Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-02-11
BreviGies.

The key to many mems undoings-
whis.key. sa.
A natural book--the volume of
mans voice.
The last blow-out-blowing out the
lamp of life.
Stage drivers look upon rainy days
as peculiarly fare weather. aasH
Perkins says he has eaten so many
sausages in his day that he is afraid to
look dog in the face.
Anybody can lead horse to drink
ing place, but nobody can force him to
drink. How different it is with men. ).
An old maid says woman isn't fit to
have baby who doesn't know how
to hold it; and this is as true of q
tongue as baby, ADDS an old bachelor.
One of the sufferers by the late
railway accident, rushing wildly about
was asked if he was hurt. No. he
said, /" but | cant find my umbrella"
A would>be wit asked his uncle if the
tolhng of bell did not put him in mind
of his approaching end No, sir"
st but the rope puts me in mind of
yours" -
II is the highest duty, privilege and
pleasure for great men to earn what
they possess, to work their own way
through life, to be the architects of their
own fortunes.
Grief.-We should feel sorrow, but
not sink under its oppression the heart
OF wise man should resemble mir
ror, which reflects every object without
being sullied by any.
There is a new song called {. Father
will Settle the Bill" Miss Jones consid.
ers it fine composition, but her papa
can't see 1t, aud Miss Jones says it is
because he is so dreadful deaf.
A gentleman who has unfortunately
broken, his word, is anxious to procure
some cement that will repair it. The
same composition with which people
mend their manners may possible an
swer
Virtue has this happiness, that she
can subsist of herself, and knows how
20 exist without admirers, partisans and
protectors wants assistance approba.
ton does not only affect her, but pre-
serves, pnrifies, and renders her more
perfect.
Scientific men have recently 1iscov,
cred that tho poison, taken into the sys-
ten from continual smoking of tobacco
will cause death in 167 years. We warn
our readers who have been smoking
nearly that time to break themselves
of the habit at once.
A timid bachelor at New Bedford,
Mass, was recently prevented from
making q proposal of marriage to q
young lady of that city through the
latter having remarked thatsshe recog-
nized his unsteady legs in the distance
long before the outline of his featares
could be distinguished.
Mark Twain has this advice for young
men with literary aspiration Write
without pay until somebody offers pay,
If nobody offers pay within 3 years the
candidate may look upon this circum-
stance with the most implicit confidence
as the sign that saving wood is what
he was intended for" fsHE
t,II9 y - i! u
A party of respectable Chicago ladies
have formed society for reclaiming
young men, and they 60 about the
streets nights and pick up young
men who show signs of dissipation, in
vite them to their houses, and treat
them TO ice cream, chicken>salad, etc.,
and Jet them go home sober. Half Of
the young men in the city lie around
the streets nights to be taken in.
An artist in Fincastle painted dog
90 natural that the animal had the hy-
drophobia during the hot weather.
He's the same man that painted copy
of beer bottle with such skill that
the cork few out just as he was finish>
ing. And alter he was married, he
painted picture of his wife's first baby
so life-hke that it cried, and his wife
whipped it before she discovered her
mistake.
A nice, pious old man in Mass,
thought his oxen laid out strength
brushing away flies that might be used
hauling the corn plow, SO he tied bricks
to their tails. The plan worked well
until one of the bricks struck the old
man on the head, when ho was carried
to the house on door. He said he
hadn't thought of this contingency.
The oxen's tails are loose now, and the
old man has had his brains soldered
in with silver.
Poor Fellow "A Chicago man at
tackled one night, aud injured by what
hesupposed was vicious dog, and think.
ing the dog was mad, he applied the
mad stone to the part affected for two
weeks, at an expense of 5000, and was
cured. What was his surprise to learn
that instead of being bitten by rabid
dog, he had been butted in the rear by