The Portland daily press., 1872-09-12
THE PR ESS.
THURSDAY MORNING, SEPT. 12, 1872.
Gossip and Gleanings.

Gossip and Gleanings.
John Henry says that .he hopes he shall
next month. He has anticipated his salary
for the next quarter, and is fifty dollars in
debt, while his only assets are twenty pairs of
soiled gloves, eighteen muslin necktes, and
bunch of livery stable bills.
The cable again insists upon engaging Miss
Nellie Grant to some foreign parsonage The
poor girl has several affairs of this kind on
hand now, and will probably have to execute
flank movements to escape them.
A wife of Detroit, seeing a paragraph in
the papers to the effect that matrimonial
couples in Illinois get divorced just in order
to have the pleasure of fresh courting and
new honeymoon" induced her husband, af-
ter much persuasion, to consent to divorce
Just for the fun of the thing" When the
divorce was obtained, the ex-husband was as
tonished to find that the ''courting" and
"honey-mooning' of his wife were 10 be done
with another fellow. He doesn't think di-
vorcing for fun very funny, after all. His
wife sees where the laugh comes in, but he
never did have an appreciation of humor.
Ii you find yourself legatee under will
lose no time in procuring such evidence as
you can get at, scientific or otherwise, that
you did not poison the testator, because dur
ing the three years. confinement which NAV
follow you cannot do this so conveniently.
1t is a fizzle and not revolution, Vermont
and Maine have declared it,
The poems of Longfellow, Walt Whitman
and Bret Harte are undergoing translation in
to Hungarian. So
She was colored and died in Western Vir-
ginia this time, name Judy Williams, age one
hundred and fifteeu years. She never saw
Gen. Washington.
A wife wrote to her husband, absent in
California, that the longer he stayed away the
better she liked him. Rather equivocal that.
According to Humboldt in the thirteenth
century the habit of eating human flesh per-
vaded all classes of society. Good old times,
those.
We recommend the following letter as a
pattern of conciseness and philo.ophic pres
ence of mind. 1t was addressed to lady
friend. by young Chicago widow: DEAR
ANNIE:-Husband is dead, died yesterday of
diptheria, there is a balm in Gilead, loss Sc
we're, partially covered by insurance, say ten
row, send your sympathies by retur mail, in
haste.
Those Western people are nothing if not
ingenious and original. One of them lately
assumed a'comfortabe position, took in his
mouth piece of rubber tubing, the other
end of which connected with the gas-fxture,
and sunk to his nights repose as calmly as a
flower at set of sun.
A grave-digger walking in the streets of
Windsor, the other day, CHANGED to t urn and
stopped till they passed, and then followed
on behind them. "And why this ?" said
they, 81 know my place in this procession" !"
said he
They are saying all sorts of cruel things
about the intelligent mosquito, but no one
has as yet accused him of being fool enough
to fill kerosene lamp when it was lighted.
1t is singular fact which we have never
seen commented upon before, but an ex-
change says men stammer, woman never do.
Somebody says shrewdly that advertising is
the oil which wise tradesmen put in their
lamps, and which foolish ones neglect to use
Gen. Mcclellan goes for Greeley now.
Greeley "went for'' him during the war with
an enthusiasm quite as well founded as the
| generals latter-day affection.
The ''bottle of acred oil" recently found
amid the ruins of Pompeii turns out to have
been nothing but bottle of whiskey inadver-
tently left behind by picnic party.
| This is the way in which the Providence
papers announce that letter in the New
Bedford post-office, waiting for a stamp:
There's painful sense of something lacking
on the northeast corner of letter addressed
to B. A. Whitney & Co., of Providence,
which lies at New Bedford awaiting repairs
A young man in Iowa lately went to bed
with straight vision. and on waking up
found himself cross-eyed. Spinks says his
wife frequently wakes up and finds herself
cross all over, and he does not think that
young man is very badly off.-Oliver Twist
stone-mason at Rochester, ha. played the
Dickens, with his anatomy by tumbling from
scaffold.
Life, according to the Arabic proverb, il
composed of two parts, that which is past, :
dream; and that which is to come, wish.
An exchange has found out when Adam
was married; of course it was on his wed
ding Eve; most everybody knew it before.
Brilliant ideas are like shirt buttons, they
are always off when we are in a hurry.