Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1871-08-15
THE HERALD.
THE EDITORS GUESTS.
WILL NJ. CARLETON,

His chair arm elbow supporting, his right hand
holding his head,
His eyes on his dusty old table, With different doom
ments spread;
There we're thirty long pages from Howlor, with no.
derlined capitals topped,
And short dsquiston from Growler, requesting his
newspaper stopped
There vera lyrics from GushSr, the poet, concerning
sweet G0wrets and zephyrs,
Aud stray gem from Plodder the farmer, describing
couple Of heifea;
There bllets from beautiful madens aud bills from
grocer two,
And bis best leader hched TO a letter, which inquired
II he wrote IL, or whoi
There we're raptures Of praises from writers OF the
smooth and melfuous school,
And one Of his rivals last papers, informing him lac
was fool
There we're several long resolutions, with names telling
who they we're by,
nothing worse than to die
There were traps that table 10 catch him, and SER
penis TO sting and 20 smite him
There we're gift enterprises 10 sell him, and btera at
tempting 10 bite him;
There Tong staring "ads from the city AMI money
with never one,
Which added "rlease give this insertion and send in
your bill when you're dOne;'
There letters from organizations their meetings,
their wants and their laws
Which said "Can you print thia announcement ior-the
good ofOur glorious causer
There wero tickets inviting his presence to festivals,
parties aud shows,
Wrapped in notes, with "Please give us a notice." de-.
murey sppeo IN az the close
Ia short as his eye took the table, and DER its ink
spattered trash
There was nothing IL did not encounter excepting per-
haps, u was cash.
The Editor dreamily ponderod several ponderous
things
On different lines Of action and tho pulling Of different
strings
Upon some cquiyocal doings, mad some unequiyoeal
duns;
90 how iev d m numerous patrons we've quietly pforlpt
paylDg ones;
on friends, w, subscribed "J1st 10 L,p him." aud
wotdy enept tagement lent
And had given him plenty Of counsel, but never had
paid hum a cent
On vinegar, knd.hoarted people we're feeding him ov-
cry hour.
Who saw not the work they doing, but Wondered
that printers are sour )"
On several intelligent townsmen, whose kindness was
That they Keep an eye out on his business and told
him just what he should print;
On men who had rendered him fayOrs and never push
ell forward their claims,
So long the paper was crowded with locals contain
ing their names
ON various other small matters sufficient bis temper 10
roll,
And finally eontiyeI to be making the blood Of an ed
ttOr boil
And could that his feelings could hardly DO
said % be smooth,
And he needed pleasant occurrence, Lis Weakened
emotions 90 sOOthe
lie had IL for To- the threshold slow and rela.
bic tread,
4 farmer invaded tho sanctum, and thesoare the words
that he saidi
"Good mor.,n, SIR Mr.. Printer; how is your body to-
I'm glad you're 70 home or you fellers is always
runniu' away,
Yoar paper last week wasn't spicy sharp as the
But suppose when the align Is opened youIl be
whoopu' 70 up 90 'eu mp,',
That follow that's printing, The Smasher - goiu for
And oor fots sad this rnornln' at Jroakfs, thoy tho
ho was Rettin the start
But hushed them right up In minute, and said n
good word Tor you
told EN- believed you Was tryin' 10 do just as We'll
h4 YOU knew.
Add ! told en- that some one was sayu, aud whoever
twas II Is 20,
That you cant sxpec, much Of no one man. nor blame
aim Tor what he don't know.
but laytn' aside pleasure for business I've brought
you my little son Jim
Aud thought would see i sou couldn't make m 3D.
ltpf ouiel p him.
Ny faulty stock is uefoasiu' sAiIs other folks seem
90 short.
I've got right smat, ola family it's one o the old.
There's lchabod, Isaac and Israel workin' away on
thp farm
Thoy do bout much as Que yoos toy--and make
things 20 OF like a charm
There's Moses and Aascn are sly ones, aud slip ike
But mc,'re tolabe steady il one thing-they away.
got round 10 their meals
There's Peter busy iuven lin (hough what he nyents
can't s.el
And Joseph is Atud,u medicine ana they're both II
them blariin with ms
There's Abam and Albert is married, each wo4n' my
farm Tor himself,
And Sam smashed h' nose at shootu and 30 ho is
laid on the shelf
The rc' Of the bows are all gown, eopt this little
runt, which Is Jim;
Aud Thought TIM y, rap. ia De maxim an editor
ouieh - him.
lilo aut no great shakes for labor, though I've Ia.
bsred with him good deal.
Aud give him some stapVu' good arguments know
hp couldn't help but feel
But he's buhtout Of second class timber and uothin'
about him is big
Excoptin his appetite ouy aud there he's as good as
sccpblm a carryia' luaeheon' and dlin, and bling.
in' NeJugs
An kc him among the portatoe ana set him TO pick.
in Che bugs,
Aad then there thing, to De doin hepln' the we.
men iu doors;
There's churuu and washiu' ~ dishes and other les.
cUpuuug " chores.
hut no don't take 10 noth.n but yctuas dhe'H new
~ Doe mueh I'm afraid.
So Thought 10 would be a good notion To learn him
The Editors trade.
bis tqdy's too small &c. tanner, his judgment is
Butt thought we perhaps could be maxim IN editor
ouicu o him.
lt amt much To get mp paper-it wouldn't take him
long Tor 90 learn
Ile soud feed tho machine, nm tAukin', with some
Keoo' htapplng Fellow 70 turn
Aud things that Was once hard ia don easy enough
now TO do;
Just keep an eve on your machinery. and crack your
tts.,ltnt' ~ ,y,,,.l.t ~ ,.a.lt, -. i -, ~. 49,
p,,t nv. ',si ia, .lt ,,
An, r',,i ,i, sn NOW. now
Nna TOOLS tohsirneedby machinery OF dlutent
Each XXX sttb ,,,,,,.,,, .t,,... ,,.,.,
1a' XIV" Wian kuNH' ana chopper 70 see 90 the length
And hear New York cairvoyant il runnin' one ,se
or than greese ''''N
And a rsnt,,S hor 1900 a. -. 49, H.. &C..
~ doll,rs arioce. V''" P'''ue'''u' - SouPlo
Az since IA, whole trade has cro,yed easv ,,vld b
e,sv enopyb f,s = ,.ti,r SUM- ''5' '"Vu'' "
lcyou was agreed to BE- MAXIM an c5torou,so If linn
The Editor sat n III s,nct ~ 49, 'u' ~ %, = lu
iu the eve. '''' ''o"'' vac o'' man
Then glanced a. tl,e ,r;r,i,,. ,,,.,. t,,..c, ,
mournGilly na1a liz renivs '''"e nop'''' 'u'
~
s your son asmal uubouGd edition or Moses and Sol
ONION bothi
Can he compass his spirit with mcekness and srangle
natural oathg
Can hs leave All h,s wrongs TO tho future and carry
hlA hHaft "a his cheek
Can he DO an hours work In minute, and live on a
Can De couttsousy talk 20 an equal and brow beat an
impulcnt dunce'
Carrie keep things in appls.pi, rl a.J lo t.lr,
dozen at ouee
can ~ press An tba sprlnys ofkpoyiei,,. vim anti,
A., az" t.. ,v.,' ne ' G,
t,,,r h,v 10 ~, t -, ~" ..utn 10 Ano"' auu
n,s. b, kno,v h,,y =, - IN ~
chscs rein on M prige, ~ :" '''u'' anu pu'
O"' ns TNiy s1"ue'nAns manners within rhnoce.
i''H iiAN