The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1871-07-06
what 1 KuO about Pharmin.'
Nv Josh BILLINGS.

! L6W pfOuOuuC0 ~ DNi-
Pharmin Cnow dse} IL pretty
much all theory, ans sherefore it
amt astonishing that mao kan liv
in New York and De good chan
Gerry lawyer and also kno all about
pbarmin.
A pharm (now daze) ov one hun
dred akers will produce more buck
wheat and punkins, run on theory,
than it would sixty years ago, run
with manure and hard knoks.
Thare il nothing like book larn-
ing, and the time will eventually
cum, when a man won't hav to hag
only one ov "Josh Billings Pharm-
ers' Almanax," TO run a pharm, OF
a kamp meeting with.
Even now it amt unkommon.
to see three or four hired men on a
pharm, with three or four spans o7
oxen all standing still, while the
boss goes into the library and reads
himself up for the days ploughing
iii was running pharm (now
daze) suppose i would rather have
36 bushels ov sum nu breed ov po-
tatoze, raised on theory, than tew
hav "a bushels, got in the mean,
benighted and underhand way, ov
our grand parents.
Pharmin, after all, il good deal
like the tavern Dizziness, emmy one
thinks they can keep hotel, (now
daze) and emmy body thinks they
kan pharm it (now daze) and they
kan, but this is the way that poor
hotels cum to be 50 plenty, and this
IL likewize what makes pharmin
such easy and profitable Dizziness.
Just take the theory out Of
pharmin and there amt nothing
left, but hard work and all fred
lite krops.
When / see so mutch pholks rush
ing into theory pharming, as there
iz Cnow daze) and so menny Of them
rushing out again, think O
of that remarkable peeco ov skiptur
which remarks, "menny are called
but few are chosen"
[ onst took a pharm on shareI
miself and run her on some theory
= aud the thing figured up this way
} / dun all the work, phurnished al
the seed and manure, had the. agu
9 months out of u, for mi share 0
the profits, and the other phellov
= paid the taxes on the pharm for hi
a share.
By mutual konsent quit th
f pharm at the end ov the year.
D What kno about pharmin ain
+ wurth braging about, and feel
mi duty to state, for the benefit o
0 mi kreditors, that if they ever ez
g pekt me tew pay 5 cents on do
lar, they mustn't start me in th
+ theoretical pharmin employ.
o If a man really is anxious te7
d make mummy on a pharm, the lei
II theory be lays in the better, and /
Il must du pretty mulch all the wor
hisself, and support hiz family o
, what be kant sell, and go raggc
d enuff all the time tew hunt bees.
I kno ov many pharmers WI
are so aflikted with superstishu
that they wont plant single bea
only in the last quarter ov the nun
and kno ov others so pregnal
with science that they wont set
gate post until they have had tt
;. ground analized by sum profess
~ ov anatomy, tew see if the earth hi
Cot the ripht kind ov ingredien
for post holes.
This il what call running S,
- ;. ence into the ground.
The fakt ov it il, the theories,
- all kinds, work well except in prs
I'd tiss; they are too often designed
- do the work of practiss.
-. There amt no theory in breaki
tb mule, only tew go at him with
~ kIub in you're hand and sum bio
bo in you're eye and brake him, just
,1s you would split log.
nv What i kno about pharmin a
wuth mutch emmy how, but 1 und
,Iv took to bra Ike a kickin heffer on
an I red treatiss on the subjekt Q
ese phollowed the directions cluss 6
.ial got kpokt endwaze in about
Use minits.
Ithen sot down and thot. the tn
sIv over.
.ity I made up mi mind that the pI
1rv low who wrote the tretiss woz N
sed in the tretiss Dizziness than he '
the in the kicken heffer trade.
1ch 1 cum tew the konkIushun t
OBJ what he knu about milking kicl,
heffers he had learnt bi leaning G
barn-yard fence and writing
Ow, thing up.
ho- I got up from mi reaeksh
cen, strengthened and went for that
ith- Ter.
rich 1 will draw a vail over the
DIOR guago used and the things
luff bat went in to win and ac0n!
rab, That heffer never bokum a co
i'm This IL wun wa tew brake K
rich ing heffer and after a man has S
pie, did all the books in kreashan
yery the subjek and tried them on
The will fall back onto mi plan
or make up his mind, az did, th
kicking hefer il with more