The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-05-05
SPIRIT OF THE PRESS.
EDITORIAL OPINIONS OF THE LEADING JOURNALS
UPON CURRENT ToPIos-ooMPILED EVERY
DAY FOR THE EVENING TELEGRAPH.
ROASTING OF BONES.

BOASTING OF BONES.
From, the N. Y. World.
The Philadelphians are greatly elated be-
cause of the discovery of a deposit of dry
bones in the neighborhood of the city.
Hitherto the peaceful dispositions of these
amiable provincials have been disturbed by
the successes of other cities New York has
sadly annoyed the Philadelphians because it
has surpassed the Quaker City in population,
trade, and political Importance. Boston has
been q beam in the Philadelphian eye because
that really thrifty New England community
haslproduced number of comparatively clever
literary men. Chicago has outstripped Phila-
delphia in the commission of crime, and Gin
cinnati has beaten it in point of pigs. Envy
and jealousy have thus tormented our other
wise mild and excellent neighbor. Now,
however, there is a change. Henceforth the
Philadelphian calmly confronts the world,
and, strong in the possession of post-pliocene
remains, cries out exultantly TO the inhabi-
tants of less favored cities, Bring out your
bones" And since Boston can boast no
more important bones than the charred and
useless skeletons of departed witches, and
New York can show no mortuary remains
more interesting than those of casual Phila-
delphia roughs slaughtered by hasty but we'll
meaning metropolitan murderers, Philadel-
phia resigns herself to the cheerful growing
characteristic of the contented mind.
The post-pliocene remains concerning
which the provincial press prints columns of
ecstatic description were recently discovered
in a cave opened by the labor of unscientifc
quarrymen. A horde of scientific persons
focked to the spot, and carefully collected
the frail skeletons that strewed the floor of
the post-pliocene cavern. Among these were
found vast variety OF organic remains. The
blood thirsty beetle was numerously repre-
to1. how, &c
kind rewarded the spectacled search of the
kneeling savants. The fierce feld-mouse
and The ferocious frog the wild wood
rat and the terrible turkey, the san
culinary snipe and the carnivorous cat
all slept the sleep of death in an emil
nently bony condition upon the bottom
of the wonderful cave. The scientific per-
sons gathered these priceless relics together
with rapturous joy, and carefully carried
them to a safe place, there to remain until
Philadelphia should build a suitable museum
wherein they may be exhibited to the amaze
ment and discontinue of visitors from other
and boneless cities. Meanwhile each scien-
tific person is understood to be writing at
great length, and in the most deliberately
scientific style, upon the subject, while every
Pennsylvania paper trumpets forth the
praises of its capital city and its contiguous
bone-cave.
The effect of all this upon the unpreju-
diced metropolitan mind is twofold. At first
we are prompt to perceive the strong resem-
blance between the Philadelphia of to-day and
the Philadelphia of the post -pliocene period.
The harmless and truly rural character of the
population seems never to have changed 1t
is true that q considerable aggregate of
human beings has been added to the cats and
feld-mice of former period, but the essen
tial nature of the average Philadelphian has
not been greatly modified. If some species
have diminished, others have taken their
place. The clustering beetle has vanished,
but in his stead the fierce Quaker roams the
rectangular streets. The wild note of the
musical snipe has ceased to echo in the lonely
wastes of Chestnut and Walnut streets, but
the strident shrek of the female medical
student seeking to enforce her natural righi
to dissect her fellow-creatures breaks often
upon the listening ear. What Philadelphia
was in the post-pliocene period she still is to-
day. Only in earlier and happier days nc
vain phantom of direct trade with Europe
mocked and maddened the eoleopterous and
ornithological inhabitants.
The other reflection which will occur to the
cool and impartial reader of the record o1
these Philadelphiah wonders is that, after all
these boasted bones may not be of extreme
antiquity. The very age assigned to then
by the scientific persons is possible equivo
cation. Are we not all living in period
subsequent to that known as the pliocene
Is this not, therefore, really q post-pliocene
period? And then, are there not ield-mic'
and cats and beetles still living upon the sur
face of the earth? We would not for the
world dash the delight of the Philadelphian
by assuming that their post-pliocene bone
are wholly modern; but it is our duty to eau
tion them, lest in their inconsiderate Joy the
eanonize the cat of yesterday and the turke
of last Thanksgiving, under the delusion tina
they are paying honor to bones of incalcula
BILE antiquity.