davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19
UNSOLICITED EVIDENCE OF ITS MERITS.
READ THE FOLLOWING
WHAT wELI-KNoWN DRUGGISTS SAY ABOUT
ALIENS LUNG BALSAM
spntSerIeLp, Tenn, Sept. 1, Il

SPRINGFIELD, TENN, Sept. l, 1872.
Gentlemen ship us six dozen Alon's Lung Balsan
at once. " have not bottle left in store 1t has
more reputation than any cough medicine we have
sold. and wo have been in the drug business tive My
seven years; We mean iust what we say about the
Balsam. very truly yours, = .....,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19
1876 to $3.50 per month, sys,rywhss sSy,9 VIII

Y male 10 Introduce the GENUINE IMPROVED CON.
s MON SENSE FAMILY SEWING MACHINE. This
. Machine will stitch hem fell tuck Quilt, cord bind,
braid and embroider in most superior manner Price
only Sl6 Fully licensed and warranted for years.
= We will pay $1,000 for any machine that will sew
A. stronger more beautiful. more elastic than
e ours. II makes the Elastic Lock Stitch" Every
second stitch be cut and still the cloth cannot bo
pulled apart without tearing it. wepay Agents from
SIS TO $3.50 per month and expenses, or commission
from which twice that amount can be made. Address
ii SECoMB q CO., Boston, Mass; Pittsburg, Pa;
Y Chicago, ILL.,; or ST. Louis, Mo,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19
PFRRY DAVIS & son, General Agents
Providence, Il. l.
in. HARRIS d CO., Cincinnati, o.,
PROFRIETORs.

~ Sold By all Medicine dealers.
ron SALE BY
JOHN F. HENRY, New York.
GEO. c. GOODWIN d CO, Boston.
JOHNSON. HOLAwAY & co, Philadelphia.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19

Again read the evidence from a Druggist who was
cured by the of the Balsam and els It largely
+. q. Cottrell, Druggist at Marine City, Michigan,
writes, Sept. 49, 1879: ~ am out of Aliens Lung Bal
sam: send halt gross soon as you can; would
rather be out OF any medicine in my store. The
Lung Balsam fails to do good Tor those afflicted
with cough"
1t is harmless to the most delicate child.
1t contains opium in any form.
II Is sea by Medicine dealers generally.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19

CAUTION.
Be not deceived. Call for ALIENS LUNG BAL.
SAM a1d take no other.
6r Directions accompany each bottle.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-12-19
A New Colony in Kansas
Or. WHITTIER, s,%rssna sSS Esnn ss,, ssres,, e.

LongeS engaged and most successful physician of the
!ge. Computation or pamphlet free. Call or write.
Nervousness Debility, &c treatise of &c pages, 70
stamps: book Of 250 page illustrated, for so cen
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

A TERRIBLE PENMAN.-We do not
vouch for the truth of the following,
which we clip from an exchange: There
is banker in Philadelphia by the side
of whose handwriting even the penman-
ship of Horace Greeley seems symmetri-
cal and beautiful. Well, this banker
was prosecuted by life insurance agent
who wanted him to take out a policy.
The victim stood it for while, but final
ly, one day, he kicked the agent out of
his Office. Then the tormentor began to
send notes to the unhappy wretch. ex-
planning the endowment system, and
asking If any of his aunts ever suffered
from torpidity OF the liver. At last the
banker wrote to the heartless friend as
follows:
''You diabolical scoundrel, if you send
another line to me, | will come down to
your office and blow out what little
brains you have.''
When the life insurance man received
this he turned it up and down, and held
t5d It sdeMaFs sEi and stood before iFFsE
but after all he couldn't determine with
any degree of certainty what it meant.
To ascertain he presented it at the pay
ing teller's desk in the bank, and that
worthy, without moments hesitation,
paid $4,000 on it, believing it to be
check for that amount. There is one
agent less in this city than there was
week OF two ago, and one more banker
who betrays symptoms of insanity when
the subject of life insurance is mentioned
in his presence.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

