Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1871-02-02
HardShell Sermon in Arkansas.

Zert: "And when they riz up airly
in the morning, behold they were al
dead corpusses.
My brethcring and sst.ing, ] will
preach onto you this day, wind anC
weather permitiD, from the thirty sev
onth chapter nv Isiah, thirty-sixth verse
which reads as follows:
can the destroyiu angel smote in the
camp nv the Syreaus hundred and
forescore and five thousing men-and
when they riz up airly in the mornin,
behold they were all dead corpusses."
An thus it is, my beloved frens and
frenly hearers, that the destroyin an
gel stalks abroad, ready to send US to the
boneyard before NE can rise up in the
mornin and set down to breakfast. An
it is said, my frens, that roses is red
and violcts blue, but it's no use tryin to
houey tugle around the angel Gabriel
when he toots his horn for you to get
under dirt, for you'll hev to hunt your
hole then, sartin.
can when they riz airly in the morn
in, they were all dead corpusses.'
My wretched brethring and sistring,
as l was ridin along the road one day, |
seen a man settin on the top ofhis fence,
with double barrelled shotgun on his
lap, an swettin an fannin Nv hisself
with an old straw hat, an cussin the
Fourth ofJuly, an North America, and
the CONSTRUCTION, an the Supreme Court,
and the President NV the United States,
and the Bird of Liberty, and the Freed
mems buro. and the Fifteenth Amend
ment an when hearn that man a Gus
sin, an seen that big shotgun, thinks |
to myself, in the words Nv the text:
"An when they riz airly in the morn
in, behold they was all dead corpusses.
An | tole roam to wo, and sez I, my
uugodly fren, if you swear in that arc
way you'll furever an etarnalIy ruinatc
yer immortal soul, and never git nib
Bile when you go fshin." An sez he,
"You 60 to thunder, you old misbegot-
ten mistake NV creation efyou had to git
the grass out of a cotton crop with free
niggers, you'd git on stump an cuss
yourself out Nv your burned old yaller
hide"
Sez my urren fren, it cuts me to the
marrer to see you struglin in the bond,
age Nv SIM" An sez he, "my punkin-
faced customer, eff you can cline that
ar tall red oak thar an see anything iu
this ere miserable land but bondage and
crab-grass, you kin take my ole hat for
hens nest An sez l, "my hard
swearin fren, Pm ateared you'll never
git yer namein the book NV etarnal life
An sez he, III went to town last week
to register, but couldn't git site Nv the
book fur the Internal greasy niggers.'
"Oh, mistaken human !" sez [, 81 trem-
bic for your futur, fur you are on the
road leadin to perdishun." An sez he,
"You ar u cussed old liar, fur I'm on
the road eadin TO Benton"
| hove sigh, and sez |, in the lang
widge Nv my text:
An when they riz up airly in the
mornin, behold they was all dead cor
pusses."
An he says, Let EN- rise, and the
devil take 'em ALL "Oh, suflerin tel-
Ier-creetur !" seq |, "Ef you would but
sue for grace, ye might come an jine the
hevinly quirc, and be mancipated from
the shackles NV sin, and scape everas-
tin perdishin An he cooked up his
gun, an sez he, 81 had twenty-six like
ly niggers mancipated on my hands, an
eff you open your jaw-bone bout mauci-
patton to me agiu, Iii make buzzard
vttles outn your internal ole carcass
quicker'n hell could scorch rat"
My constant frens and hearers, when
| seen that wicked man a cockiu NV his
gun, | begin to feel mighty jabus an the
words Nv my text smote upon my ear: