davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
7-3O GOLD LOAN.
Northern Pacific Railroad Co.
RApIn pnonpr-S or TILL, ,rnnr


The building Of the Northern Pacific Railroad,
(begun July last), is being pushed forward with
great energy from both extremities of the line.
Several thousand men are employed in Minnesota
and on the Pacific coast. The grade is nearly
completed 266 miles westward from Lake Super
ior; trains are running over 1870 miles of finished
road, and track-laying is rapidly progressing tow
ard the eastern border of Dakota. Including its
purchase of the St. Paul Pacific road, the North
ern Pacific Company now has 4l3 miles of compile
ted road, and by September next this will be in
creased to at least SEQ
GooD ISvEsrMESr.-Jay Cooke 4 Co., are
now selling, and unhesitatingly recommend, as a
Profitable and perfectly safe investment, the First
Mortgage Land Grant Gold Bonds of the Northern
Pacific Railroad Company. They have 80 years
to run, bear Seven and Three-Tenths per cent gold
interest (more than per cent. currency and are
secured by first and only mortgage on the ENTIRE
road and its equipments, and also, as fast as the
Read is completed
% 900 ACRES OF LAND to every mile of track on
500 Acres for each $4,000 Bond They are exempt
from u 5. Tax Principal and Interest are paya-
Bile in Gold; Denominations; Coupons, 500 to
$1,000; Registered, 500 to 81, 900.
LAND FOR BoYps.-Northern Pacific 1905 are
at all times receivable at TEN PER-cESs. above par
in exchange for the Companys Lands, at theii
lowest cash price. This renders them practically
Interest Bearing Land Warrants.
| SINKING tuND.-Ihe proceeds of all sales OF
Lands are required to be devoted to the re-pur-
chase and cancellation of the first Mortgage Bonds
of the Company. The Land Grant of the Road
exceeds Fifty Million Acres. This immense Sink
ing Fund will undoubtedly cancel the principal OF
the Company's bonded debt before it falls due.
With their ample security and high rate of inter
est there is no investment accessible to the people
which is more profitable or Safe.
EXCHANGING u. ;. HyE-TwESrIEs.-The sue
cess of the New Government per cent. Loan will
compel the early surrender of United States per
cents. Many holders of Fiye-twenties are now
exchanging them for Northern Pacific Seven-thr-
ties, thus realizing handsome profit, and great
| ly increasing their yearly income
OTHER SEcuRITEs.-All marketable Stocks and
Bonds will be received at their highest current
price in exchange for Northern Pacific Seven
thirties. Express charges on Money or Bonds re-
ceived, and on Seven-thrtes sent in return, will
be paid by the Financial Agents. Full informa
ton, maps pamphlets etc, can be obtained at any
agency, or from the undersigned. For Sale by
JAY COOKE 4 CO.,
Philadelphia, New York, Washington,
Financial Agents Northern Pacific Railroad Co.
By Banks and Bankers g'HGaHy throughout n.
! Counfpy. Aims
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
SHRUBS, &c.

have a very fne assortment Of Towering shrubs,
&c. consisting in part of Dsutsias, Tin variety)
weigelias, Japan Ounce White and Purple Fringe
Double Scarlet Thorn, Syringias, the new climb
ing Rose, Gem Of the Prairiss, Moss and other
Rosies. Also European Mountain Ash, Kilmar-
mock Weeping Willow, Chsstnuts, and an escort
ment Of Evergreens.
3;tf ALBERT CHAPMAN.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18

Oppression after eating, headache, nervous do
biity, arc the effects of indigestion. One or two
at most, of Parsons Purgative Pills will give i'm
mediate relief
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18

The use Of Halls Vegetable Sicilian Hair Rer
newer brings new hair upon bald heads if the hal
folicles are not wholly destroyed. Try It,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
MAMBRINO PATCHEN

