davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

The late Elder John Smith, of
Kentucky, who died recently at an
advanced age, was one OF the most
eccentric wits south of the Ohio riv-
era true gentleman. He was ia
miliarly known throughout Kentucky
as tRaccoon Smith" While still in
the Baptist ministry, and attending
one of the annual meetings of that
body, tall, lank, green specimen of
humanity presented himself before
the association as candidate for the
ministry. He was not regarded as
being of entirely sound mind, and
labored under the hallucation that
he was especially "called to preach.
and kept constantly importuning the
association to grant him the necessary
license. In addition to his partially
unbalanced mind, young Meeks was
the possessor of as huge and un-
calmly pair of feet as ever trod shoe
leather. Tired of his opportunities,
and not being disposed to grant the
license, the association handed him
over to Smith, with instructions to
make an end of the case; and be-
tween them took place the following
conversation:
Smith-So Brother Meeks, you
think you have a special call to
preach?
Meeks-Yes, the Lord has called
me to the work, but the association
refuses me the license.
Smith-How do you know you are
called?
Meeks-Know it! / feel it in my
heart of hearts. want my license
Smith-Do you believe tie Bible,
Brother Meeks?
Meeks-Certainly I do-every word
of it.
Smith-If I can prove by the Bible
that you are not called to preach,
will you be satisfied to drop the mat
ter and not further importnne the
association for license?
Brother Meeks assented to this,
and Raccoon Smith deliberately
opened the New Testament at Ro-
mans X, Is, and in a grave tone
read: "How beautiful are the feet
of them who preach the Gospel of
peace,n etc. Then glancing at
Meeks' large fiat feet. he remarked:
.sYou see, Brother Meeks, that the
feet of the preacher are beautiful.
You, sir, have the most monstrously
ugly feet of any man in the State of
Kentucky; therefore. by this Bible,
| IL is clear Won have not been especial
| ly called.
As Smith finished his remarks, the
entire association went off in par
oxysm of laughter; and Meeks, real
ly concluding that he had not been
sscalled." bolted from the meeting
house, md never after annoyed the
association for license.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

Josh Billings advice to Youn g
Doctors:
Hire an offiss on the main street of
the village, and stay in the of1iss,
When you do go out, always 60
on the jump.
Don't never talk much on emmy
snbject, but always look MYSTERIOUS.
Seldom go to church, but when
you do, always leave befor the
church duz.
Charge everybody like thunder
and lightning.
il you pholler these rules closely,
and don't suckseed, yu kan KUN to
the konklusion that the doctring
buiznes amt as good as it waz last
year.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

ORIGIN OF THE KIss.-It is to
wine-drinklng we owe the origin Of the
kiss. After M@cenas caught his wife
sucking his finest wines through the
bunghole of the barrel with a straw,
the custom became general in Rome
for the husbands to kiss the lips OF
their wives that they might discover
the quality of their good ladies' stolen
libations, and Dato, the elder, recon-
mended this plan to the serious at
tentention of all careful heads of fam
lies.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16
Wholesale and Retail.
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

UHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fsily inform the citizens of Albany and vi
einity that he has taken charge of this Establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects to suit all
those who may favor him with their patronage.
Haring heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects to give entire satisfaction to all.
Children and Ladies' Hair neatly cut
and shampooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
v3n33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16
mo. monsieur

W. HoHSleuT.
"Thank you, that will do" he said,
darting tiger-like look at his wife.
"Jean," ho added, turning to his
confidential servant, "you will lot me
have my meals in Madame dc Mer.
ret's room; she is not we'll, and / will
not leave her until she has recovered"
The cruel husband remained TWEEN
ty days with his wife. AT first, when
awful sounds came from behind the
barricade, and Josephine made as If
she would implore for the stranger
dying there, he would not allow her
to utter a single word, but always
said:
"You have sworn upon the crucifix
that there is no one there"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

Thirty-seven thousand vessels con-
stitute the strength of the British
marine, which is more than all other
nations have together.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16
SOMETHING NEW IN DENTISTRY +!
DIR. e. o. SMITH, DENTIST.

