The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-09-14
MISCELLANEO

Mere matter of form--Fitting a dress
Good country butter-An old ram.
Vegetable Philosophy-Sage Advice.
How to get along well-Haye it dug
deep.
Josh Billings says, Il am not afraid
to trust man for small amount if lie
is good whistler. y
Caste-The most exclusive circle is the
arctic circle which no one has as yet as
succeeded in getting into.
An East Broadway IN. Y. J sign reads:
Violin taught in English and German ;"
The author Of RED as a Rose was
She, is said to tc writing a new novel
entitled Weak as Rat was He.'
Song of man going to have tooth
drawn-"HoW happy [ could be with
ether"
Bald-headed men take joke more
easily because they are not at the trouble
Of getting it through their hair.
The only thing they keep-Many young
meu are so improvident they cannot keep
anything but late hours
Medical Query-When a person de-
clares that his brain is on fire, is it ETH
quette to blow it out?
A dandy on shore is disgusting to many
people, but swell of the sea sickens
everybody.
'My New Piano." a beautiful chrome
IN fifteen colors, retail price five dollars,
IS given for six subscribers to the Song
Messenger.
Secrets" says Josh Billings, ''are
poor property, emmy how if yew circu-
late them yew lose them, and if yeW keep
them yeW lose the interest on the invest
meDt."
Josh Billings says courage without
discretion is like ram with horns on
both ends-he will have more fights on
hand than he can do justice to.
A New York burglar was captured
while singing, do they miss me at
homc.'' They will miss him for about
ten years.
The drum is paradox of parchment;
for the best drums, of course, are those
which cant be beat" and if they can
not be beaten what are they good for?
My Lord said the foreman of an
Irish jury, We find the man who stole the
horse not guilty
Are these rooms to let p said polite
gentleman to handsome young lady.
Yes sir.
Are you to let with them %
No, sir. N to be let alone. -
GLOW IS it, my dear, that you have
never kindIed flame in the bosom of
MANI said an Old lady to her pretty
niece, who was portionless. The rea-
son. DEAR" replied the young lady, lis
as you well know, that L am not good
match.
\ correspondent at a New England
camp meeting writes that a young man
asked the prayers of the assembly be-
cause he could not set down to meal
without eating three times as much as he
ought.
A reporter thus graphically describes
the effects of storm on the North river:
Nv hile the storm was In its heighth,
the vessel keeled 20 the laboard, and the
Captain and another barrel Of whisky fell
overheard,
Apropos to the many remedies propos-
ed for preventing boiler explosions, the
Louisville Courier-Journal says the abso-
lutely sure way to keep them from ex-
ploding is to eli them with ice water and
set them away in cool place.
Ata Boston church where the choir
sang the "Amen' after the benediction
the officiating clergyman was surprised
to hear the musical response given at the
end of notice he had read.
Romantic Amelia Ito her betrothed
young Doctor) --''look dear what beau
tiful sunset! The sky is all crimson"
Unromatic doctor, -"Yes, it appears to
have had mustard plaster on
doesn't this lovely scene animate
you ?" asked Anna of her lover. No,
said he nothing but you can Anna mate
me. Oh say yes, darling" She did say
yes, and his cup Of animation was full.
A certain divinity student of our ac-
quaintance, remarked to digni6ed mat
ron, who sat at his side at the table
where there was quite party, ''you
have preserved your vigor and freshness
wonderfully, madam, pray how old are
you? "Old enough to know what be-
longs to good breeding, was her cour-
teous reply.
An OLD Dublin beggar woman. asked a
lady for penny. I've nothing for
yea replied the lady; but IF you go
to the soup kitchen. you II get pint OF
excellent soup. Soup is it you nane, y
oawied the Indignant mendicant: dc
you call that stuff soup? shurc and | |!
jist tell you how they make 1t: They
get a quart Of water, and then boil il
| down to make it strong.
The quiet breakfast of a family in
Lowell, Mass, was rudely interrupted
few mornings ago by the laundress,
who bolted into the room with the eX-
clamation, AN sure, Misses / thought
Ia come and tel yez that [ coalln 7
wash for ye this nlornln, as my bog i
sick with the small pox. and is as black
/ as my old mans hat She was allowed
/ to depart without further apology.