davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
/ Lone Widow Under Ground


The other day, OH the Metropolitan
railway, sat next to little long
nOsed man with red whiskers. OppO-
site t. us sat q middle aged lady in
black. The little man stared at her
very hard, fidgeted a good deal, and
opened n conversation.
''In mourning, ma'am. 1 SCI"
''Eh? Yes spoken rather sharp
"sad thing that. One of the old
people perhap7?"
HNO."
zone Of the young ones: Baby,
Eh? >"
'sI have no babies"
"Of course not. The suvnor-hus-
band you knOw?r
"Yes." Very sharply
'':SOrry for that. Sudden, perhaps
mo"
"Ah! lingering illness; that's worse
sometimes. In trade was he?'
"He was a sailor"
Caught n fever, perhaps ~
"He was drowned
After a pause
Save his ehest?"
My nU~bdUuN tieclS were Hot
LOST
Religious sort of 4 man was he 81
"Nes, he was
Glad Of that. Suppose you are
glad tho chest wasn't lost ~
4 suppose sO.'
After another pause
suppose you'll get married again
scOn -
The lady made 10 reply To this, but
got out AT the next station.
The little, lnng-nOsed man looked
around rs tu0nsh in search of aaOth-
or victim. ~ last he fixed on me.
Got hat-band on, see ~
"Yes, put it on because my hat
was shabby"
After q brief interval
.WOuld YOU feel inclined To swaI
your umberella for my walking stic6
rand five shillings >"
felt that the time had come FOL
decisive action. | struck the miscre
ant dead at my feet and stepped upon
/ the platform. / believe he is buried
[ have heard no more of him since
/ .JVdly.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
Washington at Forty-SeTen.

1t is claimed that this description
of the "Father of his Country" pub
lished i'm London in l779, has not been
printed in this country until this
year:
"Gen. Washington IS now in the
forty-seventh year of his age. He IS
a tail, we'll made man, rather large
boned, and has t0lerable genteel
address; his features are manly and
bold; his eyes of n blush cast, and
very lively; his hair deep brown; his
face very long and marked with the
smallpox; his complexion sunhurnt
and without much color; his cOunte-
nance sensible, compassionate thought
full. There is a remarkable air Of dig
nity about him, with a striking de-
gree of gracefulnesS. He has an eX-
ceIlent understanding, without much
uuicllness; IS strictly just, vigiiant,
and generous; an afiectiOnate hus-
band, n faithful friend, father TO the
deserving soldier, gentleman in his
manners, in temper rather reserved.
In his morals is irreprOachable,and he
was never known to exceed the
bounds of the most rigid temperance
In a word, all his friends and acquain-
tances allow that no man can center
in his own person more perfect alli-
anee Of the virtues Ofa general. Can
dor. sincerely, aflability, and simple
! ity seem 10 be the striking features Ol
his character, till an occasion oilers Oi
disDIaying the most determined bra
very and independence OF spirit
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
1hr ,snonl Hnsier Of California.

4 Dedaeogue in Curiew, who was
"hai up for numerically weiting
the back of q little girl, justified his
action by exclaiming that ''she per
sisted in flinging paper pellets at him
when his back was turned That was
no excuse. The Town Crier once
taught school up in the mountains,
and about every half hour had 70 re.
move his coat and ~crape of the dried
paper wads adhering 10 the nap. He
never permitted a tri1e like this to
unsettie his patience; lie just kept on
wearing that gabeEdineunui II haa h0
nap, aud the Wads would not stick
but when they took 10 dipping them
in mucilage he made e complaint u
the Board of Directors
"Yuug man." said the Chairman
"ef WI don't Ike our ways, Yu'd bet
ter sling yer blanSit- ami GO Pfeu-
tice MuifOrd tort skuie Yer fur NOR n
six months, and he never -ad wuf'i
agiu the wads.'
The Town Crier briefly explained
that Mr.. Mulford might have been
brought up To paper wad- ana didn !
mind them.
st amt no yu-r," SAID another d.
rector, "the children hey got 10 be
B amused"
: The Town Crier hcTe protested thst
I there were many other amu-emPni-
quite as diyerting; but the third
director here arose and remarked
II perfectly agree with tiIe Giiesr
this yuugster better travel CONSIDER
a. paper wails lies at the rute Oi p0pl-
lar edyercasheu; ther a ne-ersary al
Junk nv the skuie -i7tim. Mr.. Cheer
man, 1 move aud second that this vel
sIulemaster BE- shot
The Town Crier dill not remain a.
observe lac result Of the voting
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
Better than Gold.

