davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02

THE New Orleans Picdy,u,e says:
An amusing incident is related to have
occurred on the steamer Dexter on her
last trip down the river. Just below
Vicksburg family got on board, en-
route for Texas. During the afternoon
enjoy the luxury Of a good shave,
shampooing, etc, and for this purpose
applied to the tonsorial artist of the
steamer. The luxury was speedily
supplied him, and, at his request, hair
eyebrows and whiskers were converted
from fiery red to raven blackness by
the use of the artists dye. The traveller
was hugely pleased at the idea of sur
prising his wife at the transformation,
and hurried to demand the price. I'm.
agine his Indignation when he was call
ed upon to forfeit SO. He swore he
would never pay it, and hurried to his
state.room to buckle on his defensive
armor. But he was met at the door by
his spouse, outraged by the intrusion OF
a stranger, as she supposed, and admit
| ance refused. He called himself hel
husband-she said he was an imposter
He attempted to explain. 1t was use
less. A crowd gathered around, and
the laugh became general. AT last, in
his perpleXity, the Hoosier exclaimed,
"Sall, look at my feet!" One glance
at the pedal appendages assured her
"Yes, john" she said, 81 know then
feet. They can come in but keep tina
head out of my sight"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
The New Jersey Musquito.

The Newark advertiser says:
The tuneful musquito has had his from
bone reconstructed and begins the new
season in animated style. A Newark
man received acall the other day from his
long lost brother who lives in California.
He assigned thespa room to him, ,and
bidding him an affectionate good night
retired to rest, only to have his slum-
bers disturbed soon after by an incipient
earthquake up stairs. Hastily donning
his trousers he proceeded to the long
lost brothers. room from whence the
uprOar came. When that unbridled
brother went to bed he had thrown
open his window to draw untrammeled
breath and preserve the idea of his ma
tive freedom. The musquito, scenting
foreign produce from afar, whetted his
knife and fork upon the stone window
sill, and humming short grace before
meat, took chair upon the Californian's
nose, and tucking his napkin under chin,
set to work. The sensitive foreigner said
an ungentlc thing about the musica
bird Of the night, and springing from
his couch struck light to meet his un-
seen adversary face to face. No sooner
had he deserted him than with uplifted
pillow he smote upon the wall where
sat the patient insect, who skinned
swiftly away and left the spot bare.
| Two more unsuccessful attempts upon
the poor musquito's life eXasperated the
long lost brother and the scene became
exciting. Blow followed blow in quick
succession as theirate Californian danced
in fantastic pursuit about the room
Just as he had taken careful aim a
the artful dodger who sat upon a pane
of the door enjoying the sport, the pro
prietor of the mansion popped his head
| In and received the whack intended fol
the musquito full in the face. He lait
down unpremeditatedly and called fol
the neighbors. When outside reinforce
ments appeared, an entrance was effect
ed into the room and fearful scene o
ruin met the gaze of the intruders. Tit
only whole remaining article of furni
ture was the bedstead upon which sa
the disconsolate Californian picking tn
fragments of the looking glass out ofhi
bare feet, and saying terrible things
He was inconsolable, and next day h
left for California without offering t
pay for the broken furniture.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
In the List.

Could choose the age and the fortunate season
When to be born,
l would fly from tho censure of your barren rea.
son,
And the scourges of your scorn
Could l take the tongue, and the land and the
station,
That tome were fit,
would make my lie force and an exaltation
And you could not stine 1t!
But the thing most near to the freedom l covet
Is the freedom wrest
From time that would bar me from climbing
aboveit,
To seek the East in the West.
have dreamed of the forms of nobler exist
Than you give me here,
And the beauty that lies afar in the dateless
distance
would conquer, and bring more near.
1t Is good, uncovered with the bounty of For.
tune,
In the sun to stand;
Let Others excuse, and cringe and importune,
Twill try the strength of my hand!
II fall, shall fall not among the mistaken,
Whom you dare TO deridc;
If win, you shall hear, and see, and at last
awaken
To thank me because defed!
BAYARD TAYLOR, IN AuJl% Gaid1y.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
POetical.
A New Poem by Mr.. Bryant.


