The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1871-05-05
MY FIRST LITERARY ADVENTURE.
BY MARK TWAIN.

I was a very smart child at the
age of fifteen.-an unusually smart
child, 1 thought at the time. 1t was
then that did my first scribbling, and
most unexpectedly to me it stirred
up fine sensation in the community.
1t did indeed, and | was very proud
of it too.
1 was a printers "devil," and a
progressive and aspiring one. My
uncle had mo on his paper (the Week.
y H"nnibdl journal, two dollars a
year. in advance = 500 subscribers, and
they paid in cord-wood, cubbages,
and unmarketable turnips,) } and on n
lucky summers day he left. town to
be. gone a week, and asked me if I
thought I could edit one issue of the
paper judiciously. All, didn't 1 want
to try! Hinton was the editor Of the
rival paper. He had lately heen Tilted,
and one nj ght friend found an open
note on the poor fellows bed, in
which he stated that he could no
longer endure life, and had drowned
himself in Bear Creek. The friend
ran down there and discovered Hin
ton. wading back to shore! lie had
concluded he wouldn't. The village
was. full Of it for several days, but
Hinton did not suspect it. l thought
this was fine opportunity. l wrote
an elaborately wretched account of
the whole matter and then illustrated
it with villainous cuts engraved on
the bottoms of wooden type with
lack Of them u picture Of
Hinton wading out into the creek in
his shirt, with u lantern, sounding the
depth of the water with u walking
stick. I thought it was desperately
funny, and was. densely unconscious
that there was any moral .obliquity
about su'h a publication Being sat-
isficd with this effort, looked around
for other worlds to conquer. and it
| struck me that it would make good,
interesting matter to charge the edi-
tor of a neighboring county with u
piece of gratuitous rascality and ''sec
him squirmr' did it, putting the
article into the form of a parody on
the Burial of Sir John Moore''-and
pretty crude parody it was, too.
Then lampooned two prominent citi-
zcns outrageously :. not because they
had done anything to deserve it, but
merely because thought it was my
duty to make the paper lively. Mex,
| gently touched up the newest stran-
'ger-the lion Of the day, tho gorgeous
iourncyman tailor from Quincy. He
was simpcring coxcomb Of tho first
water and the cloud :st" dressed man
in tie State. He was an inveteratc
woman-kiIler. Every week he wrote
lushy "poetry" for the Jou'"at about
his newest conquest: His rhymes
for my week were headed to MARY
in HI" meaning TO Mary in Haunt
bal, of course. But while setting up
the piece l was suddenly riven from
head to heel by what regarded as
perfect thundcrbolt of humor, and !
compressed it into a snappy foot-note
at the bottom thus: I'VE will let
this thing pass, just this once; but
we wish Mr.. J. Gordon Runnels to-
understand distinctly that we have
character to sustain, and from this
time forth when he wants to G. immune
with his friends in h-ll he must Sc
Iect some other medium than the
columns of this journal!".
The paper came out, and l never
knew any little thing to attract so
much attention as those playful tri1es
of mine. For once the Hannibal
Journal was in denland-a novelty it
had not experienced before. The
whole town was stirred. Hinton
dropped in with o. double-barreIled'
shotgun early in the forenoon. When
he found that it was an infant Gas he
called me) that had done him the
damage, he simply pulled my cars
and went away: but he threw up his
situation that nj ght and left town
for GOOD. The tailor came in with
his goose and pair Of shears; but
he 'deSpiscd me, too, and left for the
South that night. The two lampoon-
cd citizens came with threats of libel,
and went away incensed at my insig-
niicance. The country editor pranccd
in with 4 war-whoop next day, suffer.
ing for blood to drink; but he ended
by forgiviug me cordial, and Inviting
me down to the drug stole to wash
away all animosity in u friendly bum
per of "Fahneslock's Vermifuge."
1t was his little joke.
My uncle was very angry when
he got back, unreasonably 80, |
thought, considering what an impe-
tus |. had given the paper, and con-
sidcring also that gratitude for his
preservation ought to have been up
pcrmosl in his mind, inasmuch as by
his delay he lad so wonderfully es-
capped dissection, tomahawking, libel,
and getting his head shot off. But
he soitencd when he looked at tho
accounts and saw that l had actually
booked the unparale lied number Of
thrty-three neH subscribers, and had
tho vegetables to show for it, cord
wood, cabbage beans, and un>aeable
turnips enough to run the family tor
two years
THE MURDER IN CHEsTEEFIELD.-
The Cheraw Democrat gives these ad-
ditional particulars: