The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05

/ bih BuiollCO nliuScll ia tnO h6AlCdu wal.
After the capture of the City of Mex
leo, he was wont to empty his trunk in
adorning his person before calling up
on Guadaloupe, and while so doing
would stir up his enthusiastically recit.
ing poetry, much to the wrath and dis
gust of his brother officers, who had
no loves. One day while. dressing he
roared out:
"At midnight, in his guarded tent,
The Turk lay dreaming of the hour
When Greece, her knees"
Il say, Reid, interrupted Ned Mar
shall, "why did they grease her knees p
"WhatHs
"You said grease her knees Now,
the question that agitates the country
is, why did they grease her kness?'
The gay lieutenant gazed for mo.
ment in blank amazement, then said
sternly:
"You're fool"
A duel was the consequence, in
which Ned Marshall got the worst OF
it.
Cousin Norma is responsible for the
following concerning Jim Smith and
Johnny Greene, who after having had
grand bout one night, concluded to
60 home. Arriving at Smiths house.
which they knew by some popularity
that even drunken man couldn't mis-
take, they commenced to shout:
"Missus Sum-hic-mith Ho, Mis-
sus-mithp
"What do you want. you drunken
brutes |" shouted Mrs. Smith from the
! window,
"Ern yourn Miss NTH p
eyes anu. Who are you and what
do you want ?"
"Ef yer Missus Sum-hic-ith,
cSTse ere and pick out Missur Smith,
for JohSuy Greene wants to go-ome."
A member If the Arkansas Legisla-
ture, who goes fSr economy ia public
expenditure, in speaking of an ex-
travagant appropriation, Indignantly
exclaimed: Gentlemen, talk about
adequate compensation Of public SER
wants. Why, sir, during the late war
was in thirty-seven battles, was
wounded thirteen times in the cause
of the South, and the entire pay 1 re.
$50 in Confederate money, every cent
of which gave for one glass of old
rye whisky" b.7 ga7
A down East farmer, known far and
wide by his patriotic title-had a
neighbor who was in the habit of work.
ing on Sundays, but after while this
Sabbath breaker Joined the church
One day our friend met the minister
to whose church he belonged, "Well,
Uncle Sam" said he, "do you see any
difference in r. since he joined the
church ?" "Oh yes" said uncle Sam,
ga great difference. Before, when he
went out to mend his fences on Sunday
he carried his axe on his shoulder, but
now be carries it under his coat"
Miss Jane, daughter, and Mrs. Ava,
wife of Brigham Young, have been
stopping at Saratoga for a few days.
The Saratoga Sun says: "The wife is a
fair, wholesome looking woman, and
the daughter really a beauty, She is
of good size, fair complexion, rosy
cheeks flashing dark eyes, plump,
pretty figure, pouting cherry red lips,
which gave at least one Saratoga young
man good, healthy, fragrant, sweet
smack right on the mouth at parting.
We learned that Miss Jane was not
dauohtar IN Mrs Ayo
Some time since a Northern Yer
mont clergyman visited New York,
and was invited to fill city pulpit
He knew nothing about quartette
choirs, and had never heard a church
organ. After the first hymn showed
him what the organ prelude was, he
announced the second as follows: "The
audience will now join with me in
singing good old Methodist hymn,
and those fellows running that bag of
wind in the gallery will please not in
terrupt."
A short time since Z. L. Hawley,
baggage master on the express train
on the Hartford and New Haven
railroad, was badly injured by heavy
trunk falling upon him. His wife was
so affected by the news sent by tele-
graph that she dropped dead. The
unfortunate and doubly afflicted man
was taken to his dosolate home, where
within weeks time he witnessed the
death of his only child.
DIR. G., of Sycamore, Illinois,
riding IN the country saw sign
upon gate-post, reading thus: "This
farm for sail" Stopping his horse, he
hailed little woman who stood on
tiptoe, hanging out clothes. 81 say,
madam, when is it going to sail :"
"Just as soon," replied the old lady,
placing her thumb to her nose, "as
anybody comes along who can raise
the wind" The doctor drove thought
fully on.
One Of our modern poets has the
following fine line; "Oh, she was fair,
but sorrow came and left its traces
there I" What became of the remain
der of the harness ne does not state.
A CURIOUS CAsE.-The gentleman
whose countenance fell on hearing of
the loss Of his property, is beginning
IN nick nm 81 hit and bonaa soon ~