Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1872-02-20
Here some poetry for you:
caught her softly by the arm.
My gentle. black-eyed Kate,
She scuealed ''Let go. you cussed fool,
You hurt nv vaccinate! ~
.LaS3sc1s for -Hes22eG2'6sts.

To keep warm of cold day, women double
the cape, and men double the horn. ga 4
A bachelors face is often the worse for wear
"a married nan' s for wear and tear. -
A boarding house keeper mixed some patent
medicine in his hash because it was advertised
as cure for consumption.
A half orphan, whose mother is given to
chastising him, altogether dissents from the
idea that beneyolence istypihed by the widow
smite. ...s.. ~ - 9as a832 rs
The pen may be nlightier than the sword,
but the Danbury Nesos thinks that if you take.
two swords and rivet them together near the
centre, you will find that In many newspaper
Offices they are far mightier than the pen.
For thirty years I'm sitting on the style,
Mary passed untarnished as a veteran joke
In the papers, when coupled with ''as the hus-
band said when he sat on his wife's new bon
net, but the milliners have killed it by ma
king the bonnets too small to sit on.
When Wong Hang Soon, wealthy China
man Of San Francisco, was buried the other
day, they buried him with five wagon-loads OF
baked pigs and chickens. Unless it was the
intention Of the old fellow to open frst-ciass
boarding house at the start. it strikes US that
he ought to have taken the provisions along
raw.
A citizen Of North Stonington, Conn.,, buried
his first wife, and inscribed upon her tomb,
San Angel on Earth-A Saint in Heaven"
which was all right. But when he buried his
second alongside his first, the marble dealer
inscribed On her tomb: Another Angel on
Earth-Another Saint In Heaven" and the
neigbbors want TO know how long this thing is
going to last? s,s-
The War Department, in addition to its
weather-signal system, Is about to establish an
electrical system of storm signals in all the
larger cities Of the country, by which every
man who is on the magnetic belt can, BY
watching the signal, on his chimnsy-top or
ridge-board tell just the moment when 1t will
be safe for him to leave part Tor champsgne)
for home. a black flag flying will signify
''cross as q bear-typhoon approaching. A
white flag everything Is lovely; she Is
asleep" A red flag. With white centre-.look
out for squalls; baby just spanked. = While
white flag, with red centre, indicates simply
'cautionary' measures On the part of the ''old
man. who can GO homo under full sail, but
should reef bis boots and douse the pinnacle
lamp before going up stairs. Fl
A Kansas paper revives amusingly how
Gen. Sherman failed as conspicuously IN law as.
he succeeded brilliantly In war. In the early
'iayhaWkiug" days, the General made slen-
der livelihood in Calhoun county. and once,
when be had prepared himself most elaborate
", it is related that ''long, lank, lean, ge-
MUS leaving his OK team, came before the
court as his competitor. The General summed
I'D crandly, quoting freely from an immense
pile of books placed carefully before him, and
citing the E0gish common law to prove his
point. The .sbui.whacker" followed him. and
ridculed his precedeuts and secuted at his
books He said Il was an insult to the court
to read from s'the common law of England"
and declared that ''if we were compelled to
take any of that aristocratie British law, he
wanted the very best Her Majesty had, and
none Of her common law. That was enough
the Justice S face was set, and the General lost
bis case. Il Was the last be ever tried In han-
sas. or sIE 3@
SOMEWHAT PARTICULAR. the 4 30 train
from New I otk reached Stamford, Saturday,
says the Hartford Post, an antique looking
dame thrust her head out OF the WindoW oppo-
site the refreshment room door, and briefly |
shouted 'Sonnyi II
A bright looking lad came up to the window. |
Little boy said she, "haVe You moth
er 2'' /
Eyes, ma'am."
"Do you love herr
"Yes, ma am p
''Do you go to school?'
Eyes, ma alD
"And are you faithful to your studies r
do you say your prayers at night?'
les, ma am.
"Cau l trust you to do an errand for me?'
YES ma am.
81 think can, too, said the lady, looking
steadily down on the manly face. "Here is |
five cents to get me an apple. Remember, God
sees you.