Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-01-07
-Aav,s. q ~ ere s.a sha ser ::

lal. Never tryto skate in two directions
at ofiee. This feat has often been at
tempted by new beginners, but never
successfully. II always ends in sorrow.
p Eat a few apples for refreshment
sake while skating, apd De sure 20 throw
the cores on the floor to throw fast ska
ters. Fast skaters are your natural enc
mics, and should not be allowed to enjoy
themselves peaceably. ~ d ~.
81 Spit on the floor occasionally. II
may help some one to fall, and will
show that you are superior to any regard
TO ladies' dresses and TO their silly idea
Of what's mice, Wear your. hat and
cigar-stump as much as you can. IT'S
very creditable to you to own hat, and
smoking is manly accomplishment. III
you run the stump unlit, twill last longer.
A. Sit down occasionally, no matter
where-right in the way of the rest of the
party, if you want to. There is no law
to prevent new beginner from sitting
down whenever he has an inclination to
do so.
S. If you see among the spectators a
lady you know round to- and talk
skate to her. In your conception
of the inexpressible sorrow she must feel
at not being your partner, you will find a
most delightful sensation. If you strike
shore 2 with a resounding jar, II will IN
tensify all this; and if you also crowd the
other skaters, it will give her high
sense of the superiority of your pleasure
over their rights.aur t.lr ~ 81 or
6. When you meeta particularly hand
some lady, try to skate on both sides OF
her at once. This is very pretty, and
sure to create sensation. If the lady s
big brother is in sight it is well to omit
this. ww " -w-
I. Skate over allpthe small boys at
once. Knock EN- down. 1t makes great
fun, and they like it.
s. Ifyou skate into flaw in the floor,
take it amiably. Think how much worse
would be-a sleety pavement for in
stance.
9. If your skates are too slippery, try
another pair. Keep getting fresh skates
till you find pair that are not slippery.
10. Have your skates "oiled very
often. 1t will INDICATE that you know
skates and will enable you to " make a
mark. ~ ''ia'. 'Ai' niA 4in ''-ii' ~
IL. In sitting down, do it gradually.
Don't be too sudden; you may break the
floor.
II. When you fall headlong, examine
the straps Of your skates very carefully
before you get up. This will make every
body think you fell because your skates
were loose. Beginners always do, you
know.
l3. Wear a heavy overcoat or cloak
till you get thoroughly warmed up, and
then throw it off and let the wind cool
you. This will insure you a fine cold
that will last you as long as you live. .,
Ia. After you get so you can skate toll
erably WELL skate yourself sick immedi-
ately. n Don't be reasonable about it;
skate three or four hours, skate frantic
ally, skate till you can't stand up. Do
this every day, and it will be sure to
make you sick at last, and then you may
die. and that will be an excellent thing
it will be such a good example to the rest
of the young people.
Afew simple directions for lady skaters
are added: 1885,.
Scream prettily id passing an air-hole,
and give the arm of Charles Augustus a
frantic squeeze. IL makes him feel his
oats, in a professional way.
If you CONSIDERABLY take the precau-
ton to have your heels cut down, see
that they are still so "raky" that the
heel straps can't-hold. This will give
immense occasion to have your skates
readiusted-your skating partner will
rather like this-and it may impress
other npvices that the skates are at the
bottom OF your awkwardness II. under
these difficulties, you don't find skating
"a thing of beauty and joy forever,
YOU will at least enjoy the placid con-
Seriousness of being even with the skates
by having damaged them to gratifying
extent MISS KEETER.