davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
Good Advice.

Spurg"on >cntentiouSly expresses a
number Of thoughts worth remem-
herring in the following appropriate
sentences, which he publishes as "ai-
vice gratis ::
Nobody is more like an honest man
than thorough rogue.
When YOU see man with great
deal If religion displayed in his shop
window, you may depend upon it he
keeps a very small stock of it within.
DO not choose your friend by his
looks; handsome shoes often pinch
the feet.
DO not be fond Of compliments re-
member "Thank you, pussy, and
thank you. pussy kill the cat. .
Don't believe the man who talks
the most for mewing cats are very
seldom good mousers.
BY no means put yourself in an
other persons power. If YOU put
Your thumb between two grinders
they are very apt to bite.
Drink nothing without seeing it.
sign nothing without reading it, and
make sure that it means nothing more
than it SAYS.
Don't 90 to law unless YOU have
nothing to lose lawyers houses are
built of fools heads.
Put no dependence on the label OF
q bag, and count money after your
own kind.
In any business never wade into
water where you cannot see bottom
See the sack open before YOU buy
what is in it. for he who trades in
the dark asks TO be chestsd.
Keep clear of a man who does not
value his own character.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
I'ccIIing ut the Girls.

\ short time ago a few Cincinnati
iuns We're on y hunting trip in ln1i-
ana. One night they found it conve-
nlcnt to put up at small country tav-
ern where the accommodations We're
somewhat limited, so much so as to
compel them all to b, n'i in one mod
crate sized room next to the roof
This being the best they could do,
they accepted the conditions without
much murmurlng, being pretty etiec-
tually tired ont with their days
tramp, and, after supper, retired
early.
About ten o'clock they were awak-
ened out of sound slulnber by great
gayety and laughter proceeding from
the adjoining room, occupied by the
landlords $ three buxom daughters
1t was evident that, AS they were re-
firing for the night, they we're having
high old frolic.
Now the hunters We're all Young
men, and it was very tantalizing to
have so much gal fun going on with
only door Intervening At length
one of the hunters whispered to the
others
"Sce there, boys, there's knot
hole in the door, and we can see all
that is going on. Heap Of fun there,
you bet.
They looked. and there sure enough.
was what appeared to be good sized
knot hole, showing the light within
he room adjoining to be very brigh
indeed.
A bold hunter crcpt cautiously ont
of bed and applied his eye to the
knot hole, but was astonishcd to find
he could see nothing.
As he put his head down to look,
the knot hole seemed to disappear.
stepping back a pace or tw" there
was the knot-hole again.
What did YOU see - inquired one
of the hunters, who was trembling
with curiosity in bed.
Didn't see anything y was the re-
ply. "They either took the knot
hole away or plugged it up
Then another hunter tried it with
like effect. As he stopped to steal a
glance at unconscious maldenhood on
a frolic, the knot hole vamosed.-
They were greatly puzzled, until one
Of them cried out
See there, boys look at the roof !
They looked, and the mystery was
solved. There was knot-hole in
tho board roofing through which the
moon was shining, the light falling
upon the door so as to produce the H.
lusion described. The hunters slept
better after this discovery.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
Paying the Printer.

