The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-06-20
Rates of Advertising.

iris, u bOrb Oh malteSe CrOSS duhlIJOuo
being attached at right angles to the
other.
Out West the young ladies keep a
light burning in the parlor to late
hour on Sunday night, to "make be-
lieve" they've caught beau.
A physician writes asking renewal
of note which he owes, giving as
reason therefor: 1--WE are in horri-
BILE crisis there is not sick man in
the district"
A young bachelor in Jersey City
was urged to marry, but he replied:
"I don't see it. My father was a
single man, and he always got along
well enough"
An Irish schoolmaster recently in
formed his pupils that the feminine
gender should be applied to all ships
and vessels ahoat, except mail steamers
and men-ofwar.
Somebody has written book enti-
tied "What shall my son beY" Upon
which some one frankly replied: eff
the boy is as bad as the book, the
chances are that he will be hanged"
"This world is all a feeting show"
said priest to culprit on the
gallows. "Yes," was the prompt re-
ply, "but if you have no objection, I'd
like to see the show a little longer"
Some young vandals in Cincinnati
recently stole the inside of poor
organ grinders machine, and he being
deaf, ground away next morning in
blissful ignorrnce of what had happen
ed.
A Kansas lady went to the theatre
and handed the man in the box Office
finetooth comb, having mistaken it
for her ticket, when she left home.
The doorkeeper said she could not
comb in.
An old bachelor having been laugh
ed at by bevy of pretty girls, told
them that they were small potatoes.
1--WE may be small potatoes" replied
one of the maidens, "but we are sweet
ones"
A Louisville girl, whose lover dis
graced himself by some unlawful
deed, told the unfortunate youth that
she could never marry him, but that
she had $4,000 in her own right which
he could take and go away and try to
redeem his character. He took the
money and left. That girl loved ar
IDENTIFY and unselfishly.
A patient complained to his physi-
clan that he was pursued by ghost
the night before, as he was going home
from the tavern. "What shape was
it?" asked the doctor. "In the shape
of a jackass," said the man. "Go
home," replied the physician, "and
keep sober. You were drunk last
night, and frightened by your own
shadow !"
A short time since word was sent to
Mr.. A. T. Stewart, at New York, that
his wooden mills at Utica had FIVE
hundred tons of coal to spare which
might be sold to advantage, as the
price was high and the article scarce.
Word came Immediately back, "Sell
none, but as the price is high, and the
article scarce, give away the whole to
the working people of the mills, share
and share alike" This order was
carried into immediate execution.
Not many years ago mother took
her child to a registrar in Manchester
that its birth might be recorded.
When asked what name she intended
to give her baby, she answered Alpha
Omega. The register properly in
quired whether she had duly consider
ed the matter and whether it was her
deliberate intention to infict upon the
infant such extraordinary titles.
Certainly she replied, "the child is
my first and hope it may be my last.
A Western paper tells this story:
In Wisconsin, at a locality called
Plum City, lives Swede, who, having
this Spring but one OK, persuaded his
wife to carry one end of the yoke in
ploughing, while he held the plough
and their boy drove. The woman
labored at this extraordinary employ
ment for two days, but was then COM
PEELED to quit it, and take to her bed,
on account of having ruptured an in
ternal organ in her efforts to keep her
end of the yoke even. In two days
after, she died, the physician called
by the neighbors finding it impossible,
when he reached her, to do anything
for her relief.
The Buckeye State says: Under
the new law which gives to sufferers
by the sale of Intoxicating liquors the
right to recover damages sustained by
the sale Of liquor TO husbands, the wo-
men are doing more to prohibit the
flow of whiskey than all the laws to-
gether that have ever been placed up
on the statute books of Ohio. All
over the State, the poor unfortunate
wives and children of drunken hus-
bands and fathers are availing them
selves Of the benefits of this law to de-
fend themselves from threatened starv-
alton. The law is good one, and no
ono naal fear its Dpua liips unless he