The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-03-25
Written for the Pacific Commercial Advertiser.J
IOaferISm.

LOafcrISm.
The present age has not alone been remarkable in
discoveries and in the development of the physical
sciences, but in the matter Of language and the
adaptation of words to ideas and subjects, it has
also made rapid advances. Without expatiating on
the two expressive verbs recently introduced into
our language, to = gObble up and to skedaddle, .
we are inclined to believe that the verb to sloafs
is more abundantly comprehensive than either when
applied TO the genus id1luh cuSStum. The meaning
at the present time, however, is the very reverse OF
its root IN the old GOtho-Germanic, from fdufen,
! tofen, fopen, 10 run. The genus I0afeT, or ld@iun
cuSsiuRl, never runs. The more respectable species
are Mlcawbers, sitting and waiting for something 10
turn up while the common species OF said genus,
In a fog of dreamy nothingnesS, sit, lounge, laze. aud
| idle away their time, without u thought, aim, object
or wish, while the more degraded crawl forth like
foul birds of night, sit on the yerandahs or on the
sidewalks, with just energy enough to make night
hideous with a screeching and hooting effort at a
song, and sometimes with a bruken-winded ACCORDION
they make a noise between the shri,l squeak of the
bag-pipe, the squealing of a stuck pig or the agonized
caterwauling OF some houseless g TOM" The most
persistent organ-grinders with the dirtiest weazen-
faced monkeys, q whole school of boys with tin
trumpets, cheap drums and penny Whistles, would
be like the voice of the dulcimer sweet in CON-
parison. May the police preserve us from this low
est species of the genus. He bears the same relation
to the MicaWber of the species as the Australian and
Bushman to the higher races of mankind.
There is a larger proportion of this lower class of
genus loafer in Honolulu than any other place out
side, except it be in barbarian lands, where all the
lords of creation are loafers. Let any person dis
guise himself like the Caliph Haroun Alraschid, and
60 forth in search of adventure, from 8 till II
O'Clock, on any bright night, and he viii verify the
assertion. de need not go to the alley Of the shadow
of perdition, near Kaumakapili, nor the many re-
ceptacles of vice about the Chinese coffee houses,
but let him pass on the main thoroughfare, down
King street toward the bridge, and there he will find
u place where the lower species of the genus loafer
mostly do congregate. Many of these are the most
able bodied young men Ill the country, such as are
needed on our sugar plantations so sadly in want of
help. These gangrenes on the body polite mostly
associate with the feminine genus sohiSiier, the most
degraded of the lOafer kind. The bridge is anything
but a "Bridge of Sighs-'' For there are borne on
the startled air loud bursts of rude laughter, fierce,
boisterous and obscene talk, and an occasional horri-
bly, discordaut bleating and footing upon some cussed
instrument, with the piping treble of some squeak
ing and shrieking female. l once heard the cry of
murder ring out ON that bridge, on the midnight
blast, and there was no policeman visible nearer
than the station house. Probably the genus alluded
to is privileged-a sort of lazaroni, like that of Ma
pies, only of q more degraded type. l do not pre-
tend to be a politician, and it may be policy to suffer
that species of loafer to increase in the community
they may eventually be "a pOwer-they may produce
a MassaHiello. But | have nothing to do with
police regulations, and i have no right to suggest
where one or two ought to be stationed, or at least
occasionally to perambulate.
The loafer musi-cuss is q biped of an entirely
different kind from those described above. He stands
upon his privileges, and when he belongs to a band
~ he dresseth in an equivOcal white uniform, and
strutteth about and paradeth the streets, like those
brave defenders of the country, that we see march,
ing in all the pomp, pride and circumstance of
war, to the tap of the drum, bent on the
lofty deed of relieving the guard at the hale paahao.
That is an institution, but the loafer musi-cuss be-
lieveth himself a greater. Every evening he march
eth up to q kind of sombre, barn-like structure ON
the Eva road, where he dealeth out c~rack-winded
notes in every key from the hoarse roar of a. bull
frog, to the finest treble squeak Of n famished prairie
dog, aud then with a grand finale ad dia6OiUm,
about 8 p. NJ, he breaketh up and marcheth toward
not as he went forth, but a loafer revived, ex-
animated and generally accompanied by soae
half dozen wahines of the genus ~aohiSLIeT. who hang
on his skirts like the stragglers of an army, and
singing in the most boisterous fashion, jarriDg, dis
cordant and out of tune. He generally pauseth near
the bridge and cleareth his throat or exchangeth q
few obscene compliments with the sitting loafer de-
graded. He st0opefh to this, the musi-cuss, and I'M
bendeth from the noisy world of uncouth sounds in
which he revelleth. Where musi-euss or his feminine
commandment disnerseth after that, or whether he
like a note of his cracker trombone, rnIs
saith not but he knows we'll that a most
nnmusical and unearthly noise is heard around until
D late hour in the night. The bowling of the poor
CANNES, against which law and police have leveled
heir vengeance, was harmony in comparison.
at the risk of being accused of not having a finer
ear for music than a donkey, l would respectfully
suggest that all such bands would add more to the
productive wealth and prosperity of the country, by
being dis-banded and employed around sugar kettles
and centrifngals, than on base drains, trombones
md other brazen and air startling Instruments. Let
t not be understood that the writer reflects on the
of such musicians he is no doubt competent
Ind efficient, and cannot be considered responsible
Or his charges, after they have left his immediate
.l