davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

A farmer, who wished to invest the ac-
cumulation of his industry in United States
securities, went to a brokers' Office to OBJ
tain treasury notes. The clerk inquired
What denomination will you have them,
sir 2 Having never heard that word used
excepting to distinguish religious sects, the
farmer, after little deliberation, replied:
Well, you may give me part in Old School
Presbyterian, to please the old lady, but
give me the heft ont in Free Will Baptist
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

A candidate travelling through one of the
rural precincts of a certain country, few
days since, rode up to farmhouse, and
thus accosted a tow-headed urchin who
was seated upon the top of the gate post ::
Bub, where's your pap The youngster
replied Pap's just gone down beyond
the COW shed to dig grave to bury the
old dog Trowser. The darned old fool
killed himself barkin at candidates for
sheriff
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

How, said the Lord A, to friend who
wished to convey matter of Importance
to young lady, how can you be certain
of her reading the letter, seeing that you
have directed it to her husband That
| have managed without the possibility of
a failure, was the answer. She'll open
it for certainty, for have put private
n the corner
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING

Forone Square of 12Iines or less of NeBpeIeI
type one insertion, $100; for each subsequent II
sertlon 25 cents. Unless the number OF in" ertons
are marked the advertis 1t will be contln1
ed TIL ordered out. Liberal discount made TO neA
chants and others advertising by the year
Probateand Commits missioner'sNotices. $2.Ooeaeh
For notices of Liberations, ,Estrays the foIma
ZION and Dissolution of CopartnershIps, &C; 80
each, Tor three insertions. IF sent by MAIL the
money mustaecompany tn el etter.
Noueesin news columns, 10 cents perlir eacn
Insertion, but charge made o. less than so cents
Notices of Deaths and Marriages inserted gratis
but extended Obituary Notices Poetry wiilbe
charged by the rate of five cents perline.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

The Utica Observer says that the Clear
field Fair consisted of calf, a goose and
a pumpkin, and that it rainsd so hard the
first night that the goose swan off, the calf
broke loose and ate the pumpkin, and a
thief prowling around stole the calf and
that ended the fair
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

Monograms have broken out fercely
in two new places-the corners of gentle
mems collars and the gauntlets of ladies'
gloves.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

The following is the true story of Mary
and her little lamb:
Mary had little lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb 1t would not 60.
SO Mary took that little lamb
And beat il for spell;
The ia nily had it fried next day
And it went very yell
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-15

His remains rest in the old cemetery,
on the right hand side Of the central walk
as we enter. and persons who desire to
visit the spot can easily find it.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
A Family Of Giants.
From the Kansas City Bulletin.

1.-The southern portion of Jackson
county and the neighborhood of Lone
Jack is enjoying the sensation of a
nine days wonder: They have discov-
cred family Of extraordinary size.
From party Of sight-seers from this
county we learn as follows concerning
them: They arrived in Jackson county
about two months ago, and took up
their abode in the woods. The party
found them living in shanty devoid Of
windows and without floor. The light
was admitted through hole in the
roof, which also served as chimney.
The party were received by man
eight feet and six inches in height, who
introduced them to his wife and daught-
er, the latter a mere child, not more
than twelve years old, and whose pro-
portions were even more remarkable
than those of her father. Her name is
Rose Plummer, and though not yet in
her teens, she is larger than the largest
Of men, standing nearly seven feet high
and proportionately large otherwise.
The man appeared to be glad to
welcome the visitors, and invited them
to dine. The visitors were surprised to
see mo table, but that was soon supplied
by two trestles and a few planks laid
ppon them. They were also without
dishes or -crockery of any and; the
food, consisting of plain corn cake, was
served up on shingles. The party
appreciated more than they enjoyed the
fare. Plummer says he came to Mis-
souri,, last December, FROM Indiana,
snd is inclined to think he has made
mistake in his vocation, and proposes to
Abandon farming and take his girl and
start out in show this spring. He
,ays his fortune is made {" if Rose don't
1uit growing" He remarked in reply
% a question as to whether he was not
annoyed by The visits of the curious
I" Well, no, / don't care as much as
.he gal does. I don't charge nothing
or shown of her to the neighbors, who
nave been kind to us since we came
lere, and besides it will get her used
;oobeing looked at, so she will not mind
he show business next summer"
The mother of the girl is not more
han the ordinary size, and seems to
wonder at the curiosity manifested by
ight-seers.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
At Arlington.
BY JAMES R. RANDALL.

