The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-04-07

sCz6gORgEGS.

-
amt true"
If ycu are not the, head or tail of >
donkey, what are you2 No. end Of .
donkey.
Il is estimated that nine inches OF
dry snow on the ground is equal to one
inch of water.
| The man who tried to tan leather
with the bark dog has goue into
tho sausage business.
A Leavsnworth paper announces the
marriage of young lady named "Si-
ezra Nevada Latta."
| More than two hundred students Of
The German Universities hare been
killed during the war.
"Jaee," said wag, ,"It's all over
town" whats all over toHnf-
"Mud!'a james eyes dropped
The winter has been SO severe in
! England that birds are dying of hun
ger. Among blaekbirds the mortality
is great. ai tar
The Second Regiment of Prussiaa
Landwehsr, composed almost entirely Of
married men, left over 5000 children
at home.
"You have very striking counts-
nance" as the donkey said to the ele-
phant, when he hit him over the back
with his trunk.
A farmer complains that when he
! takes his wheat to have it ground ho
| finds a very large portion Of it is sub
jeet to mill dew.
Gov. Sentsr finds the Tenpesseeans q
| very polite people. They are asking
his pardon about five times day for
convicted criminals.
The floor of one of the Lich6eld
Conn churches is so uneven that in
passing up one of the aisles, person
goes ont of sight thirteen times So
says local paper.
A country girl coming from the field,
was told by her cousin that she looked
as fresh as a daisy kissed. "No, in.
deed" was her simple reply, "that
wasn't his name."
A Western man who was recently in
yitcd to great seat on the floor of the
House at Washington, indignantly re-
fused, saying that he was accustomed to
sit on chairs at home.
| Illinois mus. bear off the palm for
virtue. a saloon keeper in that State
keeps Temperance pledge behind the
bar, and does his best to induce bad
paying customers to sign il.
A nezr-sighted man in Peoria got on
his knees, and proposed to his intended
father-in-law, who in his wife's apron
was pecling potatoes. He asked for a
! quick decision "befere the old folks
came in" He then left in advance of
a butcher-knife.
| Hearing physician remark that
small blow would break the nose, our
Daniel exclaimed, aWell, I dunno bout
that. I've given my nose good
many blows, and Pvs never broken it
yet" By quick movement he avoids
cd blow on the head.
| There is paper printed in the Chero-
kee nation in the ''native dialect" An
Arkansas editor says: at is the worst
specimen OF picked tongue We ever saw
1t looks as though nitro-gbcerine ex-
| plosion had occurred in type foundry
Two little boys were met after dark
by q fallox who demanded their money.
Said ono of them, Il have no money"
This might have been sufficient an
swor; bat tho other made assurance
doubly sure by adding, ''and I have'n ne
any pocket to put money IN.
/ A cockncy at the Falls of Niagara,
4 when asked how he liked them, replicd:
"They are ,ansome-quite SO brt
i they don't quiet hansen my hexpaA-
tions; besides, got retted, and lost my
at. prefer to look at them in the
hengraving, in 'ot yether, and in de
| 'ouse"
| A gentleman by the name of Pepper
| had been thrown several times from
lspirited horse, and was relating the cir
cumstance 10 friend, at the same time
4 observing he had never given his horse
i name "I think, observed his friend
ayou should call him 'Pepper-castor. !"
/ An Irishman was travelling on his
road to Manchester, N. II. He arrived
at the forks of the road where there
stood sign, board, which read, Man
i chester four miles. ssMan chased her
/ four miles!" cried Paddy ssbe Saint
/ Pathrick, could have caught her me=
self in half the time"
| There wero twenty three battles dr.
ling the late Franco German war; be.
sides, there were forty nine engage. ment.
and combats, which had almost the nro'
proportions of battles There were
twenty sieges, comprisip.y the three IS.
mense strongholds Of Strasbotrc. Mcfz
and Paris.
A little bay, whose mother had prom,
ised him pr resent, was saying his pra !.
ers preparatory to going to bed, but Hi
mind running on horse, he. began Il
follows: "Our Father, who art 10 heav.
en-ma, won't you give me- horsc
hallawed be thy name with string On
| A-Pittsburgh (pa.) paper of recon-
( date contains this advertisemeuf: s:
Three young ladies Of AEleghany wish
fto engage three young gentlemen 70 fake
them to the lecture this winter. [<s,
fare and ticket furnished, and refresh
! ments At the homes Of the ladies amer
wards"
a gentleman, whose house had been
burglarized no less than tkfeei tineI
within the last six months, had the tor
story of the aforesaid house b Grned &
recently In . poscript to letter IS.
s nouneing the fact. ha ni1ilnso1s h;a.,: ii.