The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1872-06-21

A Husband who Couldn't Appreciate the
Dolly YardenS.

Dolly fafuenS.
Husbands are to be mistaken in dolly
Warden" dresses, as was an unfortunate
husband in Philadelphia, the sooner the
fashion is squelched the better will it be
for the peace of society. The husband in
question one night missed from the supper
table his wife Matilda, and inquired of his
little boy whittier she had gone, and just
at that moment the dining room door
opened and lady entered. The husband
observed wild look in her eye, and also
noticed that she was attired in an outland-
ish style, having on as he says, dress with
suntlowers, and cabbages, and pumpkins
worked all over it, and lot of snakes
squirming round for back ground.
Rising, the man said, MADAM, who do
you wish to see2" and then said aside,
Poor thing she's crazy That last remark
settled the business for him, as the weird
female made a bolt and tightly grasped his
Adams apple, and choked him until his
face assumed the color of banner of the
Commune. After she had enjoyed a sur
felt of choking her husband she Topped in
to chair, and with tears coursing each
other down her cheek, exclaimed "That
| should ever live to hear my husband say
band and, elevating himself to his full pro
portions, he said:
"You can't blame me, madam, for sup
posing you an insane woman, and now that
| know you are really the mother of these
interesting children, will you have the
kindness to retire to the sanctity of your
chamber and peel yourself of that piece of
furniture chintz, or window curtain, or
whatever it is you call 2"
"Window curtain chintz!" said the
spouse; why, it's you that's out of your
head. That's Dolly Warden, and very
pretty pattern, too"
| MADAM" replied the husband, tive may
be out of our head, but if that is Dolly
| Warden, we are most decidedly out of our
pocket Why, it looks like circus dress
and the idea of a woman at your time of
| life"
"My time of life"
"Yes, your time oflife. The next thing,
l suppose, you will be practicing the trap
exc act in the back yard. Why, it is en-
ough to give man the delirium hemens to
look it. Who ever saw such pattern ?
Its flash wallpaper run >mad. You look
exactly like some japanese tea-sign. And
now just bounce out here with that Feejee
battle flag, or you'll scare the baby to
DEATH"
There was an ominous pause for a mo-
ment, and then the eldest daughter said:
"Why, you ought to be ashamed ofyour-
SELF father. It's all the style and am 60
ing to have one, too, there now" Yes, and
1 want one, all the girls have got them."--
Thus spoke Maria, the second eldest. "Any
morn q, ueepo1 tho hnaban6. Haro thorn
any more2" Hadn't the baby better have
one9 1 guess I'll get one myself How
do they make up for pantaloons9 Ha! ha
ha Economically. Let me have Dolly
Warden. Let me clutch it. Bring me a
pattern of monkeys scaling lamp-posts.-
How would Chinese puzzle look, or a
map of Fairmont Park" All the rest is a
blank. The unhappy husband has just
been liberated from an asylum, and pro-
nounced cured. But the only way they
managed it was to dress him up in a Dolly
Warden, marked out with the ground plan
of the streets of Boston.