American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1872-04-27


SWELL Ito DustmanH''I say, old fell
low, / s'p6se you take all sorts of wub-
bish in your cart, don't your" Dustman
-" Why, in course does; jump in guy
nor
THE employers in the New Hampshire
Asylum for the Insane amuse and benefit
the inmates by private theatricals, tab
leaux, ETC., during the winter months
when outdoor exercises are uncomforta-
BILE.
A MAIDEN lady who had once been
Tilted wrote her own epitaph, as fol-
lows
Here lies the body of one
Who died OF constancy alone.
Stranger, Advance with steps courageous,
For this disease Is not contagious
A CC/NECTICUT man is engaged in
working up a saw-log thirty teet long into
a fife for Gilmore's jubilee. 1t will be
blowed by nitro-glycerine, saws the Nor
witch Bulletin, and that paper is authority
ION all such subjects.
DE QUINCY mentions a chapter in Won
Trails work on Iceland which is entitled,
Concerning the Snakes of Iceland"
The entire chapter consists of these six
words "There are no snakes in Ice
land"
THE Goodyear Manufacturing Com
pany are getting out their spring styles.
hotel beefsteak, sponge buckwheat
cake, and an elastic india-rubber fowl,
warranted, with care, to last for years.
"GEr out of my way-what are you
good for ?" said a cross old man, to little
bright-eyed urchin, who happened to
stand in the way. The little fellow, as he
stepped one side, replied very gently:
They make men out of such things as
we are"
Or the gloomiest of practical jokes,
the worst one was that of sending all
in the Bowery on the list of April, on a
false orders. 1t was far more mournful
for the hearse drivers than any funeral.
M. PRUDHOMME in the decline of life,
was talking with his nephew, to whom he
related stories of his youth. "But,
uncle" suddenly exclaimed the young
man, what struck you most during your
life ?" My dear boy, it was your auntr'
A LADY in Atlanta tied her husbands
hands and feet the other day, just for fun,
and then went through his pockets for
certain billet dOur and found it His
physician tells him that his face won't be
badly SCARED, though he may remain
permanently bald.
THE juvenile rascals of Nashville, Tenn,
have discovered something new under
the sun in the way of mischief. They
put lighted matches into the street letter
boxes to see the smoke come putting out
at the crevices from the burning epistles
within.
A STORY is told of Youthful member
of the bar at St. Adams, who plunged
into glowing exordium in presenting
his case, in which he declared that,
when we look back upon the untrodden
paths of the future we behold the foot
prints of an Almighty hand"
SINCE the reign of the Emperor Maxi
milan l. Q594), the Austrian armies have
fought no fewer than nearly seven thou
sand battles, or one to every fifteen days
Since the year 1900 Austria has had one
hundred and eleven years of peace, and
one hundred and sixty years of war.
NORWICH, Conn.,, is somewhat rocky"
says the Boston Bulletin. ''The cook of
an eminent citizen having injured herself
by repeated falls over a ledge which pro-
jected through the kitchen floor, he is
now engaged in blasting it, after which
he will turn his attention to little bOul-
der near the centre table in the parlor"
THE Supreme Court of the United
recover damages for the loss of his wife
proportional to her usefulness and capa-
city to earn money, Boston man whose
spouse persisted in a recent railway acct
dent was allowed by the discriminating
jury exactly six cents.
THE Norwich Bulletin says that several
weeks ago a clergyman from Meriden
preached in one of the Norwich town
churches. 1t was fine sermon. On
recent Sunday clergyman from Eagle
vile preached in the same church. 1t
was very fine sermon. But it was the
identical one that was delivered there a
month previous. People are anxious to
know who wrote it.
SHOCKS was assured by his genial ia
ther-in-law that his bride was worth her
weigh in gold. At the end of the first |
week OF the honeymoon he enticed her |
on hayscaie, figured it out that she !
would bring 1913, $50. 80, and sent the old |
man word that he would discount the |
first five figures of the price, if they |
missed her at home" badly.
A NELEGGED Yankee orator, named |
Jones, was pretty successful in bantering |
an Irishman, when the latter asked him,
"HOw did you come to lose your leg?" |
=" Well, said Jones, ION examining my |
pedigree, aid looking up my descent, / |
found there was some Irish blood in me,
and becoming convinced that it had set |
tied in that left leg, | had it cut off at |
once" BE the powers" said Pat" it |
would have been better thing if it had |
Sctucu III your mead
AT a recent trial, the counsel for the
prosecution, after severely cross-examin-
ing witness, suddenly put on a look of
severity and exclaimed: "Now, sir. was
not an effort made to induce you to tell a
different story" "a different story from
what have told, do you mean?' 'That's
what mean" Yes, sir, several persons
have tried to get me to tell different story
from what have told, but they couldn't?"
Now, sir, upon your oath, ] wish to
know who these persons are" "We1l,
you've tried about as hard as any of
them"
POP CORN vender in San Francisco
first established himself in business on a
thoroughfare, with cash
capital of twenty-five cents, "A dozen ears
Of corn, a pepper, a furnace with five
cents worth of charcoal, and a match
w 18th the necessary amount of exertion
The match was ignited, the fire started,
the corn set popping, and business was
Day after day found him
sticking to his post, shaking his pepper
over the fire and selling his corn at five
cents bag. He has done so well in the
business as to start several branch con-
GERMS and hires a number of boys TO at
tend them.
BY HOOK OR CROOK.-There appears to
be no want of an origin for this proverb.
In the great fire of London many bound
Try marks were destroyed. This, in con
sequence Of many disputes as to the sites