davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Facts and Fancles.

The church for aflianced ones-St, All
Banns.
The most unpopular of all watch
words-Tick.
A shilling dentist must be man OF
low extraction.
A handy tune =" Fortune" 1t is not
common metre.
The biggest "guns" are often the
greatest bores.
Staee-drivers look upon rainy day
as peculiarly fare-weather.
Chew your meat, eschew greasy gra-
yies. Don't chew your tobacco.
Tn Truro, Mass, there are 105 widows
whose husbands were lost at sea.
The man who became liquor ceiier
goes long way toward basement.
Some teetotalers would even prefer
watery grave to preservation IN spirits
On an English railroad, certain train
is run 1874 miles in four hours and quar-
ter.
A new purfume has been invented,
called "The Breath of Charming Wo-
man"
In Michigan there are 172 Congrega-
tional churches, with membership oil
1884.
Tn time the mulberry tree becomes
a silk Qown-and silk gown becomes
woman.
A child at Albany swallowed a ring,
and the p other became so frightened
that she died in few minutes.
Last wear the Baptist Board OF Mis-
sions received 1908, 900 into its treasury.
This year they propose to raise at least
S230,0O0.
! The Young lady who was caught smok-
! ;ng Inv her mother, excused herself by
/ saying it made her smell asthough there
was man about.
Good housekeepers are putting up all
8 the fruit they can, and little boys and
girls are willing to try and put down as
: much fruit as their mothers.
A gentleman said to an old lady who
! had brought up family OF children
near the river, "I should think you
would live in constant fear that some of
J them would get drowned" 80, no,
q responded the old lady, 1--WE only iost
three or four in that way"
The Burlington Free Press ascertains
that there is much alarm in this City
I concerning the cholera; 1t is misin'
formed. We amt afraid of cholera.
We are only afraid that the officers Of o,
the Staten Island Ferry Company will
never be punished. N Y. Pdper.
e A farmer cured baiky horse in the
j. town of Eden, Fond du Lac county
Wisconsin. He hitched q pair of cattle
!. to log-chain around the horses neck
. and prevailed on 'em to lean few ton
y weight on the yoke. The horse didn'
start, but his head came out by the roots
. The hide, set of shoes, and lunch iol
II the crows are all that is left OF the indo
cile staed
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
How a Nan Eloped with His Own wife.


Late in July last the good people in
the town Of Lyon. Oakland County,
Mich, were much excited by an apph-
cation for divorce on the part Of the
wife Of Samuel b. Dolph, a Detroit
droyer, on the ground Of adultery. The
wife was the daughter Of wealthy far
mer Of their county. Dolph, who had
been enioined from removing anything
from a farm that was the property OF
his wife, attempted TO take possession Of
the place, elected the family living upon
it, and was arrested for riot. In the
meantime the family he had elected re-
instated themselves. and when he rc-
turned he found them well guarded by
armed men. Dolph was then arrested
and gave bail. Subsequently Dolph
and his father visited the farm and
found people cutting the crops, and for
interfering with them he and his father
were arrested for assault and battery.
Other suits were brought by the vile,
and elder and younger Dolph, and by
various parties, and legal gentlemen
were retained ON one side or the other
to take part in the controversies. The
suit at law embraced injunctions, repley-
ins, trespass, and pretty much every
thing else known TO the civil and crimi'
nal calendar, and the litigations bi faiI
TO extend through several months, and
perhaps years. Dolph is well known,
and has many influential and wealthy
friends, and the same may be said OF hi'
wife and these friends, it appears, were
strenuous in their efforts TO keep then
separated. Mrs. Dolph remained
secluded at the residence of some OF hel
friends, and a policeman was employee
to watch Dolph, fears being entertained
that he might attempt TO abduct her
Thus matters passed along for severa
weeks, and few days since an arrange
ment was effected by which Mrs. Dolpl
was 70 pay her husband So, 900, and al
the suits, except that for the divorce
, were to be discontinued. The paper
were drawn up and signed, and th
! parties separated, Mrs. Dolph avowin
r il as her determination never to hv
with him again. Dolph, however, II
: sisted that he loved his wife, and
e friend volunteered to effect q reconcilif
UOn DetWttu Iueul. ~ IN hoe hoNoop'o
e to state in detail all that occurred, bu
: to make long story short, we ma
a simply announce that the plan worke
e like q charm. Mrs. Dolph consented
elope with her husband, and Dolph I
r elope with his wife. She returned
: the place where she was stopping, pacl
3 ed her trunks, to be ready to move at
o given time, and Dolph prepared himse
# for journey too. The friend refere
to took a carriage and obtained Mr.
/ Dolph, subsequently drove after Dolpl
/. The carriage was driven rapidly
Y Hamtramck, where it remained uni
= evening, and from thence the reconcil'
y couple took passage on a train that ca
ried them many miles away. Telegram
E, have been sent in every direction, b
u no traces have been discovered OF M
'e and Mrs. Dolph. They are out OF rea.
10 of Detroit and Pontiac lawyers, WI
have pocketed fees to the amount
about $4,000, and they have sworn
forget and forgive, and hereafter Ii
happily.
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Wbai the Baby Is Thinking About.

