Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1872-07-25
Al wise traveller never despises his

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A wise traveller never despises his
own country.
No man can get rich who lounges in
stores and saloons.
Ii is our own vanity that makes the
vanity of Others insufferable.
Read not books alone, but men, and
chiefly be careful to read thyself. 4
An editor says he once partook of a
beverage SO very strong that he could
not tell whether it was brandy or a
torchight procession that was going
down his throat.
Some people can never be too poor to
marry. A young couple commenced to
keep house recently, whose only crock
cry consisted of an ink bottle and an
imperfect chart of china.
An alligator has been killed in Bell
county, Texas, which measured IL feet
u inches in length, and was thought TO
weigh 45O pounds.
A tooth of the Emperor Napoleon L.
was sold the other day at Brus els for
165 francs. Several affidavits atteSted
the genuineness of the relic.
A sentimental and spooney youth
having, in transport of ardor, told his
love that "a hundred million years of
eternity might pass away and still bet
ter than his God would he love Her,"
the young lady naively remarked that
at the end of eternity she would recip-
rocate his attention.
A gentleman was introduced to a
young lady recently, and addressed her
as follows: "Where do you live, when
at home ?" To which she promptly
replied: "When Pm at home, I live
there"
A prisoner arraigned beforea Record
er in New Orleans was told: + really
don't know whether ought 10 fine you
81 or $40; what's your idea about it?"
Prisoner-ssYour honor, all / have to
plead is that you will not set down
ldltgIH in malice"
An irate Western editor recently
wrote to a contributor: "H you don't
stop sending me such abominable poet
Try, I'll print piece of it some day,
with your name appended in full, and
lsend a copy to your girl"
Grant and Wilson Clubs being rapid
ly organized in all parts of the Union.
A club was formed in the Twenty-sec-
ond ward of New York the other eve
ming, after when over one hundred
\ Democrats came forward and were en-
rolled as supporters of the National Re
publican ticket.
"If it's a paper man ye are, yez can
cAl1 l1lrx n OF .Cf 70
ldivil a bit of rest I've had since l lost
the rayporters. Be aft wild ye,e say"
l Hrs. O'Leary Of Chicago. /.-1
A Utah settler was recently tried for
J scalping his wife, when the Judge re-
marked that Sin the east, where he
came from, instead of scalping their
wives, men now load them down with
false hair and kill them with kind
: ness" whereat the audience laughed.
An Indian being asked what he did
for aliving, replied: "Oo!me preach ~
I.Preach! said a bystander, "what do
you get for it p t.Sometimes me get
r shilIin', some times two shillin'' y
/ '.W ell, amt that mighty poor pay p
g "Oh, yes, butts mighty poor preach
DIR. Greeley, when a. young man
a worked as a compositor in printing
: office in Vesey street.. He was passing
through Nassau street, one day, on the
!, :, way to his daily labor, shutting along
u with his usual .shambling gait, wheI
v he attracted the attention of an old wo
e man, evidently visitor from the rura
. districts. She stopped, watching hi:
: movements as he passed by, and, turn
y ing to bystandsr, said: "What a pity
r aWhat is a pity ?''s "Why, that {
elyoung man like that should be druH1
n SO early in the morning."
:. Henry Clay Dean, formerly of Iowa
;s and one of the most vulgar, outrageous
= and infamous copperheads in the Wes
81 during the war, is to run on the Glib
p eral" Republican ticket of Missouri a
is a candidate for Congressman at large
He was once preacher, but abandone'
his pulpit for politics, and has gyrate'
u kown to his present level. He is no
le torious for personal uncleanliness an
er plantation manners. An exchang
II congratHlates its readers on the fact tha
:. since the performance is to come off i
81 Missouri, "Iowa will not be obliged
n hold its nose, or go into the cologn
at business unless the wind is steady 'froI
10 the South" ."---C Chicago Journal.