Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1871-10-28
THE TICK-KNoB DEBATE.

candidates for Congress in the PennyrOyal dis
trict- This district was close, and the contest
lot and personal. After a rafting fire at long
range for more than a month without result, il
was resolved to try the effect of bringing the
cOmbatants to cloee quarters; in other words, IL
was arranged that they should meet and discuss
1.-The issues Of the hour" at Tick-KnOb, q CEN
trail and accessible point, on the day before the
election.
Both parties, in DOMINIC their armor, boasted
as only he should boast who taketh il of. Dox
and his friends were sure Jones would skulk and
Jones and his were quite certain box would
meyer come to the scratch. But If neither
backed out, not 'grease-spot" OF either would
be left, if the other was to he believed.
An ambuscade of secret afidavits 70 the effect
that DOX's wife's sister-in-law's brOther-in-law
who kept grocery at SOrghumdale, sold sand
in his sugar, constituted a principal feature in
Sthe Jones tactics DOx, on the other hand, was
supplied with an equally convincing array of
proofs that Jones step-father's uncle's aunt's
cousin by marriage, had halt-sister no better
than she should be. These masked batteries,
held carefully in reserve on either side, when
opened at the last moment, was confidently ex-
pected, by those in the secret, would put a final
settler on " the issues of the hour"
For the time being, Tick-KnOb became the
center OF interest Everybody making
ready 20 90. In the remOtest corners of the dis
trict, the din OF preparation sounded. Heads of
households arranged 70 take their families, and
swains their sweethearts. Carryalls, buggies,
wagons, sulkies, horses, mules, saddles, side
saddles and billions were all in demand. To see
couple of politicians {" worry and deyour each
other was treat too rare TO be foregone.
The dawn OF the eventful day was as bright as
the hopes it heralded. As Jones walked the
platform, "scenting the morning air." and wait
ing ior me tIaln that was 70 carry him to Tick,
by touch on the shoulder.
Turning about, he saw an elderly gentleman
no, we can hardly say he saw the elderly gen
tlemsn, for on the latter's arm hung a creature
OF more SURPRISING beauty than Il had ever be-
fore entered the heart OF Jones to conceive.
Going on the train, sir?" the elderly gentle
Jones bowed, without removing his eyes from
the object that riveted them.
Might ask you to take charge of a lady as
ued.
Might he? The question transported Jones to
the heaven Of the hours. He stammered some
thing about being only too happy, and was saved
from making complete ass of himself by the
arrival Of the train.
Recovering himself. he handed the lady on
board, where another piece of good fortune
awaited him; the crowded state OF the car COM
PEELED him to sit by his charges side, and the
road was narrow gauge. When ii was build
ing Jones had gone with the broad gauge party;
he saw his error now.
For the next half hour Dox and the issues OF
the hour slipped from Jones memory. He had
never struggled for popular applause as he now
= laid himself out to win favor in the sight of a
pair of lustrous dark eyes, far "lOyeler in their
strength" than any Byron ever wOt of. Nor. he
hattered himself, were his efforts wholly I'M
ayailing- His hsshes OF wit and gushes of SEN
timent were rewarded with more than one in
tOxicating smile and tender look that made him
feel as though his entire cuticle was rising into
AT the end Of thirty minutes the conductor
sang out "SOrghumdalei'' Jones would have
sworn the minutes had been seconds. Anxious
to prOlOng the delicious moments, he escorted
his charmer to the platform, which thew had
barely reached when sudden faintness seemed
to overcome the lady: Her step faltered, her
limbs tOtteTed. and she must inevitably have
fallen had not Jones caught her.
His first impulse was to shout "Firel'-hs
second. "water!'' Before he could do either,
the bell rang, the whistle shrieked, the lOcOmo-
tive snOrted, and the train began to move,
What was to be done? III he failed to reach
Tick-KuOb in season, after all his vaunting, he
would be set down as an arrant pOltrOOn, and his
political cake hencefOrward would be dough.
