The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-10-05
5notrsol1 yntelligerrter,
A Racy Chapter on Disagreeable Habits.

exclsims Certainly" when the matter in hand
is surrounded by the greatest possible amount
of uncertainty. You open conversation with
him as follows:
.cMy dear sir, do you remember"
Certainly"
aWhen-"
"eI understand"
tfYou@"
stExactly exactly, sir,n'f y..to..j
and. still the man hasn't the remotestidea what
yeu are driving at, or to what particular car
cnmstance you desire to. draw his attention..
Sometimes he assumes very knowing look,
tkak:carries fraud on the face Of it, and then,
acain. while exclaiming 81 understand" In the
most confident and possible manner, his coun-
tenance is as expressiolless as mad ball, or
i've with bewildering inquiry.
Every reader Of this article knows man
who says "Eggs-actly" to almost every propo.
sitiou, with particular emphasis on the eggs.
Bike as. not good many of the said readers
aEescommitted to the same habit, If they only
knew It. >,
IIonce met lady in Western town, who
i,rofessed to lead the ton, who says Certainly.
Sha Is nervously particular about her pronunci-
alton, and it would mortify her almost to death
iHshe should be caught saying "Cernly," as
vulgar and uneducated people do.
Then there is the man who, in relating
circumstance or making proposition, punches
YOU in the ribs or thumps you on the breast,
with the remark, "Don't you understand p
Ee doesn't mean anything by it. Like as not
yetl have said Certainly" and "Eggs.actly, "
aJes So" so many times yourself during the
recital any fool might know you understood all
about it. Yet he keeps US his humping as
though he would drive the matter into you by
sheer force, and exclaims, 'eDorst you under
stand?" with tone that might imply ne con-
sidered you an idiot if you didn't. +.
Very few people can tell story without
throwing in ayou know" occasionally. Many
employ the term two or three times in every
sentence. It is very disagreeable, you know,
TO be compelled you know, to hear man
telling q story, you know, that consists of more
of you knows, you know, than anything else,
you know Well, you know how it is yourself
What makes barber always inquire, "Does
the razor hurt your" He knows very we'll
whether it does or not He is a better Judge
of sharp razor than you are, anyhow. And
who ever heard man reply that the razor did
hurt him Don't you always say, "Oh, no
that's all right" You are momentarily fiat
tered by the tone of kind solicitude with
which the barber asks the question, and pleas
edwith the consideration he shows for your
feelings, and you wouldn't tell him his razor
sdull if it was nearly pulling your beard out
BY the roots. e.
). I have myself assured barber his razor was
all right, with tears of anguish washing away
the ;lather on nv cheek Icouldn't bear to hurt
the feelings of barber who could inquire in
sdch tender, anxious torres, "Does de razor hurt
you, sab ?"
I am satisfied the barber who started the
thing did it to cover up the atrocities of dull
razor Other BARRIERS copied it, for they are
an initiative race, and the custom has become
general, as all customers know.
fIonce saw surly old fellow hand barber
an extra half dollar, after undergoing tonso-
nal operation, with the remark, "There, I'll
make you present of that. You are the first
barber who ever shaved me without asking il
the razor hurt"
The first thing young man learns when : ne e
begins to "clerk it" in store is to inquire,
ssYsnything else? ?" and it is generally the last
thing he forgets. There is story of a defunct
dry goods clerk who, after the funeral services
were over, and the undertaken had put the last
screw into the lid of his coffin, preparatory to
interment, was heard to say, in faint and
unufied tones, "Anything else?" A most re-
ifarkable illustration of ruling passion strong
in DEATH '-,e
It is q little thing to be annoyed by, to be
sure; but always make precipitate flight
from store after making purchase, in order
to avoid that inevitable Anything else ?''
Somehow there is an implied imputation in it
that you are not really sure what you came
there for, and that you don't know when your
business is concluded. The man looks at
you with an expression which seems to say,
AAre you sure you have got all you wanted ?
Think now; haven't you forgotten something
yon came purposelY for ?n
.atisnt Aattering to ones common sense, and
we have sometimes wondered if it it ever Sc
cured any additional sales But all trades and
professions have their set phrases and stereo-
typed expressions, suppose, and the salesman
b Adoubtless entitled to his. ~