Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-04-23
CONNUBLALITIES.

own the charms of rounded arms,
OF eyes that loves soft lustFe shed,
OF raven hair, and tresses fair,
OF cheeks that toy with white AMI red;
OF pouting lips, where Cupid dips
The arrows that to hearts are sped;
+ Yet none of these my fancy please
Like the bonny hands that make good bread.
Some hands have art to move the heart,
By waking music's sweet appeal;
Some borrow dyes from perfect skies,
And through the canvas make us feel;
Some make the dress fair forms caress,
To win the heart and turn the head;
For me, more rare beyond compare,
Are the bonny hands that make good bread
Gay maiden, vain the rustling train.
Those jeweled hands, so idly crossed, -
That idler mind can pleasure find
Inevery hour ignobly losti T. Il
Your Jewels shine, your locks are hRe,
But I'll not ask whene'e | wed,
For jeweled hands or gold and lands,
But for bOnny bands that make good bread.
Why are old maids the most charming
of all people9 Because they are match
less.
After all, the best safety match is mar
rying a rich wife.
Two brothers named Smalltubs, re-
Gently married in Michigan, took the
names of their wives.
An agricultural society offered q pre-
MUM for the best means of irrigation.
A farmer reading it irritation, took his
wife to the fair, feeling sure he would
win the prize.
The young lady who fell-dead in love
with q young gentleman Immediately
revived on being asked to name the day.
ga Young Shakeless" says in a note
that the assertion often made that the
Shaker males hate the females, and vice
yeTsG, is not true, 'for we love each
other better than we can express"
Somebody advertises for agents to sell
work entitled EHymeneal Instructor. "
A contemporary adds: 'The best by
meneal instructor we know of is young
widow. What she don't know there is
no use in learning"
Love induced a Texas girl to poison
| her father the other day because he re-
fused to permit her to marry the man of
her choice. A stomach-pump saved the
old man, and an elopement saved the girl.
The English house of lords again stops
theway. 1t has, by 81 votes against II,
rejected the motion for the second read
inglof the bill legalizing marriage with q
deceased wife's sister, thus reversing the
verdict Of the House of Commons.
A studious writer Classics blondes as
follows: "The Gothic Irish, the Saxon
English, the little ridiculous blonde, the
cephalic gold blonde, and the Emphatic
blonde. OF these the cephalic gold indi-
viduals are most dangerous to masculine
peace of mind.
A Tennessee lawyer, recently married
to widow, fell asleep the other day in
the courtroom, and was suddenly awsk-
ened by the mention of the lsdy's first
husbands name by one of the members
of the bar. Springing to his feet, he ex-
claimed: ''Wha'! what you shsn't have
herl" This, of course, astonished the
court, and he blushingly explained that
he was dreaming, and thought B
was coming back to take his wife from
him.
The following is the latest programme
issued for the observance of wedding an
niversaries, viz: First anniversary, iron;
fifth anniversary, wooden; tenth anniVer-
sary, tin; fifteenth anniversary, crystal;
twentieth anniversary, china; twenty
fifth anniversary, linen; fortieth anniyer-
sary, wooden; forty fifth anniversary,
silk; flfueth anniversary, golden; seventy,
fifth anniversary, diamond
The following method of divorce seem:
easy enough for the most ''advanc>
thinkera" on that subject. 1t is an ad
vertisement, dated Marine, Ill, and sign
ed by Charles Schumann: "HeIeby
notify my wife, Sophie Schumann, snC
command her to return to me with thu
money in her possession from, within
eight days, to live with me again, else
will be lawfully divorced from her.
Among the connubialities in the las
number of the Murf>eesboro Monitor, W,
find the following, which speaks for itself
| We met our worthy friend Capt. Beard, lat
ed tor of the Monitor, coming up town Ia.
Tuesday morning, apparently highly elated
and humming his favorite tune to the follow
ing line:
There came to port last Monday night
The queerest little craft,
| without an inch of rigging on
Hooked, and looked and laughed!
1t was so singular that she
Should cross the Unknown water,
Aud moor herself right into my room
My daughter, oh, my daughter
! Yet by these presents witness all,
, She's welcome fifty times,
And comes consigned TO Hope and Love,
! And common metre rhymes,
, | Shs has no manifest but this;
No rag floats DER the water,
She's too new for the British Ii ydS-
My daughter, oh, my daughter!
Ring out, wild bellS-and tame ones to:
; Ring out the lovers moon,
Ring out the little wOrsted socks,
, Ring in he bib and spoon;
4 Ring out the muse, ring in the nurse,
e Ring in the milk and water;
| Away with paper, pens and ink
Ny daughter, oh, my daughter