The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-07-02
OUR STRATAGEM.
BY FLORENCE v. ROGERS.

NTISS AMANDA MELBOURNE was
IVl forty-or professed to be. With a
lady, veracity on that point is generally
good so we will chronicle as four times
ten. Forty summers had left wonderful
bloom on her cheek-or else it was a rab-
bits paw lightly touched to a mysterious
pink powder, in an oval box with lid all
covered with gilt and French words, and
conveyed therefrom 70 the sallow cheek
Of the youthful Miss Amanda. Her teeth
looked splendidly. She said it was natural
to the family her fathers teeth were all
sound when he died at the advanced age of
seventy. So most of the people envied that
natural beauty of her family--a set of
splendid teeth, but l learned she paid
money FOR them ; and that they reposed in
a tumbler of cold water every night, on a
table near the bed. She was very precau-
tious to place the stand near the bed, in
case of fire l suppose, for verify believe
she would have perished in the flames
rather than let the world know that her
strong, sound teeth decayed, and dropped
out in single night.
And then those tresses black, glossy
and heavy. She sported waterfall, too,
Miss Amada did, voluminous as any girl at
seventeen but the waterfall with it's bend
ed net decked the aforesaid stand, each
night also, and front piece coiled itself
around the aforesaid tumble-.
There was another article that mingled
with the group of "make ups" on that
stand, in fact there was pair of them.
will tell you how l learned the above.
One morning had risen early and stepped
from my window to the roof of the piazza,
and went around to her sleeping room
window. 1t was very warm weather and
Miss Amanda bad been SO indiscreet as to
leave her window open and curtain up.
So opened the blinds to bid her good
morning, and o horror! there lay an old
lady, white headed, toothless, cheekless, /
might almost say, for there were two deep
holes where her cheeks usually were. The
sun shone full upon her shallow face and
kissed her white eyebrows, and hastily
closed the blinds for fear of Weakening her.
and hurried back to my apartments. The
notice, and had not seen them, should
have been in great doubt whether that
great-grandmother looking woman was
Miss Melbourne, forty, or some ancient,
dilapidated relation of whose arrival l had
not yet learned. But knew the teeth,
graduated beads on that net, etc., but what
in the name of art was that pair of things
beside them. gl
Curiosity was strong at eighteen, SO TAX
Off slippers glided around to the win
dow again and peeped through the blinds.
Miss Melbourne was sitting on the edge
of the bed, trying to shake off "death's 5
counterfeit" by rubbing her eyes and
giving musical little yawns-occasionally
varying the performance by strOking her
shoulder, as if coaxing off the rheumatism.
AT this juncture my handkerchief had
almost disappeared in my mouth, and both
hands were clapped to my sides, to prevent
explosion which might give warning to the
enemy that was in ambush for / was
bound to discover where that pair of pearl
shaped gutta-percha articles went on Miss
Melbourne.
While waiting for that announcement,
beheld what surprised me still more. AS
live, Miss Melbourne reached down and
brought from under the bed an artificial
leg always noticed fault about her
walk, but thought it was an attempt al
the I" Grecian wiggle,' SO fashionable now
a-days. ftlti, ~
At this juncture was shaking visibly,
and the handkerchief performed but hall
duty, for te-he was audible several times.
Just then appeared my dear Frank in the
garden below, and commenced pelting me
svith gravel stone, Saucy fellow to take
advantage of my powerless position. 'o
ssGood morning" he shouted but
only shook my head at him and placed my
dngers upon my lips.