Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1872-01-31
A Story of Nevada Bummers In New York
BY MARK TWAIN,

..r BY MARK TWAIN.
Mark Twain thus describes the expert
ence of two Nevada chaps, Jack and jim,
who having made some money, went to
New York to see the sights. They want
ell to take ride so they got into an om-
nibus.
"Ain't it gay. though? Oh !5no, reck-
Oh not. Cushions, windows and pictures till
you can't rest. What would the boys say
if they could see what swell we are cut
ting in New York? BY George! / wish
they could see us. ...-..-f
Then he put his head out of the window,
and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits NE suits
yours truly, you bet you | want this She
bang all day. I'm on it, old man Let'em
out! Make 'em go. Well make it all
right to you, sonny ~
The driver passed his hand through the
stray-hole, and tapped for his fare-it was
before the gongs came into common use.
Colonel Jack took the hand and shook it
cordially. He said:
"You twig me, old pard All right be-
tween gents. Smell of that and see how
you like it,
And he put twenty-doIIar gold piece in
the drivers hand. After a moment the
driver said he could not make the change.
Bother the change Ride out. Put
it in your pocket"
Then to Colonel jim with sounding
slap on his thigh
"Ain't it style, though? Hanged if /
don't hire this thing, every day for
week. ="
The omnibus stopped and young lady
got in. Colonel Jack started for mo-
ment, then nudged Colonel Jim with his
elbow. -. ..-.......-.
DONE say word, y he whispered. Let
her ride, if she wants to. Gracious, there's
room enough, :"
The young lady got out her porte-mon-
naie, and handed her fare to Colonel Jack.
whats this for" he asked.
Give to the driver, please''s fs-
''Take back your money, madame. We
can't allow it. You are welcome to ride
It's long as you please, but the shebang is
chartered; we shan't let you pay a cent
The girl sank into corner hewildered.
An old lady with basket climbed in, and
prOftered her fare.
"Excuse me-" said Colonel Jack. "Iou
are perfectly welcome here, madame,
but we can't allow you to pay. Sit right
down there, mum, and don't feel the least
uneasy. Make yourself as free as if you
were in your own turnout" J" o. .,.,-F, IN
Within two minutes three gentlemen,
two fat women and couple Of children
entered.
Come right along, friends" said Colo
nel Jack don't mind us. This is free
blow-out.pIThen he whispered to Colonel
Jim, New York amt no sociable place
I don { reckon it amt no name for it,
He resisted every effort to pass fares to
the driver and made everybody cordially
welcome. The situation dawned upon the
people, and they pOcketed their money,
and delivered themselves up to covert en-
joyment of the episode. Half dozen
more passengers entered.
"Oh, there's plenty of room, said Co
lionel Jack walk in and make yourselves
comfortable. \ blowout aim worth any
thing. Then in whisper to Colonel Jim:
But amt these New Workers friendly?
And amt they cool about it, too? Ice
bergs amt anywhere. ! reckon they'd
tackle a hearse, ifit was going their way.
More passengers got in; more yet, and
still more. Both seats were filled, and a
file of men were standing up holding OH
10 the cleats overhead. Parties with blan-
kets and bundles were climbing up on the
roof Half-suppressed laughter rippled up
from all sides. gEfv
"Well, for clean, cool, out-and-out cheek,
if this don't bang anything that ever !
saw, I'm an 1njun.H whispered Colonel
Jack.
\ Chinaman crowded his way i'll. /
~ weaken,n said Colonel Jack. Hold
on, driver. Keep your seats, ladies and
gents. Just make yourselves free-every
things paid for. Driver, rustic these folks
around as long as they're mind to go
friends of ours, you know. Take them
everywhere, and if you want more money
come to the st. Nicholas and We'll make it
all right. Pleasant journey to you, ladies
and gents; go it as long as you please-it
shant cost you cent"
The two comrades got out, and Colonel
Jack said: -.--..-,. .-..
"Jimnly, it's the soeiahlest place L ever
saw. The Chinaman waltZed in as COM
Portable as anybody. If we'd staid a
while l reckon we'd had some niggers.
By George, we'll have to barricade our
doors tonight, or some of these ducks will
be trying to sleep with US