davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03
From the CapitaLI
Parson Newman vs. Confuoius and Po-
lysamy.

The Rt. Rev. Maj. Gen'l John P. New
man has been selected to teach Christianity
to the Japanese embassy and confute Con
fucius. This is the official ammo oncement
made, and its condescending. patronzing
tone is. to say the least Of it. charming. It
is to be hoped that the Rt: Rev. in his cru
sade against Confucius will be more success
full than he was in his attack upon Orson
Pratt. The Rt. Rev. went out to Salt Lake
city with band Of music. consisting of his
owu horn. and after no end of blowing threw
down the theological glove of the church
militant which the poiyeamous follower of
the polygamOus Brigham incontinently took
up, and at it the two divines went, hammer
and tongs. The next We heard of our b.
loved the Rt. Rev. Maj. Gen'l. be had
passed from theology to astronomy, being
fat on his back aud utterly helpless. while
the polygamous prophet Orson stood over
him waving the Bible and bigamy in triumph
By-the-bye. why is it that our dearly be-
loved tnrns up in wrath his chaste nose at
the mere mention of the polgumous'Mor-
mons-pounds his pulpit, Bible and calls
upon his Lord the President to hang aud
quarter these unbeievers, while he is so
sweet upon those po'ygamous Japanese I?
of earthly and everlasting damnation on the
poor Mormons while dancing attendance,
opera hat in hand. about the embassy and
moving his theological bowels of compass
sion over the young heather Koddamme.
Can it be that thu hOnOrs and emolumsnts of
minister and envoy of the United States to
the Empire of Japan have softened bis zeal !!
We wot not. 1t cannot be that this great
1 tiUh fc$s 4 ho Nat mi, of
tan Memorial Church, with the chimes
Fog bank-so far forgets bis high mission
as even to smell Of the flesh pots! Certainly
NOT. And yet wherein lies solution 70 this
theological mystery! -.
| We took up our pen, however. to suggest
that if we wish to conciliate these Japanese:
and not only Join the civilization of the ne "
West to that of the older East, and so
secure profitable trade. We had better keep
our propagandism well in the background.
Religious toleration does not obtain any
more in the East than it has in the West,
and while we are prosecuting the Mornons
under color of law. and generally in violation
Of it, the Japanese government is persecut-
ing the Nswmans with about the same zeal
ana the same reason. 1t is much to be de-
plored. Would it were otherwise. But can
We not bide the proper time ! Won't a little
patience benefit And if the Lord could
gait six thousand years-according to theo.
llogical account-before introducing to us
The truths Of Christianity, can we not give
the Japanese few hundred? Let 0s try
The Aericultural Bureau and internal reyenus
i ~ I little while before We turn on the New
Inans % teach The truth without the crown o.
ina9syrdu0 th1t generaily marches in ad
vnaee = tl6e1y suss and cruel persecu
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03
~. Holn.. in tho Atlantic and Poets.