Good habits are better than gold.
4 wise business mau will give poor
man, having good haIit-, credit r;,th
er than 4 dissipated rich man. The
following illustrates this fact:
Horace Il. Claflin. pruminrnt
member of the Bald-Headed Club, -
rs quaint ami humorous ~ he is keen
witted and rich. They tell thc fol-
lowing good story about him On tie
10th of February. about = O'Clock,
Clatiin was sitting alone in lII~ private.
Office, when u Young man, pai" amt
carewOrn, timidiy knocked ami enter
ed. "Mr. Claniu," said he, II am la
need Of help. have hepn unable 10
meet certain payments, because eer-
tain parties have not dOne n they
agreed by me, and would like Ia baVe
$4,000. [ come 10 ynu because you
were 8 friend To nv i9lhpr, and might
be a friend to me.'' Come in, said
Claflin, come in aud have 81 glass uf
wine" ''NO," Said the young man,
al don't drink" " "Have q eigir them
''NO. ! never smoke ''Well. said
the Joker, II wOnld like b. arcominO-
date you, but don't think can"
every WELL" said the young man,
as he was about 10 leave the room, Il
thought perhaps you might. Good
day, sir" "HOld On,'' said Mr.. Claf-
lin; ''yOu don't drink 9r "NO,n
'rNOr smoke 80 ''NOr gamble, nor
nothing Of the kind ~ $40, sir,
am Superintendent Of the---Sun-
day School ''Well," said Clafin,
with tears I'm his voice and his eyes
too, ''yOu shall have il, and three
times the amount If yOn wish. Your
father let me have $1,000 once, and
ASKED me the same questions. He
trusted me, and will trust you. No
thanks--I owe IL 10 you for your faith
er's trust" 4"
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
yo Dem rrom the roIorea lole.

Tic Cincinnati Commercial pub
fishes a communication from Peter
Fl. Clark, a prominent enlOTed Repub-
lican leader there. THE Commercial
says In an editorial notice that Mr..
Clark l. q close observer, a mau Of
liberal tendencies, 1ud has recently
Travelled i'm the south. Mr.. Clark in
his communications SANS if The Gree
ley party are building any hopes on
the Oft repeated assertion that the
eOlOred people Of the south viii vote
for their candidate, they are surely
doomed to disappointment; that
some c0l0rcd men will be found on
their side j. perhaps true. Some coli
Ored men have been found 10 vote the
straight Democratic ticket, bat the
number Is small and not likely g. iu-
crease. The fact j., that the Repuhli-
can PARTY i the instrument which
has freed and enfranchised him, which
guards him in the exercise of his
rights as 4 freeman, which promises
him future good, - known, ami well
known to the dullrSt black man in
the South, and if nc can get riianrr
to approach the ballot box uuintimi-
datrl. he will vote for the c7indrintC
Of that party. He says in conclusion
10 the Republicans of the Suuth, Hist
every man who II not ia their camp
will b. regarded a. an enemy They
will seek to maintain the party organ
iZBiiOu intact, and will vote solid for
the nominee Of the philadelphia Con-
vention.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
nnlIT YarH. n.

