Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1872-11-30
THE NEW DEPARTMENT IN 1.-THE
MORNING GLORY"

proprietor of The M0yming Glory, hay
ing observed the disposition of persons
who have been bcreavel of their rel
ativcs to give expression to their feel
inGs in q poetical form, reelected that it
might be good thing to introduce to
his paper department Of obituary po-
etiv. He considered whether if, when
an individual inserted fifty cents worth
of death notices, tho establishment
should consider gratuitously half q dol
lars worth of mortality stanzas, his pa
per would not at once become the most
popular vehicle for the conveyance OF
that peculiar form Of melancholy intel
ligcncc to the public. And Mr.. Brim-
ncr rightly estimated that, rs most
newspaper readers seem to take deep
er interest in such scpulciral news than
in information of any other kind the
journal containing the largest supply
would have the creates st number of sub
scribcrs.
So Mr.. Brimmcr determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate,
engage an obituary poet for a short
time, with the purpose OF giving him
permanent employment if the plan
seemed to take with the public. Ac-
cordingly he sent for Mr.. Remington
OFT, n constructor of verses, who had
frequently contributed 10 the columns
of TIE Morning Gio,W rooms of what
would have been considered by q fastid-
ious student of English literature an
appalling and revolutionary character.
Mr.. Brimmcr soon Effected an engage
ment with the bard, by which it was
agreed that Mr.. OF should take posi-
ton i'll the Office for short time and
whenever n death-noticc arrived he
should Immediately endcavor to grind
ont some verses expressive of the situ
alton.
"You understand, Mr.. Ott," cx-
planned Brimmer, " that when the death
of an individual is announced, l want
You, as it were, to cheer the afflicted
family with the resources of your noble
art. l wish you to throw yourself, you
may say, into their situation, and to
give them verse or two about the
corpse which will seem to be the express
sion of the emotion of the hearts of
the living"
TO tighten the gloom, in certain
sense. snppose?' said Mr.. OFT.
Precisely! Tighten the gloom.
Do not mourn over the departed; but
rather take Il JOYOUS view of death.
which after all. Mr.. OFT. is. as it were,
bat the entrance to 4 better life. There
fCre, l will advise You to touch the heart
strings of the afflicted with a tender
hand, and endcavor, FIR instance, to di-
vert their minds from contemplation of
the horrors of the tomb"
"I'll throw off stanzas, said Mr.. OF,
" in such Il manner that people will
want their friends to die for the sake of
the poetry"
But above ALL continued the ed
itor, "takc bright view of the matter
always. Make TIE sunshine of smiles,
rs it We're, burst through the tempest
Of tears; and if we don't make The
Morni,tg Glory hum around among the
mourners of this town, my name is not
Brimmer."
He was right. 1t did hum.
The next day Remington OFT went
on duty, and Brimmer ran down to the
seashore for breath of fresh air. All
through the day the death-notices came
pouring in, and, when one would reach
OFT, he would seize it and study it up
to ascertain the particulars. Then he
would rush up stairs. lock himself in
his room, take down his rhyming die
tionary, run his fingers through his
hair, and hack away for half an hour
at piece of paper until he considered
that he had the poetry in n shape which
would make the stricken family feel
proud of the corpse. When his days
work was done, OFT went home with
conviction that The Morning Glory had
finally robbed death of it's terrors, and
made life comparatively valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the Office for the purpose of
embalming in sympathetic verse the
memories of other departed ones. As
he came near to the establishment he
observed crowd of five or six thousand
people in front of it, struggling to get
into the door. Climbing tree, he
overlooked the crowd, and could see
within the office the clerks selling pa
pers as fast as they could handle them,
while the mob pushed and jammed and
yelled in frantic efforts to obtain copies
the presses in the meanwhile clanr-
ing away like mad. Upon the curb
stone in front of him there was line
of men stretching down the street for
four squares, each one engaged in read
ing The Jio'ni,g Glory with an earnest
ness that Mr.. OFT had never before seen
displayed by the patrons of that sheet.
He went around to the back of the
Office and assembled to the editorial
rooms. Ashe approached the sanctns,,
loud voices voices were heard within.
MIR. OFT determined to astertain the
cause before entering. He obtained
chair, and, placing it by The, side door
he mounted and peeped over the door
through the transOm. There sat J. AL
fred Brimmer holding THE M,,,,;no Ga