The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-03-09
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

All duVeTUleeIlenb VI Coo Ah'Oh 80
winds up: Patients who have once
taken it can take no other" A candid
confession is good for the sold. liu 8vd 80
The will of defunct California doc
tor directs that his body shall be dis
sected, and the skeleton shall be well
wired together" and placed in the
medical college, in case his wife shouldn't
want it as mantel ornament.
When the treble singers up to the
Union Church at East Litchfield, Conn,
sing, " Shall we gather at the river"
says local reporter, fellow would
think he had got hay rigging on top
of his head loaded with bobolinks. a<kR.
The population of Colorado has fallen I
off very materially since 1861. owing to
the migration of miners to other States.
1t was reported to be sixty thousand in
1861; but according to the recent census
it is thirty thousand.
A,recent visitor at Pittsburgh writes
" Pittsburgh is as dirty as ever. You
get the dirt at every movement. You
eat it, you drink it, you breathe it; l
don't know how Pittsburgher would
do without his regular supply of coal
dust"
Philadelphia has bound man over
for trial OH the charge of stealing an
umbrella, and its police are in earnest
pursuit of another offender, vaguely de-
scribed as the swindler with the terrier
dog. 40
The latest novelties are evening shoes
for ladies, which are made with gilt
heels and very great deal of gold en-
hro,I tho incfayN op6 rrilt
to the toes.
Honors are being thickly heaped upon
the head of Kaiser Wilhelm. The last
and most touching tribute to his worth
and greatness is his election as honorary
member to the Charleston Is. C.) Ger
man Schuetzen Corps, and the appoint
ment of committee to inform him of
the happy event.
A mammoth fog whistle, which has
! Just been completed at Portland, Me-,
for the lighthouse department, is the
largest ever manufactured in the United
STATES, and probably in the world. 1t
is an 1S-inch whistle, weighs some $50
pounds, and will require steam-boiler
of so horse power to furnish the steam
to blow it. . mas ..
An old farmer in the neighborhood of
Forestville, Conn, who is dubbed by the
Hartford Courant ga cheerful idiot"
was shedding wood last Wednesday
morning. Having on heavy load it
stuck fast in crossing the track of the
Hartford, Providence and Fishkill Rail-
road. So the old man unhitched his
oxen and deliberately marched off home,
leaving the heavy load of green wood
| ha n1y orI ,,,o1,.ner
no effort to warn the passenger train
due in a few moments-of its danger.
The train came on, "Down brakes"
screened the whistle, and the train and
its passengers fortunately escaped in
Jury yet,the locomotive struck the load
of wood with sufficient force to knock it
and the sled clear off the track. 1t was
lucky for the stupid teamster that he
was Just then out of reach of the train
men. ..
The trustees of certain church out
West, having fallen in arrears with the
minister's salary for six months, de-
termined to pay him up " in trade"
They waited on him, and after the fam
lily had gathered around, the spokesman
said: "Mr. Brown, we have a very
pleasant duty to perform. We have
come to remunerate you for your labors
in our church for the last six months
in fact, we have brought your salary.
Mr.. Jones, Just undo Mr.. Browns salary
and hand it to him." Jones did as re-
quested, and handed Mr.. Brown the fol-
lowing articles: Ten feet of stove-pipe,
: two papers of corn starch, one felt hat,
three kegs of varnish, one paper collar
four palm-leaf fans, and two bundles OF
bed Stats. At the sight of these Brown
became raving mad. The trustees were
; elected through the window sash, and
all the family Immediately vanished.
1t may be an old joke, but it is a good
one, told of an old clergyman at the
East, who has the most unbounded faith
in Watts's hymn. A mischievous son OF
his thought it would be good joke tc
test his fathers faith. So he took an
old song and pasted it on one of the
pages of the book, over hymn, so nice
? ly that it could not easily be detected
At church, on Sabbath morning, ths
minister happened to open on that very
page, and commenced to read,
, sold Grimes is dead"
There was a sensation in the audience
He looked at the choir, and they looked
: at him; but such was his faith in Watts
4 hymns that he undertook it again, com
\ mencing with the same line. There wa
. another sensation in the audience. Look
4 ing at the choir, said he Brethren, i
! is here in the regular order in Watts
: hymn-book, and we will sing it any
! how" ..A--2 -1'a--I -
r Whatever may be the sentiments o
) the rest of his countrymen, there is a
least one man in Washington who can
d not complain that the guests of on
n newly-constituted Admiral are not re
r ceived with ceremonious honor. On re
r ception day, it is currently reported ths
! Chinese servant in the employ OF Ad
/. miral Porter, having to attend the dool
# estimated the rank and consequence G
3. the visitors, according to Chinese Gus
II tom, by the size of their visiting card
g Of course the one-inch- -by-two bits {
Is cardboard were thrown into the basks
a with silent contempt. Presently the Ga
collector presented his monthly bill
'.I Yellow is the royal color'in China Wit
~ profound and lreversntial- saaSans th
k alrhond-eyed frinctionary received Sth
It long, yellow slip of paper, and, conhdeI
e that he was conducting pririce OF th
le t-blood-royal, ushered the collector int
1t the presence of the astonished famil,
9, 1t is said that the genufexions of th
8, awe-struck Asiatic surpassed anythin