Smyrna times., 1871-05-17
WHOLE NO. 841
Mike Fink's Ride.

we puUHSH CnlS yarn dOOut OHCe year.
Mike Fink took notion to go in swimming,
and he had just got his clothing off when he
saw Deacon Smith bull making at him. The
bull was vicious animal. and had come near
killing two or three persons; consequently,
Mike felt rather "jubus. He didn't want
to call for help, for he was naked, and the nearest
place from whence assistance could arrive, was
the meeting house, which at the time was fill
ed with worshipperS, among whom was the
gal Mike was paying his devours to." So he
lodged the bull as the animal came at him
and managed to catch him by the tail. He
was dragged round till nearly dead, and. when
he thought he could hold on no longer. he
made up his mind he had better "hoer."
But let him tell his own story
So, looking at the matter in all its bearings,
[ cum to the conclusion I'd better lei som one
know whar Was So gin to yell louder than
locomotive whistle, and it warn't long be-
fore seed the Deacon's two dogs a comm
down like as if they whar seein' which could
git thar fust know'd who they war arter;
they d jine the bull agin me | was sartin, for
they war orful wenomous, and had spite
agin me. So, says l old brinde, as ridin is
as chep as wakn' on this route, if you We no
objection, III Just take deck passage upon
that ar back O. your'n. So | wasn't very
long getting astride of him. Then if you'd
bin thar, you'd have sworn thar warn't nothin'
human in that ar mix; the sile flew so orfully,
as the critter and | rolled round the feld-one
dog on one side and one on the other, tryin' to
clineh my feet. | prayed and cussed, and
cussed and prayed until [ couldn't tell which
| did at last, and neither warn't of no use,
, they war so orfully mixed up.
Well, l reckon d rid about half an hour
this way, when old brnde thought it war time
4, to stop to take in a supply of wind, and cool
off little. So when we got round to tree
I that stood thar he naturally halted. So, sez
u |, old boy you'll lose one passenger, sartin
q So jist cum up branch, kakelatin to roost
there until | starved afore I'd be rid round
e that ar way any longer. whar making tracks
:, for the top of the tree when | heard suthin'
Y a maxim an arful buzzin' over head. l kim
n der looked up, and if there warn t-well there 8
e no use swearin, but it was the biggest hornets s
D. nest ever bilt You'll gin in now, reckon,
n Mike, cause there's no help for you. But an
10 idea struck me then that | stood heap better
le chance ridin' the bull than whar | was. Sez
~ l. old fellow, if you'll hold on, I'll ride to the
~ next station, anyhow, let that be whar it will.
s Sc jist dropped aboard him &gain, and
- looked alOft to see what | had gained by
III changin quarters and gentlemen, I'm liar
ST if thar wasn't nigh half bu>hel of the stingin
lie varmints ready 70 pitch into me when the
word go gin. Well, | reckon they got it, for
"aIl hands" started for our company. Some
lr- on EN- hit the dogs, about quart hit me, and
lc- the rest charged on brindle.
ng This time the dogs led off fust, dead bent
e. for the old deacOns, and as soon as old brin-
Is die and could get under Way we followed
and as was only deck passenger, and had
IN nothin to do with steerin' the craft, sweal
ne if | had we shouldn't have run that channe
m anyhow But. as | said before, the dogs tool
Ia the lead, brindle and | next and the hornets
ne dre'kly arter-the dogs yelIin', brinde beller
the in, and the hornets buzzin' and stingin'.
ing Well, we had got two hundred yard
ing from the house, and the deacon heard US an
ces cum out. ! seed him hold up his hands an
the turn white l rechon he was prayin' then, fc
ent he didn't expect to be called for so soon; an
cn, it warnt long, nuther, afore the whole congrt
evil CATION, men, women and children, cum ou
IN S and then all hands went to yelhn'. n, ne {
the em had the fust notion that brindle and 1 b
sely longed to this world. l iist turned my Eea
to and passed the hull congregation. L see ii
evil run would be up soon, for old brinde couldn
lere turn an inch from a fence that stood dea
ard ahead. Well, we reached that fence, and
went ashore over the old critters head, landir
ish- on / tother side, and lay thar stunned.
that 1t warnt long afOre some on EN- as was n
all scared cum runn to see whar | war, for
epa- hands kalkeated the bull and belonged t
our gether But when brindle walked off by hir
can self, they seed how it war, and some OF c
sued said, mike Fink has got the wust of scrul
YER mage once in his life!" Gentlemen, from tn
,gre- day dropped the courtin' biziness, and L
lore, never spoke to gal since; and should t
,urse Fink family die out it will all be OWN TO d.
1t con Smith brindle bull