Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1871-02-17

| it is necessary 10 make them squeal
and then judge by the sound
A story is told in Oregon about
/ young man who proposed in Sunday
] school that ga committee of young la-
| dies and gentlemen be appointed %
raise children for the sabbath schuoL'
Thompson is not going to do any
| thing more in conundrums. BE re-
| Gently asked his wife the differences be-
tween bis head and hogshead, aud
she said there was none. He said tlar
was not the right answer, and left.
The inquiry as t. where all the pins
go to has been satisfactorily answered.
1 The theory now is that they GO into
the ground and become terrapins-
81 came near selling my boots the
other day, said Scuttle 90 a friend
''EIow so2' well, had them half
soIed."
''BIary had a little lamb"
/ I've heard so often said,
That oil know abOutitla,
wish that lamb was dead.
TheIatest novelties are evening shoes
for ladies, which are made with gilt
| heels, and avery great deal of gold em-
/ brOidery over the instep, and gilt caps
| to the toes.
! A kiss, says q French authoreHs,
gives more pleasure than anything
| else ia the world But Puck declares
I that that woman evidently never cN-
! scending the parlor stairs by Sliding
/ down the banisters.
! An effort is being made to displaco
/ the long established hoop skirt. A.
gored hail clotE skirt, stiHeue1 with
bair cords running horizontally
I around the garment and enlarged at
I the bottom with haircloth douncas is
frT Na, e.rH- a.
A country poet, after looking about
over life, has come to the follow
ing rhymlng cOncluslons % u
wouldn't live forever. i wouldn't if 7
could; but I needn't fret about it, for i
COULDN'T If wOuld.'
The natural produce Of wheat in our
country, under careless cultivation. is
about sixteen grains to one; the unus-
ual produce under the highest order
Of garden culture. has gone as high as
even seven thousand four hundred and
forty-live grains to one.
New Hampshire up-country farmers
when they went down To Hthe city"
used to take home bits Of coal iu their
pockets to show the children what
curious stuff they burned down n Boss
ton.
"AGy dear friend, - said a gentleman
to bankrupt, ''I'm sorry to hear OF
your misfortune. Your family has
my warmest sympathies." sob, don't
trouble yourself about my family,
looked OUT for them, YOU bet Jus-
save your sympathies for the families
of my creditors"
One of the Mount Washington me-
teorologists recently descended 90 tho
base on a piece of board placed over
the central rail containing the ntchet
work of the railroad in ahoutforty nve
minutes, regulating the velocity With
pair of short legs nom sleeper lo
sleeper-distance three miles.
Accommodating Newb0ys-' Egen-
ing paperi Evening paperi Tenth
editionl Another great GermQu vic-
tory 2" Mons. Chose-"Go AWAY vid
your paper; I am Freuchmau. Ac-
cOmmodating Newsboy IAN Eht,
yer honor; here's another, where che
Germans ha' gota haWful lickin'-
Fun.
A Birds aud Worms calico party
is TO come on ON the % p instant at
Rochester. The Invitations are ouE
and printed On calico paper, ot cOurse,
Six hundred perfumed handlrcrculels
VIII be distributed among the ladies
on the night of the ball. Ihe ladles
and gentlemen are expected So attire
themselves in calico.
a girl oftwenty, at Alton IlI, is
digging a. well for her father at seven
tv-five cents foot she has already
put down two feet. Usually when a
women puts her foot down g bodies uo
good bur in Illinois, when she puts
down two feet, it means we'll
"CuHee, what dc YOU tink the most
useful OF de planets, de sun or do
moonp' 'tWel Sambo, I tinE the
moon Orter take fusr rank in dat ~
tlclzler.N ttANhy you tinlz 80 Cuue1
"Well, / tell Won itase she Shines ly
night, when we want light, aud de sum
shines by dav when we don't.
The other day, whuo q toaehor was
hearing q boy ricitc his lesson tne lol-
lowing passage occurred; Ahe Waee
of sin is death. Ihe teocueI wlshe4
tion, asked, ''What does your father
get every Saturday nieht2n The bow
answered promptly "he gets aronki'
Mr.. Rothermel having finished
large picture OF the Battle Of 9ettys-
burg for the State OF Pennsylvania, 90 en-
cost Of 81, 900, &c is discovered that
there IS no building in aorri5ourEi
the state capital, suitable torecciEe l..
Philadel phia and Pittsburgh are thcro-
fore bidders for the picture each otlcr-
ing Go provide properly for its care
"Now. aentlemen. % said sheridan io
his guests, as the ladies left the roomi
Let us understand each other. Are we
to drink like men or beastsf some
what Indignant, the nuests eNclnimed,
"Like men Of course "Eneni De
replied eve are going 90 get ioly
drunk for beasts newer drink moro
than they want
Mary had a little lamb
That oQnldn't Faad or Wrltaf
When Mary offered him his hHanr
Her band hod always bite,
Mary took hor little lamb
Round % thc butchers shops
Then Naryis father gave "a teoA
with l@8s of mutton chops
Mary had n little lamb,
It1umped down tn the wen,
Aud nrtsr Mary pulled itup
II ran aud Jun PED down aeniuf
And was drowned,
The Sc. Louis Republican s9Ya oN
ygav Of Vi Indication. that Frank hiail
once Invent without whisky Tor y
This Is play upon Worusmn @9ftn& .Ae
anoieut Eepu bIican. ne went WitAouL
whisky because whisky was Within
him. -[EXchauge.