The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-02-10
OLA PODRZDA.

-main keeps list OF her veteran Stage dri-
vers. She has Al OF them, and the oldest is 81.
"A wag said or an egotistical writer -
Somebody should take pity on his readers and
put out his I's."
There are in Ohio 13, 951 school-rooms, EN-.
ploying IL, 375 teachers.
There were 96 paper mills DESTROYED by fro
IN this country in 1870.
The rate of interest ia California is pretty
high. loan OF 100000 was made last week
at one per cent. per month for four years.
An Indiana widow so worked upon Young
mans fears by threatening to marry him, that
he turned over all his property to her and rar
away.
Why don't the great men OF France stir ?
Why do they remain motiouless and COLI while
our bleeding country is rulned? asked AZ ora
tor in Paris the other day. " Because they are
cast In bronze, answered voice from the cal.
lcry.
"A Chicago widow who has buried two hus-
bands, insists that the law OF the land entities
her to her third.
"A correspondent sends Erery Saturday
what he calls 1.-THE True Story of Mary and
Her Little Lamb, hoping it will take the place
OF that garbled version which has hitherto
been received As authentic
Mary had little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow.
And every place that Mary went
The lamb it would not go,
So Mary took that little iamo
And beat it for spell
The family had it fried next day
And It went very well
An Intelligent young Beaverdamer, listen
ing 20 tho conversation OF some gentlemen
relative to q quarrel, heard one OF them re-
mark that certain individual was injured in
the fracas. and very innOcently inquired In
"what part OF a mans body the fracas was
located?"
-Clairvoyant doctor OF Hartford proclaims
his superiority over ali soothsayers, astrologers,
prophets, by advertising that he "foretells the
past and present, as well as the future.
The following question is now being dis
cussed before the Bungtown Debating Society.
"Can ab big man ache harder than little one?"
-"Steam, " said DR.. Lardner, 'Is the great
annihilator-it annihilates time and space"
"Yes," !" said another land multitudes OF pas
sengers too."
"A very penurious lady was 80 affected by q
charity sermon, on recent occasion, as to bor-
row a dollar from her neighbor. The effect
was but momentary. 80 she put it in her own
pocket.
Irritating the FeelIngs-After rolling all
night in your berth at sea, till you are mlser-
ABLY sick to have a steward ask you in the
morning If you will have q fresh roll for break
fast.
A Judge Of the Indiana Supreme Court was
accosted by the hotel bootblack the other day
with demand for "a quarter, sir" He turned
upon the sable-hued American, and Indignantly
asked him: "What do you take me for, sir ?"
"Oh, know you; you're one OF them can-can
fellers." pointing to the variety theatre.
A temperance society in Litchfeld, Conn.,,
was " really quite futtered, to use the express
sion OF a local paper, the other evening by n
singular address from the Rev. DR.. Henry
Instead OF advocating teetotalIsm, he recon-
meuded the use Of VINE at meals, aud attempt
ed to prove that it was sanctioned by the scrip
lures.
Scene at meeting IN Preston, England.
"Take thy hat off," said one fellow in the
crowd to another in front Of him. "What for7"
"why, aw cannot see" "Well." replied the
other, "it aw takes my hat off thou'll be worse
of than ever. My hure (bair) is thirteen in
chcs hong, an it stone strIght up. I've put my
hat on 1t to keep 1t down."
AT dinner party Erskine was seated near
Miss Henrietta -, commonly called Miss
Henuie -, who had been celebrated for
her beauty, but then somewhat passed the mer-
idian Of hfe. "They say yen are great man
for making puns." said Miss Hennie to the wit
"co nd You make pun onme7" "Ah. Henni, 90
was the cruel reioi1der, 'ye are no chicken {"