davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22

Guilty in procuring divorce, with at
least $4,000 alimony.
How much are you going to charge
me for making me so happy" inquired
the lady.
well, / ought to charge you $1,000,
but out of consideration for your suffer-
ings Twill only take a retainer of 500,
and when it is accomplished you viii
increase it to $500.
THAT is extremely reasonable. L have
no change about me now. Oh, yes, here
is a check for $500 that my husband
gave me this morning to go shopping.
l will only want half oft to-day. VIII
you get it cashed for me"
1T is after bank hours, but the check
is all right, will give you 500 for your
shopping, and keep the check
The lawyer had that day received a
remittance of 500 from his father, and
handed it over to the lady, and placing
the check in his pOcket-bOOk, bowed his
client to the door. He was excessively
happy at his good fortune, and that
night dreamed of angelic clients, sensa-
tiOnal divorce cases, and huge pile OF
800 bills.
The next morning he went to the
bank to get his check cashed, and was
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Wien INC USlASA AAiOA Ii
ed him that the name of lEr.--was
forged. Indignant at the thought that
his fair client had been guilty of so base
a crime as forging her husbands name,
he hurried to the store of MI, with
the intention of exposing the lady. He
was still more astonished when Mr.
informed him that he was a widOwer,
and had not been blessed with wife
for moro fnoTo fnn UGnrS
Young Blackstone was seized with &
fit of melancholy, which still affects
him, for all his efforts to find the fair
swindler have proved unavailing. He
has come to the conclusion to have
nothing to do with divorce cases, and
has written to his father to send him
another sIGO bill to replace the one he
gave his client for bogus check.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
The Number seven

This,number is frequently used in the
writings Of the Bible.
On the 18th day God ended his work.
IN the 9TH month NOah's ark touched
the ground.
In Z days a dove was sent out.
Abraham pleaded time for SOdOm.
Jacob served Tyears for Rachel,
And yet other more.
Jacob mOurned days for Joseph.
Jacob was pursued at : days journey
by Laban.
A plenty of years and a famine of J
years were fOretold in Pharoah's dream
by fat and lean beasts, and Z ears of
full and ears of blasted corn.
On the 9TH day of the 7th month the
children of Israel tasted days, and re-
manned Z days in tents.
Every wears the land rested
+ Every 9TH year all the bOndmen were
set free.
Every 7th year the lawwas read to the
people.
In the destruction of Jericho, priests
bore tTumpets days, on the 9TH day
they surrounded the walls times; and
the end of the 9TH round, the walls fell.
Solomon was : years building the
temple and feasted days at its dedica-
ton.
In the tabernacle was lamps.
The golden candlestick had : branch
es.
Naaman washed I times in Jordan.
Jobs friends sat with him days and
nights, and offered Z bulIoeks and Z
rams as an atOnement
Our Savior spoke Z times from the,
cross on which he hung hours, and af-
ter his resurrection appeared 7times.
In the Lords prayer are Z petitions
containing times z words.
In the Revelations we read of Z
churches, candlesticks, Z stars, :
trumpets, plaques, 7 thunders, vials,
angles, and a headed monster.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
WHOLE NUMBER 463.

When a woman gives a sigh on hear
ing of wedding-that's a symptom.
When woman begins to say that she
has refused many an Offer-that's a
symptom.
Whom woman begins to say, what a
dreadful set of creatures men are, and
that she wouldn't be bothered with one
of them for all the wOrld-that'sa symp-
tom.
When a woman begins to change her
shoes every time she comes into the
house after a walk-that's a symptom.
When woman begins to have a cat
at her elbow at meal time, and gives it
sweetened milk-that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to say that a
servant has no business with a sweet
heart-that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to rub her
fingers over chairs and tables to see if
they are dusty-that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to 90 to bed
with her stockings and flannel night
cap-that's symptom.
When a woman begins to put her fin
gers before her mouth when she's talk
ing to any one, for fear they should see
she's losing her teeth-that a symp-
tom.
Wueu u "OIuaA OeBluS 10 tdlh aOOul
Theumatiam in her knees and elbows
that's symptom.
When a woman begins to refuse to
tell her age-that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to find fault
with her looking glass and says it doesn't
show the features sright-that's a symp-
tom.
When a woman begins talking about
drafts, and stops up all crevices in the
doors and windoWs-that's a symptom.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
Progress of wood Engraving.

