The Placer herald., 1871-10-14
WEELYUM AND LA BELLE FANNY.
BY DAN DE GUILE.

l have dear friend, and his name is
Weelyum.
His disposition is sweet-ah, so saccha-
rine!
Weelyum likes me, and like Weelyum
Weelyum tells me all his thoughts
his hopes, all his fears. Chere friend-bon
ami-Weelyum!
His confding nature, at times is wont te
expand, till anon it bursts, and, like boml
charged with bon bons and every variety o.
best steamre6ned confectionery, showers Oh
all around its superior sweetness.
Weelyum is in love.
Her name is Fanny.
For Fanny, the rock-candy of his heart
melts, and the sugar-housc molasses of his
soul runs lavishly to waste.
Fanny-bless her jolie eyes and jolly
heart-Fanny resides in one of the COW
counties of California
This houri-this sweet bud of promise, is
fast progressing to full bloom loveiness and
angelic perfection, among the COWS, cabbages,
cucumbers and caulfowers of her fathers
ranch
She is but sixteen and s,ceet. "Peaches
smothered in cream" would be but as "chafi
and stubble - compared with but one sip at
| the nectar of her dewy, delicious lips-one
long-d,swn delirious sip! Oh, Elizabeth
Ann, loosen my craHat
But, alas! alasl Poor Weelyum! He
has received delightfully."- perfumea billet d
amout, all knotted with ribbons, red ana
blue, from his souls charmer, and she wants
to" come over"
Great Heaven!- !-''come orer" And,
oh! l would that were all my poor friend
might yet hold up his head-might still par
ticipate in the gaiety of the "Fashion and
other places where there is a Sound of
revelry by night, with no leaden weight
Of woe crushing out all his souls joy-might
''smile again-and again.
But, she, wants, him, to, marry, her
"Rite off, deer Weelyum.'
Great and hoary Moses! Then She
kin live whar yu kin live;" and "whar yu
go tu, Weelyum, kin go tew,-thy grub
shell be my rub!-unly lcmme rest my he'd
onto thy busom?' BY the mark, second
Ruth! And the little dear unly" wants
to lean her he'd |" ono" Weeiy iyum-his
shirt-frontl- If have read Alright, Ruth, of
old, was more humble in her aspirations.
Then, again." My Weelyum, oh, deny
me knot!-fur cant live where you aint,
much longer, or elst shell dye, Weelyum,
deer. Poor Weelyum! This was indeed
terrible blow!
When he read the letter, he conducted
himself like one demented; he scratched his
head; he groaned, sighed and painted. Black
visagcd woe sat en- his brow, and at last,
succumbng to his eternal agony, he bowed
his head upon his knees and fairly boo
hooed. IN. b. So terrible was his grief
at this moment, that, in his abstraction, he
used an old sock in place of his cambric)
AT last, he raised his head; turning u pom
me his grief-reddened eyes, exclaimed--
"Oh Danl, accord to me your compassion:
pity me, my dearest friend for, whether
or no; she-she's bound to"
But here his grief again burst forth, with
overwhelming violence, and hastily arising,
| rushed from the room, leaving Weelyum
rocking to and fro in frightful CONFUSION of
agony. l could no longer endure to look
tamely on whilst my dearest friend was thus
racked to the very inmost rccesses of his
soul-while griefs tempestuous blast bowed
him and caused every chord and fibre to Vi
brate to woes dismal notes.
But what could l do ?-what could say?
Nothing-clearly, nothing! In such over
whelming aflliction it were folly to offer the
vain consolation of words-aye, insult!
She wants to A" come over "-ye gods, to
come over!-Then she wants them to be
married rite off; Terrible, oh, terrible!
My friend, my poor friend-oh, Weelyum!
10 tat
" each particular pore, OF that his eyes
pour tears-no wonder that
g With grief he forward leans, as forward leans
The bulrush when the stream runs swift with
rain,''
for she wants to s' come over" and be mar
RED" rite off Great God !" rite ofp'
Returning after an absence Of some hours,
found On my desk letter-it was in Weel-
yum, his hand d-and commenced" Dearest
Fanny"
"Good" cried I, "with his trusty pen of
steel, mine afflicted friend has tapped his
woe-surcharged soul, and these four pages of
fooscap, once so spotless, now so blackened,
prove that he has ria his bosom of much
"perilous stuff, well, it will case him."
That letter | was villain enough to copy,
and such parts as | may choose to give will
find place below. Qf Weelyum don't make
an ass of himself and " tare round" no one
will ever know who be is, or who is la char
mante Fanny.)
y" SILVER CITY, New,
Sept. 18th, 1871.
"DEAREsT FANNY: :-Your anxiously look
ed for and most charming little letter came
duly to hand. You little rogue, you can
have no idea of the pleasure it gives ME to
receive one of your charming epistles. Your
sweetlittle note caused every fibre of my most
presumptuous and unworthy heart to thrill
with emotions supremely joyous. 1t is al
most impossible for me to realize the full,
sweet significance of those blessed words of
yours, conveying as they do the assurance