Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-06-29
Varieties.

MENDING clock is an effectual way
of "improving time"
ONE of the "voices of the night
Scat!
WHAT is taken from you before you
get it? Your photograph.
"TEETH extracted with great pain,"
is the rather ambiguous advertisement
of a dentist.
CONNECTED WITH THE RING-The bell
handle.
They "beautify the fronts of the
churches" in Danbury, Conn.,, by set
ting up posts for the young men to lean
against while waiting for their sisters.
WITH what musical instrument would
you catch , fish? Cast-a-net.
QUEEN ELIZABETH always displayed
her worst temper in her clothes. She
was dreadfully ruffied then.
WHERE is money first mentioned in
the Bible? When the dove brought
the green back to Noah.
CELEBRATED wit was asked if he
knew Theodore Hook. eyes," he re-
piled, Hook and eye are old acquaint.
ances."
A CITY missionary was asked the cause
of his poverty" Principally" said
he, with twinkle of the eye, "because
have preached SO much without
notes."
DUMB man recently went to law with
deaf man. The latter, of course, was
the deaf endant.
MAN in Windham county, Conn.,, is
said to be working up u saw-log thirty
feet long into fife for Gilmore's Jubi-
lee. 1t will be blown by nitro glycerine.
FISH are so thick in Clear Lake, Cali
fornia, that veracious citizen says:
" 1t is only necessary to wade in and
choose your fish, the difficulty being
which fish to choose"
"SALTs of demoniac" were recently
called for at country store in Western
Massachusetts,. The apothecary filed
the bill with a pint of New England
rum. Anything more demoniac than
that, he said, wasn't down in his materia
medca.
A KANSAS paper, in reporting trial,
concludes with "the jury returned
verdict of not guilty, but if the prisoner
is sharp, he will leave town without loss
of time"
AN old gentleman is living at the
Astor House, New York, who registered
his name on the books of the hotel the
first day it was opened, and has been
there ever since, period of thirty-four
years.
AN Ingenious youth, in Quincy, ILL.,,
has been doing a thriving trade in sell
ing rats tails, planted in flower pots, to
unsophicated florists, as specimens OF a
new species of cactus.
"WHo is he?" said passer-by to
policeman who was endeavoring to raise
an intoxicated individual who had fallen
into the gutter. "Can't say, Sir" re
piled the policeman; she can't give an
account of himself" "Of course not"
said the other how can you expect
an account from man who has lost his
balance?"
eff [ were in California;" said young
fop, in company the other evening,
instead of working in the mines, !
would waylay some miner with a bag OF
gold, knock out his brains, gather up the
gold, and rum" 81 think you would
do better to gather up the brains,"
quietly responded a young lady "a
man should always secure what he Is
most deficient in"
A YOUNG man in Hartford read some
where that more deaths occurred at five
o'clock in the morning than at any
other hour, and now gets up regularly
at four, in order to be out when Death
makes his morning calls.
THERE are two reasons why some peo-
pie don't mind their own business. One
is that they have no business, and the
other is that they have no mind.
JAS. A. BRIDGES has died in Spring
field, Massachusetts,, from diseases OF
the blood, resulting from bad corn.
After cutting the corn, he irritated it
by walking, SO that the toe had to be