Ii husbands are to ba InisttAru ii
dolly Warden" dre~sr- ~ wa an uE-
fortunate husband ia Fhi!ade!piIlsr
the sooner The. fashion IS Sque-chrti
the better viii 10 BE- Tor tse peace a.
society. Tie husband iu que- ,.on one
night missed from the supper table
his wife Matilda, and inquired OF hi
little boy whittier she had gone und
Just at that moment u u dining-T00m
door swung open ana u 'ady entered
The husband observed wild look III
her eve and also noticed that she was
attired in All ouilandish style, having
on, As he SAYS, a dress with sun1lOwer-,
cabbages and pumpkins worked All
over il, and lot Of snakeS squirmins
around fOr a background
Rising, the man said, Madam,
whom DO you wish tu see 80 and then
said aside, 'POor yhing, shes crazy.
That last remark settled the business
for him, as the wierd female made a
bolt and tightly grasped his Adams
apple and choked him until his face
assumed the color Of 4 tanner Of the
Commune. After she had enjoyed 4
surfeit of choking her husband, she
fiopped into a chair, and with tears
cOursing each other down her cheeks
exclaimed: THAT ! should ever live
to hear my husband say That ! was
craZy.n This amused the husband,
and eleyating himself to his full pro-
portions, he said:
''You can't blame me, madam, for
supposing you an insane woman, ami
now that l know you are really the
mother of these interesting children,
will YOU have the kindness 70 retire to
the sanctity Ot your chamber and peel
yourself OF that piece of furniture
chintZ, o. window curtain, or what
ever it is you call il"
window curtain .chiniI' said tile
spouse, "why is you that t'suut Ofyour
head. That's a Dolly Warden, and
very pretty pattern, too.
Madam, . replied the husband, I'VE
may be ont of our head, but il that Is
Dolly Warden we are most decidedly
out of pocket. Why, IL looks like a
circus dress, and the idea Of woman
ut your time of life
MY time of life -
"Nes, your time Of life. The next
thing, l suppose, you will be practicing
the trapeZe act i'm the back yard.
Why, il is enough to give a man the
deliTium tremens to look at it. Who
ever saw such a pattern? It's flash
wall paper run mad. You look exactly
like some Japanese tea sign. And
now Just bounce out here with that
Feeje battle flag, or you'll scare the
baby to DEATH"
There was an OminOus pause for a
moment, and then the oldest daughter
said:
"Why, you ought to be ashamed of
yourself, father. It's all the styleand
/ am going to have one, too; there
now" ''Yes, and want one all the
girls have got them" Thus spoke
Maria, the second oldest. ANY
more" gasped the husband. "Are
there any more? Hadn't the baby
better have one? I guess I'll get one
myself. How do they make up for
pantalOons Ha! Ha! Ha! de
moniacallyh Let me clutch it. Bring
me a pattern OfmOnkeys scaling lamp
posts. How would a Chinese puzzle
look, or map of Falmouth Park ~
All the rest is q blank. The unhappy
husband has Just been liberated from
an asylum and pronounced cured.
But the only way they managed II
was 10 dress him up in Dolly Warden
marked ont with the ground plan OF
the streets Of Boston.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
ALFREp LAxpoN.
=; Hrrns AaMYNT.
InHH meCAULKY.

. TTORNEYs AT LAW and Patent 30
a 1icltors- once, National EZehangf
bank block bihE'o q u ~.
Nay I, Isz2-tf-
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16

The Colored National Convention
lately held at New Orleans, adopted
the, following, among other rrsoln-
tiOns:
!. We thank God, the friends I-
universal liberty in this and other
lands, tie bravery Of colOrcd -pldier~,
and the loyalty 81 tie coiorcd l'c"I'ir
for our emancipation, our ritiz~nehin,
and our franchiscmeni.
= Owing our political emanciPa-
ton, IN :hi- country, "a republican
IegislstioH, 10 which all "th@r pcrii--
and political shades o. opinion were
originally and bitterly OpP0-ed, we
would h. blind e. our pr0speet- aiui
false t0 0ur hest Interests. I'D Sc itru-
tify ourselves with any other "TslniI-
alton, aisf as all romls nut 0f tie r'-
publican parry lead intp ine Dani"-
cratic camp. wr ple'i,' oar uHwiyrr
ing DEVOTION tp ruDq'ri tb' HpmiuFe
81 the Philadelphia c1uvrHt''iu-
the expression. ''l.I r1rvi- 9'i; .: iii'-
Republican party lo"I iut1 t.'' On -
cratic camp i lnr'i.i.e aud lr'i@.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
[ ManlH lnsMer

