The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-05-13
tateEcce entricItcs az Editors.

form curious volume. Il is possible that /
other classes of men may have as many
dis, inctiye marks, bur the editor stamps
himself SO clearly 10 print that tho OBJ
server has ia him first~class opportunity |
to get at some OF his characteristics. Ell
itors, too, lead SO nervous aud exciting an
intellectual life that it is likely they real-
ly have more contradictions, whinlSicali-s
ties and oddities than men In other walks
of life. The writer has searched out a
few of their pccu)iarities, aud give them
here with the assurance that all the ex-
ampies given are genuine.
4 noticeable feature in the profession
is the names they often throw at each
other. These expressions are oftenest in
dulSed in by the Southern aud Western
press, and from them pass, in the form of
a two or three line paragraph, from
Maine to California Commencing with
thu comparatively mild expressions Of
"a Walking Nihility," ssAn Anterior
err ga Disorganizing Malignant, or
8. An Illiterate Hedge-priest," they often
get on little more steam, and come. out
with the bogus biography of a rival,
which they head .Jackassatiyeness.' or
"a Mean Swindler," g an Editorial Cor
morant,o or s.A Word About Live Car
rion.' 2 OF late, editors do not seem to
go so deeply into the business of calling
each other very wicked names, yet We
sometimes see such expressions as s.Vil>
| lainous Truck aud -Dickcr Fellows" and
| that ..Scoundrelly and Ridiculous Old
| Pudding Pan of podunkp The follow
ing Paragraph in this vein, from recent
! paper, was doubtless considered triumph
| by its writer:
1.-The mass Of condemned slum extract-
! ed from the Railroad street culvert at low
water, packed into the shape of man, and
placed in the editorial chair, amid the
] filth of the hovci in which the scavenger
sheet in the hollow is printed, is shaking
his carrion paws at purity of ladies and
! gentlemen-whoa are so far his superiors
that they would not soil their shoes by
wiping them upon his filthy carcase-be-
cause he did not get dead head tickets
| to the entertainment now held at the
] Union Hall for the suffering poor.
Is it surprising that We see lines like
these j:
ssThe season for editors to call each
other NANCY, sneaking, mongrel wheips,
has opened IL Indiana
Or, like these
"Editors are taking advantage of the
coming state election to call each othe,
by the endearing title .Crooked-necked
Old Wire- pulling Thieves aud Bas-
tards.
Sometimes the name calling takes +;
much pleasanter veln,g and by creating /
laugh, appears less disgusting in the eye
of the reading public One editor IN In
diana stated that rival who was coming
to town to start an opposition paper. wa
pretty good fellow but parted his hai.
ia tie middle Every man in the plac,
who could leave his store went to the de
pot TO see the new conner. but instead o
| seeing the spruce aud dand,fied yonn:
man they expected, they saw an eideri,,
and shabby gentleman who, as he raises
his hat 10 honor Of the crowd, they iount
to be as bald as billiard ball. Ills hal
.eas parted iu the middle aud the part
ing was four inches wide. The lnciden
created such laugh that the new pub
Usher could not stand it, SO he departed
next day for pastures new
Editors often speak of themselves III
funny way. One would think by som
| of these cx pressions that they we're mad
to fill out column. For instance
J, ..Somctimes we teel like vial of peppe
J sass, and then again like molassas jug
never like tar barrel.
Here is an example Of refreshing frank
ness which does not often occur. Th
, editor seems to have just estimate Q
his ability:
I'VE esteem ourself better on conuu
drum than philosophical paragraph.
We find here and there funny speci
men of .sthe dun direct" An editor
f always irankest when asking for none,
) This Is a gentle hint:
Money is close, but not close enoug
to reach. Nobody gets what is due them
! We doubt if even the eeyil gets hi
t dues
Here is one with little more stear
: on
s.Old fence rails wanted at this offic
: on subscription
And this is decisive enough:
j No paper next week, unless some
I thing turns up to raise SOME money!
, But Mr.. J. j. Barton, who aigns him
/ self .defunct publisher { + the Neu Era.
I at Carbondale, Ill, takes the palm Ill
presents to his ex-patrons with portrai
: exhibiting his sadly attenuated proper
t tions. and says
Il want you to liquidate I've not ha'
! a squire meal, drunk Of good whiskcy
nor decent chew Of tobacco for $
long a time tha. / have forgotten ho,
, they taste I have boarded round 5
long that my acquaintances have .shoo
me. The store-keepers sIni1e IN my fac
. when ask trust for peck Of potatoes o
, q pound of Goldfish. My wife Is CROWNS
J Icross and jaws me fearfally. My chil
dren are crying for brea.i have mad
up my mind that can't stand this sor
/, OF thing any longer. Money must have
: If you do nut shell ont BY the Is, o
T April, I'm blasted IT. don't sue you
J that's allg
On love matters and affairs which con