The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-01-12
The Trials of Santa Claus, AS T"ia pS
Himself.

know | am considered Il .loliY ""'
low, with nothing TO do but drive a. =
chimneys with a grin on my face; nut i
have nv trials, like all other saints and SIN
ners II * not Christmas eve the whole
rear round there is before and after,
and if You think | have Jolly times then,
Won are mistaken. Just now it Is the bc7orc
that worries me; | must have, before
the 9th of December private conSulta-
tions with at least five millions Of fathers
and mothers. brothers and sisters, llncles
and a1lnts and cousins. to say nothing OF
husbands and wives, lovers and lrlendS;
and this is no tritlc, assure you, when
YOU look nj it seriously, as have to.
Take rs an example the Ruhbs-about
IN average family. There is grandpa and
grandma Rubb, to begin with, and aunt
Mchnda; then there is papa and mama
Rubb. and Minnie and Tom. and Lottic
and Harry, and the baby, besides Nora, the
nurse, and Bridget. the cook. 1t Is easy
enough to manage the baby. and the two,
four. and siX-vcar Odds there are candies,
and dolls, and blocks, and picture books,
and llrmping,jacks, and things OF that sort
for them. But think Of grandpa l'uhb and
OF aunt Melinda! How can l know what
will suit IN old maid Of fifty, who can't
have caps because she dyes her hair,
and don't care for bows, nor books. nor
. pictures. nor portfolios, nor SUGAR plumS,
nor pin-cushionS, and who would bc NOR
tally offended if carried her new dress
or shawl, Gas if she was too poor TO clothe
herself" Papa Rubb is almost as bad. He's
had shaying-pap and slippers, and dress
ing-gown, and IL family Bible, and Il pen
knife-and should like to know what more
YOU could do for Il man who never reads,
and cares nothing iur pictures and pretty
things! In fact, men are trying. both old
rbnr hast ,,T Ia n n
give pretty. widc-awakc young girls, but
the men do bother me every year most un-
accountahly; and | suppose that there are
at least $1,000 to be looked after this very
minute. And in easy time ! have of it,
CorSooth, | should like to have you try it
lust for one year. and Scc--thats all
Another trouble is, people hurry me so.
Half of my customers will not do Il single
thing till ten days before / am to load up,
and then how they do drive round, and
what hurricS, and worries, and sources
they do GET into! want little time TO
assert my wares and get things packed
away into nv bundle orderly and comiortl'
bly, and though | can move as sWillly ts
most people, should be- good deal more
saint-kc in my temper and department Il
WAS not knocked and hurried about so Oh
the 23d and 24th of December every year.
Ap,in. | being saint, am OF high mora
nrinciDlcs. Judge, then, how L hang my
head and blush when some prlShl-eyeC
Young girl brings me Il clgar-caSc, or /
brandy-lask, or pack OF CARDS TO take L
some young man, whoin i hlo"r.housl
himself bv smoking drinking, or gambling
Shall her fair hands help to push him over
the nrecipice on which he stands tottering
Rv n law OF my nature can never refuse
to deliver what is intrustcd to me, but
often long to cry out, "Forbcar YOU know
not what you do" More than once have
taken q case of "genuine Hollands" TO q
man breaking down by drink, or box O
"choice Havanas" to ayouth whose nerve:
were already all unsrung by excessive
smoking, or Il set Of costly jewelry to {
wife whose womanly purity was already
soiled, if not destroyed, by too great love
of dress. Yes, even Il Christmas gift m.,N
bring ruin TO some poor soul
Another terribly trying thing to ten
der-healted saint is to be compelled to carry
loads and loads Of things to persons who
don't want them-who are rather annoyed
than pleased by their arrival, and to g
straight by many poor mans door-With
out leaving so much rs single stick Q
candy for the baby. Last year l carried
solid silver urn to rich Mrs. Fuller, who tn
moment she saw it turned up her nose an,
said: /" AS If wanted to be plagued wit
the care OF such thing as that! How
hate to be under obligation to such a 'wo
man as that ~ and in going there had t
pass right by Mary Minturn's door, and she
poor thing, lying there year in and yea
out, with her curved spine, and not sin
gle pretty thing in her room to make
cheerful? If l could only have left he
some warm flannels, or even IL dish o
oranges! Yes, merry as | am, and beauti
fi,1 and holy as is the work | mostly do
have many heart-ache when | 90 empty
handed by such doors. So much light ant
ioy could be carried into sick rooms, slci
lovely pictures, such refreshing fruits, SIcl
dainty little contriyances for ease and com
fort, If only the money, worse than WASTED
in some directions, could be transferred tt
these!
And there is an after to me, who stant
behind the scenes. To 20 back to the
Rubbs; last year we all chuckled over
what we regarded as The happiest idea fol
grandpa beautiful gold-headed, ebony
cane, which was presented by the younger
members OF the family forming process.
sion, headed by Tom and brought up by
baby, tumbling around promiscuousIy
yet valiantly holding on to the cane by
his chubby hands the old man smiled
and said: 1hankee, thankee," good
naturally enough, and we fancied we had
for once achieved entire success but as
am living man, and hope nobody doubts
that, that lovely cane has been standing in
the darkest, farthest corner Of the bedroom
closet from that day to this After walk.
! Ing out to the gate with it, he said to grand.
ma kiibb, at don't feel MATERIAL" and
back again to his old, knotty, walnut
stick, and grandma Rubb's cap, which we
all thought so pretty and becoming and
I'll A. L