Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1871-06-17
An Essay onto The GockrOach.
ny Josh RILLINGE.

b1 JOSH BILLINGS
The cockroach IL a bu5 at large.
He is one of the luXuries ov civilisa'
ton.
He is easy to domestikate, yielding
gracefully to ordinary kindness, and
never deserving those who show him
proper acts of courtesy.
We are led to believe upon a cluSs
examination Ov the outward crusts ov
these fashionable iusekts, that they are
a highly successful inter-marriage be-
tween the brunette pismire and the
"drticiluS 6eUO,n or common Ameri-
kan grasshopper.
Naturalists, however, differ, which
il to be lamented, for a diversity oV
sentiment upon matters so important
to The peace ov mind and moral adj
vancement of mankind in the lump
creates distrust, and tends to sap the
subtrata ov all bug ethicks.
But let the learned and polite pull
hair az much az they please about the
ancestral claims of the cockroach, 1t IL
our buzziness and duty az bug scrutin-
i2er to show the critter up az we find
| him, without caring who hiz grand
father or grandmother aktually waz.
There IL no installing the fakt that
he is one of a numerous family aid
that hiz attachment to the home ov
hiz boyhood speaks louder than thun-
der for his atiectionate and unadul-
terated natur.
He don't leave the place he was
born o. upon the slightest proFocation,
like e.. giddy and vagrant flea, or the
feroCiou bed bug, and until death,
Tor som. lie power, the inVenshun oy
man knocks at hiz front door, he and
hiz brotAc.s and sisters may be seen
with the naked eye, ever and anon,
calmly climbing the white sugar bowl,
or running foot races between the
butter plates
How strange ii IL that man, made
out ov dirt, the cheapest material in
the market, and the most plenty,
should be so determined to rid the
world ov every living bug but himself.
/ don't doubt, if he could have hiz
own way for six years, every personal
cockroach would be knocked of from
the bosom oy the f%ootstool, and not
even pair ofthem left to repair DANA
ges with.
Such il man! .
The cockroach is born on the fust of
May and the fust oy November semi
annually, and IL ready for use in tit-
teen days from date.
They are born from an egg-four
from each egg, and consequently they
are all ov them twins. There is no
such thing in the annals of nature as a
single cockroach.
The maternal bug don't set upon the
egg as the goose doth, but leaves them
lie around loose, like a pint of split
mustard seed, and don't seem to care
a darn whether they get ripe OF not.
But | never knew a cockroach egg
fail to put in an appearance, They
are as sure to hatch out and run as
Kanada thistles or a bad kold.
The cockroach is of two colors, sor-
rel and black. They are always on
the move, and kan trot, l should say,
on q good track, and a good day, cluss
t. three ripits.
'4''ralits l3gA also declared that
.ha 80, E!N-oA hua no double teeth.
This is an Important Sakt, and ought
ter b. Ii TO- tuced u4to all the primary
schoci books OF Allerika.
BIZ the most interesting feature Of
this interesting book bugg IL the love
illness ov their natures They kant
bite nor sting, nor scratch, nor even
jaw back. They are so amiable that
l have known them to get stuck in the
butter, and lay there all day, and not
holler out for help, and actually die,
with a broken heart.
10 realize the meekness ov these I'M
complaining little fellows, let the phil
osophic mind just for one moment
compare them to the pesky flea, who
light upon man in hiz strenth and
woman in her weakness like red hot
SHOT; or to the warbling musketo, wild
from a Nurjersy cat-tail marsh, with
hiz dagger in hiz mouth, akeing for
blood or horror ov horrors! to the
midnight bed bugg, who creeps out of
q crack az lean az a shadow, and
bitches on to the bosom of beauty
like a starved leech.
Evry man has a right to pick his
playmates, but az for me, / had rather
visit knee deep among c%ockroaches
than to hear the dying embers ov a
m%uskeeter's song in the room jineing,
or to know that there waz just one
bed bugg left in the world, and he waz
waiting for mi kandle to so out and for
me to pitch into bed.
In conclusion, to show that I amt
fooling, l would be willing, if l had
tneLl, to swap ten fust-class tieas any
time for a small sized cockroach, and
if the fellow complained that / had
shaved him in the trade, l would re-
turn the cockroach and sware that we
WaZ even: