Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-18


saws he hears of threats to shoot him
down in the streets. But he has no fear
his life is insured
To THE GRAyE.-What a mighty pro-
cession is marching toward the grave
during each year. At the usual esti-
mate, during year, more than 80, o0o,-
900 of the worlds population 60 down
to the earth again. Place them in long
array, and they will give moving col
umn of more than thirteen hundred to
every mile of the globes circumference
Only think of it; ponder and look upon
these astounding computations What
spectacle, as they move on-tramp,
tramp tramp, forward upon this stu
pendous dead march
A ludicrous incident occurred recently
on San Francisco horse railroad. The
conductor got out to assist a particularly
stout old lady into the car over some
very deep mud. Forgetting her exceed
ing weight, she sank bodily into his
arms, and as consequence the conduct
or sat down quietly in the mud, and the
passenger fell over his head. The con-
ductor was finally obliged to go on his
way, leaving the old lady to wipe the
mud off her clothes with a pocket hand
kerchief, and breathe vengeance against
the Company
THE HEATHER CHINEE-A day or
two since, says Nevada paper, couple
of ladies who were out collecting money
for church purposes stopped at the Piute
House, Lower Gold Hill. After calling
on number of persons for contributions
they asked John the Chinese cook, to
give .tdolla.'' .What for you wantee
me give dolla ~ asked John. 1--WE want
you to give dollar to help the church"
"Dolla help church ?' cried John, open
ing his eyes; ''what matter churcha ?"
ats poor; it needs money. Can't you
give me dollar?" s.Me no sabe churcha;
me poor, too. What you call church
what him name % "Christ Church."
was the reply. mo me no give dolla,
answered John decidedly; ''me no like
Klist; Klist wantee too much money
money, money, all time money for Klist p
Nearly year ago Miss Hattie Thorn
as had the entire scalp of her head tax
en- off by the machinery of a button fac
tory in Naugatuck, Conn. Her attend
ing physician has attempted the feat of
replacing the skin by transplanting
pieces of skin from other parts of the
body and some from other persons, and
thus far with apparent success, the
wounded surface being about three-ffths
covered, and it is believed it will be en-
tirely successful.
A certain bishop repeated in his SER
mon the text, "All flesh is grass" 1t
was Lent, and few days after he en-
countered a parishioner who seemed to
have something on his mind. 1.-The top
of the mornin' to your reverence, said
Terrence, ''did l fairly understand your
reverence to say all flesh is grass, last
Sunday % ITO be sure you did" re-
piled the bishop, land you are a hereto
if you doubt it. '.Oh, divil bit do
doubt anything your reverence says"
said the willy Terrence, ''but if your riv-
erence pleases, wish to know whether
in this Lent time, | could not be afther
having small piece of BATE, by way of
salad %
A GENEROUS GIvER.-Recently lady
from the East, who crossed from the
Great Western depot to the Detroit and
Milwaukee road to go West, dropped her
pocket-book in the depot at Windsor, and
made an cntcry enough to scare every
one within block. A ragged little boy,
with his hair sticking through an old hat,
and his toes peeping out of his boots,
came forward with the pocket-book,
which he had found. 1t contained, as
the lady informed the railroad officials,
$1,000 in bonds, $1,000 in notes, and
$1,000 in greenbacks, making its cash
value to her as good as $4,000. She
was, of course, well pleased with the boys
action, and asked his name, age, the cir
cumstances of his family. and finally OPP
ened the pocket-book to reward him.
She hunted all through it, found two
ten-cent shin-plasters, and, handing them
to the lad, told him to always remember
that good action was always sure to
bring good reward. The boy jerked off
his hat, thanked her, and ran off to buy
ten cords of wood and barrel of flour,
and other stuff to last his widowed moth
er until spring. He's going to look for
pocket books all the rest of the winter,
and when he finds another, he's going to
hand it right over-probably.
A WISE CHoICE-The American Bap-
fist tells the following good story, which
we commend to our young female read
ers, and male also:
Where did you first meet your
bride % | asked young friend of mine
who had invited me to his wedding.
His reply was ga year ago | was one
of large dinner party of ladies and gen
tlemen, at which a young lady was no.
ticed to not drink any wine Our hos
observed it and said
"A glass with you, Miss !? .
Excuse me sir, said She
What excuse are you a teetotaler
What have we a teetotaler here -? Ha
ha teetotaler ? Why, do you never
drink wine %
:'Never, sir. !"
"Why not p
"From principle, sir.
Nothing more was said. Her decision
of character deeply impressed me.
sought an introduction to her, satisfied
that one of such principles would make
me good companion. became a tee
totaler myself, and now she has become
my wife. That's why married her.
Our friend was right. Such young
lady would make fine woman Woulc