Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-05-04
CURRENT ITEMS.

THE dividends of the Mutual Life, of
Chicago, are paid annually, in cash or IN
surance.
THE wife of Governor Claf1in, of Massa
chusetts, has a sewing class of 100 girls IN
charity school in Boston.
ScHoHAR1E Co, N. Y, had a wedding
the other day, at which all the males pres
ent were over six feet in height.
A CITIZEN of Montreal is under arrest
for refusing to tell census enumerator
the ages of his two unmarried daughters.
AT recent wedding reception young
lady accidentally set her back hair on fire.
When it was extinguished, she said she
was glad it wasn't her best.
In suit against ship captain in New
York for cruelty to his seamen, one OF the
allegations is that he compelled them to
eat sperm Oil on their crackers.
IT is unjust to blame man who doesn't
advertise because his prices are high. He
has to make them high because his sales
are SO small
A CONNECTICUT school-bo has written
a composition on the horse, in which he
says it is an animal having four legs, Zone
at each corner"
A NORTHAMPTON editor brags of cat
which killed nine snakes in one day late
ly, and laid up the insensate carcasses on
his front doorstep.
THE strongest propensity in woman's
nature, says careful student of the SEX is
to want to know what is going on, and the
next strongest is to boss the job.
A BLIND man who lives in Cambridge,
Mass, always takes lighted lantern out
with him when he goes into the street at
night. People who can see are thus kept
from running into him.
An ingenious New Yorker has invented
a pocket in the sleeves of gentlemen's
overcoats, SO that a lady can slip her hand
in when she takes a gentleman's arm, in
case her hand should happen to be cold.
A FOND father recently wrote: a 1t gen
orally takes twenty years of training to
eradicate that word nice from a woman's
vocabulary The falls of Niagara, the
psalms of David, and the progress of the
human race were all nice to my eldest till
she got married"
A VERY singular bill has been presented
in the Pennsylvania Senate. 1t proposes
to grant permission to persons to record
before magistrate a pledge to abstain
from the use of intoxicating liquors, and
Furnishing breach of the pledge SO record
ed by imprisonment
AN exchange thinks those postal cards,
which have the letter all written out in
plain sight, are going to prove drawback
to the rapid distribution of mails, as every
post Office clerk will have to wait until he
reads the letters before distributing them
"THAT man." said wag, "came to
Nashua forty years ago, purchased a
basket, and commenced gathering rags.
How much do you suppose he is worth
now" 1t was conundrum we could not
answer. Nothing" he continued, after
pause, "and he owes for the basket"
A WEDDING is soon to take place at
Pittsfeld, Mass, the parties to which were
engaged twelve years ago, but owing to
the Incorporate habits of the groom, the
match was broken off. and he went to a
w, stern city, where he reformed and be-
came prominent in his profession. Last
summer the parties met Unexpectedly, re-
newed their acquaintance, and are to be
married shortly.
HERE is the most dog goned affectionate
sample OF amatory poetry that we have
ever seen:
When old Carlo sits in sallys chair,
OH don't wish that were thereI
When her fairy fingers pat his head,
Oil don't " ish twas me insteadl
When Sally's arms his Ieck imprison,
OH don'II wish my neck was his'n!
Ohl don't wish that was thosel
l SAIL tell you how it vas. I drink
mine lager; den put mine hand on mine
head, and dere vos one pain. Den I put
mine hand on mine body, and dere vas
anoder pain. Den l put mine hand in
mine pocket, and dere vas noting. So
jine NIT de Temperance. Now dere is nc
more pain in mine head, and de pain il
mine body vas all gone away. put mine
hand in mine pocket, and dere vas dwenty
dollars. So I shtay NIT de temperance
A WOMAN committed suicide by hang
ing herself to an apple tree. At tht
funeral neighbor, noticing the sad an
pearance of the husband, consoled him
by saying that he had met with q terrible
loss. =" Yes" says the husband, heaving
sigh; "she must have kicked like thunder
to shake off six bushels of green apples
that would have been worth dollar {
bushel when they got ripeP'
A ALuDIcRoUs scene happened at the pal
ace Of William the First after his return tt
Berlin. The Emperor has an enormou
Newfoundland dog, whom he did not tax
with him to France. When William
entered for the first time after his retur
the hallway leading to his private apart
ments, the huge animal, recogizing hi
voice, rushed upon the Emperor, and, il
his impetuous joy, actually threw Williar
the First on the floor. The Emperor ros
smilingly and caressed the dog.
SOMEBODY asserts that admission fees ar
to be charged at fashionable wedding
hereafter. Imagine big fence posters
.Grandest Nuptial of the season. TIL
lovely - to the manly Sever,
novelties never before presented Ne,
oyU
cts, vi +; reserved seats (middle aisle) 8
cents extra. N. B.-All persons occup,
ing reserved seats are assured that the
full names will be mentioned in societ
papers,"
A TELEeRAPH1c FEAT.-The Londo
Times of recent date says: "On Satul
day'experiments were made on the Inds
European line, Uia Teheran, to work direc
without any re-transmission between Ems
land and India. Bombay and London inte
changed signals perfectly, and CONNIE
clal message was sent to Bombay direc
by London at :58 p m, and was instant,
neousfy acknowledged. This is the fir.
occasion on which the telegraph has worl
ed direct, without any transmission
between England and India. The di
tance from London to Bombay, by tb
lndo-European line, is 5000 miles"
A FAMOUS dentist in Newcastle ws
once requested to use his powers over tt
decayed tooth of pitman, which W.
giving him much pain. Geerdie was r
quested to take chair. and before he hs
got well seated the refractory member
his jaw was skillfully drawn, to his gre
relief and astonishment. "Ah," e.
claimed he, "that wis clivorly dun
What's thee chairge?' The dentlst r
Piled that his usual fee was above the orc
nary means of a working man to pay, al
ne would merely ask a trifle-perhaps b
patient would not think half a crown t,
much? "Thou's Joking, doctor.' said Ii
pitman; "the last tuith aw had pulled O
tuik the man half an hour-and he trail
me aw over the room afore it gil way
and he only charged shilling for t
jobl"
THE New Orleans Picayune tells go
story of belle of that city, who, in COZ
pany with several friends, was examini
q fine picture gallery and admiring t