Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1871-04-24
Miseella,,eons.
A SLACK HUSBAND PUNISHED.

"Mr. Moncton," said my grandmother,
81 have no wood to burn to-day. What
shall do P'
..Oh, send Louisa to pickd up some,"
said the good man, making a stride toward
the door
But she has pickle up all she can find"
''Ihen let her break up some old stuff
''But she has broken up everything al
ready"
"Oh. well then, do the next best thing
i must be off, said the farmer, and off
he was, whistling as he went, and no
doubt wondering in his heart what the
next best thing would turn out to be.
Noon came and with it came my grand
father and four hungry laborers. My
grandmother stood in the kitchen spinning
on her great wheel and singing a pleas
ant little ditty; Louisa was securing in
the back room, and the cat sat purring on
the hearth before black and tireless chin
ney, while the table sat in the middle of
the room, spread for dinner with empty
dishes.
.'Well, wife, here we are," said my
grandfather cheeringly.
$50 see," replied she placidly; 'shave
you had good morning in the cornfield?"
why, yes, $3.50. But where is the
dinner9n
''In the pot on the door STEP Won't
you see if it is done2''
And on the door step, to be sure, sat the
great iron pot nicely covered, but not
looking particularly steamy. My grand
father raised the cover and there lay the
ingredients OF a nice, boiled dinner
everything prepared in the incest manner,
and the pot filled.with the clearest of water,
and all the vegetables as raw as they had
ever been. My grandfather stared and my
grandmother joined another roll to the
yarn upon the distaff, and began another
verse of her song.
why, woman what does this mean?"
begun my grandfather, Indignantly. This
dinner isn't cooked at all ?'
Dear me, is it not :? Why it has sat in
the sun these four hours.n
'Sat in the sun ~
"les, you told me to try the next best
thing to having fire, and l thought set
ting my dinner in the sun was about that"
My grandfather stood doubtful for
moment, but finally his sense of humor
overcame his sense of injury, and he
laughed aloud. Then picking up his hat,
he said:
Come, boys, we may as well start for
the woods We shall have no dinner till
we have earned it, l perceive"
Wont you have some bread and cheese
before you go?'' asked my grandmother,
generous in her victory, as women almost
always are. And so she won the day.
The cellar stairs in the old farm house
had become broken and SO unsafe that my
grandmother besieged her husband early
and late to repair them, lest some acci-
dent should happen. He always promised
to do so, and always forgot to fulfil his
promises. At last, one day, my grand
mother fell in going down, and spilled the
milk she was carrying.
"Are you hurt p asked my grandfather,
smoking his pipe beside the fire.
"No matter whether am or not" re-
turned the angry housewife, reappearing
with her empty pan. THAT is the last
time carry milk down those stairs until
they are mended.'
"Pease yourself and try the next best
way to get it down." said the husband, a
little vexed at her tone.
Il will" said my grandmother, and she
was as good as her word. The next eve-
ming my grandfather went down to the
cellar to draw some cider.
''What in thunder!' exclaimed he
nothing worse, assure you, for he was
not protane man-"what in thunder is
the matter down here? Why, woman,
your milk is all over the cellar bottom!"
'Is it9" replied my grandmother, tran
quilly. "Well, l think that is likely
enough falling so far"
Failing 50 far What do You mean?"
"Why, YOU know / said shouldn't car
ry the milk over those broken stairs again;
and you told me to try the next best way
of OpttinU il down and so | took uD a
board in the kitchen floor. threw down
| the pans, and then strained the milk down
into them"
The cellar stairs were mended next
day.