The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-02-21
A Judge on all Fours.

1t was during the Presidential clmpaig
which resulted in the election of Buchanan
that the writer of the appended sketch. il
company with three other politicians, TO L
from Paducah to Boston, KY. in hack
They were bound for one of the Old-fash
iOned barbeches, and he tells us what hap
pened on the way, thus:
The joking Judge NJ. was one of thu
party. and the bottles which peeped ou
from the basket under the seat seemed tt
improve the sparkle of his wit, the flower o
his jokes and the music of his laugh. unit
| the happy contagiOn even reached the
driver. Our fun was at the highest, when
! turning a curve in the road, We saw, down
| its hot, dusty stretch, solitary Ox-csrt
with its owner perched upon what proved
| 10 be bags of corn.
As kind of advance guard, great, ugly
brindle dog came trotting along i'll advance,
and attracted by our noise he threw him.
self in an attitude Of defiance, determined
to dispute our approach. With his savage
grOwl, red eyes and erect bristlcs, he m
deed presented formidable appearance.
Judge NJ. could not let such an opportunity
for practical joke pass. Said he: "I'll bet
the drinks for the day that | can run that
dog off the road" "Done," said we. Stop
ping the hack he got out. and threw the
skirts of his ''swallow-tailed" coat over his
shoulders. stuck his old slouch hat on the
back of his head, and going down on ''all
fours," he s.ampered toward the dog with
the most frigntful yells, reminding one OF
the ass in the lions skin,
This was too much for the dog, and, howl
ing with fright. he to ok to the brush. The
oxen also saw the fearful monster coming
down the road, and with one wild below
they took to the brush with their tails stand
ing straight out behind. Away they went,
with wheels bouncing in the air, bags OF
corn bursting open, and spilling their con-
tents in continuous drill. "Whoa, Blaze!
Whoa. Ball, o, Lordy, what shall dog
came from the frightened man on the cart.
as he was bounding from side to side. now
grabbinga cartpole, then catching at bag
of corn "a il went over the side.
This kind of performance couldn't last
long without a change for better or worse,
as the oxen went tearing down the steep
bank of little creek and overturned every
thing in the water, about waist deep. One
OK, getting loose, went up the opposite
bank and soon disappeared, while the other
covered down, piteouslv believing as we
came up TO the scene of the disaster. There
stood the man in water to his waist. his
wagon overturned, and half his corn soak
ing in the water, while the other half was
scattered in the woods. He looked scared
and pititul, and said, "Oh. Lordy. strang-
er. don't never do that ar any more. Tm
ruined"
1t was a splendid success, that joke, and
there stood the Judge holding on to sap
ling and laughing till the tears ran down his
cheeks.
We took up subscription for the poor
fellow. The judge headed the list with an
amount nearly covering the damages, and
we added to it until we LETT the man in
thanktulness that he had sold his corn so
well. At the barbecue, the judge bet all
his money sn little horse race, and lost,
and from that, and the effects of his drinks,
at our expense, we had to carry him to our
hack on barn door. On his way home he
insisted upon standing on his head.
Which was the ruined man?