The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1871-11-09
FAGETIE.

Fourishing business = Ornamental PEN
lnaanship.
hat loses its favor when we borrow it p
wit
Key to the State prison aid ala,shouse-
|1Yhiskey.
The cue which all drowning men wants
Rescue.
How to accumulate real estate-Never wash
yourself.
Relatives that ought to make good pedes-
| trisns-Step-sons.
A section well known to the medical fra
tHnity Dissection.
The most steaafasty followers Of our for
Mnes-0ur creditors.
The citysto Whsshr cur aaarlss birds are rs<
moved-The City Of Worms.
Conversatfon-The game in which all man
kind are competitors.
The worst kind of feducation-Tob be brought
up by a policeman.
10 what sect or fraternity does the fop be-
long? 10 the insect fraternity.
The way to ride elocipede-straddle the
saddle, then paddle and skedaddle.
Why is the horse the most humane of ami
mails? He gives the bit out of his mouth, and
listens to every woe.
When may funds be supposed to be un-
steady-when money Is tight.
When trade never turns to the left? A
wheel-arright.
If you are not the head or tail of donkey,
what are you? No end of a donkey.
He who marries for wealth sells his liberty.
He that will steal pin will steal a better
thing.
He who deals with blockhead has need of
much brains.
sI'll drop in as pass" as the rain said to
the open sky-light
Why is clock the most selfdepreciating
piece Of furniture? Because it runs down its
own works.
What is that from which if you take the
whole, some will reman. The word whole
some.
Why is man who hates writing like one
he is a pen-shunner.
IF your sister fell into well, why couldn't
you rescue her? Because you can't be a
brother and assist her too.
A scandalized old lady says: s'Thank
heaven, half the lies that are told me are not
true.''
A correspondent suggests that 'mum" is
used as title for ladies' on account OF their
well-known love of silence.
Why was Mohammed like man in church
with bad cold? Because his coughing
acoffin) had to be suspended.
One of the latest publications says that
farming requires brains. 1t is thus manifest
that some people should not be farmers.
A medical student says he has never been
able to discover the bone of contention. and
desires to know whether it is not situated
very near the jaw-bone.
Tile New York correspondent of the Roch-
ester Democrat writes as follows of the New
York Tribune:
Harrison's funeral day was the birthday
Of the Tribune. That day, as | opened T..
D. Morgan's wholesale store on Front street.
where had a clerkship. I saw that a small
sheet with the above title had been thrust i'll,
On examining its proposals learned that it
would be issued daily, at nine cents per
week, and that the editor was Horace Gree
ley. well known as the log cabin man. Be-
fore an hour had passed the little folio was
forgotten, nor did it get patron in that con-
Germ until long time afterward, for it had
no commercial value. But the solemn dirge
that marked the funeral pomp was the well
come Of the newborn journal that seemed
inspired with vitality, endurance, and the
highest moral enthusiasm. Born amid this
scene of sorrow, the Tribune has always
been imbued with sympathy for the maases,
and has won an enviable name as the friend
of humanity. Of the entire force which was
enlisted in this great work OF building up
the journal, Greeley is the only one left.
During the thirty years which has interyen-
ed he has labored (how intensely no one but
he can know i'll the place where he com
meneed. The Tribune is the only paper in
the city which has not changed its locality,
and it was the first to make that spot cen
tire for Journalism. ..
Who marries for love takes wife; who
marries for fortune takes mistress; who
marries for~position takes a lady. Yen are
loved by your wife. regarded by your mis-
tress, tolerated by your lady. You have q
wife for yourself, mistress for your house
and friends, lady for the world and society.
Your wife viii agree with you. your mistress
will rule you, your lady will manage you.
Your wife viii take care of your household,
your mistress of your house, your lady OF ap-
pearances. If you are sick your wife will
nrrSo vou yynrr ictracc will visit VDtJ VOIIr