Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1871-10-11
Wit and Wisdom.
EARLY pearl-A baby's tooth.
NECK or nothiug-A ball-dress.

- Docs beat dentists. They insert
ne natural teeth
~ ~ WHAT key is the hardest to turn ?
IT. Donkey.
of WHEELS go best when they are thor
en- oughly tired
n GREAT souls have wills; feeble ones
he have only wishes.
ad WHY was Eve not afraid of the mea-
. sels2 Because she'd Adam.
OF In Vienna it is forbidden to publish
le matrimonial advertisements in the
~ =. newspapers.
rs The female barber "out west " has
m retired from business on account of the
,d arrival of +" little shaver"
a. WHAT is the difference between coat
IN and baby? The one [ wear, the 9TH
" er | was.
e To poultry keepers there any diff
er ference between hen stealing and cock
it robin?
d BALD-HEADED MEN, who wish to be in
t. style, should paint monograms on the
exposed spot Frescoing is going out
l, of fashion.
:, SOME Harrisburg wag wrote in the
- taxable list, after the Mayors name, and
;, under the head occupation,'' g Has
Il Il dogs caught"
: GENTLEMAN of color, arrested re-
IS Gently, had four chickens in his carpet
IS bag. He said, "De man dat put 'em
dar was no frien' oh mine!"
If A FOOL in high station is like a man
Is on the top of a high monntain-every-
1t thing appears small to him, and he APP
{. pears small to everybody.
rTo Ao4to,. n ,>oroo,, o,,o ,>,,,aL
e know three things-what they are, what
d they think they are, and what they
: want other people to think they are.
! ma, dear, Ada won't take her ply
sic. I've mixed her a dose of and, and
she says l must take some first
I Doctors never do, do they ma, 2
RECToR's daughter (to a Sunday
! school boy. 90, you have an elder
! brother; we'll, how old is he?"
Schoolboy-" Dunno, miss, but he
is just started O swearing"
! A CHINESE who had his nose cut off
during little alteration in San Fran
cisco, had it carefully packed and sent
home, to show his friends one of the
American customs.
THE character of Xantippe is now de-
Tended on the ground that the income
of Socrates, her husband was only four
teen dollars year, and he had habit
of bringing somebody home to dinner
every day.
CUSTOMER I say, this umbrella I
bought last week is all coming to
pieces !" Shopman = g Indeed, sir
you must have been taking it out, and
getting 1t wet, sir, | think ~
AN editor, who doesn't know much
about gardening, suggests that for gar
den-making, a cast-iron back with a
hinge on it, would be an Improvement
on the spinal column, now III use.
SOMEBODY told Jerrold that George
Robbins, the auctioneer, was dead;
"and, of course, :" added the gentle
man, 'Ehis business will go to the dew
H." ooh, then he'll getit again, said
the wit
IT is curious, but true, that if a man
have his left hand amputated his right
hand Immediately becomes his left
hand, and he may always be described
as an off-handed fellow.
A REVEREND gentleman in Pittsfeld
has received from his attached parish
oners a touching and expressive token
of their good wishes in the form of a
charming burial site in a newly estab
lished cemetery.
A LITTLE four-year DID, while comb
ing her fathers hair, one Sunday, was
asked if she saw any white hair?
eyes, was the reply, "it looks just as
if it had been showing in your upper
story.
The Stockton Herald says &C During
the delivery of her speech last night,
Mrs Laura de Force Gordon said: Il
am an American citizen, and over q
wears of age To this crusty and
probably disgusted Benedict cried out:
You bet you are , The effect was
electricalln
A STRANGER meeting a man in the
streets of Boston few days since
roughly accosted him with ''Here, [
The deliberate reply was, ''Well, you
can go, if you won't be gone long"
AN old farmer said to his sons
Boys, don't you ever speckerlate, or
wait for summit to turn up. You
might jest as well go an sit down on
stone in the middle of medder, with a
pail atwixt your legs, an await for
COW to back up to you to be MIXED -
A COUNTRY girl writes to a male ac-
quaintance: "Come over and see me;
we have a new lamp at our house which
we can turn down, down, down, until
there is scarcely bit of light in the
ROOM"
SOMEBODY once asked Tom Corwin if
he had heard certain story of Louis
D. Campbell's WAS it about him
self ~ inquired Mr. Corwin tNo, [
believe not "Well then. ] never
heard it," said Mr.. Corwin, very
gravely.
A CLERGYMAN was hesitating about
the acceptance of small preferment
, It was Just too little to enable him to
live. "Pooh pooh!" said Sidney
Smith, "think of me; l have always
led the life of a razor-in hot water or
in scrape"
ADANBURY FATHER was recently COM
planning of the late hours kept by his
son, when a neighbor suggested what
he thought would be proper way to
to keep from his haunts. ''Oh,' ex-
claimed the afflicted father, C it is not
his aunts, but another woman.
A GENTLEMEN having sent his man
servant to buy some lucifer matches,
said to him when he came back: 81
hope, John, they are better than the
last, which were good for nothing
G Oh, they are excellent - replied
John, 81 have tried every one of
them !"
A CHEESE manufactory at Sprlngville
will send to the Industrial Exhibition
in Buffalo an immense cheese, made
from one days milking 2,200 COWS.
This amount of milk is estimated to
weigh 10000 pounds and as the rule
is one pound of cheese for ten pounds
of milk, it is supposed that the product
will weigh 5000.