National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1871-11-24

ever, write out the telegram, and let mt
see il, ! suppose, too, you will want me
to lend YOU n shilling "
Quickly wrote:
"From Edward Brownsmith, Police sta
ton G., North Willis, to August'
Brownsmith, Sunny Villa, Sandstone.
DEARrsT-I am taken up wrongly on
suspicion. Come AT once. Bring vicar Of
parish to prove my Identity
In an hours time, grim policcn an
handed me the following telegram in reny
EBwARD-l am not so easily takor in
by your dodge Come home take me to
seaside; then all forgiven"
Now, | never before, in my recollection,
Swore at man or woman; but am afraid
that then my mouth did form what, sup
| 1ed, the sapient concOctcrS of the new
"Public School Latin Primer" would term
monosyllabic dental word, terminating
with the stern \ and they would proba-
bly, further describe it as a transitive verb.
Thank goodness, my wife cannot under
stand all that
Depict the after wretChedness OF that
night spent locked upin my cell Before
post-but subject to police inspection, and,
| believe, also police COPY wrote a most
humble, ipploring letter to my wife.
Goodness knows what amount of DIRT |
ate in that epistle. Next morning, about
twelve O'Clock, was brought up before the
magistrates Everything that you already
know was brought up against me; and
moreover, il was sworn that Jabez Cough,
dressed as | was, had left Sandstone sta
ton dressed in the very clothes had on,
and had a knife and ticket such as were
found on me. My telegram and its answer
We're brought forward as condcmning cvi-
dencc. 1t was stated the reply was sup
posed to be from an accomplice, and in
cypber; and remand Wa, asked for. |
was rcmandcd. One or two of the magis-
trates seemed slightly to hesitate but,
really, my slangy dress, my worn and
harassed appearance, and circumstances in
general, were So much against me that
was not surprised at what had happened.
Before the court was up, ! was again put
into the dock before the Bench. To my
glad surprise, | saw, about to come into
the witness box, my wife, the clergyman
of my parish, and two Somersetshire mac
i,tratcs, one OF whom, as afterwards ap-
ptaIed, was known to some members of
the North Wits bench at C.. Quickly
ii was proved to the semi-omniscent eye
OF all-searching unpaid Justice, that was
what am, and not the notorious forging
malefactor, Jahez Cough, who had So MANY
other aliases that | dare not attempt to
pick out his real name.
The meeting with my wife and friends,
the respectful but not at all servile apology
OF the policemen, my late guardians, the
dinner with some of the magistrates who
had sat in judgment on me, the journey
home next day, the nceasing banter which
| everywhere encountered, and the alrfW
curtain lectures from my wife, | pass over,
and leave to the imagination Of my readers;
though to me they We're stern realities.
All | can say is, that il there are many
wives who possess the twenty Caudle horse
i beg pardon, twenty-C -Caudle-mare power
that Ms. Browrsmith is gifted with, !
am surprised that there are not more sui |
cides per annum than the Registrar Gen |
ecal would have us believe.
OF course, had to take Mrs B. to the |
seaside. She put on the inexpressibles |
there, and has worn them ever since-to |
the great misfortune of her henpecked nus |
band. | hear her gentle voice calling me |
to roll the grass-plot It's hard work
but
Coming, my dear. C-o-m-ingm