davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
A Happy Daddy.

The following letter from an esta-
tic father, refers to an event not
uncommon in matrimonial life.
DEAR SISTER III now take my
seat and sit down to take this OPP
/ portuuity To inform YOU that I am a
''daa,iy' at last; that is l suppose
am, for Abbie has got a nice, fat ha
by ana we hope these few lines will
inl you enjoying the same great
blessing. Now this is to he a strict
Is business letter. Firstly, as |
said before, Abhie has got As nice a
baby as evel made up faces. Next
ly, ! have swapYed away old Buck
skin, and think l have got a pretty
good horse; it is a gal, and weighs
nine pounds, 1 mean the bahy J,
AMI is iast IS fas !m5teEs and has
got q good strong pair of lungs. She
is red and has a bobtail, (the horsc
/ meant, aa3 white stripe in her
face, and is a good driver; she has
got blue evs and dimple in her
chin, mean the baby now, Just
the prettiest mouth YOU ever saw
open to receive a pap; and Judging
from her teeth l would suppose her
to be about six years old, (the
horse | mean). She IS sound,
smooth and kind, (I mean the baby
or horse either now. and the doc
tor SAYS she is the fairest he ever
saw without any exceptions. lie
means the baby). | got twenty
Gye dollars to boot, mot on the ba
by, though, for in its case the boot
was on the other foot, and two or
three sizes larger, as near as I can
find out). l am going to harness
the horse now and 60 after mother,
she was born last night at twenty
minutes past nine. Fl hope you
don't think l mean mother or the
horse-I meaI the habY). She is
as hearty as pig; ate an egg, a
huiscuit, and drank three cups OF
tea for dinner mean Ahbic -
She Is getting along nicely, and if
she don't have any bad luck, she'll
Get along frst-rate. She is subject
To disorders of the stomach, and
they say is a sign of the cholic. (I|
mean the baby(. I hope SO for the
nurse says that coIicly babies never
lie. She talks about eer nose, as
she takes snuff. (the nurse 1 mea"
uOw.
There / have been reading this
over and l see plainly that it is not
st To write. The amouat Off is
illustrated. l am happy daddy
ami that accounts for it; SO you
must excuse me this time. SAM.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
humorous g,ift.

What part of a rife is an assault?
The breach Of the peace.
When is the clock on Che stairs
dangerous?-Whcn it runs down.
Who ever saw anybody near a fire
who didn't want to play poker?
A lobster never comes ashore
without great risk of getting into
hot water.
"When we were boys together" is
the sad refrain of the Siamese twins.
What i, it that YOU can take
without hands5-A hint.
Many people who cannot square IA
circle can get round q square meal.
Money Is a great lever in the af
fairs Of men; 50 great lever thar
some of rs can never keep it.
Sersible doctors disapprove of
alcohol, hat believe in the cheering
fleets OF good spirits on their pa
tie8ts.
An I1saman describing the
5rovth of potatoes in his native
land. said, as cliucher: An sure,
a buslIcl Of them will fin a barrel.
The Topper says it woall be just
as sensible 10 establish restaura Is
without meat, rs It would be To Ii
ccnse public houses without drinks
That Vermont girl who split a
cord # wool daily will be wood by
a raft Of fellows when she grows up.
aNrvcr mis- your drinks is held
90 he q good rule with topcrS. and
is not at all bad one Tor miiAmcn
L. observe.
II is said that the izlt Of a match
will ffiehten wolf, bat q love
match sometimes fails 10 keep the
wolf from the door.
Josh Biliings says. ssDon't snrk
before breakfast. fit is necessary
60 toll before breakfast eat your
breakfast frs.
a German peddler sold a man a
LIQUID for tbe determination OF
bugs. @And how do you use it,"
inquired the man after he bought
it. -Ketch &c bug. nat drop Won
little drop into his mont. - answered
the ped Tier. The deuce You say. =
exclaimed the purchaser; Il could
kui 10 in half fhp time by stamping
on t." we'll" calmly exclaimed
Tie German. "dat ish a good way,
roo, to Kill him.
An luebeiatel Democrat was din
I ing at the Ives House, Sedalia, The
other day "Beef. pork. mutton,
veal. or chicken, said the polite
waiter. Il don't care q --, vas
the reply anything 10 beat
Grant
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

