The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-02-23

Terry Haute claims more banks than any
other city of its size. One is national, aud
the Other thirteen or so are Of the fare nd
keno varieties
The Chattanooga Times asks: "WhTther
are We drifting?' TO which the Knoxville
Wing replies: ut would be profane in US to
say"
Big sister: ooh. papa, I must 60 to hear
Nilsson. You know | ain so fond of music"
Juvenile brother (triumphaptly:) ''Then why
don't you let me play on my drum p
A Norwich (Conn.) woman, who ran
needle into her left foot year ago, by acct
dentnlly stepping upon it, recently had it pull
ed out from beneath her shoulders.
A little ten year old miss told her mother
the other day tt at she was never going to
marry, but meant to be widow, because
widows dressed in such nice black, and always
looked SO happy.
We should take a prudent care for the
future, but as to enjoy the present. 1t is no
part of wisdom to be miserable to day because
we fear we may happen to be SO tomorrow.
81 have this afternoon been preaching 10
congregation of asses" said conceited young
parson. "Then that was the reason you call
ed them beloved brethren" replied strong
minded lady.
This is the way Colorado lover expressed
admiration for his fair: "Shes peeler. she
is. She killed bear when she was fifteen
and Digger Indian when she was eighteen J;
and new she'll whip her weight in wild cats !"
The Engineering Magazine says: awe
are on the brink of new era in railways
the era of the narrow gauge railway-an era
Of renewed activity, when every villige, al
most farmstead, may have its railway"
Ralph Culbertsop, engineer for Graft, Ben.
nett e. Co., Pittsburg, Pa, while working
about fly wheel, was caught by the neck
while the wheel was revolving, and his head
was literally torn from his body. He leaves
wife and two children.
Like morning dream, life becomes more
bright the longer we live, aud the reason Of
everything becomes more clear. What puz-
zled US before seems less mysterious, and the
crooked paths look straishter as we approach
the end.
Mrs. Jos. ". Hand died at San Francisco
on the 9th instant, and her body has been ex
humed by the coroner who has ascertained
that her death was caused by abortion, pro-
cured it is alleged by DR. Chas O'Donrel,
who is already under suspicion of having
caused the death of French woman in the
same manner
A woman in Springfield found nice looking
towels selling for ten cents apiece at recent
auction sale, and SO took lot at the same
price. When she got home she washed them
in order to get the sizing out. and succeeded
admirably; but, unfortunately, the pulp Of
the paper Of which they we're made washed
out too.
A lady at GAINESVILLE, Ohio, in cleaning
der, and thinking it was lampblack, she threw
it into the fire. Her husband thinks she es-
capped as nothing has been seen of her since,
except a piece of calico dress, which was dis
covered on an apple tree in the orchard.
Josh Billings says The live man is like
little pig; he is weaned young, and begins to
root early. He is the peppersass Nv creation
the all spice Nv the world. One live man in
village is like case Nv itch in district
skule-he sets every body to scratchin at
onst.
A candidate for the position of school
teacher in Alabama recently replied to ques
tion by one of the examiners, do you think
the world is round or fiat? by saying: "Well
some people think one way and some anoth-
err; and I'll teach round or fiat, just as the
parents please"
A Frenchmau who had purchased a coun-
try seat, was complaining of the want Of birds
officer, "and they'll come. I was once III
Africa, and there was not supposed to be a
woman within two hundred miles. l hung a
pair of ear rings and bracelet on tree enc
night, and the next morning l found two
women under the branches"
A comparative statement showing the re-
ceipts Of the several general sources Of reye-
nue. taxable under existing laws for the first
six months Of the fiscal years ending June 30.
1870 and 1871 shows IN aggregate decrease
of So, 703 ,81S. The statement ofspirits show
decrease of 81, 354 80. Tobacco increased
the receipts S967, $40. and fermented liquors
give an increase Of S590,474 There is a
decrease from incomes of $2,29s,0o9.
The WISH OF THE GTEART.-A little deaf
and dumb girl was once asked by a lady, who
wrotesSthe question on a slate:
"What is prayer =
The little girl took the pencil and wrote
the reply.
''PIaycr Is tic uish Of h.r Aeari"
"a So it 49,; Fine words and beautiful versea
said to God do not make real prayer without
the sincere wish OF the heart.
WANTING FRIENDS Il sish that I had
some good friends to help tie ON in life. y