Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-01-27
BREVITIES AND LEVITIES

of Grants relatives, they have thus fsl
never failed to keep an appointment.
Gail Hamilton charges that as rule
women do whatever work they have to
do badly, and don't keep their engage.
ments.
Punch thinks it would be real bless
ing to mothers if somebody could invent
asoap that would enable msmmas to get
their daughters off their hands.
There is an Office in Newport, r. l.,
the proprietor of which wishes but one
customer at time. He accordingly puts
us sign, 'tNo room for more than two
loafers here"
Wales is out in letter remarking that
'It will afford him great satisfaction to
preside at the anniversary festival of the
Earlswood Asylum for Idiots in the en-.
suing year."
Contracts have been made with roughs
of Chicago to supply other cities with
subjects, thus combining profit with
amusement.
A country girl coming from the field
was told by her cousin That she looked as
fresh as daisy kissed by the dew. ''No,
indeed, " was the simple reply, 'that was
not his name"
Xenis, Ohio, girls have pleasing habit
of kissing strangers in the street, and
then wildly screaming, ooh! thought il
was my cousin Charlie!n
When last heard from the Chief Justice
of the Supreme Court was shooting wild
geese in the ponds near Narragausett,
fbuc avbib;t;,or tho 1i1yi,,cr nm, hOI;D, 1F
a wild goose Chase.
Bridgeport justice is rather peculiar.
A mans son robbed him and was arrested,
whereupon the boy was fined SIT, which
the father had to pay. He thinks it is
cheaper to deal directly with the boy.
A poet asked friend what he thought
of his last production, can Ode to
Sleep" ''YOu have done such justice TO
the subject that it is impossible to read it
without feeling its whole weight, " Was
the reply.
This was an advertisement in Tennes-
see paper: Lost or strayed from the
subscriber a sheep all over Whitehall
persons shall receive five dollars to bring
him. He was che goat.
Aphysician said of qusck that che
was such an ignOramus, that, if he could
take lantern and go down inside his
patient, he couldn't find out what the
matter was"
Marshall p. Wilder has received the
champion pear from California. Ii
weighs four pounds nine ounces, measures
twenty-one inches lengthwise and
eighteen and a half around it.
A romantic youth in Lockport touched
his guitar and sang that beautiful serel-
ade, 'Put me- in my little bed" He was
ordered to go by persons who appeared on
the balcony, or they would "stsnd him on
his little head"
An excellent old deacon, who having
won an old turkey al g charity rattle, did
not want to tell his severe orthodox wife
how he came by it, quietly remarked as
he gave her the fowl that the Shakers
gave it to him.
A ''big Ingin" strayed away from his
camp and got lost. Inquiring the way
back, he was asked, 'Tndian lost2" 'cNo, u
he said, disdainfully, "Indian no lost;
wigwam lost Striking his breast, he
exclaimed, 'Indian herel"
A man was boastiDg to Lord Palmer
stop: 81 spend half my income in chair
ty, l assure you; l do, indeed! l give
thousands of pounds away. Generosity
covers everything" Including modes
ty, sometimes" added his Lordship.
A physician examining his student as
to his progress, asked him: 'Should a
man fall into a well forty feet deep and
strike his head against one of the tools
with which he had been digging, what
would be your course if called on as a
surgeon" The student replied: 81 should
advise them to let him lie and fill up the
well"
A lady who was acting as gratuitous
amanuensis, in writing letter for lady
friend last week, had the impudence to
throw the letter in the fire when nearly
finished, for the simple reason that the
lady for whom she was writing mOdestly
requested her to close the letter by say
ing: "Please excuse bad spelling and
writing"
Two Emeralders working on new
building were dry, and one bet the other
pint of whisky that he could not carry
him to the roof in his bod. Mike Shout
dered Pat, and after slow and painful
Juggling, dumped the precious burden on
the roof. "Ah, Mickey, my boy" said
Pat, rather crest-fallen, ''yOu've won the
bet, but mind yez, as yez was passin' the
fourth story yez stumbled, an had
hopes"