Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-07-08
MISCELLAN EOUS.

her Thomas with a litter of pups.
If you will swing on the gate, look
out for the hinges.
n Here we are!" is the salutatory of
new Missouri paper.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each
of his children drum.
Wolf scalps in Illinois are worth Sl5
piece.
Rum is good in its place, and the IN
fernal regions is the place for it.
When you court widow you. want to
do it with spurs on.
To prevent mosquitoes biting, bathe
yourself in coal OIL
Waste nothing-neither time, money,
nor talent. TA
Wisconsin has millions of good acres
yet unbroken.
Jubal Early refuses to run for Con-
gress in Virginia.
The man who wrote sI'm saddest
when l sing" was fool to sing much.
Say, bub, which is the quickest way
for me to get to the railroad depot p
run %
The 9th anniversary of Bunker Hill
was celebrated at Bosting with great
eclat.
Apples in Missouri are being poisoned
by imbedded locusts' eggs, and those
who eat thereof kerfummix.
When fellow gets to going down hill
it seems as though everything had been
creased for the occasion.
The Chicago Tribune is of opinion
that "woman is undoubtedly the coming
man of the present day."
There Is a young chap in a Danbury
school who, being asked who was called
"The Father of his Country ?" shrilly
shouted Brigham Young" IL 10lI
The Vicksburg niggers are indignant
at those white ladies who, on decoration
day, forgot to cover the niger hillocks
with flowers.
If your nei eighbor's hens are trouble
some, and steal across the way, don't let
your angry passions rise; fix place fol
EN- to lay / Il IL
A Macon county, North Carolina mar
is the happy parient of twenty-sever
sons and daughters, and is still youth
of seventy-six years. q .frl-
Josh Billings says he never knew &
dog of any breed whatsumcver to take
hyderfoby after he had been thoroughly
vaccinated with buckshot.
A Chicago editor recently received ;
perfumed note asking why Mr.. Byron
who used to write such sweet poetry
keeps so quiet lately.
A golden rule for young lady is t,
converse always with her female friends
as if a gentleman were of the party
and with young men as if her femal
companions were present.
A colored brother in Mississippi die,
recently of a severe headache brough
on by swarm of bees which settle,
there, after being shaken from tree b
the party aforesaid.
A young lady having read about MAJ
having invented stove which consume,
its own smoke, hopes he will devise
method whereby tobacco smokers can b
run on the same economical principle.
A citizen of Gosport, the other nigh
mistook his wife's yeast bottle for hi
favorite little brown Jug" and took
'long pull and strong pull therefrom
He is now regarded as rising man.
A babe in the house is worth two il
the bush,-Eachange.
/ Not if the one in the house is teethin
or got the collie. In that case we'll tax
to the bush every time.
A few days ago colored man of Hal
flax county. North Carolina, was exhit
iting to party of admiring friends, tn
docile qualities Of his favorite mule, b
pulling his tail and otherwise caressin
him. The coffin was made of popla
plank.
4 A detroit Dutchman. named Vhestu,
resurrected the other day, while bein
shaved as corpse with a dull razol
/ He raised moment and exclaimed, 90
Z mine Gott, and Immediately departe
for that bourne where there are no du
razors and botch BARRIERS aaTm 3Tls
A good story is told of St. Lou
nobby dry goods clerk who attended
dance in the rural district a few ever
lngs since. He wore a Chevoit shir
and put on great many airs. He W;
somewhat taken down, however. when
overheard a country lass say to anothe
That st. Louis chap slings heap
: style for feller that wears a bed-tic
: ebirt ,,