The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-11-18
VARIETY.

T6e sting Of bee carries conviction with it.
ua ses a man a bee-leayer at once.
ID our sister fell into well why couldn't you
her? Because you couldn't be a brother
sist her too.
RoPRATE.-At 3 recent hippophagus din
Paris, after the removal of So horse" an
idier of the Empire gave the memory of
:"
/ IREwD confectioner in Bangor has taught
rot to say " pretty creature " to every lady
lters his shop, and his business Is rapidly
sing. ~ -t4- 4
re is an old lady living less than fifty miles
lis city who firmly believes that more men
than women
latest marriage announcement reads thus
rds, no presents, no cake, no wedding trip,
neymoon, no divorce.
= WESTERN editor speaking of a rogue who
in his vicinity, says: I" The rascal has
y n every bank and Jail and Sabbath we had
=. country for the last five years"
Ill BE.-Tbe Philadelphian who kissed his
girl while his wife was peeping through the
ole, will be able to be out about Christmas.
& .GoIsH.-A wife once boasted of having cut
made shirt for her husband in one day.
81 replied wag of a fellow, :. and he wore
1t the next." :"
y ln old lady writing to her son out west, tells
n COX out for great intestinal commotion, for
.ornia estimates its crop Of castor OIL at 30,-
galIOns-
French writer on astronomical subjects has
ed Indigestion TO be '' the ingratitude Of the
ZACH"
lree indianapolis undertakers are {" running
other on prices, and several people talk of
in order to take advantage of low rates.
z sharper in Connecticut is advertising to give
90 90 any person who will adopt an infant
weeks old-adding that ten cents must be
D Ised for answering letters.
u Thought by Teetotaller-
At dinner many do enrreat
n blessing. ere they carve their meat
But few, ANY, ever think
To . blessing their drink
"A correspondent describes Winnie Ream in her |
il 10 - with her arms bare to the shoulders and
ankles likewise Which, if she wears her
es bare to her shoulders, must make it en-
assing for modest visitors.
HE fag end of quarrel-Stern parent
cave off that noise directly, Jack, you naughty |
i It's all over now, and Bertha's left off
ng these ten minutes.' Jack: " BIB
ina began crying before did Boo hoo I"-
nch.
rsERAL-A modest Individual in the Nutmeg
e announces that his golden wedding will
e of just thirty years from now, and offers
raj discount on any presents his friends then
gn to make him.
little boy had great liking for the water.
mother told him not to go on the wharf, or
the water, IS for Freddy, if you should get
Ened, we should never know whatever became
ou.' "Oh. yes, you would, cause it would
the papers,"
I, Ella, my child,'' said prudish old maid to
etty niece, who would curl her hair in pretty
tsets, '' If the Lord had intended your hair to
urled, be would have done it himself" $50
I'D. aunty. when 1 was a baby, but he thinks
big enough now to do 1T myself.''
clergyman who had been staying for some
e at the house of friend, ON going away
ed 70 him little Tommy, the four-year old son
host, and asked him what he should give
~ ior present. Tommy, who had great re-
for 80 Clothes" thought it his duty to sug-
something Of a religious nature, so he an
eed, besitatingly: 81 think should like
nent, and L know should like q pop-gun."
Fietgre of life in Mexico Two gentlemen
\. highest rank in society meet in the even
street in the capital. s'What o'clock is
rI aOr?' politely asks the first. The other
draws his revolver and covers his interloc-
en- takes out his watch and gives the de-
aOrmation. Number one thanks number
Naout the least surprise or remonstrance at
'zsure of precaution.
ORE AND AFTER.-Dr. Hall saws that for the
OF month before marriage, and a month
eeath, men regard their wives angels.
9BABLY.-A Bennington man celebrated the
q rather too freely, managed to get home to
Ill 20 his ss chores - after a fashion. While
~ pc perpendicular he could carry his load
y ~ as be lay down it wouldn't stay. To his
questions as to what allied him he replied.
TX, wife, milk; that's what's the matter
u ted too much warm, and it's soured on me.
" yes said the lady, 's that story is all
but that smell is sum.' 6. Then the
la old cows prob'Iy been cel'brat'n
Fken'ence day." said the inebriate.
ExcusE-A Western journalist, whose
had just presented him with twins, and who,
,r4 that reason was compelled to neglect his
for one day, wrote, the day after, the fol-
a excuse: s We were unable to issue our
> yesterday in consequence of the arrival Of
T. Itra males.''
6lIowing story is related by Mr.. Jefferson
y ming the FIRST Continental Congress
J. sgate Harrison of Virginia, desiring to
q llate,' presented himself and friend at q
: place where supplies we're furnished Con-
: and ordered two glasses of brandy and
"A The man in charge replied that liquors
lot included in the supplies furnished Con-
e en Why said Harrison, what is it,
q nat see the New England members come
'od drinkP Molssses and water, which
" ave charged as stationary was the reply.