The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-09-27
PLAIN DEALER,

viz SoSh'
A little girl was heard to wish, the
other day. that she was boy" so she
could swear when she dropped her
books in the mud"
A sufferer" at one of the hotels,
says: 1.-The flies come down to breakfast
at the sound of the gong"
A sailor, looking serious in a chapel
in Boston, was asked by the clergyman
if he felt any change; whereupon the
tar put his hand into his pocket, and
replied, mot cent?
An exchange says california calls
loudly for corks.' In most Of the other
States the loudest call is for corkscrews.
Base ball is ofmuch more antiquity
than is supposed. 1t was played in
the Ark when the dove was ''put out on
a fly"
What place would this planet be to
live on, ifeverybody gave that attention
to the correction of his own faults, which
is now so generously bestowed upon
those of others.
1.-The whole thing has gone to the
devil" said a gentleman of some unfor-
tunate speculation. "Never mind, g
said Jerrold, you'll get it back when
you die
A boy eight years old, in one of our
public schools, having been told that a
reptile sis an animal that creeps," on
being asked to name one, On examina-
ton day, promptly and triumphantly
replied, ga baby"
(Which, madame, do you think the
merriest place in the universe?' THAT
Immediately above the atmosphere that
surrounds the earth, should think. ,"
"And why 500" because l am told
hat there all bodies lose thei r gravity"
Chicago's oldest pioneer settler is
dead. His name was Archibald ely
bourne, and he became a resident OF
Chicago in 1922, when it was Fort Dear
born Gurdon S, Hubbard is now the
oldest of Chicago's surviving settlers.
A man ran through Detroit Thursday
that he was looking for "the
road to heaven" The crowed called him
crazy for looking for it in Detroit.
The Sioux are very observant. One
of spotted Tails followers, who speaks a
little English, seeing one of the servant
girls of the hotel take off her chignon,
exclaimed: ugh! White woman raise
her own sclap! Indian no good here!!''
"Would you take the last cent a man
had for glass of soda" asked a smart
youth. Eyes" responded the unthinking
whereupon hopeful pulled
out the cent and got the drink. -
A "sweet'' girl graduate ola Mass
achusetts school, recently told an ex-
lminer that "Esop was the author of
Latin fables, coverd with hair, and
;old his birthright for mess Of potash.
Halibut weighing 100 pounds are
caught at Santa Cruz, California;
Virginia Chronicle.
Santa Cruz, is great place for
suckers" some have been seen
here weighing about 200 pounds.
Brigadier General w. S. Walker,
# the Confederate army, is candidate
or the Office of tax-collector in Georgia.
"When l see Irish and Dutch taking
art in politics, | regret that ever
'olled ballot" wrote John A. Logan,
tx months ago.
The intelligent dog owners of Chicago
ue the city when their pets die in the
What is left to a man in
his life when he is deprived of the
means of annoying his ncighbors and
ropagating feas? Let the good work
% on.
Colonial John r. Popham, whose
ame was on the Grant electoral ticket
n Virginia, will have nothing to do
nth it, and will run as an Independent
andidate for Congress, with the SUI
crt of the Greeleyits.
KNocKING RELIGION INTO THEN.
An old agricultural laborer in Eng
and tried a singular method Of evan
elizing his family. Being remonstrat-
d with by the pastor for not "bring-
ng up his boys as he should, hereplied,
i dunno ow tbs, sir; / order'em down
o pray every night and mornin', and
'hen they won't go down, I knock EN-
[own--and yet they amt good.'
THE Position Or JOHN G. SAKE.
-'It is now said that John G.. SAKE
las come out for Grant
This extract, clipped from the Boston
Journal, was recently sent to the poet
y MIR. Jacob w. SAKE, of New Ham,
shire, with note of enquiry as to its
ruth. The following fithy response
vas received: "My DEAR Cousin
Fret not thyself because of-fools