Mower County transcript., 1871-07-06
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,
STEPS UrwAND'- '-Going to bed.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
"STEps UrwAKD'-G Going to bed.
THE DEAR DEPARTED -Venison.
"WoyEN OF MANY TuKEADs"-A shirt.
"TALEs FROM REAL L1FE"-Chinese
"qucucs."
TIE CHEAPEST AND LONGEST CONVEY
ANCE-A train of thought.
Now is the time to insure in the Mutual
Life, of Chicago.
THE st. Louis Herald wants "a real good
boy to make Il devil Of"
OTnELLo was not a lawyer, although he
was q taWny general of Venice.
A GENTLEMAN of Medford Mass, is now
repairing his house, which was built 237
years ago.
FIVE hundred and twenty five thousand
six hundred trains leave London in the
course Of one year.
A GRAVEYARD inscription in Kenne-
bunk, Me, reads thus: Poor Joe! his
head is level now, if it never was before"
JAKE BLlFFKlNs says: MY wife's the
most poetical woman alive; leastways,
she's always 0eTse to me, you bet"
A WIDOW holding policy on her de-
ceased husband in the Washington gets
the money herself. 1t cannot be taken for
his debts.
" SALT" is the subject of the school
boys latest compositions: "The salt is a
spice which spoils the potatoes, if you
forget to put it on
THE Governor Of the District of Colum-
bia received one thousand applications for
one hundred and thirty six offices at his
disposal in Washington.
WHENEVER preacher haz preached a
sermon that pleazes the whole congre-
gashun, he probably has preached one that
the Lord won't indSrse e-Bllings.
A CURIOUS fact about book publishing
in the kingdom of Greece is, that, of every
book published at Athens, nearly three
times as many copies are sold out of the
country as in Greece itself
A CLEVELAND merchant lately received
a package labeled, II box Tom. Cats" 1t
took him some time to deciphcr the fact
that the inscription meant box of tomato
catsup."
No less than two hundred and twenty.
four life insurance companies have been
wound up i'll Great Britain within the last
twenty six years. This is twice as many
as now exist there.
The landlord Of tenement house in
Boston actually called on the person who
rented it, the other day, and asked him
what repairs he wanted made, and what
makes the matter stranger, the landlord
was perfectly sane.
In New York, a boarding house land
lady recently claimed $75 damages against
the property of an ex-boarder because OF
his dying in her house, and thereby injur-
ing her business. The jury would not
grant the claim.
A YOUNG gentleman of Pittstield, Mass,
has recently involved himself in difficulty
by stealing empty bottles from the back
door OF drug store, and then carrying
them round to the front door and selling
them to the owner.
ANOTHER new meat preserving process,
said to be very successful, is described in
the Mon'eur ScientifQue. 1t consists in the
immersion of the meat in solution of per.
fcctly pure carbolic acid in water. Not
only raw meat, but eggs, fish and vegeta-
bles can be preserved by the same method.
THE appearance of Mr.. Darwin's book
on The Descent of Man" has been fol-
lowed, the London papers say, by great
increase in the numbt of visitors to the
monkey house in the Geological Gardens,
Regents Park.
A SHOEMAKER in Fond du Lac, Wis,
whose wife recently presented him with
an heir, has run wire from his bench
and attached it to the cradle in the next
room, and, when the baby cries, the father
keeps step with his foot to the music d,
the lap stone.
IT is said that the salary of President
Eliot, of Harvard College, is $3,2o0, and
of the chief cook of the Parker House,
$4,000. "There is nothing very alarming
in this statement" says the Boston Iravel
Ter; "it only suggests that there are more
men fitted for the presidential chair of
colleges than are capable of taking charge
of the kitchen of a first-class hotel"
MANY tenement houses in New York
are built now with stairways reaching to
the roof, so that tenants have only to open
door, instead of raising a scuttle, when
they want to visit the house.top. The Gu.
rious triangular coverings of these stairs
are visible on many rows of city build
ings.
A FUNNY limb of the law had an Office
next door to doctors shop One day an
elderly gentleman of the fogy school blum
dered into the shop. "Is the doctor in %
"Don't live here" said the lawyer, who
was in full scribble over some old legal
documents. "Oh, l thought this was his
office" "Next door," "Pray, sir, can
you tell me has the doctor many patients?"
"Not living" The old gentleman told the
story in the vicinity, and the doctor threat
ened the lawyer with libel.
AN enthusiastic lady who takes part in
the religious exercises in the St. Louis
Central Police Stations, Sunday mornings,
told one Of the parties she found there, on
a recent Sabbath, that she was glad to see
him sober once, as she could sec by his
looks that he was then so; and after she
had spent some little time in urging him
to reform and lead different lite, closed
her discourse on being informed that the
subject Of her solicitude was minister who
had been invited to assist in the exercises
Of the day.
A GENTLEMAN in Canada gives history
of battle between two swarms of bees,
recently. One swarm, he says, took forci-
BILE possession Of their neighbors' barracks,
and as the attacked defended their rights,
furious fight commenced, and the battle
ragged from AZ till 9p. m. Ncxtmorning,
as the sun appeared, the battle was rcsum-
ed, the marauders appearing not in good
condition, yet showing great pluck. The
carnage continued without intermission
till 10 a. NJ, when hundreds of dead bodies
lay on the plain. At II the hattie ended,
when there was not one of the attacking
party left to tell the tale.