Mary smith, my"
George came through the door
and glanced careIessly at the coTne
here the woman stood. Then
With a ~, s rang with ont-stretcheo
rms % meet the little figure thai
prang into them.
The deacon and Mrs. Clements
fool in speechIess amazement
Then Ma ion all bushes and tearfu
Yiles. vent ev-'' TO .he old pair am
took their hands.
- am Gcor-e's wife. I was $,
fr2id Won would never love me. s.
came determined to win YOU, if
could. Mother, father, may l be
your daughters"
And happier family, when they
lad exhausted their powers Of sur
5ri~n, amazement and pride IN the
hrautiful Marion. never gave thanks
yer supper table.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

~Bny, what is your father doing
today?' "Wcll, | 'spose he is fail
IN. / heard him tell mother yes
5erlal, to 90 around u the shops
and oct trusted all she eOuId-and
do it right of, too-tor hc hal got
everything ready to fail up TO moth
inc. 'ceptin, that.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
THE NEW CHURCH ORGAN.
BY WILL NJ. CARLETON.

They've got a bran new organ, Sue,
For all their fuss and search;
They've done Just as they said they'd do,
And fetched il into church.
They're bound the critter shall be seen,
And on the preachers right
They've hois.e ed up the new machine
In every body's sight.
They've got cheri~ter and choir,
Agin my voice aud vote;
For it was never my desire
To praise the Lord by note.
I've been a sister good an true
For five and thirty year:
I've done what seemed my part to do,
An prayed my duty clear;
I've sung the hymns both slow and
quick,
Just as the preacher read,
An twice, when Deacon Tubbs was
sick,
took the fork an lead!
An now their bold, new tangled ways
Is comm all about;
An l., right in my latter days
Am fairly crowded out!
To-day the preacher. good old dear,
with tears all in his eyes,
Re.,i-''I can read my title clear
20 Hu~iuus i'm the skies, -
/ aI'ays ed that blessed hymn
/ 'spusc i lays will,
IL somehow gr,zif~= my whim,
In good old Ortouville;
But when that choir got up to sing,
couldn't ca,ch a word;
They sung the most dog-gondest thing
\ body ever heard!
Some worldly chaps was standin' near
An when seed them grin,
I I bid farewell to every fear,
And boldly wadcd in.
! I thought III chase their tune along,
An tried with all my might;
| But though my voice is good an strong
couldn't steer It right;
| When they was high, tneu | was low
An also cou,rawi-c;
| An / too fast, cor they too slow,
To mansions in the skies
An az er every verse, you know,
They played a little tune;
/ Didn't understand, and 50
started in too soon.
pitched in pretty middlin' high,
| fetched luSty tone,
But oh. alas! found that 1
Was singin' there alone.
They laughed little, / am told;
But had done my best;
And not wave of trouble rolled
Across my peaceful breast.
I'm sister Brown could but look
She sits right front of me;
She never was no stugiu' book,
An never went to be;
But then She nj avs tried to do
The best she could, she said,
She understood the time right through,
An kept il with her head;
But when she tried this mornin', oh,
had TO laugh, or cough!
Ii KEEP her head bObbin' soi
1t cen Almost came OF!
An Deacon Tubbs--hc all broke down,
As one might well suppose;
lie took ore look at sister Brown,
An mcekly scratched his nose.
lie looked his hymn book through and
. through,
An laid 1t on the seat,
An' then a peuSive sigh he drew,
An looked completely beat.
An wien he took another bout,
lie didn't .eu rise;
BUT draw ell his red handIuncr out,
And wiped his weepin' eyes.
We been a sister, good an true,
For five and thirty year;
We done what seemed my part % 40
An PRAYED my daty clear;
But death viii stop my voice, ! know
For he Is on nay track;
IN some day / 60 chIrch VIII 50,
An never more come back
lu' when the folks git up to sing
NIartasar rItsff time shall Dc
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
MEDTCAL CARD

DR. J. T. 0HANT. DIR. e. c. aSHES, S,TEv'
PuIasI1i Tenn,
nRS. Grant 6 Abernathy have this
4 u dAv formed a copartnership Ia the
practice of Medicine and Surgery.
OFFIcE-The one formerly occupisd
by them on 2nd. Main street near the
Presbyterian Church. Or. Grant can
he found al night at the residence oeep-
pied last year by David $. Martin, on
i-t. Main street. DR.. Alternately NJ liis
residence. Jan {, lS72-ly
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
LOOYT


