The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-03-11
VARIOUS ITEMS.

Hampshire. They are supplied with
every comfort that experience suggests,
and spend their time in making observa-
tions upon the state Of the weather They
converse with their friends and receive
the news transpiring by means of the
telegraph. On last Sunday morning, at 8
o'clock, they report that the thermometer
stood at SO degrees below zero, with the
wind outside blowing at the rate Of one
hundred miles an hour. In the interest
of science this is commendable, but such
intense cold must be disagreeably un-
pleasant.
About twenty couples in New Orleans
have been greatly shocked upon learning
that clerk in Judge Shelly's Office
forged the name of the Judge to their
marriage licenses, and appropriated to
his own use the money they paid there
for. They do not quite know whether
they are legally married or not, but some
OF the ministers who performed the GER
monies have been made aware of the
| trouble, and express their willingness to
bunch the business if called upon.
1t church dedication in Newport,
New Hampshire, recently, Rev. Ira Pear
son, who offered the dedicatory prayer
fifty years ago, performed the same SER
vice in the new sanctuary, and it was
aseertained that fifty three persons were
present who attended the dedication fifty
years before, in the former house.
A blind farmer residing in Chenango
county, New York, near Norwich, has
twenty-four daughters. He has been
married but once, and his wife is still
living. They are wealthy, and as a fam
t ile,a dol
happiness.
The admirers of the editor of the New
Orleans Picayune have presented him
with house. 1t is three and half
feet arond lengthways, and two and
three-quartcrs feet in circumference, and
was formerly teuanted by wasps.
A Church deacon in Texas, has got to
be hauled over the Goals for threatening
to knock the nose off the sexton. The
sexton had too many cards in is sleeve
in game OF draw poker.
Some sinner has stolen the thermometer
frt m the Fond Du Lac Reporter office
The paper informs the thief that it will
be of no use to him where he is going, as
it does not work higher that 3l3.
, Cheap jewelry-A dime and pin.
4 good citizen of Middletown, Conn,
, who was annoyed at seeing men at work
with their teams near church on Sunday,
went to a justice to enter complaint, and
/ found him mending his boots
: Apropos of the effects of a diet of
horsefesh, excuse is being found for the
Paris National G yards, WHO ran away at
e Crctiel, on the plea that they had lately
! been fed exclusively on race-horses.
D.. i L
wearing five bands of Grape upon his hat,
which constantly reminds her that she is
the sixth sharcr Of his affections.
boy who once offered dog for sale
was asked the breed of the pup. 'sHe
tcas a pointer" replied the youth, ..bu:
. father cut off his ears and tail and made
bull dog of him.
4 girl of twenty. at Altoona ILL.,, is dig
; eing a well for her father at scventy-fv
cents a foot. She has received three
offers of marriage since she began. To
which VIC say, .'Alls well that ends
WE'LL
j s'Mamna,' said an intelligent little
girl, "what is the meaning of book
being printed in 12mo z" .'Why my
/ DEAR replied the mother, sit means that
the book will be published in twelve
months
A paper has an article headed with
the conundrum, .Why do wives fade 2
: We suppose it is because they won
!. wash. Isn't it?
: A farmer, writing to the secretary Of
an agricultural society, says: '.You viii
have the goodness to enter me on you
= list of cattle for a bull"
a young lady, upon one occasion, re
quested her lover to define love. ''Well
Sail, said he, cit is to me an inward
: impossibiity and an outward alover
ness.
d An editor, speaking of a rough, says
s'The rascal has broken every bank ant
Jail and Sabbath we have had in this
country for the last five years.
Chicago is in the sulks because young
r lady has presumed to lecture it on mar
2 riaSe and divorce when she has triet
Il neither. She is told that there are am
e number of people in Chicago who hav,
a tried both
J At a lecture given in Frank fort, Indi
: ana, not long since, the tickets read
J. blessed are the pure in heart, for the,
> shall see God. Admit one"
? A sign in Red Bank N j reads thus
: 'New maids and old maids clothin.
: always on hand
!. What medicine are we reminded of b,
IS mans beating his wife ? Elixir (h,
;. licks her.
e fla hole made in a wall by cannon
is ball IS called breach, would two suel
z holes make pair f
II One Of the most successful planters il
e Wisconsin is widow who has just burie.
&c her sixth husband
Making waist places glad-Puttin;
your arm around pretty girl. Bring OF
u all your waist places.
% The New Jersey Legislature has rati