Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-05-11
OUR APPETIZER.

Small potatoes grow in every
hill,
Envy Is the canker worm Of vir-
tue.
-MedeSty is ~ becoming as oour.
age.
No man is ever scholar a. his
birth
Signal for Pulling
dogs tail.
| Heaven always favors the honest
purpose.
Nothing is so reasonable and
cheap nv good manners.
Truth i the rival of time and the
oracle of the future.
Have the elements right to
brew n storm without license 4?
DIR. WALKrNcrRsr is the name
"fa Cincinnati physician.
Babies are conpons attached 10
ma'r'mony, the interest is due ut
random.
The less man thinks or knows
about his Virtues the better we like
him.
A CONNECTICUT school. boy has writ
ten composition on the horse, in
which he says il !, an animal having
four legs "onr at each eorners
A Mr.. FoRns has been shot for
"personnaly insulting" the people of
Cheyenne. He attempted to deliver
II temperance lecture there.
A WESTERN editor in response
to a subscriber who crnmbIes that his
paper was iolerahle damp, says be.
cause there is 40 much due on il.
--ErIorETTR ---an abhhnrrrnre Of
eating with knit', and no aversion
In rohhing another man's wife of her
affection for her husband.
"A FRENCH artist being asked to
draw al allegorical picture Of benev.
olenee. carefully skrtchcd bit of In.
dia rubber. "Th:s," said he, is tho
true emblem Of bene, olencc. it gives
more than any other substance"
MILWAUKEE has got a Turkish
bath. An ed tor there was run throgh
and on g";ng home his wife hunted
him out of the honae. and would not
believe it was he till he showed her
his railroad pass.
"TnAr man." said wag. came to
Nashua forty years ago, puIchased
basket, and commenced gathering
rags. How much do you suppose hs
is worth nowt' 1t was a connnirn,n
we could not answer. Nothing" he
continued after pause, "and he owes
for the basket"
Our little four.year old remarked
TO her mamma on going Ia bed 81
Am not 'f'nId of the dark"
"Nn, of course Won are not" repli.
cd her mamma, " for il can not bnrt
you."
But, mamma, was n little
afraid oure when | went into tho
pantry IN the dark 10 get cookcy."
'What were you afraid of:" asked
her mamma.
II was afraid coulln't find the
cookies"
a Farmer who wished 10 envr.t the
accumulation IT his industry III United
states securities, went to 4 brukrr's
Office 10 obtain trca.urv notes. The
ci'rk inquired, What denomination
will ynu have ihnu. sir :" Having
never heard that word used except
ing IN distinguish rclgi"us sr,is. the
farmer, after little delibcration re-.
plied: We'll. von may give me part
in Old School PRESBYTERIAN. To please
the "ll laIv. hut give me tie he.t ont
in Free VIII Baptist
The hair " the New York edit.
org is TINS portrayed Benncit's hair il
gray, Gr.aley's bair is white Mar.
hh''s hair j. black james hair il red;
ii'Nd'' iHr nv HiH DiHb ital once
dark hair Swin,on ba' hyaci'hine
hair BRYANT has frosted hair, Young
has yellow hair; Bundy has blui.h
hair; Tllfnn has chestnut hair Beid
has black hair: and Chamberlain has
sandy hair. Dana, Marble anh Rrv-
All wear fpI' boards Greeley and
Bennett wear Bn boards, aud the rest
"f the editots have patches hair on
different parts 0! their pbiz.
The "fat Contributor" Grist Of
The CINCINNATI Times. has the follaw-
ing in regard to an old conductor pro-
NOTED 10 neutrality-suspicious.; 'JIabt
was very strong with the ex-conductor
As he sat in his office he wanld start
every time he heard hell and veil,
"All aboard" Thn he would go
about the office af intervals and trv TO
collect fare of The assistants. We
d-opped 10 casual, on" afternoon, and
Billy wanted 10 know If We had a pass.
lie couldn't get nsed io his new posi-
'ion at all. He binetl :" he agnin on
the road. Que day he begged tho
boys 10 put him through coils
Inn uhi.h they 6il IN b;u nutir. au,;a.