Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1871-09-14
Revenue.

clerKs, Speclal agents, &C., 10 eacI
district, whose duty it is to set
that "Uncle Sam" is not cheated
out of a single cent of his Just (wt
guess It's JUST deserts, and tha
the combined salaries OF these of
ficers is about equal to the amour
Of revenue they collect. '' '-'
A friend relates the following
r,httle story,'' for the truthfulnes.
of which we will not Youch:
| am what some people igno
rantly call a "drummer.RzIn Other
words, I'm aatraveling clerk fOl
the :'Great North American Too
and Agricultural Implement Man
.dfacturing Company" and, as
matter of course, in my various
peregrinationsove the country,
meet with some strange adven-
lures.
One evening ] drove into the
little village of Smithville, Ten
nessee, and stopped before nice
looking cottage, with the owner
of which | thought | might be able
to strike a trade, as the sarround
ings indicated that a skilled and
enterprising hand had charge of
them. ts tt's' sf-o
| shouted "IIello," and was
answered bytlie proprietor in per.
son. | stated mybusineSs in as
glowing terms as possible, and
wound up by asking him if he
wished anything in nay line. 'l-'-
"Well, no." he replied; 'you
see, I'm Assessor Of Internal Rev
enue for this district, and my du.
ties are such that have no time
for anything else. z
perhaps your neighbor over
there, said !, pointing across the
way, "would buy a few articles >
He? Hes Assistant Assess.
or Of Internal Revenue for this
district, and it requires all his
time to attend to lis duties; Z |
guess he wouldn't buy anything"
"Who lives in the next house
down there p | inquired hope
fully.
"Mr. Smith, Collector of Inter
nal Revenue for this district. He
has no time for farming, and of
course, would buy nothing in that
line" sa.a
Maybe the owner of that fine
mansion on tie hill, yonder," re-
piled | solemnly, would take 4
few Of our farming implements, as
everything around him indicates.
"Oh no!' said he, interrupting
me hes Assistant Collector Of
Internal Revenue for this district,
and if he had all the farming i'm
plementSin the world he wouldn't
have time to use EN-"
"Does anybody else live i'll this
town 2" | asked, despairingly; foI
no other houses were visible.
yes" was the reply. "Mr
Jones lives just beyohd the bill
yonder, bat he is Inspector of
Internal Revenue for this distr ct
and is never at home"
Thunder and lightning" said
I. warmly, "does the Revenue
Department live here 2 Is there a
blacksmith in the place? If there
is, maybe he would like some Of
our tools"
"Mr. Simmons was our black
smith, but he receivedthe appoint
ment of Assistant Inspector of
Internal Revenue for this distrlct
last week, and in consequence OF
which he has closed his shop fol
the present" .
"Is there a man in this village
who is not connected with the in.
ternal revenue of this district?"
/ asked this question as sarcastl
calIy as possible and with q faint
very faint-glimmering of hope
"Well, yes, there's the postmas
ter; but he is expecting to receive
a aeommission as Inspector of Bran
dies and Whiskies for this district
| think it useless to go to him"
"Where is the hotel 2" | asked
disgusted.
1--WE have none-it has beer
changed to bonded warehouse
for this district"
DO you collect enough reVenu'
in this district topay yourselves?'
| asked for information this time
''No, sir, we do not; but 'othe
districts collect more than enough
Their surplus is appropriated t.
ill our deficiency. Thus thing
are equalized. Don't you see IL
philosophy of it a4 What woul'
the Government be without areve
nue. 2" ,aua le
- IInlnft ON,