The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1872-12-05
VARIETIES.

The children's kinKdcn-Lap-and.
Uunspoken dialsct-The language Of the eye.
What is Oren found where it is not Fault.
An Undesirable circle-A circle Of acquaintaness
The bump Of dsstructivensss"-A railway col.
IiSlon.
An Essay ON Mana wonan's attempt TO marry
aim.
A true religious instirct never deprived q man
a single JOY.
TO a-cersAin the weight OF . hsrsO, pat your toe
nader his foot.
The s~ipdler's Early MOrninE Aspiration--Lst
Rs bsgup snd doing"
gwhen is an army like tuck in lady's skirt ?
WA0n 1t il hemmed In.
Physic is the art OF amusing the patient while
AGture cures the disease.
A matchmaker says he passes a great many
"Springs" every year in his shop
Why "a good revolutions like fAiRting ladies
because they want carrying ont.
why is phianthrOpist like an old horss' Be
cause he always BtOps at the sound OF woe.
Queen Victoria is said to bs1hs only s-ssreisn
that ever went into Scotland and got o, again.
''wanted says country paper, young ladies'.
who can and viii play at eroquet without cheat
Tag"
The following advertisement appears in local
paper ITO Let, q house family in good re-
pAirs,"
s'It ia sin to steal pin,' ana nan has heen
arrested for that very ofTenss. The pin has diA-
mond attached to It,
man who works for living should Rarry q
woman taller than himself The Iahourer is
worthy Of his higher"
WoB-It 10 only through woe we are taught TO
ref ect. and We gathe. the honey Of worldly wis
dam not from flowers. bat thorus. 8
City men of an oInithological turn, have won
Asrcd that birds are rot melancholy in the morn
ing as their little bills then all lover dew y
4 law of Pennsylvania makes the taking of
mOuey at the door OF q theatre on sunday illegal,
wherefore it Is invariably taken at the window.
"TAe brooches would have been sent, but have
been unwell" was the wording note OF apology
sent 10 the late Dean Alfera BY his jsw~ller.
There is a notification in a shop wi ndow in Lon.
don which, in the most entlclng manner, invites
Rassers by to enter and partAke oi"Rise PndeR. -
A country paper Gays: "our early peas came up
tbis ,pring two days after they were planted.
Anyhody's will If they let the hens run in the
garden
poor young man remarks that the only advice
ne gets fr IN capitalists is to ''live vita his In
come" whereas the difficulty he experiences is 10
dive without an income
When you have lost money In the streets every
aae il ready to help you lock Z It i: bu. when
you nave lost your character every one leaves you
to recover T. as you can
A New York Magistrate settled case, in which
arOwdy had committed ga assault with a revo ser'
by committing the rOwdy and ordering the pistol
to be discharged.
man who has invented new receipt for clean
ing clio hes, parades 1t on his advertisement un.
der the standing head Of Every Man his Own
WasherwUman.''
a colored gentleman in Texas with his coat.
tail pocket fuil of powder, lately visited black
amith'rshOp. He went in through the door, but
asft a hole in the roof when be wen. out.
LIKE ToP.-A man much addicted TO snoring
remarked 10 his bedfeIlow In the morning that he
slept like top" II know It," said the other ;
''likea humming top"
persop once remarked to Curran that no one
ought TO be sdmitted 10 the bar who did not pos,
stss certain npmber Of acres Of land PRAY"
said Cunan, " how many acres make wieeacreg ,"
An old Judge, after hearing a nowery discourse
from pretentons young harrirtsr advired him to
pluck ont some ofthe feathers from the wings OF
his Imagination and put them into the tail OF bis
fragment
There is man ont West who says he renewed
40 many dartng one year that, whenever a covered
WACO" stopped at the gate, his chickens would fall
On ihelr backs and hold up their feet, in order to
&c thrown in.
shoot cannon bail against a column of smoke.
aho u 'ha'iers the column, but only for an in.
"u"' l. "hen II reuLites. So it is with death 1t
da''VeS the theory we cali lie for second. IN
ne reunited elsewhere for ever
lite boy put q lighted match into a nearly
empty powder keg TO see what would hapnen ne
W1n mol do 40 again, as his curiosity is ssti.nad
NJ ne girl who sits next to him in school thinks
he orked rerter with his nose on.
Yankee lad was ob.erved intentlv watcb,no
for w0O"chuck to come out of his hole "no
you tuppOSe you can catCh him :" ask ed a pa ser
ny "ta'ch him ~ cohtepp uoEsly asked the
boy I've got TO catch him, stranger We are
out OF meat"
Moore IN his diary, tells the story Of an ambass
ador 20 the King Of Naples who fearing that he
ahauld forpeL The nns.rh he ,uaa IN ali..