davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31

Couuudrums for the Curious.
When is water like fat2 When its
dripping!la ~ f1hI0 80 lHla ehDAil
What color is bucket2 A rather. pale
(paiD color.
When is a penny like a hermit2 When
it's a loan (alone.)
When is black dog not black dogY
When it S greyhound.
When is a cat like a teapot2 When
you re teasin it teas in it.) ! li Atltl
Why is a gaoler like player on the
piano? Because he fingers the keys.
Why is the inside of everything unin-
telligible2 Because we cant make it
out.
Why is a wounded man Ike an old pair
of boots? Because he wants healing. \
Why is it absurd to expect pretty
girl to be candid2 Because she cannot
be plain. eoitsr!N
What is it that goes up the hill and
down the hill, and yet never moves
The road. fi
What does grocer do with all his
things before he sells them2 Gives them
weigh.
Why is dog biting his own tail like a
good manager2 Because he makes both
ends meet
Why are people who stutter not to be
relied ont Because they are always
breaking their words.
Where ought the milk Of huIaau kind
ness always to be found2 Within the
pale of the church. tntE fn
Why is a promising cricketer like -four
and eggs2 Because he is calculated TO
make good batter.
When a man loses a building lot why
may he he said to be bliRd2 Because
he is deprived If bis site. .s
Why is divinity eesieS than the pro
fession of physic2 Because MS easier
to preach than to practice.
When does q bale Of cotton most re-
semble an eel in kaFop beakf When
it's raised by crane. o
Why is a woman deformed when mend
ing stockings2 Because her hands are
where her feet ought to be.
Why would you suppose that the brow
Of a hill could become wrinkledf Be
cause you have often seen it furrowed.
What's the difference between chilly
man and hot dog2 One wears great
coat and the other pants. Ia
Whet is that which he who has y does
not wish Tor, but he who has it would not
part with it fOF any money! A bald
head.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31

QUEEN ELIZABETH.

A First!cIass Obitaaryl n inter.
esting Sketch of Her Life-Her
Personal Habfts-Her Last Words
IS XIII Horace Greeley
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31

First Gael Gust come ashore from the
Herrin' Fushin' -" HoO's wi you,
DonalY Hae ye ony news yonder2"
Second Gael" Ma, / hear naething-
90, aye-they were sayin' Mac Callum
Mohrs (the Duke Of Argyle's) son s goin'
10 get marritr'
First Gael-"Ayl ayl An wha's he
goin' to get marrit onf'
Second Gael-"Ye ken the Queen,
e-ehW
First Gael-"Ay--a ken the Queen y
Second Gael" A-weel, it's on her
young doohter he's goin' to get marrit. -
First Gael" E-ehi Dodl the Queen
mum be the prOod lcomGRi'
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31

and Immediately relapsed into his
thoughtful mood and attitude. Being
unwilling again to intrude upon his re-
aections, | said no more After a min
ute or two he suddenly straightened up
to his full hight, and turning TO me with
more animation, energy and excitement
of manner than had ever seen in him
before, he addressed me in voice trem-
nlono With an,ofion and said.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31

When Alexander DUNES died be was
in 6ebt to Michel Levy Brothers, his
publishers, something over 700
francs Dumas the younger offered to
nav. but the members Of the firm de-
clined sav,ug they had made enough
from the great novelist's works without
any claim upon his estate.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-03-31
UaItt ,ta
PUBLIC SALE
OF THE
Most Beautiful Property
IN AMERICA.
ON SATURDAY, APRIL s, II,


ON THE PREMISES. WE WILL QFFhA
~ at public sale, TO the highest bidder, M
beautiful homestead belonging to our O.u
fellow-citizen, j. +. Mckinney, situated on
the Hernando street railroad, and bounded By
Lauderdale and Jackson streets. Desiring to
raise money by the sale Of a portion Of his real
estate, he has placed upon the market that
which he thinks will be surest TO ATTRACT buy
ers--the place which he now offers Being not
only the prettiest outside Of Memphis. but to
use his own language, the prettiest in Amer
ica;" anybody doubling which, need only
drive around the premises and look ut the be
witching flowers, and fruits, and tastefully
cultivated grounds, to be convinced Of the
correctness of the assertion. The grounds
laid of, with the improvements, coDstitute 2
charming residence, comparatively new, with
ample house room, most conveniently and
comfortably arranged. and a garden OF the
choicest fruits and flOwers .
Terms liberal, and announced at sale. MIR.
Mckinney has owned and occupied this prop
.esfy more than twenty ears, and purchasers
need not feel uneasiness as to title. We invite
ali his friends and ours, and the general pub
lie, to be present at the sale, promising them
good bargains. with plenty Of hospitality and
"a car ride thrown in. =. ~
~. ~ R0YSTER. IRRELEVANT x CO.,
q Auctioneers.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29

