The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-03-22
Selett STORY,
TWICE. MISTAKEN.
FROM A BACHELORS DIARY
(CoNcLUDED.) J

i believe l ac9uit myself creditably
Crunms declares that l did wonder
fully well. and is inclined tp think,
believe, that / nave wasted natura
talent by not being a waiter. At an,
rate, L didn't spill anything over any
: body's dress, or knock anybody OF
: the head. 1 carefully watch Crumm
for his signals, and thanks to having
been at a dinner before, though not il
the capacity OF waiter, have some
idea Oi what ought to be done, and 81
remove the right covers, and haht
round s ch dishes us ought to be nand
ed at the proper time. The creates
. difficulty have Is TO keep my counte
nance, particularly when l haud any
thing to Miss Linton. She is SD brigh
/ looking, and 1t Is such fun to see the
sparkle in her eyes, and the way the,
drop il they meet mine, and little
repressed smile st al over her lips,
that IL taxes my powers in the utmos
to keep from laughing. l feel that
should like to change places with the
young fellow sitting 10y her side. He
does not seem to have much to say
for himself, and he examines every
dish, IS it is handed To him, through
an eye glass. HIS inspection is SC
long, and his Eose so clnse, that have
a glowing inclination each time to bob
the dish up in his face. For more
than half the dinner he is silent,
then he talks little politics-staunch
Conservatism-and Miss Linton im-
| t<l,
ical principles. upholds woman's suff-
rage. and their having seats in parlia
: ment. This seems to overwheim him,
and he reiires from the contest with q
sigh -aE.- ..-.. ...
Later on, he tries again, when the
mince pies are being handed round.
~ i'll you have happy month 2 he
asks with a faint smile which disturbs
his eye glass and brings it down into
his lap H. adjusts it slowly, and not
trusting himseli to repeat the joke,
asks her to have some mince pc.
N, thank yuu; ne, er eft them,
sh" replies.
Have YOU never ras ell them !? he
says urowuing a. il he were barris
ter cT,'S>-eNa,nining Il witn"sS, but
probably neceu>e his glass gives pre-
nOmit"ry slip.
%, ye- | have tasted them, but L
d"u't care abnui them size answers.
He has 10 Comment To make upon
irrr reply, and he helps himself III 81
lcnc..
Six o'.-Iock. CIumms and solemn
" put on tho. wine and the glasses,
push the DESC ri dishes Il little one way
or the uCher, and leave the room.
Bravo 7 whispers Crumus VIII n we
are in .e hali Brave. sir! With
a little teachin. you'd make a capital
wait-r. And Mi Linton mistaking
you for a gentleman too Wnat a
Joke At least he adds as il he sud
denly feels that he has madr rat er a
mistake himself, %. course, that is
what you are, and a gent is always a
gent, [ say But you understand, sir.
1t was lu.iicrn -
Perfectly. understand. Crumns.
What are you going to do now?'
Well. sir, he saws, coming a little
nearer, Il generally have something in
the house keepers room. .iaybe YOU
wouldn't like that, though we should
he quite alone
As wantspmething to eat. anil am
not particular where get il, follow
Ci iumms down stairs into the kitchen.
The servants are busy washing up the
plates and di-hes, amid general smell
of dinner aud no, water, which is far
from pleasant The housekeeper takes
US at once into Ter room, where there
is cloth spread upon the table, and a
row of the COOL things from up stairs
on a kind of dresser.
You are sure you don't mind, SIR
says Crumms to me when we were
alone, because I'll wait till you are
done, If you like am not hungry
But ] am, and shall not begin till
you do answer; and we sit down
together. The snup is colu and fast.
becoming jelly; the fish looks man.
gled and unsavOry; sn | decline soup
and fish find that the having lit
tie something in the kitchen after din
ner is over up stairs. requires training
that is necessary For man who
processes not to be hungry. and who
has had good dinner a few hours be
fore, lie displays capability for eating
truly wonderful. 1 prefer the dishes
that have not been touched upsI airs
he. "r, the contrary, is on .qualiy good
terms with all Of them. However. l
ge, quite enough to satisfy me. ard
,herc is novelty in eating ones Christ
mas dinner with waiter in back
kitchen. The wine certainly is the
best part. Crumms has taken care
thrc shall be plenty of that, and
makes a most liberal hnst with M
Domviie's port and sherry.
Seven o'clork. Crumms saws he
must take the coffee up t" the gentle
men, aud leaves the room No sooner
is he gone han one of The servants
comes IN. aprarc ntly IN search Of some
thing Whatever it il she does not
find il. She hunts about vaguelv for
a minute, ana then stops opposite me.
So Miss Linton took YOU for a gen.
tleman,' she says with laugh. How
nic,p
Miss Lin on made an unfortunate
mistake 1 answer gravely, initiating
Crumms' manner.
'W.ll. 1 don't know about that
she replies. There is certainly an ex-
ruse for her doing so.'
This strikes me as being very open
q ttery hut, under the circumstances,
loses its point; moreover, the speak
er is rather warm from standing over
her tub of hot water, and very plain
into the bergain. AS don't answer,
: n rios nrnnt hnn. si,hinnA