Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-08-29
Surf Bathing at Long Braueh.

AASAA a hNheoA w ehO AOAdAusl
/ have come to two conclusions aftel
watching people bathe for half a dozer
mornings The first one is, if | were 9
pretty woman, never would bathe pub
licly. The second, were | an ugly one
| should always bathe in privacy. Any
woman observing one or both these con.
clusions saves herself from salt water
criticism. What ones bitterest enemy
fails to detect, the surface makes mani
fest. There goes woman in her bath
house with mountain of hair, waist
round as a pine tree, and No. 4
boots. watch for her. She comes
out in blue flannel blouse, with A
head like a mans, her actual hair
not being more than two inches
long. Her feet, predestined for No. SIS,
bear evidence of having been sadly dis
torted. The water Aattens her figure
and her roundness elongates horizon
tally. She is a belle at her hotel,
though, and the beaux who never saw
this Venus emerge from the bath, shower
her with many compliments. 1t is
high noon now, the flags are fully out,
and the beach is alive with bathers and
spectators Groups sit about on the
sand in bright morning costume, giving
plcturesqueness to the scene. An elderly
woman, in crimson flannel, with white
stripes, approaches group of girls seat
ed on a spread-out waterproof, with
the ejaculation, Do you know your
mother2 Then the girls laugh, and
follow with their eyes the stout soul as
she struggles in the waves, growing more
and more ugly as she soaks. "How are
you, ShadY' shouts a man to his sister,
as, emerging from different "boxes,"
they meet for mutual help in the sea.
He, confident and full of nerve, enters
boldly; she, timid and feeling like some
body else in her prosaic garb, minces
along, wishes she could turn into some
thing infinitely smaller, and squats
down IN the water as soon as her feet
are wet, and begins to scream. Ofcourse
the man does his duty-carries her out
until the water encircles her neck, when
a breaker washes over her head and she
is fully initiated. She concludes she can
neither look nor feel any worse, and so
decides to enjoy it. A yard from the
shore a man is beckoning to what we
conclude to be a woman. Come out
here, Ill take care of youl" he shouts.
She seems not to hear, and the fellow,
with few arm strokes, reaches her
and endeavors to take her by force.
" Indeed, sir, }" she says, turning
from him with dignity, "I would
be obliged to you if you would be
less familiar" =" why, it's Tomp shouts
another, and the Lady turns back at
Tom s jolly laugh to recognize her lover. !
Why, is it you2 | never dreamed had
seen such an object beforel" and they
10Th laughed together, and probably love
Zach other all the better for the moment
Try misunderstanding. But, now may
I'D ocean tremble, for full three hundred
pounds Of feminine avoirdupois has de-
ided to bathe. She belongs to that
lass of dowagers who totter over the
floor, making all feel quiv-
ring sense of their presence. Now, a {
lnk woman isn't poetic, nor artistic
or any of the other euphonious les in I
he water, but she isn't vulgar. But put t
fat woman-a two hundred FOUNDER,
)r instance-in the surt, and she makes
ou wish nobody were around to look at Q
er. The loafers smoking on the beach 7
iggle and make comments as the surf 4
lakes the outlines of her pudginess
lore and more statuesque, while she, I
bod soul, serene in her own fatness, as
lmes all the phases of ludicrous atti- \
lde, until the beach is turned into q
Ieater of lively grinners. q