Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-03-25
GATHERINGS by TIE WAYSIDE.

Either have mind enough to speak
well, or judgment enough to keep silent.
Seventy three thousand horses were
slaughtered and eaten in Paris during the
siege.
An inexperienced farmer tried to make
corncd beef by giving his own oxen whis-
key.
Why is pig with a twisted tail like
the ghost of Hamlet? Because it could
tail unfold.
In game of cards, good deal de-
pends on good playing, and good playing
on good deal.
An old topper being requested to define
hard drinking, said: ut is sitting on
rock and slipping cold water"
"A Chinese thief having stolen mis-.
sionary's watch, brought it back the next
day to be shown how to wind it up.
An Iowa school teacher, a woman, :,
has been discharged for forcing big boy
to show her how he kissed the girls in the
wood house.
A cotcmrorary ungallantly makes the
observation that tho leading champions of
women's rights" are generally found to
DO mems lefts."
"A witty writer says: "Lawycrs and
clients remind me Of tho two rows of pco-
pie at fire; ono passing full buckets and
tho other empty ones"
In the St. Joseph County Court, In
diana, lately, there was case in which a
wife of eighteen was divorced from hus-
band Of eighty. They had lived together
four weeks.
-" Did any Of you ever sec an elephant
skim" inquired u teacher of an infant
class. II have, exclaimed one. "Where ?"
asked the teacher. Goa tho elephant" !"
said the boy.
-Appropos of the effects of diet of
horsefesh, excuse is being found for the
Paris National Guards, who ran away at
Creticl, on the plea that they had lately
been fed exclusively on race.horses.
-Itis remarked as singular occurrence
that since Theodore Tilton retired from the
Independent, two religious items have crept
into its columns some way or another. In
making up large paper great care has to
be exercised, or such errors will occur.
"A Pennsylvania editor having stated
that there was man in the place who had
been drunk thirty.fvo years, was called
upon by twenty different persons, who de-
manded q retraction, each one insisting
that the intent was personal attack.
Josh Billings says: "a man who can
draw New Orleans molasses through half
inch auger hole in January, and sing
Home, Sweet Home while the molasses
Is running, may have clear conscience,
but be amt sudden enough for the year
1870.
Two one.armed soldiers were arrested
in New Haven, lately, for selling backing
without license. One of the soldiers re-.
ceived nine bullets in his body in front of
Petersburg, ono of which entered his
windpipe and almost deprived him of
speech.
.-Thackary tells of an Irish woman beg
ging Of him, who, when she saw him put.
ting his hand in his pocket, cried out !:
May the blessing Of God follow you all
the days Of your life"-but when he pulled
out his snuff-box, Immediately added
"and never overtake you"
-"Why do you show favor to your en-.
emies, instead Of destroying them ?" said
chieitain to the Emperor Sigismund. "Do
not destroy my enemies by making them
my friends p was the Emperor's noble re-
ply: Kindness is the best weapon with
which to beat an adversary.
The following is the conclusion of an
epltaph on tombstone in East Tennessee !:
"She lived life of virtue and died of
cholera morbus, caused by eating green
fruit in the full hope of blessed immor.
tality, at the early age Of 2l years. 7
months, and IL days. Reader, 60 thou
and do likewise.