Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1872-11-02
aricticS.

THE bored of arbitration - Ncwg.
paper readers.
RAILWAY ArnoRIsM-Every milk-train
has COW catcher.
"ExcUsE haste and u bad pen,' as the
pig said when he broke out
BuLwER says: Poverty is only an
idea" It's n very bad idea.
PEOPLE who are always wishing for
something new should try neuralgia.
A REWARD is offered for the barber
who does not ask you to be shampoocd.
A SARCASTIC lady says the only thing
which keeps Lent is her best silk UNI
brclla.
THE earliest barbecue on record
Luther burning the Pope's bull at
Worms.
A coNcElrEp rop was saying that he
was self made man, whereupon "a wag
remarked that he had relieved the Lord
Of Il great responsibility.
SAVANNA" said precocious little
boy, who, against his will, was made to
rock the cradle of his baby brother, elf
the doctor has any more babies to give
away, don't you take 'em.'
A VERMONT undertaken, who was not
used to conducting funerals, recently
rose at the conclusion of n funeral adj
dress, and said that the corpse would
now 20 round and take a last look at
the mourners.
A SHARP old gentleman travelling out
West got IL seat beside his wife in q crowd.
ed railway car by requesting the young
man who sat by her to please watch that
woman while he went into another Car,
as she had fits.
VISITOR" How long has your master
been way?" Irish footman-" Well,
sir, if he'd como home yesterday, he'd
been gone wake to morrow but ev he
doesn't return the day after, shure he'll
u been away u fortnight next Thurs
day"
WHAT agonies must that poet have
endured who, writing of his love, as
serted in his manuscript that he kissed
her under the silent stars" and found
the compositor had made him declare
that he "kicked her under the cellar
stairs
Ir is curious fact that the morning
and evening journals in London which
are understood to have the largest cir
culation-the Daiiy Telegraph and the
Echo-are at present conducted by two
brothers, Mcssrs. Edwin and Arthur
Arnold.
TIE other day little boy who had
10, l,Ia, hnp or 81
cried: Tie it up, ma; tic it quick, for
the juice is allrunning out!' The same
urcllin on one of the late excessively
hot days appealed tohis mother for help,
saying: Ma, do fix me, for Pm leak
ing all over y
"WuY are the doctors called physi-
clans, mamma?n said an inquisitive little
girl TO her mother, who had just been
visited by one of them. " Physician"
replied mamma, who WAS seldom at u
loss for an answer, "comes from lee
SEEK us the doctor rides about all day
seeking fees"
"SAM, whar you get dat coat ?' in
auired one darkey OF another, immedl.
ately after the Chicago fire. ON !!
down at Push's." "push's what's dat?'
"Well, I'll tell you. You sec, de night
of the fire, ! was II goin' down Sout
Clark street, an see on door, Push! =
so / push. An when | got inside |
looked around and sec Pull! 50 |
pulled dis coat of the hook, an scooted.
va! ha!'
Mr.. LINCOLN was exceedingly aston
ishcd ono day, rs he was inspecting the
| r,riccn in WashinutOn by u prisoner
who said to him, "IIow arc you, Mr..
President believe that you and have
been in every jail in the Union Inns
and the Jail at Springfield are the only
ones was ever in i'll my life SAID MI
Lincoln. "Very likely" responded the
rogue, but Eve been in all the rest