Beaufort Republican. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1871-1873, 1872-02-08
A NABoB,s VISIT TO NEw.YoRK.
BY MARK TWAIN.

entitled ''Roughing IT, now in press
tits sample of the good things contained
therein
In Nevada there used to be current the
story of and adventure of two of her ma
bohs, which may or may not have oc-
cured. / give it for what it Is worth:
Colonel Jim had seen somewhat of the
world, and knew more or less OF its ways;
but Colonel Jack was from the back set
Elements of the States, had led life OF
arduous toll, and had never seen city.
These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
proiectea visit to New York-Colonel
Jack to see the sights, and Colonel Jim to
Guard his unsophistication from misfor-
tune. They reached San Francisco In
the night and sailed in the morning.
Arrived in New York colonel Jack
said:
I've heard tell Of carriages all my life,
and now, mean to have a ride in one
I don't care what it costs. Come along
They stepped on the sidewalk and
Colonel Jim called stylish barouche.
But Colonel Jack said:
No. sir None of your cheap-John
turnouss for me. I'm here to have good
time, and money amt any object. L
mean to have the nobbiest rig that's
going. Now, here comes the very trick.
Stop that yaller one with the pictures on
it-don't you fret-l'll stand all the tx
pense myself.
So Colonel Jim stopped an empty omni-
bus and they got in. Said Colonel Jack:
Amt it gay though Oil no, L reckon
not. Cushions, windows, aud pictures
till YOU can't rest. What would the boys
saw if they could see US cutting swell
like this in New York? By George l
wish they could see us.
Then he put his head out of the window,
and shouted to the driver:
Say, Johny, this suits me!-suits yours
truly, YOU bet you l want this shebang
all day. I'm on it, old man Let 'em
out! Make 'em 60. Well make it all
right to you, sonny
The driver passed his hand through the
strap hole, and taped for his fare-it was
before the gongs came into common use.
Colonel Jack took the hand and shook 1t
cordially. lie said:
"You twig me, old pard All right
between gents. Smell of that, and STE
how you like it."
And he put twenty. dollar gold'piece
in the drivers hand. After moment
driver said he could not make change.
''Bother the change Ride out. Put
it in your pocket" .
Then to Colonel Jim, with sounding
slap on his thigh
s:Ain,t it style, though? Hanged if |
don't hire this thing every day for a week.
The omnibus stopped and a young lady
got in. Colonel Jack started for mo-
ment, then nudged Colonel Jim with his
elbow.
ssDon't say word" he whispered.
.Let her ride if she wants to. Gracious,
there's room enough"
The Young lady got out her portemon-
naie. and handed her fare to Colonel Jack.
ssWhat's this for2" he said.
s'Give it to the driver, please"
s'Take back your money, madame. we
can't allow it. You are welcome to a ride
here as long as you please, but the She
bang is chartered; We shan't let you pay
cent?
The girl shrank into corner be.
wildered. An old lady with basket
climbed in, and proffered her fare.
"Excuse me" said Colonel Jack. "You
are perfectly welcome here, madame, but
we can't allow you to pay. Set right
down there mum, and don't you feel the
least uneasy. Make yourself as free as II
you were in your own turnout"
Within two minutes three gentlemen.
two fat women, and a couple Of children
entered
ssCome right along, friends" said Col
onel lack: ''dnn't mind US. This is free
blowout Then he whispered to Colon
81 LIN, New York amt no social lie place,
a,n't reckon it amt no name for It,"
He resisted every effort to pass fares to
the driver, and made every body cordially
welcome. The situation dawned on the
people, and they pOcketed their money,
and delivered themselv,s up to covert en-
ioymeut Of the episode. Halt dCzen
more passens ers entered.
ON. there is plenty of room, said Col
onel Jack. Walk right in and make your
selves at home. A blowout amt worth
anvthing as a blowout, unless body has
company. Tlen in a whisper to Colonel
Jim. But ain these New Workers friend
"? And amt they cool about it too
Icehergs amt anywhere. reckon they'd
tackle a hearse if it was goin their way.
More passengers got in; more yet, and
still more. Both seats were filled, and a
file of men were standing up holding on
to the cleats overhead. Parties with
baskets and bundles were climbing up on
the roof. Half suppressed laughter rip
pied up from all sides.
ssWen. for clean, cool, out-and out