The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1871-12-30
AnaweEs to correspondeata.
uY JOSH BIILnas.

JAKE.-Man's moral and sphisikal life
IL made up ov bye laws and constitushun,
and il he will take good care ov the bye
laws, the constitushun will take care ov
itself. .a r.asI -5..alF
The fewer bye laws man haz, the
better, only have them good, and see to
it that they are executed. X. 60. .f-,A
kno oV lots ov men who are all bye
laws and no constitdshun, and then agin,
/ kno of sum men who are all constitu-
shun and no bye laws.
If kant have but one, giveme the con-
stitushun. 49,
JonN.-Flattery IL a very powerful
stimulant, but its crate strength lays in
being delikately administered.
Thare IL some men who viii take it az
they dew hasty puddin and milk, Just gap
and swallow. - -. .a.. -
Honest flattery STAINS in the same rela-
shunl tew just praze that interest duz tew
money.
Every man IL entitled tew the interest
on hiz mummy, and per cent OF flattery
wont hurt any man who is honestly enti-
tied tew the principal
Flattery alwuz makes wise man hum
bic and kerful, but it haz the same effek
on a phool that band of musk has on q
plough hoss, the iust time he hears it.
AMos--Doktors are not all quacks, yu
have got wrong noshuns about this. -
Doktors, lawyers and ministers have u
hard row to no, they have to deal with the
kredulity, knavery, and fears NV the peo-
pie, three of the most difikult traits IN hui
man natur tew handle.
II wuZ q doktor, and understood mi
bizzness, 1 Should dOktOr ma pGSiunts, and
let the. disease take kare ov ITSELF
More folks are cured this way than emmy
other. 800
1t amt much trouble tew doktor sick
folks, but tew doktor the well ones il both
ersum.
lii wuz lawyer would qui: the biz
ness the tust good chance 1 got.
If waZ minister, and had tew preach
the Gospel tew mi people, whoZe religion,
nine-tenths Ov them, waZ the result ov
their fears, and who want willing tew Civ
me but four hundred and fifty dollars a
year, (half store pay, and the rest alter
harvest,) should resign mi charge, and
enter that field az missionary.
ENoCH-Thare IL nothing more wuSs,
tew young man, just commencing tew
slide down the hill ov life, than too much
inkredulity.
1t IL better tew larn wisdum bi expert
ence than bi precept; thare IL crate risk
In being wize before our time
When i see young man who IL suspi-
cious Ov every thing he sees, i think he
wants more watching than one who amt
afraid ov nothing.
Suspicion amt apt tew make man
wize, but 1t haZ made sum dredful kun
ming kritters. t4S'E HE&EE SO
Running and innosense don't gro on
the same bush very plenty, hut if they do,
one ov them IL the thorns and the other
IL the flowers. 81
LUTHER.-There IL . things in this
world pesky hard to do, and suit your Gus
TONERS one IL keeping distrikt skool,
and the other IL, beinga mOther-in-law.
Emmy man, or woman, who kan keep a
districkt skool, and give general salts
faCktion, amt good for nothing.
a good disITikt schooImaster IL like an
undertaken, dreaded bi every body.
1t takes n small woman 70 boo suCceSS-
ES,l EslsStI.e o. - low. .'#s t-. ~
don't think, from what kan larn, that
this IL a good gear for mothers .in-law; i
hear 4 good deal oY komplaint about
them. s...-
There IL only one way tew suckcecd in
the mother-in law Dizziness, and that IL
don't run after yure children, but keep
back, and let them hunt for W..
Good mothers-in-law don't liv mulch
nearer than Is miles ov their children
and alwus let the children do the heft ov
the visitin.
MARK-Yu say yu are about tew begin
life, and want tew begin right, and yu
ask me how tew do it.
First, as tew yure religion, mi advice
il, that yu adopt q leetle TO time.
Commence with this, "do unto others
az yu would hav them do unto yu"
After yu hav got this well larnt, will
Civ yu anuther dose. ~,
The CRATE trouble with MI beginners'iz,
they undertake to raize more religion
than they can lift, and the konsequentz
izs they gita discouraged and loze their
grip.
Too much religion IL the wust thing in
the world to 'lift.
Az tor the Dizziness yu intend to toller,
any that IL honest, IL honorabel, but
wouldn't be q boss jockey, for don't kare
how Plus man IL, shopping HOSES VIII
make him karelesS.
In reference to Citing married, ii hav
got but one rule for that, which don't
vary, marry Yun9. and marry fur luc"
This will win seven times out ov ten,
and the other three times are respectable
plumbers to make.-Nesc York Weekly. -.