davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

eB-"I'm willing to split hairs with my
opponent all day if he insists upon it,"
said very distinguished lawyer in speech
at the bar.
"Split that them" said the opponent
pulling coarse specimen from his own
head.
"May it please the court did not say
bristles.''
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01
H U M 0 R 0 U s
The Verb Sc To Break,


81 begin to understand your language
BETTER" said my French friend, Mr. Ar
court, to me "but your verbs trouble me
still, you mix them SO with your prcpo-
sitions." V 4.t...t ,.c.t 4,
4" am sorry you find them Troublesome
was all could say. Ieu. l.at. sEi
"Isaw our friend Mrs. James just now,"
continued he. "She says she intends to
break doDn housekeeping, Am l right
there ?"
"Break up housekeeping, she must have
said."
40, yes, remember. Break up house.
keeping"
"Why does she do that ?" asked. =
"Because her health is SO broken into"
"Broken dosOn, you should say"
"Broken doson, 0, yes. And indeed
since the smallpox has broken up in your
city" ''
"Broken out" S'd'
"she thinks she will leave it for few
weels'' ti''i' A
"Indeed And will she close her houseP"
"No; she is afraid it will be broken
broken-How do I say thatP''
"Broken into" a'' '''H i"
Certainly, it is what I meant to say"
els her son to be married soon ?"
''No that engagement is broken bro
ken
"Broken off,"
"Ah had not heard that. She is very
sorry about it. Her son only broke the
news down to her last week. Am l right {?
am so anxious to speak the English well" :"
&C He merely broke the news no prepo-
sition this time"
"It is hard to understand. That young
man, her son, is fine fellows breaker, /
Think
GA broker, and a very fine fellow
Good-day."
$50 much," thought l, for the verb
to break."'
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

eB"A cruel joke was lately played upon
an amateur florist Of San Francisco. His
next door neighbor buried rat in a flower
pot, leaving the tail protruding from the
earth and trained to stick, and then pre-
sented 1t to him as a rare specimen of cac-
tus. The lover of flowers carefully watch
ed and watered his new acquisition for
several days, but at last his wife pulled the
thing up by the roots, and he discontinued
friendly relations with the joker.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

GB-It is related of certain minister,
who was noted for his long sermons, with
many divisions, that one day when he was
advancing among the teens, he reached at
length kind of resting place in his dis
course, when, pausing to take breath, he
asked the question: "And what shall
say moroP" -
A voice from the congregation earnestly
responded, "Say amen P'
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

rB-" DON'T you think" asked con-
oeited fiddler of critic "that can play
the fiddle like PaganiniG" Yes" said
the critic, "or any other ninny."
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

cY-"Ef de white folks be as dark as
dat out dar," said negro who was gazing
at some japanese in California, 81 won
der what is de color OBJ de black folks 9''
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

eB-" know gal SO modest, Sam, dat
she ordered her beau out OBJ de house."
"What for?' "Bekase, in conversation
ON dc subjec' OBJ de wedder he said the
wind had shifted"
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01
COTSO31'S stellar OIL
FOR a
ILLUMINATING PURPOSES.

The proprietor of this Oil has for several years
felt the necessity of providing for and presenting
TO the public, as a substitute for the dangerous
compounds which are sent broadcast over the
country, an oil that Is SAFE and BRILLIANT,
and entirely reliable. After long series OF labo-
rious and costly experiments, he has succeeded In
psaSstufs ia ana oST Eli Oi "'n
should be used by every family .
lST, Because it is safe beyond question. The
primary purpose in the preparation OF STELLAR
OIL has been to make it PERFECTLY SAFE,
thus insurlng the lives and property Of those who
use It,
I'D, Because 1t is the most BRILLIANT liquid H.
uminator now known.
Sd, Because it is more economical, in the long
run, than any of the dangerous oils and fluids
now in too common use.
4TH, Because it is intensely BRILLIANT, and
therefore economical, giving the greatest posi-
BILE light at the least expenditure TO the consum-
er. Its present standard OF SAFETY AND
BRILLIANCY will always be maintained, ,-foI
upon this the proprietor depends for sustaining
the high reputation the STELLAR OIL now
enjoys.
To prevent the aduteration of this with the ex
plosiYe compounds now known under the name Of
kerosene, &c., &c, 1t Is put up for family use IL
Five Gallon cans, each can being sealed, ant
stamped with the trademark of the proprietor; Il
cannot be tampered with between the manufac
tnrer and consumer. None Is genuine without the
STELLAR OIL is sold only by weight, each car
containing iiye gallons OF six and half pounds
Y dutg dVST c al dealers 5
consumers OF illuminating oil TO use the STELLAI
OIL only, because 1t alone Is known to be safe an(
| reliable.
rA- All orders should be addressed to
/ ~NHn
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01

eB-" That's a very stupid brute of yours
john" said Scotch minister to his parish
oner the peat-dealer, who drove his mer-
chandise from door to door in small cart
drawn by donkey 81 never see you but
the creature is braying." "Ah, sir, said
the peat-dealer, eye ken the hearts warm
when friends meet.'
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-10-01
rB- Young Gent: might ask you