The following poem, by Mr. Bryant, appear
| in the last issue of the Ledger:
THE NAKED TRUTH.
A little volume of fables, in verse, and in The
Spanish Language, by Jose Rosas, has met witt
such favor in Mexico that the city authorities
have adopted IL as q reading-book for schools
The following is n translation of one of the fa
bles.l
Beautiful Truth once in the days OF yore,
Put on the brave array,
Which then the goddesses of Hellas wore
and issued to the day
ROBBED IN such sort, with graces so divine,
That men, adorlng, built to her a shrine.
The gods. indignant at the sight,
Rose in the defence of their invaded right.
Horror and infamy," they cried;
"And profanatlonl" |" and they came and went
Pacing the ambroslal courts from side TO side
Till a wild tumult filled the armament
Jovc to appease their fury, left the skies,
And quickly stood before
The shrine of Truth, determined TO chastise
The sacrllege: he tore
From her the regal mantle which she worc
And stripped the robe away
And flung to Falsehood's hand
Mantle and robe, to serve for her array,
And gave to truth the terrible command:
'Be thou forever naked from this day."
And therefore, reader, let not Truth be blamed
If, evermore since then,
She hides in corners, humbled and ashamed,
And rarely seen of men.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
COL. DEM. -.- VOL. XXXVI.. NO. "a.
The Origin of MnsaniiOs.

Tho Red River Indians have a curl
Gus legend respecting the origin of mus
quitoes. They say that once upon a
time there was famine, and the Indi-
ans could get no game. Hundreds had
died from hunger and desolation filed
their country. All kinds of offerings
were made to the Great Spirit without
avail, till one day two hunters came
upon white wolverine, an old woman
sprang out of the skin, and saying that
she was "Manito," promised to go
and live with the Indians, promised
them plenty of game as long as they
treated her well and gave her the first
choice of all the game that should be
brought in.
The two Indians assented to this, and
took the old woman home with them
which eventwas Immediately succeeded
by an abundance of game. When the
sharpness of the famine had passed, the
Indians became dainty in their appe-
tites, and complained of the manner in
which the old woman took to herself
all the choice bits; and this feeling
became so intense that, notwithstand.
ing her warning that if they violated
their promises terrible calamity would
come upon the Indians, they one day
killed her as she was seizing her share
of fat reindeer which the hunters had
brought in.
Great CONSERVATION Immediately
struck the witnesses of the deed, and
the Indians to escape the predicted
calamity, boldly struck their tents and
moved away to great distance. Time
passed on without any catastrophe oc.
curing, and game becoming even more
plentiful, the Indians again began to
laugh at their being deceived by the
old woman. Finally, hunting party
on long chase of a reindeer, which had
led them back to the spot where the
old woman was killed, came upon her
skeleton, and one Of them in derision
kicked the skull with his foot.
In an instant a small, spiral, vapor-
like body arose from the eyes and ears
of the skull, which proved to be insects,
which attacked the hunters with great
fury, and drove them to the river for
protection. The skull continued to
pour out its little stream and the air
become full of avengers of the old wo.
mans death. The hunters upon re.
turning to camp, found ell the Indians
suffering terribly from the plague and
ever since that time the Indians have
been punished by the mosquitoes, for
their wickedness to their preserver, the
Manito.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
Miscellaneous.
n L N Il 1 s T II Y.

II. @. HOVER, DENTIST,
Respectfully offers his professional services to
the ladies and gentlemen of bloomsbury and vi,
cinity. He is prepared to attend to all the vari.
GUS operations in the line of his profession, and
is provided with the latest improved PORCELAIN
TEETH which will be inserted on gold plating
silver and rubber base to look as we'll asthe nat
ural teeth. Teeth extracted by all the new and
most approved methods, and all operations on
the teeth carefully and properly attended to.
Residence and Office q few doors above the
Court House, same side.
bloomsbury, Jan lilly
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
Epcnntricify.


