The Van Buren press., 1871-04-11
A Racy Incident Commissioner Pleas
anton in an Embarrassing Pre-.
dicament.


We copy as follows from the Wash
ington correspondence Of the Cincinnati
Commercial.
l heard good story last night about
our new Commissioner of Internal Reve
nue.. | told you in former letter that
the vehement female committee Of eigh
teen, all strong minded, was here in per-
petual session, sitting in solemn conclave
in Brother Senator Pomeroy's commit
tee room from which the sensitive and
blushing Scott Smith was driven by their
discussions. These females do not pro.
pose to lose anything through lack OF
energy and activity. They rush about in
the liveliest manner, capturing the men
brutes on all sides, and strengthening
their cause very much as Sampson car
red out the gates, through sheer force
They do not seem to have read the
Rt. Rev. Henry Ward Beecher's beauti,
full little story Of the rose bud. Instead
of wooing with a gentle persuasion Of
the south wind, they come upon fellow
with tue force of hurricane.
The other day, General Pleasanton, a
delicate, sensitive little gentleman, was
dressing for dinner. He had divested
himself of every garment except the one
spoken Of by Hood in that melancholy
song called "The Song Of the Shirt. :"
He was sailing about under bare poles,
when he heard knock at the door, and
supposing it to be his man-who ought
f, har nd ho
out Come ill.," To his utter conster-
nation. that constitutional female known
as Mrs. Woodruff, with peaked hat and
mans overcoat, terminating in unmis.
takakable crinoline, stalked in. AS she
did not Immediately stalk out, but stood
looking at the Commissioner OF Internal
Revenue in the abstract, the last named
gentleman, hiding behind an arm chair,
suffered out, Excuse me, madam"
IL want to see you on business, Gen.
Pleasanton
"Well, madam, won't you be so good
as to come to my Office? / am not in q
condition to see any one on business just
now, and | beg ofyou To Iesist and come
to the bureau -
uoh SaiC oDOus VOui
condition, Gen. Pleasanton but it is a
matter Of some Importance that wished
to see you upon, and this is as good an
opportunity as any"
my God madam" exclaimed the
agonized Commissioner, shifting his 4.
nancial person from one leg to another,
"won't you permit me to dress for din.
ner?'
IL have no objection to your dressing
for dinner, but what | want to know is,
what are you going to do about this Van,
derhilt case1 That Vanderbilt case is n
great outrage, sir. and ! can see that
somebody IS to be swindled out Of half a
million OF dollars" and here followed a
statement oil the Vanderbilt case, that oc-
cupied just twenty minutes by the clock,
and was very forcible and emphatic. At
the end Of it, when the strong minded
constitutional Woodruff paused for
breath, the Commissioner said:
Il don't know anything about the
Vanderbilt case, madam. have not
looked at a single paper. l have not
heard anything but what you have told
me. have not had time. My God,
don't get time to get on my breeches. l
don't want to be rude, but | wish you
would go away and let me dress. p"
At this moment knock was heard at
the door. and Peasanton yelled louder
than ever he gave command to a battall-
ion, "Come in" The door opened, and
the substantial figure and handsome face
of our Commodore Alden appeared upon
the entrance. So soon as he did this.
the commissioner chassezed from the
rear Of his arm chair to the back Of so.
ia, and Alden thinking that he was intru
ding upon some tender scene between the
General aud the female, beat hasty re.
treat.
Bat the Commissioner was not to be
forsaken, and he ran to the door, jsfked
it open, and, with the tail end OF his lin