The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-09-15
sCrssORINGs.

N iiltlil wiz tiab ototohbE ohCs
being asked what he did for living,
replied that he "kept hot house.
Lord Herbert LIE Roy st. Ainsley,
of New York fashionable society
fame, is earning an honest livelihood
as photograph colorer.
A colored doctress, in st. Louis,
gave patient a prescription with
10l ingredients. The funeral was
held as soon as the shroud could be
made.
A lady in Jasper County. Ind. aged
seventy five, wants divorce from
her husband, aged seventy-e!ght,
because he spends half his time in
running about with the girls.
Why was Jonah, in the fsh's belly,
like a fashionable young lady? Be-
cause he had more of the whalebone
about him than was good for him.
Cincinnati is tapering OFF. After
having had explosions OF nitro -gly-
cerine and gas, she has just had an
explosion of kitchen range.
A guide to Indian music has been
published. Now we shall expect to
see the Red Cloud Waltzes and the
Spotted Tail Schottisches.
The Rochester Democrat says wom-
an is world without an equator.
And what is quite as remarkable, in
every latitude she is without paral-
lei.
Roman malaria is now the fashion
able affectstion among young ladies
who have been to the Eternal City.
Coughs are no longer in vogue.
Innnmerable cobblers are daily
drained in honor of a shoenaker's
daughter in Needsmore, Kentucky.
who is reported to be the prettiest
girl in the State.
The frst-born son of the Crown
Prince of Denmark was baptized at
Copenhagen ON October 31st. The
little Prince was named Christian
Charles Frederick Albert Alexander
William.
1t must have been consoling for
sick soldiers on low diet in the mill
tary hospitals during the war to sing:
"When this Cruel war is over We
shall meat again"
A man in Waukegan, No., celebra-
ted an uncommon drunk q few days
ago by chasing his wife up an apple
tree. throwing his children out of the
windows and drowning himself in a
well.
Somebody says that the giving of
the ballot to women would not
amount to much, for none of them
would admit they were old enough TO
vote until they were too old to take
any interest in politics.
Mrs. Mary Arnold died in Ithaca
recently. at the age of one hundred
and oRe years. She leaves eight
children, forty-one grandchildren,
and thirty-two great-grand children.
a lady in Bath, Me-, has just had
returned to her by the Postoffice De-
partment letter which she mailed
eight years and six months ago. Il
was covered with postmarks, but it
is difficult to trace out its journey
ings.
What is the annual corn crop Of
Kentucky asked foreign tourist Of
a kentncian. i cannot Exactly say,
replied the Kentncian, 'but I knew
its enough to make all the whisky we
want besides what is wastedin bread
4 Prusian soldier, standing guard
in the streets of Versailles, was re-
Gently wounded in the calf of the leg
by a pistol-shot discharged at him
from behind. For this the city OF
Versailles had to pay him :, 600 francs
damages.
a young Michigander placed his
hand on the muzzle of his gun and
his foot on the hammer, saying to
those present, 'This is the way Jim
Fairb banks shot his hand to pieces,
and there was report of gun. and
great hole through the middle OF
mis- hand.
Chicago modesty against the world.
Ex-Governor Bross told the Chicago
Press Club, at its banquet, that the
managing editor of the greatestnews-
paper in the world would yet sit in
his chair, in Chicago, and he believed
that the man was among those who
sat before him.
During the services OF prayer
meeting at Fall River, Mass, mes
senger came to summon an III. D.
who was present to attend little
boy who appeared to be suddenly
attacked, after a short nap, with
symptoms of paralysis, to the great
CONSERVATION of his parents, as one
hand was placed against his head,
and he said he could not remove it.
The doctor hastened to his relief.
and upon examination, it was found
that the hand was firmly fastened
with chewing gum.
A laughable thing took place at a
revival meeting somewhere in Missis-