The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-11-04

| In the space of twenty-five wears We have
heard twenty-five men. more or less, make sue.
cessful dinuer.table speeches. Of these, ten
were sensible men who entertained their com.
ranions by trying to talk like fools; ten were
fools who were equally entertaining in their en-.
deavor to talk like sensible men fve-the only
persons of the number who enjoyed the eminence
| and the exereise-were drunk, and neither knew
nor cared whether they talked sense or nonsense.
AS rule, the successful dinner-tahls orator is a
sha!iow man-one whose thoughts are on the
surface, whose vocabulary is small and at quick
cohiinand, and whose lack of any earnest pur-
pose In life leaves him free to talk upon trifies.
we All remember what earnest, strong, logical
speeches Abraham Lincoln used TO make, when
ne stood before the people IN the advocacy OF
the great principles and u great cause; and We
remember, too, with pain, how tame AID child
ish and awkward he was when he appeared be-
iore them to acknowledge compliment or to
say something which should be nothing. Ir-
spired by great purpose, he could do pnythus ;
with nothing to say, he could say nothing. 1t
Is thus with the great majority of our best men
There Is nothing in which they succeed so poor
~ as in diEner-table speech, and there is moth
ing which they dread much The antcipa-
ton OF II is torture to them the performance is
usually failure. At last, they learn to shun
dinner-tables, and to tell weak lies in apology
tor their nOn.attendance.
There is something very absurd in the submis.
sion OF 80 many men to this custom of speech
making. There is never u public dinner, or a
dinner which may possibly merge into formality
OF toast and talk, without its overhanging cloud
OF dread. There il probably not one man pres.
ent, from him who expects to be called upon for
speech to him who is afraid that the demand
will at last reach him, who would not paw a
handsome price to be out of the room and its
dangers. To multtudes of men, the viands of
feast are gall and bitterness through this haunt.
ing dread Of the moment when, with bellies full
and brains empty, they shall find themselves on
their feet, making frantic endeavor to saw
something that shall bring down tho fork han.
dies, and give them leave to subside.
Why dinner.table should be chosen as an or.
atorlcal theSter, we cannot imagine. There
could not be selected moment more ineuspi.
clous for happy speech than that in which all
the nervous energy centers itself upon digestion.
A man cannot have even happy dream under
such circumstances. Dancing the sailors horn.
pipe with dumb.bells IN ones coat pockets is no.
advisable, and it is possible that it is not advisa
BILE under any circumstances. It is very rare
that dinner party prefers to sit and listen to
interm'nable speeches, for it is almost as hard to
listen as to talk when the stomach is full of the
heavy food of feast. Nothing but stimulating
drink loosens the tongue under such circum.
stances, or puts company into that sensitiyelv
appreciatlve mood which responds to buucombe
and bathos. The drinking which is resorted
to for making these occasions endurable, is often
shameful, and always demoralizing. Not goo.
thing ever comes Of it ALL nobody enjoys it,
speakers and hearers dislike it, and still the GUS
tom is continued. 1t is like the grand dress
parties, which nobody likes, yet which all at.
tend aud all give, to the infinite boring of them.
selves and their friends
lie dscourtesies often visited upon GENTLE
f~en at public dinner parties, deserve an earnest
protest. Men are called to their feet not only
against their known wishes but against pledges, |
ana compelled to speech that is absolute torture
TO them. The boobies who thus distress modes,
and sensitive men ought to be kicked ont of so.
ciety No one has right to give an innocent
man pain by compelling him to make of himself
d Pnniic spectacle, or suMmoniUg him to q task
that is unspeakably distasteful TO him. No man |
ought ever to be called upon at such place. tx. |
cept with his full consent previously obi .iEed. |
and lie who forces modest man to a task like |
this in the presence of society, fails in the court
'sy OF gentleman. The truth is that no din
, 1er Is pleasant unless it be eatirely Informal
L he moment i. takes formal chsracte or its
lie as social occasion is departed and those
VINO foster the custom of speech.makiny drive
rom their society multitudes of men who would
'e glad to meet them-whose presence would
ave them pleasure and Go them good. Let us
lave done with this foolishness.-D7. Il. & TEL.
ma, IN Scrijner's far Nocen6e,.