davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-11-18

In Virginia the Conservatives have
achieved brilliant and almost overwhelm>
ing victory. Their popular majority in the
Legislative vote will not be less than 10000
"a gain of more than 20 900 over the cons
gressional vote of last year. They will have
two>thirds majority ip both Houses of the
Legislature.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-11-18
go REAT REDUCTION IN PRICES
III TO CASH GUST TONERS!
AT THE ERENSBURG
HOUSE-FURNISHING STORE.

The undersigned respectfully informs the
citizens of Ebensburg and the public gener
ally that he has made great reduction in
prices to CASH BUYERS. My stock will
consist, in part, of Cooking, PGrlor and Heat
ug Stores. of the most popular kinds; TIN
tcGre Of every description, of my own man
ufacture HGrdscdre of all kind, such as
Locks, Screws, Butt Hinges, Table Hinges,
Shutter Hinges, Bolts, Iron and Nails, Win
dow Glass, Putty, Table Knives and Forks,
Carving Knives and Forks, Meat Cutters
Apple Parers, Pen and Pocket Knives in
great variety, Scissors. Shears, Razors and
Strops. Axes, Hatchets, Hammers, Boring
Machines, Augers, Chisse.s, Planes, Com
passes, Squares, Files, Rasps, Anvils, Yises,
Wrenches. Rip, Panel and Cross-Cut Saws,
Chains of all kinds. SEovels, Spades, Scythes
and Snaths, -Rakes, Forks, Sleigh Bells,
Shoe Lasts, Pegs, Wax Bristles. Clothes
WIingers, Grind Stones, Patent Molasses
Gates and Measures, Lumber Sticks, Horse
Nails, Horse Shoes, Cast Steel. Rifles. Shoe
Guns, Revolvers, Pistols, Cartridges, Pow
der, Caps. Lead. &c, Odd Stove Plates,
Crates and Fire Bricks, Well and Cistern
Pumps and Tubing; Harness and Sdddle1-y
Ware of all kind Hooden and TT7Iolo Ware
in great variety Carbon Oil and Oil Lamps,
Fish Oil, Lard Oil, Linseed Oil, Lubricatinq
Oil, Rosin, Tar, Glassware, Paints, Varnish-
r'urponfipa Alcohol JSn
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-11-18

HUNTINGDON wants a new court house.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
A RenOuncing Dictionary.

Mr.. P.--What is the meaning, my
dear, OF the word dictionary" being
stuck against the wall within our area
gate? l have observed it these two morn
lngs.
Mrs. P.--Rcally, 1 can't tell. It must
be some scheme OF that infatuated cook.
l have no doubt it conveys some pri-
yate signal to the police constable who
is so often lurking in the area--her Rich
and, as she calls him. But I'll ring the
bell and insist upon knowing. (Rings
the bell and causes Cook to appear.
Now, cook, l thought l told you that if
you didn't warn that policeman off the
premises L should warn you of?
Cook,-Yes, maam.
Mrs. P.-Well, then, what is the mean-
ing OF the private signal your master
has seen against area wall?
Cook.-Prlvate signal, ma'am?
Mrs. P.-Yes, Private signal; you
know very well what meau--the piece
OF paper with the word Dictionary up
on it,"
Cook.-"La, ma'am, why, that be just
what you told me to do. Poor Richard
cant read writing, and I've been made
promise not to speak to him; so the on
ly way 1 could warn him off, as you or
dered, was by printed notice. He
can read printed letters, you sec, ma'am,
and our Samivel said as how all I'd got
to do was, to cut "Dick-Shm-aily" out
of book, and stick it VI where he'd see
it."
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
Girls Opinion of Newspapers.

Margary Dean, in one of her spicy
letters from Newport, gives the follow
ing piquant discussion between some
young ladies' concerning the merits of
certain newspapers:
Sitting on the hotel piazza the other
morning, watching u group of young la
dies, | overheard curly headed little
maiden who was frizzled and panniered
and puGfed in the height of style, ex-
claim, "Oh, I like the Independent best -
A moment before l could have sworn
Ia Petite, never looked at a newspaper.
and somewhat surprised, 1 took the lib
erty of listening further. THE Tribune
suits Inc" said her black-eyed compan-
ion. Il take the Evening Post, chimed
in stylish snucy looking girl, who was
pelting somebody over the railing with
pond lilies-7l beautiful buach, by the
way, which five minutes before had
seen gentleman carefully selecting for
her from little urchin's basket. And
when, I wonder, do You girls get time
to read the newspapers? Fold them
four double, Of course" was the next
sentence 1 caught, and more puzzled
than before, I very impoitely walked
near the group, when everything was
made clear to me by the blonde little one
saying, Il had rather have newspaper
any Gay than the best pannier that was
ever made in Paris" l fell back in my
seat, uncertain whether to laugh or to
feel provoked with the chatterboxes, who
had strolled off to lay seige to party OF
gentlemen just from the beach.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
NO. 5.
Just a Question or Two.

