The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-02-10
sCnssORINGs.

An i'll bred man-A sick baker.
Dram-atic-A liquor saloon in thegar-
aret.
An attached couple-A pair Of claui-
shells. =
THE Radicals of New Hampshire have
nominated James Pikefor Governor. 81
The wine crop of Greece has been al
most entirely destroyed by terrible hur-
ricaue.
A ten-year.old boy of Cairo, ILL.,, has
cultivated whiskers four inches long by
stalking great care Of them.
A Detroiter who took flask of whisky
with him on shooting trip, struck y
race track in the superbs on his return,
aud walked around il all night wondering
why he didn't reach home. -
They say the feas are bad in Cslifor.
MIA, and that ladies A. balls carry little
ivory-tipped instrument called scratch
er." Nc wonder every body itchss SO to go
to California. tk@
A lady in milford, Mass, who died on
Saturday, sased her remorseful con.
science BY directing the refundiag Of
tiree dollars, Overpaid her some three
years ago BY . shopkeeper in making
change.
A small miniature Photographic ap-
paratus has been invented which gentle
men can carry around in their pockets, to
take the likeness Of their lady friends at y
moments warning.
A sensible man found the biggest dia-
'mond yet, in South Africa. Refusing an
offer of $4,000 for it, he quit work aud
started for England, satisfied with what
he has.
A man at Homer, New York, mort
gagged his farm to pay express charges on
package OF counterfeit money, and
when he saw sawdust in the box, sued
the express company to get his money
back.
A London girl has had the audacity to
steal an infant, make believe it was her
own, arranging all the aeconchment cere-
monies with good eye to dramatic effect,
aud then bring suit against an acquaint-
:ance as being its father.
China is rapidly undergoing the pro-
cess of civilization. Beer is made at
Shangai, EAisky distillery is going up at
Canton, and the first hanging recently
came off in that city with great eciat.
NJ. About says of an ayaricious man,
that it had been proved thstia having
kindled his FIRE. he stuck cork in the
ed of the bellows to save the little wind
that was left in them. This beats Mark
Twain's mean man all hollow.
An Arkansas man, sentenced TO oe
hanged, Is in bad way. The neighbor-
ing carpenters refuse to build the gal
lows, and the sheriff don't know how
The prisoner is carpenter himself, and
the sheriff has tried several times to have
him build it. but he says, "He'll be hang
ed if he does"
A reverand gentlemen of Psterboro'.
New Hampshire, has devised practical
expedient for promoting the cause of
temperance By buying out every liquor
dealer in town; and on the first intima-
ton of his plan, 6 new bar-rooms were
Immediately opened
Dir. jenkins, of Sioux City, finding
that his wife preferred Mr. Jones, mag
unanimously gave her and the children to
Mr. Jones care, and himself slit out" for
another spot Simple justice to Jones
compels US 10 add that he gave the de-
parting jenkins $500 and new suit of
clothes.
An American circus company, with a
twenty-six horse chariot, made public
parade In Florence, Italy, few weeks
ago, when the streets were thronged as
fer holiday, and, as the abrupt angle of
some narrow. ancient passage was skillfuI-
ly turned, the crowd gave their applause
as heartily as if to some successful hero
returning from fight.
Another proof of how unfathomable is
human folly has just been furnished by a
workman at Antwerp, who undertook to
eat glass after swallowing its contents
It need scarcely be said that 10 few min
utes the mouth of this idiotic wagerer was
full of blood, and that he was carried to
the hospital in agonies from the broken
glass he had swallowed.
An amusing story is told of Joe JEFF
erson, who could not get check cashed
at Philadelphia bank because no one
could identify him. At last bright idea
struck him, and turning to the teller. he
said ia the we'll known tones of Rip Van
Winkle, "If my little dog Schneider was
here he would know me" This pathetic
little speech brought recognition, and the
check was paid.
Mrs. Esther Morris, that Wyoming fe-
male Justice of the Peace that there was
so much blow about in the papers not
long since, has been obliged to retire
from the bench for season. Itwas a boy
weighing IL pounds. She is believed 0
be the first Justice of the Peace that ever
had such thing occur since the world be-
gan. III - = +. -
ESSAY ON TOBACCO. BY A SMALL