Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-02-02

Il
Ooun ties OF the State, and It's Circulation i,
steadily increasing ,,aEe2Fc III
a-uuuu.. -. -. -
-ie1i7 lW1TAND WISDOM =
There is a lady in Oshkosh who has
been married SIX times, twice to the
same man, divorced three times, twice
from the same man, and is now a
Widow-as 1edJ Il ,sjIo1 -iiiIfs1i.-iJ
The drouth in New York has got so
bad that the milks speddlers have to give
up part of their customers, because there
Is is,i1s not wa water e gS e extend the supply Of
- - f,a,,so,Is odVT TysdduH III u
A correspondent ,o6 the New York
Tri6sne says Miss Mary Grew Is ! a wo-
man "not young, save with the youth
of the immortals; not beautiful. save
with the beauty of the SPIRIT iGdt
sd King William has sent the sword
that NAPOLEON .III.) surrendered at
Sedan to, be hung beside the one that
7. gave up to, Blucher at
Waterloo, in the Prussian MiIitary Col
lege at Beriin.aiG'!9d Ell - 701Sh
B An; ingenious young woman. h having
heard that Mr.. Jefferson had made a
fortune by playing Rip Van Wrinkle,
wondered, when she saw him in the
character, why. he didn't wear better
Clothes. fos5Dls3s'I = -t''f.s'E - =,
The reason given BY one of the intel
Ilgent Democratic Senators of Virginia
for voting for portrait of Robert E.
Lee was s'that Lee fit and fit until he
couldn't fought no longer, and then gin
~e-F1f4i h.e raii7i11
Not long since premium was offered
by an agricultural society for the best
mode of Irrigation, and the latter word,
by mistake of the printer, having been
changed to 'sirritation,' farmer sent
his wife to get the prize.
''What shall we do with women ?u
asked a suffrage Senator of the newly
elected Senator Blair. Lets liauorn
Click herr was the instantaneous and
Characteristic reply. sIsd 90
Among the 900 divorces granted in
Vermont this year, the wife acEnowl-
edged to have originated the difficulty
in 2l1 of the cises. -. -,-..-,-
Grant isn't much of smoker after
all; in comparison with Won Beust, the
Austrian minister, whose minimum is
forty cigars day. % H.i lio-
A Buffalo man aggravates his wife by
tive bands of Grape on his hat,
which constantly reminds her that she
Is the sixth sharer of his affections.
A lady in Fond du Lac slipped ON the
ice and broke her leg, and the first re-
mark she made after the accident was,
81 wonder If Harry will marry me
nOw."
A charitable Cincinnati gentleman
keeps a pair of dogs chained at his
front door, 50 that poor people who stop
to Hget a bite' can be accommodated
without going in the house.
A Boston woman has sued her son,
who has supported the family ever
since ne was nineteen years old, for
s. ,O00, for services as housekeeper. The
Supreme Court awarded her Sl0O.
Mrs. Malaprop is a very just person
and never favors any one unduly. She,
therefore, did not approve of the
eclipse being "partial, and thinks the
ought to have known better
than to take any notice of it.
A woman at Lafayette was advised
to hold laudanum in her mouth for
toothache, but as her mouth leaked,
and she forgot to stop the hole, the
laudanum got amongst her victuals.
She wears the latest style of wings
HOver there"
A call is made for female rights lee
turers among the Chunchos of South
America, who won't eat women, in
sisting that it isn't as good as man.
A Kiss, says French authoress, gives
more pleasure than anything else in the
world. But Puck declares that woman
evidently never experienced the child
ish rapture of descending the parlor
stairs by sliding down the bannisters.
IN Y. Com. Adr. -,
An energetic lady doctor of Buffalo,
Mrs. DIR. Cook, had an income last year
Of nearly 10, 900 from her medical prac-
ice. 1t appears that the professional
income of her husband, who is also a
practical physician, was about $1,000
Or the same year.
= The Davenport (Iewa) Gdzetts says:
: 1t is currently reported that Governor
Merrill, on recent visit to the State
Penitentiary, commenced speech to
he prisoners by remarking that he
Was glad to see so many therep This
vas followed by no applanse-on the
contrary, by an awkward pause-and
hen the Governor took back what he
N III xx-itb xxyhat orvoao ho could Y,,.,S-
.er." ie-r.s -sfr. oao .r5
Some wretch has stolen the thermom-
ster from the office of the Fond du Lac
Reporter. The paper informs the thief
hat it will be of no use to him where
ne is going, as it does not work higher
han three hundred and thirteen.
An attorney once asked Mr.. Beecher,
'Supposing that the parsons and the
levl should litigate cause, which
,arty do you think would gain it,"
THE devil, no doubt" replied Mr..
Beecher, ''as he would have all the
awyers on his side"
We are told that ex-Seeretary Seward
mas been unable, through paralysis, to
lift glass of water to his lips for the
asst two years. The Chicago Tribune
commenting on the fact, remarks that
,ne or two Senators in Congress have
been similarly afflicted, with the excep-
ion that their indisposition was not
:aused by paralysis. ~
Colored farmers, representing eleven
counties of Texas, have been in conven-
ion in Houston. THE main object Of
he convention seemed to be to encour-
.ge the colored race to secure lands of
heir own as fast as they were able to
pay for them, and engage in the culti-
pation of the soil, instead of remaining
,bout our towns and villages, and de
upon the precarious means Of
support there to be obtained.