Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1871-02-10

- DEooks are, as poets call them. the
nlost Joyous thing in nature, what are
Dney always murmuring abOut2
"What is home without a mother 2r
~ she young girl said when she sent
Nor mother out to chop wood.
4 A-lady's dressmaker horrined bertbs
other Gay bY telling her che would
''cut her body out" ia the course oFtbq
afternoon.
A wit once asked a peasant what
ne performed in the great draulaoflifs.
u tnAnd my own business" was tho
= clergy man at Brunn, Austria. who
Wrote MS name in a hotel rerirter
MIensoHlS the pfehN of "B8v., % was
hned % for the omission.
A Leavenworth paper tells how a
/ oloody domestic tragedy would have
occurred ''haC not Providence stav.d
the grlnning edge Of the hungry aEe.n
A Canadian hotel once had q sfen fn
the reading-Toom thus: "Gentiemeu
| learning 10 spell will please take yes-
terday's paper"
In Napoleon, Ark, man WHO ba6
4 been guilty of not less than mlue homie
/ eides, was recently efec ed constable
/ by an overwhelming majority.
A drunken man, sprawling on the
EgrOunn in Paterson The other mimic.
\ anXinuslv wanted TO know whether
amy body else had been struck by that
earthquake"
a little boy, returning from Sabbath
| school, said to his mother, This cat
e-chism is too hard. Amt there any
kitty-chism for little boys ?"
A bachelor editor, who had a pretty
! sister, recently wrote tOanOther bach6-
| LQr, equally fortunate-''Please ex-
| change"
/ Some fishing parties i'm Maine DON'T
/ tai an axe along, s.hecause there vve-a
! lots Of people hshing last winter, and
/ they can hsh through last years holes"
Mary had s littIe lamb;
] IA Jumped up TO the sky,
/ And when {t ianded on It's feet
Cried, How ia that for hishlH
! A disturbed preacher remarked, "If
that crOss-eA ed lady in the side isle,
with red hair and blue bonnet, don't
I stop talking, j must point hex out 10
| the congree alton"
"Women, = remarked the contempla-
tive man, "aru as deep as the blue wac
ters of yon bay" Gay SIR" reioiued
the disappointed man, ''and as fun Of
craft"
An industrious old lady i'm Eastern
Connecticut, whose early education
was neglected, has put ont q sigu au-
nouncing, '4Oin out whitewaahing
done in here"
Do the bosanists know whether Ne
buchadnezzar, when be WAS doomed
20 eat grass, had any laurels on his
browse 2-Ne'0 York Ledger.
Rutland (Vt.l ladies having frequent
y-been insulted on The streets OF iatei
provided themselves with cayenne
pepper, and some Of the corner f0aiers
are troubled with sore eyes.
The cheese manufacture Of New
York state is growing 20 8 upendOu5
proportions. Twelve hundred fucl Ories
are now in operation, making one mill
lion pounds yearly.
"Why did Joseph's brethren put him
in pit ~ asked Buffalo Sunday
school teacher; and the reply he got
was, "Because there was no room Tor
him in the family circle"
An unmarried young man declared
the other day, with AN expression OF
countenance most ugubrious-''I new
er cared farthing about getting mar
ried until I attended an old bachelors
funeral.'
Some sinner has stolen tbo Their
mometer from the Fond du Lac Rep0r-
ter Office. That paper informs the thiet
that 10 will be Of n use 60 him where
he is going, as it does not work higher
than 3l3 degrees.
Military men have discovered "a new
remedy for int0Xication. 70 is nothing
more than raw potatoes, cut up into
slices, and eaten wi hout salt. An or
binary murphy" 10 is said, VIII cure
the most obstinate case in half an
hour.
The strongest vegetable fibre known
is the New Zealand fax. It has long
sword-like leaves, 10 or - feet ln
length. 1t is used by the settlers for
binning their sheaves, fastening tlelr
gates, tying up their horses, and in al
most every possible way.
An Ohio farmer saw a stranger tear
ing down his rail fence, and mail hin
e. know the reason. The reply watts
chat be was suddenly seized with the
shakes and was holding ON 10 the fsEco
for support.
An Indiana member of tho legisla-
ture searching for d bourdlug-hou
and being told one meal a day WAS moo
counted, cngaeed boarding ut hve Dos
tells and takes one meal at oHch.
The ways of society are curious. Two
ladies who reside near each other on
New Vol k avenue, have exchanged
calls and Invitations Tor six years, and
yet have never met personally. Again
"fact is stranger than fiction
Something TO be noted as curious in
much early English is with great cons
densatiQn of ilcts remarkable re-
dundamcy of words. For instance, this
from ali old Euglish ballad
"Two thousand heavy guns besides
Likcleiss they took aigo,'
of the prominent and prosperous
newspaper publishers i'm Ciucluuutii
two were boiler makers one ctrpeu
ter, a fourth a shoemaker, nuh q
country schoolmuster, but not one
practical printer.
The only chapter i'm tho Bible ltho
last CHAPTER of Proverbsh written ny
woman. 1.-THE mother OF King Lemuelh
contains a plea for wOmuu's wages
ssGive her the fruit OF her hHud, and
let her own works praise her in the
gates
''Pat, who is this Nilsson we hearso
much spakin' about in the newspu-
pers2" Don't you know, Mikof
Why Il is that ould seu-divil Nilsson,
that fit the battle Of the Nile, tuhhd
shure."
The London Cosmopolitan proposes
the following marriage vow for its
lady readers, when ot CaslOu reQutrcss
81 will continue 70 love my huNpohu
so long as he is lOvablb, honor him $50
long as he remains honorable, and obey
him So long as his commands ARE just
and reasonable"
Gov. Merrill, OF Iowa, ON q recent
visit 70 the state Penilouiinry, come
menced a speech TO the prisoners ly
remurkiug that he "yvas glad to soc So
many there ~ phis was followed by mo
applause on the contrary, hy nu Hwk-
ward pause-aud then she Governor
took back what he had said, with what
grace he could muster
Tt was q very hard-shell Baptist, OF
Tennessee, who suggested, when ne
heard of the reformation of an uuBoHlg
neirhbor. that no ordinary baptism
would do for that mantle only sure
way would be TO tie a grind tone 90 p
feet and "anchor him over night lh tND
middle of the rlvcr.n
some Cincinnati ladies Thought 90
increase their beauty when wr"ltns
loyg-neeke ga dresses bp painting blue
ID sI rf