The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-11-21
sCROGGs, BUMPHEAD & co.
BY RUFUS REIGNOR

> zone IN COnCacL with Une, ana he Will
~tck 10 you. to- use poor comparison,
worse than far. Il you have ever attend
cd d tar-and-teather surprise party, and
witnessed the highly exciting enjoyment
Euf-remuvIng he tar, you can imagine
~ nat txtrcme adheslvenesS the one idealst
possesses, who sticketh to you worse than
tar. And then tO add more to your an
guish. he keeps mis- tongue moving with
ttlegrAphlc rap dity. You may try to
change the subject but 1t is useless. You
may talk about The recent war between
France and Prussia, thinking perhaps
that will witch him eff his usual track
but to your surprise be finds something
/ IN that war which proves exactlya Ger
tain point in his pet theme. You abrupt
~ jump track in history and mention AL
exander the great; then you take step
forward and talk about Napoleon and
i Wa'erl,'o; and then you stride forward
once more and discuss the Woman's
Rights movem, MT; but all to no purpose.
La every aud all subjects the one-ideaist
finds something that Just illustrates that
little point we were speaking of am0ment
ago" Every time YOU strike out in an
other direction, you are brought almost
Immediately back to jug along with the
one idealst on his hobby-horse. Very
provoking isn't itP
The e's my friend Scroggs-his hobby
is debating societies He never meets me
without telling what he said or did at the
last meeting of his debating society. He
isn't much of deb&ter; in fact think he
is very poor in that respect-however [
may be prejudiced-but the facility with
which he rolls out lung exploding sem
fences, w"u,d make you believe that he
was created expressly for the Senate.
| Many ls tn ,tIne I wished he was =
Senator and lived in Wash ngton y
He and his society argue with astonish-
ing case ell the great questions or the day.
The San D"mingo question WAS done up
in one evenings Discussion. The Ais bsma
Claims were settled 80 long ago thi.t the
members of the society look with proud
contempt on the Congress of America, the
Parliament of England and the Council
of Geneva.
But avoid scroggs. If see him
coming up one side of the street, cross
70 the other side. And nine times out of
ten Scrcggs will cross too. So fate brings
Ems on the same side IF the street after all
| thing fate's DEGREES are very aggravatIng
sometimes. Scroggs b"rcd me IN st eff
| ftctuaily one night Ever since that time
I can not see his wife, sister or mother, or
his little Dig or cat without thinking of
his detestable debating society. He bored
me so awfully that night, that dreamed
the Interior of the earth contained an i'm
mense debating society, and that volca-
noes were occ stoned by the society be-
coming overcharged with gas.
And again there is my phrenoloaicai
friend Bumpbead Sometimes he gets
hold of me and fills me SO full OF his talk,
atlveness. that seriously consider wheth-
er it would not be beneficial TO take an
emetic. came suddenly upon him one
day, and he--just like zuch fellow-al-
though going IN an opposite direction,
must turn and walk back with me. b.
ing compelled to walk with him,T thoua bit
to save myself from affection as long as
possible, by keeping HE thoughts away
from his usual topic Accordingly I en-
deavored to think of subject that didn't
have any phrenology in it.
well Bumphead," said I, "I'm of on
visit to San Francisco before long"
"Sothe change will be beneficial to you.
How wish was going with you'll Why
dear sir travelling will be splendid at this
time of the year. Yes, you will be bene
fitted intellectually as we'll as physically;
or IN travelllng,the chronological organs
of individuality, form and eventuality-"
Most noble reader, if you had seen my
countenance at that moment, you would
have thought that had Just swallowed
the most disagreeable and loathsome stuff
that druggist ever compounded. To think,
that after all my anxiety and attempts of
presentation, he would begin on his pet
theme SO soon didn't get clear of him
for an hour, and during all that time
phrenology was dinged into my ears 50
persistently that l wonder that am alive
at this moment to tell how much suffer
ed.
This last sentence may SEEM exagger-
ated, but Ibssurr you, If you were BGIAp-
heads friend you wouldn't think SO by
any means.
But do not wish to be too hard on
men of one idea. Although such mer are
not over agreeable companions, yet they
have proved themselves progressive in
many cases. Some Of the most needed
reforms have been effected by these one
ldeaists and fanatical extremists But it
isn't every fellow afflicted In this way
that has for his hobby something that will
in the end prove beneficial to mankind
LIS Is pity that thele are so many people
who cannot think strongly on subject
or caunot appreciate q particular theory
or religion, without becoming so affected
by fanaticism and one ideaism, that they
regard their pet ideas as the only and
necessary one Co cure ali evils and elevste
Q man (and wuman) into Utopian state OF
bliss. Oar FiTeside Friend. ,.., =