The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-05-28
hsrning Star ard Catholic Messenger.
WIT AND w1sDoM,


A good life keeps off wrinkles.
A good tale, i'll told, is bad one.
The end of o candle-to give light.
good servant makes q good MASTER
gift long waited for is Sold not given.
time to run-When you are in q hurry.
Self-decap itation-A person lifting his hea
The first lesson in MISUNDERSTANDING you
breath.
A poor washerwoman says that while there
life there's soap.
time not to run-When you are sure 20,
cannot be elected
When is blow from q lady welcome =
When she strikes you agreeably.
When is the moon in q bad financial condi
toni When she il in her last quarter.
boy who undertook to ride horse radist
Is now practicing on a saddle of mutton.
The sting of bee carries conviction with
1t. 1t makes q man bee-leaver at once.
Why are types like criminalsf Because it's
not proper to lock them up without proof.
Why is coffin like an axe with dull edge Z
Because it nasto be ground before it is used.
When does rain become too familiar to q
ladyf When it begins to patter ON the back
A crockery dealer, with signal misapplica-
ton of words, advertised his ware as 81 crack
article"
Out West, when q notoriously lazy man i.
caught at work, they say he is meddling with
industry.
Yeiiow-iegged fowls are said to be better
than others for eating. We believe tiff they
are fatter.
Soft soap, in some shape pleases all; and
generally speaking, the more "lye" you put
into it the better.
as his ideal life-the contrast between what
he is and what he might be.
1t begins to look omiaous when the woman |
of the period wants her club; she used to ba
satisfied with the broomStick.
An anti-teetotaller accounts for his perpetua1
thirst from the fact that be was weaned during
the period of Lent-on salt fish.
The difference between q bouquet of flowers
and the bouquet" of wine is, that one makes
a nosegay and the other gay nose.
al say, Pat, what are you mountaineering
out the rOomT No." answered Pat Pun
sweeping out the dirt and leaving the ROOM
If man has right to be proud of any
thing it is of a good action, done as it ought
to be, without any base interest lurking at the
bottom of it. y
drunken man, sprawiing on the ground in I
Paterson the other night, anxiously wanted to
by that earthquake"
When is a rough boy half On acref When f.
he is too rude 1.-TWO rood). When does he be- a
come an acref When he is whipped he be- ..
comes an acre (achre).
During this war;" says q contemporary :,
" France produced no Marshal Murat.b And q,
yet she ate cavalry horses enough to have nro u
duced q martial neigh. u
wag says that in Germany when paper u
says anything witty, they kill the editor ..
Strangely enough one editor has been "
Killed there for two hundred years. q
An illiterate farmer, wishing to enter some W
at an agricultural exhibition, wrote to 81
me secretary as follows: "Also enter me for I'll
num-" ~ Pe rr
Surely Nothing to he Ashamed Obscene : ar
~. Back 81 Country. wash my hands, mum y.
If han has, l.
em. That's what docs, and I'd like to know IN
nat you've got to cay agin it." oil
AS Long as it's Broad.-Charlie (reading)- m,
. Inc Thermometer registered twelve degrees wi
J not Fahrenheit" Charley (more dryly)S sa
No, but it is very far-in-cold." rec
A New York belle, who was purchasing let
pine gloves, told the clerk she wanted to have an
len OF " subdned mouse color" The clerk 4
,'a they were out of that shade, but suggest pls
lnfuriated rat" as a substitute. lit
according to Panch, to be- great orator is On
,eaL distinction, but successful public to
DIV uncomfortable it must be for him when DIV
"hoie assembly hangs upon his lips. sw,
AN old coats advantages are numerous fire,
eU UPie VIII not think it worth while to pick yor
eur pockefs-the ladies will not bother Won ssho
..n shelr insatate love, and you will not be anJ
Ilsed to take tea with your acquaintance GUY
Ma, has Aunty Jane got bees in her e
question ~ I. Rscans, ES,S W ASK such don
He
y her that he would take the honey from her the:
y; and he was 80 long about it wondered and
didn't get stung." listt
I meant to have told Won of that bo1e so;d sect
sseshtieman to his friend who was waking cena
MN MIN in his garden, and stumbled into a last
|. NJ a1ii - OF water. mo matter" said the ever
end' blowing tho mud aud water Cut of his they
-, unu IT, A5 hear
I youth, after being catechised concerning lionl
power Of GOD, replied, INA, there's one If
ing that God can't do" "What is that =" live
kefiy inquired the mother. "God can't H.
fing his ears back - N'ssei WITHOUT His
John Rouse why wilt thou do so?o This aa..,-
sa'o by Thomas Hazard, one of New Bed se see,
'is substantial Quaker merchants sixty VIII
~ ago, TO johnny Rouse, negro in his obed
10y 10y, whom he found before a magistrate, the
iaat not for the first time, charged with dealt
c,,ng why wilt thou do SO, thou foolish Heay
a. sn y always gets caught" "Why, Massa true
the time" from
t nan went to Mr.. Greeley, the other day. GR
olo him he was destitute, he didn't even thing
.S a nanf 81.