The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05

Mayne Reid, the prolific author OF
wild stories for little ard big children,
was once a gallant soldier, and dis
tinguished himself in the Mexican war.
After the capture of the City of Mex
leo, he was wont to empty his trunk in
adorning his person before calling up
on Guadaloupe, and while so doing
would stir up his enthusiastically recit-
ing poetry, much to the wrath and dis
gust of his brother officers, who had
no loves. One day while: dressing he
roared out:
"At midnight, in his guarded tent,
The Turk lay dreaming of the hour
When Greece, her knees"
II say, Reid, I" interrupted Ned Mar.
shall, "why did they grease her kneesT
"WhatH
"You said grease her knees Now,
the question that agitates the country
is, why did they grease her kness%
The gay lieutenant gazed for mo-
ment in blank amazement, then said
sternly:
"You're fool"
A duel was the consequence, in
which Ned Marshall got the worst of
| it.
Cousin Norma is responsible for the
following concerning Jim Smith and
Johnny Greene, who after having had
grand bout one night, concluded to
go home. Arriving at Smiths house,
which they knew by some popularity
that even drunken man couldn't mis-
take, they commenced to shout:
"Missus Sum-hic-mith Ho, Mis-
sus-mithv'
"What do you want, you drunken
brutes w shouted Mrs. Smith from the
window,
"Ern yourn Miss MithY"
eyes am. Who are you and what
do you want ?"
"Ef yer Missus Sum-hic-ith,
come ere and pick out Missur Smith,
for Johnny Greene wants to go-ome."
A member of the Arkansas Legisla-
ture, who goes for economy ia public
expenditure, in speaking of an ex-
travagant appropriation, Indignantly
exclaimed: "Gentlemen, talk about
adequate compensation of public ser
: wants. Why, sir, during the late wal
was in thirty-seven battles, was
wounded thirteen times in the cause
J of the South, and the entire pay re
$50 in Confederate money, every cent
of which gave for one glass Of old
rye whisky"
A down East farmer, known far ant
wide by his patriotic title-had {
neighbor who was in the habit of work
ing on Sundays, but after while thi
Sabbath breaker Joined the church
, One day our friend met the ministe
! to whose church he belonged, "Well
, Uncle Sam" said he, "do you see an.
, difference in r. since he joined th'
church ?" "Oh yes" said uncle Sam
,, "a great difference. Before, when h
! went out to mend his fences on Sunda,
he carried his axe on his shoulder, bu
, now be carries it under his coat"
, Miss Jane, daughter, and Mrs. Ava
: wife of Brigham Young, have beel
stopping at Saratoga for a few days
| The Saratoga Sun says: "The wife is
: fair, wholesome looking woman, an'
! the daughter really q beauty. She j
/. of good size, fair complexion, res.
| cheeks, flashing dark eyes, plump
pretty figure, pouting cherry red lips
which gave at least one Saratoga younI
man a good, healthy, fragrant, swee
smack right on the mouth at parting
We learned that Miss Jane was no
, daughter to Mrs. Ava"
A Some time since n Northern Yer
4 mont clergyman visited New York
: and was invited to fill a city pulpit
r He knew nothing about quartett
: choirs, and had never heard a churcl
organ. After the first hymn showed
D him what the organ prelude was, h
8 announced the second as follows: 9Th
, audience will now join with me il
j singing a good old Methodist hymn
t and those fellows running that bag o
wind in the gallery will please not in
! terrupt."
r A short time since e. Z. Hawley
baggage master on the express trail
on the Hartford and New Havel
B railroad, was badly injured by a heav,
. trunk falling upon him. His wife wa
|. so affected by the news sent by tele
!. graph that she dropped dead. Th
r unfortunate and doubly afflicted maj
was taken to his dosolate home, wher
within weeks time he witnessed tn
: death of his only child.
: DIR. G., of Sycamore, Illinoi,
g riding IN the country saw sig
It upon a gate-post, reading thus; 9TH
: farm for sail" Stopping his horse, h
y hailed little woman who stood o
g tiptoe, hanging out clothes. 81 say
y madam, when is it going to sail
i "Just as soon," replied the old lady
J. placing her thumb to her nose, ga
J. anybody comes along who can rails
-? the wind" The doctor drove thought
e fully on.
4 One of our modern poets has tn
/ following fine line: ooh, she was fail
4 BUT sorrow came and left its trace
, therep What became of the remain
!. der of the harness he does not state.