The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1872-06-06

4 0SsS
The first thing We take ID our life 70
milk-the last thing is our bier.
A Wisconsip mother has acfaa.ly
named herr poor little innocent foaOy
Horace Greeley.
An inexperisneed: farmsr tried to make
corn beef by giving his own oxe" WINS
key.rrs.fets aHc an ~ :
HOPE is like a bad clock, ever striking
thehour of happiness, whether 1t has
come or not.
A. eov-in- Dover, Tenn; excites the
envy Of he eompanionsin fy time. She
has two tails.
zone half the year, rain and flowers,
the other half dust and sky. Is BRET
Harte,s description. Of California.
VANITY long INDUCED, 6eclmes 80 cx-
ACTING At last. that it claims all you San
DO, and is never thankful for any ser
vice.
"Can YOU change two dollar bill Z"
said an impecuneous drinker to the bar
tender. Eyes" "Well, when get a
two dollar bill III bring it in"
A citizen of Syracuse, ILL.,, chased a
stripped cat out Of his house the 9th
er dav. He burned his clothes immedl'
ately after. and his wife went away on a
visiting tour the next day. g,.
A lady who received visit one day
from the minister, was SO proud OF her
eldest born that she thus introduced HIM
"This is my son John, sir-six years
old-John, blo,c your nose!"
The FIRsr OArH.-"I will kiss you
Eve" said, the paternal ancestor OF u:
all TO his caraposa. al don't care Adam
if YOU do" she replied. We presume
this first kiss was occasion OF the mrs
oath. nrt
In Massachusetts town, recently, :
new Good Templars' Lodge was ifistltut
ed, and man waited upon the chiel
thereof with a goat he was DESTROYS OF
selling, for the purpose OF assisting a
tho initiation.
All he could do, Lafayette man
couldn't light the lamp, though nc USED
every tooth in his wife's hair comb ioi
matches. But there was an explosion
the next morning that the Kerosene
wasn't responsible for.
"Mother," said lite Ned, one morning
after having fallen out OF bed, al THINK
know why fell out of bed last night
Il was because slept too near where
got in" Musing little while, as II nc
doubt whether he had given the righ'
explanation, he added, "No, that WASH
the reason. 1t was because slept where
1 fell down"
Seooks was assured by his genial faith
er-in-law his wife was worth her weight
in eold. At the e. d OF the first week o.
the honeymoon he enticed her on thu
hay-scale, figured it out that she would
bring s2g, ?SO, so, and sent word to the
old man that he would discount the hrs
five figures of the price if they missed
her at home" badly.
If God should put suddenly into mon
ey, Or its representatives, the power te
return to its rightful owner, there is no
a bank or a safety deposit that wouit
not have its sides blown out and parch
ments would rip, and gold would shoot
and mortgages would rend, and beggar'
would get horses, and stock gambler,
would 20 to the almshouse.-[Rer. 4. u
Idllmage.
The genius who recently discovered
that the northwestern boundary line
WISCONSIN reveals fair profile of Georg'
Washington, has been outdone by cor
respondent of the New York Sun, Wit
predicts the election of Horace Greeley
on the ground that the other day pass
inc cloud assumed the likeness OF tn
philosopher, the face moment after
ward changing to that of Franklin. W.
should cali this decidedly cloudy pros
pect.
General sherman is probably the mos
distinguished soldier who has visited
the pyramids since the first Napoleon
Unlike Napoleon, however, he does no
20 into ecstatics over them, or tall
about the forty centuries of time looking
+ down their SUBMITS. He thinks the.
are big things for tombs "but he neve
cared much about tombs, does not wan
to get into other peoples, and intends t
keep out Of his own rs long as he can
Among the funny things AT the lat
Cincinnati Convention was the repre-
sentation of Delaware by George Alire
Townsend, newspaper Bohemian an
Washington correspondent Of the Chica
20 Tribune. From his place at the re
porters' table he would gravely, at roll
call, answer for the whipping-rost State
"Delaware, six votes for, chang
ing his candidate at nearly every ballot
AT one roll-call Mr.. Townsend was ut
sent, when brother reporter answers
for him delaware has gone out +
take drink" Washington Chronicle
A young but prudent mother, on tn
occasion Of making her little boy hi
first pair of colored trowsers, conceive
: the idea that it would be more ecOnOm
cal to make them of the same dimension
behind Is before, so they might b
changed about and wear evcnly-and S
she fashioned them. Their effect whe
! donned by the little victim was ludicrou
! in the extreme. Papa, at first sight q
the baggy garment $50 fearfuliy an
hurst into a roar q