The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-12-30
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

y
quitoes when H.. .a -. 'eln. However,
Tennyson is great poet, and consequently has
right to talk trash, such as would not be toler-
ated in "as''
Quincy is going to have an elevstor.-ReraI
What is that, new saloon?
ellen Orion" writes that "homely or plain
people should avoid all contortiens of the face"
How about people like ''us," who are 60 home
ly that any contortion Ct the face is an improve
ment upon eur looks?
Georgia paper has a feerfuly ear-itsting ar
ticle on mules-E1.
Merely mild way of pitching into radical
editors who support Grant -or whom Grant sup.
ports-same thing either way.
The Pontiac Free Trader thus chronicles the
demise Of fellow contemporary:
The Pontiac Herald has played out John
Hewitt. its late editor now pays for his railroad
passes, and its eighteea Subscribers wear Grape.
George Alfred Townsend says of Philadsl-
phia paper: ut appears, by its general thinness.
to use bean soup for printing ink, and to be edi.
ted by an oyster"
1t ought to be palatable to its readers.
The Tyre of the New York World gives forth
the following jingle:
There is Grand Duke named Alexis,
Who, from Main down to Southermost Texas,
In all our cities,
Must suffer committees
Cause of Russia his father the Rex is
A Greencastle maiden named Jenny dotted or
an adlnirar until he addressed her in a note az
Miss Jain" She then told him to ne'er speak
to her al ain.-IEd Sentinel.
Down at Ca7ja0j(Le they have debating 60
clety, and it isn'nt one Of your common, one.
horse concerns, either. The next uestion they
will tackle, says the DeAseesut, is:
Res0tJed, That the erection of a chain of stu.
pendous protuberances of the earth's pericle in
the northern frontier of the western continent Is
necessary to the perpetuity of the elongated ex.
'tence OF the indigenous inhabitants of the iasu-
lated portion of the caudal extremitles OK the
Andes
1t has been settled that Gideon Wells won't
fight duels, no matter how hard he may be push
ed.-Es.
Challenge him and he s-wells with indigna-
ton. You should let G. Wells enough alone.
Ii you don't stop using tobacco TIE first thing
yon know you Will have the amaurosis, angina
m0pshs.
them things"
'Rice Grains" says:
Five hundred lawyers are holding oonven ton
IN Louisville, and yet pcop'a pirate about the
"lawless south"
CD. Whyte Melville has written novel, com.
mencing: Dark and stern in their weird beau.
ty lower the sad brows OF the queen of bell" A
profane correspondent says he does not wish to
lead any further to satisfy himself that it ;s
HI OF novel.
The New York Ecening Post says the naeu
who expected places in the custom house, CON.
plain that General Arthur does not turn out az
well as they expected.
The Terre Hsute Mai gravely giveth loeaa
incident soly
oulus Brown, gentleman OF color, caught his
~ile oy her raven ringlets and famed her face
win oootJack, ct his residence in this citv
yesterday. Now the great connundrum is
What made Julius seizeerY
Twenty.eight ladies have been matriculated
In the University of Edinbusg during the pre.-
ent term.--Er.
a local paper in North western Iowa wants
to know wha, "mstricula,edr means. His die.
tionary is only from "A. S. s"-s beas, OF bur.
den,-to &c. Il. A. n Ito yiys-the RADICAL
president.
An illinois paper dryly states that: "Our ..po-
lex was leaning on his umbrella the other dsy,
when friend asked him il he remembered Bry.
ants beautiful hGes GU autumn. YES" be re.
marked, they 90 thusy: The melancholy day.
lave come the stddost of the year: when lis too
warm 'or whisky skins, and too cool for lager
beer
Some fathers too hard-hearted fo- any.
thing. A man scolded his tweve-year old son
L. ~ live minutes the other day because the
liza used his the isther- best Sunday razor To
oieh oysters with. w. don't see how the razor
cou'e hurt the oysters, auyhuw.--Er.
VI course not, but the juice of the oysters
might tend to rust the razor
Sohencks little speculation in IT,. "l,ittle En-,
ma business ~, of cuursc foreign To his tni..i,r
~ Is IN EmmsGrant bu,iuess-NsD York
Ledgtr
Lydia Thompson md her troupe ARE ,oip,. TO
E"''@eo' Al ~ pFon"hie that her mission Thu,
ti'"e Ia one % charIty she goe- TO show the
people ot Chicago how few clothes they real,,,
neei,--CiH,2H Register. ''"''"
This is news, because it is ,u,dl .ubeo,
Truly, the Register knows nude news.
Hero i. the way nn Indiana paper nut, j., =.
"rne seitrakior "elper has slain It's thousands: