The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-09-20
NASBY.
The Great HumOrists Latest Epistle
from Chappaqua.
He Goes to nm Interior Village tC
Organize It--An Awkward
Middle.
CHAPPAoUA (Which is in the State Nv

CHAPPAoUA (Which is in the State uvl
Moo York;, August ~, 1872.
1t WIZ determined by our resident commit
tee that it wood be joodishus thing to do TO
hev the great and good Greeley 20 on a toor
thro the State Nv New Hampshire and Maine,
TO encourage the week and to sekoor the vas
silatin in those States. / opposed 1t, ez l he'd
he'd some experience with trips, hevin accom-
panied the immortal Johnson on all NV hizzen.
| wuZ overrooled, but they conceded to me
the arrangement Nv the toor, tho they took
control Nv he great and good man from the
start to its conclusion. They insisted that it
wood hev two good effects LIST, We should
dodge the frekent delegashuns wich affiict US
at Chappaqua; and, End, That the exhibition
Nv Horns wood hev good effeck on the roo
raj populis. | yieldid, and set about fifth
him for the jouIny. he'd very difficult job
to sit the philosopher up properly for the oc-
cashen. took whetstun and rubbed the in
side Nv hiz rito hand for hours till il per-
doosed SIGH callous spots orto it ez the most
horny-handed abrer III Vermont mite be proud
NV, and instructed him that when shakin
hands with the yeomanry to grip hard, that
there mite be no mistake ez to feelin them
callous spots on hiz labor-hardened hands.
then he'd him git out in the sun two hours
each day, with hiz face upturned, till he be-
come Drowned by exposure to the elemence ;
after wich he'd a badly-fittin SCOT NV close
made for him, that the people mite feel that
he he'd attempted TO dress up on their account,
but that, after all, he wuzn't accustomed to
SO much grandyer.
Then came the most difficult part NV the out
| fttin biznis, witch wuz to instruct him in wat
he shood say, but l succeeded. l charged him
espeshelly that he shood never menshun pol
| litix (ceptin that he mite now and then howl
| mild 10 Ont OH ha ny
and shood be speshey keerful to dodge all
them pnts out nv wich offence mite come.
| The toor. / remarkt, "is to be one nv sem
timent. We are on pilgrimage to the looms
Nv our ancestors we are goin TO revisit the
| scenes nv our childhood. eZ il wcre-to revive
remembrances Nv our youthful days and SIGH.
and il must DO confined strikly to that, hev
arranged with our committees on the route to
| organize for spontaneous outpourin NV the
people to receive yoo and 700 must speek to
EN- at each stoppin-place. wood recommend
that your responses TO the greetins be mostly
alloosions to the grandyer Nv the mountins
| and the purity Nv the air and water and above
| all, don't forgit the mother biznis. Eff YOU
Good ring in verbal pikter Nv yoor mother
yearnin for nooZe NV her absent son. il wood
| hev good effect 700 needn't trot out voor
father, for fathers is played out. It's the
mother that teches the popular heart. And
700 must git yoor eyes in condishen to drop a
l hev done good things before now by weepin
perfoosely at the rite time
| Thus prepared, the farmer-statesman left
the classic shades NV Chappaqua.
The mint the procession he'd started onto
its teor, packt my valise with a bottle, and
possibly shirt or two (tho RELY forgit about
| the latter, payin so little attenshun eZ | do to
the mere Injuries nv life), and started for an
interior village NV Pennsylvany, where made
| a speech last year, and consistently knowed
all the principal Demokrats j put up at the
old familyer tavern. where the ticket knowed
10 be good. / he'd barely time to hist in three
or four slugs afore ii wuz noised abroad that
l WIZ there. In twenty minits a person APP
peared TO interview me. He interdoost his
self ez n Mr.. Slodgers, Liberal Republican,
who he'd determined TO vote for Honest Old
Horace. / askt him to drink, wich he did,
and then went on. He wuZ Disguised with the
corruption and rascality Nv the Republican
party and felt that he must leave it. He
wanted purity--he yearned for return 10
suthin beside of1ice-seekin. Hence he he'd de-
cded to support Greeley. " But, resumed
he, - hev made sacrifices in this, and | must
hev ashoorences. l WIZ an unsuccessful APP
plicant for the Post Offs III this village under
Lnkip, in 1861 then agin in 1863 / succeed.
ed in gitten 1t W Johnson in 1866, when the
then incumbent wuz dismist. and held it till
April, 1869, when the tyrant Grant dismissed
me and reappnted my predecessor, and left
me to langush all these years without oftishe
position. and to subsst on the petty esrnins
NV my wife, wich is a milliner Ef Horris is
elected, KIN 1 hev that offs! | kin control
the Liberal vote NV this county, cir. l hold il
in the holier NV my hand"
"Say no more, sir, sed /. :" / fully appre.
shlate yoor poslshen. Wv course | kin make
no positive promise but il is safe TO say, sir
that the posshen shell be yoors. But that
Libral Republican vote, sir, must be all pollod
ali hold
He left the presence profoose NV thanks
and took four more drinks, hand-runnin.
Mr.. Slodgers hedn't any more than got on
when another citizen entered and announced
hissef ez a Libral Republican, wich his name
wuz Perkins. He wanted TO be understood, Il
begin with, ez holdin the Libral Republikei
vote la his hand. He Good control 1t. With
out his aid nothin Good be done With it. Ill
created it, and he held it to-day. But he heC
made sacrifices. He he'd bin candidate fo
Treasurer NV the county reglerly from 1856 &
date; but he'd alluz BIN defeated-by fraud
The last time he WIZ defeated--by fraud-h'
hedn't but two votes in the county convention
,, his uncle and brother-in-law. He wuz dis
gusted with the offis-seekin party, but Good Ia
be ashoored NV the Post Offs in the event u
Grseley's elecsken? He felt that eff be eve
! wuz agoin TO hev an offs this wuz the time
He wanted that Post Offs from the time h
WIZ twenty-One years old. Without my in
fooonce, sed he, 1.-THE Libral Republican i
this visinity will be nothin. /, sir hold tina
vote in the holler NV my hand. Kin hey tina
offs Z"
. he'd taken two drinks while talkn to hr
and wuZ oblivius NV everything that precede
: it. replied that NV course we coodn't max
promises now, but that he shood rest easy.
felt that there wood be nothin la the way u
| his apartment the minnit the Farmer NV Chal