Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-05-29

after while, without any dlmlnutlOn
of kindly feeling our correspondence
fell through, and the notices of my
friend in the oracle became rarer and
purer. AT the end of ten years, [ came
home on leave of absence for twelve
months, and [ lost no time III getting to
Ashlins, where Joe gave me the warm
est of welcomes. He had developed
into magnificent specimen of an An
glo Saxon, deep in the chest, broad in
the shoulders, griml~ ser on long mas
siye thighs, with a full yellow beard
ripping over his honest, serious, face.
His figure. perhaps, was verglng on
the portly; but, as yet, he was safe
from any curter epithet than portly.
He wrulng my hand with his old re-
morseless grip, and patted me on the
back with the old Oxford-ai of protec-
tion, so that felt at home Immediate
/ ly on the old footing of the feeble de-
pendent. [ observed, too, at luncheon,
that my friends old prowess with the
knife and fork still clung by him. Huge
slices of beef crumbled beneath his mo
| lars, like corn in mill and quart
pewters, the trophies Of his legs and
arms, streamed with bright ale After
I NdIQ, uo sulOh6tl Ills SGucIGUlC IlocI-
schaum, with that deliberate and grave
! enjoyment of which none but physical
! ly powerful men are capable. Lunch
| con over, walk to the covers was pro-
| posed, and we were soon immersed in
that discursive chat, dear to long-part-
! ed chums. Unfortunately for our quiet
! enjoyment, five barred gate threw it's
malignant shadow across our path. [
need scarcely say that [ had no more
imagination apropos of a FIVE barred
gate than Peter Bell of yellow prim-
rose. And have my private opinion
that Joe also had, by this time, got
into way when alone, of walking
through gates, when possible, rather
than vaulting over them. On the pres
ent occasion, however, the association
/ of ideas, I suppose, was too strong for
him for he put his hand carelessly on
the gate, anG-struck his knee heavily
against the top bar.
"Foot slipped" explained Joe, and
again he went at the gate, with the
noYance crossed his face, as If it we're a
humiliation to have to take a run at
such a mere bogotele as five feet six.
He felt, however, that he had gone too
far to recede with honor, SO he took a
rull, aud he again succeeded in banging
his knee. The saddening conviction
now began to dawn on poor Joes mind
| that he could not get over the gate at
all. The truth was horrible, but ire
/ sistible, and the moan of the fallen ath-
| lete was as touching as -Woolsey's la
ment to Cromwell, "Oh hang it {?
Tom," he said with a mournful shake
! of the head, this is too sickening! This
is the approach of the sere and yellow
with a vengeance. [ give you my word
| once got over six foot seven at Macs.
And now / have to sneak over five foot
six like a girl in petticoats No offence
meant to you, you know, because you
were never strong. But to slip through
ones six ages into the slippered pan
taloon by thirty-fYe! But it's all
those confounded gymnastics"
"Confounded gymnastics J" and
from those lips [ could not believe
my ears. No. The Pope might deny
his own infalibiiity. and Bass might
advocate a Maine liquor law, but Joe
hero of hundred 'Egrinds," the un-
W6dIlCu uuubCI VI UlIC COuIIl
never give the lie to his whole past life,
and deny his own gymnastics.
" Come Joe," [ said, soothingly,
"you're riled, old fellow. You must
be chatting about the gymnastics. p"
q tell you," he repeated, with
solemn emphasis, Its those cursed
gymnastics. They bring you into an
unnatural state of training and mus
cular Development, and the conse-
quence is, that you break down twice
as early as other men. Look at me; al
five and twenty was a sort of Milo
at five and thirty [ am a wreck"
I It was no use trying to argue Joe out
OF his position; beside, [ had no wind
TO spare for talk, as it was all [ could
do to keep up with this poor wreck,
stridirg along at five miles an hour
But, not being wreck myself, I soon
began to exhibit symptoms of distress
at this rapid pace, whereon Joe
graciously proposed that we should sit
on gate and chat Being anxious to
divert him, if possible, from the un-
happy train of reflection in which he
was evidently indulging, I started a
| hobby that [ hoped he would deign to
ride. :" Made any long scores lately,
Joe? p [ inquired.
What at ?n snapped Joe.
" Why, cricket, of course" ="
Cricket Do you think a man can
make score with pot like mine p
No sir, I'm too feshy for that sort of
thing too fat, sir. Do you know that
J L weigh fourteen stone seven And
/ what have to blame for it Those in
fernaI gymnastics. They put on great
Jumps of muscle at high pressure,
which, directly you return to a natural,
normal life, turn to fat.
[ tried to assure the poor fellow that
his case, as yet, was by no means de-
sperate-that he was far from Bant-
ing but he would not be comforted.
II tell you [ ought to know best,
Tom. 1t has been coming upon me
some time, now. [ had long had some
uneasy suspicious on the subject, but
was brought up sharp about two years
ago. [ was taking team to play the
opening match of the sarson with the
Stalkshire Hedgehogs. Well sir, when
L came to put on my bags, L found
had precious hard work to draw them
on. my thighs seemed to be in tights,
and the buttons altogether refused tc
meet. At first I thought they had
shrupk IN the wash, or possibly [ had
got a pair of my brothers in a mistake.
hut when tried another pair found
1t was still the same, and then [ realiz-
ed the stern fact that [ was growing a
pot. Since then have seldom played,
except with our own fellows, and !
shall give it up altogether next season.
This failure of nay best-meant efforts
d1smawed me excessively, for Tsaw that
had to deal with a perfect hypoc.
hondrlac on the subject of muscular
atrophy. He persisted in regarding
himself as shattered athlete, and was
perpetually 8 facing the informal facts, ,
as he phrased it. The slightest thing
set him off he would go off on the
very falntest scent. For instance, wher
his oldest how fna lad of aiObt