Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-02-24
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especially in the free-lunch saloons,
where he knew everybody would be
sure to see it, Mr.. Doolittle seated
himself just within the door of his
counting room, with a ma | keg be-
tween his knees, and a young man
seated at some little distance behind
him, with his back to the door. In
that nail keg were half a bushel Of
nickels, and in the hands of that
young man were a blank-book and a
pencil, which, from his remarkably
abstracted air, he was supposed to
be handling merely because he had
nothing else to do and plenty Of time
in which to do it. Very soon the
hour arrived when, in that city of
lager and lunch-ticnds, everybody,
wiping his mouth on the skirt of his
coat, is OH his way back to business,
and, as the average Cincinnatian
will go long distance out of his
way for much smaller sum than
Mr.. Doolittle had advertised his
readiness to pay, that enterprising
and Conscientious publisher was
not surprised to find his "subscri-
bers" rapidly dropping in to be re-
imbursed. With a smile that was
child-like and bland, Mr.. Doolittle
handed them each a nickel and ask
ed them each two leading questions:
!. "Excuse me, but is this Col.
Halstcad?"
Flattered at the idea of being mis-
taken for the renowned warrior of
the Commerciai, the "subscriber"
invaiably answered, "No, my name
is Tom, or Dick, or Harry" or
whatever it happened to be; where
upon Mr.. Doolittle would exclaim,
"What! not General Tom, or Dick,
or IIarry?" and then the "subscri-
ber," again tlattered, would smile
benignly and give his name in full.
2. 81 hope you like our paper
how long. have you been subscrib-
err"
Taken off his guard by the unsus-
pected question, the rascal would
generally say, "About six months" ;"
And the answers to the questions
thus obtained were promptly record
ed by the abstracted young man in
the rear with the blank book and
pencil. When several Subscribers"
came in at the same time, of course
Mr.. Doolittle had to obtain by a
shorter process the infqrmation he
wanted, but he seldom failed to get
it either enc way or the other.
In less than three days, during
which the reimbursing department
Of the establishment was kept run
ming at concert pitch, the nail keg
was empty, and Mr.. DoolittIe had
the satisfaction that the young mans
list of Subscribers" exhibited q
grand total that the books of the
Office had never hoped for in their
widest dreams. Against each of
these "subscribers" Mr.. Doolittle
Immediately proceeded to make out
bill for six months subscription,
more or less, and then turned ont to
hunt him up, which, with the aid Of
the city directory and of that keen
instinct implanted in the infant
mind by the shadow of the Bunker
Hill Monument, was less difficult
task than one would'bc apt to sup
pose. Of course everybody when
his bill was presented denied that
he was a "subscriber" to the paper,
but on being reminded of the little
nickel transaction in the counting
room and the questions asked and
answered on that occasion, he suf-
fercd himself, under the mental and
moral prostration caused for the
moment by the recollection Of the
thing, to be bullied into settle
ment of the bill. Mr.. Doolittle was
not the man to give that class of
subscribers" much time for devils
ing means of escape from the nickel
baited trap into which they had SO
blindly walked. He seized them by
the throat, as it were, and fairly
shook the money out of them before
they could possibly rccollect that
the obtaining of very small sums of
money under false pretenses was
not, under the laws of Ohio, crime
punishable with death.
And when Mr.. Doolittle had gath
cred in the harvest of greenbarks
which had sprung from the keg of
nickels he had sown broadcast over
the city, and when he had counted
his gains and found that he had
reaped several dollars for every
nickel he had sown, he took an early
morning stroll, with his carpet bag
in his hand, out in the direction OF
the depot Of the little Miami rail
road, and in a short time thereafter
discovered himself the proprietor of
a fine family grocery in his native
city, where he now permanently re-
sides, in the enjoyment Of an easy
competence and in the constant ex-
pcctation of being elected to Con-
UrpSS