davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1871-02-28
TOWN REPORTS
PRINTED AT THE
Daily Press Office,
100 Exchange Street,
PORTL AND,
At the lowest rates, and at the shortest notice.
VIM. Nj. MARKS, Printer.
GET THE BEST.

GET THE BENT,
Bush's Argentine Hair Dye, long and favor
atiy Known to The Public, stands peerless and I'M
rlvaied. IL is the best, quickest, chcapest, the
most Dafural. durable harm ess and e6ecual Hair
Dye in he VoIf. II coors Hair or Whskers Brown
or ack lnstantaneousy. and gives Them per ectly
natural appearance, and is unattended with any !
Juhous effect Regular package, with brush aud
sponge complete, only 81 90. GEO. G. GOODWIN
q CO, Sold by all Druggists. sep3O.j a26ulm
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1871-02-28

Norfolk and Baltimore and Washington D. O
steamship Line.
kEA Steamships of this line sail from end
E1 OF Central Wharf, Bos,oL. EVEKY
&1e3EG FIVE DAYS tor NORFOLK sna
8BALrlAuKE ~"a
thoieamships:-
"WMiam Ldtcrenee," Capt. W. HaUeff
.".Gs.sorye App'ta,' Capt. Solomon Hores
"Wntdm heanedy." (apt. Geo. II HaILff
ucCfeHdn.' Cart Frank NJ. Howes.
Freight for~arded from No,lolK q, wasbir.4..
oy ST. amer Lazy OF the Lake.
. sreixh, '0fw .ded rom Norfotk 20 Petersbu-o and
":r"moMd: ny ri'eI OF Iail and by the "a i'm.
ar Lane to ali Isunts in Vrg,1id Tonnes. 80
odmd sbd Georgia; .no over the SeabooI5 nd Is
no@e :" q 70 AZ poiuts In North ana South CGroI;..
places Vest. ana al
Inio1gb rates gwen to South and West
f'ue Passenger aceo 'OdauoDs.
Fare including Berth ana Meats SO 50. finn. =.
NoriOik, ~ hours. 10 Baltimor. 65 boura I"
ror further information ap,Iy tn
So. Il. SAMPSON, Aqent
yonezu S3 Central War, Poston.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1871-02-28

The reputation this ex-
cellent medicine enjoys,
is derived from its cures,
many Of which are truly
marvellous. Inveterate
cases of Scrofulous dis.
ease, where the system
seemed saturated with
corruption, have been
purified and cured by it.
ScrOfulous affections and
disorders which were az.
gravated by the scrofH-
lOuS contamination until
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
Josh Billings on Korn.

Korn il a serial; am glad ov it
1t got its name from Series, a prime
val woman, and in her day the goddess
ov oats, and SIGH like.
korn liz sumtimes called maize, and
il grows in some parts of the western
country very amaizenly.
have seen il out thare Is foot hi Ii
don't mean the aktual korn itself, but the
tree on which it grows.)
Korn has ears, but never has but one
ear, which il az def az an adder.
Iniun meal il made OUT of korn, and
korn dodgers IL made out ov injun meal,
and korn dodgers are the tuffest chunks
ov the bread purswashun known to man.
Korn dodgers are made out ov water,
with injun meal MKT into il, and then
baked on a hard board in the presence
ov hot fire.
When you kant drive a l0-2enny
nail into them with sledge hammer,
they are sed bi good judges, TO be well
done, and are reddy to be chawed upon.
They will Keep five years in a damp
place aud not gro tender, and dog hit
with one ov them will yoll week, and
then crawl under the barn and mutler
for tsw days more.
l have knawed two hours miself on
one side oy korn dodger without pro-
ducing emmy result, and thiuk could
starye to death twice before could Sc.
duce korn dodger.
They git the name dodger from the
immegiate necessity of lodging if one
IL hove horizontally at yu in anger.
Whiskee, { noble whiskee is made
out ov korn, and whiskee il one of the
greatest blessings known tew man.
We never should have bin able tew
ill our state prizous with energetick men,
and our poor houses with good eaters, il
it want for noble whiskee.
We never should hav emmy temperance
sons of society, nor democratic pollyti-
ticians, nor prize flies, nor good muir
ders, nor phatt aldermen, nor whiskee
rings, nor nothing, if it wasn't for bles-
sed whiskee.
One hundred and twenty five acres OF
korn TO the bushel is considered good
kfop, but | have seen more.
hav seen korn sold for 10 cents q
bushel and in some parts OF the western
country it is so much that there amt no
good law against stealing it.
In konklusion, if you want to get a
sure krop of korn, and good price for
krop, feed about 4 quarts ov it tew a
shangai rootser, then murder the rooster
Immediately, and sell him for II cents a
pound, krop and all.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
The Lowest Type or Humanity.

