Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1871-12-02
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE
AND VIRGINIA SER
For the COuntry,)
Published Regularly on TUESDA VS. THURS
DAYS u7sd SATURDA rs, at Sir Dollars Pc"
dH~t7k1t.
SHORT PARAGRAPHS.

four hundred feet in height, which shall be sur
mounted by phoenix. The tower to be built
from foundation stone to turret with blocks of
stone or brick taken from the prominent build
ugs destroyed BY the fire. On each of these
blocks the name Of the buildings from the ruins
of which it was taken is to be consplcuously
engraved That all these names may be seen
by the curious Of future years, the top Of the
tower is to be reached by an exterior winding
stairway so constructed after the type Of the
Archmedean screw, as to make 1t appear part
of the proposed tower. He says his plan has
received favorable consideration Of many OF the
members of the council and prominent citizens.
The financial part of the enterprise is not MIA
tured.
Could there be any more forcible and unan
Swerable illustration of the maxim that what
is one 5 loss is another gain than is given by
the late Arctic calamity? The hardy mariners
had conquered even cold to earn an honest and
independent livelihood. All was swept away.
But on the other hand some Of the Greenland
feet were arriving in port just after the Arctic
calamity with cargoes of oil, which had already
advanced forty cts per gallon. They were un-
willingly reaping the rich benefits of other sail
ors mlshaps.
\ dead whale sixty feet in length, was
washed ashore at high tide on Saturday morn
ing in Boston. As the marine monster is near
Taft's Hotel, so celebrated for its fish dinners,
doubtless the popular proprietor will consider
it his duty to give whale dinner, as he has
served up nearly every other kind of fish in the
course Of his experience.
Our Cincinnati exchanges tell the story Of a
very stout old lady who rides good deal In
the street of that city, and for whom, no
matter how crowded they may be, the passeD-
gers always find seat Now it is not every
old lady for whom a comfortably seated pas
>engcr will discommode himself, but this old
laIy's persuasveness never falls. Her method
is to hustle in and prepare to sit down on the
passengers laps. The hint is enough.
\ contemporary says Of the decease ola ven.
the landmarks Of the community We are
disposed to thiuk, on the contrary: that 1t will
cause new one to be set up.
a lady in Bryan, Williams county, Ohio,
has commenced suit against nine saloon keep
ers and two owners OF buildings in which sa
looms are kept for selling Intoxicating liquors TO
her husband during his life time. The aggre-
gate amount Of damages claimed is 100000.
\ man in Kansas was present at the funeral
of Il ncighbor of whom no good could he homes
" said But everybody was saying something
and this man, not wishing to appear singular,
but being incapable of lying euIogy, remarked
that it was IA nice. quiet corpse.
A Sacramento assessor took advantage Of a
run on savings bank to observe those who
withdrew deposits, and caught several Juggling
away few thousands apiece who had sworn
two days before that they did not own cent.
Scene, Freshmen recitation Professor:
What instrument would you use in the con-
struction of this geometrlcal figure p Fresh
man latter looking thoughttuy at the foor,
NJ r,oll- cir
\ man who was caught in Nevada Guch by
u sudden fall Of earth some two weeks since lay
there five and half days without food, and
taken out alive, and his recovery is thought
probable.
Cadiz, in Harrison county, Ohio, is in up
roar of indignation because the Town Council
voted to procure steam fire engine and other
fixtures for complete fire department. The
majority of the citizens don't approve the ac-
ton.
Chicago enterprise is manifested in every dl
rection to repair the results OF the late dlSas-
ter Nearly five hundred babies have been
born there since the fire, aud with a view to
maintaining the local institution Of divorce
three tourths Of the new arrivals are girls.
The clergymen throughout the country have,
according to official figures christened 9l7 new
born Aexises during the past few months.
Irving to do business without advertising is
like winEing at pretty girl through a pair of
green goggles You may know what you are
doing, but nobody else does
\ Young gentleman who had just married a
little beauty says: She would have been tall
lcr but she is made of such precious materials
that Nature couldn't afford it.
Avoid argument with ladies. In spinning
warns among silks and satins, mau will always
be worsted and twisted and finally wound up.
An enthusiastic editor speaking of new
prlma donna, says Her voice Is as soft as a
roll of velvet, and as tender as a pair of sIop-
shop pantaloons.
\ fashionable mammals advice to married
daughter 'Never take your husband to an
evening party; there is nothing that Is SO much
in the way.
\ man who sleptin 4 pew in a Chicago church
the night after the fire declared that he had
hitherto slept in 4 pew under more agreeable
circum stances.
Ia Ohio the schoolmasters advertise that they
will keep Sunday School twice 3 week, on Tues
days and Thursdays.
The Viceroy of Egypt has hired the French
General Faidherbe to run his army.
An English lady has been granted G26 dam
ages lust for one stolen kiss.
The woman sufragans are Jealous Of Fabers
talking machine.
Padded nsteps are announced as fashion
able in Boston.
Motto for grocers-Honest tea is the best
policy.
How to make slow horse faSt-Don't feed
him.
Quack-A doctor whose science lies IN his
bill.
Prudes arc coquetteS gone to seed.
The tune of the smoker-Spt-tune
A pair Of tights-Two drunkards.
Ocular punishment-Eye- -ashes.
4 leading article-A locomotive.