The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1872-11-21
Lady Pillula.'
RY THE AUTHOR OF "a1Nx's RABY."

"
age, with the withcring marks OF time deep
" written OH her features and mittened
hands. Yet no small vitality remained in
her frame. She had nothing to do, 80 she
took medicine. With little interest in those
who were about her to attract attention, she
fixed it on herself, and that part of the body
which be came the sole and specific object
of her regard was her intestines. 1t is
affirmed by physicians that one may, by
nervous concentration of thought upon one
spot of the body, induce or aggravate 2 local
morbid action. This was Lady Pillula's
peculiarity Her passion was pills; VI
these she was at once an artist, aconnoisseur,
and niscr. Vast collections of empty pill
boxes numbered her room. She took pills
before she rose in the morning, before break
fast. at eleven in the forenoon, at one: She
took Holloway's as an appetizer for lunch,
and counteractcd the effects of that untime-
II meal with the celebratedanti- bilious pills
Of Cookie. Her dinner was inaugurated by
three boluses of rhubarb, and concluded with
aloe. Her nocturnal podophyllin was never
omitted. She scanned the newspaper every
morning for one purpose, the discovery Of
new pills; while her sister. Lady, W., sought
the columns of fashionable intelligence, snd
Lord w. perussd the stock lists, she was
busy registering the latest novelty in pillular
invention. On the first occasion of her
reading the advertisement Of the notorious
Revalenta Arabica, headed, "No more pills
or any other medicine" the announcement
proved too much for her, and she tainted.
She only recovered on the exhibition Of q
whole box Of "Brandreth's.' . One form Of
pill she abhorred, namely, the minute glob-,
ules of the homepathistst These she cen.!
Ffaen,neda utfsfs anszbrth5 striai
adult interior.
The most agreeable surprise you could
pass upon her was to present her with box
Of new pills. She would take them the
same evening and pronounce on their quail
ties the next day with the precision and
custo of a connoisscur. Indeed, the mania
affected her morality. She became morbid
in pursuit of her fancy; invading her sisters
boudoir, or even Lord WIS dressing-room,
in the hope Of finding some stray box of her
condiments. If a visitor happened to carry
such specifies about with him, or left them
in his room, Lady Pillula took 1.-THE of them.
Ske had several times been uearly poisoned.
Once she'swallowed numbsr OF sbuckshot
which an incautious sportsman 1had turned
into an empty pill,box on unloading his gun.
In another instance some glass beads met
with similar accident. ..,
One item Of comfort to be extracted from
this strange but authentic case, should not
pass unmarked. Notwithstanding the vast
numbers Of portentous patents, from the exhl-
bition of which innumerable consequences
were pledged to ensue, Lady Pillula's organs
seemed contrived to resist them all 1t was
only affected by the blue pill in unusual
quantities, or prescriptions administered by
her physicians; the harmlessness Of most pat
ept pills was source ofvexation to her though
it proved the simplicity of materials with
which people are gammoned.
Lord W. used to amuse himself occasional.
tly at his sister-in-law's expense. He asked
Savory of Corbyn for their latest inventions,
and brought home boxes of them. He him.
self silly mixed some. rare and monstrous
compositions, ranging from pitch to beeswax
or bread, and was entertained to find that
the old lady placed some Of these higher in
her standard of excellence. When, howev-
er, he twitted her with her credulity, and
Ewith the perils to which she was exposing
herself by her unreasonable addiction to such
fraudulent devices, she replied upon him
rather, sharply: -.., 4,
Everybody takes pills ofaome some sort"
she said. "Some swallow opinions wholesale
without knowing much of what is in them
Some people take their priests prescription
as if it were certain to contain specific foI
their souls.--Others take their political
ideas from political quacks, and gulp. ther'
with the most credulous simplicity. l have
seen you take for granted any pill the editor
of the Chimes makes up for you ofamorning
and having known you to be the worse foi
it. Other people"-here she looked wicked
ly at her brother-in-law-"are not 80 simple" :"
A newspaper man in Boston, member
in good standing of the Bachelor Club, who
from the nature of his business, never at
I ftempts to effect a capture Of the early worm
was few mornings since, awakened by