Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-12-16
Facts and E1ancies.

How to get long well-Dig it deep
Labor in vein-Working in coal
mine.
Autumn hues-Cutting wood for
winter. !.
Half and half measures - Pewter
pots.
Saturn is the celestial I" Boss" of the
ring.
Fee simple-Money given to quack
doctor.
Protested bills-Posters on forbidden
walls.
Railroad sleepers-The night patrons
of palace cars.
What nation produces the most mar
riages ?-Faseination.
Hint to mothers-Treat your baby
kindly but not cordially.
People do not die often in healthy
Scotch villages-Only once.
1t is very strange that neat spirits
should lead anyone into untidy habits.
A noted batchelor has fallen into the
meshes of net-It is brunette.
Evergrecns-Merehants who expect
to make money without advertising.
Is duellist paradox because his
first consideration is for his second
Does cows tail resemble a swan 5
breast p Yes; for they both grow
down.
1t is a noteworthy fact that upon
kicking the bucket most people get "a
little pale.
Very naturally the National Police
Convention in St, Louis arrested gem
eral attention.
In too many lamentable instances the
last scene of all this strange, eventful
history is kero-sen
"Ace High" is the latest sensational
drama, and all young ladies know how
effective a sigh sometimes is.
A vile wretch says he don't mind the
nakedness the trees are putting on, but
he notices the corn is shocked.
A good drain on a Heavy
mortgage at 10 per cent. will drain il as
rapidly as anything we know of.
What part of the proscenum of a
theatre is like the wreath of conquer
er? Why the green baize, Of course.
Mummies DO not look as though
they were in hurry, yet it is certain
that at first they must have been
pressed for time.
There's clear sky for future p'ebs'
at West Point. and calow cadets at
Annapolis; they will be no longer
under haze"
Alexis pa is anxious about Alexis,
and has tclegraphed to New York to
ask if ne has made e'er a departure
from Madeira.
There may be (rare) occasions when
it is proper to use slang; for instance.
going" is " from the word go. J"
All the fires in all the cooking stoves
in the country are as nothing compared
with the fire now raging in the Califor.
MIA Coast range.
Mr. Stewards refusal of the king OF
Slams present was polite intimation
that he was abroad merely to see the
elephant, not toaccept one.
The people Of Millett's Corner, KY,
are agitated over the selection of sue
cessor to the postmaster, who, to the
day Of his death, used non>explosive
| Kerosene.
A gentleman of Herts has a favorite
pig, which he has called Maude. His
explanation is that he did so because
she was continually " coming into the
garden"
The North western forest fires have
destroyed immense numbers of valuable
fur>bearers. 1t would have been better
for these fur bearing animals if they
had been further
1t is an absurd association. but while
/ they have patent and powerful beef
condcnsers in Texas, The London Illus
trdted NeaOs has Bullock press Ex-
| tremes meet.
A little girl was told to spell fer
ment, and gives its meaning, with
sentence in which 1t was used. The
following was literally her answer:
Ferment, verb, signifying to work.
love to ierment in the garden"
Among the American song birds now
testing their throats at Florence, with q
view to opera in This country are the
Misses Crane, Of Boston, Stairbird. of
Portland, and Henne, of Cincinnati.
A Fizzing Joke-What is the differ
cnce between Champagne supper at
Cambridge and the Autumn Maneu-
vers? One Is Cam Champagne party,
| the other a sham campaipn nartv