Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-08-17
NUMBER ~.


otI Lax pu1llSHllltHt-ES e-liSneS.
A SMART thing-A mustard plaster.
IF man wants 10 sleep hard he must
take a soft bed.
MorTo for the tea merchant-Honcst st
tea is the best policy.
The modest man will not parade his
own excellence lest he should offend.
WHY is the early grass like u pen
knife? Because the spring brings out
the blades.
Crows and blackb birds are the bravest
creatures that fly they never show the
white feather.
The difference between October and
November is, that while with October
leaves fall, with Novem ber the fall
leaves.
| A FURNITURE man is said to be the
LATEST member of society, because he
keeps chairs and lounges about all d"v.
A YOUNG lady suggestiveIy remark
i" If it was not good for Adam to live
single when there wasn't woman on
earth, what shall be said of old bache-
lors with the world full of pretty girls?"
"MAssA CRIsorER CLUaBUs was "a
queer man." said old Pompey-"a berry
queer man one day notion crossed
| him, and den he up and crossed an
ocean,"
A MICHIGAN switch tender, caught
mapping at his post, and convicted of
| willful negligence, said to the jailer
who was about to lock him up, 81 al
ways supposed that the safety of a rail
road depended on the soundness of it's
sleepers" $50 it does" retorted the
taller, "but such sleepers are never safe
unless they are bolted in.'
A WESTERN man at q prayer meet
ing" said, somewhat enviously
" Brother Lawson can sing better than
| can, but by the grace of Heaven | can
fiddle his shirt Off"
AN advertisement in a Western paper
informs the public that board for the
summer can be obtained eat large
and shady brick gentleman's residence
in the country"
"GEoRGE," asked the teacher OF
Sunday school class, "Who above all
others shall you wish first to see when
YOU get to Heaven With face
Frightening up with anticipation, the
little fellow shouted "Gerliah ~
ARTEMus WARD was on a slow Califor
mia train, and he went to the conductor
and suggested that the cow catcher was
on the wrong end of the train; for,
said he, "You will never overtake 81
COW, you know, but if you'd put it on
the other end, it might be useful, for
now there's nothin' on earth to hender
a cow walkin right in and bitin' the
folks !"
A PARTY of men, animatedly engaged
in discussing politics before an uptown
store, the other morning, attracted the
attention of an aged agrcultnrist.
"Ther's sumthin the matter here he
observed to his wife. And drawing up
his team, he lightly shouted to con
sumptive individual on the outskirts,
"What's afoot ~ "Twelve inches,"
was the sardonic reply. The aged agrl-
culturist drove on.
SIR TeBY reports the case of good
little boy whose parents encouraged his
habit of early retiring by permitting
him to take cake to bed with him. One
evening he astonished his atiectlonate
mother by the following prayer:
Now lay me down to sleep.
pray the Lord my soul TO- Keep.
If I should die before | wake,
Give sister Jane my piece OF cake,
A CORRESPONDENT of Baltimore paper
wants to know why marriages and
death notices should be paid for? For
the best of reasons : one is an advertise
ment of copartnership and the other is
notice of dissolution. Business Is
business.
AN Eastern man locked his wife up in
a room and sent his son to her with u
bone. The youth said; "Mother,
father sent this up, and says here is a
bone for you to pick" The gentle
mother replied: "Take it back and
tell him | say he is not your father, and
that is a bone for him to pick"
"PoMrEY, can you tell me in what
building people are most likely to catch
cold? why, no me stranger IN de
town and can't tell dat" "Well, |
will tell you; it ic the bank" " How
is dat 2" because there is SO many
drafts in it," d" Dat is good; but can
you tell me what makes so many drafts
in it?" "No." because SO many 80
dere to raise thewind.'