Of Of listen listeners. FnowshSa4n and bhs R4ea s'ees,
J her business to please. ! do not say tia
it is not her business to vote. But | do "a,
> that the women who does DOT please is falls
note in the harmonies Of nature. She ma,
not have youth or beauty. or even manner
but she must have something in her voice Of
expression. or both. which it makes you fec
better disposed towards your race to look
at or listen to. She knows that 40 we'll an
we do; and her first question after you have
! ben talking your soul into her conscious
ness is. Did please! A woman never for
gets her sex. She would rather talk with
man than an angel, any day.
The less there is of sex about a woman.
the more she is to be dreaded. But take a
real woman at her best moments. we'll
dressed enough to be- pleased with herself.
not so respiendent as to be show and a
sensation. with the varied outside influences
that set vibrating the harmonic notes of her
nature stirring in the air about her-and
what has the social life to compare with one
OF those vitals interchanges of thought and
feeing with her that makes an hour m-mor.
aoie. What can equal her tact. her delivery,
her suotlety of apprehension. her quickuess
10 Ieei me change OF temperature as the
warm and cool currents Of talk blow nv
turns! AT one moment she is microscopicai.
~ intellectual, critical. -crupuious in judge,
meht as an analysst's balance, and the next
as sympathetic as the open rose that g. w-st.
ems the mind from whatever quarter it 6nds
Its way to her bosom
1hat poets are treated es privileged per.
sons by their admirers and the educated
paoiic can bardl L,' d,>pdsed. That they
whatever. OHirsS>..-sr~fz o.s--s... s--s-- scs
e"Sy n way of shrkins all the civi. and
social ana domestic duties as to settle it in
Que . lnind that one is . poet. The number
Vi 'hese persons is so great that if they
were suffered to indul ge their preju,lices
as sains' everyday duties and labors. it would
oe q serious loss to the productive industry
" Tue country My skirts are clear 50 far ~
are concerned Of countrnancing that
.o' !, u VI intellectual opium eating in which
io ,akes the place OF the narcotic.
3 ~ 't'ie 1901 that has published little book
'u' "a poems or other spuitering tokens of
an uneasy condition. how love you Tor It
'"o soit Nerve of special seuslbility' ~
y. 'unS through your exiguous Organrsk.,. anu
l"' one phosphorrscent particle in your
y. intelligence! But if you
iea'e your spun sugar confectionery
BUSINESS once IN while. and come cut
among iusfy men-the bristly pachy dermat.
Jus ieiiows that hew out the highways fur
ne material progress of society, and tho
out Of door men that fight
or the great prize of life-you will come to
-. u;uc 'nat the spun'sugar business is tho
'n'ei end OF man. and begin to feel and look
IS II you felt as much above common peonle
g that parsonage Of whom To urgueneff saws
nat he had the air of his own statue erected
y national subscription"
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03
From tho Louisville Ledgerl
Enameling the Face and ths Result.

A lady in Louisville paid ssventy-five
dollars. we are told. for having her face
eDameled for the ball given at the Gait House
to the Grand Duke AfExis. The enamel was
warranted to last three days. and so it did.
The lady was taken i'll upon her return home
from the ball, her face became greatly swol-
len. the most acute plan succeeded, and it
was only by the employment OF the best
medical skill that her life was saved. This
statement We have from an undoubted
source.
But the case Of this lad yiis -ssot so bad as
that Of another Louisville lady who became
enamcred of the Odious fashion of enameiing
the face. She visited another city, far to the
eastward, some five months ago, for the pur-
pose of having her face enameled according
to the latest Partisan mode. She had he ard
that ncted Partisan was engaged in the
enumelng business at the city in question
| and to him she went upon her arrival Fol-
the sum of five hundred dollars he agreed
to enamel hsr face so scientifically that the
enamel would remain undamaged for three
years, and year or two longer if extra care
was taken in washing the face according to
his prescribed method. The devotee of fash
ion concluded the bargain, and paid three
hundred dollars Of the sum named. the bal
| ance to be paid in yearly instailments
divided into three years.
The ladyrrceived the enamel and return
ed to her hons in this city. Since her re-
turn she has disappeard from society. There
was so much poison in the enamel that it,
effects we're almost total paralysis of thu
facial nerves, and what was once a truly
oea utiful face is to- day a distorted, disfg
ured and ulcerous one.
The lady's beauty has disappeared for
ever. and if her physicians succeed in saving
her life they will have accomplished NOR
than they had right to hope for. Her eye
are terribly inflamed and disfgured, and th'
ksight of them fast failing.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

"IF ONLY HAD CAPITAL."-"If l only
had capital" We heard : young man say
few days ago as be pufed away at cigar.
II would do something"
IF only had capital" said another as
be walked away from a dram shop where be
had just paid ten cents for drink. II
would go into business {.
The same remark might have have beon
heard from from the yonng man loafing on
the street corner. Young man with the
cigar. you are smoking away your capital.
You from the dram shop are drinking yours
and destroying your body ut the same time
and you on the street-eorner are wasting
yoars in idleness and ibrmiuro bad habits.
Dimss make dollars Time is money.
Dm'twait for q fortune to begin with. 1t
yoa bod ten thousand dollsrs ayear and
spent Is Ill, yoa would be poor etill. Our
nsp of power and in6sence did not start
With fortunes. You. tpo. can make your
nafk. iff yos will. Bat Iou must stop
spsslhgy yess money FOR what you don't
- - sasasdssh yesr time in idle
I
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03
poetrp.
From the Capitol
ny MOTHERS QUEER.