The following extract is from an article
on "Barbarism and Civilization" in the
Atlantic Monthly:
ION the Island of Borneo there has
oeen found certain race of wild creao
lures, of which kindred varieties have
been discovered in the Philippine Island,
in Terra del Fuego, and South America.
Phey walk usually almost erect on two
legs, and in that attitude measure about
four feet in height. They construct no
habitation, form no families, scarcely as
soeiate together, sleep in caves and trees,
feed on snakes and vermin, ants eggs or
mice, and on each other. They cannot
be tanned or forced to labor, and are
hunted and shot among the trees like the
great gorilla, of which they are stunted
copy. When captured alive, one finds
with surprise that their uncouth jabber
ing sounds like artieulate language. They
turn up human face to gaze at their
eaptor, and females show instincts of
modesty, and, in fine, these wretched be-
ings are men,"
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
SwludIers.

Of all the mean men on the face of
Gods green earth, the meanest man is
one who deliberately gets himself ap-
pointed the guardian of orphan children
and than deliberately goes TO work to
swind!e then out of their dues.
AS Pension Agent of this District,my
attention has been more than once called
to Cases of this kind. Gases where the
orphan children of soldiers fallen in their
country's defence, have been swindled by
guardians who have sought the appoint.
ment for selfish ends, and then misappro.
priatcd the money belonging to the or
phans.
1 would respectfully call the attention
of County Judges to this class of cases,
ard would respectfully urge upon the at
tention of these officials the necessity of
requiring the best of bail for all guard
ians having the custody of pension mon
ey belonging to minor children, and to
require of them strict accounting peril
odically..
/ repeat it, that a guardian who will
deliberately appropriate to his own use
the money of soldiers orphan that is
intended for their education, is too mean
to live imam honest and respectable neigh
borhood, and warning is given here aud
noaO that any case of this kind reported
to me. will receive tho fullest investiga
ton. and the parties when guilty will be
called to a full aud impartial accounting.
j. A KELLOGG, Pension Agent.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
COnundrums for the Sexes.

For the girls: Could you love man
who wore false hair on his head. when
he had enough of his own? Who paint
ed his face and improved his form as
you improvc(G) yoursl Who pinched
his feet with small shoes, his hands with
small gloves, his waist with corsets; aud
then, as if he had not already deformed
himself enough, tied huge hustle to his
back, and thrust tiny mountain of wire
into his bosom? For the boys: Could
you love a CURL who defiled her mouth
with tobacco aud loaded the air with the
fumes of eigars9 Who staggered home
several times week, the worse for liq-
uori Who indu ICED in fast horses. bet
high at races. and swaggerod around the
streets with questionable companionsf
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
FORM OF s PER CENT. BOND.
INTEREST FUNDED LOAN OF 1851 S PER CENT
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
ARE INDEBTED TO THE BEARER IN THE SUN OF
Dollars.
UNITED STATES {

s.ssssss ssss &c %
THIS BOND is issued IN accordance with the provis-
ions OF an Act of Congress- EMIT led " An Act to
thorze the reunding Of the National Debt" approx
ed July H. 1870. amended by.an act approved Janu-
airy 90 1871 and is redeemable at the pleasure of the
United States after the first day of May $751; in coin
Of the standard value Of the United States said
July IL, 1870, with interest in such coin from the
day Of the date hereof at the rate of FIVE PER CENT
I'm per annum, payable quarterly, the first day Of
February; Nay, August and November in each year.
The principal and interest exempt from the pay
ment of all taxes duties of the United States, as
well from taxation in any form, by under stat
municipal or zeal authority.
Washington.
Entered. Recorded.
......
Repister of the Treasurv-
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
FACETIE.

