Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-07-07
Wit and HumOr.

A MAIDEN lady, alluding to her youth
full accomplishments, said that at six
months of age she went alone. A ma
licious individual present remarked -
Yes, you have been going alone ever
SINCE"
AN observing individual in very
healthy village, seeing the sexton at
work in hole in the ground, inquired
what he was about. "Digging grave,
SIR" Digging grave? Why, |
thought people didn't die often here
do they?" 80 no, sir; they never die
but once"
HERE is the last of shoemaker, be-
yond which let no cobbler go: A lady
complaining that the soles of her shoes
were too thick, the artful manufactures
said to her: Is that your only objec-
ton to them, madame? ?" 1T is," re-
piled the lady. "Well then, madam,
if you take them, think | can assure
you you will find that objection gardu-
ally wear away"
MARK BOYD, in his recent volume en-
titled Fifty Years "reminiscences"
tells the following story My grand
mother once awoke my grandfather in
the middle of the night, and told him
she much feared their son Willie had
become deranged, as she had been list
ening to him for some time speaking
loudly and rapidly to himself. Her
husband listened, and came to the same
conclusion and they forthwith hurried
into the boys bedroom to see what was
the matter. Willie's explanation was,
that as they were going to the seaside
next day, he wished to save time, and
was saying his prayers over and over to
last him during the holidays"
"What is a trance ?" asks the para
graphist of the Tribuae, with the air of
a man who serves his country. If it's
conundrum, we give it up; but if it's an
honest question, why John Hay ought
to know, when he has the Harte dis
ease.
A JUDGE of Memphis was recently
called to preside as chairman at apub-
lie meeting in that city. During the
proceedings an exciting discussion
sprung up, and amid the confusion of
loud speeches, motions and cross-mo-
tions, one speaker called out inpatient
ly to have his motion put to the meet
ing. Has your motion second ?" in
quired the chair. Yes, sir; it has
fifty. seconds at least" Then let it
have ten more, and the chair will make
a minute of it,"
AN absent-minded editor, who is
known to have an account at the bank,
comes from some fifty miles below to our
city courting. The other night it came
to climax and the old man was inter
viewed. $50 you want Clara " said
pater famiHas. "What will you give herY
"Give her." replied the newspaper
man, looking up vacantly, "Oh, I'll
give her puff
THE other day a sharp-looking little
fellow, with q shock of light brown
hair that looked as though it had no
very recent acquaintance with comb and
brush, said to his teacher, very abrupt
ly: "Teacher, amt coming to school
any more" "Not coming to school
any more! Why, what's the matter
don't you like your teacher2" 40,
.jimini don't L T.! you bet. But Pm
agoin' back to the theatre /" Back
to the theatre!" "Why, yes; | act,
does" "You act where?" eyes,
I've been on the stage lots. I'm an old
hand at it. was an angel up to the
Black Crook and bull-frog down to
the White Fawn, and l tell you what
it is, I'd heap sight rather be bull
frog than an angel, any day."