Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1872-05-29

hlm a good licking for it. And i
ever" he continued, sternly fixing th'
boy with his eye, g I catch Joe on thu
bars, or playing the tomfool in any
such way, I'll skin him! Remembe-
that Joe, for mean it. Gymnastic'
have caused your poor father misery
enough, without wrecking the happi
ness of his son. [ am no heathen tt
sacrifice to Moloch.n
'Come, Joe,n / said "you seen
uncommonly bitter against your ole
love- But be a tfihe more explicit lei
US hear the whole of your impeach
ment of gymnastics. You seem to be
as violent now in your denunciations
of them, as you were formerly unreason
able IN your devotion to them. Come
now what harm have they done tc
you
"Well, in the first place." grunted
Joe, they have broken my wind ?" /
thought of the five miles an hour but
was silent. "At the slightest exertion.
or quickening of the pace, I begin to
blow like grampus. [ tried to get up
Mount Blanc last year; had to give it
up at the the Grande Mulets eff [ go
in for swimming, kuock up after half
a mile" ,...5
"Wel, but even if that is so, how is
it due to gymnastics ?"
I'll tell you. In the first place, as
I said before, they put on muscle that,
with the least inaction becomes fat
But, besides this, only consider what
fooleries we go in for when we are at it
We get into perfect lather of perspira-
ton we Immediately shove our heads
into basin of cold water, or get some
fool like ourselves to pour can of cold
water down our backs. Of course,
perspiration is violently arrested, and
the system chilled. The result is that
we thicken the bronchial tubes, we de-
ranged the action Of the heart, we be
come asthmatic, and extremely sus-
ceptible to cold"
Well, admit the first count, old
man. You are, comparatively-very
comparatively-speaking, broken-wind-
ed. What next %
"Well In the next place, you never yet
knew fellow goin heavily for athletics
who did not damage himself by over
stralning some part or other. You
knew Dupoids of Baliol-magnitice
fellow saw him throw the hammer one
hundred and twelve feet-well he strain.
ed his left breast, and feels it ever
since. Long, the mile-ruuner, brought
on verex and wears an elastic stocking
Coolan, the spurt-runner, went into a
consumption; my cousin Jack, who
won the sculls, has to wear truss. ]
sprained the right pectoral muscle
when [ was playing some stupid antics
on the trapeze, and directly the cold
weather sets in, [ am never free from
pain in the damaged part"
Proven p [ exclaimed, anxious to
check his "reminiscences of disabled
heroes, which threatened to become
lengthy. "You have made good you1
second count. You are damaged, in
point of fact, a screw-a broken-winded
screw. What next 20
g Besides all this y continued lie,
''I am quite convinced that strong
training makes man heavy, somno-
lent and stupid. Plato, who, to my
mind, is about the only fellow who eve1
understood the subject of education as
a system founded On reason, is quite
right IN saying that physical and mental
training cannot go on simultaneously.
Mark Pattison, too, is tolerably well on
the spot in what he says about the manis
for athletics. Only, you know, he is
weakllng, like you, and a man does
not like to be put right by fellow he
could smash"
" Well, but the Greeks" [ objected
certainly made gymnastics an integra
part of their education. D."
True" replied Joe, Gin the frs
place, the Greeks began their physica
education at time when the mind /,
best fallow, and brought it to an enc
in good time. Whereas our fellows
grind on the river, or in the gymnasium
at the very crisis of the mind; the,
burn the candle at both ends. Besides
the gymnastics of the Greeks went OF
an entirely different principle from
ours. Theirs was systematic, and, 81
to speak, generic, ours are haphazar(
and special. They cultivated the har
mony Of the whole body, we only de
velop particular parts our fellows onl,
aim at putting on Jumps here and ther
One fellow goes in for rowing, and put
lump on his forearm, and another be
side his shoulder blades Another fel
low goes in for dumb-bells and parable
bars, and puts lump on his biceps
Another goes III for running or jump
ing, and puts a lump on his calf. Blu
there is nothing systematic, it is al
chaotic and idiotic. -
"Well, [ suppose you must have i
your own way" [ said. "I will writ
you down an ass, if you like. Let me
see, that makes broken-winded, asin
inc screw. Anything else?'
&C Yes, there are the moral announce
and vexations of finding out that yo1
are perpetually losing the faculty o
doing some absurd thing OF other tha
no one in his senses feels the least de
my temper, because [ could not vaul
over fve-barred gate. It was the same
thing the other day at an athletic fes
tival, at Westwich. was fool enough
to let the humbug me into going in fo1
the hammer" just to show the rustic'
how to throw it. " Well, sir, one of my
old tenants sons threw six feet further
than [ did. But come, we've ha(
enough of this :; pass the port. A few
pounds of flesh more or less can t make
much difference now No more2 Thel
let us go and have coffee with Annie
"Just another minute,"I pleaded
"At this rate we ought not to take any
exercise at all. F."
81 never said that. Take exercise il
plenty-cricket, row, ride, shoot, skate
fence, box, so long as you can do 81
without leading an unnatural life. Blu
if any one wants you to go into training
for any of these things, to knock OF
your pipe, to limit yourself to SOM
absurd pittance of fluid oeridi'ae will
your throat as dry as the Sahara, t.
variegate your skin with crop of boil
or to live at the mercy of some bruta
trainer or some pigmy cox, take m,
advise, and do nothing of the sort. L
is better to remain an abortion hk
you. Tom, than to break down like me
But come up stairs, and then vel
have pipe"
+'Grinds," college slang for athletic sports