The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-07-06
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES
b. Bill.

HAYS DluusOe Is iroiu the -i"~"''' AN''''S
for July. 1t occurs among B,yard Taylor
Diversions of the Echo Club
There's them that eats I'LL they're Dustin
And them that drinks MI they re oiino'
Ana them thar's snutin and spooney,
But the best of ALL 10 my nina,
fAnd Eve been around IN my time, boys,
And cayorted with any you hker
Was Big Bill. that lived in the slashes,
We called him Big Bill oPike.
rfbe nut his hand TO his bowie,
Or Scratched the scrub of his neck,
You could only tell by waitn
u see il you bled peck;
And the way he fired, twas lovely
Nobody knowed which was dead,
TIL Big Bill grinned, and the stuff un
Tumbled over onto his head
At school he killed his MASTER
Courtin he killed seven more;
And the horse was always watln,
little ways from his door,
There wasn't much growth IN the country,
As the census returns will show,
But we had Big Bill we was proud of,
And that was enough to grow.
And now Big Bill is an angel
Damn me, it makes me cry
,ist when he was rampin the toughest
The poor fellow had to die.
A thievn' and sneakin' Yankee
Got the start on our blessed Bill
And there's no one to do our KILN,
And nobody left to kill!
In this item occurs the very meanest pun we
have come across this week. 1t is ungalant,
besides:
A girl in Mount Pleasant, Ill., found life
burden because she WAS afflicted with warts on
her hands, SO she drowned herself. There was
something appropriate in her seeking watery
grave.
The Danbury Nears fellow says:
The ma iority of women care but little about
suffrage If the backs TO Car seats could only be
followed out so as to admit of their bustles lap
ping over, the ballot might 60 to thunder for all
they care.
judging from the following item the Chicago
Post must be hard.hearted journal 1t says:
"It the young woman who sends us the poem
sling on Spring will communicate to US her
address, she will be exposed"
The Danbury Neus says: Limburger
cheese arrived at the express Office Saturday
but then this is hardly "a news item, as every
body knows it.
AT another time we may tell young writers
what kind of poetry editors never reject, as for
instance this:
Poor Pr the printer was woesome and sick,
And he laid on his bed TO die;
His eyes was glazed and his breath grew thick,
And death with bis part gave Pi stick
Lilies ilail bucket he over did kick
And q selseless heap lay Pi.
The Last piece Of fun about our friend Of Chap
paqua, crops out as follows:
CuAprAQUA, June /, 1S72-Dear Sir TO
rid the American market of British cutlery is
i IL |,
theless, it will not do to dispair. l have just
purchased iock,of geese, and by feeding them
on domestic -teei-flings hope to produce pen.
knives equal to any that ARE manufactured in
England. H.. U.
A Boston editor is guilty of the following:
A haud-organist comes round to our Office
every day or two and plaintively grinds out
about Come hoi4e, dear father, come home
He is informed that ne need not come here ug ain.
The old gentleman went home yesterday.
IT, all hoax about there being II Dolly Var.
den fellow at Bristo! Station. Surplus pop
had excited Bunsby, our correspondent, to an
Incorporate zeal.-Iorh0We Nems.
Tha y the first time We ever knew "intern.
perat cal to be excited by such Indifferent
liquid.
Righteousness applied to Mr. Necdharn's case
by us, means just what Webster says it neaus--
upright, Just, virtuors, honest, equitable, right
fu, ". Webster says nothing about sugar mol
sand in this connection neither does the ont
suggest the other ais community forhcM
NGicS.
As the foregoing IS intended piece 0
special instruction for US we gladly give it
place. We beg the pardon Of the Mars, NJ,
Needhsm and the venerable Webster. We shal
never again associate sugar and sour with an
Of them.
List of Patents.