Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-03-08

CaARLoTTEsNITH, Of RockpOrt, Mass,
describes her runaway husband in an
advertisement as a little man, badly
crippled in one leg, one leg shorter than
the other, false teeth and bald head
The Prince Of Wales is stated to be
mending his ways on account Of the
strong Republican tendencies Of the
British mind. The greater the freedom
Of the community the less freedom there
is in his morals.
Two well known Confederate chief
tains have lately died Gen. Magruder
and Cen Elzey. The lstteE was in
charge 'uf Richmond at the time Of its
evacuation and for some time previous.
He was badly wounded at the battle Of
Gaines Mill, which rendered him an
invalid for some months.
AsoTfIBB faithful wife has been dis
covered ID Indiana. Her husband J. T.
Bridges, was several years ago sent to
prison on a life sentence for murder
Lately he received a pardon, and al-
though his crime divorced his wife, she
met him at the prisOn-dOor, and re-msr-
ried him that same day.
.THERE ate three things, said wit,
which have loved without under
standing them: painting, music and
women. 4E
MOTLEY ssys that Grant is dumb as
an oyster What have the oysters done
that they should be assailed in that
way?
A VETERAN shopkeeper says that al
though his clerks are vesy taIkative dur
ing the day, they are always ready to
shut up at night.
THE Statesman states that leading
army officers state that there exlsts SER
ious difeFence in Washington between
General Sherman and the President,
owing to afairs connected with the
army, the latter claiming 81 the pow
ers Of Commander-in-Chief, leaving to
Sherman only control Of minor matters
or carrying out In detail bis orders The
feeling IN the army is with Gen. Sher-
man, the distinguished favoritism shown
BY. the President causing g deep feeling
Of dissatisfaction among she line and
field oflicers. rE,EI
A TfsAvELIsG piano player undertook
to whip an Illinois editor, and when he
0tthrguge be bad oaly @e esF for
music.
AN Illinois editor, in advertising his
Office for sale, announces that he Is go
ing to peddle shoe strings.
A LADY's dressmsker horrified her the
other day by telling hershe would 'cut
her BODY OUT n the course Of the af-
ternoon.
ToSr-I say, Jack what a beautiful
oomplexion Miss Smith has. Do you
know her? Jack-rNo, but know a
girl who buys her complexion at the
same stOres
AN UNFiSIsIIED EeG.-A little boy
having been sent by his grandmother
to the chicken-cOop for some eggs, soon
returned with one in his hand, saying,
I gsrahdhia, here is one egg. There is in
the coop snQthers but it sin'tfnished.
It's got soft shell on 1t, and know
the hen wasn't through with it yet.
! A GExTLEMAN from one Of the rural
ldistricts, in answer to hequestion what
he was doing in indianapolis, said he
/ had two brothers, one was in jail and
the other was in the Legislature, and he
had come to the city to raise money
enough TOT get them out Of their sorry
Ipredieament.
You have lost your baby hear, said
one gentleman to another. Yes, poor
little thing! It was only hve months
old. We did all we could for it. We
had four doctors, bIistered its head and
feet, put mustard poultices all over it,
gave it nine csIomel powders, leeehed
its temples, hSi it bled, gave it all kind
Of medicines, and yet, after q weeks
illness, it died. E,
THE other day the front door of the
New York Tribune Office had to be
closed for some purpose. So Mr.. Gree
ley wrote on a piece Of paper, entrance
on Spruce street, and sent it down to the
man who does the painting of the bull
tlentins to be copied. The man studied
over Greeley's tracks all the forenoon
and finally in despair wrote, Editors on
spree" and posted it up.
JAMES PARTON classifies his audiences
as follows: The 'stfll-attentives,' the
quick-responsives,' the 'hard-to-lifts,
, the 'wOn't-applauds,' and the 'get-up-
and-go-outs.'
CoURTING is an irregular active trans
tive verb, indicative mood, present
ter :, third person, single number, and
agl with-it agrees with all the young
girls in town.
A CORRESPONDENT Of zion's Advo-
cate expresses the opinion that the in.
Vulnerable water course and lakes oi
Maine, indicate that God designed that
State for the Baptists!
THE testimony Of daughter of the
parties to a recent Indiana divorce suit
seems conclusive: Father got mad be.
cause mother starched his stockings
Mother picked up the stockings and hit
father on the head with them, and il
sounded as though they were sticks o.
wood. Father then stuffed 8 hot wheat
cake down mothers throat, and ther
mother set the dog on father, and twist
ed the dogs tail to make him bite hard
err
WE have heard the question asked
wherther virchu, fortichude, gratichudC
or quiechude dwell with that man who
| is a stranger to rectichude?' Can any
one give US an answer.
THE following is the conclusion of an
epitaph on a tombstone in east Tennes
see: PShs lived a life OF virture and
died Of the cholera morbus, caused by
( eating green fruit in fun hope Of a bless
ed immortality, at the early age of 2
years, 7months and Is days. Reader
go thou ard do likewise
TIE Philadelphia Age says Genera
aTah7a fs sp0zen of in Washington az