Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1871-05-04
A Melting Story.


One winter evening a country
store keeper in the Green Mount
ain State was about closing his dooI
for the night, and while standing m
the snow outside putting up the
window shutters, saw through the
glass lounging, worthless fellow
within. grab a pound of fresh butter
from the shelf, and conceal it in his
hat. ........
The act was no sooner detected
than the revenge was hit on, and q
very few minutes tound the Green
Mountain store keeper at once in.
dulging his appetite for fun to the
fullest extent, and take of the thiet
with facetious sort of torture for
which he would have gained pre-
MUM from the old inquisition.
81 say, Seth?', said the store
keeper coming in and closing the
door after him, slapping his hands
over his shoulders, and stamping
the snow off his feet.
Seth had his hand on the door,
his hat on his head, and the roll OF
butter in his hat, anxious to make
his exit as soon as possible.
1 say, Seth, sit down; i reckon
now, on such an e-tar-nel night as
this, a little something warm would
not hurt Il fellow"
Seth felt very uncertain; he had
the butter. and was exceedingly
anxious to get of, but the tempta-
ton Of something warm sadly in
terfered with his resolution to go.
This hesitation, however, was soon
settled by the right owner Of the
butter taking Seth by the shoulders
and planting him in seat close by
the stove, where he was in such a
manner cornered in by boxes and
barrels, that while the grocer stood
before him there was no possibility
of getting out and right in the very
place sure enough the store keeper
sat down.
'Seth, we'll have a little warm
Santa Cruz" said the Green Mount
ain grocer; so he opened the stove
door, and stuffed in as many sticks
as the place would admit; ''without
it you'd freeze, going home such a
night rs this
Seth already felt the butter set
Ting closer to his head, and he
jumped up declaring he must go.
"Not till you have something
warm Seth; Seth, come, I've got a
story to tell you," and Seth was
again rushed into his seat by the
tormentor.
"Oh! its so. darned hot here"
said the petty thief, attempting to
rise.
"Sit down-don't be in such a
plaguey hurry" retorted the grocer,
pushing him back into his chair.
'But Eve got the COWS to fodder,
and the wood to split, and | must
be going" said the prosecuted chap.
'But you mustn't tear yourself
away in this manner. Sit down, let
the cows take care of themselves
and keep yourself cool; you appear
to be a little fidgety,' said the ro-
guish grocer with wicked leer.
The next thing was the produc-
tion of two smoking glasses of hot
toddy, the very sight Of which, in
Seth's present situation, would have
made the hair stand erect on his
head, had it not been well oiled and
Kept down by the butter.
Seth will give you a toast, now,
and you can butter it yourself" said
The grocer, with an air of such con-
simplicity, that poor Seth |
believed mselfunsuspected. '.Seth
here's a Christmas goose, well roast
I'd, seh? 1 tell you its the greatest
eating in creation. And Seth, don't |
you ever use hogs fat, or common
butter, to baste it with
come take your butter-I mean,
Seth take your toddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke,
Is well as melt, and his mouth was
lermetically sealed up, as though |
le had been born dumb. Streak |
tfter streak of the butter came
pouring from under his hat, and his
was already soaked
With the greasy overflow. Talking
lway, as if nothing was the matter,
he grocer kept stufling in the wood,
While poor Seth sat upright, with |
lis back against the counter, and |
lis knees almost touching the red
lot furnace in front.
Plaguey cold night, this said
he grocer. .'Why. Seth, you seem
o perspire as if you were warm.
Why don't you take off your hat?
Here let me put it away
''Nor' exclaimed poor Seth at last
NO, must go, let me out; | amt |
veil; let me go"
A greasy cataract was now pour
ng down the poor mans face and
leck, soaking into his clothes, and
down his body into his
,oots, so that he was literally in a |
perfect bath of oil.
Well, good night, Seth," said
he humorous Vermonter, If you
will CO." and adding rs he darted
'ut of the door, Il say, Seth, Ireck-
N the fun | have had out of you is
worth a nine-pence, so l shan't
'harge you for that pound of but
er in your hat"
The Wheelbarrow Busine S."