Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-07-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


THE HOME MEIoDIsT The baby.
How TO MARE A FIRE Hor14 Keep It
coaled.
TIE BEST CuRE FOR VANITY BE pho.
| tographed. .
THE man who tore his coat thinks rents
are increasing.
SHE who can compose cross baby is
greater than she who composes books.
IT is loanly here, rs the sentimental
pawnbroker's daughter said of her father 8
shop.
A SIGN iu Grand Haven, Mich, reads
| as follows: "Steme Bote Oils Knext
Bilding." .t. r,rats
| A SHARP young fellow says, "if time is
money" he is willing 60 exchange little
! Of his for cash.
To avoid anxiety in sickness and health,
be insured in the Washington Life Insur-
ance Company, of New York. s.
ENTERTAINING DOUBTS - Rubbish |
Doubts are very far from being center
taining;" they're extremely annoying.
THE most direct method of determining
horsepower. Stand behind and tickle
, his hind legs with briar.
| Do you want to see your wife's smiles ?
Secure her from poverty by policy in
the Washington Life, of New York.
! THE latest marriage announcements
read thus: No cards, no cake, no pres
ents, no wedding trip, no honeymoon, no
divorce. riF ~ .Il.. ,-.
IT is said that all Japanese women can
read, write and cipher. An exchange
says -" In civilized nations men sigh for
them." Obi '.,tt.s b. .3a.. q.
Mn s., is your customer D. man to
be trusted p "I know of no one more
so. He is to be trusted foreyer-he never
I pays" ar.e- Isl IrIss ~
! 1T is said that experienced husbands
can tell when their wives are about to ask
for money, by the way they purse their
mouths. ......-.
! A REvENaBFUL individual, in the exu-
| berance of his rage at some one who had
| offended him, said "I'l have revenge
lFli do something terrible. I'll give mis-
little boy tin horn!" '"
A GIRL, hearing the lady OF her house,
at dinner, ask her husband to bring Dom
bey and Son with him when he came
home to tea, had two extra plates ON the
table for the supposed visitors. t 3D..
A CoRoNER's jury in Allegheny coun.
ty, Pennsylvania, rendered verdict that
"the deceased came TO his death by hang.
4 ing, which was caused by his wife's scold
ing the deceased because he was late to
tea"
"AH, my dear fellow" said an old man
once to friend, al am weak and broken
down with age. l used to walk entirely
round the park every day; but now l can
only walk halfway round and back
again"
THE practice of distillcry hands oi
bathing after working hours in the watts
of whisky, not only ,refreshes and cleans
es the men, but adds to The T" body = of the
liquor" 4 EtiEt. IItH
A MAN in South Hadley, who has Just
| got out of a lawsuit, wants to obtain q
large framed picture of COW, with one
client at the head and the other at the tail
pulling, and the lawyers meanwhile quiet
ly milking.
A CONNECTICUT editor, commenting
upon the fact that a rival journalist il
rapidly cultlvating Il champion bald head
| inquiries: " What's the use of man haV-
ing hair, anyway, when he can fold his
ears over the top of his head?'
ONE of Disraelfs admirers, in speaking
about him to John Bright, said: "You
ought to give him credit for what ne has
accomplished, as he is self-made man. u
II know he is, rctorted Mr.. Bright, and
he adores his maker"
DOES your officiating clergyman
| preach the gospel, and is his conversation
and carriage consistent therewith2" was a
circular from bishop to q church warden
of his diocese. A veteran near by replied,
lie breaches the gospel, but does not
| keep carriage 80
"WHY are doctors called physicians,
maInma?" said a little inquisitive girl to
| her mother, who had just been visited by
one of them. Physicians" replied
mamma, who was seldom at a loss for an
answer, comes from feeseek, as the doc
! tors ride about all day to'seek fees"
MORE people are killed by lightning
than Is commonly supposed. According
to some recently published statistics more
J than 10000 people have been srntten by
! the electric fluid within the past thirty
| years, Of whom 1889 were killed outright.
! The fiery bolts however, seem to- make a
/ distinction on account of sex, for of the
/ $50 killed within the last ten years, only
243 were females.
ACCORDING to the late James Y. Simp-
son, there is single Klanufactory of chic
! roform, located in Edinburgh, which
makes as many as 5000 doses day, or be-
tween two millions and three millions of
doses every year-evidence to what an ex-
| tent the practice is now carried of wrap.
| ping men, women and children in a pain
less sleep during some of the most trying
moments and hours of human existence.
THERE is an old lady, who lives next
door to the navy yard at Portsmouth, in
| New Hampshire, and who has the misfor-
tune to he hard Of hearing. Last Fourth
of July she sat in her parlor, while the
boys in the navy yard fired a salute of
thirty six heavy guns. AS the last sixty
eight FOUNDER went off, the old lady start
ed up in her chair, and called out, "Come
inp
A GENTLEMAN who follows the profess
sion OF school ol'teaching on the Western
Reserve in Ohio, gave out one morning,
as a reading lesson to his first class that
portion of "The Merchant of Venice" in
which the 'pound of flesh" scene occurs
The reading finished, he asked the class
what ShylOck meant when he said, my
deeds upon my head" "Well, said the
tallest boy, 81 don't know, unless he
meant he carried his papers in his hat y
A CORRESPONDENT of the Philadelphia
Post states that in Pennsylvania there is q
criminal and .psuper population of about
$4,000, ninety per cent. of which has been
brought to degradation and want by in
temperance The revenue of the com
monwealth derived annually from liquor
licenses is about $420,0cO, while the annu-
al cost to the people OF the State for sup
porting criminals and paupers, made such
by intemperance, is about $2,520,000.
PROFESSOR PoRsoN, q short time before
his death, was in mixed company,
among which were many distinguished
literary characters. One of the number,
person Of some celebrity, had very
high opinion of his own talents, and
when the conversation turned on some of
his productions, us usual he began to ex-
tol their merits, 81 will tell you, sir"
said Mr.. Porson, "what / think OF your
Poetical works. They will be read when
Shakspeare's and Millions are forgotten"
every eye was instantly turned ON the