The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1872-10-24
For the Daily Record.
DOVES. \
By OLD ORNITHOLoGY.

Gentle, innocent, eootng doves, are gen
erally ministering 10 ''the sick and wounded
bison" tses Hiswatha) Of the oil region
They are properly appreciated Of course,
and whether they come In the gulse aud
purity Of South Improvement Company.
Torpedo Monopoly, . nou.explosive State
Tax, . Transportation Company, or Of .
Rsaners Combination, they come as the
friend of the producer, and take him under
their protecting wing, while be has merely
to scratch for the food they feed upon. In
supplying their wants It 10 requisite that be
psy for the building, and sustaining OF forty
or nfty thousand barrels Of reduing, ca pacitI,
In distant out Of The wsy localities, instead
Of ons.third that amount at home; furnish
the iunds for brick blocks, and the rear end
Of an 'Ou 10" Railroad, and give tho own
er Of the former patent-ss first ofacer-to
the "On to- aforesaid. The producer
will thus have done bis whole duty, provid-
ed bs submit without grumbling TO be
gIycerined, csssd-oooasionsiiy exploded
and patent righted indefinitely, and resolve
himself into detective corps 10 smell out
infringemen.s.
Tho original purchaser Of the Sonth In
kprovement charter knowing II WAS harms
less bird, but not aware it wou ID bs u valsa.
BILE one here, transferred it-ior consider
stion-and too late learned 1t WAS dove
which with rich pickings would lay golden
Eggs. As soon % the mistake wss Doticrd
be-. viii. two good Samaritan assistants, de-
cided upon another purchase which SHOULD
swoop 10 the right d'rrc.io, from first hands
Another bill 10 drawn up, this time ior tie
presrIvs tion Of the dear people from uusSfe
oil OF the "non explosive" color, ihs 10 just
what the producers want to be pnre. But,
by the way. 10 the interest Of tue commons
wealth (and propsrwealth) we must have >
.maIl state tax OF one cen, per gallon, With
q seventy five pei. cent drawback in fa vor OF
Philadelphia, (that ia Ol We tbre-,) aud
alter inspectors. gangrrs, detectives rt al.
(rsprciAlly ct. aL) take their share from the
remaining twenty-five per cent, the baisnc.
will gay The first iustxment Of the Stale
debt while GabrIelis blow ing his horn; but.
Yin the meantime the producers will only be
taxed the trias (trom depression Of crude
along the entire linel OF two hundred thons-
and dollars per month, and every thing will
be lovely.
The proper winks, mods aud nudges are
given to six things;' but the Lightning
Carries the News to Mary; (if she lives on
! Oil Creek an additional blaz. Of excite
msnt 10 added to the conflagrstion already
raging; . halt is ordered; and this ring
dove is put 10 its little cage un.il them '.fs/
lers" quiet down and dispsrse. Coo!
The Pipe Lines are also philauth ropIsls
disgn ised-in ieathers-who ''put 10 .
thumb" Cor billy and pull ont drawback
from the crude pie. They deal largely in
paper oil, certificates, futures and other
tansibles indicating "hsavy" stocks on
"haud" consisting now principally Of
"heavy oil and sediment at home, aud oil
n the "hands" Of the Dutch st Amst. rdam,
Rotterdam, and other profsne burghs-
upon which the stock-doves charge percent.
sge, ripssge, leakage, storage, shortage
aud van other ressonableages which the pro-
ducsr ssreoely pays,.aud holds paper, while
the said stockys speculate 10 oil. Because
don't yon see. .ths' producers are not srppos-
ed to understand stocks, corners, longs,
shorts, puts, or options, and why bother
Them about II! So Notwithstanding the
protests Of the Shutter downs, the numerous
bank and Transportation Co. officer of the
city OF the blocks being "good citizen,
aind consequently mot having participated
10 the late action Of the producers"-sl-
though condescending to "par.icIpate" il
future benefits to producers srisiog there
from lis governed by existing clrcumstan/
css" starts up ibis iuani.esimal Interests
For oil is going up, Transportation tanks
are getting rlIsd, and certificates are not
good-ior thirty days. Coo! Cool
The Rsaners Combination constitutes An
entire flock OF doves OF the indsscr,bsbIv
simple, and innocent sorI, and daes not pro.
pose ths. the producer shall b. bs worried
with nxiug the price Of bis owa goods, hs
hss trouble enough already, wsdiug through