The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-09-14
NJ MORS OF THE DAY.
How TO serve u dinncr--cat it

Chinese,
"IiltIc and often fill the PURSE
and the person,
Light employment Building rag-
tlcS in the air,
The grandcst verse in existence
The universe.
When is u lawyer strongest?
When he is fCc-bICst.
Those who have thcirmillious have
II right to put ON aires.
A joint affair with but Il single
party TO it-Ehcumatism.
One ought to have dates ut ones
fingers ends, seeing they grow onthc
palm.
When n person declares that lis
brain is on fire, is it etiquette to blow
it out?
A bad bat taken TO nm evening
party frequently comes out az good
rs new.
A dandy on shore is disgusting to
many, but n swell at sea aickcns
everybody.
Advice to fast men ;--"To run an
m-bridlcd career" rcyCr morrY.-
y. q. Times.
The servants in the bathing Cstab-
lirImcnts at Long liranch arc spoken
Of as sousc-maids,
There arc two classes that catch at
slraws-dr0wning men and lovers OF
COOLERS and juleps.
France struck at Germany on the
Rhine the Germans in France pCnC-
tratcd TO the core,
A newspaper advertisement calls
for a plain cook, able to dress II little
boy five years old.
"Why was Louis Nnpolcon's army
like his moustachc? Because it was
waxcd at both ends"
Little fish have q proper idea o!
business. Not able to do better they
start on a small scale.
The fellow who slept under "thc
cover Of night" complains that he
cNmc very near freezing.
Put money in Thy purse, as the
pickpockct said when he robbed
n man Of an empty onC
Mary had Il little lamb,
ltR fleece was white ~ cotton,
And everywhere that Mary vent,
The lamb it went "A lrOttiU.
A little girl delighted at the sing
ing Of a buhOlinh, earnestly asked
her mother, What makes him sing
50 swcctly, ma? /, it because he lives
ON n0wcrs!'
81 live in julia eyes" said an af-
lcctcd dandy, in CoIciumn'a hearing.
"DonI wonder a!it,' replied George,
"sincc observed that she had u ,'1
IN them when ! saW her IaSt.'
Romantic Amelia 60 her bctrothcd
Young doctor) -" Look, dear, such a
beautiful sunset! The sky is all Grim
pon." i'mromuuljc doctor " ~ as
appears to have hod Il mu tard pi2-
ter on.
A gentleman expressed to Il lady
his admiration Of her toilet. She
said she supposed he Lad been i'm
pressed by her angel sleeves. II"
answered with cIlusion: n" but III
like TO be-
"You have considerable npaiiuo
population in this village, hayn'i
your asked II stranger of one Of ihc
citizens of % village on the MisHi,Sip.
pi. wei, yCs, rathcr,' was the re-
ply "about half the year the water
is up t) the sccond-story window
An Indiana man claims to have
succeeded in playing II thorough con-
hdcncc game upon the potato bugs. lie
planted u grain Of corn in each po-
tato hill, and, rs tho corn came up
first, the bugs thought il was u corn
field, aud started for other scenes.
a white haired old negro preacher
in New Orleans thus addressed one
of the meetings of the dissatisfied
darkcys last week What arc yol,
grumbling about? Yer all better OH
dan sc ever 'spcctcd to bc-dan yer
deserve to be. Did yer think when
Massa Liukum guy you yer free
jun he was going to buy tickets in
the lottery beside?
A farmer cured n balky horse il
the town of Eden, Fond du La,
county, Wisconsin. He hitchcd n pail
OF cattle to u log chain around tn,
horses neck, and prevailed on 'cm tC
lean n few tons weight ON the yoke
The horsc didn't start, but his head
came ont by Tie roots. The hide
set of shoes, and n lunch for the
crows are all that is left OF the inlo'
cilc s'ccd.
At Lawrence, Kansas, on Sunday
while q minister was holding iUrll
in the church, a crowd got up n cccL
fight in the yard. Toe people who
had congrcgatcd in the church went
out to stop the fight, but waited til
the fight was over before Directing
Tho minister looked out Of the win.
dow at the crowd and said: awe
are all miserable sinners - which
w..ippcd?'
An acquaintance from the country
having visited some friends, and hCiug
about to depart, presented u. little
boy, one of the family, with l hall
dollar, in the presence of his mother,