Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-11-22

my 'hih lilc) Set np?" inquired an
lhebflatcd editor, as he came among his
printers Quotli the foreman, Yes: the
editor"
A telegraph operator in Erie, Pa. re-
fused to communicate with St. Lonis. No
because he heard the smallpox was rag.
ing there.
Fanny Ferns last contribution to the
New York Ledge, ended with the ou.,ta.
tion from Festus: 30 God, thank thee
that liver
When you strike lie stop boring; men.
ny man has bored klean thru and let
the lie run out at the bottom.
Ex-Governor Magoffin, of Kentucky
has discovered and entered as. govern.
ment land an island in Lake Supcrior
containing about twelve hundred acres
An exchange says that the correct an.
sWer to the gentleman who wrote the
song, "Wby did l marry." would be-
Because you met woman who was
tirst-cass fool"
A farmer living in Titusyille. Pa. who
has two or three girls, placed a notice ON
ms 'front.' door one night, which read:
ohut down for thirty days; no stove in
the parlor, and but one lamp
A fond husband boasted to q friend.
Tom, the old woman came near calling
me honey, last hight did She Bills
What did she say:" "She said. Well
Old BeeswaN, come to SUPPER"
The second wife Of Garibaldi is living
near Como, in Italy. She is described az
handsome, though coarse woman, and
IS still comparatively young and very
rich. She left her husband the day after
her wedding.
true wisdom is thing very extraordi
nary. Happy are they who have it; and
next to them, not those MANY that think
they have it, but those few that are sensi
bic OF their own defects and imperlections
and know that they have it not.
A lerre Haute, Ind, boy of tender
years, and heart has drowned seventeen
kittens, tied pans to the tails of nine dogs
brushed his fathers new silk hat against
the grain, and blown up pet canary
with fire cracker, in the last mon,i,
and still his fond mother intends him for
the pulpit.
\ Spring street boy came into the
office, Yesterday, to show us an album he
IS keeping. In it he has every silver he
has run into his feet this season. There
are seventy-six of them, and he wants to
know what boy can beat it.-Dapburv
Neps
The saddest instance of misn,aced
confidence on record is that ola Conncc.
ticut man who rescued another fron,
watefy grave only to find that instead OF
ms long lost brother, it was person to
whom he owed three dollars and half
for turnips
\ hentuckian, who fills a Kerosene
lamp while it is burning, lately had a
quarrel with neighbor who frightens
his childred by pointing revolver at
them, as to which was the bipgest foo,
me umpire decided. on general grounds.
.hat thcrc was no difference worth speak
ing of-Erchange
Inc following, from the Jasper (Kan.)
itep"dt'edn is of slightly .personar'
character: The gentleman who LOST his
laise teeth While chasing poor widow
womans chickens, can have the same by
calling at this office and paying charges"
A gentleman was recently lying very
low' when, beinga Il personal friend, an
undertaken thought to call on the sick
man and pay his respects, but, to his
great surprise and astonishment. as soon
as he entered the sick room he was greet
ed with, What do you want here9
" hen need you will send for you"
The New York Mail says: At one Of
our uptown churches a slate, containing
list OF the weddings to be celebrated
during the week, is hung in the vestibule
every Sunday, for the benefit of the con
gregation.
An American plow was recently in
troduced into the province of India. and
the natives instructed how TO use it. The
instrument worked SO marvellously WELL
compared with anything they had ever
before seen, that as soon as the agent
departed they set the plow on end, paint
ed it red, and bowed down and worshiped
it.
A watch, given By Washington to La.
fayette in 1871, and stolen from the latter
when he visited this country, in 1924, has
recently turned up in an auction shop in
Louisville, and will be returned to the
members of Lafayette's family now rcsid
ing in Paris.
William II. Seward was Of an Irish
lineage. The first Stewards who came
to this country settled in Connecticut,
multiplied there, and dispersed through
out the Union, many of them goinst to
Virginia, where there are now many of
the family name,
Now, Johnny" said a venerable lady
TO her siX-year old nephew who was
persistently denying an oilense of which
she accused him, Il know you are not
telling me the truth; see it in your eye"
Pulling down the lower lid of the organ
that had so nearly betrayed his want Of
yeracity. Johnny exultingly replied, You
can't tell anything about it, aunt; that
eye always was little streaked!"
A London tailor circulars the i'm +.
portant fact that he is ready to supply
"a want much felt by American gentle
men, namely, garments cut not only to
fit in the best style, but regulating any
disproportions that may exist and en-
hancing the correct contour of the pro.
portionate"
An ignorant yonng woman, in the New
York library the other evening, took a
book from shelf and read:-"The Deceit
Descent) Of Man," by Darwin. "Pshaw."
She exclaimed 1--WE needn't go to a book
to find that out"
A barber in Titusvillc, Pa. while cut
ting the hair of a customer, ran his shears
against some hard substance, which
proved to be milestone. The old far.
mer said he had missed that whctstonc
ever since haying time last July, and had
looked all over ten-acre lot for it. but
now remembered sticking it up over his
car"
The Northern Journal, of Montreal
says: In the present institution of
marriage there are three classes of
wives, and only three: The slave wife,
the dependent pet wife and the compan-
ion. Gentlemen, which do You choose?
Shall it be the king and his slave, the
king and his canary bird, or the king and
the queen? For the preservation Of mar
| riage there can be but one answer"
pray you, oh! excellent wife, cumber
not yourself and me to get curiously
rich dinner for this woman and man that
have al!ghted at our gate; or bed cham
Der ready at too great cost. These
things, if they are curious in them, they
can get for few shillings in any village;
but rather let this stranger see, if he will
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