The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-03-07
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Song Of the sufferer from toothachs:-
How happy could be with ether"
Wife (eomplainingly): Il havsn's
more than a third of the bed" Husband
(triumphantly): "Well, that's all the law
allows you."-Erchanye.
A man out West was offered plate Of
maccaroni soup, but declined it, declaring
that they couldn't play off any boiled
pipe-stems on him."
The Smiths had dinner at Pittsburgh,
on New Years day. The first toast was
observation-disclosures bless her for saving
the Smiths to this country!'
The New Bedford Mercury says "Ths
following is rerbatim copy of note
sent to one Of the teachers it the public
schools in this city: 'plese i1kuso henry
at 3 o'clox."
Josh Billings says; "1njuns can Be
civilized once in while, but it knocks ut
least 20 per cent. oph from the value ov tho
Injun, besides hurting the general rcputa-
ton of ciyilzashun'
Hungry boarder-" Some moro bread,
if you please; always eat a good deal Of
bread with my meat" Sarcastic Land
lady" So l see, sir; likewise good deal
of meat with your bread y
A little four year old girl was asked tho
other day if she ever saw a crowf NO."
she replied. odd you ever see . white
crow 2" "No" odd you ever 500 .
black crow?" "No, but I've seen q
rooster crow"
Our friend whose eyesight was not good.
was recommended to try glasses. He says
he went and took four at the nearest
drinking saloon, and the result was that
his sight was so much improved that hs
could see double
A French Countess seized philosopher
at the supper table and exclaimed: "Whils
they are cutting up the fowls, and we
have got five minutes to spare, do tell me
the history of the world, for l want to
know it so much
A young wife on being lately asked what
she should do in case her husband should
fail, replied, "Live on arms, to be sure.
l have two and he has two, with hands al
the ends of them We will venture to
say that that couple will never fail.
A parsimonious sea captain, answering
the complaints of his men that the bres
was bad, exclaimed: "What complain OF
your bread that is made from -four:
What do you think Of the Apostles :
They ate 'shew bread, made from old
boots and shoes"
A Yankee in Texas, who sat listening
to the stories Of Louisianian in regard
to the marvellous growth of sugar cane ON
his plantation, near New Orleans, finally
said: "That amt nothing. I've seen cane
! in old New Enslan more mile long"
"What kind OF cane ?" was the general
inquiry. "a hurricane y answered tri.
umphant Yankee.
A citizen of North Stonington, Conn,
buried his first wife, and inscribed upon
her tomb, "An Angel on Earth-A
Saint in Heaven" which was all right.
But, when he buried his second along side
| his first, the marble dealer inscribed on
her tomb, "Another Angel on Earth
Another Saint in Heaven and tho
neighbors want to know how long this
thing is going to last
A clergyman on exchange found note
requested the prayers of the church, that
the loss of bis wife might be blessed to
him, etc. The preacher prayed most ferv-
emily. To his anazement and mortifca-
! ton he found that the note had lain in tho
pulpit year, while the bereaved gentle
man was On this Sabbath sitting with
new wife in the congregation.
"Cheek." Scene in a railway carriage
Commercial Gent 60 swell who was
smoking fragrant Havana Wv ould you
obhge me, sir, by changing into another
carriage or putting your cigar out pro
tenn. ?" Swell (nonchalantly)-"O GER
tainly" (Throws his cigar out Of the
window Commercial gent (complacentlv
producing and filing his meer'chaum)-
Sorry to trouble you, but never can er-