The Portland daily press., 1871-10-31
How ,u Pick ont n Good Hos..
BY JOSH KILLINGS

bf JOSH BILLINGS.
Flrst.-Let the color be a sorrel, a roam, a
REQ, gray, black, blue, a green, a chest
nut, brown, dapple, a spotted. a cream q
buckskin, or some other good color.
Second.-Examine his ears; see that he ba,
got tew ears, and pound tin pan cluss tc
| him tn find out whether his hearing il good
| All hosses are dunn, but def and dunn hos;
are not desirable,
| Third-Look we'll tn his eyes see that be
| has got pupil in hiz eyes, and not too large
| one neither; hosses with too large pupils In
| their eyes are near-sighted, and kant see oats
and have to wear green goggles, and green
goggles make a hoss look too much like a
| trakt peddler.
Fourth Feel ov his neck with the inside
| ov yure right hand; see that the spinal col
lum IL well fatted, and runs the whole length
| oy him from fore TO aft-a hoss without n
| phatt spinal collum from fore to aft-aint
worth-(speakin sudden)-aint worth a well
| defined cuss.
Fiye-Put yure hand ON hiz breast, (tbis is
allowable in the kase ov a quadrped y see If
hiz harte kan beet 70; squeeze his fore leggs tn
see if he IL well muscled; lift up hiz before
feet and see if thare IL emmy frogs in them
frogs keep hosses feat kool and sweet. lest
az they du wei or spring ov water.
Six-Look wei til his shooze; see what
number he wares-number eight is about
right.
Seven-Run yure hand along the dividinv
ridge ov hiz withers tu the commencement OF
hiz tale Tor dorsul vertibra,) and pinch him a
yu go along, tn see if he nose how tu kick.
Eight-Look on his hind legs for sum spa
wins, kurbs, windgalls, ringbones, skratches,
quittors, thrush, grease-heels, thoroughpins,
springhalt, quarter-kracks; see eff he haz got
whirl-bope; look ror sum pin-hips; hunt for
stralns IN the back tendens, let downs, and
Nine-Investigait hiz teeth; see if he aint
foreteen yeers old larst May, with teeth filed
down, and a six-yeer-old black mark burn in
tn the top NV them with hot iron.
Ten-Smell of his breath tu see if he haint
got sum glanders; look just back ov hiz ears
for signs of pole-evil; pinch him on the top
ov hiz withors for fistula, and look sharp at
both shoulders for tweeny.
Eleven-Hook him tu a Wagon that rat
ties, drive him tu an Irishman and hiz wheel
barrow, meet rag merchant with cow-bells
strung acrost the top ov hiz cart, let an ex-
press train pass him at forty-five miles tn the
hour; when he is swetty heave buffalo robe
over him tew keep oph the cold, ride him
with an umbrel highsted, and learn hiz opin-
yum ov these things.
Twelve Prospekt his wind, sarch dill
gently fer the heeves, ask eff he IL roarer,
and don't be afraid tn find out eff he liz
whistler.
Thirteen-Be sure that he amt kirbbi-
ter, amt balky, amt weaver, and don't pull
at the halter
Theze are few simple things tu be looked
at in buying good family hoss; there liz a
great menny other things tu be looked at lat
yure lezure) after you have bought him.
Good hosses are skarse, and good men that
deal in any kind of hosses, are skarser.
Ask man all about his wife, and he may
tell 20. Examine his cluss fer Sunday
school teacher, and you will find him on the
square; send him tn the New York legisla-
ture, and rejoice that money wont buy him;
lend him seven hundred dollars in the high
way without witness or note; even swop
dorgs with him with perfect impunity; but
when you buy a good family hoss ov him,
young, sound and trew, watch the man cluss,
and make up yure mind besides that you Twill
hev tu ask the Lord tu forgive him.
An honest man is the nobest work ov
God;' this famous saying waz written, in
crate anguish of heart, by the late Alexander
Pope just after buying good family hoss. !