davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-04-26

a husband, two years after marriage hg's
upon his improved personal appearance.
but said: ut seems to me you have
grown smaller mo wonder" was the
reply; lever since saw You have bSn
coming down handsomely"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-04-26
HUMOROUS.

Ieachef-tO .precOclOus pupil" O
will observe that Italy, which you sc
traced on the map here, Is almost cxactl
the shape of boot" prccOcious pnp
; -"Yes, so 1t is, and when go to Flu
rope Ill put my foot in it."
"NOw my boy" said n committee man
''if ! had a mince pie and should give two
twelfths to Isaac, two-twelftlls to Harry
and two twelfths to John, and should tax
half the pie myself, what would there b
left? Speak up loud-loud, SO that tin
people can hear you" "The plate =
shouted the boy.
Thiers to Plus TX: Please take YOU
NunciO home.
| Plus to Thiers: Why does France
also, repudiate the pledges of the centu:.
ies?
Thiers to Plus (wiping his eye with hi,
coat sleeve): I'm awful eOrry, but cam
help it. Bismarck says must senJ hin
of.
Plus to Thicrs: Obedience is a grca,
virtue. A servant should obey his mas
ter. (Eseuutonnes, Bismarck snicker.
ing.)
"Madam," said husband to his wis,
i'm little alteration, which will some.
times spring up with the best of fami,-
les, when a man and his wife have
quarrcllcd and each considers the other
at fault, which of the two ought to be the
first to advance towards a reconciliation
"The best-naturcd- and wiscst Of the
twO?' said the wife, putting up her rosy
mouth for kiss. which was given with
JUNCTION. She had conquered.
A man not over and above familiar with
| the dark ways of telegraphing. went into
one Ofthe telegraph Offices in Bristol with
| dispatch, which he insisted on having
sent off Immediately. The operator ac-
cOmmodatcd him, and then hung the dis
patch on hook. The man hung around
some time, evidently unsatisfied. At Last
his patience was exhausted, and Inc bclche,l
out: Amt you going to send that dis
patch?" The operator politely Informed
him that he had sent It. 'NO yer amt"
replied the indignant man; there it is now
on the hook IS,
A friend of ours has two boys, aged re-
spectively six and eight years. The young
est was partaking pretty largely of the
good things of this life ut the dinner ta-
bic, Immediately on their return from
Sabbath school. The elder. after eyeing
his brother some time, said: "Charlic, Il
you were to eat much m"rN. ard it should
kill you, you would weigh 20 much that
the angels could not carry you to heav-
en-" Little six years old hesitatcsl a mo-
ment, and then looking up, replied: ut
they couldn't do it alone, God would send
Samson down to help them"
From the Cciored Hymnal OF South Carolina.
'NEARER Ny GOD To THEEi"
owes I've nearer 10 de Lord
Den de white folks, sand dcy knows u;
See lie glory gate unbsrIeti-
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-04-26
A Famous Old Town,

Santa Fe is some seven thousand feet
above the level Of the sea, q mild and
healthy climate; being the capital, the
English language is chiefly spoken, yet
much of the business and conversation Is
carried OH i'm the Spanish language, and In
most of the other towns and villages, AMI
in the country generally, the Spanish Ian
gliage is the only language used. We
have but little rain here, and cass crOrs
are raised chiefly by means Of irrigation:
vegetables of all kinds surpass those r.sis-
ed in the States. but the yield Of grain is
not equal to that Of the Western States.
owing in some degree, no Doubt, to the
want Of proper cultivation. Nearly all
the deaths that occur here are attributa-
bic. first, to old age, and second, 20 Gissi-
patton and murders caused by drinking
ardent spirits. Yet, although there Is so
much drinking here, still the consistent
temperance man is rs highly respected
here as i'm any other place. We have here,
besides the three Catlloiic churches, .
Presbyterian Mission church, and have
Episcopal services every Sunday.
The Mexicans, as whole, are reInarka-
bly, loose in their virtue, and are made up
chiefly of cOnglOmeratiOn of the Span
lard. Indian and negro, the most idle and
indOlent people ever saw. For indus
try, they rank below the negro; yet there
are many families here of the pure Span
ish blood who are as white and intelligent
as our Americans. Some of the SenOritas
are beautiful. and, should YOU want to
marry, would make an eligible match.
We are 36O miles from the railiUad at
Kit Carson, from which point We have q
daily stage, reaching here in three and a
half days; fare eighty dollars. This ter
ritory is adapted for sheep and cattle
part is fit for cotton. We will certainly
have two If not three railroads through
our territory within from two to five
years. We expect next winter \ be adj
mitted as a State.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-04-26

