Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-09-21
AS AN ApvERTIsINe MEDIUM
MIsCELLANEoUs

1 E~----A9AANAs w u1ACus
In Fond du Lac it is stated that
"Thiss houce is fore sail.''
3 Irving wrote his "Life of Oliver
Goldsmithp in three months.
:, In daily excess of births over deaths
in England is S79.
Only twenty-six Chinese women have
: landed at San Francisco this year.
Thomas Carlyle denies that he Is
writing his autobiography. He ought
! to know. - ~
What is the difference between .
coat and baby? The one 1 wear, the
other was!
The publication of matrimonial ad-
yertlsements IS no longer allowed in
fienna. or s-9 so f..l7, r.. -
'What would make good leading
: article for me to-morrow?'' asked =
wicked editor of a wit. "a halter %
was the sententious reply.
A ruralist, chewing large. purple
egg plant, and plaintively remarkino.
''They don't raise so JUICY melons now
as they did before the war; was a re-
cent Titusviile spectacle.
George Dolby, formerly Mr.. Dicken,
agent, arrived at New York in the
Cuba Wednesday, as agent of the SAINT
ley troupe, the members Of which are
expected by the steamer Russia.
Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)
has purchased. a house and gone to live
permantly at Hartford, Conn.
A New Orleans man, while sitting
over charcoal fire frying some fish,
was overcome by the fumes, fell with
lace into the pan, and was deaf when
discovered. 8.
Ny Judgment it that Grant has made
too many enemies to run.-Horace
Greeley. You're right there. Doctor:
Grant always faces his enemies. n, Y.
Commercial Advertiser.
The Elmira Gazette remarks: "The
champion sardine eater Of the world is
the local of the Auburn Daily Aduer-
User. He says: We pay nearly a.
OOO,O0O0 annually. to France for sar-
dimes 'U p sIfsH-i T1-- 80 -
The Norwich AdUertiser selects the
following from "What Know About
Farming" 'sCAtch your butterflies
late in August. Select deep yellow
ones if you would get sweet, saleable
butter" --.-r....s - --.5..-
Somebody once asked Tow Corwin If
he had heard certain story Of Louis
d. Campbeiiis. "Was it about him.
self?" inquired NJ. qC6fwin. ssNo' I
believe not" y"Well,5 then I never
heard it," said Mr.. Corwin, gravely.
A Western paper accuses a rontem-
porary Of "dirty meanness,p and re
marks: "We want him to understand
that two can play at that game" A
rather frank avowal. rsr ~
Customer-eI say, this umbrella I
bought last week is all coming to
pieces!" ShopmanLs' Indeed, sir. You
must have beer taking it out and get
ting 1t wet, sir, IthinkI'' 515 e
The Detroit Free Press thinks is
very unwise in Young men to spend
$500 and two years time in acquiring
Z medical education when they can
buy diploma for $40. IN
A marriage by matehlight was late
iy consunmated in Kansas City. The
Squire was in hurry and so were the
couple, and neither would wait till the
lamp could be Illuminated. The fee
was paid under neighboring gas
lamp. ~ Ha4 r's7lGJeS 1'5dS \
ssIs there single thing the Demo
cratic party ever held to That they
havn't departed from?'' asked Judge
Amber, in his speech at Marietta, last
Thursday. ''Yes, whiskypv answered
a voice in the crowd, amid roars of
laughter. .,--, -.-...'..-.-..l
''This little fellow,D said Martin
Luther of bird going to roost, .'has
chosen his shelter, and quietly rocking
himself to sleep without care for to-
lodging, calmly holding by
his little twig, and leaving God alone
to think of him." Sc l05l-o5-s
"When a distinguished American
dies" said shrewd and sarcastic OBJ
server not along ago, "his admiring
friends and cOuntrymen Immediately
resolve to build him a magnificent
and then-they dent build
it.n W 49,
A proper vehicle.-Tipsy customer
: A pint o. whisky, please. sir, ~ Pub
ican-'fYe'll get no mair whisky here,
McTavish. Havn't / told you in plain
I4uSllSH4 II 1C hAul II III l<t1lll OE
Greek?" Tipsy customer No, think
ye, sir; I want it in bozzle.n %,
1t is always safe to be polite to ladies.
An incident of the late railroad smash
Up near Boston proves it. A gentle
nan of that city gave up seat in the
asst car of the Beverly train-to a lady,
md passed for ward. The lady was
killed and the gentleman unhurt.
The Houston CTexas) Telegraph an
1ounees the following bit OF political
wisdom: Put one rotton potato intoA-
lill Of sound tubeTs and It will infectA
rood many of its companions. So it g
With tyranny and its supporters.n
J.W.S. Browne, the pressman who
hot and killed Capt. j. Theedone Ad-
inns in Memphis, Tenn, the other day,
or the seduction of his daughter, was
he original proprietor and publisher Of
he Cincinnati Cb,anserciui, and Is the
'on of the Rev. Samuel J. Browne, one
If the early pioneers OF Ohio.
Mr. Theophilus Popp, Of Poppville,
n Popp county, fancying himself to be
5ery popular with his lady love, popped
he question to her under the popular
rec. when she referred him to her pop
oy, who when asked for his consent
under the influence Of ginger
)op, popped him out OF the door to the
une of sEPop goes the weasel"
A young man in New Hampshire
greed with an acquaintance that IL he
would eat six quarts of boiled custard,
he would swim two miles in pond.
The challenged man disposed Of the
'ustard, and the next morning the 9TH
II swan to the prescribed point, and
hen turned around and swan back
nto the lake some twenty rods, giving