davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14
Just q Question or Two.

An exchange thus descants upon print
ing office bores, hitting the mark so fair
ly on the head, we cannot fail to appre-
ciate, endorse and copy. Here are a
few Of the innumerable questions which
printers are called upon to answer:
Do you print both sides of the paper
at once?
How long does it take to make news
paper?
Suppose you write everything you
print, don't you?
Why are those boxes of different sizes,
and how do you know where to find a
certain letter?
Can't you print picture of anything
you want to? Ishould think you could.
Why can't you?
after printing some horse bills for a
man not long ago, he found fault with
them because the 'cut' was not like his
horse. On another occasion, gentle
man came to us with the information
that he had left his horse in front of the
office, and he wanted a picture of it
taken and some bills printed
If you print one hundred bills for SO,
L suppose you will let me have four for
twelve cents?
I should think it would be fun to be
an oditor-you don't do anything but
sit down and read newspapers and sto-
ries all day?
Do you throw away your type after
you have printed upon it once?
You don't care if l take handful of
this type, do you?
1t can't be very hard to set type all
day-is it, now!
Can't I help you print something?
L wish you would print my name for
me; it wouldn't be much trouble to
print off just one name.
What is this for? what do you do
with that ? what makes that look so
funny? what are you going to do now
what for why? what makes you keep
so still? You don't care if fellow Just
talks, do you?
BY the time man goes through with
this list of questions, his company be-
comes so monotonous that he cannot fail
to perceive its effects upon the listeners,
and he walks off with the impression
that we have treated him unkindly and
impolitely.
All the above is to the point, and
when the questioner takes the hint
and leaves of his own accord, we feel
serene.
But then, when, as occurred with us
the other day, man comes in with a
32-page pamphlet, with the backs torn
off, and insists on us printing him copy
of that same, backs and title-page in
cludod, for ten cents, because that is all
the original copy cost him, we feel dis
posed to explain to him the quickest
method of getting down stairs, free OF
charge
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14
AY, PA, THURSDAY, MARCH IA, 1872.

"You are not he--you are not Julian
Richardson" he gasped.
az am very much afraid l am that
eccentric parsonage" he replied, laugh
ing. "I believe was christened Julian
Paul Richardson. When l received your
letter 1 conceived the idea of visiting
you, incog. Your second letter deter
mined me, and, 1 must confess, 1 am
thoroughly delighted at the success of
my experiment" he added, with a bright
smile upon Della, who clung to his arm,
pale with wonder and excitement.
"You see, Dean, desired to know if
you were worth helping-it's foolish
hobby of mine, always-and there was
no other practicable way. think we'll
not have to trouble Mr.. Will on again,
my good cousin For, as 1 told you
once before, 1 think we can manage to
live some way-Della and I-can we
not, my darling
And for answer Della hid her face on
his shoulder and cried, woman fashion
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14

Whatever do and whatever say,
Aunt Tabtha tells me that isn't the way;
when she was girl dorty summers ago)
Aunt Tabitha tells me they never did so.
Dear aunt If I only would take her advice
But like my own way, and find it nice
And besides forget half the things am told;
But they all will come back to me-when am old.
1fa youth passes by, it my happen no doubt,
He may chance to look in as 1 chance to look out;
She would never endure an impertinent stare
1t Is horrid she says, and mnstnt sit there.
walk in the moonlight has pleasure, own,
But 1t isn't quite safe to be walking alone
So take lads arrn-just for safety, you know
But Aunt Tabitha tells me they didn't do so.
How wicked we are, and how good they were then
They kept at arms length those detostable men;
What an era of virtue she lived in but stay
We're the men all such rogues in Aunt Tabthas day?
If the men were so wicked, I'll ask my papa
How he dared to propose to my darling mamma:
Was he like the rest OF them Goodness Who oknows
And what shall say, II wretch should propose?
am thinking If Aunt knew so little of sin,
What wonder Aunt Tabithas aunt must have been
And her grand-a -aunt--it scares mellow shockingly
That we girls ofto-day frightfully bad
martyr will save us, and nothing else can;
Let me perish--to rescue some wretched young man
Though when TO the altar a victim go,
Aunt Tabithall tell me she never did sol
Atlantic MONTHLY.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14

A witness in court who had been eau
toned to give precise answer to every
question, and not to talk about what he
might think the question meant, was in
terrogated as follows; "You drive
wagon 2" "No, sir, 1 do not" "Why.
sir, did you not tell my learned friezd SO
this moment 7" "No, sir. l did not"
"Now, sir, 1 put it to you ON your oath /:
Do you drive a wagenf" "No, SIR"
"What is your occupation, then ?" at
drive horse"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14

