The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-04-18
A BOON iGfNI'S FATE.


They tound two nai.-kcgs full of minced
woman down ut the pot the other day.
They though it wa, chopped meat for m.nce
pies at first, but when they found some
hair-plns and garter mix ed up in it, the
truth sort Of dawnel on them And when
they tishel out a tongue that wouldn't keep
still, YOU understood, they caught the idea
with great facility.
can tell you all about the thing, be-
cyUse, YOU see, did the mrcing up of the
lady myself. l got her into a mincing
sort Of way that she'll not get out Of as
long as she lives. You can be the max
imum of safety on that point.
This is the way the thiog happened
was picking my teeth on the Fifth
avenue hotel steps, after eating a twenty
cent dinner over Third avenue, as is my
custom of an afternoon.
Then came by IA rakish craft She scud-
ded along under closely reefed hustle and
tolerable bare poles. The wind was a nor
norwcster, and it struck her canvas. She
wore the new style of metal g;rters, with
gilt clasps.
! will take my oath, you observe of that
She signalled me with her off eye, and l
bore down upon her. l had thrown over
board about seven words, when she inter
rupted me by yanking big book out of
her hustle, or somewhere. Here is some
thing she warbled, "that ia like to
show you.
cit is called 'The history of Christian
ity in the Feji Islands, by the Rev. Peter
Poridge. 1t is illustrated by ten thousand
pictures, just engraved by the old masters,
and bound with calfskin. 1t is the great
est work ever written. You can't afford to
be without it. Children cry for it, The
Price is only seventeen dollars. l will put
your name down, and -
False woman." | shriekel, "away,
You have deceived poor, weak trusting
man. You are a book agent
Beware, woman although unmarried, l
will defend myself to the death"
Then l fieI.
But the creature, You comprehend was
/ like the itch, or bad conscience or a wash
erwomans bill-not to be 50 easily got rid
Of. She logged my footsteps like divorce
! detective. She lowered over me like an
/ Averaging spirit. She laid for me when l
went to my meals, interviewed me- at my
Office, and bored me at every point.
| Life seemed a bIrlen, AMI | would have
/ hydrate-o elaborated myself only knew
/ that misguided woman would have follow
ed me into eternity, and have commenced
TO canvass the end of eternal warmth for
| her blasted book. knew some good fe,-
/ you understand, to precipitate, a horrible
fate, upon them.
l disguised myself a. hackman, as an
organ grinder, as a minister-pnt myself
in the most Illuminating positions, you OBJ
serve-but it wasn't any use. Be sure that
/ female wickedness found me out At last
. Htdh itEeu IDNH ~ the SaI sch waves,
and was happy for a time. Days passed
! by-at fifteen or twenty dollars eaeh-and
| was beginning to forget the book agent
One evening wandered on the sanded
beach in the mellow moonlight. supposed
that the correct Long Branch thing to
do. Il met a lovely creature in white tulle
or cotton sheething, or something I took
her for a moonheam at first, You compre-
bend, and my heart bumped with admira-
ton. hirted with the ethereal heifer, and
we sat on a damp rock very close together
My arm got around her waist, and We were
having a nice time, comfortable time.
You possibly know how it is yourself
/" Fair stranger" l nurmured, "dost
love thus TO squat on the primeval rock
and commune with nature
Shs said she did