davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
adapted for this place:
BURIED ALIVE.

We learn from the Ottawa Citizen that
for some time past the work of remov-
ing the remains of the departed from the
old Roman Catholic burying- ground to
the new cemetery has been going quietly
on, and nothing more than might be ex-
pected under the circumstances occurred
until the other day. The sacred ashes
have been reverently taken from their
narrow beds and removed by the hands
of loving friends to the new city of the
dead. Affecting incidents have naturally
occurred, and some scenes bordering on
the revolving have been witnessed in the
old cemetery. Recently unburied bod
les have been uncoffined that fond eyes
might gaze upon their features for last
time before covering them with the sod
again One such incident of startling
nature occurred last Tuesday. A gen.
tleman engaged in removing the remains
of some of his deceased relatives, was
asked by an acquaintance, who was SIM
ilarly engaged, to assist him in lifting
coffin from grave. He did so, and
the lid was taken off. To the horror of
the small body of spectators who gather
ed around it, they discovered that the
body, which was that of an uncle of the
gentleman who was removing. it, had
been disturbed in the coffin. 1t was ter
ribly contorted. as if the deceased had
died in great agony. The face wore an
expression of intense pain and horror,
the arms were drawn up as far as the
coffin would admit, and the head was
twisted round to the shoulders, from which
the flesh had apparently been gnawed
by the struggling man. Sickened by
the horrible sight, the spectators drew
back from the coffin, and looked speech
lessly into each others eyes. Nota word
was spoken, but there was not man
present who did not feel that the deceas-
ed had been buried alive probably
while in trance-and had awakened
only to perish in his living tomb. The
coffin was closed again and taken to the
new cemetery, where it was decently in
tered. Every precaution was taken to
hush up the affair, but it had got abroad,
and now we publish it without giving
name. t--4.s
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

EooNoMIoAL.-We hear of an invent
i've genius in Kent county, Michigan,
who has for the last six months been
supplying Detroit with Eastwood honey,
being an extract of the juices of the
wood mixed with white sugar. 1t is
sold at the city hall market, and those
who have tried it say the taste is so near
akin to strained honey that it is difficult
to distinguish the difference. This is a
direct challenge to Connecticut, the land
of pine-tre hams and wooden nutmegs.
If our Eastern paradise of 'whittlings
and things does not take care, it will
lose its repute. The man probably lives
in Michigan who will produce fine ten
derloin beef out of red flannel, and but
ter from slippery elm and gamboge.
Can-nay, will Connecticut bear this ?
boston Globe.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

STRONG lANGUAGE.-When M. Veuil-
lot heard that Garibaldi didn't die after
Montana, he said, "We have always said
that God would not allow this man to
die on the field of battle. He will ex-
pire in sick chamber, surrounded by
pills and potions,' blaspheming and die
tating idiotic dispatches" A week or
two ago Garibaldi said of M. Theirs
that he looked "with pity and horror on
that blood -bespotted chameleon, shooting
Communists at Satory and bombarding
the ocean at Trouville." Now Catho-
lie organ, the Crusader, has come out
with an attack on Victor Emanuel, in
which the vigor of Veuillot and the play
full fancy of Garibaldi are combined.
'His Majesty" says the Crusader, was
looking even more repulsively ugly than
usual, his head nearly disappearing be-
tween his shoulders in consequence Of
his increasing bulk, and his complexion
always dark, having become nearly black.
His neck is now so short from obesity
that his enormous moustache rests on
each shoulder. and perpetual scowl
clouds his face. The excommunication
is written there in capital letters, and
he seems, and probably is, the most mis-
erable, as he certainly is one of the
worst, of men,"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
JOSH BILLINGS.
PATIENCE OF JOB.

