Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1872-02-22
A Mighty Social Place.
BIZ MARK TWAIN.

neF ndDODS, WHICH may OF may HOI
have occurred. Igive it for what it is
worth:
Colonel Jim had seen something of
the world, and knew more or less of
its ways; but Colonel Jack was from
the back settlements ofthe States, had
led life of arduous toll, and had
never seen 4 city. These two. blessed
with sudden wealth. projected a visit
to New York-Colonel Jack to see
the sights and Colonel Jim to guard
his unsophistication from misfortune.
They reached San Francisco in the
night and sailed in the morning. Ar
irving in New York, Colonel Jack
said
''I've heard tell of carriages all my
life, and now l mean to have ride
in one; I don't care what it COSTS
Come along"
They stepped out on the side walk,
and Colonel Jim called stylish ba
rouche. But Colonel Jack said u
"No, sir! None of your cheap John
turn for me. Tn here to have
a good time, and money amt no OBJ
ject. Ilmean to have the nobbiest go
ing. Now here comes the very trick
Stop that yaller one with the picture
on it-don't you fret-Ill stand all
the expenses myself
So Colonel Jim stopped an empty
omnibus and they got in. Said Colo
mel Jack =: 49, as ea,.-e
"Ain't it gay, though? Oh, no, I
reckon not! Cushions, and windows,
and pictures, till you can t rest. What
would the boys say if they could see
US cutting swell like this in New
York By George, L wish they could
see us. ...- -..,
Then he put his head out of the
window, and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits me!-suits
yours truly, you bet 1 want this she
bang all day. I'm on it, old man !!
Let 'em out! Make 'em go! Well
make it all right with you, sonny
The driver passed his hand through
the strap hole and tapped for his fare
lit was before. the gongs came into
common use. Colonel Jack took the
hand and shook it cordially. He
said =
''You twig me, old pard All right
between gents. Smell of that, and
see how you like it =
And he put a twenty dollar gold
piece into the drivers hand. After a
moment the driver said he could not
make change.
Bother the change! Ride it out,
Put it in your pocket" ..
The omnibus stopped, and q young
lady got in Colonel Jack stared for a
moment, .then nudged Colonel Jim
with his elbow. fr aa-
Don't say word" he whispered
F ''Let her ride if she wants to. Ora
cious, there's room enough"
The young lady got out her port
monnaie, and handed her fare to Colo
! mel Jack.
whats this fo~ ?'' said he.
/. 'tGive it to the driver, please"
'Take back your money, madam
We can't allow it. You're welcome
to ride here as long as you please
but this shebang's chartered-wt
sha'nt let you pay cent
The girl shrank into a corner be
wildered. An old lady with a baske
climbed in, and protfered her fare.
HExcuse me-" said Colonel Jack
"You are perfectly welcome here
. madam. but we can't allow you tc
; pay Set right down there, mum, anC
don'tyou be the least uneasy. Make
, yourself as free as if it was in you
own turnout
Within two minutes, three gentle
f men, two fat women and a couple OF
children entered
Come right along, friends" said
Colonel Jack; ''don't mind us. This
is a free blow out" Then he whis.
amt no sociable place, don't reckon
it amt no name for it,
He resisted every effort to pass
fares to the driver. and made every
body cordially welcome The situa
ton dawned on the people, and they
pocketed their money and delivered
themselves up to covert enjoyment O
the episode. Half dozen more pas
f sengers entered.
"Oh, there is plenty of room,'
said Colonel Jack Walk right il
and make yourselves at home. A
blowout amt worth anything as I:
blow out, unless a body has compa
nv" Then a whisper to Colonel Jim
, ':But amt these New Workers friend
. ly? And amt they cool about it
! too? Icebergs amt anywhere.
, reckon they'd tackle hearse, if it wa:
going their way"
More passengers got in; more yet
/ and still more. Both seats filled. and
f file of men were standing up hold
r ing on to the cleats over head. Par
r ties with baskets and bundles were
5 climbing up on the roof Half sup
, pressed laughter rippled up from al
, sides
t "Well, for clean, cool, out and on
t cheek, if this don't bang anythin.
: that ever 1 saw, I'm an Injun," whis
/ pered Colonel Jack.
j A Chinaman crowded his way in.
Il Neaken," said Colonel Jack
f ''Hold on, driver! Keep your seats
s ladies and gents. just make your
= selves free-everything's paid for
! Driver, rustic these folks around jus
e as long as they're q mind to 60
+ friends of ours, YOU know. Talk
+ them everywhere; and if you wan
!, more money, come to the st. Nicho
o las, and we'll make it all right Pleas
y ant journey to you, ladies and gents
: go just as long as you please
G sha'nt cost You a cent"
d The two comrades got out, ant
# Colonel Jack said:
e Jimmy, it's the SoctableSt place
ever saw The Chiuaman waltzes il
as comfortably as anybody. If we'C
staid awhile I reckon we'd had som,
: niggers. B'George, we'll have t
| l,,o, L. Il -, s.,.Ik