Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-09-07
a1sCRLLANEOUs.
Thestrongest kind of a hint-a young
lady asking gentleman to see if one
of her rings won't fit his little finger.

Inc strongest klnQ OF hint-a young
ady asking a gentleman to see if one
# her rings won't fit his little finger.
An alderman having grown enor-
nously fat while in office, a wag wrote
IN his back, "Widened at the expense
)f the. corporation,
A New York Tribune correspondent
las visited Aleck Stephens. and finds
hat his constant companion is a brin-
lie dog; There are some mighty mean
logs down South.
What did the king say, when inform
I'd by his officers of the confusion of
languages, at the Tower of Babel
sNiT for SSGy."
The potato bug throws up the sponge
in the presence of a Pennsylvania fly |
bearing the name thyridopterix ephe-
m@riformis.
a good little girl in Springfield cried
herself "almOst to deatho because she
forgot to thank man who had found |
her lost canary.
The Baptists have five churches in
Mexico with settled pastor in each
congregation. The number of COM
municans is reported at Ill.
Six new Presbyterian Churches have
been organized in the northwestern
part of the Presbytery of Texas within
the last fifteen months.
sAntie,n said little three-year old,
one day, "I don't lite mine aprons
tarched SO dreful. So mnch tarchnes5
makes the fitness tratch the bareness."
+. In decribing a new organ, a rural ed
itor says: 1.-THE swell died away in
delicious suffocation, like one singing a
sweet song under the bed clothes"
Josh Billings has issued supple
ment to his famous essay on the mule.
Here it is in full: s'The mewl is a
larger burd than the guse turkey; it has
tn legs tu walk with and tu more tn
kick with, and it wares its wings on
the side of its head"
Waterbury, Conn.,, has a Bachelors
League" whose articles of association
punish, by heavy fine, any member
being seen twice consecutively in COM
pany with the same woman, and with
expulsion from the order for the third
ofense. &
Aquarrelsome couple were discussing
the subject of epitaphs and tombstones,
and the husband said: "My dear, what
kind Of alstone do you suppose they will
give me what I die?' birthstone, my
love!" was the affectioneate reply.
An eminent gentleman of the liter
ary profession, spending the summer al
Newport, is said to have written the
following in Miss Nilsson's album:
/ LAS a Christian man to hear the blest am I,
I Butif were a bird of grief I'd dieI''
+ A New Orleans paper says that Mrs
Gaines reply to the suit OF Caleb Cush'
ling to obtain fifty thousand dollars from
her for services rendered as her attorn
ey at law, is to the effect that he ha:
collected rents upon her property more
in amount than he is entitled to. She
lclaims the balance. no ~ q
r George Alfred Townsend says; "Thc
. difference between the Baltimore anC
, the Philadelphi girl is that the latte
: is always wanting something to eat ,anC
the former something to love. Tht
: Philade elphienne carries her young mai
: home with her and see that he is wei
i foddered. The Baltimorienne carrie
: him off for stroll and looks into hi
t. eyes. ~ dIJ
rAnaneedote is told of young lady Q
Harrisburgh, vino was recentl,
: Ion a riding excursion. The hors
2 commenced kicking, when sh
I in the most simple manner requests
her companion to get out and hold th
: horses leg or he might injure tn
! vehicle. -
u An importunate Alabama credito
r dunned a man in church, and got th
!, contents of snuff box in his face fo
e his pains.
OF what crime is a carvEr mos
7 guilty? 0fstealing his knife.
t LovR.-A little word within itsel
S connected with shovel and tongsa
l Theman who was filed with emc
y tions, hadn't room for his dinner.
' A lady calls the little memoranda
d her butcher sends in with the mea
v 'pencii, gs by the way
q Mrs. Partington will not allow TX
! to play on the guitar. She says he ha
: it once,when he was child and it a
4 ! most Killed him.
.sI A Philadelphia saloon keeps, accort
:, ing to- the placards, Bolloney, Sorses
n Pig sfeat, Oyster Supe, Sheap's tungs
" A.strange genius, in describing alak
in Minnesota, says it is so clear that b
= = looking intoit you can see them nj
u king tea in China.
# When isswater most liable to escape
= When It's only half tide.
dl Why is a girl not noun? Becaus
alas is an intejeetion. -
j y A ship may besaid to resemble To-
q as wood when it's in port.
e, An object of interest-Your depos
Ii in asavings bank.
= Why is a sword like beer? Becau
= it's no use till its drawn.
b; Diet for training base ball players.
d. Batter pudding. a
q lgI A bird of ill omen-a swallow
+ + brandy. ae -ra.-
Of QHHk 600