Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-01-05
Fanny versus Francis.

In spite Of the "we's" and "us's" under
the mantle Of the flair SEX" in the spicy
article on Benefits of Small Waists" a
short time since, we detected the charac-
teristic of a certain animal commonly cal
led "man." Of course, he had no thought
that his sin would would find him out !;
but it has, though by whose assistance we
are not obliged to tell, and dear CHBoNI-
Gle, as we do not think we should always
"bestow kiss for blow" or turn the
other cheek after one is smitten, when we
know it would be smitten all day, but an
"eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth, y
is our MOTTO, and We don't depart from
The teachings of the Bible one whit. we
beg your permission to answer him.
Ny dear Francis, as yoc: have given Us
your idea of female beauty, all"W me TO
present to your lofty imagination pen pen
portrait of her companion, Young Amer
lea, There he is, grown to the mature
hight of FIVE feet, two inches and a half'in
his boots-high heeled ones at that-feet
incased in narrow pumps, well adjusting
to feet the long remembered rhyme: aa
He wore such little boots '-'
Outside his little hose, r III ~
1t made the little eorns '' 80 ''
Grow on his little toes,
and one would think all bis brains lay in
them, by the glances. Of admiration he
casts at his dainty laced understandings.
Then his-ahem-his- hreeches are Gu,
riosity. How he could make, such polite
bows and such low. ones too without
breaking stiteh somewhere, ought to be
one of the seven wonders of the world.
And about laces; excuse me, gentlemen,
if l lay part Of this great siq at your
door. Don't hold up your hands in holy
horror, bat look the fact in the face. 1t
is no curiosity in large cities, and in some
small ones, to see a dandy strnting down
street in laces. Now put a beruftcd ADD
puffed shirt front under a slim vest, orna-
mented with dangling watch chain, gold
is just as good as brass, and dainty cravat,
and cap the summit with stove pipe hat,
worn as near on the side Of the head as it
can be without tumbling off, making it
look as near as possible like quart meas
ure minus handle, turned upside down,
or common sized squash, excuse plain
language.) Pat cigar between his teeth
a large ring OH his little finger, cane in
his hand (Which we think superfuous, as
he undoubtedly carries cain enough with
out sporting one-and little, just very
little paint on his checks, and your image
is perfect. Contemplate the scene to your
hearts content, and make the best you
can of the plain picture, for it's none the
less true by being plain.
You need not preach fashion to me, sir,
Frances, we know just as well as you do
what absurd styles Queen Fashion intro
duces to her subjects, as we have seem
just as big a necktie stalking off down
street with man in its back, as you ever
did Grecian bend with lady Units arms.
Again, ifyour imagination is SO keen to
see how well Young America" would
look carrying nod or chopping wood,
(the Rights be ought to be compelled to
work at,) quite as well we think as your
"model of beauty" Your glad Solomon
in all his glory was not arrayed like one
of these, (meaning the aforesaid beauty, }
we have a clear idea who he was arrayed
like