The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1872-03-16
Wit and HumOr.

| w ~ aAhu AAuAHVAs
SINCE ladies' have taken to wearing
newspapers for bustles, publishers
complain that their fair subscribers are
more in "arrears than ever.
DISCERNING child (who has heard
some remarks made by papa)-Are you
our new nurse? Nurseries, dear.
Child-Well, then, I'm one of those
boys who can only be managed by kind
ness--soyou had better get some sponge
cake and oranges at once!
HOME RULE.-Mamma { TO Naughty
Boy}-you should always behave the
same, whether you are in company OF
not. Naughty Boy-Well, ma, why
don't you behave the same as you do to
company, and press us to lave another
tart2
THAT farmer who desired zone Of
| those chemist fellows who think they
know everything" to visit his farm and
| tell him how to manage it to the best
purpose. was quite dlspleased when
his visitor said: "Begin by selling
half your land"
ARTEMUs WARD was on a slow Califor-
MIA train, and he went to the conductor
was on the wrong end of the train for.
said he, "you will never overtake a
COW, you know, but if you'd put it on
the other end, it might be useful, for
now there's nothin' on earth to hinder
COW from walkin' right in and bitin'
the folks -
A GEORGIA correspondent saws that
the most noticeable comment on the
bill giving wife a cause of action
against party selling liquor or any
thing else to her husband while drunk.
and allowing the proceeds of the fine to
go the wife, came from Whit Anderson,
the messenger of the Senate. Now, "
said Whit, Sc can afford to get mar
RED, for my wife can comfortably sup
port the family on the fines [ will bring
her."
A FASHION reporter describes some of
the toilettes at recent party at Chey-
enne: "The belle of the evening was
Miss w. She dressed faultlessly in a
llnsey wolsey of the palest shade of
cafe au lait, cut en- train and trimmed
with Chicago relics. Miss II. wore a
polonaise made of blue jeans, postil
Toned in the back, cut visa Wis with a
de trop bias, and gored in the most
sangulnary manner. She wore no Jew
ell but consistency.
TEN or fifteen years ago, a public
dinner was given to the members of the
Legislature at Providence, and Mar
ragansett preacher, called the "Regu-
lar PAGER" because in lis prayers he
had a habit Of standing behind chair,
stepping backward, and hitching it
after him, was called on to ask bless
ing. He stood UP in his usual style,
and began a lengthy prayer. There
was an open door behind him, and he
soon unwittingly backed into an ad-
joining room, taking his chair along,
when some one softly closed the door,
and the hungry guests proceeded to
dine, while the petition was finished at
leisure by the distracted minister.
90 RAPTURE! Sympathetic wife
(reads): "Cut up cold fowl into
small joints; steep them in a
basin with little Oil, vinegar, pepper
and salt drain them in a cloth, dish
them up in pyramidical form, on a
thick bed of seasoned shred lettuce ;
mask them all owe. smoothly with some
white Mayonnaise sauce, No. 81; gar
ner round the base with border of
| neatly-cut quarters OF hard-boiled eggs,
the hearts OF lettuces, olives, fiIlets of
anchovies, or croutons of aspect jelly !!
Ornament the top with few sprigs of
tarragon or ebervil Oh, Algernon,
Algernon isn't it sweet2" Husband
"Lovely, my own. Begin again Just
where you mask them all over with the
Mayonnaise sauce you know, and read
slowly"
MAX MULLER went into the dining
room of an hotel in Oxford, and
there saw Henri Taine citing with
dish of roast beef and vast quaint
ties of bnttered toast The learned
German was surprised at the comblna-
ton, and at the huge quantity Of the
toast. els that a French dish ~ he
asked. NO. y said Taine, ''but they
keep on bringing it to me in spite of all
[ can say to the contrary" "What did
you ask for 2" observed his friend,
"Why," replied Taine, I keep telling
them to bring 'pOttdrtos, and each
time they bring me a fresh dish of
toast! - Mr.. Taine's pronunciation of
potatoes" was SO much like butter
ed toast that the astonished waiter
could not be blamed.
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