Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-10-10
Varieties.


si.7gfn= Varieties. IL; rd oiJ
A GREEN grocer-One who trusts. 9i,nu
TA1LoR's revenge Giving q customer =
fits.
THE woman question par erceltence is
the question of age. = a. on 81 .oI'
and no captain2 Courtship. IFf,.4on ii
~ WHEN does. a COW become landed
property? WI en- turned into a held
GONE Of those things no fellow can u q
find out "A good husband after II on
p. No. 4f, 50 o+4 ,.g
IF topper and quart of whisky were
left together, which would be drunk u
first? loo.
If speech is silver, and-if silence is
gold, how much is aldeaf and dumb
man worth 2. .-,., -,.,;t,ft..y s,f. "a s.
Why would deaf adder, be good
collector of debts7 Because sheieould 2
stop arrears. YBIsehfaa " ue. a1il =
s al Dos'r remember ever having lseen
you before" as the lawyer said to his
conscience. IE90A -ef.i -~2OI3' -
s wHAr did the spider do when he
came out of the arkf BE took a Hyno
and went home.
WHY is the alphabet like cutting the
first teethT Because 1t is taught yer =
(torture) when young. - is i-osy sitt .,
Z, OLD maids, it is said ,aEe seldom found
in China, but rare old china is often
found among old maids.
A coUNTRYMAN saw the skeleton of a
donkey in a local museum. 4" How odd
we look without feship' he said. m
SUNDAY is the strongest day, because
all the rest are week days yet, if it is
the strongest, why is it so often brokenf
THE conductors of Chicago street cars
paste up notices that they cannot wait
for young ladies to kiss good-by when
they part. NFa y3lf osUA32d GiesH'
TIE MARQUIS of Butte is the principal t
owner of a new line of steamers from
Cardiff to New York. Will his sailors
be Butte Jacks? ffB }7aHja odi -
n Why is coal the most contradictory.
article known to commerce? Because,
when purchased, instead of going to the
buyer, it goes to the cellar. a-sa fri
QUERY: Can "stone.marten" be thrown
fur?, YNf the reader beTnot very fur,
bearing, he will say this is calculated
to undermine the Queen's EDglish.)-
World. 'so-.tsfe -tfoel 10 912Hsi ie
THE best definition of scandal ever p
given, according to Arthur Helps, was
| that of the little girl who described it
thus: g Nobody does nothing, and
everybody, goes on 5tfliIg telling il every
| where"
"Do BATS ever fly in the daytime2"
asked a teacher of his class in Natural
/ History. "Yes, sir,n the, boys replied.
"What kind of bats ?''- asked the aston
ished teacher. !" Brick-bats,' yelled the .
boys.
JEpED1AH iBARcHARD, once preaching
a revival sermon, was interrupted by
/ the entrance of Aaron Burr. Here
comes one.u ssid the revivalist, a'sagainst
/ whom, even will testify in the day of
1 ififty1 years of criminal practice 1 have
4 always found the great est rascais turn
States evidence"
A POOR but pious young man apollo
/ pized the other evening, while making
q call. for the muddiness of his boots,
/ saving he had not taken q carriage, but
| had "walked up with communicable
/ economy He was grieved when the
4 lovely being whom he adores inquired
| WHY he didn't task Mr.. Economy in"
SHORT. time back the question was
| asked, "Why do men narry?" The
following reply was not less. singular
than true: Some young men, marry Tor
dinples, some ears, some noses the
/ contest, however, generally lies between
the eyes and the hair The mouth
too,e is occasionally married, the chm
not so often.