davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
Neuralgia. or Acute RIleu-
F1aiSIn,

Is ceasioned by oarelessness. exposure, OF any
o. the various Ways ana means by which We take
a severe cold, OF it may be caused by fatigue.
The symptoms sztItns HerE oCsness, iEieLse
pain in the muscles sue joints, Il flesh is ~ Oh
len and sensitive 10 &c touch One popularity
Of this form Of Eheumstil IL, that IL frequently
changes from one portion o. the body to snSther
even when Go ext Tnsl APP rlcatio y hes teen Used
20 drive il to any other part The entire Eye
ZEN js prostFated by FUfe7inR, Ne long fer rfEt,
but the acute, dartiIg pains viii not FefHit Us
that pleasure. External app ieations uEe-
less and often prove dangerous, iy driving he
pain to some vital organ. Drive It oVt Of the
evs:em instead Of driving II in, end Tsylor's
stomsch and Liver COrTector is waTTented to
give relief. 1t will go 10 the sest Of pain,
strengthen the nervous sy stem, ana eject cure.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
TAYLOR'S
Stomach l. Liver CerrectOr
Bilious rheumatism.

Persons no reside in The vicinity Of sWknps,
low lands, or any stagI ant body Of atsT,
are more Iisbie to this disease, as the miAtmA
arising from such places it aiE ost sure 10 / 70
duce Fever and Ague, and Fever in dlfereEt
forms. bilious Rhesm8 assn is Also induced by
exposure during rainy weather or sudden chan
ges of Temperature A disordered Liver viii
frequently cause tits disease, always 'nereasiDg
the nffering and rsnderingat more difficult 10
-ure. The symptoms OF this extremely pair
form of Rheumsiic complaint ere, pain IN the
Joints, aud violent psirs through The body.
Taylors stoEach and Liver Corrector will surely
effect a cure None OF the ingredients sTe 10
any way injurious and The curative powers are
wonderful This valuable me dicine searches TO
the root of the disease and parts Affected. excl
/ ting the liver to heslthy xcriDD, relieving the
body of its pains removing al stiffness from the
Joints, purify ing aud cleansing tie whole sys-
TEN.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

The Young Mems Christian convention n
Washington decided not to meddle with the
use Of tobacco or woman's work. This was
very sensible, as both these things are Spt
to he demOralizing to Christian Young men
especially womAn's work, which ia freq uently
more damaging than chewing and smoking
both toCathsr
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

IT is trite remark, that 1.-THE main
entrance to mans heart is through his stoU- :
ach." Practical young. ladies may be IN
tsrested to learn that few are so obdurate as
20 withstand the genial influence of DIR.
Prices Cream Baking Powder and Special
FIavorings. The increasing demand for
these artieea testi6es of the entire sstisfso.
ton afforded to those who have used them.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
RATES OF kDYERTlSlNG,

For zach square, or the space occupied by ter
lines Of solid nonpATeil, One Dollar for each in
sertion.
Special Notices, 20 cents per line. Fhtn In
serted months or more, so per cent, above r, Gu.
lar advertising rates.
Communications, or articles inserted among
reading matter, 2S cents per line.
DAILY AND WKEKLY-A discount Of 20 per
cent. will be made from the Weekly rates, o.
yearly and half yearly contracts, when the same
! matter ia inserted in both Daily and Weekly.
| Double Columns will be charged 35 per cent
| additional.
FOR IL transient Advertisement advance pay
meat Is required.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Justice Sawyer, of San Francisco, refused
TO receive the testimony of a Chinese physi-
clan, who had been sued by white man for
the recovery of 500 fee. The Chinaman's
counsel threstened prosecution Agsins,
!he Justice under the ku-Klux Law. and tbs
decision was reoonsidered and the China.
mAu's evidence received
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

strike among the breaksmen ON the
freight trains on the Erie railroad ocoarrad
at horuelisville on the I'd inst, which TEN.
Porarily in'erfsred with tho running of
freight trains. Passenger trains are not in
'erraPted. Much excitement prevails At
Earnel!syille
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Gov Butler, of Nebraska, has been re.
moved from office, snd the impeachment
court has adjourned sine die. The consti
t0sionsl convention meets at Lincoln on the
18Th of this month.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
voung M.u,s LIOrary Assocs.tiOn.

