The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1872-08-30

carry IL iooseiy III your pocAet.
Eagles fly alone; sheep generally
flock ,ogether-so We have herd.
Cure for a blind man-get married,
that will be sure TO open his eyes.
Why are all shopkeepers hosiers?
Because they have stock-in' trade.
Good intentions are like fainting
ladies-all they want is carrying out.
An old sort of Courtship,
which has two mates, but no captain
No one wishes to have bald head,
bnt no one wishes to lose it when he
has it.
About the commonest social vice,
and the one which is most abhorred,
is advice.
The lobster is posthumous
work of creation, for it is only red
after its DEATH"
Does widower recover from the
grief for the loss of the dear departed
when he rewives?
No wonder stolen kisses get buzzed
about; they always travel from
mouth to mouth.
Plltonic love, like all other tonics,
Is very exciting, and should be taken
b h,meopathically.,
Why is a brutal husband like
dissatisfied cabman? Because he
frequently abuses his fair.
i was wittily said of beautiful
French literary lady, that she has
but one fault-her husband.
To milliners-What is most likely
to become a fair-haired woman?
Why. a fair-haired little girl, to be
sure!
What did that young lady mean
when she said to her lover: "You
may be too late for the cars, but you
can take buss.
''Are you a good little boy?" said
the teacher 10 young hopeful.
eyes, man." "How good, Willie?"
t'Dood for nossin.',
It doesn't matter how watchful and
vigilant girl is; if rude fellow
kisses her, it is ten to one he will do
it right under her nose.
Thomas you should have place
for everything" said Aunt Mary.
81 have ma ana great many places
for everything, replied Tom.
A clergyman said the other day
that modern young ladies were not
the daughters of Shem and, Ham, but
tie daughters Hem and Shaml
A clergyman said that he ad-
dressed his congregation of ladies
and gentleman as brethren because
= the brethren" embraced the ladies.
Rector's daughter Ito Sunday schol-
ar)--0h. You have an elder brother;
well, how old is he:" Schoul-boy-i
Dunno, miss. but he just started O.
swearin.'
A writer says: 'It is not the
drinking, but getting sober. that is
so terrible in a drunkard's life"
Why get sober at all, then, says
Smiggles.
Judge Hoar once said of lawyer:
tfHe has reached the superlatiye
life; at first he sought to get on, and
then he sought to get honor, and now
he is trying to get honest. -
'sSix feet In his boots?" exclaimed
Mrs Beeswax; "what will the inn
puoence' of this world come to,
wouderl Why, they might rs well
tell me that the man had six heads
in his hat
What is the fashion. Annie? FASH
ion is something that causes Betsy.
who goes bareheaded all week when
the sun is shining, to wear gloves
dan carry parasol on Sunday when
it is cloudy.
"Where are you going 50 fast, Mr..
Smith, demanded Mr.. Jones.
Home, sir, home; don't detain me.
/ have just bought my wife new
bonnet. and must deliver it before
the fashions change"
The Countess of Blanchery, who
in one of the battles OF the Franco
German war fought with musket in
her hand as private soldier, has
Just had the Cross of the Legion of
Honor conferred upon her.
s.No, sir" said woman, pleading
for her husband, who was before the
police judge for beating her with a
poker, che wasn't always that way.
There was happy time when he
only struck me with his fist. !"
A bucolic editor is forced to. the
conclusion that the young ladies of
his village are not alarmingly like
st. Paul, inasmuch as they pay
rather more attention "to things
which are behind" than he did.
A GreeEfeld Mass. girl returning
home recently from lecture on elec-.
tricity, got caught in thunder
storm, and promptly pulled off her
hoop-skirt, not caring to risk herself
inside that kind of lightning con-
ductor.
An old lady gave this as her idea
of q great man: Zone who is keer-
ful of his clothes, don't drink
sperets, ken read the Bible without
spelling the words, and eat a cold
dinner on wash day without grum-
bling. .
The custom of prospective BRIDE
grooms presenting the bridesmaids
with small monogram lockets, which
are worn at the wedding ceremony,
has been adopted in New York, in
c)nDect;on With other English nup-
tial fashions and styles.