Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-12-07
Alphabet of
J. MAUoNEY.

"a (ao."
Fielding's, Goldsmith's Coleridge's, Dick
ems, irving's schoolmasters, whether the
mentors of their youth or the creations o.
their fancy, are gone, and the ~school-room',
restless precincts shall know them nc
more. Peace to their ashes is a good
prayer, but the pedagogical spirit need
not expect peace here or hereafter What
have we in the shape of living teachers tc
take their vacant places? Behold our di.
rectory:
Mr.. A was ''born to rule" He wants
his own way. and will have it; will have
it though the braces of the sky should
buckle" and the mighty dome come
cracking down. Like a horse-car he
goes straight ahead, and will not turn to
the right TO avoid an obstruction, or to the
left to grant an accommodation. His
he adstrong spirit keeps everything in good
working order, and does much good, and
not a little mischief.
Miss Ii ought to be his wife, 50 meek
and timid is she. Her Youngest pupil
has moro confidence and self-possession.
She would not dare TO put her foot down
to kill a n~oxious spider. Her diffdence,
like a voluminous train, is constantly en-
tangling her and preventing all genuine
progress.
MIR. G is as quaint and curious infor-
nation as the Pyramids, but is as chary
of imparting it as the Sphinx. The true
theory of education has so crystalized his
intellect that, if a pupil should ask him
the time of day, he would try to draw out
the pupil instead of drawing out his watch.
Mr.. ID is more judicious. He stimu-
lates inquiry by exciting curiosity with
out gratifying or firing it. He gives an
inkling of some historical tale or scientific
principle, and directs the student to pros
ecute farther investigation on his own ac-
count. He does not cram. but spurs and
guides.
Mr.. Els goodish. He flows over with
sweetness. He is all for good-feeling.-
In spite of the p-overb, he believes that
"sweet words will butter parsnips." HIS
heart and hand are soft, but a little bird
was heard to say that his ways are ISLAM
tindicular."
Mr.. F reasons thus: eff a child can
express in figures 10, he can express 100,
and 1000, and 1000, 600, and so on ad
infnitum." He puts this into practice,
in trying to raise the grade of his classes.
works contrary to the first principle of
grading. Ifleft alone, he would have
cube root in the ninth grade and algebra
in the eighth. The grades are mile-stones
to be of use they must be allowed to re-
main in their proper places. Education
and growth are closely allied, and time is
an element of both.
Mr.. G is, in policy, Mr.. F's second
cousin but he jumps only one grade at a
time; that is, his pupils are really in the
9th grade when he marks them 9Th. and
in the 9TH when he calls them 9th. His
are '.ways that are dark and tricks that
are vain"
Miss HI is an iceberg. She looms a
bovc her pupils like an o~verhanging cliff.
She freezes them with her presence: her
tones are those of the ghost of Hamlet;
her movements are as mechanical as an
orderly sergeant's, but they lack the SOL
dier's CELEBRITY. She keeps good order in
her room ; her pupils sit as motionless as
statutes. and her influence tends to make
them as sprightly and intelligent.
Mr.. is timid :; he breads public opin-
ion, and never gives the casting vote. In
fear of the Democrats, he will not say
that Graut is President and III fear of
the Republicans, he dares not say that
Grant is not President. He says: at is
alleged that Columbus discovered Ameri-
ca but whether or not lie explored the
Everglades, and travelled over mountains
and prairies to Chicago, and settled Hi
nois, is still a moOted question: Behold
this teacher, with the intellect of a man,
the requirements of Il scholar, and the
courage of a mouse.
Miss j thinks of nothing but appear
anccs- What" she says, IF member
of the Board should come in and find the
children's visual rays not properly directed
towards the point of sight,"
Miss X has graduated at some school
of civil arts in the West. This i~nstitu-
tons course Of study docs not cover the
whole domain of science; but Miss K
thinks that if she ever, after graduating,
should read anything but a love story, or
study anything but the looking-glass, it
would be casting a reflection upon her
alma mater. She is a frst-class grade
teacher, and yet she is as ignorant as a
box of brogans. We dare not say what
is the color of her stockings; but certain
it is, they are not blue. This young Ia
dy is very humorous in our schools.
Miss i is a very different person. She
is not satisfied till every branch in her
line of teaching Is clearly mapped out in
her mind and as a consequence, it is
soon quite clear to the minds of her pu-
pills. She is efficient in the first grade,
and a jewel in the tenth.
Miss NJ is by nature what Miss i be-
comes by study. She is a we'll of fresh
ideas and new appliances, and not a els
tern oc Gold methods. Like the poet, she
is born, not made.
Mr.. n likes to to talk. He is a tip-top
~reciter. "John." he says, ''give the ia
iniliar theorem." john begins: s'The
square of the base" '.Yes," breaks in
Mr.. N, ''plus the square of the perpen-
dicular. equals the square of the hypothe-
muse; very good, very good. indeed"
Miss O's forte is oral. She delights to
discourse upon animals not found even in
Van Amburgh's menagcrie, and is par
.ticularly interested in ~musguito's eggs;
but she scorns such vulgar subjects as
tails, hoofs, horns, and tallow. She is
fondo f all the long-pole words in (or out
of the English language; and often
screws additional lengths on her fsh-pole
phraseology. FertebramanImolpachyder-
mata is one of her favorites. When the
principal examines her classes he finds
that they know as much oral as might be
ox.onto1 |