Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-08-22
ADVERTIs1NGRATEs
Pleasant Paragraphs.

duu Oc eafcn subsequent insertion.
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Pleasant Paragraphs.
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Ii thine enemy wrong thee, buy each
! of his children drum.
A nomadic woodpecker has, teen
acting theghost in a Saginaw house.
Watermelons. sell as low as ten cents
apiece IN Chattanooga without butter,
of course. ..,s
Never have a wooden leg made Of
oak, because the oak is apt to produce
a corn. e.. laO4
A recent letter says that the new
echo at Lake George is punctual. and
has an Irish accent.
The colored Methodist preacher who
was shot while stealing corn near Col
umbus, Ca, had sleg amputated.
So much wool has been used in deco
rating the Greeley fans, that Horace
dare not look sheep in the face.
In what way does q lady treat a man
like teleseope2 -Whenshe draws him
out, looks him through, and then shats
/
1t doesn't matterehow watcbfill and
lyigilant girl is; ifarude fellow kisses
her it is ten to one he will do it RIGHT
under her nose.
! A negro boy in Goliad, Texas, in try
ing TO drown some. little puppies in
pond, made mistake, fell in, and was
drowned himself.
The comPlete-eeRsas returns of the
/ United Statess show the total population
| to be 38s56S,37l, of which Is, AS. .565 are
males, and 19,064 ,SO6 females.
!, Judge James johnson, of Georgia.
whose death was reported some, days
since, has been reading his Obituaries
with interest and pleasure eversince.
A Louisville lady, who weighs nine
ty-five lbs, has baby, only ten months
told that weighs fifty lbs. She calls, il,
instead ST the old man, her better half.
Grasshoppers are eating up everything
but east IRON boilers in Big Hole and
Jefferson valleys, Montana. They
would rat them, bat there amt any
ttherest to be eaten. t-i So ii7a
Yg will alwus notis one thing: the
devil never offers to go into partnership
with bizzy man; but yu will often see
him offer tew jine with the law, and
furnish all the capital.-[J. Billings.
An old lady bathing at Long Branch.
with her speetaeles on but without her
wig, was recently taken for Mr.. Gree
ley, and drew & large crowd. -.
Mrs. Partington awakes from a long
Aslutnbdf to say that she thinks this
thing Of shaking hands across the
bloody sarcasm is a tomfOolery. e-a
g Crows without ,Csiws4Those of the
Democratic -roosters over the North
;. Carolina eleetion.-T Buffalo CONNER
eial Advertiser 3''t ''-,7 q
4 A Democrat who. thinks the necessi-
ties of the party demand that he adopt
i "croW meat" as permanent diet, says
1HH. g." evidently stands for 'sHard
Grub" y = s.'sag sils. $. ~ s4fab
1 9 Greeley is teet0taler, and Brown a
I first-rate @wicked example, IF they
would goiRto the Tenn perance iecturing
business together, the combination
could not fail to be grand success.
] Tom Brady, of the Muneie Times.
thinks that the opposition to Grant NAV
be all arranged under three heads. 1st.
ISoreheads. 3D. 'Copperheads. Sd. Sap
heads. ...i - s,
What Southern States can Mr.. Gree
ley certainly carry, is the interesting
Eeonundrum over which the Democracy
tarediOw worrying their brains.-[ Evans
willie Journal. s.i' gaiiiii ~ q
i Greeley is going about New ;Hamp-
shire asking, ssWhere are. the friends of
my childhood ?'y' Obtuse old gent. AS
if he didn't know they were hiding
I from him.
I "A writer in the New York Times
4 'Icontradiefs a statement that ex-Secre-
4 tary w. III. Seward is in favor of Gree
Hey, asserting from personal knowledge
that the reverse is the fact.
A Nashville paper says there was
4 never before such glorious crop of
! ''pairs' in that,city as there has been
this season. Nearly every front gate
is loaded down with them ON pleasant
evenings. .,r ,t-.s+sis7
\ At the funeral ola woman recently,a n
sympathetic and admiring neighbOr
volunteered the information that s'for
4 patient resignation the corpse could
dance all around any woman living"
Smart Connecticut Conductor-"Are
not you fourteen yet?" Impecunious
pig boy-"No; Pm only thirteen.n
Smart c. C.-"WelI, pay fun fare then;
we charge full fare for all passengers
over twelve" i't
j A plumber had an Irish lad in his
Iemploy, and one day having occasion
for a piece Of zinc, ordered him to get
one twelve inches square. ssYes, SIR"
,lsaid Pat, twelve inches square, but
..lhow long ?" IS. asH,
A young man named King shot and
killed another young man named Col
'llins, one day last week, in Nicholas
; County, Ky. The quarrel originated
, IabOut pair of stirrups worth six hits or
a dollar. ia- a-'i Z.
The latest novelty in jewelry is an
|. engagement bracelet, with the golden
, band securely locked upon the fianee's
! arm, and the key to the bracelet to be
! worn as a charm from the gentiemau's
: watch chain.
(. A Boston bride, whose groom remon-
r strateJ with her at the wedding for in
gldulging in rather indiscriminate be
4 stoWal of her hast maiden kisses on a
q number of her male friends, remarked
| with natural uaivete that the gentle.
5 men in question had been in the habit
t of kissing her all the days of her life,
and she didn't see why she should stop
now. s.
. While q Pennsylvania Dutchman
q was absent from his native State, that
State changed its its politics. When
n he returned, and was told of this
n exchange, he was very much excited.
IT.1ln I'll q el,oe, -