Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1871-05-25
ODDS AND ENDS.

1T is impossible that an lima
tured man can have 4 public spirit;
for, how should he love ten thousand
men who never loved oneT
A young woman's conundrum-
Who is our favorite Roman hero?
Marius.
A student at Yale startled the
class at recitation the other day.
''What stars never setP asked the
Professor. "Roostarsr' was the
prompt reply setto Uoce.
nottingham be more conducive
to the prosperity of young grape
vine than cat planted beneath its
roots. 1t is not necessary that the
cat should be alive.
''My wife," said q wag the other
day, "came near calling me honey,
last night" Indeed! how was
that?' "Why, she called me old
beeswax.
Two boys were conversing about
Elijah's ascent in the chariot of fire.
Said one:
Wouldn't you be afraid to ride in
such q chariot?" l..r..
mo, not if God drove" was the
reply. . r.r r#.... l.s-
A Western editor says that a girl
who is now called ga beautiful
blonde" a few years ago would have
been termed ga tow-head."
The good are taken first does
not apply at photograph establish
ments or barber shops. Each must
take his or her turn, good or wicked.
A good instance of absence of
mind was an editor quoting from a
rival paper one of his own articles,
and heading it "Wretched attempt
at wit"
North Carolina claims the ''cham-
pion voter" At the last election he
walked to the polls followed by sew
enteen sons, and they collectively
deposited eighteen ballots.
Josh Billings observes; "Sekrets
are kussed poor property emmy how;
if yu circulate them yu loze them,
and if yu keep them yu loze the in
terest on the investment"
A boy eight years old, in one of
our public schools, having been told
that reptile sis an animal that
creeps," on being asked to name
one on examination day. promptly
replied "the baby"
II wish you would pay little at
tention to what / am saying, SIR"
rOared an irate lawyer at an exasper-
ated witness. "Well, am paying
as little as / can," was the calm re-
ply.
Memory is q patient camel, bear
ing huge burdens over life's sandy
desert. Intuition is bird of para
disc, drinking in the aroma of celes-
tial flowers.
God, in tender indulgence to our
different dispositions, has strewed
the Bible with flowers, dignified it
with wonders, and enriched it with
delights.
There is brevity and abrupt pre-
,ision in Dante. One shifting word, |
and then there is silence-nothing
more said. His silence is more elo-
1uent than words.
The advertisement of Pennsyl-
Tania railroad in December, 1882,
'eads: ''The engine, with train of
,ars, will be run daily, commencing
his day, when the weather is fair.
When the weather is not fair the
lorses will draw the cars. Passen-
gers are requested to be punctual at
he hour of starting"
"Come here, Felix; you said the
etter E was glutton; how do you
NOW itr' Because.he changes fasts
nto feasts, is invariably the first to
commence eating, and is always last
it the table"
"Are you colored?" asked an off
;ial of dusky ineberate, at the
Providence. N. H., central station,
he other evening. "No," answered |
he enfranchised drowsily, 81 was
,orn sc"
Two little school girls were lately
,rattling together,and one of them
aid: ''We keep four servants, have
,ot six horses and lots of carriages;
low what have got" With as much
ride the other answered, "We've
lot a skunk under our barn.
He took her fancy when he came;
le took her hand; he took kiss;
le took no notice of the shame that
lowed her happy cheek at this. He
ook to coming afternoons; he took
n oath he'd meier deceive; he took
er fathers silver spoons, and after
hat he took his leave. /.
The census takers in some Dor
ions of the West have as funny ex-
eriences as those in the large cities.
)ne has discovered lady in Indi- +,
ma who is happy and contented in
he name of Jane Juliet Isalina Ar s
mipta Musadora Frank Peeks, and I
4 Ohio q farmer has been found $
hose first son is named Imprimis, =,
ne second Finis, ,and the three others Z
Addendum, and Erratum. h
A Snowman in the State of Maine
'anted to exhibit an Egyptian mum
~ and attended at the Court House /
obtain permission, sWhat is it c
on want to show?" inquired the L
udge. "An Egyptian mummy more /
lan three thousand years old" said g
ne Snowman. "Three thousand Il
ears old" exclaimed the Judge, i
lmping to his feet, and sis the crit f
r alive?n 9
A Western paper says: "The old
aids Of the Eastern States who i,
ave been shipping themselves to Ii
he Territories to get married can't o
,cure husband and home the
rst thing after eating supper, as
any suppose. There has been '
lch rush that the bachelors have =
ecome particular, and now put II
lem through chatechism, as, =