davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
Well-take care Of yourself.

GIRLS WHO WIN.-Tho time has
passed away when a woman must be pale
and delicate to be called interesting g
when she must be totally ignorant of all
practical knowledge to be called high
brcd-when she must know nothing Of
the current political news Of the day, or
be called masculine and strong.minded
1t is not a sign Of high birth to be
sickly or ignorant. Those who affect
anything Of the kind are behind the
times, and must shake up and air them
selves mentally and physically, or drop
under the firm strides Of common sense
ideas, and be crushed into utter lnsigni
6cance.
In these days, an active, rosy tacet
girl, with brain quick and clear, warm
light heart, a temper quickly heated q
intended insult or injury. and just a'
quick to forgive; whose feet can run a
fast as her tongue and not put her out o
breath who Is not afraid Of freckles o
to breathe the pure air Of heaven, unrs
strained by the drawn curtains Of clos
carriage and, above all, who can spea|
her mind aud give her opinion on import
ant topics which interest intelIigeu
people, is the true girl who will make
good woman.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
send Him Up Another.

The Toledo Blade tells the following
good story Of how Mark Twain and
Girls, the Fat Contributor, attempted to
play q practical joke on John B. Cough,
the renowned temperance lecturer, and
how they didn't do it:
"Keep your seat" said I, as my friend
rose to go; II cannot help repeating that
old boomerang joke attempted 10 be
played upon Cough by every body's pc,
humorist, Mark Twain, and that Fal-
staffian jokist, the Fat Contributor. II
has been told before, but I should like
to repeat it. stripping the story from the
falsehcods BY which it was formerly EN-
bellished."
One evening Twain and Girls found
themselves together at the Sherman
House. in Chicago, b. +. (beforc the Ere. }
Drifting about 10 search Of the pictur-
esque, they followed the human stream
I'll TO wear the metaphor threadbsre)
they stranded on bar Mr.. Cough was
staying at the house at the time, and be
ing uuwoll, had retired early. A bright
ldes struck Twain's restless mind. "Let's
send him up cocktaiir'
Idea voted good and acted upon
Waiter arrived at Mr.. Coughs room
"Some mistake; never touch liquor.
Waiter positive; Mr.. Cough more SO.
On the way down it occurred to tn.
darkey that it was pity the cocktail
should be wasted so he drank it and re
ported "all right" at the bar. Twain
and Girls, intensely delighted, though,
they had caught the lecturer mapping.
"Let's send him up another" said
Girls.
Same result; cocktail receipted home
by darkey. Excitement at fever heat.
Give bin q whiskey strong, strong"
shouted Twain.
Disappearance Of darkey, ditto cock
tail. Report satisfactory, and the pre-
cious pair but their heads together ant
we're coucocting Q plan to mix liquor.
on tho temperance man, when Mr.. Gougf
entered the bar room, approached ou,
heroes and said:
IL am afraid you rest under . missp
prehension. Seeing that l was beinl
made the victim Of some practical joke,
followed the waiter down, aud saw hin
drink the liquor that suppose yo'
thought had used. You will please re
frain from sending any more up, ss
have not felt the need Of such drinks 70
years"
When the subject is brought up no.
to Twain, he says that the Fat Contrib
utor "retired within himself like
CREASED telescope" but further says tha
he (Twain) was never in Chicago
didn't know there was Sherman House,
etc.
Well--take care of yourself.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

The long, narrow, arched eyebrow is
the prettiest, as we all know, but 1t is
rare. 1t would not be SO rare, however,
if little more care we're taken 10 its
cultivation during early youth. For
instance, if a child's eyebrows should
threaten to be thin, brush them softly
every night with little cocoanut oil, 10
order to give them a curve, press them
gently between the thumb and fore6nger
after every ablution Of the face or hands
Simple as this may seem, have known
the most wonderful effects result from it.
l havo seen girls with wide struggling
eyebrows, reduce them into an arch like
shape within year, solely BY thes'
meaus, and surely all will allow that they
are permissible.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

ABoUr JUGS. Somebody has been
writing . chapter about jugs. Worse
paragraphs "by q jug full" have been
published; The jug is q most singular
utensil. A pail, tumblsr or decauter
may be rinsed, and you may satisfy your.
self BY optical proof lthat the things arc
clean; but jug has little hole in the
top and the interior 10 all darkness. No
eye penetratcs it-uo hand can rove
over its surface. You can clean it only
by putting water into it and sharing i,
up and pouring it out. If tho water
comes out clean, you judge you have
succeeded in purifying the jug, and vice
versa, It's SO Of the human heart. NJ
mortal eye can look into its recess, but
you can Judge of its purity cnly BY wha
comes out Of il.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

