The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1871-09-30

until she got too proud to speak to
me.n
\ clergyman conSolinga a widow on
the death of her husband, remarked
that she could not find his equal. II
don't know about that replied the
sobbing fair one, but I'll try
" Patrick" said a lady to a slip of
green Erin who was officiating in the
kitchen, "where is Bridget ?" ain
deed ma'am she's fast asleep looking
at the bread baking.'
An exchange, wanting to compli-
ment a "live stock Journal says it
is edited by man whose head is
chock full of live stock. Doubtful
compliment.
A Warsaw reporter saw a wax
among the wives and widows of War
saw, and remarks that "Of all the
wars we ever saw, we never saw q
war like the war we saw among the
wives and widows of Warsaw
y young lady, at an examination
in grammar, was asked why the noun
" bachelor was singular? She re-
piled Immediately, with much mai
vcte, " "Because it is very singular
they don't get married.
-~~~
\ Young lady in Richmond COM
mencpd crying on the Sd of last
month, and has not stopped yet;
her father says she can howl for
ever, but she'll get no so cents out
OF him to buy hustle.
-~S~
a grass widow in "York Staten
has sued for divorce, alleging mar
riage under false pretences as d
ground for it. Shades of courtship!
Does she suppose there was ever a
marriage OF any other sort
" | say Pompey,' said one freed
man to another, "dis chile has tried
lots oh gift fares and tings for q
prize, but ncbber could draw any
thing at ALL" "N'ell Caesar, I'd wise
you to try a hand d-cart de chances
are a tOusand to one dat you could
draw dat
The following speech is attributed
to a member of the Legislature Of
Pennsylvania " | know wimen Mr..
Speaker: | say it in no disrespect !;
[ know'em | have had a heap to do
with'em. They'er a useful class, and
yet with the best of 'em you may
have trouble.'
For specimen of logical consecu-
ton of IDEAS we venture to commend
this, from schoolboy's composition:
"Tobacco was invented by a man
named Walter Raleigh. When the
people first saw him smoking they
thought he was a steamboat, and, as
they had never seen steamboat,
they were frightened"
JACKS LITTLE FILLY.-" Pa. I
know what is tilibuster?" " Well,
Johnny, what is a tilibustcr 2" "It
is green clover" "Green what ?"
Green clover. because when uncle
Jacks little tilly toundered herself,
he said a little more of the green
clover: would a busted her; and if it
had, wouldn'tit a been q fllybuster 9'
go to bed, child; go to bed"
Mr.. Lincoln was exceedingly as
tonishcd one day, as he was inspect
ing the prison in Washington, by q
prisoner who said to him: GLOW are
you, Mr.. President | am glad to
see you. I believe that you and I
have been in every jail in the Union"
"This and the jail in Springfield are
the only ones | was ever in in my
life" said Mr.. Lincoln. Every like
! ly,' responded the rogue, "but I've
| been in all the rest
An editor out West, who thought
the wages demanded'by compositors
was an imposition discharged his
hands, and intends doing his own
type setting in the future. He says:
OWING TO the eXoRbiTant WggEs
dEmAndeD by prlnleRs haze Con
Cluded TO do oURoWn typo sEtt1nG
in Tue fUTu1 o.; AnE aLThouGH
WE norer 1Ea.meD Tue BusIness' ace
DO Not See any gRe0T mystery in
t-e art.
One vote was lost by the Demo
Gratis in California thus: With consi-
derable trouble the voter deciphered
a poster announcing that certain can
didates would address the inhabi-
tants Of Gilroy and vicinity, and after
a moments deep meditation exclaim-
ed, "Vicinity! Whar's vicinity 2 I've
lived hyarabouts nigh unto fifteen
years, an thar amt no such place :;
an any party what don't know the
geography of the country better nor
that, can't get my vote.'
A GOOD ONE FOR SMOKERs.-An
aged negress whose piety had secur-
ed for her an extensive reputation,
in walking her usual round of visits
dropped in upon a neighbor who was
equally we'll known as temperance
man and hater of tobacco.
After being courteously received
the negress pulled from her pocket a