The avant courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1871-1872, 1871-11-16
VARIETIES.
kH8 - 49, ~ q ------ ~ q
Elz9 eaBtle plague CHATS.

6CtS II MHWduhcc.S likes Tie udQeT ulnd.
When does man feel girlish? When Ii
makes his llaiden speech
doctors motto is supposed to be Z pa
tents and long suffering.p
BARRIERS may make many friends, bul
scrape more acquaintance.
The man who popped the question by star
light got bis answer in a twinkling.
When Is a clock on the staircase danger.
Gus II Whdnit runs down.
The best person-indecd the only person
70 till vacuum, is dentist
A lobster never comes ashore without
great risk of getting into hot water.
The height of Sabbatanarianism- Finding
bank note on the pavement on Sunday
aud declinining to pick it up.
Farmers gathering their stock corn sing,
8 Fodder, dear fodder, come home with me
now.n
Ilop'k expect too much morality from your
edISs w evil Communications corrupt coed
morals.
The latest agony among fashionable New
York youth is to wear small thermometer
on the side of the hat.
Some one feeling that actions are better than
words has said: 1--WE read of the apostles,
but never of their resolutions.
The proverb says Hunger sweetens
beans i; - but a venerable housekeeper says
@sfle always found snolasses best to,lsa
A city man, who knows all about farming,
says the best way to raise strawberries is with
spoon.
The Mayor OF Macon, Georgia, offers
premium of $50 to. the .prettiest girl under
II, who shall appear in homespun dress at
the State Fair.
A note for the nose-a perfumer's business
ought to be lucrative. OF all business it
brings the best percentage.
Was the Roman matronywhose sons were
jewels mother of pearls? No, my child,
the Graechi were Comedians
A woman at revival meeting In Ohio, be-
coming satisfied that her jewelry was drag
cling her down to perdition,. gave it all to a
younger sister.
g Brothers in arms y twin boys.
sisA doubtful point--W ould it be taken as a
shoemaker sherry cobblcr?
One Of the old clergymen Of Boston ad-
vised parish committee looking about for a
pastor to take young man, on the ground
that every church should do its share Of tam
ing theological colts. ..sg ga
LADIES' parasols with watches in the han
dles are cited as singular freaks of fashion.
We have lately seen several bellies with
Clocks in their stockings. s5 ls.s
How to keep a dog from having the hy-
drophobia Give him all the water he can
drink, and In order to make sure thing of it
anchor him III a clear pond SO that his head
will be at least two feet below the surface.
Y Whed vineennes citizens meet they donot
ask concerning each Others health. They
simply shake and go directly to the near
est drug store for quinine.
JEu D'EsPRIT.-We are informed that the
Rothschild family is about to celebrate the
centenary Of the banking house to which it
ewes its fortune. Would II not be more cor
to describe the celebration as jew
bilee?
The phrase, g Con know how it Is your
self" has been traced to Shakespeare. The
idea is found in the g Merry Wives of Wind i
sor," Act III. Scene 2.
"a Rutland railroad employee. on being
snHaiged with contribution box while asleep
in church the other day, woke up enough to
remark: /" work on this road,'' and re-
turned to bis nap.
cit is cheerful to be sitting in a railroad car,
going at the rate of forty miles an hour, and /
have man pass through the train and leave
tract in your lap entitled, /" Prepare to
meet your God.'
a French servant likens the qnickness of
voition in an animal to the telegraph When
2 whale is harpooncd. he says the nerve teIe-
graphs to the creatures brain, I. Harpoon in
tail;' upon which the tail telegraphs back,
"Jerk tail and upset boat,
"A Milesian born on the last day of the
year telicitates himself on the narrow escape
from not being born at all. BE jabers,r
said be, land if it had not been till the next
day. what would have become of ne?'
A man sent a note to a rich neighbor, with
whom he was on friendly terms, to borrow
an ass for few hours. The worthy old man
was no scholar. and happened to have a
guest sitting with him ut the time, to whom
he did not wish to expose his ignorance.
Opening the note and pretending to read it,
he reflected moment. and turned to the SER
want, s. Very good said he 80 tell your mas
ter I'll come myself presently
A negro preacher. at recent Georgia
camp-meering,.: told his hearers they would
never get TO heaven with whisky bottles in
their pockets, and bcscnght them to bring
them fright up to the altar. and sacrifice
them tostlle Lord" When the time for eve
ming services came round, that preacher was /
very sound asleep IN his tent.
sWoMASIY MoDgsTy.-ian loves the mys-
ferrous. A eloudess sky, a fnIl-bloWn rose,
leave him unmoved, but the violet which
hides its blushing beauties behind the bush.
and the moon when she energies from be-
meath cloud, are to him sources Of inspira-
tion and pleasure. Modesty isto merit what
hnlI