davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

MEN WHO WIN WoMEN.-Godh has so
made the sexes that women, like chill
dren, cling to men lean upon them for
protection, care and love; look up to
them as though they were superior in
mind and body. They make them the
suns of their system. and they and their
children revolve around them. Men
are gods, If they but knew it. Women
therefore, who have good minds and
pure hearts, want men to lean upon.
Think Of their reverencing q drunkard,
a liar. a fool, or libertine. If man
would have woman do him homage,
he must be manly it, every sense true
gentleman, not after the Chesterfield
school, but polite, because his heart is
full of kindness to all; one, who treats
her with respect, even difference, because
she is q women who never condecends
to say silly things to her; who brings
her up to his leYel If his mind is above
hers; who Is never over anxious to do
right; who has no time to be frivolous
with her; always dignified in speech
and act; who never spends too much
upon her; who never yields to tempta
ton, even if she puts it in his way who
is ambitious to make his mark in the
world, whether she encourages him or
not; who Is never familiar with her to
the extent Of being an adopted brother
or cousin, who is not over careful about
dress; always pleasant ard coIsiderate.
but always keeping his place of The man,
the head, aud never losing it. Such de.
pertinent, with noble principles, good
mind, energy, aud industry, will win
any woman in the world who is worth
winning.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Yield and Prices Of Farm Products

The monthly repart of the Staticti-
clan Of the Department of Agriculture
says that returns from January show
uniformly high rate Of yield, as COM
pared with that of 1865; also, as with
the average Of a series of years.
The increase of corn over 1869
in the northern half of the New Eng
land states appears to have been at
least five bushels per acre, while the
southern half, in consequence of severe
drouth, shows small decrease. The
middle States present an increase Of
nearly five bushels per acre. Virginia
and the Carolinas sugered severely
from the drouth, and report reduced
yield. The Gulf States have = better
crop than last year, the advance rang
ing from one to six bushels per acre.
The States Of the Mississippi and Ohio
valleys, with the exception of Iowa
present higher figures than last year.
The difference is marked in Illinois,
the yield having advanced from 23.2
to 25.2, difference of twelve bushels
per acre, or fully 75,O0o,ooO bushels;
yet the difference is due less to the
liberal yield Of 1870 than to the poor
crop of 1869. The yield of wheat,
howcvef, is less than that Of the pre-
vious year, and the returns of oats, rye
and barley generally show reduction
in the rate of yield.
Prices Returns Of prices in home
markets indicate decline from last
January in corn and oats, and an advance
in wheat, rye, barley, hay and patatocs.
The small flint corn of New England
bears higher price than the dent corn
of the West, and the deficient supply
Of the cotton states keeps prices high
that region. The price of wheat in
Maine and New Hampshire is lower
than in January of last year; elscwere
it is higher. Oats have followed the
decline of corn. The average price of
barley and rye suffered reduction, but
that of hay and potatoes was increas-
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
A Good Retort.

The English make a distinction he
TWEEN sick aud i'll. The former they use
slight ailments like nausea or sickness
at the stomach, the latter of protracted
or serious illness. They often laugh at
Americans TOR neglecting such distinc-
ton. This once led to an impairment
question, and very happy retort.
A British merchant receiving at his
own house Yankee youth at q little
party, said, in tone that attracted the
notice of the whole company:
GOOD evening! We haven't seen
you for long while. Have you been
scck' tthe sneer prolonged the word ].
las you say in your country?" mo.
thank YOU" said the other frankly and
promptly. have been hill, as they
say IL yours.
The host was sensible enough to ioin
his guests in the laugh that followed
He RETAINED from Il second attack ON
Americans.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

