South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-07-07
The Gospel Of Correct Living.

lam sometimes lost in delight as i read
the confident and generous directions OF
some man who has solved the problem OF
correct living and given his gospel to the
world. How much better for any imagined
Millennium will that be when we conform
all our vile bodies to his body; what
sweet uniformity when we all eat and
drink and sleep and dress and exercise ex-
actly as he has found it best for him. The
process of natural selection has been car
ried quite far enough. Let US be of one
mind and one diet; bran of one bran, flesh
of one flesh. We shall all go to bed at one
hour, and that right early-except the edi-
tors of morning journals, who will have
dispensation to die early. We shall all
rise, like bed of crocuses in the spring,
at very early hour, and all together.
Sickness will not excuse us, for there will
be no excuse for sickness. At the same
moment we shall all be engaged in taking
an air bath, a sponge bath, dry rub; and
then, dressing according to tabular S!
of figures, furnished by the central authorl-
ty, showing the proper weight of each gar
ment according to the temperature lndl-
Gated by the thermometer, we shall all
take a brisk walk of eleven minutes. We
shall all saw wood for half an hour, if we
have no lifting machine, and then sit down
to breakfast, to consist of half a pint of Ill
tered water free from all animal sub
stances) and two quarters of dried apple,
or any other fruit in season, to be eaten
with the utmost cheerfulness, and even
with a little moderate hilarity. A dried
apple without hilarity is to be avoided.
After breakfast, we are to go to our va
rious occupations with q clear mind and
an elastic frame. By ~ o'clock we shall
be quite ready for dinner. This meal is
to be varied every day in the week-dif-
ferent kinds of bran bread, different kinds
of cracked wheat, different kinds of dried
apples, and other sorts of fruit which do
not contain a certain kind of acid which
is hostile to the standard stomach of the
reformer whom we follow, to be eaten
with a great deal of merriment (no matter
who has died or who has gone into bank
ruptcy), to be eaten in large quantities.
In fact, we are to eat all we want at this
king meal, with one restriction. We are
to leave off hungry and hilarous. Our
dinner is not to cost over eight cents, ex-
cept when you dine with friend, and he
paws the bill. After dinner you may take
a siesta of twenty minutes and nap in your
chair; but do not lie down and sleep with
your mouth open in fy-time, for animal
food is absolutely prohibited. These
directions may seem unimportant;
but nothing is trivial to an immor-
tai man, as you will feel when you go to
your business with a springing step, a
sparkling eye, glowing cheeks, fire in
every limb, exultant blood in every mus
Gle, and the consciousness that you have
no butchers bill, grocer's bill, or milk
mans; that you owe no man dollar, and
can keep all the commandments just as
easy as you can wink As you walk along
the street, you occasionally jump into the
air four or five feet, or leap over the
boundary fence and back, and laugh aloud.
At supper it is best for you to eat moth
ing, except your own cheerfulness. But,
if nature will have something, try little
brown bread, raised without yeast, slowly
masticating it, thinking about butter, and
being careful to call up no image OF ex-
cessive laughter, for this is the time to
begin to tranquilize the mind and prepare
for self-satisfed slumber.
OF course it must be understood that all
you eat must be carefully weighed. This
, not only guards against excess, but 1t in
duces a careful and methodical habit OF
mind. When you go out to dinner, you
will carry your own scales with you and
weigh your own food at the table. 1t is
important to notice that beans, uncon-
taminated by pork, may be eaten on Sun
days and the 4th of July.-C. ID. RdTne1
in Independent.