The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-09-27


Place just precisely as it ought. Mr..
Avenel keeps his housekeeper and
Harry has gained wife.
All Sorts.
Dead Locks-False curls.
What is dyspepsia? Stuff!
Choice Extracts-The dentists.
A youthfal warrior-A bady in
arms.
Autumn leaves-When winter
comes in.
Are running accounts kept in
sloping banks?
The drunkard's week is made up
of Thirst-days.
weight for the wagon" as the
fat lady sang.
The key which is the hardest to
turn is the donkey.
The most tasteful hair dresser in
the world-The cook.
The most irredeemable bonds as
yet known are the vagabonds.
A dandy on the shore is disgust
gusting, but swell Of the sea is
sickening.
When autumn is married to win
ter the wedding cake is always fros-
ted.
A student of theology describes a
woman's original sphere to be ap-
pies.
'News of the week" is the head
line given by an editor to a hospital
report.
Why are your eyes like friends
by distant climes? They
correspondent never meet.
Why is a man with cold a de-
sirable countenance? Because he
has influence, sir (infuenza.
An Ohio editor has written the
heading, ga Lie Mailed" $4,000
times during his long career.
One of the pleasures of hfe-Tak-
ing off new boots and putting on old
slippers.
Why are measles like fresh mack
erel9 Because they run in schools,
and have to be caught before they
can be had.
"My dear boy, honesty is the best
policy" "Well, you ought to know,
father, for you nave tried 'em both.
Baseball ought to be styled the
mutual-admiration game. The
clubs so unremittingly ''play into
each others hands"
"Mother, this book tells about the
angry waves of the ocean. Now,
what makes the ocean get angry?'
Because it has been crossed SO of
ten my son."
A smart young articled clerk,
hearing it stated by q lecturer that
man is merely machine, remarked,
"Then l suppose an attorney may be
said to be suing machine"
A Detroit paper says that Mr..
George Barren committed suicide
because he was disappointed in
love. He couldn't bear the thought
Ofremaining a single Barrell.
An Indiana town has the follow
ing dog ordinance: 'Dogs that are
not conared and labeled, no matter
how respectively connected will
have their narratives amputated one
inch south Of their ears"
A veteran was relating his ex-
ploits to a crowd of boys, and men
toned having been in five engage
ments. THAT'S nothing" broke in
little fellow, "my sister Agnes has
been engaged eleven times.'
A peach orchard in Maryland con
tains lob acres. At the hight of
the present season 600 hands were
employed in picking, pairing and
canning the fruit, and the daily work
was about 1000 baskets, or 10000
cans.
A youth, after vainly trying to ex-
plain some scientific theory to his
fair inamorata, said: "The question
lis difficult, and 1 don't see what I
can do to make it clearer" "Sup-
pose you pop it." whispered the
blushing damsel.
A lively Hoosier maiden who
dotes on "Hiawatha" and thinks the
Indians always the "noble red man. %
wept when she read how LongfellOw
had cut his pastern so as to ruin him
for life. She was so fond of his
poetry, she said, as she snufiled the
pearly tear-drops from her nose.
DR.. G. W. Rogers, of Decatur
Mich, gives the following recipe for
making domestic wines, which he
has used for twenty years, and
knows to be reliable: Take one
quart of juice, three and One-hali
pounds of brown sugar, and add wa
ter enough to make one gallon; put
it in a cask; give it vent, and be
sure to never rack it off; but put
| in your faucet above the sediment
and draw as you use it.
Prof. H. E. Cotton, in reply to al
inquiry as to the means of presery
| ing timber, told the Farmers Clut
that most of the patent methods
/ were impracticable in small way
on account of the heavy machinery
necessary. The best method fol
common use vas to thoroughly
season the timber, and then coat i
with coal tar or crude petroleum, o,
common pine tar put on hot. Thi
kept out worms and moisture, which
were the most destructive agents t.
timber,