St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1871-04-14
HltlROl'SONlc.

chin ov life and thus iengthcns i'll. BrLSGs.l
Several years ago the following erra-
tum appeared in a country newspaper
For commissioning porringers,' read
Notwithstanding lozcngcs.'
A boy eight years old, in one Of our
public schools, having been told that
reptile ''is an animal that crecps," on
being asked to name one on cXamina-
ton day, promptly replied, ''lhe baby.
'Miss, will you take my arm ," asked
an old bachelor. 'La. yes, and you
to-" said the young lady. "Can only
spare the arm, Miss" hastily replied the
bachelor Then" laid Miss, 81 can't
take it, as my motto is to 90 the whole
hog or none ut all
\ clever repartce is attributed 10 the
member from MormondOm in the new
Congress. A brother member asked
him how many wives he had. Enough
to keep me from running after other pco-
pies" he promptly replied.
The bay-window season Is upon It's
again, says the Titusville Pa. Herald.
One architect recently completed Il de-
sign for barn and hcn-house with six
bay windows in each. Carpenters now
contract only for the bay-windows, and
throw in the rest of the house
A COW in Bucks county, Pa, about
twelve years ago, swallowed leather
nail pouch. Recently she was slaugh-
tered, and the stomach bcin" opened, the
pouch was found uninjurel, and in it a
dozen nails She hadn't lost one. Good
COW.
The Rev. DIR. West, of New Bedford,
once heard that his choir would refuse
to sing ON the next Sunday. When the
day came he gave out the hymn Come
we who love the lord" After reading ii
through he looked up very emphatically
at the choir, and said: "You will be
gin at the second verse. Let those re-
fuse to sing who never knew our God -
The choir sang.
In one of the joss" houses in this
city, says Il Sacramento paper, there are
images of the proprictors oi the tnioA
"a rival papcr) before which the Chinese
PROSTATE themselves, eXclaiming: ''Ilcap
good dcbblc! Muchcc good dcbble
Belly good debb!e. Alice same biz
Chinese debblc." Which, for Il neat
thing on the tmon, will do very we'll.
y rich but ignorant lady of Boston,
who was ambitious that her conversation
should DC up to the transcendental style,
in speaking OF a friend, snid: Gle Is y
PHaIrom Of politenc>S.' ''EXcu$c me,
said Il wag sitting next TO her: ''but do
you not mean parallclogram ~ "Ot
course | mean parallelogram," replied
the ambitious lady; chow could have
made such Il mistake ,"
A correspondent of the Scientific
American writes that he has seen :!
steam boiler advertised which saves IS
per cent OF fuel valve which saves II
per cent; Il governor which saves 10 per
cent Il cutoff which saves 10 per cent :
4 fire crate which saves 20 per cent
metal packing AMI dampcr-regulator
which saves Il per cent and 4 lubrica-
tor which will save one per ccnt-mak-
inc in all a saving of 10l per cent. Com
bining all these improvements, an engine
would, he thinks, run itself, and produce
an additional one per cent of fuel. which
might be used for domestic purposes
A good story is told of old JOHNNY Me-
Gill, who resided during the war in East
Tennessee. Guerrillas representing both
- l,t f,rc., 10,
region that it was dangerous 10 belong
to either side. At last McGill was over
taken by party whose politics he could
not even guess at, and the following dia-
loguc cnsucd: "Sir, are you Il Union
man ?" "No, sir" replied McGill.
"Arc you rebel, then - ''No, sir. -
''Thcn what in the devils name are you -
roarcd the captain. "Wcll, sir" hcsita-
ted McGill, "to tell truth, I'm nothing
and but darncd little of that"
An Iowa editor has got himself into
difficulty by neglecling the Scripture in
junction. ''Beware Of dogs" Some
time since he advertised that lie would
take "a good dog in payment for year:
subscription" The next day twenty.
three dogs were taken to his Office, and
a score or more Of farmers, living at dis
tanccs from eight to twenty miles, ap.
pearcd to subscribe for the paper, tender
ing dogs in payment. And TO cap III,
climax, the mayor OF that city has notl
fled him that the tax of 81 must be pail
on every dog owned in the place. lie
is in despair.