Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-15
Josh Billings on Korn.
Konrni is n serial ! am clad of II

Kornis a serial, i am glad of it.
It5got It's name from from Series, 8
primitif woman, and in her day, the
goddess ov oats and sick like.
Korn is sumtimes called msaaze,
and it grows in some parts of the
western country very amazenly.
hav seen it out thare lS.foot hi
i don't meen the actual korn itself,
but the tree on which It grows.
Korp has ears, but never has but
one ear which IL az def az an adder.
Korn dodgers are made out oy wa,
ter, with injun meal mkt into 1t, and
then baked on board, in the pres
ence of a hot fire. -.
When you kant drive a 10 penny
male into them, with a sledge ham,
mer, they are said bi good Judges to
be- well done, and are ready to be
chawed upon.
They will last 5 years. in damp
place and not gro tender, and q dog
hit with ones&ill yell for week, and
then crawl under the barn, and NUT
ter for a few days more.
I have knawed two hours myself
on one side of korn dodger with
out produsing emmy result, and
think could starve to death twice
before i could seduce korn dodger.
They git the name of doager from
the immegiate necessity ov lodging,
if one IL hove horizontally at yu in
danger.
It IL far better tew be smote by
5year old steer, than korn dodger
that IL only three hours old. :.
Whiskee (noble whiskee p IL made
out ov korn, and whiskee IL one
ov the greatest blessings known teW
man
We never should hav been able te
fill state prisons with energetick men
and our poor houses with good eat
ers, if it want for noble whiskee.
We never should have had emmy
temperance sons of society, nor re
pubikan politicians, nor prize ites
nor phat aldermen, nor whiskee rings
nor nothing, if it want for blessed
whiskee.
If it want for korn, how could en-
ny boldly git corned?
And i it want for Citing horned
what would life be worth :?
Korn also has kurnels, and kur
neis are often horned, so are briga
deer glnerals.
Johnny kakeis made out of korn
so IL hastys puddin.
Hasty puddin and milkis quick tt
eat.
All you have to do IL to gap ant
swallo, and that is the last ov th'
puddin.
Korn waz familiar tew antiquity
Joseph was sent down into Egypt al
ter sum korn, bnt his brothers didn'
want him to go, so they took pity OIL
him and pittled him in pit
When his brothers got back hum
and were asked WHARF Joe waz, the.
didn't acknowledge the korn, bu
lied SUN.
It has been proved, thatit is wickec
to lie about korn, or emmy ov the 9th
er vegetables.
There is this diferense between lie
ing and saving wood, it is easier tt
lie, especially in the shade.
Korn has got one thing that no
body else has got, and that IL kob
This kob runs thru the middle o,
the korn, and IL as phull ov korn a
Job waz ov biles.
I alwus feel sorry when i think o,
job and wonder how he managed
tew set down in chair.
knowing how tew set down SOU IRE
on bile, without hurting the chair
IL one ov the lost arts.
Job was a card, he had more pa
shunce and biles, tew the squar
inch, than IL usual.
One hundred and twenty-five aker
ov corn to the bushel IL considered
good llrop, but have seen more.
l have seen korn sold for ten
bushel, and il sum parts of the ives
tern country it IL so much, that thar
amt no good law agin stealth it. {.
In konklushun, if you want tew gi
sure krop of korn, and a good prlc,
for the krop, feed about 4 quarts o,
it to shanghi rooster, then murde
the rooster immegiately, and sci
him for II cents pound, krop ant