Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-03-05
TERRENCE MIGRANT.

About the CarnivaE-Drtnking with
the Radical Party-Another swim
dIe-Ths spots Disappear on ths
COach-dOg-G. Washington and G.,
Rant-Bridget Making n Leg go a
| Good Ways.
Correspondence Of the New York Democrat.
WASHINGTON, Febyouary Twenty a.
MIsTHER IDIoToR: Me cousin Misses has
given me furlough of twenty-five min
utes to get sober and with yez lether,
| so if the lether is short and shows wi.
dences of inebriation, yez can lay it till
the carnival we are having here. Be ia
bers haven't seen such a crowd here be-
fore since the sutler appointments were
given out for the army, and the loyalty
of these visitors is unquestioned. don't
suppose there are hundred dimecrats In
the whole crowd. know this from the
| fact that all that are here insisht on
| drinking wild me cousin Ulisses. Me
cousin wouldn't care if they come regi-
ment or so at time, but begorra, the
whole hundred thousand paple that are
here want to drink wild me cousin at the
same time. Yesth -Tday Gineral Dint
formed them in line so they would come
up one at time, as yc git tickets at cir
Gus, and would ye behave it, the line
reached from the Finite House out across
the Chain Bridge as far as the Alexsn-
dris Soldiers Cemetery. 1t was form
| liable array of drinkers, and whIn me
cousin saw them, even he was appalled,.
He was sad because it was impossible to
driv, oil nf ha 60
'Teddy, shall have to call upon yez
to help ME out of this schrape' l will
go on posht at the bar and drink wild
them an hour, when you mustn't relave
me while l go out and relave meself. If
we can how'd out to drink all around wild
this crowd, it will be a great point in our
favor politically, as these paple are from
all the different Shtates."
towld me cousin / would shtick till
him as long as was able to raise glass
to me lips, and we commenced. Be the
powers, it was the hardesht days work l
lver did. From early morn till jewey eve
we tuck them as they came up, and if
they are not satisfied wild the policy of
this Government be this time, thin they
are not aisily PLACED. If yez were liver
Brigadier Gireral, and liver thried to
drink whole brigade drunk in detail,
ye can form something of an idea Of the
job we had. Me cousin Ulisses got
sick at half past five o'clock, and
whin l howlded out till eight o'clock
ia the evening, and went till his
room and towld him that held out faith
full till the ind, he said ne had lOsht faith
in human nature. He said he thought he
could bate me drinking, but l was more
talented than he was. About midnight
me cousin began to howl, and l whit till
his room wild Bridget and found him wild
one of his shpells. He had geological
exhibition of his own, composed princi-
pally of shnakes, and to place him and
get him quiet, Bridget and meself tuck
brooms and shwept imaginary shnakes
out doors until he got quiet. Be jsbers
we don't want Ony more carnivals in
ours. Gineral Dint was moighty jealous
of me because me cousin detailed me to
dhrink inshtead of him.
Probably niver before in the hishtory
of this country has President had SO
many frauds to contind wild as me cousin
Ulisses has had. In this remark l don't
wish to be considered SIS abiding to his
relatives, though the Lord knows there
are frauds enough connected wild the
family to set any ordinary man crazy. 1
have reference to outsiders. To give yez
an incident. Ye mind that not long since
/ towld yez q man in Illinois made me
cousin present of shp0tted coach dog,
and me cousin, in the goodness of his
heart, appointed the gintleman poshtmas-
ter at the town where the dog came from.
Me cousin fairly dotted on that dog, fra
quently neglecting his family to play wild
him, and count the black sphcts, and
wonder how In the world nature could put
them on 30 aven, and of such uniform
size. Well, sir, would yez behave it l
dunnol Gradually the dog begun to turn
pale, the beautiful black shpots became
brown. He was not fast cOlors. He
wouldn't wash. As sure as l am born,
to-day there isn't shpot on that dog. He
is as white as the driven shnoW. Ne
cousin was SHOW to behave There was ony-
thing wrong wild the dog. He noticed the
shpOts getting paler livery day, and thought
the dog mustn't be sick. He examined his
tongue, and gave him pills, but all to no
effect, as the dog kept bleaching until at
lasht me cousin losht all hope of being
able TO set the color in the dog, and finally
he come to the sad conclusion that he
had been shwind,ed be having a dog
palmed off on to him that had his shpOts
painted on. This is the second time me
cousin has been shwindled be Illinois
men. About year ago, ye reminder; a
man STINT him coon, which, upon close
examination, turned out to be shkunk.
Such episodes try mans patience. Ne
cousin says he had rather have been pre-
scented wild house and lot than to have
had that dog turn white on his hands. A
white dog is of no account here. Even
butchers look On them with disdain. Me
cousin wrote to the Illinois postmaster
for an explanation, but all the answer he
got was copy Of the old tenure Of office
law. Me cousin says he learns white
dogs are in fashion in New York. If
this is so we would be obliged to yez if
ye would sell him, or her, as the case may
be, for US.
But l mustn't close me lether, as to day
IS the great day here, on account of the
circumstances of Washington's being
born about this sason of the year, some
time since. Me cousin wishes me to
mention to you as singular coincidence
that two great men, Washington and
himself, were born SO mare each other,
George having arrived on the 22d of Feb
ruaTy, while me cousin commenced life
on the LIST of April. Less than two
months difference in their ages, is It ony
wonder they should both be great ?
Divil the wonce. Me cousin SAYS il
George had been educated at Wesht
Point, and had ony chance to build up a
military riputation for himself, he might
have been one of the foremosht men of
the country. One sarious loss to George,
he niver had cousin Terence to shtand
betune him and danger.
Bridget says she is having throuble in
the kitchen to day, thryirg to make a leg
of mutton answer for a dinner for 275
hungry relatives who will be here to ate
to-day.
l mustn't now go and relave me cousin
drinking wild the loyal voters of America.
Yers, copper bOttomed inside wild shate
iron, TERENCE MIGRANT.