Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-08-01
BREYITIES AND LEVlTIES.
at-aoe-The ace of infancy.

Doat-age-The age of infancy.
The science of sorrow-Sigh-c hology.
A youthful warrior-A baby in arms.
Something to boot-An impeItine dun.
"Still Life'-The whisky manufacturing
business.
The book for pedestrians-Walker's Die
tionary.
AmouStache cannot properly be called a
curl of the lip.
a Safety Match-Ten thousand per an
mum settled on the wife.
An exchange mentions Mr.. Abt, author
of the "Homeward Fly"
Why is loaf of bread like caterpillar
Because it is the grub that makes the but
ter-fy.
If you have many creditors always carry
an umbrella and walk On the sunny side VI
the street. .-s...-..-
ga good family cat viii weigh ten
pounds" Wonder how many pounds a
ba1 family cat will weigh?
One of our bachelor readers supposed a
lady's bridal day is that on which she first
takes the rein.
What is the difference between an I'M
married and married lady? One is a
miss, and the other miss is.
One of the Western railroads has fe-
male engineer of the beautiful blonde order.
She makes the sparks fly.
How TO enjoy nice embracing day at the
seaside-Get on board pleasure boat, and
let her hug the shore.
Why is moth futtering round candle
like a man getting off horse Because
they are both going to Alright.
H.
tumn in Massachusetts. So it was in Eden;
the first marriage was in the early fall.
The Freeport Journal says ''pairs are
abundant at that place, the front gates are
loaded down with them on fine evenings
A correspondent Of the Washington
Patriot says that the title LII. d. bestowed
on Mr.. Grant means "Lover of Large Do
nations"
What is the difference between pre-
served herring and fat earthenware man
ufacturer? One is "a pOtted bloster and
the other is a bloated potter.
An Iowa woman has realized fifty thous-
and dollars from the insurance on the lives
of her two husbands, and they weren't very
good husbands either.
What is the difference between civilized
diner and a person who subsists at the
North pole? One has his bill of fare and
the other his fill of bear.
Mr.. Beecher says Gen. Grant is ''honest-
minded" Which may be true, but if it is,
he has capacity for being imposed upon
that is absolutely sublime.
An ''army of tOads" that extended three
fourths Of mile along road, is told of by
Western editor. Guess they were going
to have 'igrand hop"
If the weather does not grow cooler very
soon, Mr. Fahrenheit, in justice to his pat.
r us, should at once add second story with
M4nsard roof TO his thermometer.
An Irish editor at the West mildly wishes
for "hundred and sixty acre lot of Spitz-
bergen frigidity, and an ice-gemmed grotto
in the basement of the Aurora Borealis."
"Mount Vesuvius never sleeps" said JC-
seph. 'Yes," r Piled Jacob, shut it is al
ways on the point of sleeping" Chow SOP
because it's always yawning."
A dog belonging to one of the San Fran
cisco engine houses has been shaved in i'm
itation of lion, nd the tuft on the tip of
his tail is dyed beautiful Pink.
On being told that copy of Bryanty
"Homer" was lately presented to the King
of Siam, ''Our Jim" remarked that he
didn't know Dan writ Homer"
There is nothing like a good definition,
as the teacher thought when he explained
the meaning of sold maid" as a woman
who had been made very long time.
Inasmuch as Caligula appointed his horse
to a consulship, it should not be considered
strange that Grant should now and then
have given jackass place in his cabinet.
All the more-The lack of pecuniary sue
cess attending the Boston noise annoys Mr..
Gilmore all the more because he is still as
sured that the Jubilee was organized on
sound basis.
Reliable Receipts.-For corns, easy shoes;
for bile, exercise; for rheumatism, new
flannel and patience; for govt. toast and
water; for the toothacbe, dentist; for
debt, industry; and for love, matrimony.
A popular writer says, fguratively, that
''the first month of married existence is the
delicacies of the garden; after the honey
moon begins the solid cabbage of married
life." Aye, and sauerkraut, too, says the
squibbist.
A French journalist recently put out his
eye in putting on clean shirt. Which
shows that, like other things in the world,
putting on clean shirts properly, requires
more frequent practice than Frenchmen
usually give to it.
There is one thing about hen that looks
like wisdom, they don't kackle much until
after they have laid their egg. Sum pholks
are always Dragging and hacking what
they are going TO do beforehand.-JOSh.
Billings.
In New Hampshire the following is
posted on a fence: Nottis-No kow is
alloued in these medders, eny men or
women letten there koBs run the rode,
wot gifts into my medders aforeseed shall
have his tail cut OFF by me, Obadiah
Rogers.
According to the Radical papers the
cheering for Grant at Philadelphia was
while the cheering for Gree |
ley at Baltimore was "bosh." 1t is very !
convenient sometimes TO have two names |
for the same thing.
Not to be disceuraged.-A Louisville hen |
is not to be discouraged by trifes. Having |
to set, and finding that all her |
eggs had been taken way, she raked to- |
gether half dozen Irish potat oes, and is |
now heroically at work on them.