The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-03

OF tho Dispensers OF Drink-Canvassing
FOR votes-The Guzzliny, Gorging
and Gazing at Woolwich-sigaa
Of National Degradation.
| LONDON, Sept. 30, 1871.
John Bull IL never truly absolutely and irredeeui-
ably ridiculous and beasty save when he sets about
enjoying himself Just now he is enjoying himself
near London on the occasion given by the shrewd
keeper OF o elnmll. who gathers grist 10 the said
mill BY 'bar maid show" which is greater than
the dog show or the cat show or even all The baby
shows together
| Is an institution In London. Bonface discovered
II, reared It tenderly aud regards It with the
warmest affection. The barmaid OF the nineteenth
century as seen IN London. Is In sense the most
attractive OF women. Cay, aGable, well looking
dressed Ike q lndy and bejewellei like q duchess
she listens TO the slllcst stun with the sweetest
grace and prattes suggestive nonsense TO every man
IN her dominion. The bygone days. when sand glis-
tened on the floor and men ate iurlvely In gloomy
boxes, when the waiter was bully and the landlord
eyed every visitor with suspicion there was still
some comfort In the thought that freedom might be
regalned on the threshold Far otherwise IL It now.
You may be able to withstand the works OF art that
Ill the awkward corners OF the room; you may not
to gaze on the pictorial ferocitics that glaro
on you from every side; you may resist
the agile suavlty OF the flames, but there Is
no escape from the lady at the bar. Here
young Rusticus is spelbound. Here the cosmopoli.
| tan fingers In easy satisfaction. Here the swift
| going city man can spare i've minutes. And when
departure Is made OF all the gores OF the place the
feature not forgotten is that pretty saucy,
! civil, bedizened designer VINO made every man
think himself the favorre. Like most attractions
in this world little maid must not be looked av
/ too closely
| sMIRKs AND SMILES.
Is o smile less pleasing because 1t has profess
sional universaItys You must remember 1t does
not pretend to be other than it is. You sec half q
hundred men enjoying the samed favor, ana II you
! don't like 1t the TACT argues your own susceptl
! hllity and proves tho potency OF the charm. And
this Is the very result for which mine host has bar
gained.
now THE RARMAID Is CHOSEN:
lie sought out this little lady from hundred
Others who sent him u hundred cGJtes de- uisfit, q
hundred letters of recommendation ana q hundred
/ nyEns OF self praise, couched In very bad English
and amentably deficient in photography. have
! heard or landlords who submitted q score of por-
traits to their best customers, ana the verdict
| cided the competition. have heard OF customers
| who sought ingratiatlon into favor by plead
| Ing that they had voted for the lady
| ana won her the appointment after a most exciting
contest Doubtless something OF this kind Will be
rite in London during the next week or two o.
| course you have heard OF the fourteen.day contest
which we have had at WOolwch.
QUESTION OF NATIONAL IMPORT.
sanguinary contest OF AidursSot. and has moi
cost millionth part q the money. The
ser a pqs s md ns
can always calculate ON English happiness wherever
you give physical delights. Give them plenty to cal
ND nj wi and vuJsa oil 10
feed them again, and you must succeed This is Just
what the originator OF the great barmaid contest
done II. He advertised for lfsy barmalds VINO
had been twelve months engaged In smiling
by receipts or custom; who were prepared 70 be
stared at ty whatever MOB might find eighteen
liked to spend; who by attire. courtesy aud all tue
| other harmless euphonisms for harmful blandish-
| go home contented with G2J watch and the chance
Of q three weeks ovation. don't know
| WHAT TAKES PEOPLE TO wooLwIcH
when there Is no harmaid contest; ana, even with
It, don't think anybody was ever there twice IL
In such place the gardens Must be the universal
resort There is iecDe attempt at beauty all over
these two acres. AL night .he trees are Illuminated
with tawdry-coored llttc pots, winch d,my reflect
the asthmatic light afforded ny nurky lamps. There
there swings In which you find the London glri
whrling irrespective Of elect there little lakes
and sham city in the background which Is stormed
| on special occasions and taken with great 6ciat
BtlL t0rrr are places 10 WHICH all Corners
| rlaby betake themselves
THE DANCE BOARD, THE BALLROOM AND THE MAZE.
at one end and an orchestra at the oer inc bal BAH
room Is that In which the barmaid contest held
BY gypsy wnen was there paid my pcay ' and
declined to hear my fortune. TWO young ladies',
and that person suggested mat should pay ior tie
ladies' admission. dared not refuse twopenny
50 pix know aSa n
! My companions were maniiestly persons OF expc-
Renee not Increased gs BY modes.y, possessed Of an
most vouble eoquence. Quite naturally did one
young lady take my arm and quite naturally did she
OF inc path. or course VIC lost the way, and OF
course this MADE great fun; and then the gypsy
| called. and OF course the gypsy must be tipped for
'' TnB Nur.pRows MAID
! Everybody Is o maid herej cunntngy conducted MS
10 little nut n the centre, and here there
trio OF appeals for fortunes TO be told. have heard
| OF my good luck OFTEN ana found II so seldom
that l am now proof against the prettiest gypsy
that ever lived and my present propnetess was not
haste to follow. SO lost my way my temper aud
NJ time AM came oatn at last IN tne ne, detection o.
! were gone. bes0ok myself 10
TIE CONTEST.
saw young lady a. ever nar' looking rs bean,
! smiling, now looking sad, suggesting to you now
neglected yon were; the tall ones Walking up and
tent on making you captive and snatcning The
voting paper when you carried IN your hand
have often observed how snee pishly men look when
they IND hundred female eyes upon them. Here
IN this room the men all hung about
the door. they had paid slxpence to come
IN, ana yet could get no farther. One
gentleman noticed, tall, sef-possessed wholly I'M
concerned. lie stayed not moment aI the door.
swept the room ct glance ana sauntered on. am
certain he came from the New World. Everybody
envIed his nonchalance, and wondered admIringy
as he looked IRON one competitor to the other took
all their Invitations ns matters Of course and
smoked with gentle benignity. Whether the honor
Of the English nation was deemed TO be ENDANGERED
by the stranger cannot say but very soon snail
band OF half dozen yentured OH march. gided
/ IN the rear,
| CANyAssiS0 FOR A VOTE.
! Very soon maiden nodded To me with gaiety
that nothing but acquaintance could Justify. felt