Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-01-12
CURRENT PARAGRAPHS.

SOWHEWU pAV3A&6WAV0 no.
Miscellaneous.
-" Jest the thing"-A good joke.
Labor in yein-the circulation Of the
blood.
-Endow your children in the Mutual
Life Insurance Company, Of Chicago.
MARYLAND is to have an inebriate asy-
lum for women.
A New York bride had to be sued for
her wedding gown.
The Boston Journal advocates making
voting compulsory.
The policies of the Washington are
liberal as to travel.
One farmer says his stock is SO reduced
that he has only stack Of chimneys left.
Salt Lake City has gained more than
5000 inhabitants since the year 1860.
Bangor, Me-, had eleven snow storms
this season before Christmas.
The total number of deaths in Chi
cago during the year just closed was I,244
$50 less than the year before.
To Lady Railroad Travelers.-For in
formation respecting the last train apply to
the leading dress-makers.
An Eastern lyceum is trying its teeth
on the problem (which is the Oldest
battle-cry, Erin, go bragh or lndi go
blue"
"A cheerful organist started up the fes-
tive air. Come We disconsolate," at we'd
ding in an indianapolis church, the other
day.
-" Father, won't you buy me a fish
pole?" said pious boy. You know
the Bible says, Spare the rod and spoil
the child
"A Chicago paper recommends
"Another fragrant fiction impaled upon
the fork of fact" as an improvement upon
the familiar phrase, Another lie nailed
"A woman who never owned Bible
supposed she was quoting it when she
greeted her son, who came home to keep
Thanksgiving, in the following words:
Here comes the fatted calf"
Blanche Williams, Of Philadelphia,
who met with an accident at Paramount
Water Works, by which one leg was
broken and rendered three inches shorter
than the other, has recovered $4,000 dam
ages
you flatter me-" said thin exquisite
tHC OlIlcI udJ w lnuJ, VIM ,,"'
praising the beauty of his mOustache. "For
gracious sake, ma'am," interposed sharp
friend, don't make that monkey any flat
ter than he is now
The Attorney General of Michigan
has decided that the county in which the
Vanderpool murder case originated is re-
sponsible for all the expense of prosecut-
ing it to the end, no matter where 1t
might be ordered for trial.
The doctrine which places the limit OF
animal life in the ocean at the depth OF 300
fathoms, has been very thoroughly dis
proved by recent Investigations. Living
inhabitants of the sea were recently found
at depth Of three miles.
The Medical Record records the some
what remarkable fact that, Of the 1882
soldiers who were wounded during the
late civil war, only four cases of gunshot
wound of the heart were reported.
City Gentleman-"Whatp place are you
looking for?" Merchant Prince-"Well,
I've been reading a good deal lately, and
have heard good deal about Anarchy in
France, but can't find itanywhere on the
map"
Two gentlemen, slightly acquainted,
met a young lady not noted for her per-
sonal charms, Jack" remarked one,
"here comes the craziest looking girl in
New York" Yes, Pm engaged to her"
was the crushing reply.
"A personal" in New York daily a
few days ago stated that eff John Smith,
formerly Of Philadelphia, will call at No
- Blank street, he will hear something
to his advantage" John called. There
was about $50 of him-and he has been
calling at the rate Of forty-seven per day
ever since the personal" appeared.
The young gentleman who sang
my heart and lutte are all the store
That can bring to thee"
was solemnly assured by the young lady's
paternal relative that it would be quite inn
possible to support family on the receipts
of such a stare, and was earnestly enjoined
not to undertake the experiment with any
member of his family.
Managing a Husband" How do you
manage your husband, Mrs. Croaker 2
Such Job us / have of 1t with Smith y
Easiest thing in the world, my dear; give
him a twitch backward when you want
him to go forward For instance, you see,
to day had loaf of cake to make. Well,
do you suppose that because my body is in
the pastry room that my soul need be there
too? Not bit of it. l am thinking OF
all sorts Of celestial things the while.
Now Croaker has way of tagging
round at my heels, and bringing me
plump down in the midst OF my
aerial flights, by asking me the price of
the sugar I'm using. Well, you see, it
drives me frantic! and when l woke up
this morning, and saw this furious storm, |
knew that had him on my hands for the
day, unless l managed right SO | told him
that hoped he wouldn't 60 out to catch
his death such weather that If he wasn't
capable of taking care of himself, | should
do it for him; that it was very lonesome
rainy days, and that wanted him to stay
at home and talk with me; at any rate he
mustn't 90 out and hid his umbrella and
India ribbers. Well, of course, he was
right end up; Gust as expected y and in
| less than ten minutes was streaking down
street at the rate of ten knots an hour.
You see there's nothing like understand
| ing human nature no woman should be
married till she is thoroughly posted up in
this branch of her education"
Industrial.
L