Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-02-23
Inside the Post once

lfYoa were to approach the genera
delivery window of the New York Pos
Office, ana inquire of the clerk the rate
of postage, he would say: "For all do
nestle letters, three conts per hal
ounce for samples of merchandise, two
cents tor every four ounces; pamphlets
and newspapers the same (: circulars two
cents each.o
This is the information we received one
rainy day, when we were favored with q
few moments conversation with clerk
who, happening tn know US, invited MS
in.
"Taks n chair said he. at is a lit
tie against the rules, but then l don't
think there cGn be any objection in
your case
NYea, sir. we have nj sorts Of people 70
deal with, and all kinds of Questions to
answer. We are presumed to be the ser,
wants of the peoele,. and there are some
who never fail fotuske as aware Of the
relation rbey think should exist between
thom as masters and ns as sersants
Every body who comes e. our window
expects a letter, whether there is one
for them or not,Rnd We don't sztiefy
his demands imA9sdiAtdlFy we are looked
upon as hAvi~g 10 some way !peAectedl
our duty, and are treated accordingly.
Some of our cnstomessl are conuented
with one letter aTday, While others de-
ntand two or thfee9SOf course the more
foolish Of the disAppoiateR oheAimagine
that We have entered into some kind Of
conspiracy to cheat them out of their
co~rrespond0Hce.
I'VE have got q class of people that
we call old timsrs.' I lave been IN the
Office several years, and am familiar with
most of our regular CUSTOMERS have
get . t1east . hundred callers, whOssfaee
| have seen, when on duty, at leaat t6Fea
times Q day for nearly five years. No,
sir their correspondence 10 not large ;
in fact, some of them never get any let
ters. i have got q man who, l think,
is not in his right senses, who has call
ed to see me at least twenty times a day.
Sundays excepted for-the past ak
months. He seemsa perfect maniac on
the subject of letters, and L have never
found one for him yeti The way he ma
%noeuvres is quite amusing. When hes
first approaohss the window in the mora
ing, he comes up inR business-hkS way
In all his calls afterward he seeks to dis
guise himself. Somstimes he pulls his
coat collar up and draws his bat down
over his eyes. Sometimes he squints
terribly to deceive mo, and, If that won't
work, he ties handkerchief partly over
his face, and all because he wants to as
sure himself that | rave not made some
mistake in looking E.. his letters.
$40 be sure we MAKE mistakes some@
times, bat are generally very careful II
10 Toe our interest to be so. We would
maeh rather people would get their let
tars the FIST time they call. II saves us
trouble. A mistake occurred = few
weeks since that gave me much pain.
II was more an accident than . nistake,
as YOU will see. A young lady oalIed 10
inqui. e for . letter for Miss o. Sullivan
10 Sullivan, with the a~postrophe. az ]
supposed, Iooksl in the O'SaliiVan
box, but found no letters tor her She
called many days, when Uae day, she fell
fainting at the window, and | found out,
by seeing n report of the case in the
morning papers. that her name was Olive
from her brother, who was in the army,
want of WHICH, being q stranger in The
city, she had nearly starved 20 death
SOTO John 0iRourke, who hns gone
To ireland, Waterford, town aud
county.
He got hiAl money 20 60 home
BY nim~bayjamPinR the bounty.
This soliloquy is not ba3&
"'To reach, or not to reach its destina-
ton
That's the question concerning tins
Whether Ills nOb'er in the mind to
bear
The outrageous robberies Of post of;
flee clerks,
Or to Arre.t tAsm-te shse,; 20 pull
And by pulling to say we bring to
grief
The aforesaid clerks, and shut pan
On the thousan ; and one natural ways
They ave of stealing.
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be
wished" ems
"Here are some impromptu lines thai
probably reached THEN destination- Ia
fact, odd or badly written addresses sell
dom fall, as more careful attention is
given them:
:" Heavens and earth Who sknaw We hui
what
This letter MAJ nor reach herl- -,
II il s. ould taiL, I may bewail =
Ny love for that fair creature.
Dear clerk, / know that this will go,
II ! am at all lucky,
To Mary Sheen, of Bowling Green,
In the State of old Kentucky
Here is . note written in pencil on 81
er velope:
"'To THE WORTHY PosFaAsFEi OF NV
YoRK- SIR :+If you have clustering II
your mind any happy memories OF youth
you cannot fail 20 recollect the deligh
the receipt your first letter gave you
This is to a maiden who. l have ever,
reason to believe, if she gets IL. win en-
Joy the sensation of receiving her frs
epistle. Please appreciate the circam'
stances aud see that il is delivered
"Some of tine pcetical addresses are
little blind Still, they can usually be un
derstood. Here is one on q newspapel
which was sent to PhilAdeIphia:
"'Speed to Johnnie Hill,
In the Quaker city Phil,
Such is the writer's will,
Kind sir, his rust fulfill
"Here is an address written for the in
formation of clerks f4n
" cDo not stop this. lis to my brother
He lives in Portland, State of Maine
His name is John, his Surname MArther
No money does thispote contains
9Th se lines, written at the corner @
an envelope, contain q pretty broad in
sinuatioh:
"FTeu me net, in mournful number
! That life Is but an empty show,
And that thieves the post eneumberI
And monied letters ne'er can CO.
, THIS note, oRer the address Of letter
: : was evidently penned by soue Wicke'
: young ladyi
"'Will the clerk look the man who in
CURES Tor this square in the face, and Sc