Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-03-25
NUMBER II.
FACT AND FANCY.

Inhumanity-pullng down the blind.
An able article may bring the editor a cain.
What was the first bet made The alphabet.
A fine coat may cover a fool but never con-
ceals one.
What is the greatest curiosity in the world7
A woman's.
What causes cold cures a cold and fees the
doctor2 A draft.
Why is the letter P like a selfish friend? Be-
cause, though first in pity, last in help.
What did the spider do when he came out of
the "rk2 lie took fly and went home.
Certain cure for cold in prima doua-stop
her salary, or put rising vocalist in her part.
rom done it ALL said u man the scaf-
fold, "und I'll never touch another drop as
long as live"
Time is money" so Franklin observed. It
is very true, and some people take plenty of it
to pay Their debts.
An old topper being requested to define hard
drinking, said :" 1t was sitting on rock and
slipping cold water"
The difference between bouquet of flowers
and the bouquet " of wine is, that one makes
nosegoy and the other gay nose.
ga liberal use of the rod is the best method
of making boys smart" This was the remark
of an oldtashioned schoolmaster.
Indiana husbands always purchase the nom
explosive kind of burning fluid. They find it
so much cheaper than divorce suits.
The only reason why the inhabitants of the
pine regions in North Carolina don Z leave the
State is that their business makes them tar-ry.
| Az lecture given at Frankfort, Indiana, not
long since, the tickets read Blessed are the
pure in heart, for they shall see God Admit
one"
An empty bottle must certainly be danger
Gus thing, if we may judge from the fact that
many man has been found dead with one Ut
his side.
A little girl asked her brother what was cap-
tai punishment and he said he thought it was
being locked up in a cupboard with the jam and
other nice things.
An exchange says: Bowen, the Congress-
man from Charleston, s. c., has three wives
now living, and there are thrty-fve States yet
to be heard from )"
A young bachelor in New Jersey was urged to
marry, out he replied 81 don't see it. My
father was n single man, and he always got
along well enough"
California quail has lately been shot in Eng.
land. Its presence there might have been owing
TO one of the earthquakes on the Pacific coast,
which have made many quail.
An afflicted husband was returning from the
funeral Of his wife, when friend asked him
how he was. WELL" said he, pathetically,
~ think feel better for that little walk"
George Washington Turner, OF Nashville Ten
nessee, tried to take bone from his pet dog.
He thinks now, from the size of the swelling on
his wrist, that Fido didn't know who he was.
Thompson is not going to do anything more
in conundrums. He recently asked his wife the
difference between his head and hogshead,
| and she said there was none. He says that is
not the right answer.
An Indiana wants to know if his wife's
having twenty ty-one children should not be good
and sufficient cause for divorce The Bangor
Democrat replies "By all means, if be had
nothing to do with the matter"
| There is in western State a woman so clean
ly that she rubs the dirt off the frewood before
she puts it in the stove Another woman tries
to beat this by pulling the growing beets out
every morning and washing the dirt off them
gentleman learned ia the orikn of social
customs was asked what the moaning of the
custom of casting an old shoe after newly y-mar-
red couple rs they start on their tr lie said:
" To indicate that the chances of mktrmony are
very slippery"
The mocking bird in Florida has special
fondness for the berry of the Pride-of. China tree
upon the juice of which he gets exceedingly tip
sy. The spectacle of flock of intoxicated mock
Ing birds is said to be equivalent to half doz-
en- temperance lectures.
The venerable wife of a cele hted physician
in Boston one day observed h1 husband in the
| funeral procession of one of his patients, at
which she exclaimed "a do wish my husband
would keep away from snch professions; it ap-
pears too much like a tailor carrying home his
own work"
"Tom, where's that counterfeit ten dollar bin
that you had a while ago ?" "well, never
was quite clear in my head about dat ar bill,
Some days thought it was Il bad bill. and oder
days thought it was good bill and one Of
dem days when I thought it was good bin
jes' passed it away p
schooimaster tells the following good one
was once teaching in quiet country village.
Ine second morning OF the session had time to
survey my surroundings, and among the scanty
tnrDlture | esDied a three-lepved stool t.J.