The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-06-26
From the Chicago Tmes.l
Kissing Ones Own Minister.

There has been an unpleasantness
in Cincinnati, in which Mr.. Bond in
dulged in q few moments of lively
hatchet practice upon the occiput of the
Rev. Mr.. Thompson, Of Kansas, for
kissing Mrs. Sallie Shingledecker.
Sallie had been cosrted by Bond and
! converted by Thompson. Under the
sway Of Thompson, she had given her
heart to religion, and, under the influ-
ence of Bond, she had given the same
article to him. Though she was thus
under double bonds, she could not keep
the peace.
Mr.. Bond, for greater convenience in
pursuing his amatory addresses, had
contracted, about three months before,
ior full board at the table Of Mrs.
Shingledecker. If the renting OF
single lodgings by Mr.. Pickwick from
the susceptible Widow Bardell proved
his desire to lead that lady to the
hymenial altar, far more did Mr..
Bonds engagement Of full board with
Mrs. Shingledecker warn all lovers,
and Methodist ministers, that he was
deliberately besieging the right and
left ventricles OF that fair widow. Mrs
Shingledecker had at first warned Mr..
Bond with affectionate candor, that she
would not marry him so long as there
was any chance Of carrying her charms
to a higher market. This famed the
tender passion Of the Bond to fever
heat.
Mr.. Bond says (though after indulg-
ing hatchet-prsctice he is, of course, a
luuatic, and wholly unreliabe) that OF
late his addresses had been successful.
Mrs. Shingledecker, being on the sunny
side OF forty, became persuaded that
Bond would be her best hold, if not her
last grip. So she smiled upon him,
and he was happy. When we consider
how often Mrs. Shingledecker had the
privilege of smiling on Bond, we can
arrive at small part Of the data for
computing his bliss.
In handing the bond his coffee at
breakfast she could ask him modestly
if he would have it sweet and with
cream" and accompany the beverage
with smile full of the flavor of vanilla.
And as Salle, in spite of her prudence,
had taste for osculatory enjoyments,
it stands to reason that she would not
allow him to sally forth in the morning
to his daily toll, which consisted in
turning off other peoples gas, without
one OF those sallies Of amatory lip.
practice which are so electric to the
susceptible lover. Into this little Eden
OF connubial bliss, now in full pin
feather, enters the Reverend aud
remorseless Thompson, Of Kansas.
Mrs. Shingledecker had, once before,
been fatally subjected to his attractive
wiles under the most dangerous circum.
stances. Thompson had preached the
funeral sermon Of the late la.
mented Shingledecker, her first. Next
TO the sexton who buries a man, the
minister who breaches his requiem
stands highest in the esteem of his
mourning relict In this case the reict
kissed Mr.. Thompson, or Thompson
kissed the relict, as thing of course
The report OF the affair in the Cincin-
natl papers assures US that "it was not
strange that the minister should kiss
the lady, as his relations with her and
her family were Of the purest and most
intimate character, and, as she sought
to bestow the kiss upon him, there was
nothing improper in his accepting it. "
Certainly not Since the eccentrlclty
of Joseph, there is no recorded case
wherein gentleman has been justified
in refusing favor which lady might
seek to bestow upon him. AS most
Methodist ministers are gentlemen,
rules OF politeness can make no excep-
ton of their cases. Clearly the Rev.
erend Thompson was bound in honor to
kiss Mrs. Shingledecker, and in doing
80 he acted like a man.
There was a periodocity to these
visits, however, that alarmed Bond.
The Reverend Thompson had come to
Cincinnati to get an appointment as
Book Distributor to the Methodist
Episcopal Church in St. Louis. Mrs.
Shingledecker could not give him the
appointment. She was not bishop or
an elder. Yet he came straight to her
house. He came daily. He dined
there. He dropped in between tlmes.
And when he came, and when he left,
and while he stayed, the intimacy and
exalted purity Of his relations to Mrs.
Sallie could not be adequately expressed
without a gentle drawing and natural
physical and psychicsl ogling Of each
toward the other. Perhaps he folded
her IN his embrace, as Colerldge did
his Genevieve. 1t was the periodicity
and proximity OF these oculatory re-
freshments that excited the savage
| jealousy of Bond. His had been a
wild, irregular life on the sea and shore
His tastes were narrow, base and ex-
elusive. He did not perceive that Sallie,
after kissing the Thompson into tre-
NOR of pleasrrable sensations, could
return to her dear beloved and betrothed
Bond just as good as new. His was q
lower and grovelling nature. True, he
was also a church member. But on
the woman question he was fatally con-
servative. He represented the tyrant
man, and not the apostle OF harnonial
progress. He had not read Fourier. or
the Cady Stanton.
Hence he became insane. He bought
q new hatchet, and, bursting into the
psrlor while the loving pair were in
their teuderest en braces, and while, in
their heavenly rsptures, it nearly seemed
to them that they had crossed the Jor.
4 4. h al