The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-06-24
VARIETY.

oos yoke-The matrimonial. P. s. Some
4 2gard it as a good joke.
6-'y garters are coming into fashion, and
IA lD be decidedly nObby, but pretty high.
.on newspapers call jails - places Of COM
ecepti0n." There is nothing like Boston
nk1t-
h.iister not long ago preached from the
|. e We therefore steadfast." but the printer
d. N expOund from '' Be ye there for break
T.stern editor IN response to a subscriber
EnInbled that his paper was intolerably
as that il is because there is SO much
- you Blasted Hopes " asked lady of
a fbnrian, whose face was much swollen
e1tihche. ' No ma 'am,'' he replied, " but
LASTED toothache."
7na the only woman who never threatened
&lf live with mamma. And Adam was
s. nan who never tantalized his wife about
81 N mother used to cook
= zaltrating the humorous, Professor Lowell
b. an advertisement that caught his eye
81 since - Wanted, by boy, a situation
81 hbg-hOuse. He is used to the business" +"
e1itor of Western paper in his last issue
We cannot exist any longer on fire.
&aple sugar and sheepskins. We bid our
pod bye and offer for sale two hundred
; 3eed potatoes slightly frost bitten"
rs0klyn gentleman took hot brick to bed
u on Sunday night, and in about four
n1ntes a solitary horseman might have
en going down stairs with the warmest
7 that any Brooklyn man ever experienced.
Ae OF tw0-fE-SEr town a pedestrian met a
berseback, crying with cold. Why
Fou get down and lead him? That's the
kesp warm" +" mo-" said the boy ss e
borrowed horse, and I'll ride him if ]
= "a moral taught by the following brief
ssts6n which needs to be learned by many
]. hid a little four-year old: /" Mother.
9t1't be in heaven with us, will hep
' ~ nv child ?'' ." Because he can't leave
IA editor is bothering his head over
Losing problem: If dogs with 10 legs
ltsH % rabbits with 81 legs in fourteen
el b3w many legs must the same rabbits
gskhway from dogs with 80 legs, in Ia
=, alOwing 365 days in the year?
E there?" exclaimed a returned Irish
tea gaping crowd, as he exhibited with
1ri1e his tall hat with bullet-hole in it.
! at that hole will you? You see that if
BEEN lOw-crowned hat, should have
ills4 outright"
Ad <cOtch lady was told that her minister
1-ee. She disbelieved it. Said one: 4" Go
" Enllery and see" She did so, and saw
'tnrI sermon. After the luckless preacher
ne led his reading on the last page, he
Bot viii not enlarge The old lady
1t Eom her lofty position: - Ye Gamma.
:, {or your papers give oot."
Iry iOucaing story about conscientious
y thus related: "a youthful hen found
enn Welding to the vernal instinct, sat
~ C. of incubation was COM
- vIO had laid the egg and
Er4 in slaping and coIoring it.
|aa eng only the broken she'll,
aso said: Alas, my daughter,
] my fayorite eggl' The
= uIcE.y responded Il cannot
ie ! cannot tell lie; 1 did it
~ a.
1dent says that, though |
ss - aaughter Jessie to Fremont
III ~ he wishes of Thomas III. Ben |
welding to take place at his |
q .1 erward carried the notice to
e. 5s- Tie elder Blair, reading
a-a' markell: " This is not tie I
N L reads that Miss Benton |
ot. Permit me to transpose /
II Tel Benton, very emphatic
John Charles Fremont did |
tt0n, sir Jessie Benton mar
femons, SIR
b-- EEE-RoOsters are the pugil-
a % lave no suitable shoulder
s'nke iron the heel. When
gped the hens all march off
80 tuOster Il ne amt haff so bio or
- Foek that wins hen Roost-
Is W.T. DO emmy household work
teW pay enny attensbnn
qB que; lhey spend most ov Their t;n,a
H18 ana - uttlng, and once in I'LL
n worm Which they make a great fnse ,.
#Rg ther wives up from a distsnoo
HHl to treat them, but Just az the ha1,
this eleant cuss bends over nens ans
t4s the word just like man. fo, -" ~.
joss BHLLSss
1# IleT, O a contribution to the Rostor
ls the following story about Gen
80: g While his beard was ar ;ts
! ~ eogering the greater part of his
: ,tfEs hair .Oog, he had his daguerreotyne
t'Ie OF tle professors of the art on
'f1ls aYenIe 1t was q most excellent |
nc ma5e very striking Picture.
Senator'S 70 whom he showed il was
Y NprNln, tier Senator from Ohio, who
4fFouid quiz the General, whose vanity
- he Ioked at the picture very
III Ror n ~ te or two, and then, with a
tst askeS Houston what it was. He
po1't yoa see? Look again perhaps
+ nae q good light Corwin accord
'HEf az II again more intenly than ever,
a al sides, turned it over, and then
E'Fe 1t up. General pray tell me what
19-ston not hsEing the least idea that
r-sqpizzing him, said: why, it is nv
Coswin, giving one of his
Is, which no one can describe or
F-inined: IL thought IL tcas the head
'It@ h io0OiIg hOrse.''i