Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1872-08-05
Stake holders.-Butchers.

worship at her shrine,
And pay to child of mortal birth
Homage almost diviaei
Stake holders.-Butchers
An extensive alum mine has been dis
covered near Centreyille, Utah.
Oats grow eight feet high in Califor-
MIA.
One cent will buy three cigars in
Hamburg.
Holland is said to have ten thousand
wind mills.
The gold yield of California is now
surpassed by the silver yield of Nevada.
Ex- Postmaster General Randall died
Sunday, July 26, at his residence in Ell
mira, N. Y.
1t is estimated that China will be a
market for American butter and cheese
to the amount Of 5000 tons annually.
A Georgia paper suspended publica-
tion for week in order that all hands
might enjoy seeing man hung
Greeley says that in order to raise
base balls of the average diameter and
density, subsoiling is actually necessary.
One Missouri editor says of another,
that 'his ears would do for awnings to
ten-story wholesale hog-packing estab-
lishment."
"Can you change two dollar bill 2"
said an inpecunious drinker to the bar
tender "Yes." "Well. when | get a
two dollar bill I'll bring it in
Horace Greeley says that there will
be no doughnut crop this fall. He says
the cold March weather killed the buds
on all the dough trees.
The following definition is suggested
for the forthcoming edition of Webster S
Unabridged: 'Tomahawk-an agricul.
tural implement chiefly used for raising
hair"
GREELEY's sERENADE.
I'll hunt the parsnip
Over the plain,
And the wild pig-iron
I'll bind with a chain;
And the great drum head,
So small and neat,
I'll give thee for
Nosegay sweet.
A spunky young lady in Boston (wha
place that ''Bosting" is getting to be !!
vigorously slapped the face of a younl
fop who walked up beside her, and ask
ed Don't you know me, my dear?" l
is thought he will know HER the mex
time he sees her. Served him right.
A Rural editor tries his hand at writ
ing Bridge of Sighs, thus:
One more potato-bug
| Gone to his rest,
| Stepped on so tenderly,
! Cause it was best. y An ut
Poor little tater- bug %@ =
| Smashed in the dust
| In thy prosperity
| Business has bust
An exchange tells that, "at twent
years of age, Leland Stanford arrived i
California with only one shirt to hi
back. Since then, by close attention t
business, he has accumulated over tie
millions. What can man want wit
ten million shirts?
An editor wrote leading article o
the fair sex, in the course of which b
said: "Girls of seventeen or eightee
are fond of beaux.' When the pape
was issued, he was rather shocked to dis
cover that an unfortunate typographica
error had made him say: ''Girls {
seventeen are fond of beans"
a
What appears to be the matter wit
our national birds nowadays? The
i don't amount to shucks any more. A
eagle, in Burton county, Ga, swoope
down upon a thomas-cat the other da,
and took him up; but the thomas-c;
had a few claws himself, and the prou
bird of freedom had to let him drop.
At Mobile recently a she'll explode'
and a piece struck one of our colore
fellow citizens on the head. He fe
around like girl with a grasshopp'
up her trousers-leg, and finally aske
"who had been pulling his hair II
head was uninjured, but the shell W;
burst all to pieces.
Bob-'Jim, de men don't make SUE
fools of demselves about women as
women do about men. If dey look
de moon dey see man in it. If de
hear a mouse nibbling, it's man al
dey all look under de bed last thing
night to find man. Why, l nebb
looks under my bed to find woma
does you?'
There is no accounting for woman
wrath. A man in Albany recent
plunged into the river to save La
who was drowning. and she got as m
as an old hen because he pulled b
chignon off in getting her out. L
probability is that that man won't ma
'.humane society" of himself aga
right away. 'Eaa1 sEl ss
; Mr. Drake. of Buffalo, has alwa
enjoyed his brandy up to last wee
Day and night it has been a source
inward consolation to him; but the Of
er night he got up and went to the cl
ct, where he kept his retail departme
and drank good horn of corrosive 81
Innate by mistake. Mr.. brakes du
looks we'll in weeds, and she is settli
his estate just as fast as she can W
propriety.