Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1872-08-23

use their own knives In helping themselves.
ms restriction docs not apply to the fork,
which never finds its way to their mouths.
by the time every one had assisted
himself to what he wanted, perceived that
something was causing Captain Jcc the
greatest uneasiness. lie glanced nervously
at his wife, bescechingly at Captain Spoor.
and angrily at his daughter They either
did not perceive his yexation, or thought it
better to take no notice Of it. His patience.
however, was at last exhausted and, almost
thrusting his knife down the unsuspecting
girl throat, he gasped out: why in HI
don some Of ycu-takc the man s coat
IRON him? On recovering a little from the
elects Of this sudden and unlocked for cx-
plosion, became alive to The fact tha. was
the only member of the company who did
not appear in shirt-sleeycs. At first, |
hardly knew whether to apologize for wear
Ing my coat or to insist on doing 20. The
gal, however, gave me little time for de-
liberation. Ny coat was of my back long
before her mother had finished a short ser
mon On the awful wickedness OF ouIeing and
swearing, which bad as feels in sayin' so. .
sald Mrs. Captain Joe, turning TO me, my
man = roo often led away to indulge in
am sorry to say thar Captain Spoor winked
most sympathetieally at Captain Joe on
hearing this stern rebuke Of his evil habit
while, at the same time, he coughed a
iearinlly hypocritical approval T. that
gentlcmsn's better half Tie driver hur-
redly swallowed q whole raw onion almost
entirely without masticati0n. and the steers
man fortified himself with a hot biscuit
and vigorous application Of his dirty
hiue-s.riped shirt sleeve u his pcrsuir-
ing forehead. As for me, looked from
one 10 another and wondered what was
coming next.
BY way Of a sot-of to I his little difficulty,
| cndeGvored to draw the gal into conycr-
satlon; bat she replied to most Of my re-
marks with gigglc, and to all my we'll
tarned compliments with 'Pshaw,' though
she appeared to be highly gratiEeJ q my
attentions 10 her. Not so, however, was
the young steersman, who could scarcely
[ conceal his yezation. lie was q Eac. good
looking young fellow, and had an eve On the
gal, as also to the boat, the house and lot
/ in Germantown, and the few hundred dol
! lars in the savings bank. which. in tie
/ course Cf nature, Will become her personal
/ property, she being Captain J0c's sole
heiress. The more piled her with c0mpli-
ments tie morc her merry eyes danced with
/ delight, the more she laughed. and the more
! the steersmen frowred. She was evidently
/ an arrant little ilirt. IN any other case her
( soUr-yisagcd mother would have stculv -
huked her for her loyity; hut she far FROM
favored the stccrsmans suit, ard seemed TO
ind malignant ,eatisiaction in his disc0mlt-
ure- Us 1t was, she clntentel herself with
mildly requesting her daughter to moderate
I her 'goings on This brought out Captain
/ Spoor, Who most ungallautIy addressed his
/ hostess as odd UppeTerust, and asked her
Why she couldn't let the gal enjoy herself
I This sally threw Captain Joc into such
/ ofcrvescont glcc that he had terrible fix of
coughing lie would no more So have dared
/ 70 encounter bis lady yiruous indignation
than to produce his hidden wAisly-bcttlc in
her presence. Ills gratitude to his friend.
/ therefore, for bis yicsrious effort was uu-
bounded, the more SO as ic succeeded in
driving the outraged lady to the tropical
/ privacy of the kitchen, muttcring between
Ter teeth, Some men has no manners
With Diplomatic cunning, the cantain sent
the gal after her with five dollar bill and
! the suggestion that the two ladies' should 70
on to Newark and buy any stores they
wanted. Five minutes aitcrWavd the table
was cleared, the ladies had departed, and
/ the two CAPTAINS and | were sitting in
solemn conclaye round a bottle of whisky,
/ a pitcher Of ice-water and three tumblcrs
| waited with some curiosity the opening
/ of the business which had brought us there.
I 10 my astonshmeut faund that all the
mystery was about very simple matter.
1t appeared that the two captains had Lad
q little business transaction in Buffalo. ia
..4-.. trf. --T
had been intrusJcd the management Of tie
affair, and who, from what tucy had lately
heard, they feared was playing them false.
| suggested to them TO demand Of him an in
mediate and detailed statement If the state
Of affairs. In case he neglected Or refused to
I furnish it, ! advised them at once to apply
/ for legal advice. Captain Joe - said Cap
/ tain Spoor, very solemnly. see what tis 10
| be a man Of cdication. Hes hitit by,
/ he hit it. Didn't ! tell you rcadin aaI
wri'tin' warn nothing to him p The cap
/ tain was far 500 absorbed in severe ft OF
coughing to reply otherwise than by pouring
! himself out a tumhle- OF whisky, n1djiug SO
me half dozen times between his coughs,
/ and then tossing it down at gulp. When
/ he had recovered himself a little, he c1-
/ pressed his fall and entire approval OF my
suggestions. lie produced FROM lis trowsers
/ pocket hi0wn envelope ard sheet of
paper, which were not little crunpled and
/ soilej from having lain hidden there all the
/ afternoon. His wife knew nothing Of the
/ Little speculation. and Of course must De
/ ign0rant of the sending Of the letter.
/ quickly indicted communication to the
/ fraudulent partner, which Captain Joe pro-
nounced 20 be masterpiece of writing.
/ Captain Spoor was equally delighted. Ever
/ do that ai0rc? be asked I told him that l
| did not remember having ever written. q
/ similar letter. We'll | want ID know, he
/ exclaimed
The business of the evening having been
/ GOT through, Captain Joe lit a fresh pipe and
declared his intention Of having a good time
Of it till his wife returned. TIE young
I steersman was bribcd with a drink to give
due notice Of her approach. By the time it
was dark, Captain Joe had got outside Of
about three parts Of the bottle Of whisky.
Captain Spoor being very moderate Iaan,
aud what with It's fumes ami many violent
fits of coughing he was fast approaching
disabled condition. lie was iumbling in his
pockets for some money in order to send out
to buy another bottle, when the stocrsman
called through the cabin window, Woman
a coming Captain Spoor and | at once
seized our host and shot him bodily into bis
bunk, with the strict adm0nition that be
should pretend to be asleep. We rinsod the
| glasses and replaced them on tie table, 50 as
to give the impression that we had been
drinking iced water, dropped the empty
bottle into the canal, and, covered by the
increasing darkness, slipped over the stern Of
the boat just as Mrs. Captain Joe and the