davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
4 JURY OF PEERS.

There dwelt some years ago in
Bourbon County, Kentucky, a drum
ken worthless, one-eyed fellow named
C whose chief occupations were
getting tight and fighting. There
had just been elected new prosecu-
ting attorney, who was entitled TO a
part of the fines which might be i'm
posed upon the malefactors of Bour-
bon. and he determined to quelch
old C. He did not wait long for
an opportunity to have him arrested.
B, the constable, said. Us it va
an important case. he wanted about
three days to get an appropriate jury
to try it. On the third day the new
attorney was informed that things
were ready at the court house. =
There was the Judge, aud behind
him the constable. On one side SAT
old one-eyed c.; on the other,
the twelve juryman, LESS like him, u
on benches forming triangle, each
With n plug of tobacco and jacknife
the gift of constable, whiting away,
and according to order, splitting to
the center The astonished prosecu-
ter looked at the jury and exclaimed
where did the constable get this
jury?"
The constable quietly replies: 81
thought the prisoners was entitled to
be tried by jury of his peers, and
I've been out three days hunting 'em
up. I've got twelve more out side
waiting"
The prosecutor looked out side and
saw, seated on the fence, twelve more
dittos. similarly equipped and employ.
ed. He turned to the court in undis
guised wrath, and said:
"I'll dismiss the case."
The constable wrote his return or
the warrant thus: Dismissed by
the County attorney on sight of the
jury" and SO it stands recorded te
this day. The prisoner was discharg
ed, and left the courthouse rejoicing
at having been deprived of his con
stitutional right of being tried BY
the previously mentioned citizens.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
LEAP YEAR.
The Secrets Of q Closet.

Every leap year has its trials, as
the following will testify: One OF
the richest events it has been our lot
to hear Of for some time occurred not
many evenings since, within q few
blocks Of the Court House. 1t seems
that four young men from the coun-
try have been attending school in the
city during the winter. and for econ
omy's sake had furnished q room and
we're excepting batch" The night Of
the last sociable of the Fifth Street
Church, three Of the young gentle
men concluded to attend, and ac-
cordingly disrobed themselves pre-
paratory TO donning their "store
clothes" for the occasion. just rs
this was accomplished, and while
they were still IN puris naturalibus,
there came dainty, feminine knock
at the door. Now, adjoining the
room in which they were Vas clothes
press, and into it they tutnbled when
the knock was heard. The remain
ing student opened the door, when
behold. he found four young ladies,
acquaintances of the occupants Of the
room, who had come to make Leap
Year call. They entered promptly,
were courteously invited to take seats,
and in reply to the inquiry where the
other gentlemen were, received the
information that they had "iu st step
ped out. brt would probably son
return" The night was intensely
cold and it was not long before the
half naked youths in the closet were
nearly frozen. The Surviving mem
ber' of the student quartette kicked
the cast.of garments of the closeted
trio under the lounge. wash stand !,
or some other place of concealment,
remarking that "the boys were going
to sociable that night, and had
been more than usual careless with
their apparel" Meantime the cold
in the closet approximated toward
an Icelandic temperature. The teeth
of the occupants began to chatter.
and a general feeling OF becoming
animated icebergs was manifested
Noses became of the hue of boiled
Holsters, aud toes were as purple as
huckleberries. At length human na-
ture could endure in silence no more,
and loud wall conveyed the intelli-
gencc of the whereabouts of their
hosts. Supposing that they had con-
cealed themselves there for n joke,
the ladies made raid on the door to
open it. The gentleman made an
earnest and successful effort TO pre-
vent this. and finally. finding that
between the frozen men on one side,
and the waiting maidens on the 9TH
er. he was getting into hot water.
the student who was doing the hon
ors was compelled to confess the true
condition of affairs. Thereupon the
ladies deca,nped and the closeted
youths made rapid journey to the
stove and passed the rest of the
evening in burning soft coal. Here
after the ladies' intend to make an
arrangement beforehand when they
desire to make cap Year calls. s.-Des
Moinos Iotca) Register.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

GEN. GRANTS son Freddy, we see
by the dispatches, is still travelling
over Europe at the Governments
expense, having nice time, as Gen
eral Shermans staff. A dispatch a
few days ago, said that Lieutenant
Grant will stay in Rome until the
2Oth.n He and the General. it is said
in the dispatch, had an interview with
Prince Humbert. The dispatch didn't
say so; but we think Freddy might
appropriately have been introduced to
Prince Humbert as the young Ameri-
can Prince, Humbug, son of the cele-
brated American Presidential Hum
bug.-Herdld.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
GETTING RID OF A BORE.

