Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-06-23
The Man About Town.
From the chronological journal.

This ubiquitous parsonage may b.
found in every town Of three thou
sand inhabitants. In larger places
his number is increased in an equa
ratio. Such men are not all Of ont
temperament, or one style of menta
development, but seem to be slack
twisted pieces of all temperaments
and mental constitutions combined
Their general characteristics, how
ever, run in the same groove. They
are pleased with the same things
adopt similar habits, and when one
OF them is well known, the genera
traits of any other one may be an
ticipated to a certainty.
The physiology of "the man about
town" is indicated by an easy, good
natured bearing, with a Slightly for
id complexion, plump features, oily
eyes, which have a facility for Civ
ing salacious glances and knowing
winks, and also for going to sleep
at any time. The mouth is rather
large, and smiles easily; the lips are
plump, and generally soiled with to.
bacco, stale jokes and vulgar stories
His brow is prominent, his forehead
low and retreating, indicating more
observation than reflection; IA great
er tendency to live in the present
than in the past or the future, and
has more to do with the daily facts
than sound philosophy. He lives
wholly on the surface, and is super
fetal in all his plans and purposes.
The man about town has large
language, indicated by full, prom
inent eye, and swollen, sack like
appearance under it. He generally
does much more than his share OF
the talking; will tell tales and com
ic stories well, and can make one on
occasion, averring it's truth on his
''honor." He has the latest news,
he hears all the gossip, and it comes
to his morbid appetite with equal
zest from the parlor, the kitchen,
the bar-room or the stable. He
knows everybody, at least by sight;
manages to be in the front row OF
spectators at all prominent arrivals,
receptions and departures. He is
at the depot at each arrival and de-
parture of trains, and generally
rides up from the depot on the seat
with the hack-driver. At the hotel
he notes the guests, and after they
have entered their names he looks
over the register. If important
names appear, he lounges around
until he obtains good view of the
persons or gets chance convcrsa-
ton, which is ever after spoken or
as "an acquaintance" He is social
and likes to make friends; is gen
ius at shaking hands, has something
to say to men of note, who good ma
turedly listen to his complimentary
and voluble conversation. He has
the first and last word with them,
and they generally remember a pre-
engagement, and hurry away as
soon as may be; but the man about
town has talked with them, and he
will ever talk about them; will speak
of them as his friend General So
and-so, or Governor this or Judge
that. He thus affects familiarity of
acquaintance with important per-
sons, who would remember him, if
at all, chiefly for his shabby genteel
looks, his unwelcome, obtrusive IA
mlliarity, and his odorous breath.
He generally keeps posted as to
engagements, weddings, ,elopements,
divorces, and dinner parties; attends
horse-races, baseball, and billiard
matches, target excursions, clam
bakes, prize tights-not to fight nor
to bet, but to be there to see, and
hear, and eat, and drink, and have
SON citing rich to talk about, and
make loungers stare. He has great
fondness for dinners, dominoes, and
dogs, and would be a sportsman if
he were not too lazy. lie is strong
ly social, feels friendly, and when
he has money he "treats," and when
hard up because he cannot borrow,
he sails into the convivial circle on
his friendly familiarity with those
who have money, and praises the
liquor, and flatters those who pay
for it. He has great fondness for
all the gossip, good and bad, knows
little of everything, and not very
much Of anything. He is willing to
be useful, but is too lazy to be very
helpful. Having large alimentivc-
ness, he does not object to assist at
good dinners, nor to test wine and
cigars; and if there is to be "chow-
der" or wine-supper, he will man.
age to ''dcad-head'' himself into it.
He has not much acquisitiveness,
hence he is not inclined to work
hard for money. He engages in no
regular business, because he likes
his liberty, and considers it degra-
ding to him to do hard work. When
a boy, if put to a useful trade, he
did not stay his time out, but pre-
fcrrcd to set up ten--pins, or assist
about a bar-room, for his board and
spending money; and on reaching
mans estate, or rather stature, he
has nothing but cheek and tongue,
and good-natured acquaintance, and
perhaps an occasional political sop,
to depend on for a living. If he has
had any reputable relatives, he
thrusts the threadbare story upon
everybody, and seeks thereby to bor-
row consequence from their respect
ability. He does not seek to imi-
tate their virtue or their honorable
thrift, nor seem to feel condemned
by contrast of their worth with
his own worthlessness.
He has not combativeness enough
to make him spirited, earnest, encr-
getic, industrious, or courageous.
He may talk much and loud of brave
ry and manly deeds, but he is inter
nally a poltroon. His selfcsteem is
too small to give him much dignity
or strength of character. He has
large enough approbativeness to
make him vain, and lead him to
think other people like flattery as
well as he does. OF course he is a
lady's man, and is tolerated by wo-