Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1872-03-07
Facts and FarcIcS.

chicago has 1881 saloons, OF Whlch
600 have no license.
Why does q donkey cat thistle ?
this puzzle you.) Because he's an ass.
All the difference-Th ancients urned
their dead, the moderns earn their living.
Two absurd young men want to be
admitted to Vassar College because il is
leap year.
The average age of American clergy
men who died last year was a fraction
over 6l years.
What is birth to man, if it shall be
stain to his dead ancestors to have left
such an offspring?
Why might carpenters really believe
there is no such thing as stone ? Be
cause they never saw it.
Why is man never knocked down
against his will ? Because it is impossi-
BILE to fall unless inclined.
Alaska is wetted by rain 240 days in
the year, and dampencd by fogs nearly
100 of the remaining 1875 days.
A writer from the African diamond
fields says he attended dance where
he saw sign which read No gentle
man admitted without pants.
Nearly two thousand miles of irrigSt-
ing canals have been projected in Cali
foInia, which, it is said, will protect ten
million acres of land from drought.
A little girl asked her sister what was
chaos, that her papa read about? The
other replied, at was a great pile of
nothing, and no place to put it in"
"What should you be, dearest" said
Walter to his sweetheart, eff | was to
press the seal Of love upon those sealing
wax lips ?" 81 should be stationary.
A married lady complained that her
husband had ill-used her. Her father,
hearing it, boxed her ears. "Tell him
said the father if he beats my daughter
| will beat his wife" Rather pleasant
prospect for the lady.
Petrifed trees have been found in a
bog at Waterford, vt. In two instances,
one huge pine stump was found resting
upon another, indicating that the latter
tree grew after the first had fallen, the
seed having been deposited on its stump.
We have always thought, says the New
York Express, that the ladies might have
their ear rings of some practical value,
especially in travelling, if, for instance,
they would wear a good-sized valise in
one ear, and an ordinary lunch-basket
in the other.
A woman applied to magistrate the
other day for warrant against neigh
Dor, saying, "She called me thief,
your honor. Can't I make her prove
it ?" perhaps you cam" quietly re-
Piled the magistrate, "but if L were
you I wouldn't do it,"
A Sheboygan wisconsin, woman en-
tered a saloon the other evening where
her husband was carousing, and after
expostulating with broomstick to the
barkeeper and two or three other men in
the place, soundly whaled her husband,
and then led him home by the collar,
Says an Illinois paper: During the
cold weather the city editor OF the Jack
sonville Journal froze his ears about o
foot deep. They are to be amputated
at the second Joint, but his many friends
will be rejoiced to know that, in spite OF
the accident, he still has an ample stock
for all the purposes of his position.
A young Frenchman, who has been
discovered in Utica in a condition of
insanity from disappointed love, has the
peculiar freak of insisting that he is
guilty of passing counterfeit money. He
offered genuine greenbacks to several
persons, and then attempted to get him,
self arrested for "shoving the queer
At a school concert the pastor, who
prided himself on the quickness and
cleyerness of his little ones, said, Boys,
when heard your beautiful song to
night, [ had to work hard to keep my
feet STILL Now what do you think was
the matter with them?" The answer
came with great promptness, "Chlll-
blainth !"
The physician attending young lady,
who had her entire scalp taken OF by
the machinery in a button factory at
Naugatuck, nearly year ago, IS replac-
ing the skin by transplanting pieces OF
skin from other parts of her body and
from other persons. Three-fifths OF the
wounded surface is all eady very success
fully covered.
A Cincinnati woman lately bailed her
husband out of the station-house, where
too much indulgence in the flowing bowl
had sent him, with the proceeds of her
hair, which was unusually long and beau
tiiul. He on his part grieved so much
at his faithful wife's surrendering her
beauty for his sake, procured divorce,
and is expected to marry another woman
at an early day.