Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1871-10-07
THE THIRD TIME SUCCEEDS.
BY TIIOS. W. KNOX.

on the same couple three times in one night.
He was wandering through northern Iowa
and southern Minnesota, on II search for
timber lands, and was accompanied by n
back-woods adventurer named Preston.
Near the line between Iowa and Minnesota.
they stopped II few weeks ut the house of II
settler named jenkins. The latter had II
buxom daughter, and was well off, for II
bhck-woodsman, and the situation appeared
decidedly favorable to Preston. So he court
ed the daughter, and was polite to the pa
rents; the result was, that II wedding was
arranged, and all the ~neighbors for ten miles
around were invited.
jenkins was II liberal provider, and we'd
dings were not frequent in his family. lie
laid in half a barrel of whiskey, and his wife
and daughter cooked enough for II small
army, SO that nobody should 90 away hungry.
There was II preacher in the neighborhood,
who had arrived there recently, and he was
invited to unite the pair. lie tied the knot,
and was rewarded by Preston, who made II
mess of the affair by dropping II couple of sill
yer dollars into the punch-bowl while trying
to hand them to the parson. The brides
arm was called into requisition to lift out the
cash, which she did with all the skill of II ma
tive of Long Island fishing for BLUE Points
with IL pair of oyster tongs.
Fol the invited guests, the serious bust
ness of the evening, began with the supper
that followed the wedding ceremony. Pres
ton took his full share of punch and straight
whiskey, before retiring to the bridal cham
Der, which was reached by II ladder through
the floor of the garnet. Mrs. Preston had
been taken there by the bridesmaids half an
hour earlier, and when the couple had disap-
peared there was IL fresh assault upon the
whiskey.
1t leaked out IN the course of the evening,
that the parson was not an ordained preach
er, but only one of those ministerial fiedge-
lings who have been ''liccnsed to exhort.''
When old jenkins heard the rumor, he went
for the eXhorter, and extracted from him the
horrible fact, that he was not really author
lied to unite couples in holy matrimony, but
he had officiated on that occasion because he
thought it was all right, and nobody would
know the difference. jenkins flew around
like a boy with IL humble bee in his coat
sleeve; he kicked the unhappy exhorter out
of doors, and wentup the ladder like IL monk
cy climbing n window blind.
Here you, get up, f. UP!" he shouted;
''you amt married at all. Get up this min
ute. Get up and come down quick
The voice Of Preston was heard to drlwl
out that he wouldn't get up, and that if his
respected father-in-law did not clear out and
mind his business, he would get his nose
busted.
jenkins explained the situation, and the
couple arose. In II few minutes they came
down the ladder looking very sheepish, and
the bride b~lushing like n red wagon. There
was IL Justice of the Peace in the party, and
he performed the ceremony, which, %unfortu-
nately for Preston, took his only remaining
silver dollar. There were more drinks, and
then the couple again assembled the ladder to
their bridal apartments. Preston muttered,
us he climbed the ladder, that if he ever
found that parson he would hurt his face so
that his friends could not identify him with
out Il magnifying glass.
OF course the party down stairs, who were