Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-06-15
Facts and HS:aMcles.

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she pleases.
| A New York school boy defined
lady to be ga CROWD up girl WHO doesn't
cuss nor swear"
"Wood is the thing, after all, as the
man with wooden leg said, when the
mad-dog bit it.
Old maids are said to be rare in Chi
ma, but rare old China is frequently
found among old maids.
An Oshkosh paper is anxious to know
whether they saved any of the vegeta-
bles when Niblo's Garden burned.
Tho regular semi annual trial of Nc
Donald Cheek, the Indiana murderer,
commenced on Monday last Chicago
Post.
A daykey says "All men are made
ob clay, and, like meerschaum pipes,
are more val'atle when dey are highly
colored
' My lord" said the foreman of an
Irish jury, when giving in the verdict,
j" we find the man who stole the horse
not guilty"
1t is said that the light of match
will frighten a wolf but love match
sometimes fails to keep the wolf from
the door.
4 Chicago woman has married man
in Jail. She brngs that she is the
only girl in town that knows whers her
fellow stays of nights"
{" Can you change two dollar bill ?"
said an impecunious drlnker TO the bar
tender "Yes." "Well, when | get u
two dollar bill I'll bring i: in.
The Detroit Free Press says en- old
man Of that city has played ninety
thousand games OF checkers. What u
checkered career that old man must have
had
| The euphemestie way Of putting it
now, when fellow gets kicked, is to
say that somebody's boot-toe casually
walked over the basement of your pan
falcons.
A defendant in a New York court pro-
duced letter from his waSherwoman
| testifying to his good character This
witty stroke of dat-irony produced his
release.
"Why did he not die ?" is the title
/ of new novel. We have not read the
conundrum, but believe the answer to
be-" Because he didn't take his med
| icine"
Mr.. Greeley boldly proclaims that
the man who accuses him OF endeavor-
ing to raise pretzels at Chappaqna by
planting the eyes, is an assassin and
horse thief.
| Cincinnati has of late years lost some>
thing Of her prestige aud pre- eminence
in pork packing; but the Davis and
Adams men assert that she can beat
the world packing a conventiou.-C CAi,
cago Post
X man named Wells. having stepped
upon a quicksand in the river. near
Brownville Texas, instantly sank out Of
sight, whercupon one Of the company
remarked, That's new way Of sink
ing wells
1t is reported that several Of The dis
tingushed gentlemen who "burncd the
bridges" on their way to Cincinnati, are
now anxious for canoes or something in
which to ferry themselves back to the
party.
| Hon. William Parsons, in New York
town, found himself advcr ised to ect-
ure on "Wicked Angels" The Secre.
tary declared that he wrote Michael
Angelo" but OF course the printer was
to blame.
The discovery of diamonds in the ma
trix of zauthophylIitic schst has ava
kened much discussion among Euro
pean geologists and creates lively feel
ings of alarm in the breast of the intel
ligent composition.
Two young men, hunting on the st
Sebastian river, near st. Augustine, Fla
the other day, proposed to sit down on
certain log to rest, but changed their
minds when they found it to be lively
alligator.
"Correct likeness of yourself sent,
and your fortune told" Young Green
in answer to the above advertisement,
receives looking glass, and is inform
ed he can tell his own fortune by count
ng his money.
Attendance at the afternoon chapel
service at Yale is now optional, Sunday
week witnessing the adoption of the new
system All but thirty OF the students
siguifcd their approval of the idea by
staying away from church.
There is certain Methodist church
which stands on the boundary line be
tween Ohio and Pennsy ylvania, in such
way that the pulpit is in the former
State and the pews in the latter. A
Pennsylvania paper thereupon takes oc
easion to state that while the hearers
are in one State the preacher is in anoth-
er State discoursing on the future state.
The deadly cocoanut has been added