The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-05-13
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

A CITIZEN OF MACOUPIa.-Ths Carhnvllle
Democrat gets OF the following: IAN unsophis'
ticated Gentleman called at the gas works with a
large stone jug for the purpose Of having it filled
with gas TO take home seven miles in the coun'
try, 70 burn in a kerosene oil lamp. lie said ne
had "seen the burned thing burned in stores
about yer, aud it made mighty pretty light.
The Clinton Register calls corner lo'fers
"s.reot gawks." We second the motion
A piece OF flannel wet with turpentine, and
put among wooden clothes, will keep the moths
away from them.-Er.
Especially if you light match ana folG i, up
with tho turpenine.
Here is the last composition "Ihr ilorCe,"
by a school boy: The horee is a"ln.ue with
four legs, one ~ each corner"
Here few clips from the Auror, CITY Life,
Duo B,ndalrs comic paper: The temperance
people Of Aurora are to put Up wa'yrin.- t"oughs
at the market. Ale they noug TO ~bIi,h
wet hay Market
1--WE don t heal OF May parties, lately, people
are waiting for rs thaw one OF these days"
strawberries .gow IN California all the wear
round. The strawberIies attain unusual
size it is not uncommon for an ordinary family
supposed thai I'll the varieties OF This size !;
some are much smaller, and its not unirequent
for Il healthy mln 20 finish one at meal.
An Indiana editor says that he now believes
in total deprayity, as come wretch lately stole
his only pair of boots, which confines him to the
house till the Opening OF tho barefoot season.
The following is perfectly correct about "a
hen that would not tell lie
A youthful hen found an egg and yielding to
the ve,nb! instinct sat upon 1T until the process
of incubation was complete. Her mother who
laid the egg and had taken great pains in shaping
and coloriug it, came along, and seeing only the
broken shell. burst into tears and said "Alas,
my daughter, who hss destroyed my favorite
egg = The teathered offspring quickly replied,
IL cannot tell lie, mother; l cannot tell a lie
did it with my little hatch it,"
The Kendall County Rec0yii is Seoen years old,
but is quite forward youth. 1t can swear,
chew tobacco, talk "hoss" and put on the airs of
q full grown man Its precocity has earned for
it the justly deserving name of "The Kendall
Co. Ast0n{%Ier"
The editor of the Pella Btade has employed
one Wolf to CANVASS for subscriptions. To keep
the Wolf from tho door" the unhappy Hawkeyes
are compelled to subscribe for his paper.-AAdn.
Ia A'yaS
Wonder where Mary keeps her "httle lamb"
when that Wolf is around?
A poetical Western editor says: 1--WE are in
receipt of two poems, one on the 'Throbbing
Brain, ana the other on Beating Heart We
will wait until We receive one on the Stomach
Ache and publish all three together"
A Kansas paper speaks of people there who
ore coined to their Ilies" 1t meant to say
probably, that the Idol only the people OF O,ta
wa, Kansas, joined to. is indlene,s We
know of many people in Ottawa, Ills, who are
aimiliary joined.
The paper above referred to, the Ottawa
Jou1Ra, says j. Q. Armstrou, i. Matchmaker
and jeweler,
lie l'ai.t either. We i- "a newly ordained
Congregational Minister. and lives in Gruud,
Co., His.
y friend inquiries, May not the appear IN CT
on Saturday last OF "A coiored boy in the house o
representatives, at Washington, in the capa.it,
OF PAGE. oe termed :" dark page in American
history"
Dandelons are in bloom Wilmington Inde
pendcm
So they are here, the dandy.lions are, and a
the expense of their tnilors.
Here a few J0n mots from the Tgaro:
There is no use Of praising the present style O
ladies' dresses, for they are pulled enough
A little tive.year.old boy was being instruc,e
IN morals by his grandmother. The old lad
told him that all such terms as "by golly," "b
lingo" "by thunder" etc, were only miuce
oaths, and but little better than any other pre-
family. In fact she said he could tell prei,u
oath by tho prefix "by." All such were OATH
well, then, grandmother" said the little hopt
ful, there's big oath in the newspaper, b
telegraph" The old lady gave it up, ant. tn
boy is bewildered On morals.
negro woman came into our Office the othe
day, says hentncky paper, and wanted
print Cincinnati; EaQaIrfr for her husband.
An exchange says the Cleveland PlaiaGcal,
is the best paper in Ottawa. Even the eiiter
head is red.
The newspapers 1t Carlinvile, in this stat,
are having war of words. One OF them yoc
Tor the ether in this abrupt style:
The potato bug has made its appearance an
commenced work on the editor of the Dcm0cya
1t eats anything that is green.
Very likely, ~ the Dsmocyu. referred 90 is
republican paper and knowing that the name G
Democrat is honorable, and its proper name
republican, is not, calls itself the ID omocrat, am
thus steals they livery of heaven to serve tn
devil in"
1HE uEAYilEE AND TIE SAlNIs-Thc thea