The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1871-07-25
Gossip.


Mr.. and Mrs. Brewer, Of Ky, have
~ children. This is the most extensive
Brewery in the West.
No man should complain of hard
times, or of being poor, who can afford to
use rum and tobacco.
"A London paper says of the 10000
people at the Derby Park 10000 were
beastly drunk when they left the course.
Why is drunkard hesitatipe to
sign the pledge like sceptical HindooP
Because doubts whether to give up his
Jug.or-not.
The worlds greatest need at the
present time is men and women who will
quietly do their whole duty and not tell
anybody Of it.
--"Forgive US our debts as We forgive
our debtors" is the prayer of many who
make every one who owes them pay to
the uttermost farthing.
Make up your mind to do q thug
and then do it. fla spider break his
web twenty times twenty times will he
mend it.
"A Patterson man has discovered |.
new process of "entering land" He
tried to cross the track previous to 10.
comotive, and was dug out of the ground
in an adjoining field.
There is one kind OF ship | always
steer clear Of" said an old bachelor sea
captain, land that's courtship, cause on
that ship there's always two mates and
no captain"
An old gentleman of Kalamazoo
thought he could save time by crawling
under train that was standing on the
track. He made time and eternity, too
as the train started too suddenly.
The grasshoppers are getting pretty
numerous in different parts of the conn.
try. One of them thought to stop in
Rhode Island day or two ago. but By
slight miscalculation as to distance he
skipped over it.
Mr.. Agassiz says that in certain Am.
azonian tribes, on the day ofhis marriage
while the wedding festivities are poinp on
the bridegrooms hands are tied IN in
paper bag filled with fire ants If he
bears the torture smilingly and unmoved
he is considered fit for the trials of matr;-
mony.
In Lowell, Mass, there is an apple.
tree which never blossoms, and vet i.
loaded every year with fruit
Crafts from it blossom.
The seeds are frequently PARTIAL, or
wholly exposed to view at the ontsid de ot
the elbow" end of the fruit, while The
center oil the fruit is compact as thai Of
turnip
A young lady member Of the choir
in church in Lyons, leaned too far over
the gallery during the sermon. on Sun
day, to look at a now bonnet or some.
thing of the kind, and, losing her balance.
fell headlong plump upon the head of
deacon, bounding thence into the aisle,
very much demoralized, but not serious,
ly hurt. The deacon complains of the
headache. The singer Joined in the last
hymn.
"A gentleman sent his black servant
to purchase fresh fish. He went to .
stall, and taking up fish began to smell
it. The fisherman observing him, and
fearing the bystanders might catch the
scent, exclaimed, "Hullo! you black
rascal, what do you smell my fish for ?"
"Mn mn small y'e- 6si, narsa,- "wnur
are you doing, then sir ?" "Why, me
talk to him, massa" "And what did
you say to the fish, eh ?" "Why me ask
him what news at sea dat's all, massa."
"And what did he say to you ?" ole
says he don't know ; he no been dar desc
tree WeehS."
Saratoga and Ncwport-you've en- then,
sait Charley, one morning, to Joe;
'pray tell me the difference between them-
For bother my wig if know"
Quoth Joe, "ts the easiest matter
At once to distinguish the two,
At the one, you 60 into the water;
AT the other it goes into you"
An ILLINOIS SENSATION. The citizens of
Frankfort, ILL.,, are at present considera
ply exercised over what they conceive to
be genuine case Of witchcaaft. The vic.
Tins are two young ladies, daughters of
Mr., James Williams. They are said to
be modest and retiring in their manners
during the day, but when night approach.
es, some unseen power influences them to
climb to the roof, where, in the words of
the local chronicler, they "gyrate on the
comb with perfect ease and impunity, ut
terring In the same time the most hide.
ous and frenzied screams" We are told,
further, that while performing in this
manner, they frequently become rigid
with spasms, and, on recovering, devour
flies until they are simultaneously seized
with nausea. When the spells come on
they both run toward the residence of au
old lady, by whom they claim to have
been bewitched, and who, if they are to
be believed, takes an active part in their
house-top amusements. Hundreds of per.
sons have witnessed these strange freaks,
among the rest two physicians, but the
mystery seems to have, so far, proved i'm,
penetrable.
Some wag gets this off; "Purp.etual
motion-a dogs tail"
A sign announcing The Vacuum Cure
is hung out from the window Of an eating
house in London.
Sake says that Vermont is famous for
four staples, "men, women, maple sugar
and horses. The first are strong, the last
are fleet, the second and third are exceed
ingly sweet, and all are uncommonly hard
to beat
A sea captain, being at ball, who had
been accepted by beautiful partner,who
in the most delicate manner possible.
limited to him the propriety of putting on
pair of gloves. "Oh," was the elegant
reply, "never mind me, ma'am; l shall