The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-12-31
M,rnIng Star and Catholic Messenger.
wrr AND wIsDoM.

Sl0RUI0I--xO6 60 u &6IO0u W6lks
Fugitive clothing-The lands cape.
"A volume that will bring tears to your
eyes. A volume of smoke.
Why is the sun like good loafi Be-
cause it's light when it rises.
In Colorado a bald person finds himself
alluded to as {" q man with his head above
UNDERLINE"
Why is innocence like an umbrellas Be-
cause, when We have lost it We may never
hope to see it back.
An old lady hearing of the pedestrians
great feat, wondered why they didn't inter-
fere with his fast walking.
Do not be troubled because you have not
great virtues. God made q million spears
Of grass where he made one tree.
Sense shines with double lustre when
it is set in humility. An able and yet hum
BILE man is jewel worth kingdom.
A travelling piano player undertook to
whip an Illinois editor, and when he got
A young man in Ohio recently opened q
clothing store, and was sent to Jail for it.
Cause.-The clothing store belonged to an
other man.
A grocer in Camp street, when complain
ed to about selling bad eggt, said, CAT this
time of the year the hens are not we'll, and
often lay bad eggs."
A respectable householder lit a match to
discover a leakage in hia gas pipe. There
is every reason to believe that he found
it.; but nothing of himself has been seen
since.
A man once went to an eccentric lawyer
to be qualified for some petty Office. The
lawyer said to him, Hold up your hand.
I'll swear you, but oil creation couldn't
qualify you"
"You've destroyed my peace Of mind"
said responding lover to a truant lass.
cit can't do you much harm, John, for it
was q very small piece you had, anyway"
was the quick reply.
This is how a paragraph in Western
paper records suicide: He blew his head
off. Bilious, poor and disheartened. The
gun-muzzle in his mouth, his toe on the
trigger, and mp goes his hair"
A bachelor sea-captain, who was remark
ing one day that he wanted good chief
officer, was promptly informed by young
lady that she had no objections to be his
first mate. He took the hint and the lady.
Somebody once asked Tom Corwin if he
bells. "Was it about himself ~ inquired
Mr.. Corwin. No, believe not" I" Well,
then, never heard it," said Mr.. Corwin,
gravely.
Says O New York exchange-Now that
one Ring" lie broken, we must look out
for another. The difference between thieves
who are losing power, and those who are
tween Tweed-le-dum and Tweed-1e-dee.
An English writer advises young women
to look favorably upon those engaged in
agricultural pursuits, assigning as one rea-
son that their I" Mother Eve married gar
dener." He forgot to add that in coDse-
Quence of the match the gardener lost his
situation.
A rogue was once begging charity on
pretence of being dumb. A lady having
he had been dumb, he was thrown of his
guard, and replied, "From birth, madam"
"Poor fellow" said the lady, and gave him
shilling.
A school boy having been required to
write a composition on some part of the
human body, expounded as follows: The
throat-a throat is convenient to have, es-
former eats corn with it the latter breaches
through his'n and then ties it up"
"I keep the best bread" said certain
baker the other day, to a poor fellow who
complained Of the inferior quality of the
article he had purchased of him the day
before. 81 don't doubt it," replied the Gus
toner. "Then why do you complain :"
best bread and keep the bad, J." was the re-
ply.
The other day Molecule propounded the
following to Atom-t'A boy said to gen.
tleman' My father and mother have a
daughter, but she is not my sister, Now
how do you explain that = Atom reflected
in vain, and was forced to give it up.
why, it's simple enough said Molecule
with an exasperating smile, the boy lied'"
A Chicago lover went to visit his girl one
evening recently, but for some reason, pos
sibly that the FIRE materially changed bis
condition of life, she received and treated
him coolly. He remained standing in the
parlor few moments, but finally made
a movement toward the door, remark
ing that "he guessed he'd CO." "Oh!"
said she, starting from beautiful condition
of semi "won't you take
q chair7" DWELL, don't care If 1 do"
was his reply, and he took the chair, thank
ing her kindly, and carried it home. He
says it is a good chrir, made of walnut,
with stufing and green cover-just what he
wanted. But he is down on that girl, and
declares he wouldn't marry her-not if her
father owned brewery.