The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-04-23
Morning Star ard Catholic Messenger.
WIT AND WISDOM.


Age is venerable in man, and would be
in woman-if she ever became old.
The horse 10 a curious feeder. He eats
best when he hasn't a bit in his mouth.
Some one asserts on good authority that
tho early bird" caught cold instead of a
worm.
"What kind of a waist has the oceanf
asked fashionable young lady of her
lover. "a watery waste, my DEAR"
The old prOverb, the eye of the master
will do more work than his hands, means
simply, that without his eye his hands
would do next to nothing.
- Three letters that spell brandy-B r and
Y. 1t used TO be speit d V. The favor
it's beverage in Boston, though, is spelled
with q single letter-Red 1.
"What do you know of the character of
this man 2" was asked of a witness at q
police court the other day. What do you
know of his character 81 know it to be
unbleackable, yer honor" replied he, with
emphasis.
~"Hallo, Bob, how are youi" Bob, who
has been in Jail for some months past, an
swers, Very we'll, thank you; but have
been in trouble, you know" "What
trouble allied your" "a trouble past in
durance."
An elderly darby on Texas jury, clad
in a very grimy shirt, was admonished by
the judge that ''gentlemen of the jury"
should be more decently y aparalled. With
irresistible naivete he responded, "Oh,
Golden mighty, massa, amt no gentle
mant"
A young lady at Indianapolis was en-
deavOring to impress upon the minds of
her Sunday school scholars the sin and awful
punishment of Nebuchadnezzor, and when
she said that for seven years he ate grass
like COW, she was astonished by little
girl, who asked, "Did he give milk I"
A schoolboy having been required to
1 write composition on some part of the
Human body, expounded as follows: The
uthroat-A throat ia convenient to have,
Especially to rOOsters and ministers. The
Eformer eats corn, snd then crows with it;
1.-THE latter breaches through his'n, and then
ties it up"
the advent of a child, and to secure his
5fee in the case, which was rather doubtful,
proposed to carry it OF as security. The
newly made mother rather upset the plan
by telling the doctor she would give him
I've dollars to carry it away. That fee has
not been paid yet.
excuse my left hand" said Virgins, as
he shook hands with a friend. "Certainly,
certainly. 1 never take umbrage at ma
ture," was the reply, referring to Ec-
clesiastes, <. 2. The text is, IA wise mans
heart is in his right hand, but a FOOLS heart
they have not spoken since.
NC aiming Residence.-On one occasion
base arose in town meeting as to whether
= bne p. was q legal voter in Colebrook.
After a long discussion Mr.. Beecher arose
Ind said it was the most silly discussion he
lad ever listened to. "Why," said he, :"
AVE known P. to lay drunk in CargilIs
tore at one tim. long enough to gain a
esidence in Colebrook or any other town
b the State"
gentleman riding very ordinary
boxing horse, asked negro whom he met
low far it was to a neighboring town, to
hich he was going. The negro, looking
in of contempt, replied, ovid dat ar
PISS, massa, it's just fO'teen miles. Wild a
bod chunk ob a boss, seben miles, but if
pu iist had Maasa Jimmy's hoss-gosh =
Pu're dare now"
IA schoolmaster, wishing his pupils to
I've clear idea of faith, illustrated it
ps: Here is an apple-you see 1t, and
erefore know it is here /; but when place
binder this tea-cup, you have faith it is
re, though you no longer see it." The
D seemed to understand perfectly, and
next time the master asked them,
hat is faith Z" they answered with one
prd, IAN apple under tea-cup."
man painting the cornice of house in
tford, fell from a ladder, and it was
posed that he was badly hurt. Imme-
fely after the fall a young man ran to
store to inform the painter of the mis-
eune that had overtaken his workman.
" boss" listened to thrilling descrip-
of the fall, and with the ruling passion
| strong within him.. asked anxiously,
bid he spill his paintf"
great proprietor of the north of France,
pm the ply sicians had sent to the Medi-
anean, left, in setting out, power of
brney with his steward, an intelligent
covetous peasant. This man, armed
the precious paper. at once set off to
a notary. " Monsieur Notary" said
"my master has given me the power of
prney; will it serve me to act in his
he Z" "If it is general power of at
ney, of course it will but Lean give no
nion until see it," "Here it is"
This is general power of attorney, and
rfectly correcty" said the notary, after
Aviug read it. !" You can act in place Of
lr master, and transact his business in
hame." every we'll, Monsieur Notary,
your writing materials" "Do you