| "AsK THE OLD WOMAN.''-A gentle
man travelling ''out west" relates the fol-
lowing amusing incident:
Riding horseback just at night through
the woods in Saginaw county, Michigan,
| | came into clearing, In the middle Of
which stood a log house. its owner sitting
i'm the open door smoking his pipe. Stop
ping NY horse before him the following
conversation eIsued:
"GOod evening. sir," said l.
"Good evening"" .-.=,-
"Can get glass of milk from you to
''Well. don't know. Ask the old
woman ....--., -.s 80.
BY this time the wife was standing at
his side. ia
"Oh, yes, said she, ''of course you
can.''
While drinking II ! asked:
"Think we are going to have a Storm"
"Well, really don't know. Ask the
old wOman-she can tel"
al guess we shall get one right away
said the wife. f-f.
Again asked:
"How much land have you got cleared
here?'' e..
"Well, really don't know. Ask the
old woman-she knows" .s.....'
"About nineteen acres," said she, again
answering. '--
just then troop Of children came run
ming and shouting round the corner of
the shanty.
"Are these your clildrcn?'' said /.
Don't know. Ask the old woman?'''
CORRESPONDENTS OF TURKISH Low
ERs.-rhe art of writing is not generally
known among the Turks. and when. q
lover wishes 10 communicate his senti-
mcnts in writing they have a mode of
eflecting it without pen, ink, orpaper, by
means Of flowers, fruits woods. silks,
stutfs and colors. of which they make
pocket, each article having an allegorical
scIl>e. Each pocket is called sskam.
Those who employ this mode of commri-
nic:ltion have a e;isket stored with Iicccs-
sary articles to compose a aetam. They
have dictionary. which they know by
memory. of the allUSion they wish to give
by their flowers.
An anilret signifies: '.Wc are both of
one mind;" Il piece of rOSe-busl, II weep
continually, but you ,leri,lc my tcars;' Il
piece Of cloth. 81 am tired with your I'M
poriurties :" Il piece of buckraIii or can
vas, 1--WE shall m together tc-mOrrow;''
piece, of silk. .'Iou have .air,ssl my
mind - looking-glass. II aim ready to
sacrifice myself for you;' pistol, Il
love you very much" -5.--..
A grain or raisin, some blue silk. a
mOrsel of sugar. and a piece of the wood
of alOes, arranged in a certain order, form :
a billet-dOuX to this effect:
MY heart, am in love with you; the
pain which my love occasions to me had
nearly deprived me of my senses; my
heart passiOnately desires yours.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

Az rule in any great struggle
involving any degree of strategy
and strength, the small nose must
60 to the wall It may have pluck,
spirit, refinement, constituencies,
and in fact, to the casual observer,
evey quality. requisite to success;
but somehow inv ariably at the
very crisis it gives way. Small
noses are failure. This 10 the
verdict of history. Give me q
man. or q woman either, with
. big nose-not q nose Of flesh, not
a loose flabby n sc like e cancels
lip, nor q thin, starved nose that
the eyes have crowded out and
forced into prominence, but . full,
etrong, substantial nose, that is
willing and able to take the lead;
one that asserts itself boldly be-
tween the eyes, aud reaches up
toward the brow and has room
enough to sit dow there and be
at home. Give me . man or wo-
men either, with . nose like that,
and / will have q nose that will
accomplish something. l grant
you that such q nose may be a
knave; it may be equally. genius
but it is never . coward nor . fool
never!
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17
Slim Chance for Success.

