The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-07-15

BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.

Robinson Crusoe was born with
an ardent longing for the sea.
Some might call it notion of his.
but it was an ocean which he was
a long time in getting over, if he
ever did get over it entirely. This
longing for the sea manifested it.
self at a very tender age, though
it is hard to think of Robinson as
very tender at any age. his career
was so very tough. When they
attempted TO teach his infant lips
to pronounce the letters Of the al
phabet, they could never get him
beyond the c. A and B went well
enough, but when he got on the
C there he stuck, a strangely pro-
phetic Indication Of what his future
life was TO be. When be cried it
was on G sharp, and when he got
cold his bark was on the G.
As he grew older, he yearned
constantly to be on the water, to
the great disgust Of his father, who
was on the whisky. He used to
sit for hours at time on a canal
bridge, near his fathers door, and,
! as the boats passed under, imagine
be was blowing the mighty deep.
1t was so much easier than plowing
out corn. He hadn't q mast to
climb, but in the absence of that
, be would "climb" a younger bro
ther, or any neighbor's boy who
wasn't quite his size
But he sighed for other climbs.
He was irresistably Inclined to
ramble, so much SO that he rambled
in his talk, his ideas being all
abroad.
When at last he announced his
in eution to 60 far sailor. his fa-
ther endeav.rcd to dissuade him
from it. why said the old nj an,
with tears in his eyes and cho-
king voice, why go for sailor
when there are SO many other
people to go for who have more
money!
Then he pointed out the disad-
vantages of life on the OCEAN
how he couldn't be in early Of
nights. or take long rides over the
bills before breakfast, or go buggy
riding with the girls (unless he
could borrow the captains gig. or
go to the beer gardens Sund VS., or
come home when it rains, OF go
squirrel hunting, or attend wart
meetings, or vote, unless he hap
pened to be at one or the other of
the "Poles," or receive line from
any Of his friends, with the solita-
ry exception OF the Equinoclial
line.
He tried to show how much bet
ter off he would be to pursue some
steady employment on land, if it
wasn't anything more than steady
ing himself by lamp post. He
pointed out the perils Of the sea-
told Of the 'old salts who had been
drowned in it, producing its salty
flavor, and OF the difficulty a green
hand encounters in wading ashore
when storm arises.
He cited as a warning the case
Of another son who, agoinst his
fathers warnings and expostula-
tons, ran away and enlisted as
soldier in the Mexican War, where
he was killed by falling from the
mast head while charging bat
terry.
Young Crusoe was so deeply af-
fected by his fathers words that
that he made up bundle that very
night, and runaway to sea-how it
was hims elf.
He met with numerous adven
lures and disasters before he sue
ceed in getting himself shipwreck-
ed sufficiently to make out q nara
tive fer general circulation. The
first vessel he embarked on was
wrecked in Yarmouth Roads. it
being SO dark and stormy they
c,uldn't tell one Road from ano-
lher. After that the vessel was
captured by pirates, and all hands
; sold in slavery to tue Mools. the
Moors being ignorant OF the Four
teenth and Fifteenth amendments.
Refusing to accept these amend
ments as constitutional. and scorn-
ing any "New Departure Crusoe
took his departure in the old man
ner-he ran away.
We next find him on board a yes
sci sailing for Guinea. They have
a miscellaneous cargo OF ,rinkets,
toys and trifles, which they propose
to exchange with the Inhabitants ts
of Guinea Tor gold dust, e.ephants'
teeth, guinea hens, guinea pigs,
&C., also any able bodied Africans
who in their eagerness for the bal
lot ale ready to leave their homes
and work few generations for
nothing.
They voyaged prosperously for
many days, but at length a great
storm arose. If l recollec, right
: it caught them when they were in
seven degrees of Masonry, twenty
two minutes and fourteen seconds
, to prize fight, P. NJ, north lati-
, tude, with the wind blowing north
, east by east by south-sou-west by
north -norwest by east by west. 10y
, iimminy, this is too much sailor
! lingo for me!
1t was too much for Crusoc as
, we'll. The tornado increased in
, violence, and the waves rose high
er than he had ever known them
, TO be, even when gold was $50 The
vossel woa wracked IN on ;slond