Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-04-20
ONE OF GOGGS'S STORIES.
BY ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS.

it had been anybody but Googs he would
not have been called again As it was he
came out of his brown study half a second
too late; he had lost his place and bis wits
together, by the time that the Professor
said
Translater'
"I-would-eat," said Goggs; and
stopped.
@f-wsuld-eat.' said Goggs again and
stuck.
What would Goggs have eaten? Nobody
knew much better than Goggs. The fell
lows all turned TO the textbooks, while
Goggs stopped and stuck. He had stopped
in the middle of an enlivening little story,
which ran something like this -
A gentleman tGoggs thinks it was Da-
rius) asked another gentleman (Goggs
thinks that must have been a barbarian) a
couple of dozen centuries more or less
ago, when people were not as particular
about their diet as they are now, what in
Queen mt he would take to eat his father
and mother? Said the dutiful son, 81
would not eat my parents for anything"
Said Goggs-only Goggs could have said
it!-said Goggs, looking up into the PROBES
sor's face with cheerful confidence
aSousd eat my parents for nothing,
sir p
"That's sufficient, sir" said the Pro-
fessor.
In half an hour that story was all over
college. Everybody agreed that it was
the best thing of the term. Goggs him.
self was inclined to think so, sitting rue
fully in his room tipping back in his chair
30 think about it after dinner.
Goggs was r,Ieful for more reasons than
one, In fact, his Greek blunder was the
least of his troubles-it was too funny to
trouble him very much. Indeed, he had
only made it ia the helpless despair Of a
far more appalling grief.
Next week was Calculus Examination.
Whether he should fall downstairs and
break his arm; whether he should sit
the city hospital in hopes of smallpox
ease to which he might lawfully and be-
nevslently expose himself; whether he
should take prussic acid or have the cramp
in swimming; how it would answer to
commit some petty theft, and so get safely
into the lookup till Examination week
was over; if his sister would only have
typhoid fever, and telegraph for him to
come on! What would happen if he
should "bar out for few days, in the
coal closet, with hole in the door for his
chum to stick his dinner through; what
would be the effect of losing his property
that week (he had fifty dollars in the
Graad Smash Railroad bonds), and of
being summoned suddenly to New York to
look after it how it would strike the Pro-
fossors impossible fancy if he should go
TO sleep with his feet in a pail of cold
water some night, and have diptheria.
These, and many other equally ingenious
reflections had filed the soul Of Goggs,
when the Greek Professor put to him that
delicate question about his parents.
These, and many even sadder reflections
filed the soul of Goggs, sitting alone in
his room, tipping back in his chair, after
dinner.
A big brown boy, who headed the wrong
end of his class, came in while Goggs was
sitting alone.
"Hilloa!" said he.
60, it's you, is it?" said Goggs, more
surprised than pleased; the brown boy
was not in his "set in fact, had never
been in his room before. :" It's you, is it !?
Well! Sit down, then"
The brown boy sat down then, without
waiting for more gracious invitation.
Hilloal" said he, again.
"Well?" said Goggs, gloomily.
Met Sky blue up Chapel to-day" said
"She was got up gorgeous, tell you"
"Ah,' said Goggs more gloomily than
ever. He did not like this. 1t did not
strike his fancy to talk "Sky- blue" with
this Peters boy "Sky-blue" was such a
wee, white, soft, dainty little lady and
Peters was SO big and brown. So he only
said
"Ah,"
"Hilloa! said Peters again, when he
found that he could do nothing with "Sky
blue"
"Well!" said Goggs again.
"Whst would you give to get grab at
those Calculus papers this week?"
I'D give-fifty dollars!" said Goggs
thinking of his railroad bond. He brought
his chair down hard on its four legs.
"Would you, thought" said Peters,
smiling peculiarly. "Just put your name
down here on this list-in cipher if you
Nike it's safe enough. Put yourself down
for fifty dollars and III warrant you your
papers in three daysg"
"What's your security" said Goggs,
meditatively winking at the brown boy.
"You may see for yourself" said Peters |;
stake this list and look it over"
The paper which Peters put into GOgg's
hand was curious and valuable specimen
Of certain phases of that Severe collegiate
education, of which the masculine mind
alone is considered capable.
Take this for your comfort, half-educated
girls! There are ounces in college as
we'll as out of it, and many young fellow
does not know as much as you do, when
he pockets his diploma, or applies for his
A. Id.
The paper which Peters put into
doggs' hand was subscription list Tin
cipher) amounting to three hundred dol
lars collected for the commendable object
of borrowing" as Peters said, the exam
nation papers prepared by the Faculty
for the students in Calculus These pa
pers, you understand, appointed to each
man his part; and to be possessed of them
beforehand, was to insure yourself, by q
little examining" safe, glib, and easy
passage over the horrible whirlpool of
Examination.
"But three hundred"
"And fifty dollars" interrupted the
brown boy, will just do it. !"
do what ?" said Goggs, with his hand
at his forehead at dhtraught angle. 81
don't see it. Would you bride the Pro-
lessor? Or hire clairvoyant"
Goo here said Petpra ahrunt1v draw