There are people Of every civilized
country under the sun who have mis-
taken ideas about the business of
printing and the manufacture Of news
papers. They believe that newspa-
per can exist, thrive and flourish on
itself, without any external aid, on
the principle on which the bear man
ages to tide over the cold weather,
Understanding sustenance or board.
Many of the people Of Canada labor
under this strange idea, hence it
comes that some of our brethren Of
the provincial press are driven half
yearly to dun and clamor for what is
due them and to browbeat readers
who believe that they can read their
paper without money and without
price. Our brother of the Allison
Star, of the Goth ult., makes an appeal
ad m,Ssricordtam, which is q fair sam
pie of what printers are driven to by
the wanton neglect and carelessnesS
of those whom they faithfully serve.
He says: 1--WE want money and must
have it. From the date Of our com
mencement to the present, We have
not urged upon our subscribers or ad-
vcrtis RS the necessity of paving up.
There is an end to all things, and We
find that the time has arrived when
We cannot refrain from asking for
what should have been paid long
since. Printers, like other people,
require money. We have larg"
weekly outlay in the way of wages,
paper, ink, &c. We therefore trust
this hint may be sufficient" Every
straightforward man will admit that
there is something desperately wi3ked
in the system which compel- decent
man to turn bumbaliii and throw out
such vivid hints and insinuations as
the above. Every st. ,ight forward man
will admit, also, that the parties WHO
are the cause Of such transforma-
tion are guilty Of uncEarltahleness,
but downright dishonesty, and should
be plarard-d as swlndlerS of the poor
and needy. The printer ought to be
the last man in the world subjected
to gouging His profits are small
for wears often invisible he has then
to toll early and late, to slave often
when men are at rest to steer his bark
through a multitude Of abuse which,
if iustlce were done, should fall on
other shoulders, and-bcsides doing
all ths-he must never lose sight of
the interest. of his readers, nor cease
to push them forward with might and
main. 7oronto Telegraph.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
A SUCCESSFUL CALIFORNIAN.


Mr.. Alonzo Hayward, of Sanfran-
cisco, is represented as kind of CAL
ifornia Monte Cristo. He is Yer
monter by birth went to the Golden
State many years ago made consid-
cradle money ; invested it in a piece
Of mining land, which promised we'll
but yielded nothing. Hayward spent
all his means, and then borrowed Of
a former partner, who had retired
from the discouraging enterprise in
disgust, all the money, $4,000, the
eood-hearted fellow had in the world.
Hayward had hope through every
adverse circumstance, and went on
with his work until his laborers We're
reduced to a bag of beans and his last
penny was exhausted. Then, at last,
he reached the precious ore, and OBJ
tanned the first product Of the famous
Amador mine, the richest on the
globe. When the mine was paying
$4,000 month, Hayward, in graft
tude, made over to his partner and
friend half the mine. His partner
retired afterward with $2,000,O0O
and Hayward, weary of growing rich
sold it to y stock company. The
Amador, will yield T5OO,OoO net this
year.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
The Death Of Socrates.

Socrates alone retained his calm
ness. What is this strange outcry ?
he said. ! sent away the women
mainly in order that they might not
offend in this way, for have heard
that u man should die in peace. Be
quiet then, and have PATIENCE
When we heard that, we were ashamed,
and refrained our tears; and he
walked about until, as he said, his
legs began to fail, and then he lay on
his back, according to the directions,
and the man who gave him the poi
son now and then looked at his feet
and legs and after a while he pres
sed his foot hard, and asked him if he
could feel, and he said, No and then
his leg, and so upwards and upwards,
and showed us that he was cold and
stiff. And he felt them himself, and
said, when the poison reaches the
heart that will be the end. He was
beginning to grow cold about the
groin, when he uncovered his face,
for he had covered himself up, and
said (they wore his last words) he
said, Critic, | owe cock to Asclepius,
will you remember to pay the debt :?
The debt shall be paid, said Critic !;
is there anything else ? There was no
answer to this question; but in min
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
Sitting Oh Eggs.

