The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-18


and the citizens are Disgusting them
selves by getting peeled: An editor
there took bath the other day and
went home, and his wife drove him out
doors with a club, and he had had to
go and make affidavit that he was her
husband. Then she wouldn't believe
it until she examined his pocket-book
and found it empty, as usual, and
railroad pass inside. ....
King Amadeus of Spain, is com
mencing to "thin OUT the enemies OF
his government already. He has or
dered the Duke de Montpenster to pro-
ceed to seclusion on the Island of
Minbrea because he refuses to take the
oath prescribed to support the King.
We suppose of course the Duke will
Immediately organize revolution, he
having great strength, and having been
prominent candidate for the throne.
When lady condescends to prac-
tical joke, it is generally a very neat
one. NJ. BoncOrt, the rich hnancier,
was very stingy to his wife in the mat
ter of pin money. One day a lady,
closely yelled, and very anxious not to
be recognized, called upon him and
borrowed large sum, leaving her dia-
monds as pledge. 1t was his wife.
A deputatiun of the Maine Legisla-
ture, on a visit to the Insane Asylum
at Augusta, while walking through the
corridors, we're greeted by one of the
luuatics, who was peering through the
gratings of a cell door, with, "Well, |
declare, if here amt the animals from
Noah's Ark ~
A write. in the Pail Mall Gazette
says that the natural food Of the Eng
lish is beef and beer; of the Germans
sausage and flutes while the Ameri-
can diet is made of segars, politics and
newspapers. We think the Pail Mall
man isn't far out the way;
1t is a standing joke at one of the
hotels in Milwaukee, when strangers
lounge up to the counter and inquire.
Where are the amusements to-nightY'
to lead them up to the large church di-
reetory which hangs by.
The Yankeeisms-"d donated" ""col-
lided, "and "burglarized, have BEEN
badly used up by an English maga-
zine wliter, who huries them in niRe
pages of very uncomplimentary re-
marks.
An exchange says: 1--WE are in re-
ceipt oftwo poems, one on the 'Throb-
ing Brain, and the other on Beat
ing Heart We will wait until we
receive one on the Stomach Ache, and
publish all three together"
A young man in Virginia who is
frst-e class equestrian, said he could
pick IA cent off the ground without dis-
mounting, and his horse on a run.
He was bprne to his long home at the
head Of large procession.
A western paper, describing the.
speech OF a young orator, SAYS that
che broke the ice felicitously with his
opening, and was almost Immediately
drowned with applause"
"Have you Blasted Hopes?" asked
a lady of green Librarian, whose face
was much swollen by a toothache.
mo, ma'am, he replied, but | have
a blasted toothache." "
The Republicans swept almost every
thing in New Jersey at their late
Spring eleclious, and are consequently
jubilant as they may afford to be-
Jones and his wife agreed grandly
on one point; she thinks more of him
than of any body else in the world,
and SO does he.
A YouYg lady in Terre Haute insisted
on standing on her dress when she was
photographed, haying heard that the
camera Inverted the image.
The Herald says Boston is going to
torture Miss Nilsson with midnight
procession, Let them torch her
The king of Sweden is an adept in
the use of the pocket pistol,
Three thousand salt men are on a
strike at Syracuse.