The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1872-06-15
FacetiR.

They have dolly Warden chills in
Georgia. The sufferer turns all sorts
or colors, and is terribly bumped up.
The fact is remarked that out of
nearly two hundred really distinguish
ed lady authors in this country, less
than dozen are of Southern birth.
The Danbury News says 'sBeauti-
fly the fronts of the churches. Set out
few posts for young people to lean
against while waiting for their SIS
tiers !"
A PORTLAND man went into shop
and stumbled through his errand in
this fashion: 81 want some white
woman's long-legged cotton stocking
hose
A New HAVEN doctor quieted a clam
orous landlord by showing him skele-
ton in a chest, and saying that E'that
man came here just two weeks ago with
BILL"
AN old farmer in New Hampshire re-
Gently killed pig, and being asked
how much it weighed, replied that it
did not weigh as much as he expected,
and be did not expect it would
In making calves foot Jelly, take
live calf, place his hind feet in a corn
mill, and then commence to turn and
the lelley will flow out in its crude
state. Collect this in pan, and throw
away the calf
A GENTLEMAN, investigating the mys-
teries of buzz saw in a factory in
Norwich, Ct, the other day, laid his
hand upon it ''tO see if it was going,n
and concluded it was when he discov-
cred himself minus three fingers.
The per diem of laborers in Chicago
is now about as follows; Bricklayers,
81 50 to $500; plasterers, So; stonema-
sons, 81 carpenters, $3.50 to 50. so !;
fathers, 81 to So, and common laborers
from S1.75 to $3.50.
IT is reported that number of cap
italists are about to construct new
harbor to the Gulf of Mexico, at the.
mouth of the Brazos river, the config-
uration of the locality rendering such a
project very feasible.
The educational institute on Look
out mountain is about to be closed, the
property sold, and the proceeds trans
ferred to the American College at Con-
stantinople, of which the proprietor of
the former institution is also the found
err
A COMMITTEE of Jewish rabbis and
doctors from various parts of Europe
have gone to England to examine the
sacred roll of the Pentateuch recently
found in Palestine and presented to
the British Society of Biblical Arch
zoology.
JAS. A. BRIDGES died in Springfield,
Mass, on Monday, from disease of the
blood, resulting from a bad corn AT
ter cutting the corn he irritated it by
walking, so that the toe had to be am
pntated, too late, however, to keep the
dis ase from spreading through his
system.
HUSBAND" hope you have no OBJ
lection to my getting weighed" Ger
tainly not, my dear; but why ask the
question:" "Only to see, my dear
love, if you would allow me to have my
weigh for once?"
PKG WING, the fireman son, was
the very worst boy in all Canton he
stole his mothers picked mice, and he
threw the cat in the boiling rice, and
he ate her up, and then says he, Me
wonder where the mew-cat be e.
A LITTLE six year old son of Mr.
Weber, of Sandwich, Illinois, Is almost
as expert with firearms as a grown man.
He passed a ball entirely through his
little hand and deposited it safely I'M
der his left optic without previous
practice.
A CHEMIST announces his ability and
readiness to convert the remains of any
dear departed at once into powder,
which may be used to dry up ink in
writing. Droll idea to be able to
correspondence
TIE Norwich Bulletin says: can
aged pilgrim, who had looked on the
logwoOd when it was of various colOrs,
walked into the Thames, yesterday, on
the west side. On being rescued he
observed that he wasn't quite sure
whether it was the river or the railroad,
but he recognized it at once. They
couldn't fool him Oh water"
The Danbury News says that Sails
bury man went hunting for crow on
Monday week. He put a couple of
quarts of powder and shot in his gun,
shut his eyes and blazed away. 1t is
impossible to tell what gun will do
when thus loaded, but it is certain that
it came apart in this case, and that the
village physician promptly sews IN
every piece of the man as rapidly as it
is found. The crow has not since been
seen, it is likely it has left town until
the excitement blows over.
Chow MUCH is that pie plant2" said
dweller of quiet district to a vender
of the material, Saturday evening.
Sixty cents" responded the dealer.
"How much 2" whispered the dweller,
struggling to catch his breath. ''Sixty
cents" repeated the accommodating
merchant 'tCan it be possible there
is a Just heaven above us p murmured
the stranger. Eyes sill, said the ven
der, respectfully. The stranger with
drew. Ne1Us.
SHERIDAN one day, when coming
back from shooting with an empty bag,
did not like to go home completely
empty, and seeing a number of ducks
in a pond, and man or farmer leaning
on rail watching them said "WhaN
will you take for a shot at the ducks"
"Well," he said, [ will take half a SOW
ereign." "Done," said Sheridan, and
he fired into the midst of the flock,
killing a dozen. "I'm afraid you have
made a bad bargain" said Sheridan.
!" Well, [ don't know" said the man,
they weren't mine"