The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-11-27


The needle.
When is a bow not bow? When
it'sa bow.knot.
The most likely thing to become II
woman-Why, n little girl.
Why is the sun like n good loaf? Be
cause it's light when it rises.
Because man would fain leave well
alone is he therefore apump?
What sort of ascent is descent? A
trip up, for it brings you down.
Why are birds melancholy in the
morning? Because their little bills arc
all over-dew.
What is tLc ensiest way for n bad
rider to show himself of To get on u
spirited horse.
Why are young ladies so partial to
sunset and twilight ? Because they are
daughters Of Eve.
In too many lamentable instances, the
:" last scene Of all this strange, eventful
history is-kerosene.
The kindness of distant friends is like
the Polar sun, too far removed to warm
MS.
Bogus "Chicago sufferers " are eabund.
ant and thievish in Western cities and
towns.
To be Independent of external cir
cumstances is the first step TO the enjoy
ment Of life.
The heart, too often, like the cement
Of the Ancient Romans, acquires hard.
ness by time.
Value the friendship of him who stands
by you in Il storm swarms of insects
will surround you in the sunshine.
The proposition for constitutional
convention in Ohio was carried at the
late election by a majority of 1852.
II truth be established, objections are
nothing. The one is founded on our
knowledge, the other in our ignorance.
A Texas editorcomplains that attempts
to shoot him have become so numerous
lately that the thing is getting monoto-
nous.
There is nothing more universally
commended than a fine day; the reason
is. that persons can commend it without
envy.
Ii would be a much better arrange.
ment il the wrinkles of old age were
to come on our heels instead of our
faces.
There are four hundred and nine in.
corponted cities in the United States,
of which st. Augustine, Florida, is the
oldest.
New Hampshire, it is said, possesses
a real curiosity in the shape of Con-
gresham who refuses to frank his wife's
letters.
Every earnest glance We give to the re-
alities around us, with intent to learn,
proceeds from holy impulse, and isa
song of praise.
The total amount Of assets OF the
the Chicago Insurance Companies that
have suspended is about 50, 10000, the
liabilities $50, ,oOO,O0O.
To flatter persons adroitly, one must
know three things-whnt they are, what
they think they are, and what they want
other people to think they are.
II you were the wife of your grand
mothers uncle's cousins half-sister,
what relation would you be to your un-
cle's grandfather's husband, and how
many?
A subject for triumph-"What have
you been crying for George. "Coth
mamma wouldn't dive me thpunge-cake,
Goth I've gotta thtummacl-ache "Ah ha!
I've got 'pungc.cake and n 'tummach-
ache, too!
The easiest way to preserve grapes is
to hang the lunches up in room where
the air is not subject to much change,
ma is pure aud dry. II not below the
freczing.pOint, the cooler the air the
better the grnpes will keep.
"Indinn Joe" Piute medicine man,
well known among the whites, was stoned
to death by his tribe, having failed to
restore to health two sick Indians. The
practice of medicine among Indians cvi-
IDENTIFY has its UNPLEASANT features.
We hope the ladies' will come back to
a simple style Of hair dressing, when
they remember that the most Of the
false hair they purchase is from the ?
heads of the Paris communists, and
from all the prisons here and abroad.
Mr.. Ashbury goes home to build new
yachts and try the speed OF old ones.
He is sure something can be found where
with the Yankee craft can be beaten.
lie proposes to come next yearand every
years until he wins the Queens Cup.
"Givc me pound of oysters, said
n man to an oystcrvcndor who was going
by. II sell by measure, not by weight
said the oysterman. "Then give me a
yard Of them, said the man. The oys-
termnn shook his hea | obviously and
passed on.
A jolly Jack tar, having strnyed into a
show at q fair TO have look ut the wild
beasts, was much struck with the sight
Of lion and tiger in the same den.
"Why, jack said he to messmatc,
who was chewing Quid in silence, 81
shouldn't wonderif next year they were
to carry about sailor and a marine liy-
ing pcaccably together !" "Ah, said
his married compnniop, cor man and
his wife "