The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1872-05-19

opened and closed steady 11J6
Orleans 11L; shipments from Savannah
or Charleston 11I.
A P1ucKY MOTHER R-1N-LAw.-In the
vicinity OF Murfreesboro, Tennessee, re-
lstes the Monitor of that town, there
lives thrifty farmer in whose exempla-
ry family circle there has lately been q
oonsummation OF the romance Of court
ing in which feminine ingenuity and
energy have been shown to ane dramatic
effect. The husbands only daughter, q
spirited young widow, having honored
the memory of her first lord with q due
interval of tears and weeds, and COM
mended herself to the reception OF fresh
proposals, found among her ensuing
snitors two worthy gentlemen OF suoh
nicely equalized merits that it was hard
to decide which she preferred above the
other. In first love such judicial hesits-
sion might have been impossible; but O
second version Of the grand passion ia
sometimes vincible to practical Judgment
from. the teaching OF experience. The
young widow OF Tennessee really could
not tell which OF her two courtiers she
felt the greatest appreciation of and
kindness for; and, that personal con-
hlct between the twain might not be in
duced by her obvious impartiaIity, refer
red both to her mother. That good old
lady, however, had no mind to assume
the delicate responsibility of electing
the happy man, and promptly referred
both back to their mistress again; but
she also gave her daughter piece of
useful private advice in the premises, to
wit: that she might leave the decision of
the contest to the destiny of sending
both suitors to the court house for q mar
riage license, and agreeing to marry him
who should first present himself to her
with the requisite document. The wildly
agitated gentlemen eagerly assented to
the device, and pledged themselves to
abide honorably by the result; and away
they flew. side by side, from beauty's
bower in hot haste. in race Of agile in
tenslty. 1t was, OF course. human ne
cessity that one should win and the
other lose, especially inasmuch as the
neither limbs of one were the least bit
more protracted than his competitors.
1t was close contest, bat the longer
gentleman won; and upon establishing
his precedence, was blushingly hailed BY
the lovely prize as her husband elect.
As for the "bad second" of the race, his
chagrin and despair at defeat so un.
manned him that he passionately abjured
his share in the pledge, and swore that
the wine Of the bridal should be the
hearts blood Of gentleman not neces-
sary to be named.
At this threat the bride displayed ner.
vous timidity, and would have deferred
the ceremony, but her mother insisted
that there should be no delay, and un-
dertook to guarantee peace on the occa-
sion. 10 church, then, the happy pair
betook themselves, and thither, also,
pranced the beaten rival, to produce q
most unseemly uproar in the worshiplul
edihce, and point o pistol at the head of
the clergyman and the breast of the
bridegroom alternately. He behaved
soandalously-the rival-and was forbid
ding the bans in literally high-handed
manner, when, suddenly, something
hard and cold was thrust into his right
ear. and hand of digitful dexterity
took deft turn in the disordered looks
OF his head. It was the old lady! That
able woman held an enormous pistol in
his ear, and her hand it was that Crap
pied his hair. "Now. go on with the
service" she commanded, impressively,
"and we'll see whose funeral it is. if
there's going to be shootingl" Limp,
helpless, and smiling in ghastly disgust,
the would-be disturber of the solemnity
was obliged to look on while the rite
proceeded; the pistol in his ear giving
him the aspect of one undergoing q
comic surgical operation for deafness,
and the determined woman holding his
head as though it might fly off if she
removed her grasp. Only when the
ceremony had terminated was he re-
leased; and then, although with some
snow OF penltence and shame. congratu-
lating the married twain, he was capable
of last touch of malice. "I've made
a fool Of myself, old boy" he said to
the bridegroom, "and think you ought
to feel jolly enough in your good luck to
overlook your old friends nonsense.
You've got good wife. my boy, BUT
here he smiled darkly and Indignantly
-'only think of your mother-in-lawl"
In the District Court of the United