Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

Americans have the best dentists and the mos
bad teeth Of any people in the world. The Eng
ilsh have the best corn doctors and the mos
corns OF any people in the world. The German
nave the best lager and the fewest druukarls o.
any people in the world
There is something go chivslrous in killing q
man, you know, and Hunter Of Akron, O., who
was sentenced to death for killing the parents o
the girl he professed to love. was almost sufo-
Gated by the flowers, hugs and even kisses Of a
number OF women in the courtyard.
Dark hair, so long neglected and despised
among the ladies, is again in the asceudant.
tickle fashion having tired Of the blonde.
JeslOusy and bad feeling are so ripe in the
circles OF the New York Soross, it is said, that
the institution IS on the decline, and unless a
change for the better tskes place soon, the days
OF the club are numbered.
Mrs Umscheider Of Jersey City, gave birth to
four children, the other day. II this was the
hrst offence, We wouldn't expose her, but quad
ruplets are getting little too common
Visitors at Newport, who do not know the
parties, speak Of James Parton and his Fanny
Fern, as - that bouncing woman and her inval-
ID son"
1t beho0yes the officials Of the New York pen
itentiary to Sing Sing small, if the revelations
about them are true.
The Chicago Post has enriched the language
with new word "Spllitta ferribostassassir-
sanity" twill be olassed as an ezpetiye.
Planes are mounted now on glass oas:ors,
which are said to improve the tone very much.
The Princess Of Wales no longer walks with
the very perceph5le limp which was so fashion,
able during one or two seasons, and. a. a mat
ter Of course, the Alexandra limp is disap-
peariug from fashionable circles.
Somebody wants to know what has become of
Ida Lewis.
Negcsstle, Pa, has a sd case Of disappointed
love. A young laiy wss engaged to a young
man, who giving esr to SANDER, abruptly broke
of the engagement and msrIied another From
that time, though she had previously been
a strong, healthy girl, she declined rapidly, and
on Saturday last the was buIied-a victim Of
crushed hopes
It is reported that Capt Rolan Of the stesm
tug Starbuck, the boiler Of which exploded On
Saturday, killing George Williams. fireman, has
given the widow Of the deceased $50 in full set
tement Of her claims
An Illinois farmer hiss told his rat story. He
WAS going out TO his corn-cri5 the other morn
ing, he says, when he saw a large rat, with head
erect, carrying a full-sizsd ear Of corn in his
mouth, while ST the same time bis tail was wrap
ped around another large eSr. which he was
dragging behind hin.
A fellow with d" very bad coll' went into a
Chicago jewelry store 10 sample some diamonds.
After the fellow went out it WAS discovered that
some Of the samples hal gone 200. His bad
cold was very convenient, as a frequeu; use Of
his handkerchief rendered i- quite easy 10
Sc blow diamond into IT,
The editor Of the Louisville Courier-Journal
says there is bur one man in Kentucky who does
not wan, 20 60 20 the United Ststes Senate, and
the editor Of that lively sheet con6sses that he
is not the man.
An Old laiy, writing 90 her son cut West.
warns him to beware OF bilious saloons and bow
el alleys
Mr. Oige-, the famous English rai.cal, sc
eording to Justin Mccarthy, Is q e neat, bald,
decent AMI c0mmou-I lace looking little per-
son