Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1871-09-01
REVENUE.

II is a we'll known fact that the revenue has
an army of assessors, collectors, inspectors, as
sstants, clerks, special agents, ETC., in each
district, whose duty it is TO see that Uncle Sam
is not cheated out of single cent of his just
1--WE guess it's just) deserts, and that the com
bined salaries of these officers is about equal
to the amount of revenue they collect.
A friend relates the following little story,n
for the truthfalness Of which we will not
vouch:
] am what some people ignorantly call n
" drummer"--in other words, pm travelling
clerk for the "Great North American Tool
and Agricultural Implement Manufacturing
Company and as a matter Of course, In vari-
GUS peregrinations over the country, | meet
with some strange adventures.
One evening drove into the little village Of
Smithville, Tenn, and stopped before a nice
looking cottage, with the owner of which /
thought might be able 10 strike trade"
as the surroundings indicated that skilled
and enterprising band had charge of them
/ shouted "hello,n and was answered by
the proprietor In person. ] stated my BUSH
ness In as glowing terms as possible, and
wound up by asking him If he wished any
thing In my line.
"Well, no, f" he replied, you see, I'm AS
SCISSOR of Internal Revenue for this district,
and my duties are such that have no time for
anything elsc."
nPerhaps your neighhor over there" said
l, pointing across the way, would buy few
articles
Gle? He's Assistant Assessor Of Internal
Revenue for this district, and IL requires all
his time 10 attend to his many duties. guesa
he wouldn't buy anything"
" Who lives in the next house down there"
inquired hopefully.
"Mr Smith, Cole of Internal Revenue
for this district. He has no time for farming,
and, Of course would buy nothing In that linc.n
May be that the owner Of that fine mansion
on the hin, yonder,' replied ], solemnly,
would take few Of our agricultural imple-
ments, as everything round him indicates
"0h no ~ said he lnterrupting me; "he's
assistant collector of Internal Revenue for this
district, and If he had all the farming imple-
ments In the world he would not have time to
use them"
"Does anybody else live In this town ~
asked, desparingly, for no other houses were
visible.
eyes, was the reply. "Mr. Jones lives
Just beyond the hill yonder, but he is inspec-
tor of Internal Revenue for this district, and is
never at home"
''Thunder and lghtningi" said 7, very
warmly; "does the Revenue Department live
here7 Is there blacksmith in the place III
there Is, may be he would like some Of our
tools"
- Mr.. simmons was our DlhcksmltH, Dnl no
received the appointment Of assistant Inspec-
tor of Internal Revenue for this district last
week, and in consequence Of which he has
closed his shop for the present"
" Is there man IN this village who 10 not
connected with the internal Revenue Of this
districtp"
asked this question as sacastically as pos
sible, and with faint--yery faint-glimmer-
ing Of hope.
"Well, yes, there's the postmaster but he
Is expecting 70 receive a commission as inspec-
tor Of Brandies and Whistles for this district.
| think 1t useless to go 10 him"
" Where Is the hotelp | asked, disgnsted.
We have none--it has been changed to a
Bonded Warehouse for this district"
"Do you collect enough revenue In this dis
trict to pay yourselveS? asked for informa-
ton this time.
''No, sir, we do not; bat other districts
collect more than enough. Their surplus is
appropriated to fill our defciency-thu things
are eqnalized."
"Don't you see the philosophy oft? What
would the government be without revenue7'
"Good evening, sir" lie left and so did
l. Up to this time have failed 10 "see the
philosophy Of it,"