Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1871-05-03
THE CHRONICLE.
MELTING STnRY

MELTING STORY.
One winter evening a country store
keeper in the Green Mountain State
was about closing his door for the
night, and while standing in the snow
outside putting up the window shut
tiers, saw through the glass a lOung-
ing, worthless fellow within, grab a
pound Of fresh butter from the shelf,
and concealed it in his hat.
The act was no sooner detected than
the revenge was hit on, and 8 very
few minutes found the Green Noun
tain stOre-keeper at once indulging
his appetite for fun to the fullest eX-
tent, and take Off the thief with a face
tious sort of torture for which he
would have gained a premium from
the old inquisidOn.
Il say, Seth2p saidthe storekeepeF
coming In and closing the door AFTER
him, slapping his hands over bis
shoulders, and stamping the snow of
his feet.
Seth had his hand on the door. his
hat on bis head, and the roll Ofbutter
in his hat, anxious 70 make his exit
os soon a. possible.
al say, Seth, sit down: I reckon
now, on such an e-tar.neI night e
this, q little something warm would
not hurt a felloW.n
Seth felt very uncertain he had
the butter, and was exceedingly anx-
iOus to getOf, but the temptation Of
something warm sadly interfered with
his resolution to 90. This hesitation,
however, was SOOn settled by the
right owner OF the butter taking Seth
by the shouldersand planting him I'm
q seat close by the stove, where he
was in such a manner cornered In by
boxes and barrels, that while the gro
Ger stood before him there was no
possibility Of getting out, and right
in the very place sure enough the
store-keeper sat down.
Seth, We'll have a little warm San
n Cruz said the Green Mountain
grocer; 20 he opened the stove door,
and stuffed IN. Rs many sticks - the
place would admit; without il you'd
freeze, going home such q night as
this.n
Seth already felt the butter settling
closer to his head, and he jHmpedup
declaring he must 90.
LNON VII III AaNG 10hAGAlAAh vain
Seth I; Seth, come, I've got a story to
tell you,n and Seth was again rushed
into his seat by the cunning tor
mentor.
ooh! its so darned hot here" said
the petty thief, attempting to rise.
"Sit down-dOn't be in such q pla-
guey hurry, - ~retorted ~thegrOcer, push
ing him back into his chair.
But I've got the cows to fodder,
and the wood to split, and must be
going" said the prosecuted chap.
"But you mustn't tear yourself away
in this manner. Sit down; let the
COWS take care of themselves and keep
yourself cool you appear to be a little
fdgety,n said the rOguish grocer with
a wicked leeT.
The next thing was the production
Of two smoking glasses Of hot tOddy,
the very sight Of which, in Seth's
present situation, would have made
the hair stand erect on his head, had
it not been well oiled and kept down
by the butter.
seth, viii give you a toast, now,
and you a butter it yourself" said
the grocer, with an air ofsuch consul
mate simplicity, that poor Seth be-
lieved himself unsupported. Seth
here'sa Christmas goose, well roasted,
Ell? tell you its the greatest eating
in creation. And Seth, dOn'tyOu ever
use hogs fat, or common cooking but
Ter, to haste il with-eome take your
butter-I mean, Seth take your tod
dy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke as
u-aII NJ malt ona his moufh Woa hnr-
metically sealed up, as though he had
been born dumb. Streak after streak
of the butter came pouring from I'M
der his hat, and his handkerchief was
already soaked with the greasy over
flow. Talking away, as il nothing
was the matter, the grocer kept stuff
ing in the wood, while poor Seth sat
upright, with his back against the
counter, and his knees almoSJ touch
ing the red hot furnace IN 'front.'.
"Plague cOld night, this, y said the
grocer. why Seth. you seem 70
perspire as il you were warm! Why
don't you take of your hat? Here
let me put It away!"
! mo ~ exclaimed poor Seth at last.
NO. / must 60, let me out l ain't
well; let me go.n
A greasy cataract was now pouring
down the poor mans face and neck,
soaking into his clothes, andtriekfing
down his body into his boots, so that
he vas literally in perfect bath Of
oil.
"weIl good night, Seth" said the
humorous Vermonter, "if you will
GO" and adding as he darted out Of
the door, 81 say, Seth, I reckon the
fun I have had out Of you Is worth a
nine-penee, so I shan't charge you for
that pound Of butter in your hath