The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-12-17
VET AND WELDON.

Inc - pump Oh uobtIuCtAtcuoco a AoiA-
way collision.
Funny, that "square" dances are coming
round again.
When is a penny like hermit When
it's a loan (alone).
The man who was injured by burst OF
applause is recovering.
It is all very we'll to say "take things as
they come" but suppose they don't come!
Which is the better off, tea or coffee
Coffee it settles right off, but tea has to
draw. :,
In well-regulated house, all the good
taste of the mistress is not lavAshed upon
the parlors.
What is the difference between hungry
man and a gluttoni One longs to eat, and
the other eats too long. -
When we are alone we have our thoughts
to watch ; in the faaily, our tempers; in
company, our tongues.
- Ifyour mothers mother was my mothers
aunt, what relation would your great
grand-father's nephew be to my elder bro
ther's son-in-law.
"Tell the mistress that I've torn the cur
tain" said gentleman ledger to female
domestic. Every we'll, sir; mistress will
put it down as rent"
A Child's Logic.-Nurse 81 cannot allow
butter and jam, too, on your bread" Mas
.
if the same piece Of bread does for both"
Some years ago, when Lady Foley, to
avoid certain debts, went over to Calais,
George Selwyn observed that it was "a
passover not much relished by the Jews"
What can be wetter than a woman with
a cataract in her eyes, waterfall on her
head, q creek in her neck, forty springs in
her skirts. high tied shoes, and notion il
her head
80 Srs< ia
-cobwebs and ends in iron chains. The
more business q man has to do the more he
will be able to accomplish, for he learns to
economic his time. -.
"Well, sambe, how do you like your new
place ~ e Oh, berry well, massa." g What
did you have for breakfast this morningf"
"Why, you see, missis billed tree eggs for
herself, and glib me de brorf."
At the concert by the Mendelsshon quin-
tette club, in St. John, the other evening,
a fair damsel asked her attendant swain:
(which is Mr.. Mendelsshon, wonder Z"
81 don't think he's there" was the reply.
"Wby didn't he come, I wonder 2" !" OH"
said the other, determined to be equal to
the emergency, 81 am told he hardly ever
leaves Boston now"
A Connecticut lawyer, whs wished to
cross the river on ice, was told that it would
be entirely safe to make the attempt if he
crawled over on his hands and knees. Anx-
ious to go, he humbled himself accordingly
and had loboriously got half way across
when he was overtaken by man driving
along leisurely in a buggy. The rapidity
with which he assumed an upright position
was startling to the driver.
One day in spring, Sir Walter Scott
strolled forth with Lady Scott to enjoy q
walk round Abbotsford. In their waoder-
ings they passed field where a number of
ewes were enduring the frolies of their
no wonder that poets, from the earliest
ages, have made the lamb the emblem of
peace and innocence" "They are indeed
delightful animals" returned her ladyshlp,
"especially with mint sauce"
At the late examination of a country
grammer school, q clergyman said that
boys were often SO excited when undergo
ing an examination as to spoil many good
papers by the most curious bluuders. For
instance, boy, after giving a very good
description of the building of the ark,
spoiled it by describing Moses as the build
er; another, in answer to the question,
"Suppose Queen Victoria had died in child
hood, who would have succeeded to the
throne 2" wrote "Her eldest son."
A great violinist accepted an invitation
from vulgar notary at Brussels, and was
kind enough to play during the evening to
the guests. A month after, madame, the
notarese, sent the musician another invita-
ton, Win Culs pOStcTipt. 'AooFeaii, uon
forget your instrument" The musician
sent back a violin and these lines: "Mad-
anne, regret that, personally, 1 cannot ac-
cept your invitation for tle-th. I am
sure you will the more readily forgive the
apparent neglect, as send my instru
mont"
Sincerity.-Give as sincere friends. or
none. This hollow glitter of smiles and
words-compliments that mean nothing
protestations of affection as solid as the
froth of clampagne-invitations that are
but pretty sentences, uttered because such
things are custom.7y-are all worthless.
There is no need of them. 1t is proper to
be civil and courteous to the most indiffer-
emit strangers; but why assume friendships
outward show when no reality underlies
TT When one feels friendship, the object
of that sentiment cannot suffer, and leave
our heart acknowledgements be slandered,
leaving us unframed.
: A gentleman of a slightly irritable tenn
per, calling out loudly for some hot water
was unanswered. Selling q small bureau