Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1871-04-05
Alexandra Gazette
\ n D VIRGINIA ADVERTISER,
For tho COuntry,)


money, tew find out who waz the fust whistler,
but up tew now am just ~ much uncivilized
ON the Subjekt rs [ waz.
kan tell who played On the fust juice harp,
and who beat the tust tin pan, and kno the
year that the harp iv thousand strings waz
discovered in, but when whissling waz an in
FAINT IL as hard for me tew say az mi prayers in
10 dutch
Whisslng H wind instrument, and IL did
by pucking up the mouth, and blowing through
the hole.
IF had boy who couldn't whissell, don t
want tew be understood that should feel at
liberty tew give the boy up for lost but would
much rather he would know how tew whissell
fust rate than to kno how tew play Il seckoned
rate game Nv cards.
wouldn't force boy of mine tew whissell
agin his natral inclinashun
Wimmen, az a kind, or in the lump, are
poor whisslers. | don't kno how i found this
out but am glad ov it, it IL a good deal like
Growing in hen.
Growing is an unlady-lke thing in u hen
tew do.
I hay often heard hens tri tew Gro, but never
kuu one tew do herself justisS.
\ rooster kan kro WELL and hen kan kluck
well, and sa let each one Of them stick tew
their trade.
Klucking IL just az necessary in this world az
croing, espeshily if it IL we'll did,
But i want it well understood that am the
last man on reckord who would refuse u woman
chance tew whissell if she waz certain she had
the right pucker for it.
| never knu good whistler but what had 4
good constitushun
Whissling IL composed of pucker and wind,
and these two accomplishments denote vigor
Some people -alwus whissell WHARF there is
danger This they do tew keep the fraid out
cred whissling the next best thing tew kandle
to 20 down cellar with in the mite time.
The best whistler have ever heard have bin
amung the negroes Il make this remark with
the highest respekt to the accomplishments on
the whites have heard South Caroliny
darkey whissel so natral that a mocking- bird
would drop worm out ov his bill tew talk
back
I don't want emmy better evidence ov the
general honesty thare IL in whissel than the
fackt that thare amt nothing which dog will
answer quicker than the whissell ov his mas
ter, and dogs are az good judges ov honesty az
emmy kritter that lives.
1t il hard work tew phool dog once, and 1t
iz next tew impossible tew phool him the sec
ond time. II
amount who IL a good whistler
T wouldn't want tew sell him farm on cred
it, for should expekt to have tew take the
farm back after while, and remove the mort
gage myself.
You can't whissell mortgage oph from a
farm
A fust-rate whistler IL like middling- size
fiddler. good for nothing else, and the whls-
sling may keep man from getting lonesum-
it wont keep him from getting ragged.
WR1NG1NG MINISTERS 5 NECK.-There Is
nothing better calculated to lrrltate person
and cause display of angry passions than the
practice of late indulged in excessively by mis-
chievous urchins, of ringing door-bcls;; re-
porter Of the New York Democrat, in his peri
grination for news, heard Of lady who had
Suffered no little trouble from these rascals, and
a very mortifying consequence: :,
She had answered the door bell repeatedly
and was each time disappointed. At last she
determined to keep watch and ascertain the
cause of it, and perhaps catch them IN the at
tempt and administer to them good SounC
lecture Taking her stand at the head OF tht
stairs, she kept her vigil for several minutes
and was about retiring, when her industry wa
rewarded by the sound Of footsteps on the
porch
Keeping perfectly quiet, lest she might
frighten them away, she waited until the bel
had received vigorous pull, when her voice
was raised to its highest pitch, and she almost
screamed out, Il see you, you little rascal,
and rushing down the steps was Just IN time tt
catch the figure by the collar and give him ;
good shaking.
Imagine her surprise, though, when she
found that the object Of her rage was no othe
than the diminutive minister Of her choice,
who had come to make call, and give spirit
ual advice. His reception was rather warm
but few words of explanation made 1t al
right.
A MAN NEARLY KILLED By a JAcHASs.,
Charles Brown, Sr., q agentleman aged up"aTo
of sixty wears, and well known throughout TN
section of the State as one of our leading cltl
zens, came very near losing his lite last e pun
dav by 4 lack belonging to Edmund VOL
Mr. Brown had called at Mr.. W olf house, ana q
not finding him at home started across the neil
after him. On the way he stopped at pair
bars to look at lack which was gazing III 4
adjoining field. The animal had been some
what of a pet, but upon this occasion nc eXh'
blted his trcacherous disposition by lumpln:
over the bars, knocking Mr.. Brown down, seiz
ing him by the chin and throat with ms TEEN
tearing out a portion OF the flesh, nearly oarlh!
and and Stampipr his breast with his knees: Mr.
fSS Brown s1 kept his I presence Of mind caught tn
animal by the nostrils and choked hrn OH, bu
l." ~ ronoWcd W. the attack Immediately, biting An
ape6ns me peHG@cd the o lower portion Of the left arm
hand in = terrible manner, and Mr. B. chokih
him of as at first, and the jack renewing ss5 tn tn
attach Bnt he was now bleeding freely IN
left arm was powesless and he was fast losin
his his nnwsr u m of defence The unequal conte'
could have lasted buta minute or TWO ions'
when luckily Mr.. Frank Dowd, who was pas as'
ing, heard his cries and ran to ms asSls'ane'
and beat the Jack off with a rail which he too
from the fence.-Ohio Record.