Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-06-09
A COUNTRY POSTMASTER.
Trials ana Tribulations of United
States Official.
From the Springfield Qll.) journal.

States Official.
From the Springfield Qll.) Journal
The vexatious annoyances and
perplexities attending the Office of
Country Postmaster are almost innu-
merable. Suffer me to relate Just a
few. | have tried some very diff
cult things, but that of collecting
newspaper postage stands pre- emil
nently at the head of the list of diff
ticulties. There is a certain divine
who patronizes our Office, who fills
my eye on the postage question. He
never has to be asked for his post
age, but comes squarely up and liq-
uidates at the proper time. In my
opinion he is not far from the king
dom of heaven. Would that his fol-
lowers and "thc rest of mankind"
might initiate his most excellent ex-
ample!
Your country postmaster has no
quiet hour that he can call his own,
unless it be after midnight, and then
he is not always safe. He is called
up after retiring to his bed at night
to see if there is letter in the office
for man who did not have time to
come in daylight. He is met on the
road to church, and asked to leave
his wife and children and 90 to the
office. If he succeeds in getting to
the church at all it is through great
tribulation, and perhaps at "a late
hour; and every toot-step he hears
after getting there he thinks some
one is after him to go to the office;
SO he gets very little good of the
sermon. Then, there is certain
class Of men who think You ought to
sell them two three cent stamps for
five cents. (This. class never buy
anything of the postmaster but
stamps.) We also have few bust
ness men who never buy but one
stamp at time. No matter what
you are doing you must wait on
them instanter. When they come
to buy their stamp, they can't buy a
quarters worth at time; the inter
est on the money would be some
thing lost. Another class of men
expect you to lick every stamp thev
buy, as matter of course. At times
you are very busy writing; a man
comes in and calls for stamp; you
get up and hand it to him; he does
not offer to pay you for it, but pro-
cceds very deliberately to 90 down
to the bottom of his pocket for let
ter wrapped up in about a yard and
half Of paper, unrolls it slowly
(you IN the meantime on nettles to
get to writing,) takes the stamp,
licks it SO thoroughly that he takes
every particle of mucilage off, then
says: "This stamp won't stick.''
You put on mucilage for him, he
sticks it on; hits it five or six licks
with his fist, and hands it to YOU
(never drops it in the box); then
goes down for his pocket book, un-
ties, hard knot, unwraps four yards
and half of twine, takes out five
dollar bill and hands YOU, saying
that is the smallest he has. Now.
Mr.. Editor, it seems to me that a
man, under these circumstances. if
his morality is not of the highest
tone, will be almost obliged to use a
little protane language. Nothing
but the strictest early moral train
ing by a pious mother, descended
from the Pilgrim stock, rcstrains
me. Our office is sometimes thronr-
ed at mail time. A matter-of-fact
man plants himself at the window
(about twenty-five persons behind
him waiting for mail,) asks You if
there is a letter for Joe Brown. You
inform him there is none; he then
calls for the whole Brown family.
Failing to get letter, he then re-
lates to you that he was expecting
one from Ephraim Jones, who lives
Just in the edge of Posey county,
Ind; that he married Jones' sister
In the fall of 1868; that they have
five children-three boys and two
girls; that the youngest one weigh
ed 10 pounds and IA ounces when it
was born; that some of Ephraim's
folks were sick the last letter thcv
got, and he and the old woman were
getting anxious to hear from them.
All at once new idea strikes him:
he wants to know if there is any
package for him; he has been look
ing for something of the kind for Il
long time; did not know whether it
would come by mail or express.
Which would be the cheapest? OF
course you must answer his ques-
tons; and ask him if his children
have had the measles and whooping-
cough; and whether Mrs. Browns
health is good, and if there is any
prospect for another baby, or he
might sign petition for your re
moval. He at last brings his re-
marks to close by asking you to
back letter to Indiana, Posey coun-
ty, Ephraim Jones; and you get rid
Of him. BY this time the persons
behind him are getting pretty tired,
or have received their mail over his
head and gone. O, dear, l must
close, for it is time to make up the
mail. =. Vi,
The Miracle of tho Press,