The Lincoln County herald., 1871-07-20

What language does % Arsb'an child
speak befosc it cuts tees&? Why gum
Arabic Of course.
1t win tate sixty gears 70 festore to
France the Eorests rstAtessiS Sasteo in
Che militar, operations Of %he aate war.
Smith delases that ths only thing on
cartA capable Of moving q cersais cross
grained oid auut OF bic, is hes rocking
chais.
A fsiend in need is a friend indeed,
and this I've found most true bat mine
is such . Beedy friend, he sticks - me
like glue.
Pittsburgh belies 90 With theis bcaux
shopping now. Buy No. 2 and 3 shoes !;
return them next day alone for 5s
and 6's.
A lady going into che Opera House
last week gave fne tooth comb instead
of . ticket. Usher told her she couldn't
Coomb in on that.
An advertiser wants girls for cooking.
One that knows what he is talking about
replies "You would likc them raw
when you get accustomed to them"
A .hrcwd little fellow, who had Just
begun to read Latin, astonished the mas.
ter by the following translation: "Vir,
a man; gin q trap. Virgin, man trap"
Two young ladies Of Chicago, last
week laid wager that neither could
absorb five grains Of morphine. 1t was a
draw bet, aud the funerals took place the
same day.
Ladies who wear point lace shawls
should know, to appreciate them, that it
takes two hundred women for two years,
at steady work. to finish one. But one
woman can make one, by steady work for
four hundred years.
A singular accident happened to lady
in Portland, Maine, n few days since
She went to call on friend, and when
she pulled tho door bell, the wire broke,
and she fell backward, striking Ter head
on tho steps. Sho was rendered insensi.
bic and was very severel y hurt.
A young countryman while lounging
round little village in the East, short
time since, stole u ride on tho street.
sprinkler, not knowing how the old thing
worked. As soon as the driver opened
the valve he went up about three feet 10
the air, and came down wetter and wiser.
Little Things" is the title of neat
ameteur paper published once month by
a number Of little girls at Brighton
Pennsylvania. The typc.setting as we'll
as the selection and arrangement of mat
ter is all done by the little girls, and IN
a very creditable manner.
Mr.. Stevens, Of Laporte, Ind, had only
been married week when he detected hi.
wife pouring hot tea in his eur as he slept
He says he has never been married before
and don't know what the usages of society y
are, but he thinks such acts lay wife
open to suspicion of lack of affection, OF
something Of that kind.
A young lady Of Bainbrdge, N. Y.
made bargain with Curtiss Cooper some
fifteen years ago, whereby she was to have
q "ewe lamb and its increase until she
was 21 years DID," in exchange for q gold
watch key. She was bat six years of age
at the time, and now sues Mr.. Cooper fol
1S,06l lambs. or their value, which, at 81
per head, is S64,526.
Ohio has at least one female either
who can assert her rights without asking
any aid Of tho ballot box. She charged
her husband with lunacy, and he sue.
ccedcd in convincing her of his SAINT,
only by coming down with a check O
$500. We commend her example to al
wives in want Of pin money. The pla,
might not work every time, but the ex
pertinent would be worth trying.
T. is pertinacious young man of sleu
der requirements, whe affects literature
especially in the presence of young ladies
Un one occasion he brought down tn,
house by asking lady if she had reae
Mr.. Dickens's last novel, "The Diamont
Edition - A more astounding blundel
is the following: Seeing copy of Lall
Rookh lying ON tho center table, ho callc'
attention to it, when somebody inquired
if he had ever read it. "No," he replied
II have never any of Miss Rookh'
poems"
"You will please give mo nineponc
apiece, gentlemen" said the old man VIII
held the door at the monument on Bun
ker Hill to q couple Of gentlemen VIII
wished to ascend the same.
"Pay ?" said the eldest. "Why, do yo1
, know who VIC are? We are British Of
ficers."
"Oh ! ah |! yo are British officers, hey
t Well, walk up gentlemen. Walk righ
up. God knows your country paid dea
enough for this monument, for ye lost tn
t incest lard under tho SUM-"
1t is a great mistake in female cducu
tion to keep young lady's time and at
tention devoted only 20 the fashionabl
literature of the day. If you woul
qualify hes for conversation you mus
give her something to talk about, Civ
D her education in che actual world and il