The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1871-11-09
Young America Grammatical Progress

son Conway hau Deltcf SEM -iof on
of these boys, to give lectures 10 ou
adult. teachers: =a
Editor Constitution-At tic recen
splendid exhibition Of the "Lcc llig|
School," in Greensboro, Ga, class 0
small sprouts, three feet high. and il
prodigious standing collars, got OF
the following specimen Of their pro
grcss in parsing. The audience wa
spcechless, and many hands were Ii
ted in horror: r - ~ E
Tcachcr-Parse "man." 4. ..' ~. =
Pupil-Man is common noun Q
the feminine gender. ,.-..-
qeacher-SN hats that, sir? ] y
Pupil-Man1is is q common noun, o
the feminine gcnder-common, Gauss
he can be bought chcap;s and femi
nine gender, cause he's always go
woman on the brain ); eighth person
cause his>witeaud~ six children conc
frst-isin>the objective case and gov
crned by a>woman.' .S---,Eze5N ,
Teacher --Go to your seat, sir, ant
put a wet cloth, ON your head. go
Teachcr-Next,1 parse s''woman."
pupil-W Woman isva female noun 1oi
the masculine gender. F!>'L:i.!--~
Teachcr-Mcrcy on us! what Go
You say, sir?<< >
Pupil She's 4 female noun Of the
masculine gcnder-mascaline, cause
she wears the brccchaloons and is de.
termined to vote; she's compounded
of cotton, whalebone, starch, smiles,
sunshine and thundcrclouds-is is III
the first person, cause she's always
the person speaking; plural number,
cause she makes more noise than q
dozen parrots-is in the objective case
and governed ly. the fashions.
Tcacher-Sita down, sir1 and rinse
yoar mouthSMith $.prophs'laetic fuid,
Teacher Next; parse "boy." IL
Pupil-Boy is an uncommon noun,
Of the goslip gendepsand female peri
suasion. ~'~' --' :.
Teachcr-Thundcr and blackjacks /!
What is that, sir?
Pupi-Boy is IN uncommon, noun.
of the goslih gender and female per-
suasion--uncommon, 'canse he's hard
to fnlanow,a: days /; Soslin gender,
cause he soon enters the thres hold
OF gooschood J. female persuasion,
cause hos always got the heart sick
about some female first person, big
Ike; singular number, cause there $
nobody but himself; in the objective
case, and governed BY his en- bryo
moustachc, @@Schcidam.. ..Sohlapps and
tho length Of his daddy'S purse. {
Tcachcr-Go home, sir, and b&%le
your feet in mustard. -. .r' =; ...
Teachcr-Parse "girl.''
Pupi! - Girl is an angelic noun, OF
the grccian bend gender, and mascu-
line tendencies. ; - :
Teacher-Savc us from sudden
death! These boys will never be
raised. How is that, Sir? =. -.
Pupil-Girl is an angelic, noun,
'cause she paints her checks and
loves injuns. She's. compounded, OF
cosmetics, flowers, fuss and feathers
is OF masculinc tendencies cause Sic
wears shirt Losoms, paper collars, and
always has her head fill Of boys;
Singular number, cause the boys arc
afraid of. them, and matrimony is
played out; third person, cause she
is much spoken Of; in the objective
case and governed by a gypsy bonnet
Tcachcr-Ncxt; parse .s;corn."
Pupil-Corn is IN uncommon noun
of the ncuter gender. r..
Tcachcr-Blcss my life! Go o.
sir. .- g.
Pupils an uncommon noun
cause farmers have we'll nigh quit
raising it. 1t is used rs an adjcctiv"
and belongs to Tennessee, Ohio anc
Kentucky. When parsed as y nom
il is in the objective case and govern
Cd by cotton. e.. -
Tcacher-Sit down, sir.
Tcachcr-Next parse "cotbn.",~
Pupil-Cotton is = royal noun, !, oI
the starving gender. IS
Tcacher-Iistcn at that =
pupil--Royal cause it is king, (but
only over tho Southern people }
Starving gender, cause it has wei
nigh starved ont the South, in .tht
objective case and governed by lazy
freedmen. s&. -i..s y E%H,@ ...
Tcacher-Next; parse Fashion,
Pupil-Fashion,is tyrannical noun
Of the common gender.
Tcachcr-Catish and bundcrbus
ses! What's that, sir? 2, ..,
pupil-Fashion is q l'tyrannicaI
noun, cause it must be q. obcyel and
laughs at o poor mans purse; com
mon gender, 'cause all people bow to
it; it is compounded Of founccs
amsies, flamsies, ruflles, bubbles,
troubles, rufi'S, cuffs, snutls, bicycles,
giggtes, sniggles, curls, furIs, hairs,
snaPeA Grecian bend, fuss and fcath-
ers. ItIwas onco in the objective
case and7governed by f,ugenic, hu,
Is now in the nominalive case, Jude.
pendent -. .~s..... . =. o.-
Teacher-Go home, sin, anl 60 to
bed. Next, parse 'baby."
Pupil-Daby is an obstrepcrous
musical noun, of the neutcr gender
Teacher-Moses and the prophets
save us from destruction? What d,
you say, you little imp? s.
Pupil-Baty is a musical 'qfss
cause is sings a@soft tune betwcel
midnight and day. especially, OF
cold night lit is nouter gender, 'caas'
it is neither male nor female till it il
big enough 10 wear brcoches. ]
weighs according to size, and meas
ures according to proportions i: