Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-05-27
Facts and Fancles.

The essence of politeness--acquies>
cenee.
"A man whom we can put up with-A
good hotel keeper.
The lap of luxury-a cat enjoying
her milk.
Musicians that never fail to draw
Mosquitoes.
1t is very curious that men never
know they have grey hairs. The discov-
cry is always made for them by other
people.
Wife-'I don't think, husband, that
you are very smart" mo, Indeed,
wife, but everybody knows that | am
awfully shrewod."
The printer who kissed his sweet
heart, saying please exchange" is be-
lieved not to have exceeded the ''Liber-
ty of the press
X new German cantatrice has come
out in Berlin who weighs 375. The
Teutonsemble is much admired.
GA fowl shect-The poultry bulle-
| tin" we received the following: A
Fowler sheet-The Prenologicat Jour
na!-Tfs Welts'.
A wag lent clergyman a horse,
which ran away and threw him, and
then claimed credit for said in spread
ing the gospel"
An Irish magistrate, ccnsuring some
boys for lettering in the street, argued,
''if everybody were to stand in the
street, how could anybody get BY p
The strongest propensity in woman's
nature, says careful student Of the
sex, is to know what il going on, aud
the next strongest is to boss the job.
A Cleveland reporter tried the other
day to state that the text of "a certain SER
mon was "Be ye therefore steadfast," but
the types had it :" BE ye there for
breakfast"
A French artist being asked to draw
an allegorical of benevolence, carefully
sketched bit of India rubber. This, =
said he, it is the true emblem of benev-
olence it gives mere than any other
substance
When lovers ia the starlight walk,
How do thy entertain, yst talk
Not even Of tha weather?
How make the time 50 swift elapso
Yet tpsn rot jhe:r lips? Perhaps
Expressing them together.
Fashion gossip has it that in passing
lady on the street, the hat shosld be
raiscd daring the present season with
the left han1, the lit fiaser an thnn. b
TO be placed under the rIm. The bow
for April is little to the If, side, aud
not quite 50 low as formerly.
An evening neighbor says IT! o
chief regret that most Of Us have IN re-
nemberins our school days is that We
studied so little aud played so much. !"
The propriety Of that frank c. nsess.ou
will be painfully obvious to any Of tac
readers Of the paper which makes it.
Brigham Young is praying against
the grasshoppeTs. lie says If he can
/ EEt III dUbnb iOAi Hy&hS w tb@
deity of polggamy before the eggs La ch
| Utah will be saved. The story that
| Brigham was dead was started by % or
30 men who want to marry the widow
| Young.
| 4 lecturer undertook to explain to a
village audience the word phenomenon !:
'Maybe you don't know what a phe-
nomenon is. Well, II tell you. You
| have seen a COW, no doubt. Well a
cow is not phenomenon. You have
seen an apple tree. Well, an apple
tree is not phenomenon but when
you see the cow 60 up the tree, tail
foremost, TO pick the apples, it is u
| phenomenon"
A good story it told Of B, who
went down to New York with one of
his fy-trap machines as specimen
number" 4 butcher was very desir~
Gus that he should set it a going in his
shop, and in the course of half an hour
something less than half peck of flies
were "hiyed." The butcher was pleas
ed, but concluded, as the flies were all
trapped. he didn't want the machine.
"Very Well" said B., elm Yankee
and | won't take advantage of you by
carrying off your flies" and drawing
the slide, he liberated the whole swarm
about the butchers ears and beat re.
treat under cove~ of little Of the
loudest buzzing ever heard in that vi
cinity.
jim OFerall, and Irishman, became
the ablest reporter of his day, and has
convulsed many an audience with
laughter at his inimitable stories, told
with infinite humor ami wit. lie was
once invited to Welch dinner in Lon.
don. to celebrate the Eisteddfod. "Just
- =. ANalaI y