Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1872-09-14

mad, Squire, aud no mistake in the ticket
| do believe could have eat up that doctor
quicker than hungry dorg could swallow
squirrel skin, if could have had fair chance
at him. 1t was too bad after had fixed up
to marry her myself, for her to walk right out
before my eyes and marry that great baboon.
''It was bad, that is a fact" said [.
"Bad!' replied he 1T was meaner than
eating fried coon. first tho't I'd 60 straight
home, but then | concluded that wouldn't
spite nobody, so determined to stay and see
if [ could not get satisfaction out OF somebody
You know L m the devil to get myself or some
body else in scrape when | take notion,
and I'd taken one that night that went all over
me like third day chill, so | commenced
studying out some plan. recollected heanug
the doctor say that where he came from (out
the Lord only knows where that was) the bride
and groom always washed their faces together
before they went to bed, as charm against IN
fidelity or imbecility, or some other long word.
While | was studying about that l saw the
waited till they went to supper, and then got
the bags and looked to see what could dis
cover. Nearly the first thing saw was piece
Of lunar caustic slipped it into my pocket,
for had plan as soon as saw it. Well, l
watched around till saw one of the girls go to
the water pail with pitcher and l went out
and asked her what she was going to do with
it. She said she was going to carry 1t into the
room for the doctor and Poll to wash their
faces in. kept talking to her while she was
filling the pitcher, and when she turned her
head away [ dropped the caustic into 1t. 1t
was then about bedtime, and got my hat and
put out, but I could not help laughing all the
way home whenever I'd think about it.
"Wel, Squire, they do say when that cou-
ple walked up next morning they both had the
hardest kinds of fits, each one thinking they
had been sleeping with niger. Oh, it was
rich He was cussin' and tearing up things,
and she a screaming and fainting, aud coming
too and going off again. and me not there to
see it They made such an uugodly racket
that the folks broke into the room to see what
was the matter, and there they was with their
faces and hands as black as the inside OF an old
stovepipe. Id given half my interest IN the
other world just to have been in some safe place
where | could have seen the whole row. As
soon as they found out that they were really
the same folks that were married the night be-
fore, they called tor warm water and soap out
lust then the doctor happened to think about
the pitcher, and took it to the door to see what
was the matter. There was little piece OF
caustic that had not dissolved, and as soon as
he saw it he said
It's no use washing, Polly; all the soap in
New York can't wash that black Off
'That was the truth, Squire; soap and rags
had no more effect than it would on native
African, and all the chance was to wait tor 1t
to get white again. I never found out, but one
thing I do know" he conc luded getting up to
60, "the next time | saw the doctor had the
hardest fight aud come highest getting wlaled
than ever did in all my born days p