The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-02-02
Varieties.

"A youthful warrior-A baby in arms.
"A good farmer will never be satisfied
with his farming until he sees his land
growing better every year.
If Burns were living now, he would
tell the man that wants to see himself as
Others see him, to run for Office.
1.-THE prisoner has q very smooth coun-
tenance." eyes, he was ironed just before
he was brought in. That accounts for it."
-"You'll never find his equal" said
Rev. Mr.. Spriggins to young widow, who
had just lost her husband. "No, I fear not /;
but shall try"
-"Have 1 not offered you every advan-
tage? said doting father to his son. "Oh,
yes!" replied the youth, "but could not
ther."
Mr.. William Ortman, of Washington
borough, Lancaster county, raised, last sea-
son, from three and a half acres of land,
9,127 pounds of tobacco. This yield is un-
precedented
The last subject discussed by deba-
ting society was, eff you had to have
boil, where would you prefer to have it
The unanimous decision of the members
was ION some other fellow"
"A Kansas lady went to theatre and
handed the man in the box office a fine
tooth comb, having mistaken it for her
ticket, which she left at home. The door
keeper told her she could not comb in.
The Pilatka (Fla.) Herald notices the
arrival there on the 18th inst. of thou
sand ears of green corn from Turkey creek.
1t also says that the present season has pro-
duced the largest and most delicious Or
anges for many years.
"A good-natured traveller fell asleep in
train, and was carried far beyond his des-
tination. "a pretty good joke this, isn't
it ?" said he to fellow passenger. "Yes,
but little too far fetched" was the rejoia.
der.
-'Bus-driver to conductor of opposi-
ton 'bus-"I've known yer ever since you
was born. l knowed yer mother; she had
two on yer at that time. One was very
nice little boy, t'other was half idiot-a
sort of brown paper Teller. The VERY nice
little boy died VERY young, he did"
| An Irish drummer, whose round and
rosy cheeks gave notice that he now and
then INDUCED IN a noggin of right good
potteen, was accosted by the inspecting
general "What makes your face so red, sir 2"
"Please your honor" replied he of the
drum, II always bushes when | speak to
gineral officers"
A PROBABLE WRECK.-A thin old man
with rag bag in his hand, was picking up
large number of pieces of whale bone
which lay on the street. The deposit was
of such singular nature that we asked the
quaint-looking gatherer how he supposed
they came there. Don't KNOW" he replied
in squeaking voice, 81 'spect some un
fortunate female was wrecked hereabouts."
Boswell once asked johnson if there
was no possible circumstance under which
suicide would be justiiabe. NO" said
johnson. "Wel," said Boswell, "sup-
pose man had been guilty of fraud, and
that he was certain to be found out
"Why, then," was the reply, sin that
case, let him go to some country where he
is not known, and not to the devil, where
he is known"
"A young man from the country, out
walking with young lady, cudgeled his
brains for some interesting topic of CONVEX.
sation to amuse her with, but in vain; he
could hit upon nothing until they met sew
eral cows, when the swain said, with much
simplicity ofmanner, "Now isn't it strange
!, what motherly appearance COW has 2
To which the lady replied, 81 do not think
it strange, sir, that cow should have Il
motherly appearance to cali"