The rooms Of the Young Mems Library Assoc
clAtion are open from 10 h. Nj. until l0 T. M.
every day except Sundays. A large and we'll
ssiscts& assortment Of werks now on hand.
Tick cts three dollars, whicn can always be pro-
sarsd Of the Secretary. msy6dly.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

JOHN EOOT's BITTERs.
John Roots Bittsrs are family medicine
john Roots Ritters cure general debility
John Roots BitterE cure dyspepsia. Use
it.
John Roots Bitters curss fever and Agus.
John Roots ittsrs cures all bilious dis
eAses.
John Roots Bitters cures nervousness and
headache. Try it, They are warranted.
John Roots Bittsrs cure indigsstion. Try
it.
John Roots Bittsrs are not @ whisky drink
John Roots Bitters are sold by all drug
gists. JohH Bengston, Rock Island, H.; Har
E1son Holman, Davenport, Iowa, WhOlssal
and retail druggists. Joseph heehan, Moline
Ill. may22-deod-m f&wly
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
LDailp Argus.

In the State Senate, on Friday the I'd
inst, Kerr's amendment to the State House
appropriation BILL submitting it to vote OF
the people, was rejected by 29 against IL.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Iaw York E&GYkeI.
rslogTAPhed to the AasUs.
NEwYoRK June 3
FlOur-Dull.
Nbsat--Dull ct 81 4S.
Corn Dull and tending downward cana
receipts 6y loads rail- cad "A cars.
Oats Dull at 63a64e.
Sugnr-Prm; Cuba 10aI0s; Porto Rich Ilc
white l24c, hards I34c.
Cotlee-Quiet.
L1nseed 0H--Unchapged at 94a05c.
Petroleum--StroEg, crede l5c refined 254c
Mess Pork-steady at $l5 so.
| Lard l04o.
Whisky-Stroug at $50.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

SEE advertisement Of DR.. Butts Dis pen~
ssry, headed Book for the Million-MAR.
RAGE GUIDE-in another column. Il
should be read By all.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Every family needs to keep in the house
something that will cure headache, tooth
ache, Agus pains, lsmeness, bruises, cramps,
aud other kinds of pain aud suffering, and
waat ia there so good as Rsnne's PaiD-Kill
ing Magic Oil. Try it. For SAILS by JOIN
Bengston.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
LOCAL NOTIOE IS.

Wa ask attention to the advertisement in
another column, of"Jaokson's Oatarrh Snuff
ami rroohe Powder"-s good article. d&w
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
Salt Rkeunl.

This comes un i,r The Sesd Of diseases Ct tho
nor ska and appears $50 e frequently on The
hand. thar amy other part, hut the Whole tody
liable to att elss ard il often PRODUCES he most
uaIisnsat sores. which have baffied ,hs ski Of
The most learned dostuTs. it IL terrible pois'u
in the blood and no local applications s'ole VIII
oJre II. bat a me'icIne 'hst hA' the power 70
neutrsIfze the poifon, We End III 81 re Do not
fail to get bottle of Taylor's StomHch and LiT-
er C0Freotog.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
Temple Of Honorl

Rock Island Temple of Honor No. II, meets
every ThursdA, evening, and Social Temple No.
s. every Tussday evening st 7 O'Clock, at Odd
ellows BALL. C.M KINoKY, Wet.
A. 4. BUFFuN, ". K. dsc22 diff
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
Cbicaso o Five stock.

