The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1871-05-03

ktNAA " O9A HAStAOU-6uhlGNho- SSAtAg 80
deed, understand It's being unpronouncea-
bic, therefore always left out; or It's being
an especially inviting aspirate, therefore
always put in; but why the rule Of wrong
should be so unexceptionally adopted, as
Often under circumstances OF extreme
difficulty to cause the pronunciation OF
the unhappy consonant where It does not
exist, aud the omission of it where itdoes,
is a mystery that has cost me years Of
fruilless investigation, and gives me al.
most q headache TO think Of. The fayorite
cOclmeyism Of the Weller school, the
substitution Ofv for!w, and'w for y, has
become comparatively extinct, so ceases
10 trouble me. ','
VIII any one account TO me for q
phenomenon of daily, / may say almost
hourly, occurrence, viz: the manner in
which inanimate objects get themselves
out OF the way the moment there isR de-
mand for their scrvicesg This applies to
everything the very pen with which l
wrote the foregoing passage has sttt
fIroprlO mOta got from my study-table into
the next room, and Is found upon my
dressing.glass, near which L have not
been since 0 this-moniDgl- II l am 60
ing from home fort few days, my clothes
all seem TO he aware Of the intention, and
hide themselves in places where they
never were before; my paperS-usually
most regular in arrangement-Of q sud-
den become tOpsy.turvy; love ditty gets
into an essay on chemistry, and q Christ
mas tale into. the British Constitution.
For the faculty of jumbling themselves
together in inextricable confusion, how
ever, on these occasions, and at the short
est moment, commend nc to the keys!-
they beat all. The scissors YOU have Just
laid down may indeed be found in q book
you have not opened for months; the
razor you shaved with this morning, in q
drawer locked up last summer; and your
gloves and card case have seized the
opportunity Of getting into the deepest
corner OF portmanteau you don't intend
opening till your journeys end days
hence. But all these are nothing to the
keys; there they are, bunch stuck To-
gether in q manner that defies all attempts
at extrication; the large keys have got
into the small ones; the small ones, webs,
pipes, rings, are all spontaneously inter-
mingled with completely Of entangle-
ment that hours OF perseverance, would
not have enabled one TO achieve. should
like, too, to DO informed what Il is that
takes possession Of my pens. am most
particular about them; yet constantly
ind their nibs 10 one Of two conditions
either the form Of letter split up TO the
feathers; or rs sharp, and, for the pur-
poses OF writing, as useful us skewer,
Why, again, do two lelt.hand' gloves
always find their way into the pocket OF
my evening coat, and, in the effort TO &C.
commodatc myself to circumstances,
cause me to appear as though lhad para
lysis In the right? The alternative 10 this
disaster Is, the fate by which l meet a
rural friend Of warm temperament, who
grasps me icrvently by the hand, bursting
my glove up the back, whilst the button
hits the opposite wall. stop not to In
quiro why oil your swell" friends meet
you when, you don't want them, and
never when you do. This is simply the
Contrarity Of human, nature. But l
should like to know why an Individual
be It man or woman-with whom for Rges |
I may not have correspondent, invariably |
Is seized with fit Of writing 10 me at III
same moment as break silence TO him |
or her, our two letters crossing each other |
with an eXaCtuess no pains could insure?
las any one, / would ask, ever yet taken |
up what he thought was.R poker, that he
did not find 1t was q shovel Or was q
pair Of bellows or longs ever yet found in |
any inn or lodging houseg When was |
that enormous stock Of hair.ClOth sofas |
and chairs constructed, which abound
In every one Of the saidinns or lodgings! |
and why are the cushions invariably loose
and their padding composed Of shinglGg |
Who grew the worsled flowers that flour
ishCd there! and what fish ever Inhabited |
those brown shells now devoted 10 ear
wigsI Why Is 1893 the only room ever
vacant at any hotel when / arrive on gar.
con, although there Is not the slightest evi. |
dGnce Of there being any other traveller |
In the house. But why, o why, do things |
and people all get ustray that yotl do
want; and why arc those always en- tvi. |
denee that you don't, and even they dis.
appear when at last when, for once, their |
presence would be desirable? And why
don't things happenings, happen-thats
Il imy belief Is, everything happens, and
lie Is passed in a chronic condition Of
toss'upl-why, | ask, don't things happen
the very reverse Of what they do? And
then another thing would happen; and
that is, that shouldn't have written this |
article; and you wOuld'have lost a great
opportunity Of improving your mind and
enlarging your Understandings Adieu.-
EAgliIh SOcisty.