Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-12-28

| When it's a-arift
cash up CITY or no-,So." is the name
of a new town in The oil regions
Among the last thing out in pathen-
/ cal song are Nv Dariing's Shoes. Ihey
are out ST the toes.
To encourage etteref1oris next lime,
Detroit fined u man five dollars the oiaer
DAY for trying to commit suicide.
When Young man complains bitter
| IN that a Young lady has no heart, II Is q
pretty sure sign that. she 1t least has has
Why are washerwomeu the silliest OF
neonle Because They put out their tubs
to catch soft water when it rains hard.
-Boariinr-sehool Miss on, Shariie,
expect to graduate ST neNt co.nl u, l..
| meat Graduate ma. VII sou
! vrasuate in ~ WHY. III white tuiie
A "sweIl.- in drawing-room want
inr his servant. called out, heIe i
thai blockhead of mine aWN Iei'iieu'
On your shoulders, sir
An exchange having received poems
entitled the Throbbing Brain, ana the
/ q Bleeding Heart concludes TO wait Tor
the Aching stomach before publishing
either.
A Herkiu,er county q. " Judge de-
livers an opinion that the first passenger
ear on each train is, by presumption, the
smoking car and should be 80 labeled
A model bill. made out by an old
farmer against his neighbor, reads as toll
lows: @Neighbor A, DR.. 10 b. to hoss
and Vaughn. coin 10 mill. once since and
twice before, four shillings'
a thoughtful Danbury lady puts lard
on the stoop when she wants her husband
to STAY home of an evening. Barring an
hour or so devoted TO rubbing his back,
the time is pleasantly occupied
old lady to her niece" Good gra-
rions Matilda but It's cold. Ny teeth
arr actually chatteringr = Loving niece:
well. don't let them chatter too much,
or they may tell where you bought EN-.
a gentleman having just lost his wife
visited a friend, and, being asked now
! long he would remain in town, answered !:
| :. oh. for about fortnight-long enough
TO spend the honymoon of my widow
hood !"
Tom and Arthur have been rude to
| their mamma. Mamma has complained
/ 10 papa. who is heard coming up stairs.
Arthur say. Tom, here comes papa
J shall pretend to be asleep" Tom
shan't-I shall get up and put something
on
I A Young lady was recently sent by OK
press from California 10 Maryland. The
+ messenger who had her in charge was so
+. pleased with his freight that he offered to
{ carry IL back and forth all the time at his
own expense.
1T is the style nowadays when an en-
racement is broken off for the lady not
& ~ hay Gr
| dantse. or even the engagement ring,
which they keep as an lndiap keeps a
scalp, as a trophy OF former victories.
M Devergie, a French chemist, finds
tina, water containing only one four-thou-
sandth of its weight of carbolic acid SUI
| feed for the disinfection of the " dead
house in Paris during the hottest
weather, when it contained six or seven
bodies.
-" Neighbor Twist, you told me when
I paid Tom Doolittle in advance on his
promising to work for me in having time,
that should find him as good as his
word" That's truc-for always knew
his tSord ras good for nothing"
A wag at ball in Louisville recently
substituted thin slices of soap for the ham
in the sandwiches The company were
immensely hungry, and took a huge bite
/ ali round, but no one liked 10 say any
thing about it for fear of being laughed
at.
A man who was told by physician
that his wife had cancer, borrowed a
book in order to read upon the subject
himself: after which he remarked TO the
physician that he did not think his wife
+, had cancer; .'her symptoms were more
those of diagnosis, and If she had that, it
would kill herl''
i A genius from Quincy, Ill. sent a
4 letter TO the Secretary of the State of
Ohio asking il he would not look over
the census returns and see if Gordon Ar
mold. from New York, wasn't in Ohio.
| The inquirer politely enclosed three
cent stamp As the request involved
1 looking over some three million names the
7 Secretary hasn't yet made up his mind TO
/ undertake the task
Sponge paper, an article recently pat
en,ei i'm France. is fabricated by adding
! to ordinary paper pulp evenly and finely
divided sponge, and by means of the or
binary paper-making machinery the mix
iure is worked into sheets of different
/ thickness As this paper absorhs great
/ deal of moisture and holds il for long
( time, il is capable of important technical
applications. In dressing wounds it has
! been used with considerable advantage
This il. the official report of Cali
/ fornia vigilance committee 8 We, the
| five hundred enigrants, quietly marched
10 the Justices Court and demanded the
| prisoner. They refused to give him up.
| We, the Eve hundred emigrants. took him.
! tried him. condemned him, and hung him
ON the same tree he had murdered his
victim under. Farewell, vain world,
were his last words, as the mule walked
away and left him there We, the FIVE
hundred emigrants, followed the mule. !"
/ Mr.. Court, who has been addressing
large open air meetings in Edinburgh,
evinces the happiest tact in parrying off
| drunken interruptions from victims over
the way. A very drunken fellow inter-
! rupted him by asking: what would
/ you substitute for the poor mans drink
Substitute r said Mr. Court, II would
substitute that shocking bad hat you wear
with Better one-that shabby coat on
your hack with better one-a miserable
meal of food which you take, with good
one-and would substitute your present
| ignorance with useful informationn The
L. IL y.