Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1871-09-29

WHY LUCY ELLEN DIDN'T MARRY.

Why didn't Lucy Ellen Marigold git
mcrred? I? Hedcn't any chances, eh? Now
Jest you let me tell you how it was. Lucy
Ellen was pretty enough; that wasn't the
trouble; but you see them Marigolds they
are sort Of queer. Now l don't go for ter
say but she's as well off single as merred
there s two sides ter everything; accord
ing to my thinking, I'd as soon be single
and my own mistress, as like Miss Holly
hook. who's always Juggling round baby
In one hand and doing of the work with
tother or like Miss Smilax-you've heern
tell of young Smilax, how awful sweet he
was on her while they were accounting?
Law, bless you, how natures do change
alter Citing themselves merred 'twasn't
more'n fortnight afore he changed his
tune; she d no more burst ask him for a
slXpence than you burst put your head in
to lions mouth To be sure, it's differ
ent with man; if he don't marry, who's
to mend and make for him? Who's ter
coddle him up and flatter and encourage
him like :? Who's ter help him put the best
foot forward, when things kind of hitch
If | was asked, I'd jest advise all the men
to merry, and all the women to stay sim
gle. However, that's nothing to do with
sure, she's took my advice, but no credit
ter her, no more than if she'd took the
varloid, when il was round. Maybe you
have heerd of her gran 'ther, Elder Mari
gold The folks set a heap by the elder
hereabout, though he was the out-spoken-
est mau that ever preached. For instance,
there was Deacon Thrift, used to live out
on the turnpike the deacon was mighty
close-fsted, you see, and some folks went
for ter say that it was worse'n that. How
ever, the elder got wind of how the dea
con had sold six foot of wood to the Wild
dow Hood for good cord, and the next
Sabbath the elder gets up in the pulpit and
breaches about the widder and the father
less-though, mercy knows, Miss Hood
hadn't no children, and was a sight better
off than the deacon and elder put together;
but that wasn't no kind of reason why she
should be cheated out Of her eye teeth,
which they We're false; so the elder he
goes for ter say-a-leaning way out over
the pulpit cushin, and pointing fust to one
| place and then another-'I don't care
who it is, or where he sits, whether in the
gallery or body of the Westinghouse, or
| in the deac0ns seat, the man that II sell six
| foot of wood for cord, is worthy
of fire and birthstone, and I'm afraid he'll
get his deserts I've heerd as how the
deacon made restitootion; but that's moth
ing TO do with Lucy Ellen as | knows of,
only the elder was her gran 'ther, and as
lively man as ever give out a psalm;
however, she didn't inherit nothing from
him, except yoke Of steers and a lot Of
| farming stuff. The fact was, the Mari
| colds might have been somebodies instead
of nobodies and nothings, if Marsh Mari
gold hednt merried as he did, instead of
merging as he ought to heve done, though
it don't become me to say who he ought to
hev merried. Marsh, you see, was named
| after his mothers family-the Marshes
over the river yonder; they were the fust
mud could make 'em. Wa'al, you see,
Marsh he spilled it all by going and merry
ing the slackest piece of flesh and blood
that ever handled broom, jest because
she had pretty face on her. Laws, the
way she ased to cut up was caution; she
had her sister, Tidy, ter live with her
Goodness, many's the time I've laughed
| till | he'd stitch in my side to hear old
DR.. IIeartsease tell about them highsterics
of hers. You see. one day she took very
bad in one the fact was, it was about
| having time, and there was plenty ter do,
and she wanted to shirk it and 60 off vis-
ting her own folks, and leave Tidy to do
| the work and she knew Marsh would
send her if he thought she was poorly; SO
away she goes, working herself into a
| highsteric or convulsions or something,
Jest as well as she knew how to manutac-
ture 'em and she did know better'n most
folks, for she'd been with woman who'd
he'd 'em real SO Marsh he saddles up old
| Flyaway. and brings old DR.. Heartsease,
and the doctor takes pinch of snuff de-
liberate like and looks at her tongue, and
feels her pulse, and finds out how she's
a-playing 'possum the worst kind and he
says ter Tidy, says he:
jest bring me a big pitcher of b'iling
~biling water; bling hot, remember
and Il tin tunnel -
whatever in the world are you going
for to do, Doctor?" said Tidy.
"Never youmind, Tidy" says he. "rm
going ter cure her up /; you jest run and
bring me big pitcher of iling hot water
and a tin tunnel" Then while Tidy was
gone for 'em, says he ter the patient !;
"Now, Miss Marigold if you don't come
out Of that fit Of yourn'' (and he spoke
mighty stern like,) "my treatment is, in
cases, ter pour the bling water down the
patients throat through the tunnel" And
bless you, she came right out OF it atore
the bling water and the tin tunnel got up
stairs.
Il feel better now, she says; 'but amt
that rather severe treatment, doctor?" for,
YOU see she belived he meant to do it.
''In severe cases." says he, 1--WE use Sc
we're measures" !" and then he took another
pinch OF snuff and said goodbye, and
Marsh sent her over to see her folks for
fear she'd hev relapse. You see Lucy
Ellen hed'nt no chance to grow up as she
oughter; since she was child she heerd
her mother act out, and tell all sorts of
white fibs-such as Marsh wanted her to
have help, and she herself wouldn't hear
of it, nor be bothered with a servant about
the house, a-putting their fingers inter the
the jam, and a-stealing of the clothes of
ones back, when Lucy Ellen had heerc
her father say that he couldn't afford it no
way; and how Mr.. Marigold wanted hel
to hev IA Leghorn bonnet and French flow
ers, but, for her part, she thought it woul,