Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1872-03-21
Miscellaneous.

How to Test the Weight of Wall
Scale it.
The policies of the Washington are
liberal as to travel.
What relatives ought to make the
best pedestrians? Step-sons.
"A Story in Title-"Quick as Light
ming; or, the Chemists Journey: A tale
of nitro-glycerine."
"A dumb man recently went to law
with deaf man; the latter, of course,
was the deaf-endent.
Rhode Island is said to be the only
State which has followed the example of
Massachusetts, in making the ED OF Feb
ruary legal holiday.
If you want to talk heavy science
say "protoxyd of hydrogen" instead OF
"ice." 1t sounds bigger, and not one man
in thousand will know what you mean.
"A cannon recovered from the bed of
the Penobscot, after being submerged for
ninety years, was used to fire salute at
Bangor on Washington's birthday.
There was meeting of a farmers
club in Wilton, N. H., recently, when 231
farmers dined at one hotel, and not sin
gle glass of liquor was called for, and
only five cigars were sold.
"A Scotch young lady, in answer to
the question, "Do you remember Donald
Ferguson?" made the following dscrim-
mating reply: mo; recollect his face;
but don't recollect him by name"
Mamma to Naughty Boy)-You
should always behave the same, whether
you are in company or not Naughty
Boy-Well, ma, why don't you behave
the same as you do to company, and press
US to have another tart.
AS stout old lady got out of a
crowded omnibus in front of the Aston
House the other day, she exclaimed,
"Well, that's a relief, any how" To
which the driver, cycling her ample pro-
portions, replied, $50 the losses think,
num-"
DIR. Hayes, the Arctic explorer, an
nounces his belief, which agrees with
that of other recent travellers, that the in
terror of Greenland is covered with ice,
and he thinks it would be impossible to
cross the country from side to side.
"A little waif that was picked up in
New York street the other morning was
asked if he had mother, and replied /:
V dunno, but l guess not, for when
ran away this morning the old 'uns was
quarrelin', and father had the Ratchet"
An eccentric individual in Rhode
Island is printing verses of Scripture and
the Lords Prayer on the back of new
greenbacks. He thinks thereby to Sc
cure the circulation of sort of tracts
-" SUSIE" said teacher to one of her
pupils, "you shouldn't make faces
You'll grow up homely if you make faces. I"
Susie looked thoughtfully in the teachers
face moment, and then innocently asked,
Did you make faces when you was a
little girl ?"
The champion mean man who daily
passes over one of our most prominent
railroads, stands on the rear platform Of
the last car on the train in order to draw
the full benefit of the interest on his
money while the conductor is passing
through for the fares.
Leasing was occasionally so absent
minded that once he knocked at his own
door, when the servant, not recognizing
her master, looked out of the window
and said "The Professor is not at
home" ooh, very WE'LL" replied Les
sing, composedly walking away, Twill
cali again"
"A surgeon went to the side of an
ague patient in a military hospital, and
inquired how he felt. In the midst of a
shivering chill the reply was, "No-no-t a
bit better" II am sorry; but your
case is very peculiar one and hard to
get hold Of" said the surgeon, sympa-
thetically "Ye.es," said the shivering
soldier, "that's-thats SO th-th-th-e ca
case shakes so yo-yOu can't gi-get a hold.d
of Utah" He recovered.
The English fashion of weddings is
becoming popular in New York. The
bride is attended at church by six brides
maids, who walk in couples up the aisle,
there being no groomsmen. There are
also six ushers, who, after the ceremony,
take the place Of the groomsmen, and
conduct the bridesmaids from the church.
The bride walks up the aisle with her
father, and the groom waits for her at the
altar steps, having entered previously at
a side door.
One of the most reliable fashion i'm
porters of this city says that ladies'
dresses for spring wear are made up with
an Alexis polonaise, the waist of which
contains steel trap concealed by q
masked panier. When young gentle
man calls who is considered catch, and
or otherwise, places his arm
around the wearer's waist he hears q
4" click" and finds his arm caught. A
brother and lamp enters, and it is neck or
nothing with the victim.-Cleceland
Leader.
"A baggage-smasher at the Union
Depot in Indianapolis, while singing vari-
Gus articles about in his usual forcible
and vindictive style, suddenly reached the
conclusion that one particular valise was
filed with revolvers. As it struck the
floor after being tossed ten or fifteen feet.
an explosion occurred, and a ball whistled
in close proximity to the smasher's
head. He now handles all packages that
this one in any particular with
the greatest tenderness, but wreaks his
vengeance on Saratoga trunks.
The New York World says: at may
surprise some people to hear that there Is
in this city man who keeps boot and