We put the eggs safely in our coat
tail pocket. and walked cautious "
1t recalled a piece of disreputable
carcles.ncss on our fathers part, who
once sat down on q dozen eggs, and
went up as if every egg was bomb,
and every bomb in explosion. But
then he was a VIGOROUSLY absent
minded man. His very example was
our safety. And yet, we dwelt with
some inward mirth, as we walked to
the house, on the ludicrous figure
which our father cut. Dinner was
spread as we came in. Some question
came up which diverted our thought
from the discovery of the nest-in-
deed, we had forgotten We had eggs
about US, and drew to the table and
sat down with alacrity which was on
" cqualcd by the spring with which
we got up. "Gracious T. "Why, what
is the natter" Matter enough
Are YOU sick?' DO let drew my
hand from my pocket, streaming with
liquid chicken, never to be born, and
the disgusting secret was out. That
woman was y saint. My pockets were
duly cleansed, without one cutting
word. l can imagine the process, but
| never like to dwell upon it. Would
YOU believe it, the same thing hap
pened in n few weeks again? 1t did,
and to the very same person. But
never since--no, never! From that
dav to this we do not remember ever
to have taken an egg from a nest.
|. When | see man who allows
himself to be pulled and tlattered, !
know that his time will come when
he will sit down on his eggs,
2. When ! see men who are rob-
bing right and left, and filling their
pockets with unlawful wealth which
other men earned, | say, "Iou will
sit on those eggs yet
8. When over-cunning men think
that they can outwit all their fellows,
and are exulting at the success which
their shrewdness has achieved, | say
to myself, "Fill your pockets! BY
and by you will sit down on those
eggs ,"-Henry Ward Bceehe',
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
CITY III O Il Il l.,
EREDERLCE CITY. MARYLAND,

F. B. CARLIN, Proprietor.
THIS popular and we'll known Hotel.
having been thorougly renovated, otirls
many advantages to the travelling public
The exterior of the Hotel, which is now
four stories. presents beautiful appear
ancc, and will compare favorably with al!
structure of the kind in the State Tho cl.
tire arrangements of the Hotel are in keep.
ing with its outward appearance, and Is
supplied with every modern improvement
and convenience. and has been newly fur
nishcd throughout at very heavy cost. No
pains or expenses will be omitted TO pro
mote the comfort of guests.
The cnviabe reputation the Hotel has
acquired since the undersigned has taken
charge of it. furnishes the most satisfactor!
evidence of his ability to please all who
may favor him with their patronage.
There is attached to the Hotel q spacious
Billiard Room. newly fitted up, Barber
Shop. Bath House, &c.
Attentive and polite servants will always
be in attendance to wait upon guests during
the day or at any hour Of the night.
Respectfully.
FRANK b. CARLIN,
.pl 15-ly Proprietor.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
A NGOF SEPTEMBER

September strcws the woodland o'cr
With many brilliant color:
The world is Brighter than before
Why should our hearts be dullers
Sorrow and the scarlet leaf,
Sad thoughts and sunny weather,
All me the glory and the grief
Agree not we'll together.
This is the parting season-this
The time when friends are flying:
And lovers now, with many a kiss,
Their long farewells are signing.
Why is earth so gayly drest?
This pOmp that autumn beareth;
A funeral seems, where every guest
A bridal garment weareth.
Each one Of uE, pcrchancc, may here,
On some blue morn hereafter
Return to view the gaudy year,
But not with boyish laughter;
We shall then be wrinklcd men,
Our brows with silver laden,
And then this glec may'st seek again,
But never more q maiden
Nature, perhaps, forcsccs that spring
Will touch her tecming bosom,
And that few brief months will bring
The bird, the bee, the blossom.
All! these forests do not know
Or would less brightly wither-
The virgin that adorns them so,
Will never more come hither.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
ea .NhN- tUNFECYION.1H1 y
" H1Tk; III ALL
.xs IN FULL BLAST! &,

.r,,, .--,,.,;., ,I -, Nv,
NE m'lierH'snri ,l;,S Jus, "l'rn'" =. '' w.
New hn'i''!S, III ~. "lLI'. -, '",'v' m:,
~ HrI''n an" f-''' S'i'c'S' "e"' ''' '"''''
T'al DeF"'
.Ntrhanirst"sh, Fy<drrirh c""nty Md,
a LARGE and fnl] yunply of Candies, Nuts
<,y,,,yrs Raisins t'irS Cakes. Pies. Chin
beef Cheese Bolorna Sau,arrs. Cracker
of every kind known in 1hr world ,-3ut,
ter. soda, Pilot. Sugar. Baltimore. Chc>;.-
n,a,c Milk Oyster Crackers and Graham
WATERS. The most delicate and finely
n,vnrr,} cruk,rs in th, I-nitcd SIa,rs,-
And will constantly keen ON hand, To hr
SOL WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. =
fresh AMI clryan, assortment nf every
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
TOwN Authorities.

