The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-07-05

- HMO8E ABOUT IN MARRY
"Chamber Music"-Baby.
Fiery men are easily put out.
Labor in Woodworking i'm a coal
mine.
A mans politics are sometimes made
known by the paperS worn in bis
daughters panier.
Moderation is the siiken string run
ming through the pearl chain of all the
virtues.
A Connecticut milkman proposes to
grow cocoanuts instead of cows.
A Texas paper desired IFS cotempo-
rary "to render to scissor the things
that are scissored."
The wound of conscience is no scar
time coOls it not with his wing, but
merely keeps it open with his scythe
A new way to fight duel-let each
of the cOmbatants swallow a dose of
poison and then toss up for an emetic.
How is it storm looks heavy when
it keeps lightning? and the darker it
gets the more it Iightens?
If you don't look carefully after the
bits of your horse, you may one day
I've looking sadly after the bits of your
carriage.
A dog is counted mad when he won't
take something to drink, and man
when he takes too much.
They do not know much about fal m
ing in Hartford, and a smell Bridge
port boy has been selling them snuff
beans for flower seeds.
A New Orleans thief lately sent back
the stolen clothes of an understood cit
iZen with a note, saying that he would
wait for his victim to grow.
A man who sailed around the world
and carried Philadelphia newspaper
in his pocket, said it was the most
widely circulated journal in America.
Augusta ]. Evans writes TO the
Brooklyn Eagle te inquire "what has
become of the girls pr Most of them
probably have become too old to re-
member each other.
Judge Hoar once said of lawyer
He has reached the superlative life
at first he sought to get on, and then
he sought to get honor, and now he is
trying to get honest"
Romeo was a self made elephant
He came to this country without dol
lar i'm his pocket-had nothing i'm the
world but an empty trunk-and, al
the time of his death he was worth 81 :
600.
There liz one thing about hen that
looks like wisdum, they don't kackle
much until after they hav laid theil
egg. Sum phoIks are always brag.
ging and a hacking what they are
going to do before hand.
A New York journal, in speaking OF
the magic strains of a hand-organ
says: When he played Old Dog Tray
we noticed eleven pups sitting in front
of the machine on their launches
brushing away the tears from theil
eyes with their fore paws"
Since the San Francisco uthoriiies
have offered a premium of SO fol
every dead body recovered from the
bay, the Chronicle advises drunk ard,
and Oregon flats to give a wide berth
to the waterfront. Ten dollars, it says
may seem a small sum for murder
but times are hard and human nature
weak.
1t is related that Massachusetts
shoOl-bOy Though the story may be
told OF any other was asked by his
teacher how many commandments
there were. "Ten," was the prompt
reply. The teacher said there had
been one added, and asked him what
it was. The boy looked perplexed
scratched his head moment and then
triumphantly replied, "The Fifteenth
Amendments
A handsome young gentleman
walked into the Adams express office
the other day, and desired to express q
package of letters to lady, to whom
lie desired to return them. "What are
they worth ?n asked the clerk, who in
making out bis account desired to
know what was the risk. The young
man hesitated moment, then cleared
his throat from a certain huskiness, re-
piled: We'll, 1 can't say exactly, but a
few weeks ago 1 thought they were
worth about four hundred thousand
dollars. "-Lerington Press.