Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1871-09-28
A Plea for XantIppe.
THE "FAT CONTRIBUTOR"


THERE was an unfortunate female who,
name is synonym for "scold," whom til
world may have judged too harshly, ant
recalling her. am constrained to write
plea in her behalf
Who can tell, At this late day, what al
noyances, irritations and insuffcrable We,
ations resulted in rendering Nantippe til
scold she was? She might have been, an
undoubtedly was, all amiable young We
man when socrates married her. AS goo
humor implies sort Of easy Indifference
to the cares of life, she must indeed hav
possessed good-naturcd attributes or sh
would have inquired and found out how
I poorly calculated Philosophy is IT, supper
a family on She probably knew vc1,
little Of Socrates, except through rcput,
ton, when he asked for and obtained he
hand. She saw his name mentioned yer,
frequently in the papers as the Great Phi
losopher. She had heard him quoted a
authority in philosophical matters; hat
known half of Athens to flock togcthc
for the purpose Of listening to his talk
and had perhaps drowsed through one o
his lectures herself.
Her vanity was naturally gratitied ut be
coming tho wife of 1.-THE Greatest Phlos
opher in the World" rs the lyceums iuva
riably billed him. Perhaps. in her girlist
romance and ignorance, she thought hi
possessed the philosophers stone she haC
real about, which transmules every hing
not excepting grcenbacks, into gold. o.
she might have pictured him as some time
filling the Presidential chair, and she mis-
tress Of the White House, as Horace Gree
ley, 81. H." and other well-known phi
losophers who had aspired to that exalted
station.
What waking up it must have been
when she discovered what sort OF msn
the greatest philosopher in the world real
~ was, and what al Improbable lire OF
business he pursued! AS u classic though
practical Greek remarked, it was "all talk
and no cider" 1t might have been most
excellent philosophy that he gave the pco-
pie, winning much applause, but it rarely
brought bread.
II, overcoming his repugnance to any
action that would appear mercenary, he
allowed his hat to be passed around after
one Of his philosophic bursts in the mark ct.
place, some one invariably ran off with
the collection, besides stealing his hat. He
lectured Young Mems Christian Associa-
tons for nothing and found himself, and
travelled around the country on foot at his
own expense, organizing schools in phi.
losophy, thereby seriously impa,ring his
entire philosophical apparatus.
She found that philosophers were gener-
ally out of money when rent became due,
and only prepared to respond to calls from
his butcher and baker with sage and philo-
sophical maxims and disquisitions Clean
clothes they were sublimcly Indifferent to,
and they never were regular to their
meals.
No use to get up good dinner for
Socrates, as no one could tell when he
would be at home to cat it. He washed
very rarely, and let his hair grow long,
greatly to the disgust of Xantiope, who
was q neat woman herself. So much
wrapped up was he in phil 'sophy that he
would only halt dress himself in the
morning, aud he appeared on he street So
often in his stocking feet that the boys
dubbed him "Old Soc"
He would come to his house at late
hour of the night, bringing lot of brother
philosophers with him, and want Xantippe
to get up and cook them supper. On
such occasions she would tell Socrates to
feed them some of his philosophy and let
them digest that.
What wonder that the life she was COM
PEELED to lead resulted in rendering Kan
tippe peevish and cross. 1t would sour
the sweetest disposition in the world, most
assuredly. Had she lived in our day she
might have found an outlet for her ILL.,
humor, as numerous testy and petulent fe-
males now do, on the ros rum; but Wo.
mans Rights were unkno wn in Xantippc's
time, so she vented all her spleen upon her
husband. She would have applied for a
divorce but, alas for the disappointed and
i'll matched ones of that period, Chicago
was not then discovered
She began to make it very warm for him
whenever he came home, and scolded,
fretted and fumed day and night She de-
clared if she were to marry again, and had
to choose between a natural philosopher
and natural born fool, she would take the
fool, sure!
1t is not recorded, believe, who made
the hemlock tea which Socrates was COM
PEELED by his judges to drink as a punish
ment for setting shiftless example before
the Athenian youth, but l suspect it was
Xantippe herself, and 1 can imagine the
cheerful alacrity with which she did it.
The sublime philosophy which sustained
him as he drank the poison was doubtless
equaled by the heroic resignation with
which Xantippe saw him depart Cinci's-
nate Times.