Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1872-04-11
COUNTING TWENTY-FIVE.
HOW the Wife of a Utica Editor Curbed
His UngOvernable Temper.
From the Utica Herald.

From the Utica Herald.
found the cherished face of Mary Ann
wreathed in smiles, the other evening, when
l returned from my arduous daily toll. q
am engaged as standing man at a saloon. So
many candidates are treating, that the saloon
keeper hires six of us to be treated. We all
drink with every candidate who comes in,
and it makes business pretty brisk.)
Said my chosen one, "Joshua, am afraid
you do not always find me an angel in dispo-
sition."
Said /, s'that's so-hic-my dear, don't
seldom find your nangel in-in anything"
"And," she added, "you are not always
the most pleasant man in the world"
did not feel called on to reply.
"Now," said she, tread that"
She had cut an item from the columns of
some paper wherein a demented writer told
about some impossible woman who, being
troubled with bad temper, counted twenty
five every time she got provoked, and thus
became a sweet, amiable and dearly loved
ornament of the house of her delighted hus-
band. I read the article as well as the condi-
tion of my head would allow, and remarked,
''Bosh."
Mary Ann paid no attention to me, but un-
folded her plan. She said that every time
got mad 1 should count twenty-five, and
every time she got mad she would count
would pay our rent while we sat and counted
twenty-five, over and over all day long. Then
she said was always raising objections to
her plans for our mutual improvement, and /
said was not, and she said was enough to
try the patience of saint, and l said she
was too and she came for me, and told her
to count twenty-five; but she forgot all about
that, and just Tailed one in my left eye.
Then I was going to demonstrate with the
II. A1ll
and said would not but did before she
had pulled more than half my hair out. Then
she made me count twenty-five over and over
again, until was out of breath and felt real
pleasant and good-natured. So we went to
supper. Now the cat was curled UP in my
chair, but did not see it until sat down;
and l did not see it then, but was pretty sure
it was there, in fact knew it was there as well
as | wanted to, and more too. felt inclined
to rise up suddenly, but as gathered to spring
she brandished the teapot and murmured:
"Joshua, your temper is rising; count twenty
five or I'll break your head" and that cat was
drawing map of the tenth ward with her
claws around behind me, with the streets and
boundaries marked in my blood. l rose to
explain, and said, my dear,-I-" but she
caromed on my head with well-shot tea cup,
and sprinkled my hair with quart of hot
tea, and sat down and counted twenty-five;
but it killed the cat The old fellow died hard,
though. could feel him settle as his nine
lives went out one by one.
A few days practice of this rule, under the
loving instruction of Maria Ann, has enabled
me to conquer my temper completely. No
body can get me mad now; am in state of
perpetual calm, and want to see the man
that wrote that story. want to fit him for
the hands of the undertaken, and make de-
mand for mourning goods among his rela-
tives. Then l can die happy-counting
twenty-five.