The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-04-20
WIT AND WISDOM.

:. BOBBY, why don't your mother sew mp
your trousers = Cause she's at the yes
try, sewing fer the heathen.'
An Irish lover remarked that it great
pleasure to be alone, especially when your
Z swateheart is wid yc.
Boy. where does this road 20 to
" Nowhere, a. knows on. Its alters 9taid
here"
DURI~G our late war some children we're
talking of their brothers and fathers who
had been captured rs prisoners of war.
Many tales u fortresses and camps were
told. the speakers evidently priding them
selves very much On the suffering II their
r .latives, when a little fellow who had been
silent. now spoke mp. That's nuthin "
said he - I've got an uncle in prison too.
and he amt never been to war. nuther."
WILL YOU have daily sun ;" said i
newsboy t. Mrs Partmgton. viii have
daily son Why. you little scapegrace
How dare you insinuate against lone wn-
man No indeed II guess won't have
daily son. Ny dear poor husband used to
complain when ! presented him with a
yearly son. \ daily son. indeed Begone,
you little uPstart mp And the old lady
called for turkey wing fan To keep her
from swooning.
ABRAHAM LINooLN used to say the best
story he ever read If himself was this
Two Quakeresses were travelling on the
ralIroad. and were discussing the probable
termination ~ the war.
4 ] think, said the first, that Jeffer-
son will succeed.
why does thee think 50 ri asked the
other.
- Because jefferson IL praying man.
u And - is Abraham praying man.
Yes. but the Lord will think Abraham
is j,king Il the first replied, conclusively.
'lor hatter me. said a thin exquitisite
the other day, to young lady who was
prsalslng the beauties Of his moustache.
I For heavens sake, ma am, interposed
an old skipper, don't make that monkey
any hatter than he is now.
SAMUEL HARRIMAN, of St Croix. Wis
consln, retired from scenes of blood at the
close If our recent war with the rank of
brevet brigadier Good-by, general,
were the parting words Of his old comrades
IN the army. How are YOU, colonel MI
was the salutation on reaching Wisconsin.
As he neared home il came down To How
are you cap And finally, when he came
among the boys at home, lac was greeted
with, Hello, Sam got back again III
WISE WORDS Foolish spending Is the
father of poverty Do not be ashamed To
work. Work for the best salary OF wages
you can get, but work for half price rather
than he idle Be your own master and do
not let society and fashion swallow up your
individuality. Do not eat up, OF wear ont
all you can earn Compel the selfish body
TO spare something for the profits saved
BE stingy in your own appetite, but mercl-
ful to others necessities. Help others, and
ask, not help yourself See that you are
proud. but let your pride be Of the right
kind Be too proud 10 be lazy too proud
to give up without conauering every diff
Guilty too proudto wear a coat you cannot
buy TO proud to be in company you can
not keep up with its expense too proud
to lie. OF steal. or cheat too proud to By
stingy.
The CARPENTERS DREAN-A poor man
was a carpenter, and he often said to him
self, - If was only rich would show Peo-
pie how TO give In his dream he saw
pyramid o. silver dollars, all new, bright
and beautiful. Just then a voice reached
him, saying Now is your time You
are rich at last; let US see your generosity.
So he rose from his seat and went 70 the
pile to take some money for charitable pur-
poses. But the pyramid was so perfect that
he could not bear to break Il. He walked
all around il. but found no place where he
could take a dollar without spelling the
hean 80 he decided that the pyramid
should not be broken, and then aWoke.
He awoke 10 know himself, and TO see that
he would be generous only while compare
lively poor