The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1871-12-07
Jedediah Parsley's Letter.

DEAR SIR Perhaps you never went
Down East about muster time and
Thanksgivin', and in course you don't
know nothin' about huskin' trolics and
parin' bees and such like. In such
case, I'm into you all about no partic-
ular measure at all, seein' its you, and
| don't kere it l let you into some sar-
tin doin's in these parts, that come
off, as you Workers say. next fall will
be tn years. Now, if do tell the hull
story, / shall depend on your 'onor.
(and kalkilate that's rayther better
than Mississippy bonds). that you
won't let out oK me, cause if you did
1 should have Hetty Gawkins in my
hair in no time, and may be sooner,
and Prudence Parr wouldn't never let
me stay with hir agin in all creation.
So here goes and as every thing has
a title nowadays, l go in for the
PAIRlN' BEE.
And you never went tn Pairin' Bee
Well, to tell the fair truth never
did tu only one. and pair me into hoop
poles if ever dew agin. 1t was rale
screamer, for that matter. both on ac-
count of what happened there, and
what befel afterwards. l have been
tn huskin' trolics, and quiltin's and
musters, and fourth of Independence,
and raisin's, but to one ginewine, high
preshure Parin' Bee, and blame the
luck but before l got threw l had an
all sufficient great PairiR' scraped off
my shin bone, along with a pair OF
new boots all gone to smash, besides
pair of spoilt trowsers for mother
tn scold about for a year afterwards.
Y ou see Col. Gristle made the party.
You know Col. Gristle | s'pose. He's
the Major of our regiment, thow we
calls him Colonel out of compliment.
Well, the Colonel and his wife, and
Coz. Becky, made the froiick, and in
course l had an invite, and so did all
the gals and feliers for milds round.
1t was goin' tn be a famous one, and
so mother she went up to help Coz.
Becky git out the fixin's the day afore,
and when she cum hum that mite, by
golly! if my mouth didn't water, when
she told over about the ovensfull of
punkin pies and piles of doenuts, to
say nothin' about the 'lasses cake and
new cider, already and slowed away
in the back buttery. She said how
the Colonel was goin' tn set the two
birch tables in the fore room, and kali
kilated tu fix some boards in the kitch-
en- tn put the rest of the Wills on ar
ter they'd got done pairin and as they |
expected about 40, all told, and there
want cheers enuff for all tn set, they |
had got tn eat standin', which was the
most perliter way, and the Colonel he |
Ene,0 for he had been to the Legisla-
ter all last winter and seed how the /
great folks dun it. Gracious thowt /,
If don't make up for that thow,-I |
,oh Eof 4
down SO much strater. Well towards |
reddy, who should cum along but Jim
thick, and told each other every thing. I
rite as book" sell, chow is YOURS ?"
going up to the Kurnel's to mite 2"
I" Yes, by hoky J" sez |, :. if can ever
git these 'tarnal boots on. "Pore
they'll go on as smooth as ite." They
were bran new pair of caff skin and
had been tugin' at the strap haff an
hour afore Jim cum, so l run for the
sope dish, an i in went near pint of
muther's best, and sure enuf, on they
went, squash! why, you darned
fool!" says Jim, "you orter pored the
sope afore you stuck your feet in."-
g Well, never mind" sez /, for was
in an orful hurry, cuz it was git
tin late, ''never mind-they feel cool
and comfortable jest now-mebby it
will soften the leather" and off we
started. l had on ny new drab trow-
sers. We had just got the cloth hum
from the mill, and Aunt Kitty sot up
all mite to finish them for the occasion
Ny coat was only cumin' tn years old,
and felt that wafn't tn be sneeZed al
by folks what hadn't got no noses.
Jim and agreed afore hand that we'd
borrow Deacon Dlmond's old mair
and wagin, and SO bring home some
of the gals; so we went intu the
old Deacon's to git her as we went
along. The old man was pesky feer'd
she'd cut up sum infarnal caper with
us. cuz, you see, she was sorter skittish
like, and besides he knew that Jim
was rayther O wild feller, and didn't
kere no more for ninepence than a
blue cat does when her tail is up. But
told him I'd drive and be kereful,
and to clintch the matter we paid him
two shillings down, and promised him
the other the next day--so he told lis
If we thought we could catch the beast
we might try it, and out we went to
the paster. But the old mair was as
shy as a black fox, and wouldn't be
come over so easy. She laid her ears
back. on her neck, and rolled out the |
white of her. eye, as much as to say
(" nothin' green here, youngsters" and
off she started, ON q tall trot, her tail
switchin' this way and that way like
all natur, clear to tother end of the
paster. A weary chase we had of it
tell We, afore we could corner her.
At last we got her in between the
fence and big rock, and Sim he crept |
up on one side, and l on tother, till at
last made grab at her foretop.
But no sooner did lay my hand On