Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-07-07
HunlOr.

LITTLE CORPORAL
HumOr.
A mere blind-a sun-shaie
A prctender TO the crown-chignon.
Ckeap out-ofdoor break fast--a roll 10 the
grass. eg,...
A bad sign-to sign another mans name
to a note. sfsl..i
A woman's pride and a aailor's guide
the, needle. os's5
Initiate good man, but never counter
felt him.
An eclipse of the son-out off without
penny. 800
The matter of good-fitting coat is only
matter Of form. e'4a 4
When does man impose upon himself +?
When be taxes his memory. 9it
The happiest age for young women-mar
riage; at least, so they think 9 p -!s.
Pigs are doctored the wrong way round
killed first and cured afterward fs4
A theft is nowadays called an irregular
ity, and thief an irregulator.
Why are ships called she-because they
always keep man on the lookout.
Belle-a beautiful, useless insect, with
out wings, whose colors fade on being re-
moved from the sunshine. ast Fl 81
The man who, by mistake took drink
from bottle Of mucilage, says he has felt
stuck up ever since.
A writer on school discipline, says -
Without liberal use of the rod it is impos-
sible to make boys smart. .'..s-
Jefferson Davis and General Grant in no
way resemble each other. JEFF. accepts
nothing Grant everything. s1l
The marrying man of the period, in cal
culating his brides dowry, adopts the rule
of''dot' and carry two.
A man in Kansas, on whose shoulder
lady laid lash didn't sue for damages be-
cause it was an eye-lash.
A carriage-maker thinks the elliptic steel
springs are about as healthy mineral springs
as there are.
Many child sings L want to be an an.
GEL who would be more satisfactory if he
wanted to be good boy
A smart young lady says her idea Of a
good home is a place where 'cohwebs and
kisses never 60 together ata-
Why is the first chicken of brood like
the main mast of vessel? Because it is
little forward of the main hatch.
Distant relations-people who imagine
they have claim to rob you if you are
rich, and to insult you if you are poor. !
A negro once gave the following toast
De Gubernor OBJ our State. He come in
wild very little opposition he 60 out wild
none at ALL sz4
is that dog of yours cross breed?' ask
ed gentleman Of canine vender. NO,
EUR; his mother was very gentle and affec-
tionate creature.
The young ladies Of New Haven are
learning to play the violin. The idea of
having four strings to their bow is fascina-
ting. "-Aa
1t is unjust to blame man who dosen't
advertise because his prices are high. He
has to make them high because his sales are
80 small.
Tho propeller and her pilot have this with
other variations: one has its wheel at the
stern, and the other has its turn at the
wheel. -4s- b.. ..-t. .a.f
To destroy ants. the best plan is. proba-
bly, to catch the ant with pair of tweezers
and hit him square on the head with a
sledge- hammer
Are dose bells ringing for 6rcT inquired
Simon of Tiberius. No, indeed answered
Tibe, 'dey got plenty of fire and de bells
are ringing for water
A western lover says Of his parting from
his adored one: Her last words fell like
great rocks into the sea Of my sorrow, and
splashed the briny waters into my eyes
DR.. Chaplin wittily remarked, not long
since, that in trying to gain two seconds in
getting on and off trains. many men had &C.
cured widows their thirds.
There is young lady in Camden study.
ing Latin. She has a beau. He asked her
what sic transit gloria mupdi meant. She
translated it, 'come and see me on Mon
day
You'd better look out for yer hoss's foot
above here, mister said a ragged boy to a
Riding traveller. why? said the gentle
man. nervously pulling up. Cos theirs
fork in the road there vas the candid re.
ply
What is your consolation in life and
death2 asked Sunday school superintendent
of young lady in Bible class who blush
ed and said:
I'D rather be excused from speaking his
name ~ i. sF.sls .tEBt
When lovers in the starlight walk.
How do they entertain, vet talk
Not even of the weather.
How make the time SO swift elapse.
Yet often not their lips? Perhaps
BY pressing them together. t9; r
He took her fancy when he came; he took
her hand, he took kiss; he took no notice
of the shame that glowed her happy cheek
in this. He took to coming afternoons; he
took an oath he'd meier deceive, he took her
mothers silver spoons, and after that be took
bis leave.