MURDER IN kENTUCKY.-AN OLD
Man HACKED TO DEATH BY NEGRO BUR-
GLARs-LoUIsvILLE, March 9.-Early
Yesterday morning three negroes broke
into the house of James Mcneil, aged
so. near Shelby City, Boyle county, and
brutally murdered the old man, splitting
his head open with an ak and stabbing
him in several places. Their purpose
was evidently robbery, as there was a
large amount of money in the house, but
the villains were frightened away by
the screams of Mrs. Mcneil. Immedi-
ately on the crime becoming known
search for the murderers was organized.
Two negroes were arrested in the after
noon and were lodged in Jail at Danville.
They had marks of blood on their hands
and clothing, and had bloody knife,
which corresponded with the wounds on
the body of the murdered man. One OF
the negroes is named Bob Isaacs, and
both have been identified by Mrs. Nc
Neil.
1t having been reported that an at
tempt would be made to lynch the mur-
derers. large number of negroes, armed,
gathered in Danville and paraded the
streets, threatening to shoot any one who
should make the attempt. They were
willing the men should be hung if found
guilty on fair trial. The greatest ex-
citement prevails In town.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

THE BOTTOM OF THE ATLANTIC.-The
soundinos which were made between Ire
land and Newfoundland before laying the
Atlantic cable have made the bottom of
the Atlantic almost as well known as the
surface of Europe or America. 1t Is
covered with fine mud, the remains of
microscopic insects, which will one day
doubtless harden into chalk. Of the in
equalities of this ocean bottom, Prof.
Huxley says:
at is a prodigious plain, one of the
widest and most even plains in the world.
If the sea were drained off, you might
drive wagon all the way from Yalentia
on the west coast of Ireland, to Trinity
Bay in Newfoundland. And. except up
Oh one sharp incline, about 200 miles
from Valentia, am not quite sure that
it would ever be necessary to put the
skid on, so gentle are the ascents and de-
scents upon that long route. From Va
lentia the road would lie down hill for
about two hundred miles. to the point at
which the bottom is now covered by
seventeen hundred fathoms of sea water.
Then would come the central plain, more
than one thousand miles wide, the in
equalities of the surface of which would
be hardly perceptible, though the depth
of the water upon it varies from ten to
fifteen thousand feet; and there are places
in which Mont Blanc might be sunk
without showing its peak above water.
Beyond this, the ascent on the American
side commences, and gradually leads for
about three hundred miles, to the New
foundland shore.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

for sale, their ribbons futtering in the
breeze, and sweethearts enough in their
train. Harry was delighted, and would
have stopped to gaze, but his now really
alarmed father dragged him along out of
harms way.
1t was the custom at that day to be-
stow ''fairings," that is something
bought at the fair, on friends and sweet
hearts as a keepsake: so when the tour
OF the fair had been completed, the
squire observed to Harry:
"My dear boy, to-day new era in
your life has commenced. The plans [
have adopted in your education may seem
strange but you have never given me
cause to regret them. You possess a
sensible and well ordered mind and
now. in remembrance of this, choose
what present shall make you as a
proof of my care and affection. .
-. May choose. whatever l like.
father q asked the young man, with
sparkling eye
Certainly, Harry
Thank you, dear father; then give
me goose =
And that annual gathering is known
as Goose Fair to this day.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
A KENTUCKY FREE LOVE TRAG-
EDY.

About = o'clock on Sunday March,
10th there entered this town from an
easterly direction male and female RI
der. They rode leisurely upon the pub
lie square, exciting no particular curios-
ity in the minds of those who saw them.
After making some small purchases at a
confectionery in this place, and inquir-
ing the nearest and best route to Horse
Cave, the riders disappeared from town,
taking the Glasgow road Subsequently
these persons proved to be Galen +. Tay-
lor, of Casey county, and the wife of
George Lannum. of the same county. all
neighbors. They were fugitives from
that county in matrimonial sense. Tay-
lor having unlawfully possessed himself
of Lannum' wife, the two endeavoring
to escape together
"a short time after they had ridden from
town, perhaps half an hour. a single
horseman rode in their wake, passing
hurriedly through the town, taking the
direction of the before-mentiond parties.
This was Geo. Lannum, the husband of
the woman. who, a couple of hours later,
was brought into town a prisoner, he
having overtaken and killed TAYLOR
The tragedy occurred at the residence of
Mr.. 10. Dohoney, worthy citizen of
this county, residing two miles out on
the Glasgow road, Taylor and the wo-
man, when Lannum appeared upon the
scene, were seated at Mr.. Dohoney's fire.
side. resting, and waiting bodily re-
freshments, which the family were pre-
pairing. The riders horses had been
stabbed, and the saddles left at the front
of the house, and it was by these that
Lannum knew he had come up with the
escapade. Dismounting, he advanced
toward the house, and in passing up the
yard was observed by Taylor through
the window, who had risen to his feet
and was standing upright when Lannum
entered. His entrance was the instant
signal of hostilities, and, without an in
terchange of words, each drew his revol-
yer, and the deadly firing began. Two
of Lannum shots took effect in Taylor's
breast, in the region of the heart, pro-
ducing death in less than thirty min
utes. Lannum escaped with two bullet
holes through the lapels of his coat and
vest, and slight wound on the back of
his left hand.
Lannum surrendered himself to Mr..
Dohoney, and by Messrs. George and
Whit Flowers was brought into town
and lodged in jail, the wife accompany
ing. The news Of Taylor's untimely end
was sent to his friends. who came and
bore his remains away on Tuesday morn
ing. As to the former standing of all
the parties to the tragedy, it is not our
province to speak. We shall only add
that Eaula1ss naepar.iA4 ahA-.>l-4i ..rYl-;--~e-
head of u family of seven children
Cobao.bia *. " Spectator
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