The Ledger asks, "Can the Democracy car.
~ the States of Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois
and Indiana" at the next election and says
that to do this they have only to overcome
1851 white and 24,9l5 negro votes in these
four States. Taking the Lcdger's estimate.
we find that'to carry these four States the
Democracy will have to gain, on an average,
near $4,000 votes in each of them, and We
rather think that viii be . big task to under
take. If The success Of the Democracy dc.
ponds on GAIT yipg these States, its chance 10
bad.
The Ledger, however, bases its calcula'
ton no false premises, to make the number
10 overcome even so small a. alleged. TAX
,uQ the true basis, the amount to overcome
would run near three times that much,
for the simple reason that where il is
counting gains for the Democracy in the
elections in those States for the last two or
three years, the fact is, there we're no gains
whatever. The cause Of the seeming gains
10 the Democr acy was simply refusal OF
the part of Republicans to vote. That va
the case in this State at the last elscticr, as
Is we'll known. The Democratic vote was no
Democratic gain whatever.
If there 10 . doubtful State among these
four, it is Indiana, and tia! is not, If the Re-
publicans act wisely. Indiana has really los1
NO actual Republican strength, save in thu
mere fact Of lethargy, which will not exist
in the Presidential election. This refusal r
vote was not caused by any detection ~ T.
general principles, but WAS the result OF ioca
troubles and iealousies. If the success o
,he Democracy depends on carrying tnest
four States, We might consider this ma tie,
ettled.-New Albany Tribune.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

While q Rochester gallant was
sleighing with a rural belle. about
q mile from town. the other night,
the horses became so mettlesome
that the driver becoming fr;ghten.
ed, got out and hitched them to
fence, telling his fair companion
she would have to shoof it. home,
while he proceeded to town to
send some one out for the mean
est team he ever drove.
The Archbishop of Cologne has
ordered four professors of the
University to subscribe to the dog
ma Of Papal Infallibility; the pen
atty in case Of refusal being ex-
communication.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

1.n MANHOOD-H OW LOST.
NN HOW RESrORED.-Just pub
s.S lished, . new addition OF DIR. culver.
weIi,s Celebrated Essay on the radical
cure without medicine) Of Spermatnrrh@r
or Seminal Weakness, Involuntary Semins
Iossos, lmpo.ency Mental and Physical Incs
pacity, Impediments to Marriage, etc; als'
Consumption, Epilepsy, and Fits, Induced ;.
seff-indulgence OF sexual extravaganza.
~ Price, in sealed envelope, only Gets
The celebrated. author, in this ,adnirabl
esay, cleary demonstrates from thirty yean
successful practice, that the alarming conse'
auences of self. abuse may be radically cure.'
without the dangerous use of internal medicit
or the Applicant ton of the knife; pointing out
mode of cure at once simple, certain, an
efiectuai, BY means of which every su:ierei
no matter what his condition may be. ma,
cure himself cheaply. privately, and radically
This Lecture sho1ld be in the ha nds
every youth and every man in the land.
81 Il, under seal, in plain enve;ope.t
any address, postpaid on receipt of six cert
or tao postage stamps,
Also, DR.. CulverwelPs marriage Guide,
price Is cents.
Address the Publishers,
CHAS.J. c. KLINE l. CO., "a
1871 Bowery. New York.
Post Office Box 1850
chSMP1CO$l5n25.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

