The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1871-11-16
Piccalilli,A
Blind rom cleared $41, 600 lastsear,

| oNuu lohA SASsiSo ~tr3SS'fb-
What do great liars dotwhen bthay diss
They lie still. .c.; 5aag iad ..ros sys1. %,
Havana has subscribed Sl0, / 5'fof the
relief of the Chicago sufferers. gsfs e@
A2,OoO pound bar r.ofsoapt ptonk the place Of
the, big cheese ut the Atlanta IGeorgia)
fair. 49,, ~ r.,g.
A sign on an eating house on the New
Jersey Railway says Coffee and Eggs,
fresh laid by Mary Jones" 90
When President Grant visited Bangor,
Maine, the Bangorillas' stupidity pnt Wei
come" in great letters over thejaii door.
Why is a woman tying her corset IKE q
man drinking to drown care ?-Because in
so-lacing herself she becomes Tighter -.
Two hundred colored emigsrants arrived
an Saturday at Fortress Monroe, from the
interior, and took passage in the barks Edith
and Rose for Liberia, ssr5ei u.
/ One clergyman, at leasts srecognizes in rail-
road accidents not the my terious proyi-
t'ence G d, "blt tie reckless careless
ness OF man. heis right.
Proof positive-Gocd young Iady-"Lit-
tie boy, have you ever been baptised"
Small heathen-iOh yes, mum; I've got the
marks here on my arm."i sii2 trHH .Srt
The phrase, 'syou'' hcwyit lis yourself"
has been traced to Shakespeare. The idea
is found in the, Meny 81, lKRsag aHirdso,
ACT IL, scene scene 2, sa:bnL ~ 1itf %:aa
Tight pantaloons;, it is said, willseome in
to fashion again, and our men Of shape and
talent therefore may begin to overhaul their
old clothes. =" -
To Aatter persons adroitly one must know
three things-whati they are, what they
think they are, and what they want others
tto think they are. - la,'@.- .ihz..t7
81 Pride is one ofthe seven deadly sins; but
lit cannot be the pride Of mother in her
children, for that is compound oftwo car
dinal virtues-faith and hope, x,.
Anna Dickinson says she proposes giving
the newspaper men that talk about her "tit for
tat" Sol Miller, a Kansas editor, replies
to this by saying, "All right Annie, we'll
trade; here's your tat" '.a ..Jt' .5-2a'
The champagne vintage has failed, and
this added to the depredations ofthe Ger
man soldery will make the sparkling beverage
scarce and high for some time to come. But
what's the odds 81 long as Jersey crab ap-
plesremain -" .'',
A gentleman in beginning to write out a
bond began thus, know. one woinnn by
these present" Hold onH exclaimed q
lawyer; sit should be, Know all men by
these present." Every WE'LL" said the
gentleman, IF one woman knows it, all mtn
will be sure to know it,. also"
A colored member of the, Legislature of
Texas was met upon thestreet with large roll
of grecnbacks in his hand, and cackling 80
loud that he attracted the attention OF the
bystanders who said to him: "What are yoH
laughing at Jim 2" Jim replied, "You SEQ
that money ?" eyes," well, boss, just
got that for my vote; Use been bought four
or five times in my life, but dis is de fust
time | ever got de cash myself" s.."
A Tennessee man, residing where forests
and game are plenty, says that his boys, who
all have gun apiece became short OF per-
cussion caps fev days ago, and the first
thing he knew they were shooting match
heads as substitute. How many boxes of
matches he had lott in that way he did not
say, but he found they fred as clear as the
cap itself. Hero is chalce for some man
to make fortune by getting out now pat
ent. All that is necessary is to adapt the
gunlock to the match head.
The Portland Transcript says: We hap
pened to he so close to the President when
be kissed the great bevy of Bangor girls at
Norombega hail. that we can bear witness to
the fact that it was not 4 feat Of mere pas
sivc endurance. He met the gay beauties
half way. His face was as impassive as
ever, but there was unmistakable fire in his
eyes. The girls were those who represented
the several States in the procession and OF
course it was their representative rather
than their personal character that they werc
kissed. Still if there had been one hund-
red States. we are convinced the President
would have performed his whole duty in
the: premises.
The German Aric expedition did not dis
cover the open sen after all. fAct which is
rather mortifying to the knights of the quill
who made such an outcry over the false re-
port. Some practical, scientific individual,
who hes no soul for sentiment, informs the
too confdng republic that what they did
discover was san open channel between
spitzbergen and Nova zcmbla, which, it
was surmiscd, (mark the word') night pos
sibly lead into an open Polar sea-" 1t re-
mains to be proved that this channel was
anything more than a temporary opening
through the ice, and that second expedi-
ton may not find it locked as securlyas any
other part ofthe Arct..c seas.
. President Grant attempted to write his
Thanksgiving proclamation without consult
ing anybody, and of course, as all know, he
blundered. Indeed, his mind was so warped