Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-04-22
MINNESOTA LAWSUIT.

fellow OF a u ustlce OF the Icace, whose
ideas of matters are much like the
waters of deep river-once started, it
il hard to turn them On fair day last
week, after the 10 x IL law dispensary
had been swept. after chairs had been
set in a row against the side of the
office, and sundry whipped quids of to-
bacco and mutilated cigar stumps had
been kicked under the stove. there was
wo5den step on the stairs, and vig>
orous rap at the door.
"Comc in, said the Justice, ns he
settled into legal book so betittins a
man of law, duly elected to dispense the
favors Of the blind goddess.
A stout woman entered. She had
on short .woolen dress. wooden soled
shoes, sported red cheeks, black hair,
and eyes that snapped like the lock OF
shot gun. In Portuguese accent, and
in the worst possible English, she
| said,
8 You law man ?"
" Yea, Madam; be seated
" Want paper. Want paper to take
| man.
Just then stout French half-breed
entered the room. lie was unable 20
speak half dozen words, and looked
either scared or bashful The Judge
saw at once that there was some marry
ing to come off, and said to the woman.
who stood with compressed lips watch
ing the Justice and the door
Want paper to take this man.?'
{" Yes-want paper Me teach him
(Nice woman, Thought the Justice)
He no good man; me take him so
quick Us can -
All right, my covies--fix you in
The jerk of lambs tail. said the JUS
ticc, as he turned to the man and
said
You know this woman, can you
take herr
The man shook his head, and NUT
tered uninielfigiblc words.
"Ah, / see Can't talk English.
Well never mind.
He ran into the street, iovited few
friends upstairs, and on returning will,
them said to the woman:
" You want TO take this man, FOR
better or for worse -
Yes; me want TO take him me
pay"
" All right"
Then turning to the man who stood
trembling
You take this woman for better or
for worse, and promise TO keep her, .
&c, &c.
"Umph :" and several mods of the
head.
"Thcn in the name of the law, and
in virtue of the authority in me vested,
| pronounce you man and wife" And
he stepped before the woman could say
word AMI kissed her lips.
Slap came her hand in his face. and
she clutched his hair. The new hus-
band jumped 10 to take the woman
away, and to protect her, as the woman
! supposed, when in self preservation the
Justice gave him rap on the nose
The woman pitched into the new bus
band. who in turn pitched into her, and
for about five minutes there was gen.
eral hustling and display of things de,
cidedly astonishing
At last tho parties were separated
wher the man and woman took another
turn at each other, the blood and hail
flying in all directions. Down came th,
stove, over went the table, clatter went
the chairs, and into the street like mac
went the Justice, with black eye. ant
the bosom of his shirt looking like
warranty deed covered with red seals.
| A crowd rushed up stairs, and founc
the man and woman lying on the floor
hugging each other like young bruins
the woman on top. and pomelling he
newl y-made husband with a hearty
will.
| The newly married couple were sep
arated, when, through the aid of tw,
interpreters, it was discovered that th,
night before, the parties, occupying ad
joining shanties 10 the lower part of tn,
town, had gone into dispute over
stove pipe, which was claimed by both
and from words they had come t,
blows. Each party had fastened TO tn
Justices office in the morning for
warrant for the other, with the result a
above stated.
Il The last news from there was tha
the parties had gone in search of apothc
| Justice to unmarry them, while tile ge
nial cause of their. terrible sanatbl
, was setting up the boys and bath
ing his bunged eye in camphor an,
whlskey. For an actual fact. il is tn,
richest within our knowledge.
Subscriba for tho n,