The St. Cloud journal., 1871-10-26

sometimes directing them against 9th
ers' and smiling as they flashed or
misunderstanding that against him.
self they were utterly powerlcss and
harmless Knowing, too, perhaps, that
were it otherwise, he had only to tread
them out under foot, and step aside
from the ashes, with the same un-
moved, easy smile.
L never knew-nor know I to this
day, whether [ was dear to him or not.
Useful l vas, I think, and pleasant, 1
believe, possibly he liked me little
as the potter likes bis clay and the
skilful mechanician likes his tools
until the clay hardened, and the fine
tools refused to obey the masters hand.
was the brilliant West Indian heir
ess' l did not marry. Why should [?
At my house-at least it was called
mlne-all sorts and societies met, carry
ing on their separate games the quiet,
soft hand of NJ. Anastaslus playing his
game-ln. aud under, and through
them all. Mingled with this grand game
OF the world was lesser one-to which
ne turned sometimes, just for amuse
ment, and because he could not cease
from his metier-a simple, easy, d.
nestle game, of which the battledore
was that said white hand, and the shut
tie cock ny foolish child's heart.
Thus much have I dilated on him,
and my own life in the years when all
Its strong wild current flowed toward
him; that, in what followed when the
tide turned, no ono may accuse me of
hckleness, or causeless aversion, or in
sane terror of one who after all was con.
ly man, whose breath is in bis nostrils."
AT seventeen I was wholly passive
In his hands; he was my sole arbiter
of right and wrong-my conscience
almost my God. AS my character ma
tured; and, in few things, I began to
Judge for myself, We had occasional
slight differences begun on my part,
IN shy humility, continued with vague
doubt, but always ending in penitence
and tears. Since one or other erred, of
course it must be I. These differences
were wholly on abstract points of truth
or justice.
It was his taking me to the ball at
the Tuileries, which was given after
Louis Napoleon Bonapartc had seized
the Orleans property, and it was my
watching my Cousins conduct there,
which made me first question, in trem-
bling, terrified way-like one who
catches glimpse of the miracle-making
priests hands behind the robe of the
worshiped idol-whether, great as NJ.
Anastasius was as political ruler, as a
man of the world, as faithful men,
Der Of the Society Of Jes us, he was al
together so great when viewed beside
any one of those whose doctrines he
disseminated, whose faith he professed.
He had allowed me the New Testa-
ment, and 1 had been reading in it a
good deal lately. I placed him, ny
spiritual guide, first in generating love,
then, with curious marvelling, com.
parison, beside the fishermen of Galilce
beside-reverently be it spoken-be-
side the Divine Christ
There was certain difference.
The next time we came to any argu-
ment-always on the abstract questions
for my mere individual will never
had any scruple in resigning to his
instead Of yielding and atoning, ceased
the contest, and brought it afterwards
privately to the one infallible rule OF
right and wrong.
| The difference grew.
Gradually, I began to take my cous-
ms wisdom perhaps, even his virtues
with certain reservations, feeling that
there was growing in me some antago-
nistic quality which prevented my full
sympathy with both.
"But, " I thought, che is Jesuit ;
he follows only the law of his order,
which allows tenporizing: and di iplom-
atising, for noble ends. He merely
dresses up the truth, and puts it 10 the
most charming and safest light, even as
We do our Images Of the Holy Virgin,
using them for the alteration of tho
crowd but ourselves worsbiping them
still. do believe, Euch as he will dan
die and play with the truth, that, not for
his hope of Heaven, would Anastasius
stoop to lie."
| One day, he told me he should
bring to my saloons an Engllshman,
his relative, who had determined on
leaving the world and entering the
priesthood.
"Is be of our faith 2" asked I, in
differently.
"He is, from childhood. flo has
strong, fine intellect; this, under fit
guidance, may accomplish great things.
Once Of our Society, he might be NY
right hand in every Court in Europe.
You will receive him ?'
"Certainly."
But I paid very little heed to the
stranger. There was nothing about
him striking or peculiar. He was the
very opposite Of NJ. Anastasius. Be.
sides, he was young: and had learnt
to despise youth-my guardian was fif.
ty years old.
| NJ, C.1k..~.