Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-10-17
fact, fnm and fauty.

If your horses stand on boards oil their
hoofs frequently.
- A nod from lord is breakfast for a
fool.
-Crusty says that the list of marriages in
the newspapers ought to be put under the
head of Ring Frauds"
"A little girl who was asked to define
reading, said: "It is hearing with the eyes
instead of with the ears"
- The Arabs say: "Anger your friend, and
you will be surprised to find what great vii
lain you are, even in your friends estimation"
- Mark Antony, when depressed and at the
ebb of fortune, cried out that he had "lost all
except what he had given away"
- An exchange says: "This is the fifth trout
caught this year from the same hole the
total weight of which is six pounds" Good;
now we know what hole weighs.
DR.. Aver of Cheever colony, Kansas, was
seriously injured by a we'll caving in on him.
He should have attended to the sick and let
the we'll alone.
If you want to talk heavy science, say
"protoxide of hydrogen" instead of "ice" 1t
sounds bigger, and not one man in ten will
know what you mean.
Some one in speaking against suicide
says, as clincher, that it is the height ofim-
politeness to 60 anywhere unless you are
sent for.
There is no policy like politeness; and a
good manner is the best thing in the world,
either to get a good name or to supply the
want of it.
Josh Billings says: "The highest rate of
interest that we pa IL for borrowed trouble.
Things that are alwus going tew happen
never do happen"
Real merit of any kind cannot be con-
can depreciate it but mans exhibiting it
himself
We would be better persons, if, instead
of sitting in judgment on our intellects, we
would allow our intellects to sit in judgment
on US.
When Coleridge was asked by somebody
what was "the use" of certain new scientific
discovery, he retorted by asking, "What is
the use of newborn child?"
The woman who never watched. her neigh
bors is said to be cousin to the woman who did
not know how many dresses her sster-in-law
had.
"A Scotchman asked an Irishman why
farthings were coined in England, and Pats
answer was: "To give Scotchmen an oppor-
tunity to subscribe for charitable institutions"
Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or
duties, but Of little things in which smiles and
kindnesses, and small obligations, given ha-
bitually, are what win and preserve the heart,
and secure comfort.
Never overwhe]m your friends by begging
them to make themselves at home,' or they
will soon wish they we're there. Show by
your actions, rather than your words, that
you are glad to see them.
While ten men watch for chances, one
makes chances; while ten men wait for some
thing to turn up, one turns something up.
So while ten men fail, one succeeds, and is
called the man of luck, the favorite Of fortune.
There is so much Of weeping and then
forgetting, that use may be made Of what
Miss Mulock says "When God takes our
dead from us, he means for us not to grieve
forever, only to remember"
Life affords but few opportunities Of doing
great service for others; but there IS scarcely
an hour of the day that does not afford us an
opportunity Of performing some little, it may
be unnoticed kindness
More than 32S,000,000 persons exclusive
of season ticket holders, travelled upon the
railways of England and Wales in 1871. Out
of this immense number, incredible as it may
seem, only six persons were killed by causes
beyond their own control.
One of the Yale students asked Mr.. Bee
cheer, if man who is naturally cold and un-
sympathetic should 60 into the ministry.
NO." Mr. Beecher replied; ''you might as
we'll take an icicle to warm an invalid's bed
with"
A sheriff who had writ to serve, ascer-
tained that the defendant was dead, and toss
ing the paper over the wall Of the cemetery,
he made return upon the writ that he had
left the summons at his last and usual place
of abode
In dealing with animals, untimely or un-
reasonable whipping, angry or boisterous
words, are always out Of place-always do
more harm than good. The dullest animal
appreciates kindness The most celebrated
horse-tamer in this country is said to have
made these words his motto: "Firmness and
Kindness" and he never failed Of success.
The credit system has been carried to a
very fine point in some Of the rural districts,
if we may judge from the following dialogue,
said to have occurred between customer and
proprietor "Haows trade, Square p
"Wa-al, cash trades kinder dull naow, ma jor.
Betsy Nipper has bort an eggs worth of tea,
and got trusted for it till her speckled pullet
lays
Gladstone says: ITO comprehend mans
life, it is necessary to know not merely what
he does, but also what he purposely leaves
undone. There is limit to the work that
can be got out of human body or human
brain, and he is wise man who wastes no
energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted /;
and he is still wiser, who, from among the
things that he can do we'll, chooses and reso-
lutely follows what he can do best"
The Merrimack Journal gives this as a
specimen of the "coming obituary." "Died in
the 35th year of his age, John Smith, husband
of the Hon. Jane Smith, at her residence in
Franklin, at six o'clock. Mr.. Smith was a
meek and quiet husband, beloved for the
graces of cultivated nature. He excelled
in the domestic virtues; as a cook he was
surpassed by few, as nurse he was equalled
by none."
"A soldier was seen in the trenches holding
! his hand above the earthwork His captain
asked, "What are you doing that for, Pat p
He replied with a grin and working Of his
fingers, "I'm feelin' for furloug h, sure"