The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-06-27
One Of Niagara's Swindles.
COpp pcpONDENT &c \

-A.York paper tells his hack experience G
at the big cataract as follows
You can buy ten cents worth of any
thing at Niagara by just paying one dol
lar for it.
This is the greatest place in the world
for bridal couples. They are all very
susceptible, and all green. I'll tell you
something about bride couple, not bri-
dial couple. A pair of hack horses are bri-
die couple, and it's about pair of hack
horses | have to write. A fellow who
had one Of these teams started a CONVEX
satiou with me thusly:
Take a ride ?" " No" "To Goat
Island ?" No." Lunar Island ?" No"
Suspension Bridge 2" No." Rapids?
"No." Whirlpool ?" ono" "DeviPs
Hole ?" No" Horse Shoe Falls ?"
"No." Clifton House ? "No."
You see I'd been to all those places.
and L didn't care much to go to them
some more. ] hadn't been to Lundy's
Lane, and when he said " "Lundy's Lane, :"
says |, " Who is Lundy? p
why" said he, there is where the
American eagle scared aloft, and with
one fell swoop plucked tuft from the
name of the British lion"
"Nol" said l.
Yes" said he.
Have they preserved the tuft II asked.
He said they had.
What has become of old Lundy ?"
said I.
Alas" he replied, he sleeps beneath
the sod. +"
Says |, How much to do Lundy ?"
Well,' says he, seeing it's you, I'll
take you there for dollar, and you could
not go for less than that in wheelbar-
row."
got into his vehicle, and by and by
we got to what he called Lundy's Lane.
1t was two or three patches of grass with
rail fences around them, one brindIe
COW with fence around her, and coun-
try road. The driver said he guessed !
had better pay. So | gave him a dollar
bill, painted green on the back.
Why" said he, " we are in Canada.
and | want gold"
Says |, " [ hain't got no gold"
He saw | was sickly-looking cuss
what had come to the Falls for my health.
So he squared himself and doubled up
two fists that looked like lager-beer kegs,
and said:
You little withered cuss, you, if you
don't come down with quarter, | will
punch your snoot"
My snoot feels better when it amt
punched SO | came down with the quar-
ter Then | said {: 81 guess Pve got
enough of Lundy," and l went to get in
his wagon, when he yelled out
" What in thunder are you doing 7"
| said Getting in"
4" Well, F" said he, Z" that is cool. You
had better get out again darned quick"
Then he broke the news to me very
gently that he had agreed to bring me
out for dollar and the price for going
back would be five dollars
"No," said I.
" Yes" said he.
"Then I'll walk said l.
"Walk and be darned," said he
He got upon his old rattle-box, and
commenced to move, and | commenced
to move. | looked like twelfth of doz-
en- mourners at a one-hack funeral He
talked to me thusly:
Hot, amt it? Ever see so much
dust before Going to shower SOON"
Up came the clouds and down came
the rain. / had walked mile, and |
said, guess I'll get in" l gave him
five dollars.
Said he, "give me another dollar"
told him he agreed to take me for
five dollars. t..
"Oh," said he, " it was pleasant then,
but you see it is raining now"
gave him the money, and finally
reached the hotel, and l don't take no
hacks no more.
A Shrewd Beggar. '