The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-05-25
More Humorous than Scientific.

J More Humorous than Scientific.
The Chicago Post Is to be congratulate
ed upon having attached to its staff
writer Of such rare gifts and acquires
ments AZ the gentle man who penned
the article, "What shall we Eat ?" aud
which we find floating about through
our exchanges. Men who can dress up
nonsense In SO attractive and spicy a
manner are not numerous, and are a
boon to the dailies who can secure their
services.
First, he tells US that "when we pour
milk into a cup of tea or coffee, the albu
men Of the milk, and the tannin Of the
tea instantly unite and form leather, or
minute flakes of the very same COM
pound which is produced in the texture
of the tanned hide, and makes it leather
as distinguished from the original skin.
In the course Of the year, q tea drinker
of average habits will have imbibed
leather enough to make a pair of shoes,
if it could be put together in the prop
er shape for the purpose"
Now, we beg our readers and others
who have laughed at the fun of this par
agraph, and then grown sick at the
thought of their stomachs being turned.
into tanyards, not to give themselves
any uneasiness. The humor of this
pleasant writer is Ear greater than his
knowledge. 1t is gelatin, not albumen,
that unites with tannin in the manufac-
ture of leather, and gelatin does not ex-
ist in milk, unless it Is put In by mis-
take or design.
Again our funny scientific lecturer
says, "A great many things go into the
mouth" This is not al original remark.
We have seen it somewhere. But it is
an alarming fact. We drink, every one
of US, pair Of boots a year. I'VE carry
constantly, in our blood, iron enough to
make horse shoe"
Smelling furnaces. as we'll as tanner
les, are We called? Let ussee. The av.
erage quantity of persons weighing lao
lbs, is one fifth the entire weight-2s
lbs., which contains, accordinS to Le-
canu, less that 0 OO2 of Its weight Of OK
ide of iron, or less than GA of an ounce,
of which less than three fourths, or less
than half an ounce is iron. What sized
horses have they in Chicago that wear
shoes weighing only half an ounce?
Again we are told that I'VE have clay
In our frames enough to make, if prop
erly separated and baked, doztn good
sized bricks" #
whereabouts is this clay located in
the human system? The statement is
no doubt based on facts peculiar to Chi
cago. One brick is as much as a good
sized New Yorker can carry. Does oul
friend mean to intimate that people in
Chicago can carry q dozen and good siz
ed at that? OF course, when speaking
Of frames, he means hat frames, since
clay does not enter as al ingredient into
the animal economy. I'VE eat at leas
| a peck of dirt in a month-no, this Is no
too large an estimate" That may b,
true, but we don't think Chicago ca.
beat New York in this respect, no mat
ter how many bricks her citizens can
individually stagger under. In tn,
matter of dir: eaters, we do believe WI
have some champions that can beat tn,
world; we will not do violence to then
by publicly nj ming them.
But we are not only charged with be
ing tanneries, iron works, and brick
yards, but with being hat factories. Say
the scientist of the Chicago Post, "Th'
man who carelessly tips q glass Of lage
to his stomach little reflects that he hal
begun the manufacture Of hats, yet sucl
is the case. The malt Of the beer assim
ilates with the chyle and forms sort 0
felt-the very same seen SO often In ha
factofies. But not being instantly util
lied, 1t is lost" -a.< -.s &
Cannot some inventor make his for
tune by invsntiRg process for savin,
this felt, made not out Of lager and chyle
but out of the wool extracted from tn
Chicago editors eyes? Certainly hi
acquaintance with lager is limited, or h
does not know chyle.
/ But we are marble yards" a. WE'LL
He goes on to say: lit 10 also estimate
that the bones in every adult person re
auire to be fed with. lime enough I
make = marble mantle every sigh
months"
This Is good when It Is considered 1
: connection with the fact that . drie
/ human body weighs from fourteen
. twenty pounds altogethsr-bonss, mui
, cells, and viscsTa.
, Finally our Chicago phisiolngist sun
} ,.ur: