Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-03-26
THE "sKEETING RINK. ''
What MOZis Addums Thinks of
''the Wild GOOce Moshun''-His
Experience on ssSkeets.''

Weird muveS. Things is not ylstiddy
what things wus tomorrer. The Wild
GoOce moshun is very pretty mosnun,
and we are goinge Nv it. Change IL
writ on everything, ceppt in the pokkits
Nv Suthern peple. Ar! weller day. The
sweets Mellerday, etsetry.
When were knee high to hoppegrass,
l thot skeeting wuz slidin on friz mud
puddil, and when were bout 10 years
old and my Pa had bought me new To-
crown black silk hat, went to spend my
Xmas at Mr.. Hobbs that lived near For
est deep o in Bsdfud Me and Mutton and
Jon Gordin went together, and they was
bigger'n me, and we all had to walk 10
mile, and it showed till the snow got up
to my pc little knees. Mutton and Jon
had longer legs than me, anG / put my
hankcber on my new hat and it got wet
eny way, and wuZ so tired and the snow
wuz 80 deep ana could'n keep up, and
they would'n wait for me, and l cried
and ] cried. members it TO this day.
1t were mean in them boys to do pc little
me In that ar way.
But we got thar at last, and nice
house it were, l tell you. Mr.. jefferson
he bilt it. And Mr. Hobbs and all ov UNI
treated US so nice. We injoyed ourself
powerful, for boys of our aige-plsyed
''chicksmy, chickamy, crany crow" and
all that. 1t war good honiss ole
Xmas freezin wether. The day before
we all left for Lynchburg thar come
skift of snow that made our skeetin pond
slicker'r ever. Thar war leVil ground TO
al
and me jest slid-skeetin, we called it
like we never would stop. Dinner time
come, Mutton, he says,
'tMozis, less CO."
'Jest..one mo skeet, Mutton" l says.
'Better nOt-cum along.
felt / wuz going to be bert, but some
thin in me wouldn't let me stop, and as
it was goin' to be my last, determined
to take buster. run as hard as | Gould,
skit as hard as could, my foot struck
bump and doun cum right on my brow
"a tremendous fall for a boy Nv my
aige.
wuz so certin that my ball were
knocked out that actilly felt bout on the
ice for it, but not jfndIn' it, got up bel
levin wuss'n did the day 1 walkt thro'
the snow, and Nuto1 he hilt me up,
blind as q bat, and karried me to the
house. soon got well.
They put peece Nv kourt plaster on
my brow and / wore it far nigh three
months-a boy at Mr.. VIM. Reeds skule
tellin me that if took it off till it rOttid
off my branes would come out. But they
wuz tiff brsnes and don't think they
,,rO,,ll Inr,a Epr-hnwr ruhaT1 OF Loot
did get that kourt plaster off l said in
my heart that wouldn't skeet no mo.
But, bless you! We live in a world Nv
change. l got older and skeeted much,
on irun skeets. But my legs that wuz
unanimus as the Simeez twins got diffrant
minds and divorsed therselt one from an
other very wide and painful, and my kote
tails fell vilently in luv with the hardest
hartid ice they could find, and l had to
bore holes in my heels with gimlit, and
the straps bert my instep and my toes
freezed, and broke into ar holes, and a
perception Nv general wetness and bad
feeling come over me, and l swo
wouldn't skeet on ice no more. And
amt.
But, bless you! We live in a aige of
Progris, and things Progris with amszin
rapidity. Now, sir, you kin skeet with
perfeck cumfut, in nice warm room,
not on ice, but on the floor, and you sleet
not On iron skeets, but on 9OheetS! In
fact, your feet is set on two nice little
drays, only them drays amt got no wsgun
tung, nor no swingle trees, but your feet
is strapt down to um like to ordinary
skeets-snd away you go curtin and
wavin and swsgging from side to side
so qrdsefuL and swift as berd throO the
ar. l consider it the greatest invenchun
of the aige. And what is more to the
pint, you skeet in whOpping big bildin,
with ladies holding you by the hand and
pepul sdmirin Nv you and prsisin yore
movements and the luvly figger .uv yOre
boldly, and you thinkin all the time that
yore moshuns is prettieT mOshuns than
eny body elsis mOshuns.
The bildin-thar's one Nv 'em in Rich
mon on St, reglar Noah's ark No.
is called Rink, and in that Rink they
has Kernevels. has bin to two Nv these
Kernevels-which l thOt it wuZ teun Nv
Vennits played on fiddil-but it amt,
and it bangs the tails that is tele Nv the
days Nv ole Nv Fsrey Land and the Gum
Errabbic Nights Entertainment for Man
ann BCest-fOr all Gems Nv the erth lie met
together thar, both Berds and Beests and
the Devils Nv Hell in great variety, aud
Ranger Hangers and Sailer Boys, NIggers,
Lords and Ladies, Dutch, Irish and Poles
not hoop poles nor fishin poles-but
[ oles men, and GeIls Nv meDny kines,
luyly to behold, ali drest up in fOrrin kos
TUNES, and all on skeets, Tushin and 4
like wbirlwind Nv humanity run mad.
Lord knoWsl what are we comm tor
And all with skeets on their feet and
skeer faces on their facesl The roar of
the Rink skeeters is as the roar NV menny
waters, and the effect ON the eyes of yoIe
he'd ia very popping-mighty nigh as bad
as that time fell down on the ice at Mr..
Kobbses.
But it is Extremely intresun-being q
cheap way to study Jogriffy and Theology
combined. l see a man thar with white
hat lopger'n a stage horn. l see a chicken
rooster foot high on skeets. dunno
what did'n see. But the prittiest thing
wuz a little angel girl, bout 3 year old,
with real wings that skeeted roun and
rom by her lone little self in the sweetest
way.
Skeeting rink exercizes is good for all
ages, sizes and sexis-speshly the ladies'
It Develops I'm, and this Age of De-
vellupment. Also Age Nv Progris, &
I'm looking for the day when we'll not
ONLY skeet, but eat, drink, sleep, swim
and be merry on wheels. All things
will be on wheels and Wen all die on
wheels.
Ching a ring ring, ring ring!
The world IL goes roun upon wheels;
Ny grandmotners tung vuz so long
It tript up my grandfather's heels!
&lozIs ADDUMs-
METUODIsT ROOK CONCERN. This i'm