A few months ago, man married q
lady of New York for her money. When
he got the money. be loved some body
else, and departed for the trolling prairies
of the West" His earthly possessions
we're burnt up 10 the Chicago fire /; and
then he camo back to New York and put
up at the Astor House without cent in
his pocket. Remorse seised him (,t
must have bseu remorse), and ascertain.
ing the address of bis lawful partner, be
thus wrote to her:
~ am here, aud penniless. Forgive
tho past, aud come to my arms again."
This is what she wrote back:
"ER come ss sooa - I con. Excuse
delay. Eve gone TO have . loaded head
put on tho cane you left"
Ho didn't sait. Remoss sOiseS hin
sgAis, asa carried hiU o.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
fEnMN OF ADVEaT2sa NC.
sample Clerk Wauied in q Drug Stsre,

Jsm B. 10 a vsg A good joke to
Jem is both food and rsiment, and when.
ever there is an opening for fun he goes
into" it.
Jem was recently in a drug store,
when youth, apparently fresh from the
"mountines, entered the store, and at
ouce accosted Jem, stating that be was
10 search Of q job.
"What kind tf a job p inquired the
wag.
30 ! s'mo,t anything. want TO get a
kind of genteeI job I'm tired o farm.
ing and can turn my hand to almost any.
thing"
"Well, We want mana good, strong,
healthy man AS sample clerk"
Whats the wages p
"Wages are good We pay 81 ,0O0 to a
man in that situation"
whats feller got to do"
"Oh merely to test medicines, that's
all. 1t requires q stout msu--snd sfier
he gets used to il he doesn't mind it.
You see we are very particular about the
quality Of our medicines, and before VIC
sell any We test every parcel. You
would be required to take say six or seven
ounces Of castor oil some days, with q
dose Of rhubarb, aloes, crotop oil, and
similar preparations. Some days you
would pot have to do anything but as a
general thing you can count upon say
from six to ten doses Of something daily.
As to tho work, that does not amount to
much. The testing department simply
would be the principal labor required Of
you, and. as | said before, it requires
person Of very healthy organization to
endure it. But you look hearty. and I
guess you would suit US. That young
man (poiu,ing to q very pale faced, slim.
looking youth who happened to be pres
ent, has filed the place two weeks, but he
is hardly stout enough to stand it; We
should like to have you take right hold,
if you are ready; and if you say so, we'll
begin to-day. Hero is a new barrel Of
castor oil just come in. III 60 and draw
an ounce"
Here Verdant. who had been gazing
intsn.ly upon the slim youth, interrupted
him with:
"N-no, no; Iguess not-to- day,
anyhow. III go down and see my aunt /;
and if 'clude to come, III come up ter
morrer and let you know
lie has not yet turned up.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
ALEXIS AS A HERo.-TLe Emperor

ALEXIS AS A HERo-TLo Emperor
third son, Alexis, is in the naval service
Somewhat more than yenr ago, when
holding the rank of midshipman, the
flagship in which he was serving was
wrecked on the coast Of Denmark. The
Admiral ordered the lifeboats to be low
cred, and directed Alexis to take charge
of the first boat. The royal mldship.
man declined to obey the order. 1t was
peremptorily repeated: III, your COM
manding officer, order you in the boat
"Admiral, cannot obey you," said the
young prince. 1T would not become
the son Of the Emperor to be tho frst te
leave the ship. shall remain with you
to the last" "But shall put you un
der arrest for disobedieuce of orders o.
soon as circumstances will allow me to dc
so." II mean no disobedience, but
cannot obey" replied the youthful hero
In time almost the entire crew reached
the shore in safety, only some four or iv'
having perished in the transit from tht
ship. Among the last to land we're tht
Admiral and the Grand Duke Alexis
Tents were hsstily erected from tho sail
and spars saved from the wreck, and th'
rigid discipline Of ship life was prompt,
resumed. The young prince was place'
under arrest for his previous disobedi
ence Of orders. As soon as possible tn
Russian Minister at Copenhagen wa
informed of the facts, aud telegra phe
them to the Emperor, from whom h
received the following reply: ~ approx
Of the act Of the admiral 10 placing tn
midshipman under arrest for disobedi
ence Of orders. and bless and kiss M
son for disobeying them"
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
The Two BOO.blackS.

