Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1872-01-17
HIGGINS AND THE WIDOW.
BY s.H., OF ALABAMA.

Aotus 1oE some minutes ne SAT
still watching me intently, as if to
make out by the sound Of my pen
what was writing.
Squire he said at length, did |
l ever tell you my scrspe with the !
widow Horny up here on the river?u
Never did, said I, laying down |
my pen, ''let's have it.D
They're curious creatures, widows |
is" said he, in q meditative tone,
''and the more you study about Iem !
the more you don't know anything
about 'em. What was this thing I've !
read about in Egypt, or some other |
country, that nobody could unrid- |
dle?"
1.-The Sphinx, probably" 1 replied. |
Well" he continued, that was
a widow as sure as you ever had
granny. Everything else in theearth !
has been found out but them, and
they're as much a mystery to-day as
the length Of the north pole. You |
may read the history Of the world /
from Genesis to Revelations, and You
will find that widows have been at |
the bottom or top of five quarters |
Of all the devilment that has been |
put up. Was you eyer in love with |
one ?n
''LOt's of them, y said I. 3
'sYou're great gander-thails what
you are" said he. "a man that loves |
one and gifts over it won't never get |
bit by another, il he's got as much /
sense as a ground-hog. I don't con-
slider that I've got any sense at all, |
but | am a little too smart to let |
another Of them get all the trumps
on me.-The widow Horny that I was |
speaking Of, is a little the handsomest |
woman, 1 reckon, that ever looked q /
man into fits, and l ought to be a |
judge, for I've seen lots Of pretty wo-
men in my day. She was about
twenty-five years old when I went
up there TO work, just in the bloom of |
her beauty, and full Of deviltry as |
three year old mule colt. There was
ball over at Jenkin 8 and of course |
l went, for l always go where there's |
any fun going on, and generally act
the fool before / get away. or course |
the widow was there, dressed as fine
as Solomon's lilies, and flying around
as risky as a young lamb in rye
patch. l got introduced to her and
asked her to dance with me, and
when she flashed her eyes at me and
said "yess, jumped up like l had
sit down q hot griddle. You may
talk about sensation, but when she
took hold of my hand and sorter
squeezed it, 1 felt a sensation as big
as load Of wood, and it kept running
up and down my back like a squirrel
with q hawk after him. I'm very
fond Of dancing, but I'll be hanged
I har II Nnnr
night or not, for every time she took
hold of my hand I'd commence feel
ing curious behind the ears and up
aud down my back again, and then 1
wouldn't know whether / was on
earth or in = balloon, or on comet,
or anything like IL. 1t was undoubt-
edly. a case Of love at first sight, and
powerful bad case at that.
For a wonder ] got through the
frolic without making myself con-
spieuous or cutting up any extras, as
I'm in the habit of doing when 1 go
into public. I'd set my pegs to 20
home with the widow after the ball,
but Just as was fixing my mouth to
ask her, up steps big, long, leather
faced doctoF, named Msbry, and
walked her right of before my eyes.
That riled me some time, but kept
my tongue still inYardly swearing to
break his bones the first opportunity
that presented itself. / saw there
was no use In saying anything, so I
went home and went to bed, and all
the rest Of the night was dreaming
about rainbOws, angels, buttertiys,
widows, and doctors, mixed up worse
than dutehman's dinner.
"Well, squire, to make ashort story
Of it, I made up my mind to have the
widow, or kill myself or somebody
else.
$50 made it convenient to be on
hand where she was, upon all oeca-
siOns. / couldn't eat nor sleep nor
work, aud If the thing had held on,
! wouldn't have had sense enough /
left 10 skin a rabbit. But was deter
mined e should not last long, for I'd |
been fooled 50 often by women that |
thought I would not give her time |
to think ofanything but me. She ap-
peared to take me right sharply, and /
the doctor seemed inclined to mix in /
with me, but didn't consider him 1
no more than a brush fence, for I !
was Sd far gone thought she could 4
see nobody on earth but me. Well, !
Squire, things went on so for about a /
month, and one Sunday / screwed up
my spunk and put the question to 4
her. She sOrter laughed and looked /
One-sided, and finally told me she /
couldn't give me an answer just then,
but if I'd call at her house next |
Thursday evening. she'd give me
final answer. Thinks /, you're mine.
just as sure IS there is a fiddle below.
Whenever a woman takes time to
study she'll say yes. Squire, don't 4
the poets say something about men !
and rats going eroOked?h
Mice and men, Burns says" an
swered.
"Well, mice and rats is all one, and 4
So is men and fools sometimes, as 1
have found in my travels. I was so
sure she'd have me that / went off
and spent all my money in fine
clothes, thinking would have them
ready for the wedding-and I did!
Confound the widow, / saw! Con-
found all the widows! Thursday
evening came at last, although it was
a long time about IL, and over / went,
dressed into fits, and feeling as big as
Josh Raynor did when he was elected
NSAOLGAs L 6Ok AhGAC 1DOub
found right smart crowd collected.
which was not on the bills, hut I felt
as big and good as the rest of aem. So
/ marched in, like blind mule into
potato patch, and took a seat by the
fire. L didn't see anything of the
widow, but l kept looking for her to
come in or send for me, and passing
away the time by eussin' the crowd !
to myself, thinking they had no busi-
ness there, and l would not ges to
talk to my woman a bit, Presently
the door opened and in walked Polly
and that burned doctor, and a whole
team Of boys and girls fixed up
savagely, tell you. looked round
for q fiddler, thinking they were going
to have a dance, but I wondered what
they all kept so still for, and was
about propOsin' reel, when Up gifts
a little preacher, and before you could
swallow live oyster, be had Polly
and the doctor married faster than q
Mexican greaser could tie a bulls
horns. was so completely fium-
mixed that set there with my mouth
open like as / was goin' to swallow
the whole crowd, and my eyes lacked
like billiard balls till the ceremony
was over, when ! jumped up and bel
lowed
I forbid the concern from being
constituted
tYon are a LITTLE too lota NV fr;and , I ,