davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-02-04

HAvING made arrangements to import
IL large portion of our stock direct from
the Eastern Cities and an experienced agent at
San Francisco for the purpose Of buying goods
from first hands, we can offer inducements to
buyers unsurpassed by any other firm. Our
assortment will be complete in every depart
We Will Not be UnAers0ld
by any other firm on Puget Sound. e
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-02-04

ID OTHSCHILD CO. are Agents for the
n Celebrated Florence Sewing Machine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

TO bad advantage; one Of my arms wa
around Mats waist, my hand resting OF
the small of her back; she was toying with
my auburn locks Of jet black hair; shc wal
almost gone and was almost ditto. She
looked like grasshopper dying with the
hiccups, and felt like a mud-turtle cbok.
ed with Goldfish ball.
MAT says |, in a voice as musical as
the notes Of dying swan, "will you have
mc9"
She raised her eyes hcaycnwarl, and
cla'pcd me by the hand, had an attack Of
the heaves and blind staggers, and with a
sight that drew her shoestring to her palate
said, "Ycs." She gave clear ont then,
aud squatted 10 my lap. | Rugged her
till | broke my suspenders, and her breath
smet Of onions she had eaten two weeks
before.
Well, to make long story short she
set the day, and We practiccd for four
weeks, every night, how We would enter
the room to be married, till We got so We
could walk as gracefully as a pair Of Mus
coycy ducks. The night, the company,
aud the minister cane, the signal was Civ.
en-, and arm in arm We wen. through the
hall. We were Just entering the parlor
door, when down | went kurslap on the
oiIcloth, pulling Mat after nc. Some
cusscd fellow had dropped a banana skin
on the floor, and it aoorcd me. l,splt an
awful hole in my cassmcrcs, right under
my dress coat tail. 1t was too late to
back oct; so claspng my hand over it we
marched in and were Splccd, and taking
seat | watched tho kissing, thc.bridc opera
ton. My groomsman was tight aud kiss.
ed her till | jumped up to take a slice,
when, oh, horror! q little six year old imp
had crawled behind me and pulled my
shirt drought tho hole in the pants and
pinned it to the chair, so when jumped
up displayed to the astonshcl multitude
a triAa more white muslin than was pleas
ant The women gigglcd, the men roar
ed, and got mad but was finally put to
bed, and so my troubles ended. Good.
uight
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
Manhood: How Lost! How Restored!

S%gl4Just published, a new edition of Dr.
sEkSSCuLvERwELLs CELEBRATED Essay on the
sSSNS5radical cure without medicine) of Spe
malorrhoea or Seminal Weakness, lnvounta.
ry Seminal Losses, lmpoiency, Mental and
Physical lmpedimenls to Marriage. etc, also
Consumption, Epilepsy, and Fits, induced by
self.indulgence or sexual extravaganza.
DI'Prce in sealed envelope, only 6 cents.
The celebrated author, in this admirable
essay, clearly demonstrates from thirty years
successful practice, that the alarming conse
quences of Self Abuse may be radically Gu.
red without the dangerous use of internal
medicines or the application of the knife; point.
ing outa mode Of cure at once simple, certain
and eifectual by means of which every sufferer,
no matter what his condition may be, may cure
himself cheaply, privately, and iadicaly.-
DTThis lecture should be in the hands Of
every youth and man in the land.
Sent, under seal, in q plain envelope, to my
address. on receipt of six cents or two postage
stamps. Also, DR.. Culverwell's Marriage
Guide" rice 25 cents Address the Publish
es, CHAS. J. @. KLINE 4 co,
l27 Bowery, New York, P.O Box 1886
sept %, ls7l-ly. Pa co.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
A Wife's PRAYER.

A wifes prayer, nearly as beautiful as
the prayer Of Naomi, is expressed in these
words:
Lord bless and preserve that dear per-
son whom thou hast chosen to be my hus.
band; let bis life be long and blessed, COM
Portable and holy; and let me also become
great blessing aud comfort unto him, q
sharer 10 his sorrows, meet helper in all
accidents and changes in the world; make
me amiablc forever in bis eyes, mud forever
dear to him. Unite bis heart tome in the
dearest love and holiness, and mine to him
in all sweetness, charity aud compliance =
Keep me from all uugcnteness and dis.
contcntedncss and unreasonableness Of
passion and humor and make me humble
and obedient, useful aud observant, that
we may delight in each other according to
Thy blessed word; that both of us may re.
joicc in Thee, having our portion in the
love and service Of God forever Amen
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
HEARTH, 80 AuTY,
Strong and pure rich blood Increase Of flesh
and Weight Clear Skin and Beautiful
Complexion secured TO ALL
DIR. RAILWAYS
Sarsaparillian Resolvent