E3S Young Gent: Might ask You,
miss--ah-"
Miss every sorry, sir but | am en-
gagged for the next three Dances"
Young Gent; "It is not dancing-ah-
it is-it's-beg pardon, miss you are
sitting on my hat"
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON, February lO.-SumneI
has succeeded in his desireto kill am
nesty. To him belongs the RESPONSE
bility of the defeat Of the measure. The
bill failed to receive the necessary vote
because he persisted in his civil rights
amendment to it.
The ways and means committee are
endeavoring to reach the result on the
reduction of internal reyenae taxation.
The senate committee on foreign re-
lations expect to finish to-day the con-
sideration of the case of Charles Hale,
recently nominated for assistant secre-
tary Of state.
The house judiciary committee to-day
decided that they did not want to con-
slider the charges Of fraud in the assign
ments in the Central Branch Pacific
railroad case, and will ask to be dis
charged from that subject.
The condition Of Senator Davis at this
writing---l2 mis- quite favorable, and
it is not thought any alarming symptoms
were developed to-day. f
A circular was issued from the inter-
nal revenue bureau to-day calling atten-
ton of distillers to the law prohibiting
them from putting any foreign substance
or csloring matter in liquor, and thereby
encroaching on the rights Of rectifers.
All the cabinet ministers were present
ct o cabinet meeting, except Delano,
Yesterday morning. The session was
short one.
The bill that passed the senate author
izing the secretary of the treasury to
call in the outstanding three per cents
at the rate OF 100000 per month, while
it accords with the secretary's theory of
contraction, is not favorably received
from the fact that it interferes with his
plans. He already has authority for
calling in all the three per cents, of
which there are only about $l7OOO,OOO
outstanding, and he desires to continue
to do SO in his own way.
Commissioner Douglas has prepared
his decision in the New York Central.
railroad dividends case, but will not
make it public till sometime next week.
The jury in the case of W. B. Stokes,
charged with receiving money for prose
cutting claims against the government
while he was a member of congress,
failed to agree, and were discharged.
They stood nine for conviction and three
for acquittal.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
NEW YORK.

NEw YonK, February lO.-A Wash
ington special to the Times says il is
understood to be untrue that any reply
has been prepared to Lord Granville's
note, which has not as yet been received
at the state department. The contents
of Lord Granville's note are known to
be just as foreign to the threatenings Of
Gladstone's speech and the British press
as can be. There is not the slightest
intimation that disruption of the con-
ference must follow. The subject OF
the note is simply the difference Of opin-
ion which has arisen as to whether the
admission Of indirect claims is covered
by the treaty.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
The PIIrtlng arand Duke.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer MARBLES
as follows:
Louisville, at present, seems to lay
over all other American cities in the
prettiest girl business. Alexis found
such an enchantingly lovely creature at
the big ball there that he stuck TO her
like piece of veneering all the eve
ning-waltzed, quadrilled, promenaded,
chatted, and ate with her TO the entire
exclusion Of the remaining chunks OF
Kentucky beauty, which we're lying
around promiskus.' The yodng lady
had an escort Of her own, but the car
roty gent, being q duke, could msnopo-
lie her away from the poor serf in ques-
ton. Alexis appears to have made il
all right, however, by sending old Pos.
siet to the chap, after the ball was over,
TO say that his girl was the handsomesi
one be had seen in North America.
The grand duke seems to be a most
successful diplomat in fashionable life.
In St. Louis, Omaha, Kansas City, Mem
phis, in fact everywhere, he has discov.
cred the "prettiest CIR" Can it be pos
sible that Alexis is a male fiirt and the
discovery Of the girl Of his heart il
always made wheR he ogles his las
partRer2 Let US hear from Mobile ant
New Orleans.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10

