The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-06-28
Humorous.

Railroad men are looking with as.
tonishment at trunk marked "1-
worth, Kansas.
The Iowa farmer who strapped his
shot gun to his plough to be ready for
game will not be about again for some
months.
A certain corn cultivator hangs up
one of his stockings in the field. When
there is plenty of air stirring the crows
generally perish outside the fence.
A blind man at Fort Wayne, Ind,
was recently married to blind woman
in the presence of three other blind
persons. The question is, were there
any witnesses?
For real business ingenuity commend
us to California. The proprietor of a
San Jose pleasure garden draws crowds
by Offering prize to the person with
the longest nose.
A WARMING TO SMoKERs.-It has
been definitely ascertained by scientific
men that poison enough is taken into
the system by an habitual smoker TO
cause death in 157 years.
"How much did he leave?" inquired
a gentleman of a wag on learning the
death of wealthy citizen. "Every.
thing, responded the wag she didn't
take dollar with him.
They are planting cork trees in South.
ern California. Unless the buds are
killed by frost in the spring, the trees
will average about ten bushels of corks
apiece.
A woman in Kansas City made fire
in the stove, put her bread in the oven,
and then made halfhour visit to Il
neighbor. When she returned the
bread was burned. Later-So was
the house.
A Bostonian has been fined $50 for
not communicating a case of small
pox to the proper authorities" If We
| were the proper authorities, we should
prefer his keeping it to himself.
A gentleman of Springfield inquired
any practice. "Oh, yes," was the re-
ply. 81 assisted in laying out one OF
his patients, the other day"
1t is so pleasant to know that Agassiz
has found few species of gasteropod5,
fourteen kinds of shinoderus, including
an euryale, fifty specimens of ophiuraus,
and to crown the whole, large helias
ter.
| A Boston man recovered five cents
| for damages for the loss of his wife in
railway accident. He sued under the
law which enables husband to recover
damages in proportion to the usefulness
and capacity of the wife.
A man in Westfeld, Mass, thought
to purify his we'll by generously throw.
ing in half bushel of lime. AS there
was but three feet of water In the
L xuoII ha hoe hoI xpbitaUooh ahnon ant
| plenty.
| The Spencer Grays, a negro military
company in New York, have offered To
make Tennie Claflin their captain. And
yet, they tell us that the negro has more
respect for himself now than he had be
fore the war = -COurier-JOuRat
An Irishman went to Bangor and
bought horse for two dollars and half
When no had dragged him home, n
neighbor said "Arrah now, Pat why
didn't you give another half dollar and
| get good one ?"
| A New England advertiser wants "a
woman who fears the Lord and weighs
200 pounds" and the editor of the sheet
in which the advertisement appears re.
marks that "the experience of most
men Is that woman who weighs 200
lpounds, rarely iears the Lord or any
body else." ..v
A Scotch law lord was seated one day
on the hillside of BOnally with q Scotch
shepherd, and observing the sheep re-
posing in what he thought tho coldest
lsituation, he observed to him: "John,
liz / were sheep ] would lie on the
other side OF the hill.' The shepherd
answered; SAY, my lord, but If ye
had been q sheep ye wad have had mair
sense"