The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-07-25


body said that are sermon was a master
piece. He preached it up to Cambridge
at commencement, but it so happened it
|, was one O. them bilin' hot days that come
in August, when you can fairly hear the
{ hucklebergies a sizzling and cookin' on
the bushes, and the locust keeps a gratin
like red hot saw Wal, such times, de-
crees or no DEGREES, the best on us will
get sleepy. The old meetin' house stood
) right down at the foot of hill that KEEP
oil al the wind, and the sun blazed away
at them great west winders, and there
was pretty sleepy times there. Well, the
deacon he flew round aspell, and woke
up the children and tapped the boys on
the head, and KEEP everything straight as
ne could I'LL the sermon was most through
when he rally got most tuckered out, and
he took a chair and he sot down in the
door right opposite the minister and fair
~ got asleep himself, just as the minister
himself got up to make the last PRAYER.
oval, Parson Morrel had way o. pray
in with his eyes open. Folks said it
want the best way, but it was Parson
Morrels way anyhow, and so as he was
prayin' he couldn't help SEEM that Dea.
con Titkins was noddin' and bobbin'
out toward the place where old Dick was
feedin' with the sheep, front O. the meet.
in'.house door a..as
Lem and me we was sittin' where we
could look out, and we jest see old Dick
stop teedin' and look at the deacon. The
deacon had a little round head, as smooth
as an apple, with nice powdered WIG on
IT. and he sot there maxim bobs and bows,
and Dick begun to think it was suthin'
sort O. pussonal. Lem and me was sitsin'
Just where we could look out and see the
whole picter, and Lemwas fit to split.
"Good, now he, that critter'll paw
the deacon off lively, pretty soon
"The deacon bobbed his head a spell,
and old Dick he shook his horns and
stamped at him sort O. threatenin.' FL
nally the deacon he give great bow and
brought his head right down at him, and
old Dick he sot out full tilt and come
down on him ker chunk, and knocked
him head over heels into the broad aisle,
and his wig flew one way and he t'other,
and Dick made lunge at it as it flew.
and carried it off on his horns. =
oval, you may, believe that broke up
the meetin' for one while, for Parson
Morrel laughed out, and all the gals and
boys they stomped and roared, and the
old deacon he got up and begun rubbing
his shins-'cause he didn't see the Joke
ont.
"You don't orter laugh says he, it's no
laughing matter-its a solemn thing
says he. Il might have been sent into
tarnlty by that darned crittur' SAYS he.
Then they all roared and haw- hawed the
more to see the deacon dancin' round
WITH ms little shiny head, so smooth 1y
would trip up ont. | believe, nv soul,
you'd laugh to see me in my grave, saws
he!
oval the truth ont was, twas list one
Of them Dustin up times that natgr has
when there ant noth1n' for it but to give
In, twas jest like the ice breakin' M in
the Charles River-it all comes at once
and no whoa to It. Sunday or no Sunday,
sin or no sin, the most on 'em laughed Till
they cried, and could MT help it.
But the deacon he went home feelin'
pretty sore about it. Lem Sudoc he pick
ed up his wig and handed it to him. Saws
he, old Dick was playing tithing man
want he, deacon? Teach YOU 70 make
allowance for other folks, that get sleepy
Then Mrs. Tltkins she Went over to
Aunt Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly
Hokun's, and they had pot O tea over
1t and greed it was awful of Parson Nor.
rel to sat SIGH an example, and suthin had
got to be done about it. Miss Hokun said
she alters knew that Parson Morrel hadn't
no splritooality, and now it had broke
out into open sin, and led all the rest of
EN- into it, and Mrs. Titkins she said
such man want fit to preach, and Miss
Hokun said she couldn't never hear him
ag'l IN, and the next Sunday the deacon
and his wife they hitcned up and driv
eight miles over to Parson Lothrop's and
took Aunt Holly on the back seat. ia
"Wall, the thing growed and growed,
TIL 1t seemed as If there warn't nothin'
else talked about cause Aunt Polly and
Miss Titkins and Jerushy Scran they
didn't do nothin' but talk abont it, and
that set everybody else talkin.'
FINALLY, it was greed they must hev'
a counsel to settle the hash. So all the
wlmmen they went to chopping mince
and making up pumkin pies and cram.
berry tarts, and b'ilin' doughnuts, gettin'
ready for :he ministers and delegates
cause counsels always eats powerful-and
they had quite stir, like a gineral train |
m The bosses, they was hitched all up
and Down the stalls, stompin' and swift
chin their tails, and all the wimmen was
q, talkln,and they he'd up everybody round
Tor witnesses, and finally Parson Morrel
ne says: Brethren says he, Jest let me
tell you the Aory jest as it happened, and
IT you don't every one Of you laugh as
hard as did, why, then, I'll give up
1.-THE parson he was mastar- hand at
settin' off story, afore he'd done, he got
'em all in SIGH roar they = didn't know
where to leave off, Finally, they give
sentence that there hadn't no temptation
took him but such as is common to man !;