The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-11-16
TALES OUT OF SCHOOL.

Ed. TRIBUNE. -Shebygan Gossip came
home as proud as an urchin in red-topped
boots, and made several wonderful little
declarations, nent only for our private
ear, else We would favor you with them.
1t said nothing detrimental of you-good
TRIBUNE-but we promised ''pon honor"
not to tell !; SO we must hold the bag fast
or puss will expose in spite of US.
Halloween has lately passed over our
head, and We must not be expected to
write with our usual fuency: the night
when the witches and COLLINS are about
on their baneful midnight errands, and all
the wonderful aerial people hold grand
anniversary on terra 1frma. OF course
| we tried all the rules in the old maids
| creed to, catch glimpse of a wonderful
Somebody we have not yet sufficient
ly recovered from the numerous 'scares"
we have received in the 'spooky' darkness
nor from our terrible disappointments to
enable us to canvass the subject with any
degree of complacency. We cannot but
own that our dreadful backward march
into the cellar was fraught with no other
result than bumped head and couple
of very undignifed incIinations nor that
the only visaee which our mirror reflect
ed, as we tramblingly awaited revela-
ton, was the fatherly countenance Of an
old rat viewing US with surprised eyes
over the edge of the potato-binl All,
| we'll; ''alLis well hat ends we'll !" say
the prophets.
The laying of gas mains in our city ha s
| been the cause Of several missteps among
the night promenaders. A devoted pair
returning from a late party on an intense
ly shady night, made some deep. and
rather startling researches into the exca
vations along their way. We learn that
their love for mineralogy is somewhat on
a decrease. They declare such street
blockades a public nuisance, and wish
their early remoral. mistakes will
happen in the best of families |"
A young man attended one of our
church tea-drinkings lately. with a de-
cideGly coming appetite thereupon
creaky-voiced old maid pronounced him
possessed of certain porcinc qualities
rather disturbing the young mans equi-
librium Of mind. The young man con-
siders "church socials" bore, and an
infiction on a community. In the case
of the maiden in question. we think the
sharp edges Of her tongue need dulling.
A first class scissor grinder would not be
loser by applying for the situation
| Moral young men, always partake unspar
ingly in the culinary department before
making your appearance at church
society. Ancient maids remember this :
''men are only boys grown tall!''
Sheboygan has had an elopement in
''high life'' lately. Now. we don't in
tend to be proud over this requirement
in the annals Of our quiet neighborhood,
but it is impossible for US not to feel
little Gifted. The occurance was so ro-
mantle Running away in an open bug
gy, with the rain pouring down like
hydrant with the faucet turned, does not
happen every day. you know. Different
individuals have different ideas in regard
to matrimony some like one way and
sumo like others, and (wiH some one
kindly hold the smelling bottle to Mrs.
Grundy's nose, the dear old lady is so
easily effected y this being free country,
the why and wherefore are forgone con-
illusions.
The thread of our verbosity" is now
snapped asunder, forbearing reader. Yet,
ere We are quite forgotten, we hope to
get the two ends tied together as good as
ever. BROOKS.