Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-08
FACETlE.


Nei gain, as the spider said when he
caught the fly.
He wooed, and she wouldn't. She
cooed; but he couldn't.
Alaska is we'll defended: there is a
shiver dc freeze all around 1t.
A western editor reports money CLOSE,
but not close enough to be reached
The divorce suit is the name of the
most stylish travelling dress in Chicago.
The choir sang Come, ye disconso-
late at recent wedding in Lafay cite
Ind.
Why are birds melancholy in the
morning! Because their little bills are
ali over dew! -
Stages run so slow in some parts of
Vermont that the chickens roost on the
axles.
One of the most successful planters in
Wisconsin is widow who has just buried
her sixth husband.
Why do girls kiss each other and men
do not? Because girls have nothing bet
ter to kiss, and men have.
Widows have been compared to green
wood, which, while it is burning on one
side, is weeping on the other.
Cold nights have put stop to gate
sparkling. If she don't ask you to come
in now, you had better quit.
If hole made in a wall by a cannon
ball is called breach, would two such
holes make a pair Of breeches.
Don't love two girls at once. Love is
n good thing; but it is Ike butter; it
won't Do to have too much on hand at
one time.
A white boy asked young negro
what he had such short nose for: Il
'specks SO it won't poke itself into other
peoples business
A Sunday school meeting out West
chose a committee Of ladies and gentle
men to raise children for the Sab bath
school.
Never put of till to morrow what you
can do to day. said a mother to her son.
Well then. ma, let's eat the berry pie in
the cup board
A clergyman at the bed Of q sick man
said, Have you made your peace with
Col to which the sick man replied, Il
never had any difficulty with him.
Tsacher.-'Why was Joseph put into
the PITT Thomas (who goes to the
theatre on week days because there
was no room for him in the family circle
A sharp young woman says there is
nothing more touching in this lie than TO
see a poor but virtuous young man
struggling with weak moustache.
A drunken man, sprawling on the
ground in Paterson the other night, anx
iously wanted to know whether anybody
else had been struck ty that earthquake
A cynic says of suffrage: % wondrous
system of extricating the wisdom of the
people by counting their getting
the hidden essence cor popul; from thirty
millions Of people-mostly foosp
Clara (who is looking at a miliner's
window) Aren't they handsome? Susie
(whose thoughts are across the street y
Yes; especially the one with the mus
tache.
Ike aronant, Mr.. GIaisher, has made
a curious discovery. Iu his aerial voy
ages he has noticed that the voice of
woman is audible at the height of about
two miles, while a mans voice has never
been heard higher THAI milel
Did l understand you to say said a
lawyer, cross-examlning witness, that
your son worked ON this farm ever since
he was born g--'Yes, STRIP lease to
state what he dill his first year. He
MIXED, SIR
At wedding recently when the offic-
ating priest asked the lady. Wilt thou
have this man to be thy welded hus
band 2 she dropped the prettiest courtesy,
and, with a modesty which leut her beau.
ty an additional grace, replied: If you
please
A female fraud in Boston has been
following an Episcopal bishop through
bis diocese, and getting confirmed every
time she had chance. She was finally
detected, and claimed that she had it q
peated on her because Mrs. Jones said it
was death on "rheumatiz.
High frolick ram 7 said Mrs. Parting
ton, dear a me! and be makes his water
run up hill: if DR.. Garlick had one 10
bis flock, be would OF be pumping for
them always" And the good old lady's
face frightened in thaukfulness that the
Master had given her more care for her
neigbbor than for herself.
In illustrating the fruits of advertising,
an exchange says: "A family in Florida
lost their little boy and advertised for him
in daily paper. That very afternoon
an alligator crawled up out of swamp
and died on the front doorstep. 10 his
stomach was found handful of red hair,
some bone buttons, pair of boot-hsels,
glass alley, pair of check pants, and
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