The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-10-26
Choosing Husbands.

Choosing Husbands. 8a7h
"When girl marries why do people talk q
her choice? In ninety-nine cases out of .
hundred, 9has she any choice e97 Does not the
man probably the last she would have ch0sen)
select her 2"
A very clever correspondent has sent us
letter containing this query, and she makes ont
her case ably. She says, 81 have been married
many years; the match was considered very
good one, suitable in every respect-age, posi-
tion and fortune. Every one said I had made
q good choice. Why, my dear Mr.. Editor
loved my husband when married him because
he had by unwearied assiduity succeeded IN
gaining my affections; but had choice been my
privilege certainly should not have chosen
him. AS look at him in his easy chair, o
of the many pockets of his shooting coat, can
but think how different he is from what would
have chosen. My first penchant was for FASH
ionable clergyman-a perfect Adonis. He was
fatterer, and he cared but little for me,
though have not yet forgotten the pang ofhis
desertion. My next was barrister-a young
man of immense talent, smooth, insinuating
manners; but he, too after talking, walking,
dancing and flirting, left me IN the lurch.-
Either of these would have been my "choice,"
had so chosen but my present husband chose
me, and therefore married him and this, I
cannot help thinking, must be the way with
half the married folks of my acquaintance"
There is both sound sense and truth in this;
but is it not better that men should choose than
that they should be chosen? And is not our
correspondent probably much happier with her
present husband, shooting jacket, pipe and dog,
inclusive, than she would have been with either
the fashionable clergyman or the clever barris.
tor io11 uf ND
after marriage, when the trouble and in
convenience of children are beginning to be
felt, and when (the most trying time of ally the
wife begins to neglect her husband for hef
children, unless there was originally a very
strong attachment on the husbands side, there
is little chance of happiness. A wife's affec-
ton, on the contrary, always increases after
MARRIAGE and even if she were Indifferent be-
fore, no well-disposed woman can help loving
the father of her children Children on her
side are bond of union, and though she may
appear for them to neglect some of those little
attentions which men naturally seem to expect,
it is only because the child is the more helpless
being of the two, and the true woman always
takes the side of those who are most feeble.
1t is a strange but melancholy fact that when
young girls fancy themselves in love they are
seldom, if ever, happy if they marry the object
find the husband they have chosen quite diff
ferent person rs an individual from the imagin-
ary object he had appeared as a lover. The
Imagination in most girls is stronger than the
Judgment, and as soon as the first idea of love
is awakened in female heart the Imagination
is set to work to fancy q lover, and all possible
and impossible perfections are assembled to-
gether in the young girls mind to endow the
object of her secret idolatry. The first man
whose appearance and manners attract girl
on her entrance into society is generally inves.
ted by her with the halo ofthese secret thoughts,
and she fancies herself violently in love with
out the least real knowledge of the man she
'supposes herself in love with. No wonder,
then, that if she marries she is miserable. The
object of her love has vanished, never to re-
turn, and she finds herself chained for life to
man she detests, because she fancies she has
been deceived in7him. ..-,...e ~
On the other hand, the man who, with very
pardonable vanity, fancied himself loved for
his own merits, and, who was perfectly uncont
scious of the secret delusions of the girl, be-
comes, when he finds her changed after mar
rage, quite indignant at her caprice The
friends and relations on both sides share in the
same feelings-"what would she have? II they
cry; "she married for love, and see the conse-
quences." -g., ~ .;...,f
The consequences are, indeed, in such cases,
generally sad enough. When the first delusion
is dissipated, and the truth, in all it's hard and
stern reality, comes forth from the veil tha. has
nant at the false position in which they find
themselves. Mutual recriminations take place,
each accusing the other of deceit and ingrati4
tade; while the apparent injustice of theseac
cusations, which is felt by each party alternate
", first wounds the feelings, and then, if re-
peated, rankles in the wound until it becomes
incurable- Baltimore Sum- igf.h ''l.s',a-