Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-05-02

hs- Dodson ssys his friends seem de-
tcrmined to givcllim the title OF Doctor.
His butcher, baker. and all the rest do so,
hut they nut the DR.. after his name III
stead of before il
rx A German, while crossing the AL
lerliany Mountains during the WINTER
states: dat vcllgoing up de mountains
his foot slipped him on the ice, anu nc
COON down on tie broad OF his back, init
his face sticking III dc mud, and dere ne
sthood."
aD-A dead man being found at La
Crosse, Wisconsin, with seven stabs III
his back, the coroner's jury brought Ill
verdict of "prulmblo murder" y very
cautious jury.
zA very unfortunate Missouriani
went to a maskdi ball, danced sevelai
times with charming domino, ana nlla-
lv proposed an clopemcnt, when was was
agreedto Afterthe flight, he dlScovefco
to his horror thN the lady was MS WIG.
Those dealing in hair reviewers, plaster
and por,ltices would do well to call aC MS
house.
xs- A temperance editor, in drawing
attention to an articlc against ardent spir-
its in one of his papers. says: fol tiiG
Effects of Intenperance sec our insloe.
nr How young men can consent 70
loaf about the corners as they do, wnen
a good dose of s,rychnine can DO pouSii'
for sixpcnce, is really surprising.
re- Corpulelt old lady: 81 should
like ticket for the train." Booking
clerk Cwho thinks he will make a good
iokel: '" Yes'ml will you go IN the pas
scnrer train or cattle train?": Lady !;
"WcIl. if YOU arc specimen of what L
shall experience in the passenger Tram,
give mo ticket for the cattle train by All
mcalls."
e- The clergyman who boasted that
he could preach without notes, did not
mean ba,tk-'lotes.
"Fiyures won't lio." Won't theyY
Docs fashionable woman's figure tell
the truth2
Three little boys were disputing
as 10 whose father said tho shortest grace.
{" NV father saws, Lord, we thank you
for these provisions. Second" And
ninesavs. WFsther bless this food to us. >"
Third boy All, but mines the best OF
all. He shoves his plate up to mamma
and says, Darn we, fill up"
as- A reporter upon q Western paper,
speaking of certain fair creature, re-
marked that the profusion ana color OF
her hair would lead one to look upon 1t
as though It was spun by nimble fingers
of the easy hours, as they glided through
the bright June days, whose sunny rays
of the light had been caught in the mesh
es. and we're content to 60 no further.
This.is better than saying the girls halr
was red.
ea- A man advertises O few choice rat
tlesnak es for sale, and appends hint to
smch as do not wish to purchase, that
they must not handle the goods.
w- A good story is told of q st. Louis
nobhv drV goods clerk, who attended q
dance in tho rural districts a few even
;ngs since. He wore cheviot shirt, and
nut on a great many airs. Ho was somc-
what taken down, however, when he
overheard one country lass say to another:
HThat st. Louis chap slings on O heap Of
style for. feller that wears a bed tick
shirt"
They tell of farmer in kentucky
who is go lazy that when he went to hoe
corn ho worked 80 slowly that the shade
of his broad-brimmed hat killed the
plants.
na- A wretched husband in st. Paul
adyertisos for the recovery Of his wife,
ga taul woman with gray oyes, and
small babie just beginnin' to wauk," who
has been appropriated by "a taul pok
markt .felIer with red hare"
"A Western orator thus winds UP 0
detinitiemof eternity /: !" Why my friends
after MILLIONS and millions Of years hao
rolled away In eternity, cit would be. {
i hundget thousand years to breakfas
ktyno "