NoTICE TO SUIcIDEs.-To Jump into
the Mississippi is crime Of the deepest
de-"
Il Doctors motto is supposed to be
patients aud Iong suffering"
An eloquent speaker is like a river
greatest at the mouth.
The difference between fisherman
and lazy schoolboy is one bats his hook
and the other hates his book.
ONE of tho neatest toasts ever given !:
"Woman-the last word on our lips, be-
cause it comes from the bottom of our
hearts,"
A Thief who lately broke open a gro
GERS warehouse excused himself on the
plea that he only went to take tea. .
DR.. Chaplin wi,tily remarked that in
trying to gain two seconds in getting on
and off trains, many men had secured
widows their thirds.
swell, what is it that causes the salt
ness of the water of the ocean e inquir
ed teacher of bright little boy. 1.-THE
goldfish" replied the little original.
"Do you understand me now?" thun.
dered one of our city pedagogues to an
urchiG at whose head he threw an ink
stand. al have got an intiing Of what
you meau," replied the boy.
John Boyer, bali breed, at Cheyenne,
hing for murder, made this diving speech:
"Me no squaw; nue. brave. You feel my
leg, he no shake; nv hand he no trem-
bic, needer. Me damn good man,
Why is horse like the letter o? Be.
cause G makes it 60. And what is the
difference between this conundrum and
my aunt who squints? One is a query
with an answer; the other is an aunt, Sir,
with queer eye.
A cross old bachelor says: "The rea.
son why women do not cut themselves
in two by tight lacing is because they
lace about the heart, and that is SO hard
that they cannot affect it."
The New Orleans Times says: "Some
inquisitive fellow, who thinks Horace
Greeley knows everything, asked him
how to stop the crevasse. "Dam it, sir;
don't ask me-" was the characteristic, not
to say appropriate reply.
Once an applicant for teachers eer-
tifieate failed on the following question
eff four men can build a stone wall in
nine days, how long will it take five men
to build ike wall IN sir days?' This
was too much for him, and he lost his
certificate.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
Walking stones.

They have walking stones in Austria
La, and, as we are informed. they have
travelling stones in Nevada. Here is n
description: "They are almost perfectly
round, the majority Of them are as large
as a walnut, aud of an irony nature
When distributed about tie floor or Ia
bic, or any other level surface, within
two or three feet of each other, they i'm
lnediately huddIe up in a bunch, like
lot of eggs in a nest. A single stone re-
moved to distance of three and half
feet, upon being released, at once stated
off with wonderful and somewhat conf
cal ceIeriiy 10 join its fellows. fakeu
away four or FIVE feet it remained motion
less. They sre found in region that,
though comparatively level. is nothing
but barren rocks. Scattered over this
barren region are little basins, from few
feet to a rod in diameter. aud il is in the
bottom of these the rolling stones are
found. The cause of these stones roll
ing together is doubtless to be found in
the material of which they are composed,
which appears to be lode-stone or mag
uetic iron.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

Here is the best description of an ef-
Terminate man we ever read:
ale is a cross between a root beer and
and q ginger pop with the cork left out.
He is kitten 10 pantalets-a sick mon
key with blonde moustache-a paper
kite in dead calm. He is as harmless
as cents worth of spruce gum, and as
useless as a shirt button without hole.
He is as lazy as bread pill, and has
no more hope than last years grass
hopper. He goes through life on tip
toes, and dies like cologne water split
over the ground"
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

Vinegar Bitters are not vile Fancy Drink,
Made of Poor Rum, Whiskey, Proof Spirits
and Refuse Liquors, doctored, spiced and sweet
ened to please the taste called Tonic" Appetizers
"Restorers &c, that lead the tippler on to drunken
and ruin, but true Medicine, made from the
Native Roots and Herbs of California free from all
Alcoholic SfimulaDts. They are the GREAT
BLOOD PURIFIER and A LIFE GIVING
PRINCIPLE, perfect Renovator and Invigorator
Of the System, carrying off all poisonous matter and
restoring the blood to healthy condition. No person
can take these Btters according to directions and
main long unwell. provided their bones not des-
troyed by mineral poison other means, and the vital
organs wasted beyond the point of repair.
They are Gentle Purgative as well rs n
Tonic, possessing also, the peculiar merit ofactns
powerful agent in relieving Congestion Inaamma~
tion of the Liver, and all the Visceral Organs
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether in
young old, married single at the dawn of
hood at the turn of life, these Tonic Btters have
equal.
For InnammnfOry or Chronic Rheumatism
and Cont, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Bill
ious, Remittent and InteFmittent Feyerss
Diseases of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys and
BLADDER, these BitteFs have been most successful
Such Diseases are caused by Initiated Blood
which is generally produced by arrangement OF the
Digestive Organs.
DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION, Head
ache Pain in the Shoulders Coughs Tightness OF tho
Taste in the Mouth Bilious Attacks Palptation of the
Heart Inflammation of the Lungs Pain in the regions
of the Kidneys and hundred other painful symptoms
are the offsprings of Dyspepsia.
They nvigorate the Stomach and stimulate the torpid
Liver and Bowels which render them of unequalled
efficacy in cleansing the blood of all impurities and i'm
parting new life and yigor TO the whole system.
FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruptions, letter,
Salt Rheum, Blotches, Spots, Pmples Pustules. Bos
Carbuncles, Ring-Worms. Scald Head Sore Eyes.
Ersipelas, Itch, Seurfs Diseoorations Of the Skim
Humors and Diseases of the Skin, of whatever name
nature, literally dug up and carried out OF the
system in short time by the Of these Bitters One
bottle in such will convince the most incredulous
Of their curative effect
Cleanse the Initiated Blood whenever you md its in-
purities bursting through the skin in
Sores cleanse it when you find i o0strncte1 ana
sluggish in tie veins: cleanse II when II Is io9l ana
your feelings III tell you when; Keep the blood pures
and the health Of the system VIII follow.
PIN, TAPE, and other WORMS, lurking IN
the system of many thousands, enectuaily des-
troyed and removed For full directions, read carefully
the circular around each bottle, printed IN four
languaseS-Engiish, German, French and Spanish.
J. WALKER, Proprietor. r. Fl. MCDONALD q co.
Druggists and Gen. Agents, San Francisco Cal, and
% and "a Commerce Street, New YORK.
~ SOLD By ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

