The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-11-24
KIT AND RuMoR.

| BAAAuSIolASsa FE.-r
What ought always to be up to the
+ mark? A bullet. .-e
Honey bees are winged merchants
they cell their honey.
's2th piEs, appears on a vase in a
81 Danbury boarding house.
What word may be pronounced
quicker by adding two more letters to
it? Quick.
To make hens lay perpetuaIly-hft
them well directed blow on the head
with club. -
Z. Is there any affinity between a man
who lives by chance and q rascal who
fiives by hazard.
People are always advised to put
the best foot forward. What is to be
done with the Other2
1t is at the approach of dinner time
that we most sensibly feel ''theempti-
ness of things below"
If you are afraid you may scream
| when your tooth is being drawn, you
should holdyour jaw.
To cure toothache yOu should hold
a certain root in your hand-the root
of the tooth, you know, re
Mrs. Jane q. SwissheIm Is editing
mo, conducting, that is pastOrating
/ "a Baptist church in PENNSYLVANIA.
] " Administering lead through a
! tube" is what your papers call it in
! Michigan when one person shoots
| another. sor sla -a
'Rarer than the Phoenix, . saws De
/ Quincy, sis the VirtuOus man who
| will consent TO lose a good anecdote
1 because it is a lie.n ~.
The language of flowers: We often
hear of the ''pink Ofpropriety.,' Can
we not with equal propFiety speak Of
the ''fe-lack of truth.
In Boston when q lady rides out,
she is said ito take an airing;" in
! Fittsburg, on the contrary, her object
is to ''take a smoking. n Iz
tits sad fact that the ancestors of a
/ great many men, who boast of their
coat of arms had no coats to neither
! their arms or their backs.
4 Detroit capitalist, worth Si4.OlA
! called at the police station the other
| morning, and reported the loss of a
box of matches worth eight cents.
<s When you find your passions ris>
ing, never cOnfine or suppress them.
How many boilers have been burst by
too close an imprisonment Of their
contents. r-rr #er.
Browning: HTVeH always make it
q rule to tell my wife everything that
happens Smithkins: "Oh my dear
fellow, that is nothing, I tell my wife
lots of things thatneveE happen at all.
Miss Laure White, Of South Abing-
ton Massachusetts,, tried to commit
suicide by throwing herself in front
of a railway train, but the cowcateher
picked her up neatly and saved her
An old Fail-splitteF in Indiana, put
q. quietus upon a young man who
chaffed him about his bald head, in
these words: 81 Young man, when my
head gets as sOftas yours, can raise
hair to sell.n -r
An exchange. says: I'VE are in the
receipt of two poems, one on the
ThTObbing Brain, and the other on a
bleeding Heart. We will wait until
we receive one on the Stomach Ache
and publish all three together"
"You are beautiful, and I adore
you, said gentleman TO the belle Of
the evening. "For my part, / hate
you, and think you frightful, )" she re-
tOrted- 81 believe you, frank girl.
You don't tell polite faIsehoods, like
me-"
A little thing in sabbath school
was asked by her teacher ''if she al
ways said her prayers night and morn
ing" No Miss, don't" Why, Mary!
are you not afraid to go to sleep in the
dark, without asking God to take care
of you and watch over you till morn
lng? No Miss, / ain't-'eause l
sleep in the middle"
A London "gent" walking In Dub
lin for the first time, got into. easy
Ill.
ed him considerably, windinRup with
this smart observation; "Now, tell
me, Pat, where would you be III the
devil had got his due?'' Pat replied,
with feigned simplicity, 'Sure, thin,
I'd be alone, your honor.o za-E
Martha, my dear" said loving
husband to his spouse, who was sgv-
eral years his Junior, "What do YOU
say to moving to the far West?V ''Oh,
l am delighted with the idea. You
recolIect when Mr.. Morgan moved out
there he was as poor as we are, and in
three years he died, leaving his widow
worth hundred thousand dollaTs.n
A Western lady writes to a noted
editor on behalf OF her husband:
won't you," she says, t'see IL Won
can get him a situation as cashier in
bank in New York, or something of
that sort? He is very quick at figures.
II you can't get him that place, will
you please get him one as conductor?
l know you can do it. and If you
can't get him a situation there, won't
you lend him So, 600, so he can start a
hat store here? He will pay you, and
viii see that he does.
3 In 4'the domestic life of Thomas
Jefferson the granddaughter OF Jef-
feTson relates q Yankee trick that is
not well known in history. When
AIr. Jefferson died July 4, 1926, an
enthusiastic Democratic neighboF
of Albemarle, Virginia, observed
that Jefferson, by dying on the Fourth
of July, had raised himself and his
party one step higher in the
temple Of fame. When the ra1rnor
reached this partisan, a few days Inter
that Adams also had died on that
day, he exclaimed ina passion, that
ssit was id Yankee trick %
rg,-,t,e, - FsTt.az.