The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1872-08-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

his pet ram Eugene. He calls him the
modern Eugene, A ram.
MRS. Partington says she does wish
they would hurry up and pass the silver
service bill in Washington.
A RELEASED convict remarks that there
is more prose than sentiment in his CON
eeption Of Auburn locks"
One may believe in God in two ways
either as thirst believes in the orange. or
as the ass believes in the whiD.
IT has been found that in nearly every
civilized country the tree that bears the
Esost fruit for the market ia the aKle-tree
"YE are the children Of the devil,
was the text Of divine in the morning,
and in the afternoon he said, Children,
obey your parents.
WHERE once the prairie was trackless.
save for the Indian trail, it now bears
tracks Of Trail, which shows what differ
ence little dash will make
How many are there ov yes down
there ~ shouted an Irish overseer to some
men in a coal pit Five" was the ans
wer. q Well, then, the half Of yes come
up here, said he.
ONCE, during the war, Barnum was at
Washington, exhibiting Gen. Tom Thumb
and Admiral Mutt. Mr. Lincoln said
: You have some pretty small generals, but
| think can beat you
They tell some reckless stories OF the
uncleanliness and cheap management in q
Boston boarding house. The latest is that
pound of its butter appeared at . neigh
boring barber shop to get its hair cut
COLONEL O. was very fat, and being a
bankrupt, Was met by one Of his creditors
with a How do you do, Colonel r
. Pretty well you see hold my own
yet. Yes" said the other, " and mine
too, to my sorrow"
TN 50 thirsty, said boy at work in
the corn field.
. We'll, work away, said his industri-
Gus father . You know what the pro
phet says Hoe, every one that thirst
eth.
A UTAH settler was recently tried for
scalping his wife, when the Judge remark
ed that " in the East, where he came from.
instead Of scalping their wives, men now
load them down with false hair and kill
them with kindness, whereat the audience
laughed.
BIBBs was married the other day to q
very quiet, not to say stupid girl, with
face like dolls. Some one remarked to
huntington that Bibbs had been on the
lookout for wife for some time, and had
now wooed and won huntington said.
Yes, a wooden one, that's Just what she
is
The other evening a lady propouuded
to US the following conundrum What
kind Of potatoes are most popular among
the ladies III We modestly remarked that
we were not aware which species Of pota-
toes the fair sex were most fond az. when
the lady Mortified us with the answer,
Pal-pi-tatOrs
A CLERGYMAN passed a boy weeping
bitterly, halted and asked, What is the
matter my little fellow n The boy re-
piled : Before we had hardly got enough
to eat of anything, and now what shall We
do, for there's another one come III
Hush thy mourning and wipe of those
tears, said the clergyman, and remem-
Der that He never sends mouths without
He sends vlctuals to put into them" II
know that, said the boy, " but then He
sends all the mouths to our house and the
victuals to yours.
FELIX Neri, the celebrated professor in
the college Of the Propaganda il Rome.
once asked Of an ambitious young student
what he proposed to do after leaving col
lege. Study the law, was the answer.
What next N Why, enter upon its
practice, Of course What next r.
Gather honor and wealth" "What
next II :" Get married, and set up an es-
tablishment. What next e Enjoy
the results Of my labors What next y
"Why, responded he, with some hesita-
tion, :" die, ] suppose" WHIT next e.
The young mans face fell and he was
speechless.
A SCENE occurred IN one " our courts,
says the New York Ners, not justified by
anything IN the returns The Judge is
quick spoken, and "a a stranger would appear
somewhat testy, although such isnot really
the case. A gentleman called in while he
was on the bench, III relation u some
business he desired To have transacted. and.
having attracted his attention. was in the
act Of stating his reason for the unseasona-
BILE interruption, when his honor turned
suddenly and said
" What is your name, sir "
" Lowder, was the reply
What is your name :" repeated his
honor, raising his voice.
"Lowder, was again the response
Drawing in full breath, the now excl
ted Judge fairly screamed
What is your name, sir nj
=" Lowder, sir Marx Lowder was still
the answer
" I'll mark you if you answer me in that
manner, said the now thoroughly infuri-
ated judge 10 the bewildered applicant for
Judicial favor
At this moment friend ventured to ex-
plain that the gentleman's name was Low
der" L-ow-d-e-r," said he spelling it. \"
20, said the wearer Of Judicial ermine,
fully comprehending the situation, and
laughing heartily, n beg your pardon, but
don I that spell Londer r.
mo, sir" but amunder the impression
that had compelled you "a ask once more,
the owner Of the name would have been
lpw enough.
An amIable smile and an invitation were
the results