The true northerner., 1871-01-13
OLA -PODRIDA.

Croesus in his face.
Albion young ladies have burned up their
chignons.
The astronomers have been out foraging
again, an caught a new comet.
A yermonter insists that women's tears
will draw "heftier" load than any steers he
ever broke in.
Denver beasts OF an abundance Of game
old sledge, faro, and sch, being the most pre-
valent, we suppose.
The New Years gift of the Frenchmen of
California was 100, 900 francs. Gambetta sends
an enthusiastic reply.
"A New-Yorker has dog which he has NAM
ed Peanuts, on account OF the thinness OF his
bark.
talented New York barkeepers compound
twenty different varieties OF ''fancy
drinks"
The President Of the Northwestern Suf
frage Association, Mrs. Hazett, is al Alumna
of Albion College.
Oliver Wendell Holmes callsa kiss isping
consonant. He should have added also, that
it followed a Uo1oal.
A New Yorker who adores female lowell
ness by the ton and doats on the dulcet music
of locomotive whistles, has cbristened one Of
his ships Parepa.'
The Fifteenth amendment OF Spartans-
burg, Indiana, whose iron poker was broken by
coming in contact with a neighbor Spartan's
head, threatens suit TO recover the value of the
Implement.
"A good-loolung "school marm," at Koko-
mo, whose lover proved faithless, has had her
grief assuaged by the recovery Of 20, 500.
A London druggist has this cheerful invi
tation in his shop window "Come in and get
twelve emetics for one shlling!"
An editor in the West, whose journal
event up" some years since. has been selling
his exchanges to paper mill ever since, real
lzing considerable income.
No Buts.--"Pa," said lad to his father,
II have often read of people poor but honest ~
"Tut. tut, my son, nobody would believe
them" answered the father.
gentleman of little girl. 'Yes, SIR it's the
oolispsr Of a laugh"
An Illinois Postmaster gives notice as fol-
lows: AFTER this date everybody must lick
their own postage stamps, as my tongues give
out"
Mr.. Lorenzo Day OF Chickasaw count y,
Miss, having married Miss Martha Week, q
local poet comments
"A Day is made, Week is lost,
But time should not complain
There'll sooA be little Days enough
TO make the week again.
A Connecticut pastor declined an addition
Of e100 to his salary, for the reason. among
others, that the hardest part Of his labor here
tofore had been the collection OF his salary, and
1t would kill him to collect 800 more.
"A vain female party in New Mexico endeav.
ored to pass herself off on tho censustaker Of
| only 10S, in face Of the fact that she had
granddaughter aged 80.
Fourteen hundred and eighty three mar
| riage licenses were issued in the District OF
Columbia during 1870 forty-three divorce
cases were filed during the same period, elgh.
teen divorces granted, five dismissed, and the
remainder are pending.
The Boston merchants. on trial for SNUG.
| CLING nutmegs, are exhorted to go back to the
old orthdox manufacture OF wooden ones, and
thus give the proper encouragement to 'home
! industry" and evade future trouble with the
Custom-House people.
"A clergyman, reading chapter of the Bibl,
for his congregation found hms elf at the bot
tom Of the page with the words, "And the Lore
gave Noah a wife," then, turning over two
pages instead on one, he continued, ''and b.
| pitched her within and without with pitch"
--'I find Dick, that you are In the habit O
taking my Jokes and passing them of as you
own. Do you call that gentlema My conduct ?
ITO be sure do Tom. A true gentleman viii
always take joke from 6 friend"
"A farmers boy on Muscatne Island, Iowa
has very large rat, which he has domesticated
and trained to do very amusing things, among
them the getting up on its hiad feet, and, at q
signal from it's master, attempting to crow like
q rooster. The rat will follow the boy as q
puppy does it's master.
An old Lady, who recently visited Oneids
was asked, on her return. if the canal passed
through the village. She paused awhile, and
answered: 81 guess mott didn't see it anC
If it did, it must have gone through in the
night, when was asleep"
Two lawyers, when knotty case was o er
shook hands, and we're as friendly as before
"Zounds!" said the client, Il would fain know
You can be friends, who were such foes just
! now 2"
Thou foo!' said one, 1--WE lawyers, though SC
| keen,
Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but what's be.
| tween"
New England ls suffering from protracted
drought, the cold weather having set in with
out tho usual fall rains. Wells are drying up
everywhere, factories are stopping for want OF
power, streams are shrunk to the very lowest
water mark, and a general apprehension pre-