Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1871-09-08
THE B.sTTLB WITH DIRT.

Miss Phelps speaks with much force in a
Ivy women on dress. But there is some
thing still more pathetic in the perpetual
battle with dirt waged by many house
keeper. The people who fall in war are as
nothing to those who fall in this conflict.
Others fight with some hope of peace.
They will conquer or be conquered. But the
over-nice housekeeper has no hope Of vic
tory where she can rest on her laurels and
she has no thought of giving up the strug
gle except with her life. When she falls, it
will be with a face to the foe.
1t is not exactly vanity that makes one of
your frightfully good housekeepers. It's
in the grain-the thorough hatred to dirt.
When floors shine and tableware Is brill
liant, when flies have been starved and
darkened out of every room, when every
speck and particle of dust has been abolish
ed, the good woman cannot rest. She
scents the battle from afar. She knows
that her old foe is not yet vanquished.
Through some crevice, by somo crack,
through the agency of some child, dog, cat,
man, or other abominable animal, dirt
will reach her again. And so she stands
armed cap-a-pic with BROOM brush, dust
pan, mop, soap, hot water, and what not,
and with her forlorn hope of cooks, cham
bcrmalds, washerwomen, house cleaners,
and chimney-sweeps trembling at her back,
ready at a moments notice to attack the ap-
preaching foe. in whatsoever unexpected
quarter he may make his appearance.
1t is blessed thing that dirt is so persist
ont. For these ovor-nice people could not
bo happy if the enemy were ever vanquish-
cd. Dirt is the only consolation they have.
Their idea of supreme happiness is realized
when they have jus: descended, in terrible
wrath, with a swift and sudden swoop,
upon newly-discovered spot or speck, and
have swept it--into the dust-pan. No eat
ever rejoiced 50 much over demolished
rat no eagle ever descended with eagerness
so sublime upon his prey. There is a
swiltness, a tremulous directncss in the
tread of neat housewife in the pursuit of
Il bit of dirt, that is delightful and terrible to
see.
But look out for yourself. Politeness re-
strains the tongue, but nothing can restrain
the eyes. Have you not talked fluently
with Mrs. Brush until, all at once, you de-
tected her eyes examining your boots {?
She was calculating the chances of the fall
ing of that piece of mud upon her carpet.
You should have used the door mat more
carefully. You would give twenty dollars
But now you know that when Mrs. Brush
sweeps that dirt from the carpet, she will
mentally sweep you from her catalogue OF
gentlemen.
Cleanliness is next to eodliness. Re
me ember that word nert. For if some peo-
pie were half as careful of their souls as
they are oftheir table cloths, their salvation
W would be assured. This irightiul vice of
over nicely is decimating the women of the
country. And what becomes of them when
they die? For, if they should 70 to heav-
en-, they will not be happy unless they can
scrub the windows and if they dwell in
-purgatory, they will want to rcnovate the
place.
We shall not hurt the feelings of single
reader by these remarks. For, like other
monomaniacs, good housekeepers are un-
conscious of their malady. II am not one
Of your painful ousekeepers, you know"
said one of these to us the other day my
daughter Emma is" week later, Emma
said: "Now mamma is one of your pain
full housekeepers. / can not hold candle
to her. suppose, if some philanthropist
should establish an "Asylum for Monoma-
MACS on the Dirt Question" that few
housewives would feel their need of its be-
nevolcnt provisions.-Hedrh and Home.