Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-05-04
OUR BOY.

good later in life, to balance the number
less ills to which all boy-hesh is heir l
have adhered to the theory, that much
government Of youngsters is hurtful, un-
less they happen to come of bad stock,
and l have been content to lay no other
burden upon Willie than the prohibition
of lying, which law is understood to be in
flexible and eternal
OF course l am obliged to expostulate,
ever and anon, as some new and startling
development of boy-nature is manifested,
but have never had to inf1ict punishment,
and do not often administer reproOf l
paid him fifty cents in silver, some years
ago, for his promise mot to shoot off
matches in the house." and I keep my
powder horn locked up. think he groans
inwardly, under the sense of disability he
bought with that half dollar but he ad-
heres to the contract manfully. The
powder-horn was locked up, because l
found him, on the last national anniver-
sary, behind the kitchen, trying pyrotech-
nical experiments. He had distracted
coal from the range, and was pouring
steady stream of powder upon it. The
experiment failed, because the coal was
extinct. There is certainly special Prov
idence hedging about boys life. what
ever may be the truth of the doctrine be-
yond the adolescent period.
spent an entire day at home, recently,
and, it being Saturday, Willie was at home
also. 1t occurred to me that good OPP
portunity was here presented to investi-
NAL boy in his native state. He had con-
auered his lessons on Friday night. l
overheard him reciting to himself his geo
-o~I;rc1 c%,,Isoo uyhicb ov,voorod ~ ho q
list of provinces in Hindostan. He cover
ed the page with his hand, while he sung
out his Biography" in this fashion:
t'Scinde, Agineer, Delhi, Agra, Allahabad,
Dicksloo, Allogoslum, Hulker, Pulker,
Peelersgum, Francis!" In looking over
the book afterward, l could not find all
these provinces set down. He was equally
accurate in his task in syntax, making
strange confusion with the rule and the
example He ratified the grammar lesson
off glibly, thus: "a word is verb which
signifies to be, to do, or to suffer-as-
{Example) a woman, a duck, hen!" How
ever, he went to bed satisfied, and slept
the sleep Of the just.
At breakfast on Saturday the young
gentleman appeared with his ordinary
shining morning face. am not entirely
satisfied that the ridgid adherence TO our
rule of matutinal additions is according
to Nature Willie goes through the cere.
mony every day, but he has once or twice
plaintively wished that he were horse, so
that he could be cleaned off with a curry
comb, like pony" Perhaps there is in
boys latent hydrophobia, which is
checked and controlled by these diurnal
infections. Anyhow, the custom is time
honored, and do not like to introduce
innovations, so Willie has to submit to the
daily securing. With carefully arranged
hair, polished face, and clean attire, our
boy is pretty well disguised when he ap-
pears at the morning meal, but he grows
into his normal condition before the day
Is old.
He commenced the days operations by
falling, head-foremost, down the main stair
case, starting with a pitcher of water, and
reaching the bottom with the pitcher
handle in his grasp. He turned over twice
or thrice during the transit, striking mis-
head against the wall and balustrades with
violence sufficient to brain, half dozen
men, and when he got to the bottom
howled dismally. He was dried and COM
forted Il gave him agreenbacked dollar, and
promised him a new four bladed knife),
and think he was good deal refreshed
by the exercise. He felt that the day was
begun. The fragments of the shattered
erockery were gathered up, and the limo.
cent little darling was once more turned
loose upon the world There were two
or three new chronological develop
ments on the surface of his Uranium, but
no new manifestations of character. The
organ of benevolence was very materially
enlarged by the contact with thick oaken
baluster, for saw him ten minutes later
twisting the cats tail until she sneezed and
yelled hideously. She escaped at last, and
took refuge in the cherry-tree. OF course,
this could only be temporary relief. In
half an hour she was stoned out, and fed
across the yard, and over the fence, with
her ordinary tail multiplied by three, in
diameter, and with back that surpassed
the most astounding Grecian bend ever
saw on Broadway.
From the window of my library is Wis
ible the larger part of Willies usual hab-
stat, and during the day he furnishes me
many opportunities for investigating his
habits. He is proprietor of the most ex-
traordinary "dorg" that l have yet en-
countered, and, ia the present condition of
the quadruped, it would be difficult to as
sign him his proper place in the canine
family. His cara have been scalloped on
one side and cut into points on the other.
His caudal appendage has been shortened
to an inch. This curtailment was effected
under Willie's directions, when Sneak,
that is, the dorg, was caught in the act of
egg sucking Thus shorn of his fair pro-
portions, Sneak is still dog of parts.
His master has taught him to go lame in
one leg, to sit up on end and "beg," and to
haul his wagon about the yard. SO, when
I heard the clatter of Willie's wagon I'M
der my window, and his stentorian orders
to his "team," peeped through the blind
to study his equipage To my intense as
Constituent he was driving double Sneak
was on the of-side Of the pole, and pet
Berkshire pig on the other. They were
harnessed with Irvine, eked out by bits of
of old brides for traces 1t was evident
at the first glance, that the porker was not
well broken. He was balky and obstinate,
and Willie had his hands full The dorg-
horse was kind and gentle and wagged
his absurd stump of tail vigorously,
even while sorely perplexed by the efratie
course of his match" l foresaw the
catastrophe, which came in due time.
Piggy bolted, tore himself and the vehicle
clear of Sneak, and galloped off to the
stable, scattering fragments Of the wagon