The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-05-24
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2 The Ready-money system-Dun. or
be done.
No wonder Job was cold-he had
poor comforters. .rI
An off.hand fellow-one who has
lost both his arms.
The best band to accompany O lady
occulist-a husband.
What is a house without a baby?-I
Well, comparatively quiet.
A debt for which there is no at
tachment-the debt of nature.
Faith in tomorrow instead of
Christ is Satan's nurse for mans per-
dition.
Women think all men are thieves.
Well they may rob them even of
their names.
Genius unexalted is no more gen.
ius than a bushel of acorns is q for
est of oaks. =
Moderation isothe silken string
running through the pearl chain of
all the virtues. =
When may a loaf of bread be said
to be inhabited-when thereisa lit
tie Indian in it. 2
The more tender and delicate the
blossoms of Joy, the purer must be
the hand that will Gull them.
ST wish" said Lord Beacon, "eyery
man knew as much law, as would en-
able him to keep himself out of it."
"What is home without amother?"
as the idle daughter said when she
sent the old lady out to chop wood.
Why is an almanac simply advice
thrown away? Because it comes in
at one year. and goes outat the 9TH
1t may sound like a paradox, yet
the breaking of both wings of an
army is a pretty sure way to make it
fly.
Men of genius r often dull and
inert in society; as the blazing mete-
or, when it descends to earth, is only
a stone.
A wag says, judging by the size of
fashionable shoes, it is a safe infer
ence that many of our women stand
o nstrifes.
A pound of energy with an ounce
OF talent w~illsachieve greater results
than a pound of talent with an ounce
of energy.
Good nature like a bee, collects
honey from every herb. Miniature,
like a spider, sucks poison from the
sweetest flower.
You had better lend a man your
name on a bill than lend him your
umbrella, because the first is pretty
sure to be returned. :
A New York paper has big head
line, "Grantis Fondness for the
Drama" Hasn't the printer spelt il
with enc letter too much?
The oldest newspaper in the world
is published at Pekin, China. This
is the reaso why newspapers r al
ways peeking into other people bus.
mess.
Charles Lamb once said that the
men we're t'sharp set" who dined on
the top of the steeple of Lischfeld
cathedral. They did not dine On
Lamb.
An exchange says a mosquito is a
public singer, who draws well, but
fails to, give perfect. satisfaction
Still he never fails to "make his
mark rs aeFf,.&
In walking always turn your toes
outward and your thoughts inward.
The former viii prevent you from
falling into cellars. and the latter
from falling into iniquity.
If you wish success in life, make
perseverance your bosom friend, ex-
perience your wise counselor, caution
your elder brother, and hope your
guardian genius .-[Addison.
One of those young ladies who ac-
qulre a pleasing notoriety by carry
ing reptiles about In their stomachs.
has appeared at Sedalia No. and
her claim for glory is founded ON O
lizard five inches long. ~
a young lady says that a gentle
g man ought never to feel discouraged
when the ".momenteus question: Is
negatived by the object of his choice,
@sfor in life, as In grammer, we al
ways decline before We conjugate.''
A broken-hearted indianapolis
widower, whose wife died onlya few
days ago, has erected a pine slat
over her grave, and presented a fine
piano to the girl who has been very
kind to him during his great Attic.
5stion. SO
At a school where words were
"giyen out" for subjects in compost.
ton, a "mute inglorious Milton
produced at sight this sentence on
the word "panegyric," ga few
drops of panegyric, given on a large
lump of sugar, is often best with an
infant with the stomach-ache." 8
Mr.. Greeley writes to a CONNECTION.
er in Boston that in making calves
foot jelly, the Durham breed should
always be selected. Take a live calf,
place the hind feet In a corn mill,
and then commence to turn, and the
jelly will flow out IN its crude state.
Collect this in a pan and throw away
the calf 80 =.
BEAD what Gen. w. B. Thomas
an old Republican, and collector to1
Philadelphia, under Lincoln, says O
Grant: l r
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