The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-05-27

he was trying to get over the fence
as quickly as possible, SO that the
bull only helped him in carrying
out an intention conceived Of his
own free will.
Grcely tells an inquirer that there
is no trouble in raising geese for
market if you don't weau them too
young. Let then, trot around with
the old eve till theic bridle,teeth
are grown, and you can then trans
plant them to the forcing frames
without willing.
A poor, emaciated freshman hay
ing called in physician in for
lorn hope, tho latter spread large |
mustard plaster and put it on the
poor fellows lean chest. Pat,
when with fearful eyes lie looked |
down on it said: 'Dccthor it strikes
Inc it's dale of mustard for SO lit
tie mate
During late performance of
The Lady @! Lyons at tie Nor
mon theatre in Salt Lake City, an
old elder get up and Indignantly
walked ont Of the house with his
twenty .-foul niyce, muttering, i
won't stay and see q play where
man makes such an awful fool of
hiuseif about one womann
4 stranger. Observing an ordi
nary roller rule on the table, took
it up, and, on inqniring its use,
was answered, III is a rnle for
countin s-houses. He. turned it
over and over, up and down, re-
peatedly, and at last, in parox
YEN Of baffied curiosity, he inquir-
ed: How in the name OF wonder,
do you count houses with this
thing
Martha, ny dear said q loving
husband to his spouse, who was
several years his junior, what do
you say about moving to the Far
YVest!'
ooh, / am delighted with the
idea! You recollect when Nir
Morgan moved ont there he was
as poor as We are; and in three
years lie died leaving his widow
worth 100000
A lecturer on the moral senti-
ments' in Philadelphia rer arked
that the dearest ship in the world
was friendship whereupon young
man rose Fl m among tho congre-
CATION, and stated that he knew
another dearer ship still--and
that was courtsliip- Tie young
man had once been g defend
ant in claim for breach Of prom
iso Of marriage.
Gentlemen seem TO prefer tie
English frcek coat and light pants
for :ull dress receptions To The
black swallow tails. and loW vests
An old lady who was sbal ply
questioned in the court by an an
cry lawyer, says she now undei-
stands What is meant BY eros =
examination.
Tie latest style Of engagement
ing is not solitaire, but il made
with three large solitaires placed
lengthwise on tho ring.
A church member in MildletoYn
Connec, who found stranger II
hia pew On Sunday morning, tcoE
hin by Tic collar and pulled hin
out into the aisle. Then he joined
6evoutly in The service.
An eminent oculist asserts tina
, Americans, like the Germans, vii
soon become specialized nation
unless they quit reading by defcc
: tive lights CT when on the raj
road.
The Detroit papers have discoY
) cred & new method Of driving av o.
the organ grinders. Every day {
two they have q snail parae zap
:. like this: - "Orgaa-grinde i
Memphis make about ten do.laEs
day
4 short letter, Gays Johnson, t
distant friend is, in my opinion
t an insult, like that OF slight boz
e or cursoiy salutation.
A good name is 1t the sane thu
a reward and ii bond; ii you gaj
il, you are pledged by it; it is nj,
:, earnest money received from tn
: public, and which obligoa us to Il
our duty,
;, Why is the letter U the gage
J, in the alphabet? Because it is Il
II ways in fun Yes bat WHY is
# tie tho most unfortunate in Tie Il
e phabct? Because it is always
trouble and difficulty
Tie New York Democrat acct
q >cs GreoIy OF advancing ideas' {
!; tie subject OF grating canred i,
e sscrs On to gooselcrfy tushcs.
e The strongest propensity III "
maa's nature, says careful st,
3 dent OF the ssx, is ~ saut to kao
L what is going on, aud the ne
Il strongest is to boss the job.
z" Two men, Joseph Spa.ks 81
&c Oscar Flint, were as sailed III =
suburbs of Baltimore few nj L
u ago by gang Of shoulder histei
j. Flint was knocked doNn and 10
ne bed, but his companion escaped
~ Hight. When the scoundreis
III Flint, SPARES FLEW.
a thick headed squire, heii