Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1871-02-23
ALL SORTS.


, izens suffrage singers"
An imaginary quantity-A lady''
age. ~ .-. a
, Exceptions from the general rule
Bachelors,
Il, A fair woman is the most beauti
full of house ornaments.
II The mitten that never fits-the
one obtained from your latly-loye.
4 The man who sat down on pa
lper of carpet nails, said they remind
ed him of the income tar.
/ Signs of the spring-signs in the
store windows announcing "winteI
stock selling at cost"
| A man in Belmont, Wisconsin,
killed hen, the other day, and
found SIS worth of gold in her giz-
zard. IL .-g .L =
| A down-east editor wishes the
man who predicted a mild winter
would send him two tons of coal.
At recent Connecticut funeral,
the carriages lost the way, not being
able to keep up with the hearse.
Blonde chignons are retailed at
twenty-five dollars an ounce in Chi
cago. so it's announced. They're
sold by measure in New York.
A lady's dressmaker Mortified her
the other day by telling her she
would ''cut her body out" in the
course of the afternoon.
Love, in its varied phases, can on
ly acquire purity or dignity when
guided by an inward power over
ourselves; that is in itself the very
germ of virtue.
81 am going to the post-oflice,
Bob; shall 1 enquire for you"
"Well, yes, if you have a mind to,
but don't think you will find me
there"
A lady, who was not Shaksperian
scholar, hearing the 'Merry Wives
of Windsor highly praised, inquir-
ed how many wives Mr.. Windsor
had.
1t is stated on reliable authority
that there is no foundation whatever
for the assertion that Congress is
about to declare "Shoo fly na-
tional lyric.
A sharp young woman says there
is nothing more touching in this
life than to see a poor but virtuous
young man struggling with a weak
moustache.
A raptured writer enquiries, "What
is there under the heaven more har-
monizing, or if we may use the term,
more angelizing, than fine black
eye in a lovely woman?" Two black
eyes is the ready answer.
The trustees of the female high
school at Newburyport, put in new
heating apparatus lately, and fired
up to see if it would thoroughly
warm the building. 1t did; and the
trustees advertised for proposals to
build new school l-house where that
one stood.
Gov. Merrill, of Iowa, on lately
addressing the inmates of the State
Penitentiary, began with the awk-
ward remark that "he was glad to
see so many there" He afterward
took it all back with as good a grace
as possible.
A countryman stopped at a tele-
graph window where young lady
was receiving dispatches, and, after
looking on moment, called to his
companion, "Say, Bill, just come
here and see 'em making paper col
lars! Don't she know her biz. eh,
Bill?"
A gentleman learned in the origin
of social customs was asked what
was the meaning of casting an old
shoe after a newly-married couple
as they started on their trip. Said
he, 'sTo indicate that the chances of
happiness in matrimony are very
slippery.
A young gentleman, after having
paid his addresses to young lady
for some time, popped the question.
The lady, in most frightened man.
ner, said: "You scare me, sir"
The gentleman did not wish to scare
her,and consequently remained quiet
for some time, when she exclaimed:
"Scare me again"
A gentleman of Halifax, being at |
a ladies' fair not long since, and be- |
ing solicited to buy something by a
fair creature who kept one of the |
tables, said he wanted to buy what |
he feared was not for sale-a lock of |
her hair. To his surprise and de-
light she promptly cut off the COW
eted curl and received the price of
fered-ten dollars. The happy pur-
chaser was exhibiting his trophy to
one of his friends, who very sudden
ly blasted his joy by saying, "She
rather outflanked you, for, to my
certain knowledge, she only paid SO
for the whole wig"
A gentleman residing in Bedmin-
ster township, New Jersey, has for
many years been collecting, and has
carefully preserved, such clothing
and relics of the revolutionary peri
cd and anterior as could be found
among the old families of his neigh
borhood and elsewhere. Among
his curiosi.ies are coverings for the
heads of both men and women.
comprising almost everything known
in that line, from the old leather
helmets of some of the New jersey
militia to the huge amounts of hom-
bazine, or what not, yclept bonnets,
and worn by our grandmothers, to
which name is now distinctively |
added the expressive adjective
poke"
A little girl recently wandered on
the track of the Delaware Railroad
us freight train of nineteen cars
was approaching. As it turned the
sharp top of the grade, opposite St.
Georges, the engineer saw the child
for the q rot tina hlour s1lou, hrnl-ns