The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-11-23

worth $50.
A joke is told about county official in one
" the southern counties which is too good to
'e lost. y gentleman went inro his office and
ound him in his not unusual state OF intoX-
alton, and unable tOtrars5ct business. How
nd they ever come" said the gentleman, sto
lect such dana fools as vDu to cffce."-
Why" replied the official We got the lhic)
majority"
A barber in IItOsyile, while cutting the
lair CT rural customer, rau bis shears against
ome hard substance, which proved to be
wholesome. The old farmer said he "had miss
ID that wholesome ever since , ylus time last
|uly. and had looked al over ten-acre lot
or it, but now he remembered sticking il up
'ver ms ear"
Bob-"Jim, de men don't make such fools
4 themselves about woman as &c women DO
bout men. If ey look ~ de noon dey see a
nan it If deg hear = mouse nibbling, It's
nan and Gry n. ,ooi, under dc bed last thing
It night to find q man. Why, 1cbbcr looks
,nder my bed to End woman, does you ?n
Uncle L.: "Now, Sammy, tell me, have you
'esd the beautiful story OF Joseph r.
Sam "On yes, uncle"
Uncle: We'll then, what wrong did they
10 when they sold their b7oth.r}"
hink."
4 man selling patent blind brides applied
70 an individual who bad been unfortunate in
his matrimonial s.isuCe. having rushed into
hc kno, .omevst too hastily. Blind b,j-
! les y he replied testify, II h,l one Gi3d b-i
[se, snd doa't want arc her o-e' lie saw
be blind.
Here is en- original gem which appeared on
IN Arkansas Tombstone:
Grim death Ia, taken a.rlicr little Jerry
Oniy soE Of Joseph sud Sirsoa Howels
Seven DAYS un atesil-a With .Ha dT-rntery
And then lie tssISae- IN his lille bowels
A country editorial sole editorial in one
feek Was: 1T anything viii make ma tel
flcy about toe h,.r1, It l. - talg'gr,Yst 70 =
|air Of sky-co.orcd cse. ~ moonlight, in a
over fel6.'
The Chicago msn WHO stepped behind q
Alr OF mules that he i3,cndel 20 purchase,
ked with much feeling, vAel Ae " - picked
I 1t of the gutter "if tie derrick killed sny-
'bdy else"
Fu.pinste Is the name Of new explosive
fmpoCDd, sad 10 be far uo.e destructive
an nitro glyceliuG aad confidently recon-
ended TO FAMILIES, sss satisfactory substitute
T kerosene to klndls fires with.
In view Of the revelations that are being
sde concerning the cruelties prscticed on
.Nents III luhatic GSy .Ams there Is very little
couTasen.sut ior a person - 80 crazy.
Bows are Worn NOR. than ever now, and
&c is an object of pity that cannot afford one
the ha.r, the throat, each slipper, and
esh one for each Sunday night
--.--.-----
Mrs. John Baggs, Of Omaha lett Mr.. John
1gSs taking the money bags, and leaving
In to hold the little empty Bsggs.
Horse thieves will he pleased 70 learn that
5""mp crop"t Kentucky has been harvest
H. Chu he finest raised Cor year,
a.. ignorant young lady is defined to be
who does not know how ,a.ny dresses all
Z acquaintances have.
What is the difference BE-, zen fixed stars
shooting stars? The one IRE suns. the
Ter arc darters.
ApothecarelesSness il new word the pres.
generation has found it necessary TO IN.
lt.
The ctstilery ut Bellevile can't run for
ut OF water. The milk factories will probs.
close next
is now proposed to put nitro. glycerine
trunks 10 warn Daggagemen not TO use
N roughly.
tlartc Iowa) Young men hunt pra,ri-
kens with monkey-wrenches and such
pons, and handinls Of salt
-
disguised Kansas pioneer SAYS that Bar
mummy is "nothin' buta jerked lniun. )"
lestnut worms were never before 40 plump
palNsablc ms this season.
lily folks put out :heir wash.tubs to catch
water when it rains "hard."
70 female BARRIERS in Brussels show wo.
Is effort to razor self to independence.
pc boy who found wasp's nest, says arm. |
n splendid idea