The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1872-07-12


down to despair. am dying, and l
thank God for this assurance ; foriit
Will be easier ID receive the full dam
nation l deserve than to be followed
by his face for years to come-peer-
ing at me from the inky skies, or
cleaning up from the shuddering
sea. l would rather my secret shoul1
sink with me into the sea, but [ am
forced to tell it, and the confess. on
of my crime to you fills to the brim
my cup of earthly punishmen AMI
woe. I have loved you as a brother
better than most brothers love each
other-and 1 know that I must des-
troy whatever love or respect you
may have felt for me. Henceforth
you are to know me as a eOwardly.
sneaking, red-hauded murderer. As
sociating as neighbors, classm ates,
and companions in arms, you know
my whole history no to the fatal day.
You know 1 loved your sister, but
you could not know the depth of that
love. She was your sister - and my
hfe But 1 need not dwell upon this.
I was refused +; LIE Mar was accepted.
In those few words are summed up a
lifetime of misery and crime, and
an eternity-of what? I shall soon
know. When the war broke out, I
was glad for the opportunity to rush
into it's excitement, and try to forget
the past. When we met in Jackson
vile, in 1864, I did not wish you to
know that even scar remained of
the old wound. You remember, ]
had been ordered to the command
of Company 3, which was sent up
the river o1 scouting expedition.
Was it fate, that, when stepped up
on the deck of the Maple Leaf, 1
should see for the first time in years
Charles LIE Mar, the afianced hus-
band Of the woman loved He
commanded the gun-boat, aud, al
though weak from an attack of lever,
and crutch under his right arm, he
limped forward and greeted me with
that grand court esy for which he was
so well known: The very sight of
him set my blood on 6re-made me
mad with jealous rage-but I crush
ed it back. and merely repelled his
friendly advances with an icy civility
I saw but little of him during the
trip. His fever increased, his wound
became very painful, and, after the
first day or two, he remained in III
stateroom. We were successful
our expedition, reaching Palatka
without accident, although our rr,
gress was slow, because of our
slight knowledge of the channel, and
the reports we had heard befor.
starting to the effect that numbers Of
torpedoes had been pl ccd in the riy-
er for the benit of enterprisirg Yam
KEGS moving in that direction. Hay
ing accomplished the object Of cur
reconnaissance, we started to return.
The perfect loveliness of the day
made such an impression u; on me
that, if 1 were to live a thousand
years, the memory of it would never
fade away. My pain was forgotten
was happy-peacefully, thOuroUgd
ly happy. Night swooped down up
on us suddenly, as it always does Ia
Florida, and through the darkness
there was waited to us a stray breath
from the salt sea the stars culver
ed in the dark dome above and
twinkled to The water beneath us.
Z ght bells struck, and ] went be-
low Hardly had [ reached my state
room, when, above the steady thump.
thump, of the machinery there was
heard a slight noise, as though we
had grated againt some obstacle; this
was in t2ntly followed by heavy ex-
plosion. The bow of the steamer
was lifted out of the wa er, quickly
falling back again, amid the crashing
of timbers, the hiss of escaping steam
and, above all, the cries end groans
of the wounded. Half stunnedeI
to rise from the floor upon
which [ had been violently thrown,
and tried to stagger through the
mass of debris by which I was sur
rounded. I heard the boats llWerei,
the shouts of officers, and the men
on deck to escape from the
fast settling steamer. just then l
heard lie Mars weak trem bling voice
family calling for help. Why did I
hesitate? I had but to open the
door upon which my unsteady hand
rested; 1 could easily save him Push
ing open the door, I saw b IN sitting
upright in his berth, vainly trying to
steady himself against the lurchihg
of the boat as she settled still lower.
"Ab, Severance, I thought I had been
deserted; quick, give me a lift, old
fellow Give him q hftl I could
as easily have called together the bits
Of wood already floating down the
river and made of them asound boat
again, as to have given him a lift.
All the hatred and mad0ening jeal-
ously I had ever felt for the nan were
at that moment, and boz
ed and seethed IN my heart and brain
until l was concioUs only ola develish
desire that he might die, there and
then-ay, and that be should die.
l no longer saw a sick brother
pleading with me for his life; / saw
only the man l hated-tho man who
had stolen the love that should have
been mine. I heard the voices of thu
men above asking If all were ia the
boats; felt the water creeping around
my knees; saw lie Mars eyes CLEAN
ing with horror as he struggled from
his berth aud shouted, For Gods
sake help me, Severance; you cannot
mean TO let me die p "'You lie, >" 1
shrisked; "you shall die-die, ike a
rat, In your hole, and with a curse
on my lips, I spraDg for yard and
struck a blow that knocked him sense
less. In another second I was on