The broken column, rearedin air
To him who made our country great,
Can almost cast its shadow where
The victims of grand despair,
In long, long ranks of death, await
The last loud trump, the Judgment-Sun,
Which comes for all, and, soon or late,
Will come for those at Arlington.
In. that vast sepulchre repose ,,-.
b The thousands reaped from every fray;
The: Men in Blne who once uprose
In battlefront to smite their foes
Tho Spartan Bands who wore the Grey.
The combat DER, the death-hug done,
In summer blaze or winter SHOWS,
,-s's They keep the truce at Arlington.
And, almost lost in myriad graves,
Of those who gained the unequal fight,
Are mounds that hide Confederate braves,
Who reck not how the North wind raves,
In dazzling day or dimmest night:
Der those who lost Ind those who won,
Death holds no parley which WAS right
JEHOVAH judges Arlington.
The Dead had rest; the Dove of Peace
Brooded Ger both With equal wings.
To both had come that great surcease,
The Last omnipotent release
From oil the worlds delirious stings-
To bugle deaf and signal-gun,
They slept, like heroes Of old Greece,
Beneath the glebe at Arlington.
And in the Springs benignant reign,
The sweet May woke her harp Of pines;
Teaching her choir q thrilling strain
Of jubilee to land and main,
She danced in emerald down the lines
Denying largesse brightto mono,
She saw no difference in tho signs
That told who slept at Arlington.
She gave her grasses and her showers
To all alike who dreamed in dust;
Her song.birds wove their dainty bowers
Amid the jasmine buds and flowers,
And piped with an impartial trust;
Waits of tho air and liberal sun,
Their guileless glees were kind and just
To friend and foe at Arlington.
And mid the generous Spring there came
Some women of the land, who strove
To make this funeral. fold. of fame
Glad as the May-god's altar-famo,
With rosy wreaths Of mutual love;
Unmindiul who had lost or won,
They. scorned the jargon of name;
No NORTH, no SoUTH, at Arlington!
Between their pious thought and God
Stood files of men with brutal steel,
The garlapds placed on "Rebel sod"
Were trampled in the common clod,
no die beneath the hireling heel,
Facing this triumph of the Hun,
Our Smoky Caesar gave no nod,
To keep the peace at Arlington.
Jehovah judged-abashing man
For, in tho vgils Of the night,
His mighty storm Avengers ran
Together in one choral clan,
Rebnking wrong, rewarding right;
Pluckiog the wreaths from those who won
The tempest heaped them dcwy bright
On REBEL graves 81 Arlington.
And whcn the Morn came ynung and fair,
Brimful of bushes ripe and red,
Naas sfsp Ssgnn SassPi baF ssPidss 5SsfS pray
Above triumphant Southern dead
So, in the dark and in tie sun,
Oar Cause ,muices the Tyro"t's tread,
And sleeps to rakc at Arlington!
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
T According to q Washington correspon.

T According to Washington correSpon.
dent, the counter claims of Great Britain, for
damages to the property of Englishmen in this
country, during the Confederate war, and in Can.
ada for injuries received by the citizens of the
New Dominion, during the Fenian raid, will prob
ably be insisted upon aud pressed in mitigation,
at least, of tho Alabama bill. It is even intima:
ted that the total damages from these sources on
their side, will run up considerably more than
the total on ours.
M9- 1t is stated that at e recent revival meet
ing in New Hampshire, one of the young brethren
arose and said that he had received revelation
from the Lord that itwas duty to kiss Sister -,
and she, nothing 10th, rejoined that if the Lord
was willing, she was, and the kissing was pro-
ceeded with then and there to the evident salts
faction of both parties.
Nsr "Three things" said the Rev. DR.. Henry
" appeared to have been uninjured by the fali'
the song of birds, the beauty of flowers, and the
smile of infancy, forit is difficult to conceive
how either of these could have been moro perfect
had man remained holy as if God would leave
us something pure to remind us of that Paradise
we have lost, and to point us to that which We
shall regain"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Boy Love-.

