Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-09-01
HunOr.

Deer Hills many p0tele, ana tine DOttle
many bier. -e''t
When lover dotes on his darling, re-
fusal acts as an Anti.dote
About as dangerous net as fellow can
fall in with is bru-,aet. n as a5T
A Toast-Here's to the Three Ages
Engage, Marriage and Dot-age.
Ask the butcher to take the bone out Of
the chop-that's the way to make both ends
meet.
Running accounts will run away with a
persons credit more rapidly than anything
else. .0a ttg
Why are modern bellies like burglars
Because they destroy the finest locks by
powder. ssr >n ...za
An old lady, writing to her son out West,
warns him to beware of bilious saloons and
bowel alleys.
CONTEMPLATING blessing before
meat, and abusing the victuals through the
entire meal.
Why should young ladies set good exam
pies? Because young men are so apt to
follow them. 8 ra5
The way to command respect and plenty
Of room in a crowd-Carry pot Of paint
in each hand.
There is landlord in this town whs is
SO mean and exacting, that he sees rent,
even in a cloud.
A baby who kisses his mother and fights
his father, may be said to be partial to his
ma and martial to his pa.
A writer on school discipline says -
Without liberal use Of the rod it is i'm.
possible to make boys smart
What is one mans loss is another mans
gain, as the fellow said when he saw man
walking before him drop his pocket book.
A Washington correspondent announces
that in that city you can get dozen gu
cumbers and the cholera morbus for ten
cents. aeaa5N -
'Digby, will you have ssme of the but
tab 2 Thank you, marin; I belong to the
temperance society, and cannot take any
thing strong "a, 49,
A country youth from Georgia lost all
his money gambling, and then set down
and cried. The winner returned him his
money telling him to 60 home and in future
to 'gambol on the green
The abstaining Boston people have re-
sorted to teapunch. They make it with
zone bottle of champagne, one of whiskey.
one of rum. two of claret, a lemon, and a
tablespoonful of black tea
A Maine girl being bantered by some Of
her female friends in regard to her lover,
who had the misfortune to have but one leg,
replied: Pooh, I wouldn't have a man
with two legs-they're too common
A little boy, after watching the burning
Of school-house until the novelty of the
thing had ceased, started down the street,
saying: "Golly! rs glad the old things
burned didn't have my jogfry lesson no.
how !"
A Troy minister found a thief in his
clothes press the other day, and in true
Christian style, led him to the door, and
babe him depart, but when he found bun
die Of his clothes gone, he wished he had
reserved his Christianity.
An urchin hearing his father read an ar
ticle in the paper in relation to new in
vention Of bricks of glass, exclaimed Glass
bricks? I know what them is What
are they? inquired one of the family
Tumblers Of liquor said the juvenile.
At Sunday school in Ripon, teacher
asked little boy if he knew what the ex-
preston Sowing tares' meant. 'Ceurth I
Does said he, pulling the seat of his lit
tie trousers round in front. There's a
tear my ma sewed feared it sliding down
hill s... .... .....-...
Major Muldoon, at Long Branch, in de-
Gliding to tell the beach love-making bust
ness, says I selected maiden whom
found sitting by herself behind set of tur.
tle-shell jewelry and in front of bale of
store hair, and gently led her to the sandy
shell-fsh Shore
A distinguished clergyman in one of Our
eastern cities was met by q dilapidated ind-
vidual, with flask of whiskey in his pock-
ct, who inquired: Sir, is this the nearest
read to the alms-house 2
No, sir, replied the clergyman pointing |
to the bottle, 'but that is - |
Some girls will never learn to restrain |
the natural impulses Of their natures. A
minister was baptising girl OF Ripon,
Wis, and when he had submerged her, and
came out Of the water he asked her how
she felt in her mind. Her answer was,
'All hunky, only little wet"
While vender Of greens in Boston last
week was endeayo1ing to dispose Of his
stock in trade, his poor old nag banked and
refused to bulge an inch. The fellow f.
nally began to belaber the animal with q
stick, when an old lady thrust her head out
of a window and exclaimed, Have YOU no |
mercy 2 No, marm, replied the peddler.
nothing but green's 50
He Cor THE CAsH.-A colored member
Of the Legislature of Texas was met upon |
the street with a large roll of greenbacks |
in his hand, and oackling SO loud that he
attracted the attention of the bystanders,
who said to him, What are you laughing
at Jim 2 Jim replied, You see that money!
yes well, Boss, I just got that for my
vote; Use been bought four or five times in
my life, but dis is de fust time I ever got de |
cash MYSELF? 800
A darkey returning from church was
asked to give an account of the sermon, and
said: er5
We'll, sab, de sermon was upon de
loaves and de fishes. De minister said dar
was seven fousand and five fousand fishes