Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1871-04-14
My First Experience i'm Journalism.
by MARX TWAIN.


thirleen-an unusually smart child, j
thought at the time. IL was then that
did my first newspaper scribbling, and
most unexpectedly to me, it stirred up
/ fine sensation in the community 1t did
indeed, and | was very proud Of it, too.
was a printers devil" and pro-
gressive and aspiring one. My uncle had
me on his paper CHE weekly Hanni-
bal Journal, y two dollars a year in ad-
vance--500 subscribers, and they paid in
cord.wood, cabbages and unmarketable
turnips-and on lucky sammer's day
he left town TO be gone week, and ask
ed me if thought could edit one issue
of the paper judiciously. All, didn't l
want TO try Hinton was the editor of
the rival paper. He had lately been
Tilted, and one night friend found an
open note on the poor fellows bed, in
which he stated that he could no longer
endure life and had drowned himself in
Bear Creek. The friend ran down there
and discovered Hinton wading back to
shore He had concluded he wouldn't.
The village was full of it for several
days, but Hinton did not suspect it. |
thought this was fine opportunity. l
wrote an elaborately wretched account of
the whole matter, and then illustrated it
with villainous cuts engraved on the bot
tom of wooden type with a jack. kuife--
one of them picture Of Hinton wading
out into the creek in his shirt, with a
lantern, sounding the depth of the water
with walking-stick. / thought it was
desperately funny, and was densely un-
conscious that there was any moral OBJ
liquity about such publication. Being
satisfied with this effort, / looked about
for other worlds to conquer, and itstruck
me that it would make good interesting
matter to charge the editor Of neigh
boring country paper with piece Of
gratuitous rascality and see him
squirm Y ! did it, putting the article
into the form of parody on the Buri-
raj of Sir John Moore"--and a pretty
crude parody it was, too. Then | lam
pooned two prominent citizens outra-
geously-not because they had ne any
thing to deserve it, but merely because /
thought it was my duty to make the pa
per lively. Next l gently touched up
the newest stranger-thc lion of the day
the gorgeous journeman tailor from Quin.
cy. He was asimpering coxcomb of the
first water and the "loudest" dressed
man in the State He was an invete-
rata woman -hater Every week he wrote
iushy poetry for the "Journa" about
his newest conquest. His rhymes for
my week were headed Mary in H."
meaning Mary in Hannibal, of course.
But while setting up the piece ] was sud
denly riven from head to heel by what l
regarded as a perfect tbunderbolt of bu-
NOR, and compressed it into snappy
foot-note at the bottom, thus: "We will
let this thing pass, just this once but we
wish Mr.. j. Gordon Rannels to under
stand distinctly that we have charac.
ter to sustain, and from this time forth,
when he wants to commune with his
friends in n--l he must select some other
medium than the columns of this jour-
nalp
The paper came out, and never
knew any little thing attract so much at
tention as those playful trifes of mine.
For once the Hannibal Journal was
in demand-a novelty it had not expe-
rienced before. The whole town was
stirred. Hinton dropped in with doub-
le-barreled shotgun early in the loren. on
, When he found that it was an infant Gas
he called me) that had done him the dam
age, he simply pulled my ears and went
, away but he threw up his situation that
night and left town for good. The tall
or came with his goose and pair Of
, shears; bat he despised me, too, and de-
, parted for the South hat night. The tao o
! lampooned citizens came with threats Of
, libel, and went away incensed at my in
: significance. The country editor pranc-
ed in with war-whoop next day, suffer
ing for blood TO drink; but he ended by
forgiving me cordially and inviting me
down to the drug store TO wash away all
, animosity in friendly hamper of " Fa-
hnestock's Vermifuge." 1t was his lit
{ lie joke.
E My uncle was very angry when he got
, back k-unreasonably SO, thought, con.
: sidering what an impetus had given
the paper, and considering also that graf
+, ilude for his preservation ought to have
been uppermost in his mind, inasmucb
: as by his delay he bad so wonderfully
D escaped dissection, tomahawking. libel,
and getting his head shot off. But he
so tened when he looked at the accounts
and saw that had actually booked the