The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1872-07-02

The following extract from the Lou
isville Courier is a gem in its way;
"The New York Sun, which is seldom
satisfied with things, objects to the
proportions of rattle-snake recently
seen in Carter County, in this State,
and described as reaching from one
side Of the road to the other, while its
body was as big as an ordinary churn.
The Sun says that was very badly
proportioned snake, and that it
should have been a good deal longer
or else a good deal thinner We
should like to know who is running
the snakes of this State, herself or the
editor of the New York Sun. When
things come to such pass that New
York arrogates to herself to dictate to
Kentucky the size and shape of her
serpents, it is high time for the trum
pet to sound to arms and for the sword
to leap from its scabbard."
A few days ago a couple of Boston
runners entered restaurant in Port
land and ordered dinner. One was
pleased to order a plate of baked
beans. When he came to settle he
asked the price, and was informed
that forty cents would be satisfactory.
The runner was astonished, and ex-
claimed-"Isn't that HI of price
for beans?" The man of grub got
mad, and said that was the price and
that must be paid. The runner re.ut-
tered the same pious exclamation of
astonishment several times and paid
the scot. On going out of the door
he turned and yelled it again, but the
bean man was silent. The next day
the restaurant keeper received a dis
patch and paid the telegraph boy for
ty cents. Judge, if you can, of his
utter disgust when upon opening it he
read. "Isn't that hi of price for
beans ?"-Bangor Commercial.
We have a little story for boys with
a nice moral TO it, Little Johnny
Moore, away out in Monroe, Mich,
went to picnic last week, and like a
foolish little boy that he was, tried to
smoke cigar. 1t made him sick, of
course, and he threw himself on the
wet grass and lay there a long time.
The result was he had congestive chills
and died. 1t is sad story, and the
moral is-that you can go to picnics
if your parents are willing, but you
had better not try to smoke cigars,
and by all means don't lie on the wet
grass.
There seems to be an unusual ankle.
| ty nowadays to save the lives of mur-
derers. The minions of the law will
neither compass their death nor allow
them the privilege of doing it them
selves. A wretch in Peoria, Illinois,
who had slain one wife and obtained
another in Kentucky, tried to poison
himself few days ago, but was pre-
vented. His wife had kindly furnish
ed him with dose of corrosive subli-
mate, but was disappointed by the
meddling officers.
A simple, practical test is given in
the american Artisan to test the purity
Of coffee By which many adulterations
Of that article can easily be detected,
even if the taste is not a sure index.
If a teaspOonful Of genuine ground
coffee be thrown into a tumblerful of
cold water, it will float upon the sur
face. Most substances used in adul,
terng coffee will sink at once.
A printer, having been "Aung" by
his sweet heart, tried to commit suicide.
The "devil" found him out and took
him to the sanctum where the editor
was writing duns to delinquent sub
scribers. The picture of despair pre-
sented by the editor reconciled the
printer to his fate. He began to con.
slider himself as comparatively happy.
A New Fairfield man who failed to
get thirty cent pine apple for quar-
ter of a dollar, wanted to know
whether we are breathing the pure
air of freedom, or being strangled with
the fetid breath Of a hellish despot-
ism?' The storekeeper said those
were the only pine apples he had.
An aged couple in a village reprov-
ed young man for familiarities with
their daughter, when he thus to them
did make reply: "Well, you needn't
be so bouney about it, we've been mar.
ried year,
An ingenious youth, in Quincy, H.,
has been doing thriving trade in sell
ing rats tails, planted in flower pots,
to unsophicated florists, as specimens
of new species of cactus.
A Kansas paper in reporting trial,
concludes with "the jury returned Il
verdict of not guilty, but if the pris-
oner is sharp, he will leave town with.
out loss Of time
A city missionary was asked the
cause Of his poverty. Principally"
said he, with a twinkle of the eye,
"because / have preached so much
without notes"
There are two reasons Why soma