HAS LOCATED IN ALBANY -
III and has the new invention QlfSz5zz<
in plate work, which consists in SIl1YYY
inserting teeth in the mouth without covering
the whole roof, as heretofore. It gives the
wearer the free use of the tongue to the roof of
the mouth IN talking and tasting. It is the
Smith & Purvine patent
Teeth extracted without pain. Plates
mended, whether broken or divided ofice
over TurrelPs Store. y7n45tf.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

A Connecticut matron, past sixty
years of age. is defended in divorce
suit brought by her liege lord on the
ground Of encouraging improper
attentions from gay gallant of 10
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

A live lizard has been found by
well-digger in New Market, Va,
twenty-five feet below the surface.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Business notices in the Local Columns, %
cents per line, each insertion
For legal and transient advertisements So so
per square Of IL lines, for the first insertion,
and 81 90 per square for each subsequent in
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-16

$4,000 more women than men in
the Bay State.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03
IynIInid Fever

Tyraoid fever Is the great aat0ma4i
ecourge of our country. Il attacks the
high aud the low. the rich aud the poor,
the resident o1 ibe country. village and
city. The family Of the moss humble
aud lowly seems uo more liable TO il than
the family Of the most exalted IN wealth
ana rank Ii has no more respect for the
royal family o. England than for the poor
est peasant household Prince Albert
fell a victim to it. and to-day the heir ap-
parent is prostratei under it. remorseless
grasp.
We may gaiu some idea II the vast
harvest Of sickness and death which this
reaper annually gathers, trom the follow
ing facts. 1t Is estimated that from l00,-
600 to l50,000 people annually suffer
from this disease in England alone
The oausation Of typhoid fever, though
long enyel1ped in obscurity, Is now well
known. Is Is one of the so-called " filth
diseases Of modern sanitary writer's It's
most ordinary exciting cause Is air or
drinking-water bcfouled with excremental
matter IL Is also quite certain that a
person suffering from this fever may him
self iufect the air Of his room or the
water which receives his cxcreta with
germs OF the disease 50 as to transmit It
to others 4 single case may thus be the
fruitful source of a wide spread epidemic
The facts illustrating the origin Of ty-
ph0id. from excrcmental matters in drink
ing water are now very numerous and very
instructive. Every experienced physician
can give striking examples occurring IN
der his own observation. Il not unfre-
quently happens that the actual source of
the disease Is very obscure, and can only
be discovered 10y the most persistent and
intelligent inquiry hut the scientific stu
dent is generally rewarded with complete
success. The following examples will IL
lustrate the methods of communicating
the fever
In small German settlement IN the
upper part of the city there was q severe
outbreak of dysentary and typhoid fever.
\ physician called u attend some Of the
cases, set to work TO find out the cause. On
inquiry a. to the water-supply, he was di-
rected to a spring on low ground in the
midst Of the settlement, SO situated as to
receive the surface drainage. The water
was pure and sparkling TO the sight and
the taste. and was loudly praised by the
owner Of the spring. A quantity put in
bottle and allowed 10 stand few hours
threw down thick sediment Of most Of
fensive matter The people ceased TO use
this water. and the epidemic ceased at
oDce
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03

Should drought come on, every drop can
be husbauded, and when the parched fields
demand it, water can be supplied in abund-
anee. Damaging frosts can be guarded
against by a sheet of flowing water spread
over the tender young plants at the critical
moment More than all, the fields are
maintained IN perpetual fertility, aud the
meadows made 20 yield annual crops of
grass BY a top.dressing of water.
The value of common spring or brook
water as a fertiIzing agent is not under
stood by our farmers. How many New
England farms are baked into Improbable
barrenness every summer with q valuable
brook running TO waste past the dusty
fields, The farmer bemoans the dry
weather, and lets the Wealth-bearing water
fow away uuaoticed. Many q now worth
less farm, IN tho hands of those Badeners
and BavariaEs, would sustain great droves
Of Alderneys and Sdo-taorns.
Irrigation alone can save many OF our
farms from total loss. It IS no longer
doubtful experiment simple spring water
s4s.l- su-1.i Enes5 BIsaea forest
s.rcJa- ass ..u- glus DuU JGey eacn sustain
whole square miles Of meadows. In east
ern New England We have plenty of water
running red and brown through our soil
and under our woods, that, spread in catch
water meadows would bear tons of grass,
where now the wild sorrel has g hard fight
to live Generally these life-giving brooks
flow past our farms and are lost in the sea,
while the farmer stands on their banks be-
moaning his bad luck and preparing to put
on another mortgage.-Cbarles Barnard
n Ereninq Post
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03

