The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-01-11
EGoTIsTIgAL CoNvERsA-
TI0N.
FROM the rhiiadsiphis Public Ledger,

=
The subject of ones self, that is,
of ones own virtues and faults, likes
and dislikes, hopes and fears, success
es and failures, doubts and uncertain
ties, is naturally most engrossing
theme, and one occupying large
share of nearly every persons
thoughts But how farit is wise to
introduceit as topic of general
conversation, is a probl IN which great
" Affects social enjoyment and one
which all Who desire tn confer pleas.
-ure by their society will do well tc.
examine. There are times when
personal affairs are, the most fitting
themes for discussion, when freely
and naturally 70 communicate to an
othes what lies nearest to ones own
heart and interests, will awaken q
sympathy and cement o friendship
that could not well be spared. The
man Who never unbosolns himself to
any one, who shuts himself and all
his intimate concerns away from the
sympathy of mankind, may be sur
rounded by acquaintances, but will
never have q friend. and must be
content to lose some OF the most
pleasurable and natural passages OF
life.
This mutual and sympathetic con
idenca between congenial and faith
full friends il something wholly differ
ent trnm the habit, SO common with
many, of constantly. introducing
themselves or their families, their
outside interests or. their inner feelings
in conversation with those who can
not be supposed to entertain any
special interest in such matters. =
There are spme whose whole object in
their social intercourse seems to be
Es,lf-dis2lav. Every topic started re-
uinda them Of some passage in their
Pown livss, which they hasten to repeat;
they arc ready to give to all who will
listen, the history OF their daring ex.,
ploits, their bold strokes of business,
their successful specuiations, their
unlucky fixtures even TO confess
their peculiar temptations and weak
nesses, or to recount their special
tastes and preferences. When from
any reason they are deprived of the
power of thus exhibiting themseIye,
they are vacant. dull and uninterest.
ed. Society to them is only desirable
as it affords aia opportunity to imprint
themselves upon If. :s
The extreme exhibition of this
egotism is so unwelcome that society
herself puts q check upon it, and
those who yield unreservedly to its
indulgence are sometimes forced into
seH-restraint by rough, though whole
some, lessons yet there are few OF US
who can claim entire freedom from
Its enticements, and many who have
learned in some degree to subdue the
inclination to talk of themselves, still
fail TO realize the vital interest in 9th ;
er subjects which alone can develope
the true value of conversation. Ey-
cry one who rningIes in society has
the double privilege of receiving and
conferripg pleasure. Both these OBJ
jects are frustrated by a love of
dwelling too much upon self. The
subjsci is one which x5ids the freel
OF thonght- Indeed moth
ing can be done but listen reluctantly
to one who persistentlY talks OF him-
self. Politeness enforces the hiding
Of candid opinion, while he chains !
down both his own and his hearers /
intelligence TO the leyel Of. his own
personality. All this deadens the
viyaeity and dulls the brightness that