The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-09-17
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER II. ISL.
WIT AND WTsD0E.


lance.
An iuhuman act-pulling down the
'sblind.n
Counting after marriage-applyiBg for a
divorce.
How much cloth is required to make a
spirit wrapperf
One ought to have dates at ones finger
ends seeing they grow on the palm.
Why are good women like ivy Because
the greater the ruin the closer they cling !!
Why are bad women like ivyf Because
the closer they cling the greater the ruin
A new word coined for the use of the
present generation is Observation-Disclosures"
Why is the elephant the most sagacious
of travellers Because he never takes his
eye off of his trunk.
A baby who kisses his mother and fights
his father, may be said to be partial to his
ma and martial to his pa.
Have particular devotion to your
guardian angel, and place unlimited conf
dence in him as your best friend.
Why does coat get larger when taken
out of carpet-bag7 Because, when you
takeit out you'll find it in creases.
A cynical lady, rather inclined to firt,
says most men are like cold-very easily
caught, but very difficult to get rid of.
81 will be in the fashion if I dye for il !"
said the ambitious belle, whose locks were
not of the ruling tint; and dye che did.
"Husband, must have some change to-
day. Well, stay at home and take care
of the children-that will be- change
enough"
A lady asked sailor whom she met why
a ship was called s'she." The tar replied
that it was "because the rigging cost more
than the hull"
f< o. =
the great annihiiator it annihilates time
and space" Said another, land multi
tndes-of passengers, too"
Books are company; and the company
of bad books is as dangerous as the COM
pany of bad associates, while that of good
books is like that of good men.
The drum is paradox of parchment;
for the best drums, of course, are those
which can't be beat" and if they cannot be
beaten what are they good fort
An eccentric clergyman lately said in one
of his sermons, that "about the commonest
proof we have that q man ia made of clay,
is the brick SO often found in his hat"
A sensible lady Of mature years says
that it does not look well for young law
yer to put his arms around girl at u cir
Gus and comb her hair with his fingers.
The GALAXY says that the reason the
Russians, are so slow in availing them
selves of the electric telegraph is because
of their aversion to the elevation of the
Poles
There is said to be living in Winchester
man who is possessed of such a power
full memory, that he is employed by the
various benevolent societies to remember
the poor"
Some people are never contented. After
having all their limbs broken, their heads
smashed, and their brains knocked out,
iii 70 1o,~ xrx- 10
further damages.
propounded tile following-"I picked it
up: couldn't find it; put it down, and
went along with it." No one could guess
it. 1t was asplinter in his foot.
A little boy having broken his rocking
horse the day it was bought, his mother
began to rebuke him and to threaten to
box his ears. He silenced her by inquir-
ing: "What is the good of boss till it's
broke ~
"You'd better look out for you hoss's
feet above here mister" said a ragged boy
to reading traveller. "Why 2" said the
gentleman, nervously pulling up. Coos
there's fork in the road there" was the
candid reply.
A mile or two from town, pedestrian
met boy on horseback, crying with cold.
why don't you get down and lead him
said til" boy, 'it's BIB borrowed horse,
and I'll ide him if freeze"
The Cornersville, (Ind) Times tells of an
old rail-splitter in that county who put
quietus upon young man who chafed him
about his bald head, in these words
Young man, when my head gets as soft
as yours can raise hair to SELL"
The only amusement of the citizens of
Calhoun, Georgia, is that of tying tin ware
to the tails of village dogs. The dogs are
so we'll trained that whenever one OF them
sees an oyster can in the street he backs
up and waits far some one to tie it on. /
Ben, why were you out SO late last |
night 2" SIT wasn't so very late-only a
quarter of twelve" Chow dare you sit
there and tell me that2 was awake when |
you came, and looked at my watch. 1t was
3 o'clock "Well, isn't u quarter of IL
A famous Judge came late into court one
day in busy session; whereat his clerk, in
great surprise, inquired Of him the reason;
:, 81 A child was bora" his honor said ida and ID
sob, no." said he Gas yet he's but crier."