Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-09-15
THE EDITORS GUESTS.
BY WILL. N. CARLETON.

|
| furrowed with care,
Ilis'mind at the bottom of business his feet at tn
| top of chair.
His chair arm an elbow supporting, his right han
| uphOding his head
His eyes on his dusty old table, with different dot
| uments spread;
underlined capitals topped,
| And a short disquisitiOn from GrOwier requestin
his newspaper stopped
There were lyrics from Gusher the poet, concern
| ing sweet fOwerets and zephyrs,
And a stray gem from Plodder, the farmer, de
scribing a couple of heifers;
| There were billets from beautiful maldens, an
| bills from grocer or two.
| And his best leader hiched to a letter. which in
| a; ired ii he wrote II or who!
There were rapt res Cfpraiscs from writers OF tn
| smooth and metlfons school.
| And ohe of his rivals last papers. Informing mn
| he was tool:
| There were several Ion" resolutions, with name
| telling whom they were by.
| CanOnizim.' some harmless old brother who hat
| done nothing worse than to die;
There were traps on that table to catch him, AM
| sePp .nts to s'inr and to smiie him;
There r. f' enterprises to sell him, and bitten
| att"mptfn.' to bite him:
There were Ion starin" lads" from the city, ant
money with never one.
| Which adced, "Plea>e give this insertion, ant
send in your hill '"' ''f' ~ "
There were lett RS from ORGANIZATIONS their meet
ines. u cir wants and their laws
Which said. ',an y0u print his announcement
for lie ood of our glorious cai sc:''
There tickets nviin his presence to festi
val> parties and shows,
Wrapp, 81 in notes. with "please give us a notice,
demnrely slipped in at the close;
In short. as his eye. took the table, and run oel
its ink spat'ercd trash.
There is n0thin. II did not encounter, excepting
perhaps. 1t was cash.
The editor dreamiy pondered on several ponder
Ous thiiEt
On different lines of action. and the pulling O
dirercnt Strings:
Upon some equiyocal doin.s, and some unequiv
Ocal duns
Or how few of his numerous patrons were quietl!
prumpt-pa yin. ones:
On frienG> who Subscribed '.jrst 10 help him. and
wore encouragement lent,
And had given him plenty of counsel, but never
had paid him cent;
On vinegar hearted people were feeding him every
hour,
Who saw not the work they were Going, but
wondered that "printers are sour
On several iniclli. ent iownsihen. whose kindness
was SO without sI4t,
That tley kept an eye ont on his business, ana
told lin jus, what he should print;
On men who had rendered him favors, and never
pushed forward their claims
So long AZ the paper was crowded with locals coi-
taii.in" their names:
On variors other small matters sufficient his tenn
pr to roll.
And finally coplrivcd to be making the blooc OF
an editor boil.
And so one ma. see that his feelings could hardl.
he said to he smooth.
And h needed some pleasant occurrence his
awnk ed emc1inn to 81 rtie:
lie had il; for 10. on The threshold, slow and
re'ia' le tread.
And farmer invaded his sarctEn', and these are
the words that he >aid:
Good mornn', sir, Mr.. rriater; how is your
body to-day!
I'm & 'ad You're TO home; for you icliers Is arrays
away;
Yonr pap r La week wasn't so spicy nor sharp as
the ore week before;
But'I s'posc when the campaign is opened you'll
he whnopin' II up 10 'em more
That fellow thai's priniin' the "mesht' Is goin
for on prett, smart;
And our folks said this m"rmin' AT breakfast, they
thought lie was geitin' the start.
.'BuI hush 'em up in mint. and said good
word tor you:
told EN- Ii lieycd you was tryin tn do just as
well as you knew:
And told Them that some one was sayin and
whoever twas il il so,
That YOU cant expect much of no one man, nor
blame him for wiiai he don't know.
Bat, layin aside s"se for business, I've bro't
YOU my little hoy Jim.
And thought would see if you couldn't make
an editor Outcn o him.
My family stock is iucrcasin' while other folks
seem To rtn short
I've got rirht smart of Il familyit's one of tie
There's Ichahod. Isaac ard Isrul, workin' away
on the farni-
IhGy 90 DOut as mncn as bhfffUu DOS-aHu Hldhc
things 20 of like charm
There's Moses and Aaron are sly ones, and slip
like couple of eels
But they're tol'abe steady in one thing-they
al'ays get rouud to their meals.