reaching Syracuse within the allotted time, and
knowing how mortified Pythias would be if com
PEELED to die in consequence. he seized Lucullu,
to rend him to pieces. 1t would have beer
goodbye Lucullus had not horseman appeared
at that moment. whom Damon persuaded to dis
mount, taking him gently by the throat. Then
mounting in his stead. he dashed away toward,
the city.
In the meantime. every preparation had been
made for the execution of Pythias.
Time was up, and 40 word from Damon The
people sneered, and asked if anybody supposed
Damon was such fool as to come back again,
and even Pythins began to fear his old pard had
gone back on him.
Suddenly great shout was heard. A cloud
OF dust was seen to rise up in the direction Of
the salt-works. 1t approached rapidly, and in q
short time Damon came tearing in on horseback,
at pace that would have made Phil Sheridan
SO ashamed of himself that he would have rid.
den twenty miles away" and hid.
There Was just shade of disappointment on
DamOns face when he saw thar Pythias still
lived; but he jumped off his horse, threw a
handspring on the scaffold, and shouted:
Bring on your cleaver ! Damon is on deck ~
Dionysius was so struck with this exhibition
OF friendship that he pardoned them both ut
once. They then fell into each others arms ex.
claiming
'PythyW
danny"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29
A Thrilling Incident.

A world of fiction hardly contains more
thrilling chapter than an Incident which marked
the life Of the late Rev. Mr. Lee, Presbyterian
minister, of the village Of Waterford, New York
Mr.. Lee was sitting in his study about mid
night, preparing discourse to deliver to his
congregation, when he heard a noise behind him,
and became conscious that some one was in the
room. Mr.. Lee exclaimed: what is the mat
ter I" and, turning around in his chair, he beheld
| the grim face OF the burglar, who was pointing
pistol at his breast. The ruffian had entered
the house by side window, supposing all the
occupants were looked in slumber
"Give me your watch and your money" said
he, 'and make no noise, or will fire.
You may put down your weapon, for shall
make no resistance, and You are at liberty to
take all the valuables that possess" was Mr.
Lees calm reply.
The burglar withdrew his ne.acing pistol,
| and Mr.. Lee said:
III will conduct you tn the place where my
most precious treasures are placed"
He opened tho door and pointed to the cot
where his two children lay slumberiug in the
sweet sleep of innocence and peace.
"rhese," said he, "are my choicest Jewels
Will you take them ?"
He proceeded to say that as minister of the
gospel he had few earthly possessions, and that
his means were devoted to but one obect-the
education OF the two motherless children. The
burglar was deeply and visibly affected BY these
remarks. Tears filled his eyes, and he ex pressed
the utmost sorrow at the act which he was about
to commit.
After a few remarks by Mr.. Lee, the would be
criminal consented to kneel and join in prayer
and there, in that lonely house. amid the silence
OF midnight the offender poured forth bis 70.
morse and penitenee while the representative Of
religion. of peace and good will, told him to "a
and sin no more"
Such a scene has few parallels.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29
Search for HapDfness.

A wealthy epicure applied to an Arabian doc.
tor for prescription that would restore his
body to health and give happiness to his mind.
The physician advised him to exchange shirts
with man who was perfectly contented with
his lot, whereupon the patient set ont on Jour.
ney in pursuit Of such . person. After many
months spent without accomplishing his object
he was told of a certain cobbler of whom every
one had spoken as q model of contentment and
happiness. Pursuing the direction given, the
traveller was at length rewarded with the sight
OF the cobbler enjoying comfortable nap on a
board Without ceremony he was aroused from
his SAUNDERS, and the important interrogatory
whether he was contented with his lot, was
answered in the affirmative.
"Then," said the seeker after happiness. 81
have ono small boon to ask at your hands. It is
that You exchange shirts with me, that by this
means, also may become contented an happy"
"Most gladly would accede to your request"
replied the oobbler, "but-"
"Nay, refuse me not" interrupted the man of
wealth; ANY sum that thou mayst name shall
be thine"
II seek not thy wealth." said the cobbler, "but
but"
"But what?"
"The truth isl hare no Shirt"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29

