The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1871-07-01
=" Natril History"
ABSTRACT OF JOSH BILLINGS LECTURE ON
THIS TOPIC.

ABSTRACT OF JOSH BILLINGS LECTURE ON
THIS TOPIC.
Natural history is the science above. All
things that crawl, swim, fly, creep or wig
gle have biography. Although the ant
is several sizes smaller than the elephant,
it has the same biography as he has. The
instincts of animals are their biography
The cockroach is a bug of large size. He
is easy to domesticate, and yields gracefully
to ordinary kindness. He is one of a
numerous family, and may often be seen
with the naked eye climbing the sugar
bowl. He is born on the first of Nav and
the first of September, semi-annually, and
is ready for use in fifteen days. Their food
does not seem to be so much what they eat
as what they get into.
There is nothing more interesting to
notice than rooster. He is the prize
fighter of birds. BOOSTERS, as class, do
but little household work. They employ
their time in Growing and strutting.
The bugbear comes from an imaginary
egg, and is Matched in an imaginary man.
ner. They are composed of the bug and
the bear. They are like young wild
pigeon, the biggest when they are BORN
Bugbears are plenty in this world, but
nobody ever sees them except those who
arc looking for them.
The lecturer then read an essay on kiss
ing. The only way to deserve kiss, he
said, was to take one, and then SIT down
and sing. Kissing an unwilling pair of
lips has but little poetry in it. Kissing,
like other good things, is anonymous
Adam got the first kiss. He was not the
man who could pass such hand. Angle
worms are of earth-earthy, and crawl for
living. 1t is said that angle worm oil, if
rubbed on the back of a mans neck, will
cure falsehood-if it kills the man. Tree
toads are the only branch of the toad fam
| lily that can climb tree without Boosting.
When toad is on a tree, he conforms to
the customs of the tree. They are good
singers. They have more music than voice.
Tdivide all kinds of snakes into one heap,
to wit the pestiferous. They have large
amount of antiquity. Eve was imposed
upon by snake. They travel on the lower
side of themselves, and go most 1uently
down hill. They are amphibious, and
those who infest the water is the eel
Mud turtles live in the shell of house
to which they get attached. They belong
to the class known as close corporation.
They never build a house; they cannot fill
it themselves. Love is like the measles
We can't have it but once, and the later in
life we have it, the tougher it goes with
us. A coquctte in love acts as silly as
mouse in box trap. He who does good
thing secretly steals march on Heaven
The goose is grass animal, but can't chew
the cud. They are good feeders. The
goose lays ono egg at time, in which the
gosling lies hid. The goose is very good
eating, but not good chewing.
The swine has almost always four legs.
They existed long time before the flood.
They always eat what is set before them,
and never ask any questions. The swine
can be learned great many amusing
things. Swine has great deal of contrary
genus. They can all root well.
The smallest animal of the brute profess
sion is the pesky flea. They spring from
low places and bite worse than the mos
quito, and oftener, because they bite as
they run. One flea will fly all over any
body in two minutes. 1t is impossible to
do anything well with flea on you except
swear, and they are not afraid of that. If
you ever catch flea, kill him before you
do anything else.
Next to the monkey the crow has the
most deucedness to spare. An educated
crow is actually worse than quack doc
tor. They live on what they can find, and
can find anything if not tied fast. They
are not considered fine eating by good
Judges. Nature made the crow and I
| didn't.
Jersey lightning is cider brandy three
hours old, and quicker than flash. Three
doses will tan a mans throat. If man
can survive the first three years, he is all
| right for seventy-five years more. When
it is first madefit tastes like turpentine and
Cayenne pepper. The first horn will make
man think he has swallowed gas light.
One bottle of sarsaparilla is as fatal to the
drinkst as rifle ball to mosquito.
The clam is a dubious plant, and resides
on the under side of the water. He is
early deserted by his parents, and never
| travels much except on his muscle. CLANS
was first discovered in the same way that
measles was-by being ketched.
The hornet is red-hot child of nature,
of sudden conclusions and sharp impress
sions. These fiery creatures live in congre-
cations, numbering hundred souls. /
never have examined their social relations
closely. They build their nests wherever
they choose, and are never disturbed
They are always very busy. There is wis
dom in all bugs. Hornets are long lived.
The monkey is the shadow of the human
being. He has not got a classical head
He resembles rat-terrier in his features.
Monkeys never grow any older-in beauty.
They are sometimes kept as pets.
The devil is mean individual, and never
keeps his promises.
Success in lfo is very apt to make man
forget-when he wasn't much.
The fox is literary bird. He has been
the hero of history, fable and song. He
is also game bird. He is foul sinner
He has no moral honesty.
The goat has a sanguine disposition
The male goat has moustache on his
lower lip. They can climb anything but a
CREASED pole. What they eat seems to go
to appetite. They use the same language
as the sheep.
The speaker then read an essay on tight
boots. He said he would like to know who
invented them. Any man who can wear
a pair of tight boots, be humble, and not
indulge in profane literature, will make a
good husband. Methuselah was the only
man who could wear tight boots and enjoy
them. Tight boots are an insult to any
mans understanding.