The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-08-02
BREvTTIEs.

The weather Is dry anu hoI III tlie
region.
Green apples and peaches are in
market.
Grapes hang full, and will be very
plentiful.
Our machine shops are crowded
with work.
A constant gleaner-The tax
erer and death.
Parental acres-The old mans
corns, produced by hard boots.
Deep rooted sorrow that refuses TO
be comforted-the toothache.
Shooting, ~stabbing, stealing and
numbering seems to be the order of
the day,
The National Camp Meeting has
commenced at Urbana, and will con-
tinue for some days.
The woman that maketh a good
pudding in silence, is better thar one
that maketh a tart reply.
The new cattle disease is prevailing
to a considerable extent in Connect
cut.
Greeley spe that he has been
casting his pearls before Pennsylvania
pig iron men.
A snake got in bed with a young
man at Hannibal the other night, and
the young man got out.
A movement is actively progressing
in Dayton to erect a monument to the
memory of Vallandigham.
Be deaf to the quarrelsome, blind
to the scorner, and dumb to those
who are miscbievousIy inquisitive.
Fulger, the flying man, did not u
coed efulgently, and is now trying to
sell his wings for a new pair OF legs.
A Kentucky colored man stole a
bottle of varnish. A ''brush" was
furnished him gratis, applied twenty
nine times.
Tennie G. CIafin publicly announ-
ces herself as a candidate for Congress
from the Eighth District in New York
City.
Nav Ballard, an old maid of La
Crosse, took a hot brick to bed with
her to warm her feet, and burned up a
$1,000 house by it.
Mrs. Laura Fair has published an
address to the public. She asks the
newspapers to a gossiping about
her.
There is a school teacher in Massa-
chusetts who. it is said, sometimes for
a punishment compels her scholars to
eat grasshoppers.
If YOU fall into misfortune Olsen
gage Yourself as we'll as o can !; creep
through the bushes that have the few
est briars.
"Kare," writes a note, the substance
of which is that a girl may be sure d
man loves her sincerely when he sits in
her presence for an hour without
speaking.
A Chicago man has been put in a
dungeon for prescribing ~hydropathi-
cally for his wife, with a water pitcher
alro.,efaro1 on hor haaA
A young man, caught straining his
sweetheart to his bosom, the other
night, justiies himself on the ground
that he has a right to strain his own
honey.
A Memphis belle has challenged a
man to marry. He yaliantly accepted.
and in twenty minutes there was 6
wedding. In twenty days there was {
divorce.
A citizen of the interior of Tennessee
went to a Memphis hotel, and being
served with vermicelli soup, repealed
it Indignantly, desiring to know i
s'you 'uns eat those internal wurrums.
John Noonan, who lives on thu
Licking river, administered a larg'
dose of the same TO his wife. He VIZ
under the influence of "licker" at tn
time
In Ceylon the marriage ceremony i
performed by tying the couple togeth
er by the thumbs. In this countr
they areemore frequently put togethe
by the ears.
Male agriculturists In Mount Pleas
ant, jefferson county, have taken t
wearing p~etticoats by way of distin
gushing themselves from the weake
Sex
The Washington Capitol is discus;
ing the momentous question: "Sha
we have a better White House 10 pu
our President in, or a better Presiden
to pat in eur White House?"
In the population of Great Britia
there is an excess of n million OF II
males oper the males in numbers
Here is an excellant chance for oil
bachelors to take their pick.
Poligamy and longevity do not seer
TO pull in the same traces. Accordin
to Mrs. Stanton, the mortality anon
the Mormon women and children