How TO HAVE LOVING WIFE.-A
correspondent sends the following to the
chronological Journal
If you would have loving wife, be
as gentle in your words after as before
marriage treat her as tenderly when a
matron as when miss; don't quite
make her the maid of all work and ask
her why she looks less tidy and neat
than when ..you first knew her. don't
buy cheap, tough beef, and scold her be.
cause it does not come on the table "por-
ter-house )" don't grumble about squal-
ling babies if you cannot keep up 'nur-
sery," and remember that ''baby may
take after papa in his disposition ;
don't smoke and chew tobacco, and thus
shatter your nerves, and spoil your tenn
per, and make your breath u nuisance,
and then complain that your wife de
clines to kiss you; go home joyous and
cheerful to your wife and tell her the
good news you have heard, and not 81
lently put on your hat and go out to the
club or ..lodge," and let her after
wards learn that you spent the evening
at the opera or at fancy ball with Mrs
Dash. Love your wife; be patient; let
whiskey, tobacco, and vulgar compan.
alone; spend your evenings with you
wife. and live a decent. Christian life
and your wife will be loving and true
If you did not marry heartless beauty
without sense or worth if you did, VIII
is to blame if you suffer the consequen
ces2
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

II. G. AFTER Mrs. W.-The New
York Tribune does not take kindly to
the gentle lecturess. With reference to
her recent threat to send out five hun
dred female orators. to make shrill and
incoherent the coming Presidential cam
paign, the editor ungallantly says:
Perhaps she can do it. Who knows :?
If so, it will add petticoats and pictur-
esqueness to crusade which has hitherto
been somewhat bleak from the lack of
those alluring and attractive elements.
The twinkle Of No. 2 gaiter with a
high heel upon the rostrum would doubt
less tickle the great mass meeting imag-
ination, stupefed by long contemplation
of No II brogans double soled but we
don't think the discourses of the wearers
of these bewildering boots would amount
to much. 1t is seriously to be hoped
that Mrs. W. will reconsider her alarm
ing resolution, and not wantonly flood
the land with another deluge of talking
virgins. There are surely enough now.
With babble of them is the world filed,
and of most of them the emptiness is as
the emptiness of innumerable drums
OF the other sort, so far heard from, it
would appear that they desire to have as
little to do with Mrs. Woodruff as pos.
sible.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
NO. 12.

POLITICAL EVENTS TO CoME.-The
dates of the most important political
events for some months to come, so far
as announced, are as follows.
March 9th, State Republican Con-
vention. Ohio.
April lst, State election, Connecticut.
April Sd, State election, Rhode Island
April 10th, State Republican Conven-
tion, Florida
April 10th, State Republican Con-
vention, Pennsylvania.
April 10th. National Convention Col
ored Men. New Orleans. Louisiana.
April 18th, State Republican Con-
vention, North Carolina.
April 23d. State Reform Convention,
Louisiana
April 25th, State election. Virginia.
May lst, State Conservative Conven-
ton, North Carolina.
May lst, Connecticut legislature meets
at New Haven. -
May 9Th. National Liberal Republi-
can mass meeting, Cincinnati.
May 7th, election Idaho Territory.
May 6th, Meeting of Democratic
State Central Committee, Illinois.
May 22d, State Republican ConveD-
tion, Georgia.
May 23d, State Republican Ccnver-
ton, New Jersey.
May 30th, State Democratic Conven-
tion, Pennsylvania.
June I'd, election Washington Terri
tory.
June I'd, State election. Origon.
June 9Th, National Republican Con-
vention, Philadelphia.
June 18th, State Republican Conven-
tion, Texas
June 18th, State Democratic Conven-
tion Indiana.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

