Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1872-05-09
HIGGnfes AND TIE WIDOW.

One Sunday Higgins came into my
Office and sat down without':a word.
For some minutes he sat still, watch
ing me intently as if he was trying to
make out by the sound Of my pen
what WAS writing.
esquire" said. he at length, "dM
ever tell you ahnut my ecrape with
the widow Horny, up here on the
river?"
"Never did," said I, laying down
my pen, " let's hear it"
They're curious creatures, widows
is" said he ini. meditaive tone, land
the more you study. about. 'em the
more you don't know anything about
'em. What was this thing I've read
about in Egypt, orsume other coun-
try, that nobody ouid,unriddlc r
The Sphynx. probably" I replied.
"Well," be continued, that was
widow as sure as. you ever had
granny. Everything else in the earth
has been found out but them, and
they re az much q mystery to-day as
the length of tie North Pole.
You may read the history of the
world from Genesis to Revelations.
and you'll ind that widows has been
at the bottom or top Of FIVE quarters
of all the devilment that's been cut
up. Was You ever in love with one?"
"T,ots Of them" said l..
You're a great gander-that's
what you are, said he. " A. man
that loves one and gets over it won't
never git bit by another, if he's got
as much sense as q ground hog. |
don't consider that I've got any sense
at all, but I'm little grain too smart
to let another of them get all the
trumps on me. The widow Horny
that 1 was speaking Of, is little the
handsomest woman, I reckon that
ever looked man into fits, and |
ought to be a judge, for I've seen lots
of pretty women in my day: Sh"
was about twenty-five years old when
1 went up there to wo:k. just in t e
bloom oil her beauty, and as tuu OF
develtry as three year old mule
colt. There was a ball over at Jen-
Eins', and of course / went, for |
always go where there's any fun going
on, and generally act the fool before
7 get away, of course.
The widow was there, dressed as
fine as Soloman's lilies, anu flying
around as frisky as a young lamb IN
-s.-.,o- o-pal~l..--f-sS.- .-;;s>traauaeata ia her-
and ak her to dance, with me and
when she flashed her eyes at me and
said ."yes,' I jumped up like / had
se. down on no. griddie. You may
talk about sensation, but when she'
took hold OF my hand aud sarter
squeezed il. L felt sensation as org
as a load of wood, and it kept running
up and down MY back ike 3 squire
with 4 hawk after him. I'm. very
iond of dancing, but I'll be hangedif !
: know whether l enjoyed it that nigh
or not, ior every time she took hold
of my hand III commence feeling
curious behind my ears and mp and
down my back again, and then l
would mt know whether 1 was on
earth or in balloon, or on comet,
or aut thing about it. 1t was ln.
doubtedly caae o. love at first sight,
and powerful bad case at, that. For
a wonder;I got through the froltc
without making myself conspicuous
or cutting ur any extras, as ra III
the nabit Of dong vhensf 90 into
public. Ed. set my pegs to 60 home
with the widow after the ball, but
Just as I was fixing my mouth to ask
her, up steps big, long, leather,
faced doctor, named Mabry and
walked her right of before my eyes.
That rilel me little. but / kept my .
tongue still, inward'y swearing to
break his bones the very first oppor-
tunity that presented itself. | saw
there was no use in saying anything,
so / went hume and went 70 bed, and
all the rest of the night l was dream
ing about rainbows, angels, butter
Ae., fddles. widows and doctors,
mixed up worse than . Dutchman S
dinner.
"Well, Squire, to make a short
story Of it, l made up my mind 20 have
the widow. or kill myself, or some
body else
$50 / made it convenient to be on
hand where she was, upon all occa-
siions. l couldn't eat nor sleep nor
work, and if The thing had held on, l
wouldn't have had sense enough left
: to,skin a rabbit. Butt WIS deter
: mined it shouldn't last long, ior |
!, been fooled SO often By Women that l
thonght / wouldn't give her time to
thiak of anything but me- >he.ap
peared to take to me rig 1t sharply
and the doctor seemed inclined IT,
mix in with me, but l didn, t consider
nm 40 more than brush fen. e. fer
1 9.s so far gone I thought she coul,i
see nobody on earth but me- Wei
Squire, things went on 80 tor about"
m;nth, and one sunday screwed up
nv spnnck and put the question TO
her ,he sorter laughed and s?rter
looked one-sided, and finally told me
size couldn't give nae an answer just
taen, but if I'd call at her house next
Thursday evening, she'd give me Il,
final answer. Thinks I yon are mime
iuat us sure as there's & fiddler below
Whenever a woman axes time
study she'll say ye,. Squire, dom,
thespeets say something about, the
calculation of men and going crook
ed2 ;,
MieeSand men, Burns says" l
.answared
efI mice and rats is all one,
aud 30 is men and fools sometimes, as
Ihaye fonnd .out in my travels. l
was 81 sure she would have me yent
off aid d;spent all my money for fine
clothes; thinking would have them
,.aasav-{S 1the wedding-and | did |!