THE NAruRs rr AN OATu.-Early in the
rebellion. when the FEDERAL forces were sta
toned al Beaufort, 8. G. there was an old
darkey By the name of Ligs Jackson, who.
deserted BY his master, was left to take care
Of himself % best he might. Lige was con-
sidered cbatts; Of weak intellect, and more
ever he was exceedingly awkward in his ct
tempts 10 play the role Of . house servant.
He smashed and destroyed pretty nearly
everything be laid his hands upon, and hav
ing waited upon pretty nearly every officer at
the post, each in turn, after giving him the
benefit Of good cursinx for his stupidity
turned him adrift.
II happened that Lixe was witness in .
case that came before . court martial, and
being called upon to give his testimony, was
objected to on the part of the defendant, who,
stated that he didn't believe the niger was
Of sound mind. !.
Stand up, Lige, said the court. Do you
understand the nature Of an oath?
Lige scratched his wool for moment, and
then ming up the whites of his eyes, ~.
piled: Look yeare, marse; dis niger hah
waited en- bout half de ossifers since dey fust
cum to dis place, and if he don't stand Dc
natur OF an oaf by dis time, den darss M
wirtu in cussip. -
The court considered Lige competer
witness. tflkfs
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

The Mishawaka Enterprise says:
The other eveninga young lady
in this place kindled q fire in the
kitchen stove to get tea and shut
the oven door. After . while q
peculiar odor was observable in
the room, and after q diligent
search for the innocent cause
thereof, the oven door was opened.
and there sat good eized kitten
nicely cooked, That kind of a
roast did not accord with the cul-
mary views of the young lady.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

A party Of Fort Wayne free
lovers went out on sleighing
spree. last Thursday night, and
the Sentinel states that when op-
positc the residence of q we'll
known citizen, they halted and set
up a series Of yells. shrieks. curses
and screams. at the came time in>
dulging in indiscrirninate hugging,
wrestling and hair pulling, that
disgusted the respectable behold
crs, who stood looking on with
Amusement and horror at the
scene.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

We republish entire, .this week, )
m article from the Richmond Tel
egram, opposing the denomination
OF Hon. j. NJ WILSON. OF course
We differ very sc i,usly with the
article in question, and do not be-
lieve it represents the great major,
ity OF Wayne county. 1t very sim
gular that the Telegram never dis
covered.that Wilson made q We. 4
canvass, or was SO unpopular. un-
til after the Richmond Postoffi .
trouble. The appointment Of De-
Wis to that position did not pleas Q
Mr.. Surface, and his paper has
since been decidedly uniriendly to
Judge Wilson.
The Telegram says the sole
ground on which Wilson was pre-.
ierred to Julian was harmony and
availability No one expected
harmony in the campaign, either
with Julian on or off the ticket, and
il any hoped for it, such hopes
were speedily dispelIe.l. Mr.. Jr-
liam was not renominated because
Of general feeling that if he were,
the Democrats would carry the.
district. No one expected Judge
Wilson to carry the full strength
of the ticket, but it was thought
he could come nearer doing 80
than Mr.. Julian-a fact which fig
ures proved. Many persons say
Julian's majority was 116, while
Wilson's was but 4. and from that
they argue that Julian is most
available. But that is not tie prop
or test. If they will examine the
returns they will find that JUL n
ran $40 votes behind his ticket,
while Wilson ran $50 votes behind.
That is the true test &C the pops
ular strength Of the two men. and
it shows just how much we are
weakened in the district by war.
ring among ourselves.
The friends of Judge Wilson ex
pected he would receive more than
four majority, but it must DO re-
membered that we came very near
losing the State ticket in this dis
trict at the same election, the Re-
publican majority for Secretary Of
State being only-l15. In 1865, the
last time Julian was elected, while
. his majority was I16, Bakers ma
jority in the district at the same
/, election was GOA.
Wilson's small vote cannot b,
attributed to his appropriately, no
to his weakness. It would hav'
been all the same had any othe
man been nominated in his stead
| and it is not at all necessary tina
J We should state why it would hav
/. been so Under the came circum
! stances it will be the same thing
or worse-this year. no matte
! whether we nominate Julian, Will
son. Claypool, Sexton, or anyon
else. Now, in the face Of ali this
having perfect knowledge Of GU
disease, and possessing the onl
unfailing remedy, Why not appl
it? why not cure the evil before
has 90 firmly fastened itself on tn
system that . cure is impossible
We have reli. ble Republica
majority in this district Of nearl
thousand, and will doubtless poi
| it on the State and National tich
els next fall. No one will disput
! this, and yet it is universally r.
garded as doubtful Congreesicn
al District. This should not be &
= II the Republicans will only d
their y.-[Connersville Times
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