Mr.. Benson J. Losing, in a lecture
delivered before the New York HistOri-
cal Society in October last, gave the fol-
lowing facts in relation to wood engrav-
ing WOOd-engraving, not for books
only, but for illustrated magazines and
newspapers, has made great advance
in this country within the last three de-
cades. Thirty years ago there were not
twenty professional wOOd-engravers in
the United States; there are now four
hundred. Two publishing houses in
New AOrk, namely, Harper & Brothers
and Frank Leslie, employ one hundred
Of these. There are, actually. tbirtv-
five engravers in steady employ at Har-
per's, and siXty-eight at Leslie's! In
the year 1859, as many as eighteen thou
sand wood engravings We're prepared for
Mr.. Lieslie'S papers, for which $50, 600
were paid.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
How a Dutehman got Even,

Once on time there lived a jOvial
Dutchman whose name was Hanness
Won Shrimpetiffel. He had a wife. He
also had little grocery, where beer and
such personal property was sold, He
gave credit to q parcel of dry customers,
and kept his book with a piece of white
chalk on the head-bOard of the bed
stead.
One day Mrs. ShTimpetiffel, in a neat
fit, took upon herself to clean house and
things. So she did, and she cleaned the
ead-boaTd, and with soap and water,
settling the old mans accounts by wip-
ing away every chalk mark.
Pretty soon, before long, the old VEN
der of things came into his and saw the
guin his frau had wrought Then he
said:
'Mein Gott, Frau Shrimpetiffel, what
for you make ruined man of me,
guess not? You make wipe away all
dem names and figures what / owe dem
fellers what's going to pay me before
they get ready, and lose more as sWei
hundred tOllarp
His frau left the room in fear and dis
gust. When she returned, he had re-
covered the head-bOard with chalk
marks. Then said she:
'Hanness, you have made them all
right again, don't it%
We'll, mien tearer frau, make these
figures all right, but l put down some
better names as dem old fellers vot you
wiped out
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
singing TO Death.

The following affecting incident Oc-
Cured in Lexington, Kentucky, while
the StrakOsch Company was in that
city. The story is told by an witness:
"On Sunday last, as the venerable
Chief Justice Robertson, stricken by the
hand of death, lay almost insensible to
the world which he seemed leaving for
ever, while the gigantic brain, which,
for so many years, has thrObbed grand
lv to the inspirations of his genius,
barely fiuttered with the consciousness
of life, he expressed a desire to hear
Miss Cary sing the ballad of "Old Folks
at Home as if the strains of his favor
ite melody would have power to call
back his soul from the portals of the
grave which he was so fast nearing.
The wish was at once communicated to
Miss Cary, who willingly consented
to do any thing in her power to rouse
the ebbing current of life in one who, as
q statesman or iurist, has known but
few rivals during the course of long and
eventful life. On reaching the residence
of Judge Robertson, Miss Cary was at
once ushered into the chamber where so
much of intellect and learning was fast
fiickerlng out into the darkness of the
unknown Hereafter, and without ae-
compartment of any kind raised her
rich contFaltO VOICE in the touching
words, Way down upon the Suwanee
River,S but before she had sung three
lines, broke down In the intensity of her
emotion. Calming herself she again
essayed the ballad, and, while the VEN
erable and stricken man lay drinking
her glorious melody, pOuren out her
whole soul in the simple Utterauces
which gave so much pleasure to one
whose giant intellect had in days agOne
fascinated the most talented of the land.
When she had ceased Judge Robertson
could scarcely express his qualification
by signs, yet signiiled II desire that Miss
Cary should sing for him, Home, Sweet
Home Twice did the gifted artistic at
tempt to comply with the request, hut
her emotion was too great, and Choked
with feeling she was compelled to leave
the room. Tine whole incident was one
of the most touching and efiecting epi-
sOdes that ever marked the death-bed Ot
departing greatness"
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
Church Directory

