Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-04-22
NUMBER IS.
FACT AND FANCY.

| neSS arc 0Te'
Before man enters the state of matrimony he
should ring the belle.
Why is the air of Germany bad for consump-
tives2 Because it is too tonic
"What did you give for that horse, neighbor2"
" My note" Well, that was cheap"
wood-chopper is. always polite man, for
when he wants wood he goes and ares for it,
"Wood is the thing after ALL" as the man
with the oak leg said when the mad dog bit it.
1t is at the approach of dinner-time that we
feel most Sensibly " the emptiness of things be-
low"
"Well, Bridget, can't you scour tinware with
alacrity?' "No, mum, always scour it with
sand"
Carlyle says, Make yourself good man and
then you will be sure there is one rascal less in
| the world"
In stating how Eve told Adam to chastise his
son, five Scripture names are used "Adam,"
Seth Eve, I" Cain Able"
One OF the neatest toasts ever given: "Wo-
man-the last word on our lips, because it comes
from the bottom of our hearts,"
sharp young woman says there is nothing
more touching in this life than to see poor
but virtuous young man struggling with weak
moustache.
Piney Forrest is the name of the single female
editor of Mississippi, and it is not too fr-fetched
to say that when she "pitches in " she proves
herself q tartar.
Al.
his hat every time he lost u wife or mother-in-
law it is estimated that he would have hat
twenty y-seven feet high.
Lafayette Qnd.) man got mixed up with
some car-wheels, and the doctors are deliberat-
ing whether to amputate the man to save his
sound leg, or to call the whole thing total loss.
An absent-minded Indianan who started out
after his COW, found the cow-bell in the road,
and pocketing it, followed its tinkling for over
twenty miles before he remembered it was not
on the cows neck.
White Cloud (Kansas) hunter few days
ago shot wild duck, in the craw of which were
found several flakes of gold. The Chief thinks
it must have been defendant of the bird that
laid the golden eggs.
Mrs. Bella French, in her Western Progress,
in giving an account of her visit to st. Paul and
her lecture, says: 60 Several of the first ladies
of st. Paul met us at the close of the lecture,
kissed u.s. and bade us God speed in the good
work We also received flattering congratula-
tions from number of gentlemen Oho looked as
IF they wished to kiss us but toere too 6ashfM."
In one of the pleasant villages in western
New York, the other day, certain worthy
housekeeper thought she would call on hor near
est neighbor. She was about entering the door,
but hestated, thinking that the family might be
taking their supper. "Come in" said the host
ess, awe are having tableaux." "Yes, re-
piled the visitor, ~ thought sueh them"
Two travellers having been assigned to the
same bedroom in a crowded hotel, one of them,
before retiring, knelt down to pray, and con-
fessed long catalogue of sins. On arising
from his knees he saw his fellow traveller, yalise
in hand, going out of the door, and exclaimed,
GO What's the matter2 WHAT up2" "Oh, moth
ing" was the reply, "only Pm not going to
risk myself with such a scamp as you confess
yourself to be p
I" Have you no pen and ink p said doctor to
a poor woman whose child he was tending.
"No," said the poor woman. "Well, have
lost my pencil give me piece of chalk" and
the doctor chalked a prescription on the door,
telling her to give it to her son when he awoke.
" Take it, my boy, take it, said the old woman,
lifting the door from its hinges and carrying it
to the poor boy, when he opened his eyes. 81
don't know how you are to do it, I'm sure, but
the doctor says it's good, and had better
try it,"
Horace Mann was once seated in bn omnibus
with q young man who coolly too out q cigar,
lit a match, and put the cigar his mouth.
Mr.. Mann stopped the coach and insisted that
the young man should be elected br disobeying
the rules. He was not pacifed a. kil the owner
of the cigar touched the indig INT reformer's
hand with the uncharred end, ixproOf that the
cigar had never been lightsH and Mr., Mann,
10th to lose an opportunity to impress moral
truth upon a wayward youth, turned around and
lectnred him severely upon the vice of decep-
tlon.
In a Western village charming, we'll pre-
served widow had been courted and won by
physician. She had children among them
crippled boy, who had been petted, and, if not
spoiled, certainly allowed great " freedom of de-
bate" The wedding day was approaching,
and it was time the children should know they
were to have new father. Calling the Grip
pied boy, the widow said:
George, am going to do something before
siong that woul like to talk about with you. l
am intending to marry DR.. Jones in few days,
and -