davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
MARRIED.

BARNARD-BYRAM-On Weiuesiay Nov c7l, at No S Desu.
brooklyn Rev ChG[ H. Hail. D. d., DANIEL T. BltnAId 70
Esther daughter Of the late SAs e. Byram VI Ne"buh N Il
No cards
Philadelphia papers please COPY.
BoOTE-DURG ESS-On Wednesday, Nov l. At East Orange, j.
Rev c. Snt D. d. EDWARD BOoe 20 IslOea daughter oi
John Borgess.
BoWEB-W -WILLBTs-At Jericho L. L. Fourth Jay, nh month
l the residence OF the BRIDE BY Friends ceremony Sidney D.
Bovine Of Glen Cove TO Martha v WlletS
CARTER-SUTPHBN-In this city, Thursday Nov q b Rev w
assisted bV Rev. Morris Suphen d. De- LoDeI'
Carter L. daughter OF the Late GlUe D.
Su.ph D Of BedDrster. n. J. No cards
Wednesday evening Eoy at St. AIMS
on s gbts by tue ~ H. Scheuck D. william j. Edwards
70 La choOy daughter u John G. Sehooy esq., all 0i the CY
Of Brooklyn
uASsENWOODs- the residence ofthe brides parents Wihchcs
ter Illinois oct 49, 1911 bv tue Rev. B. b. Hamilton Dr. Elor1n T.
Hansen Miss Aay e. daughter oI Col JOnA L. ooo AL VI "A
chester. No cards
vTNGSTON-HAMERsLEY-o THURSDAY, Nov. at Grace
Church, Rev. H. L. PO D. D. John lleHrE Livingston "i
Catherine LnSon daaSler of John '" hAmef'cy OF
ths ciD.
MAYHRMoNRoE-on wednesday Nov l. at the residence Of Mrs
r. c. Cier Phapha, By the R Rev. Wm Bacon Stevens D.
Edward Mayer Of Wksbarre Pa to EhIAbeth Gnr mon
roe daughter Of the late Hon Robert Z. Gner
sTBPHENSPLATTAtth residence Of the brides parents Tues
day evening Oct 3 by the Rev Daily, Stephens Of
jersey City Matilda e. daughter Of L. Platt BeleVle N
siORM-HARPL-At the residence brides parents HopeWe
n J. On Wednesday H. BY the Rev. e. T. Cobb Wliam
Storm 70 Isabel daughter Of Geo. NJ Harpe OF Ae"Yok
City.
sTYLBs-HUNT-on Tuday Nov the reabtence Of the brides
parrpts y the Rev. Aei Beach Samuel Styles to Mary
Louise daughter Of Isaac o. Hunt, ESQ. NJ carlA
IN Not;,.. of To,oces oust n. indorsed With full
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
PHILADELPHIA REPEATERs IN JERSEY CITY

LII L.
TO Ae Bditor OF The Tribune.
SIR: While passing through Jersey City yes
terday met noted Philadelphia Democratic politician.
Being favor Of true and honest elections par
tios knowing this mans personal politics and bis
hailng from Philadelphia concluded to watch his
movements. followed him to Taylors Hotel whore he
met by leading Democrats Of Jersey City. After
short conference with the same the party started ont
aud stopped at different Democratic headquarters and
returning to TaylOrs, held another meeting lnQuirng
Of several members Of the Democratic Committee,
found this Philadelphia Democrat ntends to bring over
about fifty roughs from philadelphia election day to
vote the Democratic ticket They TO be distributed
throughout the city, and no doubt win attempt to vote
the registry. Wouldn't IL be advisable to
inform the Republican Committee Of the same, and place
them their guard, thereby preventing the polling OF
hundreds of illegal votes q Respectfully, &o., II.
No,o- York, Nov. 2, 1871.
The above comes to us without responsible
name, but the statements made so important, If
true, that VIC give them for what they may be worth
The neglect of many TaInmany men to register hero,
and their whispered purpose to swear in their votes
on election day, and thus occupy tho timo to tho
exclusion of the legal voters, give the matter added
cCnSCquence.-Ed1
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

Tho Official Commission appointed by Gov.
Hoguun Of tho late LeS tire % .erminc
loadug arm for National Quart II NeWY)rk ttte have
ported 10 favor tue RemIg sufficient number Of mngOnS
Tor tic National Gah Of tho State will b. delivered BY the ar'. 0i jan
uAry.
.The Vineland Railway was finished, on Satnr-
day Delaware Bay This places HcsYGrk direct eommunc
ton and fruit land Of SOnh jersey and Delaware
requires only he e Delaware 70 Ne"
with Norfolk via the Delaware and MAAnd
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
MARYLAND.
THE FRIENDS OF THE KU-KLUX IN BALTIMORE
PROTESTING.

