The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-11-02
A MOther.in.law's Fast Ride.


Joe S. is the fort unate possessor of
mother. .in-law, and, what he probably
thought more of, among his horses was
one known as Quaker. Now Quaker
was good roader, aud could and would
jerk wagon with two iu it in 2:5l on
the road, aud the harder he was pulled
in aud the more he was yelled at, the
faster he meant to 30. In fact, when
competing horse ranged alongside and q
strong pull was taken, accompanied by
yells, he thought he must do his level
best on trotting, and you bet he did it.
Not many years ago, when the county
fair was held where Master Joe then
lived, he had old Quaker hitched up to
l3O pounds three quarter seated wag-
on, and, as he was getting in, mother. in
law wished to go with him. He iu.
form d her that he was going to the
town clerks Office at the l,w eud of
the village (about mile), and if she
was in hurry to return she would have
te drive back alone, and then cramped
the wagon for her adnittance and with
head dsooping aud slouchiug gait old
Quaker walked along, taking the i'll.
assorted pair to the town clerk Office.
Now, be it known, Joe dearly loves fun,
aud will have it as often as possible,
While lSOthef-:n-law isea rigid, old
faehiSped. sky-blue Baptist, undoubted-
ly very good but unfortunately possessed
with the idea that to laugh is to sin. It
so happened that every team at that
time was going to tho fair grounds, or
else was walking; SO Quaker had no
chance to "score up" but just as they
arrived at the Office of the town clerk,
s. saw Jack Barnes coming on his way
to the fair. Now Jack 3 mare has the
reputation of being or seconds faster
than old Quaker. To turn Quaker
around, jump out, aud advise mother in.
law to drive slow going home, was but
minutes work /; aud then holding up b ia
hand to attract Jacks attention, he told
him he would pay chicken fixings and
etceteras if he would range alongside,
Quaker at speed, yell, and spirit the old
horse up the street to che Fair Ground 3
entrance. A nod, and Jack touchas
Lady Cutter with his whip, sings out
git and lays for Quaker, who, hearing
the stopper coming, grabs at his bit.
mothcr-in-law takes hold of reins in
front of the buttons; puts fee. against
brace iron in front, and as the lady
ranges alongside, jack yelling lively,
mother in law takes her strongest pull,
screaming whoa to stop her '.auimile :"
But he didn't stop-not much--he
didn't. The pull was just enough to
steady him good whoa he evidently
considered TO be meant for sell TO the
other horse, and squatted to go his
level beat, md just did it. Now you
bet (! Barnes was actually getting left
behind, aud warming Zip 10 his work he
commenced in right good earnest to sing
out, Hi Yarr Go cr long! What are
you about! Git, won't yer?" and they
did git-nice-"both on 'em." The
people they passed seeing their spsed
and the old lady's hat on the back other
neck, her shawl streaming ou. behind,
and the courage with which sho hung
on to the lines, elapped their hands aud
en's' ,ragingly sung out, "Good, old
gal"-"Gay old bird "--"2:4O r.
Bully for old Quakvr!' And as they
passed the t~o hotels the fast boys on
the piazzas gave them three cheers with
Vim--in fact, with severa! extra Wins.
Jte's mother in.law took the frst
evening train for her Green Mountain
home. His parting words were, abe
should not dare allow her to drive Qua.
keT again, as he had cautioned her 20
drive Glow, and she had gone aud bea.
one Of the fastest horses in town.,
Joe said nsxt day, with Q quiet twin.
kle in his eye, that HE wife did not give
him "eurtain lecture" that night, and
when parties pu. up their little bets on
It, he proved by jack Barnes that they
went out to Pittsburgh for their chicken
hxings aud etceseras, aud dian't get
back until 6 o'oIock merit u,orn;ns