Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1872-06-08
Gosh DillkoUs' Spice.BOx.
sNAns, sNAIKs, AND BABYs.

The slowest gated animal on the
face of the earth liz the snail.
They are one ov the phew who take
their house wit them, when they go
away from home.
Snails are sed tew be delikate eat
ing, but if kan hav all the hash i
want, will try and struggle along
without any snail. You kant phoOl
me with hash, kno how that is made,
but don't knO how snail are put to.
gether. Ignorance il sed few be bliss,
and have often thought that it waz,
and if don't never know how snails
taste, don't think now shall repent
of it.
1t haz always been a source of much
doubt with me, in mi hours ov cortem.
plashun, which waz made fust. the
snail, or hiz shell, but iii don't kpo
even this, l don't mean tew get mad
about it.
hav crate phaith in emmy job that
natur tm ms out, and had rather hav
phaith than knowledge, it saves a
CRATE deal ov hard work. 1t costs a
CRATE. deal tew kno all about things,
and then You amt certain, but phaith
liz cheap, and don't make emmy blum
ders. :,
Science il smart, but she kant tell
w what makes the flowers blush so
neDny different c0lOrs, but phaith
can.
Science on deth bed il pigmy,
but phaith il giant.
STRIPED SNAKE.
The striped snake il one oy the
slipperyest jobs that natur ever turned
loose.
They travel on the lower side of
themselfs, and kan slip out of sight
like blowing out handle. They were
made for sum good purpose, but new
er hay bin Informed for what, unless
it was tew hav their heds smashed.
They are sed tew be innocent, but
they have got bad reputashun, and
all the innocence in the world won't
kure bad reputashun.
They liv in the grass but seldom
git slept on, bekauze they dOn's stay
long enuff in the right place.
When waz little boy, and wore
naked feet, and waz loafing around
loose for strawberrys, waz often times
just going tew step on a striped
snaik, but it alwus cured me ov straw
berrys.
If a striped snaik got into 10 aker
lot before did, aiwus konsidered
that all the strawberrys in that lot be-
logged tew the snaik.
"Fnst cum, fust sarve,r was mi
motto.
am justsaz fraid ov snaiks now AZ
waz 40 years ago, and if should liv
tew be az old az Nebudkennezer waz,
and 60 few grass as ne did, one stri-
ped snaik would Spite 50akers ov good
pasture for me.
Wimmin don't luv snaiks emmy
more than do, and respekt her for
this.
How on earth Eve waz seduced by
snaik, liz a fust class MYSTERY tew
me, and if hadn't read it i'm the BIZ
BILE, would bet aginst it.
beleave everything thare IL in the
bible, the things kant understand, /
beleave the most.
wouldn't swop Oph the phaith /
have got for any living mans knowl-
edge.
Snaiks are all sorts. and all sizes,
and the smaller they are, the more
am afrade Ov them.
wouldn't buy farm at half price
that had a striped snaik on it.
Ded snaik are a weakness with me :
] always respekt them, and whenever
j see ded one in the road, don't drop
a tear on him, bat drop another stone
on him, for fear he might alter his
mind and cum tew life agin, tor snaik
hates tew die just az mulch az kat
duz.
never could ackount for a snaik or
kat hateing tew die SO bad, unless it
waz bekauze they waz 30 poorly pre-
pared for deth.
BABYS.
Babys Inv with all mi heart; they
are mi sweetmeats, they warm up mi
blood like gin sling, they krawl into
me and nestle'by the side ov mi soul,
like kitten under cook stove.
have raized babys miseff, and. kno
what j am talking about.
have got grandchildren, and they
are wuss than the fnst krop tew riot
among the feelings.
If i could hat mi way, would
change all the human beings now on
the face Ov the earth back into babyf
at once, and keep them there, and
make this footstoOl one grand nusse
ry; but what should do for wet nus
SEES don't kno, nor don't care.
l would like tew hav 15 bs,bys nov
on mi lap, and mi lap amt the handy
est lap in the world for babys, neither
My lap il long enuff, but not thu
widest kind Oy lap.
am good deal ov a man, but
konsist Ov length principally, ant