The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-03-15
,oHN IN LOUISVILLE.
,r,,. vow York suns Funny Man in
u" nc Metropolis of the Southwest.

The New YORK sun
% me Metropolis of the Southwest
,o'l.yrlln Letter to the New York SUM-
L"a',' ,"o, M 40, to Louisville It was He
M ~ Observation-Disclosures Day,and every
Wv ~, I ,nctbai Ratchet, and every cherry
,,so FIR miles around was cut down, 50
,nov ~ could grow up to do nothing but
never tell q lie. ,, ,..,u and
the IRON is large one this year. Boone
was lhG cuss who got here first, and to
his lay n bosom friend Is called boon
Sompa1ion IN Louisville. The original
Eon companion was Boston drummer.
# he hadn't had his heavy trunks he
~oull have got there before Boone.
Then inst as like as not, instead Of Lou
,ville Il would have been Boston drum
mGrsvillc. y,,,
jonisyileisnam after Louis NVlAny.
n"lv that don't know what WI means
g wi have to inquire. 1t was laid out in
';;3 The first house wasa block'house,
m0tin l77s, and the second was block.
Srs,l a Boston drummer who iloated
lawn the Ohio on u trunk, and sold God
,rys cordial to the Indians by sample to
r,ie en-, then sold guns to kill 'em, then
aid his prayers, and took q bath, and
Thought he was good man.
HISTORY OF LOUISVILLE. =
Fort Nelson was built in 1882. The
,own is seventy feet above l0w.water
mark. and the mark is, still there. When
Louisville was first discovered Louisville
wasn't there. The Indians had the whoOp.
inrCourh badly. 1t was then called war.
wboops and the women oil Louisville
have wore hoops since. The county Is
nlm.d after Joe Jefferson, with the Joe
eit out
Louisville, for thousands of years pre-
yols to 1918, had no mails, and the clti.
leps had never seen an umbrella. The
inst mail went horseback, and was
Litched to bush in the woods with q
niece Of meat tied to it. The postmaster
had sagaCions dog who would smell this
meat and 20 for it. He would eat the
meat and carry the mail bag to his master.
This is a history of the first mail.
THE PEOPLE.
Louisville embraces u variety Of objects,
aud the citizens embrace variety of OBJ.
ccls too. The people possess superior
intelligence, u high order of integrity and
play poker, and Christianity is Il little
Inclined to lie dormant, like unto poor
comed beet hash. The Christians are the
meat and the wicked folks are the potato,
and there is too little meat and 100 much
IotatO to make il real good.
Last week member OF q temperance
society came near getting "histed" here.
He told friend that he had been taking
a little exercise at hop scotch, and he WAS
brought before the society for taking hot
Scotch. There are busts of Clay in many
parts Of the city, and have seen them.
AlTnkcn man is bust Of clay.
TIE GAIT HOUSE.
went to the Gait House and said I'd
take a Gait. and was politely informed
that was the name OF the hotel. was
ukel il would register Says |, "no
thank you, don't want any register; give
me u room with stove into it,"
There are only thirty.siX Boston drum.
merS located here
Travelling around | saw Il sign. thread,
Free vaccination" take everything l
can get free, free lunches and such like,
aud 50 went in, and says l., "givc me
one" So he Cuta hole in my arm, and
rubbed quill on it; and l said, seeing it
was so cheap, he might give me another,
50 he bored hole in the other arm. Both
took, and now am q phenomenon; for 1t
broke out half way between the two, and
lhave a lovely cauliiower on TO my chin.
A respectable citizen Of Louisville told
me he had u hen that laid an egg every
day for Il year; and told him that was
nothing; that had laid n bed every night
for a year. - 4
An episode happened to me today. l
was in restaurant 10 get something
strong to take, when a belhgerent man
stepped up TO me and said, "Sir, you are
adamned fool"
Jumped back and shouted, "WhatY
lie took out a pistol, carving knife and
some ammunition and laid EN- on the
counter, and exclaimed, "Sir, You are a
damned fool" | looked at his armory
and said, "Sir, know it, That was u
strategy, and it prevented fight. /
thought that might be the custom in
Louisville, So | saw another man come
10 and | stepped up to him, and says l,
"Sir. you are damned tool" lie didn't
Sy know ii, but he knocked me down,
saw Spotted Tail 10 day; he is a coach
0S' john.