The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-11-30
Fun.

A girl that has lost her beau may as
well hang up her fiddle.
"Mr. Snowman, can the leopard
change his spots?" "Yes, sir; when ho
gets tired Of one spot he can go to tho
other"
During the examination of witness
as to the locality of the stairs in house,
the counsel asked him, (Which way did
the stairs run2' The witness, who by
the way is noted wag, replied, "One
way they ran up, but the other way they
rln down"
The best adhesive plaster you can put
on baggage is to stick to it yourself
A person who was called into court
for the purpose of proving the correct
ness Of doctors bill, was asked by a
lawyer whether "the doctor did not
make several visits after the patient was
out Of danger" "No," replied the wit
ness, II consider the patient in danger
as long as tie doctor continues his yis-
It's"
Tom presented his bill to his neigh
Dor Joe. why, Tom, it strikes me that
you make out pretty round bill here,
ell ?" Il am sensible it is round one"
quoth Tom, sand [ have come for the
purpose of having it squared"
Laugh at no man for his pug nose
you can't tell what may turn up.
The editor who kissed his sweetheart,
saying, "Please exchange" is believed
not to have exceeded the proper liberty
Of the press.
One Of the best hits ever made at an
impropriety in lady's dress was made
by Tallyrand. During the revolution,
when asked by lady his opinion of her
dress, he replied, at began too late aud
ended too soon."
A young physician asked permission
of young lady to kiss her, she replied:
"No, sir: I never like to have doctors
bill thrust in my face"
ALondon witness having told the
magistrate he was penman, was asked
in what branch of literature he welded
his pen, and he replied that he penned
sheep in Smithfelu market
A young man who had received a
"blowing up" from his sweetheart, rotor.
ted by calling her a windlass.
The woman who undertook to scour
the woods has abandoned the job, owing
to the high price of soap. The last that
was heard Of her she was skimmiDg tho
sea.
A young gentleman who had just
married little beauty, said, "She would
have been taller, but she is made of such
precious materials that Nature couldn't
afford it. H..
An old bachelor having been laughed
at by bevy Of pretty girls, told them
that they were small potatoes. "We
may be small potatoes" replied one of
The maidens, "but we are sweet ones"
1t has been said that pantaloons OBJ
tanned on credit are breeches Of trust.
Don't carry your handkerchief in your
breast pocket. Ii you do-you take
wiper TO your bosom.
Business can never be well done, that
is not well understood; hich cannot be
without patience.
Men of great parts are often unfortu-
nate in the management of public bnsi-
ness, because they are apt to go out OF
the common road by the quickness OF
their Imagination.
Happiness is less valued when we pos
sess it than when we have lost it.
Every man esteems his own misfor-
tune the greatest. a.
If thou hast done an injury to another,
rather own it than defend it. One
way thou gainest forgiveness, the other
thou doublest the wrong and reckoning.
Newton, Kansas, has no church, but
the proprietor of whisky shop offers
his room to any minister who may be
disposed to preach therein.
Some minister ought to except the
offer, and take for his text the words of
Joshua, "Out of the belly Of hell 1 cried"
In response to an inquiry of q scien
tifc publication: Whence comes feasr
a Western journal says it does not care
a nickle, but would like to know where
in the thunder they go to when you go
for them.