All honor 70 the boy who cannot he
laughed out OF doing right. y writer
in the American Messenger says:
Five boys, pupils in 4 boarding
school, We're IN the room. Four Of
them, contrary 70 the express rule-,
engaged in q game uf cards Tire fifth
was not standing and booking on 10
see how the game would 90, hut en-
gagged in some work Of his own. One
OF the players was called ont.
"COme," said the others TO their
companion; SIT u too bad 10 have the
game stop in the middle. Come and
take his place"
Il do not know one carl from an
other"
That makes no difference. We
will teach yen. Come Do not Ier
our sport Je spoiled"
The boy perceived that this was the
decisive moment. Ah, Just such are
the critical points, sometimes the turn
lag point Of life. His resolution WAS
instantly taken. He made no more
excuses, but at once planted himself
square upon principle.
"My father does nOt wish m- 70
play cards, and shall not act contra
ry TO his wishes
This ended the matter. II did mole
II established his position among hi~
companions. Ii compelled their re-
spect, and preserved him from temp
tatiOu for the future.
Such = hoy inspires confidence.
The incident may seem small IN itself
but it gives promise of the future bet-
ter than thousands of gold. Three
sterling qualities are manifested a
conscientious regard for the wishes of
parents, superiority TO the fear Of the
ridicUle Of his companions, and decis-
ion. These qualities form n shield
and buekler IN regard to all tempta-
tions. Happy the boy who ispOssess-
ed Of them. You would expect that
his career would be honorable and
successful.
Years have passed. That boy has
become man. Various and trying
have been the scenes through which
he has been called. Severe have been
the temptations to which he has been
exposed. But he has come forth as
gold. No parent weeps, no friend
bushes for him.
Are you q son, rich i'm youth, rich
in hope, rich in a good conscience ?
-AlrG!rs regard The 'risLes Of yOlT' l1G-
J61fs.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
RESOLUTIONS.

We the liberal Republicans Of the
United states, in national convention
assembled at Cincinnati, proclaim
the following principle - essential 10
ust government
l. We recognize the equality Of al
before the law, and hold that it Is tire
duty Of government in it, dealings
with the people 10 mctc uut equal and
exact Justice to all Of whatever na-
tivity, race, color, ur persuasion, rp-
ligious or political.
>. We pledge ourselves 10 maintain
the Union OF States, ,emancip1ting and
enfranehisement, and oppose amy
rcOpening % tho Questions settled ny
the 18th l4th ana Ij:h amendments
Of the Constitution.
3. We demand immediate amd ab-
sOlute removal of All disabilities iiu-
pO-cd on account of the reielliun,
which wa- finally sulclued seven years
agn, believing that universal amnesty
will result in complete paeiiiration IA
all SECTIONS Of the country.
4. Local self-gOveFnment, with inn
partial suffrage. will guar'i the right
OF all the citizens more securely than
ans centralized p0wer- The public
welfare requires tie supremacy Of tbt
civil over the military authority, aud
the freedom Of person under the pro-
lection Of the halea- eurpU-. We 10
maud for Tie individual the largest
liberty consistent witI the public or
der, for the State eseif-gnyeTHment, aus
: for the nation return tp tn. method
Q OFDeace and constitutional Limitations
Of power.
=. The civil service Of the govern
ment has become q mere instrument
Of partisan tyranny and personal am
hilton. aud an object pf selfish greed
Il i = scandal and reyFpaei. uppa ir.''
Institutions, aud bree'', demor8iiLt
ton dangerous tp tie prosperity "
republican government.
8. We therefore regard tIinrnusl
reform of the civil service - oHr q.
the most pressing ne7.s-s-itic- uf IN
hour; that honesty, rapac;ty. ami Il
deIfty constitute the ouiy valid s.iaint
10 public emplOymeut: that the 0iIie,.
Of the government eeaseto h,s a matt.
of arbitrary fJvOritism and patronage
and that public stations become agli
post of honor. To this end Il J. ia
perativeiy required that no Prc,idcr
; shall be q candidate for reelection.
:. We demand = system Of Fetlers
: taxation which shall not necessaril
, interfere with the industry Of the pee
= pie, and shall provide sufficient mean
10 pay the expenses Of the govern
ment, economically administers
pensions, and the interest on the pu'
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
Address to the People Of the United
States.

