The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1871-08-30

| \""' VII ofSi lhC oouNHSiu pCpplS.
Starving gender, cause it has well
nigh starved out the South, in the
objective case and governed by lazy
freedmen.
Tcaoher--Ncxt, parse Fashion.
Pupil-Fashion is tyrannical noun
of the common gender.
Teachor-Catiish and blundcrbus-
SOS what's that, sir
Pupil Fashion is tyrannical
noun, cause it must be obcyed. and
laughs at a poor mans purse common
gender, 'causc all people bow to it, it
is compounded of hounces, tlimsics
famsics, rntlles; scuiiles, bubbles,
troubles, ruffs, cuffs, snuffs, higglcs,
giggles, sniggles wrigglcs, curls, furls,
hairs, snares, Grccian bend, fuss and
feathers. 1t was once in the object
i've case and governed Eugcnie, but is
now the nominatiye case independ~
cnt.
Teacher-Go home, sir, and 60 to
bed.
Toachcr-Noxt, parse baby.
Pupil-Baby is an obstrcperous,
musical noun of the neuter gender.
Tcacher-Moses and prophets save
us from destruction What do you
say you little imp?
| Pupil is musical noun, cause it
sings soft tune between midnight
and day, especially of cold night
it is ncuter gender, 'cause it's neither
male nor female till its big enough
to wear brceches. 1t weighs accord
ing to size, and measures according
to proportions. Is compounded of
milk and lungs, and especially Of
lungs, grows at rapid rate, and soon
learns to smoke cigars, drink spirits
talk short to dad, and makes love to
the gals. 1t is also Of The spoilt gen
der, cause it is allowed to pat it's foot
in the gravy whenever it chooses, is ia
the objective case and governed by
candy and sugar-plums.
Toachcr-Go home, sir, and tell
your mother to rock you to sleep.
Tcachcr-Parsc matrimony.
Pupil -Matrimony is an ancient
noun of the dcfunct gender.
Teacher-licrc him You little
vagabond, what do you say
Pupil-Matrimony is of the de-
funct gender, cause it's played out
Girlsssar plentiful as black-berries,
but they've got nothing, they toll
not neither do they spin, yet Solomon
in all his glory couldn't dress like
'em. Matrimony is compounded of
the words. mate and money, but When
there's match nova. days, it is moth
ing without the money. Third per.
son, cause it's spoken Of much by the
girls in the objective case, and gov.
erncd by the spopdooliks Of the girls
daddy.
Tcacher-Takc back seat, sir, and
rub your head with brick
Teacher--Parse kissing.
Pupil-l\issing is common, labial
noun of explosive gender.
Teacher-Snakes, alive ! What do
you mean
Pupil-Kissing is the explosive
gender, 'cause it is usually attended
with various explosive sounds some-
times like the bursting of tor pcdo !;
sometim es like the sucking of calf :;
som ctimes like unto weeping, or ia
cob kissed Rachel and lifted up his
voice and wept. 1t is common, 'cause
it is peculiar to all sexes and ages,
specially to young girls, preachers
and widowcrs. kissing is derived
from bussing and of vario:s kinds.
lst. There's Rebus, which is bussing
again. ID. There is Omnibus, which
is bussing all tho gals in the room
Sd. There's blunderbuss, which is one
man kissing another mans wife and
and 4th. There's syllabus, which is
one girl kissing another girl, where
so many boys arc spiling for buss.
1t is second persons, 'cause it takes
two persons to perform the operation
plural number, cause they generally
take moro than one when they got a
chance-it is in the objective case
and governed by surrounding circum-
stances.
| Just here the teacher and vast au.
ditory broke down. A bevy of red
headed girls rushed upon the rostrum
and demanded that the little imps be
hung instantcr, if not sooner, and or
dor was restored till tho Marshal as
sured them that all the little repro
bates should be hung at sunrise next
morning. The teacher was taken of
on window shuttcr.- Correspondent
Of atlanta Consultation.
Damage 10 the Rice Crops on the 0gechcc
| and Savannah Rivers.
| We learn from the Savannah Ad.