The Hickman courier., 1872-10-12
HUMOROUS.

The only thing that can live In
fire is live coal.
The difference between fixed stars
and shooting stars. The one are
suns, the others darters.
II SPEECH is silver, and if silence
is gold, how much is deaf and dumb
man worth
In -apnR andfa quart OF whisky
were left together, which would be
drunk first?
"BoBBY, why don't your mother
sew up your trowsers p Cause she's
at the vestry meeting for the hea-
thens."
A CAREFUL observer has noticed
that young ladies with new solitaire
rings never require much urging to
play the piano.
IT IS estimated that We pedagogue
will administer not less than 1900
whacks during the current term OF
the public schools
For as It's meet to bathe ye feet
Ne ailing head to mende,
Ye yOnkers pate to stimulate
He beats ye other ende-
A DRUNKARD, on being told that the
world is round and turns on its axis
all the time, said Il believe that,
for have never been able to stand
on the darned thing"
A VETERAN observer says "I
never place much reliance on a man
who is always telling what he would
have done had he been there. l
have noticed that somehow this
kind of people never get there. +"
FAsHIoxABLE patroness to charity
girl, who has been away for holi-
day" Well. Betsy Jane, and what
did you do when you went to see
your friends ?" Betsy Jane-"Please,
m IN, l wore a panier. Punch.
AN exchange says: "This is the
fifth trout caught this year from the
same hole the total weight Of
which is six pounds" "Good,
says the Ottawa Citizen, "now we
know what hole weighs .
A New England advertiser wants
a woman who fears the Lord and
weighs 200 pounds, and the editor
of the paper remarks that ''the ex-
perience of most men is that the
woman who weighs 200 pounds
rarely fears the Lord or any body
else"
A CRAZY man having got into the
gallery of the Senate of the United
States during a rambling debate
was taken out. the sergeant-at-arms
telling him that he was "out oi
place in that gallery"
''That's so. said the lunatic, 81
ought to be on the floor with the
senators.
THERE was pun of Sidney Smiths
that Charles Lever never tired Of
telling. Mrs. Grote, the wife of the
distinguished historian, appeared
once at a soiree with a queer sort
of turban on her accomplished
head. Look at that" said Sidney
that's the origin of tho word grotes-
que
A LITTLE boys grief upon being
refused permission to attend a
neighboring circus, was In part as
suaged by the assurance from his
mother that if he would dry his
tears he might go up the street in
the evening and see his father have
tooth extracted.
SPEAKING of theoretical farming
Josh Billings says that he once knew
a man who wouldn't even set a gate
post without having the ground
analysed to see if it possessed the
proper ingredients for post-holes.
A CITY fop who was taking an air.
ing in the country, tried to amust
himself by quizzing an old farmer
about his bald head, who solemnly
remarked, young man, when my
head gets as soft as yours, I car
raise hair to sell. !"
Or THE many Poles immigratins
to this country, it is remarked thai
very large percentage are journey
men tailors. This is doubtless
owing to the mutual attractions be-
| tween the needle and the Pole,