The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-06-30

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ews of the weak Hospital reports.
ak little, think much and act more. +
rare fower-Ths pink Of pohtsness.
ong of the billiard bali" O carom me
he height of fady's ambition-T~o .
feet.
khen is q cat like q teapot When
re teasin' it, =.
here is 30 much "whisky paper in Gin
haiti that money 10 tight.
roubles are like dogs, the smaller they
the more they annoy you. T.
ne for the topers.-A dFunkard's face
been described as ga cluster OF carbun-
with a ruby scenter:" /
len are born with two eyes, but with
tongue, in order that they may sec
&c as much as they say.
lard Times Coujugated.--A money lend
yerves you in the present tense, lends
! in the conditional mood, keeps yon In
subjunctive, and ruins you IN the
lre.
What is the difference between spirit
ping and spirit-tapping The result Of |
FIRST is to stagger few, and OF the
ond to make q good many stagger.-l
linus. Lilies, ...... = ".
,ncroachisg.-A very tedious counsel
enborough exclaimed: "Come-come!
b show some symptoms Of taste, but en-
ZACH ON our province" -.H
Who finds all the umbrellas that every
|dy losesf Every man We meet loses the
hbrella he buys, but we have never met
man that finds them. Answer wanted
fore the next fall of rain. .. 4
" celebrated" poet at one time adver-
ed that he would supply "Lines for any
casion." A fisherman sought him shortly
rewards, and wanted ga line strong
ough to catch porpoise."
60 Mrs. Miffins, said q visitor" Emma has
bur features; but think she has got her
ther's hair.'i "Oh, now 1 see," said the
ar little Emma: 'it's because have ia
er's hair that he has to wear wig."
| A gentleman of maleyolent and waspish
sposition having died, il was reported BY
me persons Of bis acquaintance that he
bisoned himself, on which a lady observed
Surely he must have bitten his own
bngue."
A prisoner arraigned before Recorder
as told: 81 really don't know whether
lea about it I" Prisoner Honor, al
have to plead is that you will not sci
own augLt in malice"
A gentleman of Chesterfield who hai
PISSED his umbrellas for some time, DAY.
+ two ago found it in conspicuous plac'
n his premises with the following inscrip
hon pinned upon it {: "This umbrallar a
krade on my konshens ever Gin stole him
A bookbinder said to his>wif at the wed
hing. t'It seems that now we are boun
ogether, two volumes in one, with clasps.
fYes," observed one Of the guests, con
ade' highly ornamented Turkey morocco
Ind the other plain calf" and the next me
bent was taking rapid strides down stairs
The Back Track.-Youth: II say, cabby
eill this road take me to Brixton !" Cat
" (considering): "Bri1ton ! Eli? o.
les, that'h take per to Bri5ton;" foot
gbliRped @ th s rg cabby IsaddeaIyj
But you'll hev to turn round and go tt
pther way"
"Maule,n said asomewhat vain althoug
profoundly learned judge speaking 70
Fitty friend, as he was qniety taking n
lunch of bread and cheese ID the judge
.brivate room-"Msule, why do you drin
.beers" "To bring my mind down to
level with that OF the other judges" w
she immediate reply.
When Handel once undertook in
crowded church to play the dismissal on
very fine organ there, tho whole congreg
.&ion became 90 entranced with delight th
hot an individual could stir till the usu
Drganist came impatiently forward n
book his seat, saying In tone of acknov
Edged superiority, "You can't dismiss
eoDgregstion. See how soon can ,dispel
Them !"
The Best Way.--A man once put on
gate placard bearing the legend, ono A
mittence." Two gentIemen passing I
Sone Of them remarked, 81: cannot -nnd.
Atand how any one in thesa days Of genel
Aeducation could do thing like that" 90
it's all right enough replied the 9th
f'The man thoughs that the best way
keep the people ont was to put IN Q
spell upon his gate"
Sheridan once told q good story Of
exquisite good breeding Of . bankers Gle
of whom the wit had borrowed 20
money, and to whom he actually repaid
Didnt he look asto1ished 2" asked
courteous friend. !" No.. said Sheridi
she was just going 20 Look astonish
when he remembered his manners, I
swept away the money 40 Unconcernedl.
if he bad not given up any idea Of seeip
again."
In one of the earliest trials befor'
+ YnN