A RICH PoEM.-It is impossible to
choke off the poets. We say disagreeable
things about them every week, and yet
they continue to send in their effusions
with the same calm confidence Of old
that we have silver mine which is kept
in perpetual operation for the solitary
purpose of purchasing rhymes at stupen-
dous prices. This week we have one
from being who has for his theme "The
Watching Mother - This vigilant par
ent, if we understand the thing, is sit
ting by her infant child in the middle of
the night, ready to respond when it in
quires for paregoric The poet says:
beside the couch she sat, whereon her
infant slept, and as she looked upon his
face, she bowed her head and wept He
was her only one, into her heart he'd
slept, and as her mothers love welled up,
she bowed her head and wept. He was
but one year old, and hardly yet he crept.
Perhaps he'd die All dreadful thought !!
She bowed her head and wept. Thus
far an angel form, her boy from harm
had kept; with thankful, grateful heart,
she bowed her head and wept Perhaps
this will be enough for once. There are
sixty-two verses, and in every one that
singular parent bowed her head and wept
1t made no difference to her whether her
offspring crept or walked, accepted its
food regularly or screamed. took notice,
had guardian angels, measles, or any
thing, that infatuated mother bowed her
head and wept all the same. 1t is ex-
tremely affecting, but unquestionably
monotonous. We slall give the rest Of
the poem at intervals, one at time, du-
ring the year. Perhaps it may run over
into the next year. Persons who tire Of
it can have the address of the poet by
applying at this office. If he must be
shot, let the murderous deed be commit
ted by some other frenzied sufferer thar
us.-Eachange.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

CURIosITIEs OF THE BIBLE.-~A man
who was condemned to solitary confnc-
ment for life in a prison, revealed the
following facts =
The Bible contains 3,596,4S9 letters,
1852 words. 3l.l73 verses, l,l89
chapters, and &C books. The word and
occurs 46. 277 times the word Lord
occurs .s53 times; the word ''rever-
enc" occurs but once, which Is III the
9th verse Ill Psalm. The middle verse
is the Sth verse of the llSth Psalm
The 2lst verse of the 7th chapter of Ez-
ra contains all the letters of the Alpha
bet with the exception of the letter J.
The finest chapter to read is the 26th
chapter Of the Acts of the Apostles The
10Th chapter of Ii. Kings and the 32d
chapter of Isaiah are alike. The long
est verse is the 8th chapter of Esther.
The shortest verse is the Both of the
18th chapter of St. John. The sth
18th, 2lst and 31st verses of the l07tf
Psalm are alike. All the verses of the
l36th Psalm end alike. There are NJ
words or names of more than SIX sylla
J hles.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
A WESTERN OBITUARY.-Jem Bangs

A WESTERN OBITUARY.-Jem Bangs,
we are sorry to stait, has deceased
He departed this life, last Munday.
Jems was generally considered gud
feller. He went 4th without any strug-
gle-and SIGH is life. Tu-day we are
pepper grass-mighty smart; tu-mor-
rer we are cut down like as cucumber
of the ground. Jem KEEP Mise store.
which his wife now waits on. his vir-
chews were numerous to behold. Many
is the things we bought at his growcery !;
and We are happy to stait to the admir-
in world that he never cheeted, speshul-
ly in the waite of makrel, which was
mise and smelt sweet. And his surviv-
in wife is the same wa. We never
knew him to put sand in his sugar, tho
he had big sand-bar in front of his
house; nor water in his Eckers, though
the Ohio river runs past his dore. Piece
to his remanes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
DISCIPLINE VS.. MODERN.

