Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-11-19
Les2acb for HasmaOrSsts.
Washington, D. Z.

Lemsc!a for Hetnao2'Ssts.
Rife Men -Pickpockets.
The rest OF the waek-Sarday.
For what port is man bound during court
ship? Bound to Havre.
Who is the first boy mentioned in the Bible?
Chap. !.
4 little boys inquiry-"I say, ma, if man
is mister, isn't woman a mystery"
i Kansas man who went to circus thought
the Egyptian mummy was nothing but Jerked
indians
A question for legal authorities Can you
make blind man liable for draft which is
payable at sight?
A candid old bachelor says. AFTER all wo-
mans heart Is the sweetest thing 10 the world
it's perfect honey-comb-fuU of sells
Look out for colds these days thad stob ub
the head ad stay wid you all wilder ad bake
you feel berry uncomfortable. That's what's
de batter
inlay it please your Honor, m deaf in one
ear, said juryman. ''fhen you may leave
the box, replied the judge, "asit is necessary
for juror to hear both sides. ~
Question boy, did you ever fight in the
wrong: Answer Yes, sir. Question -
"Why?' Answer: Because | didn' t know
till got the worst Of it that I'd got hold OF
the wrong fellow!"
An editor once wrote .'We have received
a basket OF strawberries from Mr.. Smith, for
which be will receive compliments, some
Of which are four inches in circumference.
SAL" said one girl to another, TINS
glad main got no beau now" why SO -
asked her companion. ''Oh, can eat j0' # as
many onIons as please.
A Western paper chronicles tho f,.ng;rv ~
horse thief, thus: Mr.. ,Ian CIemerfon,
equine abduc:or, Of Minnesota, was Ia;elv the
victim OF z neoktie sociahla,
Bay frank, Pat u saj2, a dealer. land
what for should / Day funk % rep!ied Pat.
40 put yoag atothes in, ~ wag the renv. And
go NAKED !: s8eisi.ped Pat. mot bit " it. "
Markes reports, -Tasgpe, plenty, going fas. /;
D!atnS' scarce a">A wanted: cheek full supply !;
piueA' saA'' bare; hearts, unsteady, price
lae12''' .og, mostly sold for cash on delivery.
.'NIy SOD, = said man OF doubtful morals,
pueting his hand on the head of sharp but
saucy ureh;7. my son, I believe Satan has got
hold CT sou I'm pretty sartin On it, rc-
pied the boy.
'Hamma, said five-year-old Nellie, they
sung / Want to be en- Angel n Sunday Schooi
to-day, and / sang with them. - why, Nel-
lie exclaimed mamma, ''e0uld you keep time
with the rese "Oh, yes; / kept ahead OF
them most ali !'ie way.
A quiet man rang door bell in Beacon
Street, Naw York, one night.
is the gentleman IE?' he asked OF ser
va1:.
I don; brew. DID you wish to sec him
particularly!
"Oh, n9; nagely wanted to tell him that
his house $ CO Tire.
gave her rose and gave Ter ring, and
asked her 80 nlagry ne then; but she sent
them eli back--the insensible thing-and said
she'd 10 no:ioa Of men. l told her had
oceans CT money and goods-tried TO brighten
her with eroan; bias she answered she WASH
brought I'D in the woods, TO be scared by the
screach 0? an owl I called her cabbage and
every thing bad; | sighted her features and
form till al length | succeeded in getting her
mad, and she ragged like sea in storm. And
then IL moment | turned and smiled, called
her my angel and ali; she fell into my arms
like weafisome child and exclaimed 1--WE
will ~. J this fall.
PAT AND THE Plea countryman having
killed a pig, aod not wishing to divide With his
neighb0rs, as was the custom IN that country,
said to his man, (who by the way, was son of
the Emerald Isle
Pat, # | give the neighbors who have given
to me- piece Of my pork I'll have none left
for myself Can you tell me what L am to
DOR
''Be dad sill" said Pat ITS myself that
can DO the same thing.
Good " says the countryman, rubbing his
hands and looking at Pat. NOV tell me what
| can d."
Faith, sir, said Pat, ''sure when the cray
ter is cleaned, just be after hanging it against
the door where livery mither's son of thin will
see it; and early in the morning, before any
one is about, get up and take in your pig, and
hide it away. Thin, when your neighbors
cone, just be after telling them the pig vas
stole +"
"Capital idea, Pat" exclaimed the country
man; ''I'il do it, by St. George -
So, when the pig Was cleaned, it was hung
up outside the door. so that the neighbors
might see il. The countryman anxiousiy
awaited the approaching night, and at last re-
tired to bed but not to sleep. Pat, under COW
er OF the darkness Of the night crept around
The house and stole the pig.
What yFas the aston6hment OF The country
u,aD, wnsa 81 early dawn he aTose 10 h!ce away
his pig, he found 10 PIG there, it can be better
imagined thaa described. IL the MIDST ct bis
bawi!dermens, Pat came in with his nsnaf
Top Q the morning to ye, SIT, and giving
him q knowing wink, said
'1Lasther, how about the pig?'
We'll pat, the pig was stolen in reality.
Faith, and that SQUADS as natural az il you
had lost your pig"
But, you biockhead, tell you the pig was
sto!en.'
Faith, ana be CORY, masther, the devil q
bit o me thought that you could do SO well. -
just stick to that, It's as natural as lifa.''
by St. GeoTge, reared the uog irate couu-
tTyma1 II tell you the pig was stoica.''
Oehe be jab6e'e,' says Pat, stick to il
and your neighbors will behave you, and devil
q bit Of it they IL get. Faith didn't think
you could do so we'll.