Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1872-02-24
frank Leslic's illustrated Paper.
UNCLE SANS CATEOHISM.

ScENE-SchOOl-rOOrn Of the White House.
On the 1st Of January the civil service
reform system was put in opberation in
Washington, and Uucle Samuel was
promptly on hand to supcrintend the com-
menccmcnt of operations, which he did by
calling before him Master Grant of the
White House. The examination Of this
youth was intended to be strictly private,
but some bad boys who don't like Master
Grant got themselves into the room and
made themselves very offensive to the youth
Grant by making criticisms and sneerng
illusions. But Uncle Sam didn't mind
them knowing that their turn would come
after while. We omit preliminaries to
Master Grants examination, as to what
name he was baptised by-whcther Hiram
Ulysses or Ulysses Simpson-aud what
his name was before lie was married, aud
if he really taught horse named " Dave"
to trot, or totcd wood to market, or tanned
hides, etc, and come to the essential part
Of the examination.
MORALITY.
L. S.-What is tie first duty of MANI
u. S. CT is to be found set forth in
the Bible: " lie that providcth not for
his kindred is worse than heathen."
U. S. Then Blair Gbbcd when he said
you told him you never read book. Your
study of the Scriptures has been commend
able. DO you know the generations of the
tribe of Jesse?
US. Ga good many, aud am looking
for more.
I. S.-Do you believe in original sin ?
L. s. G.-Ics.
L. S.-Givc illustrations.
L. S. G.-Dave Porter, Sumner, Dana,
Trumbull, that ID German, Schruz,
and
U. Stop there, young man; can't
have those boys abused, mind that. DO
you believe in the scriptural apothegm it
is better to give than receive.
L. S. G.-l,oth; it depends.
L. $50 receive is good?
L. s. G-You bet.
u. S.-Sir, have warned you about
levity. How about giving?
U. S. G.-Mixed; depends.
U. S.-Did you ever give anything to
anybody except your relatives
L. s. G.-Ies; to Forney, to hold his
CAB.
U.S.--Clcrk, mark him average in Nor
ality.
U. Slow many drinks in pint?
u. s. G.-Two square ones.
U. Show many horses make pair
u. S. G.-Two, sir.
I. S.-Can't make two out of one?
U. S. G.-Oh, yes sir Dexter 2:231.
L. S.-What is the first rule in arith.
metic?
U. S. G.-Addition.
I. S.-Thc second?
u. s. G.-Add more.
Y. S.-The next?
L. S. G.-Keep adding.
U. Snow if you were General and
had 100000 men. and your enemy only
5000 aud you could kill one of his, and
lose but two Of your own in doing it, what
would you do?
L. s. c." Fight it out on that line if
it took all SUMNER" and have something
left over.
U. S.-Bad humanitarily, but very good
automatically, and hest answer you have
given. Clerk mark him fair in Arithme-
tic.
L. Slow would you pay the national
debt?
u. S. G.-Annex San Domingo.
U. Slow would you accumulate q
fortune?
U. S. G.-Get all you can and keep all
you get.
U. S.-Who are the greatest fiuaucicrs
of this age?
Z: S. G:-Jim Fisk, john Morriscy and
Bill Tweed.
Y. s.-Thc greatest temperance apos-
tie?
U. s: G.-Can't tell Yates, or Chan.
dlcr, or: Salisbury.
u. S.-Friends Of yours?
US. G.-Always asked me to take some
thing.
GEOLOGY AND MINERALoGY.
U. S.-What is the prevailing stone Of
the globe?
u. s. G.-Seneca sandstone.
I. S.-What are the prevailing metals |?
U. s. G.-Silver and greeubacks.
U. S.-Where do you get the first?
L. s. G.-From the Emma Mine.
I. S.-And the second?
I. s. G.-From A. T. Stewart, Butter.
field, Boric and
L. S.-That's enough. Can't sit all day
for you to finish your list. Bad in geology.
GEOGRAPHY.
4. S.-Wherc's Cuba?
U. 5. G:-Dou'tk know but have got
box Of Cabauas. Have a smoke9