Connecticut western news., 1872-04-26

would have to change inc title of his stall
 lishment from ''sanitarum to ''Mummyta
 rium." But, dismissing all these gloom,
 forebodings, looked about upon my fel
 lows in aftliction. On my left and righ
 were old patients and new corners, real in
 valds and dyspeptics, people who felt uset
 up with work, and who wanted relaxation
 and some who were about to be sent away
 with graduating diploma of perfect health
 None of them, sick or wei, ,-uncured, cur
 ing. or cured, d,-seemed 10 feel sad The
 reverend doctor joked and laughed the
 doctor of another science, with face as solemn as that of an old covenanter, the
 moss of which was chiscled off by ''old Mortality" began to utter his dry apho. risms, and under the lead of young lady, as 1.-the and bright as Fenelia, the whole party relapsed into conundrums
 But l am staying here too long. If Pat does not let me out, I shall lose my dinner and lose my bath
 Here comes my Eolus. He does not strike on the ''hollow mountain, but shows bis face at the window and all at once we feel as the imprisoned zephyrs did, when Eurus and the other stormy gentlemen, whom Eolus kept with them in the lock- up, rushed forth, scattered dread, and me- nacing destruction to the fleet of Eneas. We know not'what our winds did on the outside, but they set on with great activity; and in fifteen minutes the door was opened, and we all emerged into the outer air. To speak with my accustomed seriousness, say that this is called useful bath. It consists in inclosing you in tight receiver, with an escape-pipe for the air which has been used up, and the forcing in of several atmospheres of pure air to supply the lungs with extra oxygen. Of course, with such supply, the labor of breathing is almost an- initiated; and suggest to the selectmen of our town, the expediency of providing such an apparatus for the accommodation of several of our people, who seem too lazy to breathe. It could be located in the engine house, and filled by the steamer, when not on duty.
 Well; while you've been reading this I've been to dinner. am plain man in my c1SoSce, if not in my appetite and ahe result is, that dinner, like breakfast, is ssred olent" of slops. So now for my nap! Morpheus boards here, and his "keeping" is thrown in for his services. So with one wave of his brush, you are off beyond the land of Nod, for the space of an hour, at the expiration of which time Sam is on hand for ''full hot sulphur" "Ah, Judge' says Sam. with jolly, radient look, here's the gem of this Sanitarium. Just wet your head, and already for you." jump into the almost scalding liquid, and after reasonable ablution, and thorough rub by the stalwart hand of Sam. I oct ready for supper. Again comes to me the same round of delicacies, and then the as- semblage in the large parlor, the concert, the backgammon. the squads for conversa- ton, and then the chapel, and then the lookout for bed. But before turn in come the sitz, and the hot medicated foot baths. First stripping up and down your clothes, you sit down in tub, the water up. or rather down to your knees, and up to your shoulder blades; and you immerse your feet in auother small tub, with red l pepper and other condiments, and this is the preparation for bed. But there is one lit- lie thing more. Going to your room, you strip and appear ''in purss aaaturagi6us," md thereupon James, or another Pat, with bottle of salad oil, rubs you down like 'ardine; when, putting on your oil-shirt, 'ou go in for sleep. B.
 - Western HonsDIe7, Tsuees.