davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
What Ben Wade Caught In San Domingo

The Washington correspondent Of the
Baltimore Gazette has been furnished with
very laughable account OF the doings and
sayings at the State dinner, given by the
President to the San Domingo commission
ers the other day, a portion of which he
relates as follows:
AS usual, the chronological commission
er began to dllate upon the insect tribes
(his speciality which inhabit the island
Tired with, and piqued at discussions upon
such subjects, the venerable Wade thrust
his right hand under his left armpit, and
pulled out, between his thumb and forefn-
ger, an insect of peculiar formation
sNow," said he, ssMr. Professor of Ento-
mology, I dare you right here, before his
Excellency's face, to tell me what this is :?
The ssprofessor,' smiling, took up the in
teresting little creature on the tip Of his
knife blade, and placing it upon a sheet Of
pure white foolscap paper, proceeded to
philosophise as follows:
ssThisseemingly disgusting. and to many,
disagreeable little formation of Proyi-
dence's inscrutability, belongs to the order
parasitic it has six legs;a mouth furnish
ed with a proboscis, antenne as long as the
thorax, and the abdomen depressed and
formed of severa! segments." Warming
up with the subject, he continued -"Please
observe the rich black streaks running up
and down this little animals back. This
is the effect of the coloring matter lying
between certain portions of what is vulgar
ly called the whole skin. The skin, what
ever the ignorant may suppose, consists OF
two separate organs, namely, the eptdesqn;s
or scarf skin, and the cutix or proper skin.
Between these two lies the aete nucosun,
It depends somewhat upon the food it feeds
on what the precise color these streaks may
assume in this very interesting little spec
linen of the Deity's Providence.''
Atthis juncture the worthy President
of the Commission could hold ont no lon
ger. Said he: eMr. President, it's all
stuff; there's no sepidermis.' nor ecutis,'
nor srete mucosum' about this business =
It's plain niger body-louse, presented
(without my consent or wish) by Baez to
this glorious country, as specimen of the
rich productions Of his part of the Island
of San Domingo.
ssThe least said about this matter" re-
piled his Ezcellency, e'the better"
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
A story of western Hanging.

| Several years ago, when the West was a
comparatively new country, an individual
presented himself at the door of a log grocery
in the settlement Of which we write and ask
ed if there was judge 10 the place. Upon
being Informed that the storekeeper himself
was judge, the stranger proceeded:
| "Well, Judge, you see the facts of the ease
| is this; | was trayelin' along with pardner
down here piece as he showed me silver
dollar which he had. Well, | wanted the
money, and whom he wasn't looking popped
him under the ear with my pistol. Then [
took his silver and tobacker and cum along
alone; bat got to thinking the matter over,
and don't think did just the right thing
to my pardner. My conshuns has been
rroublin me, and think ought to be hung.
Now, Judge. il it wouldn't lie too much
trouble, I'd like to have you try me aad have
me hung. If you doubt the facts in the case,
there's the dollar took from my pardner,
aud you'll find his remains down the road a
piece under a log. IN feel delighted to you,
Judge, if you will have me hung"
| The Judge told the stranger to make him
self comfortable over at the hotel, until he
could send some men down the road and inves
| tigate the matter. and if they found the body
| he would call jury and try the stranger as
he d.sired The dead man being found,
the Judge summoned jury, and sent word to
| the stranger at the hotel that if he would
step over to tie store, they would give him a
| trial.
The stranger appeared Immediately, shook
hands with the Judge and jury, invited the
court to take a drink, ard appeared grateful
and satisfied with the proceedings -
The trial proceeded socially. and the ten
derhearted jury brought in verdict of gull
ty of mapslauehter in the first degree. A
look of anxiety, which the stranger had worn
UP to this time, faded from his face as he
stood up to receive his sentence. "You have
been found guilty." said the Judge, "of the
crime of mansIaughterr for which you arc un
doubtedly penitent." Here the stranger again
began TO get anxious and uneasy.
"And it, proceeded the judge, sit meets
with your appreciation, we will try and hang
yoa rext Sunday morning at II O'Clock
NJ. In the meantime try and make yourself
as comfortable at the hotel asssposslble."
The stranger looked little Sad, and the
Judge asked him if he wasn't satisfied Ii
| there vas anything he could do for him?
Judge, hate to be particular and fussy,'
said the stranger, shut having the ager and
| fever, the chlls come on at 10 o'clock in the
mornin' and you could have me swing off
before that should feel obliged"
''Of course, said the Judge, 1--WE always re-
spect partys feelings. No trouble at ali.
Come around at 8 o'clock and may be we'll
get through before church time" t
Sunday morning at 9 o'clock the stranger
came out Of the hotel aud proceeded 90 the
grocery. There he met deputation Of citi-
zeus, ohe Of whom threw lari4t over she
limb Of tree, and, as soon "a the stranger
had taken a chew of tobacco and shaken
hands all around, they hauled him up.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20

