Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1871-02-12

A TEST THAT NEVER FAILs-THR BEST
ETE FOB A Gas BAG.
The sensitiveness Of stupid people is
generally an accurate measure Of their
Intelligence. Conscious that they are
empty humbugs, they abhOr the pin that
pricks the bubble, and squirm whenever
even the point of a Joke is presented
They pronounce that "coarse" which Is
very me, and, instead OF repartee, resort
to vulgar epithets. A man conscious Of
his strength and worth enjoys ridicule or
bsdinage, and the sharper the wit or more
just the excoristion, the better he likes 1t.
But give one Of the empty, swell-head,
pOmpOus sort, a slight dig in the short
ribs that may knock out a little of the
vast quantity OF vspOr with which he is
pulled up, and imposes OF ignorant
people, and as the wind bag cOllspses, the
fires of anger blaze, and the pompous,
oWl-like fraud upon the public is dis
covered of all men.
THE PREACHERS.
The paragraph above is designed to
subserve the future e~xigencies Of those
who may speak very freely of pulpit
DISCLAIMERS, and pulpit snorers and
pulpit snOrterE, who are only eXcelled in
all the arts of supplying people by some
dozen or two old swells at the bar. We
are well aware that charity covers a null
titude of sins, but its amplitude is not
broad enough to OVerspresd all the ash
nine stupidity thaC has been illustrated
on the bench, at the bar and in the pulpit
to say nothing of the press. Charity
can't effOrd to tear her clothes in the ef-
fort to conceal all human weakness.
Therefore, if we should tell the unvar-
nished truth about the parsons, which
they viii pardon us for saying, they never
/ hear from their meekiy tender-hearted
hOcks, we would fsin hope that no ofense
will be given. If wrong be done, the good
men will surely exercise that charity
about which they are accustomed to de-
claim so eloquently, and not grow savage
because a jest ia uttered or a flaw
detected in b mannerlsm or philosophy
of a patent desk hammerer. From what Oc-
CURED last Sunday, people may deduce
rational conclusions as 70 coming events
to-day, therefore, If we tell tomorrow Of
sermons dsiiyeredjn the seYeral churches,
on the following Sabbath the multitude
will be better prepared to select a church
in which they may be entertained and
edited by the OratOry or dizziness of the
pulpit. II is well, too, to note the rela-
tive excellence of the
CHOIRs
that swing CenseTs OF divine melody to
and fro before the altar, and delicious
music is waited away, bearing on its
wings the hottest aspirations that come
bubbling up from the souls Of men.
Where they have no choirs, it might be
well to observe whether the lOudest singer
pinches his shiuplaster tightly before
dropping it into the contribution box and
at the same time looks Wistfully at his
nsighbor, hoping that he will drop q dol
lar greenbsck into the till OF the sanctu-
airy. When q V flashes in the mellow
light its pictures are reflected in the smil-
ing face OF the tax-gatherer, and a story
| of nn1iuhf ia Told fhara ng chs rmfnu "a
hat which Overspread the p~hysiOgnOmy
Of AgassiZ when he discovered 3 monkey
with a tubular tail,
AN APOLOGY.
People may expect us to write of these
matters with %hideOusly long faces, but we
have seen very funny things at funerals,
and even in g~ravey8rds, and don't under
tsnd what crime that good man commit
ted who occupied the sacred desk and saw
a wag in the gallery holding a tobacco
quid between his thumb and fOrefugsr.
The practical joker was 50 absorbed in his
task that he did not observe the stammer-
ing of the preacher. The soft, oily tobacco
was dropped and passed into the open
mouth Otthe fat, piOusly-inClined dreamer
below. He snOrted like q hippOpOtsmus,
and so did the preacher, and surely the
latter was guilty of no Offense against
heavens laws. The fun of an incident is
only heightened by its occurrence in SOL
emn ~cOnclaves, and therefore If stupid
blunders be committed there is no harm
in their recital, and we hope none of the
brethren will be offended.
A short, spicy sermon is far better than
q long slee~p-provoking One-but how
many fail to see it7 A brief, animated
discourse, enlivened with an occasional
witticism, will produce q more lasting i'm
preston than the long, pYOsy hOmily
which some well-mesning, but mistaken
dominic, spins through the stale 4" seven
teenthly," Wesrying his hearers, until
sOOthed by the mOnOtOnous strain, they
sink calmly into natures sweet restOrer, /
bsImy sleep" And who wonders? Man
seeks variety and animation and he
ought to have it. Short ssrmOns-brief
and pithy-are beginning to have the pre-
dominance.
CHRISTIAN READING oOHs.
Christian associations outside of any
church are eminently useful. That mag
ni6oent absurdity-the fierce doctrine of
religious technicalities-is gradually
vanishing, and the broad spirit manifest
ed by the bonding together of Christian
young men from a variety of denOmiua-
tions helps it along. The everyday whirl
of business, temptations and besetmsnts
of life IN great cities test the fibre and
manhood of q young fellow more in one
year than would a whole lifetime in the
quiet country. So he needs practical
talk, advice, counsel, and, may be, warn
ing, from those who assume fitness for
such cOUnsellng.
1t is interesting to go early and watch
the young men as they arrive at the church
door. Now M then n comes with
his sister, who has the same outline of
face and like color In her hair and eyes.
Sitting by him in her msidenly beauty,
she looks like an incarnated benediction,
AnCthar nnForo NTH hF1 auroothaa-F - l.. I
easy enough to tell that from his manner.
Now and then a pair of wild fellows stray
in, entering with doubt and sitting down
near the door, so they may leave at any
time. 1t is a pretty hall, the organ is well
played, the singing is congregational, and
the hymns familiar ones, such as they
used TO hear in the little church near their
b~OyhOod's home, and withsl, they con-
clude 10 tarry and see the "thinR out"
They twIrl their hats nervOusly and won
der if they had better stayl Finally, they
concluded will do no harm, and are some
what surprised that so many tarry. When
all are quiet, some earnest fellow opens
the meeting with a few appropriate
words; some other n starts of with q
melting, melOdious hymn, and another in
turn Leads in prayer" It all leads to
introspection and, if nc other good is
achieved, that Is something. Memories
of other, and perhaps better days, flood
the soul; q fathers kindly blessing; a
mothers holy and Undying love. A few
faces are fairly radiant with child-like
faith and trust. The young fellows near
the door look thoughtful and serious, in
spite of the r0Wdyish twist and hue OF
their mustsches and style OF neckties.
has aroused to a glow the
spark Of spiritual manhood within.
II may last for only a moment, but in its
the better nature has received
q new impulse, perhaps sufficient to
carry the nan safely through the next
temptation he meets. !
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