Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1872-09-12

Would NOT SPEAK.-Pat having been
empaneled in case, was, with the rest OF the
jury, cautioned by the judge as they were
about to adjourn for dinner, not to speak to
any person nor to allow any person to speak
to them concerning the case in progress. Pat
was impressed with this warning. On turn
ing the first corner he encountered Mike
H, who wanted to speak to him about
digging we'll. Pat gave him wild glance
and passed on. Mike followed him, and seiz
ing him by the arm, said
"Man alive what is the matter with you
Are you crazy?"
Pat freed himself from Mikes vice-like
grasp, and planting a terrible blow between
Mikes eyes, hurried home to his frugal meal
His troubled look alarmed his wife.
"In the name of all the saints, Patrick
dear, what's the matter with ye?"
He made no reply, but, shaking his head
looked more distressed than ever, and com
menced eating in hurried and most vora'
cious manner. She ran to neighbor to have
him come and see her husband. As they en-.
tered the back door, Pat shot out at the front
The neighbor followed. Pat started on the
run, reached the court room four lengths
ahead, and ensconced himself in the jury box,
greatly relieved. A moment after court was
reopened in came poor Mike, both peppers
closed, accompanied by constable Hoagland
with writ for Pat. Not daring to serve the
process there, the officer called the attention
of the sheriff to the matter. The sheriff, in
turn, notified the judge. The judge asked Pat
to explain. Pat rose with trepidation, and
said:
"May it PLACE yer honor, didn't you tell us
not to shpake to any one, nor allow any one
to shpake wild us ? and sure Mike was bound
to shpake to me, and the only way l could
get out of it was to give him mild whick be-
tween the eyes-for wasn't I bound to obey
the orders of the COURT"
Of course he was. The judge was sound,
and Pat was allowed to be "desartless man"
and permitted to 60 his way.
WHY DoN'T You REsPoND?-Old Judge
W., of -, in the Old Dominion, is char.
acter. He was lawyer, legislator, judge and
leading politician among the old time Wings
of blessed memory; but, alas like them, his
glory departed, and like many others of his
confreres, has gone "where the woodbine
twineth." Notwithstanding the loss of prop
erty and the free use of applejack, he main
tanned the dignity Of ex;judge, dressed neatly,
carried gold-headed cane, and when he had
taken more than his usual allowance of the
favorite beverage, he was very pious at such
times, always attending church, and sitting
near the stand as erectly as circumstances
would admit, and responding fervently. .
On one occasion Baptist brother was hold
ing forth with energy and JUNCTION on the evils
of the times, and in one of his flights ex-
claimed:
"Show me drunkard!"
The Judge arose to his feet, and unsteadily
balancing himself on his cane, said solemnly
"Here am, sir here am"
The elder, though good deal nonplussed
by the unexpected response, managed to 60
on with his discourse, and soon warming up to
his work, again called out:
"Show me hypocrite! Show me hypo'
crite! Show me hypocrlte"
Judge w. again rose, and reached forward
across a seat which interviewed, touched Dea.
con D. on the shoulder with his cane, and
said:
deacon D., why don't you respond, sir
Why don't you respond? did when they
called mel"