davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

E,oR sALE--AT A GREAT BARGAIN, a FOUR STORY
front House. Fifty-third street, near
Madison also Sixtieth street, Sixty.
first street. and sevenythrd street; also large
number of low priced Houses. Apply to FETTRETCH q
REMSkN, LOIS Thlro avenue near Sixty first street.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

NEW PUBLICATIONS.

OFFICE. 1895 BROADWAY, NEARLY OPPOSITE OUR
PRESENT PLACE.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

T,OR sALE-TwO VERY COMPLETE THREE STORY
and basement stone front Houses sixtyhird street,
between Third and Lexington at low price terms
to suit. o. FOUNTAIN owner the premises 53 East
Sixty. street.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

WILL REMOVE IN A FEW DAYS TO QUA LARGER
OFFICE, 1895 BROADWAY, NEARLY OPPOSITE OUR
PRESENT PLACE.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

LII WANTING FARMS-GOOD SOIL. MILD Gil
"A mate-for papers address q. X AANDIS Vmeland
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

TOR sALE-THREE FIRST CLASS HOUSES ON THE
corner of Sixtysixtn street and Madison avenue Ap
ply on the premises
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-10-10

AT WILLARD 4 DEBEvorsE's, as DEFY STREET,
~ Hosting, Stationary and Portable Engines, Boilers,
second han; eltiug. shang and Pueys steam Cen.
unusai Pumph Column Dill and ScaleA
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
Dallas.

A.. -- 8, Cask, el.l.E NJ ths V1uals'
'alsa, Ga bis TsHsr " April ,ia, 'hu'
ua.rs rrg'. O. M cav Girys
Dallas. ua tlr i,it hank II ihe
frnily riyog, Is ha.ll upoR a sandy
iligo where ones We suppose, ludg-
ing from the adjacent iaTest, stood
blackjack and p0sloak timber with
an almiNture ~ cedar Sufficient Ia
vary and bcaulily, Indeed the ill.,
/ ,le city Is now half emhowen'l ia
eelar trees, and II Dallas should
call upon ~ 10 give il a pet maine,
We should unhcsilallngly Chrislen
! 4 1.-THE cily al c,slars,"
Dallas, Ike G0nHAles, without =
railroad, claims to ts u great nalu-
ml railroad centre, that roads could
not avoid il they would, and would
NJ il they could. We think Il has
indeed a bright future. IL has u
river that once IN t. while admits
The passage of light,draught sle"m-
crs. The Southern Pacific aud
Missouri, Kansas aud Texas roads
1rc likely TO cross each other hero,
Ii 50, Dallas, situated in the midst
1r as rich u country uS the suE
shines Oh, with tho lrriily, enter.
prising population sao haS, will
soon rival any interior city IN the
State, though tho proximity al the
terrible Trinity bottG'a does not
give promise OF good health.
We called ut tho HERALD Office,
and though brother Swindc!ls was
not in, his gcntlcmanly coadiu,or,
Mr.. lIutchcn, did the Eonors OF the
sanctum gracefully.
Speaking Of tie country generally, Mt.
Cook says very ,ru,hmlly;
In all the rich country of which
we have been speaking there are no
dilapidatcd houses, no fences rot
ting down, no lands formerly culti-
waited now lying idle. On the con-
trary, now hedges were being made,
raw prairie was being "soddcd
down" new and neat houses built,
these houses occupied by tenants
recently arrived from the States, in
new painted wagons drawn by n
pair Of good horses, and this when
land is selling ut from $40 to $50
per acre. Some of the plantations
are surrounded by these tenants
houses so thickly as to resemble
long struggling villages. Two of
the most slightly Of these planta-
tons we observed six or sewn miles
above the town of Dallas.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
NJ EW RA< e SY.
SfF EHeREF's SALE.

