The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-11-11
VARIETY.

? ical Problem: If man blows his own
et, can bis opinions be sound?
the outside cover of a Bible lying on the
table of Hudson river steamboat are
= the following lines:
This holy book neglected Hes, :
No soul with it communes;
While Of souls sit round about,
With Heralds and Trbunes"
Irish fre-eater, previous to trial in which
/ sas the defendant, was informed by his
/ sl that If there were any of the jury to
he objected he might legally challenge
D. '' Faith, and 50 / will, >" replied he IS If
Do not aequit me, l will challenge every
4 ,fthem.''
- 6ur or five darkies were passing an agri-
al implement store on Third-street, the
day, one of them, pointing to a cultivator,
! -'F A man can jist sit on dat thing and ride
he's ploughing." Golly," replied the
Z" the rascals was too sharp to think of dat
de niger was free.
STRONG HNT.-A Partisan lady called on
niIliner the other day to ' take up'' the
lcter of servant. The respectable appear
of the latter was beyond questioning.
is she honest?'' asked the lady. 81 am
certain about that" replied the milliner !;
ave sent her to you with my bill dozen
and she has never yet gwen me the money" F"
SGISG.-" Why does the operation of hang
hII man 2" inquired DIR. Whately. A
flOIogist replied, IS Because inspiration is
ied, circulation stopped, and blood su6uses
eongests the BRAIN So Bosh," replied his
E. alt is because the rope is not long
% to let his feet touch the ground"
any may remember the story of three Alder
3 wives playing at the game, " love my
with letter" The first began, I" love my
with q G., because he is a Gustice 5" the
ID, ss love my love with a N, because he is
ght;'' the third, +" 1 love my love with an I,
.use he is a Fisician." It was the &" Gustice ="
|elf who gave the famous toast at a literary
er :-.' The three R's-Reading, Riting, and
metic.'' -A-- -
=. strone-minded - thus relieves herself:
|arryt merryI marry That's mans eternal
Marry and settle down. Settle down into
luse-two story back perhaps-settle down
d kitchen, a cook-stoye, wash-tub, cradle
30 keep settling, settling into a weary, worn,
4 woman-on whom the male importuner,
b I've or ten years of his exclusive compan-
nip. NAV look and congratulate himself on
~ accomplished successful ruin
Mississippi paper publishes what purports
can accurate COPY of an original letter written
teacher in that State to the father Of one of
pupils. We quote a few sentences ' The
stFy of his diIigentIiness at school were very
Rightly. He is by all means diligent
ar. You are not aware of what Kind of a
0ar This BOy win make for q short time
g to school, he kas moral character ARD
r le has the appearance of a hero, especially
men as we now need. / will venture to say
u the length of twenty-four Months ne
L make q States Man and well drilled tor
'ass such as would be required OF him to
: AMY ScoT.-On one occasion sma' laird
Rlted on by neighbOr, to request bis name
Aasommodation to q bit bill for EGO at three
ii1s which led to the following truly, charact-
&c eolIoquy :-s Ma, ma, I Gamma do that"
I ,! FOR no, laird; ye hae dune the same thing
lhers7" E" Aye, aye, Tammas, but there's
ss within wheels ye ken naething aboot; L
a DOT 0It's sma' affair to refuse me,
;" Weel We see, Tammas, if l was to pit
name tilt We wad get the siller frae the
I, and when the time cam round ye wadna
Eady. and wad hae to pay't; sac then you
ne vad Quarrel; sac we may just as weel
Errel The 1l0o, as lang as the siller's In ma
eb'' rF tTIea
klsH BuLH.-The Irish, rightly or wrongly,
credit for almost all the bulls that go the
Ids of the papers. 1t was an Irishman who
ted to find place where there was no death,
he might 90 and end his days there. 1t was
|Erongs of Ireland, " Her cup of misery has
for ages overHowing, and is not yet full"
ss an Irish newspaper that said of Robes
that she left no children behind him
tt q brother, who was killed at the same
It was an Irish coroner who when asked
he accounted for an extraordinary mortality
nerick, replied, sadly,-"I cannot tell:
are people dying this year that never died
r." 1t was an Irish hand-bill that an
4Fed, with boundless iberality, IN reference
<Feat political demonstration in the Rotunda,
ladies', without distinction Of sex, would
seome.'' Sir Boyle Roche said, single
fumes never come alone, and the greatest of
ssible misfortunes is generally followed by
greater.'' An eminent spirit merchant
oIin announces, in an Irish paper, that he
U small quantity Of the whiskey on hand
j vas drunk By George w., when in Dublin ;