The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1871-11-02
PLEASANT pARAoRApHs.
Tireside tail-TheNcat'a.


A Fireside tail-Thecat's.
BARRIERS make many friends, but
scrape more acquaintance.
SOME musicians put on more airs
than they can play.
II is easier for a man to be engaged
than to be engaging.
IT is unreasonable to complain be-
cause your clock stOps-it cannot get
on without weight.
If three feet will make yard, how
many hands need you employ to build
warehouse in it?
WHAT is the difference between a
coat and baby? The one wear,
the other was.
FACTS should be put down in black
and white; in another colored ink
they might appear ink-red-ible.
A CLERGYMAN said that the men,
bers of his church are united-frozen
together.
CARE these rooms to let 2" said
polite gentleman to handsome young
lady. Yes, SIR" "And are you to
to be let with them ?" "No, sir!
am to be let alone!'
allow do you define black as your
hat p" said a schoolmaster to one of
his pupils. Darkness that may be
felt, !" was the reply. lanso
A YOUNG married woman in the
country says she wishes she had
magic mirror to see how her husband
hi colG IN oh
AN Illinoisan recently kissed the
hired girl while his wife was looking.
1t is thought he will be out again by
Thanksgiving.
FEMALE agitation is going beyond
civil suffrage. AS the winter ball
season approaches, she insists on her
right to bare arms. 81
|, "A MAN tookoff his coat to show o ter
rible wound he had received few
years before. Not being able to find
the wound he suddenly remembered
that it was his brother Bills arm"
- A CAL1FoRN1A paper says that the
crime of jerking the hair out of your
wife's head is not so sinful as it for
merly was. It is just as ungentleman-
ly as ever, but it doesn't hurt as it
used to.
A YoUNGsTER, while perusing a
chapter in Genesis, turning to his
mother, inquired if the people of those
days worked sums on the ground.
1t was discovered that he had been
reading the passage, "And the sons
of men multiplied on the face of the
earth" as s, ~
"PRAY," inquired one minister of
another, seeing so many ladies attend
his church, "why do you invariably
address your congregation as dear
brethren p,' "Oh, the answeris easi-
ly given" he replied =" the brethren
embrace the sisters" -
A M1LEsIAN born on the last day of
the year, felicitates himself on the
narrow escape from not being born
at ALL "Be jabers," says he, sand if
it had not been until the next day,
what would have become of me?"
WHEN man is unable to tell the
time by his watch because there are
two hands, and he doesn't know
f" which to believe,p it is tolerably
sure sign that he has partaken of more
refreshments than his nature requires.
VICKY Woodruff sWears that by
if Congress does not give suf-
frage to women, they will secede, and
erect a government of their own"
(The table that she brought her fist
down upon is now kindling wood.)
Ina late vacation letter Henry Ward
Beecher enumerates as among tlfe de-
lights of summer rest the privilege of
lege that good many clergymen have
the whole year round. 1t there any
of them who don't have enough of that
luxury let them try the editing busi-
ness. fa s43
INTELLECT is a good thing to have,
but.sometimes it doesn't go far enough.
An Indiana cooper, finding consider
able difficulty in keeping one of the
casks he was finishing in its place, put
his son inside to hold the head up.
After completing the work much to
his satisfaction, he was astonished to
find his boy inside the cask, and with
no possibility of getting out except
the bung-hole.
"YoU here, Jenkins? How the
deuce did you find your way out ?"
"Find my way outl Out of where?
What do you mean p a'd a'-
"Why, the last saw of you, you
were lost-in slumber." s6g
Oh-ah; well, rode out on
night mare!'