The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1871-11-02
A Newspaper story.

A Newspaper story.
Some fcllow-a collector for n
Newspaper and other periodicals -
lately throw up his commission, and
rent back tho unpaid accounts with
notes which the spirit happened tc
lay hold on, aud tboy were present.
ed iu tangible shape to the world.
As there are living pictures met with
here and elsewhere wo mako ex.
tracts. The collector says:
10 TIE Editor :-Slr-You fur.
nished me as your collector, with a
list Of one hundred and seventeen ow
iug subscribers. | have called upon
one hundred aud four of them, and
have tho houor Of payiug to your or
der twelve and one half cents, being
the amount TO which you are entitled.
| return you tho list numbered from
one hundred to one hundred and SIX
teen, aud now give the reply to each :
No. LISA minister. He siys in
the first place, ho never got one bali
OF tho numbers, (a lie according to
the pos mast.r) and in the next place
your joker's column was too scurril-
Gus -Besiles he knows by the tone
Of your editorials that you drink. Ho
wants nothing more to do with you,
never wants to hear from you again
No. 2-ls 10 jail for debt. lie has
not seen half dollar for year. Says
he would pay with the utmost cheer.
iulness, If he had the money. Had to
borrow shirt 10 put on last Sunday
Admircs your paper wonderfully, aud
hopes you will continue sending il To
him. lie wishes you to take a bold
stand in favor of the abolition OF i'm
prisonment for debt, as ho thinks it
would DO very p,puia: move with
gentleman in his situation. Sends
his best respects.
No 3--Is a doctor SAYS YOUR ma.
per is beneath tho notice of q gentle.
man. Says he would not give
for cart load. Says that you insert
ed an article rejecting upon the pro
iession On!y wishes he cou,d catch
you here-would make you sine Il
-. Is going to pursuade overy one
that takes yourpaper to stop it. CuSs-
ed the bill, and says you may 60, i,
the best way you can.
No. 4-Is an old maid. Says you
are always taking n fling at single la
dies Of an uncertain age. Wouldn't
pay you it she was rolling in wealth
aud you hadn't enough to buy crust
Of bread. Sent all tho papers she had
back month ago, aud she says now
she has sent them and don't owe you
anything, She says she is even with
you and Intends to keep so until the
day Of judgment.
No. 5-Is q gambler. Says he was
completely cleaned out last week at the
races. Couldn't accomm odato his
grandmother with a half dino if she
was starving. Likes your paper toll
erably, would like it better il you pub
ished more races, AMI if you o'casion-
ally gavo an account ofa cock fight
Hopes you won't think it hard of him
for not paying it now, but has a pros.
pect OF having some loose change as
he is after a rich young gresnhorn
who arrived here last week. viii pay
your bill out Of the pluckings.
No. 6--Is a magistrate, Sworo he
never owed you cent, and told me
was low rascal for trying to swiudle
him 10 such bare-faced manner. Ad,
vised mo to make tracks in q little
less than no time, or he woald get out
warrant for me as a common cheat.
aud have me sent to prison. Is by
odds the meauest man have seen yet.
Never will 20 near him again.
The collector concludes with, "ac
copt my resignation, aud strike me
from your list of agents. l have been
called swiudler, rascsl, villain. and
blood sucker. Those are some OF the
names thcy think proper to bestow
upon me. triod lighting awhile, aui
,hrashed s,me of your patrons like
blazes, but occasionally got licked like
thunder, myself