Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-12-09
Weekly Grinity guurnal.
FUNNY SCENES AT THE DISTRIBUTION
OF CLOTHING IN CHICAGO.


was given out. Among the first to appear was
a long and heavily constructed individual whom
Mr.. Sherman informed me was q Long John"
the inventor Of the twelve-inch cigar, and the
great Western farmer on the Horace Greeley
plan. John had lately been reduced to poverty
by following too closely the rules of agriculture
as laid down in " What Know About Farming"
and what little remained the fire destroyed. He
was attred in double eighteen-inch army
blanket, through which he had cut stove-pipe
holes for his arms and which, though OF unusual
size, only covered his person as far down as his
knees, while couple of sections of eight-nch
stove-pipe served as trowsers, and his manly
bosom was covered with a man-head to a Wood
Mann boiler. AS Mr.. Sherman handed the
elongated agriculturst suit of clothes which
were formerly worn by Fred Hepp, of your city,
observed two tears chase each other down his
person and disappear in the cast-iron breeches
below Long John stepped over to the tower OF
the Water Works, which is the only structure
standing that will permit him to assume an erect
position, and shortly after reappeared, with
smile extending across three sections of his
countenance His coat looked like doll jacket
the Cardiff Giant, while his pantaloOns an
swered the purpose of the traditional fig leaf of
Biblical history. Sherman offered to give him
larger suit, but the ex-Mayor of Chicago said
/" No this is enough it is not SO deep as an
oil-well, nor so broad as barn-door, but twill
answer"
At that moment the story teller of the Times
was seen pirouetting down the street, and stand
;pr too 4ha oft he
coryphees in the Black Crook. Noticing that the
chilly winds of October were whstlng too cheer
lily through his gauzy garments, l approached
him and offered my overcoat, but with laugh
of scorn he waltzed away like the Autumn leaves.
was afterwards informed that this unfortunate
editor of the Times had, by some strange faulty,
received as wardrobe an old cast-of suit of Lydia
Thompson's, which, among other articles, had
been forwarded from New York The effect of
this strange attire was most melancholy, ever
since he had appeared wearing the habilments
of the " beautiful blonde " his mind and feet
appeared to wander continually and he imagined
himself an actress
A gentleman then stepped up to the Disbursing
Committee, whom Mr. Sherman greeted warmly
as Mr.. Medill He said he did not want much OF
anything in the line of clothing, as he chuck
full of &" Western grit - in fact, he had enough
about him to go al once into the grndstone bust
ness, but out of respect to his opponent of the
Times, he " had concluded to put on pair of
pants, though if there were any more destitute
than himself he would limit his entire wardrobe
to a stoye-pipe hat with red feather in it," He
walked lesurely down the street, holding
headless four-barrel around his person for an
overcoat and re-appeared half an hour later in a
pair of baggy-trowsers, hitched up with piece
of tow string. One leg of his neither garments
gave him much trouble, as it kept hitching up
nearly to his knee, and after futterng there
moment would fall back to his foot only to jump
up again few minutes later. In vain did he
seek to ascertain the cause of this unruliness on
the part of the punt leg, until Mr.. Sherman dis
covered the monogram II. G. worked in green
worsted on the seat. This explained it. The
clothes had formerly belonged to the philosopher
of the other Tribuue, and the nervous condition
of the off hind leg was only the force of the
" habit" which had always been accustomed to
find bootleg on which to rest and would not
be comforted without The gritty editor pulled
one boot upon the limb, the punt leg few up into
its accustomed place, and all was lovely.
Potter Palmer was then observed hurryiug
down a back alley, neatly but fashiIy attired
in couple of "gunny sacks " for unmention-
tionables, while bass drum over his shoulders
lily concealed the beating of his heart, and with
an empty mackerel kit covering his head
Briny tears dripped from his eyes at every
step, but he said it owing to the mackerel
juice and though heavy rain had been falling
all night, he said he had not been so " dry "
for years. After drinking bucket Of soup to
allay his thirst, be stepped up to the Titusville
tox and asked for few articles of clothing.
pants that had originally been intended for I'm
Gle Billy Gray, but not being wide enough amid
ships, and not deep enough in the hold, he had
purchased another pair and sent these on to Chi
cago. AS no ladies were in sight upon the street
Potter quickly diyested himself of his g gunny
sacks " and jumped into the breeches which Mr..
Sherman and Abbot held open to receive him,
and disappeared in their cayernous depths. He
soon came to the surface, however, and asked
for his hat, but the committee said they were
under instructions from Secretary Fish to only
give each man enough to cover himself, and as
the pantaloons had filled these instructions that
was all he couf have The millionaire sug-
gested that sOmS other fre-stricken individual
be chucked intosne of the legs while he filed
the other but one would accept the legacy.
The matter was finally adjusted by his pulling
the waist up over his head and tying it there
like bag, and cutting openings for his mouth,
nose and eyes.
The great grain dealers who were burnt out,
managed to save enOnph Of their wheat 10 COW