The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1871-01-06
HUM0Rs or THE DGT.

Bearer than lilc-Fa-iiionable lurnc-
rails.
The talk Of the town-The English
language.
The sllip that every body likes Cuod
fellowship.
WlIas are thc best letters Of rceom-
incubation: /. s. d.
Lawyers get their living By plumber,
aud doctors by pill-age.
Housewives mOtto-W Whatever thou
dost, dust It with al thy might.
sim of when you talk Of working"
as the cork said to the ginger-pOp.
The merchant who has been for some
time bent on pleasure is at last broke.
An old maid says marriage is like
other dieeases-swllile there life there's
hope.
An exchange says tits not good taste
for gentlemen TO stay after ten O'Clock
when visiting young lady. We never
nsticed any difference In the taste after
10 O'Clock.
A vivid idea of the weakness Of chick
ell soup was conveyed in q ways query
to his wife at dinner. Can't you coax
that chicken to wade through the soup
once mOreS'
That's very singular said a young
her oh. well, my dear Miss, was the
reply, i will make it plural and the
william did.
One farmer says his stock is so re-
| duced, that he has only stack OF
chimneys left.
"A backward spring" is produced
mans nose.
As we often hear of flying bricks,
we ought not 10 be sstonished at
hearing OF a chimney fue.
Whence does a cock learn the time
| TO sound This shrill clarion :" From
his crow-nOmeter.
A correspondent inquiries whether
| the Germans will care so much for
the w atch on the Rhine now that
they have got the great Strasbonrg
| Clock.
A Chicago paper recommend An
/ other fragrant fiction impaled upon
| the fork of fact" as an Improvement
upon the familiar phrase, "AnOther
| lie nailed
y little girl coming to Newport,
and seeing the willow phaetOns, COM
mon there, for the first time, cXclaim-
| ed; why, mamma, everybody rides
out in their clothes-baskets here"
4 woman who never owned a
Bible supposed she was quoting it
/ when she greeted her son, who came
| home to keep Thanksgiving, in the
| following words: Here comes the
| fatted calf
A mosquito taper is Pittsburg in-
| ventioH. It creates such u smell
/ ask to be excused. 1t drives human
beings out doors also, which is its
only defect.
| J~hn Randolph " as once, OH Il race
course, solicited to bet by stranger,
VINO said: Zones, here, will hold
| the stakes" Just so,' replied the
| descendant OF POcahontas "but who'll
hold Jones?"
A gentleman who had very deaf
servant was advised by a friend to
| discharge her. "No, no." replied the
| gentleman, with good feeling; 'the
| poor creature could never hear of
| another situation"
| a short time since Mr.. Knott was
/ tried in ail interior county of Georgia
| for a violation of law. The verdict
! of the Jury was: 1--WE find the de-
| PENDANT Knott guilty." The judge
was at a loss whether to sentence or
not.
"Nou iatter me- said , thin eX-
| Quisite tic other day 10 q young lady
who was praising the beauty OF his
moustachc. ''FOr gracious sake,
ma'am," imtcTposcd u sharp friend,
don't make that monkey any fatter
| than nc is now"
4 personal in a New York daily
| a week ago stated that "ifJohn Smith
| formerly of Philadelphia, will call at
| No. Blank street, lac will hear
| something to his advantage" John
| called. There was about go of him
and he has been calling at the rate
of fOrty-seven per day ever since the
"pcrsonal" appeared.
| BEWARE OF the fatal consequences Of neg
| Letting tho irst symptoms Of Consumption.
| When cough first appears, or dun pain
| in the chest, you should use ALIENS LUNG
! BALSAM at once. II breaks up the most
harrassiug coughs in an incredible short
! time, heal the lrrItated parts and restores
health to the system.
| For sale by all Druggists.
Old lands are restored TO original fer
tility 10y MURFEE's SUB-SoIL and cul-
! tivating ATTACHMENTS.