The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-02-25
VARIOUS ITEMS.

4 Louisville girl whose lover called
every morning, and stayed all day and
long into the night, became discouraged
at SO much attention, and concocted
plan to getrid of him by asking to help
move the piano up stairs, and after that
was done, changed her mind and had
nun help move it down. She kept on till
she had removed all the furniture in the
mouse seven times, and he didn't see the
poiht but the other night in despair,
~l9u ne called she threw pail Of water
on nun from the window. He says he
Eau pace any confidence in women, and
mas presented a bill for removing furni.
.ure. True love never did run smooth
by water power.
ne disguised drains, falsely called |
medicines, sold in bar~rooms as ..tonics',
ana sloinaehics have nothing in common
with DR. W ALKER,s VEGETABLE yINE- /,
GAR BITTERs. That famous iuyiaorator
does not owe its stimulating properties to
| fiery and adulterated Alcohol, but to med
/ icinal roots and herbs never heretofore
| combined. The effects of the bitters in
cases 0! constitutional debility, chronic
/ indigestion, liver complaint, and all dis
eases tending to consumption, is SO mar
vellous that except to those who have
felt or witnessed it, the result seems in
| credible.
A South Bend (Indiana) man married
a girl on sight, and for few weeks she
made it lively for him, holding semi
weekly clawing soirees, from the effects
of which he became nearly bald. Return
ing from work ono noon, lately, he was
set back by finding the carpet torn to
shreds, the stove tipped over and furni-
ture smashed, and note from his tender
spouse, saying .she could get on as well
without her, and that she had left mat
ters in good condition for him to keep
on housekeeping" A vein of delicate
irony which he didn't appreciate cents
/ worth.
Aesy- 81 900 reward is offered by the
proprietor of DIR. Pierce's Alt. Ext. or
Golden Medical Discovery for medicine
that will equal it for which It's recon-
mended, among which are "Biliousness,"
or ''Liyer Complaint, constipated. bowels
impure blood, scrofulous diseases. Erup-
tions, Pimples, Blotches, Boils and severe
and lingering Coughs, Bronchitis, Con-
sumption in its early stages and nervous
and general debility Sold by druggists.
A party of gentle white youths in San
after learning in the public schools that
the C.ucaslan race was the first that
assembled from the apish condition, sailed
forth and proved their origin from the
brute creation, by pounding u small
Chinese child with stones and sticks until
he was insensible. 1t is clear that these
boys are Dot yet wholly emanci pated from
the gorilla stage. Will somebody eman-
= +t1ir ba,
One of the stylish weddings in Boston
this season was that of Miss Louise b.
Rogers, daughter Of the late Colonel
Rogers, OF the Boston Journal, and T. G.
Stanwood. The bride has Just come in
possession of $500, 900, and she purchased
house on Columbus avenue and elegant
ly furnished it.
A monument to ex-President Pierce
has been erected at Concord, ". Ii. 1t
is Of the finest Italian marble, 15 feet
high, topped with cross. The plinth
bears the name Of "Piercc' in raised
Roman letters, and on the die is Frank
lin Pierce, born Nov. %, 1904, died
Oct. 8. 1867
1t is rumored that Gov Haight will
call an extra session of the Legislature to
secure the repeal of the bill creating a
's:State Paper" The Reporter had bet
ter be circumspect, or ruin will overtake
it, assuredly.
Worth, the noted man-miliiner Of Paris
talks of taking up his. abode IN New York,
as he thinks he can make more money
there than anywhere else.
To exterminate the Apaches by war is
the only course to permanent peace with
them, III the opinion Of Governor Stafford,
Of Arizona.
The latest fancy Of Miss Flora Me-
Fiinscy is to indulge. in albums Of locks
of hair, wherein are paraded fer public
inspection the trophies Of her coquettish
eonquests. It's sort Of stylish sscalp-
belt"
A candidate for Mayor of Georgia
town said he would spit in any man S face
who called him Radical lie was as
good as his word, and lis widow finds
mourning very becoming to her.
DR.. Pollon, French physician, says
cold can be cured by inhaling harts-
horn. The Inhalation by the nose should
be seven or eight times in five minutes.
Secretary Robson is having Is inch
guns made at Providence, at d cost of
$4,000 each, to ride on the battery
Colossus, now in construction at New
York
OF pride there are two kinds-the one
like velvet, magnificent, fit for queen to
wear, the other like vclvetcen, shabby,
make bel linve imitation.
Watertown, Wisconsin, has rival to
Tom Thumb in the person of a boy Is
years old, who IS 2S inches high and
weighs 10 pounds.
David Lyman, of Middle6eld, Con-
necticut, who died recently, held life
insurance policies to the amount of $780,
900.
There are fifteen newly married coup
los raci,i;nf, on one street in peoria Til