The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-12-12
A Bashful Mans Troubles.

IN lauleS society, Sldii inereiy speak Oh
those that befell me at the only dinner in
Paris to which was invited.
Though laden with Introductory letters
never delivered but one.
pass by the various efforts made be-
fore could muster sufficient resolution to
deliver o., the letter that procured for
me, and a friend who came with me, the
dinner in question. pass by too, my trep-
idation at the everlasting peal at which
the door-bell responded to my timid touch.
pass by also, several minor blunders, such
as asking the porter to direct us to la
chambre de Misunderstanding, of course,
her drawing room. Suffice it to say that
my less nervous companion, dictionary in
hand, boldly led the way that having trav-
ersed goodly number of courts and stairs
we at length arrived safely at an ante-room,
where stood servant before pair of fold
ing doors, which he threw wide open, and
announced us by pair of names that we
never should have recognized as our own,
had we met them elsewhere.
Already agitated, and perspiring with
nervous trepidation, this ostentatious mode
of entrance, so different from the republ-
can simplicity to which was accustomed,
was the finishing blow to my courage. |
skunk silently behind my unabashed COM
panion, endeavoring to muster sufficient
resolution to control the tremor that shook
me like an ague fit. Madame o. rose
to receive us and as we approached her
it became necessary for me to deploy from
behind my friend. But in so doing, l did
notice large pet dog who comfortably
stretched on a red velvet cushion, lay nap
ping beside his mistress, directly in my
path. On l went, anxious only to get
through the Introductory ceremonies as
soon as possible, and then seek some re-
mote corner where,
"The world forgetting, by the world forgot,
/ might escape all notice or remark"
But truly says the proverb, "Man pro-
fortunate were their dispositions for my in
tention. AS l fastened on, all glowing
with confusion, and begun my bow,
stumbled over the detested pet, and was
suddenly precipitated head foremost, like
an ancient battering ram, into the lap of an
elegant young lady, whom the Fates would
have sitting in that particular spot. In my
headlong career, ! overturned country
man of my own, who was seated next to
her, balancing himself on the two, hind legs
of his chair. To save himself, he instantly
grasped the back of her chair, and his
weight at her rear, acting at the same time
that l was hurled at her in 'front.' decided
all hesitation, and over we all rolled to-
gether, the chairs uppermost. The vile
cur, who had been at the bottom of the
whole mischief taking advantage of the
opportunity, now attacked me in the rear,
in highly effective manner, and receiving
a hearty kick in return, added his internal
bowling to the chorus of dismay that now
6lled the apartment.-Elappily the female
sufferer in the melee, engrossed all the
sympathy and attention of the company,
but well knew that in the short time
which had elapsed since entered the room,
had made three mortal enemies, of lady,
man and a dog
For my own part, as soon as / had ex-
tracted myself from the terrible crash,
retreated into the most remote and obscure
corner, there to hide behind the guests my
overwhelming modification.
The call to dinner seemed to offer relief
to my embarrassment, for / hoped that
would engross every ones attention, which
now was sure, must be occupied with my
awkwardness.
Following the company into the dining
room, saw each plate contained a card,
on which was written the name of the guest
who was to occupy that place. Every one
seemed to find his own place, as if my mag.
ic but for me-four or five times did ]
make the circuit of the table, looking in
vain for mine. Indeed, ] might have CON
tinued running about unnoticed, among
the crowd of servants, all dinner time, baC
not Madame O--'s eye at length detected
me as | crcled round and round with hys
teIically increasing rapidity, eyes dim witt
confusion, anda clammy perspiration oozinl
from every pore guided to my proper place
sunk into my chair exhausted with NOR
tification. Here again | found myself EN-
barrasscd with my hat, which, having oh
served that all retained in their hands il
the drawing-room, still grasped with des
perate tenacity. This at length dispose'
of, as thought at the time, with wonder
full ingenuity, for hung it by the brim be