The Lincoln County herald., 1872-06-26

Pieco. makers: Steam, gunpowder
and glycerino.
A we'll balanced man-oue with large
bank account.
Domestic magazines Wives who blow
up their husbands.
Horses coats como naturally, but
tailors make them for asses.
How to overcome your sorrows
Strike one Of your own sishs.
What two colors are indiscernible
Invisible green and blind mans buff.
A Philadelphia girl broke her engage.
ment because her intended called her by
her frst name.
"Shon 20 out midt de field und sec il
dot big rock vos hog, und il it vos
drive um out
An editor writing the obituary Of a
respectable citizen. says that "he has
gone to that undiscovered burn"
A middle. sized boy, writing a compo.
sition on "Extrsu,cs," remarked that I'VE
should endeavor to avoid extremes,
especially those Of wssps and bees"
A Detroit saloon keeper hes l.. tur.lo
that has had neither food nor drink for
eleven months. He is still alive, but his
voice is not "heard IN the land"
A grocer is willing to admit that
honest tea is the best policy, but when il
comes to coffee he doesn't believe in
running the thing iu the ground.
81 don't care about the bugs" said
WOrmly, to the head Of a gentesl board
ing house, but the fact is, madam. |
haven't the blood to spare you see that
yourself"
"When get you in St. Louis, I'll kill
you" said Texas desperate to a cattle
drover at Abilene. "Why not kill me
here p because they will hang me
here, but iu St Louis they will think I
was insane, and let me Co."
A man named Hog who had been
found guilty of murder, laid claim to
some relationship with the judge, who
WAS about to sentence him, whose name
was Bacon. "l think you are mistaken,
blandly responded the judge. "Hoe
must be hung before it can DO good
bacon"
In regard to the cultivation Of cigars
Greeley is said to advise growers to be
careful in planting Them with the small
end in tho ground they should be SCI
in rows, to be no less than two feet from
each other care should be taken to keep
them we'll watered, for if allowed to be
come dry as they grow, they peel, and
won't smoke worth cent. BY keeping
them we'll watered, in three months time
they will be ready for gathering il
punches Of twenty Eve or 6fty. They
may then be packed iuto boxes and sen
to market, after they have been properly
stamped on.
GENTLE OvERTUREs TOWARD FRIEND
SHIP. First Straussr-"l declare, sir
that women are getting more oulrageously
decolatory every day. Just look ove1
there, at that prodisious old porpois'
with the eye glass y
Second Stranger ! Ha Yes
I cant help thinking she's more festive
looking object than that funersal ole
trump with the fan?'
First Stranger-"The funeral ole
fumps my wife, sir p
Second Strange-"'Ihe 'prodigious oil
porpoise' Is mine Let's 60 and hav,
some tea "
GONE Our FoREvER.-Like dropping
dying Stars, our dearly loved ones e
away from our sight. The stars of ou
hopes, cur ambitions, our prayers, whos'
light ever shines before US, suddenly pal'
in the armament of our hearts, aud thei
place is left empty, cold, and dark. A
mothers steady, soft, and earnest light
that bsamed through wants and sorrows
q fathers strong, quick light, that KEEP
our feet FROM stumbling 10 the dark and
treachorous ways; a sisters light, st
mild, SO pure. SO con itant and SO firm
shining upon US from gentle, loving eyes
and persuading us to grace and goodness
q brothers light, forever sleeping in oul
soul, and Illuminating our gsings anG
comings a friends light, true aud trusty
gone out forever | No! the light ha,
not gone out. 1t is shining beyond th'
stars, where there is no night and nt
darknes forever aud forever.
CHINCH BUGs AND WIRE WORMS
These two pests are at present holding
high carnival 10 the wheat and corn6sds
The former are found in almost every
section Of the county, ravaging the oa'
and wheat 6elds, some Of which they have
totally destroyed. The wire worm il
also producing havoc in che young corn
killing it wherever attacked. They arr
only found 10 some localities and hav,
not yet become acquainted with ths
country. The wet weather has been par
ticularly favorable to their growth, a
fair wsaths. and hot sun generally de
stroy them. 1t is difficult to tell wha
affect their aotioD will have uDon tho au