.v,..,,. Al. t,sly thinking aboutf-
- .--.Iv. uf topics there seldom IL deAfth.
- ~, half animate Jelly with doubt,
~ DISGUST, ur with rage, from the hour Of
..,Tt, yi.,' With srticulAie voioc, il expresses.
u7.is ehasug With impoteut zeal. 10 explain
- wuadle iaa e by our fatuiious gueeses,
h. thoughts doubtless run IN the following
vgin
s,r, eotass that great stupid who thinks he
uust toss me,
,-shoIloW bis patcmal twaddle az ms;
44l-.i,r, bei,vc il delights him 10 cross mel
nv cspt ths great nincom for once let me be :
Tai iso. In his paws, till my blood ehills with
81 AVN again. shuddering, swiftly sweepl
Nj H. n,rsr have donei Yah! Put me
yr7l s, sosn hear yell that will make your fiesh
creep.
DEhyl Don't pOPPy's deary want more ridy-
MI %,"Y, Thcman thinks am India rubber
Tvv.l7psd in oak-tanRed rhinoceros hide,
i-stssd of A sensitive atom OF blubber
y.,.hl Now, with his nose, he is going 10
y,-O-ohi How I'm rasped with his whisker's
Vbv don't the great bear put his nose in a
muZzlel He
phsw He-Ya-e-el-has been smoking eigArsl
yes "Tum to it's muzzerl" know what shell
do with me;
Though never intending trick that is scurvy
She'll squeeze me, and kiss, and before she u
through with me
Ab,lfIozen times I'll be turned topsy-turyy
just what expected Now down goes m,
hgadl
How long must lie with heels kicking the air
NJ eyeballs are bursting I'm more than hal
deadi
I'm black in the face, from the rush OF bloc,
therel
There now, sitty up| should think 1t hisl
Ofooursol Now I've got to be churued on he
kneel
She ncrer will learn not TO stir up the chyme
I'm sick Ifyou don't stop III puke2 Yo'
why It's sick in its poor little tummic !
You betP
Twas the jouncing. Now what is that horribl
stuff2
Pareqorici by all that is nasty You bet
loOat take i'll Goo-google = no,o! Now that
roughl
Goodness, graciousl What nowl There's
pin my back prckng
"The colicp No Hang IL It's clear throug
the skinl
Doaf-ee XII" You would "Ki," with pi
in you sticking
Dickens take Mrs. Winslow That won't pu
apinl
La7salerni Why don't they find itr tt
nlnnies- .
They think live pincushion likes TO be nurse'
Ye-e-e! You're squeezing my back now, jui
where that pin is |
80. They've found it at last, where the
should have looked first
| hate pantomime, but can't get word IN !;
| wonder now why / 80 helpless was made,
That six months of life ia already burden
Well, "let us have peace" for I'm just abo
played, ....
BY the way, that reminds me-'tls my dim
time;
OF course twill be only the usual trash
But I'm hungry, SO here goes, in pantomime
Hey, muss If you please, will "wrastle n
hashl" .t
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Animal Teaching.

