Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1871-03-13

IRISH HUMOR.

OF the wit and humor Of the Irish no one
who sees them on their native soil can
doubt. They are the only peasantry in
Europe who can lay any claim to qualities
that are usually reckoned intellectual
They have more Of the Mental attributes
of Shakspeare's clowns-the least natural
of his wonderful creations--than any liv-
ing mortals unblest of education. The
English, Scotch, German, Italian, and ev-
en- French peasants are the veriest clods
in comparison with the Irish, who say
bright and sharp things without effort or
premeditation. Their ready wit and pow
er OF repartee are extraordinary, and I'M
prove as one journeys toward the South
"gorsoons" and porters and car-drivers
that would have been applauded in the
Academy, and have created envy in the
most exclusive drawing-room. They nev-
er lack for word or a phrase, and have
verbal knack of getting out of quandary
peculiarly their own, as respects both the
knack and the quandary. 1t is a common
saw over there that an. Irishman has the
privilege of speaking twice and can see
the justice of it. He first makes blum
der, as if by design, and then renders the
blunder bright by Illuminating it with
joke.
| remember a colloquy like this in Sack
vile Street between an English tourist
and car-driver: a#
II say, Pat, what are those figures up
there ?r
'An' shure, yer honor. thim's the twelve
apostles"
Twelve apostles, indeed! Why, there
are only four" $50
"O'h now, ye wonldn't have thin all
out at once, would ye? That's the posht-
office, and the rist is inside, yer honor,
sortin' letthers,n
Driving through County Wicklow, and
commenting on what seemed to be the
irregularity of the mile-stones, my car
man remarked:
'.Be gorrah. an they're not mile-stones
at all at all. This is graveyard of the
Miles family, an there was so miny, ye
see, they hadn't names for thin all, an so
they numbered thin, an buried thin
wheriver they could find good shpot,"
And his eye twinklingly inquired if the
conceit We're not good enough for drink
of whisky at the first halting-place.
Giving a bar-maid crown at Limerick
for a mug of ale. the price of which was
but three-pence, she smiled all over her
face, and said:
AN may yer worship niver walnut for
a pound until give ye the change; and l
be afther askin' for pinny of it, rf
Annoyed by a strapping girl, who in
sisted on acting as guide at the Gap of
Dunloe, | gave her shilling on condition
that she would follow me no father. Be-
fore had gone another mile she reap
peared when l reminded her of her prom
| ise.
WILL" she replied, II losht the shillin'
that We was so goohd as to give a poor
gurl the likes o me; and / thought I'd
come back to see if ye hadn't just found
| it."
Ofcourse | handed her another, with
the words, You know, Norah, you are
| telling the truth. but this time you must
keep your word"
AN will We make poor gurl who's
losht her heart toye confess in yer virry face
that she's run two miles over desc rough
rocks to git'anuther look at yer han'som
eyes ?"
A porter at Galway hotel, had with
much trouble prevented an Americans
trunk from going to Belfast instead of
Queenstown, and the ownerrewarded him
with sovereign. The shrewd fellow
held the coin rapturously in his hand few
moments, and then said to the gentleman,
Haven't ye a bit O. shilver about ye? Ye
wouldn't have me shpendin' the likes of
this bayutful gould to drink yer health
wild? Give me a shillin', yer honor, and
I'll kape this to reminder ye by"
In the Valley of Glendalough native,
peering out from one of the ruins of the
tiny Seven Churches, accosted q guide
with "Dinnis, did ye come here thinkin'
they was sayin' mass this morning ?"
81 might have behaved so, We spalpeen,
if hadn't sane the divil lookin' out Of the
windy"
What makes your horse so slow ?" l
asked one day in the Glen of the Downs
of my Celtic Jehu.
''It's out of respict to the bayutiful san
cry, yer honor: he wants to see it all. An
thin he's an intelligent good company, an
wants to kape the likes o. ye in beloved
ould Ireland as long as he kin. From
Pictures of Ireland" by JUNIUs HENRI
RRowNE in H11'Der'S M110 ,i,ae for Mnrcb