The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1872-04-25
Mrs. Mark. Twain.s shoe.
l spicy Dialogue between Mark and hi
-lsas lsesi ~ 3 spouse 3ili ie adAsiI
lEntsr Mark Twain and Mrs Marx Twain I, y
.l.-..--.-. 2. y. LElLIEALl.-. ..--L .L.- -L-L

a spicy Diaiogue between Mark and his
Z -aEais aesi Spouse 3,li ie aaaal
!, [Entsr Mark Twain and Mrs Marx 1rwain.II I. !
Mrs. T.rMr. twain. j am surprised
and gTieFed to- x 49,. u s. - ~ (,
Mr.. It'd Dent intertppt me. WOMAN
III Tell you it's absurd-y0N learn to \
skate, You'll be wanting to play
Hairy insthe Black Crook next.fII tell
lyou fstating is am accomplishments
suited only to youth aud comeiiDess
Eof face and symmetry aof fgure!--ii
eNothing Is socharming to see nice
gii'l, in the eoquettish costume of the
lainks,s with checks rosy with excite
ment, skimming the ice0 like q bird
and swoopipg down upon a.. party. of
gentlemen, and pretending she can't
stop herself, and landing in the arms
of a very strong young man her fath-
er don't allow her to know--and DART
ing away again and falling on her
Ehead and exposing herself to rema arks
about her carelessness.
: (kFs. T.stries to speak, saying :-"1
-I-@lD ,giaei51i ssao4nA fsVU lq9W'
! AIr.;F. .AMadatn, hold yourltongueiE
And always taking care to fall when g
thatayoung man is close by to pick 4
her up. Oh, lit is charmingi 4Theyl
look pretty, and interesting, too, whenif
they, are just learning when they
stand still a long time in one, place.
tand then start one foot gingerly Shows
how and it, makes. a break for the !,
other side, of the pond, and leaves the
balance of the girl sprawling on this =
side But you You, look fat and
awkward and dismal enough at any -
time and when you are on skates you
waddle off as stuffy and bstupid and
ungainly, as a buzzard that's had half z
a horse for his dinner. sli9lut :. ;stes
(Mrss Taagain tries to speak,: ss0h, fa
eaW d7HBqS1OH I HsbA
, MrsT.-I WON'T have it, madam I'D
And you etunder alittle precarionsgq
headway, and then put your feet to-an
gether and drift along, STOPPING your
head and shoulders (shows how and On
holdin your arms out ike you. ex- II
pected = church was going to fall on Q
you; it aggfavates the life out of me j. d
Aud Tuesday, when was ass enough, :
10 get, on skates myself, aud kicked, :
the irish Gi2ht's eye out. the first dash !.
and lit or|1ny head and cracked the
ices that it booked like the sun with
all its Grays had dropped where a1%s
struck, and they fined me ninety dol4yo
lars for running the mans pond i was
terrified with the conviction that 4tt
had5gone through to the center of them
W9fldy because l saw the parallels OF ni
latitude sglimmering2 all aronud me-; "
and what was itbut youin your awk-
wardness, fetching up over me with ~
your confounded 'stilters" oni 1 can't
stand the pew rent, and wo1's.7saQ
8 Mrs. INT. Twain, i am eur-7,.sf }
I Mr.. T.-Holdl you clatter, ] fell q ;
you, you shan't bring edigm upon the Il
family by, your disgraceful attempts q
10 skate, sprawli9g around with youro Il
big feet, like COW lploughing her way I. Il
down hill in slippery weather, Shows
howl Maybe you would not be SO Il
handy about showing those feet of
yours. if you, knew what occurred 3
when ! took your Ishoe down to get II
Mrs. What was il 2 Tell me, what s
it was I'd Tell me what it was this
Inlp!ute sIjpst knowiit's one Of your, o.
J Nj. OH DON'T mind il ; It aintm.
of any, consequence; go to bed 1,lssdo
Mrs. T.--7But it is of consequences. 81
You have got to tell mes You Fhar,t -
aggrayate me in this way. 1 shan'tiEl
90 to bed until know what it was.
] Mr.. T;-Oh! it wasn't anythingb
Turning ayay.Gmgis ~ l9i itsasiidiug
Mrs, T,f7-Mr. Twain, l know betteril n
7 ouSre just doing this to drive me to ~
What did the shoemaker it'
ray about my shoe What did he do Ron
lpick (Bristling pP5 to him with Oh
hands.) az bait;g3nsa 9d yii1Hs
Mr.. T,-Well, if you must know, he ra
-he-hoWev its ofno consequence. 81
Mrs. tT.-Mr. Twain. (Shaking her GO
ist in his, faee.) e.t 49, sd .adgr .yas.l;l
, Mr.. .T.EWeI,, her-he took it. and giJ
,azed upon it a long time in silence, nI
nd then put his handkerchief to his
yes and burst into tears (Shows
Mrs. T. Il why, you born ofooli
Twain. are you going stark, staring -
raw, ,5ar etnIiteml TSt ou,t y 8ufIEI q
MIR. Tile just stood there andf
vept, as if his heart would break )
'oor devill There now, let's go to.
Mrs. r. Bed, you lunaticl lIn 10. 70.
lever close my eyes till know what
hat idiot was crying about-and you
Won't either, I can tell you that;
1ome. - - is' $500. ~, -
Mr.. T.AOh!i it don't matter. nl ss''.i9s .
Mrs. T.-Mr. Twain, if you say that
gain I'll make you sorry for it. What
vas that uumbskull crying about?" u
Mr. I3T.--W-e-l-l, he, he avoasib o.
, Mrs. T.-W-e-l-l, he. Out with itl ia
20 you want me to-to-Twain 2, I'll g.,
match them pet earlocks off till the
ide of your heads as bald as the top
f my hand. - ssW iB"thaia asa ~
Mr.. T--Well, he--poor fellow--he
airly dotted on his grardmother--r rE5
.,,1. IL ~ u
ou know, because his mother was ~
eeble, and so--well, he came to this al
ountry fifteen wears ago, and first set slI
p in the vegetable line, and got along iilJ
retty W ell, and was about to send 20 I
,ngland for the old lady, when hard 5o
ines came and he got broke. He ai
rent into fruit then, and after thatInH
lto milk-into all sorts of things, you II
now but he got disappointed every e1t
me, till this pfesent business fetched 3g =
ut all ight, and he sent right off for est
ne old woman. She landed here four ~!
Jeeks ago, but died. the same night.H
t was hard, very hard, after all. his 5lG
,aiting and toiling for fifteen years, slt
} get her over here at last and have lr
er die on his hands. He he-well, 1ui
e was disgusted. However, he laid q 30
er out, and he and his friends sat up 'ia
18th her, and by-and-by the memories
her virtues softened his bitterness
nd turned it to tender grief, set
ed melancholy that hung about his g 3
Dirits like pail for many days. -.',
Iowevepy by patiently striving to
eep sad thoughts out of his mind, he
as finally beginning to regain some
t his old time eheerfullness, when f
our shoe reminded him so painfully iSS
+ his poor sainted grandmother's
,ffin- ,, s,t si f..-r,,,fise .,
Mrs. T. = Take that you brute!
,me hack here I'fl1l,ick Won ont AGAIN qn
ou degraded old ruffian. Out of the ~.
ouse with you'll exit, leading
lark by the ear.l ......-., f