The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-01-05
How kobb e 20 anne Il Mason.

| sAo SURF W UltsS.
How kobb Became Il Mason
The following takc-of ofthc mys
terious ceremonies popularity suppos'
ed to be attended upon initiation into
a Masonic Lodge we find among ou,
exchanges. The ridiculoussand ex.
travagant will. we apprehend, be rel.
ished by Masons them selves.
l Aatter myself I understaud some.
thing about secret societies. I've
had passion for that sort of thing
ever since I was old enough to tell
lies. 1 have secured around pretty
extensively among tho different Or
CARNATIONS. I've been an Orange
man, and a Fcnian, and Good
Templar, and a counterfeitcr, aud a
knight of Malta. I have belonged
to the Sons of Temperance, and the
Odd Fellows, and the Young Mems
Christian Association, and the Band
of Hope, and band of robbers. I've
been into everything, and thought
knew everything almost; but l
didn't.
Three months ago I become infatu-
ated with Masonry, and since join
ed that organization I've discovered d
that there are several things con-
nectcd therewlth that outsiders don t
know just pretty good deal about.
Now, Mr.. Eahor, propose making
these things public, not out of com
passion for nay fcliow-men who, may
be tending towards Masonry. and act
as warning aud 50 on, beca use
baven't,got ! spark of human kind
ness in my breast. and 1 would rather
see every mothers son of them put
to the torture than not; but because
| have spite against the fellows that
initiated me-who made the iron too
hot, and the goat too frisky, and
treated me with = roughness general
ly that the occasion did not require.
Before Illuminating my narrative I
will state, for those who don't know,
that Masonry is about six hundred
THOUSAND years old. 1t wSs old when
the fraternity got into trouble at the
Tower Of Babel, and it was old when
Adam first put on his|apron as Grand
Master in the Eden Lodge. AS more
convenient proof of it's antiquity, I
would just mention that party of
miners, the other day, in one of their
excavations, came upon the pstriicd
remains of a Masonic Lodge, with
tho members in their places and all
complete; and eminent geologists,
who have examined the fossils, say
that these bodies have been imbed-
ded in the rocks for more than fifteen
thousand years.
On the evening I was to be initia-
ted, I made my will and took a m ost
affeetionate leave ofmy family. Thus
prepared, ! started for the lodge, &C.
companied by brother John Smith,
S. r. s. P. t., who was to "see me
through" We had no difficulty in
getting past the first entrance, but
when We knocked at the second, a
fat little follow looked out through a
round hole in the door. and put this
starting interrogatory to Brother
Smith: Observation-Disclosures"
To which Brother Smith replied
choerfully: "Nix-my-dolly-whaok
-doo." The little fellow then said:
Observation-Disclosures =
and my conductor giving sstisfas :
tory answer. -vewsre permitted to
enter. Before I had time to look
around me, > lopg-legged fellow
knocked me over with a club; he then
stood me on my feet, and another
m tauder made i rush st me and
brought me down again.
AfteaI had undergone this exhil-.
Grating exercise for about fve min.
utes, they stretched me out on =
bench, and examined my teeth and
pinched my muscles. and stuck pins
into me all over, and showed cayenne
pepper up my nose. and poured,molteu
lead in my trowsers pocket, and
pulled hair out ofthe back Of my neck
with red hot pincers, with : view, I
suppose. to make me feel unembar-
rassed and at home.
When came to my senses I was