Comm,xxjoaers:
VAN b. OSLER, President of the Board
Van B Oslcr, Geo. W. Foreman,
T J,hn r Rouzcr. Geo. w StockSdalc
Chambers J. Crrcgrr.
Reuben Oslrr Justice Of the Peace; Iii
ram Arthur, Constable.
THE CnrRCHES.
st. Johu's Er"M.9cltcol L~tt~r@n-Rcv. J
Summers, Pastor
R.Jormed Clpplts) s)-lscv. NE. Gilds, Pas
tor.
ini,sd Brethren-Rcv. John X. Nelson
Pastor.
.NethodM Ephropal - Rev. Thomas J
Cross, Pastor Residence, diminishing.
Cntholm-Rcv. Father John McCloskcy
Pastor.
Prote&tant EpimopM CA~rch-Rcv.Jamc:
j. Avirc,t, Rector, Catoctin Furnace ant
Mechancstown.
ODD FELLOWS HALL.
Main Sr,et-John A. Flcagcl, Noble
GOOD TEMPLARs.
DAVID c. MARTIN is the right Worthy
Chief Of the Order of Good Tcmplars.
TIE MAILS.
The mail for Baltimore daily (cNccp'
Sunday, leaves this place every afternoon
10y the ;s20 train. -,
The stage for Frederick, with the mail
leaves here every Tuesday, Thursday anc
Saturday mornings.
The stage for Emmittsburg, with the
mail, leaves every day Immediately after
the arrival of the 1907 train from Balti
more
The mail for Sahillaavillc leaves here or
horseback every Tuesday, Thursday anc
Sa' 'Uday
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30

Who makes the bed Of the ocean "
What an unlucky sulter did-He
wooed and she wouldn't. He coocd
and she couldn't
Balloonists don't care about max
ing much money. If they can only
ascent they are satisfied.
Nilsson has sung one hundred
niphts in America, and she has made
one m hundred thousand dollars by it.
Can q no nelly woman with Gre
clan bend be accurately described az
an inclined plane
The University of Berlin numbers
one hundred and seventy-three pro-
fessors and other teachers at present.
The man who sat down on an open
paper of carpet nails said they re-
minded him of the income-tax.
A newspaper advertisement call'
for q plain cook, able to dress little
boy five years old.
Two women are partners in the
lawbusiness in Kansas. They are
sisters-in-law.
Letter go?" as the boy said when
he lamb-pcsted his letter at the street
corner.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
sCATOCTIN CLARION
A WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

N W NA w ~ AAA ANA'
Containing Il carefully prepared abstract
Of the News of the Day; Historical
sketch of Past Events in Frederick county;
Foreign and Domestic clntcligcncc; Topics
of the Times; carefully prepared Markets.
items of Interest, political or otherwise !.
Local Intelligence, and a rare selection OF
instructive Reading.
TEnMs--$1 so in advance; +: 90 at the
end of the year.
eE" Single copics---5 cents.
RATES or ADVERTISING.
Transient Advertisements to be paid for
Invariably in advance.
One Square, four insertions or less 81 %
-" each subsequent inscr. 80
:" two months : 90
three months: 3 80
six months 90
one year w
Twelve lines constitute q Sq,larc.
sE" \ liberal deduction made to yearly
advertisers.
~ Local or special notices fifteen ct"t'
line,
JOB PRINTING executed will, neat
ness and dispatch, and on liberal TERMS
Materials all new and Il good impression
guaranteed.
job Work-CASu on DELIVERY.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
Just Their Way.
Come back sir, come back sir,
Rccollect from to-day
When I tell you to leave me
moan Won tO stav"

J
mean you to stay
That's so, who ever knew girl
nova a-days to say what she meant
Keep company with them whole
year upon a stretch, then ask them to
have you and see how'll they act
Ten chances to one if they don't open
their blue eyes in astonishment at
what they term your presumption,
and ask you what in the world you
mean" Why they never thought of
such thing as marrying not they,
why what ever put such a prepos-
ferrous idea into your head y what
had they ever done to allow you for
moment to suppose they cared a
whit more for you than they did for
Mr.. Smith over the way or Mr.. Jones
around the corner, and yet mark my
word if YOU are green enough to still
persist in your suit, it will not be
long before they will tell you with
seeming reluctance, that they will
tNlUh aDOuI VIC ludllcl, "hSh IA ~ "&Ai
they had thought Of nothing else for
at least six months and wondered
when you would offer yourself, call.
ing you in their hearts "a slow catch.
After they had kept you on tender
hooks until you have become tired,
and you have about made up your
mind to let them 60 and devote your
self to other fair one, and conclude
YOU will ask them just once more,
they will simper out "yts" with as
innocent an air as possible.
Now in Bible days it was nj so, not
a bit of it, Then, a woman $ conduct
was All index of her heart, when for
instance the Father of Rebecca asked
her if she would 60 with the servant
of Isaac She replied at once, II will
90" Had she been Il daughter Of
the nineteenth century, she would Of
said "Oh pshaw 60 with him,
"whatll 60 with him for? Why
no, Isaac must be sick Go with
him why Of course ! won't = And
then, she would have gone with hlm,
Oh these girls
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30

BEA MAS-Foolish spending is
the father of poverty. DO not be
ashamed Of work, nor of hard work
Work for the best salary or wages
You can get, but work for half price
rather than be idle. Be your own
and do no let society or fash
ion swallow up your individuality
hat, coat and boots. Do not eat up
or wear out all that you earn. Com
pei your selfish body to spare some
thing for profits saved. BE stingy to
your own appetite, but merciful to
others necessities. Help others, and
ask no help for yourself See that
YOU are proud. Let your pride be
of the right kind. BE too proud to
be lazy too proud to give up with
out conquering every difficulty, too
proud to wear coat that YOU cannot
afford to buy, too proud to be in com
pany that YOU cannot keep up in ex-
pcnses too proud to lie, or steal, or
cheat; too proud to be Stingy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
THE BONNY HANDS THAT MAKE
GOOD BREAD.

By JOHN 4. ATTCHESON.
I own the charms of rounded arms,
OF ewes that loves soft lustcr shed,
OF raven hair, and trcsses fair,
OF checks that coy with white and red;
OF pouting lips where Cupid dips
The arrows that to hearts are spec
Yet, none Of those my fancy please
Like the hmnny hands that make good
bread.
Some hands have art to move the heart,
BY waking music's sweet appeal;
Some borrow dyes from perfect skies,
And, through the canvas, make us feel;
Some make the dress fair forms carcss
To win tho heart and turn the head;
For me, more rare beyond compare
Are the honny hands that make good
bread.
Cav maiden, vain the ruStling train,
In SC jrwClcd hands 50 idly crossed,
I nat ldlcr mind can pleasure find
In every hour ignobly lost!
Your Jewels shine your looks arc fine,
But I'll not seek, whcnc'cr wed,
For jewccd hands, or gold and lands:
But for bonny hands that make good
bread.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
4 Lawyer Among Cows.

