South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-09-22
True Marriage.

1 A1O %AhhAAH6Os
THE question that woman should ash
concerning the man she marries, ough
not so much 70 be, What are his inten
tions?" but "What is his capacity 2
How strong is he? How much can hi
endure of life's most uhpromising reality
and come out more than corqueror? He
may be ever so loving, ever so amiable
ever so elegant and fascinating; bat these
are summeT-dsy qualiflcationsl Has he II
his nature the stern stuff of which heroe:
are made? Does he esteem virtue to be
of more value than the tricks and manner;
of an artful Jezebels Does he stand with
uncovered head and moistened eyes in
the presence ofa tender selfabnegation
that can endure even crucifxion for loves
| dear sake, and utter no word Of com
plant, but only a prayer for strength
Or does he find in the awful majesty of
such nature an uncomprehended mys-
terry, that daZZles, and blinds, and makes
afraid until he would fain flee from Its
presence, even while it was suffering and
dying for his sake? If the latter, he
deserves no blame; he did not choose his
organization; so cover his memory with
the mantle of an imperishable love that he
may never understand, and then go thy
way in peacel Sleeping or waking, the
world is broad enough for two, and there
be some mysteries that must wait for the
long eternity to solve. On
the other hand, man who resolves TO
risk the precarious combination, matri-
mony and poverty, should choose a wife
with the austeriiy ofjudgment, rather than
to crafty the passing hunger of tenn
porary appetite. A mon well married is
winged; badly married, he is shackled."
The terms well married and badly mar
ried become more complicated when
poverty is to be considesed. If man has
wealth, he has but to choose pretty lay
figure for dress and jewels. Mind and
heart are of no consequence; animal
beauty is sufficient. II, however, he has
only poverty and affection to offer, the
choice becomes more difficult. He has,
on the one hand, to avoid the delicate
creature whose overwrought sensibilities
would be inadequate to the heroic strug-
giles or the cruel privations of his lot; and,
on the other hand, he must not choose a
coarse grained creature, who will bring up
his children to defective education and
vulgar associates, and fill his house with
persons whose society can afford neither
pleasure nor profit.
It has been well and truly said that "a
man who would have fine guests must
have fine wife," for it is she who shall
determine whether the Lares and Penates
of a home shall bring spiritual visions of
divine rest and beauty, or suggest only
sensuous dreams of physical comfort. 1t
is the wife whom the neighbors weigh and
measure, from back windows and front
door steps, and by chance meetings, when
they hand in the social verdict as to wheth-
er the Smiths or Browns are anybody"
and worth inviting in a select circle to
meet distinguished guests. 1t is the wife
who must make the dignity of her own
individuality apparent, irrespective of her
surroundings or her husbands poverty or
wealth. 1t is the wife who shall train the
children for her own social status; for in
poverty, not less than in wealth, the chill
dren of heroic parents may become fitted
for the greatest intellectual honors and So
cisl triumphs. To do this, however, re-
quires q nice discrimination, that there be
no undue attention to non-essentials, to
the neglect of essentials. No slavery to
dress, that robs the heart and mind of
proper attention. No resorting to petty
shams of ostentation, as if poverty were a
degradation and the appearance of wealth
ennobling; for of this be assured, the chill
dren who are taught to be ashamed of
poverty will grow TO be not afraid of any
crime that will bring the real or simulated
wealth. The children, on the other hand,
who are taught that good book is better
than a fine dress, and education the work
of years, while clothes may be purchased
in an hour, will become so noble
in fhnir ~ 6nUplnTl
themselves resources that will one day
bring them not only wealth, but honor
and usefulness, and the happiness incident
to such possessions. Poverty, under such
circumstances, becomes exalted to heroism,
and shames into insignificance the glare
and glitter of ignorant, Haunting prosper
ity. Very inferior actors and actresses are
chosen to wear the tinsel splendor and
support the pompous stupidities of Kings
and Queens, yet to Genius is allotted the
character that thinks, and acts, and speaks
the awful tragedy of animate existence
To impress these truths upon the minds
of children is the mothers work, and in
choosing a wife man should consider his
children, and remember the old adage That
ian ounce of mother is worth pound of
clergy" Married to noble and affection
ate woman, a true man will sink neither
in his own estimation nor in the estima-
ton of those whose esteem is valuable on
account of his poverty. 1t is only the
corrupt and ignorant who attach disgrace
topoverty, or feel respect for mere wealth.
Some one has declared those only to be
poor who feel poor, and no sensible man
or woman can feel impoverished who has
gained the life long companionship of
loving and congenial nature, whom neither
sickness nor SORROW, nor things present
nor things to come, can estrange-C Chicago
Tribune.