The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1871-08-25
LOUISVILLE ITEMS.

see Press Excursionists, by the quaint
and retired city of Louisville. We think
the Louisvillian ought not to be rashly
condemned or hastily censured, for they
certainly ought to know what estimate
to place upon Tennessee Editorsl
Business is so dull and inactive in
Louisville that she had to cut ditch
through the town to see which way the
water In the Ohio runs.
The most successful trade in Louis
vile is derived from watching the river
and picking up the offal that comes from
Cincinnati.
LOUISVILLE does such q diminutive
Commercial business that she keeps her
accounts in small Journal and Ledger,
by the faint light OF the setting Sun.
THR members of the Press Associa-
alton being fond OF rural sport, enjoyed
chasing rabbits and gathering blackber-
ries in Louisville on their recent $50
called" so.journ in that deserted vil-
lsge."
THR Press Association visited the
Skating Rink at Louisville-the only
place ofamusement except beer gar
den, the city affords-and actually
thought the feats were performed on ice
the people were so cold.
IT is reported that half of the male cit
liens of Louisville soampered in wild
confusion when they heard the Tennes-
see Press Association were coming, sup
posing it was the advance of BRACES
army coming to press them into con-
scription.
THE Louisville people having moth
ing else to do, stand around the depot,
and when they see whole car loads OF
messengers pass through for Cincinnati,
make rye faces and shake their fists at
them-aiter they get out Of sight.
Tn srov0ry keepers IN Louisville
were badly "sold' when the Press AS
ISOLATION visited that city. They sup
posed that all editors we're like their
own, and at once raised the price OF
drinks" thinking to reap rich har-
vest. The Excursionists "smiled" at
their gullibility, and passed on.
THE City Of Riots becoming dishesrt-
ened and Disguised with the attempt at
building town on its present site, have
abandoned the idea, and are now seri
ously debating a removal to the mouth
Of Salt River.
IT is amusing to see some folks put on
airs. When Louisville was a respect
able < Roads town, supporting a mill,
blacksmith shop, &c, the inhabitants
calledit Le,CiS-viUe; now, since they
have assumed city pretensions, they
pronounce it Lome-Ville.
THE City Of Riots came near having
another fatal outbreak the other day.
The managers Of the magnificent enter
tainment given to the Press Associa-
| ton at Cincinnati, in their great good
ness OF heart, shipped to the hungry
; and destitute of Louisville the frag-
ments Of that grand occasion, and the
scrsmbles for the spoils havn't been
equaled since BRACES raid.
DISAPPOINTED, chagrinned and NOR
titled, Louisville retires In humiliation
from the unsuccessful contest she at
tempted TO wage with Evansville as 6
wholesale market; and hoping to regain
her lost honors, enters the field against
Paducah and Cairo.
LOUISVILLE is an old, dilapidatet
town, celebrated for its riots when i
had a population to justify, long ditcl
to keep the water in the Ohio from stag
mating in front OF the village, an arte
sian well, skating rink, and a yer,
muchly pressed hospitality. Her PEG
pie principally drink loo wines tina
never paid tie tax, and feed on drie,
apples, blackberries, catfish, and Gin
cinnati crdcHings, and are happy.
The T0uisyilIiars are peculiar people
They viii neither cat the grass tina
hourishcs SO luNuriantly in their broaD
@ and quiet streets, nor will they permi
Z the hungry and half-starved cows to d
' so. They get mad as the hoy with th
: broken Jewsharp, at everything tina
g comes in competition with them, an
Il despise everybody who e1cels then
They set up, some time since, to do
wholesale business, and one Of our Ell
terprising little Tennessee mountai
cities toIled Off the bulk Of their be:
customers; and upon recapitulating the
business, were indignant to learn thu
CowAN, MCCLUSG & Co., at Knoxville
had done a heavier business than an
u concern in their city by over millio
Of dollars per annun! They forthwith
called a public meeting, and resolve
something must be done" TO stop thi
r. and as the Tennessee Press Associate
Z came along, mistaking Lou isville-
II was so very quiet-for Cave City, stol
nj ped TO explore its hidden wonder
n thought this a good time to get eve
/ and showed their wrsthful indignatic
10 1t permitting the entire force Of Tenne
IS quill-drivers to come and depart
peace" Poor old Louisville. 81
needs a rail- instead Of a canal, ar
~ when she gathers her grass-crop,
hope she will be happy.
"a But Louisville after all her bite
ness has some redeeming qualities, al
numbers among her inhabitants SOL
noble, whole-.oulcd citizens. Then s
is in Kentucky, and that is somethin
at The warm and hospitablo welcome e
tended 10 the Press Association by n
o. KEESB, the popular and public-spirit'
r. proprietor Of the great Maxwell,
lis Nashville, and the Louisville Hot
was worthy Of all praise. 1t was indie
ng such truly magnificent and prince
entertainment that the Louisville pa
Is ers we're struck 20 dumb-founded
OF not to be able to let the public know
extent and splendor, but we learn fro
those present, it wac magnificent
casion. Mr.. KEENE knows how to g
OF such entertainments, and justly ran
tv. at the head of the list among the Ho
at landlords of America. II we had
" ill-will to wish Louisville, II would
satisfied in having KEKYH shut up
=, hotel and leave the town TO its destil
n
ID An Inquest.
ks An inquest holden at or near
well of john SRCREsT, in the county
in Maury and State of Tennessee, on
re- 10th day of August, 1871, before ].
gs, ELLINGTON, ]. p, OF said county, NJ
af- the body OF GEORGE MCGAFFoLK, &c