Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-10-11
THAT P1ANo.-The musical heart Of staunton


has never been stirred to its very depths until that
piano, furnished to Prof Anderson rose on the
horizon. The Professor didn't bring it with
him. We shall always say this. 1t is hard to
say where it did come FROM but it is more than
likely it was resurrected out of some coal cellar
where it had lain undisturbed for years, save by
the furtive visits of the cook to abstract wires
for repairs to her hoop-skirt. The pianist was
really good one, of high reputation, being, as
Prof Anderson said, "a gentleman from Berlin,
and the connoisseurs of the town were sitting
waiting for the performance to open that they
might hear some first-class music. When every
thing was dead quiet the pianist advanced, took
his seat with graceful sling, and turning up
his cuffs made first lunge. Horror seized upon
the audience. The school girls gave little short
shrieks of pain and put their fingers in their
ears. Prof. Anderson rushed frantically from
behind the scene and asked if anybody was hurt,
he being under the impression that a circular
saw had gone off and cut man in two. Find
ing his musician still alive, he stopped his ears
and rushed back behind the curtain to bury his
head in barrel of saw dust. The scene among
the professors of music in the different schools,
who had gathered for an artistic treat was APP
palling. At the first note Prof. Ide leaped from
the window of the Hall. He was taken up by
some good Samaritans, who offered to carry
him back, but the Professor entreated them to
s'let me die here" Prof. Ettinger gave a star
tied look and commenced feeling for his revolver,
evidently to shoot the unhappy gentleman from
Berlin'' dead in his tracks. BE was seized by
Prof. Turner who begged him not to stain his
hands with human blood. Prof Schneider sat
utterly stupe6ed, and was found at the close of
the performance feebly humming, "Dear mother,
I've come home to die" without his notes.
1t was clear that after such scene as this,
something must be done, and we determined that
we should do it. The offending gentleman
from Berlin" must be interviewed, and getting
the Professors together we proceeded to the
American Hotel The Professors waited outside
while we stopped at Jaccheri's to get a-cigar.
cigar does reinforce man so. Superintendent
Lichliter seeing murder (and Bumgardner) in our
eye denied that the Berliner was in thu house.
1t wouldn't work. We came for satisfaction and
we could afford to wait. The Berliner realized
it and came out. We stepped to the front and
said
eve are Professors of music"
Ettinger (sotto voce)-"You amt"
Ourselves" We are Professors of music and
we desire to protest against the w-mill feature
you have introduced in piano exercise in this
country. The idea of introducing an instru-
ment only fit for cord wood, and extracting
from it demi semi quavers and intoned crescendo
forte, andante half reef
Ide-s'Oh talk about something YOU know
something about
Ourselves-'Con expressions and jubilante--'
Ettinger-"Oh, come, stand out the way and
let the man talk for himself.'
The gentleman from Berlin-'I am stranger
in strange land am also an orphan. ! have
suffered much. Il have played that piano
which is equal to being broken on the wheel
propose to play something for you now"
He played something charmingly. The effect
was astonishing. The Professors melted at once
The effect on ourselves was also remarkable We
said
'Be calm, my friend, nobody intends to hurt
you. Your rendition of that charming aria is
superb. The elliptic spring with which you
cadenza forza, and the main elevation of the
trill-'
Chorus by the Professors | this is too
bad, put him out"
We looked reproachfully at the Professors
Musical men are 30 jealous of man that knows
more about their profession than they do. We
took our hat and came home to write our musi-
cal article