nN the FIRST TUESDAY IN MAY next
" ithr sa.ne being the second day there
of, will be sold within the hours prescribed
by law, at Public Vendt;e. to the highest
bidder, before the Court. House door, in
the Town Of Dallas, in Dallas County,
Tcxns,-All the right, tit le and interes. Of
Thomas Il. WOrlhington IN and TO six hum
dred and sixty acres of Land, described as
follows; "ln the county Of Dallas and
State of Texa9, on the waters OF Prairle
Creek, about y miles N. $50 L. from Dal-
las, known as survey No. l6], by virtue OF
Peters Colony Certificate, No. 726, issued
by tie Commissioners Of said Coltny, Oct.
18th, 1850; ;-beginning at tho n. y. corner
of David 4. nadgleys Gi0 acre survey, it
being the 7. W. corner Of section No. II,
Township No. |, S. r. of the first base line
Range. East Of first meridian, stake n
prairie; thence South with the East line
Of said Badgley survey, 1900 s.lOths varas,
Il stake in prairie thence Z. crossing
Prairie Greek, 1900 s-i0lh varas, a stalks
in mound in prairie; thence N. 4lO varns,
a stake in prairie, West line of Daniel
Tanners league survey, No. 26; thence N.
A4Bo ". 2OS9 yatas, a stake in the North
line Of 30th section and in prairie; thence
n. 436 varas, to he beginning" being one
half OF the undivided Interest Off. W. Penn
ber6h III the said rtct as m heir of Gid
con PeK,ttrton, deceased the interest OF
said j. W. pembertbn being the onc-ffth
of said tract, and assigned and transferred
to said Thbmas NJ. Worthingion by said
j. W. Pemberton, by deed dated Sept 2lsf,
1868, recorded in Look "j," pages 70 and
IS, Records of Dallas County; levied on
as the property of Thomas NJ. Worthin gton
dt the suit of j. b. McLaih;
J. NJ. BROWN,
Sheriff Of Dallas County, Texas.
April lst, lS7l.-29:4t.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

o. papal,tio" lhrn,nL Ter 4 term ~
al lrssl liar muHlhs III r5rh aud
cver1 yraIi and ,houtl ,l'y of saii
scholastic lHpH.s,l"u heslr,I ar NJ
lIsp a. aIleii said srhDa.s. carh
aud tvrry parent ~ guardian oi
such child rr Wari reIl,viln. or NJ,
iusing 81 attend, shall lc deemed
guilty 81 4 misiemcsnor, ard, upoH
trial anil oyRviriiOh lhet,u before
any court .. eompeieilt j,lrisdltlloi,
shall be tntl in u sun. nnt .u on,
coed twenty-five dal.a,s ihr tatll
aDd every ouch ofcftc, ani sl.dll
pay the cI'li of ths ,rnsat.'uu
and all moneys cD'u,,,. Zoe ilrt,
hnder the provision, ...- scr,iiil.
shall be- paid into .u. bt,nu', 4
part of the public rhnnl h,Gd q.
The district whore I, penalty laa
Incurred pn0ridti That Whrl suy
yhili ar ward "r scholastic ngc msy
70 sh0wii IA have rru,,gtl rgil.ar
lnsIructidN from any private teacher
having ii PROPER ccrl litalr of con..
lctency, d, wheG Il wm be showr
ll!at said dlscGcu wa caused hg II,
h alth, or there WI, uu school hi
three miles Il the posi- ,afre of tho
slid child ar ward, rr .'a, said ab,
srncc wac caused D. danger iruul
hostile Indians. M shall c&cmpt
them from the un .,,'uL cl tho
penalty contemplate .u ll.i- section.
and further provide that nothing
IN lhis ac, shall hc 81 rousIiaci ~
10 compel the attendance "a public
free schools or any hid under tcli
gears oragc when tn, urTrs scliool
is more than one m distant front
tho residence of said n Ia.
SIC. I. That all ln, aud parts
of laws not consistent with this act
he did aic hereby repealed: and
,ka. this tot take ylrct aud be ia
force from aid after i,s pusiage.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
Texas sbt and

