Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-04-01
- Struggle fo1. n Mus
tache.
BY c. A. STEPHENS.


from the very soul of every youngster of
dozen-sometimes younger-which
gets stronger and stronger every year,
as he goes into his teens, and, like schil-
ler's Whirlpool never will rest till his
upper lip is mustached? ? What can
they know of it? Nothing. That's why
I don't think it worth while for them to
read this sketch. They couldn't Il say
it respectfully, and without the slig ghtest
attempt at disparagement, not the slight
est)-they couldn't appreciate the situa-
ton; but boys can. Every boy knows,
or shortly VIII, just how it is himself.
For mustaches are inevitable, and will
come either with or without help-usu-
ally with. l therefore dedicate this bit
of experience, sad. personal experience,
to the shavers, little and great. They'll
read it. feel confident, every one and
that they may to some extent profit by
it is the earnest wish of one of their
number
1t was in January, the first month of
year not great many years ago. The
winter school was keeping. George
Redway was the master that winter
Harry Smith, Tom Edwards and |, had
the '.long seat together The long seat
was the one at the end of the room, at
right angles with the other seats. 1t
partially fronted the rest, and was long
enough for three of us-a favorite seat,
and one greatly sought after in the gen.
eral scramble, on Monday morning of the
FIRST day." | remember that Tom and
l went down to the school house a little
after seven that morning, in order to
make sure of it by getting our books un-
der the bench before the McIntire boys
got there.
The ''back seat was full of 'great
boys of eighteen or twenty. They
nearly all had mustaches or attempts at
the same. And some If them even had
whiskers. Of course their example and
good success in this particular was stim-
ulating to us smaller boys. Still we
didn't take our fever (mustache fever)
from them. 1t came from sudden ex-
posure in the form of young fellow
from Portland, named Fred Barry, who
came up the second week of our school
on visit at his grandfather's who lived
in the neighborhood. By way of pass
ing the time (nothing more, | guess he
attended school for several weeks. Any
thing like the brown beauty, the trim
ness, and the heroic effect of Freds mus
tache can scarcely be conceived Of The
great boys" were goats beside him.
And as for the great girls, it was
amazing to see how they kept wearing
their best dresses every day, and how
cold they grew toward their old admirers
Harry, Tom and /, from the long
seat, eyed him (the mustache part, and
that was the only part of him worth
noticing, eyed him admiringly. Day
by day we watched and sighed, nay,
pined-I really think we pined-under
the unapproachable glory of that manly
mustache. Unapproachable for as yet
our faces were as smooth as our dinner
boxes. AS l said at first, | don't ex-
pect any save boys to sympathize with
US in this mood. And | know the most
of folks will but laugh when I state that
for the first fortnight after Fred's arri-
val, Tom and l actually lay awake
nights to discuss it, and devise means
for putting our own upper lips in sim,
liar condition. AS preliminary STEP
we had already procured an old razor
and a cake of soap; and were proceed
ing toward the object in view by scrap
ing in the usual way, when one forenoon
; at recess Harry, whose fever ran higher
even than ours, showed us a slip cu
from late newspaper "a religious paper
too) which made everything easy in +;
moment
That slip was this:
"MusrAoHEs! MusrAoHEs...
''The Grecian Compound! Will force growth
hair on the smoothest face with few applications
This is no humbug. Price only 90 per package.
address with the money!
PROFESSOR BoUFrET.
"S3 Nassau st. New York"
Was there ever such an opening :
We read it over and over in school hold
ing it behind our books.
DO you suppose it really is so 2
whispered Ten.
This is no humbug," read Harry
pointing to the slip.
On the whole it looked too straight
forward and honest, and was too mucl
to our liking to be seriously doubted
LETS send on and try it, anyway,
said Harry, as We sat eating our dinner
in our seats and talking the matter over
Shouldn't wonder if that was the wa,
Y he raised his, with nod up to wher
4 Fred was shining and talking with tn
q girls. Lets send tomorrow. It'll b
: thirty three cents apiece. Can you d
!. it ?'
: 1t would nearly break us; but W
E could do it, barely.
Come over to our house tonight,
!; said Harry, land we'll write the letter
q That evening after repeated attempt.
we got off the following:
'N-, MAINE JAM 80, 1885,
'PRoFEssoR BouFFET, ESQ.
DEAR SIR: Please send package of yo
Grecia Compound as soon as you get this, whi(
l. contains dollar pay for it. Be sure to send
: the right kind
+. HARRY SMITH and two Others. "
we put thlS III Une poSrOnce ne2
n n morning, as we went to school
II "How long do you expect it'll be b
fore it will get here?'' asked Tom.
'e 20, we'll, it may be week. sal
a Harry. Il don't mean to think strang
q though, or worry, if it don't come for
;e fortnight. May have a good deal
N business on hand, you know
/ That seemed some time; but as v
eS could do nothing further, we set on
?. selves to wait patiently.
is Tom and were therefore very agre
e, ably surprised, when, IN the third nigl
l after, Harry came running up to o,
"a house, and, calling us out, exclaime
"Its come p
Such promptness looked well in Il
4. Professor.