Everybody IL in the habit ov brag-
ging on Job, and Job did hav konsider-
able bile pashunce, that's a fac, but did
he ever keep distrik skule for s dollars
a month, and borde round? Did he
ever reap lodged oats down hill in hot
da, and hav all his gallus buttons bust
oph at once? Did he ever hav the
jumpin teethake, and be made to tend
baby while his wife was over tu Per-
kinses tu teasquall Did he ever git
up in the morning awful dri and turf it
3 miles tu git drink, and find that the
man KEEP a temperance hous? Did he
ever undertake tu milk kicking hefer
with bushy tail, in fiji time, out in the
lot? Did he ever sot down onto lit
ter ov kittens in the old rockin cheer,
with his summer pantyloons on without
saing ''damnashun !'' If he could do
all theze things, and praze the Lord at
the same time, all have got tu sa, IL
Bully for JOB
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
DICK WOOD.
The Mount Sterling Ky.) Sentinel

Ihe Mount Sterling (hy) oentlnel
says:
Dick Wood, the Radical candidate
for Congress in this district, while can
vassing in the mountain the other day,
was compelled at one point to imbibe
great deal of applejack in order to con-
vince the natives that he was not one of
those .'high-fyers' who think them
selves made of superior stuff to the hon.
est and sturdy yeomanry. The conse-
quence was that Dick-after giving or
ders to be woke up at three o'clock in
the morning, that he might be able to
reach distant appointment next day
when he, retired to rest, was in five min
utes after he laid down ''as good as dead
man." Some scamps procured some
lampblack, which they mixed with wa
ter, and entering his sleeping apartment
thoroughly blacked his face. Next
morning, promptly. he was aroused at
three o'clock and was in such hurry to
be off that he did not take time to wash,
but bolted his breakfast and rode away
at brisk gait Arriving at his desti-
nation, he hunted up a prominent Rad
ical to whom he had letter of introduc-
ton and presented his credentials. The
gentleman read the letter, alternating
the reading with Dicks face, and then
asked:
"And you are Major Wood, of Mount
Sterllng?'
That's my name" replied Dick.
"Why, l thought you were a white
man. said the other.
Greatly astonished, Dick blurted out
"And so I am
"Well, you have - black skin
for white man"
"What the do you mean % said
Dick angrily. Do you want to insult
me?"
"No, sir; but you had better not at
tempt to speak here to-day. Our boy
won't stand a speech from a niger 7
ga niger !" cried Dick; why ther
amt drop of niger blood in my veins
I'm as white as you or any other man J
Seeing a glass on the wall, Dick step
ped up and looked in it. Starting bacl
with an oath that fairly made the blind
rattle, he exclaimed:
"Well, if them fools over to Wythe
vile haven't walked up the wrong man
and Wood is over there yet!''
Jerking off his hat he dropped into
chair and began vigorously to fan him
self. The other seeing his straight hair
and noticing that the back of his nee
appeared to be white, suggested soa
and water.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

STANLEY Upon THE PLATFoRM.-The
readers of the New York Herald must
have opened their eyes somewhat upon
perusing the report of Stanley's lecture
upoE Livingstone in its issue of yester-
day For months past Mr.. Stanley has
been daily advertised in the Herald in
instalments of from one to ten columns,
till the public was fain to believe that
the young African adventurer either
held exclusive control over the columns
of that enterprising sheet or that he was
very extraordinary and very perfect
young man indeed. The Herald has,
however, weighed Mr.. Stanley in the
balance as a lecturer, and found him de-
cidedly wanting. Heis, says the Herald,
'intolerably dull" his 'elocution is
bad," and his manner of treating his
subject was not such as to ensure a for
getfulness of his faults of oratory." Be-
sides, he only 'talked of commonplaces,
his anecdotes were spoiled IN the telling,
and his voice was pitched in a sing-song
and doleful monotone, !" In closing the
report the critic says that ''Mr. Stanley
has utterly mistaken the necessities of
the platform, and that it would be cruel
to him not to say So" And all this
from the Herald
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
DO NOT SLAM THE GATE.

Now, Harry pray don't laugh at me:
But when you go SO late,
/ wish you would be careful, dear,
To never slam the gate.
For Bessie listens every night,
And 50 does teasing Kate,
To tell me next day what o'clock
They heard you slam the gate.
Twas nearly ten last night, you know,
But now it's very late
We've talked about so many things,)
o, do not siam the gate.
For all the neighbors hearing it
Will say our future fate
We've been discussing, so beg
You will not slam the gate.
For though it is all very true,
l wish that they would wait,
To canvass our affairs-until-
Well-pray, don't slam the gate.
At least not now. But by and by,
When i'll ''our home" wait
Your coming, shall always like
To hear you slam the gate.
For whether you go out or in,
At early hours or late,
The whole world will not tease me then
About that horrid gate.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
Still fighting in Spain.

