Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1872-02-03

is not dangerous thing anyhow, and as
to fy-traps, do not deal in the article,
but | can recommend you to very
reliable firm, whose ad F." is in my
paper, who do; allow me to present you
with their card-Gristle L Whitkias--
they will furnish you with their cele-
brated double-ended fy-trap at the fol-
loN ing low rates, strictly for cash. ITO
HI with you and Gristle & Whit
klns, and take your internal fly trap
with you you are the biggest dead
beat that | ever seed" Sir said l ,bristl>
ing, am not dead,I am the editor OF
the Bald Eagle Clarion, and, sir, scorn
the imputation OF being either dead or
beat, and to prove what | sag, please
sit up ia bed aud read this seventeen
column leader which wrote, ploviug
conclusively to any ordinary intellect
that we have had war in America.
William first hustled to the back side
of the bed, but as | advanced to present
him copy of my paper, he commenced
getting up " No you don't" said he
then to himself: "crazy by b -
Crazy's no name for it if | git ont OF
this I'll set up the rest of the night
confound him / stood calmly by
watching his actions, for | thought him
demented, and as / had often heard that
a lunatic thought everybody else fools
/ did not interrupt him. +et me
pass, stranger" said he; 81 want to
90 down stairs" He shot down stairs
making the descent in about three
Jumps. He accosted the landlord thus
= That fellow you sent up to my room Is
as crazy as bedbug. / told him to
turn 10, and he wanted to sell me sew.
enteen thousand ay-traps; told me
where | could get them wholesale
strictly for cash then went on with a
lot OF stuff about Gristle & Whifklns
what do | know about them! | called
him dead beat, and he sprang rig
marole about bald eagle and carton
and the fool waited me to sit up il
bed and read seventeen coinma ac'
count of the buzzard's deviltry and
expltes When he first come In ht
toll me something about driving quilts
| like as if as soft a thing would drive
and called me the Hon. Spuphead
cuss him For two cents, I'd burn hin
out" and he rolled his eyes savagely
towards the loft. In a moment he wa.
deeply engaged in the game with the
landlord aud packer. ] had that bee
to myself that night. The mex. morn
ing William eyed me sharply, and took
good care 10 get at the fartherest end o
the table from me. This, confess wa
perfectly agreeable to me. | was JUS
ready to start, when | saw William
cautiously advancing toward me; h
came up within about thirty feet, whel
he stopped, pulled out his revolver
cooked it, and said =" | never takes al
insult from no man, no difference wher'
he is, crazy or not now, if you don
take all that abuse back that you gin
me last night, I'll raise your t"p>knot.
My dear sir, said /, am man o
peace, [ am the editor of paper
could [ not induce you to subscribe OF
the spot? | was advancing togar'
him he fred one shot wide of tn
mark. then turned and boltcd for tn
barn The last words that heard hin
saw were "raving crazy, madder nor
March hare cuss him, | wish | ha'
fetched him" | hastily mounted IN,
mule, and made double quick time ou
of that.
i N. B-I have since learned tha
neither William nor [ understand al
the English language. Editor Of til
Bald Eagle Clarion.
VULGAR-One of the quickest way
| - o-oooa ;rporanco and N Htook NJ ~,