Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-12-22
RELICS OF THE CHICAGO FIRE.
Their Manufuctnre-A Museum for their
PreservatiOn-SOme Articles which might
be Contributed as Characteristic Toke $.

I
/ nitely more so than pieces of the cruci-
fix on which our Savior died, which are
encountered in Italy. In point of num-
Der, they surpass the Roman coins in
| the British Museum, or the tablets,
statues, and mosaics that Pompeii and
Herculaneum have resurrected. They
| are more interesting in this numerous
feature than they are in any intrinsic
merit of their own. This fact has been
duly appreciated in Milwaukee, where
they have already established a manu-
factory of Chicago relics that is doing a
larger business than Milwaukee ever
hoped to obtain. .s. vs
l. Milwaukee may do smashing trade
in certain line of Chicago relics. They
UI1 probably y,faotI1ra napna, v-~issl>4s
by fusing papers of tacks together, or
can melt beads into a heterogeneous
mass; they can spoil old crockery by a.
blow-pipe combination, and otherwise
initiate the articles of bigotry and vir-
tue which are supposed to be all that
is left of Chicago as it was. There are
other relics of Chicago, however, which
Milwaukee can never hope to achieve.
There are relics of Chicago trade and
Chicago energy that Milwaukee will
never be able to initiate. Among the
rarest relics are greenbacks. For few
days subsequent to the fire, and before
the banks opened, a $40 government
| bill looked as big as q bed blanket.
After the banks opened there were
greenbacks enough, but their place as
relics was taken by checks. A signed
and certified check was so rarely seen
that it promised to become as much of
a curiosity as Mahlon Ogden's house or
Mr.. McCagg's conservatory, on the
North Side. Charred currency was one
of the most deceptive of all the relics
theefre turned out The more you had
of it the less it was worth. If you sent
thousand dollars worth of it to Wash
ington, you would be pretty sure to get
back about seven dollars and half
the remainder being national bank
currency which the government knows
too much to redeem. '''3
About as uncomfortable relic as the
fire left was safe. Unlike Mrs.
Toodles' door plate, with the name of
Thompson, and her coffin, it is not a
handy thing to have in the house. The
suggestion for a monument of safes was,
therefore, greedily accepted Dy all men
who were so unfortunateas to be the own
ers of these iron instances of 5incon-
stancy. The only objection to this
scheme for q monument of safes is
that, if another great fire should come,
it would probably be among the first
! things to be destroyed. If it is desira
BILE to have monument of the great
confagration, which shall be fire-proof,
it would probably be surer to build it of
papier maache. q. sA ryTf T
A good relic of the fire is an insur-
ance policy. 1t is worth more as a relic
than it is as a policy. There will also
be no difficulty in keeping it. Itwould
be the last thing on earth that anybody
would ever steal. An insurance policy
in Chicago company would be good
thing to throw in among your papers OF
value. 1t would be burglar proof. If a
thief should ever come across it he
would drop the whole mass as valueless.
If Chicago insurance policy is better
| for one thing than it is for another, it is
better as a. relic than it is for ~kindling
| fire; as a rule, it is too hard and tough
to serve for the latter purpose.
| Among the most dilapidated relics OF
| the conhagration was q that numerous
anatomical specimen, usually preserved
in spirits, that is sometimes known as
hummer" and sometimes as "scala'
wag.." The fire cleaned out this class of
individuals SO completely that; one of
them will henceforth be regarded as the
greatest curiosity of this community.
1t might be an interesting, and GER
tainly a highly patriotic proceeding to
H. L. fNff fhc
fire relic from each Of the most prom
inent institutions and buildings of the
city. A few suggestions may contribute
to give this movement ssome some practical
From the TFi5aes building might be,
taken that historic cockroach which
fseenned to be about The only live thing
about the establishment If something
more characteristic. were desired, and
the museum building should prove to
sufficiently strong to bear up, under the
weight, one of the editorials of that
paper-select any one for the past four
years-Would indicate something OF the
ponderosity of the institution. seoae
From the Times establishment there
would be SO many good things to select
| that it would be difficult to hunt its
representative Itwould be most char
acteristic, perhaps, to select one of the.
religious articles of the Sunday edition
criticizing the worldly and profane
course of the daily editions, or a chapter.
on the horrible crime of abortion, as
/ practiced in this city before the fire.
In the matter of the Mail, Republican,
Post, and Journal, their entire edition for
one day might be gathered in without
taking up any room to speak OF. 3sM
The theatres would furnish some IN,
terestipg relics. Crosby's Opera-House
might possibly contribute some, blonde
wigs, a good many short skirts, few
pads for the limbs, and one or two
Theodore Thomas tickets. McNicker
! could spare some of the brass horns he
used to have in his orchestra, and a mo-
del for the most cosy auditorium IN the
country. From Woods Museum might
be bottled one of those ancient and fish
| like smells that used to come up from
the regions below, and lady's hand
kerchief to be used alternately in pro-
tecting the nose from this onslaught
I and in " smashing" the young men in
the parquet. From Hooley's might be
. transmitted Frank Aiken's I" Ticket-of
Leave" The. Dearborn theatre could
deposit for safe-keeping that wonderful
baby which created such rumpus il
E its internal arrangements.
The hotels of Chicago could club to
gether and, in this way perhaps, let VI
! ! one good square meal. The bank
7 could make liberal donation of dis
. counted paper, on transactions tina
took place just before the fire withotl
collateral. The churches might presen