Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-07-06
The Gospel of Correct Living.

I AM sometimes lost in delight as / read
the confident and generous directions OF
some man who has solved the problem of
correct living and given his gospel to the
world. How much better for any imagined
Millennium will that be when we conform
all our vile bodies to his body; what a
sweet uniformity when we all eat and
drink and sleep and dress and exercise ex-
actly as he has found it best for him. The
process of natural selection has been car
ried quite far enough. Let US be of one
mind and one diet; bran of one bran, flesh
of one flesh. We shall all go to bed at one
hour, and that right early-except the edi-
tors of morning Journals, who will have
a dispensation to die early. We shall all
rise, like bed of crocuses in the spring,
at a very early hour, and all together.
Sickness will not excuse us, for there VIII
be no excuse for sickness. AT the same
moment we shall all be engaged in taking
an air bath, a sponge bath, a dry rub; and
then, dressing according to tabular set
of figures, furnished by the central authori-
ty, showing the proper weight OF each gar
ment according to the temperature indi-
Gated by the thermometer, we shall all
take brisk walk of eleven minutes. We
shall all saw wood for half an hour, if we
have no lifting machine, and then sit down
W uI6dhldSl, W COllcAob Va 1lolA Va Ia
tered water (free from all animal sub
stances) and two quarters of dried apple,
or any other fruit in season, to be eaten
with the utmost cheerfulness, and even
with little moderate hilarity. A dried
apple without hilarity is to be avoided.
After breakfast, we are to go TO our va
rious occupations with a clear mind and
an elastic frame. By 10 o'clock we shall
be quite ready for dinner. This meal is
to be varied every day in the week-dif
ferent kinds of bran bread, different kinds
of cracked wheat, different kinds of dried
apples, and other sorts of fruit which do
not contain q certain kind of acid which
is hostile to the standard stomach of the
reformer whom we follow, TO be eaten
with great deal of merriment (no matter
who has died or who has gone into bank
ruptcy), to be eaten in large quantities.
In fact, we are to eat all we want at this
king meal, with one restriction. We are
to leave off hungry and hilarous. Our
dinner is not to cost over eight cents, ex-
cept when you dine with a friend, and he
pays the bill. After dinner you may take
a siesta of twenty minutes and nap in your
chair; but do not lie down and sleep with
your mouth open in fiy-timc, for animal
food is absolutely prohibited. These
| directions may seem unmportant I;
but nOthlng Is trlVial 10 al uuulOI-
tai man, as you will feel when you go TO
your business with springing step, a
sparkling eye, glowing cheeks, fire in
every limb, exultant blood in every mus
| Gle, and the consciousness that you have
no butchers bill, grocer's bill, or milk.
mans; that you owe no man dollar, and
can keep all the commandments just as
easy as YOU can wink. As you walk along
the street, you occasionally jump into the
air four or five feet or leap over the
boundary fence and back, and laugh aloud
At supper it is best for you to eat moth
ing, except your own cheerfulness. But
if nature will have something, try little
brown bread, raised without yeast, slowly
masticating it, thinking about butter, anc
being careful to call up no image OF ex
cessive laughter, for this is the time tC
begin to tranquilize the mind and prepar'
for self-satistied slumber.
OF course it must be understood that al
you eat must be carefully weighed. Thi
not only guards against excess, but it in
duces a careful and methodical habit o
mird. When you go out to dinner, yoI
, will carry your own scales with you ant
weigh your own food at the table. 1t i
, important to notice that beans, uncon
. taminated by pork, may be eaten on Sun
r days and the 4th of July.-C. ID. Warne
in Independent.