The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-02-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


A Cheque mate-A wife.
A Grave DISTINGUISHING.
Pressing BusinesS-The printers.
''The rest Of the week Sunday.
What anglers often catch-A cold.
The wealthiest man in Baltimore is
worth only seven million dollars.
What sort Of fruit most sought after
by editors-The latest dates.
A good house wife's motto-whatso-
ever thou dost, dust with all thy might.
Slippery sidewalks are now quite unpop-
ular. x good many people are down on
them
Why should young ladies never wear
stays? Because it is so horrid to See a
girl tight
There IS an old lady living less than
fifty miles from this City who firmly be-
licves that more men marry than women.
To make a new rope as Timber and soft
as an old one, boil it two hours in water,
and then thoroughly dry it in a warm
room.
Compliments are the coin that people
pay man to his face !; sarcasms are what
they pay him with behind his back.
Az observing correspondent think it
would be a good idea to have eclipses
more frequently-it causes SO many eyes
to turn heavenward.
Under the dead OF Lost Races Of
America gentleman is getting up
list of the celebrated horses which have
been beaten.
& The La Cross Democrat does not like the
idea of nominating Democratic candi-
date for President at this early day; it
considres the policy bad one.
The afternoons are beginning to length
en-, but there will be no preceptable differ
ence in the mornings for three or four
weeks
For the draining of lands-Drink
whisky and spend all your time at the
saloons. This viii drain you of all your
lands in a very short time.
A man should never be ashamed to
own he has been in the wrong, which is
but saying, in other words, that he is
wiser to-day than he was yesterday.
1t is believed that the war in Europe
is simply bargain between King Will
liam and Napoleon to swap populations,
by getting all the Germans into France
and all the Frenchmen into Germany.
The Providence Or. L. } Journal has
the ''best of authority" for saying that
a comet Of large size will suddenly make
its appearance on the night of June 10,
1871, and during the next four weeks,
the fate oil the world viii be decided"
Some horse.en say that bleeding will
sometimes restore the sight to horse
partially blind. Not being well up in
equine matters we cannot endorse the as
sertion, but we do know that to open a
mans eyes you have only to bleed his
pockets.
A visitor at a certain city church says
he was tucked into back pew under the
gallery and no one thought to hand him
hymn-book. But they did not overlook
him when the collection was taken up.
Here is touching confession from the
editor of the Glens Falls New York J
Republican: Our THANKSGIVING turkey
was fine bird it had scales on its back
and was taken from barrel labelled "No
Mackeral E"
There Iay h,o,, i e
gentleman, but the prettiest and most pa
theic is that given by young lady. "A
gentleman, says she, lis human being
combining a woman's tenderness with a
man 5 courage
\ gentleman travelling by rail from
Philadelphia to New York accepted q
cigar from stranger, and discovered,
just in season to save himself, that it was
drugged This is new dodge to aid in
robbery In the cars.
\ young lady having read about a man
having invented a stove which will con-
sumo Its own smoke, hopes he will next
devise a method whereby tobacco smook-
ers can be run on the same economical
principle
The annual meeting of the Wisconsin
State Horticultural society will be held a
Madison, Feb. eth and Sth, opening Will
ali address by the Hon. Harlow S. Orion
of the State University.
That is mean man they tell of il
Portland, who makes practice of drop
ping into store every morning, readiai
his friend paper, pocketing it and Civ
ing it to another friend, who pays hin
half the subscription price for the privil
edge of reading ''his" paper.
-Dr. do Lewis ADVANCES the idea tha