The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-08-07
NAsBY.
A Good Democrat Cone. Elder Pen.
nibackeT's DehIh...WhAt Killed
Hin.
Yfga The Ts.sas BlAGel
CJAYEDWI Y RoADa }
tWich Is Ia thcStSisuV Ken,atkV1 ,


N the very houSe IN which he died, OF
rather be died In wat WuZ lei Of IT, Il he'd
bin large house Wunst, but when Linkin
em3nc.paied Tie niggtn, and the HIDE
and hA 400 were deprived u labor, us5
found L impossible ~ get aFsWOo1. Alter
the rail fences Wuz gone they commenced
on The house, and he'd yoO,ed il ell up bot
tour rooms
The death Nv this good man u doc 70
the Greeley mOVsmenL He never WuE
capable Nv underSandin IL, and at flrst
reloosed 10 yield Il. lie TelO0sed 10 buy
one Of the white hats Wich / he'd brot
back from Cincinnati, and Bacon Wuz
iout 10 take stern measures with him,
Mary drink, Elder, till II gOes under that
hat That fetched him. He put II on.
Wat do you want TO take up Greeley
IorG' he asked.
ITO beat Grant with / answered.
why not take up Grant TO beat Gree.
Icy with ;" replied this o1est, tho obluse,
old man, 10 which didn't say word
hndin an ans WeT somewhat difficult
He accepted Greeley, however, tho II
WuZ mostly becuZ we insisted on IL, but he
did II 10 a hAzed sort Nv way, and wuy
never hiaseh AlleTEArd. He deliberately
cut down Two hiCk0riss Wich he he'd In
trunt Nv his house, and be bpeat moot Nv
MS time spellin out articles In and old
copy Nv the Irib0on
I'm a DlmOcrat," sed he, sadly with a
puzzled look, "and find, ackording to my
candidate fur President, that I'm a hos
thlei, liar, perjered Villin, haFlot, and
that I'm bought with British gold. amt
a harIOt, and never Wuz, and If I've bin
bought with British gold, where's the
gold Good heylns shell go mad"
And the wretchld old saint, who wuZ
afflicted with mind Wich Wuznt Cake.
lated to grasp the sutlleties Of modern
polittT, wood rush out OF his house into
the field, and calm hlsseli by communion
with u4cher.
Last Toosday We ratified He kerried
= torch, and he'd on white hat, but he
acted in very eccentric manner. He
didn't keep In line, and wuz constantly
murmuriDg TO himsel II amt a harlot,
and never wuZ" He went home without
taking nothin at Bascom's, and then
kn0wed suthin Wuz wrong. No Ken.
tuckiRn kin survive his loss Nv appetite
II wuG as | feared. Wednesday mornin
he wuZ unable TO rise from his bed, and
went 10 see him. His mind wuz wander.
In. In his delirium he asked me TO pay
him nine dollars and hall which Dor.
rowed Nv him five years ago. wuz sat.
ished from this that he wuz lAilin.
gave him little likkGr in a spoon, witch
brot him TO hisseli. "Parson," sed he
somewhere I've read an anecdote oy 3
man witch wuz drunk, and witch, leaniu
up agin u tree, VOmted. While he wuZ
cOntemplatin the elected contents ov his
slomick, u little dog came snullin around,
and The man saw him and wuL amazed.
Thunder! he remarked, I know where
| eat them crackers; | member with ut
most 'stinCtness where got that bolony
sassage, but d--n me if II know where l
ate that dog. ParsOn, I'm in the same
fix. | hey taken the Cincinnati emetic
and its worked. l remember distinkly
when | swallowed States rites, but I'm
DID ei know where l took in that
Greeley pup, with an Ablshn head and
u light protective tariff tail. ParsOn, its
too much" And the good old man buried
his head In the kivrin aud wept vociter-
Gus.
| left him, but returned In the after.
noon. | found him worse than ever. He
had deliberately gone to the closet and
taken out banner witch he proudly car.
ricd the year before, wich represented
Greeley embracin a niger woman witch
weighed 200 pounds, and he'd torn that
banner from the supportin frame, and
NtFFn int 10 Ia A,A 4 -
all the notices witch he yoosed to carry,
such eE mo niger supremacy" "whlte
men shGl rOol Ameriky," and SIGH, re-
markin, CT he regarded tho wreck Nv EN-,
II shel die parsOn, but l thot best to leave
nothing behind that would embarrass
700" Hook occasion 10 hint that be he'd
better add that note Nv hand Nv mine 100
, the rooms, and he sed sadly that it wood
be ez well, at amt Wuth no more than
( the rest" he remarkt.
He got into bed sgin and sunk into o
| troubled slumber. In about an hour no
awoke, when his dimmed eye happened
TO rest onto the white hat Nv mine, wich
/ he'd hung onto the bed post. He riz up
In bed holding his hand atore his eyes ez
et TO shet out some hOrrid vision, and
shrieking violently, he sunk back corpse
Thus died Elder Pennibacker, one Of
my friends at the Corners. He wuz
StanCh and stoopid. He wuZ bleever ia
: States rites, In Ham and HAgar and in
, Democracy. He died from a severe al
! tack NV suppOsin Horris Greeley 70 be e.
onest CT he wu1 himself. He woodent
! turn Ablishnist for no offs, and he sup.
|, posed that Horris wUz still the same old
! heather he always wuz. He believed
> that he, HorriS, he'd swallered the Dino
: cratic party, and do what l Good, Good
! not make him believe that the Dlmocrstlc
party he'd swallered Greeley over with
the Presidency and swallered him. Poor
ole mani He don't understand such pol.
itishens as l do. or he wood hev knowd
!. better and lived. He died NV stoopidity,
disease which, il it wuz alters fatal
a wood reduce our party to mere nothing
y numerically.
!, Deekin Pogram and are administra.
= tors Ov his estate. Ez Bascom hez a NOR.
y gage on the farm for all 1t is worth, our
u doOties will be light, There haint been
I a crop raised on the place since the oman,
J. cipaton Nv the niggers, and Bascom hez
: furnished him and his sons In liker ever
|. since on tick. Most Nv the property in
9 this vicinity Is In the same fix. Mine
u wood be, but fortunately haven't any,
: Yours truly,
+ PETROLEUM V Nasty,
s witch wuz PostmaSter)