Soft words break no bones.
Mansard bonnets are the latest
England has a million paupers.
The Fenians are again organizing.
Cohoes, N. Y, has white hearse.
St. Louis escapes the epizoot so far.
Coal oil has been discovered in Iowa.
Russia is laying up large reserve of
coin.
1t is pleasant to do ones duty even
without reward.
Once more the gentle Apaches are phi
landering on the war path.
San Francisco proposes to build the
largest hotel on the continent.
Cars will be running through the
Hoosac tunnel within six months.
We shall soon hear of those big snow
storms on the line of the Pacific rail
road.
knowledge may increase sin if the
heart be not educated as we'll as the
head.
Apples sell at 81 per dozen in San
Antonio, Texas, and corn for fifty cents
per bushel.
Connecticut has very stringent IL
cense law, but then the people don't
mind it at ALL
The cholera epidemic has now spread
over the whole length of the Prusso-Pol-
ish frontier
Thurlow Weed, who is rs years of
age, has given up smoking after half
century's indulgence.
The Washington monument at the ma
tional capital is about 185 feet high, or
about one-half the intended height when
it shall be finished.
The wines now being imported from
France are almost universally spurious /;
that is to say, they are not what they
purport to be.
The people of Jasper county. Miss,
voted against railroad lest the locomo-
tive should scare the deer out of the
county.
The census of 1870 returned popu-
lation of 63,254 Chinese within the lim-
its of the United States. That number
has now been increased to 10000.
1t is claimed that the immigrants who
landed on our shores last year added up
ward of $285, 100000 to our national
wealth.
We hear great deal about labor re-
form, but there seems to be a greater
need of reforming some of those fellows
who don't labor.
Gen. Grant says, "Mr. Sumner may
hammer away at me as much as he pleas.
es, but he must spare our national flags
and the monuments of our brave sol
diers.''
And now they say that black pepper
us adulterated with soap stone saw-dust
increasing the weight rapidly. We have
not heard what soap saw-dust il
adulterated with yet.
/ Some ship builders say the failure o
iron in ships will cause revival il
trade in wooden ships, and assert tina
iron vessels are always ready to sinl
when the heads of the iron rivots be
come corroded.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

A PUZZLE IN ARITHMETIc.-When
three Irishmen dug ditch for which
they were to receive four dollars, the
trouble was how to divide four among
three and have it equal. One of them
remained quiet and the others at last
deferred to his judgment, as he had been
to school and knew 'rithmetic, to make
the division. He did it at once, saying:
'It's alsy enough. Shure, there'e two
for you two, and two for me, too. !" .'Be
gorra," said one of the co.laborers, what
great thing it is to have learning ]"
"And," said the other, as he pocketed
his single dollar, land to know 'rithmet-
ic too It's the likes ofus two'd never
divided them four dollars aqually."
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
ORGAN OF THE FIGHTING EDITOR

