The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-02-23
Women are Fond Of Pstting.

All that excess of hattering and pettihg of
which women are 80 fond becomes bore to q
man if required as part of the daily habit of
life. Out in the world as he is harassed by
anxieties of which she knows nothing, home is
emphatically his place of rest, where his wife is
his friend who knows his mind, where he may
be himself without the fear of offending, and
relax the strain that must be kept up out of
doors; where ne mny feel himself safe, under
stood, and at ease. And some women, and these
by no means the coolest or the least loving, are
wise enough to understand this need of rest in
the mans harder life, and accepting the quiet
of security as part Of the conditions of marri-
age, content themselves with the undemonstra-
tive love into which the fever of passion has
subsided. Others fret over it, and make them
selves and their husband wretched because they
cannot believe in that which is not forever pa
raded before their eyes. Yet what kind of
home is it for the man if he has to walk as if
on egg shells, every moment afraid of wound
ing the susceptibilities of woman who will
take nothing on trust and who has to be contin-
ually assured that he still loves her, before she
will believe that to-day is as yesterday? Of
one thing she may be certain no wife who un-
derstands what is the best kind of marriage de-
mands these continued attentions, which, VOL
untary offerings of the lover, become enforced
tribute from the husband. She knows that as
wife, whom it is not necessary to court or fiat
ter, she has nobler place than that which is
expressed ly the attention paid to mistress
Wifehood, like all assured conditions does not
need to be buttressed up; but less certain posi-
ton must be supported from the outside, and
insecure self-respect, an uncertain holding,
must be perpetually strengthened and reassur
ed. And yet we cannot but pity the poor, weak,
craving souls who long SO pitifully for the fresh
ness of the morning to continue far into the day
and evening, who cling so tenaciously to- the
feeting romance of youth. They are taken by
glitter of things-love-makiug among the rest;
and the man who is showiest in his affection,
who can express it with most color, and paint
it 80 to speak, with the minutest touches. is the
man whose love seems to them the most trust
worthy and most intense. They often make
the mistake of confounding this show with the
substance, of trusting to pictorial expressions
rather than to solid facts. And they often
make the mistake of cloying their husbands
all very well in the early days. but which be-
come tiresorne as time goes on and gravity of
life deepens. And then, when the man either
quietly keeps them off or more brusquely re-
pels them, they are hurt and miserable, and
think the whole happiness Of their lives is dead,
and all that makes marriage beautiful at an end
What is to be done to balance things evenly in
this unequal world of sexf What, indeed, is
to be done al any time to reconcile strength
with weakness, and to give each its due2 One
thing at least is true. The more thoroughly
women learn the true nature of men, the fewer
mistakes they will make, and the less unhappi-
ness they will create for themselves; and the
more patient men are with the hysterical excl
liability, the restless craving which nature, for
some purpose at present unknown, has made
the special temperament of women, the fewer
femmes incomprises there will be in married
homes, and the larger the chance of married
Happiness. All ones theory of domestic life
comes down at last to the give and take system,
to bearing and forbearing, and meeting half way
idiosyncrasies which one does not personally
share.