Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1872-08-24
LEARNING TO SMOKE.

he never can become man without first
becoming fumigated bipcd. But don't
use my name," he cnjoined. And I don't
intend to. I will call him Smythe.
Bob-I mean Smythe-smoked his 6rst
cigar when he was Of very tender age.
One of the FIRST moral lessons instilled into
his youthful miud by loving parent was
about never putting off till tomorrow Whist
can be done to-day. So, when three 6f
his companions, on Saturday afternoon sug-
gested that they learn to smoke.
Bob-Smythc-saw at once that it
would be worse than folly to defer until
Sunday.
There were four of thcm-Jim, Bill,
Joe and B-Smythe.
(I wish 1 hadn't promised Bob not to
mention his name, because I expect l will
get it in the piece before it is inished.)
Bill was the happy poscssor Of a cent,
and, starting off to tobacco foundry, he
soon returned with four cigars Pennies
were much larger in those days, you know,
than latterly.
care they sixcrs?" asked Joe.
"No," replied Bill, "I guess they're
fourners. got four for cent, anyhow"
Then each lad took cigar, mounted a
fence under the shade of cherry tree, q
light was passed around, and.
They smoked.
The robbins sang merrily in the tree
the lambs skipped and gambolcd in an ad-
jacent meadow, and
They smoked.
The suns scorching rays caused drops
of pcrspration to oozc from the honest
brow of the husbandlnan toiling in a neigh
boring field, whilst the measured strokes
of his swinging scythe fell gently upon
the ear, and
Smythe didn't smoke.
He had consumed only about one inch
of his cigar, when his countenanco sud-
denly grew pale, as if he had seen ghost
or something, and he looked very much
discouraged, just as if he would rather stop
wrestling with that cigar, and lie down
spell.
"Thcrc you have dropped your cigar"
said Bill.
"It's out"
=" Come and get another light"
"No," said Bob Ph-Smy,hc, "I'll save
this till Tomorrow" picking up the
stump" " l must &c home now"
But he didn't 90 home. He was fear
ful lest the smell of tobacco smoke would
unfold compulsory strap with which his
mother sometimes vaccnated him.
He was sick-that's what allied him.
The penny that purchased the cigar must
have been bad one He felt, he said. as
if he had swallowed live lobster, and it
was trying to 6nd its way out. He stag
gcred down to the rivers brink and crawlcd
under some alder bushes
Ever and anon a boatman on the oppo-
site side of the stream would yell " heavc
toow n
And the young smokest "hcavcd."
Smythe thought maybe he was going to
make subject for funeral, and wondered
how long his body would remein in the
bushes before it was discovered. Then he
thought great many things and great
many things he didn't think of. At last
he managed to get upon his feet and start
ed for home-6rst taking the half cigar
from his pocket and hurliug it into the
river. ..t
On entering the door his strength failed
him, and he fell to the floor, exclaiming,
" l am sick J"
"What made you sick ?" asked his
mother, running to him.
"I don't know. Maybe it was some
green apples l eat"
He was put to bed and doctor sum.
moued. When he arrived he felt Bob's
pulse and told him to put out his tongue
=" What is the matter with him, Doctor 7"
auxiously asked his mother.
"Nothing serious. He's been smoking
a cigar"
When this announcement was made,
Bob-Smythe, / meau,-said he felt as if
it would have done him heap Of good if
he could have died right away. And this
feeling was augmented when his mother
ominously remarked 4" Smoking a cigar
-eh? I'll smoke him when he gets bet.
ter, tho young scamp"
And she did. She just brought into
requisition that compulsory vaccination
strap, and made Bob promise that he
would never smoke one Of those disgusting
things again as long as he lived.
The lesson was q severe one, aud Bob
never forgot it. He has not smoked ga
common" cigar since. He pays five and
ten cents apiece for 'em now. He says
they are not so disgusting.
Yours, B. DADD.
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