Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1871-08-15
BpTRANsIBNT BTLIs-CAsH.
A DOg-matiO Story.

OOS Mot4O ObOlys
An editor in Iowa advertised the Other ;isv
that ne ''WOuld take good dog in payment
OF one years subscription for his paper.
Iee next day forty-three dogs were sent 10
The day afterWard, when the news had
spread out into the country, four hundred
farmers had sent two dogs apiece bv exDress- ).
" ''S "a eIga' basket full Of puppies, al marked
In the meantime, the OIfsr found i. S,x.
into neighbOring States, and. bofore IN. ~ +,
OF the week, there we're eight thousand do
tied up with ropes, in the editors front sSS
back yards!
The assortment INCLUDED all the kinds from
bloodhOunds down 10 pOOdIe1. n
few hundred broke loose and svarmed
on the siairWays aud in the entries. and stoo5
outside the saRciiBO, and hOWled. and had.
lights, aud shifted under the crack Of the door
as IT they were hungry for some editor.
And the editor climbed out the window. m :
the Waier-sPout, aud out on the comb ~.
the roof, and wept.
There was no issue Of the paper for sig
days, and the only way the friends Of he en-
inent journalist could feed him was by sepd.
ing lunch up TO him in balloons.
AT last somebody bought barrel of arsenic
and three tons Of beef, and poisoned the dogs.
aud the editor came down TO find on his desE
a bill from the Mayor for eight thousand dol
lars, being the municipal tax on dogs at one
dollar per head.
lie is not Offering the same inducements 10
subscribers nov, aud he doesn't want dog.
"a Pleasant instance Of poetic iustiee %
says an exchange, "is reported from a town
III OreEon. One morning young man called
upon the editor of the only paper in the oountr
asked permission to look at the files Of tbSs
paper for 1869. Il was granted. While tbo
editor was ia bed, waiting till his wife eonId
wash his shirt, that yonng man carried aVay
the ME, nor was It ever seen again until his
lawyer offered It IN evidence during the trial
0i an action OF 10000 damages. for an al,
legged hblc which that Young man brought
agaiustthat editor IL is gratifying 20 lesrn
that the plaintiff recovered six and a cuarloF'
cents damages, aud was arrested BY the editor
on charge ot stealing books, convicted and
sentenced TO the PeuiteutiaTy for seven years.''
= The officer of the deck on board a man
OF war asked the man nt the wheel, one dayI.
I" How does she head 2" It was blowing :
gale of wind.
"South"yst," replied Pat, touching his hat.
but forgetting to add Sir to his answer.
You'd better put few more Sc in your
answer when you speak to me" said the iuiIy-
lieutenant.
"Ay, ay. sir-r,r," returned the witty Irish,
a day or two after the officer called out
''IIow does she head now p {st q?
',Southnyst aud be south, half south and a
little southerly, Stree, your honor sir r.
screamed Pat"
"A man in Illinois, 81 hours after his
Wltp dIad aud hat.,-, - q
aues with the girls. For this the. indignant
neighbors tarred aud feathered him.
- The following is a noteworthy specimen
oi medical prescriptions written By ignorant
Pretenders. II is genuine -
Tinci. KampGre, won ounce,
Tinct. Lodenum, little.
Iinct. Hot drops, few drops.
Iinct. kyan pepper cents worth.
hIorei"rm, little, but not much, as itisa
dangerous medicine.
. Dose, Tablespoonful when the Kramps
come on.
- One Of the most audacious robberies ever
placed ON record was perpetrated in .OhiO
within six miles Of Medina, on Saturday. bV
two bold robbers, who accosied a Mr.. G1v ia
hIs garden, charging him with being 4 couu,
ieriener, after which they placed him 10 irons
and robbed his residence Of several thousand
dollars. - q
= a Virginia editor has como 70 the con.
clusIon that man might as we'll undertake 70
hold himself at aims length and then turn 4
double somersault over n meetiBg.house
steePie, as TO attempt to publish paper that
will suit every body.
= According TO the CoRgyessiorol Gill;.
the cost OF the White House" last year vas
Sl32,sOO. Besides the annual appropriation
OF SO 900 for fitting up and Teiuriishine,
thereis the additional sum Of $50, 900 for the
the same purpose.
ES- Nick'S stout landlady spolopited for
the meagreness Of her breakfast by saving that
when her butcher failed her, she aiwaVs fell
back on her hams. "Madsm." said NieE
e8nso'lnsly Jon could not fall back on any-
thing more substantial"
sa- A postmaster thus expresses his opin.
ION that his Official returns are correct:
i hereby certify that the fouT going A
Coun,e IS as near Rite as nov how TO mako
Pers.'
naF-. Well, my DEAR said our good pastor
at SuDday-schOOl, TO a toW-headed urehin. y
@In GLAD TO hear you are getting TO be better
boy. why. SIR said little Joe. looking M
sick 9S--
"A man who'd mslieiously set Ere 70 Z
barn" said good. old Elder POysOD, Hand
burn up stable full of horses and cows, onght
20 be kicked to death by jaekass, and ia
Ike 70 be the one to do It"
= There is something to initiate even In
the 'heaihen Chinee" They celebrate their
holidays by paying their debts, fOrgiVine their
enemies, and shaking hands all round"