The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1871-11-02
A Newspaper story.

n NeWSpapcr Story.
Some fcllow-a collector for n
newspaper and other periodicals =
lately throw up bis commission, and
rent back tho unpaid accounts with
notes which the spirit happened tc
lay hold on, aud tboy were present
ed in a tangible shape to the world.
As there are living pictures met with
here aud elsewhere wc make ex.
tracts. The collector says:
TO Ike Editor :-Sr-You fur.
nished me "a your collector, with a
list Of one hundred and seventeen ow
ing subscribers. | have called upon
one hundred aud four of them, and
have tho houor Of payiug to your or
der twelve and one half cents, being
the amount To which you are entitled.
| return you tho list numbered from
one hundred to one hundred and SIX
teen, aud now give the reply to each /:
No. lisa minister. He s,ys in
the first place, he never got one bali
OF tho numbers, Ga lie according to
the postmaster) and in the next place
your jokers column was too scurril-
Gus --Besiles he knows by the tone
Of your editorials that you drink. Hc
wants nothing more to do with you,
never wants TO hear from you again
No. 2-ls in jail for debt. lie has
not seen n half dollar for u year. Says
he would pay with the utmost cheer.
iulness, il he had the money. Had to
borrow n shirt 10 put on last Sunday
Admires your paper wonderfully, aud
hope. you will continue s,nding il to
him. He wishes you to take bold
stand in favor of the abolition OF i'm.
prisonment for debt, as no thinks il
would DO u very p,pua: move with
gentleman in his situation. Sends
his best respects.
No 3--ls a doctor Says your pa.
per is beneath tho notice of gentle.
man. Says he would DOT give
for cart load. Says that you insert
ed au article rejecting upon the pro
iession Only wishes he cou,d catch
you would make you SINE Il
-. Is going to pursuade overy one
that takes yourpaper to stop it. Cuss-
ed the bill, and says you may got i,
the best way you cap.
No. lis 40 old maid. Says you
are always taking fling at single la
dies OF an uncertain age. Wouldn't
pay you it she was rolling in wealth,
aud you hadn't enough to buy crust
Of bread. Sent all tho papers she had
back q month ago, and she says now
she has sent them and don't owe you
anything. She says she is even with
you and intends to keep so until the
day ofjudgmeut.
No. 5-Is gambler. Says he was
completely cleaned out last week at the
races. Couldn't accomm odato his
with half dino if she
was starving. Likes your paper tol-
erably, would like it better il you pub
ished more races, AMI if You OCCASION
ally gavo an account ofa cock fight
Hopes you won't think il hard of bim
for not paying it now, but has pros.
pect of having some loose change as
he is after rich young greeuhorn
who arrived here last week. viii pay
your bill out Of the pluckings.
No. 6--Is magistrate Sworo he
never owed you cent, and told me
was q low rascal for trying TO swiudle
him 10 suck bare-faced manner. Ad.
Vlsed mo to make tracks in little
less than no time, or he wolld get OUT
warrant for me as common cheat.
and have me sent to prison. Is by
odds the mcauest man l have seen yet.
Never will 20 near him again.
The collector concludes with, "ac
,opt my resignation, aud strike me
rom your list Of agents. l have been
'alled q swindler, rascsl, villain. and
blood sucker. Those are some of the
names thcy think proper to bestow
ipon me. | tricd fighting awhile, sui
s,me Of your patrons like
olazes, but occasionally got licked like
thunder, myself.