Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-04-15
NUMBER 15.
FACT AND FANCY.

How to raise beets-take hold of the tops and
pull.
thing that should take we'll with the public
vaccination.
Why is milk like the treadmill? Because it
strengthens the calves.
An early spring-jumping out of bed at five
O'Clock in the morning.
There is paper in Indiana called The Gimlet.
Its enemies call it bore.
How does the woodpecker get its food2 Why,
it " runs up q bill " for it.
little girl wanted her father to 60 to the
loGfer's and get loaf of bread.
Tennessee taxes dogs in aid of the school fund,
but exempts one dog in each family
"Teeth extracted with great palms," is the
advertisement of Washington dentist.
A paper called The Tobacco Plant has recently
been started in Liverpool. 1t must be good
paper to get "puffs " in.
In the Sandwich Island it is death for mans
mother-in-law to visit him without permission.
Happy Sandwich Islanders
In Chicago it is fashionable to say; How
we'll Mrs.--is dressed The first time she has
been out since her divorce, too"
A Western editor says that girl who is now
called a 4" beautiful blonde" few years ago
would have been termed " a tow-head.'
" Can you steer the mainmast down the fore
casteW asked sea-captain of recruit.
4" Yes, sir, can, if you will stand below and
coil it up"
Minnesota school teacher who whipped one
of his pupils nearly to death, has left that part
of the country by rail. The rail was three
cornered one.
Mr.. Gaisher is an @ronaut and he has dis
covered that woman's voice is audible at q
height of two miles, when mans voice has
never been heard higher than mile.
The drum major who ran away from Chicka-
mauga when reproached with cowardce, re-
piled "Pd rather be called coward all my
life, than corpse fifteen minutes p
There was old family fuel between them,"
was what the principal witness in a Chicago mur-
der said to the jury. The Judge asked her
if she did not mean " feud, !" and she asked him
who was telling the story.
When Sheridan taught school, he had in one of
his classes boy who always read partrldges for
patrarchs. " Stop" exclaimed the wag of q
teacher you shall not make game of the pa
triarchs."
A Sunday school girl at of the African
churches was recently asked to tell at an exam
ination what Adam lost by his fall2 81 dun
no." she replied unless 1t was his holt on de
apple tree"
A philosophical individual who suddenly sat
down slippery sidewalk, in Milwaukee, dis
armed the usual ridicule incident to accidents
of that character by coolly taking cigar out of
his pocket and lighting it before getting up
GO What is the annual corn crop of Kentucky1"
asked foreign tourist of a Kentuckian. 81
can't exactly say" replied the Kentuckian (;
" but know its enough to make all the whisky
VIC want, besides what is wasted for bread"
A Michigan bridegroom failed to appear at
the appointed time, but sent note saying he
didn't feel we'll enough acquainted with her to
marry. Her father went and gave him formal
introduction with his boot, and the performance
went right on.
81 meant to have told you of that hole said
a gentleman to his friend, who was walking
with him in his garden, and stumbled into a
pit full of water. mo matter" said the friend,
blowing the mud and water out of his mouth,
" I've found it,.
An Ohio photographer presented revolver at
the head of gentleman who was sitting for his
"S my reputation ua as an artist is at sta If you
don't look smiling III blow your b ins out"
He smiled ghastly smile.
In Peru, printers have been exemptb from SER
vice in the National Guard. Ameri Iln printers
did not ask for exemption from mill bry service
during our late war, but were amoIg the very
first to shoulder their " shooting btck" and
march to the field of glory.
A fourteen-year-old girl was a tness in re-
cent Indiana divorce suit, and brtion of her
evidence was as follows "Fmher got mad be-
cause mother starched his stockens. Mother.
picked up the stockens and hit father the
head with them, and it sounded though they
were sticks of wood. Father then stuffed a hot
wheat-eake down mothers throat, and then
mother set the dog father and twisted the
dogs tail to make him bite harder"
The following conversation took place be-
tween Count Bismarck and NJ. Picard, the French
Minister of Finance, with regard to the then dis
cussed extension of the armistice. Bismarck
4" am not dsinclined to extend the armstice
till the Gath, or, in case of need the 2sh of Feb
ruary" "Trusting to your kindness, Count"
said M. Picard, " l beg you will consent to pro-
long it till the 3Oth." Impossible" replied
the Count q MAY know vonr reasons 2ll asked