Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1871-10-21
Wit and Wisdom.

|
lines, "When the awful summons hear
ing to the great disgust of the domi-
ME, and no small delight of the con
gregation, improvised it by singing full
and distinct. When these awful ser
mons hearing"
| A GOOD story is told of Deacon Cook,
who. in the early days of the Boston
and Worcester Railroad, used to "tend
gate" at the station of Boston, and
direct passengers which cars to take to
| reach their destination. drunken
Natick cobbler staggered up to him one
day, and the deacon inquired, with his
usual urbanity, "Where are you going?"
"Going to h-llw was the bluff reply.
"Take the next car" said the deacon,
"and get off at Natick y
A JEALOUS representative of the
Young Mems Christian Association was
a few days ago drumming up recruits
for the moon prayer-meeting. On the
street he met Mr.. -, now residing
outside of the city limits The repre-
sentative of the Young Mems Christian
Association accosted him, and the fol-
lowing conversation ensued "Do you
reside in the city, Mr.. -" "No,
sir; live in the country" awe have
prayermeeting around here, and
would be glad to have friends from the
country meet with us. Will you come?"
"a prayer-meeting? Yes, sir come
in and get a blessing {" No, you don't;
you can't come any of your confidence
games on me, sir "
The Round Lake Sanctifcationists
have started movement to build
church in Salt Lake City with toe dis
carded .iewelry of the sisters who have
attained into perfection and need no
other ornament. But what is to be
done with the jewelry? Is it to be
sold? 81 found" said good woman
in prayer meeting, that my .jewelry
was dragging me down to hell and so
took it off and gave it to my sister" Is
this to be the method of the new re-
form? If it is wicked to wear .jewelry.
it is wicked to sell it; and when il
comes to be melted down, we sadly fear
it will take more than the sanctified
sisters can furnish to build n meeting
house.
THERE is a man out in Wyoming who
did not want for woman's wit when
forced to do woman's work while his
wife was on the jury. He appealed to
her to come home, but she want in any
particular hurry, as '' he would now find
out how nice it was to stay at home and
mind the children, while she was loafing
around the courthouse as he used to
do" The man went home and hired
good-looking cook, and sent his wife
word to be sure and not come home
until she wanted to on his account, but
as soon as the news reached her she
bolted Immediately, and is now one OF
the loudest opposers of female suffrage.
A COMIC story is told of Dean Stanley's
parrot, which was a great pet of the
whole family One day Polly managed
to open the cage and get away, to the
CONSERVATION of the whole household.
After a great search some one found
Polly in the garden on the top of an
apple-tree. The welcome news was
communicated to the Dean, who, with
the whole of the inmates, rushed out at
once, accompanied by DR.. Vaughan,
who with some friends was then on a
visit to the Dean. Polly was found
swinging herself on a topmost branch,
but when she discovered the large au-
dience below her, she looked gravely
down on them and said: Let us
pray
OF ALL manner of men, the negro
waiter is the most exacting in regard to
terms and definitions. For example:
| A gentleman breakfasting a morning or
two since in an uptown restaurant
| asked one of the colored walters for
some cold rice and milk. The waiter
said there was no cold rice and SO the
customer ordered something else. While
paving for his breakfast the customer
observed large dish OF rice on the
sideboard. He mentioned to a clerk
that waiter had just told him there
was none. The waiter, on being called
to an account for this, became all eyes
and teeth in one expanded grin, and
spoke thus: "Cole rice? That amt
cole rice; that's cole billed rice. Gem
man ask for cole rice"
| A MISSIONARY tells the following story
One day trader chief came TO Join my
church with his two wives-one old and
ugly. the other a handsome young
negress.
"That will never do," cried; "my
religion allows a man but one wife
Choose one for the partner OF your Joy'
and sorrows, and make suitable provi
sion for the other"
They all went away, looking very
crestfallen. A week or two afterwarc
the old chief came back, leading the
young pretty one, both looking yer,
"Me come back" he said, "me al
ready now"
"That is right" said |, and pray how
have you disposed of the other wife p
"All right" he said, "me eat he'
up
The rector of Wootton Bassett was
the happy husband of wife very lady
like and very lovely, but very. deaf
There was dinner party at the rec
tors; the ladies had arisen and gone tc
the drawing-room. A Mr.. Hare, one o.
the gentlemen, followed them before
his companions, and CHANGING to enter
the room very duietly-as hare may
be supposed to step-a lady, behlne
whom he stood and whom he had enter
tanned at dinner, observed to the rector
deaf and ladylike wife mot knowing, o
course, who was behind herr: 'What
a very agreeable man Mr.. Hare isl The
hostess thought it was her room anc
not her company that she had hearc