The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-05-17
DEALER,

shine"
If an icicle forty-fve miles in diam
eter were thrust toward the sun with
the velocity Of light, say twelve million
miles minute, it could never touch the
sun; but it would melt as fast as it
came.
A gentleman in Chicago who was ar
rested for cruelty to miserable looking
horse, asked if he ever fed him. "Ever
fed him? that's good 'un,' was the
reply. "He's got bushel and a half
Of oats at home now, only he amt got
time to cat EN-
How can honest Republicans sustain
a movement that has the sympathies of
jeff. Davis? plead the administration
people. How can an honest Republi-
can sustain cause whose chief pillars
and foremost exemplars are Thomas
Murphy and his kind! suggests the New
York Tribune.
The Washinhton Patriot in referring
to the attempt to get signatures of Con-
gressmen to document supporting
Grant, likens the affair to the case of
a chambermaid turned out Of her place
for misconduct who runs around among
her employers for a character"
The ''poor journeyman tanner of
Galena and what has come of him, is
the burden of long winded tribute to
General Grant, which we find in the
Utica Herald. The paper fails to in
form us how it happened that a gradu-
ate of West Point contrived to clothc
himself with so much humility in 50
short time.
An artless newspaper man, who
lately bought a few sausages, thus re-
lates his troubles: got them sausagcs
home without getting bit; and I cut
them apart and left them. In the
morning l visited them. Three of 'em
had cuddled up together and were
sleeping sweetly. Two of 'em had
crawled to my milk pail and were lap
ping the milk, and one, black and
white one, was on the back fence try
ing to catch an English sparrow. I
drowned the whole lot.
The knell of Radicalism ir Iowa is
Grinn-ell.
The smallpox is now known as Dolly
Warden measels
A pound of energy with an ounce Of
talent will achieve greater results than
a pound of talent with an ounce of en-
ergy.
The Boston Post wants to know what
Sickles ever did that he was sent to
Spain? Let's see-didn't he shoot
or something.
A scientific writer says that "glut-
tony is the sour.e of all our diseases"
How is it with man who dies of star
walton?
The London Times quietly observes
that 1.-THE people of the United States
seem inclined to depose their soyer-
eign.'
The Chicago Times asks: "What is
the worst thing about the present adj
We give it up.
It's lucky that a new bed Of limestone
has been discovered near Washington. |
The wbitewashing committee were near
ly out.
A lazy man in Vermont fatters him.
that he won't have to get up cold morn
lngs and kindle the fire in the future
state. The idea is not 50 pleasant to
'ome.
The Boston Globe tells of an appren-
ice who remarked to fellow apprens
ice, II don't like boss who is aller-
'ound his shop interfering wit his own
business. -
Busy-Ihe protector of new paper
having declared that he will condemn
he wrong and applaud the right" a
contemporary says the task will keep
lin about as busy as sehoolboy with
/ hornet in his trousers.
"The republican party is armed for
he conflict" says the Milwaukee Sen
incl. Has that party been stealing
back the old muskets sold to
France?
Army officers can't he elected to hold
'iyil officers, but can be detailed, as
Dent and others are. Don't you see
he difference?
Ii it is true ''that nineteen-twenti
this Of the liberals are bummers, swim
Tiers and played-out politicians" what