davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01
Flirting


among The y4ut1iaii l1iic5 and nadnesses
1i the day. there ls nothing more popular OF
-i-sast-nE than TIE practice oi uutns, and
AAe s1ieide' 1t seems TO he on the increase.
One can scarcely pass through any public
street without witnessing q manifestation OF
Dc ln some one oI KS many odious ioTIns, ana
The cACreA Pc" is often the held oil Its ooldest
atl9n.
N!a9 " c.slef tens us 'lat a 1Irl is q pert
-I-' pug why NE should ne Sd particular 10
mention inc slfl "a ana ezc.ule tne o'y am
-H4'-e 10 siy- ici-alS lAe masculine ueul-
oefs OF society We're more Friuols IN bis
-i4e 'lan az .Ae p-es.a. d1y.
be 1-it as i1 may ii NoAn e!1ll nave Aaa
.lIeAno "ie15e % events as tley occur in
eighieen A'l1teI ana seventy one we leel
assured bis 1-lN''''n "oI'l nave 'een iAale
as applicable TO e1e sex as the other, ana
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

The riotous troubles OF Oglensburzh have
ended, as it was expected they woald, in the
complete yindicstion Of free speech. This right
belongs to the humblest citizen, and even to the
mountebank or the preienier, and must be as
sscredly guarded in bic ease as in that Of the
first statesman or divine in the land Ogdens-
burgh, therefore, did no more thsn its duty,snd
the whole country will approve the action Of its
authorities Nevertheless it IS an Improbable
speculation, when a city finds itself compelled to
defend speakers Of the csli5re and anmus OF this
De Camin. They are altogether Improbable for
the instruction Of the public, while their teach
ings are only calculated to stir up bitterness, If
not strife. II would be easy TO silence them If
popular confidence and patronage we're withheld.
The man Who discharges his distribes at Cstho-
licsm has no more right to the respect or hear
ing Of the American public. than he would pos
sess where he to mske war upon Presbyterianism,
Mefhodism. or Unitarianism. The denomin-
at;opal pulpit is seldom fouled by the rethoric
Of these bscseusrd poiemics why then should
they be invited to the popular rOsirum, where
their insults can find wider rsnge?-Trog
TINES.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

CoNCEENING DIcTloNART.-Wh0 tina,
ever read it, has forgotten the irresistibly
funny description Of the career Of q dictiona
ry, which Mark Twain puts into the mouth
of one Coon, "a nice, bald-headed man at
the hotel in Angels camp in the Big Tree
region Of the Calaveras county, California,
1t was TO a request for the lean Of book 70
enliyen rainy day, that Coon replied
d" Well, I've got mighty responsible old
Webster Unabridged, what there is Of it, but
they started her sloshing around the camu
before ! ever got chance 10 read her nv
self: and next she went to Jackass- Guleh.
and now shc's gone to San Andreas, and
don't expect Ill ever see that book again.
But what makes me mad is, that for all
they're so handy about keeping her sashshay-
ing around from shanty to shanty and from
camp to camp, none Of en- s got a good word
for her. Now, Coddlngt0n had her a week.
and she was too many for him-he couldn t
spell the words; he tackled some of them
regular busters, tow'rd the middle. YOU
know, and they throwed him. Next DYER
he, tried her jolt, but he couldn' pronounce
,em-Dyer can hunt quail and play seyen-up
as well as any man, understand, but he cant
pronounce worth cent he used to worry
along well enough though, till he'd flush
one Of them rattlers with elatter OF sylla-
bles as long as string of sluice boxes, and
then he'd lose his grip and throw up mis-
hand. And so finally Dick Stoker harnessed
her, up there at his cabin, and sweat over
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

