Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-02-01
CURRENT ITEMS.

CoLERIDGE tells us of man who bad
such an overwhelming self-esteem that he
never spoke of himself without taking off |
his hat.
If insure my house, which may not
burn, why should not insure my life in |
the Washington Life Insurance Compa
ny ?-for must die.
A New WAY TO GET OLD DEBTS
Posting boy on the debtors doorsteps,
with a placard inscribed, Waiting for
So. 37' Tor whatever the amount is). Pat
ented in Brooklyn.
THE wisest man may be wiser to-day
than he was yesterday, and tomorrow
than he is to-day. Total freedom from
change would imply total freedom from
error; but this is the prerogative OF Om-
niscience alone.
"WILL you have the kindness to hand
me the butter before you ?" said gentle
man politely at a table, to an ancient maid
en-. :" I am no waiter, sir" Is that
so I thought from your appearance,
you had been waiting long time"
THE moment any creature is found
curled up and shivering, there is a loss of
comfort which costs the owner mills and
cents, if not dollars and eagles and it is
far better economy to house stock and
give them extra feed and care at this sea-
son.
ABOUT $500 in ancient gold coins were
unearthed in Philadelphia, a few days
ago, by laborers engaged in making an
excavation for the bed of new boiler, at
the back part of house on North Third
street. Some of the coins are very an
cient.
DURING the last eighteen years, 703 lu-
natics have been sent to the Taunton,
Mass, Hospital, whose madness was
caused by intemperance 53 were craZed
by Spirtualism, 151 by religious excite
ment, 6 by using tobacco, and by read
ing novels.
THE number of divorces granted in
Ohio in 1871 was LOTT OF these suits
1923 were brought by the husbands, and
754 by the wives. During the same period
there were 59,957 births, and 25, 149
deaths. Foreigners to the number of
2, 800 were naturalized during the year.
NEAR Shoals, Ind, few nights ago, a
gang of thieves went to a saw mill, took
down all the machinery, including the en-
gine and boiler, loaded it upon the cars
of the Ohio & Mississippi Railroad, hailed
a passing train, hitched the cars to it, and
hied away to Illinois.
A STARTLED fawn fed, for protection
from the hounds, into the door-yard of a
Virginia mansion, where a beautiful girl
of sixteen summers was sitting. The deer
approached her with intuitive trust, and
looked piteously into her mild blue eyes.
The maiden, however, contrary to all ira
ditions, slaughtered the animal with a
carving-knife.
AT Chillicothe, O., the other day, a
young lady, the daughter of A. w. West,
while standing on the steps leading down
to..the gate of an iron fence, slipped and
fell forward, catching her under jaw upon
the iren pickets, and her breast-pin and
ribbons were forced up through her jaw
into her mouth, making fearful wound.
1t was thought that she would recover.
SOME gouty old fellow put the following
"inscrlption" on a package recently re-
ceived at the express office in Keene, N.
H.: "Only watch-bang it through
toss it around-drop it twice at least.
Merely watch, simply watch knock
it about. Second attempt to get watch
over the road whole" The irony was ap-
preciated, and the watch went through all
right.
LONDON Punch contains this account of
ga Young Positivist :" Parson-What is
amiracle? Boy-Dunno. Parson-Well,
if the sun were to shine in the middle of
the night, what should you say it was ?
Boy-The moon. Parson-But if you
were told it was the sun, what should you
say it was ? Boy-A lie. Parson-l
don't tell lies. Suppose told you it was
the sun, what would you say thens Boy
That yer wasn't sober
AN economical Iowan, who had the
toothache, determined to remove his
tooth in the Indian fashion. Accordingly
he bent down sapling in the woods, lay
down himself, and attached stout cord
to his tooth and the sapling. Then he
touched the spring, and the next he knew
he had jumped over grove of about
forty small trees, and was trying to get
out of small pond that he happened to
alight in.
THE editor of the Cicero Qnd) Neao Ero
does not burden his readers with Ions
salutatory. Here it is in full cit is tho
fashion for an editor to write long intro
duction on taking charge of paper, bu
as we are well acquainted with nearly
every man in the county, it is only neces
sary to say that we intend to do as 10
please, and announce that our motto i
taoo almighty dollars gear in advance."
A FARMER near Nashua, N. n. ,.recentl
bargained his farm to another farmer fo
$4,000, but when the day and the pun
chaser arrived, informed him that his wifi
was in Mysteries about the trade, and b
guessed he would back out. "But," sal
the purchaser, 81 have come long dis
tance, want the farm, and must have i
How much more would induce you t
sell ?" "Wel," said the agriculturis
give me $3.50 more, and let her cry"
CoRNMEAE BREAKFAST CAKE-For tw
baking tins take one and half pints G
coarsely ground cornmeal. Add waite
nearly boiling but not enough to wet quit
all the cornmeal; add cold water, litt]
at time, stirring thoroughly betwee
whiles, until you have it so thin that
has tendency to settle as you pour
into your pie-tins. 1t should not be MOI
than half an inch deep in the tins, and
should bake quickly in a hot oven.
A HOLLAND FOR AN OLIyER.-Durin
the recent trial of Mrs. Wharton, at Al
napolis, Md, the following colloquy o.
CURED between the Attorney General an
DIR. Warren, distinguished physician
Baltimore, who was under cross-examin
ton: Attorney General-A doctor ougl
to be able to give an opinion of disea:
without making mistakes. Witness-The
are as capable as lawyers. Attorney Gel
eral-Doctors mistakes are buried 81
feet under ground: lawyers are no
Witness-But they are sometimes hur
on tree.
A FEW days ago child was crying
the street. A compassionate lady, passir
at the time, stopped and asked him VIII
was the matter. The child replied: &c
I've lost penny mother gave me-" "a
well, never mind" said the lady; "he
is another for you," and proceeded upt
her way; but had not gone far when s.
heard the little fellow believing more Ii
tily than before. She turned back a,
again asked the cause, upon which t
little urchin answered. "Why, if adj
lost the first one, should ave 'ad tu
pence"
A BREWERY ON Long Island, N. :
was the scene of most extraordinary ;
cident recentlv. Two men, Frank g
vain and Michael Quinn by name, W,
engaged in purifying beer barrels W
slaked lime dissolved in hot water, a
upon turning one of these barrels on el