'om the Capitol
ny MOTHERS QUEER,
Inc other n ight went to sec
Inc prettest girl in town
Her eyes were blue and sulilipg too
her hair was curly brown;
took her pretty little hand
In mine to dra " her near:
When with pout she muttered out
- don't my mothers queer"
Soon after chatted On
0f concert, ball and show
asked if to the opera
With me some night she'd 70.
The tenors very good" said.
And Ssntiey you should hear
She sGhed and shook her curly head
Il csn't--my mothers queer h"
At last rose to bid adieu
How fast the moments glide
When ssms sweet overskirt Of bin.
ls seated at your side
When 1T the door begged a kiss
lonely way to cheer
on no. 1t would not do" she sai6
.fou know my mothers queer ~
@srouTss ts.oie The tam ping pri.e.
Al honey steals the bee;
All sweet ~ early flowers are lips
Ofmaids as fair as she
She blushed and sighed then ruurmursd Law
So that l scarce could hear
You'd better put that back again.
Beea1se-my mothers queer!"
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03
6pa1kfn' Sunday Night.

we. who have seen as many as sixteen
years in this vale of tears, understand to a
verify the mingled joys ard sorrows of our
Sunday nights' courtship.
With what trepidation half doubt, half
triumph, was noted the effect of "Warren's g
Blackin' on our new sewed boots or. with
trembling fingers. e-ssyed to tie the fancy
neckcloth. for which our tailor had charged
as such an outrageous price, unblush,ngly
affirming that he was making present Of it
at that amount How r, aaIpitated as we
containing our ~.ss and pprf1ay---s.
heart as We approached il, and make a
circuit of block or two before coming
to the door! How our heart beat tumultu
cusly as we laid a shaking hand upon the
knob an gave a pull, and heard the bell ring
out in the hall
Would she come to the door Would
she be glad to see US t! No, it is the cook.
who propels the mop and wre shes with the
frying pan in the lower regions, and this
hard hearted female. supposing that we are
in search of the younger brother Of cur
divinity, announces that be is not in.
Master Ned Ridiculous A mere
schoolboy-whole months younger than We
are. We falteringly prOaounce the name
of our inamorata. and are admitted.
What is this female grinning at Does
she see anything wrong in our apparel or
has she the bpudence to class US in the
same light with boy lik. master Ned!
Our indignation is sooa lost, as We STAN
ble into the presence of the fair one, and
do wonderful things with the hat which has
cost money, before We consent to relinquish
it to the tender mercies d the servant. We
feel that the eyes of the world are open US !;
that pater familias is rsgDding US with a
placid smile, aud that ne partner of his
Joys and his sorrows is watchin' u.s."
And then when the old people have asked d
all the questions they can think of. and
have found business in ether parts of the
house, and We are alone with our charmer.
She has wonderfully low voice. at first,
and yet she leads Us on,as women will do to
the end of time, until We are talking glibly
enough. and have gone g far as to be seat
on the sofa, when pater familias comes
incoming in with an eafthly question:, re-
ceives his answer, and neanders out again.
We have taken her haid, when the whirl-
wind enters the touae il the shape of Mas
ter Ned, who inAicts his presence upon Us
for half an hour, and Is ont again.
The moments fly swiftly and We are the
seventh heaven of happiness. when again
the dooys open, and solemn procession
enters. Pater familias, mater familias and
Ned, outwardly demure, but inwardly re-
| ioicing, like a demon. in our discontinue
After q while We feel fofsouv hat and depart
inwardlY full of wrath and vowing never tt
return. Bat, as surely - the cycle of time
brings round the next Sabbath night, we arr
hack AGAIN. And so il will be with the
sons of men while the world goes round.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

A teacher in an Illinois district school re-
ceived the following excuse from an indig-
nant patron: Miss Brown want you to
strictly understand that you hant boss Of
my Children if you keep maria for ben late
you Will have trubl you need not think
Wee are Slave becas wee bant Wee liv inn
free land adoo.''
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

Cleveland saloon keepers secure photo
graphs of men whose wives do not permit
them to drink. and keep galleries of them
When customer enters, the bar keeper
looks through his album and sees whether
or not the customers face is good.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

The Radicals in the Mississippi Legis-
latufe recently passed Civil Rights bill.
A negro man and his r .fe tested the matter
by taking a seat in the theatre at Jackson.
They didn't stay long eaoagh forest.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

