Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-10-11

recognized his countenance at q
glance, but it was his marvellous
clothes that troubled me. They sal
easily enough upon his body, but
somehow or other they did not sci
SO easy upon my mind, but where.
fore / could not for the life of me
tell, if had tried, which I didn't.
"sGood morning, Mr.. President,
mo longer uncle Abe,' as before,
said he, in sort of grandiloquent
manner, 4 hope you are we'll and
getting on nicely
"'Oh, yes,' said !, I'VE poor folks
exc out . living after fashion, in
tending to give him the bit in his
mouth, for l knew what an honest
man he was-and how much
couldn't tell then exactly how much
-wc we're indebted to him.
"'Mr. President, / come to resign
my Office
ssFeeling somewhat as though
had been struck by lightning,
managed to exclaim, 'Indeedv
"'Yes; / feel that there are many
others deserving Of the place, and
that it is my duty to make way fol
them
"'Was there every such an hon
est man as that?' said I to myself,
chuckling over my own stupidity
on the clothes surprise. But,
said I, aloud, 'I'm afraid you are
not considering yourself, friend
Shofe, and then when you 60 back
to preaching you will be as hard up
as when you came her three years
ago. Hadn't you better hold on a
little, say o year more, and let us
both 60 out of Office together?"
"'No, thank you. Pm going to
Europe during that time, but hope
to see you here, as President, when
I RETURN and with few more
kind expressions, of went the Rev.
Shofe.
"About q month after, one Of the
reverend gentleman's neighbors
paid me visit, and among other
things remarked casually that had
done pretty good thing for Shofle.
Yes replied, 4 gave him a g.
900, = year position for three years.
"'Besides the balancc!' added
my visitor. why, if he is worth
a cent, he is worth to-day 5000, 900,
and I can prove it if necessary.
"What could the idiot mean! To
satisfy myself Of the falsity of the
charge I sent detectives to where
he lived, and they brought back
word that he had made his $4,000
salary in the aggregate yield fully
5000, O,OO0-but then / k,sew he scas
an Aonest man and there must be a
mistake someschere!"
"By the way" added Mr.. Lin
coin, with one ofhis knowing winks,
tive have plenty of 'Shofles' left,
but the mischief of it is, it is hard
finding them out, and they are not
considerate enough to resign, as did
our honest friend Shofe."
So it is under every Administra-
ton, and it is the duty of all good
citizens to assist the government to
ferret out tho plunderers. We are
making fair progress in getting rid
of these banditti, and begin to
luxuriate in a comparatively pure
moral atmosphere.
SEM1-OccAsIoNAL.
WAsHINGroN, D. c., Sept. 2, 1872.
Newspaper AdyssEtat:i.s -. Advsrtis-
Ever since the era of advertising
was inaugurated business men Of all
classes have been made the victims
of q certain class of men who, with
flippant speech, and with persis-
tence as provoking as it would be
admirable in a better cause, have
persuaded them to enter into their
particular schemes. These schemes
are numerous as many an advertiser
can attest, and when we weigh their
influence in q calm, impartial man.
ner, we shall become convinced
that they arc sublime fraud upon
the too lenlent advertising public;
and that the advertiser, when he
has submitted to the imposition, has
literally thrown his money away.
The schemes of these honeyed-ton-
gued and metal-visaged gentry, who
besiege the unwary advertiser on
every hand and bore him into Civ.
ing him an "ad" which the adver-
tiser generally does in order to get
rid of him, are, as we have hereto
fore mentioned, exceedingly num-
erous. There is the programme"
scheme, for instance, cunningly in.
terpersed with stale jokes or other
eight and entertaining reading
matter" and handed to the passer
by on those days when there chances
to be an unusual gathering in the
town or city, only to be glanced at
for the space of a second, if at oil,
and then carelessly thrown away to
be trampled under foot. This is
decidedly a waste Of money on the
part ofthe advertiser. Then, again,
we have the hotel register scheme,
hotel card advertising scheme, and
last, but not least that most infam-
ous of all frauds, the hotel card.
rack scheme, together with other
schemes too numerous to mention.
Now, what the honest advertisers
want, and, indeed, what every ad.
vertiser in the land wants, is the
greatest return for the amount OF
money invested. In order to do
this there is but one reliable method
and that is the newspaper. The
American people are pre.eminently
q reading people, and of all the
literature thrown broadcast over
the country that of the newspaper
predominates, and is the most gen
orally read. The people are gradu'
ally being educated up to the prac.
tice Of looking into the advertising
columns of the newspaper in order
to find where their wants can be
supplied; this being the fact it is
patept to every sensible advertiser
that the place to display his wares
is where they will be the most likly
to be seen, which is the newspaper
Further than this, the newspaper is
far less indestructible as advertiS.