The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-11

, DllsSIul ltDdSlulDS-l iaSSSu VI
chins outside restaurant window, and
two mince pies inside.
Richmond has society called THE
Daughters OF the Golden Candlestick.
They are probably snuffers.
The colored people in Gainesville, Ga,
regulate their timepieces by wooden
watch used as jewelers. sign.
An item in a lawyers bill to his eli
ent ran thus: To lying awake at night
thinking over your case, forty-fve dol.
lars.
A yearold boy.baby, beginning to
walk, is by no means good euchre
player, because he insists upon going
it alone"
Now that the embroidered sack has
become the rage the Young ladies de
voutly pray: Give us this day our
daily braid.
as there any, news?' inquired gen.
tleman of a newsboy. Lots o news,
replied the boy, "but nothin' to holler.
A physician has discovered that the
nightmare, in nine cases Out Of ten, is
produced from owing a bill to the
printer.
An Indiana religious sect call them
selves the "Soul Seepers." Body sleep
ing in the religious line isn't so uncom-
mon.
The extra good nature Of tailors,
about this time, q cotemporary says, is
owing to the immense crop OF cabbage
this year.
1t is stated that when the King Of
Siam feels like having a little field
sport he shoulders his rifle and goes
for the missionaries.
Mrs. Moore, OF Indiana, thrashed her
husband for getting drunk, and the
Louisville Ledger calls her the bride OF
lama Moore
Vermont clergymen are allowed to
roll tenpins without their characters
being affected. Their wives are also
| mood IN rollinu.nins
A Missouri lady advertised for the
person who is in the habit ofserenading
aha ea oon % oooid h;m " ~ " ~
'"' ''" 'N
A tailor has invented new fashioned
coat. 1t has neither seam nor opening.
To get into it you have to crawl out OF
''u' '''"'
And now an exchange wants to know,
since work Is pronounced wIrk why
PoT.k ~ not pronounced pIrk lhese
queries are very irksome.
A New orleans oase. oaiilst pu. 70
pract'Ca' use HIS as'',y 'n c".ch!"s
io"is anu syuu,ca.eu ne'snoorlng
ieh'roos' 10 the extent Vi nine c"'cNeie
4 St. Louis LAWYER attempted to try
case the other day wh'ie ne was hal'
drunk; out the Juuge stopper h',h' say
ing: NO lawyer can serve TWO oarS a'
the same 'lme'
A victim OF Greeley's handwriting
says II horaie "au n "':.'e" -: pnh.I 'uat ~
scriPtloh on ine "a,i !" nagy ion;
belshaZzar wOu'u nave oeen goou uea'
more scared than ne was.
John" said cockney lawyer to his
son, 81 see you never will do for an at
torney-you have no henergy. tx
cuse me, father, said John, what |
want is some Of your chlckenary.
A 0,orv ;s told of q nerson ask;no
orotber wbetber he wouId advise him
N lend q certain friend money. What,
lend him money? You might give him
an emetic and he wouldn't return it."
,
Without any apparent cause or prov
oca'lon Wha'gver, 'ne :" ". "a.erousg gns1 nn.sa
"I .Gun' WIZ 49,. n d. . ,oo,iIaso ch;,J !, |
itoI toua s"a thonIIsss sorneDt"
10 ~ nave '>'>'' "
A man courting yonng woman was |
interrogated as to his occupation. 81
am paper hanger on large scale,
he replied. he married the girI' and
turned out TO be a oil Sucker
How n mt money in vour Nurse
Omen vour pocket book take a green |
hack between your thumb and finger
and Law it right in. This is the way
We do II; but we don practice itmuch'
The latest advocate OF Darwlnlsm
points out that the blrd-nestIng propen'
shown by the ancestral monkey to |
trloes'
1t was said Of Edmund Kean, that
he read Shakespeare by flashes OF light
ming. If this were so, 1t would Ger
tainly have been appropriate II his
readings were received with thnnders of