The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1872-01-12
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.
RULES FOR DOMESTIC HAPPINESS,
MANAGEMENT OF CHILDREN, ETC.


here to the following rules:
When you get up late in the NOR
ming, spank up all the children tc
| dress in time for breakfast, and scnld
all the time youare dressing your
self-the effect will DO conclusive to
peace and quiet. .aa"
If your husband complains of a
| duced headache make as much noise
as you can and rattle tho breakfast
dishes 1t will haze a very soothing
effect, aud he will enjoy his break :
fast amazingly. If he don't like APP
pie dumplings, aud you do, iravc
them every day for dinner, and he
will be sure to call you a dear little
duck.
Don't meet him with Il kiss when
he comes home tired and out Of sorts
that spoils men creatures -but
scoId him for bringing in mud---he
should sit on the door steps and take
off bis boots before entering the house
When your husband refuses you
seven hundred dollars TO buy a new
shawl pout for three weeks and throw
the old one in the fire You'll be
sure to get it.
If lady visitor comes in directly
after dinner, call in eleven OF the
children to be seen and admired, aud
let them thumb her silk dress till it's
greasy enough to fry, break her par
asol, step on her No. : foot in No.
| gaiter, and cut off her back curis
while she is talking to you You
can't imagine how delighted she will
be with their innocent mischievols
propensitios, nor how frequently she
will call.
Never command your children to
obey yeu, but coax, hire AID entreat
them-they will have more respect
for you.
When children come in to their
meals they should enter bosterously
and create deal of confusion in seat
ing themselves-it enliyens ones
spirits so.
Never correct them for any
breach of table etiquette. On the
contrary, laugh at it, and if they
should fight over bone or cake
don't interfere-it is SO very inter
esting and amusing.
Teach your children to hold tho
knife and fork in one hand and eat
with the othcr-fngers made before
knives and forks-and when they
hand up their cups for more Stops
show them how to hold knife, fork
and spoon in the same hand with the
cup and saucer 1T is so much more
graceful.
If Mary insists on saying her
prayers near the fire, whip her up
and don't let her say them at all
she might burn her nightgown.-
And if Katy objects to saying her
prayers, make her stand outside the
door and pray out loud for half an
hour-she will be sure to have
meekcr spirit, and the Group IN the
night.
When Billy, or JOHNNY, tumbles
down stairs, beat him within an inch
Of his lifc-especialIy when he skins
his chin-and he will never do so
again, unless you request him.
When you hear row in the
nursery, don't investigate it, but fall
in among them, and slap to tho right
and to the left--you'll be sure to hit
the right ono.
Reader, ifyou are man, you will
do we'll to remember the following
hints
When you go home to dinner, ii
it isn't ready when you enter the
house, snap at your wife. kick the
cat. beat seven OF the children, and
and sling yourself out Of the house to
restaurant. When you return TO
supper, examine your plate, cup and
saucer--all the dishes-and those
that don't reflect your phiz ii Ike a
mirror, you must threw at the house
gal, then discharge the cook, and
let your wife get up next morning,
with a sick headache, to get break :
fast for you. If she doesn't do 1T
up in ptyle, bring home three law
yers to dinner.
And now for a word to children
I've instructed your mothers how to
train you, children, but I'd like to
give YOU little extra advice
Don't go out of doors to play, il
you can get in tho parlor. If there's
piano thumb on it till won't sound,
then shut it with bang, aud break
the backs off three Of the best
chairs.
Ifyou have an older sister, abuse
her, kick her, give her all the i'm
pertcnenec and insolence you can
think of, and she will be q very at
fectionate and obIiging sister.
Never go to the table unless your
face is we'll smeared with dirt, and
| your hair tangled and browsed all
over your head it is not genteel to
have smooth hair. Take care that
your hands are three or four shades
dirtier than your face; go to tho Ia
bic with your hat on, take 1t OF
when you are seated, and lay it by
or on plate Of bread. Talk loud
III &c ,,an son anvfbino Won want