Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-17
CURRENT ITEMS.
HARD TO BEAr-A boiled egg.

| AN AMAolNAhh QuANIlih-A lhuy
age.
OF what trade are the bees9 Comb
makers.
A PITCHED BATTLE--A fight between
two tars.
MEAN TDrE-The time when ones note
| falls due.
A COMMON DFFERENcE-A matri
monial squabble.
WEsToN's friends kindly advise him not
to walk again until he walks the plank.
ONE of the cheapest things in Maine is
board Lodging is not so cheap.
WHY do draughtsmen like cold weather
Because they can drdao round the fire.
A POLICY issued by the Washington in
1861, for $4,000, in 1866 had increased to
$11 1870
IT is estimated that nine inches of dry
snow on the ground is equal to one inch Of
water.
THE ladies give as reason for marrying
for money, that they now seldom find any
thing else in man worth having.
A KALAMAZOO, Mich, chap was arrested
for forgery the other day. and offered
forged checks as security for his appear
ance on the day of trial.
Ii your house is mortgaged, insure your
life in the Mutual Life of Chicago for o
sufficient amount to cover the mortgage.
THE Jail at Keene, N. H., being tenant.
less, the local paper suggests that "as the
rogues seem to be all outside, it might be
utilizedaRs a safe retreat for a few honest
people of. retiring disposition"
WOMAN is delusion, madaml" ex-
claimed cIustv old bachelor to a witty
young lady. "And man is always hug
ging some delusion or other" was the
quick reply.
A NEW HAMPSHIRE man, who was ar
rested for selling liquor, has revenged him
self upon the man who complained
against him by cutting off the tail of his
horse.
JOHN BURNS, San Francisco, has been
declared insane for threatening to shoot
his wife and set fire to his house. A local
paper says that as the former is very
homely, and the latter fully insured, the
evidence is weak.
THE Boston Post prints the story of the
agile Dakota belle, who can put her hand
on the back of horse and jump clean
over him without touching a hair" and
incredulously remarks, " saw-horse, per-
haps"
A COUNTRY auditor in New Hampshire
has had presented to him, for allowance in
a lawsuit, bill, which reads: ITO doing
your chores, such as chopin wood and
feedin cattle the weeks while you lay
drunk, $21."
A wooDMAN recently felled tree, in
Owen County, Ind, in an opening of
which, So feet from the base, was found
the skeleton of bear, much decayed. The
appearance of the skeleton and its sur
roundings indicated that it must have
been there for nearly century.
AN ingenious police lawyer suggests, as
a telling incident for a sensational novel.
ist to work up, the following: Your hero
kills your heroine by poisoned postage
stamp, which he sends her in a note re-
questing an answer, and gets the evidence
of his guilt into his hands again by return
mail"
THE library of Congress contains now,
167 ,66S bound volumes, besides about 3d.
900 pamphlets. The operation Of the new
copyright law has Increased the library,
during the past year, to an unusually large
number. Upward of 5000 copyrights
have been recorded in the librarians office
during less than six months.
A CONNECTICUT manufacturer, desiring
to stock his pond with black bass, wrote
to Greeley, to inquire the way to hatch
them. The philosopher replied: BY all
means, set the eggs under a Southdown
hen. But if you want bass for eating, the
best plan is to set out an orchard of bass
wood trees, and pluck the fruit as it ma
lures "-B0ston Post
A MAN in the vicinity of Woodstock,
Vt, has been SO severely poisoned and
paralyzed by drinking cider that had been
conducted through a lead pipe into'his eel
lar, that he is unable to raise his hands to
his head or to attend to his ordinary bust
ness. The pipe was not cleansed or
rinsed out the first year, but laid away, and
used last fall without cleaning.
A CHARMING young widow of Perry
County, Ind, being unable, or unwilling,
to decide which of two lovers to bless
with her hand, induced them to settle the
question by cards" old sledge," best two
in three. Accordingly the candidates met
at the lady's residence one day lately, and
in the most amicable manner played the
momentous rubber" the loser retiring
with benediction on his successful rival
and the prospective bride.
THE other morning a bridal party entered
a palace car at the New Jersey railroad
depot in Jersey City, and after being
seated a short time, the bridegroom left the
train for few minutes only to lind on his
return that he had been left behind. In
his desperation at being separated from his
bride, he hurried to the superintendent
office, and offered Mr. jackson 800 if he
would enable him to overtake the train in
which his better-half was a passenger. Mr..
Jackson agreed to the proposal, and or
dered special engine to follow. The
anxious groom overlook his spouse at
Railway, after run of thirty minutes.
AN amusing anecdote, relative to Gen
eral Washington, is found among the old
records of tie Pension Office: AT the
siege of Boston in 1775 (then occupied by
the British troops), one extremely cold
night in December a detachment of 500
men was ordered to fortify Barrel Hill.
General Washington came on the ground,
and while unobtrusively inspecting the
operations, a soldier by the name of
Wilder, not then r, cogniZing the Com
mander-in Chief, came up quietly behind,
seized him by the shoulder, and at the
same time violently shaking him, said,
Man alive, if you don't take tool and
go to work, you will freeze to death ,"
A LUDICRoUs incident lately occurred
on Mississippi steamer, which we relate
as warning to those who attempt to
change the personal adOrnments which
nature has given them. A man who was
journeyiug to Texas with his wife thought
he would enjoy the luxury of shaving
and shampooing While this was going
on he concluded to surprise his wife, and
at his request, hair, eyebrows and whis-
kers were changed from fiery red to
raven blackness, He hastened to his state
room, but was met at the door by his
spouse, outraged by the intrusion of a
stranger as she supposed, and admittance
refused He called himself her husband !;
she said he was an imposter. He attempted
to explain. 1t was useless A crowd
gathered round, the laugh became general.
At last, in his perplexity, the hoosier ex-
claimed, "Sallie, look at my feetl" One
glance at the pedal appendages assured
her. "Yes, john" she said, "I know
feet. They can come in, bat keep that
head out of sight"