In Indianapolis they have child, now two
years and half old, who about year ago swal.
lowed q thimble-one of the open ton variety.
and since then the child has swallowed nothing
but liquids. Everything of solid nature Is
immediately thrown up. The supposition is that
the thimblo caught come where in the ,esophspus.
but eighteen doctors have searched in vain for 1t.
The case occasions much wonder among physi.
clans.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29

The undersigned desires TO inform tho public that hc hss
Cmt ~ Miin rsralcIcpa with an addition Of Turbine
Water Wheel attached 10 OF Briggs Patent Under Runner
Mill Stones making of tho mills for Misunderstanding
Hour IN the country; and having enpoycda first class miller
no feels confident TINT he make md a. Food Oup
o. Gan Dc made Those having gss Grind arc
towards rendering them well satisfied. The hshcst msket
price paid Tor wheat Every thing IN the milling line kept FOR
september 9th, 1870. ~'s~"OA
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-07-29
new BOOKS!
Just Received by
OSMAN & HAPEMAN


The WAY OF A VAIN MAN. BY Maria
Sophie Schwartz. Translated from the Svedsh nv SeIma
Borg and Marie A. Brown. Paper, 81. y ''''"
UP THE BALTIC: or, Young America in
Norway Sweden and Denmark story of Travel and Adj
venture BY William Adams. tOlver optcJ $3.50
THE YOUNG DELIVERIES OF PLEAS.
AMI CoVE. by Elijah Kellogg Illustrated $l.2s.
LITTLE MEN. BY Louisa M. Alcott. $3.50.
CONDENSED NOVELS. By Bret Hart. 81 80.
G1NX'S BABY: His Birth and Other Mis-.
fortunes. A Satire. Paper, Csc.
THE DESCENT OF MAN, and selection in
relation to sex. BY Charles Darwin. VOL a.
MiLlBANR. A Novel. BY Mrs. Mary j.
ANTEROS. Paper, soc.
REGINALD ARCHER. BY Anna M. C. See.
muller. Paper, 75c.
DESK AND DEBIT; or, The Catastrophes
Clerk BY Oliver Optic. SIZES.
PIKE COUNTY BALLADS, and other pieces,
BY John Hay. $3.50.
JIM BLUDSOE AND LITTLE BREECHES
Illustrated. Paper, CSC.
HANS BREITMANN IN EUROPE, & other
New Ballads BY Charles G. Leland Paper, &c.
NEW YORK ILL STRATED. New Edi.
oon with rcysons and Illustrations Paper, SOC.
STANDARD CROQUET,
AT OsMAN Il HAPEMAN,s.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-06-13

Tieso cstimatea are much under tho mark. It is i'm
possible TO enumorate all articles. 1t may be larry
assumed however, that by the oppressive system OF
Federal taxation, this great city Is annually mucfed III
fifty million dollars OF taxes. Howmuch more our ctizes
pay into pockets of few favored classes through
enhanced cost of domestic manufactures 1t Is impossible
to estimate.
This unmpeachable statement gives opportunity Tor
fair comparison as to whom tho national taxes fa upon
and whom the city taxes press. The city tax IS COLI
posed of two kinds the real property tax and the per-
sona tax The latter does not fa the poorer or work
ing classes But the former Is held up as oppressive on
them inasmuch 1t fails rentals. To deal with TINS
tax fairly IL ia necessary fix rental basis now the
rental value OF real estate in the city OF Newforh mas
been estimated by experts on the valuation OF e Tax
Commissioners TO be at the very lowest one hundred anu
fifty million dollars per annum. Thus they value INC
real estate at Their standard OF value Is iess
than real market value. tax OF two per cent upon
the above sum would amount about s5OOo0oO, which
latter sum Is about ten per cent the rental values
tenant who pays $500 rent year. would be on such
liable through his landlord TO tax OF go But leu us
compare this tax with the local tax OF tenant VINO
lives the socaed honest and richest city OF the World
viz London. An official return of the local taxation
actually collected IN the year 1866 1.-THE latest period at
hand) in st. Marylebone in London, shows tax rated
the rental as follows:
Poor aa 2IL on the pound Of rental value
Ontte OF
Church r,e,.,..... the pound Of rental value
Metropolitan main drainage
rate..,............ on the pound Of rental value
Total ..............GO Ioi on the pound Of rental,
1881 per cent the rental
1t therefore follows that II the London tenant nhablts
house at yearly rent Of $780, he would have to pay
SIS "A local taxes nearly double the New York rate
could be- however, statistically established that the
average rent really about seventh of mechanics
earnings in city. Thus, man, in order to pay 500
rent per annum ought to si00 The average rent
ofthe working Is 81 40 to 81 so per week. or $50
per The city tax, therefore, that most useful
class OF citizens IS should be- si3 per annum, which,
divided as per usual rate Of family Of six would be
& II per capita.
Then how does the national taxation compare with oil
tisl Say that family consisting OF adults and chill
dren consume, of the following Te articles as actual
statistics average In family whose head receives 500
year Wages-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-06-13

