Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-03-26
From woOdhull { clallin's weekly,

AOAG " OO0IUEA HOOhlgs
We presume thai fashionable woman
in state of nature, is no more than any
other woman-often not 1.-THE as beau
iful as many thousands of other women
although she does looh 80 like Juno and
Hebe and Venus, and the rest of the
pretty goSdesses, when she has put on
her set offs, and goes blazing with Jewels
into society. 1t is dreadful for bach
elor TO think what humbugs these women
are. Here is lady of questionable age
say twenty-seven; she is in her morning
wrapper, although it is past high noon,
and she is going to a great evening party.
She looks into the glass, and sees there
yellow, brow-wrinkled, duh eyed face;
mouth full of gums and no teeth; in
falling cheeks; thin, doleful hair; neck no
more like the ''Tower of Lebanon" than
like Hercules, but thin, scraggy and not
TO be named where beauty is. The sight
is anything but agreeable, and the cost of
remedying it is very expensive; and she
wishes she was really the pretty, gay
woman that she is taken for in the glare
of the chandeliers.
GOES TO THE TURKISH BATH.
But, as wishing avails nothing, she rings
the bell, orders her carriage, and drives TO
the Turkish baths Here she is boiled
for half an hour in steam, and when well
done she is douched with cold water until
her skin assumes something like the glow
and color of health. In an hour-after
dressing, and then drinking q cup of coffee
and smoking a.,cirgsrette, as she lies at
full length upon a tempting sofa-she
resumes her seat in the carriage, and then
driven to No. - Broadway, "where
that handsome chiropodist's store is, who
enamels US so beautifully" and in few
minutes she is IN the presence of this
nice young man, whom she halls, of
course, as an old and most intimate friend,
who knows her exterior, even the most
sacred of them, like book. She has
come this time, as she informs him, to be
done thoroughly. 1t is such a nuisance,
she says, to be compelled to go through
all that weary process of enameling once
a week; and SO she has made up her mind
TO have her face and bust done for six
months. Then there is good deal of
chsffering about the price. Our hand
some chiropOaist insists upon his full fee
of three hundred dollars. If the lady
has been pretty, why he would have
thrown off something for the pleasure it
would give him to make her still prettier;
but as this particular lady is anything but
good looking, he will not sbate dime of
his charge.
THR MAN WHO ENAMRLs THE LADY.
So my lady agrees, and retires into an
elegant parlor, where there are long,
large mirrors set into the walls, with an
easy chair opposite the largest of them,
and in position where the light is fullest.
AS there is no need of any display of
modesty in this purely business affair,
she unrObes herself TO the waist, regard
less of the gentleman artists presence,
and gets him to help her, first of all, to
weed out of her productive skin the stub
bic of hair which have shot up since the
last wedding time, which done, the super
Ruous hairs are picked by the roots; and
-4hen she clips the soft hair around the
temples and forehead, to give to the latter
an arched appearance, and not being
quite satisfied with her hsndiwork, che
gets her gentleman, whose hands drop
with perfumes, TO shave over the parts
where she has been with her scissors.
MICK, ARMS, SHOULDERS AND BUST.
All being now ready, the serious bust
ness begins. The artist applies a very
powerful msgnifying glass 10 all the
beauties of her face, neck, arms, Shout
ders, and-alackl alsck! her bust, also,
down 10 the wsis If he find any hair
there or gossamer fuzz, he exercises it
with washes, soaps, lniments or tweez-
ers. Strange to say, the artists hand
rarely trembles over his wOrk-he is not
afflicted by any shortness of breath, pal
pitation of the heart, or shivering of the
nerves, and 1t seems to US that he must
be a particularly ensmeled man himself,
with a Cuticle as thick as rhinoceros'
hide, or that he is a wax man, and has
no flesh and blood in his composition. All
being now ready, he begins to overlap
the skin that nature gave her with skin
of his own composing. He applies the
ens' 1el to her yellow face, and then 70
+ bust. The enamel consists of white
cad or arsenic, made into a semi-liquid
paste. Il requires good deal of skill to
lRy il on so that it shall be smooth and
MOT wrinkled; and two or three hours,
and sometimes much longer time, are
consumed in making q good job of it.
THREE HUNDRED DOLLAR JOB.
In this instance the lady was very ex-
acting, for she had to pay three hundred
dollar for the artists work, and it was
long time before she was completely sat
isfied. But presently she rose from her
making place in ali the glory of her re-
generated body, and looking into the glass
she beheld vision of such surprising
lovelincss-compared with the old body
underneath the arsenic cuticle-thst she
fell upon the artists neck and kissed him
in the exube-ance # her gratitude.
rLUMPzR3 FOR THE CHEEKS.
There yet remained, however, the fin