Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1872-07-24
FACETIE.
Billings wit and wisdom = Good
RezOI ushuns for 1872 and 1878.

ResoIushuns for 1872 and 1873.
That wont smoke emmy more cigars
only at sumbody else's expense.
That ! wont berry or lend-especiallJ
lend 1ps astl ? 519i3l oalgf
That will liy within mi inknm. if
hav tew git trusted tew do it. tssrtf
That will be polite to every boldly
except muskeeters and bed bugs. ~
That wont advise emmy boldly until
kno the kind ov advise they are anxious
tew follow.
That wont wear emmy more tite boots
if hev tew 60 barefoot to do it. ~.
That wont eat emmy more chicken
soup with one-tined fork.
That wont swop dogs with no man,
unless kan swop two for one.
That won't objekt tew emmy man on ac.
kount Of hiz color, unless he happens tew
be blue. 1qa83 81 qi.4sm vai
That ! wont sware emmy, unless am
put under oath.
That wont believe in total depravity,
only in gin at 4 shillings gallon. io
That poverty may be q blessing, but if
it IL, it IL a blessing in disguise.
That will take mi whisky hereafter
straight-straight tew the gutter.
That the world owes me living-pro.
vided earn it.
That ! will stick tew my taylor az
long az he will tew me. r1ag
That won't swop emmy hosses with a
deacon. ,r.j,, r su.
That no man shall beat me in polite
ness, not so long az politeness kontinues
to be as cheap az it is now.
That won't have emmy religious kreed
miself, but will respekt every boldly
else's.
That if lovely woman smaks me on
one cheek, will turn her the other also.
That if man kalls me phool, won't
ask him tew prove it.
That will lead moral life il lose
good deal of phun by it. e..
That if a man tells me a mule won't
xix, will believe what he sez without
trieing it.
That if emmy boldly loozes a goose i
will weep with him, for it is a tuff biz
ness to loose goose.
That il ever do git a hen that can
lay 2 eggs day, shall insist upon her
keeping one of the eggs on hand for
sinking phund.
That it IL no disgrace tew be bit by a
dog unless he due it the seckond time.
That it IL just as natral to be born |
itch as poor but it il seldom so conve-
lient.
That one of the riskyest things tew
IL the bak ov a 60 day note.
That the best time tew repent ov
,lunder IL just before the blunder IL
made. 99 pnh
That i will try hard tew be honest, but
will be just my darn lux tew miss it.
That wont grow emmy kats. Sponta-
leous kats hay killed the DISMISS. |
That will love mi mother-in.law If it
axes all the money kan earn tsw do it.
That beleave real good lies are git
ing skarser and skarser every day.
That will respekt publick opinion
est az long az kan respekt myself in
oing it. 1.1agl
That when hear man Dragging on
is ancestors wont envy him, but will
ity the ancestors. Oh
That wont beleaye in emmy ghost or
hostesses unless they weigh about one
undred and forty pounds and can eat
ood square meal. 81
That wont bet on nothing; for things
hat require betting on lax sumthing.
That j will brag on mi wife all the
me, but will do it silently.
Finally, i will sArch for things that are
tile, for things that are lonesum, avoid
lg all torchlite proseshuns, bands ov
rass musick, wiinmin's rights eonyen-
nuns, and grass widders generally.