The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-02-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Miss Lillian S. Edgarton, who is called
''The Pearl Of the Platsorus." asked her cenun-
drum, whittier are We drifting?' We are
drifting 20 diverse divorce place.
Drift 70 Chicago, you'll find the haven.
Ali our exchanges are killing off the peaches
in their respective localities. They always do 1t
about this time of year. In few weeks tney
will all discover that 'ar old farmer VINO has
examined IKE buds says the peaches are not
killed" They will then sing that tune, and per-
haps in a week or two relapse viii follow, and
then no one can tell what will bscome OF the
peaches.
The Earlville GG=ctte is publishing the story
of How Sharp Snatties got his Capital and
Wife" If Sharp Snatiies as long about it rs
the Gazs1te has been in getting through with the
story, he must have been ready to die with old
age ere he Succeeded in either of those desirable
achievements.
Several newspapers of the country having per.
petrsted jokes on the travels and exploits of
".S.c Transit" whom "Nihl Frt," and noctes head
the Yale C0urant reports as follows:
0 uaHm scull>, You dannum seull,. He
didn't either. Sc TautsN drove a tn p0ne Mnaden
turn0 Yer from the eastward He is visiting his
ante Mrs. Dc lel7u, in this city, aud will stay
till Ortem. DE-. Dignos the 7erris likewise ct
super with us last evening when he eth beta pi
The pugilist also Gun with him. He Mmda man
badly in the street. He cues nos of, and ,lOctem
fat n'ad founder. How is that fer Latin?
western p:per notced the opening of new
whiskey store, and next day apologized for the
brevlty of its local columns, because "the re.
porter was ILL lie had assisted at the opening
One of our contemporaries has been shown an
old newspaper published in 1919, and from ap.
pearances made up its own next issus mostly
from t.-D0n Rjce's Paper
The telegraph makes a. bid work with the
names of French generals as the Germans do
with the generals themselves. In fact those
generals are having bad spell of it all around.
The Chicago Republican is out against tho Gus.
tom of general kissing of bride at wedding,
and calls it "relc of barbtrisra." What bride
has refused to let the editor use her as relic?
A family, while passing through Possy Co.,
Ind, on their way wes5 stopped vt u small cross
road town, in front of store, and inQ uired of
youaE N Il, Ii any emirrnts had passed that
way, and not knowing the definition Of the term
said, "BeCkon not afterwards entering the
store, saw Squire Jones the handsomest man in
town and asked him what emigrant was, was
satisfactorily informed it WIS "A small animal,
cross between the fox and the coon, and mighty
hard on corn.-Er
Too much study has driven a luckless Spring
field Mass darkey to insanity. A sad warn
ing.-Er.
He had been in jail four years for burglary,
and was studying how to get ou perhaps.
The Lscon Lome J9urnN gets zone il" on
another editor thu.ly:
The editor Of the Mt.toon Jo,n.An!, in speak.
Ing OF the preparations OF the Mi,lerite. to :" 70
up on the llth of February, says he don't want
to 90 even to heaven in II nightgown this cold
weather. Never mind theclothes, Ton ; it will
DO warm enough where you go.
A female suffrage act has been Lost in the Da.
kota legislature by vote Of to 2, whish is
42-itous calamity quite uuex pec,ed by the
ladies of the territory.
A leading advertisement in an Alaska paper
begins thus: Hepbo OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
kiky. A Texas paper interprets it a. proposal
to sell the north pole to Brother Jonathan.
There is paper printed in the Cherokee ma
ton in the native d., r. An Arkansas editor
says, ut is the worst specimen of picked tongue
we eyer saw. 1t look, as though a nitro.sl cor.
inc explosion had occurred in type foundry"
The rAiseroscepe reveals tho fact that speck
OF potato rot, the size Of pin head, contain 600
ferooious little animals biting and clawing each
other savagely.-Er.
Out OF respect for these little beats, We never
eat potatoes that have the rot, especially the
rotten part.