Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-02-25
NUMBER 8.
FACT AND FANCY.


to prove lucrative.
As no day is without clouds, so no fortune
is without some shadow.
However much pawnbroker's shop may be
crowded, it is always a loan sum place.
What a poor world this would be without wo-
men aud newspapers How would the news get
around2
Soft soap, in some shape, please all and, gem
orally speaking, the more lye you put into it
the better
Dobbs says he would have died of yellow fever
in August If it had't been for one thing the doc
tors gave him up.
Philadelphia man bought an ephant at auc-
tion and she tore down 5000 worth of stable for
him the first night.
man down in Maine says if he builds
house he will have folding doors, " they're SO
handy in case of funeral"
" Leave you, my friend" said a tipsy fellow,
clinging to lamp-post on dark night, leave
you in condition not to take care of yourself2
-hc-uever."
An Iowa family want to sell their sorghum
mill. Four members of the household have been
ground up in it within three years, and the sup
ply is running short.
young fop, about starting down to New Or
leans, proposed to purchase life-preserver.
''Oh, you'll not want it., suggested the clerk ;
bags of wtaa don't sink"
The burglars who have been worrying the peo-
pie of Iowa City, for several months past, turn
out to be gang of twenty boys, not one Of
whom is over sixteen years old.
1t is supposed by learned theologians, such rs
Petros Camotor, that Adam entered the Garden
! of Eden in the Spring However that may be,
! II is certain he came out in the Fall.
A German who went to hear Nilsson, says he
does not like her because she is so tall and thin.
He wants singer who looks like % fedder bed
init string tied round der middle"
Mark Twain says; I" have seen slower peo-
pie than ann and more deliberate people than
| am, and even quieter, more lstless and lazier
people than am, but they were dead"
An Indiana member of the Legislature search
ing for boarding house, aud being told that
! one meal day was not counted, engaged board
ut five hotels and takes one meal at each.
A man in Washington county, Pa, has recent
ly built Il house, the four corners of which are
each in different township, the corners of the
townships meeting in the centre of his cellar.
Frenchman brought two mugs to the milk
man in place of one, ms usual, and being ask tho
meaning of it, replied Dis vor te mich an
dis vor to water an will mix TEN 20 as soote
myself"
man in Michigan snapped his horse for
wife. An old bachelor acquaintance said he'd
bet there was something wrong with the horse,
or the owner never would have fooled 1t away in
that manner.
A Chicago hackmOn made stranger, from
whom he had taken u seven-dollar fare, believe
that policeman who stood near was the "boss"
and he would be mad if he heard about carrying
passengers so cheap.
| A curious typographical error recently occur
red in a morning paper In giving account
of an inquest, it stated that the deceased bore
an accidental character, and the jury returned u
verdict of excellent death"
A farmer at Scipio, Cayuga county, New York,
has a turkey that has laid one hundred eggs in
one hundred days, meyer missing day on ac-
count of sickness, circus, or anything.
This turkey should be granted furough.
An Iowa husband, n few months ugo, agreed
to give his wife three dollars week to main
tain comparative silence, deducting cent for
each superiluous word she uttered She now
owes him nearly enough to pay the national
debt.
A gentleman having a pony that started and
broke his wife's neck, neighbOr told him that
he wished to purchase it for his wife to ride
upon. No." says the other, I" l would not
sell the little fellow, because intend to marry
| again"
| Recently n census taker asked a servant girl
in the vicinity of Boston how many regular
steady boarders there were in the house. She
told him there fifteen boarders in all, but
not more'n four of em is steady the rest is
Dimocrats."
New Orleans bars run opposition on the size
of glasses inclosing seasonable refrgerants. A
countryman calling for julip and getting near
Il quart, drank what he wished and handed the
rest back to be kept till he was reply to drown
himself
"Mrs. Jenkins" said little CIR with a pug
nose and bare feet 81 mother says pun obge
her by lending her a stick of fir Eood, filling
her cruit with vinegar, putting Ii He soft soap
in this PAM and please not let youl turkey COB
bier roost on our fence.
Smith, looking the garden fence of his
friend Jones' late on Saturday afternoon, saw
Jones in the act of digging angle worms. Zones,
hope you are not going to break the Sabbath"
" No." replied Jones' as he drew out fat fell
low, " | expect to make whole day of it,"
As an Irishman was travelling his way to Man
chester, New Hampshire, he arrived at the forks
of the road where there stood sign-board,
which read, I" Manchester, four miles" Man
E: ; E '"' could have '''
A church-member once said to n minister who
wanted little more salary as his family in-
creased: 81 did not know you preached for
money | thought you preached for souls"
9" So do, but couldn't live on souls and if l
could, it would take good many the size OF
yours to make meal"
lady from the country who lately became
resident of the city, was very much troubled at
her son s. long absence from home the other eve-
ming A neighbor calling suggested that the
boy had gone to the elephant. "Ah," said
the mother, with a sigh of relief, "why didn't
he tell me | have no objections to his seeing
the elephant, and didn't even know it was in
town"
A physician having visited a lady during a
storm, she expressed concern at his having to
come so far in such bad weather, to which the
doctor uuluckily replied, "0h, madam, have
another patient in this neghborhood, and by
a.. ..o,aa non Lnou, I kill two birds with one