Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1872-02-08

oo's oss.ss AoAS, "a,s oAAtso 10 J"S'
"Then goodbye" s";' the bird
" Remember don't tell ANY one"
"No," said Tommy. y" Goodbye
-CNiitlrcn's Hour.
A Mighty Sociable Place.
by MARK TWAIN.
In Nevada there used to be current
the story of an adventure of two OF
her nabobs, which mny or may moi
have occurred. I Sivc it for what it is
worth.
Colonel Jim had seen something OF
the world, and knew more or less Of its
ways but Colonel Jack was from the
back settlements of the States, had
led a life of arduous toll, and had nev.
er seen city. These two, blessed
with sudden wealth, projected Il visit
to New York-Colonel Jack to sec the
sights and Colonel Jim to guard his
unsophistication from misfortune.
They reached San Francisco in the
night and; sailed in the morning. Ar.
irving in New York Colonel Jack said !:
"I've heard tell Of carriages all my
l.
one; don't care what it costs. Come
along"
They stepped out on the sidewalk,
and Colonel Jim called q stylish ba-
rouche. But Colonel Jack said:
"No, sir! None of your cheap-John
turnouts for me. I'm here to have a
good time, and money amt no object.
I mean to have the nob'ist rig that's
going. Now here comes the very
trick. Stop that yaller one with the
picture on it, don't,yQn, fret, I'll stand
all the expenses myself" \
So Colonel Jim stopped an empty
omnibus and they got in. Said Colo
mel Jack:
CANT it gay, though9 Oh, no, I
reckon not! Cushions, and windows,
aud pictures, till you can't rest. Whal
would the boys soy if they could see MS
cutting a swell like this in New York
BY George, 1wish they could see us. ~
Then he put his head out of the win
dow and shouted to the driver:
"Say, Johnny, this suits me !-.suits
yours, truly, you bet I want this she.
bang all day: I'm on it, old man Let
EN- out !! Make 'em go! Wen make
it al right with you, sonny"
The driver passed his hand through
the -strap-hole and tapped for his fare
it was before the gongs came into com.
mon use, Col. Jack took the hand and
shook 1t cordially. He said:
You twig me, old pard All right
between gents; Smell of that and see
how YOU like it I"
And he put q twenty dollar gold piece
into the drivers hands. After mo.
mont the driver said he could not make
change. ...
Bother the change! Ride it ont.
Put it in your pocket"
The omnibus stopped, and a young
lady got in. Col. Jack stared for q mo.
ment, then nudged Col. Jim with his
elbow.
"Don't say a word" he whispered.
" Let her ride if she wants to. Grac.
ious, there's room enough"
The young lady got out her porte.
monnaie, and handed her fare to Colon
ell Jack.
"What's this for 2" said he.
"Give it to the driver, please"
"Take back your money, madam.
We can't allow it. Your welcome to
ride here as long as you please, but
this shebang's chartered-we shan't let
You pay cent.
The girl shrunk into corner, bewild-
cred. An old lady with basket elm
ed in and proffered her fare.
excuse me, said Col. Jack. "You
are perfectly welcome here, madame,
but we can't allow you to pay. Set
right down there, mum, and don't you
be the least uneasy. Make yourself as
free as if you were in your own turn
out"
Within two minutes three gentlemen,
two fat women, and couple of children
entered.
"Come right along friends" said
Colonel Jack; don't mind us. This is
a free blow out" Then he whispered
to Col. Jim, "New York amt no socia.
bic place. I don't reckon-it amt no
name for it." -
He resisted every effort to pass fares
to the driver, and made everybody cor.
daily welcome. The situation dawned
on the people, and they pocketed their
money, and delivered themselves up to
covert enjoyment of the episode. Hall
a dozen more passengers entered.
-" Oh, there is plenty of room," said
Colonel Jack. r." Walk; right in and
make yourself at home. A blowout
amt worth anything as blowout I'M.
less a body has company" Then q
whisper to Colonel Jim, "But amt
these New Workers friendly 2: And
amt they cool about it, too2 Ice.
bergs amt anywhere. I reckon they'd
tackle hearse if it was going thei,
way"
More passengers got in; more yet,
and still more. Both seats were filed,
and file Of men. were standing up
holding on to the cleats overhead
Parties with baskets and bundles were
climbing up ON: the roof. Half sup.
pressed with laughter rippled up from
- "weh, for clean, cool, out.and-ou
cheek, If this don't hang anything thai
ever I saw, I'm an Injun," whispered
Colonel jack. -.
A Chinaman crowded his way in. ::
II weaken" said Colonel Jack
Hold on. driver! Keep your seats
ladies and gents. just make yourselves
free, everything's paid for. Driver
Just rustic these folks around as long q
they've mind to go, friends of ours
you know. Take them everywhere
and If you want more money come t,
the st. Nicholas and we'll make it al
right. Pleasant journey to you, ladie
and gents; go to as long rs you please
it shan cost you cent"
The two comrades got out, and Cole
mel Jack said:
Jimmy, it's the socioblest place
ever saw. The Chinaman waltzes in a
comfortable as anybody. I we'd stage
awhile I reckon we'd had some niggers
B'George we'll have to barricade on
doors tonight or some of these duck
will be trying to sleep with u.s."
Bronchitis.
This is an irritation or infiammatio
OF the Bronchial tubes which carry til
air we breathe into the lungs. It arise
from cold settled in the the throa
from Catarrh extending to these part
from scrofulous affections, and fro
severe use of the voice. The irritatic
from this latter cause commences in IL
tdryn1 and glotis. which are the orga,
nf tho vOioo on1 ovtool;ro. 4 o,,,>,,s.1