The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-11-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


An exchange gives rs the following gem:
A Fenian over the water was called on for
toast He gave the following:
"lAll hail the American aigle
Troud bird Of freedom, all hail -
The fowl that no one can invaigle!
Or put salt on its beautiful tail.'
The latestluewspsporial attempt at grand TO-
ouence. descriptive of the Chicago fire, is as fol-
lows:
A correspondent of Cincinnati paper was at
the Chicago fire, and reports that "Northward
the hell-aIgel strobe to the emporium of rich
produce it was longing tor"
Here is plain of fraud:
An enterprising Yankee Is travelling around
among the negroes in Florida selling them pc.
culIar kind of oil, warranted to make their hair
grow foot long in length, and as straight as
white mans.
A Chnaman's account of the Chicago calamity
is as follows: "Melican lllish boy take kelosene
lamp and milk COW; COW kick over lamp; up 90
Chicago" Washington Star.
A senatorial preacher at Dixon invited his au.
dience to q choice literary discourse at public
hall in that city, on Sunday last, on these "hu.
morous" topics: "Heaven and He'll, what they
are; where they are; who they are; who are
in them, and what they are doing"
Does he know show it is himsef?'
A Carol county man purchased $24 worth Of
Quinine FOR his family one day last week. 1t
must be chilly in his fsnily.-Er.
Or in other words, there must be GOODNESS
in that family.
At Pella City, Iowa, school marin busted
rocking-chair all to hops over the head of Harry
DinsmOre, cause Harry refused to so home with
her from prayer-meeting. She was religious
CIR, but awful in the arm !-EI.
Iowa girls are generally extremely pious. The
girl above alluded to should go to Cape May, and
"interview" the author Of the following item:
George Alfred Townsend says that not five per
cent of the young ladies who soiourned at Cape
May "would fill the measure Of Il strong mans
arms" 1t ia evident that George has weakness
for something that is "fat, fair and forty"
Our noble President, who, like graveyard,
takes in all that comes along, has lately received
q ten thousand dollar set of table cutlery, with
silver handles, and other articles, from his Office
holding admirers in San Francisco. Wonder
how much of this ten thousand Was stolen from
the mint by Colonel o. H. La Grange, the COW.
ardly superintendent thereof who began his loyal
career by breaking Jail in Milwaukee? As said
the seXton SO says Grant:
1--WE gather them in-we gather them inn
-Pomeroys ~. Y Democrat
Colfax, the great American smilst, has been
heard from.
The Terre.hsut Malsays authoritatively that
Mr. Coalfex is again in quandary. He is not
certain whether he will devote himself to the
manufacture of nonexplos,ve tooth-picks or per-
funnel railway trucks. He will not under any
circumstance be q candidate for Office again.
As a talented business dog, we commend the
canine mentioned in paragraph from an ex-
change, the L0Osier Null:
A city grocer has a smart and truly good dog
that never sees barrel of flour weighed without
putting one foot the scales and looking care.
lessly out Of the door to avoid exciting suspicion
That foot weighs about twenty-five pounds.
Such "dorg" is invaluable. His business tai.
ents are of the highest order.
If there is anything we have weakness for it
poetry,-nice sweet poetry.
We gladly give this from an exchange:
Some people are almost copstitutonally dead
to the charms Of poetry, but we do not see how
ever the dullest sense can fail to responsive
to the sweet sentiment and soothing melody OF
the following noble stanxa:
"Ts midnight. and the setting sun
Is rising in the far, wide, wide West
The rapid river slowly runs;
The frog is en- his dewey nest;
The pensive goat and sporting COW
Hilarious hop from bough to bough."