The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-11-22
smith on lhe Vvarpath.

Newspaper writers viii thoroughly appreciate
the following Ger true tale, which we take from
the Philadelphia Dispatch:
"a week or two ago our reporters had occasion
to refer to a certain WOmaI, whom we will call
Hannah Smith. as donizsn Of the Eleventh
Ward. A day or two afterwards, huge man
entered the Office his brow clothed with thunder
in his hands he carried fearful club. and at his
side trotted a bulldog. whom hunger had evi-
IDENTIFY made desperate With that quick appre-
citation Of the situation which Is creditabls to the
superior intelligence Of educated men, the editor
Of this paper and the proprietors darted to the
window, climbed outside, slid down the lightning
rod, and went across the street to watch the fray
through spy-gass. With the fearlessness Of
conscious innocence we sat STILL merely inserting
our legs in two sections Of stOvepipe. to guard
against any Misrepresentation Of facts on the part
of the bulldog The man with the club aP-
preached.
"Are you the editor ?" he asked, splitting on
bis hand and grasping bis club.
We told him the editor was out that be had
gone to the North Pole with Capt Hall, and he
would not return before 1876, in time for the
centennial celebration.
a" Are you the ProprietOrr" asked the man.
We explained to him that we were not, that the
proprietOrs were out that they bad gone to
South America for the purpose Of investigating
the curative properties Of cundurango, and they
expected to remain several wears
Well, whoever you are" exclaimed the war
riOr, my name Is Smith r.
We told him we we're glad because. II there
was anything better than the possession Of the
name Of Smith, it was the privilege Of knowing
man by that name.
But, Smith" we said, why this battle array
1t is absurd for a man to put on the panoply Of
war. and frisk into editors sanctums fumbIiug
club and accompanied BY disheaTtsning bull
dog, simply because his name happens to bo
Smith"
He said he called to burst the head Of the man
who had insulted bis sister.
" 1t is impossible, Smith, that such thing
could have been done by anyone in this Office"
"Is2 but it was, though, and her name was
published, too-Mis5 Smith, Miss Hammer Smith
" May we be permitted 10 inquire what was
the precise character Of the affront offered 10
Hannah"
"WsIl, you see" said Mr. Smith, the black
guard said she was a deuizen. And / want you
to understand" exclaimed Smith, becoming ex-
cited, and brandisbing bis club iu wild manner
over our head, while the bulldog advanced and
commenced to sniff up and down our siove-pipe.
% want you to understand she is a decent
Toung woman, with good character and mono
II your denizens aud such truck. The man who
ays she is deuizen is bIaekguard and a thief.
md Ill smash him over the ncss IL get
hance. They may say what they please about
pc, but the man who abuses my sister has got to
ufFer." And Smith struck the table in violent
manner with bis club. while the bulldog pus his
orefeet on the back Of our chair.
We pacifed Smith with dictionary. We
'ointed out to that raging warrior that the Web
terian definition OF the word denizen" rives
uch person an unoHendiug character, ane de-
rives the term OF everything like reprcaeh.
'mith said be was satisfied. shook hands. and
licked the bulldog down stairs. The editors and
roPHetors seeing all safe. Immediately elinbed
be ligttniDg-rod and soon appeared at the 4in-
OWs, where they we're introduced 70 Smith, silh
he remark that they bad returned from the
forth Pole and the cline Of cundurango some
hat Unexpectedly, in order 10 surprise their
sIatiO1s- And now we suppose Smith will be
ad because We have told this story about him,
I'd he will be coming dOEu 10 interview us in
ar's magnificent array, with fresh bulldog.
ut it will be in vain. We have rented an
ice in the top Of the shottower, and have
anted torPedoes and springs all The way up-
airs. We warn this inesndiary Smith 70
ware.