Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1872-09-05


People at Mount Desert complain that
they are being gradually starved to death
| on fish.
We are told of an editor at Montrose,
Pennsylvania, who has "gone insane,
and imagines himself a mule" We
know of people with whom we should
regard that notion as an evidence Of
| dawning reason.
II am speallin'," said a long winded
orator, ''fOr the benefit of pOsterity."
eyes" said one of his hearers, "and if
you keep on much longer your audience
| will be here"
California papers say there is no gold
mine in the State that will yield so large
a propOrti0nate profit as would the
cinhcOna tree, if the attempt at its Gull
ture should prove successful.
Among the infant schools of the coun-
! try we suppose we must reckon the
Nehigh University, unless it is a com
positors mistake for 'Lehigh.'
Sham Sentiment - Servant girl;
"There's your hot lobster, sir; and
Missus says she'd rather not cook an
! other live one. She don't like to do it.
| Old Epicure: ooh, she don't don't she
So she sympathizcs with a confounded
indigestiblc beast of that sort, whose
only object in life is to disagree with
people
A happy Kansas farmer has eight
acres of sun flowers.
A Memphis local editor who got drunk
was fined five times the usual penalty,
on the ground that it was his place to
set a good example.
A criminal lawyer in New York has
had to decline a cOlonclcy on account Of
twenty-three murder cases he was en-
gagged to defend this season.
An original novel in the Hebrew
tongue has recently been published in
Vienna It's title is ''Iato dbarkc Ia
chaem.'
Tom Scott owns $4,000 worth Of
saw mills in Florida.
All Foy and Miss Que, two Celestial
lovers of California, who wished to re
turn to the Occidental land, but couldn't,
took poison, and died in each others
arms.
4 German recently threw a large corn
cob at a rat, and laid the villain low.
With an air Of triumph he approached
the body, turned it over, and cried eX-
ultingly. AHA, aha. May be he amt
dead yet already ! believe.'
Parepa-Rosa has received the Bcoth0-
ven gold medal from the London Phil
harmonic Society, at whose concert re
Gently she sang, with great effect, the
''Ah, Perfido.'
The inhabitants Of Rhode Island are
wasting time by going up in q balloon,
when, if they'd just pass the blade of a
penknife under the State, they might all
go up together.
Apples can be bought for ten cents a
bushel in some parts of Illinois.
The are roasting oxen by the pair at
Illinois barbacues.
An Ohio boy has walked 1900 miles
already to see his girl and isn't half
through yet.
American green corn is sent during
the season in large quantities to Liver
pool by Atlantic steamers.
There are nearly five hundred desert
ers from the United States army. For
their arrest reward of thirty dollars
each is offered.
The value Of letter may be seen by
emitting the $ from speculation, and
you get ''poculation,' an ugly word
This is a mistake which American prin-
tiers should avoid from patriotism, if for
no other reason. Take away this letter,
and what is left of the Stars and Stripes?
Nothing more than tar and tripe.
1t is stated that 81 of the 1O1 counties
of Illinois have /, 100, 900 acres Of wheat.
4,754,0 900 corn and 1624,00 other field
products.
Germany has 216 steel manufacturing
establishments, giving employment to
3,015 hands, which turned out last year
160,915 tons, worth $40, 379,27t.
A country merchant went to Chicago |
a few days ago to purchase a bill of |
goods. The last was heard of him he |
was in his room surrounded by seven |
teen drummers, who had crawled |
through the transom, while an energetic |
reporter was below stairs pumping the |
clerk for the age Of the unfortunate man |
and the probable circumstances of his |
family.-lSt. Loasjs Globe.
Archibald Clybourne, the oldest sur
viving pioneer settler of Chicago, died |
recently. He had been a continuous
resident of that city for fifty years.
Cant travel on that pass" said a
New Jersey railroad conductor to a |
sport, who tried to play off an old dead
head ticket of last year, upon the old |
man with the lantern. "D0n't want to
! get out at this station !"
Princess Louise (11archioness of
Lorne, is to assist in founding a school |
for girls which is to be a model institu-
ton. It is not, like the national schools,
to give limited common schools educa-
ton, but will furnish a really liberal
education, at cost of not more than 942
per year.
The sum of 1896 was realized by the
readings of Miss Charlotte Cushman at
Newport, given in aid of the new New
port Hospital.
Fifteen cents bushel is what they ex-
pect for potatoes in Iowa this fall.
Even the humble watermelon seeds
find something to do in this busy world,
mainly operating on crowded thorough
fares
Prof. j. .. Whitney has discovered a
new mercurial ore in California, which
is likely to be of Importance in silver
mining. He calls it n,etacieaoadar.
Recently a Dubuque damsel, pretty
as pink, entered a saloon, kicked over
a table, drew revolver on the bartend-
er, and led her father out by the ear
A letter from the White Mountains
says: st rains here three weeks at a
time. None of your drizzling, misty,
dewey rains, but genuine, storm, that
comes down as if it loved to, and had
plenty of water to carry on the business.