The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-03-19
be- Star and Catholic Messenger
WIT AND w1sDon.

ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MARCH 10. ISM.
>->~>~-->~~>~~~~~-~-~-~
WIT AND WIsD0M. Sas
ell-known banker Of Iowa City has
burned from Europe. On being asked
10 thought of Pompeii, he card, ~ II
elegant place, but q good deal out
air. NJ 80 "a
said that the man who WON'T take u
because he can borrow one, has In
"a machine with which he can cook
ner by the smoke Of his neighbor's
ey.
rtain clergyman, who last week had.
rcOat and an umbrella stolen rom
N, thinks that the thief 10 likely to
% in world where neither overcOat
,brella will be essential to comfort.
lady entering the reception room Of
bite House, q gentleman asked her
He was told it was . Mrs. Hobson
ch he said he had often heard vi
MS choice, but had never seen 1t be-
an, being awakened by the captain
kssenger steamer with the announce
khat he must not occupy his berth
lis boots on, considerably replied,
g won't hurt 'em; they're an old
sc Jane, )" said an exasperated wife,
ID it was a custom for women to
knsbands as it is for Nen to trade
"Why, my dear ~ Because if
I'd cheat some woman before sum
VI emaciated Irishman having called
sian in his last extremity, the doctor
huge mustard plaster and sppliedt
poor fellow. Doctor, dear, said
rikes me that's a dale OF mustard
ftle mate"
fulous fop, who had annoyed by his
remarks his partner in the BALL
mOng other empty things asked
".she had ever had her ears
mo-" was the reply, :" butI've
D them bored"
(who had forgetfully left bis pock-
pm the piano last nightl Have
b any thing, AngeIinaf" Angelo
yes, dear! Thanksi I have or
Jew piano stool, some lace curtains,
o love of q bonnet"
boy who had imbibed more Of
America spirit than politeness,
" Cst lo5O u ohhO VI VA ~ Aty 4VA PtSh~
sc. "It's my nose," he replied,
and I'll pick thunder ont Of it if
G3pd to-
10 man who passed around a plate
Sious meeting for contributions for
hen, and then pocketed the money,
- acquitted by jury of the vicin-
fbe ground that he was the greatest
they knew, and therefore justly
to the money.
ilitor and his wife were walking out
dght moonlight evening. Like all
wives she was of an exceedingly
nature, and said to her mate, "No-
it NOON" Couldn't think of mott
for anything less than our usual
&Ienty cents q line"
- in Covington, KY, made bet
eould drink a pint and a half Of
kti whisky in twelve hours. He
5 bet, says the Louisville Courier,
widow remarked at the funeral the
&y that it was the first money he
med by hard work in ten years.
q is a town in the State of Maine
Random. A resident of the place,
"a travelling, was once arrested ON
barge and taken before a magistrate
ned him where he lived. The ira
Md he lived at Random, and was
seing committed as q vagrant, when
lanation took place.
ebitious night editor, with lean
Aetaphor, headed dispatch relating
fab beligerency with "The British
waking his Mane," and on taking up
Dot the next morning for the pleasure
~ his brilliant conception in print,
rrifed to find it metamorphosed into
British Lion Skating in Maine"
iy, walking down town, saw little
rehing his younger brother, who
ying bitterly. "Why, my boy" said
the young tormentor, don't you
you are doing very wrong7 What
Hou do if YOU should kill your little
g" "Wby," he replied, /" of course
a put on my. new black pants and so
Funeral"
g have lost your baby, / hear" said
btleman to another. eyes, poor lit
sg, it was only five months old. We
we could for it. We had four doc
isteied its head and feet, put mus
pnltices all over it, gave it nine calo-
pwders, lceched it's temples, had it
nd gave it all kinds of medicines,
t, after weeks illness, it died"
hrteen-year-old girl was witness in
It Indiana divorce suit, and portion
evidence vas as follows: Father
ID because mother starched his stock
Mother picked up the stockens and
her on the head with them, and 1t
d as though they were sticks of
Father then stuffed a hot buckwheat
l.
t the dog on father, aud twisted the
all IN m Ira him hita hardprO