HENRY WARD BEEcHER, whose politl-
cal orthodoxy cannot be questioned,
saws in the Christian Union, in reference
to the policy of excluding Southerners
from participation in political affairs, as
as follows: 1--WE commend tothe atten-
ton of the gentlemen who are afraid OF
amnesty the present condition of Louis
lana. Are the holders of political power
in that community such select and
yirtuous class that the admission of ex-
secessionists would lower the average
quality2 In fact, was there q sect OF
more worthless Adventures than those
who are wrangling over the offices in
New orleans2 Have we not had evil
dence enough of the wretched misgov-
eminent of half the South2 Since we
cannot directly cure it, let US at least
leave the people perfectly free to do the
best they can for themselves. Let us
not shut out all their old and trusted
leaders from the offices which the veriest
riff.raf are free to enter. We are ex-
Guiding all this class, the most intelli-
gent, capable men in the South-for sup
porting a cause which the whole white
population supported Surely it is time
for this injustice and folly to end.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
PUBLIC LEDGER.
WHAT THE SOUTH WOULD DO.

1t is barely possible that the question
of the Alabama claims may result in
conflict between America and England.
The Geneva arbitration will probably
settle the matter of damages in friendly
manner, Notwithstanding the ferocity
of the English and Northern Radical
press. A war between the two nations
would be fraught with evil to both, what
ever might be the final issue OF the ar
bitrament of the sword. Should war en-
sue, how would the people of the South
stand affected toward it2 The Louis
vile Courier-Journal states the answer
frankly and truly: Without at all
intending to depreciate the character
of the Northern people, we hold that
it is fact not to be disputed that the
people of the fifteen Southern States
constitute by all odds the most warlike
race on the continent. For four years
they held at bay by the mere force OF
determined resolve and desperate cour-
age armies which were to them as an
hundred to one, and at last gave up only
because they were utterly worn out and
exhausted by the struggle. Undismayed
by trials and sufferings that would have
broken the spirit of any other people,
the South was found ready to storm a
fort mount breach, or take part in the
deadly charge up to the last moment
when surrender to the inevitable was
preferred to humiliation. None know
better than Grant and his advisers
the importance Of securing the
sympathy and cooperation of the
Southern people in a foreign war. War
with Great Britain on the issue pre-
scented might and perhaps would be pop
ular with New England, for New Eng
land has been anxious for such an event,
in order to cut off competition in her
manufactures pretty much ever since
the time when blue lights we're displayed
from her coasts as a signal to the public
enemy. The Middle and Western States
would have nothing to gain, and much
to lose, by such contingency. And as
for the people of the Southern States,
they have not been so justly or gene
rously dealt with since, in good faith,
they laid down their arms, at the termi-
nation Of the late civil strife. to enter
with any great enthusiasm upon this quar-
rel of President Grant and MS friends.
Had different policy been pursued it
might be that the men Of the South
would respond, with the alertness they
have never failed to show where the ma
tional honor was at stake, to the rallying
cry, even though the point at issue were
what it is. But it. under any circum-
stances, they could forget, in patriotic
enthusiasm, that the question of dispute
between the United States and Great
Britain grows out Of the countenance
given by the latter to the Confederate
cause, they will scarcely do so as the mat
ter stands. The sympathy and aid Of the
oppressed people of the South, we con-
clude, therefore, can hardly be expected
by Grant and his cabinet If, rs we do
not at all believe, they seriously contem-
plate the Inauguration Of hostilities
against Great Britain on account Of the
Alabama claims"
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10

The New York papers are loud in
their condemnation of crime in the me-
tropolis. One Of them truly insists that
there is no punishment for thieves and
embezzlers in the city of New York.
Private property in New York city is at
the mercy of the public officials New
York city, as general thing, is under
the dominion of knavas and thieves.
Murder may be committed there with
impunity, provided the murderer is rich
enough to afford it. Hanging for muir
der in New York is played out" The
cheapest thing in New York is the best
legal advice.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10

GENERAL BUTLER has adduced the
strongest argument yet presented against
the removal of the capital. He remarked
in a speech the other day that Washing
ton was an unhealthy place, and if
the capital remained where it was,
there would be a larger percentage Of
mortality among congressman" II, by
any known means the percentage OF
mortality could be increased so as to in
clude Butler and other haters Of the
South, it might be hailed as the dawn Of
the political millennium.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
LATEST TELEGRAMS.
FOREIGN.

LONDON, February l0.-War is not ap-
pretended, but the bitter correspondence
resulting in the renaneiption Of the
treaty leaves both nations dissatisfied.
The Times this morning Is morally
convinced Of the failure Of arbitration.
DUBLIN, February lO.-The Fenian
Lilly has been sentenced to imprison
ment for attempting to shoot Constable
Mullen Z. ErrlA ala.rE WIN
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
BALD EAGLE STOKES ON TRIAL.

