The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-04-01
MEAN WHISKY.


Early in the history of the State of Geor-
gia, one of the Circuit Judges was Bella
Brown, an ancestor of the recent "secesh"
Governor of that name He was a man of
ability and integrity, but like a good many
distinguished persons of that day, and even
this, he loved a social glass; and whenever
a member Of the bar would turn in and help,
be sometimes drank to excess and became
gloriOus!y fuddled On one occasion, while
travelling on circuit, he reached the village
Of Dayton, Dooly county, where the court
was to be opened next day, and took quar-
ters with a relative of his wife, that lady ac-
companying him. After supper, Judge
Brown stroiled over to the only tavern in
the place, kept by one Sterritt, where he
met q number Of his legal friends. A con
vivial evening was passed, drinks frequent
" passed round, and somewhere about mid
night the Hon. Bella was in a state of mind
the reverse of that implied by the old say
ing, "sOber as a Judge" When he was
leaving for home, young lawyer, in a spirit
of mischief, slyly passed some spoons from
the tumtlers into the judges pocket On
dressing himself the next morning, the &c
centric official putting his hand into his
pocket was greatly perplexed in discovering
three or four silver spoons in his pocket
My God Polly" said he to his wife,
Just look here; ! believe I've stolen all of.
Sterritt's spoons"
Lets see them,' says his wife. ''Yes,
sure enough-here's his vcritable initials
Pray, how did you happen to have them in
your pocket"
Il think l must have been drunk when |
came home, wasn't p inquired the Judge,
"Yes," replied the devoted Polly; you
know your old habit when you get among
those lawyers"
"Certainly; l can understand easy
enough how it all came about. That fellow
Sterritt keeps the meanest liquor in the
State, but I never supposed that to drink it
would make a man steal"
The spoons were duly returned to the
landlord, and the Judge went and opened
his court thinking no more of the matter.
Several days elapsed, and the business of
the court was drawing to a close, when one
morning rough looking customer was ar
raigned before his Honor for larceny He
pleaded guilty, but said in mitigation that he
was drunk al the time he committed the of
fence,
"What is the nature of the charge against
the man ?" asked Judge Brown.
Stealing money from the till at Sterritt s
TAVERN replied the Clerk.
young map, said the Judge, solemnIy,
are you sure you were intoxicated when
you took this money ??
"Yes, yer Honor, was so jolly drunk
that things looked like they was dancing
double shuffies; ana when went out doors
the ground kept coming up and hitting me
on the head
THAT will do" replied the 5udge, "but
tell me-did you get all the liquor you
drank at Sterritt's p
every drop of it, your Honor.
And so you got tipsy on his liquor, and
then stole his money!
That's it, exactly; l didn't know what
was doing"
Turing to the prosecuting attorney, the
worthy Judge said: ''This is a most extra
ordinary case, demanding the clemency OF
the court. You will therefore do me the
favor of ofentering a noU PROSE- That liquor
of Sterritts, have reason to know, is mean
enough to make man do anything dirty.
got drunk on it myself the other night, and
stole all of his spoons. If Sterritt will sci
such abominable stuff, he ought not to have
the protection of this court. You may re
lease the prisoner, Mr.. Sheriff"