The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1872-12-14
Humorous.

When it goes out at night.
IFa Bedouin should lose his teeth,
would he talk gum Arablc2
PUNCH has found man too lazy to
labor under an impression.
IL seven days make one week, how
many will make one strong5
A WOMAN who tells fortunes from
teacup need not be a sauceress.
THE man who was filled with emotion
hadn't room for his dinner.
The feast CT imagination--Having
10 dinner, but reading cookery book.
A LAWYER IS not like an apothecary
because he does not deal i'll scruples.
NEVER laugh at man with pug
nose you don't know what may turn
up.
Why are women more economical
than men? Because their sCoist is
smaller.
You don't often hear of policemen
being run oyer-they are never in the
way.
If a topper and a quart of whisky
were left together which would be
drunk first p?
SAILORS are not necessarily making
plumduff when they are stemmlng the
currents.
The book to which reference is most
frequently made now q days-The peck
et-bOOk.
WHEN is Photographic album like
an old fashioned china shop? When
it is full of ugly mugs.
CAN a civil engineer inform us how
it is that the mouth of rivers re''larger
than their heads?
A YOUNG subscriber wants to know if
it is better to hide your savings or save
your hidiDgs.
WHY is a CANDLE maker the worst and
most hopeless of men?-Because all
| his wicked works are brought to light.
A MATTER-oF-FACr Danburian being
asked if he saw Rubinstein when IN
New York vacantly responded, "Why
no. was he looking for me?'
WE are much obliged to DR.. Bly, for
a circular descriptive of artificial limbs.
It is pleasant to be remembered by
strangers.
A POOR but honest young lady, who
earns living by working on hoop
skirts in reply to an inquiry, stated
that she had spent the summer cat the
springs"
A GUSHING poet asks in the first line
of recent etfusion, Glow many weary
pilgrims lie?" We give it up, but ex-
perience has taught us that there are
good many.
"WHAT are you doing there, you ras-
cal ;" Merely taking cold, sir" cit
looks to me as if you were stealing ice. ;"
Well-yes-perhaps it will bear
that construction.
"BRUDDER DEAN" said colored ell
der to his white pastor, "cawn't ye
preach once without SIGH talk about
lynn and stealin', an Civ us one day to
real comfortin' religion y
An editor says his ancestors have
been in the habit of living hundred
years His opponent responds by say
ing that "that was before the introduce
ton of capital punishment.
SOME ingenious observer has discov-
cred that there is a remarkable resem-
blance between a baby and wheat,
since it is Graded, then threshed, and
finally becomes the flower of the family.
WHERE does this horse car run2"
said an old gentleman from the country
to boot-black. Dunno" said the
imp of the backing bottle, "the boss
es runs at the nose
A RURAL contemporary remarks
"The yellow pumpkin lies golden on
the hillsides in the country" The
poetry of that remark induces pie-ous
thoughts.
A CONTRIBUTOR wishes our comments
on some lines commencing
"Our country's Tyres are mute"
We can only say that the election be-
ing over, we suppose the "lyre's" oc-
cupation is gone.
WHEN the London Punch offers such
as this as a prize puzzle, almost any
| body may embark III the business /:
"Why would novel written 10y Charles
Reade and any other fellow be like
pitch? Be ,ause it would be Btu
men,"
UNCLE L" Now, Sammy, tell me,
have You read the beautiful story of
Joseph % Sam Yes, uncle - I'm
cIe-"What wrong did they do when
| they sold their brother2" Sam
''They sold him too cheap, uncle,
| think.
"ANswERs to correspondents: :" "To
M. j. M.-We must decline to print
your poem on "A Drowned Boy" In
the first verse you speak of your sub.
iect as floating on the water, and III
the second as lying on his bier
| Which is it, water or bier?
A SOUTH street iuebriate whipped his
wife Saturday morning, and came home
drunk Saturday night. His wife hav-
ing no Goals of fire to heap on his head
| poured his ear full of pepper sauce.
He appeared to be just az we'll satisfied.
Ddnbuy Nc,0s.
A POET asks "Where are the dead.
| the vanished dead, who trod the earth
that now we tread 2" If we were to
make random guess, we should say
the most of them are buried-though
this may not be the right answer
NOTristOsOp Herald
A PAPER recently alluded to a man
as battle-scared veteran The com
position was so agitated when the edi-
tor made him correct it that he chang
ed it to "bottle scared" veteran. And
still the veteran in question was not
satisfied.
HERE we have a good example of
French wit: GA doctor, like everybody
else at this season went ont for q doyss