The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-01-19


- An Iowa man, living within three miles
of a railroad, has never been in q car never
been courting never sat on jury, or kissed
girl.
There is something new to be learned
every day, and in every place:
"Aiisfortunes never come single"
And so like birds of feather,
The marriages and the deaths.
Are always printed together
- Mrs. L!yermorc has waited and pondered
and calculated until she is able to arrive at
the conclusion that "the women of to-day arc
not what they were ten years ago." we should
Judge that they are about ten years older, II
nothing more.
AT Troy the liquor dealers are only. al
lowed to sell benzine to the travelling public"
and now, when resident wants drink, he mas
to shoulder his carpet-bag. Before breakfast IN
the morning, the streets of Troy look Ike some
Southern city previous to election-Ne" YORK
Democrat -
= A neat compliment was paid the other
dav to a-lady. She had Just swallowed small
glass of wine AZ q gentleman in company asked
for taste. "It's all gone," said She laughing
ly, "uness you take some from my lips" Il
should be most happy" he replied, "but 1never
take sugar in mine."
A Philadelphia judge has picked up some
where the absurd idea that witnesses are not
criminals. He rebuked a lawyer for badgering
one in late case, and laid down the astoundlg
proposition that witness should be treated in
the same manner as any gentleman would treat
visitor to his house. The lawyers talk of
having him impeached or sent to lunatlc asy-
lum. -
- Josh Billings sums up his mortality ex-
perience thusly: "Men, if they amt too lazy,
iiv sometimes till they are so, and destroy the
time good deal as follows The fust 80 years
they spend throwing stones at mark; the
second 80 they spend examining the mark tu
see whar the stuns hit, and the remainder is
divided in cussing the stun throwing Dizziness
and missing the rhumatiz"
- Some of the Boston papers with charac-
teristic charity have discovered that the recent
appalling fire in Richmond was special man
Hesitation of divine wrath. This is clearly an
error. for as long as New England and its isms
escape destruction, "all the world and the rest
of mankind" may remain under their vines and
fig trees with the assurance that they will be
unmolested by Providence.
- There are memories connected with the
past year which must sadden it forever IN the
minds of millions Stout old David Farragut,
the Nelson of the Western world, the bravest
of the brave, sleeps the sleep from which no
drum-beat calling to quarters shall again sum-
mon him to lead his gallant sailors into the
hail of hostile fleets and batteries. Robert f..
Lee, the great captain of tue lost cause, has
gone to his grave. And he who gave us Little
| Nell and Dora, dear Mr.. Pickwick and simple
Captain Cutie, has laid aside his wcaried pen
forever, and passed into the infinite unseen
whence he had called the bright and gentle
spirits who have now home III every heart
which understands the rough strong Northern
tongue wherewth Charles Dickens made his
matchless music.-New York World.
= For the first time in the history of Kansas
the Democratic minority now has chance to
make itself heard and its Influence felt i'll the
Slate politics. The new Democratic paper es-
tablished at Lawrence-the &andGrd-is doing
yeoman's work in setting Democratic principles
gins to prevail lin all districts not completely
under the control of Republicans favorable to
the selection of good men for Congress in fu-
turc, irrespective OF their Republican party ties.
While it would be unwise to expect too much
on a sudden from State which has been so
long bound hand ard foot with the withes of
party tradition and party patronage, there Is
great hope Of a steady, progressive revolution
of public sentiment in Kansas which Will ul-
timately vindicate the maxim that "the race is
not always to the swift nor the battle to the
strong"
= Printers have a way of interpreting the
editors manuscript that is sometimes highly
AMUSING US we'll as provoking. We call to
mind just now two funny raisprnts that lately
occurred with two of our cotcmpCraries. At a
certain stage of the Franco-Prussian difficulty,
England evnced a disposition to get mad. The
night editor of one of our dailies, on receiving
the news, wrote the head line, 'The British
Lion shaking his mane." lie WAS unable to
eat his breakfast next morning when he found
the printers version of the matter staring him
in the face thus: "Thc British lion skating in
Maine" This happened about the middle Of
August The other paper met with its trouble
in this wise The editor had written an elabo-
rate article about Fort Wayne Railroad,
which he concluded with these words, this
Fort Wayne enterprise" The printer had the
satisfaction of making that editor sick by rem
dering the last words of his article thus: "Ths
Fish Wagon enterprise"