Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-07-28
NUMBER II.


=, NS.0p has fthat ieaFIui creature
the Lille Insurance Man, been hit off
better than by Philadelphia news
paper gentleman, who in the follow-
ing neart-rending manner, describes
what nearly every healthy American
citizen has had the misfortune to ex.
periepce:
His name was BENJAMIN p, Gum.
lie came to my office fourteen times
I'm one morning to see If he couId not
persuade me to take out a life-insur-
anee policv in his company. Ha
used to waylay me in the streets. Mt
church, in my own house, and bore
me about that policy. III went To
the opera, Gum would buy the seat
next to me, and sit there the whole
evening, talking about sudden death
anu the advantages of the ten wear
plan. LII L got into stret car, Gum
would come rushing In at the next
corner, and sit by my side, and drag
out . lot of mortality tables, and be.
gin to explain how 1 could beat his
company out of fortune. III I sat
down to dinner In restaurant, up
would come Gum, and seizing the
chair next to me, he would tell a
cheering anecdote about a man who
insured In his company for $50. 600
only last week, and was buried ves.
terday. III | attended the funeral of
q departed friend, aud wept as they
threw the earth upon his coffin. I
would near whisper, and turning
around, there would be the indomita-
BILE Benjamin p. Gum, bursting to
say: Poor Smith / knew him
well. Insured for ten thousand in
our company. Widow left in COM
Portable circumstances. Let me take
your name shall I?' He followed
me everywhere until I got so sick
OF Gunn's prosecutions that / left
town suddenly one evening, and hid
myself In a Sc eoluded country village.
hoping to get rid of him. At the
end or two weeks | returned, reach
ing home Mt one In the morning.
had hardly got into bed, before there
was u ring at the door bell. / looked
out, and there was Guun with auoth-
er person, He asked if Max Adeler
was at home. l said was the man.
Mr.. Gum then observed that he ex-
pected my return, aud thought he
would call around about that insur.
ance policy. He said he had the doe
tor with him, and IL / would come
down he would take my name. and
have me examined Immediately.
was TOO indignant to reply. shut
tue window with slam, and went
to bed again. After break kfast I'm the
morning opened the door, and there
was Guam sitting on the steps, with
his doctor, waiting for me! He had
been there all night. As came out.
they seized me, and tried to undress
me. retreated, and locked myself
up In the garret, with orders to adj.
mit nobody to the house until came
dow n stairs. But Gum was not TO
be baffied. He rented the house next
door, and stationed himself in the
garret adjoining mine. When he
got fixed, he spent his time pounds
ing on the Partition, and crying:
Halo, Adeler Adeler, | say How
about that policy? Want TO take IL
out now?" And then he would tell
me some anecdotes about men who
were cut off Immediately after nav
Ing the first premium. But / paid
no attention to him, and made no
noise. Then he was silent for "A
while. Suddenly, one morning. the
trap door OF my garret was wrenched
OFF; and, upon looking up. / saw
Gum, with the doctor and A crow
bar, and a lot of death rates. comm,
down the ladder mt me. | fled from
the house to the Presb yterian church
close by, and paid the sexton twenty
dollars to let me climb up te. .ue
point OF the steepie, and astride
OF the ball. promise nim twenty
more II he would c-eiude everybody
from that stespie Tor week. Once
safely on the ball three hundred feet
from the earth, made myself COM
Portable. with the Thought that had
aunn at disad van tage, and deter
mined to beat him IL / had TO stav
there month. About an hour az
while 1 was looking Mt a
superb view to the west, / heard a
rustling on the other side of the stee-
pie. looked around and there was
benjamin p. Gum creeping up the
side or that spire In a balloon, I'm
which was the doctor, with the tabu-
lar estimates of the losses of his COM
pany from the Tontine system. As
soon as Gunn reached the ball he
threw. his graphing iron into the
shingles OF the steeple, aud asked
me at what age my father died, and
II any OF my aunts had consumption
or liver complaint. Without reply
Ing, slid down the steeple to the
ground, and took the first train for
the Mississippi Valley. In two
weeks was In Mexico. / .determ-
ined to go TO the interior, and seek
some elevated region, where no Gum
would ever dare to come. I got on a
mule, and paid guide to lead me to
the summit OF Popocatepetl. We ar
rived at the foot OF the mountain at
noon. We toiled upward for about
four hours. Just before reaching the
top heard the sound of voices. and
upon rounding point of rocks, who
should i see but Benjamin p. Gunn.
seated on the very verge of the crat.
er, explaining the endowment plan
to his guide, and stupefyiup him
with q mortality table. while the
doctor had the other guide few
yards of examining him to see IL he
was healthy! Mr.. Gum arose and
said he Was glad to see me, because
now we could talk over that business
about that policy without fear of in
terruption. In paroxyism Of rage
pushed him back ward into the
crater; and he fell q Thousand feet
below with heavy thud. AS he
struck the bottom I heard q voice
screaming out something about nom
forfeiture;" but there was q sudden
CONFUSION Of the mountain, q cloud
OF smeke, and heard no more, I
know IL was wrong to kill Gum, but
he forced me TO do It In self defense |:
and hope his death will be- q warn :
ing to other insurance agents who re-
main among us.-- Harpers Monthly.