The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-08-17
THE EDITORS GUESTS.
~ WILL N. CARLETON.

The following, from the pen. OF tho new mt
~, cJ yo,,ng poct of the Northwest, was rcat
6y tho author before tho Michigan state Pub
fishers Association, Mt It's recent annual meet
ng at Bay City We cQnnlnena ,InsI ils perusal Z e
HE same time imbibo, in pleasant way, Som'
hmowodgo of the peculiar trials and troubles
ioys and sorrows, of an Editors life:
Tho Editor sat in his sanctum, his countc
nance furrowed with care,
Ills mind at tho bottom of business, his fee
at the top of chair,
Ills chairafhm N speT is bsuaR suRpof'ns ' i'sh
Ills eyes eyes on IN his dusty old table. with different
documents spread;
There were thirty, long pages from lIowlcr
with underlined capitals topped,
And short disquistion from Growlcr, re
qucsting his newspaper stopped;
Thcro were lyrics from Gusher, the poet, con
corning sweet flowers and 2cphyrs,
And stray gem from Plodder, the farmer, de-
scribing n couple of heifers;
There were billcts from beautiful maidCns, and
And his best best leader htchcd to letter, which
inquired if ho wrote it, or who?
There were rqptares OF RTaiscs ron writer's o
And ono of his rivals last papers informing
him he was fool;
There were several long resolutions, with
names telling whom they were by,
'lhnDnlTlnp sOlHC Vlu DIutH'i wiz
had done nothing worse than to die;
There were traps on that table to catch him
and scrpcnts to sting and to, ,smitc him;;, ;,
There were gift enterprises to sell him, and bit
tcrs attempting to bite him;
There were long staring "ads' from the city
Which added, "Plcasc give this insertion, and
send in your bill Whch yo~fedoac'. ,,.,.
There were letters from org9nizations-thcir
meetings, their wants, their laws
Which said, Canyon printths ANNOUNCE
for the good of our glorious causeE
There were tickets inviting his presence to
festivals pa,rties' ,S'ib nn9 PoNs: iSw
ticc," demurcly slipped in, at the close:
In abort, as his eye took the table, and ran o'cr
its ink spattcrcd trash,
There was nothing it did not encounter, except
ing perhaps 1t was cash.
Tho Editor drcamily pondcrcd on several pom
dcrous things,
On different lines of action, and tho pulling Of
different strings;
upsn some cquiyOcal doings, and uncquivocal
duns;
on how few Of his numerous patrons were
quietly prompt.paying ones; :,
On friends W no subscribed Just to help him,
and wOrdy encouragement lent,
And had given him plenty Of counsel, but
never had paid him cent;
On vinegar kind-hcartcd people were feeding
him every hour,
W no saw not INC WoTh lncg NcTc uOlne, DUl
wondered that "printcrs sour"
On several Intelligent townsmcn, whose kind
ness was so without stint,
That they kept an eye out on his business, and
told him Just what he should print;
On men who had rendered him favors, and
never pushed forward their claims
SO long AS the paper was crowded with Locals
containing their names;
ON various other small matters, sufficient his
temper to roll,
And finally conlriycd to be making the blood
of an editor boil.
And so ono may SEQ that his feelings could
hardly be said to be smooth;
And he needed some pleasant occurrence his
awakened emotions to soothc;
lie had it: for 10, on the threshold, slow and
reliable tread,
And farmer invaded the sanctum, and these
arc the words that he said:
Good morpin', sir, Mr.. Printer; how is your
body to-day?
IN glad you're to home; for your icllcrs is
alays away;
lour paper last week wasn't 50 spicy nor sharp
MS the ono week before;
But | s'p0Sc when tho campaign is opened,
you II be whoopn' il np TO 'cn more.
That follow that's printin' The ,Smashcr is go
in for you pretty smart;
And our folks said this mornin' mt breakfast,
they thought he was gcttin' the start.
