The Placer herald., 1871-01-14
FHITE HOUSE, WASHINGTON, !
DECEMBER siventeen

I
December seventeen.
OcH HONE! WHIST ME DAR1INa Kape
aisy now until | am afiher telling yez how
we come it over Conkln', the S;nator from
New York. Ye mind am about to pub
ilsl me lethers to yer paper in the form of a
book. There are many causes combined
that induced me to pubIish it, the principal
won of which was to presint to an appracia-
tive public a complete hi:htory of the doings
of
ME COUSIN ULIssEs
since he grasped the rens Of the Government
team to drive on the four year track. Av
coorse, the idea Of making money be selling
the books niver entered me head, as it would
be benath the dignity of a Grant to proshli-
tute his talents for ony sordd dollar and half
copy. Och, to be shure it would So in
asnuch as didn't expect to make onything,
av coorse, it could not be expected Of me to
pay the poshtage on the books snt to pur-
chasers, and as me Cousin Ulisses said it was
aisy to sind public documents be mail be get
ting mmber of Congress to frank them,
thought there would be no trouble at all.
But, be jabers, it was not az aisy as ye
moight think. axed more nor forty
sINAToRs AND THINGS
for their franks, and they were all engaged
Ovid Butler said he would be mosht happy to
accommodate mesilf, seeing was rilative
of the Government. but he had lent his frank
to a gentleman at New Bedford, Mass, who
used it to stamp Goldfish to sind to market be
mail. Thin axed Hooper, of Utah, for his
frank but he told me it was mkt to imposhi-
BILE for him to accommodate me, as this sea-
son of the year great numbers of recruits
were arriving from Europe on the way to
Salt Lake, and he had lint his frank to
Brigham Young's agent at New York to sind
fsmale mormons from there to
BRIGHAMs BOSOM
at Salt Lake be mail free Of expense. Thin
| went to Kelly, of Pinnsylvania, and axed
him would he sind me book to famishing
subscribers under his frank, and begorra he
towld me he had his frank engaged night
and day, mailing pig iron from Lake Supe-
rior to the rowling mills of pennsylvania, and
whin he could shpare it an hour it was gradi-
ly snapped up by his constituents to mail
carloads of Lackawanna coal TO the New
York market, but as the miners was on
shtrike, he thought perhaps about Christmas
could get it for a couple of days. Sinator
Conklin', of New York, said Mr. Greedy used
bis frank to sind strawberry plants to sub
scribers to his paper, and even if it wasn't in
use at all, he wouldn't lend it to ony lrishman
in America, if he was a rlative of Queen
Victoria. towld me cousin Of this insult to
our family, and he wrote a lether to Conk
lin telling him if he didn't allow me to use
his frank to mail mt book he would appoint
new man to he New York Custom House
and Conklin shouldn't have word to say
about ony Government appointment hereafter
This schared him, he towld me could have
his
FRANK OR HIS CLOTHES,
or anything he had. So those who order me
book will have the pleasure of seeing the frank
of Senator Conklin' from wan end of it till
the other, and thus save hape of stamps for
me- There is nothing like shtrategy to work
on those chaps.
Well, we have at lasht got the English
mission off our hands, though divil the cint
did we get in cash at all, at all. Be jabers
we didn't get a dacent offer for it. We
thought at won time we had shplendid Of
fer, but careful investigation proved that it
was the
wIcKEDEsT KIND OF FRAUD.
Ye see, man towld me cousin Ulsses
that if ho would appoint him to the Office he