Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1872-08-27
ooh, Blame Net The Bard 2"

Poor old DIR. Sam Bard, who. as q
polititian, has been everything by
turns and nothing long. is very mis-
cradle man or IL he isn't he ought to
be. Soon after the war he began the
publication of a Conservative paper at
Atlanta; but after while, finding
that it didn't Pay, he came out for
Grant and Joined in the wild hunt af-
ter office under the practical flag of
Radicalism. AS a reward for his
treachery to his party and his section,
Grant appointed him Governor of the
Territory of Idaho. But hearing that
the Indians out there were addicted to
clubs and scalping-knives and war
paths, and to other sanguinary indis-
cretions of a like character, and fear
ing that his Hyperian locks, the pride
of his earlier manhood and the boast
of his latter years, might be lifted by
the savage iconoclasts of the plains,
he resigned the Governship without
moving out of his tracks, and went on
with the publication of his paper
Time passed on, and another change
came over the spirit of the Doctors po-
litical dream. Having nothing more
to hope for from the Administration
i'm the way of official plunder, he
threw another summersault and land
ed, without breaking his neck, fiat
footed, straight-out Democrat, filling
his paper day after day, until it died
of some pulmonary disease or other,
with double-leaded anti-Administra-
ton articles. But there was no mon
ey In this sort Of thing, and ere long
the true Georgian-thc handsomest
and weakest newspaper in the State
slept with its fathers, or some other
calamity befell it, we don't clearly re
member what. At any rate, DIR. Bard
or Governor Bard, as the world had
now learned to call him, wondered
around the Gate City in maiden med
itation fancy free for some time, and
then suddenly turned up as the editor
of q new Grant paper at Chattanooga,
and as the editor of Grant paper at
Chattanooga he browses around the
village now, waiting for tie waning
Administration, perhaps, to reward
his second apostacy by making him
the Governor of something or some
thing else nearer home, where the saw
age warrior goes not upon the war
path and the hair of the white man is
lifted not by the keen scalping-knife
of the brave.
Some weeks ago the mayor and
Board of Alderman of Chattanooga, all
as truly loyal as Bcssemer steel at a
hundred dollars per ton, took it into
their heads, where there was no lack
of room for it on account of super
fluffy of brains, to invite the Presi-
dent and his Cabinet to come down
and see their fire-engines squirt water
to the top of q three-stOry building
and enjoy scarcely less magnificent
spectacle from the brow of Lookout
mountain, which reposes like gigan-
tic lion couchant within q few miles
OF the city. Gov. Bard was appointed
a committee six to go to Washing
ton and deliver the invitation into the
imperial hands of his Excellency the
President. But on his arrival there
the Committee found that the Presi-
dent was reposing in Otium c,tnl dig
somewhere among the Thousand Isles
of st. Lawrence, drinking Irish whis-
key with PHI. SHERIDAN, and fishing
for whales with anybody who hap
pened to come along. So nothing was
left the committee but to sit quietly
down amid the heat and dust of fhe
city of magnificent rast alities and
await the uncertain return OF his per-
ipatetic Excellency to the winter capi-
tai of the nation. And there for ten
days or two weeks he waited, without
being driven, strange rs il may seem,
to either desperation or suicide. And
what was his reward for all this pa
tient waiting and paying of hotel or
hash-mill bills? Why, the empty
satisfaction of seeing his historic name
written "Gov. Bond" in the Washing |
ton dispatches one day and as "Gov. |
Bird" in the Washington dispatches |
another day. 1t was announced few
ays ago that the President was about |
to visit the deserted capital for the |
purpose of holding Cabinet meeting, |
at which would be considered the |
great national question of the accept
ance or rejection of the Chattanooga |
invitation. Let us hope that it was
accepted, and that thus the patient |
waiting of Gov. Bard-Bond-Bird was
fittingly rewarded.