Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-08-17
= Brevities and Levities.

and has not stopped yet; her 1ather says
she can howl forever, but she'll get no 50
cents out of him to buy hustle.
Sar Mrs. Augusta Wilbur, Of Grundy
county, discovered that her husband had
made a sort OF q brevet wife of q servant
girl whom she had employed to tighten
her labors. At the mouth of the deadly
revolver she ordered the pair from the
premises, and now runs that farm herself.
D9 The following is copy of post-
cal invitation on the sign Of the Beehive,
an old inn at Abingdon, Va, kept by VIII
liam Honey. Honeg.;;zs.--.-,a......4.
within this hive we. .re aIIaIive -
Good liquor makes us funny;
# You are dry, step in and try
The flavor of our honey.
@ A neighboring exchange says that
one Of the fashions of this season Is to
read over all the advertisements in the
paper, and see if all the stores are keeping
up with the season and styles. If you
miss any familiar name from the list OF
business men, you can know that they are
not keeping up with the times, and are
keeping out of sight on this account,
E A Sacramento bride has commen-
ced her honeymoon with 100000 check
from "the old man."
nr A man living in Eastern North
Carolina has not washed or put on clean
shirt in ten years. He is at present a
candidate for Office on the Radical Ticket.
@ A man in Davenport, Iowa, offers
through the columns Of local paper to
give $50 to any man who will elope with
his wife
@"I was not aware that you knew
him." said Tom Smith to an Irish friend
the.other day. Know him." said be, IN a
tone which comprehended the knowledge
of more than one Life, II knew him
when his father was boy"
E Speaking of the condition OF a
patient, doctor remarked to his legal
friend that " his constitution was nearly
gone" "Then let him fall back. on his by
laws" was the cruel reply.
@ A daughter of New York stock
broker exults over the fact that she has
been to Europe six times and has never
seen the inside of her mothers kitchen.
@" 40, grandma" cried a mischiev-
Gus little urchin, at cheated the hens SO
nicely just now. 1 threw them your gold
beads, and they thought it was corn and
they eat them up as fast as they could !"
@r At certain hotel in Ohio large
mirror is placed at the entrance OF the
dining-hall, which is so constructed that
as you go in you see yourself a thin, ca
daverous, hungry person, but when you
come from the table, and look again in
the glass, your bodyis distended to the
extremity Of corpulency. So pleasant is
the illusion that you go away satisfied
with your wel-fed, sleek condition, even
if you rise hungry from the table.
E For one woman who gets hus-
band by means of ashowy dress and costly
jewels, nine fail to get husbands because
Of their attire and disposition and taste
it indicates.
h@ A colored man was arranged be-
fore one, of the Camden courts short
time since charged with the larceny Of
some wood. When called on to plead to
the indictment, he said :. II bought the
wood, and dat knows I did; but to save
my soul from the gallis, cannot tell the
man I bought it Of, kase bought it in
the dark. guess I'll plead guilty"
sar An old lady from one Of the rural
districts aatonished clerk in one Of the
stores, a few days ,,go, by inauiring if he
had any "ysller developments ach az
I.they did up letters in"
E An Irisb,man having jumped into
the water to save a man from drowning
upon receiving 4 quarter from the. person
as ily5 reward for the service, looked first at
the money money and then at him, and at las'
exclaimed, e I'm oyerpaid for the job."