The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1872-09-05
vexations OF a Front Yard.

texattons of q Front Yard
we have recently moved into a house
tnat has front yard. We have ALWAYS
iived In houses whose front yard was the
street. Children will play in the yard
whether there is street running throuph
1t or not. After two or three of them
had barely escaped being run over by
the teams that insisted on running
through our front yard, wife said she
must rent house that hadn't anv street
IN 1t. SO We did. But Lordl the ohil-
t1r dren didn't make any account OF it.
Ihey are IN the streets as much as ever,
acoumulating their daily supply of mar
row escapes.
Wife said the yard looked bare with.
out shrubs, and flowers, and vines. I
limited that little grasa would help it.
TOO. She asked me if I knew where I
could get some, and told her knew
little grass widow, on the next street. if
she would do. retreated, followed by
the rolling pin.
One morning, as I was going away,
VIE asked me to bring her few .'an-
nuais wnen l came back. wondered
what she wanted with annuals as I rode
oown Town In the street car, but am
accustomed to blind obedience to her
requests, so when 1 went home at night
brought her some ANIMALS. There wure
''Dr. Jayne's Medical Almanac" re.
member, and the "Odd Fellows Annual
Offering" and "New Years Address"
for 1862, and the "Birth- Day Gift" and
numerous annual addresses before apri
cultural associations thut had accumu-
lated on my hands.
"dood gracious" exclaimed Alrs.
Doggs, (she never swears like that unless
under great excitemont,) "what have
you brought me?"
''Annuals, Mrs. Boggs," said I. .You
said you wanted some annuals, and here
they are."
Then Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing
and cried, "Why. you old fool you, 1--WE
nave been married twenty years, but
Mrs. Is. calls me pet names yet, the an.
nuals l mean are flowers, suoh as YER
benas, pansies. dsises, morning glories.
mlgnonette. and tho like, to set out in
our front yard" Then she took all the
annuais l had been at so much pains to
collect and set them out in the back
yard among other rubbish.
Ihe next morning che asked me if
thought I could get her some roses for
the front yard. Told her knew a man
VINO had got lot of carly rose potatoes,
but 1t wasn't the right time for setting
them out. Il have an idea that the
ground is much better employed in rails
ing potato than in raising a flower.
unless it be barrel of hour) Wife
said l hadn't bit of taste. She then
gave me memoranda of roses she
wanted. [ was busy all day, but just as
l was about taking car for home
thought of the roses. I referred to the
memoranda and found the following:
"Get few geraniums, fuchias, hello
trope, roses, bourbon, running rose.
Prairie Queen, golden tea plant. vines
English ivy, Wandering Jew, seeds. ETC."
studied it hard, but it was slightly
noomprehensible. She had evidently
got things mixed up. However, 1 went
to florists and told hir shat wanted.
Said L: "Give me few geraniums and
few she's. and"
"a few what?" asked the flower man.
looking very puzzled.
"a few she's, said I, turning yey red.
l know, for I couldn't tell for the life
OF me what my wife wanted OF a few
she's about the place, as she never could
i've IN the same house with another wo-
man.
AS the florist looked more staggered
than over, 1 handed him the memoranda,
when he bursted into loud laugh.
"Why, man." he cried, sits fuchias
she wants!" and then he roared again.
"Weli, whatever it is. give me cou-
plo OF yards of it, anyhow, front and
back yard, too"
You see I was mad.
l got the things the memoranda
seemed to call for at various places, and
went home.
Here. Mrs. Boggs." said I, testify,
"nre the things for your front yard"
why, what is this?" she cried. as T
thrust two-gallon Jug upon her among
other things.
Bourbon, my dear; found it on the
memoranda. Pretty thing to set out in
the front yard, though. How long do
you spose it'll stay there, with the neigh
bors we've got?"
"Boggs. you are an internal -; that
memorandum was Bourbon Rose. ;
But what is this nasty little book?"
holding up dime novel, with highly
coiored title-page, representing q gor-
mustang.
That? Why, You ordered it, didn't