The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-05-24
Astrange Conversation
BY EDWARD cARswELL.

tional Temperance Publication House
the other afternoon, waiting for a
friend who was purchasing books in
| the store, | Was greatly astonished BY
the following conversation between
the agent and his assistant. Tile TOR
mer had large pile Of letters, just re-
ceived from all parts OF the country,
and the lady was asserting tracts. :.
.4gsnt. did you send the Rey.-T i.
Jones .Our National Curse!"
assistant. No; he writes that It j.
not sufficiently strong. lie wishes a
thousand "Cllolera Conductors, to
distribute among his congregation.
He also wants "Gn Toddyn for his
| Sabbath School, and says he does not
think much OF Temperance IN Smi-
| iay Schools, (" but likes drunkenness
and Christian Love- better.
| agent. We'll, let him rave what he
wants, but send u sword in Season.
at the same time.
| assistant. | find we are out OF
sympathy for the Drunkarl,' and
have more "Liqnor Sins" than We
ought to have.
a@at Yes, and we must get rid OF
them as soon as possible, and also the
effects of Alcohol OH the Human SyS-
tem." Here is a letter from Mrs. Smith
in which she complains that You have
sent her the ''Deacon and his Dog
instead of "0ur Young Minister"
and says that she does not like "Our
Stumbling Brother
| .AssistdM. She is certainly very
particular; she wrote for Somebody's
Son." and | must have been careless
in sending.
AgeM. The Rev. i. Thompson
whites, 81 have read the 'Witc's Sc
cret, and, in consequence, have given
one of my dcacons the Fatal DIaught,
and wish had fifty more Ready to
Perish.'n He also states that Ills
Personal Honor" was damaged in
transit, and asks for some more.
assistant. Well, we have none To
spare in the Office; think the PHI
losophy OF Drinking" would suit him
better.
.Agem. DIR. Lurewcll says that he
believes the ''Wine Cup and the Cal
lows'' will convert more sinners IN y
month than lie can with a year 5
preaching; and as each OF his congre-
; cation llas ssNatliral and Reserved
} Rights be hopes they will each get
"Gled's Grip" which lie thinks would
; do them good.
Assistant. think if he would rec.
, ommend Temperance and the Bible
! to his church, it would be in q bettel
= state.
.AqeM. l have written aud recon-
= mended ''Rnm Fiend" for eacl
!, pew; they would just suit his congrc
:, CATION.
Assistant. Miss Sweet says sht
Y wants the "Best Fellow in til,
+ World" and that she will let her sis
Y ter have the 'renlperance Doctor.
10 | wrote her that she should have mor'
"Self-Denial 2 but she says she like
g "Liberty and Love- better, and vii
u, u, take "Nobody's Advice"
~ 4lqeat. The Hon. X. Harris say
~ that an ''lIonest Doctor" has neyet
y been seen in that part of the country
W and does not know anything abou
:; who "Who Killed the Man." lie alst
y y states that an expressman lost Little
" Lizzie" Oh the road, and wants "Wil
D. liam and Mary" instead.
4, assistant. The Rev. =. jenkins
y saws he found ''Nlocking Genius" il
le his pulpit, aud "Blasted Tree" ii
: |, each pew, and that his people lik,
= them better than the ''0x Sermon
7 which he gave them the Sunday be.
:, fore.
ie Aem. The Rev. Fiddle, d. D..
send, for one thousand "Freemcn Of
Slaves" to put one in each cell o
their penitentiary; he says, further
81 have on hand q few Rescued
! Brands, which intend hanging VI
- - in the horse-cars to let people know
" :, that my church is not quite asleep
? Assistam. Did you send ''rimothS
!" q Teetotaler" to the poor-hollse.
1mm. Yes; and now we Will sent
:, :. a "Shot at the Decanter," and elos'
. for the day.
= Now, knew my friend the agen
!, !, to be one of the best temperance Incl
!, !, in the world, and also one Of the mos
u energetic and successful of Sunday
:. School workers. also knew the lad,
" assistant TO bea thorougll-going Chris
:" finn npI frIn tnnlnnlnurp Uirl so vol