Rose wood bay Stallion. lGll hands high
weighing 1900 pounds. By Geo. NJ. Patcben-
by Cassius NJ. Cay-by Henry Clay-by Andrew
Jackson-by young Bashaw-by Imported Grand
Bashaw. "AN
Dam, Betsey, fast mare by Messenger Eclipse
by Messenger-by Mambrino--by Imported
Messenger
This horse as Gen. II. Patchen made record at
4 years old of 2.34 Ito wagon, 238 a. This
horse served over seventy mares last season. Has
as high reputation for getting large fast trotting
bay colts as any horse in the world
Victor Patchen trotted last season la 2.3l to
wagon. He untes the blood
on sIREs SIDE.
Of Geo. NJ. Patchen, record Of 2sl
" .a'cneh Ohiei, 2.26
~ ~ h''ie' 'o"" Will 2.l9
VI Lucy 2.2l
vi p"h'ers boy 2.2s
ON DAMS SIDE.
With Lady Thorn, record Of 2ls
pay Chiei, mile, yrs. old LOG
Maihoriho Pllot, record OF 2.27
q Mambrino Berthe, years old, record 2.42l/
Z" Ericsson, yrs. old, record, 2'301
Mares from distance provided with
good pasture. Accidents and escanes at Tho
risk of the owners.
Terms, S25 the season; S3j to warrant. Club
rates as last year. E. S. STOWELL,
4im3 Cornwall, Addison Co.. Vt
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
Cheap,
FOR CASH.

~ All persons in debt TO US viii please call
and paw at once. LANdWoRTHf BOND
April 8, 1871. 2;u
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
i.NIRST COLLECTION DISTRICT
L OF VERMONT
United States Assessors No.
tice.

hereby give notice to all whom il may con-
Germ, that will attend at the United States Cour,
House, in Rutland, in the County of Rutland, on
tuesday, April 18th inst, at o'clock p. NJ, and
on Wednesday, April 2Gth inst, at o'clock a. m.
to hear and determine all appeals relating to
erroneous or excessive valuations, assessments, or
enumerations by the Assessor or Assistant As
SCISSORS, within and for said District, returned in
tho Annual List in the month of March. 1871.
under the laws of the United States, relating to
Internal Revenue.
VIM S. SOUTHwORTH,
Assessor LIST Coll. Dist. Of Vt.
Bennington, April 4th, 1871 4;wl
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18

Renno's Pain-Killing Magic Oil is just the arti
Gle to keep in the house to relieve any kind of
pain, to cure cold, or Group, throat, or
cholic pains. cramps, and lameness of any kind.
Try it, reader, and you won't be without It to use
in your family.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18
MARKETS..
Middlebury Provision Market.

Middlebury, April 18th 1871.
Current Retail Prices, Reported by SHELDON
& CO., Dealers in GROCERIES AND PRovIs-
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18

4 NLON Elk SEEDS at IA cents per pound For
Nsale by EARL & CLAY.
nNlON SEEDS, of the Silver Skin persuasion.
NIFor sale by EARL 4 CLAY.
CORNELL PLOWS.
" For sale by EARL CLAY.
HARDEN SEEDS, of all kinds, on hand an i
Ofor sale by EARL CLAY.
ND FINALLY we would state that we have
Aeverything from Cambria Needle to a ma
moth crow bar EARL 4 CLAY.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-04-18

A New PHASE OF The Book CONCERN.
This unhappy trouble has assumed a
new phase. Some time ago DR.. Lannahan
employed three experts. He kept them
at work in the Book Room for Is weeks.
Every department Of the establishment
was placed at the disposal of these gentle
men, and they had access to all the books
and vouchers of the concern. What they
discovered has not been communicated to
the Senior Agent nor to the Book Com
mittee. AS DR.. Lannahan's Council can
not agree with the other side, DR.. Carl
ton has taken the matter into his own hands
He has chosen three gentlemcn-Mr
Van Week, chief book-keeper of VIM. 4
Dodge's house Mr.. Calender, U. s
Bank Examiner; and Mr.. Gum, cele
brated accountant, to overhaul the entire
concern from the first hour of Mr.. Carl
toms connection with it. One of the
experts is a methodist, the second 9
Presbyterian, the third Baptist. Ii
the meantime the trouble will continue
till the General Conference meets mex
year and that conference promises Il
be lively one. Five Bishops are to b.
elected, the lay delegates come in, anG
the Book Controversy to come up fol
final action. / am told by prominen
official that this controversy hast cost thu
Book Concern $50, 900 the past year
and in expenses and losses it will cost thu
concern 100000 the present year. In
directly it affects all the great benevolen
and religious societies ofthe land. Don
ors say; IF we can't trust the Bool
Concern what can we trust"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24
DR.. RAILWAYS
PERFECT pURGATIyE PILLS,
' NE THE GREAT CAUSE
aaGaS& OF
Human Misery:

Jaa Published, in a sealed enrelope Price sir els
a Lecture on the Nature, Treatment
and Radical Cure of Seminal weakness, or Sper.
matorrhGa, induced by self abuse, Involunta.
ry Emissions, lmpolcncy, Nervous Debility,
and lmpedments 10 Marriage genererally;
Consumption, Epilepsy, aud FITS; Mental and
Physical lncapacity, &c--By ROBERT j.
UULVERWELL, NJ. b, Author of the Green
Book, etc.
The world renowned author, in this admira.
Bile Lecture, clearly proves from his own eYpe
rlence that the awful consequences of Self
Abuse may be eifectually removed without
medicines and without dangerous surgical
operations, hougies, instruments, rings or cor
dials, pointing out a mode Of cure at once GER
tain and cilcctual by which every sufferer, no
matter what his condition may be, my cure
himself cheaply, privately, and iadically.-
This lecture will prove boon to thousands
and thousands,
Sent, under seal, in plain envelope, to any
on receipt Of six cents or two postage
stamps. Also, DR.. Culverwels Marriage
Guide rice 25 cents Address the Publish
er, CHAS. J. c. KLINE & CO.,
1877 Bowery, New York, P. 0, Box 1856.
iune29 lS7l-ly. &Co.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24
,UEsT VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY.

Hon. ] T. HorE, Pres't Board of Regents
G @ SrURGss, Sec'y "
ALEX MARTIN, D. D., President, and Profess
r of Mental and Moral Philosophy.
+ s LYoy, A. NJ, Vice President, Profess
or Of Eng. Literature, and Princip, Prep'y
Dept.
sc STEVENS, A. NJ, Professor of Astrono
my and Physics.
II H PIERCE. A. NJ, (capt. U. S. Az Pro.
lessor Of Mathematics of Military Tactics.
j ] STEVENSON A. ~, Phi. D. Professor Of
Chemistry aud Natural History.
FW WooD, Phi, D.. Professor Of Ancient and
Modern Languages.
o W MILLER, A NJ, Assistant in the Pre-.
paratory Department.
D PUpiSTos Tutor.
Geo NJ HAGAys, Esq, Superintendent Of the
Grounds and Buildings,
HuGu W Brock, NJ. D., Lecturer on Physiolo.
gy and Hygiene
Hon JoHS A Ollie, Lecturer on Civil and
Constitutional Law.
FALL Term begins LIST Tuesday in September.
WNTtn TEEN +" LIST Monday in December.
Spring TERM Sd Tuesday in March.
COMMENCEMENT, Sd Wednesday in June.
TUITION Preparatory, is 90 per Term of 10
University $500 per Term of 10
weeks.
BoARplSG-Not TO exceed "a per week,
Aug 10, 1869 Nv
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

