Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1871-03-21
Alexandria Gazette
TSELECl'ED.
BceESfcak for Minister'S.
BY r. DE WITT TALMnGE

There have been lately ScNcra tEluolalc al'
tices remarking upon what they Gull the lack
of force and fire in the clergy: The world
wonders that, with a rouSiug theme as the
Gospel, and With such Il grand work as saving
souls. the ministry should ever be ncrveess.
Some ascribe it to lack OF picty, and some to
timidty Of temperament We believe that in
Il great number of eases it is from the lack
of nourishing food Many of the clerical
brotherhood arc on low diet. After jackets
and sacks have been provided for the eight or
ten children Of the parsonage, the father and
mother must watch the table with scrcrest
economy Coming in suddenly upon the din
ner-hour Of the country clergyman. the house
wife apologies for what she calls ii picked
up dinner, when, alas ! it is nearly always
picked-up
Eight hundred or Il thousand dollars Tor 4
minister is only slow way of killing him, and
is the worst stvle of homicide Why du not
tho trustees and elders take Il mallet or IN az,
and with one blow put him out OF his misery:
Congregations sometimes mourn over dull
preaching when themselves are to blame. Give
your minister more bcctStrak, and he will have
more fire Next to the divine junction., the
minister needs blood and he cannot ma he
that out of tough leather One reason why
they had healthy food Fish was cheap along
Galilee, and this, with unbolted bread, gave
them plenty OF phosphorus for brain-tood.-
These early ministers were never invited out
to late suppers, with chicken salad and dough-
nuts Tea parties with hot watfleS, at ten
o'clock at night, make namby- -pamby ministers;
but good hours and substantial diet, that fur
nish nitrates for the muscle, and phosphates
for the brain and carbonates for the whole
frame, prepare 4 man tor effective work.
When the water is low the mill-whccl goes
slow but full race, and how fast the grlsts
are ground In man the arteries are the
practical work of life is the grist ground The
reason our soldiers failed in some of the battles
was because their stomachs had for several days
been innocent Of everything but hard tack.
See that your minister has 4 full havcrSlck f.
Feed him on cruel during the week, and on
Sunday he will give you Cruel What is called
the ''parson' nose" in turkey or fowl Is an
allegory setting forth that III many commun-
ties the minister comes out behind.
The damage begins in the college boarding
house. The theological student has generally
small MEANS and he must 90 to cheap board
ing house A frail piece of sausage trying t"
swim across a river of gravy OH the breakfast
plate, but drowned ut last; ''thc linked sweet
ness long drawn out, Of AicS in the mnlaSscs
Gun: the gristlc of q tough OK, and mcasly bis
cult, and buckwhcat GU lies tough us the cook $
apron, and old peas in which the bugs lost their
life before they had time to escape from the
saucepan, and stale cucumbcrscut UP INTO small
slices of cholera morbus, are the provcnder out
Of which we arc trying at Princeton and Yale
and New Brunswick to make Sons OF Thunder.
Sons of mush From such depletion we step
gaspng into the pulpit. and look 50 heavenly
pale that the mothers in Israel arc afraid We
will evaporatc before we get through our first
sermon.
Many Of our best young men III preparation
for the ministry arc golug through this martyr
dom. The strongest mind i'll our Theological
class perished, the doctors said afterwards, from
lack of food The only time he could afford Il
doctor was for his post mortem examination.
I give the financial condition OF many OF our
young theological students when say o.,
OUTGo:
Board at SO per week Cheap place. ).....ljG 90
Clothing 90
Books (no morocco) w
:..-- sS0l co
Here you see a deficit offitty-one dollars. AS
there arc no 'stealings' in theological semi
nary, he makes up the balance by selling books
or teaching school lie comes into lite cowcd
down, with patch on both knees and several
other places, and hat that has been sdnnc
over four or five times, and so weak that the
first sharp wind that whistles round the corner
blows him into glory. The ncrtncss YOU COM
plain of in the ministry starts early. DO you
suppose that if Paul had spent seven years in Il
cheap boarding house, and the years after in Il
poorly supplied parsonage, he would have
made Felix tremble. No! The first glance of
the Roman procurator would have made him
apologize for intrusion.
Do not think that all your eight hundreds
dollar minister needs is Christmas present of
an elegantly bound copy Of "Calvin's lnstin,
tes. lie is sound already on the doctrine of
election, and it isa poor consolation if in this
way you remind him that he has been tnrccr
daiucd to starvc to death. Keep your minis
ter ON artichokes and purslain, and he will be
fit to preach nothing but funeral sermons from
the text "Alt flesh is grass" While feeling
most of all our need of the life that comes from
above, let us not ignore the fact that many Of
the clergy to-day need more gymnastics, more
resh mir, more nutritious food Prayer cannot
do the work of beefsteak. Yon cannot keep a
hot fire in the furnace with poor fuel and the
damper turned.