The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-10-07
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
The Democratic Pharos, of Indiana, will
please take notice that are neither COL Arm
strong, nor never were president.
Ague prevails to a considerable extent at L9-
gansport, Indiana The PaarOs alludes to the
subject in these brief words
A colt came to town last week and took the
sgue. Who's next?
An exchange mentions that "Catchem" Is the
appropriate name Of certain Chicago police
man.
Guess not. Who ever heard Of Chicago po-
licemen ev catching anybody or anything. ex-
cept, perhaps, the measels I?
Another paper mentions in respectful terms,
An ''Illinois hog that weighs 1865 lbs"
This, though in republican paper, evidently
comes under his
A California. editor ha, ng bought mule, a
cotempersry speaks of it remarkable self pos
session.
A contemporary thinks that the best Way to
improve the lot of woman is to put house on it
and good man in the house.
Correct, if we are the referred to.
Miss Nellie Haruett is a law student in the
Office of S. w. Moulton, of Shelbyville, Ill.,
Erchnnge.
Probably that's the reason. Moulton did not
run well for Ongress.-State Register.
Msybe he was caught in that nett and couldn't
run.
A blushing damsel in Phiadelphia had man
md do, hofn tha to
the charge of assault and battery on the dogs
part. When asked what the dog did, she SAID
he bit her. When asked where, after con-
slider BILE hesitation and blushng, she replied on
the cleft drumstck. "-EG.
She might have used more refined express
sion, such as: That Canine inserted his incsors
yehemently into my sill lister appendage, which
alternately, with my right elevator, supports
my form when walking" or words vaguely hint
ing towards the same subject.
We copy the following, and most cheerfuly
endorse it, because we find it in Kentucky
paper:
A Louisville parent who didn't spare the rod
nearly spoiled the child by throwing him out of
the window afterwards.
1t is very seldom that we eat Strawberries, for
the reason that We can't get them. An exchange
speaks of "eleven strawberries to the pound" in
certain locality. Another editor, in California.
not to be outdone, rejoices ia the fact that they
have this luscious frHt on liable Mountain"
where truthful James" lives, and that the
fruit frequently exceeds in size the ergest
pumpkin, and out of the smallest of which eleven
men can make An ample meal
Here is plain truth in few words:
No people under heaven can excel the Ameri-
cans IN the manly art of sitting on a bench and
seeing eighteen play ball.
A witty chap of the temperance persuasion
thus. in a rather bitter way, speaks Of beer
The prohibltionists of Boston are much pleased
that small boy has been injured by the burst.
ing OF key OF lager beer in that city. The &C.
currence enables them to point to the physical
ss well as the moral evils produced by this pre-.
tended innoCuous beverage.
An Alabama exchange contributes the follow.
ing and swears to it:
A pious negro woman was once caught by
her master stealing goose, and the next SUI.
day ohe partook of the communion, after which
her master acoosted her as follows:
"Why, Hanna, I saw you to-day at the com.
nunion table,"
Eyes, tank de Lord, massa, l was lowed to b.
dsre wild de rest oh his family"
"But, Hanna, I was surprised to see you
there" he said. "How is it about the goose :"
She looked little surprised, as if she did net
understand the question, but catching the mean.
e Ing, exclaimed:
Why, sar, do you tiak Use s-going to let an
old goose stand atween me aud my mskerp"
We can appreciate the feelings OF the gentle.
man alluded ~ in the following item, because
we've been there aud know bow it 10 ourself:
An Oshkosh preacher sat down on hornets
nest which some boys had seoreted under the
pulpit cushion. He got up again.
This 10 eygscsllently we'll told: .,.
Al Osweyo resident found something offen..
i've ia his last dozen Of eggs and took the dealer
to task. "What is the matter with them p'
asked that individual. "They amt good" was
the reply. well that amt to be wondered At,
was the spologetic rejoined; "hens are 80 drove
aow they amt expected to be ~ particular AZ
usual !"