Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-12-30

a gentleman.
When is a concert singer silent
When he holds his piece.
Ought to be ''put down" carpets at
this season of the year.
What is stronger than a council of
ten? A potent-eight.
During the present Fisk al year the
Erie railroad has not done so well.
Mans greatest enemy is the wine
glass woman's is the looking glass.
Why is the crow brave bird ? Be
cause he never shows the white feather.
Imagine the distress of the milliner
who forgot on which side Of the rose to
put the hat.
The Boston Post has seen a rope walk
But that's nothing We have seen a
sword-ish
The Norwich Adrerhiser considers L
Pluribus Unum a good name for the son
of Mormon.
What is the difference between q sick
girl aud brickba.? One is all Ill miss,
aud the other is missile
1t is said thas Boaz married because
he feared hat his iabolera would thiuk
bin a Ruthless master.
A Georgia jnstiee Is said to swear
witnesses on patent oaiee reports. II
reports true, It's Pateat way.
Sailors wages are contained in such
small poekctbooks thtt they are thought
to be only Port~moncys.
Sunhry scoffsr. ,firn, ,hss the. "rarc"
paintings n the Jarves collection are
not "weli done - Boston Past.
The Grand Duke wore no orders; but
Gen. Dix received him on hoard the
Powell with deck-oration.
What is a conundrum Something
to guess at. What is clearinghouse
hash \ conundrum Ergo
Nearly two millions of the inhabitants
Of the earth are still addicted to baked
missionary, when they can get it.
Selma, Alabama, has negro girl who
can skip the rope with a pallfull ofslops
on her head and not sIop over.
Some "horrid" man says that in the
present style Of dressing young ladies'
hair, it is hard to tell which is switch
The origin of wine like man 5, should
be referred to monkeys, since it is un,
doubtedly gray apes.-Atrocious New
York daily.
A Cincinnati horse doctor adver,ises
to teach horse to sing, which suggests
to the Boston Post that we have enough
one horse singers already.
"Gojng to see the young Russian
land 7" said Jones to Smith " No"
retorted the latter, with wink, I'm
going to see the young Roman,off!"
1t is said that lightning strikes but
once in place, but the Brighton (Me)
Neaos says Mr.. Martin, of Brownfield,
has been insured iu six different fire
Companies, in SO many years, all of
which have failed before the term Of
insurance expired.
In these days of frequent divorce it
may not be naatapropos to quote from
recent English book good anecdote of
Opie and Goodwin. Opie was divorced
from his first wife, and Goodwin was an
infdel. They were walking together
near st. Martins Church ala !" said
Opie :" was married in that Church. +"
Indeed p said Goodwin, "and I was
christeued in it "Itis not good shop"
replied Opie; "Meir work don't lastm
The late Hon. John Smith, of New
York, used to start for Washington with
- single clean collar IN his hat, which
made his entire change of linen. On
reaching Williard's Hotel, the porter
asked, /" Shall | carry your luggage to
your room, sir ?" To which the lion
John gracefully removed his hat, ex
hibited that solitary collar to the porter s
bewidered gaze, and politely replied
Thank you, can carry it myselfp
On another occasion, arriving at
Jersey City from Washington, after go>
ing on the fcrry-boat, some one inquired
of John, sis your luggage aboard 2"
/" Yes" Where is II" Well, here
I staDd--in the center Of a." which
was an accurate statement of the fact.