SarSaparllllan ReS0lVenC
Has made the most astonishing cures 50 quick,
so rapid are the changes the body und rgoes,
under the .nhnense Of this truly wonderful
medicine that every day an increase in flesh
and weight is seen and felt
THE GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER.
Every drop Of the Sarsaparillian Resolvcnt
communicates through the Blood, Sweat. Urine
and other flutes and juices of,he system Of tho
yigor Of life, for it repairs the waste Of HE body
with new and sound material. Scrofula, Sv.
philis, Consumption, Glandnlar disease, vi.
GERS in The throat, Mouth, Tumors, Nodes in
the Glands aud other parts of the system, Sore
Eyes, Slrumrous discharges from the Ears. and
the worst forms of Skin Diseases. Erup,ions,
Fever Sores, Scald Head, Ring Worm, Salt
Rhenm. Etysipeas, Acne, Black Spots, Worms
in the Flesh, Fumors, Cancers in the Womb,
and all weakening and painful discharges.
Night Sweals, Loss of Sperm and all wastes Of
the life principle, are within the curative range
of this wonder Of Modern Chemistry aud aiew
days use will prove 10 any person using it for
either OF these form fdisease its potent power
10 cure them.
If the patient, daily becoming reduced by
the wastes and decomposition that is con,nu.
ally progressing, succeeds in arresting these
wastes, and repairs the same with new mate.
rial made from healthy blood,--an this the
SARSAPARlLLIAN will and does secure--a
cure is certain; Tor when once this remedy com.
mences its work Of publication, and succeeds
in diminishing the loss Of wastes, its re pairs
will be rapid, and every day the patient will
feel himself growing better and stronger the
food dgesling better, appetite improving, anil
flesh and weight increasing. 1t is not only
the best remedial agent for The cue Of Chronic
diseases, built is the only positive cure for
KIDNEY AND BLADDER COMPLAINTS,
Urinary and Womb diseases, Gravel, Diabetes,
Drcpsy. Sioppagc Of Water, lncontinence of
Urine, Brights diseases, Albuminuria, and in
all cases where there are brick.dust deposits.
or the water is thick, cloudy, mixed with sub.
stances ike The white an egg, DC
DIR. RAILWAYS
PERFECT PURGATIVE PILLS,
perfectly tastecss, elegantly coated with sweet
gum, purge, regulate, purify, cleanse, and
strengthen. Railways Pills, for the cure Of
all disorders of the stomach, Liver, bowels,
Kidneys. Bladder, Nervous Diseases etc.
Price % cents per box. Sold by all Drug.
gisls. Read "False and True" Send one let
ter stamp to RADWAY d CO., 81 Maiden Lane
New York. Information worth thousands will
be sent you, [r.tcol Ijunc 99-ly
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
A Strange Freake of Nature.

A correspondent, writing from Cooto's
store, Rockingham county, Virginia, says:
"a strange freak of nature has taken
place in the track of the severe hailstorm
that occurred in this region some three
weeks ago. We are not aware Of any
thing of the kind occuriugr heretofore. 1t
is this: that all the orchards in the track
ofthe hailstormhav come out in full bloom.
Some orchards are in as full bloom as they
ever were in the spring. Not only the
apples are in bloom, but the locust trees
are in bloom A gentleman came to m,
house last week, and told me on his roat
here he saw an apple tree with sevcra
bushels ofripe apples on and thousands
bloom are on the same tree. A very pref
ty, but strange sight"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
.SJEST VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY.
Hon J T. HovE, Prcs't Board Of Regent,
n y Srupcps Spcsv

