Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1872-10-17

men into convulsions of hilarity. 1t is
even probable that directors of tottering
companies have closely studied this fact,
for it is usually to the man who loves his
Joke that is committed the duty of de-
claring the dividends of lid per share.
But it is not enough for us to see our
favorite joker stand up in public place
and banter us agreeably about the money
we have lost. We dearly love to see him
hold one of those posts of dignity and
emolument where the least of his funny
sayings is couched upon paper to be
transmitted to posterity.
The Judge who loves his joke and the
Magistrate who loves his joke are both
types we venerate and cherish. Who has
not taken up his journal and dwelt with
emotion on the report of the trial where
the Judge has kept his hearers in fits dur
ing whole summers day by succession
of irresistible pleasantries? And the
Magistrate who loves his jokel Is there
anything comparable to the scene in
police court when the cheerful stipendi-
ary has got out of bed the right side and
comes down brisk and fresh to his days
work? There is in attendance a man
who has been bitten by his neighbor's
dog, and wants to see the quadruped
dealt with according to law. 1t is real
treat then to watch the face of the magis-
trate as he throws out the well-relished
joke, "And what can 1 do for you? Do
you want me to bite the dog?" At this
the Clerk of the court becomes epileptic
and holds his sides, the public shake with
mirth, the policemen scream and have to
cling to each other to keep themselves
from falling. The only person who does
not show himself becomingly delighted is
the man who has been bitten
The joker is always excellent in can
vassing; excellent again at the nomina-
tions, where he displays peculiar talent
for Sinking unpleasant questions. The
cross grained elector who has drawn up
political catechism, divided into separate
queries with hundred and one points of
interrogation, is reduced to naught as
soon as he opens his mouth, and the Joker
usually sails in without being weighted
with anything unpleasant in the shape of
compromising pledges. In the House his
work is easy and sure to be profitable.
He badgers the Ministers, pulls the
speeches of the Treasury bench to pieces,
sets the whole House quaking with laugh
ter, and ends by rendering himself so for
midable that at the first convenient op-
portunity he is offered Colonial Govern
orship to get him out of the way, or ap-
he may put his talents at the service of
the Ministry. For the functions of mem
bers of the Government such man is in
valuable; indeed a Cabinet which does
not possess Minister fond of his joke is
Cabinet only half-armed. There is none
but right honorable joker who can act
as lightning conductor, and divert into
pleasant channels the bolts which even
the best of Cabinets have launched at
them. Has anything gone wrong? Have
few hundred British subjects been
massacred somewhere? Has some bran
new new ship that was relied on to do
wonders foundered unaccountably on
its first voyage? Up rises the Minister
who loves his joke, and the matter is
explained breezily and cheerfully
to the satisfaction of everybody. 1t is the
same with the Bishop who loves his joke;
there is much popularity in store for a
divine so gifted. If Bishop be gloomy
inevitably falls foul of Dissenters, black
ems reams of foolscap, publishes refuta-
tions by the hundred weight, and gets
himself into hot water up to the neck.
The joking Bishop knows trick worth
two of fthat. The greatest length he con-
sents to go is the short epigrammatic let
ter to the papers, slightly spiced with a
quotation from Horace. If this fats.
there is the lively anecdotal speech at the
May meetings; and it is very strange, in
deed, if, after this, the public do not take
the part of His Lordship, and make sport
of the Dissenters. On the whole, it
should perhaps be said that the man who
loves his joke-Judge, Magistrate, Min
lister, NJ. P, or Bishop-is perhaps the
most pleasant of social stumbling-blocks.
True, his province is often to bamboozle
one and to throw one off the track one is
following. But never mind; there are
stumbling blocks over which one falls
with a groan and a muttered impreca-
ton there are others which simply
throw one over into the dust and make
one laugh. Our friend, the inveterate
is one of the latter.-L0nd01 Pail Mall
Gazette.
A FRENCH paper, the Independence de
pEst, relates that at a village near Floren-
vile uxembourg) gentleman walking
along the side of wood, saw some bees
swarming on struggling branch of an
oak tree. He went to fetch hive, and
returned with a wood-cutter named
Guiot, who climbed the tree and, sitting
astride the branch, cut of the extremity
of it, upon which the swarm hung. An
unexpected result followed: instead of
falling to the ground the swarm dis
persed, and, rising like whirlwind, set
tied on the head of the unlucky Guiot,
who was still sitting on the branch, 45
shuddered. Surely, they thought, he will
be seized with giddiness, and, tortured
by thousand stings, he must fall to the
groundi But Guiot called up all his
strength of mind, and remained perfectly
still till the swarm had formed two long
wreaths hanging from his temples, and
waving as he moved; then, half blinded
| by the insects, which also covered his
face and body, he contrived to descend
| from his elevated position, taking the
greatest care not to irritate this living
mantle. When he arrived on terra frmC
hive was placed on his shoulder, bu
three hours elapsed before the bees would
take possession of their new home. Wher
this happy change was effected, the poo
woodcutter's wild delight testified to thu
intensity of the anxiety and discomfor
he had endured.
THE Amherst, Va, Enterprise tells thi
story: "On the land of Thomas Hughe
is a bold spring of cold water, which con
tinually throws out peach-stones in pei
feet state of preservation. Bushels O
stones have been cleared away, and stil
they come. We have no doubt that man,
years ago, before the memory of ou
people, there was distillery at thi
spring, and that it now bursts throug
the mass of stones below the surface an
throws them out. We know a first-rat
large peach orchard in this county whic
grew in the following singular manner
Mr.. Stennett cleared the land, put i
, tobacco, and the third year wheat, an
an orchard of peaches came up on th
land, and are now growing and bearing
1t was ascertained that some forty G
more years ago the land was cultivated
and an orchard on the place, and it ha
: grown up, and when cleared by Nj
, Stennett, the land was in second -growt
! timber"
THE characteristic of the umbrella
its power of changing shapes. You ma
leave bran new silk umbrella with a
/, ivory and rosewood handle at any publ
! gathering, and within three hours it wi
transform itself into light blue or fade