The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-01-20
OLA PODRIDA.
-MeWsde 10 sormenting the Dstroitsrsfor
lheir sins, with his Grip Van Winkls." flH

would burn well.
The Kentucky Supreme Court has settled
the fact that dog roaming on neighbours
premises may DO killed with impunity-or a
shotgun. If more convenient.
"A Jersey paper Is trying to encourage emf
grafton to that State by asserting that there
are more pretty GIRLS in one OF It's villages,
Burlington, than 10 any other town in the
Union.
The Rocky Mountain Herald learns that
"Tim Browns sage hen pegged out with Bill
Weeks last Monday, leaving nm three children
to care for"
Young men think it is so nice TO have a
time. To get drunk and howl is to them beat
itude They laugh at 1t when it Is over, and
modestly allow that 1t was n pretty big drunk.
The ways or society are curious. Two la
dies who reside near each other on q New York
avenue have exchanged calls and invitations
for ak years, and yet have never met person
ally.
"A small town in Kansas had three divorces
in one day, which resulted In the place being
named New Chicago.
"A novel excuse OF Hartford woman for
stealing was that she wanted the goods to
make Christian presents, and could not afford
to bay them"
Treasurer Spinner thinks that II the Gov
eminent does not pay better salaries. the time
will soon come when none bu. rich men and
thieves will be able to hold high public Offices.
The popular impression is that that time has
already come.
The meanest man In Philadelphia, the
other day bought copy OF penny paper from
small newsboy, rendered HIN a counterfeit
twenty five cent note, aud received twenty -four
cents in change. The poor little victim did not
discover the imposition until too late to remedy
| it.
Mrs. RuSs!es, /. mother il Detroit, won't
to church. leaving at home four children with
nothing but q box Of matches to play with,
that she can remember. She won't do it again
till she has another house and more children.
The Memphis Acoldnche tells how Mr.
Wilson elopsd with Miss Pledge, from that
city, though her father had promised her to
another man. Unless Mr.. Wilson keeps the
Pledge longer than most Of those who take it,
the other man will find her at liberty in q
month or 20.
Tho Cincinnati Enquirer remarks casually
that There 10 about one Of tho country papers
In Ave hundred, not more, that contains q
grain Of intelligence Of the slighest value 10
the human racel" What ought tho four hun
dred and ninety-nine rural journals in the i'm.
mediate vicinity Of Cincinnati to do to that
dyspeptc editor?
The educated goose who runs the Michigan
Univereity Chronicle writes In favor Of big
national school. Tho establishment OF such
. university" he says, would bring far great
or glory upon the Republic than building q
Pacific railroad" 1t would be a nest OF politi-
cal jobbery. like almost every other institution
that has been hitched on to the Government
and the crop Of glory to be harvested from the
investment would not pay mill on the dollar
Chicago modesty against the world. Elk.
Governor Bross to the Chicago Press Club al
it's banquet said the managing editor of the
greatest newspaper in the world would cit in
his chair IN Chicago, and he believed that the
man WAS among those that sat before him.
"A gentleman OF decided Teutonic cast OF
countenance, having knocked for long time
In vain ut the town clerks door at Middletown
Conn, anxiously inquired Of bystander wha
was the matter. He was politely informed
that the Office was closed, but II anything im
portant was wanted tho house OF the cleri
might be found. "Oh," said the Teuton, III
is nothing, only wanted to get married."
Mcclellan need have no fear of being for
cotton. His great digging achievements ar,
well remembered, and New York fair recent,
afforded his Tammany admirers chance x
vote him pipe. 1t may not be long enough
to fill his shortest trench, but being meerschauu
bears sufficient resemblance TO his military
powers to make it an appropriate gift.
An Indianian threatened suicide and went
down cellar for the purpose, az he informed
his wife. Soon the report or . pistol wal
heard from the subterraneous apartment. HI.
wife kept night on knitting, and after awhile
the man came up stairs swearing that the
woman hadn't got any feeling.
"A young man, itineratiug in Indiana, found
in the Kitchen OF house in Elkhart mn objec,
chained to a chair. having a body, limos, feel
and hands like q human being, but with head
and face like monkey. The woman Of the
house owned that she was the monsters moth.
or, but carred the idea that they kept it Sc
cret from the pubic. How pleasant il all the
mothers OF monkeys could keep their offspring
az close as this
West Union, Iowa, has q lawyer who fol
lows the formal phraseology OF legal documents
to-well, q considerable distance. Drawing NJ
complaint FOR assault and battery, recently
he made the following representation of facts
land plaintiff further alledges that, at saic
time and place, the sail A. g. said to complain.
aut, If you come another step near r. Ill kicl
YOU to he'll winch complainant verify belevet
Inc would have done