The administration now in power
has rendered itself guilty Of wantOn
disregard Of the laws Of the land in the
exercise of powers not granted by the
Constitutions. It has acted aS II the
laws had binding force only for those
who are governed, and not for those
who govern. Ii has thus struck a
blow at the fundamental principle OF
constitutional government and the
liberties of the citizen.
The President Of the United States
has openly used the powers aud np-
pOrtunities of his high Office for The
promotion of personal ends. He has
kent notOri0usly corrupt and unworthy
men in places Of power and response
biliiY, 10 the detrimeut of the public
interest.
He has used the public service OF the
government a. machinery Of parti-
san and personal influence, and inter-
fcred, with tyrannieai arrogance, in
the political affairs Of States and mu-
inequalities.
He has rewarded, with influential
and lucrative offices, men who had
aequired!his favor by valuable presents
thus stimulating the generalization
Of our political life by his conspicuous
example.
He has shown himself depl0rsbly
unequal to the tasks imposed upon
him byth necessities OF the country,
and cUlpably careless Of the response
biliiies ~ his high Office.
The partisans Of thC administration,
assuming 10 be the Republican party
and controlling its organization, have
attempted 10 Justify such wrongs and
DaIliaLe such abuses, "a the end of
maintaining partisan aseendency.
They stool in the way OF necessary
investigations and indispensable re-
forms, pretending that no serious
fault cOuld he fOnud with the present
administration of public affairs, thus
seeking to blind the eyes of the people.
They have kept alive the passions
and resenimentS uf the late civil war,
TO use them for their own advantage.
They have resOrtr,l To arbitrary meas
ures in direct conflict with the organic
law, insteHd of appealing To the better
instincts and latruPpatrIDti-n Of the
Southern people 10y restoring 10 them
those rights, the enjoyment uf which
is indispensable for a successful adj
ministratinu of their local affairs and
would tend 10 restore patriotic ma
tiOnaI feeling They have degraded
( themselves and the name of their
, party, one justly entitled 10 the conf
/ dence ofths- nation, 10y iI-e syeophau-
ry to the dispenser Of executive pow
er and patronage unworthy Of RepiIi-
( lican freemen. They have sought To
silence the voice of just criticism, tO
stine the moral sense Of the people,
and to subjugate public opinion by
/ tyranDical party diseiplinei they nre
striving tu maintain themselves in
authority FOR selfish ends 10y au un-
/ scrupulOus use Of power which right
fully belongs to tile people, and should
he employed only in the service Of the
/ country
Believing that no organization thus
let and controlled can longer be o!
service to the best interests OF republic,
we have resolved to make an indepen-
dent appeal 10 the sober judgment
conscience, and patriotism Of tho
Am rican people
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16

J. F. MARQUAEDr, sole .Agent,Timn, 0
July 2 1s7l.-Iv.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16

They are organizing 4 colony in
Boston which Is to be recommended
as a means of getting rid Of virtuOus
and correct young men. Excellent
land to the extent OF about twelve
townships, has been secured in Min
nesota, and is to be sold to the colo
nlsts at moderate prices, No one IS
admitted 10 membership in the colo
ny except young men Of temperate
habits and good moral character, who
will pledge themselves not to sell or
countenance the sale of liquor. This
is a good thing for the Minnesota col
ony but how about Boston? Can she
afford to send off this class Of young
mens
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16

y Iissipsted Benedic, stayed suf
until a very late hour the other night
He went home and slept in el''ir
with oiie f1gt ia a pan u bisesiit 'h'gsll
hi9 Wtf. lad -ei 10 raise. On waNiii1
up AMI seeing the state Of aiiar,' ne
sauuie'l T. hi- wife: '5alry J.'',e,
there "a rs,t im the batter aiia ~ ss
did not bUd Out his niistaske iii' NJ
tried 70 t.iso it out with iorS.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16
4 VIEW aIOHNNr sCHxoKER.,


