Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1871-10-14
WIT AND WISD0H.
Early pearI-A baby's tooth,
Thecap Observation-Disclosures


Thecap ofLiberty-An eXtinguisher,
Trust not still water nor a silent
man.
Allgge not hunters that blow the
horn.
Poverty is not u shame, but being
ashamed ofitis.
He that is too proud to ask is too
good to receive.
The dead to the bier and the living
to good cheer
lie cannot speak well that cannot
hold bis tongue.
Flowers that are always falling off
Bachelors buttons.
He that bites on every weed must
needs light on poison.
Why is love like potato? Because
it shoots from the eyes.
Are good-looking women ever en-
gagged as 'piain cooks?"
That man is indeed hard up who
cannot get credit even for good in
tentions.
Newboys are never "broke,n for
they always have an "eXtra-two
cents.n
A feminine boat club is organizing
at Yonkers, but is at present in q
crewed condition.
The stream oflife forks; and religion
is apt to run in one channel and busi-
ness in another.
The wife who would properly dis
charge her duties must never have a
soul "above buttons"
All women, let them he never so
homely, are pleased to near them
selves celebrated for their beauty.
Why is every Boston boy sure to
make noise i'll the world? Because
he is little Hub-bub iu himself.
Fashionable virtue-Flirt with your
friends pretty wife; pretend you are
in love with her older sister.
A drummer is the fastest man in
the world, because time beats all men
| but q drummer beats time.
Although Saratoga is thinning out,
there is said yet to remain one lady
from New York with 100 silk dresses.
An Irish Judge said, when address,
ing a prisoner. "Tou are to be hang
ed, and hope IL will prove warn
ing toyou."
No people under heaven can excel
| the Americans in the manly art of
sitting on bench and seeing eighteen
men play ball.
\ veteran shopkeeper says that al.
| though his clerks are very talkative
during the day, they are always ready
to shutup at night.
The hotelin New England with the
! longest name is the Quoquionnasake-
soanogogh House at Hampton Beach.
1t has only one letter less than the
whole alphabet.
The wife is the sun ofthe social sys-
tenn, Unless she attracts there is
nothing to keep heavy bodies, like
husbands, from flying off into space,
/ What bird IS that which it is ALSO.
| lUtely necessary that we should have
at our dinner-table, and vet need
/ be cooked or served up? \ swallow.
None are 90 fond Of secrets as those
who do not mean to keep them; sucl
persons coVet secrets as a spendthli.
. . does money, for the purpose Of circu
latiau.-Colton,
A militia officer being told by .
/ phreuologist that he had an organ o
/ locality very large, innOcently replied
, "NeIy likely; [ was fifteen years il
thc local militia
, Tho last word is tie most danger
b ous Of Internal machines. HUSBAND
j and wife should no more strive to gel
. ID than they would struggle 10 ge
possession Of lighted bombshell
4 Success rides on every hour; crap
T pie it and You may win, but withou
a grapple it viii never 60 with you
Work is the weapon Of honor, ard h
who lacks the weapon will never tri
umph.
A Domestic Rcvelation-Nice boy
@ "Im jolly glad you're going to stol
= with US" Nisitor-"Are you, darling
= Why so?" Nice boy-'Cause we shal
c have nice dinners Low."-Judy.
e 1t is evident that the most worth,
d efforts often fail, while the worst sue
t ceed. This fact alone ought to shoV
It the folly of basing an estimate G
il character on q superficial reckouin
4 Of results.
!, y man in Galveston, the other day
L who complained Of being overheateC
l. effected permanent cure by drink
+ ing six glasses CT ice-wi ter, withou
! the aid OF physician. He was coC
q when the coroner came.
l. SIS your brother-in-law really sue,
- Il lazy man? asked one gentleman {
another. "Lazyw wss the reply
"why, he's so lazy that he has an al
)t tist employed by the month to dra,
n his breath with crayon.n
0, at is tho type of eternal truth,
al says John Ruskin, "that the soul
n armor is never well set to the hea
ir unless woman's hand has braced /
al and it is only when she traces it lOost
Al ~ that the honor of manhood fails.n
Is Death is the cure of all disease
70 There is no catholicOu or uniyers,
a remedy | know, but this, whiC
Is though nauseous to queasy stomach
r yet to prepared appetites is nectar an
a a pleasant portion Of immortality.
10 Sir Thomas Browne.
+ The New York Standard waxiu
in eloquent on the fall fashions, says:
ir ''Lcayo, have their time to fall,
40 The lowers to wthcr when cold win
~ blow on it,
Y md stars to set, but all,
Thou hast all seasons for thine own,
bonnet"
u Tipsy customer-"A pint o. whisk
es please, shire.n PUblican--'eYe'll q
le nea mair whisky here, McTavis
rs Haven't l told you in plain Englis
" Dye want it in Latin and Greek
H. Vipsy customer-"No, thank We, shi
" l want it in a bozzle, ,r-Punch.
m \ fulI-bearded young grandmth
of recently had his hilsute appenda
re shaved oil, showing a clean face
e. the first time in number of yea
.cs At the dinner table his three yC
a. old granddaughter noticed it, "gaz
ref long with wondering eve,n and fin
ly ejaculate&: "Gtandfather, who
head sou got on?"
OF the new "Saratoga striden I
of local paper says: "It is really hs
III To do. You have to practice it a 81
so, deal in your room, and then If y
, don't ret Vonr fins-Wa mean v,