The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1871-09-14
scRla.Aps,s


pick-poekets. sis,s ;s.sss.. 81 81
. The best throw upon thadice ;isas 81, s
to throw them away. ss ss;Ss
..4Whef does man have to keep ss sssi
his word2 When no one viii sasss,
take it. ssssz.3 - ss$ ss sss;:ssssaaSssS 5sssr
The latest thing Outfits gas, S.
when it is turned of, and every one.
has gone to bed. So af 'sssssf
Beauty in woman is like stiae .sss,. 8 q
flowers in. spring, but virtue is like sss ~
the stars Of heaven. =
WHY'S the root Of the, tongue IS.
like a detected man? Because its
down in the mouth. :. . x. s3s as ~
An ill.bred man is said to be b
like lightning, because he does NOT sd; q;
know how to conduct himself. a,,. s:,ss.,..
Cool-To take mans hat withasSas
his name in it, simply because YOU 81
want to get his autograph: kSss
- "A female lecturer says the only # g
decent thing about Adam was q s.ss
rib, and that went to make soIae 8
thing better.
Advice-Ayoid arguments with 9 9
ladies. In spinning yarn amongst = 9
silks and satins, man is sure t0
be a10rSted. q fsS3sS e5ss'st+
: s'Would you call this the calf of VIZ s
a leg P asked, Bob pointing to- one & @
of his neither limbs. o, re-: 7ss
piled a Hibernian, 81 should say iit
was the leg Of cali. "
Hhas rained SO hard at Milwan- ~: 81
kee for four months that the Chi
cago Republican asserts that all The
children born there are vel; footed
A gentleman who had been vic-as,g
timized by q notorious borrower -,
who always forgot to pay, called
him one Of the most promising Z,
men M Of his acqaaint # ltapce. y 3 8
"My sone e.said man Of doubt 81,
full morals, putting his hand on taa s !.
head Of a young urchin, II believe
satan has got hold Of you. 81 be- ~
lieye SO too, : was the reply
Hook and onesof his friends hap-ss,
pened to come to: q bridge. .sDo ..I
you know who built this bridg
.o;J ba 4o&uonI SgNrS !. Il u TI,r,,t tSssss
go over you \ be told. = is,
Modern Mirrors. An old s.eo-
quette looking into her glass, and q.
seeing her wrinkles, ,.cried; aThis 10
new glass is not worth q farthing.
They cannot make mirrors so web ea
as they used to do ,ss -.
A lawyer oncewrote "rascals in
the hat of a brother, lawyer, who,
on discovering it, entered scom-
plaint in open court against the
trespasser, who, hesaid, had notonly
taken his hat, bufhad written his
own name in it. ~. "a. ssi:ssss i..syses4;
The Emperor Napoleon and fam..
lily visited the steamship Great ,
Eastern, at London, Tuesday:
:. Six persons were drowned by
the wreck Of the Bondicar, from
Cronstadt for an English port.
Duke d,.Aumale has, It is said,
again declined to be a candidate
for the Presidency Of the French
7...tt; ss,ss..ssSSs5;;s q 1:
Hon. jefferson Davis and Gener-s
al Jubal Early have secured Gotta.
gee at White Sulphur Springs, Vir-
ginia. 90 ssefsss5aE er14f
Thirty years ago there were not
twenty wood engrayers in the Uais
ted States. Now there are four,
hundred. -;
Archbishop cCloskey reports
that the Roman Catholic Church
property in New, York City, Is
worth $5, 100000. ~ ,t'a4rs
AT Birmingham Englandl a
rope has been made, which is mora
than six miles long. and weighs
more than sixty tons.
Douglass Jerrold was paid twen-
ty-fve dollars for that famous one
line witticism; '.Advice to people.
about to marry, DON'T -
A New York burgler was captured
while singing, "Do they miss meat
home" They will miss him for
about ten years. "a ;. .S.gA
Eight to ten million gallons Of
wine are the estimated figures Of
the next California wine-crop, BRAN
dy being left out of the account.
In the window of a shop in an
obscure part of London is this an
nounoement: Goods removed,
messages taken, carpets 'beaten'
apd poetry composed on any SUBJ
ject. ~