The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05

AA~ 'S~NN N~NN~
The best thing out-out of debt.
A hard-set Illinois thief recently
stole the lightning-rod off church.
Coming to Grief-Meeting trouble
halfway.
All Bung is the name of Chinese
! pugilist in San Francisco.
Two Virginia. farmers fought duel
with scythe and an axe.
What have you to expect at hotelsH
Inn attention. ~
Tennyson is again Idyling away his
time.-[Det. Free Press.
The London underground railway
cost four million dollars a mile.
An Illinois church was carried bodi-
ly six miles on freight car.
His girl "shook him" and he jumped
into the river at Quincy, Ill.
A new German fiction unfolds its
slow length in nine volumes.
An English lady has been sued for
breach Of promise by farmer.
A Model for bust-almost any pat
ent boiler model.-[Low. Cour.
An Atlanta negro owns to having
had eight wives and sixty-four chill
dren.
A gentlemanly New Orleans thief
returned wedding ring he had stolen.
Illinois chickens scratched up a
gold watch that was lost seventeen
year ago,
Wachtel, the German tenor, was
once hack driver; now he's on the
stage.
Why is the sun like good loaf?
Because it is light when it rises.
What is that which is so brittle that
if you name it you are sure to break
it? Silence.
What is it that goes up the hill and
down the hill, and yet never movesI
The road ~ tE -
What drink should sailors be fond
of? Port. hr
Why should the speaker of the
House wear speotacles? Because 30
many attempts are made to "catch
his eye."
What is the difference between an
egg-shel and physicani One is M I
and the other is M. d.
1
| Which is the most appropriate drink
for fopsS Spruce.
When is theatrical manager like an
astronomer? When he discovers new
star.
Why are young ladies SO partial to
sunset and twilight? Because they are
daughters Of Eve.
Spurgeon thinks some ministers
would make good martyrs-they are
SO dry they would burn we'll.
AT recent marriage in Illinois, the
the groom was forty and the bride
twelve and half years of age.
A Swimming-master may sometimes
be said to be literally immersed in
business.
The Chicago Republican calls this
can explodemical season for kerosene
lamps"
Thirty years ago there were not
twenty wood engravers in the United
States. Now there are four hundred.
Tall gentleman should beware of
the habit of kissing little ladies, as it
might in time make them round-shoul-
dered.
If a man has carroty hair and tur-
nip nose, with radish complexion,
must he necessarily have vegetable
marrows in his bones?
A carpenter named Frank Markley
fell from the roof of barn in Wash
ington township, few days ago, re-
ceiving serious injuries.
A journal certifes to the existance
of young lady who took out fifty
seven hair pins from her coiffure and
yet her hair did not come down.
Victoria's daughter, Crown Princess
of Prussia, is growing fat, like her
mother. She is 81 years old, and has
given birth to six chrildren.
The two new Roman Catholic Cathe-
drals in New York city will cost a.
100000 each. That's the way the
money goes"
There are many newspapers that
make little noise in the world but the
ladies will testify that they can make
great "bustle."
New York and New Jersey people
drink more beer than those of any
other two States-the yearly average
consumption being 248 glasses for ev-
cry man, woman. and child.
When a man and a Christian brud-
der runs away with the Church plate
at Memphis, one deacon catches him
and holds him while another fixes him
for the coroner.
A Young gentleman Of Pittsfeld,