Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1871-12-21
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.

scFape more acquaintances.
I j What is the difference between hill
and pill ? One is hard to get up and
the other is hard to get down.
Politeness is the poetry of conduct
and like poetry it has many quaaues
let not your poIiteness be too fiorid, |
but of that gentle kind which indicates
refined nature.
The avaricious man is like the barren, |
sandy ground of the desert, which
sucks in all the rain and dews with
greediness, but yields no fruitful herbs
or plants for the benefit of others
IF you would relish your food, Ia
Dor for it; if you would enjoy your
raiment, pay for it before you wear it
if you would sleep soundly, take a
clear conscience to bed with him.
Bring back into the right way him
who has gone estray; correct the er-
rors of mankind where you can, and
inspire them with a love of virtue re-
store the stray sheep to the fold.
To pardon those absurdities in our
selves which we cannot suffer in
Others, is neither better nor worse
than to be more willing to be fools
ourselves than to have others SO.
The Kennebec (Me) Journal has
the following advertisement ''Found
On Saturday, September 80, an hon
est exile of Erin picked up in August
q physicians satchel, containing med
icine enough to fill cemetry. 1t is
at the Journal Office"
Among the school children of GER
tain town was poor little fellow. He
could not tell the number of the house
in which he lived, and was charged
when he next came to school to bring
it. The next time he appeared he was
asked if he brought the number mo,
SIR" said he; it was nailed on the
door so tight that couldn't get it
or"
A married lady, who was in the
habit of spending. most of her time in
the society other neighbors, happened
one day to be suddenly taken i'll and
sent her husband in great haste for a
physician. The husband ran short
distance but soon returned, exclaim
ing. tBiy dear, where shall find yynu
when I get back ?"
A Yankee in Texas, who sat listen
6ng to the stories of Aouisianian in
regard to the marvellous gsowth Of su
a.'-rcane on his plantation. near New
Sr1oons finally said, ''Ihnt ant moth
ino i've seen cane in old New Eng
land MORN a mile l0"g p" nat
kind of'cane was it ?" was tne general
INJURY. "A hurricane" !" answered. Tue
triumphant Yankee.
A Gambler on Mississippi steamer,
watching his opportunity, slipped out
four aces and placed them on his knee
under the table The man next to
him discovered the trick, and, without
being observed, took the aces and put
very poor hand in their place. The
dealer exchanged his hand for what he
supposed to be his aces, and without
looking to see bet largely, and when
called by his opponent, found to his
utter astonishment that he had no
even a single pair. "Gentlemen,
said he. Il shall play no longer
There is cheating around this board.
Joe Rodgers settled down in slack:
Valley" the prettiest little green STRIP
of land to be found amid great waste
of barren mountains and dried-up val
leys. He was building his cabin whel
the Indian chief upon whose ground
he was trespassing suddenly appeare'
and forbade further work-upon tina
spot. Joe reasoned the case. He ez
blamed to the redman that he had CT
his logs, got his cabin partly built. ha
laid off and fenced in piece ofgrount
and he would like to finish the jol
and plant something to eat At tn
end of one moon, if the Indian SAID 81
he would leave. He gave the con
Dlainant some -four, and dismisse
him with the blessing. At the end (
the moon the dark landlord steppe
upon the Threshold of the cabin, ar
calculated, energetically, "Git. =" Jc
reasoned the case with him again. T
had planted, and should he not rear
uNo," was the reply, he must 6
But" said Joe, ''now look hel
III give you a sack of flour and han
and I'll tell YOU what I'll do. Con
out here, and we'll set a peg in t
ground so high (about one foot,) al
when the grass gifts that high, Jr
right around it here, I'll go, sure, b
I'm to stay till it does git that high
The Indian assented to this compT
mise, shouldered his presents, and
parted When he thought it abe
time for the grass to have grown
required height, he appeared again
the cabin door, with the forcible ejat
lation, "Gitp "But," said Joe, u
grass amt growed up yit to whar
said it wuz to be. Come an see"
took his red brother out and point
to the stake. Sure enough the gr'
was only an inch high; but there y
a horse tied to the peg by fifteen f
lariat, who was keeping the gr;
down. The Indian looked at I
grass and then at Joe, and sayil
"White man heap dam rascal !' turu
on his heel, and never bothered /