davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02
BIunders of Bash uIness.

If there is any defect more striking
than another in America, it is BASH
fitness. Young America, in partic-
ular is painfully affected by it. An
incident is mentioned by cores
pondent, who was desired by his aunt
10 go over to neighbor Shaw's and
see If he had any straw for sale for
filling beds. "Mr. Shaw" said our
informant, twas blessed with a good
" number of Misses Shaws, and l
therefore felt little timid at encount-
ering them. To make the matter
worse, l arrived just as the family
were seated at dinner. Stopping at
the doorway, hat in hand, STAN
mered out. "Mr. Straw can you
spare me enough shaw to ill couple
of beds I"
"Well, replied the old gentleman
glancing around ut his large family,
and enjoying my mistake, 81 don't
know but l can; how many will you
need %
"Before / could recover, those hate
full girls hurst into chorus of laugh
ter, and / broke for home in cold
SWEAT
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

NARROW Souls. lit IL with mar.
row-souled people as with narrow
necked bottles-the less they have in
them, the more noise they make in
pouring it OUT.
If we save the moments of time
We will have enough for every need
ful work. Moments are the material
of which days and years are made
II these be well improved, we will
have years devoted to profitable EN-.
ployment.
"Who was Richard III before III
was himself again ?'n The answer
is plain; He was somebody beside
himself.
Why Is Ireland likely TO become
the richest country In the world ? BE.
cause the capital is always Du6-tin
SIS molasses good for cough ?n in.
CURED a youth with a slight cold. al
ought to be-" was the reply, sit i:
sold for consumption.
A physician stopped at the door o.
a country apotheeary and inquired
for pharmacopmla. SIR said the
apothecary, IL know of no such far,
mer living about these parts"
A Vienna banker, was so wei
pleased with lady vocalist's sing
Ing at his sons wedding that he CAV,
her villa worth $4,000 forms.
A man in Mer.den, Conn, di,
without tobacco last year, and CAV,
his wife $50 at Christmas, az the re
suit Of his economy. Go thou and d,
likewise.
There is u canary at the South En-,
of Boston, sixteen years old, tina
sang thirteen years, and commence,
singing again In the spring of 1871
aud now sings AZ well as younl
bird.
FIVE thousand pounds have beer
subscribed toward the proposed expc
dition In search of Dr. Livingston.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

A CURE For DRuNKARDs. Doc
tor Johnson gives a prescription Il
cure every drunkard, which amount,
to this:
!. Eat comfortable meals at regular
hours, partaking especially of farina-
ceous food, vegetables and fruits,
three times day.
2. Exercise regularly, but SO as not
10 inaree fatigue.
3. Have regular and long sleep. TO-
ing, to bed and rising at Irregular hours,
and take a sleep noon, If convenient.
4. kept the mind ms much inter.
ested and amused as possible, by
harmless games, sports, etc.
5. Take q warm bath daily, about
/ n. M, II convenient.
9. Break up old associations.
z. Keepaway nom old resorts.
8. Quit chewing and smoking 20.
bacco, for this blunts the moral sense,
and makes the Imagination dull,
Liquor makes the ideal faculty wild
aud unsettled, while tobacco makes
1t obtuse. N5
0. Never forget that n You are Ia
be new man you must have new
ideas, and these must be suclr MS TO
make you discard the use Of alcohol
Ia all its forms.
10. Do not take it as medicine any
more than as beverage, for 1t will
reawaken the old desire In the one
case as readily as In the other.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02
THE CHRONICLE.
9, 1872.
ARE THE cmLDnEN AT HOME ,

