The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1872-08-29

ches, and ever sence the old man hez
gone out at nine in the morning,
clum q tree and stayed there until
mite, which loonatic procedure wuz
a fearful waste Nv time, ez visitors
only come four times q day. He
wuz terribly exhausted. ! fixed this
by heven small but Intellectual
boy peach hisself onto a post in the
road which leads to the house, with
a signal flag. When party headed
for the philosophers house makes
its appearance, the boy waves his
flag, and the great and good Greeley
takes off his coat and climbs up a
tree, waiting to be surprised at his
yoosual avocation. At first he
yoosed to git down too quick to
make 1t lcok natural, but l hev
trained him so that he whacks away
with.a most bland expression of his
face, till l call twice or three times.
To save walkin too far, / dig up a
tree and plant it near the house. One
will keep green for ten days, and
when the branches is cut off we take
out the naked trunk and put another
in its place.
l hev, however, some trouble.
My personal appearance is better
sooted TO the latitood of Kentucky
than Moo York, and l hev to wair a
hat without any rim on it, in the sun,
to account for the redness NV my
nose. Then have to meet SO many
kinds nv people. We have here
the ole Aboliuonist and the old
Democrat, witch are the hardest to
manage. Then comes the modified
Democrat who accepts niger suf-
frage and SIGH, eff he cab be ASHFORD
the Post Office in his native village,
and the modified Republican who is
willin to swaller amnesty, and like
wise to doubt whether universal
suffrage wuz good thing after all,
provided he kin be ashoored of the
collectors offs, which Grant re-
foosed To give him, and which is now
held by minyun and nepot. In
short we hev all shades here, and
its a bother to take care Nv en- all.
| don't like mullatto babies, becoz
every one NV EN- is proof positive
that there's been adultry somewhere.
For the same reason | don't like CO.
alishun parties. They amt natral
and every one NV EN- bears the
mark of the sin thro which it comes
into the world. Ours is a mule par
", eff there ever wuz one, and |
heartily wish we were thro with it.
l had fearful time NV it yester-
day. Our picket guard waved his
flag. Horace got up his tree, and
in moment there appeard dele
cation of Moo Workers escourting
delegation Nv Southerners. l
took um out under the tree, Horris
come down, and we went to the
house, and commenst immijitly dis
cusssin the question Nv the day.
The Moo Workers wuz importers and
consistently free traders, and the
Southernors wuz tree traders nv
course. The great and good Gree.
ley wuz ekal to the emergency. He
did not deny that at various periods
NV his life he he'd leaned somewhat
TO the doctrine NV pertekshun,
What his views were now on this
important subjeck ne would not at
this time state, that is, in full. By
reference to his letter it would be
seen that all such minor questions
he'd ben left to the people. Eff the
people wanted free trade, free trade
they shood hev. Eff the people wan
ted perteokshun, while his views he'd
modified somewhat, on that ques-
ton, he shood--
AT this pint / interrupted him.
My Mortified vision saw that infer
nal flag waven. Horris started for
his tree from sheer force of habit.
but l checked him and went out N.Y.
self TO meet them. / wuz not long
in suspense eZ TO who they wuz.
They wuz manufacturers of Massa-
chusetts ! Here wuz fix. South
ernors and Moo York importers, and
Moo England manufacturers, all CAL
lin on a Presidential candidate to
wuHst! 1t wuz too late to get Gree.
ley out Nv the way, and there wuz
no way but to let EN- come together
and to trust to luck. / interdoosed
EN- and stood by to see the result.
Poor Uorris saw the fix he was in
and perspired.
The Moo Englanders opened by
direct reference to the tariff ques.
ton, when l throwed myself into the
breach. / remarked that this was
no time to tech questions eff so little
moment-that all these matters had
been left to the people, who wuz en-
tirely competent to say what they
wanted-thst our principal biznis
wuz TO clasp hands across bloody
chasms, that reconciliation and
brotherly feelin WIZ our best holt
that wat ever patrio. most desired
wuz to see our flag of our common
country, without star missin, again
floatin in the breezes, and that eff any
gentleman desired TO see wat 10 per
feckshen the next President he'd
brought turnip cutter, / shood be
pleased 10 show EN- over the farm,
and quaff with EN- the coolen waters
NV the spring which he he'd be
come ez famous almost ez the Pool
NV Bethesda.
One of the Moo Englanders re-
marked that the flag wux all very
well-the turnips wux all very well,
and that the spring uE like the Pool
of Bethesda, for all the halt aud
blind. and them with sores, bed con-
gregated there, but what he wanted
TO know about wux the tariff on cot
ton goods.
Here, thought /, is trouble, but
there wasn't. At the criticize moment
the great and good Greeley wuz so
overcome with the heat thar he faint.
ed and fell from his chair, which /,
with ekil presence of mind, seized
him and toted him to his room. Ez
l laid him on his face his child like
face wux illuminated with the s1p-
gestion nv Q smile ez he remarked,