Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-01-07

, q If Ave aud half yards make Pole,
how many will make Turk ...5,
What is better than promising young
man! Apaying one.
old maids are described a. "cmbers
from which the sparks have fed"
"A dandy on shore is disgusting to
many people but swell Of the sea sckeus
everybody.
A little girl being asked, "What is
nothins?" replied, "Shut your eyes and
you'll see it." -.
..- AS Colfax had Nelly Wade, why
didn't he have her uuclo weighed also :!
Because he's Ben Wade. ..I
3: A scapegrace remarked that "thc prin-
cipal branch Of education in his school was
willow branch, and that his master had
used up whole tree" l#.',.-
-" Sambo, why am dat niger down in
che hold of the boat like chicken in de
egg - "Cause be wouldn't get out if it
wasn't for dc hatch"
Russia Furnishes drunkards by making
them sweep the streets. What a sight it
would be if the same punishment should
bc inflicted on the unfortunate victims of
the intoxicating cup in this country
Party who has brought back the mu-
sic tail in disgust" Locke ere, Mr..
Auc;ionccr, this plaguy thing amt no man.
ner OF use at all. I've twisted un round,
AMI oil woman ave twisted un round, but
sorra bit Of tune can We get ou, of uu."
A man Of sasacity being informed of
serious quarrel between two Of his female
relatives. asked the person IL in their quar-.
rels either had called the other ugly On
receiving an answer in the negative. he
said. "Oh, then, shall soon maize up the
quarrel" s
Three gentlemen being in coffee.
house. one eallci for dram, because he
was hot. Bring me another" says his
com,,nion, "because I am cold" The
third, who sat by and heard them, verv
quietly cillel ont, +" Here, boy, bring me a
glass, because Ike it,"
Pope dining once with Freicrick. Of
Wales, paid the priacc many CON pli,aes,s.
Il wonder. Pope, said the prince, " that
you, Who are so severe on kings, ahould be
% comp.-scnt to me-" at is," said the
willy bard, " because like the lion before
his claws are grown."
-" Hyson" means "before the rains !"
Tyson skin is composed Of the refuse Of
other kinds of ten, the native term Of which
is tea skins; B,he," is the name of
the hills On which the plant is grown !:
"Peeoe" means white hsllk the down Of
teadsr leaves; f" Souehong" small plant !;
Twaukey" is the name of a small river in
the region whence ID is brouyht :. Congo"
is from term signifying labor. for the
care reqsired ia its preparation.
The Canadian telegraph. are entitled
to the credit or having discov cred how an
earthquake travels. At Minousti, when
the late earthquake vas made known 20
the operator there, he as once asked the
oaebee man how he felt. The shock bav.
Ing arrived just as the latter wa. about 70
answer: u eausei him to change his mind.
and ask the Montreal man. 200 miles fur
ther on, whe,her he had fe't il. The latter
had Just time to say Ma when the oesee
vas shaken to its foundation.
AN English writer speaks of Chin. :.
acoantry where the roses have no fragrance
and the women - pestieosts; where the
laborer has as sabbath. and the magistrate
No sense Of honor; where the roads bear
savshie'es. and the ships 20 kecls; where
Old uea ay kites; whore the needle points
to the sou'h. aud the siga Of being pussied
to scratch the aatipodss of t.e head !;
where the place Of hosor IL On the left
hasd. and the seat Of isssllses is in the
stomach; .hsrs 70 take od your hss % aa
sssSlsss gesture. and 70 vsas White r.r-
ss'" y TO put yourself 10 u.eursins |;
vsere there Is . h,esaaurs Without an
alphabet and = l.aza.ss vislsss gr.m-