The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-03-18
My Experience as a rexas EdItor.
BY CAPTAIN CHARLES HowARn.

IL purchased the Killboure Pistol for /
ST 600, including Office, stove and books. |
The retiring editor threw in thirty bro
ken swords, eight bowie knives, and three
| bushels of MANNED revolvers. His rea-
son for retiring from business was, that
he had two hundred and eighty accepted
challenges on his hands, which deman-
;. ded his undivided attention.
The Killbourg Pistol boasted of a cir
culation of eight hundred. It's advertis-
] ing patronage was good. 1t had sport
ing page, mainly taken up with notices of
J. coming duels, in which the editors uame
figured quite conspicuously. Its motto
was the characteristic and appro-
printe utterance of a certain Seminole
Indian,
'Inc'er will ask for quarters,
i neer will be slave, ~ @ f575~-k - 3
I'm swim the sea of slaughter a.- f5 AZ
Till sink beneath the waver sas a
q. The verse was fanked on either side
by bowie knives and reyolvers. s4.a
In his valedictory the retiring editor
spoke of myself as follows:
aOur successor is gritty fellow. He
will retraet nothing, and will give satis-
fastion to its demeanor, only at the pis-
tolls mouth and the bowie's point
I sent three bushels of revolvers to the
gunsmith's for repairs, and the bowie
knives to the grindstone.
ef Then wrote my first editorials. 1
found an original poem in the desk be-.
meath ten pounds of cartridges, which I
~ sent up to the devil. It was from the
, pen of Maud Esther Abigail Buttons, the
Killburg poetess. clipped a good deal
from my exchanges, giving credit now
and then. made slight change in my
paper extracted the column headed
7 ''Comancheisms" and substituted healthy
extracts from the Independent. Church
! Union, etc, with the caption Religious
! f Food"
:. Well at last Tie first number of the
Pistol, under the new management, came
out, and I was greatly pleased with its
appearance.
Il The day following the issue of the
G paper found me seated at my desk, pre-
pairing copy. Suddenly steps on the
stairs assailed my ears, and a moment
d later young lady burst into my sanctum
She was tall, boasted of red hair and
d freckles and the combined strength of a
: yoke of oxen. Her face was flushed, and
: [ saw that a storm was about to burs,
over my unprotected head. Unprotec
d ted. Isay, for my bat lay on the floor
g my wig lay on it and the gunsmith had
50 not repaired the three bushels Of revol
:, yers.
d Good morning" l said to the visitor
politely pushing her chair.
e She did not reply to my salutation, MOI
e accept the profered seat but moved
st nearer to me, caught sight of COW
c hide which she tried to conceal bchint
p her
n ".Are you the editor of the Pistol p
e she suddenly broke forth, her hand itch
e. ing to lay the cowhide on my person.
St Il am, Miss, | answered calmly a
I could 'sCan he of any service t
you this morning ?"
i '.Sir, am Miss Maud Esther Abigail
Buttons, the kilburs poetess, and 70
t. years the Pistols fayorite contributor"
N ssAh, Miss Button | answered tryin
to smile, with my eyes fixed upon tn
al cowhide, II feel greatly honored by you
ID presence"
a She did not notice my remarks.
lp .Do you ever read proofs z" she cried
II do"
G, 'sDid you read the proofs of my poeu
to 'sManfred," !" in this weeks Pistol p
II did, but [ may have overlooket
setuc
| guessed what she was coming to.
u 'sAnd pretty proof reader you are,
= she yelled, drawing copy of the Pisfc
I'd from her bosom You good for pothin
scamp, you have ruined my poeticai rep
utation Oh, you unscrupulous black
h. guard you scum of the earth y an
id the whip was raised menacingly over M
head 9'.
Id Calm yourself Maud Esther Abigail
Buttons, said, hoping that the acknow
"a edgement of her entire name would hav
some effect upon her. LET me see tn
10 cause cf the trouble, and 1 ssrctche
<, forth my hand for the paper
St But she stepped back.
In ss1he first ruin will read myself, sh
cried but the second perversion of beau
Il tiful thought is not fit for lady to reae
~ Rascal you have ruined me for life-fc
c, eternity! The manuscript of the fourt
I'd verse Of my '.sIanfred" reads thus:
- - Good spirit. heed my plain;ive cry,
y Reserve those days Of stain,
", And let ms tread my native hall,
With nimble foot again =
e. 'sTheres true poetic sentiment sh
cried" But listen how threads in print
Good spirit heed my blatant cry,
iii Reserve those days of stain,
or And let me tread my native ell,
With nimble fools again p g
IN / was staggered. In all my thlrt
- years of editorial life such batch {
~ errors had not crept into my paper.
~ really pitied Miss Buttons. aa
rs 81 am truly sorry for you,'' said.
~ t'I will explain in next weeks Pst.
and set the matter right
az Explanations will not restore my rep,
ID tation, she shrieked, and again the COW
Ia hide hovered over my hairless Uranium
ae | might forgive you for the mistakes