The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-03-23
VOLUME e{---No. 3e.


Tallow Is quoted as @actiys !" meaning,
probably, that 1t is apt to run.
- Wood ashes is said to have no superior -
q fertilizer for peach and apple trees.
"A bug thatl Aotrishes all the year round
I-humbug.
: Many men are worth nothing and some
sre worth-lesa
- The sting of abee carries conviction With
It. It makes q man a bee-leaYer at once.
- Out of LIT, ,000,0 900 acres Of land in Texas,
only 1900, 600 are improved The remainder
lies 'Naste.g .gsrEct..mc.i5l r.. .!,:.G
/ Anugly old bachelor suggests that births
should be published under the head of "Nsw
Music" .-..,,
- In the Sandwich Islands il is death for q
mans mother.in-law to visit him without per.
mission. Happy Sandwich Islanders.
- Indiana. husbands always purchase the
mon explosive" kind Of burning fluid. They
find it is 30 mitch cheaper than divorce suits.
Don't scent youfseH when going to any
crowded assembly. Beecher says There is no
smell 80 universally pleasing as no smell."
And if he knows his nose, he knows.
"A little dumb boy, when asked what for..
giYeness was, wrote upon his slate this beautiful
reply "The odor which violets breathe out whom
trampled upon"
AT recent Wisconsin charitarh the bride.
groom snapped an old gun at the bridefs broth
81, thinking it was not loaded. The brothet-in.
law was buried with Masonic honors.
Fence posts should be thoroughly seasoaed
before being set in the ground. The durability
the part set in the ground.
- The Louisville Cburier-JoarnaI says.
Speaking of the Darwinian theory, that man u
descended from the monkey, the Chicago Pox
askes "Was our grandmother monksyT II
she wasn't We should like TO know how the
deuce she happened to have such grandson"
"A little girl, having learned what p,se
,uortem examination was, declared that she
would not consent to be so dealt with after
death. "What, not if it would be greatly TO
the benefit of those who lived z" asked her mo.
ther. mo, how would Hook going 10 heaven
all cut to piecesw
-6ays the Montgomery Mail: The Marion
Commonwealth furnishes us with the following
marriage notice, which, we must admit, is some
what stony: Married, at tFlintstone, by the Rev.
MrsWindstone, Mr.. Nehemiah Sandntone and
Miss Withelmina Milestone, both of Lime
rtone." Look out for birthstone next.
"A greater quantity of tomatoes is now
consumed than of almost any other garden
vegetable. Forty years ago they were looked
upon, and raised as curiositiea, much in tho
same way "a Guinea muskmeion are now, and
we're popularity denominated "love apple"
A notorious gambler, who has ruined his
constitution by high living and hard drinking,
said to his physician the other day, doctor,
suffer the pains of the damned" "Yon may
think 90 nov" grimly replied hephyscian, eebut
you Just hold on little while, and you'll find
out the difference"
-AIf the stars,a writes Emerson, SHOULD
appear only one night in a thousand years, how
would men believe and adore, and preserve for
many generations the remembrance of the city
of God which had been shown. But every
night come out these preachers Of beauty, and
light the universe with their adInonishing
SMILE"
An eccentric wealthy gentleman, stuck up
q board in field on his estate, upon which.
was painted the following: ''I will give this
field to any man who is contented." He soon
had an applicant. swell, sir, are You con-
tented man n eyes, sir, very" sThen what
do you want with my feld2" The applicant
did not stop t, reply.
= Governor Clayton has resigned the United
States Senat0rship to which he was elected by
the Arkansas Legislature The reasorl assigned
by him for his action Is that he believes his
election was plot of the Conservatives to get
him out of the way 80 that they COULD get con-
troll of the State government.
- Senator Schurz has written letter to
friend in Missouri, in which he opposes the
proposition to call convention to araend the
State constitution. He thinks the people Of
Missouri are too unsettled politically atpresent
to have q fair idea of what they need, but
recommends that committee of the Legisia.
turs be appointed to frame such amendments
as are desirable for consideration.
/. One of our exchanges reports that plant
er, near Columbus, Mississippi, experimenting
on one acre, set his cotton plants three and
half feet apart, each way, thinning to two stalks
in the hill, and cultivating In the same mannet
as with corn.. The yield was more than double
that grown in the old way, and in respect to
the maturing Of the bolls, advantage was found
in the reader access OF the sun.
"A Connecticut lawyer Who wished to ctoss
a river on the ice, was told that it would be en-.
tirely safe to make the attempt if he crawfed
over on his hands and knees. Anxious to go,
he humbled himself accordingly, and had labor
iously got halfway across when he w:s ovsrta-
ken BY man driving along leisurely in bug
gv, The rapidly with which he assumed an
Upright position was startling to the driver.
Like the little boys nose that wouldn't
stay blowed, two out of every twenty-eight
Rhode Islanders won't stay married, and the
Chicagonizing fact Is announced that 169 d.
vorces were granted in that microscopic Stats
during the year of grace 1870. TO remedy
this evil ordinary moftals would look 10 mod.
ifcation of the laws concerning divorce; but
Rhode Island goes to the root of the matter and
proposes 30 render marriage more difficult;
arguing very Justly that if matrimony could be
altogether prevented few people would be I'M.
clined 10 apply for divorce.
The "bogus money rogues and rascals In
New York are again busy in sending their
circulars through the mails, as newspapers in
various sections inform us. The Petersburg
Lnder says that $50 transparent too is their de-
vice, that whose Is tempted of them, is too