The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-09-16
VARIETY.

sa VARIETY.
N ,cens--[lnse you taken any remedy? Patient
ID. "a. I.se took lots of physic.
Fhs1 1iaryIaud men want a divorce without
uIcit4 they take their wives out fishing and
IL et the bosE
doscn;-oes don't like carbolic acid a few
- s,zi1kisd in a room will scatter them ef-
.1,te Nat fork Herald shrewdly suggests that
.#o 1st man in these days can afford the
'E14 qnarrel with a newspaper"
.9 zss between cousins are allowable in
<-<<1, and the result is said to be clearly Wis
"a the IDIOT and lunatic asylums of the State.
Wiscozzsin man applied for divorce ON the
nnd that bis wife had become weak and
ouIdn'c HcEk on the farm as she used to.''
Irren<fen1an trying 20 describe to friend the
utifni uanner in which his fdnoee'S hair was
Anzsd. aid: sit was frizzled in front, and
asf;ed nri scrambled at the back
C'rnnkIin aid: a newspaper and Bible
v-s7xy ho1se, and good school in every dis
+, Ars TIE principal supporters of virtue, mo
i- snd evil liberty
a r. z.o<yof William Tell and the apple is said
k beeI distinctly told in an ancient Persian
IT, 1cfits lust discovered in the library at
|. trpnk alctory out West was lately superse-
ff 1Ye loon. The old sign (It is reported)
rstainod by the new proprietor, who econo-
c1liS utnnged the I. to ID.
IL 4sH 0rleans lawyer eontended that a wo-
ob.iged 30 work for the support Of family
Aiidrs1 has moral right to get drunk, for it
kos her forget ber wretchedness.
girl, p-esenting herself at a house where
= , Irish nsed apply" in answer to the question
1Ee ehe eane from, d" Sure, couldn't you per-
} ~ me sccint that it's French am?''
biis'zippi negro was recently set upon by a
rissd pnrty, and kukluxed. He said his as
9n2 Esre all coiored men, and when asked
be Knew, triumphantly replied, '' smelt um,
\t14 I'D &oKE.-French Communist-AHonS,
z44, Et ns 90 and burn our incense ON the
" a 9a3>lity. British Workman-Tbanks,
ri. I'd rather smoke my baecy on the
y Literty.
So fxc341se says that Dr. Livingstone is the
~ tE4Fer " no does not write letters or make
3trt1' ~. he does what is in infinitely worse.
keeps t1e world in a state of painful uncer-
nsy - % hos many times man can prudently
ne 1t1sF by little shaver was expatiating
sne lnlnrions effects of tobacco. Said he,
ne OF Of to1aeco is 50 poisonous that a single
p of y On he end OF dogs tail, will kill
in mlhute.' The boy had got things
tb1ly mixed.
An item ha8 been going the rounds about an
Sp5ic man, 10 Findlay, Ohio, who rushed into
ming grocery, and brought out three kegs of
rpcTder, tie explosion OF which would Fave
Dfcyed much property. 1t is now asserted
! be thongbt the kegs contained brandy, and
thzt reason rushed in to save them.
d b Indiana girl, who fell in love with fellow.
a 20 miles with revolver in her hand, to
!, 70 The chap was chOpping in the woods, and
s1i11 if he didn't marry her she would make
rnA through him. The wedding came off
r<;ez1oon- He said he never would quarrel
n E1man about little thing like that
= ~ Lnyron is the Cincinnati Bret Harte
gtFps p[ poem constructed by him for the
s;rE Il pleasant:
~ti1k piz-zer-ing-tum high,
IL kt 4l-de-lOrum low
Eh<n, from this mean, little -.reFfe
: @ Z Iaek up my traps and go?"
liL uE FOR A PHoToGRAPH.-"Io De ne
pW photograph,' said a dashing belle 70 :
-, Fno had been annoying her with bis
a. he gentleman was delighted, and I
!, u. 4ne the lady received the picture. She /
,43 servant, with the question, IS Would |
% '. 49,, - original If he should call?'' The
snt 1sPi@ in the affirmative. "WeII. when
S''c eo1.es tell him am engaged
2cls - 11 Como Annual for 1870 cor1mn
20 tne ioiiowing from coutribntor .sSn.
~ had tomb cat that dyd. Beino q TO-
-'-ls -na crate fayerit, we had him her
ne 1uerolan and for the sake of inr;cb-
81 y. ,ef -'ie, had the carkis late nnder a.
2 snzberry bush. The frute be;nr, -, . .iTI
+ snooth kind. But the next sasons ~.
'Hz ,ps cat was berried, the guzberries yVas
y, e41 more remarkabul, the catern;is-s
], me bush was all of the same bair1 J;s
-kf QUARRELLING ABOUT BscoS Am
Jefferson having invited Patrick
81 Ee at one of the artistic feasts. the
pf his celebrated French cook was
nd that the governor declined 70
and every one of the elegant and /
~. IONS OF the accomplished French
- -, last, having run through the
Z dent begged that Gov. Henry
- 4.%t ne would have. "I will tbani 1
t.. @ <ome bacon and green's was the
mr. Jefferson could hardly restrain
1l f1ss Y. 80 noYela demand, and beoped that
zSErof Fouid excuse him, on acco1nt of his /
So eresn0s from Virginia, for forgetting that
~. s15a q dish still in demand snone civil
: k:eP'e A. bacon and green's" Mr.. Henrv
20 t1fps me reproof, and when he returned
ne denounced Mr.. jefferson ss as t-o;-
- 1eteral vittals." On the other hand |
=. rea LETT on record his opinion of pa
az man of low tastes and vnI1a,
'-NeSO Orleans Times.