Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-10-31

hold one of those posts of dignity and
emolument where the least of his funny
sayings is couched upon paper to be
transmitted TO posterity.
The Judge who loves his joke and the
| Magistrate who loves his joke are both
| types we venerate and cherish. Who has
not taken up his journal and dwelt with
| emotion on the report Of the trial where
| the Judge has kept his hearers in hts dur
| ing whole summers day by succession
! of irresistible pleasanlriesS And the
| Magistrate who loves his jokel Is there
ANYTHING comparable to the scene in
| police court when the cheerful stipendi-
| airy has got out of bed the right side and
| comes down brisk and fresh to his days
work? There is in attendance man
who has been bitten by his neighbours
| dog, and wants to see the quadruped
dealt with according to law. 1t is d real
| treat then to watch the face of the mags-
| trate as he throws out the wcli.rellshed
Joke, "And what can | do for you? Do
| you want me TO bite the dOg?" AT this
the Clerk Of the court becomes epileptic
and holds his sides, the public shake with
mlrth the policemen scream and have to
cling to each other to keep themselves
| from falling. The only person who does
| not show himself becomingly delighted il
| the man who has been bitten.
| The joker is always excellent in can
! yassing; excellent again at the nOmlna-
! tions, where he displays peculiar talent
| for Sinking unpleasant questions The
| cross grained clectOr who has drawn up
! political catechism, divided into separate
! queries with hundred and one points of
| Interrogation, is reduced to naught as
soon as he opens his mouth, and the Joker
usually sails in without being weighted
with anything unpleasant in the shape OF
compromising pledges. In the House his
work is easy and sure to be profitable.
He badgers the Ministers, pulls the
speeches of the Treasury bench to pieces,
sets the whole House quaking with laugh
ter, and ends by rendering himself SO for
midable that ut the first convenient OPP
portunity he is offered Colonial Govern
| urship to get him out of the way, or APP
| pointed 10 a seat in the Cabinet SO thar
| he may put his talents at the service Of
| the Ministry. For the functions Of mem
! bers Of the Government such d man is in
valuable indeed a Cabinet which does
not possess a Minister fond of his joke is
a Cabinet only halt-armcd. There is none
| but right honorable joker who can act
as lightning conductor, and divert into
pleasant channels the bolts which even
the best of Cabinets have launched at
them. Has anything gone wrong2 Have
Il few hundred British subjects been
massacred somewhere? Has some bran
new new ship that was relied on to do
wonders fOundcrcd unaccountaby on
| its first voyage? Up rises the Minister
who loves his joke, and the matter is
| explained brctZly and Chcerfully
to the satisfaction Of everybody 1t is the
same with the Bishop who loves his joke;
| there is much popularity in store for u
divine so gifted. If a Bishop be gloomy
in his speech and no friend to mrth, he
inevitably falls foul Of Dssentcrs, black
ems reams of foolscap, publishes rotuta-
| tions by the hundred weight, and gets
himself into hot water up to the neck.
The Joking Bishop knows trick worth
| two of that, The greatest length he con
sents to 20 is the short epigrammatic let
ter to the papers, slightly spiced with a
quotation from Horace. If this fails,
there is the lively anecdotal speech at the
May meetings; and it is very strange, in
deed, if, after this, the public do not take
the part OF His LoIdship, and make sport
Of the Disscntcrs. On the whole, it
should perhaps be said that the man who
| loves his iokc--Judge, Magistrate, Min
lister. NJ F., or Bishops perhaps the
most pleasant Of social stumhling,hlocks
True, his province is often to bamboozle
one and to throw one OIL the track one is
following But never mind there are
stumblingbloCks over which one falls
with Il groan and q muttered impreca.
ton there are others which simply
throw one over into the dust and make