The following singular instance of
eccentricity, illustrating the close con-
nection of this condition of the mind
with insanity, is related by Professor
Hammond in his work on diseases oi
the nervous system:
A ladyhad since her childhood shown
singularity of conduct as regarded her
table furniture, which she would have
of no other material than copper. She
carried this fancy to such an extent that
even the knives were made of copper.
People laughed at her, and tried to
reason her out of her whim, but in vain.
In no other respect was there any evil
dence of mental alteration. She was
intelligent, by no means excitable, and
in the enjoyment of excellent health.
An uncle had, however, died insane,
A trifiing circumstance started in her a
new train of thought, and excited emo
tions which she could not control. She
read in a morning paper that Mr..
Kopperman had arrived at one of the
hotels, and she announced her deter
mination to call on him. Her friends
endeavored to dissuade her, but with
out avail. She went to the hotel and
was told he had just left for Chicago.
Without returning to her home, she
bought ticket for Chicago, and actual
ly started on the next train for that
city. The telegraph, however, over
took her, and she was brought back from
Rochester raving of her love for man
whom she had never seen, and whose
name alone had been associated in her
mind with her fancy for copper table.
furniture. She died of acute mania
within a month.-Scri6ner's for Au
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02

THE NEW HOG CAR.-The Cleveland
Leader thus describes the Bergh palace
hog car When the swine wish to slum-
ber, they blow q whistle made from the
tail of brother who has gone before /;
the conductors enter and conduct them
to hot Russian bath in the rear end Of
the car, after which they are rubbed
down with rough towels, and lunch of
old boots md ice cream furnished. Not a
squeal is ever heard in these cars, moth
ing but grunts Dissatisfaction and skilled
musician puts in from eight to twenty
ty-four hours day playing on a cottage
organ, such ballads as the "Ham-
Fat Man." "The Watch on the Rhine"
"When the Pigs Come Home," etc. In
fact life is perpetual holiday on the
hog trains until they arrive within a
few miles of Jersey City, when the train
is stopped, steam fire engine throws a
stream of chloroform into each car, and
the inmates sink into a slumber from
which they never awaken in this world
of trichinae, butcher-knives, smoked
ham, headcheese, and death.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02

AN exchange says an alligator very
gracefully masticated very valuable
stag hound belonging to gentleman
in Eutaw the other day. AS the owner
had already lost one dog in the same
funny way, he determined to bring to
punishment the fell destroyer, and bait.
ed six large hooks with hog liver. But
the amusing creature gulped down the
hog liver, hooks and all, broke the line,
and lesiurely swan away as happy as a
clam. The desperate dog owners is now
lying in wait on the river side, armed
with harpoon big enough to catch n
whale, and proposing to go for that
alligator as Bill Nye went for the hea'
then Chinee- in away he'll despise,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
Humorous.

An Ohio hen defles the provisions of
the Ku.Klux act by destroying all her
black chickens as soon as they are
hatched.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
Buck Horn.
Orangeville Directory.

M &G.w. II. SHOEMAKER, dealers in dry
nI. goods. grOceierles and general merchandst
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02

AN Irishman went to Bangor and
bought horse for two dollars and a
half. When he had dragged him home,
q neighbor said; "Arrah now, Pat !!
why didn't you give another half dol
lar and get a good one"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
THE GREAT MAGICAL

THE GREAT MAGICAL
III A IL f o II g Il IL
VIII force beautiful set of Whiskers or Mus
tache, IN from two to three months, on any per-
son over twelve years old. 1t is one of the best
preparations to make the whiskers grow that
ever was known. One bottle of IL is sufficient 10
produce n very strong beard. 1t does not in any
way stain or inJure the skin. Try It'll II is no
humbug. Price 80 cents per bottle. Sent by
mail post paid, to any address, on receipt OF
price. Address WILLIAM c. WAGNER,
Arendtsville,
augl lilly. Adams County, Penna
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-08-02
TINS RANCE AGENC
HINKLEY KNITTING MACHINE

THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
UsEl HAS RUT ONE NEEDLE! A
CHILD CAN RUN IT!
Designed especially for the use of families, and
aides who desire to knit for the market. VIII
do every stitch of the knitting in stocking
widening and narrowing as readily as by hand.
Are splendid for worsteds and fancy work.
TAKING FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF
STITCH Are very easy to manage, and not
have one.
We want an Agent in every town to introduce
and sell them, to whom we ofler the most liberal
Inducements. Send for our Circular and Sample
Stocking. Address.
nov. lO,l-ly. Bath, Me.
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

