The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-01-05
Che Uritute.
PARAGRAPHICAL.

Va Handy book markers-dlrty myers.
The Wisconsin Legislature meets the
18th of this month
"A white glove often cenceals dirty
hand. ~ e
Florida is overrun with sojourners for
the winter.
Steal Easy. is the name of post.office
in Illinois.
Great pains and little gains makes a
man weary, nsfass
Caution to those who attend balls
Never 6nishethe evening with reel.
a nnedicafsnrgieaf OPERATION take
the cheek out Of young man and the
jaw out of a young woman. $50 TT -
The difference between boquet Of
flowers ap' bouquet of wine is,
that one makes nosegay and the other
= - eqered eenflespa1s in Georgia wag4
sefed Sle.00 that@hes ceuIds dirk q quart.
Of Atlanta whiskey. The money was
promptly. paid to widow.
7 Three burglars worked twenty honrs,
on county safe in Wisconsin. and got Just
cent apiece.
An English Bishop once said: "Our
girls are poorly educated, and our boys
never find it out srsx - tai
An Arkansas man, sentenced to be
hanged, is in bad way. The nelghbor-
ing carpenters refuse to build the gal
lows. and the Shesif don't know how.
The prisoneris carpenter himself, and
the Sheriff has tried several Zines to have
him build it, but be says hell be hang
ed il he will, $; aa.l t.ets sra,n-.f.
Why is an empty champagne bottle
like an orphan? Because it has lost it's
pop.
Origin Of name-It Is said that the
name "sirloin was given by Charles the
Second of England. Having dined from
loin one, day. ard being particularly pleas
ed with it. he asks ed what that particular
piece of beef was called. On being told
that it was loin. he said, jacosely. that
it should be knighted for It's merit, and
called it Sir Loin-hence its present
rame. .e sss-r 4 s5.-s-
A frightful warning Of the evil effects
of inordinate use of Intoxicating drinks
occurred in Cincinnati recently, and we
I copy it for the benegt of the temperance
papers. A man was killed by too
much whiskey 1t was in barrel. and
feal from a second story window.
:. Aceuple of farmers in Indiana went
to law eleven years ago about an OK yoke
worth, perhaps, $l,25. Last month
they settled the suit and both sol their
fanls to pay the costs, which were born
by each equally. They got Of well,
a lit.le girl, when her fathers table
was honorcd by an esteemed guest, b, :
). gan to talk very earnestly at the first
pause in the conversation. Her father
checked her rather sharply saying
why is it that you always talk so
much p 'Tause I've dot somesin to
say, was the innocent reply.
BE patient. Do the will Of Col, aim
high, work hard and then have pa
tiencc. Byand by the reward will come.
Wait. IF you have to wait till you get
1t In heaven, it will be there. No man
shall do anything in this world, and lose
: his reward. First or last it shall come
to harvest.
A Kickapoo Indian who had got too
much fire water into- him saw locomo-
tive coming down the R. R. track. The
befuddled red man thought it was a
new kind of buffalo, and being in want
of buffalo meat for his squw and papoos-
ges, unsinng his iasso.g fasteHed one end
| around his body and the pondmef OF his
saddle, and as the engine passed him,
threw the running moose over the smoke
stack.
There wasn't any funeral among the
Kickapoo that day, becausesthey couldn't
find piece of either Indian or Indians
pony, large enough to bury.
An 'iliiterate farmer, VIKING to enter
some animals 1T an agricultural exhibit.
the society: s..Alss eater dne- for the best
Jack.ass. I am sure OF getting the pre-
MUM.
A man called another an extortioEer
for suing him. "Why my FRIEND re-
piled the man who brought the suit. ~
! did IT. to oblige yeu y .Ee o5lige me.
indaadt How ca ~ ssWbv to ohIiga vou
- ~ Pay iae| q Eg2 gETxF fsz sEFs
A chap out west, who had been severe
ly afflicted with palpitation OF the heart,
says he found instant relief by the apph-
: cationsof another palptating heart. An
other triumph Of homeopathy. Like
Tres like" S oa-
- The Methodist wishes that Christian
men would renren Der God in their busl-
nessaHairs. Too many, it says. if they
were hoaest, would declare as the man
who said When = start on, an. Grand
of mercy and stop to deal in horses. |
nsves have good luck. The fact it, l
$ doa't want the Lord around when IN
trading horses - -~-~
A sharp student'was called up by the
worthy professor of celebrated college,
aAd asked the question. Can a man see
without eyes?'" Yes sir was the prompt
reply. 'Fow, sir" cried the astonished
professor, 'can man see without eyes
Pray. sir, how do you make that out p
He can see with one sir" replied the