The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1871-03-29
Memoranda.
BY MARK TWAIN.
MY FIRST LITERARY VENTURE.

MY FIRST LITERARY VENTURE.
TVALED1cToRY.-I have now
written for The Galaxy a year.
For the last eight months, with
hardly an interval, | have had for
my fellows and comrades, night
and day, doctors and watchers of
the sick! During these eight
months death has taken two mem
bers of my homo circle and ma
lignantly threatened two others.
All this [ have experienced, yet
all the time been under contract
to furnish humorous matter
once u month for this magazine.
am speaking the exact truth in
the above details. Please to put
yourself in my. place and contem-
plate the grlsly groiesqueness Of
the situation. I think that some
of the 'shumor" I have written du.
! ring this period could have been
injected into funeral lsermon with
out disturbing the solemnity Of the
occasion.
CThe Memoranda will cease per-
manent'y with this issue of the
magazine. To be a pirate, ON 3
low salary, and with no share in
the profits of the business, used to
be my idea Of an uncomfortable
occupation, but I have other views
now. To be a monthly humorist
in q cherries time is drcarier.
So much by way ofexplanation
and apology to the reader for any
obtrusive lack of humorousness
that may have been noticed in my
humorous department during the
year. At last | am free Of the
doctors and watchers, and am so
exalted in spirits that I will cut
this final Memoranda very short
and 90 off and enjoy the new state
Of things. I will put it to pleas
ant aad diligent use in writing q
book. I would not print any
Memoranda at all this month, but
the following short sketch has
dropped from my pen Of its own
accord and without any compul-
sion from me, and so it may as
we'll 20 in. As I shall write but
little for periodicals hereafter, it
seems 10 fit in with q sort of in
offensive appropriateness here.
since it is q record of the first
sc1ibbing for any sort ofpcriodical
I ever had the tcmerity to at
tempt.]
l was very smart child at the
! age Of tifteen-an unusually smart
child, l thought at the time. 1t
was then that I did my first news
paper scribbling, and most unex-
ptctcdIy TO me it stirred up a fine
sensation in the community. 1t
did indeed, and l was very proud
Of it: 100.
I was printers "devil," and a
progressive and aspiring one. Ny
uncle had me on his paper (the
W. cekly Hannibal Journal" two
dollars year in advance 800 sub
scribers, and they paid in cord
wood, cabbages, and unmarketab!e
turnips), and on lucky summers
day ho left town to be gone a
week, and asked me if I thought !
could edit one issue of the paper
judiciously. All, didn't I want to
try! Hinton was the editor Of
the rival paper. He had lately
been Tilted, and one night friend
found an open note on the poor
| fellows bed, in which he stated
that he could no longer endure life
and had drowned himself in Bear
Creek. The friend ran down
there and discovered Hinton wa
| ding back to shore! lie had con-
cluded he wouldn't. The village
WAS full of it for several days, but
Hinton did not suspect it. |
thought this was fine opportunity.
l wrote an claborately wrctchcd
account Of the whole matter, and
then illustrated it with vilanous
cuts engraved on the bottoms Of
wooden type with a jack-knift-
one Of them picture Of Hinton
wading ont into the creek in bis
SHIRT, with lantern, sounding the
depth Of the water with walking
stick. / thought il WAS despe-
rately funny, and was dcnsc!y un-
conscious that there was any NOR
G! obiiquity abont such pub!ica-
ton. Being satisfied with this
effort, | looked around for other
worlds to conquer, and it struck
me that it would make good, in
tcresting matter to charge the edi-
tor OF 4 nelThborlnS country paper
with i piece of gratuitous rascality
and "see him sqnirm!" did it.
putting the article into the form
Of Il parody on the Burial Of "Sir
John Moore" and q pretty crude
parody it Was, TOO Then | LAM
pooned two prominent citizens
outraScousl ly-not because they
had done anything to deserve it,
but merely because thought it
was my duty to mako the paper
lively. Next gently touched up
the newest stranger-the lion Of
the day, the gorgeous journcyman
tailor from Quincy. lie was Il SIM
! nrrino roScomh of he frSt uatnr