The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1872-11-08
The Married Life.

The union that has been founded on
selfishness may be said to find the seeds
of dissolution in the very ceremony that
has brought the parties together; while,
on the other hand, where right feelings
have been at work, these should now
spring up n fountain Of love, whose
waters should go on deepening and
widening until the earthly scene has
terminated.
Married love must be nourished by
the maintenance and even increase of
those attentions and qualities, which
first attracted the lovers regard. The
with which some welded
people trifie with the arts which orig
inally made them engaging in each
Others eyes, reminds us of this anecdote:
"You pattern husbandr' writes Dr.
Miller of Birmingham, "dOn't you recol-
lect the time when you lOnged that she,
who is now your wife, should drop her
pocket handkerchief, so that you might
have the ecstacy of picking it up again?
Are you as anxious to do il now? Tell
the truth. You are very loving, very
happy, but not quite so attentive. And
you, wives, are you as anxious to make
a cage for the husband as you were to
make the net for the lover? You were
careful not to let your lover see a curl
out of place. Before marriage, not for
worlds would you have been caught in
deShdbiLle. Pay your husband the COM
pliment of being as anxious to please
him as when he was your lover. We
know few things in the annals of mar
ried life, more touching than CObbet's
to his wife, when she was
with him in America. She dreaded a
thunderstorm, and the sight of dark
ening sky was at all times sufficient to
make him leave every other engage
ment, and hasten to her side. The
thunder and lightning" he writes, ''are
tremendous in America, compared with
what they are in England. My wife
was at one time very much afraid of
thunder and lightning, and as is the
feeling of all such women, and, indeed,
all men too, she wanted company, and
particularly her husbands, in those
times of danger. / knew, well, of
course, that my presence would not di-
minish the danger, but be what it might,
if within reach of home, used to quit
my business, and hasten to her the mo-
ment l perceived a thunderstorm ap-
preaching. Scores of miles have /, first
and last, ran on this errand in the streets
of Philadelphia. The FTenchmen, who
were my scholars, used to laugh at me
exceedingly on this account, and some
times when / was making an appoint
ment with them, they would say with
smile and n bow, '.SoUrc Ia tOHncrc tOl-
iOtTs, Monsieur COJbctrn We cannot
wonder that Mrs. Goblet reciprocated
such attentions, and that her husband
could surprise his friends when he left
them one evening 1T eleven o'clock to
drive home afterwards twenty-three
miles in the country, 10y assuring them
that Mrs. Goblet would be found sitting
up for him. ''She iCds up,n he con-
tinues, "and had fire for us to sit down
to. She had not committed the matter
TO a servant; her servants and her chill
dren were all i'm bed, and she was up to
perform the duty of receiving her hus-
band and his friend. You did not eX-
pect himr the latter said to Mrs. Cob
bet TO be sure / did, she replied; 'he
never disappointed me in his life"
Goblet and his wife seem to have under
stood what a modern journalist wrote on
the subject of welded happiness-"LOve
in household is thing to be worked
for; not an over-ripe pear which viii
drop into the mouth of the first gaping
clown"
AS even the best of qualities may run
into excess, care must be taken to pre-
vent affection from assuming that inOr-
dinate and idOlatrous character, which
in the end becomes a source of pain to
all parties, and which lays the founda-
tiOn of Jealous and other fanciful emo
tions. Judgment and good sense also
are requisite to prevent excess of affec-
ton breaking out into that uXOTiOusness
or over attention so intOlerable to third
parties, and which has provoked the
reproOf of the satirists of English man
ners. Charles Lamb has left on record
his humorous protest against the rude
ness of one married lady, who, because
her husband had not arrived to supper,
sent away the dish of oysters to be kept
for him, and blamed the inattentiOn of
another, who sent dish of his favorite
cherries down to the bottom of the table
where her husband was, recommending
to Mr.. Lamb, in their place, n plate of
goOseberries. Dean Swift had century
before, ridiculed the same class of faults.
Good temper is the sunshine of the
domestic circle, and must be priced and
cultivated accordingly. Fretfulnesss,
peevishness, sullenness, bitterness and
anger must be viewed as so many
kissing snakes, and driven from every
hearth that claims the distinction of
being happy. When tempted to give
way TO any i'll feelings, self-restraint
must be exercised and mutual forbear-
ance shown. Much will be accomplished
by carrying out the determination that
both shall never lose their temper at the
same time-the one bringing water
where the other brings fire. "Let them
treat each others failings," it has been
well said, "with lenity, and learn to be,
as occasion serves, blind, deaf, and
dumb. Not sullenly dumb, but serenely
dumb. Not silent from moOdishness
and passiOn, but silent from reason and
affection, looking out the while like q
mariner in a dark night for the first
streaks of the dawn, and mailing it with
/ n grateful welcome" \ gentle contrast,
/ n weIl-arranged diversity, gives n relish
/ TO married life. It is the necessary con-
/ dition. however, of such a diversity
that the parties should view thing:
occasionally from a different point oI
Wow and wisdom, will be required
therefore Sy mutual concessions, gentle
ness. GOOD humor, and forbearsnce, tC
nrevent such diversities Of taste or Opin.
ION becoming the source of quarrel
irritation. or to use a phrase OF mod
ern coinage, "naggle.n a clergyman
who had tied the marriage knot fol
many a couple, was careful always L
vbisner TO the bride, rs his parting
counsel. HBe sure never to have thu
last wordii-an advice which is excel
Ient hut which is surpassed by th'
Recommendation that neither party
should take the first one.
Tn \ sick room there should be NJ
standing liquid, not even the purest coli
,,.ater The tainted atmosphere is sur