davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
Womanly Awkwardness.

Did you ever see q woman throw q stone
at hen? 1t is one of the most ludicrous
scenes in every day life. We recently OBJ
served the process-;ndeed we paid more
attention than the hen did, for she didn't
mind it at all, and laid an egg the next day
as il nothing had happened. In fact, that
hen will now learn for the first time that
she served in the capacity off target.
The predatory fowl had invaded the sa.
cred precincts of the flower bed and was
industriously pecking and scratching for
the nutritious seed aud the early worm,
blissiully unconscious of ofimpending danger.
The lady now appears upon the scene with
broom. This she drops, and picks up q
rocky fragment Of tho Silnrian age-''they
all do it,"-seizing the proiectile with the
wrong hand. Then, with malice afore.
thought, she makes the further blunder OF
swinging her arm perpendicularly instead
of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. tie stone flies
into the air, describing an irregular,
elliptical curve, and strikes the surface of
the earth about as far from the hen as the
thrower stood at the time, and in q course
due west from the same, the hen then
bearing by compass N. N. Z. by Z. half
east. At the second attempt the ston %
narrowly missed the head OF the thrower
herself, who, seeing that any further at
tempt Of the kind might have been suicidal,
does what she might have done at first
starts after the hen with an old family wea.
pom. The moral Of which is ''stick 70 the
broom stick.n
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

STATISTICS OF EUROPE. Europe
had fity-six States before the Italiau war,
while now it has only eighteen, with a
otal superficial area of l79 362 square
miles, aud population of 800 800 900.
Or these, the German Empire comprises
9SSo square miles, and population of
4O,lO6,900 (according to the census of
1863
The principal States in Europe, with a
population Of more than $4,000 900, are:
Russia, 7l,O0O,0O0; Germany 10000,
600; France, 36, 500, 900 Austro Hun.
gary, SO 900 900; Great Britou, 30, 900, 4.
900; aud Italy, 25,500,0O0; their total
population is therefore four fiIths OF that
OF the whole Of Europe.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

AN APT QUoTArIoN,-A lady, wri.
ting to her father, deoribed the loss of
favorite COW as follows
,"Yesterday poor Dolly strayed from the
pasture, and unfortunately selecting the
railroad track for the route of her luck.
less liberty, was caught by the late af.
ternOou train from the north, and left
in nearly equal portions on either side
the track"
To which the father promptly and sue
ciuctly replied: Apropos of your
COW, see Genesis, XIV. H."
Consulting Genesis according to this
direction, she read /: "And it came to
pass, that, ,0hen the sun aoeHt do,on, and
it was dark, behold a smoking furnace
aud burning lump that passed between
those pieces"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

Look here vonce! | want to fnd me
out ouf you got blenty time and you got
10 doued about it, vereabouds man
lives here vot moved away long spell
ov vedder ago.
He lived right down by an Irishmau
vot keeped Elm Dutch Grocery Store.
lie ruined away NIT mein frau und mein
umbrella, und don't like das bekos dot
makes me aggravashuns. Veil, don t
care me SO mooch Aboad dc old yomaus
but want mein CINDERELLA back.
He vos a sthoud gomblected Teller
about thry hundred und fufsick pounds
old, uud he would way about dirty Eve
yeers, nit sin iverry handel und three
ribs broke.
Annyvo1 who can fud me out all dol
circular singumstance aboud dot feller
und pring to the bottomsigned dot in
hermashuu, he will receive iu full Eve
tiggets, und you eau awl 90 to HELP
CHRIsToPn VoY LEIBENsTIEN,
The Glass Puddin Man.
In care of YosEPH MoFFEY. wot /.
playing MAEDER's HELP at do. Theatre
Il bet you hafo dollar aboud iu !"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
golitieal sttairs.
Wheeling into Line.

