The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-06-15
A Patent Mode Of Living.

The venerable poet ana eo''o', date
R.v.sr. lately gave to the woria 10
mcnt of his daily habits and diet "n,o NV, .n,,,
exceedingly refreshing for Its cheeiI .,a,,oss
,,oronce se,c.dcnial, and far'naceo"'noI
Nv nv. - ,,..,,, o,d nure and fruitful SEM,
NC am.,. or the poets life in the m'os' %
''o r,'sans and reckless race of moftais ~
| - universal admiration ana iihe oi'
- ,ho hest of poems, 1t has come 10 w
n,rodicd. and that with mischle'ous ih.en'
and variety. Our eye has been arrested os
ono Of these. which. in spite OF us irre'e-
rential and rcllickSome nature, we a,e
compelled to pronounce capital. !" doh
know who CHARLES ID. WARNER Is. but we
owe him our most grateful thanks ior
very hesrty laugh. We hand his concert 10
orr readers. assured that all who are not
like D1cKENs's man. who couldn't under
stand Joke though it were fired ut him
out of forty-pound cannon, will not only
heartily laugh at it, but thank us as we
thank WARNER:
THE PATENT MODE OF LIvING.-1 am
sometimes lost in delight as read the con-
| fident and generous directions OF some man
| Who has solved the problem OF correct
| living, and given his gospel to the World
| How much better than any imagined mil
| jennium will that be when we conform all
orr vile bodies to his body--What sweet
| uniformity when we all eat. and drink, ana
sleep, ana dress, and exercise exactly Us ne
| has found it best for him. The process OF
| natural selection has been Carried quite far
enough, Let lis be of one mind aud diet
| nron of one bran, flesh OF one flesh. We
shall all 60 to bed ut one hour, and that
rluht early-cXccpt editors OF morning
journals, who will have q dispcnsation to
die early.
we SHALL all rise, like bed of crocuses
in spring, ut 4 very early hour, anu all To-
| getner. Sickness will not excuse us, TOT
there will be no excuse for sickness. At
the same moment we shall be engaged In
taking an air bath, Il plunge bath, i sponge
bath, q dry rub; and then dressing nc
cording to q tabular set of figures, fur
nished by the central authority, showing
1.-THE proper weight Of each garment nc
cordlng to the temperature indicated by
the thermometer, we shall all take brisk
walk Of eleven minutes. We shall all
saw wood for half an hour if we have no
liftin~.machine, and then sit down 10
breakfast. to consist of half pint OF I'll.
tered water free of all animal substances,
and two quarters of dried apple, or any
, other fruit in season. to be eaten wtn tne
utmost chcerfulness, and even with llttie
moderate hilarity. A fried apple with III
: larity is to be avoided. After breakfast VIC
are 10 90 TO our various occupations with a
clear mind and an elastic frame. BY T.
o'clock we shall be quite ready for dinner
This meal is to be varied every day in the
Week-diflerent kinds of bran bread, diff
, fercnt kinds of cracked wheat, differ
. ent kinds Of dried apples, and other
! sorts of fruit that do not contain Ger
; tain kind of acid which is hostile to the
. standard stomach Of the reformer whom we
z follow. to be eaten with good deal OF mer-
, rlment-(no matter who has died or who has
gone into bankruptcy)-to be eaten III large
quantities. In fact, we are to eat all we
| want at this kings meal, with one reStrlc-
ton. We are to leave off hungry and cX-
, tremely hilarious. The dinner is to cost not
over eight cents, except you dine with q
friend and he pays the bill, in which case you
NAV take sugar on your fruit. After dlIl-
ner YOU may take q siesta Of twenty MN
utes and Il nap in your chair, but 90
not lie down and sleep with your mouth
shut if fly time, for animal food Is absolute
" prohibited. These directions may seem
; upimportant: but nothing is trivial 10 al
immortal man, as YOU VIII lecl wheh you 20
TO your business with Sprlnglng step, 4
sparkling eye, glowing cheeks, fire in every
limb, eXultant blood in every muscle, and
the consciousness that you have no
butchers bill, grocer's bill, or milk
mans, that you owe no man dollar,
and can keep all the commandments just
as easy as you can wink. As YOU walk
along the street, you occasionally jump
into the air four or i've feet, or leap over
| the boundary fence and back, and laugh
aloud. At supper it is best for you to cat
nothing, excepting your. own cheerful
try a little brown bread, raised without
Yeast, slowly masticatns it, thinking
about butter, and being careful to call up
| no image that will induce excessive
laughter; for this is the time to begin to
trunqulizc the mind and prepare Tor self
| satisfied slumber.- Charles d. Warner.