The Portland daily press., 1872-08-10


to live out in that parish in them days and
Lem Sudoc and | used to go out sparkin'
Sunday nights to see the Larkin gals-and
we had to 90 right cross the lot where Dick
was-so we used to go and stand at the fence
and call, and Dick would see us and put down
his head and run at us full chisel, and come
butt agin the fence and then Ia catch him by
the horns and hold him, while Lem run and
got over the fence tother side the lot, and
then I'd let 90 and away he would go full
Init at Lem and Lem would ketch his horns
and hold him till came over-that was the
way we managed Dick-but eft he came snd-
den I'D behind Teller, he'd give him butt
in the small OF the back that would make
him run on all tours one while-he was a
great rogue, Dick was. Wal, that summer 1
remember they had old Deacon Titkins for
tithing man, and tell you he gave il to the
bows liyely There warn't no seepin' nor no
playin', for the deacon had eyes like gim-
blet, and he was as quick as a cat, ana the
Youngsters he'd to look out for themselves,
it did really seem as if the deacon was like
them four beasts in the Revelations that was
full O. eyes behind and before, for whichever
way he was standin', if you give only wink
he was down on you, and hit you tap with
his stick. l knew once Lem Sudoc Just wrote
two words in the Psalm book and passed it
to Keziah Larkin, and the deacon gave him
and vowed he'd be up with him some day for
that"
"Well, Lordy massy, folks thai is so chip
per and high steppin' has to have their come
downs, and the deacon had to have his"
THAT are Sunday, l remember it now
jest as well as if twas yesterday. The
parson he gave us his great sermon, recon-
cilln' DEGREES and free agency-everybody
said that are sermon was a MASTERPIECE.
Hn had ItrHt to nhrs1 Mt
mencement, but it SO happened it was one
o. them blin hot days that come in August,
when you can fairly hear the huckleberries
sizzln' and cookin on the bushes and the
locust keeps a gratin like red hot saw. Wal,
such time, DEGREES or no DEGREES, the best
on us will get sleepy. The old meetin' house
stood right down at the foot of a hill that
KEEP off all the wind, and the sun blazed
away at them great western winders, and
there was pretty sleepy time there. Wal,
the deacon he. flew round spell, and woke
up the children and tapped the boys on the
head, and KEEP everything straight as he
could till the sermon was most through,
when he rally got most tuckered out, and he
took chair and sot down in the door right
opposite the minister and fairly got asleep
HIMSELF jest as the minister got up to make
the last prayer"
oval, Parson Morrel had way O. prayin'
"AoAA AAio SJSS OPCii. fOlho odlu III WdIu tuC
best way, but it wasjParson Morrel's way any,
how, and SO as he was prayin' he couldn't
help SEEM that Deacon Titkins was noddin'
and bobbin' out toward the place where old
Dick waas feedin' with the sheep, front O.
the meetin' house door,
Lem and me was sittin' where we could
look out, and we jest see old Dick stop feedin',
and look at the deacon. The deacon had
little round head as smooth as an APPLE
with n ninn ,loxybarad ,rirr H.
there maxim hobs and bows, and Dick begun
to think it was suthin' sort o. pussonal. Lem
and me was sittin' jest where we could look
out and see the hull pictur, and Lem was fit
to split"
''Good, now," says he, ''that critter'n pay
the deacon off lively pretty soon."
'The deacon bobbed his head spell, and
old Dick he shook his horns and stomped at
him sort O. threatenin'. Finally the deacon
he gave great bow and brought his head
right down at him, and old Dick he sot out
full tilt and come down on him ker chunk,
and knocked him head over heels into the
broad aisle, and his wig flew one way and he
tother, and Dick made lunge at it as it
flew, and carried it off on his horns''
oval, you may believe that broke up the
meetin' for one while, for Parson Morrel
laughed out, and all the girls and boys they
stomped and roared, and the old deacon he
he didn't see the joke ont"
You don't orter laugh says he, it's no
laughing matter-its solemn thing says
he. L might have been sent into 'tarnity by
that darned critter,' says he. Then they all
roared and haw-hawed the more to see the
deacon dancin' round with his little shiny
head, so smooth fly would trip up ont. 4
believe, my soul, you'd laugh to see me in nv
grave says he!
oval, the truth ont was, twas jest one of
them bustin' up times that natur has, when
there ant nothin' for it but to give in, twas
jest like the ice breakin' up in the Charles
river-it all comes at once and no whoa to It.
Sunday or no Sunday, sin or no sir, the most
on 'em laughed till they cried, and couldn't
help it.
''But the deacon he went home feelin,
pretty sore about it, Lem Sudoc he picked
up his wig and handed it to him. Says he,
old Dick was playing tithing man, want
he, deacon? Teach you to make allowance
for other folks that get sleepy"
'Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to Aunt
Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly Hokum's,
and they he'd pot O. tea over it, and greed
it was awful of Parson Morrel to set SIGH an
example, and suthin' had got to be done
about it. Miss Holzum said she alters knew
that Parson Morrel hadn't no spiritooality,
and now it had broke out into open sin, and
led all the rest of 'em into it, and Mrs. Tit |
kins she said such man want fit to preach, |
and Miss Hokum said she couldn't never hear |
him ag'in and the next Sunday the deacon |
and his wife they hitched and driv eight miles |
over to Parson Lothrop's and took Aunt |
Polly on the back seat.
"Wal, the thing growed and growed till it |
seemed at if there warn't nothin' else talked |
about, cause Aunt Polly and Miss Titkins |
and Jerushy Scran they didn't do nothin' but |
talk about it, and that sot everybody else |
a-talkin'.
'Finally, it was greed they must hev a
council to settle the hash. So all the VIM
men they went to chopping mince, and
making up punkin pies and cranberry tarts,
and bilin' doughnuts, getten' ready for the
ministers and delegates-'cause counsels
always eat powerful-and they had quite
stir, like gineral trainin. The bosses, they
was hitched all up and down the stalls.
a-stompin' and switchen' their tails, and ali
the women was a-talkin', and they he'd I'D
everybody round for witnesses, and finally
Parson Morrel he said: Brethren saws he.
jest let me tell you the story jest as it hap
pened, and if you don't every one of you
laugh as hard as did, why, then, I'll give
up.'"
''The parson was master hand at settin'
of story and afore he'd done, he got 'em all
in SIGH roar they didn't know where to
leave Off. Finally, they give sentence that
there hadn't no tempsation took him but
such as is common to man; but they advised
him afterward alters to pray with his ewes
shet, and the parson he confessed he orter "a
lone it, and meant to do better in future,
and so they settled it.
80, boys" said Sam, who always drew a
moral, I'VE see it Farms you you must take
care what ye look at, eff we want to keep
from laughin' in meeting"
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