The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-07-12


A SERIOUS turn-The twist of ones
neck.
They have Dolly Warden hops in Eng.
land.
SOMEBODY wishes to know. if pigpen
Is used to write hog-latin.
The King of the Belgians is the best
crowned.head speaker in Europe.
INCREDIBLE as it may seem, many OF
the richest planters of Jamaica live on
coffee grounds.
AN exchange describes a sable.clad
missionary as looking as if he had been
vaccinated for slack clothes and had
broken out all over.
"TUNcH" says it is very natural for
man to feel girlish when he makes his
maiden speech.
A CINCINNATI paper describes the pat
tern of a DOLLY Warden as fred floss
rhinoceroses roofing up black satin
morass."
"THEY fired two shots at him." wrote
an Iris reporter; g the Fl rst shot killed
him, but the second was not FATAL
GERMANY has already seven statues of
Goethe, and will erect magnificent
monument to him in Berlin this spring
Mrs. PARrINoroN says that since the
invention of the needle-gun there is no
reason why women shouldn't fight as
we'll as men.
THE Plymouth Sentinel gently aludes
to one OF its townsmen as" the ly-blown
office seeker; the worn.eaten land-shark,
and avaricious mortgage-scalper."
"SIx feet in his bootsr' exclaimed
Mrs. Beeswax; "what will the impu.
dence Of this world come to, I wonder?
Why, they might as well tell me that
the man had six heads in his hat
The following knotty question claims
the attention Of one or all of our debat.
ing societies +" If q man has a tiger by
the tail, which would be the best for his
personal safety-to hold on or let go?"
AT an infant Sunday school the
teacher gave the Bible story of the
" Prodigal Son." When he came to the
place where the poor, ragged son reached
his former home, and his father saw
him great way off," he inquired what
his father probably did. One of the
smallest boys, with fist clenched, said:
:" dunno, but dessay he set the dog
on him."
JOSH BILLINGS says that the difference
between blunder and mistake is
this: When man puts down bad
umbrella and takes up good one, he
makes a mistake; but when he put
down good one and takes up bad
one, he maxi es a blunder.
A NOTED wag in Western college one
morning read theme of unusual merit.
The President being suspicious, asked
yes, sir" was the reply, it had original
over it in the paper l took it FROM"
THIS is from the Danbury Ne,0s, Of
course: "A Connecticut boy swallowed
three marbles and four bullets recently,
and, being somewhat Of a bony struc
ture, is now utilized by the neighbors,
who borrow him as rattle-box to amuse
their babes and sucklings."
In the Wyoming Legislature, the
other day, when a man insisted he was
not out Of order, his opponent jerked OH
his coat, shouting, "Mr. Speaker, if some
reliabl man will hold these buds, I'll
teach MIN ne Is out Oh Or0er; anu Tile
point was carried.
A New ENGLAND advertiser wants "a
woman who fears the Lord and weighs
200 pounds, and the editor Of the sheet
in which the advertisement appears re-
marks that "the experience Of most
men is that woman who weighs 2OO
pou nds rarely fears the Lord or any
body else"
THE Danbury Nn0s says; 1--WE pre-
sumo many of the owners OF lota in the
cemetery have no objection to the REQ
pie helping themselves to the flowers on
the graves, or digging up hedges, but
they unanimously unite in requesting
visitors to remove their boots and shoes
before climbing tombstones."
TIE omnibuses Of Paris arercgulated