Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1871-07-26
THE CHRONICLE.

THE CHRONICLE.
Joseph, how was buckwheat dis
cover in this country"
'Three squRr I believe"
A foreigner hoped that If that was
a Fourth Of July, Heaven would de-
liver him from the other three quar-
tiers.
Small, but active bootblack to a
wearer Of thirteens, say, boss, le'me
black YOUR boots; do IL FOR i've cents
an a.sre, and warrant 1t done before
sundOwn."
A blind OK, recently sold in Mime
sofa, broke from the Enclosure Of its
purchaser, swan q river and walked
twenty miles to its old home, guided
by "instinct."
The English company employed
upon the revision Of the New Tesla
ment have held their eleventh session,
and have arrived at the end Of the
sixth chapter Of st. Marks Gospel.
At a California fair recently, several
bottles of strained honey were put on
exhibition, when a chap put a bottle
OF castor oil with the rest. The Opin-
ion ofall who tried 1t was that the bee
that made II was a fraud.
A young woman not wholly uneon-
nected with a New York church
choir, leaned too FAR over the gallery,
last Sunday, to look at q new bonnet,
and now one OF the deacOns Is going
around with his head in a sling.
A gentleman having a pony that
started and broke his wifeis neck, a
neighbOr told him that he wished to
purchase 1t for his wife TO ride upon.
mo" says the other, "I will not sell
the little fellow, because I intend to
marry"
Two eard-playing friends were pass
ing through q pine forest, when one
asked the other this conundrum =
=" Why cannot the proprietor of this
forest fell his own timber?n BE
cause no one is allowed to cut when it
is his own deal"
A gentleman having a pony that
started and broke his wifeis neck, a
neighbOr told him that be wished to
purchase &c for his wife to ride upon.
MOI says the other, IT Will not sell
the little fellow, because I intend to
marry again"
A well-know English Lord is said
to have given the following instruc.
ton to his steward: 1--WE are COM
ing down, q large party, in a day or
two, to eat strawberries and cream.
We shall want plenty OF the latter,
so don't let any Of the cows be milk
ed meanwhile"
The dreadful news comes from st.
Petersburg that WieniaWski, the first
viOlinist TO the Gar, has resigned,
owing to a misunderstanding with
his august employer. What Aleek did
to offend the fiddler, we don't know,
but that the Russian throne Is in a
shaky condition, is evident.
Fun AT La Forte, Illinois. three
little boys, each about eight years old,
while playing near the railroad,
thought it would be highly amusing
to see which could lie with his head
nearest to the rail when the train
came along. oh the approach Of the
train down they went, but the third
one was sealped.
London Punch offers the following
suggestion : "7Why should not people
at evening parties be properly label
led with a number in some ~conspicu-
Gus but convenient place, and describ-
ed in 9 catalogue, 50 that one might
know who they were, and all about
them, without troubling the host OF
hOstess?n
At a certain hotel in Ohio, a large
mirror Is placed at the entrance Of the
dining hall, which Is so constructed
that you see yourself q thin, csdaver-
Gus, hungry person; but when you
come out from the table and look
again in the glass, your body is dis
tended In the extremity Of eorpu-
leney.
A Prussian cavalry officer who was
badly wounded at the baltleof Grave
lotte was greatly annoyed by the cries
Of some wounded soldiers lying near
him. He stood the annoyance as long
as nc could uud-t then testify cuifcd
out stop your bowling over there !
Do you think you are the only per-
sons killed I'm this fght?n
An order has been received in Troy.
New York, for sixteen slabs Of bell
metal, to weigh one hundred pounds
each, from some monks who have
built n church on one Of the peake Of
the Andes. They have constructed a
furnace, and intend to east a bell from
the metal after the slabs have been
taken up the mountain on the backs
Of mules.
The New York Tribune rejoicss
over the the last VindieatiOn of "ekal
rights, " in these words: 1.-THE color
ed man has secured in the District Of
Columbia the inalienable right OF
having his whisky when he calls for
it and pays his money. A restaurant
keeper in Washington was fined fifty
dollars and costs for refusing the need
full refreshment at call"
Three hundred English, Scotch,
Danish and Welsh Mormon immi-
grants arrived at Salt Lake on We'd
nesday evening last, aud were escort
ed into town by the Mormon bishops,
Brigham Young being absent. On
Thursday more than four hundred
MormOns left New York for the same
destination. No American-bOrn eiti-
Zens are mentioned as forming a part
Of these ~aceessions.
-@S--
a fearful tornado, accompanied by
thunder, lightning, and heavy rain,
struck Vinelaud. New Jersey on