Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-05-13
Facts and Tancles.

i
Toremove stains from the character
get rich.
Counter attractions - pretty lady
clerks.
The paper with the largest circulation
the paper of tobacco.
When is a mans word stroag p
When he can't break it.
When does man have to keep it !
When nobody will take it.
The paper in which the young wri-
ter's efFusion is likely to be found
curl paper.
A Kentucky editor boasts the ale
brewed in his town would not injure
q new >born infant, while it nourishes
and cheers those of mature years"
A young man who was caught strain
ing his sweetheart to his bosom the
other night. justfies himself by saying
that he has right to strain his own
honey.
A Mississippian, in Dragging about
his wife, wound up with the dcclara-
tion. "Why, she'd make regular
high pressure steamer, she's such tai
ent for blowing up"
A Springfield, H., girl'sold her lover
to another girl for black silk dress,
and so managed matters that the couple
were married within month after the
bargain was made.
Whisky is your greatest enemy.
"But," said MIR. Jones, don't the BIZ
say, Mr.. Preacher. that we are to love
our enemies I 90, yes, Jones, but it
don't say TO swallow them"
An economical fellow says that when
his stockings wear out he scws up the
top traight across, aud aud puts them
on his feet the other way, thus making
q good fit for squar-toed boots.
The editor of country newspaper
says that he felt called to publish Father
Lewis sermon on the "Loca.ity of He'll"
as it was question ia which nearly all
his relation was interested.
A Utica man, whose wife having under
taken to hang herself, was cut down by
the neighbors, is very much ineensed
thereat, and thinks that people had
better stay at home and not meddle
With other peoples family affairs"
A mother trying TO get her little
daughter Of three years old u sleep one
night said g Anna, why DONE you try TO get
TO sleep" IN trying" she replied. But
you havn't shut your eyes. well cant
help it; um come unbuttoned."
Il is estinai cd that the receipts from
internal revenue sources for the present
fiscal year viii foot up sl45 900 900.
During the fiscal year part of the old
Law was in effect to August 1st, part TO
Oct. lst and special taxes to May lst
It 10 estimated that the fiscal ySar end
ing June 30, 1871, the receipts under
the present Law will reach about S126, :
500, 900.
The Catholic Almanac for 1871
states that the Catholic population Of
PennDsylvania Is 535, 900, of which
225. 900 is in the diocese of Philadelphia
10000 in Pittsburgh, 10000 in
Scranton, 10000 in Erie, 1000 Har-
rIAburg. There are archbishops, 81
bishops and 3 mitred abbots having
jurisdiction 10 the United States
The curious fact that needle or other
steel wire inserted into living body will
Immediately become oxi1ized, while, If
the body be dead, no oxidation will take
place, was recently brought to light by
DR.. Laborde, of Paris. This is simple
test as to whether death has taken. place,
and will be available in cases Of trance
or catalepsy.
A down easter advertises for q vile
in the following manner:
Any gal what's got COW, good
feather bed and fixins, $500 in hard
puter, one that's had the measles, and
understands tendin children, can have
a customer for life by writin' a billy
dux, address to = r., and stick
it on uncle.Ebenezer's barn, hind end
jinin the hog pen"
/ A wag strolling with friend through
a country churchyard, call attention te
grave, the stone of which had nc
name or inscription on it. 'sThis said
H, "is the grave of the once no, o.
rious gambler, Mr.. Ri. You will
observe that there is no name recorded
on the tombstone, but I think I could
suggest very appropriate epitaph.' :
'What would you suggest" inquired
the friend. "WaitiDg for tho las
trump" was the reply.
| AT the late meeting of the Presby'
terry, brother W said: Early in hi
ministry he and another brother wer,
conducting meetingin which there wal
much religious interest. An old mar
gave expression to JOY by shouting, ant
continued it until il began to interrup
the services. Brother H--said /,
brother W, "io and stop that OLE
D. 4