The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-05-13
:. BRYANT
VARIETY.

81 gTOcer-One who trusts.
Sr - brain on fire Blow it out
81 ns code-Keep to the right as the Lord
fbrehead extended to the gable end of his
leans he was bald-headed.
i, in reply to soine guests who praised
bn on the table, said, 81 Oh yes, my hus-
shys buys the best he is great epicac."
boy, upon whom his mother was inAict-
bnal chastisenent, said "go on, old
lou haven't made me good yet"
oman was philosopher who, when she
Isband, said she had one great consoIa-
knew where lie was o nights.
ihOis postmaster gives notice as follows
q bis date. everybody must lick their own
VI lamps. for my tongues given out"
+ frequently like tea-the real strength
zze6lbess Is not properly drawn out of them
.c5F have been short time in hot water.
=sr5 particular swain in Huntingdon sent
<zrfiage to the paper with the addition,
zraamOns." He said he despised abrevia-
<sr SUIrs.-ln Boston, poor man who less
+ !yar ago had only one suit of clothes, went
<1c newspaper business, and now has eight
+ seven of them are for libel
. y a good thing from Josh Billings lee
[Izan that starts on the day of his marriage
~ Lieutenant in his family, need never
3 q be promoted"
8 BstOn Post tells of man in Troy who
<cA riding house just because a rat bit off his
>faen people get to be that particular about
!, hey ought to quit boarding and go to
1E hOuse.
E4S OF BUsNEss.-Josh Billings defines a
rror- bred biziness man " as wun that
p cnuf about stealin' so't there kant enny
sieel from him, and enuff about law SO that
p % his steelin' legally"
ham Young says he would be willing to
~ half Ot his wives If he was certain they
Eet husbands who could - lead them To
n plvation.' In his uncertainty, he thinks
~ keep them for their own sakes.
F1s sIcian being asked by patient if he
5r<A little spirits now and then would hurt
u1I'h, replied, - do not kp"'s that a little
i0nHily would hur ryU -4u.- but If you
tale any it won't hIrl yJd H.
'vEz.-'' Are you connected tn a pauer
m hSked 4 cOuntryman Of aI tate OF the
ne Insane Asylum. oh. 100. was the
y Ia A have bees 20 the Inss s Asylum and
re man never runs a n,,Espa lrr after he
Aean man has now gone to reside in Prov
a b. 4. One OF his servants receives man,
<lcOm her friends in Ireland, and he sug
a that, as they came through his box, Sin,
& <t pay her share toward the rental of thu
nd ha H.aNs f.A -. 4.
p fravelers having been assigned to the same
l0n IN crowded hotel, one OF them, before
r4' knelt down to pray, and confessed long
'5ne OF sins. On rising from his knees he
- feliOw-traveler, yalise in hand, going Out
le door,. and exclaimed WHAT'S the
II What's up?'' "Oh nothing" wa,
sply, &c only I'm not going to risk mysel
such scamp as you confess yourself to be -
tlSDEPESDEST EDIToR.-An editor out West
Bought the wages demanded by composition
% imposition, discharged his hands, auC
'4s doing his own type-setting. He says:
OWING To The eXORbiTant WBgEs DE-
+eD by PrInleRs WE have Concluded To dc
own Yps sEuinG IN rue fUtu= e.:
-LThouGH We neUEr lEaIned Tqe BusI
zee do NOT See any gReGr m6sTery In tE,
n MAPs.-Speaking of the 80 War Maps, y
Fed' which many newspapers are now print
pa which appear to be Chinese puzzles, q
pporary says: '' They are easily made. A
Is first charged with powder, then a small
Of ink is placed on this charge and fred al
fe Of bOx-woOd; the block is then handed 70
ftist. who chips away all the surface not
n with ink-producing irst-class newspa-
pr map"
fry Ward Beecher says:
-here is nothing more offensive TO me than to
eeted in that rough religious way, We'll
er Beecher, how is your soul to-day 2 None
business. 1t is kind of familiarity that
relish. If my father was to come to me
'e Terry boat, and put his arm around nv
should look up with pleasure but should
'ngsr dc the same thing, should resent the
az an insult And what won't permit to
ne TO my body, shall not tolerate on my
hUSAwAY WHE's FAREwELL.-A married
"a IN Kansas, who recently eloped with a
md:
Ar dUssT-You're played out. like DR..
20 well that prefer going with him-you
degenerated cuss. It's none oil
business where we've gone TO. It won't do
any good to follow US, for I wouldn't live
'es DAY with you to save your life. You
Z mistake in thinking loved you. never
! married you for convenience sake. I take
Oaoy along, and III take care of it. You
Ie " Tor divorce and get married as soon as
Plsase. The woman who gets you next will
healthy old prize. Goodbye. Be yirtu-
100 you'll be happy Your LATE wur.