The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1872-05-02
FREE MASONRY EXPOSED.

! uAV0 JOlueQ tuc u1dSOulC GldlClu1t
Mr.. Editor. / am free aad accepted
son, or brother, or whatever it is, OF that
ancient and mysterious organization. l
have belonged to many secret societies IN
my time have been an Orangeman,
and Son of Tenn perance and a Fenian,
and / remember right, once belonged to
. gang Of coiners; but this Masonic
arrangement, this institution of the COM
pass and square, distances them all. /
had often wondered what sort OF q thing
a Mason was-in what respect he differ
ed from any ordinary human being.
Time and again have pumped persons
who thought knew what was what, with
view of finding out something regard
ing these remarkable men, but it was no
20. Mum was the word. Those who
could tell wouldn't and those who would,
couldn't ; for further Information l was
advised to go and find out. 1 had a
vague idea Of my own that Mason was
a sort of supernatural being, regular
ring tailed roarer, with horns and hoofs
to match, who could come down the
chimney or get in the keyhole and dis
appear like a flash of lightning-a chap
that could knock blazes out of a fellow
with the wink of his eye, and of whom
the devil himself was" afraid.
There is one singular thing connected
with Masonry, of which you are not per
haps aware, and that is a Mason never
dies. Occasionally it is given out that
brother has departed this Lie. and the
fraternity is respectfully summoned to
do honor to his remains; but it is all a
sham, big swindie, gotten up to throw
dust in the eyes of the uninitiated. The
coffin is stuffed full of bricks, and depc-
sited with due solemnity in the ceme-
terry, while the brothers and friends are
blubbering their eyes out over the grave
of the dear departed, and the dear de-
parted quietly enjoys himself in the
back room of some hotel, preparatory to
leaving for parts unknown. 1t is fact,
Mr.. Editor. Masons never die. They
may change their appearance. and move
off to other spheres but as for dying they
don't do it. 1t is supposed by some that
after they have transacted wickedness
enough on this earth, they are trans
formed into comets and meteors. and 60
wandering through space, kicking up
shines and raising the devil generally
and great many people suppose that
the last meteoric display was nothing
more than free fight between some riy-
al lodges that had crossed each others
path. the different colored lights betok-
ening the different degrees they had &C
CURED in the flesh.
Free Masonry is of ancient date, as is
proven by the fact that during the wet
season Noah used to hold meetings In
corner of the ark. He was obliged to
give it up, however, owingto the curiosi-
ty Of Mrs. Noah, who, notwithstanding
that her husband placed two lions and
big crokodile at the door as outside guard
came pretty near finding out the secret
and starting female lodge on her own
hook.
l must tell you of the perils and trials
| had to undergo to become Mason.
On the evening in question I presented
myself at the door of the lodge room, No.
Ss,99o, sign of the skull and cross bones.
was conducted to the anti-room, where
five or six melancholy chaps in sashes and
embroidered napkins were waiting to re
ceiye me. On my entrance they all got
up, turned back somersaults, and then
resumed their seats. A big fat fellow
who sat in the middle and who seemed
to be proprietor, then said: Skinner
from the outer world, advance ?' ad-
vanced. ''Will you give up everything
to join us?'' mot if know it, I said
there my wife and fourteen fine"
Another party there told me to say"yes"
rs it was merely matter of form. So l
said yes, | give up everything" The
fellows in the towels then groaned and
said, its wsh.'' DO you swear, never
to reveal anything you see or hear this
evening to any human being nor your
wife," l said, upon my word will
not. They then examined my teeth
and felt my muscles and made me put
out my tongue, and then groaned again.
l said, ''if you don't feel well have got
little bottle here that The fat
man here took the bottle from me, and
told me to shut mp. He then in a voice
of thunder, said. Bring forth the goat =
Another fellow came up with big cloth
to blindfold me. ''No you don't, Mr.
Mason. | said, ''no tricks on travellers,
If you please; don't believe in playing
blind mans buff with a goat, I'll ride
the devil if you like, but I don't go it
blind. Stand back or I'll knock you into
smithereens. They were too much for
me. however, so | had to submit to be
bllnd-folded. The goa: was then led in !;
l could hear him making an awful rack
ct among the furniture. began to feel
that was wanted at home, but was in
for 1t, and could not help myself. Three
or four fellows then seized me, and with
demonacal laugh, pitched me on the
animals back, telling me at the same
time to look out for squalls. have been
IN good many scrapes, Mr.. Editor; /
have been in an election fight; have
been pitched out of q fourth story win
dow; I've gone down in a railroad COLI
sion, and up in steamboat explosion :;
but this little goat excursion was ahead
OF them all The cnnfnnnded thins .,,s.