly needed. If the
strings are tied under the chignon
hat; if under the chin-bonnet.
''You are the new boy, amt you?
Look here, do you collect stamps?
Second school-boy: "Y-e-s. First
school-boy Then there's one for
YOU coming down heavily on the
victim S toes and then running off.
A western coroner's jury, after
listening to discriminating analysis
of the evidence pointing to homicide
or to felo de Sc, promptly rendered a
unanimous verdict that the defunct
was beyond a doubt a fellow de-
ceased.
The grossest insult ever offered to
the Hub is contained in an an
nouncement that NJ. Julien lie Count,
formerly French Consul at Boston,
has been "promated'' to a similar
position to one of the minor ports ot
Great Britain.
It is reported that a farmer neal
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