The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-05-24
PLAIN DEALER,


Wise men learn more by fools than
fools do by wise men.
He that shows his passion tells his
enemy where to hit him.
Take things always by their smooth
handle.
The largest room in the world-room
for improvement.
The thinking man has wings; the
acting man has only feet and hands.
A Green Bay man was mean enough
to elope with the only school teacher in
the town, thus shutting up the
school.
No bell can ring so loudly as a good
advertisement. People will believe what
they see rather than what they
hear
An exchange, wanting to compliment
a olive stock journal" says it is edited
by man whose head is full of live
stock.
Good is slow: it climbs, Evil is swift:
it descends. Why should we marvel
that it makes great progress in short
time?
Only two hundred and eighty four
days more Of Ulysses S. Grant.
Grant has become Liberal. He
gave 500 to the Thomas monumen,
fund.
Connecticut people have been expec-
ting than hen, which was setting On a
dozen apples, would hatch barrel Of
cider.
An English magazine recently pub
lished description of the great organs
of the world and omitted the Boston
one. Put it in the indirect DANA
ges
1t is said that ''all the office-hoIdera
under tue Government are going fur
Grant" OF course, for they we.
know that, if they don't, grant viii ''au
for them.
The campaign has already proven
that the argument to wither Gr.y.t
man is, Horace Greeley won't steal,
any way"
The plaintiff and defendent in an
action at law are like two men ducking
their heads in bucket and daring each
other to remain longest under water.
An Illinois paper speaks Of three men
who have gone crazy recently-"one for
love, one for religion and one on general
principles"
Train says, Fisk would have been
respectable fellow if he hadn't engaged
in gold speculations which Grant.
"Bretheren," said young Quaker,
lately married Il have married
daughter of the Lord!" ''The divil ye
hev!" calculated an interested Irish
man, eth be long time before ye see
yer father-in-law."
Political "bolts" just now are "nuts'
to the opposition.
A statistician gravely announces that
tall men live longer than short men?
"Have you had your earthquake"
is the last California yernacular for the
shakes: 60: So
A pan ,shourc. no more make his
honestya boast than woman sh, uld her
Write. To speak too much Of either
renders tlea questionable.
To seek the redress of grievances by
going to law, is IKE sheep running for
shelter in bramble-bush.
Women's Rights-Children.
Home Rule-Curtain lectures.
A Minnesota horse-thief, having
proved himself innocent, has been voted
$1,000 by the Legislature to retrieve
his reputation. Innocent horse thieves
should make note Of this.
"The main reason why civil service
reform was killed was because the
President would have been the first one
to fail on an examination"
Why is the letter r very unfortunate!
Because it is always in trouble. wretch
edness and misery, in the beginning Of
riot and ruin, and is never found in
peace, innocence or love.
A man who is not able to make bow
to his own conscience every moruing,
is hardly in condition to respectful
salute the world at any other time Of
the day.
The Chicago Post thinks that Creole
would surround himself with one of the
weakest and wickedest cabinets ever
heard Of. Wonder what sort OF pension
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