The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-03-29
QUILL SCRATCHES.
BY MAX ADELER.

change, finds himself under the ne
cessity of writing a long letter to q
newspaper in favor Of kissing aS
church sociables. We have never
taken sides in the discussion Of this
interesting and important subject,
but we are inclined to think that if
it became clearly apparent that the
cause of public morality would be
materially advanced and the effici-
cheney of the ecclesiastical system
largely increased by the introduc-
ton of this inVigorating exercise at
sociables, we would readily sacrifice
whatever personal feeling we have
in the matter and favor it, provided
this Office is permitted TO have rep
resentative present to form an opin-
ion Of the practical operations of the
system.
The people of Nashville are
amazed at the performance of a boy
who plays one tune on the piano
with his left hand, and another tune
with his right, whistles a third, and
beats a bass drum with his toes.
We are glad that this deplorable
tiend lives as far away as Nashville.
If he resided in our neighborhood,
profound sense of duty would i'm
pei US to cram him full of percussion
caps and then drop him off a
French roof upon the pavement
so as to snap that prodigy of, as il
were. We could not endure him.
1t is bad enough to have one girl
next door fumbling around over a
piano trying to jolt out "The Maid
ems Prayer" and another on the
other side engaged in frantic efforts
to sing "Beware!" while the
infatuated pagan across the street
strains himself at the flute. We
would have to kill that Nashville boy
if he came about.
Certainly the New York Hsrald is
an extraordinary newspaper. Upon
the occasion of the visit of Queen
Victoria to st. Paups cathedral, the
other day, the Herald not only gave
an account of the procession, but O.
history of every other procession
that every proceshed from the time
Adam marched out of Paradise
down to February 27, 1872, with bio
graphical sketches of all the people
who carried the banners and wore
their Sunday clothes. We actually
believe that if a report should be re-
ceived at the Herald Office that the
Car of Russia had suddenly been
afflicted with bald head, that Jour
nal would Immediately print an ae-
count Of all the bald heads that have
existed since the Christian era, with
maps and diagrams showing the
method of distributing the remnants
of hair in each case, and then pre-
tend that the whole cOncern-pic-
lures and .all-came over the cable
from special correspondent sta
toned somewhere out on the STEP
| pes ofTartary. There is nothing
like enterprise in journalism.
A Frenchman named Professor
PlantamOur informs us that a gigan-
tic comet is rapidly approaching the
earth, and will strike it on the 18th
of August of this year, when the
world will be consumed. This
lprophesy is confirmed by an egg
laid by hen in Delaware, and bear
ling an inscription to the same gener
al effect. Unless the Professor was
in collusion with the hen, this re-
markable coincidence appears to
settle the matter beyond question.
In view of the fact, then, that the
confagratiOn is to take place on the
18th of August, we cannot be too
thankful that we have a paid fire de
partment;and care ought to be taken
that it is on hand, ready for service
when the fire begins. Persons who
feel any interest in the event will find
a full report in this paper on the
18th, with list of the insurances.
We shall publish this journal in a
fire proof safe during the con1agra-
ton; and, as we know that our regu-
lar Office will be burned out, we So
licit subscriptions in advance in aid
of the sufferers, in this office. Mon.
ey sent to our address will be thank
fully received, promptly acknowl-
edged, and effectively spent.