Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-10-05
CHGPs OF MGINEOR,
Why was Eve not afraid of the meas
les? Because she'd Adam.

married a golden angel; but instead had
caught a poor tartar.
An Oregon toast, over a glass of the
ardent: "Here's what makes us wear old
clothes.'
Why is a young lawyer like national
currency? Because he is q legal tender
and Somewhat green.
Fashionable people who we'd don't go
to Europe any more for a bridal trip, but
to Indiana, where they can be separated
on short notice.
u~I-natured acquaintance of a certain
Boston militia officer assert that his
sword was drawn but once-and then in
a rattle. AY9t fa!2
WHY'S avery pretty, well-made, fash
ionable girl like a thrifty h~ousekeeper?
Because she has made a great hustle
about a very small waist.
90 Good housekeepers are ssputting up''
all the fruit they ca5e, and little boys and
girls are willing to try and "put down"
as much fruit as their mothers.
"I say Jones, that's a shocking bad hat
of yours. Why do you wearsuch a hide
Gus thing p, Because my dear fellah,
Mrs. Jones declares she will not go out
oftthe house with ME till I get q better
oRe3nbiH sri 10 eazssslg
"Where. do you hail from" queried a
Yankee of a fraveler. sNyhere do you
-srainsfroma'h sDoR't rain at all" said
the astonished Jonathan. stNeither do I
hail so mind your own business"
The MAYOR of St. Joseph, Missouri,
gave permission toa citizen to kill two
dogs which annoyed hims and the next
morning the mayor found two of his w
dogs dead, With his ownsvaFrant of peri
-,so,soa e., 4Iay,. 1-il1irSr rin1,ol on thaiT
bodies Though he HASN'T exactly got the
hydrophobia, that mayor is mad.
aEA dealer in fertilizers down in Ala
Q bama, Dragging. of his guano, sayssa far
mer recently put a sample of it into his
carpet tack, and started homezon horse
back. Before reaching his Shouse his
steed broke down, and the farmer was at
loss to discover the cause until he found
- that the carpet tack had grown to be a
long bar of railway iron 40 -
"I am glad,n said a missionary to an
Indian chief, Sthat you do not drink
whisky, but it grieyes me to, find that
your people are aecastomed5to drink so
n much of it.''a "Ah,iyesr' said the red
: man, as he fixed am eloquentseye upon
the preacher, which communicated the
reproof before he suffered it, 9"Mwe indians
use a great deal of whisky, but we do mo
make it.'sf4 -
During the evening service in a New
Haven church, recently, the pastor OBJ
served a man in a back seat hitching
about in an uncomfortable manner, and
thinking his conscience troubled him,
said, 8Does the brother wantto speakp'
The man rising, said, ono, sir; the
brother wants a drink of water" walked
to the altar, took a drink, and resumed
liz 1oaH FLOW urhioh tho cnryiaac nrn-
ceeded.IE1chdn1e.
PROPER PUNCTUATIoN.-The imper-
lance of careful punctuation cannot he
insisted on too urgently. Here are a few
instances which illustrate: !.
HWanted a young man to take charge
of a pair of horses of a religious turn OF
mind.' ga child was run over by a wa
gon three years old and cross-eyed with
pantalets which never spoke afterward.'
FLost, an enameled lady's gold watch
int charms"
Celia Burleigh, in one of her sermons,
says: 81 AVE known folks who have
never committed a blunder, whose hearts
are as dry as dust; INT others who have
constantly transgressed, whose sympa-
thies were as warm and quick as those
of an angel" 1t is singular how natur-
ally the sympathies of some woman gush
toward a little "cussedness" in the mas
culine gender. . -4-5
Monsieur Goussaut, President of the
!, Chamber of Accompts, was celebrated
for stupidity. One day, standing behind
la player at piquet, who did. not know
him, the player throwing a foolish aaeard
exclaimed, Lam a mere Goussaut "
The President, enraged at finding his
fool.' e'True,'' said the other, without
even looking back, tsthat is just what l
meant to say" Ss.@ sg
An Indiana man broke a chair over his
wife's head a week or two ago. When
he got to jail, and the clergyman UNDER
took to talk with him, he displayed a
good deal of penitence. He said that he
was very sorry that he had permitted his
anger to obtain the mastery of him, and
and suffer him to do such an act, because
it was a goodold-fashioned Windsor chair.
an heirloom in his family, and he knew
he never could replace it,.
A mamma in the rural districts lately
gave her fve-year-old hopeful an outfit
of fish tackle. Soon she heard a shout
from Willie ; and running out found one
of her best hens fast winding up the line
in her crop, whittier the hook had al
ready preceded it. Willie, observing the
troubled look of his mother, quietly re-
marked, "Don't worry, mother; j
guess she will stop when she get. to the
pole"
An exchange informs us that, under
proper management, a bushel of peaches
may be skinned in five minutes. Sal
soda and water will accomplish the
work; but a strong I've made of wood
ashes is recommended. Bring the I've to
the boiling-point, put in the peaches, and
stir them gently until h skin ,beginstO
come off. Then throw them into a pail
of cold water. Remove the skins, and
pass them into another vessel of cold wa
ter, and thence to The preserving kettle,
if you desire to ear Or preserve them
whole. They should not remain in the
boiling I've more than twelve or fifteen
seconds.
Felix was the faithful but somewhat
tyrannical valet of the late Baron Roths-
child. 1t was his business to dress his
master, and he did not allow his judg-
ment upon matters of the toilet to be
called in question. ~ az
"What sort of an overcoat is that,
Felix ?" asked the Baron n morning.
ssThat which Monsieur lie Baron will
put on to-day" answered Felix. 's