Tslegrnphed to the ARsUE.
UEIoB srooK YARrs, June b.
Caitle-D ull and lower. Steers, 1ba4 30.
Hogs 60 to 90; for good, 30 to 30
Pork-Active q IA 90.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

VI7ANTEn.-A SITUATION AS ENGIN-
w EER in some Manufactory, by a man who
has had several years experience. Good refer
ence given. Address P. 0. Box b55, Rock Is
land Ills. may l-dt
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
DaG EsLloEs

Rock Island Lodge No. ls, I. 0. 0. F., meets
every Monday evening at DAD FslloWs' Hall
southeast corner Of Illinois and EsgIs Sta, Al
u o'clock P, Il.
GUs SrEHGEL, N. @.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
ChiSRgo EIGFsSt.

YslsgrapAsd TO the ARsUs.
CE1oAso, June ).
Flour Quiet and unchanged q, $6a6 so.
Wheat f EirIy active, at 274s0 "a las half
/ 81! Juy.
CoTn-Active at 522 last halt. 53s July.
Oats-Selling st 4o8 to 49.
BarIey-Duil at 67aG8.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

CoNSUBIAL FELICITY.-N othing tends
more to connubial happiness, than cheerful
and healthy infants and children. Mrs.
"hitcomb's Syrup is the great children q
soothiug remedy.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

e. 5. MARINE osPIrAL, ST. Louis, Mo, Oct.
s, lS70-JAs. A JACKSON Co; have ex-
Amined the formula for making The Home stom-
Ach Bitters," and used them this Hospital tor
the last four months. l consider them the most
valuable tonic and stimulant now in use.
+. MELCHER.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Solid Gold Anchor s7j.
SILVER Pla,ed N>re-30 per ct below list price,
Lsdie. Fine Gold Setts--old price S50; We Of
teT for :
Solid Silver Patent Lever Watehes-Sl rs.
silver Thimbes-35e.
Nice Silver Mounted SHOW Cases, neS.
Two =" side "
Show Window case
Lot # Black Walnut Furniture.
A Writing Derk.
Bats Patent hate
our Clocks an PLATED =" are must De sold
We al. offer 3 large sock of JeHeler's tools
and materials at waolesaIe jobbers rates. and a
fine Regal AtoT.
CALL AND SECURE BARGAINS.
a@- All persons that Rre indebted 20 the firm
of Ros, field & EpsteiH viii save thenselves
trouble By calling and settling ct their earliest
opportunity, OF The Eecounts will be piaesd IN
pTope hands for collection.
EPSTEIN BROTHERS.
Rock Island, May I6, lsfI-dtf
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
Every Faa!Iy Should aays a BOTTLE.

We ask every one to read the following GER
tifcates from many of the most eminent physi-
cians IN the country
ST. LoUIs, July lo70'-JAMES A. JACKSON
CO.: Gentlsmen-As you have communicated
to the medical profession the recipe of the
"HOme Bittsrs, it cam OF, there fore, be consid
cred as 3 secret or patent medicine, no patent
having been taken tor 1t. We have exAGined
the formula for aakisg the "Home Bitters,
and unhesitatingly say the combination is one
0I T. re excellence, all the articles used in it,
comvogition ars the beat of the class to which
the, belong being highly Tonic, shmuiant
Stonachie, CarmInatiEs and slightly Laxative
The mode OF preparing them is strictly in ac
/ cordsHce with the rules Of Pharmac3. Having
used ihs II, seen its eject in private prao tice
We tshe pleasure in recon @ediug them TO all per
sous dessro1s of taking Bitters. as being the bes
/ Tonic and Slimulant now offered to the put bic.
/ L q Botshniere, Nj d. + q Porter, NJ D
Alfred Hssevck NJ D. c Gsricke. NJ D
/ Drake Nc Dowel NJ d. c A Ware, NJ D
/ J Nhitehi!i n d. 4 CLARK, NJ d
/ Drew Ludwig S q Moses, ID d
! v Wilcox, Nj d. HILBERT PTlmm.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
CarO.

