Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1871-06-10
MIsCELLANEOUs.

MlDCELLANEVUSs
How to get along well--Have II
dug deep. niis a'pd dfie eshW ts
Meantime--The time when ones
note falls due. tia +ais*
Whatever Is, is right--except your
left hand and foot. a
If twice eleven are twenty-five,
how can twice ten be twenty too?
What Is that which must play be-
fore It can work ? A fire engine.
THE sting Of u bee carries convic-
tlou with tilt makes bee leaver at
once. W
The man who ran away from his
creditors became tired and concluded
to take arrest. s~
A boy who undertook to ride a horse
radisll Is now practising on saddle
of mutton. 3l4 8
Rich men should recollect, In. maxi
Ing their wills, that It Is 6uy6erous
to cut off the natural heir. tiiH
One who knows says that in the
country they blow horn before din
her, but In town they take one.
A pious old Pittsburger gets close
to the footlights when =" The Black
Crook Is on, because his hearing Is
bad.n
A wag lent clergyman q horse,
which ran away and threw him, and
then claimed credit for laid In
spreading the Gospel"
Art dogma--An artists wife never
admires her husbands work 50 much
as when he Is drawing her q check.
{ Punch.
One Of the papers contains an adj
vertisement: " Lost, a large, black
silk umbrella, belonging to = gentle
man with curiOusly carved head
Rusticus, in commenting upon the
present style of female couture, says |:
" It must be a very poor soil that re-
quires 80 much t0p-dressing."
A boy, bawling In the street, was
asked the cause Of his trouble, and re-
piled II want my mamma; that's
the matter. / told the darned thing
she'd lose me-" a shs3asm 81 =
The last person to inherit SEA. 900
from "a relative In England Is Jack
Low, a livery stable keeper in Knox
Vile. He'll do. He already holds
Jack Low, and the $50, 900 may fairly
be considered high gamc.--Louisviiie
Ledger. ti,Hs
"Whisky is your greatest enemy.n
''But," said Mr.. Jones, ''iOn't the BIZ
BILE, say, Mr.. Preacher, that we are to
love our enemies?" Oh, yes, Jones,
but 1t don't say we are to swallow
them.n
THOUSANDS of wild geese got lost
by getting into the smoke while fly
ing over Pittsbury the other day, and
they few around there for several
hours, until finally man came along
with q lantern, when they followed
him of into the country.
"FELLow trablers," said a "cul-
ludn preacher, "ef had been eatin'
dried apples for week, an den took
to drinkin' for mont, / could not
feel more swelled up dan / am dis
minnit wild pride and vanity ut seein
such full tendance hear dis eveilin. <
The fears that the heather Chinese
would Overrun the country are pre-
mature. In California, out of pop
ulation Of $50, Dob, only 1881 are
Chinese, while of other foreigners
there are nearly 100000. In San
Francisco the Chinese number l2,O22.
ATTORNEYS are In Washington al
ready arranging the claims Of British
subjects which are included in the
trA.atu ouA afo "a fhut Il, NJ, - e. . :.
he a much larger sum than has been
previously estimated; those to be
presented by domiciled British sub
jects in New Orleans count up two
millions.
An exchange says, milkmaids who
are good singers are paid higher
wages than tho,e who are not; be-
cause, under the influence of music,
cows give down better and more
milk :" and adds, An Orange Coun-
~ milk producer is trying to engage
Kellogg and Parepa Rosa to sing
around his pump"
After June SOth next the pay of en-
listed men In the army will be re-
duced to the ante-bellum standard,
that II, for infantry men, Sl3 per
month, instead of $l6. There will be
corresponding reduction of 50 per
month In other branches Of the SER
vice, including marines. This reduc-
ton will decrease the expenses Of the
army 81, 100000 per annum.
The Lynchburg Republican says
I" Lynchburg boasts Of u sun dial
which was made In London IN the
year 1888, and which, consequently,
Is now 443 years old, and which, when
Columbus crossed the ocean blue and
planted his standard on American
soil, enjoyed the ripe old age of six
four years. The age of this venera-
BILE n0ter Of the SUMS course appears
TO be unquestiOned, and IL doubtless
the oldest specimen Of mans handi-
work which this country can furnish"
JUpaE c., of Memphis, was recent
ly called to preside as chairman Mt
u public meeting In that city. Du-
ring the proceedings an exciting dis
cussion sprung up, and amid the con-
fusion of loud speeches, motions aud
cross motions, one speaker called out
impatiently to have his motion put
to the meeting. "Has your motion
n second ?" inquired the chair. "Yes,
sir; 1t has fifty seconds, at least. ~
"rhen let II have ten more and the
chair will make minute of it,"
LETTERS from Rome again insist
that the Pope Is approaching his end.
He has "hying dropsy in his legs,
and at last accounts was believed to
he In very critical condition. There
was suspicion IN the Holy City that
IL he should die his successor would
he elected before any one would be
informed Of the decease. Prince Sig
ismondo Chigi, brother Of the Muncio
at Paris, c0nservatOr and official
s uardian Of the Conclave, Is under
stood 10 have been summoned 10 the