Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-29
Varieties.

MONOGRAM curtain eornices are the style.
A beautiful extract-Helping young lacy
out of mud puddle.
Counting after marriage-app'yins ioF
divorce.
Why is a light-rope dancer like an epidein-
ic? Because he's poisin IN the ar
Thirty East Indians arc Hindoostriously
studying law in London
There is a man out West who is so lazy
that he has applied for position as a nan
road sleeper.
Great Britain and Ireland employ 1871
miles of railroad,
A capital letter-one containing remit
lance.
Il good many merchants are resting on
their owers.
Poetic imaginery is Brooklyn Union for
poetic imagery.
Great Britain only lost p 900 letters out
or94O, 10000 posted in 1870.
Three hundred and fifty million pounds Is
the grape crop Of California.
Holden has long been foreibly an ex-Goy--
ernor. and now be pathetically calls himseH
an exile.
Utah BARRIERS charge Fifty cents, and travel
ers call it skinning rather than shaving
Batavia has horse cars. The natives have
not vet. however, discovered the use OF the
car hook.
The London Lancet says that RenlOrth had
before suffered from hypertrophy OF the
heart. and been advised to discontinue row.
ing.
Gen. Marmaduke has turned his Conicd-
crate sword into plowshare and gone to
editing an agricultural paper in st. LOUIS.
A Western medium is announced to do all
that the Davenport brothers can, even to the
jumping of hotel bills.
Black silk stockings and pumps are COM
ing in New York.
The book trade in France Is at stand
still. Some of it may be found yet IN New
York at stand-still.
4 Keokuk Clowa) paper takes pride 10
mentioning that that city ls the lO4th city
in size in the United States
George F. Beebe, Of Fremont, y. H., has
onions enough on less than an acre Of ground
to buy thousand bushels Of corn.
The Stephens Neurological Institute has
an electromagnet capable of raising more
than thirty tons Of iron; equivalent to about
eighty jersey tons of coal.
An Elmira man is happy now. lie did
not love his wife, and she sweetened her cot
fee with laudanum. The man secured the
proceeds Of an insurance policy, and then
recovered heavy damages from the druggist
who sold the poison.
The tornado at Oshkosh has developed
lawsuit. Ii carried a farmers wheat stacks
into a neighbor's field, and the latter claims
the grain by right Of possession.
Two brothers were married to two sisters
in church in indianapolis, Ind, on thurs
day evening last.
1t is estimated that the amount at stake by
insurers on life and property in this country
at the present time is about twelve thousand
million dollars.
The refusal of Racine lover to swear
fealty on the Bible induced the girl to knock
him down with the family edition Of the
Scriptures
interviewing, as an epidemic, is nearly as
bad as the cholera; indeed, it's the same
thing-this era of interviewing Is the call
era, isn't it?-Yonkers Ga-dte.
II is said that in London ga child is born
every five minutes" 1t must be little IN
pleasant to the child to have the process
repeated SO often.
Some one is proving, or trying to prove,
that the potnto rot is owing to magnetic IN
fuences, the rotary motion Of the earth, etc.
But they must mean ''pOtatory.
A Southern editor, evidently hen-pecked,
saws that il in our school days the rule OF
three is proverbially trying. how much
harder, in after life, do we feel the rule OF
one ~
The Fiiian cannibals at San Francisco are
said to sing their native war-songs with a
strong accent that curdles the blood of the
listener with mortal terror.
The Elmira Gazette remarks II he champ
ion sardine-eater of the world is the local OF
the Auburn Daily Advertiser. lie says :
ave pay nearly S4,OOO,OOO annually to
France for sardnes."
The average life of sixteen printers, who
are inferred in the Printers Lot, at Mount
. Hope, Rochester, n Y, is thirty-two years.
The Oldest died at fitty-four, the youngest at
twenty two; one-half between thirty and
forty.
An old gentleman of 20 wanted to be mar
ried to girl of Il. One day friend surpris.
ed him teDderly embracing bis intended. 81
don't wonder at your establishment" said
the young lady 'you don't generally expect
to find old heads on young shoulders.
After long scientific researches eminent
French savants declare that the excessive use
of brandy and of absinthe differ in results,
brandy producing tremors and delirum. while
absinthe superinduces epilepsy. There beng
small choice, hard drinkers may select either
means Of destruction indherc1tly.
Bonner won't pay that $4,000 for Gold
smith Maid, now she has beaten Dexter to
harness; but proudly offers 500, 900 when
she shall beat him to wagon.
4 Minnesota teamster was surprised to
find himself blown over the tops Of the trees
the other day lie had been hauling nitro
glycerine the day before, and a drop or two
had leaked down where the springs bit 1t.
During fine starlight evening lately
three-year Old philosopher, after silent
and apparently profound scrutiny Of the
heavens, asked his mother abruptly where
the stars came from Mamma replied "
don't know, Willie ; don't know where
the stars came from a." Well, you bet do.
The moon laid en-"
a lady inmate of an Indiana poor-house,
aged l06, has engaged herself to an ardent
swain of o. The extreme youth Of her
affanced is the only objection made to the
match by her relatives, who urge that it
would be prudent for her to marry a man
few years her senior, SO that when they
advance in life the disparity of age might
be less noticeable.
Coon SrORY-PILL-TIME rs. CAR-TINE.-A
correspondent of the Montpelier WatchmaR