The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-05-31
Baltimore. Mch.14, 1871.

DEAR SIR would like you to an
swer, through the New York Ledger,
the following question Should young
man defer matrimony till he sees his
ideal of lady? or, in other language,
should he seek an ideal lady for wife?
By answering the above questl0n you
will confer great favor on . young
man who has been exercised for years
on this point.
When young man is i'm situation
to support wife and household be
should marry. But how long he should
wait in making up his mind depends
OH too many things to be here specifled-
But few cautions may be suggested:
1. A man ought to consider what ne
has to give, as well as what he expects
to receive. If one expects all the graces
and virtues to reside in a wOman-per-
sonal beauty, agreeable manners, intel
ligence, efficiency, prudence, good man
agemcnt, devoutness, affectionateness
by what right does he claim the
heart of such one? What rare
creature are you that such a paragon
should be yours? Is it modest or man
ly to suppose that you have only 10 ask
to receive such noble creature? On
what grounds do you claim the alli-
ance of great soul in a royal form,
when you yourself have no equivalent
to offer? No man thinks of talking so
about anything but women. What 1T
a plain, labOring man should ask,
"Shall / buy ME a horse nOw, or wait
till / meet my ideal of a horse ?? Buy
horse that suits your circumstances,
and is within the reach of your money.
Il, n
a cottage, or wait till L can find an
ideal mansion? But your ideal man
sion is far beyond your reach, and a
cottage is within it, and as you must
live somewhere, you had better choose
modestly. In property matters, men
accommodate their ideas TO their circum-
stances. They do not wait for ideal
clothes, or houses, or business. They
would laugh at the extravaganza of
waiting for that which was not proba-
BILE, or which might not reasonably be
expected to be within their reach.
But men-poesibly not that sex alone
picture every imaginable excellence
in the chosen one whom Time Is bring
ing to them, and it does not seem to
occur to them that it would be shame
to graft q branch from the Tree of Life
lJSeII upon ~ HllStfdDlt Cistp VI ~ StR n
or TO ally one ''little lower than the
Angels" with u plain, ungifted ordin-
AIRY mortal.
> But there is a wiser method of Sc
lection. Let one find in his own class
and on his level one who is fairly his
equal, and who Will be able, without
loss, to adapt herself to him and to his
circumstances. Let the partnerthip be
equal. Do not ask her To bring every
thing, and you nothing. IL she brings
health, goOd-nature, and industry, so
must you. If she brings devotion, sac-
rificing love, and a gentle aud comply
ing disposition, so must YOU.
To marry your ideal woman may all
be very well; but you Wi have to live
with a real one. And good health, a
good disposition, industrious habits and
prudent management, will be more to
your happiness than all the Sentimental
excellences i'm the realm of imaSina-
ton. ..
If instead of spending hours in form
ing all ideal, and hunting Tor IT, you
would employ yourself up6 - yourself
making your own disposition agreeable.
your manners gentle, correcting con-
ceit and arrogance, and fitting yourself
to make an honest and virtuOus wO-
man happy, it would conduce to the
chances OF your happiness great deal
more than by waiting for your "ideal
ladVp