Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1871-10-21
V ERIN ONT FARM E r.

slumber, with one hand on the rail so the
jar of the approaching trains will wake them.
If they sleep too soundly their hands are run
over and mashed
Doctor" said wealthy patient to his ply
stefan, II want you to be thorough. Strike
ut the root of the diseased "Well, | WILL"
said the doctor, as he lifted his cane and
brought it down hard enough to break into
pieces bottle and glasses which stood upon
the side board. 1t was his last professional
visit to that house.
We have heard of the man who was so Ia
~ that he hired n black boy to eat his break
fast for him, but his aversion to labor was
not Il circumstance to that of Chauncey +.
Paine, life prisoner ut Michigan City, who
lately gave his leg three terrible blows with
an adj, nearly severing it from his body III
order to escape hard work.
There is dearth of game in the West this
fall. A sportsman lately asked Fond du
Lac farmer if there were any prairie chick
ems out his way. He replied he thought
there was; he had seen one last haying time,
and each day since there had been from six
w - NoHoh spoitoiioh 'thd NoSo ''t'i h'i ~
lust accounts the old hen was ahead.
An Illinois constable made return on the
back of II paper thus: 81 executed this sub
peeny by trying to read it to John Mack, but
he was drivin' cattle on horseback, and run
faster than could, and kept up such hol-
lerin I don't know whether he heerd or not.
This is the best could do, and don't know
whether the subpeeny is served according to
law or not.'
Two prominent citizens of Louisville, KY,
are employing some of the best legal counsel
in the state to determine the ownership of u
three pound poodle dog. The suit involves
tracing and recording the pedigree of that
dog, dispositions from New Orleans and n
host of witnesses from all parts of the coun-
try as he has been cosmopolitan pup and
done considerable travelling in his day.
President Theirs is riding around in Louis
Napoleon's old carriages, whereupon cynic
says that is always the way with the repub-
lie in France, it struts about in the cast-off
clothes of monarchy. This opinion receives
confirmation from the fact that Theirs has
recently prosecuted Paris journal which
contained some insignificant carcature of
himself, according to the custom which pre-
vailed under the empire.
A young lady was knocked 16 feet down
the hatchway of Hudson river steamer, the
other day, by the parting of the cable, strik-
ing on her head, but suffering no serious in
Jury. owing to her protecting 'polnpadour."
With crinoline to poise them in air and float
them in water, and with pompadours to neu-
tralize conclusion, we do not see but our wo-
men are us secure from bodily injury as they
can be, even if they haven't their rights.
A man in Wisconsin has applied for II di-
vorce, upon the ground that his wife married
him under false pretcnces. He says she told
him while he was addressing her, that she
could hoe an acre of potatoes and split two
cords of wood between breakfast and dinner;
and she had proved herself n fearful fraud
because she could only split half a cord and
hoe only three times across the field. 1t
seems hard that men are continually to be
made the victims of these designing women
Why will wives trihe in this manner with
the tenderest affections of their husbands?