o0AAAS0s "a DCh0uASEBSs
March, Naval aymaster. defaulter at Mare
Island, California; cashiered-
Lockwood, Grand and Psrker, Naval Pay.
masters, defrauded on distant stations; CASH
tered.
). Leyard Hodge. defaulter in Paymastsr
Generals Office; in Albany Penitentiary Of
ten years.
J.F. Bailey, defaulting Iaternal Revenue
Collector, New York; fed the country 70 avoid
arrest.
Bowerman and Wilson, defaulting Deputy
Collectors Of Customs At Baltimore, convicted
and in prison.
]. W. Norton, delaulting Money -0rde
Superintendent, New York; under arrest for
trial.
Geo. B. Wellman, defaulting Deputy Col.
lector of Custom at Savanuah;. under indiet-
ment.
Internal Revenue Collector Gould, and Su-
pervisor Kizyanouski. conspiracy to embeasle,
Georgia; indicted; former fed the country.
latter held for trial.
VIM. wiggin, defaulting Freedmsn's Blu
reau agent; convicted and sentenced to ten
years. Imprisonment.
F. A. Mccartney, defaulting Post Office
disbursing clerk; died in ipsane asylum be-
fore he could be tried. a
G. E. Edwins, embezzling TT easury clerk
convicted and in prison.
F. A. Madden, embezzling Treasury clerk
convicted and in prison.
Seth johnson, embezzlinG Treasury clerk
under indictment aud will certainly DO con.
victed.
8. B. Ksndig, defaulting disbursing clerk
Interior Department; convicted and in pris
on.
The responsibility Of the appointment OF ON
~ four of the above seventeen cases rest
upon this Administration.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

SATURDAY FEB. II. 1879
FISK.
Ev SALLlE ). DArrEy.

A void il Tho world Of commerce
10 yawninx from pole to pole!
A blank IN The everlasting
In flied BY Q mortal soul.
s.0cus 70 . higher tribunal!r
All &hex vns false or true
In the heart, where loves Wild flowers
Amid reeds and bramblcs grew.
An .ooa ~ .v;,.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

Bosrox. February 7 Laws. the
detaulting post Office clerk was
Yesterday held in 320, 200 bail for
trial. It is believed he has made
over property enough to cover his
speculaNons.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

Six blooded horses and fifty head
of choice cattle, valued ut 8l2. 900.
were recently burned up in . new
barn ct Goshen, NY. They be-
lonRed 70 Mr.. A. Ryerson.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

