Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-10-25
HunOr.

Cloth for Baker-Dough-skin.
Natures tailoring-A potato patch.
A regular Upstart-The balioonst
A bad place to get out at-the elbow.
weight for the wagon as the fat lady
sang.
The place for picnic-The Sandwich
Islands,
When is it right to take one in? When
it rains.
Rations not wanted in the Army-Adul.
terations.
The happy medium Gentleman between
two ladies'.
When is charity like bee? When it
begins to hum.
A ''free agent -One who goes off with
his masters cash.
The doctors work fills six feet Of ground
but the dentists fills an acher.
To make thin man look fat, call after
him, and he will then look round.
Why is mans life safest ia the last
stages of dyspepsia Because he can't d.
gest them.
A beautiful woman, said Fentenele, is
the purgatory Of the purse and the paradise
Of the eye.
What is the difference between fixed stars
and shooting stars? A. The one are suns
- the other darters.
An old wine bibhe- says than an empty
champagne bottle is like an orphan, because
it las lost its pop.
Has DIR. --- much practice now p
80 yes, assisted in laying out three of his
patients last week.
Why is the paint for ladies faces like
fddler's rosin ? They are both used TO aid
in drawing beau.
Is it not contradiction in terms to as
sumo that man is bent on his purpose when
be goes straight to it
.'Have you heard my last speech asked
political haranguer of wit. Il sincere.
ly hope So" was the reply.
James R. Mann and Maria Little figure
in recent lists Of Rhode Island marriages..
"Mann wants Little here below"
An Eastern clerk has such an intensive
dread of Cholera morbus that he will not
kiss woman whose lips are not ripe.
What is the difference between hill and
pill? One is something hard to get up,
and the other is often hard to get down.
There are many people who not only be-
lieve that this world revolves on its axis,
but they believe that they are the axis
Men often criticise girls figures; but
when girl has few thousand of her own,
they generally think the figure about right.
The married ladies Of Hannibal have or
ganized "Come Home Husband Club"
Broomsticks figure among the inducements
to come.
"How one thing brings up another" said
lady. absorbed in pleasing retrospection.
EYES," replied the practical Dibbs can
emetic for instance"
A lady asked an uptown gentleman, who
was suffering from influenza. ''My dear sir,
what do you use for cold p Give hand
kerchiefs day, madam
A correspondent of Maine paper wants
to know some remedy for striped bugs. We
should suppose the remedy depended very
much on what ais the bugs.
Said very old man, "some folks are al.
ways complaining about the weather, but
sm always thankful when wake up in the
morning and find any weather at all
A Western paper chronicles the hanging
of a horse thief, thus: ''Mr. Jim Clemens
ton, equine aoductor, of Minnesota, was
lately the victim of necktie sociable"
they are saying all sorts of cruel things
about the intelligent mosquito, but no one
has as yet accused him Of being fool enough
to fill kerosene lamp while it was lighted.
A Western girl who had been we'll brought
up, knocks down every man that kisses her.
and she is SO pretty that half the married
and all the single men in town have black
eyes,
The enterprising individual who is organ
izing brass band Of twenty women So Us if
they learn half as many ''airs" as they put
on the experiment cannot fail of being a
success.
A Washington correspondent asks:
"Why doeth the little busy bee