Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-12-12
oompARArIyE pHYsIoGNomY.
The Human Nose and its Humorous
Prominence.

Ehe HUMAN Nose anu It's Au mOrOue
Prominence.
For some weeks the horses nose has been
| of peculiar interest and afforded much
study. Since the horse mrlady has passed
and cold weather with the ''Bsautiful
Snow" "Tom and Jerries," has commenc-
ed, the human nose, by its rudy color, may
not be uninteresting to speak of. A few
evenings since, while idly loungiug in the
| quadrangle of the Maxwell House, gazing
about US with vain hope of decrying an
item or 'fsensa ion" wherewith to electrify
the patrons of eye local." we were eourte-
ously approached by tall, thin, angular
gentleman in brown thread gloves, lazily
swinging a s'tea-wood" cane, and bestow'
! ing-as he advanced through the group Of
| people gathered about in spots-a curious
and evidently an edited attention upon each
| face within the compass of his vision.
Having passed the time of day with US
and exchanged a few commonplace, set.
Ting thereby the merits of the weather.
| forever it is to be hoped-our observing &C
quaintance suddenly remarked, pointing at
| the same time with his ''tea cane" to where
two billiardists were making hard work at
| tha green baize, "See the difference between
the noses of those two men,"
Somewhat startled by the abrupt remark,
We-Joe being one of us-threw a quick
and then careful glance at the objects in
dicated, and sure enough "there is a differ
ence," we said; s'one Of them is long, thin
and smooth, and the other is short, thick
and bumpy."
eyes" interrupted "Teawood," zone
drought and the other cast" and wnipging
his hand with tout ensemble. sweep, he
continued:
"Take any two noses, or mouths, or eyes,
or any two of the same features belonging
to different persons and compare them.
Continue TO compare the same features,
one with the other, and altogether as you
meet them, and if the employment doesn't
furnish you days amusement equal to an
evening with Fox in Hianpty Dumpty I'll
SETTLE" And istlessly swinging bis 'tea
cane" as before, our dryly humorous ac-
quaintarce disappeared in the crowd.
Resolving to test the efficacy of the pre-.
scription "We stationed ourself" at a
"parade rest" against one Of the CORN
THAN columns and anxiously awaited the
adventof nose. 1t soon appeared around
the base of neighboripg column. 1t was
rather an extraordinary nose, set squarely ia
the center Of its owners face, shaded by
darkish eyebrows and under propped with
q prominent "Bismark- colored" moustache.
In shape and color it resembled an "early"
egg plant, small and tough at the base and
gradually increasing and softening towards
the end, where it suddenly rounded off and
became a corrugated globe, Of 2 pulpy COZ
sistency.
IlG10I Oh oyA
sampled below" was as plainly hieroglyphed
as is stamped on mushroom, and il
pointed, steadily as the needle TO the pole,
towards the tempting array of decanters on
the shelves of the bar where smilingly stood
the "Bacchus" of the Maxwell House,
watching the approach Of the primitive
vegetable and ready to assist its fructifica-
ton with the horticultural compound known
as "Tom and jerry" or in the more gut
teral words of Fritz "Egg Schnapps."
Hearing ';nasal twang" in an opposite
direction we turned from this blossoming
bud of dissipation and beheld another ap-
preaching nose. So laughsbla was the con-
trast that we almost exploded, and gazing,
as we were, directly at the advancing nose,
its owner gazed upon Us with anything but
q sympathetic expression of co1ntenance.
This nose was controversion Of the
othsr nose. This was nose mora diff
cult to appreciate, and almost impossible to
describe. Like Hogarth's dine of beauty"
il was almost a curve, and its apex of ro-
tundity glistened %under the gas-iight" as
brightly as nickel of 1872. It's nostrils
were thin and flexible, aud when the trans
verse oritice, underneath it, opened as its
friend, this wonderful nose peered over the
upper lip and through the oyster shaped
and seemed to be gazing him
self in, as one might fancy, a shrivelled dry
old man peering in at the window Of
''Sdtle Manager"
Before we had time to trace out the
moral suggestion by this comparison, our
eye was caught by another, aud still a diff !
f5rent style of nasal protuberance. This |
was the familiar, the genuine, the uucOm- |
the independent ''Rez retrOuSse." |
STay-5acked, deep seated, impudeut and |
was that nose, always at an
elevation OF - degrees, and ready at 81 /
nstart's warning to elevate its horrid self |
still higher, but never by any procasssof |
force or power of critical expression TO be
depressed or ''put out of joint" The phi.
Osophy ofthis nose is that you my always
bet on it safely, if you bet affirm atiVely.
If you bet that it will do things, and Zoe
'Ound 10 places under any circumstances,
with less agitation and less concern for con-
sequences than any other hose under the
sun, is surer than to win on a hOES5 race,
and more certain than lottery ticket.
These three we're types of the widely
iifferent and positive classes Of noses, re-
Iuiring no exercise of mental faculty in
heir classification.
But now We began to notice on all sides
u Us modified or enlargeJ, amended or alb
normal specimens of each class, every one
some individual characteristic,
ome mask Of identity not shared with its
suggesting as an appropriate
definition that given by Prof. Schela de
We're to the Chinese language, SUI generis.
30 intent did our observation of this en-
aging feature become, that we soon lost
light of all other features of the various
aces around us. A perfect sea of noses
'obbed and sWayed and mixed before US.
Here was nose with a prominence on its
Oulge like pack saddle on a Mexican
mule. There was nose directed
rom its proper 'bearings," and seemed to
)e making strenuous efforts to crawl
round snd hide behind the great ear that
TODD out in bAs-relief against back
round of az octagonal head, bristling with
Eiry hair. Yonder, was nose with one
ostrIl closed entirely, another twitching
erVously inthe vain endeavor-5oth ha nds
+ its owner being occupied in holding bis
cue" as he leaned over billiard table for
fine shot"-to dislodge ventureson Q insect
nat was making seven laagued strides
long It's rim towards the imposing breast
FORK of eyebrow above. Close at our ell
ow was q nose that looked as if bat re-
emily delivered from the 'grip" of pow
-ful thumb and fore fnger. Ia the dis
sDce doomed nose which occupied the
ltire front Of the structure to
'hich il was attached ard {
Ike a spreading adder snake, seemed per- |
spibly spreading as We gszed. On our
GIT hand two noses were bObbing-G at each
Their, as we have seen game cocks do, ;
TO their encounter. To our
ght the point Of nose projected around {
lie curve of a column like an algebraic
On on the circumference of q circle. We
ere in deluge of noses of ali patterns I
nd sizes, and wherever we turned we met !
nose. Noses bowed to us and passed us,
nj some stopped to contemplate US lean /
g against the corinthian column, laugh
z until tears rolled down our own nose: ;
al bo nu-ncpS IF oil ho pOoaa |