A special telegram to the Cincinnati
Commercial informs us that ex-Con-
gresham William Stokes is on trial at
Washington before Judge Carter, on in
dictment for receiving money illegally
and corruptly. A number of witnesses
have been examined. Captain Beatty
commander Of a company, for whose
benefit Stokes obtained the passage Of a
bill for bounty, testified that he paid
Stokes twenty-eight hundred dollars COM
mission on money paid him. A son Of
Captain Beatty also paid Stokes a large
amount of money as commissions. Let
tiers from Stokes we're read in which he
urged the boys not to forget him, and
acknowledging the receipt of several
thousand dollars for prosecuting claims.
Judges Hawk and Crawford, and Emer
son Ethridge, testified to the good char
acter Of Stokes. So far the testimony
has a damaging appearance. The de
cision of the court viii be given in a few
days, and settle the question whether OF
not the Bald Eagle Of the mountains il
guilty as charged in the Indictment.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
Aeeiasnt ON shs Illinois ~ Centred

BLooxISGroS, Ills, February 9.-The
freight train due at ten o'clock this
morning on the Illinois Central rail
road was thrown from the track by q
broken railbetween FL Paso and Kappa.
Conductor Charles Blansard is reported
killed, his body being buried beneath
the wreck of seven cars. The track is
badly torn, and three cars lie cross ways
over it. Trains win be delayed several
hours. v..
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
The Ohio EmbeEzIers.

HAMILTON, o., February lO.-The
case of the State VS.. John c. Lindley,
George T. Elliott aud Peter Schwabb,
indicted for embezElement growing out
Of the late treasury defalcstions, were
this morning submittedtO the jury on
special pleas In bar, and under charge
Of the court the jury, after ten minutes
deliberation, returned verdict for the
defendants.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10

Transfers OF Real Estate In shelby
County for the Week ending Feb
ruary e. 1879.
Reported for the Public LzpoIR by Sears a
Greeley. Abstract. oiiice. Room No. 8,
County Court Building.
SATURDAY. FEBRuARy3
w L pavi. to J B Armour, lot No. IA. Peter
miles south Of Memphis. $3.50.
John Pope. By executors, TO Anthony. Popo.
lot No. dicision Oaks Riantat,,onss os ee On
APhi osss. ECpssS q pS Aamosr c IN No.
block 2, Fort Pickering, $780,.
ia Giltnsr and wife TO J W and B y Dick
inson, lots Nos. Sand I, division Of Manning
estate. 236x609 feet, $3.50.
MONDAY, FEBRuARrs.
&C Atkinson. by executors. to John L Nor
ton, A1SxlSS feet, south side Of Adams street.
west Of High, three story brick. $3.50;
Thomss H CaTsill to A J Woodward, lot 8.
Dan Able. By sheriff. to Jas Holmes. 6ox
ltsh feet, sou. south side Pigeon hoost Road. plat
Nf TUESDAY. FEBRUARY 6.
Charles Jones 10 Henry Allen, 5S1Sx150 feet.
on DuBose street. part Of lot IS. Dunn tract.
81 jd Sc ss's,9 s;, e P F Young. fifty acres.
'ij'il'i Sc Sss 4 sis'f e. McGaushey. fifty
Gin Jackson to John Cook, 7oxsO feet, part
Of lot "a. Dunn division, hospital ave-
nue.. Sll00. iaN 900 r iN
- WEDNESDAY. FEBRuARY7.
VIM II Bridges to John 4 Randle. ,42x74
feet. southeast St.. corner Of Exchange and Sec
W ii Mcdonald to M Hunt, lot No. II. ] M
Tate's division, 52xl55 feet. $500. l ra
ets THURSDAY. FEBRUARY
WI Ward to DR. N Blackwell. lOOxle0 feet
In Bartlett, 5000.
W O Gurley to Hartley 4 Gurley. lots Nos.
]. 2, 9 and IN block d. Fort Pickering. each
Mrs Mary Wallace, by tax collector, TO ] d
Danberry. 7ox2lS feet on south side Of Union
street. east Of Church, S84 SO.
Jas Corey, II, .t to W Hamilton. LIS acres
EB searcy, By Sheriff. to & M Apperson 4
90, 25xl25 feet on west side Of Main street. so
feet north of Linden street, e5l6. u.uli
: Ralph Hathaway to Ben Bum (copdD, S
acres near Bartlett, $3.50.
Heirs Of 4 Stewart to Mrs 2 A Thompson.
l5Ox277h feet. known as the Ware place on
fernando road. $4,000.
FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 3. r.l
lot 81 m. Skis feet on Chickasaw street $500.
VIM P Stewart to A Phillips. 90 acres in the
James Corey TO s Walker. 9Sx217 feet
southwest corner Hawley and: Town Reserve
streets, $500.
VIM Bruce to Joseph and N Bruce. ASK
l4Slz feet. known as Bruce's carriage factory.
on Monroe street, $50, 900.
Lcake 4 Irby to 4 ] Saunders, lot 7. Collier
vile, 30x100 feet. 1896. ifll-
odS;4 SHsn SSsCS g J;sis ADDeO'rry lot
Samuel Vance. BY EXT Z L Topp. to Bronson
Bayliss, 4 $500 acres on Kerr avenue, $3.50.
Total amount of sales. SS7, l16 81. l
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
Sentenced 90 the PenI1sntIary,