A Clergyman while residin in soutb America
a mission airy, discovered a safe and simple
remedy for the cure of FerTous Weakness. Early
Decay, Diseases of the Urinary snd Seminal Or
gEns, and the whole train of disorders brought
on by baneful and vicious habits. Great num-
bers have been cured by this noble remedy
Prompted by desire to benefit the afflicted and
unfortunate, Twin Fend the recipe for preparing &
and using ths medicine, in sealed envelope, to
any one who needs Il, free of charge. Address
Jos. r. IxMAE, Station D. Bible House, MY City
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

CHICAGO, Sept. 30, Is70.-J. L. SMITH, Esq.
We have examined the formula for Ihs "Ceie bra
ted Stomach Bitter" and find it to he composed
of articles that are considered the beet tonics
used hv the Medical Profession, and one Of the
hest bitters we know of now in u.e
Very respectfully.
Hahn, NJ n B McViesr, NJ
Walker, NJ d Mariner, ID D
Norman Barnes, NJ D
JAMES A. JACKSON.
Sole proprietor l07 North ID st st. Louis Nc.
meh2 -doHW-mon w6m
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
2EAg.
q. POwARs. J. L. FREEMAN.
GREAT REDUCTION IN TEAS!
BY THE
Hong Kong Tea Comfy,
Branch House, Palace Row,

ROCK ISLAND. ILLS.
Where we Offering unrivalled Teas, at the
same low prices as at their " eastern House"
BY importing Teas in cargo lots they enable
Us to retail to the copsume- at extremely low
prices. Don't fail to visit the Hong Kong Tea
store, at Palace Row, where will be found the
nnest, purest and freshest Teas, Cofees and SpI-
ces, at prices beyond competition.
my y5dw3n PoWARS FREEMAN Aa'ts
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

sr. LOUIS. July 6, Is70.-JAs. A. Jackson L
Co. Haviug . exam ned the formula from whico
your celebrated Stomach BlIters' are prepared,
and having witnessed the method OF co - bInAhg
the different ingredients, We can ssiely recon-
mend them as the best tonic with which We as e
Acauaiuted From the great care with which
they are compounded, and from the choice ma
terials which enter into them, We h&ve Eo doubt
lhat they will prove, as they deserve TO be, tbs
most popular tonic and etimulant in LEe.
E.sn.antftLliN
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
BaRKsHzRl Figs,

Splendid ones, two months old. SIS, either sex.
Safe shipmen, guaranteed; payment 30 days sf-
ter recs pt Of stock. /. CoNvRtsE, Bucyrus, o.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
CO M M { R ClkL.
Rock IsLAHn. June

Rock IsLAHp, June 5.
THIs Flour market Is corrected at Wsrnert
Mills and the quotations are the ruling priOes OF
the Rock IslARd market
WINTER WaEAr FLOUR-W holesale. ......$ 80
Retail ,.,..,,.,...k. 90
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

CrscrxxA11, Oct. 10, Is70-Messrs KEHNE-
DYA CO. / euts Home Bitters.": Gents
Agreeable to youT requests, have examined the
formula Of the Home Stomach Bitters" and
And the remedies il contains such Sc are in gea-
sr 81 use bv the Medical Profession. They are
very scientifically and pleasantly combined, and
as stimulating tonics will be found especially
dapted as corrobor~n.ts to the treatment # low
or debiitsted stsges efthe Fystem, bother sri-
sing frem impaired digestion or from ma'sri Gus
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05
7. J. VASTTNE, L. D.
T. G. CUMSIOCE, NJ. .

We cheerfully concur with every word cor
tanned in th 6 above testimonial:
John Councilman, ND john Hartman, N D
Chss Vasfiue, N D John Temple, -
a s walker Al d L c Franklin, Nj d.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-06-05

Harry HABLRY, r. s.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-05-17
FORTUNE-TELLING.

