Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1871-10-04
Unhappy Marriages.

There is nothing more melancholy. But
what shall we do about it? Must people un.
happily married live on in remediless misery?
Must man be forever chained to Xantippe2
Must woman always endure man who is
petty tyrantf These are questions which
some social reformers are asking vehemently
just now. Let us loose these bonds, and let
these chained people go. What right has the
law, civil or moral, to bind people in n living
death? Let people live together who love,
and let people who do not love 20 free.
This surely seems very simple remedy
very easily applied. But is it remedy after
all Will either of these unbappily married
people be any happier if they are separated
You have husband or wife who makes you
exceedingly unhappy Will divorce relieve
you2 You carry still the memory of the un-
happiness, the sense Of disappointment, the
fatal and terrible blight with you. Will not
a separation aggravate your misery And if
one Of the two might be made happier by
divorce, there would be no aggregate increase
of happiness. If you have made mistake
in marriage, it is your mistake. If you are
not happy, your companion surely is not ?
And you have no right now to blight and
blast the life of another unfortunate by sep
aration, making matters tenfold worse than
they are.
People who are unhappily married are not
: likely to remarry happily. If there are tenn
! pers that have spoiled the first marriage,
there is no prospect Of better fate in
second marriage. To these evil tempers there
d is added the shameful recollection of mar.
b riage bond to one who is yet living, and the
humiliation and dishonor Of divorce. For
j marriage is in its very nature indissoluble.
e There cannot be re-marrage while former
d husband or wife lives without hopeless de-
Element of the souls purity, bunting aud
4 blurring of the very sense of purity itself.
r If there are children, the case is worse
d He who is a father indeed, would endure any
is unhappiness rather than subject his children
n to the modification and Generalization Of q
e divided hlial affection and conflicting alle-
h glance to father and mother. In such case,
divorce and re-marriage is confusion, destruc-
y tiou, death.
ID We know that it seems hard for those who
E. sit down in loving homes to advise those who
sit in the shadow of this death to endure it.
Is We are not speaking of those cases Of bru-
ig tality or fendishness in which separation be.
u comes necessary but Of those continual drop
pings aud perpetual rainy days" of pickering
* and dissension, of those sudden and fierce
u storms that sweep through some unhappy
n households. No separation on account of in
ut compatibility of temper can do any good.
a Part Of the unhappiness in any family may
RS be cured by any husband or wife. A bad
is temper is as much misfortune as a sin. II
a is born with some people, and they are nc
a more responsible for its possession than for q
lp splay-foot or a squint-eye. We do not say
X that it may not be controlled. But we dc
as say that your husband or wife is only partly
,e to be blamed for an ill-temper or selfish dis.
position. What is not matter for censure il
IN matter for pity. If you can come to treat
is the unfortunate member of the house as un.
fortunate, you will get your reward, at least
ne in your own peace of mind. Make up your
DC mind to cure all you can of the unhappiness
ar in your household, and patiently to endure the
rest Every one has some burden to bear.
| Yours may be heavy. But there are otherr
also who have heavy burdens. The worst
To termagant we ever knew had also generous
n. qualities. And she married husband who
knew how to bear, to be patient, to conquer
is by patience That she will ever be other
wise than troublesome we doubt. But she is
= utterly devoted to her husband. She regards
IT his conquest of her as little less than mirac-
ulous. We have seen him under vexations but
4 one word 10 any way censuring his wife we
have never heard escape his lips, and we do
: not believe she has ever heard such word.
He has his reward in measure of happiness
\ where a less patient man would have had only
= unmitigated misery.-Hearth and Home.