Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1872-04-18
Varieties.

it?
AN of-hand fellow-one that has lost
both his arms.
KANGAROO leather is recommended for
leap-year wear.
WHAT man carries everything before
him ?-The waiter.
HINT TO MoTHERs.-Trea your babe
kindly, but not cordially.
For ladies: A receipt for dressing the
hair-First buy your hair.
WHEN is a person not a person?-
When he's lame'un (layman.)
IT is said that after Lots wife was
turned to salt he got fresh one.
A DOCTOR calls his dog Cinchona, on
account of the bitterness of its bark.
CAN a watch be said to be perfectly
dry when it has a running spring in
| side?
IT is not strange if an ass once talked
like a man, while SO many men talk
Like asses.
EVERY woman is in the wrong until
she cries-and then she is in the right
Immediately.
PEOPLE in the suburbs can make hot
beds by going to sleep while smoking
Detroit Free Press.
A TOLEDO chap was quite smitten With
his neighbours wife. She did it with
rollingpin.
SOME one, speaking Of the red nose Of
an Incorporate man, said it was very
expensive painting"
SHAKESPEARE would never have asked,
What's in an aim?" if he had been
hit on the head with brick.
ais NOT Horace Greeley college-bred
man ?'' asks correspondent. "No,
! sir; he is a Graham-bread man.
81 HAD rather have newspapers with
out government" said Jefferson, " than
: government without newspapers"
] The minister who divides his dis
. courses into too many heads will find it
difficult to procure attentive ears for all
of them.
g THEY have so many dogs in Little
: Rock, Ark, that it is proposed to estab-
S lish extensive tanneries there to utilize
s the bark.
= care you the mate Of the ship?"
! asked an emigrant of the cook, who was
=, an Irishman. "No, sir" was thereby;
- " am the man who cooks the mate
% A TEACHER, catechising his scholars,
le put the question, What was made to
N give light to the world?" Matches Y
d cried one Of the youngers, after short
ia pause.
= = JUDGE HoAR once said Of lawyer:
- g He has reached the superlatiye life;
- at first he sought to get on, and then he
80 sought to get honor, and now ne Is try
W ing to get honest"
70 A POLITICAL aspirant, after an cleo
pioneering harangue, met his particular
ed friend with, well, my dear sir, did
it you hear nay last speech p " hope
it so, was the reply.
re- A YANKEE doctor has contriyed to
rs extract from sausages powerful tonic,
De- which he says contains the whole
ng strength of the original bark. He calls
it the Sulphate of Canine.
lse Corn in the ear is apt to affect the
ed hearing. IF eaten green it will make
lso the voice husky. When dealt out as
he army rations, colonies should always be
elf served first, and then the men privately
TnoMpsoN is not going to do anything
ler more in conundrums. He recently
70, asked his wife the difference between
ed his head and hogshead, and she sac
sg there was none. He says that is 40
Dry the right answer.
in SPEAKING of pages, a few years ago I
lid fat drunkard accosted Sol. Shap, then
me Senator, for some position, saying
me " Don't you remember me- used Il
mt be a page ?" Well" responded Sol.
roe ''you have grown into a volume"
i'm "WELL, Snifles," sold an employer t
to his new clerk, have you posted tn
ledger?" - Y eth, thir,' lisped Sniffies
DRY I've pothted the ledger; but, Tor,
ne. wath too big for the letter boxth, and
can had to take it inthide the potht offeth
ous The following affecting query was ad
T 7 dressed TO his sweetheart by poetica
ell. lover in Egypt
ife If you was dog. and was hog.
- And got into your masters yard,
Oh And your master was to sic you on me,
ent Would you bite me gerry hard!
will DR.. X. had feast, among othe
hat things, and very unprofessional, seem
it is made of enlarged and disease
livels, pate de toie gras A day or tw
after, when he wished to order SOM
With thing Tor lunch, the COOK n1lioiy su
son, gested: es, siT' there a-nl1S' ~ ~
di- whole or that paodys phoIogr&pn LIZ
mart you had the other day."
ned AN artless newspaper man, who late
the bought few sausages, thus relates b
lole troubles: [ got them sausages hon
5her without getting bit; and | cut the
lev apart and left them. In the morning
rves visited them. Three of 'em had Gu
ries. dled up together, and were sleepir
TOUT sweetly. Two of 'em had crawled
ent. my milk pail and were tapping Il
ONE milk, and one, a black and white on
lead was on the back fence trying to catt
alter an English sparrow. drowned Il
jug. whole lot.
the -
res; Sleeping Together.
was The Laos of Life says: More quarrt
that arise between brothers, between siste
q | I,irad rirlc hefwpau Sohr