Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1871-06-29
Wit aud HumOr.

mamma, how shall | know they are fiat
terers unless | listen to them ~
A Troy editor lately returned tail
or's bill with the following memo ran
dun on the margin: ''Your manuscript
is respectfully declined
A LADY remarked on n very ignorant
lnan, who was compEmeuted on his
good sense, "He ought to have a great
stock of good sense, for he never spends
any"
WANrEp-a cover for bare suspicion,
veil from the face of nature, buttons
for breaches Of privilege, binding for
volumes of smoke, cement for broken
engagements.
A GENTLEMAN addressing a passionate
love letter to a lady in the same town,
added this curious postscript please
to send a speedy answer, ms | have
somebody else in my eye.
BILL, said Bob, "why is that
tree called the weeping willow ~
cause one of the sneaking, plaguey
things grew near the school house. and
supplied the master with switches
q WISH you had been Eve said an
urchin to "A stingy old aunt, proverbial
for her meaness why sof" BE
cause said he, "you would have eat
en- all the apple, instead of dividing
it."
"WHERE are you goingq' said
Scotch gentleman to thief, whom he
observed crawling through a hole in the
hedge into his garden. Back again"
replied the thief, as he hastily re-
treated.
A CURATE having been overhauled by
his bishop for attending a ball, the
former replied, "My lord, l wore
mask "Oh, well, returned the
bishop, "that puts new face ON the
affair.
AN Indiana county clerk has found in
his Office a certificate which reads:
"This is to sertify that ], William
Sands, is agreed that jim Brown shall
hev mi Daughter Patsey to wife this
18th day of genewerry, 1871
"PA," said lad to his father, CT
have often read of people poor but
honest why don't they sometimes say
rich but honest ~ "Tut, tut, my son,
nobody would believe them, answered
the father.
SOMEBODY asked the Hon, Frank
Madison show much money he made
OFT of the county when he was III the
Legislature, he replied, mot cent,
sir but added made it all
in it."
'TELL me, angelic host, We messeng.
ers of love, shall swinNed printers
here below hava no redress aboveW
The shining angel band replied "To
us is knowledge given delinquents on
the printers books can never enter
Heaven.
SOME people make their religion so
long way. A good woman bought a
lottery ticket the other day. accom-
panying the purchase with the sohlo-
guy, "The Lord knows how it'll turn
out. It's all in the hands of the Al
mighty, spose,"
THERE is story going the rounds
that boarding house keeper died and
left all her property to u young man
Just because he never complained about
the hash and things. 1t il evident that
the item is published Mt the instigation
of boarding house keepers, who think
that young men will take warning and
quit complaining, in hopes of being
ELDER KNAPP, the great rayivalist,
was actively engaged in a revival of re-
ligion down in Arkansas, and when
about to baptizea new convert, he cali
ed ont in a loud voice: "Does any
one know why this man should not be
and to his surprise long
specimen of an Arkansas traveller shout.
ed: "See here, Mister preacher, ]
don't want to interfere in that ere bust
ness ofyours, but if You expect to get
the sin all out of that old cuss, you will
have to anchor him out III the river over
night.
THE other day Molecule propounded
the following Atom "a boy said TO a
MY father and mother had
a daughter, but she is not my sister,
Now how do you explain that2" Atom
reflected but all in vain, To his every
suggestion Moleculn replied by mild
but decided negative. At length Atom
was forced to give it up. "Why, it's
simple enough, said Molecule, with
an exasperating smile, "the boy led
THERE is story of Western man
who was too lazy to work, and whose
neighbors, being tired of keeping him,
to drown him. Meeting
the Squire, his pity was touched. ''Set
him down. he sald 9TH give him a
load of corn to keep him alive" The
victim raised his head from the bier.
" Shelled, Squire 2" ''No!" The head
dropped again "Drive on, boys,
them" The story has its own moral.
A GENTLEMAN entering an omnibus
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