Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-01-21
The Rooster-P Pecked Wife.

The following article contains (as VIC
humbly think some errors in Natural His
tory. Who ever saw hen scratching up
worms for cock? But we strongly sus-
pect there is concealed under the rural
picture an attack upon some of. the oldest
institutions of society. Do you ask, oh,
conceitcd critic! what this seeming contra.
diction means, and why VIC should print
what VIC so much suspect aud disapprove !!
We answer in the words of Shakespeare
modernizcd-
"There are more things in heaven and Garth,
Old Bachelor,
Than are dreampt of in your philosophy.
SCENE FIRST.
Mrs. Biddy Chanticleer scratches for her
breakfast. y. Chanticleer, ESQ, from the
top rail Of the barn fence, becomes cogui-
zant of the fact, and struts with dignity
toward his little spouse.
Biddy-" Good morning, my DEAR"
o. G. Esq.-Morning, madam; quite
enjoying yourself, madam; of course you
are not aware of the fact that have been
up for more than an hour, and have not
yet eaten mouthful? Is this what mar
ried you for, madam? lGives her a point
cd salute on the anclc. Where are your
domestic qualities, madam? [Imprnts a
mark of affection on the top of her head I
Where was your smile Of affection when
you saw me getting Oft the fence? I watch.
ed you, madam! Where was your tender
female solcitude when you bohcld mc
looking weakly for the want of little
nourshmcnt? Where, I repeat, is my
break fast? Cock a doodle do"'
Biddy (mcckly,) "uavc worm"
SCENE SECOND.
Mrs. Biddy Chanticlccr lays her first
egg, and has invited two or three female
friends to help cacklc 70. G. Esq being
aLscnt.]
Mrs. Biddy. cent, cut, cut.a.a.a cut,
cut, cut-a a-;-a cut ?"
Mrs. partlctt. "Qua, qua, qua, cut-a-a-
cut p
Mrs. Pcnfcathcr. "Cluck. cluck, qua,
qua, cut, cut, cut, a-a-a-a cut" Is inter-
ruptcd by the sudden appearance of o. c.
Esq, who has just returned from stag
party.
.. G. Esq. "Cock- a.doodle.do! Now,
may patience be vouchsafed to INC to ask
Of you, madam, what docs all this mean !?
Here am l returning, careworn and OK.
haustcd. from the cxcitcmcnts and tcmpta-
tions of a dclusivc world, expecting to find
repose and peace in the quiet Of domestic
nest, instead Of which | discover you in
the midst of riot and dissipation. Madam,
insult not my penetration by denying it
l.aflirn that you are having party
Mrs. Biddy (aPprehensively) Not at
all, my dear; that is, at least, my friends
were just going by, aud stopped in quite
accidentally, and sc-tor you see. my dear,
I've laid an egg, cut, cut, eat, a-a-a-c-
that is, at least-yes, sir, we've laid an
egg"
Three female neichbOrs. simultaneously
Cut, cut, cut, eut-a-a-a-cut
&c. Esq. (majestically.) Peace, hens
Madam, what does all this eackling folly
mean ?"
[Exeunt hens, in Indignation.
q. C. Esq IL has become necessary,
at this stage OF our matrimonial career,
that should state. in mild bu, unmistaka-
be terms, my opinions regarding the ap-
IttHttaAL cputEt euu uudC< VI UluuODu.
FIRST, selfdcvotion. 1t has been the
decision of all rooster kind, for ages, and
therefore cannot be denied, that the crown
ing virtue Of the hen character is disinter-
estcdneSs- A true hen should be patient,
selfforgetfui, obedient, icnderiy solicitous
for her husbands little wants, delighiing
wholly and solely in the graceful and pleas
ant duties that cluster round the domestic
nest. On the contrary, l end you thinking
only how to crafty your own selfish tas,es
aud desires, instead Of displaying (as might
naturally be expected) some little sease Of
loneliness and melancholy at your husbands s
absence. return from q visit Of nearly
twelve hours, aud hnd you literally rejoie-
ing. Madam, l ask it Of you, is this true
heshood!
Seoood. A retiring disposlsioa, del
icste shrinking from contact vith the coarse
and sssyupasAsing verld, .. exclusive
isdi6ssssee 10 ell visAeut ths sasrsd cirele
Of the doocssie ssst o. The coetrary
End 20. gaddisg aaoss tie osAer hens Of
the ysrd, aakiag sPps;ss.ests, sesdieg
iaviiatioes- Again, l ask Of yoa, madam,
10 this true henhood!
"Third. Presdoa ftoa curiosity; true
hea never evisces the slightest interest 10
the sGairs Of her neighbors, scarcely in her
owo; she never inquiries concerning the
Whereabouts or actions OF her husband,
being perfectly assured that, wherever he
may be, and however arresrasccs at the
time may seem to tell against him..he is
ever acting with . view to the welfare OF
the domestic nest Ga the contrary, what
do end tn be the truth in regard to YOUR
self. Not a rooster raises his voice within
half mile Of the y,rl but you are able to
name him; not hen lays an egg, but
you begin to caekle"
Mrs. Biddy tmeekly.) "Trr laid an
egg. cut, cut, cut, cut a-a. No, mean
ye>, sir. we've laid aa egy."
q. G.. E-q. (~ith solcmn animation. J
e ies'rs laid an egg, And pray where Is