Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1872-03-01
A STRUGGLE FOR A MUSTACHE.
BY c. a. STEPHENS.

Bh Z. y. STEPHENS.
THIS is for boys, of course. Who ever
heard of girls being interested in mus
tachesl What can they know of that
strange longing which goes out from the
very soul of every yOungster of dozen
sometimes younger-whiuh gets stronger
and stronger every year, as he goes into
his teens, and, like Schiller's Whirlpool.
ne0er lr10 rest till his upper lip is mustach-
ed ? What can they know of it? Moth
Ang, That's why don't think it worth
while for them to read this sketch. Thee
couldn't q say it respectfully, and with
out the slightest attempt at disparage-
ment, not the slightest)-they couldn't ap-
preciate the situation; but boys can. Ev-
cry boy knows, or shortly will, lust how
II is himself. For mustaches are inevita-
bic, and will come either with or without
help-usuallY with. l therefore dedicate
this bit of experience, sad personal expe-
rlence, to the AdrcIY little and great
They'll read it, l feel confident, every
one; and that they may to some extent
profit by 1t is the earnest wish of one of
their number.
1t was in January, the first m month of
year not great many years ago. The
winter school was keeping. GEORGE Red
way was the master that winter. Harry
Smith, Tom Edwards and /, had the
long seat together. The long seat was
fhe one at the end of the room, at right
angles with the other seats. 1t partially
fronted the rest, and was long enough for
three of us-a favorite seat, and one
greatly sought after in the general scram-
bic, on Monday morning of the first
day remember that Tom and | went
down to the school-house little after
seven that morning, in order to make sure
OF 1t by getting our books under the bench
before the McIntire boys got there.
The back seat" was full of 'great
boys" of eighteen and twenty. They
nearly all had mustaches or attempts at
the same. And some of them even had
Whiskers. Of course their example
anu good success in this particular
was stimulating to lis smaller boys Still
we didn't take our fever (mustache fever)
from them. 1t came from a sudden ex-
posure in the form of young fellow from
Portland, named Fred Barry, who came
up the second week of our school on
visit at his grandfather's, who lived in the
neighborhood. By way of passing the
time nothing more guess he attended
school for several weeks. Anything like
the brown beauty, the trimness, and the
heroic effect of Fred's mustache can
scarcely be conceived of. The GREAT
boys were goats beside him. And as for
the great girls" it was amazing to see
how they kept wearing their best dresses
every day and how cold they grew toward
their old admirers.
Harry, Tom and I, from the long Seat
eyed him (the mustache part, and that
was the only part of him worth noticing)
eyed him admiringly. Day by day we
watched and sighed, nay, pined-I really /
think we plned-under the unaDproach- |
able glory of that manly mustache I'm /
approachable; for as yet our faces were as /
smooth as our dinner-bDXes. As | said |
at first, | don't expect any save boys to /
sympathize with us in this mood And l |
know the most of folks will but laugh /
when / state that for the first fortnight /
after Freds arrival, Tom and | actually /
lay awake nights to discuss it, and devise
means for putting our own upper lips in a
similar condition. As preliminary step,
we had already procured an old razor and
a cake of soap; and were proceeding
toward the object in view by scraping in
the usual way, when one forenoon at re-
cess Harry, whose fever ran higher even
than ours, showed us Il slip cut from a
late newspaper Ga religious paper, tool
which made everything easy in mo-
ment
That slip was this:
'MUsTACHEs ! MUsTACHEs ~
The Grecian Compound! VIII force a growth
Of hair on The smoothest face with a few applica-
lions. This is no humbug Price only S1.O0 per
Address with the money
PROFESSOR BoUFFEr,
" 81 Nassau ST., New York"
Was there ever such an opening! We
read it over and over, in school, holding
it behind our books.
"Do you suppose it really is sol" whis-
pered Tom.
" This is no Aan1ug," read Harry, point
Ing to the slip.
On the whole it looked too straight
forward and honest, and was too much to
our liking to be seriously doubted.
Let's send on and try it, anyway"
said Harry as we sat eating our dinners
n our seats and talking the matter over.
Shouldn't wonder if that was the way
ne raised his" with a nod up to where
Fred was shining and talking with the
girls. Lets send tomorrow. Itll be
hirty'three cents apiece. Can you do
/ Y"'
1t would nearly break us; but we could
10 it, barely.
Come over to our house tonight
aid Harry, 'and wen write the letter"
That evening, after repeated attempts,
We got OFF the following
"N---, MAINE, Jan. CO. 1885,
PROFESSOR BoUFFET, ESQ.
DEAR SIR Please send MS a package OF your
ireeian Compound as soon as you get this, which 3
Is the right kind,
Your obedient servants
HARRY SMITH and two others"
We put this in the post-offlce next '
morning, as we went to school, I
GLOW long do you expect it'l be be- !
ore 1t will get here ~ asked Tom.
80, well, il may be week" said I
larry. 81 don't mean TO think strange, il
hough, or worry, if it don't come for a i
ortnight May have Il good deal of bust \
ess on hand, you know" il
That seemed some times but as we |
ould do nothing further we set our $
elves to wait patiently Il
Tom and L were therefore very agree
bly, surprised, when, on the third night Ii
fter, Harry came running up to our u
Ouse, and, calling us out, exclaimed,
Its come" /
Such plOmptness looked well in the il
'rOftSSOr II
"Let's see IT," cried Tom. d