Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-10-26


nay Why is aclergyman like a locomo-
tive? Because you are to look out for
him when the bell rings.
sSgr Industry will make purse, and
frugality will give strings to it. This
purse will cost nothing. Draw the strings
as frugaity directs, and you will always
find useful penny at the bottom.
81 tbs related of member of the
Boston bar, that once meeting in the dog
days the estimabie son of father of rath
er equivocal reputation, in absent minded
moment he amazed him by inquiring how
the old gentleman stood the heat The
old gentleman had been dead two months.
n@!' new Hampshire graveyard,
which Lowell editor visited this sum-
mer, contains this epitaph:
"Weep' 'notafor lie, my friends so dear,
Nor grieve and sob and sigh:
But wear the smile you always did,
For we were born to die"
ESe It is a beautiful truth that the
foundation Of domestic happiness is faith
in the virtue of woman the foundation of
political happiness, confidence in the in
tegrity Of man the foundation of all hap
piness, temporal and eternal, reliance on
the goodness of God"
R@~ The New York Herald is distress
ed about the future of the Mormon wo-
men, who will be made husbandless by
the present prosecutions for bigamy, and
proposes that they be parceled out among
the pioneers and bummers who are hang
ing on the edge of the frontier, and are
represented to be miserably short of wives.
ga~ What is one mans loss in another
mans gain, as the fellow said when he
saw a man walking before him drop his
pocketbook
BS- A Missouri girl set out to earn her
own living as telegraph operator and in
two hears accumulated 100000. 1t was
left her by rich uncle.
Nr Women, wake upp e1claiins the
Rerohttion, and an indolent rural editor
adds: Yes, and, d-n it, turn out and
make fire and put the tea kettle on.
EE A New Hampshire farmer de-
scribes the hay crop by saying that the
grasshoppers all got lame In trying to
Jump from one blade of grass to another.
s0 An Idaho girl is abused for putting
on style, because she cleans her teeth with
the butt end of a blacking brush She
says she was brought up to be neat and
dosen't care what folks think
ag- A gay matron in Indiana recently
captured her daughters intended, whereat
the young lady waxed wroth, and, by way
OF revenge, stuffed dozen bunches Of fire
crackers under the bridal couch. Wonder
if they exploded.
Hy~ The author of novel, just out,
wishing to say that her heroine opened
her mouth, thus expressed herself O. The
pretty coral door-keepers Of her words
gave way, and low mocking laugh ran
out from them" -
a@A maiden lady of certain age ac-
counts for the augmenting redness of her
nose by asserting that it is caused by the
reflection from the red brick house oppo-
site, which glares savagely in at the win
dow where she embroiders. She has
spiteful nephew who thinks it may be
traced to something in her tea -
s 1t never seems too late for an
American to change his place of residence.
Samuel S. Marshall STAYED in Vermont
until he was one hundred, and believing
the climate did not agree with him he re-
moved to Detroit, Mich, where, with care
and prudence, he hopes to live to a ripe
old age.