Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-01-29
Written for the Monitor.
MONEY.

You ask what money IL do? well, opine
That you suggest what's no concern of mine.
A Judge unbiased say ], to begin it,
For I've no principal nor interest in it.
Yet, notwithstanding none falls to my lot
I'll tell you what twill do and what twill not.
Twill give you fame and socalled reputation,
Raise your ideas-'tis famous for imitation
Twill give you place, celebrity, renOwn
And make ruler of the verest clown.
Twill build you splendid houses; purchase land
For the foundation-tho' it be of sand;
Buy equipage, emblaZon coats of arms;
No earthly power stand its glittering charms.
Justice grows blind when dazzled with its power
Twill make black white, heat eold and sweet turn
Twill buy in church softly cushioned pew
Where one sit and sleep the sermon through
And though it is not strictly orthodoxy
The parson will absOve your sins by proxy;
For often times-and no one can deny
1t buys a seat in church. but not on Hlgh
'Tis at the legal bar, in strength tower,
While at the final bar it has power
And, at the end twill not prolonS your breath,
Nor for moment stay the arm OF DEATH
Johnny Mcguire. whose father lost his life
While at the front engaged in deadly STRIFE
Saw his poor mother and sister dcar
Freezing and starving with no succor near;
And did what when of legal terms divested,
Means stole loaf Of bread, and was arrested
And taken to the lookup, thence to trial,
And pleaded guty-makng no denial
The judge awOke and mumbled to the clerk
Who said "Ten dollars fine and leave to work
Around the institution til it's paid
As Johnny had no stamps of course he stad
Full many weary month from his mother
And sister, too, who dearly loved her brother
Had John Mcguire by nature been villain,
| He'd never stole thing not worth shilling.
| If he had only robbed the Orleans Bank
| He'd be a cracksman of superior rank,
! And dictate terms to those he had wronged,
| Making defence with what to them belonged.
| Then he could hold communion with detectives,
| And laughing let the owners had invectives
| He'd make pretensions to divide the pelf,
Determined, though, to keep it all himself
IT'S money by which many a suit is won
Ts that which makes the female nag to run.
1t helps to find a wife for many beau,
And rice you all must Know.
Almra Jenkins with one eye askew,
Was unmolested up to forty two,
When by providentia dispensation
She got fortune from a near relation.
| Them swarmed the sutors every sort and size,
Each one intent on bearing off the prize
| They came in carts and every sort of carriege
| All with a single purpOse-that of marriage.
| They so fast she called on the police
| And bound them one and all to keep the peace.
| Her father then addressed the swaying crowd
And told them that Almira felt quite proud
| OF seeing such admirers; and he said
| She'd made her will which he proposed to read.
| THE will! the will!' the anxious lovers cried!
30, what splendid, lovely, charming BRIDE
| Her father said his daughter bade him say
! That she would wed one who would longest stay,
After the will was read. agreed" cried all;
And then they sung I'VE won't 90 home till fall
| The win was thus: 81 give without condition,
| My fortune to the worthy foreign mission"
Right about face the crowd their coat tails showing
| ''lhey stood not on the order OF their gong
But went full speed and every fast
| As he could get along and not be last.
! These but samples. 1 could tell you more
| If had space. l know at least, score,
| Showing how potent money is Refuse
| 1t not however, for it's good to use.
But use it you should, Twill give relief
And often times asssage some born ones grief
And mitigate the SORROWS of some poor
| Deluded outcast knocking at your door.
| Get what you do get fairly If you love it,
Remember the commandment, "Do not covet."
PAUL.