Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-02-25
GATHERINGS by THE WAYSIDE.


When maiden gets married she ends
a miss. .pcnt life.
North Carolina has widower of l43,
who is looking around.
TO young ladies-keep your eyes wide
open before marriage, but half shut after
wards.
What medicine are we reminded of
by mans beating his wife? Elixer Che
licks her.)
Making waist places glad-Putting
your arm around pretty girl Bring on
all your waist places.
"A Detroit paper accounts for the in
temperance Of a prominent Senator BY the
fact that he "was brought up on the bot
tle."
A paper has an article headed with
the conundrum, "Why do wives fade ?"
We suppose it is because they wont wash.
Isn't it?"
A Dubuque wife cannot hear any one
shout Gratis" without fainting. Whenever
her husband wants quiet evening he
yells the word in her ear.
-" Woman is de!usion," exclaimed
crusty old bachelor to witty young lady
And man is always hugeing some delu-
sion or other" was the quick reply.
-"Shc is a gem" remarked Mr.. Jen.
kinsop, speaking of his red.haired wife
Yes, a diamond of many carrats," was the
low rejoinder Of Jenkiusop's friend, Win
klesop.
Said killing" young man: "That
charming woman and myself are in sym.
pathy with each other" How so. my
dear fellow ?" Well, hate her husband
and she hates him too"
Old jesse Grant has spent the holi
days at the White House. He says the
Dents are getting more than their share of
tavors, aud he THINKS seriously of taking
up his residence at the capital perma.
nently.
Never trust secret with married
man who loves his wife, for he will tell
her, and she will tell her aunt Hannah,
and aunt Hannah will impart it as a pro.
found secret to all her female relations and
acquaintances.
A male tyrant in Chicago street car
made remark that a shrinking, down.
trodden woman didn't like, and she punch
'ed his head with an umbrella. Not being
his wife, they said she had no right to, and
put her of the car
The pernicious custom of furnishing
wine to callers on New Years Day was
Abandoned in Chicago by all the ladies,
and it had pretty good effect. The ladies
didn't furnish anything but whisky and
brandy. 1t was very quiet thereafter
they all got drunk.
"A foolish old bachelor saws Young
men, keep clear of calico if you want to do
anything great. Calico is baneful iusti.
tuition. A pair of sweet lips, slim waist,
and the pressure of delicate hand will do
as much to unhinge man as the measles
and the doctors bill to boot"
AT . convention Of spiritualists in
Vermont, the disciples declared, in effect,
contempt Of Christ, opposition to the Bi.
ole, and support Of free love to be cardinal
principles Of their creed. The people Of
the village where they met have since been
using lime to purify the air.
AT Fairmount, Va, school teacher
refused to treat the young ladies under bis
charge to five dollars worth of triukets
when they surrounded him aud ducked
MIN in neighboring creek. He agreed
that If they would let him out he would
buy them candy enough to kill the whole
party. Two have since died.
An Atlanta paper has the following
interesting paragraph: "a lady 10 thi.
cry tied her husbands hands and feet the
other day just for fun, snd then wen,
through his pockets for . certain billel
doux, and found it. His physician tell.
MN that his face won't be badly SCARED
'nough ne may remain perma ently bald ;