TRUE FRIENDsHIP.-It is one of the
severest tests of friendship to tell your
friend of his faults. If you are angry
with man, or hate him, it is not hard
to go to him and stab him with words !;
but so to love man that you can not
bear to see the stain of sin upon him,
and to speak painful truth through
loving words-that is friendship. But
few have such friends. Our enemies
usually teach US what we are at the
point of the sword. Faithful are the
wounds of friend, but the kisses of an
enemy are deceitful."
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1872-03-14
POETR Y.
AUNT TABITIIA.

by OLIVER WENDELL HoLNEa.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
sAs aatIs 8sIhs.
"A Waif's History.

-.
snaH poy was iateiy pickeu up
Dy the t'apuque ponies anu gave the
iolioWiHg nls.oIy
- eo n ls'. u-liy ssge, pu. wa,s
norn "a ~ sssDs.la. rly paslea's are DON
fssau : % per De,'
I'll y l'asss ~ 10y ns1s ss'i.
slassls', JUST Ma.e.s ~, coa lil Inv
% WV . ,ie'ae loou py
cals,as5 aos assSs
os.S = 800 = w y
psad1 " 'sliss sssiu s,'os, Whel'
-lsssa IS ss,as : .;y .'.'s.
s !. sy
- Z 20 :,
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s,l. ,'.sss "a
s,s,s4 Az ~, ~. . swo Ia
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g
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80. ,lis = 90 ,AnoM wlieI5 ne 70
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
Noah webster Revised.

The Titusville Herald says /: The
boys don't do things now like they did
when Noah Webster was making SPELL
ing-books. An old man near Pleasant
vile the other day found rude boy
posting Lydia Thompson leg bills all
over his dooryard fence, and desired
him to desist; but the young saucebox
told him plainly he would not, and
slapped up another naughty picture.
won't you ?'' said the old man CITIZEN
will fetch you down. So he pulled
out horse pistol and fred several
times at him; but this made the young
ster laugh, for the old man was cross
eyed, and could not hit a barn-door.
stWell, WELL" said the old man, elf
neither words nor horse-pistols will do,
l must try what virtue there is in nit
ro-glycerine % so that old man pulled
out two-quart can of torpedo mixture
and exploded it under the chap, who
eoolly whistled eff Ever 1 Cease to
Love" while the old man went soar
ing away into the sky like a kite.
Moral: Never try te9eeiaim the wick
ed with nitro-glycerine, unless you are
ready to go up yourself.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
A Texas Cow Boy.


Bob Brawiey was Texas COW boy.
he had % much idea of moral respon-
sibility and about as much knowledge
OF christian duty as the boy who
"wasn't brought up at all, but come
down the river on raft with dad.v
One day Bob was out on the prairie
hunting stock. All at once he saw a
band Of wild Commanche Indians COM
ing across the prairie in full tilt maxi
king for him. He instantly, as every
frontiersman does, under similar cir
cumstances, made for the bush. He
knew this was his only safety. After
running for some distance he looked
back, and beheld the Indians were
gaining on him. He expected every
minute to receive an arrow. Knowing
that his scalp was in danger, he con-
oluded that 1t was time to pray. Poor
Bob this was something he had never
learned. After thinking for a moment
he bethought him of his father's bles-
sing, and most devoutly did he pray
HIord make us thankful for what we
are about TO receive.n
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
Dealt, Of a Patriarcd.


Paul Lyons, the oldest man in Mobile
County, Alabama, died at his resi-
dence near Heron Bay, a few days ago.
He was born in Savannah, Georgia, on
the 10th day of july, 1860. He therefore
was nearly 112 years old at the time
of his death. He was in Savannah dur
ing the war of the Revolution, and was
lpreSent during the siege of that city, in
.1779, by the French and the American
forces, under Count d. Estaing and GEN
eral Lincoln. A few years afterward
he removed, with his father, to the
Gulf coast. He married in 1909, when
nearly fifty years old, yet had lived
with his wife, who survives him, for
more than sixty years. Mr.. Lyons
leaves number of children ,grandchil-
dren and great-grandcbildren, most of
whom are residents of the southern
part of Mobile County. During his
life the spot on which he died had been
ssuccessively under the flags of France,
Great Britin, Spain, the United States,
the Confederate States, and the United
States again.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
The Snow Prayer.

