The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1872-08-24
A Pretty Good Story.


and on long street-almost road
leading there from to the country, dwclls
an apothecary, very tall and remarka-
big slender pcrson-so thin, in fact,
that one would suppose he fed exclusive
ly on his own professional mixtures
No tailor dare venture to cut coat or
any other garment in any way approach
ing snug fit to his person, for fear of
having the work returned on his hands,
and in that case they would fit nobody
else
And yet, with this extraordinary
paucity of flesh, there was great sup
ply of humor in our hero he was ex-
travagantly fond of practical jokes, and
practised them freely, when occasion and
opportunity offered. He had an clcc-
trio machine secluded from sight, and
when any lazy person sauntered into his
shop, and venturcd to indulge in nap
or lounge, ne was sure to be shocked into
activity, and and pushed off. He was
great advocate for temperance, and yet
was ready to furnish gratis brimming
glass of any sort of liquor customer,
might fancy; his liquor was found inva-
riably to produce more nausea than any
other sensation.
But contrivancc which afforded him
most merriment was skeleton of full
grown person in a closet of easy access
in his shop. This skeleton was placed
erect on platform which ran on smooth
wheels; and whcn the door was opened,
this platform was pulled forward by an
unseen thin wire or string, which con-
nected it with the boiling of the closet
door There were also similar wires,
fastened to the wall behind the skeleton,
and passing over each shouldcr-bone
were attached to the bones of the wrist
Consequently, when the closet door was
opened, the platform on which the skele-
ton stood not only advanced, but both
arms and hands were lifted upwardl
If any Intoxicated, noisy, boisterous,
or impudcnt fellow came into his shop,
the apothecary would manage in some
way TO lead him to open that door; and
it rarely failed Gas he used to say) "to
t. ke the liquor and the spunk ont of
him, He had two or three apprentced
lads i'll his employ, who naturally relish
cd these jokes, and practiced them, with
his full consent, when lie might be alb
sent.
One day during his temporary abscence
sailor came drifting along occasion.
ally stopping and dancing a jig aud
singing, to the great merrimcnt Of a ga ~
of boys who followed and surrounded
him. He was just drunk enough to play
the fool, but not too drunk to navigate
lie eventually brought up at the door of
cur apothccary, and brlcius himself in
the door way, yelled out:
"Hellow, my heartics here YOU are
with your stuffed aligators and gallipot.
and mixins for six-folks Why the
devil dou't you keep grcg for tuf folks
like me, and here he shuflcd off riga
door, and made himself very merry.
"Well, Jack, said one of tie lads,
"What kind of grog DO you want ?'
"i'.l take brandy was the prompt
reply.
Very well go aud help yourself =
lhandins him tin mls you will iiud
it in that closet"
Jack went as directed, and pulling
open the closet door, he found himself
within grasping distance of an advanc-
Ing skeleton he incoutinently fell back
step dropped his tin cup. turned ash
color, made one spring to the door, and
when hc reached the street took the
middle Of it, and ran like deer until
he reached a supposed safe distance.
Shortly after this our apothccary re-
turned, and being Informed Of the event
was greatly amused but sadly lamentcd
his absence.
81 would not have missed seeing it, -
said he, for great deal. do wonder
if he will come back this way 7"
But this was not probable, aud yet it
was the only way back to town.
In the course Of few hours how
ever, sure enough, Jack was heard at a
distance on his way back, singing and
dancing. Our apothccary, anticipating
an encore, went on: on his door steps :,
and clcvating his thin person, and cx-
tending his lona cmaciated arm
and hand, very kindly heckoucd
Jack to repeat his visit. Jack
no sooner saw him than he emit his