The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1872-09-12

play Mule, ana l knew lie COulunt
grind worth cent without grcasing it
with rosin. SO when the music man
asked ME ibid know, the key to all mu.
Sic" | was prepared for him, and said ;
"YGs, It's rosin"
A LITTLE run.
"WhGts discord," saysh he.
"Cord, cord says !; "lve got tits
Then he asked me, "could | run the
scales on apiano."
Says !, "Run what on u piano."
Says he, "Thc sCalGs-thC seven notes"
Says l,"I haven't run much on piano,
but guess I could do il, for one night |
run over seven miles TO fire"
Says he, $50 you know what Il sharp
uud 3 flat is?"
Says |, Gosh, | guess do. | sat on n
bee once. 1t was II honey bee, and
found him bee sharp, Tor he run his sting
into inc about four miles. rose pretty
lively, but didn't rise quite lively
enough for the bees health, for ever after
that he was bee lint.
Then he asked me "to try my voice ="
lie said my car wasn't good, but per.
haps my voice vas | struck up Mo.
ZArts Cock Robin" in trebble alto to key
A OF major minor. | guess the passcn.
gers thought it was Col. Minor, for
heard one old Indy eXClnim, There goes
another cattle train" and young female
SAID, Ma, guess We have run over an.
other cow" stopped. have lovely
voice.
OGDENSnUKG,
This is the town where the man lives
who owned a.hCn that sat two weeks ON
four Goldfish balls, and Matched out four
great gross OF bone tOOthpiCks and
school OF maCkerel. He ate so much fish
that he has TO wear n tin shirt to keep the
bones from tearing his clothes. He has
brother on his mothers side who has
drank so much root beer that he can't get
around town except he stumps it.
llucklCberries grow very large in this
section. They are sold three Tor u quar-
ter, and the skins are dried and used for
toy balloons.
Ogdensburg is a port Of entry, at the
mouth of the OswcgatChie, on the st.
Lawrence river. II Is IN St. Lawrence
county, New York. On the opposite side
Of the river, which is a mile and Il quar-.
ter wide, is the Ourshing town OF Pres.
colt, in Canada.
There isn't any Canada East or Canada
West any mOre-its all Ontario.
1t isN nice thing TO take Il sail on the
81. Lawrence, by the Thousand Islands,
into Lake Ontario, and across its hcaving
bosom 10 OSwcgO. Sometimes OntariO's
bosom heavcs 50 much that the passcn.
gers heave too, and the boat has 10 be
hove 10, too.
Ogdcnsburg is u nice place in summer,
and an ice place in winter. The winters
are so long that they never sing "Spring
time has come, gentle Annie" up here.
Ogdensburg grew the man that once went
TO New York and stopped alta hotel. lie
visited barber shop, and the barber
smelt the hay on his clothes and went for
him. He shaved and shampOOcd him;
then he moved his hair, and gave him 81
cents worth Two days after the Ogdens.
burger visited the shop again, and sat
down in the same chair. The same fellow
shaved him. Then he rubbed his hands
through his hair, and the following con-
versation ensued:
\ BARBER INTERVIEWED.
BarbCr-Who in the name OF Calnip ten
cut that hair?
Ogdensburgcr-Why, what's the mat
ter with 1t?
Bsrber-Mattcr with il, it looks as if it
had been sawed of in u saw mill.
Stranger-Wcll, sir, you cut that hair
two days ago, don't you remember it? |
asked you il that stuiI in that pot was but
ter, and you laughed and said /; was COS.
mctic.
Barber-Wcll, sure as shooting | did
cut that hair. I'd forgotten it, and come
TO examine it again, It's cut all right but
darn it, I've COmbed it wrong.
To-day asked one Of the wcalthicsl
and most influential citizens if he could
tell me the difference between five dol
lar bill and a glass OF larger beer. lie
couldn't do il; SO | told him there was
four dollars and ninety.tivG cents diiler-
Cnce. | asked his son what grizzly
bear was; and he said it was q bear that
WAS full of grzzc.
The flies in Ogdensburg arc quite large.
They wear 42.inCh undershirts
They make hash out Of such tough
meat that the people cat it with cork
screws instead of forks.
ANOTHER INTERVIEW.
This town is the birthplace Of two
illusFiOus citizens who once took trip
West. They were so glad to get ont Of
Ogdcnsburg that they drank too much
sap and got drunk. They were stopping
at hotel, and had room with a door
opening out on to piazza. In the night
one Of EN- got up for some water, when
the following dialogue took place:
.Iim-WhOse that?
GeOrge-lts me.
Jm-By jinks, hut its close in here,
George. Open the door and sec what
kind OF night ii is.
George opened the door md exclaimed.
"By Gosh, Jim, its the darkest snight
ever saw, not star to be seen, and every.
thing smells OF cheese" lie had opened
the pantry door.
1 used some Ann street talk today, but
it hasn't got going here yet sal0oncd
myself, and says !, Fetch me two sleeve
buttons"
Wailcr-TwO what?
Says ], 1.-TWO sleeve buttons. Don't You
know what sleeve buttons are? mean
Goldfish balls"
He brought them, and | thought I'd
Joke him little So, says I-Are these
fresh picked from the bushesg HO said
he guessed they were.
Says I-'Thero amt any dew on EN-. "
WHERE TIE LAUGH CAME IN.
Says hc-"Ycs there Is dew on en-"
and lie slapped down II rcd bone check
and yelled out there's twenty-five cents
due on en-.
/ let him alone and COmmunCd with my
own thoughts. | swallowed the second
Joint Of the starbOard Goldfish ball, md !