Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-01
Are Legs a Mistake 4!


Are Legs Mistake!
My DEAR Mr.. BONNER If you were to |
lose leg, all your friends would make /
haste to commisserate your condition, and .
sympathise with you in misfortune. But |
are the popular impressions in respect to |
the value of the human leg founded in
scientific truth +? We perceive that many
parts of the human form once supposed to |
be valuable, are now known to be either
valueless, or of far less use than is some
ingenious substitute
The teeth, for instance, may be all
taken out, and new set put in their
place, warranted not to ache, and proof
against decay, far more easily cleansed,
and, generally, even more beautiful than
those which nature furnished Once the
human hair was greatly esteemed, but, for
years, 1t has been superseded by artificial
creations. Last year we met gentleman
who tiourished with wax nose which
answered many of the purposes Of the
former prOtuberance, and some purposes
in addition. 1t did not hurt his feelings
to have it tweaked; and he could bump
his nose with impunity against open doors
when fumbling about in the night. To be
sure, he could not take snuff with it, nor
use it for smelling. But is it not fair
question at any rate, for all that live in
cities, whether men do not encounter more
disagreeable odors than pleasing ones
SO that the loss of smell will, on striking
balance, prove a decided gain
For the eye there have been invented
such admirable substitutes that no one
would suspect that the tender glances
were but the reflections of glass orbs. A
glass eye is not subject to inflammation,
and is not disturbed by spects and cinders,
and is just as comfortable in a smoky room
as in the clear air. The only defect that
we have ever heard mentioned is the sus-
pension of the functions of vision. 1t
must be admitted that regular natural
eye sees better than glass one, but the
latter often looks better.
But to return to our leg. About year
ago, country parson in England borrow
ed leg of an American gentleman, and
found it so admirable that he grew dis
contented with anything manufactured in
England But the gentleman, on going
away took his leg with him. Our parson
had neglected to inquire the source of the
exquisite bit of machinery. In his per
plexity he wrote to me, describing the
dilemma, and asking advice as to the best
kinds OF American legs. The other day
received the following jubilant letter,
which needs no explanation
OCTOBER 7, 1871.
My DEAR SIR; cannot refrain from writ
ing you line of thanks for introducing me
to the - Limb Company.
DIR. - kindly made an abatement of ten
| pounds in the price, seeing that am only a
poor parson, and he has sent me such a leg
as never had before. It's perfect treat to
wear it, and really is enough to make one
wish to live few years longer for the pleas
ure of it. If l were a few years younger,
! should try to cross the herring pond and
show you how ! can stump about.
With many thanks to you and Mr.. - for
! the comfort enjoy,
/ | am yours ithfully, ii. Q.
/ How few there are whose leg of flesh
and blood give such joy as this Consid-
er how much annoyance one suffers in a
lifetime from a leg. AS boy, one stubs
his toes, has chilblains in winter, in sum
mer gets slivers into his feet, or cracks un-
der his toes or blisters. How many colds
come from wet feet, and how much dis
comfort in travelling, in church, or in
bed, one experiences from cold feet
An artificial leg is a sovereign remedy
for all these ills. One may kick against
the pricks with impunity. He may leave
his leg out doors all night without a chill
If The leg chooses to get wet, nobody
catches cold on that account. AS one
gets old and fat, how exceedingly incon
venient to pare his toe nails But in tho
reformed leg there are no toes; and i
there were, the leg could be unshipped
and any little tinkering done withou
STOPPING Then, too, there is no rheuma
tism in artificial legs An alderman nigh
feed full every day without the dread o
gout. We recommend H. @. to dispenst
with the remaining fleshy leg, and to Sc
cure another of the improved sort.
will then make no difference if the bee
clothes should be pulled up and leave tn
feet bare. He could take off his feet ol
retiring and put them by the fire, and b,
this reduction in length he would requir
not so long bed, Sthing not to be despiset
on sleeping cars or in ship berths, whicl
are always made for short men, but useC
for long ones
Even if one should indulge in the pas
time Of football or, in emergency, shoult
take an offending neighbor in place of
football, how plump and solid the kicl
from an artificial foot, compared with III
} milder stroke of fleshy one.
How many evils men of nimble limb
suffer from the acquisitions of others. NJ
one would be teased to dance against hi
will. A man set upon pair of artificial
would not be sent of errands. No on
! would say, "Do now, like kind fellow a
: you are, just run down to" etc.
In crowded meetings, one would no
) mind having his toes stepped on, no mat
! If the laundering fellow weighed a ton
! There would be no corns, though the boot
} were ever so tight.
+ Indeed, as / write the theme expands.
find myself wondering why legs were eve
1 born to men at all. How much better :
g possess members that defy all sensibility
/ all fatigue, all bruising, burning, wettine
s and aches and pains of every sort Do yo
not begin to feel, Mr. Bonner, that leg
e were mistake
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