The weekly Arizona miner., 1871-02-25
The> S9iner.
A HARpsHELL SERMON IN AR.
 KANSAS,

Tsrs. "And when they rig up airiy in the nor. nh, behold they wOS all dead eorpusses." My breihring and siatring, I will preach | onto you this day, wind and weather permit | tn, from the thirty seventh chapter uv Isaiah, | thirty-sixth verse, which reads as follows: "An the destroyin angel smote in the camp | av the Syrenians a hundred and foreseore an ! five thousing men-aud when they all rig up l airiy in the moFna, behold they was all dead 1 corpusses." An thus it is. my beloved friends an friend 1 iv bearers, that the des,royin angel stalks | abroad, ready to send us to the bone-yard be- ] fore we can rise up in tho mornin and sot | down to breakfast An 1t is said, my friends 1 that roses is red and Yiolets Is blue, but it's ! no use trying to honey -fugle round angel Ga 1 briel when he toots bis horn for you to hand in your checks and prepare to git under dirt, for you'll hev to hunt your hole then, sartin, 'An when they rig up airly in the mornin, behold they was all dead cotpusses." My wretched brethring an sistring, as l was ridin along the road one day, seen man settin on the top uv his fence, with a double-barrelled shotgun on his lap, an swettin an a fannin uY hisself with an old straw hat, an cussir uv the Fourth of July, an North America, an tha Constitootion, and the Supreme Court, an the President uv the United States an the Bird uv Liberty, an the Freedmen's Euro, an the Fifteenth Amend ment; an when hearu that man q cussn, an seen that big shotgun, thinks to my self, in the words uv the text:
 "An when they rig up airly in the mornin, behold they was all dead corpusses.n
 An l tole roau 10 wo, an sez l, "my ungod- iy fren, eff you sware in that are way, you'll furever an etarnally ruinate yer immortal soul, an never get nibble when you go a. fishin. An seq he, "You go to thunder, you durned old misshapen, misbegotten mistake uT creation Ef you had to get the grass out uv a cotton crop with free niggers, you d git on a stump an cuss yourself out uy your durned old yaller hiden Sez l, 'my erin fren, it cuts me to the marrer to see you strugglin in the bondidge uv sim An sez he, "my pumpkin faced customer, eff you can cline that tall red-oak thar, an see anything in this miserable land but bondidge an crab grass, you kin take my ole hat for hens nest" An seq I, "my hard swearin fren, I'm afeard you'll never register your name in the book uv etarnal lifen An sez he, {" 1 went to town last week to register. but could nit get sight uy the book, fur the infarnal greasy niggers" "Oh, mistaken human," seZ 1, 'T trimble for yer futur, for you are on the road leadin to perdishun." An ser he, "You are cussed ole liar, for m on the road leadin 10 Benton"
 hove sigh, an sez I, in the langwidge uv my text:
 An when they rig up airly in the mornin, behold they was all dead corpussesn
 An he sez, "Let lem rise, an the devil take 'em hl." "0h, sufferin feller-creetur," sez 1. "Ef you would but sue for grace, ye might come an jine the heyinly quire, an be manci- pated rum the shackles uv sin, an escape eyerlastn perdishun ln An he cooked his gun, and seZ he, "I had twenty-six likely niggers mancipated on my hands, an if you open yer jaw bone bout msncipation to me agin, Fl make buzzard vittlcs out uv yer internal ole carcass quicker n hell could scorch gnat ' My constant frens an hearers, when seer that wicked man a cockin uv his gun, I begir to feel mighty jubus, an the words uv my text smote upon my car:
 An when they rig up airly in the mornin behold they was all dead corpusses."
 But, my christian hearers felt called upor to try my hand once more on this poor ob jurit man, an sez l, My blasphemoos fren you are continually and eternally damned e you don't immejitely get down off that a fence, and go to some sequestered spot al pray for your souls redempshunr An shur nuff he did jump down often the fence, bu he did n't hunt no sequestered spot, my un godly hearers he stuck that big, ole double bsrrelied shotgun close up to my reyerent head, and sez he: II have hearn that SC quester was the next thing to conliseator an If that's yer business in this here settle fnent, you had better begin 10 grow might small and beautifully less" An, my hearers 1t looked to me as ef a drove uv mules eoul have trotted down the barrels uv that ar ol shotgun, an put spurs to ole roan, an ga 1uped through the wilderness for four-and twenty hours; an thinks l, my hearers, that man don't pull up soon, he n get to tb end uv his rope, an take up his abode whi the worm dieth not, and the fire is nc squinched; for, in the langwidge uv my tex with slight variation:
 "An when he rises up airfy in the mornil behold he will be damned"
 An share null, my patient hearers, in abou thres days, that poor, ungodly, prOffonate man was tux up by the Freedmen's Euro. q tried by nillingtary commission an hung fr kiliiD uV nigger. An, my listenin frens a hearers, when 1 seed him standin on tI great 'mEnensity nv space, between wind a weather, kiekin at the fourth district, sez in the hngwidge of the inspired hime:
 "One moro sinner dead and gone,
 silver spade to dig hie grave;
 .. golding chain to let him down; bugle horn t0 blow him on."
 An when they rig up airly in the morni behold they was all dead corpusses." ....
 The brethring will sing coneludin him while the deaoons hand aound the hat for il nickles.