The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-02-28
Miscellaneous.

w hen It's loan (alOne)'
When is a black dog not a black
dog g?-When it's a greyhound.
A chime of bells in Milwaukee is in
scribed: ain memory of Minnie }
Hodge-weight 724 pounds"
Briny.-Young women often keep
their lovers by tears.-"Yes," says
Grumwig, Glove, like beef, is preserved
by brine"
A Califoria jury in a suicide case
lately found the following verdict:
1--WE, the jury find that the deceased
was fool.
Raped Up.-Physicians are pro-
verbally absent-minded, and the rea-
son is obvious-they are often raped
up in their profession.
To-morrow.--A French barber's
sign reads thus, Tomorrow the pub
lie will be shaved gratuitously." OF
course it is always Tomorrow"
Eot likely.-A Southern editor has
had his pistol stolen. He advertises
TO give the thief the contents, and no
questions asked, if he will return it.
An old lady heard about the strike
of the wire drawers in Worcester,
Mass, and said that ofall new tangled
things, wire drawers must be the queer
est.
A Chicago merchant caught some
body getting in his window, and
chopped off some fingers that he saw
on the sill. The burgling ceased,
soonly.
Sawdust pills, says an old physician,
would eifectually cure many of the
+, diseases with which mankind is afflict-
ed, if every patient would make his
own sawdust.
-Rulof, the murderer, condemned
to be hung at Binghamton, is employ
ing his time in writing essays to a pa
per in that city on the subject of an
: cient and modern languages.
"What are you doing thereP" in
quired Jack, Of Tom, as he caught
him peering through the keyhole.
"What's that to your" said Tom, 81
don't like to see person prying into
} other peoples business"
A lady who has been reading law is
in the most fearful and agonizing
doubts regarding the legality OF her
married condition. She says, "Lotte-
ries are illegal, and marriage is the
greatest lottery in life y
, A barister blind of one eve, plead
, ing with his spectacles on, said: Gen
: tlemen, in my argument | shall use
nothing but what is necessary"
q Then" whispered wag, "take one OF
your glasses out of your spectacles."
: A physician being asked by pa.
d tent if he thought spiaits now and
e then would hurt him much, replied, 81
t do not know that little occasionally
would hurt you much but if you don't
take any, it won't hurt you at ALL"
, "A part Of the roof Of the Rail
D road bridge,a this place,was blown of
last week. A heavy wind was blow
e ing at the time, but not so strong as it
had previously blown. 1t was a whirl-
wind that did the mischief Warren
Ledger.
Jones, says the Boston Journal
who wears his pocket book on the left,
; not only lets not right hand know
what his left hand doeth, but goes fur
| ther-he docs not let his left hand do
any thing for fear his right hand may
know it.
Mr. Scranton, proprietor of the
Scranton Republican, was sued for libel
by John Jessup, for saying that the
latter's house was none of the best
The case was tried at Wilkesberre last
: week, and resulted in a verdict of ac-
quittal, the State bearing the costs.
A young married lady being applied
to for a situation by a servant-girl, she
asked; why did you'leave your last
place 2" Why. you see, ma'am," re-
piled the girl, 81 was too good looking;
and when opened the door the gen
tlemen always took me for the missis. y
, The life Of an editor is not always
, free from care. They have to stand
> this up in Newman, Ga: "Come and
, look, mother" said little boy, "there
f goes an editor" "My son, you should
not make sport of the poor man you
| cannot tell to what extremity you may
, come. - Charleston Courier.
The New York Tribune says: "Ono
hears of extrvagant prices paid by the
magazines for literary articles, but the
4 prices are usally exaggerated or
4 imsgipary. The best ra;e given by
3 tlTe AtALEhe even to such emipent and
e tavorite contributors as HoImls
r er4on and Lowell, is $3.50. ~
1 general price for magazine artieIes is
e rarely more than Sl00."
A miller Lad his neighbor arrested
under the charge Of stealing wheat
from his mill, but being unable 10 sub
I slantiate the charge BY proof,the court
e adiudccd that the miller should make
4 acknowledgement to the accused.
r We'll" says lie, Il hand you arrested
n far staalincr my vb9at | can't nrova