The Chicago R5st Is one OF the most
spicy sheets in the country. The fol-
lowing parody on the famous old
Dutch song, Johnny Schmoker," IS
the latest .'hit" from that sonrce.--
Every ore who has heard the song
iand who has Rut?. Will appreciate
Il:
6i-ant'> smoker, Grant < u smoker,
lie soid uu~kets. be sold earbInsS.
Howl. howl. howl, dat il lay sScnurz ah.
Grants % ~uIoScr. t.ran1' q ~tuUE-r.
Went rs-furIu th- civil service.
1r"wl. -rowI. -rowl. dst i ms Iruu-
LuI.
Howl. howi. how D. Dat Is my SeEurz. sh.
With NV srowl, sroy-i, gTpSI, an,l my howl.
howl, howl, rtr-
Grants a smoker. Grants a smoker,
And his wife has got relations
Bray, hray. bray, Jiat Is my 1iPlon
GrowI. srnwi. @r5wL dat is my Trubt-
Buli,
Howl, howl, howl, dat j. NV Schurz. ali.
With my bray, Bray bray, and my ;,rowi,
ssro'gl. srOwl, etc.
Grants smoker, Grants smoker.
Wouldn't Turn out bad Tom Murphy,
YeIp, yclp, yelp. dat IS ny FentOn-
Esly, bray, bray, dat is my Upton,
GrNwi, srowl. growi. dat * my rrum-
bull;
Howl, howl, howl. dat Is Iny Seharz, ahi
6 IA
bray, etc.
Grants a smoker, ,iraut's a smoker,
DON'T believe tine one term humbus.
Write. write, write, dat IS my Greeley:
Yrlp, yclp, yelp, lat Is my Fenton.
Bray, bray. bray, dat is my Upton;
o'rnwl srovl. .rOwl, dst is my rrum-
buu;
Howl, howl. howl. dat 9, my Schur1, ah /!
With my write, write. write. and my ycIp,
yelp, yrlP, etc.
Grants sr-oSer, Grants sranber.
ignored neon san Domingo.
speech, speech, speech, dat T. my sum
u-r.
Write. write. write, dat i my Creelry:
Nelp. yclp. yelp. dat is my Fenton.
bray hiay. bray, dat Is my Upton
t'snwI. srowi, arowl, dat is my Trum-
bull;
Howl, howl, howl, dat is my Sshurl, an.
Win my speech. speech, speech. and my
write. write, write. ctr
Grants smoker, Grants smoker,
Would not make me Port Collector.
Lie, lie. lie, dat is my Dana;
Speech, speech, speech dRt is my sum-
ner
Write, write, write. dat Is uif Greeley;
Yclp. yclp, yelp, dat Is my Fenton;
Bray, bray bray, dat is my Upton;
GrOwl, grOwl, gr0wI, lat i my Trumbull;
Howl, howl, howl, dat Is my SchUrz, an
With my Iic. iic, lie, and my speech, speech,
sperrh, and my write, write, write, and
my yeIP, yelp, yelp, and nv bray, bray,
bray. and nv grOwl, srowI. srnwl, anil
lly howl, howl, howl,
DAT Is my platform
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-05-16

Mr.. Greeley consid ers the present
month the best time for grating
baked-bean trees and pruning celery
vines. The pork crop should he trans
planted from the hot-beds at soon rs
the Goth, or the ears will hot fill ont
well and the curculiO will devour the
fruit as fast as IL falls from the limbs.
Lettuce should be planted about four
seeds i'm a hill, on ground plOwed Mt
Ieastsix feet deep with a sub-sOil plOw,
and D0les should he set for the vines
to run up on. The heads should not
be shaken from the branches, hut
picked by hand. Suckers should be
pinched of beet bushes and the dried
apple crop sown in drills with sauer-
kraut planted between the rows.