Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1871-01-31
The Rooster-Pecked Wife.
A Blood-curdling Drama from the Woman
Journal


Blood-curdling Drama from the Woman
Journal.
SCENE FIRST.
Mrs. Biddy Chanticleer scratches for he
breakfast. 0. Chanticleer, Esq, from thu
top rail of the barn fence becomes cognizan
Of the fact, and struts with dignity towards hi
little spouse.
0. c., Esq -sMorning, madam quite en-
joying yourself, madam. Of course, you are
not aware Of the fact that have been up fol
more than an hour, and have not eaten 8
madam? Gives her pointed salute on the
ankle. Where are your domestic qualities
madam? lmprints mark of affection or
the top of her head Where wasmyour smile
OF welcome when you saw me getting off the
fence? l watched you, madam Where was
your tender female soliciude when you beheld
me looking weekly for want of little noursh-
ment? Where, repeat, is my breakfast
Cock-a-doodle do -
Biddy lmeekly)-"H Have a worm, dear?
0. G. Esq. (solemnly)-"I will -
SCENE SECOND.
Mrs. Biddy Chanticleer lays her first egg,
and has invited Two or three female friends to
help cackle. 10. G. Esq, being absent.
Mrs. Biddy-"Out, cut, cut, cut cut-a-a-a !
cut, cut, cut-a-a cut II
Mrs. Partlett-'Qua, qua, qua, cut-a-c cut -
Mrs. Penfeather- --"Cluck. cluck, qua, qua.
qua, cut, cuta-a-a acutp' lis interrupted by
/ the sudden appearance OF D. .. Esq, who has
just returned from a stag party
| o. G. sq-"Cock- a. aood!e-do! now, my
| patience, be vouohsafed me to ask Of you mad
am, what does all this mean? Here am | re-
| turning, carewsra and exhausted, from the ex-
citements and temptations of delusiye wo1 Id,
expecting to find repose and peace in the quiet
of the domestic nest instead of which dis
cover you in the midst of riot and dissipation
Madam, insult not my penetration by denying
it-I affirm that you are having party"
Mrs. Biddy, lpprehensively) Mot at all,
my dear; that is, my friends were going by
and stopped in quite accidentally, and so-for
you see my dear, I've laid an egg cut, cut,
cut cut, cut-a-a-a-that is, at least-yes sir,
we've laid an eeg!"
| Three female neighb)rs simultaneously
| Gut, cut. cut, cut, cut-a- a-a- a-cut -
0. 9. Esq, tmajestieally - Peace, hens
| Madam, what does all this cacklipg folly
mean?
| [Exeunt hens, in indig nation
Mrs. g., it has become necessary, at
| this stage OF our matrimonial career, that |
state In mild but unmistak able terms, my opin-
ions regarding the appropriate sphere aud du-
| ties of Henhood.
First -Self-devotion. 1t has been the de-
cison of all Rooster kind for ages, and there
| fore cannot be denied, that the crowning vir-
| tue Of the Hen character, is disinterestedness
A true Hen should be patient, elf-iorgetful,
obedient, tenderly solictous for her husband s
little wants, delighting wholly and solely in the
| graceful and pleasant duties that cluster round
| the domestic nest. On the contrary, [ find
you thinking only how to crafty your own self
ish tastes and desires, instead of displaying las
IL,
| of loneliness and melancholy at your husband 8
absence | return from visit of nearly twelve
hours, and fad you literally rejoicing! Mad
am, ask you. is this true Henhood?
| Second retiring position, delicate
| shrinking frou contact With the coarse and un-
sympathzlug world, an exclusive indifference
| to all without the sacred circle of the domestic
nest. On the contrary, | find you gadding
among the other hens of the yard, making APP
| pointments and sending Invitations. Again, /
ask you madam, is this tt ae Henhood?
Third-Freedom from curiosity. A true
| Hen never evinces the slightest interest in the
affairs Of her neghbor, scarcely in her own !;
| she never inquiries concerning the whereabouts
of her husband, being perfectly assured that,
wherever he be, and however appearances at
| the time may seem to tell against him, he is
ever acting with view to the welfare of the
| domestic nest. On the contrary, what do
| find to be the truth in regard to yoursef Not
| Rooster crows within a halt mile of the yard
but-you are able to name him; not Hen lays
| an egg but you begin to cackle
Mrs Biddy (sneekly)-"I'v We laid an egg
cut, cut cut, cuta-a-a! No, mean-yes,
| sir. we We laid an egg u
| O. G. Esq, with solemn animation -"Y on
haveSlaid an egg! And pray, where is the
thing?' Walks briskly to the nest, and
takes microscopic view Of the object
| Biddy-"Cut, cut, cut mean will i. do
sir 2"
! O. c.. Ed -'Humph we'll, yes, very fair,
considering though, nov | look more closely,
perceive that 1t is not precisely shaped too
short. madam, quite too short; not well finish
ed of by any means. Aud what do you mean,
NJ adam, by having the hing SO much larger
at one e1d than the other? Where |. ask, is
your idea of symmetry? Zounds, madam, il
this is the best you can d. il. this department,
| shall lay the next myself!
Mrs. Bddy with her claw in her eye)-
''Please, couldn't help it, didn't mean to- y
O. G Esq (mollifed) Wv we'll, don't
fret your gizzard. YOUR no chicken, madam
to be SO sensitive about trihe. Ouly remem.
Der my advise in future, and above all, recol
lect that the crowning virtue of Henhood il
disinterestedness.
Mrs. Biddy lmeekly) Have worm
dear?"
O. G. E,q (solemnly)-''I will"
/ SCENE THIRD.
| Mrs. Biddy G. has been sitting for three
weeks. o g. Esq, appears in the distance
parting with one of lis numerous femal.
friends. The tones OF his voice fall family OF
Biddy's ear:
&C. Esq.-"And now, sweetest of Hens
farewell And may all the stars of HEAVIER
/ and all the saints of tie barn-yard meet t,
register the day when your smile first dawne,
upon my dreary life, and made me the Lappi
est of BOOSTERS; farewelll
O G. E.q wends his homeward way.
Good evening, Jack, monstrous fine Hel
| that. just been parting from her Or ma
be you did not notice her points Quite fon,
of me, too, / assure you Still in tears. yo
will observe-abeml ock-a-doodle-do
O. O. E>q, reaches the domestic nest
Mrs. Biddy (feebly) y)-'.Ohl I'm SO glad t
have some body to speak to! / haven't steI
ped off the nest, nor seen creature since sur
rise. \ How do you do, my dear? Anythin
/ new going on in the yard? l8