Each day when the glow Of sunset
Fades In the western sky,
And the wee ones, tired OF playing,
90 tripping lightly by,
1steal away nom my husband,
Asleep In his easy chair,
And watch from the open doorway
Their faces fresh and fair.
Alone in the dear old homestead
That once was full of lie.
Ringing with girlish laughter,
Echoing boyish strife,
We two are waiting together;
And oft, rs the shadows come,
With tremuious voice he calls me,
at Is night! are the children ut hone?
Eyes, lover answer him gently,
They're all home long ago."
And sing, in my qusvering treble,
A song SO soft and low,
Till the old man drops TO slumbcr,
With his head upon mis- hand,
And tell to myself the number
At home in better land.
Home, whore never a sorrow
Shall dim their eyes with tearsl
Where the smile of God Is on them
Through ali the summer years!
j know Yet my arms are empty
That fondly folded seven,
And the mother heart within me
Is almost starved for heaven.
Sometimes in the dusk of evening,
only shut my eyes,
And the children are all about me,
A vision from the ski 3;
The babes whose dimpied fingers
Lost the'way to my breast,
And the beautiful ones, the angels,
Passed TO the world of the blest.
With never n cloud upon them,
! see their radiant brows; rr
My boys that gave to freedom
The red sword scaled their vowsf
In q tangled Southern forest,
Twin brothers. bold and brave. -
They fell; and the flag they died for,
y Thank God floats over their grave.
A breath, and the vision Is lifted
Away on wings OF light.
And again we two are together,
All alone In the night.
They tell me his mind IL falling,
But smile at idle fears;
He IL only back with the children,
In the dear and peaceful years.
And still as she summer sunset
Fades away in the west,
And the wee ones. tired of playing,
Go trooping home to rest,
My husband calls from his corner,
Say, love have the children GOMEZ"
And answer, with eyes uplifted,
"Yes, dear they are oil at homer
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

To POLISH FURNITURE.-The fol-
lowing recipe for polishing furniture
Is said to be better than the ordinary
varnish Melt over moderate fire,
in very clean vessel, two ounces of
white or yellow wax, and when liqui-
fled, add four ounces of good essence
of turpentine; stir the whole until 1t
Is entirely cool, and the result will be
a kind Of pomade equal to varnish,
without any of it's Inconvenience.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

A Virginia paper has most felici-
tous way Of employing elegant and
expressive figures of speech, as wit
ness the following: "T'he devil first
invented snakes, fleas, scorpions, tar
antulas, centipedes, mosquitoes, gnats,
hyenas, owls, buzzards, hawks, vul-
lures, alligators, stingorees, gars,
sharks, ch gres and vampires; and
to concentrate all the meanness and
deviltry in creation, he put these in
a cauldron aud boiled them down and
produced u carpet Dagger, as the
masterpiece Of Satanic hate. And
Satan smiled when his first rested on
his last born and favorite bantling."
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

MASSACHUSETTS WHIsKEY.- "Ten
gallons Of kerosene, three pounds OF
potash, one ounce of strychnine,
mixed with soft water.r 1t was &C.
cording to this cheerful, not to say
conv:vial formula, that quantity OF
" whiskey" seized last week In New
ton, Massachusetts, was compounded,
the recipe having also been found In
the possession ofthe unfortunate deal
er. Ifyou want "gin," add qudntun,
su6ica Of oil Of juniper! The mys-
terry is that men who drink this dia-
bolical fluid do not drop down stone
dead ut once.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

A minister at a colored wedding
who wished to be humorous, said I:
son such occasions IL Is customary
10 kiss the bride, but In this case we
will omit it," TO which ungallant
remark the bridegroom pertinently
replied: On such occasions IL Is Gus
tomhry to pay The minister ten dol
lars, hut in this ease we will omit it.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

We take occasion 10 inform You that ws
have established an Agency in this locality
| for the saie OF oar CELEBRATED pEE-
FECTEp SPECTAtLES AND EYE GIsAe-
SES, with the weli-sfsown house MS under.
In introducing these beautiful Lenses to
your notice, We take the opportunity OF
calling especial attention to the many
advantages to be- derives from their use.
In the celebrated Perfected Stectacles and
Eye Glasses Of our manufacture, we have
Iembodied all the improvements which
science has discovered and art perfected.
| They will be found on trial TO Hssist tho
sight most brilliantly; soft, easy. and
pheasant TO wear. aud Invariably csnsing
a continuous and abiding Improvement in
the eyes, besides lasting great many
years without change being required. Our
Agents are furnished with tins system,
solely our own, and secured by copyright
thus ensurlng to our patrons not only Spec
taoles and Eye Glasses of peculiar excel
lence. but ~ well "a certainty that they arc
properly adapted TO the sight.
We take occasion to caution the public
against peddIers pretending 10 have our
goods forssIe- We never supply or employ
any peddlers, and our goods can only be
obtained in this locality OF our authorized
resident Agent,
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

