The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-05-17

tain rises on the new, exciting sensations
play called "The Sword and the Ploughshare,
Presidential comedy in three acts. tn
managers, Mess,s Schurz and Morton, r.
spectfully announce the joint appearance o
the two distinguished comedians, Grant ant
Greeley, as the rival candidates, supported b.
a numerous company. Public expectation il
excited to the highest pitch, and there is
great diversity of opinion rs to the abilities Of
the twin stars. Reserved seats lin the next
Cabinet and government otfices) are eagerly
sought after, and, strange to say, are expected
to be given gratuitously to the applicants.
The second act opens at Philadelphia, and the
third at the White House; the play to con-
ci''de with grand political transformation
scene called the 'Obliteration of Party Lines. :"
9lr Greeleys line Of business has hitherto
been something of the ''Solon Shingle" order
but his agricultural proeIivities have not been
confined to the narrow sphere of a ''barrel Of
apple sass." His theories on farming have
been spread broadcast over the great republic,
and many a horny handed son of toll has
dwelt with delight over the glowing pages Of
those matchless philosophical works on the
early growth Of cabbages, the aesthetics of tlr-
nips and the delicate nurture Of carrots
Grant forsook the tannery for the field of
battle, where his tanning abilities were Of ines
Unable value on the backs of the rebels. In
fact, no tanner before him ever made such q
success in his business nor conducted it on
such an extensive scale. But we have had
soldiers in the Presidential field before and
the only novelty in this campaign is the first
appearance Of the model farmer in this r6le
Many groundless fears are expressed, in the
event of Mr.. Greeley election, as to the prob
able changes he may inaugurate in Washing
ton. Some are of opinion that instead Of
the annual reception at the White House he
ries, and that subtle theories on the cultiva-
ton Of asparagus may creep into his messages
to Congress. Nay, they go SO far u.s. to say
that he may create a Department Of. Agricul-
ture, giving the person in charge seat in the
Cabinet. A fondness for woodchopping can
not be brought forward as al objection against
Greeley as President any more than did the
cherry tree episode in George Washington's
life interfere with his prospects. The nomina-
ton of the philosopher for the Presidency will
likely exercise a beneficial influence in the
political world. As Chappaqua will become
the Mecca Of all aspirants for Office. they will
adopt every device and stratagem to ingratiate
themselves into the favor of the modern Gin
cinnatus. An expectant collector may be seen
in the vicinity Of the Iaodel farm digging away
for dear life on potato patch or strengthen
ing his muscles in the graceful exercise Of
moving. An ambitious lawyer, who wishes to
become o United States District Attorney, may
take it in his head to break in yoke Of re-
fractory oxen, and a candidate for Post
Office will, perhaps, run the risk Of getting an
ugly squeeze in endeavoring to introduce
wedge into knotty trunk.
''What I Know About Farming will be-
come text book in the public schools, and
pumpkins, early potatoes and turnips will be
quoted on Change as frequently as Erie and
Central The various breeds of poultry will
give rise to animated discussions, and the tenn
perance movement will receive new impetus
from the cooling springs around Chappaqua.
In the bracing country air and in the salubri-
GUS exercise of farmer life there can be no
room for corruption or rings. And then, in
the event Of Greeley becoming President, how
easy it will be for Secretary of State to solve
o knotty problem Of diplomacy after an hour s
exercise with the axe on an obdurate tree
The ways Of politics will become smoot h and
pastoral simplicity will pervade all the de-
partments of government. The famous white
hat will be accepted as the true Liberty cap,
and the public lands will be cultivated on new
principles. Then we may see each shiftless
drone in the busy commercial hives emigrat-
ing to the far West, buying farm and grow.
ing up with some new city On the Other
hand, during the campaign we may find the
supporters of Grant deeply immersed in the
latest army tactics, investigating the various
brands of cigars and inquiring into the pedi
crees of fast horses and the carnivorous quail
ties of bull terriers. The comedy has begun,
and certainly the management has spared PC
pains to tickle the public mind 'v..'~,
Humble Pie for Brother Jonathan.
GIN CONSIDERATION THEREOF THE president