The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1872-03-16
8. A. ON DANCING.
BY BEENUS.

master Of the art of dancing, and have acquired
the right to attach to our name "Beemus' the
letters "B. D." which means Boss Dancist."
OF late, the air has been full of rumors to the
effect that the old settlers Of Serena; that pious,
high, moral-high low-j acknowledgements
Element, had been attacked by fearful mania
called Dancing on the Brain." 1t is said that
stsd, pious, old covey, John D., WAS first
seized with the disease. 1t came on with the
| following symptoms, which seem uniform in
every case. First the victim, male or female,
feels an intolerable lightness in the feet, then
something like spring halt, get into the legs.
The feet cannst be kept On the floor or ground,
| and asy attempt to walk results in spqsmodic
leaping, kicking or swsying to and fro of the
! body. All this is succeeded by loud and bois-
| ferrous laughter. The patient, il man, will
repair to the barn privately, sweep OFF spot
few yards square, and then dance until exhaust.
ed, while the old lady will shoe it down in the
| kitchen, around the churn. and the children will
| waltz and schottische in the back yard
John d. gave it to Mark and Chas. H., and
they gave it to the entire neighborhood, as like
the small pox, it Is catching"
J One Of these ancient and respectable lsvericks
called upon John B. They found him in the
woods, near his farm, to which he hiss since
retired to remain for the next ak months"
John was chopping at the time. The old settler
approached. The old gentleman came up on a
waltz and gallop mixed, aud John, dumb!ound-
! ed, stopped work. The excited settler shouted,
I" Say, John, kin you dance,--wers are goin' 70
have one at the hall in town next week. Come"
Aud then pse!ing off his coat, hat and vest he
proceeded into one Of the most astonishing
dances on record 1t was a combIn alton Ct an
Irish jig and Dutch gallop, a negro breakdown
and an Indian war dance. John looked on in
amazement, and as the dance became furious,
job. in CONSERVATION climbed tree for self.
protection, and to get out of the reach of the
snow, mud, chips, &c, which the old gentleman
was kicking in every direction. After time
the old settler became calm and Silted in heap
| on log, and John came down from the tree
| He had not been down long before he was seizsd
with nervous twitchin- in the calf of bis left
leg, followed by an involuntary and spssmodic
lifting up and down Of the same-the leg in.
cluded. This continued and increased in vic.
lence nd repidity. The right leg remained
apparently wholly unconscious II the agitation
which It's mate was suffering Presently the left
leg began 70 walk around the right in lively
manner. a movenen. which John himself dis.
approved Of. but which he could not prevent.
! Thus be spun around there like top. He
shouted. help" murder" stop her. whoa
Jane" &C., but without avail uatil the leg aiore.
said chose to quit. Then h. was seized with
violen. fs of cachinstion. John is the loudest
and fastest lsaeher We have ever heard. When
he got through, recovered his breath and wiped
the tears from his eyes, he walked up the old
settler, who had fallen asleep, and said I'll so
to that dance"
The old settlers Communicated this IN lady to
Hank p, Abe A., jim B. AM everybody else,
and at once it was determined to have general
dancing match on Friday evening. Forthwith
they had committees on supper, music, invita-.
tons &c, and We were invited by the following
neat card:
particular BEEMus, BBL. . ARIEL D. B
J.
Come to our shiR.dig."
On the evening 10 question. after borrowing
clean shirt from Ira Nelson. paper collar from
Jay Blodeett, pair of boots from McNair,
tooth pick from Howard, aad postage stamp
from John Sanders, so that We could write back
if anything should happen, and putting lard on
cur hair and taller" on our boots, We got on
board the hog train of the G., B. Il Q. and went.
THE DANCE.
The hall, over Mason & Shlanbush's store,
was we'll lighted and very comfortable in every
respect. and WAS we'll filled With "old settlers"
Of all ages. We were immediately requested to
dance. It was In vain that we protested our
ignorance of the art. We said I'VE couldn't dance
a step" "Not much" exclaimed an old lady,
"you try to como out here and play that on us:'
and in the next instant We found ourself whirlei
ont upon the hcor We didn't know where to
place our hsnds-whst to do with our feet
what to Gay or do. We tried in vain to stand
on both sides Of eur partsss. bat failed. Final.
ly she quieted - BY balancing her 2Os pounds
aveird upeis on eur pet 1 eorns on the northwest
corner of out right foot. We bore it in grim
silence, partly bscause We knew she had no
other place to stand, and partly beesuse We sup.
posed that Was the rsle.
Pretty soon tho Boss on the platform said "all
ready" and the mssie struck up and he com.
menced to order as around. He informed US
that We were "chsssey, ala.msn.down.the.out.