The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-08-02

HOliauAy and Irteiids VIII sweep the
coast. lie will say tothe farmers, yoll
support Grant and | win pay so much
more per buslel above the market
price; or II you wish to ship your
grain | will freight for half price. If
the citizens wish 10 take an excursion
for pleasure win take yor for half
price. When you arrive ut Portland,
90 to my hotel, we viii give you the
best Of fare, cheap. There arr my
saloons, my barber shops aud shoe
blacks; the police are under my con-
troll. II any of those Liberals modest
you, the police win protect you. |
expect to get another grant of lantl,
and will be able TO accommodate YOU
on liberal terms. The soldiers will
require large amount to keep them
on the right track. The Labor Re-
form. Temperance, Anti-Sceret and
Free Trade candidates will all be pro-
vitled for. Grant will attend to the
negroes in person. It Is to be regretted
that our present Congress was eX-
trayagant in appropriating so much
for certain improvements and gave so
much land to companies. Congress
is more to blame for this than Grant.
Is there not danger In turning them
out and letting In more hungry
swarm? Mrs. Stanton and other dis
tiuguished ladies' conceived a very seil-
sible idea shortly after the war--and
that was not to buy or wear anything
bat domestic manufacture !; but when
It was fully matured 1t brought forth
nothing but q Dolly Warden"
On July 18th, midnight, came this
dispatch;
Great excitement among the COLI
victs. Secret interview with a Spirit
uali4t! A convict now in prison at
Salem and Greeley Grant more
Liberal than Greeley.
My name il McCorl, formerly prac-
ticing physician near Sodaville. Linm
Co., Or. Having obtained permission
Of the keeper OF the prison to visit
Mr.. Greeley, | put myself in a clair
voyant st,lte, laid off my earthly robe,
and started for the residence of the
Liberal candidate for President. |
entered the room without an escort.
and made known who l was. lie
reached out his hand, but begged to
be excused, as was only spirit. and
had called on him to consult OH a course
to be pursued, which would result in
Ousting that tyrant Grant from the
Presidential chair. The condition of
Our country L. snch, said |, that it will
require all the talent, energy, skill and
means to save it. The judgments of
God are upon us: Cast your eyes in
any direction, and you will see the
smoke of fires destroying millions of
property. Every paper in the hand
contains news OfpestiIence and famine,
as well as the most horrible murders.
Now that the Democratic party has
sold its birthright for less than a mess
of pottage, ] think we can get rid of
Grant. have an idea in my head,
Mr.. Greeley which, if properly carried
out, we can succeed. You know crime
goes mpunished, consequently there
Is no law. On examination of your
views on reasonable acts, where the
subject or subjects show signs of honest
conviction, and repent of their crimes.
it will be better to let them have all
the privileges they want. Now, sir. |
am going to put the question right
square to you: We have some twenty
thousand convicts in the United States
Some OF them are selfsupporting. bur
it Is heavy tax Oh the people. SOmc
are imprisoned for one thing. some for
another. Imyselt am placedin prison
for treating my patients differently
from my christian brother pr&etition-
ers. | have been suceessftllIeyer since
have been in prison, which | can
prove by Mr.. Watkins. You know
the most Of doctors give cmetics, but
| give injections. For this | am inl-
prisoned. Now, sir, want my liberty.
| am willing to quit giving injections.
know many will suffer, but feel a
little as st. Paul did: II by eating
meat my brother Is made to offend, |
will eat no more. Now, Mr.. Greeley,
what do you think OF the matter |?
What is done must be done speedily,
for 1t Is time | returned to prison or
the keeper will consign my earthly
robe to the tomb.
Well, Mr.. McCorl, | am heartily
glad that you manifest SO much inter
est in my welfare, for I'realize that
am in my dotage. If should fail in
this my strong desire to be President
of these United States, the country
would suffer. You know | have sent
for the Great Giantess, in order to i'm
prove the stock. Brigham Young's
offspring are all dwarfs. Susan b.
Anthony will have to have giant. ]
will telegraph Immediately to the Ma
tional Committee, and have them con-
vened forthwith, and lay the subject
before them, in a candid. solemn man
ner. for this Is not a subject to be tri-
fled with. ] know we shall succeed,
or the Good Being would never suffer
"a departed spirit to canvass these
United States, The Committee will
agree to send at once to the Governors
Of all the States asking them to turn
out all the criminals. We shall need
them to secure the spoils. They have
repented Of all their crimes and d gen
eral amnesty should be proclaimed.
The convicts all declare that their
crimes are nOtrsO great as the rebels of
the South. SO would say the S,wreme
Court, II 1t dared to, and 50 says the
word of God.
Well, hurry up Greeley, l must re-
turn to prison. will take a dispatch
to Governor Grover. / can manage
him easy, although | am deprieved Of
giving injections, except In cases of
great emergency. In his case will
first give an emetic. If that does not
have the desired effect. viii give q
powerful injection, which will cause