Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-12-08
come on behalf of the burgomaster to

| lie SFaVoly uolu OUT MS arm 10 M0
I placed my thumb on the artery, and
speaking in a thoughtful tone, and with
pouted lip, said: .,.a ....
"Aha you are not so Ill as they say.n
"Ill /" he cried. .-.
No; you are not yet wholly out of
your wits.' ~ ... .....
These words sent him off into such
fits of laughter that Madame Schnaps
leaned over the stairs and peered down
into the cellar with wondering eyes.
"Sophia Sophia!' cried the apoth-
ecary, Cha! ha! ha! Do you know
what they say of me? Ha ha ha !!
They say I am out of MY wits !"
His wife made grimace, and hurried
away without answering.
Becoming little more calm, Hans
Schnaps said to me:
"Take seat, DR.. Benedum, and tell
me what has procured me the honor of
this visit ?''
He placed an armchair for me, and
seated himself on the box of daguer-
reotype apparatus, his long grasshopper
| legs sprawled wide apart, his elbows on
his knees, and his pointed beard drawn
out between his bony fingers.
His was truly strange physiognomy,
seen by the dim light admitted by the
cellar grating, and the vague CLEANS
that faded into shadow amid the thou
sand optical instruments added to the
singularity of the scene.
l simply related to him the conversa-
ton I had had with the burgomaster,
and Schnaps far from becoming angry,
.z.4 l.
That animal of a burgomaster," he
cried, "for whom have just invented
a new kind of syringe?-a superb dis
covery, DOCTOR And-ha! ha Observe
that spy glass it's the famous Schnaps'
syringe, unique of it's kind! With this
wonderful instrument I am able to ac-
complish what has never before been
possible-to syringe the brains of idiots,
imbeciles. cretins, and burgomasters gen.
orally! I pour into the body of the
pump a decoction of Voltaire, Shak-
speare or Father Malebranche; l deli
cately introduce into your eye the small
end of the instrument press, and,
crack!-you are filed with good sense,
poetry, or metaphysics
"Aha my dear FRIEND" said, an
excellent joke"
Joke mot the least in the world.
You are much too sensible, Doctor
Benedum, not to know that our opin-
ions depend upon our point of view; a
miserable beggar, without fire Or shell
ter, covered with rags, and with only
dunghill to lie upon, sees things in a
light very different from that in which
nabob looks on them; social order
appear to him detestable, laws alb
surd."
Doubtless, butt
But" interrupted Schnaps, seat
the fellow at splendid table, in a
beautiful house, surround him with
odoriferous flowers and pretty women
in magnificent dresses, feed him on the
daintiest dishes, let him drink Johannis-
berg, and place behind his chair a
dozen lacqueys who call him monseig
neur, highness, most eminent, etc; he'll
find that all is for the best in the best of
all possible worlds; social order will ap-
pear to him magnificent, and he will
proclaim our laws masterpieces Of hui
man wisdom"
"Agreed, my dear Schnaps, agreed;
what you now say is the history of hui
manity; we all look at things through
the great or small end Of the spy-glass,
as it may happen. But what the deuce
are you driving at?
"Ah ~ cried the apothecary, "it's
very simple. From the moment that
all depends on our point of view, the
question of happiness is reduced to
find the point of view that is the most
agreeable-and that is precisely the
merit of my discovery. Judge TOR
yourself"
He handed me his spy glass applied
it to my eye, and could not refrain from
uttering a cry of admiration. [ saw
myself President Of the Scientific Socie-
ty of Berlin, plump, ruddy and hearty,
decorated with the Order of Merit, of
the Black Eagle, of the Brown Eagle,
of the Red Eagle, Of the Legion of Hon
or, of the Garter, and others besides. I
held the bell, and called people to or
der. Through the windows of the am
phitheater [ saw my two-horse caleche
and my footman bedizened with lace.
Further off, [ saw my mistress, a
premiere danseuSe, captivated by my
charms, walking under the Endens, a
parasol in her hand-and l said to my
tunate being! sublime genius great
man !"
A burst of ironical laughter drew me
from this profound contemplation. |
lowered the spy-glass and found my
self in the cellar, in front of the apo
thecary, who was watching me, his
little malicious eyes wrinkled to his
| ears.
"Well, well," he said, "what do you
think of that?"
"Oh, my dear Schnaps," exclaimed,
4" let me have It'll"
"a good Joke p he cried; "you for
get that it cost me ten years labor to
make it. With this spy glass the uni
verse belongs to me, after manner; !
can see my wife, young, pretty, prepos
sessing; am always gay, laughing and
contented. This spy-glass lifts me
above the most powerful monarchs of
the world; renders me richer than
Cresus, more omnipotent than Xerxes; !;
| I would not lose it for the world That
is not all with this spy-glass I can
give myself injected doses of good
sense, poetry, or metaphysics, accord
ing to the requirements of my tempera-
| ment." vr.t,
"But, in the name of heaven,
Schnaps," 1 replied, transported with
enthusiasm, "how did you make this
sublime discovery"
at is not so marvellous as you be-
lieve," he said, laughing; it is nothing
more nor less than a kaleidoscope, but
a kaleidoscope of a new kind instead
| of allowing flowers and bits of glass to
fall at hazard it draws them together in
a natural color. In other terms, it is a
combination of the telescope and the