Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-03-22
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FACETIE.
Town Pumps-Local editors.

IOWH ulIlpS-lI Ocdl etlllDTS.
A Limited Monarehy-Napolron's
dynasty.
Ii a man sleighs all day, can he be
said to kill time?
The royal carpet Dagger is wha; they
called the new King of Spain.
Why is thunder strom like an onionf
Because it Is peal on peal.
Nearly all the specu Iations of bauk of.
ficers have ended by leaving Oft the first
letter of that word.
To Young Ladies-Keep your eyes
wide open before marriage, but half shut
afterward.
The greatest pain annibilator' in exs
tence is said TO be an Indian boy, who
has smashed 1000 windows this ysar.
Loss Of China packet shpr ex-
claimed liberal minded old lady as she
laid down newspaper. Il should think
so, when not even iron ones are always
saler
They do business with dispatch in
Texas. A man III Ascertain nrighDnrhood
who had lost valuable mare. received
the following BY telegraph: Mare here
Come get her. Thief hung
you are coward SAID low cox
ney to a poor country man who had re
fused to fight. No, bean't,' said the
couutryman; i have nothing to do with
covs. | am shepherd
A gentleman took lady out to ride
the other evening. aud came home with
false curi attached to the button on tie
side OF his cap. He wonders how it
could have got there.
A man who pretended to have seen
ghost was asked what the ghost said To
him. How should understand repli
ed the narrator, what he said! | am
not skilled in any of the dead languages.
Among the names of places in M'chi
gan are Ghost Like. 'Rattlesnake
swamp 'GalIows Hill, Whisky Station,
Jackknife Ridge 'Cutthroat Greek,
'Betsey's Bridge and Old Woman's
Mask
The Chicago women find a mild form
of dissipation in chewing gum. A pious
lady OF fashion has announced To her
friends her intention of keeping Lent
this year by giving up her gum till East-
EFF she can.
English Style. We'll, if hatch
hand ho hand har hand hess hand
a hee don't spell orse, then my name
haln't 'Enry H.
American Style -'Wa'al, if h-ors
don't spell boss, then you can shoot me.
An Irish Judge had habit # begging
pardon on every occasion. Al the close
OF the assIz., as he was about to leave
the bench, the officer of the court remind
ed him that he had not passed sentence
of death on ore of the cr uinaIs, as he
had intended. Dear me- said his lord
ship; i really beg his pardon
him in
Some thoughtful individual, after duly
considering the subject of woman suffrage
raises serious inquiry, which he pro
pounds in the following fashion: '~'pos
ing that-a-now-OI Logan. for in
stance, should be made President of this
grea, aud glorious country. bequeathed
to us by noble sires, and all thai, she'd
be President Logan, wouldn't she! Well,
now sposing she was to marry, shy a
man by the name of-of Perkins. for
instance, would she be President Logan,
or President Perkins?'
A chaplain of the State prison, an en-
thusiastic devotee of the temperance re
form, had the idea that most of The con
victs were incarceIated because of the use
of whisky. In his round he met sturdy
man OF uany stripes, and put the usnal
question to him. Had whisky any thing
to do with bringing you here?' Every |
thing, Sir, every thing exclaimed the /
man. The chaplain was encouraged,
and eagerly inquired how it was. well,
Sir. III tell you how it was. The judge |
was drunk, aud the lawyers were all
drunk, aud they fetched me in guilty