Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1872-07-03
Snosrille M'sekly Chronicle.
American Battle of DOrking. Or, II. G. at
the White House.
BY MAN ADELER.

BY MAN ADELER.
You ask me to tell you, my children, of
the events which Immediately preceded
can Union and the capture of the country
by its present European rulers, and to say
something also of the cause which led to
these deplorable results. / undertake the
task with heavy heart for when L re-
vert to that terrible time 1 can not help
contrasting our proud condition up to that
fatal year with the humiliating position
occupied now by the American people,
The story is q short one. In the fall of
1872 Horace Greeley, the editor of a news
paper in New York, was elected President
of the United States. The people voted
for him because they thought he was an
honest man and so he was. But he was
also vain and weak, and he entertained
certain fanatical and preposterous notions
about agricultural matters, for instance
which he was determined to force upon
the people at all hazards and despite all
opposition. He believed, among other
things, that every man ought to 90 West
to earn his bread and long before he was
chsoen President he used to advise every
body to move to that region as a cure for
all the disasters that could befall the hui
man family.
AS soon as he reached the Executive
Mansion, which we used to call the White
House, President Greeley organized an
army of two hundred thousand men, and
proceeded to force the entire population of
the sea-board States westward at the point
of the bayonet. The utmost violence was
used. Those who resisted were shot down,
and their dead bodies were carted off to a
national factory which the President had
established for making some kind of fam
all oct l,,
East were depopulated, and the towns were
entirely empty. The army swept before it
millions of men, women and children, I'M
til the vast plains west of Kansas were
reached, when the pursuit ceased, and the
army was drawn up in continuous line,
with orders to shoot any person who at
tempted to visit the East. OF course hun
dreds of thousands of these poor creatures
persisted from starvation. This seemed to
brighten President Greeley and he sent a
message to Congress recommending that
seven hundred thousand volumes of "a book
of his, entitled "What / Know About
Farming" should be voted for the relief of
the starving sufferers. This was done, and
farming implements and seeds were sup
piled, and then the millions of wretched
outcasts made an effort to till the ground.
OF the result of this | will speak further
on.
In the mean time the President was do
ing infinite harm to the country in another
way. His handwriting was so fearfully and
wonderfully bad that no living man could
read it. And so, when he sent his first an
nual message to Congress-the document
was devoted wholly to the tariff and agri-
culture-a sentence appeared which subse
quently was ascertained to be, Large
cultivation of rutabagas and beans is the
only hope of the American nation, / am
sure" The printers, not being able to in
matt 5,i- in, f,ll fot-,N
in which it went to the world: 1.-The Gar
ofRussia couldn't keep clean if he washed
himself with the whole Atlantic Ocean
once day ~ This perversion of the mes
sage was immedialy telegraphed to Russia
by the Russian minister, and the Gar was
so indignant that he Immediately declar-
ed war. Just at this time President Gree
ley undertook to write some letters to
Prince Bismarck upon the subject of pota-
to rot, and, after giving his singular views
at great length, he concluded with the
statement that if the Emperor William
said that subsoil blowing was not good in
light soils, or that guano was better than
bone dust, he was "a liar, villain and a
slave W OF course the Emperor also i'm
mediately declared war, and became an
ally of Russia and of England, against
which latter country Mr.. Greeley had ac-
tually begun hostilities already, because
the Queen in her speech from the throre
had declared the IrI0ulle's advocacy OF q
tariff on pig-irOn incendiary and calculat
ed TO disturb the peace of nations.
Unhappily this was not the full measure
of our disasters. The President had SEN
TO the Emperor of Austria copy o
his book, "What L Know about Farm
ing" with his autograph upon fly
leaf. The Emperor mistook his signature
for a carieature of the Austrian eagle ant
he readily joined in the war against tn
United States while France was provok
ed TO the same act by the fact that whel
the French minister came to call upon MI
Greeley to present his credentials, tn
President, who was writing an editorial a
that time, not comprehending the Frencl
language, misto0k the ambassador for
begger, and, without looking up, handle
him a quarter and an order for a clea
shirt, and said to him, go West, youni
mango West!n So all these nation
joined in making war upon the Unite
States. They swooped down upon on
coasts, and landed without opposition, fC
those exposed portions of our unhapp
country were absolutely deserted. Th
President was afraid TO call away the arm
from Kansas at first, for fear the outrage
people upon the plains would come Ea'
In spite Of him. But at last he did sun
mon the army TO his aid, and 1t moved
meet the enemy. 1t was too late. Befor
the troops reached Cincinnati the foreign
ers had seized Washington and all Il
country east of the Ohio, and had hung Il
President, the cabinet, and every memb'
of Congress.
The army disbanded in alarm, and ii