The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-08-27

HORACE GREELEY AS A BATHING MASTER.-
Mr.. Greeley visited Tine Island. n. Y, on
Friday, to bathe in the surf. The CONNER
ciat Advertiser has an imaginary description
of bis efforts in the water so eXqulsltely hll-
nlorous that we copy it. 1t is as good as II
it were true:
SURF HOTEL. August 90.
"Why, he can swim like duck" said an
enthusiastic Greeleyite as he stood upon the
beach to-day and watched the vegetable can
didate for the presidency buffet the pillows
of the Atlantic like d shirted dolphin. But
the next moment mighty breaker seized the
bold swimmer and stood him upon his head.
his heels beating the thin air in a desperate
struggle TO alter his abnormal attitude.
suppose there were two or three hun
dred guests, farmer folks, &C., ON the shore
ut the time. The news that Horace was
going out TO wrestle with Neptune resulted
In the forming of Il large procession, which
marched in good order to the scene of hos
tilities, and took up such favorable positions
as the nature OF the ground would permit.
As the veteran norman emerged from the
bath.house the crowd yelled approvingly,
and the boys SHE'D clanl-shells at him in IN
encouraging way.
His Apolto-like form never appeared TO
better advantage, and were it not for the
slight tendency of his right hip to play sce->aw
with bis left (producing peculiar stumbling
gait, he might be said to have advanced
"gracefully" to the water line. Half dozen
Young ludy bathers had placed themselves
under bis protection for plunge in the
brine.
ooh, dear Mr.. Greeley, know can never
stand it, said a beautiful blonde as big
wave burst, enveloping her little feet in the
creamy foam.
"Pshaw, my dear, you needn't be afraid.
I'll protect YOU" And so he did, to the
great uneasiness of her lover, who behcld
the dexterous veteran (mistaking her neck for
her waist) encircle her with his arm and
drag her after him rs though he meant to
drown her. In four feet Of water they sud
denly disappeared from view, and reappeared
after five seconds, the young lady III terri
BILE state of fright. The kind old man en-
deavored to pacify her.
'Steady, my DEAR" he said, endeavoring
TO hide his own nervousness, "there's no use
of getting flighty. 1t is natural for the hui
man faniiy to SWIM"
go, Mr.. Greeley, how can you say so!"
exclaimed the wretched maiden, wildly
squirting the sand and brine from the mouth.
You mint accustomed to it my child;
calmly endure 1t a little longer and you'll
like it."
"No, never, never. want to be unnatu-
raj. don't want to belong to the human
family, Mr.. Greeley, and" here another
huge breaker cut short her frenzy, and lift-
ing both bathers hurled the Sage headiong
over bis fair charge. A yolley of cheers arose
from the beach as he recovered himself,
quickly seized her by the back Of her neck
and one leg, and held her aloft, dripping and
struggling will, the fine energy that female
can exert under the pressure of mingled rage,
modification, and fright.
"She still lives, !" family murmurpdan old
lady near me, who, when u child, had been |
handled on John Quincy Adams's knee.
Come, that's played out, old mann fetch |
her ashore" CALCULATED an angry country
man, suggestiyely gathering handful OF
saDd. 81 thought You knew better than to |
be yanking a poor girl around in that way"
But by this time the horror.strieken and
incensed lover had waded In, boots aud oil, |!
and rescued his sweetheart from the perilous |
clutches Of the chiyalric norman, who stood |
gazing stupidity after them with his back to |
the sea, Until the waters, collecting their !
strength, struck him abeam with q mighty /
force, and landed him sprawling fur ND upor, |
the beach. That ended the sweet old phi- |
aaathrei' sttenpt to prove what g know
ahfslss astst;iissas =
FeaT saIk, August OLA thunderboltt
ats'ssesaas lsecked q buggy and horse from