Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-07-14
HunnOr.

Court. plaster-kisses,
Brakeman--baggage smashers.
A bad omen-to owe men money.
What dress is most durable-a habit.
Back door bellss-prctty servant maids.
Song of gold hunter-'My happiness
is ORE
He that is hasty fishes in an empty
pond.
Gain, gotten with an i'll name is real
loss.
He is idle who might be better en-
ployed.
He who SONS brambles must not 60 bare
footed.
A lady in this city says the latest thing
out is-her husband.
A man whom we can put up with-a good
hotel-keeper.
When woman gets her back up she
won't back down.
Out of sight, out of mind, as the mad
wag said when he saw blind Lunatlc
It is not always he who has the most nose
who knows the most.
No class put more real feeling in their
vocation than pick pockets.
Why is love like Scotch plaid? Because
it is all stuff, and often crossed.
A good tonic for debilitated young ladies
iron. A better tonic, ironing.
To what bird may bride be most appro-
priately compared? A ring dove.
The young lady who is unable to sup
port riding habit, should get into walk
ing habit.
A kiss is the aims which enriches him
who receives without impoverishing her who
gives.
Whatever Midas touched turned into gold.
In these days, touch man with gold and
he'll turn into anything
What is the difference between mother
and barber? The latter has razors to shave
and the former has shavers to raise.
What's the difference between a honey
comband honey moon? One consists Of
number of small cells the other of one
great sell
A person hearing that time is money be-
came DESTROYS of learning how many years
it would take ito pay little debt Of a hun
bred dollars
A lady remarked on very ignorant man.
who was complimented on his good sense,
He ought to have great stock of good
sense, for he never spends any
A Toledo druggist had his name taken off
Petition for street improvement when
be learned that such would improve the
health of the neighborhood.
Franklin, on hearing the remark, that
what was lost on earth went to the moon,
asserted that there must be deal of good
advice accumulated there.
Among the wants 10 one Of the papers
is this: Partial board for a single gentle
man; house kept by widow and daughter,
buses and cars convenient.
An economical lady says that in these
hard times, it would be we'll to remember
that good silk ought to be like worm
when troddcn upon-it will turn.
Fifty six students of the University of
Michigan who 'bolted' recitation to visit a
travelling menagerie have been suspended.
This is paying dear for seeing the elephant.
A lady being asked whether she could
keep secret, replied: "Of course not;
what is the good Of knowing secret un-
less you may Immediately tell it to some
body else"
A young lady at Indianola not very long
since killed skunk with a butcher knife.
Her lover came to see her that night and
told her he could not marry her unless she
quit using such hair oil.
Sam said one little urchin to another,
'does your schoolmaster ever give you any
reward Of merit?' L s'pose he does,' was
the reply; She givos me thrashing every
day, and says merit two
The heart is the best card in the chance
game of matrimony overcome
by diamoads and knaves, often won by
tricks, and occasionally treated in shutting
manner, and then cut altogether, says wo-
man.
A school committee in frontier district
are reported to have summed up their
opinion Of an examination which they had
attended by making to the pupils this ad-
dress: You've spelled we'll. and you've ci-
phered good, but you amt SGT still
CLARA, I love but thee alone thus
sighed the tender youth oh, hear me,
then, my passion own With trembling lips
and earnest tone. Indeed speak the truth. ,
He paused-the blush o'erspread her cheek;
she let him draw her near; scarce for emo
sLor .,-alz Al aho arlx In