The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-12-08


clear This is the nearest California
paper ever came to telling the truth
about Oregon, hence there is yet some
doubts about the total depravity of the
folks down there.
If you should rush around a corner of
dark night, come suddenly In con-
tact with another man, and be Knocked
kerwhollop upon the wet and muddy
sidewalk, you would of course, veher-
mently ejeaculate, "D--og on itW
That's what we did last Tuesday night.
"ro obtain sweet milk" says the
veteran farmer Greeley, laying down
his pen, and gazing placidly into the
face of his inquirer, "To obtain sweet
milk, feed your cows twice a day on
sugar cane, and be sure and keep the
calves away from the mother while
teething."
A blushing damsel had man and
his dog up before the police court to
answer the charge of assault and bat
terry on the dogs part. When asked
what the dog did, she said 1t bit her.
When asked where, after considerable
hesitation and blushing, sac replied,
"On the left drumstick."
Rev. Mr.. Sweeney says he has resid
ed in the city of Albany nearly two
years, has conducted himself fairly,
behaved well, never passed the hat at
a religious meeting, nor gave church
festival, and he don't know what he
has perpetrated to cause the people to
run him for an office. However, he
bears his honors lightly, and lays them
down graceful ly.
\ burglar was caught ut Somerville,
(.Mass. from the circumstance of m set-
ing young lady In one of the rooms
in her night clothes. On seeing him
she tainted and fell into his arms, and
when the people of the house came In
he was trying TO bring her to with a
bottle of camphor. He said no gentle
man would go off and leave u lady In
such condition as that.
Andrew Wiley informs us that War
rem Gould, sent to the Penitentiary
from Corvallis four years ago, was dis
charged last month, having served out
his time. He also tells us that Jack
RAIDER, who was sent up from this coun-
ty year ago for forgery, will be out
in month or two. Mr.. Wiley speaks
in the highest praise of the officers OF
the Penitentiary, and says they have
the good will of all the inmates.
John Il. Peak ran oil with a Benton
county girl and married her, for which
he was prosecuted in the Circuit Court
ut Corvallis, last week; but the jury
got sight of the pretty wife whom he
gobbled up by the operation and unan-
imously voted that they would have
done it too-so Peak Is chunky dory,"
and the batIlcd father of lfrs. Peak
cusses all the Peaks in existence
from Nary's Peak down to John Peak.
ACCIDENTALLY SHoT.-About three
weeks ago Mr.. Russell Afford, living
near Harrisburg, while out hunting,
was shot by his brother-in-law, Mr..
John Rodgers, who was his companion
in the hunt and who had mistaken him
for n deer. The ball entered the thigh.
shattered the bone to some extent. and
lodged on the opposite side of the thigh
under the skin, thereby infiicting a &C.
we're, though not fatal wound. We are
indebted to our efficient Harrisburg
agent, Sam. May, for this item.
NARROW EsCApE.-Ou last Wednes-
day, Daniel Gaby. Esq, OF SrIo, while
to his home from this city,
G ctme near drowning in the Santiam,
which he attempted to ford, on hors,-
back. The unexpected rise and the
strong current, carried him down
stream to n drift where his horse was
drawn under and drowned, and from
where he was fished to terra drH1n by
a rope in the hands of men who hap
pened to be near at the time.
CHRISTMAS BALL.-There will be n
grand ball given at Parrish's Hall, ON
evening, Dee. 18th, 1872. A
good supper and the best of music will
be furnished for the occasion. a gen.
eral invitation and cordial welcome
Is extended to all lovers of the "maZy
10 nee"
Committee Of Arrangements-Isaac
Conn, J. X. Herren.
Floor Mandgers-P. C. Harper. y.
B. Humphrey, r. c. Clark, n. Baum.
Tickets. including supper, 81.
A BASE CREATURE.-We are credi-
bly, informed by gentleman OF this
city that the wretch who was last week
at Jacksonville by Miss
Hannah Rails, for slander, was several
years ago arrested i'm Polk county for
morse stealing, and only escaped the
by turning States evil
lence against his companions in thiev-
,ry. He is just the creature for so base
use as that to which he was put in
Jacksonville.
SANTA CLAUS Is coming. Ed. Free
and has engaged his services during
he Holidays and all you've got to do
$ to call at the post Office in few days
md leave your order. The old fellow
will have magnificent lot Of Hoili-
lay books, albums, and other beautiful
md useful articles which he expects to
avish upon our community with boun~
iful profusion-if he is only slightly
with moiety OF the mag
C coin.
THE rat that was killed by the cat
hat was worried by tina dog that was
oss ed by the cow that kicked over the