Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-07-16

GEO. f.. BovEE, |
Secretary Of State,
FUN FANCY.
THE DARWlliAN THEORY.
Darwin's theory concerning the |
descent of man is creating q tre-
mendous sensation among the mon
keys. They have just heard Of it,
and are terribly exercised. They
repudiate the whole theory. That
man descended from them they con-
slider o slur among the entire mon
key race.
A cage of John Robinson's mon
keys held an Indignation meeting
over the matter over the matter the
other day, after the performance.
A venerable chimpanzee. whose
gray hairs entitled him to distinction
was made chairman, and sitting in
a swing, presided with utmost Dig
nifty. He got q little excited in his
speech as he took the chair, but this
was pardonable under the circum-
stances. "Whatl" exclaimed the
venerable baboon, "lnan descended
from Us! / repudiate the idea with
scorn. True, we all have onr
faults
1--WE are accused OF cutting mon
key shines sometimes, and not
without cause; but this attempt to
make us father the human race is
altogether too much. Is it not
enough that poverty requires us to
travel around the country in this
manner to make q livelihood, to ex-
hibit ourselves to gaping men, wo-
men and children, at so much .
head (when two-thirds OF them
haven't any head ut all to speak of
without having it flung into our
faces that we originated the entire
pack of fools called men?"
His remarks were received with
every expression of delight pos sible
to the monkeys. Some stood on
their pyramidal heads, others hung
by their tails, while others threw
fip-Aaps from one end of the cage
to the other.
4 A monkey who had travelled much
and seen a great deal, and who had
probably used the cats paw to pull
!, more chesnuts out of the FIRE than
any other monkey of his age, next
!, addressed his fellow-monkeys.
Said he: This man Darwin has
inflicted o disgrace upon US that nc
, monkey of any self-respect will
hesitate to resent. I fling his base
insinuations back into his teeth ? "A
E wild chatter of applause. If mar
2 was indeed descended from US, what
. a fall was there, my countrymen
Prolonged bowls Of derision. 1
l had this base slanderer of oul
}, race-this Darwin, who darwin
: fame by traducing us-I woult
r-r-r-r-r-r-rend him in pieces viii
: these pcntadactylous hands, ant
b whip him to death with this pre-
y hensiis tail?' Immense cheer
G ing.
!, The chairman interrupted th,
II speaker to remind him that no pan
y would be allowed. Nobody blu
}: men perpetrated puns, and a pun
8 was altogether beneath the dignit,
b of any monkey who had the leas
e respect for himself The speake
e promised to be more guarded il
It the future, and proceeded with b;
,-lremarks. ---.- ---------------.------
VI Look at the follies men perpe
l. trate every day. Did you eve
know o monkey to buy ticket to
:, menagerie and 60 staring aroun
IT and making remarks about bette
e people than himselfs Did q mon
l. key ever get drunk, or talk abou
t, his neighbours, or wear plug hs
E. (unlees II was fastened on his hea
u by a detestable ring-m }, or %
10 for . divorce, or lace. or color hi
r whiskers, or go into bankruptcy, G
D. cheat the printer, or get electe
re councilman, or run up Q bar q
If eonnt, or eat hash, or-or run ft
ri Congress-? ,Never!" screams an
ut and scratches OF assent.
Of "Men descended from the monke,
u |indeedi If we ~ere descended frol
le man it would be sufficiently di
Of graceful I get ashamed when
think there is q possibility of q col
=, meeting link. Look 1t them in the
G. political conventions In our mo-
q idiotic moments, did we ever ye
" aud howl rs they do? y
II Look Ut them in Congress
d, whole menagefie on o drunk eoul
a. not behave worse. And where di
III they get its They didn't get
Of from Us that is : Apre thing. II
y, Ley to dheir cussed nonsense IS N
c the mon-keg. ian sdminishir
h shake Of the head from the pres
C. ident. Mr.. Darwin must seek Il
H. his ancestry elsewhere, and let Il
Of modkey alone. He might, perhap
y trace it to the beasts al the Geld !.
q the birds Of the air, (what is mo