The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-09-29
Humorous.
"WHEN is young lady every like
whale ?" When she is pouting.

"WHEN is young lady "very like
whale ?" When she is pouting.
Why is the Louise-tartan certain to
wash well? Because it is intended for
the Lorne-dress.
A NEGREss at Georgia revival shouted
10 a friend. "Callne |! Hole my shol an
bonnet till shout Glory Glory y
WHY is a man searching for the phi
losopher's stone like Neptune? Be
cause he is a soaking what never did
exist.
MADAM, great many persons were
disturbed at the concert last night by
the crying of your baby" We'll, | do
wonder such people will go to con-
cert y
A DARKEY prisoner in Georgia ingeni-
ously remarked to the jailor, Oh, look
at dat snake dar and ran like
bright-eyed gazelle. Neither snake nor
prisoner has been seen since.
FOND father" see yeve put my son
inter grammar an Biography. Moo, as l
neither mean mean him tae be Minis
ter or sea captain, its O nae use. Che
him plain bizness eddication."
HARRY: "Your dawg is very thin,
William" William: ''He is very
bad but when he dies | am going to
stuff him, Harry" Harry (insnuating-
ly): "Hadnt you better stuff him be-
fore he dies "
ROMANTIC Amelia Ito her betrothed
young DOCTOR, Look, dear, such a
! 4 I =
crimson" Unromantic doctor. Ya-as
appears to have had mustard plaster
on
So LONG as stones are the principal
part of the small peaches peddled from
wagons, there is eminent propriety in
selling them in quartz.-New York
Leader.
WHEN distinguished American
dies said shrewd and sarcastic OBJ
server not long ago, his admiring
friends and countrymen Immediately
resolve to build him a magnificent
monument, and then--they don't build
it,
APRoPos Of Telescopes-Distance lens
enchantment to the view.
Poor Mrs. Brown, to hasten things,
, Pours oil upon the coal,
The neighbors meet at night and pray
Have mercy on her SOUL"
ADVICE as 10 mounting a mustang:
"Stranger, reckon you don't under
stand that animal There amt only
one way to get along with mustang,
and that is to let him go just as he Is
mind to- and then steer him.
A LITTLE bit of thing who had just
got back from party, was asked by her
go, mamma !" she said I" I'm so full Of
happiness-I couldn't be no happier
without | was bigger"
A QUARRELsoME couple were discussing
the subject Of epitaphs and tombstones,
and the husband said my dear,
what kind Of a stone do you suppose
they will give me when die ~ :" Brim-
stone, my love = was the affectionate re-
ply.
THE Fag End of a Quarrel.
parent: leave off that noise directly,
Jack, you naughty boy Its all over
now, and Bertha's left off crying these
began CRYING before did ! Boo hoo!"
-Pmch.
SOME time ago woman was tried and
proven guilty of murder, in one of the
back woods counties of Mississippi.
Her counsel could find no redeeming
clause to save, and at last appealed to
the chivalry Of the jury, who gave their
verdict, Not guilty-because she is
woman
TEACHER Mary, dear, suppose
were to shoot at tree with five birds
on it, and kill three, how many would
be left ?" Mary years old: "Three,
ma am" Teacher: "No, two would
be left" Mary: "No, there wouldn't
though; the three shot would be left,
and the other two would be flied away!''
BRIGHr-eyed little fellow in one of
the Brooklyn private schools, having
spelt word, was asked by his teacher:
" Are you willing to bet you are
right, Benne?'' The boy looked up
with an air Of astonishment, and said
: | kaoo I'm right, Miss ", but never
bet"
\ LITTLE boy having broken his rock
ing horse the day it was bought. his
mother began to rebuke him, and to
threaten to box his ears. He silenced
her by inquiring, "What is the good of
a boss till it's broker"
A LECTURER undertook to explain to
village audience the word "phenome-
non." MAY be you do not know what
a phenomenon is. Well, I'll tell you.
You have seen cow, no doubt. Well,
a cow is not phenomenon. But when
YOU see the COW 90 up the tree tail fore
most, to pick the apples, it is a phenom-
enon"