The SUCCESSFUL PHYSICIAN. DR.. !.
Walker is achieving an eminent distinc-
ton as beneiactor of his species. Some
stigmatize all patent medicines with the
odlous epithet quackery. But Dr.. WALK
EE's CALIFORNIA NINEGAR BITrEEs have
the endorsement of the medical profession.
The editor can c-nscientiously and cor
daily recommend the med cine. because
he knows he has found great benefit from
its use. For nearly twenty years he has
suffered from arrangement of the ston-
ach. And although the disease has become
chronic, he has already obtained great re-
liettrom this remedy. A physician left at
death a large volume, carefully sealed. and
supposed to contain = fund of medical
knowledge. On being opened it was found
TO contain only this simple advice: keep
your head cool, your feet warm and your
bowels open But there is a whole vol
ume in this maxim. VINEGAR BlrrERs act
as mild cathartic, leaving the system in
a healthy. condition. Il. II. Mcdonald,
an experienced druggist, associated with
DR.. Walker is a man of thorough integrity
and practical knowledge Of the art of com
pounding medicine. They have valuable
medicine, and they know how to bring it
to the knowledge OF the public by judicious
advertising. We are happy to give them
our hearty endorsement, and bid them
.fod-speed in relieving the ills to which
iesh is heir.-Lockro0d yaiogiete.
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

BRAIN STIMULATES. Human beings
are the only ones that crave and contract
love for stimulants. 1t is hardly posi-
bic to make any animal take spirit slof any
kind. If compelled to do so, morbid
appetite for it is not developed as in man.
However thirsty, they will resist the finest
artificial drinks. Wateris the only fluid
which they demand, and fond as some of
them may be of milk, water is with them
apositive necessity. Brain excitement
something that quickens the nervous
system-has always been found with eve
ry race of people. If they have no inge-
nuity IN any way that betters their con-
dition physically, they have a way of ex,
hilirating themselves. They ferment
the juice of fruits, the sap of plants.
make teas of an intoxicating quality, or
lastly, ike the Tartars on the borders of
the Caspian Sea, who have no vegetables
that meet that morbid demand, make
mere savages by acidified
mares milk 1t is marvel in the cen
of humanity that this propensity
for excitement by artificial means should
be so general all over the world. Civil
cation does not overcome it laws only
hold it slightly in check moral suasion
is feeble instrumentality and the ques-
lion mooted is-what is the next move to
be
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

WATER DD IT. Tho Chicago ydrTnA
gives the following rs q fact 1.-THE day
after tho storm, Mr.. Martin of Lyons
county found n man by tho name of Alb
bott nearly frozen TO death. lie took
Abbott TO his house, and saved ms lilo 10y
placing him in barrel Of water, whore
no remained twonty-four hours, until
every particle Of frost was cxtricated
from his body. Abbott's legs, from bis
hips to his toes. were frozen hard. His
hands, faca, ears, and other portions Of
his body were badly frosted also, but it
il expected he will recover without losing
his limbs.
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

Keep the Hair Unblemished Il am like an
qld htmlock-Nithered at the top said venerable
moan Shiei' pointing to his thin ana bl5a, hing
locks. Thousands OF men and women in CIVILIZED
society mach younger than the old Sycamore. are
IKE him. 'wthered at the top" simply because they
h''e htlecttu TO use the means of preserving and
beautihing the hair which science had placcd AZ
their disposal II Lyons KATHAIRoy he faithfully
epphed once or twice day to the fihers and the
scap II Is Just as impossible that the hair should
decay, wither. fall out become harsh and fuzzy as
that meadow, duly refreshed with nightly deys and
sunit rains should become arid and barren of green
nLane'. ms na'chloss preparation not only keeps
the hair alive and the skin Of the head in healthy
aud clean condition, but actually multiples the fla
ments and imparts to them lustre. hexibility and
wavy beauty unattainable by any other mode of
treatment II does not like the metallic and sun,,
rous hair dyes. dry up the natural moisture of the
scalp but supplies nutriment to the roots Of the hair
and vigur to the fibers.
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

