Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-04-13
Wit and Vucfor.


GILL rap you on your little head, is a
popular Western parody on a much
sung song.
A POET says "Oh, she was fair, but
sorrow came and left its traces there -
| What became of the rest of the rest of
the harness he does not state.
Why is an elephant unlike a tree
Because tree leaves in the spring,
and the elephant leaves when the
menagerie does.
THE Albany Law Journal has this
quip: Why is grant of real estate
more valid if made ON Sunday Because
the better the day, the better the
deed.
Is it wrong to cheat lawyer Z" was
recently very ably discussed by a de
batting society. The conclusion ar
rived at was that it was not wrong, but
impossible.
+" Is it wrong for me to use rouge.'
asked homely spinster of her clergy
man. "What do you use it for ~
Toto make me handsome "Well,
madam, l guess it Will do no harm for
you TO use rouge, for you are homely
enough, even with it.
Buss, kiss; rebus kiss again: pluri-
bus, to kiss irrespective of sex; suribus,
to kiss the hand instead of the lip;
blunderbus to kiss the wrong person,
omnibus, t. kiss all promiscuously
erebus, to liss in the dark.
"My desr," asked John, on observ-
ing new striped hose on his only heir.
"why have you made BARRIERS poles of
Ernest's legsl" Because he's little
shaver" was the reply.
A MOTHER was amused, the other day,
to hear this bit of "argument from
her little boy: Mother, don't see how
Satan could have turned out to be such
bad fellow-there wasn't any devil to
put him up to 1T.
A LooUAcIoUs author, after chatter
ing some time about his piece, to
Sheridan. said: 4" Sir / fear i have
been intr,Iding upon your attention
''Not at all, / assure you," replied
Sheridan; l was thinking of some thing
else
"FELLow trabelers, y said "culled" "
preacher, ''ef | had been eatin, dried
apples for week, an den took to drink
ing for mont L couldn't feel more
swell'd up dan / am dis minnit wild
pride and vanity at seem such full
tendence har dis evenin."
SOME of the questions proposed for
discussion at a meeting of Western
debating club were these; SIS dansin
morali rong z" sis it necessary that
femails shuld reseve thurry literary
educashun 2" "Ort femails to take
part in polytisl" "Dus dress consti-
tute the moralie pasts of wimminl"
ONE evening, in mixed company,
Douglas Jerrold and some other friends
were playing a game to test their
knowledge of Shakespeare. Each per-
son was to name an object, it mattered
not what, TO the guest next to him, and
the latter under pain of forfeit, was
to give some quotation from the poet
to illustrate it. To Jerrold was given
the word "treadmill," and he hardly
hesitated moment before replying, in
the well known language of Lear,
down, thou climbing sorrow,"
OLD Madame Rothschild. mother of
the mighty capitalists, attained the
age of ninety-eight; her wit, which was
remarkable, and her intellectual fact
ulties, which were of no common or
der, were preserved to the end. In her
last illness, when surrounded by her
family, her phiscian being present, she
said, in suppliant tone to the latter
Dear doctor, try to do something for
me-" Madame, what can i do. L
can't make you young again" "No,
doctor, ] don't want to be young again,
but Iwant to continue to grow old. -
In certain Academy number of the
boys were left to look over a difficult
musical lesson, during which cne of the
class succeeded in smuggling In a
quart of pea nuts. just as the last
were being hastily disposed OF, the
preceptor returned.
Did not instruct you to study2"
said he. -
"And haven't wel' returned one of
the others
is eating peanuts studying p"
I'VE had a quartet before you got
back, anyway"
A Subterranean Pond Containing Eye-
less Fish i'm Pennsylvania.