Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-06-27
How the Deacon Got Caught.

anu WulCu 10 QSdlG OuG oO uucR Reii1h g.
at every corner during the heated
term, is considered, to use their OWL
language, "thin drink" But al
this ingenious mixture of wind anc
water is termed "thin, strong Ii
quors, such as whiskies, are altogethe,
too "thick" for a steady warm wealth
er drink, and so the imbiber who
must moisten his fues" with some
liqui refreshment, seeks pleasant
combination of the two classes o.
drink, which forms happy comb
nation that exhilarates, yet is not in.
toxicating. 1t is customary among
these bibulous go-betweens to enter q
drug store, call for soda water, name
their syrup, at the same time giving
a wink to the dispenser Of "slush,
who takes the goblet, in which he
places the syrup, then s.oops down
beneath the counter or retires to a
back room, where, by some mysteri-
Gus chemical change, the contents are
colored darkly, and the soda is then
let in upon the mixture, which is
handed 70 the customer with wink
from The clerk. Somuch for the pro-
cess; now for the sequel.
Saturday, a venerable gentleman
from the country, who is respecta-
bic church deacon, Justice of the
Peace, a member of the band Of
Hope" and Good Templar in his
native village, came to this city to
trade a little in dry goods and pur-
chase such agricultural implements
as he needed to plant and cultivate
his spring crops. The deacon isstrict-
ly temperate, and never looks upon
the wine when it is red any more than
he does when it is any other color.
Unfortunately, our old friend had suf-
fered from opthalmia in his early
days, which left him with an optical
popularity which caused his left up
per eye-iid to drop every few seconds,
and, to those not familiar with his in
trinity, gave him the appearance of
winking Intentionally.
The "deac" is passionately fond of
soda-water and such light beverages.
He loves to feel the gaseous compound
coursing down his throat, and crea-
ting internal connections and ty-
phoons, that, however endurable by
older persons, throw babes into ago
ny, and require prompt doses of pep
permint so Saturday, after he had
bought few shovels, plows, and a
Doll Warden for.lris wife, he thought
he would fiji up with soda water and
drive on towards home. He entered
a drug store, inquired the price Of the
desired refreshment, then deposited
his scrip and awaited his mixture.
What syrup do you want?" said
the urbane clerk, rs he mopped off
the marble counter with he same
towe' he used a moment before to re-
move the honest sweat from his brow.
"Oh! give Ine sassaparilly that is
about ashealthy asanything, | guess.
(Here the deacon 8 eye-lid went back
on him and dropped quicl:ly.)
call right" replied the fountain
tender, as he disappeared below the
counter and came up a. moment later
with the drinking glass containing
about three fingers Of sassaparily,"
to which he added the other ingredi-
ents, and handed it to the deacon,
The latter drained the contents to the
very dregs, then brushed the troth
from his mouth, smacked his lips, and
said: "That syrup isa leetle stronger
than they generally make it, but my
blood is out of order, and l guess Ill
take another glass at the same time
his eye-lid Auttered meaningly as be-
fore.
The dose was repeated, and the So
da-water bibber letc the shop. About
half an hour later he entered another
establishment where sign announced
soda and Mineral Water on Draught.
1t was noticed the deacon W liked as
il he had the string-halt as he entered
the door, and his spectacles were up
side down on his nose. He called fol
Congress water at that place. say
ing he "did not feel quite right, and
was afraid he had used too much sy-
rup in his soda water at the other
store, or else he was bilious" His
optical weakness exhibited itself as
he spoke, and returnlngthe wink, the
clerk retired to a dark closet, then
returning, filled mp the glass with
plain Congress, and gave it to oul
now tiglltually slight" friend, who
swallowed it without murmur.
How many soda's" the deacon
stored away before he left the city
we are unable to say, but he was
found late in the day. asleep in II, hl'
wagon, with plow point f for aPill0w
and several yards of Dolly Warden
calico gracefully draped about hi;
person for a covering. He revived
sufficiently to inform Il stranger thai
ne had been" drugged," and a sub.
sequent visit to the localities where
he had taken soda water developed
the fact that his unfortunate habit O.
winking-a defect over which he hac
no control-was the cause of ali hi'
trouble. The soda water dispenser
supposed him to be "one Of the boys,
and every time his eye-lid dropped
took the hint. The deacon escaped
the "jim-jams," but says hereafter
be will wear a binder over that eye
when he purchases summer drinks
or else write his order On slate
Cleveland Leader.
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