The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1872-09-07
A RUSSIAN JESTER.

Popular traditions unite in representa-.
BalakireH as the constant attendant of Pete
the Great, who figures largely in all the
stories attached to the name of his buffoon
Many of these stories are probably the
fabrication Of a later age j; but fair pro.
portion of them bear marks of authenticity
and as fair specimens of national humor
are worth quoting.
On one occasion Balallreff begged per.
mission of his imperial master to attach
himself to the guard stationed at the palace
and Peter, for the sake of the Joke, con.
sented-warning him at the same time tina,
any officer of the guard who happened to
lose his sword, or be absent from his post
when summoned, was punished with death.
The newly-made officer promised to do his
best; but the temptation Of some good wine
sent to his quarters that evening by the
Gar, "to moisten his commission" proved
too strong for him and he partook so free
ly as to become completely inebriated.
While he was sleeping off his debauch,
Peter stole softly into the room, and car
ried off his sword. Balakireff, missing it
on awaking, and frightened out of his wits
at the probable consequences, could devise
no better remedy than to replace the weap-
on with his own professional sword of lath,
the hilt and trappings of which were exact
ly similar to those of the guardsmep.
Thus equipped, he appeared on parade the
next morning, confident in the assurance of
remaining undetected if not forced to draw
his weapon. But Peter who had doubtless
foreseen this contingency, instantly began
storming at one of the men for his untidy
appearance, and at length faced round
upon sBalakireff with the stern order,
Captain Balakiref draw your sword and
cut that sloven downW
The jester, thus brought fairly to bay,
laid his hand on his hilt as if to obey, but
at the same time exclaimed fervently-
"Merciful heaven! lett sword be turned
into wood !"
And drawing the weapon, he exhibited
in very deed a harmless lath. Even the
presence of the Emperor was powerless to
check the roar of laughter which followed,
and Balakreff was allowed to escape.
The TESTERS ingenuity occasionally serv-
as we'll as himself. A cousin of his, hay
ing fallen under the displeasrre of the
Gar, was about to be executed and Bal
akireif presented himself at court to petit
ton for reprevc. Peter, seeing him
u.
shouted to him, s. It's no use your coming
here, swear that | will not grant what
you are going to ask!"
Quick as thought Balakirelf dropped on
his knees and exclaimed, Peter Alexeie-
witch, beseech you put that scamp of n
cousin of mine to deaihW Peter, thus
caught in his own trap, had no choice but
to laugh and send pardon to the offender.
n,,, Is h.
paigns, a thick fog greatly INSTRUCTED the
movements of the army. AT length pale,
watery CLEAN began to show itself through
the mist, and two of the Russian officers
fell to disputing whether this were the sun
or not. Balakiref having to pass by at
that moment, they appealed to him to de-
eide.
SIS that light yonder the sun, brother ?''
"How should | know?" answered the
Jester We never been here before"
At the end of the same campaign, seve-
raj of the officers were relating their
exploits, when Balakireffstepped in among
them.
"pve got story to tell too" cried he,
boastfully; "a better one than any of
yours,D
"Let us hear it, then," answered the
Officers, anu DalaklTH began.
6 l never liked this way of fighting all
in crowd together, which they have now
a-days; 1t seems to me more manly for
each to stand by himself; and therefore l
always went out alone. Now it CHANGED
that one day, while accommodating near the
enemy's outposts, | suddenly espied a
Swedish soldier lying on the ground just
in front of me. There was not moment
to lose, he might start up and give the
alarm. ] drew my sword, rushed upon
him, and at one blow cut off his right
foot"
"You fool" cried one of the listeners
''you should rather have cut off his
head.D
$50 / would" answered Balal1ireff, with
grin, 'but somebody else had done that
already"
At times Balakireff pushed his waggeries
too far, and gave serious offense to his for
midable patron. On one of these occasions
the eranged Emperor summarily banished
him from the court, bidding him "never tc
appear on Russian soil again.
The Jester disappeared accordingly; but o
week had hardly elapsed, when Peter
standing at his window, esped his disgraced
favorite coolly driving cart past the very
gates OF the palace. Forseelng some new
jest, he FASTENED down, and asked with pre-.
tended roughness, slow dare yoa disobey
me, when forbade you to show yourself
on Russian ground ?"
81 havn't disobeyed you," answered Ba.
lakireff coolly; 81 am not on Russian
ground now"
mot on Russian ground?"
'No; this cart load of Garth that | air
sitting on is Swedish soil. | dug it up il
Findland only the other day.
Peter, who had doubtless begun already
to regret the loss of his jester, laughed e
the evasion and restored him to favor. Som,
Russian writers embellished this story q
German version which figures in the adven
lures of Tyll EulenspicgeD with the add
ton that Peter, on hearing the excuse
answered, ''If Finland be Swedish soil now
it shall be Russian before long," threa
which he was not slow to fulfil.
So