The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1871-09-14
PEN AND SCISSORS.


A Saratoga bOarder frightened the
whole house by shouting the battle
cry of Freedom"
A Mr.. Black, of Greensboro, N. c.,
has recently shipped 5000 pounds of
dried fruit from that place.
BoARDER-"This tea seems very
weak, Mrs. Skimps.''
Landlady-"Well, 1 guess it must
be the warm weather. l feel weak
myself; in fact every body feels weak
After cockroaches have eaten box
or two of red waters they are said to
travel for change of air and scenery.
The Prussian conquerors of Stras.,
bourg intend to extend its fortifca-
tiOns, making that city pay the cost.
Great Britain last year consumed
40, 10000 pounds of tobacco, or a
pound and a half for each one of the
population.
1t is estimated that the people of
the United States pay 500, 900, 900
a year for medicines and medical
services, exclusive of $4,000, 900
for patent medicines.
A pious Detroit sign which read,
"No spirits sold at this fountain, -
was altered by a wag so as to read:
"No. 1 spirits sold," &c.
Terre Haute, Ind. has law against
hitching horses to shade trees, and a
case is to be tested whether a man
can be arrested for hitching his own
shade tree.
Why was Louis Napoleon's army
like his moustache? Because it was
waxed at both ends.
In Kansas, wife who purchases
personal property from her husband
in good faith and for a good and suf6,
Gent consideration, is in equity the
owner of that property.
The italian Parliament votes the
Pope an allowance of $500, 900 yeal
There are only two hundred ani
fifty eight Jews in all Ireland.
Young ladies in Iowa select shoes
in company with their beaux. They
always take No. Is, and exchang,
them next day for No. 5s.
There are 913, 1852 more womel
than men in Great Britain.
St. Louis has 81, 100000 worth o
school-houses-48 of 'em.
The Professor of Elocution a
Brown University Is a lady.
A young lady at Saratoga appear
ed in white costume, with one blu
shoe and one red one.
A girl who is now called ga beau
tiful blonde" would a few years ag
have been termed ga tow head.
Such is life.
Salt Lake City buys more artif
, cial flowers than any other plac
west of Chicago.
Sand Hill, Nevada, has a natura
spring of water which will color tn
hair jet black.
In one day last week ten thousan
g buffalo robes were shipped froI
LeavenWorth to the East.
The Kansas Central Railroad ha
} already bargained for $4,000 tons {
iron for the narrow gauge.
The average salary in the Presby
r terrain Church South, not countin
the city churches and professors {
D seminaries, is $3.50, being an averag
]: increase of $3.50 in three years.
Gen. Butler declares that if tt
I people "would only insist on the Ell
forcement of the law, the Govern
o ment would stand on frmer basis.
t This is very true, but in that cas-
f Butler himself would "stand O
e nothing. "-COurier,JOuTnaL.
The international Society questic
is attracting much attention ever.
u where.
. "Should auld acquaintance be 70
= got? ?" Not if they have money.
h When is small fish pond like
vt bird-cage? When there's a peri
in it.
e To give a man a hard name-Ca
10 him a brick.
= What is the difference between
% spendthrift and feather bed? Oh
% is hard up and the other soft down
q It's your tall fellows who are luc
. lest in love. The ladies are all
favor of Hy-men.
Is The number of vessels quarantin
b, with yellow fever in New York ha
)" Dor is on the increase.
ne A good many trades people OF
in give fifteen ounces to the pound
y is weigh they have.
"Bob, how is your sweetheart g
!, ting along?" ''Pretty well, 1 que
= she said 1 needn't call any more. ,
The custom of wearing cadet b.
tons has been given up by the ind
e. nant bellies at West Point, since {