The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-07-14

Ihe land OF 1'ane-A sugar planta-
ton.
How to raise beets-Take hold OF
the tops and pull.
Men are like words-when not
properly placed they loose then
,a.ue.
4 good toast-Something never to
be found in u boarding-Louse.
Politeness, like running water,
smoo,hes the most rugged stone.
Amy Richardson of Iowa, weighs
$50 pounds. This is the latest Gu, e
of bigamy.
The executive ordt rs to our naval
commanders to open war upon the
Haytien republic, in certain cases. has
created breeze III Washington.
Whenever l catch theory, / al
WAYS yoke it to the nearest fact, and
watch how they dr,y together. But
then there is u great deal in the har
Messing.
My dear" said John. on observing
Il new rioel hose ON Lis only heir.
why have YOU nude BARRIERS poles
of Earnest's le.s?' because he's
little shaver" !" was the reply.
Buss, kiss; rebuss, kiss again /;
pluribus. TO kiss irrespective OF Sc, /;
siliybuss, to kiss the hond instead o.
the lip; blunderbuss, to kiss the wrong
person; omnibuss. to kiss all pro-
miscuously; erebus, to kiss in the
dark.
There is no such thing as menial
Office when you put true nan into
it; aud meu:al office is an office with
mean man III it; it makes no differ
euce whether its king or Il scaven
ser S Office.
The Connecticut mind takes to econ
omy very naturally. An old lady
living in the Nutmeg State has ia
booed candles and taken to gas OH
this account: She says gas is hardly
half cent foot, while c.ndles are
i've cents a foot.
A lady teacher in one of the pul =
l:c schools of town in Wisconsin has
laid aside her ferule aud adopted the
meti o / of kissing her pupils into
obedience. The larger boys are par
ricularly unruly. and require almost
daily correction.
What relations are least regar-
ded? said a professor of mental phi
iosophy of an id O student. After a
desperate attempt to answer the
question, the delinquent replied:
Poor relations, sir! poor relations
beyond all question, sirI'
The Danbury News tells O story
of new boy in one of the Ridge
field Sunday Schools, who being asked
who made the beautiful hills about
them, replied that he did not know,
as his parents only moved into town
the Friday before.
An absent minded Indianian who
started out for his COW, found the
cow bell in the middle of the road,
and pocketing it, followed its tinkle
for twenty miles before he re,uem-
bsred it was not Oh the cows neck.
The new Governor of New Hamp-
shire. in his inaugural address, said
he thought the legislators knew bet
ter what the people of the State want
and wish than he did. Few Cover
nors will make such admissions as
this.
An oil speculator at Titusville, Pa.
who is worth quite number OF mill.
ion dollars, received letter from q
young woman who was going to be
married to poor young man, and
wanted him to give her SIS 900 as be
would never miss it. The speculatoi
said he would ask his wife about it.
Hon. John Prentiss of Keene, New
Hampshire, is the oldest Mason in the
United ..tates. He received his de.
4 grees in 1907, and is now 90 years oi
age.
j At Saginaw, Mich. two girls made
a wager that they could take five
gralcs of morphine. Mey both wor
the bet, and are now sleeping wiere
the daisies blow. Their father said
} that he never knew year when girls
, died off SO sudden.
4 The intermarriage of two familie.
: in Maine is remarkable. One con
sisting of four sons and one daughter
has married all of neighbor's chill
dren, four daughters and a son.
NEW ApvERTlS 4 NJ EN- S