Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-01-19
CURRENT ITEMS.

MUTUAL FRIENDs-Kerosene and coro-
ners.
SOMETHING ALWAYS ON HAND-Your
thumb.
DOMESTIC BRoILs-Steaks cooked at
home.
THE richest man is the one with the
fewest wants.
ANTHONY TRoLLoPE says that good
digestion is "heaven ON earth"
THE Washington Life is one of the old |
est New York companies.
THERE were $50 violent deaths and Al
homicides in New York during the past
year.
A LADY has been appointed one of the
stenographers to the Supreme Court of
Maine.
PAUL MoRPHY is practicing law in
New Orleans, and has practically aban-
doned chess.
THE city newspapers are full of adver-
| tisements for plain cooks. We suppose
pretty cooks have no occasion to advertise
at all
A PAPER has an article headed with the
conundrum: "Why do Wives Fade2"
We suppose it is because they won't
washl
UNDER the head of "Lost Races of
America" a gentleman is getting up list
of the celebrated horses which have been
beaten.
FoRETHoUGHT and prudence both say
insure your life Take their advice and
insure in the Mutual Life Insurance Com
pany, of Chicago.
A VERY penurious lady was so affected
by charity sermon, on a recent occasion,
as to borrow a dollar from her own neigh
| hor orI ,1f,t in har our, r1onl-at
THE last literary sensation is serial
story in the new periodical, EVERY BOYS
MAGAZINE, founded on the extraordinary
romance of the Missing Earl of Aberdeen.
OF the 355,277 beef cattle sent into the
New York market last year, the State of
Illinois furnished 204,131. Texas comes
the next in the list, being credited with
1857.
WE have often wondered where all the
blind people come from; but it is plain
now There is blind factory" at Eliza
beth, n. j., where large numbers are
turned out every year.
"MR JONES, understand you said
sold you barrel of cider that had water
in it." Z" No, no." was the reply, " L only
said that you sold me a barrel of water
with a little cider in it."
| Mr. TERRY, who lives in Peru, Ind, has
a chair which has been in the family one
hundred years. The same gentleman has
clock which has been running forty
seven years, stopping only three times for
OIL
TIMOTHY HANDLIN, the boy-burglar of
Vermont, has confessed in court at Mont
pelier, to twenty-nine different burglaries,
besides numerous petty larcenies. His
bail was gwen at $4,000, and he went to
jail in default.
THE tide run out so low at New London
Conn, recently, that the oysters were
frozen to death in their beds. They
should have had a sheet on their beds; a
sheet of water would have been better
than nothing.
| BY AN OLD BACHELOR:
When to my arms parent gives
| babe she deems the best that lives
A little fright it may be;
Compelled to say word of praise,
| murmur as / fondly gaze,
| "Well, I've seen many in my days,
But this one ia babyr'
IT is claimed for Maine, by its citizens,
that in her laws in regard to the property of
married women, and the admission of evil
dence in criminal trials, she has the most
civilized code in the world
THOMAS HIGGs, an English peddler of
pictures, in Charleston, S. c., made bet,
on the 9th ultimo, that he could drink all
the wine a companion would furnish.
Higgs lost, and was buried on New Years
day.
THE sixty minutes between II and 10
O'Clock, on the night of the 31st ult., were
memorable as the last hour of the last day
of the last week of the last month of the
last year of the decade ending with 1870
Such coincidence will not occur again in
over eighty years.
!, A SLIGHT MIsTAKE.-"P Pray, bestow
your charity, young gentleman, on poor
blind man." said a beggar to person
!, passing by. "If you are blind, my good
fellow, how did you know that | was
young?" "Oh, sir, l made a mistake, T"
said the beggar; pray, give trifie to q
poor dumb manT
ITwas said, some years ago, in the House
of Representatives, at Washington, that a
gentleman, who was known to have very
; good appetite, had eaten away his senses.
"Poohi replied Henry Clay, "they would
! not be a m0utlJ'uI to himl'
, THE first number of the State Register,
/ published at Carson City, Nevada, con-
tains this marriage notice: "In this city,
2sth December, by Judge Waltz, All Hing
: to Miss Toy Woon, both of the Flowery
, Kingdom. No cards-no cake-no sabe. "
THE heroic fremen of South Adams,
7 Mass, held ladder at fire, the other day,
! while the poor woman who owned the
house clambered up and into the second
, story window, got out the furniture, and
descended, alive but nearly suffocated.
, Such gallantry is rare, We are happy to
, believe, among firemen.
: A BAvARIAN officer in France found one
: of his men cleaning chicken. Halo y
= cried he, "fellow, where did you get that
chicken? Don't you know that stealing
f has been forbidden on pain of death 2
J, "A peasant woman gave it to me-" was
- the answer. "And what did she say
"Well, she didn't say much. She only
cried"
r Two Emeralders working on a new
4 building were dry, and one bet the other
/ pint of whisky that he could not carry him
- to the roof in his hod. No sooner said
c than DONE Mike shouldered Pat, and af
: ter slow and painful tugging, dumped
d the precious burden on the roof. " All
Mikey, my boy" said Pat, rather crest
fallen, you've won the bet; but minc
C yez, as yez was passin' the fourth story
l. yez stumbled, an 1 had hopes"
q AT recent funeral at Newport, r. /.
4 instead of hearse being used to convey
# the remains TO their last resting place, al
i express wagon, completely enveloped IL
# evergrecns inside and out, was used TO
that purpose. A raised dais in the centr
of the wagon, also covered with ever
D greens, sustained the coffin, which wa
IT profusely decked with flowers. The nov
D, city was in accordance with the expresse'
d wish of the deceased
a. a WEALTHY bachelor, having had on
Is or two law suits for breach of promise
1t now replies to any young lady who wishs
few minutes private conversation: INC
YOU do not madame. 1t cuts me to tn
ut heart to be compelled to doubt the honor
h, ableness of your intentions, but that sor
a of thing is played out. My rule is impel
" ative, aud if you have any business wit
m me, it must be transacted in the presenc
of two witnesscsp
" A YOUNG man, not long since, was er
|, deavoring to enjoy an evening in the CON
y pany of a young lady, fair aud entertain
Vi tpr uro, 1rbo,,n ha ca1lad hut found a 81