IsT PRESBYTERIAN CRURcH-West Court srl s.TeSsb ob-
pd Isl T WeCIav. Pastor. Services every 04O-
hath Hours: II, A. n, ", p. NJ.
Sabnsth School at ? P NJ -. - y,-5,esdav
Lecture and social Fayer Meellns OH
evening, at OclOck,
Fv. Lr-TRERAN CHUBcH.-bORta-sss corner Cou'I
- WaI1ut Streets Rev. A J, lmhop1 Fastor.-
Services every other Sabbath Hours: H. A. n l. P
NJ sabbath School every Sabbath 9:l5P.N.
lar METH. E. CHURCH.-South-west corner Church
and North Main Streets. rev; - = ~ n N
toF. Services every Saboath hours IL = ~ - -
Sab5sth School at g, p. \, = .,.,,,i,,,, Of p
ofS1i Siar Prayer Meeting, wednesday evening at T.
o'clock.
On METH CHURCH.-East Water s.LsSS; s.LlstS;t Io,rs.
FurgersOn. Pastor. services t e'0i -
n a X 7E, P. N.
Sabbath School at .. P n. youpg
General Class Meeting, Sundays at 3 A n. :. Sn3
1FeD1s PRAYER pseeting, Tuesdly evening at znu
CS1rsb 9g1r building. opposite Market House. -,
PRAYER Meeting, Wednesday evening, at Church.
7,.,-,s- C,,7-rcu.-East Court Street. Rev. B. 7.
T5vior Pastor. Services every Sabbath. Hours H.
sabbath School at 8, A. N; -.,.,,.,.
PRAYER Meeting, Wednesday evening" 0lo0N
EPISCOPAL CHURCH-COrner sciOto and Kenton,
+, t-eafs Rev. W. NJ ProbascO, Rector Services every
Sabbath. Hours; Il, a. N, u, P. n
,J-v, JERrsAIEM CHURCH-sWEDEEBER ROM
-, ,vssf cOrnerSouth Main and Reynolds streets'
Rev. Frank Sewall Pastor. Services every sa0oA'n'
Sabbath school at p. m. e Ef-.
o-,o r,,,,,r-p,c,r.- -Jobu street Rev. ]. A. Kear-
M Priest Services every Sabbath. Hour Il a. m
.ss.r,,TE REFORMED CHURCH.-West Market St.
pev n n Thompson, Pastor. Services every saD-
bath. Hours Il &. n.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
Advertisements will be inserted at the

and mother was still watching and list
ening for the step of Alfred: but it was
half past eight before his merry shout
and whistle was heard, when he ran in
to the gate.
Confess, now said the neighbor,
that you have been to the river with
the other boys, and SO kept away so
How the bOy's eye flashed, and GRIM
son mounted to his cheeks!
NO sir! I told my mother [ would
never go there without her consent. and
do you think that lCouLd ten a he? I
helped James to find the COWS which
had strayed in the woods, and did not
think 1 should be so late
James coming up the street Just then.
came in to tell us 'he was afraid we had
been alarmed; they had been so far in
the woods it made them late in getting
home
The neighbor turning to the mother
as he took his hat to go home, said, i
think there is comfort In store for YOU
madam. Such boy as that will make
a noble man.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
He Could be Trusted.

Alfred was missing one night, about
sunset. Mother was getting anxious,
for she always wished him to be home
early. A neighbor, coming in said a
number of boys had gone to the river to
swim, and thought Alfred was safe to be
with them.
NO. said the mother, he promised
me he would not go there without my
consent, and he always keeps his word.
He never told me lie
But seven o'clock came, then eight
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
GunpOVVder Manufacture n ye1v
England.

IT is estimated that there are not less
that $50, 600 kegs of gunpOwder manu-
factuTed and sold in New England Der
annum. This seems large in view of
our peaceful relations, but, when thou
sands of tuns are used for mining and
railroad purposes, the progress Of the
works Of improvement may be Judged
from the fact that more gunpowdeF is
now being actually consumed per an
mum than during our late war. When
the war closed, the government maya
zines were filled to Fepletion, and most
Of it was sold of, there being no further
use for it. In Massachusetts, there is
but one very extensive mandatory,
that Of the American Powder Company
at Acton, there are several smaller ones,
and this company turn out about 40
900 kegs per year. About two-thirds of
the production goes West. The African
trade, which used to be large in this ar
ticle, has been checked by English COM
petition. Prices of the raw material
(saltpeter) are now higher than at any
time since the wan; this is owing to the
existing war and consequent short sup
ply Commercial Bulletin.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
NEW KINK IN DIVORCES.
A Lawyer Learns wisdom from RFet:
~ Woman.

