The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1872-06-14
Miscellaneous.
DISAPPOINTING A LANDLORD.

a landlord by the name of Screwler
had managed to have the stage stop at
his house for the passengers to dine, by
allowing the driver, Lewis, a tip a head
for each dinner eaten, and the assurance
that Lewis grOg should not cost him
from Parker's where the passengers had
! formerly dined, and they did not reach
it till half past three, the landlord dis.
| covered that, what with the per cen tage
10 Lewis, and the keen appeties of the
passengers, who had tasted nothing
from six o'clock, he was "advanciug
backwards" instead of improving his
purse by the operation.
The tWO Worthies held a consultation,
in Whichit was agreed that Lewis should
be behind his time in arriving and the
landlord late with his dinner, so that as
soon - they had fairly commenced OPP
| eratiou5 the horn should be blown and
| the passengers hurried off on the plea
that the stage could wait no longer.
This game was played for some time
with success; the hungry passengers
grumblcd and scolded Lew for an hour
or 20 each day but he pocketed the fps
and laughed in his sleeve.
II happened about this time, that as
the grumbling passengers were about
leaving Parkcr's the old dining house,
Il stout, hGarty-lOoking man, comforta-
bly, dressed, presented himself at the
coach door and took a vacant place on
the middle seal. .-Ther were three ladies
on the back seat, three men on the front
seat, and now, that an additional pas
sengcr had been taken in, three on the
middle seat, making it full stage load.
The new passenger was quite chatty
and sOciable, and well acquainted with
mon and things, and full of anecdote.
He proved quite an agreeable cOmpan,
ion. But even his versatility and good
nature failed to interest his fellow
sufferers long. Hunger was too keen.
At last Screwler's fifth-rate house was
gained, and aftera long and tantalizing
delay dinner was announced. The gen.
tlemen with ladies had barely found
time to help them, and then got clever
going themselves to the tune of the
fork, when .too,toO- oto OPP rang
| the drivers horn at the door of the
dining-room, followed by his loud
"Coach right Off, gentlemen Take
your seats, quick"
Up sprang the passengers and scram
bled of, some swearing and some toe
much under the fear of being left behind
to think of anything else but gettingin
E side the stage.
+ But there was one among them who
: was so much engaged that he did no
o seem to hear or see anything ofall thi!
until another blast rang into the dool
and the landlord, Screwler, touched hin
on the shoulder, with
f; "The stage is going, sir"
"But I've not half finished my dinner
YETI returned the passenger, who prov
ed to be the one taken in at Parker
looking up in surprise and sputterini
forth portions Of food from his well'till
Q ed mouth as he spoke.
"rmsorry for that sir, ,"returned Screw
- Ter, blandly. "But | can't help it. Th
driver viii be Off in moment. lie i
behind his time now, and must be in b.
q certain hour, or he will be discharg
ed"
e "Too.t .too-toO tOo.o-o.o" screamed tn
!, horn, louder than usual, followed by
: "All.on, board!" from the driver, VIII
!, instantly disappeared.
t "He's getting on his box now, sil
!. and will start in moment" urged tn
landlord.
- "And pve paid for my dinners To
bad, too bad Well, hand me back m
money; / never pay for what do ne
receive"
81 can't do that, sir. Sorry for you
but the fault is not mine. My dinnC
has been all prepared, and you're we
al come to eat it,"
AS matters were thus pressing, II
in passenger did not stop long to parley.-
Drawing from his pocket clean whit
ho,JIyorokinf nnatIy col1nI og n had Ia