Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1871-09-16
Pats Colt.

dote:
When my grandfather resided at Goffstown
and Derryfold, then settled by the Irish he
hired wild sort Of an Irishman to work on
bis farm. One day soon after his arrival, he
told him to take bride and go out in the
field and catch the black colt.
C Don't come without him." said the old
gentleman.
Patrick started and was gone some time,
and at last returned without the bride, with
bis face and hands badly scratched, as though
he bad received bad treatment
Why, Patrick, what is the matter what
in the world ails your
An faith, isn't it me, your honor that never
viii catch the old black colt again? Bad luck
to him An didn't he all but scratch the eyes
out Of my head ? An faith as true as my
shoulders my own, had to climb up the tree
after the coltp
" Nonsense? Where is the beast"
"An' its tied to the tree he is to be shure,
yer honor"
We all followed Patrick to the spot to get a
solution Of the difficulty, and on reaching the
field We found that bel had been chasing a young
Black bear, which he had succeeded in catching
Bruin was kept for a long time, and was ever
known as Patrick's colt
A hberal-minded Boston tourist handed a
half dollar to a rough looking Nevada miner,
who had politely shown him through shaft
Stranger how much are you worth ?" iuquir-
cd Nevada. "Well about twenty-five thou
sand dollars replied Boston. "Then guess
won't take your half dollar. made two
hundred and ffty-thousand dollars here my
self last month" Boston retired in demon
allied condition.
A gentleman who had taken the horse cars
for the Worcester Depot in Boston, incumbered
with manifold bags and parcels, reached the
bell-rOpe with an effort when he wished to get
OF, gayea vigorous pull, the result was a sharp
ring from both bells What are you
ringing both ends for?" was the discouteous
and surly inquiry Of the conductor. Because
l wish the car to stop at both ends was the
quiet reply that leit conyulssd car load and
discom6tted conductor.
John Ditto is the name Of a Buffalo city en-
gineer. His wiies name is Ditto, and the chill
dren are all dirty. lie always signs his name
on a hotel-register at the top Of page.
The hay crop must be a failure in Iacouia,
n. H., for the local Journal says that " grass
hOppers have got lame trying to hop from one
blade to another"
An attorney, about to finish bill Of costs
was requested by his client, baker, " to make
it as light as he couldl7 "Ah," replied the at
torney, " that's what you may say to your fore
man, but it's not the way make my bread. 3"
Girls, remember that the man who bows
smiles, and says many soft things to you, has
no genuine love while he who loves most sin
cerly struggles to hide the weakness of his
heart, and frequently appears decidedly awk-
ward
Prayer draws all the Christian graces into its TO
10 draws charity with ner lovely tram, repent
ance with her holy sorrow, faith with her elevated
eyes, hope with her 'grasped anchor, benehcence
With her open hands, zeal looking far and wide to
bless, and humility looking at home.
Young men who go 10 see young ladies have
adopted novel me thod of obtaining kisses. They
assert, on the authority Ofscienthc writers, that
the conclusion producsdby a kiss will cause the
flame Of gasjet 10 flicker, and easily induce the
damsel % experiment in the interest Of science
The first kiss or two the parties watch the flame 10
see il flicker, but soon become interested in the
experiment as to letitaiekcr ifitwants 90.
gentleman took lady ont for drive the
other day, and came home with false curl
attached to the button on the side Of his cap
lie wondered how it could have got there.
Eve had some advantages that no 9th
married woman ever enjoyed, chief among
which was the fact that her husband could
never laeerate her heart b. telling " how his
mother used to cook"
Pope said, Beauty draws US by a single
hair In view Of the prevailing size Of ladies'
head-gear, VIC must be permitted to doubt the
inialibiity Of Pope.
Browning" Well, I always make it rule
to tell my wife every thing that happens"
Smitbkins-" Ga my dear fellow, that is
nothing. tell my wife lots Of things that
never happen at ALL -
a Boston lady having been asked if she was
an admirer Of Trolope's novels, replied "Ies,
l have always been a Trolopologer."
Deeply were we affected on reading the 9TH
er day Of a young lady who, on being told that
her lover had been Suddenly killed, cried
"Ob, that splendid gold watch Of bis! Give
me lbat-give me something to remember him
by Touching simplicity.
Voung men nowadays have shocking IT,
81" - the scriptures. solomon said, Go To-
'',' -D'' ,,ou slugeari :" and yet the majority
10 their uncleS
A girl at Peru witt, to a NAL. .,,r,;,,
anee: Cone over aud ,-e inc. -,
new lamp at our house that We can ,ar, 49,
down, down, until there is scarcely abs, -,
light in the room"
at is poor rule that won't work both
ways exclaimed tie boy, as he threw the