The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1871-10-19
SCRAPS.

press.
The woman who marrics fora home
is said to pay the highest price for
real estate.
A Massachusetts psychologist has
mesmerized an inebriate out of his
appetite for liquor.
When you leave church after we'd
ding ceremony you should be said to
be going out with the tide:
What was the proyerb that King
Lear heard from his two daughters?
$50, father, and fare worse"
Some peolle say that dark-haired
women marry soonest. We differ;
it is the light-headed ones.
Josh Billings say "Never work be-
fore breakfast. If it is necessary to
toll before breakfast, eat your break
fast first" "
An Indiana groom was nincty-one
and the bride 10G. They were mar
ried, without the consent Of their
parents. ,.. !
What evidence is there that there
was bear in the ark? The kangaroo
was seen to go in with hops, and bruin
soon followed.
"The prisoner has very smooth
countenancc." eyes; he was ironeG
just before he was brought in. That
accounts for it, 80.
Married people should study each
others weak points, as the skaters
look out for the weak parts Of the
ice in order to keep them off.
The feminine heavy swell Of the
period now wears her chignon in
waves that come over the combings.
This joke, is Of naughty:gal char
acter. s
Henry Ward Beecher thinks that
the weather has much to do with u
man religion, as many people pray
during o thunderstorm who never
think of it ON q sunshiny day.
A man being annoyed on one occa-
sion by a fiddle, who persisted in play
sing,in. front of his house, sent him
out Mollar, with the message that
one scrapsr at the door was enough.
eThat'smy business !" as the butcher
said to the dog that was killing his
sheep. ...a ....
If sailor is shot at, if hit at all, he
would doubtless prefer to be hit in the
chest.
A Berkshire papa observed to his
daughters beau: "Jim /! if you want
Lu you can have her; but don't
want you hanging around here unless
you mean business. If you intend to
marry her, hurry up, for I can't be
kept awake nights much longer
Saratoga girls arc organizing an an
ti-kissing society. Recently the rules
of the society imposed a fine of one
dollar for each kiss bestowed on the
masculine gender. AT the end Of
week some Of those girls were actual
ly indebted to the society in sums
ranging from SIS to SIS. The associa-
tion will disband.
The proprietor of becr-garden1
and billiard-saloon in Cincinnati was
brought before the police-court for
keeping his place open on Sunday, but
the court held that, inasmuch rs he
was an Isrealite who faithfully OBJ
served the seventh day Of the week
as the Sabbath, no conviction could
be had under the statutes.
Signor Tamberlik, a good opera
singer, who is at present performing
in the city Of Mexico, was recently
called before the curtain twenty times,
and received 5000 bouquets. After
the performance was over his carriage
was dragged to his hotel by the pop
ulace.
1t is now stated that the name Of
our entcrprising countryman who is
anxious to rebuild the Tuillercs at
his own cost, subject to. some trfling
conditions, is Mr.. Harris Fosler.
His architects estimates amount to
sl,55o,0O0.
An Oswcgo resident found somo
thing offensive in his last dozen of|
eggs. ard took the dealer to task
What is tho matter with them ?"
asked that individual. "They amt
good. was the reply. '"Well, that
amt 10 be wondered at" was the
apologetical rejoinder, "hens are so
drove now they amt expected to be |
as particular as usual!"'
Mrs. H., young mother. was ex.
hibiting, with considerable pride, to
aa.number Of admiring friends, her
first baby. Finally, approaching lit
tie Dan, a boy of five years. the hap
py parent said, "Dan, isn't this dear
little baby ?'' Dan hesitated a mo-
ment, turned up his eyes. and answer
ed, eyes, only it's bald headed.
Somebody asked Mrs. Stanton
whether girls could standEa college
course of study. That lady in reply !
said, %l would like to see you take
1906 young men and lace them up,
and hang ten to twenty pounds
weight of clothes on their waist,
perch them up on threo-inch heels,
cover their heads with ripples, CHG
mons, rats and mice, and stick ten
thousand hair-pins into their scalps
if they can stand all this they can
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