South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-06-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
LONG DR1NK-An hour glass.

A LONG DRNK-An hour glass.
ALoCK HARD TO PIcK-Lock jaw.
A PRETENDER TO THE CRowN-A CHG
non.
SHoRT-SIGHTED-A- draft payable on
| demand.
How TO GET ALONG WELL-Have it
dug deep.
TRADEsMEN often get their living by
various weighs. aarlzl5asss.
A TINE NOT TO RUN-When you are
sure you cannot be elected.
THE key to Darwin's theory which is
apeparent to all is-Mon-key.
WHAT word may be pronounced quicker
by adding two more letters to it?-Quick.
INSURE your life in the Washington to
the amount your farm is mOrtgaged for.
SOME one curious in figures has ascer-
tanned that the majority Of contagrations
originate in saloons. - s
If a miser dies of enlargement of the
heart, can it be said he died a natural
death i-ia fa
Why should spider be a good baseball
player? Because, naturally, it is an ex-
cellent fycateaer. s.-s.oJ5-. s -. q. 49,
THE Mutual Life, of Chicago, is one Of
the safest and most successful companies In
the country. r ~ si-e
SOMEBODY alludes to that peculiarly
impressive tread which nothing but are
turning jury in a murder trial has" So
HIS pill grimage is OYER" as the drug
gist's widow said when. she ordered an
epitaph for his tombstone. - @---t
IT has been ascertained that out of fif-
teen hundred salmon eggs, in the ordinary
course of nature only one produces a
mature salmon. If all the eggs laid were
to produce salmon, the ocean in half
century would be moving mass OF sal
mon .
A MONTEREY Mass blacksmith has
hen which has laid and Latched dozen
eggs on his forge, less than three feet from
the blazing fire. She was white when she
first took her station there, but the coal
dust and heat have changed her COM
plexion materially. - rr
A CERTAIN young gentleman, while nd
ing out with lady few days since, was
suddenly reminded by her that he was on
the left side of the vehicle instead of the
right, as is usual The intelligent youth,
in order to correct his mistake, immediate
ly turned the horse and buggy completely
around and drove in the opposite d1rec-
ton
RATHER a good story is told of the
former Miss Lane while she was the charni-
ing mistress of the Executive Mansion
A photographer, in New York, presented
her with an album, superbly bound, con-
tain forty-two different views Of Miss
Lane. Jones remarked, on seeing 1t one
day, that it was the most miscellaneous
book he had ever seen.
SACRAMENTO, Cal, has a horse be-
fore which Dexter will have to bow In
humiliation, according to California ac-
counts. 1t is claimed that the animal the
other day, after trotting half around the
mile track on the Sacramento Park, made
the last half mile in :07; that keeping
rioht on, he trotted the third half on re-
duced time, when he was again put to hls
sneed. and came under the wire for the
fourth half mile in ~. The horse IS
said to be a st. Clair, and though for
season in the butcher business, IS now con-
sidered good for 10, or even little less
at pinch.
Or the quaint sayings of Father Taylor,
many old and some new ones are nndlng
their way into print. To a prayer meet
mo which had lust been told that repent
ance was never too late, for sinner blown
mn in a 11owder mill could make his peace
with heaven before he fell to the earth,
Father Taylor said, Do not trust in such
A chance. brethren; don't wait for your
diving hour before you repent; perhaps
you never will be blown up In a poWoer
mill" -a ~
f. A CURIOUS naturalist undertook 10
watch a spider one day, to see how mucn
he could accomplish in the way OF eaung.
About daybreak he went to su2piy tne
spider with a fine fly for breakfast put
found the creature already teastlng OIL OIL az
-earwip. The spider left the earwig, rolfed
up the fly in his web, and then returned
to his first course" which occupied HIM
a couple of hours. After taking nap he 3
demolished the fly Later IN the morning
daddy-long-legs was supplied, when iasted
tin noon. Then followed a blow-fy for
relish. Scores Of small green flies, termed
midges, were caught in the web, which the
spider finally rolled up together and ate,
web and all, with coed appetite.