White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1871-08-10

A CALIFORNIA JoKE.-The Occasional Notes"
column of Mr. Beccher's Christian Union has this
bit:
"Mary's Little Lamb" and the venerable edi-
tor of the New York Tribune are both regarded as
fair subjects for the Writings Of the land to flesh
their maiden pens upon; though, certainly, both
are worthy of better treatment than to be thus
tormenfed. The latest instance, taken from
hesven-forsaken corner of q far-away California
paper il calculated to arouse the sternest resis-
tance in our nobler nature. 1t is rs follows:
..Mary had little Lamb
1t drank cold water freely.
And looked 40 innocently wise
She called 1t Horace Greeley"
which he gives the title of "Vedder Brognostdi-
ksdor und Almineck Kalnder for 1871" Carl To-
Gates the signs of the zodiac in der shkunk, kid
den, yackass, kroshopper, pumple pee, ped pug,
shnabbin durdle, etc.
The following is specimen of the authors
philosophy:
No madden how gross you vas in der PEBBLES
eyes, no madden who you tink you vas, ven you
gone died der world wood gone yoOst der same
mitout you. IND it vast yoost 30 foolishness to
tink dat ven you put your dhumb in de rifer md
mid quickness dock it out, der hole wood shtOp
dere ven your finger vas gone ont.
:. DETERMINED TO PREsEvERE.-A little four or
6ve-year-old boy was seated Mt the table eating
dinner. small cut of beesstake was given him,
and taking it up in his hands he resoutely endea-
vored to get bite off the end of it. 1t being
pretty tough-as beefsfeak sometimes happens to
be-he pulled, and jerked and grunted at the task
. little more than was consistent with modern
ideas of polite dining. After few earnest strug-
giles all in vain he turned to his mother with look
of mingled energy and despair, and said, through
vexatiOn and tears
Mamma, mes going to have q piece off this
meat if pull my mout out"
"AToM,n of the Harvard Advocate, visited the
French fair, in Boston, and thus reports his ex-
perience:
Young lady-Sir, wouldn't you like to buy some
tickets in punch-bOwl!
Atom-No, thank you; never drink.
Young lady OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES wouldn't You
like to buy some cigars thenf
Atom with a very grave face No, thank you ;
never smoke.
Young lady dosing patienceewe I'd offer
You some soap, if thought you ever washed
WHERE THEY Goa story is told Of an editor
who died. went to Heaven, but was denied admit
lance lest he should meet some delinquent sub
scribers, and bad feelings be engendered in that
peaceful cline. Having to go somewhere, the
editor next appeared in the regions of darkness,
but was positively refused, the place was full
of delinquent subscribers. YEARLY the editor
turned back to the Celestial city, was met by the
Waterman at the portals with a smile, who said:
II was mistaken; you can enter; there il not q
delinquent subscriber in Heaven.
ONE MCGEE, prominent politician of Kansas,
was once the presiding officer of Democratic
County convention A resolution was under con-
sideration to which McEee was opposed, but which
was finally passed by a decided majority The
chairman, however, was a man for an emergency
In announcing the result, he delivered himself
solution of this kind requires a two-thirds vote.
and don't think there's that MANY here. The
resolution is lost"
----------
Trrr- al, Aox NJ ",
Tribune Office had to be closed for some purpose.
So Horace wrote piece of paper, Entrance
on Spruce street" and sent it down to the man
who does the painting of the bulletins to be cop
forenoon. and finally in despair wrote editors on
aSprce and postedi tup. Thepassers BY thought
the circumstance was not unusual but wounded
ed why il should be posted up so cOnspicuOusly.
.---
DURING the period our boys were enlisting as
"vets-," the following conversation was over
heard: say, Jack, are you going to re-enlist p
mot much, if know it. "What are you going
When get home, TN going to hire q small boy
with bugie have him come to my room every
morning ut five o'clock and blow the reveille-
just for the satisfaction of telling him go to HI
Then Ill roll over and dream of soft bread. 4"
EVANSVILLE, Wis, is noted for smart boys. The
latest is told Of . lad of six summers, who was
taken to task by his aunt for some supposed Of
mic. y said she. .I know Won are NOT telling me
the truth; see il i'm your eye.r Pulling down
fhe lower lid of fbe oryan which had we'll nigb
i.traved his verac;tx Jobnn;e exulfaptlv rcplie6
aYmn can,t tell ANYTHING abont n amt. that eve
.Iw.rs was . I;ttls sfr.ated
-
A COUNTRY girl rode into town the other day,
t'. ~ ,.a. ,nrti,!m, .s. ha could AZ Gov ha. 70
...e ...,.5 r., az, - .sO,, ~, AZ; niass
r,,, ,ranId ie Kind enanrb IN On ont and milk the
IA 49, Co. 7 r.,J f,,,s ho, w;thout The Golf ;,
NJ. ha.;,n anv sxnar;ancs in the 1m;,t;n /. line
s;~.a hs VS. vary snaIi he hlnsb;nciv dsol;ned
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