Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-06-15
t.s,nrfr JOKES.

A Vigilance Committe in Byran,
Wyoming Territory, waited ON man
they call Wild Bill, - and gave him fif-
teen minutes to leave town. ssBilp'
got on his mule and said, ssGentlemen,
if this mule don't balk, I don't want
five :" 1eg -ar1E
Flowers in the button hole are so
much the thing, you know, that New
York fancy stores now sell minute fat
bottles, imported from France, which
will hold a thimble full of water, and
are constructed to hook into the button
and hold the flowers. 2i Gone
A boy having complained to his
father that Bill had thrown the Bible
at him, and hurt him on the head, the
father replied: "Well, you are the on
ly membero of my family on whom the
Bible ever made the least impression.
'You and your wife should be one,"
said friendly adviser to hen-pecked
husband. "Be one!" exclaimed hen
pecked, 'Why, We are ten now.o3 p
''How so?" ''She is and lam o
A mild tempered man who had fall
en- on an icy pavement, picked him.
self up with the soliloquy: 81 don't
cherish the least ill-will, but for inter-
esting reading matter, recommend to
me tie obituary of tlie man who owns
that pavement"
A Bishop who love the weed, once
.dined with Admiral Farragut, and
after the dessert rendered a bunch of
HavaTias to the sailor with the Invita-
tion: Have cigar, AdmiraI?,,', 70,
Bishop, said the Admiral, with az quiz
zicaI glance, "I don't smoke ke-swear. q
little sometimes:RYEJs .IEVF
During a, recitation on natural his
tory in one of our well known colleges,
Iastudent in the pursuit of knowledge
concerning the habits of animals, said:
'sPrefessof, why does cat, while eating,
turn her head first one way and then
the, other way?" @For the reason, y
replied the professor, "that she can
To attempt to -mortify sin by out.
ward reformation is altogether as in.
congruous as if a man should lay. a plas.
ter upon his: clothes to cure aWOund in
his stomach. sskssNs
Observe what directions your
thoughts and feelings most readily
take you when you are alone, anu you
will then form q tolerably correct opin.
ion of your real state. .ds.l seisIi i3 .sas
Everysfn has a Satan in it, and rods
the soul of its beauty. Every sin hath
reason in it. 1t is an endeavor to car.
ry away some one or other of the crown
Jewels of heaven. ~ ~ f'A'
Mems happiness spring mainly from
moderate troubles, which afford the
mind healthy, stimulus, and are, fol
lowed by reaction which producesf
cheerful flow Of spirits. ,tz ~ -a.f1 -'sz
Poverty and riches are, mere imagi
tative, distinctions. The man whoscaI
eat his bread dry and be happy is Ger
tainly richer than he whoscan't eat..1n-
less it is spread with butter. no 9.e,
Asa flint contains spark, unknown
to. itself, which the steel alone car
wake into life, so adversely often re
veals to us hidden gems which, in pros
perity or negligence, would for eve
lay hid. 1@ Z'as -. = el"'i''a ~
"A troubled mind is often relieved BY
maintaining a. cheerful demeanor. I
The effort with draws its attention from
the cause of pain, and the. cheerfulness
which it promotes in others extends
sympathy to itself. A. 90 .9-.5 7.A 3
1 am sent to the ant to learn in
Gustry; to the dove to learn limo ocence;
to the serpent to learn wisdom; and
why not tho robin redbreast, who
chants it as cheerfully in winter as il
summer, to learn equanimity and pa
tience?-1 WdrTctck.i u sffaassfE ssifs'i 9