The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-05-13
Love without Nonsense..Nota BIT Like
a Novcl.-A Capital Takc-OH OH the
Mich.Pressnre style Of Doing 1t.


Love without Nonsense..Not Bit Like
a Noycl-A Capital Takc-OH OH the
RIigh.Pressnre style Of Doing It.
Once upon a time there was fair young
maiden whose name was Mary. although they
called her Mol, tor short. She wasn't tall.
dark-eyed maiden, with clear, Transparent
skin, and lips like cherries, and cheeks SUI
fused with bushes. She didn't have glossy
black hair, sweeping back in wary tresseS
from her queenly brow, and her form WASH t
q bit like Hebe's. No, there was none oi
those things-On the contrary, she was short
and thin, and had red hair and freckles, and
she also sportcd snagglc teeth and wore pads,
but still she was /, right nice girl, and there
was Young man who fell in love with her,
and his name was Bill, although his friends
called him William when they wanted to hurt
his feelings, for he didn't like it much. Tic
wasn't fine looking, and had neither curly
brown hair nor moustache. Not much.
Bill laid himself out on soap-lOckS, and wore
a goatee that he had dyed twice week.
Now this Bill was in love with Mary, but
did he 20 and make deliberate ass of him.
self Did he. / say, 60 into grove with
her, and in the soft moonlight, by the
streamlet that murmurcd sweetly by, and
with the tender zephyrS signing through the
foliage, fall down OH his knees. seize her
iewellei hand, and breathe his deep affection
in the tender accents of fond attachment,
and swear "by yon bright orb above us,
always to be thine? Did he, say! You
can Just bet he didn't. You can lay out
your whole revenue safely on that. William
knew too much about the price of pants to
70 Hopping around OH the wet grass with
his good clothes OH besides, he never cared
anything about streanlctS or any kind of
cold water, except to mix with his gin. No,
sir il was exceedingly strange. but this in
fatuated William met her at the alley gate
and he stood right up on his old legs and
says: "Say, Moll, old gal, s'posen we yet
hitched:"
But how did Mary behayey Did she 60
dropping to sleep over Oh the bricks in Il dead
faint, or did she hide her gentle head on his
shirt bosom to conceal her bushes? No, she
didn't, and she didn't say, Pm ever thine,
nv own love, dear William. - oh, my, 10.
She looked right in his yellow eyes. and says:
Pm in, Billy Pm the gal for these sort Of
things. Go in!" And instead of referring
him to her father, she only said /: Wont the
old man bust right out when you tell him
fia Ina !" and she laughed. But she didn't
ask William TO try to mollify her fond father
No. no. She very wickedly advised him to
"poke the old man in the nose if he gave him
any OF his lip She was funny girl, this
Mary.
Now, the old man wasn't wealthy, for he
sold soap-tat for living. and so he didn't
think Bill was nOsiny around after his
stamps; SO when Bill asked him he neither
ordered him tiercely away, nor did the dewey
moisture gather in his eagle eye dis he passed
bis hemstitched up there and said "BleSs
you, my children, bless YOU !" Oh, no, no.
thing Of the sort. lie just blew his old red
nose in his bandanna and told Bill to take
her along, for he was glad to get rid of her,
he was, and William would be the same way
mighty soon, for she was awful rough on
victuals, and always broke plates when she
got mad.
So, you see, there really was no necessity for
William to come at midnight's solemn hour
III cab, and throw Il rope-ladder up to her
window and whistle three times ON his 1in
gers, and then 60 up, hand-over-hand, and
bring her down in one hand and her trunk il
the other, and handbook and an umbrella
under each arm and whole lot of bundles
and then get into the cab and fly to some dis
tant shore. That's the way it would have
been in a novel; but Bill said he wasn't OF
and out of pure joy. he skinned the cat tire,
or four times on the grapevine arbor, ant
then went and got in his butcher cart ant
drove Mary right down to the magistrate. t,
get the Job done for qlartcr-he said h,
was some on low prices, he was.
But the very queerest thing CT all was
that Bill had no tall, dark, rufianly rival
with scowling visase and black whiskers
who flew at him with drawn dagger and
horse-pistol in each hand, and q mutteret
curse upon his lips, and cried wildly fol
Revenge" Ha! ha anti said death !:
and Villain, thou dest!" Not any. There
was another fellow in love with Mollie, to be
sure, but he was weakened young man
who had sandy hair. and wore spectacles ant
choker-collar, and always looked scared
when you hallooed at him. So when he saw
that Bill had the best Of the girls affections
helooked all serene, and said: $50 In, Billy
If you banker for her;" and as Bill was
tribe Oh the banker, he sailed right in.
SO William, you see, had no trouble at all
and you couldn't get up an agonizing move
about him il you tried. He didn't have an,
urgent business that called him to a foreign
land, and SO he had to bid her fond good
bye, and swear always to be true, and thel
60 away and forget her, and fall in love witt
dark-eyed Italian girl, picking grapes in
vineyard, with square towel folded on he
head, while his forgotten and forsaken Mar,
gradually faded and pinned away, and baffieii
the physicians skill, and grew paler, and a
last, when the June roses were in bloom
lying gently down to die, while through tn,
open window h0ated in the balmy odor O
lessamine and honeySuckle. And William
didn't come home at last, and filled will
deathless remorse. go daily to the sweet GENE
terry and strew flowers OH her grave, an(
teach his children to lisp her name. Not a
all. That is the way Mrs. +. D. Z. n. South
worth would have done it, but she wasn'
round. Billy was a butcher who wore ,
white shirt and shiny hat, and he STAYED d
home and killed beef and sold it at bi.
price, and stuck to Mary, and She kept health,
and wasn't much on the pine, or the fade
while if any fellows got to lurking around
William went right out and batted them il;
the eye, he did.
and then ut last, when all was over, Mary
didn't sit in the room while they dressed her
in white and mixed orange blossoms in her
waterfall, and then go gently down stairs
with six bridesmaids ut her heels, and stand
up with her William and weep gently while
she was being married by the minister, and
then get lots Of presents, and then go to her
new house, and live through all the happy
years with Billy, and never know sorrow or
trouble any more. Why, of course she didn't.
for it wasn't her style, you see.
She Just rushed up stairs and put on her
pink muslin and her old sun bonnet. and had
nary bridesmaid, aud went to the ,nagis-
trate's and never Wept q particle, and got no
presents but fifteen cents from the old man
to pay her car fare home, and when she got
10 the magistrates she just rose off the bench
al p1,o III,