The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1872-09-19

stragglerS ABOUT every camp apo sent
them free to Louisville. Mr.. Erret
answered his chief that tickets cos
money, and be had not the cash just a
hand. He reported that be had del
egation mustered in for ten days, and a.
long thereafter as pay and rations could
be kept up laughter but they mus
have transportation. II was promptly
furnished by Cameron. A relative o
President Grant engaged q band, and al
went to Louisville as merry as q mar
riage bell. Laughter
The Convention at Louisville openes
rather inauspiciously. Instead Of be-
ginning with prayer, as is usually done
Mr. Blanton Duncan opened it with q
bar-room brawl, in which he probably
would have whipped the other fellow
il the other fellow had not very prompt
ly whipped him. Shouts Of laughter
And, while the chivalrous Duncan wa:
accepting flogging in Louisville, one
OF the hope ul brothers in law of the
President opened the ball at the other
end OF the line by clubbing an editor
who was bowed by the frosts of sixty
winters. Renewed laughter. The
preliminary skirmishes being over the
immortal Duncan called his warriors
into council, and informed them OF their
duty. He told them how much he had
not received for not selling out to Gree
ley, and how many millions it would
require to transfer his Fslstaffian arm y
to either side.
VIRGINIA ANTEDILUvlAN,
who hai been tenderly booked on the
Res buttons OF '9S, presided, and the
programme was Proceeded with, &C.
cording to contract, ss rapidly as could
he done. with some appearance Of de-
Liberation. Now and then . dele.
gate who had been captured and en-
rolled without bounty laughter would
attempt to speak mis- own thoughts, but
he was out OF order Train flashed
upon the gathering like a Iull moon
upon a pile of s,ale mackerel laugh
ter and, not being commercial in pol
itics, he was driven from the body.
Finally, The ticket contracted and
paid Cor by Cameron, Tweed, Morton d
Co., was nominated, but it would moi
stand. OConor had convictions oil biz
} own, but he WAS not or sale, and ADJ
ans would die only in the arms o1
UConor Laughter AS there were
no reshuary legatees contracted for In
the shape OF candidates, the contractors
were brought to a stand. 1t wa.
OConor and cash, or nobody and moth
ing TIaughter]; and the Convention
broke into disorder at the prospect o
losing their wages.
In lucid interval the venerable
antediluvian from Virginia, who wa.
in the chair, was unanl lmously declared
NOMINATED FOR PRESIDENT;
but there was nothing 10 it laughter
and it was called joke. 1t was nat.
ural that 90 serious a calm as followed
the declination Of the candidates con-
tracted for should be succeeded by
comedy. If cash was to be denied them
they would have their fun, and they
ioked Lyons on the ticket. But mer
can not always joke. Jokes wont pay
grocery bills or clothe the baby laugh
teri and soberuess returned to the rem
nsnt of the contractors. Many left ir
disgust to save hotel bills, and gave
their proxies to Duncan; but the con-
vention, finding that he contract wa.
about to lail, avenged themselves or
their chief contractor by denying him
the right to cast votes tor those who
had concluded they were missed a.
home.
Finally, in utter desperation, the con
tractors again nominated the only two
men tney knew would not accept
and in haste rushed f'r their homes
and the paymaster's. Laughter A
Convention O. employed adventurer'
without constituency, fitly closed with.
out candidates, and now it has dissolved
among the people, and is like twice
told tale. 1t has made all previous
bread and butter Conventions ant
bripades measurably respectable, anc
has given the country the lowest depths
OF political chicsnery that has ever beer
sounded. Applause,
The country will well note the fac
that from but one source d"es encour
agement come to the restless. fathles'
men who refuse obedience TO the nov
irrevocablv settled issues OF the war
When all parties and all sections have
Welded sincere obed' to the log'ca
results OF our conflict, the Grant Ad'
ministration has the only proffer o.
welcome and encouragement for unre-
pc ntant rebels. Toombs, Stephens, Wise
Harris, and their ass 'ciates, who con-
rinue the war sgainet fate, are hsuntet
before the public through Grant jour
mails, with editorial plsudits, and they
are cbeere1 in their professed devotion
to the Lost Cause" only by the Gran
party, and none have been deceived by
the enlistment O. Tweed, Poneroy
Connolly and OBrien in the Grant
Louisville movement
1t was as much the movement o
Cameron, and Morton, and Conkling
and Chandler and Butler, as was the
Philsdelphia Convention. and GRAM
1 managers undisguisedly drummed ~
its pretended delegates and paid tn.
bills II is a fitting crown to the bold
monument OF Administration debsuch
ery that the few blatant traitors Of th'
South and the discarded Tsmmany
municipal harlots Of the North shoulc
rush to the Grant ranks to find genial
aud abundant championship in death
| [Cheers and applause.
Co. >e ~. n~.nt nau ora vopo q p,