The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1871-09-09
Stebbins Draws A Natural.


"Wasn't he screa m sr 2"
"He could get away with any of 'em,"
said Sykes.
"Well," continued White Hat, Zone
night me and Stebbins and Bob Eg.ie-
ston were up to Pastors eatin' oysters,
aud after we got through went down to
the bar to pay. A lot of fellows wero
eating and drinking there, and talking
about homely men. Il don't care what
you say, says one fellow, you let Bill
Williamson work his face us he pleases,
and I'll back him agin tho three uglicst
men in the Union"
"How's that, Bill ?" says another tel-
low, looking at tolcrably plain man
with a smooth face standing by.
"'Oh, he's foolin',' said Bill, swallow.
ing his toddy, and wipiag his mouth with
his hand. There amt nothin' disagree.
able about me-"
"'Excuse me, gentlemen says I, I'm
stranger, but is that the man you're
backing for plain features
THAT'S the man., says the first
spokesman.
81 turnod round and leaned agin the
bar, and looked at him, and says 1, mo
paint, not feathers, nor nonsense 2"
Nothing bat the features that God
has given him. says another.
"'How much would you be willing to
waste Oh him ? says I.
Largely says he. 'lIeavy; money
talks. United States promises to pay
aud he hauled out II big pocket book, and
slapped it on the counter.
Champagne supper would be moth.
ing, says l.
. Not a rced-birds eye, says he.
I'm the man you're looking for
says, and i'll ten minutes We had Jury
I'Frssssiicst, sand 1 was tratuiug 5trbbins
for his part.
''lIe hauled down the corners of his
mouth, rolled his eyes as if ho had a fit,
and led him in. But / knew in a
minute l was boat. That fellow of theirs
stood in front of tho judges, and he
looked like whole family of wild Aus
tralian children rolled into one. He
never moved muscle, but looked with
an idlotic leer at the ceiling, aud waited
Tor the verdict. The jury didn't leave
their seats. They sid it was clear
and it was, and L walked off.
NOW, says |, 'Stebbins, you must
do your best; we've got two more
chances, and want you to spread your.
SELF
"Stcbbins prepared himself, aud
must say, he was melancholy sight
The right side of his moustachc was
stuck in his nose, and his mouth was
screwed around until it touched the lap.
pei of his left ear, and We walked in.
But there stood their man, and | didn't
care about seeing another such sight
Every hair on his head was standing
straight forward like fencestakes, and
his eyes were turned in towards his nose
till you could see the bucks of them. |
never knew how he did it, but I hope |
may die if he hadn't swallowed his nose
and there he stood. The opposition
gave shout, and knew we was beat
again. And SO we was, and went back
feeling pretty blue.
Were beat, Stebbins, says l, 'and
L.. i.,..--- --i~. - hi---- =
but | never saw you look So we'll US you
dc to-day Tom Egglcston was out of
patience. IF the cussed fool would
stand natural, says he, he'd beat ca
yet .. a: -
"Thc idea struck me in n minute.
Try 'em, Younglove,' says l. Just
leave your face the way Heaven made it,
and let's go iu.'
"Stebbns was practicing before the
glass, but when he turned round and
sobercd down, looked at him, and Gays
|, that's enough If they can beat
that face I'm ready to pay
"Stcbbins said it was no use, but we
led him in, in his normal condition, and
when they looked at him they screamed.
| Even their man who had uot oll his
faces into one, and who stood there
working his ears beside, and looking like
wagon full of scared monkeys, got a
glimpse of Stcbbins, and burst into a
roar. The judges said l had won, and