RAILROAD CONTRACTS AWARDED The
following contracts Tor grading and masonry
on the Chesapeake aud Ohio Railroad have
bet n awarded under the bids recently made
Burnham Il Gordon, sections 26 and q; X.
per Il Young. 5S; BraxtoE & Mason 20; B
H. 4 B G. Warthen, 80; John Kelley. 80
and 80; p. Kelley, Al. A. 81, 60, and 20
W j. Price, 45, 46, ard ~; Brennan &
Haggerty 81 and SIS; T. K Menefee, 63. 81
aud Sc; D Shanahan & Co., rs and n; p
J. Scanl"n, IS; I. K. Mccain Il Co., SO
81, 50. and SO; Howley & Clarke. 100, 101
and 1902 Coleman & Cauthorn, 104 Robt
Finan, 105. 1903, and Ill; Fitzpatrick &
Barney, 1G6: H L. GalIaher l. Co, 109, 10,
113. lis. and III; L. d. Vaughan. 112; 4
J. Power Il son, ia aud 116; z. willard
Co.. 118; Hoblitzell, Hitchins 4 Piatt. l q
100, and 121; J. H. Hill, 122 and II
W. L. Hobitzell & Co., 1874, 1876, 1876. and
228; McMahon. Greene & Co, the masonry
Of Laure! Greek arch on 1928 There ere
several other sections yet to be allotted, which
will be determined in few days. The light
sections are reserved until September. The
bids for the iron bridge over New River, and
for the Huntington shops, are still under COT.
sideration.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20

Samuel McFaddcn was Waterman in a
bank He was poor, but honest, and his
life was without reproach The trouble with
him was that he felt that he wasn't apprecia-
ted. His salary was Only 81 week and
when he asked TO have it raised, tbs presi-
dent, the cashier, and the board of directors
glared at him through their spectaclos aud
fTowDad Ga him, and told him TO get cut and
stop his psolence wheu he knew his bust
ness was dull, and the bank could net pay
ito expenses now, let alone lavish one dollar "a
week on such miserable worm as Samuel
Mcradden And then McFadden felt de-
pressed and sad, and the naughty scorn OF
the president and cashier cut HIM to the soul
He would often go into the side yard and
bow his venerable twenty four inch head and
weep gallons Of tears )ver his insigni6cance
and pray that he might be made worthy of the
cashiers and presidents polite attention.
One night happy thought struck him; a
CLEAN of light burst upon his soul, and gaz-
ing down the dim vista OF years his eyes
blinded with tears he saw himself rich, hon
ored, and respected So Samuel NcFadden
fooled around and got a jimmy, monkey
wrench, cross-eut saw cold chsel, drill
ana about half !. ton of gun-powder and
nltro-sly cerine, and all those things. Then
in the dead of nigh, he went to the fire
proof safe, and after working at it awhile,
burst the door and brick into an immortal
smash with such perfect success that there
was not enough Of the safe left to make a
carpet tack Mr. ,lcFadden then proceeded
to load up with coupons, greenbacks. currency,
aud specie. aud to nail all the odd change
that was lying anywhere, SO that he pranced
out Of the bank with over one million dollars
IN him. lie then retired to an unassumed
residence out Of town, aud sent word to the
detectives whore he was
a detective called ON him next day with a
soothing note from the cashier McFadden
treated it with lofty scorn. Detectives called
Oh him every day with humble notes from
the president cashier, and board of directors.
At last the bank officers got up magnificent
supper, to which McFadden was invited
He came. and. as the bank officers bowed
down in the dust before him, he POWDERED over
the bitter past, and his soul was filled with
wild exultation,
Before he drove away in his carriage that
night it was all fxed that McFadden was to
keep half million of that money and to be
unmoIested if he returned the other half
He fulfilled his contract like aa honest man,
but refused with naughty d;sdaia the offer of
the cashier to marry his daughter.
Mac is now honored and respected. He
moves in the best society, he browses around
in purple and fine linen and other good clothes,
and enjoys himself Grst-ratc. And often
now he takes his infant son on his knee and
tells him of his early life, and iustills holy
principles into the child's mind, and shows
him how by industry and perseverance, fru-
gaity and nitro-glycerine, monkey-wrenches,
cross-cut saws, aud familiarity with the de-
tective system even the poor may rise to at
fuence and responsibility -lNarh 2,oain
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
Josh Billings Thistiing.

