The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-08-15


call him thief because we can prove
him to be one.-N Y Times.
"Certainly"-If small girls are
waits, are large ones waters ? Certain
ly," says sweet sixteen; "at least the
the boys have the habit Of applying
them to their lips in sealing their
vows"
An Elmira editor, speaking of the
marriage of brother quill, says; "Its
sad, however, this parting with old
friends. One by one they drop off and
double up"
Il see him on his winding way"
said Mrs. Toddles, as she saw Mr.. Tod
dles corkscrewing his way home, just
as the evening star showed its silver
eye in the armament.
"Of she gone" said lady, spreak-
ing of the train as it was starting.
"You have mistaken the gender, mad
sm," a gentleman said: "this is a mail
train"
"Did you say that l lied, sir?" 81
did" "You used the word lied ?" 81
did" "There is no doubt about that p
"None in the least" "What q pity !'
An Omaha paper advises the peo.
pie mot TO make such fuss about the
shooting of one constable, as theIe are
over forty candidates for the position.
'Rarer than the Phenix,' says De
Quincy, lis the virtuous man who
will consent to lose a good anecdote
because it is lie.'
"You want nothing, do your" said
Pat. "Bedad an if it's nothing yor
want, you'll find it in the jug where
the whiskey was!"
Why does coat get larger wher
taken not of carpet-bag? Becaus'
when you take it out you'll find it in
creases.
Whatever Midas touched turned in
to gold. In these days, touch a mai
with gold and he'll turn into anything
A writer on school discipline says
Without liberal use of the rod it il
impossible to make boys smart
"Will you have me, Sarahf said I
young man to a modes girl. No, John
but you can have me, if you will
A man who has repeatedly trieC
them say that all the short cuts to for
tune are horribly overcrowded.
Mr.. Son having died out West, tn,
other day, aged ninety, a serious wac
asks, "Who'll care for mother, now? p
"Gently the deus are Ger me steal
ing" as the man said when he had five
due bills presented to him at one time
1t is at the approach of dinner time
that we feel most sensibly the empti'
ness of things below
A Dandy on shore is disgusting to
many people, but swell of the sea
sickeus everybody.
The more cautious and careful the
sailor, the more he is likely to make a
wreckless record.
A young mans affections are not
always wrong, but they are generally
miss placed.
Many young men are so improvi-
dent they cannot keep anything but
late hours.
When a person declares that his
brain is on fire, is it etiquette to blow
it out2
The sale of Woodruff & Clafin's
Weekly has been prohibited in Ger
many.
Is there anything in the world that
can beat a good wifeY Yes, bad hus-
band,
A housekeeper says there is no veni-
son in the markets, but plenty of dear
meat
When is a small fish. pond like a
bird-cage? When there's perch in
it.
What piece Of carpentry becomes a
gem as soon as it is finishedy A gate
In England they give concerts for
the promotion Of window gardening,
The way to get a good wife is to
take a good girl and go to minister.
"Should auld acquaintance be for
gotr" Not if they have money.
In Tennessee hotel keeper is call
ed hash mill boss
Name for a druggists wife-Ann-
/ Eliza