Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1872-03-27
COUNTING TWENTY-FIVE.
How the Wife of Utica Editor Curb.
ed his UngOVerRb1e Temper.
EroTn ha TTt{ca

| From the Utica Herald
l found the cherished face of Maria AnI
wreathed in smiles the other evening wher
l returned from my daily arduous toll.
am engaged as standing man at a saloon
So many candidates are treating, that the
| salOon-keeper hires six of US to be treated
We all drink with every candidate who
comes in, and it makes business very brisk
Said my chosen one: "Joshua, am afraid
you do not always find me an angel in dis.
position"
Said l: "That's Sony dear, / don't SCI
dom find you 'nangel in anything"
"ADd," she added, "you are not always
the most pleasant man in the world"
did not feel called on to reply.
"NOw," she said, "read that"
She had cut an item from the columns of
some paper wherein demented writer told
about some impossible woman who, being
troubled with bad temper, counted tWen-
ty-tive every time she got provoked, and
became a sweet, amiable, and dearly-belov.
ed ornament of the house of her delighted
husband. read the article as well as the
condition of my head would allow, and re-
marked "Bosh.'
Maria Ann paid no attention to me, but
| got mad should count 25, and every time
she got mad she would count %. | asked
her who she thought would pay our rent
while we sat and counted 25, over and over,
all day long. Then she said was always
raising objections to her plans for our mutu-
al improvement, and l said was not, and
she said l was enough to try the patience of
a saint, and said she was too, and she
came for me, and told her TO count %; but
she forgot all about that, and justkallied one
in my left eye.
Then was going to demonstrate with the
poker, and she told me to count %, and l
said / would not, but did before she had
pulled more than half my hair out. Then
she made me count 25 oyer and over, until
| was out Of breath, and felt real pleasant
and good natured. So we went to supper.
Now, the cat was curled up in my chair.
but did not see it until l sat down, and |
did not see it then, but was pretty sure it
was there; in fact, knew it was there as
well as l wanted to, and more too. / felt
inclined to rise up suddenly, but, as | gath
cred to spring, she brandished the teapot and
murmured, "Joshua, your temper is rising;
count rs, or I'll break your head;" and that
cat was drawing a map of the Tenth ward
with her claws around behind me, with the
streets and boundaries marked in my blood.
1 rose to explain, and said. "My dear,I-"
but she caromed on my head with a well
shot teacup, and sprinkled my face with a
a quart of hot tea, and | sat down and
counted 25; but it killed the cat. The old
fellow died hard, though. ! could feel him
settle as his nine lives went out one by one.
A few days practice on this Iule, under
the loving instruction Of Maria Ann, has en-
abled me to conquer my temper completely.
Nobody can get me mad now, and am in
a state of perpetual calm; and l want to see
the man who wrote that story. want to
fit him for the hands of an undertaken, and
make demand for mourning goods among
his friends. Then can die happy-count-
ing twenty-five.