Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-03-23
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
COMMON SuERs--Lawyers.

screams
A SIGNAL EAILuRE--A railway acc
dent.
FANCY WORK "--Imaginative poetry
1.-THE PACIFIC MAILS Quiet hus
bands.
THE Canadian Dominion has forty
three daily newspapers.
How to get the exact weight Of a fish
Weigh him in his own scales
WEST POINT cadets receive $500 yea
and one ration day.
THE number of poems composed il
German, on the war, is said TO be abou
6000
THERE were 1852 divorces in Rhod,
Island last year, or divorce to every Il
marriages.
A PENNSYLVANIA man has taken tn,
Norristown Register regularly for fifty
seven years
THERE are six hundred and eighteen
quack doctors, mediums, aud fortune'tel
lers in New York city.
THE charter of the Washington Life
secures all the profits to the insured More
than this cannot be done.
THE wind blows with such force in Col
has 10 telegraph to the next station tc
have some one stop II.
NEW York merchant absent mind
cdly copied love-lctter to his "heart's
IDOL in the letter book of the firm, be
fore sending it,
AN advertisement Of cod liver oil winds
up: Patients who have once taken il can
take no other" A candid confession.
THE coal miners of Great Britain pro
duced, last year, l07000,000 tons, worth
ISl,000,0 O0, and the furnaces made 5000,
600 tons Of pig iron.
The assets of tho Mutual Life, of Chi
cago are of the most solid character--cash
government securities, real estate securi.
ties.
THE total expenditures of the French
Government for the last year were four
hundred and eleven millions Of dollars in
gold.
IT Is estimated that 225 900 cubic
feet Of earthly matter are deposited annu.
ally by the Mississippi, at the Southwest
Pass In the Gulf.
MAMMA here, George. Here's
nice pudding. win you be II good boy
now, and come and have some2' George
twho has been put in the corner for misbe.
haylor). -" What sort O puddin' is 1t, ma
GREELEY wrote something about "Su.
bnrban Journalism Advancing" The
compositor thought IL was one of his agri.
cultural articles, and launched out wildly
on "Superb Jerusalem Artichokes."
OLD LADY Cat railway statiom -''Whcu
does the next train stop here?" Porter
(eXplaining) .--" Wen, In, ye see the next
IIt'f "a, pt,,, "a, AL
train as stops here don't go no further
and the next is through express" etc
etc tOld lady is much better for the ex
planation.)
THE Petersburg fRdeg reads long lee
ture in leading article on the subject OF
shoe strings, with the purpose of proving
that ladies waste in the aggregate few
million hours every day in lacing their
boots time which might be saved by
wearing CATERS with classics
The amount of deposits in the various
savings banks of the State of New York
is $4,000. 1898, and the number of de
positors about 10000 The securities and
Investments amount TO SEQ, 773, 0S3 AZ
while there is a cash surplus of $T95,.
52202
THERE are 5,244 newspapers published
in the United States, distributed as fol.
lows New York, 076; Pennsylvania, AS
Ohio 81; Massachusetts, 80. Making
an average of 265 to the State The re,
mainder of the States and Territories
average eighty four each,
1T is estimated that the new debt con.
traoted by France IN the late war, and in
its settlement, will compel the people to
raise eighty millions more per annnm than
they have ever done before Moreover, by
the loss Of Alsace and Lorraine, there viii
be shrinkage in revenue to the amount
OF eighteen millions.
A GOOD story is told at the expense Of a
young lawyer in st. Jose, Cal. He was
very anxious to defend Chinaman in the
police court against the charge Of petty
thieving Having assumed that position,
what was his establishment to find his
client using a handkerchief with his own
name marked upon it.
Mr. SHOCKS was asked the other day
how he could account for natures forming
him so ugly, Mature WAS not to blame,h
said he "When | was two months old |
was considered the handsomest child in
the ncighborhood, but my nurse snapped
me away for another boy, just to please a
friend of hers, whose child was rather
tAely-looklng"
PANS on the day of the captulation had
meat and bread Tor eight more days. In
these eight days l,2O5 horses out of the
26,t00 would have been slaughtered. The
remainder OF 2l,300, at the rate of 1900
per day, would have been just enough for
another week. In other words, Paris
might have held out fifteen days longer, II
IL had consented to subject itself to
greater prlvations.
a MAINE paper reports spiritual mar
riage, asserting that, ut a recent "circle,
ayoung woman asked if the spirit of her
dead lover was present and, on being an
swered in the affirmative, and told, more
over, that he wished TO marry her, had \
Justice Of the Peace called in. and the Ger.
emony performed The spiritual and
spirited bride now claims the property of
the dead man,
A LIGHTHOUSE keeper, recently appoint.
ed on the New Jersey coast made a ride.
ulous blunder. Immediately after he had
taken possession, complaints were made
that the lights went out by IL O'Clock.
The proper officer was at once sent to
look into the matter, snd he was told that
complaints were made against him. For
WHAT was the inquiry WHY" re,
piled the officer, they say that yolr lights
do not burn after 10 o'clock al night"
well" was the reply al know they
don't, for | put EN- out myself then, for l
thought all vessels had got in by that
time and / wanted tA On yp tho lin W