The Republican journal., 1871-10-19
The Peril of having Handsome Wife.

/
1t is said that a shrewd Persian mon
arch, when he heard of quarrel or mis-
chief, always asked ''who is she ?"-hls
theory being that a woman was the prime
cause of all contentious. How far the
ruler vas right our readers can Judge by
eacl, turning oyer for himself the record
of his personal experience Many will
probably concede that the philosopher of
the throne displayed as much wisdom as
did solomon when he ordered the child in
dispute to be divided by the sword
Without rehearsing all the troubles to
mankind from this source, from Eve in
the Garden to Helen of Troy; fir ON Cleo
natra, who lost Mare Antony the world
to Mrs. Mcfarland who lost one of the
Tribune editors his life-it is sufficient to
say that the usually serene atmosphere at
Washington is agitated by woman's
quarrel-not the first which that political
metropolis has seen, but one of the fun
niest
To begin at the beginning, always the
properest place at which to make a COM
mencement, it may be remarked that the
relations of this government with that Of
Russia have generally been of the frendl-
| est kind. Democracy and autocracy have
shaken hands. The young giant of the
West and the hoary old imperialst of the
| East have reached out over the heads of
England France Germany and all the
rest, and cordially embraced. Tney gra-
cionsly sold us, for seven millions cash in
hand, the icebergs of Alaska, that we
might tickle each other in the ribs across
Behring's straits. They didn't furnish
coal to confederate steamers, and when
the salnted Lincoln expired. tclegraphed
us the most consoling of messages. Well,
nothing could be more proper than that
our next friend should be well and credit
ably represented at our Republican court
| SO the Gar selects for ambassador. Mons.
| Catacazy, a gentleman Of learning, ex-
perlence and ability, and dispatches him.
properly accredited across the ve:sty
waves OF the Atlantic
NJ. Catacazy might in all probability
have continued to discharge the ministe-
rial duties in the uncontaminated atmos-
phere of Washington, with the most dis
tinguished consideration but for one OBJ
| stacle-we had almost said, misfortune.
NJ. Catacazy has wife. Now that fact,
so far from dctracting from his considera-
ton as a man, or influence AS an ambas-
DOR should, with a government flvorng
monogamy. and which is Just now engage
ed i'll II crusade against the Salt Lakeites
for being too much married, entitle the
| representative of all the Russas to high
consideration. But there are other griev-
Gus faults to be removed. Madame G.
has the presumption to be beautiful.
She is likewise young, witty, accomplish
ed and fascinating. She has gone straight
to the hearts of the frequenters of the
Washington Court And especially have
her charms inspired certain of the news
! paper fraternity to tell the world that she
is beautiful. Now, how are those excel
| lent and virtucus danes, the ladies of the
President and Secretary Fish, to endure
all this2 OF what comfort can Mrs.
Grant partake. lady of the White House
though she be, while the charming Rus
sian, at Presidential reception or soiree,
attracts about her all the most distinguish
ed gentlemen? How can she see the
beautiful Catacazy, with her abundant
blonde hair, brilliant complexion, charm
ing eyes, dazzling shoulders and rounded
arms, surrounded by the chief circle Of
the drawing room, and shooting the shafts
of wit from her lovely lips2
Poor Catacazy himself, absorbed in the
labors Of diplomacy, WAS unaware of the
impending storm, until informed that the
President had made request of the En-
peror for his recall. But the imperial
ruler at st. Petersburg, seeing probably
no sufficient grounds for disgracing his
representative, has not yet made the de-
sired change. Meantime the Russian and
his envy-exciting lady are condemned to
all the Sights and cuts that women know
so well how to invent. But all at once
new complication has arisen. The Grand
Duke Alexis is daily expected to arrive in
the country. OF course he becomes the
guest of the President so far as to receive
the civilities of the White House. But he
finds the representative of his government
in unmerited disgrace-a circumstance
not calculated to enliven his visit
1t is really to be hoped that no serious
Misunderstanding will result from this
state of things. 1t is most earnestly desired
that we shall not lose the friendship of the
only European government that was friend
ly in the days of our late national tribula-
ton. But the practical question is-how
can it be averted? If the lady ambassa-
dress now would only have the goodness
to take the small pox, and present a scar
how quickly would the international ques-
ton be solved. Or if she could be smit-
ten with sudden piety, and retire her
charms behind the veil and convent VOW,
the path of diplomacy would be wonder
fully smoothed. But being a lady of
spirit as well as charms, she will do
, neither, undoubtedly holding that
of eyes were made for seeing
linen beauty is its own excuse Tor being"
And SO the quarrel stands. Meantime
let us all pray for our imperilled country,
and anathemize all ambassadors with
handsome wives. ".