Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-07-14
A SAUSAGE STORY.
Why the Minister kicked the Deacon.

Why the Minister kicked the d con.
A good many years ago, when the
Methodlsts were rather unpopular
in the Eastern States, a witty divine
Of that denomination was serving
his second year in country town
in New England. 1t was rather re-
markable in those days for the Con-
ference to send the same minister
two successive years to the same
church, especially in a country
town; but it was done in this in
stance, and it seemed to be entirely
satisfactory to all concerned. The
clergyman enjoyed the confidence
and love of his own church and
parish, and lie had, by his piety and
fidelity to the cause of Christ, won
the respect of all good people who
knew him, outside his own parish.
SO the other two churches-Congre-
gationalist and Baptist-had began
to manifest a tolerance toward him
and his church, quite unusual for
them.
About Thanksgiving time rcgu.
lar attendant Of the Baptist church
died; the Baptist minister was sick,
and the Congregational minister
was out Of town. Under these cir
cumstances, it was decided to invite
the Methodist minister to conduct
the funeral exercises. The invita-
ton was accepted, and at the prop
er time the good clergyman started
for the house of mourning. He had
some four miles to travel on foot,
and to save distance, left the road
and went across fields and through
woods. Near this by-way where he
was travelling there lived an old
lady-a member of his church. AS
he was so near, he thought he
would call moment. The old lady
did not go to church very often; it
was so far from her home, and she
was lame, too; she was, therefore,
of course, overjoyed to see her min
ister, and what he had intended
should be a momentary call was
prolonged into quite visit, in spite
OF all his efforts to get away.
The old lady was making sau-
sages when he called. At last he
told her he must 90, but she said he
must wait minute while she put
up mess of sausages for him to
carry home with him-enough for
his family's dinner. He tried to ex-
plain to her the impropriety of her
plan under the circumstances, but
she was inexorable; take the sau-
sages he must, and she could fix
them so there would be no incon-
venience to him, and the matter
need not come to the knowledge of
any one else.
The sausages were neatly done
up in white cloth and snugly pinned
two parcels-and put in the
pockets Of his swallow tailed coat
behind-a parcel in each pocket.
Then he hurried away. Innocent,
kind-hcartcd old lady! she did not
imagine what grief, shame, mortiti-
cation and sorrow of heart this little
act would cause her pastor; and he
in his hurry to make up lost time,
little dreamed what awaited him in
consequence of the old lady's gift.
When he arrived at the house of
the deceased, he found a large com
pany waiting. The neighboring
farmers from far and near had as
sembled to pay their tribute of re-
spect, and perform the last sad Off
ces that the living can perform for
the dead; some had come in car
riages, and their horses were hitch
ed to the surrounding trees, fences
and posts. They had allowed their
dogs to follow them. There was
large gathering Of men and boys
about the yard door, waiting for the
minister, who was late; the women
had mostly gone inside, and the
dogs were exchanging civilities, or
incivilities in true dog style, as they
happened to take liking or a dislik-
ing to each other-trotting about
with their tails rolled up in rigid
coils, scratching the ground aside
at a time, causing the dust to fly,
and casting approving glanccs OF
uttering low growls of warning, ac-
cording as they felt toward each
other.
When the minister arrived he was
recognized, shook hand with such
as he was acquainted with, and was
introduced to others. He had hur-
ried up, and warmed up the sau-
sagcs in his pockets. They were
very savory, and were emitting
fragrance that soon came in contact
with the olfactory nerves of the
hungry dogs. The latter left off
their attentions to each other, and
began to snuff for the source of the
pleasant odor, which they highly
appreciated; and they soon traced
it to the minister. They clustered
about him in a very friendly man
ner, but no notice was taken of them.
and when he went into the house,
they went too.
"A prayer was offered at the resi-
dencc, during which the dogs smell
ed out the whereabouts of the savo-
ry meat exactly, and in the doing of
this they greatly annoyed the minis
ter and caused his cheeks to burn
and heart to ache. After the pray
er, the corpse was carried to the
church, which was near bv, and