A fancy, highly-perfumed yonng
gentleman, dressing in the latest style,
and having nothing to do has been
boreing the proprietor of one of our
prominent ',atent medicine establish
ments by lounging iu his private of
fee. smoking his fine cigars. and max
ing himself generally at home. The
patience of the man of business was
at last exhausted. and he resolved up
on ridding himself of the annoyance
A friend had sent him two very fine
apples. and he had placed them in the
pigeon holes Of his desk, intending to
take them to his family at night; but
he had reckoned without his host, for
upon returning to his office after q
short absence he found the fancy
young gentleman tilted back in q
chair, with his feet upon the desk,
taking his finishing bite OF one of
the fine apples.
"Ha, hal p laughed the young man,
1--we stolen march on you. tlook-
ed so tempting couldn't resist"
90, great heaven what have you
done! You are poisonedt" exolaim-
the proprietor That apple con-
ta.ned arsenic for RATS"
20 Lordyl Y Lordy! save me-
what shall l do =" exclaimed the
young man in the most pitiful tones,
as he sprang to his feet aud hoped
around the room like chicken with
its head off.
The scene was most exciting. as tho
clerks gathered round in wonder aud
alarm and the young man. perfectly
regardless of h.s fine clothes, was
rolling on the floor in horrible fright,
exclaiming:
"Run for the doctor. run. run. runl
save me! o, save me! A hundred
dollars to the man tha: brings the
doctor"
run to the grocery for . dozen
eggs" cried the pi oprietor; bring .
box of mustard, too"
The young man again broke forth
most dolefully:
"Oh, I'm dying! I'm going I know
it; these horrible pains. Can no one
$. ", met" and then he poked his tin-
ger away down his throat, in hopes of
bringing up the deadly mass.
The eggs soon came and the dosing
began. They poured the dozen raw
eggs down his throat, they then gave
hum patent medicines. pills, salts, cas-
tor oil, and put mustard plaster on
his stomach. until it grew red as a
lobster; and the doctor came and
pumped him dry as sand bank,
after which they wrapped him up in
blankets, put warm b,lck to his feet,
and sent him home to his mother.
The joke got ont, and though he
has recovered, and the air is again
redolent with the perfume he sprlnk-
les upon himself, he gives our patent
medicine proprietor wide berth.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

The King of Sweden is said to be
an excellent locksmith, and to devo 9
much time to the improvement of
that branch of mechanics. The King
of Portugal excels as turner OF wood
and ivory. The members of the roy
al house of Hohenzollern possibly
with a view to some future continSen-
cy-have all been trained in some use.
full art. The present Grown Prince is
said to be an expert book binder, and
his wife an AGO 'm plished miniature
paintec. The Queen of Holland is a
poetess, bat poetry is an inspiration
and not an art. Louis Napoleon and
Queen Victoria have both essaved to
write books. The wife of the Prince of
Wales is suberb lnusi :ian, and has
but few equals among amateurs as q
pianist. The zarina of Russia
paints miniatures we'll. The Queen
Of Belgium is a horse Trainer as.d
fearless rider, while the Qleen of
Denmark is a great housekeeper and
one OF the best cooks in her domin-
ion. It is also said that some OF the
junior male members of the royal
family of England are proficient as
practical composers. walls the
Prince Imperial of France is first
class typographer.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
----------->o--------- -
AN AWFUL MYSTERY.
A Father and Daughter Burned
Alive.

