The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-02-23

thc only organ WiIlouC stops, Is the
organ Of speech in woman"
1t was q wise negro who, in speak
ing Of the happiness Of married people,
said DAT ar 'genls altosedcr on how
dey Joy deyselyes.'
DR.. Franklin, endcayoring to kill
a turkey by an electric shock, received
the whole battery himself, when he
good'humorealy observed, "That in
stead ofkiiling turkey, he had nearly
put an end to 4 goose"
"A physician being asked by pa
: tiont if he thought little spirits now
and then would hurt him much, re.
piled, 81 don't know that little occa-
sionally would hurt you much, but if
you don't take any, it won't hurt you
at ALL"
u believe that mine will be the
fate Of Abel" said devoted wife to
her husband one day. "How so w re.
piled the husband. "Because Abel
was killed by a club, and your club will
kill me, if you continue TO so 10 it ev-
cry night"
* parson surprised farmer whom
he seldom saw at his minjstraGon, by
asking him directly, after y little re-
proof Of lis sin Of emission, Shall
we soc you at church next Sabbath ?"
''Y-e-s,' he replied slowly, "Ill 60
or send q h&nd~
The Oregon News has q local cdi-
tor who deserves promotion. Hear
him; "PeopIe may say and think what
they please about it, but we noticed it
particularly, and know that it was the
Iyoung mans pocket handkerchief that
was seen dangling under his coat tai
At the lecture the other night"
The chaplain Of a State prison, an
enthusiastic dcyotce Of the temperance
reform, had the idea that most of the
conyct5 were incarcerated because Of
The use OF whskoy. In his round be
met a sturdy man Of many stripes, and
put the usual question to him: "Had
whishey anything to do with bringing
you hcrey" "Eyorything sir, every
thing" explained the man The chap
lain was encouraged, and eagerly in
CURED how it was. "Well, sir, I'll tell
you how it was; the judge was drunk,
and the lawyers were all drunk, and SO
they fotchcd me in guilty."
Cutie Just,--Doctor Il was the
President Of Southern college, and
proicssed TO he very grammatical in
thcusc Of his language, and therefore
expected his pupils to be likewise.
Playing cards was strictly forbidden
on the premises; but, as is always the
case, this law is often violated by the
students without Being detected, A
number Of freshmen collected together
in one OF their numbers room, and
were enjoyinga good game of euchre,
when knock wGs heard ut the door,
who's there ?" one exclaimed tMe,"
vas the laconic reply. "Who's me g.
"Professor E" "You lie! Ha,
la, ha Professor F-- wouldn't saw
me,' he'd say 1T is l, sir p" The old
professor turned his back and went off,
knowing that they had him there.
When DR.. Dodge, electric physi-
oian, was lccturing through the State
on the laws Of health, he happened to
meet, one morning, at the breakfast
table, witty son of Erin, of the better
class. Conversation turned on tho
doctors fayorite subject, as follows:
"Perhapa you think l would be unable
to convince you Of the deleterious ef-
feet of tea and coffee ~ II don't
know" said Erin; "butgTd like to be
there when you do it," "Well," said
the doctor, "if l convince you that
,hey are injurious to your health, will
yon abstain from their use p "Sure
and ! will, sir" "How often 10 you
use coffee and tea z" asked the doctor,
Morning and night, SIR" "Well, do
you ever experience slight dizziness
Of The brain on going to bedY" "In.
deed, I do" "And sharp pain
through the temples, in and about the
eyes, in the morningS" "Troth, do,
sir" "Wcll," said the doctor, with an
air Of assurance and confidence in his
manner, "that IS the tea and coffee"
'Is il, indeed Faith, and l always
thought i. was the whisky l drank"