Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1871-09-08
Iauth fur 9ulnnrisfs

"What sustained our revolutionary
s;rcsdring their struggle for liberty?
was what a new Canaan pedagogue
asked boy. and was astonished when
the boy said, Their legs, sir.
.Jeff, why am you like de CEDAR
Il guys it up, Sam; | can't tell ye. +"
.'Case he stays green both Summer |
and Winter
.'Say, Smith. where have you been |
for a week back?' Il haven't been |
anywhere for it. haven't got weak
back.
That seat is engaged" said a
pretty young maid, as entered 4
carriage one day. ITO whOmy' "a
young gentleman, pouting she said
Then where ish baggage, | pray p
Her ruby lips opened like rosebuds i'll
spring, her face in deed bushes was
dyed, as muttering GROSSLY, You
hateful old thing why | am his bag
gage" she cried.
Good morning, Smith, you :, look
/ sleepy" Yes" replied Smith. 81
was up all night" Up! where?' up
stairs in bed"
4 Yankee, in England, being an
uoycd By the constan. Boosting as to
the superiority of english girls, finally
silenced laudation by declaring that
.'they had a girl in boston, only IL
years old, who could chew gum in
seven different languages, with her
eyes shut"
On a recent defamation day in
New jersey school, promising young
idea shot off the subjoined "Our
: WALLER hen has broke her leg, o, new
er more, she'll lay an egg; the brin
die cow has gone plum dry, and siste'
Sal has eat the pie; this arth is full
of sin and sorrow, we're born to'da!
and die to morrow"
A little girl came into my house
{ one day and some apple parings lay
on a plate on the table. After sitting
, awhile she said:
Il smell apples ~
i YES" l replied, Il guess yol
p smell those apple parings on tn
a plate"
"No! nor said she, .'Tain't then
: l smell smell whole apples"
5 The rising generation in Iowa j
IS hopefully bright. At one ofthe Sun
s dag SCHOOLS IN al Iowa town last Sun
If day the superintendent WIS reviewing
e the lesson, ard was talking CT III
verse reading ''Ilet your ioins be cir
died and year lights burning" III
= asked the question, "Why are W
&c commanded to grid our loins?' On
20 little, short shaver sung out, IT
IT keep your brooches up"
r. An exchange says that it knows {
,r boy who by accidendt swallowed
d silver halfdollar. They gave war;
>. wafer aid tartar enetic, anu antimC
is NAL wine. and Coked their finger
v down MS throat Until Ike boy though
q he would thrCv up lis toe-naiIs. Al
]. to- q w,,.::ie a doctor CAFE along VIII
is understood such cases. Re admins
d tered small dose Of patent medicine
and in less than ten minutes the bo
threw UP the half-dollar in five cen
II pieces. Science is great thing.
?. [ gave her a rose and gave her
II ring, and | asked her to marry m
ar then but she sent them all back, il
r sensible thing and said she'd had n
:. notion of men. ! told her / d &C oan
: of money and goods, tried to frighte
n her with gfOHl; but she aaSwere
# that she wasn't brought up in tn
q woods to be sca-od ~ lie SC. sech @
; an owl. L called her beggar. an
/. every thing bad; sighted her fea
lures and form, till at length | sue
4 ceeded in getting her mad, and sh
IS ragged like a sea in a storm. An
n then. in amoment l turned and
smiled, and called her my angel an
all {; she fell in my arms like a weary
l. som child and exclaimed, I'VE wi
V marry this fall"