Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-30
Hints to Comik Lecturers.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

Comik lecturing il an unkommon pesky
thing to do. .5..-,ts...ss .ts. a.. =.
tiz more unsarting than the rat-ketch-
Ing dizziness az means ov grace, or az
means ov livelihood. Yti , 4Nt.gta
Most ennyboddy thinks they kan do it.
and this IL list what makes it SO bother
sum tew do.
When it IL did list enlff, it IL terifick
success, but when it IL overdid, it il Like
burnt slapjax, very impertinent. ..a.. d.
Thare amt but phew good judges ov
humor, aud they all differ about 1t. w
If lekturer trys to be phunny, he IL
like boss trying to trot backwards, pretty
apt tew trod ON himself. AZ.
Humor must fall out ov a mans mouth,
like musk out ov q bobalink, or like a
yung bird out ov its nest, when it IL
feathered enuf tew fly. s.,.,..ts 49,
Whenever a man faz made up hiz mind
that he liz a wit, then he liz mistaken with
out remedy, hut whenever the publick has
made up their minds that he haz got the
disease then he haz got ii sure.
individuals never git this thing right,
the, publick never git 1t wrong. 3i 1856
The publick never cheat themselfs, nor
other folks, when they weigh out glory.
Thare il just rs ounces In q pound ov
glory, and no more, that is, by the publick
steelyards. ,a- .,.l5 g. .f...ts- a5
Humor IL wit with a ROSTERS tail feather
stuck In it's cap, and wit IL wisdom IN
tight harness 7r.e' '
No man kan be helthy phool unless
he haz nussed at the brest ov wisdom.
Those who fail in the csmik bizzness
are them who hav bin put out to ntiss, or
bin fetched up on u bottle. oai - =
If man il a genuine humorist, he IL
superior to the bulk ov hiz aujience, and
will often times hav tew take hiz pay for
hik services in thinking 90. .I .bfs
Altho fun ia designed for the miilyun,
and ethiks for the few, it IL az true az
molasses, that most all aujiences hav their
bell wethers, people who show the others
the crack WHARF the joke comes lafhng In.
hav known popular aujiences deprived
ov all plezzire, during the recital ov a
comik lcktur, just bekauze the right man,
or the right woman, want thare tew point
| out the mellow parts. a.5 -a,
The man who liz anxious tew git before
an auiience, with what he calls comik
lektur, ought tew be put immediately in
the stocks, SO that he kant do it, for he IL
dangerous person tew git loose, and will
do sum damage. ~
Itizs very pleasant dizziness tew make
people laff, but thare IL much odds whether
they laff at ysl, or laff at tol.at yu sag.
When a man laffs at yn, he duz 1t be-
cause it makes him feel superior to you,
but when WI please him with what yu
have uttered, he admits that yu are supe,
rior tew him.
The only reazon viii q monkey alwus
krsstes scnsashun whareever he goes, is
simply bekauze-he is monkey. ,r
Everybody feels az tho they had right
tew criticize comik lektur, and most ov
them do it list az q mule criticizes things,
by shutting up both eys and letting drive
with biz two behind leggs. a. sam -.
Humor haz but phew rules tew be
judged by, and they are 30 delikate that
none but the most delikate kan define
them. ..a4a Lac ti.d
1t is dredful arbitrary tew ask a man
tew laff who don't feel Fitch ov it. Ft-
One ov the meanest things in the cOmik
lektring employment that q man haz TO
do, liz tew try and make that large class Ov
hiz aujience laff whom the Lord never in
tended should laff "
There is sum who laG az eazy and az
natral az the birds do, but most Ov man.
kind, laf like a hand organ if yu expect
tew git lively tune out Ov it yu hav got
tew grind for it. p
/ In dpliveringa conik iektur 1t IL good
general rule to stop sudden, sometime be-
fore WI git through. This enable the au-
fence, il they hav had cnuf tew be salts
fed with what they hav had, and if they
want emmy more, it enables them tew
banker for it, ifl@ 7fh5 si@9k ~"
/" know it il dredfal tuf, when man IL
ON one end ov stick ov molassiss handy,
tsw quit till he gifts clean through; but he
mustn't forgit that hiz aujience may not be
so sweet on molassiss handy az be IL. ~
hav got q very lonesum opinyun Ov
the the comik lektring. dizziness, and if /
waZ well shut Oy il, and knu how to git
a honest living at ennything else Except
opening klatns and keeping districkt
skooll would quit tommorrow, and either
trade oph mi lex tar for . grtnust0ne, or
sell IL 70 the proprietors oy sum insane
hospital, TO quiet their pasliunts with.
y j. don't urge emmy body tew cultivate the
comik lektrisg. but If they, feel phull oy
something, they kant tell what, that bites,
and makes them feel ridiklous. 80 that
they kant even saw wood without lafibg
tew ihernselts all the time, suppose they
hav got the fun ailment in their bones,
and bad better YET II leak out IN the shape
Ov q lektur. /,
Butt sdvise all such persons TO pity
themselfs. and when they lay q warm joke,
not ,tew akt az q hen DOH when she haz
uttered an egg. but look sorry, and let cum
one else do Tie cackling. 942h y
,s If had . boy who showed emmy strong
marks, Oy being o cOmik ecritter, II. !
couldn't get 1t out oy him emmy other
WY, 4 would jine him to the Shakers, and
make HIM weed onions for three years,
jastfof fun. --Aes, Yes,kaWIfkly. ri sev 4
"A farmer, near Carthage City. Mo,
hsssbeeni detected poisoning horses, aud
fkSen l,fferi10stn crre Il KEN THn ,busisUE