Litchfield enquirer., 1872-01-11
From Every Saturday. is4E TWO ERoMRoNES.
A theatrical Episode.

MT. Whlifies-the respected parent of our hero, Mir. Adolphus Whiffies-was an ! opuient Berkshire farmer, who, before re-. i tiring from his business and leaving it to
 his son, fancied that visit to the great
 metropolis would have the effect of sharp
 enlng the wits of that amiable youth, an
 operation of which that young gentleman
 stood greatly In need. The son jumped /! at the idea, especially when he learned he
 was to set forth on his travels alone. ] With the parental blessing, and his purse we'll filled, Mr. Whifies, junior, duly ar 1! rived in London and installed himself in ! economical quarters in Savoy Street, ! Strand
 The theatres, of course, occupied large share of Mir. Whifies's attentions during i his stay i'll London, and dtheneighborhood , Of stage-doors afforded him vast amount of satisfaction. The sight of ssprofession- ! als' III their everyday costumes was to him i source of great qualification, and his de-
 light when he made the acquaintance of
 prominent member of the orchestra of the Royal Dash Theatre exceeded ali bounds.
 He vowed eternal friendship for him on the spot, and there and then ratified the l agreement by entertaining his new ac- qualntance at recherche supper at the AL
 bion. Our story opens when Mr. Whif1es and his companion-Mr. OLeary by yname had been almost inseperables for the
 space of six weeks. With pain Mir. Whif-
 fes had lately observed all expression of : settled melancholy upon Mir. O'Learys T expressive countenance, and had resolute-
 ly determined to divine the cause. ! You are ill :" said our hero one even- ! ing, after they had supped at the hostelry : above mentioned, and were quafing various i Iss.whiskeys hot" to promote digestion. <. MT. OLeary sighed, shook his head sad- t ly, and emptied his glass by way of re- ' ply. -.
 ] ''Your supper has disagreed with you; : you have eaten to much," continued MT. ] Whiffies, tenderly
 Ut isn't the supper that worries me, l observed his companion; Its the substi- ! tute."
 This mysterious answer puzzled Mir. ! Whiff1es. He thought it over seriously, then gave 1t up i'll despair, and demanded an explanation. Mir. O'Leary vigorously 1 puffed at his cigar and proceeded to en- ! tighten Mir. Whif1es
 It appeared from MT. OLeary s account i that 1t was customary in the Royal Dash ] Theatre for the management to allow va
 rious members of the orchestra to absent
 themselves from time to time from their { nOSOS HI O10Cl GO dStC1u COtlCSIto Ok OtE0I 1 entertainments, on the condition that they l provided efficient substitutes to fulfil their 1 ordinary duties. As rule, these substi-
 tutes were not hafd 10 find; but Mr. i OIeary confessed, with tears in his eyes, i that although he had searched high and
 low, for some unaccountable reason he 1 could find no one able or willing to sup 1 ply his place at the theatre, while he was 1 absent to fulfil most profitable engage ment he had accepted to play at fashion able West-End concert, the ensuing even- i ing. Without moments hesitation Mir. i Whitfies threw himself into the breach and proffered his services
 Stuff P replied Mir. OLeary, ruiely, ''what do you know about music ?' ! Mir. Whiffies couldn't tell He WAS 1 quite certain about what he didn't know, but that he refrained from mentioning. 1 There was painful pause. MT. O'Leary l smoked silently on for some time, now
 and then darting searching glance upon the anxious face of Mir. Whiffies, as if he
 were involving some great scheme in the i innermost recesses of his own mind. but 1 as yet scarcely saw the manner in which it could be carried out. Suddenly i 'I have 1t. Thanks, Whiffies, my boy l accept your generous offer. You shaH l be my substitute" said Mir. OLeary. 1 To say that Mir. Whitfies was delighted would but feebly express the state of his
 mind. He grasped Mir. OIeary's hand
 and shook it fervently. He trembled al-
 ready with excitemement. His proudest l hopes were about to be realized. He
 would be admitted behind the scenes of
 theatre Words failed to convey any idea of his feelings, as he lent willing ear to MT. OLeary, who proceeded to give him ; the necessary instructions.
 In the first place, Mir. O'Leary pointed
 out, there were two trombone players in the orchestra of the Royal Dash Theatre, he l himself being one, and that for the espe- cial guidance of Mir. Whiffies he would
 summarily state the case as follows, pre-
 missing that after the rising of the curtain i on the first piece performance upon the l two trombones heralded the approach of 1 the villain of the piece
 Further, his (Alr. O'Leary's) experience i induced him to believe that in a crowded
 assembly ono trombone would probably make as much noise as two; and that all l Mir. Whiffies had to do, after announcing 1 himself as Mir. O'Leary's substitute, would l be to take his seat leisurely in the orches-
 tra. and, when the curtain rose, carefully
 watch the proceedings of the other trom-
 bone-player and initiate his every move
 ment; so that, in reality, one trombone
 would make aU the noise, although ap-
 parently, t,oo were being played. Lastly,
 he advised Mir. Whif1es to be careful and
 to mind what he was about, as the leader l was -! Soon afterwards the friends left the AL bion and proceeded on their several ways; 1 his friend and companion already more l %hovr ho 1R poxaoo<innp h1o r.oobnocc 1n l barking in the undertaking.
 i The sombre shades of twilight were en-
 wrapping, as with a shroud, the streets of
 London, when, carrying Mir. OIeary's
 trombone in his hands, MT. Whiffies might
 have been observed woefully picking his
 way through the purleus of Drury Lane l endeavoring to find the stage-entrance of 1 the Royal Dash Theatre. Two or three
 sallow-faced gentlemen were smoking
 short pipes in front of the entrance, and 1 occasionally lady or gentleman passed
 hurriedly in, evidently under the impress
 sion that they were behind their time; but
 a glance at the clock in the hall appeared
 to reassure them as they made their way
 more leisurely towards their respective dressing-rooms. Upon reference to his l watch, Mir Whifies found that the doors 1 had only just been opened, and he there fore had some leisure to look about him.
 He loitered at the door for some time,
 wondering, as the various members of the
 company made their appearance, who ttts'
 was, and who that could possibly be, un- 1 til small, but uncommonly sharp boy
 plucked him by the sleeve and said ,- "Youd better make haste; they're go- 1 in to ring in. s-s 1 MT. Whifies then became aware the he l was almost alone Without having the 1 faintest idea of the meaning of ringing l in" he mechanically followed the small boy down g gloomy passage, tumbled l down few steps, picked himself up and
 found himself upon the stage. He had
 hardly time to cast hurried glance upon
 the novel, not to say dreary, objects by l which he was surrounded, when an elder I ly individual in white beard, and whose
 shirt front appeared to be plentifully be- anriukln6 with snuH bockanod fha hou