The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-05-02
TimeIng a Fast Horse.

A friend of ours, who owns a fine
farm near Camp Dennison-John we
will call him-is fond of horses, and
has a private race track where he puts
his fast nags through course of
equine sports. Those residing in the
vicinity who haYe, or think they have
fast nags, frequently repair to this race
track for the purpose of testing the
speed of their horses. Now John is a
bit of wag, and numerous are the
jokes he plays off on his friends in
"timeiDg" their horses with his patent
stop watch. Every man likes to think
he has fast horse, and when told
that his horse has made a mile in 2:30
when he had no idea he could get be-
low the fifties, he naturally feels elated,
don't you see-especially when so
grave and earnest man as our friend
John holds the watch that is known
the country round for its reliability.
If anybody else were to time the
speed of the nags they might question
its authenticity, but John--no one
thought of questioning the patent
watch. One day last fall neighbor-
ing farmer, who couldn't sleep very
we'll at nights, because he had got it
into his head that a colt he owned was
fast, brought the said colt to Johns
race track to try him. John very
accommodatingly held his watch while
the owner of the colt drove around
the track.
1.-TWO thirty-eight !" yelled John as
the colt passed the mile post.
"What's that ?" shouted the man in
astonishment.
1.-TWO minutes and thirty-eight Sec
onds exactly" replied John, without
moving muscle.
This was so much better than he ex
pected that he couldn't believe it posi-
BILE, and said so.
Hold the watch yourself, then, said
John somewhat gruffly, IF you cant
believe me-"
"Oh," replied the man Fastening to
conciiate, don't question your mean
ing in the matter, but you might have
made mistake in the watch"
Don't you know this is a patent stop
watch ?" inquired John. at can't
make any mistake; there, you see it
has stopped on two minutes and thirty
eight seconds. I'll drive around, and
you time the colt"
Now the interior of the track was
planted with corn and the forest of
corn stalks reared the lofty heads there
completely obstructing more than
very limited view of the track. The
word "go" was given, and John "got."
AS soon as he was out of sight Of the
others he darted through a wood that
traversed the corn field, cutting off
nearly half the distance, so that when
he reached the mile post the owner of
the colt fairly danced with joy as he
roared:
Two thirty-ons and half, by ho-
key !"
The man was nearly wild with ex-
element, refused $500 John offered
for the colt on the spo' and hurried
home with his new tire re. He was
on the lookout for SOM fair where he
was confident Of being able to scoop
EN- all" as he said. The Blanchester
fair came off in a little while and there
was our hero with his wonderful colt
He put him in against the fastest trot-
ter they had, bet his money freely and,
to his own horror and the uproarious
mirth of the crowd, his fast horse was
nearly five minutes in getting round.
In utter disgust he sold the colt for
moderate sum, and is entirely cured of
the fast horse complaint. He don't
know to this day that John stopped
his "stop watch" on him, and he is ig-
norant of the short cut through the
corn field, be don't want any more fast
horses. John has cured several en-
bryo horsemen in the same way, and
looks upon himself as benefactor of
his race, if he isn't of the horse race.
His treatment is expensive, but eff
fcctual.