davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20
Jim Fisk's Jokes.
Some .4musing Incidents in the LIFE q
the Erie Prince.

Some .4musing Mcidtats in tie LIE q
the Erie Prince.
iEli Perkins in the Commercial Advertiser
20 GRAVEYARD FENCE.
Somsbody in Brattleboro came down to
New York to ask Fisk for a donation to
help them build a new fence around the
graveyard where he is now buried.
"What in thunder do yon want q new
fenss fer O. exclaimed the colonial, WAY
ihat old fsxcs will keep the dead people in,
Esd livss people will keep cut as long as
thsy can, any way
When Fisk was about 10 years Of age
he kept . small market staui in Benning-
ton, VI Ono day the eminent steamboat
man, Daniel Drew, came to the market
with his basket on his arm. lie asked
yonng Fisk if his eggs were fresh "lou
bot, I" replied tho ingenious boy, pop
pulled them of the vines this morning. ="
"Givs mo dozen, sonny, replied Mr.
Drew. The next stall was kept by little
Eljphalst Buekram Is this pumpkin
COED, my sou 2" asked the venerable stock
broker. 1t is q good enough Morgan. p"
answered the truthful child, "but. sir, if
you will examine that portion concealed
from too scrutiaizing view. BY contact
with the board, forming tho counter Of the
stall, you will see that there is a bad spot
in it," docs not that seem unbusiness.
like, my child, to cry down your own
wares ?" asked the kind. hearted million.
airs. "My saintSd mother told me must
never tel lie with my little hatchot, re-
sponded Eliphalst Buckram. Tho rich
aaan was moved to tears; he took on! his
purse and gave Eliphalet Buckrsm a pat
on ths bead and said he was coed boy
Whsn hs had gone, Eliphalst Bu0kram
said 10 little James, 30 james. what
made ySu toll such q fs? You know
shsss eggs were laid three weeks ago. You
wiiistSe1has / have gained . customer. and
you have lost one," Well, when EiphA-
let went ihoms, his stspmo,her came to the
door aud said = Here you are. you lazy
little snsak, and you haven't sold that pan
kin yeti I'll punkin you = And she
took him in her s,epmo,herly arms and
tanned him with an OK goad until he said
he would prefer taking his meals off the
msutlepieco for the next few consecutive
days TO sitting down with the rest Of the
family. And next day Daniel Drew came
into tho market Ca rearin' and tear
in = as oil inhaLitauts say,) and said
Where is the boy that sold mo those
eggs, sh - and jim Fisk pointed to Eli
phalst and said "There he is sir. and
Daniel Drew reinforced that boys step
mothers OK g0ad with his cane NO efcclu.
ally that-but never mind So Daniel
Drew bought all his garicn sass Of Jim
Fisk. In after life Eliphalc, Buckram SET
upa grocery store. and gave trust to all
the poor people, and nerer sanded hi, su-
gar. and w.uldn'. qualify his rum with
water; so he burst up. and tho Sheriff sold
huHzOnt and he went to tho poorhouse
Bat Daniel Drew kept his eyeou Jim Flsk
snltby .aad-by he gave hima partnership
in the Erie firm, and jim beat him out OF
81 100000. This is not story for good
little boys. We fear it is too near the
truth,
FISK s LAST JOKE.
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20
FISK LAST JOKE.

The day before Fisk was shot he came
into the office, aud after looking over some
intsrsst account be shouted. Gould
Gould r.
"Wsll. what ?" ssys Gould, strokin
his jstty whiskers.
81 want to know how you 20 to work
to figure this intsrast 50 that il amounts IL
,oors than the principal = sail the colo.
mel.
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20

Are endorsed and prescribed by more leading
Physicians than any othertonic Or slim ulant now
in use. They are a SURE PREVENTATIVE
for Fever and Ague. lntermittents, Billousness
and all disorders arising from Miasmatie causes.
They are highly recommended as an ant-dyspep.
tic aud in eases of indigestion are invaluable as
an Appetizer and Recuperant, and in eases of gen
,ral debility they have never in single instance
failed in producing the most happy results, They
are particularly BENEFICIAL to FEMALES,
strengthening the body. invigora.ing the mind
aud giving tone and elasticity to the whole sys-
tenn The HOME BIT TERS are compounded
with the greatest care. and DO Tonic Stinulant
has ever been offered TO the public so pleasant to
the taste and at the same time combining so many
remedial agents, indOrsed by the medical fraterni
ty as the best known to the Pharmaoopgia. 1t
costs little TO give them fair trial and
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20

