Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-04-27

A Cleveland girl broke off her en-
gagement with young man for the rea-
son that he snorcs in his sleep. The
court wants to know how she found it
out.
Making people happy, says Mr..
Beecher, is neither small nor an unim-
portant business. AS I regard good ma
ture as one of the richest fruits of true
Christianity, so I regard the making OF
people round about us happy as one Of
the best manifestations OF that Christian
disposition which we are commanded to
wear as garment.
Talking about mean people, that
Troy is not SO slow. A man there left
thousand dollars under his pillow, and
when the honest and urbanc chamber
maid returned it to him he figured up the
interest on it from the time she found it
until he got it back. She would not pay
it, and he is going TO bring a suit against
her and attach her wages.
They have those intelligent chaps in
the telegraph offices. a member Of the
Legislature tclegraphcd homo to his FAM
ily to meet him at the depot with his
horse, but the telegraph operator thought
"hearse would sound better, so he
changed it. When the man arrived home
he found funeral proccssi' II ut the de-
not, and his arrival alive caused great
disappointment.
Alta New York wedding reception,
yo....s lady accidentally set her back
hair on fire. When it was cxtinguishcd
she said she was glad it wasn't her best.
The most eccentric species of practi-
cal humor that we have lately heard OF
was recently displayed by a man living
on the line of the Southwestern railroad,
near Drakcsyille, Iowa, who had taken Il
spite against the company, amused him
self the other day by covering the rails
for quarter of Il mile with soap. a SIM
gle train was three hours III crossing the
creased stretch.
Deacon Andrew Leach, who recently
died at Searsport, Maine, is claimed to
have been the champion church gocr,
having been in his pew 2,59S out OF 2,6cO
consecutive Sundays. Absence from town
was his excuse for missing the only
two Sundays his seat was vacant in fifty
years.
At recent wedding at Delhi, \. Y,
the four grandparents and four of the
groat-grandparents of the groom were
present.
"A Miami county, (ohio), settler OBJ
iects to proposed railroad il: that region
| in these words: 'Tne people is gone wild
on this ere railroad queschine. Horses
that is now wuth SiJ wont be wuth S. u
he'd. Vaughn makers will starve to deth.
Oats wont be wuth nuthin, and we'll
have to quit raisin on 'em. Coon skins
wont be wuth cent, and The bellerin
steam waggins will skeer all game out OF
the country,-Tll sell my forty akcrs, and
git for Arkansaw if you don't stop this
ERE railroad
Horace Greeley writes in the Golden
Age that she believes in the doctrine ol
future punishment" What, then, must
be the feelings of the venerable patriarch
when he ruminates upon those dark and
mysterious emanations of his peculiar
mental condition entitled "What know
about Farming Poor man, and SO DID,
too!
A stern parent in Maine, is ssueing his
daughters lover for S9o-value of lunch
cons, horse feeds, fires, lights and rent OF
front room while counting.
"A Covington lady gave her child hair
oil for cough, by mistake, but it work
ed just as well.
"A peddler, calling out al old lady tc
dispose of some goods, inquired if she
could tell him any road on which nc
peddler had travelled, as he would like tc
to speculate with some old spectacles
"Yes," she replied, the road to Hcav-
en-"
"A spirited girl observes that to hel
mind the women who want female suf.
frage because it will cause division III
families, must be a precious meek lot. ~
woman Of any pluck can pick quarrel
with her husband without waiting tc
split on votes.
-"It is settled principle, your honor, .
said a lawyer, "that caalses always pro-
duce e0ccts.'' "They always do for the
attorney" blandly responded the Judge
"but I've sometimes knowna single CASE
!, to depriue client Of all his effects" "'