The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-07-09
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
Stuck up-Show bills.
Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
A soft process-Feathering ones nest.
The needlewoman's exclamation-Ahem!
Cure for " brain on fre"-blow it out.
Forgers to be -Blacksmiths.
When flatterers meet, Satan goes to
dinner.
How was Jonah punished Whaled, of
course.
Orders in the Prussian navy-All Hans
on deck!
What do great liars do when they die.
They lie still.
A good business habit and reputation is
always money.
The cheapest and longest conveyance
A train of thought.
1t is not always he who has the most nose
who knows the most.
No class put more real feeling in their
vocation than pickpockets.
What Columbus did-A notion crossed
him, and he crossed an ocean.
WHY is a goose like a cows tail BE-
cause they both grow down.
Language was given us that we might
Va Ss~S'~ ~S>~~>'
"Good blood will show ITSELF" as the
old topper said, struck by the redness of his
nose.
| A cautious critic says Miss Kellogg sings
Home. Sweet Home, as if she lived in
hotel.
Love reposes at the bottom of pure souls,
! like a drop of dew in the chalice OF q
flower.
"why am intoxication like wash
BASIN" 49,,
Want of faith and want of patience
cause more failures than any thing else in
the world.
Nothing so much destroys our peace of
mind as to hear another express an inten-
; ton to give US piece of his.
Drink nothing without seeing it, sign
nothing without reading it, and make sure
that it means no more than it says.
Were we as eloquent as angels, we should
please some men, some women and some
children, much more by listening than by
talking.
young fellow, boastingly. every true"
r replied his waggish companion, "for you
, can't please any"
, "Johp," of the New York Sun, bet a
3 Rochester fellow that he could tell how
3 much water went over Genesee Falls, to 8
3 quart. He won the bet-two pints to
quart.
e This is the way in which irreverent Chi.
q cago announces great revivalist: "Elde'
Q Knapp. having converted three sinners ii
Q 1851, will rastle with the fiend mex
+. Sunday.
= "Sarn, you's learned in the law can 20,
y say if ole Lucifer was to lose his tail
. where would he go to find anoder one =
- - "Why, to de tabern of course, you igno
,. ramus-dat's de only place L knows OF
:, :, where dey retail bad spirits"
v One of Darwin's strongest arguments il
favor of his theory that man is decend
I ant of the monkey is that monkeys Away
It part their hair in the middle. 1t is q no
10 ticeable fact, however, thst monkeys nav
" quit it since it has became fashlopabl
,e among certain men.
t. A gentleman was seated with other pei
Of sons in a room where country girl 80
lie bolt upright and utterly silent. Silence, in
y deed, fell upon the entire party, and tn
gentleman first alluded to said in what b
a supposed to be an almost inaudible tone
rs voice, Awful pause7" "Well, Mister
ir jumping up, "you'd have awful paws, to-
IT, if you had to do the scrubbing that do
q, Fontenelle, at the age of ninety-seve
after saying many able and gallant thint
O. to the Young and beautiful Madame He
70. vetius, passed her once without perceivir
Vn her. "See," said she, stopping and az
k dressing him, chow ought to value yo'
ng callantries! You pass me without eve
looking at me !" g Madame" said the o
ed man, s9if had looked at you, / could n
up have passed"
ny Tho editor of journal published
o or Antwerp sent a reporter to Brussels for tt
Kings speech ana to win hack @ the
. ne speedily. At Brussels he gave the pigeo
.eI in charge to waiter and called for brea
Py fast. He was kept waiting some time, b
'nS very delicate fricassee atoned for t
OF oi delay. After breakfast he paid his bill al
10 70 called for his carrier pigeons. pigeons
len exclaimed the waiter, "why, you have ef
i,,' en- them"
too .--.- .