The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

pered with.-Er.
Just so, but we don't see what benefit this will
be to the man who loses his money by having his
letters riaed.
The early mornings are melodious with the
songs of birds-and the warbling OF tom cats
Hdnkakoe Gazette
Here too. The Thomas He Cats frequently
awake US in the night with their harmonious
twitterings and melodious chirrapngs.
The Clinton Register tells of hosier who
drew his household goods all the way from, Dem
Yer, Colorado, on a hand wagon. He was going
to '1nianny" AID didn't think it worth while to
ride the little distance of 900 miles.
An old lady who was much troubled by the
prospect of the Introduction of gas in her village
and the consequent disuse Of whale oil, asked
with much earnestness: "What is to become of
the poor whales
The Womans Journal says that Gail Hamil.
ton is like jackass-you never know when she
intends to kick
The Home Journal proposes to collect the debts
due it in this way:
Bismarck is bully collector He has notified
the French government that if the instalment
his army on Paris and sell it out. When this
cruel war is over VI intend engaging him to col
leet unpaid subscriptions,
An exchange advertises Princess Louisa's hoop
skirts for sale The poor Princess has our SYM.
pathies if they will do instead of her hoop skirts
The local of the Naperville Clarion goes for a
couple of Ottawa "lavericks" in the following
abrupt styles:
Now, Beemus is an original character; has an
inexhaustible fund of humor, and has a wide
reputation as the prince of clever fellows. In
personal appearance he is rather tall, thick.set
short, and slim, and has a mustache visible to
the naked eye on clear day. A good glass
brings it out to perfection. When merchant
wants to get up sensation and u rush for some
new commodity, Beemus is invited to inspect
and comment thereon. Ii the subject is worthy
that genius OF the quill gets an inspiration, u
brilliant local appears, and merchant Is happy
When Beemus smiles, each dweller on the lii
nois considers his chances for the presidency
good. Beemus would grace the festive board in
capital style but Chief mourner at first class
funeral ne wouldn't be worth cent.
Ottawa has another lion in the cavalier like
person OF Bowman, the photographer. The
latter Is the great Snowman of La Sale county
the Barnum Ell Illinois He is not content wi tn
employing skilled artists and taking pictures of
every kind IL excellent style, but is ever on the
alert for odd subjects, queer situations and COM
lcal novelties, such popular lecturers base ball
clubs, and Beemus. Bowman has mania for
advertising lodges, and big things of every sort !;
ne can write book deliver q DISCOURSE run a
county lair or get up a baby show short no.
ice and with great success. His Celebrity
Box" contains collection for which Artemus
W. would have exchanged his entire stock of
moral wax work aud given boot. We carried
on pocket'ul of specimens among which,
Beemus in his Shed, Bowman in Box, There
Ii no Place Ike Home" ana Beenus Dog are
worthy Nasts clever pencil.
The only Use very long name ior II town is
as suggested by the following from t. northern
paper:
Ocononowoe is buried under forty.three inches
OF snow. Only two or three syllables of the
name stuck out.
An Iowa newspaper has discovered what the
letters &c. o. d. mean. In common English
they stand for "Come Omediately Down with
~ for the county newspaper.
The Boston Part mentions gentlemau who
Tried TO eat three quarts of oysters, and sadly
remarks: "The roads were 1auddv. and yery
lew OF his friends got out 70 the funeral"
le" DAYS since, waterbury (Ct) LAWYER
returned to the railroad ticket agent at that
place one dollar, overpaid him in making change.
For moment the agent stood speechless; then,
as the tears poured down his cheeks, he crashed
MN 10y the hand and exclaimed. Please stand
still one moment, sir, and let me look at YOU
and lawyer, too"
Dam Rlces paper, in "disloyal manuer'
Gays:
Mr' Speaker Blaine is stated to have become
avery rich man 10y successful specul.,!ons in
western railroads. We don't doubt it-W. .h
lngton Is a great place Tor N, Cs to speculate IN
that kind OF stock
A Colorado paper states: D..
Near Cheyenne, an Indian chief pofa,n.ni
hos' was lately introduced To an army officer bv
another savage, who by the way of commendi. y
'he 'hlei, told the soldier Le was ONLY 40 wear,
oid, mat he had taken 200 scalps and had had
the dehuum trenens fifteen times
woman, writing in New York weekly pa.
yei, '"!s The reason why cheese is so dige,tible
ls INA 1t contains TO much Of bu,yric, caprolic
ana similar substances in it. We have often
seen Hose httie animals wrigging around in
eheese, out we never knew before that na,n..
had been given them. How wonderful science i.
4 brick fell from .caifoll, yesterday. ON th.
Geou "i passing hegio. Fling deiu d ar peanut
ehei'r hnoder way up dar, won't yer" was the
oai"'J advice. as he scratched his wool
TIE Woodstock !,c'tiHel says:
T." Oldest grain elevator il said to be whisky.
A.Ns 81.