Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1872-02-01
JENKINS REVENGE.

A TALE THAT WAS TOLD TO THE MARINES
Now, mind, / will not guarantee the
truth of this, can only tell it TO you as
he told it to US. 1t sounds improbable,
certainly, but no one can say it IS impos
sible. What is there to prevent lady,
If so inclined, from ---g But that would
spoil the story. And there is no law OF
nature, / suppose to restrain man who
is SO devoid Of gcntlemanly feeling as he
is But that would tell what is com
ing. It is no good saying he was intoxi-
Gated, because defy you to get drunk on
sherry and soda water and to lay it to
the heat of the season is absurd, for it was
a remarkably cool evening for August.
No Jenkyns is man who has some
strange experiences, and this was not the
least strange among them. Still, mind,
] will not guarantee the truth OF this
though, by the way, you don't often find
a man tell the same tale twice in exactly
the same way If it is not true, and have
heard him tell this twice.
The first time was at dinner at Lord
well IL don't matter where. 1t is some
times advisable not to mention proper
names. don't think this would do any
harm, though--at a dinner at Lords
cricket. ground, and the second time was
on the occasion of which ! am speaking,
when found him drinking sherry and
soda-water, and smoking cheroots with
three officers of marines, one of whom,
with five gloves Qady's six and half
and withered rose before him, was tell
ing how" After leading me on in this
way, after gaining my young affections
in this trcacherous manner, by Jove
sir, she throws me over and marrics
BIubber."
"It's like the SEX" said the second ma
rine
ITS woman that sejuicess all man.
kind" says the third marine.
" II reminds me what once happened to
myself and Jenkyns; you know the
story" he continued, turning to me,
$50 just order yourself some sherry and
soda water, all ! and while you are about il
order some for me too, and you can pay
for them both when they come then
shan't be put out. Thank you; I'll try
one of your cigars. Well, gentlemen,
turning to the marines, "sOmc time age
] was staying with Sir George P
P House. P-shire. Great mum
beers of people there all kinds Of amuse
ments going on--driving, riding, fishing
shooting, everything in fact. Sir Georges
daughter Fanny was often my companion
in these expeditions, and l was con
siderably struck with her, for she was a
girl to whom the epithet stunning ap
plies better than any other that ! am &C
quainted with. She could ride like MIN
rod, she could drive like Jehu, she could
row like Charon, she could dance like
Tcrpsichore, she could run like Diana
Oh, a1 10 Sh M
like Venus. I've seen her smoke"
Zone good in her character, at any
rate" said the third marine.
"Just like the sex p said the secOnt
marine.
"Ah she was sumner" continued
Jenkyns 'you should have heard tina
girl whistle, and laugh-you should have
heard her laugh she was delightful
gcther, fished together, walked together
danced together, sang together;
called her Fanny, and she called me Tom
All this could have but one termination
you know. fell in love with her, ant
determined to take the first opportunity
of proposing. So, one day, when we wer'
out together fishing on the lake, ! wen
down on my knees among the gudgeons
seized her hand, pressed il TO my
waistcoat, and in burning accents en-
treated her to become my wife.
"DOn't be fOol!' she said. "Now
on"
20 Fanny exclaimed; "don't tall
about worms when marriage is in ques
tion. Only say
'T tell you what it is now" she replied
angrily, eff you don't drop it, Ill pitch
you out of the boat"
Gentlemen" said Jenkyns, will
strong emotion, 81 did not drop 1t, and
give you my word of honor, with sud
den shove she sent me flying into the
water; then Selling the SOULS, with q
stroke or two she put several yards be.
tween us, and burst into fit of laughter
that fortunately prevented her from going
any further. | swan up and climbed into
the boat. 'Jenkynsr said l to myself,
] laughed-hideous mockery of mirth-I
house and changed my garments. When
that every one had been informed of my
During dinner Fanny repeatedly whisper
Cu W ucI nciSHDoI, anu Siuuccu Nv Hc
Smothered laughter invariably followed
'Jenkynsr said l, revenge! The oppor-
tunity soon offered. There was to be a
balloon ascent from the lawn, and Fanny
had tormented her father to let her ascend
with the acronaut. instantly took my
plans; bribed the aeronaut to plead illness
Mt the moment when the balloon should
have risen; learned from him the man.
agement of the balloon, though l knew
that pretty well before, and calmly await
ed the result. The day came. The
weather was fine. The balloon was in
q lated. Fanny was in the car. Every
thing was ready, when the aeronaut sud.
denly tainted. He was carried into the
house, and Sir George accompanied him
10 see that he was properly attended to.