Litchfield enquirer., 1871-03-09
CLIPPINGS.

Warning to bald heada-"Death loves c shining mark.'
 The following is good. When will Bis. marck become great landscape painter When he's Claude Lo7T0ine
 A Pennsylvania chemist proposes to evolve diamonds from petroleum. All the rival chemists make light of it. M
 The wife of citizen of Buffalo objects to his keeping the memories of her i've predecessors green by wearing five bands of crape on his hat
 Several millionaires in prospective Gov. Hoffman has signed bills for widening Broadway in New York city, and for . fur ther supply of water. 's''' 'N '''- 'A'''S .''
 The worst-foolede thief on recotd is Mis- sissippi chap, who, the other day, stole the heaviest bag he could find in the depot. and after carrying it five miles, opened it and found the contents to be half bushsl of Bibles. ,3llu AZ .s-sfae n1l.1Cfllo
 A Chicago music-store recently sold Q piano, and the buyer soon after wrote to the dealers that he and his. wife Couldn't find the place to wind it up, and they want ed to be told at once how to make the thing go. t EflE.9He9 'l7ia
 A Springfield lady left her little boy at home to amuse himself with matches, and when she returned he met her in the street crying. He said he only just made little fire in the bureau drawer, g lot of red shirt ed men came with great big tea kettle and squirted water all over the house. They saved the cellar door. ...r-t. -te
 CoINo1DENT. Young Pumpcourt (nOt be. ing quite ready with his rent when his landlord calls, thinks it best to fud fault with his new house )-" Now, look at these doors Don't fit, you seep c9aail eg
 Landlord and builder. "'Ouse must have time to settle, you know, sir l'' q
 Young Pumpcourt (struck with the ideal =" An justso.1 Exactly Precisely my case. MT. Wentscott l" n.. .i. = scs A gentleman whose custom it was Co en. tertain very often circle of friends, ob- served that one of them was in the habit of eating something before grace was asked, and determined to cure him. Upon the repetition of the offence, he said e For what we are about to receive, and for what James Taylor has already received, the Lord make us truly. thankful" r'a -,g sga
 Holmes gives the following splendid type of innocence cone of my friends had Q little marble statuette of Cupid in the par Tor of his country -house-bow, arrow, wings, and all, complete. A visitor indig- enous to the region, looking pehsively at the figure, asked the lady of the house eff that was statoo of her deceased infant ?"
 DID ANY GET AWAY ?-The Indianapolis Sentinel tells rich joke of a railroad con. ductor who resides in that city. In his ab- sence his wife presented him with fine boy. Some of his wife's friends, who are of waggish turn of mind, suggested that they borrow two other babies in the neigh borhood, and present the three youngsters to their happy father on his return. ,-,.,
 The plan was carried out, and, upon the arrival of the train in the evening, the young husband, who had heard that all was we'll, hurried home; after fondly kissing his wife, he asked to see the little stranger. Imagine his surprise on beholding three babies when the coverlet was turned down. After gazing at them in profound astonish- nent for several minutes, he turned to his wife, and coolly asked, "Did any get away?" - - ''-