The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1872-12-27
HUMOROUS.

When Charles Lamb visited the Ca
thedral at Litchfeld bis guide told him
that three men once tlined upon the
top Of the steeple. "'rhey must have
been very sharp set, "said Lamb.
A Dutchman getting excited over
an elopement Of married woman,
gave his opinion thus, If my wife
runs away nit anodder mans wife, |
\ shake him out Of his preeches, ii She
pc mine fadder, mine Got y
A widower who had never quarreletl
with his wife said that the last day Of
MS marriage was as happy as the first.
Another widowersaid the last day Of
his marriage was the happiest,
The Bridgeport man attempted. to
make his children afraid of fire BY
scorhing the ends Of their fingers.
but his wife took him aud scarborough
y toasted a much larger surface that
he lRs taken no comfort since, lie
wants to know what is to become Of
thesocial fabric /, fimily discipline Is
to be mderminedi in this way.
The other day a little.boy who had.
cut bis finger ran to his mother and
cried !; lie it up, tie it quick. for the
juice Is all running out y The same
urcllin, on one of the late excessively
hot days, appealed to his mother for
help. saving: "Ia, do fix me, for,
I'm leaking all over.'
Charles Lamb. one afternoon, in
returning from dinner party, took
his seat In a crowded omnibus, when
stout gentleman subsequently looked
il and politely asked, ( All full in
sideg "
! tlon'tknow how 1t may be, Sir.
with the other passengers" answered.
Lamb, "but that last piece of pie dill
the business for Inc -
A mulatto girl. in attempting to
cross the track of tile Louisville and
Nashville Railroad. recently. was
struck by the eow-catcher and thrown
back Hpon the pilot, SHE was found
to be unurt. and remained there qui-
city enjoying the ride until the next
station was reached, when she Jumped
Dit and exclaimed, "Dis Il les de-
place wanted to come to-
A boy got tooling around his fathers
lorseS, Until finally one of them put
lis foot inllis face. He was carried
y and the doctor seHed nphis lips and
landaged his eyes. and ponlticed his
heeks, bnt he puffed up aud laid abc0t
number Of days; and when he began.
. get little better he called for Il
and casing his eyes
pon it his couItenauce fell. 'sE'atIier,
b you think will ever be as pretty
gain I" mo. my SON, the Old man
aplied, ''yon'Il never be 50 pretty
gain, but you'll know a darned sight
l0re." :" Dt,4
A lAly made complaint to Fred
rick the Great. King of Prussia:
Gonr Majesty" said She, "my hus-
md treats me badly" That's none
my bu'llleSs." replied the King.
But he speaks i'll Of you." said the
dN That. ''repliedaife, us none
your business. -
Al old man who believed that
what was to he would but who.
n very particular to have his gun
ith him when he Went among tile,
dians, was once disappointed IN one
his usual trips becalse his gRM was
t within reach. Tanalized by the
ggestloH that he "would not die till
time citme. = and TINT the want of
gun made no n,atter: but, "
q he. suppose | should meet an
Iliah whose tinle came. | woHid not
G te6e wititoHt my gHn!7'f aa4
?. 7 am a. lover rejected? PRAY
rat shall do? SImll | 'sshuffie
Is neltla.." like some loyes tl1ies.
OH iiog for sIrh actions make
ste Of good blood. Just keep up
IIr courage chance Il still
odl Remuster your forces. yru
orS uillllrL anu 90 lOrtll t0tlle coll
sst Of some other girl.
Y dumb man recently went to law
III a deaf man. The latter. Of
Irse, was the degf-endint.
Iney are still growlinggab0 the
atlIer at the centerS ofObserWtl0n.,
ag Invariably speak Of, the mean
ipemtllre.
Memphis paper defines advertise,
10 be 4 "bGaher which draws Uaal--
leEs..'