Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1871-10-14
Humorous.

SWITCH TENDERs-Hair pins.
MucH IN BRIEF-The alphabet.
BAcKGAMMoN-A lady's panier.
The tune of the smoker-Spit-tun
TENNYsoN is again Idyling away his
time.
MANY plain young ladies live to be
pretty old ones.
ARE good looking women ever en-
gagged as plain cooks p
VINO was Richard the Third before he
was "himself again p
WHEN may a man be said to be
book? When he is a tome.
WHEN is a young lady Every like a
whale?" When she's poutlng.
A WESTERN editor reports money
"close, but not close enough to be
reached"
SOME lawyers can't sleep. They lie
the other.
In TINE the mulberry tree becomes
silk gown-and silk gown becomes a
woman.
INAPPROPRIATE reward of Merit Que
ry-Ought an advocate of policy Of non
interference in every difficulty be re-
warded with meddle
A HITHERTO unpublished medical ex-
perience: Doctor" Have you taken
any remedy ?" Patient" No, but I've
took lots Of physic.'
The latest extract from " What ]
know about farming" Catch your but
terhies late in August. Select the deep
yellow ones if you would get good, sweet
salable butter.
A SWELL, wishing to make himself
interesting, asked, Maria, what do you
suppose / was hundred years ago?'
"Just what you are now, nothing at all
was the prompt reply.
New JERSEY boat builders merely lay
the planks onto the timbers and get in
side The musketoes run their sharp
bills through, and the men inside rivet
them. No bolts are needed.
"WHERE do you hail from?" queried
Yankee of traveller. where do
YOU rain from p ~ don't rain at ALL
said the astonished Jonathan. "Nei,
ther do hail, so mind your own busi-
ness"
A LITTLE bit of thing, who had just
got back from party, was asked by
her mamma how she enjoyed herself.
go, mamma ~ she said, Pm so full of
happiness. couldn't be no happier,
without was bigger
SOMEBODY once asked Tom Corwin if
he had heard certain story OF Lewis
D. Campbell's. "Was it about himself?'
inquired Mr.. Corwin. No, | believe
not" "Well, then, l never heard it,"
said Mr.. Corwin, gravely.
A CORRESPONDENT asks, and then an
swers, the following riddle What is
the difference between the passion for
chignons and a storm at sea? One ls
raging main, and the other raging
mania.
On hearing the report that the shock
ing condition of the firemen's hose had
resulted in the destruction of large
amount of property, woman sat up
all night darning her husbands stock
ings.
MORE revenge for the Union-Saxon
tourist lat Irish railway station): "What
time does the half past eleven train start,
Paddy" Porter: sc At thurtty minutes
to twelve-sharrup, sirn'
HARRY" Your dawg is very thin,
William" William" He is very
bad but when he dies l am going to
stuff him, Harry" Harry (insipuating-
ly)-" Hadn't you better stuff him be-
fore he dies?'
The rite of baptism being about to be
administered to several infants, con-
fused clergyman requested, with great
solemnity, that "All children having
parents whom they wish to be baptized,
will please to present them before the
altar"
A ScoTcu minister recently told his
neighbor that he spoke two hours and
a half the Sunday previous. Why,
were YOU not tired to death ?' asked the
neighbor. saw, nae," said he; d" was
as fresh as rose " but it would have
done your heart good to see how tired
the congregation was"
A LADY, impelled by the demands of
fashion to seek recreation ~ in the
country during the summer months,
writes back despairingly " Did you
ever revel in the gaities of a alf-grown,
torpid village, where a walk to the
graveyard was the only recreation, and
where, if you Indignantly refuse to
walk, you were shudderingly remind ed,
All, poor child, you may haze to 60
there soon p"