The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-09-22
THRICE MARRIED. In ONE
NIGHT.

NIGHT.
A friend OF mine, who lived il
Iowa, used to tell story Of wed.
ding that he Witnessed, where the
ceremony was performed on the same
couple three times in one night. He
was wandering through northern
Iowa, and southern Minnesota, on q
search for timber lands, and was ac-
companied by q backwoods adyentur-
or named Preston. Near the line be-
tween Iowa and Minnesota, they
stopped few weeks at the house
OF settler named jenkins. The lat
ter had buxom daughter, and was
we'll of for backwoodsman, and
the situation appeared decidedly IA
yorable TO Preston. So he courted
the daughter, aud was polite to the
parents; the result was that q wed.
ding was arranged and and the neigh
bors for ten mile around were invi-
tod.
jenkins was liberal provider, and
weddings were not frequent in his
family. laid in half barrel of
whiskey, and his wife and daughter
cooked enough for small army, so
that nobody should go away hungry.
There was preacher in the neigh.
| borhood, who had arrived there re-
Gently, and he was invited to unite
the pair. He tied the knot, and was
rewarded by Preston, who Diade q
mess Of the affair by dropping a coup
pie of silver dollars into the punch
bowl while trying to hand them to
the parson. The brides arm was
called into requisition to lift out the
cash, which she did with all the skill
OF native of Long Island fishing for
blue Points" with pair of oyster
tongs.
For the invited guests, the serious
business of the evening began with
the supper that followed the wedding
ceremony. Preston took his full
share of punch and straight whiskey
before retiring to the bridal chamber.
which was reached by ladder through
the floor of the garret. Mrs. Pres
ton had been taken there half an
hour earlier by the bridesmaids, and
when the couple had disappeared
there was a fresh assault upon the
whiskey.
1t leaked out in the course of the
evening, that the parson, was not an or
dained preacher, but only one of
those ministerial fedglings who have
been licensed to exhort." When
old Jenkins heard the rumor he went
for the exhorter and extracted from
him the horrible fact that he was not
really authorized to unite couples in
holy matrimony, but he had officiated
on this occasion because he thought ii
was all right, and nobody would
know the difference. Jenkins few
around like boy with humble bee
in his coat sleeve; he kicked the un-
happy exhorter out of doors, and
went up the ladder like monkey
climbing window blind.
Here you. git up, git upp he
shouted; "you amt married at all.
Git up this minute. Git up and
come down quick.
The voice osPreston was heard to
drawl out that he wouldn't get up,
and If his respected father-in-law did
not clear out and mind his business
he would get his nose busted
Jenkins explained the situation,
and the couple arose. In few min
utes they came down the ladder look
ing very sheepish, and the bride
blushing like red wagon. There
was justice of the peace in the par
ty, and he performed the ceremony,
which unfortunately for Preston, took
his only remaining silver dollar.
There were more drinks, and then
the couple again assembled the ladder
to their bridal apartments. Preston
muttered, as he climbed the ladder;
that if he ever found that parson he
would hurt his face SO that his friends
could not identity him without a
magnifying glass.
OF course the party downstairs,
who were making a night of it, talk
ed over the particularities of the we'd
ding, and their talk developed the
fact that the justice of the peace lived
in Iowa. while jenkins house was in
Minnesota. Jenkins was informed
of the situation, and away he went
once more for the ladder. lie was
louder than before, and his first
works met prompt answer from
Preston.
ssNow look here, old man." said
Preston, as he bounded out of bed.
"There has been fooling enough
around this yere ladder to night, and
if you don't git I'll bust your head. .
He picked up cow-hide boot, as
he spoke. and advanced menacingly.
A shrill voice from the bed, urged
him not to hurt ''pa."
''Don't shoot, don't" said Jenkins,
as he retreated down the ladder, till
his head was level with the garret
floor. There he paused and explain
| ed the new state of affairs to the en-
ragged bridegroom, who stood over
him with boot uplifted, ready for q
blow.
Preston accepted the explanation,
and the result was that the couple
rose and dressed and descended the
ladder. Then, with Mr.. and Mrs.
Jenkins, and oil of the guests who
were sober enough to stand, they
walked half mile down the road tc
the Iowa line, and entered the Bad
ger State. There the justice again
united them. 'sAnd this time," saic
he as he concluded the ceremony,
"you are married, sartin, sure"
THE latest novelty of certain ru
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