The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1871-10-26
NUMBER 20
From the New York Demoeratl
TERENCE MIGRANT.
Misses on his TrnvoIs-LeaVes Long
branch for quiet and 30 Get Aid OF
Murphy.


Murphy.
CH1cKAaUE. HI, October won.
MIsrHER PUAiMERY Hcslt and re
cousin Ulisses have bu. Yelling for his
health. We lift Lang J.. b because u
was afther getting so coAid that aFeh
fshky wouldn't warm US at all, and the
Lord knows we thried it enough 10 warm
a shtone giant Besides, there was gong
to be throuble about the house we have
been living in. Ye see, Misther Murphy,
of New York, was once a shoddy coatrac-
tor in the Army He furnished paste.
board hats and mosquito-bar blankets for
me cousin Ulisses' brave soldiers, and
made siveral million dollars. Well, he
was arrested for shwindling the Govern
ment, and me cousin got him TO dlYlde his
shtalings wild him, and arranged matthers
so the witnesses against Murphy got out
of the country whln the thr1al came OH,
and Murphy was discharged. But Muir
ply chated me cousin on the division.
toWld me cousin at the time to be atther
looking out for Murphy, as ne was one oil
those galvanized Irishmen. An Irlshman
is usually honest until he gets to voting
the Republican ticket, and then, begorra,
yez musht look out for him. am an
freshman mesilf, and warndd me cousin
Ulisses to beware of Murphy, but he let
the ovid devil have his own way, and al
ther he had got free from the criminal
charge all he gave me cousin was lew
thousand dollars. Me cousin felt grieyed
that ony man in whom he thrusted so I'M
plicity should 90 back on him, and he
towld Murphy so. But Murphy said be
would make it all right. So he got up
subscription and raised money enough to
buy the cottage at Lang Branch for me
cousin and gave it to him, wild horse or
two. Thin me cousin appointed Murphy
Collector of the Port Of New York.
Since that time Murphy and me cousin
have been fasht frinds, until lately the
New York Tribune has found out that
Murphy and me cousin Ulisses have been
making a hape of money be shwindling
paple who have goods shipped from abroad.
! and that unprincipled paper has been pub
fishing all about it. Me cousin wrote 70
ovid Grayley and towld him that he would
ruin the party if he kept'on in this way,
but Grayley wouldn't shtcp, and me cou-
sin towld Murphy he would have to lave
the Cushtom-house TO keep pace IN the
family. Fhat do yez think Murphy did 2
Be jabers, ,hetowld me cousin if he removed
him from that Office he would foreclose his
mortgage or me cousins cottage at Lang
Branch, and publish TO the world how me
|
his shtalIngs. The ovid divil
Thish made me cousin sick, and he said
we musht get away from Lang Brach. We
visited ovid Jesse, me cousins father. at
Covington, but the ovid man had so much
advice to give me cousion about being
elected President again, that we didn't en-
Joy ourselves at all. Me cousin has about
given up being elected, beeouse he was
expecting to get some Dimmecratic votes
to offset the Republicans that will not
vote for him, but now if Murphy proves
that me COUSIN was interested wild him
IN his shtahng, divil the Dimmecrat will
vote for him at all at all. Fhat is to be-
come of the relations If me cousin is not
elected, is more than / can tell, unless
law is pashed to prevent the next Presi-
dent from removing our officers for at
laisht four yesrs.
We left ovid Jesse at Covington, Just
as he was preparing a lisht Of names of
new relatives that he had dishcovered in
Ohio that had got to have an Office TO kape
them out of the poorhouse The hsht
was so formidable that me cousin got
away in hurry and towld the ovid man
he would shtop whin he came back. We
wint to Gelaney, Ill, where me cousin
used to work IN "a tannery. Here me
cousin was at home. 1t would have done
yez sowl good to have sane HIM as the
peculiar shmell of the tannery shtruck his
ears He rushed IN the tannery, elasped
calf-skin to his bosom and wept We
all uncovered our heaps at the outbursht
of feeling, and left him alone TO recover
from his emotion. The man who kapes
the tannery gave me cousin the calf-skin.
1t was hard to tear him away from the
sanes of his early thriumphs over hair,
but finally he was induced 10 lave, and We
came to Chicago. Here we have been re-
caved wild open arms The walters at the
f hotel where we shtopt same TO appreciate
the greatness Of me cousin, but the pro
, prietor of the house showed his dishloy-
! atty be charging us full fare, and he char
, ges extra for everything brought to our
rooms, so we now buy It by the gallon.
We gave RECEPTION IN the parlor of the
hotel, and yez ought 10 see how they
rushed ontil me cotsin The Office howl
derS of Chickague were all there wild their
wives and children. Those who had no
children borrowed some, the way they do
r to go TO circus We have not yet got
! our passes on the railroads, so we don't
! know where we will 60 from here.
Yers, on wild goose chase,
TERRENCE MIGRANT.
!