The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1871-12-16
A cow'D down ciGy-Chicago.

Cow'D down ciIy-Chlcago.
WHAT is stronger than a council of
tenf potent. eight.
NEWSPAPERS which are largely made
up by the use Of scissors may be said
to be clipper-brilt
MORPHINE should never be taken to
induce sleep. An overdose is too apt
to bring on an overdOze.
WHAT is it that has three feet and
cannot walk, sixteen nails and cannot
scratch2 a yard stick.
TEUToNIo summing up of New York
politicians-"S Soon mittion honest
fellers MKT opp nit tam many tievis."
"WHo is that foreign lady with the
low-cut Gress," asked a bystander at
party "That is Miss Chemisoff,
Russian lady, y was the reply.
SMART young school-ma ANS, entire
ly without the aid of sewing machine,
frequently collar and cuff a small boy
In less than thirty seconds.
ARTIST" Have there been many az
lists down here this season to paint the
fisherwomen? Old Lady Paint the
tisherwomen Bless your innocence,
It's their material color ~
An Indiana editor says eve leave
tomorrow for the county hog show,
and hope to take prize.
JUPITER is getting in bad way !; an
astronomer notices the ''rosy protu-
berance now visible on his face. Evi.
IDENTIFY Jupiter has been "out too
much O nights.
A LOVING wife in Connecticut sent
note to a newspaper announcing her
husbands death as follows: "Dear
John Is dead. Loss covered by insu-
rance
A LADY offered q prayer to ST. Igna-
thus for the conversion of her husband
A few days afterward the man died.
| ''What good Saint Is our Ignatius u
exclaimed the discopsolate widow;
che bestows on us more benefits than
we ask for. :"
AN unsophisticated parent in Ports
mouth n. H., is said to have observed
teeth, and fastened to remedy the de
fornlity'' by purchasing SIS set.
A BURGLAR was once frightened out
of his scheme of robbery by the sweet
simplicity of a solitary splnster, who,
putting her night-capped head out of
the window, exclaimed, eco away
amt you ashamed :"
4 BRIDE IN indianna, after the con-
conclusion of the marriage ceremony,
stepped gracefully forward and re-
| quested the clergyman to give out the
hymn, "This is the way ] long have
sought"
A GENTLEMAN was introduced to
young lady recently, and addressed her
as follows: "Where do you live when
you are at Ii me % to which she
promptly replied "When | am at
home ] live there"
IT is curious fact about certain
class of beggars that they generally pull
the bell hard enough to break it, and
yet when you go to the door they bare
ly have strength enough to speak In q
whisper.
A CouNTRYMAN bargaining with
California photographer for half
length picture of himself at half price,
and when the artist delivered a fine
view of his subject from the waistbanu
down, the victimized sitter INDUCED in
remarks more forcible than polite
A WITNESS in late divorce suit kept
saying that the wife had retaliating
disposition; that she retaliated for ev-
cry little thing. 90 Did you ever see
her husband kiss her ?" asked the wife's
counsel. Yes sir, often !" "Well.
what did she do on such occasions 20
She always retallated, sir"
THE new fashion, adopted at the New
York Academy of Music, of naming the
lobby-boxes is good idea. A young
lady no longer tells her gentlemen
friends that they will see her in box SO
or 90, but "Nilsson or Patti or
some other box with an easily remem-
befed title.
LOVE, between French engaged
young couples, means the spending an
hour or two daily with the ,fo11cee I'M
der the maternal eye, or an occasional
STROLL in the gardens or drive in the
Champs EIySee, but always and every
where accompanied by the discreet
mama
AT wedding which took place re-
Gently in New York the bridal party,
evidently thinking more of themselves
than the sensation they were creating,
walked out of the church before the
llIlIiotGt Hdt Unp D1eSSlng
over them, leaving him with outstreched
hands and an astonished look on his
face as they hurried down the aisle.
A CoUNTRYMAN came to one of our
hotels and wrote after his name "P.
y. z. S. f. c." Here was title which
none but himself understood 'sPrav
my dear sir" asked the barkeeper.
'what do all these letters stand for?''
"Stand fori Why, that's my title"
Yes, sir; but what is your title ~
Why, sir, Professor of Psalmody and
Schoolmaster from Connecticut. %
A MAN from one of the rural districts
recently went to Washington to see the
sights. A member of the House, whose
constituent be was, said: s'Come up
tomorrow, and I will You seat on the
floor of the House" ''No, you DON'T"
replied Jonathan; II always manage
to have cheer to set on at home, and
bet L haln't come to Wash ton to
set on the floor Injuns may do that
when they come, if they like, but /.
that am civilized, don't do it.
A LITTLE boy was being instructed in
morals by his grandmother. The old
lady told him that all such terms as
''by golly,' 'by jingo," 'sby thunder"
&C., were only little oaths, and but lit
tie better than other profanities In
fact, she said, he could tell profane
oath by the prefix ''by." All such were
OofbS tGyVol thon