The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-04-25
A Rich Marriage Ceremony.

HAVTNG been appointed Justice of
IL the Peace, was accosted on the 9th
day of July, by sleek-looking young
man, and in silvery tones requested to pro-
ceed to a neighboring hotel, as he wished
to enter into the holy bonds of matrimony.
Here was "squelcher." / had never
done anything of the kind, had no books
nor forms yet I was determined to do
things up strong, and in legal manner !;
so proceeded to the hotel, bearing in
my arms one copy of Revised Statutes,
one Of Webster's Unabridged Dictionary,
one copy of a large-sized Bible, a small
copy of the Greed and Articles of Faith
of the Congregational Church, one copy
Of Pope's Essay on Man, aud a sectional
part Of the map where the victim lived.
Having placed table in the middle of
the room, and seated my self behind it,
l, in trumpet tones called the case. With
that, the young man and woman, with
great alacrity, stepped up before me.
Having sworn them on the dictionary to
answer we'll and truly all questions | was
about to ask, proceeded. l told the
young man that being an entire stranger,
| should ask him to give bail for the costs.
Having heard this so frequently in court,
[ thought it indispensable. He answered,
if meant the fee for performing the cere-
mony, he would deposit it then and there.
As | did not know exactly what did
mean, | magnanimously waived that por-
ton Of the ceremony. | then told him it
would be necessary to give bail to keep
the peace. This he said he was willing
to do when he arrived home, aud then
waived that point also.
Having established to my satisfaction
that they wanted to get married, and that
they were old enough to enter into that
blessed state, proceeded to tie the knot. |
asked him ifhe was willing to take that
woman to be his wife. He said he was.
| told him that did not require haste in
the answer; that he might reflect few
moments if he wished | told him she
looked like a fine girl, and / had no doubt
she was but if the sequel proved that he
had been taken in, [ did not want to be
held responsible. | said he must love,
honor and obey her as long as she lived
he must not be "snappy" around the
house, nor spit tobacco-juice on the floor
all of which he faithfully promised to
heed
"Now," said |, "Georgiana, cher name
was Georgiana, you hear what Humphrey
says Do you accept the invitation to
become his wife, will you be lenient to-
wards his faults, and cherish his virtues,
will you never be guilty of throwing fur
niture at his head for slight offenses, and
will you get three meals day without
grumbling?" She said she would.
asked them if they believed in the com.
mandments : they said they did Having
read the Articles of Faith as aforesaid, |
exclaimed, Humphrey, take her, she is
yours-I cannot withhold my consent" ."
Georgiana, when safe in the arms oI
your Humphrey, you can defy the SCOTS
and jeers Of the world"
| then read little from the " Essay on
Man including that passage, Man wants
but little here below, but wants that little
long" As finale to the scene, deliver.
ed the following exordium {" Go in peace
sin no more"
The generous Humphrey having placed
fifty cent check in my unwilling palm
bade the happy pair final adieu.