The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1872-09-06
Varieties.

coupling.
WHEN is a gun barrel chicken?
When it is a LILLE fo,0L.
A STORM is like a fish after hook
when it is going to abate.
No WONDER time is so often killed
when it is struck every hour.
"ExCUsE haste and bad pen" as the
pig said when he broke out.
AN En- glsh philosopher studies prison
life by being committed TO jail.
Why are blacksmiths always wicked
men? Because they are given to vice.
A MAN who works for living should
marry a woman taller than himself.
"The laborer is worthy of his higher
MANY persons write articles and send
them 10 an editor TO be corrected-as IL
an editors office was house OF correc-
ton.
81 WONDER what causes my eyes to be
SC weak ?" said fop to gentlHm
"They are in weak place" replied the
latter.
IT doesn't matter how watchtul and
vigilant girl is, if a rude fellow kisses
her, it is ten to one he will do 1t right
under her nose.
A LADY asked gentleman, who was
suffering from influenza, "My dear sir,
what do you use for your cold2' Five
handkerchief a day, madam"
A FELLOW who has actually tried it
lays that, although there are three
scruples to dram, the more drains you
take the less scruples you have.
The advertisement of a Western
stone-cutter reads, "Those who buy
tomb.stones of us look with pride and
satisfaction on the graves of their
friends
"Do YOU understand me now ?" thun'
dered country pedagogue to an urchin
at whose head he threw an lnkstand.
Owe got an inkling of what you
mean"
"MY SON." said man of doubtful
morals, putting his hand on the head
| of a young urchin, 81 believe Satan has
got hold of YOU" 81 believe so too,"
replied the boy.
whose life was insured for a large
amount, was seriously hurt by falling
! from wagon. There was some doubt
of his ever getting better, and at length
one of his friends wrote to the insur-
ance company, "Charley half dead,
| likee half money"
A YOUNG gentleman of Morristown,
n. j., was playing at haymaking with
a rural Maud Muller, and rather liked
it until swarm of yellow jackets crawl
ed up his nankeen trowsers. Maud
! laughed heartily at the Irish Jig he
danced, until she got "some of it in
her'n."
Two Irishmen on sultry night took
refuge under the bed clothes from q
party Of mosquitoes. At last one of
them, gasping fro m heat, ventured to
peep beyond the bulwarks, and espied
FREELY which had strayed into the
room. Arousing his companion with a
punch, he said: Fergus, it's on use.
Ye might as we'll come out. Here's one
the craythers searching for US with a
lantern :"
THREE little boys were disputing as to
| NhOSC ldlhCI 6dlu lHt SHOIbtSI grace.
First boy-"My father says, Lord we
thank You for these provisions Sec
ond-"And mine says, Father, bless
this food to us Third boy-"Ah,
but mines the best of all. He shoves
his plate up to mamma, and says, "Darn
we, fill up"
THE following is the way they call out
the figure of a "reeln in Georgia ::
"Dance to the gal with the yellow
shawl; now down outsides and up the
middle; turn to your partner, Isaac
Smach, and now to that entire stranger;
sachez to the right and left; ia de tan,
da du de; now to Peter Switheralls
daughter; turn to your partner, every
one; set to the gal with the faring frili;
balance one and spin about to the girl
with the hole in the heel Of her stock.
ing"