Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-03-02
THINGS.

Why Is a young girl Ike q music
hook2 Because she Is full Of sirs.
"Madam,n said a crOss-tempered
physician to q patient, "if women
were admitted to paradise their
tongues would make it purgatory."
sand some physicians, If allowed to
practice there" replied the lady,
Fswouid make 1t desert.p The OPP
pressed one had him there.
John g. SAKE is responsible for the
following paraphrase from Martial:
Your nose and your eyes your father gave
Your mouth your grandsirs, and your
mother meek
Your fine expression; tell msnow, 1 pray,
Where In the name Of heaven, you got
your cheeks
A citizen OF the suburbs, who had
bought some pills Of a quaek doctor,
became nervOusly fearful that they
might contain poison, and did not
take them, but his wife becoming Ill
a few days after, he gave them to her.
Finding them harmless, he fOolishly
exposed his previous suspicious, and
il his wife doesn't experiment on him
the next time he Is sick, she must be
a very weak woman.
A cOlOred lyeeum has discussed the
question, (which is the most USE
ul, paper or gunpoWder?" The debate
was closed by q dispdtant, who spoke
as follows: "Mr, President-'Spose
dar was a bar out dar at de door, and
YOU was to go dar and shake de paper
at him, you'd see what de bar would
do. But Jess shoot a cannon at him
and mark de result. IcaIs for de
question" The president forthwith
decided In favor Of powder.
A farmer recently bargained his
farm to another farmer for $1,000. but
when the day and the purchaser ar
rived, informed him that his wife was
in Mysteries about the trade, and he
guessed he would back out. "But,"
said the purchaser, 81 have come a
long distance, want the farm, and
must have 1t. How much more
would induce you to SELF" well"
replied the agriculturist, s'give me
$3.50 more and let her cry"
Hssh-hOOse guest How comes
this dead fly in my sOup?" Waiter
In fRet, sir, 1 have nc possible idea
how the poor thing came to- It's death.
Perhaps 1t had not taken any food for
a long time, dashed upon the soup,
ate too much OF it, and contracted an
Inflammation OF the stomach that
brought on death. The fly must have
q very weak constitution, for when /
served thesoup Il was dancing merrily
on the surface. Perhaps-and the
idea presents itself only at this mo-
ment-it ~endeavcred to swallow too
large a piece Of vegetable; this re-
naming fast In his throat, caused q
choking in the ~Windpipe. This is the
only reason 1 could give for the death
of this insect.u
The London correspondent Of the
Boston Advertiser tells the following
good story: "Wnen stopping at one
OF the colleges lately, I was told a good
story OF n. Tame, which is literally
true, and which has never appeared IN
print. Max Muller went into the
diningroom of q hotel in Oxford, and
there saw Taine sitting with q dish o.
butterSd toast. The learned German
was surprised at the combination, and
at the huge quantity of the toast. IS
that q French dish7' he asked. no
said Tame, but they keep bringing II
to me in spite of all l can say to the
contrary What did you ask fort
observed his friend. Why replied
Tame, Il keep telling them to bring
pOt1T t0s, and each time they bring
me a fresh dish OF tOastI Mr.. Taine'E
pronunciation of potatoes was SC
much like 'buttered toast that the as.
tOnished waiter could not be blamed