American citizen., 1872-08-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| SONNEtiED Win ihE hC OSih-
handle.
SIXTY tons of steel pens are made every
year.
WHAT is taken from you before you get
! it? Your photograph.
| WITH what musical instrument would
YOU catch fish Cast-a-net.
| WHAT belongs to yourself, and is used
by everybody more than yourself Your
| name
| A SECRET has been defined as ''any
thing made known to everybody in
| whisper.
WHAT's the difference between truth
and eggs "Truth crushed to earth will
rise again" Eggs won't.
| A BROAD HINT" Sally, what time
does your folks dine ~ "Soon as you
go away-that's missus's orders"
A PoUGHKEEPsIE man died the same
day that the news came of his having in
herited $7O,O 600 from relative in the old
country.
IT is estimated that, including spring
lamos, there are now about IL 100000
sheep in California, which is an increase
of 6, OPS 600 since 1869. ~.
| A NEW JERSEY physician prescribes
nauseous medicines, but directs his pa
tients to bury them under the doorstep.
He has a large practice.
| IT is much better to decide difference
between enemies than friends for one of
| our friends will certainly become an
enemy, and one of our enemies friend
| AN exchange says, at concert recent
ly, at the conclusion of the song,
"There's a Good Time Coming"
country farmer got up and exclaimed
Mister, you couldn't fix the date, could
your"
A CHICAGO man dreamed that his child
| would be scalded to death. He took
every pTecaution against such catastro-
phe, but precisely five weeks and two
| dayS after the dream, the little boy was
run over by dog cart, and escaped un-
injured.
! THERE are seventy.five hospitals con-
| nected with the United States Marine Hos
pital service. The Secretary OF the
| Treasury has directed detailed report of
all operations performed and diseases
treated to be sent to him, in order to have
a report made out, giving statistics never
vet collected.
LITTLE BoY-"I don't like you, Mr.
Brown; my mamma says you are regu-
lar sneak" Mamma" Good gracious,
James, what could induce you to tell
such story? l confess to saying what
pity such a noblehearted man as MIR.
Brown has turned out regular cynic."
| A WOMAN at DanviIle, N. H., having
been notified by the Highway Surveyor TO
appear and work out her tax of four cents,
made her appearance at the appointed
time, armed with a hoe, and toiled vigor-
ously till her tax was cancelled, which
was effected in fifteen minutes from the
time of beginning.
THERE are now living of the family of
the late Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Hicks, of the
town of Milan, Duchess County, N. Y,
| nine daughters and two sons, whose ages
| are respectively as follows: 13, II, 50, 60,
So, 81, 50, 81, So, 53-making the united
ages of the living members of one family
| of brothers and sisters, 693 years.
A PRINTER, having been Tilted by his
| sweetheart, tried to commit suicide.
The 'devir' found him out and took him
to the sanctum where the editor WAS
writing duns to delinquent subscribers.
| The picture of despair presented by the
editor reconciled the printer to his fate.
He began to consider himself as compar-
atively happy.
| In Detroit BARRIERS shop the other
day, purblind colored customer arose
| from his seat to take one of the BARRIERS
chairs, when, looking at one of the pier
| glasses. he saw, he supposed, another
| gentleman about to take the chair. The
old fellow at once apologiZed for rising
| out of his turn and was about to sit down,
when he noticed his image about to do
the same. He again arose. and the mys-
| terious stranger followed This was re-
peated three or four times, much To the
customers disgust, when he finally Yelled
| out: eff it's your turn, why don't YOU
sit down ~ amidst shouts of laughter
from the rest of the customers.
In an article on Longevity, Professor
| Owen has explained how it is that aged
persons are said to have cut new teeth late
in life. Many readers will remember TO
have heard read of such occurrences,
| which are regarded rs extraordinary. The
facts are these: it often happens that teeth
break or decay, and leave a stump in the
| gum The gum closes over the place, and
the incident is forgotten. As years go
by, the jaw and the gums shrink the
| long-buried stump is in consequence laid
bare, and is hailed as new tooth, and is
sometimes mentioned in the newspapers
as kind of wonder. Thus "fact " is
shown by competent authority TO be an
error and it is always well for public
opinion to get rid of an error
How TO GO TO SLEEP.-A scientific
journal tells "How to so to sleep 1t
! saws: every few persons can count Il hun
dred and find themselves awake; but
should this happen, repeat the dose until
cured.r MIR. Nubbins couldn't sleep well,
so he tried this counting cure. He count
ed one hundred, and was still awake;
then he counted the same hundred back
wards, and was not asleep; then he began
in the middle of one hundred and count
ed each way at the same time, and this
didn't throw him into the arms of Nor
phcus Then he repeated the dose, and
counted about seventy five thousand, he
thinks, which didn't send him to the land
of Nod, even; SO he just got mad, and
turned over and went to sleep without
any more fOoling about it.
A PHENoMENoN.-An Irish surgeon,
who had restored the sight of a poor wo-
man. observed in her case what he deem
ed a phenomenon in optics, on which he
called together his professional brethren,
declaring himself unequal to the solution
He stated to them that the sight of his pa
tient was completely restored, that she
could see to thread the smallest needle,
or to perform any other operation which
required particular accuracy of vision.
But when he presented her with book,
She WAS incapable of distinguishing one
letter from another. This very singular
case excited the ingenuity of the gentle
men present. and various solutions we're
offered. Doubt crowded on doubt, and
the problem grew darker from every
explanation. when at length, by ques-
tion put to the servant who attended, it
was discovered that the woman had never
learned to read.