The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1871-12-15

AFFECTING.
The fT'itusviiie Herald, in TN
course of an article upon "cats." in
dulges in the following fight of fan
cy;
Young and happy married couples
who are for the first time about e
becomeinitiatod in the mysteries Of
housekeeping, always start IN with
one cat; in fact, the wife usually
has one given to her by some un,
married lady friend on the eve OF
housekeeping. For few weeks
"pussy" is one of the favorite fix
lures of the freside, and lounges
around in the easy chairs with pink
ribbon around her neck, and dimes
upon the pinions of spring chickens,
favored with an occasional sip OF
nectar and beefsteak gravy, from
the lips Of her mistress. AT night
".Johnn comes home, and after don
ming his dressing gown and slippers,
(presented by his wife on the day OF
her nuptials,) he draws a chair before
the glowing crate and reads aloud
from "Owen Meredith" while ne
holds his wife, and his wife holds the
cat. Happy couple, happy cat,
they are both experiencing the
most blissful part Of their earthly
existence for john will never re-
coive any more dressing gowns nor
slippers, and instead Of gently
smoothing the fur upon tabby's back
month hence, the chances are that
John, upon his arrival home, will
mark his entrance by kicking the
blasted cat across the room, and If
in the excess Of her feline affection,
pussy advanced with proudly arched
back, and catarrh-likc purr, to rub
against Johns shins, it is not unlike.
ly that a moment later she will find
herself on the top Of the stove, OF
soaring through window, if one
chances to be open. i
AS the honeymoon draws to tho
close of the first quarter, the pecu-
liarlties of the cat shine forth with
renewed lustre. At night JOAN is
awakened by his wife, who has
heard burglars down stairs, "They
are after our plated ware that we 4
received at our wedding" says she.
John, slcepily, replies that he wish
es to goodness they would burgleI
some of the many cheap butter
knives and salt-knives that consti-
tuted the largest portion of tho bril-
dial gifts; nevertheless, he seizes a
lamp in one hand, with his snowy
robe futtering in the midnight air,
seeks the precincts Of the kitchen, =
He hears footsteps in the pantry,
and throws the crockery in that di-
reetion all is still; he must have
killed the burglar. lie approaches
the pantry where the corpse lies,
when "Phis- t-t-t-me-roouw" and,
with diaboIical shrek, something
rushes between his neither limbs, he
feels a sharp pain in the calves,
drops the light and falls over into a
pan Of milk on the shelf in front of
him.
His wife up stairs has heard the
encounter, and with only one thought
which is to perish with her hus-
band-Aies shrieking down the stairs.
She stumbles over the body of John,
and her head strikes in a custard pie
which rests on the floor. Thinking
it is the burglar who has returned to
finish his bloody work, John rcvives
sufficient to chuck a few hard blows
into the PROSTATE form of the partner
of his bosom, who speaks, and the
error is discovered. A match is
struck, the lamp relighted, and they
look around. Johns legs look as if
he had been black berrying without
pantaloons, while his wife has a
black eye and her golden ringlets
are rocking with custard. Broken
china and other crockery strew the
floor, and, instead Of gore, he is
weltering in milk. Upon the upper
shelves a pie, half devoured, and
the SHELTON of roast chicken ex-
plain the causes of the trouble,
ut is that cat I" exclaim both.
"You must kill her in the morn
ing, John"
III will, SO help me St. Thomas, y
In the morning pussy is found
singing quietly in her accustomed
corner, John takes her out in the
wood shed and knocks her in the
head with the ak; after which he
takes his breakfast, helps to adjust
an oyster over his wife's eye, and
goes to business. At noon, while at
dinner, he feels familiar sensation
against his limb beneath the table,
and upon examination discovers
the "dead" cat, living and lively,
though with q countenance somewhat
distorted by the occurrence in the
wood shed.
a mother in a toy shop with her