Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1871-10-21

The Old Family Journal.

A widower has remarked, that when man
loses his wife, il is his first duty ,ncry over the
loss-tben it becomes habit, aud at last plea
sure.
A San Francisco doctor a'lvertSeS fora Cool
Office eat lie has already received 24S tcliues,
with the Southern counties vet to hear
FROM"
a Warsaw man saw a war among the wives
and widows Of Warsaw, an,lremarks that "Of
al the wars we ever saw, VIC never saw war
Ike that war we saw among the wives and
widows of Warsaw"
The little child Of AIadam R,taza, nee PIN
cess Maria, BouaparE, is to be simply called
Roma, Isabella. Alexandria, Italia, Maria, L.
tia Alice. Poor thing, has she no middle
name nor nothing.
Talk about your square root and cube root,
but the root Of hog at Sparta, No, that root
ed up $1,000 in gold which its owner bur
ried and forgot where is the rO0tiest root yet
rooted.
What does the minister say Of our new
oemetary - asked Mr. Hines. "lIe don't like
it at all; he says he wont be buried there long as
heliyes "Well," said Hines, if the Lord
spares my life, viii.
1t was a wise negro who, in speaking Of the
happiness of married people, said Datar
ponds altogedder on how dey JOY deyselves. "
a French wit said Of man who was exceed
ingly fat that nature only made him to show
how the human skin would stretch without
breaking.
A chicago girl broke of her engagement with
a young man for the reason that be sneezes in
his sleep. Ifitwouldn't be impertinent, we
would like to know how she found it out.
A western girl, after giving her lover hasty
smack, exclaimed, Dog my cats, if you hain't
been takin' little rye, old hOss."
Arch man asked a poor person If he had any
idea of the advantages arising from riches Il
believe they give a rogue an advantage over an
honest man," was the answer.
A green I'm, who had never before seen Il
steamboat, fell through the hatchwsy, down
into the hold, and being unhurt, thus loudly
expressed bis surprise. "Well, ifthO burned
thing amt boiler"
An Elmira editor, speaking Of the marriage
Of a brother quill, says: It's sad, this par
ting with old friends, One by one they drop
off and double up"
As obituary notice says. q" the deceased had
been for several years director Of bank,
notwithstanding which he died Christian, aud
universally respected"
Mamma" said little girl to her mother
doyou know how get to bed quick p No, -
was the reply. Well, said she in great glee,
l step one foot over the crib then say rats, 50
and Brighten myself right in."
KEEP Your Best CALvES.-Many farmers,
for an extra dollar or two sell their best calves
to the butcher, and raise such as are not so
valuable and think they gain by the practice
but the few dollars they think they made
would in many cases be worth at the milking
age of the stock, if the best had been kept,
more than thirty dollars instead Of q dollar or
two.
ToURIsT.-" And how old are you, Paddy %
Paddy" Thirty-Gyo next Miehaelmas, yer
honor at YOU count be years but af you wor
to reckon me age be all the coOrtin', diversions,
and divilmeut I've had me share av' you might
safely set me down as seyenty-6ye."
A city minister says be once preached on
The recognition of friends in the future, and
was told by bearer, after service, thatit would
be more to the point to preach aeoutthe recog-
milton Of friends here; as he had been in the
church twenty years and didn't know any.
4 wise old gentleman, who knew all about
it on retiring from business gave tho following
sage advice to his son and successor: 'Com-
mon sense, my son, is valuable in all kinds Of
buisuess-except loye-makins'
John Brougham's "Tread light, for my heart
is under your feet, love, is more than cqualled
BY lover who thus goes skating on his ladys
heart:
&" Nv heart is like a frozen lake,
On whose cold brink I stand,
On, buckle on my spirits skate,
And take me BY the hand
And lead. thou loving saints the way
To where the ice is thin.
That IL NAV break beneath my feet,
And let a lover in
HONEYMOON EXPERIENCES.-Mr. Beecher
lately said, " 10 IS astonishing what revelations
are made to young married people The man
goes about among his friends, saying" The
Lord has doBe great things for nc. There never
was such a woman - have known when that
lasted all their life long-and | have known
cases whereit didn't. The fairest young couple
are flesh and blood, and some iufrmities they
must discover in each other. Yetyou can look
but kindly on the first flush Of such an expert
ence?"
a teacher in a school that stood on the banks
Of a small river, once wished to communicate
10 her pupils All idea Of faith. While she was
trying to explain the meaning Of the word.
smallcovercd boat hove in sight. Selling upon
the incident for an Illustration, she exclaimed.