The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-02-04
1,rnlng Star and Catholic Messenger.
aEW OELEAND. SUNDAY, xEBRUx RE4s ls7e
W.T. AMD wmD0N.

II ~
What 10 that which is full of holes and
still holds waterf Aspongei
What is that which makes everybody
sick but those who swallow itf Flattery.
When is, a theatrical manager like an
astronomerf When he discovers new
star
Why is your chambermaid immortal
She returns to dust every day without
dying.
"Brown, what did you clear by that
speculation Z" 81 cleared my pockets"
said Brown.
sNothinR Ike perseverance, Young
man, begin by turning grindstone, and
you msy in time become IN organ grinder.
A friend asks why are fashionable
Young ladiea brains like speckied trout
because they love to sport under q water
fall.
ed in his boots, threatened to chew up the
shoemaker, but compromised by drinking q
cobbler.
msm he, 1 sbas!a IL shall not be fright
e1ed, then; for never knew You to pay
15thing that you owed"
"Are these two rooms to be let Z" said
polite gentleman to a handsome young
lady. dyes, air." '.Are you to let with
them Z" "No, sir. I'm to be let alone"
An old lady told her son to list tue door
make it WORSE" he replied; "for yon
know the wind bloweth where it listeth."
"James," said young wife to her hus-
band q few days after marriage, "you were
honest enough to tell me that the chimney
smoked, but why didn't you tell me that
you smoked yourself"
A gentleman remarks eff, in our
school days, the Rule of Three was pro-
verbally trying, how much harder in after
life do we find the Rule of One ." He has
been married only fourteen months.
A mathematician of note is calculating
the chances for a repetition of the Chicago
confagration. All the progress he has
made thus far is to ascertain that there are
10, OOO, COO cows in the United States.
An Altoona youth, to conceal it from
his mother, put lighted cigar in his
pocket, which contained some loose gun
powder. His clothes needed considerable
patching, but Ire has no more appetite for
cigars.
A gentleman describing wedding the
other day got off the following extraordi-
nary sentence in regard to the bride: " In
her bong face the twin roses of health and
beauty shone." He probably meant to say
bonny, but, /" the confouuded printers"
A precocions youth who had been in the
habit of stealing was at last taken before
magistrate. .' So You are fond of stealing.
a .Now what would you steal if I were to
let you got" "Id steal away, sir" He
was discharge.
Sambo, my massa always trabble;
your ebber stay at home" "Dat berry
true, Jim but you know what the proverb
say-rollin stone gadder no moss" "No,
!Sambo, but it gadder polish; and dat
r6So rSafs QHn havr
much in need OBJ"
bus" I've known yer ever since yon was
born. knowed yer mother; she had two
on yer at that time. One was a very nice
little boy; t'other was a half idiot-a sort
of brown paper Teller. The very nice
little boy died very young, he did"
"Take Notice.-All persons residing in
the city of GAINESVILLE owning or having in
his or her possession any dog or pup, and
suffering the same to run at large without
being securely muzzlcd so as to prevent her
biting, will be killed if found running at
the Mayor"
A Suitable Answer.-The tailor who
contracts for the supply of pauper uniforms
to tue - Union is a genius. The other
OF the inmates, in the imbecile department
particularly, had q suit of clothes the right
size for him. Ships reply was, that he had
purPosely made up the clothes in that man
ner in order-to prevent the patients from
having fit.
A reverend gentleman was addressing a
school concert recently, and was trying to |
enforce the idea that the hearts of the little |
ones were sinful, and needed regulating |
IaEing his watch and holding it up, he
'said =" Now, here is my watch; suppose
|lt don't keep good time; now going too
with it Z" "Sell it," shouted faxen-
haired youngster.
political orator in Kent has recently
j crowded history" by referring to "the
prom coffin of De Soto, containing the gold
trumpet presented to that illustrious dis
Eoverer by Queen Victoria" "Why, you
Fool" exclaimed an intelligent auditor,
[ Queen Victoria wasn't born for more'n
wo hundred years after De Soto died; an
pow could she give him a gold trumpet 2"
she left it to him in her will" solemnly
replied the orator.
a..