The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1872-02-29
HUMOROUS.

alluded to IS a man with his head above
timber line
Why does donkey eat thistle! (this'l
paIzie ycQ.) Because he's al ass.-CIsci,-
nat. Commercial.
What is the difference between the en-.
trance to barn and loafer in printing
Office. One is barn door and the other
darn bore.
A stranger in GAINESVILLE, meeting IA
freshman, inquired if that was the way -
the main portion Of the city. The mana
portion, is it? Begorra, yer right. Its
the mansst portion of this or any other
town."
Customer" you call that veal
outlet, waiter. Why, it's an insult to every
true calf in the country
Waiter didn't mean to insult you,
sir"
\ little girl down East, who was irnpa-
tiently waiting the tardy movements of her
cried out, Come, mamma, the bells stoD.
in and Dol's awaitin." ...
A Danbury Comm German is named
Observation-Disclosures. How would you
like, asks the NeUs, to stand on back
stoop, with the Thermometer eleven degrees
below zero, and call tina. chap in to break
fast.
Tipsev customer: z" \ pint o whisky.,
please shir." Publican: "Ye'll get nss
mair whisky here, McTarvish. Haven't I
told you in plain English. Dye want it in
Latin or Greoks" Tipsy customer: "No,
thank We, shir; l want it in bozxle."
The Cleveland Herald says that the other
day rural gentleman, on train of cara
approaching that city, was observed intent
ly gazing at the face of the gage to indicate
the degree of heat in the car. lie finally
made up his mind that it was the correct
railroad time, and whipping out his bulls
eye" he proceeded to set it carefully by
the gauge.
A new and careful bridegroom in Cleve-
land, kept the wedding-ring in his mouth
during the fore part Of the ceremony. 80
that he could find it when the proper mo-
ment arrived. lie mumbled along all right
until the minister winkei OF him as hint
to produce the ring, when, in his nervous
ness, he swallowed it.
I'm sorry" observed the clergyman.
in sympatmzing tone; "Mrs. Burt has .
heavy burden to bear Yes, she does,
that's So" acquiesced the old farmer.
"She's laid there fat on her back this sew
en- year. Seems sometimes as eff should
git altogether wore out. | do wish she'd
get well-or sut}.in'."
a lady was arrested at Cincinnati, on
Friday last for shop-lifting Being asked
why she committed the theft, she declared:
" she couldn't help it, 1t is only neces-
sary to add that prior to coming to Cincin-
natl, she had been an employe in the
Treasury Department in Washington
Evil associations will raise the devil with
any one.
GARDENING FOR LADIEs.-Make your
beds early in the morning instead of lying
thereon; SEQ buttons on your husbands
shirts; do not rake up any grievances;
protect the young and tender branches Of
E, all n ,g
in your face, and carefully root out all an
cry feelings; cul!icate all womanly graces,
and expect good crop of happiness.
At an examination by Scotch minis
ter Of his flock, previous to the administra-
ton of the communion, a man was asked:
"W hat kind Of man was Adam ;" "Ou.
just like ither foulk !" The minister in.
sisted on having more special descrip-
ton of the first man, and pressed for more
explanation. "Weel," said the respondent,
che was just like Joe Simpson, the
horse-couper." GLOW SOP" asked the
minister. "Weel naebody got ony one
thing by him."
Judge Chambers, of the Belmont coun-
ty, Pennsylvania, Common Pleas, is an
d" old bachelor" at party in St. Clair
vile, the other evening, young lady was
standing in draught, when the Judge
stepped up and remarked, "Miss --,
will protect you from the draught with
my person." She replied, "Do you prom
Use always thus to guard and protect met"
Through his proverbial gallantry he re-
piled, Il do" Extending her hand, she
remarked, Judge, you will reeollect this
is leap year" The Judge was for mo-
ment non-plusscd, but finally succeeded in
saying, "Iou must ask my mother II
the old lady is alive, he is goner; if not,
he is safe.