Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-09-07
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A nODEL LOVE LETTER.
A Breach of Promise Szit---Th
Raptures of Cupid.

Il
Raptures of Cupid. i
From the BnfJalo Commercial advertiser. i
Mvres u Adans-This was one Of
those rare and peculiar cases-breaeh OF
Drolnise Of marriage occupledl
the greater part of the forenoon. From
fhe evidence it appears that the pardest
hoth lived in or near Onondaga, thatI
Harris had been frequent visitor for
about two years and a half at the house
of the plaintiffs widow woman near
Iy thirty years OF age, with three chill |
dren, tseems to have been the opin-I
ion of the friendsef the plaintiff tand
no doubtehe thought so herself that
Harris would marry her; but he lHar-
risl. froinsome unaccountable cause, al
few months ago. suddenly discovered
that believed another young lady bet
fer. and verified the belief a short time
since by marrying that other lady.
Hence this action was brought by the
nIaintiff to recover damages, to apply
rs a salye to her. wounded affections
The following tender epistle, sent by
the loving swain, will interest our rea-
ders. and we recommend it as a model
love letter.
ssMy Dear Mrs. A:-Every time i
think of you my heart fops up and
down like q churn-dasher. Sensations
of unutterable joy caper over it like
youag goats on stable roof, and thrill
through it ike Spanish needles through
q pair of tow linen trousers. As gos-
ling swimmeth with delight in a mud
puddle SO swimI in a sea OF glory.
Visions of extatic rapture thicker than
the hairs of of backing brush
and brighter than the eyes Of a hum
ming birds pinions, visit me in my
slumbers. and borne on their invisible
wings your image stands before me,
and I reach out to grasp it like point
er snatching at a blue bottle ny.
When first beheld your picture l was
bewildered, and my brain whlried
around like n bumble-bee under a glass
tumbler. My eyes stood open like Gel,
lar doors in country town, and L lHted
up my ears to catch the silvery accents
OF your voice. My tongue refused 70
wag. andinsilent alteration drank IN
the sweet infectionof love as a Thirsty
man swallow a tumble of hot whisky
punch.
s.Since the light of your face fell upon
NV life Isometimes feel as if cOulC
lift myself up by my boot-Straps 10 tht
top of the church steeple, and pull the
F, bell rope for singing school. Day ano
night Won are in nv thoughts. WheI
Aurora, bIushirg like a bride, rise
from her saffron colored couch; wheI
the iaybird pipes tunefu lay in the ap
pIe tree by the spring house; when thu
chanticleer's shrill clarion heralds th'
coming morn; when the awakening
pig arises from his bed and grunteth
and goeth for his mornings refresh
ments; when the drowsy beetle wheel
to droning fight at sultry noontide
and when the lowing herds come hom
at milking time, think of thee; ant
like !. a, piece of gum elastic, M
heart seemed stretched clear across m
hosom. Your hair is like the name OF
sorrel horse powdered with gold; an
the brass pins skewered through you
waterfall ill me with unbounded awe
, Your forehead is smoother than tn
elbow of an old coat. Your eyes az
glorious to behold. In their Iqui
depths Isee legions of little cupids batf
ing. like a cohOrt of ants IN an old arm
cracker. When their fire hit me upo
my manly breast, it penetrated m
whole anatomy, as a load OF blrdshC
through rotten apple. Your nose
from a chunk. of Pariaa marble, an
your mouth is puckered with swee
ness. Nectar fingers on your lips, liz
honey on bears paw; and myriads I
unfiedged kisses are there, ready to Il
out and light somewhere, like blu
birds out of their parents nest. Yol
laugh rings in my ears like the win
harp's strain, or the bleat of lamb
a bleak hillside The dimples on yoi
cheeks are like bowers in beds of rose
or hollows in cakes of home mao
Il am dying to fly to thy presenc
and pour out the burning eloquence
my love, as thrifty housewives pour, OF
hot coffee. Away from you / am
melancholy as sick rat. Sometimes
can hear the June bugs ofdesponden(
buzzing in my ears, and feel the co
lizards of despair crawling down n
back. Uncouth tears, Ike a thousar
minnows, nibble at my spirits; and n
soul is pierced with doubts like an o
cheese is bored with skippers.
"My love for you isstronger than Il
smell of Coffey,s patent butter, or Il
kick of a young COW, and more unst
fish than kittens first caterwaul. 1
a song bird bankers for the light ofda
the cautious mouse for the fresh bact
IN the Trap, dS He4u pup u<AhhSio
new milk, so long for the.
"You are fairer than a speckled pr
let, sweeteF than a Yankee doughn
fried in sorghum molasses, bright
than topknot plumage on the head
amuscovy duck. You. are candy, kis
es, raisins, pound cake, and-sweeten'
toddy altogether. y H. EsLLt-.ea
ssIf these few remarks will enah
you to see the inside of my soul, al
me to win your affections, l shall be
happy ass woodpecker on a cherry tire
or stage horse in a green posture.
you cannot reciprocate my thrilli
passions, will pine away like poise
ed bedbug, and fall away; from u fiol
ishing vine of life, an untimely branC
and in coming years, when the sha
ows grow from the hills, and when t
philosophical frog sings his cheer
evening hymns, you, happy IN anOi
efs love, can come and crop a tear a
catch a cold on the last resting place
Yours affeetionately, "B
Verdict for plaintiff, and 800 dal
ages. ~ q q -
L i L L.,