The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1871-12-09
SELECTED STORY.
Why Lucy Ellen Didn't Marry

why Lucy ElleH DIun
Why didn't Lucy Ellen Ma ah Now lest
ried? Hedn't eny chances, o Incv Ellen
YOU let me tell you how IL Wa,. ~ ;ro,1iI1a
was pretty enough ; Una. they're sort Of
"uo YOU Now don't go for ter say but she's
quo ,s~nu off single as merried; there's two
s; a. VIE ter every thing; according to my think
mo I'd as soon be single and my own mis-
t tress. as like Miss Hollyhock, who's always
luooing round baby in one hand and ado
ing of the work with tother; or like Miss
Smilax-youve heern tell of young SmilaX,
how awful sweet he was on her while they
were counting? Law, bless you, how ma
lures do change after getting themselves mer-
ried; t'wasn't moren a fortnight atore he
changed his tune; she'd no more burst ask
him for sixpence than you burst put your
head into lions month To be sure, it's
different with man; if he don't merry,
who's to mend and make for him? Who's
to codde him up, and fatter and encourage
him like? Who's to help him to put the best
foot forward, when things kind of hitch? If
I was asked, I'd jest advise all the men to
merry, and all the women to STAY single
However, that's nothing ter do with Lucy
Ellen, that L see on, though ter be sure she's
took my advice, but no credit to her No
more than if she'd took the varioloid when
1t was round. Maybe you've heered of her
gran ther, elder Marigold? The folks set a
heap by the elder hereabouts, though he was
the out spokenest man that ever preached;
ior instance, there was Deacon Thrift, used
10 nve out on the turnpike; the deacon was
mighty close-fisted, you see, and some folks
went for ter say that it was worse'n that.
However, the elder got wind of how the dea-
con had sold six feet of wood to Wilder
Hood for good cord, and the next Sabbath
the elder he gets up in the pulpit and preach
es about the wilder and the fatherless-
though mercy knows Miss Hood hadn't no
children, and was sight better off than the
deacon and elder put together; but that wasn't
no kind of reason why she should be cheated
out of her eye teeth, which they were false;
and so the elder goes for ter say-a-leaning
way out over the pulpit cushin and pointing
fust to one place and then to another-'I
don't care who it is, or where he sits, wheth-
er IN the gallery or in the body of the meet
ing house, or IN the dedcon's seat, the man
that'll sell six foot of wood for cord is Wor-
thy of fire and birthstone, and Pm afeard he'll
git his deserts" I've heerd as how the dea-
con made restitootion; but that's nothing to
do with Lucy Ellen as l know of, only the
elder was her gran Their, and as lively a man
as ever gave out psalm; however, she didn't
inherit nothing from him, except yoke of
steers and lot of farming stuff. The fact
was, the Marigolds might hev been some
bodies instead of nobodies and nothings, if
Marsh Marigold hedn't merried as he did,
instead of merging as he ought to hev done,
though 1T don't become me to say who he
ought to hev married. Marsh, you see, was
named after his mothers family-the Marshes
over the river yonder; they were fust cousins
to the Swamps and Boggs, rich as mud could
make 'em. Wa'al you see, Marsh he spilled it
all by going and marrying the slackest piece
OF flesh and blood that ever handled broom,
Jest because she had pretty face on ter her.
Laws, the way SHE used ter cut up was eau
ton; she had her sister Tidy ter live with
her. Goodness, many's the time Eve laugh
ed till had stitch in my side to hear Old
DR.. Heartsease tell about them highsterics of
hers. You see one day she was took very bad
in one; the fact was, it was about haying-
time, and there was plenty to do, and she
wanted to shirk it, and go off visiting her
own folk, and leave Tidy ter do the work,
and she knew Marsh would send her if he
thought she was poorly; so away she goes,
working herself into hysteric, or convul-
sions or something, jest as well as if she knew
how to manufacture 'em and she did know
better most folks, for she'd been with a wo-
man who'd he'd 'em real. So Marsh he sad
dies up old Flyaway and brings old Dr. Heart
sease, and the DR.. takes pinch of snuff de-
liberate like, and looks at her tongue, and
feels her pulse, and finds out as how she's a
playing possum the worst kind: and saws he
ter Tidy, says he:
Jest bring me up a big pitcher of billing
water-9 6sttng '0ater; billing hot, remem-
ber-and a tin tunnelr'
Whatever in the world are you going for
to do, Doctor?" said Tidy.
