The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-07-23
From the New York Sewer Of July 81
Spurious Enterprise.

Spurious pllcCs
THE SEWER PENETRATEs APRICA.-DIS-
CovERY OF DIR. Observation-Disclosures
ADVENTURES.
Wonderful Dialogue.
1t will be seen by the following letter from
our correspondent, who was dispatched to
Africa and way stations, in search of the dis
tinguished traveller, DIR. Deadbrick, that he
has been successful in his mission, and that
the great Deadbrick has ceased to be the
property of newspaper photographers, and
henceforth will belong Exclusively to the
New York Setrer.
ULIAH, AARIL 1.
Editor Ne,r York Se,cer:
Pursuant to your instructions to spend all
my own private means and dead-head on ac-
count of the SeUer anywhere could, have
after the expenditure of few millions of
money, and at unheard of risks, succeeded in
finding DIR. Deadbrick. / reached Ajamboree
on the first of April, having lost on the way
one end man, the clog-dancer, 80 Packonin-
MES, and 20 other jackasses who accompanied
me. From thence i intended advancing to
Obuneumbe, but found terrible difficulties in
the way.
Bukniggah, King of the Huggermuggers,
declared that no caravan, minstrel company
or side show should pass Obuncumbe except
ONCl LIS DOuN. as nc Is very bbTOIiS-ul uOU
weather, this was supposed at first to be an
unsurmountable obstacle.
The canvass men and supernumeraries de-
clared war. l gave assistance, and the first
day we routed brigade of bootblacks and
burned their boxes. The second day, l
caught the small pox, ship fever and rheuma-
tism, and had sharp attack of the jim-jam
On the third day the wench dancer and
bone player were ambushed and routed with
sffa loss On. fhaf .1oxy
troupe struck for eight hours and free lager,
and expressed their preference for Horace
Greeley for Viceroy of Africa. Bukniggah
threatened Ujijjmmini, fortified the news
stands and apple-stalls, collected strolling
company, laid in barrel of lager, a Swiss
cheese, and hoisted the American flag. Buk-
niggah left in disgust.
then started for Obuncumbe, by the way
I'm Gut. The Arabs, who were can
lg Africa for other New York papers
life Insurance Companies, endeavored to
.de me, and said l shouldn't make
tinker's commission.
l, nevertheless, pushed on over an untrod-
den desert of 10000 miles, and reached the
suburbs of Obuncumbe, which 1 entered,
blowing for the Seicer, and soliciting the ma
tives to subscribe for that great moral paper.
The astonished inhabitants fiocked out, cry
ing: "This establishment does not advertise
IT..
noticed in the centre of group of hotel
walters and second hand clothes dealers,
strongly contrasting their delicate complex
ions, rum-looking old white buffer, wearing
faded pink silk tights and Buffalo overcoat.
Having been in so many pickles l was able to
preserve my calmness before the darkies, and
inquired, .e-.7r
''Dr. Deadbrick, presume?'
He politely responded. "Thats the way 1
write it old pard.''
He informed me that he had been under
pay to the newspapers for many years, and
whenever news was dull he sent darkey
down to the coast to forward a dispatch
stating that he had been found; was sick in
the interior, or had been murdered.
He had explored the head waters of the
Hanky banky and found it was not navigable
for ships of thousand tons. He crossed the
Dyrtiwahter and found it not the Filthedich,
but an entirely different kind of water. The
source of the Nile is undoubtedly the Who'll
inthegrownd-''I think the DIR. has put his
foot in it, here.-The Dranepiipi does not
flow into the Nile all. The DIR. explored the
Allinyerii for few thousand miles, when his
provisions gave out, and he was obliged to
return to Obuncumbe where he met me.
L supplied him with 6 gross of ice cream,
bunch of matches and paper of solace
tobacco.
He will pass the next six years in recruit
ing and organizing an African Band for the
next Boston Jubilee.-BOstOn Commercial
Bulletin.