An exchange thus desOants upon
printing office beres, hitting the mark
so fairly on tue head, we cannot fail to
appreciate, endorse and copy, Here are
a few OF the innumerablo questions which
printers are called upon to answer;
Do you print both sides OF the paper
at once?
How long does it take to make
newspaper?
Suppose you write everything you
print, don't you?
Why hre those boxes Of different sizes,
and how do You know where to find
certain letter?
Can't You print picture OF anything
you want to? 1 should think you could.
Why can't you2
(After printing some horse bills for o
man not long ago, he found fault with
them because the cut was not like his
horse. On another occasion, o gentle
man came to us with the information
that he had left his horse in front of the
office, and he wanted picture of it tax
en- and some bills printed
If you print one hundred bills for So,
suppose You will let me have four for
twelve cents?
should think it would be fun to be
an editor-you don't do anything but
sit down and read newspapers and sto-
ries all day!
Do you throw your type away after
you have printed upon it once?
You don't care if 1 take handful Of
this type do you2
1t can't be very hard to set type all
day-is it, now?
Can't l help you print something?
wish You would print my name for
me; it wouldn't be much trouble to print
off just one name.
What is this for ? what do you do
with that? what makes that look so fun
ny? what are you going to do now
what forH why? what makes you keep
so still? You don't care if fellow iusts
talks, Go You!
By the time man goes through with
this list of questions, his company be-
comes so monotonous that he cannot fail
to perceive its effects upon the listners,
and he walks off with the impression
that we have treated him unkindly and
impohtely.
All the above is to the point, and when
the questioner takes the hint and leaves
OF his own accord, we feel serene.
But then, as occurred with us the 9TH
er day, man comes in with 32-page
pamphlet, with the backs torn off, and in
sists on us printing him copy of that
same, backs and title-page included, for
ten cents, because that is all the original
copy cost him, We feel disposed to ex-
plain to him the quickest method of get
ting down stairs, free OF charge
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
THE ENTERPRISE.
Sweetwater, Thursday, Dec. 81, 1871.
A Printers Misfortune.

Some years ago, when the writer was
reporter upon an Eastern paper, it de-
volved upon him to write for the same
edition an account of the presentation
Of q gold headed cane to the Rev, D.
Nudge, the clergyman Of the place, and
the description of patent-hog killing
and sausage machine, that had Just been
put in operation at the factory. Now,
what made DR. Nudge mad was this
The inconsIderate buccaneer who made
up the forms got the two locals mixed
up in friShtful manner, and when we
went to press, something like this was
the appalling result:
Several of the Rev. Dr. Mudge's
friends called upon him yesterday, and
after brief conversation the unsuspec-
ting hog was seized by the hind legs and
slid along beam, until he reached the
hot water tank. His friends explained
the object OF their visit, and presented
him with very handsome gold-headed
butcher, who grabbed him by the tail,
swung him round, cut his throat from
ear to ear, and in less than q minute the
carcass was in the water. There-upon
he came forward and said there were
times when the feelings overpowered one,
and for that reason he would not at
tempt to do more than thank those
around him for the manner in which so
hinge an animal was cut into so many
fragments was simply astonishing. The
doctor concluded his remarks, when the
machine seized him, and in less time
than it takes to write it the hog was cut
into fragments and worked up into de-
licious sausage. The occasion will long
be remembered by the doctors friends
as one Of the most delightful of their
lives. The best pieces can be obtained
for fifteen cents pound, and we are
sure that those who have sat so long un.
der his ministry will rejoice that he has
been so handsomely treated"
Mad? Well, about nine o'clock that
morning the Office had been abandoned
by every man but the advertising clerk
and he assembled to the roof and robed
himself in boiler iron, so that he could
watch the venerable clergyman tearing
round there in the street with his con-
grcgation, all wearing the panoply of
war, and carrying butcher knives and
things. The next day we explained and
apologized, but the doctor stopped his
subscription and began to take the rival
paper. "-Erchange.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
To the Point,

