Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1871-10-14
VERA MON FARM E r..

ryng her fathers Dutch coachman. MY
ly, and is so pious, that | know we will
always be happy she said.
\ devoted father in Montreal has been
sentenced to pay n small fine or go to Jail for
refusing to tell the census enumeration the
ages of his unmarried daughters The girls
advised the old gentleman to go to Jail and
be II martyr to principle.
A Wisconsin veteran of the rebellion, has
written to the United States pension agent to
drop his name from the lists, as he has re-
covered from his injuries and does not wish
to burden the government longer. Patriot
ism is that mans motto in peace and war.
An Indiana editor recently offered his pa
per for one year us II prize for the largest
watermelon. Since then he has been living
on large, splendid fellows. and made nice
little sum from the surplus, but still compe-
tition is rife and he has to reserve his deci-
sion.
A shrewd connubial strategist of Elmra,
Pa, feels better now. His wife found out
that he did not love her and sweetened her
tea with audanum. The sly widower care
fully collected an insurance policy on her
life and then recovered damages from the
druggist who sold her the poison.
Fred Layton is the Cincinnati Bret IIarte.
The chorus of n poem constructed by him for
the Enquirer is pleasant
'sing pizzer-ing-tum high,
Sing tol-de-lorum low
Oh when, from this mean, little one-horse town,
Shall pack up my traps and go'"
When Brigham Young received the ten
boxes containing the imported silk dresses
and cashmere shawls for his thirty wives, he
said to friend: "Ah, if you knew the cost
of those goods you would not believe for II
moment that practiced polygamy as an
earthly pleasure. No, sir! 1t is with me II
stern duty"
A country squire in Massachusetts was call
ed on by colorcd family to make II few re-
marks mt the funeral of their son, in the alb
sence of the only clergyman in the place.
The weeping friends were seated about the
7 room, when he arose and said; ats pretty
bad but if | was you, wouldn't take on so.
It's all for the best S'posc he had grown to
be fat healthy boy-why he'd never been
nothn' but Niger anyhow
Mrs. John X. Terrell, of Palmer, Mass,
who died last week ed 49, was physical
anomaly, having I'LL her life been ignorant of
the sensation of pain. Till within couple
of months she was very healthy, never had
the toothache or headache, suffered no pain
If burned or bruised, and even fclOn, to
most persons IA severe af1liction, caused her
no unpleasant sensation. Her sickness was
n gradual fading out of life, attended with no
pain, and death came ut last without strug-
gle
( Some wives wait till their husbands have
. drank themselves to death and then sue the
| liquor dealer for damage, but in Indiana they
believe in personal interference. The other
/ day several of them made IA sally. Near the
saloon door was II little boy whom one OF
them recognized us Der son, and questioned
"Oh, Charlie do you know where your papa
is?" "Why, of course, ma" was the answer
"hes in there playing marbles, and has got
such big ones" A hurried dive into the bill
4 lard room followed the sound of fema lie