The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-02-15
A Melting Story.

keeper in the Green Mountain State was
about closing his door for the night and
while standing in the snow outside put
ting up the window shutters, saw through
the glass, lounging, worthless fellow
within, grab pound Of fresh butter
from the shelf, and conceal it in his
hat.
The act was no sooner detected than
the revenge was hit on, and a very few
minutes found the Green Mountain store
keeper at once INDUCING his APPETITE for
fun to the fullest extent, and paying of
the thief with facetious sort Of torture
for which he would have gained pre-
MUM from the old inquisition.
II say, Seth" said the store-keeper,
coming in and closing the door after
him Shaping his hand over his shout
ders, and stamping the snow off his
feet.
Seth had his hand on the door, bis
hat on his head, and the roll Of butter
in his hat, anxious to make his exit as
soon as possible.
~ say, Seth, sit down; Ireckon now,
on such an e-tar-nal night as this, a
little something warm would not hurt a
fellow"
Seth felt very uncertain; he had the
butter, and was exceedingly anxious to
get off, but the temptation Of something
warm sadly interfered with his resolu'
ton to go. This hesitation, however
was soon settled by the rightful owner
of the butter taking Seth by the shout
ders and planting him in seat close by
the stove, where he was in such a man
ner cornered in by the boxes and barrels,
that while the grocer stood before him
there was no possibility OF getting out
and right in this very place snre enough
the store-keeper sat down.
"Seth, we'll have little warm Santa
Cruz" said the Green Mountain grocer;
so he opened the stove door, and stuffed
in as many sticks az the place would
admit; without it you'd freeze, going
home such night as this"
Seth already felt the butter setting
closer to his head, and he jumped up,
declaring he must go.
Not till you have something warm,
Seth; Seth, come, I've got story to tell
you" and Seth was again rushed into
his seat by the cunning tormentor.
ooh it's 80 darued hot here" said the
petty thief, attempting to rise.
"Sit down-don't be in such plaguey
hurry" retorted the grocer, pushing him
back into his chair.
"But I've got the cows to fodder, and
the wood TO split, and | must be going"
said the prosecuted chap.
"But you mustn't tear yourself away,
Seth, in this manner. Sit down, let the
COWS take care Of themselves, and keep
yourself cool; you appear TO be little
fidgetty,' said the roguish grocer with q
wicked leer.
The next thing Was the production Of
two smoking glasses OF hot toddy, the
very sight OF which, in Seth's present
situation, would have made the hair
stand erect on his head, had it not been
well oiled and kept down by the butter.
Seth, l will give you a toast now,
and you can butter it yourself" said the
grocer, with an air Of such consumate
simplicity, that poor Seth believed HIM
self unsupported "Seth, herc's-here' s
a Christmas goose, well roasted, ch? |
tell you, its the greatest eating in crea-
ton. And Seth, don't you never use
hogs fat, orcommon cooking butter, to
haste it with-come take your butter
/ mean, Seth, take your toddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke, rs
well as smell, and his mouth was her
metically sealed up. as though he had
been born dumb. Streak after streak
Of the butter came pouring from under
his hat, and his handkerchief was al
ready soaked with the greasy overflow.
Talking away, az if nothing was the
matter, the grocer kept stuAing in the
wood, while poor Seth sat upright, with
his back against the counter, and his
knees touching the red hot furnace be-
fore.
"Plaguey cold night, this. said the
grocer "Why, Seth, You seem to per-
spire "a if you were warm ! Why don t
you take your hat Off? Here let me put
your hat away!
A greasy cataract was now pouring
down the poor mans face and neck;
soaking into his clothes, and trickling
down his body into his boots, so that he
was literally in a perfect bath Of oil.
"Well, good night, Seth" said the
humorous Vermonter, eff you will &C"
and adding as he darted out of the door,
II say, Seth, l reckon the fun ! have
had out OF you is worth a nine pence,
80 l shan't charge you for that pound
Of butter in your hat"