The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1872-06-30

A New USE FOR DEAD MEN.-The
latest use for dead man has been made
OF Mazzlni. by some Italian savant, who
has petriied him, and warrants him to
keep In good condition until the end
OF time--growing harder and better. in
TACT, and becoming in after years O more
solid, substantial and permanent citizen
than he was while in the flesh. The FRO.
cess OF petrihcation has its advantages
and disadvantages. It is not very plea
SAINT to think OF yourself as an object of
curiosity; aud that, during thousands of
years to come. men will stare at you as
they did ut the Cardiff Giant, and wo-
men will 20, myT" at you. and playfnlly
punch you with their parasols-while
relio'hunters, on the sly, will chip of
your nose, one OF your ears, one, two or
three fingers, rs they now knock off O
crystal from the rock. carry them away
as soave"iers and deposit them, carefully
labeled, on the shelves with their spirit
ers, trilobites, etc. Beyond this little
personal disadvantage, however, we sec
no objection to the process; but, on the
other hand, many advantages in favor of
it. Just now the only possible use one
can make of his ancestors is to hang
thence to slowly ascend until they reach
the attic, where they afford habitation
for spiders and food for mice. But sup
pose man owned his ancestors, all in
good stony preservation, how admirably
he could utilize his relatives az building
material. He might enter his front door
between his grandfather on one side and
grandmother on the other, holding up
the Intel. His uncles and aunts could
be disposed about his house as caryatids
atlantcs. Some peculiarly odious mother
ln-law would nuke IL superb garboyle for
his facade. Cousins of all degrees could
be worked into chimneys, fence-posts.
piIasters and window caps, aud, if neces.
sary, serve the more domestic purposes
OF the chopping block, the horse. trough
or the hitching post. In this manner
one conld take some pride in his ances-
tors. Consider the immense advantage
such utilization of dead men would
have been to the rebuilding of Chicago.
How rapidly the burnt district would
have been rebuilt, and without any ne
cessity of debate on the duty on stone.
There is certain degree of personal
comfort in this process of petrifaction
also. If man should accomplish any
thing worthy of being remembered, he
could have the satisfaction of knowing
that he could be act up in his front yard,
or at the head of his street, or in the
public square. the cheapest sort of u
statue, aud surprising in artistic truth
the most cunning skill of Praxitcles
himself. If he had not accomplished
anything particularly worthy of notice,
he would still have the comforting assnr-
ance that, as an architectural device, he
would be n thing of beauty and Joy
forever The perpetuation of man in
this manner is on truly artistic princi-
pies, and appeals to the aesthetic sense.
ANY other use of man, such as planting
him US fertilizer, mummyfying him,
burning him up, etc., appeals to lower
sense. Petriication combines the utite
ct dulce. and the lovel.est woman who has
ever shone in society can look forward
with pleasure to the fnct that she need
never cease to attract the admiration OF
mankind, but she can shine resplendent-
ly through all the ages with her grace OF
pose and symmetry of form as everlust-
lngly fixed as those Of the Venus de
Milo.