davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22
711I,5l,.,-. T1,e grorr.-ouat Font Of type.


TIM sitting by my desk, George,
Before me on the floor
There lies WOIn-0ut font OF type,
TIlll twenty Thousand score;
And many months have passed, George,
asRee they were bright and new,
Ana many are tile tales they've told
The false, the strange, the true.
what tales Of horror they have told,
Of tempest and of wreck;
Of murder in the midnight hour,
of war full many a "speck!"
of abius that lost away at sea
Went down before the blast,
OF stified cries of agony
AS lMe's last moments passed.
of earthquakes and of suicides,
OF hank defaulters, broken banks,
And banking systems rotten.
of boilers bursting, steamboats, SnaSgeu,
OF riots, dtIels fought:
OF robbers with their prey escaped,
Of thieves, their booty caught
OF food, and fire, and accident,
Those WoPn-uut types have told,
And how the pestilence has swept
The youthful and the old;
Of marriages, of births and deaths,
OF things to please or vex us;
of one mans jumping overheard,
Another gone 10 Texas.
They've told us how sweet Summer days
2 Have faded from our view,
How Autu1nn's chilling winds haye swept
The eaf-crowned forest through;
How Winters snow hath come and gone
Dark reign of storm and strife
Aud Riling Spring hath warmed
gpalc nowefs back to life.
ir,t pretend to mention half ..
MY irky friends have told
Since shining, bright and beautiful
They issued from the mould
How unto some they joy have brought,
To others grief and tears,
Yet faithful the record kept
OF fast Peceding years.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

THE REASON WHY.--Infdels should
never talk of giving up Christianity till
they can propose something superior.
Lord Chesterfeld's answer, therefore,
to an infdel lady was very just. When
at Brussels he was invited by Voltaire
to sup with him and Madam C.
The conversation happened to turn
upon the affairs of England. / think,
my lord . said Madam C, that
tie Parliament of England consists of
five or six hundred of the best informed
and sensible men in the kingdom. y
Z" True, Madam, they are generally sup
posed to be so.n What, then, my
lord, can be the reason they tolerate SO
great an absuFdity as the Christian re
1igion?n II suppose, madam" !" replied
his lordship, it is because they have
not been able to establish anything in
it's stead. When they can, I do MOI
doubt but that i'm their wisdom they
will readily adOpt it,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Sw1FT's HUMoR.-Dean Swift was
walking in the Phoenix road, Dublin,
when a thunder shower came on, and
he took shelter under a tree, where a
party was sheltering also-two young
women and two young men. One OF
the young girls looked very sad, till, as
inquired the cause, and learned that It
was their wedding day: they were on
their way to the church, and now her
white clothes were wet and she couldn't
go..s" Never mind I'll marry you, y said
the dean and he took out his prayer
book, and there and then married them,
their witnesses being present and to
make the thing complete, he tore a leaf
from his poeketbooky and with his pen
Gil wrote and signed a certificate, which
he handed to the.bride. lit was as follows
Under tree in stormy weather,
married this man and woman together
Let none but him who rules the thunder
Sever this man and woman asaunder.
JONATHAN SWIFT,
Dean of st. PatFick's.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22
The custom of Treating.

II / could persuade all the young
people Of Elmira never to treat each
other, nor be treated, / think one half
of the danger from our strong drink
would be gone. If can not get you to
sign the total abstinence pledge, binding
until you are 85, I would be glad to
have You promise three things: First,
never to drink on the sly, alone; second,
never to drink socially, treating or being
treated; third, when yOn drink, do it
openly, and in the presence OF some
man or woman whom you respect.
Now, boys, If yOn wish to be generous
and treat each other, why not select some
other shop beside the liquor shop? Sup
pose, as You go by the Postoffice, YOU
say. " Come, boys, come III and take
some stamps" These stamps will do
yoIlr friends real good, and will cost
yon no more than drinks all round. Or
go by the tailor's store and say, Boys,
come i'm and take. box of collars"
Walk ND to the counter, free and gene
rolts. and say, What style will you
llaye?n why not treat to collars as well
ms treat to drinks? !? Or go by a confee-
TONER'S and propose to chocolate drops
all round. Or say, Boys, take a news
paper" Or say, q I'll stand a jack knife
all round Y
How does it happen that we have
fallen into habit almost compulsory,
of social drinking2 You drink many a
time when asked to, when really you dc
not Wantto. When q man has, treated You
you feel mean and indebted, and keep a
sort of account current In your mind
and treat him. And so in the use OF
just that agent, which as the very bestis
q dangerous one, yon join hand IN hand
TO shelp each other to ruin instead OF
hand in hand to help each other to tenn
perance. Thomas K. Beecher.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

