Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-11-23
Miscellaneous.

Vermont taxes IA, 81 dogs.
Home Rule "-Petticoat govern
ment
Cash Advanccs-Attention to a rich
widow
Doing heavy business-the iron
dealers.
"A druggist is not appropriately
termed the chief piler of society.
Of all the State debts, Virginia'S is
the largest and Oregon's the least.
San Francisco, Cal, had II murders,
81 suicides and % fatal accidents last
year.
When is a ship like a scarf-pin? When
1t is on the bosom of heavy swell
To become the lion of party, it is
not necessary to make Il beast of ones
self
The man who popped the question by
" starlight" got his sweethcsrt's consent
| in "A twinkling.
great conthgration at Chicago, said !:
"That sort Of thing must be chequed."
What would.a pig do who wished to
build himself a habitation Tie knot in
his tail, and call it a pigs-tie.
On the departure of Bishop Selwyn
for his diocese in New Zealand, Sydney
Smith took leave Of him az follows :
"GOod-by, my dear Selwyn hope you
will not disagree with the man who eats
you"
One of the many remarkable exhibit
tons Of charity elected by the Chicago
calamity was that of the convicts of the
Massachusetts Pententiary, who sent
| 5000 to the general relief fund.
| Dickens Fagin is outdone by rascal
whom the Cincinnati police have Just
| discovered Among other proofs of his
guilt there were found in his house books
| for the instruction of novices in the art Of
burglary.
- You here, Jenkins How the deuce
did you find your way out 2" Find my
way out :? Out of where What do YOU
mean ~ why, the last / saw of YOU,
you were lost in slumber" "Oh, oh; well.
| rode out on nightmare
Indians have a nice sense of Justice.
Joe, "A Pi-ute doctor, was stoned to
death by his tribe because he failed to
cure two sick Indians. If similar fate
were visited upon equally guilty white
medicine men, people would live longer
Jane Anderson, of Danville, VT, sued
Robert Scott for breach of promise, lay
ing damages at $40, which exactly covered
the cost OF lights and fuel she had pro-
vded for the fruitless courtship, and the
Judge granted the full amount
--"Gve me pound of oysters" said a
man to an oyster vender who was going
by. sell by measure, not by weight, !"
said the oysterman. Then give me a
yard of them" said the man. The ovs.
terman shook his head obviously and
passed on.
"A meeting of the travelling public is
to be called, for the purpose of Furnishing
the baggage smashcrs of the railways. 1t
is thought that nitro-glycerne put into
every second trunk, and exploding when
the trunk is not carefully handled will
remedy the evil
"A Lowell grocer has a sagacIous doc
who never sees half barrel of flour
weighed out on the scales but he goes and
puts one foot on the platform, carelessly
looking'out Of the door to avoid exciting
suspicion. That foot weighs about TWEEN.
ty-fiye pounds
"A well-known man of the Pacific
coast, whose wealth is counted by millions
see 7" A phonographer who reported his
testimony once by actual count, ascertained
that he used this expression 1856 times in
one morning."
"A Mr. Homer went into bankruptcy.
and some unfeeling lawyer thus explained
it:
That Homer should bankrupt be
Is not so very Odd dive see
II IT be true, as I'm instructed.
That Ill he.had his books conducted.
This is fair variation on the old anec.
dote where one man says, "Homer's Odd
] see" and the other answers, "Homer's
III, add"
The Postmaster at North BENNINGTON
VT, was somewhat embarrassed the Other
day on being asked by lady if there was
letter for my cow Being disposed 10
treat her politely, he replied that there
was nothing for anybody's COW. The lady
being equally embarrassed, and also djs.