The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1872-08-02
PLAIN DEALER,

Il. IL. II. why only thlS ana nothlng
he is a Lover Of Large
Drinks.
A correspondent says that Bancroft
Davis would be taken for '.Britisher'
from his physique and dress Yes, and
from the way he attends to American
interests also.
The city of Griffin, down in Georgia,
boasts of hen which crows better than
a rooster. Let her be substituted at
once in place Of Fred Doug lass on the
Woodruff ticket.
The administration organs are at
great pains to disseminate the remark
able and potential utterances Of Horace
Greeley during the past thirty years.
Where are the speeches Of Grant?
President Grant didn't visit Wash
ington Monday, as was expected. 1t
is of no consequence. He will be mott
fed in November that he need not
visit it again, at all.
Ex-Gov. Unwise, Of Virginia, thinks
it would kill him to take either Grant
or Greeley. If the old blow-gun wonld
swallow both of them, and make the
funeral certain, he would be doing his
long suffering country service.
Grant has promised to call on Forney
and assure him that if Hartranft is de-
fcated in October, it will be equivalent
to his own defeat month later. just
as though Forney didn't know it, and
wasn't working for it.
Just as soon as Grant had his money
fairly planked on Bassett, Longfcilow
waltzed in and distanced him. Another
evidence of the force Of the general
determination.
Ex-Collector Tom Murphy, of New
York, anxious to show his faith in his
master, Grant, offered to bet $4,000
that Grant would beat Greeley. Geo.
Wilkes, Of the Spirit Of the Times,
promptly accepted the bet.
There are sometimes strange incon-
sistencies among politicians. Forney
wa ges war on Ilartranft and the cor
rupt Cameron ring in Pennsylvania.
Yet Foruey supports Grant the great
ring master and Grant supports Gamer
ON.
Horace Greeley is one Of the best in
formed men on all the questions of the
day in the United States. He has the
stuff in him to make good President
an intelligent President-.one whose mind
will be able to grasp at once any quest
ion that may arise during his admins
tration.
Hiram Green says: al the differ,
ence l can see between the late Arte-
mus Ward and L. S. Grant is that
Artemus was wiliiu' to sacr:ice Ill his
own and his wite's relashuns to save
the country, while U. S. G., is willin'
to sacrifice the country to save all his
own and his wife's relashuns.
"Deliver Us from our friends" ex-
claims Forney, of the Philadelphia
Press. We have 10 doubt that his
friends would gladly pay all tie expense
OF the deliverance.
1t is we'll that Mr.. Greeley has
learned to handle an Ak 50 skillfully.
There will be something over sixty
thousand heads for him to cut off i'm
mediately after the 4.h Of March next.
Iuasnuch as Csligula appointed his
horse to a consulship, it should not be
considered strange that Grant should
now and then have given = jackass a
place in his Cabinet.
Josh Billings says: 1--WE read that
Esaw sold out his birth rite for soup,
and menny wonder at biz extravaganza,
but Esaw discovered arly, what menny
a man has discovered since, that it il
hard work tew live on pedigree.
An Iowa woman has realized fifty
thousand dollars from the insurance On
the lives of two husbands, and they
weren't very good husbands either.
Mr.. Beecher says Gen. Grant is
"honest-minded.' Which may be true,
but if it is, he has capacity for being
imposed upon that is absolutely sublime.
1t is very surprising to the Radical
press that Horatio Seymour should con-
sent to support Mr.. Greeley, consider
ing how bitterly Mr. Greeley opposed
him when he occupied a similar posit-
ion. Is that any reason why Mr. Scy-
mour should give aid and comfort to
Grant. who not only opposed, but beat