The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-02-25
A Marriage Ceremony.


.F - 2 E. .esr e# 81 - Hs ~ E#..-
A jolly fellow, somewhere in Illinois, hav.
ing been appointed Justice of the Peace,
was called upon to perform marriage GER
emony, and thus relates how he managed it:
Having been appointed to the desirable
'Posish' of Justice Of the Peace, was ac-
costed on the 18th day of July last by
sleek looking young man, and in silvery
tone ne requested me 80 proceed to a neigh
boring hotel, as he wished to enter into the
holy bonds of matrimoBy. Here was a
| 'squelcher.' had never done anything of
the kind, and had no books or forms yet
was determined to do the thing mp strong,
and in legal manner; so l proceeded to
the hotel, bearing in my arms one copy of
the revised statutes, one ditto Webster's un-
abridged dictionary, one copy of large-sized
Bible, small copy of the creed and articles
of faith of the Congregational Church, one
copy of POpe's Essay on Man, a sectional
map of the locality where the victim lived,
and bottle of Mrs. Winslows Soothing
Syrup. Having placed a table in the mid,
die of the room and seated myself behind it,
l, in trumpet tones, called the case. With
that the young man and woman, with great
alacrity, stepped up before me. Having
sworn them on the dictionary to answer
well and truly all the questions was about
to ask, 1 proceeded. I told the young man
that being an entire stranger, should have
him to give bail for the cost. Having heard
this SO frequently in courts of justice
thought it Indispensable. He answered if
[ meant the fee for performing the ceremony
he would deposit it then and there AsI
did not exactly know what I did mean,
magnanimously waved that portion of the
ceremony. told him it would be necessary
to give bail to keep the peace. This he
said he was willing to do when he arrived
at home, and | then waived that point also.
Having established to my satisfaction that
they wanted to get married, and that they
were old enough to enter into that state, I
proceeded TO tie the knot Iasked him if ne
was willing to take that woman to be his
wife. He said he was. told him l did not
require haste in the answer-that he might
reflect a few minutes if he wished l told
hEAA SAo AOOASN 44ho q AHS gAEIi duu Adu no
doubt she was, but if the sequel proved she
had been taken in, ! did not want to be held
responsible. said he must honor, love,
and obey her as long as she lived. He must
not be 'snappy' around the house, nor spit
tobacco juice on the floor, all of which he
promised faithfully to heed. Now, said l,
Georgiana, cher name was Georgiana), you
hear what Alexander says. Do you accept
the invitation to become his wife-will you
be lenient toward his faults, and cherish his
virtues-win you never be guilty of throw
ing furniture at bis head for slight offences,
and will you get three meals day without
grumbling2 She said she would. l asked
them if they believed in the commandments,
and they answered they did. Having read
the creed and the articles of faith, as afore-
said, exclaimed: Alexander, take her,
she is yours. l cannot withhold my consent
Georgiana, when safe in the arms of your
Alexander,you can defy the SCOTS and jeers
of the world / then read little from the
Essay on Man, including that passage
Man wants but little here below, but wants
that little long As finale to the scene l
delivered the following exodium: Go in
peace, and sin no more The generous
Humphrey having placed fifty cent check
in my unwilling palm, l gave the bottle of
Soothing Syrup to the bride, and bade the
happy pair adieu.' r -5 r. -a