appointing power, reaching into ali perts oi
the country, and holding in suboFdination q
mulutudinous array Of office holders, shall b.
absolutely without motive Or inducement "a
employ It for any other purpose than the
public good; and
Whereas, TIC character OF Republican IN
stitutions requires that the Chief Magistrate
shall be above al suspicion of using the
machinery, oE which he is the official head
e. promote his own personal aims therefore.
be- II
Rsso.eed 5g the .>euale and Hoase o.. f5.p~s
SeHtatires. 'tc., That the following article Is
hereby proposed as an amendment TO the
Constitution Yl the L pited States, and when
ratified by the Legislatures of three fourtha
oi the several States. shall re valid to all in
tents and purposes, as part of the Cou-titu-
ton. o. Wit
ABuCLE -.
Sc No person who has once held the
Office Of President Of the United States shall
be thereafter eligible TO that office
SIC. 2.-Thjs amendment shall not take
effect until after the ith of March. 1873
Mr.. Sumner. 10 introducing this amend
msBt, said '' | STALL content myself wish q
brief remark. This i the era Of Civil Ser
vice Reform, and the President Of the litcd
1J-lJl-- message, nae already called our
attention 70 that i'm pOrtaut subieCt. and made
recommendations with reference to it. Il
may ~ remembered that hailed that mes
sage at once. A. It was read from the desk
! tDrbOrc then 70 state that missed enc i'm
pJTtant recommendation. very important
recommendation. one without which all the
other communications, ] fear, may be futile
missed a recommendation of an amendment
81 the Constitution, IN conformity with the
est prececenCs Of our history, and with the
recommendations Of illustriCus men. limiting
the person holding tho Office Of President to-
}ne term. sir. that is the initial point 0f
Jivll Service Reform. That is the first stage
n that great reform. The scheme Of the
President Is the play of Hamlet without
Hamlet I propose bg the amendment thai
offer 70 zee rhat Hamlet be brought INFO
be- play.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03
Irrigation IN German.

Ine trayelerou the Baden railway passes
between HsidelbeTz and Bazla q dairy
country almost unriTaled for beatty and
luxury Of pasturase. The dark wooded
mountains Of the Black forest on the one
side, and the Wide-spreading Rhine On the
other. the pretty village the vineyards
sn8 the vel kept farms, make q picture
that has been sung and painted for years.
Leaving the landscape to be described by
better pens. let me tell you something con-
cerninE the means by which these splendid
meadows have been kept in such goo3 con-
dition for 80 many years
From the ear window one sees THAI tue
fields are everywhere intersectei hy open
ditcboz. Not a deep, weedy. nois0me
ditch, in the English fashion, bus small
narrow troughs cut through the land. The
grass grows close Up 10 the edge. and
hangs ever the limPid stream Of water
flowing through 1t. Oceas- -onally larger
ditch or canal IS passed Most Of these
Water,calrses are full 0t clear running
water. Wherever the railway OF the fine
county roads pass these artificial brooks,
stone bridges are erected. At intervals
wooden dams Ok gates cross the bitches TO
control the flow or direct il 70 the various
fields. Al the water seems to he flowing
from the Black forest. westerly. toward
the Rhine.
The American traveller Al first sight iln-
agines that these constructions are made
for the purpose OF getting rid of the sur
plus water-dFainage. But why those
wooden gates everywhere ? 1t the chan
nels are TO convey the water away, Why re-
tard its flow ? A further inspection makes
il apparent that these extensive works are
for irrigation, not drainage; not TO get rid
of the water but TO save it, have these pa
tient Germans mapped out their country
with these miles of watercourses.
One Of the most striking features of
German scenery Is the absence Of trees.
Except on the mountains, woods, Ia an
American sense, there are none. Long
years ago the same blunders we are now
committing deprived the land OF its for
ests, dried up its springs and changed the
climate. Now the springs and brooks are
only 10 be found il the mountains. Water
has become an article of commercial value.
Every brook that flows from under the
shadow Of Black forest Is 4 private or
corporate property, IS chained up and
made 10 flow through these bitches. Very
little of the water reaches the Rhine
From the main canals II flows into smaller
ones then into the narrow troughs, aud
lastly spreads IN q thin sheet over the
grass in countless meadows. Everywhere
along It's course it IS tapped and turned
aside to flow over the farms. As it goes
1t is divided among many people, becoming
less and less until 1t is all consumed. The
wooden gates turn it aside, or act as dams
to cause il 10 overflow where the thirsty
grass greedily sucks it up.
Everything seems in perfect order and
ready for instant use. Should long rain
storms swell the streams, ample provisions
exist for the removal Of the surplus.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03

