Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-06-17
"Don't Tell Betsey Janet"


"And for your life, don't tell Betsey
Jane!"
Mr.. Nicodcmus Harding, having uttered
this caution in low, earnest tone of voice,
aliyhted from Concord wagon in front Of
his own farmhouse door, and stood there q
few minutes in brown study, watching
the figure of his brother.in-law and the
lawyer, as he drove back towards the vii
lage of W, whence the two men
had just come.
Don't tell Bctsey Jane"
Now, Betsey Jane was Mr.. Nicodemus
IIarding's wife, stirring, notable soul,
who made more butter and cheese, and
take more eggs and fowls to market in the
course of season than any other woman
for miles around. Strong, healthy and
hearty, she made the house work fly, to
use her own energetic expression and if
Nicodcmus Harding owned his farm that
day, and was well.to.do, in fact rich man
to boot, it was owing in no small measure
to the skill and energy and general goa
headativcness of his Bctscy Jane. What
was it, then, that the ungrateful man was
not about to tell her !!
"It would never do, novcr!' thought
Nicodcmus to himself, shaking his head.
Shed be wanting a new carpet, or a new
silk gown, or the house all painted over,
or some such nonsense. No, the woman
is the weaker vessel, it won't do to trust
one too far Their heads won't bear it."
SO Mr. Nicodemus passed through the
house, and out toward the barn with the
pre- occupied air of hen who has an egg
to lay, and don't know where she can hide
it from the eyes of mankind to the best
advantage The kitchen was empty and
silent as he went through it. But oh! if
he could have seen the buxom, good look
ing female who stole silently out of the
pantry, and as silently followed him on
his way toward the barn.
Mrs. Harding came back in about
twenty minutes or so, with face red from
suppressed laughter.
"Don't tell Betscy Jane" she said,
siggling into her gingham apron. " You
are very smart man, Nicodemus, and my
brother, Tim Noyes, is another, and
lawyer in the bargain. Don't tell Betsey
Jane, indeed Two wretchcs, you deserve
| all you IL get, pretty soon
Betscy Jane said no more, but bided
her time A week passed away, and then
brother Tim's wagon drove up again to
the door, and Nicodemus stepped into it,
and was off to the village once more.
Bctscy Jane had asked in vain to 90.
Nicodcmus was bound on business
"busincss which a woman could not un-
4 ho lor;l,, nyol,;c,o,1 II,
lord and master, we'll out of sight, Betscy
Jane went about that business woman
could not understand, with a merry twinkle
in her bright black eyes
At4 p. NJ, Ncodcmus returned homo
again, looking quite as important as be-
fore. He tiptoed along through the
kitchen, Betscy Jane watching him from
the corner of her eye all the while. He
passed out into the shed. A fragrant
smell Of smoke came from it to greet him
an odor of burning corn CORDS gradually
curing ham, Nicodcmus turned deathly
pale, and ran frantcally forward to large
fire smoldering in the ash-house, and
large ham or two covered over by blankets,
hanging placidly there. The yell he gave
brought Betscy Jane from the house in
stantcr, to tiud Nicodemus grovelling be-
fore the ash house door, weeping and wall
ing and tearing his hair, and uttering
yell after yell of despair.
"Why, bless me! what's the matter?
Are you in fit? Let me run for the
camphor," shrieked Betsey Jane.
"Camphor Bring arsenic! Bring poi
son of some kiud-poison !" yelled Nico-
domus, frautically.
"Woman, you've ruined me- Twelve
thousand dollars in government bonds did
I put in that ash.hole for safety just
week ago, and now you've gone and burned
them to cook that cussed bacon. Pison
Pison Pison And let me get out of the
dreary world"
"Oh-so that was what you were not
going to tell Betsey Jane! Arn't you
ashamed of yourself, Nicodemus Hard.
ing?"
Nicodemus could not answer. He laid
PROSTATE in the ashes and howled.
"Get up and don't be q fool" said
Betsey Jane, amiably. II heard you
and brother Tim conspiring at the door
that day. aud watched you go the ash
hole, and soon found out what you had
hid away there. Woman is the weaker
vessel, no doubt, but she don't put twelve
thousand dollars where the first match
that comes handy can burn it up! Here
arc the bonds, Nicodemus-for ten thou
sand. I've kept two for my honesty"
Poor Nicodemus He gathered himself
up out of the ashes, aud took his bonds
what was left of them. He rather thinks
it pays best, on the whole now, to tell
Betsey Jane.