The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1871-08-12
The Darwinian Theory.
The MONKEYS HEAR OF 1T. AND
ARE MUCH EXCITED IN CONSE
CUENCE.

uCSSCbN va man - 'iN''i'S =" az
mendouS sensation among Ehe
monkeys. They have just heard
of it, and are terribly exercised.
They repudiate the whole theory.
That man descended from them
they consider slur on the whole
monkey race.
A cage of John RobinSOn'S mon
keys held IN indignant meeting
over the matter the other day,
after the performance. y veneer
able chimpanzec, whose gray
hairs entitled him TO the GiStinc-
tion, was made chairman; and sit
ting in swing, presided with the
utmost dignity. lie got Il little
excited i'll his speech as he took
the chair, but this was pardOna-
ole under the circumStanceS.-
What" exclaimed the Vcnerab BILE
baboon, "Man descended from us!
| repudiate the idea with ScOrn.
True we have our faults. We are
are accused Of cutting up monkey
shines sometimes, aud not without
cause, but this attempt to make
HIS father the human race is alto
gether too much. Is it not enough
that poverty requires us TO travel
around the country in this manner
TO make a livelihood: TO exhibit
ourselves TO gaping men, women
and children. at so much a head,
(when Two thirds OF them have no
head at all to speak off, without
having it flung into our faces that
we originated the pack OF fools
STYLED men p
His remarks were received with
every expression of possible de
light to the monkey. Some stood
OIL their pyramidial heads, others
hung on bytheir tails, while others
threw ilipAaps from one enc oi
the cage to the other.
4 monkey who had travelled
much and seen u great deal, and
who mad probably used the eats
paw TO pull more chcStnutS out OF
the fire than any other monkey OF
his age, next addressed his fellow
monkeys.
Said he: EsThis Darwin has in,
tlicted Il disgrace upon us that nc
monkey of any SelfrcSpcct will
hesitate to resent. ] fling his base
insinuatiOnS back into his teeth
a wild chatter of appiauSe.) Il
man was indeed descended from
us, what a fail WAS there, my
countIymen. Prolonged howl:
of derision. If had this base
Slanderer of our race-thiS Oar
win, who DIR 7ciR fame by ira
ducing us-l would r-r-rend hin
i'll pieces with these pcntadartey
with this prehensile tail!' I'm
mense cheering.
The chairman interrupted the
speaker to remind him that nt
puns would be allowed. Nobody
but men pcrpetrated punS, ant
a pun was altogether beneath the
dignity OF any monkey, who haC
the least respect for himself. Thu
speaker promised TO be NOR,
guarded in the future, and pro
ceeded with his remarks:
clock at the follieS men per
petrate every day. Did you eve
know a monkey to make such
fool of himselfas they do? Di,
you ever know a monkey 10 buy
ticket TO a menagerie, and 60 Stal
ing around and making remark
about better people than himself
Did monkey ever get drunk, O
talk about his ncighbors, or wea
a plug hat, (unleSs it was faStrne,
on his head by a detestable un
master OF sue for divorce, 0
color his whiskerS. or 90 int
bankruptcy, or cheat the printeI
or get elected cOuncilman, OF ri
for Congress Never" scream
and ScreecheS Of assent.
MAN descended from the mon
key, indeed five were descend
Ell from man it would be sufficient
~ diSgracefnl. / get ashame
when think there is Il pOSSihilit
OF a connecting link. Look a
them in theirpolirical convention,
IN our most idiotic moments Iii
we ever howl and yell as they Dc
Look at them in Congress. :
whole menagerie on u drunk c0nl
not behave worse. And wher
did they get it: They didn't &c
it from Us, that is sure thing
The key TO their cusSed nOnSenS
is not the monkey. An admor
fishing shake of the head from th
President. Mr.. Darwin mus
SaaL- tnr. his nlc.,-l -