The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1872-05-31
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

The CRATE game-poke.
An editor says: "We are living
at this moment under absolute des-
potism." We suspect he married
the wrong woman.
Little Jo-seef, caused his father much grief,
IIe ran like shot from mrs. Pot
And left his coat-taiIs behind him.
If a spoonful of yeast will raise
fifty cents worth of -four, how much
will il take to raise funds enough to
buy another barrel with? Answer
may be handed in over the fence.
The local Of the Kankakeo Gazette
says that he does not depend upon
journalism for his daily bread, but
raises hens. Which moves the Dix
on Telegraph to ask whose hens he
raises.
A chap who rooms up above the
eaves-trough impertinently remarks
that although the naturalists make
no mention Of India-rubber birds.
he has seon doves that were gutter
perchers.
SWEET STsTER-"Now don't be
cross boy-have this nice jam Ma
has left us" Cross boy -"Shan't!
Don't like it'll Taint half as good
as ifshe had forgotten her KEYS and
we'd prigged it"
The Norristown (Pa.) Herald says:
London claims 100000 cats-which
is not single cat too many to have,
in case England refuses to settle the
Alabama claims. Remember Paris.
"What does the bee do?
Bring home honey.
And what does father do?
Bring home money.
And what does mother do?
Lay out the money,
And what does baby do?
Eat up the honey"
Fashionable papas, who want to
make splurge, put among their
darling daughters presents a check
for $1,000, or $4,000, or 100000,
as the case may be, having taken
the precautiOn before hand to 90 to
the bank and stop payment.
"Whoro did you say all those mar
vclous things happeneGp-- asKod a
gentleman of a Munchauson tInyeler
who was telling his adventures, "I
dent exactly remember but / Nlink
most of 'em happened in Ruscia."
al should say 1t lH" remarked the
gentleman.
An aristocratic lady, after an4 ious
inquiry as to what would reBleve
paint from her window glass, was
told that "elbow grease" wea the
best thing known, 1VhereupOn she
naivly exclaimed: ooh! I'm so glad
that have found out! Iwond II if
they keep it at the. apothecary'r."
A teacher questioning little boys
about the graduations in the scale of
being, asked: "What comes next to
mani" And here a little shaver,
who was evidently smarting under
defeat in the previous question, inn
mediately distaneed ali competitors
by promptly shouting: ellis under
shirt, maamP'
Horny Hummell, of Decatur, Hi
nois, has in his house a jar of jelly
given to him by his grandfather
many years ago, made by the hands
of Martha Washington, the mother
Of her country. Mrs. Washington
desired to have no jars in her fami-
ly, especially none of her own ma
king, and so, like a faithful wife,
gave tho jelly away.
A colored man at Canton, Missis-
sissippi, lately wished to kill sheep,
but not understanding the process to
a nicely, held the animal upon the
railroad track for the locomotive to
slaughter; the sheep escaped with =
broken leg, but the dead body that
was picked up Immediately after had
on black wool, and wasn't good
mutton either.
Mrs. Partington entered the office
of the Probate Judge (called "Civil.
an, y and enQuired in her blandcst
ones: care you the civil vilian|
'Do you wish to insult me, madam"
said the Judge. eyes" replied the
aniable old lady; "my brother died
detested, and left three children, and
I'm to be their executioner; so ]
want to insult the civil william about
it."
The introduction of the question
of woman suffrage in the Oregon
State Temperance Convention sc
disturbed delegate that he sprana
to his feet and exclaimed: 'I think
that the woman suffrage question /.
an outrage. One woman has com,
into this Convention and kicked M
more fuss than ali the other dele
gates, and I don't go a cent on let
ting her talk so much"