Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1871-11-16
HUMoRoUs pARAaRAPHs.

4
ing, is one Of the lost arts"
Josh Billings says that opera music
don't have any more effect on him
ahm castor oil would on craven i'm
age
PRo0F PoMTIvE-Good young la
dy-ssIfltle boy, have you ever been
babfizsd Small Reathen--s0h, yes
mum I've the marks here. on my
arm-''--Jad0.
"Women, wakeup!" exclaimed Liz
zie Stanton, in her Revolution and an 1
indolent rural editor adds: ''Y es, and |
d--n it, turn out and make fire, and I
put the ea-kettle on"
An Ohio young man had girl
whom he was courting, arrested for !
biting bis lips. The fool couldn't he
bite back We would be chawed into
hash before having a glrl arrested for
that!
A strong minded Californian en-
tered crowded car, a9d no one of
fering her a seat, she took one on the
laps of two gentlemen, and continued
there until her journeys end, to the
amusement of her beholders, if not OF
the "holders."
sYou can't do too much for your
employers, man. said somebody to a
big-fisted, strong backed, man. of all
work, on the wharf the other day.
"Arrah," replied Pat, with emphasis,
"neither will L"
The Bangor Wing says non-tall-
ative youth Of that city eats pound
of conversation lozengers just before
he goes to see his girl. He ought to
be able to say sweet things, with such
preparation.
A Chillicothe, Ohio, youth, who has
devoted much time and attention to
agricultural fairs. this season, has
reached the sage conclusion that the
staple product of Ohio is the succulent
vegetable known as the prize package.
A lady teacher in an Iowa school,
made boy stand up and show how
he kissed the big girls in the wood
shed, I'm hopes that he would shed tears
and promise to do SO no more. A4l
the boys are leaving the other schools
now and going to this lady teacher.
"AIar, why don'tyou speak ?" asked
little Jake. "Why dent you say suth-
in funny r. "What can l say? Don't
you see I'm busy frying doughnuts is ?
Say suthin funny, indeedr' oval,
yer might say, Jake, wep'ty yer hev a
cake p That 'ud be funnyfo yow :"
A young lady with a very pretty
foot, but rather large ankle, went
into d San Francisco slice store to be
measured. The admiring clerk, who
is Of Gallo extraetioH, complimented
her in the following queer way Mad
m, you have one beautiful foot, but
he legs commence too Immediately"
A firm of painters on Madison St,
bulletin their removal as follows, on. a
sign board erected like a guide board,
upon the ruins of their old establish
ment Moore q Goe, EIeuse and
na county. according to the
RaQo ignes rail,aE - ,ess
cbfrn Infants The latest arr3ysl
keSs c baa at eighteen pounds,
end hea IL I'D sfes4 fol the 9slregoric
daring the lone watches of the night,
he can Sc heard with great distinct
ness at distance. Of ten miles
Here is the way sssisy do in Mexico:
Two gentlemen OF the highest rank in
society meet in the evening in the
street "What o'clock is It, SeRor p
politely asks the first. Theother stops,
draws out his reyoI yer and covers his
interIocuter, then draws out his watch
aoa gives the desired Information
Number one thanks number two With
ont the least surprise at the Precau.
tion.
One of our yieinisY deacons nearly
captured five boys who had been de-
vastating his chestnut trees, Sunday
afternoon. Shaking his fist after their
retteating FORMS, he angrily shouted
The sneaking little devils If had
hold Of 'em one minute, I'd" and
then, suddenly espying his pastor on
the scene, be impres ssively added, 81 {
pray for 'en ~ Daa6ury Netos.
A certain Scottish country minister
removed from one parish to another
ard one Sunday sexis hanged with bis
successor in his former charge A
the close Of his service an elderly
lady inquired what had become of hel
stain minister" "Oh, y ere exchang
ing, he replied s; he's with my. peopl,
to-day. Indeed, indeed said thc
matron, ssthey'H be gettin' treat the
day
An 1rishman being annoyed by q
howiing dog IN the night, jumped
out of bed to dislodge the offender
It was in the month of january, whel
flIe snow was three feet deep He ne
returning, his wife ran out to see wha
was the matter. There she found he
husband in his night suit, his teet
chattering, and bis whole body almos
paralyzed with cold, holding the strug
Cling dog by the tail. sHoly mothe5
Pat she said, "what wpd ye be afte
dOin - "Hush,' said lie, "don't y
see? I'm trying to fraze the d
baste'
How is this for a scene in a church
The place is sacred edifce in Batl
lhue. The pew is crowded. The. Sc
is. long. A respectable citizc
Se to sleep. In close proxim
q lady. The preacht ~
tae closing <praye
astonisheQ
in tones
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