Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1871-10-18
Miscellaneous Items.

"N wa "ahit ADh ' INV q
gin sling.
A pric!Sly pair--A hedgehog and
porcupinc.
Wheels go best when they arc tho.
oughly tired.
Every person complains of the bad.
ness of his memory, but none of their
defective judgment
No porson ever got stung by hor.
nets who kept away from where they
were. 1t is just SO with bad habits.
Hearts may be attracted by assumed
qualities but the affections are only
TO be fixed by those that are real.
II love is blind, why is it that when
u young man falls in love, he is almost
universally required "to see papa"
A promise should be given with
caution and kept with care 1t should
be made with the heart and remem
bercd by the head.
In proof of the assertion that cattle
will stray into strange places, we may
say that we have seen COW hide in u
shoemaker's shop.
81 will be in the fashion, if | die for
it !" said the ambitious belle, whose
locks were not of the ruling tint; and
dye she did
A reader Of an article in an evangel.
ical weekly "on converting United
States five twenties," says he longs to
be Il missionary in that field, and
thinks he should cleave unto his flock.
When Radical politician leaves
with a large amount Of government
funds in his pockets, the government
organs announce that his accounts are
adjusted" and his stealings are call
ed irregularities"
'Tis solace for man who is never
happy unless he is winning, or losing,
or making wager, to recall the wit.
ticism "a man who don't bet is as
bad as the man that does; or, at least,
be is no better"
In case under the Vermont liquor
law at Lynden, Vermont, a witness
caused an unploasantness in the court
room by testilying that he drank with
two men-one of the lawyers in the
case, and the justice who was hearing
it,
A short time since two fashionable
young ladies were holding high con
verse over the virtues OF a certain new
dress. "And does it fl wel?' asked
one. Gifts as if had been melted and
pured in"
Egotism is simply vanity, making
itself conspicuous and also ridiculous.
True worth is not egotistic, though
solid worth may be attended with the
weakness of vanity; the weakness,
not tho worth, is responsible for tho
egotism,
There may be something in a name,
for tho very polite Boston papers call
their Founding Asylum "Rcfuge for
Anonymous Infants" while Chicago,
with the most finished etiquette, an.
nounccs "Ranche for babies born on
the European plan"
The following is from the Terre
Haue Mail, 'Gf the party who plays
the ACCORDION in this vicinity at nights
will only change his tune occasionally,
or sit where we can sca,d him whom
the engine has steam on, he will hear
of something to his advantage"
A brick of pnpa observed to his
daughters beau: "Jim if you want
Lu you can have her; but don't want
you hanging around unless you near
business. If you intend to marry
hurry up, for can't be kept awake
nights much longer"
A negro was arraigncd before one
of the Camden courts. short time
since, charged with the larcency o'
some wood. When called on to plead
TO the Indictment, he said al bonghi
de wood, and dat | knows ] did but
to save my soul from de gallis, can't
tell de man I bought it of kasc it was
dark when | bought It,"
The New York Mail says: otis an
exploded theory that woman dresses
to please man. They dressed to please
or spite each other. Any girl Of sense
and experience knows that it is just as
easy to break a mans heart in u two
dollar muslin, neatly made up. as Il
is in five hundred dollar silk costume
made up by fancy dress maker.
Jonathan and Paddy were riding
together one day when they came IN
sight of an old gallows. This suggest
ed TO the American the idea Of being
witty at the expense of his Irish com
panion. "You see that ] calculate
said he; "and now where would YOU
be If tho gallows had its due " "Rid.
ing alone, be jabcrs," coolly replied
Paddy.
AsToSIsnED.-A Detroit husband
caught his wife and tho family physi
clan kissing like young lovers in the
gushingcst stage, and offered a few
remarks, whereat the lady began tc
cry. The husband inquiring the rea.
son, "Alas,' replied she, 81 weep be-
cause your utter want Of confidence in
me terribly afllicts my sensitive ma
ture " lie looked thoughtful
One very cold night, jolly old fell
low, who had been drinking too free
ly at tavern, started for home in a
zig, and on tho way was upset aud
left by the side Of the road. Some
persons passing short time after
discovered him holding his feet NJ to
the moon, and calculating TO some in
visible person
"Ple on the wood it's a miserable
cold fire y
1t has been reported that among
the decorative carvings Of the church
Mt Hartford, Connecticut, erected
IN remembrance of the late ColDue
Colt of revoI, ing memory, representa-
tons of pistols arc not jnfrequcnt ;ns i
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