A little girl wentout to play one day
in the fresh new snow, and when she
came in she said: ssNIamma, I
couldn't help praying when 1 was out
at play" ttWhat did you pray for,
my deare'' stI learned once in Sunday
school, "Wash me, and I shall be
whittier than snow.'p What beauti-
full prayerl And here Is q sweet prom
Use to 60 with it: "Through your sins
beas scarlet, they shall be white as
snow" Aud what can wash them
Rkite---cleap from every stain of sin2
The Rfb3eanswers; 9They have wash
ed their robes, and made them white
Ia the blood OF the Lamb. ~ Morning
light.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
Gorned Beef.

In cooking corred beet, at this sea-
son of the year SO delicious, it should
be put into boiling water when put on
to cook, and when it is done it should
remain in the pot until cold. This is
the whole secret of having corned beef
juicy and full-havored, instead of the
contrary.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
VICKsBURG s mERIDIAN
RAILRoAb coMLpANY
LIE. R. b. ITEsWITT.

IEUiIIItIIN OF ilVUIsNIIIe, hV.l
This is the real or assumed, name of n
travelling impostor, whose ostensible busi-
but whose real business is swindlinS the
cfedulous and confiding. He came to this
place in February last and remained about
five months, practicing medicine q little.
but swindiin- much more. He left in debt
to his Landlord, his hotel-l1eeper, his printer
and to whomsoeYer was green enough 70 give
family, consisting of a wife, one child az. n
brother-iu-lsw who stammers terriblTs-
Hewitt is q dapper little fellow who I,ufs ~,
style; is about five feet eight inches HIGH.
has dark complexion, hair and whisksrs.
carries a cane, and wears a stove-pire hat
He has n mean visage, a stoop-shoulderetl
carriage and stealthy, cat-Iike stt7~s a
dozen good citizens of this place Join me in
warning the public against trusting this
fellow Hewitt In any way whatever
-. w. McCRANIF
Ed. and Pro. 'ruLEeaAPH
September =, 1871
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

A writer, who avows himself Pres
byterian, characterizes the Baptists as
hydraulic Presbyterians. He says the
two denominations are so alike in doc
trine as to be identical, up to the banks
of Jordan. They draw a line at the
waters edge.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

The Menash (Wis.) Press says
tFWhile on tour through this locality,
the other day, we saw something that
no other Wisconsin editor ever looked
upon. 1t was two young ladies with
shot-guns on their shoulders and
pouches by their side, striding off to
tho woods on a general hunt.n
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
n S. HUNT & co.,
VI NJ A C. HIN T.

NJ = = N i n ~ It ID II z o It,
1S5 Gravier ST., Now Orleans,
Manufacturers Agents for L. CARVER cos
CELEBRATED CoTroN GINS AND LINTERs.
BDAKE'S STEAM PUMPs, of all kinds
Boston Machine Conlpany's engines; Port
able and Stationary Boilers; the Baxter
Portable Engines; Schaffer q ButIenberp
steam Gauges; Coffin's Steam, Water and
Gas Valves, Hydrants and Water Metres;
SturteVants Pressure and Fan Blowers,
Exhaust and Dryer Fans; Berryman's
Automatic Boiler Feed Regulator and Low
Water Alarm; brakes EVarts' and Lows
Automatic and Hand Feed Shingle Ma
chimes; Clarks Linen Hose, Hose Pipes,
Couplings, etc; New York Tap and Die
Company's Screw Plates, Taps, Dies. Tsea-
fners, etc.s U. :. Standard Nut Company's
Finished and Unfinished Nuts and Bolts;
~. W: MiNter y Co.'S Saw Gummcrs, UpSets
and Mill Picks; Seldous Steam PacNinS;
Plymouth Mills Rivets; the E0glc Wise.
Plantation, Draining, Cotton. Iron. Wooll-
working and all lSiuds OF Machinery; Belt
ing, Shafting and Pulleys, on hand or will
De furnished At shot notice, ~ NauufsC-
turors' Prices.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

The New Albany Ledger says: "NIr.
Green G. Cannon, of this city, has a
child eight months old, which may be
termed an infantile giant. The child
weighs ,thirty-eight pounds, and yes
terday walked across the room with
spittoon in one hand land chiId's rock
ing-chair in the other"
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

1t is said that the Manassas battle
field has been sold for eight dollars an
acre. a few years ago Mcdowell and
Pope paid great deal more than that
for it, and didn't get possession of the
property either.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

a lady who refused to give, after
hearing a charity sermon, had her
pocket picked as she was leaving
church On making the discovery she
said: tsThe parson could not find the
way to my pocket, but the devil did"
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
Except.

