Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-05-18
FUN fLAsHxs.
A rising The bsIloshIst.

Female ga,lefing-A rufIled SHIRT.
The carpet bdsiness IL getting very
siiaty about this time
Wanted to know-How risfy square
rods are contained IN q wlseacre.
When is q baby most like \ cherub'
When Il continually doth CRY.
Mosquito nests ON the Mississippi are
searched Cor The bones Of lost children.
Z boy who undertook to ride q hors,
radisi - How practising on q saddle OF
mutton.
"Why don't you give rs little Greek
and Latin occasionally p asked country
deacon OF "a new minister why, do you
understand those languages? ?" he asked.
mo. but we pay for the best, aud ougat
to have H."
Greely tells an inquirer that there 10 No
trouble in raising geese for market n roo
dont wean them too young. Let them
trot around with the old eve tiil their
bride teeth are grown. and you can then
transplant them to the forcing frlmes
withou, whiting.
A poor. emac:ated lrishmsn having
called IN a physician In a forlorn hone.
The latter spread large mustard plaster
end put IL on the poor fellow s lean chest
Pat. when with fearful ewes he looked
down on n. said: "Docthor. II s,hlikes
me IL dale of mustard for so little
mate"
During late performance of The Lady
of Lyons at the Mormon theatre in Salt
Lake Citv. an old elder go, UP and lniig
nan'lv walked out of the house with his
-twenty-four wives, muttering, 81 won't
siav and see play where a man makes
such an awful fool Of himself about one
woman
A stranger. observing an ordinary rolf
or rule on the table. took It up, and. on
inqulring Its use was answered at is a
rule for counting houees." He turnel it
over and over. ND and down repeatedly,
and at last. IN a paroxvism of baffled GU
riosity. he inquired: "How. Ia the name
Of wonder do you count houses with
this 2"
"Martha. nv dear" sal loving hus.
hand tn his sponse. who sseveral years
his Junior. "what do YOU say 10 moving
Ia the far west?" "Oh. ! am delighted
with the idea. You recUllect when Mr..
Morgan moved out there ne was as Door
as We are. and In three wears nc died
leaving his widow wcrth q hundred
thousand dollars"
\ iiiIle four yesr.old remarked to her
mamma on going IN bed. al am not afraid
of the dark" "No, of course Won are
not" replied her mamma. "for il csnno, |,
huri vou." "But mamma. ! was q little
afrai1 once. when | went into the pantry
10 get cookie" "What were you afraiG
! Of" asked her mamma "I was afraid
couldn't find the cookies"
| A newly married man took his bride on
tour 10 Switzerland for the honeymoon
and when there induced her 10 attempt
with him the ascent of one of the high
peaks. The lady, who at home had new
er ascended higher than a church. was
mnch alarmed. and had 10 he carried nv
the guides blindfolded. 80 as not to wit
ness the horrors Of the passage. The
bridegroom walked by her side expostu-
laiing with her fears. He spoke honey
moon whispers, hut the ratification of the
air wae such that every word was audi-
BILE; 'You told me, Leonora. that you 81
ways felt happy. no matter where you
were. so you were In nv company. Then
why are You no. happy?" Yes Charlie.
did, replied she, sobblng hysterIcallv:
''but I never meant above the snotr
line"