Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-04-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEus.

HISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
To PROTECT THE CHEsr-Put a lock
on it.
A Co-orERArrvs MovzxEsr-The
tread mill.
A THING that should take well with the
public-Vaccination.
Why should fisherman be rich. Be.
cause his is all MT profit
HIS forehead extended to the gable
end of his neck" means he was bald.
headed.
The moon furnishes the first instance on
record of trust. She shines with borrowed
light.
JAMES GORDON BENNETT, of the New
York Herald, is said to have fortune of
$1O,O0O,O OO.
THOUGH "old age is honorable" many
people hate to confess it-they will dye
first.
You've women should set good exam
pies, for the young men are always follow
ing them.
DANvILLE, ILL.,, furnishes married girl
whose age is twelve years and six months.
The husband is forty.
xNNOCENCE ID UAc ad ukuUltlld-W ucU
once we have lost it we may never hope
to see it back again.
THE difference between q watch-key
and captain on the lookout for squalls is,
that one winds the watch, the other
watches the wind.
THE chap who took the thread of life
to sew the rent of house has gone and
invented patent point for cross-eyed
needles.
What pleased the Japanese best in our
financial system was General Spinner's
signature. They read it at once, as CLASH
cal Japanese.
A SOUR old bachelor makes the remark
that q girl who is now termed beautiful
blonde" would few years ago have been
called "tow-head."
A SPRINGFIELD, ILL.,, girl sold her lover
to another girl for black silk dress, and
80 managed matters that the couple were
married within month after the bargain
was made.
CovIHaroN, KY, had case lately
where discarded lover murdered the girl
who rejected his suit, whereupOn all the
timid "old maids" met together and
unanimously resolved never to reject an
offer.
A SHARPER in Connecticut is advertis-
ing to give $1,000 to any person who will
adopt an infant two weeks old-adding
that ten cents must be inclosed to pay for
answering letters
MoHAMMED said, "When a man dies,
the people ask, What property has he
bend over his grave, inquire, what good
laoI~ Ioo < thor uov.f bofons1 fhoo ~
AVAILABLE HoRsE.-A wag purchased
q very fine horse. Returning from q ride
few days afterwards, he said he had dis
covered q quality in his animal which
added few pounds to his value" he
ssied at a latoyer." sd. st
A LEAvENwoRTH editor, in quest of
special attractions for his paper, says:
"What we want for this column is person
alities as mean as possible Expense of
law. suits to be betrayed by the writer
funeral expenses by u.s."
ONE T. NJ. Badger, of Brownsville,
Texas, has been candidate for the Legis-
lature thirty nine times, and has never had
the remotest chance of success. He threat
ems to continue running while he lives,
from the mere force of habit. He believes
that to be elected would cause his death,
from the shock Of surprise.
AMONG other new and ingenious meth
DDS of obtaining publicity in Paris, is that
of "the dog advertisement" A booksell-
er, who publishes a guide, sends dogs
about the streets, with small handsome
card attached to their ears, on which Is
printed, Don't travel without my guide"
the name and address being given under
meath. 3i ~ At
THE powerful effects of ice masses,
when started in streams by spring freshets,
has been illustrated in the Penobscot.
Huge cakes were tilted high in air, and
raised one upon another, to height esti-
mated from ten to thirty feet Masses
weighing hundreds Of tons were thrown
upon road adjoining the river, while
other masses ground out great paths for
themselves in the river bed. tts..
THE PArenologscM Journal, in reply to
headed women ?" says: Some women are
partially bald, though it is not very COM
mon" It attributes the difference to
boards, which stakes the hair element
another way, arresting 1t before it can rise
to the top, and also to over-warm and air.
tight hats"
"A OhlCA0O uCtCNtANO AAoAO q UOu q AOW
days ago that Forester was not the MUIR
derer of Nathan, and that he could write
the names of three men, two of whom
would be convicted of the crime within
one year. He wrote three names on
slip Of paper which was enclosed in q
sealed envelope and put in charge Of
third person to await results.
DocToR," said nervous patient, 81
had such disagreeable dreams last night!
l dreamt that my grandfather stood by my
bed for hours, shaking his cane at me-"
"What did you drink before You went to
bedy" "Oh, nothing but half bottle of
Maderia!" "Well, If you had drank the
other half you would doubtless have also
seen your grandmother standing by your
bed, threatening you with q broomstick."
A VERY rare and beautiful medallion Of
Benjamin Franklin, struck in 1771, was
lately presented to the Massachusetts,
Historical Society. tits believed to have
been, the first ever made Of clay in France.
The face Of the old philosopher on this