~ Woman.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.I
A day or two ago, a talented young
lawyer of a+neighboring city, whose
nameis not Smith, and whose briefs
have been like angels visits, was de-
lighted by finding in his Office richly
dressed lady, who announced her desire
to employ professionally. With a
beaming smile that could hardly be re-
strained from bursting into a full-blOwn
laugh, the young Blackstone handed
the lady a cushioned armchair, and as
sured her that he was entirely and de-
votedly at her service. Seating herself
in the protfered office chair, the lady
ungloved small white hand that liter
ally glistened with diamonds, and ap-
piled a Suez-scented handkerchief to
her lips, blushed, and casting her eye
upon the floor, said:
MY business is very particular-it is
pardon me, sir, but you will not betray
me?'
Betray you? Not for the world, ma
am. You can cOnfide in me with the
same reliance as in n priest at the con-
fessiOnal.'
The fact isl want-that is l have
been unfortunate in my marriage rela-
TONS
The eyes of the lawyer glistened with
pleasure, and drawing his chair close to
the side of the lady, remarked:
Il see-I see you want q divorce. !
am just the man to get it for you. am
perfectly al fGb in matters of this kind,
although have never had q case of this
kind in court How long have you been
married?'
Nine years
Nine years. You must have been
very young when you entered that bliss
full mean wretched state
Il was mere child-a foolish, mex
perienced schOos girl. A doting moth
er placed me in the arms of man old
enough. to be my father; hut he was
rich. and for two or three years / did
not know the difference. was as hap
| DIV as though my husband had been
! twenty years younger. But association
with other married women opened my
ewes, and | became wTetGhed. ! pined
| for-well, for heart that was more
congenial with my own. A man Of your
age, now, would have suited me bet
! ter
Exactly so,' exclaimed the lawyer,
rubbing his hands and twisting his in
cipient moustache. But your suffer-
! ings will soon terminate. | will getyOu
a divorce, and then
ooh dear me!-and then-but I must
not he toe sapguipe, Aly husband is
very rich, and he will never let me get
a divorce if he can help it,
MADAM, you don't know the laW-its
maiesty--itS magnanimity. Consider
volirseif divorced, and rest easy
well, sir, how shall IprOceed?'
Tet me see-iH the first place, give
me statement Of your grievances,
TThat would take whole week. You
can imagine what woman like me
must suffer with such husband
rYes, yes--pruel and harbaroqs treat
mentLcondition intOlerable - neglect
and all that sort Of thing. Twill just iot
down few Of the items, Your name
is
"Nrs.-. You must know my hus-
band
what, the merchant? He's rich as
i Croesus.'
yes, he's rich; butt don't care for his
money! want divorce
The lawyer wrote down a sketch OF
the lady's matrimonial infelicities, and
/, assured her that he would have no ditti'
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
Good Resolution. for the Year.

Not TO mix my wines when I 70 out
to dinner, and never to touch dessert.
To so out shopping with my wife
whenever she asks me, and to do so
cheerfully, and with money in my
pocket.
To try to like classical music.
Gradually to leave of smoking.
Not to sit up late at night; and % get
up early in the morning, light my own
dre, and work before breakfast.
To know all about eclipses, Ozine,
spots on the sun, tides, Sc.
Not to eXcede my income.
To eat cold meat at dinner without
murmlur or a fruwu.
To learn Bezique, and to play il with
my wife every evening when we are
alone.
To encourage the legitimate drama.
To wear gOlishes; and,
Not to send any more jokes to Ps1lch.
-PtDlch.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22

HAVE somewhere met with the fol-
lowing rules which are worthy of being
printed in every newspaper, and en-
graved in the heart of every young man
in the land.
1. Make few promises.
2. Always speak the truth.
3. Keep good company or none.
4. Never speak evil to any one,
3. Live up to your engagements.
6. Be just before you are generous.
:. Never play at any game of chance.
S. Drink no kind of Intoxicating
liquors.
9. Good character is above all things
else.
10. Keep your own secrets if you have
any.
II. Never borrow if you can possibly
help it.
Y. Do not marry till you are able to
support q wife.
Is. Keep yourself innocent if you
would be happy.
IA. When you speak to a person look
him in the face.
Is. Make no haste to be rich if you
would prosper.
IS. Ever live within your means.
II. Save when you are yOungto spend
when you are old.
Is. Avoid temptation, through fear
you may not Withstand it.
19. Never run into debt unless you see
q way to get out again.
%. Small and steady gains give COM
potency, with a tranquil mind.
p. Good company and good cOnver-
satiOn are the sineWs of virtue.
o. Your character cannot be essen
TALLY injured except by your own acts.
%. Ifany one speaks evil of you let
your life be such that none will believe
him.
a. When you retire to bed, think
over what you have been doing during
the day.
%. Never be idle, when your hands
can't be usefully employed, attend to
the cultivation of your mind.
Cut above maxims out of this paper,
paste the same in your best book, where
you can at all time read and profit by
them.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
THE LITTLE ONES.
BY KATARINE ANNIE MATHEW

