Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-23
Tbssry u. Practice.

Rev, Elijah Kellogg in his capital story,
@The epArk o. Genius. r relates this funny
incident and vouches for its truth:
The extent to which theory often fails in
oractice is furnished by venerated pro-
lessor, most distinguished matheniati-
clan. whose works are still used a. text
books In many Of our institutions, and
which occurred within the compass Of our
own experience. al
He went to Bethel; on his return he
scent the Sabbath at Lewiston Monday
morning he started. The horse went
few rods, fell down and broke both thills.
he then sent his wife home and also sent
10 Brunswick for another horse and
carriage to take him and the broken
chaise home.
When the driver came they dashed the
two vehicles together and started. All
went well till they came to the first long,
steep hill between Lewiston and Bruins
wick; on its summit they held consulsa-
ten. The professor had an exaggerated
idea of his strength, and said, " Mr..
Chandler, it is too much for the horse to
hold these two carriages on this steep
descent; take the horse out; will get into
the shafts"
Professor" replied Chandler, Z" the
breeching is strong, and SO is the arm
gith.'
much for the horse. Besides being
stronger, know how to take advantage
Of the descent, and manage it much better
than the horse"
"If the horse can't hold it, you can't
"Do you, sir, intend to place me in
point of intelligence, and knowledge of
hov knr r
made mathematics the study of life
time"
II have no intention to be disrespectful,
cir; but know that horse understands
his own business-which is handling load
On hill-better than all the professors in
the United States was sent up here by
my employer, who contides in me, to take
care of his property; If you will take the
business out OF my hands, and be the
horse yourself, you must be answerable
for the consequences"
The professor had habit when little
excited, Of giving a nervous witch at the
lapel of his coat with his right hand.
al" he replied, with most emphatic
witch, assume all responsibility"
The driver, in reality nothing 10th to
witness the operation, took out the horse
and held him by the bride; and the pro-
lessor getting into the shafts, took hold of
them at the ends. The forward carriage
was just decending the hill, and the hinder
one a little over the summit, when the
profe ssor trod upon rolling stone, which
caused him to plunge forward, and in
creased the velocity of the load SO much
that he was forced to walk faster than he
desired, and exchange the slanting posi-
ion-with his shoulders drawn well back,
and his feet brlced-which he had at first
adopted, for perpendicular one. At
length he was pushed into run the car
riages were going at a fearful rate.
At the bottom of the hill was brook !:
on each side, PERCEPTIONS banks. The
professor was between Scylla and Chary-
bis, going nine feet at a leap In order to
cramp the forward wheel he turned sud
denly to the right The shafts of the for
ward carriage went two feet into the bank,
breaking both Of them short off; the
lashings Of the hinder one slipped; it ran
into the forward one, breaking the tender |;
and both vehicles turned over doYn hill,
with tremendous crash, the learned
gentleman describing parabola-one of
his avorte fgures--and landing some rods
away. He rose from the earth dirtier
and wiser man; knees skinned, pantstorn,
piece of skin knocked Off his forehead,
and his best hat fiat as a pancake under
meath the hind carriage; and, looking
around, he exclaimed:
as it possible could have been so
much deceived as to the momentum 1t
was prodigious'
Il don't know anything about momen-
tum," replied Chandler; "but | know
something abou: horses. know it makes
a mighty difference about holding back q
load on steep hill whether the horse had
two legs or four, and whether he weighs q
hundred and seventy five or twelve hun
dred pounds"
1t cost the professor thirty-seven dollars
and fifty cents TO ascertain how much
horse power he represented.