The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-06-08
HOOKS AND EYES.

Ito VI uoC Nill itc
An old steam boiler is used for Jail
in Arkansas.
The woinau who hasn't seventeen
buttons on her gloves is being whom
it were gross 1attery to call au angle.
The latest invention in advertising is
that of Hartford patent medicine man,
who sheared his dog. and painted on the
animal the name of the universal cure.
A Wisconsin art critic, describing a
bust, remarks that the mouth "does
not suggest combative or incorigeble
soul posture"
A religious journal jokes in the fol-
lowing outrageous style: "a girl may
as we'll hang up her fiddle when she
loses her beau"
The hight of pugelistic sarcasm was
reached the other day by jim Mace,
who, speaking of rival accused of
beating his wife said: "What, him?
He couldn't lick postage stamp"
"Well, Pat, why don't you put up
your UMBRELLA" because, yer honor,
the rain nd spile it, an so [ Keep it on
der my arum an divil dhrop it has
got"
"Landlord," said a traveller at the
table of country tavern, "this soup is
a little weaker than [ am used to; |
wish you'd just let that chicken of
yours wade through it once more, if
you please"
Mr.. Billings says everybody is in the
habit of Dragging on job, and Job did
have considerable pashunce; but did he
ever keep district skule for s dollars
month and board round, or run kun
tree newspaper?
An eastern editor is bothering his
head over the following problem: If 4
dogs with 10 legs car catch 20 rabbits
with 81 legs in fourteen minutes, how
many legs mus. the same rabbits have
to get away from s dogs with 32 legs,
in LII minutes, allowing 365 days in
the year?
A little four year old remarked to her
mamma on going to bed, 81 am not
afraid of the dark" "No, of course
you are not" replied her mother, "for
it cant hurt YOU" "But, mamma, l
was afraid once, when l went into the
pantry to get cookie" "What were
you afraid of then?' asked her mamma.
Il was afraid | couldn't find the cook
ies."
A Poughkeepsie farmer wrote to Mr..
Greeley to find out if the cottonwood
tree could be grown in this climate.
Horace said he had planted two years in
succession. half an acre Of cotton-bat-
tiugs hut he hadn't raised timber enough
to build hen orchard. He thinks it
cant be grown unless it t.wants to grow
itself.
A German friend of ours, says an
Exchange, got his dandcr up the other
day, upon the arrival of second pair Of
twins, and said to his family physician:
"Ov You hlcesc, doctor, it is potter dat a
schtop be boot to desc dings. Won bair
of dwins, | diuks, is allies recht, but
more as dat is blaid owit, don't it?
OATS vot's de matter nit me. You
know how it ish myself"
Since all housekecpCrs are interested
in knowing how to keep moths out of
carpets; it may be well to try this:
Wiring a coarse towel out Of clean Wa
ter; spread it smoothly on the carpets;
iron it dry with good hot iron; rereat
the operation on all parts of the carpet
suspected to be infested with moths
No need to press hard, and neither the
pile nor the carpet will be injured, and
the moths will be destroyed by the heat
and steam.
That great Sou u'western expounder Of
the Constitution, Andrew johnson, is
Swinging round the circle" again in
Tennessee on Constitutional principles;
but he fights shy of the fourteenth and
amendments, and leans de-
cidedly toward reputation. But jeff
Davis is also travelling around in the
South on the Constitution, aud when
these two expounders meet we shall per-
haps know all about it.
A Question-A young man recently
wrote to paper, asking whether it would
be advisable for him to marry ga young
and tender angel, who had never done
her own washing or dressmaking." In
reply. the editor advised him to do so
by all means, and mentioned similar
case in his own experience, where the
bride had never done her own washing;
but after married she became so fond of
the wash-tub, as not oaly to work Tor
her own family, but for several families
among her acquaintance.
The growth of the Americal Episco-
pal Church during the last ten years has
been remarkable. Nearly fifty bishops
will meet this year at the great Trien-
nal Convention, to be heldin Baltimore
in October. A few years ago less than
,ue half of this number were present
IN similar occasions, The great States
have had to be divided. New York in
% FIVE dioceses, Pennsylvania, Mary
and, Virginia, into two aud three each.
The growth of the church in the West
,rn States and new Territories, and on
he Pacific Coast, almost exceeds that of
he East. On the line of the great
Pacific Railroads hardly hamlet or