Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-12-15
Well Pounded.

Well Pounded.
To that Portion of The Public Whom
IL Doth Concern:
We, wife and l., return our sincere
thanks for the rousing pounding
given US so surprisingly OH the night
of Friday last.
Atthe first blush it may be thought
strange that We, as humans, should
in any measure be thankful for q
pounding. This straEgeness, how
ever, will disappear when it is con
sidered that poundings like potatoes
are.of different sorts. Besides it is
to be remembered that out of evil
cometh good. For instance, when
John came home the other night
under the inebriating effects of his
"up-setting SIM" and attempted to
maltreat the children, the sound
drubbing he received from his en-
ragged Susan, was a pounding that
made John a soberer, IL not a better
man. And when that notorious long
horned "crittur'' that pokes and that
invades neighboring. gardens was
pounded last summer by the City
Marshall, good came to the gardens,
to neighbors feelings, and to the corr
poration ~exchequer. And tho a
pounds a pound for a. that, it doesn't
follow that a pound must be so many
shillings when 1t may be snuff, nor
exactly sixteen ounce when 1t may
be twelve Troy weight, nor is a mu.
nicipal Pound to be COMPOUNDED with
q terrible fisticuffirg, nor the bruis-
ing art with the kind of pounding
for which we have herein rendered
our thanks. What were we pounded
with? oh! with oil manner of
things that housekeepers do covet-
things too m to MENTION
The table was loaded and heaped in
promisceus confusion with dry
goods, groceries, fancy articles, hard
ware, belongings of the butcher
shop, products of the dairy, and con-
~fections. Chase's Bazaar, beware !
W. have a stock to set up in compe-
tition, if you have a mammoth stock
for the Holidays. .
But really the best of all was the
fact that over 100 good wills filling
our rooms swarmed like so many
busy bees over a we'll blossomed
clover-field. We were literally per-
vaded with the subtitle atmosphere
of kindly regards, while beaming
countenances shone as the sun in his
strength.
There were a few specialties de-
serving of more than apassipg notice,
as the commentators gravely say
The first to be noted was in the shape
of q coincidence. Mr.. Seymour and
family had the honor of appearing
as an advance guard, which little in
cident virtually See-more-well we
did see more-they came more than
a hundred of them. Then there was
secondly the %reenacting of an Egyp~
ton scene. When Joseph's breth.
rem went down into Egypt to procure
corn, each mans sack was well filled,
and when the sacks were opened, 'lo,'
In the mouth of each sack was the
piece of money that had been paid
for the corn. So in this instance
there were sacks whose mouths con-
tanned greenbscks and silver. Then
as we looked at that "Old Govern
ment Java" with the Joseph trick
handsomely performed, we had to
exclaim (inwardly AGAIN. Rowland
rises ! clearly when it produces good
coffee Ii ought to. With two pack
ages we were over much puzzled
One was composed of genuine putty,
warranted to stick and mend things
generally-more especially for things
broken by a strong headlight refiec-
ton! All! reflection, that's the
point, there's the rub; ahem! our
weak head suffers-now we think we
understand, we are too stiff, crisp,
brittle, and a little putty worked into
our mental constitution would tenn.
per us down to a more desirable
Enthusiastically, for there was the
money accompanying said package
of putty to pay the doctor for the in
sertion OF the modifying element
Well putty is good-at times good for
men, as at all times for cabinet. MAX
ers, painters and glazers uses, but we
never heard the article was good for
agricultural implements. We must
not forget to mention the freaks CT a
turnip-s such a turn.ip as the famed
Barnum would like to have: Evil
IDENTIFY the vegetable had grown in
the ground as other vegetables grow,
and In similar manner, yet when this
turnip was opened lack a day /! the
age of Cinderella and the glass Slip
per had returned-for out OF q turnip
by the wand of . Baker rolled forth
to our astonished gaze four and six
teen 5 cent pieces all the product Of
one Iowa turnip! Where's Greeley
farming now!
Also we note from q Pierce (hard>
ware at that came forth lard! Also
that Josiah II. . kind that doesn't
grow Ia either China or Japan, should
have been changed into an iron
Beetle and q picture representing
value. Likewise there was q pack
age, one of the two that had puzzled
US over much, there was a package