The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1872-04-19
SPARKS OF JoLLiTI

SPARKS OF JoLLiTY,
Chamber music-Baby
Does it hurt joke to crack it?
"A decided stand--A stand Of arms.
"A tight fit--The deirum tremens.
Paper cuffs-Newspaper attacks.
"A burst of eloquence--An exploded
idea.
The marriage relation--Your mother
in-law.
The Bump of Destructiyeness"-A
railway collision.
Step on an orange peel if you wish to
make quick trip.
What is it you can take without
hands ? A hint.
What kind of rain does a sheep-farm-
er abhor? Na,Taia.
What part of o rife is like an assault
The breach of the peace.
AN ass may bray good while before
he shakes the stars down.
When is clock on the stairs danger.
ous ?-When it runs down.
Who ever saw anybody near fire
who didn't want to play poker?
MARY pSOple WIN CauIlCJ sluhTe "
circle, can get round a square meal.
"A lobster never comes ashore without
great risk of getting into hot water.
--"When we were boys together" is
the sad refrain of the Siamese twins.
When there is spanking breeze, bad
children should be put out to take the air.
"A young lady, recently betrothed,
says that 80. o. D." means "call on dad"
The man who popped the the question
by starlight got his answer in twinlling.
How to make a hot-bed-Put your
candle near your pillsw and read yourself
to sleep. a'0
"A Toledo chap was quite slnitten with
his neighbours wife. She did it with
rolling-pin.
Money is great lever in the affairs of
man; so great lever that some OF us can
never keep it.
Sake graphically describes certain
piece of beefsteak as "an infringement on
Goodyear's patent"
Mrs. Darlington says she does wish
they would hurry and pass the silver SER
vice bill in Washington.
Sensible doctors disapproye Of alcohol,
but believe III the cheering effect of ''good
sDiritso on their patients.
That Vermont girl who splits cord Of
wood daily, will be wood by raft of fell
lows when she grows up.
-" Never mix your drinlsu is held to
be good rule with topers, and is not at all
a bad one for mlkmen to observe.
Josh Billings says: ''Don't work be-
fore breakfast. If it is necessary to toll
hofo ,t,fo
1t is said that the light of match
will brighten wolf, but love match
sometimes fails to keep the wolf from the
door.
A man who has travelled through New
Jersey says he saw some land there so
poor that you couldn't raise disturbance
on it.
An Irishman describing the growth o.
potatoes in his native land, said, as .
clincher, : An sure, bushel of them will
fill barrel"
The census, it is said, embraces seven.
teen millions of women. Upon which fact
contemporary asks, "Who wouldn't be
census 2o }HF JAZZ
A wretched old BAG helor says "Aftel
all, a woman's heart is the sweetest thin(
in the world it's perfect honeycomb-
full of sells"
Tom Topper says it would be just as
sensible to establish restaurants without
meat, as it would be to license public
houses without drinks.
In the matter of revolution Mexico
beats the world-beats the world, because
The world makes only one revolution a
day, while in that time Mexico has half /
dozen.
Two shoemakers out in company were
asked their profession. Says one of them
I practice the heeling art" "And !
says the other, labor for the good o.
mems soles.n
"A modest young lady at the table, de.
string the leg of a chicken, said: i" take
the part which ought to wear drawers"
A young gentleman opposite, replied
III take the part which ought to wear
the bustle."
A HUMOROUS young man was driving
horse which was in the habit of stopping
at every house on the roadside. Passing q
country tavern where there were collected
together some dozen countrymen, the ami
NAL, as usual, ran opposite the door and
then stopped, in spite of the young man,
who applied the whip with all his might to
drive the horse on. The men in the porch
commenced q hearty laugh, and some in
CURED if he would sell that horse. ssYes,,
said the young man, "but cannot recon-
mend him, as he once belonged to butch
er, and stops whenever lie hears any calves
bleat." The crowd retired 10 the bar in
silence.