Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-08-03
WIT AND WISDOM

Mr.. Newman, of Baton Rouge. lac
Grated girls. affections by not marrv-
ing her and she lacerated him with a
bowie knife. He wishes now he had
been faithful to his vows.
"What sustained our Revolutionary
sires during their struggle for Iiberty?5
was what Anew Canaan pedaeooue
asked BOY, and was astonished when
the boy said, ''Their legs, SIR"
''I have this afternoon been n,aacb-
ing to congregation of asses. ,5 said a
copceited young parson. aThen that
was the reason you ce led them below
ed brethren" replied strong minded
lady. -"
An exchange, wanting to compliment
alive stock jaurnal," says it is edited
Dy man whose head i5 full of live
stock.
A cynical old bachelor saws a true wo-
mon IS one with IN eye for diamonds. a
good Judge OF silk. and affected with a
Sngh6 palpltation in the region of the
heaft when Oeca zion requires.
A young miss, in areeitation in eeoo
raphy, informed her astOnished teacher
that .''the mammoth caravan. in Ken
lucky, IS the greatest living curiosity.
and mas been exploded ten miles from
its mouth.n T5l- ~
Speaking of shaving,n said pretty
girl to an obdurate old bachelor. Il
should think that; a pair of handsome
eyes would be the be55 mirror to shave
Dy."1 Yes, many poor fellow has
oeen shaved. by them," the wretch re-
1t Is stated that DisEaeli, if not, as he
expects, reinstalled premier of Ecz-
land, next winter, viii maze tour of
tne world. beginning with country.
The light of match viii frighten a
wolf away, it is said. But .love-math-
es don't always keep tne wolf away
from the door.
There is q lad ofour seauainancawbo
regards hunger and the Christening rod
as about the same thing; both make
the boy holIer.
The ex-rebeI General EwelI is peace
fully far1ningin Tennessee.
There ace 1904 languages spoken in
the word, or, counting Mr.. Thomas
Carlyle's 3,O65. e1eI
Why is your ehambermaid inmor-
tar -She returns to dust every day
without dying.
Why will folks pay so much for rent
when they can get a house-maid for
three or four dollars?
Under the act to jssne more national
bank, circulation to state, not HAVING
their proportions, ONO has received
s760, 900; Indians 8, ,174, 200, and Ken
lucky, s., ,20G, 600. Z:
At a recent wedding in Rhinebeck
as the clergyman reae he'd the part of
tae ceremony, 81 now promise YOU
nsn Peddler in the street shouted,
Bull heads! butl heeds!" to the amuse-
ment OF some and'the CONSERVATION of
0 thers present on The occasion.
Cut west they fell story of a dog
which was greatly interested in music
he ATTENDED a singing school, ana was
subsequently found In the back ward
With a music book in front of him.
heating time with his tale on a tin nan
and bowling sold Hundred.v
A woman's temper may be told by
her hand writing. it IS said, and ner
good taste and .breading may be aseer-
tanned by The Kind OF perfume she uses.
Old gentleman, (affe"tionateIy. )-My
son why do you chew that filthy to-
Oaeeo? Precocious youth, (stifiy.) )-To
get the juice out of it, old eodger.
Ypsilon, Alaska, contains the Oldest
Mason, in the DersoG of Russian, aged
10 years, who claims TO have .eceiYed
the Master Mason's degrees at the age
)f is by special dispensation in a lodge
On the fronlie-s OF Persia 81 years AGO.
The aged gentleman is quite feeble, but
visitors say he still retains a thorough
knowledge Of Masonic work.
NJ. Rochefort has had his troubles in
creased by the elopement of his daugh-
ter, aged 10, with young man of Is.
She was school in Jersey, it is said.
whence the pair went to London and
we're married. The mother of the
bridegroom, however, followed them
'eized Der son and bore him off to the
while the BRIDE was sent back
70 Jersey. aa
1t is said of ssTad'' Lincoln thatwhen
but eight years old he, of his own ae-
ord, signed pledge of total abstin-
ence from all sorts of intoxicating
liquors and TOBACCO, to which he ur-
adhered-refusing all offers
If wiae, even at public dinners and
with politeness, but with
he decisive answer, 81 am pledged to
otal abstinence"
The young Duke Alexis is to bear a
triking resemblance to his imperil
ather, whose favorite son he is. He
peaks six languages fiuently; is a con-
loisseur In meerschaums and cham
)agle; can swear in twelve tongues
'eside his native Russian, and play bill
iards like a professional.
One of The Paris women, on being
old by the officer who seized her, "You
re brave; you have killed two of my
nen, responded wildly: ''NIay the
urse of the Almighty always rest upon
ny soul fog not killing morei / had
,Yo sons at Issy, who were both killed
nd two at Neullly, who shared the
anne fate. NV husband died at this
,arricade, and now do with me what
'ou will.,' The woman was shot.
A Haverhill, Massachusetts,, mar, who
ately lost his pocket book with $50 in
{, has had to console himself with this
nonymous note from the finder: ''I
m a poor man aud my health is poor,
nd it seems to me that you lost that
money TO benefit me; therefore / shall
,orrow it, or most of it. / send you
,ack 81 and the change. You are rich