The PLANETS IL AuGusT.-The present month
siIords an unusual opportunity fer the study Of
the planetary wonders, for Venus. Mars and
Saturn now lend their soft light to the serene
sumner evenings, and bright e5es eau, during
a few evenings Of the month, track the path Of
the swiit-footed Mercury, slyly hiding in the
suns fading light
The lovely planet Venus, the Qaeen Of them
all, deserves the FIRST place the list Of evening
stars. She is now a brilliant object il the west
ern sky, appearing soon after sunset She
reached he greatest distance from the sun, or
her greatest eastern elong,tion, on the 18th Of
July, and has since been rapidly approaching
the sun, increasing in size and splendor With
every passing day She will reach her point Of
greatest brillisncy on the 10Th of this month,
after which, decreasing ii light and approach
ing nearer the sun st every temperance, she
will on the 9th of September arrive at her in
ferior conjunction, and passing between us and
the great luminary, resppesring on his western
side to fulfill her mission as morning star for the
succeeding two hundred and Binety-two Jays
Seen through the telescope, Venus now presents
the appearance OF q waning crescent constantly
increasing in size, but turning more and more
her enlightened side from US, 50 that although
she appears twenty-five times as large es when
in the opposite and most distant part Of her
orbit, the light she gives by no means cores
ponds to her nearness
No student Of the stars can have failed during
the last few months to compare the two planets,
Jupiter and Venue, shining brilliantly side by
side in gay contrast; Venus, our nesr neighbor,
and the brightest star Of all the heavenly host,
and Jupiter, our magnificent brother, who. IN
spite of his immense distance. managed to hold
the lists with his female rival 1t was pleasant
to watch their nightly approach on the celestial
pathway, until passing each other on the 18th
of May, Jupiter moved sunwards, and Venus
still pursued her eastward course high up among
the stars A special interest just now is attach
ed to the planet Venus in the astronomical world,
for in 1874 one Of her transits takes place. She
will then pass like tiny, black star across the
suns disc, and astronomers Of all nations are
making preparations to observe the rare phe-
nomenon. The English government has sppro-
pristed $4,000 for this purpose, and other ua-
tions will not be behindhand in their efforts in
the cause. Instruments are being constructed,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

Pull down the bough, Bob Is MT this fun
Now give it a shake, ard-there goes one
Now put your thumb up 70 the other and see,
] KNOW by the stripe,
li must be ripe!
Tl-t'=J Ju8 q p ece t0r yOa and ne.
Grs.a are taeys Well, 10 mater fo- that,
st down oE tao -rass ana wen have chat;
fuf fllt3l sou what old parson Butte
ts.d last sunday Of unripe fruit
Life" says he,
is Q bOunt ful tree
il.a.iy laden with beautiful fruit.
aFr the youth there is love- Just streakei with red
Aud great JOYS hanging Just over his head
Hanpne's, honor and great estate.
fUs 81 VINO pltieLtly work and wait,
Blessings said he,
" Oi every degree,
pslilg early aud Tipenin- late
.Tlse them in season, pluck and eat;
Aul she lrult Is Wholesome, the iruit Is sweet
rl.. ul uy fricn.s!' here he gave rap
.. hist desk like re zular thunder-claD.
Ard made such bang,
cid Deacon Lang
3. g ua cut Of hs Sunday nap.
.G.ee- 1u.t.~ sai- be, d. God would rot bless
H.rrH Ha.. ..e's s1rfaH and bitterness,
tI... tleeyIl and ache and crime,
,....r ...r1 tasting before their time
Thc irIIt Aeaveu sent
Then Hl De sent
g. Dis Fond. aui fif4'y.-Tas ut it prime
t.-tr r.-,. -rsIelloWs d-1't care
-.r..-.a l.r a alrIill n. apple or pear
I.--.sr... s.s I..c .. The tnn oi the thing
i..--... .-... g- blows sni tle hang birds bring
T.tHe.r young ones a-sWin-,
fa -..-. .a.-Ias., -1- lp -- us stIihs-
r-..-.rear.s. .l vl- Wa.
81. s-.--..,ts -..s-ul Hl.0l. .lc blaze
".-..5 .' # .. al pies,
-H.rsa
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

TINS ilar- >rBBNBER.-It has been
popularity reported that the first interview
"e'"een The two commanders took place
en1e7 an apple tree, which has consequently
teA crowned with historic associations.
IHis is iti-e The iac, is, that, in the
morning Of the 9,h of April. Gen. Lee,
win a single member of bis staff. was res
tirg under an apple tree. when Col. Bah
COCK, OF ten. Grants staff. rode up under a
nag oi truce, saying that If Gen. Lee re-
manned where he was. Gen Grant would
como O. hlm by the road the latter was then
pursuing. Inls was the only interview un-
yer at near the apple tree and it may be
.''10. .led here, that the following day
M Marshall, who attended Gen. Lee on
asi1n was surprised to find Federal
hacking at the tree, and was amused
"a, '-eT liel OF obtaining from 1t mementoes
ae surrender. Obtaining news Of
'''-' alIroach, Gen. Lee at once ordered
''' a-rsra.l TO find fit and convenient
1.-s- i9r The interview. CD. Marshall ap-
,,'.l 90 the first citizen he met. Mr.. Wilmer
4.-74u' and was directed 10 "a house vacant
~, ana -lsmantled. lie refused to use it and
-Nl, Mclean then offered TO conduct him
anu Tie general to his own residence, a
comfortable frame house, with a long portico
una Convenient b. sitting ROOM furnished
ai'eT the bare style Of the timesr.
Ile house was about hall mile distant
fJn Gen. Lees camp. The Confederate
commander was attended only by one of his
aids, Col. Marshall, youthful. boyish-look-
ihg scion of the old and illustrious Marshall
iamily Of Virginia, who had been the con-
sulnt companion Of Gen. Lee in all his
CAMPAIGNS, and, as his private secretary,
ual done good literary service in the prepa-
ations of report of battles, &e., which are
now historical With Grant, there were
several Of his staff officers, and a number of
Federal generals, including Ord and Sberidas
entered the room, and joined in the slight
general conversation that took place there.
HE interview opened without the least cer-
emony. The story has been frequently re-
peated, that Gen. Lee rendered his sword
ana that Gen. Grant returned it with CON-
plmentary remark. Thare was no such
ausurdity. Gen. Lee wore his sword (which
was not his usual habit) and, on the ex.
change Of salutations, Gen. Grant remarked ::
l must apologize, general, for not wearing
u sword it had gune off in nv baggage
When ! received your note" Gen. Lee
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

