Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-02-09
"Any more remarksn

aoor." "Any more remarks" says
Ike. -
"Yes sir, Pm agin Yves. for an Office.
He stole my soap-stone and whirly-
|gig,I know he did, an wouldn't trust
him with the money, so wouldn't"
II didn't steal yer things, deed an
double / didn't, y says Wes.
"Yes yer did,
~ say didn't, and I'll lick YOU like
thunder going home, if you don't shut
up"
"Order, gentlemen, ORDER" says Ike,
assuming all the dignity possible.
Dayton was elected by heavy ma
Ijority, and felt much eIated over it.
The President next levied tax of enc
cent apiece, to buy. candles and paper,
land to defray any incidental expenses
that might be necessary. s,tfs.
81 move that we use the Constitution
and Bylaws in the American debater
to govern our debate" 1'a' 4
eEet's name it, !" says Dick.
I All hands seconded the Presidents
motion, and it was named without a
dissenting voice. =
Ike arose and said: Gentlemen, we
are now ready to proceed to debate,
and / move we debate, which is the
most use to man, hOss or cow.
Ike's motion was agreed to, and four
ldisputants selected, two ON either side.
Three judges were then appointed, and
the debate proceeded, Ike making he
opening speech as follows:
l appear before you tonight, to try to
question. The question iss .,sss~
ResOtred; Which is the most useto a
man, a hoss or a COW. Now sirs, say
hOss is a heap more use than aeoW.
How would i get the corn meal from
the mill ifit wasn't for old Punch, to
make mush. / say hosS is more use
than cow, with these few remarks
submit the floor" = :
Tom Luke next appears.
"Mr. President and most Honorable
Judges: / arise before you tonight to
answer the arguments of my worthy
opponent. He axed you how he,dget
the corn meal from the mill without
old Punch, to make mush. I ak him
or anybody else, how in mater he'd eat
his mush If old Witty didn't give 'em
milk? Most honorable Judges you see
which side of the question the argu-
ment is on, and know you'll give u
the decision. Not being very well
posted in this all important question, I
submit the floor to an ADLER speaker" !"
Dick Morris. e i.,.s.,- =.
"Ar. President and most Honorable
Judges: You've heard the felIer on
the other side of this question. He
didn't do anything at all. If couldn't
make a better speech than that Pde
stay at home. We'yejust knocked his
arguments all hOller. Most honorable.
Judges 1 tell you we have gained the
question. The question is:
Resolved; Which is the most useful,
q hoss or a cow. Isay-I say a, hoss-is,
l say-I say.-Mr. President, say
Not having time to post up I'll submit.
the floor 1 guess with these few re-
marks" e.as
Bobby Brier.
Mr.. President d3id Judges: I rise up
before you to make a few remarks on
this all important question, yes sif,
what would become of my worthy OPP
ponents and everybody if it hadn't
been for the cow. Why sir, he'd q
starved to death. Sir Pm on the COW
side of this great question, and Pm
goin' to stick to it. A cow is heap
more use than a hoss. Why sir what
use would hoss be-without a cow Fl
say COW is more use than hoss, cause
a cow gives milk and hoss don't. II
guess that is all / know about coW,
and I'll submit the floor. ,Eassss
The President instructed the Judges
to go out and bring in the decision.
They went out and in about rninnit
returned. aS = ~
"What is your decision ?''
1.-TWO for the cow and one for the
hOss. We knowed the COW would beat
as soon as they picked the question:
4 The COW boys were much elated over
their success, particularly because they
had beaten the President. .i-
Ike announced the selection II al
question for next night, as the Aext}
business in order. III ~ .-S<sf. O.
81 move we debate which is the most
use to a man, a dog or a gum sayst
Wes. Dayton.
This question was accepted and Ike
announced the Speakers, and told all
the rest to have a performance of some
kind for next night.
On motion the debate" adjourned
to meet in one week. 81