The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-10-07
VARIETY.

tOQleil0We-DrlcklayeIe IdoofeIS'
Charleston man electrified hotel waiter by
sring the whole bill of fare.
When man puts up at Chicago hotel he
50 N the papers next morning that he has
ned in his foaming valise at the fremont
The young men at the watering places have
discarded white vests The young ladies use so
much oil on their hair that a vest is only good
i1r one evening on the piazza.
nan in Cleveland broke his thigh in kicking
of a ,oot 1t is not stated whether bis wife was
talking to him at the time about coming home In
that condition.
a youne Alabama lady on being told that her
lover had been suddenly killed, cried " Oh, that
sr lid gold watch of his Give me something
% rember him by"
a young lady upon one occasion requested her
lover to define love: IS Well, Sal, said he, 1T
e - ne an inward impressibility and an outward
@lloT srIshness."
g SwissheIm, in demanding suffrage for
women, exclaims, /" God and l are a majority
azaiHst thousand such worlds as this" This
Is dest.
.ady p Wyoming complains that notwith-
ing the female suffrage law, hundreds of her
- that Territory refuse to vote unless coaxed
hs gJod-loOking men.
The Bosom Herald calls General Butler " That
q guishe6 sardine, who by careful summer
:rce at Gloucester has learned to distinguish
g ibut from gurrybutt, when the wind is
i east
letter from Southeastern Massachusetts says
Ce-er raj Butler will get very few votes in Plymouth
conn ", for those that read the Bible and those
read the newspapers will find him equally
Co., Ineed in both.
in reply to an exchange that old age is to be
cted, the Boston Traveller says "much de-
rsuls upon whether find it in men or in
ry." To this slight amendment may be
laad- that in men it is to be respected, and in
Poo -ry it is TO be expected.
TIE JoKE-An Illinois man has made seven
r- and gallons of rhubarb wine this spring,
he joke is that he didn't have any rhubarb
90 do it with.
ne Dubuque Herald thinks it knows of the
elanpion harvest-working woman. She drove
che reaper all through harvest, helped her old
IAN all she could and then ran off with one of
ands.
Some of the papers in Germany, in comment
NJ upon affairs in New York, made a funny
Mistake. They thought " Tammany ring y
e~ns g tam many rings, - and so printed it. A
Berlin correspondent Gays the blunder was a nat
ural one, for owing to the habit of profanity
anong Americans, many of the Germans call US
ne latiOn OF" God damns.''
4 man who married a buxom Irish girl greatly
CD me horror of his mother aud sister made the
Lowing defence: sE If I married an American
g.rI must have an Irish girl to take care of her
FisHISG FUR BAss-A QUEER HAUL.-A few
cays since, while the steamboat City of HnrLforc
vis lying at Pratts ferry, waiting for the arriva
oi the small boat from this city, the second mate
Ought be would improve the time by fishing fol
30 ne got out his lines and hook and bait
made everything ready-lighted cigar, and
i1g ms lIne-Into the water, sat down patiently
ait the result. On board the boat is a youno
red boy, one of those amphibious Kanakal
ame 20 oan Francisco from the Sandwich
l. H
uds, ana eventually turned up as boat hand
me Csty of Hartford. Like all of this am
lious race, he can remain long time unde,
Jls -ater. He took it into his head to play
joke upon the mate; and, divesting himself o
Ls clothes, he jumped into the water on the on
poste side OF the boat from where the mate sat
hog fully but dreamily awaiting a bite.'
Presently that official was startled by "a strong
aud long pull at his line. His sIumberine
- lsiopened wide, his breath came fast and thick
- ne thought he had captured one of the bigpes
OF ne - big'' bass which abound in the riVer
He tempted to pull in his hook, but it resistee
al bis e6orts Then he thought he would
O. play'' the fish for little while and 40 h,
would let out few fathoms of line, and tber
draw in again. This was repeated several times
until finally the boy, thiaking he had carried tn
JOKE ar enough, held on to the line and came t,
rIe sarface with it, just at the time the mate
wi-h bigger eyes than he ever exhibited in all hi
It's 1etOre, expected to land a big fish, and 9
shouted to the men on deck. The establishment O
that of-fsh-al can be better imagined than ex
pressed when he saw the woolly cocoanut hea
and rolling eyes Of the Kanaka emerge from tn
waTes. At first he thought he had caught tn
q" d-[fsh that Victor Hugo wrote about; the
b. die mt know what it was; but finally, as tn
DJy, blubbering and blowing like a porpoise
strgcl; out for the boat, and the laughter or som
Of the hands who were in the joke rang in hi
ear ie acknowledged himself "sold, }" and treatet
Ell ~ md This gOod story is id every particuIa
O rae ons.-Hartford Times.