The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1871-09-01
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WILLY CARLETON.
fReoa at I'll. Meeting Of ia1 RseA.eaa Pu1Ii.a4,' 4.

THE EDITORS GUESTS.
BY WILL NJ CARLETON.
Read at the Meeting Of the Aiehigus Publishers As
ISOLATION July, 1STI.l
The editor sat in his sanctum, his eOuntenance fur
His mind at the bottom of business his feet at the
His arm chair an elbow supporting, his right hand
His eyes on his dusty old table with different doc
There were thirty long pages from Howler, with
underlined capitals topped .s.,.,-
There were lyrics from Gusher the poet, concern
And stray gem rom PIodder the farmer. aescri
There were billets from beautiful maidens. and
And his best leader hitched to q letter. which en-
| quired il he wrote it, or who?
There We're raptures Of praises from writers Of the
And one OF his rivals last papers, informing him
he was fool;
Cannonizing some harmless old brother who had
There were traps on the table to catch him. and
There long staring Eads'' from the city. and money
With added. please give this insertion and send
| you're ball when you're dOne;''
There were letters from organizations-their meet
| ings, their wants and their laws
Which said, Can you print this announcement for
the good Of our glorious causec''
walls, parties, and shows.
WaapRG IN aSss With at Ps Pile give us notice.
In short his eye took the table. and ran over its
There was nothing it did not encounter excepting,
perhaps 1t was cash.
The editor dreamily pondered on several ponder
On different lines of action and the pulling of diff
ferent strings;
Upon some equfvical doing, and some unequivical
duns;
On how few Of his numerous patrons were quiet
prompt paying ones; ,,,
Wordy encouragement lent.
| And had given him plenty of council, but never
On vinegar. kind hearted people were feeding him
Who saw not the work they were doing, but won
dered that printers were sour;
| On several intelligent townsmen. whose kindness
That they kept an eye his business and told him
On men who had rendered him favors, and never
pushed forward their claims,
So long the paper was crowded with locals con-
taining their names;
per TO roll;
And finally contrived to be making the blood of an
editor boil;
And so ONE may see that his feelings could hardly
be said to be smooth,
fen en- emotions to soot5e; f'"'' -''' W.
He had it; for loi on the threshold slow and reli
And a farmer invaded the sanctum, and these are
the words that he said
"iood mornin, sir. Mr.. Printer: how is your body
Pm glad your home; for you fellers is aiays run
Your paper last want SO spicy nor sharp as the
But 'spOse when the campaign is opened, you'll
be whoopin' 1t in to 'em more.
That Teller that's printn' the Smasher IS goin for
And the folks said this mornin at breakfast, they
thought he was gettn' the start.
But hushed them right up in a minute, and said
told Iem believed you was tryin' to dojust as
well as you knew;
And told 'em that some one was sayin', and who
ever it twas it is so.
But; layin' aside pleasure for business, I've
And thought would see If you couldn't make
an editor outen of him.
My family stock is increasin while other folks
I've got right mart family-it's of the old
There's Icabod, Isaac, and Israel, workin' away
They do bout as much one good boy, and make
things go on like charm.
There's Moses and Aaron are sly ones, and slip
But they're torsble steady one thing they |
There's Peter is busy inventin' Though what he |
And Joseph is studying medicine-and they re both
There's Abram and Albert is married, each work |
in my farm for myself
is laid on the shelf
''The rest of the boys are all growing 'cept this
little runt, which is Jim;
onten O. him
He amt no great shakes for to labor though I've
labOred With him great deal.
And give him some strappin, good arguments
But he's built out Of second-class timber, and
Exespsiz his sppesfte oniy, and there he's As good
keep him a carryin' luncheOns, and film and
And take him among the potatoes. and set him to
And there's things to be doin' helpin' the wO-
men indoors;
descriptions of chores |
But he don't take to nothin' but victuals, and he'll
So thought It would be good notion to learn him
the editors trade
His body's too small for farmer, his Judgment is
But I thought perhaps we could he maxim an edi-
at amt much to get up papsr-it wouldn't take
he could feed the machine, am thinkin', with
good strappIn' fellow to turn
And things that was once hard in doin', is easy
enough now to do;
your arrang cement right through
i used for to wonder at readin', and where 1t was
But tbs most of it made by maehinery-I can see
1t all plain enough now.
And poetry too, is Conducted by machinery of diff
Each one with gauge and a chopper, to see to the
1 hear a New York clairvoyant Is runnin' one
sleeker than grease,
And a-rentin her heaven born productions at a |
couple OF dollars apiece;
An since the whole trade has grown easy. tWould
be easy enough, I've u whim,
III yen was agreed to be maxim an editor Outen of
JIM" |
The editor sat in his sanctum, and looked the old
Then glanced at the grinning young hopeful and
mournfully made his reply:
"Is yopI SON small unbound edition Of Moses and
Can he compass his spirit with meekness, and
~ his heart in his c6eeks -''-N ga
he n h0ti
Gsixpence weekf
Can he conrtsonsly talk to equal, and beat
Can he keep things in apple-pie order and do half
quick and reliable touch
And be sure that he knows how much to know, and
know how TO not know too much?
docs ne kn9T now 70 SpHE up his virtue and put
Can he carry gentleman's manners, within a
Can he know ALL and do all, and be ALL with cheer
fullness, courage and vim?
If SO, we perhaps can he maxim an editor outen of
The farmer stood curiously listening. while won
der his vlSage o'erspread;
And he said, Jim, guess wen be goin'; he's
probably ont of his head
But Ioi the rickety Staircase another reliable
tread,
And entered another old farmer these are the
words that he said:
Good morning, Sir, Mr. Editor, how is the folks
I owe You for next years paper; thought I'd
come IN and pay
money, here;
shut down lendin' it to him, and then coaxed him
TO try Il year;
And here ia few little items that happened last
week in our town;
thought they'd look good for the paper, and so
just jotted them down.
And here Is basket OF cherries my wife picked
expressly for You,
And a small bunch of flowers from Jennie-she |
d th0't she must send something too.
You're doin the politics bully, all of family
agree;
Just Keep your old goose-quill nappin, and give
'em good enc for me.
And now you chuck full of business, and
wont be takin' your time;
I've things of my own must tend tO-gOOd day,
sir, b'lieVe will climb
The editor sat in his sanctum, and brought down |
his ffst with a thump;
"God bless that old farmer" he muttered ahe's q /
regular, jolly old trump"
And tits thus with our noble profession, and thus
it will ever be still;
There are some who appreciate its labor, and some
who perhaps never will.
Bat in the great time that is coming, when Ca
briefs trumpet shall sound,
And they who have labOred and rested shall come
from the quiyering ground;
hen they who have striven and suffered to teach
and ennoble the race,
Shall march at the front of the column eaco one in
his God given place,
As they march through the gates of The Civ with
proud and victorious tread