The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-07-13
Simeon Shorts Son Samuel.

Simeon Shorts Son Samuel.
The following literary curiosity was
constructed for the last number OF the
Aspiant, the reading Of which formed
part Of the closing exercises Of the Con.
cord N. H., High School. Tile writer is
Miss Ida Bennett. Aliiterated stories
have been written before: but we do not
remember to have seen one in which the
difficult letter was carried so far:
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shees.-
Seventeen summers speeding storms,
spreading sunshine successfully, saw
Simon's small, shabby shop still stand
ing, stanch, saw Simon's selfsame
squeaking sign, still squeaking, silently
specifying: "Smon Short, Smithfield's
sole surviving shoemaker. Shoes sewed,
soled superfinely." Simon's spry sedu-
lous spouse, Sally Short, sewed shirts,
stitched sheets, stuffed sofas. Simon's
six stout sturdy sons,-Seth, Samuel,
Stephen, Saul, Silas, .Shadrack-sold
sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar, starch
spices; simple Samuel sold saddles,
strrups, screws; sagacious Stephen sold
silks, satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sold
silver salvers; selfish Shadrack sold
salves, shoe strings, soap, saws skates;
slack Silas sold Sally Shorts stuffed
sofas.
Some seven summers since, Simon's
second son Samuel saw Sophia Sophro-
MIA Spriggs somewhere,-sweet sensible
smart Sophia Sophonia Spriggs. Sam.
soon showed strange symptoms. Sam.
seldom stayed, storing, selling saddles.
Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia
Sophronia's society, sung several serc.
nades slyly. Simon stcrmed, scolded
severely said Sam seemed 80 silly sing
ing such shameful senseless songs.
strange, Sam should slight such splen-
did sales! strutting spendthrift! shat
tered shallow simpleton ~
Softly, softly SIRE" said Sally
"Sam's smit:en. Sans spied some
sweetheart" Sentimental schoo!boy!'
snarled Simon. "Snitten! stop such
stuf!' Simon sent Sally's snuffbox
spinning, seized SaHy's scissors, smash
ed Sally's spectacles, scattering several
spools. "Sneaking scoundrel! Sam s
shocking Stiffness shall surcease!"
Scowling, Simon stopped speaking,
starting swiftly shopward. Sally sighed
sadly. Summoning Sam, she spoke
sweet sympathy. SAM" said she "sire
seems singularly snappish; so sonny,
stop strolling streets, stop smoking Sc.
gars, spending specie superiluous!y, stop
sprucing so, stop singing serenades, stop
short! sell saddles, sell saddles sensible
See Sophia Sophronia Spriggs soon
she's sprightly, she's stable, so solicit
sue, secure Sophia speedily, Sam
$50 soon: so soon:' said Sam, stand
ing stock still.
$50 soon, surely" said Sally, smiling
ly; Especially since sire shows sucl
spirits.."
So, Sam, somewhat scared, saunteret
slowly, shaking stupendously. San
soliloquises; Sophia Sophronia Sprigg
-Short-Sophia Sephronia Short
Sam Shorts spouse-sounds splendid
Suppose she should say she shan't sh'
shau't."
Soon Sam spied Sophia starchin,
shirts, singing softly. Seeing Sam, sh'
stopped starching, saluting Sam smi
: lingly. Sam stammered shockingly.
"Spl-spl-l-splendia summer season
Saphia."
somewhat sult:y,' suggested So
phia."
:. ''Sartin, Sophia" said Sam. IS
lence seventeen seconds
"Selling saddles still, Sam?'
|. "Sartin," said Sam, starting sudden
r ly. seasons somewhat sudorlic, ,"sai,
Sam srealthily, staunching streaming
sweat, shaking sensibly.
"sartin" said Sophia, smiling signifi
cantly. Sip some sweet sherbet, Sam
(Silence sixty seconds.)
, "Sire shot sixty sheldrakes, Satu,
day." said Sophia.
"Sixty? s-shoo- said Sam. (silenc
seventy seven seconds.)
l "See sister Susan's sunflow ers," sal
r Saphia socially silencing such stiff s.
, lence.
Sophia's sprightliness stimulate
Sam strangely; SO Sam suddenly spok
. sentimentalIy, "Sophia' Susan's sun
2 flowers seem saying, Sam Short, Sophi
Sophronia Spriggs stroll, serenely see
, some sequestered spot, some sylvia
| shade. Sparkling springs shall sing so,
q stirring strains, sweet songsters sha
silence secret sighings; super -angeli
e sylphs shalr'-Sophia snickered 6
s Sam stopped.
, "Sophia,' said Sam solemnly.
t "Sam," said Sophia.
!. "Sophia stop smiling. Sam Short
4 sincere. Sans seeking some swet
y spouse, Sophia"
4 Sophia stood silent.
a "Speak, Sophia. speak: such suspens
a specu!ates SORROW"
q "Seek sire, Sam, seek sire.
s So Sam sought sire Spriggs; si