Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-12-03
THE JOSH BILLINGS EAPERS.
IrTTTnS

o06".-Man moral and phlslkll
life IL meia UP or bye laws, and
constitushnn, and if he will take
gooa~kare'ov the bye laws the con
stitushun will take kare ov itself.
The fewer bye laws man haz
the better, only hav them good, and
see to it that they are well exc
cuted.
| kno ov lots ov men who are all
bye laws, and no constitushun, and
then agin i kno ov sum men who
are all constitushun, and no bye
laws.
If l kant hav but one, Civ me the
constitushun.
Joha.-Flattery IL q very power
full stimulant, bat its CRATE strength
lays in being delikately admins
tered.
Thare iz sum men who will take
it az they do Aasty puddin and milk,
just gap, and swallow.
Honest fiattery stans in the same
relashun tew just praze that interest
duz tew money.
Every man IL entitled tew the in
terest on his mummy, and 7 per cent
ov iiattery wont hart emmy man who
IL honestly entitled tew the prin-
cipai.
Flattery alwus makes wize man
humble and kerful, but it haz the
same efek on phool that a band
ov nnsk haz on plough toss, the
fust time be hears it.
-Amos.-Doltors are not all ulaks
WI hav got rong noshuns abou:
this.
Doktors, lawyers, and ministers
hay hard row tew ho. they hav
tew deal With the krcdulity, knave-
", and fears ov the people, three ov
the most d;ffikult traits in human
natur tew handle.
IF i waz dok.er, and understood
mi Dizziness, i should doctor my
,oaSbunts, and Lex the disease take
knre ov itself.
More folks are kcrod this way
than emmy other.
It Gint much trouble tew doktor
sick folks, but tex doktor the well
ones IL b0tbcrsaIn.
IF waz lawyer would--quit
the Dizziness the fust good chance
! got.
If waz a minister, and had tew
preach the gospel tew mi people,
who.e religion, nine tenths ov them,
waz the result Ov their fears, and
who want willing tew Civ me but
four hundred and fifty dollars a
year, (hal; store ray, ana the rest
after harvest) i should resign mi
charge, and enter that field az
missionary.
Enoch.-Thare il nothing more
guss, tew young man, Just COM
'ew side down the hill ov
he, than too muteh inkred ility.
It IL better tew larn wisdnn hi
experience than b precept, and in
IL the chilli ov precept
Lhare il CRATE risk in being wize be-
fore our time.
When see yung man who il
suspicious ov every thing he sees, I
think he wants more watching than
one who amt afraid ov nothing.
Suspicion amt app tew make
man wize, but it haz made sum
dreadful Running kritters.
Cunning and innosense don't gro
Oh the same bush very plenty. but
if they do, one ov them IL the thorns,
and the other the flowers.
Luiher.-fhare il 2 things in
this world pesky hard to Go, and
nit yurs customers, one IL keeping
a distrikt skool, and the other IL,
being o mother in law.
Eny man, or woman, who kan
keep q district skool, and give gen.
eral sntisiackshun, amt good for
A good distrikt skoolmaster IL
Ike an undertaken, dreaded bi every
boldly.
1t takes o smart woman tew be q
successful mother in law.
/ don't think, from what kan
learn, that this IL good year for
mothers in law, hear a good deal
ov komplaint about them.
Thare IL only one way tew suck
ceed in the mother in law bizzness.