Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1872-03-29
HumOF.

A culinary bird-the cuckoo.
How to make clean sweep-wash him.
The favorite bird with baby is its little
crow.
To relieve cold in the head-Blow the
organ.
Cash advances Attentions to a rich
widow.
The bill we all receive with pleasure !;
the bill Of fare.
A poor place for hungry pig-tbe
trough of the sea.
Wild oats are said to be the only crop
that grows by gas-light
What did Lot do when his wife turned 10
salt? Got fresh one.
You should not stone your neighbor, but
you may rock his baby.
WHY is the figure nine like peacock
Because tit nothing without its tail.
Somebody says that every cord Of wood
given to the nnor is recorded above.
Tho Children say it's scold weather al
ways when haase-eleaning is going on.
Some one describes. philanthGopist as 1
i GiffsfG WHO loves all mankind and neglects his
own family.
Why is the letter G like gentleman who
has left an evening party? Because it
makes one gone.
Why is married fiirt like wheel Be-
cause she goes round with the fezzoes as
we'll as the hub
The world has had its iron age, its gold
Gu age, and its age of bronze, bat the pres
ent is the age of steal.
Patience on a monument has no refer
ence to Doctors patients. You will find
them under monument.
An old lady is inclined to think that
compass would be the best sewing machine,
because she heard it had needle with thir-
ty-two points.
Putting and blowing are not synonymous,
if you puff up a man he is pleased ; where
as, if you blow him up, he is, on the con-
trary, quite different.
Mr. Jones says: I believe I've got the
tenderest hearted boys in the world. |
can't tell one of them to fetch me bucket
of water but he'll burst out crying!'
There's one kind of ship always steer
clear Of said an old bachelor sea captain.
and that's courtship. cause On that ship
there is always two mates and one captain
Jones, 90 reading that ship arrived
short. handed by reason Of having lost man
overheard, said he could not sse how ship
could be short handed if there was one man
over
A country girl, coming from morning
walk was told she looked as fresh as daisy
kissed by the dew; to which she innocently
replied, y ou've got my name right-Daisy;
but his name isn't dew.'
'Ah! Mr. Simpkins we have not chairs
for our company said gay wife to her
frugal husband. Plenty of chairs. ducky, |
but little too much company replied Mr.. |
Simpkins, With knowing wink.
PA, are cannibals people that live on |
other folksf
Yes. my DEAR
Then, pa, Uncle John must be capni-
bal, for ma says he is always living on some-
body
A bookbinder said to his wife at the wed.
ding: 1t seems that now We are bound to- |
gether. two volumes in one, with clasps
Yes observed one of the guests, 'one side
highly ornamented Turkey morocco, and
the other plain calf |
Intoxicated rats are frequently seen in
the vicinity of breweries at Cleveland, and
an effort is being made among the old set-
tiers to organize society to prevent the
young rats from falling into dissolute hab.
its that will ultimately bring them into a
trap.
A Physician, examining student as to
his progress, asked him:
Suppose man fall into we'll FORTY feet
deep. and strike bis head against one of the
tools with which he had been digging what
would be your course if called in as a sur.
geon?
The student replied:
Il should adyise them to let tie man lie,
and Eli up the WELL
A TRAP TO KILL Fool NEGROES. Sa-
vannah negro understands Summers Supple
mental Civil Rights bill to nicely. Hear
ing it read and explained to him, the dars
KEY at once characterized it as "a trap to
fool negroesv He illustrated thusly:
you see. sab, some niger will go to de
Pulaski House and jess set himself down by
a white man. and de white man will Jess fro