Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-04-06

couldn't possibly nave Deen ON fOuLtph,
because Tom Poulton was dead and bur
led and Tom Poulton's will had been
opened by which he left thirty or forty
thousand pounds in ready money to the
Serious Family. This was held by impll-
cation only, as it never entered anybody's
head to suggest that the mysterious
stranger could possibly have been Tom
poulton.
The club had resolved itself into a com
mittee to consider the best means of in
vesting or otherwise disposing of the
handsome legacy which Tom Poulton had
lett them,
1t was decided, as first step, that, as a
mark of respect to poor Tom Poulton' s
fund scheme, every member should be
permitted to borrow twenty four pounds
from Toms estate.
The question then arose whether 1t
would be better TO apply the balance to al
lowing every member reasonable guam
tity of spirits and tobacco for life, without
any payment whatever, or to divide it
equally among the surviving membcrs--a
course of procedure that would give
every member, after allowing for probate
and executorial expenses, nearly one hun
dred pounds each.
As this interesting question was being
put " the meeting by Mr. Richard Harris,
Mr. Tom Peulton walked in.
Sir" said he, " this is private club
room, and strangers are not admitted un-
less they are introduced by members"
"Ha, ha said Tom bravo, Peter -
Sir" said another, we don't know
who you are, but we must request you to
withdraw
"Allow me to introduce myself" said
Tom, with much mock gravity, lam Mr.,
Tom Poulton, whose funeral you attended
this morning" And he took chair and
filled q pipe
" If you imagine, sir, because you bear
a certain distant resemblance to our poor
friend Tom Poulton, you are justified in
horritying his friends with highly indie
cent practical joke" began Peter uodg-
son.
A distant resemblance
A very distant and shadowy resem,
blancc, sir. Nothing more, | assure you.
Don't be fool, Peter said Tom.
" We've had enough Of this haven't we,
Dickg"
1--WE have sir" said Dick. al must
insist ON your withdrawing immediate
ly,"
Come, come" said Tom, rather chop
fallen; " it was only my joke, l person
ated poor old chap who happened to
bear my name, in order to sell you all.
Dick, Harry and | arranged it together
didn't we Dick? p
Sir" said Dick, I haven't the pleas
ure OF your acquaintance. You will be
good enough to withdraw, or we shall be
under the necessity of eXpelling you by
force
And as the members of the club rose in
a body, with the evident intention of car.
rying Dick Harris threat into effect, Mr..
Tom Poulton withdrew, with a very blank
expression of countenance.
Ia order to test the feeling Of the club
on the subject it was Immediately pro
posed by Mr. Dick Harris, and seconded
by Mr.. Peter Hodgson, that Mr.. Tom
Poulton was dead and buried. The mo-
ton was carried by aCclamation.
1t was then proposed by Mr. Peter
Hodgson, and seconded by Mr. Dick Har-
ris, that il, by any miracle, Mr. Tom Poul.
ton came to life again, the whole of the
legacy should be refunded to him, if posi-
bic, without driving him into chancery
for its recovery. This motion, also, was
carried by aCclsmation.
Finally, it was proposed by Mr. Dick
Harris, and seconded by Mr.. Peter Hodg-
SON, that the person who had Just repre-
scntcd himself to be Tom PoultOn re-
stored to life, was not in the least like
Tom Poulton, and that he had no claim,
and never, by any possibility, could have
any claim, to the legacy in question, This
motion, also, was carried by acclamation.
The question was considered settled by
all but Tom Poulton himself
Tom PoutOn beseiged the club doors
day after day, but to 40 effect. The hall
porter they had started hall porter and
many other congenicnces since Tom Poul-
tons death-had received strict injuncions
not to admit any person calling himself
Tom PoultOn, He treated Tom kindly
enough, believing him TO be q harmless
monomaniac, but no consideration could
induce him to admit Tom within the club
threshold.
Tom next tried the parish surgeon who
gave the certificate of the dead Tom Poui.
tons death. But all the surgeon could
prove was that the Tom PoultOn who
died was not at all like the TON PouitOn
who stood before him. On the whole, this
materially strengthened the clubs case
particularly as The description given BY
the surgeon of the dead Tom PoultOn 4
personal appearance cCrrespondcd exactly
with every members recollection Of the IN
fortunate chairman Of the Serious Family
Ii was finally voted that, on the surgeon e
evidence, poor Tom poulton was more
dead than ever
DO what he might, Tom Poulton could
not prove himself to be alive. Nobody
would hear Of Il tor a moment. lie an.
pealcd lat some pecuriary loss) TO his
tTadcsmcn for identification. They idcnti
hCd him without hesitation us the Tom
POultOn who owed them money; but they
furnished no clew that would serve To
Identify him with the Tom Poulton who
had been chairman Of the Serious Family.
lie never rested. dc prepared petitions,
but no Que would present them, He com
menced actions, but he broke down at the
declaration for want Of money, lie called
day after day al the club, but the hall pOT-
ter was aGamant, lie addressed letter
after letter to every member Of the club,
and inclOscd stamped envelopes for reply /;
but they tore up the envelopes, and applied
the stamps TO other uses.
At first these appeals amused the club
but after six or eight months
persecution the Family began 10 get tired
Of it, The sol disant Tom Poult0n was
voted bore; and At length it was solemn
~ proposed that negotiations should be
opened with him with the view Of arriving
at some compromise, Mr. Tom Pouton
was formally invited into the club room !;
but be was informed that, for the purposes
OF that meeting, his name was Major Gen