The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1872-11-13

look - kind ef awful that the ebil
dreA couldn't stand il no way Sl'
was always dropping il cat, anl
turning up her old dead light Oh The
company empty, and making then
uncomfortable. becuz she RcyeI
could tell whaa il popped out, being
blind on that side, yoG see. So
somebody would have to hunch her
and say, Your game eve hez fetched
loose, Mss Wagner, dear and ther
all OF them would have 10 sit and
wait till she jammed in 1t again
wrong side before as a general thing
and as birds egg, being bashfgl
cretur and easy sot back before com
paay But being the wrong side be
fore warn't much difference any way
beeuz her own eye was sky blue.
and the glass one was waller on the
front side. 50 which ever side she
turned Il. if didn't match nobow
Old Miss Wagner was considerable
on q borrow, she was When she
had a quilting or Doreas s'iety st
her house, she gen ally borrowed Miss
Higgins wooden leg to stump around
on it was considerably shorter than
the other pin, but much she minded
that. She said she couldn't abide
crutches when she bad company, be-
cuZ they were so slow. When she
had company, and things had to be
done, she wanted 10 get Up and hump
herself She was as bald as 4 judge,
and so she had to borrow Miss Ja-
cob's gig-Miss Jacobs was the eof-
fn pedlar's wife-a ra;ty old buzzard
be was, that used 10 90 roOsting
around were people was sick. waiting
for them and there that old rip
would sit all day in the shade, on a
coffin, that he judged would ct the
candidate and If il was a slew Gus
toner and kind Of unceFtain, he'd
fetch his rations and a blanket, and
sleep in the coffin nights.
He was anchored cut that way
in frosty weather for about three
weeks once, before old Robbins place,
waiting for him /; and after that, for
a. much a. two years Jacobs was
not On speaking terms with the old
man, on account Of his disappointing
him. He got one Of his feet froZe,
and lost money toe, becaz old Rob
bing took a favorable turn and got
well The next time Robbins got
sick Jacobs tried to make up with
him, and vanished up the same old
coffin and fetched it along with him !;
be had him in, and 'peared 70 be pow
erfnl weak /: be bought the coffin for
ten dollars. and Jacobs was 10 pay II
back and twenty-five more besides If
Robbins didn't Ike the coffin after
bed tried it. And then Robbins
died. end at the funeral be bursted
of the lid and riz Up IN his shroud
and told the parson to let up on the
performances, becGz be could not
stand such Z coffin as that You see
be had been in "A trance once before,
when he was young, aud be took the
chances on another, eallating that If
be made the trip It was money in his
pocket. and if he mis- sed FIRE
he couldn't lose a cent And
by George, be sued Jacobs for the
Rhino, and got Judgment, and be set
up the coffin in his back parlor and
said be lowed 10 take his time now.
1t was always en- aggrsvation to Ja-
cobs, the way that miserable old
thing acted
He moved back to Indiany pref
" soon-went TO Wellesville-
WellesvIlle was the place the Hoga-
doms was from. Mighty fine fami-
~ Old Maryland stock. Old
Squire Hogadom- could carry around
more mixed licker, and euss better
than most any man | ever see. His
second wife was the Widdcr Billings
she that was Becky Martin her
dam was Deacon Donlap's first wife.
Her oldest child. Maria, married
missionary and died in graee-et up
by savages- They ct him too, poor
him. II wasn't the Gus
tom, so they say, bat they explained
to friends of his'n that went down
there to bring away his things. that
they'd tried missionaries every other
way and never could get any good
out Of 'em-and 50 it ANNOYED all his
relations 10 6nd that mans life was
fooled away just out OF derned ex-
pertinent, soto speak But mind you
there amt anything ever really lost:
everything that people can't under
stand and don't see the reason of does.
good, if you only hold On and give it
a fair shake; Providence don't fire 10
blank cartridges, boys That there
Dissionary's substance, bows, unbe
beknowns 10 himself, actu'ly convert.
ed every last one of them heathens
that took chance at the barbecue.
Nothing ever fetched them but that.
Don't tell ne il was an accident that
be was billed. There amt no such
thing as an accident
When my Uncle Lem was lean
3g up agin a scafold once, sick or
drunk, or suthin', an Irishman with
4 bod full Of bricks fell on him out Of
4 third story and broke the old mans
neck in two places. People said il
was an accident Much accident
here was about that. He didn't
know what he was there for, but be
vas there for a good object. If be
hadn't been there the Irishman would
nave been killed. Nobody can ever
make me believe anything different
rom that Urele LENS dog was
here. Why didn't the Irishman fall
IN the dog! Becuz the dog would
i seen him coming and stood from
lnder That's the reason the dog
appinted A dog can't be
depended on to carry out a special
,rovidence. Mark nv words, it was
put-up thing. Accidents don't hap
zen, boys. Uncle LENS dog-I wish
Tou could seen that dog. He was
regular shepherd-or rather be was.
'art bull and part shepherd-splendid
IniInal, belonged to Parson Hagar
'efore Uncle Lem got him.
Psrsoa Hagar belonging to the
Western Reserve Hagars-prime
amily his mother was Weston !;
ne of his sisters married Wheeler: