Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1872-01-18
Editorial Brevities.

Saloons are the poor mans evapo-
rators.
Washington's birthday comes on
Thursday this year..
No fights andno DRINKS for the past
week. Mayors Office quiet.
A paper that takes-A sheriff. war
rant.
That takes a paper-a maj of good
sense.
Thirsty Chicagoans when about to
imbibe, say Specify your funeral pro-
moter."
Hard on the old Prosecutor-to be
beat and then blackguarded by his
own party friends.
The Republicans have settled upon
Philadelphia as the place to hold their
next National Convention.
The most irredeemable bonds yet
known to the financial and moral
world are vagabonds.
An exchange tells its readers to look
out for counterfeit sos. Better look
out for good ones.
The name of the Lieutenant Cover
nor of Ohio will be changed by the
Legislature to MULE-er!
Utah may have its plural wives, OBJ.
serves Mr.. Quilp, but other parts of
the country have very singular ones.
The Legal-tender act was decided
Constitutional, by the Supreme Court,
on Monday last. Chief-Justice Chase
dissented.
Handling currency is a fruitful agen-
ey for the spread of smallpox. That's
why so few printers suffer from the
disease.
If you don't stop using tobacco, be-
fore you know it you will have the
amonrosis angina peetorsi, hypochon-
c%eiasis, and locomotoiataxy.
Tlle editor ofthe Register" thinks
houses OF prostitution better than Sa-
looms Well, as the old woman sal
when she kissed the COW, 'it,s jest
OWN to a fellers taste"
The name adopted by our City
'Dadds" for the new Fire Eng ne slg-
gests the idea that another is i'll
contemplation. "EAToN No. l. When
will No. 2 arrive?
We understand the Saloon keepers
of Eaton intend presenting the editor
of the "Register" with a handsome
gift for his gratuitoas advertising of
their business.
A Connecticut paper says that a
lIwyer hung out his shingle in the
town OF Bethel, in that State, but left
after a year,, he having had only ono
case-that was of inf1ammatory rheu-
matism.
A witty editor, who had just failed
says he did it with all the honors of
war, and retired from the field with
colors fiying-sheriffs flag iuttering
from two windows and the door, and
a white flag hung out from his person
as a token of surrender.
While many of our neighboring
towns have been sadly afflicted by that
most terrible malady, small pox, in
epidemic form, we are thankful to be
able to hat thus far, our
town has been entirely free from the
dread disease.
OLIVER CLEVELAND, one of the
hands at the Seat Factory, came near
losing his life on Tuesday last, by be-
ing caught in a large revolving wheel,
used in that establishment for polish
ing old metal. The belt was thrown
off by another of the hands i'll time to
save him from a terrible death. He
was severely hurt.
A Chicago paper offers as a premi-
UNI for three new subscribers, a nail
taken from among the ashes of the
barn which once sheltered the COW,
that kicked over the lamp, that burned
up the city of Chicago. We advise
our Mayor to go for it.
The Excelsior Seat Factory" boys
will give a grand Ball at the Town
Hall OF: next Saturday evening. AL
who want an evening of fine enjoy
ment and are willing to "pay the fid-
Ter" and behave like gentlemen are in
vited to come and participate.
The "Register" says the success of
our Prosecuting Attorney was a Ii
cense for "Free Whisky" and at the
same time has a correspondent abusing
the old Prosecutor for not prosecuting
the Saloon keepers! How is that P
Mr.. Campbell is, and always has been,
a temperate man, and a member of
the @. Us here. Amt our neighbor a
little "cracked" on the temperance
question?
"Take a little wine for thy stomach's
sake and thine often infirmities," is a
solemn injunction Of the Scriptures,
and being a believer i'll the Good Book,
we complied moderately 60 the other
evening, at the residence of our friend