The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-04-22

his Is certainty remarkable fine article
of flour How fragrant the coffee smells.
Here's little drawback-frying-pa net
big enough to hold the oysters. Never
mind; well put 'cn in first and second
series, like a volume OF popular essays =
Mr. Harry kneller paused to wipe the
streaming perspiration from his brow
Half past s.x. 5iatie would be home now
the surprise must really be accele-
rated
81 really think the oysters must be
done on one side now said Harry, eye
ing the iryingpan scientifically, aud max
ing dive at its contents with his fork.
..liello! why they as hard as bullets
What on earth is the matter 2"
He stared with discounted ewes at the
round adamantine ball that he had inag-
ined juicy hearted oysters,
I'm not bewitehed, am ?" he pom
dered. 1--WE heard Of money changing
to dry leaves, but never heard IF oys-
ters being transformed to stone! It SAINT
be possible that-but it is possible, aud
! I've been and gone aud done IL. I've
dredged my oysters in the barrel of plas-
ter of Paris that was brought in for the
garden, instead Of the -four. Here's a
pretty biunder. IN the oysters spoiled !.
twenty FIVE of 'en, at five cents apiece
and all through my stupidity"
At the same moment the spout of the
britannia eoffee-pot parted company with
It's main reservoir, and the coifee-grouads
water and melting metal poured into the
ire IN confused steam aud noise
Harry started back appalled, at this re-
suit. In his haste he retreated on Fussy's
personal property. She resaliated by y;g-
ovous use Of her claws. Endeavorine to
release her and himself, Harry stepped
quickly to one side-too quickly, alas
| for he stumbled over Pussy, and catching
! at the table e-eloth-Matie had set the
table over night-fell upon the floor. The
china, knives, forks, castor, sugar. milk,
syrup aud mustard lay in charming con
fusion upon and around him. Faithful
to his duties, he still held the fossllized
oysters on the end OF a toastiug fork.
" hile Harry lay prone on the kitchen
oil cloth, considering within hi,nsel
whether he we're killed dead, mortaliy
wounded, or not hart at all, the door
opened and Mrs. Kneler rushed in. pale
and breathless.
''fle has shot himself-1 know be has.
He has committed suicide, Oh, Harry.
my own, own husband, speak to me Tell
me you are not dead -
''No-I don't think am" euunciated
Mr.. knelier slowly, as his wife threw
herself on her knees beside him, nearly
strangling him with the ferveney OF her
embrace. ''Only I've smashed the china
and fried the oysters in plaster Of Paris.
aud melted the nose off the cofTee-pot.
But [ III not dead. [ think ~
And while Mary assisted him to rise,
IN little hysteric ;remor between laugh
ing and crying, he looked shecpisAly
round on the chaos and ruin that sur
rounded the death agonies Of his ambition
as cook
"Iou see, Matte he said, glancing
do!orously down: at his ash besprinkled
habilincnts, Il wanted to give you little
surprise, and
And you entirely succeeded, M
love- said his wlic misch;evously
You're splendid lawyer, dear, I've no
doubt; but you'll never succeed in life
as cook"
L wish you would tell me one thing
Matte, he said that evening. as Mrs
Knellcr handed him his second Gun of
tea.
And what's that?"
W by didn't my buekwheat batter
loan aud bubble as yours does 1 stirred /
1t until my arm was lame"
My dear, said Matte laughing, ssdo
you suppose the buckwheat batter didn't /
know the difference between you aud
me-
"Nonsense %
'AOt course it's nonsense" said Matt.
Il
demareiy, II you mean your attempting
to Try oysters III plaster OF Paris -
And Mr.. KnelIer did not answer