The Van Buren press., 1871-09-05
MISCELLANY.
Loves Young Dream.

The following choice piece of sarcasm
from Metropolitan Record, which purport.
to have been written by ayoung wife il
New York to her prim and spectacleo
maiden aunt in Boston, may, in truth
have been indted by the latter amiablt
lady herself, with view to expose the
absurd infatuation with which girl brides
shut themselves up in the delusion thai
their husbands are embodiments of per
fection. II the old lady did write ths
document, it was hardly fair of her to &c
and palm it off on the innocence Of mex
peIienced bridehood.
AN EXHAUSTED HUSBAND.
My DEAR AUNT: Although you told
me when | invited you to my wedding
tnat was too young to marry, and not
capable Of choosing mate for life prop
erly and with due consideration, know
that you may now feel that | was wiser
than you thought. In selecting dear Or
lando / have gained most afectionate
and attentive husband, and one who has
neither a fault nor vice Heavens
What must girl suffer who finds horselt
united to dissipated person, neglectful
Of her, and disposed to seek the society
Of unworthy persons, who drink, smoke,
and do all sorts Of dreadful things
Thank Heaven, Orlando 10 perfection
o-day is my eighteenth birthday, and
we have been married year. We keep
house now, and can make pretty good
pie, emily the under crust will be damp
However, think that must be the oven
Once put peppermint in the pudding
sauce instead Of lemon havoring; but
then Orlando was trying to kiss me,
right before the girl who didn't much
like either Of us going into the kitchen
At all.
The flowers are coming up beautifully
in the back garden. We sowed great
many seed, but hardly expected so many
plants. Among the most numerous is
one variety with very large leaf, that
scratches ones fingers, and don't smell
nice. wonder what it is. Orlando
frightens me by talking about weeds; but
seeds always come up, don't they?
Dear Orlando! come back to him
again--so excellent, temperate and true
Tell all the girls to marry as soon as they
can, if they can find q husband like mine.
have but one trial--business takes
him 80 much away from me, A lawyer
must attend to business, you know and
sometimes they carry on the cases until
two at night Often and often he has ex-
amined witnesses until half past twelve
and come home perfectly exhausted.
And the nasty things will smoke, SO that
his dear coat quite smells Of it. And as
it makes him as ill as il does me. have
to air it, and sprinkle the lining with co.
logne water before he dares to put il on
again.
| had terrible fright the other night
dreadful. Orlando had told me thai
business think he said it was case Of
life and death-would detain him late
So sat up, as usual, with book, and
did not worry until about one o'clock
After that was little anxious, con-
fess, and caught cold in my head peep
ing through the upstairs window blinds
for dear aunt, it was not until three
o'clock that l heard a cab driving up the
street and | saw it stop at our door
then / thought should faint, for | was
sure some dreadful accident had happen
ed to Orlando.
Iran down to open the door, and Mr.,
Smith, fiend of Orlando's who is not,
l confess, very much to my taste-such
red-faced, noisy man-was just sup.
porting my dear boy up the steps.
"Oh, what has happenedY 7" cried I.
"Dor't be frightened, Mrs. White, "
said Mr.. Smith. Nothing at all only
White is little exhausted. Apple alton
to business will exhaust a man, ind
thought I'd bring him home"
"All right, Bell, said Orlando,
"Smith tells the truth--Im exhausted. y
And, dearest aunt, he was so much SO
that he spoke quite thick, and couldn'
stand up without tottering Mr. Smith
was kind enough to help him up stairs
and ho laid upon the bed SO prostratcd
that thought he was going to die. Then
l remembered the French brandy you
gave me in case Of sickness. l ran to get
it out
"Have little brandy and water, dear p
l said.
"Thc very thing. Smith is exhausted,
too. Give some to Smith, said he.
And 80 l reproached myself for not
having thought Of it before Mr.. Smith
was gone But gave a glass to Orlando
and under Providence, ! think it saved
his life for, oh, how bad he was!"
"Bell, said he, quite faltering in his
speech. ,"the room is going round so fast
that ] can't catch your eye. And besides
there's two Of you, and / don't know
which 10 which. "
knew these we're dreadful symptoms
Take o drink. DEAR" said !, "and
III try to wake Mary. and send her for
the doctor. 4"
mo, said he, "Tll be all right in the