Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-09-14
Mrs. Prettiman's Skeleton.

Mrs. PfettlIllall'S SkGletOll..
"EvERY family has a skeleton in
the closet" is society aphorism
which nobody denies; for, even as we
admit it, we hear the skeleton in our
own closet family rafting its bones
in confirmation Of the CHASTITY truth.
Thackeray, who devoted himself to
the study of the social, fabric, and
who knew by heart certain phases OF
living, wrote novel after novel Illus
trating an admitted fact, whose truth
is deeper than the satire, whose sad
ness is profounder than the synicism.
Yet, if any one could escape the
suspicion of possessing such an unde-
sirable addition to ones family men
aqe, surely it had been Mrs. Pretti-
man. Laughing, rosy-bright as a
June morning, surely this little lady
ought to stand acquitted of having
any secret trouble to mar her social
joys.
She was the mistress Of a charm
ing villa standing on the outskirts of
the city, thing of beauty" for
every beholder. Roses trailed pink
and-white clouds of blossoms over
Gothic porch and balcony, trim gar,
dens stretched on either side; and
the passer-by would be very apt to
think, here is the very place to spend
ones days in peace and quietude.
1t is we'll to be d luded sometimes
"a happier state of affairs in some
instances, at all events-but I am
one of those who hold that the plain,
unvarnished truth is best. | must,
therefore, as a veritable chronicler,
admit that the Prettiman household
was by no means so near Paradise
within as it promised to be without.
And yet these words might apply
to many another abode beside the one
in question. "Come and stay with
US awhile" requests some friend.
We go, and for time calculate,
Charming How convenient and
graceful are all the surroundings;
what well-behaved children. what
super-excellentservants. 'Allat once,
in moment of forgetfulness, some
body or another leaves the closet
door ajar, and there within is grin
ming the unsuspected skeleton. Awe,
struck, yet with well-bred composule,
we affect to be blind. LET US go
home again. Does anybody suspect
the skeleton in our closet there !?
Well, we'll, we are used to its aspect,
at all events, and its familiar grin
strikes us with far less horror than
the one concealed in the closet Of our
neighbor
Without further prelude, however,
1 will inform you what was the skele-
ton that dampened the joys, chilled
the heart, weighed down the spirits
of one little woman, who was by ma
ture one of the brightest, sweetest,
most CHEEKY of mortals. Mrs. Pret-
timan had a-grumbling husband.
"Oh is that all 2" you exclaim;
II was prepared for something hor-
rible, such as you read of in the
Mysteries of Udolpho, or the other
Radcliffe romancesl" My dear mad
am, pass on, you need not stop for
my story. perceive you have that
greatest of blessings, a better half,
who does not grumble. You, there
fore, cannot synpathize with my
simple, homemade heroine, whose
sorrows, believe me, are yet much
sincerer than the Rose Matilda con-
cocted to order out of impossible ma
terials, spiced with unnaturalhorr |!
Do not imagine, however, that Mr..
Prettiman was that very ordinary
and experimentation husband,
the man who grumbles sometimes.
| Not he, indeedl Grumbling was the
very pivot of his existence. By long
and persevering cultivation, he had
| sublimed it to an art. Grumbling
with him was the essential oil that
creased the whole machinery Of So
ciety. Perhaps you will infer from
this that Mr.. Prettiman was an ex-
ceedingly unpleasant person, whom
every one avoided. By no means /;
many people called him a "delight-
full fellow" for, to be honest, Mr..
Prettiman did the main part Of his
grumbling at home. He had plenty
Of polite phrases for the use Of socie-
ty, and was full of quip and jest
there, SO that you would never have
suspected him of being a grumbling
husband. u
| Nobody knew how Mr.. Prettiman
had first acquired the habit in fact,
I doubt if he were aware himself of
its possession. 1t probably origina-
ted, however, in the conviction, on
this gentleman's part, that he was
the best-abused man in the rid.
From his earliest years, everybody
and everything had united in a con-
spiracy against him. Seldom, indeed,
did any one use him well: he. was a
martyr, whose sufferings were inAict-
! ed by himself.
| And, sooth to say, no one ever yet
found q grumbler who was not the
victim Of his own wrongs. Z" The
world is al against u.s. we cry.
Nonsense Man or woman, be brave;
gird up your loins, and Dc your duty
and you will be. surprised to find
what noble rewards are in store fol
those who try to deserve them. Look
out for roses, and you'll find them
blooming just beside you. Insist
upon thorns, and you'll find them
nrickino Won every step of the way.