Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-09-28
Brevities and Levities.

UES Liz Il6hs VA 10y w SNAS6A"fN
poles is bringing large premium in
Savannah, in view of the prophesied
tidal wave.
ns- A gentleman who had been VIC
timized by notorious borrower who
always forgot to pay, called him one of
the most promising men of his acquain-
tance.
@r A little four year old child told
his father he was fool. Upon being
reprimanded by his mother, and told to
say that he was sorry for it, the fellow
toddled to his parent and said: Papa,
Use sorry you's fool"
@s- An old lady n Q train not far from
Lafayette, hearing the brakesman sing
out Eubank's Cut!" sailed to the door
and asked, "Is he hurt much?"
@ A great philanthropist living
among cod people once said that he
knew no family that had not sooner or
later quarreled about the money.
g A widow, a boarding house keeper
out in Kansas, who entered a complaint
against boarder, gave her age as twen-
ty- three, when she is fifty if sheis day,
and the enraged Justice dismissed the
case without inquiring: any further.
ns-The North Carolina Supreme Court
has decided that, for lawyer to call a
witness a pennsylvania Yankee" is
"gross abuse"
s~- A verdant youth Of West Donegal
township, Lancaster county, sent dol
lar to New York for method of writing
without pen and ink. He received the
following inscription, in largo letters:
"Write with pencil" Sold again!
Ms- A Niissourian and his wife and
seven children walkedtwenty-five miles
to Kansas City to see Q circus.
@- A Western girl, after giving her
lover hasty smack, exclaimed: "Dog
my cats, if you hain'titaken little rye,
old hoss."
MJ~ An invalid once complained to his
ncghbor of shanghai which tho latter
kept. The bird was terrible nuisance,
and gave him no peace, day or night.
"But,n said the skeptical owner, "my
cock only crows four or five times day.
I don't see how that can annoy you SO
much" Because" replied the sufferer,
"you don't take into account all the
times when am expecting him to crow"
u.s. English ladies don't allow them
selves to be put on the shelf quite as soon
as ours. They are not supposed to reach
the full bloom of maturity until 40, an
age at which all true judges think their
charms XL.
ms.> A young man in New Hampshire
agreed with an acquaintance that if he
would eat six quarts of boiled custard,
he would swim two miles in pond. The
challenged man disposed of the custard,
and the next morning tho other swan to
the prescribed point, and then turned
around and swan back into the lake some
twenty rUt;s, Blvihs as ,v-.'Ss.i ti,'!. MS
friend, on finishing the pudding, licked
the spoon, andhe wanted to Go the square
thing.
ss- A young man at Holly Springs,
Miss, recently volunteered to aid in
taking up the collection at one OF the
churches there, and succeeded i'll raising
considerable sum. He approached the
door, and was about to go out with his
hat full of contributions on his head,
when the eministersaid solcmnly, Young
man, if YOU leave here with that money,
You'll bo damned The young man,
however, left in hurry, and, as he shut
the door behind him, worthy old bach
clor, with voice in +. sharp, who put a
dollar in the hat, pipcd out to the minis
ter, "Well, if he amt gone with it, III
be d--dw
as- At Long Branch the other evening
a ablacl1-cyed girl with mischievous smiles
playing all over her f,co asked General
Grant, whom she metat social gather
ing, if he could sing "Givo Me Cot"
The President "saw it, at once, and his
brow became cloudet as ho answered
answered sharply, "Inever sing, Miss"