Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1872-08-16
HALF AN HOUR IN A CIRCUS.
Rich Specimens of Conversation.

From the Cleveland Leader.
"What, you wouldn't charge any
thing for lettin' a mere child like
that 60 in, would you?" "No, mad
anne, we ould not charge a cent;
our book:keeper is sick, but you will
have to pay me half price before he
can enter" "Why, he amt but
temp" "Can't help that, madame,
them feet of his is what takes up
room. | ought to ask q dollar and
"a half, but twenty-five cents will do. y
"Well, there's your money, but it's
swindle-come along darling"
"What on hevin and airth ails
you, John Simmit, that you drag
that child right by everything and
don't give him chance to see any
thing. Slack up little, I've paid
for these tickets, and am going to
see what's gong on, and if it don't
suit you, you can poke ahead"
''There, Isabel, look there; don't
you see his jaw drop, and chest go
up and down? That is the Dying
Zouave, just as he looked when he
was dying. 0, my, can't look at
him, John; keep hold of my hand.
Is he alive? No; he's embalmed,
and they run the body by steam, SO
the show feller told me. That
woman there is his sweetheart, wait
ing for his eyes to get dim so he
can't see her go for his watch and
pocket-book to remember him by"
"Get off my corns, you tarnal,
great lubber you; can't you get
around without running over people?
If l had you outside, I'd put such y
head on you, you would have to git
into your shirt feet first fora month.
Got to stop somewhere? Well,
what of it? You had better keep
off from my mud hooks, confound
your picture"
"Thcre, my children, you see an
allegorical representation of what
drinking leads to. There is the
"Drunkard and his family" Oh!
most horrible of all! Here Maria
hold the twins mp so they can have
a good view, while l boost Johnnie.
What ails that woman's eye, pa?
and her legs is cut off. That is the
effect of whisky, my child. The
drunkard has pasted her one on
the eye, and the stutfing has run out
Of her legs from riding on the cars.
But see that big bottle sticking out
ofthc old mans vest pocket; what
is in that? Old Rye, my boy, and
that red color you see on the drunk
ards nose and face is the bloom
that's OH the rye. All drinking
men carry pint bottles of liquor in
their vest pockets. But you must
take warning, my son, and. never
carry the accurscd stuff thus; hide
it in more secret place in your
boot"
"There! there it is-the family of
the temperate man in that cage.
Look, children! see the difference
between this scene and the one you
haye just left. Here the man that
don't drink is seen setting in his
house, surrounded by his wife and
children, who wear their Sunday
clothes all the week. See the
bullfinches and parrots sitting
around on the trees. Everything
betokens comfort and health. If
you don't drink. Johnny, you will
have wife, two children and a
parrot and side whiskers when you
are man."
"Come, ladies and gentlemen,
move on; don't stand there staring
at one thing an hour at a time.
Here, you big lrmmix, git out of
the way give that women with a
bile on her elbow a chance to see.
Pass right on into the next tcnt.''
ooh, father! come and see this
cage Of monkeys, Let 60 my coat
tail, you young rascal; don't tear
me to pieces; you've seen them little
nasty monkeys hundred times
before. Mister, why don't you give
your monkeys fine-tooth combs?
They wouldn't have to work half so
hard if you would"
.l"Here, ladies and gentlemen, you
have the greatest curiosities eyer
seen; a couple Of sea lions caught
by Mr.. Barnum while bobbing for
Alaska cells. ! They require two
hogsheads of fresh water daily, and
clothes basket full of spcckled
trout every two hours, though they
will eat, on a pinch, suckers and
bullheads. Stand away from the
ropes, young man, and give. the
;pickpockets a chance to work.
care these really sea lions, Jack,