Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-01-18
Answer to Correspondents.
BY JOSH billings.

| JAKE.-Man,sm moral and phisikal lif
IL made up ov bye laws and constitu
shun, and if he will take good care O.
the bye laws, the. constitushun vii
take care oy itself. -'i
The fewer bye laws a man haz, tn,
better, only have them good, and dsee t.
it that they are executed. '...f..-- 49,.
/ / kno ov lots of men who are all byt
laws and no constitushun, and thel
agin, kno of sum men who are al
constitushun and no bye laws. f- d,
I'll kant hive but one, give me tbs
constitushun.
JoHN.-f1attery Is a very po Rerfu
stinlulant, but its great strength lays il
being deiikately administered. 1i ~.
Thare liz some men who will take i
az they dew hasty puddin and milk,
Just gap and swallow.
Honest tiattery STAINS in the same re.
lashun tew just praze that interest duz
tew money. ~
Every man liz entitled tew the inter.
est on hiz mummy, and per cent o.
f1attery wont hurt any man who is
honestly entitled teW the principal.
Flattery alwuz makes wise man
humble and kerful, but it haz the same
effek on a phooi that band of musk
hason plough hoss, the first time he
hears it.
AMos.-Doktors are not all uuacks,
yu have got wrong noshuns about this.
Doktors, lawyers and ministers have
a hard row to no, they have to deal
with the kredulity, knavery, and fears
up the people, three of the most diff
kult traits in human natur tew handle.
LII Waz a doktor, and understood mi
bizzness, should oloktor mi pdalsgsts,
and let the disease take care oV itself.
More folks are cured this way than
emmy other '-'i-t fadi
1t aint much trouble tew doktor sick
folks, but tew. doktor the well ones il
bOthersum. 5sgIl s1FQ k-s
If / wuz a lawyer. / would quit tIis
bizzness the fust good chance got. 'iff;i
= LII wuz minister, and had tew
preach the Gospel tew mi people, whoze
religion, nine-tenths oV them, Waz the
result ov their fears, and who want
willing tew give me but four hundred
and iifty dollars year, (half store paw,
and the rest after harvest,) should re-
sign my charge, aud enter that field az
a missionary. .s.ueii-1 y'.al. 5.ir i7i-'
- ENoCH.-rhaIe liz nothing more
wuss, tew young man, Just commence
ing tew slide down the hill ov life, than
too much inkreduiity. riaacI
1t liz better tew learn wisdnm by ex-
perience than by precept; there liz. CRATE
risk in being wize before our time. zcel
q. Wheni see a young man who IL sus-
piciOus 0v everything he sees, think
he wants more watching than one Whol
aint afraid ov nothing. ... ,sgfil
Suspicion amt apt tew make man
wize, but it has made sum dredful kun
ming kritters. f ..ss'.c,fr
LUTHER. liz 2 things in this
world pesky hard to do, and suit your
customers. one liz keeping sdistriktt |
skool, and the other IL being mother
in-laW. E7ial .--. = s1iasl-
3: Emmy man, or woman, who kan I
keep distriekt skool, and give gem
eral satisfaction, amt good for nOth-1
ing. l1s5 fs1 itfla1t,i ~ 4
A good distrikt schoolmaster il like
an undertaken, dreaded bi every body. /
1t takes small woman to be sue-t
cesSful mother-in-laW. ..l-s-ss. -
1 don't think, from what kan larn,
that thissiz good year for mothers-in-
law; hear a good deal ov komplaint
about them. - sae .f75i1tui .a7
There liz only one way tew suckceed
in the mOther-in law Dizziness, and that
IL don't run after yure children, but
keep back, and let them hunt for yu.
Good mothers-in-law dom liY mnteh
nearer than 10 miles Ov their children
and alwus let the children do the heft
lv the visitin. lalt5al aai -7gt
MARK-Yu say yu are about tew be-
yin life, and want tew begin right, and
yu ask ne how tew do it. Fts
First, as tew yuFe religion, mi advice
z, that yu adopt leetle to time. ie'.
Commence with this, "do unto others
" yu would hav them do unto yu."
After yu hav got this well larnt, I
will Civ yu anuther dose.
The CRATE trouble with nu beginners
z, they undertake to raize more relig-
on than they can lift, and the konse-
Iuentz is, they git discouraged and
oze their grip. p d
Too much religion is the wust thing !
a the world to lift. .f 5G Ie
Az for the Dizziness yu intend to fol-
er, any that IL honest liz honorabel; but
wouldn't be u hoss jockey, for don't
,are how Plus man il, swoppingl !:
losses will make him kareless. fia l
In reference to Citing married, hav
ot but one rule for that, which don't
'ary, "ha,7y Kt0lg, and marry far :
1U." -5 s.,.r..,. f.i... ~ H.
This will win seven times out 0Y ten, !
nd the other three times are respecta. :
lie blunders to make.-EN. Y Weekly.