The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-03-15
wIrArD HuNOR.
A Fiery steed-Horse-radish

| - CO iHG6Sy"
A Fiery steed-Horse-radish. p
The best "help"-help yourself i
The favorite bird with the baby
its little crow. 81 p ais95 kifHif!
The Cleveland (O) Coroner wears a
little gold kerosene can as o breast
] pin. hsd ss3 ssdcnlI IL ~ .ga:I .
What is that which divides by
uniting and unites by dividing p
Scissors. 80 -. -
In putting s'the best foot forward, :"
always use the right, or it will be
left. aica'as5 90 - 3. in,r,Qs1
Why is spider a good correspon-
dent ? Because he drops a line by
every post. ~ a.f.ss, lt,ijsff,s ~
None of the Boston dailies are. pub
lished between Milk and b Water
streets. Boston Transcript. 81 gaaE
Horne Tooke, when asked by
George III. why he never played at
cards, replied: II can not tell q king
from knave.n 40 ...s1.f1-s
Coleridge tells US Of a man who had
such an overwhelming eself-esteem
that he never spoke of himself with
out taking off his hat. .,'r -. -
Saws an Irishman of Chicago:
tshOOr, there are no people at all in
the most densely populated districts,
and the sidewalks is in the middle
of the street." "t.' Etl.9'1
Mark Twain says. II am different
from Washington / have higher
and grander standard of principle.
Washington could not lie. 1 can lie,
but 1 WON'T" gf.gis i''T o. i.efr
An old farmer in New Hampshire
recently killed a pig, and being asked
how much it weighed, replied that it
did not weigh az much as he expect
ed, and he did not expect it would.
A French countess siezed q philoso-
pher at the supper table and exclaim-
ed, while they are cutting up the
fowls and we have got five minutes to
spare, do tell me the history of the
world, for I want to know it so much. /"
An old lawyer says that the three
most troublesome clients he ever had
were o young woman who wanted to
be married, q married woman who
wanted divorce, and an old maid
who didn't know what she wanted.
An Irishman having jumped into
the water to save a man from drown
ing, upon receiving quarter ola dol
Lar from the person as a reward for
the service, looked first at the money
and then at him, and at last exclaim-
ed: "Pm overpaid for the job"
"Wit and Sentiment" monthly
| journal of twenty-five small quartO
pages, edited and published by Will
liam Howard, has just appeared in
Philadelphia. This amusing periodi-
cal is not a mere compilation Of puns
and Jokes, but aims to treat upon all
the most interesting topics of the day.
josh Billings says: ':Most men
concede that it looks foolish to see a
boy dragging a heavy sled up hill for
the 'fleetin' pleasure Of riding down
again. But 1t appears to me that boy
is sage by the side Of that young
man who works all the week and
drinks up his wages on Saturday
night. ~. a.. IS. ..--s-..,-,
A minister at q colored wedding,
wishing to make some humorous re-
marks, said: ION such occasions as
this it is customary to kiss the bride,
but in this case we will omit it." To
this ungallant remark the indignant
bridegroom very pertinent,y replied:
ION such occasions as this it is Gus
tomary to give the minister $40, but
in this case we will omit it." ari
The Literary World is responsible
for the following explanation: "The
best authorities agree that it has an
origin connected with university
usages. A brick is deep red a deep
re(ad) man is good man in the Eng
lish universities; hence brick be-
comes good man, or good fellow"
During the Clay and Polk cam
paign. the admiration of the Hon.
Walter Brooke of Mississippi for the
great Kentuckian led him to bet
pair of matched horses, all the stock
he had, on the result, and this,
though strict member Of the Pres
byterian Church. OF course he lost,
and of course he was "churched" for
gaming. "All we ask of you, Mr..
Brooke,n said the minister during
the trial, "is to acknowledge that you
are sorry, and promise to sin no
more" "Sorry ?h asked Mr. Brooke,
rising from his seat wish an air of in
jured innocence, Sorry? My dear
brother, when | think of those beauti-
full bays, gone from my gaze forever,
I can truly say, with my hand upon
my heart, that no transaction of my
life gives me more genuine sorrow
than this. - |
A farmer near Nashua, N. H., re-
Gently bargained his farm to another
farmer for $1,000, but when the day
and the purchaser arrived, informed
him that his wife was in mysteries
about the trade, and he guessed he
would back out. But" said the
purchaser, "I have come long dis
lance, want the farm, and must have
it. How much more would induce
YOU to sell" "Well," replied the
agriculturist, "give me $3.50 more and
let her cry" .. .t .H-nh1rF-
"Look here, squire, where was
you born ?" said q persistent Yankee
to a five minutes acquaintance. II
was born" said the victim, i'm IRE
mont street, No. A, left hand side,
on the first day Of August, 1910, at 5
o'clock in the afternoon; physician,
DR.. Warren, nurse, Sally Benjamin"
Yankee was answered completely.
For a moment he was struck. Soon,
however, his face frightened. and he
quickly said: "Yeas; wa'al l calcu-
late you don't recollect whether it |
was a frame or brick house, dew
ye?" r.+ ~. ,r-
How Germany Prevents Railroad Ae-