Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1871-02-24
1unrt tut 0ult,utisf5

hunor of the Irish no one who sees
them on their native soil can doubt.
They are the only peasantry in Europe
who can lay any claim to qualities
that are usually reckoned intellectu-
al. They have more of the mental
attributes of Shakspeare's clowns
the least natural of his wonderful
creations-than any living mo tails
unblest of education. The English,
Scotch. German, Italian, and even
French peasants are the veriest clods
in comparison with the Irish. who say
bright and sharp things without effort
or generalization. Their ready wit
and power of reparte are extraordina-
~, and improve as one journeys to-
wards the south. | have frequently
heard scintillations from ''gorsoons"
and pOrters and cardrivers that would
have been applaudcd i'll the Academy
and have created envy in the most
exclusive drawing-r0Oms. They new
err lack for word or a phrase, and
have a verbal knaci of getting out OF
a quandary peculiarly their own. as
{ respects both the knack and the guam
dairy. 1t is a common saw over there
that an Irishman has the privilege OF
! speaking twice; and | can see the JUS
tice of it. He first makes a blunder.
as if by design, and then renders the
! blunder bright by illuminating it with
4 joke
remember colloquy like this in
Sackvile Street between an English
tourist and d. car-driver:
Il say, Pat, what are those fig
ures up thcre?'
'An' shure, yer honor, thim's the
twilve apos' les"
Twelve apostles, indeed. Why,
there aft only four -
''Och now, We wouldn't have thin
I'll out at once. would We? flats
The posht-oflice. and the rist is inside,
yer honor, sortin' letthers."
Driving through County Wicklow. |
and commenting on what seemed to
be the irregularity of the Ii ila-stoncs,
my cnrman remarked:
'.Be corrah. an they're not nile
stones at all at all. THIS i Il grave
yard Of the Niles family. an there
was so many Of thin. We see, they
hadn't names for thin all, an so
t " Numbered thin, an buried thin
they could find a GOOD
spot" And his eve twinb lingly in
luircd if the conceit were not good
for a drink of wri>kcy at the
dr>t haIti! g-place
Giving bar-mail a crown at Lin
beric for mug Of ale. tie price of
WI ch Was bu, thr.C- u >, she smiled
a over her fee. aud said:
An may yer worship nirer want
Tor a pound until | give ye the oh :nge
md | wish We sich luck that | know
ye wouldn't be afther askin' for :.
,inay of it -
Annoyed by a strapping girl, who
insisted on acting as guide at the GAP
If punIoc. gave her a shilling or
condition that size would follow NE
no further. Before | had gone anoth-
mile she reappeared. when | remind
ed her of her promi-e.
will" she replied, Il losht the
Shilliu' that We was so good as to give
l poor curl the likes y me; and
t ,ght I'd come back to see if We
.iadI't lust fnuud it -
OF ccu-sc | han 'ei her another.
With the words, ''Gou know. Norah,
Won are not telling the truth. but this
iime you must k-e? yonr word"
An viii We make poor CURL who
losht her heart to ye confess in yer
virry face that she's run two mile,
over desc rough rocks to oft another
| Ok at yer han som eyes =
y potter at a Galawgy hotel had
with much trouble prevented an
trunk from going to Bel
fast instead of Queenstown, and the
,wner rewarded him with a sovereign
The sl!rewd fellow held Tie coin RAJ
-urouslv in his hand few moment.
md then said to the gentleman.
''lIayn't We ! it of o. shilver about
,el Ye wouldn't have me shpendin'
The likes of this bayutablc gould 70
rink yer health wild? Give me Q
,hillin'. yer honor. and I'll kape this
TO remember We by"
In the valley of GIendalough a nc-
i've, peering cut from one of the
'uins of the tiny Seven Churches. &C
;osted a guide with. 'D.nnis, e
come here Il inllin' tn y was sayi!.'
mass this morning."
Il might have behaved so, We spa'- Z
'een, If [ hadn't sane the divil look
n ont of the windy"
''What makes your horse so slow?
ask d one cay in the Glen of tn, l
Down o! ny Celtic Jehu.
les out OF RESPECT to the be1u,i-
ii sanery, yer honor; he ants We g.
ee it ali A. thin he's IN in ell
,ent haste. and appraciates are.
ar wants to kape the likes
; We in be.p,cd 9ulI ireland as long
: he kin Prem Pictures f old
by JUNIUS HENRI BROWNE,
I HoTer' Jiogazine for March.
JOSH BILLINGS PEAYERs 70
Coon LORD DELIVER Us From
many friends, and from things lat
use ends.
From a wife who deant luv MS. and
rom children who doaat look like us.
From ix in the grass. from snaix &
II our butes, from torch lite process d
ions, aud from all new rum
Fromwealth without charitee, from
ride without sense. from pedigree i
worn out. and from all relations.
From nusepaper sells, and from pills
hat amt phisik, from females that
a int. and from men who fiatter. g
From, virtune without fraoTanCe