Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-11-08
Honesty and Policy.

If honesty be the best policy-if
it really does pay better than dis
honesty, and experience proves it
why are we such scurvy set of
fellows in this world, everybody
trying to cheat everybody else? If
honesty be the best policy, why did
the early milkman stop SO long at
the pump round the corner? Why
does the grocer sand the sugar?
Why does the shoemaker half-sole
my shoes with pasteboard? Why
does the merchant nip off thumb
Nails breadth at each end of my
yard? Why don't the tailor send
home the pieces? Why does the
farmer put the best potatoes on the
top Of the barrel? Why do indus
trious money-getters sweat and clip
coins? Why is the bottom of the
grain measure creased, as in the
Arabian story? Why is the pure
Madeira half poor brandy? Why
did the newsboy sell me last weeks
Gazette for this mornings Journal?
Why does the Hon. Timothy Pop
cock fervently demand reform when
he means place in the custom
house? Or why does Tom Idle lie
in bed, and lounge and swear and
gamble, if it is so plain as to be an
axiom that those courses will carry
him to Tyburn?
| sit upon a bench in the Park
and watch the beautiful carriages
rolling by. There goes noble
chariot with superb horses, and
coachman and tootmen in the most
gorgeous and plushiest of liverics.
The gentleman who sits in it erect
and severe as one of the cardinal
virtues, escaped the State Prison
because of some technical defect in
the Indictment, some outlawry Of
time, or some bribe to 4 juror. The
difference between this prosperous
gentleman and the pickpocket who
was committed for three months,
yesterday, is that the occupant of
the noble chariot is a more accom-
plished and successful swindler. l
can fancy him saying, with con-
tempt, to the miserable pickpocket
who was caught in the act: "You
disgrace the profession, SIR" And
there, dragging himself along in
the dust Of the chariot wheels, is
worn, weary, anxious mortal, who
never consciously wronged any one,
and whom an account of his that
will not balance, though it be but a
cents difference, sorely troubles
and tries. He is as honest, indus
trious, steady, intelligent, faithful
as the sun; and there he goes trudg-
ing along in the dust behind pros
porous knayery. Honesty is the
best policy, is it? quoth my cousin
Jedediah; then tell me whv those
men don't change places?
Let my cousin consider. When
he finds sand in his sugar, does he
frequent the grocer who sold it to
him? When the water constantly
soaks through his new soles, does
he send the next pair Of shoes to
that cobbler? And if we knew the
man who sold pure coffee instead of
chicory, should we not all buy of
him? Or does the Hon. Popcock's
eloquencc affect any human being?
My cousin Jededlah is a poet
There is certain volume which
you have probably never seen, and
about which the papers and maya
zines are strangely silent, but of
which he has his own opinion.
Now if the author had found in
some ancient and forgotten maga-
zine poem which no human being
could be supposed to know, and
which he thought good enough for
that volume, and he had conveyed it
into his pages unacknowledged,-
would he not have staked his happi-
ness and his fame upon chance?
Some day some other curious eye
would light upon it, and cousin Jed
ediah would be ruined. Honesty
gives him self-respect and peace of
mind. Is it not the best policy?
| see that cardinal virtue in his
noble chariot, and acknowledge that
though a swindler he has prosper
ed. / also think of Dives and Laz-
arus Of old. But even Jedediah
must own that he lis only an excep-
ton. 1t does not follow that hon
esty is not the best policy because
swindling is sometimes successful.
If, indeed, the policy or the profit
of honesty is what makes you hon
est, You are not very admirable
charater. But the proverb does not
exhort; it states only. You may
refine upon it indefinitely, rs Jede-
diah does. You may even say in
the same words of the beatitudes
that they offer rewards for virtue.
Is not virtue it's own reward? Very