The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1871-06-27
NUMBER l8
* o r N T.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

K0rn IL serial, am glad ov it.
1t got its name from Series: a primii
tiff woman, and in her day, the good.
ness ov oats. aud sich like
Korn il sumtimes called maize.-and it
grows in sum parts of the Western
country, very amaizenly.
I have seen it ont thare Is foot hifi
don't mean the akual .korn itself, but
the tree on which it grows.
Korn haz ears, but never haz but ono
ear, which iz az def az an adder.
Injun meal IL made out CIV korn, and
korn dodgers iz made out ov injun meal,
ard korn dodgers are the taffest chunks,
ov the bread purswashun, known tew
man.
Korn dodgers are made ov water,with
injun meal MKT into it, and then baked
on hard board, in the presence Of d
hot fire.
When you kant drive 10 penny nail
into them, with sledge hammer, they
are sed, bi good judges, to be well done,
and are reddy tew be chawed upon.
They will keep s years, in a damp
place, and not gro tender, and dog hit
with one Of them will yell for a week,
and then crawl under the barn, and NUT
ter for two days more
/ hav knawed two hours miself on
ione side Of korn dodger without pro.
Idusing emmy result.
They git the name dodger from the
immegiatc necessity oy dodging, if one
IL hove horizontally at yu in anger.
1t il far better tew be smote bi 3
year old steer, than korn dodger, that
iz only three hours old.
Korn was fust discovered hi the in
ljuns but WHARF they fonnd it don't kno
and don't kno as care.
Whiskee (nohle whiskee), is made out
ov korn, ,and whiskee Is one ov the great
est blessings known tew man.
We never should have bin able tew
lill out State prizons with energetic men,
and our poor-houses with good eaters,
/ if it want for noble whiskee.
We never should have had emmy tenn;
peraEce sons oys society, nor prize fites,
nor good murders, nor phatt aldermen,
nor whishee rings, nor nothing, if it
want Cor blessed Nhiskee.
if it want for korn, how could enry
body git horned? b.
And if it want for Citing horned,
what would life be worth T?
We should all sink down to the level
ov the brutes if it twant for Citing korn-
ed
The brutes don't git horned, they
hain't got emmy reason nor soul.
We often hear ov drunken brutes,"
this is a komplment to oxen which
don't belong tew them.
Korn also haz kurnels, and kurnels
are often horned, SO are brigadeer- gen-
erals.
johnny kake is made ont ov korn, sd
is hasty puddin. sS
Hasty prddin and milk is quick tew
eat.
I All you hav got to do IL to gap, and
swallo, and that il the last ov the pud-
din.
Korn waz familiar tew antiquity. Jo-
seph waz sent down into Egypt after
sum korh, but his brothers didn't wont
him TO GO, so they took pity on him
and pitted him in pit.
When his brothers got back home ,and
were asked WHARF Joe waz. they didn't
acknowledge the korn, but lied sum. ;.
1t has been proved, that it IL wicked
to lie about koIn, or emmy oy the other
vegetables.
There IL this difference between Icing
and saving wood, it is easier to lie, es
peshily in the shade.
Korn has got one thing that nobody
else has got, and that il a kob.
This kob runs thru the middle ov the
korn, and IL as phull oy korn as Job
waz ov bilcs M IgT2
alwus feel sorry when 1 think ov
Job and wonder how he managed tew
sit down IN a chair.
Knowing how to set down square on
bile, without hurting the chair, il one
ov the lost arts h-i-s
Job waz a card, he had more pash-
unce and biles, tew the square inch, than
usual. f.s-... .,...
One hundred aud twenty five akefs ov
lorn tcw the bushel il konsidered good
ltrop, but have seen more = sa2ibfa
l hav seen korn sold for 10 cents d
busilci, and in sum parts ov the Wes-
tern country, it iz so much, that thare
aipt no good law against stealing it.
In konklnsion, if yu want tew git
sure krop Of korn, and a good price for
the krop, feed about 4 quarts ovi itto8a
shanehi rooster, then murder the. roos-
ter immcjiately,a and sell him for II cents
pound, krop and all.