A WEIGHTY REBUKE.-A clergyman
once preached very long sermon from
the text:
"Thou art weighed in the balance,
and found wantingn
After the congregation had listened
about an hour, some began to grow
weary and went out, others soon fol-
lowed, greatly to the annoyance of the
minister. Whereupon he stopped in his
sermon and said =
"That is right, gentlemen, as fast, as
you are weighed pass out"
No one else passed out.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

A famous English Judge had a habit
of begging pardon on every occasion.
At the close Of the assize, as he was
about to leave the bench, the officer of
the court reminded him that he had not
passed sentence of death Oh one of the
criminals, as he had intended" Dear
pardon. Bring him ill.,"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

A lady teacher, questioning little boys
about the graduation in the scale of
being, asked: "What comes next to
man?" And here little shaver, who
was evidently snarting under defeat
in the previous question, Immediately
distanced all competitors, by promptly
shouting: His underslirt, ma'am."
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

A."poor exile of Erin" hungry and
cold, entered a barbersh6p, ate, with
the brush, a cup Of lather, dug out the
sOap-ball at the bottom of the cup-ate
that-and sat down to warm his feet
Then an astOunded observer mustered
his scattered wits and asked, "HOW did
you like yONr lunch?" Says Pat, "The
custhard wasillegant; but, by me shOul |,
I b'lave. the egg was little too long in
the Wathpr.n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

THE FASHIONS Grandpa, where do
the people get their fashions frOm?"
From New York.
We'll, where ST,,he do the New York people
From England
"Ahb,! and where do the English get
"FrOm France .
But where do the French get them
from 2"
"Why, right from the devil-now
stop your nOise.n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

The new Masonic Temple in New
York has received a portion of one of
the stones which formed part of the
veritable foundation Of King SOlomon's
temple. Tt is two feet six inches long
and one foot three inches wide. It
will be placedsin the new temple within
the arch of the main doorway and
will form the pedestal ON which the
coat of arms of the. Grand Lodge will
rest,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

81 hcqueath" said an Irishman in his
will, " to my beloved wife all my property
without reserve, and to my eldest son.
Patrick, One-ha4f Of the remainder, and
to Dennis, my youngest, the rest. If
anything is left, it may go to Terrence
MC('aTtVn
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

A certain burly curate of Dublin
parish-a very muscular Christian he
was-was stopped by fOOtpads on the
Bathmines road. A violent struggle en-
sued, and but for the chance appearance
of policeman, might have had Il disas-
tr0us termination. The guardian of the
law, on being asked what he had seen of
the scuffle, declared that he knew very
little of the event. Indeed, your wOr
ship" said he, only came up in time to
save the two men from his reverence" :"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

CAUTIoN.-Mississinewa Lodge, No. 9G
Marion, Grant county, Indiana, would
caution the Lodges against any credit
being given to P. D. Skinner, who holds
a card granted by said Lodge, July
goth, 1871. Said card has been annulled,
and charges are pending against him for
defrauding brothers and others, and for
absconding. He is said to be well cal
cutated to deceive the order. He is about
fifty-five years old, heavy set, five feet
eight inches high, and bald headed.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

"YOu are very. handsome said a
gentleman to his lady-lOve. " Pooh !!
pooh" said she, $50 You would say if
you did not think So" And so you
would think" he answered, eff l did
not say sO,n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

The other day an excited individual
accosted ii street gamin with the Ques-
ton, Say, bub, which is the quickest
way for me to get to the railroad q"
Run =" was the response.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