Come up BAY keepers -s"Ioon-keep-
ers--Or ny other keeper,
Speak or here'e9er hold your peace.
NOR Sale to sos.' = consignment 8 bbls.'
l. John Cochr'hs Robnson County white
Whiskey-as pure as the =" lilley of the val
ley" or the drivetln That Tom Quin or
Dan Sweeney o4 writ smith, "or any other
man" that ever apied, can endorse it.
Or JudW O-~~
whom vi aknows
is ,judge of good --r--rs canoe consulted at
his office on the subject For sale by
G.. AUSTIN
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20

- A Western editor speaks Of his ri.
Wales mean enoagh to steal the Swill
from blind hog T. Tho rival retoI,s by
saying, (" He knows he lies; / never stole
his swill T.
-- What nose 10 more brilliant than
. ,opsr's nsssi Why. volca nos, to be
sure. Pat remarks that the ehisi glow si
each comes from the crater.
''Sambo, my massa always trabbls
yours sbsr stay at home. "Da. berry
true jim but you know what Dc prcverb
say. Rolin stone Radders no moss. "
"Ns, Sambo. but it yadder polish. an dat
am . qualification ysur massa stan berry
mach in need OBJ"
- A party Of wits enes stopped at a
tavern. When the feast was over one Of
the members called in the hostess. MAD
am," said he, =" am going to give you q
lesson 10 astrensmy. Rave you not read
Of the great Plantenis year. when every
thing must return to it's farmer condition
Kasw. then. that in 10000 years We shall
bs here sgain on the same day, and at the
same hour. Will you credit US till them
Tbs hostess. however. had her reply.
IL an perfectly willing" she retorted
but is is Just l6, 900 ysars since you were
here before, and you left without paying
Settle ths old scOre. aud ] will trust ysr
fox ths new"
-- An Irish .locier sdvsrti.ss that al
persons afflicted with deafness may hssl
Of him ia lease on Diffsy street. wher,
also blind bersons may see him daily irsm
thsss u ten oclock.
= n Wits bal in age. what must il
toath.
The Van Buren press., 1872-02-20
Every Family should have Bottle.

We ask every one to read the following ceItih
cate, flom many Of the most eminent physicians in
the c, ,untry
Sr Louis, July ls10-JAMEs \. JACKSON.
d Co. Gentlemen As you have communicated
to tue medical profession the recipe Of the Home
Bittrrs" ii cannot, therefore, be considered as n
secret or patent medicine, no patent having been
taken for IT, We have examined the formula for
making the " Home Biiters, and unhesitatingly
say the combination is one Of rare excellence all
the articles used in its composition the best of
the class to which they belong, being highly Ton
ic Simulant, Stomachie, Carmniative slightly
Laxative. The mode of preparing them is strict.
ly in accordance ith the rules Of pharmacy. Hav-
ing used them, seen its effect in our private prac.
ticc we take pleasure in recommending them to
all persons desirous Of taking Bitters, as being
the best Tonic and Stimulant now offered to the
public:
l.. Oh. Boislinicre, NJ D. F. G. Porter, NJ D.
Alfred Heacock. NJ d. q. Gerrcke. NJ. y.
Drake Mcdowell. NJ. D. G. A. Ware, NJ D.-
J. O Whitehill. NJ, d +. A. Clark. NJ. d,
DIR. G. We. Ludwig, 5. q. Moses, NJ. u.
VA. Wilcox. N, D. Hurbert Prmm,
L.. \. MAREAS HOSPITAL. St. Luuis, Mo-, Oct.
=, ls70--JAMfs a. JACKSON & Co.: have ex-
aned the formula for making the " Home Stomach
Bitters, )" aud used them IN this Hospital for the
last four months. lconsider them the most valua-
bile tonic and stlnulaht now ~ use.
II. MELCHER.
ST. LorTs July C, lS70-.JAMEs A. JACKSON
SCo Having examined the formula from which
vour celebrated Stomach Bitters" are prepared,
and having witnessed the method Of combining
the diTsNnt ingredients, we can safely recommen d
them n, the best tonic with which we are acq ua H.
ted From the great care with which they are
compounded, and from the choice materials which
enter into them, we have no doubt that they will
prove, as they deserve to be- the most popular ton
ic and 'timulant in use.
Respectfully yours.
T j. yastinc, VI. D. iT. g. Comstrck, NJ. D.
We cheerfully concur with every word contain
ed in the above testimonial
John Councilman, NJ. d. John Hartman, NJ D.
Chas Vastine NJ D. John T. Temple, ND.
G. 9. Walker, NJ. D. +. Q. Franklin, NJ. D,
For Sale By all Druggists and Grocers.
Jas A. Jackson & Co, Proprictors.
Laboratory los and l07 n I'd Street
june 2O'7lyl sT. LOUIS, MO.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
A CUsTOMHOrsE.
What our Congressman q doing for Us
An Appropriation of I've Hun
dred Thousand Dollars.

