Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1872-03-15
Varieties.

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How to make a clean sweep: Wash
him.
IF your tent is not waterproof, you
should pitch it. ri .ea.
A LoAFER is comparatively speaking
better than loaf.
WHAT fruit is, the most visionary
The apple of the eye.
AN overdressed woman is a perfect
ho1 SEA clothes horse.
LEAVE well alone is a good rule, but
leave i'll alone is better.
THE tyrant Gessler is said to have
started the phrase Blood VIII Tell"
Brown writes to learn if a policeman
has any legal right to take up" q
note.
THoUGH Titania babe Bottom listen
to her, she never asked him to lend
her his ears.
AT Independence, Kansas, they
manufacture the best whiskey in the
State. "Thy spirit, independence, LET
me share" .-.
A CHICAGO actor who was addicted to
the use of the flowing bowl, was alluded
to as living specimen of the mellow
drammer.
THE young widow who was buried in
grief is now alive and doing we'll. 1t
was only another instance of premature
interment.
I CAUGHT her softly in my arms, my
gentle, blue-eyed Kate; she squealed,
Let go, you cussed fool, you hurt my
vaccinate u
A FEMALE student in Michigan Uni
versity is said to saw far more wood
than any of her male associates. 1t
need scarcely be added that she is in the
saw-far-more class.
WHAT word is that in the English
language the first two letters of which
signify man, the first three woman,
the first four great man, the whole a
great woman ?-Heroine
A YOUNG man, having late railroad
disaster in mind, has broken his en-
gagement with a young lady, because
she is negligent about her train and
does not mind her switch.
"WHY doesen't your father take a
newspaper? ?" asked man of little
boy whom he found pilfering one from
his door step. " Cause he'd rather
send me to take it" was the reply.
JOSH BILLINGS thinks that the Gov
ernment should offer $40 for every
civilized Indian. and declare the proof
of civilization to be The production Of
some OF his back-hair with the skin at
tached.
a VETERAN observer says: 81 never
place much reliance on a man who is
always telling what he would have done
had he been there. I have noticed
that somehow this kind of people never
get there"
A JAPANESE nobleman named Motoi
Asyuma is travelling in the South, hav-
ing recently arrived by steamer at
Charleston. The name isn't as hard to
pronounce Asyu-ma think, being in fact
quite Japan-easy.
MAMMA Ito Naughty Boy)-You
should always behave the same,
whether you are in company or not.
Naughty Boy-Well, ma, why don't you
behave the same as you do to company,
and press us to have another tart?
A coUNTRYMAN in Savannah observed
a gang of darkies laboring on the
streets, each wearing ball and chain.
He asked one why that ball was chained
to his leg. "To keep people from steal
ing it," said the darkey; cheap of
thieves about here"
A PERSON who was called into court
for the purpose of proving the correct
ness of doctors bill, was asked by
lawyer whether the doctor did not
make several visits after the patient was
out of danger" "No," replied the
witness, "I consider the patient in dan
ger as long as the doctor continues his
visits"
AN old bachelor, picking up a book,
exclaimed, upon seeing Woodcut rep
resenting a man kneeling at the foot of
a woman, HBefore would kneeJ to
woman would encircle my neck with
rope, and stretch it." And then,
turning to young woman, he inquired:
" Do you not think it would be the
best thing could do?" G. 1t would un-
doubtedly be the best for the woman,"
was the sarcastic reply.
A VACANCY having occurred in a GER
tain church by reason of the resigna-
ton of the organist, the music commit
tee advertised for candidate as organ
ist, music teacher, etc. Among the
numerous replies was the following pc
culiar announcement: "Gentlemen
noticed your advertisement for organist
and music teacher, either lady or
gentleman. Having been both for several
aLenrs / offer Won NV serYices.O