The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-07-20
AGRECEETURE = FRAUD
NOT BIZ II. c.

NIL 45I II. ..
The basest fraud of earth is agr;cul-
lure. The deadIiest ignis ydtl,s that ever
gLitLered to beguile, and dazzled to betray
is agriculture. L speak with feeling on
this subject, for I've been glittered and be-
guiled, and dazzled and destroyed by this
same arch deceiver.
She has made me thousand promises,
and broken every one of them.
She has promised me early potatoes,
and the rain has drowned them. Late
potatoes and the drought has withered
them.
She has promised me summer squash
es, and the worms have eaten them win
Ter squashes, and the bugs have deyoured
them.
She has promised cherries and the cur
culio has stung them, and contain living
things uncomely to the eye and unsavory
10 the taste.
She has promised strawberries, and the
young chickens have envetoped them, and
the eye cannot see them.
She has promised tomatoes, and the old
hens have encompassed them, and the
hand cannot reach them.
] arose before dawn to set out sweet
potatoes the ague seized me l had
| thirty chills and three pScks of potatoes.
l toiled in the heat of the day to cultivate
cabbages / raised twenty-five blisters.
but nothing more. / Iabored with the
latest twilight to hoe my melons, but
found the rheumatism.
No wonder Cain killed his brother He
was tiller of the ground. The wonder
is that he didn't kill his father, and then
weep because he had no grandfather to
kill No doubt his Early Rose potatoes,
for which he paid Adam seven dollars a
barrel, had been cut down by bugs, from
the head waters of the Euphrates. His
| Pennsylvania wheat had been winter
/ killed, and wasn't worth cutting. His
! Norway oats had gone to straw, and
would not yield five pecks per acre, and
| his black Spanish watermelons had been
stolen by boys, who had pulled up the
/ vines, broken down his patent fence, and
written scurrilous doggerel all over his
! back gate. No wonder he felt mad when
he saw Abel whistling along with his fine
French merinoes, worth eight dollars 4
head and wool going up every day. No
wonder he wanted TO kill somebody, and
thought he'd practice on Abel.
And Noah's getting drunk was not at all
surprising. He had thrown away mag
nifcent opportunities. He might have
had monopoly of any profession or busi-
ness. Had he studied medicine there
would not have been another doctor with
! in a thousand miles to call him "Quack -
and every family would have bought a
bottle Of ''Noah's Compound Extract oi
Gopher Wood and Anti Deluge Syrup. y
! As a politician, there Is no doubt he
might have carried his own ward solid,
| and controlled two>thirds Of the delegates
! in every convention. As a lawyer be
would have been retained in every case
! tried at the Ararat Quarter Sessions. or
/ she old Ark High Court of Admiralty.
But he threw away all these advantages
and took TO agriculture. For long time
| the grouud was 80 wet he could raise
nothing but sweet flag and bullrushes, and
these at last became a drudge in the mar
| ket What wonder that at last he did get
half peck ofgrapes that were not stung
to death by Japhet's honey bees, he should
! have made wine and drowned his sorrows
in Glowing bowl"
The fact is agriculture would demoral-
| ize saint was almost a saint when
went into It. I'm demon now. I'm
at war with everything. 1 fight myself
out of bed at four o'clock, when all my
better nature tells ne to lie still till seven.
l fight myself into the garden 10 work like
! a brute, when reason and instinct tell me
| to stay in the house and enjoy myself like
a man. fight the pigs, the chickens,
the moles, the birds, the bugs. the worms
Everything in which is The breath oi
life. l fight the docs, the burdocks, the
mulIens, the tbistIes the grapes, the weeds,
the roots-the whole vegetable kingdom.
fight the heat, the frost, the rain the
hail-iE short, fight the universe, and
get whipped in every battle. l have nc
more admiration to waste on the father oil
George Washington for forgiying the de-
struction of his cherry tree, A cherry
tree is only curculio nursery, and the
grandfather of his country knew it
have half dozen cherry trees, and the
day my young George Washington is siz
years old I'll give him hatchet and tel
him to down with every cherry tree on the
place. - Cincinnati Times.