Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-03-24
For the Perrysburg Journal
CchooIa

Mr.. EDIToR Permit me to notice some of
the results of Darwin's theory. Here is scho,l-
boy, six feet Ave inches in his boots, full two
hundred pounds weight, very likely less or
more, a noble specimen of corporosity. Hear
him, (eyeing himself before a looking. .glassJ
Gosh, they tell me that my great great, great
grandfather was mollusk Hal hal who care'si"
(runniug his fingers through his hair and dis
turbipg his brain al hate this going to school I"
(0n his wayl "Hulio Bob, Well have some fun
this winter. l'ln no notion botherin' my head
with 'rithmetic. | can lick any master they can
git. You'll see, keep dark"
Third day at school.l The teacher, address
| ing a suspicious-OUking fellow, says: "Ynung
man have noticed your conduct for several
days, and wish you to understand that shall
be master here" Corporosity, full of fight, re-
| plies, "WhO's the best man III tell that"
Perhaps the teacher, forgetting the dignity
of his Office, siezes the aforesaid animal by the
throat and chokes him under, or perhaps by
Bubs aid, brains are overmatchel BY muscle
| and the teacher is driven away. After some
chuckiing, the frequent use Of gutterals and gs,
DIS aud ms, the aforesaid specimen concludes
that he is somebody, and on the whole great
Improvement ON his ancestors. But the Direc-
tors come to the rescue and discuss great princi-
Piles.
Saws Mr.. HI am very sorry for this turn of
affairs. hope
Mr.. M.-( (Interrupting. Gentlemen, we've
made great mistake. Its not so much matter
about grammar. We've had schoolma'am and
boys for teachers long enOngh We need men;
somebody that has bone aud muscle. There's
Uncle Jake's overgrown fellows aud some others
must be broke in.'
Mr. S:-(With great warmth.) That's just
what think.
Forthwith Mr.. NJ. goes in search of new
schnolmaster; man os sinews aud the birch.
Mr.. NJ Meeting Mr.. K.) Friend, can you
tell me where | can find a good schoolmaste
We don't care 50 much about book learning we
want stout man who'll be master.
Mr.. K.-Why yes, If that's what you want,
there's Mr.. T., who has been to a boxing school
and who has never been whipped get
Mr.. M.-lIas he ever taught.
Mr.. K.-No, but think be will il he can get
a certificate.
After having engaged The services Of this dis
tinguished Individual, Mr.. NJ. returned home
congratulating hims Elf and associates upon his
success. The next scene is before the exHmin-
ing committee.
Mr.. T.-(Tbe muscular candidate reads.)
came, saw, l conquered.
GomRiittee.- Nr. T.. will you please tell US
what part Of speech is in those sentences?
Mr. Tt Parses is an active verb. indica-
tive mood, present tense.
Committee.-tS tSuppressing laugh in which
some Of the candidates sympathizs.) That will
suffice, you may be seated.
After further examination IN which Mr. T's
qualifications have been fairly tested, he is in
ormed that the committee cannot give him per-
mission to teach.
Alter the examination number OF disar point
ell candidates having gathered around Mr.. Tone
says: never saw such a set OF examiners they
ask such'questions and then they abuse candid
ate. Another says: know what I'll do. Mr..
NJ. and Mr.. s. are both disappointed about the
muscular candidate, and very soon petition is
signed by host Of disafftcted ones for the re-
moval OF the committee.
1.-TWO Of the committee in private apartment)
Mr.. A.-We ell they've hustled us out
Mr., B.-Why, yes, so it seems. l hear the
people think the examinations are too hard.
Mr.. A.-Too hard There must be a stand
ard, or our examinations are a farce. Better
abolish the office Of examiners at once, save
time and expense. And If there is no standard
Of education the schOolmasters are worthless
Our district schools are designed to teach the
English language, arithmetic and writing. Our
duty as examiners is to see that each teacher
knows how to teach these branches. We need
more mental stimulus. Thinking gives US SUI
periorty. Mind will control ma tter. / say let
the committe do their duty, and let no one at
tempt 10 teach until well qualified. CIT.