Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1871-03-31

I ~ dentists 0f3ca is NOS Improperly
called drawing room.
syivanus Cobb, Jr., is said TO have
written seventy five miles Of printed
matter.
Professor Cunning saws mans big
toe preeludes the idea of descent from
the gorilla.
a letter 5t was s,l. lately dropped into the
''Schichagough, Ilinoyse."
Members Of he Idaho Legislature
vary the monotOny of debate by shy
| ing inkstands at each others heads.
The Postmaster OF Delavan, Wis.,
changed a 800 bill the other day TO ao-
commadate man who wanted % buy
a three-cent postage stamp
A woman went into d Kentucky
newspaper Office und asked The Drin-
ters to print her HurpcT'8 Fe7yy
lOeekiy.
A gentleman who has lived for many
years in sight IF the ocean, says Go IS
/ au undeniable fact that the vicinity of
the Q always makes hilly location
/ chilly.
| North Carolina can hardly beolasaed
as q literary COmmonweal h. TO b %
| population OF over j, ,O00. .OJO people, and
there are only about 90 newspapers
and periodicals published in the state
A dutiful son Of Detroit has killed
sixty-seven of his neighbor8' cats Co
get money to huy his mother "a Get Of
false teeth. He has made quiet
neighborhooo where once was @ howl
ing wilderness.
The Michigan State Prison conviota
are tortured by a hand-o gan, which
the warden hires man to grind. Ihey
are peCitiOnimg for the restoration OF
capital punishment.
The drum rn ior who ran away from
Chickamauga Wnen ssprUached with
cowardice, replied "I'd rather be call-
ed coward all my life, than corpse
fifteen minutes 9"
1t is suggested that woman, and not
her wrongs, should be fedreased for
that beauty, like cal estate, Us % be
valued only BY the quantity of square
feet inclOsed, seems a now Recognized
principle OF feminine faiuh.
Bismarck enjoys the reputation of
saying more witty things, with less sf-
correspondent says # him, that he is
as ready as an American, bright a.
Frenchman, and sJingiuB as a Span
lard, in his couceiUs aud epigrams.
There is a story of Paris lady who
was 50 overcome bN her appetite ua 10
eat her beloved lap-dUg. Atter hear "
meal she looked down 40 The little
Poor BijOu2' she exclaimed, "hOW
he would have enjoyed them ?"
"shall I help you to al ghJ ?" said
young gentleman, addressing a boun-
cling country girlWhO WAS preparing %
jump from "A carriage in fruut of his
office. Thank you, Bir," sWsstlY ra-
piled the girl, "buG don't smoke"
Women are the pillars that adorn
and support sOcleEys the institutions
around children; and where women
and children are provided for man
must be secure in his rights.
CREDITOR dow often must climb
three pairs of stairs before 4 get the
amount Of this iiJCls ACCOUNT DsDt-
you think 1 am going 20 rent
a place on the first floor 10 accOmno-
my credlCorsP'
People who buy "No. i" maoker
get those which when caught were
thirteen inches long from the tip OF
rhe suout TO the nULeh Of the cnudal
fin, and fat No. 2 are fat fish less bhHn
thirteen inches an length No com
prise those which are bhtrteen Inches
LONG and poor while NO. q are unoef
thirteen inches and poor.
A traveller who demanded his trunk
at Baltimore depot beto. al! otner1I
and was told by the Irish baggage
master that he must have pattence and
wait his turn, urned upon the Dag
gage-master with: you're an lmpu-
lent dog" To which he Of the trunks
-eiofned An faith ye are ulomheFi
ind it's "A great pity that, when we Two
we're made beasts, ye wa n'J an llle-
ohant so hat ye could have yer Dlaal-
id trunk under yer nose al the Time"
Not long since man walked into
lne Of the three stores Of a western
own and inquired of the proprietor AZ
he had any more brandy like The last
No cot there. and was told be had
=. Nell, J." continued the Gu toner, who
was from "A mountain town. II want %
Tell about that last pint you sold me.
went home late at night and hung
5he bottle up by the IRE place 10 Was
4 middling cold night, and when got
Ip in the morning I found the bot le
lad dropped on the hea. CD an broken
nto a thousand pieces; but," cOntiu-
led the mountaineer, with animation
the brandy was all right there &c
lung on the nail, froze solid r than
hunder !"