Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-01-21
Miscellaneous.
Marriage-Imprisonment for Life.

trap replied TO the rat.
A man who cannot mind his own
business, is not fit to be trusted with
another's.
Never despise the value Of small
things. Think of yourself when only On
eightpounder !
A witty lady being asked her opinion
of moustaches, replied, "I always set
my face against them"
4 writer of lGve tale in describing
his heroine, says: Innocence dwells
in the rich curls of her dark hair"
In Columbus City, Iowa, there is
young lady who boasts that her lovers
collar almost goes round her waist.
A secret society of young women ex-
lists in Memphis. Each member is
bound not to marry man who cannot
give her diamond ring.
"Does your knitting machine make
a seam 2" asked an old lady of the pro-
prietress of knitting machine. 81 1t
seems no" was the reply.
Don't judge of moral character by
tho face. The frog is more innocent
than many an animal that has much
handsomer physiognomy.
A one-legged young woman in Chi
cago advertises for husband similarly
situated, in order to utilize the odd
shoes of the pairs she buys.
A pious young girl of Keokuk, Iowa,
has broken off her engagement because
her lover insisted upon devoting Sum
day evening to courting exercise.
The Prussian raids into the country
Southwest of Paris are terribly de-
structive. Even Solomon in all his
glory was not raid like one of these.
A Davenport lady had her petition
for divorce granted after she had sold
her property aud turned over one third
$4,000 to her husband for mainte-
nance.
Tn Lawton, Mich. man choked his
wife just because she knocked him down
with stick of stove wood and threw n
bucketful of scalding water on him.
The brute was fined SIS.
An infatuated n Y. girl who fell in
love with stranger at fair. and en-
gagged herself to him, would not credit
the stories about him till she was intro
duced to his wife and two children.
The deceiver fed.
A young lady, at an examination in
grammar, was asked why the noun
= bachelor" was singular She replied
Immediately, with much naivete, be-
cause il is very singular they don't get
married"
a blushing Cincinnati damsel, recen-
tly applied to the Judge of Probate
for O marriage certificate. excusing her
self by stating that as her Alliance ran
on the riverihe had no time to attend to
the business himself.
Halo !" calculated an anxious
guardian to his lovely niece, as he en-
tered the parlor, and saw her in the
arms of swain who had just popped
the question and sealed ii with smack.
i" what's the time of day now" u
should think it was about half past
twelve" wss the cool reply you see
that we are almos. one !"
A gentlemen was one day composing
the music of rondeau for o lady to
whom he paid his addresses. Pray,
Miss D." said he, "what time do you
prefer 2" COP she replied carelessly,
"any time will do. but the quicker the
better" The company smiled at the
rejoinder. and the gentlemen took her at
her word.
Two or three dears and two or three sweets;
Two or three bats and two or three treats;
Two or three serenades given az lure;
Two or three oaths how much they endure;
Two or three messages sent in one day
Two or three soft speeches made by the way I;
Two or three tickets for two or three times;
Two or three love letters written in rhymes;
Two or three months keeping up to these rules;
Can never fail in making couple of FOOLS.
The $12 Lever Watch, No. 1850,
purchased from Chas. p Norton & Co.
SO Nassau. Street, New York, January