The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1871-04-14
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE IN JOURNAL
ISM.

was very smart child at the age
of thirteen-an usually smart child, /
thought at the time. 1t was then that l
did my first newspaper scribbling, and,
most unexpectedly to me, it stirred up
fine sensation in the community. It
did, indeed, and was very proud of it,
too.
was printers "devil," aud pro-
gressive and aspiring one. My uncle
had me on his paper (the weekly Ham
ibal JOuTnGL"), two dollars year in ad-
vance-500 subscribers, and they paid in
cordwOod, cabbages, unmarketable
turnips, and on q lucky summers day
he left town to be gone a week, and
asked me ii l thought l could edit one
issue of the paper judiciously. All,
didn't want TO try! Hinton was the
editor of the rival paper. He had late
ly been Tilted, and one night a friend
found an open note on the poor fellows
bed, in which he said he could no long
Ell endure life and had drowned himself
ia Rear creek. The friend ran down
there and discovered Hinton wading
back to shore! He had concluded he
wouldn't. The village was full of it for
several days but Hinton did not suspect
it. / thought this was fine opportuni-
ty. l wrote an deliberately wretched ac-
count of the whole matter, aud then i'll
we'd on the bottom of wooden type with
jack-knife-one of them a picture of
Hinton wading out into the creek in his
shirt, with a lantern, sounding the depth
with walking stick. / thought it was
desperately funny, and was deusely I'M
conscious that there was any moral OBJ
liquity about such publication.
Being satisfied with this effort, look
ed about for other worlds to conquer, it
struck me that it would make good in
teresting matter to charge the editor of
a neighboring country paper with a
piece of rascality and ''see him sQuirm."
/ did it, putting the article into the
form of a parody on the Burial of Sir
John Moore"-and pretty crude par
ody it was, too. Then Ilampooned two
prominent citizens outrageously-not
because they had done any thing to de-
serve it, but merely because it was nv
duty to make the paper lively. Next 1
gently touched up the newest stranger
the lion Ofthe day, the gorgeous jour
neyman tailoring from Quincy. He was
a simpeeiug coxcomb of the first water
and the "lOudest" dressed man in the
State. He was an inveterate woman
killer. Every week he wrote lushy "po-
etry" for the Journal about his newest
conquest. His rhymes for my week
were headed "Mary in H." meaning
Mary in Hannibal, of course. But
while setting up the piece I was sud-
denly riven from head to heel by what
regarded as perfect thunderbolt of
humor, and compressed it into a snap
ply foot-note at the bottom, thus: ave
will let this thing pass, just this once
but we wish Mr.. j. Gordon Runnels to
understand distinctly that we have a
character to sustain, and from this time
forth, when he wants to commune with
his friends in hi, he must select some |
other medium than the columes of this |
journal"
The paper came out, and never knew |
any little thing to attract so much atten- |
ton as those playful trifies of mine. |
For once the Hannibal Journal was in |
demand-a novelty it had not experien- |
ced before. The whole town was stir |
red. Hinton dropped in with double |
barreled shotgun early in the fore |
noon. When he found that it was an |
infant Gas he called mel that had done |
him the damage, he simply pulled my |
ears and went away; but he threw up |
his situation that night and left town |
for good. The tailor came with his |
goose and a pair of shears but ne des- |
pissed me too, and departed for the |
South that night. The two lampooned |
citizens came with threats of libel, and !
went away incensed at my insignifi- |
canoe. The country editor pranced in |
with war-whOop next day, suffering |
for blood to drink but he ended by |
forgiEing me cordially and inviting me |
down to the drug store to wash away I
all animosity in friendly bumper of
'Fahnestoek's Yermifnge.o 1t was his |
little joke.
My uncle was very angry when he
got back-unreasonably so, thought, |
considering what an Impetus had Civ
en- the paper, and considering also that |
gratitude for his preservation ought to
have been upermost in his mind, mas |
much as by his delay he had so won |
derfuIly escaped dissection, tomahawk-l
ing, libel, and getting his head shot off
But he soNened when be looked at the
accounts and saw that / had actually |
booked the unparalleled number of thir-
ty-three new subscribers. and had the
vegetables to show for it-cordwood,
cabbages, beans, and unsaleable turnips |
enough to run the family for two years
-AaTk' IiSafR. /