At o'clock we mounted onr horses ant
slowly and carefully made our way dowr
the mountain TO the railroad depot, which
is situated nearly mile below the hotel
We purchased tickets to Vitznau, which Is
the terminus of the road, and after waiting
until time was mp, commenced the descent
oi the mountain. The engine which drew
| the car in which we were seated looked
like huge iron bottle, standing on low
platform, which carries cylinders, cranks
aud other locomotive gear, and Is much
lower at one end than at the other. This
q .ercnce of height imparts an awkward
ness OF appearance, and the immense bottle,
which is, in fact, the boiler and chimney,
leans TO one side, a. If about TO fall When
the engine asccnds the mountain, the floor
becomes level and the boiler is on the per
1endcular. In front Of the boiler Is n
lailcdgplacc, III which baggage is carried
The engineer and fireman stand, rs usual,
in the rear, I'd the fuel is coal. The car
we were in was about ten feet wide, with
nine seats placed trsnsycrsely, and when
filled would hold about sixty passengers,
who find their comfort cared for in the
shape q the seats. The ear is open on all
sides, something hike the Third avenue ex-
cursion cars in New York, which enabled
us TO have an excellent view Of the scene
~. Tie car. and locomotives are built at
Often, busy centre of Swiss industry.
The railway guagc Is five feet the sleepcrs
are longitudinal and continuous, MS on our
city railway tracks Between the two rails
is what may be termed a heavy iron ladder,
81. .. Il Ia, l,.I. . H.. l.,
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17
Special Notices.
TO CONsUMPTIVEs,
TO CONSU r'fIvrS

The advertiser. having been permanently cured Of
dread disease Consumption. by simple remedy is sn.
ous 70 MAKE Nnown to his fellow sufferers the means Of
cure To all who desire it. be will sens go 80 =.
prescription used. free Of charge. with the di,s.,-.
or preparing ard using the same which thev will 5Do
SURE CURE for CONSUMPTION As1HDfl Bsc,SrtIITIs
md all throat o. lung difficulties II
Parties wishng the prescription will please addres.
Rev. EDWARD A. WILSON
264 South Third street " illis-nsb,r,b n "
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

Said Detroit lady to gentleman Of
that city "You are musician, ! be-
lieve." "No," said he; off ! were
the proprietor of hand.organ, set OK.
pressly to play cold Hundred, ] could
not get seyenty-Gye out Of ii"
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17
Intelligence of Cows,

| IN agricultural writer remarks that
while travelling in Italy, several year.
ago, he happened to stop at farm
house one afternoon, when the cows
were about to be MIXED. He speaks as
follows of the intelligence of cows
"A herd of over one hundred were
grazing homeward. The women took
their position with stools and pals close
TO the house, and as tue cows approached
names were called out, which at first we
thought addressed to the miklnaids
Rosa, Florenza, Giulia, Sposa, and many
names which We're not noted by Us at the
time, were called ont by the ovarsccr or
one Of the women, and the writer was
astonished TO see COW after COW cease
feeding or chewing the cud, and make
direct, sometimes at trot. for the woman
that usually MIXED The practice, we
found, was not confined to one farm all
the cows on each farm knew their re-
spectiye names, and took up their posi-
tions in the open fields Just as readily
rs the individual members of some large
herds in this country, turning from the
fields, take NJ their places in the sheds"
The Poughkcepsic Press. speaking of
this same subiect-thc intelligence of
Zone Of our farmer sub
scribers recently purchased an excellent
COW and put her in the yard with others.
his help went ont at night to milk, as
usual, and set down before one of the
other COWS. No sooner, however, had
he done SO tn N thcncw. conner made for
him and drove him from his seat. nor
would she let him proceed with the
The proprietor's attention was
called to the strange conduct of his new
purchase, whom his man considered dan
gerous. Mr.. i. went into the yard and |
began to soothc the animal with gentle |
handling, and then set down to milk her,
when he found her q, meek rs a lamb T.
After that she was perfectly satisfied ii
she was MIXED first, but no one must /
presume to slight her in tins respect.
She holds literally in her own case. TO .
he scriptural mention, " that the last
hall be first -
National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1872-05-17

A well-to-do farmer in Peabody, Mass,
had daughter die of consumption re-
Gently, and to save expense dug the
grave himself and, after the funeral
service at the house, placed his hoe and
shovel in the hearse, and when the coffin
was deposited, took his tools and filled
the grave.