PROTESTING.
BALTIMORE, Nov. "A mass meeting of the
Democratic Conservative party OF this city was held
tonight Monumen-square to protest against the pro-
cecdngs IN South Carolina under tho suspension Of tho
writ of habeas corpus, the call for the meeting
stated grand uprising to protest against the wicked
war now b.inc wagcd against Liberty and law" Tho
Hon. Rcycrdy Johnson presided at the meeiins AMI scy
cred by Rcverdy Johnson Pinkaey WAlto Joshua Van
y:ut others
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

of man usmeS English Tho headquarters Of an ergau
lied gang Of ht>usebrcafors. near Chlioothe. Ohio
Among the articles captured were number OF books
instructne aovioes in s cart Of burglary Two Of the
gang wore arrested. A merchant has identlnea sS"o
~orb a, tsn pronerty >und In tho possession Of the
nrian
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
THE PHENIx INSURANCE COMPANY OF BROOK

This Company were the first to announce them
selves IN Chicago after the great fire. They the
to resume business, and paid he rS lOss They covered
property in that Inflated city to the amount OF three
hunrod and fifty thousand dollars Their assets exceed
million and hree-qudrters Their may there
fore satisfied Of their security and be grahed with
the strength Of this sterling corporation In terrific
cOu ID II ation-tC rcial Advertiser.
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
TIE STATE OF Trade.
DONPSTIC MARKETS.

NEv.ORLEAys Nov 2Brin decncd sales at 81 20 Hay dali
and Fair Prime, SS9SSi Caoos go Porl dnne at
sO0S sHgarCare Hams lie Sngr-Goo to Csnmon,
gic; Far l Prime. lie Yellow Clarad III 4lItc h1asSes
declined Common 3j01oj Prime, 9Ci Choice sy~1Oc WGy
easier Csc articles unchanged BIchAnSe-StsrlnE,
l2li Nsw.York Sight, discount. Gold, iEt, s,. nj,
WILMINGTON NoV 2-Sprits Turpeniue rn at 64c Rcsn n;
9O for Strained Crude Tapenne steady a. " 80 Tor Bard
sJ l6 for Yellow Dip; 81 35 for Nrgn Tar steady.
DETROIT 2wheat dul doopinsi EIr, 81 S0i No.
White, 81 4615 81 10; Amber Michigan, Sl Al
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
LATEST SHIP NEJPS.
Tor other Ship Yeps see Second Page.l

Tor other Ship NeTS see Second Pagel
ARRIVED.
s.n.hip Erin Bl Lawson London Oct R and iavro l'h
Steamship bosse Bager oean, Oct IS with mdse aud
pass " I. H. Mallory Co. . ~,
Steamship Bell Bkeman Norfolk with mdse and pass to Old
Dominion Steamship Co. o, IL, -,
ship City NGnEu Muir OF and 81 days from Glasgow with pig
iron, &c. -, IA, -
Bark Alexander (Swed.) Alns Boston days In ballast
schr. Rescue Br Hataeld. Dorchester b. daJs Win oos
81,
sctr Cape Br) Tayor Dorchester n b. With building "ns
%BKs-kIyRH AND coA5TwisE
Mary P1ce Phla1eph!a R.ghtway Portland, CT,
NJ 81. Braneri, Portland, Ct X IL. Wilon ProViJenee
L. b. fyea. Providence. Hannibal, Provd nee
Chas L. Hule ProVi 'ence Frances Sandwich.
Flora Temple Port Jgf.gon. Yankee Boy, HeW.lIayeu
Connecticut New-AleI. A. r. Bailey, he"-haTsa'
6. CuIuI, Calais Hunter, Pg9yiet99a
J. r. Mitchell Sts-f ayeu. Belle T., Virginia
Bait more. Virginia. J. II. kapp, Virginia
AdaiLa VIrgi la. Wa. Allen 'lrghla
Fra AletsLirA Julien GeorgeoyH. D. c.
A!he Avpr7 Geoge'nwn D. c. VIM H. Rowe GgoSeto"n, DC
Oliver Scot, ID. Baltimore. Mar! Jane, virgins.
H. Il. Pretmore, VirGniA Jonh I. Merrill houtout
Eira Williams Ron .out. J. r. Cuuniughlm, HcllDuL
J. J. Harris Roniou- J. A. Barues ROpdouG
Warm Gaes BiEjethpor. 4. HcrSin, EhlabetbPort
Alice Oakes, EigibebpOri. Charger, EitaDethPor
Cyut.ia Jlue ElEl6e;bppt tpenui EhahetdPort
n II. Brown, ElEabethporL B. Shemin ElLabrthpor.
J ii. Borden, Elizabeth ChaTestn hhkaDetnpOrL
1iIie B., Eirabehp0r. Jas Baker BiIajethpOr.
WlhD-sunSet, light WI clear
SAILED.
Steamships Hans for DremeR Nor Castle for Havana VIA Fui
Ven M LONDON Gen. Barnes for sAyannih Georgia. for Charles
on Haie.as Tor Norfolk Saratoga for Norfolk.
------
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

