Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-02-12

:, - P00oAJ "nA ohN y J"'o
nile tales
An exchange wants to know if
W-oT-c-e-s ter spells Wooster, why
R-o chester don't spell Rooster,
and 1t is very reasonable inquiry.
The most rapid writer among the Par
isian journalists is Emile de Girardin
He generally dashes off his column lead
ers in scarcely half an hour.
James Macauley, M. A., M. D., the
editor of the Leisure Hour, having lately
spent eight weeks in this country, has
gone home and published book about
us called "Across the Ferry
A Western editor speaks of his III
val as "mean enough to steal the swill
from a blind hogw The rival retorts
by saying, "He knows he lies; I new
er stole his swill"
We clip the following short sermon
from an exchange:
If you make home pleasant, beautiful and bright
Children, like chickens, will come home at night
And none of your HOUSEHOLD will willingly roam
But ever remember there's no place like home
An old farmer in New Hampshire
recently killed pig, and being asked
how much it weighed, replied that it
did not weigh as much as he expect
ed, and he did not expect it would.
It is cheerful to be sitting in a rail
road car, going at the rate of forty
miles an hour, and have a man pass
through the train and put tract in
your lap entitled "Prepare to meet
your Cod
Old "Biddy, what is this you
have among the stuffing of the tur-
key?" Biddy (delighted)-"Ah, an
sure, master; Pm obliged to We for
finding my chignon; I've been look
ing for it all day"
It is said that a certain Amazonian
tribes on the day ofhis marriage, while
the wedding festivities are going on,
the bridegroom's hands are tied up in
paper bag filled with fire ants. If
he bears this torture smilingly and
unmoved, he is considered fit for the
trials of matrimony.
Hay, it is said, can be rendered fire
proof by sprinkling layer of salt be-
tween each layer of hay. The pro-
cess serves a twofold purpose render
ing the hay more agreeable to the pal
ates of the cattle, conducive to their
health, and preventing destruction by
fire.
So says some ignoramus. Good
farmers know better.
"Now I'VE Cor HER PEARSON WEIGH,
of Amesbury, Mass, was on one occasion
, called upon to marry rustic couple.
According to his custom, he began with,
"Please join your right hands. % There
upon the groom, with his right hand
takes the brides left. Please join youl
right hands," The groom, little con-
fused, lets go his grasp, and with his
left hand takes the brides right. ''Youl
right hands please join your RICH
hands '' The groom thinks moment
lets go his grasp again, and turning
t around, seizes the bride with both hands
her right with his left, her left with hi
right, and exclaims, ':NoaC TIE other p
Nor POSTED IN HIsTORY.-A youth
\ full applicant for certificate to teacl
: school presented himself before til,
experimenting School Committee 0
e town in Maine, and after having IN
swered several questions in mathe
al MATES, he was asked:
'sIn what year did Columbus discov
e er America?"
The young man paused, scratcle e
q his head, and replied
. "Well, Mister, you've got me now
'Was it before or after the birth {
n our Saviour" continued the commi
$ tee man. The youth spent momer
a in thought, and then raising his ifs
1T and striking it upon the desk, exclain
ed
l. "Yo@ge got me at last, By thunder!
. The certificate was not granted.
t A FLEXIBLE SToNE.-The loo;
lie sensation at Wheeling, Va, is a whit
re marble hearth-stone, three feet Ions
seventeen inches wide and two inche
thick, which is as flexible as piece
CT India rubber of the same dimension
+ The stone was in the seminay /;
lie Moundsville, twelve miles belo'
s. Wheeling, when burned some thre
q years ago, and lay buried in the ruiz
ST till a few days ago, when, upon bein
dug out, this extraordinary change
its character was discovered. 1t
ct discolored by the fire, but is as whit
n as ever under the surface, and the
has been no discernible change in IL
m grain. 1t has lost no weight, br
when being broken the fragments CO
m be crushed in the fingers.
n BOYS, DO YOU HEAR THAT?-
h New Orleans paper tells of a print
who, when his fellow workmen we
Id out to drink beer during the workiI
S. hours, put in the bank the exact
on mount which he would have spent
he he had gone out to drink. He ke
n his resolution for five years. He The
le- examined his bank account and four
that he had on deposit $521.S6.
the five years he had not lost a d;
- from i'll health Three out of FIVE
. his fellow workmen had in the mea
&c time became drunkards, were wort
less as workmen, and were discharge
Of The water-drinker then bought o
the printing office, went on enlargil
ID his business, and in twenty years fro
the time he began to put by his mo
ey, was worth 100000. The stor
whether new or old, teaches a lessc
up which every boy and young M
of should lay to his heart.
for COOP ADyIcE-President Potter
'se Yale College gave the following ADV
to the students of that institution t
isk other day: young men, you are t