Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-11-02
Josh Billings Under Oath.

ve Josh Billings being duly sworn, testi-
fies az folders:
Eight wont go into and have much of
ennything left over. Many a yung fellow
haz found out this sum in arithmetics bi
trieing tew git number foot in num-
Der 6 boot.
9 Nirteu, in one respeckt, is like mummy.
That which we hav tew work the hardest
for sticks lew us the best
l hay often herd thare was men who
knew more than they could tell, but
never met one. | have often met those
who could tell great deal more than
they did kno, and was willing to sware to
it besides.
Hope has made CRATE many blunders,
but thare IL one thing about her always
did hke-she means well.
Sum people are good simply bekause
they are tew lazy to be wicked, and others
bekause they liant got a good chance.
Thare IL one thing that am not only
certain, but proud ov-thare liz more peo-
pie in this world who have changed from
bad to good, than from good to bad.
In mummy interest phollows the princi-
pal; in morals, principle often phollows
the interest.
Yu will motifs one thing-the devil sell
dunn offers tew go into Partnership with
bizzy man, but you will often see him
offer to jine the lazy man, and furnish all
the kapital.
L don't kno, after all, but it IL just about
as well tew git abuv yure Dizziness as it il
to hav yure dizziness git abuv yu
" In time ov peace prepare for war;
This il the way som fanilyz liv all the
time
When yu hear man who alwuz wants
tew bet hiz bottom dollar" you kan
make up your mind that that IL the size of
hiz pile.
The devil il the only individual on rex
ord who IL sed not tew possess a single
virtew.
Shere IL nothing that a man will cit so
sick ov as tew mulch molassis.
The vices which a man contrackts in hiz
youth, however much he may shove them
oph, will often call on him thru life, and
seek to renew his acquaintance
Every man haz his phollys, but there il
this difference in the poor man they
look like crime, while in the rich man
they only appear tew be exsentricitys.
Old age increases us in wisdom, and al
so in rumatism.
Primo lots ov pholks who are Plus list
bekause they waz born so. They kant
tell when they got religion, and if they
should looze it, they wouldn't know it.
We never outgro our phollys, we only
alter them.
Thare IL this difference between charity
and gift-charity Gums from the heart
and gift from the pocket.
Coquets are generally too silly to be
very wicked.
Thare IL full as menny pholks in the
world who hav been ruined hi kindness
as thare IL who hay been injured bi kru
city.
The man who il wicked enuff to be
dreaded il safer man in community than
the one who il just virtewous enuff not
to be suspecktid.
Flattery il the wust kind of Icing.
Hypockrasy IL always humble.
Gravity don't prove emmy thing. If
man IL really wise, he don't need it, and
think if he Amt wise, he should have it.
1t il jist as natral tew be born poor az
it IL tew be born naked, and it il no more
disgrace.
Thare il no excuse whatever for the in
science Of wealth; there may possibly be
for the insolence ov poverty.
Lazyness il the fust law of nature; self
preservation IL the seckond.
Eu kant konvert sinners bi preaching
the gospel tew them at half price. Emmy
sinner who is anxious tew git his religion
IN that way, liz satisfied with a poor arti- |
cle.-Ner K0rk IFee1zg.