Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1872-12-10

de most Gurus ting | ebber did hear
tell on any way" and in this state
of bewilderment again reached the
grocery. Arriving there, he was
hailed by the boys to know why he
was going back so quickly. So
putting down the bag, he went in
to tell his story and accept a treat
of whisky, during which interview
one of the wags restored to pigs tc
the bag. SO
After due time Pete presented
himself before DIR. Smith, and with
his politest bow, gives the message,
that Master Jones says "Dem's
pups that you sent him, but l de-
clar l tho't dey were pigs shore"
"What," says DR.. Smith, "says !
sent him pups! II you have stolen
those pigs, you rascal, your hide
will get such a warming as you
never before dreamed of, let me
tell you"
The bag being opened, of course
there lay the little brown pigs as
comfortable as little pigs generally
are. Uncle Pete nearly fell down
in his freight and dismay. "Den
is the debble shore, he cried "did
anybody ebber seed de like of dat ;
why, doctor, dem is de same pigs
You put in de bag ; fore God dey
was pups when l gets home, and
massa he jest mad enough to mash
my head cause l bring pups"
"Come, Uncle Pete" says DR..
Smith, "you havn't been at home at
all, but have got half drunk and
don't know what you are about.
Now start and go straight home at
once, or you will catch the devil
sure"
With many shalzings of the head,
and inward misgivings over the
slippery nature of his load, Pete i'll
time reached the grocery where the
boys were eagerly awaiting him.
"Wcll, Uncle Pete, what did DR.
Smith say at your bringing back
the pups :"
"Why, gemmen," replied Pete,
"dis yere de mos Gurus as ebber
was. Why dem was pigs after all
and it mus be dat Massa Jones and
me be gone clear queer not to seed
dey was pigs-but | declar dey did
lcok jes pups down here, Shore
It's mighty Gurus anyhow"
"Well," said the boys, "opcn the
bag and let us see If they arc al
right now
The examination proved the fac
Of pigs being in the bag, and Cncl,
Pete's mind was greatly relivod by
the certainty that his pigs did looli
like pigs at hat stage of his journ
ey.
You must be pretty tired, Un
Gle Pete, walking so far" says on
of the conspirators.
"Why, l is dat" replied Uncl,
Pete, "but dem pigs has tired M
more by giving Inc such confuse
ment in my mind--nuf more thar
the walk, and it be q right smar
piece too, for an old man."
"IIow old are you," asked one.
"Well, gemmen," said Pete, ''I'st
goin' on mighty nigh forty or six
ty."
This lucid exposition of his ad.
vanced age had its proper effect
upon the audience and out of re.
spect for his years they rendered
him another treat of whisky, and
meanwhile effected another trans
position of the contents of the bag
Elated in spirit, both from the
effect of the whisky and the GER
tainty that this time he had the
right pigs by the ear, the journey
home was soon accomplished, and
he presented himself to DR.. Jones
with q conceted visage, such as only
an old darl1cy can assume. "Mas-
81 Jones, it peers we are both kin
der out to-day, for dem was pigs
jes' as / told you. Doctor Smith
tried to make it out | nebber car
ry de pigs home, and / so clean
beat when / seed dey was pigs,
sure enuff jcs' don't say muffin,
but come right off home. But dey
all rite dis time, for l stop at de
grocery and dey all seed dem dare" "
"Well, open the bag" Pete
opened the mouth of the sack, and
putting in his hand pulled out a
pup. ~
"De Lord God Almighty {" he
cried, his wool bristling in alright.
ait am the debble shore-'taint no
use tryin' any more, for dem ere
tings can be pigs or pups, jcs' when
dey are q mind to- and trembling
in every joint, poor Pete rushed off
| to his own quarters, believing to
this day that all hogs are devils in
carnate. ~
DIR. Jones was at no loss to un-
derstand the whole matter as soon
as Pete told him of his visits to the
grocery, for he well knew the dis
position of the people there for
practical joking whenever an OPP
portunity offered. Another mes
senger soon returned with the gem
uine pigs, who were soon happy
and fatting in the new quarters to
which they were assigned, and it
was over a delicious spare rib from
one of them, that DR.. Jones told
the story. ~