Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-04-06
For the Herald and Tribune.
The Empromptu Stump Speaker.
BY SPECTATOR.

Intellectually he is a human monde
script-he is like kind of terribly crush.
ed meat, specially salted, saged and pep
pered called souce-always ready fer use
He is like free open countenanced. strong
lunged dog, prepared to bark at mo-
| ment's warning. to bark for anybody and
at anything, and to yelp as long as prepar-
ed noises will either please or annoy.
He is versatile in literature and like
indescribably crooked sticks of fuel, used
in the old-fashioned mode of cooking, fits
the bottoms and sides of all kinds and
sizes of pots, kettles, bakers, stewers or
| boilers
He is like barn door hung on face
hinges-opening, not only with easy
screaks, but one way just as easy as anoth-
er; and when you shut him in one direc-
ton he is sure to open in another, and
possibly in several at the same time.
He is like an old continental musket-
powerful on q shoot; and if the charge
be moderately heavy, he kicks back with
as much force as he shoots forward-often
more, and if occasion Trequir es it, he finds
no difficulty in exploding, and effects 9th
ers sometimes in the same way.
He is like weather-cock in the midst
of a crazy March storm-wheeling in all
directions snuffing the breeze from every
point of the compass, and facing every
thing that approaches his particular front.
Spiritually. he is compound mixture OF
all kinds of moral liquors charged heavily
with soda, so as to secure ready and pow
erful fermentation-hence the supply of
intellectual froth aud foam is next to III
exbaustable.
In musical sense, he is combination
of all instruments that depend upon active
air Tor wind) as motive horsepower.
Physically he is the representative of
an organization consisting mainly of hand
saw files-the mass thrown together in
half cold state-hence the well defined
points are left sticking out.
He is Scientific PorcsTfne-he can
not be taken by storm and if captured
by slow seige, the victors will find them
selves vanquished in the end.
He is full of nerves-so full, in fact,
that the nerves hang out loose all around
hence he is very sensitive, SO sensitive
indeed, that his absorbing powers of SEN
sation are so much superior to all possible
supply that his personal feelings are new
er wounded. He is an animation and vital
itv smelling furnace; and hence, his
words and even actions, are as fully cloth
ed with scintilating sparks as fire-putied
cupola. Personally he is a manifold pic
ture-having face and pair of features
for every occasion, and all of It's spurs no
matter how numerous or sharp. He is an
automatic commentary on sliding litera-
ture, and exercises all the privileges which
Poets and Lecturers can have the pre-
sumption to claim mechanically, he Is a
most ingenious comic repair shop.
lie is scientific chime OF human bells !;
and in singular musical sense. ne is not
only riddle, but most consumate fiddle,
capable Of being tuned and keyed up to
anv other instrument demanded for the
special occasion.
All together, be is quite clever fel-
| low-he will sell in market for several
times his real worth He gets along well
with the world, and the world would feel
sadly at loss without him. Whilst 9TH
ers are not laughing at him, he is laugh
ing at others. This leaves the account
well balanced.