Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-11-25
THE FEATHERED ONES.
DIX

The duk is a foul. There aint no
doubt about this; naturalists say so and
kommon sense teaches it.
They are bilt something like hen,
and are an up-and-down, fiat footed job. !
They don't kackle like the hen, nor
kro like the rooster, nor holler like the
peakok, nor scream like the goose, nor
turk like the turkey, but they quack like
root dokter, and their bill resembles
vetenary surgeons.
They have woven fut, and kan float
on the water az natral az a sope bubble.
They are pretty mutch all feathers,
and when the feathers are all removed,
and their inards out, there IL just about
az mutch meat on them az there IL on
krook neck squash that has gone tew
seed.
Wild duks are very good shooting,
and are very good to miss also, unless
you understand the bizness.
You shall aim about three foot ahead
ov them, and let them fly up tew the
shot
[ have shot at them all day, and got
nothing but tail feather now and then;
but this satisfied me, for am crazy for
all kind ov sport, you know.
There are sum kind ov duks that are
very hard to kill, even if you do hit
them. | shot one whole afternoon, three
years ago, at some dekoy duks, and new
er got one ov them l hav never told
ov this before, and hope 20 one will re-
peat it-this il strikly konfdenshall.
TURKEY.
Roast turkey il good, but turkey with
kranberry sass IL better
The turkey IL a sedate person, and
seldum forgits herself by Citing onto a
frolik
They are ov various colors, and lay
from 2 to Is eggs, and they generally
lay them where nobody il looking for
them but themselfs
Turkeys travel about miles a day,
during pleasant weather. in search ov
their daily bred, and are smart on a
+, grasshopper and red-hot on kriket.
Wet weather IL bad on a turkey-a
good smart shower will drown yung
one, and make an old one look and akt
az tho they had just been pulled out ov
!. "a swill barrel with pair oY tongs.
The maskuline turkey or gobler, az
they are familiary called, hav seazons
ov strutting which are immense
hav seen them blow themselfs ur
with sentiments of pride or anger, and
travel around red flannel petticoat
hung onto a clothes line just az tho they
waz mad at the petticoat for something
it had did or sed tew them.
The hen turkey alwus haz a lonesun
look to me az tho she had been abuzeC
bi sumboddy.
!, Turkeys kan endure az mutch kolc
II weather az the vane on church steeple
hav known them tew roost all night OF
the top limb ov an oak tree, with tn,
thermometer 20 degrees below zero, anc
in the morning fly down and wad
N through the snow in barn-yard to coo
rs oph.
le ?. S.-If you kant hav kranberr,
le with roast turkey, apple sass will do.
e THE HossTRIcH.
oI The hosstrich IL citizen ov the des
sart, and lays an egg about the size ov
ID mans head the next day after he ha
a been on bumming excursion.
g They resemble in size and fgger abou
III 45 shanghi roosters at once, and ar
e. chiefly important for the feathers whicl
inhabit their tails.
+ The hosstrich are hunted on hossbac
. and kan trot mile kluss to 3 minnittS
e. They lay their eggs in the sand, and
til think the heat ov the sand matches ther
out.
They amt bilt right for hatchin ou
'A eggs emmy more than large sized fgge
u IT,
" | don't kno whether their eggs ar
good tew eat or not, but i guess not, fo
~ never hav seen ham and hosstrich egg
advertised on emmy ov our fashionabl
he bills ov fare.
ne Billed hosstrich may be nourishing an
he may not be; think this would depen
d good deal upon who waz called upo
ne to eat it.
shan't never enquire for boiled hos
n' trich az long az remain in my rigf
mind.
nc If the hosstrich is blessing tew I'll
y dessert country I hope thay will sta
q thare, for so long az we hav the turke
buzzard, and the Sandy Hill crane,
III feel az tho we could get along and el
"' dure life.
l am writing this essa on the hosstric
Ss' good deal by guess, for .hav new
seen them in their natiff land, nor new
nc mean to, for just so long az i get thr
y meals day, and liv WHARF grass groz
and water runs, don't mean tew hank
for hot sand.-Josh Billings.
MI Fair LAURA FAIR is in trouble. T