The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1871-08-18
How the Fool Trlcked the IIighwayman.


The English Turpins and |
French Duvals couldn't hold candle
to the Irish highwayman. But for all
his shrewdness he met his match once,
and I'll tell you how it was.
Redmond was fine, strapping, gen
tlemanly fellow, and devoted admirer
of the ladies' as where is the Irishman
that is not ot?-and what is more, a friend
to the poor, as you'll admit when tell
you that his demands for cash were
only made of those persons who could
afford to meet them, and he delighted
in forcing contributions from those who
had the names of being hard landlords
to their tenants. There was one of
this class whom Redmond never lost
an opportunity of taxing-for that was
the polite name he gave to his own rob-
berries. Every quarter day, this gen.
tleman or one Of his servants-some'
times moro than one-used to make a
journey of six or seven miles to call for
his rents and as regular as clock work,
there was Redmond OHanlan, with
some stout companions, if necessary, TO
waylay the collector as he returned
homo. Every means was used to elude
him, but to no purpose; he had spies
everywhere. and tried to get the exact
information he wanted in advance. so
one quarter day when the gentleman's
servants asked him about going for the
rents, he swore at O'Hanlan, and said
he did not sec the use of collecting
money to hand over to him.
Now this gentleman had on his estate
boy called "Jerry the Fool who
had the run of the houses, and made
fun for the family. lie had a great
conceit of himself, and when he heard
what the master said, he Immediately
asked to be allowed to 90 after the rents
for once, he declared that he would
know the way to bring them safe home.
OF course he was only laughed at but
when he represented that no harm
could come from trying, as he couldn't
| do worse than all those who had gone
before him, the master agreed TO humor
|
preparations as were necessary, chose
the worst horse in the stable-an old
hack, half blind, and three quarter.
lame-and started on his enterprise
Nothing occurred on the way. He col
lected considerable amount ofmoney
carefully disposed Of it about his per
son, and started homewards. Toward:
evening, as he was quietly jogging
along on the old hack, and was just en-
tering long lane with high hedges oi
each side, tall, fine-looking man rod
up to him on handsome roam mare.
God save you, my man !" says tn
gentleman.
"God save your honor' replied Jer
ry.
What's your name, my man ?" say
the gentleman.
"Jerry the Fool, and Pm not asham
ed oft. What's yours?"
The gentleman took no notice of thi
question. After while he says:
"That's a fine animal you're riding
jerry"
, Faith, and Pm glad your homo
likes it," says Jerry "but it isn't my
self thatd caro- to take lease Of hi
life. But he'll serve my term any way
for its not in much of hurry / al
traveling-I've only been to the villag
, beyond to collect the masters rents TO
him."
hn is NJ a
trust you with that jobn
"Arrah, why not ?" asked Jerry.
: "Why, don't yon know that Red
: mond O'Hanlan's on the road!"
Redmond O'Hanlan is it," say
} Jerry. ugh! That for Redmon
O'Hanlan I" says he swapping his fir
gers. "Faix, Jerry the Fool is mate
for dozen of the likes of him any da
in the week, and Sunday in the bal
gain"
The stranger laughed and they rod
on in silence till they came to q yer
\ lonely part of the road, when he dre'
). a brace of pistols and told Jerry TO han
4 over all the money he had about him
+ or he'd try If he had brains by sendin
Z a couple of bullets through his head.
,fl " "Meala. .murther," roared Jerry, in
# tone of surprise and fright. "Yo
don't mean to say that your honor
> Redmond O'Hanlan?
J, al do indeed. So hand over m
n man, and look sharp about it,"
d "But faix, its kilt intircly by Il
r master I'll be if / go home without I'll
r rents"
A. What's that to me? asked OLA
J. Ian.
1t Anyhow" says Jerry. 81 mu
d show them that | had murderil
ID fight for it. Perhaps your hon
u. wouldn't mind firing a shot throu
my old beaver" O'Hanlan did
laughing at the trick.
u "And now another through t
breast of my coat, and Heaven bl
'h YOU" This was done. "Now just c
~ in the skirt of it and good luck to yC
Us honor"
'e "But I've discharged both ofmy |
u tolls, and don't want the trouble
loading them again for you.'
e- "Faix l should dearly like s.
'e through the skirts it would show t
re l fought desperate. Are you sure "
UT honor hasn't another pistol in "
eh pocket that you wouldn't mind fri
,,t for poor boys sake?,'
- "Confound it! To be sure l q
~ ~ Hand over your money, or I'll beat
Va to jelly with my horse-whip."
~ "Well," says Jerry, after a good d
" of fumbling. 81 suppose, consider
ne the trouble I've had in collecting tn
od rints, your honor won't mind go
,re over the hedge after them"
cot And he thew over sack apparer
no well filled with coin. Half laughl
on half angry, the highwayman-first a
! - ing a blow at Jerry with his vi
l u,hiob ha ayntlat hu lupk inu