Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1872-07-03
THE
Dead Locks-False curls.

Dead Locks-False curis.
Shooting season-sprlng.
There is no real life b teheerfulllfe
A needful thing in the long run
breath.
A nose by any other name w0ulJ
smell as well.
The chasm that swallowed up wit
sarcasm. A.. ia
TieketOf Leave-PawnbrOkers' Ger.
The first ark-tic explorers-Noah'.
bed bugs.
II man is a MYSTERY y" woman Is q
Early rising was once an indication
OF thrift, but now it Indicates that q
man is thirsty.
1t Is announced that Detroiters who
fear hydrophobia are donning their
summer trousers Of sheet iron.
Why is a pocket handkerchief like
snake? Because it belongs to a gem
Grafton Of wiPers.
What is that which works when It
plays and plays when it works? A
Guntain.
OF what does a philosopher in
threadbare garments remind one =?
The poor-suit Of knowledge.
1t is said that a gill Of strong sage
tea taken at bed time will relieve
night sweats.
We know God easily, provided we
do not cOnstrain ourselves to decline
him. riatH
HHow the World Ways A Tale.n-I
Something wrong here. Either a
book OF Darwinian theories, or there's
been a comma left out.
"MaSsa Christopher Columbus was
q queer man. said q negro orator :
"a notion crossed him one day, and
den he crossed an ocean"
A bashful printer refused a situa-
ton in a printing Office where women
were employed, saying he never iset
up" with q gal In his life.
"Ye are the children Of the deyiI.n
was the text of q divine in the morn
ing, and in the afternoon he said.
"Children obey your parents"
A negro girl managed to escape
from the Bedford, Tenn, Jail by soap
ing herself and creeping through the
bars, leaving her clothes behind.
1t Is with li~ttle-souled people AZ
with narrOw-neeked bottles-the less
they have in them the more noise
they make in pouring it out.
A gentleman who was buying A
watch to replace n that had been
stolen from him, remarked that he
was making up for lost time"
II hope this hand Is not q counter.
felt" said = lover, as he was toying
with his sweetheart's finger. 1.-THE
best way to find out is to ring it," was
the neat reply.
The musical funny man says that
taking gin and bitters for ones health
ls like changing the key TO the fourth
above-your tonic always becomes
your dominant.
A lady lately, on being asked what
she thought was the true meaning Of
the words, ''The pestilenee that walk
elh in darkness" answered that, Sin
her opinion, 1t was bed-bugs."
A new Jersey man having heard
that Columbus was in Ohio. immedi.
ately started west to interview the old
man about the voyage which resulted
in the discovery or America,
No man can, for any. considerable
period, wear one face to himself and
another to the multitude, without
finally getting bewildered as 10 which
may be true.
Generosity during life is a very
different thing from generosity in the
hour of death; one proceeds from
genuine hberality and benevolenee,
the other from pride or fear.
An Illinois editor has become so
hollow from depending upon the
printing business alone for bread, that
he proposes to sell himselhfor stove.
pipe at three cents a foot.
The Boston Traveller has discovered
q prediction in Shakespeare on the re-
election OF, Grant, The great poet
says: "a tanner will last you eight
years.
We are all seulptors and painters,
and our material Is our own flesh and
blood and bones. Any nobleness be-
gins at once to refine 3 mans features,
any meanness or sensuality to Inn
brute them.
A party OF young gentlemen dined
sumptuonsly at restaurant, and
each one insisted on paying the bill.
To decide the matter it was proposed
to blindfold the waiter, and the first
he caught should pay the bill. He.
hasn't caught any of them yet.