The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1871-11-02
Perkins Has the Toothache.
BY CYRUS d. PERKINS.

When | went to bed that night, | APP
pretended trouble. Along one jaw, the
left one, occasionally capered grumbling
sensation. 1t kept me awake an hour or
80 trying to determine whether that was
all there was of it, or whether there was
something to come after, that would need
my wakeful presence to contend against.
Thus pondcring, [ fell asleep, and forgot
all about the trouble | don't know how
long | slept, but | fell to dreaming | had
made a match for $50 side to fight
cross cut saw in steam mill, and was
well to work on the job, when the saw
got my head between its teeth. / thought
this was favorable time to wake up, and
| did So 1t Immediately transpired that
| might better have stayed where | was,
and taken the chances with the saw.
found myself sitting straight up in
bed with one hand spasmodically grasp
ing my jaw, and the other swayng to and
fro without any apparent cause.
1t was an awful pain. 1t shot round
like dog that had been cruelty cam
phened. 1T bored like lightning through
the basement of of my jaw, darted across
the roof of ny mouth, and then ran
lengthwise of my teeth. If every pang
had been drunken plough chased by a
observer would understand my condition.
could no more get het hold of the fear
full agony that was cavorting around in
me, than | could pick up piece of wet
soap when in great hurry.
Suddenly it stopped. 1t went, giving
me parting kick that fairly made me
howl.
l thought was rid of the teethache,
but grumbling set in next morning. 1t
was just like the feeling of the night be-
fore and a still voice said to me, "Look
out, Perkins
l did. | went right away to the dentist
who has pulled the teeth of our family
and knew our peculiarities There was
an uneasy smell about his Office. 1t was
very suggestive Of trouble, and as | snuff
fed 1t in experienced a sinking feeling
in the pit of my stomach. | looked at
him, and sickly smiled. He was never
even on a holiday, the handsomest oi
men but now his appearance was very,very
depressing He looked like corpse with
lighted candle inside of it.
/ told him what the matter was with
me, how that had been up all night
with fourstory pain how my wife had
been thrown out of bed by the violence
Of my suffering how
He asked me if ! wouldn't sit down
[ sat down on what was once a hogshead
but now cut down and newly carpeted-
/ He held back my head, opened my mouth
and went to fishing around inside with
watch spring.
And while he angled, he conversed.-
Said he
"You have caught terrible hard cold. .
Il have"
cit seems the trouble is with one Of the
bicuspids."
Of course I didn't know what bi
cuspids was, but l thought it wouldn',
look well in the head of the family being
struck with so short word as that, so
asked, with some vigor:
(Which one %
'The humorous" said be.
81 am glad it amt any worse" | re
piled, throwing sigh Of relief.
1.-The frontal bone is not seriously af
fected The submaxilary gland is some
what enlarged but it does not necessaril,
follow that parotitus will ensue."
II am proud to hear that" said, /
which [ certainly was, although if tn
parotitis had ensued it is not at all like
ly that | should have minded it much
unless 1t was something that would spill
as | was dressed up in my best
He kept on talking and angling.
"The esophagut inst loose" he mex
remarked.
"Ah," said L winking at him.
ooh no, the ligaments are quite firm
| might say"
"Did it hurt you 2" he asked, as coz
and clam as the lid of an ice cream ire'
ger.
"Hurt me Great Heavens, did yo
expect to split me open with watc
spring, and not have it hurt me? VIII;
was the matter-d;d you slip Z"
"Certainly not" he said, 81 was siml
ly getting hold of the tooth. just hol
your head back an instant, and will hav
it out at once"
81 guess | wont try it agar" said
6 with shiver. "The toothache is ba
, enough, but it is heaven alongside Of thi
, watch spring. Yon may come up SON
! time, and pull it out when ANITA hom
| think could endure the operation if
was off about eight blocks. Come u
when you can