Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-04-15
Twice an April Fool.
BY S. ANNIE FROST.

wv nat are you uOlnS, Dert
Herbert Ireton looked up from his oe-
cupation. He had been carefully pen
ming few lines upon sheet of snowy
paper and evidently trying to disguise
his handwriting.
Copy that for me, that's Il good fell
low. and I will tell you all about it.
''Give me your pen and fresh sheet
of paper" replied Mark Leslie, his
friend, and in few moments he tossed
over the result of his labors.
Now direct this envelope to Herbert
Ireton, ESQ.,"
"Yourself?"
mo. 27 Elm Row.
s.Oh your uncle
"Now, [ will fold and seal this, and
then tell you all about it.
Read it, and see if it is all right"
DEAR SIR: Will you oblige me by accepting ham
per of live game, which will send to your residence
this afternoon? A. P RILFooL.
April l, 1850.
"All right. Do you know my uncle,
Mark?
II have heard you speak of him as
an old bachelor of rather crusty temper,
who resides with maiden sister as cross
as himself"
Correct, as far as it goes. Uncle
Herbert, for whom l was named, is not
so very old. about forty years of age,
and Aunt Matte is five years older but
they have lived alone so many years that
all the milk of human kindness is being
curdled in their veins. Sister Amelia
and myself have come to the conclusion
that it is time they were coaxed out of
their seclusion, and, with mothers per-
mission, we are going to try our luck as
doctors for the mind diseased. Last
month our washerwoman died, leaving a
babe seven months old, pretty little
girl, bright and active, but. alas the
eleventh blessing in the family. Her
father has gladly consented to let us
have her. Mother and Amelia have
made her abundance of clothing, and we
are going to pack her in hamper, and
send her to Uncle Herbert. Walt, my
little brother, nine years old, is crazy to
be the messenger. and. after dark this
evening, he and [ will carry the hamp-
er, sending the note by mail this morn
ing"
"Sure enough, it is April FOOLS Day
But suppose your uncle won't accept his
live game p
Mother and Amelia will take her
They will probably have the most care
of her, at any rate. Aunt Matte was
always very kind to us, and mother
thinks she will be perfectly happy to
have baby to pet, now Walt is out
growing jumping jacks and nine pins.
She is always lamenting that he is not a
girl, and ever since father died has been
lavish of pennies and sweetmeats for the
young scamp
eff you want to get that precious
document in this mornings mail, it is
time you started it, said Mark, and the
two young men strolled out together tc
the post-ofice
No. 81 Elm Row was a lovely home
situated about five miles from the heart
of great city, but easily accessible by
stage or carriage. 1t was not a very
large house, a cottage in style, but sub.
stantially built, and finished with every
convenience and comfort that taste coulo
suggest or money procure. The grounds
surrounding it were large, and flowers
fruit, and vegetables grew there in pro
fusion. The fancy little stable accommo
dated cow as well as the two sleek
horses and family carriage, and about
the whole establishment there hung the
air of staid respectability that will hov.
er around single people no longer young
The only break upon the quiet monotony
of the house was when the three young
Iretons-Herbert, Amelia, and Walter
came to visit their uncle and aunt
which was not very often, as they were
averse to the rather strict rules regard
ing flowers, fruit, and the use of the
best furniture.
Mr.. and Miss Ireton, if truth must be
told, although fond of their brothers
widow and children, only half-enjoyeo
any break in the calm monotony of theil
existence and even Walter, his aunt's
favorite, was watched with terrified eye:
when near his uncle's library or hi
aunt's pets. Books were the compan
ions sufficient for the happiness of the
gentleman and birds, rabbits, cats, anc
goldfish for that of the lady. They
lived in perfect harmony, each giving
full scope to his or her peculiarities, anc
each having an ample income for theil
own comforts and many acts of charity
for they were kind-hearted, even if il
manner their gay nephews and niece'
found them formal and precise. On the
| momentous first of April. when such i'm
portant Vaccinations against their peace
were in progress, they were seated a
luncheon, calmly unconscious Of impend
ing ills.
The gentleman, short, stout. and for
id, had been experimenting his garden
er in some horticultural mysteries ant
the lady, also short, stout, and forid
had been finishing an elaborate piece 0
embroidery destined to cover pair 0
ottomans for the drawing room. Th
conversation naturally turned upon thei
occupations, and Miss Matte said, hall
sighing
"Sister Grace and the children ar
coming tomorrow to pass the day, Her
BERT Little did they guess the reason
for the proposed visit.
'.Dear me- hope that young scam
Walter will let my young pear-tree
alone. He almost ruined the apricot
last year with his penknife-the pei
knife you gave him, Matte
Hes only boy" said Miss Matte
indulgently.
You spoil him. said the gentleman
'Who gave him shovel this weel
with which he dug up all my earn;
tions ?" retorted the lady.
Where the discussion would have en-,
ed 1t is impossible to say, but at th;
monapt tbo door o.,o,od o,aJ Tho 10,