The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-05-06
ODS AND EMS.
BIZ JOSH BILLING s.

When she makes phool she means it.
hav finally cum tew the konklusion
that the majority of mankind kan be ed
ukated on the back better than in the
brain, for good clothes will often make a
phool respectable, while edukashun only
serves tew show his weak pints.
never knu a man yet whose name
waz GeOTye Washington LafGyeue Good
rich, Esq, and who alwuz signed his
name for the full amount, but what was
a bigger man on paper than he was by
natur.
AS gineral thing, an individual who
IL neat In his person IL neat in his NOR
ais.
Man IL my brother, and 1 konsider that
| am nearer related TO him through his
vices than am thru his virtews.
Thare is nothing about which the world
makes so few blunders, and the individu-
al SO menny, as mans aktuaI impor-
tance among his fellow critters.
A man with very small head IL like
a pin without emmy, very apt to get into
things beyond his depth
The pashuns Of an old man are often
like his teeth, they cease TO trouble him,
simply bekause the nerve is ded.
The only pedigree worth transmitting IL
virtew, and this is the very thing that
kant be transmitted.
Affectation has made more phools than
the Lord haz.
About the nearest tew absolute iusol>
vency that man kan git in this world,
and think he IL dieing rich, il leaving a
pedigree to his family.
| don't pretend tew have emmy less vile
pashuns than my nabors, but do despise
the person, most heartily, who caters to
those l hav got.
Thare IL no pashun of the human hart
that promises 50 much and pays SO little
as revenge.
Thare haint no man yet lived long
enuff in this world to doubt the infa llibiI-
ity ov his judgment.
Thare is this odds between a numerous
leckter and scientific one, you have got
to understand the humorous lecktur tew
enjoy it, but you kan enjoy the scientific
one without understanding it.
1t is but a step from zeal to bigotry,
but it IL a step that is most generally
taken.
Don't lay emmy certain plans for the
futur, it is like planting tuds, and expect
ing tew raze tudstools.
No man yet who had strength ov mind
enough ever resorted tew cunning. Gun
ming is half brother tew fear, and they
are both of them weakness.
A man who is good company for him
self is alwus good company for others.
Genuine praize consists in naming, a
mans faults to his face, and his good
qualities tew his back.
One ov the best temporary cures for
pride and affeciashun that have ever
seed tried iz sea-sickness; a man who
wants tew vomit never puts on airs.
A fault concealed is but little better
than one induiged in.
Witty speeches are like throwing stones
at a target, the more time spent in taking
aim, the less danger there IL in hitting the
mark.
| have aIwus noticed one thing, when
person bekums disguised with this
world, and konkludes to withdraw from
it, the world very kindly let's the person
went.
Woman haz no friendships. She either
loves, despises, or hates.
A day in the life of an old man IL like
one ov the last days in the fall ov the
year, every hour brings change in the
weather.
love tew see an old person joyful, but
not uptheheelsfull.
Human happiness is like the Houentot
language, emmy body kan talk it well enuff
but thare amt but phew can understand
it.
Gravity is no more evidence of wisdom
than a paper collar IL OF shirt.
Whatever Providence haz given US the
faculty tew do he has given us the power
to do.
Thare iz CRATE menny folks in this
world who are like little flies CRATE bores
without meaning or knowing it.
All the good injuns die young.