"Dut hushcd 'cm right up in a mint and said
agood word for you;
| told 'cm believed you was tryin' to do just
aS well as you knew;
And told 'Cm that some one was Sayin and
whoever twas it is 50,
That you cant expect much of one man, nor
blame him for what he don't know.
But ayln' aside pleasure for business, I've
brought you my little boy Jim,
And | thought | would see if you cuul,ln I
make an editor outcn o him.
,u,, C,,,;I, o,ncL l. ;ncrc,s;n, vl;Ic ,,I,cr
folks seems to run short,
. yo got right smart of II famly-its ono of
the old fashioned sort,
There's lchabod, Isaac and l5rcal, wOrkin'
away on the farm
They do bout as much as one goOd boy-and
mako things go of like u charm.
There Moses and Aaron arc sly ones, and slip
like Il couple of ccls;
But they're liable steady in one thing they
al'ys git round to their meals.
There's Peter is busy invcntin' Though Uh0t
he nvCntS can sccl.
And Joseph is studyin' ,mcdicincand they re
both Of en- boardin' with me-
There's Abram and Albert is married, each,
wOrkin' my farm for himself,
And Sam smashed his noso at II shootin and
so he is laid on the shelf.
The rest of the boys arc all CROWN, 'ccpt this
little runt which is i'm;
And ! thought that perhaps I'd bc maxim an
editor Outcn y him.
"llc ain't no great shakes for to labor, though
I've laborcd with him n good deal
An | give him some strappin' good arguments
| know he couldn't help but to feel.
But he S built out of second class timber, and
Dothin' about him is big,
EXccptin' his appetite only, and there hc'5 as
good as pig.
81 keep him carryin' lunchcuns, and Gllin'
and bringin the Jug,
And take him among the pcrtatUcS, AMI set
him to pickin' the bugs,
And then there is things to be doin' u hclpin'
the women i'll tho doors
There's churnin' and washn' of dishes, and
other descriptions of chores,
But he don't take to nOthin' but victuals, and
hc'll never be much, I'm afraid,
so thought it would be u good notion to learn
him the Editors trade.
His body's too small for farmer his judgment
is rather too slim,
But | thought VIC perhaps could be making an
Editor Uutcn o him.
at an't much to get up Il papcr-it wouldn t
take him long for to learn;
lie could feed the machine, I'm thinkin', with
come good strappin' fellow to turn;
And things that was once hard in doing i easy
enough aop 10 do
Just keep an eye on your machinery. and
crack your arrangements right through.
used for to wonder ut rcadin', and when il
was got up, and how;
But 'tism most of it mnlc by machinery Il can
see it all plain enough now.
And poetry too, Is constructcdby machinery
oi different designs,
Zach one with u gauge and u chopper to see tu
the length Of the lines;
And hear u New York clairyoyant is running
ono slickcr than grease,
AMI rcMih' her hcayen-born productions at
n couple of dolIarsa piece.
An since the whole trade has growcd easy,
'twould be easy enough, I've whim,
If you was agreed, to be maxim an Editor
outcn of Jim.'
The Editor sat in lis sanctum, and looked the
old man in the eye,
Then glanced at tho grnning young Hopeful,
and mourniully made his reply:
rs your son n small unbound edition Of Moses
and solomon both?
Can he compass his spirits with mccLncSs, and
stranglc natural oath?
Tan he leave all his wrongs tn the future, and
carry his heart in his check?
Can he do an hour 5 work in Il minute, and live
ON siXpcncc week!
Can he colirteously talk to an equal, and brow
heat an impudcnt Ounce?
Can he keep things in applc-pic order. and de
q half dozen at OnceP
Can he press all the springs of knowledge will
quick and reliable touch?
And be sure that he knows how much 10 know
and kao,rg how to not know too much?
Does he know how to spur on his virtue, and
put q chcck-rcn on his pride?