The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1871-05-05
BETSEY AND L ARE OUT-A FARM
BALLAD.
BY WILL N. CARLTON


Draw up, tho. papers. lawyer. and make EN-
good and stout;
Things at home are cross-ways, and Betsey ane
are out.
We who have worked together SO long as mar
Must pull in single harness the rest of oul
nat'ral life.
What is is the h INA mattcr?" say yOu' swan! it,
Most of the years behind us, we've passed by
very we'll;
/ have no other woman-she has no other man
Only we've lived together as long as we eyel
can.
So have talked with Betsey, and Betsey has
So we've agreed together that we can't never
agree;
Not that we've catchcd each other in any ter
We've been gathcrin' this for years. a little at
There was stock of temper we both had. for a
start;
ALTHOUGH we never suspected 'twOuld take us
L had my various failings. bred in the flesh and
bone,
And Betsey. like all good women. had temper
OF her own.
First thing remember whereon we disagreed,
Was somethin' concerning Heaven-a difference
In our creeQ.
We arg g'ed the thing at brcakfast-we arg ed the
And the more we arg ed the question. the more
we didn't agree.
And the next that remember was when we
She had kicked the bucket. for ccrtain-the
question was only-How?
And when we were done talkin', we both of us
was mad,
And the next that remember. it started in a
Joke;
But full for week it lasted, and neither of us
spoke.
broke bowl; :.
any soul.
And so the bowl kept pcurin' dissensions in our
And so that blamed COW critter was always a
comm up;
And so that Heaven we arg'ed nc nearer to Us
got,
But it gave us a taste of somethin' a thousand
times rs hot.
And so the thing kept workin', and all the self
same way;
Always somethin' to arg'c. and somcthin' sharp
TO say.
And down on us come The neighbors, couple
dozen strong,
And lent their klndcSt sarvice for to help the
thing along.
And there has been days together-and many a
weary week
We was both of us cross and spunky. and both
too proud to speak.
And / have been thinkin' and thinkin', the
whole of the winter and fall,
If l can't live kind with woman, way. then i
won at all.
And so have talked with Bctscy, and Bctscy
has talked with me;
And we have agreed together, that we cant
never agree:
And what is hers shall be hers. and what is
mine shall be mine,
And | IL put it in the agreement, and take il to
her to sign.
Write on the paper, lawycr-the very first para
OF ali the farm and live stock. that she shall
have her half.
And it's nothin' more than justice tn It Bctsey
has her pay.
Give her the house and homestead; man can
thrive and roam,
But women arc skeery critters. unless they have
And / have always determined. and never
That Betsey never should want home. if was
taken away.
There. i, a littlc hard money. that's drawn
Couple of hundred dollars, laid by for a rainy
day,
Safe in the hands of good men, and easy to get
Put in another clause there. and give her halt
of that.
Yes, see you smile, sir at my sivin' her SO
Yes, divorces is cheap, sir. but l take no stock
in such.
True and fair l married her. when she was
bllthe and young,
And Betsey was al'ays good to me exccptin'
with her tongue.
Once. when 1 was young as you, and not 50
For me she mittcned lawyer. and several
other chaps;
And all of 'cm was flustered. and fairly taken
And for a time was counted the luckiest man
in town.
Once, when had fevcr-I won't forget il
I was hot as basted turkey, and crazy as a
Never an hour went by me. when she was out OF
sight;
She nuised me true and tender. and stuck to me
day and nigat.
And if ever house was tidy, and ever \ kitch-
en- Clcdns
Her house and kitchon was tidy as any / ever
seen.
And don't complain of Betsey. or any of heI
acts,
Exceptin' when we've quarrelcd and told each
other fIctS.
So draw up tho paper, lawyer, and I'll go homt
tonight,
And read the agreement to her. and see if 1t:
all right;
And then in the mornin' I'll sell to a aradin
man know,
And kiss the chilli that was left to Us, and ou
in the world I'll go.
And one thing put in the paper, that first to- me
didn't occur:
That when | am dead at last, she shall br 1ns
me back to her,
And lay me under the naples l planted ye fr'
ago,
When she and was happy, before We qua T
rsled so.
And when she dies, wish that she would b.
laid by me;
And lynn together in silence. perhaps we will
agree. .
And if ever we meet in Heaven, wouldn't
think it queer
If We loved each other better because We have
uuarrclcd her.