The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1871-11-16
A Melting Story.

One winter evening a country store.
keeper in the Green Mountain State was
about closing up for the night, and while
standing in the snow outside. putting up
the window shutters, saw through the
glass lounging, worthless fellow within
grab a pound of fresh butter from the
shelf, aud conceal it in his hat.
The act was no sooner detected than
the revenge was hit upon, and very few
minutes found the Green Mountain store
keeper at once indulging his appetite for
fun to the fullest extent, and paying off
the thief with facetious sort of torture,
for which he would have gained premium
from the old Inquisition.
81 say, Seth" said the storekeepcr,
coming in and closing the door after him,
slapping his hand over his shoulders and
stamping the snow off his feet.
Seth had his hand on the floor, his hat
on his head, and the roll of butter in his
hat, anxious to make his exit as soon as
possible.
81 say, Seth, sit down reckon now
on such a could night as this, little
something warm would not hurt fellow"
Seth felt very uncertain he had the
butter aud was exceedingly anxious to
be off, but the temptation of something
warm sadly interfered with his resolution
to go. The hesitation, however, was
soon settled, by the right owner of the
butter taking Seth by the shoulders aud
planting him in seat close to the stove,
where he was in such a manner cornered
IN hu Il, hot Il; IL
the grocer stood before him there was no
possibility of him getting out, and right
in this very place the storekeeper sat
down.
"Seth, we'll have little warm Santa
Cruz" said the grocer so he opened the
stove door, and stuffed in as many sticks
as it would admit "Without it you'd
freeze going home such night as this. ;"
Seth already felt the butter settling
down closer to his hair, and he jumped
up, declaring he must go.
Not till you have something warm
Seth. Seth, come, I've got story to tell
you" and Seth was again rushed into his
seat by his cunning tormentor.
"Oh it's so hot here" said the petty
thief, attempting to rise
''Slt down don't be in such hurry"
retorted the grocer, pushing him back
into the chair.
"But I've got the COWS to fodder, and
the wood to split, must be going" said
the prosecuted chap.
But you mustn't tear yourself away,
Seth, in this manner. Sit down, let the
COWS take care of themselves, and keep
yourself cool !; you appear to be a little
tidgety," said the roguish grocer with a
wicked leer.
The next thing was the production of
two smoking glasses of hot toddy, the very
sight of which, in Seth's present situation,
would have made the hair stand erect
upon his head had it not been well oiled
and kept down by the butter.
"Seth, | will give you toast now, and
you can butter it yourself" said the
grocer, with an air of such consummate
simplicity that poor Seth believed him
self uDsuspected. "Seth, here's-here' S
Christmas goose, we'll roasted, eh ? l
tell you it's the greatest eating in crea-
ton. And, Seth, don't you ever use
hogs fat or common cooking butter to
baste it with j; come, take your butter
[ mean take your toddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke as we'll
as melt, and his mouth was hermetically
sealed up. as though he had been born
dumb Streak after streak of the butter
came pouring from under his hat aud his
handk kerehief was already soaked with
the greasy overflow Talking away as il
nothing was the matter, the funloving
grocer kept stniiing wood into the stove
while poor Seth sat upright, with his back
against the counter and his knees touch
ing red hot furnace before.
Gold night, this" said the grocer
"Why, Seth, you seem to perspire as if
you were warm. Why don't you take
your hat OF ? Here, let me put your
hat away"
NO. exclaimed poor Seth at last
mo, | must 60, let me out, | amt well
let me 90"
A greasy cataract was now pouring
down the poor mans face and neck. and
soaking into his clothes, and trick ling
down his body into his boots, so that he
was literally in bath of oil
well, good night, Seth" said the
humorous Vermonter, elf you will go ;
and adding as he darted out of the door
II say, Seth, reckon the fun have had
out Of you is worth ninepence So shan 7
charge you for that pound of butter in
your hat"