Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-07-20
Whitlings

"' Acaus people 10 buy all sorts of
trash at auction: More bid curiosity.
fyou would lay in supply ofold wine,
De sure to make it out of elderberries.
A postmaster by the name of Goodale.
when he is in hurry, signs himself Xxx.
When piekpocket pulls at your watch,
tell him plainly that you have no time to
spare.
Pess.e say iron natures never weep, and
In tiers.
Who was the wisest man. Knower.
70 90 in out If the nin.
Why is the treadnifI IKE true con-
vert! Answer-Because its turning is
the result of conviction.
One hundred and twenty-nine applica-
lions for divorce for dirorce reasons in
Chicago last week.
Missouri panther, hunted down BY a
brave party, proved to be a large yellow
dog which had got lest.
A writer on school discipline says
Without liberal use of the rod It is i'm
possible TO make boys smart"
will you have me. SARAH" said n
young man to modest girl. mo, John
but YOU can have me, if you will
Why does coat get larger when taken
out of carpet bag: Because, when you
take it out you'll find it in cre;ises,
When a certain mathematical dentist
living up town has adifficult tooth to pull,
be extracts the ross by means of logar-
i,hms.
An lndianian poured nitric acid into his
ladylovc's ear to prevent her marrying
anybody but himself. His efforts were
eminently successful.
in some parts Of Colorado water sels
st[~o cents a pint, which shows that
they haven't dug their wells deep enough
20 reach the quartz.
1t is said that a constant visitor to that
Watering place never tried a second bath
at ljcng 3Fanchi because he found the first
surf-feat.
Tine young lady of Toledo who snatch
ed powder-flask from q child, ans
threw it into a stove. is perfectly satisfied
with bar fret s.fForf- in hIauf;n-
An Omaha paper advises the people not
TO make such fuss about the shooting
of one constable, as there are over forty |
candidates for the position"
Old Money Bags says that girl with
an income of three thousand dollars
year. or more, is always an object of in
terest, because she has so much principal.
A man in an ecstatic mood. exclaimed
Woman is the primerd cause Of all hap
piness;" when bystander remarked:
No doubt, for she is the pr-s e-.1 her
self"
A man has invented a new and cheap
/
mesmerize the rest, and then eats hearty
meal-the mesmcrized being satisfied from
sympathy
Hartford has the shakes" in mild
form The Post prescribes, as a sure cure
a teaspoonful of common salt placed in
each stocking of the patient, next to the
foot a. the chill comes on
II wish you had been Eve" said an ur-
chin to a stingy old aunt, proverbial for
her meanness why so," Because
said he, you would have eaten all the
apple, instead of dividing it."
An Iudiana man took iautianuin, remark
ing that he had an engagementwith Gen
eral Jackson at four o'clock Active ex-
ercise on the part Of a stomach pump
caused the engagement to be broken
Two young ladies drove out to the
races in high English wagon, only &c.
ccunpanied by Spitz and small groom
Quite happy family, wasn't it:-horses,
dog, tiger" and a couple Of geese
A housewife in New Orleans, in filing
up her schedule of the census paper, des-
cribed herself as the head of the family"
while, in respect to the trade of her hus-
band. she wrote: He turns my mangle.
4 sbopkeeper having advertised his
stock to be sold under prime cost, neigh |
Dor observed that it was impossible FOR |
him to do 30, as he had never paid any |
thing for it himself.
A shark caught of Charleston is said |
70 have had pair of boots, scalp, two
cannon balls, and a package of Sunday |
school tickets in his stomach. He must |
have kept submarine pawn-shop.
This is the season of Commandments
sheep-skin is being consumed in immense
Quantities; colleges are looking their |
gayest; every girl who can wears secret
society badge, and the voice of the gradu-
ate is heard in the land.
A gentleman in Chicago, who was ar
rested for cruelty to misunderstanding |
horse, was asked if he ever fed him. "Ev- |
er fed him. That's good un," was the
reply. Hes gat bushel and a half of
oats at home now, only he amt got time
TO eat EN-"
A Philadelphia journal relates how a
lady in Indiana applied for a divorce on
the ground that her husband was "con- |
founded fool" and the judge said that i'll
the plea were allowed, every man who
married would be liable to the same i'm
putation-
A Pussian cavalry officer, ", vas