Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-06-22

As the year drew toward its close, and
as all the fl2 subscribers to the fund an
nounced their intention of applying for
loans of 824 apiece Qeaving a clear an
nual balance of 1875 per cent. in favor of
the according. to Tom POulton'S
own showing,) Tom Poulton began to
cast about for another joke that should
have the effect of eclipsing, by the rich
ness of its humor, the humor of the fund
joke, and of celebrating, by the force of
his agreeable ~denOument, all recollection
of the disappointment that would be oc-
casioned by the deROunent of the fund
joke.
One morning MI. Tom Poulton called
upon Mr.. Richard Harris, the secretary
of the Serious Family. Mr.. Harris was
the chosen abettor of Mr.. Poulton's little
jokes. He also acted the part of traitor
in-ordinary to that gentleman, and
brought all his ingenuity to bear upon
the best means of causing Mr.. Poulton's
jokes to recoil upon himself. But Mr..
Poulton's keen sense of humor reconciled
him to all misfortunes that proceeded
from it, and he and Mr.. Harris were on
the best of terms.
''Harris,' said Tom Poullon, 1--we ar
ranged another sell for the family, and L
want your help"
"It is yours" said Harris. "Details"
"You are aware that all the family will
be down On me, in six weeks time, for
their e24 loans? Well, before they fall
due I'm going to die"
"Don't do that''' said Harris.
eyes, my minds made up. Listen.
I've found an old man of my name-Tom
Poulton. He is wretchedly poor, and he
lives by himself in Clump Cottages,
Haverstock HILL &.
sWelI, he can't live three weeks, and
I've taken lodgings at his house."
E'Stin l don't see"
srYou're very dull. He can't live three
weeks-that is to say in three weeks he'll
die and he'll be buried. The Family must
hear of this through you, they will all
come to the funeral, and I'll turn up
among Them"
sBnt if you die and don't repay the
money they nave subscribed to the fund,
1 don't think they will come to the
funeral"
Eyes, I've arranged about that. I'll
make my will, leaving everything L have
to be equally divided among them: The
will must b. opened by you Immediately
after my demise. I'll appoint you exc
cutor, and PHI leave you-Ill leave you
e1OO for your trouble"
ssThank you-thank you. heartily" IS
"Spend it judiciously, Richard-when
you get it."
"On the 18th November, at Nos Clump
Cottages, Haverstock Hill, Thomas Poul-
ton, Esq, of the Inner Temple, barrister-
at-law.' OF =su rEE fa 6trgz ar1e
The Serious Family were very angry
at Tom Poulton's death. He had pock-
eted nearly 81 900 of their money, and
out of this sum they had counted on bor-
rowing e., 900 at Christmas. But by
their chairman and t~reasurer's demise
not only was there no prospect of effect
ing the contemplated loan, but it became
a very serious question whether they
would ever see any of the paid-up capt.
tai again. 1t was voted abominable on
Tom Poulton's part to die at such a cri-
sis, and nobody expressed any intention
If going to his funeral. However, Mr..
Poulton's dying, by producing his will
at the next meeting; the will left very
thing that Tom Poulton possessed to the
society, to be divided equally among Its
members, and, as Tom Poulton had three
or four hundred a year from house prop
erty, every one expressed an intention of
going to his funeral.
The funeral was plain, not to say mea-
gre, in its appointments; but no doubt
Dick Harris, as executor did not feel
justified in putting the Serious Family to
any unnecessary expense. 1t was voted
thoughtful in Dick Harris, Inc never
did any body of men feel more thor
oughly convinced of the vanity of fu-
neral pomp than did the members of the
Serious family as they stood around poor
Tom Poulton's grave.
il But, between the demise and burial of
the Tom Poulton who really did die, Mr..
Dick Harris had made an important dis
coverY.@n
The Tom who did die turned out to be
an extraordinary wealthy old miser.
His mattress was stuffed with bank notes,
and so was his easy chair, and under the
boards of his room was gold to the amount
of $4,000 or $4,000. Moreover, he ap-
peared to have died intestate; at all
events the only will that was found was
the will made in favor of the Serious
Family by the Tom Poulton who did not
die. In the absence of any other tesla
mentary document applying to the prop
erty of the Tom Poulton who did die,
Mr.. Dick Harris had no alternative but
to apply to it the testamentary document
drawn up and signed by the Tom Poul-
ton who did not die. L will not attempt
to describe how the grief eff the Seri-
GUS Family for the loss of Tom Poul-
ton was tempered by the rapture with
which they learned his estate was worth
altogether some 100000 OIL 100000.
The day of Tom Poulton's funeral was
a bitterly cold one. A drizzling Novem-
Der mist shrouded one-half of the funeral
party from the other half, n all were
drenched to the skin, There had been
much moralizing among the moupners
on the good qualities of poor Tom Poul-
ton, on the eccentric taste that induced
hun to hoard away so much good money,
and on the irreparable, almost irrepara-
BILE loss that hts death would cause to the
Family.
As they stood around poor Tom Poul-
toms grave, discoursing in saddened
whispers to this effect, they were natur-
ally rather surprised to find Tom Poulton
standing among them, his eyes red with
weeping, and his general appearance
carefully contrived to convey the idea that
his grief at his own death was unbound
ed. 1t was natural enough that he should
be sorry for his own death; the only I'M
accountable feature in the matter was
being present as a mourner at his own
funeral. This consideration appealed
powerfully to Mr.. Peter Hodgson, the
member of the Serious Family who. first
became conscious of Mr.. Tom Poulton's
presence among them.
; At first Mr.. Peter Hodgson was not at
all surprised. Mr.. Tom Poulton was so
thoroughly identified with all gather
ings of the Serious Family, particularly
81. u .z.o1 80 1aaoo.a1 harc