The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1871-08-25
GLEANINGS.

a NulOaSo culIOr, VINO receives large
supPlies of original poetry, offers to
publish 1t If paid nine dollars per line.
A boy in a Cincinnati Sunday-school
who was asked who made the beautiful
hills about them, remarked that he did
not know, as his parents only moved in
the town the day before.
At a recent wedding in Warsaw, Illi-
inois, among the refreshments served
were bottle of wine and loaf OF cake
prepared for the wedding of the brides
mother over twenty years ago.
a citizen of Connecticut, recently
introduced to a newly married man,
congratulated him warmly, and said
"Ah, these Litchfield county girls make
clever wives; 'T've had three of EN-"
"Where was l, ma" said a young
urchin to his mother, as he stood gazing
Mt his drunken and PROSTATE father ;
"where was l when you married pa
Why didn't you take me along? l
could have picked out nicer man than
he is"
The attention of two drummers was
attracted to q peculiar chimney on a
house in Virginia, and asked a faxen-
haired urchin if il "drawed WELL"
eyes" replied the boy, at draws the
attention of all the fools that pass this
road"
A naughty little boy blubbering be-
cause his mother wouldn't Let him 90
to the river on Sunday, upon bcing .ad-
monished, said: 81 don't want to go
swimmin' with 'em, ma only want
togo down and see the bad boys drown
for going swimmin'."
The Messrs. John TAYLOR Il Sons, of
England, are said to be the greatest mi
ming firm in the world, the largest en-
ployers of labor in that department,
having mines in every quarter of the
globe. In Great Britain alone, the
number of men employed by them is
5000.
This is a possible re suit of the pres
ent social agitation, according to the
Nation: "Before long, man will gaze at
women with the same emotions with
which he gazes at a landscape or a field
of wheat; while woman will look on
man as she looks on grain elevator or
n locomotive.
John Stuart Mill has been astonish-
ing his Scottish friends by the versatil-
ity of his accomplishments. While Wis
ting Edinburgh, this season, he passed
much of his time in sketching, which
he does, It is said, to perfection. Mr.
Mill, besides, is fine paintist, an able
philologist, archeologist and botanist
A jury in North Carolina, after being
charged" in the usual way by his hon.
or, retired, when white Juror Ventur.
ed to ask colored associate if it be un.
derstood the charge of the Judge
"Golly," exclaimed the astonished
amendment, che doesn't charge us nuf
fin for dat, docs he? Why, thought
we was gwine to git pay"
Over 1000 of Surgeons sermons
have been printed. AS he recently in
formed his hearers that every sermon
cost him 4S hours of pain, these printed
discourses represent $4,000 hours O.
great discomfort to himself, to say moth
ing of what his hearers sufferd. Some
Of the sermons have been translated into
every language in Christendom.
To husband strength, mental anC
physical-to husband and govern pow
or, passion, every impulse and ever
attribute of our nature, so that Their
may ever be with US the reserv,
strength for use and enjoyment---is ont
of the chief secrets of happiness. Elk
cess in pleasure or employment is thu
bane of life. To stop a little short o
the point of repletion is the golden Sc
cret.-OceTldnd.
An Illinois woman committed sui
eide by hanging herself to an apple tree
At the funeral neighbor, noticing the
sad appearance of the husband, consol
ed him by saying that he had met with
n terrible loss. "Yes," said the hus
band, heaving a sigh, ''she must have
Kicked awfully to shake off six bushels
of green apples that would have beer
worth dollar busbel when they 60
ripe"
The Davenport, Iowa, printers seizeC
circus and mcnagerie the other day
for not paying its bills, and now eaci
editor is the happy owner of a Swine
ouphalus, or Giasticutus, or q Hippopo
tatiemise, or an Alaska Sea Lion. WheI
subscribers rage and man comes il
and wants to know "who wrote that ar
ticle,' the editor unchains his menager
lie, and the insulted fellow has a suddeI
call to "see man" elsewhere.
A man ought to be saved as a youn.
tree is saved, being rooted and ground
ed and lifted up by each years increase
stretching out hands to heaven, anC
gaming strength with stature, to stanC
against the blasts, to defy the frosts
and hail the returning spring with buC
and blossom, fragrance and fruit. /
some such progress Of growth be no
possible then the days of active, aggres
slve piety are already numbered.
THE LATEST ON HORACE GREELEY
1t is reported that Horace Greeley go
into muss with Texas editor. II ap
pears that in an agricultural essay OF
the culture of tobacco, Mr.. Greeley es
serted that fine cut would not ripel
well unless the tinfoil was strippe,
from the growing buds early in tn
spring, and that plug tobacco ought t,
be knocked off the trees with clubs in
stead of being picked by hand. Thi
the Texas editor said was nonsense
and Mr.. Greeley challenged him.
A Professor in a certain college ha,
taken his class out, on a pleasant after
noon, to exercise them in practical sur
veying. The next morning they wer
to be examined on the same. The frs
man was called up. Said the professor
How would you go to work to surve!
n lot of land ?" deep thinking, but NJ
answer) of man should come to YOU
10 get you to survey a lot of land, wha
would you do?" 81 think" said tn
student, thoughtfully, al should ten hin
he had better get somebody else"
The way young lover warbled @Pn
lonely tonight, love, without thee, " un
80 NAA1 MAuuOMS IN -DObJ0Q
the other evening. was very affecting
until the old gentleman let loose tn
two dogs in the back yard. The senti
mental youth had no occasion to com
plain of loneliness after that. His new
pants cost Sl4, and he wears a SONAR
foot of sticking plaster inside of then
somewhere. For the next week or two
he thinks, he will imbibe his hash per
pendicularly at lunch counter. IT
healthier that way.
Seth NJ. Hays, of Council Grove, saw
that when he came to that place
years ago, aud for some years after, tn
Neosho river was often dry for eightee
months at time, and grass hardl
grew. When the land sales wore mad
in 1854 he bought his farm on Hay
bottom, in Chase county, simply be
cause more grass grew there than il
any part of the county. Ever since b
came to this part of Kansas the season
have been becoming more seasonable
Kansas can now boast of being one o
the most seasonable States in the Un
ion. ~ss 2st@
The Milwaukee Wisconsin, gets Of
the following: "The Chicago paper
have been claiming, since the river go
running backward, that it was safe 70
people to battle in it, but no citizel
could be induced 60 venture In until Al
experiment had been made as to tn
deadly effects of the water. The Othe
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