The Portland daily press., 1871-12-13
Interview with Alexis.

Interview with Alexis.
ELI PERKINS INTERVIEWS THE PRINCE
WHAT ALEXIS THINKS OF AMERICA
BosroN's CROOKED STREETs-HE HATES
COMMITTEES, BUT LIKES PRETTY GIRLS.
lOoliesponuence Of the Commercial Advertiser.l
REVERE HOUSE, Boston, Dec. 8.
am a single man. 1 haven't any pretty
daughters. Nary one. Pm not in the social
business. Pm not like General Mcdowell
and General Meade. My offence is not rank
like Othello's and many other Generals. / do
not follow the tickle Goddess of Fashion-so
to speak. don't run to four-horse drays nor
proscenium boxes.
Far different. seek the bauble Of fame. I
should like to resemble Mr.. Webster, or Mr..
Irving, OF Mr.. Longfellow. Alas! If the
mantle of the late ID. Webster ,could only fall
on my shoulders l fear the marked charac-
teristic of Mr.. Clay and Mr.. Webster and
General Washington is in not resembling any
one now-a-days-scarcely This is why
called in to the Revere House with my neigh
bor-in-law Cyrus Perkins, to pay my respects
to the royal Prince.
Mr.. Catacazy was busy answering friend
ly letter from Mr. Fish. So told the Boston
door-keeper, with dignifed air, to nCesent
my compliments and hand my card to the
Grand Dupe.
The porter stood still and hesitatingly ex-
amined my clothes, from head to foot.
Take it, young man," 1 said blandly,
stake it to your Royal Master"
FIFTY cents, sur"
'Sir?''
''Two shillings."
Take that card in instantly, young man,
or shall not be responsible for your early de-
ceasep l said, with an earnest gesture.
"Halfa-dollar''
1 shook hands with him-with the base
hireling, and then he kindly presented my
card to the Grand Dupe.
"Give us your hand, magnaminous Ameri-
camp exclaimed the Grand Dupe, overcome
with emotion. Then he held my hand, and
asked:
'How is America getting along, Mr.. Per-
kins ?''
st is mixed, your Highness," 1 replied.
Some OF our citizens are too ambitious. For
instance, General Butlef-you know him,
don't you, Alick?"
"Oh yes, he was the General who, assisted
by General Grant, subjugated the Southern
States during you Revolution, wasn't he?
"Yes, he's the ore, but as l was saying,
General Butler wants torun all New England
and Congress too. Mrs. Woodruff wants to
run all the women and part of the men; Brig
ham Young wants to be Saint, Genera,
Member OF Congress, and President of Utah;
MIR. Sumner wants to run the Senate and
State Department. Henry Ward Beecher
wants to run some spiritualism, and all the
theology Mr.. Fish wants to run Sumner, the
Russian Minister, and the State Department
too; Mr.. Tweed wants to run New York
City and the Americas Club; and General
Mcdowell wants to run the army, the navy,
and ysur Royal Highness too"
you are right, Mr. Perkins," replied
Alick earnestly, "and | think, as things
stand, while it would be of no benefit to ST.
IBERIA, still fyou had Siberia, as we have, it
would be"-
'Alas Alick, it would be sweet BOOM"
Exactly, Mr.. Perkins. But your General
Mcdowell reminds me of Napoleon l. His
capture of Manassas was like Napoleon's cap
ture of Moscow, and his mastery advance on
Washington was like Napoleon's advance
from Moscow to Paris-precisely, Mr.. Per-
kins''
"How do you like the American people,
your Highness?" l asked, offering the Grand
Dupe a cigar.
''C'est grande, c'est magnifque," exclain-
ed the Dupe, excitedly. "But you have one
thing-what you d-n call him, one Com
mittee to make me dance always with the old
women. We have no such committees in
Russia. If these five Kopeek what you call
him, one-horse officials could know how we
laugh at all their wives they would stop max
ing speeches, and let me go and talk with the
pretty girls"
"Alickp' 1 broke in, interrupting him,
''say no more. Your head is level You suit
Eli Perkins. You've got good Yankee blood
in you-you have! Yes, Alick, we are great
nation. We've got good soldiers. Our Sew
enthsters are bully boys. Onr theologians
are sound on the goose. General Grant is
sound as kus on the Ku-Klux. Our girls
are the handsomest and the sauciest in the
world, and our horses pass everything (going
the other way) on the road. You have old
ruins in Russia, but we build our houses very
shabby, and we shall soon have ruins-splen-
did ruins-here too. You have the monu-
ment of Alexander H., but you have nothing
precisely like Washington Monument. The
world don't furnish another Congress like
ours. Where else can you find Congress
where one man says thing another denies
lt-where no conclusion is reached, but where
each man does and says just as he pleases,
whether he wants to or not? Where is there
Russian-a Russian statesmen-who pounds
over his boot heels and wears the same white
coat which he used to wear, now and forever
one and inseparable-like Mr.. Greeley?"
''Where is the city in the world which has
been sold within two hundred years for 27
pounds as New York was to Peter Minuet,
aud which has been sold over and over again
since by Mr.. Tweed and Mr.. Sweeny, and still
"Where your Highness, is the Democratic
Legislature in Europe, which has had prize
fighters and ministers sitting in the same hall
of state?
'What nation can boast of being so free as
to make laws against adultery and then per-
NIT men to have sixteen wives, or live to-
gether by the hundred, as they do at the
Oneida Communi y? Blush with shame %
scion of the house of Romanoff, because you
have mot thnSQ things Whara in old
world despotism can man shoot an author
public printing office. and have six news
papers and twelve jurymen sustain him?
Where do you see the glorious career of in
temperance SO beautifully exemplified?
Where"
''Nowhere, Mr.. Perkins-nowhereP inter-
rnpted the Grand Dupe as he fixed his mel
low eyes upon me and wiped silent tear of
regret from his manly cheek.
'But, Alick, must be gone," continued.
''Duty calls and / obey. A. Romanhoff,
adieup' and Cyrus and l went around to see
Buukum Hill Monument and the big organ.
"Come again and spend the day with me,
illustrious and magnanimous' American"
said Alick, as we strobe towards Court street.
l said would.
(which is the way to Faneuil Hall ?'' in
quired Of alittle boy who stood still reading a
Sabbath-school book.
Fright straight ahead, up Court street,
STRIP
We walked on. We kept walking. BY
and by we came to another boy reading
Sabbath-school book.
(Which way to Faneuil Hail. my good
lad ?' we Inquired.
''Why, gosh blast it, told you fifteen min
utes agor
Gracious! We'd been walking right round
and roundP'
n.