estimates do rot iny prospective islands
in view Of the opening Hell Gate hsnn the
projected Department Of Docks But consdeny expected that
plans now before Department will make the pier and the lots
connection them almost important Of TO the city
as the Erie income 10 the State true that but
small part property likely TO be so but the city debt Is
Ian upon It ALL 50 possession Of the pablo credit
and besides property sexual and productive and the only
sou WHY It will not sold because valuable to the city
whole for public than for private purposeA"
II has been urged that the city should sell ts piers and
improbable property and only and enforce some
uniform scheme OF Improvement But II this were done
there would not a uniform time In which the i'm
provements could progress be perfected Besides the
improved piers would sell for very much larger price
than now even adding the expenditures with interest
There have recently been made attacks upon the city
credit which originated In the zeal OF subagehs OF the
Government appointed to place Its new loan on the
market 1t ia fair TO add they were dscountenanced by
the Secretary Of the Treasury But the best answer to
them that the and Comptroller find 1t the easies
OF their duties TO negotiate both at home and abroad in
small large sums and at handsome premiums, all the
bonds authorized by the last Legislature The fiscal books
Of the city always open TO It's creditors but the Mayor
Is responsible for often refusing their access respon-
sibe persons who desired to examine accounts for
undoubted purposes OF Misrepresentation either by
cealing details dlstorng others. Such is also
the policy OF the Federal Government at the Custom
House aud the Treasury And because the accounts and
resources OF the city found TO DO and AMPLE
It s that city creditors retain their loans and
srewd bankers and corporations make request for city
securities
The rate OF taxation In EewYork City has been
so great that in Brooklyn, Boston, Philadelphia, Al
bany, Syracuse, Rochester, and many other cities which
could be named The attacks upon what s called
eessive municipal taxation generally proceed from
and writer's who could better Improve their time and vim
dictate their dsinterestedness should they turn their at
tcnon toward the oppressive Federal taxation inaugu
rated under auspices OF the party to which they belong
1t has been stated and over again, by them. that
our city taxation than double per capita than
the national taxation. To refute this absurdty 'he
Mayor presents table In which is shown an ESTIMATED
consumption OF commodities for the City Of NewYork
the national tax charged thereon. and the amount OF
taxes Indirectly collected tho million OF nhabso In
Eew-YoTk.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-06-13

The entire cost of the Evening Schools for the year
s1l5G23.
The entire cost Of the Coored schools for che ye or On
Guiding alterations of No. p was $56.57o
The whole number OF teachers employed in all the
schools OF all grades in December was 2,7sr.
The value OF the real estate held b. the city FOR public
school purposes in 1870, estimated 5y the Department.
SS977O0O, and the Mayor estimates its personal
property to be worth one million more.
The management Of the Schools reccFes popular ap
probation. and has been cordially cohmenied in ali
quarters without regard TO political opiions.
CHARITIES AND CORRECTION.
The annual report OF the Department OF Charities and
Correction is always too interesting and yssDe 20 be
abridged None but the malicously inclined ever Jepie
cate the appropriation OF money which these city char
ties expend from the public treasury, or charge the
heads of this department with eXrayaSanee OF de.hc
tlou of duty The prisons amshouses workhouse'' va
tous hospitals lunatc asylum, inehrati asylum bureau
Of outdoor poor, with all their various DfdhceS' ooI
bne 10 give the Department Of Charities aud C0Feooh
the MANAGEMENT Of what may be wen tefihcu '0'''e
lion OF small towns. The moneys received Tor eAoie
,os will also be devoted TO distribution for charaoe
nurposes and to extent, TO the edueauohal aSS'
ance NJ ragged schools This assisting pri'aie oh"i''
enterprises with public moneys is rear economy
saves much public money 10 foster 10y SupsiuioS t P
vate exertions and subscriptions, which reheNeS 'H' p
lie authorites In great extent, from iAe eNpehs" "
purchasing sites, erecting buildings ana einp"9 i"E
force 20 manage the various institutions, when r"'o ~
many protectors against the panperism vasta"'''
crime. and vice of future. Aud the elect OF lnis
tenn upon the political education OF the people
cal; for where the regulation OF charities Is "Ssun'o'
exclusively by government, the people, ununs 'ne'n
selves excluded nom direct and symp'no'' i0.i'o"
with their mana cement, refrain from taxing That inter-
~, witch they would II tho matter were not govern
mental Paupers and patients who seek public charity
40 90 with only dosire Of relief which they know 'he
government is no more than obcying It's laws to gives
hut thav who oder themselves " the care oi p'"'' "
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-06-13
!, TAXED ny aOyRRNMYNY.

