The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-03-02
PHILLIPS FIRST BABY.

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Mrs. Phillips was on the very pinnacle
of felicity. She was the mother Of . boy
which weighed eleven pounds.
Mr.. Phillips bid fair to lose his mind
entirely. He danced and sung, aud fired
guns from the top Of the courthouse,
whistled Yankee Doodle while eating
breakfast, aud wrung the necks Of all
the fowls on the place to make chicken
pie for the celebration.
This worthy couple had been married
ten years, aud this was their first child.
People laughed at them ten years on ac-
count Of this luck-people who were
overrun with children. aud whose lives
were made miserable by the seedlings
and spankings they found 1t necessary
to inflict upon their wretched little olive
plants. e@.
Now, Mrs. Philips said she guessed
they'd laugh out Of the other side.
There had never been SO large a baby
born in the town before. Mrs. jones'
only weighed nine pounds, and had a
pug nose. Mrs. Sawyer's was red.hair.
ed, and had mole on his right f,ot-a
sure sign it would come to a bad end
and it only weighed seven pounds and
fourteen ounces. She guessed folks had
better look at home before they laughed.
Baby proved to be Tartar. He had
temper like windmill, and seemed
determined 10 develop his feet and lungs
to the utmost while he had leisure, for
he screamed and kicked twenty-three
hours out of the twenty four.
But his mother declared lie was an
angel. We could never imagine an on.
gel with puffy red cheeks, heels elevated
in the air, sucking sugar rags, and be-
ing pounced about in willow cradle to
the tune of Hie.diddle-dee," but then
our imagination is not by any means so
vivid as it might be.
From the hour in which the baby was
born he was the autocrat of the house
hold; everything had to bow to his nod.
The scutlery door creaked; it was TAX.
en- off the hinges, and tie servant was
in the draft all the time, because the
creak might disturb the baby. For the
same reason the coffee mill was moved
into the wood shed; the dishes must be
washed out Of doors-the clatter of the
plates made baby scream; the washing
was done in the barn; the dog was
muzzled and the cat choked-all from
fear of disturbing the baby.
Mr.. Phillips gave blacksmith who
was located within quarter Of q mile
one hundred dollars to move his shop !;
and Biddy was moved into the cockloft
of the woodshed on account of her snor-
ing.
The child's diseases were legion. 1t
was wonder that it could draw its
breath with SO many ailments clinging
to it. Mrs. Phillips was continually on
the watch for some new demonstration.
"Charles!" !" cried she, waking her hus-
band from slumber one cold winter
night sit seems to me the baby don't
breathe just right"
Mr.. Phillips sprang up and listened,
"Good gracious! he's got the snuffles,
amt hc?"
"Oh dear! what shall we do if baby il
going to be sick p"
Mr.. Phillips got light and the anx.
ious parents brought it to bear on the
face of their child.
"Oh, heavens !" cried his mother "his
face is actually purple; he's going to
have the scarlet fever! See that spot Oh
his elbow!"
1T may be he's laid on it :" said Mr..
Phillips.
Laid on it: Oh. you unfeeling man
You unnatural father! And there, it's
sucking its thumb! I've known from
the first it would not live, 1t sucks it,
thumb 30 much!"
"Seems to me I've heard my mother
say it was a sign of healthy child to
Any way, it's good sign or bad one,
forget which,"
"Run, Charles! run for a doctor, it's
going to die-I know it. Oh, don't stop
to dress, don't; it may die while you
are waiting. Cali for Granny Bates,
and tell her to bring me catnip, and SAT-
from, and rue and peppermint; tell her
to bring all the herbs she's got; and do
hurry, Charles, do Mercy on US !! it's
sucking both its thumbs! Run run !''
Mr.. Phillips caught up the first arti-
Gle Of clothing he could lay his hands on,
which proved to be an embroidered pet.
ticoat of his wife's, but he was in toe
much haste aud altosethe: too much ex.
cited to notice dress particularly. He
flung the garment over his head, and
tied it round his waist, slipped OIL hi.
shoes, and then plunged out into the
keen air. The doctor was asleep, and
did not care about turning out, but or
being told it was case of life and death
he yielded at once.
Mr.. Phillips left him dressing, ant
sped to the residence Of Granny Bates
The old lady was wise, but she wa
dreadfuily supersti,ious, and believed re
Iigiously in warnings and apparitions
Phillips gave laundering rap at he
door. AL directly night-capped hea'
appeared at an upper window.
"What do We want at this time o'night
and who be ye ?" said an old cracke,
voice.
Phillips stepped out and stood plainl.
revealed by the light Of dim moon.
, "Good gracious massy ~ cried tn
old woman. 'It's an app ,ratus from tn
t'other world! Aud it's got u scollODe