The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1872-04-20
NUMBER I3.
JOHN, Az CHICAGO.

John the eccentric correspondent of
the New York Sun, processes to write
letter from Chicago, from which we ex-
tract the following bits of absurdity:
This Westward Uo country is getting
hoed all over. 1t is the most prolific couu-
try | ever saw. Early in the season as it
is, the tables all have butter-cups on 'em.
1 he Mississippi river has been ploughed
by steamboats, and ii is full of currents.
1t is dangerous in ST. Louis TO name baby
Edward, because the eddies get into the
Mississippi river.
They raise vast, incomprehcnsible, im-
preenable quantities of barley corn in this
section, and 1872 of the citizens get bar
ley corned every Saturday night and Suns
day morning fetches the rest of em.
On the cars, after leaving ST Louis. |
conyersed with a female Westward He!
| addressed her as Miss Ho. Says she, in
accents sweet as the dying notes of a seas
sick bull-frog, "Call me Miss Nancy"
Nancy Is lovely name, so romantic,
so tUuchIngly suggestive. / love that
name, and if had thirty-one children,
don't care a cent if they were all boys, I'd
name EN- all Nancy. Like kings, I'd cali
'em Nancy on eye, NancJ two eyes, Nancy
TX, and Nancy XII, and if they didn't
come when called EN-, I'd whale EN-
Miss Nancy Informed me she bad the
statistics. Goodness gracious !" | ex-
claimed, "are they catching ?" She said
no but she had the figures to show the
quantity of grain raised in Illinois and
before we stopped chatting | found out
| that enough was raised TO make all the
| people in that section well bred and TO buy
all the girls erow-grain silks
From 81. Louis to Chicago the read runs
through the worst country for ducks eye
ever saw. 1t Is one per cent f"tter than
fiat pan cake, with great big fields called
pralIies. These fields are 50 large that
sunrise is used for = red fence on the other
side. The farmers drive their cows home
with locomotives in the west and for this
purpose every locomotive in the west has
a cuw-catcber ahead of it.
To-day Chicago reminds me of AN apple
with the best half eaten out but the seed
and the core are left, and Phenix like she
is arising from her ashes TO become a bea~
con light for all ChristeudUm to steer by
There is more energy, more of that go-
ahead, cast iron pluck, that turns moua-
taius to level plains and rocks into temples
for the living, liz Chicago than in any other
place on this footstool Here is case Of
energy: During the great fire citizen
was blown three miles up nto the air.
While shooting upward he got out his lead
pencil and wrote note to his builder, W he
lived at the top of six story building,
| La q, h..
his way down he threw the note in at the
window. The consequence was, on his
arrival home on litter, he lornl be bAiId-
er putting shelves in his parlor, and next
day he was selling goods.
Another case Of energy is illustrated as
follows: | entered barber's shop, took
a seat, down went my head and up vent
my heels. In less than two seconds felt
a qIeer feeling on my feet, and hois'ing
my head saw fellow with kettle and
brush daubing the soes of my boots-
Says |, What in the name ef stewed
custard pie are you doing ?'' He said he
was pasiing up circus bill. Say |, 'I'll
paste you in the snoot.'' lie left. This
is energy
The citizens who shave at the BARRIERS
shops have printed on the soles of tLeir
boots Pest no bills
Another case of energy is, George
! Washington was never in Chicago, so they
havn't got any old frame building standing
in the business part of the city just be-
cause it was Washington headquarters
The Fourth of July was never celebra-
| ted until 1880, because there wasn't any
body 20 celebrate it.