Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-05-21
EunnYgrapha

A country editor says when he looks
at woman's head he is puzzled to tell
which is switch.
A cynical lady, rather inclined to-
flirt, says most men are ike a cold
easily caught, but very difficult to get
rid of.
An Atlanta man wants the thief who
stole his well bucket and rope to come
back and get the well, as it is of no
present use to him.
"If you don't give me dime" said
a young hopeful to his mamma; "I
know boy who's got the measles, and
I'll go and catch them.
Agassiz has discovered a fish that
builds nest. The COW that climbs al
tree and the horse that chews tobacco
are next in order.
In an article on a recent fair in that
city, the editor of a Macon paper says
brother editor took valuable premi-
um; but an unkind policeman made
him put it right bJck where he took it
from.
Miss Laura C. Redden complains
that American women eat too much
horse radish and too many pickles at
lunch, entailing sharp elbows, thin
calves and red noses.
A heart-broken widower in Indian
apolis has erected pine slab over his
wife's grave, and presented a fine pi-
ano to the girl who was kind to him
during his affection.
a young theological student at Har-
wand invited young lady at Boston to
attend a concert, to which he received
the following reply: "If you come as
temporary supply must decline the
Invitation, as / am only he,rilg regular
candidates"
A new and highly practical use for
unpaid bills has been found. A FIori-
dian, who had accumulated quite a
package of them in his vest pocket,
owes the preservation of his life to
that circumstances, as the knife of an
assassin entered them instead of him.
A package of paid bills would probably
do as well; but that would be more ex-
pensive.
a young lady in Camden, N. Y, last
week, dropped newspaper on the
bridge. A young gentleman who had
not kept posted with the fashions,
picked it up aad offered it to the young
lady. She indignantly repudiated the
ownership, and he is wondering what
made her look SO mad.
A Methodist paeacher has been SEN
fenced to thread and water, for eleven
days, in Sweden, for endeavOring to
gain proselytes to his denomination.
In that intolerant country, dissenters
are punished for holding services
} during the hours of Sunday sacred to
the Lutheran Church. INV gt,7
l There is not man on earth, however
humble, who is blank; there is not
one man in society who is not either a
blot or blessing. You have therefore
to make your choice, and YOU cannot
choose otherwise whether YOU shall be
a blessing, limited it may be; but still.
a blot or blessing, by no possibility a
blank, must, each of us be. ...-..
A Berkshire, Mass, papa put it thus
to his daughters beau: "Jim, IL YOU
want Lu. you can have her; but don't
want you hanging around unless YOU
mean busines. If you intend to marry
her, hurry up, for l can't be kept awake
: nights much longer.
In a recent DEBATE member of the
, California Legislature exclaimed: 'sThe
} honorable gentleman from CaIaveras
county is undoubtedly person of great
abilities, man of talent, a natural born
genius, but there is one thing which ]
: defy him to do, and that is, to bite The
bottom Of a frying1pa'a acittout snutti,,g
!, has nose. lss s.sia @a.s Fl :.
Some men were walking around an
agriculturafimplement store, and they
chanced to see in the rear dressed hog
hanging by hook to the wall. "HaI
hap cried they to the young man in
attendance, "what sort of an agricul-
tural implement do you call that ?'i
''That," he said, ''is patent combined
root grubber, cornsheller, grinder
gate-lifter, donble action back spring
sod plow; but 1 guess you won't wani
: one, for it takes mighty smart man tc
: manage 'em.