The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1872-09-27
BULLY OLD ARKANSAS
BY MARX TWAIN.

4
! company who caused me particular
. discomfort. One was a little
; Swede, about twenty-five years
old, who knew only one song, anC
he was forever singing it. BY day
We were all crowded into one
small, sitting bar-room, and sc
there was no escaping this young
persons music. Through all the
profanity, whisky guzzling, ,'old
/ sledge" and quarreling, his mono
tonous song meandered with never
n variation in its tiresomc same
ness, and it seemed to me, at last,
that l would be content to die, in
order to be rid of the torture.
The other man was 4 stalwart
ruffian called ARKANSAS" who
carried two revolvers in his belt
and i bowie knife projecting from
his boot, and who was always
drunk and always suffering for a
fight. But he was so feared that
nobody would accommodate him.
He would try all manner of little
wary ruses to entrap somebody
into an offensive remark, and his
face would light up now and then
when he fancied he was fairly on
the scent for fight, but invariably
his victim would elude his tolls,
and then he would show j disap-
pointmeut that was almost pathet-
ic. The landlord, Johnson, was a
meek, well meaning fellow, and
Arkansas fastened on him early,
as a promising subject, and gave
him no rest day and night for a
while. On the fourth morning,
Arkansas got drunk and set him
self down to wait for an opportun-
ity. Presently Johnson came in,
just comfortably sociable with
whisky, and said:
Il reckon the Pennsylvania lee
ton
Arkansas raised his finger i'm
pressively and johnson stopped.
Arkansas rose unsteadily and con-
fronted him. Said he:
"Wha-what do you know about
Pennsylvania? Answer me that.
Wa-do you know bout Pennsyl-
vania?"
Il was only goin' to say"
"You was only goin' to say.
You was! You was only goin' to
say-what was you gOin' to say?
That's it! That's what want to
know. / want to know wha-
what you (hic) what y'u know
about Pennsylvania, since you're
making yourself so internal free.
Answer me that?"
MIR. Arkansas, if you'd only let
me"
"Who's a henderin' you? Don't
you insinuate nothing agin' me-
don't you do it. If fights what
you want, out with it. I'm your
man. Out with it"
Said Johnson backing into a
corner, Arkansas following men,
acingly:
"Why, 1 never said nothing Mr.
Arkansas. You don't give man
q chance. ! was only going to
say that Pennsylvania was going
to have an election next week.
that was all-that was everything
1 was going to say wish L may
never stir if it warn't."
"Well, then, why didn't you say
sit2 What did you come sWellin'
around that way for, and tryin to
raise trouble?
"Why, 1 didn't come swellin'
around, Mr.. Arkansas just"
I'm a liar am II" Ger-reat
Caesars Ghost"
"Oh, please, Mr.. Arkansas, l
never meant such a thing as that;
I wish / may die if did. All the
boys will tell you that I've always
spoken well of you, and respected
you more'n any man in the house.
Ask Smith. Amt it SO Smith?
Didn't say, no longer ago than
last night, that for man that was
a gentleman all the time and every
way you took him, give me Ar
kansas? Pll leave it to any gen
tleman here, if them warn't the
very words 1 used. Come, now,
Mr.. Arkansas, let's take drink
come up, everybody! It's my
treat. Come up, Bill, Tom, Bob,
Scotty, come up. / want you all
to take drink with me and Ar
kansas, old Arkansas l call him,
bully old Arkansas. Gimme your
hand agin.' Look at him, boys,
| just take 4 look ut him. Thar
stands the whitest man in Ameri-
ca!-and the man that denies it
has got to fight me, that's all.
Gimme that old ripper again"
They embraced, with drunken
affection on the landlords part,
and unresponsiye liberation on
the part of Arkansas, who, bribed
by drink, was disappointed of
his prey once more. But the fool
ish landlord was so happy to have
escaped butchery, that he went on
talking when he ought to have
marched himself out of danger.
The consequence was that Arkan-
sas shortly began to glover upon
him dangerously, and presently
said:
'Lan'Iord, will you p-pIease
make that remark over again If
you please?"
II was a-sain' TO Scotty that nay
father was upwards of eighty years
old when he died.
"Was that all you said?"
''Yes, that was all.
"Didn't say nothing but that?'
'No, nothing"
Then an uncomfortable silence.
Arkansas played with his glass
a moment rolling on his elbows on
the counter. Then he meditative-
ly scratched his left shin with his
right boot, while the awkward
silence continued. But presently
he leafed away toward the stove,
looking dissatisfied, roughly shout
dered two or three men ont of q
comfortable position, occupied it
himself; gave a sleeping dog a
kick that sent him howling under
a bench, then spread his long legs
and his blanket coat tails apart
and proceeded to warm his back.
In little while he fell to grumb-
ling to himself, and soon he
slouched back to the bar and
said;
'Ian'lord, what's your idea for
} rakin' up old personalities and
BLOWN about your father? Amt
this company agreeable to youf
If this company amt agreeable
TO you, pr'aps we'd better leave.
Is that your idea? Is that what
you're coming att
"Why, bless your soul, Arkan-
: sas. warn't thinking of such