The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-02-21
Miscellaneous.

Law IS ike sieve you may SCS
through II, but you must be considerably
reduced before you can get through it.
The difference between a country
ald a city greenhorn is that the one
would like to know everything, and
the other thinks he can tell him.
A little Boston girl joyfully assured
her mother the other day that she had
found out where they made horses
she had seen man in shop just
finishing one of them, for he was nail
ing on his last foot.
Little Jimmy Wens, New York
news5oy, is the inventor of walking
of on his ear" lie throws his heels
into the air, places his ear on the floor
and propels himself rapidly across the
room by his hands.
A Detroit girl, who wears beaver
and carries q cane, tried to kiss hotel
waiter t'other day. The insulted youth
complained to the landlord, who IN
formed the o6ener that she must re-
spect the men about the house.or leave.
A gentleman of Washington, hard
pushed for compliment to Il fair lady,
whose face was marrad by an undenia-
be fiat nose, remark ed" Madam,yOu
are fallen angel from Heaven, but
you fell on your nose.
Jno. Jacob Astor was addressed by
poor person once like this: IL WISH
| had your wealth" "WouId you take
care Of my property for your bread
and clothes asked Astor. No. 'exciaim-
ed the querist. "That is all l get;
replied Astor
A printer dunned a man for the
amount Of his bill The debtor said
he was "Sorrv verv sorry, indeed that
he couldn't pay it, well" said the
printer, Il took you for man that
, would be sorry; but if you are sorrier
than am I'll knock under"
A gentleman having a pony that
started and broke his wile's neck, a
neighbor told him that he wished to
purchase it for his wife to ride upon.
mo" SAYS the other, 81 will not sell
the little fellow, because l intend to
marry again"
Mr. Hoffman, OF Texas, was in a
BARRIERS chair, getting shaved, when
an unknown man entered and shot
him dead. The gross impropriety
of such familiarity, without the form
ality Of an introduction, will be we
think, universally conceded.
At Cedar Falls, Iowa, says an e&-
change they get mad if man goes in
to the theatre with cigar in his mouth
. and puts his heels on the shoulders Of
the man in front of him. A man got
} arrested Just for that out three. There
is no socibility about some people.
A strong movement is afoat at Boston
for the relief of the needlewomen and
Other working girls, many ofwhom are
now out of employment. boarding
places where living may be had at
t small expense will be established, and
+. other philanthropic plans will soon be
, carried out.
+, And now Phil. Sheridan is turning
his attention to legal Requirements.
He is to be married on his return from
Europe 10 Mrs Bessie Law, one Of tho
bellies of Zanesyiile, Ohio. lie cvl-
IDENTIFY wants his phil of relations IN
law, A fatherin-lHW Law, mother.
in-law Law, Il sister-in-law LAVA !
Frank Buckland, the well-known
naturalist, says the best way Of secur-
ing ones portmenteau speedy transit
; through any custom-house, British or
foreign, is to have live snake on the
top of the articles contained in 1t.
This is about the first suggestion Tor
utilizing snakes since Punch years ago,
had picture of Kentuckian clean
ing his meerscham pipe by walking a
live rattlesnake through it."
A countryman was standing on one
of the wharves the other day watching
the progress of hosting an anchor of a
schooner, which was getting under
weigh, and as he saw the huge iron
rise from the water to the "GO heave
, oh!' of the sailors, he remarked: "4Ou
may heave high and heave low, but
you will never get that crooked thing
through that little hole! know bet
ter"
Harrison county can beat the mean
est man in Indiana A farmer in the
north part of that county has his aged
father living with him. and employed
at low wages. Last week the farmers
child died, aud naturally enough the
old man attended the funeral of his
grandchild The dutiul son in set
ding with his father few days after
the funeral, docked him for the time
he had lost in attending the child's
burial.
A worthy old gentleman in a neigh,
horing town is very absent-miuded and
has a short memory. 1t is a oOmmon
, habit with him in the pulpit to toiget~
something. and then after sitting down
to rise up again, and begin bis supple
, mentury r,murks with the IMPRESSION;
"By the way A few Sundays ago
J he got halfway through prayer
when he htsitnted, forgot what he was
about, and sat down abruptly without