Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1871-08-31
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,
A Sort BLow-A gentle breeze.

week 10 keep the outsiders from breaking
into the pcnitentiary.
A wrTEss under cross.cxamination, who
had been tortured by a lawyer for several
hours, at last asked for drink of water.
"There," said the Judge, L think you'd
better let that witness 60 now, as you have
pumped him dry
A GENTLEMAN of Dubuque sent up a
little red balloon labeled so that it should
be known who sent it and where from
In less than week he received letter
from Akron, Ohio, that it had arrived
there, five hundred miles from where it
started.
ForR young Scotchmen living in Kan
sas City, Mo-, advertise iii the Edinburg
Scotsman that they find it difficult tc
conform to the usages of American So
ciety" and, in order to "revive the good
correspond with "a limited number of
bonnie lasses of culture and refinement in
their native land"
An "oracle at New Orleans, discours-
ing on the wonders of the Mississippi,
mentioned the iron coffin of De Soto,
containing the golden trumpet given him
by Queen Victoria. "What" exclaimed
one; mot Queen Victoria?' yes, sir,
Queen Victoria" "Why; she wasn't
born then by two hundred years or more I"
IL don't care if she wasn't" was the bold
reply; reckon she could leave it in her
will"
The Rochester Democrat is slightly sar
castle on railroad line in that vicinity
It says that gentleman took the train q
few days ago on what is termed the
Huckleberry road" running between
Avon and Mount Morris. After the train
started from Avon he discovered that he
had left valuable dog behind, but on ar
irving at Mount Morris the lost dog was
found sitting at the station awaiting the
arrival of his master.
| LOGIC
IT'S st ange, but true, that common cat
| Has got ten tdttS-just think of thatl
! Don't see 1t, eh? The fact is plain,
To prove it so rise t. explain.
We cay: A cat has but one tail
Behold how logic lifts the veil
No cat has nine tails; don't you see
! one cat has one tail more than she2
| Now add the one tail to the nine,
You'll find full ten tailed fell Q.
As Holmes has said in his " One horse Shay"
Logic is logic, that's all say.
A FOREMAN of one of our factories was
aggravated by the action of new hand
who failed to perform his duty right,
although repeatedly explained to him. He
told him what he thought of men who
did as he was doing; mentioned the torrid
zone, and dipped to the very roots of the
English language for vigor Of expression,
and then suddenly and quietly withdrew
on being informed that the anxious lis
tener was deaf Dand1ry News.
ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS tells us
that the average young woman spends
enough inventive power, enough financial
shrewdness, enough close foresight,
presence of mind, enough patience of hope
and anguish of regret upon one seasons
outfit had almost said upon one single
street suite make an excellent bank
cashier, or comfortable graduate of
theological seminary"
A CORRESPONDENT writes to an ex.
change, inquiring "what is the best treat
mcnt to prevent the development of hy-
drophobia in dogs" and is answered as fol-
lows: Don't really know about the best,
but if you will give your dog water
enough it is pretty certain he can't have
the disease. The safest way to insure him
an abundance of this indispensable fluid is
to anchor him in about seven feet of
water, so that his head will be from
eighteen to twenty-five inches below the
surface. In that way he can drink as
much as he wants. Any surplus he may
chance to swallow will do more good than
harm.
APRoPos of the stage of life behind
scenes, the Philadelphia Telegraph says:
1--WE have heard MIR. Murdoch tell Of
choice lot of patriots he was leading in
some place or other, who had, with infin-
tie care, been drilled to make certain ex.
CARNATIONS in a set order. But brains to
adapt themselves to the situation they had
not. Mr.. Murdoch made an inadvertant
transposilion of his own lines, and the fol-
lowing short but emphatic dialogue was
the result Hero-Would ye be slaves?
Shouters-We would! we would! Hero
binding it too late to cry back, and trust
ing to luck)-Would ye be free men?
Shouters-We'd die first!
DONG good under difficulties is thus H.
Illustrated in the experience of a missionary
q Western State AT the first settlement
l came to found that there had never been
a Sunday shool in that region, and the
people could hardly understand what l
wanted. One had never seen Sunday
school, and thought there must be some
trick about it. Having some books with
me proposed to give him one. No, sir,
| don't want it; can't afford it; for !
know, if l take it, there will be some sort of
officer after taxes on it, wrote on the
fly-leaf No tax to be collected on this
book, and then he consented to take it p"
AT a recent meeting Of the Chamber of
Commerce Of South Bradford, England, it
was reported that the growth of wool in
Australia was increasing every year. The
total imports OF sheep and lambs wool into
Great Britain amounted to 1911, 561 ,399
pounds in the first six months of 1871
against 100 821 $40 pounds in 1870 and
144,174,733 pounds in 1869. In these to.
tails the Australian wool amounted to 1884,
735,2SS pounds during corresponding Pc
RODS in 1871 against 135, 928 213 pounds in
1870 and 103, 772S27 pounds in 1869 The
value of the imports OF wool from Austria
liz now amount to from 81, 500,0U0 to &c.,
900, 600 month.
THE other day the rare sight was pre-
sented here of soft lobster just out of
his old clothes, and his cast-off shell by
in lobster net Just before he took off his
ovcrcoat, and was captured soft and fresh
HOLSTERS cast their shells once year, dur
ing their growing period. Some time be-
fore they are very restless and uneasy,
probably from the pain of the tight fit,
and the animal struggles to relieve him
self. Soon the shell is split across
back, the back, the clsws are drawn out
first, next the feet, which comes hard, then
the head and the eyes, and lastly the tail.
The whole operation involves good deal
of shivering and pulling. In drawing out
his legs and claws, as in his ferocious com.
bats with other Holsters, if he breaks off q
limb he always does it at the second joint ;
if not, he is gone lobster by bleeding to
death.-Cnpe Ann ADVERTISER.
In Maryland they have tolored man
whom they style the African Fire King.
Recently he gave an exhibition of his
"powers" to select company. After ap-
plying a redbot shovel to the bottom of
one of his feet, without making any i'm
preston on him, also licking the shovel,
still red not, with his tongue, without even
drying the saliva in his mouth, and taking
a red-hot anthracite coal from a stove,
without scorching his hand or fingers in
which he held it, he asked if there we're
"unbelievers present One individual
stating that he remained unconvinced, the
Fire King, as the story goes. put shovel
in the stove and partially filled it with
shot, and when the shot got pretty hot he
stirred them with his naked fingers till the
lead had melted. He then took the shovel
in his ripht hand ond y,ourod tho hot