Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-06-20
A NEVADA FUNERAL.

There was great Tune over Buck
Fanshaw when he died. He was rep
man"-not in his own quarrel, it is
true, but in the defense of stranger
beset by numbers. He had kept a
sumptuous saloon. He had been the
proprietor of a dashing helpmeet, whom
he could have discarded without the
formality of divorce. He had held a
high position in the fire department.,
and had been a very Warwick in poll
tics. When he died there was a great
lamentation throughout the town, but
especially in the vast bottom stratum of
society.
On the inquest it was shown that Buck
Fanshaw, in the delirium of a wasting
typhoid fever, had taken arsenic, shot
himself through the body, cut his
throat, and jumped out of four-story
window and broken his neck; and,
after due deliberation, the jury, sad
and fearful, but with intelligence un-
blinded by its sorrow, brought in a ver-
dict of death "by the visitation of
God What could the world do with
out jaries?
Prodigious preparations were made
for the funeral. All the vehicles in the
town were hired, all the saloons were
put in mourning, all the municipal and
fire company flags were hung at half
mast, and all the firemen ordered to
muster in uniform and bring their ma
chimes duly draped in black.
Regretful resolutions were passed and
various committees sppointed, among
Others COMMITTEES of one appointed to
call on a minister fragile, gentle,
spiritual new fedgling from an Eastern
theological seminary, and as yet unac-
quainted with the ways of the mines.
The committeeman, "Scottyn Briggs,
made his visit.
Being admitted to his presence, he
sat down before the clergyman, placed
his fire hat on an unfinished manuscript
sermon under the minister's nose, took
from it red silk handkerchief, wiped
his brow, and heaved sigh of dIsmal
impressiveness explanatory of his bust
ness. He choked and even she'd tears,
but with an effort he mastered his voice
and said, in lugubrious tones:
"Are you the duck that runs the gos
pel-mill next door 2"
~ am the-pardon me, l believe
do not understand"
With another sigh and half sol
Scotty rejoined:
"Why, you see, we are in a bit o.
trouble, and the boys thought maybe
you'd give us a lift, if we'd tackle you
that is, if I've got the rights of it, ano
you are the head clerk of the doxology
works next door,"
81 am the shepherd in charge of th'
flock whose fold is next door,"
The which ?n
"The spiritual adviser of the Ittl
company of believers whose sanctuar,
adjoins these premises"
Scotty scratched his head, reflected
1,noment and then said
"You rather hold over me, pard.
reckon can't call that hand. Ant
and pass the buck"
"How7 / beg your pardon. Wha
did understand you to say Pr
"Well, you've rather got the bulg
on me. Or maybe we've both got tn
bulge, somehow You don't smoke m
and don't smoke you. You see, on
of the boys has passed in his checki
and we want to give him good senG
off, and SO the thing I'm now on is
rout out somebody to jerk a little chil
music for US, and waltz him throug
handsome i1i-ir ''''il--.
"My friend, 1 seem to grow more an
more bewildered. Your observation
are wholly incomprehensible to m
Cannot you simplify them some way
At first thought perhaps understoo
you, but now l grope. Would it N
expedite matters If you restricted you
self to categorical statements of fact u
incumbered with obstructing accumul
tlons of metaphor and allegoryf'
Another pause, and more re1ectio
Then Scotty said:
"I'll have to pass, Judge" as.
"How7"
"You've raised me out, pard."
l still fail to catch your meaning.
"Why, the last lead of yourn is t
many for me-that's the idea. | cal
neither trump nor follow suit"
The clergyman sank back in his CHI
perplexed. Scotty leaned his head
his hand, and gave himself up to ref
ton. Presently his face came up, s
rowful, but confident.
"I've got it now, SOS you cavy," S;
he. "What we want is a gospelsha
Seer"
"a what?''
ga gospel-sharp-parson."
"Oni Why didn't you say SO befol
l am Clergyman parson."
"Now you talkl You see my bin
and straddle it like q man. Put
therer' extending brawny paw, VIII
closed over the minister's small ha
and gave it a shake indicative of frat
nal sympathy and fervent gratifcati
"Now we're all right, pard. L.
start fresh. Don't you mind me 81
fling little, becuS we're in power