Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-07-22
PUNCH AT GENEVA.
He Visits the Tribunal OF Arbitra-
ton and settles the American
Question.

Mr.. Punch always celebrates the be
ginning of new volume by doing som'
notable thing. On the 29th Of June. th'
date Of the first number of new volume
he accordingly visited the tribunal Of ar
bitration, now sitting at Geneva. With
characteristic modesty he makes himself
the hero of his own story, which he re.
lates in the form Of a preface, in the fol
lowing amusing fashion:
Gentlemen arbitrators: | salute you
in the concrete" said Mr.. Punch, walk.
ing up to the table of the hall Of Con.
gress at Geneva, " also salute you spe
cially, Count Sclopis, una voce POGO
ia; M. StaempAi my merry Swiss boy
point d'argent, point de Suisse; Baron
Itajuba, hope your sangre azul is cool
this hot weather"
/" Really, Mr.. Punch" said the Lord
Chief Justice Cockburn -.
"And really, my dear Sir Alexander,
was Mr.. Punch's lightning-like repartee,
How are you? and Davis, my Bancroft,
how are your Have you seen Mrs. Ban,
croft tin Caste Capita, ism t she ? And now
to business, and after that we'll 60 for a
row on the lake, my Allobroges. Know
they settled here, Davis?" 33A,i
81 know several things" said Mr..
Davis, and one is that you have no bus
iness in this chamber.
Rem acu titigisti, my Occidental.
My visit is strictly on pleasure. And i
reckon to have the pleasure of sticking
these here negotiations in creased
groove before / quit. .0E
"Porterl" exclaimed the Count Sclo-
pis, angrily.
Not drop, / thank you" said Mr..
Punch, smiling "We should not get it
good here. A bottle of seltzer, if you
please, with slight dash of the liquid
named after yonder lake, but unsweet-
ened. "
His exquisite good temperate asso-
ciates with Granville and Disraeli--was
too much for the dignitaries. They all
shook hands with him, said he was well
come, and begged that he would 60
away until dinner time.
Not bit of it my Beamish boys"
said Mr.. Punch :" / am going to earn
that dinner"
But dear Mr.. Punch" pleaded Mr.
Davis, we can't admit another British
representative, especially SO competent
one as yourself.
You are polite, and I'm cosmopolite,
my dear DAVIS. Non ubi nascor, sed ubi
pascor, and being asked to an interna-
tional repast | shall behave information
ally: :,
"You will have to let him speak,
laughed Baron Itajuba.
" You open your mouth to drop Bra
lillian diamonds, my Baron"
He'd better remain, for don't think
he'll go,i' gaily carolled the chief justice,
with "reminiscences of burlesque writ
ten at time when burlesques were
comic.
Take your brief. and belabor away"
sang the merry Swiss boy.
+" Come, Mr.. Punch, = said the Count,
you and ] have a common Italiun an
cestry. Do us credit"
icon rispetro parlando, Count, you
ought not to doubt that | shall. Arbi-
tratorsl Have you all read Rabelais2"
There's question:" shouted every
body, Indignantly. Have five great
nations sent clowns to represent them "
" l will soon see about that" said Mr.
Punch. When the good Pantagruel
was asked to decide o most tangled,
knotty, and vast lawsuit, over which
hundred lawyers had wrangled and fat.
tened for years, what was his first order2
Nay, answer me not in words, but let
me take my cooling draught, and see
whether you know Rabelais." uffl
AS with one impulse all sprang up, de-
light in each face. Secretaries and por-
ters were summoned, and every scrap of
paper from the smallest note to the most
gigantic case was removed into the
courtyard In five minutes all the
painted glass in the windows was richly
Illuminated and the flames roared like
Vesuvius.
"In these circumstances said Mr..
Punch, "and as thinking of the frozen
Caucasus will not enable one to bear
roasting, NJ. the Count you might order
me some ice. EtJAl4
"Icebergs to Mr.. Punch till further
notice" said the magnificent Italian, in
a style worthy OF Cosmo himself
You have studied Rabelais, said
Mr.. Punch, when the fire had subsided,
to be guided by his wisdom. Do you ao-
cept my sentence in this Anglo-Ameri-
can business as fnal2 No understand
ings, mind Swear it, with good mouth
filling oaths. .IAVl Maa
They all sent out fervent voices, but Mr.. |
Davis (who has the advantage of know
ing Mr.. Greeley discharged a kuss so
terrific that it tore all the other sounds to |
tatters. a4fUFLt
Hear, and record the oaths, immor-
tal godsl'' excaimed Mr. Punch in a
manner like that of John Kemble, only
superior in inpressiveness. And
now l shall give you a judgment like
that of the good Psntagruel Steno-
sraphers"
Then said Pantagruel Punch, aud
the pauseS amid his speech were more
awful than the sound"
mot having read one word Of the
,ackle just combusted, aud knowing and
caring nothing about the matter in
question, l hereby give sentence that
England shall pay to America on the
irst of April last, nineteen thousand
lottles Of bay, with a needle in each.
Shall on the very first Sunday in the
middle Of the week, further pay TO
America eleven millions of pigs in
,okes; and, finally, and without fail,
hall, in the next Greek kslends, remit
20 Washington two billions Of bottles Of
Imoke, and one thousand casks Of the
,est picked Australian moonshine,
and aerated.
But seeing that America, in her
urn. has reparation to make, hereby
i've sentence that she shall send to Eng