The Portland daily press., 1872-12-03
THE PRESS
TUESDAY MORNING. DEC. 3. 1879
Gossip and Gleanings.

TUESDAY MORNING, DEC. 3, 1879
Gossip and Gleanings.
A Danbury girl has married poet, and
| carries her own coal.
Georgia boys have become so experienced
in the use of sliDgs that they can kill poodles
in ladies' arms as they go along the street.
What's in name? At the prize exhibit
ton OF Prof. Blitz, on Friday evening, Benz.
=. Butler, Of this town, drew sett OF silver
spoons. Donb,try Ne7rs.
The city Treasurer of Dubuque kept tame
white mouse. 1t got loose the other night
and his tax accounts will require very little
room for storage.
The newspapers of the country are urged
to warn advertisers that postmasters are for
hidden by law to deliver letters addressed to
initials or fictitious names, unless sent to the
care OF some responsible person.
1t Is said that in Louisiana, since the war,
more money has been paid for ''the drinks
than the entire cotton crop of the State pro-
duced during thesame period.
This company shall never get another
cent fmy money" said an angry lady on
railroad train. "How then viii you travels"
asked ths conductor. 'Pll pay my fare to
you.''
1t Is suggested that the parents who leave
kerosene lamps, loaded revolvers, tubs of
scalding water and unguarded fires in the i'm
mediate vicinity of small children, do so in
order to clear their houses of articles which
servants unanimously dislike.
The Springfield Union is little hard on
the Yale boys of the present day, when it
says the, reason why Professor Tyndall
thinks so much of the Yale boys, and so efiu-
svely accepts the Invitation to lecture before
them, is because they afford so brilliant an
Illustration of his views concerning the inef-
ficiency of prayer.
One of chubby class of four-year-old Sun
day school scholars, when talked to by his
teacher about the sins and frailties of the
body, was asked, ''Well, my son, what have
you besides this sinful body?'' Quick as
thought, the little fellow responded, "a team
shirt and nice new pair of breeches.'
ltis said that one of the greatest pleasures
Ralph Waldo Emerson promised himself in
going abroad was to see Carlyle once more.
The two authors admire each other sincerely.
Emerson was almost the first person to see
anything in ''Sartor Resartus," and Carlyle
soon after said, in speaking of men of origin
ality, 81 hear but one voice, and that is
from Concord
On the night of The Boston fire, a dealer in
boots and shoes, finding that the fire had
reached his rear store, said to few strangers
who had assisted him: "You might as well
help yourself to boots.'' One fellow took a
pair the merchant handed him, and, after
glancing at them said: ''You haven't got a
pair of slim sevens have you?" An explo-
sion next door prevented a response.
An artistic reporter sees items in orange
stands, and paragraphs in everything. The
embryo banker in the Sunday-school books
attracts the attention of generous patron
by stopping to pick up pin. But the re-
PORTS whose nature is permeated by sense
of the responsibilities of his calling, sees ba-
mana peel on the church steps, and tarries
patiently by it till the congregation comes
out.
A deaf man was hunting for game, when
grouse flew up and lit on tree on the hill
side; at the same moment a traveller ap.
preached and inquired the distance to the
station. Deaf man (pointing)-He flew right
up there. Traveller-How far is it to the
next station? Deaf man-He lit right up
there. Traveller-You must be id fool.
Deaf man-Yes, there is great many around
this time ofyear,
Tie chap who tried to lift himself by
tugging away at his boot straps, has pro-
totype in fellow in Muskingum county. who
recently attempted TO commit suicide. He
looped rope around his neck, threw the
other end of it over cross-beam, and pulled
away vigorously with his hands, trying to
hoist himself from the floor. After few
pulls he would desist, and try to discover why
he didn't move up, and then repeat the oper-
alton. He hadn't succeeded in hanging him
self at last.
An ingenious drugstore clerk of Cleveland,
who is chemist in disguise, has discovered
new suicide article that not only makes him
famous, but it will save funeral expenses, and
entirely dispenses with coroners and juries,
and robs sensational newspaper reporters of
the pleasure of describing the corpse. The
article is a combination OF powerful chemicals
and when inhaled, change the entire body,
clothes and an, into gases in an instant, leav-
ing no traces of the victim, not even the life
insurance policy being left