The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1871-06-28
SPICE-BOX.

- The crumb Of comfort tor an idle
man-is q whole loaf.
- An off-handed fellow-one who
has lost both Of bis arms.
- Young ladies had better be fast
asleep than "fast awake"
DIR. Mary Walker now has fourteen
pairs of pants in her wardrobe.
| When are the surgeons Of an army
most useful?-In the pill ege.
| "A wall between two preserves
friendship.
Woman shows her fonduess for the
unity by always wanting to be won.
An idle brain is the DEVILS work
shop.
What is called liberality is most
often only the vanity of giving, which
We like better than what we give.
-'Twixt women and wipo mans lite
is smart: wine makes his head ache,
and woman is heart.
Why can no quadrupcd enter city
garden?-Because there never can be
more than three feet in gard.
The greatest glory is not in never
falling, but iRnprising every time We
fall.
Who was the first convict?-Adam.
he vas condemned to hard labor for
life.
BE jabersr said Pat, who was born
on the last day of the year. 'had I de-
layed a bit, where would have beeu?'
A man who sat upon paper of
carpet nails said they reminded him
painfully of the income tax.
An Irish editor congratulates himself
that "hali the lies told about him amt
true"
- The sting of bee carries convic-
ton with It. 1t makes a man bee
leaver at once.
- Portland has colored oenteuarian,
whom the Transcript of that city calls
zone Of the dark ages"
When does rain become too famili-
ar to lady? When it begins to patter
on the back.
"A contemporary says, "The first
printers were Titans." There are good
many "tight uus" among them still.
Why are types like criminals? ?
Because it is not proper to lock them
up without proof.
A Newark mans wife has had
twins, and he is going to have her ar
rested for repeating.
Are you fond Of tongue ? said the
laudlady. always was, and like it
STILL
There is something very attractive
in little girls, said the parson. Yes
said the old farmer; 'and it is still more
SO as they grow older
The great difference between men,
the great and the Insignificant, is ener
gy, invincible determination, an honest
purpose oncc fixed, aud then victory.
1t is with our thoughts as with our
1osers-those that are simple in ex-
preston carry their seeds with them
those that are double charm the mind,
but produce nothing.
- Yourg ladies in New Haven,
Conn.,, delight in playing on the fiddle.
The idea of having four strings to their
bows, they declare, is perfectly splendid.
-"Ahw yavned bachelor, "thls
world is but gloomy prison" To
those in solitary confinement" added
witty young lady.
- The latest style at dinner party
is to have fan placed at each lady's
plate, on which is printed the bill Of fare,
and on the side OF which is a small
looking glass, SO that she is able to
survey herself and keep cool.
= 4 druggist in New ork displays
a vial of some liquid stuff labelled "Job's
Tears" The tears may be genuine or
otherwise, but it is certain that, being.
bottled, they are very suggestive of a
"put-up job"
- An illiterate farmer, wishing to
enter some animals at an agricultural
exhibition, wrote to the secretary as fol-
lows: "Also enter me for the best
jackass, l am sure Of taking the pre-
MUM"
-"1ans. when I pay you cash, you
charge more than when it goes on the
book"
"Ya'as: dat is richt. You zee, lave
20 much scharge on my book, un l
zomedimes lose um, un 20, ven Fave q
goot cash customer, scharge goot price:
but, ven puts it on my book, l no like
to Scharge 20 much, 20 if be never pay
um, | no loose 10 much"