The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
How the Professor Played Horse.


in practice is illustrated by vencratcd
Professor, q most distinguished mathoma-
tician, whose works are still used rs text
books in many Of our institutions, and
which occurred within tho compass Of our
own experience.
He went to Bethel; on bis return no
spent the Sabbath at Lewiston. Monday
morning ho was told that his horse was
sick. Nevertheless ho started, The
horse went q few rods aud fell down and
broke oth'thills. He then sont bis wifo
home, and also sent to Brunswick for On.
other horse and carriage to tako him and
the broken chaisc homo.
When thodrivor came, they lashcd the
two vehicles together aud started. All
went well till they camo to tho first long
steep hill, between Lewiston and Bruins.
wick; on its sumit they hold q consultation.
The Professor had an exaggerated idea Of
lis own strength aud said:
"Mr. Chandler, ii istoo much for tho
horse to hold those two carriages on this
steep descent, take tho horse out. will
get into tho shafts"
Professor" replied Chandler, "tho
brecchiug is strong and so is tho arm
girth."
"But the horse, Mr.. Chandler; It is too
much for tho horse. Beside being strong
or, l know how to take advantage Of the
descent and manage it much better than
the horse"
"If the horse cant hold it, you can't"
"Do you, sir, intend to place mo, in
point Of intelligence and knowledge Of me-
chanical forces, below q horse? | have
made mathematics tho study ofa lifetime"
II have no intention to DO disrespcctful
sir; but know that horse understands
bis business ss-which is handling load on
q hill-botter than all the professors in tho
United States. l was sent up here by my
employer, who conades in me, to take care
Of his property; you will take tho busi-
ness into your own hands, aud bo horse
yourself, you must be auswerablo for the
consequences.
The professor had a habit, when little
excited, Of fgiviug.a nervous twitoh at the
lapelof bis coat. end with bis right hand.
H." he replied with . most emphatic
twitch, assume all responsibility"
Tho driver, in reality nothing 10th to
witness the operation, took out tho horse
and led him BY tho bride; and the Pro-
fossor getting into the shafts, took hold Of
them at the ends.
The forward carriage was just descend
ing tho bill and the hinder ono q little over
the summit, when the Professor trod upon
arolling stone, which caused him to plunge
forward, and increased the velocity Of bis
load 90 much that ho was forced 10 walk
faster than be desired, and exchange the
slau,iug position-vith bis shoulders
thrown well back, and bis feet bracod--
which he bad frst adopted, for q perpin.
dicular one. At length be was pushed in.
to run; the carriages were going at a fear
full rate.
u At the bottom Of the bill was brook;
on each side precipitous banks. Tho Pro.
fessor was between scylla and Charybdis,
going nine feet at o leap. In order to
cramp the forward wheel, be turned sud
denly to the right. The shafts Of tho for.
ward carriage went two feet into the bank,
breaking both Of them short Of; the LASH
ings Of the hinder ono slipped; It ran into
the forward one, breaking the fender; and
both vehicles turned over down bill, with
Q tremendous crash, the learned gentlemen
describing parabola-one Of his favOEite
6gures- and landed some rods away. lie
rose from the earth dirtier and q wiser
man; knees skinned, pants torn, a piece OF
skin knocked off bis forehead, and his best
bat fat as pancake underneath the hind
carriage; and, looking around, said;
"Is it possible I could have been SO
much deceived as to the momentum II
was p:odigiousY
II don't know anything about momcn.
tum, replied Chandler; but ! do something
about horses. know it makes mighty
d;G,.onoo about hold;nc bacL n had nm n