One cold night about New Years,
cry of fire was raised in Mount
Bethel, little town about .seven
miles from Plainfeld over the
Springfield Mountains, in Somerset,
county, n. j. A building over q
hundred years old was in flames. 1t
was occupied by German farmer
named Beust. He rushed. from the
burning building, snpposing that his
family were safe. He missed one of
his daughters and ran back into the
house to save her. He had caught
her in his arms and was making his
way to the door when the floor gave
way and both were burned to death.
Since then the ruins of the house
have been removed. The mansion
was built in the old-fashioned style,
with huge fire-places in two of the
rooms, the chimneys sloping towards
each other, and joining before reach
ing the roof.
Walled In the cavity between the
two fre-places human skeleton in
perfect preservation was discovered.
An old fintlock musket stood at its
side, and two rusty knives lay at its
feet. The musket is of the old Brit
ish pattern. It is supposed that the
remains are those of a Tory soldier
who met his dea.h at the hands o1
the Colonists during the revolution,
The oldest inhabitants are unable tc
explain this horrible mystery,
The remains of the father and
daughter were also found in the ruins,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
Miss Kate STANTON is giving

MISS KATE STANTON is giving a
lecture on "Whom to Marry" and
these are her conclusions: Marry a
large woman, one who wears a No. 5
shoe; marry a healthy widow, with
healthy children, rather than young
girl, for she has had the advantages OF
experience; but best of all, marry an
old maid. To women: Marry a
healthy man, especially a fat man,
round like pumpkin; do not marry a
gossipy man (unles he is a reporter or
an editor, who is forced professionally
to be gosslper(. Above all, don't
marry drunkard, a gambler, quaok
doctor or defamer of women.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

An editor in Illinois having engag-
ed new reporter, received the follow
ing as his first effort: 1--WE are in
formed that the gentleman hoo stood
on his head under pile-driver for the
purpose of having tight pair OF butes
druv on, shortly afterward found him
selfin Chiny, pretectly naked and
without cent in bis pocket
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
HOW WE ARE TAXED.
Extract from % speech of Ex.
Senator DOOlittle.

read from list which have had
no time to verify by actual computa-
ton, but which believe to be cor.
rect. A gentleman previously. en-
gagged in commerce, who understands
his subject. has taken the trouble to
see what the duties are upon Il few
leading articles. Look at the list
The poor man is taxed:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

Per Cent.
On his salt, 10S
On his pepper, 140
On his rice, S5
On his soap, 10
On his starch, 81
| On his candles, 40
On the sheets Of his bed, 55
On the blankets that cover him, 24J
On the carpet he buys, 30
| On his window curtains, so
Gu his knives and forks, 35
On his window glass, 55
On his water pitcher, 40
On the hat he wears, 40
On his stockings, Is
On dress of silk for his wife, 60
On dress OF WOODEN, 100
On a shawl, 300
On handkerchief 35
The farmer is taxed:
Per Cent.
On his hoe and spade, each II
On his horse.shoes 81
On his plow 10
On his chairs l0J
On his harness 3j
On a hand-saw IS
On pcnknifc so
On dinner can 35
On an iron'hoop pail Gu
For the present I will conclude
what have to say in answer TO
Speaker Blaine OH this subject by
reading to you the most eloquent
and truthful account Of our present
condition, in the language of Sidney
Smith, written more than forty years
ago. l once read this on the floor of
the Senate. IL describes our condi.
ton now SO perfectly, il seemed so
like prophecy, that Senators sprang TO
their feet To inquire the name OF the
author. | commend il for its truth,
and, Is a specimen OF writing of un-
equaled simplicity and force. com.
mend it TO every young man Let
him read it again. Let him learn il
by heart, and when Gen. Washburn
or Speaker Blaine shall tel! you how
rich you are and how light all your
burdens are, repeat i; to them:
Taxes upon every article which
enters into the mouth, or covers the
back or is placed under foot; taxes
upon everything which is pleasant TO
see, hear, feel, smell, or taste: taxes
upon warmth, light and locomotion; !;
taxes on everything on earth and the
waters under the earth; on every
thing that comes from abroad or is
grown at home; taxes on every fresh
value that is added TO it by the in
dnstry OF man; taxes on the sauce
whicn pampers mans appetite, and
the drug that restores him 10 health !;
on the ertninc which decorates the
Judge, and the rope which hangs the
criminal; on the poor mans spice, OH
the brass nails of the coffin, aud the
ribbons of the bride; ut bed or board,
couchan. or levant, we must pay.
The schoolboy whips his taxed top;
the beardless youth manages his tax
ed horse with n taxed bride on n tax
ed road; and the dying EngIishman,
pouring his medicine which has paid
per cent. into spoon that has paid
ID per cent, filings himself back upon
his chin,z bed which has paid % per
cent, makes his will on an fS stamp,
and expires in the arms of an apothe-
cary who has paid license of hun
dred pounds for the privilege of put
ting him to death. His whole prop
erty is then Immediately taxed from
to 10 per cent. Besides the pro-
bate, large fees are demanded for
burying him in the chancel; his vir-
tues are handed down to posterity on
taxed marble, and he is then gathered
TO his fathers, to be taxed no more.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

