The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1871-06-03
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
FOUR LETTERS.

Mr. BRowx.-In haste, dear sur, repli
tcw yur letter thusly:
Jews harps are one stringcd instrument,
held between the teeth, blowed on gently,
and ticklcd with the fore c-finger. The mu.
six which they yield is balmy, but looses
much of its mellonncss unless played upon
bi bull frog. l hav listened for hours ut q
bull. frog playing on Jews harp, and wept
like child. This is the kind ov musk that
enters mi soul like sister Of charity out Ov
q JOB.
for a rat iz toasted cheeze, and the best kind
ov a trap IL the one that will kctch them
the Oftcnest and hang on to them the most.
1t amt always q sure thing tew ketch a
rat by the tale, hav known them to bite
oph their tale just outside ov the jaws 0v
the trap. and thus save their rat meat.
Bob. tailed rats hav ceased to be q curi0s.
ity tew me long ago.
Once should hav looked upon a bob.
tailed rat with mingled fcclins Of pity and
surprise. but them daze hav fled from me; !
look upon Q bob tailed rat now, as close
bizncss transacshun.
Rats are very prolific; one pare ov as
sorted rats will keep family in rats for
years.
Rats IL very easy to keep; there aint but
them phew things arc locked up.
Rats arc not tubjict OF diet in this coun-
try, but am told hi missionaries that rat pi
is thick in China.
I shouldn't wonder if rat pi might be
good, but hav alwus accustomed myself
to plain vttils
MISTER BARTLETT.-ova all tho animals
who wuZ brought akrOst the waters intew
this country bi that CRATE improver Ov the
breed Ov cattle, Noah, consider the COW
the most respectable.
A COW IL kind ov old aunt in the family.
don't kn0 Ov u more honest and salu.
briOus sight than brindlc COW that won't
Xix. and who gives ten quarts ov milk that
amt wGtcrcd.
1t IL uncommon hard to git COW to Civ
milk that ain't watcred now daze; there IL
crate difference in cows about this.
1t iz sed the cowcumbcr derives its name
from the COW; but whether this IL SO or
not, kant find out.
Probably it IL, because they resemble the
COW so much.
The cowcumbcr Gums under the he'd ov
vine, and the vine kan beat every vine run.
ming. for one hundred yards, in America,
after it gifts started.
They are little balky abou. starting.
hav knowed o cowcumbcr vine to run
Is foot in one night, besides giving birth to
seven young cowcumbers on the way.
Cowcumbcrs kut up into thin slices, and
rolled in pepper and salt, and soaked in vim.
cgar, are good for sharp pain in the heb
dominal region.
A cowcumber IL about the only thing
kan remember Ov now that IL good fur
nuthin after it reaches pcrfecshun.
MISTER BoGGs.-Yure letter informing
me ov the loss ov yure dog, reached me by
male.
kno how to commune with you, Boggs,
for hav been deprived Of u dog once,
myself.
1 lost most flattering purp on tho 10th
ov March. three years ago.
found him dcd in vakant lot, near mi
house.
He probably had bin struck with ligh:nin
or sumthin else.
He wuz most gifted purp. and could
jerk night-gown oph from clothcs.lnc,
Or worry u goose. most butitul tcw behold.
Tiger wuZ hiZ fust name.
Lav made up my mind never to own
emmy more dog.
Dog comfort, in this world, IL like all
other joy, liable to leak.
Human happiness is skasc emmy how, and
wants too much watching To bc invested in
York Weekly.