4 GREENLAND PARLIANENT.-In the
middle Of the one room, or hall, stood
plain pine table. with n plain bench on
either side of It, and on each bench sat six
narliamentari8ns. dressed in seal-skin
pantaloons aud boots, and Guernsey frocks,
across which there was a very large dis
play Of suspenderz Each parliamentarian
head was covered with 4 cap composed OF
the brightest kind of scarlet cloth, orna-
mented with a broad gilt-band. The roy
al emblems were embroidered in front, and
above these there was golden bear, with
a crown on his head, standing uncomforta-
bly, on his hind legs. TO typify Greenland.
There was a thirteenth cap at the head OF
the table and this was worn by Mr.. Anthem.
pastor of Julianashaab and president of
the Julianashaab parliament er ff0ci0.
The first business was IN form of peti-
tion fo4 relief. The petitioner stood there
in person, looking the very picture of for
lorn destitution. He stated that he had
lost his canoe (kayak.) and he produced
evidence enough TO show, without any
swearing, false or otherwise, that it had
been crushed and lost in the lee The man
who had hardly clothes on his back to
cover his nakedness showed further that he
had 8 wife and family who had no friends
to assist them, and we're entirely depend
ent on himself for support L thought it
doubtful support at best, and so appeared
to think the parliament for they voted an
order for certain daily allowance. The
next case was Of 4 young hunter, whose
kayak had been crushed by the ice, and
who had not the means to build new one
They voted him q loan. \ third case was
an old man. who received one dollar to buy
a spear with another was partly a loan
and partly gift to a man who had fam
lily Of girls and required materials for an
oomiak- Still another made application
for and received assistance to bury dead
husband.-H1rper,s Magazine
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03

. OWE blood. 10 IuJ EnUW nut ac spoke
kndlier than before when lac said,
4" Not tonight. Elsie: some other time. -
Saturday night came on, and though the
! subject was mentioned again, yet the few
+ seeds scattered that day by childish hands
were taking root in the cid mans heart, 70
spring up and bring forth fruit in due season.
Sunday saw the deacon, his wife and tile
Elsie IN their accustomed place for worship.
The church was pleasant country church,
built more for Ese than ornament, and the
good people Ia" w0Tshipcd there found II
more n their Js~se than the modern ones.
The pastor was an eyed man, who had held
out the bread Of life n the people there for
moro ruau twenty years, aud on that day. as
+ be stood before them with his white hair,
and t3ac hclmiBg with -derness. he looked
more ike zn aged e7atriarch Of the olden
timC- taau ike the sanity. sincere man he
vss.
iie sa3> lll a.s text these words 80 W haE
man + these oG you whom Ii his son ask
bread wiu he give him stone Or. if ne
1ss Gsh viii nc give him q scorpion 2''
In icrgcnt language he spoke CT Christ
lOra i7T Ills children. and how through th8s
loTc We U5Eht Sc s2F-d In simple language
hc c1-Eg red sde uste Igye with tue inrni-
tude OF Christ wonderful patience and long
suffering. and when he closed there were
M, - - f-....- -ff. ..-.--s5 L--s
- ,',-.-o - -, -.
Tue it7s ~ Ihe- sermon sne va 7elo W. "a
-. =. -. ~ ,NS-;.t g. ii',i--5 :
-, y,.-lt - ,3 - .t.-1e.' ~
.1-l- 80 - ~ -, :
little Ilick. ami his diving father
II. rae nome "-s l'e-s1l-- ~ "IcI. r-
l.',I 'el ~ lhey ~ !" vac ~. ~. ~.
1'5'''ii7 -, .'lN x ,|L-. -
= l--' ''S.- ~ pea anu -''Ns
~ y -'.'-' I -, s',oil-' p.'
~ 5.7 ~ ~ -'i-- ri. nh.
IL. go ~ ,',-.--'= -
s.o'-s 10 - ...-..-....
q. -. - -,
- - - .:...-4a.,
40 '''1t' '." , o- 49,
i-t u "-5.' 'i-sl--'E '--
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03