At the Cooper Institute at New
York. they have telegraph school, in
which they prepare young ladies to be
telegraph operators. They sit at the
various desks and send messages to
each other. The institution has sent
out over fifty graduates.
The Mons Cennis Tunnel under the
Alps, virtually completed, will soon be
wholly done. With regard to our own
Hoosac Tunnel, it seems to be the gen.
eral opinion that the work is going on
more successfully now than ever before,
and will probably be finished within
the present generation.
The foreign papers tell of an extraor-
binary blast in q granite quarry in
Cornwall, England, in which by the use
Of twenty pounds of powder, a solid
rock of granite was thrown out at once,
measuring Al ft.,.6 in. in length, "a #.
in breadth, and 8 feet, 6 inches thick.
1t is thought to be the largest stone
ever thrown out at blast.
The Hydrate of Choral, which has
been regarded as a most important
discovery, by medical men, for its re-
markable quoting qualities, develops
by use another tendency, which makes
it in certain systems very dangerous.
1t is found to decompose the blood,
and to bring on hcmorrhage from
wounds which is not easily stopped.
One of the great engineering works
of our country is the building the East
River Bridge at New York. The Gals
son on the Brooklyn side has already
been sunk to its resting place. 1t was
commenced year ago last November,
and the process of sinking begun last
March. The foundation is forth-fve
feet below high water mark. The
bridge when finished is to be 11s feet
above high water. ...
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

Specific PRAYER.-When the daily
noon prayer meeting was started in
London, every body began praying for
the world--the whole world. About
the second week the prayer began to
be limited in the main. to Europe; the
third week to England !. the fourth t.
London; and about the fifth week the
burden Of prayer began to be. 20, Lord (!
have mercy on me; break up the fallow
ground Of my soul; give me broken
heart" Aud then, and not til! then
Gods Spirit came down upon the meet
inv in power. .t
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Monkeys and Memories.

Authors generally think that the
monkey nce is not capable Of retaining
lasting impressions; but their memory
is remarkably tenacious when striking
events call ii into action. A monkey
which was permitted to run free had
frequently seen the men servants
in the great country kitchen, with its
huge fireplace, take down n powder horn
that stood on the chimney piece. and
throw few grains into the fire, to make
.Ienima aud the rest scream, which they
always did Oh such occasions very pref.
tily. Pug waited his opportunity; and,
when all WAS still and he had the kitch
ell to himself, he c!ambered up, got pos
session Of the well-filled powderhorn,
perched himself gineerly on one of the
horizontal wheels, placed for the sup
port OF saucepans, right over the warm
ashes Of al extinct wood fire, screwed
of the top Of the horn, and reversed it
over the CRATE. The explosion sent him
half way up the chimney. Before he
was blown up he was snug, trim, WELL
conditioned monkey as ever you could
wish to see on summer day he came
down carbonated negro in miniature,
in an avalanche of burning SCOT. The
weight with which he pitched upon the
hot ashes in the midst Of the general
fiare-up aroused him to seEse of his
condition. He was missing for days.
Hunger Mt last drove him forth. and he
sneaked into the house, close singed,
begrimed, and looking scared aud devil.
ish but, like some other great parson'
ages, he never got over his sudden ele-
walton and fall, but became sadder and
wiser monkey. Ifever Pug forgot him
self aud was troublesome, you had only
to take downs powder-Eorn in his pres
enee, and he was off to his hole like q
shot, screaming and chattering his jaws
like pair of castinets.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

Tho Second Assistant Postmaster
General, General Smith, has received a
bid from A. E. Haskell, of Fort Has
kell, offering to carry the mails between
Sioux City and YanktoD, a distance OF
sixty five miles, daily each way, for one
cent a year for the next four years.
Mr.. Haskell, moreover, agrees to ''set
aside and appropriate all that remains
after paying fines, &C., for failures to
connect, towards the payment Of the
national debt incurred during the late
unjust and unholy rebellion" General
Smith awarded him the contract. He
also wrote him, saying, "Your efforts
towards liquidating the national debt
are truly conmendable."
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
ORIGINAL NOTICE.
John Pritchardl Circuit Court of Cidar con,
against Iowa, February Term.

John Pritchardl Circuit Court OF Cidar county
against Iowa February Term 1871
Amos Stanlcy.> ~
To Amos Stanley, Defendant:
You are hereby nofifies that there Is now ~,
nle In the office OF the Clerk Of the Circuii
Court in and for the county of Cedar. in the
plaintiff, claiming OF you the sum of one hun
a a and sixty .three dollars, on an account
due on settlement with Resin Pritchnrd as.
signed for value TO this plaintiff, ali uf which
10 more fully set forth In bill OF items attach
Cd TO said petition, and made part thereof
P!aintif also asks In his petition for a writ 81
attachment which has Issued Against vour
property. monies and credits
Now unless you appear to said petition And
defend thereto at or before noon OF the second
day OF the next term Cfsnid court to be begun
and held At Upton. in said county on the i3th
day OF February. lNl, q default will be entered
against you. and Judgment rendered thereon
In accordance with the PRAYER Of said clifton
4w2 q. Z. Saith, Atty for PrT
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Double Meanings.

