Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1871-1872, 1871-09-08

N'TtTVU LNVTVH7I! TOT IHI Argus
SELF ACCUSATION.

by W. NY. B~URDETT.

Yea? They loved one snother-dearly /.
They had frat met b. my own instru-
mentality. ! think e trger love than that
which Nellie Rene bore to Josepeh Agar
never existed
am an old man now, with very few gray
hairs left on my white head to tell anyone
that l ever was young, and have loved. For
have ~loved-mad!y shink 20 ease M
self of that black secret by writing it in
characters, scarcely as dark, upon THE
snowy paper, which is stained by telling my
wicked sin.
loved Nellie Rene. She did not know
ii, and nv friend Joe asking me innocensIy
10 LEI him meet hsr-I was living with M
parents then-ss my hoase, / consented.
| oitsn look into my ~i;hersd old heart
nov, snd wonder how | ever could have
loved for al is bleak and cold there, nov,
aud foreign to any emotion, save remorse.
"Miss Reme-mg friend Joe Agar: Jop
Agar, Miss Rene" i we'll rememos the
CLEAN that Shot out Of her eyes, oE tha, first
Introduction, for she wAs high spirited, and
OF very quick f~selings-I can Judge them
all dispassionstely now-and tho cold dis
trussful look which Joe gave her Joe had
never loved before. Il WAS summer, and !
oslI to mind bow, frss they met as it were
by chance, and then by some Iittis srtifoe
on either side and lastly, how they were
betrothed lovers, walking in the cain cool
twilight, breathing soft tales of love. They
were selfish They must have been selfish.
! take it as balm to myself now, that they
were for in their trusting love they were
so bound up and centred in each other that
they took no notice at ell ofme, who followed
her as assiduously as ne did. One night
when they were walking in the plot of
m~esdowland below my fathers house, they
seated themselves on a low bank, at the foot
of & thick thorn hedge, and ] crept behind
them and listened, wishing to hear them
whisper words Of love, to fire my soul withal
and give me that glutted feeling of mingled
love and hatred, which was day by day be
SpA1AAh ~ a ~ ANNs obB Woh tCaAAhE
her how much and dearly he loved, and
with her lovely head bent DER the trembling
fingers that were toying with her watch
chain, she Was listening and smiling. All
At once he stopped, and with q moments
hesitation said "Nellie, darling, did you
never love before ?' She SMILED coquet-
tishly "Oh yes" abe said my heart has
always been susceptible when l was seven
l used to adore a great bearded foreigner
who went to our church. Butt have never
i have not loved as nor Joe. Have
yoU 2' ~? Really IL, what q strange
question" Z
II was moonlight, and / saw The quick
glance she gave, straight up to his face, a,
these words, and sew the uneasy look and
dark flush with which he met it | knew
the real and indeed harmless cause Of that
emotion but it joyed me, for hH ha!
would work upon it! When they shortly
afterwards left ! crept away and went home
TO my chamber. On looking in the mirror
was startled to see the 6endish expression
of my couutenAnoe. No matter PerhapI
was-perhNps ! am. This would no
do. My face must not tell tales. / wal
able to steel my heart, and command the
tones OF my voice. / tried NV voice thar,
and then, and sang a ballad remarkable e.,
the feeling which 1t required. suoceedsd
my voice was quite calm, calm enough /,
tell q lie. II was very sweet in ,bosa dav,
/ was Of = very strong will, and 40 7 drov
the tell tale look from out nv face Darb. =
it took the deeper hold upon my hear
Anyone who has felt jealousy muat Lno,
my statsof mind, and those who have had r.
vsnge must know the hardnessi it needs
enable one to stand by and watch the pr
rress of ones work. / did not hate 10
No, that was not in my nature. l locke
upon him merely as an intruder, who con-
not help falling in love with her. But did
lore Nellie2 Oh yes, I must have done
Though at times / thought i hated her, b
cause she did not love me. ! was to prou
to tell my love when / knew she did not lov