Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-08-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A SOFT BLow-A gentle breeze.

A SOFT BLow-A gentle breeze.
A ROOTED SoRRow-The toothache.
FoRETHoUGHT and Prudence both say
insure your life. Take their advice, and
insure In the Washington.
THERE are fourteen Americans studying
at the University of Leipsic, and sixty
seven at Berlin.
MAKE friends with life insurance, that
when you are old it may comfort YOU
Insure with the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
FLORIDA Furnishes her criminals by
prison diet of ham and eggs They have
to turn out the military three or four times
week to keep the outsiders from breaking
into the penitentiary.
The following is from the Terre Haute
MAJ =: "If the party who plays the ac-
cordion in this vicinity at nights will only
change his tune occasionally, or sit where
We can scald him when the engine has
steam on, he will hear of something to his
advantage"
A wITEss under cross-examination, who
had been tortured by lawyer for several
hours, at last asked for drink of water.
There" said the Jujge, 81 think you'd
better let that witness go now, as you have
pumped him dry"
A GENTLEMAN of Dubuque sent up a
little red balloon labeled so that it should
be known who sent it and where from
In less than a week he received a letter
from Akron, Ohio, that it had arrived
there, five hundred miles from where it
started.
Four young Scotchmen living in Kan
sas City, Mo-, advertise i'll the Edinburg
Scotsman that they " find it difficult to
conform 10 the usages of American So
ciety," and, in order to "revive the good
old associations of former days." long to
correspond with "a limited number of
bonnie lasses Of culture and refinement in
their native land"
An "oracle at New Orleans, discours-
ing on the wonders of the Mississippi,
mentioned the iron coffin of De Soto,
containing the golden trumpet given him
by Queen Victoria. "Whatp exclaimed
Queen Victoria" "Why; she wasn't
born then by two hundred years or more"
81 don't care if she wasn't" was the bold
reply; Z" reckon she could leave it in her
will"
The Rochester Democrat is slightly sar-
castle on a railroad line in that vicinity
1t says that gentleman took the train
few DAYS ago on what is termed the
Huckleberry road" running between
Avon and Mount Morris. After the train
started from Avon he discovered that he
had left a valuable dog behind, but on ar
irving at Mount Morris the lost dog was
found sitting at the station awaiting the
arrival of his master.
LOGIC
1Tis st ange, but true, that common cat
Has got ten tdiis-just think of thatl
Don't see 1t, eh? The fact is Ilan,
To prove 1t so rise i explain.
We say: A cat has but one tail
Behold how logic lifts the veil:
Nocat has nine tails: don't yousee
one cat has one tail more than shel
Now add the one tail to the nine,
You'll ind a full ten-tailed fell e.
As Holmes has said in his " One horse Shay"
Logic is logic, that's all say.
A FOREMAN of one of our factories was
aggravated by the action of O new hand
who failed to perform his duty right,
although repeatedly explained 10 him. He
told him what he thought of men who
did as he was doing mentioned the torrid
zone, and dipped to the very roots of the
English language for vigor of expression,
and then suddenly and quietly withdrew
on being informed that the anxious lis
tener was deaf mute.-DanbUry NetcS.
ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS tells us
| IQdL ''Inc average young WOiuhn SpcEOs
enough inventive power, enough financial
shrewdness, enough close foresight,
enough perturbation OF spirit, enough
presence of mind, enough patience of hope
and anguish of regret upon one seasons
OUTFIT hsd almost said upon one single
street suit-to make an excellent bank
cashier, or a comfortable graduate of
theological seminary"
A CORRESPONDENT writes to an ex-
change, inqulring "whst is the best treat
ment to prevent the development of hy-
drophobia in Dogs" and is answered as fol-
lows: Don't really know about the best,
but if you will give your dog water
enough it is pretty certain he can't have
the disease. The safest way to insure him
an abundance of this indispensable fluid is
to anchor him in about seven feet of
water, so that his head will be from
eighteen to twenty-five inches below the
surface. In that way he can drink as
much as he wants. Any surplus he may
chance to swallow will do more good than
harm.
APRoPos of the stage of life behind
scenes, the Philadelphia Telegraph says:
ave have heard Mr.. Murdoch tell of a
choice lot of patriots he was leading in
| some place or other, who had, with infln-
ite care, been drilled to make certain ex-
carnations in set order. But brains to
adapt themselves to the situation they had
not. MIR. Murdoch made an inadvertant
transposition of his own lines, and the fol
lowing short but emphatic dialogue was
the result: Hero-Would ye be slaves
Shouters-We wouldl we would! Hero
(finding it too late to cry back, and trust
ing to luck)-Would ye be free men
Shouters-We'd die irstl
| Sc Ahfro II
lustrated in the experience of missionary
of the American Sunday School Union, In
a Western State: "At the first settlement
came to I found that there had never been
a Sunday.shool in that region, and the
people could hardly understand what
wanted. One had never seen Sunday
school, and thought there must be some
trick about it. Having some books with
me proposed to give him one. No, sir,
I don't want it; can't afford it; for !
know, if I take it, there will be some sort oil
officer after taxes on it. / wrote on the
fly-leaf No tax to be collected on this
book and then he consented to take IT.
Ara recent meeting of the Chamber oi
Commerce of South Bradford, England, II
was reported that the growth of wool IN
Australia was increasing every year. The
total imports of sheep and lambs wool into
Great Britain amounted to III, DOL ,3ot
pounds in the first six months OF 1871
against 169 S21, $40 pounds in 1870 ant
144,174,733 pounds in 1869. In these TO
tails tbe Australian wool amounted to 134,
735,2 ,2SS pounds during corresponding pc
RODS in 1871 against 135 .92S 213 pounds II
1870 and 1O3, III, ,s27 pounds in 1869; The
value of the imports of wool from Austria
lis now amount to from 81 SOC, 600 to $40,
100000 q month.
THE other day the rare sight was pre-
sented here of soft lobster just out6
his old clothes, and his cast-off shell bl
. his side. He was foolish enough to creeE
! in lobster net Just before he took off hi
, overcoat, and was captured soft and fresh
Lobsters cast their shells once year, dur
} ing their growing period. Some time be
: | 60 .bax, are verv restless and uneasy