The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-03-07

less. Our trade was interrupted by Splurge
fol fortnight, and at the end of it he had
Undergone the quickening process, and
3" nre ~ positively he had paid 245 dollars
ir the animal.
rhis is only one illustration. did not
ksow of a single instance of greater honesty
IN trade after the revival than before it. L.
never once seemed to occur to two men of
contrite spirit to say to each other, "Oome
now, we have persistently thought everything
worth whatever we could get for it, irrespec-
tive of its intrinsic value and have considered
false representation in regard to articles we
had for sale q merely venial offense; let
us, now that we5 have got religion,
never try to get more for anything than it is
honestly worth" If even Splnrge cannot
venture to recommend people when they are
asked for their coats to give their cloaks also,
without extinguishing himself and his popu-
larity ss an imparter of the Christian religion
forever, let him at least suggest that when a
man asks for your coat you should not turn
upon him and strip him naked as an evidence
of Christian ''smsrtDess." o my dear Splurge,
l am sorry to have to tell you that my ex-
perience has been that the sooner men get
over the effects of your labors on their
conscences, the more l like to deal with
them; and l would also venture to suggest
that it is very difficult to give to others what
You have not got yourself.
OihuRd LcO ulu nOb Bob HCllRlOl, Uub ne ROJ
good deal of useful information, by the
dexterous management of which he hopes to
increase his social and political influence,
and thus rise to higher spheres of usefulness.
do not mean to divulge what these are
in fact / am at this moment interrupted by
piece of intelligence for which time
will disturb our domestic arrangements,
aud which involves to no small degree the
future happiness both of Orange Zee aud
,nxGalf hau hefo ILL nd da1 fA tha arb
ably philosophical and speculative character
of Dollies mind and that we have both been
conscious that her advanced habits of thought
were not unlikely to produce q strong inhu-
ence upon us. She has just impaired to us
the important discovery that she has married
the wrong Smith. 1 need not say that we saw
it both 10 the same light instantly. Why it
never flashed upon us before during the last
five years it is useless to attempt to inquire
1t was the real solution of great dome stic
problem, which, like Columbus egg we had
missed from its extreme simplicity.
AS the laws of divorce in the State in which
we are now residing interfere in the most
absurd and arbitrary manner with the private
matrimonial arrangements of its citizens, we
have determined at once to proceed to the
more enlightened State of Indiana, and have
telegraphed to have the preliminary measures
taken; this will enable us to start tomorrow
the whole course of proceedings, assures us
that in that State the ceremony of divorce by
mutual consent will not occupy above half
an hour, and she then wishes to proceed to
| New York to have the marriage ceremony
performed by at least two leading liberal d-
vines. She is strongly inclined in favor of
Mr.. Ward Beecher and Mr.. rockingham. She
| says she does not care SO much about the mere
ceremony, but she wishes to commit those
influential men to great principle. Orange
Zee asked her stupidity whether she thought
it likely she would ever change back again.
| Dollie, of course, told him to mind his own
business. Orange Zee said he thought it was
his busipess but his mind is so little able to
rise above the ordinary interests of every
day life that we never attend to what he says
on these more profound questions. Whether
| I am the Smith from whom Doilie
is going to be divorced, or the Smith
to whom she is going to be married,
| is not a matter of the smallest in
terest to my readers. may tell them what
happens to us in Indiana and New York, or 1
may not, Oh some future occasion; but can't
know till it is over whether it will be worth
telling. Meantime, of this the public may
rest assured, that Orange Zee, Dollie, and L,
all have the strongest possible affection,
esteem, and admiration for each other, and
are all profoundly Indifferent to anything the
world may think of us.
/