The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-08-22
A Lawyer Among Cows.

GQUIRE WICK, lawyer who fan
- cies what he don't know amt worth
pumpkins" and whose home amt
thousand miles from the Pine Tree State,
was great favorite with the late Judge
Cranch. Once visiting the judge, the
latter invited him to walk over his prcmi-
ses. Among other places they visited the
barn-yard, and the squire was struck with
admiration as he gazed upon the noble
herd of cows which had just been driv-
en- up for milking.-He talked as elabor-
ately ftheir good points as would first
rate good stock breeder, when the fact
was he knew next to nothing about stock,
and some of the good points which he
spoke of, caused the judge hearty laugh
in his sleeve.
Well" said the judge, (which of the
cows will you take?"
Which will l take, your honor 2"
said the squire, not knowing the judges
meaning
Yes, which will you take? am
going to make you present of one Of
them-which shall it be?"
Really, your honor, this is unexpec-
ted, will not object to the present, but
had rather your honor would make the
selection, as receivers should not be
choosers." "UI a.i u .fn.. .s. #f
you accept this present you must
make the selection. Being a good judge
of stock, you will not be like to cheat
YOURSELF" And the eccentric Judge
smiled to himself u.. .lt.a.ira II .i-.
The squire rubbed his gold-bowed
spectacles, and began to view the COWS
with critics precision. After much
scrutinizing, he said :.r r.D.r .r.ir,5
.g | apprehend, your honor, you would
not like to part with that very fat, short
horned, thick-necked COW ?" ....t. b.,
| have no choice; make your selec-
tion," said the judge his risibles hardly
comfortable.
Il don't want to rob you of your favo-
rite COW, but if you have no choice,
should prefer the very fat onej she has
many good points, .u.- .'.u. .p
4" No favorite-no robbery at all--the
fat COW is yours. My man will drive her
to your house before milking" .U a
The delighted squire fastened home to
inform his wife. In about an hour he
saw the "fattest and best COW in the viii
lage," as he styled her, driven into his
yard, and despatched sable daughter of
Africa to milk her. In few minutes in
came ebony, gigling and laughing
Squire Wick knew something was to
pay, and what he could not coniure.
There stood Dinah Ground up' with
laughter, the empty pail dangling by her
side.H hHa b'r'i'oI Fah ,n'ilTo-aTi1r. .aI
What on earth is to pay, ,Dinah? what
are you laughing for 2" asked the squire.
Z" o massa, for muffin, only-ki XII XII,
iii, he he he, ee p' ''.li" '''. . a.s w. n. .r
The squire looked at his wife-she at
him--then' both at Dinah, who had
"conniptioned" with laughter and settled
down by the door her face covered with
her apron, and her laughing machinery
shaking her sides at tremendous rate.
The squire's mad riz. ,y T., III ~,
"Dinah,'' said he, at the top of his
voice, tell me what's to pay or I'll throw
you out of the house." p '.t.If W
Dinah rose and mastered herself long
enough to say: h' pm . TO- .la d
go lor massa, nofin only dat COW Of
yourn's--a gemmen co,o !" and then fell
into another fit of laughter. uri ..e.
IF you know how chopfallen man
looks, portrait of Squire Wick's coun-
tenance would be superAuous, The way
that very fat, short-horned co,o" walked
back to the yard of Judge Cranch wasn't
slow, and the way the Judge shook his
sides was a caution to critics.