The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-11-28
HUGGINS AND THE WIDOW.
BY s. II. OF ALABAMA.

nNE day Sandy Huggins came into
" my Office and sat down without a
word. For some minutes he sat still
watching me intently as if trying to make
out by the sound of my pen what l was
writing
esquire" he said at length, "did 1
ever tell you about my scrape with the
widow Horny up here on the river ?"
Never did" said l, laying down my
pen, let's have it,"
They're curious creatures, widows is"
said he in medtative tone, "and the
more yeu study about 'em the more you
don't know anything about 'em. What
was this thing I've read about in Egypt,
or some other country, that nobody could
unriddle :"
"The Sphynx, probably" replied.
"Well," he continued, "that was
widow as sure as you ever had a granny
Everything else in the earth has been
found out but them, and they're as much
mystery to-day as the length of the North
Pole. You may read the history of the
world from Genesis to Revelations, and
you'll find that widows have been the
bottom or top of five quarters of all the
devilment that has been cut up. Was
you ever in love with one p
Lots of them" said |.
You're great gander-that's what
you are" said he. " A man that loves
one and gifts over it won't never get bit
by another, if he's got as much sense as
ground hog. l don't consider that I've
got any sense at all, but I'm little too
smart to let another Of them get all the
trumps on me. The widow Horny that l
was speaking of, is little the. handsom-
est woman, reckon, that ever looked a
man into fits, and | ought to be a judge,
for I've seen lots of pretty women in my
day. She was about twenty-five years
old when L went up there to work, just
in the bloom of her beauty, aud as full of
deviltry as three year old mule colt.
There was a ball over at Jenkins" and of
course | went, for l always 90 where
there's any fun going on, and generally
act the fool before l get away. OF course
the widow was there, dressed as fine as
Solomon's lilies, and flying around as
friskly as young lamb in a rye patch.
| got introduced to her and asked her to
dance with me, and when she flashed her
eyes at me and said yes" jumped up
like had set down on hot griddle
You may talk about sensation, but when
she took hold of my hand and | sorter
squeezed it, l felt sensation as big as
load of wood aud it kept running up
and down my back like squirrel with a
hawk after him. I'm very fond of dan
cling, but I'll be hanged ifI know wheth-
er | enjoyed it that night or not, for ev-
cry time she took hold of my hand I'D
commence feeling curious behind my ears
and up and down my back again, and
then | wouldt know whether was on
earth or in balloon, or on comet, any
thing about it. 1t was undoubtedly a
case of love at first sight, and powerful
bad case at that For it was wonder got
through the frolic without making con-
spicuous or cutting up any extras, as I'm
in the habit of doing when 90 into pub
lie. I'd set my pegs to go home with
the widow after the ball, but just as /
was fixing my mouth to ask her, up steps
big, long, leather-faccd doctor, named
Mabry, and walked her right off before
my eyes. That riled me some, but i
kept my tongue still, inwardly swearing
to break his bones the very first opportu-
nifty that presented itself, saw there
was no use in saying anything, so went
home and went to bed, and all the rest
of the night was dreaming about rain
bows, angels, butterflies, fddles, widows
and doctors, mixed up worse than a
dutchman's boiled dinner
Well squire, to make short story Of
it, made up my mind to have the wild
ow, or kill myself or somebody else"
So made it convenient to be on
hand where she was, upon all occasions
couldn't eat nor sleep nor work, and il
the thing had kept on, | wouldn't have
had sense enough left to skin rabbit
But was determined it shouldn't last
long, for I'd been fooled so often by
women that l thought | wouldn't give
her time to think of anything but me.
She appeared to take to me right sharply,
and the doctor seemed inclined to mix in
with me, but didn't consider him nc
more than brush fence, for was so fal
gone | thought she could see nobody on
earth but me. Well, Squire, things wen
on so for about month, and one Sunda,
l screwed up my spunk and put the qucs
tion to her. She sorter laughed and sor
ter looked one-sided, and finally told me