The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-07-12
Varieties.
For whitening the hands-Honesty.

FOR whitening the hands-Honesty.
CoNTRABAND Of war-The pipe of peace.
A SERIOUS turn-The twist of ones
neck.
SOMEBODY wishes to know if pigpen
is used to write hog-latin.
INCREDIBLE as it may seem, many Of
the richest planters of Jamaica live on
coffee grounds.
AN exchange describes sable.clad
missionary as looking as if he had been
vaccinated for lack clothes and had
broken out all over.
"TUNcH" says it is very natural for q
man TO feel girlish when he makes his
maiden speech.
A CINCINNATI paper describes the pat.
tern of Dolly Warden as fred floss
rhinoceroses roofing up a black satin
morass."
THEY fired two shots at him. wrote
an Iris reporter " the first shot killed
him, but the second was not fatal
The Plymouth Sentinel gently alludes
to one of its townsmen as the fly blown
office seeker; the worn-eaten land-shark,
and avaricious mortgage-scalper."
"SIx feet in his bootsi" exclaimed
Mrs. Beeswax what will the impu.
dence of this world come 10, ! wonder?
Why, they might as well tell me that
tne man had six heads in his hat. -
Tue following knotty question claims
the attention Of one or all of our debat.
ing societies If man has tiger by
the tail, which would be the best Tor his
personal safety-to hold on or let 90 ~
AT an infant Sunday school the
teacher gave the Bible story of the
Prodigal Son." When he came 10 the
place where the poor, ragged scnIeached
his former home, and his father saw
him " great way off, heinquired what
his father probably did. One of the
smallest boys, with fist clenched, said;
" | dunno, but | dessay he set the dog
en- him."
JOSH BILLINGS says that the difference
between blunder and mistake is
this: When a man puts down bad
umbrella and taxi, up good one, he
makes mistake but when he put
down good one and takes up bad
one, he max es blunder.
A NOTED wag in Western college one
morning read theme of unusual merit.
The President being suspicious, asked
pointedly if it was original. Why,
yes, sir, was the reply, &" it had original
over it in the paper took it from
THIS is from the Danbury Nelos, Of
course: "A Connecticut boy swallowed
three marbles and four bullets recently,
and, being somewhat of bony struc.
ture, is now utilized by the neighbors,
who borrow him as rattle-box to amuse
their babes and sucklings."
IN the Wyoming Legislature, the
other day, when man insisted he was
not out of order, his opponent jerked OF
his coat, shouting, Mr. Speaker, if some
reliabl,, man will hold these buds, III
teach him he is out of order;'' and the
point was carried.
A NEW ENGLAND advertiser wants "a
woman who fears the Lord and weighs
200 pounds, and the editor of the sheet
in which the advertisement appears re-
marks that 1.-The experience of most
men is that woman who weighs 2OO
pounds rarely fears the Lord or sny'
body else"
THE Danbury Ne,oS says :" We pre- |
sumo many Of the owners Of lots in the
cemetery have no objection to the peo' |
pie helping themselves to the flowers on
the graves, or digging up hedges, but
they unanimously unite in requesting
visitors to remove their boots and shoes [
before climbing tombstones."