The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1872-06-05
LAWYERS MINISTERS AND DOCOTRs
BY o. W. HOLMES.

by o. w HOLMES
The lawyers are picked lot, first
scholars" and the like, but their busi-
ness is as unsympathizing as Jack
Ketch's. There is nothing humaniz-
ing in their relations with their fellow
creatures. They go for the sice that
re:ains them. They defend the man
thev know to be a rogue, and not
very rarely throw suspicion on the
man they know TO be innocent. Mind
YOU, | am not finding fault with them,
every side of a case has a right to the
best statement il admits Of; but | say
il does not tend to make them sympa-
thetic Suppose in case of Fever
~. Patient, the doctor should side with
either party according to whether the
old miser or his expectant heir was his
employer. Suppose the minister
should side with the Lord or the Dey-
il. according TO the salary offered and
other incidentil advantages, where
the soul of a sinner was in question.
You can see what a piece of work it
would make of their sympathies. But
the lawyers are quicker witted than
either of the other professions, and
ADLER men generally. They are good
natured, or, if they quarrel, their
guarrels are above-board. | don't
think they are as accomplished a. the
ministers, but they have a way of
cramming with special knowledge for
a case which leaves a certain shallow
sediment of intelligence in their men,
ories about about good many things.
They are apt to talk law in mixed
company, and they have away look
ing round when they make a point, a.
if they were addressing jury, that is
mighty aggrayating, a. | once had oc-
casion TO see when one of 'em, and a
pretty famous one, put me on the wit
uess-stand at a dinner-party once.
The ministers came next In point
of talent. They are far more curious
and widely interested outside of their
own calling than either of the other
professions. / like to talk with 'em.
They areinteresting men, full of good
feeling, hard workers, always foremost
in good deeds, and on the whole the
most efficient ciyilizing class, work
ing-downwards from knowledge to ig-
norance, that is,-now and then up
wards, also,-that We have. The
trouble is, that so many of them work
in harness, and ii is pretty sure to
chafe somewhere. They too often as
sumo principles which would cripple
our instincts and reason and give Us
crutch of doctrine. / have talked
with a great many of 'em of all sorts
of belief, and / don't think they have
fixed everything in their own minds,
or are a. dogmatic in their habits of
thought as one would think to hear
'em Law down the law in the pulpit
They use to lead the intelligence Of
their parishes; now they do pretty
well if they keep up with it, and they
are very apt to lag behind it. Then
they must have a colleague. The old
minister thinks be can hold to his old
course, sailing right into the minds
eve of human nature, as straight as
that famous old skipper John Bunyan;
the Young minister falls of three or
four points and catches the breeze that
left the old mans sails all shivering
By and by the congregation will get
ahead of him, and then it must have
another new skipper. The priest
heads his own pretty well the minis
ter is coming down every generation
nearer to the common level of the use
ful citizen,-no Joracles at all, but a
man Of more than average moral ill.,
stincts, who if he knows anything,
knows how little he knows. The min
listers are good takers, only the strug-
gle between nature and grace makes
some of 'em little awkward occa-
sionally. The women do their best
10 spoil 'em, as they do the poets; you
find it very pleasant to be spoiled, no
doubt; so do they. Now and then
one of them goes over the dam; no
wonder, they're always in the rapids.
By this time our three ladies had
their faces all turned toward the
speaker. like the whether-cocks in a
northeaster, and / thought it best TO
switch off the tail unto another rail
How about the doctors II said.
Theirs is the least learned of the
professions, in this country at least.
They have not half the general cul-
ture of the lawyers, nor q quarter of
that of the ministers ] rather think,
though that they are more agreeable
to common run of people than the
men with black coats or the men with
green bags. People can swear before
'em If they want TO swear or not don't
care whether they want 10 swear or
EGt, they don't want TO be on their
good behavior. Besides, the minister
has little smack of the sexton about
him; he comes when people are ia
extremes, but they don't send for him
every time they make a slight moral
slip,-tell lie for instance, or smug-
gle silk dress through the custom
house but they call in doctor when
a child is cutting a tooth or gets q
splinter in its finger So it doesn't
mean much when you send for him,
only a pleasant chat about the news
of the day; for putting the baby to
rights doesn't take long. Besides,
everybody doesn't like to talk about
he next world; people are modest in
their desires, and find this world as