American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-09-14
Ancient Jokes.

4 book of old Greek jokes has been re.
Gently published i'm England, and every
body is amused to see how many of OuT
modern jokes are mere limitations. Let
us give some of the jokes of Hierocles
which are indeed much better than some
we get through the mail, and some OF
which are very much like our modern
Irish stories:
SchOlastictts, wishing to train his horse
to live on very little, gradually took away
the fodder from him. At length, of course.
the horse died of starvation. What a
pity!' said Scholasticus, ''just as l had
him trained to live on nothing at all, he
dies ~
A friend tells him that he was dreaming
about him last night, and that he imagined
he met him in the street and saluted him.
. [ beg your pardon" said Scholasticus.
''for not returning your salute, but did
not observe YOU"
One of two twin brothers died. Sholas-
ticus soon afterward CHANGED to meet the
survivor. ''Was it you that died." said
he. ''or your brother?''
When SchOlasticus was in Greece, a
friend wrote to request that he would buy
some books for him. SchOlasticus neg
lected the commission. After some time,
when he returned home. he met his friend.
by the by said he, 81 never received
that letter which you wrote me about the
DOCKS when L was IN Greece"
SchOlasticus's son was sent off by his
father to the wars. When he was setting
out from his home he promised his father
that he would bring back to him the head
of one of the enemy. ''Oh - said Scho-
lasticus. Il don't care if you come back
even without your own head. provided
only see you come back safe and happy"
On another occasion. on board ship, in
Il storm. seeing the rest of the passengers
81. I,n,,
oars. and other objects. rs 4 security in
case of wreck, Schoiasticus makes himself
fast to IN anchor.
Having occasion to make a hurried
journey, upon his coming to a ferry. he
enters the ferryboat on horseback. booted
and spurrcd. and when asked why he
does so, replies that he wants TO get over
the river more quickly.
So, again. Scholasticus and his friend.
who, as it CHANGED. was bald, having oc-
casion to keep watch together, agreed to
divide the duty between them. each in
turn sleeping while the other kept watch,
to be by his partner awakened when the
time of his own watch arrived. During
one of Scholasticus's sleeping times, his
friend played him the trick OF shaving his
head. Scholasticus, on awaking, put up
his hand. and feeling his head bald, called
out i'm alarm, that ''they had awakened
the wrong person.
On another occasion, having a house to
sell. he brings with him one of the stones
of the wall las a sample of the house
On another. seeing his doctor coming up
the street. he hides behind a wall. ''bcin"
ashamed as he says ''to meet the doctor
it is so long since have been ILL.," And
when a Uhievish slave continued TO steal
his wine by boring a hole i'll the bottom
of jar. the mouth of which Scho!asticts
had carefully sealed. and when Il friend IN
explanation suggested that. although the
seals at the top were safe, perhaps the
wine had been distracted from the bottom,
You fool - says Schoiasticus. don t YOU
see that it is not the bottom of the wine
but the top that is gomez