The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1872-02-16
CONNUBIAIITIEs.
When morning dawns with gladstone light.
And nights dark hours hee,
With every pulslng OF my heart,
Sweetheart, 1 think of thee.

With every pulslng OF my heart, |
sweetheart, think of thee.
when evenings shadows gloom the earth
And day sinks soft 10 sleep, VIZ
Then at its close as at its birth,
Sweetheart III think Of thee.
The net to catch a wife with-A
coro-net.
To engaged persons-Better never
than late.
New York proposes lady ushers at
weddings.
Elopement in California is called
the Pacific slope"
Women should never be lawyers
they would constantly have "writs of
attachment"
Garrison says that the woman ques-
ton was an "all-embracingn one.
Whosaid it wasn't?
A handsome woman pleases the
eye; a good woman pleases the heart.
One is a jewel, the other treasure.
Smiths widow is thought to be COM
forted for his death, since she is seen
to be so-laced.
Figures won't lie." Won't they?
Does fashionable woman's figure
tell the truth?
Early marriages and no divorce
laws is the right thing for women,
says Mrs Sarah Norton.
Hercules was model husband
rather than stay out late at night he
invariably carried his club home with
him.
The world has grown dark to a
Newark girl who kissed her coach
man by mistake for her lover, the
other evening.
Utah may have its plural wives,
observes Mr.. Quilp, but other parts
ofthe country have very singular ones.
A western man named Archer was
recently convicted of bigamy. SIN
satiate Archer, could not one suffice?"
Widowers seldom die ofgrief. How
ever crushed they may be, if you only
let them alone they will generally
revive. -.-
A cynical old bachelor says that
it is the privilege of hoops to surround
the lovliest of all things, among
which are girls and whisky.
A bachelor is politely described as
a man who has neglected bis Oppor-
tunity of making some poor woman
miserable.
A gentleman the other evening oh.
jected to playing cards with lady
because he said she had such a win
ming way about her.
Some young men are little par
tial to blue-eyed maidens others like
dark-eyed lasses; but the moneyed
girls have the most sUitors.
A writer describing the exodus
from Eden, says: "The devil drove
woman out of Paradise, but he could
not drive Paradise out of woman"
An enterprising dentist in neigh
boring city advertises; SECT your
sweetheart new set of teeth as a
Christmas present"
A New York belle told a sutton for
her hand that she would accept his
| offer in six weeks, if Mr.. SO-and-so
didn't make similar offer in the
mean time.
"Why," asked disconsolate widow,
sis vension like my late and never
sufficiently-to-be lamented husband?"
"Because-oh dear! oh dear its
dear departed ~
| "Misfortunes never come single"
| And so, like birds of a feather,
The marriages and the deaths
Are always printed together.
The tedious routine filtration, in
PRODUCTION, courtship, engagement
and marriage was successfully gone
through with by an Arkansas couple
in thirty-siX minutes.
A bride in Indiana, after the con-
clusion of the marriage ceremony,
stepped gracefully forward and re-
quested the clergyman to give out
the hymn: "This is the way L long
have sought"
A somewhat juvenile dandy said
to fair partner at ball: Don't you
think, miss, my mustaches are be-
cOming" To which she replied ::
well, sir, they may be coming, but
they have not yet arrived"
A lady had her dress trimed with
"bugles" before going to a ball. Her
little daughter wanted to know if the
bugles would blow when she danced.
"Oh, no." said mother, "Papa will
do that when he sees the bill"
1t is the style nowadays when an
engagement is broken off for the lady
not to return the presents given her
by her fiance, or even the engagement
ring, which she keeps as an Indian
keeps scalp as trophy of victory.
1t is common to speak of those
whom firt has Tilted as her victims.
This is grave error. Her real vic
tim is the man whom she accepts. A
happy sin,ile runs thus: "a coquette
Is rose from whom every lover
plucks leaf-the thorns remaining
Tor her future husband"
In New York, ladies when on pro-
menade, wear belt of leather around
the waist, to which is fastened clasp
which holds an umbrella of brown
or purple silk on one side, so that a
lady may carry an umbrella without
being obliged to take her hands out
of her muff.