The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1871-09-23
Fall of the American Republic.
From the Advance Sheets of Baneroft's
History Of the Republic" published by
Harper Brothers, 1890.

A4OiA 1uo ANF0lOo 9llVOuo VI 0ouoS o4b
History Of the Republic" published by
Harper Brothers, 1890.
The first of dead satirists was Job,
who, in the bitterness of his heart,
after being interviewed by some Bo-
hemian vagabond, said, "Oh, that
mine enemy might write book" Our
excellent, but somewhat saturnine
friend, Mr.. Joseph W., says that Job
must have had a special spite against
some publisher, who might have been
ruined by publishing the book in ques-
ton.
After this flourish of trumpets, we
come to the marrow of our subject: 1t
is to introduce the next volume of
Bancroft's Decline and fall of the
Republic" We have been enabled,
through the aid of clairvoyante, to
read the opening of the last volume,
and we give it with all its startling
force to the world, in the original. See
vol. 5, page q:
THE FALL OF AMERICA.
You ask me to tell you, my child
rem, of the events which Immediately
preceded the destruction of the once
great American Union, and the cap
ture OF the country by its present Eu-
ropean rulers, and to say something,
also, of the cause which led to these
deplorable results. | undertake the
task with heavy heart, for when
revert to that terrible time | cannot
help contrasting our proud condition
up to that fatal year with the humili-
ating position now occupied by Amer
leans. The story is short one. In
the fall of 1872 Horace Greeley, the
editor of a newspaper in New York,
was elected President of the United
States. The people voted for him be-
cause they thought he was an honest
man. And so he was. But he was
also vain and weak, and he entertained
certain fanatical and ridiculous notions
about agricultural matters, for in
stance-which he was determined to
force upon the nation at all hazards.
and despite all opposition. He be-
ieved, among other things, that every
man ought to go to the West to earn
his bread, and long before he was
chosen President he used to advise
everybody to move out to that region.
as II cure for all the disasters that
could befall the human family.
As soon as he reached the Executive
Mansion, which we used to call the
White House, President Greeley or
ganized an army of two hundred thou
sand men, and proceeded to force the
entire population of the seaboard
States westward at the point of the
bayonet. The utmost violence was
used. Those who resisted were shot
down, and their dead bodies were
carted OFF to national factory which
the President had established for MAX
ing some kind of fantastical fertilizer.
All the large cities of the East were
depopulated, and the towns were en-
trely empty. The army swept before
it millions of men, women and child
rem, until the vast plains west of Kan
sas We're reached, when the pursuit
ceased and the army was drawn ND in
continuous line, with orders to shoot
any one who attempted to visit the
East. Of course hundreds of thousands
OF these poor creatures died from star
walton. This seemed to frighten Pres
ldent Greeley, and he sent q message
to Congress recommending that seven
hundred Thousand volumes of book
of his, entitled "What know about
farming" should be devoted for the
relief of the starving sufferers. This
was done, and farming implements
and seeds were supplied; and then the
wretched outcasts made an effort to
till the ground. Of the result of this
| will speak further ON.
In the meantime the President was
doing infinite harm to the country in
another way. His handwriting was
so fearfully and wonderfully bad that
no living man could read it. And sc
when he sent his first annual message
to Congress-the document was devo-
ed'wholly to the tariff and agricul-
ture-a sentence appeared which was
subsequently aseertained to be, Large
cultivation OF rutabagas and beans il
the only hope of the American nation
I am SURE The printers, not being
able to interpret this, put it in the fol
lowing form, in which it went to the
world: The Gar of Russia couldn't
keep clean if be washed himself with
the whole Atlantic Ocean once day
This perversion of the message was
Immediately telegraphed to Russia by
the Russian Minister, and the Czal
was SO indignant that he Immediately
declared war.
Just at this time President Greeley
undertook to write some letters to the
Prince Bismarck, upon the subject o.
potato rot, and, after giving his sin
gular views at great length, he con-
Guided with the statement that if the
emperor William said that subsoi