During . slight lull 10 business the
other day two little bootblacks, one white
and ono black, were standing on a corner
doing nothing, whom the white boot black
agreed to black the black bootblack' .
boots. The black bootblack was of course
willing to have bis boots blaoked by his
fellow bootblack, and the bootblack who
had agreed to black the black boot tblack' =
boots went to work. When the white
bootblack had blacked ono of the black
bootblack's boots till it shone in man
ner that would make any bootblack
proud, this bootblack who had agreed
to black the black bootblAck's boots rs-
fused to black the other boot Of the
black bootblack until the black bootblach
who had consented to have tho white boot
black back bis boots, should add five
cents to the amount the white bootblack
had made blacking other mems boots
This the bootblack whose boot had been
blacked refused to do, saying that It was
good enough for a black bootblack te
have one boot blaoksd, and he didn'
care whether the boot that the bootblacl
uuuu UiscAsu WSb OIuckcu OF uot. I'LL
made the bootblack who had bIacked tn.
black boothlack's boot as angry as boot
black often gets, and he vented his black
wrath BY splitting upon the blacked boot
of the black bootblack. This reused the
latent passions of the black bootblsck
and he proceeded to boot the whit
bootblack with the boot which the whit
bootblack had blscksd. A fight thel
cnsued, in which the white bootblack
who had refused to black the unblacke'
boot Of the black bootblack, blacked tn
black bootblack's visionary organ, and il
which the black bootblack wore all tn
blackipg of his blackod boot in bootin
the white bootblack. The fraternit
Of bootblacks afterwards convened an
denounced the action Of the white an
black beotblack % one of the blackcst i
the pages Of bootblack history.-Cleve
land Leader.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
BE- HAYPY Now.-How old ate you |?
'wenty.fye? Thirty? Arc you happy

BE- HAYpY Now.-How old ate you?
Twenty Thirty? Are you happy
to day2 Were you happy yesterday?
If so you have reason to judge that you
will be happy by and by. Are you so
busy that you have no tue to be happy?
And are you going to DO happy when
you are old, and you have not SO much
to do? No. you will not You have o
specimen Of What you will be when you
ere old. Look IN the face OF day.
That Is about the average. What you
are carrying along with you is what you
will have By and by. If you are SO con-
Quoting yourself that you have peace with
God, and with your fellowmen. and with
your faciliries if every day you insist
that duty shall make you happy, and you
take as much time as is needful for the
culture Of your social faculties, you will
not be exhaustihg life, ard it will be con-
tinually replenished. But # you nre
saving everything up till you get to be
an old man. habit will stand like q tyrant
and say "Ysu would not enjoy yourself
before, and you shall not how" How
many men there are who havo ground
and ground to make money, that they
might be happy by and by. but who,
when they get to be City or sixty years
old, had used up all the enjoyable nerve
that was 10 them? During their early
life thoy carried toll and economy and
frugality to the excess Of stinginsss, and
when the time came that they expected
joy, there was no joy for .hem.-H.W.B
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

We have heard great deal Of highway
outrages of late, but did not deem that
we should be called upon to chronicle
one, but such is the case. A physician
living on Brooklyn Heights vas recently
hurrying homeward, quito late iu the
evening, when q man, apparently drunk,
staggered out of tavern and jos,led him.
The good doctor did not wish to mike a
disturbance, so he stepped aside and let
the drunken man pass on. The mans
condition, however, did not prevent him
from walking qui fast, and he soon left
the doctor behind. The latter suddenly
bethought himself to feel for his watch.
1t was gone!
But he was equal to the occasion.
Taking his pistol from his pocket, he ran
after tho man, overlook and collared
him.
"Now, you rascal" he cried in terri.
BILE voice, "hand out that watch, or
shall put ball into you !"
The man demurred at FIRST, but the
doctors voice and manner we're too much
for him. He saw there was nothing else
20 do. and so he handed out the watch.
When the doctor reached home he told
the adventure to his wife. but, my
dear" said she, you did not take your
. watch with you. There it is on the
table, where you left It'll!
There is no use Of going into further
particulars. The doctor had committed
highway robbery on an unknown man
and that was the best that could be SAID
Of it.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
TO TEACHERS.

NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned
~ Superintendent Of public schools Of Lincoln
county, Mo-, will, in accordance with the school
law Of the State, hold public examination Of
teachers, on the lst Saturday Of every month, at
the court house in Troy, and on those days only
Teachers will please bear this in mind.
W. 8. PENNINGTON. Sup't Public Schools,
Gisn24l Giscoln county, No.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

In the Galaxy, . good story is told Of
q college president, who, meeting on the
cars student whose character for So
briefly was not good, and whose then ap-
pearance evidenced recent debauch, sp
preached him aud solmnly and regret
fully said, "Been on q drunk p "St
have T." was tho immediate reply.
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

A iaday wished . seat. A portlt,
handsome gentleman brought one, and
seated the lady. "Oh ! you'res jewel,
said she. "Oh Ao," he replied "I'au
y jewelss. IhsVs just set tho jewel"
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

When Olive Logan leotured id Nash
Vile, the bill poster stuck one Of her
lecture strips over patent medicine
poster in such way that this surprising
combination resulted:
RHEUMAftsH POSITIVELY CURED IN TEN
DAYS!
try ONE BOTTLE OF
OLIVE LOGAN'S "GlRLS."
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04
THS; PSoToSRAPER. n; SSHP1AE E. ~

TROY, MISSOURI
GALLERY SOUTH OF BALLINGER'S
DSUG STORE.
Photograph Albums and Picture Frames
For Sale at Lowest Prices.
Ne- Call and look at my pictures.
sep7n3e
The Lincoln County herald., 1872-04-04

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Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08
Stick TO tlle Broomstick.

Did you ever see woman throw a
stone at a hen? Ii is one of the most
ludierous scenes in everyday life. We
recently observed the process indeed,
we paid more attention than the hen
did, for she did not mind il at al, and
laid an egg the next day ;gS il nothing
had happened. In fact, the hen will
now know that she served in the capac-
ity of atarget. The predatory fowl had
invaded the precincts OF the flower bed 4,
and was industri0usly peeking and
scratching for the nutritious seed of the
early worm, blissfally unconscious OF
impending danger. ghe lady now APP
pears upon the scene with broom
This she drops, and picks up rocky
fragment of the silurian age, and then
makes her first mistake-they all do it
of seizing the projeetiie with the
wrong hand. Then with malice af0re-
thought, she makes the further blunder
of swinging her arms perpendieuiarly
instead of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the
stone flies into the air, describing an
Irregular elliptical curve, strikes the
surface of the earth as far from the hen
as the thrower stood at the time, in 2
course due west from the same, the hen
then bearing by the compass northeast
by half east. At the second attempt
the stone narrowly missed the head Of
the thrower herself, who, seeing that
any further attempt at the kind would
be suicidal, did what she might have
done at first, started after the hen with
an old familiar weapon. The moral of
which is: stick to the brooastick.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08
How Long Shall We sleep?

The fact is, that, as life becomes con.
centrated, and its pursuits more eager
short sleep and early rising become i'm.
possible. We take more sleep than oul
ancestors, and we sleep more because
we want more. Six hours sleep will dc
very well for ploughman or a brick.
layer, or any other man who has no ex.
haustion but that produced by manual
labor, and the sooner he takes il aftel
his labor is over the better. But for a
man whose labor is mental, the stress
of work is on his brain and nervous sys.
tenn, and for him who is tired in the
evening with a day of mental applica-
ton, neither early to bed nor early to
rise is altogether wholesome. He needs
letting down to the level of repose.
The longer the interval between the
active use of the brain and his retire.
ment to bed, the better his chance OF
sleep and refreShment. To him an
hour after midnight is probably as good
as two before it, and even then his sleep
will not so completely and quickly re-
store him as it will his neighbor who is
physically tired. He must not only go
to bed later, but lie longer. His best
sleep probably lies in the early morn
ing hours, when all the nervous excite
ment has passed away, and he is in alb
solute rest.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08
Pleasant Paragraphs.
Black friarS-Colored cooks.