ever before The Mayor closed by expressing his deter
on Tuesday next and callcd hs frsnds tU soc to it
that the Ring party was swept into oblivion.
Other speeches made In German prior TO adjourn
mont
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
PASSENGERS ARRIVED.

FROM GLASGOW In steamship Columbia Nov 2-Ms NJ Cook
H. lnnes Ahns Kchea4y hs Phillips !! " Scott MIS- TG,,t
Tho Nc( nske McCuskle Mira VIM McCulks Mia H. lIns
chen feu Signe Hnscheu Rev. De Witt w. haOkeu
Iin lnhn IL OuIil
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

Cattle are demand; quote best sale today at
81 B7I0S5 6i first quality I5d - 8t medium 50 b2i1
- 25 ordinary 81 53s3 6!i receipts 165 head: ..es 20 ~
downward tendency quote at 20 90
receipts $40 head SheepBclter feeling but market NOT
0ov; quote fair to good 81 $685. good 70 extra at 500
S5 J1ti 4,2I3 hsli.
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
Guericl Notices
Lea G PoErins' Sauee.
Pnnooneod bY Connolnsaurs

Lea Sc PorFins' sauee.
Pronounced By ConnoLssars
"THE ONLY GOOD SAUCE.
n,,, ,rD,,it, and diresou and unyseA for ih aAvof
49, Nv nsssrs GEA PRRRIAS prosecute ell PAuss
AakiGg Nsaaias eounerdt%
"OfiN IaEaTs NEwioHk>
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

Long Winter Evenings! $40 BILLIARD T'nLEi Full HEs
Cue. and Balls Qlick Rubber Cushions Diagram free
ABBOT NICHOLS sS Loerty'sL, NeW'Iofk
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

Dressing Cases Of the 6aesi quality.
SCHUYLER, HARTLEY 4 GRNHAT,
- Maid, lane and - JOhnst
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

,cANg OF BURGLARs BROKEN UP.
c,vr,xyArI, Nov. 9.-0n Friday last descent
nado by the sheriff and his pOsse the res,deuos
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
RECEIVING ELECTION RETURNS.

The Board of Supervisors divided the city
Into fourteen election return districts yesterday ana
lagued TO each an Alderman TO whom the in
lch election district ore to report The return districts
ble - follows:
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03
politi1al Notices

Give Oue Day the CHu.e Of G0ad GOveraAcmf.
APPEAL OF The COaAlrTER O1 SEvBhTI:
The ExeeFve Committee Of Sest sppntsd BY the pubs meea
assembled at the Coorer In ue the 4h Of Sspnber earnestly
70 all citizens Of bu trade snf calling tn close r
spectre places Of so OF raeaay Nov Dd to mfe tsS se
e thtr sole that the end het M and NM Voa
honest the close Of the polls 10 secured
The occasion Is critical TIE responsibility that rests upon as -
mcnus The direct between the
honest citizens who labor their living and organized gaT Of peH
cal Dlderen Who'e sn ealing 10 prey upon the City Treasury an
~ enrich without labor tie public cost The Comtt..
deem OF the utmost importance ba. ibcB whatever ~
occupation should be perfectly free election devote hseh
the public TsV eeye tiat this Thousands Of os
will be gained the r and that by the and deta
mined presence VI hCnest voters the polls and darng the
peanR false registering and baotbOr stung will b. checked and -
Ismwsy Irg w s restrained from attempting the iAs The 's
which they tLreats1ed.
aud other public which
also urged to mike viii enable every enpo
" deposit his vote HENRY O. STEBBlEs Chairman
WM. Y. HAVkMEfER, YIssChsrAaa.
ROswELL D, HGrcH Secretary.
keSYoTk Oct 81, 1871.
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