p Southern 8fdsazjne for December, gives
lildreu." She says:
Let us wrest from tue future the gueriou-
That to resolute purpose belong;
Let us fling from our spirits the burdens.
And quit us like men, and be strong!
bring you, compauiots, brothers
tAs largrss We dare not distGiu,
Ike Natures, that beautiful MOTHER.
Savannah- as smooth a. the main.
NJ valleys shall yYhiteu ali over
WIKI SHOWS never born Of the cold.
And grain, like i Midas, shaIl cover
Every slope that il touches with Coli.
The cliak OF the artissn's hammer
shall scare from the forest its gloom.
In the brake shall the water-fowrs clamo-
BE drowned hy the clash Of the looms.
TheH up from your torpor, ye sleeper
The dream ye are dreaming deceive
so fcr.h 70 the ields with Size reapcr5.
And garner tile prodigal steaycs.
Ni-h hocks gladden. meadow and noun. s..
With tinkling herds speckle each hal.
And blend with the niash OF the fountain
The rumble aud roar or the mill.
Brave heart cuat have welded the - i.s-.
s-4uuch spirits that stood 10y the gun,
Take heed % the Gospel of Labor.
The old dispensaton Is done'
fut hands 70 thc plOy~ cC crdCarcr.
Plant foot in the dcep-furrowed track
set face 10 the future and never
one wGvcring moment look back.
For none who de -pairiug'y center
Their thought on the by-gouc, aud rs5
The present sire fitted % enter
The On-cpmiI- kingdom Of man
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03

Capital and labor have still many unpccu
pied fields in California According to the
Sap Francisco Bulletin. tile State has import
ed in nine months more than Il 900 pack
ages of cheese: $4,000 cases Of boots !;
I64 900 boxes of candles 1900 firkins of
butter 1000 900 oranges $1,000, 600
hounds of sugar: thousands Of barrels of
whisky and even wine, raislns and hops in
LARGE Quantities Yet al the articles
mentioned can be produced thcre. Califor-
MIA ought to make her own cheese, her own
boots and shoes, have grown her own
oranges and have produced some sugar. No
country produces better hops, grain is super
abundan5, cott0n-growing Is q success, and
rho cranes are = glut0 On the market. These
faots suggest Q pretty good field forenterprise
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1872-01-03
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

For oHeEsquaTe of u lines or less of NOnpsre
= pe, one insertion, S10O; Tor eacn suesequent ~
sertlon > cents. Unless the number of insertions
are marked ON the advertisement it VIII be continue
tlll ordered ont. Liberal discount made 70 mer
chants and others advertising by the year.
Probate and Commissioners Notices 600 each.
Ter notices of Liberations, Estrays, the ForTna-
ton and Dissolution OF Copartnershps, &c, S15e
each, Tor three insertions. If sent by Mail tn
money must accompany the letter.
Notices IN news columns, 10 cents per line each
lhSefnon' cut no charge made OF less tn II so cents
Notices Of Deaths and Marriages inserted gratis,
but extended Obituary Notices or Poetry will be
charged At the rate of i've cents per line.