The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-08-19
HiSrgliaup.
WHAT'S IN A NAME?


the mos, equable disposition that the world evel
saw, and make n man weep the recollection oi
his godfather?
He did not believe that ru>e by any other
name would smell sweet; and he thought very
hardly of fate. destiny OF whatever it WAS that
tabled him so hideously.
Jehlsl had more than once contemplated the
execution of some daring and strOciOus deed
that, in the doubtful event Of his not being
hanged, would entitle hi", To an aliss for AL
time to come.
But better angel in the shape of Mrs. Bitter.
shrub had put all such sauyuinsry and bitter
thoughts to flight.
"Now, don't be fool. J. h ;" she was wont to
say, with very lively color. ut she breakfast Ia
ble as her Spouse secuted 1T The obnoxious ad.
dress of his thin and susplci"u- i-''crs. IF l.
Matilda Woodwork, could ~ nd np aud BIZ
married to Bittershrub. Im SUR ,"u d"n't care
for the whole world besides"
''Ive half q notion u write to that old, mean
FortesQue to keep lis contemplate bills to him.
SELF, that you shau't psy any taller oil! TIL you
think it convenient; and then [ sh ant open his
answer, either"
A tailor, in Little George street, with smch All
aristocratic appellaton FOrtesqus daring to
send duns twice week, with mOckiny irony
in the formation Of every letter In the horrible
name OF his debtor.
Sitting high and dry on office stool, before
an ocean OF freshly sent unsettled accounts, one
day in early June--in fact tho very day which
had fetched the last offensive .pisre from the
patrioian tailor-Mr Bittershrub fancled that he
could smell news III the varied assortment of let
ters on his desk (his nurse, Betty Simpson, had
remarked often when J. B. wan an infant, that
he was prophet, and knew her from anybody
else just easy POSSIBILITY with that acute and
brilliant perception which characterized his ma.
ture, Mr.. Bittershrub arrived at the identical
ssh hal srr,o oil Gal
toned wafer, that contained the whole matter.
1t began in this wise, in very cramped but
plain hand, under date only week old:
Our DEAR NEPHEW: Feeling that we have
not, in the course OF nature, many years to live,
and may perhaps never again realize an oppor.
tunity to visit you and your wife, we write &C.
eOrdingly by early post, to know whether Or
no we should be welcome at your house a few
weeks duridg the summer If 80, please write to
that effect at once. Our respects to MA'ilda-
though we suspect she is giddy, thoughtless
young thing, and not fit for y poor mans wife
and accept a liberal share of affection for your
self. From your aunts,
CIARIssA AND ELMIRA BITTERsHRUB
"Whew!" was the ejaculation, this unex pected
epistle evoked in prolonged whistle from the
graceless nephew of tho aforesaid Clarissa aud
Eimira Bittershrub, as with look of suspicion
and amazement he sprang down from his elevat.
ed position on the cane.bottoned stool, and jerk.
ing his hat from peg left the Office in the care
of his chore boy, and prepared for good run
heme-it was at least mile from the enterpris-
ing town Of Hopeville-through dense forest
to his modest red brick home, with dove.cOlored
blinds and hrass knocker, but the surprised
and partly indignant Jehial made very good time
indeed.
Heres 80, Tilly,' said Mr.. Bittershrub,
bursting in noisily on that lady, who sat rocking
to and fro very complacently by shady west
window, engaged III knitting an anti.macassar Of
an elaborate pattern of white and red cotton, for
her husbands favorite easy chair.
Mrs. j. g. was very cool little weman-not
. bit hustery. and so she dropped the anti.ma-
CAESAR in her lap, but continued to rock gently,
while deyouring tue brief, but to the point, let.
ter which had caused such revolution in the
Darkroom Of the tallow and hide establishment
where j. B. spent The better part of his life.
"A pretty kettle of fish, indeed" snor,ed Mr..
Bittershrub, tangling his feet in the tidy cotton
II should like to know who the deuce they are
acoup!c ri old-fashioned bedies, dare say, who
will insist on having everything their own wsv,
to say nothing of the Maltese cats and swearins
parrots, we may expect, and no end of reticules
and band-boxes' Matilda" "Well,
I'm sure, Jehial, tha.-that IL have been
good wife to you, dear--whatever they may say.
Haven't / 7"
Down went the half.iinished anti.macasser, and
up went Jehial's large, awkward hands to
smoothe the gloasy, brown head, bent low in
trouble and atfliction.
"rhe mean old wretches shall 20 right off,
lilly, and tell them we haven't hole or granny
to put them in. ! couldn't bear them, I know,
especially after speaking so OF my wife. whom
they never saw. How should they know what
sort of wife you had made me |"
lilly smiled again directly. "You are too rash,
Jehial, about everything. l suppose your auuts
feel naturally an interest in your welfare, and
formed good or trusty alliance. am glad they
care enough about you to say even what thy
have, and l daresay they are old and childish
somewhat, and perhaps would like me very we'll
after few days acquaintance. No, you shall
not write them any such thing A. there being no
room--with three nice bed rooms going to moths
and spiders upstairs. Wait until tea-time, and
we will see what we can do"
The result of the tea.times counsel Was very
afectionately .wrtten invitation to the two old
ladies to visit the young people at Hopeville, and
remain as long as they choose, signed by both
names, Jehial and Matilda Bittershrub
As the earth does not stand still, neither did
the old yellow coach long at time, that used to
travel twice week from Boston to Hopeville,
and which did eventually, one rainy day in July,
stop at the door OF Jarrett & Squelcher, hide and
tallow factors, and deposit two queer little old
ladies' III black satin dresses muslin turbans, and
the awful array OF predicted trumpery and cap
boxes, but no cats or parrots to their nephews
supreme delight,
The two grave, whtehaired little ladies greet.
ed Jehials wife courteously, though little cold.
ly. Early III the afternoon they were lett solely
to the awkward nephews care, with hints for
IN "a i'm. all 49,.