The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1872-07-02

dear rank, MIR. Thornton, on several occa-
sions. t..,
Now if there was anything my uncle de-
spised it was deception. .....
"Don't" he exclaimed, once to me, when
he caught me crimping my hair. "You
can't add to the beauty of those heavy
black braids by those frivolous crimps
stuck upon your head. Be natural, girl"
And he was going to marry woman so
natural what could he do, the first morn
of the honeymoon, to find Miss Melbourne
so trasformed! bald-headed, one-legged,
bleached eye-winkers, and without those
the-the--that pair of things
So / thought, as donned fresh dress
smoothed my hair, and opened my drawer
for clean handkerchief Then l went
down stairs.
There was no one about, save the servant
letting the sunlight into the drawing room
and busting the furniture ; so stepped out
to find Frank, and disclose.
caught the glitter of brass buttons
through the shrubbery, and ran round
turn in the walk to meet him.
go Frank ~ began, but suddenly stop
ped, for that was not my Frank.
"Beg pardon" he said; bowling low,
"but is Mr.. Thornton in ?"
Then he grabbed me, and kissed me.
was on the point of screami ng for
Frank, Uncle Harry Miss Melbourne, and
the whole household, as visions of murder
abduction, etc., fitted through my brain,
when Franks old musical laugh rang out,
and he exclaimed,-
=" How do youlike kiss without nous
tache ?'
"Mercy p exclaimed, are you really
Frank Thornton? Such homely man,
my dear Frank? Oh, dear how you look
without a moustache; I've invited my cousin
Madeline from New York, to visit us, and
she will see you, and I've told her how
much you look like Louis Napoleon Oh,
dear, what made you do it?'
81 only cut off half" he smilingly an
swered-it was real sweet smile he had;
l had never seen the whole of it before
"this side," and he pointed to the left side
of his upper lip. "You cut the other your
SELF Do you suppose that 1 was going
about one-sided?"
"Now got used to it, and l stopped to
take a criticizing view, 81 don't mind it so
much; but let it grow as soon as possible,
for it was your moustache l fell in love
with"
He knew / liked it, and cut it off to
plague me know; for shall always de-
clare only clipped the ends; why didn't he
trim the other side to match?
"Never mind, now; I've got something
to tell you," said, as / sat down on the
grass.
Frank sat down opposite, and commenced
to rock to and fro putting out his tongue,
and exclaiming, "and-er, and-er," in the
imitation of the way young ladies tell a
confidential story to each other.
"Well, you tell the story" said.
"Dear Kate, am all attention." and he
leaned back nonchalantly; and stroked his
upper lip
"Bless me, Kate p he exclaimed, al
wish that had a moustache; shan't know
what to do with my hands"
"Well, Miss Melbourne is not Miss Mel
bourne" said
"Who in the deuce is she then Mrs.
Henry Wayland9" And Frank started up
in alarm.
" No, nor ever will be-" l answered, and
Frank fell back on his elbow. "She is an
old woman of sixty, and she paints"
81 always knew that" he interrupted
"I asked her to smell the new, delicious
perfume ON my handkerchief, and pressing
it against her cheek, to see what was what"
d" No wonder, she hates you, you saucy
fellow, and" / resumed, "she wears false
teeth, upper and lower set, and"
81 know that too" he interrupted
The upper set dropped down the other day,
at the table, and clicked on her tea cup
while drinking"
"And / again commenced, "she wears
false hair" i.t
F" l knew that too" he exclaimed. That
sort of Bandalette she wears got moved q
little, and the wig slipped, and saw a
patch of shaved head here;'' and he point
ed to that portion of his head where the
parting, commenced.
Sand" / said, holding my patience, for
q, woman always gets vexed, whenshe finds
out that she cannot astonish in such an in
stance, she wears two things in her
mouth r'' , sl,
paused to witness the effect Of such an
announcement