The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-04-19
[From the De Sofa (Wis.l Rep ,blican.l
A Rich Marriage Ceremony.

A number of years ago there dwe.t
in this village a gentleman by the
name of Cnailes Whiting. Ii ever a
human being was overstocked with
good hCmor a I'D wagishuess, it was
that same Whiting He was up to all
sorts Of innocent tricks and his vic
tins were numbered by the hundred,
manly of whom get reside here t
comes to pass that this wag was elect
ed Justice ot the Peace, and SHORTLY
after his installment in Office, a cou-
pie came over from Iowa to gel united
in the holy bonds OF paddock" Whit
ing tells how he performed the cere-
mony, as follows:
Having be II appointed to the de-
sirable ''posish" of Justice Of the Peace
1 was accnsted on tile 9th OF July, by
sleek looking Young man who in
silvery tones requested me to proceed
to a neighboring hotel, as he wished
to enter into the hoty bonds of matri-
mopy. Here was a ''sqrelcher." l
had never done any thing of the kind,
had no books nor forms; yet L was
determined to do things up strong and
in legal manner, SO proceeded to
the hotel, hearing i'll my arms one
copy OF the Revised Statutes, one dit,
to Webster's Unabridged Dictionary,
one copy large sized Bible, small
copy OF tie creed and articles of faith
OF the Congregational Church, one
copy of Popes Essay on man, and a
sectional part of the map where the
victim lived.
Having placed the table in the mid
die of the room, and seated myself
behind it, |, in trumpet tones, called
the case. With that the young man
and woman with great alacrity, step
ped up before me. Having sworn
them on the dictionary to answer we'll
and truly ali the questions was aboul
TO ask, l proceeded. l told the young
man that being an entire stranger, /
should have to ask him to give bali
for the costs. Having heard this SO
frequently in court, thought it in
disp-nsable. He answered that if l
meant the Tee for performing the cere
mony, he would deposit it then and
there. AS l did not know exactly
what [ did not mean, magnanimiously
waived that portion Of the ceremony.
[ then told him it would be necessary
| to keep the peace. This he said he
WAS wiling to do, when he arrived
home, and | then waived that point
also.
Having establishd to my satisfaction
that they wanted to get married and
that they were old enough to enter in
to that blessed state, proceeded to tie
the knot. L asked him if he was will
ing to take that woman TO be his wife.
H, said he was. l told him that L
did not require haste in the answer
that he might ref 9ct few moments if
. he wished. 1 told him she looked
like a girl, and 1 had no doubt she
WAS 1t if he sequal proved that he
had been taken in, l did not want to
. I've held re ponsible said he must
love, hon,r, ani obey her as long as
she lived he must not be ''snappy"
around the house, nor spit tobacco
juice on the floor. I'll Of which he
promised faith u.ly to heel.
Now" said |, "Georgiana, Cher
name was Georgiana) you hear what
Humphrey says. Do you accept the
invitation to become his wife? Will
you be lenient toward his faults and
cherish his virtues; will you never be
guilty of throwing furniture at his
head Ior slight offenses, and will you
get three meals a day without erumb-
ling? She said she would. I asked
them ii they believed in the Command
ments and they said they dill. Hav-
ing read the creed and articles of faith,
as aforesaid / exclaimed: Humphrey,
take her, she is yours; I cannot with
hold my consent" "Gecrgiana, when
safe in the. arms of your Humphrey,
you can DEFY the SCOTS and jeers OF
the world
tnen read a little from the Essay
on Man. including that passage"
Wan wants but little here below, but
wants that little long AS a finale
to the scene, delivered the following
exordium "Go in peace, sin no more"
The generous Humphrey having
placed a fifty cent check IN my unwil-
ling palm, 1 bade the happy pair a
final adieu.