The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-04-20
WIT AND HUMOR.


the prayer of hypocriteP Because it
Is solemn sound by thoughtlcss
tongue
Have you sister? Then love
and cherish hor, If you have not
sister OF youf own, then love some
body else's sister.
The man who didn't believe in ad-
vertising has gone into partnership
with the sheriff, and the latter is now
doing the advertising.
There Is no place like home"
unless IT'S the home of the young wo.
man'you are "aftcr," Future poets
will please make note of this.
"A bachelor friend suggests that in
most marriages considerable "soft
soap" with strong lye, is used, and
the whole operation ends in shaving!
"A Cleveland girl broke off her en-.
gagemcnt with young man for the
reason that he snores in bis sleep. The
court wants to know how she found it
out.
"A bachelor, in commenting upon
the large amount which Queen Victoria
saves annually from her salary, re-
marked that "therc was q widow worth
going for"
"A Boston paper is "n favor ofw
men voting if they want to- AWes.
tern paper "would like to see the man
who could make them vote if they
didn't want to.
An exchange says Fanny Fern is
"a butterfly writer, floating among the
fringes Of thought" 0, get out She
don't float among the fringcs of
thought. She lives on Eighteenth
Street. Talk about her foating-why,
she weighs nearly two hundred pounds.
"A lady in London somehow got
the idea into her head that the devil
was in her, and went to the cupboard
and hung herself If women 60 to
hanging themselves for little things
like that, they are going 10 be mighty
scarce, that's all.
MIR. Hall, of St. Louis, asks the
Court to put stop to fiat irons alight
ing in the vicinity Of his left ear, by
granting him divorce from hat.iron
propeller which he married not long
since. If anything will discourage
man, it is a heavy hat-ron alongside
| mis- left ear
: A colored female teacher has re-
covered $1,000 from the Orange and
Alexandria Railroad, because they
wouldn't allow her to ride with white
people. She has quit teaching, and
will devote the balance of her life to
riding on railroads, and being nut of
trains. She can make better wages.
y "A baby was found at Indianapo.
D. lis, and the ladies who took the Job of
& rearing it, thought it would be proper
L to give the child 4 respectable name,
so they named it after bachelor of
:, the city of great respectabilty and
S member Of the church. He is the mad.
+ dest man you ever saw. He says and
d swears that it is no such thing.
There appears to be an impression
that only those ladies who have big
feet are in favor of long or trailing
b dresses. But there never was greater
mistake. This style of dress is in IA
vor with those possessing the most
beautiful underpinning, and for this
n reason-they can find a greater num-
G Der of excuses for lifting long dresses
It to escape mud and provoke glances.
IS Just watch and see if we are not right.
e 1t will be remembered that a Girl
in California had her neck broken not
long since in the insane attempt TO
prevent a young man from kissing her,
- and now here is another case Of the
same kind from st. Louis, where o
young girl has been brought to an un-
v timely end, bringing sorrow upon her
aged parents, by the same kind of
II stubbornness. If this proves warn
l. ing to future girls not to imperil their
e, lives needessly, BY resisting, our mis-
e sion is fulfilled.
IS How Children Will Talk.-"Moth-
err" said little three year-old mascu-
line hopeful the other day at the table,
J. has aunt Hattie got honey in her
&c mouth ?" mo, my blossom; why do
q you ask p "'Cause Bill Jones caught
" her in his arms, out in the hall, and
H. asked her to let him taste of the honey
on her ruby lips" daughter, bushes
!. and sensation among the guests.
II "Well, what did she say?' "Ah, she
% warn't half so stingy as she is with me,
# and she said all right, hurry up, and l
Y guess she's got lots of it, for he tasted
and tasted more n twenty twenty times
"Oh, hush!
@ rIo.o:rc. Il, 7 30 Nil.