The Van Buren press., 1872-03-12
The Child's Pocket Etiquette. in Ten
Commandments.

you. 0oou hIRHt. 0oou morning NeF'
Say How, or Which for What U@ no
slang tsrn.s. Remember that good spell
Ing. reading, writing aud grammar ars the
iass Of all true education.
2 Clean faces, clean clothes. clean
shoes and clean finger nais indicate 'ood
breeding. Never leave yonr clothes about
the room Have . place for everything.
and every thing in its place.
3. Rap before entering . room, and
never leave il with your back to the com
pany. Never enter private room or pub
lie place with your cap on
I. Always offer your seat to a lady or
old gentleman. Let your companions en-.
Ter the carrisge or room frat.
5. At tho table eat with your fork .it
mp straight; never use your tooth-p,ck.
(sltbough Europeans do, aud when lsav-
ing ask to be excused.
6. Never put your feo, OH cushioned
chairs and tables,
Z. Never overlook any one when read
ing Or writing. nor talk or read aloud
while others are reading. Whom convess
ing listen attentively, and do no, interrupt
or reply till the other is fn,-hci
8. Never talk or whisper aloud at
church or other public gatherings and cs
pscially in private room where any ono
ssinging or playing the piano.
8. Loud coughing, hawking. yawning,
saeszing, blowing, is i'll manneied. In
every ease cover your month with you
handkerchief (Which never examine
nothing is mole vulgar, except splitting
ON the floor.
10. Tea; all with respect especially
the poor. Bo careful to injure no one )
feelings by unkind remarks. Never tell
tales, make faces, call names, ridicule the !
lame OF colored, mimic the unfortunate. or
bs cruel to insects, birds or animals --
Woods Household Magozins,
ALI MIXED UP.--A certain witncss in
an assault and battery snit We once heard
mixel up things considerably, in giving
his account of the affair. After relating
how Deunis come to him, he proceeded;
$50 yer honor. ! jus. hauled on and |
wiped his jaw Just then his dog como
along. and hit him agaiu"
"Hit the dog!
"No, yer honor, hit Dennis And then
up with q stun and throwsd i. at him,
snt rallied him over and over. F"
Threw a stono at Dennis?"
Al the deg. yer honor And hs got
pp and hit me again.
"'rhc dog T.
mo, Dennis And with ,hs. he stack
hi. tail between his legs aud run Of y
Dennis =
"No, tho dog And when he came back
At me he got me down and pounded me, yer
honor "
"Ths dog came back styou y
mo, Dennis. yer honor. and hs ism,
hurt any vt sll
"Who i.n't hurt ~
"Thc dog. yer honor.
- Short crops s--convicls hair.
- Indian ressrvation-scslps,
- A crack corps-ths burglars.
- \ bath for svsryboiy--thc Sab
bath.
- Vegetable philosophy al-
vice
- A srsrpirs fellow--the school.
- A woman being asked Whs, was
her husbands occupation, said he was en-.
gagged in " finishing. ltwas subsequent
" ascertained that il was q term ia the
peni,oatiary to which she referred.
- A bald.headcd mar, whose father
is bald headed, has just had his int baby,
and finding no hair on The top o! its head,
has evolved all interesting theory, with il.
lastratious Of " hereditary badness
- A gentleman having Just lost bis
wife visited friend and being asked how
long he would remain in town, answered
"Oh, for about a fortnight--lons enough
to spead ,ha honey moon Of my widow.
hood.
------ A woman raised to the third pow.
or Of widcwhood has the photographs Of
her three departed lords in group. with
vigncue Of herself in the centre. and undsis
noAlh is ,hs inscription. Tho Lc,d will
provide"
- A little s.x year old COY WAS ask.
ell BY his teacher to write aycompositicn on
the subject Of water, and the following is
the production /" Water is good to
drink, 10 swim in, and to skate on when
frozen. When was little baby. the
nurse used to battle mo every morning in
water. Ihays been told that the injuns
don't wash themselves but once in ten
years. l wish Was an injun +
- A New York paper says Miss
Nilsson attended mistletoe party at the
house Of Mira. Paran Stevens, IN this city.
on Now Years night. Mistetoe branches
we're hung ever the doors, but the ladies
we're ehary OF passing under thcm. or did
10 nnpsrceived The gentleman guests in
despair broke the twigs and sna,chei kiss
% while holding tbem over the young la
dies heads. The beautiful p,ima donna
was an especial obiec; Of affection. Es
sfyholy wanted ts kiss her. Unconscious
Of missletos peculiarly she passsa oSder
doorway anil wss first embraced by young
Epglishmsn named Bassett. She was
vtssh at,hs liberty, and slapped his face
He explained his con,hict. and the hostess
rorroborstsl him. Matters then cooled
lawn. Az last . ysuSg man ssixea her
BY tie wsiAt. held sprig aloft. and 70.
,ained her till several Of his friends had
-