Steamships Hana Bremen; Nor Castle for Havana VIA Nsui
Ven h LONDON Gen. Barnes for sAyannh Georgia Tor Cbaes'
on H4Ie.as Tor Norfolk Saratoga for Norfolk
New-York tribune., 1871-11-03

'COmmttee OF ScVenty.t
The following nominations have been n0Cne by Tho Committee
Seventy AID are recommended to all honesi voters;
For Jastiee Of the Supreme Court
GEORGE C. BARRETT.
FOR Judges Of the Superior COuH,
WILLIAM B. CURTIS,
JOHN SEDGWICK
For Judge the Court Of Common Peaa,
CHARLES p. DAILY.
Por Jr.,ce the Marine Court
ALEXANDER sPALLDlNG
For Register
FRANZ SGRL
For Aldermen:
PETER GIIsEY. ALEXANDER WILDER,
SAMUFL D. II. VANCE, JOHN PALC0NER.
JENKINS VAN sCHAICK, OSCAR ZOLLIKOPFKR.
WILLIAM RADDE, GEORGE w. VARIAN,
SOLOMON MEHRDACH, GEORGE BURGHARD,
ALEXANDER MARTIN join FOLEY -.
JAAiES FITZGERALD, GUsTAVUS N. FABLE,
JOSEPH c. JACKSON
Soaa;onal;
Dist Dist 1919. o
WI o'DONOvAN R0SSA. VILLAINS o,RRIBH
y,,ERASTUS C. BENEDICT VIII. DANIEL y. tlEhAhRs
VI..AUGUSTUS WEISMANNi
DIST Dtst .- - ..,,.v-o-.
II .IjITRY q LFiSK. XIII. GEORGE II. MACKAY.
III EDN ID AWlEIOI GHBY XIV. JOHN A. ROLBY.
W..JUUN HECKER Xy..FRBpK kLlAG
V..DAyiD S. PAIGE Nl.MCHOLASHA AuGhnoh
Vl.,ISAAC WOOD. XVII. .CHAS A. PLAhMER
vii lid RATIO n. .TNYOMBLY XVIII. SAMUEL j. 1ILDBM
VIII. CONRAD GEIB. AlA..HOkAIiO sEi MUUn:,
K..S1 EPlIEN PELL. AA..hEYEhh u AOULlVA
X..HENRY II. HAGHT. XXI..RM A. WHTbBCA
XI..RJSH c. HAWKINS. .... =.
HATCu SPfiv n.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29
Distinguishing Brigham Young's Kingdom

After these long years of delay
the Government seems now deter
mined to Overturn the Mormon hi
erarchy in Utah. The action of
Judge Mexican in excluding Nor
mons from his juries, and so charg-
ing the grand jury as to secure the
Indictment of Brigham Young, ap-
pears to be pant of IN organized
effort to establish legitimate aathori-
ty n the Territory. Polycamy, of
course, is crime in Utah as every
where else, but it is not against poly
gamy alone OF chiefly that the Gov
eminent is moving. The Mormors
are simply rebels against the Gov
eminent, ank the present action is
designed to reduce them to obedi-
ence and bring them under the law.
They claim absolute sovereignty.
They rcl udiate the authority of
the general Government and of
the Territorial officers. They
claim divine warrant for the COM
mission of crime, and regard pre-
tended revelation through Brigham
Young as of more authority than
any law. They have done wholesale
murder at his suggestion, and their
community exists as a standing re-
bellion. To put this rebellion down
is the present duty Of the Govern
ment, and the suppression of poly
gamy il only an incident of the
work. Whether the Salt Lake
leaders will resort to arms in de-
fence of their hierarchy or not, re-
mains to be seen, but the Govern
ment seems to have provided for a.
contingencies-this among the rest
and there are enough troops now
in Utah to make short work with
the Mormon militia, should the lat
ter prove insane enough to resist by
force.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29
INTERESTING ITEMS.
How 10 be Unsuccessful.

