Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1872-12-31
Josh Billings Horoscopes.


, en-, by taking the month in which
they were born, can tell just wha
kind of folks they are. Cut this GU
and preserve it, IS it will afford con
siderable amusement, either 10 til
family or at an evening party.
HOROSCOPE FOR JANUARY.
The yung gentlemen born thi
month will rename q bachelor unit
bis 10 year, and will hav kurly hair
he will finally settle down still ant
marry for life. His father will be ,
CRATE lover of phast horses. He will
live t2 be SO years ov age, and di,
worth about $50 dollars clear ov aw
debt.
The young lady born this month
Will know how tew pla on the plan
ner, and knit worsted. She will be
u blondy. and be near sited, and will
fall IN luv with CRATE difficulty. She
Will finally git welded tew the man
she marrys, and her whole life will
be easy. If she marrys the seckoDd
time, her husband will be q dentist
or an alderman.
FEBRUARY.
The man born, this month will be
good looking, but too much pror Q
tew toe in when he walks. He will
Ihave 2 wives, and o small hand. ex-
cept when be plays whist then he
Will have q big one. His first wife
will be kross.eyed, but bic seckond
one will be kross all over He will
have 4 children, who will all pass
through the meazels, with CRATE cred
1t tsw themselfs and no disgrace to
the meazles.
The yung female born during this
month will show CRATE Judgment in
sorting her lovers, and will finally
marry real estate agent. She will
hav phew failings; but who cares?
she wouldn't be interesting if she
didn't. At Is she will be a widow !;
and at stated intervals will be ink
lined to gush little.
MARCH.
The man born this month will be
inkline1 to blow little. He will be
q domestic man, and will kno how
tew rok the kradle and pare pota-
toze. He will marry the only daugh-
ter of a widdo, and will be good
Judge of mothers-inslaw. He will
die about the usual time in life. and
leave q house and lot, with a small
mortgage on it. He never will run
for office but once, and then git beat.
The won an who appears this
month will be an old maid till che is
20 years old, and then will suddenly
nrt s.~.essq9 chic t,;~a 90 L.--.-.-.-- Z
will be good housekeeper. and kno
how tow make plum puddin with
the plums left out. She will hang
on to her buty, tall she is about As
after that she will have to take her
chances.
APRIL.
The man born this month will have
g liquid temperament. but not neces.
sarlly inklined tew Ticker. His CRATE
aim will be tew get married and he
will git biz bird by marrying beau
titul and also good looking wife.
They will liz happy as two lambs,
and leave one son, whom they in
tended should be President of the
United States, but who very wisely
koEkluded tew be merchant tay-
lor.
The lady born this month will hav
blew eyes, and full set ov teeth.
Her heart will be az tender az a por-
terhouse steak. She will keep a lap
dorg, who will hav Yves K eyes, and
whose Christian name shall be Fam
nv. She will die and leave o bed
Quilt, which will go down to posteri
", with upwards Of z hundred blocks
10 il.
MAY.
The gentleman who invests his
life in this month will be very quick
tempered, espeshily when a hornet
tights on him in anger. His mother
will set a good deal by him, espeshi-
ly when be is in the kradle. He
will hav the humps very light, and
will spend most of his life intend
ing to marry, but will die at last
with half dozen old maids on his
bands. The wash wimmen will res
member him as the man who never
wore paper collars.
The lady born this month will fust
be bud, and afterwards blossom
Her heart will be az full ov twitter
az a kanary bird on peach. She
will have twilight hair She will
hsv menny lovers. She will be
reasonabel fond of silk clothes, but
her CRATE Joy will be in bonnet.
She will hav az little jealousy az it is
prudent for woman tew hav.
JUNE.
The male individual born during
June will be one of children, but
not the only one. He will hav 3
brothers, and one sister, who will
marry hard she'll baptist preacher.
He will study law, and enter the
profeshun with gilt edged prospeks,
out his fust klient being counterft-
err. whom he succeeds in getting
clear, and receiving so dollars in
counterfeit money for his services,
disgusts him with the bizines.
The female who appears on the
platform this month will alwus hav
cause to wonder viii she did it
Her father will be q skocl teacher
and be will bring her up in the dis
trikt school b'zIness. At 29 years
and six months she will larry, anC
will be we'll educated IN the duty
of wife, for she will understand
Daball's arithmetic, aud parseing
just az eazy az falling down the eel
lar stairs. She will hav but one sol
] and he viii be educated oph from hi
feet at an early age.
JULY.
: The man mortal who comes tex
the scratch this month will be
great lover ov politikaI life, and al
: ter many stormy trips will settle Il
} his native village q constable, elekt