Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-11-10
ALL SORTS.
A vein pursuit-Mining.


When is a penny like a hermit.
When it's a loan (alone.)
A new version of an old verse
Loathe the poor Indianl
When is a cat like teapot? When
you're teas in it (tea's in it.)
When is black dog not q black dog
When it's grey hound.
An Irishman calls his sweetheart
honey" because she is bee-loved.
What can man have in his pocket
when it is empty? A big hole.
What kind of drum is that which is
always best when it can not be beaten
A conundrum.
A good drain on farm-Heavy mort
gage at ten per cent. will drain it about
as rapidly as anything.
A boot and shoe store in the Sixth
Avenue, New York, advertises "Wo-
mems Rights--and Let's"
Why is the inside of everything un
Ineligible? Because we can't make it
out.
What does a grocer do with all his
things before he sells them? Gives them
a weigh. %
A bad mrriage is like an electric ma
chine, it makes you dance, but you can't
let it go.
1t is queer woman who asks no
questions, but the woman who does is
the querest.
The man who popped the question by
starlight got his sweetheart's consent
in twinkling.
A drummer is the fastest man in the
world, because time beats all men, but
drummer beats time.
Why are the measels like fresh mack
| nrn6o Thny T1tr, in eahnplo opI hoxo 10,
be caught before they can be had.
Mutual admiration-As the season of
parties approaches boys begin to feel
gallant and ''gals" buoyant.
A doctor was asked to dance the
"Lancers." He declined, but expressed
his willingness to lance the dancers.
A correspondent criticising a prima
donna rather deficient in physique, says,
"a chest is as essential to q singer as
, bureau to a freedman"
! 81 always sing to please myself" said
agentleman who was humming tune in
company. "Then you are not at all diff
ficult to please" said lady who sat
next to him.
A Western stock-breeder is proud of
the production of horned colt, which
he accounts for by the approach of the
equine-oX.
western paper accuses a contempo-
rary of dirty meanness, and remarks,
"We want him to understand that two
can play at that game"
Tom: 81 say, Jack, what a beautiful
complexion Miss Smith has! Do you
know her?" Jack: "No, but know a
girl who buys her complexion at the
same store"
Fashionable Young Lady" Oh,
papa, you must let me go to the concert.
| am so fond of music! Juvenile
Brother, triumphantly-" Then, why
don't you let me play my drum?"
a certain attorney, who was remarka-
BILE for coming into court with dirty
hands, observed "that he had been
turning over coke" "Coke" exclaimed
a waggish brother; | should think it
was coal by the looks of your hands,"
" Give me pound of oysters" said
man to an oyster vendor who was going
by. sell by measure, not by weight, .,
said the oysterman. "Then give me a
yard of them" said the man. The oys-
terman shook his head and obviously
passed on.
A pretty girl says: IF it was wrong
for man to live single when there was
not woman on earth, how guilty are
old bachelors with the world full of
pretty girls" Sure enough.
In late vacation letter Henry Ward
| Beecher enumerates among the delights
of summer rest the privilege of wearing
old clothes. This is privilege that
good many clergymen have the whole
year round.
a young lady with pretty foot, but
a rather large ankle, went into a San
Francisco shoe store to be measured.
The admiring clerk, who is of Gallo
description, complimented her in the
following queer way: Madam, you
have one beautiful foot, but your legs
commence too Immediately"
Elder Evans, the Shaker, now in Lon
don, hath a ready wit at times. On
being asked, the other day, which We're
the qualities most appreciated in the fe-
males at Mount Lebanon, he replied:
"The woman who maketh a good pud-
ding is always more valued by us than
she who maketh tart reply"
a Monroe man named Elsy, having
been rendered deaf by the whistle of a
locomotive, the engineer of the train
was surprised on his return to the sta
ton to observe eleven baldheaded men
in a line by the track, with fervid in
junction from the first one to "do your
darndest." They were all married.
A learned but sentimental Western
professor recently presented young
couple contemplating marriage with a
pair of silver sugar-tongs,s bearing the
hopeful motto:
"Jungimur ut dulcia reperiamuT,"
which for clearness' sake might be
,, traslated,
I'VE meet to find sweetness"
| Boston has a new monthly devoted
; entirely to poetry, and christened "The
= Beautiful World" A single stanza from
l it will show the kind of poetry of which
2 it is made up:
love the cosy little bower,
. With room just large enough for one.
But yet accommodates another
Person just as well as one.
2 \ music teacher once wrote that the
1 ''art of playing the violin requires the
L incest perception and the most sense o.
!, any art in the known world" Where
: upon Western editor comments thus
j ''Ihe art of publishing n newspaper anC
: making it pay, and at the same time
l please everybody, beats fiddlin' highel
e than a kite"
: "What is the size of this place?'
0 gravely asked a New Yorker of the con
ductor just after the brakesman sans
1 out "O-pe-li-ka," at Southern station
!, where not house was visible among
: the pines except a rambling shed called
e an "eating saloon" cts about as bi!
: as New York." was the ready answer
0 "but it isn't built up yet"
l a speaker at the recent meeting
= the Pittsburg Woman Suffrage Associa
Y ton remarked that "man is only an i'm
I; perfectly developed woman" At thi
d an old lady, who sat in corner, spran
IS to her feet and in an excited manne
n said, she chopped to gracious he woul
e not be developed any more then, fo
there We're too many women in tn
world now"
Old Mr. A., at about eighty years
5 age, was so bold as to marry youn
Q wife, and in due course of time was pr,
.e snntcd with n som On the dnN [