Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1871-01-27
PARIS, MAINE, FRIDAY

least loving. are wise enough TO under
stand this need of rest in the mans hard
er life, and accepting the quiet security
rs part of the conditions of marriage, con-
tent with the undcmonslrative love into
which the fever of passion has subsidized
Others fret over il, and make themselves
and their husbands wretched because they
cannot believe in that which is not fDr-
ever paraded before their eyes. Yet
what kind of home is il for the man if ho
has to walk as il on egg shells, every
moment afraid of wounding the suscepti
bilitics of woman who will take nth.
ing on trust, and who has to be continual
" assured that he loves her, before she
will believe that to-day was yesterday? ?
of one thing she may be certain no wife
who understands what is the best kn,l of
marriage demands these continued attcn.
tions, which. voluntary offerings Of the
low r, become enforced tiibuto from tho
husband. She knows that as n wife,
whom it is not necessary to court or to
flatter. she has noblcr place than that
which is expressed by the attentions paid
to mistress. Wifchood, liko all assur.
ed conditions, does not need 10 be but
trcssed up; but Il less certain position
must be supported from tho outside. and
and All insecure sell respect, and unccr.
tain holding, must he pcrpctually
strengthened and rcassurcd. Women
who cannct live happily without being
made love 10, are moro like mis,rcsscs
than wives, and come but badly of in
the great struggles of life. and The cruel
handling of time. Placing all their hap
pncss in things which cannot continue,
they let slp that which lies in their hands
and in their de sire to retain the romantic
position of lovers, lose tlic sweet security
OF wives. Perhaps. if they had higher
aims in lie than those with which they
make shit to satisfy themselves. they
would not let themselves sink to the level
of this folly. and would understand bet
ter than they do now the worth OF rcali
ties, rs contraStcd with appearances
Aud yet wc cannot but pity the poo..
weak, craving souls who long 50 pitilulIy
for the freshness OF the morning ~ con
tinuc far into the day and evening. who
cling 50 tcnaciOI,ly 20 The romance of
youth. They are taken by he glitter Of
thngS-iore making among The rest, and
the man who is shOwisst in his affection,
who can express il with the most color,
and paint it. 81 to speak, with the minutcsl
touches. i, the man whose love seems to
them the most trustworthy and the most
intense. They often make the mistake OF
confounling this show with the substance
of trustingto to pictorial expression rather
than to solid facts. And often they make
the mistake OF cloying their husbands
with personal halt childish carcsScs whirh
are all very we'll in the carly days, but
which become tircsome aS The time goes
on and the gravity of life deepens And
then, when the man either qaictly keeps
them of or more brusqnely rcpcls them
ih-y are hurt and miserable, and think
the whole happiness OF their lives is dead,
and all that makes marriage beautiful At
an end. What is To be done to balance
things evenly in this unequal world of
srx? What. inlccd, j. TO he done at any
time to reconcile strength with weakness
and to give each its due? One thing al
least.is sure. The more thoroughly
women learn the true nature OF men, the
fever mistakes they will make, and the
least unhappiness they will create for
themselves; and the more patient men
are with the hysterical eXcitability, the
restless craving which nature, for some
purpose at 1T present unknown, has made
the special temperament Of women. the
fewer tenmeS incompriseS there will bs
in married homes, and the larger the
chance of married happiness. All ones
theory oil domestic life come down ut las.
to the give and take system. to beaing
and forbcaring, and meeting half way
iliosyncrases which one does not person
ally share.