The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-10-05
Choosing Husbands.

"Whcn girl marricS. why do people
talk Of her choice: III ninetY-ninc eases
out Of 4 hundred. has she any choice
Does not the man Nrobally the last she
would have choscn) select herr"
4 very clever correspondent has sent us
Il letter containing tits query. and she
makes out her case ably. She says: g
have been married many years the match
was considered Il very good one, suitable in
every rcSpcct-agc. position, and fortune.
Every one said | had mace good choice.
band when ! married him because he had
by unwcaried a>Sidrity succeeded in gain,
ing my affections; but had choice been my
privilege certainly should not have chosen
him. As | look lit him in his easy chair, !,
huge du@ at his feet, pipe pCcping out OF
one OF the many pockets Of his shooting
coat, can but think how different he is
from what would have chosen. My first
pcn"t!ant was for a fashionable clergyman
4 perfect hd0niS. He was iiattcrer. and
!iG cared hut liIt!" for me, though | have
nn: vi forgotten he t'aii.c If his dc-crtion.
Nv iirXt wa i harrlstcr--a young man Of
immense taiCnt. smooth, insin,lttin, MAN.
n@r1; hl;t h.. too. after talking. walking,
dancing. and ilulinc, lett me in the lurcll.
Either Of these would have been my
CHOICE, bad | 81 chosen; but my present
husband chose NE, and therefore married
h}m: and this. [ cannot help thinking,
lIusl lie the Way with half the maIllc.l folks
OF ny acquaintance
There T. both sound sense and truth in
this; hu: i it not hetlcr that men should
choose llitn that they should he chosen
Ind II not Our correspondent probably
much happier with her present husband.
shnr:i u.- Jacket, plnc. and dog, inclusive,
a, tt,1
fashionable Clergyman OF the clever bulliS-
ter . Men aIc proyCrhially incoustant, and
atJcr m1rrialsc. when The trouble and incon-
ycll!cnCc OF children are beginning to he
felt. ard when (thc m0St trying time of ull)
the wife lcgirs to neglect her husband for
her children. unless there was originally 4
ycrv strong attachment on the husband S
Side, there i little chance OF happiness. D
Wire's affection, on the contrary, always
increases after marriage; and even il she
We're indifferent before, no well-diSpoScG
woman can help Loving the father Of her
children. Children on her side are bond
OF union, and though she may appear for
them to neglect some of those little atten-
tons which men naturally seem to expect,
It is Only because the child Is the more
helpless being Of the two, and the true
woman always takes the side Of those who
are most feeble.
It is a strange but melancholy fact that
when young girls fancy themselves in love
they are seldom, If ever, happy il they
mary the object of their choice. The fact
is in mast cases they tiad the husband they
have chosen quite 4 different person as an
individual! from the imaginary object he had
arpearcd as Il lover. The imagination in
most gills is stronger than the Judgment,
and as soon as the first idea OF love is
awakened in female heart the Imagination
j. set to work to fancy Il lover, and all pos
sihle and impossible PROJECTIONS are assem-
bed together in the young girls mind TO
cncow the object of her secret iGolatry.
The first man whose appearance ard man.
ncrs attract girl on her entrance into So
cicty is generally invested by her with the
halo of these secret thoughts, and she fam
cics herself violently i'll love without the
least real knowledge of the man she sup
noses herself in love with. No wonder,
then. that if she marries she is miserable.
'rhe object of her love has vanished, never
TO return. and she finds herself chained for
life To man she deteSts, because she fam
cies she las been deceived in him.
On the other hand, the man who, with
very pnrl'onable vanity, fancled himself
loved for his own merits, ard who was per-
t,ctlv unconscious OF the secret decisions OF
the rifi, tCcOItlcS, men lc AIus ASI Sii''uS gu
after marriage, quite indignant ut her Gu
rricc. The friends and relations OH both
sides share in the same feelings" what
would she have ?" they cry -" she married
for love, and see the consequence
The consequences are, indeed, in such
cases, generally sad enough. When the
first dclusion is dis>inatcd, and the truth,
in aIits hard and stern reality, comes forth
from the veil that has been thrown around
it, both parties feel indignant at the false
position in which they find themselves.
Mutual recriminations take place, each ac-
cusing the other OF deceit and lngratttude !;
while the apparent I'M Justice OF THESE accu-
sations, which is felt by each party ai'ef-
natrly. 1jrst wounds the feelings, and then,
if rcncatcd, rankles in thc wound till 1t be-
.op,n. ipc1Irs Baltimore Sun.