The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1871-06-03
A Chapter on Noses.
BY sLAwENBERGIUs, JR.

WI ilNi dhSCSlOly Aiio vi
Strasburg, and my maternal an
ceStor, Lavater, of Switzerland,
the nose has occupied the atten-
ton of fine men of mark in our
family. In old times, as well as
at the present, we have ever been
remarkable for that distinguishing
feature of nobility, the high arch
ed Roman nose. Bulwer has no.
ticed this popularity in the British
mobiles, which he derives from
their Norman ancestry. The fact
of the distinguishing feature is
acknowledged, but the derivation
thereof is denied. Don't the world
know that the Normans are repre-
sented quite differently in the
great picture of them by the Monk
of Dion; wherein RoHo and his
Norlnans are doing homage to
the King of France, the part of
which act of homage represented,
being the tumbling of tire French
King from the throne by Rollo as
he rose from his kneeling posture.
In this picture | say, taken by ex-
press order of the French King,
ROllo and his Normans are repre-
sented with turnuppy noses, and.
snubbed at that. See how science.
can come to the aid of history |!
The great painter is undoubtedly
correct in his delineation. Have
not Morrissey, the Benicia boy,
and all the pugilists got snubs 2
And why 500 Because of the Pc
cniiar effect of fighting with fists
and clubs. Barbarians fight this
way; barbarians have snuhs, and
Role and his NoTmans were bar
barians in every sense of the word.
But. by main strength and awk-
wardn, IS they oolquered for them
selves a portion of France; for
weapons, they quit the club and
took up the lance, and mark the
change that occurred in the physi
ognomy of their descendants.
Stick pin here. Let me show
you now the Greeks. We have
yet remaining statues, in marble
and bronze, of many of this an
Gent nation, and we find. that
their noses were neither snubbed,
turned up nor turned down, but
were just of the sort that nature
would make if left free, viz: per-
fectIy strait on top. just the length
of the forehead and slightly swell
ing in the middle. Now why was
this! Clearly because they fought
with swords and spears, and had
not contracted certain vicious
habit of some other nations, which
l shall mention presently. As to
the origin of the white race, have
a theory quite different from any
ever before put forth. This theory
is that they first originated in that
part OF Prussia, on the Rhine, /
called Westphalia. L can prove
it by history, etymology and geol.
Ogy, but at present you must take
my word for it. They We're all of
the snub and turn up class, for the |
reasons | have mentioned before. |
Their language was the classic !
Low Dutch. From this point the |
white race spread in every way. |
Some took the route to the south
east. and through that parversity
inherent in man, forgot most off
their Dutch, and adopted that
jargon called Greek.
But in another way, viz:in fight
ng, they improved, and as a con-
sequence, kind.nature built up for
them her chef GoenUre, the Greek
nose. In Greece this race built
themselves ships and transported |
colonies to Palestine and Egypt.
where they increased and multi.
.lplled, and made for themselves
that outrageous invention that
has ever since married the s.human
torm divine If Egypt and Phe-
1lcIa has given us iron and letters,
ret, can we ever forgive them for
on us the handkerchief. |
Us miserable Slawenbergians!-
Condemned for all time to 90
through the world with Turkish |
scylnetars for nosesi But happy
ne, in another particular, for / |
nave discovered the great cause
Tor this great wo! Watt and |
Morse's fame must pale before
mine, for l will perfect the human
up to the classic
models of Cecropia. The world
IAN see now how the Egyptians
and Jews have distorted their
noses by eternally pulling them
INTO hawks bills with handker-
chiefs, and swelling ont the ends