Oneof the queerest things to think Of
in after life is boy love. No sooner does
a boy acquire tolerable stature than
he begins to imagine himself a man,
and to ape mannish ways. He casts side
glances at all the tall girls he may meet,
Carries a cane, holds his head erect, and
very soon, falls in love-yes, falls is the
proper word, because it best, indicates
bis: happy, delirious self-abasement. He
lives now in fairy region, somewhat
collateral to the world, and yet blended
somehow inextricably with it. He per-
fumes his hair with fragrant oils, scat
ters essences over his handkerchief, and
despairingly shaves and anoints for a
beard. He. quotes poetry in which
nlove," and dove" and " heart, and
" dart" peculiarly predominate; andhe
plunges deeper into the delicious laby-
rinth, fancies himself filled with divine
afflatus, and suddenly breaks into a
scarlet rash-of rhyme. He feeds upon
the looks of his beloved; is raised to
tile SeVeuGu uedFeu IL eno SJeesno q
pleasant word, is betrayed into the most
astonishing ecstacies by a smile; and is
plunged into the gloomiest region OF
misanthropy by frown. He believes
himself the most devoted lover in the
world. There never will be another
such. He is the great idolater. He
dotes upon the flowers she has cast
away He cherishes her glove-a little
worn in the finger, next to his heart.
Happy! happy foolish boy love- with
It's joys and its hopes, and its fears, its
sorrows, its jealousies, and its delights,
its raptures and its tortures, it's ecstatlc
fervors and terrible heart-burnings, its
solemn ludicrousness and intensely pro-
saical termination.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
A Horse for a Wife.
srom the Windham Conn. Journal

These wife sales are getting numerous
nowadays. Week before last we gave
an account of case at Jewett, where a
wife was sold for IS cents. Now we
49, =; :, ;;aoqrd-a. milH transaction
which took place in Ashland. In this
instance the wife was traded for a
horse.
Milo Waterman has endured the
thraldom of married life for some
years, but lately the fetters have become
calling, and consequently very un-
pleasant, and he resolved to throw off
Che yoke and proclaim himself free
But it is not an easy mltter to shake
off such a responsibility as a wife, and
our friend Waterman was in a guam
Diary. He didn't know exactly what
to do, and the more he pondered, the
more difficult seemed to be hissituation.
Finally, one day last week, Milo ran
across neighbor named John Milford,
who is ever ripe for bargain, and
after some conversation, in, which they
descanted on the respective merits of
wife and horse, bargain was struck
up" Mulford was tc take Watermans
wife, and Waterman Mulford's horse.
Waterman took his horse home, put
lin in the stable, and retired. But he
tould not sleep. He tossed nervously
,pon, his pillow, and began to think of
lis wife, True, they had their ups
md downs" but, after all, hadn't she
sometimes been good to him Then he
hought of the many happy, moments
hey had spent together, of their love
md courtship, of their marriage, and
heir honeymoon, and Milo began to
'egret the trade. At last he could en-
lure it no longer. He got up, stole out
10 the barn in the dead Of the night,
took out the cid horse, and proceeding
to Mulford's, woke him up, and wanted
10 trade back. But Mulford couldn't
Zee it. Waterman begged, but Mulford
vasinexorable. After considerable bick-
ring, however, the latter agreed to let
Waterman have back his spouse, in
onsideration of q forfeit Of tOo birch
oGs
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Not Complimentary.

Apropos of the recent elections, the
following is capital, and will be especial
ly relished by gentlemen who have beer
unsuccessful in their aspirations for
Office:
In one of the towns of Pennsylvania
the freemen had for many years deposi-
ted their votes soidly for the Demo
cratic candidates. Such a thing as a
Whig or Republican was unknown, and
prior to the Grant and Seymour cam
paigm no local Republican ticket had
ever been run. AT that time, however,
the politicians of sanaadjacent township
thought it an opportune occasion to
attempt the establishment, in that
town, of Republican organization.
To this end they persuaded a certain
Mr.. Green, who had recently settled
there, to become their candidate for
some minor office, hoping to procure
for him few votes under the popularity
of the great name Of Grant, and thus
to get an entering wedge in the local
affairs Of the township.
The day of election arrived, but Mr..
Green was unable to get to the polls by
reason of sickness. In Que time the
returns were published, and Mr.. Green
had just one vote. Chagrined at this,
annoyed by the accusation that he had
voted for himself. he announced that if
the person who had voted for him
would come forward and make affidavit
to the fact he would reward him with
good suit of clothes A few mornings
afterward burly, stupid-looking Penn
sylvania Dutchman called upon Mr..
Green and abruptly remarked: II
wants dat suit of cloes.
"Ah !" said Mr.. Green, "then you
are the man who voted for me?"
Yah, I'm dat man
care you willing to make an affidavit
of it ?"
Yah, I swear to EN-"
Mr. Green, accompanied by the intel
Iigent voter, went to the. Office of the
justice OF the peace, and the required
affidavit was made; after which the
clothes were purchased and given to the
deponent.
So delighted was Mr.. Green to be
relieved from the unpleasantness of his
situation, and so glad to learn that
there was another righteous man in the
township, that he had taken the Dutch
mans Republicanism as matter Of
course. However, at parting, he said:
Now, my friend, you have your suit
of clothes, just answer me one ques
tion-How came you to vote for me ?"
"You wants to know dat ?"
Yes"
:. A. Ana ynn vnn't. go back on do eloas ?"
"veil," said he slowly, and with a
twinkle of the eye, den tole you; I
make mistake IN de ticket !"
Wash that consolatoryl Mr. Green
avows his unalterable determination
never again to appeal to popular suf
frage for public position.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Sherif's Sale.