He had no alternative but to drop his burthen
sndrun, or stand at his post till help came, leav-
ing ''the issues Of the hours to take their own
chances.
Jones was too much Of a man to hesitate II
was still early, and there might he another train;
Il was possible to drive to Tick-knOb in a couple
OF hours But come what would. he would never
desert such an angel in distress.
When the train was fairly OFF, the ladV-til
then in a dead faint-oPenedhere eyes and look
ing up COnfdingly:
where am I?s she murmured.
safe in these arms" was the assuring an
A modest blush mantled her cheek as she
made an effort 20 disengage herself.
- DOn't!-Prdy don't exert yOurself!" Jones
pleaded. .. Permit me TO carry you; ii you only
knew the pleasure feel in--in-''
You have my sincere thanks, sir" she an
swered sveetlyi but am really quite over il.
mere attack Of nervOusneSs-nOthing more
II YOU will only lend me your arm n little way to
relatives, shall not trespaSs farther with
your kindness"
Jones was sure she was not equal to the effort.
With his permission she should prove il. Jones
shook his head. She pointed the way, and took
his arm. He begged her to lean upon il, and
they walked on.
At the relatives, after being rudely thanked
Nv the family, and most charmingly by the lady
herself, who was hurried OF TO lie down, Jones
explained his predicament, He was Mr.. Jones,
candidate for Congress against that arch-dema-
hax
ment 10 discuss 1.-THE issues OF the hour" at
Iiek-knOb that day, at ten O'Clock. Would
there be another train In time?
There was no other till three O'Clock.
Could private conveyance be had?
The relative would see, If Mr.. Jones would
take a seat. Most of the conveniences in that
line were in use, as nearly everybody had gone
TO the speaking" But he thought of friend
OF his who might be able TO accommodate HIM.
Nearly an hour elapsed before the friend re-
turned with a Tickety old sulky drawn by a
lanky horse. whose sire might have been Rosi-
nante, and his dam-well, he hardly looked to
lie worth one. 10 was the best that could be
done, however. and no time Was to be lost.
Jones mounted the seat and took the lines"
for quarter Of a mile the horse did wonders.
lie was an earnest-lO Oking quadruped-evidently
an animal OF tenacious purpOSe-but Jones
hadn't expected nything like such speed. lit
reach Tick-KnOb in ample time TO demolish
box, and brand his wife's sister-in-law's swind-
ling brother-in-law with the everlasting infamy
At the end Of the quarter hour the roads
fOrked- Jones way led TO the right: the horse
saw the path of duty on the left. Jones tugged
one way. the horse set his face the other. Jones
COaxed, the horse was inheXible. Jones swOre;
10 was SHINING to no purpose. II was nearly
loon. and there were Vet twenty miles to 90.
- Ni-h ways Yer gOin' 2' inquired a shock
headed urchin in ventilation trOwsers.
To Tick-KnOb-blaSt you!" The latter
clause 20 his horse.
Eyer don't understand JingIebOnes, )" said the
boy "He wants ter 90 home an wen he does
Tiers only one way ter mannidge i'm. Lemme
show yer"
The boy took OF his hat, and holding il brim
up went 10 the right, calling:
Cope, cope,"
Attracted by imaginary oats JinglebOnes
turned in that direction when the boy adroitly
clapped a thistle he had in readiness under the
cTuPPer. IL acted like a charm. ,JinglebOnes
set on at full gailOp. Jones heart bounded with
delight he might yet be in time. If the slim
depended on that.
But the fates were against Jones. At a sudden
turn the hub OF the sulky struck a Telegraph
pole, and the whole concern-spokes, fellOes
axle and bOdy-hew to pieces like the she'll of a
tOuch-Ee-not. Jones was hurled head first into
a brier patch and before he could extricate him
self, Jingle bones, whom the shock had relieved
his thistle. turnel abOut and a MA efflv