The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1872-03-17
Mernlng Star and Catholic Messenger.
EEw ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MARCH ~, ls7a
WIT AND WIBDON,

zEw ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MARCH ~. ls7a.
WIT AND WISDON.
How to get roaring trade--Buy mcna
gerie. = Ntrrta ~. ~ar '.t
The Happy Mean-Old gent, who did no
have the plate held out to him in churcl
last Sunday.
An opponent, speaking of Mirabeau
said, That man would do anything 70
money-even good action"
"What do you propose to take for you
cold !" said . lady to q sneezing gentleman
ooh, I'll sell it very cheap. won't higgls
about the price at ALL"
Hamlet is believed to have belonged te
killed Polonius because he thought the lat.
ter was frat"
"Td have you know, Mrs. Stocker: that
my uncle was a bannister of the law" "a
fig for your bannister !" retorted Mrs.
Stocker, turning up her nose, "Haven't
got cousin as corridor in the navy I"
"Angelina, my angel, can you tell nae
why your lovely eyes are like friends sepa-
rated by distant climesl" "No, Augustus,
can't. Tell me, oh tell me why they're
thus" "Because they correspond, but
never meet"
"There's some things that will never be
hurt by falling" growled an old man in
market the other morning. "What's
them Z" inquired the marketman. prices"
said the old NAM" they're so awful slow
in falling that they never get smashed"
A north country farmer, having been at
a musical blow out" at gentlemaa's
next day, who inquired how he liked the
quartette. sob, didn't taste them,~ re-
piled the farmer, +" but the roasted ducks
were very nice"
Said tipsy husband to his wife, "You
need-needn't blame me. twas woman
that fret ten; tempted man to eat forbidden
indignant wife. "Woman may have first
tempted man to eat forbidden things, but
he took to drinking of his own accord"
This "joke" is credited to an American
visitor in England. wall, stranger he |
is reported to have said, ~ guess you Eng
lish juries amt smart no how. If an Amer |
lean jury had tried the Tichborne case, 1
tell you what they'd have done. They'd
just bought up ali the Ticheborne bonds
and then found a verdict for the plaintiff"
When George ". visited Edinburgh, the
following dialogue took place between two
rustic Caledonians: First countryman-
" WeeI, Jock, have yon seen the king ~
Second 'countryman-'t0u,a aye, have seen
the king; but l wadsa gang the leLgth:o'
Inc street rect to see him again. The kings jist
his arms were lion and unicorn"
An unsophisticated constituent from,
West Virginia lately called on his member
Of Congress in Washington, who. accord
ng to custom, shook him warmly bv the
land, and said, "Come up to the capitol :,
While we are in session, and I'll give you :
| seat on the floor of the House," Wall
10, 1 thank you," said the constituent: i!
{, poor as am, I always manage to have a q
heer to set on at home, am ha'u't come
o washington to set on the foor." q
A sentimental youth, having seen young
amsel shedding tears over something in Fl
er lap, took the first opportunity to be in n
80 TO her, and made no doubt that
no was congenial spirit. "What work :,
'as it that affected you SO much the other Fl
lorningI saw you shed q great many h
ears. Was it Bulwer's last 2" II don;t a.
now what Bulwer's last is," returned she. cl
put assure you was doing that which W
most Kills mel was peeling onions" q,
A wealthy citizen of New Haven died the
.ner DAY, who is spoken of as zone of the sh
ost sagacious men in New Enelapd.n Az lbs
proof OF his sagacity, we suppose. it ia he
en n that when the idea was started
1851, OF building a railroad from New AL
aven to Hartford, he said, 81 have been to-
atching the stages. find that the aver Be
s1 n9 ma OF passengers in Hartford and vo
sw Haven stages is twenty-seyen. If wi
y6ody wants to invest SO, OoO, OO0in n rail.
aa between the two cities, / am wiling ha
~ should so ahead, won't invest" a G
nartoi was gentleman, quiet and upob. pla
'sise' but when his dignity was touched
eouiu make very cutting remarks. and AM
VIII was quick and keen. One evening bul
social social assembly, notorious coquette hit
! u promised n to dance certain quadrille ,
Tn him, and had subsequently ENGAGED I
self to another, and disanno;nted Iseo Sis
Ter IN the evening, as the two stood naam my
ether. the lady, wishing to hntton -. arm
We, asked Bartol if he tbon,ht he aa,si hea
q. ian for moment, at the same time A
'rlng him hers. az don't know Mae, Sist
answered, proceeding pentIv ~ naan;n, dur
1t; hut + th;,l, 80 w PU- g..
y" >"' to o
&C
t lttis r OF COOP DEED.-Here is a bint