The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-05-19
A SCENE ON TIE CARS.
Settlement Of the Disputed Questions,
Does He Swear and Can He Farm?
The Sylvan Retreat at Chappaqua
as Paying Investment.
THE SAGE UP A TREE.


five minutes past eight Harlem train yesterday
morning, with the intention OF having his soul
once more in the nvigorating and soothing joys Of
wood-chopping.
NOT A BROTHER-IN-LAw.
II is due to Mr.. Alvin ]. Johnson at the outset
that reparation should be made in order to set him
right before somewhat evil-minded public.
Nearly all the newspapers have mentioned him as
a brotherin-law Of Mr. Greeley, but both he and
Mr.. Greeley dscaim that somewhat unsavory
relationship. Mr.. Johnson is merely an old friend
OF many years standing who, out OF regard for Mr..
Greeley personally, insists upon the philosopher
making his house his home.
NOT AN OFFICE-SEEKER.
~ don't want an Office, and don't expect one
and wouldn't take one" says Mr.. Johnson on this
subject, land believe, as the HERALD says this
morning, that brothers-in-law forever debarred
from ONCE holding under the Greeley admnstra-
ton yet must persist in it for his sake rather than
my own, that am not brothernlaw.n
THE TRIP UP.
The usual groups OF eager spectators at the depot
and on the train craned their necks ana distendcd
their eyes to get a view OF the great Sage. Two
baggage smashers, with truck loads of trunks
dropped their trucks to give and receive the in
formation that there was old Horace. He
took seat In the rear car which
was comfortably filed and was immersed
deeply in the morning papers. He studied the
HERALD most deeply, and seemed disappointed that
1t had no editorial comment upon him or upon the
general Presidential question. He took no part in
the conversation that the other gentlemen of the
party carried on. He continued immersed in his
papers, not even lowering them from before his
eyes while the cars were numbering through the
long, dark tunnel.
FIENDIsH PLOT.
Presently the train boy came along with prize
candy. He flung q package into Mr.. Greeley's lap.
The philosopher made no movement Then the boy
came around and collected his packages again. BY
this time the sage had finished the HERALD and had
resorted to the city newspaper that most bitterly
opposes him. He read the editorial invective
with calm, unrufled brow. The passen-
gers in the car looked anxiously to see If he
was nettled. There was not q sign Of
1t. Then, when he had commenced on the most
conspicuous democratic sheet which opposes him.
public expectation rose. lie would show his vexa-
ton now surely. Not sign of it. His brow was
calm and unruied and his face as placid as
ever. Then the train boy, unceasing In his tor
turing experiments, brought along a bundle OF
weekly pct0rials, in of which were two or
three outrageous caricatures Of the Philosopher and
one OF these he tossed into Mr.. Greeley's lap The
Sage took il up mechanically and glanced at the
caricatures. The passengers now I'm a ferment
The good man would certainly rip out an oath.
Not So however. He looked blankly at the pictures
OF himself for a moment ana turned the paper over
to Mr.. Johnson without a comment. The boy came
again and took the periodicals up. There was a
willy look Of
MISCHIEF
in the youngsters eye. He glanced at the passen-
gers much as to say, s'll bring a swear, out of
him next time. on his very next round he carried
bundle Of pamphlets, entitled the "Comic Life of
Horace Greeley" most stupid and witless produc-
tiOn literally Illustrated with the most aggravating
carcatures Of the great sage He threw one of
them into the philosophers lap with a nop, and,
to make assurance d0ubly sure, popped one into
the hands Of each member OF the party. The first
picture, II picture 1t can be called, on the outer
page OF this production Is view of the lusty patri
arch being helped over the White House wall by a
ptchfork, and inside Is a scene representing him
on the nag Protection" racing for the White
House against Victoria Woodruff on her seed ''Free
Love-" The fend of tranboy dropped this
bombshcil INTO the party and cheery continued his
round The passengers were
IN WILD EXCITEMENT
They chung to their seats as If the atmosphere OF
the car was about to become ph0sphoric with the
their windows to allow the startled air free vent,
Ladies put their fingers in their ears to deaden the
shock OF the report The philosopher gazed at this
hideous pamphlet long and sadly, as II sorrOwing
that humanity could have reached such d depth OF
degradation, turned once and looked soemnly at
the door through which the fendish trainbov had
disappeared and laying the pamphlet aside silently
turned again to his newspaper.
ABOUT SWEARING.
general murmur OF relief ran among the pas
sengers. quiet calm settled upon them
II guess it's all lie about his swearing SO much,n
said one.
1T would seem So" said another.
HoNORs ALONG TIE ROUTE.
At White Plains one or Two gentlemen came in
and spoke to him. On the platform OF the depot at
all the way stations the old farmers buying their
newspapers ofthe train boy inquired compacently
II Old Horace was on board At Chappaqua all the
aId for i'm ha VII fu h,ru
back or In their vehicles, and all the village beaus
and bellies, in their most Dolly vardenIsh attire,
hundredth time. The old farmers would drive up
toward him when he debarked and say "How are
you, Horace ~ and the beaus and bellies would
nudge one another and say, There he is now.p
He always gets friendly greeting In Chappaqua.
MACGREGoR on his NATIVE HEATH.
Clear OF his friendly neighbors, the philosopher,
followed by his own little party strobe directly for
the farm. He stopped for a moment to expatiate
on the meanness or some one i'm the town who had
highway with. He extoled his house by the road.
side as one OF the best in the town. He described
the system OF drainage by which he had reclaimed
some eight or ten acres OF wet lands where, when
he bought it, the used to get mired. II is now
a fine field, rich In clover.
THE NUMEROUS SPRINGS
bubbng up on the edge of his woody hill had
formerly inundated the lowlands so as to render
this land little better than frogpond. The water
c0ursing from these springs he has imprisoned in
tiled drains, sunk two feet underground and lead
ing clean underneath the field to the great brook
at the roadside, where they mingle their waters
and seek the Neperhan thence the Hudson, thence
the sea. Above these springs and overlooking the
marsh meadows is his new house, as yet unfinished
The road here iorking leads one way TO the
stone barn and another to the house
in the woods and beyond to the wooded knoll where
the philosopher Is at present engaged thinning out
his trees. Twenty steps from the house is the peer.
less spring, bubbflng forth as clear az crystal at
the side OF deep rocky dell, through which dashes
a sparkling brook.
''rhe first thing when we get here's said the
sis for all hands to take drinkD
THIRSTY SOUL AsTONIsHEp.
And he led the way down the twenty whine steps
to the edge Of the spring, where china cup
and glass tumDer awaited his service. He
passed the sparkling beverage around, aud
TO the thirsty hroats parched with the dust OF the
trains, 1t was like nectar.
The western man seemed especially charmed
He took sip and smacked his lips and then took 9
long draught and rolled 1t around his tongue, as II
tasting It's proof, and then, with the air OF one VINO
had been all his life laborng under mistake
said:--
"Ah-and that's water, Is II ~
THE SYLVAN RETRRAr -,
There was no time at the philosophers ulsPosott
TO show of the farm to his friends until ne mao nus
relieved his mind off aching pubic cares oy leu
inc q faw trees and trimming dozen or 90 mora