THE English language is peculiarly
abundant In words and phrases which
are capable Of two meanings, and which
| thus give rise to an endless number Of
mistakee. catches, and puzzles, which
afford great deal OF the amusement Of
everyday life. A familiar example II
the word got, which may mean either
was, or procured. Thus one boy says to
another, with n grave face, Fired got
shot to day." "Where ?" asks the other
In alarm. HE got shot in q hardware
store" Is the answer-meaning, Of
course, that he bought 1t.
A man assured a storekeeper who hes
itated to trust his companion for a pur.
chase: aft he refuses to pay for It,
will" His companion refused to pay
for it, and go did tho speaker-as In one
sense he had said he would. It is thus
very easy, by using Uncertain language,
to convey false impression.
A sheriff asked the wife Of Quaker
against whom he had writ il her hus-
band was at home. She replied: Eyes;
he will see thee in a moment" The
sheriff waited; but the Quaker did not
appear. He was contented with seeing
the sheriff; he did not care that the
sheriff should see him.. r.. .r.. ~
The position OF words in sentence
and the use of stops often entirely alter
the meaning. Thus an account of flu
neral declares: "The remains were
committed to that bourne from which
no traveller returns attended by his
friends" s.s
Ignorant people are very apt to use
phrases with double meanings without
intending to do SO. Among the adver.
tisements we may sometimes read that
respectable young woman wants wash.
ing.
The proprietor Of bone mill adver-
tises that parties sending their own
bones to be ground will he attended to
with fidelity and dispatch. 1t was once
related in u city paper how, during the
celebration, a child was run over. wear
ing short red dress, which never spoke
afterward.
Many popular puzzles depend on the
ambiguity or double meaning Of words
and phrases. Thus we are told there
was man who had six children, and
had never seen one of them. We are
led to suppose that none of the children
had ever been beheId by their parent.
But the words may mean equally as
we'll that one of them had been born
while the man was OH Il journey, and lie
had, consequently, never seen that one.
Another puzzle is this. There was poor
blind beggar who had a brother; the
brother died, but the man who died had
no brother. What relation was tue beg
gar to the man who died? We are apt
to think that the beggar was man
but, when we think that the beggar
might be a girl, the answer becomes
quite plain.
We are told of two men who met each
other at an inn, and greeted each other
The hotel-keeper in
quired OF one how he was related to the
other, who replied:
Brother and sister have none,
Yet this mans ia ther was my fathe's son.
This is a perfectly plain statement,
and yet there are clear enough to see at
once that this jingle Of words is only o
round about way of saying that this man
was the speakers son.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23


HAD SALARY ENOUGH ministers In
our day. rarely object to an inc'easso'
salary, but we hnd in an exchange
capital story of an old Connecticut pas.
tor who declined it fer very substantial
reasons. His country parish raised his
salary from three hundred to four hun
dred dollars. The good man refused for
three reasons: First" said he, "hc-
cause you can't afford to give more than
three hundred. Second, because my
preaching isn't worth more than that.
Third, because have to collect my sal-
airy, which heretofore has been the
hardest part Of my labor among you. Ii
have to collect an additional hundred
it will kill me."
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Farm for Sale.

A n IMPROVED FARM Of 257 acres, ndmira.
n bly, located In the north edge OF Red Oak
Grove, four miles north of Upton, is offered
for sale on favorable terms. The farm Ia all
fences. with four hundred rods OF young Usage
hedge growing: has living water for stock: a
large bearing orehard: good two-story house
is by 40. with addition % by a. The farm will
be sold entire or divided to suit buyers.
For further information apply to VIM, II
Tnthill, Upton: Cook 4 Drury, Davenport: OF
on the premises to the subscriber.
Nf JOHN w. BROWN
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
FARM FOR SALE.

