The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1872-06-04
Mark Twain on Rgfs Travels.

Sot llIO lle cars anu look seat IN
juN;aposition to female That females
face was a perfect insurance company
for her-it insured her against ever get
ting married to anybody but blind
man. Her mouth looked like n crack in
dried lemon, and there was no more
expression in her face than there was in
a cup of cold custard. She appeared as
if she had been through one famine and
got about two-thirds through another
She was old enough to be great grand.
mother to Mary that had little lamb.
She was chewing prize pop corn, and car
ried in her hand y yellow rose, while a
bandboX and cotton umbrella nestled
sweetly by her side. | couldn't guess
whether she was on a mission of chart
ty, or going West to start sawmill
was full of curiosity to hear her speak ;
so / said: e . ...r .... ...... r.
The exigencies Of the time require
great circumspecton in person who is
travelling"
Says she, "What p ,te .'
Says /, "The orb of day shines re-
splendent in the vault above" a,
She hitched around uneasy like, then
she raised her umbrella and said: f.
Il don't want any of your sass-git
out" And l got out. ID -..a . ,.
Then | took a seat alongside male
fellow, who looked like the ghost of Ham
let heightened out. He was a stately
cuss. and he was reading. r. 7f..'
Said !, sinister, did you ever see Il
camel leopard ?" l said camel leopard
because it is pious animal, and never
eats any grass without getting down on
its knees. He said he hadn't seen a
camel leopard. Then, said /, "Do you
chew" aas ... -.at a '.r -... .tt
He said, "No, sir" .Ia ,sff s.. -
Then l aid,"How sweet is nature =
He took this for G conundrum and said
he didn't know. Then he said he was
deeply interested in the history of a
great man. ALAS - he exclaimed, ''we
are but few" av sl ,.'..-i 7.,. ? .t..
Itold him knew one; "the man that
made my cooking stove was great
man. - 2. fcaas '-ija.& Hu ... a'
Then he asked, ''Would 1 read ?"
"Says I, What you got?' l7. sa7ar
He replied watts Hymns" "Reve-
rfes by Moonlight ~ and 'sHow to spend
the Sabbath" L''''>' ''}"'''''-
said, "None of them for Hannah,'
but if he had an unabridged Business
Directory of New York City, l would
take little read r -1} i.r" t,5f
Then he said, "Young man, look at
these gray hairs" .-'''' $40 =" 81 ,a
l told him I saw them, and when a
man got as old as he was he ought to
dye. Said I,"You needn't think these
hairs are any signs of wisdom. it's only
a sign that your system lacks iron; and
l advise you to 60 home and swallow q
crowbar."' Hf t.s. H.-9 ..' b.
He took this for irony, aud what little
entente cordialc there was between ,,s
was spilled 1t turned out that he was
chaplain of base ball club. ' 4'a2
When we got to Rochester called
for bowl of bean soup. 1t ought to
be called lead soup. l send you the re.
ceipt for making it: "Take lot of wa,
ter, wash it we'll. aud brol it until it is
brown on both sides; then very careful
| ly pour one bean into it and let it sim.
mer. When the bean begins to get
less, sweeten it with salt, then put it up
in air.tight cans, hitch each can to a
brick, and chuck them overheard, and
the soup is done 81 -a't' 9it
The above receipt originated with q
man in Iowa, who got up suppers on odd
occasions for Odd Fellows. lie has a
receipt for oyster soup, leaving out the
salt. -'','... 'a.T,.
Speaking of Iowa reminds me'of the
way got the moneyi'to pay for my
ticket and pay for that fellows supper
I bet fellow dollar that I could tell
him how much water to quart went un.
der the railroad bridge over the Missis-
sippi at Dubuque in year. He bet, ard
l said two pints to quart. won the
bet, but after all, that supper was an aw.
full swindle. If the city didn't settle
faster than its coffee did, its old settlers
club would be failure, and the city too.