Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1872-04-25
Facts and Fancies.

| ~~NIN-'S'
Doctors motto patients and long.
suffering.
excuse haste and bad PEN" as The
pig said when he broke out.
"Rattle and squeak" is the popular
name for ham and eggs in Kansas City.
Douglass Jerrold said eve ate the
apple that she might indulge in dress"
caught her softly by the arm,
Ny gentle blue eyod Kate;
She cried, Let go that arm, my dear,
| You hurt my yaccinsle"
In putting "the best foot forward"
always use the right, or else it will be
left.
The average salary of minister in
Denmark is $3.50 a year, and in Sweden
Sl10.
Shakspeare's beautiful definition OF
charity is, "gently to hear, kindly to
judge
A Wisconsin deaf man recovered his
bearing on being chased by mad dog,
it is said.
An old lady writing to her son, warns
him to beware of bilious saloons and
bowel alleys.
Dubuque merchants induce their Gus.
toners to come again by giving them
street car tickets.
There is but one good wife in the
world, and every happily welded man
thinks he has her.
"A piano manufacturer started, few
years since, with S75 and head NV
he's worth 100000.
The last California earthquake had the
effect of suddenly curing several lame
beggars iii San francisco.
A young lady sends in this +; How to
prevent chappy cheeks Have nothing
to do with cheeky chaps.
A Texas editor contends that an M.
G.. from the State has right to sell his
seat because "he bought it."
Marriages are most numerous in the
autumn. So it was in Eden the first
marriage was in the early fall.
A woman that marries man simply
because he il good match, must not be
surprised if he turns out Lucifer.
Ne two things differ more than hurry
and despatch. Hurry is the mark of o
weak mind, despatch of strong one,
Why is an elephant unlike O tree
Because a tree leaves III the spring, and
the elephant leaves when the menagerie
does.
frightened Mormons, instead OF seal
ing any number of new wives, are now
concealing the number Of wives they
have.
a printers toast Woman-the fair
est work in creation. The edition is
large, and no man should be without
copy"
1t is said that the light of match will
brighten n wolf; but love match some
times fails to keep the wolf from tho
door.
81 like to hear child cry" loosely
said an old bachelor. "Why q BE
cause then there is some hope of its be-
ing sent away"
They don't call it "goipg to see
man" in Rensselaer,, Ind, bnt always
"expect a letter." the post Office being
the hotel bar room.
Mamma. "Now take your medicine
like a good girl, and when you get well
III buy you nice dolly" Sick child
Please, ma, have it Dolly Warden"
In q curious breach Of promise case in
Ireland recently the counsel quoted the
following lines:
ItSiItin, in n had 1,oyn ri IN NV Ir,liapa
I.ozenges gave my -ipecaculnha."
The first bank was established in Italy
in 8US, by Lombard Jews, of whom some
settled in Lombard street, London,
where many banks have ever since been
located.
A negro thus philosophers and recs-
onizes with the white world "All men
are made OF clay, and, like meersrhaum
pipe, are more valuable when they are
highly colored."
A poetic writer in the Norwich Adrer-
User relieves his feelings thus "Wel-
come always, gracious and beautiful
Spring, mother of flowers, sister Of stars
and daughter of heaven !"
A stranger meeting a man in the
streets of Boston, roughly accosted him
WITH "Here, | want to go to the Ire
mont House !" The deliberate reply
was: "Woll, you can 60 if you won't
be long gone"
Angelina, my angel, can you tell mo
why your lovely eyes are like friends
separated by distant climes p "No,
Augustus. 1 can't. Tell me, oh tell mo
why they're thus" "Pecause they cor
respond, but never meet"
A girl being asked if she had not once
been engaged to "a party by the name
of Jackson, who was at the time Har-
ward student, languidly replied, 81 re-
member the circumstance perfectly, but
am not certain about the name"
The local editor OF Jacksonville paper
wrote an Item to the effect that Winter
was lingering in the lap of Spring" but
the managing editor cut it out. He said
the idea was good enough, and original,
and all thatsort OF thing, bnt it would not
do to publish, because the high moral
tone of the paper had to be maintained
in town full OF seminary girls.
1t is said that whenever IN applicant
for a situation as brakeman appears at
the Office OF the Michigan Central Rail-
road, an official shouts up through the
speaking tube and makes the INJURY:
ANY brakeman killed lately ?" 1t has
a strange effect. The applicant sudden
y concludes that he is not entirely fitted
for the situation, and silently retires.