The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-03-02
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WIT AND \

"A young man, who is desperately
IN love, saws that he has been electrified
with gal-vNuio battery,
1t is at the approach Of dinner.
time Tint VIC feel most scnsibly the
"clap,iucss qr things below"
Figaro says he has reflected a good
deal on the lapse Of ages, and prefers,
on the whole, the age Of seventeen.
\ The best cough drop for young
i ladies is to drop the practice Of dress
\ ing thin when you go into the night
air.
People who advertise only once in
three months forget that most folks
cast remember anything longer than
about seven days.
"A negro, after gazing at the Chi.
nose, exclaimed: "If de white folks is
4 as dark as dat out tere, wonder what's
de color oh dc niggars :"
] No man yet who had strength ov
mind cnuli ever Lesortcd tcw cunning.
Cunning is half. brother tew fear, and
they are both ov them weaknesses.
"A countryman in short discourse
- on love says: ut does pear like the
\ girls 90 half way, but it pears like u
team Of oxen couldn't draw en- t'other
half"
An Irish paper says that, Sin the
ohseusc Of both editors, the publishers
have succeeded in securing the SER
vices of gentleman to edit the paper
this week.
ANY summarized preacher de.
string an engagement in Leayenworth,
Kansas, is requested by an advertise
mcnt from that city to address Sister
Kat Hans H.
"A disturbed preacher remarked:
"If that cross-eyed lady in the side
aisle, with red hair and blue bonnet,
don't stop taking, must point her
out to the congregation
-" Alyersity,' says a Western
ma takes II; up short and sets
Us Gown hard, and when it's done with
us we fee! rs contented as boy that's
been spanked and set away TO cool
"A scho0lmasicr thus describes 4
money lender; "Ile serves you in the
present tense; he lends You III the con-
ditional mood; keeps you in the sub
junctye; and ruins you in the future"
A charming young lady OF Coun-
ell Bluffs surprised her mother, on re
turning from dance, by saying that
She enjoyed the "hugging set to music
) amalingly.' She referred to wAltzing.
An eloquent divine Of Sheboygan
county, Wis, has won and welded
.cmAlo in the State prison, and the To-
? cal paper announces that "thc friends
Of the bride were opposed TO the al
lance
"A young lady, at an examination
in grammar, was asked why the noun
"bachelor' was singular? She replied
immediately, with much naivettc, BE.
cause it is very singular they don't get
married.
Somebody says "devil' is mean
word any way it may be written. Re
move the d and it is "evi," transpo>n
and it's "vile," remove the and it is
ILL., y remove the and remains, wu,,h
has the aspirate sound of "hell."
The remark Of an exchange, 'that
many Of our successful lawyers COM
menccd life AS preachers" is graceful
ly corrected by one Of the legal gentle
men referred to, who begs leave to
state "tbat he began lie as an infant"
"A kiss, says French autAoress,
gives more pleasure than anything else
IN the world. But Puck declares that
that wom"n evidently Eever eXpe-
rienccd the childish rapture of descend
ing the parlor stairs by sliding down
the banisters.
81 meant to have told you of that
hole said a gentleman to his friend,
who was walking with him in his gar
den, and stumbled into a pit full Of
water mo matter" said the friend,
blowing the mud and water out Of his
mouth, 1--WE found it,
-''What is the difference between
You and me ?" asked Victoria Wood
hull of Judge Bingham the other day.
in conversation on the equality of
saxes. II cannot conceive, madam"
responded the gallant opponent of wo-
man suffrage.
1T is settled principle, your
Honor" said lawyer, "tEat causes al
ways produce elects" They always
do for the attorney blahdly respond
ed the Judge; "but I've sometimes
known single case to deprive q client