South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1871-10-06


My friend, | suppose l am wanted
10 attend an inquest-or what is your pur-
pose p
mo, doctor the man amt dead yet
Anything in the surgical way p
| was police surgeon as well as coroner.
'No.'
We'll, then, why am / sent for at this
time of nightr
Don't bother, Perfesser; the man amt
dead yet; but they say be will be before
morning.
Are doctors attending him p
oh, he's in good hands, Perfesser.'
whats the matter with him p
well, said the official, 'some folks saw
hes got so much knowledge into him that
be can't live under it,
Cerebral disorder, eh p
'Whatp asked the man.
brain disorder, mean something wrong
here
l touched my forehead, and so did he, as
he said
AYE; and | thought I'd drop in and tell
you II you was going to the station to-mor-
row to take look and see if it's post-mor-
tenn or not. Besides, | wanted to see
where L could always fud you in case of
need
bowed and attributed his visit to feel
ing of curiosity. He sat on the sink, one
rubbered foot over the other, and wiped
his nose with dirty handkerchief several
times, while his eyes wandered about like
christopher Columbus after discoveries
Finally he spoke, like one who thought
himself called on to say something.
'Perfesser, there has been an accident
this afternoon terrible, too
'Ah !! said l.
'Alful " said he
what was it p
'Nitro-glyccrine explosion up in the
iron mills hundred fellow mortals bust
ed"
'Sad =
affecting, very Hore he rubbed his
mouth with the back of his hand. 'Per-
lesser, what is that nitro'glycerine 2
It is very dangerous article / an
swered, happy to display my knowledge
1T has nearly twice the destructiveness of
gunpowder, but, unlike it, does not explode
on the application of heat. A red hot coal
dropped into it will not explode it, 1t will
freeze it is yellow and greasy. It's sylla-
bles in our nomenclature are &c, H5, (No.
81 3, O6'
you don't mean to say so = said the Of
fcer in disagrecable tones in the very mid
die of choice extract from one Of my lee
lures why, but you hain't told me bow
1t does 90 off IF fire won't bust it, what
n--(hem) -willT
] told him if it were pressed or anything
fell on it it would explode
'PIace it under the crusher of cider.
mill, strike it with hammer, let a weight
fall on it from height
Yes said the man, sand that rouses its
volcaner, does it ? How does it come, Per
lesser p
On little cans-why like these, said l,
discovering that there was little can of il
on the marble sink, which had carelessly
neglected to place in the cellar. l then
took little Of the glycerine and spread IL
on an anvil, struck it with hammer A
slight explosion aud fame burst from the
paper.
No, really said the policeman, starting
back q suppose, Perfesser, that the can
would make mighty noise if allowed to
explode IN mere all at once !!
'lt would blow the entire building to at
oms,' said resuming the analysis Of Mrs.
JOhnson's stomach.
mo = heard the policeman remark, 10
deliberate yankee tones:
You don't say SOP
The next moment / lay on my back,
gag IN my mouth, terribly frightened aud
sick at heart. Over me stood the police
man, and the FIRST thing that functionary
did was-looking me straight in the face
to take of bis nose He then rid himself
OF his rcd ye-brows, hair, cap, and became
a determined looking fellow, with the eyes
OF fiend, and the nose Of a Roman
80 you think, said the metamorphosod,
IN the tones Of n gentleman, that nothing
can save Joe johnson from the rope Poor
fellow . It docs look like IT, But, my dear
Professor, Joe johnson is fortunate enough
to have in me a devoted friend, as we'll
brother. I have undertaken 10 save him.
and be shall be saved To ordor 10 this
end IL will be necessary to remove from
The face Of the earth not only the stomach
OF bis miserable wife yonder, but also, my
dear Professor-I'm sorry 10 be Obliged to
say ", for ! believe you we're my brothers
teacher and friend-yourself as we'll.
saw that be was in deadly earnest.
Your death must apparently result from
accidental least 30 it must seem 10 the
authorities. Ny brother is in Jail, and
they will not suspect him, and they certain
~ will not suspect me-
What terrible deed was bis brain hatch
ing! Was be going to murder me 2 The
hard'earned knowledge Of a score Of years
] rrr51lI t---- .s--- g