Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-12-14
Chlps from Other Blockheads.

Chips from Other BlOckheads.
MoTro for a cat show" Come to the
scratch"
LOVE, cough, and money, cam OF
long be hid. 90
A STAMP you can't buy-The stamp of
gentleman.
IT costs more to avenge wrongs than
to bear them. .
THE great unknown-people who
never advertise.
OLD sailors are never SO much at sea
as when they are on shore.
IT is mistake to suppose that Alexis
lives on Czar-dines.sd Ftt4....
Why is baby cutting its first in
cisors" ike a teapot Because it's
tea-thing. .s..-a.1r, ..f, ~
"THAr is unremitting attention." the
student said, when his father forgot his
usual allowance.
THE wife is the sun of the social sys-
tenn. Unless she attracts there is moth
| ing to keep heavy bodies like husbands
from flying off into space. -YA
WE very frequently hear of Generals
capturing pieces of artillery. "What's
| the use of capturing pieces 2" says Mrs.
Partington "why not capture whole
| ones 2"
| A DUTCH Justice gives the following
oath to witnesses You do aWfully
swore you will tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth, the
best what you can't"
LET every man be himself; let him
| cultivate first, selfrespect; and then
respect for others, Self-respect gives
self possession, and selfpossession is one
the crowning graces of society.
aMY DEAR" said young lady to her
1 country cousin, '"when you've been a
| little longer in London you won't be so
green" Better green than withered? !"
was the retort.
THE New York World accounts for the
inequality of the sexes by saying that
in early life the boy masters his oppor-
tunities, while the girl commonly
i misses hers. t
THE following notice is stuck up on
bridge at Denver, in Colorado: No
vehicle drawn by more than one animal
is allowed to cross this bridge in oppo-
site directions at the same tiae."
THEY are fond of titles in the East.
| Among his other high sounding titles
| the King of Ava has that of Lord of
| Twenty-fo four Umbrellas" This looks as
though he was prepared for long reign
"Do you observe what fine head
my boy has 2' said an admiring father
to circle of friends. "Come here my
son. You're chip of the old block,
aren't your" ayes, pa. The teacher
told me yesterday that I was regular
blockhead." se# 5E.
A COUNTY CLERK in Iowa recently re-
ceived note reading as follows: Mis-
| ter Klurc-Sur-Issoo marrig iseDs to
| wunst for Mister - and Mis- - for
circumstances requir 'em to marry rite
orr They is old enuff, --, step
mother and ant.
Z" MA, am going to make some soft
soap for the fair this Fallr' said a
| beautiful miss of seventeen to her
mother the other day. What put
that notion into your head, Sally p"
"Why, ma, the premium is just what 1
have been wanting" Pray, what is
itP "a Worcester Farmer; 1 hope
he will be good looking one."
SOLICITING relief of an English lady, a
| Frenchman gravely said: Madame, l
nevaire beg, but dat 1 have Won wife vid
several small family dat is growing very
large, and nosing to make dere bread
out of but de perspiration of my own
eyebrow"
| CoURT-RooMs are almost daily the
scene of some pleasantly of Court or
counsel. In bankrupt case recently,
where merchant named Home peti-
toned for discharge from his liabilities,
the following epigram was made:
| That Homer should bankrupt be.
| Is not so very Odd-d'ye see,
| If it be true, as I'm instructed.
| So Ill-he-had his books conducted.
"I SAY, milkman, you give your COWS
too much salt" "Why, how do you
know how much salt I give them p
al judge from the appearance of the
milk you have brought us lately. Salt
makes the COWS dry, and then they
drink too much water-that makes
their milk thin, you know"
A HARVARD graduate, who has been
more devoted to terrestrial than celes-
tial studies during his course, at his
final examination in physics was asked
"Mr. -, what planets were known to
the ancients Pr "Well, SIR" he re-
sponded, "there were Venus and Jupi-
ter, and"-after pause-"I think the
earth, but Pm not quite certain"