The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-07-06
MUMORS OF THE DAY.

Sturgeon thinks some nllnlstcI'
would make good marty rs--thcy arc
so dry, they would burn well.
A railroad conductor, being asked
why they locked the stove, replied
that it was" to prevent the fire from
going out"
"But these hacks are dangerous.
We might get the smallpox"
"You'vc no cause to be afraid of my
coach, mum, for I've 'ad the ind
wheel waccinatcd, and il took bean
tiful."
"NVhere are you going!" said a
Scotch gentleman TO a thief whom
he observed crawling through a hole
in his hedge the into his garden,
"Back again." replied the thief, as he
hastily retrcatcd.
A deacon in Illinois objected to the
organ purchased by hi' church, and
when called upon to close he scrv-
ice with prayer, said; "CoN on ne
machtne! If it can sing the glory of
God, 1t can pray too, so ca0 on the
mnchWe.'
The Illinoisians arc discussing COW
milking, some favoring the fore and
aft and others the diagonal" way.
One patriarch believes that "cvcry
man should be left free to milk ac-
cording to the dictates Of his own
conscience.
"What is the annual corn crop Of
Kentucky" asked q foreingn tourist
of a Kentuckian. 81 cant exactly
say" replied the Kcntuckian; "but
| know it's enough to make all the
whisky we want, besides what is
wasted for bread"
"John. Rogers nine chHdrc" oad
one at Me breast.
"Wcrc but nine, as make it," said
Harry. "Therc were ten, as | figure
it up" said his guest.
COR there would not have boon one
to carry"
why don't the great men OF France
stir? Why do they remain notion
less and cold while our bleeding
country is ruincd:" asked an orator
in Paris, the other day. because
they arc cast in bronzc," answered
voice in the gallery.
Josh Billings says: Most people
decline to learn only by their own
experience, and | guess they are
more than half right; for | don't
s'posc a man could get a correct
idea of molasscs candy merely by
letting another fcllcr taste it for him.
A Paris paper relates the follow
ing anccdotc attributed TO King
william. A court sculptor, some
days after the Kings accession to
the throne, begged the favor of build
ing and carving his tomb. After
having examined the plans, His
Majesty accepted them. 81 will
engage TO have it done in ten years,
said the artist. '' No hurry" " was
the reply. 81 will allow you twice
as long
lIarper's Monthly tells Ola grand
church in Chicago, which boasts q
splendid organ and three-thousand-
dollar choir, but rather dryish preach
ing, within which the following lines
were found scribhlcd on the fly
leaf of n hymn-book:
could old King David but for once
To this good church repair,
And hear his Psalms thus warbled.-
Good gracious! how he'd Swear'
And could st. Paul but Just pop in,
From higher scenes abstracted,
And hear the Romans thus explained -
BY George! he'd run distracted!'
\ man who was not very careful
III personal appearance tells this
stCry Of himself: 81 went to the drug
store early one morning for q dose
Of morphine for u sick friend. The
night clerk objected to giving it to
me without the prescription, eviden-
tIy fearing l meant to destroy myself,
Pshaw,' said |, do | look like a
man who would kill myself" Gaz-
ing at me steadily for half a moment
lie replied: Il don't know. Seems
10 NE, if | looked like you, | should
be greatly tempted to kill myself
The following anecdote was given
at The Edwards Reunion, in illustra-
ton of the observation-disclosures Of the
great jonathan Edwards: At one
time he rode after the cows, and a
little boy very respectfully bowed
ard opened the gate for him. "Whosc
boy arc you, my little man ?"Noah
Clark's boy, SIR" On his return with
the cows: the same boy appeared
and opened the gate for him. Ed
wards thanked the little fellow, and
asked: "Whose boy arc you?" The
same mans boy | was quarter Of
an hour ago, SIR"