sllsaa=-~----
Amount 81 faxe 9 ex-
sctsd Government
sHd MOnOpolies.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1871-06-13

Surprise has been specifically expressed why the in
yetments OF the Sinking Fund for the Redemption Of
the City Debt" are not Cancelled, and the Principal Of
the Debt reduced.
But when the object for which the fund was originally
established is understood it will be evident that the In
yestmonts must continue until the whole City Debt Is
ready for liquidation.
The ordinance creating the FUND declares 'hae inc
moneys received from certain specified sources care
hereby pledged TO and constitute Fund for the re
dempon OF The City Debt, until the whole OF the STOCKS
Of the City Of New York shah be finally ana fuiiy re
deemed"
The same ordinance directs the commissioners TO Invest
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1871-01-04

VIA T TIE CITY PRESS SAY.
PRIZE DRAwlNa.-Quite crowd assembled
at tho Theatre, yesterday noon, to witness tho
Grand Drawing of the North Carolina Bcne-
hcial Association. There were 100 prizes in
all, and little rolls of paper separating these
were placed in wheel on one side, while the
tickets were in another wheel opposite to the
former. Between the two was a table, at
which sat tho judges and MIR. j ohm London.
Commissioner. Tho wheels were made with
glass sides, 80 that everything within them
could be seen, and were securely locked, until
the drawing began. This WAS dono by means
Of two little boys, who wero securely blind
folded, one drawing number from one of tho
wheels and the other the prize to correspond
with it. There is no question but that the
drawing wae done in perfectly fair and just
manner Wilmington Daily Journal, Dec. 2.
The GRAND DRAWING YESTERDAY. Tho
grand single number distribution of the North
Carolina Beneficial Association, which took
place at the Theatre yesterday, at / o'clock
was tho all-absorbing theme during the dav
The drawing took place in public, commit
tee having been selected from the audit nee
to act with the Commissioner in keeping an
account of the came, and to see that it was
conducted fairly. Quite respectable crowd
was present to witness the drawing. Tho fol-
lowing numbers drew the principal prizes:
800; No. 2542, $4,000; No. 14O7, S., 900; No
4412, $1,000; No. 1486, $500. The Certificate
No. 1407 was sold to a citizen of Whining ton.
N. c. Wilmington Aosaia9 Star, Dec 2.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1871-01-04
CAROLINA HOUSE

"A THE subscriber, in view Of the ap-
approaching close Of The present year, de-
sNpaires to state that he proposes to close
hls books, and earnestly requests such friends
and patrons Of his establishment, as may be
IN arrearH, to liquidate their accounts, 30
That he may start in the year 1871 with an
entirely new set OF books, and record OF the
pas: completely obliterated. The proprietor
OF this well-known house desires to aeeure
the public Of his disposition and capa city to
supply, at all times, the best Of WINES,
best material and the pronpte.t attendance.
Dec4 r. BARRY.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1871-01-04
R Ts5 i . H78
BAZAAR and CONNECTION cry !

For useful things and things for sport,
The curious people here resort
ANNTlRELY new stock of TOYS and FANCY
~ ARTICLES for the Holidays. Varieties
too numerous to mention.
CANDIES manufactured daily
CAKES of all kinds. plain and ornamented
Also. full stock French CONFECTIONERY
Canned Goods Jelly, Raieins, Citron,
Almonds, and Inll line of assorted Nuts
Lemons. Oranges, Cocoanuts, &c. Fruit OF
all kinds during tho season. Nov 10