MY lord said the foreman of an
Irish jury, when giving in the verdict,
" We find the man who stole the horse
not guilty"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Bridget, told You to have my hot
water the first thing in the morning"
"Shure, Sir" replied Bridget, "Vlidn't
bring it up and lave it at the dure last
night, so as to have it in time?n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Since ladies have taken tOusing news
paper for bustles, publishers complain
that their subscribers are more in az
rears than ever.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Am not little pale? inquired
lady, who was short and cOrpQlent, of a
bachelor. "YOu look more like a big
tub" was the blunt reply.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22
The Humorists' Column.
y little nonsense now and then,
Is reliShGd by the wisest men.

A lady once entered a stage coach
with so much powder on her face that
she blew up the. driver.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

PREACHING TO JURoEs-A NICE LIE
GAL POINT-EFFECT OF A PARsON's
IMPERTNRNCE.-A remarkable legal
point has been raised in the case of
MARROW, the jamestown (N. Y. } murder
er, who was to have been hanged few
weeks ago, but obtained stay of pro-
ceedings, granted by Judge Barker, of
the Supreme Court. It appears that a
Sunday interviewed during the trial and
after the evidence was closed ByOr1er
of the Court the jury were kept together
in the custody of officers, who permitted
them to attend the Baptist Church in
Maysville. This afforded an Opportu-
nifty not to he. e.neglectedb by the clergyman
who officiated on that occasion. and he
proceeded to preach sermon having a
practical application to the case which
the jury had under consideration, taking
for his text the words Release unto
me Barabbas now BaTabbas was a
T0bber.b During his discourse the min
lister said Some in this house NAV
think T ann pleading for mercy forthe4oan
now being tried for his life In this vii
lage. Such is not the case, for I believe
the mans hands are reeking with blood,
also, his Wifess and mothers peekfno
with blood. have read and carefully
examined the evidence, and from that
have ee7ne to this c0ncIusion.n MaTlOW's
counsel very naturally assumes that il
was net fair to his client that the. iIIry
s1lDuld have been preached to In such /
strain, and he has obtained the stay o1
proceedings on that ground.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

The people of M y0nling, Penn, don't
know whether to eaIl their female Judge
q Justices of the peace OF q justice Of the
peaeesS.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Paris eorrespo pondent says !" By an
error In type, or a freak of the devil
leading Journal q, few days ago an
peared with the transposed heading
over the marriage column, Restocking
Of Oyster Beds.n
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

There are 10000 Knights Templar in
United States.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Let the youth who stands with class
OF liquor ii his hand consider which he
had better throw aWay-the liquor on
himaef.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

The doctrine Of equality, which has
produced so many high and notable
qualities In American character, has also
very unfortunately developed spirit of
imitation, which is not only ridiculous
but very often eulpable. The servant
maid understanding that she is as her
mistress, only not as rich, determines to
dress as well In appearance If not IN re-
ality. H her mistress has a camel's hair
shawl, Bridget spends a years. savings
ON an imitation made at Paisley. lie
her mistress wears ornaments of the
pale, rare color, Bridget makes
4 grand display with sealing wax Of the
same hue. I'LL the mistress wears alia-
InOnds, Bridget decOrates hersel9 with
bri1liants from AlaslSs or genuine paste.
Massive gold brooches and bracelets
were ait one time d sore point with the la
dies of the basement; because nothing
else would look ike the real article.
But here science has come to the aid Of
the afflicted, and has invented an alumni
mum which has all the appearance Of is
caITat gold. Bridget lis, therefore, en-.
abled to shine on Sundays and holidays
like q queen Of Sheba.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

There have been so many arguments
about the length Of ballet girls dresses,
the Lord Chaimbe thinks it is time
they should be cut short.--JudE.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Here we aren is the Iaeonie saluta-
tory Of new Missouri paper,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22


