Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1871-07-18

|
| Mad sac of a kiss complain.
| Now, ladde
Wilma stay under your pladde,
| LII L gang bame in the rain !"
| But on an after Sunday
| When cloud there was not ane,
| Ihls selt-same Wlnsome lasse-t
| We CHARGED to meet in the lane.
| Said s'Laddie,
why dlnna We wear your pladdie
| VIVA kens but it may rain =
The Agent of a Life Insurance Company
Meets with a Horrible Death.
The following sketch will commend itself to
to the vast multitude of persons who have en-
dured the per -ecutions of persistent insurance
agents; -<Hss
His name was Benjamin p. G6hn and be
was the agent for an insurance conlpan sHe
came around to my office fourteen Times one
morning to sec if he could not persuade d "a
take out life Insurance policy in bis coaspa15q
He used to waylay me on the streets, atch6lDA4
In my own house, and bore me about that pol
10y. Ii went 10 the opera, Hunn would buy
the next seat to me and sit there the whole
evening" talking about sudden death and the
advantages Of the ten year plan.
1t got into street car, this Gum would
come rushing in at the next corner, and sit by
my side and drag out a lot of mortality tables,
and begin to explain how [ could beat his com
pany out of fortune. If ! sat down to din
ner at q restaurant, up would come Gum, and
seizing the chair next to me. would tell cheer
ful aneedote about man who insured ia his
company for $50 900 only last week, and Vas
buried yesterday. If / attended the funeral.
OF q departed itiend, ard wept as they threw
down the earth On bis coffin, [ would hearaa
whisper, and, turning around, there would be
the indomitable Benjamin 2. Gum, bursting
to say, Poor Smith Knew him we'll. In
sured for ten thousand in our company. Wild
ow in comfortable circumstances Let me take
your name. SHAH )!
He followed me everywhere, until at last |
got SO sick of Gums prosecutions that left
town suddenly one evening, and hid myself In.
a secluded country village, hoping to get rid of
him. At the end OF two weeks | returned
reaching home ia the morning. | had hardly
gotten into bed before there was ring at the
door bell! He asked if Max Adeler was at
home.i | said vas the man. Mr.. Gum then
observed that he expected my return, and
thought he would call around about that insu-
rance policy. He said that he had the doctor
with him, and if would come down he would
take my name and have me examined imuedi-
ately. | was toe indignant to reply. shut
the window ano Wen. to bed again. After
breakfast In the morning | opened The front
door. and there vas Gum sitting on the steps
with his doctor waiting for me. As [ came
out they seized me and tried to undress me
there on the pavement, IN order to examine
me. | retreated and locked myself up In the
garret, with orders to admit nobody to the
house until | came down stairs.
But Gum woulln't be bafiled. He actually
rented the house next door, and stationed him
self in the garret adj lining mine. When be
got fixed be spent his time pounding on the
partition and crying, Halo Adeler !-Adeler,
say--how about that policy?' And then he
would tell me some more anecdotes about men
who were cut off Immediately after paying the
first premium. But raid no attention to him
and made no noise fhcn be was silent for a
while Suddenly one morning, the trap door
of my garnet was yTrenched off, and, upon look
ing up, | saw Guna with the doctor aud crow
bar, aud lot of death rates, coming down the
ladder at me. fled from the house to the
Presby yterian Church, close by, and paid the
section twenty dollars to let me climb up to the
point of the steeple and sit astride of the ball
L promised him twenty more if he would ex-
clude ever ybody from that steeple for week.
Once safely on the bah three hundred feet from
the earth, made myself comfortable with the
thought that had Gum at a disadvantage,
and determined 10 beat him finally if [ had
to stay there month.
About an hour aterward, while was look
ing at the superb view of the west, heard a
rustIing around ON the other side Of the steeple
[ looked around, and there was Benjamin p
Gum creeping up the spire in balloon In
which was the tabular estimates of the losses
of bis company from the Tontlne system. As
soon as Gum reached the ball he threw bis
graphing iron into the shingles OF the steeple,
and asked me at what age my father died, and
if any OF my aunts ever had consumption or
liver complaint.
Withous waiting to reply, l slid down the
steeple to the ground and took the first train
for the Mississippi Valley. In two weeks I
was in Mexico. I determined to go to the in
terror, and seek some wild spot, in some eleva-
ted region, where no gun would ever dare come
[ got mule, and paid guinea to lead me to
the summit of Popocatopetl
We arrived at the foot of the mountain at
noon and Goied upward for about four hours.
Just before reaching the top [ heard the sound
of voices and upon rounding a point of rocks,
who should see but Benjamine Z. Gum seat
ed on the very edge Of the crater, explaining
the endowment plan to his guide and stupety-
ing him with mortality table, while the doc
tor had the other guide few yards off exam
lining him to see if he was healthy
Mr. Gum arose and said he was glad to see
NE, UoCduSo now uc CoHise sSiN esOoue thdt JUS
mess about the policy without fear of Interrupt
ton. Ia a parozysm of rage | pushed him
back into he crater, and he fell thousand
feet below with heavy thud. AS he struck
the bottom I heard voice screaming out
something about s'non forfeiture - but there
was a sudden convulsion of the mountain, a
cloud of smoke, and | heard no more.
[ know it was wrong. know | had no
right to kill Gum, in that manner, but he
forced me to do it in sefdefence, and hope
his awful fate will be warning to other insu-
rance agents who remain among US. s-
THE NEWSPAPER The editor of the Fred
ericksburg News, who has had considerable ex-
perience IN the newspaper treadmill, and who
| is therefore qualified to speak knowingly on
the subject. thus refers to the recent connec-
ton of Mr.. A. H. Stephens, with the Georgia
press =: Mr.. s. will find it requires more
brains more mental strain, to edit newspa-
| per than he ever found it required to practice
| law, or be a member Of Congress, however ig
norant people may think to the contrary.
When, to be silent, what to keep back, how Il
present and press the truth SO as to have all It'll
effect. Mr.. s.. will have most difficulty il
keeping silent" >" -. - .s .fl ..t as,f..
The Savannah, Ga, Republican now urges
| that the Southern Democrats should not a
present talk about political matters. 1t coun
sells a course Of mastery inactivity ~ ant
Il L