PoSTIAo, III, February l0.-The trial
Of Frederick Schafer for the murder o.
Alvin Won Ponwise, near Wight station
on the ed Of January, which has been
progressing for the past two days, re-
suited in verdict Of guilty Of murder.
and the jury assigned him TO the peni-
Tertiary for ten years.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
mHu an.n OF RErHLEHEM.

In the London journals there IS pro
crossing curious and scientific discus
sion respecting the nature of the light
or rather the luminous appearance
called "a star" which guided the wise
men to Bethlehem, as narrated IN the
gospel. To such as accept the scriptu-
raj narrative literally, such a discussion
no doubt, seems irreverent, IT not pro-
fame. Yet the clearest minds OF Eng
land have been turned to its investiga-
ton. Many will, no doubt, be surprised
10 learn that there are ten hypothesis
started ON this ancient subject, and
these are: |. That it was literally q
star out Of the heavenly bodies, and Sc
lecteA for the purpose of guiding the
wise men. 2. That it was o new star,
created expressly. 3, That it was an
old star, blazing forth into sudden bril-
liancy, as has happened more than once.
A That it was one Of the planets. D..
That it was conjunction Of planets.
G That it was a comet Z. That 1t
was a meteor s. That it was atmos-
pberic luminosity. Q. That it was an
angel. 10. That it was celestial
manifestation. Ancient legends favor
the last two, but modern science prefers
to deal with the astronomical aspects oil
the question, and some Of these are in
teresting enough. In 1872 Tycho Brache
witnessed star appear suddenly and
swell out to such brilliancy that it was
visible at noon. Another instance oc-
Cured in 1904 third in 1910, when
star faded out and revived several times
during two years, and a fourth in 1866
when a star Of the ninth magnitude rose
within a few hours to the second maghi-
tude; Kepler believed the phenomenon
to have been a conjunction of planets,
as did DR.. Ideler, the learned chronolo-
eist of Berlin. The most exhaustive in
vestigation, however, has been at fault
in tracing back by a series of calcula-
tons to place the planets in conjunction
at the time of the nativity. Of the ten
theories started, those numbered three
and five have the best claims to a scien-
tifc basis, assuming that science has
to do with the phenomenon.
The safest and easiest method of dis
posing of the question is as simple mir
acle, since the would-be scientific ex-
have proven failures.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-02-10
proclamation.

To our Loyal sad Well beloved Subjects:
GREErISG-0ur royal cousin, His
Nibbs," ye Duke Of Texts, having de-
parted for the Crescent, we, the only
sovereign within ye bounds Of be bayous,
hereby assume ye crown. Our wise and
loyal ministers in council assembled
have decreed that ye Knights Of ye
Cleaver abstain from duty in honor Of
our coronation. WOMB
Now, therefore BY the power in us
vested as King Of ye Carnival, Prince Of
Misrule, Master Of Shanny Hack, Grand
Duke Pay" nix, ETC., We command
Ye Knights Of ye Tapeline,
We Knights Of ye Exchequer,
Ye Knights Of ye Quill,
Ye knights Of ye Razor,
Ye Knights Of ye Scales,
Ye Knights Of ye Ink Sling,
Ye knights Of ye Gin Sling,
and We Last Knights. 70 appear at our
courts in full fancy-dress, to attend the
carnival in our honor. fe are further
commanded on your allegiance. 10 close
your marts at the hour Of three, that
your henchmen, retainers and lunch
grabbers may attend the festival, under
the penalty Of being compelled 70 CARRY
A CARD OF INVITATION to ye grand duke'l
ball.
Given under our hand and signet thiI
Mardi-Gras, 1871 the first Of our reign,
MoxUs," Rex Carnival