The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1872-09-04
A New Mode Of Extracting Teeth,

A New Mode Of Extracting Teeth
| Nearly twenty years ago, in one q
the Western States, very near the limit
Of civilization, stood a small villag
which boosted of several hotels, thre
or four stores, blacksmith shop,
lawyers Office and DOCTORS residence
besides dozen or so log houses. TIL
physicians Office was situated at on
end Of the town; rude log cabin, Will
a huge, broad door, over which hum
a rude sign, on which was painted, il
large letters, the words "Dr. Mutton
Doctor and Physician" Why the sigl
had painted on it both physician ant
DOCTOR" was no doubt from the reason
that these words widely differed i,
their meaning to the unsophisticatei
mind of the backwoodsmau as in til,
case Of a huge OK driver who entered
the iowa one day and inquired for I
physician.
The DOCTORS Office was pointed eu
to him, when, turning TO the speaker
he said, with look of wisdom: "Tar.
nation with yer doctor; I've taken 6
bead Of doctor stuff to kill the nger
but nary kill it made. l wants &
real physician that's what wants, and
none oyer humbug!" So you see
reader, the sign was really useful, and
contained no redundancy to the mind
of our FREUD, the OK driver.
1t was q cold, windy day, and the
DOCTORS sign went creaking in the
wind, as it blew to and fro. The doc.
tor sat in his Office before the fire, hif
feet, elevated above his head and rest
ing on table, while lie was eagerly
devouring the contents of one of the
weely newspapers which had reached
the village, and which vas ravenously
read BY the population; for nearly the
only thing which broke the monotouy
Of the village was the weekly arrival
Of the small carrier, who brought all
the news the Inhabitants ever got, ex-
cept that which they obtained from an
occasional new settler or passing
traveller.
DR.. Mutton read on ia silence, except
for an occasional grumble at the un-
pleasant weather, when he was sud-
denly interrupted in bis reverie by the
unexpected entrance Of q great, raw
boned Hoosier. who carried in his hand
a huge ox-wbip, while o large red
handkerchief was fastened around bis
jaw; his pants we're tucked in his
boots, and he wore a large overcoat
which nearly reached the floor.
"Waal, stranger" said the Hoosier,
"te you the doctor of this yere place :"
ayes, sir, am physician. Is there
anything l can do for youi" replied
Mutton.
"You be's = phyAsh! No, sir; 1
wants DOCTOR" angrily said the back
woodsman.
"Well," said DR.. Mutton, with a
merry twinkle in his eye, "physician
and doctor mean the same thins-they
are synonyms"
"They're whats" exclaimed the
Hoosier. "synnams, synnams-what's
synnams I"
Synonyms" said the doctor, 'tare
words which have the same meaning,
or nearly the same meaning; thus,
doctor and physician arc synonyms,
for they mean the same"
''Tbey do, Ell, I Look a here, stran-
ger" continued the Hoosier, grasping
the whip tighter and shaking it sig
niticantly, Il don't want any Of yer
foolishness."
"Well, my man." asked tho doctor
"what's the matter-any Of the folks
sick!
"Waal, no, doc, not sackly; but I've
got 8 tarnation toothache; feels as if it
were gwine to split my jaw"
"Wants pulling OUT" said Mutton.
"Don't know but what she duz: but
doc, can't stand ID to have her pulled
ont, l tell yer-I tell yer, doc, it would
kill me; the tarnal things been,
aching for nigh three weeks. Couldn't
stand it, doc, to have her pulled out at
once!'
"But," said the doctor, cit would
take me but short time to pull out
the tooth, and then tho pain would be
all over"
The Hcosier shook his head, and
said, as Ills face frightened up, as q
suggestion crossed his mind, "No, doc
but look here-couldn't yer pull i,
out by-by-by-"
'Degrees'" suggested the doctor, al
he suppressed smile.
"That's the word, doc; now couli
ye pull her out b. degrees I"
II don't Know" said Mutton, smiling
though he tried hard to hide it; ''but
it would" continued he, "hurt yor
more that way than to pull it out Al
once"
"Can't stand it to have her pulled
out at once tell yer. doc. degree