During a heated theological discussion
in Battle Creek, Michigan, last week, be.
tween Baptist boy and Methodist boy,
the former threw the latter in the river
The juvenile disciple Of Wesley crawled
out, dripping wet, and shaking bis fist at
bis "clOse communion playmate, exclaim-
ed: "You can lick me, but you can't make
a Baptist Of mel" You've been INNER
sel, anyhow" was the Baptist boys stur.
dy reply.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

after reading this advertisement need any one
suffer with pain. Railways Ready Relief is a
cure for avery pain 1t was the first and is
THE ONLY PAIN REMEDY
that Instantly stops the most excruciatng pains
allays inAamations, and cures CONCESSIONS,
whether Of the lungs, stomach, bowels, OF 9th
er glands or organs, by one application, in
from one 10 twenty minutes, no matter how
violent OF cxcruciating the pain the rheumatic,
bedridden, infm, crippled, nervous. neural
gic, or Frustrated with disease may suffer.
RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
will afford instant ease. inflammation Of the
Kidneys, Inflammation Of the iladder. Inham.
nation Of the Bow els, Congestion Of the 1t ngs
Sore Throat, Difficult Breathing, Palpi,atOn
of the Heurt. Mysteries, Group, Diphtberia,
Catarrh Influenza, Headache, Toothache Neu.
nlgia, Rheumatism. Cold Chhls, Ague Chills,
The application Of the Ready Relief TO the
part or parts where the pain or difficulty exists
will afford ease and comfort.
Twenty drops 10 half tumbler Of water
will in a few minutes cure Cramps. Spasms,
Sour Stomach, Heartburn, Sick Headache. Di.
arrIca. Dyscnlery, Collie, Wind in the Bowels,
and oil internal pains
Travellers should always carry a bottle Of
Railways Ready Relief with them, few
drops in water will prevent sickness or pains
from change Of water. II il better than French
Brandy or Btters as siimuant
FEVER AND AGUE.
Fever aud Ague cured for fifty cents. There
is not remedial agent in this world that will
cure Fever and Ague, and all other Mtlarious,
Bilious, Scarlet, Typhoid, Yellow, and other
Feyers (aided BY RAILWAYS PILLS. so
quick as RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
FIilg cents per bottle.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

By the light Of reason we cast sort Of
glazing illusion around ourselves; but if
condded in, it tends only to obscure our
visions Of more exalted glOrics. Ilumiu.
ate a town, the streets are light, while the
heavens are lost in darkness; but when the
day breaks forth, both the earth and the
sky become visible. So the sparks Of our
own kindling, while they shed an artificial
brllliancy for a short distance around US,
involve the scenes above in shadows even
darker than those of night; buff the "day
spring from on high" dawn in the soul, we
have clear views both Of earth and heaven.
Rowland Hill.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24


MILLIONS Bear TesHhon. 10 Inc"
Wonderful Curative hnec,s
They are not vile Fnncy Dr'nh' ''Aae u ioo.
Rum, Whiskcy, ProOi spirits hnu iieiuso
Liquors doctored, spiced and wv
tastocaled "ronics, "AppetiScr'' hestofers So''
thatlead the tlpper on to DRUNKENNESS
hruo Medicine. made from the naive o.s ana he'p'
Of California, free from nll Alcoholic SLIM
Innts. They ore the GREAT BLOOD PUhI'
FER and A LIFE GIVING fhiNClfLh'
npericct Renoyator and Inyigorntor Oh the system,
caryingoHalpo isonousmatter and restoring thebooa
to healthy condition. Nopcrson can take these DIV
tiers according to directions and remain long unwen,
provided their bones are not destroyed py mineral
pOlsonoF other means and lo ''''' ''S"''' "D'''
Deyonu tue pom. OIL repair. .uo
TheS hre "ehiie fnrgh,, wen ~
Tonic, possessing, also, the peculiar merit oil actR
ms n powerll nccnt In relieving Congestion or Innan
u, A.. t.. ",,,I,, I,,sc,ro, C,r,,r,
nation oil TIC L'ef' ana all inc 's.elM o,sais'
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, IN young or
IA ,,orrod ar SINGLE n, o d,,vr Of womnnbood or at
tho tum Of litc these Tonic Blttcrs have no equal
For Ing,mmatorv nnd chronic RLeunn.
liam and Gout. Dysncnsia or Indigestion,
Rilious. Remi,,cut nnd Intermittent Fc.
yrr., Disenses of tho Blood, Liver, Kid.
ncvs and nlndder. these Bitters have been mos.
successful. such D,seuscs are caused by yi,iated
Blood, which sgenerally produced by arrangement
Of the Digestive Organs,
nysprnsI, M, I"nrcrsTJoy Had.
DioIsroia Ot iNbit" "H' new
aahe, Pain In the Shoulders Coughs, Tightuess Of the
rb,s, Di,,I,ss. sopr rrnc,,,ions of the Stomach,
o".,n D"."v'' ~, n,u''''''V" ,,.,,,.,.,'a,
Ull the BILIOUS
the Heart Inflammation Of the Lungs, Pain 10 the re-
- o,hor MANN, ,,,n,.
,om. ar. ,hn onsnr,r., n n.,nor,,a
T,, tho s,ir,plata ,ho ,or,la
ih' "''iso'a'' ''V s'o'"acu anu ''' 'o,p',
Liver anu Bowels which render mem u uhequal'ea
parps new life ana vso Ut to the he ", whole system
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

