Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1872-11-26

ROYAL AND IMPERIAL JoKERs Testing with
kings, particularly uninvted-why, it was as
if a swimmer, however experienced, should VEN
ture within the smooth but death bearing cur
rent of Niagara, which invariably carries all
within its power over the falls. People have
played little teasing jokes with elephants, and
when the lOkerS have forgotten all about it the
graVely majestic beast has put his foot upon the
offender and crushed the humOr out of HIM for
ever 1t has been just so with malice bearing
monarchs, and with cOurtierS who thought they
might joke with them. The incarnation of
all such monarchs existed in the person of an
African king named Chaka. He was gwen to
joking at Others, and woe betide them if they
did not burst with ecstacy at the joke; but if a
fellow of infinite humOr" happened TO cap the
royal Joke with better, Chaka broke into hi
larity, which he ended by eXclaimug, Cut off
that wretch's head; he has made me laugh"
The Caesars must have been almost as dread
fully dangerous men to joke with as Chaka. The
great julius, indeed, after he became great, hal
no leisure for jeSting, nut was the object of some
popular jokes, which he took with indifference
The guests Of Augustus were afraid to "crack
joke in his presence. They would whisper
one to neighbour and then pale if
the emperor invited them to Speak
up" The imperial table was as grand and
dull as that of the copper Augustus, Louis XIV,
and the emperor had recourse to merry an
drews, just as the grand monarque had to har-
lequins. But the harlequinS of those days were
gentlemen and scholars. The grim Tibemus,
on the other hand was remarkably lacetious. His
delight was to puzzle his learned guests with
unanswerable questions, such as, "What was
the name of the song the syrens sangU and the
like. Fancy half a dozen members of the
society of antiquaries dining with her majesty
and being gravey asked who built the marble
halls tue Bohemian girl dreamt she dwet in? or
what was the christian name of the minstrel
Boy? and atIwhat period "Auld Lang Syne"
had been young! Nevertheless, Iiberius was a
nicer man TO deal with than Cagula, all OF
whose jests were brutally cruel, in words, and
oftener IN deeds. What serious joke was that
when, having nothing on but the apron of a
victim slayer, he raised the mallet, and, instead
of Staying the beast, knocked out the brains of
the sacricing priest! Claudius was too huge a
feeder TO have appetite for wit; but he would
have eaten the whole beast that his predecessor
should have killed. Yet Claudius, half beast
HIMSELF had good deal of the scholar in him;
as Nero had, who loved science, admired art,
was mildly witty, and Herewith as savage as an
insane hyena. We must except the occasion of
his visiting the theatre when he sat in an
upper seat and found delight in duging
nuts down upon the bald head of the pr@tor be-
low. That official was as proud of the atten-
ton as if every nut had been an especial honor
JoylesS Galba had none of the Ncronc fun in
him. But though not mirthful himself Galbd
could smile when he heard the popular slang
name in allusiOn to his fiat nose, "Simius"
His successor, Ohio, was just such a wit as a
man might be expected TO be who washed his
face in asses milk. If witty men went away
from him feeling dull and heavy, it was the re-
suit of their exchanging ideas with their impe-
rial master. He had his wit at second hand, as
Fitelius had who got his jokes from a stage
player and chariOteer. In more modern times,
when Astley's was in its glory, and the clown
OF the ring, joker that people went to listen to,
that circus clown cot his jokes, not from his
own brains, but from the Westminster bows
Jokes used to be made at Westminster as they
now are at the stock exchange, where fresh
patches are served each morning, like fresh rolls.
But TO return to the Caesars. Perhaps Vespasian
was greater joker than any of them, but his
Jokes were often broad and scurrilous Titus
was rather gracious than given to testing,
though he enjoyed one sorry Jest in promising
TO every sutton that his request should be grant.
ed. They went away radiant. every one ;"
he said" ought to depart ioyfuly from the
presence of his prince" and then "the delight of
mankind" thought no moe of his promise.
The chief recreation of the gloomy DOmitian
was in playing dice; but he always won. Every
antagonist knew what the Joke would cost him
II Inc beat the emperor. Altogether those twelve
Caesars were men compounded of the most on
posite qualities, with small modcum of what
is called wit among the whole of them. Out of
all those who followed, one alone, Hadrian,
made a standing and sterling joke--a Joke
which has descended TO us and added a slang
phrase to our vulgar tongue. To "scrape ac-
qualntance" comes to us from Hadrian. He
was at the public baths one day when he saw
one of his veteran soldiers scraping his body
with tile. That was such poor luxury that
Hadrian ordered that his old comrade should be
supplied with suitable cleansing Materials aud
also with money. On q subsequent occasion,
when the emperor again went 10 the bath the
spectacle before him was highly amusing. A
score Of old soldiers who had fought under Ha-
drian were standing in the water, and each was
currying himself with tile aud wincing at the
sell-iufcted rubbing. The emperor perfectly
understood what he saw aud what was the pur-
pose of the sight. "Ilal hap he exclaimed,
you had better scrape ono another, my good
iellowsT He added, you certainly shall not
scrape acquaintance with me!'-T Temple Bar.
TIE DEATH DE A NorAnLE ENG1IsuMAN