For brevity and perspicuity commend
us to the following official report of a
California vigilance committee. If the
Great North American Present Taker
would model his State papers after it,
his reputation might be the gainer For
fear he will not otherwise see it, we shall
take pains to send him a copy of this
edition.of the Telegraph & Messenger.
Says the report
1--WE, the 500 emigrants, quietly mar
ched to the Justices court and deman-
ded the prisoner. They refused to give
him up. We, the 500 emigrants, tool;
him, tried him, condemned him, and
hung him on the same tree he had mur-
dered his victim under. Farewell, vain
world were his last words, as the mule
walked away and left him there. We,
the 500 emigrants, followed the mule ii
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

In the window of Broadway New
York; variety store is to be seen u toy
called the "mechanical milking 1t
can yield more milk than any live COW
that ever was, seeing that through a
hatchway in the spinal ridge the hollow
body of the bovine fraud can be supplied
with milk mt discretion.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

The following dialogue, which took
place in street car, is too good to be
lost:
One of a couple Of Teutonic gentle
men, sitting in one end of the car, see
ing 'hashy' dressed fellow come in and
take his scat at an opposite end from
where they were sitting, asked:
who ish dat, Hans?''
'Oh, dat ish sphort.'
'Yat you call sphort, ayeg
you not know vot sphort is, aver
Vel, he is one of der fellers vat shave
all the hair off pig, and cover him all
over with soap, and bet II green Dutch
man five dollars he can't catch him.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

It is said that Julien, the musician, has
skipped" with the entire proceeds Of
the grand concerts and balls recently
given in New York for the qualification
of the Grand Duke. He owed his musi-
clans in the neighborhood $1,000.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

A Long Island farmer had sued his
wife for divorce because, after coming to
this city and listening to lecture in ia
vor Of free love, she insisted upon hail
ing every man who passed the house and
inviting him in to have talk World.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

A paper called the Caucasian, publish
ed in Lexington, Mo-, thus proclaims its
attitude ON national politics:
Horace Greeley, Gratz Brown, Cox,
Trumbull, Palmer, or the devil-anybo-
dy to beat Ulysses the gift-taker !"
There is no possibility OF compro-
mise between Grant and that editor -
Er,
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

An Irishman, being annoyed by a
bowling dog in the night, jumped out Of
bed to dislodge the offender 1t was in
the month of January, when the snow
was three feet deep. He not returning,
his wife ran out to see what was the
matter. There she found her husband,
in his night suit, his teeth chattering,
and his whole body almost paralyzed
with cold, holding the struggling dog
by the tail. "Holy mother, Pat" aid
she, "what wud ye be afther doing ?"
"Hush," said he, "dont ye see? I'm
tryin' to fraze the baste!"
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

Why are people who have nothing to
be proud of but their pedigree, like po-
tatoes? Because the only good belonging
to them is under ground
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
BOLIVAR
MALE AMI FEMALE ACADEMY,
MADISONvILLE, TENN.

THE EXERCISES of this institution will begin
l. ts next session the First Monday in Sep
tember, under Prof. r. H. Ramsey, who has
had charge of the Female School for the past FIVE
years. Latin, Greek, the Sciences, Higher
Mathematics, Bellies Letters and n thorough
English Primary course will be taught. Entire
satisfaction is assured 10 all patrons, from the
success of Prof. Ramsey and his popularity as
an Instructor and Disciplinarian. Board can
be obtained at the usual prices.
RATES OF TUITION:
Primary, Months, $1,000.
Intermediate, 5 Months, $l2.50.
Advanced, 5 Months, $500.
DR.. JOSEPH UPToN,
Pres't Board Trustees.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

