The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-06-27
Wi and Turner

wit and Runner.
A man who don't know anything vii
ell it the first time he gets chance.
A policeman was seen the other day
during rain storm, with an umbrella try.
ing to arrest the rain.
An item in defence of lazy men, calls
particular attention 10 The fact that they
never organize baseball clubs.
Why must Satan always bca gentleman:
Because it is impossible for an imp Of dark
ness to be imp O. light.
'They fred two shots at him. wrote an
IRISH reporter; the first shot killed him, bat
the second was not fatal
Was Richard III. right according to
the rules Of the game) after refusing to
''stand back AMI Jet the coffin pass" in or
derins it up and playing the king?
\ western paper ala ling 70 the statue
of Shakespeare, in the Central park, New
York, says: Chats right, such talen. as
William ought to Be enc5uragel.''
judge IIoar once said Of lawyer: TIe
has reached the snrerlat.ve life a. first be
sought to get on, and then he sought to get
honor, and now he is trging to get honest.
Peter Rou,-eI, Of Pittsburgh, thought
lcssly .igncl what he to believed be a con
tract. but which turned out to be note
for $1,000. Hereafter all papers present
ed to him will have diIigcnt Peter Rous-
gel.
There IS a man in Boston VINO has been
seen By competent witnesses to set fire to
portions Of his stock, AMI heard to express
the wish that most Of 1t might be burned,
and yet no notice of these facts have been
taken by the authorities. lie keeps q cigar
store.
The English Anti-Tobacco society got
Prof. Newman, who had never used the
weeI, to smoke and report his experience.
They calculated he would get sick and
write fcelinsly Of the horrible effects. But
he RATHER enjoys the practice now, and keeps
right on smoking
Rye looks gooi.-1meia Times. And
tastes good, too-DanJmy Ncrs In a
horn.-Bershre Courier We meant rye
bread, but it is evident the mind of the
Co,Tter man is wandering toward that stuff
that biteth like serpent and stingeth ike
bookkeeper.-DanJUy Netcs.
The Bay City Journal says: That
small, red-headed boy who so kindly came
in front Of our Office, and seated himself on
the railing, and tipped himself over in the
basement, creating Il momentary fright
among the passers-by, has ye locals sin
cere thanks. While men, women, and chill
dren were anziously looking to see how
badly he was injured, he came up stairs,
leaned over, and looking down, remarked !:
I'll do it agin for five cents
1lumphI said an Englshman to a Scotch
man, as they were walking over the fields,
oats are all very well in their way, but in
England we feed them to our horses, while
here they are food for men, 'Av, avr
said the Scotchman, an just see what fine
horses there are in England, and what fine
men we have in ScotlanIn
A New Jersey editor publishes the fol
lowing 'notis to the publik:' no notis
will be took from this date, hcreafterward,
ov letters that haint got post Office onto
them. Don't write only on one side of the
manuscript, and don't write on that. Don't
send any manuscript unless you can read it
after it gets dry. We pay ali the way up
hull, from ten cents to one dollar for con
trlbutions, according to the length and
settlements made promptly at the end OF
the next ensuing year. Poetry and prose
pieces are respectfully solicited. The high.
est market price paid for awful railroad
smashes and Opponents with another man
wife. No swearing aloud in our paper