Middletown transcript., 1871-07-29

ana rcIic. Ludtcrous were the mistakes
arising from Crisp's improvised Italian.
One day when dining at by-way osteria.
his wry face and spu,tcrings led to the
discovery that, having perceived that cloth
tea, and various other commodities, when
called for Of English quality. wero supe-
rion, he took it for granted that the adjcc-
tive Ingtesc was the magic word to evoke
from shopkeoper aud landlord the best Of
their stock ; and on this occasion, finding
the salt very dingy Of aspect. he thought
to substitute purer article by shouting
for sale inylese; whcrcupon lie was, after
much delay. served with an ounce or two
Of Epson salts. and had favored his soup
Herewith To such degree that its bitter
ness excited frequent anathemas against
the Italian cuisine. When at loss for n
word he consulted his dictionary, and be-
ing ambitious to inaugura.c an old-fash-
ioncd Christmas dinner at the "Leprc, v
he made n list Of the ingredients Of u
plum-pudiug, and anticipated tho agrcea-
BILE surprise which would delight the par
ty, owing to his secret order to the chief
cook. Unfortunately, however, Crisp had
either forgotten or knew not how to direct
the cooking Of the rich materials, which l..
to his dismay. and our diversion, were
served in a crude nnd liquid state in an
enormous turccn Bu, the climax of his
rage agains, Italian viands arose from his
obstinate att 'mpt to l,alianze our vcrnacu-
lar 10y some cuphonious vowel termination
AN cxpedient he had found successful in
more than one instance when baked in
attempts to make himself understood by
the urblnc natives \ sound Of violent
alteration greeted our entrance to the
faNo,U one day Crisp was seated flushed
AID swearing no, according to the hca-
then. but the Christian vocabulary -four
-hing napkin Indignantly AMI gazing
with dispair upon plate Of indigo |,
seemed he desired turkey for dinner In.
stead Of gatiiaaccio, the legitimate Italian
for that precious domestic bird, he had
ordered pcrsi.,ently Mr-chiao notw,h-
standing the shrpgs # the waiter, who
was 50 accustomed 60 his eccentricitirs as
to believe hin. capable Of any diet, and
therefore after vain remoustrnnccs had
taken him at his word Dnc morning the
ftGr di Grr.o was crowded but above
the hum OF conversation, and through the
dense cloud nf tobacco smoke, rose a voice
too wei known 10 our little breakfast group.
importantly crying "trdr' tnti3tmi
ne9nt Every ono looked up from the
toasi aud onlet every pipe was with
drawn; tn waters gfinuel the .Iohu
lHIt, lii down Gdtigaaai, tie Italian,
paused in their game of dominoe., and ar
lj,iir Arguments were brought - sudden
rui Louder and more frequent grow the
clamor, and all pccrca curously toward
the yociterous quarter, until we begged
the reluctant Iernon 10 90 and stop his
uoi.y proisJe who, when asked the mean
ing OF his exellma,ions, replied, "Why.
did they not call ont trdra aud uHcofu at
the opera when they wanted u thing over
again: want another cup Of coffee, to
lie sure This explanation circulated at
unee and an t.agi>hman of our acquain-
tancr came pcnsiyrl, towards us with hi.
hanl. pressed against ii, ribs "Gcutlc.
men. said he, .thnt eouLiryman Of yours
will he the death q, me | sat beside him
IN the patquctle last night, and although
assured him over aud over again ,ha, my
cyesieht was excellent, and was using it
to the best advantage, he continued to
lh,u,t hi. sharp elbow into my side, with
Look there every time the b'tierind
made pirouc,tc, aud the consequence is
um sore aud black aud blue and this
morning he has spoiled my Indigestion hy
making me laugh, while eatin... o.e, hi,
rreposteraus but elegantly gotten up note
book, wherein, among other impressions
Of travel. read this -" h,m The Vat.
lean built by several Popcs prior TO tho
French Revolution -
At Naples, as usual, Crisp quartercd
himself upon Vernon. onc day that vic
tim o! his own good nature looking up
from his writing table, behcld h.s shum at
the window Of their common sitting.room
going complaceu,ly through an enigmati-
cal pau,ominc Placing his hand Oh his
heart. h. bowed and smiled, then
opened his arms for an imagincry en-
brace, and ended by lifting up his eyes as
in alteration. falling on his knees. and
waiting kisses from his jcwcled fingers.
Vernon was mortified and alarmed on ap.
preaching the window, 10 Gni that J.. over
looked the paia=.o Of WE'LL knows and
highly respected marquis, and that half u
dozen gdmins. a street musician water
carrier, soldier. and a friar were watch.
ing Crisp from the opposite sidewalk
Attend to your own affairs" was the lat
,er's irritable answer to Ncrnon's remon.
strancc; 1--WE been reading abou, this
country; this is the way they make love !;
you have frightened away pretty woman
who was doubtless on the point Of recip-
roca,ing my advances At that moment
knock vas heard at the door, and in
walked the landlord. pallid and trembling,
with two gendarmes. 30 Signoren ex-
claimed the frightened Boniface. II am
ruined man the Marquis has complained
to the police that his wife has been insult
ed by one of my guests, and warrau, for
his imprisonment has come" All the pos
sible scandal Ct ills adventure flashed up
on Vernon. while the gay Lothario became
- .-..uLln.. III. ,P