Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1872-08-20
"A DIVERSION"
A G.Ove Episode in the Lene Star
State-A MuIeback Ride and
What Came Of Ft
From the Naahineton C.pital.

|
AUSTIN, Texas. July 8, 1872. Die
you ever ride mule? I don't mean
civilized creature accustomed TO gooC
society such as you have about Wash
ingtOn i'll and out of office, but wild
steed of the plains brought up on grass
and rattlesnakes and accustomed tC
cavOrt regardless of the Constitution a,
amended or the rights Ofman. Mules
are pretty much alike the world over
only the Texan mule is little more
so. He has more ViciouSness to the
square inch that any creature the Lord
ever created. He can buck like a
horse, which means to go up four feet
and come down on one with the back
rounded to such an extent that moth
ing is visible on the horizon but the
tips of his ears, and you've had scarce
ly time to make an observation OF
these before the earth seems 10 have
bumped up and given you a free ad-
| mission to a universe of fireworks
| Then his voice equals what you tell US
| of the Newman chimes. | am sorry
| that Gilmore didn't have a Texan
mule among his other musical cele-
! brities to astonish them foreigners.
| l rode one the other day and Pm go
ing to tell you about it. 1t won't be
very well written, because my right
arm has been in sling and L have
more bruises than bones. You see l
fell in love with girl, deep as forty
| foot weli-I mean my love not the
| girl, she isn't deep a bit-and as my
| luck would have it another fellow fell
about the same distance at the
same time. He's not bad looking
| oh nd lfn al lnf
| days. He parts his hair in the mid
die and oils it up with bergamot and
cinnamon. He has his name printed
on pieces of pasteboard and drops
| them round promiscuously for fear that
people might forget that A. Browne
Swivel wasn't about. l had to acknowl-
edge the fact that betwee this fel-
low and myself in the affections Of
the divide Araminta it was nip and
tuck, with the dog little ahead.
put OH my best clothes one day
and walked over to his gals house, in
tending to move on her works, aud
have the thing settled without further
debate. My rival was there. and
seemed to have on his sitting clothes.
That didn't amount to much, for |
knew that at ten o'clock, six hours af-
ter my arrival, he'd have TO wend his
winding way home, for the old lady
didn't allow any irregular hours. If
he got to his frugal couch, or rather
the house containing it, he might skin
his knuckles and kick his boots of,
but he wouldn't getin after that hOuI,
and the hay-mOw is not a pleasant
bedroom in flea time. But was soon
relieved of all anxiety. We had Il
diversion that broke up the sit
ting.
Araminta is possessed of a little
brOtker-I hate girls brothers! If
they are little they play tricks on you.
and if they are big they borrow your
money, get drunk, and insult you with
impunity, knowing that you are i'll
love with their sister and won't resent
an indignity.
While we were talking in a small
way, and looking volumes of love at
the girl and wrath at each other. we
heard a fearful yell in the garden
patch, and running out found her lit
tie brother on the ground in active
commissions. He had been trying to
eat his way through the melon patch.
1t was a disgusting failure, for he
could not have bursted open and gone
into the contents of more than ten or
twelve. AS it was it looked as though
there was going TO be death in the
family, and Araminta screamed a
scream and yelled at us TO run for a
doctor. We both took in the situation
at glance-the man that got the doc
tor first would get Araminta for life.
My rival went over the fence like a
deer and seized the only horse in the
stable. He bridled and saddled the
animal in double quick time, while
i found nothing left me but mule.
| seized blind bride, and rushing at
the animal felt something whiz over
my head that am satisfied was a pair
ofheels. They narrowly missed my
skull, but carried away my hat. Moth
ing daunted, seized the creature by
the ear,sput on the bride, and unfas-
tening the chain by which he was
haltered led him from the stable. He
went out willingly, so much SO indeed
that had some difficulty in keeping
up, and had not the creature stopped
OH the outside to give vent to his feel
ings in prolonged bray, could not
have mounted. AS it was, before he
got through with his musical enter
tainment | was on his back.
The beast seemed somewhat aston
turning it over in his mind for min
ute, while l dug my heels vigorously
in his sdes. He seemed suddenly TO
come to the conclusion that change
of administration would be an excel
lent thing, and to this end began go
ing up and down like a saw gate. /
really thought I'd be split in two, and
would probably have been pitched
hs,F haf in hn dGf nj
pleasing exercise Muley caught sight
of the horse disappearing at a hard
gallop in the distance. He seemed an
imated by the laudable ambition of
overtaking the horse, and started so
suddenly he came very near leaving
me behind. l worked my way for
ward until I could get my hand hold
of the halter chain, and, pulling his
rigging taut, got a pretty secure hold.
How that beast did run! He not
only gained on the horse to such an
extent that Araminta might have Of
fered two to one and no takers, but
exhibited his superabundanee of bot
tom by throwing in, AT intervals, the
Iiveliest kicks that ever emanated
from "A mule. About mile out we
closed in on the cob, and as we passed
Muley favored him with q salute that
was most Internally foul, for, planting
his two heels upon the off quarter of
the honest old Bueephalus, / heard a
yell, and glanciug round saw my ri
val and horse 90 down in the most
promlscuous manner We had ride
of eight miles before US, and i feel sat
isfied that in that distance, at the rate
we were travelling, Muley would have
n good deal of the devil taken out of
him. L became aware of another fact,
and that was that my best pants were
giving way. / should like TO see any
thing short of woven network for a
suspension bridge stand the wear and
faar rfe er1oh rifa flaaf