Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-10-22
A MELTING STORY.
How a vermonter Punished Butter
Thief.

How a VermOnter Punished Butter
Thief.
One winter evening country storekeeper
in the Green Mountain State was about
closing up for the night, and while standing
in the snow outside, putting up the window
shutters, saw through the glass lounging,
worthless fellow within, grab pound of
fresh butter from the shelf and conceal it
in his hat. ..
The act was no sooner detected than the
revenge was hit upon, and very few
minutes found the Green Mountain store
keeper at once indulging hisappetite for fun
to the fullest extent, and paying OH the
thief with a facetious sort of torture, for
which he would have gained premium
from the old Inquisition.
al say, Seth" said the stOekeeper, com
ing in and closing the door after him, slap
ping his hand over his shoulders and stamp
ping the snow off his feet.
Seth had his hand on the door, his hat on
his head, and the roll of butter in his hat,
anxious to make his exit as soon as posi-
Bile. -....---.--. .------.-.
81 say, Seth, sit down; | reckon now on
such cold night as this little something
warm would not hurt fellow"
Seth felt very uncertain; he had the but
ter and was exceedingly anxious to be of,
but the temptation of something warm sad
" interfered with his resolution to go. This
hesitation was settled by the owner Of the
butter taking Seth by the shoulders and
planting him in a seat close to the stove,
where he was in such a manner cornered
in by the boxes and barrels that,
while the grocer stood before him, there
was no possibility of getting out, and
right in this very place, sure enough,
the storekeeper sat down.
"Seth, Wen have a little warm Santa
Cruz said the Green Mountain grocer ;
so be opened the stove door, and stuffed in
as many sticks as the place would admit :;
"without it you'd freeze going such a night
as this"
Seth already felt the butter settling down
closer to his hair, and he jumped up, de-
claring he must go.
"Not till you have something warm,
Seth; Seth, come, I've got story TO tell
YOU" and Seth was again rushed into his
seat by his cunning tormentor.
tsOhl it's so hot here" said the petty
thief, attempting to rise.
"Sit down-don't be in such hurry"
retorted the grocer, pushing him back into
his chair.
.But I've got the COWS to fodder, and the
wood to split, must be going" said the
prosecuted chap.
.But you mustn't tear yourself away,
Seth, in this manner. Sit down, let the
cows take care of themselves, and keep
yourself easy; you appear to be a little
fidgety," said the rogueish grocer with a
wicked leer.
The next thing was the production of
two smoking glasses of hot tOddy, the very
sight of which, in Seth's present situation,
would have made the hair stand erect upon
his head had it not been well oiled and kept
down by the butter.
"Seth, l will give you a toast, now, and
you can butter it yourself" said the grocer,
with an air of such consumate simplicity, that
poor Seth, believed himself unsuspected.
Seth, here's-here's Christmas goose, well
roasted, ell? | tell you it's the greatest
in creation. And, Seth, don't you never
use hogs fat, or common cooking butter to
haste it with; come take your butter-I
mean, Seth, take your tOddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke, as well as
melt, and his mouth was Theoretically sealed
up, as though he had been born dumb.
Streak after streak of butter came pouring
.
was already soaked with the greasy over
flow. Talking away, as if nothing was the
matter, the fun-loving grocer kept stufing
wood into the stove, While poor Seth sat
upright, with his back against the counter,
and his knees touching the red hot furnace
before.
"Cold night, this" said the grocer.
''Why, Seth, you seem to perspire as if you
were warm? Why don't you take your
hat off? Here, let me put your hat away"
NO" exclaimed poor Seth, at last. "No,
| must go, let me cut, | amt well let me
/ 60
A greasy catal act was now pouring down
the poor mans face and neck, and soaking
into his clothes, and trucking down his
body into his boots, so he was literally in a
| perfect bath of oil.
well, good night, Seth" said the hum
orous Nermonter ''if you will go;" and
adding, as he started out of the door, Il say,
Seth, reckon the fun have had out of
you is worth ninepence, so l shan't charge
/ you for that pound of butter in your hat. y
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