Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-06-21
A NEVADA FUNERAL,

A NEVADA FUNEkALs
There was great time over Buck
Fanshaw when he died. He was a rep.
resentative citizen. He had "killed his
man"-not in his own quarrel, it is
true, but in the defense of stranger
beset by numbers. He had kept a
sumptuous saloon. He had been the
proprietor of dashing helpmeet, whom
he could have discarded without ne
formality Of divorce. He had held a
high position in the fire department,
and had been very Warwick in poll
tics. When he died there was a great
lamentation throughout the town, but
especially in the vast bottom stratum of
society. ....... --
On the inquest it was shown that Buck
Fanshaw, in the delirium of wasting
typhoid fever, had taken arsenic, shot
himself through the body, cut his
throat, and jumped out of four-story
window and broken his neck; and,
after due deliberation, the jury, sad
and fearful, but with intelligence un-
blinded by its sorrow, brought in YER
dict of death "by the visitation of
God.' What could the world do with
out juries?
Prodigious preparations were made
for the funeral. All the vehicles in the
town were hired, all the saloons were
put in mourning, all the municipal and
fire company flags were hung at half
mast, and all the firemen ordered to
muster in uniform and bring their ma
chimes duly draped in black. s
Regretful resolutions were passed and
various committees appointed, among
others q committee of one appointed to
call on d minister-a fragile, gentle,
spiritual new hedgling from an Eastern
theological seminary, and as yet unac-
quainted with the ways of the mines.
The committee-man, "Scotty" Briggs,
made his visit.
Being admitted to his presence, he
sat down before the clergyman, placed
his fire hat on an unfinished manuscript
sermon under the minister's nose, took
from it red silk handkerchief, wiped
his brow, and heaved a sigh of dismal
impressiveness explanatory of his bust
ness. He choked and even shed tears,
but with an effort he mastered his voice,
and said, in lugubrious tones.
''Are you the duck that runs the gos-
pel-mill next door,"
81 am the-pardon me, l believe
do not understand" ....
With another sigh and half sob
Scotty rejoined:
"Why, you see, we are in bit Of
trouble, and the boys thought maybe
you'd give us a lift, if we'd tackle you !;
that is, if I've got the rights of it, and
you are the head clerk of the doxology
works next door,"
81 am the shepherd in charge of the
flock whose fold is next door,"
"The which?'
"The spiritual adviser of the little
company Of believers whose sanctuary
adjoins these premises"
Scotty scratched his head, reflected a
moment, and then said:
"You rather hold over me, pard. l
reckon can't call that hand. Ante
and pass the buck"
"How? l beg your pardon. What
did understand you to sayY' ~. /
Is" Well, you've rather got the bulge
onzm me- Or maybe we've both got the
bulge, somehow. You don't smoke me
and don't smoke you. You see, one
of the boys has passed in his checks,
and we want to give him good send
off, and SO the thing Pm now on is to
rout out somebody to. jerk little chin
music for us, and waltz him through
handsome"
"My friend, I seem to grow more and
more bewildered. Your observations
are wholly incomprehensible to me.
Cannot you simplify them some way
At first | thought perhaps understood
you, hut now, | grepe. Would it not
expedite matters II, you restricted your
self to categorical statements of fact i'm
incumbered. with obstructing accumula-
tons of metaphor and allegory?"
Another pause, and more reflection.
Then eScotty said :.au aa --sss'E Is ~}F8S
"Ill have to pass, judge" El4 aa -
"How?n aiaEsF1aas@l Ea.sI SSH 2a5aFa'
"You'ge raised me out, pard. SEQ
Il" / still fail to catch your meaning"
"Why, the last lead of yourn is too
many for me-that's the idea. 1 can't
neither trump nor follow suit"
The clergyman sank back in his chair
perplexed . Scotty leaned his head on
his hand, and gave himselfup to refec-
ton. Presently his face came up, sor-
rowful, but confident. fra wo oaf hmucE
t'"fve got it now, SOS you cavy," said
he. +" What we want is a gospel-sharp.
See?' .9j80f T9lI3gH8 : OILS II =
"a what?5af s4Y3fg9a
ga gospelsshsrpAparson - Il 1eH9IlG
b"Oh'l Why didn't you say SO before
| am o clergyman-a parson."
1"Now you talk You see my blind,
and straddle it like a man. Put it
there ~ extending a brawny paw, which
closed over the minister's small, hand
and gave it a shake indicative Of frater.
n al sympathy and fervent qualification.
5" Now we're all right, pard. Let's
start fresh. Don't you mind me snuff.
Hinn q littln locuz ,uo,ro II, O .,o.Eon ae