St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-08-16

ne gets his mutton from CoWts.
4 STRANGE, EII TKlE When IA good
shot fires at Il lot of paltridge>. he makes
them all quail. -Udy.
W hat phN ~ici;m stands at the top of
his profession The gentleman who
attends 'r;itIrnt> on il monument
How t" make Il rich jam crowd thirty
fii>hi"mahly dressed ladies int" one
street car.
The time To possess your soul in pat
thence Is when your hat blows of in the
street and Your eyes are too full of dirt
t" see which way 1t goes.
y Cincinnati paper describes the pat
tern "f IL Dolly Warden ~ red floss
rhln"rer">t-s roofing up Il black satin
/ mol:t>>.
\ Quaker once hearing Il person tell
how he had felt ful aluthtl " lIu was in
Distress and needed a>>i~tancr drNN
asked him "Fricmd. hast thou felt III
thy pocket fol HIM -
y lady about I" marry. was warned
hat her Intended. although II good man.
/ was very eccentric. "Wtll," She said
/ III he L. very unlike utlrl men, he is
m"Ir likely to he Il good husband"
/ play nug his pulrha>, To- Il bosom friend
ON the sidewalk : n We cocoa nuts for
/ ten cents: that viii make me sick to-
morrow. and won't have to 90 to
school
\ country girl coming ir"n;i morning
walk. was told that She looked H. fresh
a. daisy kissed 10y the dew. to which
~lIr mn"cemtll replied. ~ ou'vr got my
name right Dai>N. hut his isn't Dew"
y ladN'> hustle caught fire recently
during Il cunttagratiom at Oshkosh and
burned several feet deep into the rag~.
new >papcI~. etc. bat was cA1imgIli>hcd
before the flames reached her flesh
She l. NOW Warned against using news
papers III that capacity when they con
tain as fiery articles IA. they do this
season.
\ few days since one OF our popular
attorneys called upon another member
"t the profession. and asked his opinion
upon Il certain point of law. The law
Yer to " h"m the question was addressed
drew himself up and said Il general
/ lN get paid for telling what know"
The quc>tiomer drew Il halfdollar ''tiac-
ti"nal' from his pocket handed il to the
all Nuu know. and give II,. the change"
I here is c"ldmc>> between the parties
NOW.
\ stranger who occupied the pulpit
III Il Baptist church mean I'tic;t. last
sunday. during the first PRAYER leaned
heavily on the desk in front of him.
which proved Ia Ice not fastened a> it
should hr. suddenly the dcN out raised
their eyes AT Il Startling crash. and he
held the desk. the bible. the HYMN
book. Il Na>t of flowers and an empty
goblet >trcWm upon the floor. while
amid the pile tiouudcrrd the officiating
clergy man. Fortunately he WAS un-
hurt and after order W.> restored pro
ccrded with the services.
Chicken r"numdrumS WHY is u hen
immortal Her son never sets. Why
HAY" chickens II" hope III the future
They have their next world (necks
tWirlrd) i'll this. Why is II hen on II
fence like IL cent ! Head on one side,
tail on the other. Why don't hens lay
at night Then they are ronstcr>. Why
l. the tiI>t chicken of II brood like the
mIiimma>r of Il ship! \ little forward
of the main hatch. Why is Il chicken
Just hatchcd like Il COWS tail ! Never
seen before. Why should not Il chicken
cross the road Ii would he IL fowl
proceeding. To conclude. Il hen is Il
poor economist. hcraU~I.. fnrrNcrN grain
sIrr takes She gives peck.
RNI'.N MINED. An English paper
has been gathering up curious bits of
Typographical hlunderimg. and rrviNrs
the celebrated story of Dr. Nudge The
doctor had been presented with a gold
headed cane. and the same week Il
patent pig killing and Sausage making
machine had been tried at Il factory in
the place of " Inch he w;l> pastor. The
writer of Il report of the presentation.
and Il description of the new machine,
f"r he local nrW >paper. thus records
the accident that cnSucd "lhe incOn-
sid rItc taNtomian who made up the
forms OF the paper. got the two locals
mixed mp IN Il tlighttul manner: and
when We went to press. something like
tins Vas the appalling result Several
ni the Rev. lr. Nudgc~ friends called
upon hlm Yesterday, and after Il hllcf
conversation, the un>u>pIcIolI> pig was
seized hN the hind lr",.. and slid along
Il beam until llc reached he hot water
tank. His friends r\plhllrd the object
oi then visit. and presented him with
VERY han,i-,rmc gold headed butcher
who grabbed hm hS IA" tail swung
him round. slit his throat from ear to
ear. and III les than Il minute the car
rI>> WI> IN the water. 1hrrcupum he
came forward, and said that there We're
times when the feelings over -poWered
one &; and for that reason he would not
attempt To do more than thank those
around him tOl the manner in which
such Il huge animal Was cut into tldg-
mcut> was simply astonishing. The
doctor concluded his remarks. when the
machine seized him, and IN less time
than il takes to write it. the ri. Wh> eat
INTO fragments and worked up INTO
dcl'louS >au>;Igc>. The occasion VIII
long he remembered hN the doctors
TRENDS as one of the most delightful OF
their lives. The best pieces can he
procured for tcnprmcr Il poHnd; and We
are >llr. that thu-t " ho have sat sn long
under his ministry will rejoice that he
has been treated 80 handsomely"
The son of II Japanese farmer cametn
this country about wear ago to study
our system of agriculture. The father,
through bad crops and other causes, be
came impoverished, and was about to
recall his son, when the japanese Gov
ernment ordered the latter To stay and
continue his studies at the expense of
the State.