The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-02-16
Che Irmorrat.
......-FEBRUARYle,l 1872.
sCFSSoRfNGs.

A Georgia editor has o fearfully
earitating article on mules.
The Philadelphians tried to per-
suade Alexis to be vaccinated.
The wisest of men must be totally
out of latitude-at the equator.
The faster a man starts into life
the ooner he gets into a hobble.
London Flora McFlimseys prone
made the streets in 81 ,000 dresses.
Victor Emanuel doesn'tallow bores
to hunt bin. He prefers to huntthe
boars.
Why is a wax candle like a conten-
ted man? Because it never wants
muffin.
A Philidelphian was arrested and
held in 5000 bail for stealing two
umbrellas.
A passenger on one of the New
York ferry boats lately sneezed him.
self overheard.
Two Connecticut girls Amounted
their chapped lips with croton oil, by
mistake for glycerine.
A Kentucky farmer refused to buy
q sewing machine-''he sowed his
wheat out of a bucket"
The consumption of coal is on the
increase in Virginia-since the mines
in that State caught fire.
Mr.. Cobb has married Miss Webb.
He knew that they were meant to be
joined as soon as he spied her.
We know a man, moving in good
society, who has laughed so much in
his sleeve that it is quite worn out.
Mutual admirations-As the sea-
son of parties approaches boys begin
to feel gallant and ''gals" buoyant.
What is the difference between a
hill and a pill? One is hard to get
up and the other is hard TOUCHDOWN.
A good drain on a farm-Heavy
mortgage at 10 per cent, will drain it
about as rapidly a S anything we know
of.
Five thousand girls of Grand Rap.
ids. Michigan, bought copies of a
book teaching the science of firta-
ton.
A musical friend thinks that the
first piece of music performed by
Adam must have been "Warbling at
Eve"
How to make a dull fellow lively:
Marry him to a girl named Annie,
when. of course, he becomes Annie
mated.
Hood said he was forced to make
broad grins under narrow circum-
stances, and to be a lively Hood for a
livelihood.
A Nebraskan thought he would I'M
dertake to charm a snake, but soon
resigned in favor of a professional
undertaken.
Why is a hungry boy looking at a
pudding like a wild horse? Because
he would be all the better if he had
a bit in his mouth.
The stabb;ng Of a step-father is
called by an English paper "a pain
full case" The step-tather doubtless
regarded it as such.
A rural paper remarks: "Cold
nights have put a stop to gate spark
ing. If she dosen't ask you to come
in now, you had better quit"
A Missouri youth named Hender-
son squandered a fortune Of $780,
900, by gambling, in less than four
years, and is now absolutely penni-
less.
A woman's temper may be told by
her handwriting. it is said, and her
good taste and breeding may be easier
ascertained by the kind of perfume
she uses.
More men grow old from having
nothing to do, than over-work. The
running machine will keep bright for
years-the idle machine will soon
rust out.
Ann to 'Idzzie-Well, there, I am
surprised at master 'avin' seven men
ere at work, and not one cookbook.
in un amongst 'eml He did oughtel
be 'shamed of ITSELF.
The number of persons at New
York who met a violent death in1S7:
foots up, 1,314, against 1921 the
year before, an average of twenty
five a week, almost four a day.
Mr.. Julian Hawthorne, son of tn
novelist, doesn't follow his father
bent. He has mastered the profes
sion of civil engineer. and is abou
to pursue his calling in Louisiana.
1t has been decided in a Virgins
court that taking apples from a ire
at midnight and putting them in
bag for the purpose of carving then
away, is not larceny but only tres
pass.
A Nebraska married man, VIII
eloped with a young, girl, was pur
sued, knocked down, beaten and re
taken by his indignant wife. FL
has gone out of the elopement bust
less.
Money is plenty in Germany an.
rapidly drifting into American secu
rites. Germany will next year, re
deem thirty millions sterling of wa
loans, half of it in January and Feh
ruary.
George Hudson, the "Railwa
King" formely welded an immens
influence, but his death attracted S
little notice that even a mention c
it was not sent to this country b
cable.
Rev. Olympia Brown is now upo