The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1871-04-20
Ton, POa,ItOI,'s joke.

. WV - . = VIZ
A social club of seventy or eighty
choice spirits, calling itself ''The Sc
riOus Family, ''and having for its pres
I idcnt or chairman Mr.. Tom POultOn,
/ barrister at-laW in theory and moth
| ing-at-alI in fact, held its weekly meet
ings for some years in three or four
large rooms in a dull, gaunt house on
Soho Square.
The primary object of this assOcia-
ton was the promotion of good fellow
ship by the cOnciliatOry medium of
wholesome spirits and good tobacco.
/ It possessed a secondary, or rather in
cidental, feature in the shape of a
provjdent loan fund, and, according
I to the bylaws of this fund, all mem
bers of the club who had proved their
general solvency by twelve regular
monthly payments of one sovereign;
were entitled to one loan of twenty
four pounds, to be repaid within six
months from the date OF borrowing.
The fund was projected by Mr.. Tom
POultOn, who proved by statistics that,
| taking the general population of Great
Britain and Ireland, including wo-
men and children, and excluding all
members of the House of Peers and
all registered paupers, only one person
in four lived beyond his annual in
come, or, in other words, only one per-
son in four had occasion to borrow
money TO meet his yearly expenditure.
Assuming that these statistics were
applicable to so many members of the
+. Serious Family as elected to become
subscribers to the PrOvident Loan
Fund, it followed that for every four
annual subscriptions of twelve pounds,
only. one annual loan of twenty-four
pounds would be applied for, leaving
a clear annual balance of tWenty-fOur
pounds in the funds favor.
But Mr.. Tom PoultOn did not close
his eyes to the possibility that statis-
tics which held good when applied tC
thirty-five million people, including
women and children, might stand in
need of some modification before they
became applicable to an exceptional
gathering of seventy or eighty young
and middle-aged persons, among
whom were no women and no chill
dren. He very fairly admitted the
exceptional character of the club, in
the course Of his speech on the mo-
ton that the fund should be institut-
ed; but he cOntended that if as many
as one in three, instead OF one in four,
We're to apply at the years end for the
loan of twenty-fOur pounds, the result
would show a clear balance of fifty
per cent. in favor Of the projected
fund.
He went on to show that if an ap-
plicatiOn from one in three resulted
in a profit of fifty per cent, an aPpli-
cation from one to one and a half
would result in a profit of twenty-One
per cent; or, carrying the principle
still further, an application from one
in three-guarters would result in q
profit of twelve per cent, from which
am easy calculation would show that
If every member of the Loan Fund
who had subscribed twelve pounds
were to insist on borrowing twenty
four, the clear annual profit to the club
would be fifteen and five-eighths per
cent, and Mr.. Tom POultOn would
undertake, i'm writing, to be response
bic for the accuracy of his calculation.
1t was Immediately proposed that the
fund be forthwith instituted, and the
proposition was carried by acclama-
ton. Mr.. Tom POultOn was imme-
diately elected chairman, treasurer,
secretary, and trustee of the fund, and
the whole club became subscribers to
it.
Now this was one of Mr.. Tom POul-
toms practical Jokes. Mr.. Tom POul-
ton had, among other valuable gifts,
a keen sense of humOr, so keen, in
deed, that it was in no sense blunted
if the joke turned against himself.
Most of Mr.. Tom POultOn's practical
Jokes turned against himself, and the
particular Joke that Mr.. Tom POulton
porpetrated in connection with the
Serious Family PrGvident Loan Fund
proved especially disastrous TO Mr..
Tom POultOn, and, in the long run,
especially beneficial tO his intended
victims, the subscribers to the fund.
AS the year drew towards its close,
and as all the twelve-pOund subserib-
ers to the fund iHtimated their inten-
tion of applying for loans of twenty
four pounds apiece leaving a clear an
nual balance of fifteen and dfiye-eighths
per cent. in favor Of the fund, accord
ing to Tom POultOn's own shOwing),
Tom POultOn began to cast about for
another joke that should have the ef-
feet Of ecIipsing, by the richness Of its
hunnor, the humOr of the fund joke,
and of Obliterating, by the force OF its
agreeable denOuement, all recollection
of the disappointment that would be
-OceasiOned by the denouement Of the
fund joke.
One morning Mr.. Tom POultOn call
ed upon Mr.. Richard Harris, the Sec
retary Of the Serious Family. Mr..
Harris was the chosen sbetter of Mr..
Poulton's little jokes. He also acted
the part of traitor-in-Ordinary to that
Gentleman, and brought ALI his inge-
6uitv to bear upon the best means of
causing Mr.. Pouiton's jokes to recoil
mon himself. But Mr.. PoultOn's
leen sense of humOr reeOnciled him
to an nlisfortUnes that proceeded from
/ il and he and Mr.. Harris were on the
BEST Of terms. .--..-,.
Harris. D said Tom Poulton, "Hye
arranged another sell for the Family,
and I want your help
"Itisyours, "said Harris. .Detalls?'
You'are aware that all the Family
will be down on me in six weeks,
time for their tweuty-four pound
] loans. Well, before they fall due
am going to die.n -.--- --al-.- 81
T. HDOnit dothat y said Harris. .--
Yes, my minds made up. Listen.
/ I've found an old man Of nay namS-