The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05

Two negroes, bargaining for some
land, the price of which was 5000,
said they had only half so much money.
every WE'LL" said the land agent,
"I'll take $3.50 down, and a mortgage
on the balance in one year."
Sambo scratched his head moment
and replied: 81 say, boss, 'spose fell
hain't got no morgitch 7"
The agent explained, but the darkey
couldn't see it, and disclaimed the
ownership of a single "morgitch."
The other darkey here came to the
rescue, and "lucidated the pint" Says
he: "Sambo, don't you know what a
morgitch is !? Den I'll tell yer. A NOR
glitch is jest like dis yer 'Spose yer
pays de boss $3.50 down; den yer gives
yer word on de honor of nigger that
yer'll pay him the udder $3.50 in a
year. Den 'spose on de last day of de
year yer pays de boss s449-and don't
pay de udder dollar, why den de NOR
glitch says de boss can jes take all de
money and de land, and you don't hab
nuflin-not a cent. Golly, boss | a
morgitch makes a niger mitey hon
est"
A correspondent writes to a cotem-
porary the following about some of the
curious popular names given TO the
New York churches: plymouth
Church is called simply tBeecher's.'
DIR. Storr's Church, owing to the pecu-
liar form of the steeple, is known as
the Church of the Holy Corncob.
Mr.. Talmadge's Tabernacle is called
the Church Of the Hip2odrome.' One
of the Old School Churches, stiff in
doctrine, is known as the odd Fur
mace A Baptist Church which makes
a specially of the ordinance, announc-
ing it ever Sunday, is known as the
Church of the Holy Bath A Uni
tartan Church, low building, with its
different parts drawn out like tele.
scope, is called the Church of the Holy
Turtle DIR. Bellows Church, built Of
alternate layers of red and white, is
known as the Church of the Holy Ze
bra To raise funds to pay off 9
church debt one of our religious socie
ties held fair, at which dancing wal
made prominent. The society was i'm
mediately christened the Church o
St. Vitus.'"
The latest story from Massachusetts
comes from Lynn, and is of battl,
between toads and frogs. The contes
is thus described by the man who saw
"a -, N ,,oDJ ~ +bot ,,a;ol II
"Around the margin of the pond, il
the water, there was large collection
of common toads; close beside then
was an equally large gathering of bull
frogs, and a battle between the tw,
, was in progress. The frogs, being tn
most powerful, were busily engaged
in drowning the toads. One or NOR,
frogs would seize toad and hold hi
head under water until he was drowned
/ Sometimes frog would find that h
: was overmatcheed, and then he woul,
. utter peculiar sound, when one o
more of his comrades would come t
his aid, and the toad was sure to g
r under, never to rise again, This bat
tie continued for several minutes, un
til the toads were completely 'oleane'
r out when the frogs joined in one tri
! umphal croak, as though they ha'
5 achieved victory over mortal enemies
S The scene was q most singular one, AN,
: such as is rarely witnessed"
A curious story is told of thre
. young candidates for Scottish minis
try. The first one put upon his trial
while putting on his robes, happene'
. to descry an ancient-looking, well-wor
: roll of paper, which proved to be
sermon upon the text, "Jacob was
5 plain man, dwelling in tents" Seein
: that the old sermon was much bette
: than his new one, the aspirant to pul
g pit honors took possession of it, deliy
e it as his own, and then returned it
S its old resting place. The sermon wa
g a good one, and pleased the hearer:
s although they would have preferre
s one delivered without book. Grea
V was their astonishment the followin
/ Sunday, when preacher No. 2 treate
:. them with the same sermon from tn
!, same text; but it was too much 70
r Scottish patience when third minister
J. falling into the same trap, commence
e his sermon by announcing that "Jaco
e was a plain man, dwelling in tents ;
r and one old woman relieved the fee
J. ings of her fellow-suiferers by exclain
Q ing: "De'il dwell him! is he neve
e gaun to fit ?"
s A short time ago lady and gentl,
y man were married very quietly in tn
y country, and proceeded in their CA
u riage to spend the honeymoon anon
!, the lakes, the gentleman giving striC
q orders to his Irish footman on no a,
II count to state to inquirers that the
were newly married. When leavin
.e the first inn on the road the happ
Is couple were much astonished and al
n noyed to find the servants all assen
II bled, and, pointing to the gentleman
" mysteriously exclaiming, "That's him
n That's the manW On reaching ii
Is next stage the indignant master tol
d his servant that he had divulged whi
10 he had impressed upon him as a secre
D, and had told the servants at the la
N inn they were a new married coupl
T. Gre ialars an it's not trua yer hOI