Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-06-01

Miscellaneous.
-Court-plaster-Kisses
Joint Proprietors-Butchers.
"A Wooden Man-An alderman.
Vegetable Philosophy-Sage advice.
Mosquito nests ON the Mississippi are
searched for the bones of lost children.
The Washington Life avoids the faults
of both mutual and stock companies.
"A Down East woman could not attend
her fathers funeral because she was 30
busy cleaning.
The Mutual Life, of Chicago, is one
of the safest and most successful cOmpar
mics In the country.
One half of all the people who die in
Sharon, Mass, take more than eighty-6ve
years to make up their minds on the sub.
ject.
-" You seem to walk more erect than
usual, my friend" "Yes, ! have been
Strengthened by circumstances"
"A delighted nearer observed of a very
brilliant talker, that the flash Of his wit
was followed close by the peal 'of ap-
Iplause.
While settling Q woman's estate at
Worcester, Mass, the other day, an item
of six dollars was allowed her daughter
for attending her funeral.
-"Mr. Jones, what makes the canary
sleep on one legg" II don't think any
one makes him, my dear; think he does
it Of his own accord"
"a "A Pennsylvanian who paid so, G. o.
d., on fine gold watch from one of the
New York swindling firms, received q
handsome glass agate Il boys marble),
with q note saying that the mystery was
to find the keyhOle by which to wind it
up. He says he hasn't found that out
yet
The editor of the Corydon Qnd. }
Democrat has found the following among
the papers, in the clerks Office at that
place: This Is to certify that l, William
Sands, is agreed that Jim Brown shall
have mi daughter Patsey TO wife this 18th
day Of genewerry, 1911"
Two little school girls were lately
prattling together, and one of them said,
!" We keep four servants, have got six
horses and lots of carriages; now what
have you got?" With quite as much pride
the other answered, We've got skunk
under our barn."
"A lady in st. Louis has made de-
cided improvement in the ordinary breach
of promise suits. Her complaint en-
braces in its charges, not only the false
lover, but the gentleman she wanted for
father -in.law also. He had objected to
the proposed match, and thereby infiu-
enced his son to break it up.
"A capital story used to be told of the
late David Roberts. An art critic who
was his personal friend published a sharp
attack upon certain pictures Of his just
exhibited my dear Roberts" wrote the
critic in private letter, You may have
seen my remarks on your pictures.
hope they will make no difference in our
friendship. Yours, ETC., -" My
dear -" wrote the painter in reply,
the next time meet you l shall pull
your nose. hope it will make no differ
ence in our friendship. Yours, ETC., D.
Roberts"
A story is told Of q little four year-old
fellow who, having disobeyed his father,
was about to incur the penalty-a switch
ing. The father deliberately prepared
rod, while his son stood sad and silent
spectator As the parent approached to
the unpleasant duty, the boy started at a
brisk run toward neighboring hill. The
father pursued, and for time the young
ster increased the distance between them |;
but gradually his strength began to fail,
and when he reached the hill and began
to ascend he soon lost his vantage ground.
Nearer and nearer the irate father ap-
preached, and just as the top of the hill
was reached, and as he came within arms
length of the little fugitive, who was ready
to fall from exhaustion, the boy quickly
faced about, dropped upon the ground,
and with an indescribable cast of counte.
nance exclaimed: "Papa, that-makes a
Acknowledgement it?" This "chang-
ing of the subject" was so extremely lu-
dicrous that the father laughed heartily
over the strategy which his hopeful son
exhibited, and the rod was not used