SUCCESSFUL EDITORs.-An English
writer saYs: IA good editor, Oh CONE
petent newspaper conductor, is like o.
general or poet. born but not made.
Exercise and experience give facility,
hut the anal itieafion III innate, OF III Id
never manifested. On the London daily
papers al the great list tOrians, nOyelists,
poets, writers of travels, and essayigts
lave been tried and nearly every one
las falieu calls ssfid the editor OF
the London Times find any number of
men Of genius to write for me, but very
seldom one man OF common sense
Nearly ala SUI ceesSfnl editors are of this
deaelall lltion. A good editor seldom writes
much for bis paper he reads, judges,
selects alters and combines, and to do
oil this well he Inns but Little time for
composition, n write for h paper ID
one tliilas to edit q paper Is another.
1naehisle has recently been perfected
III london with which a writer, using Il
pen lEa tlle Nsassli can bit the same
time 5I0etsice q nglcate 81 small Us To
be invisible TO the naked eye, yetso dis
nlact that 4 IAleT scope vii reveal egery
line ands salafs A most nsefn apr licat tion
of the apparatus viii be for tile preven-
tl0n Of fos gerry, as private marks can lie
made on notes and securities, leqflIe
under microscopic power, but which
no tnlifafor could see oil even suspect the
presence of. The inventor, j Mr.. Peters,
states that the entire contents of the
hIlsle can with the help of this machine
be written twenty two times in the
space os 4 square inch.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

NEWsPAPERSIN IN THE sOUTHs--A South
er1l paper saws: One Of the great evils
of Southern journalism is, that the South
has ut least twice as many papers as she
will support. She could support the
number she now has, but she does not,
and, Judging the future by the past, she
will not. There are several reasons for
this. The South has never been educated
to support newspapers. This lack of the
proper appreciation of the power and
value of Journalism is one of the curses
entailed upon the country by her old
slavery system and slavery civiliza-
tiOn. Under that system and civilization,
the masses, in q great measure, took
their opinions of public affairs, and cast
their votes, according to the opinions
andWishes, and, too often, the dictation
of the wealthy planters, and the poll
ticians their interests, wllims, on. preju-
dices led them to supports People thus
led had no particular nse for news
papers. And then, the South not being
q free-sch0ol country, there was not
sufficient education and taste for itera-
tllre and culture to cause newspapers to
ba sought after. The same classes,
equally aB poor, and haYilg to work
harder TO make q living in the North
and in Europe, read newspapers eagerly,
andhighly valued them, because popular
education has disseminated d taste for
reading and q thirst for knowledge
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

Gratz Brown is aged A.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1872-06-22

ScANDALoUs.--Did you ever see a
woman throw d stone at a hen Z tits one
Of the most ludicrOus scenes in every
day life. We recently observed the pro-
cess. The predatory fowl had invaded
the precinct of the flower bed and was
irlaustriously pecking and scratching for
the nutritious seed or the early worm,
blissfully unconscious Of impending
danger. The lady now appears upon
the scene with a broom. This she drops
and picks up rocky fragment OF the
Sill1Tian age, and then makes her first
1nistake-fhe all do it--of seizing
the pfoieetile with. the wrong hand.
Then with malice af0reth0ught, she
makes the further blunder Of swinging
her arms perpe dicularly instead of ho-
rizontally; there glDoIl the stone flies into
the air, describing an irregular elipfical
curve, aud strikes the surface OF the
earth us Tar from the hen as the throWer
stood ut the time, IN course due vest
from the same, the hen then bearing by
the compass 1iolta-nor rtheast by half
east. At the second attempt the stone
marrow ~ missed the head Of the throWer
herself who seeing that any further at-
tempt would be suicidal, did what she
might hare done ct first, started after
the hen with It'll old familiar weapon.
The moral of which is: stick to tho
broonnstIlck roY. Herald.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15
GENERAL NArURE-No. 1872