4 friend hands Il, pllrr ing.
clipped from Michigan w,pcr
Most of o!'r readers wifi r.r aDer
II story gaing the rounds OF ITO pa.
pors u short tinto since, in which
n Michigan man igurcd ii ,l'c he
ro. THIS cncr5cti, Mich g'lndrr
was induced to 3isil hsj,hof in
Western Texas; arrjvirr a. his
ranch, the long lost brother wds in
the act of starting il company with
u number of other cuj ,'roats, bn II
stealing and numbering typclitiop;
Tho Michigunder was siioCkGd IL
the prohigatc life liS brother. was
leading, and rctl'rucd lrstantcr to
the bIisEiul regions Of S!raridc.. Tho
tOllowi,'g is trjn the ,ane reliable
gcntleinan: .
"1hc soil Of texas il sqod bc$EcfHd
dotEt, bnt II man hd@iHg II goqd
farm! in Michigan need hot hope to
Better his circumstances by omigra-
ti!.g there. \ wccviI lircys upon
tie corn crops to such :n extent
tl!at corn, after being harvested,
cannot be kept any Considerable
time.
"a worm inftsts the cotton liant,
thus rendering tho cultivation OF
cotton extremely uncertain aud pn-
rcmuTcrativo, \ half bale to thb
acre is considered fair c!op ii
Texas, while in the cotton growing
StatcS from bale to n bale and half
per acre is tho average yield. Tex
rs is Hot Il acotton nor corn State.
The cultivation OF cane Hight be
carried on to aj.vantagc; but, as
yet, no machiEory for liAnuf:actur-
ing or working, up the fSw miIteriat
has been introduced, atld therefore
much capital d ust be expedited ID
this direction beforq cane Culture
can be fhade ptoductivc
"TliG population of Texas is de,
cidedly i'iiHed. The negro race is
thS predolhinating cIeaent. No
sci!bols arc to be met with even in
towns like Columbu', having u pop7
ulktion Of 25OO. Ignorance and
vice reign prominetit, and are like
y to for some time TO come.
"The climate, like. the people. Il
extremely tickle. 1t times the,
warm brcezcs fro,j, the Gulf OF
Nnyinn ,anlor ibn O. u.t,ns,,h 81, a 7
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
Alice Car,'s sweetest Poem.

hf all the beautiful pictures
That hang on Memorys wall,
Is cne Of diFa old forest
That sesnetb best Of all
Not for i,s ghsrled oaks olden,
Dark with the misIleIoe-
Not for the Niclels golden
That sprinkle the wales below
No, for the mix white lilies
That lean from the fragrant hedge,
Coqueitihg all day with the snnbearasi
And stealing their golden edge;
Not for the vines on tho upland,
Where the bright red berries rest;
Nor the pink; nor the pa.e sweet c0wslipi
II seemelh 70 me the best.
once had little brother,
With eyes that were dark and deep
In the lap Of that oldcn forest
lie lieth in peace asleep.
Light as the down Of the thistle,
Free as the winds that blow,
We royed there the beautiful Summers,
The Summers OF long ago.
But his feet on the hills grew weary,
And Oh one Of the Autumn ewes
made for my li:tle brother
A bed OF The yellow leaves.
Swcstly his pale arms folded
My neck in q sweet embrace,
As the light OF immortal beauty
Silently covered his face
And when the arrows of sunset
Lodged in the tree tops bright,
He fe in his saint like beauty,
Asleep by the gates OF light.
Therefore, of all the pictures
That hang on Mcmory's wall
The one Of the dim old forest
Seemeth best OF oil.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
IvrrrtsrrSe DADoGrE.-aPa, what IS

IxrEHtsrrSG DIALoGuE.-"Pa Pa, what is
Radicdl2"
AnsHer.-"A Radical is a rapaciols
amin al Of the genus homo; native OF the
New England States, bat occasionally TO
be found in the Middle and Western Staies
n satanic spawn Of Puritan parentage' con-
eeived in sin, born in ini7nity, narsed al
the breast Of jealousy and self-esteemi
rocked ia the cradle Of prejudice and in
tolerance, educated in the school of low
cunning and foul play, and lives by pubic
and private pluBder.
Nov, ny son, since | have dshne
Radical, let re hear yon parse it.
Ahsrsr-A Radical is q compound IN
tonsfitrfional nom black in person, de-
eIining IN number, African gender, ana
despsrats esss; governed By negro aecord
ing 10 the Puritan rule-one igneramus
governs smother.
That vii %, NJ s0u catch your Fony
and .ake ride.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

