Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-07-27

L cLbCTCu IOoul tilstl llsil OuCt bttn
devoted to the sale of Intoxicating drinks
II vet retained its counter and odor
Ones nostrils recognized the spirit of de-
parted cocktails and mint,juieps that per-
vaded the atmosphere, mingling with the
vile smell of old cigars. The educated
swine was not visible but certain emin-
ent statesmen, distinguished by their
thirst for knowledge, were of the audi
ence A consumptive young man labored
steadily at a hand-organ that gave us the air
Of "Shoo Fly" as if the air of "Shoo Fly"
was being jolted over stumpy corduroy
road In the pauses of this orchestra
that came kindly to our relief we heard
certain snorcs and grunts, indicating that
the learned beast of tusks and bristles was
reposing from his labolious studies un-
to the known audience.
When ,Ae room was sufficiently filed,
the consumptive orchestra abandoned his
post. and. going TO the door. relieved the
gentleman who had expressed the sage
opinioh touching the tendency counter
felt currency had to gravi;ate to the
learned swine. This taker-in of dimes
and curious people proceeded in business
like manner TO the counter, and rapping on
the side, ordered the educated pork, un-
der the ndp,e of Ben" 10 come forth. A
grunt Of recognition was the only response.
4 louder rap and a more imperative order
brought a series of grtnts, that 10 those
acquainted with hog-languagc meant re-
monsirance; whercupon the lecturer
reached under and administered certain
blows that brought out squeal and the
learned shote. He was of the species
known at the West as "saw back" and
described in the language of the region as
slab sided, long shouted, and spindle
legged" OF the sort TO break man ;
heart, if that heart was bent upon adding
some adipose 20 the bone and muscle, so
as 10 brsng on, the pork in neschantab!e
! euan'i;ies. rl4
lie had, however, al intellectual cy
preston Of force, and it was really comic
al 70 see the poor animal swapping his
Jaws together With tha. emphasis peculiar
to an indigant porker, aiid all the while
cyeing ntm ur1cr Lii lor-ears the hclder
Of the rs,'an,
"I.al.ics and gentlemen" begen the g.
hihitor, this animal Is the most intclii-
gent and best edica;ed hog in the world.
There bc some pigs on exhibit that pre-
tend to be edicated pigs, and Idon't deny
that such Creatures have claims but eli
cation, ladies' and gentlemen, to be Won
,leTfill, must have Il s1cMd basis-an 6. Il.
NOW what do mean by S. b. I mean
mind mean brain. Without the g. b.
what's a man. let alone hog? Why.
he's an edicaied ass This hog. ladies and
gentlemen, has nind-he has edicated
mind. lie can tell the time of day. He
can play poker eTuai to am Congressman.
fle can tell the age ofGD individual so as
u please the ladies and astonisb the gen
tlcmen. And dnn't he know Honor?
Well. maybe he don't. But just try HIM.
that 5 all and 'yoI don't find him drunk
as Senator why constipate my diges-
ton, that S all. Now, Ben, wide awake,
old fellow; eyes os Delaware and my
stick are on you; a-tonish these intellect
ual encycl 'pclias o. honloscae.u- locc
mo,i0n."
This amazing use of heavy English cyi-
IDENTIFY impressed Ben with the belief that
his exhibitor wds swearing violently, and
he set about his tasks with Il cheerful
alacriiy that was manifested by con.in-
uoas twisting and untwis;ing of the ciu-
dal sppendage, accompanied by series of
,,runis that told or his anxiety. lie gave
Us the time with accuracy. and as for
ages, Bcn's c,ilcaiion was perfect. lie
invariably BATTERED the ladies by reporting
their years 10 be about half the number
S nature had allowed them, while the men
were made so old that the sting was re-
moved in the absurlity His games of
poker and cid sledge brought down the
house, they were 50 dcxtcroas AMI per-
, feet
After the audience had retired, yet
fingered on The threshold. was 10th to
leave specimen of hog SO entertaining as
this Ben. TO learn something more, !
approached the odd specimen of humani-
fy, and earnestly invited him to little re-
freshment at Harvey's. sConsenting. we
were soon seated. and led him over his
lager and oysters to the subject we were
both so interested in. i have had in my
5 time all sorts of table-talk, from horses to
swine; but for the first time had full
! dish Of hog talk.
Now, Emy dear sir" said leaning
: over conidentn.liy, with my face braced
between my two hands and my elbows
l planted on the table, "how tinder heaven
1 do you manage to instruct hogg"
Easy enough. Cap when you once get
y the hang of it,"
"And how:'
. The hang of it lies in the feed. The
9 road to hogs intellect lies through his
, stomach. A low diet with high culture
r is my motto"
r "And how did you make this wonder
1 fiil discovery" 80
] Easy enough. had a cousin in the
$ show business, and he used to tell me
e how they edicated the animals. The first
5 thing. Cousin Jack said, was to get your
d animals that had turn for things natural
D ly smart, you know. Well, l turned that
: over in my mind, for was bound to make
a raise. The old farm had run under un-
: til it looked like WIDOWS well. While
!, l was thinking about it, observed hog.
y He was the cunningest hog ever set on
a hoofs. He belonged to an old nigger, and
/ had an eye to cultivating our farm. FL
: there was a hole he'd find it; and eff there
!, was no hotel he'd make it; and eff he