The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-08-28

Facts and FancIes.
The poor mans story-The garret.
Mere matter of form-Fitting dress.
To remove stains from characterized
rich.
A hack in Chicago is called n verm-
agery.
stagnation-A nation inhabited mostly
by men.
Schenectady is building u "bridal
chamber" car.
Sponge paper, for dressing wounds, is
n French invention.
The best band to accompany lady
vocalist-A husband.
II you want morning wrapper to
wear for ever never wear it out
Maine has got 10000 tons Of ice for
which she cannot find customer.
II you're asked to take on egg, and
won't, is that an.egg-active reply?
Ballet.girls and geese are the animals
that can stand the longest on one leg.
Why is it that Mount Versuvius never
sleeps? Because it is always yawning.
New Hampshire has twenty-one couples
who hayc been married over fifty years.
The moving and threslling machine
Incident season is very good one thus
fur.
A Georgia baseball umpire, who
failed to give satisfaction, was ridden on
mil.
1t is queer woman who asks no ques.
tons, but the woman who does is the
querist.
The Boston Transcript says that bread
making is among the lost arts of New
England.
The prices of improved farms in Cali.
fornin are lower than they were three
years ago.
Curious to sy, most horse-owners,
when in difficulties, prefer their grnys to
their duns
More than twenty women now claim
that they could have married Bismarck
us well rs not.
In Chicago one can thrash his mother
in-law, under recent decision, for
seventy-fve dollars.
Napolcon's army is said to have re
sembled his moustache, because it was
waxed at both ends.
The daily quantity Of Croten water
which is brought into Gotham amounts
to Sj,0OO,0O0 gallons.
Mosquitoes don't like carbolic acid.
A few drops sprinklcd in II room will
scatter them efiectually.
New arithmetic Chow long shall You
be gone on your vacation, Ned ?" "Oh,
about three shirts time"
A iamily were lately poisoned by eat
ing custard favored with "extract OF
vanilla, rs sold in groceries.
The cpicurean who made dessert Of
the fruits OF an enterprise picked his
teeth with the point Of a joke.
Mrs. Hamset, Of CarthRrge, was kicked
on the chin by mule, causing her to
bite of the cd Of her tongue.
bob, how is your sweetheart getting
along?" "Pretty well, guess she
says l needn't call any more"
The Massachusetts, State Constables are
hereafter to arrest tramps and vagrants
who go from city to city begging.
More than n million pounds Of willow
lcaf were made up at Shanghai, last
season, and palmed of rs green tea.
When we become heirs it does no
follow that Mrs become us-still less tim
millionaire's should put on million airs
No people under heaven can excel the
Americans in the manly art Of sitting on
n bench and seeing eighteen men plny
ball.
An accommodating clerk in Troy releases
all the "drunks" who pay him $40. II
will take more than that to release him,
though.
In ancient Rome the nearest friend Of
n dying person received by kiss, his
soul MS it escaped through the lips at
the last expiration.
victoria's daughter, Crown Princess Of
Prussia, is growing fat, like her mother.
She is thirty-one years old, aud has given
birth to SIX children.
Asia, the birthplace of the human
family and the largest and most populous
of the continents, is just now the prey of
earth's direct ills-war, pestilence, and
famine.
During game OF base ball ut Tamn
City, Iowa, the batter, in throwing back
his club for n telling stroke, hit the
catcher in the temple, killing him in.
stantly.
Many ladies' are walking around with
crutches or cane, the effect OF having
mistaken their own foot for croquet
ball, and making efrectual strokes ut II
with their mallet,
Tcrre Haute, Ind, has law against
hitching horses to shade-trees, and n
case is to be tested whether man can be
arrested for hitching his horse to his
own shade treee.
Buy in the cheapest market. Sell in
the dearest The number OF children
the workmen employed by you may
may have is nothing to you. The nNm-
Der you have yourself is.
It is said tho hero Of tho exploit OF
bringing three kegs Of gunpowder out Of
n burning grocery, was laboring under u
mistako-he thought it was brandy.
Thus arc our idols shiyered !
All Sing, All Hay, All Fat All Youey,
All Tuck, ALI Yonck, All Kuey and All
King, cigar manufacturers, Of San Fran.
cisco, have all been fined and imprisoned
for violating the revenue laws,