The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-07-01
CHIPS AND sPL1NrERs

| y
ter.
A very thriving business has
been carried on in London lately.
in painting sparrows and selling
them as canaries.
This is sweeping catastrophe
as the man said when his wife
knocked him down with . broom.
Although one swallow will not
make q summer, still pin malici-
ously inserted in q chair will make
one spring.
Is it proper to say OF an artist
just verging on delirium tremens.
that he is putting touches to COL
ossal bust ?
Grief knits Two hearts in closer
bonds than happiness ever can
and common suffering is q far
stronger link than common Joy.
The little child Of Madame Ra-
tazzi, the Princess Maria Bona
parte, is to be simply called Roma
Isabella Alexandria Italia Maria
Letizia Alice--no middle name or
initial.
A recent breach Of promise suit
led to the production Of seven hun
dred and sixty-three love-letters
by the lady.
A TOY editor lately returned
tailor's bill with the following
memorandum on the margin: Your
manuscript is respectfully declin-
ed
A paper having had an article
headed with the conundrum, Why
do wives fade ? . contemporary
'supposes it is because they won't
| wash
James, asked Professor Plati-
tide Of one Of his pupils, SIS there
a word in the English language
which contains all the vowels?'
There is, 'unquestionably,' answer.
ed James.
A Maine man has invented q new
style spring beds:ead it is wound
up at night, set TO the hour one
| wishes to rise, on the arrival of
which it turns the occupant out on
the fioor,.and curls itself up ham
mock fashion.
An abandon ed wretch who was
warned by temperance friend to
look not upon the wine when it is
red within the cup replied 4 never
touch red wine, whiskey agrees
better with ny constitution
'Mother!' exclaimed an affected
young lady, inst home from board.
school mother, here is a gram
matical error in the Bibler Law
sakes! !! replied the old lady, ad.
justing her spectacles kill it! kill
it right of, for its the pesky thing
that's been eatin' up the book
marks y
Dispatches from various points
in Colorado are delayed by the in
converient habit the settlers have
OF hanging horse-theiyes to the
telegraph wires.
1t is pleasant, in these torrid
days, to think that Capt. Hall takes
with him in his Arctic voyage a
thermometer which will register SO
degrees below zero.
A nervous person said that he
hated being called upon to make q
speech at public dinner, because
getting on his legs always sent
him of his head
There is young lady in Camden
studying Latin. She has a beau.
He asked her what 'sic transit glo.
ria muudi' meant She translated
it, Come and see me on Monday
A Cleveland merchant lately re-
ce:ved package labelled Il box
Tom Cats 1t took him sometime
to decipher the TACT that the in
scription meant q box of tomato
catsup.
An Australian gentleman exam-
ining q mining claim, was seized,
stripped and covered with tar and
wool. He went and got himself
photographed in this guise, and
sued his assailants for 1000 dam
ages. putting in his picture as ev--
idence.
An cd gentleman having had
the bill Of fare passed him by a
waiter at dinner, and evidently la
boring under the idea that some.
body wac passing circus bills, told
the waiter be would read it after
dinner He had a hard time Sc.
lecsing his dishes.
An Ark ,nsas woman named EN-.
lily Sarah Lord is reported to have
had nine husbands in ten yoars.-
Two died with suspicious sudden
ness. and three were divorced.
what become Of the others is not
stated. An exchange says she IS
misnamed. for evidently she is an
Emma-Sarah OF Satan.
A foot race took place at Gin.
cinnati one day last week, which
was participated in by some three
thousand citizens. They all came
out ahead OF the lunatic who was
ter them with carving knife.
Some men who have not travelled
faster than a walk for years. are
said TO have beaten the time of
that California horso