Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1872-05-23
The Fat Contributor.
He will lie = Candidate for Preside z mt.

He will be = Candidate for President
The hour has arrived. l can hesi
tate no longer. The highest interest
Of the nation demands that | presen
myself as a candidate for President
OF the United States. have waited
for some one else to bring me out
but in the multitude Of candidates
no one seems to have thought OF me
And do mt think very much OF my
self; but man do Mt want to thinl
much of himself TO be a candidate
for President nowadays. II lac hat
any selfregard at the outset HI
would think very little of himself b,
the time he got through with tht
campaign.
am one of the people, might
say, one OF the boys. l came up iron
obscurlty, and l have brought up .
good deal of obscurity with me
never had any politics-or much else
l am Liberal to a fault, and ready
to receive votes IRON any quarter, al
though am not ready TO give quar-
ters for any votes.
As tor a platform, suit yourselves
gentlemen. The lec;ur. pat orm
would probably suit me as well as
any other. Having stood upon near
ly every platform in the West, it
would be hard for you to get up one
| could not stand on. In the absence
of platform, give me four aces, and
III "stand' on that.
am the special friend OF the la
boring m.n. No one likes to see a
man work better than l do. In fact,
| had rather sec man work than
work myself. l am not only averse
to working more than eight hours,
put am opposed to working sin
Gle hour. l sha MT even work tor
my election, leaving that tor the
men who want the offices.
am in favor Of paying the national
debt. 1t is IN fact the only debt |
am in favor Of paying. And raSher
than not see it paid during my ad-
ministration, will pay it out of my
own pocket.
In the matter of civil service re-
form l intend to do the civil thing by
the nation if the nation does the civil
thing by me. Being civil is so rare
a condition nova days in the varied
walks OF lite Ito say nothing about
the runs) that fetorm is urgently
called Tor.
Retrenchment IS my motto. II
you cant put retrcnchment plank
in the platform put in a board. Lam
ready to work without any salary,
but / shall insist upon my board.
I am rather inclined to tree trade
pretering to feel free to trade where
ever l please, but if tariff plank is
nee, 'ary 20 my election, put it IN
l slal not get on tariff amt
elected
Pledge me as strong as you please
to the temperance men. The tenn
pe:ance pledge wo mt hurt me ono
bit.
No relative shall hold Office, no
matter whose relation he may be-
l shall appoint none but old bache
lors, childless widows. aud orphans
Any man who has relation in the
world need not apply tor an office
under my administration. | have a
few relatives OF nv own holding Office
now, but they shall be promptly
kicked out as soon as I am elected
One brother-in law has little coal
office on the river. He must give it
up. A third cousin on my neighbors
side drinks too much occasionally, and
gets office foot. l shall give HIM
notice to quit. Another relation has
a hankering after George Ellis "Of-
fice." 1t won't do hum any good
You see am determined to reduce
the "relative" expenses of the Gov
ernment.
Iengaee not to accept any gift,un-
less it be tho highest office in the gift
Of the people. II am ever called
"our present Chief Magistrate" it
won't pc chiet magistrate of pres
ents. Not being man Of command
ing presents anyhow, there would
probably be few presents that l could
command. What few natural gifts
l may have, however, l shall endeav-
or to retain. They are not worth
making any fuss about.
1 am not only in favor of woman's
rights, but of woman's rights and
let's. l am in favor of women vot-
ing, provided they vote for me. l
see no reason why woman should
not hold Office, except, perhaps, the
difficulty Of getting hold OF it. Nor
should there be any bar 70 woman's
accumulating property and support.
ing the family it she wants to.
| may be asked how | woulG treat
tho Indians. l wouldn't "treat' them
at all. They have been treated too
much and too often. My private
opinion, however, is, that it will be a
treat when there isn't an Iniun left.
! stand by the old constitution that
has been tried. Few men have tried
their constitutions more than have
tried mine. l accept the amendments