A young lady in suburban town
who has received the attentions of a
young man for some time, on being
asked what his business was, replied
naively. "Oh, he is a hummer for
dry goods firm in Boston," She
meant drummer.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

UvHE UNDERSIGNED DWoULDREsPECT-
Il fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cjnity that be has taken charge of this Establish
Enent, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects to suit all
chose who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects to give entire satisfaction to ell.
-Childien and Ladies' Hair neatly cut
and shampooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
y3n33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
SUE SANDERS.

9ue Sanders was a country lass,
With eyes ~ own as buns,
A ID checks that hold the peachy bloom
VI eighteen summer suns.
s5e never owned n silken dress,
Nor dreamed Of Mechlin lace,
Yet wore b y tidy tonesrun gown
With ouch bewit,hipg grace,
That scarce the merchants gayest goods
Had male her seem mprc fair
No prinoess with n sweetsr grace
A r.yAi robe could wear.
One day there cams a city NAN,
With wealth and houors rife.
And asked sweet Sus Sanders soon
If she would be- bis vile.
Wow Soc a country laddie bred,
With scarce dime to show.
But susy loved him none the loss,
And 50 the answered No"
The rich man bit his bearded lip
AID bent lis naughty head;
But, hoping by bis wealth u win,
He waited stsi and said:
"YOur country lad is rude and rough,
WIN bra~Uy. suu-0FDWnsd haDds.
And of,rs vi hts ciownlsh name
Nor god nor good!y Lands;
"WhiIe wealth an gems, a stately ,uso.
Add NAM 0f apcieBt pride,
Ar; inips 10 fer /, the one
/ ask 70 be NY bride"
Then redIy flushed her rounded cheek,
And like queer she said:
"To p.ow and SOW and fsip tho field,
And eara oDe's daily brta..
81 think is nab,er than to 1T.
Cpntspt life's cares to sairk.
And ne'.r q jes.lied finger lift
To any worthy work.
''To me ny Wi;lie's 'oil-vorn hands.
BTpnzcl by the Summer sun,
Are dearer far than IL trey bad
No fssh Of labor son.
"And pray. good sic, hare you not learned
Lave IL not bought or spid?
Whene'rr wed. I'll wed a MAX,
Aud not hi, lands or gold"
With suilen brow the suitor grand
Rode Asrcely rack 10 town:
And enc u " in srn Sue wrdsIed VIII,
Clad IN her b"mespun gown.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

Prof. Morton, of Yale College,
thinks the stream of November mete-
ors has got out of the way of the
earth g orbit, and will not return un-
til about the year 1909,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22
A man broke chair over his wife IS

A man broke chair over his wife s
head a week or two ago. When he
got to Jail and the clergyman under
took to talk with him, he displayed
q good deal of penitence. He said
that he was very sorry that he had
permitted his anger to gain the mas
terry of him and to suffer him to do
such an act, because it was q good
chair, one of those good, old-fashion-
ed Windsor chairs. which was an
heirloom in his family. and he knew
he never could replace it,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

There are six persons in New
Hampshire who are one hundred
years old,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

Waterbury, Connecticut. grii.ds
out barrel of oxeide fnger-rings
per dium.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

Business notice, in the Local Columns, rs
cents per liDe, each insertion.
For legal and transient advcrtiscmerts 81 50
per square Of IL lines, for the FIRST insertion.
and 81 90 per square for each subsequent in
sertop.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

nRUGs AND MEDICINES, PAINTS
~ and Oils, Glass and Putty sold by
WHEELER at sHEDD.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

The latest about the lost d. Liv.
ingstone is that be has got married,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

