The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1871-09-16
Matrimonial Advertising.

A lady, who had no idea of looking for a
husband, but with large proclivities for
mischief and for fun, put a matrimonial
advertisement in the New York Herald,
with directions for answers to be sent to
certain signature at the Broadway post
office. AS tho advertisement appealed to
the practical appreciation, by assuming
neat little fortune, in addition to an agree
able person, the seed of such temptation
could not we'll fall idly upon such fertile
bottom as is offered by the city of New
York. On the first day that succeeded the
advertisement, the lady received seventeen
replies; on the second day, thirty two; and
on the third, seventy-two, an extent and
ardor of appreciation for her vaguely
described personal attractions which even
she was not prepared to expect.
Bewildered by the warm alteration and
entreaty which issued from this hymeneal
magazine, the lady called to her aid five
ladies as mischievous as herself. One pair
of hands and one mind were, of course,
quite unequal to the task of answering all,
SO the billet doar were divided equally
among them, and each was to make an
appointment with the writers on the fol-
lowing Saturday afternoon at four o'clock,
on the lower side of the upstairs saloon of
certain popular restaurant on Broadway.
Each of the ladies, moreover, who took the
task in charge, chose a different colored
paper for replies. Finally it was agreed
that the whole six should be present at the
interview, and that each should wear the
exact costume prescribed for the inamorata
whom the signing SWANS would be there to
see.
| On the other hand, the gentlemen were
directed to appear in all the varieties of
attire and position which female ingenuity
and mischief could devise. One was re-
quested to wear a blue coat and brass but
| tons; another to have his hair parted in
the middle; one was to be eating plate of
pork and beans, which, said the ingenious
writer who dictated it, "you can scarcely
expect will be called for by anybody else."
Others were to be partaking of various
NiShSo3 Va w paw CiiCASOlSCc III SuCu pOS-
lures as were directed by the writer.
At four o'clock on the prescribed Satur-
day afternoon, every chair, at every table
on the lower side of the up stairs saloon,
was filled with sleek-looking and highly
perfumed Leanders, all gazing into each
others face, and each secretly cursing the
luck which wedged him so closely out of
the killing position and display, which he
had been meditating ever since he got his
note. And how the dishes smoked, and
how the wondering walters flew, even the
perplexed landlord, amazed at this miracu-
lous flow of business, was obliged to drop
entire force of his entire establishment, to
meet the clamorous if not threatening
demands Of gentlemen who feared they
might not get their telegraphing plates of
duck or mess of pork and beans in time.-
At length the clash of sheen and kick of
stiff skirts was heard coming up the stairs
one minute after the hour, and an inamo
rata appeared, dressed in dark green, with
NSSP AoA SoPS3 anu auuudtsht ldCC.
She was wafered on the back of the head
with an ininitessimal bonnet, and carried
in her hand the magic rift of cambria whose
Shakespearean strawberries intimated that
she was she. When she appeared the SEN
sation was UNIVERSAL the gentleman with
the buff vest threw open his coat to the
extreme; the gentleman in the "blue''
and the bright buttons, buttoned his coat
entirely to the chin; the gentleman with
the pork and beans became vociferous for
more beans; while those who had duck,
etc., were equally clamarous in complain
ing of the undue fulfilment of their orders.
Never was there such clamor heard in
that usually well regulated up stairs saloon
before, and by the by, never subsidized more
suddenly than when new brush of skirts
was heard coming up the stairs. All the
Lotharios were once more in position, when
10! another Coraelia, in all respects the
reflex of the first, appeared bearing the
film of Strawberries, as challenge in her
hand, and sweeping with it like Juno, to
a seat near the location of the first
1t is needless to say that sensation was
now extreme. Some of the gentlemen who
were to part their hair in the middle began.
however, to look less furiously at other
gentlemen who had their hair in the same
way, as much as to say, "Wel, there is
one for each of us, anyhow" But most of
the party seemed more troubled than before.
A pause of some minutes succeeded before
any new appearance took place, during
which time the Lotharios were engaged in
displaying their points to the best advant-
age; and some, more ardent than the rest,
pulled out the variously colored notes they
them or laid them conspicuously on the
table.
"There's one of my fellows with the
blue note" said mystery number one, over
her spoonful of soup, to mystery number
two.
"There's one of NINE" said Cordelia
the second; she's got pink note.''
"What do you think of Augustus there,
| WITH INC PORK duu UcdIlS WHO Is SO peu-
sively leaning his cheek upon his hand ?"
said myth the first, but before the answer
could be given, apparitions three and four
appeared and hard upon their heels came
five and six.
There was now perfect CONSERVATION on
the lower side of the up stairs saloon of
the fashionable restaurant in Broadway
The man of tilt fell backward and was shot
under the table; there was a general feel
ing after hats, and gathering up of loose
handkerchiefs and canes. All at once,
after one of those short, sudden panics,
which convey electric knowledge to the
human mind, general stampede took
place, and the whole party, with more or
less dignny-according to the natures and
shapes they had assumed-made for the
stairs and decended out of sight.
1t was several minutes before they could
! hand in their checks and pay their score,