The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-10-14
VARIETY.

Sehoo boy" Dunno, Miss, bat he's just
etaztel > swearing
Al wa paper quotes the following from the
ke sc County records
8 daughter Ito Sunday school boy.)-
al have an elder brother; well, how old is
fsf
ing lady, who lives in town where mas
fulshes e scarce, smokes because 80 it makes her
E.aeE there was man about"
Fe I'VE heard of but one old woman who
kissed b, cow, but there are thousands of young
ones wh) have kissed great calves.
nan whose wife hanged herself in his pres
enee, ou being asked why he did not prevent the
lrazedg replied 80 L cut her down three times
last k, and l can't be always cutting her
dow
Al shman, wien asked by lady whether
he VJu take a glass of sherry a glass of
VIII lunch, answered that he would take the
sher While 4" her ladyship was mixing the
pnpc-."
IT, ory of lazy sehoolboy, who spelled An
drrv ;kson '' &ru Jaxn,' has been equalled by
= ,i-r wEa wished to mark half a dozen new
shit He marked the first " John Jones - and
the rest do
a quarrelsOme couple were discussing the sub
Jet b oItapbs and tOmbstones, and the husband
SID My dear, what kind of stone do you
suTF0se they will give me when die2' IS Brim-
sore, y loveI" was the affectlonate reply.
Tie Norwich Advertiser selects the following
sinpDria advice to farmers from Z" w hat Know
Abglf ErmingI'' Catch your butterflies late in
Ans1t. Select the deep yellow ones if you would
get go9d sweet, saleable butter.
Al q college examination the students .-ere
asle1 tie meaning of the word L" hypothesis. -
une aan1date answered that it was 50 a machine
for raiei q water Another said it was some
thing b It happened to a man after death.'
a White man running for Office in South Caro-
lip1, lght to prOpitiate colored constituent
witf sky. =. Well, yes, sah,'' said the con-
stiluent q don't care ef duz. Sides, in desc
tiues white candidate is Jest as good as colored
v1'er, ecially when de colored voter is dry"
a Bo ton wife who read in the papers that Sun
dav MAJ riage ceremonies are not legal is in terri
lde troJ BILE. She married her first and second
h1't,pnds on Sunday, her two children were born
on Sunday, and now she sees no way bat to go
fhr0ueh the whole business again in order to get
strtig i with the world.
>-gry Western editor wrote to a poetical
csHft sCndent the other day: IS If you DOM
stor sending to me your abominable poetry, I'll
Fxint a piece of it some day with your name ap-
pended in full, and send a copy to your gal ~
Ihe pOesry from that fountain was quietly dried
up
"a mamma in the rural districts lately gave her
1Te-year-od hopeful outfit OF fishing tackle.
So o. she heard shout from Willie, and running
ttf line in her crop, whittier the hook had al
fesey proceeded it. Willie, observing the troub-
Hd book of his mother. quietly remarked, "Don't
BQkry, mother. guess she will stop when she
esta 70 the pole
One day little girl about five years old heard
Preacher praying most Justify, till the roof rang
WITH the strength of his supplications. Turning
20 per mother, and beckoning the maternal ear to
+. ~ king distance, she whispered, +" Mother,
f1.$t you think that if he was nearer to God he
UolIdn't have to talk so Ioud?''
- q gro witness, horse trial in New Jer-
81 fonrt. was asked to explain the difference be-
~ box stall and common STALL Straight
himself up, he pointed to the square in
IN which the Judge was seated, and said,
-srs what calls a box stall dere whar dat
fpss Is sitting!" 1t took a good many rams
e Judges gravel to restore order in that court.
hrmer who came home suddenly tn Nev
81 and, from Texas, and as a reason for his bastv
fkst rom that southwestern state, he said, .sI
Nas attacked with fever, and my physician be-
E.11l trying on my clothes as soon as he wrote a
rrzsription, and my hired man began to nick mn
- loose property before he d mix the medicine.
That cured me of my malarial fever, and of NV
Iezas fever Also"
Ar.-and having made up their mind that
t1ey will git married IL the Father and Mother
u D illing and ali things being agreeable and
thsT all being perfectly willing and satisfied for
s<s larieg. Mr..
Mrs.
ppanoose Co., Iowa
Laughter is willing to marry
md have allowed it to go on but will not
- responsible for her and him anything they do
~ they are married and if she burns herself
- an sit on the blister and hope god will
s'eN them and the Judge may grant icence she
49, enteen years of age past.
te following mot is making the rounds OF the
z.A pean papers When, at the peace preIimi-
lE7 Is, the sum OF milliards which now seem to
~ lightly on France-was mentioned, Jules
tIre, not exactly bursting into tears as before,
q appeared utterly speechless with horror,
Z "a be had recovered from his parexysm, all
ssk1uld say was that s. even if one were to count
r9r1 the time of Christ till now, one could not
n@tng &c to count such an enormous sum-" Upon
~ a, Bismarck replied, with a smile, Don't
~ tnt distress you. hags thought of that,
.*7 'nsrefore brought this gentleman" pointing
2. <cnroder, the Jewish banker, with me,
.'3 fnts from the creation Of the world