South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-08-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

III, PAT persons IN 1871.
WHtLE a California wasp and tarantula
were fighting, a toad swallowed both and
soon after expired in great pain I'D
TILE Washington Life Insurance Com
! psny is increasing more than two thou
sand dollars per day, above all losses and
expenses. ~ -......,f
i If you want to eat just such a pudding
j as your mother made when you were a
boy, you must somehow revive a boys.
! appetite and palate. 1-s71 ~-.i .f-i
JOSH BILLINGS says: kdFersity has the
same effekt on man that severe training
4 duz on the pugilist-it reduces him tew
his fighting weight. .s-'a =
a TrTUsvILLE oil prince ground lame
soldiers hsnd organ and collected stamps
the other night, realizing $50 for the vet
eran in short time. ..te --. ....
DIR. RUSSELL says the reason why Sun
day is the hottest day of the week is be-
cause people have nothing else to do but
scrutinize the weather. H: t.-s.
How strange that my wife and mother
i should oppose life insurance. Death
comesl A husband and father fallsl Then
| poverty comes Insure in the Mutual Life,
of. Chicago. --..... ~.
The pastor of the Baptist Church in
| Cambridge, Mo-, baptized two young
ladies the other day, and then married one
ofthem right there in the church, before
she had time to get dry. .-.... l...
."IFEAR," said country minister to his
! flock, "when / explained to you in my
last charity sermon that philanthropby
| was the love of our species, you must have
misunderstood me to say specie, which may
I account for the smsllness of the cOllec-
tion. You will prove, l hope, by your
present contribution that you are no
longer laboring under the same mistake"
4 A RELIGIOUS paper prints the following
| paragraph: at is asked of all newspa-
pers, desiring the spread of truth and the
! destruction of error, that they publish this
request and prayer to Almighty Power
that on the three first Sunday nights in
October, 1871, there shall appear in the
heavens distinct light in the shape of
great cross;' and, Furthermore, all good
people are urged to pray earnestly for this
miraculous sign -. e. gao. -.... e
A FEW days since gentleman entered
a Photographic saloon in Boston, and ask
| ed the proprietor if it was a good day for
taking pictures The proprietor looked
carelessly up and replied, that it was.
"Well," remarked the visitor, "look at
me and see if you think you could get
likeness of me" The artist this time took
a good square look, and in few moments
studied out the features of his father,
whom he had not seen for many years.
A New BRITAIN pastor was a bit care
less the other day, in his selections Of the
to-be- omitted portions of the good old
hymn, in which occur these lines:
''Shall such worthless worm asI
Be found at thy right handi"
The next stanza was omitted, and the choir
commenced singing:
"Prevent 1t, prevent it by Thy grace"
Those who were not using their hymn
books went home with the impression that
there must have been some mistake
An English writer has been engaged
in estimating the amount of gold in the
world in bulk. He says it could-melted
| in lump-be contained IN cellar twenty
four feet square by sixteen feet in depth
SAYS, too, that all the boosted wealth taken
| from The gold mines of California and
Australia could be melted and put into an
| iron safe nine feet high and nine feet square.
| A small lump indeed, to cause as much
labor and sacrifice as it has to obtain it.
THE Montello, (Wis) Express says
Michael Groulkie was walking through
his corn patch one day recently, and found
a large overgrown ear, and supposing it to
be false OF smut ear, plucked it and
stripped off the husks, when he found a
perfect ear of corn, covered with kernels,
of the size and shape of human hand.
The wrist and palm are almost perfect,
with thumb and fingers in their proper
places for left hand, all of appropriate
length, and all properly adjusted, only
there are six fingers instead OF four, and
two of them are grown together
Nor many miles from Boston certain
| farmer owned a contrary horse. While
driving home with load OF hay some
time since, the horse concluded not to
move any further; whereupon the farmer
pulled out small quantity OF the hay,
placed it under the horse and set IRE to
it. The fire had the desired effect, for 1t
Obliged the horse to move Hestarted for
ward lust enough to clear the flames, and
the entire load, with the wagon, was de-
stroyed, the farmer having as much as he
could do to clear the horse from the
wagon In season to save his life.
AT Cape May, the other day, rich
Philadelphian espied a charming girl
struggling all alone in the breakers, and
gallantly proposed to learn her to swim.
She thankfully accepted the offer, and
quite a Irritation ensued. Quoth the Phil
adelphian: "Are you staying at the Stock
ton, Miss-?" "Murphy," with sly
glance upward. ".Biiss Murphy-ahl You
are stopping at the" Stockton; yes,
sir" dAhi Are your parents with you?'
"No, sir" r" Your brother, pOssibly?"
No, SIR "Ah, / have it; you are here
with your ffiendsI'' "No, sir" q very
perceptible smile breaking over her coun-
| tenance Excuse my seeming imperti-
nence, Miss Murphy, but I am extremely
anxious to know in what capacity you are
hereg" "I am in the 6aks-h0use, sir. T"
Philadelphia retired with dignity.
=" Halo, there, ,capting," said Brother
Jonathan to the captain of canal packet
on the Erie canal; "what do you charge
for passsge?" "Three cents per mile, and
boarded" said the captain "Wa'al, l
guess 1 Il take passage, capting, seeing as
how I'm kinder gin out walking so far."
Accordingly he got on board as the stew
ard was ringing for dinner. Jonathan sat
down and began demolishing the "fixins,"
| to the utter consternstion of the captain,
until he had cleared the table of all that
was eatabie, when he got up and went on
deck, picking his teeth very comfortably.
How far is it, capting, from here to where
/ got on DOdrC 2! Neariy nile anu
mile and half" said the captain. Let's
see, said Jonathan; that would be just
four and q half cents; but never mind, ca p
ting, won't be small. Here's five cents,
which pays my fare to here. guess III
90 ashore now. I'm kinder rested eout"
BARON JAMES DE RoTHscHILD, during
the Communist period in Paris, was one
morning seated in his cabinet, when two
fellows from the fsubourgs, armed to the
teeth, entered and asked to be shown in to
citizen Rothschild. Gentlemen" he said,
"what can l do for your" swell, tins is
what we have got to ssy. You have mil
lions of money, and the people want
bread; so you must share, or if not -
Share? Very well How many are you in
France?' perhaps thirty millions"
"And how much money do you suppose
have?" Say a hundred and fifty mil
lions" "Wel, then, among thirty mil
lions that makes five france head. You
are two; here are ten francs for you, and
now we are quits }" The men were so
confounded by the argument, and by the
rapidity with which the whole incident
occurred, they took the money and disap-