Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-02-12
TERENCE MIGRANT.

WElunB yez IN me HASN'T ABOUT the failure
Misther Murphy and meself made in our
indeavors to sacure the Faynians fhitch
had been released from prison in England.
The lasht thing Murphy said till me was,
'Terence, divil the care do I for the
Faynians, ony way, and only whit for
thin to appase yez cousin Ulisses, who
sames to think he can find some won who
can carry more votes than meself, fhicth
if he can he will be after appointing him
collector in me place. But fhateVer me
failiDgs may be as politician, begorra it
will throuble him to find won that dish
played more loyalty during the war than
meself. Didn't l furnish Army hats till
the governmint and only charge two
prices whin dishlOyal men were thrying
to shwindle the governmint be charging
three prices for the same2 And did eny-
one divide profits wild the quarthermas-
theirs wild ony more regularity than me-
self2 Divil the wonce. And whin yez
cousin was elicted President, who was the
firsht man to sthart subscription lisht
to be sfther buying him house, and who
put more money into the pool for buying
him horses than mesin? Arrah, Teddy,
now if yez cousin turns me out of thish
office, shall lose me faith in human
NJ ture.
withdrew from Mishter Murphy and
returned till Washington, and before l
had time to dhrink more than six or seven
times wild me cousin Ulisses, Mishter
Woodford came in, and towld us he had
drame the night pravious, to the effect
that me cousin was PONG to appoint him
COLLECTOR of the Custom House in place of
Murphy, and as he had heard that me
cousin was a great interpreter of drames,
he had hurried till his presence to be in
formed If the drame was rally an inspira-
ton or the result of a late supper Me
cousin towld Woodford that he had lock
ed over lisht of the presints that had
been received from New York. And
thus far had failed to observe the name
of Misther WOodford; shtill, as there
was fair proshpect of sleighing, if me
me cousin would recave four seated
Portland cutter, and four shtrings of sill
yer bells within twenty four hours, the
chances were decidedly favorable for the
satisfactory Interpretation of Mishter
WoodfOrd's dream. That gintleman
squszed me cousen's hand and started for
New York, and we expict the cutter and
the bells. If ye see Murphy ye can be
afther telling him to prepare to turn
over the shmuggled cigars and things di-
richly.
But the throuble l have sphoken of
sbove1is of mighty little consequence
compared wild racent Occurrance. Me
cousin towld me On Saturday that he had
received instructions from an agent in
California that be had sint distant rila-
ton of the family to Washington, who
insishted on being recognized be being ap-
pointed to some thrilling Office, and that
he EXPECTED him to arrive that aVeninc,
and he wanted me to go til the dippo and
bring him to the Finite House. l whit
down till the dippO for him, and may the
divl blow me out of the whather if the
new rilative wasn't hsythen Chinazer.
How the divil he can be rilative is the
batting Of meself and Bridget, but me cous-
in says when he WIS stationed in Cali
fOrnia, yares and yares ago, he boarded in
a Chinese family, and all that is pecessa-
ry for US to know Is that this Chinazer
is rilative, and we mustn't trate him as
such or we may be hOisted out of the
house ourselves. Besides, me cousin
says aven if he wasn't a rilative, it is
policy to trate him civil, because his race
will vote at the mkt Presidential cleo
ton, snd they can bate Irishmen voting
ony time. l have nothing against this
haythen, and It pains me
to see the efforts Bridget is making to
get rid Of him. She has found he has a
passion for ating rats, and she has
bought box of Tatexterminator, and is
going to furnish him all the rats he can
ste, ready saysoned. The hsythen says
he has over 100, 900 rilatives. May the
Kind Providence have mercy Oh the resht
# US.
Auab, and bad cess till that CODgriss-
nan named Bowen. Ye miDd he was
.Tisted here for some bigamy caused be |
marrying two women. Al! the Dino
rats kept making fun of me cousin be-
'ause he tuck the part of Mishter Bowen. |
We cousin towld them that it was cush- |
Omary in some parts of the country for |
earned men to marry twice before having |
funeral in the family, but that to marry |
hree wives was wicked, and laid a man
liable to be hung. They had become !
atisfied that MisLher Bowen was all |
ight, whin all of a suddint a third wo-
nan comes along end claims to be the |
rife of ths, came legal Congressman, and |
We don't know that to do. If she isn't |
,oiuo,,o1 bafOro tho tbr;al nOr,oc oFF :. =,
ding to have bad look for our psrty,
s ali of us have shwOrn we would do the
anne as Bowen did if we had a chance.
he DimICrats will niver get done tasing
ne cousin about it.
For the pssht year me cousin hss re-
sved a great many lethers from paple |
king for some Office, but shtating that
hey were poor and had nothing to give,
Mess it was COW or q calf, or some
hing of that kind. Me cousin has here
DfOre paid no attention to such paple,
ecause he had no use for COWS and
alves at the Finite House, but so many
+ such cases are occurring that he has
Ouud it necessary to do something 10
revent these COWS and calves from run
ing to washte. So he has made I'D his
u
lind to organize q mammoth dairy on
is farm near st. Louis, to furnish the
APPLE of that city wild milk, and here
fter ony proposition in the shtock lire
I'LL be promptly attended 10. Since
ne chances of removing the Fede-
81 capital to St Louis are so
him, it has become NECESSARY to use the
arm for something, to make it pay ex-
inses. And thin there is another thing,
here are great many dishloyal paple in
/ st. Louis, but the throuble is we can't
nd out who they are, they look so much
Ike our own party, but whin it comes to
citing they vote the wrong way livery
me. Now whin me cousin gets his
airy to running and his milk piddlerS TO
milk to the city, it will be sisy
, tell who is loyal Those that buy our
lilk will be considered all right, but
lose that refuse to do so will be set down
5 copperhids. BegoTa, hope me cousin
Kisses will sind Bridget and mesef there