The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-03-09
PITH AND POINT.

What did the spider do when he
came out of the ark He took fly and
went home.
Good resolutions are like ladies who
faint in lecture room; they should be
carried out.
Teeth extracted with great pains, :"
is the advertisement of a Washington
dentist
A doctor was asked to dance the
laneers. > He declined, but expressed
a willingness to lance the dancers.
Mind your P's and Q's. An inver-
ted letter makes the announcement that
Mr.. B. will squeak on Temperance. :"
A wag sad of an egotistical author,
Somebody should take pity on his read
ers, and put out his Is.
do you think that raw oysters are
healshy?" asked lady of her physician.
YES, he replied, Il never knew one to
complain of being out Of health in my
life.
A Persian philosopher, being asked
by what method he had acquired so much
knowledge, answered: "By not being
prevented by shame from asking ques-
lions when I was Ignorant
-"WeIl, Mrs. Smith," said Mrs.
Jones, ''if I'm anything. I'm Unitari-
an; what religion are you p Il ain t
quite sartin what they calls it, but my
old man says he's a vegetarian.
A young Hoosier once said to Hoo
sieress: "Sal, is there anybody courtin'
yu now? And Sal replied: We'll,
Sam, there's one fellow sorter courtin' i,
and sorter not, but reckon it is more
sorter ncs than sorter.
II meant to have told you of that
hole. said gentlemen to his friend wlo
was walking with him in his garden, and
stumbled into PIT full of water. "No
matter" said the friend, blowing the
mud and water out of his mouth, I've
found it,
"A Teacher had been explaining to
his class the points of compass, and all
were drawn up facing the north. snow.
what is that before you, John?' 1.-The
north, SIR" And what behind you,
Tommy? ?" 'My coat-tail, said the boy,
looking behind him.
-"Digby, win you take some CT this
butter? ''
''Thank you a'am, belonging to the
temperance society, and can't take any
thing strong" answered Digby.
"A Bridget who, as usual, enter
tains an exalted opinion of the good
things of the old country, was asked by
mistress if they had any pies where she
formly lived in Ireland
Yes and sure they do"
A'What kind of pies?''
"Magpies. num-"
"A Paris correspondent writes: CAL
the ANIMALS in the geological Gardens
have been killed except the monk ys
these are kept alive from a vague and
Darwinian notion that they are our rela
tives.
1tGdui. SstiQ L. 1JdiuHtl, 10 tilt
graf anahiater-it annihilates tine anc
space. YES" said another, "and null
titudes of passengers, too
-Some years ago, In one of our West
ern courts. three men-an Englishman,
an Irishman. and Scotchman-were
found guilty of murder and sentenced tc
be hung. The Judge told them they
could each choose the tree on which They
would ike to be STRUNG up" The
Scotchman promptly chose an ash tree
and the Englishman an oak tree "Well
Pat, what will you be hung on?" asked
the Judge. IF it please your honor
i rather be hung on gooseberry bush
cob" said the Judge, that's not bis
enough "Begorra, then, replied Pat
IN wait till it grows
Always laugh when you can't is :
cheap medicine Mirthfulness is philo
sophy not we'll understood, 1t is the
SUNNY side of existence.
A dead beat" is live loafer.
10 expect to restrain men from