A lawyer once asked a Dutchman
concerning a pig in court: ssWhat ear
mark had he?' tsVell, ven 1 first be-
came acquainted NIT de hook, he had
no ear-marl<s except very short tail -
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

Some economical person, named
Gray, has introduced bill into the
California Legislature which contains
i'm it a provision directing the city, at
it's own eNpense, to sshury the INDECENT
sick y
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

Henry Ward Beecher says he is in
|clined to leave the Baptists, Episcopa-
lians, Unitarians, Catholics, and Jews
to get to heaven in their own way, and
without guidance, and to spend the
year 1872 in promoting the fruits of the
Spirit, Glove, joy, peace, long-suffering
|gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness,
temperance" against which there is,
in none of these denominations, any
law,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

If we may believe the stories, the
medical recipes of the stBritish
HOUSEWIFE were not eiisregarded in
the Prince of Wales, Illness. The
shop pillow" is said to have been the
only thing that gave him sleep: and,
when death seemed imminent, a butch
er stood in an adjoining room with n
lamb, ready at a moments notice to
fay it, that the warm and reeking
skin might swathe the Princes ex-
tremities, should they have shown
signs of death-cc.dness.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
8arns, Hrber aro 8o,asssoIo

CONTRIBUTIONS on practical farming, gar
dsning and housekeeping, or any interest
ing facts, experiments or recipes, are solicit
ed from our friends throughout the country,
for publication in this department.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

ado write and fear not, is what the
GiFIs Say TO their correspondents
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
WINE AND BEER SALOON,
By b. BoEsE,

Grand Street, near DesTard.
Best of Liquors, Wines and ST. Louis LAGER
Beer Kept constantly on hand. Polite at
tention and good order guaranteed.
Monroe, Oct. Z, 1871. s-tf q,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

First Premium at tho st. Louis Fair, 1866
First Premium at the st. Louis Fair, 1867.
Gold Medal at the Louisiana State Fair, 1865.
First Premium at the st. Louis Fair, 1865.
First Premium at the Memphis Fair, 1869.
First Premium at the st. Louis Fair, 1869.
At all the above mentioned trials the Bril-
liant Stove tested it's metal in the open field
baking bread, with all the leading cooking
stoves manufactured on this Continent.
Every Brilliant is warranted to give entire
satisfaction your money refunded in full.
H. HALLER, Sole Agent,
No. 40 Camp ST., New Orleans.
Dealer in all kinds of Cooking and Heat
ing Stoves, Fire Crates, plain and Japanned
Tin Ware, Plated Ware, Table Cutlery, and
every description of House furnishing
Goods. s o1e Agent for the celeb rated Ringen
Washing Machine, and Wallace's Patent
Combination Crate. Jan'Y 1. 1872. n15:1y
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
P z ETFtssoN's MAGAZINE.
PETERsoN,s MAGAZINE

Gives more for the money, and OF a better
quality, than any other. 1t contains, every
year, nearly 1000 pages, IA steel plates. isT-
donble sized namTnoth colored steel fashiio }
hiaIes and 300 wood engravings-a ali
ONLY. TWO DOLLARS
year, or dollar less than Magazines ~ ;sss..
9 e. Every lady ought to take Peterson
b THE MAGAZINE FOR THE TIMES.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27

Fac Each number has a superb double size
someiy colored: These plates contain from
i r2ur 70 81. Slx Figures each, and excel any
me far!s, London, Philadelphia and Now
h0 r Iashlons described in fun, each month
me work Table Department of the Mac
'azirle is wholly unrivalled "
7 The original Household Rerei rts ne sirsa
ltersonp are quite famous. 49,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1872-01-27
sAlnl7- .c.,.s caens


