Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1872-01-18
Miscellaneous.

beds
Nebraska has an editor who spell.
wife VI
What is the worst seat man can 81,
on? Self-conceH.
minnesota now has about one mile OF
railroad to every $50 inhabitants.
Batting sausages and buying eggs are
described as confidence operations"
Tit for Tat-It is beautys privi-
lege to kill time; and, in revenge, time
kills beauty.
-One brand Of Cincinnati whisky is
warranted to contain 437 fights to the
barrel
| What big thing can man have in
his pocket and yet have it entirely empty?
A big hole
1t is said the Ohio Penitentiary made
last year S37, 900 over all ordinary, and
$4,000 over all expenses.
The champion temperance pledge
agner lives in Danbury, Conn. He has
signed eighty three times.
A Hartford dentist is spoken of in
one of the local papers as making tooth
pulling, filling, ETC., "a luxury"
My dear sir, | will pay you in
time-and since time is money, the
longer you wait the surer you are of your
| pay"
The most definite description Lew
iston (Me.) woman could give of her
lost baby was kinder fat, with a calico
dress on"
| "A New Hampshire man refused to pay
six cents for an almanac of 1872, because
| a last years one had been offered him for
a cent
-" Have you much fish in your bag?'
| asked a person of fisherman. 80 Yes
there's a good eel in it, was the rather
slippery reply.
The Christian Register, commenting
on the frequent abuse of ID. ID. and LII.
d., says it would direct Mr.. Bergh's at
tention to the "cruelty of killing men by
Degrees
"A railroad surveying party found in
| the mountains north of Yreka, Cal, a
| forest of wild plum trees, on which there
were estimated to be five thousand bar
rels of plums.
"A brick has been discovered at Lib
1rty, Va, forty-five feet below the surface
of spot which, when the present owner
bought it forty years ago, was covered
with large pine trees.
An old minister, the other day, asked
a woman what could be done to induce
her husband to attend church. :" don't
know" she replied, unless you were to
put pipe and jug of whisky in the
pew"
| An exchange thinks the snail has a
Fright smart chance for toothache." de
! has one hundred and ten rows of teeth,
with one hundred and ten teeth in each
row, or twelve thousand two hundred and
ten in all
AT meeting of the Pennsylvania
Fruit Growers Society, President Hopes
stated that strawberry cultivatOr for the
Philadelphia markets sold annually from
81, 600 to $4,000 worth, from about three
acres of strawberries.
Stephen Pearl Andrews says that "the
absolutoid and abstractoid elementismus
of being echoes or reappears, by analogy,
within the relatoid and concretoid elabO-
rismus." Were it not for this lucid state
ment, the proposition might seem contus-
| ing!
Are sister Sal and Nance resources,
pap No, my son, why do you ask that
| question:" "Becausc heard uncle Josh
| say if you would only husband your re-
| sources YOU would get along "A great deal
better than you do, that's all, pa" Pa
plunges into a state OF intense reflection.
"A more remarkable case of disagree
ment Of doctors could not be found than
the Wharton murder trial at Baltimore.
PHYSICIANS and chemists of national
reputation" testify that poison was present
in the stomach in large quantities, while
sngants of equal notoriety swear that there
was not trace Of it to be found.
-'Mister. how do you sell sugar to-
dayg' "Onlv twenty cents a pound, sir.
Cant give it. I'll drink my coffee with
out sugar, and kiss my wife for sweeten-
ing. Good day, sir" Good day. When
YOU get tired Of that kind of sweetening,
please call round again !" 81 will He
called next day.
Mrs. Slaughter, of Elmwood, H., last
summer advised her husband to drop his
policy in the Washington Life Insurance
! COMPANY. believing he would outlive her
He paid his premium, and few weeks
after the Company paid the amount OF
his policy. His death resulted from an
accident.
During the year 1871, 1876 dead infants
were found in the streets, alleys and nv
ers of New York city. There were dur,
ing the year S51 deaths by accident, 1l9
persons drowned, 1913 suicides, and AZ
murders. The total number OF births IN
the city during the year were 2o,9oo )
marriages, II, 302 deaths, 20 a32.
A California scientist declares that
he has prolonged his life by sleeping with
his finger tips touching his toes, and has
invented a machine to hold the body IN
that position when in repose. lie as
sumes that the vital electric currents, in
stead of running off and being wasted,
are thus kept in an even circumiiow.
The telegrapher at Meriden, Conn,
got into furious passion because DIS
batch came over the lines for the Meri-
den Britannia Company; Send US sixty
monkeys and twenty-five babies. lie
thought il was joke, but was relieved 10
find that monkeys meant match safes ana
the babies sculptured paper-weights
A demure looking chap hailed char
coal peddler with this query. have you
cot charcoal in your wagon - Yes, SIR
Said the expectant driver, stopping ms
| $50 a -, rht ~ abapryel the de-