The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-04-13
Mark THafn's First Experience an AN
" Editor.

- EdatOr.
Twas yery smart child at the age Of
.hirteen-an unusually smart child, !
Thought at the time. 1t was then tnab
did my first newspaper scr1boling, ana,
most Unexpectedly to me, it stirred UP
tns sensation in the community. 1t did
indeed. and was very proud Of 1t, too.
was a printers "deyil," and pro-
rressiyc and aspiring one. My uncle bad
me on his paper (the Weekly Hannibal
Jo,trnol-$2 year, in advance-5OO sub
scribers. and they paid in cord-wood, cab
hace. and unmarketable turnips), and on
lucky summers day he left town to be gone
a week, and asked me if I thought ] could
edit one issue of the paper judiciously. All,
didn't want to try! Hinton was the editor
OF the rival paper. he had lately been
Tilted. and one night friend found an open
note on the poor fellows bed, in which he
stated that ne could no longer endure life,
and had drowned himself in Bear creek.
The friend ran down there, and discoy-
cred Hinton wading back to shore! He
had concluded he wouldn't. The village
was full Of il for several days, but Hinton
did not suspect it. thought this was
fine opportunity. wrote an elaborately-
wretched account of the whole matter, and
then illustrated it with villainous cuts en-
craved on the bottoms OF wooden type with
II js
ton wading out into the creek in his shirt,
with lantern, sounding the depth of the
water with walking-stick. / thought it
was desperately funny, and was densely I'M
conscious that there was any moral obliGuity
about such a publication. Being satisfied
with the effort, / looked around for other
worlds to conquer, and it struck me that
it would make good, interesting matter
to charge the editor OF neighborlng
country paper with piece of gratuitous
rascality and "see him squirm!' l did
it, putting the article into the form of
n parody on the burial Of "Sir John
Moore" and pretty crude parody it was,
TOO. Then i lampooned two prominent
citizens outrageously-not because they
had done anything to deserve it, but merely
because thought it was my duty to make
the paper lively. Next gently touchedup
the newest stranger-the lion of the day,
Quincy. He was a simpering coXcomb OF
the first water, and the "loudest "-dressed
man in the State. He was an inveterate
woman-killer. Every week he wrote lushy
poetry" to the Journal about his newest
conquest. His rhymes for nv week were
headed "To Mary in R-l,' meaning TO
Mary in Hannibal, OF course. But when
setting up the piece / was suddenly riyen
from head to heel by what I regarded rs a
pressed it into snappy foot-note at the
bottom-thuS: eve will let this thing pass,
just this one but we wish Mr.. j. Gordon
Runnels to understand that we have q
character to sustain, and from this time
forth when he wants to commune with his
friends in HI he must select some other
medium than the columns of this jour-
nall"
The paper came out, and never knew
L. nnk t<1x,t
those playful trifles Of mine. For once the
Hannibal Journal was in demand-a Dov-
city it had net experienced before. The
whole town was stirred. Hinton dropped
in with double-barreled shotgun early in
the forenoon. When he found that it was
IN infant Gas he called me) that had done
him the damage, he simply pulled my ears
and went away but he threw up his stu
alton that night and left town for good
The tailor came with his goose and a pair
of shears; but he despised me, too, and
departed for the South that night. The
two lampooned citizens came with threats
OF libel, and went away incensed at my in
significance. The country editor pranced
in with war whoop next day, suffering
for blood to drink, but ended by forgiving
ME cordially and inviting me down to the
drug store to wash away all luminosity in u
friendly bumper Of " Fahnestock's Vermi-
tuge." 1t was his little joke.
My uncle was very angry when he got
back, unreasonably so, thought, consid-
ering what an impetus l had given the pa
per, and considering, also, that gratitude
for his preservation ought to have been up
permost in his mind, inasmuch as by his de-
lay he had so wonderfully escaped dissec.
ton, tomahawkng, libel, and getting his
head shot OIL. But he softencd when he
looked at the accounts and saw that I actu-
10 I'LL q
thirty-three new subscribers, and had the
vegetables to show for it-cord-wood, cab.
bage, beans, and unstable turnips eronrh
to run the family for two years.