Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-06-08

fernal potash had eaten up the paper
boxes, and making its dev0uring way
to my cough-lozenges, and involved
my whole stock in one agglomerate
mass of ruin.
You have doubtless heard much OF
the happy elasticity of youth. There
Is, l grant, something available in
that, but ! found something great
deal better for my business in the
rapid growth and physical changes of
that period of my life. The fact is,
had grown and altered SO in appear
ance since | had first started out with
my corn-salve, that at the time of this
appalling accident no one Of my first
patients would have recognize me from
mere surgical acquaintance of two
years before. | may say here, in fact,
that these repeated changes in my
physical appearance, aided bv the crop
ing OF my hair, or the abandoning of
It to excessive length, and at last by
the coming of my beard, were. all
through my early experiences. of un-
told advantage 10 me. Thus in the
course of time, | became personally
acquainted with all the people who
could be cuped in a given region of
country, and with every new project
or nostrum | returned unrecognized 10
them over and over again. Now out
of the potashes OF the agglomera,c
rum of my entire stock in trade sprang,
Phenix-Iike, lucky Inspiration. as |
have before said, without the present
indifferent joke, which is altogether ac-
ciden,al. While contemplating my ir-
rctrleyablc loss conceived the idea
OF patent pain-killer. which | would
| 70 about selling To cure the sores left
/ by my corn-salve.
| As general thing. money, or. /
should say, the want of it, gets the i'm
mortal work out OF the iirst-class brains.
l read the substance of that remark in
newspaper; or was It magazine?
( 1t doesn't matter; | believe it, and |
verified it in the production of that
pain-kiiler that's enough. Well, sir.
the project worked TO charm CON-
menced operations, of course, in al
most the exact traces OF my former
chiropadal exploits. II was not long.
therefore, till | came upon my first
patient, the shoemaker. BEGAN eau
,iously 10 eNtol the stomachic virtues
OF medicine, and gradually led up to
its external application. 1t was good,
+. | assured him, for bruises, sprains,-
still keeping my eye stcalth,lv ou his,
| from under my hat, TO catch any faint
CLEAN ofrecognition, bruises, sprains,
wounds, sores
1 ON the fect| asked he, interrupting
me in my catalogue of positive cures.
/ Certainly better for the feet than
/ for anything else
/ We'll, have sore feet, and that's
| the fact, said the shoemaker. sYou
see there was rogue OF fellow
around here couple of years ago cur
ing corns, and he made nv feet so-If
ever catch the villain I'll use a strap
on him; that's what I'll do
| now felt sure, need scarcely add,
that my former patieat did not recog-
nize me, ard 50 sold him two bottles
Of paln-killer TO cure the sores | had
made two years before.
II was not, perhaps, rcmarka able
fact that ms pain-killer went faster
than my pain-maker, the corn-salvc
| did thriving business in this,-so
thriving, indeed, that gradually
/ / -,
tervening time between the sale of the
latter and former articles. That is.
my earlier traces became so recent
that my disguise grew perilous. But
there was such demand for the pain
killer that | went on, Notwithstanding
the danger. One day. however, en-
countered sturdy young fellow upon
whose feet | had operated not very
long before. In his eagerness for re-
lief he was in the act of purchasing it
At my hands, when, suddenly recos-
nizing me- he changed his mind and
gave me sound thrashing instead.
That put an end to the pain-kilIing
business. returned considerably
bruised to my headquarters, and set
all my energies to work on the inven-
ton of something less perilous to 9th
ers as well as myself. may say here
that | always kept the little town
which | have called my headquarters
open to me as an asylum, by leaving
it and its immediate neighborhood free
from all my medical and surgical ex-
periments. The result OF ny arduous
creative thought eliminated this time
in paste to make old razor-straps
new. 1t professed TO do its rejuvenat-
ing work by a simple application; yet
it did not sell very well. From the
very nature Of things l did not have
the credulous woman half of the world
to work upon; they had little or no
!, interest in superannuated razor-straps.
1t was this consideration more than
,, any other, think. which inspired Inc
,, with the brilliant aforethought OF
changing the name of my paste into
: that Of healing salve.
Thus the same article became at once
( endowed with universal curative vir
tues and became also the professed de
| siutIdtuiu Vi all uuluau ualuIc. sup
: pose it would not be modest in me t,
say that my salve was too good for it.
: original purpose. 1t is at least true
that, if it failed upon razor-strops, i
u succeeded admirably upon mankind
You will hardly believe me when tel
you, but still it is also true, that. b,
D means of an incipient beard and IN,
; hair grown long, and of q broad
;: brimmed slouch hat, as a disguise,
sold box Of my celebrated healin
q salve to that same innocent shoemake
= who has already twice figured as In
y customer Owing to nv pain-kilIel
y or the rccuperative nature of hi
II healthy frame, his feet we're about we'll
> and am glad TO add that there wa
's nothing in my healing salve that woui
materially prevent his ultimate recoy