St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-05-10
Chapter VIII.
FIGGERS WONT LIE.

fl'''rEkS WON LIE.
'FiggerS won't lie." said Elder Han
kim>, the Millrrite preacher. Il say
tiggcrS won't lie When Il MethodiS'
talks about fallin' from grace he has to
argy the pint. And argy can't he
depended pom. And when IL PriShytc-
rlan talks about perseverance lie haimt
got the absolute S;Irtainty on his side.
But iggcrS wort lie nowayS, and its
f%grrS that shows this yer to he the
last yer of the world. and that the final
ecnd of all things is approachin'. /
don't ask YOU to listen to no Impressions
of me own. to no rca>onin' of nobody {;
all ask i that you should listen to the
voice of the man in the lincn-coat what
spoke Ia Dan'cl, and then listen to the
voice of the 'rithmctic. and to Il sum III
simple addition, the simplest sort of
addition"
All the Millcrite preachers of that
day were not quite 50 illiterate as Elder
l1ankinS, and it i bat fair to say that
the AdVcntlStS of to-day are Il very re-
spectacle denomination. doing Il work
which deserves more recognition from
others than II receives. And for the
dclu>lon which expects the world to
com" to AN end Immediately, the Ad-
vent leaders are not responsible in the
first place. From GnnStici>m to Nor
maniSm. every religious deluSion has
grown from some Fundamental error in
the previous religious teaching oi the
people. BY the narrowly verbal meth
cd of reading the Scripture. 81 much in
vogue i'll the polcmical discussions of
past generation, and still 81 trrVcmtly
adhered t" hN many people. the ground
was prepared for MIllcriSm. And to
day III many regions the soil is made,
talluw ior the next tanaticiSm. 1t is
only Il question of who shall first SOW
and reap. To people educated is those
who gathered III Sugar Grove school
house had been to destroy the spirit of
the Scripture 10y di>torting the letter III
prov ing their own sect right. nothing
could he :" overwhelming a> Elder
llau>im>'> 'hg%cr>.
For he had clearly studied tiggcrS To
the neglect of the uther branches of Il
liberal education. His demonstration
Was printed ON Il large chart. He be
gan with the seventy weeks of Daniel.
he added in the time aud times and Il
half. and what Daniel declared that he
"umdcr>tuod not when he heard" was
plain sailing to the enlightened and
mathematical mind of Elder lIankin>.
When he came to the Thousand two
hundred and ninety days. he waNcd
more cNultant than keplcr iii his Su
pI Iemc moment. and on the thousand
three hundred and five and thirty days
he did What Jonas Harrison called ''thc
hlauirdc>t tallcSt ciphcrin' he'd ever
seed in all his born daN<.
Jonas was the new hired man. who
had stepped into the shoes of August
At samuel Anderson He sat 10y Au-
gust and kept mp a running commcn-
tarN, i'll Il loud whisper. on the sermon.
My frllcr-citilru." said Jonas. >quccl-
ing Augu>t> arm at Il climax of the
elders discourse. My trllcr-citilen.
l""kN thar. won't y"u He'll cipher
the world int" mothim in no time. llr'>
like thu irllcr that tried to find ont the
lal"" OF fat >hoat when wood Wa~ two
dollars Il r"rd. If | can't do it 10y sub
,tracti"n i'll Il" il 10y long div i>i"m.
>ay> he. And it this Iithmctic preach
cr cant make Il tin>hmrnt of this sub
hnarN >pccr H. addition. he'll do it 10y
multiply in. Thcl'> only one answer
III his book. Gin him amy sum yuu
please. and il Ill comes ont l-i3
Now ia all the region round about
Sugar Grove ~ch""l-huu~c there W;S Il
great dcIlth of sensation. The people
liked the prospect of the end of the
world hrcau>' ii would lie II spectacle.
something To rclicN;' the fearful munot-
nmN of their lives. Funerals and we'd
ding> were commonplace. and nothing
could have been :" interesting to them
~ the tnmlmg oi The end of the world.
~ d,~:.rihcd hy Elder llmkin~. unic~>
il bad been Il first class circus tWith two
cimc,~ ANA cage ni monkeys attached
:" that ~cIupul"u> people might attend
from Il laudahlc desire tn ~rc the me
nagcric y \ murder would have been
delightful to the people of Clark town.
ship. 1t would have given them some
thing to think and talk about. Int"
this still pool Elder llamI,ins threw the
>iIl> the trumprt>. the thundrr>. the
beast with ten horns. the hc-goat. and
all the other apncallptic symbols I'M
dcr>tood in an al'Surdly literal waN.-
The world WAS to come to an end in
the following August. Here was an
excitement. something worth living
for.
All the way to their homes the peo-
{ PIE pllItu ilt''llN ABOUT the 'Illllt
and the times and IL half" about ..the
seven heads and ten horns" and the
seventh vial. The ticrcc polcmical dis
cIi>SionS and the bold Scctarian dogma
ti+m of the day had taught them any
thing but 1.-THE modeStN of true science"
aud now the mSolvable problems of
the centuries were taken out of the
hands of puzzled scholars and settled
aS summarily and positively lis the rel
ativr merits of gourd-Sced" and flint"
corn. samuel Anderson had always
planted his corn in the light of the
moon and his potatoes III the dark" of
that orh, had always killed his hogs
when the moon was on the increase lest
the meat should all go to gravy, and he
and his wife had carefully guarded
against the carrying of il hoe through
the house. for fear ''sumehody might
die" Now, the preaching of the elder
impressed him powerfully. His life had
always been not so much IL bad one as
cowarllN one, aud to get into heaven
| by Il six months repentance, seemed to
him IL good transaction. Besides he
remembered that there men were never
married. and that there, at last, Abigail
would no longer have any peculiar
| right to torture him. Hankins could
not have ciphered him into Millerism if
/ his wife had not driven him into it as
the easiest means of getting IA divorce
/ No doom in the next world could have
alarmed him much, unless it had been
the prospect of continuing lord and
master of MIS-. Abigail. And us for
that oppressed woman. she was simply
scared. She was quite unwilling to ad-