Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-08-09
TadpOles.
BY Josh BILLINGS.

ONE ov the hardest men in the world
tew collekt det ov IL the one who IL
alwuss willing tew pay, but never reddy.
Trew liberty konsistS in making good
laws, and then obeying them.
| suppoZe we never shall knO in this
life how big phool a man kan be, be-
kause he IL not allowed tew hav all his
wants and vanitys gratified.
Thare il plenty ov happiness in this
life if we only knu it; and one way tew
find it il, when we hav got the old rumatiz
tew thank Heaven that it amt the old
gout.
The man who kan live in idleness sue.
cessfully, must either be too pure or too
lazy to commit emmy sin.
Poetri is diseaZe common tew all the
literati; sum hav it quite hard, but most
hav it dredful lite.
Inkredulity IL the wisdum ov phOol;
it IL only wize man who kan afford tcw
be credulous.
Prejudice IL a hous plant which IL very
apt tew wither if yu take it out doors
amungst pholks.
The devil holds poor kards, but he
plays them mighty well.
Ihav noticed this difference between
people-thare is some who are not az big
phools as they look.
| hav seen pholks so melancholy and so
gloomy that they wouldn't admit thare
waZ brite side tew ennything in this
world, not even tew nu haff dollar.
If wit forms the blade, good sense
should be the handle, and benevolence the
skabbard of the sword.
Experience il knowledge, and it will
stik by phellow like the money he gifts
bi hard knoXs.
| never hav seen bigot yet but what
had a small and apparently branches he'd
but hain't seen all the bigots, yu
know.
Thare IL no revenge so komplete az for
giveness.
He that desires tew be ritch only tew
be charitable, IL not only wize man, but
a good one.
Crate welth, in our journey thru life, il
only extra baggage, and wants heap ov
watching.
The malice ov the world amt haff so
dangerous az its tiatterys.
Trieing tew satisfy our desires with
wealth IL like trieing tew stop up a rat
hole with sand-the rats will soon dig
out sum WHARF else.
A piece of satire, tew be beneficial,
should be so rendered that every man
who reads, or hears it, shall say to him
self, THAT IL just bekause it hits every
boldly but me-"
Skandle IL az ketching az the small pOx,
and perhaps there is but one real preyen.
tatIve, and that iz-tew be vacksinated
with deaf and dumbness.
Really wize men pay but little atten-
shun to misterys, but one good mistery
will furnish dozen phools with vittles
and drink for a year, and fat the whole ov
them besides.
We are all ov us too apt tew judge ov a
sin by its size We will pass 10 cent
counterfeit shin plaster, when we would
shudder at 10 dollar bill.
My friend haz got hiz phailings, and
that IL one thing that makes me like him
so mutch.
Affeckshun IL vine full ov tendrils,
and if VII don't phurnish it sumthing bet
ter tew climb, it will phurnish itself sum
thing wuss; this ackounts for its running
after sore'eyed lap dogs and sick mon
keys.
Poverty Is the step mother ov genius.
Beware ov the man who makes still
noize when he walks, and who purrs
when he talks he IL a kat in disguise.
1t is now 30 years ago since aphellow
WIN EtSOu BoSBlVs VII anu MHll0 hoCh
tie, offered tew sell me sumthing for 5C
cents which he sed wuz worth dollars
I've forgot what it wuz, but remember
it wuz IA beat and az often as once a year
ever since ] have tried the same thing
over, and got beat every time.
When shame leaves man, the kandlC
goes out, and hiz soul gropes its way in
the dark, a slave tew mean and brutal pas
shuns.
Civilizashun haz made justiss one NV
the luxurys, for which we hav tew pay
the highest price.