The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-05-12
Nasty.
MIR. Nasty Attempts N Ku-klux Enterprise
The Lnmeniable Failure Of the Expe-


We hev four distinct elemence which
go TO make up the sum total NV society
in this immejit visinity, namely Resler
citizens, niggers, carpet-baggerS and
scalawags. The regler citizens are them
which are white, native and to the man
ner born, and witch either served i'll or
howled for the confedrit army; the
scalawags are white natives NV the sa-
cred soil which disgraced themselves
sympathizin' with the North doorin' the
late fratrisidle struggle the niggers are
niggers NV all colors, and the carpet
baggers are unsettled Northern men,
which come here and buy property and
improve it and stay-who are in no ak
kord with the prevailin' sentiment
which is to say who are not Democrats.
Joe Bigler is scalawag, Pollock is a
carpet-bagger, and Elijer Lubbock, the
Postmaster, is Nv course a niger, and
these are fair types Nv their class.
The Corners hez alluz felt justly irri.
tated against these last three classes,
for combine them and give them a
chance and they RELY hev majority
in the township. 1t took the most vIg-
rous and vociferous countin this spring
to keep Issaker Gavitt from bein beet
for Assessor by a niger named Joins,
Notwithstanding that our Challenger
committee all stood at the polls
with clubs and kept more than fifty Nv
EN- from votin at all. The closenis Nv
this eleckshen and other causes NV irr-
tashen determined us to clean out the
entire bilin NV EN-. We coodent live
with EN-. They had got Justis NV the
Peece and a Constable over at CARROTS
town, and the niggers witch workt for
us wood sue us when we refoozed to pay
they woodent paternize Bascom, and
stubbornly retoozed to vote the tikket
we give EN-. We wanted no tronble
We wanted EN- to 90 peaceable, and
when, after we give EN- warnin to leave
the country, and they retoozed to 90, we
improvized Temporary Ku-Klux-Klan,
NV which | wuz yoonanimously elected
Chief. With my accustomed vigger |
called a council and selected the ground
onto witch we wuz to operate first. The
north road leadin to Garrettstown wuz
settled for five miles out with niggers,
carpet-baggers and scalawags excloosive-
| ly, and it wuz resolved to clean that
out, and summond the Khan for active
dooty.
| We presented gorgus aspeck. We
WIZ clothed in long black robes with
white skulls and cross-bones profoosely
stitched on all over em-our hats wuz
NV the Confedrit SLOUGH style, with the
same cheerful insignia onto EN-, and
our faces wuz kivered with masks onto
witch wuz the letters Nv the Order
- X. X. X" We wuz armed with rifles,
shot guns and knives-each man hevin
NV course a bottle. We wuz all mounted.
and that cussid idee NV mountin was the
okkasion NV the failyoor NV the expedi-
ton, so far ez ! wuz conserved.
| am not n horsman-l despise a
horse. | am afraid Nv EN-, and the
broots, with a sagacity hard to account
for, know it, and take advantage NV it..
| wantid Bascom's mule, witch is a
stiddy goin animal, but he wuz goin
to ride that hisself, and | was compelled
to 60 to Pollock and hire boss Nv him.
Cusses on that boss cusses on Pollock
and espeshly hot cusses on Joe Bigler
When Joe offishusly offered to saddle
that boss and bring him out for me, |
instinctlvely felt felt that there wuz
trouble ahead.
He brought her out, saddled. She WIZ
a tall, gaunt animal, seventeen hands
high, hard bitted, hard-trottin. and with
no more idea NV gentle amble or gal
Top than hog haz NV Sunday. She
trots-a hard, ugly trot-with the bit
atween her teeth, and 700 kin no more
stop her when she gifts agoin than 700
Good crowd of Cross Readers when
l.. l. IL
Il mounted her, however, and struck
out at the head NV the compny. | he'd
on a Confedrit saber, and notwithstand-
in the fact that he'd to hold on to the
name wv my warlike steed with one
hand, to keep on, managed to ride
out with tollable marshel air.
'Pride goeth before fall" We he'd
ridden four miles when | observed a
restlessnis on the part NV my steed
witch | didn't like. She wuz shyin from
one side of the road to the other-she
wuz histin up her hind legs snortin es
though she was possessed. At this mint
Issaker Gayitt sejestid the propriety NV
a halt for refreshments.
"Certin," sez | "ef | kin ever get
this cussed mare to stand still long
enuH Whoa, 700 broot =
| he'd .jist got my bottle out and had
got it uncorked, when that infooriated
animal commenst a series NV gyrashens
SIGH ez the world never witnessed afore.
She wood elevate her hind legs-then
paw the air with her fore legs-then try
to lay down, and all this with runnin
accompaniment NV the most feendish
snortin. wuz compelled to relinquish
my holt on the bride, and seeze hel
name to hold myself on, but she kicked
more than ever.
Here wuz dilemma. | coodent hold
on by grippin the name with one hand
any longer-and my spare hand wua
employed in holdin the bottle ! Good
ent cork the bottle and put it in me
pocket, for in the melee | he'd lost
the cork, and to put it in my
pocket uncorked wuz to lose all it
preshus contents. Never wuz in SIGH
strate afore. Eff | held to the bottle
, shood be throwd-ef | stayed on the
: Infatuated animals back, I'd lose my
likker. The boss decided the matter
for me. Takin the bit in her mouth
she started down the road on the keen
: est kind NV run. She made mile in