Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-09-14
A Plea for xaf1tippe.
BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.


From the Gneinna Times and Chronicle.
Who can tell at this late day what an
noyanees, irritations and insufferable vex-
atoms resulted in rendering Xantippe the
seold she was She might have been
and undoubtedly was, an aniable young
woman when Socrates married her. AS
good humor implies a sort of easy indif.
ference to the cares of life, she must have
possessed good natured attributes, or she
would have inquired and found out how
poorly calculated Philosophy is to support
family on. She probably knew very lit
tie OF Socrates, except through reputation
when he asked for and obtained her hand
She saw his name mentioned very fire.
quently in the papers as the Great Phi
losopher. She had heard him quoted as
authority in philosophical matters; had
known half of Athens to- flock together
for the purpose of listening to his talk
and had perhaps drowsed through one OF
his lectures herself.
Her vanity was naturally gratiied at be
coming the wife of"The Greatest Philoso-
nher in the World, as the lyceums inva-
riably billed him. Perhaps. in her girlish
romance and ignorance, she thought he
possessed the philosophers stone which
shez had read about which transmuteS
everything, not excepting Pendletonian
grecnbacks, into gold. Or she might
have pictured him as some time filling the
Presidential chair, and she mistress ofthe
White House, as Horace Greeley, -. N
and other well-known philosophers had
aspircd to that exalted station.
What waking up it must have been
whensshe discovered what sort of a man
The greatest philosopher in the world
really was, and what an improbable line
OF business he pursued! As classic
though practical Greek remarked, it wa:
AL talk and no cider" 1t might have
been most excellent philosophy that he
gave The people, winning much applause
but it rarely brought bread.
If, overcoming his repugnance to any
action that would appear mercenary, he
allowed his hat to be passed around after
one of his philosophic bursts in the mar
ket place, some one invariably ran off
with the collection, besides stealing his
hat. He lectured Young Mems Christian
Associations for nothing and found him.
self, and travelled around The country on
foot at his own expense, organizing
schools in philosophy, thereby seriously
impairing his entire philosophical appa
ratus.
She found that philosophers were gen
orally out of money when rent became
due, and only prepared to respond to calls
from his butcher and bakerwith sage and
philosophical maXims and dispositions.
Clean clothes they were sublimely indif-
ferent to, and they never were regular to
their meals.
No use to get up good dinner for Soc
rates, as no one could tell when he would
come home to eat it. He washed very
rarely, and let his hair grow long, greatly
to the disgust of Xantippe, who was g
neat woman herself So much wrapped
up was he in philosophy that he would
only half dress himself in the morning,
and he appeared on the street so often in
his stocking feet that the boys dubbed
him "Old Soc"
He would come to his house at late
hour CT the night, bringing lot of broth
er philosophers with him, and want Kan
tippe to get up. and cook them supper
On such occasions she would tell Socra
ties to feed them some of his philosophy
and let them digest that.
What wonder that the life she was com
PEELED to lead resulted in rendering Kan
tippe peevish and cross. 1t would sou
the sweetest disposition in the world
most assuredly Had She lived in on
day She might have found an outlet 70
her i'll humor, as numerous testy and pet
ulant females now do, on the rostrum bl
Woman's Rights were unknown in Kan
.ippe's time, so she vented all her spleel
Piled for divorce; but alas for the di
appointed and Unmatched ones ofthat pc
Rod, Chicago was not then discovered
She began to make it very warm fc
him whenever he came home, aud scolt
ed. fretted and flmed day and night. ST
declared if She were to marry again, an
had to choose between natural philose
phcr and natural born fool, she woul
take the fool suret
tt is not recorded, believe, who mac
the hemlock tea which Socrates was con
PEELED by his judges to drink as punisl
ment for setting shiftless example befol
the Athenian youth, but suspect it W.
Xantippe herself and can imagine Il
cheerful alacrity with which she did
The sublime philosophy which sustaint
shilagas he drank the poison was doub
less equaled by the heroic resignatie
with which XantipDe saw him depart.