The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05


"I'll take $3.50 down, and mortgage
on the balance in one year."
Sambo scratched his head moment
and replied: II say, boss, 'spose fell
hain't got no morgitch ?"
The agent explained, but the darkey
couldn't see it, and disclaimed the
ownership of single "morgitch."
The other darkey here came to the
rescue, and "lucidated the pint" Says
he: "Sambo, don't you know what a
morgitch is Den I'll tell yer. A NOR
glitch is jest like dis yer. 'Spose yer
pays de boss $3.50 down; den yer gives
yer word on de honor of nigger that
yer'll pay him the udder $3.50 in a
year. Den 'spose on de last day of de
year yer pays de boss $449--and don't
pay de udder dollar, why den de NOR
glitch says de boss can jes take all de
money and de land, and you don't hab
nufiin-not a cent. Golly, boss a
morgitch makes a niger mitey hon
est"
A correspondent writes to a cotem-
porary the following about some of the
curious popular names given TO the
New York churches: plymouth
Church is called simply 'Beecher's.'
DIR. Storr's Church, owing to the pecu-
liar form of the steeple, is known as
the Church of the Holy Corncob.'
Mr.. Talmadge's Tabernacle is called
the Church of the Hip2odrome.' One
of the Old School Churches, stiff in
doctrine, is known as the 'Old Fur
mace A Baptist Church which makes
a specially of the ordinance, announc-
ing it ever Sunday, is known as the
Church of the Holy Bath A Uni
tartan Church, low building, with its
different parts drawn out like tele-
scope, is called the Church of the Holy
Turtle DIR. Bellows Church, built OF
alternate layers of red and white, is
known as the Church of the Holy Ze-
bra.' To raise funds to pay off a
church debt one of our religious socie-
ties held fair, at which dancing was
made prominent. The society was i'm
mediately christened the Church OF
St. Vitus.'
The latest story from Massachusetts
comes from Lynn, and is of battle
between toads and frogs. The contest
is thus described by the man who saw
it in a pond in that neighborhood
"Around the margin of the pond, in
the water, there was a.large collection
of common toads close beside them
was an equally large gathering of bull.
frogs, and battle between the two
was in progress. The frogs, being the
most powerful, were busily engaged
in drowning the toads. One or more
frogs would seize toad and hold his
head under water until he was drowned.
Sometimes frog would find that he
was overmatcheed, and then he would
utter a peculiar sound, when one or
more of his comrades would come to
his aid, and the toad was sure to 90
under, never to rise again, This bat
tie continued for several minutes, un-
til the toads were completely cleaned
out, when the frogs Joined in one tri-
umphal croak, as though they had
achieved victory over mortal enemies.
The scene was most singular one, and
such as is rarely witnessed"
A curious story is told of three
young candidates for Scottish minis
try. The first one put upon his trial,
while putting on his robes, happened
to descry an ancient-looking, well-worn
roll of paper, which proved to be a
sermon upon the text, "Jacob was a
plain man, dwelling in tents" Seeing
that the old sermon was much better
than his new one, the aspirant to pull
pit honors took possession of it, deliv-
it as his own, and then returned it to
its old resting place. The sermon was
a good one, and pleased the hearers,
although they would have preferred
one delivered without book. Great
was their astonishment the following
Sunday, when preacher No. 2 treated
them with the same sermon from the
same text; but it was too much for
Scottish patience when a third minister,
falling into the same trap, commenced
his sermon by announcing that "Jacob
was plain man, dwelling in tents :"
and one old woman relieved the feel
ings of her fellow-sufferers by exclaim-
ing: "De'il dwell him is he never
gaun to fit p
A short time ago lady and gentle
man were married very quietly in the
country, and proceeded in their car
riage to spend the honeymoon among
the lakes, the gentleman giving strict
orders to his Irish footman on no ac-
count to state to inquirers that they
were newly married. When leaving
the first inn on the road the happy
couple were much astonished and an
noyed to find the servants all assem-
bled, and, pointing to the gentleman.
mysteriously oxclaiming, That's him ?
That's the manp On reaching the
next stage the indignant master told
his servant that he had divulged what
he had impressed upon him as a secret,
and had told the servants at the last
inn they were a new married couple.
"Be jabers, an it's not true, yer hon
or" replied the servant 81 tould the
whole kit that yer honor and honor's
lady (God bless her y wouldn't be
married yet for fortnight"