The John Bull newspaper, edited by
Theodore Hook, frequently INDUCED in
offensive personalities, in remarking on
the conduct and character of public men.
A military hero. who would persist in
placing himself conspicuously before the
worlds gaze, received a copious share of
what he considered malignant and libel
Gus abuse in the columns of said news
paper. His soldiers spirit resolved on
revenge An officer and gentleman
could not demean himself by calling on
a hireling scribbler for honorable salts
faction. No he would horsewhip the
miscreant in his den, the BULL would be
taken by the horn !
Downing his uniform and arming him.
self with huge whip, he called at the
Office of the paper, and scarcely conceal
ing his agitation, inquired for the editor
He was invited by the clerk to take
seat in the room. He complied and was
kept waiting by the clerk, who recogniz-
ed the visitor, ran up stairs and informed
the editorial responsibility of his name
and evident purport. After an aggra-
waiting delay, which served considerably
to increase the ill-temper of the officer,
the door opened and coarse, rough
looking man, over six feet in height,
with proportionate breadth of shoulder,
and armed with bludgeon, entered the
room.
Walking up to the surprised and all
cry visitor, he said, in voice of thun-
der
care you the chap as wants to see
me 2"
"You, No. I wish to see the editor
of the paper
That's me; I'm the very man.
"There must be some mistake
"Not a morsel I'm the hitter of
this BstH' said this fellow, bringing the
nobbed end of his bludgeon in fearful
proximity to the officers caput.
"You the editor. Impossible !''
"Do you mean to say I'm telling lie, :"
roared the rufian, as he again raised his
knotty argument.
Certainly not-by no means" an
swered the officer, rapidly cooling down,
and dropping the whip and his wrath at
the same time. a
Very well, then What are you
wanting wi me?''
"A mistake my dear sir; all a mis-
take. l expected to meet another per-
son. I'll call some other day. and the
complainant backed to the door, bowling
to the drawn stick before him.
"And don't let me catch you coming
again without knowing who and what
you want. We're always ready here for
| d1l SOIlo VI my UT naval,
civil or military, horse, foot or dragons, y
The officer retired, resolved to under
60 another goring by the Bull before he
ventured to encounter the herculean pro.
portions of the fighting editor.
When the clerk informed the occu
pants of the editorial sanctum of the
visit of the irate colonel, neither HOOK
nor the publishers cared to face the horse
whip. A well known pugilist, the land
lord of tavern in the vicinity, was in
stantly sent for; a slight preparation
fitted him for the part, in which he ac
quilted himself with complete success
The story rapidly circulated, and tn
reputation of the fighting editor of tn
John Bull prevented further remon
strances from persons who felt them
selves aggrieyed by the liberty of tn
press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

An unexpected meeting of long sep
arated father and son took place in a
San Francisco restaurant the other day.
The father had been in the mines for
years, but through the removal of the
family his letters had failed to reach
them, and they had believed him dead
until the son recognized him in the
bearded gentleman sitting opposite him
at the table
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
BARTON. VERMONT MoNDAY DECEMBER 1e, 1872
THE MAN WHO CHEATS THE
PRINTER.

The man who cheats the printer
Out of single cent
Will never reach that heavenly land
Where old Elijah went.
He will not gain admission there,
By devils he'll he driven,
And made to loaf his time away
Outside the walls of Heaven.
Without a man to greet him,
without pleasant grin;
$ The happiness that he will reap
Will be almighty thin
He'll have to eat the thistle
Of sorrow and regret;
He'll have to buck around right smart
With cussedness, ''you bet J"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
ROME WASN'T BUILT in A DAY.

The boy who does stroke and stops
Will never great man be;
'Tis the aggregate OF single drops
That makes the sea the sea.
The mountain was not at its birth
A mountain 30 TO speak;
The little atoms of sand and earth
Have made its peak peak.
Not all at once the morning streams
The gold above the gray;
'Tis thousand little yellow CLEANS
That make the day the day.
Not from the snow-drift May awakes
In puppies, reds and green's;
Springs whole bright retinue it takes
To make her queen of queens.
Upon the orchard rain must fall,
And soak from root to root;
And blossoms bloom and fade withal
Before the fruit is fruit.
The farmer needs must sow and till,
And wait the wheaton bread;
Then cradle, thrash and go to MILL
Before the bread is bread
Swift heels may get the early shout,
But, spite of all the din,
1t is the patient holding out,
That makes the winner win.
Make this your motto then, at start,
Twill help to smooth the way,
And steady up both hand and heart,
Rome wasn't built in a day!"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

"How does that look, eh % said big
listed Wall street man to friend, hold
ing up one of his brawny hands.
"That," said the friend, slooks as
though you'd gone short of soap
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
CHRISTMAS AND THE DYING
YEAR. ~ -ffa.-

