South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-05-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
IoLp CoMFoRr.-Eatine ice.

AN INFALLIBLE PREsCRIPTIoN.-To riC
a house of fieas, kill them
WHY are some women like facts? Be
cause they are stubborn things.
No notes are deducted from the policie.
at maturity in the Washington
THE New York Fire Department EN-
ploys As engines, 165 horses and 720 men
THE dividends of the Mutual Life, o.
Chicago, are paid annually, in cash or in
surance.
A PHYSICIAN claims that 10000 women
have been squeezed to death by corsets
during the last five years.
WHAT is the difference between an hon
est and a dishonest laundress? One iron.
your linen, the other steals it.
DIR. Bush said the reason why Germans
die so seldom of consumption is the fact oi
their singing from the earliest childhood
WOMEN should be employed to draw up
a mans last testament, because it is no use
ever attempting to dispute their will.
YOUNG SwELL-"I say, boy, what dc
you do with your clothes when you've
worn them out?" Boy-"W Wears 'em 'ome
aginI" .. a..
WHAT are you doingg" said father to
a son, who was tinkering an old watch
Improving my time" was the witty re.
joinder. r..
SOME Cinnamon at the Berlin diggings,
in Australia, have lately struck nugget
of gold weighing 1,717 ounces, and worth
S34,ssO.
A NEW HAMPSHIRE lady, Mary
Brockway, recently celebrated her 104th
birthday in East Washington, by splitting
and carrying into the house half cord
of wood
A DANDY in New York is in a fix.
His pants were made so tight for him that
he can't get his boots on, and if he puts his
boots on first, he can't get his pants on.
| This is case of genuine distress.
A GIRL ten years old has been arrested
in London, Eng, for stealing babies. She
made practice, after getting the children,
of stripping and abandoning them, selling
their clothes " to go to the theater with.
II AM sitting on the style, Mary" as
the husband said when he sat on his wife's
new bonnet. For thirty years this ap-
peared regularly among the "Wit and
Humor" of the weekly press, and it would
have appeared for thirty more if the mil
liners hadn't got to making the wife's bon
net too small for the husband to sit on.
"IT is not often," says the Nashville
Tenn, Union, "that we see city Mayors in
States Prison; but we saw a convict, Oh
| Thursday, at work at the Capitol as a car
penter, who is said to have been formerly
Mayor of Cleveland. He sent many
prisoners to the Penitentiary, but finally
got there himself He was working very
faithfully, yesterday, in making some i'm
provements to the Comptrollers State
apartments"
RECENTLY, George NJ. Ellis died in
Chester County, Pa, in his 92d year. He
is reported to have had the consumption
nearly all his life, his physician having as
sured him, before he was twenty, that hC
could not survive the next TWO years
Ellis was so pale and thin for forty year:
previous to his decease that he was known
as the walking skeleton; and yet he is be
lieve to have been, with two exceptions
the Oldest man in the county.
A GOOD story is told of late college
president near Boston. On one occasion
the students substituted large dictionary
instead of the Bible, at the morning devo-
tions. On opening the book he at once
saw the situation; but he said nothing and
proceeded to the prayer, which he pro
ionged for an hour. The students got out
of all patience; but they appreciated the
| sly remark of the venerable President on
| his retiring, that he found all the word:
he needed in the volume they had placed
on his desk"
! A MONUMENT is being made in Phila
delphia to the memory of the late Hon
Edwin NJ. Stanton, by order of his execu
tors. 1t is to be placed over his grave
The monument will be about eighteen feel
high, and comparatively plain. The base
will be five feet square, and will have a
sub base, on which will rest the die, with
this inscription in raised letters:
EDWIN NJ. STANTON,
''Born December 10, 1914,
! "Died December n, 1862"
On the top of the die there will be q
gothic cap, receiving plain and massive
square. The whole affair will be extreme
/ ly plain, no ornamentation being attached
to it. --
A Miss CRIPPEN, one year old, recently
celebrated her first birthday at her resi-
dence in Concord, N. II. A local paper
says: "At about three o'clock the car
riages began to arrive, and by 8: As there
were assembled some thirty ladies and
gentlemen, aged from II weeks to years
embracing the elts of our city. At
O'Clock, refreshments were served at two
| long tables, around which twenty-foul
{ high-chairs' had been placed, and the
usual viands were most lavishly served
Prominent on the bill of fare were ginger.
bread, elephants and roosters, biscuits, one
inch in diameter, and choice cakes OF sim
liar dimensions"
A FOND father, blest with eleven chill
dren, and withal a domestic man, tells
this story: One afternoon, business being
very dull, he took the early train out tC
his happy home, and went up stairs to put
| the children to bed. Being missed from
the smoking-room, his wife went up stairs
to see what was going on. Upon opening
the door she exclaimed, why, dear
what for mercy's sake are you doing =
"Why," says he, 81 am putting the chill
dren to bed, and having them say theil
little prayers" "Yes," says wifey, "bu
this is one of our neighbor's children al
undressed," and he had to redress 1t anC
send it home. After that he called the
roll every morning and night.
]. N. BEARD, residing two miles NORTH
of Germantown, Ind, had an oak tret
standing on his farm, some three hundred
Yards from his residence. twenty-five
wears ago he offered it to various men
and since that time, again and again, i
they would take it away and clear the
spot; but, on account of its great size anC
rough appearance, no one would accep
the offer. Finally, Cornelius Boyer, from
Pennville, undertook the job. 1t tool
him four hours to cut it down. The tret
measured eight feet and nine inches il
diameter across the stump, and produced
four hundred fencing posts, at fifty cent
apiece, making 800; fourteen and a hal
cords of wood, at So per cord, making
$43 so, and six two-horse loads of chips
at $3.50 per load, making $15, the tota
amount being $25S.5O.
A CORRESPONDENT from Brazil of tn
Boston AdUeTtiser writes: "The negr
totes everything on his head, from
small paper parcel TO grand piano, ant
on this head lady spending the he
months in Tijuca ordered her piano sen
out from the city, a distance of abou
twenty miles, supposing it would be ser
by steam But on the day appointed eigh
negroes made their appearance at White
Hotel in Tijuca, with the said plan
riding aloft on their woolly heads-havin
brought it the entire distance, includin
the mountain road of three miles heav
up grade without once stopping fc
rest on the way. Before setting it dow