The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1871-05-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

VIII AMI W4oUVM'
To add 10 f0rtune-advertiee
HOTEL courtesy-inn-attention
CURE for brain on 6re---bloW il out.
A WORD to .be people il debt--get out.
A BRASS and iron is made Of brass and
iron.
SOss Of the billiard baII--"Ob, Carcm
me back 7"
SoROsIs women declare they won't wear
dresses any longer.
A GENTLEMAN travelling 10 ireland said
70 very impOrtunate beggar-
"You have lost all your teeth"
"An' it's time parted with um, when
I'd nothing tor um 70 do" replied the
beggar. 4..a.
THAI man" said q wAg. "came to
Nashua forty years ago. purchased bas-
ket and commenced gathering rags. How
uurh do you suppose be Is worth nOwi"
Il was a conundrum we could not answer.
Nothing" be continued after q pause.
'and be ewes for the basket"
"You haven't got such thing as pair
% cid trcwsers, have you?" ''No, my
man, said the merchant, II don't keep my
wardrobe in my counting house" "Wbere
DO you live n rejOined Pat, ''and I'll call
in the morning for the ould pair you've got
on.''
fHERE is story told Of the officers Of
British ship dining with q mandarin at
Canton. One Of the guests wished a sec
ond helping Of sayOry stew. which be
thought was some sort Of dock. Not
knowing q word Of Chinese, be held bis
plate to the host, saying, with smiling ay-
prOval "Quack : qasck quask {" I'm
agiDe how his eOuDteDance fell when the
host, pointing 70 the dish. responded, Bow.
WOW, WOW y :. .l... .f..- LIS
A TAX PAYER observed q stone roll down
staircase. Il bumped on every stair till
il came TO tbe bottom, there Of course il
rested. THAT stone" said he, s'resembIes
the national debts Of my country; il has
bumped on every grade Of the country but
its weight rests on the lowest"
A NICELY DRESSED young gentleman en-
tered barber shop in some bat retired
portion Of The city few days ago, for the
purpose of getting shaved The tOnsorial
artist spit ON the brush and proceeded 70
lsther, when be was stopped by the horror
stricken customer, who inquired what be
meant by splitting on bis brush. "Why,"
said the barber, saint you n gentleman ~
"Yes," replied the stranger. "WeH,"
said the barber, that's the way We treat
gentlemen il rough comes in, We Just
merely spit on bis face"
A WEsrERN lover says Of bis paEtars
from bis sdOred one: Her last words fell,
like great rocks, into the sea of my sorrows,
and splasbed the briDy water into my eyes,
After few weeks revival in a church
at Center Point, Iowa, a collection was
taken Up for the benefit Of the preacher, d
poor man from abroad. All told, the col
lection amounted 10 one dollar and ninety
seven cents. Let us sing. "0hI I'm glad
salvation's free" -aH
A NEwARK editor accounts for q con.
temporary wearing o clean shirt by Saying
that wrecks have been numerous On the
Jersey coast
A STEWARD on an Ohio nver steamer
was addressed BY an uneasy and excited
individual, who wanted bIm 70 put some
BODY off the boat. The candid4te for a
foEcibIe disembarkmsnt was pointed Out, but
the steward could see nothing 0ut o. the
way. "You don't, eh p Don't you see
man sitting there huggiDg a woman 2"
"Well, yes. |" replied the steward "but
what of tbst2 Hasn't q fellow ripht 70
embrace bis wife2 "That's just What
want you to rum bim out for, replied The
stranger, dancing around that's my wife,
and I've stood il 50 long that I've rot
mad -
Too MUcH YoR Hm-A correspondent
q Christians. PennsylvaDis, sends us the
following Of 90 sged negFess, very pious. an
inyeterats smoker, who dropped in TO paya
visit 70 a AneigbbOr, who was equally we'll
known as temperance man and batter Of
tobacco On setting down, the old annty
pulled from her pocket long pipe and
commenced smoking. to The iufnits dieQust
Of her host. Tne man maintained BIS con-
Posure several minntes; but the fumes be-
came too powerful for him, and rising, he
said "Aunt Chloe. do you think you are
Chsistisns" Yes. brrdder; specsss Z
~ DO yOn balisve i'm the Bible ?"
Yes, brudder. do you know there ID 4
passage there which says that nothing M
clean shall inherit the Kingdom Of heaven ~
Yes, Ihas heard or Il" do y6 L--
hsss fr'u sYes" Wen, Chiou, YOU
eaasob eaaer into the kingdom Of heaven,
beause there u no thing 20 uncIean as tbs
b, cath OF smoker. What do you say to
ssstf "Why, when I % 70 bsavsn, /
sPeeks to leass wg breff behind mel'' HI
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