The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-08-09
Nasty.
4 Geod Democrat Gone-EIder PennIbacL a.
er's Denth-Mbat Killed him.
CoNFRDRIT y ROADS,
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky
InIu


CoNFEDRIT X ROADS,
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky
July 20. 1872.
We hev lin smitten Deaths icy hand hez
reno we'd from our midst one who wuz to-
wunst an ornament and a pillar. Elkanah
! Pennibacker IL no more.
Elder Pennibacker wuz native NV Ken
lucky indeed no other State Good hev per-
doost SIGH man. He wuz born in the very
house in which he died. or rather he died in
wat wuZ left Nv it. 1t he'd bin a large house
wunst but when Linkin emanspated the mig
gers, and the Elder and his six sons wuz de-
prived NV labor, they found it impossible to
git tirewood. After the rail fences wuz gone
they commenced on the house, and he'd yoosed
il all up but four rooms.
The death NV tins good man is doc to the
Greeley movement He never wuz capable NV
understandin it, and at first refoosed to Weld
to n. He refoosed to buy one Nv the white
hats wich / brot back from Cincinnati and
Bascom wuZ forst to take stern measures with
him. " Nary drink, Elder, till il goes under
that hiatt" That fetched him. He put it on.
Wat do we want to take up Greeley for" he
asked.
ITO beat Grant with !" ansered.
why not take up Grant TO beat Greeley
with 2" replied this honest, tho obtoose, old
man, to wich / didn't say a word findin an
anser somewat difficult
He accepted Greeley however, tho il wuz
mostly becoz we insistid on it, but he did 1t in
a dazed sort NV a way, and wuz never hisself
afterward. He deliberately cut down two
hickories wich he he'd in front NV his house.
and he spent the most NV his time spellin out
articles IN an old copy Nv the Ir'ibOon.
I'm a Dimocrat," sed he, sadly with a
puzzled look, land l find. akkording TO my
candidate fur President, that I'm a hoss-thict.
a liar, perjered villin, slum, q harlot, and
that I'm bought with British gold. amt har-
lot, and never wuz, and eff I've bin bought with
British gold, where's the gold 2 Good Heyins !!
l shell 60 mad"
And the wretchid old saint. who was afflicted
with mind which wuzn't calkelated to grasp
the suttleties of modern politiX, wood rush
out ov his house INTO the field, and calm his
self by communion with nacher.
Last Toosday we ratified. He kerried
torch and he'd on white hat, but he actid in
very eccentric manner. He didn't keep in
line, and wuz constantly murmurin to him
self, 81 amt harlot-I amt harlot, and /
never wuz." He went home without takin
nothin at Bascoms, and then knowed suthin
wuZ wrong. No Kentuckian kin survive his
loss NV appetite.
1t wuz ez feared Wednesday mornin he
wuZ unable to rise from his bed, and went TO
see him. His mind wuz wanderin. In his
delirium he asked me to pay him nine dollars
and half wich borrowed nv him five yeers
ago. l wuz satisfied from this that he wuz
failin. / gave him little likker in a spoon,
wich brot him to hsself
Parson, sed he, somewhere I've read an
anecdote Nv man wich wuZ drunk, and wich.
leanln up agin a tree, vomited. While he wuZ
contemplation the elected contents NV his
stumick little dog came snutfin around, and
the man saw him, and WIS amazed. Thun-
der, he remarked, L know whore | eat them
crackers, / member with utmost 'stinctness
where got that bolony sassage, but d--m me
eff know where l ate that dog Parson, I'm
in the same fix. l hev taken the Cincinnati
emetic and It's worked. i know where / got
my free-trade, l remember distinkly when l
got my States rites, but I'm ID ef / know
where l took in that Greeley pup, with an
ablishen head and high protective tariff tail.
Parson, it's too much" And the good old man
buried his head in the kivrn and wept yocif-
erous.
/ left him, but returned in the afternoon. l
found him worse than ever He had deliber
ately gone to his closet and taken out banner
witch he he'd proudly carried the year afore,
wich represented Greeley embracin a niger
woman wich weighed 200 lbs, and he'd torn
that banner from the supportin frame, and
wrapped hssef into it, He he'd destroyed
ali the notices wich we yoOsed to carry, such
ez " No niger supremacy" White men shell
rool Ameriky," and SIGH, remarkin, ez he re-
garded the wreck Nv EN-, " shell die, parson,
but thought best to leave nothin behind that
wood embarrass 700" / took occasion TO hint
that he he'd better add that note Nv hand NV
nine to the rooms. and he sed sadly that it
wood he ez well. " 1t amt with no more than
the rest, he remarkt.
He got into bed agin and sunk into
troubled slumber In about an hour. he
awoke, when his dimed eye happened to rest
onto the white hat of mine, wich / he'd hung
onto the bed-post He riz up III bed, holdin
his hands afore his eyes ez eff to shet out some
horrid vision, and, shreekin violently, sunk
back corpse.
Thus died Elder Pennibacker, one Nv my
first friends at the Corners. He wuZ stanch
and stoopid. He wuz bleeve in States
rites. III Ham and Hager, and III Democracy.
He died from a severe attack NV supposin
Horris Greeley to be ez honest eZ he wuZ
himself. He woodent turn Ablishnst for no
offs. and he spoZed that Horris wuz still the
same old heather that he alluz wuz. He
bleeved that Horris had swallered the Dino
cratic party, and do wot l Good, Good not
make him understand that the Oimocratic
party he'd slavered HorTs over with the Presi-
dency and swalered him. Poor old man
He don't understand SIGH pollitishens ez do,
or he wood hev knowd better and lived. He
died NV stoopidity, disease wch, eff it wuz
alluz fatal, wood redoose our party to a mere
nothin, noomercally.
Deekin Pogram and | are administrators NV
his estate. Ez Bascom hez mortgage on the
farm for all it il worth our dooties will be
light There amt been a crop raised on the
place sence the emancipation Nv the niggers,
and Bascom heZ furnlsht him and his sons his
likker ever sence on tick. Most NV the prop
erty in this vsinity il in the same fix. Mine
wood be, but fortunately haven't any.
PETROLEUM v NAsBY,
(Which wuz Postmaster.)