Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-05-25
Couldn't Spell it,

A Yankee from Green Mountains,
visited the city of London. While
passing through one Of the thorough
fares, his attention was arrested by
some specimens of writing paper, ex-
posed for sale in shop window. See
ing the proprietor of the establish
ment standing at the door, the YAM
kee civilly inquired what he did with
''nice bits Of paper" r..
"Keep them to tie up gapeseed in"
said the cockney, snappishly. sob,
We du-du ye@' said Jonthan. Passing
down the street q few steps, our indig-
nant Yankee saw another merchant.
81 say, Mister, can you tell me what
that feller does for a living what keeps
them ere nice bits Of paper at the win
dor" .,..'..- ...f........'-. -..... ....-..
eyes, sir. He is small dealer in
paper and sort scribe. He writes
letters for persons" .-f..-. -5... d.
81 reckon it is avery small dealer and
that he is pharisee as we'll as q
scribe. Do you think he will write a
letter for me if / pay him for it?"
The Yankee thrust his hands into his
pockets almost up to his elbows and
walked back. e.l'.'-'...r. ............, . r.
"I say, mister, they say as how you
tell and write letters for folks what
can't write. What win you ak to
write letter to my sister Sally?"
81 shall charge you five shillings." "
"Will We write just what / tell ye,
and spell the words right as we do in
Vermont" .....,,..--.-. -....... 49,.
$50 be sure will.'' f.-- es...
"Well, / guess you may write to Sal
ly." b 81, --...., -.. .a.r. .-I. . :.
The Londoner procured pen, ink
and D. per, and the Yankee commenc-
ed debating after the usual style:
"Dear sister Sally" -.5-...'. ...
"Rived in town last week" ..... ..-
"Have ye got that down."
eyes, go on"
Thought rd go into the country
.Wel, the old mare baked. She
wouldn't go, so licked her."
"Well, go on" 49,.
clicked her-licked her-licked her
licked her." t.......-
"What is the use of saying that SO
many times" -.5. ~.
"None Of your business. l pay you
five shillings-licked her-licked her
licked her-licked her."
"This page is full of licked hers"
sTurn over then-licked her-licked
her--licked her-licked her. She
wouldn't go then, SO got out and
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her,
kicked herr
0You are not intending to say that
as many times as you said licked her"
'sNone your business: I pay you.- =
Kicked her, kicked her, kicked her,.
She wouldn't go then, so sharpened
the end of whip handle, and / prick.
ed her, pricked her, pricked her, prick
ed he" ,-..-.-,4-..-- .
81 cannot see any sense in all this,
"Never mind, / pay you. Licked
her, kicked her, pricked her, licked
her, kicked her, pricked her, licked
her, kicked her, pricked her."
'sShe wouldn't go then, so got our
and I''-(here the Yankee made a CHR
ruping noise with his tongue and lips
which bids defiance to orthography.)
"I cannot spell that"
ooh, you can't spell that ha? Wal ye
need't write any more for me-"
aNeed not write any more?"
"No MORE" said the Yankee.
."Not q word TO close with?"
"Nary word.
"You viii pay for what have writ
temp
ssNot red. You did not write
down all 1 told you to-"
"Well, sir, what am / to do with al
this paper / have spOiled?"
| &c Eeoy, If I'm tie IA, am Seed.O