Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1871-07-19
Wit and Wisdom,

A GOOD side show-A pretty cheek.
The woman queStlon-Is he married
ONE key to Irish grievances Whisky
PATERNA1 aeres-The old mans
| CONS.
ROLLING stock-Capital invested il
bowling alleys.
Row TO keep your head clear-Shave
every hair off.
The man who sat down on an open
paper of carpet nails, said they remind
ed him of the income tdT.
NEVER owe any man more than you
are able to pay, and allow no man to
owe you more than you are able to lose.
The "Descent of Man "-how it hap
pened-" The Monkey married the Ba-
boon's sister"
The man who, by mistake, took a
drink from bottle Of mucilage, says
ne has felt "stuck up" ever since
IF man gets up when day breaks,
can he be said to have the whole day
before him?
WHAT leads people TO buy all sorts
of trash at auctions? More bid curl
Csity.
IF you would lay in supply of old
wine, be sure to make it out Of elder
berries.
The bloom of youth will fade away,
the brightness of the eye will grow dim
with age, but a miserable little corn will
never pass away.
WHY does coat get larger when la
ken ont of a carpet-bag2 Because when
you take it out you'll find it increases
OLD morey bags says that a girl with
an income of So, 900 year or more is
always an object of interest, because
she has SO much principal.
An Irish magistrate censuring some
boys for lettering in the street, said,
eff everybody were to stand in the
streets how could anybody get by?"
A ST.. Louis paper wants ga real
good boy to make a devil Of.
CHICAGO doesn't like the milk it gets.
1t prefers the udder kind.
A ToAsT-Here's to the Three Ages
-Eng-age, Marriage and Dot-age.
Judy.
IF anybody should tell you of your
faults, thank him for the interest which
he takes in you, and knock him down
as politely as possible.
WILL you have me, Sarah 2" said
young man to modest girl "No,
John, but you can have me, ifyou will "
A POET says: ooh, she was fair,
but sorrow came and left it's traces
there" What became of the remainder
of the harness he does not state.
A CoNNEcr1oUT farmer sprinkles his
currant bushes with whisky; the worms
get drunk, drop Off and either break
their necks or cripple themselves SO that
life is burden.
Two CARD playing friends were pass
ing through a pine forest, when one
asked the other this audaclous conun-
drum: 6 Why cannot the proprietor
OF this forest fell his own timber 2"-
g Because no one is allowed to cut
when it is his own deal
The Connersville Gnd. Times tells
of an old rail-splitter in that county
who put a quietus upon young man
who chaffed him about his bald head
in these words: g Young man, when
IL
raise hair to sell "
A TEN-year old miss told her mother
the other day that she was never going
to marry, but meant to be widow be-
cause widows dressed III suGn nice
black, and always looked SO happy.
"YoU'D better look out for your hoss's
feet above here, mister" said a ragged
boy to reading traveller. 'FWhy %
said the gentleman, nervovsly pulling
up. Coos there's fork in the road
there, "sEas the candid reply.
6 o TELL me where is fancy bred?
She asked-and getting bolder,
She placed her little darling head
And chignon on my shoulder.
And L with no more poetry in
My soul than in Quaker's,
Replied with idiotic grin,
you'll find it at the BAKERS"