The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-10-11
BREvITrEs,

Private eartng-Listening at a key
hole.
How to keep your head clear
Shave every hair. of.
The most steadfast followers of our
fortune-Uur creditors.
Ireland paid e27,O42 for dog IL
censes last year.
There are ten dogs to one voter 10
Houston, Texas.
A rat with nine tails is the latest
cause of rejoicing in Iowa.
A white woodchuck was killed at
Tyson Furnace, VT, a few days ago.
Those who praise you in the be-
ginning will ask favors in the end.
An English preacher asserts that
Heaven holds twice as many women
a men.
L
In Knoxville it Is a fine Of $50 and
cost for q barber to shave any n on
unday.
Raleigh, n. c., presents a pea-pod
two feet in length, and demands the
championship.
A Young man in Portland, Me-,
cut off two of his toes that he might
wear wear a small boot. 2
Brigham Young is willing that his
wives should vote but there must be
no talking politics.
A Newark boy, frightened by a
snake, was attacked by q disease re-
sembling hydrophobia.
A learned German theologian has
found out that there are a few more
. than forty-four million devils.
People say iron natures eve weep
and yet we have seen whole rows of
cannons in tiers.
''1'his is a sweeping catastrophe" as
the man said when his vile Knocked
him down with a broom.
When may a MAN be said to be
really over head and ears in debit
When he hasn't paid for his wig.
Why is a man searching for the
philosophers stone like Neptune?-
Because he Is a soaking Tor what
never did exist.
Why is a woman tying her corset
like a man drinking to drown care?-
Because in s~o-lacing herself she be
comes tight.
Why does a coat get larger when
taken out of a carpet bag? Because
when you take it out you'll find it in
creases!
Boston boasts of q constable who
has never been bribed. He has been
confined to his bed eve since his ap-
pointment.
A full rugged aw'mill passed down
the Ohio river on q "hat" the other
day, with steam up and in successful
operation.
Most people are glad to give their
opinion. Lawyers usually sell theirs.
A new name for the Grecian-bend
is the back-stoop-
A New Orleans colored boy got a
blackstone in his throat, and was re-
lieved by a doctor, who took him by
the heels and shook it out of him.
The word "home'-loyely to ALL
is perhaps never felt in the ~fullness of
its peaceful beauty except by the
homeless.
A French girl, only twelve years
old, neat and ~tastefully dressed, has
surprised the down casters by her skill
in the use of an TX. She cuts and
piles up a cord of wood daily.
Somebody has written a book emit
tied "What shall my son bei A
Western editor replies: eff the boy
is as bad as the book the chances are
that he will be hanged"
An Irishman recently soliloquized :
what a waste O. money to buy mate
when you know the half + it is bone,
when you can spend it for whisky
that hasn't a bone in it."
A young man generally gives a
lock of his hair to his sweetheart be-
fore he marries her. After marriage
she sometimes helps herself, and don't
use scissors.
If anybody in Ashland has ever
sent to New York after any of that
counterfeit money, they may be inter
ested to know that a full list of names
is being made out for publication.
In Robertson county, Tennessee,
they have a mule only four years old
that is seventeen hands high, eleven
feet in length, seven feet in girth, and
still growing.
A GAINESVILLE, Wisconsin, editor has
discovered that many of the young
aides of that city wear their corsets
in bed with the strings tightly laced.
The editor neglects to say how he
comes to know So much.
.sWbere do YOU hail from? 2" asked q