The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1871-10-21
Wit and Wisdom.

husband.
WHEN is a young lady every like a
whale 2" When she's painting
SOME lawyers can't sleep. They lie on
one side, and turn over and lie on the
other.
MoTTo for sewing machine-As you
sew, SO shall you rip. Is not muslin Ill
the open air "played out2"
An Ohio young man had girl, whom
he was counting, arrested for biting his
lips. The fool couldn't he bite back
''WHAT would make a good leading
article for me tomorrow" asked a
wicked editor of a wit "a halter"
was the sententious reply.
A COMPANION PIECE to the Battle of
Dorking" has just been published i'll
one Of the India papers, styled, 'How
we lost India
A SENSIBLE lady of mature years says
that it does not look well for a young
lawyer to put his arm around a girl at
circus and comb her hair with his
fingers.
HERE is Saratoga epitaph
q Here hes the wife of Robert REGULAR.
A YOUNG gentleman speaking of a
hair called it pure gold cit ought to
be, said a bystander, cit looks like
twenty-fOur carrots"
COOP REMEDIES-fOr corns, easy
shoes; for bile, exercise: for rheumat-
ism, new flannel and patience; for govt,
toast and water; for the tOothache, a
dentist: for debt, industry; for love,
matrimony
A LITTLE four year old while combing
herfather's hair last Sabbath was asked
If she saw any white hairs Yes, "
was the reply, ait looks Just as if 1T
had been showing in your upper
story"
A SUMNER boarder Ca very close cal
culatOr), recently astonished the land
lord by asking him how much he was
going to deduct from his board bill be-
cause he had had two teeth extracted.
Next
MORE revenge for the Union. Saxon
tourist at Irish railway station What
time does the half past eleven train
start, Paddy 2" Porter, "At thirty
minutes to twelve, sharrup, Gor.
AN Ohio paper asserts that Mr. Per
ry Culberston died III GAINESVILLE, on
Saturday last, g from the effects of
over exertion at fire in that place in
1874"
They have at last discovered mon
ster at Narragansett. Instead Of a sea
monster it Is a she monster-a tooth
less old maid, who goes about talking
gossip and Islander and creating trouble
generally.
A MONTREAL boatman believes that
he has caught veritable sea serpent,
nine feet long, with neither fins nor
feet, ana having scales and fiat head,
like an alligator's, with deep sunken
eyes.
SPEAKING of a minister whose ser
mons contained a little of everything
and not much of anything:
His talk is like stream which runs
With rapid change from rocks to roses
1t slips from politics to puns,
1t glides from Mahomet to Moses.
WHAT can be wetter than a woman
with a cataract in her eye, a waterfall
on her head, a creek in her back, forty
springs in her skirt, and high tied
clictS w t.E, one Will Al Dollon Ill DCI
head and swimming In tears.
IT was once remarked, in the hearing
Of a little girl of thirteen, that all
things came by chance, and that the
world, like mushroom, sprang up in a
night. 81 should like to know, sir"
asked the child, ''where the seed came
from ~
GREELEY's recipe for preserving
peaches-CEt in strips not less than
fifteen inches long: spread them out
on the grass to bleach for three Gays,
and finally sprinkle with cinnamon,
and pack III air tight jars filled with
saw dust N. Y Commercial
NEWPORT has grown to be a very ex-
pensive and almost exclusive resort
In the eyes of the aristocratic "cot
tagers " the hotel "people" are of little
account, the former being owners of
places which elsewhere might be called
villas, and cost from ten to fifty thou
sand year to maintain.
AMONG the Sunday-school children of
q certain church was a poor little fell
low He could not tell the number of
the house in which lie lived, and he
school to bring it. The next time he
app AIRED he was asked If he brought
the number. ono, sir, " said he sit
was nailed so tight on the door that L
cOuldn t get 1t off. "
SPILLERs, the commedian, being one
evening behind the scenes, tomented
with violent tOothache, the barber of
the theatre offered to relieve him by
pulling it. No, my good friend re-
piled he, ono, [ can not spare a tooth
now, but on the 10th day of june the
house closes, and you may then draw
every tooth | have, for | am sure, after
that, | shall have nothing to eat
An elderly lady of Norwich who was
a set of false teeth III dent
al Office and admiring the fuency with
which the doctor described them, ask
ed him, Can body eat with these
things" My dear madam, mastica
ton can be performed with a facility
equaled by nature herself, re
spOnded the doctor eyes, I know,
but can body eat with them?'
A WOMAN recently went into an
apothecary store in Fairhaven and
asked for a plaster. The pharmaceutist
inquired what kind of a plaster was
wanted, but the woman was unable to
give any description. Hoping, to get
some idea of what was required, the
man of drugs then asked "Where
is the plaster to go?" ooh !" answer
ed the woman, " to the head of the riv-
ar"