The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-05-07
MADAME SCANDAL.


early youth in the every day round Of farm
life; and who had never been known to
have the least ill-feeling toward each other
since the time when good old Parson Heri-
ct had united them in the holy bonds of
wedloclS, twenty-five years before. So well
was the fact of their conjugal happiness
known, that they were spoken of far and
near as the happiest pair in England. Now
the devil (excuse the abrupt mention of his
name) had been trying for twenty years to
create what is called "fuss i'll the family
between these old companions. But, much
to his modification, lie had not been able
to induce the old gentleman to grumble
about breakfast being too late, or the old
woman to give single curtain lecture.
After repeated efforts, the devil became
discouraged, and had he not been person
of great determination, he would doubtless
have given the work up in dispair. One
day as he walked along in very surly
mood after another attempt to get tho old
lady to quarrel about the pigs getting into
the yard, he met an old lady a neighbor of
the aged couple. AS Mr.. Devil and the
neighbor were particular friends, they must
need stop on their way and chat little.
"Good morning, sir" said the hag, "and
pray what on earth makes you look SO bad
this morningq Isn't the controversy be-
tween all the Churches doing service?"
eyes"
"Well, what is the matter, my highly
honored master?"
"Every thing is going on well enough"
replied the devil; ~ but old Blueford and
his wife, are iniuring the cause terribly by
their bad example, and after trying four
hours to induce them to do right, l must
say / consider them hopeless"
The hag stood a few moments in deep
thought.
care you sure you have tried in every
way?'
Every way can think of. y
care you certain ?"
! eyes"
"Well," replied she, g if you will prom
Use to make me present of new pair OF
shoes in case ! succeed, will make the at.
tempt myself, and see if / can raise quar-.
rel between them"
To this reasonable request the devil glad
ly assented. The old hag went her way tc
old Blueford's house, and found Mrs. Blue
ford busily engaged in getting things ready
for her husbands comfort on his return
from work. After the usual compliment
had passed, the following dialogue tool
place:
"Well, friend b., you and Mr.. b. have
lived long time together.
"Fiye-and-twenty years, come Novem
ber," replied Mrs. b.
"And all this time you have never had ;
quarrel"
Not one.'
{" am truly glad TO hear it," continneC
the hag, 81 consider it my duty to war;
you, though this is the case, you must no
expect it always. Have you not observe,
that Of late Mr.. B. has grown peevish ant
sullen at times ?'
GA very little So" observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
81 knew it continued the hag, "and le
me warn you to be OH your guard.
Mrs. B. did not think that she had bette
do so, and asked for advice as to how sh
should manage the case.
Have You not notccd," said the hal
that your husband has bunch Of long
! hair growing under his chin, side of hi
throat?"
Yes"
"Theso are the cause of the trouble
and as long as they remain you had bette
! look out Now, as a friend, / would at
i wise you to cut them off the first time yo
can get chance and thus end the.troubl,
and as long as they remain you had bette
look out"
Soon after this the hag started for HON,
and made it convenient TO meet Mr.. b. o
the way. Much the same talk in relatio
to his domestic happiness passed betwee
!, him and the old woman.
L "But, friend Blueford," said she, "
think it my duty as Christian TO warn yo
to be on your guard, for l tell you yol
wife intends your ruin"
Old Mr.. b. was very much astonishet
yet he could not wholly discredit her word
d When he reached home he threw himse
ON bed in perplexity, and feigning hin
b self asleep, studied Che matter over in h
u mind. His wife thinking this a good o
Il portunity for cutting off the obnoxious hal
took her husbands razor and crept soft
to his side. Now the old lady was mut