The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-12-29
RELICS OF THE CHICAGO FIRE.
Their Manufucture-A Museum for their
preserVatiOn-SOme Articles which might
be Contributed as Characteristic Tokens.
tl,o.ll l,f nncI

The Chicago fire relics are just now
the most numerous in the world, infi-
nitely more so than pieces of the cruel
fix on which our Savior died, which are
encountered in Italy. In point OF num-
Der, they surpass the Roman coins in
the British Museum, or the tablets,
statues, and mosaics that Pompeii and
Herculaneum have resurrected. They
are more interesting in this numerous
feature than they are in any intrinsic
merit of their own. This fact has been
duly appreciated in Milwaukee, where
they have already established manu-
factory of Chicago relics that is doing a
larger business than Milwaukee ever
hoped to obtain.
Milwaukee may do smashing trade
in certain line of Chicago relics. They
can probably manufacture paper weights
by fusing papers Of tacks together, or
can melt Leads into a heterogeneous
mass; they can spoil old crockery by a
blow-pipe combination, and Otherwise
initiate the articles of "bigotry and vir
tue" which are supposed to be all that
is left of Chicago as it was. There are
other relics of Chicago, however, which
Milwaukee can never hope to achieve.
There are relics Of Chicago trade and
Chicago energy that Milwaukee will
never be able to initiate. Among the
rarest relics are greenbacks. For few
days subsequent to the fire, and before
the banks opened, so government
bill looked as big as a bed blanket.
After the banks opened there were
greenbacks enough, but their place Us
relics was taken by checks. A signed
and certified check was SO rarely seen
that it promised to become Us much of
curiosity as Mahlon Ogden's house or
Mr.. McCagg's conservatory, on the
North Side. Charred currency was one
of the most deceptive Of all the relics
the fire turned out The more you had
of it the less it was worth. If you sent
a thousand dollars worth of it to Wash
ington, you would be pretty sure TO get
back about seven dollars and d half
the remainder being national bank
currency which the government knows
too much to redeem.
About as uncomfortable a relic as the
fire left was safe. Unlike Mrs.
Toodles' door-plate, with the name of
Thompson, and her coffin, it is not a
handy thing to have in the house. The
suggestion for a monument of safes was,
therefore. greedily accepted by all men
who were so unfortunate as 10 be the own
ers of these iron instances Of incOn-
stancy. The only objection to this
scheme for a monument OF safes IS
that, if another great fire should come,
it would probably be among the first
things to be destroyed. If it is desira
BILE to have monument Of the great
conhagration, which shall be fire proof,
it won lC probably be surer to build it OF
par 1mache
\ good relic Of the fire is an insur-
ance policy. 1t is worth more as a relic
than it is as policy. There will also
be no difficulty in keeping it. 1t would
be the last thing on earth that anybody
would ever steal. An insurance policy
in Chicago company would be good
thing to throw in among your papers of
value 1t would be burglar-proof. If a
thief should ever come across it he
would drop the whole mass as valueless.
If Chicago insurance policy is better
for one thing than it is for another, it is
better as "a relic than it is for kindling
fire; as a rule, it is too hard and tough
to serve for the latter purpose.
Among the most dilapidated relics of
the conflagration was that numerous
anatomical specimen, usually preserved
in spirits, that is sometimes known as
hummer and sometimes as scala
wag." The fire cleaned out this class of
individuals so completely that one of
! q, l. 10, ln1 tl,S
greatest curiosity of this community.
1t might be an interesting, and GER
tainly a highly patriotic proceeding to
gather together into q museum OF the
fire Il relic from each Of the most prom
inent institutions and buildings of the
city. A few suggestions may contribute
TO give this movement some practical
shape.
From the Tribune building might be
taken that historic cockroach which
seemed to be about the only live thing
about the establishment. If something
more characteristic were desired, and
the museum building should prove to
sufficiently strong to bear ny under the
weight, one Of the editorials of chat
paper-select any one for the past four
years-would indicate something OF the
ponderosity Of the institution.
From the Times establishment there
would be so many good things to select
that it would be difficult TO hupt its
representative. 1t would be most char.
acteristic, perhaps, to select one of the
religious articles Of the Sunday edition
criticizing the worldly and proiane
course of the daily editions, or a chapter
on the horrible crime of abortion, as
practiced in this city before the fire.
In the matter of the Mail, Republican,
Post, and journal, their entire edition fol-
one day might be gathered in without
taking up any room to speak of.
The theatres would furnish some in
terestipg relics. Crosby's Opera House
might possibly contribute some blonde
wigs, good many short skirts, few
pads for the limbs, and one or two
Theodore Thomas tickets. McVicker
could spare some of the brass horns he
used to have in his orchestra. and q mo-
del for the most cosy auditorium in the
country. From Woods Museum might
be bottled one of those ancient and fish.
like smells that used TO come up from
| tho repiOns below and 1a1vis hand.