An Irish hostlcr was sent to the stable
10 bring cut travellers horse, but no.
knowing which Of the two horses in the
stalls belonged to the traveller, and wishing
TO avoid the appearance Of ignorancc in
his business, he saddlcd both anmals and
brought them 10 the door. That's my
nag" Certainly, your honor, | knew
that very well" said Pat, but | didn't
know which was the other gentleman s."
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

The trustees of church il! Western
Pennsylvania, unabl, to pay their clergy
man in cash the arrears of salSt3 due to
hith, determined to do it "ih trade. =
Conseque they sent him ten feet of
stoye.pipe, two papers Of corn starch, one
felt hat, three kegs Of varnish, one paper
collar four palm leaf fans, and Two bum
1les of bed sluls.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
Kentucky lacks for Sale

THAFB nov sonsTEN or TWELVE fine
4 large KENTUCKY JACKS, all thoro-
bred ard reiirreei, the best blood q Ken
tuet--frrn about Lsringt0n AID DanFille
-rtf-h OFFER F0E SIZE. They nay
h. forui o. lhs Rssilrnrs sf ~ G. Ib1rn-
IA, Irrirs miles souih of F5ri horih,
T.r11t fgurfr.
atro ere rfstirr Superior J-rks you'd
g. r4n 70 c.ii On nstt an sffly day, At
fis st-7s-rausl ri--s.
JOIN HENDERSON.
r.t-~s-r rs..-si.8n.s
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
CARD.
TO THE TRAVELLING PUBLIC

HAVING leased the CRUTCHFIELD
III HOUSE, to take charge the lst of
May, we intend Renovating the House
throughout and Refutnishing anew all the
Rooms. The Travelling Public may be
assured that they will End this House,
under our charge, the best in Northern
Texas. One Of the Proptietors win be in
the Office at all times to look AFTER the
comfort Of Guests. We shau set apart a
number Of well-gurnished Single Rooms
hir the accommodation of those specially
desiring such Our Table viii be good, and
DUR Rooms clean and comfortable, and we
respectfully solicit your patronage.
Parties having Hams, Lard, Turkiesi
Chickens, Venison Hams. Eggs, &c, viii
please bring them in now aud get the
highest market price, as re wish 70 gather
a good supply Of such things st once.
EEATON < JOHNSON.
Dallas. Texas. Narch 25, ls71.-28f.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22
Insurance Agency,

Dr1Lks, Tkxss, April Isl, ls7l.
IAN prspsred 20 fssUB POLICIES IN
ibe LIFE order, sDd soon y On
FfRE RISKS also. ~ Frisues. and par
tss si.riv cd Terars. an inviis1 to see ne.
t.Hstt Re crmchssid Houso.
WI G. BrtELEf.
trrill islI.-.ssa-
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

IfE COULDN'T Tell a Lfi.--Mr.
Hlf. Burnett, in one of his letters
10 "rhc People =" of Indianapolis,
relates the following anecdute a
By the by, Il good story is told Of
Ben. Butler and his notorious hon.
csty. \ short time 2incc, Ben. Bat
Ter and Wendell Phillips had bust
ness With the President. and arm
in-ar!n, proceeded to call upnn him,
The President was busy, aud seus
word that he wciiId see thcin pres
entity. Phillips and Butlor strolleG
out into the conservatory in tm
re&f Of tho White House, themes
into the garden Butler apd PAIL
IFS vert eteaged in an anitaa - !
conversation upon some toVier.Bdi
Ter beccIEc slightly excited.
A largo hatchet. belong agltn tie
gardei'tr. was beside a tree Butter
casually picked it up. ami. white
talking, he made several deep gash,-s
With it into some Of Gen. tirani ;
iavorite trees. Just at This inne-
iffe. the President appearing. B9t-
Ter hastily sccrgtcd thunder Us cual
tail.
After the comTiiuenisof liedat
the President FFied Cor TIE first
time his natilaiad tree. a1-- Nifh.
tones OF vshementu. Inqtihcd v ~
had been cutting anl sasbiug that
tree? Aner a fey Ha3mslis' FlasI
Butler stepped trae - nr tq r.
President. and i5ak : n iy Ia
hand. saving Mf lr.- s.a-
not tell a ht- rann f-s-ta-.
Irsa5.I I. Hfs --
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

