The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-03-04
Jim Wolf and the Tom Cat.
MARK TwAIN's MAsTERPIEcE-A FUNNY ACCOUNT OF
A TRAGICAL AFFAIR.

MARX TwAIN,S AASTERPIECE-A FUNNY AccooNf We
a TRAGIcAL AFFAIR.
I new by the sympathetic glow upon his baid
head knew by the thoughtful look upon ms
face-I knew by the emotional Hush upon tne
strawberry on the end of the old free-ilver nose
that Simon Wbeeler's memory was busy WIth inc
olden times. And SO | prepared to leave because
all these were symptoms of q remlnlscence-siSns
that he was going to be delivered OF announcer u
his tiresome personal experiences but WasEeoo
sIoy be got the start of me-. As nearly as can
recollect the infection was coughed in the follow
ing manner.
we were all boys then, and didn't care for
nothing. and didn't worry about nothing, only 10
shirk school and keep up a revlvln state OF u
yilIment at the time. This yah Jim Wolf L was
talking about was the prentice, and he was the
bes:-hearted Teller, he was, and the most forgiven
and oneseifsh l ever see-well, there couldn t
have beer a butler boy than he was take MN
how YOU would, and sorry enough was then
when / saw him for the last time.
Me and Harry was always Fostering him and
F mastering boss bills upon his back, and putting
humble bees in his bed, and SO on, and sometimes
we'd crowd in and punk with him, notwlthstand-
ing his growing, and we'd let onto get mad ana
fight across him, so as to keep him stirred up
like. He was nineteen he was long, lank and
bashful: and we were fifteen and sixteen, toler-
able worthless and lazy. Z -
So that night, you know, that my sister Mary
gave a candy pullin' they started us of to bed
/ early, 50 tudb tLC NOhHhhy NOhh0 hoNO u 6N 1bS
and we run into Jim to have some fun
Our window looked out into the roof of the ell,
and about ten O'Clock a couple of old tom-cat got
to rarin' and chargin' about it, and carrying on
like sin. There was four inches of snow on the
roof, and it was frozen SO that there was a right
smart crust of ice on it, and the moon was shin
ing bright, and We could see them cats like day.
light. First they'd stand off and e-you-pow-wow,
just as if they were cussin' one another, you
know, and bow up their backs and push up their
tails, and swell around and spit, and then all of
a sudden the gray cat he'd snatch a handful of
fur out of the yaller, eats ham, and spin him.
round like the button on a barn door. But the
yaller cat was game, and he'd come and clinch,
and the way they would gouge and bite and howl,
and the way the'd make the fur fly was powerful.
Well, Jim, he got disguised with this row,
lowed he'd climb out there and shake 'em of"n
the roof. He hadn't RELY no notion of dOin' it,
but We eyerlastingly logged him and bullyragged
him, and lowed he'd always Dragged how he
would not take a dare and SO on, till bimby he
histed up the winder, and 10 and behold you, he
went-went exactly as he was, with nothing on
but bis shirt, and it was short. But you ought
to have seen him creepiH' over the ice and diggin,
his toenails to keep from slippin'; and above all
you ought to have seen that shirt-tail happin' in
the wind, and those ridiculous shanks of his
glistening in the moonshine.
Them company folks were down there under
the caves the whole squad of them, under that
III OtSa Va jim " OCNAh " 1(OFf0A IA
settin' round about two dozen sassars of hot
candy, which they'd sot in the snow to cool. And
they was laughin and talkin' lively, but bless
you, they knew nothing about the panorama that
was going on over their heads. Well Jim he
went a sneakin' unbeknown to them tom-eats-
they were q swishin' their tails and yow-yow-in'
and threatenin' to clinch, you know, and not
payin' any atttention-he went a sneakin' right
to the comb of the roof till he was within a foot
and a half of them, and then all of a sudden he
made a grab for the yaller cat But by gosh, he
missed fire and slipped, his heels few up, and he
Topped on his back, and he went off the roof
like a dart went a slasbin' and a smashin' and
a crashin' down through them old rusty vines
and landed in the centre of them comp'ny people
sat down like a yearthquake in them two dozen
sassers of red hot candy. and let on a howl that
was bark from the tombsi Them gals, well they
looked, you know. They see he wasn't dressed
for company and so they left. All done in a
second. 1t was just one little war-whoopand a
whish of their dresses, and blame the wench
of'm was in sight anywhere.
Jim, he was a sight. He was gormed with
that bilin' hot molasses candy clean down to his
heels, and had more busted sassers hangin' to him
than if he was an injun princess-and he came a
prancin' upstairs, just a hoopin' and a cussin,'
and every Jump be made he shed some china, and
every squifIn he fetched he dropped some candy.
And blistered! Why, bless your soul, that
poor creature couldn' RELY set down for as much
as four weeks.