The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-06-11
WIT AND wIsDoK.

The oply man not spoiled by being "Lon- |
lied "-The prophet Daniel. III
"Pray, madam, Why did you name your otd
hen Macduffp because, Sir, wan' noi W
lay on"
coquetteis rose from which every lover
plucks leaf-the thorns are left for her future
husband.
Happiness is perfume that one cannot shed
over another without few drops Ianing on
ones self. n
Wisconsin postmaster has written to
wasbinx ton for "som eternal revenn stamps"
saving he has "sevrel coils for them"
Persian philosopher says, Why has ma.
ture given rs two ears ana o mt one n1ah of
what we hear"
A gentleman who has lived for many years
in sight of the ocean, says 1t Is an unden' aole
fact that the vicinity OF the always makes
a billy location chilly.
A student at Yale startled the class at recita.
ton the other day "What stars never set !"
asked the Professor, aud g Roostars," was his
prompt reply, sub roee.
The latest dose of sickly sentimental song is
entitled, "Give my button string to JOSIE"
The author is said to be- at work on LEND my
chewing gum to Gertle."
Lady Yarmouth asked Garrick one day why
Love was always represented as child He
replied, Because Love never reaches the age
of wisdom and experience"
The following bull occurs in DR.. Johnson's
Life of Pope He observes that every mOnu-
mental inscription should be IN Latin, f0r that
being 'aead Language will always lice"
Chow much did he leave Z" inquired gem
tleman of 3 wag on learning the death OF
wealthy citizen. Everything" responded
the wag; " he din't take q dollar with him."
"Bil," said Bob, "why is that tree Ca. called the
weeping willowr "Cause one OF the sneak
ing, plaguey things grew near the school,
hense, aud supplied the master with switches"
"say, Pomp, where you got dat new hat :"
"Why, at dc shop, OBJ course" What is de
price OBJ such an article Rs dat" Il dun
know, SAM dun know-d shopman warn't
dar."
A brewer, who was q director in penny
savings-bank, remarked, as the deposits were
added mp at the end of the year, Well, this
represents thirty Thousand pints OF beer not
drunk"
Somebody has written book entitled,
"What shall my son be- I" Upon which some
one rudely comments, eff the boy is as bad
as the book, the chances are that he'll be
hanged"
whisky is your greatest enemy" "Bnt,"
said Mr.. Jones' "don't the Bible say, Mr..
Preacher, that we are to love our enemies r
"Oh, yes Mr.. Jones; but it don't say we are
to swallow them."
Mr. Chawls ThawmpsOn recently ran his
head against u young lady during cotillion.
.Ah! excuse me, deab," he cried, did 1t hurt
you, eh 2" mo, sir" she replied, it's too soft
to hurt anything"
Servant looks into the breakfast room
chen ants something to eat" Mistress-"Give
her the water in which the eggs were boiled
it's quite nutritious"
Brethren said q speaker at o late mission
airy meeting, 81 want you to turn your back
upon this Board of Missior-your greenbacks
Imean-and if you presume to talk to them,
speak in silver tones"
"Epbraim.n said Simon, "what does a fellow
look like when gallanting his sweetheart
through shower f5 "Why," replied Ephraim
looking at his boot, che has very much the ap-
pearance of q rainbow"
Aman stopping his paper, wrote to the editor
az think folks ottent to spend their munney
for pay per mi daddy didn't, and everybody sec
he was the intelligentest man in the country
and had the smartest family of boiz that evel
dug tatturs."
to dress and show off when he got to be man
His ma asked, johnny, what do you expec
to do for a living when you get to be a man r
"Well, l reckon I'll get married, and Doarf
with my WIFE pa"
clergyman in the West seeks damages of I
Journal which published q report of his lectur
on "Mind and Matter" under the head
"Wind and Water" 1t is alleged by his enc
mics that he is likely to recover, if the ole
English law be sound, that the greater tn
truth the greater the libel.
farmers vito, in speaking of the smart
ness of her SOD; lad six years OLD, SAID, ID
and weed onions as good as his father" Yes
mother" added the young hopeful; =" and yes
terday licked Ned RawsOn, Cproweu the ca
in the well, and stole old Hickley's gnlet."
"Martha, my DEAR" said loving hnsban
to his spouse, who was several years his jnno,
"wbat do you say to moviny to the Far Vest
ooh, am delighted with the idea! Yon re
collect that when Mr.. Morgan moved ont ther
he was as poor as we are, and in three year
te died, leaving his widow worth hundre
thousand dollars"
There is an undertaken in New York who's
sign bears the inscription, Every requisii
for funeral" John Mcbride Davidson, pas
ing along with Billy Birch, went in and sal
any" .Tbeu take down your sign," said Ma
al don't know anything more requisite for
funeral than corpse. Good morning"
Uise in HIS Gencration.-Yeur advice as
man of the world, Gus. Which of the tU
Miss Wilson's shall take in to support The
they are by the mantel-piece." Well, If yc
AXE the handsome one, you'll have to Hiatt
her; if you take the other, she'll fatter y.o,
To man who doesn't want to marry, Ill
yourself, 1 should recommend the first as l
far the less dangerous of the two"
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