Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-10-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS
A TALE OF MIsERY--The cocktail.

|
B strange gawds. ..l
A LION four feet high has been shot in
California.
THERE are ffty-nine civilized countries
on the globe.
| "FLEA, thou obnoxious insect" is the
latest for "Shoo Fly" a'
A CARRIAGE wheel grows less tired the
more it works. .t.......
NEW BooK-"Ebenezer divorced" a
sequel to "Ebb Tide"
A NEW word is out. They say burg
lar has ''burgled'' SO much.
/ THE favorite song of the Siamese twins
1--WE were boys together
I In Springfield, Mass, the street cars
bear the inscription, "Will you rider" !!
No MARRIAGE can be solemnized in
Switzerland without three weeks no.
tice.
A CALIFORNIAN thinks he has discov-
cred the principle of perpetual motion.
A NEW abomination has appeared in the
vocabulary ''nuptiated' for married. ..
In South Carolina it is unlawful to al
low minors to pay ten pins or billiards
THE one species of lion that no one is
afraid ef--The dandy-lion. !. 9al .s Il.
I THREE diamonds in arrow have super
/ seded the solitaire as an engagement ring.
A KENTUCKY bachelor has courted one
LADY steadily, but 'unsuccessfuliy for
t twenty-seven years. VI 4a.t.a ban "
/ Mr.. A. G.. ALLEN had the ''pint'' taken
out of his name by telegraph, which made
GA Gallon of it. 'e ~~
| A WESTERN editor says of a neighbor
with aqqivering eye-lid, that he Shutters
in the left eye"
! A LADY asked a gentleman how old
he was He replied, "What you do
in everything" What was his age?-XL.
A MAN who works for living should
marry woman taller than himself. "The
laborer is worthy of his higher"
GIRLS in olden times didn't, behave any
better than they do nowadays. Even the
| Old Testament tells how Ruth followed
the Boaz around. Fl 40 @ual liaa,..i
| THE woman who never watched her
neighbors is said to be cousin to the
woman who did not know how many
dresses her sister-in-law had. r. .ao
CLEVELAND has cheerful youth, who
/ has passion for attending funerals. He
visited dying man recently, and assured
him he should have good send-of if
money could procure it. -
| A LOWELL girl claims that she won
| her husband by stratagem. He fell
in the river she grabbed him, and when
he came to the surface, he was very
much excited, and proposed marriage.
THEY had concert in Salem, Mass
recently, in aid of the Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and to
attend it thirty-seven persons rode at
one time in Car drawn by only one
horse. ..I-. 't.ssI
PET. sMamma, want to make leetle
bargain with you" Mamma. "What sit,
my dear ?" Pet. eff you will give me a
paper of sugar -plums every day, won't
tell anybody you take your hair out of
drawer"
A SUNDAY-SCHOOL teacher, who had
almost become discouraged over the list
lessness of her class, at last felt rewarded
by an interesting look from little girl.
The reward was lost when the little
creature touched bracelet on her arm
and asked, "Teacher, are them threaded
on 'lastic ?"
AN analysis by Prof. Chandler, of
Columbia College, sets at rest the story
that there is anything poisonous in the
ingredients or processes used in the
paper, printing, or cumming of postage
stamps. 9H-t
GEORGE" asked the teacher of a
Sunday-schOol class, "Who, above all
others, shall you wish first to see when
you get to heaven % Witha face bright
ening up with anticipation, the little fell
low shouted, "Gerliahn f.. .G.. usn|
BANGOR, Me-, is undergoing serious
bombardment from a neighboring ledge
of rock, which is being blasted. Holes
have been knocked through the roofs OF
several buildings, and rock weighing
fifty pounds dropped down in front of a
lady's parlor window.
THE very poetry of farming must be
reached in cultivating the rose farms of
Bulgaria. They cover hundreds of thou
sands of acres, and the Paris perfumers
reap rich harvest of fragrance, which
finds its way over the seas, and scatters
itself in every direction. ...n
In the Central District Court at Worces-
ter, the other day, man named
Paradise failed to respond as witness,
and was defaulted, the court remarking,
soto 00ce, ''that's Paradise lost, to which
the clerk answered, as he filled out
capaaS eyes, but he'll be Paradise re-
gained before night"
A MODEST bachelor says all he should
ask in wife would be a good temper,
sound health, good understanding, agree
able physiogonomy, pretty figure, good
connections, domestic habits, resources of
amusement, good spirits, conversational
talents, elegant manners and money.
THERE is a perpendicular ledge, one
I1rr1o O,1Nf f1afao oh n10i
of a pond in Maine, from the brink of
which it is difficult to throw stones into
the pond on account of powerful attrac-
ton drawing stones to the base OF the
ledge. usse aa uooa q.
AN absent-minded man entered Troy
shoe store the other day, and wanted his
boy measured for a pair of shoes. "But
where's the boy ?" said the dealer
Thunder P' said the man.. '1've left the
boy at home. I'll go and bring him,
and off he started for his house, six
blocks away. ia-,r.asr
WASHINGTON has man who don't per-
nit himself to be bothered by such little
things as getting hurried. He forgot
that he was going to be married the other
day. and didn't call round till evening,
when, being informed of his negligence,
ne Mdue all pOsSlDle repdTdGlOH ny lIuue-
diately undergoing the operation.
YOU'VE MILDLY Ito his uncle, who's never
seen the a)-''You want to know why
the sea goes back, eh !? Well, you see
the waves are caused by the little fishes
wagging their tails; then they swim away
in order to get caught by the fishing
smacks +; and then, as they can't live with
out water, the sea follows them. This
causes high tide and low tide" Uncle
marvels at his nephew's knowledge.]
THE San Bernardino (Cal) GeC0rd5a1a
! saws. Last week the Frenchman who at