The Placer herald., 1871-10-07

| m, but hot word more would she say, and
| Clark, after exhausting eloquence enough
to have moved a jury in a murder case, alb
ruptly left the room, swearing vengeance
upon the head of the unfortunate Merdeau.
| "l'u shoot him-I WILL" muttered the
excited Clark. "I'll make him dsgorgt
the fatal secret of my unfaithful Laura. O.
| see it-mayhap he is her medical adviser
horror of horrorsl mayhap she-is a-has
been wife--a mother-a-my conjecturet
darken! Doctor-the title is suggestive and
ominous; she was paying him gold--it must
have been for services, and be bade hel
goodbye until his services were further
needed o. see through the affair now."
Now if Mr.. Clark had been one Of tht
chivalry, he would have hunted up Docto,
Merdeau, and ordered coffee and pistols fol
two; had he been a genuine down-easter,
have an idea that he would have either giver
the gentleman taste of his mind or the
weight of his fists; but he was neither; so be
determined to see how the affair would end
and nursed his wrath to keep it warm.
His wife did not appear at the tea-table; a
severe headache was the excuse, and when
be retired he found her head wrapped in a
wet towel, she to all appearances fast asleep.
In the morning she made some trivial excuse,
and did not 60 down to breakfast, but Clark
had his eyes open. He noticed that as he
+, descended the steps for "down town." his
wife vas watching him from the window,
seeming Strange and pale, yet looking glad
withal that he was going. Clark was not to
be deceived, so he went down the street,
back by the alley, in at the back gate, and
bribing Bridget, gained his own room un-
known to his darling. Clark felt that q
crisis was approaching; brace of revolvers
were taken from a drawer, cleaned and load
ed, an old sword that bis father had carried
in the war Of 1912, was belted to his waist,
and an old flint musket Of revolutionary
glory was made ready for acticn; but some
how Clark was i'll at ease, and drawing the
balls from the revolvers, substituted peas
lead might might break the windows
and-so might peas, upon further considera-
ton. So the peas were withdrawn. Clark
would be on the safe side. Clark ,ras on
the safe side
A ring at the door, step on the stairs,
his wise's door few open, and his adorable
angel rushed out to neet-whom? None
other than that odious, villainous doctor |!
best to put the revolvers aside entirely; he
really was getting too many irons in the fire,
the musket apd sword-but then the mus
ket was heavy and the sword rusty. Dis
crction was the better part Of valor, after all :,
80 with only his natural arms the aggrieved
husband stole Oh tiptoe to the head of the
stairs, and assuming recumbent posture,
looked down into the hall from whence the
sound of voices issued.
"Here they are" he heard the stranger
Ito him) say. II think they will quite suit
you now, Mrs. Clark"
"Yes, think so--really it was 30 en-
barraesing Clark has been making
quite eccne about your visit yesterday, SO
will send hereafter !" Here followed few
words quite uninteligible to the listener,
who groaned in anguish Of spirit and Of
knees.
"Good morning, madam"
"Good morning, Doctor Merdeau."
Mrs Clark turned and was about to trip
lightly up stairs when her leige lord in too
great haste to arise, stumbled and fell head
long. surprising bis better half in quite a
tangible way, and the loving p couple
were precipitated violently to the floor below.
Mrs. Clark screamed-Alr. Clark groaned.
As the latter arose to his feet, he felt some
thing crush beneath bis heel.
"There!' exclaimed his wife agonizingly.
"What?"
"My teeth! you've broken my teeth!'
"Zoundsl are you crazy, madam? your
teeth?"
"Cost hundred dollars six months ago!
What will Doctor Merdeau say now?"
Doctor Merdeau? False teeth, mad
amp
Light was beginning to penetrate Mr..
Clark's brain, as he noted the curious ruins
on the floor.
"Nell, the secrets out" cried Mrs Clark
in burst Of tears. Doctor Merdeau is
the dentist. l broke one Of the teeth yes
terday, and sent for him to come and get
them to repair them. You understand all
now Mr. Clark-leave me, if you want to.
0 dear, dear; but they cost hundred dollars.
and o, how look!'
One gaze at bis wife, and Clark fled pre-
cipitately up stairs. But another set Of
teeth was forthcoming in due time, and to
this day Mr.. Clark is as jealous as bis wife
in keeping her secret.
Josh Billings discourses thus on the Din
ner Horn: This IL the oldest and most
sakred horn thar il. 1t is set tew musk,
and plays Home, Sweet Home" about
noon. It has bin listened tew with more
rapturous delight than even GraAulals band
has. Yu ken hear it further than yu ken
one Of Mr.. Rodman's guns. 1t will arrest q
man and bring him in quicker than sheriff q
warrant. 1t ken out foot eny other noise.
It kauses the deaf to hear, and the dumb te
shout for joy! Glorious instrument! LONG
may yure lungs lastl"
In true womanhood are combined all the
best attributes Of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
| without weakness; trust without credulity
modestv without prudery: dignity without