Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-07-27
BrevilieS and LeYities.

2s- A Western editor was run away
with by fast horse. After the surgeons
had collected the pieces together and got;
them pretty well matched, the editor
wrote leader against fast horses, favor
ing the substitution of camels.
@- If we could read the secret history
of our enemies, we should find in each
rnan's'life sorrow and suffering enough
to disarm all hostility.
ns- A joyous damsel rushed into 6.
citizens arms at Savannah, exclaining,
"oh, you are my long-lost brothcrE-
She soon discovered. her mistake, anc
rushed off in confused manner, accom-
panied by her long-lost brothers pocket
book.
~ Goodness Of heart is mans best,
treasure, his brightest honor, and noblest
acquisition. 1t Is that ray of the Divini-
ty which dignifies humanity.
gs- A school committee In frontier
district are reported to have summed up
their opinion of an examination which
they had attended by making to the pu-
pills this address, "You've spelled well,
and you've ciphered good, hut you amt
sot STILL"
Gar The annual report of an education
al institution In an Eastern State men
tions the resignation of one of the teach
ers, q young lady, to "engage in domes-
tic relations
Fy a lady in Wyoming complains
that, notwithstanding the female suffrage
law, hundreds of her sex in that Terrific
rv refuse to vote unless coaxed by good
looking men.
81 1t is Of no advantage to have a
lively time l.! We ure not just. The per;
foction OF tiie pendulum is not to 80 fast,
but TO move regular.
~. Old BILLY w, of. Fluvanna
Connty, Ohio, was dying. He was an
ignorant man, and Il very wicked one.
Or. D, az excellent physician, and
Il very pious man. was, attending him.
The old fellow asked for bread. The
doctor approached the bedside, and i'll a
very solemn tone remarked: my dear
fellow, man cannot live by bread alone" :"
MOI said the old fellow, rcviving /;
"he's 'bleeged to havea few vegetables !"
yas- The following paragraph shows
some of the new words that have been
coined by tho modern school of Journal
lists: f" He cxcurted Il day or two on beer,
and getting short he burgled little. But
he was soon copped and Jailed. The
news was immediately wired tohis amiu-
bic wife, who rallied to him at once"
gss- There are many parodics OF "Nla-
ry's Little Lamb" among the most re-
cent stands.
'Mary had little lamb.
It's fleece was white as cotton,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb would go a-trottin."
But this has been cclipsed by the "hoy
poet" who wrote
Johnnie had William goat,
His wool like dirty cotton,
His tail was short, he smelt quite strong,
As if he had been rotton."
10 A Cleveland newspaper rejects o
communication styled "!An Hour with
the Spirits" because the writer's name
is not appended. The kind of spirits
they keep in Cleveland, before he has
been with them fifteen minutes, renders
the most ablc-bodiei writer powerless
to sign his name.
a~ Boys shouldn't go a-fshing on
Sunday. The case of boy in Reading,
Mass, presents sad warning. While
hc.was devoting tho Sabbath to fishing,
his parents cut ap a pineapple for tea,
and when he returned there WAS not
bit of it left.
@- It is positively asserted tilat the
dogs of Calhoun, Georgia, have become
so habituated to having tinware attached
to their tails that whenever one of them
sees tin kettle lying in the road. he
backs up to it, and waits for somebody
to tie it on. And any one who yearns for
a first-class story, exactly adapted to the
dogs, is at liberty to believe ii.
ag- Boarder-" tea seems very
weak, Mrs. Skimp." Landlady-"We1l
! guess it must be the warm weather; I
feel weak myself; in fact, everybody
complains"
G-" Should drunkards marry ?" asks
one Of those men who persistin torment
ing the world with unanswerable conun-
drums. But this has halfway answer.
Paul says it is better to marry than to
burn, so go long with your hard ques-
tons, and don't botherus.
GIRLS, BEwARE.-Girls, beware of
transient young men. Never suffer
the addresses Of a stranger. Recol-
lect that one good q Farmers boy, or
industrious Mechanic, is worth al
the floating tops in the world. The
allurements of a dandy Jack, with q.
shoe brush over his upper lip, a gold
chain round his neck, a walking-stick
in his paw, cent cigar in his mouth,
some honest tailor's coat on his back,
and a brainless though fancy skull,