Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-12-15
G1eaDings.

G1eanings. si
A clergyman, named Fiddle, respect.
fully declines the degree of D. D., be-
cause, as he said, he did not wish to be
known as Rev. Fiddle, D. d.
The New York Post says that "Smart
young school ma ANS, entirely without
tho aid of sewing machine, frequently
collar and cuff small boys in less than
thirty seconds. i
"Cast iron sinks, all Sizes" is the le-
gend Hartford plumber inscribed ION
his outer wall" "Well, who in thunder
(hic) said it didn't?' was the inquiry of
an inebriated man of sin to the plumber
aforesaid.
An exchange says the new style Of col
lar for gentlemen is simply terrific. They
are an economical article, however, as,
with moderately long pantaloons, they
do away with all necessity for shirt.
"Give me pound Of oysters" said a
man to an oyster vendor who was going
by. II sell by measure, not by weight
SAID the oysterman. 9Th n give me Il
yard Of them" said The man The
oystermap shook his head duhious]v and
passed on.
Tx deenitio Of "wed7ing" in tie fash
iona'''r v"c.hr larH, nieaHs q efan' crisis
If clothes; "bri e. Il ee on which fintry
ofil kinds is hung; bridegroom" sober.
black olject following the bride of 10 &c
cnunf n particular. and yet wiihout
whom there would hc no fuss, aud ihe
fun could not 60 on.
TIE Milan CFeXas) Telegram says:
I'VE have heen asked why we stopped
publishing the list of marriage licenses
issued by the clerk. Because great big
stand up in the mud, ont there in the
sand hills, said we published his daugh-
ter married when she wern't, and that
he would hit us on the head hard enough
to knock our ankles out ofjoint for it, Is
the explanation satisfactory"
A German physician prescribes as a
sure remedy for neuralgia, poulticc Of
tea made from our common field thistle
The leaves are maceratcd and used on
the parts affected as poultice, while
small quantity Of the leaves are boiled
down in the proportion of a quart to
pint, and small wine glass of the decoc-
tion drank before each meal
However faithful Mrs. John Strader, Of
Port Jervis, N. Y, may be as mother,
| rs wife she dosen't come up to her hus-
bands notions, and he thus infolms the
world oftne fact in his local paper: "John
| Strader wants four shirts made. Is will
| ing to pay reasonable price Mrs Stra-
der has two i'm family besides herself,
and says she has got no time to make
them. Address
"JoHN STRADER."
Our family physician may deride no.
mopathy as much as he likes, the fact
! nevertheless remains that he gives much
| less medicine than he did twenty-five
years ago. 1t is distressing thought
to many pious souls that any one should
preach the ultimate salvation of the
| whole race; but there is a good deal
more liberality among orthodox Christ
| ians than there used to be.
A man who seems to be losing faith in
womankind has posted up the following
"notis' in the Berlin, Vt, postoffice:
"My wife, Mary Miller, having deceiv-
ed me in regard to her age, before mar
riage, claiming to be 26 only, when she
was 80, with teeth badly decayed, while
| / an not %, with perfectly sound teeth;
therefore, I will pay no debts of her con-
tracing"
| His
IL. H. CHURCH
Mark
Concerning Josh Billings correspond
ent says; "Of all the comical looking
specimens of the genus homo, he takes
the lead. Tall, gaunt, homely--every
motion like that of an elephant deliberat-
ing weather or not he shall l4ross danger
Gus place but with a face lit up with
good common sense-friendly intercourse
and fun enough for the nation-hc is at
once the embodiment of ugliness and
beauty. He is the hamsomest homely
man ever saw in my life"
General Gorloff, who succeeds Mr..
Catacazy as representative ofthe Russian
government at Washington, though at
| tached to the legation since his residence
in this country, has performed no diplo-
matte duties at the capital, but has re-
sided in Hartford, for the purpose of su-
perintending the extensive manufacture
of Gatling guns by the Colt Arms Com
pany for the Russian government. In
Hartford, Gen. Gorloff is exceedingly
popular.
The causes for which Mohammedan
woman may demand a divorce are clear
ly and broadly laid down in the Koran,
and her evidence is sufficient, because
the Mohammedan law supposes that
woman must be violently aggrieved be-
tore the modesty of her sex will allow
her to appear in public with such an ap-
plication. So careful is this law to spare
her feelings, that she is not required to
recount her injuries. unless Of her own
free will; all she is to do is to place her
slipper reversed that is, with the sole up
ward, before the Cadi, and the case is
| finished; the divorce is granted without
further inquiry.
The New York Sun notes the strange
fact that New Haven dealers have to 90
to New York for fresh vegetables in sea-
son. The farming interest. in New
England is rapidly declining, and land
can be bought at a cheaper rate in
Massachusetts than in the settled portions
of Iowa and California. Country towns
in New Hampshire, thickly inhabited
twenty years ago, are now almost depop-
ulated. Rhode Island is the only New
England State where farms are increas.
ing in value, and this is owing to the
growing prosperity of its manufacturing
villages. Even there, however, hundreds
of acres cultivated fifty years ago are
now abandoned to the rabbit and wood
chuck.
Here is a new story about Dean Rich.
mond: A modest printers devil in
Albany entered the magnate's Office, fear.
ing that be would be rudely rebuffed
| when he made his mission known After
a moments hesitation, he said, faltering-
ly: "Mr. Richmond, believer" "Yes;
what do you want of mes" Il should
like, sir, to get a pass from Albany to
Buffalo" ION what grounds do you ask
for passs" (This with rising and very
rough voice.) ION the grounds. sir,
that I don't want to pay my fare" Rich.
mond, without another word, wrote out
pass and handed it to the applicant
The boy took it, saying, Thank you;
thank you, Mr.. Richmond" "You
needn't thank me. I'm id glad to &C.
commodate you. You are the first per-
son I've ever known, by G., to ask for
pass on the right grounds"