AN ENcUsuVsN ilNa, His MoGNlNG r>ru
The following story or Judge Bowling.
who has just returned from Europe. Is told
in one of the New York papers
Among Justice Bowling fellow passengers
in the Queen WAS an English traveller who
had taken delight in sea-blthiBgat Blthgate.
He privately told Justice Bowling, one day
after dinner. that the only discomfort Of eros
sing the Atlantic was the deprivation Of salt
water baths
"Why,' said his Honor, 81 have my salt
water bath every morning
"Tell me how you do it.
"liayo the mate call You at ( O'Clock to-
morrow morning replied the Justced
Come on deck in your night shirt and slip
pers, and the sailors will pump salt water
all over you
"Thanks my dear Judge"
Forthwith Justice Bowling sought the mate
and "put up job on the Englishman. He
sent dozen bottles Of champagne to the
watch, and extracted a promise form each
and every man that when the Englishman
appeared in the morning be should be deluged
with water from both the fore and aft force
pumps. To each of these pumps was attach
ed one hundred feet Of leather hose and a
three inch brass nozzle
At precisely + o clock on the next morning
the English traveller was called to take his
salt water bath. lie made his appearance
dressed in long ruiied linen night shirt.
and on his feet were a pair of finely worked
pump-soled slippers. lie stationed himself
near the torecastle, and divested himself Of
his light apparel. Then he shouted.
$50 ahead, Mr.. Mate"
$50 ahead, eehoed tie mate, and the
sailors played upon the bather.
At breakfast a seat was vacant. 1t lunch
also seat was vacant: but at dinner the
Englishman reappeared, and found a chair as
far as possible from Justice Bowling.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

BIRD TALE.-Tberc's sly little bird of
the sparrow size, come to the mulberry har-
vest He warbles a fine song, and pavs for
his fruit in that way. lie has fine ton knot
of the brightest red, with a mantle Of the
same color, somewhat faded, down his shoul-
ders. The female wears business suit of
sober grays and browns. The substance of
the song is Of that low, sweet species Of twid-
die, such as Beethoven used for the filling Of
his country lullabys. You would hear it
without Listening, and would not know what
made you feel 20 happy, until the higher
powers revealed the presence Of the tiny
songster. spinning his mulberries into haf-
mony from the dimmest recesses Of the high
tree top. A movement frightens him off.
When last seen, they had fuzzy young one
between 'em whose mouth opened like a to-
bacc)-bOx, for berries, which seemed to drop
right through him-they disappeared in such
quantities and rapidity. Top knot quit pick
ing. Says he to his mate with futter
That child will have q summer complaint
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01
SuperscriptlOns.
THE SKILL OF PosroFFIcE CLERK SOME TERRI
BILE SPELLS

