The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1872-11-29
A Melancholy Occasion.

"long, long, weary day. a regular NO
vember suicidal day, and the night closed
in gloomy and dismal.
As the angel of darkness spread his
sombre wings Over the earth, and the
clock in the old tower struck twelve, a
group of stricken men might have been
seen standing round an open grave. The
scene was lighted by a single torch, and
its lurid glare cast CHASTITY shadows on
the face of the crowd. Grief seemed
scared on every countenance. and sorrow
had taken his habitation or the faces of
all. 1t was a pitiful spectacle, and no
one with a heart softer than flint could
have. viewed the spectral assemblage OF
moist, unpleasant bodies, without an
emotion of sympathy. =.
The grave was a long, deep 'cha M
and seemed so made Us 10 contain a large
number Of the dead; but it Was not too
large. for the day had been a day OF bat
tie. and the slain were legion.
The pall-bearers approached the brink
of the "bioody chasm." and then could
be heard ringing out upon the atmosphere
of night the lamentations and the curses
of The dead-for, unlike other defunct
people, these departed One had retained,
Ofall their faculties, the power of speech.
The corpses were deposited by the side of
the "bloody chasm," and the funeral
rites began with the mourners taking the
last long lingering look at the faces Of
the deceased. The howl set up was
mournful and dismal. and could only be
likened to the wall of DaHtcs lost spr-
its, or a Democratic rejoicing over pre-
mature election returns from North Car
DINA. But your reporter will not finger
over this narrowing recital. Suffice it 20
say that the chief mourncr seemed to be
the president Of a corporation. who c
chief place of business Is on the west size
of Fifth street, and whose tears as they
fell in torrents we're sponged up by a long
Chinese handkerchief covered over with
strange figures, in long. perpendicular
lines, headed "Treasurer's account
credit and debit" and at the foot, ina
turkey-track hand, appeared the word
balanced"
The first corpse strik;ngly resemb'cd
a recent candidate for Treasurer Of An
drew county. and il was undoubtedly the
worst damaged of the lot. an account of
its havifg been killed by the strongest
warrior of the enemy, named Major,
who had pierced il through with $50
| holes. and had left it where it fell. to be
| worried by some dirty dogs" of Dem
ocrats. who had finished the job most
| effectually. The body was wrapped in
| the New Era, which acted ms a prevent
i've against worms, no worm havl nc yet
| been found SO low in the reptile kingdom
but that one dose Of the Era would Kill
it quicker than yerm;fugc. 'lt'sall a lie
got up by the id radicals; | covered
up the tracks to accommodate a friend;
were the last words Of this defunct party.
Then came all that remained Of him
who had never made Il mistake N his life.
Strange to say, this body was not clothed
with the judicial erm'ne, but there was.
fast gripped by it, hands, a paper which
read: Tive the bea;er what crackers
and cheese, and so rurth. lac wants for
his crowd, and char Z 10 NY account.
Signed, - -.
Next in the funeral array lay 4 very
dead Liberal, indeed, that much rcsem-
| bed a candidate who ran for Sheriff of
this county once. 1t occupied u small
place contiguous to the last, bu', Ike the
boy with sollcd lants, had nothing TO
say.
Then the sympathies Of pathetic souls
were excited by the spectacle of n mature
youth gone dead, with a torch in his hand
and bright visions Of a membership in
the Legislature that had faded nut INTO
this premature funeral. This corpse
mu!tered something about the six hun
bred enfranchised voters of Andrew
county not going TO the polls .Adiaccn'
thereto lay what seemed to be Ji,e Of the
chief friends Of the colored people, but
his bright visions Of handling Tie fa,
ducats of the taxpayers OF Andrew conn
ty had vanished into nothingness.
Further on, your reporter saw what APP
peared to be a renowned lawyer and ora
tor, but a closer inspection disclosed a
greater resemblance to the body of the
best lawyer of his age in the county"
In his arms lay a Liberal baby, which he
occasionally pinched, much to Hugh
Lewis disgust, who swore rOundly that he
had heard enough of hat things noise.
This lawyer took his demise phiiosoph-
ically. comforting his mind with the
thought Of how other great men CLAY
aud Wcbster) died disappointed in their
hvr"s, and that his administrator could
pay his share Of the extra pay wl.;ch
went to Incompetent county attorneys
without impoverishing his children.
But amid all the weird aud gl,astIy
sceae, that which most excited the com
l%.'SeratiOn OF your ~chrOnicler was ~" of
the slain, with very cold feet and badly ,,
red whisker, with it, right
hand over its lay widow, and in its left
a couple of passes over the Union Pacific
Railroad aud return. Il was pitiabIe 20
lear it cry out like Si,yit,.k for his last
1t muttcred: RESIGNED tho
Judgcship, worth 5000 Der an.
mum, to be beaten for Congress BY Nv
lear P; my friends all said | would he
,lected-Andrew county 600 for me,
'ure-I,5O0 majority in Buchanan-re-
are ungra'etul." /: shuddcred
'rightfully, and | would have turned
way sick AT heart, BIZ Just then, after a
ew moments spasm, Tie face assumed
t. natural expression. ami the voice said:
There is one consolat;0n; that Cranor
'utft in Gentry county is cleaned ont"
And now the hodies, despite all pro-
estatlOns, were thrust into the cold dark
'ehasn,' and Jimmy Elliott ordered the
exteas to cover up the whole. and to
pread over it u dlsinfcctant.