Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-03-01
Mark twain ON JuvenlIe p.g,l,sts.

9Th INST, the following paternai opJurga'
tons by Mark Twain:
Yes. I've had good many fights in
my time, said old John Parky. tenderIy
manipulating his dismantled nose, 'and
Us lind Of queer. too, for when | was a
boy the old man was always telling me
better. He was good man ard hated
fighting. When l would come home
with my nose bleeding or with my face
scratched up, he used to call me out in
the wood shed, and in sorrowful and
discouraged way. say, so johnny, you've
had another fight, hey! How many
times have got to tell you bow disgrace
full and wicked it is for boys to fight? 1t
was only yesterday that l talked to you
an hour about the sin of fighting, ard
here you've been at it again. Who did
you fight with this time? With Tommy
Kelly, heya Don't you know any better
than to fght boy that weighs twenty
pounds more than you do besides being
two years olders Amt We got spark
of common sense about ye? | can see
plainly you are determined to break your
poor old fathers heart with your reckless
ness. What ails your fngers Tommy
bit it, did he! Drat the little fool !
Didn't We know enough to keep yer fing
er out of his mouth? Was trying TO
yerk bis check off, hey! Won't ye never
learn to quit fooling round boys mouth
with yer fingers! You're bound to dis
grace US all by such behavior. You are
determined never to be nobody? Did
you ever hear of Isaac Watts-that
wrote, Let dogs delight to bark and to
bite'-sticking his fingers into boys
mouth TO get 'em bit, like fool? I'm
clean discouraged with We.
Why didn't ye go for his nose. like
Jonathan Edwards, and George Wash
ington, and Danl Webster, used to, when
they was boys? Couldn't cause be had
ye down! That's purity story to tell
me. 1t does beat all that you can't learn
how Socrates and William Penn used to
ougewhen they was under, after the
hours and hours I've spent in telling you
about those great men! 1t seems to me
sometimes as if should have to give
you up in despair It's an awful trial to
me to have boy that don't pay any at
tention to good example nor to " hat !
say. What! You pulled out three o,
four handfuIs of bis hair! II M! Did
he sqrirm any? Now if you had Gin
him one or two IN the eye-but as I've
told We many a time, fighting is poor
business. Won't you-for your fathers
sake-won't you promise to try and re.
member that. He m! Johnny, how did
it-ahem-which licked?
You licked him! Sho! Really
We'll now. hadn't any idea you could
lick that Tommy Kelly! | don't believe
John Bunyan, at ten years old. could
have done it. Johnny my boy, you
can't think how l hate to have you fight
ing every day or two. | wouldn't have
had him lick you for five-no not for ten
dollars! Now, Sonny, run right in and
wash up, and tell yer mother to put rag
on your finger! And. Johnny. don t lei
me hear of your fighting agan!'
| never see anybody so down on fight
ing as the old man WAS, bat some how
he never could break me from it.
Rev. T. De Witt Talmage, of Brooklyn,
contributes to the Independent an account
of visit TO Thomas Carlyle, and after
dos riding the peculiarly rusty aspect oil
that distinguished persons library, pro.
eds in this skctchy style to speak Of
literary mems 'studits:'
I'VE have a friend Of many PECULIAR
ties. Entering bis study. You find moth
ing 10 the place where you expected it.
Don Quixote,' with all its wind mills,
mixed up with d Jetor Dick on tho Sac
ramen:s.' Mark Twain's Jumping Frog
and Charnoch on the Attributes -
Passing across the room, you stumble
across the manuscript of his las, lecture
or put your fooi in piece Of pie that has
fallen off the end of the writing table,
You mistake his ESSAY on the 'Copernican
System for blotiing paper Many of his
best books arc berelt of the binding. and
in attempting 10 replace the covers Hud
ibras' gets the cover that belongs to
Barnes on Acts of the Apostles An
earthquake in the room would be moro
apt to improve than unse;tle. There are
marks where the inkstand became un.
stable. and made handwriting on The
wall that even Daniel could not have in
terpreted. If, some fatal day. the wife
or housekeeper come 10, while the occu
pant is absent. to clear up damage is
done that takes weeks to repair. For
many days tn, question is: Where are
my pens2 Who bias the Concordance
What on earth has become of the Die
tionary? Where is the paper-cut-
ter? Work is impeded, patience lost,
engagements are broken, because it was
not understood that the study is part
of the students life, and that you might
as well try to change the knuckl@s to the
inside Of the hand, or set the eyes in the
middle Of the forehead, rs to make the
man of whom we speak keep his pen on
the rack, or his books off the floor, or the
blottiBg paper straight in the portfolio.