Litchfield enquirer., 1871-12-28
cLlPPlMos.

|
 Countraband of War-The Pipe of Peace. A hen is not immortal, and yet her son never sets.
 Men born blind cau't be carpenters, be-
 cause the never saw.
 When Lots wife was turned to salt he
 took fresh one.
 Murmurs of the tied-The grumbling of
 . married couple.
 | When are some comic papers the sharp-
 est8 When they are filed What is better than promising young
 man? A pGytng one.
 White Mountain tourists complain that the prices are higher than the mountains.
 There's one thing which can always be
 found, aud that's fault.
 It was woman who first prompted man
 to eat, but he took to drink on his own
 account afterward. Thereis is aakeleton in nearly every house,
 but fortunately few persons have the skel-
 eton-key. l The saying that ''it is moro pleasant to 4 give than to receive, applies only to med
 icine and advice.
 l Whats the difference between chilly
 man and hot dog? aOne wears Q great
 coat, and the other pants "Tommy, you're pig, i" said father to
 his little boy "Now, do you know what
 pig is, Tommy "Yes pa: pigs q
 hogs little boy"
 A rural poet indicted a sonnet to his sweet-heaft, entitled, 'T kiss her sssb rosa"
 The compoeitor knew better than that,
 and set up in printers Latin-'1 kissed
 her snub nosa."
 | A Missouri gentleman who owned too
 many of his neighbours horses was hung
 while on his way to vote, ''which" remarks
 contemporary, ssis calculated to deaden
 ones interest in town politics" 1 Wisconsin religious converts are betting
 ahundTed dollars, even, that they stick to
 their conversions. There are plenty of
 takers 1 An old lady from one of our rural dis tricts astonished clerk in. one of the
 stores few days ago by inquiring if he
 had any ''yaller developments sich aa
 they did up letters in. 1"
 A young man having put crown-piece into s'the plate" in an Edinburgh church by mistake, instead of a penny, asked to
 have 1t back, but was refused. In once.
 in forever. "Aweel, aweel, !" arunted he sI will get credit for it in heaven" ssNa.
 na," said JeeIns the doorkaeper. syeTi get credit only for the penny ye ment to gi'e."
 In the controversy short time ago. in | Waterbury, between Moses Hull. the sDifit- ualist, and Doctor Mum, the doctor rafh- CT got joke on the distinguished contro- versia1ist MT. H. suggested that sona
 men could not see spirit where iaclnss
 (refering to the little story of his friend
 Baalam) had been known to enjoy that
 privilege, "Have you ever seen spirit,
 sir 2" said Mir. H., with the supercilious lmanner of a superior being. sNo," re-
 ''Yes sir, have, said the favored spirit.
 ualist, without the least thought of his former proposition. | An accutely ridiculous incident occur red in one of our dry goods stores this morning. A lady dressed in the prevail ling style sported hustle of such obvioua
 dimensions as to attract the attention of
 little boy from out of town, who had come
 in with mother Ona trading tour. Watch
 ing her moment in apparent pain. he went up to her and with honest emotion said, 'sI am real sorry, MiBs :" and then ilaying hia hand tendefiy on the hump. he lsympakhisingly added "Is it sore 2" Tho effect on the hearers was hardly precepti- bIe to the boy who was picking himself up from behind q stool aa the ontrneed victim dashed through the doOr.-Dans
 bury NesCs.
 s'ScAT PA Danbury, Ct, man saw his daughter into the cars and passed round
 to her window for a parting look at her. l While he was passing out the daughter Tleft the seat to speak Co friend. and nk
 the same time prim looking lady who occupied the seat with her moved up 10 | the window. UnaWare of the important I change inside, our venerable friend hasti- 1 ly put his face up to the window and hsir- I fiedly exclaimed, "One more kisa, sweet pet In another instant the point of Q
 blue cotton umberella caught his seduc- tive lips, followed by thep epassiOrate iniunc- ton, ''gcat, yOn grayheaded wretch !" and Our navy makes good exhibit of itsef- l heient condition. It hes 170 ahips os ell l classes. of which hfty-tMo arc steam mon itOrs and only one is in commission: tho 1 rest are useless. Fifty-Ehrse nhips gre in eommission. the rest are un tho DtOtk8, | undernoinr repaira or sslaid mp" md OL these none are likely 10 be of any future use. Says Secretary Robeson: 'sUnleas
 someshing is done our cruising navy, now lby 10 means powerful, indeed ecnreeiy fsnpeoiable for nation of our rank enn Responsibilities, will soon almost wholly , | ISaes ouk. of existence an an arm ot our ns- f0nn1 poWer." Truly . cheering Pt9.- P,:,.. - Economv is c good thing Dus, a2S < i. l 1fnritv. it had better begin e none. - -. < I tar stndxg leaks in the csxn .9s t, t,,.~ K ss... ssSs ~. rSsl4ssco k&sS navy ok . nEHte