The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1872-03-28
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

1.-Two Boston girls have recently become
paralyzed from the use of cosmetics.
"A popular mode ef reasoning-man and
woman putting their heads together. -... ~
= 1t is all very well to say "take things 40
they come," but suppose they DONE come. ..'
= A good farmer will never be satisfied with
his farming until he sees his land growing bet
ter every year. FRA,
Josh Billings says very truly, "You Il bet
things that amt So"
: We don't recommend advertising as the
best way to get a wife; but we know that it is
the best way to get good trade. ~ 81
A mans wife is his best lawyer, his Best,
counsel, his best judge, his best adviser, and.
also the cheapest and most reasonable.
-Loafers do not toll, neither do they spin :
but they manage to keep body and soul togeth-
er without working, which is a very fine art
Paper bed-quilts, for lightpess and COM
fort is the latest suggestion. We've known
editors who have been lying on paper for years.
and yet they are not happy. -
= An old farmer in New Hampshire recent
ly killed pig, and being asked how much il
weighed, replied that it did not weigh as much
as he expected, and he did not expect it would,
"A somewhat juvenile dandy, said to q
fair partner at ball: "Don't you think, miss,
replied "Well, sir, they may be coming, bue
they have not yet arrived"
= "Sir," said little clustering man to his
religious opponent, II say, sir, to what sect do
you think bclong?" "Well, I don't exactly
know" replied the other: "but to judge from
your make, size and appearance, l should say
you belonged to class called the insect"
- Smith and Jones were at the menagerie,
and the conversation turned on Darwin's theo-
ry. "Look at that monkey" said Smith
"Think of its being an undeveloped humanP
"Human !" said Jones, contemptuously; cts
no more human than I am"
An exchange, in describing fashionable
party, speaks of gallant who whispered to q
lady "and took her apart" and very ungal--
lantly indeed adds that "it is not very diff
cult feat to take lady apart these TIMES; but
then there is very little left of her afterwards"
"A youth who applied for q marriage IL.
ccnsc in Cambridge, Mass, the other day, was
reminded By the clerk of two previous applica-
tions, and said eyes, but the other two girls
didn't know wanted to get married till I
showed them the document-this one does"
He got the paper.
"A Western man was presented by a. young
lady with fine plaited-bo shirt, made with
an open back. He wore it hndside before for
year before he found out how it worked. On
being told of his mistake, he remarked that
he thought it strange the young woman should
put so much work on the back.
-"Do you cast things here7" inquired a.
Yankee, the other day, az he sauntered into
foundry and addressed the proprietor. Eyes,
we do" "You cast all kinds of things in iron,
eh?" was the next query. Certainly; don't
YOU see it is our business?" "Ah we'll, casta
shadow, will you?" He was cast out.
= One of the prettiest ornaments to a room
during winter may be furnished by a sweet
potato plant Placed in hanging basket lin
sandy and kept moist with occasional waterines
the vine will grow vigorously, clingng to the
cords which suspend the basket, and climbing
to the ceiling, or depending in beautiful fes-
toons beneath the basket.
A young celestial geologist has lifted US
out of the rut as regards our future fate. For
hundreds of years we have steadily believed
that in the end this planet will be parched up
like a scroll, and it is refreshing to find it
proved by this Individual that, so far from mel
ting with fervent heat we shall probably break;
in pieces from intense cold, and be distributed
through space in erolites.
1t is easy, no doubt, to journey alone in
the broad sunshine and on the beaten highway
of our lot; but over the midnight plain and
beneath the still immensity of darkness the
traveller seeks some fellowship for his wander
ings. And what is religion but the midnight,
hemisphere of life, whose vault is filled with,
the silence of God, and whose everlasting stars
if giving no clear light, yet fills the soul with
dreams Of immeasurable glory? 's s-s''