The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1872-06-14
Varieties.

man in the moon2 Because he bas
beer to sea. "' mas
The best way to use the mad. stona :.
a. TO fend OIL hydrophobia is to throw !,
with great violence at the dog before hs
bites you. ne
mister. whore are you going with
that horse Z" asked gentleman of
suspicious looking man whom he ma,
on horseback. "Well, l hain't po;n u,
anywhere with him." said the othsrs
"but he is going somewhere with me-
Pray bestow your charity. your,
gentleman, on poor blind man. sa;S
beggar to a person passing by. "If
you are blind, my good fellow. how did
you know that ! was young?" "Oh.
sir, l made q mistake" said the begpar.
"pray, give trife to poor dumb
man I"
A MAN sold farm few days since as
perfectly level" The buyer went n
look at it, and found mountain on Il
But" said the man, "the land will be
perfectly level-after you take the hill
away; ! sell you the level land under.
meath and throw in the mountain"
A KENTUCKY entcmologist has kent
two vigorous mosquitoes under an in.
verified tumbler for six months without
food, and they remain in healthy con.
dition. This clearly proves that their
annoyance Of mankind is entirely un.
called for, and not at all necessary for
their subsistence.
In recent debate, a member of the
California Legislature exclaimed "The
honorable gentleman from Calayeras
county is undoubtedly person of great
abilities-a man of talent-a natural.
born genius; but there is one thing |
defy him to do, and that is, to bite the
bottom out of a frying.pan without
shutting his nose."
THIS is Rochester receipt for making
soup: Take pail OF water and wash
it clean. Then boil it till it is brown on
both sides. Pour in one bean. When
the bean begins to worry, prepare to
simmer. If soup won't simmer its too
rich. Pour in more water. Dry the
water with towel before you put it in.
The dryer the water the sooner it
browns. Simmer the soup until the
bean bursts laughing. Then add some
water and serve hot at twenty five cents
a bowl.
A TEXAN tells this story of lost oppor.
tunities: "Now, you see," said he,
:" land was cheap enough at one time in
Texas. have seen the day when
could have bought square league Of
land, covered with fine grass and tim.
Der, for pair of boots" "And why
didn't you buy it 2" asked his compan
ion. Didn't have the boots" said the
Texan.
AN intelligent graduate of Aassa.
chusetts school told the examiner that
Esop was the author of Latin fables
covered with hair, and sold his birth.
right for mess of potash"
A MAN equipped with saw, an axe,
and bucket, leaped from moving
train at Oldtown, Me-, and the excited
imagination of the Bangor Wing re-
porter depicted him as "revolving
through the air with the aforesaid i'm.
plements sailing around him like the
moons around Jupiter"
A GENTLEMAN, while making a speech
in Lawrence, Mass, the other evening,
inadvertently stepped forward and Oft
the platform. To the peals of Laughter
that greeted his unlucky fall, he claimed
that any speaker had right I" to come
down to the level of his audience"
A YOUNG lady seeking situation was
interested in an advertisement for some
one to do light housekeeping. So she
wrote to the advertiser asking where
the lighthouse was, and if there was any
way of getting to shore on Sunday.
In one of the suburban schools Of
Dover, N. H., the committee man put
out the word "psalter" to class in
spelling. 1t was q poser to all till it
reached the foot of the class, when
curly headed little fellow spelled it cor.
rectly, and being asked to define it,
shouted out, "more sals."
"PErER, what are you doing to that
boy n said schoolmaster. "He wanted
TO know if you take 10 from IL how
many will remain; SO took ten of his
apples to show him, and now he wants
me to give 'em back" "Well, why
don't you do it?" "Coz, sir, he would
forget how many is left"
The pun fiend is again on the war.
path. Here is his latest effort: "Why
IS an egg produced last month like
native of Malacca? Because it is
May-lay."
A VIRGINIA exchange says, at con-
cert recently, at the conclusion of the
song, "There's good time coming"
! country farmer got up and exclaimed:
Mister, you couldn't fix the date, could
your"
TIE young lady inhabitants of the