Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1871-07-27
Humorous Readings.
" fntnre state-SanDomipg

Tho fnture state-SanD Domingo.
crro for brain on fre-Blow it out.
Rack door belles-Pretty servant maids.
The hest cure for lazy mana sine
cure.
Ways that are not dark-The dyeing
ways of the blondes.
Whv ia love like Scotch plaid Be-
cause it is all stuff and often crossed.
The mill that grinds slowly-Ihat Ho-
tie mill between Mace and Coburn'
1t is hard TO respect age when one getS
sold on venerable pair of chickens.
| A man advertises cottage to let con-
tanning eight rooms and an acre OF land.
There is so much " whisky paper afioat
in Cincinnati that money is tight"
The man who, by mistake, took drink
ont Of a bottle of mucilage, says he has
felt stuck up" ever since.
A Toledo youth jumped into the river
from the masthead of schooner, Tor a
small gratuity. Who would wish Toledo
life of that kind
3 The newest charm is in the form OF
J commas. and about the size OF cent Elk
The Oldest charm is in the form OF an en-
, compass. and about the sighs OF assent
Mr.. Dusenbury undertook to correct al
oEendino cow with such Indifferent sue
!. cess that his family, numbering ABOUT
. dozen, subsequently, went Dusen-ouryine
q "spray" is the popular drink in the OIL
reoions. 1t is said to be so mild ana gen
tle in it's influence that Let US spray
> the usual remark when friends meet
: A contemporary accuses Miss Winnie
% Roam of being a designing" woman
IL Nonoense. There never was more art
ID 1sSa CcTeature.-Neao York Conan1erc'd
y AdUeTttSer.
n The Boston transcript remarks tina
D. ",ba nroposition to make Gen. Butler thel
4 candidate for governor is rennlnng ID
Massachusetts, republicans. Ihey stan
dr shoulder to shoulder-in opposition
+ him."
A CLERGYMAN who was recently discour
IT. ing upon the alarming increase Oh ih'en
he raTance. astonished his audience by e;
On claiming: ga young man in my meg
Iborhood died very suddenly last 0uhuH
~. while was preaching the gospel IN sta
'of Of intoxication." Moral: Clergym'
ck should study grammar.
on drunken fellow, with box OF mate
nj es in his pocket lay GOWN On 'lS 80
JUS cniat snooze. While rolling over In
sleep the matches took fire. AwakenlI
of he snuffed the air conspicuously, smelt
at burning birthstone, and ejaculated-"J
as I expected, in h-ll, (hic) by hokey-
T. was a somewhat awkward but 81
Who oessfnl expedient that a youthful Vlrg
,ast ia conole hit upon to facilitate their eio
ION men+. The young lady at the dead
- NIGHT lowered herself from her cham
Du' window in the paternsl mansion 10
the ground. by means of rope and pun
this Inst at that critical moment, however,
his cruel father appeared, and that enrai
sire seized the young man, fastened
hook to his clothing, and left him Ga
oao' ling in the air till morning.
een "Now, young people" said a prote:
mere of natural history to his class, now u
ipon ss to hens: hen has the capacity oi
been ing lust six hundred eggs ava no M
kC. and she finishes the job In nst soouI
zion wears. Now, what is to be done WIN
after that ''CuJ Oh heA hS'eA
the her for a spring chicken = exclaimed nee,
urchin, whose father dealt IN poultry
wing Some years ago, in the days OF Sta
ected az a stranger was riding into Nortba
lroad tom. Mass, on the box with the drive
epouired of him IN regard to the den
o,or nation of the different churches, as
en-. ~ passed them. This" said the Or
or en- pointing to the Old church, SIS the
a.;ot. Line-this,' pointing to Edwards Ghu
Il ..is the New Line. and that 1.-THE I'M
- am is the Accommodation"
the A little Irish girl, about six years
meet living in Massachusetts,, was lately tel
some of her schoolmates-chIldren
Protestant parents, what great thing
Err. priest could do. why" said she, i
wished, he could turn man into 81
sged The other children laughed and said
r., didn't believe it. well" was her r
U'0N beautiful for its simplicity-"lt L
damn you, wouldn't believe It, but I've
but to-"