National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1871-02-24
The Professor IN Shafts.

n most distinguished mathematician
whose works are still used as text book
in many of our institutions-and occur
red within the the compass of our owl
experience.
He went to Bethel on his return, h,
spent the Sabbath ut Lewiston. Mon
day morning he was told the horse wa!
sick. Nevertheless, he started. Tn,
horse went few rods, fell down, ant
broke both thills. He then sent his wifi,
home, and also sent to Brunswick foI
another horse and carriage to take hin
and the broken chaise home. When tn,
driver came they lashed the two vehicle,
together and started. All went well til
they came to the top of steep hill he
tween Lewiston and Brunswick ; on it
summit they held consultation. The
Professor had an exaggerated idea OF his
strength, and said, Mr.. Chandler, it is
too much for the horse to hold these two
carriages on this steep descent take the
horse out and l will go into the shafts.
Professor, replied Chandler, the
preaching Is strong, and 80 is the arm
girth"
But, the horse, Mr.. Chandler-it is
too much for the horse. Besides, being
stronger, l know how to take advantage
of the descent, and manage it much bet.
ter than the horse"
:" If the horse cant hold il, you can't y
DO you, sir, mean to place me, i'll
point of intelligence and knowledge of
mathematical forces below horse
have made mathematics the study Of a
lifetime"
- have no intention 10 be disrespect-
ful, sir but l know that horse under
stands his business which is handling n
load down II hill-better than all the pro-
fessors in the United States. was sent
here by my employer, who conhdes in
me to take care of his property if you
Will take the business out Of my hands,
and be horse yourself, you must be an
swerable for the consequences.
The Professor had habit when II
little excited Of giving nervous twitch
at the lapel of his coat with his right
hand
II, he replied, with most emphatic
twitch, assume all responsibility.
The driver nothing 10th to witness the
operation, took the horse out and held
him by the bride and the professor
getting into the shafts took hold of them
at the ends The forward carriage was
Just descending the hill and the hinder
one just on the summit when the pro-
fessor trod on rolling stone, which
caused him to plunge forward and in
creased the velocity of the load 50 much
that he was forced to walk much faster
than he desired and exchange his slant
ing position--with his shoulders thrown
well back and his feet well braced which
lie had at first adopted-for perpendic-
ular one, At length he was pushed into
run the carriages We're going at n
fearful rate. At the bottom of the hill
was brook on each side, precipitous
banks. The professor was between Scylla
and CharyDdis, going nine feet at leap.
In order to cramp the forward wheel, he
turned suddenly to the right. The shafts
Of the forward carriage were run two
feet III the bank, breaking both of them
off short ; the lashings of the hinder
one slipped; it ran into the forward one
breaking the tender and both vehicles
turned over and over down the hill with
a crash, the learned gentleman describ
ing parabola-one Of his favorite fig
ures-and landing some rods away. He
rose from the earth dirtier and wiser
man knees skinned, pantaloons torn,
piece of skin knocked off his forehead,
and his best hat as flat as q pancake un-
der the wheels of hind carriage; and
looking round, he exclaimed, Is it pos
sible could have been so much deceived
as to the momentum ? 1t was prodigi-
Gus
Il don't know anything about mo-
mentum," replied Chandler, "but /
know something about horses. know
that it makes mighty difference about
holding back load on steep hill,
whether horse has two legs or four,
and whether he weighs i hundred and
seventy-fve or twelve hundred pounds"
1t cost the Professor thirty-seven dol
lars and fifty cents to ascertain how
much horsepower he represented.
The Portland Press Is pleading the
wroAg gs of imprisoned debtors. 1t says
that mo less than ninety eight were i'm
prisoned in our county Jail during the
past year, to say nothing of the consider
able number arrested and compelled to
disclose without going to jail. This is
about one-siXth of the whole number
committed to Jail and more than were
sent there for any single offence. If as
many debtors are imprisoned in other
counties in proportion to their popula- |
ton, the total for the State would be not
far from six hundred" The Press ur-
ges the Legislature to revise the law on
this subject, it being now so vague and
general that the debtor is constantly la
bic to be made the victim of sharpers
and pettifoggers who are lying in wait
to make prey of him.
One of the chamberlains Of the En-
peror of Austria, Count Attems, has
been found guilty of "careless bank
ruptcy," and sentenced to one months !
impri sonment His debts are nearly
$500, 900. During the trial, evidence
was produced to show that he had signed |
n receipt for S36, 240, for which he re-
ceived as equivalent an opera-glass and
three watches, two of which were appro-
priated by the person who had been the
agent in this transaction, as a bonus for
his trouble.
A member of the Connecticut legisla-
ture was told by fellow member that it
was "a good day for the race" "What
race ?" said the victim. Human
race, said the joker. The man was so
with the sell that he tried i:
on friend after the following fashion
- It's good day for the trot" "What
trot ?" asked the other. "Tbe human
race, shouted the Joker.