The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1871-09-07

THE CONQUEST OF AMERICA.
4 STARTLING STORY.

scenes which OCCurfeu fdI@ Tile titnc VI
whichtthe story tells. The English sa-
tire, THE Battle Of Dorking, supplied
the suggestion for this prophetic tale.
We do not think any one will enjoy
the ridiculous humbuggery of the arti-
clesmore than Mr.. Greeley. 1t is a
strong satire upon the. usual style in
which Mr.. Greeley is criticised by his
fellow editors: ~ ~
"You ask me to tell you, my children,
of the events which Immediately pre-
coded the destruction of the once great
American Union and the capture Of the
country by It's present rulers, and to
say something, also, of the causes
which led to these deplorable results.
| undertake the task with a heavy
heart, for whenever | revert to that
terrible time | cannot help contrasting
our proud condition up to that fatal
year With the 'humiliating position oc-
cupied now by the American people.
The story is short one. In the fall OF
1872 Horace Greeley, the editor of a
newspaper in New York, was elected
President of the United States. The
people voted for him because they be-
ieved him to be an honest man. And
so he was. But he was also vain and
weak, and he entertained certain fanat-
ical and preposterous otions-about
agricultural matters, for instance
which he was determined to force up
on. the people at all hazards and des-
pite all opposition. He believed, among
other things, that every man ought to go
to the West to earn his bread, and
long before he was chosen President
he used to advise everybody to remove
to that region as cure for all the dis
asters which could befall the human
family. .-......
Gas soon as he reached the execu-
tive mansion, which we used TO call
the White House, President Greeley
organized an army of two hundred
thousand men, and proceeded toforce the
entire population of the seaboard
States westward at the point Of the
bayonet. The utmost violence was
used. Those who resisted were shot
down, and their dead bodies were cart
ed off to a-Hational factory, which the,
President had established for making
some kind of fantastical fertilizer. All
the large cities of the Fast were de-
populated, and the towns were entirely
empty. The army swept before it.
millions Of men, women and children,
until the. vast plains west of Kansas
were reached, when the pursuit ceased,
and the army was drawn upin con-
tinuous line, with orders to shoot any
person whoattempted to visit the East.
Of course hundreds of thousands of
these poor creatures persisted from star
walton. This seemed to BRIGHTEN Pres
ident Greeley, and he sent a message
t" Congress recommending that seven
hundred thousand volumes. of book
of his, entitled, What | Know About
Farming should be voted for the re-
lief of the starving sufferers. This
was done, and farming implements and
seed were supplied; and then the mil
lions of wretched ,outeasts made an
effort to till the ground Of the result
of this | will speak further on.
4 g"In the meantime the President was
doing infinite harm to the country, III
another way. His handwriting was
SO fearfully and wonderfully bad that
no living man could read it. And So,
when he sent his first annual message
toCpngress-the document was devoted
wholly to the tariff and to agriculture
"a sentence appeared which subse-
quently was ascertained to be, Large
cultivation Of rutabagas and beans is
the only hope of the American nation,
| am sure The printer, not being
able to interpret this, put it in the fol-
lowing form, in which, form it went
forth to the world: THE Gar of Rus
STA couldn't q keep clean if he washed
himself in the whole Atlantic Ocean
once a5'day ! This perversion of the
message was immediately telegraphed
to Russia by the Russian minister, and
the Gar was SO indignant that he ill.,
stantly declared war. just at this
time President Greeley undertook to
write some letters to Prince Bismarck
on the subject Of potato-rot, and, after
giving his singular views at great
length, he concluded with the state |