Emigrants and Travellers,
ISAVE YOUR MONEY
IfyOu are going to Memphis, Little Rock, Pine
Bluff, New Orleans, Galveston, Texas, or any
point on the Mississippi Red or Arkansas Riy-
ers, or to St. Louis, Kansas City, st. Joseph,
Omaha, or any point West or Northwest, be GER
tain and buy your tickets via
st. Louis, Memphis, Nashville and
Chattanooga
Great Through Line.
Trains run through from Chattanooga to Mem
phis, Tenn, and Columbus, KY,
Without Change of Cars.
Therefore making
Only One ChOnge Befueen ChGt!anceq
and 81. Louis.
This is the short and quick route West and
Northwest, being from
TO 100 MILES SHORTER
an byth any other route. And equal, ii not bet
ter than any Line to Texas, Arkansas and the
Mississippi river
Emigrants by this route will not be put in Box
Cars which have no fires, seats or comforts OF
any kind; but will have excellent Passenger
cars, thoroughly heated and well ventilated,
Remember tins and give us a trial and see if we
do not do as We UrOnOsO-
Rates of Emigrants are as follows
Knoxville to Memphis, 1880
" Little Rock, ......,........ 2OOO
" ST. Louis, (Rail) .......... 81 .35
(RTer) ......... H.35
Kansas City, (River) ...... 27.35
(RaiD ...... 81 80
st. Joseph, ....... 81 30
(Riyer) ........ 27.35
Omaha, '..,,... 35.35
" (RaiD ........ 5.35
d" San Francisco, (RaiD ....1l4.35
/" iRiver) ......llO.35
" Kansas City, all River,.... 2l.S5
Passengers and EnigrantS by this Line from
Chattanooga have choice OF different Routes to
the West and Northwest, as follows Via Union
City, Hickman or Louisville, therefore giving ii
superior advantages Over all other Routes.
Trains run to and from Chattanooga,
as follows:
LEAVE. ARRIVE
3,lOa.m. sundNyp Excepted. 43Oa. IN
S.0Op.m. Daily, 7.lOp. nj
All passengers are entitled to 100 pOvnds bag
gage, which will be handled with care free Of
charge.
For further information address Agents of this
Line at the following places:
R. NJ. Hook, Chattanooga, Tennessee.
II. G. Rose,
L. l.. Osment, Cleveland
II. W. Renfro, Loudon,
W. ]. Taylor, MOrristOwn,
G. NJ. harrill, Knoxville,
For Quick Time and Sure Connec-
tions don't forget to buy your Tickets
Of the
81. Louis, Memphis, Nashville and Ctatta-
nOoga Great Through Line.
JOHN w. THOMAS,
Genl Superintendent
w. L. DANLFY,
Genl p & T. Agent. y
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21

A physician has discovered that the
nightmare in nine cnses out of ten, is
produced from owing bill to the prin-
ter.
The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-21
IT LEADS TO HAPPINESS
A Boon to the Whole Race
of Woman!
DIR. }. BRADFIELD'S
Female r egulato !!

IT WILL bring on the Nenses relieve all pain
L at the monthly "PeriOd :" cure Rheuma-
tism and Neuralgia of Back and Uterus; Len
corrhea or "Whites," and partial PrOlapsus
Uteri check excessive flow, and correct all ir-
regularities peculiar to ladies'.
1t will remove all irritation of Kidneys and
Bladder; relieve COstveness purify the Blood;
give tone aud strength to the whole system;
clear the skin, imParting rosy hue to the
cheek and cheerfulness to the mind.
Ii is as sure a cure In all the above diseases
as Quinine is in Chills and Fever.
Ladies' can cure themselves Of all the above
diseases without revealing their complaints to
any one, which is always mortifying to their
pride and molesty
1t is recommended by the best physicians and
the clergy.
LAGRANGE, Ca, March %, 1870.
Bradfeld & Co., Atlanta, Ga.-Dear Sirs IL
take pleasure in stating that have used for the
last twenty years the medicine you arc now put
ting up, known as DR.. j, BradHeld's Female
Regulator, and consider il the best combination
ever gotten together for the diseases for which
il is recommended. have been familiar with
the prescription both as practitioner of medi
cine and in domestic practice, and can honestly
say that consider it boon to suffering fe-
males, and can but hope that every lady In our
land, who may be suffering in any way peculiar
to their sex, may be able 10 procure bottle, that
their sufferngs may not only be relieved, but
that they may be restored to health and strength.
With my kindest regards, very respectful
ly, W. B. FERRELL, NJ. d.
NEAR MARIETTA, GA. march 81, 1870
Messrs. VIM Root 4 Son.-Dear Sirs Some
months ago bought bottle of Bradfeld's Fe-
male Regulator from you, and have used ii in
my family with the utmost satisfaction, and
have recommended il to three other families, and
they have found it just what it is recommended.
The females who have used your REGULATOR
are in perfect health, and are able to attend to
thcir household duties, and We cordially recon-
mend it to the public. Yours respectfully,
Rev. II. B. JOHNSON,
We could add a thousand other certificates
but we consider the above amply sufficient proof
of its virtue. All we ask is a trial.
For full particulars, history of diseases and
certificates of its wonderful cures, the reader is
referred to the wrapper around tho bottle.
Manufactured and sold by
BISAl FIELD 81 CO.,
Price $3.50. ATLANTA, GA.
Sold by all Druggists.
junel5, lilly
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-04-05
IRA RICHARDSON.

rEPoETER AND DEALER IN BOOCs. SHOES
F Furnishing Goods. rCrtuu0ry, Ac-r corner
d.. HHaarrs -rraars. HnaH.llu-
. seHl. tr rllr Haul-lau sap O.. orders received,
Hzr--rHl
Haa- z.-sa-.Ha pad o. tls Shipment u Goods 70 the
g-ly6
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-04-05
Practical Instructions

For he Employment Of hs Mono-Salphits Of
Lime Process in The Manufaaure Of Sugar.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-04-05
CHUNG HOON.

