Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-07-29
Gatherings by the Wayslde.

The fellow who called tight boots
comfortable, defended his, position by say
ing they made man forget his other mis-
cries.
What evidence is there that there was
beer in the ark The kangaroo was seen
ogp in with hops, and bruin soon fol-
lowed.
"Johnny, what do you expect to do for
living when you get to be Il man! Ill
get married and board with my wifc's mo-
fher."
AN Irishman being told that the price
Of bread had fallen exclaimed: "This is
the first time ever rejoccd in the fall of
any best friend"
A man in Athens, Pennsylvania, has
patch of ground he has planted in onions
consecutivcly for forty years, raising fine
crop each year.
Two families in New Albany, Indiana,
were made quite sick, few days since, by
catin. lettuce upon which eggs. of potato
bugs had been deposited.
A Yankee editor remarks that he has
lately seen couple of sisters who had to
be told everything together, for they were
so much alike that they could not be told
apart.
james Bottom. wife and three chill
dren, of Appleton, Wisconsin, were driving
to church the other Sunday, when the
horse ran away, upset the buggy, and kill
el all but one child
"A Chicago merchant advertised a
Boy Wanted and before he got down
town his clerk met him. breathlcss, and
told him that his wife had twin boys. Oh,
it pays to advertise.
Every seventh person in London is in
receipt Of public charity. The cost of aid
ing this class has increased during the past
ten years 6S per cent. faster than the
growth of the great metropolis.
In Cincinnati, few days ago, Matte
e. Davies, young woman, was cndeavor-
ing to kindc II fire with coal OIL when the
can containing the fluid exploded, burning
her terribly. She died the same day.
Mrs. II. B. Stowe says: "Mcn need
wives who are in love with them. Simple
tolerance is not enough to stand the strain
Of married life, and to get married when
you do not truly love, is to commit an act
of dishonesty aud injustice"
A Massachusetts, mathematician has
been working six month for satisfactory
solution of the following problem: I" IF the
Colt pistol made fortune of four millions
for its manufacturer, how much ought the
horse pistol to make"
Two well-dressed ladies were examin.
ing a statuette Of Andromeca, labelled,
Executed in Terra Gotta" Says one :
"Where's that?" "I'm sure l don't
know" returned the other, "but pity
the poor girl, wherever it was"
A Cockney tourist met with Scotch
lassie going barefooted towards Glasgow.
L" Lassie," said he, /" should like to know
IT all the people in this part go barcfooted?"
Part of 'em do, and the rest of 'cm mind
their own business" was the reply"
A young married lady being applied
to for situation by servant girl, she ask
ed: "Why did you leave your last place %
"Why, you see, ma'am," replied the girl.
I" 1 was too good looking, and when I open
ed the door the gentlemen always took me
for the missis."
-" Paddy, my boy" said gentleman
to an Irishman, whom he observed fishing
away at deep pool, "that must be ia
vorite stream for trout" "Faith an sure
it must be the same, for I have been stand
ing here this three hours, and not one of
'em will come out of it."
"A sly old deacon wishing to give his
pastor hint to put more juice in his SER
mons, said to him one day: 81 must get
nearer the pulpit, for by the time your
words reach my ears, the people in front Of
me have SO takon the pith of them that
they are as insipid as dshwater