John w. Delaugnter,
Fl Fa IN
W. NJ. Heath and Assumpsit.
S. W. Gardner,
5pY virtue of Writ Of Fl Fa to me directed in
I'D the above stated case, will proceed to sell
at Edgefed G.. H., on the first Monday in April
next, the following property belonging to S. W.
Gardner, to wit:
ONE TRACT OF LAND, containing Fifteen
Hundred Acres, more or less, adjoining lands of
Thos. L. Shaw, John.P. Mays, Elijah Horn and
others.
Terms Cash. Titles and Stamps extra.
JOHN II. McDEVlTT, SEC.
Mar IL 4ts lO
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Clergyman Refunds a Small Mar
riage Fee,

Anassociauion of Congregation minis
ers met in Oswego, New York, last
week, and the points of one unofficial
eport made at the gathering are thus
;iven by the Binghamton Republican;
A few days ago, one of the olergymen
aid a young man called upon him and
.sked him to oficiate at his wedding,
aging that the young woman whom he
Intended to marry lived twelve miles
way, but the marriage was to be at the
house of her uncle, onlv four miles from
he minister's house. The brevet groom
gave moderate fee in advance, bor.
owed the good mans buggy to bring
;he intended bride to the rendezvous,
md at the appointed time the clergy
nan reached there, as he could, and
'ound all ready. But just then the
young lady concluded she would not be
married. The groom told the minister
hat he guessed he could some day
induce her to change her mind and if
10, he should be called in. In few
lays he came around-the "gal had
,ome to her oats" but he was afraid she
night retreat again before he could take
Ter to her uncIe's; and to avoid all
,isk, he had called in a clergyman right
here, and made all fast, Sand now,
Elder" said he how about that fee I
gave you; you did not do the job ?"
The Elder intimated that he had loaned
aim his carriage gratuitously, and had
out in an appearance at the time and
,lace named, at some cost to himself,
md it was not his fault that he did not
10 the job. "Well, Elder" was the
in triumphant tone, " and SO
vas there, too, and it wasn't my fault
hat you did not do the job, and want
- morojj,." .. " And he got hismoney.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
The Baby.

