The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-10-15
RI ,rning Star and Catholic Messenger.
TKW ORLEANS, SUNDAY. OCTOBER IS. 1871.
WIT AND w1sDoM.


would like good offer, sir.
A Kansas City journal calls young ladies'
seminaries cougar refneries."
How may men always become fore
handedi By doubling their fists.
How to make q hot-bed-Go to sleep |
with lighted cigar in your mouth.
lobster never comes ashore without
great risk of getting into hot water.
Some girls are like old muskets-they |
use a good deal of powder, but will not go
off.
Why is Westminster Abbey like fem
deri Because it contains the ashes of the
crate.
Nursing revenge is like nursing q young
older it grows the sharper
tts quilts.
Wien you hear man say, Life is but
Il dream," tread on his corn and wake him
Rp. Life is real.
If brooks are, as poets call them, the
host joyou things in nature, what are they
murmuring" aboutf
When is the most dangerous time to visit
n the countryf When the trees are shoot
ne and the bullrushes out.
Darwinian.-When does seamstress
khase "our general ancestorf When she
makes an apron cape run).
Hate not opinions for being contrary to
khine own. 1t is not certain but that thou
&hyself mayest be in the wrong.
Friendship stands in need Of all help,
eare, confidence aud complaisance, and if
hot supplied with these, it expires.
"I thought you told me, doctor, that
Smiths fever had gone off" "Oh, yes,
lbut it and Smith went off together"
All great things are done little by little.
Atoms make worlds. The greatest for
tunes consist of farthings. Life is made up
Eof moments.
Questions to be answered at all, and never
that they should be answered coolly and
with reason.
1t is Que of the innumerable absurdities
|of pride that we are never more impatient
LOT direction than in that part Of life when
We need it most.
Cargo Extraordinary.-A vessel arrived
at Liverpool on the 10Th ult., having on
board a hundred cases of cigars and two
cases of measles.
Great efforts from great motives is the
best definition of happy life. The easiest
labor is burden to him who has no motives
for performingit.
Destroy the passion for tale-tclling.
Lisp not word that will ipjure the char
acter of another, and, as far as you are
concerned, Islander will die.
More men grow old from having nothing
to do than from overwork. The running
machine will keep bright for years, the
idle machine will soon rust out.
Dean Swift said: ait is with narrow
souled people as with narrow necked bot
tles-the less they have in them the more
noise they make in pouring it out"
In chasing au annoying dog, the other
day, q Portland man ran against clothes
line, which widened his mouth and extract
ed two teeth, and he didn't catch the dog.
A wag seeing door nearly off it's hinges,
in which condition it had been for some
time, observed, that if it should fall and
kill somebody, it would probably be hung.
A man counting young woman, was in
terrogated as to his occupation: am a
paper hanger on large scale" he replied.
bill-poster.
crowd of boys, and mentioned having been
in five engagements. "That's nothing
broke in little fellow, my sister Sarah's
been engaged eleven times"
A Judge in Indiana threatened to fine
lawyer for contempt of court. 81 have
expressed no contempt for the court" sale
the LAWYER; son the contrary, / have care
fully concealed my feelings"
A lover who had just parted from hi
"Her last words fell like great rocks intt
the sea of my sorrow, and splashed the
bripy water into my eyes,"
An old lady reading the market reports
for the first time, tumbled upon the quota
ton, "Coffee weak" and exclaimed
"Well, do declare, if they don't weaker
coffee now before it is parched."
We are sometimes apt to see those peo
pie proud who have done the meanes
things; whereas consciousness of havin
done poor things, and shame of hearip
- them, often makes the composition we cal
pride.
There is moral taught by the followin
conversation, which needs to be learned b
many fathers. Said little four-year oil
child, " Mother, Father won't be in Heave
with us, will he Z" "Why not, my child
because he can't leave the shop"
"To obtain sweet milk )" said the vetera
farmer, Greeley, laying down his pen, an
gazing placidly into the face of his Inquire
"To obtain sweet milk, feed your COW
twice day on sugar-cane, and be sure
keep the calf away from the mother viii
teething."