The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-12-29


have seen him, when he thought | was
not looking, chuck Martha under the
chin. And, for both our sakes, she
bore it like an angel. But when |
talked of it TO her, she requested me to
tell him how it Disguised her; which |
did, and begged of him to consider a
lady's feelings; which he promised me
he would.
Everything was going on thus hap
PLY, and he was growing to like us
more and more, when his regiment was
ordered to the West Indies, and in little
more than year and half, poor fell
| low, he died of yellow fever.
The consols did not turn up. | sup
pose he was extravaganza. He must
have sold his stock.
We had acted for the best, however,
and did not regret it much, although
he had been very heavy item in the
expenses of our little household for up
wards of year. He liked ducks and
peas, and asparagus and oysters, and
drank ridiculous quantity of port.
However, let us bear lightly on his
weaknesses. If he took no care of his
money, let us hope that he did at least
of his spiritual interest.
| expressed to dear Martha's mother,
when next saw her in town, my sur
prise at the total disappearance of poor
| Thunder's twenty thousand pounds
stock. and she looked at me for some
seconds, as if | had two heads, and
! then, being one of those fat women who
see something ludicrous in everything,
she shook and whee2ed with laughter,
until good stiff fit of coughing pulled
her up.
Then drying her eyes, she croalled
with a most unleminine grin, still pant
ing:
who on earth, my dear jerry" Il
forgot to tell you that my name is Jere-
miah Barnacle) told you that poor
Frisk had twenty thousand pounds?
He never had twenty thousand pence
And this was the secret Of your hams
and oysters, and port wine, and board
ing poor penniless Frisk whenever he
had q months leave" and the cynical
old creature laughed again, till the
chair crealled and the floor trembled.
| was Disguised, and could not help
saying:
Madam, it was from your daughter,
who conceals nothing from me, that |
learned that fact; who she may have
! learned it from neither know nor care.
But she it was who advised our little
Inequalities to poor Frisk. | called him
! Frisk my wife never called him any
thing but Captain Thunder 1t was her
advice, and | followed it ; and | mention
the fact because, however ridiculous you
| 10 Il 70 MI
hardly laugh at your own daughter.
You may treat the Disappointment, if
you please, rs mine only, but you must
feel that the ducks, and oysters, and
hams, and other things you are so good
as TO remember with so much particu.
larity, though proceeding from me in
| the first instance, were nevertheless
some little loss also to Martha loss
which | might not unnaturally have ex-
pected him, in some tri1ing way, to
have made good to her"
The rebuke which | delivered sternly,
had some little effect upon her for a
moment, for she "hemmed," and bri-
died up, and looked little queerly
along the carpet; but the old wretch Il
regret to have to apply such term to
my Marthas mother, but such want
of sympathy in SO near relative is pos
lively cd ous), burst out again into an
other peal Of the same heartless and
stupid laughter though she was palpa.
bly, little ashamed OF it; and in that
unlady.like condition | left her.
Martha was accuracy itself, and could
not have been misintormed. Still it
seemed to vex her, as it certainly did
me, that her mother should think her
such an egregious fool.
! must now relate a painful occur
renee, mysterious state Of things, a
discovery, and an affiiction, which re-
member still with CONSERVATION.
My wife was attacked with an extra
ordinary sort Of fit. How long she had
been suffering from that kind of seizure
| | could not tell. | will relate how |
! first discovered heI alarming infirmity.
Dear Martha had retired to rest per
! fectly well, at ten o'clock. | had some
! letters to write, which detained me for
some hours later in the drawing-room.
While writing them l had occasion
! twice TO consult accounts, which were
filed in little press in our bedroom.
Ny first visit was at about quarter to
! cleVeU. lOuHu Her III Del, Oul Wluc
awake, and apparently perfectly well,
except that her face was unusually
flushed and her eyes unnaturally bril-
liant. She said she felt very nervous,
and complained of my stealing about
the house, disturbing her. | entreated
her to compose herself to sleep. She
answered that if | were good enough
either to stay in the room or to stay out
of it, it would compose her more than
anything she could do.
She had such pointed way of put
ting things.
| was obliged to 90 up second time
on similar Grand, about an hour later.
put off my shoes lest should disturb
her, and | listened at the door. She
was breathing stentoriously, or in less
technical language, snoring.
Dear Martha never admitted that she
snored. 1t made her very angry that |
should insinuate or believe any such
thing. And yet undoubtedly she did,
and so loud and long, as not unfre-
quently to keep me awake for hours.
On this occ lsion the sounds were well
| - 4 A.