Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-03-04
Brcvities.

stop to pick up! A hint.
An Indiana mother thought she spit
ed counting couple by removing the
light.
Why is newspaper like an army Z
Because it has leaders, columns and rt-
views.
Most people when they cum tew Yu
for advice cum tew have their own
oninyuns strengthened, correcketed -
Billings.
An Iowa paper has correspondent
writing against capital punishment aud
signing his name, $ one who has been
there.
Why should hotels be liable to fire
when every body who sleeps in them
put their hose alongside the bed when
they turn in!
Maine has produced saving machine
which, the other day, sawed cord of
wood in Eve minutes and half, cutting
each stick twice
An ex-1evil of a country printing of.
| fee was questioned as to the duties of
:" printers devil" He replied i" to
bring in clean water, carry out dirty
water, steal wood, lie, and varions other
articles"
A collection of pins, very well made
has just been placed in the Louvre
They were found in the subterranean
vaults of Thebes, aud were made more
than 5000 years ago, showing that the
modern invention is re>invention.
$50 there's another rupture at mount
Vociferous,' said Mrs Partington. as
she puts down her paper and puts up
her specs "the paper tells about the
burning lather running down the noun
tain, but it tell how it got on fire"
Two we'll dressed ladies' were examin-
ing a statuette of Andromedia. labeled
'' Executed in terra Gotta" Says one,
F." where is that ?" ''I'm sure | don't
know" returned the other, but | pity
the poor girl wherever it was"
Don't keep in constant fret about
thirgs that may be annoying, or worry
about things you cant help Trouble
are not lighteued by tretting The true
remedy il to keep cool and Try to mas
ter diihcultics, and not let them master
you.
A hummer boasted that he could tell
any kind of wine or liquor, bliudiolded
merely by the taste. Fl tried one kind
after another. and rapidly named them
At last a glass of water was handed him /
lie tasted it. hesitated, tasted again,
snelt, re-smelt it, and said, II give it
up; that's brand of liquor | never got
hold of before ~
Nothing hinders the constant agree.
ment of people who live together but
mere vanity--a secret insisting upon
what they think their dignity or merit,
and an inward expectation of such al
over measure Of Difference and regard
as answers to their own extravagant
false scale, and which nobody can pay,
| because none but themselves can tell
what pitch amounts to. Thousands of
homes would be happy Tomorrow if
+! this advice were followed, and the offen-
ders could have courage to apply it to
| themselves
What is an editor ?-Some one an
swers this question thus: Why, he
is the man who reads the newspapers,
writes articles on any subject, talks to
all who CALL is blamed for a hundred
things which are uobody's business but
his own, helps people tc get into Office
| (who forgcts all about it afterwards),
and frequently gets cheated out of half
Of his earnings. He works and does
more to build up town than any other
body, and the miser and the fogy are
benefited thereby yet they will say
that the editors 8 paper is one OF no &C.
count will not advertise or take the pa.
per, but will borrow il. Who wouldn't
be an editor.
Somewhere IN Penn. there is a Pres.
Dyteflau clergyman whose nOmlDal Sai>
ary is $3.50 year. But as it was six
months in arrears, the congregation de.
termined togive bin donation party, to
help him along. 1t came off--the do
nation party did The entire flock was
on hand, but Of the presents there were
only 8 rolling pins, a pen wiper, and
quarter of peek of dried apples. crop
of 1864. The minister, of course, had
to furnish refreshments and the com
pany not only discouraged 4 hams, 81
pounds of go cent butter, and 13 loaves
of bread. but they ate up pounds of
sugar and next winters preserves. To
crown all, four spoons are missing. The
clergyman says he wants to have just
one more donation party, and then he
will close up business and begin life over
again as champion pauper at the alms>
honse He is particularly down on one
ster who jammed herself fall of ham
and preserves, and enough other succu.
lent diet to keep the entire family for a
week aud then laid up against the wall