non. D HOFE, TICS DOaTu Vi Regents
G SrURGEs, SeC'y Z"
ALEX MARTIN, D. D., President, and Profess
CT of Mental and Moral Philosophy.
FS Lyon, A. NJ, Vice President, Profess
or of Eng. Literature, aud Princip. Prep'y
Dept.
S G STEVENS. A. NJ, Professor of Astrono
my and Physics.
II H PIERCE, A. NJ, Capt. U. s. Az Pro
fessor of Mathematics Of Military Tactics.
j j STEVENSON, A. NJ, Phi. D. Professor oil
Chemistry and Natural History.
FW Woop, Phi, D., Professor ofAnccnt and
Modern Languages
OW MILLER, A, NJ, Assistant in the Pre-,
paratory Department.
DB PurYros, Tutor.
Geo NJ HAGAys, Esq, Superintendent of the
Grounds and Buildings,
HuGn W BROCK, NJ D., Lecturer on Physiolo.
gy and Hygiene.
Hon JONI A Ollie, Lecturer on Civil and
Constitutional Law.
FALL Term begins LIST Tuesday in September
WINTER TERN I" lst monday in December.
SPRING TERM Sd Tuesday in March.
COMMENCEMENT, Sd Wednesday in June.
TUITION Preparatory, $500 per Term of 10
weeks,
University, $500 per Term of 10
weeks.
BoARplSd-Not TO exceed 81 per week,
Aug 10, 1869 -ly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
New Barber ShoD

John MARTIN has just opened to The ac.
y communication Of customers frstcass
Barber Shop, opposite Smith 4 Martins store,
Shaving, Hair dressing, Hair Cutting, Hair
Dying, Shampooning, &C., done at reasonable
rates Everything in his shop will be found
clean and neat, lie hopes by strict attention
to business, to merit large share ofpatronare,
tlvc HIN ac0ll' sept 81 en-
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

Lovers are not aware, perhaps, that it is
asserted that there is a vein which runs
from tho ring finger Of the left hand
straight to the heart, and when lady Of
fers you her left hand in parting there is
ii meaning 10 ii.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

Little faults become great aud even
monstcrous in your eyes, in proportion as
the light Of God increases in us; just as the
SUI, in rising, reveals the true dimensions
of objects which we're dimly and confused
ly disccrucd during the night.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

She had not been in this country long,
and didn't know any better than to use
the non'cSplosivc kerosene, The coroner
said it was very much like the other cases
that came under his official notice. This
'non'czplosivo' kerosene is getting to
have altogether too much to do with coron.
crs and sections. Why don't they try some
Of it on that Hoosiac Tunnel?
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

An 1owan has produced an invention
which the local paper says, will effect a
perfect revolution in the saving Of wood.
A circular saw, probably.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05
R. n. .R.
RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
CURES THE WORST PAINS

CURES THE WORST PAINS
In From One to Tneaty Minutes.
NOT ONE HOUR.
after reading this advertise ment need any one
suffer with pain. Railways Ready Relief is a
cure iorcvery pain 1t was the first and is
THE ONLY PAIN REMEDY
that Instantly stops the most excruciating pains
allays inhomations, and cures CONCESSIONS,
whether Of the lungs, stomach, bowels, or 9th
er glands or organs, by one application, in
from one to twenty minutes, no matter how
violen, or excruciaiing the pain the rheumatic,
bed.ridden, inhrm, crippled, nervous, neural
gic, or Frustrated with disease may suffer-
RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
will afford instant ease. Tnh,mafion Of the
Kidneys, Inflammation of the Bladder, lnAam.
nation Of the Bow els, Congestion Of the Lu ngs
Sure Throat, Difficult Breathing, Palptation
of the Hemt, Mysteries, Group, Diphlheria,
Catarrh Influenza, Headache. Too,hache. Men.
mlgia, Rheumatism, Cold Chills, Asue Chil!s.
The application Of The Ready relief to the
part or parts where the pain r'dihicul;y exists
will afford ease and comfort.
Twenty drops in half a Iumbler Of water
will in a few minutes cure Cramps. Spasms,
Sour Stomach, Heartburn, Sick Headache, Di.
arrhca. DysenIery, Collie, Wind in The Bowels,
and all internal pains.
Travellers should always carry bottle of
Railways Ready Relief with them, Afpw
d,oDs in water will p,eypn, sickness or Mains
from change If wafer. 1t is better han French
Brandy or Bittcrs as 4 sIimuant
FEVER AND AGUE.
Fever and Ague cured for fifty cents. There
is not remedial agent in this world that will
cure Fever and Agre, and all other NJ; larious.
Bilious, Scarlet, Typhoid, Yellow, and other
Frvcrs (aided by RAILWAYS PILLS. so
quick as RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
F.lty cents per bottle
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

