The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1872-01-11
TNeeklp Gimes
Double
THURSDAY, JANUARY 1l1S72.
Mark Twain Rarbered

The racy article by Mark Twain on Bar
bers'' in the Galafy, last summer, will be re-
membered by all The article was in the
humorist's happies, vein, and many q mar
who recognized its truthful, If slightly over
drawn, statements, enjoyed q hearty laugh
while perusing it. II fell likes vet blanket
on the tonsorial profession, who, from one
end OF the land to the other vowed revenge
upon its author if he ever placed himself in
any of their clutches. Among the tonsorial
artists in Syracuse who longed for a chance
| to ego tor" the writer was Jacob Gilger.
"Only let me get chance at Mark Twain, !"
said Jake. He will stray into my shop some
day, as il is the best in town, and / will Tx
him worse than King William ever fixed
Napoleon" Probably Jake never expected
to have an opportunity of getting even with
Twain, but such an opportunity did present
itself, Wednesday afternoon, and this is how
Jake improved it: The great humorist lee
tured in Wieting Open House on Wednes-
day night, and wishing to make q present.
able appearance before his audience, he
strayed up into Jake Gilger's barber shop to
get a clean shave. A gentleman present
whispered to Jake that the man in his chair
was Mark Twain, and on that hin; Jake
'went for him." Selecting the dullest razor
in the shop, he sharpeDed it up q little, and
then Selling Twain by the nose with . grip
that would bring down . bullock, he COM
menced to lather him. He soaped him from
chin to eyebrows, and rushed the lather
brush about an inch up his nose, and thence
into both ears, poor Twain in the meantime
snorting and suffering like steam engine
blowing off steam. In vain he protested that
he did not want his eyebrows and forehead
shaved. 'Keep still, says Jake, 81 know
my business" After soaping him until he |
looked like an Albino, Jake laid on the |
blade. The first stroke brought tears to |
Twain's eyes. The second brought him to |
sitting position, and with an exclamation,
81 say, that razor is too duh TO shave me |
with" clay down." says Jake, thrusting /
him down into the chair again; THAT razor
will cut a hair; know my business"
Twain groaned, and Jake pulled until the
beard was of, and good portion ofthe skin
with it. After shaving, Jake proceeded 10
wash him up, selecting the dirtiest towel in
the shop, one that was used for wiping of
hair dye, and was as spotted as Joseph's
coat. Jake soused the water in his eyes and
nostrils, and Their wiped him of. The spec.
talon by this time were unable TO control
their laughter, and burst ont into loud peals,
in which Jake heartily joined. Twain
saw the Joke, but kept quiet.
When Jake told him his hair
was coming out, and offered to sell them a
bottle Of hair restorative. price So per bottle,
Twain replied: "Well, rather want my
hair to fall out. l have too much for COM
fort" Jake then offered to sell him a bot
lie Of "bloon of YOUTH telling him that
be was badly freckled. "Am l." said Mark.
'Well rather like that. II was good
looking, and fair to gaze upon, the ladies
would all fall in love with me, and that would
make my wife uneasy. As it is, she allows
ne to roam about the country without fear.
She knows my ugliress will protect me-"
Jake saw he could not persecnie Mark any
urther, and after brushing him of N lusty
manner, said: ''Mr Twain, how did you
ike your shave?" "Oh!" said Mark, this
S nothing new. Every barber in the coun-
ry goes for me in the same style. am used
o ii, in fact, rather like it." Call again."
Not if i can help it," replied Mark
Good day." Jake politely bowed Mr.. !.
Twain out Of the shop, and sent for gallon
f lager beer to recuperate his exhausted en-
rsies. But he feels that one barber is even
'ith Mark Twain.-Swdcuse Courier.