Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-03-18
NUMBER II.
FACT AND FANCY.

is powdered.
Wise men learn more 10y fools than fools do
by wise men.
An old maid speaking of marriage, says it is
like any other disease-while there s life there's
hope.
"Well, there's something in that I" as the
man said when he tried to put his boot on with
u cat in it..
doctor was asked to dance the Lancers.
He declined, but expressed Willingness to
lance the dancers
| "Sam, how many logs have you sawed, eh 2'
Why, ma'am, when I've got this and three
others done, I'll have sawed four"
young lady being asked by an enthusiastic
politician which party she was most in favor of,
replied that she preferred u wedding party
"Sambo," said colored gentleman to a
brother in the pertnmery persuasion, 4" What am
dissentW &C Oh" said the other I" dat am de-
| myrrh Y'
1t is not until the flower has fallen off that the
fruit begins to ripen. So in life, it is when the
| romance has passed that the practical useful
ness begins.
| An Irish girl having been sent to the post
Office to enquire for the mail, came back to iu-
quire whether it was Indian mail or corn mail
that they wanted.
very religious old lady being asked her opin-
ion OF the organ of church, the FIRST time she
had ever heard one, replied alt is a very pref
ty box of whistles, but oh | it's awful way to
spend the Sabbath"
"John," said father to his son. one day
when caught shaving the "down " off his upper
lip " don't throw your shaving water where
there are any bare-footed boys, for they might
get their feet pricked"
person in prison was asked by friend
what it was for " For telling lies, +" he replied.
Telling lies how is that p demanded the
other, why, telling people would pay 'em,
and not keeping my word"
why don't the great men of France stir?
Why do they remain motioness and cold while
our country is ruined ~ asked an orator in Pa
ris lately. " Because they are cast in bronze"
answered voice in the gallery.
| phe wife of certain Boston writer thinks
it very nice TO have an author for Il husband
Whenever she feels restless he reads her some
thing he has written, and in few minutes she
is in q profound and refreshing sleep.
May SAX the time OF day, sir2 2' said a
stranger to Mr.. Buffers "By all means, sir
by all MEANS" replied the amiabe Mr.. Buffers
- Well, sir what time is it2' "Upon my word
don't know haven't watched the time lately"
farmer who has pew in Galesburg, H..
church was recently notified that the rent thereof
had been raised to $25. "My God - said he
looking at the notice, "here's nice state Of af-
iairs-the gospel going mp and pork going down.
What's to become of us?
A barber in Chicago has discovered that it Is
next to impossible to shave man satisfactory
while looking out the basement window at the
feet of girls passing on the sidewalk above. Iu
determining the number of the shoes lady
wore, he sliced Off the of u customer.
few days since an organ grinder, accompa-
MED by monkey, was grinding in Essex n lit
tie boy of four years presented the monkey with
a penny accompanied with. the following brief
and appropriate speech " Monkey take it and
glib it to your fader." The monkey bowed his
thanks but made no reply.
farmer wrote as follows to distinguished
scientific agricuturist, to whom he felt under
obligations for introducing a variety of swine
Respected sir, | went yesterday to the cattle
show | found several pigs of your species.
There was great variety of hogs, and was as
tonished at not seeing you there"
The following words actually formed the pero-
alton TO the counsels plea for his client in an
assault and battery case in Athens, Alabama:
' Let the humble ass crop the thistle of the
valley Let the sagacious goat browse upon
the mountains brow but, gentleman of the ju-
ry, say John Gundle is not guilty"
Canning and another gentleman we're looking
at picture of the deluge. The ark was in the
middle distance in the fore sea an elephant
was struggling with his fate. &c wonder"
said the gentleman, " that the elephant did not
secure an inside place. I" He was too late, my
friend, replied Canning, " he was detained
packing his trunk"
young woman, delegate in the recent Ohio
convention of women snifragists, plumply said
" For my own part, love man. individually and
collectively, better than women and SO am
sure does every woman of my SEX il they, like
me, would utter their real sentiments. am
more anxious for mans elevation aud improve
ment than for woman's, and is. every true
woman"
"Why, Sambo, how black you 2" said a
gentleman the other day to neg waiter at a
| N 10 m Of NJ
get so black ~ Why, look here, massa, de
reason am dis de day dis chile was born dere
was an eclipse" Ebony received a shilling for
his satisfactory explanation, and, after grinniug
| his thanks, continued I" tell you what it is,
massa, dis niger may be black, but he aint
| green, nowhow."
A little girl had been playing in the streets
until she had become pretty well covered with
dust. In trying to wash it off, she didn't use
,!,., water enough to prevent the dul rolling up in
little balls upon her arms In er trouble she
| applied to her brother, lttlD Older than her.
SELF for a solution of the mystery. 1t was ex-
planned ut once, to his satisfaction at least
" Why, sis, you're made of DUST and if you
don't stop, you'll wash yourself away"
newy-iuducted policeman in new Orleans
recently had singular adventure with FASH
| ioDably dressed lady whom he met coming out
of dry-goods store. He had heard of shop
lifters, who carried of the most costly goods in
a sack disposed about their person. He was
ambitious OF Distinction and here was a chance
for the coveted fame. The lady was evidently
carrying heavy load. She must be a shop
litter. There could be no doubt of it-he would
arrest her.
You are my prisoner ~ said he laying his
hand on her shoulder.
What do you mean2' demanded the in.
suited lady.
What's that you've got on your back
stolen goods p
|" Heavens | never was so insulted. No sir