The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-06-22

/ - An Ohio lyceum is trying to cipher out
which Is the oldest battle cry, "Erin go bragh
|er In digo bluep
| - The reason why editors have their man
ners spoiled, is because they receive so many
evil communications.
: An ingenious biped has machine to
make man rise early in the morning. A six
months baby can beat it to death.
Mary, the only daughter of the Russian
Gar, is engaged to be married to the Prince of
Orange, heir of the crown of Holland. No
cards-at least we haven't received any.
= Wanted-a cover for bare suspicion, a
veil for the face of nature, buttons for breaches
of privilege, binding for volumes of smoke,
cement for broken engagements.
"A Nashville paper reports the "obsequles
of the last surviving member of the first Grand
Lodge of Masons in Tennessee" Why they
buried the poor man alive does not appear.
"A gentleman, learned in the origin of So
cial customs, was asked what was the meaning
of the custom of casting an old shoe after a
newly married couple as they started on their
trip. He said: "To indicate that the chances
of matrimony are very slippery
The following advertisement appeared In
an Irish paper: "Whereas, Patrick Mallory
has fraudulently taken away several articles of
wearing apparel without my knowledge, this is,
therefore, to inform him that if he does not
forthwith return the same, his name shall be
made public"
A Nevada paper prints an elaborate arti-
Gle upon the delicate subject of "What shall we
drink 2" After logical review, the writer
concludes that "no man ever lived to green
old age who was renegade to whiskey straight,
and stopped so low as to take sugar In his
liquor"
- An economical resident of Newbnryport,
Massachusetts, applied at the post Office the
other day for ten cents worth of six-cent post
age stamps, and when told he must pay two
cents more if he wanted two, he looked disap-
pointed, and replied: "Wall, I suppose I must
have 'em anyhow, but it seems to me they're
dreadful DEAR"
= An experienced railroad traveller is not
able to decide what position In train is safest:
He things the middle car rides the easiest, and
may be somewhat less dangerous in case of &C.
cident but adds that "no place in car is
wholly safe, and it has no more been decided
which is the safest place in railway train
| than where is the safest place on body to
have boil"
Am old lady gave this as her idea of 8
great man Gone who is keerful of his clothes,
don't drink spirits, kin read the Bible without
spelling the words, and eat cold dinner on
wash-day without grumbling."
eve have a very satisfactory kind of ague
in our mind" writes Western friend to an
other SIT sscomes creeping up fellows back
like ton Of wild cats, goes crawling a through
fever which prohibits the patient from thinking
of anythink but the Independent Order of
Good Templars. It isn't the 'every-other-day'
kind, but gets up with man at daylight and
sleeps in the email of his back all night. His
teeth feel about six inches too long, his joints
wobble like loose wagon wheel, and the
shakes are so steady that one can't hold any
conversation except by putting in dashes."