Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-06-13
.ali.sIrlielIIalinlneiulaaust.3 i i
Mrs. Jones' Pirate. I
BY MAX ADELER.

/ A sauguinary pirate sailed upon the
Spanish main, in rakish-l0 oking
schooner which was called the Mary
Jane.o She carried lots of howitzers
and deadly rified guns, with shot and
shell and powder and percussion caps in
b The pirate was a lonely. man, and
short and grim and fat; he wore a, wild
and awful scowl beneath his sIouehfng
hat. Swords, pistols, and stilettos were
arranged around his thighs, and, de!
moniacal glaring was quite common
with hiseyes.q gEAWH @gs
His heavy black mustaches curled
away beneath his nose, and dropped in
elegant festoons about his very testoons
about his very toes. He hardly ever
spoke at all, but when such was the
case, his voice. twas easy to perceive
was quite a heavy bass. - 80. 80; si
He was not a serious pirate, and de-
spite his anxious cares, he rarely went
ito Sunday School, and seldom said his
prayers. = He aworshipped lovely wo-
men, and his hope in life was this: To
calm his wild, tumultnous soul with
pure domestic bliss. q 8 - iaf
When cOnversing with his shipmates
he very oftenssw that he longed to
give up piracy and settle down on shore.
He tired of blood and plunder, of the
ioys that they could bring; he sighed to
win the love of some affectionate young
thing. bands ssar -; .isslslI lo5Hss !:
One morning, as the Mary Jane went
bounding DER the sea, the pirates saw a
merchant bark far off upon his lee. He
ordered pursuit and spread all sail
that he could spare, and then went
down, in hopeful mood, to shave and
curl his hair. aaVewSla
He BACKED his boots, and pared his
nails, and tied a fresh erayat; he elean-
ed his teeth, pulled down his cuffs, and
polished Up bis hat; he, dimned. with
-four the radiance of his fiery red nose,
for, hanging with some vessels wash,
he spied some ladies hose. 3sa,'ni STss
q Once more on deck, the strangers
hull he riddled With a ball, and yelled !:
sI say! what bark is that" In answer
to his call, the skipper op the other
boat answered in thunder tones "This
here's the bark Matilda, and her Cap-
tain name is JONES' .r.,.ll,.s - .fi-,,.. :.
THE pirate told his bold eorsairs to
man the jolly boats, to board the bark
and seize the crew and slit their tarry
throats; and then to give his compli-
ments to Jones, and say he wished that
he and Mrs. Jones would come and
spend the day.. 4 ',,''g ~. y = n
They reached the bark, they killed
the crew, they threw them IN the sea;
and then they sought the Captain, who
was mad as he could be, because his
wife4who saw the whole sad tragedy,
it seems made all the ship vociferous
with her outrageous screams. - ei6oet . II
y But when the pirates message came
she dried her streaming tears, and said
although, she'd like to come, she had
unpleasant fears that, his social status
being very evidently low, she might
meet some common people, who she i
would mt care to know. .,s1p i9i,.i'isi'; sne'
> Her husbands aged father, she ad-
Iaitted, dealt in bones, but the family
descended from the famous Duke del
Jones; and such blue-blooded people,
that the rabble might be checked, had
to maketheir social circle excessively
select.
Before she visited him in the ship
she wanted him to say the Smythes
had recognized him in a social, friend- |
ly way; did the Johnsons ever ask him
round, to their ancestral halls? Was
he he noticed by Thompsons? Was he
asked to Simws' balls?
The pirate wrote that Thompson was
his best and Oldest friend; that he had |
stopped at Johnson's when he had |
week to spend. AS for the Smythes,
they worried him with their incessant
calls; his very legs were wearied with
the dance at Simms' balls. N 3 4 49, 1
(The scoundrel fibbed most shame
lessly. In fact he only knew q lot of
Smiths without, q y-Ta most plebian
crew. His Johnson used q vulgar d, , I
his Thompsons spelled with p, his
Simses had but one M, and they were
common as could be.)0 1a4rts8 vi
Then Mrs. Jones nussed up her haiff
and donned her best delaine, and went |
with Captain Jone5aboard the schooner
Mary Jane. The pirate won her heart I
at once by saying, with smile, he