Connecticut western news., 1872-02-02
Special Notices, 50 per cent. in advance or the
Facts and Fancies.
Net profits-a fisherman's.

hand.
 Moving for q new trial-popping to Mrs. Number Two.
 He who declares all men knaves con- victs at least one
 Clcrgymen, like brakemen do Q good , deal of coupling.
 "Figures won't lie" is not supposed ! to woman's figure.
 Leavenworth has divorce suit styled Jelly vs. Jelly. Family jars did 1t. z Some married people always go to bed
 quarrelling, yet they never fall out. 3 Ire world is an excellent judge in gen. l eral but very bad one in particular, , Maine woman has swallowed 270 bottles of cherry pectoral, and still lives. When is an encampment most likely 2 to burn we'll When the tents are pitch l ed.
 A stitch in time saves nine. Those who have got one in the side, be thank full.
 = It is said that the light of match will frighten wolf, but love match some times fails to keep the wolf from the . door. < Omaha is proud of having a distant v cousin of the Grand Duke permanently settled as pianist in one of its lager-bier I saloons.
 An Ohio lady sent back book she had t ordered, because the leaves were uncut. a She thought it was on unfinished copy, y and was right.
 Q Before the sixteenth century ladies : used to sl1ewer their dresses with bits of , wood in 1543 a sharp inventor gave - them the sekewerity of pins. T A Meriden. Conn.,, gentleman abiured ] tobacco in all it's forms last year, and s thereby added to his fund $60, with which u i he bought his wife New, Years present. ! Good boy.
 7. There is no more pitiable sight than ? that of husband and father reeling home < at the end of the week, having left the T greater part of his weeks wages at some n drinking saloon.
 Q At Glencoe, Minnesota, while the r mercury stood at twenty-two degrees, V beautiful mirage appeared, which ren- 1t dered distinctly visible the Minnesota n River, fifty miles distant. l. A man in Nebraska said he could e handle rattlesnake the same way os tt snake charmer The churlishness of OI J. advance delayed the funeral four days.
 At a leap year party in Atlanta, Geo.,
 the young ladies showed their manliness
 by having the following notices in con e spicuous places: "We mean business, s, "Now is our chance" "Waiting is te.
 dious."
 T. A new way of collecting bad debts has IS been invented in Brooklyn. A lad was ie observed a few days ago, standing in IS front of dwelling and supporting large u bulIetin-board inscribed, "Waiting for ID $3. 37"-the amount of the family gro- u cery bill.
 h A Kansas papers COW obituary says : I "There is not farm wagon in the coun- ,. try that she has not stolen something d out of not gate in town that she has rt not opened and the stones that have 10 been thrown at her would make five 10 miles of turnpike"
 ic A girl, sixteen years old, took up a 1t position in chair opposite the door of d the Grand Dukes room, in St. Louis, ,e determined to see Alexis. For thirteen g. hours she kept faithful watch, when she s. was driven away by the cruel hotel or keeper, with out having her innocent pr wish gratifed.
 le The Kentucky Court of Appeals has le declared that mutality of an engagement Q. may be proved against a young lady "by i'd showing that she demeaned herself as ii Id she concurred in or approved the young E, mans promises or offer. It is not neces. r, sary that there should be an express pro, st mise on either side" 7d The New York Evening Post having ut said Ca very slender man asked friend IL I>o 1,ol 0t at the masquerade, and was advised to chalk ts his head and go as a billiard-cue," the y Courier Jou1m0l suggests as an improve
 ment that he might braid his legs and
 appear as a whip-lash." ne "My son." said a good mother to her st young hopeful, "did you wish your ke teacher a happy. New Year? ?" mNo, ,e ma'am," responded the boy. "Well, ~ why not" Because" sad the youth w "she isn't happy unless she's whipping ;s some of us boys, and was afraid if rv wished her happiness she'd go for me ut The wife of member of the Arizona ca Legislature, whose house, when heI of husband was absent on his Legislative d duties, was attacked by Indians, sho O, six, and the next day wrote to her hus of band, "Dear John, the Apaches attack nd ed the ranche. have won the fight Iy You need not come yourself, but sent ve some more ammunition. he A Norwegian seventy years old, a )r, White Bear Lake, Michigan, had th' m- most extraordinary fight with a wolf ol la- record, last week. The animal tackled sx- him, and he fought, first with a club eX- then with pitch-fork, and finally he go
 a rope around the neck of the beast, ant
 herewith drew him to a carpenter o,, vice, into which he screwed his head tv Then he got gun and killed him. ng A Clinton county, Iowa man, havin .h, a toothache, determined to extract it b on the Indian method. sHe went to th lce woods, bent over sapling, tied strini ar- to his tooth, and the other end to tn 5 bush, laid calmly down on his back, an
 to let go. The tooth vanished through tn to tree tops with sound like the whistl CIV of minnie ball, and carried with len something less than a pound of gum ,il and "sich."
 on A farmer in Warren county Pa., set ole steel trap for a corn thief, and ne,
 morning found his game secure. I'll
 poor victim had the part of the hand i o. the trap frozen. He had reached eli from the outside of the crib, and, (
 5 9' course, when caught, was powerless { eat, release himself. The trapper invite ,'.s ,od the captured chap to come in and war oo ,eo after releasing him, but he plead bus oei; ness elsewhere and declined the offer. ee-
 to- AN ExPED1rIoN-A British army Ing 10, ,00O men, with 400 elephants, is bein 1ed organized at Chattuck to conquer tl I'd, Looshias, people living on the nortl the eastern frontier of India. The tea-plal