The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1871-06-16
SUIT L0vingood's Shirt.


You know l boards with Bill Carr
at his cabin on the mountains, and pays
for sich as gifts when have the mon.
ey and sich rs gifts when havm't any,
why lie takes Onc-third out of me cussin,
and she, that's his wife Bets, takes out
't0ther two-thirds with her battlim stick,
and the interests moro than than tho
principal = q heap more. She IS the Gus.
sedis: woman l ever seed anyhow, for
jaw and pride. She can scoid blister
into bulls face right on the curl in
two minutes and pattern after every
fashion she hears tell Of from bussels to
britc!,cs. Oh! she's one of 'cm, and
Q sometimes two or three.
Well, you see got some cotton truck
to make shirt Outen, aud ccaxed Bets
to make it, aud about the time it was
done here comes lawyer Johnson along
and AXIS for breakfast. / wish II had
piscmcd him, durn his hide, and I wun.
der it didn't, for she cooks awful mix
Gus when she tries. I'm pizcn proof
myself, or I'D been ded long ago.
Well, while we were catim' she spied
out that his shirt was stiff and slick so
she never rested until she worried out
Of him that preparation Of -four did II,
and she got few particulars about tho
proceedings 0uten him, and set in and
billed big pot Of paste nigh unto
peck Of it and s0used in my shirt and
let it soak while then she took It aud
iromed il out fiat and dry, and sot It up
against the cabin IN the sun. Thar It
stood as stiff a. dried hoss hide, and Il
ratified like sheet irom-it did. It was
pasted together all over. When como
to dinner nothing would do her but I
must put it on. Well, Bets and me got
the thing open after hard work, she
a pulling ut one side Of the tail and mo
ut the other, and got into It. Durn
that new tangled shirt, l say. l lfclt like
I had crawIcd into bee gum and 1t full
Of ants but it was like lawyer J0hns0n's
and stood II like man, aud l went to
work 10 build Bets an ash hopper. l
worked powerful hard, and swctted like
a hoss, and when the ehirt got wet 1t
quit hurtin.
After 1 got done I took about four
fingers Of rcd eye and crawled up IN tho
cabin loft to take snOozc. We'll, when
walked up thought was dead or had
the cholera, for all the jimts l could
move war my anclcs, wrists and knees
could not move my head nor scarcely
wink my eve the cusscd shirt was past.
led fast onto me nil over from tho ends Of
;; the tail to the pints OF the broad Ak collar
! over my ears. IL sot as close to me aa
1.-The hide on poor cOM,e hack An Mass'i'.
T II Struimetl aud -<iurmcd I'LL 1 sortcr gO(
lit broke at the shoulders and elbows,
and then dun the dnrndcst foolishcsl
thing I ever done in the mountains.
:. shufIlcd my britclcs off and tore loose
from my hide about two inches of the
tail all around in much pain and tribn.
Ilatiom. Oh! but it did hurt. Then
tuck up plank inter the loft and hung
my legs down through the hole and
nailed the front edge Of the shirt to tht
floor IN front Of me and the hind tail
nailed the plank l sot on, then unbut
=. tened the collar and wristbands, raised
my eyes, said grace, and then jumped 4
In the ground floor.
- Here Sut remarked sadly. George
I'm darndcr fool than ever dad was
= Ihoss, hornets nests, and all. III drow,
t. my self one Of these days, sec if don't,
= !. OFF,"
= t-h-i-n.k it did! heard a nois'
!, like tearing shinglc roof Nv hous'
- all at woMst, and felt that my bOnc
!: were all that reached the floor. ! stag
~ ycred 10 my feet and took look al M!
- shirt. The nails had hclt their hold. aat
4 thar ii was hanging, arm down, insid
i, out. stiff as ever just like the arm,
~ Of Mexico after one their first battles
\, patch of hide just about the size Of
II dollar bill here, and bunch Of hair JUS
- about the size of bird thar, then SOM
- \, more har, then skin, and then 50 OH al
- " over the new tangled. everlasting. IN
(, iernal. cmsscd shirt. 1t was q picture q
- look Mt and SO was I. The hide, har ant
a. paste was about equally divided bctwee'
:. inc and II. Wonder what Bets, dar'
% " her, thought when she come home ant
n found me missin'. Spects she thinks
I" crawlcd into a thickct and died OF m
!. ~ wounds. 1t must have scared her gooe
N for it looked like the skin OF will
= beast torn off alive. Darn lawyer John
r.. son and his new tangled shirt.