Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-11-25
" ALAS, POOR GHOST p

Says NJ. Quad in late number of Golden
Guy: weep with poor old Brigham Young.
II there is thing more than another calculated
to hurt mans feelings and break him clear
down, it's to take sixty-three wives from him all
at once. He wouldn't have said word if they d
been taken away gradually in crowds of fifteen
or twenty; out to have the whole go at once, it
really leaves vacant place in his kitchen. The
change will be appalling to him. He will try to
gather his one hundred and hfty-six children in
his arms, and they won't be there to gather He
will sound his bell for his sixty-three wives to
rally around him, and only one will rally, and
they will fall on each others necks and weep
lie will imagine that sixty three wives are calling
for him to get up and give the baby soothing
syrup apd peppermint, and the poor old man will
awake from his slumbers to find that it was all
ii dream. When he thinks to seat himself in the
midst of his household there won t be any midst
there, and just such remembrances will come up
every hour to bother him until he is driven mad
But he should not give way. know lots of
men who are content with one wife, and know
lots who would be content without any Mt all
His trouble is great, but not so bad us if he had
had hundred wives to be taken away from him.
My feelings for him induced me to post the fol-
lowing letter yesterday
"DEAR BRIG,-l think it's shame but twas
always thus. Just as fellow gets to doing well
and gets his ranch well filled with wives, that
copfounded thing called the law is sure to step
in. think from present appearances that they II
convict you of the charge If they do, please
allow me to give you bit of advice. Don't
allow anybody to write book about YOU and
don't announce that you will enter the lecture
held as soon as you get out. feel for you as
hard as | can, and don't know a better way to
express my sympathy than to say that I'll be
perfectly willing to let you have my wife any
time you want her All you need to do is to let
her know on the start that she cant boss the
house"
Poor old man He is only eighty-three years
old, and it seems so cruel to cut him down in
his prime. He has been two years training
little hair to grow on his bald head, and there
no one left to pull it. When he rides out with
his family, it will no longer be II Fourth Of July
procession, and when he goes on an excursion
he can't occupy more than one He has been
toiling for twenty years to lay up few wives
for a rainy day, and now sees the whole theory
falling down over his head. Sxty-two Mrs.
Youngs will be driven forth into the cold and
cruel world to hunt up IL whole husband apiece,
and half an acre of little Youngs must begin to
get used to calling some other man "pa." His
power will also be broken. When he sends his
avenging angels out to shoot Gentle, because
the Gentle had no business at Salt Lake, it will
be just like the infdcl to pull out IA revolver
and go to putting skylights through the bodies
of the avengers. When he decides to seize upon
the stock of some Gentle merchant, and sends
out his faithful ones to bring in the goods, word
will go back to him by some small boy that his
faithful are being sat on by coroner, and that
the merchant still continues to sell goods at a
small advance on first cost. When he desires to
marry any particular young woman, and hires
of his church to kill of her father and broth
ers, there'll be new grave dug in the nearest
cemetery, and the sexton will wonder how the
corpse got so many holes through it.