The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-04-04
A Word About HOme-Training.

To be good and disagreeable, is high
treason against virtue" yet how many
people expect an agreeable manner will
come of itself, or else think nothing
about it and take no care to make their
ways pleasing to those about them The
most tiresome, disagreeable people have
no idea that theyaar so, and our dislike
to their society is5often caused by little
things entirely in their power to avoid
on correct, little things by which they
themselves are annoyed when practiced
by others. Handsome is that hand
some does" too often is interpreted to re-
fer to schat is done, not hoeo it is done.
1t should meanboth. %"
Household training should include the
culture of manner and taste. No one
wishes to see affectations and artificial
ways in children, but we make mistake
if Eve suppose they will always be agree
able If they are simply natural. Nature
in the ideal is charming; nature in the
real life of common humanity is often
uncouth and unattractive, and needs to
be carefully trained into ways of beauty.
Appetites and propensities are indulg-
ed in uncouth and selfish ways, and ig-
norance and bashfulness and curiosity
form awkward and rude habits Now
and theu we meet a rare and gracious
nature, which in childhood and maturi-
ty is pleasing in all its outdoings, but
few people have that inward beauty and
outward grace which make the unre-
strained expression of themselves always
agreeable to another. We have little
peculiarities, obliquities, physical defects,
personal habits, which obtrude them
selves unpleasantly unless we keep guard
over them. We are not naturally I'M
selfish; we have not sympathetic judg-
ment, quick perceptions, and tact that
is keen and TENDER so that we may trust
to our instincts to make us winning and
agreeable in our intercourse with 9TH
ers. How many talk necessarily with
out questioning whether others enjoy it
How many are silent and moody with
out recognition of any social claims
How few are thoughtful to avoid touch
ing roughly another's sensitive points,
to be tender of their weaknesses, and
considerate of their egotisms Sugges-
tions, cautions, and restraints must be
continually used in the home education
to form the "second nature" which shall
be as unaffected as that of the untrain-
ed child, and far more unselfsh and at
tractive. Some things must be repress-
ed, others developed, the tastes and COM
fort Of other people must be studied to
create such spirit within, and manifest
its outgoings in such ways that cour-
teous, considerate bearing shall be a
natural expression, that the forms and
graces of manner shall be as spontanc-
Gus as the kindly feeling.
A winsome address, pleasant tones,
genial feelings, responsive thoughts, are
well worth cultivating. They consti-
tute the sweetness of politeness. 1t is a
wondrous power, the power to make
another happy. Rightly trained and
used, it develops a personal influence
wide and strong, marvellous force, CEN
tered in the individual, and radiating in
ever-increasing circles.
The desire to please may degenerate
into personal vanity and selfish love of
admiration, but sanctifed by Christian
consecration it rises into "a heavenly
grace.
1t is shame to Christian households
that it is often urged as a reason for
sending children to dancing-schools
that they may improve in manners and
learn how to appear in society" Is
there no refined and gracious woman
hood, no gentle and courteous manhood,
no good breeding in the household
Are there no polite social forms, no eti-
quette, culture, and taste, in Christian
homes: Shall the children go out to
the world to learn the forms of that char
ity, gentleness, forbearance, and unself-
ishness which are the essentials of the
Christian character they seek to attain
Many good people ignore the necessi-
ty of painstaking in this direction. They
even think the desire or effort to be
pleasing is sin or weakness. They
think it is sufficient if they are good.
Such should study the beauty of holi-
ness. Goodness must seek agreeable
forms of expression virtue must wear a
winning face and clothe itself in the
garb of gracious manners. Because one
Is earnest and sincere, he has no right to
be rude and uncouth. There are bar
riers behind which individual reserve
hides ITSELF there are secret places where
reticence guards the entrance. We may
ilOG IcIt uuWCl-
come. Another's personality must be
recognized, social formalities must be re-
membered, the restraints of common po-
liteness must be observed in our Chris
tian zeal. The good man, because he is
good, has no right to set these aside.
The Christian should not except him
self from anything that makes the true
gentleman or lady. He, above all 9th
ers, should feel nObLeSse OJlige. t...
We shudder at the .barbarous code of
honor which settled personal matters
with sword or pistol; but it is pity we
do not hold more Loyalty a chivalrous
fealty to true honor and knightliness
of character. We do not wish to be
taught how to maintain respect for our
selves and for our neighbor at the mouth
of pistol, but we ought to learn it
nevertheless. at
A better code the Apostle gives us in
both duty and motive: "Let every one
of us please his neighbor for his good to
edification. ."-HearM and Home.