The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1872-07-05
Old Probabilitiea.

er on the West Side, carriages from
that Side at convenience Of guests. y
And this to advertisements of con-
certs and the like:
Performances will conclude at 10
P. NJ, allowing amply time for au-
dience to reach home before the
storm"
No more anxious Watchings at
windows, in these days-no more
surprises seamperings, huddlings to-
gether as atpicnics, in the sweet old
shrieking fashion. Nobody who
reads the newspaper will ever get
caught in the rain.
Then, Of course, when Mr.. Leak
in succeeds in securing general rec
ognition for his Law Of Periodieity.
nothing will ever happen at ali.
The word accident will be marked
obsolete in the dietionery, as so
many other good words have been
already marked. Things will take
place, 1 suppose, in their regular Sc.
quence, as foreordained and fore
told. Life will be a Morphy-Paul-
sen game Of chess; except that we
shall keep on pushing the
men around in a nightmareish
sort Of way, after 'checkmate in sew
enteen moves has been announced.
It's all of piece-Weather prob
abilities; Leakin's Law; composition
back-logs; cast-iron tree stumpS;
spring-fastenings to keep children
from kicking of bed-clothes; canned
vegetables; steam yachts on the Sea
of Galilee; parlor skates; protopil-
asm.
Tomatoes in winter are as much
out of place as sunlight in a thester.
(Ifyou were at the Nilsson matinee
at Wallack's the other Saturday,
when the shutters Soould fly open.
every now and then, you know how
CHASTITY that is! Things must be in
keeping. Tomatoes must be fsnked
by radishes, and fresh peas, and let
tuce-with a scent of summer in the
air. And besides tomatoes must be
tomatoes, not q tantalfzing sem
blance-a mixture of carpet rags.
vinegar and bullets, just racy enough
Of the genuine dish to take of the
keen edge of ones delight when, in
due time, the first toothsome taste
of the vegetable comes to you with
the twitter of birds, and the touch of
the cool-warm air upon your brow.
Well, there is another side
to all this.
The beauty of it is that spring is
spring, no matter how it comes at
last or wherein the city, heralded
by small boys calling fans between
the acts of the opera; in the country
by birds and flowers and flavor Of
garlic in the butter Spring is spring,
and will have its way.
And as to parlor skates, when I
come to think of it!-The Profess
sor made me 60 with him to the
Rink one night last winter. He went
down, he said, every evening, after
Greek, for haR-hour's s'fun." And
the Professors pretty daughter, she
was going for the 'fun," tOo-seem-
ed to be really excited about it. One
might have thought to look at her
cheeks, it was to be a moonlight
frolic on frozen mill-pond. 1 didn't
want to go at all; it seemed to me
sacrlege, sliding around on rollers
over pine boards, and calling it skat-
ing! It's bad enough to skate with
real skates, under a corrugated rooi
and by gas-ight; but this moekery
No, Iprotested, 1 shall be true tC
runners and bonfres of my boy
hood!
But 1 went. Ididn't 90 so far q,
to put the rollers on; I merely stood
and looked.
Shade Of Winthrop! Instead O.
the ring and scrape Of steel upon tn:
ice, there was a hollow rumble as o
machinery; and over in one cornel
the champion cutting chalk eagle:
on the floor.
If they had gone about it sadl,
and solemnly, like mourners at !,
funeral, it would not have been hal
so bad. 1t was their cheerfalness
that was so pathetic. It seemed a:
if this great procession of youths
and middle-aged that sWayed and
swung past me where 1 stood, were
under the influence Of a horrible en-
chantmenL
In moment, 1 said to myself. th,
little man in black, leaning over tn,
balcony railing yonder, viii drop hi,
cale upon the floor below; the mu
sic will cease the lights will go down
and, suddenly awaking from theil
dream, the skaters will shrink intC
the street and back to their homes
in terror.
But even parlor skates do some
times get loose, and one must knee
to fasten them while the other gen
tly rests her hand on his shouIdel
for support. And here, too, Tho
girls have to be taught; and rollers
like runners, are treacherous, anG
will slip-if he does not hold q
tight-so tight!
o this great-hearted blessed hu
manity of ours, how it takes to it
self, at last every artificial custom
and contrivance brought within If,
domain-just as nature resumes
with ivy and ichen and rust, ever
piece of human handiwork PLANTED
in her deep woods.
shouldn't wonder /
there were times when Old Probs
bilities himself forgets his umbrella
And maybe he isn't very old afte
all. Maybe too somebody-far of.
the summer rain is dearer becaus
| Old Probabilities, in that formal sci
entifc way of his, said that it wa
coming.-FroR the Old Cabinet. 1,
Sc7I6Rer'S for .Tuly.