The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-11-01
THE QUAKER DETECTIVE.

We were five passengers in all
two ladies on the back seat, and n
middle-aged gentleman and Quaker
on the middle, and myself on the front
The two ladies might have been
mother and daughter, aunt and niece,
governess and charge, or might have
sustained any other relationship which
made it proper for two ladies to trav-
ell together unattended.
The middle.aged gentleman was
sprightly aud talkative. He soon
struck up an acquaintance with the
ladies, toward whom, in his zeal to do,
he rather overdone the agreeable
bowing, and smiling, and cha,tering
over his shoulder in way painfully
suggestive, at this time of lie, of q
"crickn in the trick. He was evident
ly gay Lothario.
The Quaker wore the uniform of
his sect, and confined his speech, as
many a parliamentarian would save
his credit by doing, to simply "yeas"
and mays" AS for myself, l make
it an invariable rule of the road to be
merely lookeron and listen.
Toward evening | was aroused
from one of those reveries into which
young man, without being a poet or
lover, will sometimes fall, by an
abrupt query from the talkative gen
/ tleman:
Are you armed, sir9:"
II am not" | answered, astonished,
no doubt visibly, at the question.
Il am sorry TO hear it," he replied;
"for, before reaching our next stop
ping place, 1t will be several hours in
the night, and we must pass over a
portion of The road on which more
than one robbery is reported TO have
been com nitted."
The ladies turned pale. but the
stranger did his best 10 reassure them.
Not that | think there Is the slight
est danger at present." he resumed;
''only when one is responsible for the
safety of the ladies, you know, such a
thing as pistol in reach would mate
rally add TO ones confidence"
~ our principles, m7 friend" ad.
dressing the quaker, Il presume, are
as much opposed to carrying as to
using carnal weapons"
'I ea,' was the response.
"Have the Williams murdered any of
their victims the elder lady nervous
ly inquired.
'Or have they contended themselves
with-witii-plundering them" added
the younger in 4 timorous voice.
Decidedly the latter" the amiable
gentleman fastened to give assurance;
land as we are none of Us prepared to
offer resistance in case of attack, so
nothing worse than robbery can pos
sibly befall us"
Then. after blaming his thoughtless
ness in having unnecessarily introduc-
ed diSagreeable subject, tie gentle
man quite excelled himself in efforts
to raise the spirits of the company,
and had succeeded so well by the time
night had set in, that all had quite for
gotten or only remembered their fears
TO laugh at them.
Our genial companion fairly talked
himself hoarse; perceiving which he
took from his pocket box of newly
invented cough candy" and. after
passing it to the ladies. he helped him
self TO the balance and tossed the pa
per out of the window.
He was in the midst of high enco-
MUM on the new nostrnm, more
than half the efficacy of which, he in
sisted, depended on its being taken
by suction, when shrill whistle was
heard, and almost Immediately the
coach stopped, while two faces, hide
ously blackened, presented themselves,
one at each window.
"Sorry TO trouble you." said the
man on the right, acknowledging with
bow two lady like screams from the
back seat; "but business is business,
and ours will soon be over if things
go smoothly"
"Of course gentlemen, you will
spare, as far as may be CONS sstent
with your disagreeable duty, the feel
ings of these ladies'" appealed the
polite passenger, in his blandest man
ner.
"Ob! centainly; they shall be first
attended to, and shall not be required
TO leave their places, unless their con-
duct renders it necessary"
"And now, ladies'" continued the
robber, the barrel of his pistol glitter
ing in the light of the coach lamp, "be
so good as to pass your purses, watch
es, and such other trinkets as may be
accessible without too much trouble" J"
The ladies came down handsomely,
and were not further molested.
One by one the rest got out. The
middle-aged gentleman's turn came
first. He submitted with a winning
grace, and was robbed like very
Chesterfield.
My own affairs like the sum L lost,
are scarcely worth mentioning.
This Quaker's turn came next. He
quietly handed over his pocket book
and watch, and, when asked if he had
any other valuables. said "nay."
A Quakers word is good, even
among thieves; so, after basty "good
night" the robber thrust his pistol in
to his pocket, and with his Two COM
paniens, one Of whom had held the
reins of the leaders, was about depart
ing.
"Stop!" exclaimed the Quaker, in a
tone more ofcommand than ofreqnest.
"Stopl What f,r?" returned the
other in evident surprise.
"For at least two good reasons
was the reply, emphasized with a
couple of Derringers, cooked and pre-
sented.
"Help!" shouted the robber.
"Stopl" the Quaker exclaim ned; "and