The pencil marks you see around thls
paragraph (thusl mean that your sEb-
scription is ont and unpaid, and that you
are requested to pay up at once. We
wouli take great pleasure in extending
.rcdi to our Hiends and patrons, Tat
cash alone VIII pay expenses. ahd VIC
are ronccd to adhere to strict cash
rule. We hope you viii comprehend
and appreciate the necessity Of such :
course, and renew your subscription
without delay. We solicit yonr faver.
Is- we enter no new names on our
books without the money IN advance.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

Thomas Scot, Of the southern
Railroad Security Company, has
secured from Congress ali the legis
lation tou hing his railroad enter
prise that hc asked AMI it is sta
ted by persons associated with
aim, that he viii in a few weeks
make such disposition OF his ar-
fairs as will enable him to devote
all his time exclusively To the
building ef tie Texas Pacific road.
which he will make the great work
of his life General Dodge, the
builder Of the Union ruciiic, viii be
his right-hald man and chief exeeu-
tive officer.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

Words are wise mems counters
hey do not reckon ny them; but
they are money 10 fools.
Confuscius declares that he that
sn ks with. Mt modestv will find il
hard 10 make his words good.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
%. j. @. ROBERTs,

A~ND' q - - =
HAVING perm lncntly located in Pa
1 laski, viii continue the practlee of
Medicine and Sur yery. Twenty-Five
wears practice nc h~ne and in the army
Inspire conddenc In, and abiluy to
scryea generous LJhlic with efficiency.
OFrIcE: Bank Block, mp stairs j5tf
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

Mr.. Thomas A. scott. President
Of the Penusylvania Central Rail
road, is alsn President of twenty
six otheI railroads lie controls
seven Thousand miles Of railroad,
and credits u his salary account
$4,000 per annum. lie began
-ailroaJing as a brakcsnan.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13
We been n sister. good an true,

we been a sister, good an true,
For five and thirty year;
We done " hat seemed my part 20 do
An prayed my daty clear;
Itut death viii stop my voice, ! know
For he Is on nay TRACK;
IN some day / to ehurch viii SO,
An never more come back.
lu' when the folks git up to sing
WAene'er that time shall be-
don't wan no patent thing
q snuenlin' over me!
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

Clarcaon says: Anger Is the
most potent passion that accompa
uits the mind of man; IL affects
nothing it goes abunt. aud hurt
-he man wbo is possessed by it more
than any other against whom il is
directed.
It Is easy In the world 70 live ST
ter the worlds opinion; Il Is easy
IN solitude 10 live after your own
hut tlie great man is he wlio IN the
midst IF the crowd kerI1s with per
feet sweetness. the independence OF
solitude.
7 never vet heari a map or wo-
man much abused that ] WAS not
inclined 10 think the better OF
/ them aud t0 transfer my suspicions
ar dislike % the person who ap.
pearcd TO take delight in pointing
out the defects Of a fellow creature
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

We gain nothing bv associntiBg
with such A. ourselves. We encour-
1ge one another IN mediorritv 1 az
always longing 10 be with men more
excellent than myself
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1872-06-13

An luebeiatei Democrat was din
inr at the Ives House. Sedalia. the
other day. "Beef. pork. mutton,
veal. or chicken, said the polite
waiter. Il don't care q --, was
the reply; anything 10 beat
Grant"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24
COOLING FOR BLUFKINS.

Young Blufkins, son of old Rlufkins the banker
Gently caught in a shower. and took refuge under
the portico of a. dwelling on Beacon street. A
very attractive young lady-a p city maiden
who sat by the open window seeing his situation,
sent out a servant with an umbrella. Bufkins
went away in ectasy; and on the following day,
having attired himself in most elaborate and
stunning array of starch and jewels, he took the
umbrella which was an old one, and laid it away
with his treasures on conquest as a souvenir and
then he went forth and purchased an affair to re-
place 1t of the most beautiful and costly kind
Thus equipped. he called upon the lady to return
her fattering loan. She admitted him to her
presence, and received the umbrella without ap.
par ntly noticing the exchange: and it was not
until she had listened with becoming gravity to
his highly dramatic acknowledgements that the
truth beamed upon her. She saw that he labored
under the enchanting impression that she had
been smitten by his appearance
''Wealy," said Blufkins, IN sweet, poetic mood,
''youah tencer act touched me. Aw-it touched
ms.deeply,-it did, pom honaw.''
Indeed sir" replied the maiden, with charm
ing naivete, there no need Of this gratitude
on your part. AS you stood beneath our portico
you DISTRACTED my view of a gentleman at an OPP
sent the umbrella as the readiest means to gel
rid ofyOwr WnaOslconte presence
Blufkins went home, and broke up the UNI
brella, aud consigned its hated fragments to the
ash barrel.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24
HOW TO SERVE A LOW FELLOW.

