Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1871-10-05
Paragraphs.

Paragraphs.
\ certain eminent temperance lecturer was
setting forth most awful portraiture OF old
King Alchohol, when muzzy-lookiug brother
arose in the corner Of the hall and observed: :.
II like t ask the gent an q quesh n;
Certainly. my friend, said the urbane speak,
er, by all means, i wish t. INQUIRE OF the
gen4 m f he 3 ever been tight? Thank
God, no" was the response. This brain has
never been muddled with the accursed thing.
Once more the muzzy one spoke :''"Then don't
the gen'rln'n seem to use great 'miliarity
bout an entire stranger, S long s he haln't
been introdooccd?' The speaker had to strug-
gle tor some moments before he could olrcum-
vent the unseemly Interruption and get back to
the thread of his EdisG1urse. You see he dld
not know whereof he affirmed. ...'
Ia Toledo, Ohio, few days since ! hand
-omely dressed gentleman, wishing to have q
chat with young lady with whom he was un-
acquainted, stepped into store where she was
cnploycd and after stating that he was
stranger politely asked if she would sew put
ton on his glove The young lady cchcerfully
complied with the request, and when the sewing
had been completed he made his bow Much
obliged to you and prepared to depart, where
upon the young lady tapped upon the counter
aud said "Twenty-ive cts SIR which sum
was paid witha falling countenance The young
ladySs only excuse for the demand being. He
had his fun, and it yas perfectly right that hc
should pay for it :! ...
\ clergyman, who had been staying for some
lime at the house ola friend, on going away
called to him little Tommy, the four year old son
nf his host, and Tommy, who had great respect
for the ''cloth, thought it his duty to Suggest
something Of 4 religious nature, so he announced
hestatingly: IL think [ should like tests
mcnt, and know should like a pop-gun
See here, Jim Brown, did you ever say that
my father hadn't as much sense as Sam Smith
weller dog" 'No, never said any such thing
said that Sam Smith yeller dog had moro
sense than your father eyer :s had. and tn that Is
lind' say the other thing, | tell you.
''Why is ;" sada schoolmistress toa scapc,
grace who had caused her much trouble by bad
conduct, you behaved so we'll when you first
came to school, and are 50 diSobcdient now =
Because, said young hopeful, looking up
into the schoolmistrcSs face, Il wasn't much
acquainted with you then.
At the examination of parochal school,
reverend gentleman was asking 4 class the
meaning Of words. They answered very we'll
till it he gave "backbiter. 1t went down the
class till came to u simple urchn, who looked
sheepishly knowing, and said, 1T may be
flea. W. ',.. ...
BRANDoN.-It can hardly be necessary to
call attention to the unequalled Inducements
oferded to purchasers by the proposed sale OF
Upper Brandon. y,
the traditions of the former time, no little of
melancholy reflection will be suggested by the
announcement that this time honored estate
must pass from the hands Of the family who
for one hundred and fifty years have possessed
it. making its mansion, during all those years,
the very home Of graceful ease, Of elegant
leisure, and Of that hospitality which dlgnlhcd
the hosts whilst itcharmed the guests OF what
ever degree. 1t is not for US, nor the the pry-
ing eye of the public, to attempt to penetrate
the causes which have led to this SALE 1t is
sufficient to knows that circumstance, or tate,
rfree will, leads the present possessors OF this
princely domain to offer it to the public bid
BY reference to the advertisement, 1t will be
seen mat the two farms which comprise the
Upper Brandon tract respectively OF lI6O and
of lOSl acres, together comprising 2,S4l acres,
whereof more than $3.50 are Of the best quality
of James River alluvium, n character of soil
for century celebrated in the agricultural re-
cords of Virginia; that the outhouses, barns
stables &C., are numerous and substantial that
the drainage is good and that the dwelling,
and grounds, are of quality rarely sean in
Virginia These points are vital, and every
buyer must pay his chief attention to them.
But no advertisement, nor indeed any average
buyer, could display or estimate that unmarked
able and ideal value which hangs around Bran
don on James River. From the days when
COL Byrd of Westover, the Lees and Shlrleys,
the Parkes and Harrisons were leading nlen III
the Old Dominion. and guided by their coun-
ii. of thu poOnv trnm tba
time of the Spottswoods to that OF the Dun-
more who met House of Burgesses famous In
history there has been no day when Brandon
and its people were not household words
among Virginians. Brandcn Neck as it was
identified with the earliest history of the colo.
nv ; so its possesSurs have been known Tar and
wide IN the life not of the colony ouy but of
the Union OF which that colony was at once
chief architect and chief ornament tlarrlsons
were Burgesses: Harrisons were legislators,
Harrsons were Generals and Harrison sat in
White House but far beyond such public
distinction has been the love which that family
has ever deserved and won ofits neighbors tor
warm hearts and upright lives -~feters6Tg
index.
The ODD Fellows The recent gathering
of this great benevolent organization at Chica-
90 was grand and glorious success, and gave
evidence, if any We're needed. OF the increasing
prosperity and influence Of the Order 1t was
numerousy attended, and afthe hotels OF the
,ity were crowded to oyerHowing almost.
Among the guests were many of the most dis.
,iuguished characters OF the Order, who had
come from great distance to do honor to the
ussemblage. The address Of Grand Sire
Stuart gave a most hatteriug picture of the
progress of the Order, not only, in the United
S,ofes Lut all over the world. During the
past , YEAR, nearly 10000 members have been
added to the fold in this country, and more
than million of dollars have been donated; to
the afflicted In the same period 2, s24 members
have died the number Of brethren relieved d
WIS Is, ,353, and the widowed families assisted
4.tn5. There are l,27l encampments, With vi:
62,77O Patriarchs in this country. Nv hen It Is
considered than the organization was started IN
the United States only fifty years ago by hve