Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-05-24
The Involuntary sam patcn.


arose in the natural philosophy class Of
Williams College, Berkshire, Mass, ou
the question. " Why is it that Of the yari-
Gus victims carried over Niagara Falls no
trace Of the bodies has ever been found.
either in Niagara river or Lake Ontario
One student suggested that the fall 1T
self was sufficient To dash to atoms amy
body whatever anotker thought that the
weight of water could not keep the body
etIecmally down in the crauuie1 of the
abyss selow the precipice aud the idea Of
third was, that the numerous fishes ten
anting the deep pool, when favored with q
stray corpse now and then would leave
slender chance for +. coutiuueut remain
der-
The genial professor after hearing The
said that he would not advance one Of his
own. but that in humble imitation Of the
greater man. he would tell them Il = little
story" which might possibly throw ray
of hight upon the subject.
q In my early days he continued. III
was one of the teachers Ia an academy Of
Berkshire A pleasant stream flowed
past the village, and on Saturday after
noon, it was an agreeable recreation t6
walk along its banks for few miles, uutl
| could see It's hcadwater- issue from the
side OF steep hin which bounded the
prospect Crossing the stream bg a
bridge opposite the school house, I wau-
dered one h0t June afternoon up the c.t
bank for nearly two miles when ], sake. a
sudden turn, bringing the way.arar bF le<
circuitous wndisg~ within easy reach Of
my starting point.
Feeling tired, ami the stream having
been very narrow, | resolved To ford it
aud save my distance There Is water
fall at this spot, and below it broad ex-
pause of water, clear and shallow except
Immediately underneath the shoot here
the depth IS about twelve or fourteen feet.
Marching up the bank about two rods.
diycSted myself OF shoes ard stockings
which l took in my hand and prepared to
cross. -Four steps would land me on the
other side The run was scarcely foot
deep, and a slippery green moss somewhat
smothered by the current, lined the bed
iuvitingly. | threw out a good stout leg
and planted one foot on the shiny veriure.
Did | say planted ? | receiveI irstanter
lesson in dynamics on which had not
calculated, and which may save the dig
nifty and the equilibrium of future t0po-
graphical engln ers-
In the twinkling Of au eye the force off
the current had swept NE eff, and [ was
whirled down helpless as an infant to the
falls below Even in the moment of top
pHng | kept perfectly cool and never
during the accident lost presence Of mind
Fear | had none ! was a powerful
swimmer; there were no rocks. as well
knew and before reached the verre. 50
rapid are the operations OF the mind, my
course was clearly marked out As soon
as pumped into the pool, would float
to the surface, make for the saore. have
a hearty laugh at my mishap and enliv-
en- my fellow teachers with CAV recital
of my adventure on my return.
Over went very comfortably, and, that
| reached the pebbiy bottom, you may
pretty safely assume
But to my exceeding surprise [ found
that floating up, though [ was several
yards out OF the torrents reach, was quite
another affair | abandoned my stock
ings and shoes, to which | had clune In
my headlong descent, and struck out with
might and main, but to no purpose. /
could not rise | knew that [ was sound
in wind ana limb, and felt no superincum-
bent weight pressing me down | struck
out and kicked vigorously in the APPROX
ed way, but no sooner did | progress
three or four inches upward than a sort
Of magnetic attraction, gentle but irresisti-
bic, drew my toes down to their old rest
ing place.
II was an incomprehensible fix re-
doubled my efforts again and again, with
a similar result. The case was becoming
desperate. Was | really doomed to die
in this wretched hole About as pitiful
a finale for sophomore az Clarence's in
the malmsey but Ophelias slip, Schil
ler's diver in the innermost main, and
Sam Patch's unlucky jump, all crowded
upon my Imagination now preternaturally |
alert.
would have sighed, but for lack of OK /
ygen, that no friends were to stand sorrow |
ing around my dying bed, stepping with
decorous woe behind my remains, and |
shedding tears by wholesale.
Worst Of all, | imagined my chum's
lament in the rear of NV
hearse.
"Ah, poor Sam our best swimmer. to
be drowned at last like blind puppy
Visions, moreover, of muskrats gnawing |
my flesh, and ravenous pixies darting
heir long noses into the sockets of my