The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1871-10-18
CHOOSING HUSBANDS.

p
talk other choice ? In uiuety-uine cases
out of hundred, has she any choice
Does not the man (probabR: :the,lastRhe
would have chosen esefect heF? !
/; "a very clever correspondent has sen;
us letter containing this query, and
she makes out her case ably. She says
IL have been married many years; the
match was considered very good one,
suitable in eveyy-respeet-age, position
and fortune. Every one said I had
made good choice. Why, my dear
Mr.. Editor, loved my husband when
married him. because be bad by uu=.
wearied assiduity succeeded in gaining
my affections but had choice been my
privilege l certainly should not have
chosen him. As l look at him in bis
easy chair, a huge dog:at his feet, a
pipe peepiDg out Of one of the many
pockets Of his shooting coat, I can but
think how different he is from what !
would have chosen. My first penchant
was for a fashionable clergymau-a
perfect Adonis. He was fatterer, and
he cared but little for me, though have
not yet forgotten the paOg of his deser.
tion. My next was a barrister-a
young man of immense talent, smooth,
insinuating manners; but he, too, after
talking, walking, dancing, and flirting,
left me in the lurch. Either Of these
would have been my "choice," had SO
chosen but my present husband chose
me, and therefore l married him; and
this, cannot help thinking, must be
the way with half the married folks of
my acquaintance"
There is both sound sense and tru b
in this but is it not better that men
should choose than that they should be
chosen Aud is not our correspondent
probably much happier with her present
husband, shooting jacket, pipe and dog,
inclusive, than she would have been
with either the fashionable clergymen
or the clever barrister? Yen are
prove-bially ipcoustant, and after mar
riage, when the trouble aud iuconveui-
euce of children are beginning to be
felt, and when (the most trying time of
alp The wife begins to neglect her hus-
band for her children, unless there was
originally very strong attachment on
the husbands side, there is little chance
of happiness. A Wife's s,afection, on the
contrary, always increases after marriage;
and even if she were Indifferent before,
no we'll disposed woman can help loving
the father of her children. Children GU
her side are bond of union, and though
she may appear for them to neglect
some of those little attentions which
men naturally seem to expect, it is only
because the child is the more helpless
being of the two, and the true woman
always takes the side Of those who are
most feeble.
1t isa strange but melancholy fact
that when young girls fancy themselves
10 love they are seldom, if ever, happy
if they marry the object of their choice.
The fact is 10 most cases they 6ud the
husband they have chosen quite diff
fcrcnt person as an individual from the
imaginary object be had appeared as
lover. The imagination 10 most girls
is stronger than the judgement, and as
soon as the first idea Of love is awakened
in female heart the Imagination is set
to work to fancy lover, audaH possible
and impossible perf.ciOns are assem-.
bed together 10 the young girls mind
to cndow the object of her secret idola-
try. The FIRST mau whose appearance
and manners attract girl on her en-
trance into society is generally invested
BY her with the halo of these secret
thoughts, aud she fancies herself
violently in love without the less. real
knowledge of the man she supposes her
self in love with. No wonder, then,
that If she marrics shR is miserable.
The object Of her love has vanished,
bever to return, and she 6uds herself
chained for life to maa she detests,
because she fancies she, has been des-
ceiyed in him. ~ -
On the other hand, the man who,
with very pardouabIe vanity, faucied
himself loved for his own merits, aud
who was perfectly unconscious of the
secret deIusious ofthe girl, becomes,
when he finds her changed after mar
ria"e, quite iudignantas at her caprice.
The frieu5s and relations on both aides'
share in the same feelings-"Ehat
would she.hage-f" they cry; Hshe mar
tied for love. and see che; eossequepcd."
The consequences are, indeed, 10 such
cases. generally sad enough. When the
frs. delasion is dissipa.ed, ssdthe truth,
in all fits hard and stern reality, comes
forth from the veil that has been thrown
around it, both parties lseI indignant at
the false position in which they 6ud
themselves. Mutual sI'dfecriminations
take place, each accusing the other Of
deceit and ingratitude; while The ap.
parent Injustice of these accusations,
which is feH b55eaeF party alternately,
6rst Wounds the feelings, and then, if
repeated, rankles. 10 the wound ell it
becomes iseoFable Baltimore: Eua.s,