Connecticut western news., 1871-09-29
CuriOsities of Advertising.

No department of business seems to create so inexhaustible fund of amusing eccentricity as that or advertising. Article after article is made up, giving the latest peculiarities in this department of business, but no sooner is one collection of errors finished than materiel is at hand for anoth- CT. Some of the curious ones refer to the my stories of ladies' toilet, give hints of her arts and aims, and convey to young men important information concerning tine fe- male world in general. Wefind the follow ing for instance in single morning paper. ''We can now supply gum teeth at $1 per pair switches, one yard in length, $3; curls at $l per set and bumpers for hollow cheeks for only $2,5O"
 More interesting are the ''young widow" advertisements. To read the papers one would suppose that young widows were capable of any business occupation under the sun. This one is fair sample of a certain class:
 :.A young widow will board, in front chamber young gentleman, unmarried and of means"
 While the following is still more frank |: ''A widow, young and having advantages, wishes to make match with gentleman Must have ample means.''
 Here IS one which is still more peremp- tory.
 A widow desires marriage with gentle man. Only those of pie means need apply.
 A more ludicrous class of advertisements are to be found in the 'swants" column. Here are some short examples: ''A gentleman nurse wishes 8 situation. " "A healthy woman wants baby to wet nurse on the bottle at her own residence" Here is an attractive announcement in "Pidgin German" It may be seen in Chat ham street, New York:
 Hair Drigger Guns Dree shoot for Drec cent"
 Here is landlord who owns about the largest cottage we have heard of:
 ''A cottage to let containing eight rooms and an acre of land"
 It is well known that Miss Nilsson has endorsed several different piano fortes, each being the best. Messrs. Dix S Case, fish dealers, Chicago, thought it good dodge, and so published the following ''or- theDtic" letter in their advertisement
 ''SRs Them codfsh is elegSnt, Meir .facor is hsgh, 80 $ them Heron. I recom- mend them as l do you to all LuUSrs 0f good edtfn. Respectfully, CHRISTINE NILSSON" An uptown grocery-man who had a strong advertising instinct, but had not learned so we'll how to do it as the Chicago man, advertised in large letters ''Nilsson buttermilk."
 Here is curious advertisement from wants
 Wanted, by boy, situation in an eat ing house. He is used to the business
 Of the following heartless advertisement we have nothing to say, except that the truth sometimes comes out by accident:
 PERSONAL. Edward Eden, painter, is requested to communicate with his brother, when he will hear something to his advan. tage-his wife is dead
 This man, who advertises in London paper, had better not transfer his literary talent to this country.
 "A man of letters desires newspaper work as writer of leading articles, reviews and correspondence, or as a newspaper editor, provided it is not much trouble
 The advertisements intended to touch the hearts of rich religious old ladies, and other good but unsuspecting people, are very many. We give but one of them. clipped from an English paper:
 'To CHRIsTIANs.-Ay young man, who nev CT had the blessing of the use of his limbs through being set on wet grass, earnestly soliclts 42 postage stamps. In return he will send, free, six best nickel silver tea spoons and tongs to any part of London The examples that might be given are almost infinite, but space will permit but one more, It is highly poetical, and in the tragic line. Notice particularly the awful catastrophe;
 A MOTHER SPEAKS.
 Haste thee, haste, our child is dying.
 I fear I'll never see her more;
 Run for help-quick, get the doctor!
 For pity's sake, aid implore."
 Now the rhythm changes, the clouds clear, and the doctor comes on the scene:
 "He laughed, and took out bottle,
 Which he held to the mouth of the child,
 And in precisely five minutes,
 The babe awoke and then smiled"
 We wish every afflicted babe could fart so happily. But there is reason for tho cure:
 ssBecause the bottle contained the Phos phorescent InVigorator. which we car cheerfully and conscientiously advise moth CTS to buy"