The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-04-20
VOLUME e---.No.. AZ.
ALL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.

~ why 10 u grant OF real eetat6 more
valid if made on Sunday7 Because tho
better the day, the better the decd.
= Young lady physicians are multiply.
ing throughout our country, and as re.
suit, it is said, the young men are beccm.
ing more sickly than they used to be.
"A little boy, hearing his father say,
"there is time for all things" asked his
mother "when was the proper time for
hooking sugar oat of the sugar.bowl?"
An inhuman jailor in the Michigai,
State Prison hires an organ grinder by
the day, and the eonvicts appeal to the
law against cruel and unusual punish.
,pents.
- A devoted Radical, who wanted
Grant to be as much like the father Of bits
country as possible, prayed that tho
"mantel-piece of Washington might fall
upon him." Amen
- To cure dyspepsia-close all the
outcr. doors of four-story house, open
the inner doors, and then take long
switch and chase cat up and down stairs
until she sweats.
- The following short rules fer the
caro- of furniture are from an article In
the Tschnologi1: "Keep water awayfrom
everything porous, alcohol from varnish,
and acids from marble"
- Horace Greeley writes that rust in
wheat is caused by the oxidation of the
surface of the grains. If wiped perfectly
dry and enclosed in buckskin sacks, we'll
oiled, wheat will never rust.
GNayar roDroyo ., <h;ld In reLl+v {o<
chewing, or smoking, or swearing" No,
never,reprove him harshly. The only way
to cure him is to thrash aim within an
inch of his life.
A Western lover says OF his parting
from his adored one: "Her last words
fell, like great rocks, into the sea Of my
sorrows, and splashed the briuy. water
into my eyes,"
A curious typographical error re-
comfy occurred in morning paper In
giving an account of coroner's inquest,
it stated that "the deceased bore an acci-
dent character, and the jury rendered .
verdict of excellent DEATH"
= A holy life is made up Of number
Of small things. Little words, not elo-
quent speeches or sermons little deeds,
not miracles, nor battles, nor one great,
heroic act or mighty martyrdom, make
up the true Christian life.
"A clever repartee is attributed to
the momber from Mormondom In the new
Congress. A brother member asked him
how many wives he had Enough to
keep mo from running after other pso-
ple's," he promptly replied.
- The Boston Post sometimes credits
witticisms to the "Lou. Cou. jour- The
latter complained of the abbreviatioR.-
The offender now quotes from what it
calls the "Louighiuieylle Ce4ghrisyrye
Joeughrrenaille"
"A peddler, calling out an old lady to
dispose of some goods, inquired if she
could tell him any road on which no ped
dler had Travelled, as he would like to-
speculate with some old spectacles.-
eyes," she replied, "the road to Heaven"
They have new style of temperance
society in North Georgia. The members
may drink anything they pay for, bat
pledge themselves not to invits any one
else to drink, nor to accept an invitation
from any one else. The society has regu-
lar officers and is conducted in many re-,
spects like the Good Templars.
The Arkansas editor has q very DEL
icate way of remarking that you lie. "If
we owed the devil liar" says tho Little
Rock Republican, for instance, "and his
Satanic Majesty would not take the Mem
phis Press, boiled down, in payment, VIC
should consider him o very short sighted
and unreasonable devil, to say the least
of it."'
A deacon in one of our city churches.
a few days since, took to task lady
member Of the congregation, who resides
some distance in the country, for not at
tending evening services more regularly,
and inquired into the why's and where
fores of the seeming negligence. "Well,"
said the lady, "the truth is am SO busy,
and live so far away, that It is all I can
possibly do to get time to go to the thea.
tre."
= The Biddeford (ke.) journal says
family troubled by neighbor in tie same
building borrowing things without their
leave in their absence, lately tried the ex-
pertinent of leaving their Kerosene can
filled with water. The lady of the other
part of the house, not. long after, called
to inquire where they bought their kero-
sene, for hers wouldn't burn. She had
wasted nearly bunch of matches, but
could not light her lamp
- Seven Cincinnati spinstcrs have or
ganized themselves into a matrimonial
Commercial detective agency for the pug-
pose of obtaining information concerning
tho standing of young gentlemen in the
match business. ANY maiden having an
offor may apply to the bureau with the
full confidence of ascertaining the exact
mercantile value Of the partnership into
which she is invited to enter. No fees
demanded, as the pleasure OF the investi-
gation amply compensates its laborious-
nn,s