New national era. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1870-1874, 1872-12-26
HOW Escaped Being Killed In n
DUcl.
by MARK TWAIN

4
moral at the end oft, but claim NOTHING on
mat, as 1t is merely thrown in to curry f9vor
with the religious element.
AFTER had reported n couple of Years ON
the Virginia (Nevada) Daily ErIs,7,Jiss. thcv
promoted me to be edtor-in- chief-and I
lasted Just week, by the watch. But T
maze an uncommouly lively newspaper while
d'a last, and when I retired had duel on
my hands, aud three horsewhippings prom
tsSu me- Inc latter made no attempt to
| collect; however. this history concerns only
inc former. 1t was the old g flush times, OF
the silver excitement, when the population
was wonderfully wild and mixed; everybody
went armed to tue teeth, and all slights and
insults had to be attoned for with the best
article Of blood your system could furnish.
In the course my editing l made trouble
with Mr.. Lord, editor of the rival paper.
he lew up about some little tyifle or other
that said about him do not remember
now what 1t was. suppose 1 called him
thief, or body snatcher, or an idiot or some
thing ike that. l was Obliged to make tho
paper readable, and L could not fail in NV
duty to whole community of subscribers
merely to save the exaggerated sensitivencss
OF an individual. Mr.. Lord was offended
and replied vigorously in his paper. Vicor.
oGsly means a great deal when it refers to q
personal editorial in frontier newspaper,
DuelinS was all the fashion among the upper
classes IN that country, and very few gentle
men would throw away an opportunity of
lighting one. TO kill a person in n 5IuaI
caused man to be even more looked I'D to
than to kill two men in the ordinary wav,
Wen, ont there, if you abused a man. and
that man did not like it, you had to cali him
out and Kill him; otherwise Won would ba
dlsgraced. SO L challenged Mr.. Lord. and T
dld nope he would not accept; but [ knew
perfectly well that he did not want to fight.
and so challenged him in the most violent
ana implacabe manner. And then 1 sat
down and suffered and suffered till the an
swer came. All our boys-the editors
were IN our office, helping" NE in the dis
NAL business, and telling about duels, and
discussing the code with let Of aged ruffians
who had had experience in such things, and
altogether there was q loving interest taken
III the matter, which made me unsDeakablv
The answer came-Mr. Lord
declined. Our boys were furious. and so was
l-on the surface.
sent him another challenge, and another
and another; and the more he did not want
to night the hloodthirster became. But at
last the mans tone changed. He appeared
20 De waking up. twas becoming apparent
mat he was going to fight me, after ALL /
ought to have known how it would be-he
was a man who never could be dersuued
upon. Our boys were exultanS. was not,
though tried tu be.
1t wac now time to go out and practice.
It was the custom there to fight duels with
navy SIX, shooters at fifteen paces-load and
empty till the game for the funeral was Sc
cure. We went to little ravne lust OUT
side OF town and borrowed a barn door for
4 target-borrowed it from gentleman who
was absent--and We stood this barn door IN.
ana stood rail on end against the middle OF
{, to represent Lord, and put squash on
op the rail to rerreaant his head. He was
material for a duel-nothing but line shot
could ''fetch' him, and even then he might
split your bullet. Exaggeration aside, the
rail was, of course, q little too thin to repre-
sent his body accurately, but the squash was
all right. If there was any intellectual DIFF
ference between the squash and his head, it
was in favor Of the squash.
Well, practiced and practiced at the barn
door, and could not hit it; and practlced at
the rail, and could not hit that; and 1 tried
for the squash, and could not hit the squash.
l would have been entirely dishcartened, but
that occasionally crippled one Of the boys,
and that encouraged me TO hope.
At last we began to hear pistol shots near
by in the next ravine. We knew what that
meant! The other party were out practic-
ing too. Then was in the last degree dis
tressed, for, Of course, these people would
hear our shots, and they would send spies
over the ridge, and the spies would find my
barn-door without a wound or a scratch, and
that would simply be the end Of me-for, OF
course, that other man would Immediately
become as bloodthirsty as L was. Just at
this moment bird, no larger than spar
row, flew by and lit on sage bush about
thirty PAGES away, and my little second,
Steve ellis, who mas matchless rnarksman
with q pistol-nuch better than 1 was
snatched out his revolver and shot the birds
head off! We all ran to pick up the game,
and sure enough, just at this moment, some
of the other duelists come accommodating
over the little ridge. They ran to our group
to see what the matter was, and when they
saw the bird, Lords second said:
"That was splendid shot. How far of
was it ~
"Oh, no great distance. About thirty
PAGES"
"Thrty PAGES! Heavens alive, who did
it?"
"My man-Twain."
1.-The mischief he did Can he do that
OTTER: ?"
"Well--ycs. He can do it about-wsll--
about four times out Of five"
/ knew the little rascal was lying, but |
never said anything. / never told you SO.
dence Of that kind, 80 l let the matter rest.
But it was comfort to see those people look
sick, and see their under jaws drop, when
Steve made these statements. They went
of and got Lord, and took him home; and
when we got home, half an hour later, there
was note saying that Mr.. Lord pcrempt2rily
declined to fight!
1t was a narrow escape. We founl out al
terward that Lord hit his mark thirteen
times in eighteen shots. Ifhe had put those
thirteen bullets through me it would have
narrowed my sphere of usefulness a good
deal--would have we'll nigh closed it, in fact.
True, they could have put pegs in the holes
and used me for hat rack; but what is q
hat rack to man who feels he has intellect
ual powers: l would scorn such a position.
| have written this true incident OF my
personal history for one purpose, and one
purpose only--to warn the youth Of the day
against the pcrnicious practice Of dueling,
and to plead with them to war against it. If
the remarks and suggestions l am making
can be Of any service to Sunday school teach
ers and newspapers interested in the moral
progress of society, they are at liberty to use
them, and 1 shall even be grateful to have
them widely disseminated, SO that they may
do as much good.as possible. was young