South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-09-29
Miscellany.
Josh Billings Under Oath.

JOSH BILLINGS being duly sworn, testify
az follers:
Eight wont go into and hav mutch O.
emmy thing left over. Menny a yung fel
low haz found out this sum in arithme
ticks bi trieing tew git a number s foo
into number 6 boot.
Virteu, in one respekt, is like mummy
That which we hav tew work the hardesst
for sticks tew US the best.
haV often herd tha.e waz men who
knew more than they could tell, but
never met one. l hav often me; thoze
who could tell CRATE deal more than they
did kno, and waz willing teW sware to il
besides.
Hope haz made crate menny blunders,
but thare IL one thing about her that i al
wus did llke-she means well.
Sum people are good simply beksuze
they are tew lazy to be wicked, and others,
bekause they hsnt got good chance.
Thare IL one thing that am not only
certain, but proud ov-thare IL more peo-
pie in this world who hav changed from
bad to good, than from good to bad.
In mummy, interest pholloWs the princi
pal; IN morals, principle often pholloWs
the interest.
Yu will notis one thing-the devil sell
dun offers tew go into partnership with a
bizzy man, but you will often see him offer
tew jine the lazy man, and furnish all the
kapitai.
don't kno, after all, but it liz jist about
az well tew git abuv yure bizzness as it liz
teW hav yure bizzness git abuv yu.
IN time oV peace prepare for war"
This IL the way sum familys liv all the
time
Whenever yu hear a man who alwus
wants tew bet hiz 'bottom dollar" WI kan
make up yure mind that that is the size of
hiz pile.
The devil IL the only individual on reck-
ord who IL sed not tew possess a single !
Virtew.
Thare IL nothing that a man will git so
six ov az too mulch mollassis.
The vices which a man kontrackts in |
hiz youth, however mulch he may shake |
them oph, will often call on him thru |
life, and seek tew renew hiz acquaintance. |
Every man haz hiz phollys, but thsre IL
this diference-in the poor man they look |
like crimes, while in the ritch man, they |
only appear tew be exsentricitys
Old age increases us in wisdom. aud
also in Iumatiam.
kno lots ov pholks who are plus list
bekause they waz born so. They kant tell
when they got religion, and, ifthey should
looEe it, they wouldn't knott.
We never outgro our phollys-we only
alter them
Thare IL this difference between charity
and gift-charity Gums from the heart;
a gift from the pocket.
Coquets are generally too silly to be
very wicked.
Thare IL full az menny pholks in this
world who hav bin ruined bi kindness az
thare IL who hav bin injured bi kruelty.
The man who IL wicked enuff tew be
dreaded IL safer man in community than
the one who liz just virtewous enuff not to
be suspekted.
Flattery il the wust kind of ieing. :
Hypockrasy IL alwus humble.
Gravity don't prove emmy thing. If a | !
man IL really wize, be don't need it, and if
be amt wize, he shouldn't hav it
1t IL jist az natral tew be born poor az
1 il tew be born naked, and it liz no more 6
disgrace.
Thare IL no excuse whatever for the in t
science ov wealth; thare may possibly be c
Tor the insolence ov poverty. 7
Lazyness IL the fust Law oV natur; self l
oreservashun IL the seckond. s
Yu kant konyeN sinners bi preaching
he gospel tew them at half price Emmy
sinner who IL anxious tew git hiz religion
n that way, il satisfied with poor arti- t
zle.-Reso York Weekly.