The Ottawa free trader., 1871-02-11

thsy aso Awsye eeen together, this did not
seen qaits right - loag - they were twins.
The ethsr aay they were talking ii over at the
table at Asne. when ono Of the pair said: Ma,
I don't - Why We need b Be twins; can't you
get ~ divoros?' It 10 sssdlsss - renlrk
that there was some laughter around the board
SAsn sad there, - there has silce. when the
story Ass been tsld.-kad;sen tkis.) Journal
"A gentleman called into shop On New Years
Day aa4 vss shswn BY the merchant N article.
bald Tie merchant: 'If yen know Of man
yea dsspiss. utterly mean aud soatsnptibls, T.
whom, cficsurss, yea don't want to make preS-
eat, bat TO whom you feel obliged to. buy this,
aAd give Il - him. The gentleman thought .
moment and said, "rll take it," The nsxt nsrn.
ing the merchant who sold the article found il
On hA table st breakfast
HIGH 6TRUNG.-Ssid an American 10 IN 1rish.
nan. my ancestors came from Ireland, my
naas u Bryant; did you ever knew any people
Of that Aans in Ireland ?"
20. -, great many Of them.'
"Well. what sort Of people were they3 Prot
~ high strung, were they notI"
20, I've sssa great many of thea strung -
high that their feet did not touch the ground"
AT . party in Portsmouth,, n. H., q few eve.
nings siaoe. one of the gentlemen having to pay
forfeit in . game. tho penalty awarded was
tAst hs shs0ld 60 TO the door and count nun.
Der OF STAN in company with lady, whsrsupoa
young niss who was present created q sensa.
ton by getting up aud seriously objseting, On
the grouad that the young man was engaged to
her sister, aud she would not SIT there and sec
any such thing done.
A couple were married "fsr fun" in Troy the
other evening, sad they didn't know until the
conslusisn Of the ceremony that the gentleman
whs united then was really . Justice of the
Peace. They accepted tho situstion pleasantly,
however, invited their friends to . reception,
aad .ss new living together precisely g il their
marriage had not been IN accident.
famous since the hrst. A story illustrative of
the sinplicty Of one Of his successors is told to
the effect that he wrote to his steward and said :
1--WE are coming down, . large party, in . day
Or two, t. eat straw wbsrriss and cream. We shall
want plenty of tho latter, - don't let any Of the
osws b milked ueanwhile"-s curious notion of
vaccine economy.
Troy hcgs break into houses and root people
out Of bed.
Wild cats are - plenty in Alabama that dogs
come hems without any hide 10 speak Of
An exquisite dancing cotllion accidentally
bumped his head against . lady in the SET "Ah,
excuse tne, desh. did it hurt you 2" "Oh, no, it
is too soft to hurt anything" she replied.
Father. won't yos buy me 6sh pole ?" said
apioss boy. "Ysu know the bible says, spare
tae red aad spoil the child
The WstHr Commissioner in Jersey City shut
of the supply Of water thsrs few days ago, aad
q man vhs don't read the papers worked whole
day with hot bricks, trying to 'tAAv eat" his
hydrsat.
pair sf deg chained ct his front door, - that the
poor people who stop to get . bite" caA bs ~.
eonnsdstsd without taking the trouble 10 90 in
A good .snber fer Grants Gan Domingo ssm.
mississ-Prof. Lis-Big.
An old criminal, sentenced BY Judge Bedford
to fvs years, lsivsly remarked; THAT Judge
is Aios Little fellow. but guess he's never beea
to Jail hinsslf, or hs wouldn't have tucked it on
% ha.d.'
There IL tive hundred and ninety. -four loaves
Of bread made from . barrel Of -four, which at
ten cents loaf would yield twenty y-niAe dollars
and forty cents barrel.
Bsckgannou-A lady's waterfall.
A woman's bow idesl-The marriage tie.
Ungallsut-To style lYillusrs' girls common
sewers.
The popular tipple known - tom and Jer.
~" is said to have derived ito nsne from tho
faot that after msa has drank several times in
succession, he won't know whether his name 10
Tom or Jerry.