The Portland daily press., 1872-06-24
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE.
THE PR ESS.

1AApAO &YsOU
THE PRESS.
MONDAY MORNING, JUNE "a, 1879.
News, Gossip and Editorial Notes.
By all means drink imported liquors if YOU
want them pure. An analysis of whisky in
Belfast, Ireland, recently disclosed the fact
that it was adulterated with naphtha, cav.
enne pepper and yitriol
A Detroit woman struck by lightning shout.
ed for the police.
A would-be author was advised 10 try the
effect Of one Of his compositions upon the
folks at home without eonfessing is author.
ship His mother fell asleep, his sister groan-
ed, his brother asked him 10 hold mp a. they
had had quite enough Of that shower of words
without wit, and at last his wife tapped him
upon the shoulder with the sweetest possible
won't that dog'' He then saw how a VA.
himself burned his portfolio, recovered his
appetite, and has been a happy man ever
since.
One Of those jealous western papers saws
that the intelligent graduate Of Massaehu-
sets school told the examiner that s.Esop
was the author of Latin fables, covered with
hair, and sold his birthright for mess Of pot
ash"
DIR. Doan, of Idaho, for selling fire-water 10
the Indians has been put in the penitentiary.
where he Doan-t do so any more.-Boston
Post.
The saengeriest at st. Louis was such
lagerfest that it caused a beer famine in the
city.
Among the ludicrous incidents of the Bos-
ton Jubilee was the mistake of a member
Of the Executive Committee, who, presuming
that the servant of Herr Strauss, with his
gold-laced hat and knee-breeches, was a Turk
ish naval officer, busted himself for an hour in
endeayoring to get up an official reception for
his supposed Excellency.
Victor Hugo says: "The devil has been ca
Illuminated. He did not seduce Eve: she
tempted him. Woman commenced it. Luz
clier was passing peacably by Paradise. He
saw Eve and became Satan"
At the biennial festival of the London Hos
pltal for Throat Diseases Miss Kate Field re-
sponded to the toast "The Ladies,'' it is said.
in handsome manner.
The lack of pecuniary success attending
the Boston noise annoys Mr.. Gilmore all the
more because he is still assured that the ,Jubi-
lee was organized on a sound basis.-N. Y.
World. l3A
An Illinois lady of Celtic descent lately
blew down into the chimney of kerosene
lamp and the lamp blew back again and
Bridget Monahan is no more.
Jenny Lind's eldest daughter, young la
dy of nineteen, is said to possess as magnifi-
cent voice as her celebrated mother.
The restoration of Mr. Joseph Jefferson's
sight is now considered as a certainty.
Advertisement for versatile youth. Dra-
perry Trade-Wanted, young man to be
partly outdoor and partly behind the coun-
ter.
The Macon Telegraph hopes, if they ever
get Livingstone out of Africa, that they will
put him in irons and keep him out
Another pre-Adamite man has been un-
earthed. The mysterious feature of these
discoveries is that no pre-Adamite woman
has ever been found.
20, my dear, there is most lovely set
pin, earrings, and sleeve buttons. Do go buy
them" 'Yes, my dear, I mean to go by
them as fast as possible
The Racine (Wisconsin) Adcocate saws
that if time is money, there are a great many
men in that town in very easy circumstances.
They seem to have great deal of time ON
their hands that they don't know what to do
with.
Justin Mccarthy has had an interview with
Madame Taglioni, a great danseuse in her
day-halfa a century since. The lady is liv-
ing in London, and is nearly seventy years
old.
One night trombone player wished to be
absent from the orchestra, and as there was
another trombone, instead of asking leave of
the conductor he resorted to the expedient
OF getting friend to go in and take his seat.
watch the other trombone" said he to
his friend-''puff out your cheeks well, and
keep your fingers active, look alive and you
will pass muster" All went well until a
passage for two trombones was reached. Not
sound from the instruments! 1t turned
out that both trombone players had resorted
to the same ruse..
A disappointed youth in Oregon recently
ventured to bring an action for breach of
promise against lady. She pleaded that
when their engagement was broken off she
presented him with $12.50 and a bottle OF
cologne as compensation for the loss of her
affections. The jury decided that this was
qnite sufficient, and gave verdict for the
lady.
The Empress Eugenie has been suffering
for some time past from painful infamma-
ton of the facial glands. Her physicians
think she will have to undergo an operation
that may disfigure her counternance for life.
'The artificial earthquake of melody is
theway the Philadelphia Inquirer speaks of
the Jubilee.
The French Government has offered re-
ward for the five missing pieces of the Ven