The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1871-03-02

/ rum tue D''olo VS. ktpuOlican.
A number of years ago there dwelt IN
this village gentlemen by the name OF
! Charles Whiting. II over human be-
ing was overstocked with good humor and
/ waggishness IL was that came Whiting.
lie was up 10 all sorts of innocent tricks.
and his victims were numbered blythe hum
dred many Of whom many yet reside here.
II came % pass that this wag was elected
Justice Of the Peace, and shortly after
his installment in Office, a couple came
over from Iowa, to get united in the
holy bonds of paddock" Whiting tells
how he performed the ceremony, as fol-
lows:
Having been appointed 70 the desira-
bic 'pOsish" Of Justice Of the Peace. /
was accosted, on the 4th of July, by a
sleek looking young man, and in silvery
tones requested me TO proceed 10 neigh
boring hotel, as he wished 10 enter
into the holy bonds Of marimomy. Here
was "squelcher." / bad never done
anything of the kind, had no books nor
forms yet, / was determined 10 do things
up strong, and in a legal manner, 20 j
proceeded to the hotel, bearing in my
arms one copy Of the Revised Statutes.
one ditto Webster unabridged dictionn-
ry, one copy largesized Bible, a small
copy Of the creed and articles Of faith Of
the Congregational Church, one copy Of
Pope's Essay on Man, and a sectional part
Of the map where the victim lived.
Having placed table in the middle Of
the room, and seated myself behind il, /
in trumpet tones called the case. With
that the young man and woman, with
great alacrity, stepped up before me.
Having sworn them on the dictionary 10
answer well and truly all the questions
was about to ask, i proceeded. told the
young man that, being an entire stranger,
j should have 10 ask him 20 give bail for
the costs. Having heard this 20 frequent
ly in court, | thought il indispensable.
He answered that If j meant the fee for
performing the ceremony; he would do
post ii then and there. As / did not
know exactly what / did mean, / mag
nanimously waived that portion Of the
ceremony. / then told him il would be
necessary to give bail 70 keep the peace.
This he said he was willing to do when he
arrived home, and / then waived that
point also.
Having established 10 my satisfaction
that they wanted 10 get married, and that
they were old enough 10 enter into that
blessed state, j proceeded 10 tie the knot
asked him if he was willing 10 take
that woman 10 be his wife. lie said he
was. | told him that / did not require
haste in the answer-that he might TO
fleet q few minutes il he wished. / told |
him she looked like fine girl, and had /.
no doubt she was; but if the sequel prov |
ed he had been taken in, did not want 10 |
be held responsible. / said he must love.
honor, and obey her as long as she lived
he mus not be "snappy" around the
house, nor spit tobacco juice on the floor,
all Of which he promised faithfully to
heed.
Now" said /, Georgia, Ther name
was Georgiana] you heard what Hum
phreys says. DO you accept the invita-
ton 10 become his wife? VIII YOU be /
lenient toward his faults and cherish his /
virtues; Will you never be guilty of
throwing furniture at his head for slight /
and will you get three meals
day without grumbling?7 She said she /
would. ] asked them if they believed in
the commandments, and they said they /
did. Having read the creed and articles
Of faith, as. aforesaid, / exclaimed -
Humphrey, take her, she is your; /
cannot withhold my consent" "Geor-
giana, when safe in the arms Of your
you can defy the SCOTS and
jeers of the world"
then read little from the Essay on
Nan, including that passage, "Man
wants but little here below, but wants
that little long" As final to the scene,
| delivered the following exordium -
$50 in peace sin no more"
The generous Humphrey having placed
a fifty cent check in my unwilling palm,
babe the happy pair final adieu.