The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1871-07-24
DAILY PRESS.
PORTLAND
MONDAY, JULY "a, 1871.
Aspecimen of UnexampIed Iuuoeeuc.
PORTLAND.

A Specimen of UnexampIed Innocence.
The following choice piece of sarcasm, from
the Metropolitan Record, which purporls to
have been written by young wife in New
York to her prim and specialized maiden aunt
in Boston, may, in truth, have been indited
by the latter amiable lady herself, with view
to exposing the absurd infatuation with which
girl-brdes shut themselves up in the deusion
that their husbands are embodiments of per-
fiction. If the old lady did write the docu-
ment, it was hardly fair of her to go and palm
it off ON the innocence of inexperienced
bridehood:
AN EXHAUSTED HUSBAND.
My Dear Aant: Although you told me
when invited you to my wedding, that was
700 young to marry, and not capable of choos-
| ing mate Tor life properly, and with due
consideration, l know that you may now feel
| that l was wiser than you thought. In select
| ing dear Orlando have gained a most affsc.
tionate and attentive husband, and one who
has neither fault nor a vice. Heayensi-
What must girl suffer who finds herself
united to disspated person, negectful of
her, and disposed to seek the society of nm
worthy persons, who drink, smoke. and do all
sorts of dreadful things
Thank Heaven, Orlando is perfection.
To-day is my eighteenth birthday, and we
have been married year. We keep house
now, and can make pretty good pie, only
the under crust will be damp. However, 1
think that must be the oven. Once put
peppermint in my pudding sauce instead of
lemon flavoring; but then Orlando was irving
to kiss me right before the girl, who didn't
much like either of us going into tie kitchen
at al.
The flowers are coming up beautifully in
the back garden. We sowed great MANY
seed but hardly expected so many plants
Among the most numerous is one variety
with very large leaf, that scratches ones fin
gers, and don't smell nice. l wonder what
it is. Orlando frightens me by taking about
weeds; but seeds always come up don't they?
Dear Orlando! come back to him again
so excellent, temperate and true. Tel all the
girls to marry as soCn as they can, if they can
get a husband like mine.
have but one trial-business takes him so
much away from me. A lawyer must attend
to business, you know; and sometimes they
carry on the cases until two at night. Often
and often he has examined witnesses until
half past twelve, and come home perfectly ex-
hausted. And the nasty thing, will smoke so
that his coat quite smells of it. And as il
makes him as i'll as it does me, l have to air it
and sprinkle cologne wafer before he dares to
put it on again.
had terrible fright. the other night
dreadful. Orlando had told me that business
i think he said it was case of life and
death-would detain him late. So l sa: up,
as usual, with book, and did not worry un-
til one O'Clock. After that was little anx-
ious, confess. and caught a cold in my head,
nQpOInU thrOnOh the N -tairs vuip do, ipdc
for, dear aunt, it was not until three O'Clock
that | heard cab driving up the street, and
saw it stop at our door. Then l thought l
should faint, for was sure some dreadful ac-
cident had happened to Orlando.
ran down to open the door, and Mr.
Smith, friend OF Orlandos, who is not, l
confess, very much to my taste-such red
faced, noisy man was just supporting my
dear boy up the steps.
so, what has happened ?" cried 1.
"DOn't be frightened, Mrs. White" said Mr..
Smith. Nothing at all, only White is little
exhausted. Application to business will ex-
haust man, and l thought I'd bring him
home."
"All right, Bell" says Orlando; "Smith tells
the truth-Pm exhausted"
And, dearest aunt, he was so much so that
he spoke quite thick, and couldn't stand up
without tottering Mr.. Smith was kind
ShOuoh W iSip hiul up SldlTS, anu ne lay up
on the bed so prOstrated that l thought he
was going to die. Then l remembered the
French brandy you gave me in case of sick
ness; l ran to get it out.
"Have little brandy and water, dear?"
said.
"The very thing. Smith is exhausted, too.
Give some to Smith," said he.
And SO l reproached myself for not having
thought of it before Mr.. Smith was gone Bus
I Irrau ulacc fn rlo
dence, think 1T saved his life; for, o, how
bad he was!
BELL" said he, quite faltering in his speech,
"the room is going round so fast that can't
catch your eye. And besides, there's two OF
you, and don't know which is which,"
knew these were dreadful symptoms.
"Take drink, DEAR" said l, and I'll try to
wake Mary, aud send her for the DOCTOR"
mo-" said he; "Pll be all right in the morn
ing. Pm all right now. Here's your health.
You're brick. T."
And over he fell, fast asleep.
o, why do men think so much of money
else? ' '"s
OF course, as he had laid down in his hat.
took that off first, and managed to diyest
him of his coat; but when it came to his
boots dearest aunt, did you ever take OF a
gentemans boots? probably not, as you are
iauy| Wudt tdoA hUW uO tUey ever
get 'em on? pulled, and pulled, and shook,
and wriggled, and gave it up. But it would
not do to leave them on all night; so went
at it again, and at last one came off so sud-
denly-and over l went on the floor, and in
TO his hat, which had put down there for a
minute. l could have cried. And the other
came off in the same way, just as hard and
just as sudden at last. Then 1 put a soft
blanket over Orlando, and sat in my sewing
chair all night. o, how heavily he breathed!
And had, as you may fancy, the most dread
ful fears. He might have killed him by his
over application to business, for all that
knew. The perfect one goes first, it is said
o how differently should l have felt had
anything happened to my beloved Orlando!
He has not had so exhausting day since
and l think sees the folly OF overwork;
though if courts will keep open so late, what
can poor lawyers do? I think it is very in
considerate of The judge. wonder whether
he has WifC-the mean old thing