Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1871-12-23
Perkins has the Toothsche.


When went TO bed last night | spprehen-
ded trouble. Along one jaw, the left one, oc-
casionally cspercd a grumbling sensation. II
kept me awake an hour or so trying to detcr-
mine whether that was all Of il, or whether
there was something to come after that which
would need my wakeful presence to contend
against Thus pondering, fell asleep, and
4 forgot sl about the trouble ] don't know
how long slept, but FELL to dreaming | had
made match for $5s side to fsht cross
cut saw in steam mill, and was well to work
on the job when the saw got my head between
its teeth thought this was favorable time
to wake up, and | did so. 1t immediately
/ transpired that I might better have stayed
where was, and take The chances with the
saw.
fouEd myself sitting straight up in bel,
with one hand spssmodicaly grssping my jaw,
and the other swsyng to and fro without any
apparent cause. II was an awful pain. j.
bored lik. lightning through the basement OF
my jaw, dsrted actos, the roof Of my mouth.
and then ran lehgthwiss Of my teeth II every
psng had been drunken plow across stump
lot, think the observer would understand my
condition. | could no more get hold OF the
fearful agony that was cavorting around in me
than could pick up piece Of wetsoap when
in great hurry.
Suddenly it stopped. It went, giving me
parting kick that fairly made me howl.
thought was rid OF the tootbacbe, but
a grumbling set in next morning. 1t was just
like the feeling of the night before and still
voice said to me, Look cut, Perkins"
did. went right away to the dentist
who has pulled the teeth Of our family and
knew our peculiarities. There was an uneasy
smell about his Office il was very suggestive
OF trouble, and IS snuffed il in experienced
sinking feeling in the region Of my stomach.
| looked at him and sickly smiled. lie was
never, even on holiday, the handsomsst OF
men but now his appearance was very, very
depressing lie looked ike corps with q
lighted candle inside ofi.
/ told him what was tho matter with the
how bad been up all night with four story
pain how my wife had been thrown out Of
bed by the violence Of my suffering how
He asked me il wouldn't sit down. sat
down on what was once hogs.head but now
cut down and newly carpeted. He held back
my head, opened my mouth. and went to fish
ing around inside with a piece Of watch spring
And while he angled lie converssd. Said
he
You hive caught a terrible hard cold'
al have"
at seems the trouble is with one Of Tho
bicuspids."
OF course siidn't know what bicuspid
was hut thought it wouldn't look well in tho
head Of the family being stuck with so short
word as that. so asked with some vigor;
(Which one ?"
"The humorous one" said be.
al am glsd liz amt any worse" replied
with sigh Of relief.
"The frontal bone IS not seriously affected !;
the submaxilsry gland is somewhat enlarged,
but it does not necessarily follow tbst paro-
titus will ensue."
II am proud to hear that" said (which I
certainly was although il the parotitus had
cnsued it is not at all likely that I should
have minded il much unless it was something
that would spoil as was dressed up in my
best.
He kept on talking and angling.
1.-THE nsophagus amt loose" he remarked.
"Ah I" ,aia 7, winting at him.
"Ob, no, the ligsments are quite firm. |
might say"
"Did it hurt your" he asked as cool and
calm as the lid ola ice cream freezer
Hurt me Great Heavens Did you cx-
pcct to split me open with watch spring and
not hurt me9 What was the rnattsr-did you
slip7
Certainly not" be said; I ws'jnst getting
hold Of the tooth. just hold your head back
an instant, and will have II cut ct once
"I guess won't try II again. said with
6 shivor. "Thc toothschc is bad enough but
it is heaven alongside Of that watch spring
You may come up some time, and pull il out
whsn Amt at homo. think could endure
the operation il was Of about eight blocks
Come up when you can"
A Bee Battle.