The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-01-20
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
THE CAT.

Tho cat is called domestik animile,
but never hav bin able tew tell where
fore.
You kant trust one emmy more than you
kan a case ofthe gout. There iz only one
mortal thing you kan trust cat with,
and cum out even, and that iz bar of
hard soap.
They are az meek az mosiss, but az full
Of deviltry az Judas Iscaratt.
They will harvest n dozen NV yung
chickens for yu. and then steal into the
sitting room, az softly az an undertaken,
and lay themselfs down on the rug, at
yurs feet, full of injured innocence, aud
chicken, and dream of their childhoods
days.
All thare il about cat, that IL domes-
tik, that kno ov, il that yu kant looze
one.
You kant looze cat-thcy are az hard
10 looze ar bad reputation.
You may send one out NV the State,
dun up in meal-bag, and marked &c.
o. D., and the next morning you will
fnd him, or her (aecording tew sex), in
the same old spot, alongside ov the
kitchen stove, reddy to be stepped on.
Cats hav got two good ears for melody,
and often make the night atmosphear
melodious with their opera musk.
But the most wonderful thing about a
cat that has been discovered yet il their
fear of death.
Yu kant induce one, by emmy ordinary
means to accept Of death-they aktooally
skorn tev die.
Yu may kill one az much az yu have a
mind to, and they will begin life anew in
few miunitts, with moro fattering
prospectus.
Dogs love, they carry their criden-
tials in their faces, and kant hide them.
but the bulk of a cats reputation lays
in their stumuk, az unknown tew them
sels az tew ennYbody else.
Thare IL only one thing about cat l
like, and that IL, they are very Cheap
little money, well invested, will go crate
ways in cats.
Cats are very plenty in this world just
now. couated eighteen from my board
ing house winder one moonlite night last
summer, and it wasn't fustrate night for
cats neither.
THE KANGAROO.
The kangaroo is an overgrown monkey.
They are fello-citizens of Afrika, and
spend most oy their lezzure moments on
foot. They have four legs, but their
fore legs amt ov much use to them -
they do most ov their acktual bizness
with their hind legs. They travel good
deal az frog duz-on the jump.
Kangaroos are very valuable. in their
place, and Afrika is the place for them.
/ hav thought if the hole ov Afrika had
been planted with kensarooz, and none
ov it with other people, it would hav bin
full az good crop to know what to do
with.
Kangaroos liv upon roots, gras and
herbs, and kan outjump anything in the
wilderness. In the face they resemble
the deer, but in the length of theiz tails
they resemble whole herd of deer.
A kangaroo's tail il living kuriosity.
In its general habits it looks and axis
like rats tail, but in size you must mul.
tiply it BY six thousand and upwards.
What on arth kangaroo wants with
30 much tail haz bothered the philos-
ophers for ages, and understand that
lately, at one ov their scientifck meetings,
they hav give it up.
The philosophers git beat oftener than
anybody i kno ov, but they seldum Civ a
thing up; but the kangaroo's tail waz too
mutch for them.
But the kangaroo's tail don't ::bother
me any more than kites duz; bob
tailed kangaroo on the jump would act
just like bobtail kite duz in the air
Whenever cum acrost anything in natur
that l kant explain then kno at once
that it il all right, for nature never made
euny blunders in the animals: if she has
failed anywhere it IL in the man.
Natur gave man reazon, and showed
him how to use it, but man luvs to open
the throttle-valve and let reazon hum
This accounts for his running oph the
track SO often and Citing bust up. ]
never knew kanoaroo tn buet nm