The Hickman courier., 1872-06-01
VarIetIRs.

Two tons of boys marbles lately ar
rived from Germany at the Oeorgeto"n
custom house.
A Roy has been found in VOLTS den
in India. cared for by the occupant ana
eating the raw meat that was brought
him. Is another Rome to be built
The people of Wyoming don't know
whether to call their female judge JUS
ticess of the peace or justice OF Inc
/ peacess.
A stingy millionaire having died, his
| family wanted to have his body petrIhed'
so it would keep for all time, whereupon
one of his nephews remarked, You II
only have to complete what nature has
/ begun His heart was petritied long ago
The prisoner has a very smooth eoun-
tepance." Yes; he was ironed just De
fore he was brought in. That accounts
for it.
A man in Washington only belongs to
four hundred aud ninety nine secret SO
cieties. II is unhappy because refused
admittance to the Seven Serious jack
asses" the number being complete with
out him.
An exchange tells that. sat twenty
years of age, Leland Stanford arrived III
California with only one shirt on his
back. Since then, by close attention to
business, he has accumulated over ten
millions?" What can a man want with
ten million shirts?
I'VE have a span of horses" said an
economists the other day, "oU our farm
that support themselves without any
cost." why, how's that?' exclaimed
listener. why, you see, remarked
the questioned, "one is a saw horse. and
the other clothes horse.
4 gentleman, while making a speech
in Lawrence, Mass. inadvertently step
ped forward aud off the platform. To
the peals of laughter that greeted his
uulucky fall, he claimed that any speek
er had a right ito come down to the
level of his audience"
4 counsel had mimicked witness
who, as north couutryman. pronounced
the word water" as if it had been wat
ter, inquired of him whether in his part
of the country they spell water" with
two tsp No, said the witness, but they
spell manners With two MS
During the war an Irshman was posted
with a musket on duty, and had wan
dered little out of his position, was &C
costed by an officer with, "What are you
here for?' Faith, yeur honor" said
Pat, with his accustomed grin OF
good humor, they told me I am here
for century.
4 Boston lawyer had horse that al
ways stopped and refused to cross a Ger
tain bridge leading out of the city. No
whipping, no urgiug wonld compel him
to cross; so he advertised him ITO be
sold for no other reason than that the
owner wants to go out of town"
a colored man was once asked why he
did not get married. Why, you Zee,
sab, said he, 4 got an old mudIer,
and | hab to do for her, ye see, sab, an
eff I dident buy shoes an stockins she
wouldent get none Now, eff was git
married. d hab to buy dem tings for my
wife. and dat I'D be taking de shoes an
stockins right out er my old muider's
mouf.'
A gentleman was staying at a country
house. when, hearing great clatter be
low one morning, he looked out and saw
a couple of grooms holding one of the
servant maids on a horse, which they.ied
with difficulty around the yard. lie
asked them what it all meant. Nv ell
you see, sir, said they, we're going to
take the horse to market to be sold, aud
We want to be able to say that he has
carried lady"
a clergyman created quite merri
ment the other day on one of our stS M
boats, going over to lay out new camp
meeting resort, by the inquiry What.
positive proof is there that King David
and his son Solomon were tailors ?" No
one in the crowd could answer. aud the
humorous divine quoted the familiar pas
sage "And Solomon mended the
breaches which David his father had
made"