South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-06-09
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


TOILERs OF THE SEE-Opticians.
VEGETALE PHnosoPHY-Sagea advice.
A PRECIOUS VoLUME-A bank book.
LIGHT EMPLoYALENT-Buildi castles
in the air.
IT is more diffiult to manage riches well
than to acquire them
A HARD CAsE-The house the poor
snail is compelled to live in.
A CoFIsH breakfast and an India-rubber
coat will keep man dry all day.
In the height of prosperity prepare for
adversely, by insuring in the Mutual Life,
of Chicago.
IT is suggested that the first piece of
music performed by Adam must have
been warblings at Eve"
FORESIGHT is the right eye of Provi-
dence, and Providence dictates Life In
surance. Insure in the Washington.
THE epicurean who made dessert of
the fruits of an enterprise picked his
teeth with the point of joke.
THE only mandatory of hairpins in
the United States turns out fifty tons of
those useful articles per month.
AT what time of life may a man be said
to belong to the vegetable kingdom?
When long experience has made him
sage. r.r
SCENE IN CHICAGo.-"Is Mrs. Smith at
homer" mo; but walk in. She has Just
stepped out to get a divorce, and will be
back in in few moments"
A sHoDDY woman, who returned from
Europe with some paintings, was asked if
they were landscapes. She said, No,
over one-half of them are microscopes"
"WHY don't you take your seat at thu
barr" asked lawyer ofa client, the other
day. I" My father always advised me to
keep out of bad company" replied the
other. -
THE family of Mr. Ansel Cannon, of
New Vineyard, Me-, consisting of twelve
sons and four daughters, weighs 3,140
pounds. The boys average 195 and the
girls 200 pounds.
"MY DEAR" said husband to his wife,
" I'm going to start a coffee plantation"
" How'll you get the land?" "Oh, there's
no trouble about that; l always have
plenty of coffee grounds in my cup"
& CONVICT in the Windsor, vt, State
prison has recently constructed box one
foot in length, six inches wide and five
inches deep, composed of $500 pieces, his
only tool being jack-knife.
A NEW JERSEY inventor has fixed up
way of dressing linen thread to initiate
natural hair so perfectly that 1t is almost
impossible to detect it as artificial. When
our ladies have their heads shod with this
material, no matter what the color may be
they will all be haxen haired.
TAILEYRAND used to be worried about
his autograph, and to one of his persecut-
ors he thus wrote: "Will you Oblige nc
with your company to dinner on Wednes-
day next, at s o'clock? | have invited a
number of exceedingly clever persons, and
do not like to be the only fool of the lot"
A MAN, praising porter, said it was SO
excellent beverage, that it always made
him fat at have seen the time" said
another, "when it made you lean" "When,
l should like to know? ?" said the eulOgist.
"Why no longer ago than last night,
against the wall" ....
A FRENCHSIAN at Sheldon, vt, who
left the employ of the railroad company
because OF the danger to his life, and COM
meneed working from house to house, was
instantly killed few days after, by frag-
ment of a log exploded by powder, in a lot
adjoining that in which he was saving
wood. He leaves a wife and two children.
THE entire population of Ohio, accord
ing to the recent census, is 2,655,012, and
of this number 2O29,7 752 are native born,
and 81, $50 foreign born There are p
sol, ,735 white persons in the State. and
So, ,267 colOred persons, including Indians
One man is returned as Chinaman, nam
ed Daniel Webster, born in Alabama.
GONG TO PRoPosE.-
He went up town to-day, girls,
With very business arr
He'd oiled up his mustache, girls,
And parted well his hair;
Something's in the wind, girls,
Whichever way it blows;
And I'll tell You what 1t Is, girls
He's going to propose.
Sometimes he's confidential,
And says Maria's fair,
And praises Bessies hazel eyes,
And Jennieis flowing hair;
SAYS Alice is angelic, too,
Admires Lucfnda's nose;
Iknew how it would end, girls
He's going to propose.
THERE is said to be man 81 years old,
low living in Chester County, Pa, who
las been blind since he was seven years
I'D, and who can find his home among the
rees on Welsh Mountain at any time
Without aid from anyone; who can pass
rom one place to another for distance of
our or five miles in his own neighbor-
Iood knows the different residences of
ne uclSuDOTS dS SOOu u uc dppIOGCuCS
hem; knows the voices of his acquaint-
noes, and in many instances their foot
teps; can tell different kinds of timber;
lake shaking fork, broom, or axe-handle;
an hang an axe, and can chop wood, and
Then done with his days work viii hide
is axe, and return to the woods on the
blowing day and find it.
AMERICAN NEwsPAPERs.-Col. John
Y. Forney said, at a dinner given in his
onor: "In 1870 we count fifty-five hun
red news periodicals of all degrees, with
probable annual circulation of not less
nan seven hundred and twenty-five mil
ons. OF those, four hundred and seven
T-five are dailies, circulating nearly two
lillions of copies every twenty-tour
ours, one hundred and sixty are agricul-
lral journals, circulating over half mil
on; and about three hundred religious
eriodicals, circulating over two and
alf million of copies of each edition-an
ypregate. without counting our monthly
lerature, larger than the rest of the civil
ed world. In fifty years, when our pOpu-
ton shall have attained, on the present
ito of increase, to one hundred and fifty
illions, the boy of seventeen to-day will
i've far different story to tell"