The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-29
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

II.
man "Hop-man.'
Did You ever
The Toulou Cilsf says chat the reason Mile
Nilsson bought property in Peoria, was because
she saw Dowdsll and fell IN love with him, and
she wants II be near him
IL has been reported TO u tAa: Dow9all il now
studying the Swedish | nguage, and is dieting
himself On nine-eyed tish.-Uta Free Trader
It's all mistake. Dowdail is wooing Miss
Capitol. Springfield, with fair prospect Of sue
cess, and proposes TO Guild a beautiful mansion
for ther future residence, upon Pu.-;tcr~ bluff,
in Peoria Statesman.
The above is a cigitH pun, we suppose.
An exchange in New Jersey gives TIN, item
a servant girl read story in the p ,per, which
told how the hunters OF Siberia, when they are
hungry and have no food, lie down, place board
over their stomach and get thelr cuihptulons to
sit upon it, If We are to believe the narrative,
the Siberian hunter immediately rises like u
giant refreshed with wine, feeling just good
as if he had eaten hearty Christmas dinner and
discounted supper or two. Now this domestic,
upon turning the matter over within the dark
recesses Of her intellect could not perceive why
the principle wonid pot apply to AL American
babe as to a wild rover in Siberia So when
next the offspring of her emplyer cried with
hunger this woman instead OF giving IL susten-
ance Immediately from glass bottle with gum
thing on the nozzle, went and got the pie-boa-d,
spread 1t over that unsuspectlng child and sat Ga
it for quarter OF An hour. Like King Henry,
lit never smiled a. ain" and the hired girl told
the man who had charge of the Jail that there
certainly must be something wrong about that
Siberian hunter system, or else the newspaper
did not explain it properly.
Miss s., of this city, is six feet and one inch
tall How is that for high ?-BOjDiNe Herald.
She is undoubtedly the giants" of whom we
hear so often.-Knnhakee Gazette.
A short fellow like us would have to climb
step ladder or a tree to kiss her, and that would
be SO unhandy.
According to the Morris Herald, the merchants
up there are very unkind. Instead of putting
cushions the dry goods boxes IN front of thier
stores, for loafers to sit on, they drive in sharp
nails instead, then these loafers sit on 'em aud
get their trousers torn, and then they "cuss."
Printers proverbial for errors, but the fol.
lowing cannot be justified, unless the girls ose
was the prcttiest part of her face:
A Local poe: indited sonnet to his mistress,
entitled Il kissed her Sub r0sa" The compost.
tor thought he knew better than that, aud set it
up in printers Latin, Il kissed her snub nosa"
The Boston 7yacele, says John G. Whittier,
though he writes great deal OF poetry, never
puts three line. together without bringing on AN
attack o! neuralgia. Ii the Ir00eler's story is
true, 1T shows that he takes more pains with his
poetry than amy other poet.
A careful economist was the man mentioned
below:
A nice, pious old man ia Massachusetts,,
thought that his oxen laid out strength brush.
ing away the flies, that might oe used hauling
the corn plough, 50 he lied bricks to their tails.
The plan worked well until one Of the bricks
struck tue old maA on the head, when he was
carried TO the house on door.
Here Is warning to people who neglect to
put clothes on their "cupids:"
Holmes gives the folio wing splendid type Of
innocence: "One of gy friends had d little
marble statue.te OF Cupid In The parlor OF his
country hUuse--bow arrow, wings, and all com.
plete visitor, Indigenous to tho region look.
Ing pensivey at the figure, asked the lady of the
house, III that was statoO OF her deceased in
fant!'
Kansas City editor, who employs Chinese
iaundryman, Is in panic. Hear him: "They
sent home with our washing the other day a
thing that branches off in two ways q little be.
low the top, like railway junction, and has
puckered irills edged with letting on each end
Of the divide. We don't know what it is, and
were u poor, triendess man, with only our vir.
tue, and none but Williams would seek to iniur,
that"
Virginia editor in noticing the statement
that tight lacing the country 50 900 900
annually in the board alone says it is a villain.
Gus and habitual lie lie knows Il girl who
laces so tight that bis arm will 20 around her
twice and lap clear to the elbow, and one
Ia ktlr,l- l,t,l-p lnrA ln, a.