The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-08-30

What is that which is full of hole:
and yet holds water?-A sponge
The new building on Main street i;
fast approaching completion.
-iN A complete funeral for twenty-five
dollars" is, advertised in New Y ork.
tits decidedly fshy when "a bride
receives herring at the wedding.
Teeth extracted with great pains,
is the advertisement of a Washington
.oE$ dentist.
= &C a.A ~ -v-
sGh, Emma, don,t laugh so loud,
2 .saidsa younger sister of five years,
- 1ssyoual break a blood steamer.
- rsTzF-75ss-7 q ET sAHr- FF
Mamma, said a little boy who had
been sent to dry q towel before the
fire, SIS it done when its brown?
- The proposed flag of the new Ger
man Empire is black, white, red and
gold.
prolific couple in iowa exhibit Is
children as the fruits of ten years of
matrimony.
ms 1.-THE prisoner has "a very smooth
countenahce." eyes, he was ironed
Just before he was brought in."
~ DO you know who / ana said a
zp~olice1ofieer to a fellow whom he
. had seized by the throat Not ex-
Iactly, sir, but l reckon you are the
malignant collarer.'
ere the jury agreed?' asked the
~ Judge Of a rocrt attache, whom he met
So on the stairs with a bucket IN hand
@tYes, rep,ied Patrick, they have
agreed to send out for half a gallon
7'''ias7 "a couple of Belgian giants said a
Yankee contemporary, ARE now IN
the city for the purpose OF exhibition
they arc 50 long that it takes two
-. days to exhibit them.'as
A railroad conductor being asked
.enlwhy they locked the stove. replied
that it was to -pre-ent the fire from
going out He would he a first-class
man for a New York murder jury.
45'hi A boy bawling in the street was
f'' asked the cause of his trouble. and
replied: Il want my mamma that's
what's the matter: l told the darned
90 thing she'd lose me-" -"t
A typo made us last night use the
az expression, 'bGttered thunder That
-i'ifiis 4 sort of thunder of which, up to
- last hight we had not heard. The
word should have been .niuttered =
London Advertiser
There are now upwards of thirty
thousand postoffices in active opera
acknowledgement, the United States.
the exact number being 3o,O4o. This
is an increase In the last sdecade OF
nearly two thousand, mostly ali credi-
ted to the Western States. {. 81
fz- We call attention of our readers to
1.-THE advertisement # Louis Leon III
-a another eolnnn. lie sells good cheap;
70 deals honestly with his customers, and
advertises freely Give him a call
and our word for it, you will get bar
gains. I-I &c
-'FaT7fThe War Department has ordered
two batteries Of artillery from Mary
land to Raleigh, North Carolina. j.
- this because a Republican Convention
tt is about to be held in that Slate, from
which il is deemed necessary to 'eX-
ciude all anti-Grant Republicans?
so An Individual who was puzzled to
- know where aiEthe Smiths came from.
las at last solved the mystery. AT
Waterbury, Connecticut, on a long
- factory appears a sign inscribed:
eSmith's Manufacturing Company -
There has been a good many imported
TO this county.
Mr.. E. Shopbell is still wide-awake
s. for business, Inc is making renew
efG ed exeriions in manufacturing his just
ly celebrated and improved Boot,
Shoe and Cater Patterns, the best in
So! the world. His late improvement
makes itpefeot in every respect, and has
no parallel in existence. He will soon
have circulars out showing the merits
of his wonderful and ingenious inven-
ton.
An Elnira farmer wrote to Mr..
Greeley for his experience in raising
=. geese for market. Horace said there
was no trouble at all about it if the
- p~oslinos were not weaned too Young.
He saws they should be allowed to
.. run with the old COW and suck until
their horns got out an inch or two,
SO when they will be hardly enough to
pack and salt down for market.
IL ABuffalo paper prints the following
letter from one of its old and prompt
paying patrons: "Please discontinue
my paper for the time / have paid up
TO. I do not stop the paper because
- I do not want it, but to get rid of an
intolorable cid bore that mtrudes him.
self in. my house, regardless of time
or circumstances, to sit for an hour
II or two, three or four times a week, to
fead my papers, and who is a thou
sand times more able to take a dozen
papers for himself than I ana to take
one. IF the nuisance is stopped, i
sIaii send for the paper again.
The man that borrows his neigh
bors paper, cannes thrive.