The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1871-08-24
stebbins Draws A Natural.

stebbins Draws A Natural
aTalking about ugly men," said White
Hat, "did you know Younglove stebbins!
You knew him, Sykes?'. 49,.
''I'll bet you" said Sykes.
"Wasn't he screamer !"
ale could get away With any Of EN-" said
Sykes
ON ell" continued White Hat, s'one night
me and Stebbins and Bob Egglestsn were up
to Pastors eatin' oysters, and after we got
through I went down to the bar to pay.
A lot of fellows were eating and drinking
there, and talking about homely men. Il
don't care what you say says one fellow,
svou let Bill Williamson work his face as he
pleases, and I'll back him agin the three
ugliest men in the Union ''l...g,' ~
allows that, Bill!' says another fellow,
looking at tolerably plain man with asmooth
face standing by.
asOh, he's foolin',' said Bill, swallowing
his toddy, and w!ping his mouth with his
hand. There amt nothin' disagreeable
about me-
Excuse me, gentlemen, says I, I'm
stranger, but is that the man you're backing
for plain features? /? p
"'That's the man. says the first spokes-
man.
aI turned round and leaned agin the bar,
and looked at him, and says l, mo paint, not
feathers, nor nonsense
" Nothing but the features that God has
given him. says another.
"sHow much would you be willing to
to waste on him !? says [.
Largely, says he. Heavy; money talks.
United States promises to pay, and he haul
ed out big pocket-book, and slapped it on.
the counter
"'Champagne supper would be nothiug,
says I.
"'Not reed-birds's eye,' gays he.
"I'm the man you're looking for says,
and in ten minutes we had a jury ''panelled,
and 1 was training Stebbins for his part.
"He hauled down the corners OF his
mouth, rolled his eyes as if he had a fit, and
I led him in. But kew in minute l was
beat That fellow of theirs stood in front OF
the Judges, and he looked like whole family
of wild Australian children rolled into one..
He never moved a muscle, but looked with
an idiotic leer at the ceiling, and waited for
the verdict. The jury didn't leave their
seats They said it was clear case, and it
was, and walked off.
Now gays l.. :Stebbins, you must do
your best; we've got two more chances, ana
1 want you to spread yourself:
"Stcbbins prepared himself and must
say he was melancholy sight.-The right
side of his moustache was stuck In his nose.
and his mouth was screwed around until it
touched the lapel of his left ear, and we
walked him in. But there stood their man,
and 1 didn't care about seeing another such
sight. Every hair on his head was standing
straight forward like fencestakes, and his
ewes were turned III towards his nose till you
could see the backs of them. never, knew
how he did it, but hope [ may die, IT ne
hadn't swallowed his nose, and there he stood.
The opposition gave ashout, and L knew we
was beat again. And so we was, and went
back, feeling pretty blue.
g We're beat, Stebbins, says [. 'and |
don't know what the blazes ails you, but l
never saw you look so we'll as you do to-day
Tom ,Eggleston was out of patience. III tine
cussed fool would stand natural, says he,
he'd beat 'em yet .
"The idea struck me in minute. Try
'em, Younglove, says I. Just leave your.
face the way Heaven made it, and let's go
in
"Stebbins was practicing before the glass,
but when he turned round and sobercd
down, looked at him, and says ], that's
enough If they can bert that face I'm
ready to pay -, :,
"Stebbins said it was no use, but we led
him in, in his normal condition, and when
they looked at him they. screamed. Even
their man, who had got all his faces into one,
and who stood there working his ears beside
and looking like wagon full of scared
monkeys, got q glimpse of stebbns, and
burst into roar The judges said | had
won, and the other. side gave it up and paid
the supper" E 1-