The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-05-06
VARIETY.

1laee to get out at-the elbow.
anne A Spring-A swallow-tailed coat passed
! : ID. ~. Zee yesterday.
eight women are now regularly or
p .feachers In the United States.
<5sh girl having been sent to the post
fhe mail, came back to enquire whether
a. dan mail or corn mail that was wanted.
nan was told that his wife would prob
Exnfy again. :. All right" said he, IS for
<<iE Be one man that will lament my death ."
4IsA real blessing to have one in family
knsitive to the ludicrous. There are
reflect the sad side of life, and Its irri-
81 and its sober side.
k,0hg gentleman, speaking of a young
.'siashIOnable yellOwish hair, called it pure
&c ought to be- said bystander, . it
ike twenty-four carrots"
tri& fight took place in Lyons, Iowa, the
E,:zr. The fight was won by the mother of
fua9er boy, who appeared on the scene of
En VIII mop.
Ihs 1isConnelIsvilIe (Ohio) Herald tells of
nan s,hO washed her chIldrens heads with
tsrn whisky TO kill nits. Her boys are we'll
! BIT their heads are as smooth as billiard
tei4sing to the fact that Henry Ward Beecher,
,nzn kbbott. and several others had prepared
'fss ef Christ" the Spectator says: s There
yHy good one in the New Testament, which
1'r-kten by some poor fishermen"
flther was amused the other day to hear
1it of - argument > from her little boy.
al don't see how Satan could have turned
'chesuch bad fellow-there wasn't any devil
1T nm up TO it -
tDhnsOn, while prowling around in an In
= 1w-mIli in the dark to see what he could
- Supposed 70 have found a buzz-saw, from
Z nber of buttons and pieces of suspenders
ngs found on the floor.
HrDsHIP.-~ Joe, what makes your nose so
e. !. Friendship" '' How do you make that
I've got a friend who is very fond of
-, and he Is too weak to take it strong, and
= eDtituted myself his taster.''
5enkins says the Emperor Williams last war
spaeh was as follows:
~ VIII Divine my dear Augusta
Tie troops have had another buster,
Ten tn usand Frenchmen sent below
fraise God from whom all blessings flow.
- WILHELM.
srsEISc RHAPsoDY.-A young lady about tc
la,rried, insisted on having certain clergy
% perform the ceremony, saying, {" II,
H1Js throws 80 much feeling into the thing
E 1 rouIdn't give a fig to be married unless
y te done in style of gushing rhapsody"
~ Coop TmE.-A Scotchman who had hire
HU to a farmer had cheese set down befor
;sst he might help himself. The master ha
&tifn TO remark some time afterwards '.Sandy
Ike long time to break FAST IS In truth
80 answered he, - a cheese o. this size
sae soon eaten as ye may Think"
4 Mansfield, Ohio, the retail liquor dealer
iavented the following mode of avoiding th
Xzlty OF the State Liquor law, which gives
man the right of action for damages againl
man who gives strong drink to her husband
= wife valves her right to action by signin
NJ 1hme to the following card:
hereby authorize you to give my husban
&e.ever he wants to drink, so long as he ca
IA up and pay for it.
A p down East - paper, which appears to hay
thoroughly dsgusted with the tame fish storit
Esh are 50 prevalent just now, tells one of il
which 1t claims is just as good as any.
that hsh dealer in Bangor has - tam
which he has taught to come at his whistle
follow him all over the houEe The claI
stand up on his hind legs and beg, or Ii
80 at the command of his master, and wi
whistle and count as high as thirteen, an
forts are true, is a most remarkable examul
hat patience will accomplish
Nav DRrSK-Some ' Heathen Cbinee ,, !;
|E England are knocking the sights from th
tRue department by making a first rate artIcl
khisky by iltering rain water through a DO
nd with sawdust, scraps Of old iron, burne
All Der, indiarubber soaked in oil of vitroi
,Ns' heads, ham rinds and water in which pots
be- have been boiled. The beverage thu
'tAned is extremely popular with the Chiness
every one else who would get drunk in iy
mites and stay 50 for a week. They call
-t,o-kung. There is no law at present to ia
n nlanufacture, so the Celestials are in high gle
~ the Government is sick.
fHz GoAT.-The PlGceruiAe Democrat saws
hr following" Boys composition on the Goat,
~ picked up near the school-house in Ell Dorado
3 thInk it worthy of record There are tw
rs OF Goats-the male and female. have
~ GOat. He butts. he looks at you side
rs, and eats anything. He butted Old Mrr
way IN bad place when she wasn't lookin
Knocked her into the dam. Old Carawa
led her out by the hind leg, and SAYS he wi
my Billy. The hair Of the Goat is good 70
great many things. There is a great man
ers near Mud Springs; they sell all the male
females to the farmers to raise Goats with
the newtrals are sold to the Butcher 70
Ht. The Goat smells like the girls when the
musk on their hair. Ny Goat eat mp m
=. Aliy's shignon-she left it in a rosebush-
'nis Is all know Of the Goat