The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-12-02
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

fecty serene occuPstioh, RS VIII oe Pio'oo W
the following:
The Milan (Tex.) Telegraph says: I'VE have
been asked why We stopped publishing, the mar
riage licenses issued by the clerk. Because
great big stand-up-in -the-mui. cut there In the
sand-hills said we published his daughter as
married when she we-nt and thai he would hit
US on the top of the head hard enough to knock
our ankles cut OF joint Tor it. Is that explana-
ton satisfactory :!
1t is = pity that poor printer cannot have
fortune left him without some ether priater
making such envious fling at him as is the
concluding part of the following in parenthasis:
Dubuque printer, named Sanders, is in luck.
His uncle in Tex died, and left him d farm Of
ten thousand acres. Us this another pretence
for buying box of paper collars on credit?)
The following characteristic funeral item is
from the Kansas City MOI Times OF the 10th
"Ihe funeral of Mike Williams. shot by Wild
Bill, at Abilene took place in this city on Sun.
day. Wild Bill paid the expenses of the funer-
AL" The Chattanooga Tines adds "Mr. Will
!ams' we have no doubt. deeply regrets his ina
blllty to thank Wild Bill for his liberality."
The way those Kansas outlaws and desperados
have of shooting one another, and the survivor
paying the funeral expenses attending the flu
neral as chief mourner, and marrying the wife
,squawl Of the killed party, is really touching!
Our local reater. will remember Tom Cor win.
noted base sirser, formerly with Lombard's
troupe, but recently selling pictures. Here is
the Peoria Rer~w's explanation as to the man.
ner IN which he got away from the Chicogc fire
Tom has a base voice of such deep and mean.
choly resonance that he has been applied to on
many occasion to rent it for well. He WAS in
q Stn nst q II ~
when that building caught fire. When he
awoke the flames were all around him, and it
seemed as il nothing could save him. He ap.
peared at the widow when the crowd below
shrieked with terror at his condition. Suddenly
he thought and sounded the lowest note in the
scale. 1t could be heard far above the fury of
the storm, and fell on the ears of those below
IKE wall from lost soul. Hastily running
up the scale he made complete staff, and fast
enlng the top note to the window shutter, he
SID to the ground unframed, though he has
been trlte hoarse eyer since. Such Is his won.
derful voice. In muddy weather he uses two
low notes for stills, and when it is vet he often
trolls for bass.
The following is true--ah too true We sup.
pose:
Michigan doctor, who was arrested because
MS p!tlent died, has been acquitted on the
ground that he did the best he could giving all
the medicines ne knew the names of.
The fear of fire during the recent dry weather
hao become 80 general that people every where
were alarmed for their safety. 1t is reported
that the citizens OF Prophetstown became SO
much alarmed during the prevalence OF the
smoky weather OF last week that committees
were sent all over the country to learn the usual
method OF conducting prayer-meetings-
Sentinel!
The people in that section eyiden tly do not 90
much on religion, except in case of emergency
The people of Redding. Connecticut showed
their warm sympathy with Chicago by sendinu
TWO strings of red.pepper to the sutferers-Es
They evidently had a "red hot" appreciation
OF those who were burnt out!
The Oquawka Spectator thanks friend for
package of genuine Cuba tobacco. The editor
knows 1t Is, because the man who presented il TO
him 'knows the old cuss who smursled it from
Cubaw
The New York World accounts for the ,na-
quailty OF sexes oy saying that in early life the
boy masters his opportunities while the GIRL
commonly misses hers.
But how is it at mature aye ? The girl pena.
rally becomes master as well as Mrs., and the
boy yes poor boy no one can tell in the AGE
OF womans rights what will become of him!
An exchange tells us that:
Two or three academic students recently took
some ladies' into the Sheffield scientific scbool
observatory to gaze at the pale moon. One of
the latter, observing through the telescone the
Jagged edge OF the orb exclaimed in rsnturo,
Oh, how divine! 1t looks exactly like Ham
burg edging.' 1'
Now, say If you dare, that our fusbionab,e
young ladies have not fine appreciation Of A..
tronomy!
A traveller in Texas writes that Aust;p 10 :.
very nice place, and though lacking the ord;n,rv
means Tor illuminating the streets has hit uno,
very original method. He says: $50 soon a.
the sun goes down. you zee a red haired GIRL
come out and place herself on each CORNER ~ r..
street. We then turn loose the LIGHTNING, bu,,.
ana the two makes it as light an day. T b.va
peea brought up twice before the autbo-;t;a.
'or h"ssing the lamp-posts and fined heavily.
our city authorities might take hint from
the above They might light tie citv with rod.
heaoed sirls' and the boys would wiliprlv r,;..
contribution TO pay the ,y,ansa ,,,,.
costing the city not red We mean TIM, m.
red'headed i"mp-pos's wouo nos cos, tho oi,,
anything, and just thiuk Of the y.,, .,,, ~.
city would realize every morrio,, :, s..
hugeinS lamp.pos,s!
Massachusetts, school ma,ur 5o,.,
has been interviewing one of her nrr;,s u,
says letter from the south.