The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-04-13
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.

The real shooting season-spring.
An imaginary quatity-a lady S age.
A two foot rule-don't stumble.
To protect the chest-put lock on it
What is the sun by trade? A tanner.
Girls of period-female compositors.
A leading article-the blind man S
dog.
Long and successful reign-the del
uge.
1t is more easy to praise poverty than
to bear it.
A good thing to bring the hair out
"a tomahawk.
Persons who put head on i" PHO
tographers.
How to make time go fast-take off
the clock pendulum.
Some fat men do not seek greatness;
it is thrust upon them.
What have you to expect at hotel ?
Inn attention.
He that makes himself an ass must
not take it i'll if others ride him.
He that knows not when to be silent,
knows not when to speak.
Railroads have no affections, yet they
ought all to have strong ties.
He who will not help friend in need,
is one who never had friend.
An old bachelors idea-when taken to
be well shaken-the baby.
Babies are coupons attached to mat
rimony-the interest is due at random.
A genius sometimes makes a mis-
| take, but thousand mistakes can never
| make genius.
What kind of pine is the most difficult
to saw into timber? The porcupine.
A young lady of Terre Haute is about
to write a book on "what I know about
courting"
The difficulty of death is, that it
breaks up an old habit of living, and
habits are hard to get over.
An English paper, speaking of a very
tall actor, says: 'Ry Jove, he's tall
ClOuSu W dCI Ill GWO parts.
There will be ffy-three Sundays in
this year. This is good thing for prin-
ters, but rather hard on preachers.
What is the most profitable OF all
manufactures? The shoe, for every pair
is soled before it is finished.
The next best thing to paying pastor
large salary, is to pay him his small
one promptly.
Gail Hamilton thinks the trouble with
the woman's Fighters is. that they want
to live like women and be paid like men.
An advertisement of cod liver oil
winds up: sPatients who have once
taken it can take no other" A candid
confession.
But one false step, one wrong habit,
one corrupt companion, may wreck all
your prospects and all the hopes Of those
who loye you.
Why does Miss Anthony keep lectur-
ing on 'The Question settled? If the
question is settled, why stir it up all the
time
Louisville has received in one day 255
barrels of -four and 800 of whiskev. It is
wondered what they will do with so much
-four
Wyoming folks hold neck tie sociables
when they catch horse thief. But his
neck won't tie when they get done with
him.
A young lady boasting of her teeth,
was asked if they were natural or artif-
cial. Neither was the reply; ''they
are gutta percha."
A fond father in Vermont offers his
farm to any man who will marry his
daughter. He probrbly has very poor
farm or very ug ly daughter.
ct is wrong to cheat lawyer ?" was
recently very ably discussed by debat-
ing society. The conclusion arrived at
was that it was not wrong but impossi
BILE.
Eve was the only woman who never
threatened to go and live with mamma.
And Adam was the only man who never
tantalized his wife about ''the way moth
er used to cock
This is the way a Colorado lover ex-
pressed admiration for his fair: ''She's
peeler, she is. She killed a bear
when she was fifteen, and a Digger
Indian when she was eighteen and
now she'll whip her weight in wild
CATS
At Mobile shell exploded, and a
piece struck one of the colored fellow
citizens on the head. He flew around
like girl with a grasshopper up her
trousers leg, and finally enquired who
had been pulling his hair. The head
was uninjured, but the shell was busted
all to pices.
\ good many lawyers believe that it
would be just as well for the community
If the civil action Of SANDER were abol-
ished. The fact is that almost uniyers
ally this class Of suits is brought by part
les whose reputation is not helped very
much by verdict When a man of we'll
known character is assailed, by letting
SANDER alone it dies of itself.
COULDN'T Fool HER.-Some la
dies and gentlemen were taking a
walk near cemetery, when a ghost
appeared. They all ran, with the
exception of one pretty widow, who
stood her ground till the s'ghost''
got to her.-She then wont for 4bo