Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-03-12
4 uOuNTINe TWESTY.FivRsN
How the wifo OF y Uuc,I EdirOr
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From the Utica Herald
found the pleasant face of Maria Ann
wreathed in smiles, the other ev ening,
when1 returned from my arduous daily
toll. j am engaged as standing msn at
saloon. So many candidates are ts-eRt-
ing, that the saloon keeper hires sias OF
us to be treated. We all drink with
every candidate who comes in, and il
makes business pretty brisk.
SaidEmy chosen one, Joshua, l am
afraid you do not always find me an,
angel in disposition 4no 81
Said /, That's so-hic-my dear, /
don't seldom find you nangel in--in
anything <. TIA lH'EHB8aA awe
"And," she added you are not al
ways the most pleasant man in the
world"
| did not feel called on to reply.
u Now, said he, read that3hf@eR0
/ She had cut an item from the columns
of some paper wherein demented wr-
ter told about some impossible woman
who being troubled with a bad temper
counted twenty-five every time she got
provoked and thus became d sweet, ami
able and dearly loved ornam ent Of the
house Of her delighted husband. / read
the article as we'll as the co ndition of my
head would allow, and remS .rked, "Bosh. "
+, Maria, Ann paid no sctention to me,
but unfolded her plan. 81 le said that every
time / got mad shou i'd count twenty
five, and every time che got mad she
would count twenty five | asked her
who she thought Would pay our rent
while we sat and counted twenty-five,
over and over all day long. Then she
said | was always raising objectionstto
her plans for Our mutual improvement,
and | said ! was not, and she said l was
enough to try the patience Of a saint,
and | said she was too, and she came
for me, and i told, her to count twenty
FIVE; Tut she forgot all about that and
just tailed one in my left eye
Then Yves going TO demonstrate with
the poker, and she told me TO count
twenty-five, and l said / would not; but
| did before she had pulled more than
half my hair outa Then she made me
count twenty-five over and over, u ntil |
was out Of breath and felt real pie. lsant
and good-natured. So we went to sup
per. Now, the cat was curled mp IN my
chair, but | did not see il until / sat
down; and did, not see it8then, but !
was pretty sure 1t was there, in fact 1
knew twas there as well as ] want ed to,
and more too. / felt inclined TO rise up
suddenly, but as l gathered 10 spring she
brandished the teapot and murm ured:
Joshua, your temper is rising; count
twenty-five or I'll break your hoad, and
that cat twas drawing map, of the
Tenth ward with her claws aroand be-
hind me, with the streets and boun' iarles
marked in my blood, Irose to ex plain,
and SAID, MY dear--I=- "sbut she car
omed on my head with well-shot tea
cup, and sprinkled my face with a quart
of hot tea, and i sat down and counted
twenty-fye, but It killed the cat. The
old fellow died hard, Though. could
feel him settle as his nine lives went out
one by one. - - s.-.
A few days practice Of tf.is rule, un-
der the loving instruction Of Maria Ann,
has enabled me to conquer my temper
completely. Nobody can get me mad
now; am in a state Of perpetual calm,
and j want to see the man who wrote
that story want to fit him for the
hands Of an undertaken, and make de-
mand for mourning goods among his.
friends. Then | can de- counting TWEEN
ty-fve. 1f e. '1r ...-sF f0ust faK