The Ottawa free trader., 1871-05-20

On birdsne stsso upsn dpup pyd ogs
Shef atte nsu pandg rows
sol. stittn kcste nmil iuers
Tow1 deuo uthe rclot hes.
There are 1903 more verses, all equally inter-
esting with the above, if not more SOL
However, when translated into common elm
go' it is not 50 bad:
/ love girl with almond eyes,
And salmon colored nose,
She has queue of real store hair,
Her club feet they We no toes, &c.
A corouer's jury in Dodge county, Wis, lately
returned the verdict of death from hanging
around Il tavern"
The New York Ledyer mentions case beyond
the ordinary oculst. 1t is that of II young lady
who, instead of n common pupil, has Columbia
College student in her eye.
The Freeport BuNet1n calls the Ku klux bill,
lately passed as means Of compelling the south
ern states to support Grant for the presidency,
"Lynch Law"
We like to be humbugged, that is. when
everybody says the affair is going to be "splen-
did"-"can't be beat"-"best shOw in the world,'
ana such stuff Well, we listened, we believed
and witnessed. and the best thng we can say is,
Charley Shays show is trst.esss humbug, and
the fan of it Is he humbugged about 1000 peo-
PIE, and swind!ed the town out of about 5000
clean cash. That's what we call good-heat
Charley Shay, will you.---J0liet Republican.
The same here. Shay is travelling on his
reputation. His show is without exception the
best humbug Of the day. He ignores the opinion
OF the country press, and goes con his ear" Let
the county press pass him around.
An oil lniu y
drinking, said 'lt Is sitting on rocl, and sip
ping cold water"
A Portland man took 1t drink out of a lug
labeled "spirits termeut ~ and was nearly poison.
ed to death. He thought he was getting whisky.
but is was furniture polish. He is qaite pol
lshed gentleman now--on the inside
Looking from our Office window one day la,t
week, we observed an individual in II peculiar
state of mind, owing to the predominat,np in.
fuence of an overdose of "sperts," of which he
claimed he hadn't seen drop" He was seated
upon the pile of bricks, occasi0ned by the late
fire, and evidently trying to count them, one by
one. and threw them over his head with an
energy and perseverance that would have done
credit to a warrior. He would probably have
removed several ton of them had not his power
of locoinotion relaxed for want of another ten
cent promulyator The last we saw of him, he
was trying to pull the ferry boat across from the
opposite side Of the river, with this end of the
rope.-Nh"0ts (LGcon) !Statesman.
Last week while angling Tor bass or any other
kind of fish, we hooked and safely landed Pick.
erel weighing eleven pounds,-IrVguois RepuJ-
l0n.
Very we'll done, Mr.. Beatty What's your
bait-angle. worms, or--do YOU spit on YOUR
hook ?-Kankahee Times.
The military academy at West Point, we are
told, is to be entirely remodeled That is, the
number OK colore! cadets is to be indef efintely
increased, aud the faculty cut down to the freed.
mems bureau stendarl.--A GRAFT puper.
According to the Register, several lo,o cusses
have appeared in the locality of Clinton" They
are of the III year" kind.
Several hiyh cHSSeS might have been seen
around Ottawa last evening. They were of the
Il year old kn'
Tho Springfield Mass Rsoujitc,u savs:-
"Ihirty days ago, General F0ruey was II sharp
critic of General Grants administration twenty
days ago he was appointed Collector pt Philsiei-
phia to-day he has nominated Geusral Grant
for reelection" TO w'i,h ~, Cleveland H,rold
adds: That's Forucy, profession. Siuce be
was first known ~ "A poi iicj... he 1t, hunx uu;
the red vehdue nag "Auctiuu -.j- tuis q dsv" and
no man has been more successful shan he IN be-.
ihg knocked down To tie highest bidder
The Omaha Uerald OF last Thursday .,v,.
"Threc Butf4loes have rcucnei thi. .ity from III.
west. They are consigned 10 L. :. Grant ST.
Louis, and they vii! cplncri GA the PRECEDENT.
farm near this city" Tia. chap that zen. then.
Is suspected of wantiu. the Buff ,io colloctnr.hp
-Cosmop0Iih.
A New York merchant bills his removal !:
"Gone TO q Better Piece Above-No 1860"
The internal revenue department is to dispense
with the "Iice' spirit meire-Ex
Wonder how much it cost to get the change
madsY How much did Tice pay the virtuous
government to set his metre made the standard,
and how mach the other feller pays to get the
Tice thrown out
The happiest maH in Washington is PrsSid ent
Grant. He has no poor relations, and doesn't
believe in heli-Es.
"The glare d female lovelincss" struck n Ten,
nessec reporter.
Why didnnt he "glare back!