The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-07-06
Josh Billings on Corn.

kOfll Is Il ScTlii' AN Sidu Wv ip'
1t cot its name from Series, u prlmi-
,if woman. and her day, the goddess of
oats, and sich like,
korn liz sumtimcs called maize, and it
rrows. in sum parts Ov the Western
country, very amaizenly.
| have seen it out their Is foot hi Il
don't mean the aktual kOrn itself, but
the tree on which it grows.)
korn haz ears, but never haz but one
ear, which IL as def as an adder.
lniun meal IL made out NV korn, and
korn dodgers are the tullcst chunks oy
lhc bread perswashun known tew man.
Korn dodgers are made ont ov water.
with iniun meal MKT ihtO it, AID then
baked ON Il hard board in the presence
ov lot fire.
When YOU can't drive ten penny
nail into them. with a slcdgc hammer,
and they are scd hi good judges, to be
well done, and ar rcddy to be chawcd
upon.
They will keep five year in damp
place, and not gro tender, and dog hit
with one ov them will yell for u week,
and then crawl under tho barn and NUT
ter for two days more.
one side ov l;orn dodger without pro-
ducing emmy result, and think could
starvc to death twice before could Sc
duce Il kOrn dodger.
They git the name dodger from the
inmegiate necessity of dOdsing t one IL
hove horizontally at yu in anger,
1t IL far better tew be smotc by }
year old steer than korn dodger that IL
only three hours old.
korn was first discovered hi the in
iuns, but WHARF they found it / don't
know, aud don't know rs kare.
Whiskec (noble whiskee) is made out
ov korn, and whiskee js one ov the
greatest blessings known tcw man.
We never should have been able teW
fill our State prizions with energetic
men, and poor-houscs with goode
eaters, if it warnt for noble whiskcc.
We never should hay had emmy tenn
pcrancc SONS ov society, nor democratic
politicians, nor priZe-fites nor good
murders, uor phat aldermen, nor whis-
kcc rings. nor nothing, if it warnt for
blessed wliskcc.
If it want for korn how could emmy
body get horned! IL.
Ifit want for getting horned what
would lite be worth!
We should all sink down to the level
Ov the brutes if it want for getting
horned, .a
The brutcs don't get horned, t1ey
laint got any reason nor soul.
We often hear OF "drunkcn brutes.'
This is Il compliment to oxen which
don't belong tcw them. ,,
KOrn also haz kurnclS, and kurnels
arc often corded, so are briS, dier GIN
erals.
Johnny Kadc is made out of korn, so
IL hasty puddin.
IIasty puddin and milk is quick tcw
cat,
All you have to do is to gap, and
swallow, that is the last of the puddin.
korn was familiar tcw antiquity.
Joseph waz sent down into Egypt after
some kOrn, but his brothers didn't want
him to 20, so they took pity on hin ana
pitted him in pit.
When his brothers got back hum, and
were asked where Joe woz, they didn't
acknowledge the korn, but lied some;
1t has been proved that it IL wicked
to lie about korn, or emmy of the other
vegetables.
Tharc is the difference between Icing
and saving wood, it IL easier to lie, es-
pcshly in the shade.
korn has ono thing that noboddy else
has got. and that liz kOb.
This kOb runs thru the middle of the
kOrn, and iz as full of korn as JOB waz
of bilcs.
alwus feel sorry when | think Ov
Job, and wundcr how he managed to
sit down in chair.
Knowing how tcw set down, square
on bile, without hurting the chair, IL
one OF the lost arts.
job was card he had more pasllunce
and bilcs, to the square inch, than Is
usual.
One hundred and twenty-five akcrs ov
korn to the bushcl is kOnsidcrcd good
krop, but have seen more.
hav seen kOrn sold for 10 cents a
bushel, and in sum parts ov the western
country, it is so much, that tharc amt
no good law against stealing it.
LII kOnklusllun, if you want tcw git
sure krOp, feed about quarts oy 1t tcw
Il sllanghi rooster, then murder the
rooster Immediately, and sell him Tor
II cents a pound, krop and all.