The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1871-09-20
EQUAL TO MARX TWAIN.

Newspaper. writer's will thoroughly
appreciate the following o'er-true tale,
which We take from the Philadelphia
Dispatch:
A week or two ago one Of our reporters
had occ sion to refer ~ certain woman,
whom we will call, Hannah Smith, as a
denizen Of the Eleventh Ward. A day
or two aftcrward huge man entered the
Office with his brow clothed with thunder.
in his hand he carried q fearful club, and
at his side trotted q bulldog whom hunger
had evidently made desperate. With
that quick appreciation Of the sitnation
which Is creditable to the superior intefli-
gence of educated men, the editor of this
paper and the proprietors darted to the
window, climbed outside, slid down the
lightning-rod, and went across the street
| to watchltho bloody fray through spy
glass yWithit the fesrlessness OF conei GUS
innocence We sat still, merely inserting
our legs in two sections OF stove-pipe &c
guard against any Misrepresentation Of
facts on the part Of tho bull dog. The
man with the clob approached.aI aE
"Are you the editor ~ he asked, spit.
ting on his hand and grasping his club.
We told him that the editor was out that
he had gone TO the north pole with Cap.
tain Hal, and that he would not return
before 1879 in time for the Centennial
celsbrsion. vFt s.. t1ag-
Are you the p.Oprie.afis asked the
man. .t-1s.-J ~sL % ayi 81. o. s,Zs.
:. We <xS.asAsd W hasa tbstIws we're not
TIA. Che proHsie.Ost were also out; thu,
.tey had goSsto South America for ths
pr<pose 81 investigating she curst;v'
properties II euDtpsango, sno tkey s1pec
iss 70 seusin there for sersrA, yss's.
wei. wboeve, you are, sIellins.
.hs vfsrlp,, my name IL snsth =
We tod tiIn We were glad; beoarse.
] the,e was ono sb;ng better ths, ;he potses
sior q fhe rsvle ofSmith, ]. was tie priyi
seys 81 knowing ,nan Of that name
q Bu. Smith. we said. a why .his Es.tl.
nrssys IL a. absurd for q man 10 put OF
the panoply ~ MAI, and frisk into editDrs
ssnet umf fusnbiing elctand sccOmpa
nisd by oisnesytsniDg bull dog. simpI,
t,sessss mis- nance happens 70 DO Smith.
He said be hsd called 70 burt the hea,
Of the rnsn who had in'olted Ms sister
X. i impossible, Smith. that such I
tkisg could have been done by any on
In this e6icsy sf,gu ~ I'd n
HYes, bot " vas, though and her nam
was published, TOOL Mis- Snitb--Mis
Hammer Smith ~ I.s +. ira. -iotd ~,
aNsy ~ " permitted 70 inquire NJ,
Smith, what was the preeiss character {
IN Anront offered 10 Hspnahs'
"wefj, you see" said Smith, '4he blacl
guard said she was denizen. And war
you 10 understand" exclaimed Srnitl
becoming excited, and 4brapdishing b
elub in 9 wild manner, over our head
while the hull dog advanced Ands con
. n,eneed 70 snif up end down our at0vs-p
. poll want you 10 undssstsnd thAt a
! is . decent young woman, With = gos
snch truck. The man Who says she is
. thisf, l.sea IN d smash hi
J, fmsy Wy what they plsass sbppt, me, b
:, the man, who abuses my sister has got \
= suffer" And Smith struck the table in :
= | violens ms,ner With his club, while Il
: bulldog put bis fore.iegs UP on tho ba'
|, LOT our chair. -L,i1A1aQ ,tlig'rs5.
= EaiiWs paciasd Smith with q dlctionsr
d We pointed out TO that raging, warri
y that the Webstsrisn dsaniti IN 10 the wo
Il I,Hdsaixsnl,i gives such person an un.
d lsaalne oharaeter and depriyea the term
n sverytking AXE .rsproach.r Smith said
ID lives sstisaeA, and no shook hands u
ID Kicked the bulldog down stairs!I The q
n, kitor aaA proprietor, seeing that all "
8, safe, innsdistAly clinaed the light ming r
ID and soon appeared at the window, who
Q. tthey-wcre4 ntrodaesa 70 Smith, with 4
remark shst thy hsS rsIY T; from
AZ sngo somewhat unexpectedly, in order
k. spfpfibS thpirI fslatiotsO UM Ante
ps AND now We suppose Smith will DO m
on because we have told this story about hi
ne and he Wilde comihg down 20 diitervi
ey Us again, in wars magnificent stern arr
ne with fresh bulldog. But It will DO
est vain .aidW . have rented ana oftieo in /,
" top Of the shot-tower, and have plan
oea torpodoas and sprinV guns ALI tina nav
QAl II AhA aAaiNa WA thin