Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-06-01

beating his wife with hoe-as ii man
hadn't right to hoe his own Rowe.
An indianapolis man bought a nice
coffin for his sick wife, when she up and
got well. Now the coffin is on his
hands, and it is too short for his own
| use.
Gone ought every day." says Goethe,
''at least TO hear a little song, read a
good poem, see q fine picture, and If it
be possible, to speak few reasonable
| words
Here is an extract from Cranes new
novel:
1.-The countess fell back in a deadly
| swoon. When she revived her spirit
had fed We suppose it is all right,
tor these novelsts are allowed the wild
est sort of license.
The bleat of the gentle calf in the barn
and the song of the robin on the elm,
the golden cup of the crocus, and the
sweet oder OF "weal outlets" at dinner
time, tell us lovingly that spring is
here.
An Indiana man, whose wife had O.
ioped and carried off the feather bed, is
searching for her whereabouts, vigor-
ously. not that he cares for the woman.
hut ''the feathers were worth a dollar u
pound.
Only one woman attended the first
days races at Memphis. A reporter
SAYS the only failure of the day was that
OF neglecting to provide yawls and skiff,
for distinguished citizens to cross the
track.
An Alexandria correspondent asserts
that northern visitors have cut off all
the buttons on the cushions in Washing
tSn'spew in Christ church, and are now
carrying OF pieces of staff. Are both
modern.
y mother was amused the other day
to hear this bit of argument from her
little boy: Mamma, don't see how Sa-
tan could have turned out to be such a
bad fellow. there wasn'tany devil to put
him up to it"'
Al the dinner OF an Irish Association,
not long since, the following toast was
gwen: Here's 10 the president of the So
cIetv, Patrick ORafierty, an may he
live to eat the chicken that scratches
over his grave.
"What kind of pens do YOU sell here.
mlster:' asked q boy OF a stationer We
Keep all kinds. YOU Young yaGabond,
was the rude reply. "Oh, YOU do, do
YOU; Wen, then, Ill take ten cents
worth of pis-pen.'
y Chattanooga dealer advertises 10
sell Il pair OF pants, | coat, fine white
shirt, pairof shoes, hat, 1 pairs OF
socks, and haadkerchiefs for So, and
give also five presents probably a
watch or diamond ring"
The recent rains have developed the
mosquito crop to great extent. One
mosquito came into Paterson, vester-
day, driving woke Of oxen. and look
,S a. i'oHrlt as d revenue collector
a learned Chicagoan is announcing
the theory that Saturn and Jupiter are
electric magnets and induce currents OF
electricity in the earth, and act with
greater force at intervals OF ten wears
than at any other time.
\ Penns ylvanian who paid $40, co.
ID. on II fine gold watch from one of the
New York swlndliug firms, received a
handsome glass agate, with a note say
ing that the mystery was to find the kew
hole BY which to wind it up.
\ Leavenworth editor, in quest of
special attractions for his paper. say-:
=" hat We want for this column is per
sonaiitleS rs mean as possible. Expense
OF lawsuits to be defrayed bv the writer
-iuhcral expenses by us
Kansas j, a very prolific State in news
papers having in one year produced
lorN new Journals, increasing the mum
Der ~ the State from sixty-two to one
hundred and two. Kansas still adds {.
the number at the rate Of one week
\ Chinese gambling saloon is open in
Baxter street, New York city. The
walls. ceiling and tables are inscribed
with Chinese characters, while reclining
on bundle. of rags and straw, drowsy
'ele,tial> may be seen smoking opium.
Foster, the car-hook tiend, said liz
was 30 drunk the night of the murder
that he didn't KNOW what he did-didu't
see amy young lady or any car-hook-
yet he singularly remembers perfectly
that Mr.. Putnam called him loaicg
and a coward.
y school boy having been required to
write Il composition on some part OF the
human body, cXpounded a. follows:
The ;hroat-A throat is convenient to
have especially to roosters and ministers,
The former eats corn with ii: the latter
breaches through hin and then tie. il
up.
y German friend OF ours got Ion hi,
ear last week, upon the arrival OF his
second pair of twins, and said to hi,
family physician: ''Ov YOU bleese, doc
tor. il ish better dot schtop be boot to
desc ding. One bair ov ounce, dinks.
ish aller riot, but more as dot ish blaid
owit, don'd it? Dots vots de matter
init me. You know how itish lnvself."
\ celebrated geologist, member of the
Academy OF Sciences, was lately travel
ling in the south of France On his
return from a long pedestrian excursion.
he could get nothing at the miserable inn
where he lodged, Git was the best no
tel in the village,) but meagre omelet,
and over-dssed with garlic al that.
Great heavens, madam - said he to the
hostess, "why did you put so much gar
lie in this omelet?' .'Whv sir. the eggs
were so bad'
A Lighthouse-keepre recently an
pointed on the New jersey coast, made
ridiculous bunder. Immediately
after he had taken possession. complaints
We're made that the lights went out bv
twelve O'Clock. The proper officer was
at once sent TO look into the matter, and
he was told that complaints were made
against him. For what? was the in
quiry. Why replied the officer. 'they
sa, that our lights do not burn after
twelve O'Clock at night Well, was the
reply, know thev dent, for put 'em
out myself then, for | thought all the
vessels had got in by that time, and
wanted to save the lie.
The Rockland Free Press says the
several granite quarres at Vinalhaven,
with one at Spruce Head in South Thomas.
ton, have passed under management of a
corporation, to be known as the Bodwell
Granite Company. with its headquarters
In RocklaDd. This company are also
agents for the HalIowell white and the