How TO BE NoBoDY.-It is easy 10 be
nobody, and we will tell you how to do
it. Go to the drinking saloon to spend
your leisure time. You need not drink
much now; just little beer or some 9TH
err drink. In the meantime play domin-
oes, checkers, or something else to kill
time, so that you will be sure not to read
any useful book. If you do read let it
be the dime novels Of the day. Thus
go on, keeping your stomach full and
your head empty, and yourself playing
time killing games, and in few years
you'll be nobody, unless, as is quite like
", you should turn out to be drunkard
or professional gambler, either of which
is worse than nobody.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
GREAT NATIONAL LOAN.
eB-NEW FIVE PER CENT. BONDS
OF THE UNITED STATES.

The Treasury Departments now prepared to prom
Use that the registered Certificates Of Stock. and
good part of the Coupon Bonds Of the new Loan of
the United States bearing Five per cent. Interest
payable quarterly in Gcld will be ready for delivery
early in the present month"; The subscriptionsto the
loan now amount to s62,O0oOOO, and it is expected
that the subscriptions and the sales will progress
more rapidly when the certificate and bonds ready
for market abroad as well as at home. The whole
of Five per Gents offered to the public generally
and to the holders of United States $40 Bonds with
out qualification, lis s2OO,OOoOOO When the amount,
to which preference thus given, is taken up, the
remainder Of the Five per Cents, $500 e00, 0O0 en-
braced in the New Loanof July H. $780, for refunding
the Public Debt will be offered in connection with
100000, 900 -Four and one-half per Cents, and any
part of $780, 100000 of Four per Cents, tbs
ming fifteen years and the other thirty years.
The following is a copy of the New Five per Cent.
Bond, under and pursuant to the New Loan Act of
Congress:
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
Where the sun Never Sets.

The following grapic paragraph is
from the description of a scene witnessed
by Mr.. Campbell and his party in the
north of Norway, from cliff one thou
sand feet above the sea.
The ocean stretched away in silent
vastness at our feet; the sound of the
waves scarcely reached our airy look out !;
away in the north the hugo old sun
swung low along the horizon, like the
slow beat Of the pendulum in the tall clock
of our grandfather's parlor corner. We
all stood silent looking at our watches
When both hands came together at twelve
midnight, the full round orb hung tri.
umphantly above the wave-a bridge of
gold running due north spanned the wa
ter between us and him. There he shone
in silent majesty which knew no setting.
We involuntarily took off our hats; and
no word was said. Combine. if you can,
the most brilliant sunrise and sunset you
ever saw, and its beauties will pale be-
fore the gorgeous coIoting which now lit
up the ocean, heaven and mountain. In
half an hour the sun had swung by per.
ceptibly on its beat, the colors changed
to those of morning, fresh breeze rip
pied over the flood, one songster after
another piped up in the grove behind us
we bad slid into another day.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

CHEAP ENoUGH.-A coachman ascen.
ded the steps of one of our first class
hotels, ana harangued the crowd as fol-
lows:
"Here's tho hand that lifted Nilsson
out of the coach. Gentlemen, you can,
any of you, have the privilege of kiss
ing it fer five dollars children half price.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

