The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1872-05-25
VARIETIES.

iarmerI 20, yes, he be very good farm
err he make two crops in one year."-I
How is that Sambo7' "why, he sell all
Of his hay in the fall, and makes money
once; den in de spring he sell all de hides
Of de cattle dat die for de lack OF de hay,
and makes money twice"
A CERTAIN young lady expresses her in
tention OF bringing a shit against her mo-
Their, considering that the only chance she
has left OF getting motherin-law.
SAID a tipsy husband to his wife: "You
need-needn't bl ! anne me. Twas woman
that first tem-tempied man to eat forbidden
things. That won't do" retorted the in
dignant wife. "Woman may have first
tempted man TO eat forbidden things, but
he took to drinking OF his own accord"
A Girl at Council Bluffs persistinr in
permitting the attentions of a man against
the wishes Of her mother, was tarrsd and
ieathered by that lady for her unfilal CON
duct.
ELLA, my child said e prudsh old
maid 10 pretty niece, who would curl her
HAIR in pretty ringlets, III the Lord had
intended your hair to be curled he would
have done 1t himself" 40 he did. aunty
when | was baby hut he thinks am
big enough now to do it myself"
81 AN afraid" said lady to her hus.
oahd that am going to have n stiff
neck. Not at all improbable, NV dear"
replied her spouse. IL have seen strong
symptoms OF it ever since we were mar.
ried.'
YOUNG man has expressed his opinion
that he prefers slim ladies, because he can
be nearer their hearts
WHAT strange contradictions some things
appear-tor instance, one who is supposed
to know, says: a kiss is at once the
cheapest and dearest thing on earth"
German recently produced avoiding
cake that weighed forty pounds 1t was
IN the shape OF n house three stories high.
and ornamented with flags bow-windows,
balconies and cupds, with newly mar
red couple, o: sugar, coming out of the
front door
LADY who had repeatedly called her
little boy to come and say his prayers, was
shocked by his asking her IF God was in
much Of a hurry"
"ONB done hors OF done color black
main and tail about fifteen hands hi five
years old no other marks perceivable," has
been taken mp in Indiana.
SOLDIER who was an inyetera.e Joker
and punster having had his nose, Left
cheek, and portion Of his check carried
away by shot, was asked 10y bis com
rades Il they could do any thing for him
BOYS said he, speaking as well as he
could in his mangled condition. II should
like drink Of water mighty well, il
only had the lace to ask for it,
ScoTcH minister recently told neigh
Dor that he spoke two hours and half the
sunday previous. "Why, minister. were
you not tired to death?' asked the neigh.
Dor "Aw, nae, said he ~ was as fresh
a. rose; but it would have done your
heart good to see how tired the eongrega-
ton wac.
A CHAP who rooms up above the caves.
trough, lmpcrtinenty remarks that, al
though the naturallstS make no mention of
lndla-rubber birds, he has seen doves that
were gutterperchers.
A CAUTIOUS old bachelor who is aware
that the present year is leap year. says: "IfI
You meet young lady who is not very
shy, you had better be a little shy your
self"
The Objectionable twisted locks Of hair
Mt the side Of the face known by our grand
mothers rs spitcurls' have come into
fashion again.
MoRE are drowned in the wine-cup than
ia the depths Of an ocean.
a wife who had been separated from
her husband fourteen years. went re-
Gently from New York to san Francisco
found him, and caused his arrest for biya
my.
Kentucky entomologist has kent two
musketoc- under an inverted umbler for
six months without food, and they remain
IN healthy condition. The clearly proves
that their annoyance Of mankind j. entire
ly uncalled for and not at all necessary
to their sustenance.
\ WESTERN Journal announces the
lynching Of notorious horse.thef IA fol.
lows. Mr.. Jim Clemeuton, equine abdue.
tor OF Minnesota, was lately the victim Of
a hectic sociciable"
Miss ltosmer, the sculptross, was recent
/ ly thrown from her horse and dragd thir.
+ y yards at Rome Happily, however. her
injuries were triiling
TINS Republican party Of Kentucky has
selected three negroes 60 grace their dele.
CATION in the National Republican Con
vention.
CoNsuNrrivE patients are sent nowadays
90 Guatemala The city stands five thou-