The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-12-13
Varieties.
. Varieties.
BYKoS eulogized 9 cigar.
CowrrR versiied q canary.

CowPER versi6ed q canary.
HoxER wrote epics on frogs.
PoPE twanged his Tyre about . lAdy's
fan. - = s.ias
WHEN is a young lady very like .
whale? When she's pouting,. u.
WHAT fruit does . newlysmarried
couple mostly resemble . A gresn pear
TaE most popular visitor to the print
ing office just now is the ''man who shuts
the door,"
A TRAVELLER who has just returned
from England says the first thing he
missed on arriving in London Vas his
shadow. ssoif's eH nartW
A TERRE H4oTf girl exclaimed, when
she saw Thomas feline elevate his
back: "Oh wouldn't he make ; love.
ly hustle p .,.'s...-i.,--.t.
SIR THOMAS BRowN says:laH Sleep 10
deaths younger brother, and, 90 like
him that I never dare trust him without
saying my prayers s1A i. .asfu
"Cons, go to bed, Freddie; you see it
is sundown, and the little chickens all
20 to roost at that time" %, man.
ma, but the old hen goes with them"
A PUPIL in one of the public schools
recently revised an old saying found in
his grammar, as follows: sit is better
to give than to receive-a good licking"
"Ou, my dear, there is mos: lovely
set-pin, earrings, and sleeve buttons !
Do 90 buy themr' Yes, my dear, l
mean to 60 by them as fast as possiblep n
"How DOES that look, eh ~ said . big
iisted Wall street man to . friend, hold.
ing up one of his brawny hands. 1.rbat,"
said the friend, 'sloeks as though you'd
gone short on your soap" =
A YOUNG man whe went West from
Danbury, few months ago, has sent
one letter home. 1t came Friday. 1t
said: "iSead me rig." And his fond
parents don't know whether he is
scalped or married. -Dan6wy Nses.
"vARIE1Y weddings" have been in.
troduced into Rhode Island. They take
the place of wooden, tin, or crystal we'd
dings, the happy couple receiving va
riety of presents instead of having them
all of one material.
Chow LIKE its father it isr' exclaimed
the nurse on the occasion Of the christ
ening of babe, whose father, who was
over seventy, had married young wife.
every like,,' replied satirical lady;
"it hasn't tooth in its head"
THE Tituville Press says: There ID
one young lady in town who ate oysters
all through the month of August when
she could get them, under the supposi-
ton that there was an "" In that
month";" "Orgust" was the way she
spelled it. ,d4a
The father of boy whose veracity is
not so marked as his back, asked the
teacher why it was his son didn't have q
better acquaintance with figures, and va
considerably electrified when the teach
er tenderly observed, ~ really don't
know, unless it ia because figures would
not lie."
THE Evansville Journal says: 1t ap-
pears to be the style for ladies to wear
exaggerated neckties around their waists
with the bow dangling down the skirt.
A little boy seeing one of these arrange.
ments on Main street yesterday called
out to the wearer: "Say, mum, yer
sursingle's comm off" A scornfui
look was his only reward.
SOME one was talking to Thackersy OF
certain gentleman's strange addiction
to beer. ats a great pity" said he,
"that he does not keep check rein ON
himself, for he is marvellous fellow
otherwise-I mean for talent. ! hardly
know his equal" "Yes," retorted
Thackeray, sake him for halt-and'haii.
we ne'er shall look upon his like again"
AYouNG man from Kentucky, who un'
dertook to open a country store In the.
mountains OF East Tennessee, came to
speedy ruin because he was "too nippy"
for that region. He wore stcye-plpe
hat, had his boots blacked every day,
and mounted fresh paper collar every
morning, all of which served to disgust
the natives, who said he put on too
much Kentucky bluegrass society style
for them.
A srABLE.BoY, wellknown in Love
Lane, Brooklyn, went TO his employer
last Thursday and after blowing mum
ber of sonorous blasts on his nasal bugle
to indicate that he had . severe cold IL
the head, exclaimed: I" By goily, boss,
dis chile can't 60 near de HOSES no
more. believe now, for do Lor', Pse
cot de hoss diseased Jake, you're q
fool n exclaimed his employer. "Asse'
are not subject to that disorder"
| What 1t Costs to Use Tobacco.
Tho man who spends thirty cents PEI
day for cigars. will spend in forty years