Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-09
BreYities and Leyities.

~ A sale of ready y-madc collins at auction
took place ut Lincoln, Nebraska, recently. a
black walnut article, with silver trimming brought
s25, the purchaser being aman whose wife was
very sick.
w A man stopping his paper wrote to the
editor: " think folks ottent to spend their mum
nv for payper, mi daddy diddent, and everybody
sed he was the intelligentest man in the country,
and had the smartest family of boiz that ever
dugged tatus."
1y The New York Democrat diScredits tho
theory that tho employment of female telegraph
operators will tend to lessen the amount of proan-
ity that finds its wey over The wirea, and ad-
vances the opinion that when women can venti-
late their feelings by wigglng their fingers, they'll
swear Us much us men.
as- Tho. most agreeable of companions is a
simple, frank man, without any. high pretensions
Of an oppressive greatncss,-who loves hie, ana
understands the use OF it; obiging alike at all
hours; above all, of golden temper and stead
fast as an anchor For such one, we gladly ex-
change.the greatest genius, the most, brilliant
wit, the profoundest thinker.
ns- A Washington letter of Saturday 'nys; {;
For the first time since the institution was or
eanizcd, Republican Congressman from the West
camo out with their voice and in the. Hoaae
yesterday, AID denounced the greedy clamOr CT
the Freodmcn's Bureau fyr more money. one
member commented fon the reluctance with which
the officers Of that institution let up there hold on
the pubi:c crib, and spoke pretty fOrcibly ON the
way the bounty appropriations of Congress for
coloreu s.l,iiers were made away with. The re-
suit vas, that the House reduced the appropria-
tious of this bureau just ono hundred thousand
dollars"
msy- The average cost Of n Congrcssman's tu-
neral ID ST 500. We don't know what the cost
of buryng n President would be, but the people
of the United States would cheerfull5 make All
experiment if Grant would consent TO immediate
himself to please tie people. They wouldn't
grumbe at the expense either
;rs,- Life is look of which we have but one
edition. Let euch days action, as they add their
pages to the indcstructible volume, he such us
we shall be willing to have an assembled world to
read.
ms- A dog missing for twelve days was lately
found at the bottom of a 70 foot we'll in Michi.
gan. The owner thought something was the
matter with the water, and, sent b man down
to clean tho we'll. The dog is recovering.
~" Nothing costs less. and nothing purchases
rs much, US kind, respectful, courteous and
agreeable treatment of others.
naS> When M Arab women intends marrying
again after The death Of her husband, she goes
the night before the ceremony to pay visit to his
gruve There she kncels and prsys him not to be
oAcndcd-not to be jealous. AS, however, she
feels hc will be offended or jealous, the widow
brings donkey laden with two goats skins filled
with water. The prayer ended, she proceeds to
pour water upon the grave, to keep the husband
cool under tho irritating circumstances about to
take pluce, and, having well saturated him, she
then departs.
Mfy- An old man dicd in Boston recently, and
when on his death bed hia friends asked him if
lie didn't feel ,ls though he was going to Heaven.
He said he was troubled with doubts, as be had
always been an Abolitonist, and had inyriab!y
voted the Radical ticket. Poor old man.
ne nice young man pat sheet round him
to scare Dutchnan. The Teutonic gentleman
says: l shust jumped out from dc corner and
vim der COST all dc time. 1 would vip him if he
was Who'll graveyard" Some one asked tho
vopps MIN what allied his black eye, and he
said bo had received bad Iews from Germany.
es- A man about SO years old, who repre-
s.nts himself as sou of Lord Byron, and who
claims to have been an officer in the United States
army, has been travelling in Belgium as the agent
of n patent washing machine. He must be very
practical scion of poetic sire.
my- Why is the earth like q sack board Be-
cause the children Of man multiply upon the face
of it.
nsy- A Providence paper exclaimG, with char
oeteristic grace, ga year ago to-day WAS just such
another day as yesterday was-only more so.'
This. reminds us of the old lady who directed the
attention of her husband to o pair of twins, re.
marking MS she did go, "How much those two
children do look alike, especially the ono this
way."
The Augusta ConstiinhOnalist Says Foreign.
~. wishing to remit their friends on the other
s;de of the water can got drafts in any amount:
:. ,he Merchants and Planters National Bank
This Bank cannot be too highly commended fol
tbs sp;rit of accommodation it evinces to serve
tho public.
e~ An Indiana girl when asleep recites Greek
hut when awake is utterly ignorant of that Ian
.no,, This is an Indiana mode of snying sh;
snores.
ry Mr.. Walt Whitman is defined by Mr.. al
,ornon Charles Swinburne as strong winget
soul with prophetic lips, hot with the blood-beat
oe sonv.n Mr.. Whitman will bp excused if h
desires TO 90 out and kill himself
ns- Good resolutions are like ladies who fain
IN a,lecture room-they should be carried out.
ms- Twenty-Five million dollars is the sum Sc
bv the calculating correspondents for Great Bri
tain TO pay into Uncle Sans capacious pocket
] Gov damapes done by the Alabama.