Mr.. Vaughan, our member of Con-
gress, writes to Colonel Prison, Presi-
dent of the Chamber of Commerce, that
he expects to be able to secure, during
the present session of Congress, the pas
sage of the following bill upon which
the cOmmitte Is prepared to report IA
vorably:
A bill 20 provide a building suited to the use
OF the custOmhOuse, pOstOfice, the pension
and revenue officers, and the Judicial officers
OF the United states, In the city Of Mem
Be q enacted 6y the Senate and House
Of RspreseatGtiUes Of The United States
Of america IN Congress assembled, That
the Secretary of the Treasury be, and
he is hereby authorized and directed to
cause to be constructed a suitable build
ing. fire-pTOOf, at Memphis, Tennessee,
for the accommodation of the custom
house, postOffice, United States Circuit
and District Courts, pension and inter-
nal revenue officers; and for this pur-
pose there is hereby appropriated, out of
any money in the treasury not other
wise appropriated, the sum of two hum
dred and fifty thousand dollars, to be
expended under the direction of the
Secretary of the Treasury, who shall
cause proper plans and estimates TO be
made, which shall be approved by the
Secretary Of the Treasury, Postmaster-
General, and Acknowledgements: Pro-
Cidod, That no money hereby appropr1-
ated shall be used or applied for the pur-
pose until valid title TO the land for the
site of such building shall be vested in
the United States, and until the State OF
Tennessee shall also duly release and
rellnquish 10 the United States the
right TO tax, or In any way assess, said
site, or the property Of the United States
that may be thereon, during the time
that the United States shall he or re-
main the owner thereof.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
NASHVILLE.
The Industrial ExpOsitiOn-Hberal Meet
ing-Eseape OF Conflicts.

Special 70 the Appeal s. -
NASHVILLE, May 6.-Excurslon tick.
cts 10 the Nashville Grand Exposition
viii be issued "Wednesday morning, the
eighth instant, aud continue for two
weeks. The half-fare rates embrace
Tennessee and all the cities and States
south, northeast and west; they include
a visit to the exposition and an excur-
sion to the Mammoth Cave. Mrs. James
X. Polk visited the exposition to-day.
1t is increasing in interest and attend
anee. Operatic performances will be
given In the building each Saturday
night, commencing with Norma on the
night Of the eleventh. Immense attend
ance tonight, and interesting occasion.
The Reunion-Reforme held meet
ing tonight to determine what course
they shall pursue, but utadjourned without
definite action. They are to meet again
on the twentieth instant.
Ten eonvicts escaped from the Sewanee
mines to-day. One was killed, one
crippled, one captured, sand seven are
still at large.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
WASHINGTON GOSSIP.

