Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1871-09-02
A Terrible PrediCament.
Governor Stanton Minus has BrsecheS.
The Uar Horse LOseh his Harness.
He Paws and Shorts Nofwithstand-

Governor Stanton Minus has BrfecheS.
The Uar Horse LoSeM his Harness.
He Paws and Shorts Notwithstand-
ing.
There are times in the experience of
public journalist when his duty com
pels him to put on record facts and oc-
currences that are painful to him and
which he wishes he were not forced to
give to the public,
Such a time comes TO all who write
for the press.
Such time has come to us
In another column we give an ac
count Of a robbery perpetrated at the
house of J. Ferguson, ESQ, Of Mounds
vile, on Wednesday night In the
brief limits of that paragraph we could
not give the evidence OF the depth of
total depravity to which those who
''cracked that crib" had fallen
We will do it now:
The 'oretcheS stole the breaches of Coz
B. F. Stanton Of this city.
They also took all the money he had
1t was fifty cent shinplaster
The commences Of that shinplaster
is in Doubt is said to have been bo-
gus.
The "old war horse" went to Mounds
vile on Wednesday night to rip, and
rare, and snort, and tear against the
Convention iniquity. After he had per
formed that, to him pleasing duty, he
accepted the inequalities OF Mr. Fergu-
son. He was obliged to. His total
wealth was that fifty cent scrip He
couldn't get bed at a hotel and
square meal next morning for fifty cents,
could he ?
After spending the latter part Of the
evening in peace, The ''war horse peel
ed off his harness and ''wrapping the
mantle of his couch about him, laid him
down to pleasant dreams" in which the
words and figures 5000 majority against
the Convention iniquity" did largely
prevail.
While he slept the enemy came and
stole the ''war horses silver plated har
ness-and the titty-cent shinplaster in
the pocket.
The gentle Aurora parted the curtains
of the night and let the daylight and
the sunshine through the cleaning,
when the "old war horse" awoke with
/ Il snort.
He began to feel for his trousers and
then to feel his oats lie raised his
body in bed and the hair raised on his
head. Ills Ueeches ,cere gone
With a snort and yell the war
horse sprang out Of bed He searched
! high and low, here there and every
where.
There was no Disgusting the fact that
the Governors breeches were gone.
( So was that fifty cent shinplaSter.
He was noble specimen to Gaze up
! on as he stood there i'll the early dawn
meditating on the loss Of those breech-
es the tail Of his only garment tiuttcr-
inc in the breeze with all the grace, We
hemencc and grandeur of a Fourth Of
July FLAG, and the wind blowing cody
yet kindly on his legs.
He pressed another phase Of the nude
departure.
Uttering a malcdction on the pur
loincr Of his clothing, the Governor
called up the family and dove back in
TO bed.
For, if the truth must be told, the
war horse is not proud of his legs.
They are very like his speeches against
the Constitutional Convention, ''too
thin" as the boys say.
After awhile Mr.. Ferguson called on
the Governor and explained that the
house had been robbed, and that the
, Governors brcecheS had gone where
the woodbine twineth a pair of pan
falcons was finally provided for the
Governor, and he managed to reach
this city yesterday morning. But he
presented a queer spectacle. The Dor
rowcd pants were about four inches too
long in the lee and about five inches
too narrow around the waist, and the
Governor was kept busy in trying to
keep from walking out Of the LEGS or
falling out ofthe waist Of them.
He managed to reach home, howcv-
cr, and there obtained another outfit.
He declares that he will never again
address an anti-Convcntion meeting eX-
cept he takes two pairs Of pants along,
And another fifty cent shinplastcr.-
Uaeeiing Register.
a FIGur-The sober, pious people
who worship at new Providence church,
in Rockbridge, were, on last Sunday
week, favored with the following scene,
which we find recorded in the LeXing-
ton Gazette:
Taylor Swisher and-Craig, as we
| get it had been paying their deyoirs to 4
young lady of the neighborhood, and in
their competition for the hand and IA
vor of the fair one, had allowed their
minds to be wrought up to a very high
pitch Of jealousy Of each other. Swish
er it seems, had accompanied the lady
70 cburrh ON Sun1ov and offor the ser