Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1872-01-02
The 4ll't of DisdDreeinO.

'T,s with our judgment as our watches, none
~ ju-t alike, yet each believes his own. .'-Popes
kssdV oH Crsf.eifw.
loIilencss has been defined rs benev-
oicnco in small things; and n gentleman
is always recognized by his regard for
The rights and feelings Of others in the
most seemingly indifferent matters. The
majority oi good people find il more easy
To do great. generous and magnanimous
acts occasionally, than 10 do little, cour-
tcuus and kindly acts continually. In the
first case the person follows the impulses
ol grand sentiments, which overcome,
for time, his selfish love OF ease ; in the
other, seliishness and seli'assertion are
subject 10 constant restraint. The gen.
llcman, therefore, whether dressed in
hroadcloth or homespun. whether he be
a man OF ordinary capacities and virtues
OF hero aud Il man OF genius, is dist:n-
guished from other men not by superior
ily of lorce and intelligence, but by supe-
rior dclicacy oi perception ol the vital
properties" which should regulate hu.
man beings in their social intercourse. -
good manners are either the expression
OF good heart, or are the result OF IN
austere discipline which prevents the ex
preston oi bad one. Human nature
is so imperfect that most gentlemen We
meet, are unlike The poets, "made rather
than born" Courteous, on the whole, is
an alt or tact, rather than an instinct or
an inspiration. 1t is product of culture,
and, in its best embodiments, ranks
among the finest OF the fine arts.
As an art it is subjected TO some exact
ing tests. and the most cruel OF these is
the temptation to sacrifice courtesy when
the conversation turns upon points which
imply an opposition vi strong convic-
lions. The exterior gentleman, the iop,
the coNcomb. The man who has sunk his
conscience and intelligence in his man.
ucrs, escapes from this temptation by be-
ing mentally and morally apaihetic His
"ya's" and his 'desSay" ure the imbecil-
ilics oi polileneaS. But TO have, in social
lie, conversation which shall be bright,
animated and earnest, without violating
the prophecies" is very difficult. In
literature, in art. in politics, in morals,
in religion, the differences OF opinion
have 50 many roots in indi yidual charac-
Ter hat IN unsocial lcrocity Of self as
scIlion is in continual danger of destroy
ing polite society" The calm, cool
persons, decked out III purple and fine
linen. and exchanging courtesies in gild.
ed pArlors, are found to be barbarians at
heat when their cherished notions are
as.aied, In the best company we find
that the AIT of Disagreeing, which i'm
plies that the collision of prejudices, prin
ciples and individuals shall be conducted
with constant reference TO the laws Of
courtesy, is an art still in its infancy.
That mere morality and genius will
serve us little in this matter is proved by
such cases as DR.. Johnston and Thomas
Carlyle. Both appeared mere savages
locked at from the point of view of man
ners. "You don't understand the ques.
ton, SIR" and "You lie, sir" are the ex.
tremes OF Johnson's conversational meth
od in argument with scholars on his own
level. Carlyle's supreme contempt for
the persons who disagree with him, ex-
asperates even those who have the high
est respect for his integrity and insight.
The great body of eminent converse.
sionalists, in politics and theology arc gen.
tlemen in the ordinary sense of the wol d..
They are civilized and polite up to n GER.
tain point. But the moment the politician
goes into parliament or congress he as
sails his intellectual opponent as though
he was his personal enemy. Measures
are apparently the only things up for dis.
eussion, but the real fight is with the men
who stand behind the measures, and TO
show that these men are defective in hon
esty or intelligence, or in both. is the OBJ