The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-06-13
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.


Black friars cooks.
4 doctor calls his dog Cinchona, on ac-
count of the bitterness of its bark.
zone of those things 70 fellow can End
out" A good husband after Ii p. m.
A Wisconsin editor speaks ola wind
which 'just sat on its hind legs and
howled''
The max .ho 'stoci upon his own re-
sponsibility'is to be indicted fer infanti-
eide.
A man whom you can hire to work on q
farm for nothing and board himself, will
just about earn his wages.
A Yale joker remarked that if all flesh
is grass, then one of the students is Meth
er more nor less than hay stack.
A big fellow was Boosting of his size,
when gentleman quietly remarked: And
yet you look small
A minister at an eating house gave the
order, Roast beef, ell done, thou good
and faithful servant
A Danbury agriculturist has put bum
die Of straw upon his barn because the
straw shows which way the wind blows.
A grocer had pound Of sugar returned
with note stating too much sand for ia
BILE use, and not enough for building pur-
poses
A gentleman recently created hustle
on Broadway by simply asking lady the
news. She thought he intended his remarks
TO be personal.
A lazy man in Vermont fatters himself
that be won't have to get up cold mornings
and kindle the fire il. the future state. The
idea is not so pleasant to some.
| say, John, where did you get that
rogue's hat?' please your honor, said
John, Its an old one of yours that mis-
ses gave me yesterday
The Mariposa man who lost his ear in
fight, and afterward had it replaced wrong
end up, is obliged to stand on his head to
hear straight
A young gentleman recently created
quite sensation while reading to a circle
of young ladies poetical effusion, " To
Belle" by pronouncing the last word in
two syllables.
why is dis hat ike de United States ;
said Pompey to Squash, holding up his di-
lapidated beaver. 'Cos-cos-dunno-
niger well, cos it's not subject to a
e-cwa.'
Her adyicc-A Quaker lady advised her
son, who was doctor, to enlist with the
rebels if he wished to aid the Union for,
said she, thee will kill more than thee
cures
They cheer their winter evenings in
Minnesota with ghost parties. The tickets
are illustrated with skull and cross-bones
and the supper consists Of a skeleton tur-
key.
De Quincy mentions chapter in Won
Trails work on Iceland, which is entitled
Concerning the Snakes of Iceland The
cnt'-e chapter consists of these six words
There are no snakes in Iceland
\ country EDITORS sole editorial in one
weeks issue Of his paper was to the effect
that if anything would make a man feel
juicy about the heart, is to talk velvet to a
pair of sky-colored eyes, by moonlight in a
clover.feld
Mrs. Moneymakc was giving directions
to her newly installed footman, when She
remarked: Thomas, I'm surprised at
Your bringing note like that in your fist
In footur, always bring it on a saliva"
Thompson is not going to do anything
more in conundrums. lie recently asked
his wife the difference between his head
and a hogshead and sh, said there was
none. lie says that is not the right ar
swcr.
A prisoner arragncd before Recorder
in New Orleans was told Il really don t
know whether had better fine you one or
ten dollars what's your idea about it >
Prisoner. -"Iour Honor, all | have to
plead is that YOU will not set down auglt
in malice
Mrs. phobe Schofcld, age stated at l05,
has been in Washington, seeking pension
due to her husband (now dead), who served
in the Revolutionary war. When she was
introduced to the President, and he shook
hands with her, she said: q I saw tie first
President and now have taken the hand
Of the last | ever shall"
Edwin FORESTS agent lost $4,000 of his
masters money, the other day, in the bar
hcr shop Of the Continental, Philadelphia.
lie supposes tia, he dropped it on tie
floor, AMI that some individual who WASH t
honest picked it up and held fast to it in 81
lcnce. NIr. Forrest says that its all very
wellto say on the stage that "he who steals
ny purse steals trash, but when it comes
down to real life, and disgusting, sober
reality, it alters the ease very materially.
\ LADY sent her Irish servant for new
velvet manti,la which was at her dress