A VALUABLE, WELL IMPROVED FARM
a situated six miles east OF Upton, eight
miles south Of Clarence, and sixteen miles
north OF Wilton, consisting Of 24O acres choi 20
prairie land, all under cultivation: 80 acres ri
IL IL tame grass miles OF hedge. living water
~ aPpie Trees, cherry, pear. and plum trees
5000 timber land, two dwelling houses. stable
c n1.os. ana out buildings. Terms moderate
Inquire OIL. G. PrATr, Tiptoa.
May 18th, 10 amo,
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Ayers Ague Cure,

Fer Fever and Ague, Internittent Fever,
Chill Fever. Renittent Fever, Dumb
Ague, Periodical or Bilious Fever, &C.,
and indeed oil the affections which arise
from malarious, marsh, or miasmatic
poisons.
As its name implies IL does Cure. and does not
fail. Containing neither Arsenic, Quininc Dsmuth,
Zinc, any other mineral or poisonous substance
whatever, it in nowise Injuries any patient The
number and importance of its cures in the agIe dis
trcts, are literally beyond account, and we believe
without parallel in the history of Ague medicine.
Our pride Is gratfcd by the acknowledgements VIC
receive Of the radical cures effected in obstinate
cases, and where other remedies had wholly failed.
Unacclimated persons, either resident in, or
travelling through masmatc localities will be pro-
tccted by taking the AGVE CURE daily.
For Lirer Co,nnlninfs. arising from torpidtv
Of the Liver, it is excellent remedy stimulating
the Liver into healthy activity.
For Bilious Disorders and Liver Complaints, it is
an excellent remedy, producing many trlv re-.
markahle cures, where other medicines had failed.
Prepared by DR.. J. c. AVER Co, Pract"a!
and Analytical Chemists, Lowell, Mass, and sold
all round the world.
PRICE, 800 PER BOTTLE.
For sale in Upton by ID. l.. schmucker and
A 4
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
il M M i N AGOGUE,

WARMERS EMMENAGOGUE IL the only article
known to cure the Whites, ut will in every
Where Is the family IN which this important medicine
Ia not wanted? Mothers this IL the greatest blessing
ever offered you and you should Immediately procure
It, also sure cure for Female Irregularities and
may be depended upon in every where the month
~ flow has been obstrncted through cold disease.
Sold by druggists. Price One Dollar Or by mail
on receipt of One Dollar and Quarter.
All the above Medicines are for sale in Upton by
Mcnamara & Lytlc, d. r. Schumacher, and A. NJ.
Kirk l. Co. i6yI
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

A remedy for children crying is pro-
posed. It is to dash cupful Of water
into the infants face, and the inventor
asserts that few repetitions will suffice
We should think SO. Holding the
head uuder water several minuted is
nearly as good. ....
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

John Burns, San Francisco, has been
declared insane for threatening to shoot
his wife and set fire to his house. A
local paper says that as the former is
very homely, and the latter fully insur-
ed, the evidence is " cak.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
WARMERS
PILE REMEDY.

Warmers Pile Kennedy has never failed mot
even in case) to curet worst OF Blind
Itching Bleeding piles. Those who are afflicted
should Immediately call on their druggist and get
pits and il moi racnm re- c,ra nw h.r AZ.
ease 1t has cured many cases of over thirty years
standing. Price One Dollar. For sale by Druggists
everywhere.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23

Sheriff sale.


By virtue Of q special execution to me di-
s,ted. issued from the office OF the Clerk OF
e Circuit Court. in and for the county of &C.
,r and State OF Iowa, in favor OF Elizabeth
atty. and against Amos Stanley and san
,rd Xy1Andt. I have levied upon the follow
,g pf6perfy as Tie property OF the said Amos
tanley and Sanfer ri V Iandt, to wit:
Lot number two III and thirty cd feet of or
he south side of lot number three t3l. being
hirty 800 feet on Cedar street by one hundred
nd iorty.two a42) feet deer; also. par, OF lot
- - - =. cGnsYhencinK at southwest corner
NsaYd fof Humber one ~, on the alley thence
asst on 5th street. seven nt77)fecf, thence
north lfty 50 feet TO the north line OF sau lot
10 one ], thence west scveuty-seven ~ zee, 70
10 aiiey' thence south fifty 90 feet to the place
fI,e1inning all in block number Ten tlo) In
he town OF Tipton In said county.
And shall offer the same nor see AZ INC
Court House door. IN the town o. I,p1 Eal In
Aid county. OF Saturday, the llth day OF feprn-
arv a. ID. 1871. at one o'clock +. NJ. OF sala dhN,
x satisfy said execution and costs that May
sI1a1sd, this IKh day Of January A. Ar, n 1871. rs
80 sheriff Of Cedar County, iowa.
Per A. B. Maynard, Deputy.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Why and Where
our Pifnos are superior to any in the market

