The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-02-23
Showing GI :n EicCuiiOnist.

i"iip"ihg Soou Stoly
In the slring of 1850 I accepted a
proffered editorial position on the Cleyc-
land National Democrat, and renew
cd my acquaintance with "Artemus. "
On the first evening of my arrival he
volunteered to show me around----a very
desirable achicvment, as [ was to fill
the position Of city editor. He ''show-
ell me around 50 successfully that
about , clock in the morning [ began
to feel almost as much at home in Clcye-
land as though | had lived there all my
days, to say nothing of my nights.
Artemus' invited me to share his bed
with him for the remainder Of the night,
and accepted.
Adjoining his room lodged young
professor Of elocution, who was cndeav-
oring to establish a school in Cleveland.
He was just starting out in the busi-
ness, and was naturally anxious to pro-
pitiate the press.
"Let's get the professor up said
Artcmus "and have him recite for us. "
demonstrated with him, reminded
him of the lateness of the hour, that
wasn't acquainted with the professor,
and all that; but to no purpose.
"He was public man." said Ward,
"and public. men are glad to meet men,
bers Of the press, as restaurants are
supposed to get up warm meals at all
hours"
He gave laundering rap on the
door as he shouted:
"Professor-r-r -
"Who's there? What yer want:'
cried a muflied voice, evidently from
beneath the bed-clothes, for it was a
bitter cold night in February.
cit is I-Brown, of the Plain
Dealer," said Artemus; and, nudging
me in the ribs, he whispered: "That'll
fetch him. The power of the press is
invinciblc. 1t is the Archimedean lever
which"
His remarks were interrupted by the
opening of the door, aud l could just
discover the dim outline of a shirted
form shivering in the doorway.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, Pro-
fessor," said Artemus, in his blandest
manner, ''but | am anxious to intro
ducc my friend here, the new local Of
the Democrat. He has heard much of
you, and declares positively, he can't
go to bed until he hears you elocute. -
clears me what - asked the pro-
fessor, between his chattering teeth.
"Hears you elooute-reeite-declaim
understand :-specimen of your elo-
cution."
In vain did the professor plead the
lateness Of the hour, and his fire had
gone out. Artemus would accept no
excuse.
''Permit me, at least, urged the pro-
fess1r, ''to put On some clothes and
light the gas
"Not at all necessary. Eloquence,
my dear boy, is not dependent on gas.
Here, (straig'tening up chair he had
just stumbled ever, y set right up in
this chair and give us, The boy stood
on the burning deck" adding, in a
side whisper III my ear, The burning
deck will warm him up!'
Gently,yet firmly, did Artemus boost
the reluctant professor upon the chair,
protesting that no apologies were nee
essary for the appearance, and assuring
him that ''clothes didn't make the
man. although the shivering discip
Of Dcmosthcnes and Cicero probably
thought clothes would make Il man
more comfortable on such night as
that
He gave US "Casabianca,' with
good many quavers Of the voice, as he
stood quakiag in a single short white
garment and then followed ':On Lin-
den when the Sun was Low" "Sword
Of Bunker Hill," etc., by particular
request of cur friend,' as Artemus
Ward said, although 1 was nearly suf-
focated with suppressed laughter to
make even dying request had it been
necessary. 1t was too lldicrous to de-
pict-the professor, an indistinct white
object, standing on the chair "elocut-
ing as Ward had it, and we sitting
on the floor, holding our sides, while
A. W. would family whisper between
his pangs of of mirth, just hear him.
1t wasn't in Wards heart to have
his fun at the expense Of another with
out recompense; so next day,I remem-
bered, he published a lengthy and en-
tirely serious account of our visit to the
professors ''rooms," spoke of his Won
dcrful powers as an elocutionist, and
expressed the satisfaction and delight