Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1871-05-18
Nasty as a Ku-Klux.
THE LAMENTABLE FAILURE OF HIS FIRST
EXPEDITION.
CoNFEDRTT X ROADS, !
(which is in the State of Kentucky,


April 10, 1871.
We hev our distinct elemence wich go
to make up the sum total Nv sosiety in
this immejit visinity, namely: Regler
citizens, niggers, carpet-baggers, and seal
awags. The regler citizens are them
which are white, native, and to the man
ner born, and which either served in or
howled for the confedrit army; the seal
awags are white natives Nv the sacred soil
wich disgraced theirselves sympatbizin'
with the North doorin' the late fratrisidle
struggle; the niggers are niggers of all
colors, and the carpet-baggers are unset
tied northern men, who come here and
buy property and improve it and stay
who are not in akkord with the prevailin'
sentiment-wich is to cay who are not
democrates. Joe Bigler is scalawag,
Pollock is a carpet-bagger, and Elijer
Lubbock, the postmaster, is Nv course
nigger, and these are fair types Nv their
class.
The corners hez alluz felt justly irri-
tated against these last three classes, for
combine them and give them a chance,
and they RELY hev majority in the town
ship It took the most vigorous and vo-
ciferous countin' this spring to keep
Issaker Gavitt from bein' beet for assessor
by a nigger named Joins, notwithstaudin'
that our cballepgin' committee all stood at
the polls with clubs and kept more than
fifty nv 'em from votin' at all. The close
mis- nv this eleckshen and other causes Nv
irritashen determined US to clean ont the
entire bilin' nv 'em. We coodent live
with 'em. They had got justice NV the
peace and constable over at CARROTS
town, and the niggers wich workt for us
wood sue us when we refoozed to pay
they woodent paternize Bascom, and stub
bornly refoozed to vote the ticket we give
'em.
We wanted no trouble. We wanted
EN- to 20 peaceable, and when, after we
gave EN- warnin to leave the country, and
they refoosed to 90, we improvized tenn
prary Ku-Klux Khan, Nv wich l was yoo-
unanimously elected chief. With my sc-
customed vigger l called a council and
selected the ground onto wich we wuz to
operate first. The north road leadin to
Garrettstown wuz settled for five miles
cut with niggers, carpet baggers and sea-
lawags exclusively, and it was resolved
to clean that out and / summoned the
khan for active dooty.
We presented a gorgus aspeck. We
wuz clothed in long black robes with
wkite skulls and cross bones prOfoosly
stitched on all over em-our hats WIZ nv
the confedrit slouch style, with the same
cheerful insignia onto EN-, and our faces
wuz kivered with masks, onto wich -wuz
the letters NV the order, *. K. K" We
wuz armed with rifles, shot-guns and
knives-each man heViu, OF course, a
bottle. We wuz all mounted, and that
cussed idee nv mountin Was the okkasion
Nv the failyoor Nv the expedition, 80 far
ez L wuZ conserved. ..-..- .. .
lam no horseman-I despise a horse.
I am afraid ev 'em and the broo's. with q
saeacity hard tn account for, know it, and
taxa advantage NJ it wantid Bnzcom'r
mule, which is a stiddy goin' animal, but
he wuz a goin' to ride that bisself, aud
wus compelled to go to Pollock and hire &
horse NV him. Casses on that boss :
cusses on Pollick and especially hot Gus.
ses on Joe Bigler!
When Joe ofishusly offered to saddle
that boss and bring him out for me, I in.
stinctively felt that there wuz trouble
| ahead.
He brought her ont, saddled She wu2
tall gaunt animal, seventeen hands high
hard bitted, hard trotin' aud with nc
more idea Nv gentle amble or gsllop,
than hog hez on Sunday. She trots-s
hard, ugly trot-with the bit atween her
teeth, and 700 kin no more stop her when
she gifts agoin' than yoo Good crowd OF
Crossroaders when somebody ssys, Lets
take suthin." .- ...
! mounted her, however, and strnck out
at the head Nv the company. l he'd on g
Confedrit saber, and Notwithstanding the
fact that he'd to hold on to the name nv
my warlike steed with one hand, to keep
on, I managed to ride out with tollable
m srshel air.
pride goeth before fall" We he'd
ridden four miles when l observed a rest
lessness on the part NV my steed which l
didn't like. She wuz shyin' from one
side Nv the road to the other-sbe wuz q
histin' up her hind legs and suortin' a:
! though she was possessed. At this mint
Issaker Gavitt sejestid the propriety of &
halt for refreshments.
CERTAIN" sez I, "ef / kin ever get thi.
cussed mare to stand still long euuff
Whoa, yoo broot r.
1 he'd iist got my bottle out and het
got it uncorked, when that infooriatet
animal commenced \ series nv gyrashen
sich ez the world never witnessed afore
She would elevate her hind legs -theI
paw the air with her fore legs-th7n try
to lay down, and all this with a ruunin
accompaniment nv the most feendisf
snortin.' I wuz compelled to relinquisi
nv holt on the bride, and seeze her man'
to hold myself on, but she kicked NOR
than ever.
Here wuz dilemma! coodent holt
on by grippin' the name with one han'
any longer-and my spare hand wuz em
ployed in holdin the bottlel cooden
cork the bottle and put it in my pocket
for in the melee he'd lost the cork, ane
to put it in my pocket uncorked wuz +
lose all it's preshuz contents. Never wn
in sich strate afore. Eff l held to tn
bottle shood be throwed-ef stayed OF
the infooriated animals back I'd lose m,
likker. The hoss decided the matter TO
me. Takin' the bit in her mouth sh
: started down the road on the keenes
. kind nv a run She made mile in abou
, S minutes, leavin' my command far in tn
rear. Another mile-yet another, spe
that frantic animal, I holdin' onto be
name with one hand, and the bottle wit
/ the other. She wuz already in th
enemy's country. Rite ahead Nv me wu
> Garretstown, and Good see the nigger
> alreddy in the streets watchin' the strang
. apparition that wuz comm. Into th
village I rode, when the vishus broe
turned a corner suddenly, singing m
from his back ez a boy throws stun
. Over and over went, landing finally
/, ditch aside nv the road, where la
clutch;n my bottle, but unconscious.
There was about thirty or forty mis-
8 gers about me, and I wuz lyin' in fror
nv the town pump, and immejitly und'
tho spout thereof. One grsy-headed Mi
Q ger who breaches to the rest Nv 'em r
q lmarkt: 6.
: Bredrin, dis yer misguided man is or
: OBJ dem disturbin ku-kluxes. Wat she
: we do wild him p To5
Hang him hang him ! shouted the
: all in korus.
Mercy mercy T l shreekt in agony.
amt no ku.klux. l.