Our pamphlet contains engravings of
all the different styles Of Instruments
that we manufacture, giving full de-
scription of each, So that a person can
select he style they may desire to order,
with the assurance that they will re-
ceive justas good Piano As if they were
in our warerOOms to selectit. We have
sold over FIVE THOUSAND Pianos,
many Of them being shipped great dis
tances, and we have never yet received
the first complaint. As we give a writ
ten guarantee with every Piano we man.
ufscture. for five years, the purchasers
runs no risk. --, l. s p.
Don't fail to scric for oar 31amphie,
Which IRE matt Free, and whca you Write
s'tt'c ehat paper you sdm this notice in.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
Ayers Cherry Pectoral
For Diseases Of the Throat and Lungs,
such a. Coughs, Colds, Whooping
Cough, Bronchitis, Asthma,
and Consumption.

such a. Coughs, Colds, Whooping
Cough, Bronchitis, Asthma,
and Consumption.
Probably never before in the whole history Of
medicine, has anything won widely and so deeply
upon the confidence Of mankind, as this excellent
remedy for pulmonary complaints. Through long
series of years, and among most Of the races OF
men it has risen higher and higher in their estlma.
ton, as it has become better known. Its uniform
character and power to curethe various affections
of the lungs and throat, have made ii known as re.
liable protector against them. While adapted to
milier forms of disease and to young children, it is
Mt the time the most efectual remedy that can
be given for incipient consumption, and the dan.
gerOus affections of the THROAT and lungs AS pro.
vision against sudden attacks of Group, it should
be kept on hand in every family, and indeed as ali
should be provided with this antdote for them.
Although settled Consumption is thought In.
curablc still great numbers Of cases where the dis.
ease seemed settled, have been completely cured,
and the patient restored to sound health by the
Cherry pcctOrni. So complete is its mastery
over the disorders Of the Lungs and Throat, that
the most obstinate Of them yield to it. When moth.
ing else could reach them under the Cherry Pee
toral they subside and disappear.
Singers and Public Speakers find great pro-
lection from II.
Asthn,a is always relieved and often wholly
cured by it.
bronchitis is generally cured by taHfng tho
Cherry Perforal in small and frequent doscs.
So generally are its virtues known that VIC need
not publish the certificates Of them here 10 mere
than assure the public that its qualities are fully
maintained.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
MIR. ELISHA s HI-RR ARD
$4,000 REWARD
For IL Better Tonic than
RRAhVb'S HOLLAND lLTTBlS.

prepared from the choicest and most grateful
tonic and cnrIninatiVes in the vegetable king
dom. This is not new and untried remedy,
but one known lor ears past ana USED III The
families Of thousands of our citizens through
out the North. South, East and West, for DlS-
PEPSIA, in FL Its forms. For Piles, Aciaity,
Indigestion, heartburn. II earthurn, Headache,
Waterbrash, Jostiveness, Loss of Appetite.
The intrinsic value offhcse Bitters justitics up
In offering them to the public, with conf
dence which the most doubtful will gain by a
single trial eve do not prepare them a
1RoG but as MEDICINE. and they will he
found. not In saloons, bat IN respectable Drug
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
NO MORE

Warmers Cough Hal.am is hcAling softening
and expectorating The extraordinary power II pos
Ing the most obstinate cases OF Coughs, Colds Sore
Throat Bronchitis Innnenza, Catarrh HoarSeEess,
prompt is the relief and certain Its effects in all the
above any affection of the throat and lungs
that thousands of physicians daily prescribing it,
and one and all that 1t il the most healing and
pectoratng medicine known One dose always af-
lords relief and in most cases one bottle effects
Sold by druggists in large bottles Price One Dollar
your own fault II you still cough and suffer The
Dasam will cure.