Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-04-13
CURRENT ITEMS.


Adam
GEORGE CALAMITY is the name of
Rhode Island burglar.
LIZ time is money! how rich the world
ought to bel
A CORN DEALERS capital is like carpet,
when it's in grain
THE BEST MARRIAGE GRT-A policy
in the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
THE right kind of timber for castles in
the air-Sunbeams.
THE Augusta (Me) Journal speaks of
raising pigs as "hogriculture."
EVERY member of the Washington Life
Insurance Company is interested in its
success
WHY is young lawyer like the national
and somewhat green.
NEXT to the mitrailleuse, the most kill
ing thing nowadays is druggists mortar,
managed by an inexperienced clerk
"CHARLEY," said fond mother to her
son, "you are into that jam again" No."
replied the little pet, you are wrong, ma;
the jam is into me-"
A YOUNG fellow has been convicted, at
Junction City, of forging railroad passes
on the Kansas Pasifc, and sentenced to
six months imprisonment.
A PARsoN reading the funeral service at
the grave, forgot the sex of the deceased,
and asked one of the mourners, an Eme-
raider, ais this a brother or sisterf
Neither" replied Pat, "only cousin"
A MAINE farmer, whose hog, while at
large on the highway, alarmed horse.
and thus caused young lady to be thrown
from a carriage, has been ordered to pay
the injured woman s., ,S33 damages, after
trial lasting three days
A BOSTON paper speaks of a young man
in that town who is wrestling with his
first mustache, and proposes to name 1t
after two leading baseball clubs. " because
there are nine on side"
A FISH was lately caught in the Des
Moines Qowa) River, which had grown
through a glass bottle with the bottom
out The central portion of the fish was
compressed, eacn end bulging until extrac-
ton was impossible.
A RESTORED invalid was asked by an
acquaintance, who had not. seen her for
years, and who was struck by her healthy
appearance, what had produced so great
change. " L stopped fretting, and took to
/ laughing" was the answer.
CALIFoRNIANs report that many of their
small birds have been shot or poisoned,
and that, seemingly as q consequence,
many kinds of insects, before unknown or
unobserved, have abounded in the coast
valleys, and have done much injury in the
gardens, vineyards and grain fields.
A CHURCH deacon at Msuch Chunk, Pa,
had package come to him by express,
&C. o. D." and he went around among
the brethren and borrowed forty dollars to
pay for it, and the next day nice little
pile of sawdust was emptied out in front
~. hau ha
the most regular man they have at prayer
meeting.
| The Scientific american has the cheer
full news for bankers and business men,
/ that il is now impossible to construct
burqlar-proof safe-for the thief with his
cylinders of compressed hydrogen and
oxygen, can, in a few seconds, burn holes
of any size in the hardest metal-his fire.
drill enabling him, in few minutes, to
work his way into the strongest safe that
was ever constructed"
A FARMER near Newport, r. l., is
credited, by Col. Waring, in the American
| A0ricul urist, with having kept an average
of twenty head of cattle on pasture con-
tanning twelve acres. From his little farm
of little over twenty-six acres this farmer
last year sold $3,75S.42 worth of produce.
The largest items were: S795.95 for milk;
1857 25 for potatoes; $685. for calves
some of which were bought when very
young and fatted for veal-S234 tor pork.
THEY tell the story of a Tennessee law
yer who, recently married to widow, fell
asleep the other day IN the court room,
and was suddenly awakened by the men
ton ofthe lady's first husbands name by
one of the members of the bar. Springing
to his feet, he exclaimed: "Whatl whati
YOU shan't have herr This, of course,
astonished the court, and he blushingly
explained that he was dreaming, and
thought B was coming back to take
his wife from him
JANEsvIILE, Wis, is noted for ifs smart
bows. The latest story is told of youth
of six summers who was taken to task by
his aunt for some supposed ofense, which
he persistently denied. "Now, Johnnie,"
said she, "I know you are not telling me
the truth: i see it in your eye" Pulling
down the lower lid ofthe organ which had
well-nigh betrayed his veracity, johnnie
exultantly replied, You can't tell any
thing about it, aunt; that eye always was
little streaked."
THE latest English device is mustache
supporter, and consists essentially OF
comb curved into the form of the upper
lip, and a narrow plate connected to the
back or unperforated part of the comb, and
|
comb is placed under the mustache, the
narrow plate being situated in horizontal
plane, and constituting a small screen or
guard on which the moustache is sup
ported in the required position. Young
gentlemen should be duly grateful to Eng
land for this valuable invention.
A SACRAMENTO (Cal.l gardener has
found, in turning up an old hOt-bed, a pet
rified peach, which being struck by his
spade, was split in half The tibres OF the
fruit are said TO appear as perfect as in the
natural state, the pit being In the same
condition. The Sutter tCal) Banner says
that the body of boy, recently disinterred
there, was found TO be petritied- The
head, face, neck, hands and body all re-
tanned their original FORM
Four years since lady in Philadel-
phia accidentally forced her right hand
through a window while engaged in clean
ing it, and was severely cut The injury
was dressed, and fragments of glass ex-
tracted. The hand healed, but continued
10 be painful, and recently the lady ap-
piled to a surgeon for relief An incision
was made on the back of the hand, oppo-
site the old wound, and a piece OF glass
one inch in length and three-eighths IN
width discovered, so firmly imbedded
among the ligaments that it had to be dis
sected out.
4 FEW days since, at High Prairie, near
Leayenworth, Kansas, while John Cell
was engaged in cleaning out well, the
walls caved in and buried him. 1t was
supposed that he was killed, and the pro-
cess of digging him out was not hurried.
Five days after the accident he was
reached, and found to be alive. As soon
as he was taken out he declared himself all
right. He drank a glass of whisky, ate
some food, and smoked a pipe of tobacco /;
but several hours afterwsrd he commenced
sinking, and soon died.
Two PICTURES
An old farmhouse with meadows wide,
And sweet with clover on each side;
bright-eyed boy, who looks from out
The door with woodbine wreathed about,
And wishes his one thought all day
"Oi if could but fly away
| From this dull spot, the world TO see,