Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-05-05
Gcneralities.


In Missouri Is chrouicled the
wedding of widower, aged 5s, with
bride of IL.
Schuyler Colfax is now regarded
both here and I'm England, as the
best parliamentarian In the world.
The Boston Post knows OF a
young man in that city, who smokes
$4,000 worth of cigars In year.
Horrible Accident was the
heading for marriage notice In q
Wisconsin paper.
A criminal lawyer In New York
boasts OF criminal practice OF Ss2,-
900 per annum.
Philadelphia has q little over
l4s miles OF city railways, which
last year carried nearly 55,000,000
passengers, receiving over 81 ,O00, 900,
and spent $2,55o,505. ..s..
Minister washburne writes TO
the State Department that the pros
pect Is that the present civil war at
PaIis will close only with the ex-
haustion of the national energies.
The New York Tribune employs
between 400 and 500 persons as wri-
ters, printers, &c. The total cost OF
its production the first week OF its
existence was S5o5. It now costs
nearly $50, 900 per week.
The editor of tho Chicago child
ron's paper, received a letter from
a lady subscriber who writes: "Our
little Anna died last week, after
reading the last number of your VAL
liable paper"
When DR.. Mary Walker called
to see General Grant, the other day,
he told her he would hold no COM
munication with her unless she got
ont Of her pantaloons. Mary indig-
nantly retired.
Kansas City reports a lady ns
passing along the main stIeet Of that
town eomposedly putting a cigar,
while her husband, a meek person.
age, walked behind carrying the
baby.
The Methodists Of Little Neck,
Long Island, have ordered the arrest
of their clergyman, for locking up
the parsonage and furniture to secure
his unpaid salary.
"A California man requested his
wife in ball room to hold the baby
of another mans wife, while he
danced with the baby's mother--but
she didn't hold 1t. Some wives are
too disobedient to put up with!
A traveller, we are told, being in
wild country, where he could find
no provisions for himself or dog, cut
Off the dogs tail, and boiled IL for
his own supper, and then gave the
dog the bone.
Among those who went to see the
Cardiff Giant In New Haven, was
middle-aged man who had lost his
brother by a mysterious disappear
ance, and was heard TO murmur, as
he stepped away, "'Taint him!"
"A woman with q child entored
photograph gallery the other day,
and previous to placing IL for pic
ture, the woman subjected 1t to a Wig
orous spanking. 1t was done to get
up fine color in the child face.
"A woman who never owned n
Bible, supposed she was quoting IL
when she greeted her son, who came
home to keep Thanksgiving, In the
following words: "Here comes the
fatted calf"
An ingenious tailor suggests
pockets In gentleman's coat sleeves
for the convenience of ladies to
whom an arm is offered In cold
weather. The invention 10 scarcely
needed q woman is sure to find her
way to n mans pockets wherever
they're placed.
The Woman's Journal sensIbly
says: "The world does not want
women who are good lawyers and
bad mothers, clever physicians and
anfaithful wives, clear headed and
empty hearted, for not from these
shall come complete womanhood.
Somebody advertises for agents
to sell work entitled "Hymeneal
Instructor A contemporary adds
that "the best hymeneal instructor
we know OF IL young widow
What she don't know, there Ia no
use In learning"
"A fond mother In Kingston, N.
Y, keeps an old fashioned rocking
chair sitting In corner as an orna-
ment. because i'm 1t she has rocked
ten babies, all of whom grew up to
be men, and are now living and mar
ried.
The "heart," Is the best card I'm
the chance game Of matrimony--
sometimes overcome by diamonds
and knaves, often won by tricks. ard
occasionally treated In q shuffiing
manner, and then cut altogether,
says woman.
"A Kansas hotel bears tho follows
ing placard: "This hotel IL closed
on account Of difference between
the proprietor and cook, which was
settled with pistols" The proprie-
tors widow declines to continue tho
business.
AN Elmira farmer wrote to Hor-
ace Greeley for his advice as to
whether plaster was good TO put on
potatoes. Horace said he always put
! gravy or butter on potatoes, but he
supposed any one could get accns-
, toned to plaster II they made an ef-
, fort.
"A bachelor says that all he
should ask for in o wite would be u
good temper, sound health, good un-
outstanding, agreeable physiognomy
pretty figure, good connection, do
inestic habits, resources OF amuse-
} ment, good spirits, conversational
I talents, elegant manners, money =