A good old Hebrew proverb says,
When boys get off the track.
The switch must be discreetly used
To bring the rebels back.
But later wisdom, to correct
The follies of the young,
Applies homeopathic dose
Directly to the tongue.
In Bible days the parents fixed
A penalty to sin
And purged the evil from the heart
With stripes upon the skin;
They little thought that kind papas
Would live in time to come,
Who would reject the virtuous rod,
And try a sugar-plum.
When willful sons in anger rose
Against indulgent sires,
How powerful was this Jewish art
70 cool their raging fires.
And so the Jealous Puritan,
With Scripture for his guide,
To conquer youthful waywardness
Its potent magic tried.
But modern heads of families
Contend for moral suasion;
They think it dreadful to abide
The scourge's sharp abrasion;
They call it cruel to afflict
With blows the erring son,
And say there is milder way
In which it may be done.
And yet parental dignity
Was held in reverence then,
And all Obeyed their fathers voice,
From children up to men.
They did not smoke and strut about
Like our precocious lads,
Or swear, and brag in vulgar Jest
How they could rule their dads.
Now if results decide the test,
| know we surely should
Agree to say that ancient plan
Accomplished lots of good;
And wise old S9elQmI4nE!..sss Sc 4GnE!.ss ADVICE
Is better far to keep the peace
Than flattery and candy.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
AN APPEAL TO DARWIN.

IL we, as Mr.. Darwin says,
From monkeys are descended,
Old Time, in changing things, hath not
As vet the matter mended-
Descendants Of our ancestors
Have no such times as they
Who had no rent of house or tax
or government to pay,
No tailor bills came in-Dame Nature
Clothing gave
And freaks of fashion did not make
or mOnkey-girl slave.
So the oldest ways the happiest way
The new condition falls
And Darwin, if you can, my boy,
Just give us back the tails.
No hurrying out of bed had they,
No boiling breakfast down,
No hasty walk to shop in fear
Of some old boss's frown-
The lady-monkey sat not up
Till day the night did rout.
In waiting for the lodge to close
And let her husband out.
They had no votes, It's true, but they'd
No offices to keep,
And DER defaulter's cash account
They never had to weep.
So the olden ways the happiest way
The new condition fails
And, Darwin. if You can, my boy.
Just give us back the tails.
They had no fashions promenade,
Where beauty feet could stray,
But then the old boss s.monkey had
No milliner to pay.
They had no wine, the monkeys young,
Through night to keep storming-
They saved thereby tyou know yourself)
A headache in the morning
A peaceful race were they, who ne'er
To wars appeal did fly
They saved thereby occasion for
A Joint Commission High.
A smarter race were they than that
Which from them hath descended,
And Time by changing things hath not
As vet the matter mended,
For the oldest ways the happiest way
The new condition fails
So, Darwin, if you can, my boy.
Please give us back our tails.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

A good story is told of fellow at a
cattle show, who was making himself ri
diculously conspicuous by an evident IN
tention of finding fault with everything
At last he burst forth with Call these
here prize cattle? Why, they amt
nothing to what our folks raised. My
father raised the biggest calf of any man
round our parts .' Il don't doubt it, :
was the timely remark of a bystander
..and the noisiest." The forward youth,
as may we'll be imagined, incontinently
subsided.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25

\ GRAVE JOKE Many good stories
are told of cid Ethan Allen, of revolu-
tionary memory. The following is not
bad one: He was one evening at par
ty where his we'll known courage was the
theme of conversation. ..He fears moth
ing" said one land [ would wager any
amount that he would not hesitate to 90
into the churchyard across the way, and
bring a skull from one of the open tombs
there, " added another. The wager was
agreed upon, and one of the party sud-
denly left the room as Allen entered it.
The absent bon cirant procured a sheet.
whitened his face, and repaired to one of
the vaults in question with the view of
frightening the old veteran, should he
have the temerity to further the wishes
of the company. Allen was made ac-
quainted with the nature of the wager,
and without moments hesitation, said
he would bring the required skull and
lay it on the table He went to the
vault and laid his hand upon one. when
his concealed acquaintance cried out in
a sepulchral tone 'that's mine y ''Very
well, replied he, and picked up another,
when the same voice repeated, that's
mine too That can't be true" re-
turned the imperturbable hero, for no
man can have two skulls y Upon this
he quickly left the vault with the
memento morji in his hand; his friend
following in hot haste. Allen, however,
soonest reached the room where he had
left his companions, and placing the skull
upon the table. exclaimed. There gentle
men you have it but look at it quickly,
for the fellow is close behind me that
owns it y The man in the sheet i'm
mediately came in, and the laugh wa;
universally against him.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-03-25
An indignant

An indignant southerner, in speaking
of New England, says that one half of
the farms are so barren, that you might
NOW them with a razor, and rake them
with fine tooth comb, and yet not get
enough to fodder grasshopper for a
month.