Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-04-30

must ~ anu get mdrrled
/ Before grow grey,
Aud the charms OF my Youth
/ Are all faded away.
FOR when friends have departed,
~ And every ones flown,
| OH who would inhabit
These chambers alone.
Silence is the language of love.
Marrying woman for her beauty is
Ike eating nightingale for its singing.
The nation which produces the most
marriages must be fascination.
Young ladies do not too soon pronounce
your lover duck, lest you should after
ward discover him to be q goose.
Amy Richardson, of Iowa, weighs
three hundred and flfty-two pounds. No
man viii marry her for fear of big Amy.
A bachelor friend suggests that in most
marriages considerable fEsoft SOAP" with
strong I've, is used,- and the whole opera.
ton ends in shaving.
81 saw him kiss your cheekP'--
"FTis true"
90, Modestyr, "'Twas strictly kept:
he thought me asleep; at least knew
He thought thought he thought slept"
A gentleman expressed to lady his
admiration of her toilet She said she
supposed he had been impressed by her
angel sleeves. He answered with effu-
sion: 'sNo; but he'd like to be-"
81 don't WONDER" says a strong mind
ed Sorosister, SHAT when God made
Adam, He went right to work and made
woman to tell him what to do" And
the first thing she told him was to eat
that internal apple.
When lovers in the starlight walk.
How do they entertain, yet talk
Not even of the weather.
How make the time SO swift elapse,
Yet open not their lips? Perhaps
Expressing theBl together.
Said pompous husband, whose wife
had stolen up behind him and given him
kiss: MADAM, l consider such en- act
indecorousln excuse me" said the
wife, 81 didn't know it was youl"
A San Francisco wife petitioned for d.
yorce on the ground that her husband
was a COMPOUNDED foolln The Judge
would not admit the plea, holding that
he was free to confess that every man
who got married was open to just such q
charge.
As worthy divine and broad-thinking
doctor were discussing about the s'Es-
says and Reviews" some doubts were
raised whether Eve was formed from q
''bone," when a poetical lady remarked:
"Well, if Eve was so formed, it must
have been from the bone of contention.
A matrimonial commercial detective
agency has been organized in Cincinnati
| by seven spinsters of mature age, who
will supply information concerning any
young man in town. ANY maiden having
an offer may apply a. the bureau with the
full confidence of :ftaining the exact
mercantile value of the partnership into
which she is invited.
Amelia waved her hand with glee
And, being in playful mood,
She gave the airy toy TO me,
And babe me iirt it if could.
The pleasing toll quick began,
But Jealous pangs my bosom hurt;
MADAM, cannot flint fan,
But, with your leave, rll fan airt."
An Iowa girl, who read Cooperis novels
until she became possessed with the idea
that she could never be happy unless as the
bride of SEED man of the forest, I" found
one last week, married him and went to his
camp on the sylvan stream where he
trapped for muskrats. She only stayed one
night, and came home with black eye,
and had to send out for bottle of hair
restorative. It seems the noble savage
got drunk and punched her in the eye,
while his old squaw went among her hair.
The girl don't want any more Indian, if
she knows her own heart.
A New Orleans judge riding in the cars
recently, from a single glimpse of the
countenance OF q lady by his side, imsg-
ined ne knew her, and ventured the re-
mark that the day was pleasant, she only
saying eyes" "Why do you wear a
yeil?" queried The dispenser of justice.
f.Lest l attract attention" 'It is the
province of gentlemen to admire" re-
piled the gallant man of law. 'eNot
when they are married" ''But Pm not"
''Indeed {" ooh, no; I'm bachelor.
The lady quietly removed her veil, dis
closing to the sstonished magistrate the
face of his mother in law.
A Galveston young man has lost faith in
human nature worse than Grant did. He
courted a girl over two weeks, and her
parents said they wouldn't permit any
such thing, so the young people concluded
to elOpe. He got young man, friend
of his, to take the girl to New Orleans,
where he would meet them and marry
the girl, and go somewhere and enjoy life
sensible. The young proxy took the girl
all right, but before the fsilow that did
the counting arrived he had married her
and gone to keeping house. The de-
ceived chap says you won't catch him
counting up another girl for some one
else, not if he knows it.
WIFE OF TIE PERIOD.
Dear Frederick, am l to blame
That you've such odd opinions,
And fancy wives were only meant
To be their husbands minions?
To stay at home from morn till night,
And shun the worlds enjoyment,
With servants for society,
And sewing for employment?
A splendid creature should be
To pass my time as you'd like
A sweet domestic nondescript,
Insuferably prude-likel
No, thank you, Fred, freely own
The frsilties of a woman;
Quite unashamed, because my tastes
Are social, sir, and humani
Imagine what pleasant fate
The very thought is shockingl
To have no higher aim in life
Than to darn the household stocking
To pay no visits, to attend
No balls, TO keep no carriage,
To give no dinners-wear plain clothes
oh, mOckery Of MARRIAGE
'Twere well, Fred if you heard at once
My strong determination
Regarding the necessity
Ofvaluing my station;
And willingly, tell you, sir,
Your wife has one nasst0n