St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1871-03-17
HNU}OpSOlyP.

tEv. ry time man aiT= he takes a kink of the
ch'in ov life, and thus lengthrns it. BMLINGs
\ spoiled child-ihe one that played
with the kerosene can.
The best band to accompany a lady
vocalist-a husband.
A lady, in reply to some guests who
praised the mutton on the table, said
-"Oh, yes; my husband always buys
the best; lie is great ep,cic."
My dear" asked John, on observing
new striped hose on his only heir,
"Why have you made BARRIERS poles of
ElrneSt's legs - ''Because he's little
shaver" WAS the reply.
"There was Oil oil family fuel between
them was what the principal witness in
Il Chicago murder case said to the jury
The Judge asked her if she didn't mean
''feud," and she asked him who was
telling the story.
George" asked a teacher of a sun
day-school class, ''who above all others
shall You first wish to see when you get
to heaven ~ With face Frightening
up with anticipation, the little fellow
shouted, "G,erlah ~
Hood, in his Conu. Inn~d for 1870,
communicates the followin" from con-
trihutor; ''Sur, my wyf had a tomb
eat that died. Being torture shell and
crate faverit, we had him berried in
the guardian, and for the sake of inrich
mcnt OF the sllc, | had the carkis ladc
under the roots of a guzberry bush, the
frutc being, up till then, of the smooth
kind. But the next scson's irute after
the cat was bcrried, the guzbcrris was
all hairy, and more rlmarkabul, the
catpilcrs OF the same bash was all of the
same hairy description
y comic story is told of Dean Stanley
parrot, which was a great pet of the
whole family. One day Polly managed
to open her Gaze and get away, to the
CONSERVATION # the whole household.
After a great search some one found
Polly in the garden ON the top Of an ap-
ple-tree. The welcome news was COM
municated 10 the Dean, who, with the
whole of the inmates, rushed out at once,
accompanied by DIR. Vaughan, who,
with some friends, was then on visit
TO the Dean. Polly was found swinging
herself in Il topmost branch, but when
she discovered the large audience below
her, she looked graveIy down on them,
and said: Let us pray
When Il mans valuable horse is sick,
it is often advisable to consult skilled
veterinarian, but it is very unpleasant
not 10 be able to understand him after
lac has been called in. Witness the fol-
lowing conversation: FtUmr.-"Wh hat
do you think is the meter wi'cr, Mr.
Quackington ?" l"ury Fm1Ir Iresh
tiom tie Horsc "C"Mcyc WcH-ahcm
i think that probably the cartiagin-
GUS processes have subtcnded the ossiiica-
ton Of bone, and thereby forced the coro-
nal arch TO the magnetic meridian con-
>cqucntly, as things which are equal to
the same thing are equal to the square
of the hypothcnu>c, it follows that the
lateral thrust becomes so powerful aS to
damniiy the ellipticity OF the projection,
producing such confederation OF the
fluid portions OF the periostcum and lesion
or the less coagulatcl pigments of the
cognatc Therapeutics, as elcvatcs the
chalybeatc constituents of the anterior
extremity of the tibia, which must, OF
course, Guide the treatment to be pur-
y,,J - ITp.y,,,. ID ,r ~
\ HEALTHY INDIvIDUAI~-Thc fol-
lowing is the last thing written by the
late s.Artcmus Ward :''-"Ontil quite
recent, Eve bin a healthy individual.
I'm nearly sixty, and yit I've got a
muscle into my arms which don't make
my fists resemble the tread of 4 canary
bird when they fly out and hit man.
Only few weeks ago | was cNhIbItIn
in East Skowhc9an, in a b'l!In winch
had form'Iy bin ockcpicd by a pugylst-
one of them lcllers which hts from the
shoulder and teaches the manly art Of
self defrn. And he cum and said he
wos goin' in free, in conscience of pre-
yi'SIy ockcpyin' sed b'ldn', with large
Weller dog. sed, TO be sure, sir, but
not with that yeller dog He sed, do
you want to be ground to powder |
scd, yes, | do, if there is powder-g grind
it handy Then he struck me dis
gustln' blow in my left eye, which
caused that conscrn to be at once closed
for repairs; but he didn't hurt me any
more, | went for him. | went for him
energet'cally. Ills parents lived near
by, ard | will simply state that ID MN
utes after I'd gone for him, his mother,
secin' the proslratc form of her son ap-
proacin' the house onto il shutter carrl'd
by four men, run out doors, keerfully
looked him over, and scd, My son,
you've been fooin' round a thrasin' ma.
sheen. You went in ut the end where
they put grain in, come out with the
straw, and then got up in the thingum-
aiis and let the horses tr,d on yor, didn't
you, my son?' You can judge by this
what disagrseable person l am wher
! I'm angry"