The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1871-08-24

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assertions.
The Hartford Times tells of a Boston
man lately in that city who ate raw
oysters off the shell till the waiter nearly
dropped from exhaustion then looked at
his watch and exclaimed:
''By Jove I've only got ten minutes
to get to the Car, and must break oft
right in the middle of lunch. It's
too bad-too bad. Just my luck !!
Can't never get enough to eat outside of
Boston," He was only charged the
ordinary prick of 25 cts. a dozen for
NICE. large, fat bivalves, and yet bis
lunch cost five dollars and fifty cents.
He made away with two hundred and
sixty-four oysters, which only served to
whet his appetite.
An old lady in Binghamton read an
item in q paper, the other day, describ-
ing how.sa grindstone burst in a saw
factory and killed four men. She just
happened to remember that there was
small grindstone in the cellar, leaning
up against the So she went out
and got an accident insurance policy, and
then, summoning the hired girl, and
holding the pie board in front of her, so
if the thing exploded her face would not
be injured, the had the stone taken out
in the alley where "a pals of water were
thrown on it, and stick place in the
lhole, bearing a placard marked
Dangerous. She says it's a mercy
the whole house was not blown to pieces
by the thing before this.
A man wrote to Horace Greeley for a
situation, and received the following let
ter in Horace's handwriting: This is
the 2000th application in week. Go
to the devil. / can't hire. every id
fool.' The document was signed Horace
Greeley, but no one could read it.
The man presented it to the cashier, who
looked it over and handed the man $2O,
supposinei it to be an order for his salary,
and he has been drawing his salary
regularly on that letter for six months.
Just now they, are having a joke, out
West, on a compositor who set up the
toast, sWoman-without her, man would
be a savage" and got the stops in the
wrong place, and produced: ''Woman,
without her man, would be savage"
They say that his wife, who was helping
read tho proof, discovered the mistake
right away. -.
sSWho dare spit tobacco juice on the
floor of this carr" savagely exclaimed a
powerfully-built passenger, as he rose
| from his seat and .stalked down the aisle,
frowning1 de6antly upon the other
passengers. 81 darep p said burly
looking fellow, as he elected q quantity
of the noxious saliva upon the floor of
the aisl. .'sAll right, my friend" said
the first speaker, slapping him on the
shoulder, 'sgive us chew of tobacco" i"
A Yankee in England, being annoyed
by the constant boasting as to the
superiority of English girls, finally
silenced laudation by declaring that
"they had gal in Boston, only eleven
years old, who could chew gum in seven
different languages with her eyes shut. "
"CERTA1NLY." IF small girls are
waits, are large ones waters? Certain
ly, says sweet sixteen; cat least the boys
have the habit of applying them to their
lips in sealing their VOWS"
A parson, reading the funerafse
at the grave, forgot the sex of the de-
ceased, and asked one of the md 4rpers,
an Emeralder: 'Is this brother or
sister," 'ENather,' replied Pat, "only
cousin"
Here we haye.a frst-rate bull made
by French preacher, who lately said,
: s|Admire the prodigious strength of Sam
son! With the jaw-bone of an ass he put
thousand Philistines to the sword. p
Paddy from Cork may try while before
he blunders into anything so excellent as
that. fjla;H. is4lgsifG
GA man who would maliciously set ffe to
barn." said good old Elder Porson, CT and
burn up stable full of horses and cows,
ought to be kicked to death by jaekass
and I'd like to be the one to do it."