The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-31
FACTS AND FANcIEs.

The way to command respect and plen'
tyof room in crowd-cariy pot ofpainI
in each hand
Cousis.ency--ASking a blessing before
meat, and abusing the vic!uals through the
entire meal.
A New York paper describes how pa
per mill recently exploded" aud filled the
air with rags for miles around.
How to be happy on tlcchcap--Go with.
out your dinner and see how happy you
will be when supper-lino comes.
1n Dublin, witnesses who do not speak
loud enough are raped on the head BY the
Judge.
There arc over eleven millions horses in
the United States.
There is u melon patch in Indiana coy
cring 100 acres.
The latest dime novel is entitled the
Bloody howl Of the hidcous Forest"
Punch says the Emusic Of the future"
will DO played, Of course, by hands of
hope. J.
A boarlcr at hotel wanted his bill no.
llccd because no had two.tccth extracted.
An Irishmln calls his sweetheart honey,
because she is bee loved.
The best time 10 cut coru-whcn it
aches.
Gen. Custer is called "a magnificent
cavalry blonde"
A Virginia paper lcnounccs tho county
Judges in that State as little pushcd.up
asses"
The Washinton Star thinks that city
which cannot boast Of modern Borgia
cviuccs fearful lack of enterprise
a Massachusetts, boy cut off his young
sisters golden curls while she slept, to get
money with which toe to the races.
A New Hampshire farmer describes tho
hay crop by saying that "the grasshOppers
have all got lame in trying to jump from
'no blade of grass to another.
Throw bOquct aud a card Of thanks to
when you cant invite them in,
L you havnt card throw water pitcher
n bootjack.
"I'm not myself at all to-day" said
'orc to wit. mo matter for that" was
he reply. Whoever you be, you are
'ainer BY tho change"
Somebody has written a book entitled
What shall my son be?' Upon which
ONE one frankly replied: IF the boy is
S bad as the book, the chances are that
C will be hanged"
What is one mans loss is another mans
ain, as the fellow said when he saw man
talking before him drop bis pocket-book.
How does pitcher Of water differ from
man throwing his wife over a bridget
)ne is water in the pitcher, and the other
IS pitch her in the water.
Two young gentlemen in Richmond, Va,
ccuscd Of an intention to engage in duel,
lave been put under bonds to keep tue
,eace for one year.
Charles Lamb was fined the other day
for cruelty to COW, and at Chicago Miss
Christine Nilsson was married to Michael
Mallory Murphy.
A strict temperance man in Connecticut
would not let his horse drink out of pub
lie trough which had the word "bitters'
painted upon it by some peripatetic adver-
Using agent.
The wife Of resident Of Ulster county,
who one year ago elopcd with "feller"
laking their two children with her, return.
ed last week, and, after humbly begging
was again received into the
household Of her husband.
A boy was observed watching for wood
chuck to come out of his hole. "Do you
suppose you can catch him." said passer
BY. Catch hint" said the boy, contcmp.
tuously: give got to catch him, stranger;
we're out ofmcat.
Alta Sunday school in Ripon, q teacher
asked little boy ifhe knew what Sowing
taresn moont uNoprtb dooS ~ e,;l Lo