The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-01-19
4itl,ntond Dispatth.
o.x JANUARY 10. 1871.
por,.ms, rranHMn-A Brief DIS
san .an s;pon Deadly Enemy OF the


p,..,., rranHin-A Brief DIS
1.,o ANON Deadly Enemy Oh she
Boys.
1yorer nm, off TIL to. morrow what yon can 40
dan amor tomorrow just as weia--oe''""''
Fraaifn.l
This party was one Of those persons
whom they call philosophers. lie was
twins, being born simultaneously IN TWO
different houses in the city Of Boston.
These houses remain standing unto TINS
day, and have signs upon them wordea
In accordance with the facts. The. signs
are considered we'll enough to have, though
not necessary. because the inhabltants
point out two birthplaces to the stranger
ANYHOW, and sometimes rs often as severai
times in the same day. The subject OF TINS
memoir was Of vicious disposition, ana
early prostituted his talents to the
invention of maxims and aphorlsms
calculated to in1iict suffering upon
the rising generations of all suose-
quent ages. His simplest acts also were
contrived with q view TO their beng hela
up for the emulation Of boys foreVer-ooys
who might otherwise have been happy. IL
was in this spirit that he became the son OF
q sosp-boiler: and probably for no other
reason than that the efforts of all future
bows who tried to be anything might be
looked upon with suspicion unless they
were the sons of soap-boilers. With ma
leyolence which is without parallel in his
tory, he would work all day and then sit
nights and let on to be studying algebra by
the light Of a smoldering fire, so that all
other bows might have to do that also, or
else have BENJAMIN Franklin thrown up to
them. Not satisfied with these proceedings,
he had q fashion of living entirely upon
bread and water, and studying astronomy
at meal-time-a thing which has brought
affection to millions Of boys since, whose
fathers had read Franklin's pernlclous Dl-
ography.
His maxims were full Of luminosity to-
ward boys. Nowadays boy cannot follow
single natural instinct without tumbllng
over some of those everlasting aphorisms,
and hearing from Franklin on the spot. Ii
he buys two cents worth of peanuts, his
father says a." Remember what Franklin
said, nv son. A groat day is penny q
year >" and the comfort is all gone out OF
those peanuts. If he wants to spin his top
when he is done work, his father quotes
Procrastinati on is the thief of time" Il
he does virtuous action he never gets any
thing for it, because Virtue is its own
reward" And that boy is bounded to
death, and deprived Of his natural rest, De-
cause Franklin said once, in one Of his IN
spired flights of malignity:
Early to bed and early to rise
Makes man healthy. wealthy. and WISE
As if it were any object to boy to he
healthy and wealthy and wise on such
terms. The sorrow that maxim has cost
me through my parents experimenting on
me with it tongue cannot tell. The lcgt-
innate result is my present state Of general
debility, indulgence, and mental alteration
My parents used to have me up before
O'clock in the morning sometimes when !
was boy. If they had let me take my
natural rest, where would I have been
now? Keeping store no doubt, and re-
spected by all.
And what an adroit old adventurer the
subject Of this memoir was? In order to
get chance to fly his kite on Sunday, he
used to hang key on the string and let on
to be fishing for lightning. And a guileless
public would 60 home chirping about the
wisdom" and the genius" of the hoary
Sabbath-breaker. IF anybody caught him
playing "mumble-peg" by himself after
the age of sixty, he would Immediately ap-
pear to be ciphering out how the grass
grew-as if it was any of his business. My
grandfather knew him well. and he says
Franklin was always Gxed--always ready.
If body during his old age happened on
him unexpectedly. when he was catching
flies, or making mud pies, or sliding on a
cellar-door, he would Immediately look
wise, rip out maxim, and walk off with
his nose in the air and his cap turned
wrong side before, trying to appear absent
minded and eccentric. He was hard lot.
He invented a stove that would smoke
your head off in four hours by the clock.
One can see the almost devilish satisfaction
be took in it. by his giving it his name.
He was always proud Of telling how he
entered Philadelphia, for the first time,
with nothing in the world but two shilines
in his pocket and four rolls of bread under
his arm. But, really, when you come to
examine it critically, it was nothing. ANY,
body could have done it.
To the subject of this memoir belongs the
honor Of recommending the army to 90
back to bows and arrows, in place of bavo-
nets and muskets. He observed, with his
customary force, that the bayonct was very
we'll under circumstances but that he
doubted whether it could be used with ac-
curacy at long range.
Benjamin Franklin did 4 great many no.
table things for his country, and made her
young name to be honored in many lands as
the mother Of such son. IT j. not the idea
of this memoir TO ignore that or cover it up,
No; the simple idea Of this is to snub those
pretentious maxims Of his, which he work.
ed up with great show OF originality out
of truisms that had become Wearisome
platitudes as early as the dispersion from
Babel. and also to suub his stove, and his
military inspirations. his unSeemlv en-
deavor to make himself conspicuous when
he entered Philadelphia, and flying his
kite and fooling away time in all sorts
of such ways, when be ought to
hrve been tora"jng for soap-fat or
constructing candles. | merely desired
to do way with somewhat of the calami-
tous idea among heads of families that
Franklin acquired his great genius by
moonlight, and getting up in the night in
stead OF waiting till morning like Chris
tian, aud that this programme rigidly in
flictcd will make Franklin of every fathers
fool. 1t is time that these gentlemen were
finding out that these eXecrable &C.
centricities of instinct and conduct are only
the evidences of genius, not the creators -
1t. l wish l had been the father Of lap ,,.'
rents long enough TO make them y" n,,i pa
bend this truth, and thus prepare tbn,., e. e
let their son have an easier + Sncin =; -
When was child had to br !, 't un,n ., not
withstanding my !athsc VIZ weal tp' and nd
had to get up al ..sriy AM. study geometry Ut
p'eaN .,,, and pedd!e my own poetry, anc
do everything just MS Franklin did, in the
solemn hope that I would be Il Franklin
some day. And here l am.-Mark T,rain