what he don't know amt worth
pumpkins" and whose home amt a
thousand miles from the Pine Tree
State, was a great favcrite with the
late Judge Cranch, Once visiting
the Judge, the latter invited him to
walk over his premises. Among 9th
cr places they visited the barn yard,
and the squire Was struck with admi-
ration as he gazed upon the noble
herd of COWS which had just been
driven up for milking He talked as
elalorately Of their good points as
would a tirst-rate good stock breeder;
when the fact was he knew next t"
nothing about stock, and some Of the
good points which he spoke Of caused
the Judge hearty laugh--in his
sleeve.
"Wcll," said the Judge, (which Of
the cows will YOU take -
(Which will take Your honor :''
>.id the Squire, not knowing tk.
Judges meaning.
"lrs, which will you take | ain
going to max" yon a present Of one Of
which shall it he ?"
"Rcallv, Your honor. this i. unex-
pectrI will not object to the pres
rnt, hut had rather Your honor would
make the selection, as receivers
should not be choo>erS.
If you accept this present YOU
must make the selection. Being a
good judye Of stock, YOU will not b,
likely to cheat YOURSELF. And the
eccentric Judge smiled to himself.
, The Squire rubbed hi. gold-howed
SpcctacleS, and began to view the
cows with a critics precision. After
much scrutinizing he SAID :
Il arrelend your honor, you would
not like to part with that very fat
,horthorned, thick -nrckel COW ~
II have no choice" make your Sc.
lection, said the Judge, his risibles
hardly rontrollablc.
Il don t want to rob vou Of youl
tavoritc COW. but if YOU have II,
choice, | should prefer the very fat
one she has many good ),o'"ts.
mo tavorte--no robbery at all
the fat cow is yours. My man vii
drive her to your house without milk
ing.
The delighted Squire hasteneG
home to inform his wife. In about
an hour hc saw the "f:.ttcSt and the
best COW in the village" as he STYLED
her driven into his yard, aud DIES
patched a sable daughter Of Africa te
milk her In few minutes in came
ebony. giggling and laughing. Squire
Wick knew something waS to pay
and what he could not con ure.-
There stood Dinah, "round up viii
laughter, the empty pail dangling b.
her side.
"What on earth i, to pay, Dinah !"
inquired the Squire.
20 masya, for muffin. only-ki-ki,
XII, iii, he-he- -hc-c-e-e
The Squire looked at his wfe->ht
at hin-then both at Dinah, who had
'conniptioned" with laughter, and
settled down by the door, her fac,
covered with her apron, and hel
laughing machinery shaking her side
at tremendous rate.
The 'Squire's mad riz.
"Dnah, said he, at the top Of his
voice, "tell me what's to pay. or Ill
throw you out Of the house.
Dinah rose and mastered herself
long enough to say, 20 lor, massa
muffin, only dat cow Of yourn 80
oeo,u,en cor p and then fell into
another fit of laughter.
If you know how chop-fallen man
looks, a portrait Of Squire Wick's
countenance would be supertluous.-
The way that very fat, short horned
COW" walked back to the yard Of
Judge Cranch wasn't slow, and the
way the Judge shook his sides was a
caution to critics.
Mrs Apnes Leonard Scanlunl has
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
A wealthy bachelor, having had

A wealthy bachelor, having had
one or two law suits for breach of
promise, now replies to any young
lady who wishes few minutes pri-
vate conversation mo you don't,
madam. 1t cuts Inc to the heart to
be compelled to doubt the honorable
ness of your intentions, but that sort
Of thing is played out. My rule Is
imperative and if You have any
business with me, it must be trans
acted in the presence of two wit
ncsses
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30
aI,l l5-ly

Doesn't this lovely scene animat'
YOU = asked Anna Of her lover. No.
said he, nothing but YOU can Anna
mate me. Oh, say yes, my darling.
She did say YES, and his cup of ami
nation was full.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1871-09-30

4 Dutchman married a second wife
in about week after the death Of
No. l. The Sabbath ensuing, tn"
bride asked her lord to take her RI
ding, and was duly "cut up" with the
following response : "Iou tink / ride
out wild anoder woman SO soon after
the death of my frau =? No, no !!