Husbands ought to keep out of the
kitchen" A husband who did not writes
thus of the consequences: II found fault
some time ago with Maria AIMS custard
pie, and tried to tell her how my mother
made custard pie. Maria made the pie af-
ter my receipt. 1t lasted longer than any
other pie we ever had. Maria sat it GA
the table every day for dinner, and you
see could not eat it because l forgot to
tellhcr to put in any eggs or shortening -
1t was economical, but in ct of generos.
it!y | stole it from the pantry aud gave it
to poor little boy in the ncighborhood -
The boys funeral was largely attended by
his former playmates l did not 60 my.
SELF"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

Tell that man to take of bis hat in court, ;
said q judgeth other morning to an officer
The offender who turned gu. to be young
lady, wearing the fashionable sailor bat,
Indignantly exclaimed, 81 am no man,
sir" "Then, said bis honor, II am no
Judge"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

1t is related Of a colporteurer sent out in
the pnlmy days Of cOlportage by the Amer
lean tract society, that he asked rough
Arkausian what denomination certain
dilapidatcd looking Westinghouse belong
ed to. "Wa'll, stranger" was the reply.
"sho wur Hard Shell Baptist, but they
dout run her now"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24
EO sale.

Il0 Acres of unimproved land FIVE miles
lOU from Point Pleasant, West Virginia,
and halt mile from Hickory Chapel on The
Clarksbnrg road This land laws well and is
well limberpd comfy road passes along one
side Of It. Title perfect Price, $1,000. half
cash, 6nIa zee in one and two years. Enquire
OF r. W Slsson, Attorney at Law and Real
Estate Agent, Point Pleasant, Yves, Va.
June s.i.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24
no CONSUHE PVEyES,

VHE advertiser, having been permanently
carec of that dread disease, Consumption
by a simple remedy, is anxious to make known
to ms fellow sufferers the means of cure. To
all who desire 1t he will send copy of the
prescription used, free of charce,) with the
directions 'orprtpa,ing and using the same
winch they will find u sure CURE for Coysuyp.
TON, ASTHMA, BRONcnlTAs, DC. Parties wish
ing the presCription will please address
Rev, EDWARD A. WILSON,
ib' South Second St., Williamsb6rpb N. Y.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

The religion of him who tries to believe
Gods word harder than be tries to keep
his commands, is like the legs Of the lame
not equal,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

As golden vase full of the most beau
tiful aud fragrant flowers, so is human
heart when emptied Of sin, aud filed with
the fruits Of the Holy Spirit.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

FENMALE DREss. -Femalo costume is,
perhaps, the most expensive result Of the
fall No sooner had Eve bitten the apple
than she wanted a dress; and that want has
been increasing in intensity and comprc.
hensiveness among her daughters ever
since that unfortunate hour.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

The Chicago Common Council are going
to Salt Lake City, and an exchange SAYS i
is understood that their purpose is to strike
decisive bio" at polygnmy by distribu.
ting Chicago divorces among the Norm.
ons.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24
THE DAILY Sun, 80 A YEAR.

