The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1872-07-25
HUMORS OFTHE DAY

|
HUMORS OFTHEDAY.
The Cleveland police took up prom
inent citizen in sad state of mental aber7
| ration the other day, and after restoring
him learnt that he probably lost his mind
| in trying to remember and deliver the
parting message of his wife, who, on kis-
sing him good by In the morning, told
| him to go to the dressmaker and tell her
| that she (his wite) had chang d her mind,
| and would have the watered silk made
| up instead OF the poplin, and be sure ard
| tell her, said the wife, that if she
thinks 1t would look better with ten bias
ffounces without pulling, and box plating
below the equator, which should be gath
cred IN hem-stitched gudgeons up and
down The seams, with gusset-stitch be-
tween, she can make it up in that way,
instead of tluting the bobinette insertion,
and plecing out with point applique, as
L suggested yesterday"
A very finely dressed lady on whose
face powder and wrinkles we're desperate
ly struggling for the mastery, got on the
train at Norwalk. lately. The car being
crowded, she was obliged to stand up.
Seeing her. young woman IN an adjoin-
you will have to stand" said the first la
dy edging toward the seat. 20, that's
nothing" replied the other, Il am
young. In the next instant, the first
lady was at the other end of the car car,
and didn't intimate to anybody to bring
the seat along.
A few days since ore of our popular
attorneys called upon another member of
the profession, and asked his opinion up
on certain point of law. The lawyer to
whom the question was addressed drew
himself up and said Il generally get
paid for telling what I know The
questioner drew half dollar fractional"
from his pocket, handed it to the other,
and cody remarked, Tell me all you
know, and give me the change" There
is GOODNESS between the parties now.
In St. Paul, young man treated his
sweetheart to the circus, and accidental
ly became separated from her. After
searching distractedly for half an hour,
he discovered his adored inabibing lem
onade with rival. jerking off his coat
| he was soen engaged with his hated enc.
my in rough and tumble fight. The dam
sci looked cody ON, as they gouged
each others eyes, and finally remarked ::
Fight 1t out, you chaps; l. going with
the teller who Ii take me to the show to-
night"
The following note written to her school
mate by girl who had been absent sew
eral days, illustrates the sweet simplicity
of childhood DEAR SUsIE-I Shand' I
attend school again until / Get some new
cuffs, collars and Jewelry-dear Mama
| agrees with me that it is my Booty to
take the shine out of that Upstard Ma
my Jones and I'll do it If | never learn
nothing.
A young gentleman on the occasion oil
pleasant visit to a young lady friend
inquired if she would not kindly teach
him!to play croquet. "Oh, yes" was the
courteous reply of the fair one, "I'll teach
you how to play then adding with a
keen-appreciation of the characteristic:
of the opposite sex, You will easily
learn how to cheat, yourself"
AT the opening of breach of promise
case in Kentucky, the court asked the
counsel for the plaintiff how long the tri
al would probably last. Il can t say ex
actly." replied the counsel, ''but wi
! mention as one item that [ have three
hundred and eighty-four love- letters
written 5y the defendant to my client, te
read.
The Fort Wayne Sentinel makes the
following cheerful announcement: "a
coffin room has been established or
Wayne street, in the rear of the Sentine
building. Any one feeling like attack.
Ing the editor will save his relatives trou-
BILE by coming around that way and Sc,
Letting his box
Mamma, said five-year old Nellie
they sung Il Want to be an Angel" in
Sunday to day. and | sang with
them. Why, Nellie" exclaimed nam
ma; could you keep time with the rest !?
oh, yes; ! kept ahead of them mos
all the way.
Where was Bishop Latimer burned
to death p asked a teacher in com
handing voice. Joshua knows said
little girl at the bottom of the class
We'll, said the teacher, IF Joshua
knows. he may tell" In the fire." re-
piled Joshua, looking very grave and
wise.
Il never saw such a cold woman as
Mrs; -is, said an envious beauty Of
another the other evening. II feel quite
confident that she must give her hurband
cold In the head whenever she kisses
| him."
You II grow up ugly if you make ia.
ces, said maiden to her little niece,
who replied by asking: did you make
| faces when you was a girl. auntv 2'