Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1871-02-04
" CALL A MAN."

Any one who Is disposed to try q
laugh, will do well to read on.
John Jackson was a very industri-
Gus, hard working man, of twenty
three years being the eldest child and
the only son, he had always remain
ed at home assisting his father upon
the farm. John was much respected
by every one in the ncighborhood,
and many a bright-eyed girl had Sc
cretly thought she would like to
change her name to Mrs. John jack
son. But John was no "ludies'
man." The fact was, John was very
bashful. Would rather hoe potatoes
all day than undergo the ceremony
of introduction to q young lady. Not
that John disliked the dear creatures
far from 1t. We believe that he, in
common with all bashful, well-mean-
ing men entertained the very highest
respect and admiration for them.
And this, no doubt, was the princi-
/ pal car,se of his bas ifulness. He felt
that they were superior beings, and
that he was unworthy to associate
with them upon terms of equality.
But we can not stop to moralize.
Nancy Clark was the daughter OF
Joined the Jackson farm. Nancy
was pretty, saucy little wench, and
she liked John Jackson. When they
were children they attended the same
school, and as he was u few years her
senior was usually her champiop In
the childish disputes that arose, and
her companion in going and and re-
turning. At last John became 50
much ola young man as to be kept
from school, as she had been in past
years. John discovered too, that he
had been growing In stature, and II
seemed as If he had been growing out
Of shape. His feet and legs appeared
very awkward; he didn't know what
to do with his hands his face pained
him and, taken all, he was inclined
to think he was not more than hal
put together.
Now the truth was John Jackson
was really tinelOoking young man
and nothing but his admiration OF
Nancy could have suggested any fool.
ish thoughts about himself.
As the nOvelists says, ii was love.
ly day in August. The heavens were
clear, 81 rene and beautiful the trees
were laden with golden, fruit and the
beautiful birds twittered their sweet
songs of love in the branches. Earth
(there we've slid down to earth once
more-such lofty flights, they max,
our heads dizzy. We We're about tt
say that "earth had yielded hel
bOuntiful harvest ola years grass, anC
, clover, and honeyesuckles which the
noble yOemanry of Chesterville haC
garnered within their storehouse'-
but upon second thought, concluded
. to word it thus =" The farmers o
; Chesterville were done haying."
John Jackson's sister had quilt
ing that afternoon. His father hat
gone to Keith's Mill" to get some
, wheat ground, and John was left t.
} repair some tool. to he ready on tn,
, morrow to commence moving til,
D meadow grass. Suddenly II Occuret
to John that IL he remained about til,
5 house in the afternoon, he would b,
called In at tea time and required Il
( do the honors of the table. 10 avoit
2 this he quietly shOuldered his scyth,
and stole away to the meadow, hal
5 mile distant, fully resolved that h,
g would not leave there until 1t was :,
! dark that he could not see to NOV
and thus avoid seeing the girls.
The meadow was surrounded on al
sides by thick forest, which effectu
, ally shut out what little breeze ther,
2 might be stirring. The sun poured
2 its rays as though the little meadow
5 was the focus point where the heal
l was concentrated. John moved an,
D sweat-sweat and moved, until h,
: was obliged to sit down and cool of
: Then it occurred to John that If IN
] took off his pants he might be com
l Portable. There could be no impro
. priety in ii, for he was entirely con
cealed from observation and ther
: was not the slightest reason to sup
8 pose that he could beseen by any per
Y son.
l So John stripped of, and with n
!. cover save his slincn-commonlyc call
> ell shirt-he resumed his work. H
S was just cougratulating himself upoi
the good time he had haying, an,
v the lucky escape he had made from
e meeting the girls, when he chance,
y to disturb huge black snake, a gcnu
r ince twister, with white ring aroun,
e his neck.
t John was no coward, but he wa
e mortally afraid of snake. self
u preservation was the first "passagei
: that flashed upon Johns mind, an
Q "legs take care OF the body" was tn
: next. Dropping his scythe, and spin
n ming round like top, he was read,
L to strike 2:iO gait, when at that mo
ment the snake was near enough /
+ hook his crooked teeth into John
:, shirt, just above the hem. With
: tremendous spring, he started at tn
t speed of locomotive. His first jun
e took the snake clear from the ground
u and IA John stole II hasty glance owe
n his shoulders, he was Mortified +
J. find the reptile securely fastened t
i the extremity of his garment; Will
: the speed with which he rushed fol
It ward kept the serpent extended at a
angle OF ninety degrees with hi
body.
Here was quandary. IF he stor
i ped the snake would coil about hi
body and squeeze him TO death;
u he continued the race he'd soon IA
4: from sheer exhaustion. On he flew
J. scare daring to think how his dread
ful race would end.
= Instinctively he had taken the d
rection of home, when feeling of $.
r, curity came over him. Suddenl
.. flashed across his mind the true stat
:, of atfairs-his father gone--the quill
ing and worst of all, the girls !
r This new horror sent the blood bac
curdling about his neck aud he cam
1, to II dead halt. The next moment h
felt the body of the cold, clamm
= monster in contact with his bare leg,
his tail creeping around them in
h. sort Of an oozing way, ms though h
!. snakeship only meditatcd littl
- fun, 10y way of tickling John upo
the knees.
This was to much for human endl
:. rance.
y With yell, such rs n man nevt
Is utters save when in mortal terror, po,