We have all witnessed in our time,
says Land and Water, the astonishing
performances of certain animals, birds,
and fishes which were trained for the
purpose of exhibition but the majority
of these though they served to prove
the possibility of higher training and
q more useful one, yet in themselves
they exhibited lamentable amount OF
waste labor and waste power.
Long years before the American
Rarey's name was heard as horse
tamer." secret existed, as q family
heirloom. among a sect of the O'Sul-
liyans in the south of Ireland. This
family was known as "Ihe Whisper
ers," and they possessed the power OF
rendering as quiet as lamb the most
stubborn and unmanageable horse that
ever existed. Whether they did any
thing more to the horse than breathe
into his nostrils, we know not but by
dong this and by kind soothing, and
other ways known to themselves, they
effected their purpose and retained their
fame. Putting the question OF drugs,
or stimulants, or other fascinating
means aside, and coming to the point OF
pure and unadulterated domestication
and teaching, perhaps there was no one
person in modern times achieved SO
much success in animal teaching as 3.
Bissett. This man was an humble shoe
maker, He was born in Scotland, IN
l72I. but he afterward removed to Lon
don. where he married woman who
brought him some property; then turn
ed broker, he accumulated money until
the year 1853, when his attention was turn
ed to the training and teaching OF anil
mails, birds, and fishes. He was led to
this new study on reading an account OF
! remarkable horse show at q fair at St
Germans. Bissett bought horse ano
dog. and succeeded beyond his expecta
: tions in teaching them to perform vari
? GUS feats. He next purchasde two mon
! keys, which he taught to dance and
, tumble on q rope, and one would hold
candle in one paw and turn the barre
organ with the other, while his compan
, ion danced. He next taught three cat
to do many wonderful things, to sit be
> fore music books and to squall note
!, pitched to different keys. He advertis
ed "Cat's Opera" in the Haymarket
!. and successfully carried out his pro
! gramme, the cats accurately fulfilling
s all their parts. He pocketed som
}, thousands by these performances. ii
e next taught leveret, and then sewers
species OF birds; to spell the name {
any person in company, and to distir
y guish the hour of the day or night 81
, turkey cocks were next rendered amer
. . able to a country dance, and, after 81
= months teaching, he trained turtle
= fetch and carry like dog, and, hayin
. Ichalked the floor and blackened ]
g g claws, he made it trace out the name
y !, any given person in the company
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Savings for Old Age.

No one denies that it is wise to make
provision for old age, but we are not all
agreed as to the kind of provision 1t is
hest to Law in. Certainly we shall want
a little money, for destitute old man is
indeed a sorry sight; yes, save money
by all means. But an old man needs
lust that particular kind OF strength
which Young men are apt to waste.
MANY foolish young fellow will throw
away on holiday a certain amount OF
nervous energy which he will never feel
the want of until he is seventy, and then
how much he will want it! 1t is curious
hut true, that a bottle of champagne at
twenty will intensity the rheumatism at
threescore.
1t is fact that over-tasking the eyes
at fourteen may necessitate the aid OF
spectacles at forty instead OF sixty. We
advise our young readers to be saving OF
health for their old age, for the maxim
holds good in regard to health as well to
money. "Waste not, want not. 1t Is
| the greatest mistake to suppose that
violation of the laws Of health can escape
its penalty. Nature forgives no SIN, nc
error; she lets off the offender for nifty
wears sometimes, but she catches hlm Of
last, and infiicts the punishment Just
when and where, and just how he feels
it most. Save up for Old Age, but save
/ knowledge; save the recollections OF
Good and noble deeds, innocent pleasures
! and pure thoughts; save friends, save
love. Save rich stores of that kind o.
wealth which time cannot diminish no.
death take way.--RWd Ne,c Yorker.
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
RENDERING Wallis WATER TIaHr. y

RENDERING WALLS WAFER TIaHr. 1T
is proposed by Mr. f. Ransome, of Lon
don. TO render stone and brick walls
waterproof by coating them to satu-
ration with solution OF silicate of soda,
which is specifically decomposed by the
further application of chloride OF cal
cum. The surface thus obtained con.
sists OF silecia OF lime, which is perfect
ly soluble, while it does not alter the ap-
nearance, Fof the wssll.I 9kAM
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06

FEARFUL EXPLOSION The details OF
the explosion Of the boiler Of the steam
er Chautauqua, on Lake Chautauqua'
have been received. Many OF the fea.
lures resemble those OF the Westfield
explosion. Every person on board,
some 40 in number, were thrown in the
air Many were carried as high as 25O
feet. A lady was thrown "about Soo
feet. and she was found drowned IN that
position, standing erect, her feet fast IN
| the soft mud Of the marsh in about six
feet Of water, with the book still IN her
hand that she had piayfully taken from
her husband moment before.
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06

A slight coolness rose between julia
and Augustus at dinner the other day at
Newport. The attentive waiter separat-
ed them with pyramid of ice cream,
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06

FuRsIrUaE PoIIsE. One pint OF lin
seed oil, one wine-glass Of alcohol /; mix
wen together apply to the wood with a
linen rag rub dry with soft cotton
cloth, and polish with silk cloth. Fur
niture is improved by washing it occa.
sionally with soap-suds. Wipe dry, and
rub over with very little linseed oil up
OH clean sponge or flannel.
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Towing by Steam on the Canal.