To crown the closing year; n
Peace and goodwill to mortas,
And words of holy cheer
What though the dreary landscape
Be robed in drifted snow,
II on the social hearthstone
The Christmas fire may glow 2" --s
The year is almost finished; December,
formerly the tenth, but now the twelfth
and last month, has come winter has
spread his snowy mantle over the face
of nature, and the short days are carry
ing us rapidly onward to the end. But
although these are the days
'when cicles hang by the wall.
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail"
December is generally happy m0n ii,
and it is crowned with the Christmas
holidays, now almost universally observ-
ed. Like many other festivities and GER
emonies, Christmas has double origin.
AS a day set apart in oonmemoration of
the birth of Christ, its first observance
known to history was not from the close
of the second century. There has been
much controversy as to the true date of
Christ's birth. and although the 25th of
December was at last decided upon as
the day of celebration, it is generally
conceded that it does not correspond with
actual date of the Savior's nativity. But
it is in the spirit, more than in the mere
date, that is of Importance. The heath
en- nations, far back in antiquity, held
various festivals at this time of the year,
and the church, in the early days of
christianity, tried to give sacred char
acter to them, and thus, while to GER
tain extent retaining the old customs,
advance in interests of true religion.
Christmas and the old and new year
have been favorite themes with the poets,
and these lines of Tennyson are well
adapted for this place: e...~
| "Ring out, wild bells to the wild sky,
| The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out, the old, ring in the new,
Ring happy bells. across the snow;
| The year is going let him go;
| Ring out the false ring in the true.
Ring in the valiant and free,
The larger heart, the kndlier hand;
| Ring out the darkness of the land
Ring in the Christ that is to be-"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

kXTHOLEsALE ana retail dealers in Flour, Corn
wv Pork and Lard, Pants and Oils, Hardware,
Nest India Goods Groceries, Butter and Cheese. Also
Nm. L. Bradleys l. X. L. Phosphate and Sea Fowl Gu
|no.
AARON TwoMBLY. j. Il. TWoMBLY.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

A SAD CAsE.-A hard working and
honest being who was gifted beyond his
kind in the matter of leanness, gained
for some years an excellent and honora-
BILE living by adopting an attire consist
ing of suit of fesh-colored tights and
a pair of slippers, and exhibiting him.
self to an admiring public as a living
skeleton. His exceedingly bony condi-
tion was in fair way of becoming a
great source of wealth to him, when, in
an evil hour the tickle goddess frowned on
him, and he began to gain flesh. All of
his knobby points have disappeared. and
unhappily he is no longer the disgusting
and repulsive object he was. He has
now got to learn another profession or
come to want. Here is mobile ambition
crushed just when it was at the culmin-
ating point of its development. So for
tune first tempts US to high aspirations
with her smiles and then betrays us.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
MARTIN ABBOTT.
7, T.. DWINEIL.

Carriage Maker and Genera
ious styles of carriages always on hand. Glover Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

Very few people enjoy money, because
they can't get enough Of it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

In MANUFACTURER and dealer in Furniture of all
IINl kinds and descriptions, Carpets, Room Paper
curtains and fixtures, also Collins and Caskets, Picture
ames Spring Beds &c. Glover Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
A. G. ROBINSON,
WIN. w. CIRCUIT,

dealer in Flour, Grain W. /. Goods,
w Groceries, Lime Plaster, Oil, Fish, Salt, Iron,
Jteel, Nails, Glass &C., Depot Store, Barton, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

4 A TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor in Chancery.
IN viii attend courts in Orleans and Caledonia
kounties Prompt attention given to collections
Greensboro, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
w. w. EATON.

A TTORNEY and Counselorat Law and Claim Agent.
IA viii attend the courts in Orleans and Caledonia
ounties. Barton, VT
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

kDEALER IN BOOTS, SHOES, and findings ofthe
) best kind and quality. offered cheap for cash.
tore over A. Il J. L. Twomblys. 2
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
DALE & ROBINSON,
i. WOODNIAN,

A TTORNEYS and Counselors at Law, Barton, Vt
RA GEO. N DALE. J. d. ROBINSON
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
A. *, III. TVOMBLY,

MRS. GEO. G. DAVIS,
.ANT AND VEST MAKER,
Barton, Vermont
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

FAINTER. Painting, Glazing, Graining. White
washing and Paper Hanging. All work done in
he best style and satisfaction guaranteed. Saws filed
order.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16

DAVID GILLIS,
NEALER IN HARNESSES. blankets, whips, curry
combs, &C.. Barton Landing, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-12-16
JSINE,SS DIRECTORY.

C. r. PERCIVAL,
HEALER IN FURNITURE, COFFINS d CAsKETS.
4S Water St. Barton, VT.