The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1872-02-24

within. He has written bul '0' .Sacarstion Of
score. To Shelton is due the evl, the most
words that have baffled the skill OF lam
accomplished tormentors of the English
guage.
ssMy friend, confide in me-" continued
Dick, smacking his lips for the Lumpeter Bur
gundy is not to be tasted every day. h'u
are i'll at ease"
cat the knees. A trife." .h
sgTo remember ones troubles in such
scene is veal" ,a,,, T
s0To forget ones trousers Is madness,
wb;snered. with clenched teeth, in his ear.
"One's-P' calculated Shelton, lalhtiy,
% he turned upon countenance naturally
wan and lengthy, bnt now whitened.
Nv friend gazed at me sorrrowfully:
$50 fair aboyep' he murmured. 80
well-so singular below! Who now i'll this
brilliant assembly-graced, as perceive, with
the presence of many beautiful land giggling)
women-would imagine that you, sitting here
SO well got up, radiant with artlllelal mlrth,
are a type OF Milton's sin y
| replied, CURLY, that accepted the situa-
| ton. and be:was pleased to term it, with the
calmness that seemed expedient, and that
having done all that men could do, I awaited
the DEGREES of fate and the arrival of the
waiter, to whom | had offered a sovereign to
smuggle in my oyerails at the first opportune
moment.
lawfully lacky for you, my boy, there's to
be no speech-making continued Shelton.
''We would have had you on your defenseless
legs in no time"
''Haye you seen the toast list, gentlemen?
asked portly member of the guild on my left,
as he politely offered card.
There was catalogue of at least twenty
toasts, with names appended as prOposers I;
and, as proposing that of the guest of the eve
ming, the Baron de Bette Fauve, Reginald
Charterisr'
At the same moment nete was placed in
my hand. 1t was from the chairman.
"Oblige us. We know your ready elo-
quenee, Baron strnck with your face and
manner, Wishes to hear you speak. Touch
up the IONS"
Snatching out my pencil-case, wrote;
''Throat impracticable. Uvula cut off this
morning. Should create more aston ishment
than interest if forced upon my legs"
breathed. That peril was averted. My
spirits rose1as the merry teast proceeded; and
began to see more distinctly the humorous
side of my little misadeentHre. The atmos-
phere was warm and pleasant Why, had
been present at many dinner in the north
where men dined, from preference, without
their-that is, in kits. True, had not ex-
actly a kilt; but, sven we're compelled to
stand forth from my present retirement, the
exhibition of knee, the publication of calf
would be no greater than is legally sanctioned
within 800 miles of this spot.
Ha! a sensation, ''Pray silence,' &C.,
grace. "Non Nobis." Fhea the usual loya
toasts, and we drank prosperity to the seyera
collateral branches of the reigning house
1.-THE Lumpeters were nothing if not loyal
before we arrived at the great toast of the
eyening-the Baron de Bete-Fauve. This
was given by the chairman himserI and with
the baron's reply lin Freneh(, and counter
proposition of the health of the ladies, was
received with the greatest enthusiasm.
The excitement was just settling down
when--=
"Hallor' exclaimed SHELTON, "what's up
now? is any one expected, wonder2 They
are putting big velvet chair next to Bette
Fauye. 1t must be swell. Can the price
Of
$50 long as it is not intended for my hum.
BILE person." replied, with an easy smile, 81
am perfectly"
Il beg your pardon, Mr., Charteris,' said
the low voice of the head steward, who, fol
lowed by two attendant walters, had ap.
preached us unobserved. tThe chair, sir
presents his compliments and begs you will
do him and the Baron de Bete-Fauve the ia
vor to occupy the seat that has been placed
for you between them"
NY hCdlU stOOQ sttlsJ Ay udlT rose. "A
chill of horror shot through me.
'The baron, sir, speaks no English, and
through him and the chair has been hard al
it all dinner, neither of 'em has understood
word" said the steward, confidentialy
1.-The chair, sir, and the company generally
added Mr.. Feastful, with poetic exaggeration
would all witness with pleasure the specta
Gle of your Introduction to the baron.'
"The baron be-" l know not what was
about to say My voice faltered. 1 had
caught glimpse of the fair occupants of the
gallery, leaning over the balustrade in their
eagerness to examine the favored individual
for whom the chair of state had been so os-
tentatiousy prepared, and vision of myself
marching up the hall, clad in my burlesque
Chinese trowsers, the mark of every eve,
almost made me reel in my chair
shuddered, strove to speak, conceived a
wild thought of diving under the table. when.
whish! with lurid, fitful swirl out went the
enormous luster, with all the minor lights
following suit. We were in total darkness.
l will not describe the confusion that sue
ceeded, the screams of laughter from the gal.
lery, the scramble and the crash below.
Torches cleaned in the doorways almost be-
fore we knew what had happened, and the
accident that had occasioned the sudden ex-
tinction OF our light was remedied within q
few minutes.
But when order was restored, one chair
stood vacant at that hospitable board
Whether its occupant had been trampled un-
der foot in the disorder, or had vanished with
the lights was never known. My private
opinion is that, while anxious inquiries were
being made in the Lumpeters' hall, the miss
ing gentleman was warming his legs at his
domestic hearth, slipping his grog, and smiling
at the peril he had so narrowly escaped. All
the Year Round.