The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-04-01
From American Publisher for April
MairiElOny 5nder DIslcuilIes.
BY rIIOMAs w KNOX,
A"titor Of f"Or>rlGnd Through Asra."

'h<t ue Witnessed, ~ncre the ceremony
was performed on the same couple three
times in one night. He was wandering
through northern Iowa. and southern
Minnesota, on search for timber lauds,
and was accompanied by a back woods
adyeuturer named Preston. Near the hne
between Iowa and Minnesota, they stop
ped lew weeks at tie house of a settler
named Jenkins. The latter had a buxom
daughter and was well off for "a back
woodsman, and the situation appeared
decidedly favorable 10 Preston. So he
courIed the daughter, and was polite TO
the parents the result was that a we'd
ding was arranged and all the neighbors
for ten miles around were invited
jenkins was liberal provider, and
weddings were not frequent in his family.
lie laid in half a barrel Of whiskey, and
his wife and daughter cooked enough for
a small army, so that nobody should 90
away hungry. There was a preacher in
the neighborhood, who had arrived there
recently, and be was invited to unite the
pair He tied the knot, and was reward
ed by Preston, who made a mess of the
affair by dropping couple of silver dol-
lars into the punch bowl while trying to
hand them TO the parson. Tne brides
arm was called into requisition to lift out
the cash, which she did with all the skill
of native of Long Island fishing for
"Blne Points" with pair Of oyster tongs.
For the invited guests, the business of
the evening began with the supper that
followed the wedding ceremony. Pres
ton took his fell share of punch and whis-
key before retiring 10 the bridal chamber,
which was reached by ladder through
the floor Of the garret. Mrs. Preston had
been taken there by the bridesmaids half
an hour earlier, and when the couple had
disappeared there WAS a fresh assault
upon the whiskey.
1t leaked out in the course Of the even
ing, that the parsOn was not an ordained
preacher, but only one Of those minister
al tledglings who have been ''licensed to
exhOrt.' When old jenkins heard the
rumor he went for the exhorter and ex-
tracted from him the horrible fact that he
was not really authorized TO unite couples
in holy ma!rimony. but he had Ufiiciated
on this occasion because he thought il was
all right, aud nobody would know the
difference. jenkins flew around like a
boy with humble bee in his coat sleeve;
he kicked the unhappy exhorter out of
doors, and went up the ladder like n mons
key climbing "a mindow,blind
'Here you, GIT up, GIT UP!'' he shouted;
''you amt married at all Git Up this
minute CIT up and come down, quick 5"
The voice of Preston was heard to
drawl out that he wouldn't get up, and
that if his respected tather-in law did not
clear out and mind his business he would
get his nose busted.
jenkins explained the situation, and
the couple arose. In few minutes they
came down the ladder, looking very sheep
ish, and the bride blushing like a red
wagon. There was a justice of the peace
in the party, and he performed the cere
mony, which, unfortunately for Preston,
took his only remaining silver dollar
There were more drinks, and then the
couple again assembled the ladder to their
bridal apartments. Preston mnttered, as
he climbed the ladder, that if he ever
found that parson ne would hurt his face
so that his friends could not identify him
without magnifying glass.
OF course the party down stairs. who
were making night of il, talked over the
peculiarilies of the wedding, and their
talk developed the fact that the Justice
Of the peace lived in Iowa, while the
house Of jenkins was in Minnesota. Jen-
kins was informed Of the situation, and
away he went once more for the ladder.
lie was louder in his tones than before,
and his first words met prompt answer
from Preston.
Now, look here, old man. said Pres
ton, as he bounded out of bed ''there has
been fooling enough around This yere lad
der to night, and if you don't git, I'll bust
yer head
He picked up cow-hide boot, as he
spoke, and advanced menacingly. A
shrill voice from the bed urged bim not
to hurt spa
''Don't shoot, DON'T said jenkins,
as be re;reated down the ladder, till hIs
head was level with the garnet floor -
There he paused and explained the new
state of affairs to the enraged bridegroom
who stood over him with the boot uplift.
ed, and ready for blow
Preston accepted the explanation, anc
the result was that the couple rose anc
dressed and descended the ladder. Then
with Mr. and Mrs. jenkins, and all o
| the guests who were sober enough Il
stand, they walked half mile down the
road to the Iowa line, and entered the
Badger State. There the justice agar
united them. "And this time, said be
as he concluded the ceremony, "you ART
married, sartin, sure"