Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-05-27
MISCELLANEOUS.

A cubic inch of gold is worth $3.50.
Good nature is stronger than toma-
hawks.
Detroit has some intelligent cats. One
of them eats oranges and another opens
jack-knives.
The American Whip Company at
Westheld, Mass, manufactured 1900
whips last month.
He that disregards the laws of his
maker, is unworthy the confidence of a
fellow being.
A wit once asked peasant what part
he performed in the great drama of life.
81 mind my own business" was the re-
py.
A COW of Grass Valley, Cal, got her
back up at being struck by lig ghtning
March 80, and has been first-class
dromedary ever since.
A St. Joe, Mo-, voter placed bank
check of $26 in the ballot-box instead
of his ticket. The judges had time
after counting was over.
'If you don't give me dime" said
young hopeful to his mamma, 81 know
a boy who's got the measles, and I'll 90
and catch them
Somebody proposes a library car, with
reading room and writing desks for the
long routes. No doubt it would prove
very popular; but only think how much
business it would make for the oculists.
How doth the busy Horace G.
Improve each shining hour;
And look for office every day
In every party's power.
How skillfully he builds his sells,
How neat he spreads the soap,
And when pigTon will not avail
Takes free trade for his hope.
A lady in Ohio recently drew $50, 600
on the death of her second hus band,
having drawn $4,000 from the same
company when her first husband died.
A Burlington Qowa) baby is immor-
talized by the following epitaph:
Beneath this stone our baby lays;
He neither cries nor hollers;
He lived just One-and-twenty days,
And cost us forty dollars"
An old "Revolutioner" SAYS that of all
the solemn hours he ever saw, that occu-
pied in going home one dark night from
the widow Beams, after being told by
her daughter Sally that he needn't come
again, was the most solemn.
In the New York Mail we find the
following version of Mary and her lamb.
Mary had a'little lamb,
She had it in the garden,
And every time it wagged its tail
1t spoilt her Dolly Warden.
A witty editor, who had just failed,
says he did it with all the honors of war,
and retired from the field with flying
colors, sheriff S flag futtering from two
windows and the door, and white flag
hung out Of his person as token Of
surrender.
An original poem thus immortalizes
the original settlers of Derryfeld, New
Hampshire, the former name of Man
chester:
1T was often said that their only care
And their only wish and their only PRAYER
For the present world and the world to come
Was a string of eels and jug of rum
Aunt Susan says: Suppose all mer
were in one country, and all the womer
in another, with big river between, ,anc
no boats or bridges; good gracious
what lots of poor women would b,
drowned"
A Kentucky ento-mologist has KEEP
two vigorous misquitoes under an inver
ted tumbler for six months without food
and they remain in a healthy condition
This clearly proves that their annoyanc
of mankind is entirely uncalled for, an,
not at all necessary for their sustenance
Prof. Fiske in a lecture recently given
says that if column of ice forty-fv
miles in diameter was thrust toward tn
sun with the velocity of light, say II
100000 miles minute, it could neve
touch the sun, but that it would mel
&c fact &c ~ oamo