THE SKILL OF P0srOTFICE CLERK SOME TERRI
BE "sPELLs.'
Speaking Of Pbiladelphia lawyers, the dis
tributing clerk in charge Of the foreign letters
which cone through the Chicsgo pos;ofice was
evidently cut out for one If not, his experience
has been such as amply TO fl him for the pro
fession Of deciphering uuintelhgible sigus and
hierorlyphics Many of the superscrIptons
which come through bis hands are among the
most mysterious Of ciphers- unintel lligibie from
the writer's not knowing what he wanted to
write, rather than illegible through csrelessness
in writing. When coun;ryIn4n Of Gustavus
Vasa, for instance. still alternating upon his
native hills, sends letter to his brother in this
country, and, writing from memory, and a
memory not much t-siuei in letters at that, su-
perscribes it " Seeiera5st lenco Ia he hiss
succeeded in mystiiying the average human
mind considerably regarding the intended des.i-
nation Of his missiye. Not at all the postoffce
clerk, however, who at once sees that . Cedsr
Rapids, Linn county, lows, " is meant. So, too,
ghen from the Bremen bag greasy packet tiut-
ters out, addressed 10 - Hafle Lac Co H. II is
not difficult to discern, after the letters of the
legend have been evolved from the chaos in
which 3 stiff fist anil a villsiuous pen have left
them, that the packet is intended for some one
in - Half Day, Lake county, Illinois, snd
thither It therefore goes. But VIXEN the only
address To re made out from an1ther-sud tbst
BY no means sure. co vsgue are the forms OF the
letters-is 81 Choliyhutyille Co. H." then il IS
that brains tell il the distributing business.
Brains finally result in a solution Of the paiimp
sest, and . Joliet. VIII county, Illinois, Is the
Interpretation thereof In like manner d" Yer
seaux incauqUe Co Ameriks''-a superscription
which could have emansted from nowhere else
but Francis decbted to mesn - WARSAW,
Hancock county," and il is found that Illinois
has such town, in such county so the letter
Is forwarded thither, and hiss doubtless gladden.
ed or saddened the heart of its object before
now LgkeSiie Monthly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

as sure as you're alive, if you don't stop
stufin him = And then he hid himself in the
branches and commenced TO whistle and trill,
and tell how bad he should feel if the little
one should sicken, and fade and faint away
and wound up with something that sounded
like short ieed-short feed for little chaps
for a month or twO-for a month or two -
.igrffOrd C0ur0af
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

bowed, and at once without further CONVEX
sation, asked that Gen. Grant would state,
IN writing if he preferred it, the terms on
which he would receive the surrender Of the
army Of Northern Virginia. Gen Grant
complied by sitting at a table in the room,
and writing with a common lead pencil the
note So well rememberei.-From Old and
Neic for Augsrf.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01
All Sorts

Nice young men are in demand st all the
watering g-plsces.
ALouisville, (Ky.,) bride whose dress was carried
up the aisle by page, caused the choir to sing,
by her own special request, during the cere-
mOny
g Strip me Of the robe Of pride,
Clcthe ms with humility"
What an exposure she would have made If her
request had been carried out
4 gentle Wisconsin parent corrects bis boys
by taxing them by the ears and pounding their
heads together till the blood gu.hes from their
noses and mouths
Nilsson's summer toilettes are maryels Of ele-
gance and style.
briliisnt little coterie of French tourists are
summering at Lake George The demoiselles
are " awiully nice''-hashing and hutteriug
about the hotels and grounds, light and airy,
with piquant laugh and fascinstng prattle
They are, indeed, the brightest, yittiest, and
most natural of women
The Cincinnati Commercial has discovered
the following national anomalies The French
have the best poll-dressers and the most bald
headed men Of any people in the world. The
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

litE1 ~azI CrtEs Us a >Ig.rI 'aE-No
little Consideration Was created Do >lutA
Baltimore city passenger ear o1 O. late evening.
caused hy dozen and more % hand she'll
crabs making q cirtut Of the floor ol the
vehicle. These unusual passengers belong
cd O. a Young man who bad caught them In
the vicinity ot Ferry Bar. and gentleman
iu entering the ear a- tie corner of Camden
and Sharp streets. accidentally stumbled
against the hassc.. and iu q tWinkliuc the
crabs were caw!ir- about the d1nr in all di-
rectiou-. a lady iu tie car was lrst notified
oi the presence OF tlc crabs hv O. sharp pain
in one of her ankles and when She discovered
what caused ihe pain sac uttered such g
scream a- almost threw another lady rasScn-
ger into spasms The crab maintained
steady bold upon tac ankle, and az last
gentleman Cssavcd 60 removed the monster.
and in So doing be evidenced che Gc, chat hc
was not posted IN The art OF Iiuuiu- o crab.
as tie latter, quitting bis hold upon the
lady ankle. caugh, tlo thumb Of the gentle
man, and Just here new source ot trouble
arose the sudden attack Of the c.ab caused
the gentleman t1 utter peculiar cxulctiye,
and IN his agony De dcschct q swift semi
circle with bis left hand and with such force
as to detach the body of the crab from the
claw which oncircleI tie thumb Of the
gentleman, and the crab went full into the
bosom Of the lady mentioned as being almost
afflicted with spasms. Her screams now
made " confusion worse c0nioundcd. and in
less than minute after the basket Of crabs
had been overturned the liycliest scene imag-
Unable was going Oh In that car, but the
crabs were finally captured and returned to
the basket. and quiet restored ..along the
line - Baltimore imrisga.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

