Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1871-01-12
HunlOr.

'.RoLnINe" is the Nevada euphemism
for highway robbery,
Way should young ladies never wear
stays Because 1t is so horrid to see a
girl tight"
Ma PRIMROSE was recently trans
planted TO the Detroit State prison for
embez2lement. where hewili henceforth
blush unseen.
'FRIsoo has completed It's earthquake
proof building, and now deiiantly cries,
Bring on your shakes y
"NRw ORLEANS. st. Louis, San
Francisco and New Jerusalem papers
please copy" is a note attached to o
marriage notice in the Alaska Herald.
LIEUT.. Governor Stannard, of Mis-
souri,, is described by western paper
as the largest grain dealer in the
Northwest, having the largest income
of any man in Missouri; jolly, pious,
good fellow, powerfulin prayer, exhora-
tion and stump-speaking,
That is mean man they tell of Port
land, who makes a practice of dropping
into a store every morning, reading his
friends paper pocketing it and giving
it to another friend, who pays him half
the subscription price for the privilege
of reading 7" his" paper.
"WHY don't you wear your ring, my
dear2n said father In ballroom to
his daughter because, papa, it hurts
me when any one squeezes my hand. j"
''What business have You to have your
have squeezed ?" Certainly none; bat
still, you know, papa, that one would
like to keep it in a squeezable order.
A BOY was sent by his mother to saw
some stove-wood ont Of railroad ties.
Going outdoors shortly after she found
the youth sitting on the saw horse with
head down. The mother asked rhope-
ful son why he was cast down, and why
he didn't keep at his work. The boy
replied: "Mv dear mother find it hard,
very hard, to sever old ties. :"
"Mog1ad est beer ct preUGLGbW
should be the motto of the Bavarian
army. Made is miserable stimulus
to these brave fellows compared to the
incentive of "a long drink" "Look
here, my lads" said a major to his men,
cit is now 8; at Il wen tap new bar
rel at Weisenbourg. There was no re-
sisting men with this in prospect, and
the barrel was preached at the appoint
ed hour.
A New YORK correspondent writes
The other day the front door of the
New York Tribune Office had been closed
for some porpose. So Horace Greeley
wrote on piece of paper, Entrance
Spruse street." and sent it down to the
man who does the painting Of the bullet
ms to be copied. The men studied over
Horace's tracks all the forenoon, and
finally in despair, wrote editors on a
Srree!n and posted itup. The passers-by
thought the circumstance was not unu-
sual but wonderd why itshould be pos
ted up so conspicuously
! BLrrz OUTDoNE. In California, when
the diggings We're paying well, Signor
Blitz, visited gulch, and, before a
large audience, exhibited his legerde.
main. During the performance, he
took out his handkerchief, threwit into
the air, caught it again, when he took
a twenty dollar piece out of it, asking
the boys if they could do that. Old
Pete, forty MINER" who had never
changed his mining shirt, sincehe came
into the diggings, Immediately went
upon the platform, took off his shirt,
dipped the tail of it into bucket of
of water, held it up. and rung out
$50, 50 in gold dust, including Is pounds
of subsoil. Bhtz took the next mule
train.
A ooUNTRYMAN in England happened
to be travelling in railway train, ac-
companied by his wife, when collision
occurred. His wife received a severe
confusion between the eyes, for which
the jury awarded $50 damages. Some
time after the following was elected
from tie plaintiff, in a moment of I'M
guarded conviviality; "Well you see
t collision happened, t. ould woman and
| wur all feet but when got O t car
riage l saw lot fellows in terrible
state One sings out. Eth, lad, I've
gettin' my head cut open I'll ha' TWEEN
ty peownd for this Twenty peownd,'
cried another Use gettin' my should
err out, and I'll have forty for it. =
"When I heard this" continued the
clever business man, 81 jumped at t.
ould woman straight ont, and druv my
head right between her eyes, and we're
gettin fifty peownd for It.
How a Woman Persuaded Her Husband
to 90 Home.