have spent great deal of sarching, and
sum of money, tew find out who waz the fus'
whistler, but up to now ana just as much
uncivilized on the sabjekt az waz.
kan tell who played gu the fust juice
harp, and who beat the fust tin pan, and
kno the year that the harp Nv thousand
strings vas discovered 10. but when whissline
was az infant il as hard for me tew say az Ii
prayers in 10 dutch. Bill
Whissling IL wind instrument and il did
| By pucking up the mouth, and blowing
| through the hole.
IF ihsd boy who couldn't Whistle, dom
want to be understood that should feel Il
liberty tsw give the boy up for lost, but
would much rather he would know how tew
| whsssle fust rate than to kno how tew play 4
second rate game Nv cards.
I wouidn force boy of mine tcw wits;
sell agin his natral inclinashun. a
Wimmen. as kind, or in lump, are poor
WHISPERS I don't kno how found this
out, but i am glad Of it, it IL good deal like
growing in a hen.
Growing IL an uulady-like thing in hen
tew do
have often heard hens tri tew Gro, but
never knu one to do rselfjustiss-
A rooster kan kro we'll, and hen kan
kluck we'll, and i sa let each one OF them
stick tew their trade.
Klucking IL just az necessary in this world
as croing. especially if it IL we'll did.
But i want it veil understood that am
the last man on rekord vino would refuse a
woman a chance te,y wh,saell if she was GER
tain she had the right pueker for it.
| never knu good whistler bat what had
good constitution.
Whissling IL composed of pucker and wind,
and these two accomplishments denote vigor
Some people awus .whisscll WHARF there is
danger. This they do few keep the fraid out
ov them When waz boy i always kon-
sidered whissling the next best thing tew a
kandle to go down in the cellar with in the
ute time.
The best whistler have ever heard have
bin among the negroes q make this remark
with the highest respekt to the accomplish
ments OF the whites have heard a South
Caroliny darky whissel SO natral that a mock
| ing-birk would drop a worm ont oy his bill to
talk back.
| don't want any better evidence og the
general honesty thare IL IN Shisseii IMAM
the fact that thare amt nothing which dog
will answer quicker than the whissell oy his
master. and dogs are az good judges ov hon
esty az emmy kritter that lives.
1t IL hard work tew phool dog once, and
it IL next tew impossible tew phoo him the
second time.
I amt afraid tew trust emmy man for a
| small amout who IL a good whistler.
wouldn't want tew sell him a farm on
/ credit for i should expect to have teW take
| the farm back after while, and remove the
| mortgage myself
You can't wbisscll mortgage open from a
| farm.
A fust-rate whistler IL like middlng size
fiddler. good for nothing else, and the whis-
sling may keep man from getting lonesum
1t won't keep him from getting ragged.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
NO. 3.
MEMORY'S PATH.

Adown the path where memory strays
Hand rosy thoughts of long ago. sfi
And pure, white hopes, like clustering sprays.
Ger laden with their blooms Of snow.
And merry birds make music there,
Sweet melodies that never tire;
Joys brightly fill the summer air
Like butter flies with wings of fire.
Adown the pathway sunbeams play,
warming the tears that bead the grass,
Where gray robed thoughts like huns would pray
Where sorrows feet were wont to pass.
Yet sorrow meier kept pace with hope.
Whose fairy feet scarce pressed HE flowers,
That thickly fringed each lane and slope
In the souls glad and sunny hours.
And where the thoughts OF evening Irvine,
Lips wreathed in swiles. earth sees no more.
Faces, death touched, and made divine,
Beam brightly from that peaceful shore,
All. memory, who would part with thee.
Although, thy path holds many thorn,
And phantoms rise would not see
And dark clad sins again are born. "ii
Thou lay'st thy hand upon our head,
And 10, the white locks turn to gold
Our youthful paths again we tread,
mothers arms once more enfold.
And when we reach the better land .g s.
Then still shall tell of this our earth.
Of the dear home loves breeze has famed.
The dear old home that gave us BIRTH
Ana still upon our heavenly way
Thou'rt be beside us evermore;
The same, expect thy spirit lay
Nor sin, nor death shall gather Ger.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
THE Double CH1LD OF THE PRAIRIE