There's Peter is busy inventin' Though "haf he
invents l can't sce),
And Joseph is studyin' medicine-and they're
both of them boardin with me.
There's Abram and Albert are M rried, each
workin my lnrm for hiniscl.
And Sam smashed his nose ut the shOOtin', and
he is laid on the shelf
The rest OF the boys are all CROWN, cept this lit
tie runt, which is Jim;
And thought perhaps I'd be making an editor
outen o him.
"He amt no great shakes for labor, though I've
labored with him good DEAL
And give him some strappin' good arguments
know he couldn't help but to feel;
But he's built out of second class timber, and
nothin about Kim Is BIZ,
EXceptiu' his appetite only, and there he's IA
good AS a pig.
Il keep him carryin' lunchcons, and film ant
And ,a.. aim alnon. the peratocs, and set him tt
pi,hin' Tie bus ;;
And ticn Here IL t.i- to he adoin hcl ping tl.t
w,.h.e.i ii doors
There ei Rim .hu washing of dishes, and othc
desert l,iion oi chores.
But he ao. TAX 10 notili. hut viciuals and he
never lie much IN, airaiG;
So | Thought !, wOdli he a -uod notion to Learn
him The ediiOr's tra,.e.
His boas'. 100 snali lor iarmcr, hs judgment il
rather t"" eiini,
! b., though, we perhups could be maxim. an cd
itor Outen o him.
at amt much to get up paper-it wouldn't TAXI
lin Tong tor TO lc.r.;
He could tcc,. The machine, | am thukin', will
some good sirapIih ielluw 10 ttr:
And thin Hat once Lard in dom is easy
cuou. h to do
J.ist keep an eye on your machinery. and cracl
Your arranl ements ri ht through.
used Tor 10 wonder al reatiin', aud when ii wal
got up and how;
But tits Most of il made by machinery SEE
il all plain enough how
And poetry, too, is constructed by machinery o
different dcsi. rs.
Each one with guage and a chopper to see to Tho
len. ia OF the lit-cs;
Aud hear Il New York cairvoyant is runnn. one
slIckcr than crease,
And Il t,Hn' ler hcayen-born productions at
couple OF dollars apiece,
An since the whole trade has crown easy, twoult
be cas-. enough, I've whm.
II you was a reed, TO be making an editor outer
Of jim"
The editor rat in his sanctum and loo kcd the OLE
man III tlee.c.
Then lauced at the trimming young Hopeful, ant
mOurnitlly made l'is reply:
"Is your son II small unbound cGi'ion of Moses
and Solomon botis
Can he compass hie spirit with meckness. nnt
strun lie natural oath?
Can he leave all his WRONGS to the future, ant
carry his heart in il check!
Can he do an hours work in minute, and lirt
on siApnnce week.
Can he courteously talk 10 an equal, and brow
beat an impud'.nt Ounce.
Can he keep things in apple pie order, and do hal
adoZcn al once:
Can he press all the springs of knowledge will
a. ick and reliable touch!
| And be sure that he knows how much To know ant
.o. "s how to not know too much:
Does he know how to spur up his virtue and pn
check rein on Ills pride?
Can he carry II "cutcman's manners within
rhinocrros hide:
| Can he know al, and do all. and he all. will
cEeerfalncss. COURAGE and vim!
If 80 we perhaps can he maxim an editor outer
of him."
| The farmer stood curiously listening. while won
der Ills visage O'erspread.
| And he said. Jim, guess wen be goin'; he'
probably ont of his head"
But, 10! the rckcty staircase, another reliabl,
| tread.
And entered another old farmer, and these are tn,
words that he said:
| GOOD morning, sir. Mr.. Editor; how is theA folk
to-day!
owe You for next years paper; thought II
| come in and iay.
And JOnc. Is agOin to take It, and this IL his mo
ney here;
shut down on lcndin' il to him, and then coaxct
him TO try il a year.
And here II few little items that happened las
week in our town;
thought they'd look good for the paper, SO jus
jotied them down. -
| And here is basket of cherries my wife picket
expressly for You,
| And small bunch of flowers from Jennie-sh,
| THOUGHT she must send sOmethn' too.
You're doin' the politics bully, rs all Of our fam
lily agree;
| 'em good one for me.
| And now YOU are chuck fnll Of business, and