The Circuit Court at Charleston has
adjourned. A special term has been or
dered for August.
The Supreme Court delivered a few
I decisions Of minor importance and adj
| iOurned till October 2Sth. A number OF
important cases go over till the fall ses-
sion.
( While the Democrats i'm Congress are
( agreed that the Fourth of July shall be
/ the time for the assembling of the Ma
/ tional Convention, they are not in har-
mOny as 10 the place. st. Louis, Louis
vile and indianapolis are respectively
named.
Tie Senate has confirmed William
Bertran, of Missouri, Consul to Monte
VideO, Rev. J. Evans United States At
tOney for Western Texas, Thomas B.
Shannon Collector at San Francisco,
cock, Michigan.
The House Committee on Elections
to-day unanimously agreed 10 report in
favor of Geddings (DemOcrat) against
Clark, the sitting member from the
Third District Of Texas, and also in favor
Of a. w. Wilkie, the sitting member
from the Fourth South Carolina Dis
trict, retaining his seat.
The House Committee on Patents has
under consideration the prOpriety Of ex-
tending TOWles' TOck-drill patent, which
expired last month after an existence Of
twenty-One years. There Is strong Op-
position 10 its further extension, as the
matter affects the interest Of all railroad
and mining companies.
4 memorial was presented in the
House to-day, from about three thou
sand citizens of Utah, protesting against
the admission Of the Territory into the
Union. 1t is accompanied by the affi-
davits of thirty apOstate MOrmons
against Brigham Young and the Nor
mon Church.
WASHINGTON, May 6:-Mr. Poland
to-day introduced an amendment TO the
constitution of the United States, pro-
viding that no Senator nor Representa-
tive shall during the time for which he
was elected, be chosen as President nor
Nice-President, nor shall any Judge of
any United States Court be chosen Presi-
dent or Nice-President within two years
OF the termination of his Judicial Office.
The House Committee on Approprla-
tiOns this morning had under cOnsidera-
ton the Senate amendment to the def
cheney of the Appropriation bill, and
voted TO recommend the concurrence in !
the one which relates 10 the pay of
government wOrkmen, and the non
in the sO-called Morrill,
restricting the Jurisdiction
of the Court of Claims TO eases COM
menced within two years after the sup
preston of the rebellion, by constantly
loyal claimants.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
IN THE House

Many bills Of no general interest were
introduced, the reading Of which con-
sumed most of the morning hour, which
had been devoted TO action on Mr..
HOoper's supplementary service bill.
Mr.. Eldridge, by way Of sarcasm on
Messrs. Kelly and Maynard, sent up
their substitute for the tariff and tax
bill, altered, 10 read: "To further in
crease the taxes and encourage nlonOpO-
lies, without adding to the reVenue;''
the readingOf which Mr.. Cox demanded,
and which etlectually used up the morn
ing hour.
Mr.. Dawes moved to suspend the
rules and adopt a rule making il the or
der, in the consideration of the tariff bill
TO treat asa single paragraph the various
items relating to iron, sheet-eopper.
wOolens, and manufactures of cotton,
50 that substitute might be offered re-
lating TO each Of those subjects as a
Whole.
After an explanation by Mr. Dawes,
and opposition by Messrs. Cox, Brooks
of New York, Kerr and Banks, as a log
rolling proposition, the rules were not
suspended-yeas IS, nays l21.
Mr.. Ely introduced bill TO add to tht
United States election Law provision
that list Of supervisors Of elections
shall DO submitted 10 the Representa-
tives in Congress nom their districts
who shall have the right Of peremptory
challenge Referred 10 the Judiciary
Committee.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
CONGRESSIONAL NOTES.
WAsHINGrON, Mag
IN THE SENATE.

IN THE SENATE.
Senator Sumner moved to take up the
bill prohibiting distinction on account
Of race or color in the public schools Of
Washington and Georgetown. Lost.
On motion Of Senator Sawyer the bill
providing that the next Federal election
in Louisiana be held on the first Mon
day i'm November, the same day as the
State election, was taken up.
Senator Trumbull opposed the bill as
setting bad precedent, which might be
abused for political purposes.
AT the expiration of the morning hour
the postofiice appropriation bill came up
as unfinished business, the pending ques-
ton being the amendment increasing
the subsidy for mail service TO Brazil to
four hundred and fifty thousand dol
lars, and providing for seIui-mOnthly
service.
An amendment by Senator Ferry, re-
ducing the amount to three hundred
thousand dollars, was adopted.
Senator Wisdom stated that the ser
vice could not be performed for that
sum, and had leave to Withdraw all the
amendments offered by the COMMITTEES,
thus leaving the item as it came from
the House.
The amendment appropriating five
million four hundred and fOrty-nine dol
lars for the postoffice deficiency was
agreed TO.
The amendment abOlishing the frank
ing privilege after the first of next Janu-
AIRY was tabled-yeas -, nays %.
Neas-Messrs. Bayard, Blair, Buck
ingham, Caldwell, Carpenter, Cameron,
Clayton, Cooper, COrbett, Cragin, Davis
West Virginia. Edmunds, Gilbert,
GOldthwaite, Hitchcock, Johnson, Kel-
ly, Logan, Norwood, Nye, PomerOy,
Rice, Sawyer, Spencer, Stevenson,
Stewart, NickeTs, West, Windom-29.
Nays-Messrs. Alcorn, BOreman, Cas-
serly, Chandler, Cole, COnkling, FentOn,
Ferry Connecticut, Ferry lMichiganl
Flanagan, Hamilton 1rexasl, Hamil-
ton, Horton, Morton, Pratt, Ramsey,
SehurZ, Scott, Sherman, SpFague, VIII
son, Wight.
The section prohibiting persons who
have held Office in any executive depart
ment Of the government acting as attOr-
ney, solicitor or agent In theprOsecutiOn
Of any claim against the United states
was struck out.
Senator Cole offered am amendment
to the bill appropriating four hundred
and twenty-five thousand dollars per
annum, for ten years, for mail service
between san Francisco and Australia,
but on the motion Of Senator Chandler
il was tabled. The bill having been
considered in the Committee Of the
Whole, ID was reported to the Senate,
aud the senate then went into execu-
tive session and soon after adjourned.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07
eGREELEY. M
Congratulations from TrHmbull and
FentOn-W What the Tribune viii do.
The London Times Teiegraphs the Post
and News ON the Nomination Of
the Philosopher.