What dad with soul as big as g
peanut is not ready to pitch into the
Individual that can't appreciate the
baby when he drops into the family
with his lungs in good condition and
the will to use them
T have one of those interesting
animals at my house. 1t came when it
rained like the devil, daik as pitch, and
my umbrella at .ihe store, no cars
running. The doctor living five miles
due west, and the nurse six miles due
east; and when I got home to the
bosom of my family the condensed
milk-man was at the next door. It's a
funny little chip. that baby: Solfer-
inc color, and the length of bologna
suasage. Cross? l guess not. I'm,
um: it commenced chasing me down
the pathway of life just when muslin,
linen and white flannel were the high
est they had been since Adam built a
hen-house for Mrs. Ewes chickens.
The doctors charge two dollars a
squint, four dollars a grunt, and on
account of scarcity of rain in the coun-
try, take what is left in a mans pocket,
no discount for cash, and send bill for
balance January !.
A queer little thing is that baby; q
speck Of nose like wart, head as bald
as a squash, and no place to hitch q
waterfall mouth just suited to come
the gum game and chew milk. Oh,
crackee you should hear it singl 1
have bumped it, stuffed my fur cap
down its throat, given it the smoothing
irons to play with, but the little red
lump that looks as if it couldn't holo
bloc enough to keep musleto from
fainting, persists in yelling like thun-
der. It shows great desire to swallow
it's fists, and the other day they drop
ped down its throat, and all that
prevented their going clean through
was the crook at its elbows: 1t stopped
its music, and I was happy for one and
a half minutes. It's pleasant thing
to have a baby in the house-one Of
your belly ache kind.
Think of the pleasure of father, in
dishabille, trembling in the midnight
hour, with his warm feet upon square
yard of cold oil cloth, dropping pare
goric in a teaspoon, by moonlight, the
nurse humping on the door, wife of
your bosom shouting hurry, and the
baby yelling till the fresco drops from
the ceiling. It's nice time to think
of dresscoats, pants, ties and white
kids. Shades Of departed cocktails,
what comfort, what a picture for an
article in plaster of Paris It's mother
says darling is troubled with wind on
the stomach; it beats all the wind
instruments you ever heard of, have
to get up in the cold, and shiver while
the milk warns; ituses the bottle. I
have cradle with the representation
of miraculous soothing syrup bottle on
the dash board.
I tried to stop it's breath the other
night; I rocked SO hard, I missed stays
and sent it slap clear across the room,
upsetting a jar Of preserves. It didn't
make any noise, then? Oh, mol Its
mother says only wait till it gets
bleached Gt's been. vaccinated, and old
enough to crawl about and feed on
pins. Yes, I am going to wait. Won't
il be delightful 2-John, run for the
doctor, huu has fell in the slop pail and
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23

is choking with potato skin; bud has
fell down stairs has swallowed the
tack hammer; showr signs ofthe mumps,
croop, hoopingcough, smallpox, collie,
dysentery, cholera infantum, or some
other darned thing, to let the doctor
take the money laid by for my winter S
corn beef, and all that comes of my
shampooing and curling my hair, wear
ing nice clothes and looking handsome,
going a courting and making my wife
fall in love and marry me.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Sherif's Sale.

1,,'',: s,,., :: :: ...'...' ..'...'' Hr..
my virtue of Writ OF Fl Fa to nee directed in
I'D tho above stated case, will proceed TO sell
Mt Edgeield C: IL, on the first Monday in April
next, the following Real Estate, levied upon as
belonging to the Defendant, to wit:
ONE TRACT OF LAND, containing Thirteen
Hundred Acres more or less. adjoiniug lands of
E. Devore, Seabron Stalnaker ond others.
Terms Cash Titles and Stamps extra.
JOHN h. McDEYITT, SEC.
Mar11 4te 12
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Sherif's Sale.

Q. W. Carwile, Adm'or,
vs
Andrew Meyer, Fl Fa in Debt.
B. L. Boatwright and
Samuel Posey.
IN pursuance of an Execution, to me directed
4 in the above stated case, will sell at Edge
field G. e., on Monday, the 3rd April next, the
following described property belonging to the
Defendant, to wit:
ONE TRACT OF LAND containing Two Hun
dred and Forty Acres, more or less, adjoining
lands of Jackson Holmes and Jesse Gomillion
and others.
Terms Cash. Titles and Stamps extra.
JOHN II. McDEVITT, S. E. c..
Mar IL 4tA IL
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Sheriff IS Sale.

H. S. A. Poole, late Sheriff of
spartanburg County, and others, FLA.
VS..
W. B. Dorm.
DY Virtue OF an Execution to ME directed,
Id in the above stated case, will sell at
Eagefeld C. e., on the first Monday in April
next, the following property belonging to the De-
fendant to wit:
ONE TRACT OF LAND, containing Seven
ty-fve Acres, more or less, adjoining lands of
j. A.. Talbert, Mrs. Adalne Blackwell and others.
Terms Cash. Titles and Stamps extra.
JOHN II. McDEVITT, S. E. C.
Mar IL Ate IL
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-23
Sherif's Sale.
II. W. Addison,
vs. E1
Execution.

II. W. Addison,
vs. EXECUTION.
w. J. Smith,
ueY virtue of all Execution to ms directed, in
ND the above stated case, will proceed 20 sell
at Edgefeld C. H., on the irsr Monday in April
nexr. the following properly belonging TO the De-
fendant, to wits
ONE TRACT OF LAND containing One Hun
dred and Fifty eight Acres, more or less, adJoln-
ing lands of jacob Lagrone, A j. McCarty and
others.
fR Terms Cash. Titles and Stamps extra.
JOHN II. McDEYITT, s. E. c.
Mar. IL Ate II