The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-08
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
We start our cream" this week with this any.
thing but consoling item from republican
paper:
Flies will soon be as thick as Grants internal
tax gatherers."
We add, and like tax collectors, they will be
busy, filing themselves out OF the people
The editor Of the Lima o. Democrat has been
on a visit TO Ada and was ''highly entertained" "
And he a married man, too.-CtiHt0n Register.
Well. I-de-care, "How shiftess!"
The income tax is now called "Boutwell's
Grip."-Es
The democracy will soon sompel him to let go
on that grip"
Kankakee will soon have three banks in opera.
ton, one bank of issue.-haukakee 7smes.
Is the latter a SdHd bank
4 paper called the Ntga0'ia Fvo,cer blooms in
Arkansas, but the editor complains that he does
not make a scent.
The Herald says Boston is going to torture
Miss Nilsson with midnight procession.
IT'S wrong TO turture fair,
Let them torch her. ifthey dare
The Gardner JoHr2.ol tells how a Malay doctor
showed genuine African diamond on landlord
of that place, for weeks board, making him be-
lieve it was real gem worth three hundred
dollars. A competent jeweler has seen it and
says it is worth $30O-that is, 500 tons of EN-
might be.
The earth Is said to be growing smaller. In
two thousand millions OF years it will be as small
IS Rhode Is1and.-Ec.
By that time men will have dwinded into
microscopic insects, and million of elephants
will dance jig in the eye of needle.
We offer the girls practical problem:
1t is possible for fifteen young ladies attend.
ing school to walk out together three abreast
every day for seven days, and no two wall, twice
together. This problem cannot be solved by
mathematics or philosophy. 1t can only be dis.
covered by actual experiment. Try it, and then
don't tell the ''other girls" how it is done.-Er.
Wed like to walk with EN-, SO that we might
know how its done.
The Newton RopuJlican says it does not be.
lieve in Dragging about fast compositors, but
eve have boy in this Office not more than
twenty-five years of age, who can take q stool
and set, and set, and SET as long as any other
man in Iowa. In addition to his stool setting
he can rush up less type than any other hand
in the business
Once again that "little lamb" comes to the
front, led by rural biographer, who tell US that
"Mery's sheep once lamb
she found it in the gutter;
1t didn't give milk worth dine,
But it frequently did but 'er."
Here is another:
Mary had little lamb.
lis eyes were azure blue.
And If You touch that little lamb
Shell put head on you
Miss Laura Beam overhears such remarks as
these at Chicago gatherings look how ele.
gantly Mrs I. is dressed 1t is the frat time
She has been out since her divorce There is
Mrs. L., too, aud her in the papers so lately.
Would you have believed it!"-Er.
No lady can be considered one of the elite who
has not obtained her '.fna! ibapcys," in divorce
case.
An honest man has been found. His name is
George Harding, ard be lives at Seelyyile He
adveruees IN this mornings Express that he pick.
ed up an umbrella IL an eating house of this city
last Monday by mistake, and that his conscience
worries hun and he would like to return it to its
owner. w are Informed that up to the hour
We 90 to pres, seven hundred and thirteen let.
tiers have been received at the city psstoffice ad.
dressed to George Harding, Seelyville. We
euESest tnaI az equestrian statute with an
umbrella i'll its hand, be erected upon the Court
House square to the memory of G. H., the hon
est man. who has his parallel nowhere save in
U. Washington, the man who never "slopped
over.'-Ieyre Wtute Mail.
Go on with your statute. Wen steal the UNI.
brelli tor 1t or from it when the thing 10 up. or
anything we can do to contribute to this cause
OF honesty.
local of Richmond paper don't accuse q
brother editor of being drunk, but he saw him
fall over the shadow of a lamp post in trying to
catch lightning bug to light his cigar with.
a box Of prize candy was analysed ia Lafav.
etc. IND, some time ago, and found to contain
asufhcieDt amount OF poison to kill a child three
months old.-Ex.
And the prize quarter dollar, On being auslvz.
Reporters and local editors are good On puff,.
and here is fine specimen:
AN apprecisive North Carolina reporter tbps
compliments the managers Of a recent hanging
III that region: Much credit is duo 70 our
Sheriff and to Mr.. Mardon, the executiouer for
ue neat md deXterOus manner in which THAR