The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-03-04
Courtship Is bliss, but ms.rimony is blister
L-s..e.,'

| Up in Michigan = fellow threatened to sus az
editor for Islander in the event of non-apoloziz
ing. The editor took some Of it back and wound
up by saying that If the injured party would
send in two dollars subscription for the paper,
the account would be square. Beat an editor,
will youT
The Maquoketa iowa Sentinel. speaking Of
Bowen, the radical congressman and accomplish
ed biggamis., Gays:
Cal. Bowen, carpet.bag Radical member of
| Congress, from Charleston, South Carolina, has
three .cires icing, with large Radical districts TO
! hear from
Several Chicago clergymen are, at present. en-
| gagged in crusade against dancing. This is
right-for are they not hired TO superlntend .he
savings Of the soul ?-Er.
That was bootless inquiry. made SOLELY for
| the sake of pun.
Good name fer an anctioAeers wife--BiGdy.--
Escl0nge.
Good name for II generals wiie-Saly. Pass
it on.-Le5anOa Herald
This might serve for sports wiie-Bet,y.-
BrooascWe Bee.
How is this for a iisherman's wife-oall her
Notty and pass it on.-Union (Tenn) Courier.
How is this for printers wite-call her En-.
(nl and pass it on.-Osceoio Times.
Call shoemaker's wife Peggy. G'long.-
AThdnatS Statesman.
How is this for ''high" for chemists wite--
Ann Eliza. Git.---liOuntain EcAo.
Appropriate for u teamster's wife--Carrie.-
Man,stee ZriJune
Just the thing for lawyers wife-Sue. Sc.
em up.
A gardeners wife-Flcra.
A sections .trou--k.neily-y.
An anglers wife-Minne.
A carpenters wife--Dora.
An editors wife-Ida
The difference between sailor and cattle
merchant is simply this--One steers his shin. the
other ships his steers.--N. 0. PcayuQe
Which puts us in mind of one: Whe-, il
sailor like new milk? When coming out of
Cowes Next !--Cosmopeltte.
We venture another: When is a sailor like
An accepted lover? When he is going to Havre
THE LITTLE CoRPoRAL.-The March nanlber
of this sterling juvenile comes to us as fresh AZ
the first breath of spring. It contains ar unnsu-
al amount OF entertaining reading matter, and
its illustrations are unsurpassed. Each number
reading as any ordinary book costing one dollar
and half. and the twelve numbers of one year,
costing only Sl.5O. form volume equal to about
dozen sach books Terms $3.50 a year. For
specimen number, and revised premium list. ad.
dress the publisher, John T. Miller, Chicago, III.
Single copies for sale and subscriptions rsceiv.
cd by O-Inan d Hapemun, Ottawa, Ills.
a Nkw NUMBEH.-THE PHRENoLoGIrAL
JOURNAL for March contains-Noah Webster,
the eminent photographer, with IL portrait:
What can | do best the qualification ,or
Phrenoogist; Progress of Religions Civilization.
rs illustrated in the improved condition o, the
race; Thomas De Witt Talmadge the eminent
divine; Brain Wave---a new theory th. new
king OF Spain with portrait: the late Cen irim
with portrait; our Dome.tic rrop., or tn. ser.
want question; the Food amply of Europe .ui
America, interesting facts; Japan, it, present
condisisn: Furnishing Criminals, a refor-a ,!.-
manded ; How 20 Rise in the World, or " rein
lies Greatness--brth or culture; Iceland the
Land OF Fire and Ice etc., etc. Price 81 ,<-ar
~ cents number
Address s. r. WELLS, Publisher, New York
Single copies for sale, and subscriptions r,..,y-
ed by Os'nan u Hapem.n, Ottawa, Ills.
Premature gray :Ialr or badness in Young
or middle aged lady or gentleman is frghrtul,
the unexpected discovery of a gray hair where
none should exist is enough to make one, hair
stand on end "like quilts upon the fretful porch.
pine" We don't like TO grow old, and we still
less like to have false evidences thereof before
the fact occurs. \ judicous care OF thi. bean.
with "Barrett's Vegetable Hair Restorative" ha,
saved MANY from the horrors ,f tba