Mr.. Darwin insists that man is descend
ed from the monkey. If this theory IS
correct, then the monkey has now in Con-
gress many descendants of whom he ~
every reason to be ashamed.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

John Randolph was once, of race
course, solicited to bet by i stranger, who
saiL, " Smith, here, will you hold the
stakes" "Just so," replied the descend
ant Of Pocahontas; " but who'll hold
Smith ?"
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

At a lecture in Liverpool, DR.. W. Hitch
man triumphnntly asked " Where is the
relgiosity Of the anthropoid quadrumana p
And the question still remains unanswered
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

The House passed a resolution by
$50 % q. calling for the abciition Of
lhe internal revenue system at .te
Earliest period consistent With ths
maintennuee of the faith abe tfsi-
IL tflhc Un7te9 Stafes
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

Thackcray speaks Of n place N Ireland
where tho sense of elegance Wis 50 keen
that the servants brought up The GOALS for
the crate on clean plate.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

Dean Swift said alt is with narrow
s,uled people as it is Sith narrow-necked
bottles-the less they have in them, tie
more noise they make in pouring out"
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

A Western paper, describing the debut
of n young orator, says =" lie broke the
ice felcitously with his opening, and was
almost Immediately drowned with ap-
pldhse."
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

Dir. Ghawl Thompson recently ran his
head against a young lady during coiii-
lion. "Ahl eKcuse nc. dear" lie cried.
=" Did it hurt, an p No SIR she replied,
/" it's too soft to hurt anything
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

An enterprisihg itinerant chiropodist in
Ohio has caused wagon to he built like
human foot, and decked all over with corns
and bhnions.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

What is the difference between the sound
of wedding bells and II divorce case =
The first is a marriage peal, Ne second
marriage re. peal.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

An Anne lean paper says that in Chicago
bonhets are worn high" with reef in
the main .topsail and II spanker over the
chignon.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

4 Termontsr has gr0En a beard tEo
5.-ds isr. and here = an immense con
ftiiii1f 1monr fhs T,rUrrietors of Tsrif'1s
hair f1vi-o-lisrs ts % Va shsl sec
kin for slhibitiun.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1871-04-22

ntsrs e uan IN tts ~ula rg-ig p
s.. yiiisl. n . be sbs ii - f,o- isTtEst p
tcFsr-l-r
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

Gold Tinted Wall Paper ct
GRIPFEs Bros.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

cB- Col. II. d. LOOMS, is the Gener-
al Agent for Messrs. Booth & Sargents Mu-
sic Store of J ilnsville, and parties desiring
instruments of any kind will save 25 per
cc"t. by ordering from him.
Orders lett with Mr. GEO. W. HASKELL,
Petroleum Centre, will be prompt attenu-
ed to by Cot. Loomis
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

Us A large selection of the ates. pubi
cations Of SLeet Music, incmding .ii,ila
Names Dream and other pieces, ut Booth
4 Sargeuts, TiIusyi lr, p,
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

90 barrels of Russet Apples ut Fisbela at
"a per barrel, apaO- lw
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27
Drugs, Pa
Street, Pet
THE OIL MARK ETN.

OFFICE OF
PETS OLEUN CENTRE DAILY RECORD
April 81 1871.
The market was firm but quie ct during the
day. The sales were 1000 barrels at 81, 600.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

sB large invoice OF the celebrated
Spang Melodeon's, just received at Bcoih &
Sargents, Titusvslle, Pa.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27
FOR SALE CHEAP,

FREEZING COLD SODA WATER 1T
as GRItFES BROS,
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1871-04-27

The finest assortment OF Children's Shoes
ever brought 10 the oil region, at
A. s. SMITHS
Boot and 81 oe StOle,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-03-14
Love and a Farm.

