The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-11-30
HOOKS AND EYES.

The latest things ou.-cats on the
back shed.
Liberal advertisers are the men who
"mcan business"
Two years revenue from the Alaska
postofce was S76.
Without leisure, says Buckle, there
can be no knowledge.
There are eight pin factories in the
United States, whose annual produc-
tion is 6,720 100000 pins.
There are in the United States III
blind persons over 100 years old; also.
. Ieaf and dumb, 7 insane and 8 idiots.
- Old shoes are thrown after newly
married people to try and convict them
that they have not been sold.
1t the patrons Of cheap boarding
houses are irresponsible, is it not be-
cause they have SO little at steak?
Difference between parsons ana hens
the former are clerical and the latter
lay.
A little terrier in Iowa ate a yeast
cake Next morning his master didnt
know him; he was as big as bulldog
One hundred and ten years ago there
was not single white man in Kentucky
Ohio, Indiana and Illinois.
The only men who think wei Of
misers are the expectant heirs, who
don't care how saving the fellow is.
Clay county, Indiana, produces So
900 tons of coal per month The opc.
rators complain that they cannot get
cars to transport their coal.
1t is said that the three lardes,
words of the English language to pro.
nonnce, consectively, are, 81 was mis-
taken"
Weston is going to settle down H.
Iowa, and gentle newspaper in thai
region hopes it will be six feet beneath
the soil.
An item in lawyers bill 10 his ellen
ran thus: TO lying awake at nigh
thinking over your Case, forty-tvr
dollars.
A Luzerne county postmaster has beer
retired ten years by the u. :.
Court for opening letter that did not
belong to him.
The Chicago papers say that th'
~warmest sympathy expressed for tha'
city was by the Connecticut woman who
contributed two strings of red peppers
A philosopher says, if you want IA
pair of boots to last four years. melt and
mix four ounces of mutton talIow. apply
while warm, place the boots in a ceset
eand q barefoot.
The Bureau of statistics think thar
the sales Of spiritnnus liquors in the
United States during the fiscal year
ending June 80, 1871. amounted to
six hundred millions of dollars.
Some single days over 100000
bushels of oysters have been taken from
the Chesapeake Bay, which is the
greatest oyster he'd in the world, and is
said to be inexhaustable.
An old lady gave this as her idea Of
"a great man: "One who is keerfu! of his
clothes. don't drink spirits, kin read the
bible without spelling the words, aud
eat cold dinuer on wash day without
.grumblpg,"
Alta Juvenile party one little fellow,
rejoicing in the splcndor of his clothes,
sided up to another with the triumphant
remark, You amt dressed as well as |
am" We'll" retorted the other, II
can lick you anyhow"
A Boston Yankee has invented fruit
preserving paper, and it is claimed that
actual tests have proved it to be a sure
protector against the decay of fruit, and,
in fact. all vegetable matter 1t is as
serted that the invention will preserve
fruit in transportation tor an indefinite
length of time
It is not generally known that the
knowledge which learned men possess
in regard to the surface OF the moon-
its mountains. valleys. plains, lava seas.
and the distance from point to points
probably more accurate than the knowl-
edge of the best geographers as to the
physical features OF the earth on which
we live.
An Irishman was seen in the trenches
before Vieksburg holding his hand
above the earthwork. His captain
asked, "What are you doing that for
Pat?" He replied with grin and work
ing of his fingers. "I'm feelin' for q
turlough sure" Just then a rife ball
struck his arm below the wrist. Slow
ly drawing it down, and grasping il
with the other hand to restrain the
blood, queer expression of pain and
humor passed over his face, as he ex'
rl-'m:a, "An' faith, it'sa aischarg a''