THE DOUBLE CHILD OF THE PRAIRIE =
The western newspapers are greatly excited
over the double baby which is now on exhi.
bition in Cincinnati. One editor says:
1.-The children (for children they are), are
rather pretty aud intelligent looking blue
eyes, fair hair and light complexion Then
bodies are joined together so that there APP
petrs to be but one body aud their heads lie
N exactly opposite directions
1.-The question has often been asked, "can
they ever walk ?" 1t be will an odd-lookinc
sight if they do, for their lower limbs are
placed at their side, and at right angles with
the line of their body. Besides, the RICH,
leg belongs to one and the left to the other
and heing governed by different minds,
should think they would fail to move in mar.
mony. While I was there one child fel
asleep; the other remaining awake, laughing
and growing
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
Death in the Pulpit---Singular and Affect.
ing Scene.


ing Scene.
The Rev. Benjamin Eaton, first and only
rector OF Trinity Episcopal church, Calves
ton, was stricken with death while standing
IN his pulpit last Sunday The Galveston
.Veacs thus describes the affecting scene,
He assembled the pulpit. Announcing his
text, "Ihere is yet roon," all trembling be-
meath the weight Of his last message he re-
terred to one after another of the friends of
his youth and the commandments of his church
had gone before, He painted Death enter
ing the church door, passing up the broad
aisle, laying his bony hand to the right and
to the left; breathing his cold, clammy
breath On the cheek of beauty. and waiting.
the silver hairs of age. Now touching the,
father. then the son; here tho mo her. there
the daughter, rs the spectre SO plain to his
entraueed vision advanced to the chapoel-
rail, and as he saw that his time had come
his words struggled for uttcrance He fall
tered His weakening limbs staggered A
gentleman who advanced to his assistance was
waved back. For ten minutes more he spoke.
his words ouly audible to those near him.
The excitement of the audience was fearful.
Three times he struggled to continue SAYING.
II am very sick, but mast say" Again he
staggered. He tell into the arms of Mr. G..
Il. Hughes, as he raised his hands to pro.
nounce the benediction. Like Moses, that
other servant of God, he was too weak to
hold up his hands, which was dope by Mr..
Hughes, as he said his last pulpit words, "To
God the Father" His tongue refused to
speak further; his hands dropped He was
carried to his rectory, where he died.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
NURNITURE. FURNITURE!!
IL AT
j. A. & Y. M. BICKLES'.
"A' NJ A~N'
MAIN cFpEET Sn,tTINTnN

MAIN STREET, STAUNTON, VA.
We propose TO reduce oui very large stock of
FURNITURE. by selling at the following prices
Walnut Chamber Suits, 10 pieces wood top,
$500.
Walnut Chamber Suits, 10 pieces, marble top,
at 800 to $500.
Grained Suits, 10 pieces. $55 to $50.
Parlor Suits. in Hair cloth. at $50 to $3.50.
Redsteads from 81. to $40.
Bureaus Washstands, Tables, and wood
seat chairs, always on hand at very reduced pri
ces.
Lounges at $40. 81. $12 $14 to $25.
Persons in want of Furniture would do we'll to
call on US before purchasing elsewhere.
UNDERTAKING attended to promptly.
We are the sole agents for Fisk's Metallic Co
ses and Caskets.
feb 2s "a &Y, N. BIcKLE,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
The St. Louis Bridge.

The Illinois and ST. Louis bridge-the
greatest work Of the kind in the word-the
most gigantic undertaking Of engineering in
modern times-is placed beyond the possibil-
ity of failure. and stands to-day recorded
triumph Yesterday afternoon the east abut-
ment pier-that at the Illinois shore rested
on its world enduring foundation selid rock.
AS it was pretty we'll known that the pier
would reach the rock sometime yesterday af-
terneon, all who could procured passes to
witness the final lowering IF the tower Of
hcwn stone The pier and surrounding boats,
platform, and available grounds. were crowd
ed with workmen and eager, speculative spec
tators, when at 4:l5 o'clock. Superintendent
McCoinas gave the word the valves Of the
air-chamber were opened, and the compress
ed air rushed with dea!ening uolsc from the
pes. In FIVE inmates the pier sunk sue
denly about an inch, and in the course OF ten
inutcs more, falling about the same distance
each time, touched the solid rock 109 feet
and s inches below the surface ofthe water
he spectators gazing in wrapt wonder and as
enlistment the while. awe struck in conten :
plating the vastncss and grandeur of the t, :
umph A cannon had been placed on cacl
of the four piers, and, when the announce
ment that the rock had been reached was
made, the guns doomed, flags were unfarled,
the steam whistles blew, and the air was fill
ed with de; fleming cheers. Each gun fred
nine rounds and the whistles blew for half an
hour, at the end Of which time amazement
had given place to scene of relief and quiet
satisfaction, which manifested itself in hand
shaking aud the exchange Of congratulations
To day arrangements will be made for fill
ing the calsson with concrete, and to morrow
the work will commence. In the course of a
month it will be finished, and the new features
in the progress of the Titanic enterprise will
have to be recorded-St Louis Times.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
march 16-tf

