The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-05-02

I
the following unique note for her hus-
band:
"DEAR HUBBY Your played out.
like DIR. --- so well that l prefer
going with him-you good d-for-nothing,
degenerated cuss. It's none of your
busines where we've gone to. 1t won't
do you bit of good to follow us, for
wouldn't live another day with you to
save your life. You made a mistake
in thinking loved you; never did;
l married you for convenience sake. /
take the baby along, and I'll take care
OF it. You can sue for divorce-get
married sUon as you please, the woman
who gets you next will have a healthy
old prize. Goodbye. Be virtuous and
you'll be happy. Your LATE WIFE.
Mr.. S-,a a young member of
the New York bar, is somewhat ted
for his sarcasm, when excited, as for
his ordinary humor and wit. A short
time since, in the management of
tough case in one Of our upper courts,
he quoted in presence Of court and
jury the proverb, "Cast not thy pearls
before swine" AS he arosc to sum up,
having been somewhat nettled at the
repeated ruling of the court against
him, the judge tacetiously remarked
to him
"Be careful, Mr.. s., that you
do not cast your pearls before swine"
Don't be alarmed, your honor |
am about to address the jury, not the
court !"
The following isn't very slow; A
youthful hen found an egg, and yield
ing to the vernal instinct, sat upon it
until the process of incubation was
complete Her mother, who had laid
the egg and taken great pains in shap-
ing and coloring it, came along, and
seeing only the broken shell, burst in
to tears, and said: "Alas, my daugh-
ter, who has destroyed my favorite
egg ?" The feathered offspring quick
ly responded: 81 cannot tell a lie,
mother, cannot tell lie; 1 did it
with my little hatch-it"
The Devil" of newspaper in Val
lejo, CAL, recently stepped into dry
goods store to negotiate for a cap. Not
having the pecunary consideration
about his clothes, he told the trader to
charge it to him. Trader entered the
account upon his books to Satan, and
the other day when the bill was pre-
sented (Which read Satan, Dr., to o.
p. Van Schenck, for one cap, Sl")
orly, IL -
to Satan, did you? Well, just go to
h-ll aud collect J"
A little four year old remarked to
her mamma going to bed, 81 AN not
afraid of the dark"
"No, of course your are not" re-
piled her mamma, "for it can't hurt
you"
"But, mamma, was a little afraid
once, when | went in the pantry in the
dark to get cookey."
"What were you afraid OFF" asked
her mamma.
81 was afraid 1 couldn't find the
cookies"
The Philadelphia Democrat who
would rather rot in poison than pay
the fine imposed by Judge Ludlow for
refusing to serve on jury with col
ored man, has concluded that as
"rottist" he is not success, and has
accordingly paid the fine and been re-
leased. His counsel had attempted to
obtain his release by habeas corpus, but
Judge Sharswood would not grant the
writ.
We are informed that seven hor-
ses, nine set of new harness, between
four and five tons of chop, and all the
numbering tools, etc., belonging to
Messrs. Finney & Barrows, at their
camp on Dents Run, were consumed
by fire, on Tuesday evening, April IL,
The loss sustained is estimated at
about three thousand dollars. Clear
field Journal.
A gentleman travelling on steam
er,one day,at dinner was making away
with large pudding close by, when
he was told by the servant that it was
desert. at matters not to me-" said
he, II would eat it if it was wilder
ness"
A Mississippi paper shows the adj
vantages of advertising, by telling of
a man who advertised in its columns
for lost COW, and had it restored to
him with copy of the paper stuck
on its horns"
A Bennington paper reports that
prisoner in the county Jail fell out while
leaning against the wall, and that the
institution is to be papered for better
security.
Mark Twain having sold his inter-
est in the Blu flalo Ezpress, has gone
tn Elmira to live, threatening to aban-
don pen-and-ink labor for the remain
der of his life.
Young woman should set good ex.
amples, for the young men are always
following them.
Song Of man going to have
tooth drawn: "How happy would be
with ether"