Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-04-06
Breyities and i,eyitieS.

Ng. A Portland man has sued his barber
for cutting off his mustache. The barber said
he didn't see it. Several similar casualties
are likely to occur here.
h@The /" Heather Chinee' settled in AL
ALBANIA are very dcferential. They never fail
to say "goo by" as they lumber out OF
church while service is going on.
hgThe Chicago Times naively remarks
that'itcost Upton, Indiana man, thirty
eight dollsts and eighty-fve cents t. pronle-
made the bouleyards of that metropolis atti-
red only in a.chew of tobacco.
sscA boy in Detroit has killed sixty-sev-
en- of Ills neighbors cats to get money to buy
his mother set of false teeth. He has made
Il quiet Observation-Disclosures once was howl
ing wilderness.
@A Drawing Master, worrying his pu-
pill with contenlptuous remarks upon his
lack of ability, ended by asking; " Now, slr.
if you were going to draw me, what part OF
me would YOU commence with tirstY The
boy, with meaning look into the masters's
face, answered, very quietly, Your neck,
sir"
BE- The Petersburg Lder reads a long
lecture in leading article on the subject OF
shoe-strings, with thepurpose ofprovlng that
ladies waste in the aggregate few million
hours every day in lacing their boots-time
which might be saved by wearing CATERS with
elastics.
@ Two Columbus hens have made re-
putation by laying one hundred and SIX eggs
Since Christmas. The proprietor Of these
fowls thinks they will soon be "all settin." :"
saS Greeley wrote something about Su-
burban journalism Advancing" The conf
positor thought it was one OF his agrlcultur-
al articles, and launched out wildly on Su-
perb Jerusalem Artichokes.
Hp A citizen of Boston who recently died,
bcqueathcd an estate Of S3,OOO,00O to his
heirs, Ly will of not over eleven lines.
pS4 It is said that in London child is
born every five minutes. And they think
that is worth Dragging about Why, IN this
country we have known two to be born IN
minute
nsS A pompous individual walked up to
the office of the Stockton House Cape May,
one day last week, and with considerable
flourish signed the book, and exclaimed, +" I'm
Lieutenant Governor d" "Ihat don t
makeanv difference" says the polite clerk,
"you will be treated Just as well as the
others"
ka~A lady in Chicago says, Take my
advice, We Young maidens contemplating mat
rimony Never marry man who is lmpu-
dent to mis- mother, snubs his sister, helps
himself to the biggest piece of cake, or beats
his horse causelessly in a fltof temper"
Ms~ Many great men hayesaid many fool
ish thing and among them we may class
Voltaire's .emark that. s.gsthe more married
men,yyou have the fewer crimes there w-iltbe. >
According to that logic Utah ought tofhee
parailise, SINCE the nlenare there more mar
riedp than in any otherlocallty. -
Esa A few DAYS since Waterbury Conn.
lawyer returned to the railroad ticket agent al
! that place$l. oyerpaid him in making change
For moment the agent stood speechless
then, as the tears poureddow his cheeks, nc
grasped him by the hand and exclaimed
n Please stand one moment, sir, and let me
look ut vou-and lawyer, tool
rs- A Prominent dry goods merchant o
Boston worked half an hour on the follow
ing proposition, and failed to give the an
swer: If fourt teen men build a stone wal
in nine days, how long will it take five mel
to build like wall in six days%
Marrying woman for her beauty il
like eating a nightingale for its singing -5 r.
s8 A reverend gentleman was ad
dressing a School concert recently, ant