Quite q number of odd and anus
ing scenes frequently occur with par
ties who visit the Clerks office for the
purpose of securing the necessary doc
ument to legalize their marriage. But
the other day, young man, about
twenty-one, accompanied by one of
the opposite sex, equally as young, as
cended the main steps of the court
house, and then, on being directed to
the Clerks Office, took up the line of
march for its hallowed precincts
Reaching, he refused to enter.
The rustic maiden, who was ex-
tremely anxious to see the marriage
prog. ANNE carried to a successful is
sue, looked upon him with pleading
eyes, and then taking him by the hand,
in the most tender manner, beseeched
him to go to the court and obtain the
license.
ooh! came along. Jake; what's the
use backin outP" fell in dulcet tones
up Jacobs ear.
"Melindy, | can't. The old man will
give me fits if | marry you"
Haven't you told me a thousand
times that you would marry me in
spite of the old man?"
eyes yesl but there is
"Is what?"
"Why, the farm"
"Plague take the farm"
eyes, but, Melindy," reasoned her
lover, "hadn't we better wait till the
old man dies, and then I'll have the
farm, sure?"
"Dod rot his old soul, he'll live ff-
teen years yet; there's no die in him.
Come along now and git that ere Ii
cense; / amt a-going to be put of
any more"
"I'll tell you what I'll do, Melindy,
DEAR"
"Well, spit her out"
"If the old man holds out agin my
having you till Christmas, I'll marry
you then, farm or no farm"
"Sure?"
"As sure as my name is Jacob"
"Well, let her go then till Christ.
mas, but If you back out then, Jake
look sharp"
"I'll toe the scratch then, by jingo
if the old mali turns me off the farm
with double.barrel shot gun, certain,
and Jake looked as if he would.
"Well, let's bind the bargain with q
kiss or two and 60 home; but look
eut If ynn put it off any longer than
Christmas"
IL won't back out any more, darned
if DO"
Thus resassured on being married by
Christmas, Melindy drew off with hel
Jake.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-03-14
A Solemn Old Joke.

Judge Winans, who is ordinarily as
grave as a grave stone, kept the House
laughing, the other day, while attempt
ing to get the Speakers eye, and so oh
tain the floor "Mr. Speaker" CT.
the Judge to Mr.. Dawes, who wa Vi.
the chair.
Speaker-The gentleman is not in
order.
Winans-I'd like to be told, Mr..
Speaker, how you know that before /
say what | want. Laughter.1
Speaker-The gentleman will take
his seat.
Winans-Is there anything in the
rules that requires me 10 be seated be-
fore | have said q word?
Speaker-The gentleman is not in
order, and the Speaker cannot proceed
with the business until order is restored.
Winans-Would it be straining a
point of order for me to address the
Chair? Loud laughter Voices from
over the House, "Mr. Speaker p "Mr.
Speaker
Speaker-Gentlemen will resume
their seats.
Cox-Does that include the gentle
man from Ohio?
Speaker-The Speaker has not yet
recognized the gentleman from Ohio.
Winans-I thought as much. have
here, Mr.. Speaker, pair of spectacles
of great magnifying power. Shall l
show them to the Chair, so that | may
be seen? Roars Of laughter all over
the House.
Speaker-The gentleman is out Of
order.
Winans-I rise to a point of order
Speaker--The gentleman from Ohio
will state his point.
Winans-That a motion to adjourn
is always in order. Great laughter.
Speaker-Does the gentleman from
Ohio move to adjourn?
Winans-That was my wish when
the Speaker invited me to be seated
[Laug ghter.]
Speaker-Does the gentleman from
Ohio move to adjourn? !?
Winans-No; got over my hurry
And so the Judge sat down with i'm
mense gravity, and the House fairly
convulsed.