Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-02-15
From the Valparaiso yidette
Washington Correspondence.
WASHINGTON, Jan. 81, 1872.

w Jan. lS{Z.
VANITY"
"Wots your usual taps" said Sam Wei.
Ter to the pious Stiggins.
"All is vanityr' groaned Stiggins, "all
is vanityr'
Wv course" returned Sammy, ebut
Wlch is your particuler wanity?"
| III thar Is any one of them less odious
than the other" said Stiggins, ''it is the
liquor called rum, warm my dear youno
friend, with about three Jumps of sugar to
the tumbler.n
There's lots Of Stigginses in the Civil
Service, and all other reforms. It's
amazing to see with what equanimity
these gentlemen take their little rations Of
federal pap, after cursing the system that
permits them to do it. "All is vanitv."
says Schurz, but when, after being paid
So,o00 year and forty cents mile for
travelling, and furnished with newspapers
and stationery to the amount of s125
year, how calmly and readily he votes
hlmseH so day additional and mileage
and Incidental expenses, as member of
the Committee on Retrench1nent.
All is vanity" cries Thurman. but
now easily he squeezes $3.50 from the
public teat for his Expenses" while in
Calltornla, although he is paid an annual
salary OF $14 day, including SUNDAYS
ior attending to the peoples business.
All Is vanity shrieks Trumbull.
The service shall not be used as ameans
q personal or party patronage Presi
aena Is appointing his relations-look at
1t, my fellow citiZensl" and then see with /
what subllDliy he draws $195 in cash for
newspapers and stationery, and how
cheerluliy and consistently appoints his
own nephew clerk Of the Judiciary Com !
at salary Of $3.50 per day. of
course there is no allegation here that !
these practices are wrong, but something
-eJIs Us that !runbull and Schurz and the |
can't all three be right.
AFUNNY SCENE.
\ scene occurred in the Senate the 9th
er day, which to those who witnessed #
was immensely funny. One of the clerks
lad a friend visiting him from the coun-
Try, and wishing to show him unusual at
-entlon, he secured him a seat in the diplo-
matte gallery Soon after the visitor took
MS seat, the clerk, from his seat in the
senate, observed the British Minister
inter the gallery, accompanied by two or
nree gentlemen, and take a seat lust in
ront OF his friend. Anxious that the lat
er should see all the notables, the clerk
wrote the following note and sent il to
lls friend by messenger:
. " DEAR Tom:-That fellow lust in front Of Won is
1r Ilr EDWARD Thornton, the British Minister Itis
ne ne one with the red nose and the mutton Chop
'hiskers Take good look at him"
The messenger didn't happen to know
SIR Edward, and the clerk had the NOR
lhcatlon OF seeing him descend step or ,
wo, hesitate, and then deliberately hand
he note to the great Envoy Extraordinary. (
nd Minister Plenipotentiary himself I
III Edward readit. He put on his glasses {
nd read 1t again. He got up and went .
"a mo the hall a4d sc -rcad il ar, laushed t
III he cried. He came back and spm- Ia
loned his friends and read it to them T
he messenger smelt a very large mouse. t
| think | made a mistake he said
On, no, said Thornton, this describes $
'e Red nose and mutton chop whisk S
rs, and again he went off into conyul- RI
ons: Finally lie prepared to go, and as a
lett be handed the note back, and if
as taken back to the clerk for redirec
on: The latter has quit sending notes
the galleries, and his friend has gone D
ome, without having taken that good b
ok at Sir Edward Thornton. fl