The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-03-09

Tight boots are so Comfortable, because
they make man forget all his other miseries. !"
= Sweetening ones coffee is generally the
first stirring event of the day.
A good housewives affairs are Like mo-
ton to adjourn-always in order.
A lady's dressmaker horrifed her the 9TH
er day by telling her she would "cut her body
out" in the course of the afternoon.
= Miss Todd, of Chicago, advertises for a
husband six feet in hight. Here is fair
chance for young man TO get his todd.
= As you rise in life so does the envy of the
world increase; the man who makes reputa-
ton mako enemies.
- A young lady being asked by an enthusi-
astic politician which party she was most in IA
vor Of, replied that she preferred wedding
party.
people as it is with narrow-necked bottles
the less they have in them, the more noise they
make in pouring it out.
Mrs. Field, of Fenton, Michigan, lost her
power of speech, and after remaining mute
four years, has suddenly recovered it. The best
shorthand reporter can't keep up with her
now. =.
- A visitor to New York said he stopped at
house kept upon the European plan, which,
according to his experience, is to charge 80
much for the use of the room that you have no
money in the morning to invest in breakfast.
- The usual cry in proclaiming the honr
when sentry duty, is "Halfpast ten o'clock
and alps well p but the Dutchman, who was on
duty, had forgotten the precise words, and sang
out. at the top of his voice: "More ash den
o'clock, and all is better ash goot"
- A correspondent says that liberal top
dressing of old leached ashes produced "a mag
ical effect" on his bed of young strawberry
plants set some months before, and they grew
finely after having been long stationary from
drouth. s sa.-ss
- The New York Tribune says HIt is the
fashion to attribute to successful statesmen all
manner of base motives, to accuse them of all
sorts of secret and devilish intrigues, and to
credit these with success, forgetting altogether
that it is not great statesmen, but great princi-
piles which succeed"
- 1t has been estimated that the amount of
food consumed by dogs in the United States, if
fed to hogs, would make $S0,000,000 worth; of
troyed by worthless ours in this country is worth
SS00,OO0
- Farming and physic are alike in this, that
rs no two constitutions are exactly alike SO no
two farms are alike in composition, texture, ex-
posure, etc. The farmer must study the pecu-
tiarities of his farm, just as physician studies
the idiosyncracies ef his patient. ~ =.
At the recent election in Leesburg, Ohio,
young lady, dressed in the most fashionable
style, appeared at the window with q ticket in
her hand, which she insisted should be placed
in the ballot-box- It took frst-class consta-
Bile to get her to go away.
A gentleman learned in the origin of So
cial customs was asked what was the meaning
of casting an old shoe after a newly married
couple as they started on their trip. Said he,
"To indicate that the chances Of happiness in
matrimony are very slippery"
"A marriage lately announced ia Western
paper reads curiously enough. 1t was to this
effect: Married, at residence Of brides father
by Rev. A. NJ. Lyon, John P. Ellis, Esq, all of
this city" This was indeed holding lone
hand on this interesting occasion. John, how
ever, deserves the congratulations Of his friends
on the ingenuity with which, in thus getting
married in his little game Of solitaire, he has
avoided the many disagreeable results that
somtimcs follow when Il woman is in the case