The evening Argus., 1871-03-18
UNCLE TEM's STORK.
..out west" Forty Years ago.


bad looking, though | was small of stature
and lacked that plumpness of limb gener-
ally thoaght to be necessary 10 manly
beauty. Ia fact was dreAdfully lear, though
my health was perfect
took up my abode at the c. hotel,
and soon made lot of acquaintsnces.
Strange how easy this getting acquainted is
IN new country. Everybody soon knows
you aud you know every body. 80 | found
it at least. had not been in C more
thAn fortnight before every little boy and
girl in town called me Tim Ssephigh, as il
Mr.. Timothy Stephigh we're an utter III poss-
ibility with them.
No matter how brightly my boots we're
polished the stout young men went SLOUGH
ing past with morning, TIn, how're ye, OLD
fel?' uss rs they did with each other. NO
matter how hne my broadclosh, was, the
glrls all seemed to care no more tor me than
thev did the youths IN blue jeans. l might
put on ten dollar shirts aud excruciAtlng
neckties, but Mrs. Brosdtop and Mrs. Scrub
cabin didn't seem to notice them. They
would keep asking me how it was that |
was out OF EN- plUy ment. There ia Farmer
Dugup who wants a hand, and Peter Jones
is hunting q man TO tend to his cattle. You
might get clerks place here in town, too,
il you're good in writing aud fgures" Thus
they talked to me-a man worth cool
hundred thousand and q graduate OF fine
college. The fact is, was not appreciated.
| wrote some verses for the town paper, but
don't thiDk any one ever read them.
True enough, ,levery body treated me kindly.
They invited me to their houses, introd duced
me TO their friends, took me out to see their
cattle and horses, all Os which was quite
hAtttring only Tim" that familiar Tim,
OF every body's tongue did sound so undig-
nifed.
As for me, never forgot to say Mr.. Dug
up, Mrs. CloEhespin, MISS Sorghum, 30,
&C. This pohteness of mine they all
received as 9 matter of course but no one
never returned it, Just Tim. hat was all.
You may wonder why | stayed, "out
West at al this e8pel SO to my feelings,
and l may well tell you that harmless
Irritation with young lady, at one of the
Southern watering places, had got me into
duel with her brother, In which encounter
! pretty badly wounded my antagonist, and
so | had to depart in peace and cover up my
tracks TO avoid an unpleasant meeting with
& certain sheriff.
When winter came c. was q gay and
festive town, They had parties and balls
and sleighing, aud do not know what all
Q! course | was welcome everywhere, and
to say the truth had deal of fun with the
buxom lasses of town and country, or taking
them a sleighing by moonlight. But through
sll this fun there ran such broad stream
of familiarity | could not turn round with
out hearing Tim" OF course they sone~
times tiaGtered me by saying, Tins an
awful fine dancer, he skips like @ meadow
lark with a horse hair round his feet, or
something of that sort. l always replied
to such observations with chilling polite
ness, only 1t did no. seem 10 chill
anyone in particular. How l did wish
for few fashionable ladies and gentlemen
10 come to C! just one young woman
OF society, II no more. 1t would give nv
life q flavor. 1t would be ike smoking a
fine cigar, after week with clay pipes and
pig tail tobacco; or like peaches and cream
after e month of "corn pones' and bacon
As If my longings were to be fulfilled BY 3
special Providence, it at length came to my
cara that Miss Ella Bryan was soon to re
turn TO C, after year at fashionable
boarding school in New York Her father
was Judge Bryan, of the Circuit Court, and
her mOJher, as q matter of course, was
Judge Bry ans wife.
From all the information l Was able to
gather from various sources, | came to the
conclusion that Miss Bryan must be quite q
beauty. The young men said abe was
mighty smart" the girls looked ubled
Whenever her name was mentioned, and the
old folks were not slow to praise her many
good qualities.
| set about at once preparing for the ad-
vent of this star, whose rays we're toenlight-
en- the darkness OF G.. got out my
best Clothes and my diamond pm. / dyed
my whlskers, and studied my book OF sen.
umental Quotations. assIdlousy.
tell you Miss Bryan was lovely as an
angel, pretty as the pictures of UndIne (ae
the German artists make them) looking 81
q cataract. Iu spite Of myself, | contracted
a bad case OF love at first sIght, To M
great delight, l soon began to s,e evidenc'
OF reciprocity. felt sure Of Ella Bryan
love, in fact, and scarcely a day passed ths
did not 90 to see her. She had brough
home guitar with her, which was a cir
cumstance greatly in my favor, for in thos'
days / sang In a way which tended to make
folks think me gifted; and then with Eli
Bryan's soft, sweet soprano to contrast N,
rich baritone, and Ella Bryans eyes beaminl
on me, | caught high inspiration and SAM
-ODt sang W Ou5ub W nave near
me, but you didn't.
Curious how things sometimes get topsy
turvy "out Vest" l have often though
40, anyhow.
Well, At length found that had rivA
whose name was Jympkins Peter JymE
kins- Young lawyer This fellow ws
good looking and pretty smart. He had
way, too, that took with Western folks. Fl
L. - loR. r.
tobacco, and play the fiddle. Pete the
called him, just as they called me Tin
though he didn't seem to mind it.
You know how these rivsries used (
work When / went anywhere with Ell
Bryan, Jympkins always went with Ros
Piper, pretty lit!le chit, just as full OF lif
and mischief as pet squirrel. II JymE
kins got the start OF me and went with Ella
b why, Of course, went with Ross, -whic
didn't Seem to hurt Jympkins at al, bu
then could see it piqued Ella, which satii
fed me, you know.
This sort of thing went on some time; bu
somehow / wanted il ended. To tell th
truth, was afraid to bring the matter u
and push Ella to choose sbetween me an
Jympkius, for you know, she might ohooa
Jympklns.
al last great Plcnlc ehu SnoOline h9'S
was gotten up in the neigh borhood ofC-
aud Of course everybod went. | WASH
fast enough, and Jympkins engaged Ella
ompsny, so had to take Rosa.
Somehow ! didn't enjoy the ride to tn
picnic grounds. Little Rose talked all tn
time but didn't hear much that she sal
until she spoke Of the prize offered TO tn
best 'hot, fine powder horn, to be receive
from the hand of Ella Bryan.
We got to the grounds late. Jympkin
was just taking his place, rife in hand for
shot. He raised his gun deliberately an
fired.
1.-TWO best out of three" shouted tn
marker.
81 claim the price," said Jympkinr