The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-02-17


this purp0se:-The goddess had heard Of one
Arachne, young virgin, very famous for spinning
and Psas inding herself almost equailed II her
own a5t stnpg win rage and envy, knoched her
spin and weave forever, or her own bo wels aud
in a very narrow compass. i confess that from
boy ns % o GO could
cruel and unjust n sentence ;syhichs yh9wavar, is
fully executed upon us by England, with further adj
our SUSS TESr s2a S5 Se
liberty Of spinning and weaving bhem.g gnof1 a9g on
y7ss1JcE .a-5i7F1r -z---'-T 'oy OF s9iaa, hob
THE GAY "WORLD!y-ro,,bsA sol
From the NJ Y zgibtstG - Fsst
/ There is paper published IN this oeityi
which is Joy 20 any we'll regsated mind.
There is always to be Found in its columns So
serene and dubeonscious an eShibitioHsof un21
ruffied complacency, such handy and limited,
stock Iof tnsisinforhBtiob; that you are sure
thefe1is never the slightest room for doubt or
hesitation in what it does. itself thefavorto
consider it's mentxbd proeessesi sIu} social
mattersg especially, itdeliyers itshttle judg-l
ments and sdicta with o tranqail and chirrup-
jng grace that goes far to convince its read
ers that in following it's precepts' lies the
peaceful translation to the heaven of nobbiA,
ness, while the slightest transgression will
land them in the sloughs of stabool ssdf ss1ot
This haloyon conceit this delicious uneon-7
sciopsness of the ipaptitqde Of its ,artless,
pIattle, seems to be transmissible quality,
and not, like free tickets on O railway train,
'forfeited if transferred. On the contrary,
the soul of the central Office is most brill
liantly illustrated in some of its correspon-
dents, who have gone SO far from Park row
as to have forgotten the letter of their in
structions which kilieth, and have retained
only the spirit which lgiveth life. 1t is the
profound conviction of this class Of journals
that diplomacy is principally o matter Of
baberdashery and gastroromiy, and our spe-
cial favorite has evidently sent one of its
most trusted collaborateurs to Washington
to pluck the heart out Of the diplomatic mys-
tefies that make that city so interesting,
by cautious approaches through the kitchen
and lathdry. The first results OF his in
trepid labors are now before us. ID It will
be seen that he does not as yet presume to
deduce any profound international IsigniEsi
canoe of portent from the discoveries he has
made about the influential kitche n-rauge os
distinguished personage; but, like a difident
young Augur of old, has contented himself
with tearing outin bulk the entrails of divina-
tion-the indispensable means of casting the
political horoscope-an has thrown them
smoking and hot upon the editorial table of
the high priest, who, robed in his sacrifcial
choker and coat, which copy respectively
the swan in whiteness and the swallow
in tail, may now be supposed to be en-
gagged In the thrilling rite of reading ths rid
die of the future in the curling vapor. 27ad'9
The special envoy s report begins with the
ambiguous statement that "two or three din
ners day are eaten in Washington" Does
this mean that our civil service is SO enor-
mously overpaid that all the dwellers in the
Federal City are driven to these frightful
outrages upon their gastric apparatus for the
purpose of keeping their expenses up to
their income? Or does it signify that din
ners are SO rare among the worlds people
that two or three day in town of hun
dred thousand inhabitants seem like the eli
max of luxury? Either way, it is case for
Mr.. Bergh. But the considerate crea-
ture spares us the. description of all
of them, with the exception of one,
which took place at q certain legation, to
which he gives a wellknown name. We
take the liberty of disbelieving this, as the
style and pomp of this prsndial festivity has
long been unknown to civilized nations. It
is our belief that the parsonage indicated is
the ambassador of the King Of Thule, who is
described to us as true unto his grave, and
| We are glad to know he likes it SO we'll
dinners a la Russo" says the bold dis
coverer, "are world wide in their reputation,
but how they are managed and in what they
differ from other State dinners is not gene
rally made public. Undeterred by any con-
siderations of prudence, he proceeds to tear
the vail from this hitherto impenetrsble mys-
terry, and to show in what, particulars these
deeply significant Thnlian symposia differ
from the ordinary repasts of society. .1Ia,s
He now enters into series of the most ex-
| traordinary disclosures He informs us, in a
| manner that would carry conviction with ii
we're it not for the inherent improbability of
the facts reported, that at these portentous
| festivals ''the dinner is served in courses; "
| ssfruit and flowers ornament the table, and
| miracle of organization y s.are ready when
| the guests appear. "Seats are assigned each
| guest by the host, who has prearranged (what
| a head y, the order in which places sha all
be taken. The host escorts the lady of
| greatest rank; (this is comprehensive, but
| See what becomes of madame a3the lady of
the house is escorted by the first gentleman
present. So that If an sattache Of Legation
| 1.-The smallest expression of gen.
tlenan @ known % to- Dsisscienoe -
should ring the Thulescan door-bell five
seconds before General Grant, he would
march to the sdHe-a-mahger with My Lady,
and leave the general to find his way alone.
! But now comes q statement so astounding
that ii the Tribune feared anything We would
1 fear to copy it.. He says that at these scenes
4 of more than Lucullus-like magnifcenee
napkins are used. He feebly endeavors 10
! give an air of probability TO this evident and
! impossible fiction by explaining the use of
this unknown implement. ''These napkins
are folded across the-lap, and thoroughly Y
protect every one from spots of grease. y
This is ingenious and Defoe-ish in its vrai.
semblance, but there are limits to the most
childlike faith, and no average eredulity eau
digest those napkins. The able special has
buried his talent in those napkins S.fs-
After this opening OF wonder and glamour,
/ he cT1h rafh hap no mn