Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-02-23

ashton plate and an unpaid taylor's

fashion plate and an unpaid taylor's
bill.
never knew but one infidel in mi
liie. end he had no more courage than
hall drowned kitten just pulled out ov
swill barrel, and az afraid tev lie a,
the devil would be if he waz allowed
tew visit this earth for a short time to
recruit himself.
At the present advance of intelektual
refinement philosophy will prove faith
TO be farce-Adam a rclick-this world
the work ov an earth -quake-the Bible
a tale ov credulity and the Almighty
nothing more than an honorary mem
Der ov the CRATE college ov science and
art.
Debt IL a trap which man sets and
bats himself and then deliberately gifts
into.
Disease and pills, when they enter \
mans boldly, are like two lawyers when
they undertake tew settle hiz Affairs,
they comprcmise the matter by LAYING
out the patient.
One good way i kno ov to find hap
piness IL not by boreing hole to fit the
piugg, but by making plugg to fit the
hole.
\ lie IL like nitro-glycerine, the best
ov Judges kant tell when il il going to
bust and skater confushun.
n kicking COW never lets drive until
jist az the pail IL full. and seldum misses
the mark; 1t IL jist so with sum mems
blundcrs.
Az the flint kontaius the spark. un-
known tew itself, which the steel alone
kan wake into life, so adversity often
reveals tew us hidden gems which pros
a. io, "A
About one hatf the pity in this world
IL not the result of sorrow, but salts
iackshun that il aint our hoss that baz
had hiz leg broke.
Most people when they come tew WI
for advice come tew have their own
opinions strengthened. not correkted.
Men seem tcw me, NOWADAYS, tew be
divided into slow Christians and wide
awake sinners.
There IL lots ov folks who are like q
pump, not ov emmy use tew the mseIves,
but simply a handle aud suck shun for
others.
All happiness il like gold in quartz,
there IL four quartz OF stone to one
ounce ov gold.
Hope and Debt are partners in trade
Hope hunts up the customer and Debt
skins them.
Hunger is slut hound on a fresh
track
Toll SWEETS at the brow, but idlensss
SWEETS all over
Despair i. the ashes ov hope, which
the wind of tribulashun skaters.
\ man haz got about done going
down hill when he gifts whar he brags
on III laZines5; such Il kritter i. of no
more use to himself nor others than a
iroZcntcw-death rooster in a barnyard
lie who spends all his substance in
charitv will undoubtedly git hiz reward
here and hereafter; but his reward here
will be the poor-house.
Give 4 smart child a pack of kar,ls
and y SPELLING book, and he will larn
| tew play good game of hi 10 jak before
- Na' ~" j" ora or TWO silftblcs
A lie IL good for a short race. but il
| takes tru tn tcw run the heats-'1blood
| will tell -
| Thare i, huge number ov souls per-
ambulaliug the world who hav blu
| straining tor wears after a camel aud IL
! nall, had to swallow IA nat.
| We should all aim at perfekshun, but
| no oae but phool will sxpekt tew
/ reach it.
Pride lives on itself it iz like a rae
coon; III winter, keep, fat hi sue king
I it, claws.
l-afiin9 dcveIs are the most danger Gus.
II had u mule that wouldn't nei ther
| Kick nor bite, | should watch him dread
iul -pry till found out WHARF hi, malice
hay.