The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-09-30
VARIETY.


mable bonds-Vagabonds.
krows bigger the more you contract it?
= buttermiIk like something which never
III? Because it hasn't curd (occurred).
e| the most notable resemblances between
VI and a church is that both have loud
q the upper story.
.FIvE PEoPLE.-Beware of inquisitive
"A wonderful curiosity to know all is
accompanied by as great an itch to tell
Il Clayton, of Fort Wayne. Ind, has ap-
"a patent for an improved gaiIows. And
'5dy was ever hung on the old kind who
zplaIned that they did not work efectu-
'ton, they call founding hospitals asylums
Smous infants; in Chicago they style
:nstitutions for babies born on the Euro
anger meeting a man in the streets of
!. lew days since, roughly accosted him
here, l want to go to the fremont
The deliberate reply was, 90 Well, you
i You won't be gone long,"
pnng lady at the Ohio Camp meeting asked
x7eEs of the assembly because she could not
x eyes upon certain young man in her
ROOD without feeling as though she must
',<r1 n death.
ze BID man, who knew all about it. on ra-
{ 1<f4 business gave the following sage ad-
81 'ie son and successor:
1<zsHpn sense, my son, is valuable in all
nsIness, except in love making
y enday school in Ripon teacher asked a
- u he knew what the expression 4" sow
I17<2 meant. Courth l does - said he
q - seat of bis little trowsers round in
There's tear my ma sewed feared
''Fs Down hill"
t<zbman having jumped into the water tc
4an from drowning, upon receivinga quar-
~ the person as reward for the service
) 1<st at the money and then at him. and a
r-.eimed :-'' I'm overpaid for the job
r<oTkL PECULIARITIEs.-Whe hen intoxicated,
t11an wants to dance German, to sing
1'ard, to gamble; an Englishman, to eat
iian. to boast {; Russian, to be affection
q Eishman, to fight; aud an American, t
Z beech.
F--~Eor girls to expect to be happy withou
mrried. Why, babies are as necessar
x reace of mind as good health and tb
~ T. Of bounets.
ecer comfortable writer saws: We rssem
2 q 'i-eomplacca. cid squire ~ tLe iar,f
&c OF y Washington LrFirg. VIII
'Z>- pc seei12, So s-Fe 81 ais B5oIer Parish
- toward hia aa-ls rol IT, --4....,,,.
- l'-ealiy Of a rich uan ere = th,
1M q. .!ea.en
c1e of the late terribly hot days. a IittI.
t1ree years and half, who was perspirinO
~, ran to bis mother, saying: 80,
'es S Leaklng all 0Ueri' The same little
Z "a another occasion, had the misfortune 10
nnger. 1t bled profusely, and he went to
.oc latheF, crying bitterly, asking him to
np; the juice is all coming out"
elgner who heard of the Yankee nronen.i.
aging, thought he would beat the ma.
!. snelr own game. Seeing some very large
IONS on marketwoman's stand, he eS-
" nat don't you raise larger apples
= IN America ~ The quick-witted wo-
ealateiy replied, +" Anybody might know
ioreigner; them's currants!''
4 CROOK SToRr.-The Oshkosh Time, eives
2ii0"ing - Black Crook" story: SMv
ilu the wife, " the Black Crook ia here !.
witness it to night? ?'' "WeII ,, said
'ano' :" Id better 90 alone tonight and
Is proper place for ladies', e Yes suu
Feid the wife, 1" 1 rather euess ia het,o-
4na see II 1t is proper place for gentle
Aothsehilds are said to be such firm be-
z luck that they will never emniov snv
ny capacity who has been unf6rt1nats
ays ask the man who applies to the.,
satlon, however humble, d" Have Won ever
pad luck p and if the reply be in the
se, ne is rejected without further discns-
TINS apparently severe and unjust mode
9 lney attribute much of their extraordi-
fccess in business.
gnt little boy about four years of age.
eiergyman, was at your correspondent :
e evening with his parents, and I gave
Vi nSe cent pieces. He laid them
sns ' ana putting bis finger on one said,
= TO one ?, am going to keep myself." he
u snsm awhile, till finally one of them
ana ne could not find Il ." we'll
my lad, which one have Won Iost =,
- ne' " | have lost the one 1 Was % eo;nc