1st Consult Tom, Dick and
Harry in matters of business, and
then follow, not the best, but the
last, advice given.
I'd. Instead of marching straight
over trouble with firm front,
crouch and let it march over you.
3D.. Have no mind of your own,
no self-reliance. BE unstable and
shifting as the sand on the seashore.
4th. If you are knocked down
to-day, conclude that your place is
on your back tomorrow, and the
next day, and SO Oh.
5th. Because it rains to-day and
is dismal, make up your mind that
it is going 10 be rainy and dismal
always.
9th. Never look among your
clouds for silver Innings, for riffs
through to the blue sky and the
sunshine beyond.
7th. Follow these directions close
ly, and failure will track your steps
like a bloodhound /; in adversely
Won will be as worthless as an old
rotten sheet for a sail in a gale OF
wind when fire comes, as come it
must, you will find all the metal
you ever had in you turned to
dross and in the fire, you know,
dross never purifes or refnes-it
only burns.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29

Sound SENSE -"Newspaper men
have the enterprise to publish neat,
creditable papers, and they strain every
nerve to do this, hut the people don't
consider the fact that the a pearance
of their home newspapers is pretty
fine index of their own intelligence
and enterprise-that it shows by its
face, in every issue, whether it is
starved or well su ,f rte. T. ere n
class of people who do half 81 mn, h
for the general good, or who work so
hard as newspaper men. Many of
them are put to all sorts OF expedients
to get along, when there are hundreds
of influential men who do nothing
comparatively speaking, TO sustain it.
The same men might easily speak a
good word for it, get their friends to
subscribe for it, sustain it with their
o ver,ising patronage, and help build
up a paper that would be credit to
the country; and thus also remunerate
a hard working mar. Every citizen
of county ought no more think of
doing without his local paper than he
would of emitting his meals. He ought
to be animated by sufficient pride, if
by no other motive, to sustain it, and
thus see it a worthy representative of
the people"
Rc~The funeral of Major Cato in
Philadelphia was attended by an i'm
mepse concorIrse Delegations of white
and colored persons were in attendance
from Washington, Wes:ch ,ster, Balti-
more, Trenton, and other cities.
nN-An aneurism of the carotid
artery was cured in London, lately
in a very ingenious way. The SUBJ
ject was no less parsonage than
the Lord Mayor. The dangers Of
attem ?ting removal by the knife in
such cases are very great, while the
application of pressure by mechan-
ism was impossible. But the genius
of the surgeon, Mr.. Buxton Shilli-
TIE, was equal to the emergency. He
organized a ccr.,s of medical
students, who should by relieving
one another keep pressure on the
arteryby their fingers and maintain
it for weeks, until the aneurism
was elaborated AMI the artery re-
covered.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29
VICKSBURG AND BENDS.

FOR vICKSBURG, DAVIS Bend
Leaves on SATURDAY, at 5 P. NJ.
zt# Sunny Side, Eggs sT POINT nj.
Barnard, Grand Lake, Leo
Ia, Maryland, Carolina, Pitchers Point
Skipwith, Lake Providence, Pennsylvania
Goodrich's, Millikens Bend, Duckport,
vicksburg, Grand Gulf, st. Joseph, Rod
ney, Waterproof, Natchez, Bayou Sara,
Baton Rouge, Plaquemine, Donaldsonville,
and all intermediate and Coast landings.
The new and magnificent steamer
W. S. PIKE,
j. j. Brown, Master.
On place of steamer Natchez,)
Will leave as above, and, will land all
Coast passengers with their freight.
Connects at Vicksburg with packets for
all points on the Yazoo and Tallahatchie
rivers.
For freight or passage apply on board
JNO. JANNEY, Agent,
$50 Common Street.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29
RAILROADS.
PEClAL NOTICE.

49, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~>~~~~
CPECIAL NOTICE.
st. Louis, Iron Moutain and Southern
Railroad.
THE ONLY ALL RAIL ROUTE
To st. Louis, Chicago, Omaha, San
Francisco, st Paul, Kansas City, Leav-
enworth, ST Joseph,
And all Points North, Fest and West.
TWO EXPRESS TRAINS leave the
New Orleans, Jackson and Great
Northern Railroad Depot daily. at z
A. II. and p. NJ.
AN EXPRESS TRAIN leaves the foot Of
Canal street daily at s A. NJ. via the
New Orleans, Mobile and Chattanooga
Railroad, making close connections
at Mobile with the Mobile and Ohio
Railroad to all points North, East
and West.
For tickets apply to
A. D. SHELDON.
Ticket Agent New Orleans, jackson and
Great Northen Railroad, corner Camp
and Common streets, under City
Hotel or to
W. BEDELL.
Ticket Agent New Orleans, Mobile and
Chattanooga Railroad No. $50 Com
mon street, under st. Charles Hotel
j. H. WINGFIELD.
General experimenting Agent st. Louis
Iron Mountain and Southern Railroad
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29

