The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1871-09-15
EauaI 10 MAX Twain.

|
m, Equal to marx Twain.
Newspaper writers will thoroughly Or
preciate the following o'ef!tFtie ltalt
which we take from the Philadelphia
Dispatch: .l.a.,.. rsEi1i-
A week or two ago one of our reporter
had occasion TO refer to certain woman
whom We will call Hannah Smith, as
denizen of the Eleventh Ward. A day
Or two afterward &hnge man entered the
Office with his brow clothed with thun'
der. In his hand he carried a fearful
clnb, and at his side trotted a bull dog
whom hunger had evidently itnade, deS
pFrater With That quick appreciation Of
the situation, which Is crelitable 10 the
superior intelligence Of educated men, the
editor Of this paper and thGlpE0prietofH
darted 10 the window, climbed outside,
slid down the lightning.rod, Ard went
across the street TO watch tho blonty fray
through spy.glass. With the 9eafless-
ness 81 conscious innocence We DIT still,
merely inserting 0nIalega6 In two sections
Of stove.pipe to guard against any inisap.
prchenSion uf, facts on the ia it Of the hull
dog. The man with the club appfOae hed.
Are you the editor y no asked spit.
ting on his hand and grasping his club.
We told him that die editor was out; that
he had gone to the north pole with Capt.
Hall, AMI. That he woRid not return Boy
tore 1915, in time for the centennial 0eleS
DrattOn.l o.1 H'3i.' 7..d1q gI.gIaHi oI d
"Are you the proprietorH" asked the
man. IN s,-gg- r5rv15 4 5tis, h, =.
We explained 70 hun that were not;
that the propFiet6S were ALSO out; that
they had gone TO South America for the
the purpose Of investigating the curative
properties of cuhdurango, lRnd they Sel
pected to remain there for several years.
"Well, whoever you are exclaimed
tho warrior, my. name,is Smith r. saisr
We told him we were glad because, If
there was one thing better than the pos.
session Of the name OF Smith, 1t was the
privilege 81 knowing a man OF that name.
'But Smith," we said, "why this battle
arrayY II Is absurd for man TO put on
the panoply Of war, and frisk into editors
sanCtums fhmhllng o club and accom-.
panied by disheartening bull dog,
simply because his name happens to be
Smith" aIs.I H7g
He said he called in to burst the head Of
The man who insulted his sister," ''l1 ~
at Is impossible, Smith, that such a
Thing could have been done by any one in
This oillCe.prtIF ara a8iST s-rr.
as, but 1t was, though; and her name
was published, too Miss smith-Miss
Ldnjiet Smith, llE5irERDI
"May we be permitted to inquire, Mr..
Smith, what was the precise character OF
The afront offeredt Hannah Ppf a MOT
"Well, you see," said Smith "Hthe black.
guard said she was denizen. And |
want you to understand" exclaimed |
Smith, becoming excited, and brandishing |
his club In wild manner over our head,
while the bull dog advanced and com.
nenced to sniff up and down our stove
Dipe-"I want you to understand that she |
s decent young woman, with q good
and none Of your denizens and
,uch truck. The man who says she Is a
lenizen Is blaCkguard and thief, and
I'll smash him over the nose II i get q
chance. They may say whatthey please
about me, but the man who fPbGses my
sister has got to suffer" And Smith
struck the table in q violent mRnnerwith
bis club, while the bulldogp utGlIis fore
egs up on the back OF oiF chair, !. -.atEl
We pacihed Smith with a dlctionary.
We pointed out ID that raging warrior
hat the Websterian definition OF 1.-The
word "denizen" gives such apersoH IN
lnofIendlng character, and depriyes the
ERIN OF everything like reproach. Smith
aid he was satisfied, and he shook hands
md kicked the bulldog down stairs, The
ditor and proprietor, seeing that aliiWas
ale, Immediately climbed the lightning |
cd and soon Appealed at the window,
where they were introduced 70 Smith,
With the remark that they had returned
rom the North Pole and the cline Of the
somewhat unexpectedly, in
rider TO surprise their relations, -.
And n0wF6we suppose Smith win be I
mad because we have told this story
bout him, and he will DO coming down
interview US again, In wars magnih.
ent stern array with n fresh bulldog. {
Tut II will be in vain. We have rented
n office In the'top Of the shgtltpwer, and
ave planted torped9es and spring guns
Il the way up tie stairs. We warn this 1
lcendlary Smit6to beware. p. e, z. Z