A CHANGE.-I will hereafter be found in my
n building diagonally across Court Lane from
the Courtbuildings, (staunton) in the second sto-
ry the entrance to which is at the east end of the
building, ascending flight of steps.
Grateful for the liberal support heretofore Civ
en- me in my profession, l. in like spirit, ask its
continuance.
The bankrupt act having been SO modified as to
give full relief from all Indebtedness without
first paying any portion thereof, will along with
other business, give special attention to this
Ihave all the blanks prescribed by the Judges
of the Supreme Court of the United States, in
bankruptcy
will too. give special attention TO the selling
of lands, having peculiar advantages i'll this re
spect: and on reasonabl commissions.
J. B. WATTS.
ATTORNEY at Lnw.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
Professional Cards.

M edical N0sice.-The partnership here.
WI tofore existing between Drs. Hanger 4
Fultz having expired by limitation, the under
signed will continue the practice of his profession
in the city and county.
OFFICE-in the rooms above the Office of DR.
Chapman, dentitt on east Main street
jan 26-tf J. H. FULTZ, NJ. D.
r HAVE on hand all the necessary Bankrupt
i Forms, and am prepared to make out the
necessary papers for any desiring to claim
the benefits of the Bankrupt Act.
] will ais, attend to making out and forward
ing the applications Of Soldiers of the war Of
1912, or their Widows for the Pension granted
by a late Act of Congress
ALEX. H. FULTZ,
march g. If Attorney at Law.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
COME, IN BEAUTIFUL DREAMS, LOVE.

BY GEORGE d. PRENTICE.
Come, in beautiful dreams, love,
Oh |! come to me oft, ssN
When the light wing Of sleep
On my bosom lies soft;
Oh! GENE when the sea,
In the moons gentle light,
Beats soft on the ear,
Like the pulse of the might
When the sky end the wave
Wear their loftiest blue,
When the dew's on the flower
And the stars on the dew.
Come, in beautiful dreams, love,
{. Oh! come, and we'll stray
Where the whole year is crowned
With the blossoms of May
Where each sound is as sweet
AS the coos of dove,
And the gales are as soft
AS the breathing Of love;
Where the beams kiss the wave,
And our warm lips may catch
The sweet lessons they teach.
Come, in beautiful dreams, love,
Oh! come, and we'll fly
Like two winged spirits
Of love, through the sky;
With hand clasped in hand,
On our dream wings we'll go
Where the starlight and moonlight
Ale blending their glow;
And on bright clouds we'Il linger,
Of purple and gold,
Till the angels Shall envy
The bliss they behold.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20

PENSIONS TO SOLDIERS OF 1912.-In the
House of Representatives, on Tuesday, Mr..
Harris, of Virginia, by unanimous consent
introduced bill to amend the act granting
pensions to the survivors of the war of 1912.
approved February 18th, 1871. by striking
out SO much as excludes from the benefits of
the law the surviving soldiers residing in the
South; which was read first and secora
time, and referred to the Committee ca Rev
dictionary Pensions and War Of 1872.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20
Harness and sada.es.-The under

| arneSS ana SaHNaeS.-Ihe under
IL signed. hi wing opened first class har-
ness shop, is prepared to manufacture harness
of every description as low as ii can be DONE
viii also keep on hand good assortment of Car
rage. Buggy and Riding Whips, Saddle Blakets
and Spurs. Curry Combs, Brushes. &C. and. in
fact everything usually kept in first classnshop
He will give special attention to repairing
immediately south of the Va. Hotel.
april TIT Jas H. CARTER,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1871-04-20

A traveller, we are told, being in a wild
country, where he could find no provisions
for himself or dog, cut off the dogs tail and
boiled it for his own supper, and gave the dog
the bone.