WAsHINGToN, May 6.--The New
/ York Sun publishes the following con-
gratulatory telegrams to Mr.. Greeley:
WAsHINGToN, May /, 1872.
To Horace Greeley
warmly welcome your nomination,
and predict your election.
r. z. FENTON.
TAsHINGroN, May 4, 1873.
To Horace Greeley;
Allow me to congratulate you on be
ing selected to lead the movement,
which, BY the viii of the Teople and
Gods blessing, is to reform and purify
the government.
LYMAN TRUMBULIA
The New York Tribune says; There
are those who insist that the TIi6JHHe's
avowed purpose to be hencefOrth some
what other than a partisan gladiator,
will be overbOrne By the unexpected
nomination made at Cincinnati. 1t
means to disappOint them. Its convie-
tions on grave public questions will
still, when occasion invites, be eX-
pressed with due frankness, but IL viii
try to give those who differ from it so
fair and full a hearing that they shall
have no reason, and rarely preteXt,
for complaint.
Whitelaw Reid received the following
telegram from Senator FentOn at Wash
ington, several hours before the nomi-
nation: my judgment at Cincinnati in
regard to Greeley's nomination is hour
ly confirmed. / find, upon my return
here, all the encouragement / had rea-
son to hope for then. Let me repeat to
you and others that his nomination will
be triumphantly indorsed by the Amer
lean people"
LONDON, May 6.-The morning papers
comment on the nomination of Horace
Greeley for President of the United
States by the Liberal Republican Con-
vention at Cincinnati.
The Times says the nomination of
Greeley is farcical and that his election
is hopeless. 1t, however, kills Presi-
dent Grants chance for reelection and
makes certain the nomination of can
didate by the Democrats.
The Post argues that Greeley will he
successful if his nomination is indOrsed
by either of the other conventions yet
to be held, but the Post thinks it impos-
sible.
The IelegTdph says the nomination of
Greeley directly concerns England be-
cause he is hostile to the Treaty of
and is bigoted protec-
ZIONIST.
The Netcs praises Greeley but doubts
his fitness for the position of Chief Mag
istrate Of this great nation.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07

4 CORREsPoNDENT, writing from
New Albany, Mississippi, on the second
instant, says; Il am much pleased
with your position in relation to the
presidential election, and especially as
to the folly of Democrats holding a con-
ventiOn and nominating Democratic
candidate for President, which would
secure beyond doubt the triumphant
election Of Grant. With earnest support
from all parties, conservative and mod
crate, the Cincinnati candidate will be
elected" Our correspondent is right
1t only needs Democratic help to make
the Greeley ticket certain. We prom
ised that helpa month ago, and must
give il
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1872-05-07

naIly. You have spared me the awkward
feeling Of any public demonstration, and FOR
this YOU have my most sinccre thanks. Re
assiilssI gen tlenlen. that the splendid animal
aud no less splendid trappings which you
have fresentef me with shall De used In The
public service in that manner which viii re-
dOund most to the common good and TO your
gratihcation. 1 accept this very fine mare,
with her costly trappings, as a present 10 me,
an officer OF The peace, from gentlemen who
understand the difficulties and hardships of
the pirffic service, and who can appreciate
at their proper value every honest effort made
TO discharge duty faithfully aud efficiently.
4 hope that my future course may prove me
worthy Of your esteem and respect.
With heartfelt thanks, remain, gentlemen,
yours truly,