The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-03-18
Advice to Parents.
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BY MARK TWAIN.


an hour upon the subject of domes-
tic discipline. feel like sparing a
few suggestions relative to the hest
method of bringing mp children.
Being bachelor without children,
my suggestions are as likely TO be
disinterested as if had never seen
a child.
According to my observation, the
most difficult time to bring up chill
dren is in the morning. You can
sometimes. though seldom, bring
them up in'the morning by yelling
at them ; but the effectiveness Of
this process diminishes with its
repetition, even when not entirely
neutralized by the children's trick
Of stopping their ears with the bed
clothes. The only prompt, effec-
tive, and absolutely reliable method
is to bring them up by the hair
If your child has good healthy
scalp, without any tendency to pre-,
mature badness, this method will
work with gratifying efficiency.
Try it about once week, and you
will be surprised to observe how it's
influence will extend through the
six days, inspiring your child with
the liveliest possible interest in the
respondent pageantry of sunrise.
To bring up darling child by the
hair requires the exercise Of some
energy and -frmness but no affec-
tionate parent will hesitate at any
little sacrifice Of this kind for the
welfare Of his offspring
Nothing can be more fatal to
your discipline than to allow your
children to contradict you If
you happen 10 be betrayed into any
misstatement or exaggeration in
their presence, don't permit them
to correct you. Right or wrong,
you must obstinately insist on your
infallibility, and promptly suppress
every symptom of peurile skeptic
ism with force if need be. The
moment you permit them to doubt
your unerring wisdom, you will be-
gin to forfeit their respect and pan.
der to their conceit. There can be
no sadder spectacle than a parent
surrounded by olive branches who
think they know more than he does.
l wildly remember how my father,
who was one of the most rigid and
successful disciplinarians, quelled
, the aspiring egotism that prompted
me to correct careless remark
(when he was reckoning problem
in shillings) that five times twelve
was sixty-two and a half. so,
said he, climbing over his specta
cles and surveying me grimly.
'Ye think we know more'n yer ia
ther hey2 Come ere to me- His
invitation was too pressing to be
declined, and for few excrucia.
, ting moments I reposed in bitter
J. humiliation across his left knee
with my neck 10 the embrace o
his left arm.
didn't see him demonstrate his
mathematical accuracy with tn,
palm Of bis. light hand on the lar
J gest patch of my trousers. but
felt that the old man was right
and when, after completely eradi.
! eating my faith in the multiplica-
ton table, he asked me how mucl
:, five times twelve was l insisted
with tears in my eyes that it wa
i sixty.two and a half That
right said he, 'I'll iarn We 10 re
spect yer father, if have to thrasl
We twelve times day. Now go'>
water them bosses, n be lively
too The old gentleman did't Eel
L nit my respect for him to wan
q much until the infammatory rheu
3 matism disabled him and eve
q then he continued to inspire m
/ with awe until I was thorough
: convinced that his disability wa
:. permanent.
:. Unquestioning obedience is tt
!" browning grace of childhoo,
70 When you tell your child to d
81 anything, and he stops to inquil
:, why, it is advisable to kindly b1
y. ] firmly fetch him a rap across IL
ear, and inform him that's why
40 He will soon get in the way
loes starting, with charming alacrit
" at the word Of command.
.. One of the most inveterate ar
:. annoying traits Of children is il
.. ouisitiveness. If you are inconsi
~ crate enough to attempt to graft
~ their omniverous curiosity "
s Sa may as we'll prepare to abdicat
a for you will be nonplused by The
ae questions q dozen times day, al
a. in week your sagacity will
-. hopelessly compromised. An :,
- erage child is magazine of una
e. swerable and disconcerting CO
ne undrums. You can't expect ch
no dren to have much reverence for
y y parent whose ignorance they C
uo expose twice out Of three tim
w trying. 1t is well enough to (
~. swer All easy question now a
=, then, just to convince them II
oe you can when they come to y
Ia with a poser, tell them, ooh, y
al never mind' or shut up! 9
~ then they will grow up indeper
ne' ent and self-reliant and restrain
~, only by veneration, from splits
=" your head open--to find out how
a. holds &C much information with
H. letting some out.
i's 1t would be difficult--very i
90 cult-to estimate the beneficial
leo feet that would be entailed VI
wv w, their children if parents gener'
ii would adopt the method b
vornaly ip6icofo1