Those newspapers which mix up pol.
itics and religion 10 their weekly issues,
deyoting one page to advocating truth
and righteousness and another to polit-
ical matters generally, are now wheel.
ing into line 10 the support Of Grant.
They have had few spasms Of yirtuous
indignation over the revelations Of cor
ruption, Of fraud aud peculation, which
staod out so prominent against the ad-
,ninistration, but these have all died
away, and they are beginuing to deny
that anything damaging to the reputa-
tion Of Grant or his administration has
ever appeared We referred to an in-
stance Of this kind in our last issue,
and we 6nd the same now cropping out
in the Christian Union. So we judge
that this class Of journals will be unit
for Grant. Of course they do not allow
their readers to judge for themselves in
regard to the truth or falsity Of the
assertions they make. They pub
lish nothing but their own ipse. dixit,
which all their readers are expected to
swallow as law and gospel. The Chris
tidn Union labors through whole col
umn to white-wash over the faults aud
failures and corruptions Of Grant, aud
concludes that he is the every man we
want" So also the Independent and
the New York Christian Advocate. This
element 10 political controversy is sure
for Grant. However damaging may bo
the iuiquity exposed, or however motor
ious may be the usurpations Of power
attempted and made patent, these jour
mails will cover up the grossest wicked
cess, and cry out "Great is Diana Of
the Ephesians s"-'hurrah for Grant"
-Aontpeiier, ". Patriot.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
The Uses Of Ammonia.

The Country Gentleman thus dis
courses Spirits OF ammonia are nearly
as useful IN housekeeping as soap, aud
its chcapness brings it within the reach
OF all For many household purposes
it is invaluable; yet its manifold uses
are not as generally known as they
should be. 1t is most refreshing
agent at the toilet table; few drops IN
basin Of water will make better bath
than pure water, aud if the skin is oily,
1t will remove all glossiDess and also
tisagreeable odors Added to foot
bath, it entirely absorbs all noxious
smell so often arising from the feet 10
warm weather, and nothing is better
for cleansing the hair from daudruf
and dust. For the headache it is also
desirable stimulant, aud frequent 10.
haling Of its puugent Odors will ofteu
entirely remove catarrhal cold. For
cleansing paint, it is very useful. Put
teaspoonful of ammonia to quart Of
warm soap suds, dip in Aanuel cloth,
and wipe of the dust and fly specks,
CRIME aud smoke, and see for yourselves
how much labor it will save you. No
scrubbing will be ueediul 1t will
cleanse and brighten silver wonderfully;
to piut of hot suds mix ttaspooniul
OF the spirits, dip in your silver spoons,
forks, etc, rub with u brush, aud then
polish on chamois skin. For washing
mirrors aud windows, it is also very
desirable; put few drops of ammonia
upon a piece Of newspaper, aud you will
readily take off every spot or finger
mark ou the glass IL will take out
grease spots from any fabric; put GU the
ammonia nearly clear, lay blotting paper
over the place, aud press hot fat irou
on it for few moments. A few drops
in water will cleau laces uud whiten
them 6oely; also muslios
For cleaning hair aud nail brushes
1t is equally good. Put teaspoouiul of
ammonia iuto one pint OF warm or cold
water aud shake the brushes through
the water; When the bristlcs look white,
rinse them in cold water, aud put into
the sunshine or in warm place to dry.
The dir.iest brushes will come out
from this bath white aud clean. There
is no better remedy for heartburn and
dyspepsia, aud the arom ,tic spirit OF
ammonia is especially prepared for these
troubles. Teu drops of il in a wlue
glass OF watcr are often great relief.
The spirits of ammonia eau be taken 10
the same way; but it is not as palata
BILE dose. Farmers aud chemists are
we'll aware OF the beneficial effects OF
ammonia on all kinds Of vegetation ;
aud II you desire your roses, geraniums,
Iuchsias, etc, to become more flourish
ing, you can try it upon them, by nd
ding five or six drops OF it to every pint
OF warm water that you give them but
don't repeat the dose oitener than once
every five or six days, lest you stimulate
them too highly. Rain water is im.
pregnated with ammonia aud thus il re
ireshes aud WHITES vegetable life So
be sure and keep large bottle of it 10
the house, and have glass stopper for
Il. as IL is very evanesceut aud also 10
furious 10 corks, eating them away.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

One morning Patrick went out very
early in search of some game on au
estate where the game laws were strictly
enforced. Turning n sharp corner
whom did he meet but the gentleman
who owned the estate. Patrick, seeing
the game was up, coolly advanced to
wards the geutlenan aud said:
The top of the morning to your
honor; aud what brought your honor
out so early in the morning :"
The gentleman replied by saying =
" Indeed, Patrick, just strolled out Il
see If l could fnd an appetite for my
breakfast" and then, eyeing Patrick
suspiciously, said: "Aud now, Patrick
what brought yoa out SO early thi.
morning ?"
Patrick replied: "Indeed your honor
| just strolled out to BEE it | could 6ud
breakfast for my appetite"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

