New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-09-03
A SEVERE PRACTICAL JOKE.

Advertiser
The other day, at the suggestion OF sew
eral ways at Congress Hall who couldnt
live without their daily joke, put the toll
lowing in my Commercial correspondence
from here:
1.-TWO great scandals at the Clarendon
are finally out. Two married LADIES' are
mixed up, and several aristocratlc famlnes
are compromised. l can not promise IuIi
particulars till tomorrow"
Heavens! what commotion those TOUR
little lines caused in Saratoga. Every Cos
sip was out on the Qui cice. The great
hotels resolved themselves into invest-
eating committees, everybody became sus-
picious, and society was generally. upset
At the Clarendon it fell like moral earth
quake among the unhappy. guests. Every,
body was looked upon with suspicion, anu
the great social Congress resolved Itself INTO
two parties-the watchers and watched.
Each lady looked upon the other with dis
trust. People communicated in Whispers:
Wives kept close TO their nus oands, anu
sweethearts never for once left the con
spicuous glare of the front balcony seats.
Old bachelors, who had heretofore Deen
tolerated as objects of pity by young and
pretty married ladies, were cut dead. Even
their bououets were refused, and everybody
behaved with propriety as stiff and prlm
as a Queens drawing room. Mrs. Jones
read the paragraph, and whispered some
thing about Mrs. Green. Mrs Green had
her suspicious of Mrs. Jones, but she tod
Jones to watch Mrs. Smith. The chques
drew closer together, and everybody waited
breathlessly for the Commercials develop
ments.
THE JOKE SUCCESS.
Hardly had l finished my breakfast and
the .Saratogian the next morning, before
received note from the Clarendon. TWAS
written on heavy tinted cream paper, sur
mounted by a beautiful monogram, the let
tiers A. j. c. american Jockey Club being
beautifully interviewer. 1t read thus:
Mr.. Ian, Congress HALL
notice the paragraph in the Commercial
1t is to be hoped you will not use names;
am an old, gray-haired man. have lived
live of usefulness, and have been long
honOred as a member of the open board of
brokers in New York. If have been indis-
Greet in thoughtless moment, beg OF you
not to ruin everything by using my name in
connection with any developments which
Won propose to make. Come and see me-.
will remain in my room all day, Yours,
truly, II. u. ID.
Clarendon, August 10.
went 10 nv room to read this letter, but
l had hardly finished it when rat. tat, tat
came at my door, and a servant handed me
the following:
". Lam:
RESPECTED SIR-As God is my witness,
you have been wrongly informed if you
have heard any hing detrimental to my
character I have been a vestrvman of
Grace church for fifteen years. | am in
capable of any such actions; besides, |
have q devoted wife, and we are very fond
of each other. gave S25 600 to the Dudley
Observatory, and $4,000 to the Cornell
University and have been @ subscriber to
the Commercial for fifteen years. am in
capable of such indiscretion. Whatever
other church members may do, am as
pure as a newborn babe. Come and see
me. | am almost always at church, or on
the balcony with my wife.
Very respectfully, g. Y. S.
Clarendon, August ].
had hardly finished reading the above
when Judge k, of the Supreme Court
| entered my room unannOunced. He looked
| confused His eyes wandered around the
room, while he twisted his whisbers and bit
| off the ends.
"Have YOU granted the Injunction in the
case of the twenty-seven ladies of Congress
Hall VS.. John r. Cecil for loud snoring e.
asked.
mo, but will do it instantly. if you viii
do one thing for me, said the Judge trem
| blingly.
what ?"
"WeIl, in this scandal case don't use my
name. You know live at the Clarendon
| I've been on the bench sixteen years.
may have been indiscreet this time. Every
man is liable to be indiscreet some time
Even Jefferson Davis was not infallible
Besides, everybody knows me in New York
What would Judge Barnard, and Bixby
and Ingraham think of me after such an ex
posureF
''Never mind, judge, NUNS tie word
Zone thing more" said the Judge, Enger
ingly.
What p
| attorney of Mrs. z. She's an estimablt
widow lady. She may have been carried
away for a moment by this mans villainy
but. sir, she is good woman, highly con
nected. She explained all how it happened
to me. She is very sorry, and she wished
me to come and see you about it,
| "Why, Judge, you surprise me. l didn'
| know anything about any scandal case.
| put that paragraph in as joke-that was {
| Congress Hall joke, and l thought you were
| so very pure up there that you could stanC
| it. | wouldn't have dared to have said i
| about the Grand Union or Congress Hall
| We don't pretend to be so very good here
But thought you Clarendonites were like
| Caesars wife-above suspicion"
"Good God " exclaimed the Judge, throw
ing both hands wildly in the air; and ther
he went back to the Clarendon happy
man.
| My mail now came up. There were clever
more letters from the Clarendon-somt
| were sealed with aristOcratic coats of arms
some with illuminated monograms. Tit
| first one opened had a baronial crown
stamped in red and blue. 1t read as fol
| lows:
Moncher Ian, Esq, Hotel de Congre:
saw one parapra-phe en- re journal x
| COmmouYshdl, about re grande scandale o.
| which you have accused me. l no under
| stand re customs of re countree, but | waG
un grande officeur in re legion dh0neur
and / shall no run when you have accuse
| ma cher re madame with one grand fiit-ts
| ii on, what you dam Americans call him,
| shah be of re madame one grand protecteul
| ayec re pistols. You shall meet me ce soil
| six hour in 20 grande parke when / will
shoot you, dam, what you call him, dead.
M. FLORINS,
de la legation Francois Washington.
| Hotel de Clarendon, 10 August.
| My next letter was written in the trem
| bling hand of lady. She said:
Mr.. Ian, Congress Hall:
MY DEAR SIR write this as friend Of
| yours. You have been deceived. Some OF
| our people came down to Congress Hall
| and told these scandalous things out OF
| spite. Baron Flourins has been little eK-
elusive. We have kept him entirely in our
clique. The rest are mad because we have
not introduced him. He is dear duck OF
man, as harmless as ne is handsome. We
take him out to drive, and even to our pri-
Vate parlors to play chess with perfect i'm
Dun1tT. Some enViauS common pAOnIA
mlstook my my parlor for my private sleeping