The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1872-05-23
C,ss FAY Cos,tributOr--He Will nc GAN
IiAate for President.


Ill.,. b,ur has arrived. / can wait no
longer. The highest interests oil tue iia'lo'i
l,.ni.u,l that I present myself As candidate
for president of the United States. L have
waited for some one else to bring me olt, hIt
IN the multitude OF candidates no one seems
70 have thought Of me. don't thinkNef!
much of myself; but Il man don't want 10
think Of himself to he a candidate ior fresi,
J,nl uov-a-,lays, If he had any scii-fesarn
-, thc ou1se, br would think very lltllt Oh
himself hy the time ne got through with i''h-
| sell. ,,. o,c
am one of the lnoplc-I mi sht say one
Of the boys. came up from "''ScuI''s, ",u
! have brought up a good deal OF ol'Sculi'i
with me-. never had any i,S--oi ll'"I,.
nIs. I nm Il liberal" 10 Il fault. ana re'''li
to receive votes from any quarter "i.ilos
I am not ready to give quarters iol any
votes. ..,,,,,.,. nautl1-
A. for a platform. suit yourselves GENT t..
,.,r', ria Ir,.t,r. Platform would probably
,uit me ~ we'll rs any other. li;t' lnE s'"'.'
,nnn nearly every platform i'll the est II
u,,Ijl Ia. hard for YOU 10 get up one eo'lu
ma stand on. In the absence "l 4 pEl'io'n ~
',i,. ma. lnurarrrS, and I'll " stand on lia'.
Am The special friend of the lanorlnS
man. \, one likes to see I man WORN p''
Ter than | do. In fact, had ifll'ei Sct u
MN work than work myself. am lu' oll't
:,yrr,,. to working more tim ci&li, noun;
Inn am oppusr, Ia working single hour
I sl,an't even work for my 'lrlatloll, leaving
That for the men who want the offices.
am in favor of paving the l'atiohll acpl.
II i in fact the only debt | am III lavor OF
,ayin% and rather than not see IL paid ou-
ring nv administration | will pay II out OF
my own pocket.
In rbe matter of civl-service reform, l i'll
tend TO do tic civil thing by the nation II the
nation does the civil thing by HE. Being
civil is so rare a condition now-i-days i'll the
varied walks Of life to say nothing about the
r,n>) that reform i, urgently called for.
rctrrnchlnent is my motto. If You can't
put rctrencment plank i'll the Platform
mt in 4 board. am ready to work Wltl-
on any salary, hit shall insist upon my
board.
| Am rather inclined TO free trade, prefer
ring to feel free to trade wherever please;
but if tariff plank is necessary 10 my cleo
ton, put it in. l shall not get on tariH IL
amt elected.
Pledge lie rs strong A. you please to the
temperance men. The temperance p'cu2c
won't hurt me one hit.
whose relation lie may be. | shall appoint
none but Old Bachelors, chlIdlrss Wld"Ws,
aud orphans. Any man who has relation
i'll the world need not apply for i'll office M
der my administration. ! have few rcla-
tives Of my own holding o1licr now. but they
shall be promptly kicked ont is soon is | am
elected. One hrothci-in-iaW has Il LITTLE, coal
u!iirr OH The river. He must give il up. y
third cousin on NY nciahbol'> side drinks
too much occasionally, and gets Office foot. |
shall give him notice 10 quit. Another rcla-
ton has hankpring after George EllisS
"ufcc." 1t wont do him any good. You
see am determined to reduce the "reatirr'
rXIc!I>eS OF the Government.
| engage not to accept amy Gitl, unless It br
the highest Office in the gift OF the people. If
| am ever called "olir present Chief maSl>-
tritr" it Won't be ciIcl magistrate OF pres
enls. Not being L lilau of commanding pres
cllrr anyhow, there would probably be few
presents that | could commando " hat lew
natural gifts inay have, however, shall en-
dcav0r 10 retain. They are not worth making
any fuss about.
am not only in favor Of wonan'S rights,
but oI~wourn'> rights and lettS. am IN Ia
vor of WOMEN voting, provided they vote Tor
lie SEE no reason why woman should
nol hold Office, except, perhaps, the difficulty
Of getting hold Of it, Nor should there e
any bar to wolnan's accommodating property
and supporting the family il she wants to.
may be asked how would treat the In
diaus. | wouldn't treat them nj all.
They have been treated too much ana TOO
often. My private opinion, however, is, that
il will be treat when there isn't an lnlun
left.
| stand by the old Constitution that has
been tried. Few men have tried their coIlsli-
tuition more than have tried mine. accept
the amendments, every one Of them. When
il comes to amends. ain ready to shout
'amen ":ls loud ~ anybody.
! understand there il IN ambitious man
named George Francis Train, who uspircS to
be President Oh his promise to free Ireland.
engage not only to free Ireland, but TO
make Irish wlliSkey free in the bargain
shall at least be able to tie George Francis in
the popular vote, unless one or the other of
us is kept away from the polls. Hang it,
believe could tie the Davenport brothers!
| shall imiugur:ltc wholesale emancipation
business rs soon as am inauguraed. No
goods retaied at the White House when |
am President. engage to elnanciIatc women
from the thraldom Of fashion. TO give the
"boys" their rights, and abolish the custom
which excludes children in arms from the
elerating and purifying influences of the
theatre. have pledged myself TO free Ire
land and to free postage; 10 Tree hollSel1ceperS
from the tyranny of servant girls, tree l'cws,
free passes, and frecbooterS. TO free soil, to.
Tree tickets To shows, free drinks, free press,
and 81. NJ Free. trust nm not making
myself too free. FAT CONTRIBUTOR.