Black friarS-C0lOred cooks.
Flash language-Telegrams.
Pay your little outstanding earthly
bills, and don't romance about the fall
ing dues OF heaven.
Horace Greeley is vegetarian. Be
ing asked what would restore fading
moustaehe to its original color, he brief
ly responded: ''Diet."
The newest charm Is in the form OF "a
compass, and about the size of a cent.
The oldest charm is in the form of an
encompass, and about the signs OF
assent.
If comfort were the only considera-
this weather, one could get along easily
with pair OF slippers and an umbrella.
The hair on d camel weighs about
ten pounds, and sells for more than
SI00, which shows that it was not only
in the days of MohamIned that the ami
mai bore a great prophet.
Punch advises farmers to sow their
P's, keep their US warm, hive their
BIS, shoOt their is, feed their Ms, look
after their potatoes Ps, and take their
Els, and drink to rye L.
a merchant put an advertisement in
a paper, "Boy wanted" Next morning
he fOuH1 bandbox with an infant in
it on his door step, with this inscrip-
ton, chow will this one answer "'
A gentleman advertised for a wife
and received answers from eighteen
hundred and ninety-seven husbands,
saying he could have theirs. This is
given as an Illustration of the value OF
advertising.
A farmer saw a recipe ;td ertise.i to
prevent wells and cisterns from
freezing. He sent his money and re-
ceived in answer, "Take in your well
or cistern on cold nights and keep it by
the fire."
An Idaho woman was ordered by a
physician to take three ounces of brandy
"a day, and knowing that sixteen
drachms make an ounce, has patiently
been taking forty-eight drinks day
ever since.
"How shall sell my horse ?" said a
jockey to an acquaintance. "His tail
came off in less than six hours after I
bought him." ''Seli him by wholesale,
for no honorable man viii. retail him"
was the reply.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08

A Word TO GIRLs.-The woman
who is Indifferent to her looks, is no
true woman. God meant woman to be
attractive, to look well, to please, and
it is one Of her duties to carry out this
intention of her Maker. Butth dress
Is to do all, and to suffice, is more than
we can be brought to believe. Just be-
cause we do love TO see girls look well
us well as to live TO some purpose, we
would urge upon them such course of
reading and study as will confer such as
no modiste can supply. A well known
author once wrote pretty essay on the
power of education to beautify-that it
absolutely chiseled the features; that
he had seen manya clumsy nose and
I'air of thick lips so modified by thought
awakened and active sentiment as to be
unrecogniZable. And he PUT it on that
ground that we 50 often see people,
homely and unattractive in youth,
bloom in middle life into a softened In
dian summer of good looks and mellow
tones.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08
what L Know about Farming.'

-
what I Know about Farming
Brick Pomeroy, whose early years
were bucolic, says:
81 have read Greeley's What /
Know about Farming through nine
times, twice backwards, and once
standing on my head! Have mastered
it at last, and considered it in a mildeI
shape.
"Never think of blowing less than
nine feet if your mule will pull it. II
you have no team, wait till winter;
then drill and blast. This will pulver-
ize the earth, elevate your land, warm
it, and you will be able to report be-
fore your slow neighbors.
s'Ordinary shoes will do for oxen
when at farm work. Use slippers on
them only when going to church.
''For succotash the young corn and
potatoes should be sliced and planted
in the same hills the year before. Then
take care not to injure the pods when
the fruit is ready to tassel out.
''Pumpkins should be hung on trees
till frost comes, then should be picked,
not shook off, and packed in nsWeet oil.
"When turning grindstones to edu-
cate scythes, never turn the handle
backwards, or the early grass will wilt
before the color comes to it.
in breaking colts, use club-it is
better than a crowbar. A sled stake
viii answer.
"None but ice cream COWS should
wear skates-the heel corks scratch the
calves SO.
Hydraulic rams should be butchered
during sunshine, and the pelts saved
for company.
SIN planting string beans never use
yarn-when once in the throat it is SO
hard TO come up. The same with arti-
chokes and pips in chickens.
''Strawberries should be threShed in
May, and the straw saved for the bees. 7"
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-08

Gov. McCook, who is one of the most
prominent statesman on the Pacific
slope, says: 81 have not been in Cal
ifornia lately, AMI cannot say much OF
the state from personal exreriehce; but
1 am daily in the receipt ol letters from
prominent gentlemen, who know what
they are talking about, and on whose
authority l can rely, and they assure
me that California will give large ma
jority for Gen. Grant in the fall. 4 =
In Nevada, too, Gen. Grant is safe; the
State will give him rousing majority.
1 can say this with confidence, as l have
a personal knowledge of the facts that
warrant me in making the assertion.
In Nebraska the influence of Upton
will not be able to control two hundred
votes, Notwithstanding the. vigorous
|stumping he has made of the State.
Utah and Montana are also sure for the
present administration, and I cannot
see any quarter in which Greeley can
look for success"