Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-09-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MlSCELLANEUUS lIEMSs
ILLEGAL CORN MEAsURE-k tight
shoe.
A MAN OF STANDING-The street-car
conductor.
PATENT LEATHER boots are coming
into style again.
LONG street-dresses will not be toler-
ated this winter.
A NEW version of an old verse-Loathe
the poor Indian.
WHAT does man see in the wild, wild
waves? Sea foam.
WEDDING cards next winter are to be
enameled, white, small and plain.
WHEN lady faints what figure does
she need? You must bring her 2.
THE children say it's scold weather al
ways when housekeeping is going on.
IT is said that the people in the wine
districts of California are exceedingly
temperate.
A DENVER paper speaks of a Chicago
artist who is out there with his wife and
six others"
THE largest watermelon on exhibition
at the Pulaski (Tenn.) Fruit Exposition
weighed liz pounds.
SALLIE ADAMS, Newport Belle, has
discharged her lover for month, so that
she can eat onions.
VERY pretty ladies' cuffs and collars,
embroidered with cunning flowers, will
be fashionable this fall.
THE man that bit another mans nose
off in an affray, is said to have taken a
prominent part of the fight.
CoNFkCTIoNERs make the paradoxical
statement that at this time of the year the
best way to get rid of fruits is to preserve
them.
LIFE, according to the Arabic proverb,
is composed of two parts; that which IS
past, dream, and that which is to come,
wish.
LET those who would affect singularity
with success, first determine to be very
virtuous, and they will be very singular.
A CLUB of Boston ladies are hard at
work endeavoring to obtain the passage
of city ordinance providing that all
tobacco chewers shall be muZzled when
on the street.
A NEW hyerometer, made by G. Smith,
in Paris, consists of strips of paper dipped
in a cobalt salt solution containing COM
mon salt and gum arabic. In dry
weather it is blue, and in wet rose red.
INDIGNATION will fill the breast of every
artist when we state that two men were
arrested in lumber yard the other day,
because they were suspected of design
on ac0Od.
A BOY in Perry, Ga killed an owl
with a gun without lock. He put cap
on the tube, took sight, got negro to
strike the cap with hammer, and down
came Mr.. Owl.
"IN the absence of globes, how do you
illustrate the shape of the earth to your
scholars ?" asked a committee of a school
1 -
the reply.
A YOUNG fortune-hunter surprised his
| friends by announcing that he was going
into agriculture, and should commence
his husbandry by removing weeds-some
rich and lovely widows weeds.
"Do YOU think it safe, my DEAR" said
a husband to his wife, "for me to take
off flannel when it looks like spring."
perhaps So" replied the wife, "but l
never saw any flannel that looked like
spring"
THE highest office within the gift of the
government is the superintendency of the
weather signal station on Pixies Peak,
which is fourteen thousand feet above the
sea level.
MARKET REPORTS s-Tongue plenty, but
going fast ; brains scarce and wanted 4;
cheek, full supply; pluck, market bare
hearts, unsteady, price fuctuating, mostly
sold for cash on delivery.
ONE of the features of street life in New
York is a little Italian boy, who draws re-
markably spirited and well-executed pic
lures on the sidewalks with colored cray
ons. He is always surrounded by acrowd,
| by which he is well rewarded.
A GRAvE-DIGeER, walking in the streets
of Windsor, Va, the other day, CHANGED
to turn. and noticed two doctors walking
behind him. He stopped till they passed,
and then followed on behind them
"Any why this ?" said they. 81 know
my place in this procession" said he.
PROF. KNowLToN says that girls grow
into Just such women as men like. III, he
saws, we want them stronger and nobler,
we must appreciate and encourage all who
try to give themselves the old-fashioned,
simple, healthful training.
A CITIZEN of Chicopee, Mass, a short
time since, missed one of his boots,
which could nowhere be found. His wife,
few evenings since, dropped her
hustle in one of the stores, and the
lost boot made its appearance as part OF
the stuffing.
THE Meriden Republican is responsible
for this: ga man in neighboring town
ties his cat up by the tail in the back
ward every night; in the morning he goes
| out and collects the pieces of soap, shaw
ing pots, soap dishes, old brushes, and
various other things thrown into the yard
by disturbed and angry boarders III the
adjoining houses"
AT Patterson, New Jersey, the mos
quitoes are so large that the dwellers IN
| houses Just put in the whole window sash
without the glass, thus securing plenty OF
fresh air, and obviating the expense OF
1 xNf 4In
are small enough to get their heads through
the sash, but they stick at the shoulders.
st LOUIS Journal.
AN enterprising Louisville reporter
| tbought thai he was on the track of
blood curdIIng item the other day, and
watched for two mortal hours couple OF
girls who were cleaning the dormer win
! dows on the roof of the house. 1t was no
use; the girls got through the job with
no apparent trouble, and the disguised
and disappointed reporter had his watch
for nothing.
A LADY went out shopping, promising
her little son that she would get him
cocoanut. She procured one wlts musk,
/ in which state he had never seen one.
On arriving at home, she gave 1t to the
boy. who looked at it curiously, smiled
| and laid il down. "Mothor, where's my
cocoanut >" 81 Just gave it to you" she
replied. Taking it up again, he viewed
| il contemptuously for a moment and ex-
claimed: THAT thing a cocoanut? L
thought it was waterfall"
DoxN PIATT writes from White Sui
phur Springs: "The father of the belle
here, it is said, the other day, shortly
after his return to the Springs, was ap-
preached by youth who requested few
minutes conversation in private, and be-
gan: 4 was requested to see you, sir, by
YOUR lovely daughter. Our attachment
Young man. interrupted the parent,
brlsklv, Il don't know what that girl of
mine is about You are the fourth gen.