Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-02-17
SCAT.


SCAT.
A Row sn Tsp sfa Rsv--Hov The Far
Flew, and Hsv Tar" II Flew.
The fact that Mr.. Oliver lived in
uniform row of houses in the Four
teenth Ward, says the Philadelphia
Sunday Dispotch, was the reason
why he was unfortunate. One moon
light night last week the noise made
by the cats on his roof was simply
awful. Mr.. Oliver lay in bed, try
ing in vain to get to sleep and grind
ing his teeth in rage, until at last
the uproar overhead became unen-
durable. Mr.. Oliver crept out of
bed softly, so that his wife would
not be awakened. lie put on his
slippers, seized a boot with each
hand, and, clad in the snowy robes
Of night, he opened the trap-door
and emerged upon the roof. There
were thirty or forty cats ont there
holding kind of general synod
in the cool Of the evening, enjoying
the bracing air and singing glees.
AS Mr.. Oliver approached, the eats
moved over to the next roof. Mr..
Oliver advanced and flung boot at
them. They then adjourned sud
denly to the summit of the adjoining
residence. Mr.. Oliver projected
another boot and went over after
the first one.
In this manner the synod retreat
ed, and Oliver advanced until the
last Of the row of twenty houses was
reached when the cats arranged
themselves in line along the para
pet, rufied up their fur, curved
their spines, and spat fnriously at
Oliver. That bold warrior gather
ed up his boots and determined to
retreat. He walked back over a
dozen houses and descended thro'
a trap-door. He went down stairs
to his bedroom and opened the
door. There was man in the room
in the act of walking up and down
with baby. Before Oliver had re-
covered from his amazcment the
man flung the baby on the bed, and ,
seizing a revolver, began firing rap
idly at Oliver. 1t then dawned up
on Oliver that he had come down
the wrong trap-door. He proceed
ed up stairs again suddenly, the
man with the revolver practicing at
him in painful manner. When
Oliver reached the trap he shut it
quickly and stood upon it. The
man fired through the boards twice,
and then hooked the door upon the
inside. A moment after Oliver
heard him springing a watchman's
rattle from the front window. As
soon as the neighbors knew there
was man on the roof they all flew
up stairs and fastened their trap
doors, and Mrs. Oliver fastened
hers, with the firm conviction that
some predatory villain had entered
while she slept and stolen her Oil
yer. When he tried the door it was
fast, and Mrs. Oliver was scream
ing so tiercely that he could not
make himself heard. BY this time
the street was filed with policemen,
all Of whom were blazing away at
Oliver with their revolvers, while
the young men in the houses across
the street, kept up steady fire with
pistols, shot-guns and miscellaneous
missiles. Oliver, with every advan-
tage for forming an opinion, said
that Gettysburg was a mere skir-
mish to it. He hid behind the chin
ney, and lay up against the bricks
to keep himself warm, while the po-
licemen stationed themselves around
to capture him when he would slide
down one Of the water-spouts.
But Oliver did not slide. lie sat
out on that roof all night, with the
bitter air circulating through his
too tritiing garments, listening to
the bowling eats and the occasional
shouts from the picket line below,
and thinking of the old Jews who
used to pray from their housetops,
and wondering if Musselmen were
ever shot at or bothered with cats
and policemen when they practiced
their evening devotions on their
roofs. And then he wondered how
it would do to take off his night
shirt and wave it over the edge as
flag Of truce! He concluded not to,
because OF the danger of a bullet
from some misguided policeman not
familiar with the rules of war.
When daylight came, the neighbors
rallied in crowd, armed with all
kinds of weapons from howitzcrs
down, and mounted to the roof. Oil
yer was taken down and put to bed,
and he now has more influenza for
n man of his size than any other cit
izen of the Fourteenth Ward. He
says he is going to move as soon as
he gets well-he is going to move
into a house that is next door to no.
body, a house that stands in the mid
die of a prairie of some kind, and
he intends to stencil his name in
white on the trap-door.
A Patriotic Jury.