The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1872-07-03
Cousin Sally Dillard.
BY HAMILTON G. JONES.

'"'N pSSi N"tlcb upOil w luuYll
over its exquisite righteousness,
wo will give it Il start again.1
SUENE.--rN, court of Justice in
South Carolina. -.
y boardless disciple Of Thomis
rises and thus addresses the court:
"May ii please your worship and
you gentlemen Of the jury, since
il has been my fortune (good or
bad l. will not say(, to exercise
, myself in legal disquisition, it has
never bcialIcn mo to be obliged 10
prosecute SO dircfnlly marked an
assault. A moro wiltul, violent
and dangerous battery, and finally
y moro diabolical breach of tho
peace, has seldom happened in n
civilized country, and | daro say
it seldom has been your duty to
pass upon one so shocking to
benevolent feelings, rs this which
took place over at Captain Rice's
in this county; but you will hear
from tho witncsses."
The witnesses being sworn, two
or thrco wcro examined and do
posed: Ono said that he heard the
noise but did not sec tho fight;
another that he saw tho row, but
did not know who struck first, and
another that ho was very drunk
and couldn't say much about the
sllrimmage.
Lawyer Chops--1 am sorry,
gentlemen, to havo occupied your
timo with tho stupidity Of the wit
ncsscs examined. 1t arises, gentle
men, altogether from II misappro-
hcnsion on my part. Had l known
as | do, that J. had q witness who
was acquainted with all tho circum-
stances Of tho case, and who was
able to mako himself clearly under
stood to the court and Jury, I
should not have trespassod 80 long
on your patience. Como forward
MIR. Harris, and be sworn. a
So forward comes tho witness,
a fat, chulfy old man, u "leotlo"
corncd, and took his oath with IN
air.
Chops-IIarris, wo wish you to
tell about the riot that happened
tho othor day at Captain Rico's,
and as good deal Of time has al,
ready boon wasted in circumlo,
cution, we wish you to be compon.
duous, at the same timo as explicit
as possible. .. l.aas.. .7.T e.
Harris-Adzakly, (giving the
lawyer q knowing wink, at the
samo time clearing his throat,
Captain Rice, he gin q treat, and
cousin Sally billiard sho, comes
over to cur house and axod mo if
my wifo sho mount go2 l told
cousin Sally billiard my wifo was
poorly, being as how sho had q
touch Of rheumatics in tho hip
and tho big swamp was up in tho
road there having bcon a great
deal of rain lately, but howsooycr
as it was sho, cousin Sally billiard
my wife sho mout go. We'll cousin
Sally Dillard then axed mo if Nose
he moutn't go? I told Cousin Sally
billiard that he was the foreman
Of the crap, and the crap was
smartly in tho grass, but howso
cvor, as it was she, cousin Sally
billiard, Nose he mout 20.
Chops--ln the name Of common
sense, Mr.. .uarris, what do yol
moan by this rigmorolc?
Witncss-Captain Rice, ho gir
a treat, and cousin Sally billiard
she came over to my house ant
asked mo if my wifo sho mouth
| go? and l. told cousin Sally Dill
lard
Chops--Stop, sir, if you please
we don't want to hear about you
Sally billiard or your wife; tell IL
about the fight at Rico's
Witncss-Well, l " i'll sir, if yo,
will let mo.
Chops-WeIl, sir, go on.
| Witncss-Well, sir, Captai1
Rice, ho gin u treat and cousil
Sally billiard she camo over to m,
house and asked mo if fmy wife sh
MOUNT 90.
Chops-IIero it is again. Wit
ness please to stop. ... ...
.Witness-Well, sir, what do yo'
want?
Chops-Wc want to know abou
tho fight, and you must not pre-
coed in this impcrtinont story. ID
you know anything about til
mattor before tho court2 81, 't
Witness-To be sure L do. S., .
Chops-Woll, 60 on then, an
, tell it, and nothing olso.
Witness--WolD, Captain Ric'
ho gin " treat,--
= Chops-Thls is intolerablc. Ma
. it please the court, I move .ths
f tho prisoner be committed for
& contempt. Ho scerns to bo triflin
!, with tho court. "'.' F.'a q ' ~ ~ Z
eE Court-Witncss, YOU i arc bcfor
) tho court ofjustjce, and unless yo
"a behave Yourself IN d moro bocop
= ling manner you willbo fsentt
u] jail;so begin and ton me what yo
y know abouttthe. fight at 4Rieo'sat
yjs I Witunaa---Welly yoenflenan1 Ia,