The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1871-08-31

1HE LIFE INsUA.ncE MAN.
The following describes what nearly
every healthy American citizen has
had the misfortune to experience:
7His name was Benjamin Pc Gum.
He came around to my Office fourteen
times in one morning to see if he could
not induce me to take out q life insur-
ance policy in his company. He used
to waylay nae in the streets, atchurch,
| in. my own house, and bore me about
that policy. fl went to the opera,
Gum would buy the seat next to me,
and sit there the whole evening talk
ing about sudden death and the ad-
hvantages of the ten year plan. If l
got into street car, Gum would come
rushing in at the next corner, and sit
| by my side and drag out a lot of NOR
tality tables, and begin showing how
1 could beat his company out of a for
tune. If j sat down. to dinner in a
restaurant up would come Gum, and
seizing the chair next to me, he would
| tell cheering anecdote about man
who insured in his company for
| $4,000 only last week, and was buried
yesterday. IF I,attended the funeral
of departed friend, and wept as they
threw the earth upon his coffin, I
| would hear q whisper, and turning
around, there would be the indomita-
BILE Benjamin P. Gum, bursting to say I:
'"Poor Smith Knew him well. In
sured for ten thousand in our compa-
ny. Widow left in comfortable cir
cumstances. Let me take your name.
Shall? He followed me everywhere +:
until got so sick of Gums persecu-
tions that l left town suddenly one
evening, and hid myself in a secluded
country village, hoping to get rid of
him. At the end of.two weeks I re-
turned, reaching home at one in the
| morning. l had hardly got into bed
when there was q ring at the door
bell. II looked out. and there was
Gum, with another person. He asked
| if Mac .Adeler was at home. said I
was the man. Mr.. Gum then observ-
ed that he expected my return, and
thought he would call around about
that insurance policy. He said he had
the doctor with him, and if I would
come down he would take my name,
and have me examined Immediately.
i was too indignant to reply. Isl shut
the window with a slam, and went to
bed again. After breakfast in the
morning I opened the door, and there
was Gum sitting on the steps, with
his doctor, waiting for mel He had
been there all night. AS L came out,
they seized me and tried to undress
me. 1 retreated and locked myself
up in the garret, with orders to admit
nobody to the house until I came
down stairs. But Gum was not to be
,baffied. He rented the house next
door and stationed himself in the gar
ret adjoining mine. When he got fixed
he spent shis time pounding on the
partition, and crying: =" Halo, Adeler
| Adeler,, / say How about that policy.
Want to take it out now ?" And then
he would tell me some anecdotes about
men who were cut off Immediately
after paying the first premium. But
paid no attention to him, and made
no noise. Then he was silent for a
while. Suddenly, one morning, the
trap-door of my garret was wrenched
eff; and, upon looking up, saw Gum
with the doctor and crow-bar, and a
lot of edeath-rates. coming down the
ladder at me. / fled from the house
! to the presbyterian church close by.
and paid the sexton twenty dollars to-
I let me climb mp to the point of the
steepIe, and sit astride of the ball. q I
promised him twenty more if he
would exclude every body from the
| steeple for a week. Once safely on
the ball, three hundred feet from the
earth, / made myself comfortable with
the thought that had Gunn at a dis
advantage, and determined to beat
him if had to stay there a month
About an hour afterwards, while I
was looking at superb view of the
west, heard rustling on the other
side of the steeple. Hooked around,
and there was Benjamin P. Gum
creeping up the side Of that spire in o
balloon, in which was the doctor, with
the tabular estimates of the losses of
his company from the Tontine system.
As soon as Gum reached the ball he
threw his graphing iron into the
shingles of the steeple, and asked me
atwhat age my father died, and if any
of my aunts had consumption or liver
complaint. Without replying, l. slid
down the steeple to the ground, and
took the first train for the Mississippi
Valley. In two weeks was in Mex
leo. I determined to go to the interi-
or, and seek some elevated region
where no Gum would dare to come.
/ got on a mule and paid a guide to
lead meto the summit of Popocatepetl.
We arrived at the foot of the noun
tain at noon. We toiled upwards for
about four hours. just before reach
ing the top heard the sound of vol
ces, and upon reaching point of rock
who should L see but Benjamin P.
Gunn, seated on the very edge of the
crater, explaining the endowment plan
to his guide, and stupefying him with
a mortality table, while the doctor
had another guide few yards off, ex-
amining him to see if he was heaIthyI
Mr.. Gum arose and said he was glad
to see me, because now we could talk
over that business about the policy
without fear of interruption. In a
paroxysm of rage I pushed him back
ward into the crater, and he fell
thousand feet below with a thud. AS
he struck the bottom l heard q voice
screaming out something about g nom
forfeiture !" but there was q sudden
of the mountain, cloud
of smoke and I heard no more.
know It was wrong. L know l. had
no right to kill Gum in that manner,
but he forced me to do it in self de-
fence; and hope his awful fate will
be a warning to other agents who re-
main among u.s., .,yeqg .gt l.l
ai;t A REPREHENsIBLE HABIT. jar
Z There is no breach of that etiquette
which should be observed in public
places so reprehensible as that OF