The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1871-06-15
WHOLE No 146.

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A YANKEES EXPERIENCE IN A Wo<
- MANS RIGHTS CONVENTION. 10
Read before the Delphic Society of Hiram
College, ON the Occasion of its Annual
Meeting in 1870.
Wall, I understood yeou'd been go
ing ont around here some on wo-
mans rights, so thought I'd drap in
and give yeou a little of my expert
ence with the tarnal critters what /
had last fall deoWn in Yarmouth
You see, I'd been deown there in
| Yarmouth selling a superior quality
of soap, warranted tew remove tar,
pitch or paint, on the first application ;
warranted to remove freckels off a
purity gals face on tew applications,
warranted .tew wash Niger into a
white man on three applications and
half, and that's the very reason why
| / didn't have better success selling on
it. If I'd had kind of soap that
would have washed a white man into
a nigger,4 could of sold it like all git
eout. You see they all want to be
niggers down there in Yarmouth, SO
they can. But howsomever, one day
1 happened .tu have a aufurl streak OF
luck I had tn shillens, took it into
my head tn go deown and see an au-
furl rich old Uncle that I'd just heard
tell Of lie lived way deown in the
souwest corner of the State. deown
in Water Mellon Hollar, deown on
Goose Run. They said it was jnst SO
miles, furlongs, 81 rods, 5 yards, II
feet, 2 inches and g by telegraph tu
| his front door. His name is Zepha-
niah Titcumb. He's marm's second
cousins great uncle by her 7th hus-
band. We all call him Uncle Zeph.
Sol went deown; it was about seven
O'Clock in the evening when L got
deown there. 1 axed the landlord ii
he knew Uncle Zeph. He said he
knew him well, and the hole Titcomb
| family tu. He said Uncle Zeph was
] over tn the church, over in the croch
/ of the road, tending a Woman's
Rights Contention. Told him Inev-
er'd heard of that ere anermal afore.
.Axed him if a fellar could git up tn
it and put his hand on it without git
ting bit. He said he guessed the crit
ter had been handled, but it took an
aufurl pluckey fellar tn du it though.
Told him I guessed I'd go over, and
see it tn. So l went over tn the
church. A big nigger stood at the
door with club in his hands.
didn't mind emmy thing abeout him
though. l was going right along in,
when he roked that club right in my
face. Hold on says he, this is Wo-
mans Rights Contention, and yeou
can't go in there till you pay me, tew
shillens. A woman's what? says 1.
A Woman's Rights Contention says
he; place where strong wimmfn
and frail men meet tn assert their
rights. Says /, yeou can count on
me; says 1, l go in for the wimmin
right or rong every day in the week,
Sunday nights and all. With that l
give him SOC counterfeit scrip. He
give me back tew shillin good money
and L entered. They begun tn snick-
er around when / went in; spose they
| thought L was a woman's RICHTER tn ;
| looked all reund tu find seat
couldn't find emmy, so [ squeezed
deown betwixt tew y old wimmin,
right in front of the speekeress. She
looked right deown at me and smiled
i-aufurl sweet. With that / nudged one
of the old wimmin, and axed. her
what the speakeress' name was. She
said her name was Miss Madam Mo-
sella Matilda Ann Snobindodgel.,
! from New York. Lord you ought .tu
seen her rig: She had on pair of
black pants with blue dress over
tom of it. She had her hair all pulled
of somebody's elses hair on top of
fhot haaA 1nn1z 1iHn =
jackolantern under hay stack. Don't
beout through when l arrived, but
one thing she said was, she said that
because the fust woman was born ar
that the wimmin should always go
behind. Another thing she said was,
she said that women was just as capa-
polling in the voters as eny other man.
there was another woman, she got up !;
don't know who she was; took her
tu be the cheer woman, though, lord
YOU ought tu seen her rig tew. She
had on streeked dress with abeout
II 900 yards of red, white and blue
ribbons tackled areound on tu it in
three or four places, tn numerous tu
mention. She had the gaety of Pc
cock, with the boldness of an owl,
and the dignity of a Tomis turkey
goblar long s.beout Matching time
She got up and spoak and said, that
the Contention was open for every
body tu speek that wanted tu. She
said she believed in free speech, free
press and things, and then she sot
.deown. Then one of the old VIM
min that sot aside of me, she got up
so tarnal quick that 1 heard the bot
tom Other dress skirt snap. She said
it did make her feel so young tn see
SO many purity boys and gals come
together in such good cause. She
hoped they'd always continer tu. She
said there was one thing sartain, she'd
always had her rights tu hum, eny
how, and / rather guess she had, tu,
cause Uncle Zeph's folks told me that
the angelic critter3 had follard 6 dear
husbands to the cold and silent tumb.
They died as follows: The 8 first
committed suaside the 4th one, being
of timisum nature, she scarf him tn
death; the 9th one was as bold as
possum in hen rustic, with narves of
fiddle strings, a man who one would
suppose could resist the fircest domes-
tic squall, but, alas, he soon taled.-l
On the Sd mite of his blissful life he |
nohly persisted on his wedding bed
This irresistible woman sowd him up |
in sheet for the purpose of sticking
him full of pins to while away the
lonely hours till morning, but being |
a spirited man he suddenly becum /
dignified, and, in trying tu, kick him
self luse he broke a blood vessel, and
died of an internal rush of blood taj |
the stummerk. The 9th husband, and
happily the last, was a philosopher,
with a head like Dan Webster of old, !
or Brick sPomeroy, the Democratic !,
smasher of meow. This man talked
hisself tu death trying tu reason the
case with her. She is now sloly but
tn work on her 7th, the
day for digging his grave is not fur
in the future, and she will see that the
corps is reddy. She said that she ex-