The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-08-29
BUCts and Figures.

A certain miss unguardedly volun-
teered the remark in family-circle
that, "when gentlemen eat warm ma
ple-sugar, it gets into their mustaches
and makes them scratchy." Her father
is curious to know how she found it out.
A man enjoying the euphonious name
of Pigg married lady named Young.
A few days since child was born TO
them, and rich uncle of the young one,
who, like Gilpin, "Loyes timely Joke"
promised to heavily endow the boy if
the parents would christian him with
the maternal name. The fond but thrifty
parents consented, and the youth will
hereafter be known to his friends as
Young Pigg.
An indulgent father, who wanted to
explain to an inquiring little son how
trees grew and how they were always
getting taller every year, saw the child's
face brighten up as he inquired, "Papa,
are You growing still Z" "No, dear
what makes you think so!" because
the top OF your head is coming through
your hair" The hair question was the
next i'll order, and the difference was not
quite so easily explained.
The first election in England by bal
lot has taken place in Boston, Lincoln
SHIRE. There was vacancy in the town
council, occasioned by the death of a
member, and the election took place on
the Monday after the royal assent had
been given to the new law. There were
two candidates for the vacant place,
one named Farron and the Other. Best.
1t may be accepted as favorable
augury that Oil this occasion the Best
man won.
A new reform has been inaugurated
in the British House of Commons. Mr..
f. S. Powell, Lord Frederick Cavendish,
and others have been urging bill ito
regulate the use of steam whistles in
certain manufactures" They desire to
prevent the use of whistles for the pur-
pose OF summoning or dismissing work
men. Upon this the Echo calls for an
abatement of the nuisances of bell ring
ing, and of cannon firing, and likewise
OF dinner gongs.
The method of sustaining points of
order in vogue among Western legisla-
tors is more effectual than that in use
in the older and less vigorous part of
the country. In the Wyoming Legisla-
ture short time ago, when a man in
sisted that he was not out of order, his
jerked off his coat, shouting
" IT some reliable man will hold these
ORDER" and the point was sustained
without further controversy.
A horrible scene took place at Caen, in
Normandy, on the 10Th of June. A
murderer named Dutellier was to be
Lott ol 81, l. l.
the affections of an Italian cGntatrice.
The executioner performed his bloody
work in a very bungling manner, and
the knife, instead Of cutting off the head
OF the Unfortunate culprit, literally sawed
his neck apart. The spectators were so
Mortified at this CHASTITY scene that they
the headsman and drove him
and his assistants out of the town.
I am particularly fond of lemon pie
for desert. At - went on peace
ably for couple of weeks, but always
eating lemon pie under a silent protest,
for was a stranger, and did not like to
make objections. Finally I called
waiter and said: '"John, what kind of
pie is this Z" "What kind did you Or
der, sab 2" "I ordered lemon pie, but
this appears to be dried apple" "Dat's
lemon pie, sab. You know dey has a
way of mixin' dried apples in de lemon
pie here, sab, to dat extent it requires q
man of ability to 'stinguish 'em apart,
sab. De lemons are scarce, you know,
and dey has to 'conomize EN- so as to
make one lemon do for sixteen pies"
Exorbitant American prices have
driven multitudes in late years to seek
their summering across the Atlantic.
When one finds that he can take his
choice, at the same price, between Sara
togo or Newport on the one hand, and
Paris, the Rhine, Switzerland, and
North Italy, Gu the other, he is very
likely to engage Cunard state-room,
and sail over the seas; only special at
fractions, or settled habit or disincli-
nation to brave the perils of the deep.
make him hesitate. Thus our money
goes into the foreign pocket, when lit
tie wisdom on the part of our landlords,
many of whom keep up the old war
prices, though provisions have fallen,
would fill their houses and keep our
funds at home.
A Western paper tells the following
anecdote of college chum H., mem
Der of one of the classes, was distinguish
ed not less for dry wit and sly waggery
than for his address in evading the
writing of themes, and in palming off
the brain-coined currency of others as
his legitimate slender" One Monday
morning he read theme of unusual
merit; but Professor A. "smelled rat"
and as II. finished and sat down in the
pride of conscious innocence, asked, " Is
that original, H ?" "Yes, SIR" "Are
you sure of it? ~ queried the professor,
doubtingly. "Why, yes, sir" replied
H., with the imperturbable gravity and
that pasteboard countenance he always
wore; sit had original over it in the
paper l took it from !"
An Austrian savant is said to have
discovered by means of a microscope, in
stone taken from the pyramid of
Dashour, many interesting particulars
connected with the life of the ancient
Egyptians. The brick itself is made of
the mud of the Nile, chopped straw and
sand, thus confirming what the Bible
and Herodotus have handed down to
us as to the Egyptian method of brick
making. Besides these materials, the
microscope has brought other things to
hght-the debris of river shells, of fish,
and of insects; seeds of wild and culti-
waited flowers, of corn and barely, the
field pea, and the common fax, eultiva-
ted, probably, for both food and textile
purposes, and the radish, with many
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