Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-03-09

A tight ft-AThs deIiriam itremens.
.eA2 dapecreuss yegetable-rAn arti-

IL
.eAsdapeereusS yegetable--An arti-
eaaee1essss..z>~sssz-ss.
A pledge of reaaloTe-Popping the
quest9nW DsJsilCnq a aFTaAs5) mr.
The press that printers like--A press
of business. .sdjnom "a
ia horse says neigh to- oats, don't
believe him, 14ss h yfssrss,gst 49,
nQuery--Doesi dumb man always
keep his wordi stslso &. bBe aoi
To keep potatoes from freezing
Bake them tor sbreakfast.sa gM8l
sThcfee isa fellow in gWaukegan so
weak that he can not heaye a.sigh.
w Why is a young lady like a music
book : Because she is full OF airs. eil
Why is milk like the treadmills
Because it strengthens tile calves.
The sailor who wanted to know
what time it vas has since gone. to
ySsissSy. 10 s~ssssnszgl sssSp Er,xf-s-s.
An old miser, going down his cellar
steps the other day, fell against his
wiil.oIa gEAs maI TGi,e4Eg iIegti
Why is the figure niue like a pea
cock 3 Because it's nothing without
its TAIL .n ! . ~ gSsi1li.5 bax
why is a ship called "sher Why,
because the rigging costs more than
the hull. tliil 7,li7 fts'e - y a'7'
They used to call 1 lady'ss man
beau, They call him now bo-er,
What rock.is most unsuitable for .
foundation f-The shamrock. 9Arrah,
bad luck to yell 4llse,,, a. sssiustsIA
haWhat has the largest circulation in
tile world b The Bazarga No. What
then? The blood.
y A man may have enough of the
world to sink him, but can never have
enough to satisfy him. qSleYas e
Why is the letter G. like a gentle
man who has left an evening party /
Because it makes one gone. q -
Some Consolation The plainest NO
man alive, it she reaches the age of
eighty, will be q pretty old one.
A chinese thief, having stolenIa mis-
sienary's watch, brought it, hack to
hims the next day ysto learn how to wind
it up.
An artist painted cannon so natu.
rally that, when he was finishing the
TOUGH hole it went off ut a veryIgood
] price.
what Is the difference between
Christian and a'cannibalfi The one
enjoys himself, and the other enjoys
other people; ,s.s ~ ~
The young widow who was buried
| in grief is now alive and doing well.
1t was only another instance of prema-
ture interment. Hfa 1sslef 1ka1a as8
.eItis of no advantage to have live
~ mind, if we are not Just. The per-
fiction of the pendulum is not to 60
fast, but to be regular.
Narrow-minded people are like mar.
row necked bottles, for the less they
have in them the more noise they
make in pouring it out. .es
Why is dressing fatiguing processi
Because it's a-tiring (attiring) YOUR
SELF Strange that this thought so
seldom occurs to the ladies.
Jones asks, g If small girls are waits
are larger ones wafersin. "Certainly,r
says sweet sixteen. At least the
boys have a habit of. applying them to
their lips in scaling their vows.r
A minister not long ago preached
from the text. "Be ye therefore stead
fast = bnt the printer made him ex-
pound q Be ye there for breakfast,
isaA MANLY ANswER--A Boy WHO
WILL MAKE HIS MARK IN THE
WORLD. .-All honor to the boy who
! cannot be laughed out or doing right.
Five boys, pupils in the boarding
school, were I'M the room. Four Of
them, contrary to the rules, engaged
in q game ofcards. The fifth was not
standing and looking on, to see how
the game would 60, but engaged in
work, OF his own. 1t so, happened that
one Of the players was called out.
Come" said the others to their
3cOmpanion. sitis too bad to have the
game stopbere in the middle. Come
and take his place = l6,..S ~,n :,
.,;.l..s 20 uti!l not know one card ld from an
'sFhat makes no difference J; we win
Fteaeh yonI Come now, do not let our
sport be spoiledp .1w9,
The boy perceived that this, was the
decisive moment. All, just such are
I the critical points, whichare sometimes
4 this turning points in life. sA sei-g
19iiHis resolutien was Immediately ta-
4 ken He made no. more excuses, but
at once planted himself square upon
lpfihciple. - ~ = - Sa
Dan MyIfatherdoes not Wish me to play
cards, and ! shall not act contrary to
his wishes
Fhis ended the matter. at estab-
lished his position anon Z his compan-