The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-06-27
"What's the Matter with that
Nose"

DuyueT kept u Deer sdlOOn years ago
over init der Grindstone Factory on
Kensington. Snyder was a ponderous
Teuton of very irrascible temper
sudden and quick in a quarrel p
getting mad in minute. Neverthe-
less his saloon was great resort for
the boys, partly because Of the excell-
ency of his beer, and partly because
the boys liked to chafe 'old Snyder,
as they called him; for although his
bark was terrific, experience had
taught them that he wouldn't bite.
One day Snyder was missing, aud it
was explained by his frau who Jerk
ed the beer that day, that he had
gone out fishing NIT der boys The
next day one of the boys who was par
ticularly fond of roasting old Snyder,
dropped in to get a glass of beer, and
discovered Snyder's nose, which was a
big one at any time, swollen and bis
tered by the sun, until it looked like a
dead ripe tomato.
Why, Snyder, what's the matter
with your nose ? said the caller.
Il pen out fishing nit der boys re-
piled Snyder, laying his finger tender
ly against his proboscis, the sun it pees
hot like ash ter tifel, until / purns my
nose. Nice nose, don't itp And
Snyder viewed it with a look of conf
cal sadness, in the little mirror back
Of the bar.
1t entered at once into the mis-
chievous fellow in front of the bar to
play trick upon Snyder. He went
out and called half a dozen of his
comrades, with whom he arranged that
they should drop in at the saloon, one
after another, and ask Snyder, what
is the matter with that nose? to see
how long he would stand it. The
man who put up the job went in with
companion and seating themselves
at a table called for beer. Snyder
brought it to them, and the new conner
exclaimed as soon as he saw him:
why Snyder, what's the matter with
your nose?'
Il yust tell your friend, I peen out
fishing NIT der poys, unit the sun he
punt 'em-swi-lager-den cents all
right
Another of the boys came rushing
in exclaiming:
Halo, boys, you're ahead of me
this time, 'spose I'm in though. Here
Snyder, bring me glass of larger and
pret-(he appeared to catch sudden
glimpse of Snyder's nose--looking
wonderingly a moment and then burst
out laughing:)
'Ha, ha Why, Snyder, what-ha,
hal-what's the matter with that nose?'
Snyder, of course, can't see ally fun
in having burnt nose, or having 1T
laughed at, and he says, in tone
sternly emphatic:
I've peen out fishing NIT der poys,
unit de sun it yust as hot like as ter
tiful, unit | purnt my nose; dat ish all
rightY
Another tormentor comes in and
insist on setting 'em up for the whole
house. Snyder says he, ell up the
boys glasses, and take drink your
self-ho, no! ha, ha, ha Snyder,
wha-he, ha, ha whats the matter
with that nose?'
Snyder's brow darkened with wrath
by this time, and his voice grew deep
er and sterner-
peen out fishing NIT ter poys on
der Scoolkill. The sun pese hot like
as hail, unit purnt my pugle. Now,
that is more vot don't got to say.
Vot gind of pesensef Dat ish all
right; | purnt my own nose, don't it.
Burn your nose-burn all the hair
off your head for what care you
needn't get mad about it.
1t was evident Snyder wouldn't
stand more than one more tweak at
that nose for he was tramping around
behind the bar and growing like an
exasperated old bear in his cage.
Another of his tormentors walks in.
Some one sings out to him, have q
glass of beer, BillyY
Don't care about any beer says
Billy, but you may give me one of
your best segars-ha, ha, ha, hal no,
no, no! he, he ah-h.h, ha, ha, ha |!
why-why Snyder-who-wha-ha'a
ha what's the matter with your hoseP'
Snyder was absolutely fearful to be-
hold by this time. His face was pur-
pie with rage, all except his nose,
which glowed like ball of fire Lean
ing his ponderous figure far over the
bar, and raising his arm aloft to en-
phasize his words with it, he fairly
roared:
"I've peen out fishin' nit ter poys.
The sun it pese hot like hail-tamna-
tion. purnt my nose. Now, you no
like dose nose, you yust take dose nose
unit wr-Gr-wr-wring your tam Ameri-
can fingers NIT EN- That's the kind
of man vot | am i"
--S0%N--
H.