The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1871-09-23
Equal to Mark Twain.

Newspaper writers will thoroughly
appreciate the following DER true tale,
which we take from the Philadelphia
Dispatch
A week or two ago, one of our re-
porters had occasion to refer to GER
tain woman, whom we will call Han
nah Smith, as denizen of the
eleventh ward. A day or two after
ward, huge man entered the office
with his brow clothed with thunder.
In his hand he carried fearful club,
and at his side trotted a bull dog
whom hunger evidently had made
desperate. With that quick appre-
citation of the situation which is cred
liable to the superior intelligence of
educated men, the editor of this paper
and the proprietors darted to the VIM
dow, climbed outside, slid down the
lightning rod, and went across the
street to watch the bloody FRAY
through a spyglass. With the fear
lessness of conscious innocence, we
sat still, merely inserting our legs in
two sections of stovepipe to guard
against any misapprehension of facts
on the part of the bull dog. The man
with the club approached.
" Are you the editor?o he asked,
splitting on his hand and grasping his
club. We told him that the editor
was out that he had gone to the
North Pole with Captain Hall, and
that he would not return before 1876,
in time for the centennial celebration.
" Are you the proprietor 2" asked
the man.
We explained to him that we were
not; that the proprietors were also
out; that they had gone to South
America for the purpose of investi-
eating the curative properties of cum
durango, and they expected to remain
there for several years.
"Wel, whoever you are,n exclaimed
the warrior, "my name is Smith,"
| We told him we were glad, because
if there was one thing better than the
possession of the name Smith, it was
the privilege of knowing man of
that name. "But, Smith, we said,
"why this battle array It is alb
surd for man to put on the panoply
of war, and frisk into editors sane
tums, ftlmbling club and accom-
panied by a disheartened bull dog,
simply because his name happens to
be Smith,
He said he called in to bust the
head of the man who had insulted his
sister.
at is impossible, Smith, that such
a thing could have been done by any
one in this Office"
| "Is, but is was though; and hel
name was published, too. Miss
Smith-Miss Hammer Smith"
"May we be permitted to inquire
Mr.. Smith, what was the precise char
acter of the affront offered to Han
nah 2"
Well, you see," said Smith, " the
blackguard said she was denizen
And want you to understand" eX-
claimed Smith, becoming excited and
brandishing his club in a wild man
ner over our head, while the bull dog
advanced and commenced to sniff NJ
and down our stovepipe-" want yOu
lluuC16bCtIlA StAC 10 th NlCCCI
young woman, with good character
and none of your denizens and sucl
truck. The man who says she is &
denizen, is blackguard and a thief
and I'll smash him over the nose if
get chance. They may say what
they want about me, but the man who
abuses my sister has got to suffer.
And Smith struck the table in VIC.
lent manner with his club, while the
bull dog put his forelegs up on tht
back of our chair.
We pacified Smith with diction
airy. We pointed out to that raging
warrior that the Websterian definition
} of the word "denizen" gives such /
person no offending character an(
deprives the term of everything ikt
reproaeh. Smith said he was salts
, fed, and he shook hands and kicked
the bull dog down stairs. The edito
and proprietors, seeing that all wa
: slfe, Immediately climbed the light
! ming rod and soon appeared at thu
| window, where they were introduced
to Smith, with the remark that the.
/ had returned from the North Pole ant
; the cline of the condurango, some
what unexpectedly. in order to sur
prise their relations.
And now we suppose Smith will b,
t mad because we have told this stoI.
: about him, and he will be coming
t down to interview us again, in war
/ magnificent stern array, with a fresl
| bull dog. But it will be in vain. w
, have rented an Office in the top of th
: shot tower, and have planted torpe
does and spring guns all the way u
stairs. We warn this ineendiar,
Smith to beware.
Tho A,,ntin In,,,,,nI n.,,,lnins nhnr