Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1872-09-13
PHILOSOPHERS IN THE SURF.
Horace Greeley as n Swimming Mas
e~F-His Adventures with - Young
Indy I'm the BiRHOws

hr. Greeley visited Fire Island, New
Yea. on Friday, to battle in the surf.
The Commercial Advertiser has an i'm
aginary description of his efforts in the
water so humorous that we copy it. 1t IS
as good as if it were true:
SURF HOTEL, August %.
"Why, he can swim like duck ~ said
an enthusiastic Greeleyite, as he stood
upon the beach to-day and watched the
vegetable candidate for the Presidency
buffet the pillows on the Atlantic like
shirted dolphin. But the next moment
a mighty breaker seized the bold swimmer
and stood him upon his head, his heels
be ting the thin sir in desperate strug-
gle to alter his abnormal attitude.
l suppose there were two or three hun
dred guests, farmer folks, &C., on the
shore at the time. The news that Horace
was going out to wrestle with Neptune re-
suited in the forming of large procession,
which marched in good order to the scene
of hOsti!ities, and took up such favorable
positions as the nature Of the ground would
permit. AS the veteran norman emerged
from the bath house, the crowd yelled ap-
prOVingly, and the boys SHE'D clam-shells
at him in an encouraging way.
His ApollOlike form never appeared to
better advantage, and wero it not for the
slight tendency of his right hip to play sea-
shambling gait), he might be said to have
advanced gracefully" to the water line.
Half dozan young lady bathers had
piSced themselves under his protection for
a plunge in the brine.
"Oh, dear Mr.. Greeley, I know ] can
never stand it," said beautiful blonde as
big wave burst, enveloping her little feet
in the creamy foam.
'"Pshaw, my dear, you needn't be :lfraid.
I'll protect YOU" And SO he did, to the
great uneasinaGS Of her lover, who beheld
the dexterous veteran (mistaking her neck
for her wai3t) eDcircle her with his arm
and drag her after him as though he meant
to drown her. In four feet of water they
suddenly disappeared from view, and re-
appeared after five seconds, the young lady
i'll terriSle state Of fright. The kind old
man cndeavored to pacify her.
"Steady, my dear" he said, endeavoring
20 hide his own nervousness, 'theres no
use of getting Eighty. 1t is natural for the
human family to SWIM
ooh; Mr.. Greeley, how cap yo say SO ~
exclaimed the wretched maiden, wildly
squirting the sand and brine from her
mouth.
"Yon amt acc.lst,ned to it, my cs,ild;
calmly endure it little longer, and you'll
like it."
mo, never, never. I want to be r.anat-
ural. l don't want to belong to The hui
Lnan family, Mr.. Greeley, and"-here
another huge breaker cut short her frs1Azy,
azsd lifting both bathers hurled the Sage
headlong over his fair charge. A voll,:y OF
cheers rose from he beach as he recovered
himself, quickly seized her by the back OF
her neck az. one leg, and held her alOft,
dripping aAd struggling with the fine en-
ergy THAT > female can exert under the
pressure Of mingled rage, modification and
fright.
''She still lives" family murmured an
old lady near me, who, when a .hild,
had been landed on John Quincy Adams
knee.
"Come, that's played out, old man
fetch her ashore" calculated an angry
countryman, suggestively gatherings hand
full Of sand. 81 thought you knew better
than to be yauking a poor girl round in
that way"
BY this time the horror-sCricken and in
censed lover had waded i'll, boots and all,
and rescued his sweetheart from the peril
Gus clutches of the chivalric norman, who
stood gazing stupidity after them with bis
back to the sea, until the waters, collect
ing their strength, struck him aseam with
mighty force, and landed him sprawlng
far upon the beach. That ended the sweet
old philanthropist's attempt to prove what
81 know about natatOn."