The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1871-09-22
A BOYS Advice TO Old Men.

cannot pick up newspaper without
"Advice to Boys" stares me in the face.
Old men write it, / s'pose. Nobody
else is capable of giving advice to boys,
of course not! They know all about
us, they do, cause they have been there.
Advice is a good thing to have, no
doubt, and no family should be without
it, but a feller don't want to be cram
med with it all the time to the exclu.
sion of all other diet.
Now old men need advice OCCASION
ally, but in looking through the papers,
l don't see that they get it, so lust
thought / would write little "Advice
to Old Men" myself if / am not pre-
suming too much-as Aunt Chloe says
and presume l am.
In the first place you old chaps ought
to get over telling how much smarter
boys were when you were boys, than
boys are now. You believe it yourself,
of course, cause you've said it so many
times, but We boys can't see it. We
have notion that boys are boys, pretty
much, Except that some are girs-the
world over, and one Generation of them
don't lay over another generation to
any alarming extent.
Only let you tell it, and you could
out-run, out,jump, Out-wrestle, and out
anything else the rising generation of
to-day, when you We're boys. Grand
father, who has got the gout and five or
six different kinds of rheumatism, is
always saying that 81 would 1 were a
boy again." would he were too. If
couldn't beat him running, and flop
him on his back, side holt, / don't
want a cent
l wouldn't 60 so far as to say, I" Par
ents obey your children" but would
suggest to fathers that they give us
hearing occasionally on matters in
which we are the most interested. DO
not make US slide down hill when we
want to skate, and don't try to make
preachers of us when we much prefer
to run saw mill. This is figurative,
but | guess you know what l mean.
After giving us boys sage advice
about our cocduct, and how to behave,
you old men ought to be careful how
yod get to relating your boyish scrapes
to each other and laughing about them
before we are out of earshot. The other
day grandfather read me long lecture
about the rights of property, temper
ance and Sunday breaking.
That night an old crony Of his'n came
to visit him and they had glass of
punch together. They thought l was
asleep on the sofa, and the way they
went on about the fun they had when
they We're boys together. They told all
about robbing Capt. .Lyman's melon
patch, and it turned out it was Sun
day night, too! When ! went to bed
they were taking their third glass of
punch, and l don't know how many
more they had after that. | know
grandlather's rheumatism was a deal
worse the next day, and he complained
about his liver. Old men ought to be
careful about taking too much punch.
i know how old men hate TO give in
That they can't stand as much as they
used to, or as much as young men can.
They get madjf fellow hints that they
can't. But what is the use of foolipg
yourselves? We have all got to give
out some day, AMI when a man feels he
is losing grip, why not come down and
acknowledge the corn
Now, in the above remarks do not
mean any disrespect. / like old men
in their place, but l don't want too
much of their advice. Give the boys a
chance.