The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-12-28

heating pol;er ia the fire.
An agricultural p per says str wberry beds
may be protected frcm birds b, ru"nidE d, wire
| along tie walk to which CT is ohsired. Her
movements I'D and down the length -, the wire
viii keep the birds away. Where there Is no
chain, the wire can he run through the CT. and
heated to 2 temperature that will fill the Cat
with longing 60 keep moving.
| The TitusviIe Press SANDERS the policemen Of
indianapolis by charging that they employ buna-
mers and street.w -lkers to wake them up if any
thing UNUSUAL is going the city.
| The Home ,Jommal has discovered process
| Whereby va maa can be turned iatO gas-body
! boots -nd all, leaving not even W sh bill"
| Such coptriy nee weud no, be in great de-
maud t.re, We know some people around
Ottawa who are all gas now. Some coutraptiou
| f.. 'uruiug them into men, is what is needed.
McNulta, w., murdered his wife at Chilli.
cothe last summer was last week sentenced to be
hnng.-Er.
What? Only hung? For such crime he
should 10 imprisoned IN the peniteutiary for at
! least toco years. Something wrong in this
sentence.
The folowiug is the correct defniton of an
often used term reported by Dismal an awk-
ward ink spat' erst in the Htor7aor:
DIETER ASH GooT."--E Il. Blrr, Esq, of
Goodfarm, has Deutscher in his employ who.
when any thing pleases him, says it is BETTER
ash good" Mr. b.. desiring to know the exact
meaning that Hans attaches to the expression,
| eaquired of him; Hanse Whit do you mean
| by better ash goot:'" WELL" replied Hans.
when you got broadt.mit butter, dat is goot
when you molasses put up by dem dot wac
better ash goot y"
Ths m.u arrested by policeman McMullen
this msrning on suspicion Of stealing Il pair OF
red leather saddle.bags, proved TO be Innocent.
1t was reporter TOR the Post, and the sndde-
bags which it was thought he carried under his
arms, were nothing bur bis rolled up to keep
'em from the frost.-Aicugo MuN
An ingenious clothing merchant, down in Iu-
diana, thus introduces an advertisement:
| DEFENDERS come, and now the bretzes
Howl among the lifeless treeses;
Now the boy with ragged trowses,
! Shiverihg homeward drives the cowses
His boots are old and torn his clothes is,
And, bless my soul! how blue his nose H.
A South Saginaw Indy fell into the river on
last SATURDAY while fishing, and was rescued by
her husband, while in a site of TEMPORARY in.
sanity erre Haute Max.
Whist does that Nat m,n mean Was the
man temporarily insane because he recued hi,
wife
Dio Lewis having suoces,fully demonstrated
th.t he Can live at an average cost of fiftv.four
cents week, has started newspapev-Er.
This style of rigid economy would be good
thing for some country editors to practice I'll. a,
We know Of, and still they would not be likely
to become overburdened with riches.
Nothing like it-keeping in bed these zero
mornings waiting for the girl to get up and
start the fires. Try it Just oncs.-Carl,nctMe
Democrat.
But suppose you have no girl and let your
wife mako the fires? We are thusly fixed. W.
told our Ierush we'd "let her." and tho result
was simply disgustin'. We now know how to
sympath,zs with fellows on the plains who have
been scalpsd by Indians. 1t isn't . deliciou,
sensation.
i The Liberal Rfarmer. at Morris, says: zero.
qust. in the Court House yard, Is played out. :"
ana in its stead they have adopted new game. 1,
10 done on skates on the ice, and is called the
"kiss waltz" 1t is not only quite exciting, but
an awfully ticklish business, especially where
there 10 but one moustache between each pair OF
playera"
We Judge BY the following from the Amboy
Journal that neighbor Haskell attends all the
places of amusement in that city:
Rev. Wsrdlo will preach to morrow morninu
ON the Heavens OF Amboy-in the evening, w
may expect to learn Of the Hells of Am boy
Bulwsr says ''poverty is only an idsa., w,
consider it very "poor" one. Those about to
pay their taxes here in Ottawa may Look at i,
differently, however.
Query: How much Ottawa whisky is i,
necessary tor man to drink in one night to be
found on the depot platform the next morning
And hew often must this thing he repeated To
disquality one to take charge Of a Sunday school
class! We give 1t up!-Jol1et RcpuJlicdn
In order to answer the above eonuudrum. We
are obliged to ask for an important fact not de-
tailed in the above. Who was tho man Some
men are possessed Of greater capacity for Ottaws
or any other kind Of whisky than others. II i,
be admitted that a man Of great brain CAR
amble off with whisky in proportion, what ohauc,
would the editor Of tho Joliet Republican hsve
lie would probably never have reached the pls,
form of the depot with even u thimble full OF
grog! As to the Sunday School part of tL,
question we cannot answer NO we'll. Some Sun