The Placer herald., 1872-07-13
A NEVADA FUNERAL.

|
defence Of a stranger beset by numbers. He
the proprietor of dashing help-meet, whom
he could have discarded without the iormality
of divorce. He had held a high position III
the fire department, and had beer a very
Warwick in politics. When he died there
was a great lamentation throughout the
town, but especially in the vast bottom STRAIT
um of society.
On the inquest it was shown that Buck
Fanshaw, in the delirium Of a wasting ty-
phoid fever, had taken arsenic, shot himself
through the body, cut his throat and jumped
out of four-story window and broken his
neck; and after due delberation the jury, sad
and fearful, but with intelligence unblinded
by its sorrow, brought in a verdict of death
"by the visitation of God" What could
the world do without .uries
Proagous preparations were made for the
funeral All the vehicles in town were
hired, and all the saloons were put in mourn
ing, all the municipal and fire company flags
were hung at hal mast, and all the tremen
ordered to muster in uniform, and bring their
machines draped in black.
Regretful resolutions were passed and va
rious committees of one was appointed to call
on minister-a fragile, gentle, spiritual new
| hedgling from an Eastern theological semi
nary, and as yet unacquainted with the ways
of the mines. The committeeman, "Scotty'
Briggs, made his visit.
Being admitted to the presence, he sat
down before the clergyman, placed his fire
hat on an unfinished manuscript sermon un-
der the minister's nose, took from it red
silk Handkerchief, heaved Il sigh Of dismal
impressveness explanatory Of his business
He choked and even shed tears, but with
an effort he mastered his voice, and said, in
| lugubrious tones:
"Are you the duck that runs the gospel
mill next door p
"Am the-pardon me | believe do not
understand.
With another sigh and half sob, Scotty
rejoined:
"Why, you see, we are in a bit of trouble,
and the boys thought maybe you'd give us
a lift if we'd tackle you; that is, if I've got
the rights of it and YOU are -theshead alcrlS es
the doxology works next door,
81 am the shepherd in charge Of the flock
whose fold is next door,
"rhe which,"
"The spiritual adviser of the little com
pany of believers whose sanctuary adjoins
these premises.
Scotty scratched his head, reflected mo-
ment and then said:
".You rather hold over me, pard. guess
can't call that hand. Ante and pass the
buck"
GLOW? l beg your pardon. What did
| understand you to sayl'
"Well, yonv rather got the bulge on me.
Or maybe we've both got the bulge, some
how. You don't smoke me, and don't
smoke you. You see, one of the boys has
passed in his checks, and we want to give
him a good send off, and SO the thing I'm on
now is to rout out "a little chin-musc for us,
AMI waltz him through handsome"
"My friend, seem to grow more and
more bewdered. Your observations are
wholly incomprehensbe to me. Cannot
you simplify that some way AT first |
thought perhaps | understood you, but now
| grope. Would it not expedite the matter
if you restricted yourself to categorical state
ments of fact, unincumbered with obstruct-
ing accumulations Of metaphor and allegory?"
Another pause aud more reflection. Then
Scotty said
"Il have to pass, judge"
GLOW ?"
"You've raised me out, pard.
81 still fail to catch your meaning"
"Why, that last lead of yourn is too many
for me-that's the idea. / can't neither
,r,,,,r nor follow su;t p"
The clergyman sank back in lis chair
perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on his
hand and gave himself up to reflection.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful but
confident.
."Ive got it now, SOS you can savvy,
said he. "What we want is gospel-sharp,
see ?"
GA what ?"
"Gospel-sharp-parson.
"Oh why did you not say so before
am clergyman--a parson.
"Now you talk! You see my blind, and
stradde it like man. Put it there!' cx-
tending a brawny paw, which closed over
the ministers small hand and gave it shake
Indicative of fraternal sympathy and tervent
qualification.
"NOw were all right, para. LeIs start
fresh. Don't you mind me snuffing little,
becos we're in power of trouble. You see
one of the boys has gone up the fume.'
"Gone where p
cup the fume-thrOw'd up the sponge
you know" =,
"Thrown up the sponge?"
"Yes-kcked the bucket"
"Ah! has departed to that mysterious
country from whose bourne no traveller re-
turns"
"Returnp Well, reckon not. Why,
pard, he's dead"
"Yes, understand.
80, you do? Well, thought maybe
you might he getting tangled once more.
Yes, you see, he's dead again" J,
"Agaiu2 Why. has be ever been dead
baforew