"A prominently readable newspaper, with tho
mrgeSl circulation IN tho world. FREQ. indie
from everywhere Two cents a COPY ; by mail,
% cents month, or SO q year.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

Ayoung man named A 9, Smith, who
had ssaked his money on the wrong horse
at the Buffalo races, committed suicide last
Saturday evening, at Niagara, by jumping
into the rapids from the bridge leading to
the Second Sister Island.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

Mankind has been learning for sixthous-
and years, and yet how few have learned
that their beings are as good as them.
selves.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

A lady had a fnvOrite lap dog, which
she called perchance, "A singular name,
Said somebody, "for beautiful pet, mad.
am. Where did you find it?' "OA.'
drawled she, "it was named from Byron's
dog 70 remember where he says, Per.
chance my dog will howl"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

10 be prof'ed in the house Of worship,
let the cri'icising judgment be left at home
aud the praying heart taken along.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

A New Orleans woman lately attempted
cd suicide by stuIfng old rags down her
throat This is, indeed, novelty, but at
the same time rather backward movement
from the plan Of the man who swallowed
bits Of sponge and then drank water until
he burst.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

An amusing mistake was lately made by
clerk in connection with police court
A person was summoned for seriously in
juring another by pitching him down stairs
and the injured individuals recovery was
considered doubtful, The magistrate who
heard the case marked it as "adjourn.
cd sine de-" Seeing the entry, the clerk
took the Latin phrase for honest English,
and read it "sincc dead"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

An amusing affair happened lately be-
tween coal dealer aud purchaser. The
latter was very anxious to see that the form.
or did not cheat him, so he (the purchas.
er)inspected the weighing Of the coal him
self, and felt perfectly satisfied that he got
his full allowance, without any desire on
the part Of the coal dealer to shave" -
However, while the coal was weighing, the
driver OF the team could not help laughing
aware ut the time that the purchaser was
particular about his full weight Of coal.
The purchaser, noticing the laughing Of
the driver, asked him. when he received
the coal what it was all about; SO the driv-
er told him.
"Wby," said he, "when your coal was
weighing you were standing on the scales,
and were weighed with it,"
SIS it possible? Why, weigh nearly
two hundred pounls?'
"Well, sir said the driver You are
sold!"
eyes," was the reply, "and l have
bought myself, too"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

A lady in Virginia attempted to scare
her s0n'in-law by wrapping herself in a
sheet aud meeting him on the road. lie
didn't scare worth a cent. but gave her a
severe whipping.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

sErI.WEEELY sun, SO 4 YEAE,
Of tho same size and general character as
III" WEEKLY, but with greater variety OF
miscellaneous reading, and furnishing the news
Tors sno'c'lbeSswth greater freshness because
Ncome5 twice wsek Instead Of once only.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

Richmond, Va, boasts of a woman who
was several years circus athlete and
gymnast, five years shoemaker, two years
blacksmith, priaeiglter, having whip.
ped her man, aud finally a jailbreaker, in
ebriato aud fighting character generally
Fanny Taylor is her name.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

"Do you believe in the rod as an iustru.
mcnt of discipliue?' asked a mother of q
school teacher in Nevada. to whom she had
sent her unruly son. mo, madam. -
ooh, I'm so glad! What do you subs,i-
taso for it?' 1.-The Revolver, madam. y
Exit mother and unruly son.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-24

A MaysviIle chap went into drug store
in that place and picked up bottle ofhair
oil, thinking it was perfume. He satura.
ed his handkerchief and the lapels Of bis
with it, and now wants to know which is
the best kind of soap for removing grease
spots.