Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-03-08
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Disciples of Neutrality-suspicious..
A window-shutter-A store porter.
Young men of standing Corner loafers
The First Tubular Bridge-The bridge
of the nose.
A game of toss and pitch-Life on the
ocean wave.
The Common Lot-Twenty-fve feet by
one hundred.
An agricultural understanding mort
gage on farm.
Honey-bees are winged merchants they
cell their honey.
The real buffalo Bilp'-The Grand
Dukes expense account.
The best way to make time go fast is to
use the spur Of the moment.
If man has a great many debts, are
they "very much to his credit ?"
Brown writes to learn if policeman has
any legal right to "take up note
A hundred cents will make dollar, but
a million dollars won't make good sense.
To keep warm of cold day, women
double the cape, and men double the horn.
A bachelors face is often the worse for
wear-a married mans for wear and tear
Extending your shop front into the
newspaper, is the latest definition for ad-
vertising.
A person speaks Of one Of Grants sup
porters as his right bower'-then he must
be knave Of course.
A man whose hair turned white in sim
gle night is surpassed by the girl who lost
hers in single dance.
A baby who kisses his mother and fights
bis father, may be said to be partial to his
ma and martial to his pa.
A teachy husband told his wife they
could not agree, and must divide the house.
very well,' said she, you take the out
side
Josh Billings says: eff man has got
eighty thousand dollars at interest and owns
the house he lives in, it amt much trouble
to be a philosopher
The latest church novelty is lady collec-
tors. It is said a merry and knowing twin
kle of the eye will make the old wretches
take their pocket book out.
A boy Of five sunni ers in New England
recently. while at his devotions, surprised
the family by praying that he might have
so brothers and 100 sters.
An impertinent fellow asked gentleman
at public gathering why he had shaved
his side wbiskers, and was answered
''That to meet some men he required
more cheek"
South Carolina is agitated by the conun-
drum, what is the difference between a
town bell and Governor Scott 2 Answer
'One peals from the steepe and other steals
from the people,
How hollow it sounds = said patient
under the movement cure, as the physician
was vigorously pounding his chest oh,
that's nothing, said the doctor wait until
we get to the head
A young lady who, after kissing two
year old boy, made the remark, II love to
kiss little boys was exceedingly surprised
by little fve.year- old girl inquiring if
'fshe didn't like to kiss big boys, too I?
At leap-year party in Atlanta, on the
9Th instant. the young ladies showed their
manliness by having the following notices
10 conspicuous places, I'VE mean business, ,
Now is our chance Waiting is tedious
Our friend whose eye-sigbt was not good,
was recommended to try glasses. He says
he went and took four at the nearest drink.
ing saloon, and the result was that his
sight was SO much improved that he could
see double.
No reward for answer. If a mikmaid
four feet ten inches in height, while sitting
on three-legged stool, took four pints OF
milk from every fifteen cows. what was the
size Of the field in which the animals grazed,
and what was the girls age?
An old lady said her husband was very
fond of peaches, and that was bis only fault.
Fault, MADAME said one, how can you
call that fault !? why, because there are
different ways of eating them, sir. Nv
husband takes them in the form of brandy =
For thirty years "Pm sitting on the
style, Mary passed untarnished as veteran
joke iu the papers, when coupled with sas
the husband said when he sat on his wife's
new bonnet but the milliners have killed
it by making the bonnets too small to sit
on.
A Connecticut fisherman one day bated
his hook with live frog. After patiently
waiting for some time for bite, as he chat.
ted with friend, he found that his lively
bait had swum ashore, and was sitting qu-
city on the rock by his side He wound up
his line and went home
A captain who had a sound sleeping mate,
caught an Irish boy in the middle of
watch frying some pork and eggs he had
stolen from the ships torres, to whom the
captain called out, Z GU lubber, you, I'll |
have none Of that Faith, captain, I've
none for ye, replied til , lad.
councel had mimi ed a uitnaSs IN bic |