The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-12-27

be conquered by Kindness, and tt
teacher was made to feel the bitterne
of his resentment long after, us W
shall find. But Bill Means NaA f;
the time entirely placated, and he All
RALPH went to spelling school t.
gether. --
Everyffamily furnished candle
There were yellow dips and whit
dips, burning, smoking, and iarine
There were laughing, talking, an
giggliug, and simpering, and ogline
and flirting, and courting. What
dress party is to Fifth avenue, a spell
ing school is to Hoopole County. !
is an occasion which is metaphoricall
inscribed with this legend, 'Choos
your parthe' Spelling is only
blind in Hoopole County, rs is dane
ing on Fifth Avenue. But as ther,
are some in society who love to dane
for its own sake, so in Flat Creel
distritt there were those who loved t.
spell for its own sake, and who, smell
ing the battle from afar, had come tc
try their. hands in this tournament
hoping to freshen the laurels they hac
won in their school days. ..s ....
L 'low,' said Mr.. Means, speaking
as the principal school trustee, ! low
our friend the Squire is jest the mar
to boss this ere consarn Tonight. E
nobody objects, Pll appint him
Come Squire, don't be bashful. Walk
up to the trough; fodder or no fod
der, as the man said 20 his donkey
There was general giggle at this,
and many of the young swains took
occasion to nudge the girls alongside
ti'ent; ostensibly for the purpose OF
making them see the joke, but really
for the pure pleasure Of nudging.-
The Greeks figured Cupid as naked,
probably because he wears so MANY
disguises that they could not select a
costume for him.
The Squire came to the 'front.'
Ralph made an inventory of the ag
glomeration which bore the name of
Squire Hawkins, as follows:
l. A swallow tail coat of indefnate
age, worn oily on state occasions when
its owner was Called to figure in his
public capacity. Eitherahe Squire
had grown too large or the coat too
small.
2. A pair Of black gloves, the most
phenomenal abnormal, and unexpect-
ed appafition conceivable IN Flat
Creek district, where the preachers
wose no coats In the SUMMER and.
where black glove was never seen
except on the hands of the Squire.
B.. A wig of that dirty, waxy color
SO common to wigs. This one showed
a continual inclination to slip of the
owners smooth, bald pate, and the
Squire had frequently to adjust it. A.
his hair had been red, the wig did not
a cord With his face, aud the hair tiii-
grayed was sadly discordant with
face shriveled by age. -
4. A semicircular row of whiskers
hedging the edge of the jaw and chin.
These were deyed a ffightful dead
black; such as no natural hair or beard
ever had. At the dots there was a
quarter of ali inch Of white, giving
the whiskers the appearan ce of being
stuck on.
5. A pair of spectac!es, with tor
toise shell rim,' inclined to slip off.
g.. A glass eve, purchased of a
peddler, and differing in color from
its natural mate, perpetually inclined
to get out of focus by turning in or
)ut.-
:. A set of false teeth, badly fitted,
md given to bobbing up and down.
8. The Squire proper, to whom
these were loosely attached.
1t is an old story that boy wrote |
,ome to, his father begging him to
ionic West, because mighty mean
nen got in office cut here But
Ralph concluded that some Yankees
iad tau ght school in Hoopole County
Who would not have held a high place
n the educational institutions of Mas
achusetts Hawkins had sonic New
sngland idioms, but they were well
'verlaid by Western pronunciation.
Ladies and gentlemen he began,
hosing up, his spectacles, and sucking
lis liIis over his W hite teeth to keep
hem in place. ladies and gentlemen,
'oHng men aud maidens, rarely I'm
bleeged to Mr.. Means fer this honor
nd the Squire took both hands and
nrned the top of his head round sew.
raj INCHES. Then he adjusted his
pectacles. Whether re was obliged
D Mr.. Means for the honor of being
to a donkey, was not clear,
feel ig the inmost compartments of {
~ animal spirits most happifying
snce of the success and futility of all
iy elideavdrs- to safte the people of {
lat Crick deeslrick, and the people I
+ Tomkins township, in my weak
ay and manner This burst of elo- s
nence was delivered with a con- {
rained and an apparent sense of a
niger that he, Squire Hawkins, s
ight fall to pieces il his weak way /
I'd manner, and of, the success and q
tility especially the. latterlr Of all I
tempts at recon straction. ,F5r by I
is time the-ghastly pupil of the left s
e, which was black, was looking a
say round te the left; while the little g
ne one on the right twinkled cheer il
lily toward the front The front C
eth would drop down so that the p
Iuire's month was kept,nearly closed, a
d his words whistled through. y,tr. lr
y feel as ,ifgI + could be ,gran.lilo- Il
ent on this interesting OCCASION Il
isting his scalp round but raley I e'
lst forego any such exertions. :. 1t q
spelling you want. Spelling is the 81
'ner stcne; the grand, underlying st
bterluge of q good eddication. I ii
t the speilin' book prepared By the, W
eat Dsniel Webster alongside the bi
ble. do, raley / think may put 81
ahead Of the Bible. For if it al
lrtt fer speIlin' books and sich oc-
'iotis as these. where would the Bi- V