Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1871-04-07
TEsRORI. rs. PRsCTICE.

Rev. Elijah Kellogg, in his capital story,
"The Spark of Genius" now being pub
lshed in Oliver optics Magazine, relates
this funny incident, and vouches for its
truth -
The extent to which theory often fails in
practice, is furnished by venerated pro-
fessor, a most distinguished mathematician,
whose works are still used as textbooks in
many of our institutions, and which oc-
CURED within the compass of our expert
ence.
lie went to Bethel on his return he spent
the Sabbath at Lewiston. Monday morn
ing he was told the horse was sick. Never
theless, he started. The horse went a few
rods, fell down and broke both thills. He
then sent his wife home, and also sent
to Brunswick for another horse and car
| rlage to take him and the broken chaise
home.
When the driver came they lashed the
two vehicles together, and started. All
went well till they came to the first long,
| steep hill between Lexington and Bruns-
wick. On its summit they held a consul
taton. The professor had an exaggerated
idea of his strength, and said;
"Mr. Chandler, it is too much for the
horse to hold these two carriages on this
steep descent; take the horse out, will get
into the shafts
Professor" replied Mr.. Chandler, "the
breeching is strong, and so is the arm
| girt"
"But the horse, Mr.. Chandler; it is too
much for the horse. Besides being strong
er, l know how to take advantage of the
| descent, and manage it better than the
horse"
"If the horse can't hold it, you can't
"Do you, sir, intend to place me, in point
| of intelligence, and knowledge of mechan-
ical force, below a horse? l have made
mathematics the study of lifetime"
al have no intention of being disrespect-
full, sir; but l know that horse under
stands his own business--which is hand
ling load on hill-better than all the
professors in the United States. was sent
up here by my employer, who contides in
me, to take care of his property. If you
will take the business out of my hands, and
be horse yourself, you must be answerable
for the consequences"
The professor had habit, when little
excited of giving a twitch at the lapel OF
his coat with his right hand.
"I,' he replied, with a most emphatic
twitch, "assume all responsibility"
The driver, in reality nothing loath TO
witness the operation, took out the horse
and held him by the bride; and the pro-
fessor, getting into the shafts, took hold of
them at the ends. The forward carriage
was just descending the hill, and the hind
or one little over the summit, when the
professor trod upon a rolling stone, which
caused him to plunge forward, and increas-
ed the velocity of his load so much that he
was obliged to walk faster than he desired
and exchange the slanting position-witl
his shoulders thrown well back and his fee
braced--which he had at first adopted for
perpendicular one. At length he was push
ed into a run the carriages were going a
fearful rate.
At the bottom of the hill was brook ; OF
each side, precipitous banks. The profes
sor was between Scylla and Charybdis, go
ing nine feet at leap. In order to craml
the forward wheel, he turned suddenly tC
| the right. Inc SnallS OF lne lOfWuGu car
rage went two feet into the bank, breaking
both of them short oil; the lashings of thu
hinder one slipped; it ran into the forward
one, breaking the fender; and both vehicles
turned over down hill, with a tremendous
crash, the learned gentleman describing
parabola-one of his iavorite figures-anC
landing some rods away. He rose from th
earth dirtier and wiser man; knees skin
, ned, pants torn, piece of skin knocked of
his forehead, and his best hat Hat as pan
cake underneath the hind carriage; and
looking around, he exclaimed:
SIS it possible l could have been so mucl
f deceived by the momentum? 1t was pro
+ digiousw
r ~ don't know anything about moment
rm," replied Chandler, "but l know some
. thing about horses. l know II makes
mighty difference about holding back
load on steep hill whether horse Ina
two legs or four, and whether he weigh
175 or 1900 pounds"
= 1t cost the professor $3.50 to ascertai
how much horsepower he represented.