The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-03-14
IRMs $500 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE
Written for the Portland Transcript.
Letter from Ethan Spike.
COUNTY JAIL, March, 1877

eOnQ0Ia-
tion / find in the reflection that whom the
| gods love they oilers licks, and that shinin
marks is oftnest hit, think 1 must hey hey
| up the sponge.
l he'd package OF currency frcm New York
| witch the man warranted a little better than
| ginoowine, and for time did prime bust
ness. | were fast gettin to be one ofthe solid
men. But twas ever thus from childhood's
hour. A mean cuss over to Paris he'd me ar
rested on the ground that Mr.. Spinner had
neglected to sign the bills that wer slingn
about; but as l told the sheriff, that want
my fault. I'd just as lives he'd signed 'em,
and would even ask him to now if he thought
best. The sheriff was much struck with my
argument, but thought we'd better go and
ask Squire Pilsbury. The squire committed
me and locked me up in bedroom, but sub
sequently took me out by haybis-korpus, and
tried me in the kitchen, hevin' the coroner
there with eleven others to set ON the case.
Arter hearin' the jury retired and sot onto
me accordin to statoote made und pervided.
the squire previously instructing them If they
had any doubts to decide by turnin a cent.
In about half an hour they returned a verdick
of manslaughter in the seventh degeee. They
also indicted Mr.. Spinner for not signing the
bills.
The squire axed me he'd i nothing to say
why sentence shouldn't be pronounced. /
Sdlu uluIl VI nOlull JcSb Iutlls 1ucu
says he, ''hold up yer right hand" wich
did, and he sentenced me to be hung by the
neck until l was dead-dead! Subsekently,
howsmever, L was let off by payin for the
drinks all rourd.
The squire spent a week or, two in New
York last fall, and got some new idees of law,
rels it might hev gone harder with me.
Bein out of business, thought I'd do lit
tie kew-clucksin. Since the war a good
hac
to the peace and dignity of the common
wealth. One old woolen pertickular he'd the
impudence to buy piece OF land and build a
house inside the lines of our town! The mat
ter was afore our last town meetin, when il
was moved that the Niger be warned out,
but one Of them pison aberlishunests got out a
writ of replevin, trover, sirahfacius, or some
blasted continuance by witch that onsarcum-
sized Kainanite was able to hold on and defy
the town. Idon't know when L felt wus
about anything. To see that nigger every day
goin aboutjss as eff he he'd rights wich white
men was bound to respect, were leetle too
strong by darned SITE The pure Caw-cussin
blood into my veins fairly bued! l am
pure Cawcus; all of the Spikes is. Some ON
us kim over with William the Conquerer in
the Mayfower, and fit into the revolution, Il
don't know on wich side.l One was ketched
in q rat trap during the Shay's rebellion, and
durin our "onpleasantness'' with our South
ern brothring, listed six times in one yeari
You can judge how sich a man must feel
when he sees the descendants of Hem, Sham
and Obedego pollutin the sacred syle of
white mans government, and taintin the
very air of freedom.
didn't know the ceremonies of my South
ern Kew-Klux friends, only that they took an
oath. So l went into the barn and initiated
myself as well as / could, solemnly repeating
seven times them impressive words, Darn a
nigger! The rite, simple as it wer, was NOR
ally elevatin. don't know what wer the
sensations of the martyrs, but I've no doubt
felt likr 'cm-wich added to about pint of
whiskey made me feel ready to sacrifice my
self ON the otter Of. Pve reely forgotten
wOt otter it wer. Any how, was willin.
wish you could hev seen me when went
for that hethen Niger. was ropped up in
buffaler skin, black Grape over my face, pair
OF ram's-horns on my head, and a cow's-tale
fastened onto my-wal-onto tother side of
my trowsis. / callate that uniform would
hev passed muster even in Kentucky. i look
ed terrific, and felt so.
l didn't exactly go for the he-nigger. /
was afeared that, eff my first appearance did
MT frighten him out of his senses, he might
lick me; for the pison critter is strong as a
hoss. So waited ontill the old merino had
gone to his work more'n mild off, an then
bore down on his house. Some may indeed
have called this cowardly-I call it stratergy
-stratergy was oilers my high point.
Araid in all my terrors 1 bust in the mig
gers door, and stood in all my terribleness
afore the occupants. / he'd callated the She
nigger would faint, but she only looked calm
ly up from her work-she wer bilin letters
and says she, "Who dat?'
In deep sepulkral voice-so sepulkral that
it enamost scarf myself said, 'Pm white
mans government. E pluribus unum. Di-
rigo scatp'
''Ps done don't want none your rye and
onions," says she, lookin inter her tetter pot,
"and scat yerselfr' says she.
Her calmness was aggravatin, and roarin,
''Pm the divilv' / made grab at her But
good Lord! you orter seen that female Ethi-
opican! She jest crooked herself into an an
gle of 40 degrees and planted her head right
into my breadbasket with sich hearty good
will, that was persuaded to set down and
rest in tub OF suds that sot behind me. Not
content with that, the vindictive old merino
butted me out of that, out of the house, and
over the hog-pen fence, and / fell ker-swosh
into-wal. not into bed of roses. She final
ly wound up her ongodly performances by
emptyin slOp-pail onto me, so't when / fl
nally crawled out, wer hardly presentable in
first-elass society. Indeed, so fur as mere
personal appearance and gineral fitness of
things goes, wer best adapted to the society
left in the stye,-and l couldn't help feelin
so myself
Wearily and wofully 1 wended homeward,
pondering on sthe onsartinty of subloonary
things and the mootoobility of eventooalities,
when right in the middle of the woods came
athort of a little Niger diggin tor hearty
chokes. felt at onst there wer providence
into it. Jest remarkin to him casually, that
l looked upon him as a ram ketched in
thicket, licked him ontil both on us gin eout.
Durin the lamin l endeavored to inculcate
moral lessons into him. / spoke feelinly of
of cusses of Kanun and Hem and Sham, and
reminded him that he and his'n had no part
into white mans government. Little mig
ger boy" says /, "accept the sitooation. Re
member Washington and never tell lie. Be
vertoous, and you'll grow upto be an ape and
a blessin to your cussed old mother"
Now put it to you, as between man and
man, under all the circumstances, wernt l
justified in hckin this Kananite spoon? Re-
member my hull dierfram and contiguous
parts was sore from the buttin of his internal
old she mother, while was tryin to restore
the CONSTRUCTION as it was. And yet Pm
locked up here ON the charge of saltin and
batterin one small igger. Pm also accused
| of hOusbreakin, Burglary, and saltin onpro-
tected female. / only wish them as syma-
thise with that delightful speciment of the di-
vine sect could get about three licks of her
worsted head into their dierframs. Mebby
they wouldn't realize the unprotected much.
1 think not.
1 now sollemnly give up the country. In
my umble way Pve tried to save it, but here
formally heave up the sponge.
III fares the land to Fastening woes pray
When niggers rise and sich as decay"
I'll never support Gineral Grant agin. l
never did. If ever 1 git out of this, l shall
shake the dust of Maine from my feet. Ishall
go to Kentucky and::cast in my lot with the
parsecuted but indomitable saints of" Con-
federate X Roads, Pll be another Roger
Williams and pilgrim forefather.
Yours in bonds ETHAN SPIKE.