Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-04-07

u 0lsanings.
The wine importers, in order to raise
prices, are trying to get up scare about
the vineyards of France not being in
condition to bear the present season.
The farmers of the United States annu-
ally expend $20, 100000 in reaping and
moving machines. The annual produc-
ton is now estimated at about $4,000
machines. ha ~''3
Two boys were conversing about Eli
jah's ascent in the chariot of fire. Said
one: Wouldn't you be afraid to ride in
such chariot?" mo" was the reply: mot
if God drove" as5N t,nric0.f
The legislature Of Maine having chang.
ed the measure Of milk from wine to beer
measure, the Kenebcc Journal says the
milkmen will have to get their quarts en-
larged and dig their wells deeper.
AJersymsn exhibits with pride tray
on which Mrs. Richmond carried to Gen.
Washington his breakfast, as be was sit
ting on horseback in Trenton before leav-
ing for Princeton. iig..
A western woman has invented spirit
bride photographs" in which the bashful
bachelor sitter's physiognomy is surround
ed by those Of the maids who would not
be averse to becoming his bride.
| Miss Macy Martin Middlebrook,
young Maryland girl, raised last year
over 5000 cabbages, and as the papers
Of that State mention with pride, she
weighs only 1873 pounds
A musician, in giving notice of an in-
tended concert at Cleveland, Ohio, an
nounced: "A variety of other songs
may be expected, too tedious to men
ton
They will never quit abusing Mr. Gree
ley's handwriting. The other day he
wrote a puff for Anna Dickinson's lecture
on Joan of Are. The compositor, (says
an exchange), set it up ANY Dutchman
can't play on a jewsarp.' ~
why" asks an enthusiastic gusher,
"why, oh, why is love like a canal boatg"
and knowing that conundrums are not
intended to be guessed, he replies to his
own question, because it is an internal
transport"
The American House, in Lebanon, Pa,
was built in 1771, just 100 years ago. On
one of the stones is an inscription in Ger
man, which, translated. reads: God
bless this house, and every person that
goes in and OUT
A lady once asked a gentleman what
wit was like, to which he replied: Like
your ladyship's bottle of sal volatile,
poignant at the first opening. but on be-
ing handled about, it loses all flavor, and
becomes insipidn se.s
A lady teacher in one of the public
schools of town in Wisconsin, has laid
aside the ferule and adopted the method
Of kissing her pupils into obediance.
The larger boys it is said are PARTICULARLY
unruly, and require daily correction.
A darkey, left in charge Of telegraph
, Office in New Orleans, while the operator
went to dinner, heard some one call over
, the wire, and began shouting at the in
strument: "De operator isn't yer" The
noise ceased t-a aa
The attention philanthropists is call
, ed to the following case: A dandy swell
/ in New York is in q fix. His pants were
, made so tight for him that he can't get
his boots on, and if he puts his boots on
. first, he can't get his pants on. This is u
case Of genuine distress.
Colonel Won Schmidt, the California en-
> gineer. has undertaken to drill a tunnel
five miles long through the Sierra Neva-
I da, to bring the water of Lake Bigler to
t San Frrncisco He will commence next
summer, and expects to finish his work
in $50 days.
e II say, boy is there anything to shoot
;. around here." inquired sportsman of a
: hoy he met. "Well," replied the boy,
!, nothing just about here, but our school
:, master is just over the hin there cutting
: : birch rods; you might walk up and pop
l him over" .-.l -.
= Feeling patients pulse by telegraph
S is the latest achievement. The sick man
e was in Washington and the physician in
e New York The beats Of the pulse were
! transmitted by a doctor with one hand
on the patients wrist and the other on the
telegraph key. ~"
Punch thus describes the present art
of poetry write profusion of ryth-
q mical and melodious nonsense, amidst
: which, at distant intervals, here and there
: introduce an ineligible line The dullest
f idea therein expressed will shine like q
!. star amid the surrounding darkness"
i The Lynn (Mass.) shoemakers have a
: ycaht, the hull of which is composed en-
tirely of old shoe boxes, the stays are
!, made of shoe binding, and the sails of
i split leather. They have now formed a
= yacht club, in order to have commoo-
: dore's flag, which is to be made of Turk
u ish morocco. 10
A lady in Sterling, H.. won ten dollars
n OF her brother the other day by shovelli 9
Y the snow from sidew ak, fifty feet in
length and eight feet wide. She was to
4 do the lob in two hours but had it COM
= pleted in an hour and quarter. Tha,
brother had better not allude to poor
, weak sisters" again.
II The following advertisement appeared
- in an Irish paper: whereas, Patrick
7 Maloncy has fraudulently taken away sev
;. eral articles of wearing apparel without
u my knowledge. this is, therefore, to in
l. form him that il he does not forthwith re
turn the same, his name shall be maui
Is public
v One of the candidates in Concord, n
l. H., believing he was elected, told an. al
E. dealer on election night to treat every
al body VINO came in during the evenin
70 1t his expense, and went home. TIL
oe announcement of the result showed. ur
- expectedly. that he was beaten by seve
ze votes. His successful opponent genel
ously offered to foot the bill
At Council Bluffs, Iowa. Mrs Waller
u, ~ spiel lives near a creek, on the edge Q
IA which stands her woodpile A few night
since, she heard somebody stealing he
ae wood. She approached cautiously, seize
d: pair of breeehes and a coat collar, an
,e in a minute a young man was yellin!
II ''take me out, take me out, shall drown.
I He still lives. ~
r A little fnur-year-old remarked to he
% mamma on going to hel Il am nc
afraid of the dark" NO, of course yc
are not" replied her mamma, "for
" can't hurt you" but, mamma, was
le little afraid once. when went to RI
ty pantry in the dark to get cookey.
'What were you afraid OFF, asked he
mammal Il was afraid l couldn't fin,
!. tho croEsac ~