The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-12-16
A now York Drummer Penetrates
the lnter..l Revenae Districts
From the Metropolitan Record. !


| IFrom the Metropolitan ReeordI
L an what some people ignorantly call q
drummer" In other words, I'm b travelling
clerk for the "0reat North American Tool and
Implement manufacturing Company" and, a. q
matter OF course, In my various prersgrinatious
over the country, have some strange sdven.
lures.
| One evening I Grove into the little ~illsge Of
Smithville, Tsnh., and stopped before nice
looking cottage, with the owner of which /
thought l might be able to "strike trade" as
| the surroundings indicated that skilled and
enterprising hand had charge of them.
l shouted "hsllo," and was answered by the
proprietor In person: l stated my business in
as glowing terms ~ possible, and wound up by
| Ashing him it he wished anything in my line.
well. no. he replied you see rm assessor
Of internal revenue for tSi. district, and INV du.
| ties are such that have not time for any thing
| else"
Perhaps your neighbor over there said !,
pointing across the way, "would buy few AL
| tiolss2"
"HeP He's assistant assessor of internal reye.
nue tor this district, and it requires sl his time
to attend to his duties guess he wouldn't buy
anything"
who lives In the mex. house down there 2n 7
inquired, hopefully.
mn. Smith, collector Of internal revenue for
this DISTRICT. He hss no time for farming, and
OF course, would buy nothing in that line"
may Do the owner of that fine mansion on
the hill yonder," replied I. solemnly, would
take q few agricultural implements, rs every.
thing around him indicates -"
"Oh, no" said he, interrupting me, she's as.
sistant collector of internal revenue for this dis.
triot, and il he had oil the farming implement.
in the world b. wouldn't have time to use 'em"
docs any body else live in this town :" l asked,
dsspairiugly, for Ne other houses were visible.
Yes" was the reply, "Mr. Jones lives just be.
yoAd the hill yonder; but he is inspector of in.
tsraal revenue for this district, and 10 never at
home"
Thunder and hghtning!" said I, warmly.
docs the revenue department live here? is
there blacksnish in the placer II there is,
maybe he would like some of our TOOLS"
"Mr. Simmons was blacksmith, but he
las received the appointment of assistant in
spsetor OF internal revenue for this district last
week, and IN consequence OF which he closed his
shop for the present"
rs there man In this village who is not coz
nected with the internal revenue in this die.
triot ?"
I asked this question as sarca ssicallv as pos
sible. and with very faint glimmering of hone.
"Well, yes, there's the postmaster, but he is
expected to receive commission as inspector of
brsndies and whiskies for this district I think
1t IL useless for you to 90 10 him."
Where is the hotel :" [ asked, disa listed.
"Do you collect enough revenue in this dis.
trlct to pay yourselves 7" l asked, for informa.
tien.
NO. sir, we do not but other districts col.
iect moro than enough. Their surplus is appro.
priated to fill our deficiency. Thus things are
e9ualized. Don't you see the philosophy of 1t?
What would the Government be without reye.
nue' Good evening, srs"
ne left. and 20 did l. Up to this time have
failed to see the ''philosophy of it,"