Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-03-14
Il Na6oJ's Visit to Nesc York.
ny MARK TWAIN.


rent the story of All adventure of two
o. her nabobs, which may or may not
have occurred. give 1t for what it
| is worth:
Colonel jim had seen somewhat of
the world. and knew more or less OF
its ways; but Colonel Jack was far
from the back settlement of the
States, had led life of ardGons toll
and had never seen city.
These two blessed with sudden
wealth, projected visit to New
York Colonel Jack TO see the sights,
aud Col. jim to guard his msopmst.
cation from misfortune. They reached
San Francisco in the night and sailed
in the morning, Arrived in New
York, Col. Jim said
I've heard tell OF carriages all my
life, and now | mean to have a ride
in one, | don't care what 1t c. gcome
along"
They stepped on the sidewalk aud
Col. Jim called stylish brouche.
But Col Jack said:
"No, sir; none Of your cheap John
turnonts for me. I'm here to have a
good time, and money amt any OBJ
ject. | mean to have the nobbic st
rig that's going. Now here comes
the very trick. Stop that yaIler one
with the pictures oa it--don't YOU
tret--I stand all the expenses my
self"
SO Colonel Jim stopped IN empty
omnibus and they got in. Said Col.
Jack:
Amt it gay, though ? oh, no, |
reckon not! Cushions and windows
and pictures til! you can't rest,
What would the boys say ifthry
could see us cutting swell like this
in New York ? by George, wish
they could see US.
Then he put h:s head out Of the
window and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits me =
suits yours truly, you bet You! wan,
this shebang all day I'm on IT, old
man. Let 'em out! Make 'em 90 !,
Wen mako i. all right to you,
sonny "
The driver passed his hand through
the strap. hole and tapped for his fare
1t was before the gongs came into
common nae. Colonel Jack took the
hand aud shook it cordially. He
| said;
You twigg me, old pard ! All
right between gents. Smell OF that
and see how YOU like it I"
Aud he put a twenty dollar piece
ia the drivers hand. After a mo.
mpnt the driver said he could not
make change,
Bother the change Ride it out.
Put it in your pocket"
Then TO Colonel Jim with sound
ing slap on his thigh:
Amt it style, thought Hanged
if l don't hire this thing every day
for q week"
The omnibus stopped and young
lady got in, Col, Jack stared for
moment then nudgod Colonel jim
WIN lllN NbDVN
"Don't say word" he whisper
ed "lct her ride if she wants to.
Gracious there's room enough"
The young lady got out her port
,nonnaie, and handed her fare to Col.
Jack.
What's this Cor ?" he said.
Give it to the driver, please"
"Take back your money, madam,
We can't allow it. You are welcome
to a ride here as you please, but the
shebang is chartered we Shant let
you pay cent"
The girl shrank into corner be
wildered.
An old lady with Lasket climbed
in and prolicred her fare.
Excuse mc,' said Colonel Jack.
You arc perfectly welcome here,
madam, but we can't allow You TO
pay. Sit right, right down there,
mum, and don't you feel uneasy.
Make yourself as free as if you were
in your own turnout"
Within three minutes three gentle.
men, two Fat women and couple of
children entered.
Come right along, friends" SAID
Colonel Jack "don't mind ns. This
lis a free hlo S.ou,," Then he whis.
pcred TO Colonel jim, " New York
amt no sociable place, ! don't reck.
on i. ain't no name for it,"
He resisted every effort to pay fares
to the driver, and made everybody
cordially welcome. The situation
dawned on the people, and they
pocketed their money and delivered
themselves up TO covert enjoyment at
III. episode. Half a dozen more
passengers entered.
Oh, there is plenty Of r"om," said
Col. Jack. Walk .!gat in and
make yourself at home. A blow out
amt worth anything as blowout
unless a body has company" They,
in a whisper to Col. jim; =" but amt
these New Workers friendly? And
amt they cool abou, it too Icebcrgs
ain, anywhere. | reckon they'd
tackle q hearsc, if it was going their
way"
More passengers 60. in, more yet.
and still more. Both seats were filed
and a file Of men were standing up