The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-07-26


"AH, Mr.. Simpkins. we have not
chairs for our com pany," said a gay wife
to her frugal husband. Plenty of
chairs, dear, but too much company"
replied Mr.. Simpkins, with knowing
wink.
WHAT is the fashion, Annie? Fashion
is something that causes Betsey, who
goes bareheaded all the week, when the
sun is shining, to wear gloves and carry
q parasol on Sunday, when it is cloudy.
II IAN, ladies'" said an old bon Sivant,
as he opened bottle of wine, "what is
more delightful than the popping Of a
champagne cork Z" "The popping of
the question: unanimously cried the
ladies'. IN r "a 81 no srf fie
\. AN editor wrote leading article on
the fair sex, in the course Of which he
said: "Girls of seventeen or eighteen
are fond Of beaux." When the paper
was Issued, he was rather shocked to
discover that an unfortunate typograph.
ical error had made him say: :" Gir.s Of
seventeen or eighteen are fond of beans"
JOIN RANDOLPH met an enemy in the
street, one day, who refused to give him
half the sidewalk, saying that he never
turned out for q rascal. ~ do" said
Randolph, stepping aside and politely
lifting his hat Pass on, SIR"
A LADY was urged by her friends to
marry q widower, and - an argument
they spoke of his two beautiful chill
dren. "Children," replied the lady,
" are like tsoth picks-a person wants
their own" +t"i
A BrvY Of young ladies, while cross
ing Mill creek, at Salem, CAL, by moon.
light, thought they observed goose
swimming in the creek, and began pelt-
ing it with stones, when they were great
" astonished by hearing the aforesaid
goose exclaim: /" Why can't you let
fellow alone; ain't botherin you
any,"
Taskind of litersture is still popular
in Missouri !, The sgglutinated eye
lids Of Mcleod, Of, Calumet, were first
separated BY an attentive nurse eighty
three years ego. Since thattime they
have never looked upon = rain that tor
witness would equal that which spread
itself over this village last week"
A COUNTRY girl went to Fond du Lac,
the other day, and for the first time saw
the immense appendA0e hung 70 the
back of q new.fashioned dress. She
took a square look at It, liked it, and
determined TO have one. &c. going INTO
the store, she asked the clerk to show
her some of his "hunR, cleth. Inc
clerk was embarrassed, but after con-
sulting With the proprie tor, the young
lady got her hump cloth and departed
happy lAsG0 Z 80 5.t.i haSwNon
!. A SNORT time back the question was
asked, Why, do men marry = Inc
following reply was not less singular
than true "Sonne young men marry for
dimples, some ears, some noses; the
contest however, generally lies between
the eyes aud the hair. The mouth, too,
is occasionally married, the chin not so
A RURAL editor tries his hand at wri.
ting . Bridge Of Sighs thus:eh
0ns ncrs potato bus sltnif
stsppsS On 90 ts.dsrly. 3,
eii. Pccriittic tsssr bug Faf
Smashed in the dustl sori
In thyprosperity
800 Business has bust =. stF uaJ.f...
A SIMPLE and effective mode OF XII
ing ones creditors without fear Of de-
lection has been invented in New
Hampshire. Il consistsT Of writing 10
the intended . letter requiring an I'M
mediate an swer, and inclosing power
fully poisoned stamp for return postage.
Agents who will take the patent r'ght
for States or counties where there are
many mothers.in.law may realize hama
some profits. .-r- 80 4" !"