The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1872-05-30

NO. 22.
e--,-S-,-1-s-,-sS,-,.@ ---S-s-e-57,---1--cc-.e-
DOLLY vARDENs."
Ths"All the Rage Costume p
s'YoU WANT, WHAT"
Yes. that is exactly what we said t.
the wife Of our bosom, Ia response Il
what We considered . very revolu
tionary exclamation on her part. W.
had just got home to tea, had taken
up the paper. aud were nobly strug
Cling with . very lucid editorial. which
went on to show in . remarkably
thrilling manner, that IL the duty on
raw material Of cotton was reduced
one sixteenth per cent, that exactly
1854 mechanics would be reduced to
starvation. and the average duration
Of their existence depressed to the
logarithm or 5l.S52. We laid down
the paper. took our glasses off. rubbed
them with our handkerchief. adjusted
them upon the bridge Of our Grecian
nose, and looking straight ct the part
ner Of our joys, SORROWS aud salary,
eaid:
"You want what7"
"a DOLLY vARDEN,'n
the old lady exclaimed, somewhat
excitedly, ut the same time spilIing
some Of the cup Of tea she was handing
US upon the last born's rather defence
less head. After the baby had been
suppressed, which took some time, she
repeated
"A Dolly Warden
With all the solemnity Of which we
are possessed, and We have enough to
change plank into . coffin by simply
looking at 1t, we arose In our seat, and
with that celebrated wave of the hand
Of Henry Clay when be bade farewell
to the Senate, said:
"Msdane, you are we'll acquainted
with the fact that my position rs a
reviewer of current literature. an
honorable position, Madame, which, /
may remark In parenthesis, supplies
this tender brood with life-sustaining
bread and keeps the wolf from the
door, there we gracefully waved to
ward the back yard, as II implying
that . wolf was prowling around
among the gooseberry bushes). entities
mo to speak understandingly upon the
character Of fiction. Now. as take
Il. Dolly Warden was the lovely daugh-
tor OF Gabriel Warden, the locksmith
Of London, - will b ascertained by .
reference to
BARNABY RUDGE,
written by the late lamented Charles
Dickens. In this view Of the case, il
I, who am bat In the prime Of life,
should have sail, Il would like to have
. Dolly Warden"
You're fool, old man sit down.
I'll show you what mean. Matilda,
bring your father the last number OF
Hnvpcr's Bazar." Matilda 10 our
eldest, the flower Of our fock, her
faEhsf's pride, her mothers joy. She
arose, took position No. 3 Of the dane
Ing lessons taught In very select
academy Of Prof. Hoppetyskippety
whers she II . scholar. and glided like
. sunbeam from the room. 1--WE
would not like to be qualified to the
fact that we ever saw . sunbeam glide
from the room. but that's tho way the
writers put 1t, and that's the way she
glode.)
She returned with the paper, and
our wife proceeded at once to move
upon our entertainments with what
she meant by "DolIy Warden" The
wonders of this dress at last stole upon
our mind. We were told that it was
ALL THE RAGE,
that nothing else was fashionable
and that our position ia society de-
pended upon having at least one
Dolly Warden in the family.
In an evil hour We consented. The
Dolly Warden should be bought. and
with many an inward groan, we
counted out the cash.
We had not as yet had our eyes
gladdened with sight of this wonder
full creation Of fashion. The description
given US was vague and hazy, but we
waited patiently for the denouement.
And we jidn't wait in vain. We saw
Dolly Warden at last. and the shock
70 our nervous system was Tremendous.
Returning homo one night, we
missed from our supper table the
presence of our wife. To Matilda we
said
Where is your mother, child ?"
Her dress has just come home, and
she wants to surprise sou In it, y
answered our daughter.
Suddenly the door swung open, and
the lady entered.
There was sort ofa wild look in
her eyes. as we imagined, and she was
attired In the most
OUTLANDISH STYLE,
having on address with sun flowers and
cabbages and pumpkins worked all
over 1t, and lot of snakes squirming
around for background.
Rising. we said, Madam, whom do
you wish to ses?" supposing, you
know, that the girl had let her in.
She simply stared 1t us.
Poor thing, she's crazy" we added;
s.just look with what . grotes que
fancy she has bedocked herself. Speak
to her, Matilda, or call your mother"
aud having said this we sighed COM
passionately, and shook our head In
mournfui manner.
Suddenly that weird female made
bolt at us, grssped our Adams apple
In . fiendish manner and choked US
until our face looked like banner Of
the Commune.
We had barely breath enough left to
gasp, "Woman what mean you?
Matilda, spring rattle out of the
parlor window" when the supposed