A novel plan for the propulsion OF ca
nal boats by steam was presented to the
State Commission by the Hon. Chas.
Howard, of New York, one of the Oldest
shipping merchants in the State. He
exhibited miniature canal filled with
water, with two curves, or one reverse
curve. The canal has chain on each
side, one for ascending boats and the
other for descending boats. These chains
are kept in their place around the points
of the curves of the canal by spars, one
end of which is shackled to the shore,
the other end to the chain. These spars
prevent the chain from being drawn
ashore on the point of the canal by the
boats that are towing on it. On the con-
cave side of the curve is short chain
attached to the shore at one end and to
the chain at the other to prevent the
chain drawing from the concave side OF
the curve. The spars above described
have also short brace chain that leads
from the outer end of the spar, diagonal
ly to the shore in such manner as to
take all the strain off from the main
chain beyond that point, which divides
the tension as often as necessary, so that
a light and convenient main chain can
be safely used, and if any accident
occurs to any one section, 1t can
be repaired, while the balance of the
chain each side is intact. He also ex-
hibited several miniature canal-boats,
made on the same scale of the canal,
with small wheel on the side o.
the boat near the bottom, secured
to shaft that extends through the side
of the boat. The wheel has groove. il
its periphery, with proiectiles for the linl
! to drop into. The main chain is lait
: into the groove, and when the engine
: : turned the wheel, it drove the boat alonl
\ with great speed with two or three othe
boats in tow, and turned the curves o
the canal, passing the spars and gu.
) chains with perfect freedom and ease
!, The chains are continuous the Who'll
!, length of the level, but do not exten'
through the locks. The plan contem
plates the plan of having only one boa
in five fitted with an engine, and thi
d engine boat to take about 160 tons cargo
: and the other four 210 tons each. an
tow them from Buffalo to the Hudson
t and then ship q pair OF Indian paddles
l, which are rugged very simple, on eac
e side of the boat, and continue the voy
j. age to New York and back with her flee
3, of barges or common boats The paddle
" were shipped in two minutes OF tint
t and made very rapid speed through tn
q miniature canal.
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06

The KoH-I-NooR. Tie following story
is told concerning the Koh-i-noor cap
tured in India 'eThe Koh-i-noor was
captured in this cheap way In lS49
that well known diamond became part
Of the spoil Of the Anglo-Indian army,
on the conquest and annexation Of the
Punjab, and being then estimated at
81 ,25j 900, there was great Joy over such
a prize. Without consulting the army,
Lord Gongh and Sir Charles Napier, in
command, audaciously presented the
great diamond to Queen Victoria in the
name of the combatants. 1t was not the
general d right 20 rob the army By be-
slowing the greatest Of its spoils Of wai
upon theQusen. nor ought she to have
accepted ii, without seeing that the sol
diers had been paid for it. From thai
time the Indian army have notlecelyed
shilling for their capture OF the Kohl
moor, and Victoria has retained the gen
as her own personal property, instest
Of placing it among the crown jewels
belonging to the British nation
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06
Society and Fashion.

