The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-03-08
The sIkeetIng Rink.

We live in age nv Progris. The Werld
muves. Things liz not yistiddy what things
wuz tomorrer. The Wild Gooce moshun IL
very pritty moshun, and we ar goinge Nv it.
Change IL writ on everything, cepp in TIE
pokkits NV Suthern peplc. Ar weller day
The sweets Mellerday etsetry.
When | were knee high to hoppergrass,
thot skeetin wuz slidin on friz mud puddil,
and when | were bout 10 year old and my Pa
had bought me new lo-crown black silk hat,
went to spend my Xmas at Mr.. Kobb's that
livd near Forris deep o in Bedfud. Me and
Mutton and. Jon Gordin went together, and
they wuz bigger'n me, and we all had to walk
10 mile and it snowd tell the snow got up to
my po little knees. Mutton and Jon had longer
legs than me, and l put my hankcher on my
new hat and it got wet enyway, and wuz so
tired aud the snow wuz SO deep and could'n
keep up and they would'n wait for me, and
cried and | cried, / members 1t to this day.
1t were mean in them boys to do po lttil me in
that ar way.
But we got thar at last, and nice house it
were, l tel you. MIR. Jefferson he bilt it.
And Mr.. Kobbs and all ov um treated US SO
nice. We injoyed ourselfs powful, for boys Nv
our aige-played "chickamy, chickamy, crany
crow" and that II war good honiss ole
Xmas. .frezin wether. The day befo we all left
for Lynchbug thar come skift Nv snow that
made our skeetin pond sicker'n ever. Thar
war levil groun to take good runnin start on
and Mutton and me jest slid-skeetin we calld
it-like we never would stop. Dinner time
come, Mutton, he says,
"Mozs, less GO"
"Jest one mo skeet, Nuton," says.
."Better not--cum along"
/ felt wuz goin to be hert, but somethin in
me would'n let me stop, and as it was going to
be my last, determined to take buster.
run as hard as | could, skit as hard as could,
my foot struck bump and doun | cum right
on my brow-a Tremendous fall-for boy NV
my aige.
/ wuz so certin that my ball were knocked
out that actilly felt bout the ice for 1t, but
not fndin it, got up belewrin wuss'n did the
day | wakt thro the snow, and Mutton he hit
me up, blind as a bat, and karrid me to the
house. soon got well.
They put a peece nv kourt plaster on my
brow and wore it for nigh three months-a
boy at Mr.. VIM. Reeds skule tellin me that if
took it off till it rottid off my branes would
come out. But they wuz tuff brsnes and
don't think they would Nv done it. Enyhow,
when at last did get that kourt plaster off
said in my heart that wouldn' skeet no mo.
But, bless you! We live in world Nv
change. l got older and skeeted much, on
irun skeets. But my legs that wuz unanimus
as the Simeez twins got diffrunt minds and
divorsed theresef one from another very wide
and painful, and my kote tails fell yilently in
luv with the HARDEST hartid ice they could find,
and had to bore holes in my heels with
toes freezed, and l broke into ar holes, and
perception NV general wetness and bad
feelin come over me, and L swO wouldn skeet
en- ice no more. And amt.
But bless you We live in a aige of Pro-
girls, and things Pregris with amazin rapidity.
Now, sir, you kin skeet with perfeck cumfut,
in a mise warm room, not on ice, but on the
floor, and you skeet not on irun skeets but on
,eheels In fact your feet is set on two nice
little drays, only them drays amt got no wagun
tung, nor no swinge trees, but your feet
is stropt down to um like to ordinary skeets--
and away you go a curlin and wavin and u
swaggin from side to side grasefut and
swift as berd- throo the ar. | consider it the
greetest invenchun of the aige. And what is
mo to the pint, you skeet in a whoppin big
bildin, with ladies holdin you by the hand
and pepul admirin Nv you and praisin yore
movements and the luvly Ggger NV yore boldly,
and you thinkin all the time that yore moshuns
is prittier moshuns lhan eny boldly elsis mo-
shuns.
The big bildin-thar's one Nv 'em in Rich.
mon on St, reglar Noah's ark No. 2-is
called Rink, and in that Rink they has Ker-
nevels. | has bin to two Nv these Kerneves-
which thot it wuz teun Nv Vennits playd
on fddl-but it amt. and it bangs the tails
that is tole Nv the days Nv ole Nv Farey
Land and the Gum Erabbic Nights Entertain
ment for Man aud Beest--for all eens NV the
erth is met together thar, both Berds and
BeeStS ana the Devils Nv He'll In great yerlety,
and Ranger Taugers and Sailer Boys, Niggers,
Lords and Ladies, Dutch, Irish and PoIes-not
hoop poles nor fisbin poles-but Poles men,
and Gerls NV menny kines, luvly to behole, all
drest up in forrin kostumes, and all on skeets,
rushin 2 and like a whirlwinduv humanity
run mad Lord knowsl what are we a comm
to? And all with skeets on thar feet and skeer
faces on thar faces! The roar nv the Rink
skeeters is as the roar menny waters, and
the effect the eyes Nv yore he'd is very
popping mighty nigh bad as that time /
fell down on the ice at Mr.. Kobbses.
But It is Extremely intrestin-being cheap
way to study Jogrify and Theology cumbned.
| seen man thar with white hat longer'n o
stage horn. | seen chicken rooster 8 foot
high on skeets. l dunno what | did'n see
But the prittiest thing wuz a ltti angel girl,
bout 8 year old, with real wings that skeeted
roun and roun by her lone littil self in the
sweetest way.
Skeeting Rink exercize is good for all ages,
sizes and sexis-speshly the ladies' 1t devel-
lups um, and this ar Age of Development.
Also Age Nv Progris, a. I'm lookin for the
day when we'll not only skeet, but eat, drink,
sleep, swim and be merry on wheels. All
things will be on wheels and Wen all die on
wheels.
Ching a lingering, ring-rink!
The world it goes roun upon wheels
My grsndmother's tung wuz so long
1t tript up my grandfather's heesl
MozIs ADDUMs.