Smyrna times., 1872-06-26
WHOLE NO. 895
How the Deacon Got Caught.

We have no hesitancy in stating that among
the able-bodicd male adults of this city the very
beverage known as soda water"
and which is dealt out 80 unsparingly at almost
every corner during the heated term, s consid-
cred, to use their own language, thin
drink" But as this ingenious mixture Of wind
and water is termed thin" strong liquors,
such as whiskies, are altogether too "thck''
for steady, warm weather drink; and so the
imDiber who must "moisten his fues" with
some liquid refreshment seeks pleasant COM
bnation of the two classes of drink, which
form d happy combination that exhiarates,
yet is not intoxicating. 1t is customary among
these bibulous go-hetweens to enter drug
store call for soda water, and name their syrup,
at the same time giving wink to the dispen-
ser of 'slush, who takes the goblet, in which
he places the syrup, then stOOps down beneath
the counter or retres to a back room, where,
by some mysterious chemical change the con-
tents are colOred darkly, and the soda is then
let in upon the mixture, which is handed to
the customer with a wink from the clerk. SO
much for the process. Now for the sequel.
On Saturday a venerable gentleman from the
country, who is a respectable church deacon,
| justice Of the peace, member of the Band
of Hope" and Good Templar, in his native
village, came to this city to trade little in dry
goods and purchase such agricultural imple-
ments as be needed to plant and cultivate his
! SpllLR crops. Inc uS3COU Is SlGICtIy IenpeTdI6,
and never looks upon the wine when it is red
any more than he does when it is any other
color Unfortunately our old friend had suf-
fered from opthalmia i'll his early days, which
left him with an optical peculiarly which
caused his left upper eyelid to drop every few
seconds, and to those not familiar with his
!, infrmity gave him the appearance of winking
} Intentionally.
! The deacon is passionately fond of soda
water and such light beverages. He loves to
feel the gaseous compound coursing down his
? throat, and creating internal commOtlOns and
2 typhoons, that, however endurable by older
persons, throw babes into agony, and require
prompt doses of peppermint. So on Saturday,
S after he had bought few shovels, plows and
e Dolly Warden for his wife, he thought he would
q I'll up with soda water and drive on toward
o home. He entered drug store, inquired the
y price of the desired refreshment, deposited his
It scrip and awaited his mixture.
/. 'What syrup do you want ?" said the urbane
d clerk, as he mopped off the marble counter
it with the same towel he used a moment before
e to remove the honest sweat from his brow.
e 'Oh give me sassaparlly That is about as
II healthy as anything, guess. Here the dea-
( cans eyelid went back on him, and dropped
,e "All right" replied the fountain tender, as
TO he disappeared below the counter, and came
,e up a moment later with the drinking-glass, con-
in tanning about three fingers of "ssssaparilly, "
is to which he added the other ingredients, and
b. handed it to the deacon. The latter drained
in the contents to the very dregs, then brushed
H. the froth from his mouth, smacked his lips and
D. said:
ne THAT syrup isa leetle stronger than they
ad generally make it; but my blood is out of order
fe and l guess I'll take another glass. - At the
he same time his eyelid futtered meaningly, a!
nd before.
= ~. Joro ,roc roroo+oJ ooJ +bo code uo 70,
ed bbber left the store. About half an hour late
as he entered another establishment where a sigI
err announced soda and Mineral Water oil
IN Draught." 1t was noticed the deacon walket
es- as if he had the string halt, as he entered th
lat door, and that his spectaces were upside dow
he on his nose. He called for Congress water
ZEN at that place, saying he did not feel quit
The right, and was afraid he had used too mucl
MS syrup in his soda water at the other store, 0
else he was bilious. His optical weakness
exhibited itself as he spoke; and, returnin
-e's the wink, the clerk retired to a dark close
on then, returning, filled up the glass with plai
are Congress" and gave it to our now ''tightuaH
1u slight friend, who swallowed 1t without
all murmur.
ore How many 'sodas" the deacon stored ava
ou- before he left the city we are unable to say
i'm but he was found late in the day asleep in b
and wagon, with plCw point for pillow, an
me. several yards of Dolly Warden calico graceful
he drapped about his person for covering. /
nth revived sufficiently to inform stranger that
, to had been ''drugged' aud subsequent Wis
,od, to the localities where he had taken soda wat
all developed the fact that his unfortunate habit
odv winking-a defect over which he had no CO
With trol-was the cause of all his trouble. II
the soda water dispensers supposed him to be ''o
,ood of the boys" and every time his eyeid dro
ped took the hint. The deacon escaped Il
',jimjams," but says hereafter he will wear
:, "blinder' over that eye when he purchas
tne summer drinks, or else write his order on
ton P sate.-Phila paper.
It all D,r;rr o,os. r,oo,;nr b,ld b,, tho M.tbo