The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-05-02
A Slack Husband Puni shed d.

| MI. MocltatlOD, sald my grand
mother, 81 have had no wood to burn
to-day. What shall do?"
"Oh send Louisa round to pick up
some" said the good man, making a
strike towards the door.
"But she has picked up all she can
fnd."
"lhen let her break up some old
stuff"
"But she has broken up everything
already"
"Oh we'll, then DO the next best
thing-I must be off," said the farmer;
and no doubt wondering in his heart
what the next best thing would turn
out to be.
Nom came, and with it came my
grandfather and his four hungry la
borers. My mother stood in the kitch.
en-, spinning on her great wheel, and
singing a pleasant ditty; Louisa sat
securing tins in the back room, and
the cat sat purring on the hearth be-
fore black and fireless chimney, while
the table sat in the middle of the
room, spread for dinner, but with
empty dishes.
"Well, wife, we are here" said my
grandfather, cheerfully.
$50 l see," replied she placidly.
Have you had good morning in the
cornfield ?"
"Why, yes, $3.50. But where is the
dinner?"
"In the pot on the doorstep. Won't
you see if 1t is done yet?"
And on the door step, to be sure,
sat the great iron pot, nicely covered,
but not looking particularly steamv.
My grandfather raised the cover, and
there lay all the ingrediments of a
nice boiled dinner-everything pre-
pared in the incest manner, and the
pot filed with the clearest of water;
and all the vegetables and meat as raw
as they ever had been My grandfath.
er joined, another roll Of yarn upon
her distaff, and began another verse of
her song.
"Why woman, what does this
mean ?" began my granfather, indig.
nantly. This dinner isn't cooked at
ALL"
Dear me is it not p asked the good
wife in pretended astonishment "Why
it has set in the sun these four hours
"Set in the sun ?"
eyes; you told me to try the next
best thing to having a fire, and
thought setting my dinner in the sun
was about that"
My grandfather stood doubtful for
a momont; but finally his sense of
humor overcame his sense of injury,
and he laughed aloud. Then picking
up his hat, said:
Come, we might just as well
start for the woods, we shall have
no dinner until we have earned it,
perceive."
"Won't you have some bread and
cheese before you go?" asked my
grandmother generous in her victory,
as women always are. And SO she
won the day.
The cellar stairs in the old farm
house had become broken and so un-
safe that my grandmother besieged
her husband, early aud late, to repair
them, lest some accident should hap
pen. He always promised to do so,
and always forgot to fulfill his promise.
At last my grandmother fell in going
down, and spilled the milk she was
carrying.
"Are you hurt?' asked my grand
father smoking beside the FIRE.
"No matter whether am or not"
replied the angry housewife, re.appear-
ing with her empty pan. "This is the
last time carry milk down those
stairs until they are mended."
"Please yourself, and find the next
best way to get it down" said the hus-
band, vexed at her tone.
81 will" said my grandmother, and |
she was as good as her worl. The
next evening my grandfather went
down cellar 10 draw some cider.
"What in thunder!" exclaimed he
worse, | can assure you, for
he was not protane man. "What in
thunder is the matter down here
Why, woman, your milk is the cellar
bottom
as it2" replied my grandmother,
tranquility.
"Well thing that is likely enough,
alling so far"
Failing so far! What do you mean?"
What you know | said | shouldn't
carry the milk over those broken stairs
again, and you to told me to try the
next best way in getting it down, so /
took up board in the kitchen floor,
thr4w down the pans and strained the
milk down into them"
Those cellar stairs were mended the
next day.
The Richmond, Va, State Jour
nal states it is reliable fact that hun.