Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1872-09-19
BREyITIES.

IlAE Is money, except the time o
need.
A MEIER is far more for getting thar
for-giving.
! A SHORT CUT to the heart is frequently
through the stomach
WHAT table is useful, though it has NJ
legs? The multiplication table.
WHEN may your money be said to be
/ glad to see you? When it is mute. eated
/ currency.
/ Two men recently died 10 Baltimore,
/ with great grandchildren older than their
/ youngest children.
| The first locomotive ever constructed
( IN Nova Scotia has recently been sent to
the lnter-Colonial Railway.
Two English ladies, sojourning at Cats.
kill for the summer, walked no less than
eighteen miles in one day recently, for
exercise
CAN you change a 50 bill" said an i'm,
pecunious drnker to the bartender
Yes Well, when l get a&2 bill I'll
bring it in"
SAL said one girl to another, 'T'm so
glad bain't got no beau now" ''Why
so?' asked her companion. "Oh, I can
cat just as many onions as please
A THIEF was lately caught br aking in
to song. He had already got through
the first two bars, when policeman came
up and hit him with stave
A NEW YORK Judge has decided that
Sims and banners across the street nrn i,
legal distractions, as street is not the
mere surface of the earth, but embraces
also the light and air above it.
A PLUMBER had a lad in his employ
and one day having occasion for piece
of zinc, ordered him to get one twelve
inches square. Eyes, sir" said Pat,
twelve inches square, but how lOng?"
a MICROSCOPIC lens was recently made
in London, at cost of f25O, from
diamond. The magnifying power of the
lens Is an increase over that of glass in
the proportion of eight to three
Two carpenters in Newburvport. Mass.
lately had a nail-driving match. One
drove in sixty five nails a minute, while
me other drove sevcnty-tive in the same
TIME, including his thumbnall.
WE are told in one of the fashion
papers that the fashionable color for
gloves is a subdued mouse" but we are
not told where to procure the "subdued
mouse, from which to extrac. the color.
An indignant witness exclaimed: THE
first time that ever did such a dishonor-
able act | would blow out my brains, sir"
Very good, - said the examining counsel;
land what would you do the second
time?'
The fact that ladies' hats are airv moth.
ings is illustrated by the conduct of a
Lowell belle, who walked several SQUARES
g
the absence of her dear love of bonnet.
Arr,Ir lands boro,of,ro oorsilorad
almost worthless, are found to be excel.
lent for cotton. In California, the cotton
planted on alkali soil is a month ahead of
that planted on the adobe lands,
4 corurRyN,,v stonned an evnross
train ON the Krntnckv short lima Had
bv ,yov;pq, bis I,at Tho condnctnr oba@i,'
ed up, and was disguised to see tbe fellow
deliberately proceed TO shoot n souirrpl
out of a tree.
A srpFpr c,,nn,st of poris kro,.r os
samson, IS Iron law whose erociait, w"o
to nick nm WEIGHTS with liz tn"tL or1
throw them over his head, raised barrel
with his teeth, and, in attempting to dis, .
pose of it in the same way, fell down
dead with broken spine.
AN urbane and popular clerk in n De /
trOit fish store was recently called away
to take charge Of his uncle's grocery IN
Arkansas. Previous to his departure his .
friends came together and over
came his feelings with a new straw hat.
A KIND lady in New York gave a nair
of pantaloons to a poor boy lately. The ,
next morning the youth returned, and re-
Iuestcd her to put watch-pocket in .
them, as otherwise they would not be of |
much use to him.
Ar Fulton, n. Y, recently, several .
holes were burned through the sides OF A
she'd by the concentration of the rays of
the sun by the covers Of some new milk
cans which were exposed on a bench near
by, each cover acting as a concave re-
leCtor.
DICKENS received ever elOO 600 for
- Little Dorritt." But DOUGLAS ,Tprold
received only elO for Black Eyed Su-
san, the most ponplar drama ever pro.
luccd on the English stage and died leav.
ing his family without a sixpence.
A co,,>,rCr,c,,,, ,yo,,o, ,yoo rrovor+od
from attonJ;nr, ,ho C,nnroI of hor D ,isto
nv The non 'arE}vol On tiIns Of a 1aco banJ.
From, New Wv Tbc brntai;,v
# Me- rxnraaa co,nnanT ia soverniv cnm.
~, -, .t lru3 '''l'
~ Cha o,,stor, i, GOWN countries -
r,nromo ~ hni.t yhite t,,r rHnn ~ citt,
~ nrisnn ,,hnn +boSo IL no or,n;
,,ol on, s,,aI ,,itbin ,ho n,,lIs Snah
i. oV',r reisoG Cow ', ,'
!, ,,riso, az S,,i,s oon+p,n any ~ ~ ~,
.nrj EoTIand ''' va ''''>' '''