/ The Tribune devotes three columns TO
most revolving details of the operations,
and exposing the true character, Of the
so-caIled fortune-tellers of New York.
They are doubtless true, and the public
alton may, and it is hoped will, be the
means of breaking up these establish
ments. a reporter has been engaged,
it appears, in making investigations as
to the real business Of these astrOlOgers
and medieval clairvoyants, as they
sometimes style themselves, and dis
covered that, in majority Of cases, the
business pursued by them is nothing
more nor less than the trade Of the pro-
curess. The reporter Of course found it
necessary TO pretend that he was desiT-
GUS Of availing himself of their infamous
services, and pretended to be a stranger
in the city, In each case, he says, he
stated the cause Of his visit. After go
ing through the mummery ofhaving his
fortune told, one of them, (Afadame
Ross replied
4 have large number of lady visitors
come TO see me every day, and many
Of them are desirous OF forming COLI
nections Of this sort; but suppose these
are hardly the kind you want. Oh, yes!
There are quantities OF school girls and
young ladies that work in shops that Wis
it me; but many Of them are quite young
and under the charge of their parents,
and, though it is not very difficult to
bring about an arrangement Of this kind,
if they are still allowed to live athome,
when you take them away entirely
their parents raise a fearful row; and if
they can find them, send them to the
penitenttary.
She promised TO find this reporter a
girl of sixteen or seventeen i'll a day or
two.
Clara a. Alarma, Of Paris, London
and San Francisco, was visited. Shere-
marked:
Thave young girls come TO me, many
Of them belonging to the best families
in the city; but you can't get them to
leave their homes. There's where the
trouble comes. There is another class
Of whom know hundreds, which con.
sists Of young married women whose
husbands are clerks in stores down
town, on small salaries. These are
continually coming to me to be intro
duced 10 gentleman who will give them
money 10 buy silk dresses and the like.
You have no idea how much these Ia
dies will do for the sake Of a dress.
have a great many gentlemen
friends, some that belong TO the city
government. would rather not carry
out your idea; but if you would be coli
tented with anything like what have
mentioned, why think some arrange
ment might be made
Mrs. L. Gipsy was formerly Of Bar
NUNS museum; she said in reply to the
reporters inquiries:
There are a great many ladies come
to me who ask If I can't assist them,
and in this way think very likely !
may do something for you; but beyond
: that don't wish to go. don't know
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-05-17
MONS DE PLUME.

Charles Dickens, with the happy apti-
tude for manufacturing names for which
he showed himself 50 remarkable in his
subsequent works, christencd his first
performance Sketches of Boz The
artist, Mr.. HarbOt X. Brown, who af-
terward illustrated 80 many of Mr..
Dickens works, made good hit when
he assumed the name of 'Phiz'-a name
moreover, which better explains itself
than many HOnss dc lJI,tme can be said
10 do. Several clements enter into the
composition Of Il good nom dc plume.
There may be Il certain Indication of
the intent Of the work or the identity of
the author. When Mr.. Charles Apper-
ly took the pseudonym of 'Nimrod,' as
the author Of works on the Road, the
Chase, and the Turf, any one could tell
the nature Of his books by the name
which he had adopted.
Mr.. George Rose, too, as Arthur
Sketchly,' and the author of light, hui
mOrOus trihes, was happy in his selec-
LlOn. On the principle OF identity, we
find the late Fenimore Cooper writing
his Notions of the Americans picked
up by "A Travelling Bachelor and Mr..
Ruskin first brought out his Modern
Painters under the title of "a Graduate
of Oxford At the present day, espec-
tally, names like these throw but very
vail over the name of an author, if he is
a man Of any substance at all.
Who does not know that 'Historicus,'
Of the Times, is Mr.. Vernon HarcOurt
that Jacob Omnium' was NJ. J. EIig-
gins: that the Competition WalIah'
was Mr.. Trevelyan, and that IS. G. o.,
is Lord Sidney Godolphin Osborne? But
initials, perhaps, can hardly be classed
among mons depIUn1c. PseudOnyms OF
another kind are those which rely upon
humOr for their force. When Sir Walter
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-05-17
CARD-PLAYING.