A Snowman in the state of Maine
wanted to exhibit an Egyptian mummy,
and attended at the court house to obtain
permission. "What is it you want to
show y inquired the judge. Gan Egyp.
tian mummy more than three thousand
years DID," said the Snowman. "Three
thousand years old r exclaimed the Judge
jumping to his feet; ''and is the critter
aliyea"
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07

THE CELEBRATED
CRAIG
MICROSCOPE,
Is an optical wonder, reveals the thousands OF
hidden wonders of Nature is of permanent use
ana practical availability, comDihlng Ihstruclloh
with amusement, and never losing Its enterest.
1t magnhes
TEN THOUSAND TIMES
power equal to other microscopes OF many times
Its cost. Reveals countless little worlds all
around US, teeming with life, which to the naked
eve must ever remain sealed bOok-as eels in
vinegar animals in water, cheese mites. sugar and
itch insects, milk gobules, claws and hairs OF
insects. hundreds OF eyes in the single eye OF
a fly dust of buttertly's wings to be perfectly
formed feathers, the much talked OF Trichina Spl-
rails or pork worm, which was first discovered IN
America with this microscope.
1t is of infinite value to professional men, to
teachers and to students, but nowhere Is IL OF
greater value than on the family table, within the
reach of every member. 1t will delight yourself,
your children and friends during the long winter
evenings. 1t will show you adulteratlons OF I'M
cleanliness of various kinds OF food as sugar. tea,
bread, meal, &c.
It is of Inestimable Value to the
Farmer
in-examinipc insects which prey upon his crops
The power of $50 microscope and so simple in
its construction that any child can use it under
standingly, and with appreciation,
A beautiful present, elegant. instructive, anus
ing and cheap, over 900 sold.
During the past six years its worth has been
testified to by thousands of scientific men, farm
ers, school teachers, students, physicians, heads
of families and others,
Price $3-Sent by mail, Postpaid.
Every instrument is neatly boxed, and handsome
ly labeled with full directions for Thousands
have been sent by mail. Address,
w Illness & Co., Chicago.
FREE! FREE!
1.-THE MICROSCOPE monthly journal OF infor-
nation for the peOpe-the mysteries of nature
misunderstanding information ON the won
ders of creation-stories, sketches. &c. Terms 81
per year This journal will be sent FREE for one
year to any one purchasing Craig Microscope, at
the regular price, So, (Craig Microscope will be
sent pOstpaid.)
For sample copy and our beautifully illustrated
and descriptive circulars and eight pages of testi
monials, send three cent stamp for postage to
W j Illness & CO.,
Opticians and sole Propretors of Craig and Novel
ty Microscope, Chicago. Ill.
Agents and Dealers, this Microscope sells in
every family on its merits, when exhibited.
Large profits. SeEi for terms.
E0AE N GIL "A E1
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-07
vs'esC advertisements.
CheapF Free Travel
CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND, AND Pa
CIFIC RAILROAD COMPANY.
100000 Acres
CHOICE IOWA LANDS.

dred acres of the finest agricultural lands in the
West: Fhe Company sells only to actual settlers
and the prices are exceedingly reasonable, ranging
from 30 to SO per acre-the average being about S.
The greater part Of these lands situated along
the line OF its railroad between the cities OF Des
Moines and Council Bluffs, and in the most access
sihle and fertile region in the State.
Sales made for cash or on credit long enough TO
able any industrious man pay for the land out Of
its crops
These lands are held uuder title direct from the
General Government, and not mortgaged or en-
numbered in any way. Full warranty deeds given to
purchasers
For maps, pamphlets, or any other information
speeding them, address EBENEZER COOK, Land
Commissioner, Davenport, Iowa.
Exploring Tickets are sold at the companys ticket
office at Chicago and all other principal stations
its line, and If the purchaser buys land the amount
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-04-03
NEW-YORK HOTEL.

T, Hotel win NOT be CLOSED heretofore reported VII 10
CONTINUED uDder the present management,
During the Summer the House vii pa: thorough rTsI snd
tens7e improvements made Including elevator Of lie approved
pan the furniture vii be put perfect order and much Of replaced
by newn fact everything vii Re done position
the popular and comfortable frtcas Hotels the city
On and sef Is. Of April tie PRICE Of TRANSIENT BOARD ~
be REDUCED to s4perda-
As heretofore arrangement, 10 be maze VII perAra: Jo.n a
priees aecorair. to Size sad location Of TooHi.
D. "! HuDRETH c..