The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-04-10
BR W.T. Re S .

anu 'OOD care III suo ID az uCtnS'y 40
stump fence"
Peppermint-scented lard is the favorite
pomade with Iowa bellies.
There is preacher at GAINESVILLE whom
the Gazette says is sufficiently graphic to
have made Shakespeare shout"
Loafers SO afflict the merchants Of Terye
Haute that they hang out placards request
ing employment for these ROSTERS"
birmingham, Mass, has voted to erect
soldiers memorial hall and library build
ing, at a cost Of $4,000
The hero of Texan tournament is
known as the "Knight of the Forked Tail"
The name of his "Queen of Love and
Beauty is not reported.
Mrs. Hyson, of Washington, absconded,
from Old Hyson, taking Colong with her
s'drawing" from his bank account and
the affair has created quite tempest in
teapot. ..s.,...
They tell Of farmer in Kentucky who
was so lazy that when he went to hoe corn
he worked SO slowly that the shade of his
broad brimmed hat killed the plants.
Still another COW story William M.
Tibbetts of Milton, Mass, recently killed
COW, in which he found, near the heart,
the tine of a pitchfork seven inches long
A little fellow in Westmore, VT, was
Killed the other day by drinking boiling
water out of the spout Of tea kettle. He
did SO because few days before, his father
having just filled the kettle, let him drink
that way.
An Alton (nl) druggist recently sold a
horticulturist a new species of potato to
take home and plant. The potato had such
sweet aroma that he could not resist the
desire to ascertain how it tasted. He gave
it to his wife to cook, and she discovered
1t to be a ball of soap.
A Democratic shyster in the San Fran
cisco police court, lately drew up a com
plant charging man with having stoler
ia Coos" Judge Sawyer dismissed thu
com plant, on the ground Of incredibility
there being no such thing as ga COOS" IL
Natural History.
Wendell Phillips declares bis belief tina
the experiment of universal suffrage is
failure, so far as great cities are concerned
He says: "You may put on your dia
monds and walk on London Strand and b
safe. You would not try it on Broadwa
without making your will; and Broadwa
is the unadulterated result of universe
suffrage"
Vena and Miuard had slight misun
Outstanding one day, and Vena, fired wit
revenge against her big brother, kicked tn
cat. Johnny, who was Vena's favorit
' brother, saw the performance, and said
"Vena, that cat amt all Minard's; it
part NINE" SWELL" said Vena, with
sort Of self-satisied air, ri kicked Vena
part"
Just as an auctioneer was sayiDg "gone
a few evening since, bis audience WEI
through the floor into the cellar, but hal
PLY without hurting any of them. Tt
auctoneer, as soon as he found his leg
remarked that the accident would enab
him to sell lower than before.
Wendell Phillips relates that at the tin
Of the Burns riot, in Boston, there WI
one individual at least who did not sha
the general excitement, but walked tt
streets and did his business 10 a state
imperturbable eomposure. 1t was she
time afterward, however, that our cal
friend, no longer calm, met Mr.. Phillip
with whom he was acquainted, on t
sidewalk, and, IN state vi auylhiuS
tranquility, accosted him with the que
ton: "Mr. Phillips,is it true, as ha
heard, that Anthony Burns was Ba
fist - ''Yes.' was the reply. "Wel
exclaimed the now indignant champie
ssthe way they treated him was an abon
nable shamep
A COUPLE in Maine, about to be join
in holy matrimony, determined that thu
should be no nonsense about their bird
Therefore they gave notice in the Bans
Whig that they were married on the
instant, and that there were to be
cards" and emo CAKE" for the affair v
"nobody's business" However, by "
of compromise, they informed th
friends and relatives" that at their re
dence, on certain evening, there wot
be a free "clam chowder"--a delight
dish, as we can testify, if it be prope
made. as it seldom is outside its nat
New England. That Mr.. and Mrs. Twit
ell and their relatives and friends bat
good time, we can easily credit, alb
,s the bride failed to receive either $50
shawl or $4,000 worth of diamonds.