Lord Norbury. Chief Justice OF England, de-
spised the class of low prisoners attorneys, and
observing one sitting in the dock for business
among the prisoners, was determined to punish
him. So on on~ occasion, as the attorney was
climb ng over the rails of the dock after confer
ing with the prisoners his lordship called out to
the jaior
"Jailor, pat that man backbone of your priso-
ners is escaping!"
Whereupon the jailor thrust the lawyer back in
to the dock; bat having worked his way te the
front of the dock, he addressed the Judge, when
the following CONVEX sation took place between
them
Attorney, 'My lord, there is mistake, am an
Attorney"
Lord Norbury. II am very sorry, sir, indeed,
to see gentleman Of your respectable position in
the docks as prisoner
Attorney. "But, my lord, L have committed no
crime
Lord Norbury. "0h sir, have nothing to say
to that-tEat must be decided by jury Of your
countrymen."
Attorney. But, my lord, there is no charge-no
Indictment against me-"
Lord Norbury. "Then, sir, you will be dis
charged by public proclamation at the end of the
assizes." TO the jaior.) "Jalor, put back the
prisoner
Where upon the officer thrust back the limb OF
the law, and kept him until the rising of the
court, when His Lordship sent to the ailor a mess
age instructing him to let him out
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24
IRON IN THE BLOOD.

Probably no fact in medical or chemical scienca
is more widely understood than that the there is
iron in the blood AS a fact it. isno mora 70.
markaole than that this fluid holds potassium or
sodium, or that the brain is permcated with phos-
phorus.' The popular curiosity and interest re-
garding iron as 1t exits In the circulation have
been excited by the vendors Of ouack remedies al
legged to contain some combination of the ele-
ment While there is much that Is very absurd in
the statements popularity presented it is impossi-
BILE to overlook the Importance to the well being
of the individually Of the few grains of iron found
If the quantityis diminished from any cause. the
whole economy suffers serious arrangement We
have reason to believe that when me normal guam
tity (about 100 grsns) is reduced ten per cent the
system is sensiby effected, and the health suffers
How sensitive to all the chemical reactions going
on within and around in this complex machine we
call the body But iron, among the mineral con
stituents efthe body, does not stnad alone in its
important relationship. The metals exist ON
bined with other bodies, or they are locked up in
the form of salts, which are vital to the economy
There are five pounds Of phosphate of lime, one OF
carbonate of lime, three.ounces of oride of cal.
cum, three and half ounces OF common salt, all
of which have important offices to fll Not one
Of them must be allowed to fall in quantity below
the normal standard. If the lime fills, the bones
give away; If salt is withheld, the blood suffers
and digestionis impaired if phosphorus lis Sd ar
ingly furnished, the mind is weakened, gand the
tendency is towards idiocy-[Dr. Nichols Fire
side Science
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

FILL YOUR LAMPS IN THE MoRNIEG.-Scarcely a
week passes but we read accounts of frightfnl &C.
ecldents from kerosene lamps exploding and kill
leg or soaring for life men. women and children
A-eimple knowledge of the infiammable nature OF
the liquid Will probably put stop to nearly all
the accidents. AS the oil burns down In the
lamp. highly infammable gas gathers over It's
surface, and the oil decreascsthe gas increases
When the oil is nearly consumed, a slight Jar,
will infams the gas, and an explosion is sure 10
follow-death and destruction. A bomb-shell in
no more 10 he dreaded. Now if the lamp is not
allowed to burn more than half way down, such
accidents are almo1t impossible Always FIJI your
lamp every morning. and then you need never
fear an explosion
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

