Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-09
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

idols (idles) in crinoline.
WHAT is that which must play before il
can work PA fire-engine
! A CUP that will not intoxicate, vet is in.
dicative of Observation-Disclosures.
A LAZY chap has found out that work.
ing between meals is unhealthy for him
In Scotland there are 100000 persons
who decline to be classed enthusiastically.
| THE New York Leader is puzzled by
the parodoxical question: "Can a lover
be called sutton when he don't suit her !"
| AN 1rishn an who had blistered his
! fingers by endeavoTing to pull on pair of
| boots, exclaimed: Il believe shall never
! get them on until wear them a day or
| two"
THE other day mail car on the Toledo
Peoria d Warsaw road was hauled of
for repairs. On removing some boards.
80 letters were found, some Of which had
been there two years.
a CONTEMPORARY writes of an indiyid.
ual who was too poor to have his boots
BACKED, and trusted he was too much
of gentleman to black them himself" so
they went dirty.
In 1870, there was G1s,1e3,3O4 returned
for the relief of the poor in Ireland, an
increase of e29, 800 over 1869. The num-
Der OF persons who received poor relief
during the year was 2S5, $50, against 1885,.
1913 in the preceding twelve months.
SEVENTEEN kegs Of powder composed
blast which, in Dorset, VT, the other
day, threw into the air 30 feet block of
marble 40 feet long, 80 feet wide, and IS
inches deep, and estimated to weigh more
than 1900 tons.
A NEW MADE justice Of the peace hav-
ing occasion to marry couple as his first
official act, and there being quite an as
semblage present, he determined to strike
them dumb with awe, and so, in winding
up he said, 81 pronounce you man and
wife; and may God have mercy on your
souls !"
THE PaH Mall Gazette, noticing the fact,
that marriages are sometimes performed in
railway trains in the United States, OBJ
serves at becomes question whether
in this country the funeral service might
not with propriety be performed over the
passengers in the waiting room Of the sta
tons before the departure of the trains on
some Of our principal railways"
DABsTER says he would not mind living
as bachelor but when he comes to think
to go down to the grave without any.
body to cry for them 1T gives him
chill that frost-bites his philosophy. Dab
ster was seen the other evining, going
convoy to milliner Putting this fact to
the other, it is highly suggestive.
Mr.. SPRIGGINs is a little forgetful some
times He counted his children the other
night, but could only make fourteen.
Chow is this?' he asked his wife; IL
thought there were fifteen of them" SO
there were," answered his wife; "but
little Sammy was drowned since then"
Indeed" said Spriggins, meditatively;
"why, it seems to Inc l heard Of that at
the time"
TERRIBLE times in Warrenton, Va, are
thus depicted by the editor of the Sentt-
nd. A few weeks sgo dentist came to
town, and advertised that he would ere
move all of persons teeth for two dol
lars, and insert a new set for ten dollars,
besides giving six months credit" The
WarrentOn people are very fond OF bar
gains, SO there was q rush for the dentists
office. He was busy for two weeks pull
ing teeth, and at the end Of that time half
the people had empty gums, and bone
dust factory in the neighborhood doubled
its number of wOrkmen, so as to grind up
the teeth. Meanwhile the people were
waiting for the dentist to fit them with
new sets, the abandoned scoundrel eloped
with the hotel keepers wife; and now
there are two or three thousand people in
the town who cannot eat anything tougher
than soup and farina. All the butchers
have failed, and not cracker has been
sold for three weeks. One man, 1T is said,
whitfield out set of wooden teeth for
l,,$ In Erof I,sn Of Thieku ho
took-Warrenton whisky-set them in q
blaze. and his funeral came off the next
day. The dentist will hear Of something
greatly to his disadvantage, if he comes
back.
A NEW YORK paper speaking Of the
engineer who was killed in the recent &C
cident on the Hudson River Railroad, says:
"In all the conversations of Doc Sim
mons with the railroad men, he would
never advocate jumping from an engine IN
time of danger. No. said he on one oc-
casion, Il would squat He meant he
would SQUAT behind the boiler and trust
to going through whatever might Obstruct
the track. That was the course he un-
doubleday took on the fatal Monday night.
Nearly all his comrades on the Hudson
River road think he was foolishly brave.
They argue that, after the patents were
pulled, and his engine reversed, and throt-
tie opened, he had performed all the duty
in his power to save the train, and then
he should have jumped to save himself.
He leaves little child behind, in Pough-
keepsie. She was his daughter by his
first wife, and he visited her regularly
every Sabbath Upon the Sabbath pre-
vious to the accident he called to see her
and when they parted he, as was his Gus
tom, kissed her fondly, and babe her good
bye; but, when he had gone little way,
he returned, and again and again kissed
and fondled the child. Gould he have
had premonition that that was the last
time he would see herr"
A GERMAN paper states that five Ger
man hussars were quartered in the house
Of wealthy farmer in the neighbOrhood
of Tours, and Hospitality received by their
host They were all lodged in different
rooms of the house, and when they went
to bed the farmer remarked playfully that
the house was said to be haunted, but that
the ghosts were of most harmless dispO-
sition, and had never injured anybody. In
the night one of them was aroused by