New Orleans Republican., 1871-07-16

'Oh no, have never been married, mo-
never intend to be-"
"Have you ever had smallpox
mo, SIR"
"Nor any affection of the heart %
well, no. Have not already told yor
was bachelor!"
Have you ever had any serious acci
dent!"
None that l can think of-well yes, once
had a slight one, but not such as would
render me ineligible by the rules of your as
sociation," continued the applicant, now be
coming very much annoyed, and using his
hat to fan his fevered cheeks. He wished
himself safely at his mountain home, and
| that he never had heard of the Life In
| surance."
| The young merry fellows then put their
heads together, and one of them rose
silently, and approaching Mr.. P. with a
trumpet, placed the bottom of it directly
against the side of his ear and yelled
loudly, causing the quiet, unsuspecting man
to start from his chair to the center of the
room. "Very nervous temperament" said
the examiner, gazing at him, while the
| others pretended to note down the fact.
"Are you active-can you Jump and
run!"
"Yes, suppose so have not tried it
lately. l could, at one time, jump higher
than that desk; would you like me to try
it?"
Certainly. and if you can accomplish
that, your life insurance is safe"
The poor victims imagination was
stretched to the utmost tension, but he was
determined to make an effort to save what
had already cost him so much expense and
trouble; so he nerved himself up, and ad-
vanced to the Observation-Disclosures back
and then, with a final desperation, sprang
to the edge of the railing.
When Mr.. Pipkin found himself painting,
putting, and wheeling fat upon his back, on
the other side of the desk, the Rubicon was
passed. but poor Sammy was pretty well
done for.
The wags lifted the rotund applicant up,
and then kindly informed him that his ex-
animation was oyer, and that he would be
apprised of their decision upon his case the
next day, by letter, through the postofice
Suffering as he did from heat, fright and
exertion, he gladly hurried away
Next morning he proceeded to the post
office, where the following satisfactory let
ter was handed him:
The government of the Mutual Associ-
alton, in the case of Samuel Pipkin, ESQUIRE,
decide that there is every reason to fear
apOplexy; that, together with wheeze.
and the fact that man of his age, forty
six, can not jump over desk not five feet
high, is decidedly uninsurable.
He was shocked, after all his trouble and
the expense of his Baltimore journey, hotel
bill, and other etceteras. His selfpride
was so wounded How could he meet his
sisters! 1t really made the poor man sick.
All the way during his travel home he was
revolving in his mind what plea he should
give why he could not effect his insurance.
He did not like to tell them all he endured:
it might seem unmanly.
Pretty soon he arrived at his home. His
anxious sisters were at the door, ready to
welcome and question him all about his
trip. la reply he merely told them "that
he had been very sick, and looked badly,
and he supposed that might be the cause
of his being unsuccessful however, at some
future day he promised them he would 90 |
again and try at another office" So with |
a present or two from the city, they were
pacified, and he congratulated himself on |
getting out with them SO well, and their |!
heroic bearing.
Mr.. Pipkin, after settling down quietly
1t home, abandoned the idea entirely of |
,ver trying again; but he Glanced to out
i've both of his sisters. Posterity suffered |
lothing by his demise, but to the day of |
lis death he never forgot his visit to Balti-
more. Nor did the poor old, verdant man,
ver have suspicion that he went into a
)roker's instead of an insurance office.