Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-12-28

! lpu ne ever near NILSSON. w AS he ever
struck by lightning! Aud so on but it
didn't last long. just as lie got to feel
all right and easy, they let out at him.
disrcmembcr what lie said they asked
him. but they was corkers, all OF EN-
When was the ashington monument
began. How far was Walter Raleigh
navigable from his mouth. How long
did Porter command the Spanish Ar
mazda When lac ha.i got over feeling
dizzy they started on arithmetic Now
If there was ANYTHING Murk was weak
on 1t was figures. Tie couldn't do sums
for cracked bottle, in fact, he didn't
use to pay his bills down a, Sullivan's
haT for a year. just because he was
afraid he couldn't count out the right
change. and might cheat sullivan.
But arithmetic WAS these fellows best
grip. and the way they put it into Murk
was = caution. The first thing they
wanted 10 know was how long it would
take grasshopper 10 hop twenty-seven
eighty -iiiths of a mile, provided his
hind legs were twenty-sccouds of an
inch longer. After that they asked
how long 1t would take a grasshopper
If his legs were sahdpapered until they
were two and iNe-eishts twenty sec
onds shorter, and when he had come To
agln. the fat little canmbal sweetly in
I qWred what would have been the didrr-
cncc Ia time If the sandpapcr had been
z given just one more rub.
/ Well, arer Murk had 20, over his
/ cpiicptIC lt, and the board of examiners
4 had got up tron sctlin. on hun. they
i told hlm before he was carried out to
1 The ambulance, that h. had just missed
I passing by one question. Bat con
/ sltuuug a. they had cujlyci his case
/ very nuch indeed, they would give him
4 another shp% So thcy sca.cd up one
more problem IN an envelope aud told
mn that II he brought back the correct
answer IA a weeA's time thct q make
ont h's appointment. Murk had not
/ the heart 10 look at the thing for
Z couplc of days but N hen lie did II made
his hair curl, | can tell you. Those
I oiood-thlrsty wretches hai cut out Of
some paper sort OF an internal machine
Ola sum. l guess II must have been
started round by the proprietor Of an
insane asy lum 10 make custom.
The gl,t of 1t was that lf fellow
ted one end of two-huudred-y ard
rope 10 post and then walked round
the post IA circle holding the other
end oi the rope I'LL 1t was all wound
up, how tar would mau have TO
travel: 1t must upset ms brother for
good this did. llone's- he had no
I ~..-. - rt-~'., L.. h..i, ...d 80 he
| loIghi peek ot charcoal and com
( menced ii.uring all over the walls Of
/ his ioom. But he soon finished them
| up without coming any where near 1t.
! Incn he went over 10 the Statistical
! Bureau, bat all the statistical fellows
were travelling with 4 base ball club,
and he couldn't got any help there.
lie hunted up lightning calculator,
but the l.. G. coI.d'nt make anything
! of 1t. lie ciphered AMI cIphcred on II
all night. ani then left town III the
morning - avoid exposure. Murk was
pretty nigh beat then, but wa, bound
10 have that po,ish, YOU see If II killed
| him. He went right out 10 the race
track over the river. took out his watch
aud walked a mile on time. Then he
came back, bought u post, and lot OF
rope and a spade, and lugged EN- out
to vacant square in the suburbs. He
dug hole for the post, set II up, tied
one end OF the rope, took the other
and started. Ii was about ) A. NJ on
the sixth day when he got under way,
and he hoped 10 be through by night,
but he didn't by good bit. lie vas mt
more than half through by sundown
and then the post looked ike a hogs
head. But he wouldn't give it up. He
was bound 10 walk up that post if it
took him 4 month. Every time he
made mile he put it down. Nothing
discouraged him. a big crowd of
darkeys and little boys kept cheering
him under the impression tina, he was
layin. OFT the ground for circus, but
he didn't mind it. About the middle
of the night a hard rain come on, but
he only turned up his coat collar and
went right ahead. Whenever he got
tired and fell over brick or some
ching, he would jump up, deduct it, and
go right along.
We'll. he got through about half past
three IN the morning, and just in time,
too, Tor you See the people round
there had sent for the police to come
and arrest him for maniac. But Con-
gress was IN session then you know,
and when the police got there and only
found man very weak in the knees
and hanging 10 post At that time in
the morning, they thought he must be
u Senator and let him alone.
'Muik sent in the result to the ex-
aminers that day, and then he went
out and telegraphed to his wife that it
was all right, and to come on at once
and bring the children. But would you
believe it sir, after all they sent back
word that the answer was wrong! You
see the Internal rain shrank the rope,
and the result was seven inches too
short:
He never got over it, Murk, didn't !;
and if you ever 90 over TO Oak Hill
Cemetery, my friend, you will notice a
clear grave with a cedar post at one
end Of it, and rope railing around it.
We planted him on the same week.
was very much affected by this
story, Mr. Editor, very much indeed,
and said so.
'Ah. yes' said the melancholy man.
leaning mournfully on my arm, as we
went down the grand stairway together.
Its always the way. There is always
some durn rope or other, proving too
short for one of our family
didn't exactly understand the re-
mark at that time, but now have been
two days looking round for my pocket
book and wonder where l could have
misIaid my watch why-I think do
now, Mr.. Editor, think l do now.