American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-11-30
GENERAL ITEMS.


| head of amen-tia?
WHY is cistern-pipe in a drought like
Mendelssohn's ''Songs Without Words 2
Because it's .'Lieder ohne wasser."
AN enterprising Yankee has opened al
institution in Boston for turning left
handed people into right-hanters.
| SUFFERERS from Ebay fever" or autumn
nal catarrh. say that the horse disease is
that and nothing else.
WE'RE in pickle now" said a man in
a crowd. "a regular JAM" said another
Heaven preserve us!' moaned an ole
lady.
| THEY'VE stopped giving the exact ages
of the old women out West, and merely
mention that Mrs. So-and-sO has a son
past ninety-three years old.
JUDGING from the habits of the rising
generation our biological reporter thinks
that the looming race is not likely to be
slow.
AN Indiana dog is confirmed tobacco
chewer. This is a modern example of the
old classical license of using ''quid' for
| eur"
THE japanese Minister has left a me-
mento-mori at New Haven, where he has
been investigating the system of educa-
ton.
THE hens have got an epidemic of their
own. whereby several thousand Rhode
Island hens have been laid in their narrow
beds.
DR.. MINER, of Boston, thinks that an
'.aristocratic debility of conscience" on
the part of parents, is a leading cause of
crime on the part of their children.
A WESTERN Dcmocritus. popularity
known as. Laughing Bill. wishes to wager
$500 on his claim to the cachinnatory
championship of the United States.
CULPRITs who are sent very often to
prison for theft and other crimes are now
known to the more comic members of the
police as ''knavy revOlvers."s
ALL the slate pencils are made in Ver-
mont. and the sales amount to from 13,
0OO. 600 to 100000 per year. This in
cludes what the girls eat.
RAW beef, chopped up fine with onions.
is new .sfeed'' which Germans consider
a cure or preventive of dyspepsia, as well
as of lung diseases.
WHO are the most disconnected of all
tradesmen! Blacksmiths, for their bel
Tvs and blows are always going, and
they are striking for wages all the year
round.
A NEW set of religious sectarians have
adopted a special form of worship and as
sumed the title of ''ChristadeIphians.'
They believe the world is to be destroyed
the year after next.
The remarkable development of the
chest in Scandanavians is attributed by
some ethnologists to the Thor-ax which
pla, such prominent part in their my
thOlOgy.
The monument mania in England has
reached such height that it is proposed
to erect one to IimOn of Athens. The
proposers merely want an occasion to
have good time on.
WHY are conundrums like the inside of
piano? Bee iuse they are why are-wi-are-
wire; and the maker of poor ones is UNI
like cOnundrum because he is not why
is-yi is-wise.
HERR NEUMAYER has written a book
on the South Pole, to remind the children
of earth that in their devotion to Fa(r)the,
North they have been neglecting Aunt
Arctic.
A GEORGIA gentleman will go down to
glory i'm the ladies' calendar for having in
vented a breezy fan attachment for sewing
machines. 1t has the merit of being use
full as well as fan-cful.
In advance of the season a ''snOw-stOrm
hat'' is displayed by tradesman. 1t has
white specks on dark ground, but the
specks are so small that without specs no.
body can see them.
A DENTIST is anxious to become acquain-
ted with the celebrated man born with a
silver spoon in his mouth. The dentist
wants to extract that spoon and replace
it with ivory and gold.
ONE of our contemporaries is shocked
afresh over the s'pretty waiter girls'' who
are cOstumed as pages" without even
stitched wrappers, and insists that they
should be "bound over"
STRONG minded female invalids object
to being sent to a noted Mediterranean
health resort on the ground that it only
gives Mentone, whereas they want a place
to give women tone, too.
IN view of the authoritative assertion
by the Swiss Historical Society that the
reputed Swiss patriots archery hit was a
myth, and that in fact there never was a
tyrant Gessler, nothing remains to Tell.
1T Is said that the Able Bauer, for
merly chaplain of the French imperial
is about to follow Pere Hya-
cinthe's lead. and become Benedick in
stead of Benedictine. OF course the
Bauer can take any heart he chooses.
HERE is joke which only a Frenchman
would make: ssNever mind,' says the |
angry Frenchman, '.the hour of VEN
geance will strike.'' ''Never," replies the |
calm and well-informed Prussian. ''Nev- |
err, you have no more clocks in France"
An improvement in medical jurispru-
Ience has been introduced in Philadel- |
phia, where a new trial is sought tor
Hugh Mara, on the ground, not of his in
sanity, but of the insanity of the jury who |
condemned him.
Is there anything nowadays that |
won t explode! 1t began with kerosene
and rO-glycerine next pies and pota-
toes and such like began to blow up, and |
now we hear of death in Michigan from
the bursting of a circular saw.
The eccentric individual who stops to
,hake hands with everybody whom lie
meets in the street is said to have been en-
gagged for a fabulous sum to do al the
that will of course have to
De done when the successful candidates
rive their receptions.
If it were not beneath the dignity of the
'eligious journals to make puns, they
would stigmatize Professor Tyndall's ex-
detrimental correspondent as a prayery
wolf in sleeps clothing. AS it is. being
more upright, they are more downright
N their language.
MR.. GEORGE LEE, the Gilmore of Dub
in, who got up a local jubilee there dur
ng the late exhibition. is to be knighted.
whilst Boston's Patrick is left benighted
md cut of pocket, Notwithstanding his
intimate relations with all the potentates
If Europe.
The Shali's Harem.