FERTILIZERS ACCORDING TO LAw.-New Hamp
shire has adopted law to regulate the quality and
sale Of commercial fertilizers, The manufacturer
must file bond with the State Treasurer in &c.,
000 payable TO the State, but with condition
that it shall be void upon compliance with the
law, which requires that all fertilizers offered for
sale shall be accompanied with q statement nam.
ing the date Of manufacture and the percentage OF
ammonia and other constituent parts. If these
shall prove to be false (Which is to be tested by
the State Assayer on due application, fine OF
$500 imposed on the cellar, to be prosecuted for
by the Attorney General or any county solicitor
1ne OF $500 is imposed for offering fertilizers for
sale wittodt a license.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

California newspaper prints the following
touching obituary phillip Hanscomb was
driving team loaded with powder up the Sierra
Nevada Mountains. One of the kegs dropped
from the wagon. The sierras stood it well
enough but the miners who came from neigh
boring rancho were unable TO find Mr.. Hanscomb
or the team
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24
Bucki12 gha m $ Dye.
FOR THE WASHERS,

AS our Remover in many cases
requires too long time, and too
much care, to restore gray or faded
Whiskers, we have prepared this
dye, in one preparat5on, WI..,A VII
quickly and el1octually accomplish
this result. It is oasily Mnplied,
and produces color w...luh VI i
neither rub nor wash III, -! *
all Druggists. I'.i;@2 10y ,-eni>.
Manufactured by Il. F. gtAL1- G II..
NASHUA. II. III.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

oemented friend sends to rs the statement
thata connecticut farmer has named a prize
rooster Robinson because Robinson Crew-so.
where is that asylum for decayed punsters loca-
ted, in these days?
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

steel your heart" saio a considerate father tc
son. flor yon are now going among some Iasci
mating gltls." Il had mach rather steal theirs. .
said The unpromiaing young man.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

zs"oh' my DEAR eagerly responded the fellow
'how can you think would interfere with your
happiness : go By all means''
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

ooy IN county school was reading the sen
tence' "lhe lighthouse is a landmark by oay and
beacon by night" and renderedit thus: .'The
Lighthouse is landlord by day and deacon by
night
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

Mr.. Holloway the English pill and ointw en-
man. is going to erect hospital, Which is as
good way as any of explating the sin OF selling
patent pills.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24
AEECDoTE OF RoSSINI.
ash barrel

Eossini has this curious anecdote related to
him in a recent biography, which accords with his
| reputation for laziness. One morning. when busy
writing in bed, the duet on which he was engaged
fell from his hands. Nothing easer,' an ordi
nary composer would say, ethan to pick it up
again" Nothing easier" said Rossini, ''than to
ethan to write new one in it's place." Rossini
would not get out of bed for a mere duet. He set
to word and composed another, which did not
resemble the original one in the luast, A friend
called. 81 have just dropped duet" said Rossi-
nj, II wish you would get it for me. You will
find it somewhere under the bed. The frerd felt
or the duet with his cane, fshed it out, and hand
ed it to the composer. NOW, which do you like
best?" asked Rossini 81 have written two"
He sang the air Of them both The friend pre-
ferred the first; so did Rossini, an decided to turn
the second duet into trio. He finished his trio,
got up, dressed, sent the two pieces to the theat
rical copyist, and went out to breakfast
The great American inventions, which have been
adopted all over the world, are the following
The cotton-gin, without which the machine, spin
uer and power loom, would be helpless. The
planning machine. The grass mower and grain
reaper The rotary printing press. Navigation by
steam. The hot air (caoric) engine. The sewing
machine. The Indian Rubber industry The
machine manufacture OF horse shoes The sand
blast (for carving). The Guage lathe. The grain
elevator. The artificial manufacture OF ice on a
large scale. The electro magnet, and its practical
application, by Henry g Morse. The only sue
ccssful composing machine for printers The
manufacture Of paper for many OF the uses to
which iron and steel are put.
A shrewish wife, quite SICK called her husband
to come and sit by her bedside
This is sad world, my DEAR said the wife,
plaintively.
Very" conceded the man.
Were it not for leaving you should love to
quit it."
Iass Oh, my DEAR eagerly responded the fellow,
chow car you think I would interfere with your
happiness go By all means''
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

Amy Richardson Of Iewa weighs 1852 pounds
This is the latest case of big amy.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-10-24

A shrewish wife, quite sick, called her husband
to come and sit by her bedside
This is sad world, my DEAR said the wife.