Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1872-01-17

MARK TWAIN.
"REMINISCENCES OF SOME UNCOMMON
CHARACTERS THAT ] HAVE CHANGED TO
MEET'-ARTEMUs WARD.

Despite the inclement weather an inn
mense audience assembled last evening, at
the Academy of Music, to hear Mark
Twain deliver his new and peculially de-
licious lecture, entitled "reminiscences of
some uncommonplace characters that
have CHANGED to meet.n Not only was
every available seat-clear up to Paradise
occupied, but benches and chairs placed
upon the stage gave accommodation to
more than hundred enthusiastic individ-
uals, who had consented to adopt the
theatrical profession, and "appear upon
the boards" for the sake of hearing the
great lecturer. AS usual, the music for
the evening, 1.-The Skylark," Benedict,
was sung by Mrs. Kelleher, accompanied
on the piano by Mr.. Pearce, and was ex-
cellent. As an encore the talented song
stress gave very effective rendering OF
"Charlie is me Darlin."
AT the conclusion of the singing, the lee
turer appeared, being greeted with rounds
of applause. Mr.. Clements stood quite
still for few moments, gazing yacantly
around the house. much as if he expected
to see long-lost grandmother amidst the
audience. Apparently not finding the an
cient relative, he coughed modestly. and
said IN nasal voice which from its twang
was of itself amusing:
Ladies and gentlemen ask leave to in
troduce to you the lecturer OF the evening,
MIR. Samuel b. Clements, otherwise known
as "Alark Twain" a gentleman, may say,
whose devotion to science, aptness in phi
losophy, historical accuracy. and love Of
truth laughter] are in perfect harmony
with his majestic and imposing presence.
-refer-ah-indirectly to- to my
self! [Shouts of laughter and applause
1t is not, know, customary to introduce
a lecturer after having the amount of ad-
vertising that have had but as the man.
agement desired that the introduction
should be made, preferred making it
myself, being sure by this means of get
ting in all the facts : Laughter.1 =
My lecture is about Artemus Ward.
When first started out on this missionary
tour it was my intention to touch in my
lecture upon a number of the other un-
commonplace characters that have met
Bunyan. Martin Luther, Milton, and few
others; but find that to mention all these
old fellows, the companions of my childish
hours, takes great deal too much time,
and, therefore, l eonfine myself to the sim
gle great man whom have named.
1t is my purpose to show that Artemus
Ward was Americas greatest humorist,
and l will give you skeleton outline-I
have not time for more-of his life. In
this outline shall not load you down with
historic facts to such an extent that you will
be unable to get home, nor will even
make for you any of my philosophical de-
ductions. This last promise is, on my
part sacrifice, for l admire my philo-
sophical deductions as admire few other
things on earth. Strange as it may seem,
| have always found that the effect pro-
duced by them upon an audience was that
ofintense and utter evaporation! Laugh
ter
Artemus Wards real name, as most of
you are probably aware, was Charles F.
Brown. He was born in Waterford,
Maine. in 1884. His personal appearance
was not like that of most Maine men. He
looked like gloye-stretcher. His hair.
red, and brushed we'll forward at the
sides, reminded one of divided flame. His
nose rambled agressively on before, with
all the strength and determination Of a
cowcatcher, while his red moustache-to
follow out the simile-seemed not unlike
the unfortunate cow.
He was of Puritan descent, and prided
himself not Il little on being derived from
that stern old stock of people. who had
left their country and home for the sake
of having freedom on foreign shore to
enjoy their own religion, and, at the same
time, to prevent other folks from enjoying
theirs. Laughter.]
l don't know whether it is reasonable
to speak in this way about those reverend
old chaps, the Pilgrim Fathers. am
psrrsf E,t tha,. la
scended from one. One of my ancestors
cut conspicuous figure in the ''Boston
Massacre" fighting first on one side then on
the other. He wasn't Il man to stand foolin'
around while massacre was goin' on.
Why, to hear our family talk you'd think
that not man named anything but Twain
was in that massacre-and when you
came to hear all about it you'd wish that
such was the case. [Laughter.l Then
had another ancestor in the battle Of
Bunker Hill. He was everything, that
ancestor of mine was-killed, wounded,
and missing. He was prompt, business
like fellow, and to make sure of being the
last of the three, he did it first Of all-did
it well, too, before shot was fired.
daughter
Why, could stand here for week and
tell you of my distinguished ancestors, and
| think I'll do it. On second thoughts l
think wont, but go back to my subject.
Ward never had any regular schooling ;
he was too poor to afford it for one thing.
and too lazy TO care for it for another. He
had an intense ingrained dislike of work
of any kind he even objected to see other
people work, and on one occasion went 50
far as to submit to the authorities of cer-
tain town an invention to run tread mill
by steam. Such motion could not have
originated with a hard-hearted man.
Ward was a dutiful son, and his first act,
when money began to come in on him
from his lectures, was to free from incum-
brahce the old homestead in his native
town and settle it upon his aged mother.
His first literary attainments was at
type-setting in the office OF the old Bos-
ton Carpet Bagger, and for that he wrote
his first squib. He tried every branch Of
"a, =