The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-02-15
Hints About Conversation.


Special conversation, says an English
magazine writer, is work, serious work
general conversation should be the diver
sion of our leisure. Special conversa-
ton is to end in resolve, and in action.
General conversation ends, as far as any
visible effect is concerned, with itself.
Thus, what is Familiarity called "shop''
should be rigidly banished from the lat
ter There are moments when women
may fairly compare notes about their
servants, their children, their dress /;
when lawyers may fittingly discuss their
suits, their clients, their courts, their re-
forms when artists may properly can
vass the time expended over certain pic
lures, their price, their technical merits,
and so forth. But, be it understood, all
this is business; it is nothing but" shop"
let the conversation be carried on when
it may. General conversation needs all
of these-indeed, there is no aid that it
scorns but it needs them as accessories,
not as principals. They should be used
as the side-lights, the timely illustrations
flashed upon the main theme, at mo-
ments when it is threatened with dark
ness or dimness. This main theme should
be no ones in particular, but should
seem to be any ones at times, and in
turns. Thus only can be reconciled the
two at first seemingly conflicting condi-
tions of all good general conversation
that it should not be mean, common, or
vulgar, and yet that everybody should
have an interest it.
1t lis the humility of some, and the az
rogance or egotism of others, that pre-
vent the happy combination from being
more common. People have only to be-
gin with three axioms-the first of which
is, that everybody is entitled (indeed
bound) to form his own opinion, quite
irrespectively of anything he may have
read or been told the second of which
is, that everybody is equally entitled to
declare that opinion and the third of
which is, that everybody's opinion is en-
titled to consideration, and that not on
ly on the ground of courtesy, but be-
cause it is certain that any opinion hon
cstly and independently formed is worth
something, and opportunely expressed,
may contribute in a striking manner to
current discussion. But for this most
desirable consummation to be reached,
difference of opinion must no longer be
thought to verge upon bad manners, and
truth or the pursuit of truth, not VIC
tory, must be the common quest.
The upper ten thousand of this world
pride themselves upon being so vastly
superior to the rest of the human race,
that they are confidently justified to
themselves when they strengthen the
barriers which separate them from the
common herd. We are not among the
believers in. the social equality OF men,
but we cannot allow ourselves to be
blinded by the spurious distinctions
which now pronounce them unequal.
Abolish distinction of dress, manner,
and speech, and where is the difference
between many lady and her maid, be-
tween many gentleman and his valet,
between some peers and their grooms !!
The conversation of the drawing-ro
is, in too many instances, not one whit
better or more elevated than that Of the
servants hall, and the discussions of a
smoking-room are perfectly on a par
with those of the stable. And if we are
to stick to our definition, does it not fol-
low that he is the highest man whose
conversation, i. e. whose thoughts-for,
depend upon it, the two things are con-
vertible-is habitually the highest and
the most soaringH