An act for the relief of Sarah s. Trap,
executrix of William Trap, deceased.
Be il enacted by the Senate and House of
Representatives of the United States Of
America In Congress assembled, That the
letters patent granted to William Irapp,
citizen of the United States, dated the first
day of October, eighteen hundred and forty
FIVE. surrendered and reissued on the tenth
day of March, eighteen hundred and forty
nine, and extended by the Commissioner of
Patents for seven years from the first day
of October, eighteen hundred and fifty nine,
and again surrendered and reissued in two
several divisions or patents numbered,
respectively, nineteen hundred and forty
six and nineteen hundred and fOrty-seven,
for new and useful improvements in barrel
machinery, be and the same is and are
hereby renewed, revived and extended for
the term of seven years from and after the
passage of this act; and the Commissioner
of Patents is hereby directed, upon the pre-
sentation of said patents or reissues, num-
bered, respectively, nineteen hundred and
forty-six and nineteen hundred and forty
seven, or certified copies thereof, by making
certificate upon such patent or reissue or
certified copy thereof, OF such extension,
(the lawful fees being first paid therefOr), in
the name of Sarah S. Trap, executrix of
said William Trap: and the Commissioner
of Patents is hereby directed to cause the
same to be entered of record IN the Patent
Office; and the said patents so renewed, re-
vived and extended shall have the same eff
feet in law as if originally granted for terms
extending to the end Of the term to which
they are extended by this act; provided,
however, that such renewal or extended
patents, respectively, shall be open to legal
inquiry and decision in the same manner as
if issued under the general law regulating
the granting of patents; and provided fur
Their, that no person, firm or corporation
shall be liable for any damage or royalty
for having made, vended or used said i'm
provements in said patents specified prior
TO the passage of this act; and any such
person, firm or corporation having made or
purchased and used said Improvement since
the expiration of the said patents shall be
entitled to use the same without liability
during the term Of said extension.
Approved june 10, 1872
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15
OFFICIAL.

Va~s of che United states Passed at the
second session of the FOrty-First
Congress.
IGENEEAL NArURE-No. 1911
an act to amend the fifth section of an act
entitled SAN act making appropriations
for the legislative, executive and judicial
expenses Of the government for the year
ending June thirtieth, eighteen hundred
and seyenty-three, and for other pur-
poses"
Be it enacted by the Senate and House
of Representatives Of the United States
of America in Congress assembled That
the fifth section of the act approved May
eighth, eighteen hundred and seventy-two,
making appropriations for the legislative,
executive and judicial expenses of the gov
eminent for the year ending June thirtieth,
eighteen hundred and seventy three, shall
not be held to apply to materials, stores or
supplies sold to officers and soldiers OF the
army or 10 exploring or surveying eXpedl,
lions authorized by law, and that said
section shall not be held to repeal such part
of paragraph 1882, Revised Army Regula'
tons of eighteen hundred and sixty three,
az provides that expenses of sales OF mill
tarT stores orsupplies regularly condemned
will be paid from their proceeds.
ADproyed June s, 1872.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15
TGENpRAL NATURE-No. 1881

An act making appropriations for sundry
civil expenses of the government for the
fiscal year ending june thirtieth, eight
cen hundred and seYenty-three, and for
other purposes.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of
Representatives of the United States of
America in Congress assembled, That the
following sums be-, and the same are here
expressed, for the fiscal year ending June
thirtieth, eighteen hundred and seventy
three, viz:
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15
MISCELLANEOUS,

For continuing the collection Of statistics
OF mines and mining, to be laid before Con-
gress, to be expended under the direction
Of the Secretary of the Treasury, fifteen
thousand dollars.
For the continuation of the geological sur
by Professor i. VI Hayden, under the d.
Tieetion Of the Secretary Of the Interior, dur
ing the fiscal year ending June thirtieth
eighteen hundred and seyenty-three,
seyeniy-iive thousand dollars.
For completing the survey of the Colo
RADIO of the West and its tributaries BY Pro
lessor u w. Powell, undeg the direction of
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15

ficient to make bis salary. from October
first, eighteen hundred and sixty-eight, to
June first, eighteen hundred and sixty nine
that of fourth-class clerk in the Fifth
Auditors Office, one hundred and fifty dol
lars, or SO much thereof as may be neces-
sary.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-10-15
PATENT OFFICE

:, 70 provide for the plates of an Official
Gazette Of the Patent Office abstracts Of
the drawings Of patents issued, forty thou
sand dollars, to be expended under the di-
reetlon Of the Commissioner of Patents.
For deficiency in contingent fund, caused