At Long Branch the other day, one
young girl asked another to dance with
her" Indeed WON'T" was the reply;
"what do want another girl hugging me
fort" A glorious, sensible girl, that.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

They have horsc-aies out in Arkansas
some Of them are as big as ostriches, and
they worry horses terribly. But the far.
nlers out there have come game on them
that is likely to discourage further emf.
grafton Of this kind. They patiently watch
the varmint as he wrestlos with their ami.
mails, and after the horse has been disabled
by looss Of blood aud lays down in the fur.
row they just harness the "Ay" up in TIT
horses togsery aud keep right along will
the blowing There are people so iucrcd.
ulous as to doubt the truth Of this state.
mcnt, no doubt There is no pleasure in
writing for such people anyway.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

A gentleman asked negro boy if he
wouldn't take pinch Of snuff. NO."
replied the darkey, very respectfully,
"Polnp's noes isn't hungry"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

A young lady who lives in a town whero
masculincs are scarce, smokes because 'it
makes her smell like there was a man
about"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

A drunken man, sprawliug upon the
ground the other day, anxiously inquired
''if anybody else had been struck by that
earthquake"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

A Chicago paper has apologiscd for call
ing q citizen TOO yirtuous,' when it
meant to say ''too vireous"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

Not long ago gentleman had occasion
to reprovc his little son, aged four and a
half years, for an offcnso which had on
other occasions called forth words of cor
rection, The parent closed with, "Now,
Willie, | don't want to speak to you again
about this!.' which was promptly and very
decidedly responded toas follows: "Well,
pa, | doesn't want you to-" There was
nothing further to be said, but tho father
has concluded that the boy needs watch
Ing.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

: bed.
"Now," says I, "lct her rip! Dance
till your wind gives OUT Ai culdling
down under the quilts, Morpheus got me.
| was dreaming Of soft.shcll crabs and
stewed tripc, and having good time
when somebody knocked at tho door, and
woke me up. Rap! again. | laid low
Rap! rapl rap! Then heard whispering,
and knew there was a whole raft of gals
outside Then Lib sings out:
"Jack, are you thcre!"
EYES," said l.
Then came roar of laughter.
"Let us in,' said she.
81 won't" said |, Cant you let a
fellow alonc?"
"Are you abcd?' says she.
II am" says I.
SECT out" says she.
II won't" says |.
Then came another laugh. By thunder
lbcgan to get rilea "Get out, you petit
coated scarescrows!" said |. Cant you
get q beau without hauling fellow out Of
bed? | won't 60 with you'll won't, so
clear OUT
And throwing a boot at the door, | felt
better. But presently | heard a still,
small voice, much like sister Ibis, and it
said:
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the
girls things are in there"
Oh, mercy, whata pickle. Thick Of me
in bed, all covered with muNs, shawls,
bounets, cloaks, aud twenty girls outside
waiting to get in. With amuttcrcd pray
or for safety, rolled out among the bonnet
ware and ribbons in a hurry, Smash went
tho millinery iu every direction. | had to
dress in the dark-for there was a crack in
the door, and girls will pcep-aud the way
l fumbled about was death to straw hats.
The critical moment came opened The
door, and found myself right among the
women.
"Oh, my leghorn!.' cried one. "My
dear, darling winterv clyet!" cried anoth-
er, and they pitched iu-aud pulled inc
this way aud that, boxed my ears, and one
bright-eyed little pece-Nlat, her name
was-put her arms around my neck and
kissed me right on the lips. Human ma
ture could not stand that and | gave her as
good as she seut. 1t was the FIRST time !
ever got the taste, and it was powerful
good. | believe | could have kissed that
girl from Julius Cesar till the Fourth OIL
July.
Jack" said she, eve are sorry to dis.
turb you, but won't you sec me homcT
"Yes, l will" said |.
I did do it, and had another smack al
the gate. After that we took kind.
er turtle doviug after each other both Of
us signing like barrel Of cider, when We
were away from each other.
Twas the close Of glorious summers
day, the sun was setting behind a listan,
hen.roost, the bull.fross were commencing
their evening songs, aud pollywogs, il
their native mudpuddles, were preparing
for the shades Of night, and Mat and my.
self sat upon an Anticipated black log, list
,cning to the music ofnaturc, such as tree.
toads, ROSTERS, aud grunting pigs; now
and then the music Of jackass was waited
to our ears by the gentle zcphyrs tia,
sighed among the mullen.stalks, and leav'
lily laden with the delicious odors of hen
'roosts and pig.stys. The last lingering
rays Of the setting sun, giaucing from the
buttons Of a solitary horseman, shonc
through a kuot-hole in hog.pcu, full in
Mats face, dyciug her hair an orange peel
hue, and showing OF my thread bare Goa.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

