Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-10-05
A Scene In an Editors Sanctum.

THE Philadelphia Dispatch perpctrates
the following:
A week or two ago one of our reporters
had occasion to refer to certain woman,
whom we will call Hannah smith, as a
denizan of the Eleventh Ward. A day or
two afterward huge man entered the
Office with his brow clothed with thunder.
In his hand he carried fearful club, and
at his side trott, bull dog VIII m hunger
evidently had made desperate. With that
quick appreciation Of the situation which
is creditable to the superior intelligence of
educated men, the editor Of this paper and
the proprietors darted to the window,
climbed outside, slid down the lightning
rod, and went across the street to watch
the bloody fray through spy -glass.
With the fearlessness of conscious limo
cence. we sat still, merely inserting our
legs in two sections of stove pipe, to guard
against misappr hension OF facts on the
part of the bull dog The man with the
club approached.
"Are you the editor?" he asked, spit.
ting on his hand and grasping his clun.
We told him that the editor was out; that
ne had gone to the North Pole with Cap
tain Hall, and that he would not return
before 1876, in time for the centennial
celebration.
"Are you the proprietors" asked the
man.
We explained to him that we were not,
that the proprietors were also out; that
trey had gone to South America for the
purpose of invest eating the curative
properties of cundurangO, and they ex-
pected to remain there tor several years.
"Well, whoever you are exclaimed the
warrior, "my name is SMITH
We told him we were glad because, II
there was one thing better than the pos
session of the name of Smith, it was the
privilege of knowing man Of that name.
"But, Smith," we said, "Why this battle
arrsys 1t is absurd for man TO put on
the panoply OF war, and frisk into edi-
tors sanctums fumbling a clumb and &C
companied by disheartening bull dog,
simply because his name happens to be
Smith"
He said he called in to burst the head
of the man who had insulted his sister.
"It is impossible, Smith, that such a
thing could nave been done by any one
in this Office"
els, but it was, though; and her name
was published, too. Miss Smlth-Miss
Ii inner Smith"
"May we be permitted to inquire, Mr.
Smith, what was the precise character of
the affront offered to HannahY"
"Well, you see," said Smith, the black
guard said she was denizen. And i
want you to understand, exclaimed Smith,
becoming excited, and brandishng his
club in a wild manner over our head,
while the pull dog advanced and COM
menced to sniff up and down our stove
pipe; want you to understand that she
is decent young woman, with good
character, and none of your denizens and
such truck. The man who says she Is a
denizen is blackguard and thief,
and I'll smash him over the nose
if get a chance. They may
say what they please about me. but the
man who abuses my sister has got to suf
ter" And Smith struck the table in a
violent manner with his club, while the
bull dog put his forelocks on the back OF
our chair.
We pacified Smith with dictionary
We pointed out to that raging warrior
that the Websterian definition Of the word
"denizen" gives such person an unof-
Tending character, and deprives the term
Of everything like reproach. Smith SAID
he was satisfied, and he shook hands and
kicked the bull dog down stairs. The
editor and proprietors, seeing that all was
safe, Immediately climbed the lightnin 6
rod, and soon appeared at the window,
where they were introduced to Smith,
with the remark that they had returned
from the North Pole and the cline OF the
cundurango, somewhat unexpectedly, In
order to surprise their relations.
And now we suppose Smith will be
mad because we have told this story about
him, and he will be coming down to inter
view us again in wars magnificent stern
array with fresh bull dog. We have
rented an Office in the top Of the shot.
tower, and have planted torpedoes and
spring guns all he way. up stairs. We
warn this incerdia,y Smith to beware.