The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1871-07-15
Wit and Wisdom.

hole.
How to keep your head clear-ohaye
every hair off.
A LADY IN this city says the latest
thing out is-her husband.
WHY are cashmere shawls like deal
people?. Because you cant make them
here
WHAT are the most disagreeabie artl-
cles for man to keep on hand ! Ans
Handouts.
PEOPLE say iron natures never weep,
and yet we have seen whole rows OF
canncns III tiers.
s'WHAr Shall Ny Son Be-" IS the
title of book. We should suppose 1T
would be boy.
WHEN a pickpocket pulls at your
watch, tell him plainly that you have
no time to spare.
An Oregon toast over glass Of the
ardent: Here's what makes us wear
old clothes.
WHY is the treadmill like true con
vert z Answer-Because It's turning IS
the result of conviction.
"THIs is a sweeping catastrophe, " as
the man said when his wife knocked
him down with broom.
VINO was the wisest man? kDoWer.
What did he know He knew enough
to go III out of the rain.
SAKE graphically describes a certain
case of beefsteak as San Infringement
on Goodyear's patent.
SPEAKING of apples, it Is remarkable
that the first apple in paradise should
have turned out the first pair
WHEN may man be said to be really
over head and ears IN debt Answer
When he hasn't paid for his wig.
Why does a coat get larger when
taken out of a carpet bag Because
when you take it out you'll find 1t in
creases
"MAMMA, said little boy who had
been sent to dry towel before the
fire, is it done when it's brown? 2"
AN Irishman recently soliloquized !:
'What waste O money to buy mate
when you know the half o it is bone,
when you can spend it for rum that
hasn't bone in IT. "
WHY is woman tying her corset like
a man drinking to drown care Because
in so-locing herself she becomes tight
A GENTLEMAN travelling on a steamer,
one day at dinner was making way with
a large pudding close by, when he was
told by the servant that it was dessert
1t matters not to me" he said, II
would eat it if it were wilderness
John ROGERS nine chHii'eR and one dt the
breast.
Were but nine as | make it." said Harry
There were ten as l figure it up" said his
guest,
"Or there would not have been one to
cdTy!'
ask for in a wife would be a good tenn
per, sound health, good understand
ing, agreeable pbysiognOmy, pretty
figure, good connections, domestic hah-
its, resources OF amusement, good
spirits, conversational talents, elegant
manners, aud money.
"YoU here, Jenkins How the deuce
did you find your way out ~ " Find
my way out Out OF where What
do YOU mean - Why the last time
| saw you you were lost-lost III slum-
Der" Oh-ah well, / rode out on a
nightmare -
An awkward-Iooking, stage struck
hcosier went to see one Of the theatri-
cal managers at Philadelphia lately,
and solicited an engagement. g. What
.alo ~'o..la s-ou prefer, ms friend! .
asked the manager. 50 Wali, Squire, :,
said the wQuld-be American Roscius
4 amt partial to rolls, no how; corIr-
6o1 pprG IL my f3yprltp -
In the execution OF a recent deed by
a man and his wife, the wife was taken
aside, before the acknowledgment was
made, by a commissioner, who, in the
usual form, asked, " Do You execute
this deed freely and without any fear
or compulsi0n OF your husband %
. Fear of my husband - exclaimed the
wife, Give had five husbands, and
never was afraid of any OF them !"
Mr.. NUDE, the author of some pop
ular works on 1.-The Seasons" was
originally a teacher IN Dundee. He
happened to be one OF tea party at
the house OF Rev DE- NJ The Doctor
was reputed for the suavltv OF his man
ners aud his especial politeness toward
the fair sex. Handing a dish of honey
to one of the ladies, he said, in his
wonted manner, "D0 take a little
honey, Miss -; It's SO sweet, SO
like yourSplf -