1t is reported that Bismarck pro.
poses to issue invitations to the pow
ers for an International Congress, the
object OF which will be To establish q
system of cheap and uniform rates OF
postage, and to facilitate the trans
mission and exchange of mails.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

It follows that IL would not be prof
liable to keep hens after the fourth
year, as their produce would not pay
fer teeir keepingf except when they
are of valuable and scarce breed
q. X GeycIin on Poultry breeding.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

NUMBER or EGGS IN A HEN.-It
has been ascertained that the ovari-
um of fowl is composed of 600 ovules
or eggs; therefore hen during the
whole Of her life cannot possibly lay
more than 800 eggs, which, In the
natural course, are distributed over
nine years in the following proper
ton:
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

THE paper is to the people what a
signboard Is to the traveller. The pa
per tells who is in business and where
to trade, and the signboard tells the
name of the place and direction
Then, If you want people to buy OF
you, tell them through the paper
where you stay and what you have.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

How fast time flies when you are
working against it; how slowly when
you are working to fill it up What
difference between trying TO gel
your work done before your dinner
hour, and trying 20 I'll up your hour
Def, re dinner with work.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Wasn't it rough ON Clara, just as
she was telling Frederick at lunch
how ethereal her appetite was, to
have the cook bawl out: "Say! will
We have yer billed pork and beans
now, or wait till yer feller's gone"
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02
stood upon the oceans briny shore,
And With fragile reed wrote
Irpap IN A. aapd-

agnes, love theer'
Inc mad waves rolled by and blotted out
The fair impression. -
EInil reed Cruel wavel Trcacherous sand.
| III trust We no more;
But with giant hand I'll pluck .-..f
| FROM Norway's frozen shore
Her tnilest pine, and dip its top ~
Into the crater of Nesuvius,
And upon the high and FURNISHED heavens
III write
! Agnes, love thce.v
And | would like to see any
Dog-goncd wave wash that out!
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Successful farming Is made up by
attention TO little things. The far
mer who Is the most successful earns
his money with the best result. Such
men are the ''salt Of the earth"
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Let your thoughts be fit and suita-
BILE for the subject. Every day have
higher thoughts of God, lower
thoughts of self, kinder thoughts of
your brethren, and more hopeful
thoughts all around you.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Too late, too late!" who has not said,
The post IL out-the train has gone
The time Is ficds-the debt not paid
The aid not sought-@the work not done
Neglect makes uplife's weary freight,
And then we cry, "Too late, too late 7"
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

The Senate Committee OIL Com
merce has agreed to report bill for
the construction Of bridge over the
Ohio, Mt point between Evansville
and Mount Vernon, Ind.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

" Don't trouble your yourself 10
stretch your mouth any wider,n said
a dentist to n man who was extend
ing his jaw frightfully, "ae / intend
To stand outaide during the perform
sncs.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Vice President Colfax delivered an
address ii1'rooklyn, a few days since.
In the course of his address, he al
luded to the Alabama claims, end
said that England was bound by the
Treaty OF Washington and the decls-
lon of the arbitrators, and would have
to pay the debt in full.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

Here lies man who never had
an enemy. Then here lies a man
who never had an idea.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02

THE Roanoke savagely goes for
somebody after the following style.
We "know how 1t Is ourselves" but
never knew before just precisely how
"to do the subject justice" The
Times, however, does the whole mat
ter up neatly ain nut SHELF
Hear it
"When man stalks into our Office,
and with the impudence of the devil
asks for the "last Times and him not
u subscriber, we feel like jumping
down his throat. A man that is
clearly able to pay the small pittance
of four cents week, receiving the
news of his own and other sections,
and sneaks around a printing office
or his neighbours house to borrow
what he is too cussed stingy to pay
for, should be made to stand on his
head four days Ia cent day. out of
every week, and repeat the last speech
made In Congress.
Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1872-03-02
IcSrRAY.

