Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-08-11
.THENAGAZETTE
CEDAR FALLS. AUGUST IL, 1871.
The Editors Guests.


# The Editors Guests.
M Br Will N. cARlEroM M~
me following, from the pen Of De new youns
lore fhe Michigm State Publifhsiy' Rssoc cisti % d
at ite recent annual meeting at Bay City. We
comxnend its perusal to all who would enjoy nt
erafy treat, and at the sams time imbibe, ia .
pleasant way, some knowledge Of the peculiar
trials and troubles, joys and sorrows, Of an edi'
tors life:
The editor sat in his sanctum his countenance
furrowed with care,
His mind at the bottom OF business, his feet al
His cha,a asa'5 an e, his right hand
His eyes on his dusty old table, with different
There were thirty long pages from Howles, with
underlined capitals topped,
And short disquisition from Growler requesting
nv, his newspaper stopped;
Ana sihy sgm nom Pioddss, ths 6lnsEasscsss
rt;rrs y 3 cScT1Pis S,1yS.s o. s heifsrs
bills from grocer or two,
And his best leader hitched 10 letter, which in
-, quired II he wrote ii, or whot
There were raptures Of praises from writers OF the
smooth and melliiuous scheol,
he was a fool;
There where several long resolutions, with name,
telling whom they were by,
eanonizing some harmless old brother who had
done nothing worse than to die;
There were traps on that table to catch him, and
serpents to sting and TO smite him;
There were gift enterprises to sell him, and bit
tiers attempting to.bite him. III EUk&kt !
There were long staring .'acs" from the city, and
money with never q one,
Which added, Please give this insertion and
send in your bill When you're done -
lhere were letters from OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES meet.
y. ings, their wants and their laws
Nhich said, Can you print this announcement
for the good OF our glorious cause ~
There were tickets inviting his presence to festi
walls, parties and shows,
wrapped In notes, with Please give us notice,
demurey slipped in at the close;
In short as his eye took the table and run DER is
r ink spattered trash,
There was nothing It did not encounter, except.
Ing, perhaps, II was cash.
The Editor dreamily pondered on several ponder
GUS things,
On different lines of action and the pulling of DIFF
Upon some equivocaI doings, and some unequivo.
cal duns;
on how few Of his numerous patrons were quietly
prompt,paying ones;
On friends who subscribed Just to help him, -
and wordy encouragement lent, liz
And had given him plenty OF counsel, hut never
On vinegar kind-hearted people were feeding him
every hour,
Who saw not the work they were doing, but won
dered that printers are sour"
on several intelligent townsmen, whose kindness
was SO without stint, eg
That they kept an eye out on his business, and
told him Just what he should print;
On men who had rendered him fayors, and never
pushed forward their claims
SO long as the paper was crowded VITA locals con-
tanning their names:
On various other small matters sufficient his tenn,
And finally contrived to be making the blood Of
an editor boil.
And so one may see that his feelings could hardly
be said To be smooth,
And he needed some pleasant occurrance his
awakened emotion to soothe;
He had II for loi on the threshold, slow and re
And a farmer Invaded his ssnctum, and these are
the words that he said:
Good mornin', sir, Mr.. Printer; how is your
Pm glad you're to home; for you fellers IL al ays
away; g n
Your paper ans Lac. wse 20 spicy nor sharp as
But s'pose when the campaign IL opened, you'll
- be whcopin' II up to 'em more.
That fellow that's printin' The Snasher IL goin'
for you pretty smart
Aud our folks said this mornin' at breakfast they
9 Thought he was gettin' the start q o y z
"But hush 'em up in a mint and said good
word for you;
told 'em believed you was tryin' TO do lust as
well as you knew;
And told 'em that some one was sayin', and who
ever t was IL il SO.
That you can't expect much of no one man, nor
Rn, ,l,a blame s,, ein iSr what be don't know :.
And thought would see II you couldn't make
an editor outen O. him.
my family stock is increasin' while other folks
seems TO run short.
I've got right smart OF family-it's one OF the
old fashioned sort.
There's lchabod. Isaac and Israel, workin' away
on the farm
They do bout as much as one GOOD boy-and
make things 60 off like charm.
There's Moses and Aaron are ely ones, and slip
But there tersble stsady in onething -theyal'ays
get rouHd TO their meals. 3kN
Theres Petsr Is bpsy ginsentinf tttcugh ahat he
And JoseRh + SUD medicine -ana they're
"There's Abram and Albert is married, each work.
in my farm for himself
And Sam smashed his nose at the shootin' and so
he is laid on the shelf.
The rest Of the boys are all CROWN, cept this lit
tie runt, which Is Jim;
And thought that perhaps I'd be maxim an edi.
tor outen o. him.
"He Amt no great shakes for labor, though I've
And give HIM some strappin' good arguments
know he couldn't help but TO feel / - .sags
But he's bnilt ont o. seconds class timber, and
nothfn' about him is big, ~ ~ w. - -"
Exceptin his appetite only, end there he's as good
asa pig.
II keep him carroin' luncheens, and film and
bringin' the jugs,
And take him among the pe,tetoes, and set him to
piekin' the bugs;
And then their Is things to be adoin' helpin' the
women In the doors
There's churnig' and washin' of dishes, and other
description Of chores.
But he don't take to nothin' but yctuals, and he II
never be much I'm afraid,
him the Editor'strsde. s--sr F-~x " {
His body Sec small for farmer, hir judgment
But thought we perhaps could be maxim an Edi.
tor outen o. him.
ut amt much to get up paper IL wouldn't take
bim long for to learn;
He could feed the machine, am thinkin', with
some good strappin' fellow to turn:
And things that was once hard In doin' 10 easy
enough n0s0 t0do- ~
Just keep an eye on your machinery, and crack
your arrangements right through
used for to wonder at readin', and when 1t was
But 'tls most Of it made by machinery can see
it all plain enough now
different designs,
Each one with guage and chopper to see to the
And ! 's Sssf Ess Yorf ! Neiairvsyanti \ rAnis os
And d Sntis' III cs heaven sorn ptodusties atA
. coupleof liars apiece III FENT
AM ssince he Whole trsde has gros a seasy,
II you was agreed, to be maxim an Editor outen
of Jim"
The editor sat in his sanctum, and looked the old
Then glanced al the grinning young Hopeful, and
modrnfully made his reply:
rs your son small unbound edition of Moses
and solomon boths
Can no compass his spirit with meekness, and
strangle natural oathf
Can he leave all his wrongs to the future and car
ry his heart In his cheeki
Can he do an hours work In minute, and live on
sixpence weekf 8aWF UrE#A
Can he courteously talk to an equal. and brow
beat an impudent dunecf
Can he keep things In apple pie order, and do half
Can he press all the spring. of knowledge with
quick and reliable touch?
And be sure that he knows how much to know and
kaocs how to not know too muchs
Does he know how to spur up his virtue, and put
check rein on HIS pridef
Can ne carry gentleman's manners within rhi-
Can he know ALL and do all, and be all, with cheer
fulness, courage and yimSrs 4st~.
II 90, We perhaPs can be makins an editor oaten
ef him."
The farmer stood curiously listening, while won.
der his yisage 0'erspresd,
probably out Of his head"
But, 10 on the rickety staircase, another reliable
AND sintssea another ehiAmer, and shssears the
words that he said
Good morning, sir, Mr.. Editor; how IL the folks