You can't do too much tor your em.
ployer, man." said somebody to big fsted
strong man-of all work. on the wharf. the
other day. Arab" replied Pat. with
emphasis, "neither will l.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

''What is the principal business carried
on in this place ~ asked a aravelsr of a
citizen in Connecticut village. the
manufacture Of ready made clothiLg," Was
the reply. You are queer set, 70 spend
your time in the manufacture OF what is
already made" said tn. traveller.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

Henry Ward Beecher says: 1T will
scarcely be denied that men as men are su-
perior TO women; and that women are i'm.
.measurably superior to men as women
while both of chem together are more than
a match for either of them separately"
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

Cissy So you are going away. Efie. and
We shall have no more races round the gar.
den for bon -bons. Efie-Yes, Cissie. dear.
Aud if We don't Eeet in this world again
when yeu are an angel, and a6 an anger,
I'll fly you for box of chocolate creams.
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

IRON VS.. WOODEN SHIPs.-Secretarv
hooeson's hot-house plan for encouraging
IRON snip building is perfectly consistent
WIN the general policy Of the Protec,ionist..
special interests must 5e protected" i'm
some way, whether the process resorted to
Dc detrimental to other interests and the
general welfare of the people or not, Bv
the way. 1t is not a settled fact that iron
ships are preferable to wooden ones. That
they are not as seaworthy as has been es-
tabllshed by experience. The statistics Of
marine disasters show that out of forty-two
Atiantlc steamer. lost at sea between the
years ls4l and 1872. thirty eight were iron
and only four of wood while Of the line of
IRON ships running into the St. Lawrence
and Portland. nine were lost between 1857
and 1864. and five iron sailing vessels. all
built in Great Britain. and sent to sea in
800 and 1905. have never been heard from.
Gee haRIi4h dairise Rs6 iissenu nueeaSsse SSssefas
A romantic couple of Franklin, Tenn.
whose course of true love didn'. run smooth
planned runaway scheme. which they
proceeded to carry out early on a rec. rs
morning. They d got as far as the depot.
when the young lover became nervous. lest
the irate father should ov4rtake him. thusly:
Il don't see how he can; really don't.
He. lives three miles from here. and if he
comes he will have to walk. He cant mako
the distance afoot before the arrival and de-
parture of the train. l foresaw the danger
of such denouem"nt last night, and made
my arrangements accordingly. 1 went to
the stables, hid all the brides. locked the
doors, and threw the keys away. When l
left nome this morning, father and mother
were asleep. quietly turned the key upon
them aud threw IT away, too.'
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

A HUGE .-E age clock
at the English Parr.~ 1.-The
largest one in the world. 1p.4,
this clock arr each twenty sNo feet 10 I.
eter. Every half minute the point of the
minute hand moves nearly seven inches
The clock will 60 eight and half days. bat
it only strikes seven aud half. thus iudica-
ting any neglect in wiud.ng it up. The mere
winding up of the strikin, mechanism takes
two hours. The pendulum is fifteen feet
long the wheels are of castiron; ths hour
hell is eight feet his and nine feet in diam
etAr. weighiH2.pearly fifteen tons. and tho
hammer alone weighs more than 400 pounds
The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1872-04-03

A NEW USE FUR THE DoxoLoeY.-A
good deacon. who was naturally high
tempered man. bad been used to beat his
oxen over the head. as all his neighbors did.
1t was observed when be became Christian
his cattle were remarkably doc,le. A friend
inquired into the secret. "Why." said The
deacon. formerly, when my oxen were q
little contrary. / few into a passion md
beat THIN numerically. This made the
matter worse. Now. then they do not be-
have we'll GO down behind thu load. sit
down. am I'D Hundred. don't know
how it is In tune has surprising
effect ui
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-01-26
A New Western Euterprise.

