Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-07-27

EoA euy SAhhhAoAAu5 'aEuL Is ueur.
All the way ts shining clearer,
AS we Journey ever nearer.
TO the everlasting home; r..
Comrades who await our landing,
Friends who round the throne are stand
ing,
We salute you, and we come.
Breyilies and Leyities.
80 , -, l1.
~ A Western editor was run away
with by fast horse. After the surgeons
had collected the pieces together and got
them pretty well matched, the editor
wrote leader against fast horses, favor.
ing the substitution of camels.
@- If we could read thesecre history
of our enemies, we should find in each
rnan's.life sorrow and suffering enough
to disarm all hostility.
5ns> A joyous dalnsel rushed into q
citizens arms at Savannah, exclaiming,
"Oh, you are my long-lost brother ~
She soon discovered. her mistake, and
rushed Off In confused manner, accom-
panied by her long-lost brothers pocket
book.
aS> Goodness of heart is mans best
treasure, his brightesthonor, and noblest
acquisition. 1t Is that ray of the Divini-
ty which dipnifies humanity.
lB- Aschool committee hi frontier
district are reported to have summed up
their opinioH of an examination which
they had attended by making to the pu-
pills this address, "You've spelled well,
and you've ciphered good, hut you amt
sot still" g.
E The annual report Of an education
al institution In an Eastern State men
tons the resignation of one of the teach
ers, a young lady, to "engage in domes-
tic relations
~" A lady in Wyoming complains
that, notwithstanding the female suffrage
law, hundreds of her sex in that Terrific
ry refuse to vote unless coaxed by good
looking men.
- 1t is of no advantage to have q
lively time if We are not just. The per:
fection OF tic pendulum is not to 80 fast,
but TO move regular.
aa.- Old BILLY W, Of. Fluyanna
County, Ohio, was dying. He was an
ignorant man, and a very wicked one.
Or. D, an excellent physician, and
a very pious man, was, attending him.
The old fellow asked for bread. The
doctor approached the bedside, and in a
very solemn tone remarked: my dear
fellow, man cannot live by bread alone"
"No" said the old fellow, rcviving /;
he's 'bleeged to have few Vegetables ~
H- The following paragraph shows
some of the new words that have been
coined by tho modern school Of journal
lists: He cXcurted day or two OH beer,
and getting short he burgled little. But
he was soon copped and jailed. The
news was Immediately wired tohis amiu-
BILE wife, who rallied to him at once"
gsy- There are many parodies on "Nla-
ry's Little Lamb" among the most re-
cent stands.
Mary had a little lamb.
Its fleece was white as cotton,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb would go a-trottin."
But this has been cclipsed by the "boy
poet" who wrote
johnnie had William goat,
His wool like dirty cotton,
His tail was short, he srnelt quite strong,
AS If he had been rotten"
10 A Cleveland newspaper rejects
communication styled ".An Hour with
the Spirits," because the writer's name
is not appended. The kind of spirits
they keep in Cleveland, before he has
been with them fifteen minutes, renders
the most ablc-bodled writer powerless
to sign his name.
gw Boys shouldn't go a-fshing on
Sunday. The case of a boy in Reading,
Mass, presents sad warning. While
he.was devoting the. Sabbath to fishing,
his parents cut apqa pineapple for tea,
ind when he returned there was not
bit of it left.
g- 1t is positively asserted tilat the
dogs of Calhoun, Georgia, have become
80 habituated to having tinware attached
to their tails that whenever one of them
sees tin kettle lying in the road. he
backs up to it, and waits for somebody
to tie it on. And any one who yearns for
9 first-class story, exactly adapted to the
dogs, is at liberty to believe it.
w Boarder-"T "This tea seems very
weak, Mrs. skimp." Landlady-" Wen,
guess it must be the warm weather Il
feel weak myself; in fact, everybody
complains"
/ gg>" Should drunkards marry ?"asks
one Of those men who persistin torment
ing the world with unanswerable conun-
drums. But this has q halfway answer.
Paul says it is better to marry than to
burn, so go long with your hard ques-
lions, and don't bother,us.
: -----------<~De-~-
] GIRLS, BEwAlnE.-Girls, beware of
transient young men. Never suffer
The addresses OF q stranger. Recol-
.ect that one coed & Farmers boy, or
Industrious Mechanic, is worth all |
5he floating tops,in the world. The
allurements of a dandy Jack, with a.
,hoe brush over his upper lip, a gold
,hain round his neck, q walking-stick
n his paw, cent cigar in his mouth,
,orne honest tailor's, coat Oh his back,
md a brainless though. fancy skull,
ieverq can make the loss of a
yoodi fathers home, q good mothers
counsel, and the society of brothers
ind sisters; their affections last, while /
hat of such a young man is lost I'm i
he decline of a honeymoon This |
8 true. ]