Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-23

= t1e0,O00, 900, and adds $25, 100 for
Tie quack medicines swallowed. LET the
people," it says. study these figures
awhile, and then reflecs that probably one
half Is incurred BY deliberate inffacti0n
OF the laws Of health that, If they tlppled
les, smoked less, were slower, exercised
more judiciously, were less fast and
self indulgent, they would save some
thirty or forty millions . year., II.
a LIGHTHOUSE keeper, recently appoint
% on the New Jersey coast, made ridic-
ulOus blunder. Immediately after he had
taken possession, complaints were made
that the lights went out by 10 o'clock.
The proper officer was at once sent to
look into the matter, and he was told that
complaints were made against him. For
w what was the inquiry. Why,". re-
piled at the s oiioef they say that your Lights
Well" was the reply, II know they
don't, for put EN- out myself then, for l
thought all vessels had got in by that
THE Boston Journal relates an instance
Of man in that city who, during panic,
finding most Of his neighbors falling, con.
Guided to follow the fashion, although
amply able to meet all his liabilities He
called q meeting Of his creditors, and in
formed them that he thought it prudent
to suspend. A committee was appointed
to look into his affairs, and, at their first
meeting, one Of the gentlemen said, "
suppose you know how you stand as well
rs we could ascertain if we went through
your books. What do you propose TO
payg" After little hesitation the debtor
said, "Well, don't know what are they
paying in Milk streets"
THE following estimate Of woman's
love appears in an English contemporary |:
"A French woman will love her husband
If he is either witty or chivalrous; Ger
man If he Is constant and faithful; q
Dutch woman if he does not disturb her
case and comfort too much q Spanish
woman If he wreaks vengeance on those
who incur her displeasure an Italian wo-
man if he is dreamy and poetical 3 Dan
ish woman if he thinks that her native
country is the brightest and happiest on
earth; a Russian woman II he despises all
Westerners as miserable barbarians; an
English woman If he succeeds in ingra
tiating himself with the court and aristoc-
racy; an American woman If he has
plenty Of money"
DRUNKENNESS A SIN-When we &C.
knowledge that drunkenness Ia a disease,
let US not forget that il is also sin No
man is forced to become a drunkard; he
drinks to excess with his eyes open, with
his hands free, with his conscience up
braiding him, until he browns it in the
bowl. He voluntarily surrenders his rea-
son, his taste, his Judgment, his health, his
character and his conscience on the altar
of appetite; and is not that a sing He
knows that his habits of indulgence will
disqualify him for the performance of the
duties Of child, husband, parent and citi-
zen, and while they deaden the faculties
which should elevate him above the dumb
beast, they intensity and quicken all the
animal and brutal instincts of degraded
humanity; and is not that a sin ?-Er-
change.
AN amusing incident occurred In a
small farm house, near Bapaume, when
the Uhlans made their first appearance in
the neighborhood A fine fat pig formed
part of the farmers stock, and its safety
created considerable anxiety to both the
farmer and his wife. On the suggestion
of the latter, the pig was instantly slaugh-
tered and dressed. This operation was
scarcely concluded when the Uhlans near
approach was announced Without loss
of time, madame placed table in the CEN
ter of their room, or house place, on which
she directed her husband to place the car
cass1o of the pig, over which she immedi-
ately threw clean sheet. Candles were
instantly lighted and placed around the
table, and chnpe1e drdente was impro-
vised. IF the Uhlans come, you will say
am dead :" and, 50 whispering, she with
drew. The tread Of horses came up to
the door; the farmer and the other mem
bers of his family Immediately knclt
around the dead body. The Uhlans, open
ing the door, entered the house. The
leader halted and exclaimed, "Mortor"
Oui, oui," said the mourning husband
:" it is my wife who is dead" The Uhlans
withdrew, the wife came from her hiding
place, and the pig was not eaten by the
Prussians. .s