The Albany correspondence of the New
York S,n', in a recent letter, says: 'The
present universal game of draw-pOker
was seldom heard Ofat Albany or Wash
ingtOn twenty-five or thirty years ago.
Brag was the fashionable play in those
days. II was Henry Clay's great game,
and two Of our old State Attorney Cen
erals-GeOrge Z. Barker and John Van
Buren-had a great passion for IL. Geo.
P. Barker was one Of the most accom-
plished orators that Western New York
ever produced, and he played as we'll as
/ he spoke. John Van Buren's favorite
expression, when he went better, was:
Come in now, and I'll make you run
like the cholera John played the pres
ent Judge Peckham, Of the Court Of Ap-
peals, game Of brag for the nomina-
tion for the Attorney Generalship in IS-
10, and beat him. On tile same night
he laid out Edwin Croswel, tho famous
editor of the Argu8.
The old Mansion House was famous
gathering place in its day for politicians
and canal contractors. John Vernam,
Of Livingston; General Clarke, OF Sandy
Hill; General Dunham, of Albany:
Stephen Clark, of Albany; John Rose
Grams, of the Fish House; Silas Wright,
w. J. McAlpine, Fred. Follett, of Gen
essee; Parmelle, of Orleans; G. H. Ham
ilton, Smith Burnham, Jacob Kinds, of
Niagara; and host more of ioviaI fell
lows used to hold high revels at the
hOstelry from 1910 to 1852. Night after
night tlIey met to amuse themselves
with the papers, and drink gin cock
tails. Every one of these men were
prominent in this lOcaliey, and as well
known. throughout the State as old
Bouck or Billy Seward. By the way
speaking ofSeward, did you ever hear
that joke that occurred between
him and the stage-driver over a game
of seyen-up? That was the Governors
great game, and on this occasion he
achieved a great victory. He was on
his way by stage from Albany to Cherry
Valley, and occupied q seat on the box
with the driver, Dan Farley, the most
celebrated seven-up player in that Sec
tion of the country. Somehow or other
the Governor and Dan got into CONVEX
sation about Card-playing, which led his
excellency to challenge Dan to a game.
Dan, who was never without pack,
produced the papers, and while another
took the reins, he and the Governor
set to playing on top Of the stage. Dan
lost every game, and as he was putting
away the cards he said:
Look here, my friend, what might
be your name@
The Governor hesitated, but finally
made himself known as Governor Sew
ard. Dan cast look of derisiOn at his
cOnquerOr, and exclaimed:
Look here, yOulittle euss, you can't
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-05-17
GAGS.

1nterluUuter-'W Well, Ar Bones, here
you are again, and, really believe,
looking better than ever
Bones-'Yes, sah; dat's what SO re-
markable about me. Pm always look
in better dan ever. You seem to be
carrying yourself pretty healthy too.
Your face is stouter than I ever noticed
it,
Observation-Disclosures
BOnes-'Yes, but daps not much of a
compliment, because you always had 4
good deal of face"
InterlOcutor-I admit, sir, that my
features are well developed
Bones-T guess so; 7 never see such a
big nose in my life. It must be dem
pimples on it.
Interlocutor-'My nose, 'i(r. Bones,
is lot the largest portion OF my cOunte'
nance, by any means
Bones-'DaGs so; you've got more
Cheek than any thing else
Interlocutor-'H How satricaI you are
Ar. Bones. What unusual wit, and
what a flow of Language! wish could
obtain good flow of language; but
that's something you can never buy
Bones-'Can't? Why, thought you
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-05-17
BABIES.

The Overland Monthly runs ON in
this unfeeling style; a baby is not
pretty-yOur pardon, but it certainly Is
not, as shall put you in the way of
proving. Magnify your naked inno-
cence as many diameters as may be nee.
essary to bring her up to the stature Of
the woman-whom, Of course, we will
suppose to be ehiseled in marble-orsav
the Venus de Medici. Now look at them
both together! By the aid of ingenious
apparatus, have made this, or at least,
a practically similar, experiment, and
nothing could induce me TO repeat it.
The effect is appalling! The babe appears
a frightful monster; a great, lubberly,
hideOus defOrmity, with the look of an
idiot! From this judge that baby is
tOlerable only by reason Of its minute.
ness-like a spider