The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1872-04-11
Inc Nulsanrr OF AdrIce.

Mark Twain OverfiOws with comic
ideas, and gives them pleasant utter
ance thus laughably hits Oft preva-
lent habit among Travelled Americans
in New York, the habit of advising
those about TO 20 abroad to wait and
buy their clothes IL Paris:
"Trip goes another shirt ~
j 'sWhy, BrOwnw
Buy your clothes in Paris ! Buy your
clothes in ParIsI Blame my Cats, the
next man that tells me to buy my
clothes in Prris, I'll break him 10
twOi I've been trying to hold on and
/ buy Gem III Paris, just as all these
thieves tell me, but that Quaker City
amt ever going 10 sail, dOn't believe,
and by the time she does 1 won't have
nary a rag left.'
Brown, calm yourself! Your gram
mar is Infamous ~
"DOn't talk 10 me about grammar
| Im tit TO euss, or cry, or anything
| that comes handy now. / was going
/ to get Q pair Of boots built two weeks
/ ago, and that sniveling Baxter said,
'fHOld on and buy 'em in Paris
| cheaper and better every wayw And
/ I've held on till these boots are letting
I EO ChEAI hICAE1a eAAAA ~ AeAAlA1 CNEA. y
| fOur hours, and I fetch hone u buck
ct full o water il 'em every night,
and socks can't stand it, and they get
baked 70 my feet, aud the bottoms
pull out every nigat, and 1 wish I
may die il haven't worn out q hun
/ dred and fifty pair in -
''Be reasonable, SON"
''I know what I've done. amt got
/ but just one sock left, and the bOttOm
Of tharll fetch away when pull thar
starboard boot off; and don't you see
that old corn hanging out at that hole
in the port boot? Buy your clothes in
Paris I've hung on, and hung on, till
my coats are all gone to seed, and my
pants are all friZZled out at the bot
toms, and my boots are busted
all out, and my hat is a perfect out
rageOus old ruin-it is by George. It
! looks like the picture of that there
natty old ancient Coliseum at Rome
all sick, and sorrOwful, and rusty,
and battered up. and gone in general
/ ly. COnfound the cOnfOnnded--'
Drown. Brown, 90 slow, lad"
"Buy your clothes in Paris There's
my last solitary shirt come back from
/ the wash with all the after guard
clean gone, flush TO the waist And
| there used 10 be a thousand buttons
on that shirt, and now there amt
nary one Of 'em left. I wish't /
/ had a chance To eat a WasheTwOman
once, do I'd clean her up so good
/ that they couldn't any more identj-
/ fy her at the resurrection than -'
Brown, you can't think how 10
pains me to hear you talk so. ="
''I don't care-I dOH't care 70 moth
/ ing, the way I am now, / want %
make trouble. I want to do something
/ outrageous. want to set a house on
| Ore-I want TO start q riOt-I want
to commit a nuisanee-anything that
will make Rome howl is what Pm
! fixed for at this present writing. Buy
YOUR clothes in ParisI All the scOun-
drels I know have told me that, and
now l amt got more clothes than
| they wear in the Black Crook and
/ I'm living shame and degraded lun-
attic. That's me. Here you black
I them boots, aud black the holes 10
'em particular"
I am glad ne has gone % see that
/ the fellow blacks the holes IN his
/ boots particular" because / can
| have peace now. But between you
anj I. this thing Of swallowing every
/ 50dy's advice mas got one or two
/ drawbacks about it. I am holding
on, myself, 70 buy my clothes in Par
l is, and | have held on 30 faithfully
that I haven't got q rag of every day
/ clothing left that is fit 70 wear in the
/ public street hardly, and the ship
I will not sail for three weeks yet. And
when we get TO buy our clothes in
| COnstantinOple-hOw shall We feei
then2
The advice we have received from
travelled people would fi. a volume.
We must Ouy wells for Egypt, san
daIs for Palestine, field glasses for
Landscapes, books for the ship. On q
thousand and one things we must DO.
when 1 wouldn't give q cent for any
thing but Shakespeare, aud a deck
Of cards, and a couple Of shirts. Perdi-
ton take the adviee Il viii none oft.