The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-10-24

The day that | was born was memoir
able epoch in the annals of Terryvllc.
On that occasion there was town elec-
ton that ended in bloody fight between
the adheronts of the rival candidates and
conhagration that destroyed nearly one
third of the best buildings in the place.
My two brothers, Fred and Dick (whom
[ hadn't the advantage of knowing Mt
that time), were pretty good sized boys,
and they determined to observe my natal
day with appropriate honors. They,
therefore, expended their spare change
in purchasing couple of pounds of gun
powder with which they purposed load
ing small cannon in their possession.
Fred took the paper containing the am
unition into the kitchen and laid it on
the table, while Dick and himself went to
hunt up the cannon. In their absence
Dorcas Miller, the maid-ofa all-work, COM
ing in and wishing to use the table, took
up the package of gunpowder, and being
ignorant of its contents, tossed it upon
the hearth, within few inches of hot
wood-fre. The consequences that ensued
short time the paper ignited from a
spark and the house seemed shaken to
its very foundations. There was mighty
little of the kitchen left, they say; and
very small portion of Miss Miller that was
good for anything afterwards. She lost
an eye, all her front teeth, two fingers,
was lamed for life in one leg, besides be-
ing so fearfully burned that she was re-
pulsive to look upon the rest of her days
Such, reader, were some of the local
events upon the day on which | saluted
my mother with my first squall
My parents were pious members Of
meeting and were woefully troubled lest
these signs might prognostigate some
thing in relation to their youngest born.
| was robust child and precocious for
my years. At eleven months old could
walk and when l was in my third year |
was able to swear as well as hoy of five.
| don't mention it as in any manner cred
table to me, far from it. | have always
regretted the fact, for am sensible how
consumate a little rascal / must have
been, and how large quantity of "orig-
inal sin" must have been infused into my
being,
My father, as in duty bound thrashed
me, and my mother (good woman) gener-
ally began where my father left off. But
the rod did not realize my parents expec-
tatons, and they must have lost faith
in King Solomon on this particular point.
The more they fogged me, the tougher
became my hide, and my perverseness in
creased in proportion as my body became
accustomed to blows Some worthy
friend had told my father that no child
should be sent to school before the age of
ten, as any attempt to discipline the mind
Of one of more tender years, might result
in the boy turning out to be a fool. AS
our family had usually been considered
sharp, my father had mortal fear of his
children being ounces, SO my education
did not begin until | had entered my
tenth year. srdags. pr. .ylov.d .
had not been in school week before
L was engaged in half-dozen fights with
my school-fellows Being brought before
Mr.. McPhail, the teacher, to account for
my misconduct ! commenced to excuse
myself on the ground that was the party
assailed, and was consequently compelled
to defend myself Here one of the lar
ger pupils stepped forward and boldly
contradicted my assertion, st:gmatizing
me as little bully. His language so in
censed me, that forgetting the august
presence of the master, | thrashed him
ON the spot. Such temerity threw the
school in the greatest possible consterna-
tion, and set MIR. McPhairs discipline at
naught. was therefore, Immediately
dismissed as dangerous character, and
sent home with note to my father
from the master who declined keeping me
any longer in his school.
My father was 10 great perplexity
where to send me that | might acquire
an education.
"Jane," said he, addressing my moth
er, 81 don't know where that boy Chris.
gets his pugnacious disposition. All my
family are amible, and his brothers are
as gentle as lambs"
81 can't tell myself" answered my
mother, of mine unless he inherits il
from brother of mine who was wild
fellow in his youth. He went to sea as
a sailor, and finally joined some Of the
Fiji tribes who are forever fighting
among themselves; if poor Joab still is
living he must be chief by this time
for he was uncommonly ambitious in his
way"
= I'm glad it don't come from my side
of the house, responded nv father, g we