pany, became Vanderbilt's surety. No one
believes the criminal prosecution will amount
to anything. Certainly if justice can be
meted out to a wealthy culprit it will be a
novel experience for New Workers.
England declares her intention Of m aintain-
ing the Mexican treaty of 1862.
Attempts to raise the snapped cables are
again being made
Cattle still browse pleasantly around
Wabash avenue, and ask terrified children if
they will take horn Chic Rep.
Five thousand girls are wanted immediate
ly to do homework ia California towns
Garibaidi has again been reported dead.
but he is no worse for it.
Wachtel, the German scrcamer.is againre
ported as about to visit America. But wacht'l
you bet he don't.-IChie. Rep.
Why is the Loms tartan certain to wash
well? Because it is intended for the Lorno-
dress.-[Fun.
Wheels 90 best when they are thoroughly
tiFed.-TJudy.
Forced politeness- Bowingto circumstances
-[Punch.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01
Varieties

al es'ShodAt dt mount vernon, not long
since. found lady weeping most bitterly and
audibly. with her handkerchief at her ewes.
He stepped up to her, and said "Are YOU
IN any trouble, madam ?'' "No. sir. She
sobbcd. 81 saw you weeping" "Ahr ~
SAID she. - how can one help weeping at the
grave OF the Father of his country ?'' ella.
indeed, madam said he, "that's 1t ? The
tomb over yonder. This is the ice house. 3"
\ writer on school discipline says :.'With-
ont liberal use Of the rod it Is impossible TO
make boys smart
IN accident. sadly ludcrous, recently oc-
Cured at funeral in Chicago. The rarlcrs
where the coffin was resting were exceeding
ly full OF people, SO that the unusual weight
upon the floor caused it to give way during
the address Of the minister, and preeipitatcd
the whole crowd. coffin. minister and mourn
ers INTO the cellar. The room into which
they fell was the conn misary department of
the establishment, and one lady was particu-
larly fortunate, managing to get one foot
into jar of butter, another into q pan of
milk, while a shelf Of honey was deposited in
hcr lap. To add to the confusion the cotiin
was broken by the fall, and the corpse landed
in barrel of soft soap.
1t is the taste Of some men to advertise
their profession and character in their clothes
and ornaments. Boating men wear minia-
ture paddles pinned upon their breasts and
now horscy young man is making the tour
of the summer resorts, wearing q vest button
ell with gold horse shoes, gold scarf pin in
the shape Of horses head and sleeye-but-
tons rcpresentinga a horse jumping over hur-
de.
" hen your soul is worn out by the shrek
of locomotives and kindred ear splitting nui-
sanccs. reflect that a dinner horn in the
country can BE heard FIVE miles the bark of
a dog, 500 yards; the human yell, 1000
the roll of a drum $50; the report Of a
muskct, 500. the noise o! train, $500,
ANA the whistle of a locomotive, $500
yards.
There is q story told Of the officers Of
British ship dining with a mandarin at Can
ton. Ono Of the guests wished q second
helping Of a savory stew which he thought
was some kind of duck. Not knowing a
word of Chinese be held his plate TO the host
saying with a smile Of approval, Quack,
quack, quack - Imagine bow his counte-
nance fell when the host, pointing TO the
dish responded, Bow, ow, ow =
NIsss,cbrso,ts Inv emf off his vonn-
sisters roljcr, cnrls Will She sIer.t IN rci
,,..'ra,, ,7itf ,ri,ioi' p, p, Tho -
Il ''''e'a','' woman 'H 'iAiii'' - s,'.'9
"l- NL3 NoiAol lgI - Genus " -H9o u4, ',''- t
s-''u 'lc iiioN,s' mas l"s' s''c" Slgv' l'I
N'-'S i'I i'u1 H..'l'' 'o""'"' 'uill'lS
Ll' 'is'i's' 'Hul'"'
On hearing the report that the shocking
condition of the iiremen's hose bad resulted
in the destruction OF "a large amount of prop
erty, woman sat up all night darning her
husbands stockings.
The plantation in Mississippi, once owned
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

Regularly every week for the last three or
four years a telegraphic dispatch has told US the
health Of Chief Justice Chase is either better or
worse. 1t would probably be asking too much
of the Chief Justice to ask him to die and be
done with it, but he ought to stop that dispatch
in some way.-Lou. Cor. Journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-09-01

heF' and wrestled with her for as much as
shree weeks, night and day, till he got as
lar as Il, and then passed her over to 'Lige
flckereli, and said she was the all-fredest
dryest reading that ever he struck"