The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1871-09-09
Stebbins Draws A Natural.

Hat, "did you know Younglove Steb-
bins? You knew him. Sykes?"
"I'll bet you," said Sykes.
"Wasn't he screa m .r?
"He could get away with any of 'em,"
said Sykes.
"Well," continued White Hat, tone
night me and Stebbins and Bob Eg:le-
ston were up to Pastors eatin' oysters,
and after we got through went down to
the bar to pay. A lot of fellows were
eating and drinking there, and Talking
about homely men. L don't care what
you say says one fellow, you let Bill
Williamson work his face as he pleases,
and I'll back him agin the three uglicst
men in the Union"
"How's that, Bill ?" says another fell
low, looking at tolcrably plain man
with smooth face standing by.
"sOh, he's foolin',' said Bill, swallow
ing his toddy, aud wiping his mouth with
his hand. There ain't nothiu' disagree
able about me-"
"'Excuse me, gentlemen, says 1, I'm
stranger, but is that the man you're
backing for plain featuros 2"
That's the man. says the first
spokesman.
81 turnod round and leaned ag'in the
bar, and looked at him. and says l, mo
paint, not feathers, nor nonsense 2"
Nothing but the features that God
has given him. says another.
"'How much would you be willing to
waste on him 2 says 1.
Largely says he. 'Ileavy money
talks United States promises to pay
aud he hauled out u big pocket book, and
slapped it OH the counter.
Champagne supper would be moth
ing, says L.
- e. Not rced-bird's eye, says he.
Sim the man you're looking for l
says, and i'll ten minutes we had jury
'iasNsiici, and WAS tralnlpg Slcbbina
for his part
''lIe hauled down the corners of his
mouth, rolled his eyes as if ho had fit,
and | led him in. But l knew in a
minute was boat. That fellow of theirs
stood in front of the judges, and he
looked like whole family OF wild Aus.
tralian children rolled into one. He
never moved muscle, but looked with
an idotic lecr at the ceiling, aud waited
for the verdict. The jury didn't leave
their seats. They said it was clear
and it was, and walked off.
Now, says L, 'Stebbins, you must
do your best; wevo got two more
chances, and l want you to spread your
self
"Stcbbins prepared himself, aud l
must say, he was melancholy sight.
The right side of his moustache was
stuck in his nose, and his mouth was
screwed around until it touched the lap
pei of his left ear, and we walked in.
But there stood their man, and | didn't
care about seeing another such sight.
Every hair on his head was standing
straight forward like fencestakcs. and
his eyes were turned in towards his nose
till you could see the bucks of them. /
never knew how he did it, but | hope l
may die if he hadn't swallowed his nose
and there he stood. The opposition
gave shout, and l knew we was bca.
again. And so we was, and went back,
feeling pretty blue.
"We're beat, Stebbins, says 1, 'and
don't know what the hnvna ole -.
but | never aaw you look SO well US you
do to-day Tom Eggeston was out Of
patience. IF the cussed fool would
stand natural, says he, he'd beat ca.
yet .. ~.
"Thc idea struck NE in n minute.
Try 'em, Younglove, says l. Just
leave your face the way Heaven made it,
and let's go in.'
"Stebbins was practicng before the
glass, but when he turned round aud
sobcrcd down, looked at him, and says
I, that's enough If they eau beat
that face I'm ready to pay
"Stebbins said it was no use, but we
led him in, in his normal condition, and
when they looked at him they screamed
Even their man, who had got all his
faces into one, and who stood there
working his ears beside, and looking like