Mower County transcript., 1871-08-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A 5000 DIAMOND has been found in
Florida fish.

THEY recently hAO StOTm III leXaS
which travelled 73O miles in thirty hours.
New York has twenty nine miles of
water front and over seventeen miles OF
saloons.
THE Washington is purely mutual, and
divides its profits among its policy holders
only.
A DAUGHTER of New York stock
broker exults over the fact that she has
been to Europe six times, and has never
seen the inside Of her mothers kitchen.
THE largest telescope in the world is
now being made at Cambridge, Mass, for
the government Three or four years will
be required to complete it..
A FELLOW tried to hang himself in
London not long ago, and the magistrate
before whom he was taken very properly
ordered him to pay the man who cut him
down ten shillings for the job.
A HARTFORD horse seizts rats in his
mouth when they come to his manger to
steal his oats. shakes them like = terrier
until satisfied they are dead, and then
throws them out of the bin.
YOU'VE lady (indignant at being brought
to the Academy Of Design too early: :
Now, told you, papa, this wasn't the
fashionable hour. Well have nothing but
these horrid pictures to look at till the
people comc!'
AT recent wedding in Rhinebcck, as
the clergy reached that part of the cerc-
mony, now pronounce you" fish
pcddler in tho street shouted bull heads |
bul l-heads" to the amusement of some,
and the CONSERVATION of others, present
on the occasion.
THE distribution of carbolic acid
throughout the air of the room in which
patients are treated, SO as to create what is
known as a carbolized atmosphere, has
been found to be produc i've Of great bcno-
tit, in India and Egypt, in the treatment of
In the midst of q stormy discussion, a
gentleman rose to settle the matter in dis
pute. Waving his hand majestically over
the excited disputants, he began: Gen.
tlemen, all want is common sense"
Exactly, that is precisely what you
WANT! was the Immediate response.
MIR. w. w. THOMAS, Jr, the Maine
Commissioner Of Immigration, has been
presented by Swcde with watch, triang-
ular in form, having tho dial near the
vertex of one of the angles. BY looking
through an aperture in the dial, the day Of
the month is ascertained, and beneath the
dial Is an arrangement which shows the
day Of the week.
A YOUNG lady in the singers gallery of
a church at Lyons, N. Y, while looking
over the railing, the other Sunday, to see
what the congregation had to wear that
was new, lost her balance and fell plump
upon q deacOn's head and shoulders. She
bounded into the aisle, however, without
receiving any injury, and joined in the
concluding hymn.
WHILE compositors and proofreaders
in order. The Food .Iournal, published
in London, has to apologize for very fun
ny blundcr of the types. In recent
number it credited the Boston Journal of
Chemistry with the responsibility of a mon.
strous pea, measuring thirteen and onehalf
inches in circumference! 1t should have
been pear.
IN the town Of Newbury, Mass, is a
dwelling which was erected in 1862. It
was used for garrison in the time OF the
Indian wars. The stairs are made of blocks
of oak timber ten inches wide and ten
inches thick. It is now occupied by the
seventh generation of the family that built
it, the Christian name Of each owner being
Benjamin.
In Titusville, Pa, when a man owns
four or tive hundred wells he is generally
considered well off, and "barrelsiul of oil''
is the synonym Of pockets full of rocks. u
1t is customary to speak of the fashiona.
BILE young lady as wearing an eighty-six
barrel opera suit, and when boy wants to
have his teeth plugged he gets requisi.
ton on the "old man" for couple of bar.
rels Of oil. The system being abundantly
fabricated, works very smoothly.
A CITIZEN of Albany, N. Y, has been
particularly unfortunate in the marriage
relation. Ills first wife killed herself
thirty four years ago; nine years after, his
second wife ran away from him, and died
Of consumption in Illinois; six years latel
his third cOnsOrt was drowned. In 1856
his fourth helpmate was killed, and he
having been convicted Of the murder, was
sent to prison for life, but pardoned out
In another decade the fifth partner mystic
riously disappeared; and very recently the
sixth idol of his soul sought peace and OBJ
ivion by hanging herself to bedpost.
Rev Mr. TALMADaE told his Brookly
people in sermon, the other day, that the
Sabbath evening previous a woman wal
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the church after service. In the deliriuu
that followed she kept repeating: "Eieh
cents! Eight cents! wish could eat il
done! am 80 tired! l wish I could pe
some sleep, but I must get it done! Eigh
cents! Eight cents!" It was afterwar(
found that she was making garments fo
eight cents apiece, and that she Coul(
make but three of them in a day! An(
the physician said she evidently needed
food more than medicine.
TWENTY years ago Boston tailor rctir
ed from business on account of failin,
health. For few years past he had sui
fered much from dizziness. A short tim
ago surgeon discovered and extractc,
from his body a common sized needle
with double thread four inches in length
attached. AS he had used no needle o
the kind for twenty years, the surgeon
supposed he must have swallowed it an
terror to the period, and is of the opinion
that the working of the needle and threa,
through the system caused the dizziness
Since the operation the patient feels great
ly relieved, and is improving in health.
An odd law.case was lately tried in Bir
mjngham, England. A laby lost her well
beloved parrot; and, one day, she saw i
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not give it up. An action was brought
The lady declared on oath that her Dir,
spoke English. The bird. man swore tha
that this particular Poll Conversed only il
Spanish; but being brought into court,
was abashed, and opened not its mouth
1t was then given in charge to an inapec
tor, who reported that upon recovering
it's lost parts of speech, it burst int,
"PrettV POllY"" Rcautiful POl1v -" X ia
Polly" "Good morning" "What's tn
timer" There was nothing of the nobl
Spanish about thls and the cracker eatin
creature was handed over to it's mistrcs.
without even the formality of a crosse
animation.
A GENTLEMAN of New York CITY, witt
and agreeable, but with a single imped
ment of speech, had it in his heart TO bt
com" the pcssessor af a pure black Ia
terrier, for which he was willing to pay
liberal price, A superior little brute wa
brought to him by dog .fancicr, who de
maEded for it the modest price of fit
dollars Not being disposed to check fn
that figure unless sure that the dog was
; good ratter, he proposed to tho party t
meet him next day at a pit where dogs an
rats were brought for sanguinary contes
and try him with a rat. Agreed. Nc,
day our friend, having obtained first. t.clas
rat of the "wharf" species, had linn COZ
vcyed to the theatre of strife Both wer
at the same time thrown into the arcn,
After being pursued for moment the RI
him on the lip, and made him howl wit
cnas or turned and said, II d-don't thin
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