There is a smallpox panic in Trenton,
N. j., and many of the leading families
are preparing toleave town.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

If small girls are waits, are larger ones
waters? Certainly" says sweet sixteen;
"at least the boy have the habit of apply
ing them to their lips in sealing their
vows"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-10-05

A delicate female partook Of twenty
eight different dishes at a Chicago din
ner.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-15


| QUEEN ELIzABErH.---ln lfAul
IHeintzpar's "Travels," 1903. is the
following description; "Shs was SAID
to be fty-fve years old. Her face
was rather long, white and somewhat
wrinkled; her eyes small, black and
gracious: her nose somewhat bent; her
lips compressed; her teeth black (from
eating too much sugar.) She had ear
rings of pearls. red hair (but ARTIFICIAL
and wore a small crown. Her breast
was uncovered Gas was the case with
all unmarried ladies in England), and
round her neck was a chain with prec-
ious gems. Her hands were graceful,
her fingers long. She was middle size,
but stepped majestically. She was
gracious. and kind in her address.
The dress she wore was of white silk,
with pearls as large as beans. Her
cloak was of black silk, with silver lace,
and long train was carried by a mar
chioness. She spoke English, French,
and Italian; but she knew also Greek
and Latin, and understood Spanish,
Scotch and Dutch. Wherever she
turned her eyes people fell ON sheir
knees. When she came TO tkc door
of the chapel, books where handed to
her, and the people called out, "God
save the Queen Elizabeth whereapon
the Queen answered: 81 thank you myn
good people"
"Among the spirited repartees and
impromptus of the queen which have
decended to our time is her ingenious
evasion of direct answer to a theolog-
ical question respecting the sacrament
of the Lords supper. On being asked
by popish priest whether she allowed
the real presence, she replied;
"CLIlss was the wori sha. spoke il:
lie took the bread AMI broke it;
Aud what the word dill make it
That believe, and take it,"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-15

CAMDEN AND RED RIVER RAIL
RoAD.-On our first page will be found
an interesting letter from the Hon.
John 7. Bearden, on the progress and
prospects of the road from Camden to
this place and on to Red River. The
substantial action Of the people 0!
Camden, leaves no room for doubt
as to their determination that this road
shall be built. We ask our people tc
read the letter referred 10, carefully,
and to make up their minds with re-
gard to what it becomes the people Of
Hampstead to do-what part they
ought to play in this enterprise. Al
to what Camden aud Ouachita county
will do, the faesis already settled that
they will aid the read to the extent ol
their ability. The trade of Hampstead,
Sewer snl Little River Camden can
not afford to give up. We understand
that the books will be opened for
subscriptions of land and money at
this place, during next week. The
Circuit Court will then be in session,
and great many persons will be in
attendance, all of whom can have an
opportunity Of becoming stockholders,
and then identifying themselves with
this most important enterprise.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-15

PREsIDENTIAL.-The Memphis APP
peal of recent date, says:
The first steps to assure Democratic
success in the presidential contest is
tho oonvocation of the Democratic
national convention at the remotest
possible point from New York. Sey-
mour's nomination and his defeat were
alike the deeds of Tam many. A wes-
tern convention is no less indispensa-
bic than q western candidate. We
would not have the Enquirer and Post
imagine that an objection to Tom Scott
is involved in this suggestion. A man
who carries several little States, like
New Jersey, in his breeches' pocket, is
never the victim of pent-up Uticas,
and he confesses no local habitation
who is himself a veritable locomotive.
Moreover, it is proper to say that Tom
Scott is Democrat, having been an
ardent adherent of Douglas against
Lincoln. He may be very proper
man, admirably well.ftted to effect
Grants overthrow. All the railroad
people In this vicinity are bowling for
Tom Scott; and. for ourselves, while
we are opposed to his wholesale COB
bling of railroads, are free TO say that
the aforesaid will have our support Il
he secures the endorsement Of the
Natiapal Democratic Convention.