, 1872-12-01
ROYAL AND IMPERIAL IOKERS.

enced, should venture within the smooth but
death-bearing current Of Niagara, which newt
People have played little teasing jokes with ele-
plants, and when the jokers have forgotten all
about it the gravely y-maie iestic beast has put his
foot upon the offender, and crushed the humor
out Of him forever. It has been just so with
Misunderstanding monarchs, and with cou1tiers
who thought they might joke with them.
The incarnation Of all such nonarchs
existed in the person OF an African King named
Chaka. He was given to joking at others, and
woe betide them If they did not burst With &C.
humor'' happened to cap the royal joke with a
better, Chaka broke into hilarity, which he
ended By e1claiming, 'Cut off that w1eteh's
head; ho has made mo laugh" The Caesars
men to Joke with US chaka- The great Julius,
indeed, after he became great, had no leisure
for jesting, but WAS the object Of some popu-
lar jokes, which he took with Indifference.
a joke in his presence. They would whisper
one to neighbor, and then turn pale if the
Emperor invited them to s'speak up." The
imperial table was as grand and dull Is that Of
tho copper Augustus, Louis XIV, and the En-
the Grand Monarque had to har1eq1tns. But
the harlequins Of those days we're gentlemen
and scholars. The grim Tioerius, On the other
was to puzzle. his learned guests with unan-
swerable questions, such as, ''What was thename
of the song the Syrens sang 2" and the like.
Fancy half q dozen members Of the the Society
Of Antlquaries during with =; Her Majesty and
the Bohemian girl dreamt she dwelt in? Or what
Was the Christian name of the Is f'11instrel Boy ?''
and at what period "Auld Lang Syne'' had been
young,7 Nevertheless, Tiberi4s was q nicer man
to deal with than Oaligula, al Of whose jests
we're brutally cruel, in words, and oftener in
deeds. What cruel joke YVES that when, having
nothing on but the linen apron of a victim-slayer,
he raised the 1nallet and instead Of Staying the
beast, knocked ont the brains Of the sacrificing
priest! Claudius was too huge feeder to
haye appetite for wit; but he would have
eaten tie whole beast that bis predecessor
should have killed. Yet Claudius, half beast,
himself, had d good deal of the scholar in him
was mildly witty, and Herewith as savage as an
insane hyena. We must except the occasions Of
his visiting the theatre, when he sat in Ell upper
seat, and found delight in finging nuts down
T $ tss 5na v head Of roa as oP PFSf s esep @
especial honor. Joyless Galba had mono
Of the Neroic fun in him. But though
not mirthful himself. Galba could smile when
bis dat nose, - sSimius." His successor, Otho.
was just such q wit as o man might be expected
to be who washed bis face in asses milk. II
witty men went away from him feeling dull and
heavy, it WAS the result Of their exchanging
AAAAF~AAN-A -.@
wit at second hand, as Vitel1us had, who got his
jokes from a stage-p1ayer and charioteer, in
more modern timeB, when Astleys was in its
glory, and the clown Of the ring joker that peo-
pie went to listen to, that circus clown got his
jokes, not from his own brains, but from
the Westminster boys. Jokes used to be made
at Westminster as they now are at the Stock Ez-
change, where fresh patches are served each
morning, like hot rolls. But to return to tho
Cgsars. Perhaps Vespasian was greater joker
than any Of them, but his jokes were often
broad and scurrilous. Titus was rather gracious
than given to jesting, though he enjoyed one
sorry joke, in promising to eTery suitor
vent vn W away eas radiant. T Every one" he sad,
sought to depart joyfully from tho presence
Of his Prince; and then, "the delight Of
mankind" thought no more OF his PROMISE
The chief recreation Of the gloomy Dom1tlan vas
tagonist knew what the joke would cost him if
he beat the Emperor. Altogether, those twelve
Caesars were men compounded Of the most oppo-
site qualities, with 8 small modicum Of what is
called wit among tho whole Of them Ont of al
those who followed. one alone, Hadrian, made
standing and sterling joke-a joke which has
descended to Us and added slang phrase to our
vulgar tongue. To I" scrape acquaintance comes
to us from Hadrian- He was at
saw one Of his veteran soldiers scraping
his body with tile. That was such pooc
luxury that Hadrian ordered that his old COM
rade should be supplied with more suitable
cleansing materials, and also with money. On
subsequent occasion, when the Emperor again
went to the bath, the spectacle before him was
highly amusing. 4 score Of old soldiers who
had fought under Hadrian were standing in the
water, and each Was cuGrying himself with tile
and wincing at the self~inticted rubbing. The
Emperor perfectly understood what he saw and
what was the purpose Of the sight. "Ha! ha u
he exclaimed, 'syou had better scrape one
another, my good fellows!" He added, aYou
certainly shall not scrape acquaintance with
me !"-Tenple Bar.