The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-02-16
obs AND EMS.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

| BY JOSH BILLINGS.
Natur never makes emmy blunders
When sic makes a phool she means it.
| hav finally cum tew the konklusion
| that the majority ov mankind kan be ed
| skated on the back better than in the
brain, for good clothes will often make a
phool respectable, while edukashun only
serves show his weak pints.
I never knu man yet whose name waz
George Washington, Lafayette Good ich
Esq, and who alwuz signed his name fol-
the full amount, but what wuz bigger
man on paper than he waz by natur.
As gineral thing, an individual who
IL neat in hiz person IL neat in hiz morals.
Man il my brother, and I konsider thai
[ am nearer related to him through his
vices than | am thru his virtews.
There is nothing about which the WORLD
makes so few blunders. and the individ
ual so menny, as q mans acktual impor
tanse among his fellow critters.
A man with very small head IL like
pin without emmy, very apt tew get into
things beyond his depth.
The pashuns ov an old man are otter
like his teeth, they cease to trouble him
simply bekause the nerve is ded.
The only pedigree worth transmitting
IL virtew, and this IL the very thing thai
kant be transmitted.
Afectashun haz made more phool.
than the Lord haz.
About the nearest tew absolute insol
vency that man kan git in this world
and think he IL dieing rich, IL to leave
nothing but pedigree tew his family
l don't pretend tew hav emmy less vile
pashuns than my Majors, but do de
Spite the person most heartily, who ca
tiers tew thoze | hay got.
Thare IL no pashun ov the human
heart that promises so much and pays 81
little as revenge.
| Thare haint no man yet lived long enuf
in this world tew doubt the infallibility
ov his judgment.
| Thare IL this odds between a humorous
lekter and scientifick one, yu hav go
to understand the humorous lektur tev
enjoy it, but you kan enjoy the scientif
tick one without understanding it.
1t is but step from zeal tew bigotry
but it liz step that IL most general.
taken.
Don't lay emmy certain plans for tn
feWter, it IL like planting tuds, and ex
pekting tew raze tudstools.
No man yet who has strength ov mint
enuf ever resorted tew cunnin. Cunnin!
is half brother to fear, and they are boil
ov them weakness.
A man who-is good company for him
self is alwus good company for others
Genuine praize consists in naming
mans faultz to hiz face, and his goo'
qualities tew hiz back.
One ov the best temporary cures fo
pride and affektashun that hav eve
seed tried liz sea-sickness man wh
wants tew vomit never puts on airs
A fault concealed liz but little bette
than one INDUCED in.
Witty speeches are like throwing stone
at a target, the more time spent in takin,
aim, the less danger there IL in hitting
the mark.
have alwus noticed one thing, whel
person bekums disguised with thi
world, and konkludes to withdraw from
it, the world very kindly lets the per
son went.
| Woman haz no friendships. She eithe
loves, despises, or hates.
A day in the life of an old man IL lik,
one ov the last days in the fall ov tn,
year, every hour brings change in tn
weather.
! loye tew see an old person joyful, blu
not kickuptheEeelsfull.
Human happiness is like the Hotten
tott language, emmy boldly kan talk i
we'll enuf, but there amt but phew cal
understand it,
Gravity IL no more evidence ofwisdon
than paper collar il ov a shirt.
Whatever Providence haz given us tn,
fakulty teW DO, be haz given us the pow
er tew do.
Thare IL CRATE menny folks in THU
world who are like little flies; great bore
without meaning or knowing it.
All the good injuns die young.