Every part of a Waltham Watch is made
by machinery; The machinery used in
making the movement of a single watch
coast over a Hundred Thousand Dollars,
yet we sell these Watches, in a solid Silver
Hunting Case, for SIS. The same watch
could not be made by hand and inisheds
as perfectly for Ten TINES AS MUCH.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29
Monday, November 81, 1870,

Monday, November 81, 1870,
and passenger trains will run as follows ::
Leave New Orleans, from the foot of
Canal street, for Bay ST. Louis, Pass
Christian, Mississippi City, Biloxi, Ocean
Springs, Pascaeoulaand Mobile at o o'clock
a. NJ. Arrivive at Mobile at 2:3O O'Clock
P. NJ, connecting at Mobile with the
MOBILE AND OHIO, and the MO
BILE AND MONTGOMERY RAIL
ROADS for all points
NORTH, EAST AND WEST.
Leave Mobile for New Orleans at II 20
A. NJ. Arriving at G:10 P. NJ.
Fare Between New Orleans and Mobile.
Five Dollars.
THROUGH FREIGHT TRAINS RUN
EACH WAY DAILY.
Freight received at New Orleans, at
the foot of Julia street before 4:30 p. NJ.
delivered at Mobile early next morning.
FREIGHT AS LOW AS BY ANY
OTHER ROUTE.
For further information, call at the
General Office of the company, rooms one
and two, up stairs. STORY BUILDING,
corner Camp and Common streets.
]. r. KENDRICK.
General Superintendent.
Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-10-29

had he done to you?" "He had
Just deyoured my wife" is the reply
The president reflects an instant,
and then says: "My friend, 1 am
of the opinion that you have been
sufficiently rewarded"
A YOUNG minister, whose repu-
tation for veracity was not very good,
once yentured at an association dinner
to differ with an old doctor of divinity
as to the efficacy of the use of the rod.
"Why," said he, "the only time my
father ever whipped me if was for te,,-
ling the truth"
We'll" retorted the doctor, sit
cured you of it, didn't it.
A wife had the following placed
upon her tomb stone
Weep not for me my dearest dear
am not dead but sleeping here,
Repent my love before you die,
For you must come and sleep with I.
Sometime afterward the husband
married, whereupon a wag wrote
underneath the above lines the fol-
lowing
will not weep my dearest life
For have got another wife,
I cannot come and sleep with thee
For l must go and sleep with she.
A Wyoming man discovered a
satisfactory solution OF the woman
question" the other day. His wife
got herself summoned for jury
man, leaving the poor fellow to keel
house. He protested, but it was
no use. She said he would "find
out how nice it was to stay home
and mind the children, while She
was loafing around the courthouse
as he usel to do" The man went
home and hired a good-looking
cook, and sent word to his wife that
he was getting along first rate. She
got excused on the instant, dropped
in suddenly at the house, and il
about five minutes that blond cook
was seen to make two-forty time
away from the promises, minus
her chignon.
One of "our young girls" at an
examination in grammar, the other
day, when asked why the noun
bachelor was singular, blushing-
ly answered. Because it is very
singular they don't get married.
Are youshonest If SO it would
bring your honesty more in the
light of the world if you would
pay for your Paper.
"A man. stopping his paper
wrote to the editor II think folks
ottent to spend their mummy fol
paypers, my dada didant, and every
body said he was the intelleigentes
man in the country, and had the
smartest family Of boiz that eve,
dugged taters.'
A certain typo, whose nose
shone in the dark like a lighthouse
from the effects of steady and
copious libations of stimulants
having been asked why printer.
We're dissipated, astonished the
questioner by the following nea
answer:
When others Stunned the murky sky,
Where flash on flash was bright'nin
Great Franklin went to fly his kite,
And bottled up the lightning.
And since his time, when cares oppress,
And the hard times are lightning,
The printer seeks to drown his woes,
In draughts Of "bottled lightning.
When badly tattered-his warm heart
A place for grief to rankle in
He takes the lightning" flies his kite.
And thinks himself franklin.
AN auctioneer thus exalted the
merits of carpet: ''Gentlemen and
ladies, some folks sell carpets fol
Brussels which are not Brussels; but
/ can most positively assure You that
this elegant article was made by Mr..
Brussels himsclf!'
If you know anything that will
make o brothers heart glad, run
quickly and tell it; but if it is some
Al