The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-06-20

fwjch Is in the State Nv Ky.,l
JOOn s, 1872. }
wuz invited to 20 TO q county
in Southern IRdiana, IN wien neu
some friends. and assist in hxin the
coalishun betwixt the Democracy ano
the Liberal Republicans, that they
mite march to victry without ques'
ton. didn't like to leave the corners
The spring time hez come aginJ gen.
tie Annie, and It is pleasant mere
The trees is. ont into blossom, the
little birds Is liftin up their voices
harmOpiously, the weather is warm
enuff 10 90 barefooted, and the stool
Ia front Nv BascOm's is never *
pleasant to sleep upon ez now. Ths
Warmth dispOses roo TO Elumber, anC
the lies amt come yit to murder It
lfkkar never Tastes ez well in Ken
lucky ez in JooD. But when did ]
ever hesitate to go where doOty calls
went.
The county hez alluz bin sliteiy
Republican; that Is, Republican b
perhaps two hundred majority; jus
enuif TO let cur people git site at thi
promised land without ever entering
into It. The Liberal movement tool
80 well there, that It become a certain
thing that ef the Democrisy and The
Republikinr bcltens Good only pal
ftOeetheEy tri1mph wuZ4 ashoored
{ .But, thought 20 myself this cam
possibly Be- Et willgo well enuR I'll
they come to maxim q platform, and
then they'll split into fragments
There is too hefty difference atween
the Injeany Dimoerat and Republi'
kin-a difference based on principle
70 admit Nv ahope tbat they kin evel
pull troO together. But determined
to do my best and smooth things &
ez to make agreement e. easy ez pos
sible.
advised, to wunst, that an infor
NAL consultashun be held, and thai
six representative men from thC
Democratic party, and six from the
Republican party who had gone oyel
70 Greeley, shood be appinted, anC
empowered to Ok everything connectiC
with the campane. The caucus wa
held, and the folloWin wuz them az
wuz appinted 10 arrange the detales
DEsfoCRATs-Brown, O'Shaugh.
nessey, Peters, Smith, McCloskeyanC
BlOdgett.
A-A1LANAAA ANAaL = AltfA-AAlAa1 OaAIN
Thompson, Adams, Dodder, Potter
and Muggins.
These gentlemen met the same af
ternoon nv their appintment, and
acted as sort Nv umpire, that ther'
mite be order and system observed
Mr.. Smith DEM remarked tha
the fast thing il order wood be to e.
the platform nv principles in sieh {
way that both wings NV the partl
Good stand onto it. Without q plat
form to stand onto, no Democrat coOC
60 into the campaue Eithany fecliR u
safety. he wood propose the discus
sion nv the different ishoos afore tn
people. It wood be necessary, "
corse, to wbittle down on one spot
and swell out in another, {,
git the PRINCIPLES adapted 10 thu
siiteIy diverse idees nv men Wict
hadn't kept step together, ez i
were, and he wood sejest that Yooni
Yerssi Amnesty be flrst DISGUST.
ssEow,' says I to myself, athe frs
instaliment Nv trouble Is onto us. ,
But It wuzn't.
The other eleven he'd bin yawnii
fearfully durin this orashun, but the
each cboked OF their RESPECTIVE
yawns long enuf 10 exeIaim in ko
srus:
20 blarst Yooniversal Amnesty
There amt no doubt but wat we she
All agree on that pint. Go on ~
7 wuz deIited to see them ruff pint
got over so:easy.
swat shel we do with the suffrag
question ?" asked Mr.. Smith.
"Blarst the suffrage question ~ ex
claimed the eleven with one voice
We shel hev no trouble witl. that"
tsThe tariff
t'D-n the tariffIn shreeked tn
sturdy eleven, ''there can't possibl,
be any trouble about the tariff, no
viii there be any difference Nv opin
yum regardin Nashenel Banks, Civi
Servis, Revenoo, or anything else
We shel agree on all NV that. Pas
itF'
sThank Heaven,n I tEOt, "thel
see the necessity nv success, and az
tractable. There amt nothin els
that kin make trouble"
They all yaWned turribly. Their
: WIZ Rn anxious silence foRDerhsps
mint. wich Mr.. Peters tDem. finally
+ busted. III f
W ~ VIC ~ AuOhH EEu HE
9is wko shel we nominate for Sher
if?"
Mr.. Jones Lib Rep.) sed Will
much warmth and feeiin, that hil
friends he'd urged him to accept tha-
place and he he'd, after much soiissi
tashen consentid to take it.
Mr.. Peters remarked in a sarcasti,
tone that Mr.. Jones he'd bin, eff ".
Good take bis word for ii, solissited by
his friends Nv the Republican party
to take that posishen for ten yeers
but e. his friends wuz composed prin.
cipally Nv hisself, his father, one sol
and 8 brotheF-in-law, he he'd never
took it very much. He wood see the
coalishen In Tophet afore- he wood Sc,
1t made the vehicle for carryin played
out Abilishnists. ''pll never con
sent,n sed Mr.. Peters, excitedly, ST
see the best ofiics in tie county file,
by q rotten, decayed renegade.
want that offs myself"
Immijitly Mr. Jones and Mr. Peter
were settlin their personal differences
on the floor, IN the manner for WieI
Injeany is celebrated.
Mr.. Thompson LIB. Rep.) sed the
majic word "Auditor 90 Immeiitly
Mr.. Brown Dem. sed that that place
he he'd considered hizzen; TO wicf
Mr.. Thompson replied that Mr.
Brown WIZ only In this movement
becoz the regler Dimocrisy wcoC
never nominate him for nothin.
THAT place." sed Mr.. Thomson
ils 30 pek0olyerly adapted to my abil
tiles, that I hev -n
- Mr.. Thompson and Mr.. Brown wuz
in less than q second, rOllin the foo
in bear hug; each frantically en-
deavorin to possess hisself Nv the
others left eye and rite arm.
Mr.. AcCioskey, Dem and Mr.
Adams, Glib. Rep.) got into an argy
ment on the floor ez to Wich shood B,
nominated for Recorder; the Treas
urership furnisht Mr.. O'Shaugh
nessy Dem and ETr. Doddel
LIB. Rep.l an occasion for a set
to :Mr. smith Dem. and Mr.
Potter LIB. Rep. altercated concern
a seat in the Legislacher; and over the
county cierkship, Mr.. Blodgett
(Den. and Mr. Muggins, Glib. Rep.
partOok nv each others ears and tast
cd each oiher's gore. They were al
on the floor rollin Ia each Others
arms to wunst the air Nv the roon
bein thick meanwhile with the grOan!
and oaths NV the gentle cOmbatants
didn't know at the time how tn,
matter resulted, for an Injeany fire.,
fite lasts an hour, and I hedn't th,
time to stay. But the whole thing
went up. They al! hankered to bC
Brigadeers, wich in pOlitiks, ez in
military LIE, can't be. Each man
wuz In the movement to promote his
sell, and ef he coedent git wat he yearn-
ed for he preferred to bust the move
ment. And it wuz busted accOrdin.
I Ieoedsnt help thinkin on my way
home that no matter how kind and
eonsiiiRtogy the average Liberal Re
p1hliesn and Denokrstic may be ia
the metter " prinsiplesa platform,
they are fearfully and dreadfully
in earnest when il comes nomina-
shens. I don't know Rich shOckt me
most, their apathy at the beginnin Nv
the meetln, or their fiery zeal at its
endin. Politiks Is queer.
PETROLEUM Y. Nasty.
WITCH wuz postmaster.
It Is said that Senator Summers
house is fairly cumbered with offs re-
ceived from 6ur representatiVes abroad