The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-08-01
Practical Joke on Horace Greeley.

brated by dinner in the Metropolitan Hotel.
Many old New York merchants, who had been
farmers and country mechanics in their boy
hood days, were among the guests One of the
latter was Horace Greeley, who occupied q seat
near the presiding officer. Many Of the old
merchants appeared with old steel watch-guards
and .antiquated swallow-coats. Mr.. Greeley
wore his usual claw-hammer. The merchants
did not understand the French bill of fare,
and without waiting for the regular course,
many of them ordered the walters to bring up
beef-steak Mr.. Greeley followed suit When
the wine was brought on, majority OF the
company drank freely. Mr.. Greeley placed
his hand over his glass and refused to accept
wine, saying that be drank only water.
felt { m much % chagrined ed at Mr.. Greeleys action.
He went to him and said "Now, look here,
Horace, this is not treating your old neighbor
right You and have been farmers for years
together. You have borrowed my harrow, and
I have borrowed your plow. When l wanted
a scythe, I went to your place and borrowed it.
If you run out of corn, my barn was always
open to you Here it is the first time that you
have ever been in my house, and | think that
neighborly feeling ought to require that you
should take little something and not drink
cold water"
'sNow, Warren" answered Mr.. Greeley,
"theres no use of talking, 1 never drank a
drop of spirituous liquors since signed the
pledge in 1922, and l shall never drink drop.
if I we're going to drink glass of rum, I'd
Just as soon drink with you as any other man.
But can't do it; now go away and let me
alone"
Warren grew red in the face. "Mr. Gree
ley," he said, "this is not treating me right.
Here have kept hotel in New York city for
nearly twenty years, and the first time you
come into it you refuse to drink my health"
"No I DON'T" replied Horace; II will drink
your health with great pleasure" raising his
glass of water.
'tNot in water" answered Warren; "that is
not the fluid to drink mans health in. in
sist that you shall let me mix you drink. l
will mix it with my own hands. / can assure
you that no man in New York understands
mixing drinks better than I do"
Mr.. Greeley laughed and shook his head.
Warren redoubled his pleading so earnestly,
that at last Horace said: "Well, Warren, you
can go down stairs and mix me up a lemonade;
that's the best I can do for you, and don't
think you ought to ask me any more. Now 60
away and let me alone"
Warren went down stairs. He mixed up the
most delicious lemonade ever concocted in the
Metropolitan Hotel. He took glass nearly
as large as weiss beer glass. He filled it
with ice, with sugar, with peppermint, with a
big piece of pineapple, bit of orange, with
slices of lemon, some tansy, Stoughton bitters,
and, last of all, about two tablespoonful of
Sazarac brandy. Then he stuck two straws into
it and took the lemonade to Horace
"What are those for, Warren?" asked Mr..
Greeley, pulling the straws out of the glass and
fourishing them in Warren's face.
"Why, that's the fashionable way of drink
ing Lemonade" Warren replied. "Did you
never suck cider with straw out of bung-
hole when boy"
eyes," replied Horace, "but this is not cider,
and don't see any bung hole. prefer the
old fashioned way of drinking lemonade" and
he pulled the two straws out of the glass and
dropped them into his hat, which was on the
table at his side.
Then Horace drank the lemonade. A pleas
ant expression stole over his countenance. He
stopped when halfway through, and said: =.
dwell, Warren, this is great lemonade. This
is good lemonade. 1 never tasted any better.
You certainly have remarkable faculty for
mixing lemonade"
Warren puckered up his mouth like rat
hole, and gave vent to one of his heavy laughs.
There was more vim than sound in Warren's
laugh. Mr. Greeley finished his lemonade
After it had disappeared, strange light began
to caper in Horace's eyes. He talked, more
freely than usual. His sayings were spiced
with quaint oddities. He talked of plows,
coulters and martingales, then of breeching-
straps and Yankee scythe-naths, of new jumped
axes, saw-bucks and patent corn-shellers, OF
old g-drums, and of the thousand and one
things connected with farming.
1t was one of the most interesting conversa-
tions that was ever held in the Metropolitan
Hotel Warren drank in Horace's words of
wisdom after Horace had drunk Warrens lem
onade.
In few moments Horace said: "Warren,
would like another lemonade, but don't take
the trouble to 60 down stairs and mix it your
self, let one of the walters bring it." Warren
fired up in an instant. He said he could be
guilty of no such act of discourtesy to an old
friend. He insisted upon going himself, and
he went The second lemonade was mixed
like the first, with the exception that Warren
chucked IN three table-spoonsful of Sazarac
brandy instead of two. Horace took the tum-
old child. "Warren," he said, "this lemonade
is even better than the other one You are
great man, Warren, and you know how to
keep hotel; your art of mixing lemonade is
unsurpassed"
Horace drained the glass; He put it down,
and looked as though he was sorry he had got
through it so quick. The merry twinkle in his
eye increased. His talk famed with wit
Those who were fortunate enough to be seated
near him roarcd with laughter. They were
filled with wine, and Horace was filled with
lemonade. Lemonade was productive of more
wit than wine 1t was great temperance lee
ture, though none of them so regarded it. :,
The company broke up at late hour, and
though Horace took not a drop of the hundred
bottles of wine which disappeared on that
night he went home the most intoxicated man
in the whole party.
Col. FoRNEY's VIEws-GREELEY WILL
MAKE A GOOD PREsIDENT.-I was conversing
to-day on a railway train with personal friend
of Col. John w. Forney, q well-known rail-