The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-08-10
mtsrellanp.
SCENE IN A SODA SHOP.
A Reputation Nearly Blasted by q "Sars'
aparrilla Singers Smartness'''

Reputation Nearly Blasted by ''Sars.
aparrilia Singers SMartness'"
From the Cleveland Leader.
We have no hesitation in stating that
among the abled bodied male adults Of this
city the very common beverage known as
"soda water" and which is dealt out so un-
sparingly at every corner during the heated
term, is considered, to use their own Ian.
guagee, ''thin drink" But while the ingen.
ious mixture of wind and water is termed
chm" strong liquors. such as WHISTLES, are
altogether too "thick" for steady warm
weather drink, and so the imbiber who must
moisten his Aues with some liquid refresh.
ment seeks pleasant combination of the two
classes of drink. which forms happy combt.
nation that exhilerates yet is not intoxicating.
1t is customary among those bibulons go-he.
tweens to enter drug store, Gail for soda
water, name their syrup, at the same time Civ.
ing wink 70 the dispenser Of "sush." who
takes the goblet, in which he places the syr-
up, then stoops down beneath the counter or
retires to back room, where, by some mys-
ferrous chemical change, the contents are co..
ored darkly, and the soda is then let in upon
the mixture, which is handed to the customer,
with wink from the clerk. So much for the
process now for the sequel
Saturday venerable gentleman from the
country who is a respectable church Deacon,
Justice of the Peace, a member of the
''Band Of Hope" and Good Templar in his
native village, came to the city to trade lit.
tie in dry goods, and purchase such agricul-
tural implements as he needed to plant and
cultivate his spring crops. The Deacon is
strictly temperate, and never looks upon the
wine when It's red, any more than he does
when it is any other color. Unfortunately,
our old friend had suffered from opthalma in
his early days, which left him with an optical
peculiarly, which caused his left upper eyelid
to drop every few seconds, and which, to
those not familiar with his infrmity, gave him
the appearance of winklng Intentionally.
The ''Deac" Is passlonatey fond Of soda
water, and such light beverages. He loves to
feel the gaseous compound coursing down his
throat. and creating internal connections end
typhoons, that, however endurable by older
persons, throw babes into agony, and require
prompt doses of peppermint; so Saturday af
ter he had bought few shovels plows, hoes,
Iakes and threshing machine, also a Dolly
Warden for his wife, he thought he would fill
up with soda water, and drive on towords
home. He entered q drug store, enquIred the
price of the desired letreshment, then deposit
cd his scrip and awaited Its mixture.
"What syrup do you want ?" said the ur
bane clerk, as he mopped off the marble coun-
ter with the same towel he used moment be-
fore to remove the honest sweat from his
1fow.
ooh, give me sassaparllly that IS about as
healthy as anything, ! guess" (flere the
deacon's eye-hd went back on him and drop
ped quickly
"All right" replied the fountain tender as
he disappeared below the counter, and came
up a moment later with the drinking glass
containing about three fingers OF "sassaparlliy,'
to which he added the other ingredients, and
handed it to the deacon. The latter drained
the contents to the very dregs, then brushed
the froth from his mouth, smacked his lips,
and said, THAT syrup is a lec:le stronger
then they generally make it, but my blood Is
out Of ORDER, and I guess I'll take another
glass y at the same time his cye-ld tluttcrcd
meaning as before.
The dose was repeated, and the soda water
biber left the store. About halt an hour later
he entered another establishment where a
sign announced, soda and Mineral Waters on
Draughtn 1t was noticed the Deacon walk
ed as if he had the string halt as he entered
the door, and his spectacles were upside
down on his nose. lie called for Congress
Water at this place, saying he ibid not feel
quite right, and was afraid he had used too
much syrup IN his soda water at the other
store, or else he was bilious" His optical
weakness exhibited itself as he spoke, and re-
turning the wink, the clerk retired to dark
closet, then returning filled up the glass with
plain Congress" and gave it to our now
'tightually slight friend, who swallowed 1t
without q murmnr.
How many "sodas' the Deacon stored
away before he left the city We are unable to
say, but he was found late IN the day asleep
In his wagon, with a pillow point for pillow,
and several yards of Dolly Warden calico
gracefully draped about his person for COW
cring. He revived sufficiently to inform a
stranger that he had been 'drugged,' and a
subsequent visit to the localities where he had
taken soda water, developed the fact that
his unfortunate habit Of winking--a defect
over which he had no contyol-was the cause
of all his trouble The soda water dispensers
supposed him to be lone of the boys and
every time his eyelid dropped took the hint.
The deacon escaped the 'jimjams,' but says
hereafter he will wear blind over that eye
when he purchases summer drinks, or else
write his order on u state.