Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-10-05

A Contemporary reports money close
but not close enough TO be reached"

AN OLD lauy reading the market reports
for the first time, stumbled upon the quo
tation-" Coffee weak" and remarked,
"Well, | do declare, if they don't weaken
coffee now before it is pprched." s,-
"WoMAN is delusion, madam" said
a crusty old bachelor to young lady.
" A man is always hugging some delusion
or other," was the quick retort.
IT is related that when Bcecher was in
the country last summer he lost his hat,
and found it in about week in barn,
where be had left it, but with four eggs
in it. This is as it should be- Beecher
mad just written an culogy on the hen;
why shouldn't the Hen-re-ward Beecher?
JOSH B1LLINGs says: Never do any
work before breakfast. If it is necessary
to work before breakfast, lave your break
fast first. eta st4 ..t
The Yankee who was '1ying at the
point of death" Whitfield it off with his.
jack-knife, ann is now recovering.
A learned man has said that the three
hardest words to pronounce in the English
language are, 81 was mistaken ore
A MAN, commenting on the ruins of
Pompeii, said that it was very imposing
city, but very much out of repair. ata
A WESTERN girl, after giving her lover
hasty smack, exclaimed -" Dog my
cats. if you haint taken little rye, old
hoss.' t
Coral and malachite set with pearls will
be very fashionable next season.
1t is considered very bad taste to wear
jewelry in the street, even bracelets being
thought superluity. a1
The newly married can rejoice. A
.bridal chamber carr is being built at
Schenectady, and many others will soon
follow.
An old lady 10 years of age, named
Mary Michaels, committed suicide by
jumping in well, on the 10th inst, IN
Dinwiddie County, Va.
Mis- Ada Shriver, daughter of DR.. John
w. Shriver, of Dayton, has received the
appointment of Instructor of Painting in
the University of Michigan.
In Kansas wife who purchases person.
al property from her husband in good
faith, and for good and sufficient con-
sideration, is in equity the owner Of that
property.
In furnishing houses, the fashion is to
have the walls, carpets, furniture and
hangings of each room n different color,
SO they can be designated as the red-roonl,
blue-room. etc.
Many fashionable young ladies ars
adopting the French fashion of appearing
on promenade accompanied by maid.
1t is thought to convey an impression of
genuine aristocracy, you know. -s
For the benefit of young persons afiiic-
ted with freckles, we would inform them
that powdered nitre, moissencd with water,
applied to the face night and morning,
will soon remove all traces of them.
Foreigners often speak of the peeuliari-
ty of the voices Of Amencau ladies,
which are nearly always shrill, sharp, and
high-pitchcd. Climate has some effect,
we suppose, but early training has more.
An enterprising eight months pulet in
Indiana is now clucking around with her
second brood of chickens--the most nota-
BILE case of feminine precocity on record.
The daughter of an American lady. ~
leader of fashion. is to be married next
month to an English lord, who is to re-
ceive with her the income of fifteen thous-
and year.
The Ex-King of Spain, the Consort. of
the deposed Queen Isabella, is said to be
very skillful turner and wood-oarver,
and spends several hours every day in
making small images of saints out Of wood
He can out-whittle any Yankee.
We hear an attempt is to be made to
make crimson gloves fashionable when
worn with black tolettes We sincerely
hope not, as at distance the hands look
as they were bleeding, and the color will
certainly not be favorite among French
people since it was worn by the Com
munists. -
LITTLE six year old George having
been instructed by his aunt Kate to pray
for papa, and being one evening told by
her that he must now pray for mamma,
replied +" Aunt Kate you just hold your
horses now. Who's running this prayer,
you or me! ,sua
A CRUsTY old bachelor sends us the
following conundrum What is the diff
ference between honey comb and a honey
moon? A boneycomb consists Of NUM-
Der of small "cells," and honeymoon
consists Of one great 8 sell. t. ai
A CITY exq1isite, having become agri-
culturally ambitious, went in search Of a
farm, and finding one for sale. began for
it. The seller mentioned as one Of its
recommendations, that it had very cold
spring on it, Ah-aw!' said the fop,
- / won't take it then, for I've heard that
a cold spring ruined the crops last year,
and / don't want place with such a
drawback upon it."
"WELL, Tom," said blacksmith TO
his apprentice, "you have been with me
now three months, and have seen all the
different points in our trade. / wish TO
give you your choice of work for while"
+" "Thank'ee, SIR" "Well, now, what Of
the business do you like best?' Shut
ting up shop and going to dinner sir."
Now AND THEN.-A writer in the
Boston Transcrift tells how one morning
she demonstrated with her colored servant
for abusing his wife, upbrnidiDg him after
this manner: "Jack, what a pretty lit
tie smart wife you have. If i we're you,
L would try to make myself little more
agreeable to her, and-and-I wouldn't
strike her" The only answer from Jack
was Why Fse done married Lou;
l isn't courting her. 10
SOME queer scenes ensue in Wyoming.
where the women vote, serve on juries,