Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1871-08-19
HUMOIS OF THE nNY.

should they I've?
How much cloth is rCILWrd Ten make
% spirit wrapper
The Pope says "Nll j, lo.,l!' Why
don't he advertise it!
Colurcd brides in Carlo 20 hlushirg tn
the altar IN muspuito-har wells.
\ dugthat can play ON the piano lsunc
0i the attractions ut Atlanta, ,,i,
The line OF business some strong
minded ladies take up-thc m'SCu line.
Onc ought to have dates at ones fin
gers ends, seeing they grow on the palm,
The question is raised whether one
can 60 round the world uu a through
ticket.
The reason why the ancient Eritons
we're So formidable in battle Is that they
wcrC lict men,
If Missouri boardcrs elbow up the
lludlady, she rctaliatCS by putting tor
rcdocs in the hash.
Two M~ississippiauS foolishly tried IL
persuade a mule in the way he should
90. one leaves a large family.
The Duke Of M%ontpcnsicr, Il Spanish
Journal says, ais as bold MS a plcheian,
vain as Il noble, rich rs Il king
Whatever Midas touched turned into
gold. In these days, touch a man with
gold and he'll turn into any thing.
4 baby who kisses his mother and
tights his father, may he said 10 he par
thai TO his ma and martial to his pa.
a. girl in Wisconsin swallowed forly
percussion caps. Her mother RETAINED
from spanking her for fear of an cNplo.
sion.
Dawson, ia, "bcts her pile on a pop
lar tree nineteen feet in circumference,
and a pcrsimmon sapling two feet in di-
HmnteT.
The Turks have built It terrible iron
,lnd, and called it Mukatdcmihoighcr.
1t IS hoped no II will demand anything
higher than that.
Are dose bells ringing for fire ." in.
CURED Simon of TibcriuS. "No, inc
decd" answered Tibc, "dcy abgot plcn-
ty Of fire, and dc bells arc ringing for
water"
An agricultural seeker after know
ledge asks. "Where can wool be prolita-
bly, grown ~ II used to be very profit
ably grown in Virginia, but at present it
is not a safe investment t. Richmond
Enquirer.
"Why, Uncle Johnny" said his friend,
"can You afford to cat shad at - cents a
pound ?" "NIinC Colt" said Uncle
Johnny triumphantly, ~ can put him
in mine ice chest and keep him till he
gets shoapcr."
The Chicago Common Council arc 90.
ing to salt Lake City. and an exchange
says it is understood that it is their pur-
pose to strike 4 decisive blow at poly
gamy by distributing Chicago divorces
among the Mormons.
\ Georgia paper tolls of Il Columbus
lady who has not entered Il dry goods
store for five years. A careful CXami-
nation of the mortuary records of that
town show, that the cstimablc old lady
has been dead precisely five years.
That was a far-secing ph]ilanthropist
who lately died in Boston and left a bro.
vision in his will that a ten-CCnt stamr
should he sent to the Secretary of the
Treasury to he put on interest till the
amount should pay the national debt.
a Mr.. Farley was struck by lightning
in his house nCar Richmond, Va, du.
ion13s Lin, o'Si ~ "t 'lsIll' ms WIG
Lrn,nht Va N"ule, "I" INC I1ll
G ,o"S, ., niii ~ CONSCIOUSNESS Whch ms
'"" "N'' III 'oIiIIei'' "I last !
\ Mississippi negro was recently set
upon by a party in disguise and KIT
kluNed. On being questioned, he said
ms H.. Is. friends were of the ColOrCdp per-
NuaSlni' lie was asked why he thought
So u smell EN-, massa," was the short
ana convincing reply.
Maysvillo, Ky, "chap" went into a
drug store i'm that place and rirkG ~"
Il bottle of hair oil, thinking it was per
ilile' lie saturated his handkerchief
ana lapelS Oh his coat with it, and now
wants 10 know which is the best kind OF
soap Tor removing grease spots.
4 Spirited widow" has boon cuiiycn.
ing Wadcsboro, Nc. After bitinr and
scratching several relatives, she was AR.
rested, but quickly "chawcd mn" the
Judge, annihilated the Constable with a
'ueltly SUNG INK bottle, and tlOOrcd
the Jallor with a vigorous kick.
The Louisville Courjcr-Jourual uuon
hearing that Mrs, d. A, Dadd of lava
has had three children in rourtncu yoars
exclusive of eight pairs of twins. an oI
which are living, remarks thai if i.
strange that Dadd. tho daddy Of thcg,
little padds, can see uotbju,r srduriiv(
in suicide. '
Kansas CITY. Mo-. has a hIarL smith
who has a wicked son. Tho blnrtynr;tL
when spoken TO about tho trcmnnI"n,
muscle of his right arm. noipts +" M.
hoy and saws: "NIoro muSrIn was JcynI
orcd ON this arm cnrrrr,inr tb"t irLo,..
nal bow than ever niyina ihc hon,m,a,
brought torth.U i7
,Vo,,ann
ha ~ nvS,epI BeltIcll'ln frequently
mas business at the White House, has
rraphinr IN Washingtou iunui ,in, y. ~ =,
The condition Of tbo Prnn;iiontH "I ~
tailed colt nrovious IN locl l. '"nr'
net BAG. II tho rcnort il 49, "m a. GO" !,
The colt. no hnvs his tirtcct ,nr =, ~
Branch otherwise hn rirrL,,ng ,i"Ens,
for Washington 'i'No'
Irornn @rI
AIunS "nu eAPell,hcc ont opera
IL,, WIZ GollnlcIGeu 10 TAX oil and put
IuTm Tells hcHr housewife, was asked
ny rs US uIIileI, before commencing
- r =, - wv ~ N"htuu
or small. "Well," replied The old vet