New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1872-07-21
THE PEOPLES COLUMN.
[BY-ief Communications Pltblished-LOng
Ones EsrGriably Rgeeted-IRe Editor not
Responsible tor The Sentiments Expressed
the Communications

! brief Communications p9tbhShed-Long
Ones T,scGriably -Rgeetcd-IRe Editor not
Responsible tor The Sentiments Expressed
Tie Communications
A Noble Mind in Distress.
New ORLEANS, July 90, 1872.
EDITOR REPUBLICAN:
OF all the most detected, miserable and
forlorn human beings that ever was cursed
with an existence for the sole purpose Of
benefting somebody else, am decidedly
the most wretched. Since the day, when in
a moment of indescribable ecstasy, l fret
perused my ancient friend Pops remarka-
bic State paper on the solvency Of the State
of Louisiana, my mind has been almost de-
throned of its reason; and my graceful and
classical extremities OF. their natural equili-
brium at the astounding disclosures made
therein. When / think Of that horrible
monster in human form; that deep-dyed
villain, child-stealer, earthquake inventor,
lghtning-rod destroyer and blue light ex-
tinguisher - Warmoth i feel furious
enough to make an arial ascent
through the agency of a spontaneous
combustion, or an accidental explosion
But, sir, my beloved friend Pop is similarly
affected, and l could not think Of leaving
him behind me. Indeed, entire nous, be-
lieve he has got it worse than 1 have. 1t
has been confdentialIy stated to me that
for months he has not slept nor eaten any
thing, except occasionally a sponge cake
and glass of solvency and syrup. Also,
that he has often spent the weary watches
of the night on the roof of his palatial resi-
| dence shedding copious tears for the mis-
fortunes of an oppressed people; and on
one particular occasion, awaking from a
deep reverie, hesprang to his feet and, put
| ting his arms akimbo, shouted in clarion
tones, Hence insolvency Avaunt corrup
| ton Ten cents for cake p to the utter con-
| steInation Of feline ratification meeting,
being held on an adjoining roof, and the com
| plete discontinue OF several minions Of the
moon, who were then engaged il deep con-
| versatiOn with Morpheus around the corner
! Lastly, that a few morningasince, his trusty
valet seeking his apartments as usual to aid
| him in his daily ablutiOns, was savagely
seized by the throat by my friend Pop,
in laundering tones, Missed in his ears :
william, is the soda shop solvent Answer
me, and that instantly, or by worth Of mine
| eternal soul no more gingerbread shalt thou
masticate within my baroGial halls" which
so terrified the unhappy custodian of the
sponge and bootjack, that he hastily disap-
peared through fourth story window, and
has not been heard from since. Now /,
deeply sylnpathzing with my dear Pop,
and being Convinced that if not soon re-
ieved of his agony, it viii undoubtedly re-
suit in a case OF softening Of the brain or
fatal indigestion, propose to rid him Of
his anguish, and make everybody happy.
! propose that Pop and myself sell cut all
real estate, steamboats,, railroads, ships,
! junk shops, yeast powder factories, dredg-
ing machines, soda fountains; in fact, sell
out everything we own, including our liza
bilities, and with tie proceeds, which viii
amount to fully forty-fve millions, pay the
State debt, and make it solvent once more.
Pop and lean then de in peace. Trdstirg this
will meet with his unqualified approval, l
remain in deep anguish awaiting his reply.
MERCUTIO.