The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-05-13
RECIPROCAL THEFT.
Sarcastic and Humorous Speech OF $. 8.
Cox In Congress.

Sarcastic and Humorous Speech OF s. 8.
Cox I'm Congress.
WASHINGTON, May IL, 1872.
Discussions on the Tariff and Tax bills in Con-
gress usually OF the most uninteresting char
acter, but the speech OF s. 8. Cox In the House on
Wednesday last was exceedingly lively. Members
of Congress and politicians here still talking OF
it; and, as 1t undoubtedly claims attention as a
clever act of Congressional opera b0,lGe, forward
1t for publications.
the gentleman from Massachusetts, Ndr. Butler) in
regard to making salt partly free. should like
House standing near Mr.. Dawes. because my side
OF the House Is somewhat demOralized on the tar1n
Qanghingl-judging from some Of the votes given on
were made yesterday. They 90 far to disturb some
OF my principles, If not control my vote. gentle
man from Pennsylvania (Mr: Grimth) appealed to
my friend from Indiana Mr. Kerr not to oppose the
coal tax, because he was born above coal forma-
ton Naughter)-in Pennsylvania and his playmates
ien Twas born near the salt wells OF the beautiful
Muskingum, In Ohio. Before that stream had slack
water before 1t was considered hardly worth
dam-Qaughter) banks spouted salt water ike
a Massachusetts, member OF Congress. 1t was
personal to the gallant member from Massachusetts,
(Mr. Banks)-I mean the salt water, not the banks.
aughter) Around the wells ana Kettles o. my
native river cluster those sweet saline associations
which have preserved me ever young! Iney are
hard to resist. Another argument has still more
force. The gentleman from Maryland Mr. Ritchiel
begged us not to throttle the infantie coal interests
of his beloved Cumberland; Q'aughterl Although
that unhealthy baby has been osterea ny ~
I ought Ought to say by a maternal government
on milk langhtena,or 50 many years years
power. U.aughter.) These are statistics. laugh
ter.) Yet, with rare economic genius, followed BY
the eloquent fiscal member from the Kanawha salt
works he appealed to us to let him steal so long as
other sections stole from him. Was there ever such
an Illustration as that Just made on the gentleman
from Massachusetts (Mr. Butler) The gentleman
from Missouri (Mr. Finkenburg wanted to be so
honest as to help the people to Keep pork by cheap
Butler) wants to cheat the Treasury by free
salt for Goldfish. This is all larceny. laughterl
What could be more reasonable or ethical Let us
be to each other Instruments OF reciprocal rapine
Q4aughter.) Michigan steals on copper; Maine on
lumber; PENNSYLVANIA on iron; North Carolina on
fcut hair pins; New Jersey on spool tmead; Lou
isiana on sugar, aud SO on. Why not let the gen
temen rom MARYLAND steal on &C. con- n IRON a1e
comes out OF the body OF the peoples true, 1t tends
to high prices, but does not stealing encourage in
dustrys Let us as moralists, If not as politicians
rcwrite the eighth commandment-"Ihou shalt
steal because stealing is right when common
As am rsrresent an OF mn NeW o YORK o ana
artisan, evaporates SALT ought not also to
steal to help Onondagas Stealing by tariffs, Mr..
art. If everybody stole IRON everybody, Is there
any reproach to anybody Q.aughter) II every
body is burglar Is there any need for anybody
West send their ores to Wales to be SO refined as
to get more wealth II ought to be stopped Let
piller something out of somebody elsc's earnings
and build works In Colorado and Nevada
ike those in ~, wss How y, happy e
moved from the Pacific, and from the gentleman
nom California Mr. sargenn. gaushterlrby "a a
we should be when we can look each other in the
face here clasp hands, as now look into the face
Of the gentleman from Massachusetts tMr: Dawes
stolen from me, and l from you let US love one
another" Great laughter) Then the little un-
protected pigs who arc crowded by the big pigs,
quietly eating out OF the trough, will squeal no
more to be let in Qaughter) for on this Idea all
shall be fed by swallowing each others food; and
when all are fed no one loses, and we shall be
happy. This principle cOmmends itself to the gen.
tleman from Massachusetts (Mr. Banksl who
my heart. 1t has so much moderation and wisdom:
1t has no nonsense, no doctrine in It, 1t Is based
ceny. He would not steal as much as others, but
to steal into good company-he would steal less
There is, then not so much motive for detection
it. He would steal sixty per cent less than others
say on coal. But whether petit or grand grand
ss an re at
swag william Sykes becomes as honorable
the % poSg the sn
(Laughter.) And even oliver Twist, like myself
could task for more" without affecting the limo
more statistics and subside. Qaughter) How
beautifully this thought ia Illustrated by the well
laid breakfast table OF my colleague (Mr. Brooksl
The happy family gathers around It,; grace is said
God s asked to protect us" In our joint and seye
raj efforts to steal One guest pockets the knives
and forks another the salt and saltcellar another
the cream Jug, plates and sugar bowl;
another the cloth, another the bread, another
the potatoes, another the plated ware, another
the mutton chop; brawny Robert Macaire
from down East lifts out the table, while sly Jean
jacques, to encourage domestic cookery slips into
the Kitchen puts out the fire and carries of the
stove and Goals. Q.aughter) The guests look at
each other innocently and say, "We have done all
this to increase the general comfort and to make
free with the breakfast table. Qaughter) Are
not our wolfsh appetites assuaged2 Though we
have not each general gut OF nourishment, are
we not happy Is there not left coffee unground
and unburned, and tea undistied, sweetened by
the memories OF sugar upon an absent cloth and
covering an invisible tableY' l was about to pro-
duce some more statistics. They so powerful
here. Will ask leave to PRINT 1000 copies of this
speech at the expense OF the Industrial League
OF Philadelphia, to which l hear no objection
Uaughter.)