The Lincoln County herald., 1871-11-09
FINWEL FAXON'S CAMPAIGN.
BY ERSKINE NJ. HAMILTON.
rConcluded from last wcek.l


We have heard the question asked,
What will become Of tho cartmen, team.
sters, and draymen, when the army over
coats are all worn out?' And we sup
pose the horror Of those persons at such
possible contingency was fully equalcd
by the horror of the lst Elderbush Vol.
unteers, upon hearing General Grauder-
vack's announcement. BY none more
than our nervous, peppery, frind-Mr
Faxon.
Every man will uniform himself" he
muttcred, as his light boot heels clat-
tered over the side walk toward home.
How in Sam Hill are We goin to uni.
form ourselves, when no one on US has got
q coat that looks alike? Does General
Grandervack think we keep IN expository
of army unifoi III in the town p
There being no one to answer these
important questions, Mr.. Faxon was
obliged to be conteut with none and he
walked rapidly on till he came to his
store. Mrs. Faxon reconnoitered him
carefully through the key hole, to make
sure she should entertain no rebel una
wares, then opening the door, allowed
her llege lord to enter.
"Well Faxon," she said, as she again
closed the door, you've been gone a
right smart of time-long enough to
have captured and hung ten John Nor.
gans. What have ys been doin ?"
"a pesky sight, Samantha" and Mr..
Faxou went on aud told Of the meeting,
the speech, etc., ETC., and wound up with
o general anathema on the subjects OF
uniforms. Mrs. Faxon listened until Ee
had finished, and then said:
"Well, l 'spose when the General
spoke of uniforms, ho meant 20 should be
perked up sorter military like, didn't he ?
so the rebels could see at glance you
was no citizen but q reg'l soldiers"
II 'spose so," answered Faxou, rather
doubtfully.
"Then III fix ye in short order, and
the grass shan't grow under my feet
puther."
The worthy lady was as good as her
word, and from hidden recesses of the
attic, soon produced several articles of
"military" aspect indeed. The first Of
these was on old blue coat adorned with
ponderous brass buttons, the shoulders
being hidden with gilt epaulets Of over
whelming proportions. Mrs. Fsxon next
brought forth a csp-and such cap
1t was Of old time style, that might have
graced the head Of some gigantic grena-
dier or major. was OF bear skin, tall and
heavy, with surmount in front Of huge
cockads of red and whito. The coat was
too large, and the cap inclined to fall
down over Mr.. Faxon's ears but by ju-
dicious efforts, Mrs. Faxon, who perhaps
was not as experienced critic of military
dress az Frederick the Great-declared
at last, che looked jist like General Wash
ington." May be he did. In the way
Of ornament, Mr.. Faxou bethought hin
of a sabre his grandfather had formerly
used at yearly muster" and which hi
and his wife concluded would put fin
ishiug touch to his attire and it did.
With coat upon bis back, and cap o,
his head, and sabre forming on entanglini
alliance with legs-Mr. Faxon surveyed
himself in the mirror. That he looked
like the "Father Of his Country" per
haps might be doubted. That he resem
bled all the fathers Of oil countries aucien
and modsrn-we have no doubt Of that
In truth, NJ. Faxon was not great.
pleased with tho appearance he made
yet the request to appear in uniform, AM
the peril involved to be Without, to
gethcr with the lavish praises Of his wife
to whose uupracticed eye he really di'
look military like-reconciled him to hi
fate. The most important item Of hi
outfit, however, had not yet been pro
cured q horse. Mr.. Faxon had YER!
prudently resolved to join the cavalry
rejecting that in case Of retreat, be coul'
get away much faster on horseback tha