Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1871-11-11
Humorous.

don't TAKE \ NEwsP, ~~~~>-~.------~~,
OF ou.3 rclurn'n" iro'' .,PER. "A friend
n neighbo' ..., IA church stcpped into
h'"sa IS and found the mistress of the
.-,,.. d., scrubbiug.
Where have you becn?" asked the
scrubber
at church."
Not to-day were you ?"
81 80 to church every Sabbath. But
why are you scrubbing ?"
as this SUNDAY 2" Wall never! I
didn't know! Here, Sal, clean up the
floor. l told John that,'
Things being hastily arranged the unin-
territorial vioater of the Sabbath sat down.
What was the subject of the discourse. a"
He spoke Of the blessings Of peace and
blighting effects Of war; he referred to the
war in Europe, and the lives lost and the
miseries caused by it,"
"War in Europe! Did | ever! 4 War !!
Who's lighting? -
France and Germany"
LA me It's too bad ! Here's SUNDAY,
and Ididnt knowit; here's war in Europe.
and didn't know it ! And all bccause''-
here she leaned towards her visitor end
whiSpcrod-"J0'a dgat take the paUcr ~
~ to" common complaint" said the vis-
itor as he came away
Mr.. PENDLEToN having said in one of
his sophomoric speeches, that il was an an
pa!iing fact that there wasn't money en-
ou@h ~ the country by 100000, 900, to
Pay the taxes of the nation and States. if
the people were required to pay them all i'm
one day ; senator Morton rcp!ips ms fol-
lows IN his Cincinnati speech "Noll, now
tAat Is a tremendous thought; and il is a!-
- an appalling fact that it the people were
required to eat in one day all they now eat
IN the course ola year, they would incvita-
bly, burst"
\ drunken fellow with box Of matches
J. ms rocErt, lay down on the sidewalk i'm
MnscAllAe, The other day, to enjoy quiet
sAN'%e' While rolling over in his slrcu the
matches took fire, Awakening, lac snug,d
tte AIR suspicioUS!y, smult the burning
birthstone, aud cincultcd, just Qs
pccted in h-ll ,hic' by hockey"
"CAE you manage to give my son one Of
the priHes ~ Ushod a mother to Il t,-achcr
-" "''"3m." was the rcply.-"Your SON
WIZ slthd no chance; ne 0l.ti..,t. n, 49,.
sists IN idloncss.n "Oh, but tLcu." cx-
claimed the fond mamma, If that's so you
can gave him priza for Perseverance"
\ witty clergyman, accostod by an old
acquaintance hy the name Of Coob. "a.
l"ed ~ don't know ynu, siru "AIy.
name Is Cobb, "r r.iulned the man. who v...
an lnl h'll seas over "Ah, sir.lsaid the
minister, "you have SO much com ON ,ou
that dil not .o m. r,h."
A houNGsrER while perusing chautrr
ln ert' H's, turuus tp lla mother iuuuir,I
y the Z opla u5ed to do sUms on nc nr.u,l
u was discovered lhat hu had bc,n rtudlp,
me lhas1et, And the sons OF mru multi,
p'ied on 'he hce IT the ca4lh"
, Az lglshman, noticing lady pass down
tn' 'hs asfe,i espIei iva strips ,ependina
''' uN"et her mantle, Not kuoalug that
",ig ID Rag ,ashUs aud were hanelus
N ,N'lt llthl p.uDe, BE- exclaimed! tAn,
''''N' "' ana scr salluses aro luose 20 =
a young ady beeame 30 dissausa SEED with
h'i i.''' lNAt sAe dlsuist,d hlni. la rr.
wnts he ihitai utd to lulhsh lrr Ltt'r.
y, hinl' VERY weli,n tep.led tAs Ldv
hAte nn IratoR i0 Dc ashamed M IN A.
PAR "' 'Nf hlhp eAcfpi the addrt,s.u
puHlsa serles Of vet DAYS esnr..
~ l'HiIHd a. congratulate A.s unbr,ll.
i, =, uAs all,eD nsn. .lr.u he ID.
a.. IN - ihrre u noth.ns shais,,r
'''ns Va Iafasala.1