Commission Merchant and General Agent,
Importer Of Teas and other Chinese and Foreign Goods
Wholesale Dealer in Hawaiian Produce and Agent
Paukaa and Amauulu sugar Plantations Fire-proJf
Store Nuuanu Street, below King. 2t-ly6
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-04-05
nrHrmREHs A nRoMN.

IMPORTERS AED WHOLESALE DEALERS
-- E-H sats A.. Porter be, &C., Merchant Street
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14
MAKING SUNSHINE.

/
True dignity is never lowered by po'
liteness to the humblest in station, vel
many purse proud or naturally domi-
neering spirits forget to be polite, ex-
cepting to those considered equals.
The feelings of the poor laborer are
often wounded by orders, rebuffs and
snubs, and thus hurt. their feet and
hands almost refuse to perform the SER
vice which want and necessities Of life
compel them to undertake. A smile
and kind word would make their hearts
glad and their work seem light.
1t is indeed hard to perform thank
less tasks under a rod of severity and
naughty, wicked man>created pride,
which never "stoops to words Of SYM
pathy and encouragement to the toiler, ="
but yet stoops to meanness and oppres-
sion truly noble soul abhors.
1t costs so little to be kind, and
brings such rich reward that it is strange
so few invest. "If you please" and
"thank you" are too charity bestowed,
except in society where people assume
an exterior polished up for the occasion.
There is class, however, who never
speak harshly to interiors in mind,
pocket or position they are the real
gentlemen and ladies who bless the
world Genuine people of refinement
who, through years of elevating inhu-
ences have attained a standard where
they do not fear to treat everybody
with a gentle kindness and a degree of
familiarity which encourages the hum
blest creature and diffuses happiness.
Upstairs and would be somebodies. who
parade spurious pride lest somebody
will not call them quality, are the peo>
pie who are most severe with those be-
meath them in station. Ignorant and
coarse, they have only money to give
them precedence, and many times those
who do them menial service stand far
above them in the type of human ex>
cellence by which God measures each
of us at last.
There are comforts, however, of which
only our own actions can rob us, among
which is the consciousness of doing our
duty, and if we have that, the rudeness
and unbindness of others cannot take
away the self respect which sustains
noble spirits under heavy burdens
which otherwise could hardly be borne. !
Orl0u.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

A young minister, whose reputation
for veracity was not very good, once
ventured to differ with an old doctor of
divinity as to the efficacy of the use of
the rod, "Why," said he, "the only
time my father ever whipped me was
for telling the truth" "Well," rotor
ted the doctor, sit cured you of it,
didn't itY"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

In the depths of the sea the waters
are STILL the heaviest grief is that
borne in silence; the deepest love flows
through the eyes and.touch; thepurest
JOY is unspeakable; the most impress
sive preacher at a funeral is the silent
one whose lips are cold.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

A spirited girl observes that to her
mind the women who want female suf>
frage because it will cause division
in families must be a precious meek lot
A woman of any pluck can pick quar-
rel with her husband without waiting
to split on votes.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

1t seems that Brigham Young has
had quite a severe domestic afiliction
during the past few years-twenty-
seven of his mothers .in-law have died.
Mr.. Young has his sorrows as well as
joys by the wholesale.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

A lady in Shreveport, La, got the
idea into her head that the devil was
in her and hung herself. Now, if wo-
men go to hanging themselves for a
little thing like that, they are going to
be scarce, that's all.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14
BUILDERS HARDWARE.

Carpenters Tools of every description. axes,
hatchets, handaxes, planes, (beneh and
moldmg. and all kinds of fancy planes
plane irons. saws, (bench and panel,) an
gers, augcr bits, hollow augers. braces and
bits. English and American chisels,
framing and frmer, screw drivers, compas'
ses and diyiders, and all kinds of tools usu'
ally kept in FIRST CLASS
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

Let young men remember that their
chief happiness in life depends upon
their faith in women. No worldly
wisdom, no misanthropic philosophy,
no generalization can cover or weaken
this fundamental truth. 1t stauds H.
the record -
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-06-14

Some poetical chap describes ladies
lips as "the glowing gateway of pork
and potatoes" +"