The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-03-22


Horace Greeiy in ais - Great Conflict" gives
fret the cause OF the great Rebellion, and IN
order to initiate him 1t is necessary TO say that
the war on the Paw Paw had Its origin III an
covert act" o. certain quadruped OF the ca
nine species, who. under the cover OF night
aud with malice afore thought, sneaklngly
entered the back shanty' OF neighbor and
stole ham. When the owner OF the ham be-
came aware Of his loss, visions OF ham and
eggs fed from his mind and he Immediately
declared war, swearing vengence on the thief
II ne ever came proving around his house
again. Not many mornings after he heard
something trying 10 get into the back shanty,
aud taking his rifle he went out to reconnoiter
The enemy hearing his footsteps beat nasty
retreat The order, make ready, take aim,
fre!" was given and a leaden missile was
lodged in the rear Of the retreating enemy,
who immediately performed some peculiar
gymnastics and began to sing a sad refrain
which sounded in the distance like "Johny
stole ham" He was, however, able to make
good his retreat TO head quarters where coun-
Gil Of war was held but the Generals disa-
greed, one being for peace and the other for
war. However female biped Of the genus
homo went out as reinforcement, and came
upon ,the camp Of the enemy while he was at
breakfast, and Immediately shot of her mouth
with q volley OF words which it would not do
to- print. He returned the fire with equal viSor.
A sharp fire Of words was kept up for few
seconds when he ordered her to retreat and
she retreated in good order, though somewhat
"demoralized," giving farewell shot in order
to make good the adage about - having The last
word" lie has since changed his base
where it is to be hoped that he will treat all
such theving quadrupeds in similar manner
and risk the cons equences. Il will soon be al
quiet on the raw Paw.
ScRIBSER's FOR APEn.-A half dozen Illus
trated articles, an unusual number OF short
stories, several bright essays nd sketches, two
or three papers OF special interest to scholars.
and some excellent poems, make the April num-
Der of cRIBNERs not only popularity attractive,
but really valuable. The leading article, beau
tifuily llust rat ed Is descriptive Of the great
Z uitcu otdtor navy dtu al Dldio hSiahu' wi
fornla. Curiositles OF Plant Life" is an On
paper Oh Natural History. with
number of striking illustrate ons. Prof. Schele
&c We're writes sketchily. and with the aid OF
pictures OF the T. arth's g Hidden Treasures;
and Amos q. Draper, himself an inmate OF the
institution. describes 1.-The Silent College AZ
Washington Apropos OF Easter. we tne
graphic account, by Eugene schuyler, OF the
Russian observance Of the feast also thought
full and Characteristic poem by Mrs. \. d. I.
Awakened Japan" is the title Of
brief and timely paper by Noah Brooks, writ
err unusually well informed on Japanese matters.
The three short stories are especially readable.
They are 1.-The Mullenyile Mystery; with /
the False Prophet: Mormon Wife's Story ;
and The Haunted Closet. There is a suggest
i've and touching little paper on = The Boy
John" Warmers Backlog Studies-lN."
are Juicy and delicious as usual. These papers
have attracted wide attention, and constitute
one OF the most attractive features OF the
MONTHLY =" Shall we say : Is Being Built" is
| spirited and scholarly essay in the field OF
grammatical controversy; and il an able and
eloquent paper Or. Tayler Lewis defends the
,elef in The One Human Race, in opposi
ION to tue theories OF race before Adam
among the poems, Margaret !. Preston's 'Hero
# the Commune should not be overlooked.