Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-11-30
Are Legs a Mistake !

Are Legs Mistake!
My DEAR MIR. BONNER If you were to
lose leg, all your friends would make
haste to commisserate your condition, and
sympathise with you in misfortune. But
are the popular impressions in respect to
the value of the human leg founded in
scientific truth ? We perceive that many
parts of the human form once supposed to
be valuable, are now known to be either
valueless, or of far less use than is some
ingenious substitute
The teeth, for instance, may be all
taken out and new set put in their
place, warranted not to ache, and proof
against decay, far more easily cleansed,
and, generally, even more beautiful than
those which nature furnished. Once the
human hair was greatly esteemed, but, for
years, it has been superseded by artificial
creations. Last year we met a gentleman
who hourished with wax nose, which
answered many of the purposes of the
former protuberanee, and some purposes
in addition. 1t did not hurt his feelings
to have It tweaked; and he could bump
his nose with impunity against open doors
when fumbling about in the night. To be
sure, he could not take snuff with it, nor
use it for smelling. But is it not fair
question at any rate, for all that live in
cities, whether men do not encounter more
disagreeable odors than pleasing ones 2
so that the loss of smell will, on striking a
balance, prove decided gain
For the eye there have been invented
such admirable substitutes that no one
would suspect that the tender glances
were but the reflections of glass orbs. A
glass eye is not subject to Inflammation,
and is not disturbed by spects and cinders,
and is just as comfortable in smoky room
as in the clear air. The only defect that
we have ever heard mentioned is the sus-
pension of the functions of vision 1t
must be admitted that regular natural
eye sees better than glass one, but the
latter often looks better.
But to return to our leg About year
ago, country parson in England borrow
ed leg of an American gentleman, aud
found it so admirable that he grew dis
contented with anything manufactured in
England. But the gentleman, on going
away took his leg with him. Our parson
had neglected to inquire the source of the
exquisite bit of machinery. In his per-
plexity he wrote to me, describing the
dilemma, and asking advice as to the best
kinds of American legs. The other day
received the following jubilant letter,
which needs no explanation
OCTOBER Z 1871.
My DEAR SIR: I cannot refrain from writ
ing you a line of thanks for introducing me
to the - Limb Company.
DIR. - kindly made an abatement of ten
pounds in the price, seeing that am only q
poor parson, and he has sent me such lee
as never had before. It's perfect treat tC
| wear it, and really is enough to make one
wish to live a few years longer for the pleas
ure OF it. Ii were a few years younger,
| should try to cross the herring pond anC
show you how l can stump about.
With many thanks to you and Mr.. - fol
the comfort enjoy,
L am yours fait thfully, III. O.
How few there are whose leg of f1esl
and blood give such joy as this Consid
er how much annoyance one suffers in
lifetime from a leg. AS boy, one stub
his toes, has chilblains in winter, in sum
mer gets slivers into his feet, or cracks un
der his toes, or blisters. How many cold
come from wet feet, and how much dis
comfort in travelling, in church, or il
An artificial leg is a sovereign remed,
for all these ills. One may kick agains
the pricks with impunity. He NAV leav
his leg out doors all night without a chill
If ihe leg chooses to get wet, nobody
catches cold on that account. As on
gets old and fat, how exceedingly incon
venient to pare his toe nails. But in tn
reformed leg there are no toes; and
there were, the leg could be unshipped
and any little tinkering done withou
STOPPING. Then, too, there is no rheuma
tism in artificial legs An alderman Nigh
feed full every day without the dread O
gout. We recommend H. @. to dispens
with the remaining fleshy leg, and to st
cure another of the improved sort.
will then make no difference if the be
clothes should be pulled up and leave th
feet bare. He could take off his feet O
retiring and put them by the fire, and b
this reduction in length he would requir
not SO long bed, thing not to be despise
on sleeping cars or in ship berths, whic
are always made for short men, but use
for long ones.
Even if one should indulge in the pas
time of football, or, in emergency, shoul
take an offending neighbor in place of
football, how plump and solid the kic
from an artificial foot, compared with til
} milder stroke of feshy one.
How many evils men of nimble limb
suffer from the acquisitions of others. N
one would be teased to dance against hi
will. A man set upon pair of artificial
would not be sent of errands. No on
, would say, ''Do now, like kind fellow a
: you are, just run down to-" etc.
In crowded meetings, one would ne
mind having his toes stepped on, no ma
| if the blundering fellow weighed tor
There would be no corns, though the boot
were ever so tight.
r Indeed, as write the theme expands.
find myself wondering why legs were eve
born to men at all How much better I
2 possess members that defy all sensibility
| all fatigue, all bruising, burning, wettin|
8 and aches and pains of every sort Do yo
not begin to feel, Mr. Bonner, that les
2 were mistake /?
r HENRY WARD BEECHER.