Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1871-09-09
A Cruel Smart Missionary.

full youth the missionary had beer
A travelling professor of mesmcrism
but had abandoned the business tC
90 into the ministry and to preach Il
the heather. Well the elders of hi,
church got up Il Sunday school pic.
mic, it appears, and, when the people
all arrived upon the grounds, it wa,
with pain they perceived that the
provisions had not arrived. A meet
ing of the vestry was called, aud
after 4 brief consultation il was de-
cided that the only thing which
could be done TO meet the cmcrgen,
CIV was to barbecue the minister
The inducemcnt to this course
was all the stronger because Ii,
salary was six months in arrears.
and the church was entirely out Of
funds. So those benighted hcathens
built q huge fire, and Selling the mis-
sionary, they began to strip him and
stick him with forks to see if he was
tender. In order to save himself he
Immediately mcsmerized each mem
Der of the vestry, and, when they
were all fixed, he called up the Sun
day school scholars class by class, and
put them comfortably to sleep
Having them all completely under
his influence, he gave an entire class
to each one of the ycstrymen, and
assured them hat the children were
the most lucious kind of missionary.
Thercupon the hypnotized ycstry i'm
mediately ate mp the somnambulistic
Sunday school and picked the bones
clean. The missionary was q con-
scicntious man in the performance OF
his %saccrdOtal functions; so he read
the funeral service over each class as
it disappeared. This done, he whis-
pered to the magnetized wardGns
that their Acknowledgment were also
succulent p~ropagators Of the gospel
in heather lands %whereupon the UNI
conscious wardens instantanCously
fell upon their colleagues, and in a
few moments nearly the whole vestry
was in the process of assimilation.
There remained now but the two
wardcns, and the missionary, having
prevailed upon the younger and
more vigorous of the two to eat the
other, then seized the slumbering
body of his converted brother, and
stood it en- its head in the fire. The
missionary went home alone from
that distressing picnic, and he went
with a heavy heart. When he got
home they asked where the rest of
the folks we've, and he said they were
up there in the woods having fun in
their own untutored way. And
then he packed his trunk and got
over the back fence all of a sudden,
and borrowed a canoe, and padded
away to some SUMMER cline where
the heathGn rage less furiously, and
where the popular appetite for warm
clergyman is not so intensely vivid.
a Machine for Engraving 10y Elec-
trictricity has been recently invented
by a Partisan, which is a most ingeni-
Gus piece of workmanship. 1t con-
sists essentially of two or more disks
with their faces in the same vertical
and their axes in the same horizontal
plane. One ofthese disks carries the
pattern to be copied, while the others
are designed to receive the engraving
The craving tools are armed
with diamond points, and are govern
ed in their movements by the power
of electro magnetism. Each one Of
the implements is, in fact, connected
with the armature Of an electro mag
net, which, when in action, prevents
the tool from touching the plate, but
which releases 1t when the current is
broken, permitting the grayer to take
the metal. These alterations Of move
ment are determined by the pattern
plate on which a conducting point is
constantly resting. Both the pattern
plate and the platet to be engraved are
by this arrangement, in constant re-
volutiOn with equal angular velocities
while, at the same time, the tracer
and the graver approach very gradu-
ally and uniformly toward their CEN
tiers of motion. The combination of
these effects causes the tracer to des-
cribe a spiral Of very close i%nvoIutions
Oh the surface of the plate on which it
rests. During the flow of the e%lectri-
city, and tracer and the pattern-plate
form a part Of the circuit. The cur
rent will therefore, be broken by any
non-conducting surface i~nterposed be-
tween them. Accordingly, if Il design
be drawn upon the pattern-plate in
non-conducting ink, the graver will