The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1871-03-16
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Why are the birds melancholy In
the monsing2 Becansesthefr little
bills are over dew
Why is a clergyman like loco
motive? Because You are to look
out for him when the bell rings,
Why is a solar eclipse like a mo.
ther whipping her own child? Be
cause its hiding of the sun.
Even at this late day Vienna
paper grayely. speaks, as ether for
eign papers have done, of Daniel
Webster the. exponder Of ehe
American Constitution, and the as
thor OF an excellent dictionary"
The first daily paper printed in
Virginia was published 1850, and
the subscription price per annum
was fifty dollars.
The talk Of the towR-the Eng
lish language,
A Western editor in announcing
the demise Of his paper says, The
brilliancy OF our career has only
been equaled by its brcvitv, aud
the lack Of business management
has only been exeelled by the lack
of business ITSELF
a'ome Broolllynite is making a
business Of stealing clocks from
merchants offices. Being a thief
of time, it is to be supposed that
his name Is Procrastination.
A kiss, says a French authoress,
gives more pleasure than anything
else in the world. But Punch de-
clares that woman evidently never
experienced the childish rap.
ture of descending the parlor stairs
by sliding down the banisters.
Pittsburg at night reminds a,
stranger Of shell with the lid off,
An Illinois editor, in advertising
his office for sale, announces that
he intends to peddle shoestrings.
A travelling pianist attempted to
whip an Illinois editor and when no
got through lie had only ono ear
for music.
A PRiSrER's LirASr.-aFrom
want ofgold, from wives that scolf,
from maidens old by sharpcrs sold'
preserve US.
From fathers eneers. mock auc-
tioneers and woman's tears-deliv-
or us.
From 'tinging iies, coal black
eyes and babies cries-proteet MS.
From sunny eoats, protested
notes and lealy except us.
Prom creaking doors, a wife that
snorcs and all such boses-defcnd
US.
From making "pi," which annoy
the temper try-oh, save rs.
Every young doctor must get on
if he only has patients.
A gentleman who has recently
lost an eye begs to intimate that
he has. now a vacancy for a pupil"
That man who knows the world
will never be bashful, and that man
who knows himself viii never be
impudent.
When were the first sweetmeats
made? When Noah preserved pairs
in the ark,
The geologists have determined
that it took 22s,oo0OOO years to
bring the earth to its presents tforma
tion and condition.
A smart young lawyers clerk,
hearing it stated by a lecturer that
''man is merely a machine," re-
marked, II suppose an attorney
may be called sReing machine
A Western schoolteaeher re-
ccived the following note from one
of her scholars as an exeasc for
tardiness. Baby cross Biscuit 10
Bake Had no Baken powders the
dog up set the coffee pot the cat
liked in the Milk and got up late
Excuse.
The attention Of pliilanthropists
is respectfully called to the follow
ing case. A dandy swell in New
York is in a fix. His pants were
made so tight for him that he cant
get his boots on, and il he puts on
his boots first, he cant get on his
pants. This isa case Of genuine
distress.
AIy lovin wife: line comm ONE
next week, and have forgive you
for jawin me. lie come on the 7
o'clock franc and shall stay ONO
hereafter and Fri 20 be an altered
man. I want peace and so do yew,
why shouldn't We luv each other as
We used ter when we first jined tc-
gether in the wholly bands Of mad
lock; i've jined a temperance so
ciety, but if yew jaw rue again for
comm ome I'll wallap yew like CITY,
for we must have pcese as grant
Sos.
The man who meets ones re-
marks with a "hddlostick," clearly
wishes to do violiHs TO ones feel
ings.
Paradox rs it may seem, people
who are inclined to be Fat are gene