Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1872-04-09

ter. Before | had time to look aromC
me, long legged fellow knC cked me
over with club; he then stood me
on my feet, and another maraudei
made rush at me and brought Inc
down again. ..-
After / had undergone this exhili.
rating exercise for about five minutes,
they stretched me out on q bench and
examined my teeth and pinched my
muscles and stuck pins into me all
over, and showed cayenne pepper up
my nose, and poured molten lead in
my pocket, and pulled hair out of the
back Of my neck with red hot pinch
crs, with view, / suppose, to make
nc fee unembarrassed and at home.
When | came to my senscs I was
alone in the ante-room of the Lodge.
1t was a lively and cheerful apartment.
A couple of crocodles were amusing
themselves in corner, and a few full
grown rattlesnakcs were practicing the
flying trapeze on stove pipe. The
furniture consisted chiefly of half a
dozen muminies, the skeletons Of Capt.
Kidd, Lucretia Borgia, Guy Fawkes,
Jack the Giant Killer, Oliver Crom.
well, the Wandering Jew, William the
Conqucror, Christopher Columbus,
and Dick Turpin. A flying machine,
three barrels of gun powder, and a re.
markable healthy and well developed
wild cat.
Just then half dozen pirates, clad
in aprons and sashes, rushed into the
room with whoop. One of them,
the biggest and ugliest who appeared
to be the chief, ordered the attend
ants, in voice of thunder to trot out
the animal. The attendants, disap-
pearcd but Immediately reappeared
an iron clad goat, regular double
decker with sixteen horns, two wings,
and seven or eight tails stuck all over
him. My eyes were banAaged, and l
was told to mount. | said:
"Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I
would rather not. l am not accus-
toned 60 going up in a balloon; be-
sides, l have got an engagement down
town. My wife wants to see me par
ticularly. I'll be back in five minutes;
| rather think my house is on Gre, but
| will be back in five minutes; Yes,
gentlemen, in few"
Before | could finish my sentence !
was seized from behind and planted
firmly astride of the Internal goat.
Somebody then said let 90, and
away we went. l have been through
a good many pcrilous scenes; I have
taken part in an election fight, l have
been down in a railroad collision, and
up in steamboat explosion; / have
fallen down three pairs of stairs, and
walked out Of fourth story window
but this goat excursion was ahead of
them all. When | came to reflect on
the matter in cool blood | wondered
that | came out alive. The furious
beast kicked and screamed, and rolled
over and turned back someasaults, and
drove me against the ceiling and un-
lcrneath the chairs, till the bandage
fell from my eyes and I had to let go. |
The goat vanished up the chimney in
4 blue fame, and | found myself in
the centre of the lodge room, with
about fifty Masons in aprons, and moth
ng else, dancing a war dance around
ne.
The rest of the members were
sanding upon tho.r heads in the diff
orent corners, all but the cadoyogous
ookng baccaneer, who seemed to be
lcad of the apartment Soon they
eft OF dancing, and marched around
he room to an inspiring dirgc. l was
hen hauled in front of the chiefs
lesk, who thus addressed me:
Brother Kobb, you arc now one of
Is. You are member Of an institu-
ion that has lasted over three million
# years. You are water proof and
ire proof. You are over proof. You
AN walk through a river, or sit on
ed hot stove with impunity. Mortal
nan canno. harm you, and the devil
limSclf must curl up his tail and walk
fl at your approach. BE virtuous,
lr. Kobb, and you will be happy"
| then assumed sash and apron.
KoBB, Jun.
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