The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1871-11-04
fHR MAN KHO COOKS.
How the Call1oFnIa " Ferry " 1ners -
Beeomes Periodically AReetea wIth
she kitchen Munia.

bmo AAACW0m WamAMm
Prentice Milford says toat every old Cali,
forniau, havirg in "r49" baked hls own
oEe4NRpd boiled hts own ans, deems him
woo family cook. He maintalns even
gfe9tcf eoncsit tnan this L9 deems him
sex cock superior to any woman in the
world, when ne chooses 10 concentrate mis-
mind on culinary a1sirs.
Oo sncn man, Wnen Dc married, there
breaks out once or twice a year culinary
mAnA lie mnss cook; he will COOS. he
watches the opportunity when bis wife has
prolonged her ai.erDo0u glsit a little longer
than usual. He invades the kitchen. He
kIdles nre IL me stove. Before kindiing
that hre be leaves open eveEF door
10 the hoas esm6romeeellar 70 rHrFA He
tnrnS the camper wron& Tne stove smSkes
me wrong wAE. He drawn water in tae
!: sss.. s. - ssfsss " eR s sss ks.s!s Jssse
-, -, aora ~ Tar's.., V1s tzey are
srd other vegetable parings 10 the ciesrest
pail he can fnd Wherever be walks and
whatever he touches he leaves mus"
he leaves knives. forks and spoons all over
tue house; a so dish-rags: be puts one Of
these in bis Do, ket. he ceases TO be q
rational or accountable being. An old male
CAilfornla cook, married and in his wite's
kiehen, Is not welIspring Of pleasure. He
orings all the frying pans he can find into
use Hesets their sooty bottoms on the clean
pine table. De contemplatts ma yiIg tea
ne renects as to the quantity he used II tie
mines Tor making" He cannot TecOilect
exactly. be Grams several istfulls into the
teapot. He will have enough, anyway. No
ore who drinks thereof sleeIs that
/ night. Nervous. He essays to make
biscuit. tie wonLers how much saleratus
tney used in tie mines 10 get a good rise on.
he uses enough lie kneacs hls dough, and,
wandering vicantly about the honse leaves
traces o. -four at every step It is In the par.
| lor, on the door knots, on the baulsters. he
can COOK. he says be can coOS better than
any woman in the world IL be was ouly
mlld to give bis mind to it," This eoncait
IS revsr TO be taken out Of him. Ii is pe-
| cullar 10 all old Caliiornisns--for he made
bread il It's mines. L was good bread too
good 70 Kill They say that two ''parduers''
| VINO 'cabined" with him dIed Of heavy bread
Indigestion. he was given "a hours to leave
that camp
Nov we see him rayishng his wife's kitch-
en-. de has burned up all the choice news
papers lying ABOUT, which the fO.ks wanted to
read. he Is using table bu ter to cock with,
and sets the cooking butter on the
table. Things tai in.o tn1t dlukh-
buttons, matches anj bits Of Goals.
Ln the midst OF all this culinary OF, chaos,
smoke, grease, SCOT, rags, and flour, the wife
comes home. Sac opens the hall door, and is
oppressed ny the cloud OF I'm ke. She knows
tneI that the culinary e. Il on her husband.
Sue steps into the kitchen. The e he Sands,
red, heated. hus,ered, cIught in the act, with
a pig spoon In one hand, tormentor in the
oiher, spot OF black on his nose Tue fry
lns-pan 10 full Of boz, smoking lard. Il
s.Zzies and sputters al over hin ss be stands
there With bis back to the sto, e, and all over
everything for many feet around There
comts from the oven door q suspicious smell
o smoke bis biscuit are burning. All sort 8
| OF things ID pots are boiling over. She rushes
| y his assistance. BOtn burn their fingers
tie has misaid hat the stove~eovers and
cannot md them. Oas Is discovered q fort
| ulght afterward up siaifs, under the bed
How did il get there He says he didn't
know he was carrying il up at the time.
Aosent-minded- DE was looking for a clean
| tOweL
His wife, il despair, goes TO her room and
er'es, and thinks Of her happy grluood days.
sac does not come down TO supper. No one
eats much that evening. he has the whole
table TO himself He hasn't much appetite,
either He gets I'D every halt minute for
some forgotten aTtcle-for the salt, for the
bread, for cup, tor q saucer. When be has
entirely finished, be fuds the pota ioes for
| gotten; they are still on the stove boiling
boiling piecemesl. boiling furiOusly-llke the
driving OF Jehu, the son OF Nimsai, who drove
rspi.ly.
Next day bis wife comes down stairs and
hires woman to clean up. Things get set
/ lieu IN dOOut u Nctk. II Is his Only tault. He
STICKS to 1t that be can COOK better than any
woman in the world il be chooses ''t0 give his
mind to it." She says the mania never broke
out 10 him until they had been two years
married. Twice q year it RACES and the
! kitchen smokes. All California husbands
have touch OF this disease. II was con.
tracted in the mines in the flush days OF 40
| A hEMoRABLR ! kAR-The wear 1871 must
certainly hereafter in the history OF the world
take precedence OF 1865 as the dRRus mirabtlus
OF the ages. Without other aid than the
memory, we recall within the past twelve
months come of the most terrible series Of
bloody battles that have occurred since his
tory has given rs accurate data, and almost
innumerable disasters Of the most sIupendous
descr ption, by land aud sea. Persia has been
tevastated by famine. eliminating In the
cholera, which has gradually been orking
| westward. all summer until ConstAntinople Is
st this cate reached. Numerous islands in
the Pacific OCEAN have been submerged and
others thrown above the eur ace OF the waters
by tidal waves. The earthquake and the
hurricane bave done their full sRare OF 1esola =
ton. Boiler explosions and railway disasters
have been more numerous and to & larger
degree fatal than ever before. At the present
time the universal atmosphere is pregnant
with heavy smoke arising from the most
Widespread com bustion ever known IN history.
Chicago Journal
A r. g..uW