Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-04-25
J. Varieties.

A STARE case-Very often ethe case
when one meets pretty girl on it.,
WHERE did ,Noad preserve the. bees,
during the food PIN the ark hives ~
The man who. "stood upon, ,hisaeYn5
responsibility" is to be indicted for IN
fantic;de?: ''''' .-'''r~~3t
AN old bachelor compares cor p r ! life life to /
shirt button, because it so often hangs
by thread. h1t-in 30 80 . s9sni'
A SLIPPERY Sending prettily
worked, comfortable slippers to single
gentleman. ~ .ius
PAY your little outstanding earthly
bills, and don't romance about the fall
ing dues of heaven. i.- anil
THE most popular newspaper in a
young ladies' seminary-The one which
makes the most hustle.
WHERE did Charles First's executioner
dine, and what did he take P He took
d" chop" at the Kings head.
WHEN opposite neighbors quarrel,
they can never come to a proper under
standing, because they argue from diff
ferent premises. --.ss,fg e
"IF you don't give me din1e," said
Young hopeful to his mamma, al
know a boy who's got the measles, ands
III go and catch them"
In the game of mystery, vulgarly
called hash, as played at our boarding
houses, the. tray is considered the best
trump-the choPping tray. noiiEy',,..
AT a recent meeting of the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ami
mails" the Whip-p -poor-will was refused :
al,r,iffonco n m ap1 hopShio t..ft I
A MAN who was told by clergyman
to remember Lots wife, replied that he
had trouble enough with his own with
out remembering other mems, wives
A CANADIAN editor announced that
che had keen rapier to prick all fools
| and knaves." His contemporary over
the way said he hoped his friends would
take it from him, for he might commit
suicide. -<t -f
A FASHIONABLE mothers advice to
newly married daughter t"Do not get
in the habit of taking your husband
with you to evening parties. Nothing
is SO stupid as husband at party, no,
SO everlastlingly in the way" -.
THOSE who have supposed that the
| South Sea Islanders are devoid of mod
esty are altogether wrong. In the win
ter the natives are neatly dressed in a.
Jacket and pantaloons of blue paint,
| fastened in front with buttons OF black
ink.
| A CORRESPONDENT of Baltimore paper
wants to know why marriages and death
notices should be paid for? For the
| best of reasons, one is an advertisement
of copartnership, and the other, is
notice of dissolution. Business is bust
| ness. ,'-
| A CONNECTICUT paper tells the story of
a new boy in one of the Sunday Schools.
| The precocious youth was asked who
made the beautiful hills about them,
and remarked that he did not know, as
his parents only moved in town the day
be fore. ..5eu-! I
A PUBLISHER lately gave notice that
he intended to spend fifty dollars for
" a new head" for his paper. The next
day one of his subscribers dropped him
the following note: Don't do it-bet-
ter keep the money and buy new head
for the editor" .+7tf'J 7o} sfhI4t'
THE scratched face of an elderly tciti-
zen, who has young, handsome and
rather vain wife, is. accounted for as fol-
lows: Sc My DEAR" said she, "people say
l walk like an Andalusian. Do you
think so?'' Gall but the. 'An," was
the brutal reply, whereupon she went
for him.
A PAPER gives the following directions
for using its new patent hen pills:
From one to ten boxes of pills is a dose
for young fowls. The best way to give
the remedy is to tickle the chicken
under the wings until it laughs, when
the medicine can be shot down its throat
with a musket or horse pistol"
A DEsERTER from the United States
army having been hanging around
Windsor, Ont, for a month past, sharp
citizen of that town thought he would
get him over to Detroit and make $25.
He spent So for drinks, oysters and
cigars, got him most to the ferry:boat,
and then the soldier gave him a black
eve and meandered off.