Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-07-27
ABOUT BA., BERS.


ways of BARRIERS, and the surroundings
OF BARRIERS. These never change. What
one experiences in barber shop the
first time he enters one, is what he al
ways experiences in barDer shops after
ward till the end of his days. | got
shaved this morning as usual. A man
approached the door from Jones street
as / approached it from Main-a thing
that always happens. 1 hurried up, it
was of no use; he entered the door one
little step ahead of me, and I followed
in on his heels and saw him take the
the only vacant chair, the one presided
over by the best barber. 1t always hap
pens so. / sat down, hoping that 1
might fall heir to the chair belonging
to the better of the remaining two bar
bers, for he had already begun combing
his mans hair, while his comrade was
not yet quite done rubbing up and OIL
ing his customers locks. / watched the
probabilities with strong interest. When
/ saw that No. was gaining on No. 1,
my interest grew to solicitude. When
No. 1 stopped amoment to make change
on bath ticket for a newcomer, and
lost ground in the race, my solicitude
rose to anxiety. When No. caught
up again, and both he and his comrades
were pulling the towels away and brush
ing the powder from their customers
cheeks, and it was about an even thing
which one would say ''Next!" fist, my
very breath stood still with thesuspense.
But when, at the final eliminating
mement, No. stopped to pass comb
8 couple of times trough his customers
eyebrows, saw that he had lost the
race by single instant, and rose in
dignant and quilted the shop, to keep
from falling into the hands of No. 2;
for 1 have none of that enviable firm
ness that enables man to look calmly
into the eyes of waiting barber and
tell him he will wait for his fellow-bar-
ber's chair. I stayed out fifteen min
utes, and then went back, hoping for
better luck. Of course all the chairs
were occupied now, and four men sat
waiting, silent, unsociable, distraught,
and looking bored, as men always do
who are awaiting their turn in bar
ber's shop. sat down in one of the
irOn-armed compartments of an old
sofa, and put in the time for a while,
reading the framed advertisements of
all sorts of quack nOstrums for dyeing
and coloring the hair. Then read the
greasy names on the private bay rum
bottles; read the names and noted the
numbers on the private shaving cups
in the pigeon holes; studied the stained
and damaged cheap prints on the walls,
of battles, early Presidents, and volup-
tuous, recumbent sultanas, and the tire
some and everlasting young girl put
ting her grandfather's spectacles on;
execrated in my heart the cheerful
canary and the distracting parrot that
few barber sh ops are without. Finally,
searched out the least dilapidated Of
the last years illustrated papers that
Uttered the foul centre-table, and con-
ned their unjustifiable misrepresenta-
tions of old forgotten events. AT last
my turn came. A voice said "Next!"
and l surrendered to-No. 2, of course.
1t always happens SO. said meekly
that was in hurry, and it affected
him as' trongly as if he had never
heard it. He showed up my head and
put napkin. under it. He ploughed
his fingers into my collar and fixed a
towel there. He explored my hair
with his claws and suggested that it
needed trimming. ] said 1 did not
want it trimmed. He explored again
and said it was pretty long for the pres
it needed it behind, especially. / said
had it cut only week before
He yearned over it rehectivelya mo-
ment, and then asked with a disparag-
ing manner, who cut it. / came back
at him promptly with "You did!' /
had him there. Then he fell to stirring
up his lather and regarding himself in
the glass, stopping now and then to get
close and examine his chin critically or
torture pimple. Then he lathered
one side of my face thoroughly, and
was about to lather to other, when a
dog fight attracted his attention, and
he ran to the window and stayed and
saw it out, losing two shillings on the
result in bets with the other BARRIERS, a
thing which gave me great satisfaction.
He finished lathering, meantime get,
ting the brush into my mouth only
twice, and then began to rub in the
suds with his hand; and as he now had
his head turned discussing the dog
fight with the other BARRIERS, he natur-
ally shovelled considerable lather into
my mouth without knowing it, but /
did. He now began to sharpen his
razor on an old suspender, and was de-
layed a good deal on account of q con-
troversy about cheap masquerade
ball he had figured at night before, in
red cambria and bogus ermine, as some
kind of king. He was so gratified
with being chaffed about some damsel
whom he had smitten with his charms,
that he used every means to continue
the controversy by pretending to be
at the chafhngs of his fellows.
This matter begot more surveyings Of
himself in the glass, and he put down
his razor and brushed his hair with
elaborate care, plastering an inverted
arch of it down on his forehead, accom-
plishing an accurate part behind, and
brushing two wings forward over his
ears with nice exactness. In the mean
time the lather was drying On my face,
and apparently eating into my vitals.
Now he began to shave digging his fin
gers into my countenaEce to stretch the
skin, making handle of my nose now
and then, tumbling nv head this way
manded, and "hawking" and expecto-
rating pleasantly all the while. AS
long as he was on the tough sides Of my
face l did not suffer; but when he began
to rake, and rip and tug at my chin, the
tears came. did not mind his getting so
close down to me; did not mind his
garlic, because all BARRIERS eat garlic, l
suppose; but there was an added some
thing that made me fear that he was
decaying inwardly Will still alive,
and this gave me much concern. He
now put his finger into my mouth to
assist him in shaving the corners of my
upper lip, and it was by this bit of cir
cumstantial evidence that discovered
that part of his duties in the shop was
to clean the kerosene lamps. had
often wondered in an indOlent way
whether the BARRIERS did that, or wheth-
er it was the boss. About this time /