The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-08-10
JOSH billings PAPERS.
THE YALLER DOG,


! az long az man haz, and will hang around
it, az long az thare is enny grizzle left ON
bone.
We hav no reliable ackount ov the fust
dog, and probably shant hav ov the final
one.
If Adam kept tarrier, or Eve a poo
die, the laps of ages have washed away
the fakt.
If Noah had pair ov each breed ov
dogs, on board ov hiz vessel, and only
one pair oy feas, he waz well ont for
dogs, and poor ont for feas, But history
| IL numb on this subjekt.
Esaw waz nifty hunter, but wether
he kept houn, or followed the cent him
self, IL az ded, and departed to US, az the
chirp ov the fust reliable cricket.
We read that Esaw sold out hiz birth
rite for soup, and menny wonder at hiz
extravaganza, but Esaw discovered arly,
| what menny a man haz discovered since,
that it IL hard work tew live on a pedi-
gree.
If j was starving, wouldn't hesitate
few swap oph all the pedigree had, and
all mi relashuns had, for quart of pot
tage, and throw in couple CIV graie
grandfathers into the bargain.
1hace IL only one thing that kan beat
hunger, and that IL avarice, hav known
avarice tew starye hunger to death and
then die too, leaving one dollar more, for
some rollickiEg nephew tew invest, in
sherry cobblers, and cigars.
But later along the turnpike ov time,
! 4 l. l.
read that Ackteon, waz ct by hiz canibaI
pups, and in that most wonderful ov all
conceptions, the Odysse, we kan almost
feel the lick on our own hand, that the
faithful Argo gave to Ulysses. after twen-
ty years ov absence, and can almost see
the blear eyed old staghoun, wag hiz last
tail, and then lay down at the feet ov hiz
master and di.
Faithful old dog, yu alone ov all the
rest, no artifce could deceive
But don't intend this essa fo r dogs in
the lump, but for the individual yeller
dog himself
The yelIer dog baz no pedigree, the
blood in hiz veins il az kurde az petrole-
um, when it fust Gums pumping out ov
the earth, bitter, thick, and fiery.
He IL long, and lazily put together,
hiz ears flop when he shacks along the
dusty thorOughfare, and hiz tail IL bur-
den.
Thare IL no animashun in yeIIer dogs
tail, it is useless, the flies aint even afraid
ov it, it iz wuss than 10 per cent mort
gage tew the rest ov hiz boldly.
Viii the yeller dog aint born diskount-
ed, iz a mistery tew me, but when ask
mlself, "whare would yu hitch the tin
pan to- then at once the folly ov bob
tailed yeller dog, flashes on mi mind.
Ever since this kCntinent waz found bi
Christopher Columbus, in 1892, and for
what kno, much time previous tew that,
the yeller dog haz been vagrant, travel>
ling bi moon lite, and hungry bi nature.
WHARF he Gums from nobody seems to
know, and if yu speak a kind word tew
him, he thinks it kite in disguise, and
straddling biz tail. with both hind legs,
he goes suspicious, and sideways, on his
lonesam jurney.
Mankind hav made him vagabond,
and life to him IL made up ov starvashun
and brickbats.
If he Gums out ov biz lurking place in
the hot ov august, he IL ''mad dog, and
the Common council at once assemble, the
riot act iz read, so dollars reward IL offer
ed, men cum painting into town, crieing
''mdd dOg," their two horse wagon waz
bit that morning bi yeller dog, the fury
RACES, old guns are kleaned up, the cannon
IL run out on the village green, danes talk
to danes ov the awful event, men look
sober and defiant, boys pocket their mar
bles in the midst ov the game, pigs run
squealing tew their novels, and the whole
boldly politik surges with horror.
The poor innocent whelp haz done biz
worst, and while whole village IL in the
extacys ov hydrophobia, he has passed on,
and may be seen, tugging away, in the
suburbs, at the shin bone ov a departed
omnibus hoss.
The yeller dog haz but one friend
amung men, and that iz the darkey.
| A common misfortune links them to-
gether.
Why il it, that the old negro, and hiz
yeller dog, are vagabonds on the face ov
the earth
Mans inhumanity il wuss than the
malice ov wild beasts.
A day ov eckoning will cum, day ov
Judgment, and kant tell but what the
yeller dog will be tharei a mute witness,
and then, and thare, will the CRATE prob
lem be solved.
This wurld is phull ov CRATE wrongs,
and the next one will az certainly be az
phull ov CRATE retribushuns.
kant endure the sight ov oppreshun,
it disgraces mi manhood. If had money
enuff would like tew buy even all the
yeller dogs thare il now on the buzzum
ov the earth, and make them respekted
and happy.
But haint got the money, never shall
hav, but az long az hav strength tew