The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1872-06-15
LOVE WITHOUT NONSENSE.
IoT BIT LIKE NOVEL, CAPITAL TAKE
OFF oS TnE HIGH PaEssUKE STYLE.

maiden, " nose name was mary, dItbObSH
tney called her Mol for short. She wasn't
q tail, daik yed maiden wlth clear, Fans>
talen: skin. aud lips like cherries aud cheeks
tuffpsed with blIshes. She didn't have
glossy black hair, sweeping back III Wavy
tresses from her queeuly brow, and her form
wasn't a bit IKE Hebe's. No, there was
none of those things on ihe contrary, she
was short AID thin. AID had red hair aud
feckles, and she also sp1rted suaggie teeth,
and wore pads but still she was a right
nice girl aud there was u young mau VINO
fell in love with her, and his name was Bill,
although his friends called hm William
when they wanted to hurt his feelings, for
he dldu't like it much. He wasn't fine
looking, and had neither curly brown hair
nor a moustache. Not much. Bill laid
himself out on soap locks, aud wore goatee
that he had dyed twice a week.
Now this Bill he Was in love with Mary;
hut did he 90 and make a deliberate fool OF
hImseill Did he, say, go into a grove
with her, aud in the soft moonlight, by the
sueamlet that murmured swcetly by, aud
with the tender zcE hNr s'ghlug through the
foliage, fall down On his knees, seize her
jeweled hand, and breath his deep affections
III the tender accents of fond attachment,
aud swear by yon bright orb above us,
always to be thine ~ Did he, | say You
can just bet he didu't. YUu can just put
your whole revenue safely on that. William
kuew too much about the p,icc of rants To
60 Hopping about on the grass with his good
clothes on besides he never careG anything
about streamlets, Or any kind of cold water,
except TO mix with his gin. No, sir ; IL
was exceedingly strange, but this Infatuated
William met her at the alley gate. and he
stood right up on his Old legs and says,
"A.
But how did Mary behave2 Dad she go
dropping to s.eep over on the bricks in Il
dead faint, or dId she hide her gentle head
"n bis shirt b som to conceal her bushes
No, she didn't; and she didn't say. 4 am
ever thine, my own love, dear William -
Oh, my !! no. She looked right iuto his
yellow eyes aud says, Il IN in Billy I'm
the sal for these sort of things. Cio in.'
Aud instead OF referring him 10 her father,
eon said, !" Wont the old man bust right
out when you tell him ia hal" and she
laughed. But she udu't ask William to try
TO moihfy her tOud father. No, 10. She
very wIckedly advised him to poke the old
man in the nose if he gave him any Of his
lip" She was a funny girl. this Mary.
Now, the old man wasn't wealthy, for he
sold soap fat for living, and So he didn't
think Bill was uosiug around after his
stamps; SO when Bill asked him, he neither
ordered him hegcely away, nor did the dewy
moisture gather IN his eagle eye as he passed
his hemstitched up there aud said Bless
you, my children, bless you!" Oh, no.
nothing of the sort. He Just blew his old
red nUse on his bAudana aud told Bill to take
her along, for he was glad to get rid of her,
he was, and William would be the same
way mighty soon, for she was awful rough
on victuas, and always broke plates when
she got mad.
SO, you see, there was really no necessity
Tor William to come at midn ight's solemn
hour In a cab, and throw a rope ladder up
to her window, and whistle thee times on
his fingers, and then 60 up hand over hand
and bring LeT down In one hand aud her
trunk IN the other, aud a band box and an
umbrella under each arm. and Il whole lot
Of bundles and then get in the cab aud tly
to, some distant shore. That's The way il
would have been in a novel but Bill said
he wasn't on that lay. So he just went out
into the yard, and out of pure jry he skinned
the cat three or four times on the grape vine
arOur, and then went and got his butcher
cart, aud drove May right down to the mag
istrate, to get the j 10 done fer d quarter
for he said he was some OF the low price, he
was.
But the very queerest thing of all was that
Bill had no tah, dark. ruilitnly rival, with
scowliug viSage and black whiskers, no
flew at him with drawn dagger and horse
pistol In each hand, and muttered curse
upon his lips, and cried wildly for Revenge" /"
Ha ha aud said DEATH !" and Villain,
thou diest!" Not any. There WAS another
fellow in love with Mollie to be sure. hut he
was a weak>eyed young man, who h I'd sandy
hair, and wore spectaces and a choker col>
lar. and always looked scared when you hol-
lcred at him. 50 when he saw tn at Bill had
the best of the girls affections, he looked Sc
rene and said Go in Bill. il you banker for
her ;" and as Billy was trIile on The banker,
he sailed right in.
81 William had no troubleat aIl-and you
couldn't get up an agon zing uovel about
him if you tried. He didn't have any ur,
gent business that called him to a foreign
land. aud so he hadn't to bid her fond 60 d.
bye. and swear always to be true, and :hen
60 away and forget her and fall 10 love with
dark eyed Italian girl, picking grapes 10 a
vineyard, with square towel folded Oh her
head. while his forgotten aud forsakeu Mary
gradually faded and pined away, anu baffled
the physicians SIX i'll, and grew Ia'er and at
last when the June roses were in bloom, ly~
ing gently down TO die, while through the
open window h>ated in the baimy oder ol
Jessamlne an1 hpueyrSucKle. And W ~
liaIE didn't come home at last, and. filled
with deathless remorse, 90 daily to the sweet
cemetery and sirew flowers on her grave, and
teach his children to lisp her name. Not at
all. That is the way 81 $. +. ID. f. n.
Southworth would have done it. but she
wasn't round. Billy was butcher who
wore white shirt and shiney hat and he
stayed at home and killed beef and sold it at
big price. and stuck to Mary, and she
wasn't much on the pine. or the fa1e, while
if any follows got to Ia king around, William
went right out and batted them in the eye.
He did.
And then, at last, when all was over. Mary
didn't sit in the room while they dressed her
in white. a2d mixed orange blossoms in her
waterfall, and then go gently down stairs
with six bridesmaids at her heels, and stand
up with her William. and weep gently while
she was being married by the minister, and
then get lots Of presents. and then 60 to her