Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1872-02-15
PIth and Point.

/ OCT, 070.
SOME people at a crowded evening
party have bellies on their toes. 1t gen
orally hurts them.
"PARr1NG is such sweet sorrow"
particularly with a cracked looking
glass and toothless comb.
A WOMAN lecturer says woman.
sphere is bounded on the north by her
husband, on the cast by her baby, on
the south by her mother-in-law, and on
the west by maiden aunt.
A THEOLOGICAL student wishes to
know if the canons of the church are
what the poets term . Heavens artil-
lery."
If you like practical joking just in
troduce two strangers, previously in
70 ming each that the other is deaf;
but don't stand round.
A VICTIM of Greeley's handwriting
says: IF Horace had written that in
scription on the wall in Babylon, Bel
shazzar would have been a good deal
more scared than he was"
A DRovER, who sells cattle by live
weight, always gives them as much
water as they will drink before driving
them on the scales. That he says,
"is what l understand by watering
stock"
THE Chicago Post says: 4" Benjamin
Franklin was 166 years old yesterday.
He appeared last evening at splritu-
alistc seance, took up copy of the
Times, and glanced through it, hoped
up and exclaimed And invented the
printing press. What an ass | was !"
JOHN c. SAKE is responsible for the
following paraphrase from Martial:
Your nose and your eyes your father gave,
you say,
Your mouth your grandsire, and your mother
meek.
Your fine expressions tell me now, l pray
Where in the name OF Heaven, you got your
cheek
PUNcH's mental philosopt~ What
is mind No matter. What is matter!
Nevermind. What is the nature of the
soul? 1t Is immaterial.
CHOSE who buy tombstones of us
look with pride and satisfaction on the
graves of their friends, is the adver-
tisement of Western stone cutter.
ABACHELoR sea-captain, who was re-
marking one day that he wanted IL good
chief officer, was promptly informed
by young lady that she had no OBJ
iections to be his first mate. He took
the hint-and the lady
OswEGo colored conversation Il
say, Baz, where do de comet rise at?"
" 1t rises in de forty-second meridian
of de frigid zodiac, and laid down in de
comic almanac. "Well, where does
it set, Baz2" ''Set, you black fool, it
doesn't set nowhere. When it get.
tired of shining, it goes into its hole. "
A GENTLEMAN in search of man to
do some work met on his way highly
respectable lady, not az young as she
once was and asked her, "Can you tell
me where | can find man ~ "No, |
cannot, she replied, "for | have been
looking these twenty years for one my
self"
THIS is what the Boston Traveller
/ SAYS: "The Hartford Post is again
swapping at the Traveller. John, hand
us that squirt gun" And this is what
the Boston Post says in return: "Now,
then, the Boston Traveller is going to
have some editorial matter. They've
sent John for the editor. -
MADAM" said cross tempered
physician to patient, If women were
admitted to paradise their tongues
would make it purgatory." And
some physicians, if allowed to practice
there, ;" replied the lady, would make
it a desert" The oppressed one had
him there.
BRASToME thus enumerates the quail
tiles of female beauty Three white
attractions, the skin, teeth and eyelids;
three red, the lips, cheeks and nails
three long, the body, hair and hands
three short, the teeth, ears and feet
and three broad, the chest, forehead
and space between the EYES.
FANNY FERN writes with reference to
the expensive toys now in vogue:
1.-The doll of my bib days was a
crooked-necked squash, with a towel
for a dress and a numerous progeny Of
little cucumbers for babies and | was
just as happy, and a great deal better
contented. than the little girl OF to-day
with 500 Paris doll.
The following notice was served
upon northern school teacher IN Texas
recently, signed by some eight or ten
of the large boys, three of them be-
tween seventeen and twenty years of
age. I'VE, the undersigned, require
yor. to treat to bushel Of pecans, five
pounds of raisins, and three Of candy.
If you refuse Ne viii put you in the
deepest hole 81 water within one nile
Of the school-louse.
A KANSAS papers cow obituary says
There is not fern wagon in the
country she has not stolen something
ont IL not q cate in town she has not