Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-06-01
OrR .iPPEIiZER.

--Net.proceedS--Fish.
"A Military Air--A pla toou.
"A lird Of i'll orncn--A swallow
of brandy,
The end of candle To give
Hight.
One key 10 Irish grievances
Whi> key.
A moose pnper--A marriage GER.
tifoate.
Whatever is. is right--cxcept
your left hand and foot.
How was the ark propelledg
by a Noah, Of course.
-" Chickens are not always plenty
in foul weather.
III you are out IN y driving storm
don't attempt 10 hold the rains.
-" The fog m+y be missed and
yet surround us.
-" In the co,9%e Of the week YOU
often find a fMe day.
"A girl may AS we'll hang up her
eddie when she loses her beau.
"rhe color OF the wind was dis.
covered by the man who went out
and found it blue,
~---" Yrn must not esrcci Won ore
golhgto sea'o f'of, b,cause the waves
are r'najag high.
---" Ion cannot see any heitnr with
"a light breeze, nor tell the weight OF
the wind on q balance sheet.
-" When YOU are in the melting
mood, II may be because the heat is
intense.
----" fon will be am 10 find the har.
rest as you approach the close of the
year,
Why should p. T Barnum have
4. u, after his name? Because e
bee is a ham hr1.
We are indebted to Friar Bacon
for eunpowdcr, and Ply Iron for eau
nou balls.
--l.ich men should rccolect, ia
making their wills, that il is dufbcrous
to cut oil the natural heir.
Why is lead pencil like poor
hnnau nature ? Because it never
docs the right Of Itself.
Wv hen plckpockct pulls al your
watch, tell him plsinly that you have
no timo to spare.
"A man has got so deep into debt
that not one Of his creditors has been
able To zee him for months.
In what circumstances is Is
woman that wears stays? Slraiteu.
ed circumstances
If you would lay in supply of
old wine, be sure AMI make it oat of
cldrrberrtcs.
What di"rrcuce it makes
whether you put Dr.. before or after
mans name.
A war spcek in Europe always
cyctes alarm, but they think nothing
Of great war jMths in China.
Why is the camel the most
rasciblc anumal IN the world ? Be-
cause he always has his back up.
An advertiser 10 ore Of the pa
por> says he has cottage to let. CON
tanning eight trooms and On acre T
kytd.
49," Al, parson, I wi-l, | could tako
my gold with me- said dyi,Fg aea-
con 10 pastor. ltm,ght melt vas
the consoling reply.
--Teacher. "Tommy, what docs
Il d IT. srpI|?'
Apt Pupil. "Duuno, slr"
Tcachcf, "Why, you rnmsku'l,
v hat have yoh got in your head ~
Ant Pupil u dunno, sir, brt :
think 1t bees flea -
The bead of Vermont railroad
shop was applied to Tor permission to
work on fast dly by couple OF men
who were noted for their laziness.
Permission was gwen, "fpr," said the
elIief, "you can't either Of vou work
hard nnonab to break tho day"
~-IIetook ter fancy whst he came,
he took her hand he took kiss he
took 30 nat,ce OF the shame that
aInwed her happy check At this. Ite
tUuk 10 cyinin. afternoons; he took
An oath iia'i ne'cr deceive; lye to,,k
her fathers silver spoons and after
.hat be- took bis leave.
"A bald maH. merry At the cy.
peuse Df auUhcr who covered hls
porial bd,flHrw with viz, aided.
~ a ciuebrr; You gee bow bald T
Ant and don't wear VIZ" "Trnc,'
was the rrtn,, 8 but an empty barn
requires 30 thatcb."
-" Atom" Of the Havard hrlro.
cate. vI-li..d the French fair, md thus
reports his experience.
Young LADY, Sir, wotd''n't Won
Ike 10 buy some tickets on punch
bowl +?
Atom No, thank you I never
drink.
Yenng Lady Gnsinuating) Well
~ - ,.ff