Cen ACTS francisco, Ca md - and - Commerce STD N.Y.
Vinegar Bitters arc not a vi!c Fancy Drink,
Made of Poor Rum, Whiskcy, Proaf Spirits
and Refuse Liquors, doctored, spicci end sweet
ened to please the TASTE called TONES, Appe,izcrs
"Res.orers, &c, that lead tlS ippler to drunken
ness and ruin but true Medicine, made from tho
Native Roots and Herbs OF California. free from all
Alcoholic Stimul ants They are the t2R EAT
BLOOD PURIFIER md LIFE GIVING
PRINCIPLE, perfect Renovator and Inyisorator
Of the System, carrying off all poisonous matter and
restoring the blood to healthy condition. no person
can take these Btters according to directions and re-
main long unwell provided their bones not des-
troyed by mineral poison other and the vital
organs wasted beyond the point OF repair.
They nre Gentle Purgntive M well as
Tonic also the peculiar merit ofactns -
powerful agent in relieving Congestion or lnfamma-
tion of the Liver. and all the Visceral Organs
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether In
young or CID married single, at the dawn of woman.
hood the turn Of life. these Tonic Bitters have no
equal. Ess ~
For InHnmmatory or Chronic Rheamntisn
and Gout, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, hi.
ious, Remittent and Intermittcnt Fevers,
Diseases Of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys and
Binder, these Bitters have been most successful
Such Diseases are caused By Initiated Blood,
which is gaperaly produced by arrangement OF tho
Digestive Organs.
DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION, Head
ache Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tighness Of the
Chest Dizziness Sour Eructaons of the Stomach Bad
Taste in the Mouth. Bilious Attacks Papitaticn Of the
Heart Inflammation Of the Lungs Pain in the regions
Of the Kidneys and hundred other painful Symphonic
are the ofsprinss Of Dyspepsia.
They nv.orate the Stomach and stimulate the torpid
Liver and Bowels. which render them Of unequalled
efficacy in cleansing the blood of all impurities, and i'm
parting new life and vgor to the whole system.
FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruptions, Tetter.
Salt Rheurn, Blotches Spots, Pimples Pustues, Bos
Carbuncles, Rng-Worms, Scald Head. Sore Eyes.
Erisipclas Itch Scurf, DESIGNATIONS Of the Skin,
Hunors and Diseases Of the Skin. Of whatever name
nature literally dug and carried out OF tho
system short time by the Of these Btters One
bottle in such will convince the most increduoua
Of their curative e11sct.
Cleanse the vitAted Blood whenever you And It's Ina
purtea bursting through the skin in Pimples Eruption.
or Sores cleanse II when you find it obstructed and
sluggish in the veins cleanse when 1t is FOUL and
your feelings will tell You when Keep the blood pure
and the health of the system will follow.
PIN. APE, and other WORMS, lurking N
the system of thousands, are etectua'iy des
troyed removed For full directions read carefully
the circular around each bottle, printed IN ioul
languages-Enghsh German, French and Spanish
WALKER, Proprietor. R. H. MCDONALD 4 CO.
Druggists and Gen. Agents. San Francisco. CAL, an
b and "a Commerce Street, New YORK.
re- SOLD By ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

- Pwssas believing they have made -
invsasioa or discovery In art or seiesee.
ard dssisuss IT ksowine whether the cane
hes hssa paasatsa, BY transmitting 70 70 .
noosl - drawing. Or sufficient descriptieo
to naks Ne inveasion intellieible,r can have
Q thoreuRh examination made In the Patoot
O@es, ssd The result Of said sxamiuatioo
lurwafdsd TO thsa for reasonable eompsa.
satioa.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17
Copies q All elaine.

q o. 6ay RAteet issusd bv sAe Patent o.
sinee ~, Gin b fasnishea q H. rvcein4 Fl
q. ~ applisaat giviag H. fan nans e -
hAeotse, 0ataso q The iavsntiea, dase q -
HAAaok =.
WssAisstsa City, Hss. I, 1879. 47.x
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17
R0nInlSM IS / IS,

An entirely new authentic. exhaustive aud
standard work, eminently adapted to the
times. 1t fully uncovers the whole Romish
system and exposes its iLsidious workings to
secure full control. Extra Terms Tor the
West. CONN. PUBLISHING co. HART
FORD, Conn. 47-4wd
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

CLAIMS AGAINST raR oovEasnssr
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1872-02-17

TUE SEMI.W EEKLY sun.
Five copies. ono year. separately addressed:
Eight Dollars.
Ten copica, one year. separately addressed (and
nm extra copy to gettet mp of clnb).
Sixteen OO1laro.