The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1872-03-07

way l look Mt 1t. That is the way l felt about 1t
when l spoke on u previous occasion, and that Is
the way | feel about 1t now. | thank tho House
kindly for its attention.
FACTS AND FANCIEs.
would | were u waiter,
with II napkin In my hand,
For then behind my darling
SO patiently I'd stand;
And right behind her chignon,
so ~lustrOns and 80 black,
III hand her cup OF cOtlee,
Nor spill 1t down her back.
never would be weary
or fetching juicy steak,
The tenderest prairie chicken,
The goldenest corncake;
D, joy! to face her breathing,
To list her whisper sweet,
As timidly she asked me
For some more s0nsed pigs feet.
Till my passion would consume me
Like the lightning's deadly flash,
And NJ her small feet kneeling,
Fiinging down her corned beef hash,
I'd breathe my love In accents
As sweet rs dams0n pie,
While she sat with sausage in her mouth,
Affection in her eye.
Who cares for the head waiter,
Bearded, and stout, and grim,
When two lovely eyes of hazel
Are looking down on him?
Her head rests ON my shoulder,
Her words like jelly pass,
Asshe "Get papa's consent,
And some more apple sass!"
Miss Louisa Fowler, of rural New York,
has received a $4,000 plaster for her lace
rated heart, from an Ulster county jury.
Mr.. Martin was the breach-of-promiser.
Miss Dinkelspiel, Of Vicksburg, couldn't
live with such a name any longer, and
rushed to the arms OF the matrimonially in
clined Mr.. Gusdoferchen.
Alphonse (who has had an attack of
mother-in-law); "Parbleu, madam, it is not
re trouble Eat your daughter is my wife.
Non! 1t is because she is not an orphan
when she is married to me-"
A ferocious Georgia negro beheaded his
Sol 'in-law with neatness and dispatch. No
one ventured to axe his reason for so doing.
Only think of nine millions three hundred
bushels Of grain in store and afioat at Chi
cago. What q lot of colonies?
An Evansvillian who experienced no in
convenience from a stroke of lightning and
a mule-kick, is thinking seriously Of attend
ing Senator Morton's lecture.
The LeavenwOrth Times confesses to a
positive liking for Brother Hammond, say
ing: ale is as full of life and activity as
George Francis Train, as indomitaOle as
| Andy johnson, and as persistent as q life
insurance agent. lie is u firm believer in
the power of the press, and makes a liberal
Use of printers ink"
A New York reporter is responsible for
the statement that "Time has delved his
parallels upon the brow of Gen. Sigel."
The old fellow is probably besieging the
Generals Teutonic nose, and doesn't dare
to approach it except by parallels. Sigel,
when he perceives the approach of his last
enemy, will doubtless renew his historic in
quiries, "Verc, oh! we're ISIS mine ~cavalle-
ree" and "Vy don'd you pring up do
shackasses?"
In one ofour churches last Sunday night,
a fellow who was awakened by the retiring
congregation, found the following 'epetar'
pinned to his coat tail:
Sleep, 20 leTOus one, sleep
With patriots gone before,
While all around you weep
De careful and don't sn0re.
A fellow whose head is level on house,
keeping, sums up q few reasons why some
people are always poor. He says: Cream
is allowed to mould and spoil. Silver
spoons are used to scrape kettles. The
scrubbing brush is left in the water. Nice
handled knives are thrown into hot water.
Brooms are never hung up, and are soon
spoiled. Dish-cloths are thrown where
mice can destroy them. Tubs and barrels
are left in the sun to dry and fall
apart. Clothes are left Oh the line
to whip to pieces in the wind. Pie
crust is left to sour instead of making q few
tn,4, g., tno n,.aI g,,. 4, ,nt koJxn, oo,o
of in season, and becomes wormy. Vege-
tables are thrown away that would warm
over for breakfast. The cork Is left out of
the molasses jug, and the flies take possess
sion. Bits of meat are thrown out that
would make hashed meat or hash. Coffee,
tea, pepper and spices are left TO stand
open and lose their strength. Pork spOils
for the want of salt, from floats being on
the top of the brine, and because the brine
wants scalding.
Sundown, N. H., cheerfully nnounce
the fact that it Is without minister, lawyer
or doctor. The professions would not be
likely to vegetate in a Shutdown place.
A Po~ughkeepsie dry goods clerk last
summer saved from drowning the cook ola
canal boat. Recently he received a letter
from the father of the girl, stating that "as
ye saved the gal she's your'n." Strange to
say, he "dOn't see it,"
81 say, mister, have you got any yaller
developments ?" asked al old lady from the
country of a city clerk.
"Any what, MADAME" asked the aston
ished clerk.
"Developments-yaller Ones"
81 fail to understand you, madam"
"Why, yew dandiiied ignOrammus, yal-
Ter developments what they dew up letters
into"
"Oh! Enrelopes."
The Messoula (Montana) Pioneer for
Dec. 8, was printed on a half sheet of wrap
ping paper. The edition consumed all that
was left in town, and the editor announced
that the next issue would be printed on
gunny bags unless it stopped showing.
The popular and most fashionable ballad
now INDUCED in by Georgians commences
thus:
Yes, wen rally round the bonds, boys, wen rally
once again,
Shouting the battle cry. of steal EN-.
We will rally. from the hillside, weIl gather from
the plain,
Shouting the battle cry of steal EN-.
The last sensation novel is entitled, "The
Poisoned Gum Drop; or the Candy WOman's
Revenge" 1t won't appear In the Ledger.
The Atlanta Constitution publishes q
poem, the first stanza of which commences
with this suggestive line:
"The memory of thy laugh has kissed her back
--@
WEATHER curiOsities compared with
those of other years are interesting. 10
1916, after a February and March .po.i.
nrpcadputpu savpritv and n bf0 a-S""uomy