Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-05-11
A Slack Husband Punished.


"Mr. Moncition," said grandmother,
81 have no wood to burn to-day. What
shall do?"
"Oh send Louisa around to pick up
some," said the gentleman, making a
stride toward the door.
"But she has picked all she can find"
"Then let her break up some old
stuff"
"But she has broken up everything
already"
''Oh, well, the next best thing-I
must be off, said the farmer; and no
doubt wondering, in his heart what
the next thing would be. -. ..rr, -.
Noon came, and with it came my
grandfather and his four hungry labor
ers. My grandmother stood in the
kitchen spinning on her great wheel,
and, singing a pleasant little ditty.
Louisa securing tins in the back kitch-
EN-, and the cat purred on the hearth
before q black and fireless chimney,
while the table sat i'm the middle of the
room spread for dinner but withempty
/ dishes. .a-.-'
swell, wife, here we are," said my
kgrandfather cheerily. ..F.4 ..-. e..
$50 I see" replied she placidly.-
.dzai;siS "MaSs yss' s', had good morning in the
why yes, SO, 50. But where is the
dinner?' --....,.s a-.--a,s. s.,..- -.
MIn the pot on the doorstep. Won't
YOU see if it is done 2" e..s ,,--..... ..,.,.--
And on the doorstep, to be sure, sat
the great iron pot, nicely covered, but
not looking particularly steamy. Ny.
grandfather raised the cover, and there
lay all the Ingredients for nicely boil
Ped ddinner-everything prepared in the
incest manner, and the pot filled with
the clearest water, and all the vegeta-
bles and meat as raw as they had ever
been. Ny grandfather started, and my
grandmother Joined another roll to her
distaff and began another verse OF her
"Why, wonan,I what does this
mean?' began my grandfather indig-
nantly, the dinner is not cooked at all. !"
"Dear me is it not ?" asked the good
wife, in pretended astonishment.-
"Why, it has Deen in the sun these four
hours"
ssSet in the sun ?" ~
"You told me to try the next best
thing to having fire; and / thought
setting my dinner in the sun was about
that" ~ S.f- =. -.
NV grandfather stood doubtful for a
moment; but finally his sense of humor
overeame his sense of injury and he
laughed aloud. Then picking up his
hat he said:
s"Come, boys, we might as well start
for the woods. We shall have no din
ner till we have earned it, 1 perceive.
"Won't you have some bread and
cheese before you go?" asked my
grandmother, generous in her victory,
as women most always are. And so
she won the day.. .....
The cellar staYs in the old farm house
had become broken and so unsafe that
my grandmother besieged her husband
early and late to repair them, lest some
accident should happen. He always
promised to do so, and always forgot to
fulfill his promise. At last one day my
grandmother fell in going down and
spilled the milk she was carrying.
"Are you hurt?" asked my grand
father smoking his pipe beside the fire:
"No matter whether am or not, :"
returned the angry housewife, reap
pearing with her empty can. "That Is
the last time l will carry milk down
those stairs until they are mended"
s'Please yourself, and find the next
best way to ge it down. said the hus-
band a little vexed at her tone. wa
81 will" said my grandmother, and
she was as good as her word. The next
evening my grandfather went down
cellar to draw some cider. .,-.. a..
"What in thunder ~ exclaimed he
nothing worse, I assure you, for he was
not profane man. "What in thunder
is the matter down here? Why, wo-
man, your milk is all over the cellar
bottom !" ..-.-..
as itv" replied my grandmother
TRANQUILITY. "Well, l think that is
likely enough, falling SO far"
"Falling so far! What do you
mean !" 10
ivy you know 1 said 1 shouldn't
carry the milk over those broken stairs
again, and you told me to try the next
best way of getting it down, so l threw
the pans down, and strained the milk
down in them"
The cellar stairs were mended the
next day. .,s.. ....