The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-03-02
-"Belles" call great many people to church.

-"Belles" call a great many people to church.
Advice to children-lnind your mothers.
Advice to mothers-mind your children.
To keep warm on cold day, women dou-
BILE the cape and men double the horn.
Because horses are used to reins, it does not
follow that they are unaffected by wet weather.
"A Western editor represents money as
"close, but not close enough to reach"
- dIs molasses good for cough? inquired
man with slight cold. "It ought to be-"
was the reply; ''it is sold for consumption,
= The man who didn't believe in advertising
has gone into partnership with the sheriff, and
they are going to have an auction.
TO some men it is indispensable, to be
worth money, for without it they are worth notn-
ing.
"A young lady who has been practicing
"Let me kiss him for his mother" says the more
she tried it the better she liked it,
When a dog gets his head in fence, it is
unsafe to extricate him, unless you nave the
pleasure of his acquaintance.
There is no folly equal to that OF throwing
away friendship in world where friendship IS
so rare.
"A man in Mississippi recently killed his
bootmaker because his boots were not finished at
the time specified.
The next best thing to paying a pastor
large salary, is to pay him his small one prompt
- The late Daniel Webster is making con-
siderable reputation in Viennaas "the expound-
er of the American Constitution, and author
of an excellent dictionary,
"Steam" said DR.. Lardner, "is the great
annihilator-it annihilates time and space"
eyes" said another, "and multitudes OF passen-
gers, too"
upon the democratic character of General
| Sherman's receptions, says: Any gentleman
with paper collar and mittens on can go In.
- A box containing black bear was re-
ceived at an express Office in San Francisco the
other day with this inscription: "Black Bare.
Eff you don't want to git bit, keep yer fingers
outen the crax"
- The present style of mems hats is an exact
reproduction of the fashion of 1910. The present
scrambled style of ladies' head dress is of old
er origin, being the identical fashion which
prevailed before the invention of combs
- A man was once brought up before mag
istrate charged with marrying six wives. The
magistrate asked him how ne could be SO
hardened victim. "Please your worship,
replied the fellow, 'fI was trying to get good
one."
- There's moral taught by the following
conversation. which needs to be learned by
| MANY fathers. Said little four-year-od,-
| Mother, father won't be in heaven with US,
| will he?' "Why, my child?" Because he can't
leave the store"
"A young lady who affected disinclination
| to matrimony wrote upon pane OF glass some
verses expressive of her determination never
to enter into holy state. A gentleman who
| doubted the lady's resolve wrote underneath:
The fair, whose VOW these scratchy lines beoken,
| Wrote them on gass-she knew it would be broken
An exchange lets fly the following "Pul-
| verised alum and common salt put on piece
| of cotton and placed in hollow tooth Will shut
| up its aching so quick you will want to hug US
for telling you; but you can't unless you nave
certificate of good moral character, are mar
ried woman, and over twenty-five"
Six wears ago Grant said the people of
the South were all quiet and ready to peacea-
bly accept of the events of tho war. Now ne
says they are madly committing outrages OF all
| kinds upon loyal people. Is this compliment
to six years of Radical rule?
= An old bachelor editor thus, in his spite,
comments on recent moonlight night: we
left our sanctum at midnight last night, and on
our way home we saw a young lady and gentle
man holding gate on its hinges They were
evidently indignant at being kept out SO late,
as we saw them bite each other several times
= A Clergyman was once endeavoIiIig 10 ge'
a subscription in aid of some charitable lnstl-
tuition out of close-fsted parishioner, who at
tempted to excuse himself on the ground that It
he already owed great deal Of money. But"
said the minister, you owe God larger debt
than you do any one else.' "rhat is SO, par
son but then he amt pushing me, like the
balance of my creditors" -.
In e recent sermon in Cincinnati, while
speaking of the press, the minister said: "lt
does the practical thinking for q large portion
of our people They are too busy or too indo-
lent to do it for themselves, 50 they get man
to sit up nights, state the facts, draw the con-
clusions, and advocate theory for them, DO the
whole up in convenient package, and slip it
under the front door. In half an hour, while
they sip their coffee, they have not only learned
exactly what is going on in the world, but ex-
actly how they ought to think and how they
ought to feel about the mixed-up business in
this great, rushing world of ours"