Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-05-14
JOSH BILLINGS PAPRRs
kOrn.

KOrn il a serial, am glad Oy it.
1t got its name from Series, a primitiff
woman, and in her day, the goddess OV
oats and sich like.
Korn il sumtimes called maize, and it
grows in sum parts of the western country
very amaizenly.
hsy seen it out thare IS foot hi CdOnt
mean the aktual korn itself, but the tree
on which it grows.)
Korn has ears, but never has but one
ear, which il az def az an adder.
IDiun meal il made out Nv kOTn, and
korn dodgers il made out Nv injun meal,
and korn dodgers are the tuffest chunks,
ov the bread purswashun, known tew
man.
Korn dodgers are made out Ov water,
with iniun meal MKT into it, and then
baked on hard board, in the presence ov
a hot fire.
When yu kant drive 10 penny nail
into them, with a sledge hammer, they
are sed, bi good judges, to be well done,
and are reddY tew be chawed upon.
They will keep 5 years, in damp
place, and not gro tender, and dog hit
with one of them will yell for week,
and then crawl under the barn, and NUT
ter for two days more.
| hav knaWed two hours miself on one
side of kOrn dOdger without prOdusing
emmy result, and think could starve to
death twice before could seduce korn
dodger.
They git the name of dOdger from the
immegiate necessity ov dodgeiDg, if one
L I. OF Nh in,
1t il far better teW bes smote bi a year
old steer, than korn dodger, that IL only
three hours old.
Korn was fust discovered by the injuns,
but WHARF tney found it don't knO, and
don't know as | care.
Whiskee, (noble whiskee,) is made out
ov korn, and whiskee is one Ov the great,
est blessings known tew man.
We never should hav bin able tew fill
our state prizons with energetick men and
our poor houses with good eaters, if it
want for noble whiskee.
We never should have had emmy tenn
perance sons ov sosiety, nor demOkratik
politicians, nor priz fites, LOT good
murders, nor phatt aldermen, nor whis-
kee rings, nor nothing, if it want for
blessed whiskee.
If it want for korn, how could emmy
boldly git horned?
And If it want for Citing horned, what
would life be worth2
We should all sink down to the level Ov
the brutes if it want for Citing horned.
The bruites don't git horned; they haint
got emmy reason nor soul.
We often hear ov "drunken brutes, y
this is a kompliment to oxen which don't
belong tew them.
Korn also hsz kurnels, and kurnels are
often korned, SO a.e brigadeer-ginerals.
Johnny kake is made Outov korn, so il
hasty puddin.
Hasty puddin and milk is quick tew
eat.
ALI you hay got to do IL to gap and
swallo, and that il the last ov the pud-
din.
Korn waz familiar tew antiquity. Jo-
seph waz sent down into Egypt after sum
korn, but his brothers didn't want him
to go, so they took pity on him and pit
ted him in pit.
When his brothers got back hum, and
waz asked WHARF Joe waz they didn't
acknowledge the korn, but lied sum.
1t has been proved that it IL wicked to
lie about korn or emmy ov the other vege-
tables.
Thare iz difference between lieing and
saving wood, it il easier to lie, espeshily
in the shade.
Kom has got one thing thatnobody else
has got, and that IL kob.. ,,-.,--.l.-.s
This kob runs thru the middle ov the
korn. and il as phull ov korn as Job waz
l alwus feel sorry when think ov Job,
and wonder how he managed tew set
down in Q chair.
Knowing how tew set down, square
on bile, without hurting the chair, IL
one ov the lost arts.
Job waz card, he had more pashunce