St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1871-02-10

Why is doctor like meadow mole ?
because you can track him 10y the holes
he makes in the ground.
"By Jove!" said man, viewing re-
volving light, "thc wind blows that light
out rs fast as the man can light it
"Bill," said Bob, "why is that tree
called the weeping willow ~ "Causc
one Of the sneaking, plaguy things grew
near the schoo-housc, and supplied the
master with Switches
"Whar is Europe to America ?" said
stump orator. ''Nowhar, Whar Is
England Nowhar. They call Eng
land the mistress of the sea bot what
makes the sea The Mississippi! And
all we've got to do is, TO turn the Mis-
sis>ippi into the Mammoth Cave, and the
English Navy will be fioundcring in the
mud"
sin going to parties ju-t mind what you're at,
Beware of your head and ttkr of your hat,
Lcat you find that fsvoritc of your mother
Has ache in the and i brick in the other"
SAVE
'Ilayc you ground all the tools right,
rs l told you - said a carpenter to a
rather queer lad, whom he had taken for
an apprentice. ''All but hand-saw,
sir" replied the lad, Il could not get all
the gaps out of that"
care you a Catholic, Jenny ~ ''YiS,
yer honor" "And pray to the Virgin
Mary p Il do, yer honpr." "Well
she was 4 good woman. The Bible say:
so. But she may have been no better
than your mother or mine" "'That':
thrue, yer honor; but then you'll allow
there's mighty difference in their chill
drcn.'
n Georgia editor i in luck. Twenty
four heather Chinese walked into lii
sanctum the other day, and through tn,
medium Of an interpreter, paid cash dow
for twenty-iour subscriptions TO his pa
per. The editor wondered Greatly wha
they wanted of an English paper, not be
Ing able to read it, and was inferno,
that they took it for the ''picturco" in it
tile paper having Il rat-poiSon cut, ca
tarrh cut, guano trademark, and al
umbrella ''picture."
a wag, strolling with a friend tllrougI
country churchyard, called attention t,
4 grave the stone Of which had no nam
or inscription on it. "This," said IL
sis the grave of the once notorious Gam
bier, Mr. r.. You will observe tina
there is no name recorded on the tomb
stone, but | think | could suggest yer
appropriate cpitaph." "Nhat wouI
you suggest ~ inquired the friend IItut
ing for tie hht hmmp!" was the reply.
a physician, WHO was something of
wag, called on colored Baptist minister
and propounded 4 few pulling question.
"Why Is it" said he, ''that you are nc
able to do the same miracles that I'll
apostles did ! They were protcctc
against poisons and all kinds Of peril,
How is it that you ale not SO protcctc
in the same way !' The colorcd brJthc
responded promptly: "Doh't know abou
that, doctor. | specs | is. have took
en- mighty sight of strong medicine
from you, doctor, and is alive yet"
Some years since, one of the clerks !
a prominent clearinghouse of Alban,
having had an intimation that it was prC
posed TO dispense with his services, boll
~ entered the private office of the Pres
dent and said: "Mr. President, | hay
made up my mind that the interests ,
lh's Dahk require that either you or my
sell should leave its service. As Won or
Inc leading owner of the bank, and hay
large family to support, Ihaye concIul
ed TO leave you in your position and 70
tire myself The young man ..re,ircJ
A SLIGHT MIsrAKE.-The rollow;u
anecdote has been associated with IL
name of well-known clergyman's hel,
meet in Scotland: The minister had bee
entertaining at dinner a clerical frien
from some distance. The evening w;
unpropitious, and the friend was invite
to remain during the night, and the friel
accepted the invitation. They wake
together for some time in the manse- ga
den. AT dusk the minister asked Il
visitor TO step into the house, while |
would give directions to his man-seryar
TO get his friends conveyance ready
the morning. AS the stranger cntere
the mansc, the minister's wile m;s,oo
him for her husband in the twiliubt eli
raised the pulpit bible, which Glanced =,
be on the lobby table, and brinuir, a.,