Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-04-28
NUMBER 5.
Gencralitins.

They have Steer for Mayor in
i,ockport. N. Y.
"A poor washer woman says, that
while there's fife, there's soap.
Dan Rice will make another fare.
well tour this summer. He's the
/ farewellest man In the business.
The census returns of Chicago,
just completed, show the total popu~
lation of that city to be .os.977.
"A blind woman runs sewing
machine In Montreal, and makes
from So to $40 weekly.
Cincinnati lawyers puncI, each
Others heads to determine their
social standing. .s
--yicksburg fears that the Missis-
sippi Is going to leave her twelve
miles inland.
A clergyman In Connecticut,
boasts the title of the Rev. Hezekiah
Fiddle, ID. ID.
Josh Billings says: Rats orIgi>
nally came from Norway, and noe
body would have cared IL they had
originally staid there.
San Francisco is successfully
raising oysters brought from the At
lantic coast aud planted In the bay.
School Teacher-What Is the Prus.
sian Diet? Juvenile Bologna
sausage, lager beer ard pretzels.
brigham Young has ordered daily
prayers by the Utah clergy against
the grasshopper this summer.
-"If you marry that poor girl you
will find matrimony up hill work."
GOOD" said the lover: "I'd rather
go up than down hill.n ... ...
A number of soda water lakes
have been discovered In Colorado
The kind of syrup attached to each
lake Is not mentioned.
"A ladies'slife insurance company
is being formed In London. One
provision Is, that all employees are to
be women.
An Indiana jury gave q young
lady only nineteen cents, out of $2o,-
900 she claimed, as plaster for her
| fractured heart. .....
/ The Louisville Journal nomi-
mates =. A. Leonard, of Chicago, for
the presidency. because he shoots his
brothcrs-in>law, ... .....
james Brown. of Ohio, q klns-
man of John Brown, and one OF the
soldiers OF 1872, refuses TO take PEN
sion because the county IL In debt.
There are two eventful periods In
the life of woman; one when She
wonders whom she will have, the
other when she wonders who will
have her.
The strongest propensity In wo-
mans nature, says careful student
of the sex, Is To- want to know what
Is going on, and the next strongest 10
to boss the job.
A bill has been passed by the
Michigan house of representatives,
compelling the attendance, at school,
of children between the ages Of eight
and fourteen.
The editor OF a newspaper near
Lake Champlain has discovered a
way of keeping eggs from spoilIng.-
His method is to eat them when
when they are freshi
The Indianapolis divorce market
is quoted Common separation, SIS;
small alimony, S25; large nlimony.
$50 to 500. There are but few of the
latter I'm the market. General busi-
ness good and increasing.
| The strongest minded girl lives
at Louisville. Though engaged for
two years she has never allowed her
intended TO kiss her. She thinks
she lost former lover by too much
familiarity. .....
The other day a Montreal tailor
sent his bill to magazine editor.
He was startled few hours after
ward by Its being returned with the
note appended, your manuscript is
respectfully declined"
An exchange says: 1--WE ARE I'm
receipt of two poems, one on the
'Throbbing Brain and the other
on a Bleeding Heart We will
wait until we receive one on tho
Stomach Ache, and publish all
three together"
"A miser, worth twenty thousand
dollars, died In Knoxville, ILL.,, res
Gently. from uRintentional generosi-
ty. He drew check of five humid
red dollars, instead Of five, to present
to nephew, and, when he found
what he had done, he cried, 81 am n
ruined mani and died from the eff
fects Of the shock.
| The New York MoH says:--
"Plain hair Is rapidly becoming fasli-
ionable. How sorry we are for
the unfortunate girls who have ruin
ed their front hair by long course
of hot iron and crimping pins. We
wonder VI false fronts. such as old Ia
dies used to wear, will be adopted TO
hide deficiencies? ?p
"A duellist I'm Washington, once
made three propositions, when chal-
lenged: The first being TO sit ON o
barrel Of gunpowder together; the
second, to hold hands and jump
frem the top of the capitol; and the
third scarcely less impious, to shoot
at each other within ten PAGES, with
three musket balls! The last was
taccepted, and one Of the parties fell
at the first fire.
PATRcNIzE home merchants and
let travelling auctions go to the dcgs.