The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-05-09
Marriage under Difficulty.

IA IN Iowa, used to tell a story OF
wedding that he witnessed, where the
ceremony was performed on the same
couple three times in one night. He was
wandering through northern Iowa, and
southern Minnesota, on a search for tim
Der lands, and was accompanied by a
back-woods adventurer named Preston.
Near the line between Iowa and Min
nesota, they stopped few weeks at the
house of settler named jenkins The
latter had buxom daughter, and was
well off for backwoodsman, and the sit
uation appeared decidedly favorable to
Preston. SO he courted the daughter,
and was polite to the parents; the result
was that wedding was arranged and all
the neigbors for ten miles around were
invited.
Jenkins was liberal provder, and
weddings were not frequent in his fam
lily. He laid in half barrel of whiskey,
and his wife and daughter cooked enough
for small army, so that nobody should
go away hungry. There was preacher
in the neighborhood, who had arrived
there recently, and he was invited to
unite the pair He tied the knot, and
was rewarded by Preston, who made a
mess of the affair by dropping couple
of silver dollars into the punch bowl while
| trying to hand them to the parson. The
brides arm was called into requsition to
lift out the cash, which she did with all
the skill OF native of long Island fishing
for "Blue Points" with pair of oyster
tongs.
For the invited guests, the serious
business Of the evening began with the
supper that followed the wedding cere-
mony. Preston took his full share of
punch and straight whiskey before re-
tiring to the bridal chamber which was
reached by ladder through the floor of
the garret. Mrs. Preston had been taken
there by the bridesmaids half an hour
earlier, and when the couple had disap-
peared there was fresh assault upon the
whiskey.
1t leaked out in the course Of the
evening that the parson was not an Or
dained preacher, but only one of those
ministerial fedgings who have been IL
consed to exhort." When old jenkins
heard the rumor he went for the
exhorter and extracted from him the hor-
rible fact that he was not really authorized
to unite couples in holy matrimony, but he
had officiated on this occasion because he
thought it was all right, and nobody
would know the difference. Jenkins flew
around like boy with humble bee in
his coat sleeve he kicked the unhappy
exhorter out of doors, and went up the
ladder like monkey climbing window
blind
Here you, git up, GIT up! he shout
ed; "you amt married ut all. Git up
this minute. Get up and come down,
quick"
The voice of Preston was heard to
drawl out that he wouldn't get up, and
that if his respected father-in-law did not
clear out and mind his business he would
get his nose busted.
jenkins explalaied the situation, and
the couple arose. In few minutes they
came down the ladder, looking very sheep
ish, and the bride blushing like red
wagon. There was justice of the peace
in the party, and he performed the cere-
mony, which, unfortunately for Preston,
took his only remaining silver dollar.
There were more drinks, and then the
couple again ascended the ladder to their
bridal apartments Preston muttered,
as he climbed the ladder, that if he ever
found that parson he would hurt his face
so that his friends could not identify him
without magnifying glass.
Ofcourse the party down stairs, who
were making a night of it, talked over
the peculiarities of the wedding. and
their talk developed the fact that, the
justice of the peace lived in Iowa, while
the house Of jenkins was in Minnesota.
jenkins was informed of the situation,
and away he went once more for the lad
der. He was louder in his tones than
before, and his first words met a prompt
answer from Preston.
"Now, look here, old man." said Pres
ton, as he bounded out of bed, "there
has been fooling enough around this yere
ladder tonight, and if you don't git III
bust yer head"
He picked up cow-hide boot, as he
spoke, and advanced menacingly. A
shrill voice from the bed, urged him
not to hurt "pa."
"Don't shoot, don't" said jenkins, as
he retreated down the ladder, till his
head was level with the garret floor
There he paused and explained the new
state Of affairs to the enraged bridegroom,
who stood over him with the boot uplift-
, ( ad and raodr for n blo,o