- VI
-. 2 = =. I. e ARnsoy. JACK p RIc4aIsnso3
AA'Is H. RICHTARDgf,N e 20
fy,z,,.,eses--sa
'a'tPAtsSl0N MERCHANTS
A M xxr,s.,.
me y noiesale Dealers in FIour fsrs;,
Ana,,.a
No 100 com@er rcegn a n.sa
Orders for ar p I,ori,s q "a,
Iicited All favors 0acoR and begging So
eare1ul ttention Special care IVA, nate
ils.ssnss. 81 - K 50 - = "
z z. "a. a. NJ. Young fIafe of NeSx, r,,,a.x,
i.epresentaf in Louisiana. ' - - ies iisp
80 go tssss sse ~ 9sim
EIOn 9. SMITH. : u -----z-
J. w. DHAUoHor7. ~
GMiTII, CHEATArT g s.Sp
~ Successors to EIori q s,,,;;t,
PORK EYoko,.e 1,a..l..... 'A--tsi1 !" 20
- r., p, z(1'ycsS2oss ftfsas Commits
s5o7s Merchants,
storaerThird and Spruce streets 81 3r,
IS Septembars % 1871 2 g, =, s'sssLouis.
Z 80 z :, -. =. n51:1y
every Variety 81 af.a 49,. Ma anu, Of
aSs 5 Enlsslr and WITH specai
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-06-11
DOMESTIC MARKETS,

GALVESTON juno 10, 1872.
Cotton nominal; good ordinary, 2o14c. exports coast
Nxw ORLEANS, June 10, 1871
Cotton duh and nominal; middngs. 25,4c.; net re-
Cotton nominal; mddlings, 2sc net receipts CD bales;
sales, 100; stock, $780,
Cotton quiet, but nrm middngs 2I9c a 24Xc :; net
receipts "a bales; exports coaswisc i66s; stock obSs
CHARLESTON, June IL, l872
7so bales; exports coastwisc, i,273; stock, s,4G7.
Flour steady and unchanged; sales bbls at ss 80
winter and SO 50 Tor double extra Wheat duh; sales
b0n bushels choice white Canada at 81 % and IOC0 do
sa.e q oS Corn s"s @ a. Goo
IS So psron shwins SOC @ tsH@sih,ess
ha ssa oqs seR Ra aHrs - z the
Boston CO.. TO New York sc 70 Albany sc Receipts by
ments by canai-so0 bushels wheat Ios5,OUO feet or
lumber
Flour quiet and unchanged; sales Of spring extra az
81 bos x5 3D. Wheat declined 20 a Sc No sprins
Is cs.a or seller June 81 seller July No spring,
xqsas;; sssssd steady 80 ice s' cash sf'' 8!
ae a isa quoted W H"1 asyoc Ss' sIS ID
sssoa :s'dy rGIs g ' s.: de-
81 So seller June. Lard nrm.. at sYe., cash
Summer eurss sold AZ @ us nes g o pSsss
dcrs clear rS SIDES. Ike .cq ae clear SIDES siSes
os 1--we hogs in sced eaana a a. IS 40
freghts quiet; shippers demand reduction which yes
eel bis Su sa s5 I'D Wheat a'ssa de-
corn 1900 do oats Loo do. rye, suo do. barley, LOB
Ss S sSsa n AZ so4n 800 90 SS o. seql t 49,
rye, l4,ooo do barley, 400 cattle, 6oO hogs.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1872-06-11
MARINE COURT.
An Encounter In q BARRIERS Shop, and
What Came OF II.

An Encounter In q BARRIERS Shop, and
What Came OF II.
Before Judge Joachimsen.
Riddle vs. Larktn.-The plaintiff counsellor at
law states that he entered his favorite barber shop
on the Bowery, at q time when the defendant and
another person were engaged in some loud discus
sion, and being somewhat hurried, he called out to
one of the mon ''Hurry up John: hurrah here -
whereupon the defendant jumped up with the towel
round his neck, saying, III you're In such hurry,
take my chair" and as he was about to accept the
invitation, struck him behind the ear, causing
much merrlmcnt at his expense: $500 damages
were claimed. The defendant then took the stand
and was proceeding to state to the jury that he
was discussing the failure OF the Stuyves-
ant Bank, In which institution he was
interested to the amount Of $780, when the
plaintiH entered, calling out 'COme John, hurry
John, get along john" and In attempting to offer
him hts seat may have struck against him. but In
tending him no harm. At this stage defendant was
interrupted by the plaintiff, who offered to with
draw the suit If the defendant would make him an
apology, An apology was thereupon rendered, and
the case discontinued, without costs to either
party to the evident satisfaction Of C0ul, counsel
parties and jury
Lee vs. administration for work. labor and
services Judgment for plaintiff for 1921 % costs
and 1926 allowance.
Newman vs. Unlandheim.-Action for surgical
services. Judgment for plainti1, for $780, costs and
allowance.