Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1871-05-25
OUR APPETIZER.


When the beer runs out, does it
hop?
"A constant gleaner--The tax
ya,herer
- Impressions of Greeae--Canils d.
droppngs on the carpet.
-" notwithstanding darkness
reigns, 1t my be very dry night.
A wonderful aerial phenome
non-a flight Of stairs.
49," The wiIe's secret her opin-
fion Of her hushssa
= Never attempt to form an opiu.
loo of a woman 10y her sighs.
Marrying woman fnr her bean,
.tv is like eating Nightingale lor ts
singing,
Laws, like sautage~, cease 10 in.
saire respect in proportion as We
know how they are made.
An apothccary sent in bill toa
widow which ran thus "To curing
your husband ill he died. FF
--- What is the difference between
vour father nnl vonr aoctor? One
whacks and loves you, and the other
waccinates rou .r
Even the dcriind orran. grinder
has his good point --ho supplies the
pent up poo, ouc of the greatest lux.
nries OF lifc--a change of ar.
A California paper, describing II
row among the Cinnamon, says that
they, "usod iron bars and other soda
tives freely"
A contemporary says Of a very
prominent militia general that hs
sword was never drawn but once
and then in rattle
-~" His pilgrimage is over" as
the druggists widow said when she
ordered AZ epi,aph for his tombstone
Some "new beginners" are prac
li"iug on such specimens as these
IS How much does fool weigh gen.
orally A simple ton lI what color
should secret be kept? IN yinIet."
A little girl who had lust laid
aside the slate, ID order 10 adjust her
Siorking, WAS asked hy her mother,
"What are voG drawing an your
slate" she answered, "rm drawing
"n my stoc%ing."
An anxious mother il, PcnrsNlt
yania has sent this note IL n severe
schooImlstrrss "your will o'iIlg. me
not yor,se that wall b Btne on the llpet
Of my Lttcl danter Give yonr Hart
lo God and Perhaps you viii have
NOR Pacence."
Deaf and lnmb clerks are nn trial
in some of the departments IN Wash
ington. There is no reason why they
Shonl,ln.t succeed Dumb walters were
introduced IN al the radn9 hotels
'"rg aco, and have satisfied every
body.
A newly married man oonpla'ns
Of the high price of 9 ducks lln
SAYS his Wit, rtrcr,Ev pait tnsihr"" IT
thcm--a duck of u bonnet, y duck Of
drrss, and a duck OF a larasol. He
says such dealings i'll poultry will rum
him. @
.--" The crazy ex King, Georgeo of
Hanover" ~e are told bv an Europe.
an correspondent, ''amnsrs hiinsnlt
hy sl"epina in his coffin This IL
shocking. though We have known -
nnn addicted 10 coughing III his
~lecp.",- " u Times.
"A young minister whose repnta.
lion for sera,fty was not very good,
once yeu,nrel To differ with Al oil .
doctor of divinity ~ 10 ia" efficacy Of
the u~n of the rod Whv," said ho,
I" the on'y time nv ftihtr ever whtn-
I'D mo, il was for telling 'he truth" !"
a Wei. "rrtnrrd ~ ioetor, il cured
YOU Of it, didn't it?"
-" Ma, has Amty Jane got bees
IL her month Z" - $685.
No, my son, why do you ask
sach u,tc~ti"n?'
Bcra0s. heard Mr.. Briggs
tell her that he wohld takr honey ~
from her lis and h." was so long "
atnr ie wondered he didn't get f
stnng."
This is the way, necorrfInc to
th. Faribaplt Irafrr. ,hry i,''te
hand~ine Thing in Minnesota That
sheet deScribe< a fashionable sd
ding, and SAYS: After the cere.
Iuony the friends presented the bride
with one dozen beautiful ora',gess,
one dozen fine lemons, five pounds OF
new fy>, five pounds splendid assor.
ed candies, and six cans Of fresh oys'
ters"
Woman was toasted IN III" fol-
lnwing st,le Mt M" recent anniver-
gary meeting ot tie Rtrhn mi L,1ht
Infantry Blna<a: WauIan--,u~" as a
s oannke that falls upon the cold
peak. ot the I5atiau Ait~ ; h'amIInl
as the houri th,t bnfhes herself in tha
crystal fountains oithe Mn>len, para
disc aracetnl a. the peri afloat op
her sh"li skitf over The calm waters 0f .s