new weekly, OF choice reading for the family
circle, reaches us from Chicago. 1t is an original
Family and Story Weekly, with stories and poems
illustrated; large size, eight pages, well printed
on fine paper, and bears the neat and suggestive
title of ''OuR FiREsIDE FRIEND" 1t is published
by Waters. Eberts & Co., of that city. The con-
tents are fresh, varied, interesting. and of high
tone, and the illustrations excellent. The
continued stories are by able writers, and give
promise to be Of grea. interest. Short Stories,
Sketches. Poetry, News, Science, Ars, Answers
to correspondents Items for the Ladies'. etc., with
special departments for the Farmer, the House
wife, and the Children, make up eight pages of
instructive and entertaining reading for old aud
young.
prominent feature of this number is Win. NJ.
Carleton's great poem 1.-THE Burning ofChicago,"
his best production, which the Publishers have
beautifully illustrated. This publication is a new
enterprise in the West. An original and illds
trated Story and Family weekly has never been
established west of New York, there is no reason
why one should not be sustained, and 'sOur Fire
side Friend" certainly Is meritorons in its contents
and general appearance, and it Starts under such
circumstances of financial and business ability as
to guaran ee its permanency. The Publishers
will send a specimen copy free, 20 any address.
We suggest to our readers the propriety of secuT
ing Will. NJ. Ca-letons Poem, 1.-THE Burning OF
Chicago" illustrated, which the Publisers will
send free to all who send their address. s9-4w
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-01-26
IxpxptSpENcx, Iowa, Jan. "a, 1872.

EprTOU BULLETIN dear Sir ALLOW me to
correct through the columns Of your valuable pa
per- the statement made in last weeks issue by
one who claimed to have brought lace to the
Singer office, &c. We hope that It was not the
intention of The gentleman to purposely msrcpre-
sent the matter, however, our suspisions are
ar oused, when we reflect that It was hut few
mo nths ago that this same person was called to
account for miprepresenting matters In regard to
the American Button Hole Machine to several
persons Of good standing in Buchanan county.
win here state that the lace brought to the Singer
once, was sewed ON In the gentleman's presence
iu less than five minutes time; being thus hastily
performed, 1t was but little better done than the
sample brought, accordingly the gentleman was
invited to call again, when more lime and pains
would produce for him a sample which would be
nm honor 10 the window Of any Sewing Machine
room, compared to the sample brought The bal
(bcing about thirty minutes) was occupied wholly
by the gentleman in the way Of exposing HE igno-
rnce in regard to Sewing Machines. Now, If 1t
took the gentleman but thirty minutes to expose
his ignorance in the Sewing Machine line, how
long would 1t take seven blc-bOdicd mon and
three boys to load two Howe machines into an
ordinary wagon, provided each man done his b.sti
Or, II this has recently been decided by actual
test how long would It take one operator, on the
same machine, to hem mile OF common muslin,
over seams ak inches apart the machine taking
sx stitches to the revolution, and the drive wheel
reversing at eaeh seam. AGENT.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-01-26

LIQUOR DAMAGEs.-Thcf following from
the Marshall Times of late date shows
that we have temperal &c law in Iowa,
something similar, and in certain cases
as effective, if enforced, as the recent en-
actments in Ohio and Illinois. The main
trouble with our statute as it stands, is
that it is only calculated to reach the
rumseller with property. The impecu
NOUS varlcts who form the bulk Of the
death dealing brigade are protected from
its operations by their very insignificance.
Possessed of but a jug or two of blue ruin
few bottles and tumblers and a lot Of
battered furniture, they can snap their
fingers at an action for damages and go
on dealing out misery and wretchedness
with impunity. Let the present Legisla-
ture amend the law by adding clause
making the building in which the liquor
is sold, liable to seizure ana sale to satisfy
the damages accruing to the drunkard's
family and creditors, and We shall have
lever which will be immensely effective
in overturning the disreputable traffic.
But to the extract:
The last act Of the term of the Circuit
Court just closed, was the assessing Of
damages in the case of Harriet Doud VS..
Church. This case was brought up at a
proceeding term by Mrs. Doud against
Church, a saloon keeper, for damages in
selling liquor to her husband, and judy
ment rendered by default. 1t was called
this term to prove damages, &c. Mrs.
Doud, Messrs Haradon, Lindsay and
others, testified to his (Church) selling
liquor TO DOud. Mr.. Henderson, in be
half Of the plaintiff, made short, telling
speech for the plaintiff, and with little
ceremony the jury returned damages in
the amount of $500. This verdict estab-
fishes the fact that there is a law in Iowa
making a liquor seller responsible for any
damages that may ensue from his selling
liquor.