American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-09-07
Miss Missions Mattress.


The sempiternal ass has lifted his ears at
the auction sale of the furniture of the
Mills House, at Charleston. South Caro-
lima and brayed a bid of $50 for the mat
tress on which Nilsson had slept for one
night only, while others quite as good,
though less distinguished only realized
IS each.
has become Injured. Men, being men,
will always experience the relic madness.
Not that there is anything especially
harmful in the disease. 1t generally at
tacks those who can afford it, and so Is less
reprehensible than drinking or gambling.
One rarely hears of man pawnng his
wife's wedding ring and taking the bread
out of his children's mouths to satisfy an
unhallOwed thirst for the napkin with
which Nilsson removed the traces of her
third plate of pork and beans from her
tunefui lips. 1t is more lunacy than a
madness in these inferior manifestations,
and occasionally rises to a real sublimity
in its higher degrees, as when a single tat
tered book. like the famous ''DecamerOn,'
sets two noble lords by the ears and pro-
duces a bid of more than thirteen thousand
dollars. There is madness and madness,
and it is difficult to say with precision
where the line is to be drawn and relic
hunting be declared ridiculous and not
legitimate. a single tooth of the first
Napoleon has caused lively competition
so has the axe with which a particularly
atrOciOuS murder was committed, or the
rope by which it was avenged. These
relics may be considered legitimate; of
their authenticity there can be no doubt.
and certain interest, whether historical
or morbid, attaches to them. But when
| it comes 10 disputing for the cherry
stones which fall from the Grand Dukes
| desert-plate, or the mattress on which 4
prima donna was offered as victim to
the South Carolina cin,er lectutarius. the
| limit of good taste is exceeded, the relic is
ridiculous. and the relic-hunter is an ass.
| For let us reason together. What proof
is there that Nilsson did sleep on that
mattress at all? None but the assurance
of the auctioneer, proverbially poor
| warranty i'll all matters where the sale OF
a horse, picture, a suburban lot or a rel
| ic is concerned. The fair Christine may
| have sat at the window all night, gain g
at the moon, and inditing wOful ballads to
the eyebrow of RojIZand, the beau. Even
if she did occupy the bed, she may, in Il
fit of jealousy, inspired by the reflection
that Miss Cary had been applauded or had
looked well, have thrown herself on the
outside of the coverlet las girls do in nov
els.) and passed the night in tears, and
with her hair up. Or, conccding every
thing, if she did occupy that bed, as beds
are usually occupied, what earthly inter
est did the mattress possess? There,
| doubtless, are such things as sheets i'll
South Carolinian hotels, whose existence
would materially reduce the value of the
mattress as Il relic. The mattress which
was touched by the sheets, which came
| in contact with the wrapper which was
/ worn by Nilsson,- is hardly more valuable
as a relic than the fork belonging to the
knife with which Peg Nicholson wanted
! to kill King George. 1t is earth from the
garden, but very far from the rose.
| IfpeOple of the sort of that mOnopo-
lizer of mattresses abound in Charleston,
| the proprietor of the Mills House has a
gold mine at hand. IT virtue be found in
/ the mattress on which was laid the sheet
which was touched by the night-dress
which envelOped Nilsson, some must per-
/ tain to the springs that supported the
mattress. TO the frame from whence as
cended the springs. to the >.astors which
| bore the frame, to the carpet which was
| touched by the castOrs. to the floor under
the carpet, to the walls supporting the
| floor, and so on, till we run into the
ground under the foundation that upbore
the walls. Nasir-ed-Deen's duck soup.
made by dipping crust into a duck-pond,
! was not more thin.
But having the mattress, what will the
purchaser do with it? TO sleep on it would
| be to prOfane it to sleep on it mi ght l,e
/ impossible, being, as it is. a hotel mat
| tress. 1t would not make Il good chin
ney ornament, nor, even if framed, adorI
wall. The only hope that can now be
seen for his utilizing it is..found in the pre-
vailing fashion in iewelry. The time may
come-and judging from the jewellers
windows will come sOon-when he can
wear the mattress for breastpin and the
pillows as sleeve buttons.-Missouri Dem
|