At Staten Island wedding there are
to be ten bridesmaids but no grooms-
man. .t.l a
A novelty in wall decorations is leath-
er paper, which has the effect OF fresco
and is very beautiful. 9
Very few ladies at Saratoga seem to be
willing or courageous enough to appear
in the same toilette twice. oaaen 81
All the ladies in Paris now dress in
deep mourning, and the gaiety is con-
fined entirely to the foreign visitors, q.
The Chinese crepe dresses have found
unusual favor this season at the sea shore
as they do not shrink or wrinkle with
the dampness.
| A man is in no danger as long as he
talks love, but when he writes 1t, he is
impaling himself on his own pot-hooks
most effectually. M
Oyerskirts are now worn so very long
that the underskirts are usually made OF
an inferior quality of silk, with tiounces
the same as the overskirt.
A lady at Long Branch appeared at
one of the chops" in dress OF yellow
satin trimmed with founces OF black
lace. on which were fastened lire Brazil
ian bugs
A cynical man says the reason women
are SO fond Of writing letters is that they
rejoice in the opportunity OF saying all
they wish without the possibility OF an
interruption. in
Bronze boots have entirely gone out
of fashion, as the least dampness turns
them light purple color, and the
polish used to renovate them STAINS ail
goods with an ineffaceable stain.
UNITED STATES Returns
: from all the various Revenue Districts,
save the third Mississippi, show the ag.
eregate receipts for the fiscal year, end
ing June Both, 1871, to be $144, OIL, ia
; q falling off from the year previous O.
: about $41, 900, 600, the principal decreas,
!, being in theincome tax, which realized
: this wear S19, ,157, ,958, as against $37,
: 775. .S73 for 1870. The sources from
which this revenue was derived are a
follows: Spirits, SAG, 2S2. 463; tobacco
( ss33, ,56S, ,5S7; fermented liquors, w ,3Os,
: I4l; banks and bankers, 3,643, sS9; IN
s comes, $40, 157, ,95S; miscellaneous, $40,
!. 413, $50. Full returns from the delin
!. ouent district will only swell the aggre
e gate about $4,000.
E,,,xs,rr-pp po1,Isr One pint Of lin
Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1871-09-06

Why was Eve not afraid of the mes.
sles Because she'd ADAM
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1871-05-10
How to Rule a Husband.

Above all things, if wife wishes to make
home attractive to her mate let her keep
sharp eye on the cook nothing makes male
creature more discontented with his house
than bad dinners, observed if there is any
thing that will make him swear land there
generally is, my dear young lady, although
his temper seemed so angelic when he was
a.wooing), it is a cold plate with hot meat,
or hot one with his cheese. Neglect of this
sort is objectionable. Again it may not be
possible to give him danties but it is easy to
avoid monotony by careful study Of the
cookery book and it is astonishing how the
monster man can be subjugated and assuaged
by a judicious variation Of his meals. The
creature may be allegorically pictured lightly
led By a fair lady with wedding ring through
his palate Indeed, there are a thousand
ways to lead him, If women would show lit
tie tact, with which they they are so falsely
credited. Opposition, contradiction, pake'
him furious he stamps, he roars, and be
comes altogether dangerous. Whereas, trea
him tenderly, O wife, and you shall wine
him round your marriage finger. ! have sect
wives miss their. chance Of gaining what the.
set their eye on a thousand times throug
sheer stupidity they know that certai
line of conduct is sure to anger him, and yc
they wilfully pursue it, when smooth and eas
victory awaits them in another direction
Tact Such women, say, have not even il
stinct Birds of paradise, for instance Inc
to be rude) would act in a sagacious manne
f-ChamberS'S Journal
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1871-05-10

She always encouraged me and always
tried to make our little home so pleasant. |
have not tasted drop Of liquor since we
were married. aud now | don't care to-
would not, Ncttie never scolds mc--neyer
finds fault, but always tells me everything
will come out right, till [ believe she is in
partnership with the angels some way, and
knows all about it.
She is good woman, she is. Always so
kind and careful, would die with shame to
speak cross word to her or 10 tell her lie.
Why, it would break her heart. She saves
and is careful-we live for each other and the
babies, and are happy all the time. We have
almost fifteen hupdred dollars in the bank, and
that is a good deal for a poor man to have.
One thing we are not sick now. | don't dis
sipate-go TO bed early-liye temperately,
stay at home nights to read books borrowed
from the library. We have read over five
hundred books through since have been ir-
ing in New York Now | am reading Ben.
tons Thirty Years in the Senate, to get bet
ter idea Of politics then. When Nettie is
here we read other books Of travel OF incl
dent till we have become quite well posted.
But they make books so fast we cannot keep
up with them
1t was a good day for me when was sick
and Nettie came to me. It set me thinking,
and | have been at il ever since. But for
her do not know what would become Of me,
so try to do all can to make her happy,
but somehow she always keeps me in her debt.
| We don't bother about our neighbors, so we
have more time for each other, and so much
7 less to worry over This makes lots Of diff
/ ference.
All, here she comes
A happy home Two persons living for
each other, and for the good they can do
And this happy home this great reformation
this man saved from a life Of dissipation
and from being wreck-thi in evidence o
womans work-woman's worth aud womau'
right to a happy home and life of loving la
Dor and sweet rest Over There in the Eterna
Gardens where she will be with him she save'
and loves so well and tenderly this Saturda.
night" Brick Pomeroy