Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1872-12-20
miscellaneous Stems.

A Philadclphian has invented "wnter-prooi
baptismal pants"
They utilize ague-stricken people out West
by sending them up apple trees to shake
down fruit.
A famous skater died in New York, the
other day, and in tho funeral sermon the
minister said he had "gonc where there was
no ice"
An Illinois school-boy has been fined by
police magistrate for kissing the school-mis-
tress under what precise criminal statute is
not stated.
The married women of Hannibal, Mo-,
have formed "Come home husband club"
1t is -four feet long and has brush upon one
end.
OF course this happened in Paris; A fellow
saw girls corpse in the morguc, fell in love
with her, and killed himself TO Join her in
the grave!
Nashville Banner proposes to publish all
births, and "hopes that parents will make
every reasonable effort to have the list full
and complete
Frenchman says: "Rcspcct for women
requires lis never to doubt word of what
she utters self respect requires us never to
believe word of what she says"
Illinois has produced another beautiful
blonde clergywo man in the person Of Rev.
Miss Jennie Tracy, aged sweet l6, who is
turning the hearts and heads of sinners in the
town of Elgin.
There is said to be u man in Illinois who
has had tho smallpox five times. A man
who is mean enough thus to monopolize the
smallpox offs whole community ought to
be taTed and feathered.
A highly scented cargo from Newburyport
the other day, comprised 300 barrels of on
ions, 200 barrels of herrings, 300 barrels OF
mackerel, 1913 barrels of ram and 5000 cab
bages.
To advertise is to cast your lines in golden
waters. You may not catch fish. If you
do, it is your gain. But if you do not cast
your line at all, it is certain that you will
catch nothing.
The New York World states that justi6able
; homicide is now held to include "the case o.
every man who kills any other man on &C
count of any woman, and of every woman
who kills any man on any account whatever
Our common school system has been adopt
cd in Sweden, Spain, Japan and some part
r of the South America. The japanese gov
eminent has appropriated 100000 for tn,
establishment of primary schools.
Somebody figures out that if the EnglisI
, sparrows go on propagating at the rate o
doubling every year, in 100 years there wll
be 5000, 100000 of sparrows to Gael
square inch of the world
Nearly all the sources of unhappy Ireland
miscries may be indeNed with the letter p
thus we have pigs; politics, patriotism an,
potcen; population, poverty and potatoes
and, though last not least, Pat himself.
!. Justice in Kansas Is more certain an
more severe than in New York. The pen
atty there for nearly killing ones wife an
D quite killing ones servant is fine of 50
= and this penalty was sternly enforced by
Kansas court, last week.
An American was recently married in Par
. is to niece of Madame Theirs, and the Gel
emory lasted an hour. The idea of waitin
: an hour before you can have the right to rap
n tmously exclaim, Come to these arms, m
own one, is perfectly absurd.
, A minded mountain editor says
+ THE one dollar gold pieces are to be with
drawn from circulation. They are grea
1 nuisance. We have searched for one of ther
n in vain many times in the depth of n sma
pocket-book. And we have lost, probably
dozens of tEem every day for years.
i A country youth inquired at II city dru
store for ten cents worth of Glove powders
something that wouldn't stir her up mucl
. but make her dream of him of nights" Th
, urbane druggists clerk put up some magne
ia, and cautioned the purchaser not TO Civ
ms victim too much of it ut n time, but ratl
i err win her affection by degrees.
n A little boy who sang, 81 want TO be Il
angel in Sunday school with so much enc
gy that he nearly choked himself confesse
:, to an enterprising reporter that he real
u wanted to be n captain on canal-boat.
y it right to encourage children in untruthfu
ness, by allowing them to sing such melc
u dies?
u They attempted to kill n book agent out
II Omaha, the other day. He was robbeC
thrown into the river. Knocked off the car
d pitched from n high bridge into the rive
o again, but in two hours after came aroun
ID with new illustrated edition of the Bib
and tried TO get y subscription of the leadC
I. of the attacking party.
4 A sign painter recently decorated the sid
N of new house with these words. Mr.
Brown Dealer in all Sorts of Ladies' III
ia town was in tumult of wonder us to VIII
nj might be the nature of such business, unit
l. the painter, recovering nom aweek's Hines
finished his work by adding land Gontl
T. mems Wearing Apparel
h. A Louisville man who had only been N
r quanted with his girl two nights, attemp
~ cd to kiss her Mt the gate. In his dying d.
position he told the doctors that just as
" kissed her the earth slid out from under h
W feet. and his soul went out of his mout
y while his head touched the stars Lat
" dispatches show that what allied him was Il
old mans boot.
:" "a Middlebury Lady writes thus to Il
. Register s-MR. EDITOR.-l can think Of b
~ two reasons why dTessmaker should pc
u nit II hole to be made through the wall b
tween gentleman apartments and her sho
Do 1t must be either for telegraphng when Il
IN coast is clear or to crafty the young men
10 curiosity and desire tobecome familiar vii
n' dress fitting.
That is very clever fellow" said
90 shrowd student of human nature, whC
to pointing out to his friends prominent legi
no lator in neighboring state. "ls he, i
or Decd was the reply--"now pray tell II
50 what you call clever member of the lie
islattfe." "Woll, l mean one who, If he
90 for you is for you like -, and if he
=. against you don't cost much to change him
mt Pity the sorrows of George Lanham
~ Eout,oLy lie DyiCe ran off with "A oh,