The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-01-26
THE POWER OF THE PRESS.

Inc al SOnIFlDutOr, VINO Is OF
course an habitual liar, tells tho
following true story about the gem
nine humor OF. ,Artemus Ward:
When I first met Artemus it was
in Cleveland. We arrived at the
hotel about 2 O'Clock in the morn
ing. Artemus invited me to share
his bed with him for the remainder
of the night, and ] accepted. ..-
Adjoining his room lodged Q
young professor of elocution, who
was endeavoring to establish q
school in Cleveland. He was lust
starting out in business, and was
naturally anxious to propitiate the
press. ..-......
"Let's get the professor up" said
Artemus, "and have him recite for
u.s." faaf3 -
1 demonstrated with him, re-
minded him of the lateness of the
hour, that 1 wasn't acquainted with
the professor, and all that; but to
no purpose. - - 81, e.4els I
"He's public man." said Ward,
sand public men are glad to meet
members of the press, as restaurants
are supposed to get up warm meals,
at all hours" -c- 80 .t=5HTes
He gave a laundering rap on the
door, as he shouted: - - ..-......
"Professor-r-rW
"Who's there? What yer want ?D
cried mufled voice, evidently
from beneath the bed clothes, for
it was q bitter cold night In Febr-
uary.
at is Brown of the plain
Dealer" said Artemus, and, nudg.
ing me gently in the ribs, he Whis-
pered: "That'll fetch him, The
power of the press is inVincible.
1t is the Archimedian' lever
which, . nd ,177-71I- 80
2 His remarks were interrupted by
the opening of the door, and !
could just discern the dim outline
of shirted form shivering in the
doorway. 30 -A .- ~ Cd
, excuse me for disturbing you,
professor" said Artemus, in his
blandest manner, ''but I am anxious
to introduce my friend here, the
new local of the Democrat. He,
has heard much of you, and de-
clares positively he can't go to bed
until he hears yen elocute." -.,.-,
t.Hear me what 2" asked the pro-
fessor, between his shatteaing teeth.
'sHears you Observation-Disclosures
claim--nnderstand specimen of
your elocution 2" - --.-f., -.s,
In vain did the professor plead
the lateness of the hour, and his
fire had gone out. Artemus would
accept no excuses. lrs -.al11
"Permit me, at least" said the
professor, $40 put on some clothes
and light the gas"
''Not at all necessary. Eloquence,
my dear boy, is not dependent on
gas. Here" STRENGTHENING up a
chair he had just stumbled over)
"get right up in this chair and give
us The boy stood on the burning
deck" adding an aside whisper in
my ear, ''The burning deck will
warm him up" s-r-I
Gently yet firmly did Artemus
boost the reluctant professor upon q
chair protesting that no apologies
were necessary for his. appearance.
and assuring him that CLOTHES
didn't make the man" although the
shivering disciple of Demosthenes
and Cisero probably thoughtclothes
" o Id make man more comforta-
BILE on such night as that. aa3
He gave US ."Casabianca" with g.
good many Quavers Of voice, as he
stood quaking in q single short,
white garment; and then followed 3
"On Linden, when the sun was
low" "Sword of Bunker HilI'n etc,
,"by particular request of our
friend" as Artemus Ward said, al
though I was too nearly suffocated
with suppressed laughter to make
even q last dying request had it
been necessary. 1t was. too ludi-a
crous to depict-the professor, an
indstinct white object, standing on
the chair, "elocuting," as Ward had
1t, and we sitting on the floor hold
ing our sides, while A. w. would
family whisper between his pangs
of mirth, "Just hear him."
It wasn't in Wards heart to have
his fun at the expense Of another,
without recompense, 30 next day, ]
remembered; he published lengthy
and entirely serious account of our
visit to the professors "rooms,7
spoke of his wonderful powers as
an elocutionist, and expressed the
satisfaction and delight with which
we listened to. his "unequaled rsci-
tations-" The professor was over.
ioyed, and probably IL ignorant to
this day that Artemus was ~playing
1t on him. 1of HetoE ,s4Gii,aae {,