Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-07-25
Varieties.

chairs, oear, out too much company"
replied Mr.. Simpkins, with knowing
wink
WHAT is the fashion, Annie? Fashion
Is something that causes Betsey. who
goes bareheaded all the week, when the
sun is shining, to wear gloves and carry
parasoi on Sunday, when it is cloudy.
All, ladies" said an old bon vivayt,
as ne opened bottle of wine, "what is
more delightful than the popping of
champagne cork p "The popping of
the question y unanimously cried the
ladies.
A SHORT time back the question was
asked, Why do men marry ?" The
following reply was not less singular
than true: "Some young men marry for
dlmples, some ears, some noses: the
contest, however, generally lies between
the eyes and the hair. The mouth, too.
is occasionally married, the chin not so
often"
AN editor wrote a leading article on
the fair sex, in the course Of which he
said: 'Girls of seventeen or eighteen
are fond of beaux." When the nanar
was issued, he was rather shocked to
discover that an unfortunate typograph-
ical error had made him say: aGirls of
seventeen or eighteen are fond of beans.'
JOHN RANDOLPH met an enemy in the
street, one day, who refused to give him
halt the sidewalk, saying that he never
turned out for rascal. ~ do said
Randolph, stepping aside and politely
lifting his hat, "Pass on, SIR
A LADY was urged by her friends to
marry widower, and as an argument
they spoke of his two beautiful chill.
dren. " Children" replied the lady.
ARE like tsothpicks-a person wants
their own
A BEyY Of young ladies, while cross
ing Mill creek, at Salem, Cal, by moon.
light, thought they observed a goose
swimming in the creek, and began pelt-
ing 1t with stones, when they were great
ly astonlshed by hearing the aforesaid
goose exclaim: " Why can't YOU let a
fellow alone? | amt botherin' YOU
any,"
This kind of literature is still popular
In Missouri: "The agglutinated eve.
lids OF Mcleod, of Calumet, were first
separated by an attentive nurse eighty
three years ago. Since that time thew
have never looked upon rain that for
witness would equal that which spread
Itself over this village last week"
A COUNTRY girl went to Fond du Lac.
the other day, and for the first time saw
the immense appendage hung to the
PACK OF new-fashioned dress. She
took square look at it, liked it, and
determined to have one. So, going into
the store, she asked the clerk to show
her some of his "hump cloth" The
clerk was embarrassed, but, after con-
su!tlng with the proprietor, the Young
Lady got her hump cloth and departed
happy.
A LITTLE girl of five summers was the
happy recipient of a velvet cloak. of
which she was very proud. One day,
soon after, she was discussing her
dresses, their beauty, style, etc., when
ner mother, by way of nipping her van
Ity IN the bud, said: any dear. do YOU
not know there are more important
things to talk of than dresses Pr Ouick.
ly she replied: ooh, yes, mamma.
velvet cloaks.n
A RURAL editor tries his hand at wri.
ting Bridge of Signs thus:
One more potato bug
Gone to his rest,
Stepped on so tenderly.
Cause it was best.
Poor little later bug!
Smashed in the dustl
In thy prosperity
Business has bust.
SIMPLE and effective mode of kill.
ing ones creditors without fear of de-
lectlon has been invented in New
it consists of writinu To
she intended letter requiring an i'm
mediate answer, and inclosing power
fully poisoned stamp for return postage.
Agents who will take the patent right
Tor States or counties where there are
many mothers-in-law may realize hand.
some profits.
NEVADA paper speaking of tho rer-