A grazier In Summer county, Kan.
sas, has 81 900 head of cattle,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-03-22

nAsH PAID FOR WHEAT. OATS, PORK
u Butter and Eggs by WHEELER
AT SHERD.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-06-28

Truth AND PoETRY.-Milton puts
into the mouth Of Lucifer, in Paradise
Lost" these memorable words
s.TO BE WEAK Is MISERABLE"
Never was truer sentence written
than this-supposed to be wrung from
the Arch-fend in his impotence and
agony. Every victim of nervous de-
bility, or Of that depressing languor
which is one of the accomplishments Of
dyspepsia and biGousness, can testify
to the misery of mind and body which
they involve. The motive power Of
the system is partially paralyzed; the
mind is haunted by anxiety and fear ;
and the sufferer is as incapable of ap-
plying himself energetically to any kind
Of business as if he we're under the be-
numbing influence Of catalepsy. This
terrible mental and physical condition
need not. however, be endured for forty
eight hours by any human being. Plan
tation Bitters is an absolute specific
for all the torments which deranged
stomach, q disordered liver, and shat.
tered nerves, superinduoe.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-06-28

CAur1oN.-Every genuine box Of
DR.. McLane's Liver Pills bears the sig
nature of Flcmming Bros Pittsburgh,
Pa, and their private U. s. Stamp.
n"Take no other" The market
is full of limitations. 1t is the popular
verdict that people who have been ac-
customed to the use of Bitters or Cor
dials are obliged, eventually, to resort
to McLanes Liver Pills for permanent
relief. 24m6
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-06-28
To CONSERVATIVES.

The advertiser, having been permanent
y cured Of that dread disease, Consumption,
~ simple remedy, is anxious to make
known to his fellow sufferers the of
cure. To all who desire it, he will send a
copy Of the prescription used, (free of
shargs,) with the directions for preparing
AID using the same, which they will find n
sure Cure for Consumption, Asthma, Bron-
shitis, &c.
Parties wishing the prescription will please
address Rev. EDWARD A. WILSON,
1874 Penn Stree t., Williamsbnrgh,
i. Y. vl3nsl year
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-06-28
Election Notice.

Whereas, petition signel by one-third
of the resident Taxpayers Of the township
Of Alton, Howard county Iowa has been
presented to the Board of Trustees of said
township, asking the question of aiding in
the construction of the Iowa and Minnesota
Railway, running from Upton, in Cedar
| county, via Anamosa north-westerly to the
State line, by means Of FIVE per cent
tax upon the assessed value of the property
in said township, be submitted to the legal
| voters at a special election to be held in
said township, as provided for by Chapter
lO2 of the Acts of the Thirteenth General
Assembly Of Iowa.
Therefore, At a meeting Of said Board of
Trustees. held on the twenty-ninth day of
May 1872 it was ordered that said election
be held and notice is hereby given,
LIST, That special election will be held
at the Sutton school house, usual place of
holding the general election in said town
ship on Saturday the Goth Of June A. D..
1872.
I'd, The question of Taxation" or mo
TaxatiOH' to the amount of ''FlEE' per
cent upon the assessed value of the proper
ty in said township shall be submitted to
the electors of said township at said cleo.
ton.
Sd. The line Of Road proposed to be aid
ed is the one contemplated by the Iowa and
Minnesota Railway company.
4th, The ballot for such election shall be
written or printed Taxation or "No Tax
ation," and those voting Taxation" vote
in favor of the levy of said tax, and those
voting "No Taxation vote against the levy
of such tax.
9Th, The proceeds from such tax shall be
expended in the township of Alton in said
county of Howard.
9th. Said tax is to become due and pay
able as soon as said railway track is laid to
the depot in said township of Alton and the
company agree to establish and maintain Il
respectable Depot with side tracks in said
township and it shall not be within two miles
of west line of said township and not with
in one mile Of the east line and within one
and one-half miles of the centre Of said
township North and South
It'll, The polls at said election shall be
opened at 8 o'clock A. NJ. and remain open
until O'Clock p. NJ of said day.
JOHN CoNNoR, Trustees Of
THOMAS KELLY, Alton
Patrick Riley, Township.
Attest WIN. BURKE,
Clerk of Alton Township.
Dated May goth 1872.