New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-09-10
The Fool and the Highwayman.

The EOOt anu the
Never heard of Redmond O'Haulon, the
Irish highway robberl Well, that's sur
nrjsing. Your English Turpins and French
Duvals couldn't hold a candle to our high
wayman But for an his shrewdness he
met his match once, and I'll tell you how 1t
was:
Redmond was a fine, strapping, gentle
manly fellow, and a devoted admirer OF the
Iadies-as where is the Irishman that is
not and what is more, friend to the poor,
AS You'll admit when | tell you that his de-
mands for cash were only made on persons
who could well afford to meet them, and
that he dcligltedin forcing contributions
from those who had the name of hard land
lords to their tenants. There was one OF
this class who Redmond never lost an op-
portunity of taxing. for that was the polite
name he gave to his own robberies. Every
quarter day this gentleman, or one OF his
Notwithstanding more than One-used
to take journey of six or seven miles 10
collect his rents, and as regular as clock
work there was Redmond O'Hanlon, with.
some stout companions, if necessary, to
waylay the collector as he returned home.
Every means was used to elude him, but TO
no purpose. He had spies everywhere, and
cOntrived to get the exact information he
needed in advance.
So. one quarter day, when the gentle
mans servants asked him abont going for
the rents, he swOre at O'Hanlon, and said
he didn't see the use Of collecting money 20
hand it over to him.
Now this gentlemen had on his estate
boy called Jerry the Fool" who had The
run of the house, and made fun for the
family. He had great cOncelt Tor himself,
and when he heard what the master said,
he Immediately asked to be allowed 10 go
alter the rents for once, and declared he
! would know the way to bring them safe
Z n = " low nod -
but when he represented that no BARN
would come from trying, as he couldn't DO
worse than all who had gone before him,
the master agreed to humOr him. Upon
that Jerry made such preparations as be
thought suitable, chose the wOrst'hOTse in
the stable, an old half blind and three
quarters lame, and started on his enterprise.
Nothing occurred on the way. He collected
| a considerable amount of money, carefully
disposed it about his person, and started
homeward. Toward evening, as he was
quietly Jogging along on the old hack, and
was just entering a long lane with high
hedges on each side, tall. fine looking man
rode up to him on handsome roam mare.
God save you, my man" says the gen
tleman.
God save your honor ? replied Jerry.
What's your name, my man." asked the
gentleman.
Jerry the Fool, and amt ashamed Of it.
What's yours"
The gentleman took no notice of the ques-
ton. After while he says, That's fine
animal you're riding, Jerry T.
Faith. I'm glad your honor likes il, :" said
Jerry; but it isn't myself thatd care to
take a lease of his life. But he'd serve my
turn anyway, for it's not in a hurry I'm
travelling; I've only been to the village
beyond TO collect the masters rents for
him"
Surely he's not such fool to trust you
with that job p
''Arrah, why not :" asks Jerry, in great
surprise.
why, don't you know that Redmond
OlIanlon's on this road ?"
Redmond O'Hanlon is it." says Jerry.
Ugh! That for Redmond O'Hanlon y says
he, swapping his fingers. FAX, Jerry the
Fool is match. for half a dozen OF the likes
of him. any day in the week, aud Sunday
into bargain
The stranger laughed and then rode on
in silence till they came to q very lonely
part of the road, when he drew brace OF
pistols and told jerry to hand over all the
money he had about him, or he'd try if he
had any brains by sending couple Of bull
lets through his head.
'Meala murther!' roars Jerry, in tone
of surprise and fright. you don't mean 70
say your honor's Redmond OHanlon2
Il do, indeed. SO hand over, my man,
and look sharp about it,"
But, talk, it's kilt entirely by the master
I'll be if | 60 home without the rint."
whats that to me ?" said OHanlon.
anyhow" said jerry, II must show them
that | had a numbering fight for it, Per
haps your honor wouldnt mind firing
shot through my old beaver" O'Hanlon
did so, laughing at the trick.
"And now another through the breast OF
my coat, and heaven bless YOU" This was
done. Now, just one in the skirt Of ~
and good luck to your honor
But I've discharged both Of my pistols,
and don't want the trouble of loading them
again for you
"Faix, should dearly like shot through
the skirt; it would show fought desperate.
Are you sure your honor hasn't another
pistol in your pocket that he wouldn't mind
firing for poor boys sake y
"Confound you'll To be sure l haynt.
Hand over the money, or III beat you TO
jelly with my h0rsewhip.
well" saws Jerry, after COED deal OF
fumbling, ~ suppose, considering the
trouble I've had in collecting. the rents,
your honor won't mind the little bother OF
going over the hodge after them!"
And he threw over sack, apparently
filed with coin Half laughing, half an
grv, the highwayman, first aiming at Jerry
With his whip, which he avoided by duck
inc, dismounted and climbed over the
hedge, and no sooner had he done so than
Jerry slipped off the old hack and mounted
O'Hanlon's horse.
bad scan to you, Redmond O'Hanlon,'
he bawled. Didn't l tell you Jerry the
Fool was match fora dozen of youl It's
a sack of brass buttons you're gone over
the hedge after, you thief of the world
And, touching the fine mare with the spur,
he galloped off, singing at the top OF his
voice the old melody, "Go to the mischief
pursue him on the hack; the cute fool had
made him discharge his pistols. There was
nothing for it but walk away, cursing his
own stupidity; and ever after. if any one
wanted to provoke him, they had only TO
ask him when he had last seen jerry the
Fool.