TAKEN UP. u. II. Dnrcllell, rcsiding In
District No. s, IN the ID dny al dee. 1871.
one Sorrri Horse, about u or ~ years old,
aud about ~ hands high. one fore foot
white. two white spots an right and three
on left sldo. made lly the saddle Whit face.
and had on. when taken mp, three shocs.
Valued AZ ga.
Feb. o, ls72.at
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15

themsclve, LEX 'e-tins all the good Iich
things exhibited ~ ihi- department.
We notice number of articles pro.
seuted by young ladies that certainly ties.
tify to their ability to do up this part Of
housekeeping to perfection, aud we would
intimate to our bachelor friends, that such
good cooks must he worth looking after
as we are of the opinion that good bread
is better in house, than fine curls and
waterfalls, though we should not obiec,
to the latter. if we we're sure of the for.
mer.
The rain Of Thursday afternoon inter
fercd with closing out the entire pro
gramme, but the officers Of the society
we're compelled to omit two Of the trottinl
races, and close the Fair. We under
stand the Fair was not success 6nan
cialy, but ENOUGH was received to pay
the expenses and per cent. of the pre-
miums. We believe everyone seemed
satisfied, the officers did all they could
and would have had a very excelen,
Fair, had the weather permitted. The
best of order was maintained oy Capt
Moore and his assistants II. NJ. Chapman
W. Dewey and Il. D. Munger. \
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15
REPORTS FROM HOME,
A LIVING WITNESS!
BosToS HERALD OFFICE, ,
Boston. Sent. 10. 1870.

BosToN HERALD OFFICE,
Boston, Sept. 10, 1870.
ii. K. STEVENS, ESQ.,.
Dear Sir,-Among the many cures effected bs
the use of Vegetine, | have heard of none more
satisfactory than my own. | have been afflicted
with Scrotlla Salt Rheum for many years, inher-
tied in the blood, making its appearance on my
whole body, bursting out in different places, and
painful beyond description. Six of the most pop
ular purifiers which are advertised to cure Scrof-
ula and like complaints / have faithfully tried;
but mp disease was so deeply seated as to resist
all. laid my case before several prominent ply
scians, but nothing tended to alleviate. Finally,
by the influence of friends, | consented to try
Vegetine, commencing the first of January last,
and soon after experienced sensible relief, aud
could feel it working in my system very different
ly from anything had ever taken before. and ut
once discovered that it was accomplishing the OBJ.
ject SO earnestly desired l continued on, follow
ing directions, for three months, and the first of
April found me a we'll man have passed through
the hot summer and have Continued to be free
from any appearance of to the present time.
My general health is excellent, aud my recov-
cry, OF which had about SPARED. ascribe en-
trely to the use Of Negetine. could never have
been convinced Of the marvellous results of this
wonderful Vegetine under any other circumstan-
Cos; but now recommend every one to IN to
tnis inestinable remedy, and that all is true us 10
represented. am living witness; and it will
aiiurd me great satisfaction to show the marks OF
my disease, and converse on the merits Of Nege-
tine, and none will dispute who owe it what do.
will here mention Of n.y child having severe
attack Of heart complaint. which Vegetine has
tir,ly cured and shall always be happy to make
its virtues known within the range Of my infu-
enco. Yours, very respectfully,
En-. YOUNG.
Mr.. Young has been In the employ of tho
Boston Herald during the past eighteen years.
Many can vouch for the above statement.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15
CONSUMPTION CAN BE CURED.
SCHENCKS PULMONTC SYRUP,
SCHENCKS SEA WEED TONIC,

