Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-11-14
A Mother-in-laY,s Fast Ride.

Joe. S. is the fortunate posscssor Of a
mother-in law, and, what he probably
thought more Of, among his thorses was
one known as Quaker Now Quaker was
good roader, and could and would Jerk
wagon, with two in it, in j2:5l on the
road, and the harder he was pulled in and
the moro he was yelled at, the faster he
meant to go. In fact, when1a competing
horse ranged alongside and sSstrong pull
was taken, accompanied EW yells, he
thought he must do his lew Ibest Oh trot-
ting. and YOU bet he did 7t!y Net 11a9}y;
years a2e, nl.v.. .l.e ce-,,.Gye'Iair, vas. held
where Master Joe then lived, he had old
Quaker hitched up to l30 pounds three
quarter seated wagon, and, az he was get
ting in, mother-inluw wished TO 60 with
him. He informed her that he was going
to the town clerks office at the lower end
of the village (aboul mile), asA if she
was in hurry to return she would have
to drive back alone, and then cramped the
wagon for her admittance; and with head
dropping and slouching gait old Quaker
walked along, taking the i'll assorted pair
to the town clerks Office. Now, be it
known, Joe dearly loves fun, and will have
it as often as possible, while mother-in-
law is rigid, old-fashioned, sky-blue Bap-
tist, undoubtedly very good, but unfortu-
nately possessed with the idea that to
laugh is to sim Itso happened that every
team at that time was going to the fair
grounds, oy else was walking; so Quaker
had no chance 10 "score up" but just as
they arrived at the office of the town
clerk, S. saw Jack Barnes coming on his
way to the fair. Now Jacks mare has
the reputation of being I or 5 seconds
faster than old Quaker. To turn Quaker
around, jump out, and advise mother
law to drive slow going home, was but u
minutes work and then holding up his
hand to attract Jacks attention, he told
him he would pay chicken fxings and ct
cetcras if he would range alongside Qua
ker at speed, yell, and spirit the old horse
up the street to the Fair Ground entrance.
A nod, and Jack touches Lady Cutter with
his whip, sings out git and lays for Qua.
ker, who, hearing the stopper coming,
grabs at his bit. Mother-in-law takes
hold of reins in front of the buttons, puts
feet against brace iron in 'front.' and as the
lady ranges alongside, Jack yelling lively,
mother-in-law takes her strongest pull,
screaming whoa to stop her "animile."
But he didn't stop-not much-he didn't.
The pull was just enough to steady him
good; whoa he evidently considered to be
meant for sell to the other horse, and
squatted to 90 his level best, and just did
it. Now YOU bet Barnes was actually
getting left behind, and warming up to his
work he commenced in right good earnest
to sing out, "Hi Yarrl Go er long What
are you about Git. won't yer% and they
did git-nice-" both on EN-" The peo-
ple they passed seeing their speed and the
old lady's hat on the back Of her neck,
her shawl streaming out behind, and the
courage with which she hung on to the
lines, clapped their hands and encoura.
gingly sung out, "Good. old gal P-"Gay
Old bird O"2:4Or-"Bully for old Qua
kerr And as they passed the two hotels
the fast boys on the plazzas gave them
three cheers with avinl-in fac with sew
eral extra Wins
ing train for her Green Mountain home.
HIS parting words were, "he should not
dare allow her to drive Quaker again, as
he had cautioned her to drive slow, and
she had gone and beat one of the fastest
horsea in town." =,
Joe said next day, with quiet twinkle
in his eye, that his wife did pot give him
a "curtain lecture" hat night. and when
parties put up their little bets on it, he
proved BY Jack Barnes that they went out
to Pittsburgh for their chicken fxings and
etceteras, and didn't get back until 6
o'clock next morning.