BV KATARINE ANNIE MATHEW.
\ song for the little children,
Bright buds on the worlds waySidc.
The tiny white winged vessels
On Lfe's ever restless tide.
The sweetest stratus Of music,
And the love tones, soft and mild.
That ring in the happy voices,
OF each bright eyed living child.
And the brightest gliInp>eS Of heaven
In It's purity and love,
We read in the tender glances
or each precious Graded dove
The lowliest home with the children,
Isricher, costlier far,
Than the wealth Of Eastern mOuurch-,
Or the glories of kingdoms are.
Weare gIaddeucd with little children.
When our lives are cold and grey,
When our hearts sink down with the burden
And the toll OF cur weary day.
Love sings to us in their voices,
Faith beams on us from their eyes,
Hope comes with their soft careSses,
And we lern to be merry and wise.
Thank God for the little children,
They teach us lessons Of love,
Of patience, and gentlest wisdom,
OF the light in the kingdom above.
Take care Of the little children,
Guard daily their wayward feet,
Teach the little hearts to be truthful,
Teach the little hearts to repeat
The sweeteS. and hOliest lessons,
That are taught by the voice Divine,
And your life shall be made more blessed,
Your crown shall more radiant shine,
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22

TO lake anything else that he may say is just as good,
because he makes a larger profit on it. These rene
dies will be by express to any locality upon ap-
pHcatiOn to the
PRINCIPAL OFFICE,
AT TIE GERMAN MEDICINE STORE,
No. G3I IHCH STREET, Philadelphia.
CHAS. M. EVANS, Proprietor.
Formerly c. ". JACKSON b Coz
1.-r .rucdiu- are Tor sale by Druggists, SorekceP
slr Hslu NuGici-u bcIirg5 everywhere.
80 Du NOT ur-ui 20 examine well 'hc article y0u
NUy, u order 10 get the Vcnuue,
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
True PelIteness.

a poor Arab, going through tie des.
ert, met with sparkling spring. Ac-
custOmed to brackish water, a drauobt
from this sweet well in the wilderness
seemed to his simple mind, a present fit
to offer to the Caliphs; so he filed his
leathen bottle, and, after a weary
tramp, laid his humble gift at his SOW
eTeign's feet. The monarch, with the
magnanimity that may put many q
Christian to blush, called for a cup, and
filling 1t, drank freely, and, with a smile
thanked the Arab and presented him
with reward. The cOurties passed
eagerly around for a draught of the
wonderful water, which was regarded as
worthy of such princely acknowledge
ment. To their surprise. the CaIiph
forbade them to touch drop. Then af-
ter the supplemented giver left the
royal presence, with a new spring of
joy yelling up in his heart, the mon
arch thus explained the motive for his
prOhibition:-"During this long Journey
the water in this leatheTn bottle has be-
come impure'and distasteful; but it was
an offering of love, and, as such 7 accept
ed it with pleasure. I feared, however
that if 1 allowed another to taste it, he
would not conceal his disgust. There,
it was that I forbade you to partake-
lest the heart of the poor man should be
wOunded,n
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
nIaldenly symptom. Of CelIBaey.

A cotemporary thus enumerates the
symptoms by which old maids may be
&uOwnl
When a woman begins to drink her
tea without sugar-that's a symptom.
When a woman begins to read love
stories abed-that's symptom,
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1871-02-22
The Hide Dealers Sign.

The proprietor of a lanyard, adjacent
to a certain town in Virginia, concluded
to build stand, or sort of store, on
one of the main steets, for the purpose
Of vending his leather buying raw
hides and the like. After completing
his building, he began to consider what
sort of sign it would be best to put up
for the purpose of attracting attention to
his new establishment; and for days and
weeks he was sOrely puzzled on this
subject. Several devices were, one after
another, adopted, and, on further con-
siderqtiOn, rejected.
At last an idea struck him. He bored
an augur hole through the door-pOst,
and stuck calf7s tail into il, with the
bushy end Haunting out. After a while
he noticed q grave looking parsonage
standing near the door, with his speota-
cles, gazing intently on the sign. And
there he still continued to stand, dumb
ly absorbed, gazing and gazing, until
the curiosity of the hide dealer was
greatly excited in turn. He stepped out
and addressed the individual:
Good morning. said he.
Morning. said the other, without
moving his eyes from the sign.
DO you want to buy leather " inquir-
ed the dealer.
NO,
DO you want to sell hides p
NO.
Perhaps you are a farmer"
NO.
"A merchant, may be?'
Mo-
Are you a doctor y
NO.
what are you then p
4 am a philosopher. I have been
standing here for an hour, trying to
ascertain how that calf got through
that augur hole.