SCHENCKS SEA WEED TONIC,
SCHENCKS MANDRAKE PILLS,
Are tho only medicines that will cure Pulmonary
Consumption.
Sometimes medicines that will stop cou ah'wili
often occasion tho death Of the patient. Ii locks
up the liver, stops the circulation of the blood,
hemorrhage follows, and, in fact, blocking the
action Of the very organs that caused the cough
Liver complaint and dyspepsia are the causes
oil two-thirds ofthc cases Of consumption. Many
are now complaining with uull pain in tho side.
the bowels sometimes cOstve and sometimes too
loose, tongue coated pain in the shoulder blade.
feeling sometimes very restless and at Other times
drowsy: the food that is taken lies heavily on the
stomach, accompanied with acidity and belching
of wind, These symptoms usually originate from
a disordered condition Of the stomach or a torpid
liver Persons affected, they take ono or two
heavy colds and if the cough in these cases be
suddenly stopped, the lungs, liver and stomach
clog and remain torpid and inactive, and before
the patient is aware of his situation tho lungs are
mas Of sores, and liberated and death is the
inevitable result
schenck's Pulmonic Syrup is an expectorant
which does not contain any opium, nor anything
calcua ted to check cough suddenly.
Schencks Scaweed tonic dssolves the food, mix
cs with tho gastric juice of the stomach, digcsts
easily, nourishes the system, and creates a heal.
thy circulation of the blood When the bowels
are costive, skin sallow and tho patient is of a
bilious habit, Schenck's Mandrake Pills are re.
quired
These medicines are prepared by DR.. J. II
| SClIENCK 4 son, Northeast corner of Sixth and
Arch streets, Philadelphia Penn, and for sale BY
GEO. G. GOODWIN & CO., 80 Hanover street
Boston. John F Henry, College place, New
York, Wholesale Agents.
For sale by Druggists generally. 2i;to
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15
SCROFULA.
SCROFULOUS HUMOkS.

If Vegetine will relieve pain, cleanse, purify
and cure such diseases, restoring the patient to
perfect health after trying different hyscians
many remedies, suffering for years, is it not oon-
elusive proof, If you are sufferer, you oin be
cured' Why is this medicine performing such
great cures' 1t works in the blood, in the circu-
l,ting fluid. 1t can truly be called the Great
Blood Purifier. The great source Of disease orig
mates in the blood; and medicine that does
not act directly upon it, to purity and renovate,
has any just claim upon public attention. When
the blood becomes liieless and stagnant, either
from change Of weather or climate, want of exer-
else, irregular diet, or from any other cause the
Negetinc will renew the blood, carry off the put
rid hunors, cleanse the stomach, regulate the
bowels, and impart tone of vigor to the whole
body. The conviction is in the public mind as
well as in the medical profession, that the RENE
dies supplied by the Vegetable Kingdom are
more safe, more successful, in the cure of d.
sease, than mineral medicines Vegetine is com
posed Of roots, barks and herbs. 1t is pleasant
to take, and is perfectly safe to give an infant
In Scrofula the Vegetine has performed wonder
full cnres, where many other remedies have fail
ed, as will be seen by few of the many testimo-
mails given.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15

oSE-nAIr the people cannot take Castor Oil
from its terrible nauseating taste and reco in the
throat The Cas.oria prepared by DIR. Pitcher is
purely vegetable, perfectly harmless, pleasant tc
take, and more effective than Castor Oil. Ii does
not distress grippe, but regulates the system, and
operates when all other remedies have failed. II
acts like magic for Stomach Ache, Constipation
Flatulency, Group and Worms. 1t contains nei'
Their minerals, morphine nor alcohol Its sooth.
ing, quieting eject produces natural sleep, and
particularly adapts it to crying and teething chill
dren. No article has ever met such unqualified
endorsement / y the Physicians. Take no more
bitter Pills, Narcotic Syrups, Gripping Purgatives
or Sickening Oils. The Castoria costs but fifty
cents, mud when once tried you will never be with
cut H. ~ ;iw
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-10-15
Wonderful Cures.

DR.. urann, Of Boston, who has made so many
wonderful cures of cases supposed ineurable, In
almost every county in Vermont for the last i?
years. will visit Middlobury Cat Addison House.
on the 18th and 10th Of each month. Every In
valid should sec him for bis cures are wonderful.
Consultation free.
Read the following from the Newport Express:
Da. URAys.--we desire to call the attention Of
all invslids to the advertisement Of DR.. Ursnn,
frsn whish u will We sseR be 10 seen W Walt New