The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-07-07
Josh Billings on Corn.


1t got It's name from Series, primi-
tit woman, aud her day, the goddess OF
oats, and sich like.
Korn il sumtimes called maize, and it
grows, in sum parts Ov the Western
country, very amaizenly.
q have seen IL out their Is foot hi q
Il mean the aktual kOrn itself, but
rec on which it grOws.)
KOrn laZ ears, but never haz but one
= ear, which iZ as def as an adder.
Injun meal IL made out Nv knTn, and
korn dod gers are the tuffest chunks oV
the bread perswashun known tew man.
Korn dodgers arc made out OV water.
with iniun meal MKT into it, and then
baked on a hard board in the presence
OV a hot fire.
When you can't drive ten penny
nail into them, with sledRe hammer,
and they are sed bi good judges, to be
well done, and ar reddy to be chawed
upon.
They will keep five year In damp
place, and not gro tender, and dog hit
with one Ov them will yell for week,
and then crawl under tho barn and NUT
ter for two days more.
have knaWed two hours miself on
one side Oy kOTn dOdger without pro-
ducinQ enny result, and i think could
starvc to death twice before could Sc
duce kOrn dodger.
They GIT the name dodger from the
immeSiate necessity of lodging f one IL
hove horizontally at yu in anger.
1t IL far better tew be smote by a 3
year old steer than kOrn dodger that IL
only three hours old.
KOrn was first discovered bi the IN
iuns, but WHARF they found 1t don't
know, and don't know as kare.
Whiskee (noble whiskee) Is made out
ov koFn, and Whiskee is one Ov the
greatest blessings known tew man.
We never should have been able teW
fill our State prizions with energetIc
men, and poor-houses with gOode
eaters. if it warnt for noble whiskee.
We never should hav had emmy tenn
nerancc sons oY society, nor democratic
politicians. nor priZe-iites nor good
murders, nor phat aldermen, nor wins
kee rings, nor nothing, II 1t WaFnG Tor
blessed whiskee.
If It want for kOrn how could emmy
body get horned?
hit want for getting horned what
would lite be worth
We should all sink down to the level
oy the brutes if it want for getting
horned.
The brutes don't get horned, they
haint got any reason nor soul.
We often hear OF drunken brutes.
This is IL compliment to oxen which
don't belong tew them.
Korn also haZ kurnels, and kurnels
are often corded, so are brighter GIN
erals.
Johnny Kade is made out of kOrn, SO
Hasty puddin and milk is quick tew
All Won have to do is to gap, and
swallow, that Is the last of the puddln
Korn was familiar tew antiquity
Joseph waz sent down into Egypt after
some korn, but his brothers didn't want
him to 90, so they TOOK pity on mn ahI
pitted him in pit.
When his brothers got back hum, anG
were asked where Joe woz, tneY uluh
acknowledge the kOrn, but lied some
It has been proved that 1t IL wtcke'
to lie about kOrn, or emmy OF the othel
Thare Is the difference between lieinS
and saving wood, 1t IL easier to lie, es
peshly in the shade.
KOTn has one thing that nobody els
has got, and that IL kob.
THIS kOb runs thru the middle OF TN
lOrn, and IL as fun OF korn as JOO Wa
of biles.
! 1 alwus feel sorry when l think o.
Y .Job. and wunder how he managed q
- sit down in a chair.
knowing how tew set down, squar
ou a bile, without hurting the chair, 1
one of the lost arts.
Job was card he had more pashunc
and biles, to the square inch, than l
usual.
one hundred ar1 twenty-five a6ers o
koTn to the bush, IS konsidered a gOO'
krop, but have $, more.
I hav seen korn u for 10 cents
bushel, and I'm sum parts Oy the wcster
country, it is so much, that thare ain
no good law against stealing it.
In konklushun, If you want tew git
sure krop, feed about quarts oy 1t te'
shanghi rooster, then murder TN
rooster Immediately, and sell him 10
81 cents a pound, krop and all.