Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1871-04-04
Remnants By Josh Billings.

Customs are like grease they make en- &.
ny thing slip eazy.
The richest all IL he who haz got
but little. but haz 90, all lie wants.
NaIuT makes ali the nuElrUIrn-wealrh
edukashun. nor Pedigree. made one Yet.
Crate takers are generally "r1re liars. for
them who talk much. mu-I S.,uner or later
run out Ov the truth, aud tell what they don't
kun.
kno OF emmy quantity Ov people whose
vIrtew are at the mercy "v other folks who
are good simply for the repurashun ov it, who
haven't got emmy more real appetite tew. their
conscience than klaIn haZ
There are u" sekrs nor religious disputes
among the heather; they all OF them cook
missionary the zane way
One CRATE reason win Jordan is sich a ruff
road ,ew travel IL because almost evry boldly
works inside nv their Own lot, and let's the
turnpike take itself
There IL lots at folks vino expekt tew cscapc
hell juSt uekauSe the crowd iz So crate tia,
are guin. there.
Every makes hiE own pedigree, aud the
best PedIgree il clean Conscience.
To lie a genrlcnau-git rtIch aud keep
boss aud buggy.
The man WHO IL ;yrant in hiz household
II an ahJekt Gus amuns his equals
NIrteW IL like strength; ~ man kan tell
how mulch he has got nv it till he Gums
Rkr"st sumrhins hc kant l!!t.
The strongest propensity in woman's uatur
IL To- want to know wv hiatt ynin.. nu ?" and
tho next strongest " TO bass the Job
Skurn nut the day nv IitIlc things, for tharc
IL II" man ia this world ST. "rIto hut what sum
one kan Il" him n favor, ar injury.
Iharc - une witness that never " guilty. ov
perjury, aud chat Is the conscience.
doctor whn; do ynu think is tn. matter
Eith my little buy!" why. it is only acor
Tusticatcd exegesis anIipn> medically cmaua-
ting from the germ OF the animal refrigerator
producing a prolific source Ut irrirabIImy III
the pericTanial epidemic at the mental prutuu-
dity. ''Ah. that's what | told Betsy, but
She lowed it was wurrums."
-''Dn you think doctor" asked an anxious
mother, ''Ihat it would improve little Juhuny's
health TO take him to the springs aud let HIM
Try the water 81 haven't a doubt OF it, mad
am. ''What springs would you recommend,
doctor = Any springs, madam, where you
find plenty of soap"
- Mr.. Lorenzo Day of Chickasaw County,
Miss. having married Miss Martha Week, 4
local poet comments:
"A day is made. Week il lost,
But time shou!d not complain
There'll soun be little days enough,
To make the Week again"
A Scottish noLleman one day visited a
lawyer at his Office, in which at the time there
was blazing fire. which lei him To exclaim.
"Mr.-- .ynuf office l. ~ hot aS an oven"
$50 it should he. my lord" replied the law
yer; las it is here make my bread"
A Michigan bridegroom filled to appear
at tho appointed time. hut semt n note. say in.:
that he didn't feel we'll enough acquainted
with her to marry. Her father went and
gave him formal introduction with his bOUt,
aud the performance Went right on.
- This is the way Colorado lnvcr express.
Eed admiration for his fair: She's recler,
she IL. She killed bar when she was fifteen
aud Digger Indian when she was eighteen.
and n"" she'll whip her weight in wildcats
"A friend. who recently tried his htcE
in court, de fines law f,llnws: IA game #
chance. played hy four "r more persnns. in
which the lawyers play partners and make
clean sweep at the euiise stakes"
Wife. don't sec how they send letters
on them 'Gr" wires wiIh"mt teariu' 'em al 70
bits They don't s'ni the PAPER, said the
wife, they just .eDj ihO writing iu fluid
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