The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-05-16
Corning State aallrnal.
TUESDAY EVENING, MAY ls, 1871.



A WAC advertises baby jumpers al
"spring goods"
CAN lover be called sutton when ht
don't suit her
The sinners of war-Sutlers who seek
the bubble reputation at the soldiers
mouth.
WYOMING must be servant girls para
disc, for they get there 81 week and have
the privilege of voting.
ONIONS are said to be good for nervous
people. We know some people whom
onions make very nervous.
A San Francisco hardware dealer, In
advertising revolvers for sale, announces
that he will also furnish "objects for prac-
tice."
A Mr.. Forbes has been shot for "per-
sonally insulting" the people of Cheyenne.
He attempted to deliver emperance lee
ture there.
ETooth ache matinees are said to be call
the rage" among the young folks addicted
to maple-sugar munching this month.
Even the derided organ-grinder as his
good ponts-he supplies to the pent-up
poor one of the greatest luxuries of life-a
change of air. 'w
An old fellow went to dine at chop
house, and, after waiting some few min
utes. gruff1y asked the waiter, "How long
will my chop he?" "About five inches,
sir" was the reply.
To be great orator is great distinc-
ton; but successful public speaker pays
heavily for his popularity, for how un-
comfortable it must be for him, when
whole assembly hangs upon his lips.
A stone-cutter in Ohio has achieved inn
mortality for himself by tracing on a
tombstone the assertion that the little
child buried beneath "was an angle on
earth, and now she is an angle 10 heaven"
Among those who went to see the Car
diff giant in New Haven, was middle
aged man who had lost his brother by a
mysterious disappearance, and was heard o
murmur as he stepped quickly away,"It
amt him !"
The head Of Vermont railroad shop
was applied to for permission to work on
Fast Day by couple of men who were
noted for their laziness. Permission was
given, "for," says the chief, "you can't
either of you work hard enough to break
the day."
The Chicago papers announce that the
grave of Douglas, in that city, is to be
sold for taxes. 1t appears in communi-
cation from the city collector to the Coun-
Gil, that an assessment Of S., 200 for i'm
provements had been made upon the
ground wherein reposes all that was NOR
tai of the Little Giant, and that as the
courts have given judgment he shall be
compelled to proceed.
A thick headed squire, being worsted
by Sydney Smith in an argument, took his
revenge by exclaiming: eff had a son
who was an idiot, by Jove, I'd make him
parson p "Very probable" replied Sgd
ney, "but see that your father was Of
different mind"
A venerable farmer living near the
Hoosac Tunnel was called upon to give an
opinion on that great enterprise. Shaking
his head, he said: II have lived here
abouts, off and on, about forty years. and
my opinion is that eff was the Common
wealth of Massachusetts,, and hadn't gone
into't and got as fur es you hev, my opin-
ion is that I don't know what | should do
about it,"
The Rev. F. Southgate, vicar of North
fleet, informed his congregation on Easter
day that as buttons, bad money, and
other things not fit for MENTION" were put
in the offertory bags, the collections would
in future be made in open plates.
WASHINGTON corresnondent in his
ren,in;scancas nf prevost Paradol tho ,ote
French minister IN this country mentions
that when Paradol was Graduated At COL
defended on the grounds held by the an
cient stoics.