'Never you mind, Tidy" says he. sTm
going ter cure her up; you jest run and bring
me big pitcher of billing hot water and
tin tunnel" Then while Tidy was gone for
'em, says he ter the PATIENT ''Now. Miss
Marigold, if you don't come out of that there
tit OF yourn'' land he spoke mighty stern
ike,) my treatment is, in such cases. fer
pour the billing water down the patients
throat through the tunnel" And, bless YOU
she came right out oft afore the billing wat
er and the tin tunnel got up stairs''
II feel better now," she saws; ''but amt
that rather severe treatment, doctor?'' for
you see she believed he meant to do it.
In severe cases." says he, eve use severe
measures and then he took another pinch
OF snuff and said good bye, and Marsh sent
her over to see her folks for fear she'd bev
relapse. You see, Lucy Ellen hedn't no
chance ter grow up as she oughter; since she
was child she heerd her mother act ont.
and tell all sort of white fibs-sucll as how
Marsh wanted her ter hev help, and she her
self wouldn't hear to it, nor be bothered with
servant about the house, a-putting their
fingers inter the jam, and a-stealing of the
clothes off ones back, when Lucy Ellen had
heerd her father say that he couldn't afford it
noway; and how Mr.. Marigold wanted her
to hev Leghorn bonnet and French flowers,
and for her part she thought it would be
wicked folly when so many heather hednt
anything but fig leaf, when Marsh he'd only
said that she might hev her old straw whit
ened and pressed over, and Lucy knew that
the heathen'd never git anything better if
they looked ter her; and then she'd tell how
Marsh wanted ter buy another horse when
knew he he'd to sell Flyaway to pay off part
of a mortgage. Oh, tell you, they were the
greatest cases for stretching of the stocking
out OF all kinds OF shape, so you'd hardly hev
know'd what it was in the first place. and. of |
course, Lucy Ellen got ter be chip of the |
Old block When she and her mother'd got
up their bonnets all by themselves. they'd |
make folks think they'd bought 'em over ter |
Shopville, and all that sort of deceit. They |
used ter make as though they he'd plum-cake |
tor tea regular, and damson preserves was
common as dirt, and green tea was drug.
and loaf sugar no great shakes But, gra- |
cious, you couldn't hev got the Young feilers
Ter believe word of it agin Lucy Ellen;
she,d jest bewitch 'em out of their senses |
Win her brown eyes and her bushes and her |
airs and graces; they'd a kissed the ground |
she walked on, but she jest amused herself
and then hung 'em over, as her mother did |
aiore her. And she was pretty piece, for
all her silly notions; for, you see, she looked
sight higher than any of the neighbors'
sons. Bless you, l doubt if there was a
match ter please her in all the country round |
she he'd such mind ter be a fine ladv. and |
not bring the water ter wash her hands: she |
thought it was downright vulgar ter work for
your living, or ter be seen doing it; and you
might know when the Marigolds was house
cleaning for there wasn't blind left open:
and washing days you might have pulled at |
the bell till you was blue afore you'd raised |
anybody, and they hung their clothes in the
But one day she got her come-up-ance.
\ on, see every spring the court comes down
here, and heap of lawyers along with it
me looking gentlemen, with kid gloves on
inelr hands, and lot of notions in their
neads' and bags full of papers and things.
wa al, one morning there comes a Young
Mr.. Barrister along with them, as handsome
rs picter, and with manners as like silk. and
any number of cases ter look ter. The mo-
lnent he clapped his eyes on Lucy Ellen he
was lost man. Law sakes, the pains he
look ter git introduced ter her! I heerd tell
as now he lost several cases that term. and
! cllents was mighty cut up. But Lucy FL
zen, she always seemed ter 90 on the princi-
PIE that the more bother she put a teller ter
the better he'd like her for it. So she huna
PACK IKE sixty, and jest firted with him ali
e oroes Ine courtroom, and on the street with
ner eyes, till by-and-by he cornered her one dav
a M got downright acquainted It was ALONG
= u ner pelng run away with by Young Rem,
pen fleets pony. You see, he was faLino
her out to drive, and jest got out ter the most