The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-05-02
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.


He who can suppress moments anger
may prevent days of sorrow.
Our friend Quiz says he has two vehicles
one in the barn, and his wife's little sui
Ky.
= If your neighbors' hens are troublesome
and steal across the way, don't let your angry
Every fourth year is set apart as being
peculiarly the woman's year, because she has
one more day to talk than in any other.
- Editing newspaper is very much like
raking fre-every one thinks he can perform
the operation better than the man who has
hold of the poker.
A patriotic citizen boasts that "no people
on earth can excel the Americans in the manly
art of sitting on bench and watching eighteen
men play base ball"
1t is well-established fact that people
who live much in the sun are usually stronger
and more healthy than those whose occupations
deprive them of sunlight.
A we'll known author says that nothing
battles the curiosity, eludes pursuit, and gener-
ally mystifes human intelligence like the plain,
simple and unvarnished truth
"A friend of ours, who has been severely
monstrance from his pen against the new book
entitled "The Beauties of Burns"
- An old farmer in telling young one how
he made money, said "When I woke up in
the morning, instead of rollin' over for 'nuther
nap, rolled out and went to work."
"A Yankee editor says: eff the party who
plays the ACCORDION in this vicinity at night,
will only change his tune occasionally, or sit
where we can scald him when the engine has
steam on, he will hear of something to his ad-
vantage"
The black crust which forms upon lamp
wicks should be removed before relighting, for
purposes of economy as we'll as of neatness.
If it is allowed to remain larger portion OF
the oil is evaporated without combustion and
consequently wasted than if the lamp is prop
erly trimmed.
"A very wicked man, being recently taken
i'll, and believing he was about to die, told
neighbor that he felt the need of preparation
for the next world, and would like to see some
proper persons in regard to it, whereupon the
feeling person sent for fire insurance agent.
= It is not generally known that the leaves
of a geranium are an excellent application for
cuts, where the skin is rubbed off, and 9TH
er wounds of that kind. One or two leaves
must be bruised and applied to the part, and
the wound will be cicatrized in short time.
There is a woman in Springfield who is
determined not to be cheated. She purchased
spool of cotton thread at dry goods store
the other day and insisted on having the clerk
unwind and measure it, to make sure it did not
fall below two hundred yards. If this were to
become general practice, cotton thread would
be up in price, or the sale of it would surely
become improbable.
"A new license law, advocated by soma
politicians, in Wisconsin, is to grant licenses
to both sellers and drinkers. Every man who
drinks must pay $40 for license before he can
get drink, and in order to obtain this license
| a man must have bondsmen who will be held
responsible for damage done by him while in 8
state of into1ication.
| - a fourteen year old girl was a witness in
a recent Indian divorce suit, and portion of
her evidence was as follows "Father got mad
because mother starched his stockings, and
mother picked up the stockings and hit father
on the head with them, and it sounded as
though they were sticks of wood. Father then
stuffed hot wheat cake down mothers throat,
and then mother set the dog on father and
twisted the dogs tail to meke him bite hard
err
- The Wisconsin Legislature has passed
law providing that it shall be unlawful within
this State for any person to become into1ica'
ted" The punishment for the offence is i'm
prisonment from one to two months, with
further Imprisonment at the discretion of the
Court, until the costs of conviction are defray-
ed. The law further provides that if any per-
SON be found drunk he may be taken in charge
by any one who chooses to take the responsi.
bility, and kept until he is sober. For this SGT.
vice the one taking such charge is to be paid
the expense of his trouble, with an additional
fee of two dollars for each day that the OUT
cast is harbored.
= literary gent out in Iowa, having con,
ceived the idea Of starting newspaper, applied
to classical Acquaintance for advice concern
ing that most important preliminary, title.
His friend, after mature deliberation, is said to
have suggested the "Augur" as indicative. Of
the power of divination which characterizes
successful journalism. Hugely pleased with
this hint; the editor of the future departed to
set up his Introductory article; but it is sup
posed that he either forgot the exact word pro-
posed, or, modestly rejecting that the proper.
tons of his enterprise scarcely warranted SO
high.sounding an appellation, adopted what he
deemed diminutive thereof; at all events, his
paper has appeared, and is called the G'n'let