The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-11-07
OUR CHIP BASKET.
A centre COMMUNICATIONS nose. :,

ten lncheS at Auka, minnesota.
Missouri girls are SO sweet that the local
editors speak of them as Molasses.
A short trip on the Rhine-sipping on
piece of orange peel in the street.
Emily Faithful says she will neyor marry.
] She prefers to remain faithful until death.
A wholesale house advertises: "Wanted
women to sell on. commission Gals,
there's your chance. F. go
An Illinois insane man travels on all foursl
and imagines himself bull.
A Bainbridge, Ca, man lately made
fair meal from six cans of oysters and a
pound and a half of soda crackers
The St. Louis Globe says: "When q
Boston man tries to wind his watch with the
door key, he is little eccentric. They
don't sell whisky there"
. II can't drink liquor" said Bob, "iti'goes
right to my head" "Well," said Bob's
friend, "wherc could it go with less danger
of being crowded." .. .5 &.
Most thorrible-Charles johnson, of New
York, lately died with etietiepiperi-
tribomenosis That is one disease which
the yellow fever ranks, at all events.
A Western paper tells the cad story of
accident, death and mourning in these brief
words: At Port Austin-girl-kerosone-
tears-funeral vacant CHR.
A St. Louis rat made comfortable but
somewhat expensive bed out of $3.50, 900 in
Government bonds, all that the owner pos
sessed -
The blossom cannot tell what becomes of
its odor, and no one can tell what becomes of
his influence and example that roll away
from him and go beyond his ken on their
perilous mission ..... ..-
An Irishman fresh from the sod, and
anxious to secure humming bird, caught
large bee instead; it stung him, when he
cried out, "Houly Moses how hot its little
fut is" ...... e.. ~ .J
The Danbury News says: A Bethel man
discovered that stranger he rescued from
watcry grave was not his long-lost brother,
but party he owed $3.50 for turnips. The
Bethel man retired in disgust.
The traditional bull who butted locomo-
tive on the bridge, has been excelled by a
bovine on the Great Western Road. in
England, who braced himself up and threw
thirteenscars. down an, embankment.
A noted wag, In Western College one
morning, read theme of unusal merit. The
President being suspicious, asked pointedly
if it was original. ''Why, yes, SIR was the
reply. "it had original over it in the paper I
took it FROM" = =
A Paris lady abruptly entered her kitch-
en- the other day and saw the cook skimming
the soup with silver spoon. She said to
her: "Francoise,, I expressly forbade you
from using silver in the kitchen" "But,
ma'am. this spoon was dirty"
. The California reporters are interviewing
all African salamander who licks red-hot
pokers, dances on red-hot plates and drinks
Cincinnati whiskey without vince. The
missionaries don't know how to attack him.
as the prospect Of a free range in fire and
birthstone is rather attractive to him than
otherwise.
And old farmer said to his sons: "Boys,
don't you ever wait for summit to turn up.
You might just as well go on an sit down on
a stone in the middle of a medder, with a
pale atwixt your legs, an wait fora COW to
back up to you to be MIXED" ...~ .
A Pittsfeld man recently borrowed
neighbor's Sunday hat to wear at his sisters
funeral, and after that melancholy occasion.
pawned the beaver for sundry drinks, and
the, lender had to "pay the shot" before he
could recover his chapeau. No more mourn
ers need apply for that hat.
A clerical passenger by the Mctis, who
foatcd around all night, and reached land at
last, with vivid thoughts of his wfe's ankle
ty, rushed to the nearest telegraph office
and sent this message: "Dear P, am saved.
Break it gently to my wife"
FEAR-A little girl remarked to her man.
ma. on going to bed: "Im not afraid of the
dsak." "No of course you are no" replied
her mamma. Il was little afraid once,
when I went into the pantry in the dark to
get a tart" "What were you afraid off,"
asked her mamma. '' / was afraid could
not find the tarts
The morning following freshet, cele-
bratcd temperance lecturer halted alta spring
to refresh himself and horse. As he did not
wish to alight, he asked boy to pass him
dipper of water. After he had drank, think
ing to impress his principles upon the boy,
he said: "Water, my boy, Is natures bever-
age it never injured man or beast" 81
don't know rs it ever did, mister, but it
knocked the bottom out of our bridges and
roads.
WHAT HE KNOWS OF FARM1NG.-The
editor of the Trenton Sentinel has been tell
inc what he knows of farming, and this is q
mart of his first essay:
Castcroil beans succeed best in the bow
> els of the earth. They will soon work their
way out.
In .reaping wheat never take it by the
: beard. It goes against the grain.