Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1871-12-16
Perkins ha5 the Toothache.
NJ rnE suyrrHrR mNsELr.

When went 10 bed that night, ap.
pretended trouble. Along one jaw, |
the left one, occasionally capered
grumbling sensation. II kept me awake |
an hour or 40 trying to determine wheth- |
er that was all there was OF it, or wheth- |
er there was something to come after,
that would need my wakeful presence TO |
contend against. Thus pondering, | fell
asleep, and forgot all about the troubl" |
| don't know how long slept, but fell
to dreaming had made n match for $50 !
a side to fight cross-cut saw in steam
mill, and was well to work on the job,
when the saw got my head between its
teeth. thought this was favorable
time to wake up, and did so. 1t inme-
diately transpired that might better
have stayed where was, and taken the
chances with the saw.
found myself sitting straight up in
bed, with one hand spasmodically grasp
ing my jaw, and tie other swaying to
aud fro without any apparent cause.
1t was all awful pain. 1t shot round
like dog that bad been cruelty cam
phened. 1t bored like lightning through
the basement of my jaw, darted across
the roOf Of my mouth, and then ran
lengthwise Of my teeth. ii every pang
had been drunken p!ow chased by a
demon across a stump lot, think the
observer would understand my condi-
ton. l could no more get hold Of the
fearful agony that was cavorting around
me, than could pick up Il piece OF wet
soap when III hurry.
Suddenly it stopped. 1t went, giving
me parting kick that fairly made me
howl. Id ..........r
thought was rid of the teethache,
but a grulnbling set III the next morn
ing. 1t was just like the feeling of the
night before and still voice said to
me-"Look out, Perkins"
| l did. l went right away to the den
list who had pulled the teeth OF our fam
lily and knew our peculiarties. There
was an uneasy smell about the Office. 1t
was very suggestive Of trouble, and as |
snutfed II in 1 experienced sinking feel
ing in the pit OF my stomach. looked
AT him, aud sickly smiled. lie was new
er, even on holiday, the handscmest OF
men, but now his appearance was very,
very depressing. He looked like corpse
with a lighted cardle inside of it.
told him what the matter was with
me, how had been up all night with
Kfom-story pain; how my wife had been
thrown ont OF bed by the violence of my
suffering; how
He asked me if / wouldn't sit down
sat down on what was called u hogshead, 4,
but now cut down and newly carpeted.
He held back my head, opened my mouth
and went fishing around inside with
piece of watch spring.
And while he angled, he conversed.
Said he
"You have caught terrible hard
cold" a.
"Ihave."
'It seems the trouble is with one Of
the bicuspids."
OF course | didn't know what a bicus-
plds was, but thought it W ouldn't look
well in the head OF the family being
stuck with so short a word as that; 81 |
asked with some vigor-
(which one?"
"The tumorous," said he.
81 am glad it amt any worse" re-
piled, throwing a sigh OF relief.
'Ihe frontal bone is not seriously at
fected. The submaXillary gland is some
what enlarged; but it does not necessa-
rily follow that parotitis will ensue."
II am proud to hear that" said l, and
l certainly was, although if the parotitis
had ensued it is not at all likely that |
should have minded it much, unless it
was something that would split, and l
was dressed up.
lie kept on talking and angling.
"The esophague isn't loose" he next
remarked.
"Ah," said I, winking at him.
"Oh no, the ligamehts are quite firm.
| might say"
"Did it hurt you?" he asked as cool
and calm as the lid of an ice-cream freez'
er er
"IIurt me! Great Heavens, did you
expect to split me open with watch
spring and not have it hurt me? What
was the matler-did it slip ?"
"Cerlainly not; was simply getting
hold OF the tooth. Just hold your head
back an instant, and l will have 1t ou'
at once"
81 guess we won't try it again." SAID
| with shiver. "The toothache is bad
enough, but it is heaven along side o
that watch spring. You may come III
sometime and pull it out when amt a
home. think could endure the oper
alton if l was off about eight blocks
e Come up when you can.
The Grand Juke is getting to be
: grand joke.
? An oleaginous fact-whale boy anc
6 you will find him tull Of blubber
The only man not spoiled by being
lionized was the prophet Daniel.
$ There are two reasons why some peo
, lple don't mind iheir own business. On
t is that they have 10 business, and tn
4 other is that they have no mind.
!. A clergyman named Fiddle, respect
s. fully declines the degree of ID. d., be
y cause as he said, he really did not wis
r TO be known as the Rev. Fiddle, ID. ID.
It Tom-I saw. lack. what a beautifi