A scottish widow in the time of king
George was one day, in spring, seen BY
the clerk of her parish crossing the
churchyard with water pot and bundle
Ali Mistress Mactavish," said the
clerk, what's yer bus 'uess wi sic like
gear as that y are carryin' ?"
All! weel, Mr.. Maclachlan, ;" replied
the widow, I'm just goin' to my guide
mans grave. I've got some hay seed 10
my bundle the which I'm goin' to SOW
upon it (; and the water 10 the eau is just
to gle 'em a spring like
The seed Wilma want the walerin',"
rejoined the clerk. They'll spring O.
themselves"
That may well be-" rejoined the
widow; but you diuua ken that my
gudeman, as he lay deeing. just
got me to make promise that I'd never
marry agin ill the grass had grown apoou
his grave; aud as I've had offer me but
yestere'en, ye see, dinna like to break
my promise nor to be kept lone widow
as ye see we I"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

ANOTHER DEFICIT. - Defalcations
among Government officials are SO com-
mon, aud the amounts they steal are SO
enormous, that the little sum Of S40,-
600 missing 10 the office Of tho United
States Treasurer, General Spinner, is a
mere bagatells. The Baltimore Amer
icaR thinks that tie administration of
the Treasurer's Office is a "model Of
exactness." IL says The public SER
vice in the Office Of the United States
Treasurer, Gen. Spinner, appears to
have been model Of efficiency and ex-
actness. Notwithstanding the enor-
nous amounts of money which tho
Office handles, the recent examination
showed a deficiency Of ouly $40, 900,
which resulted from the defalcations Of
johnson aud Marden, aud Sl1 900 from
the theft Of package Of notes.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

The Teutonic tailor of Pennsylvania
village having married second wife
indeceutly soou after the death of the
first, the young men of the place ex.
pressed their disapproval by tin horn
serenado during the progress of the
wedding feast, upon which the bride.
groom expostulated: II say, poys, you
ought to be ashamed Of yourselfs to be
makiu' all dis noise ven dere vas a
funeral here SO soon ]"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
sELLINo wHIrE MEN AT AUCTION

SELLING WHITE MEN AT AUCTION.
-Willamsport, Vermont, has many
people within its borders who used to be
terribly troubled because negroes were
bid of at auction in the South, but we
do not hear that they were visibly al
fected when white people--their own
neighbors and townspeople-were re-
Gently put up and sold at auction. That
way Of getting rid of paupers is not
creditable to any town. In this case
they were bid off BY D. Rice, aud BY
him sold to Alopso Flint.--Nontpsiisr
W. Patriot.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
9netie Critics.
THE Wall OF THE WREPER,
/" Very ike vsa."-HAnLur.

Ysry ike q vsa."-HLnLur.
loved . maidi 'Twas my desire
To make one flesh Us twain;
To her ] would aspirs-A spire
Alasi twas all In vAne.
Each time called, | found my Miss
Would BY the piano be,
She played me many a piece Of List,
but ne'er would list TO me.
In silence ! an oath let drop,
would no more be dumbi
Like champagne then tried TO pop,
Like champagne she was mumm.
told her II she'd see the priest
NJ heart she would elate.
Our wedding day would be q feast,
II abe would share my Fsis,
hoped my hand she would not Ihun,
And looked not for disdain,
Bat she would have no bride ! none
Though hers should be the Reign.
And though begged, It was no usei
For her loved | got,
Instead nf matrimonial Moose,
The Matrimonial Noti
She called me vain And said that me
She coald not undersIand.
And thoagh I ns'sr could herman be
Shed shown me slight OF hand.
Twas mel Alas within one week,
The space of seven days,
She married a gambler, fat aAd sleek,
A man Of winning ways
In dismal prose, Eve told my woes,
I've tried TO rage and curse,
But now 'tis time t0 try a rhyme,
And 90 from bad o verse.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

Count Murat, who has just been ex.
PEELED from France, is a descendant Of
Napoleon's famous marshal, and was
several years engaged in diplomatic
duties. He was 10 years in the Corps
Legslatif, and was resent at the coro.
nation Of Alexander IL. of Russia,
which he described in print.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

