Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-03-17
Theory VS. Practice.

Theory VS. Practice.
Rev. Elijah Kellogg, in his capital
story, 1.-THE Spark of Genius" re-
lates this funny incident and vouch-
os for its truth:
The extent to which theory often
fails I'm practice Is furnished by q
venerated professor, n most distin>
suished mathematician. whose works
are still used as text. in many
of our institutions, and which occur.
red within the compass of our own
experience.
He went to Bethel; on his return
he spent the Sabbath at Lewiston. .---
Monday morning, he started. He
went few rods, fell down and broke
both thills. He then sent his wife
home and also sent to Brunswick flr
another horse and carriage to take
him and the broken chaise home.
When the driver camethey lashed
the two vehicles together and start
cd. All went well till they came to
the first long, steep hill between
Lewiston and Brunswick on its
summit they held a consultation.-I
The professor had M exaggerated
idea of his strength, and said, "Mr.
Chandler it is too much for the horse
to hold these two carriages on this
steep descent {; take the horse out;
will get into the shafts"
Professor" replied Chandler,
"the breeehing is strong, and 50 is
the arm-girth."
"But the horse, Mr.. Chandler; 1t Is
too much for the horse. Besides be-
ing stronger, know how to take ad-
vantage of the descent, and manage
it much better than the horse"
"If the horse can't hold it, you
can't"
"Do you, sir, intend to place me In
point of intelligence, and knowledge
of mechanical forces, below horse
l have made mathematics the study
of lifetime"
II have no intention to be disre,
spectful, sir; but | know that horse
understands his own business-which
is handling a load on a hill-Letter
than all the professors in the United
States. was sent up here by my
employer, who coniides in me, 10
take care of his property; if you
will take the business out of my
hands, and be the horse yourself, you
must be answerable for tLe conse-
quences."
The professor had habit when Il
little excited, of giving a nervous
twitch at the lapel Of bis coat with
his right hand.
a." he replied, with O most en-
phatic twitch, "assume all response
bility."
The driver, In reality nothing 10th
to witness the operation, took out the
horse and held him by the bride;
and the professor getting into the
shafts, took hold of them at the ends.
The forward carriage was just de-
scending the hill, and the hinder
one little over the summit, when
the professor trod upon a rolling
stone, which caused him to plunge
forward, and increased the velocity
of his load 50 much that he was
forced to walk faster than he desired
and exchange the slanting position
with his shoulders drawn well
back, aud his feet braeed which he
had ut FIRST adopted, for perpendi>
cular one. At length he was pushed
into a run the carriages were going
ut fearful rate.
At the bottom of the hill was q
brook; on each side, precipitous
banks. The professor was between
Scylla.and Charybdis going nine feet
at leap. In order TO cramp the
forward wheel he turned suddenly
to the right. The shafts Of the for
ward carriage went two feet into the
bank, breaking both of them short
off; the lashings of the hinder one
slipped IL ran into the forward one,
breaking the fender; and both vehi-
cles turned over down the hill, with
tremendous crash, the learned
gentleman describing a Parabola-
one of his favorite figures, and land
ing some rods away. lie rose from
the earth dirtier, and wiser man
knees skinned, pants torn, piece of
skin knocked Off bis forehead, and
his best hat flat as "a pancake under
meath the hind carriage; and look
lug around, he exclaimed a
"Is 1t possible | could have been so
deceived as to the momentum 1t
was prodigious ~ .
II don't know anything about
momentum" replied Chandler;
but | know something about horses.
| know ii makes mighty difference
about holding back load on steep
hill whether the horse had two legs
or four, and whether he weighs
hundred and seventy five or twelve
hundred pounds"
1t cost The professor thirty-seyen
dollars ard fifty cents to ascertain
how much horse power he represent
ed.