Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-02-14
THE TWO TROMBONES.
From London Society.

Mr.. Whlff1es-the respected parent
of our hero, Mr.. Adolphus Whites
was an opulent Berkshire farmer, who,
before retiring from his business and
leaving it to his son, fancied a visit to
the great metropolis would have the
effect of sharpening the wits of that
youth, an operation of which that young
gentleman stood greatly in need. The
son jumped at the idea, especially when
he learned that he was to set forth on
his travels alone. With the parental
blessing and his purse well filed, Mr.
Whites, junior, duly arrived in Lon
don and installed himself in economi-
cal quarters in Savoy street, Strand.
The theaters, of course, occupied a
large share of Mr.. Whiff1es's attention
during his stay in London, and the
neighborhood of stage doors afforded
him vast amount of satisfaction.
The sight of professionals in their
every day costume was to him source
of great qualification and his delight
when he made the acquaintance of a
prominent member Of the ochestra of
the Royal Dash Theater, exceeded all
bounds. He vowed eternal friendship
ratified the agreement by entertaining
his new acquaintance at a recherche
supper at the Albion. Our story opens
when Mr.. Whifies and his companion
Mr.. O'Leary By name-had been al
most inseparable Tor the space of six
weeks. With pain Mr.. Whites had
lately observed an expression of settled
melancholyupon Mr.. O'Leary's express
i've countenance, and had resolutely de-
termined to divine the cause
"You are i'll 2" said our hero, one
evening, after they had supped at the
hostlery above mentioned, and were
quafing various "whiskys hot" to pro-
mote digestion.
Mr.. O'Leary sighed, shook his head
sadly, and emptied his glass by way of
reply:
"Your supper has disagreed with
you-you have eaten too much" con-
tinued Mr.. Whites, tenderly.
''It isn't the supper that worries me, ~
observed his companion; " it's the SUBJ
stltute."
This mysterious answer, puzzled Mr..
Whiff1es. He thought it over serious
ly, then gave it up in dispair and de-
manded an explanation. Mr.. O'Leary
vigorously puffed at his cigar and pro.
ceeded to enhghten Mr.. Whiffies.
1t appeared from Mr. O'Leary's ac-
count that it was customary in the
Royal Dash theatre forthe management
to allow various members of the orches-
ira to absent themselves from time to
time from their posts in order to attend
concerts or other entertainments, on
the condition that they provided eff
cient substitutes to fulfill their ordinary
duties. As a rule, these substitutes
were hard to find, but Mr.. OF Ileary con-
fessed, with tears in his eyes, that al
though he searched high and low, for
some unaccountable reason he could
find no one able or willing to supply
his place at the theatre while he was
absent to fulfill most profitable en-
gagement he had accepted to play at a
fashionable West End concert the en-
SUNG evening. Without moments
hesitation Mr. Whiff1es threw himself
into the breach and proffered his ser
vices.
"Stuffl" replied Mr.. O'Leary
rudely, "what do you know about
music 2"
Mr. Whites couldn't tell. He was
quite certain of what he didn't know,
but that he refrained from mentioning.
There was painful pause. Mr.. OLeary
smoked silently on for some time, now
and then darting searching glance
upon the anxious face of Mr.. Whiffles,
as if he was revolving some great
scheme in the innermost recesses OF
his own mind, but as yet scarcely saw
the manner in which it could be carried
out. Suddenly:
II have it. Thanks, Whiffles, my
boy. | accept your generous offer.
You shall be my substitute" said Mr..
O'Leary
To say that Mr.. Whiff1es was deligted
would not .feebly express the state of
his mind. He grasped Mr.. O'Leary's
hand and shook it fervently. He trem
bled already with excitement. His
proudest hopes were about to be real
lied. He would be admitted behind
the scenes of q theatre. Words failed
to convey any idea of his feelings, as he
pointed out there were two trombone
players in the orchestra of the Royal
Dash Theatre, he himself being one.
and that for the especial guidance of
Mr.. WHITES he would summarIly state
the case as follows, presuming that
after the rising of the curtain on the