St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1872-02-23
Why 1 Left the Masons,
BY ELI SHAY.

Why Left the Masons.
BY ELI SHAY.
Years ago | lived i'll the city of Brook
lyn. and had recently become IL member
of the Masonic Lodge. and of course
was very punctual i'll my weekly at
tendance. much to the disgust of my
wife. who. with the whole family. WAS
constantly quizzing me as to our doingS
1T Our meetings. and upon my asserting
that riding the goat was Il part of uur
business. they persisted ill knowing all
particulars about the animal. until |. to
silence them. said | would bring him
home and show him.
Onc evening about eleven o'clock. as
| WIS plodding home from the l.ud gc. |
heard i'll advance of me Il continuous and
pathetic blcating. and soon came up
with Il large goat standing upon the
walk. who had evidently lost his bear
ing>. wandered AWAY. and being i'll great
SIicf. WAS crHing-"l want To 90 home.
never liked goats. and my iil>t ln
pulse was To kick this one (and | have
always regretted | didn't do it, hut the
mOulntul tone of his voice created Il
little sympathy for him i'll my breast.
and patted him kindly on the head.
and Went ON. But the goat followed
close to my heels. and although a>>ur-
ed him his home did not lie this way.
but was probably down the street We
had just crossed, he persisted. A> we
approached my house more earnestly
demonstrated with him on his folly. and
finally persuaded him hy going with
him an'SrOnStantly patting him on the
rear with the toe of my boot. to return
one block. wa> much ont of breath
myself. and | said Ia the goat. Nov.
old fellow. sit down on the cmh and
rest Yourself you're tired I'll he back
in Il minute just want to 20 round the
corner and ! started on the run. hut
in Il moment the goat was at my heels.
reached my home. dartcd mp the step.
opened the door. and with Il feeling of
great relief stepped in. when To my
horror. through my legs into the hall
bounded the goat with Il triumphant
hlcat that echoed through the upper
halls and chambers. awakening the
whole household. The hall lamp Wis
burning brightly. hut up the >tairwayS
all WAS dark. and SAN at Il glance that
everything WAS arranged for the special
convenience of gazcI> from above.
The goat had retired To the further
end Of the hall and stood taciug me
occasionally hlratimg, hut as began Ia
lee somewhat exercised i'll my mind
about then. cannot say whether the
tones were those of triumph and ridiculc
or of defiance. Whichever they Wcrc
| declared war ut once and made fuI the
goat who seemed to understand that /
meant business. and he met me half way
with Il blow from his head which stag
gcrcd me and forced me back Il step col
two. which blow he WIS ungentlcmamly
enough to repeat one after the other
until was driven to the bottom of I'll,
stairs. when he resumed his position in
the fan end of the hall and again faced
me.
Round Number One. First hit for
the goat. came to my ears from alrtt
and as | cast my eyes upward Il peal of
laughter came tearing down the stairs
and could just perceive Il crowd hang
ing over the bauiSterS of both flights.
which knew full well was made up of
wife. children. Il waggi>h Young friend
who lived with us. two visitors and the
servants, full audience in the dress
circle, looking down into the pit to see
the fun.
"Oh, pas brought home the goat ~
cried one of the children.
.'les, and hes practising with it.
said another.
(Which degree is that performance
in ," asked my wife.
Glad we didn't go to the theatre to-
night" chimed i'll one of the visitors.
Time. Time" shouted my young
friend from the upper tier, and thought
so too, and i'll i went for the second
round.
But now changed my tactics: ad-
vanced slowly. keeping close to the
wall, and endeavored to get behind the
beast, thinking | would try the pats on
his rear with my boots again. in hopes
they would calm him and persuade him
to retire, as they had done before while
outdoors, but he evidently objected to
any ..change of base" and once more
charged home" upon me.
This time, however, caught him by
the horns, and then the struggle com
menced i'll earnest. The goat lifted up
his voice i'll loud prOtestations of foul
play, and opened my mouth and gave
utterance to hopes and wishes i'll regard
to goats III general and this one i'll par
ticular, which it might not bc proper to
repeat here. a> had my hands :" full
at the time could not give III! usual
thought and attention to the selection
of the elegant words and expressions
which usually charaterize my conversa
ton. finally said-''you brute. you
won't 80 ont, ha but'-and lac hutted:
and he was the strongest butter | ever
met with SO strong that i'll spite of my
holding 10y his horns, he spread himself
all over the hall, so thoroughly stirring
me up that | laid down Oh the floor to
recover my equanimlty, at which the