Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-01-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A MAN FULL OF SrIRIrs "A distillcr
! ADVICE TO DoCroRs Live and let live.
SoNG OF THE OYsrgR-put me in my
| little bed
WHAT is the greatest want Of the agoY
Want OF funds
IF might makes right did il ever
make a wheel writeg
Tng Washington Life is one of the old
est New York Companies,
THR Rev. c. X Fisher, of Hartford,
| Conn has married 1,l12 couples.
| WoMEN are like horses-the gayer the
harness they have Oh the better they feel,
| In New York last year there Were but
"a, 600 births, while the deaths exceeded
| $4,000,
A YouNe lady in Boston recently tried
| to do up her hair with honey comb to
| make it look "sweetly,'
| THE friends Of the benevolent Bergh
deny that he is arresting New York cooks
| for beating eggs
| A SPIRITED wag defines syntaN as fol
| lows, Syntax-a tax ON whisky Coral
larry, it is u sin to tax IT,
TnE Government has records of the
| graves of 81 500 Union soldiers, of whom
| LAB, ,id6 remain unknown
A COLORADO woman recently made
! 1000 mile trip, including q horseback
ride of 40 miles, to visit her friends in
| Ohio
THE ohscrvaut Josh Billings says;
Men seem to- me nova days to be
! divided into slow christians and wide
| Hw0Rf sinners
4 siGN ut one Of the improyiscd hotels
| in Springfield, Mass reads Boarding
| by The meol. and longing AT awl hours
A GENTLEMAN who has been struck by
a young ady's beauty has determined to
follow the injunction and kiss the rod
that smotc him
NCAIdFoRHtA's people use on an average,
ten gallons of wine each annually, and
sixteen and three ffths pounds Of coffee.
FoBEraouGHr and prudence both say
insure your life. Take their advice, and
insure in the Mutual Life Insurance Com
pany, of Chicago,
MINNIE WARREN, who travels with the
| Tom Thumbscs, cannot live long-the
| reason is that she is very short and does
not grow any.
SCtENTiFIc experiments, by Prof Rood,
| of Columbia College, demonstrate the du'
ration of flash of lightning to be abrnt
j00th part of Il second.
SouTn NoRwALK, Conn, has man
named MoTehouse, who walks seventeen
miles In going to and from his work every
day, He is 60 years old at that
| MAMMA, can door speak ~ " Ger.
| tainly not, my dear Then why didsyou
| tell Ammo this morning 10 answer the
door, 1T is time for you to go to
| school, my dear"
| WILL You accept n millinery shop and
| dry goods store on my accountY' Ia now
the fashionable way Of asking the delicate
and npmcntJus question
A Persian philosopher being asked by
| what method he had acquired so much
knowledge, answered BY not being
prevented by shame from asking qucs,
lions when / was ignorant
A Riou man who was injured by being
run over, exclaimed with great wrath 1T
| isn't the accident that mind, that isn't
the thing; but the idea of being run over
| by al old swill- cart, that's what makes me
mad.
"CAIL that n kind man" said an actor,
| speaking of an absent acquaintance, a
man who il away from bis family, and
never sends T. em a farthing? Call that
| kindnessy Yes unrcmiiting Kindness
! Jerrod replied,
| The Cosr OF KEErING DoGs An
| Eastern statistican estimates that what is
| yearly fed to the dogs Of the United
| States would. if given TO hogs, produce
| $50, O00,0 600 worth Of pork say moth
| ing Of the 100000 sheep that yearly tall
! victims 10 canine Yoracity.
TaE total number of paupers in Lon
| don on the last day OF The nfst week IN
| December was 189 900, Of whom 3581s
were in. door, and t04, ,35i outdoor pau
| pers This is a lower number than on
the corresponding date N any ot 'he
three preceding years
TggRR is tradition that, IN It's earlier ii,,.
! days. a California paper appeared "ltp
thls paragraph; "VVo have no Wy ~ ~
tvpe, as there is zone IN the rphnLsn pai..I
| alphabet we have sent 70 the oauu,
yyicb Islands for this letter. IN the ih' III
| timt, we must use two VS..
Tur income Of the elder Mrs pr
Loaicr from her practice, in New YORK,
il over $4,000 year and the income Of
| Mrs DR. Denmnrc, IL ns lErpe, while the
| income of Mra Or. O r Smith, MISS ~
Mary Green, and Mise Dr Manning are
over 5000 year.
| CHARLES Lawn told Barry CofnWau,
| when they were once ma king up uluhef ,t.
marty together, not H. invite q certain
| Ineibrious friend Of theirs Bncah'e,
said Charles. che would cast camper
even over funeral
Tny New York 7tmes gives an abstract
Of the murders in New York city for the
past year and tho means by which they
were effected Among them are these
! By a paving stone, one by shovel, one /;
| thrown ont Of the window one thrown
down stairs, one. The grand total is fifty
| ak,
Tne Pennsylvania Supreme Court has
I decided Mat, If man puts his head or
arm. through a car window, and is In.
! fnrcd by coming In contact with some.
| thing which reaches close 10 the window,
he cannot recover for the injury, the act
being considered negligence on - part
Of the passenger.
TnE followingis is told Of a young society
| gentleman, who graduated from Hazard
On the examination In physics, he was
asked "Mr. ---- what planets were
known 10 the ancients ?" Wen, sir,
he responded, "there were Venus and
Jupiter and, after panse--"l think the
earth, but I'm not quite certain
A LADY, walking down town, saw a
littlo boy pnchine his younger brother
who was crying bitterly Why, my
boy" said she 70 the young tormentor
don't you know you're doing very
( H.