, 1872-11-01
MARRIAGE.
Should q Girl or Eacr Parents Choose
Hex Husband!
From the London Saturday Feuie,o.

From the London Saturday Fcuie,o.
The controversy as to which is the best OF the
two methods Of marrying ones daughter in use
in France md England respectively has not yet
been decided by any preponderating evidence.
Whether the parents, especially the mother
s-ught to find husband for q daughter, or
hether the gil. young end ine5psFieneed as
chance OF not knowing her own mind in the first
place, and that Of not understanding tho real
nature of the man Elo chooses in the
second, these are the two principles con-
tended for by the rival methods, and the
Of either is go infinitely bad that there is moth
ing to choose between them; and the same is
true, inversely, Of the best. When things go
well, the advocates of the particular system in
they were; when they 60 i'll, the opponents
howl their condemnation, and say, "We told
you so.''
The French method is based on the theory
That woman's knowledge OF the world, and a
mothers intimate acquaintance with her dough
ter's special temper and requirements, are Likely
to be better guides in the choice Of . husband
than the ca1low fancy Of q girl. It is assumed
that she will be able to separate the
4say pa1 the from gaa the o ana cha she
will appraise at it's true value fascinating man
ner with q ehaky moral character at it's back,
and . handsome face will 50 for little when the
evidence Of the family lawyer proves the poyer
" VI lQ6 RtAH9% ~ eAAo .6"A47 q AA~4As
tongue, dattering ways and taking presence
would have included everything in heaven and
earth that man should be and no dread Of
future poverty, no evidence OF the bushels OF
Wild oats eoWn broadcast, would have convinced
her that Don Juan was o naauudis part and
scamp into the bargain. Again, the mother
usually knows her daughters' dispositions better
than the daughters themselves, and can distin-
guish between different idiosJncracies and their
respective needs as no young people are able to
do.
Laura is romantic, sentimental, ina aginative;
but Laura canlot mend stocking or make q
shirt; her lants are email gloves, Rix-and her
arms are like tobacco-stoppers. sho las no
power Of endur1nce, no persistency Of temper,
End no executive ability; but she falls in love
with a younger ssn just setting out to seek his
fortune in Australia and, if she is allowed, full
Of enthusiasm and delight, she na11ies hin, and
literally killed By hardship; Or if she has vital
ity enough to survive the hard experience Of
roughing it in the bush, she co1lapses into q
EzsGhe zaa 56asgar andss dsasa snd RRnfn
ed, the miserable victim Of circum-
stances, sinking under burden too heavy for
her to bear. Now French mother would have
foreseen al these dangers, and have provided
substantial quality Of Lnura's romance, and the
reality Of her physical weakness and incapacity.
She would have kept her out Of the sight and
hearing Of that fascinating younger son just OF
to Australis to dig out his rough fortunes in the
bush, and would have quietly assigned her to
some conventional well endowed man OF mature
age, who might not exactly be souls ideal,
and whose rheumatism would probably make him
chary OF the moonlight, but who would have
taken ca1n Of the poor little frail body, dressed
it in dainty gowns and luxurious furs, given it a
soft couch to lie on, and q luxurious carriage
to drive in, and have provided it with food con-
veulent and ease nnbroken. And, IN the end,
Laura would have found that mamma was right,
and rf,of1 Ia fnr or,1 &t,of
o1dinary-aooking, middle-aged care-taker
better hussand for her than would have been
that adyentarous young Adonis, who could have
given her nathing better than ehakedown Of
cup Of brick tes for the sparkling wines of her
youth. It maybe q humiliating confession to
make, but the on saying about poverty coming
in at the door andloyo flying ont Of the window
strength enough to:ough it; for the body holds
the spirit captive, aSd, however willing the one
may bc, the Teaknessof the other conquers in
the end.
ing, adventurous, wouldbe as one smothered in
rose leaves as the wife af q rich man in Eng
land. The dull monotonI Of conventional life
would half madden her, ind her uncomprom-
isiog temper would break out ia e thousand
eccentricities, and make hercountleas enemies.
Let her 60 to the bush il :ou Like. She is Of
the stamp which bears heroes, and her sons
vii bs . sta1wart race, f1t for ths work before
GIEI14 Lu6 HlSG I0QEQeI MI0 A111 II Ii 0&n1 TO
organize the future Of her daughters would take
care to find her q man and fortune which
would utilize her energy and courage; but
Maria, if left to herself, might perhaps, fall in
love Low WITH sos caT sa9 ssn oassE t $oGd fs na
6oon have to be exchanged for the stereotyped
couventiona1fties OF the owner OF place where,
as his wife, her utmost limit would be- riding to
bounds and taking OF the prize for croquet.
Such wen-ftting arrangements as these are
the ideal of the French system; just as the
union Of two hearts, the one soul finding it's
companion soul, and both living happily ever
after, is the ideal OF the Engliah system
Against the French lies the charge ct the
cruel sale, for go much money, Of a young crea-
ture who has not been allowed choice, scarcely
eyen the law Of rejection; agolnBt the English
there is the cruelty OF suffering girls foolish
fancy to destroy her whole life, and the absurd
iiy Of treating such fancy as fact. For the
French there is the plea Of the enormous power
OF instinct and abt, and that really it signifies
very little to girl what she uarries, pro-
vided only that he is kind to her, and that she
has not fallen in love with anyone else, she ia
held euro to lore the first presented. For the
English there is the counter-plea of individual
needs and Independent choice, and that women do
not lore BY instinct, but By sympathy. The
ginity in herrt of tho young girl they marry !;
and few Frenchmen would think they had got
the kind Of WOMAN warranted it they married
one who had been engaged two OF three times
duA W NuOs6 Au4duEtu 1tfG4b 41AA QcCu
accorded the famiiarities which people in Eng
lcrd hold innocent and as matters Of course.
The English, in return, demand a more absolute
fidelity after marriage, and are generous enough
to any false starts before. To them the CON
tract is more matter Of free choice than it is
in France; consequently failure in carry
ing ont tie stipulation carries with it more
dishonor. The French, taking into con-
sderation that the wife had nothing whatever
to say to the bargain which gave her away, are
Inclined to be more lenient when the theory of
instructive love fails to work, and the individ-
uality Of the woman expresses itself in after
preference; always provided, Of course, that
the bien-seances are respected, and that no scan
dal is created-
Among the conflicting rights and wrongs OF
the two systems, it is very difficult to say which
is the better, which the wiser. # it seems q
horrible thing to marry girl without her COZ On
eent, or without any more knowledge of the
man with whom she is to pass her Life tban can
be got by once or twice seeing him IN formal
public conclave, it seems quite as lad to let
our women roz.n about the word at the age
when their instincts are strongest and their Iea-