New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-07-02
John ON the Rail.


A Bohemian of the most reckless type
sends his experiences in Rochester to
New York city paper:
/ did not find the luxuriant cuss who
stole my watch on the Blocker street cars
in Syracuse, and Eearing that an awful
mean looking fellow had been seen in Roch-
ester, / went there. The watch was one of
Juggernaut's make, and | wanted it. On
the way to the depot in Syracuse real
nice little lap dog jumped over fence and
sprang at me. He weighed more than ten
dollars worth of coal at June prices, and
as | gazed down his mouth / thought of
Jonah. He remarked to me, Bow, WOW,
wow and / said to him in a pacifying way,
Nice Teaser, pretty little Teaser:, but
lady shouted, Rover, Rover-here Rover,
and he left me. Then she quietly informed
me that l needn't be at all frightened; the
dog had had his dinner, and wasn't hun
CRY.
| got into the cars and took seat in jux-
Imposition to female. That females face
was perfect insurance company Tor her
it insured her against ever getting married
to anything but blind man. Her mouth
looked like a crack in dried lemon, and
there was no more expression in her face
than there is in spinal column of a cup of
cold custard. She appeared as if she had
been through one famine and had got about
two-thirds through another. She was old
enough to be Observation-Disclosures to Mary
that had the little lamb. She was chewing
prize popcorn, and carried in her hand
yellow rose. while bandbox and cotton
umbrella nestled sweetly by her side. |
couldn't guess whether she was on mission
of charity or going West to start sawmill.
| was full of curiosity to hear her speak, so
l said
The exigencies of the times require
great circumspection in person who is
travelling
SAYS she, What"
SAYS /, The orb of day shines resplend-
ent in the blue vault above"
She hitched around uneasy like-tben she
raised her umbrella and said. Il don't want
none of your sass-git out" and got out.
Then | took seat alongside of a male
| fellow who looked like the ghost of Hamlet
| heightened out. He was stately cuss,
and he was reading
Said l. Mister, did you ever see camel
| leopard :" said camel leopard because it
| is a pious animal, and it never eats any
grass without getting down on its knees.
| He said he hadn't seen a camel leopard.
Then l said, DO you chew 2"
He said. "No, sir
Then said, How sweet is nature p
He took this for cOnundrum and said
she didn't know" Then he said he was
| deeply interested in the history OF great
man. Alas " he exclaimed, 1--WE have but
| few"
| / told him knew one; ''the man that made
| nv cooking stove was CRATE man."
! Then he asked me would read y
| Says l. "What you got "
He replied Watts Hymns, Reveries by
Moonlight and How to Spend the Sabbath"
| said. None of them for Hannah" but if
he had got an unabridged business direc-
tory of New York / would take a little
read.
Then be said, Young man, look at these
| gray hairs"
| told him | saw them, and when a man
got as old as he was he ought to dye. Said
/, You needn't think those hairs are any
sign of wisdom; it's only sign that your
system lacks iron," and | advised him to go
home and swallow a crowbar.
He took this for irony, and what little
entente c0rdiale there was between us was
spilled. 1t turned out that he was chap
lain to base ball club.
When we got to Rochester l called for a
bowl of bean soup. 1t ought to be called
lean SOUP send you the recipe for max
ing it TAKE lot of water, wash it well,
and boil it until it is brown on both sides;
then very carefully pour one bean into 1t
and let it simmer. If it won't simmer, pour
in water until it does simmer. When the
bean begins to get restless, sweeten it with
salt, then put it up in air-tight cans, hitch
each can to brick, and chuck them over
board, and the soup is done"
Genesee Falls are at Rochester. Sam
Patch made his last jump there. His jump
down was a success, but his jump up was a
failure, because he has never riz. | bet a
fellow that could tell to a quart how much
water fell over the falls in year. He bet,
and said two pints to quart. | won the
bet. They settle coffee with Goldfish skins,
but they settle Rochester with men and
women. The only original settler who is
living died few years ago. Rochester is
celebrated for it's fine turnouts. | saw a
very fine turnout today-a wagon upset
and spilled lot of women. Next Sunday
Sabbath. It is not kept wholly. Remem
Der me to the piece-makers. No ards"