The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-08-01

resented it. To paraphrase, slightly,
the observation of that blessed martyr,
mariana in the Moated Grange"
You YOU ro ai downright M fo she Said.
L have strong conviction that, if l had
taken the trouble, 1 could have dis
proved this rather sweeping assertion
though, certainly, subsequent events
seemed to corroborate her opinion-but
l did not even attempt to contradict it,
The fact was, that l had an object in
keeping Mrs. DIS good graces. was
paying attention to Miss Jenny Bird,
and Theo. Dobb and his wife were that
young l&dy's guardians. In short, 1
had about made up my mind to request
Miss Jenny to become MIS-. Smith-Pres-
ton.
By the way, my name is Smith-Pres
ton, legally. The latter half was con-
| ferred on me by formal act of our
| highly honorable legislature, my uncle
Preston having devised me his property
on condition. that assumed his patro-
nymic. But the great majority of my
male friends though perfectly ac-
quainted with this important fact
persistently ignore it. 1t is by no means
WlISIl Oilc "lchCo w illdhC u
striking impression, and has just been
introduced to a desirable acquaintance by
the rather aristocractic title of Preston,
to have some BOBBY rush up, with as
much clatter as a runaway mule would
make, and shout out at the top of his
strident voice
"Hullo, Smith, my boy! how's old
Smith !"-the last question referring to
my paternal progenitor, who, L cannot
deny, as "old Smith" still.
And that brings me back to my origi-
nal subject. 1t was for making a per-
fectly natural observation of the same
tenor as the above, that Mrs. Theophilus
Dobb pronounced me downright fool.
AS have already stated, did not even
contradict, much less resent, her unkind
remark. 1 was paying attention to her
pretty ward, Miss Jenny Bird.
But after all, should have prospered
quite as we'll if 1 had shown q proper
spirit on, that particular occasion.
Moses was, undoubtedly, a very celebra-
ted man, and he was meek but meek
ness, as a general rule, is not becoming
to man. My meekness, in my inter
course with Mrs. D., did not procure
me any favor; far less did it aid me to
attain my hearts desire. l suppose l
may as well tell the whole story just as
it happened. After you have heard it,
l fear you will say that Mrs. Theophilus
Dobb was more than half right. Per-
haps she was-for feel gery meek on
the threshold of my confession-but still
/ contend she had no earthly right to
tell me so in the presence of Miss Jenny
Bird.
Do you know what an eRfunt terrible
is, fair reader? If not, you had better
study French and find out. l found out
without studying French. Mrs. Dobb's
youngest taught me in one lesson. Mrs.
Theo. Dobb was q matron of many
years standing, and of her children, the
name was Legion. How many she had
exactly, l never knew but do know
that, by some stupendous miracle they
were aU young, and that they pervaded
everything. Lovers would have had a
better chance for a tete-a-tete in the
midst of an excited Irish political meet
ing than in any corner of the Dobb man.
sion. 1t was, doubtless, owing to the
fact that the Legion always had its own
sweet will, and was always precisely
where it was not wanted, that, up to
L had never found an opportunity to
ask Miss Jenny Bird the direct question
whether she would allow me to trans
form her from Bird into bride. And
to the rear guard of the Legion-Mrs.
Dobb's youngest owe the bitter recol-
lection that | never dill put that impor-
tant question to that young lady,
Mrs. Dobb's youngest was what is
facetiously called a playful child. Mrs;
Dobbs friends invariably imprecated
the direst anathemas upon this interest
ing infant in the silence of their inner
hearts, and openly lauded him to the
skies as " so full of spirits" More diplo-
matte lying was done about Theophilus
Dobb. junior, than Machiavel ever
dreamed of perpetrating for, as usual
in such cases, her youngest was the
mothers favorite, and if any one desired
to retain Mrs. Dobb's good will, they
incontinently praised the child, even