Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-06-22
Uncle Gabe's Shirt.

Longing HOUSE, HHcIt d fot VI uiiNCiS
are preparing for bed, among whom is
Uncle Gabe, the genius of the crowd.
Gabe's partner for the night draws
the attention of the boys, by singing
out! Hello, Uncle Gabe what makes
you wear such long shirt Well
now fellows I've worn long tailed shirts
nigh OH thirty years, l lost a gal by
wearing short tail shirt and if You
will keep still I'll tell you all about it.
Thirty years ago | was tOlerable
young man and lived in Texas, and in
the summer of 1872, some folks moved
ont thar FROM East Tennessee old
friends of ours, and they had three
likely gals, the oldest OF which had
a laundering arter back in the old
State. Wen, they had been ont B or
u weeks aforr heard Of il, but the
Sunday after l determined to strike
ont. 1 bought me pair OF SO pants
and a ancy ,eady made sh'rt, OF a
Jew, well win u c;,ine to pa; oil the
shirt the tail gin out just below my
waistband about 4 inches, well it was
the only clean one | had and ] wern't
a going to back ont.
1t was all of 80 miles to my Gals
and as 1 started late l didn't make it
till late and nothing to eat since break
fast | arrived tOlerable wOltish. They
had inst got into a new double log
honse, the end they were living in was
dObbed and chinked Dut the other end
only had the roof OIL. The old man
helped me- to put up my Mustang, and
we went to the House. Well | was
kind of bashfill and SGT down in the
Chimney Corner, and right alongside
of me sOt a long handled frying pan,
the kind they use Oh the plains. you
know got to running fIst eae fin.
ger then the other in the hole in the
handle. at last | got nay middle finger
in and fast and couldn't get it out. l
pulisd and sweat, t'want no. use, it
were there. just then they asked me
to set up to supper, but l said had
eat late dinner and werIi't a bir hun.
CRY, but Lord | were Orfnl hungry and
grub cooking made me worse. But
while they were at supper / got my
finger out of the hole. Well l talked
to my Gal till about 10 O'Clock then
then old man showed me t., {, bed in
the unfinished part of the house,
turned in tOlerable happy and misera.
bly, hungry. The wind bowed in
thrO' the logs on my head preay cod
SO I took my new Cassimeres nd
stuck in the crack aud went to sleep
was awakened in the morning i,y
hearing the girls getting breakfast, 20
!. thought would get up, and rra, he'd
for my pants and they want there,
that they had dropped Outen the crack
SO riz and locked thrO-arId, cuss mt
| il some yOung calves hadn't found
them and chawed 'em all to pieces.
laid down softly Did them calves
Pretty SOON one of the girls cO,nr to
the door and asked me to break.
fast. | told her l was sick and
couldn't eat, coud have eat a brlelG
Dorg Just then, they eat their grub
and the gals went to milk, could see
them when they got thrO' milking,
they rot the milk inside the back door
of my room at the foot of the bed t.
suckh the calves; thinks | now is my
chance to get drink Of milk, SO ont
bundled and gathered big wooden
bucket by each side, and was just let
ting it run, when the cussed pail drop
ped back over my head and l heard
the girls coming, knew l was fixed
SO | stood my grpund-open comes
the door, in pranced all three of them
gals, 4 gssed at them kalEied over the
edge of the bucket, hey didn't pear to
see the show until they got purity close
then they gin ysll and a whist and
was Ivy myself, ! gin the bucket twist,
got it of, kicked il under tine bed and
crawled back. Purity soon the old
man come in and l told him all my
miserable, and the old sinncr just laid
down and LATED, but he lent me a l,air
of pants. and they was as much tu
large al the shirt was too little, got
my mustang, they asked me to call
again, but 1 didn't, went home and
eat enough to make me sick week,
but got over it and Lit out fO: CaiifOr
mis-, and don't 60 much on Milk,
Youngs Calves, Short Tailed Shirts, oil
Jew Peddlers, since.