The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-05-07
Merntng Star and Catholic Messenger.
WIT AND WISDOM.
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MAY 7. lo7t.

ers-in-law is greasing the Kitchen stairs.
Can Moore's description of the peri i'm "Lal
Rookh" be called an experiment in poetrys
"Don't cry, little boy. Did he hit you OF
purpose !" No, sir; he hit me on the head.
man is often said to be in advance of hi
age" but the remark is never made of woman
A country editor editor says sugar has gon
up 80 high as to produce slight increase il
the price of sand.
The result of going ont on a clark yer,
generally is that the last part of the lark yor
see is the beak.
Archbishop whately, describing common
place preachers, said, In their sermons they
aim at nothing, and hit"
Fishes eyes have been found to make a fine
quality of gluten. This is what enables them
There is no rule without On exception. Fol
instance, in Poland the people take exception
to the rule of the Emperor Of the Russias
"What are you doing Z" said father to his
con, who was tinkering an old watch. I'm.
want some candyf" Eyes, dear, should like
you. half" said Polly.
Putting and blowing are often considered as
ence, however, if instead Of putting q man up
you should blow him up.
We've heard of q secret which was SO big
that it required all the women in the town to
the help of their husbands.
A suburban resident of Boston tells of a man
with concrete heart, who promised to make
little miss nice Christmas present, and gave
her-two copies OF Ayers almanac
"Ah is it possible that you are still alvef"
said a fellow on meeting ono whom he had
grossly injured. Yes, and kicking" replied
the other, suitng the action to the word.
An old lady deserving sign over a tailoring
establishments bearing the inscription, Foun-
tain of Fashion," exclaimed, "Ah that must
be the place where the squirts come from"
elbow seldom it happens" remarked one
friend to another, "that we find editors bred TO
the business Quite as seldom" replied the
other, that we fluid the business bread to the
edters."
Germ frequently and regularly is u steady GUS
toner, unless the concern patronized is Il
public-house, in which case he becomes an I'M
steady customer instead.
take me great coat here to Boston wild YET"
get it again y "oh, that's mighty easy, 50 i.
is, for sure I'll remain inside of it,"
A grim, hard hearted old judge, after hearing
fowery discourse from a pretentious young
lawyer. advised him to pluck out some of the |
feathers from the wings of his imagination, |
and put them into the tail of his Judgment.
"Well, Sambo, what's yer up to, now-a-
daysT so, is carpenter and jner" "He
guess yer is. What department. do you per-
for arn., hat Why does
turns de grindstone."
A youngster, while perusing q chapter in
Genesis, turned to his mother and inquired if
the people in those days used to do sums on
the ground. 1t was discovered that he had
men multiplied upon the face of the earth"
Water is, in many points of view, a singular
reflection of periodical literature. For in
stance, it comes out in sheets, and when q suf-
volumes but how many sheets of water it
takes to make a volume, it is difficult to say.
The proprietor Of q hotel was bustliug about
one morning, with twenty things to do when
some one asked him why he did not call up his
waiter. II shan't call him as lsng as 1 can
help it," replied he, "for when he is bed l
know where he is, but when he's up don't !
know wheie to find him."
g, Tom, where's that counterfeit ten.dollar ,
bill you had while agof' "WeI1, never
was quite clear in my mind about dat ar bill. ! .
Some days thought it bad bill, and
9TH days l thought it was good bill; and
bill passed it away" /
An eccentric wealthy gentleman stuck up q q
board in field on his estate, upon which was d
painted the following: 1 will give this field
'ontented MANI Eyes, sir, very" "Then, q
what do you want with my fieldf" The appli, ~
ant did not stop to reply.
n late Judge, whose personal appearance was
IS unprepossessing as his legal knowledge was
'roiound and his intellect was keen, said to
emale witness: " Humbugged you, my good
'oman! What do you mean by that =" said 81
e, sternly. Well, your honor" replied the j.,
'oman, 81 don't know how to explain exactly: i"
ut if u girl called your honor a handsome b.
ian, now she would be humbugging you" te
An inveterate tobacco chewer was in the IL
abit of declaring about once month that he
onid never chew another piece, but broke his W
ledge often as he made it. On one OCCASION
iortly after he had " broken off for good,n he
as seen taking another chew. "Why," said "
is friend, lyon told me you had given up that IL,
!, ,6lt: but see you are at it again" "Yes," tr
lying" na
a Mississippi editor who married a widow,
,plans as follows how he got mixed up in his r..
IL married q widow who had n se
own daughter, My father visited our nc
'use very often, fell in love with nv stem
nghter and married her. So my father be-
me me my son-in-law and my step-daughter nv in
otner because she was my fathers wife. W.
m me time afterwards my wife had a son he m,
Is my fathers brother-in-law, and nv uncle fo,
:, ne was the brother of my step-mother NV th
lners wife-that is, my step-daug 'n