The Committee Of Arrangements OF
the Liberal Party Convention. which 10
To Assemble in Cineinnati in May next,
have issued a circular inviting all vot-
ers, irrespective Of party, to join issue
with them, and promise all persons from
distance who may attend the Conveu-
tion tLat they viii be returned to their
homes free Of cost,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

A woman at St. Louis, hearing that
the house iu which her lover lived was
in flames, aud that he was in an upper
room unable to escape, bravely mounted
u ladder to the window of his room, aud
rescued him.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

A Scottish nobleman one day visited q
lawyer at his office, in which at the time
there was a blazing ERE, which led him to
excIaim, Mn, your Office is as hot as
an ovea." $50 il should be, my lord, -
replied the lawyer; ''as it is here l make
my bread
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

Patience is always crowucd with sac.
cess. This rule is without an excep.
tion. 1t may not be splendid success,
but patience never takes anything in
hand that she does not succeed with 10
some form.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06
Garden and Flower Seed.

III HAINEs L CO., have received a
LIZ large lot of the Celebrated Flower
sna \ dnrdsn Seed grown by BriggscAoa@
= pro Rochester, N. Y. and can INA
sseommend them as being fresh and y
..enapie. These Seeds have a na. O.
Nonal reputation and are warranted as re.
presented. Messrs. Haines Il Co are the
roe agents for these Seed in Carroll county,
.ua M. nave the largest stock ever offered In
-''s marker. feb TO-
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

CuRE FOR CoueH. The following recipe
for cough may be found useful:-Roast
lennon very carefully without burning il /;
when it is thoroughly hot, cut and squeeze
into a cup upon three ounces Of sugar finely
powdered. Take a spoonful whenever your
cough troubles you. IL is good and agree
Bile 10 the taste. Rarely has it been
known To fail of giving relief.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

II is a sad comment upon humanity
but soft soap, iu some shape, pleases
most folks, aud generally the more "lye'
you put into il the better.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

In Ohio, if property was equally di
vided, every man, womah aud child
would possess over 81 900.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

A Western editor offers G thousand
dollars premium for tale that will make
his hair stand ou end Probably the
man is bald.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

A certain brand Of Cincinnati whisky is
warranted to contain 437 6ghts to the
barrel,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

Politeness is like an air-Spshion-ther
may be nothing in it, but it cases our jolts
wonderfully.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

II man wishes to know the strength oI
evil, let him try TO abandon Il.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1872-04-06

Troubles are like babies, that only grow
larger by nursing.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-08-20
Addison County.

The rains of the past two weeks have
done considerable damage to grain which
has been cut and is now lying on the
fields.
Rev. +. w. Omsted of Townshend
preached to his old people at Bridport
on Sunday. An unusual number of the
citizens came together to'hear him.
The Vergennes Grant & Wilson
Club was addressed, last Saturday even.
ing. by General Richard S. Tuthill, Of
Nashville, Tenn. There was a full hous,
and much enthusiasm.
During the showers of week before
last. lightning struck in several places il
Bridport-two barns, a haystack anC
several trees. The wind blew down tn,
flagstaff planted in Bridport village ii
1861
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-08-20

j, s. CiIley, Principal Of Brandon, Grad
ed School X. G. Williams, Principal of
the State Normal School at Castlcton
Homer 7 Fuller, Principal Of st. Johns
bury Academy Mr.. Mcmillan, of Dan
vile, the Principal of Lyndon Academy
Rev. G g Chase and Rev. Lester II.
Elliott, of Chittenden county; Elias w.
Howe, Principal of North Bennington
\ Graded School; Miss Eliza NJ. Clark,
Town Superintendent Of Bennington, and
three other lady teachers from Beuning-
tpb and Rutland counties; and John ii.
Fteuch, Secretary of the State Board o.
Education. DR.. French was member
of the Committee on nomination Of Off
cets for the ensuing year, and Mr.. Dana
WIS elected a member Of the Advisory
Council
Mr.. Willard has learned recently that
d pensioner in Orwell, Vermont, has been
charged and has paid ten dollars to the
hgent who procured for him his pension
bn that Mr.. Willard had charged that
amount to the agent for assistance rem
dercd at Washington. The prctence was
of course, fabrication, as Mr. Willard
never has asked or received compensation
for any services rendered at Washington,
except his pay as member Of Congress
Papers in this District by copying this
paragraph may perhaps prevent other
persons from being swindled as this pen
sioncr has been.-Freemdn.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-08-20
ADDISON HOUSE,
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20.
MY REASONS.

Knowing of the many prejudices existing in the
public mind as well as in the mind Of the "regu-
lar Physician against specialists or "travelng
physicians, feel that a few explanatory words
which Induce me to Gravel" are duo to the pub
lie as well as to myself. Before making engage
ments to visit diiferents points, in Vermont and
vicinity, was almost dhly in receipt of letters
from parties in the country who, though anxious
to consult me, avowed their utter inability to come
to Burlington for that purpose; and being an ous
to meet tho wishes of those applicants, but con-
WINGED of the uselessness and danger of prescribe
ing without previous personal examination,
finally determined on making regular visits to as
many towns in Vermont and vicinity as my time
would admit Of and thus afford such persons an
opportunity of consulting me.
From the commencement Of my professional ca
rcer, my time and attention has beea exclusively
devoted to the study and investigation ofdiscases
of the NASAL CAVITY, THROAT, LUNGS and
CHEST, to affections Of the EYE and EAR, and
arrangements of the NERVOUS SYSTEM. My
speciality embraces the eradication of CONSUME
TON, CATTARH, THROAT DISEASES, AZ
FECTIONS of the VOCAL ORGANS, ASTHMA,
and all LARYNGIAL, BRONCHIAL and Pull
M0NARY COMPLAINTS the removal of DEAF
NESS, DISCHARGES from the EAR NOISES in
the HEAD, the restoration Of DEFECTIVE
SIGHT, by medical and surgical means, and the
treatment ofall diseases leading to GENERAL
DEBILITY, or to the establishment Of consump-
ton.
In every case coming for examination a can
did opinion will be given as to the probability OF
a cure, and no case will be accepted for treatment
which does not offer reasonable chance of sue
cess.
In opening permanent Office in the TINES
BUILDING Burlingt n, for the cure of all chronic
diseases where will be found in personal attend
ance most Of the time | am determined to dc
everything in my power in order to strengthen
tho good opinion, which from my reputation, may
be already entertained of me, and to exert my
self to the utmost in behalf of those who may
confde their caser to my professional care.
In conclusion, permit me to assure the public
that inyalids coming under my care, may expect
to receive every benefit guaranteed by science
skill, and a comprehensive experience.
S. W. SMYTH.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1872-08-20

The Spanish Consul at Montreal has
discovered Cuban recruiting organiza.
ton in Canada-the troops recruited to
be concentrated at some place on the Bay
OF Fundy.
Gen. Sherman has been very cordially
received by the Queen of Eugand at
Court at Osborne. Several officers Of
the American feet accompanied him.
An assembly Of the Jesuits has been
convened at Rome, having for its object
the project OF changing the name and
dress of the Jesults expelled from Prus-
sia, that as many as possible may enter
the orders still permitted to remain il
that country
OBaldwin, Mace aud Coburn no SOON
er reached Baltimore than they were ar
rested and held to bail to await the ac-
ton Of the Grand Jury. 1t is belle we'd
that the fgh; will yet come off, despite
these precautions.
The Delaware Democratic Convention
Wednesday refused to indorse Mr. Gree
ley, and great number Of the delegates
declared that the State should vote for
Grant, Curtis W, Wright was nominal
ed for Congress.
There was a very feeble Democratic
rally at Montpelier, VT, Wednesday
evening. A flag was raised, and the viii
lage band sent round to drum up recruits
but the two marshals and the band con-
stituted the entire procession from first to
last.
The meetings of the British Geogr,ph-
ical Society began Wednesday at Brigh-
ton. The ex-imperial family Of France
was among the guests. Mr. Stanley of
the new York Herald was expected 20 be
present and recite his recent adventures
in Africa.
Judge Conway has been exhibiting, in
Washington, letter from Mr.. Greeley in
which the venerable TriJune Sage pre-
diets future triumphs for himself 10 the
various States. Although certain parties
assert that the epistle is "A forgery, j Judge
Conway still Insists that it is genuine.
The order prohibiting the transporta-
ton Of wheat from Milwaukee to Chica.
90 over the Northwestern Railroad has
been rescinded, aud 40 cars were loaded
Wednesday morning The difference in
the price of wheat between Milwaukee
aud Chicago gives shippers a profitable
margin.