Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-03-10
The Deaf Aunt and Wife,

and | don't know what evil genius
prompted the wickedness which
perpetrated towards my wise ant
ancient relation.
"My DEAR" said l to my wife OF
the day before my aunt's arrival
"you know aunt Mary is coming to
morrow; well, forgot to mention :
rather annoying circumstance Will
regard to her. She is very deaf
and although she can hear my voice
to which she is accustomed, in its
ordinary tones, yet you will be obi
ged to speak extremely loud in or
der to be heard. 1t will be rather
inconvenient, but l know you vii
do everything in your power te
make her stay agreeable"
Mrs. - announced her deter
mination to make herself heard if IN
her power.
| then went to John N, who
loves a joke about as well as an,
person | know OF, and told him to
be at the house at 6 p. m., the fol
lowing evening, and felt compare.
lively happy.
went to the railroad depot with
a carriage next night and when !
was on my way home with my aunt,
l said:
"My dear aunt, there is one rath-
er annoying infrmity that Annie,
(my wife) has, which forgot to
mention before. She is very deaf,
and although she can hear my voice,
to which she is accustomed, in its
ordinary tones, yet you will be obli-
ged to speak extremely loud in or
der to be heard. l am very sorry
for it,"
Aunt Mary in the goodness of her
heart; protested that she rather lik-
ed speaking loud, and to do SO would
afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove Upon the
steps was my wife--in the window
was John N, with face as ut
terry solemn as if he had buried his
relatives that afternoon.
81 am delighted to see you,"
shrieked my wife-and the police
man on the opposite sidewalk start
ed, and my aunt nearly fell down
the steps.
"kiss me, my DEAR" bawled my
aunt, and the windows shook as
with the fever and ague. | looked
at the window-John had disappear
ed. Human nature could endure it
no longer. l poked my head into
the carriage and went into strong
commissions.
When l entered the parlor, my
wife was helping aunt Mary to take
off her hat and cap; and there sat
John with his face buried in his
handkerchief.
Suddenly-"Did you have a pleas
ant journey?" went off my wife like
a pistol and John nearly jumped to
his feet.
"Rather dusty" was the response
ina war whoop, and the conversa-
tion continued.
The neigl bors for blocks around
must have heard it; when | was in
the third story of the building
heard every word.
In the course Of the evening my
aunt took occasion to say to me:
GLOW loud your wife talks!"
told her deaf persons talked
loudly and that my wife being used
to it, was not effected by the exer-
ton, and that she was getting along
very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said softly:
Calf, how very loud your aunt
talks
eyes," said I, call deaf persons
do. You are getting along with
her finely; she hears every word you
say" And | rather think she did
Elated at their success ut being
understood, they went at it hammer
and tongs, till everything upon the
mantlcpicce clattered again and ]
was seriously afraid of a crowd col
lecting in front of the house.
But the end was near. My aun,
being of an investigating turn OF
mind, was dcsirous of finding out
whether the exertion Of talking was
injurious to my wife. So
"Doesn't talking so loud strair
your lungs?" said she in an unearth
ly whoop for her voice was not Sc
musical as it was when she was
young.
cit is an exertion,'' shrieked m,
wife.
"Then why do you do it? was thu
answering scream.
'Because-because-you can
hear if l don't" squealed my wife
''What" said my aunt, fairly ri
valing a railroad whistle at thu
time.
began to think it time to evacu
ate the premises; and looking
around and seeing John gone, l step
ped into the back parlor, and ther,
he lay fat on his back, with hi
body rolling from side to side, will
his fist poked into his ribs, and {
most agoniz.d expression of coun
tenance, but not uttering sound
l Immediately and involuntarily az
sumed similar attitude, and
think from the relative position o
feet and heads, and our attempts t.
restrain our laughter, appolex
must inevitably have ensued, if