Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1871-11-30
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.

What was the first bet ever made ? !
The alphabet.
New Orleans giils complain that the
young men "don't tease them enough
Two women are partners in law
business in Kansas. They are sisters
in law.
Wachtel, the German tenor, was
once a hack driver; now he's on the
stage.
What age is most agreeable to al
man just started in business? Patron
age.
The reason why successful vaccina-
tion is always popular, is because it
Ks.
AS the season for parties approach
es, boys begin to feel gallant and
gals buoyant.
The happiest people in Chicago just
now are those who shave laid up their
treasures in heaven"
Mr.. Egan, ofWisconsin, thought he
would feel of a circular saw to see if it
was going. He is now learning to
write with his left hand.
TON, who did you say your friend
B. married ?" "Well, he married
forty thousand dollars-I forget her
other name"
An enthuastic editor speaking of a
new pTinl0 donna, says: Her voice
is as soft as a roll of velvet, and as
tender as a pair of slop-shop panta-
looms"
A boy of five summers in New
England recently, while at his devo-
tions, surprised the family by praying
that he might have sixty brothers and
one hundred sisters.
An exchange tells of woman in
Detroit who lately celebrated her hun
dredth birthday, and who "can knit
socks in four languages, and repeat
the commandments with one hand be.
hind her back !"
In a late vacation letter, Henry
Ward Beecher cnumerates as among
the delights of Summer rest, the
privilege of wearing old clothes This
is privilege that a good many cler.
gymen have the whole year round.
A woman at Oberlin, Ohio, collect
ed money for the soldiers orphans
and used it to buy a bonnet. She
said orphans, after they got used to it
could get along without bread, bu
women must have bonnets.
A Milwaukee woman, whose husband
had been prosecuted to death by cred
itor, married the creditor and perse
cuted him to death in less than si1
months. Time sets things even.
The Boston Traveller notes recen
discovery, of tanning by the liquor o
forest leaves. The old school teach
ers knew of that process years ago
only the Ticker they used was from thu
branch itself.
Somebody has utilized pet and othe
names thus: For a printers wife
Em; for a sport, Bet ty; for lawyer
sue; for teamster, Carrie for a fish
rman, Net tie; shoemaker, Peggy
arpet man, Mat-tie; mathematician
.Ad die; auctioneer, Bid dy; chemis [
Ann Eliza; engineer, Bridge it.
a woman was arrested III Camdel
the other day for whipping her hus
band in the streets. And served he
right, too. When a woman wants t.
whip her husband, she should take hin
by the ear, lead him up at least tw,
pair of stairs, thrust him into a cham
ber, and then wallup him in civilizc
manner, and not make public exh
bition of the affair.
The Indian who lassooed the locomt
tive and was therefore transported t.
the happy hunting grounds, has latel
had a rival in rival brother redmaI
who, after too free indulgence i
''iire water" built his wigwam on th
railroad track near ST. Paul, MINI
but ha6 most disastrous luck in attemp
ing to stop freight train.
Out in the sunshine two sons
Africa were enjoying themselves, lis
less stretched out on the Court Hous
steps. All at once one of them, att
an immensity of scratching, produce
something from the back of his nee
and with a satisfied air placed it dow
and stamped on it. ''What is tina
jake said the other, ga flea p jail
arose, and with defiant air said, 6
flea; do you think l am a id doc
No, it's louse"