The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-12-28
PITE AND POINT.
Can lover be called sutton when he

Consolation for ladies-The world
abounds with him. perfections.
ergreens-Merchants who expect to
make money without advertising.
When is black dog not black dog ?
When it's greyhound.
Boston people who are In doubt as to
the watering places have got into the
habit of asking the milk-nen.
Figures won't He." Went they?
Does a fashionable woman's figure tell
the truth?
Why is carpenters wife an unhappy
woman? Because her husband is al
ways a-jawin' 'er.
Ben, how is your sweetheart getting
along? Pretty well, guess-she says
| [ needn't call any more. =
Money is great lever in the affairs of
man; SO great lever that some Of US
can never keep it.
Why is young lady forsaken by her
lover like deadly weapon? Because
she is cut-lass.
Why are pen-makers the most dishoE-
| orable persons in the world? Because
they make people steel pens, and then
say they do write.
A young man in town, who is wrest-
| ling with his first mustache, propo-
ses to name it after two leading base bal,
clubs, because there are nine or side,
There is lad Of our acquaintance who
regards hunger and the Christening rod as
about the same thing. Both make the
boy heller.
Tom, who did you say our friend B
married 2" "Well, he married forty
thousand dollars-I forgot her Other
name"
A pretty, rich young widow regarding
herself lately in mirror In her chamber,
while for the first time trying on her Wild
owls cap. Behold" she exclaimed,
''the first real cap of liberty"
A man out west read that dry copper
as put into bed of ants would cause
them to leave, put some in his mother-in-
law bed to see if she wouldn't go. He
says she was there at last accounts.
A local editor assures the kind lady
who sent him a mince pie, with the re-
quest to please insert. that such arti-
cles are never crowded out by press of
other matter.
A pretty girl says: EFF it was wrong
for Adam to live single when there was
not woman on earth, how guilty are
the old bachelors with the world full of
pretty girls.
A Newton man, Of poor means, but
lofty feelings, having expressed wish to
be buried with pomp, his well-meaning
but misguided relatives planted him in a
colored grave yard.
A Connecticut paper says that law
yer hung out his single in the town Of
Bethel,in that State, but left after year,
he having had only one case-that was
CT infammatory rEeumat ism.
An exchange says the new style Of col
lar for gentlemen is simply terrific. They
are an economical article, however, as,
with moderately long pantaloons, they dc
away with all necessity for shirt.
Cast iron sinks, ali sizes" is the le-
eend Hartford plumber inscribed son
his outer wall" "Well, who in thunder
{hic) said it didn't?" was the inquiry Of
an ineoriated man Of sin to the plumber
aforesaid.
The free-thinking Lucy: DO you
know, May, sometimes, when I hurt my
self, the place gets well wiyouth nobody
never kissin' it
The faithful May: "I don't beyie7e
you, Yucy.''
This-is how Ell. G. bows: ''He hitch
es up his little nose, be opens with par
tial smile his pleasant mouth, he pokes
his head little one side, he gives a pre-
liminary flop with his hand, and in the
dear ehild-like way Of the infant-school
orator, he jerks his plished old head and
makes his bow
A citizen of Detroit lost his wife by
death on the 18th Of October, and on the
9th led blushing woman before a min
lister and had her made over to him in
due and legal form. They are to go up
to the cemetery next Sunday to gaze at
the resting place Of his former wife.
Some people go to church to pray,
some so to play some go to sleep, some
to weep; some go to NOPE aud doze,
some to show their pretty clothes some
go from sense of duty, some to show
their beauty; some go to see their friends
and flint, some tobacco juice to squirt :,
some go to see the girls, some to show
their curls some so just for within, and
some to sing hymn. "Don't it."
Why is it that the rainbow and The
cloud come over Us with beauty that IS
not'of earth and then pass away, a..d
leave usto muse on their faded loveliness?
Why is it that the stars, which held their
nightly festival around the midnight
throne, are placed above the reach of our
limited faculties, forever moeking us with
their unapproachable glory? And why
is it that bright forms of human beauty
are presented to our view. and then taken
from US, leaving the thousand streams of
affection to flow back in Alpine torrents
upon our hearts? We are born to high
er destiny than that of earth. There is