The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-09-19
Facts and Figures.

A st. Louis man advertiaes for "a
girl to work in hair" He is evidently
bachelor.
A blacksmith in Essex, Pa, inform
his patrons in notice that "No horse
will be shod on Sunday except sickness
and DEATH"
Connecticut is credited with the lazi-
est fisherman. The individual in ques-
ton is fifteenth amendment" who
ties his flsh-line To his dog, and when he
gets bite kicks the dog.
"Ike," said Mrs. Partington, how do
astronomers measure the distance OF tho
sun 2" Why" replied young hopeful,
"they guesses quarter of the distance,
and then multiplies by four"
There is Shawnee divine whose name
is Rev. DR.. Whitefeather. If this thing
goes on. we shall have Rev. DR.. Up-a-
tree, and Right Rev Bishop Black ASA
crow, and the Hon. Mr.. On-the-fence.
Sir Charles Lyell declares that the
entire continent of North America will
be washed away into the ocean in four
and half million years. And yet the
people take an interest in real estate i
A Springfield Common Councilman
surprised his contemporaries by his
knowledge of sinful games the other
night, by responding "pass when his
name was called on a yea and nay
vote.
He who betrays another's secret, be-
cause he has quarreled with him, was
never worthy of the sacred name of
friend breach of kindness at one side
will not Justify a breach of trust on the
other.
"Would you take the last cent a per-
son has for glass Of soda water 7" asked
a Kaukakee youth. EYES," responded
the unthinking proprietor; whereupon
hopeful pulled out the cent and got the
drink
The Cedar Rapids folks complain that
there is no sidewalk leading to the GEM
etery, and their editor out there con-
solingly assures them that, if they will
only have patience, they can all ride
some day.
The Christian Reuieso believes that
ministers are bound to obey the Ten
Commandments as we'll as laymen, and
that they have no right to work seven
days in the week. AS they cannot take
Sunday as their rest-day, they should
set apart some other day.
There is man in Portland who sup
ports his family in handsome style by
simply tying an able-bodied cat by the
tail to clothes'-lin every night, and
then going out in the morning to collect
the soap, shaving cups, brushes, ETC.,
thrown into the yard by angry boarders
in adjoining houses.
DR.. Gross, the celebrated surgeon, was
once dangerously ill. Soon after his re-
covery, he met one Of his lady patients,
who remarked to him: 80 doctor, I
rejoice that you are out again Had we
lost you, our good people would have
died by the Dozen" "Thank you, mad
am," replied the affable doctor "but
now I fear they will die by the Gross"
Two neighbors living in Westchester
county had long and envenomed liti-
cation about small spring, which they
both claimed. The Judge, wearied out
with the case, at last said "What is
the use of making fuss about little
water ?" "Your Honor will see the use
of it" replied one of the lawyers, "when
I inform you that the parties are both
milkmen~
Love and romance by telegraph are
one of the institutions of this enter
prising age. Mr.. Scudamor, Superin-
tendent of the Government Telegraph
in Great Britain, in reporting on the
effects of employing male and female
operators, says that it not only "raises
the tone" of the men, but leads to
friendships, and even matrimonial en-
gagements at opposite ends of the line.
The milkman is great institution in
Rio de Janeiro his cart is on legs in
stead of wheels. The COW herself is
driven round to the houses to supply the
customers, always accompanied by G
calf, sometimes year old, muzzled and
tied to her tail. This method would
seem to insure fine milk; yet we learn
that it is quite necessary to watch the
operation of milking to make sure
Of it.
The first Japan tea, of any conse-
quence, received in this country was in
lS59-60, when we imported 365,306
pounds. From that small beginning
our imports have gone on increasing
each succeeding year, till in 1901 the
shipments from Japan reached l3,449,-
157 pounds, or about 27 per cent. Of all
the tea we imported in that year. The
Quantity imported in 1S71-72 has al
ready reached II, ,4S2,l73 pounds.
The appearance of the late American
iron clad Stohewan steamiHg into one
of the harbors of japan created consid-
erable astonishment on board Dutch
craft that was crawling slowly out, and
the skipper, thinking that any thing
strange upon the water must be Eng
lish, hailed her with "Vat sheep is dat"
and was puzzled for the rest of his voy-
age by the hoarse response from Yam
kee officer, "No sheep, but a ram"
A fellow of eighteen summers invested
in a banana on the cars recently. He
carefully removed the peel, and put it
on the seat by his side; then he broke
the fruit up in small bits, cycling it
anxiously as he did 80. When this was
done he picked up the peel, shook it in
his lap, and finally threw the pieces out
of the window, remarking as he did so
That's the fust of them prize-packages
ever bought, and it's the last enc, you
set."
! The American Congress is not the
J only august-or is it august?-body
whose members sometimes get drunk.
: A writer in the Graphic, himself men,
} Der of Parliament, describes some dis
trass;po and disoraoafI1 oaaAa of the