The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1871-11-24
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
Court plaster-kisscs.

Court plaster-IAisscs.
! A capital misunderstanding mon
ey.
Autumn leaves-when winter
comes in.
Paper caHers-people who leave
their cards.
Advice to persons meditating law:
Keep your own counsel.
a citizen OfLoweII announces th-t
"a fue borders or mealler5 can bs
comdated hear"
The greenest of green grocers is Ao
who trusts the most.
A "sad dog" is defined as one who
tarries long at the wine.
Men who can't be bought-Thoss
no one will buy.
Note for oil me-chauts-whalaa q
boy and you will find him full OF
blubber.
A South Carolina paper disrespcrl-
fully calls its paragraphs OF North
Carolina news, 'tar drops
A wag, speaking OF a blind wood
sawyer, says that "whilc none ever
saw him see, thousands have seen
him saw
Gold is reported 10 he "wcaa.7
1t has a falling that way about tho
time Uncle Slm pays interest Oh his
bonds.
HUrcules is said TO have been
model husband rather than stay ou-
late at night, he invariably carried LIS
club home with him.
Some one feeling that actions usa
better than words has said: -3F-
read of the acts of the apostles Das
never of their resolutions"
The editor of the New York Nil
says that whisky distilled from t.-..-
adj thistles produces q pauctrgiar
and exhilerating effect, the sensation
being the same as II a jewsaLrp F.,
full tune was attached 10 every
nerve.
a very slender m5a asked 2 ir..l
what character he had better Is-...s..
st masquerade, Sa Z was advised ..
chalk his head and 20 as J..---i
cue; or he might braid his les aaj
appear Is a whip-lash.
Cincinnati has au app5ls-us -.~
consuming her own smoke. \ ra..r
in enviOUs Louisville says: Ii str
would but take another stride ar.i
consume her own whiskcv, we ai-5.
point to her with PRIDE
\ Boy in Oswego has perform a
wonderful feat. lie lieHiai l.r
with Kerosene with the loss OF only
two pair of trousers and tae SKIN .F
his leg. Most boys IL his place vpa.i
have put their parents 10 the cost o.
a funeral.
Cotton AIather used 20 sav there
WAS a gentleman mentioned iu t..
18th chapter Of Acts to - HON ae s-s-.
more deeply indebted than a'#.-.
any other perSon,-and thai va- ,.,.
town clerk Of Ephe-Js, who-- c-a1-
sci was to 90 nothing rl-i.y-
y young law student, just Le-,r-
ming his studies, was almUH.slCd g..
ole Of his friends who H-G Hl.g
tho mill. not to apply ..-.-
self too closely 81 first, bJ5 70 post
pOnc vigorous efforts until his u.iai
should become fully matHrej.
4 negro boy eight wears Oh '.=r
picture primer to teach hiu i.- '.--
tcrS. One OF the pictures j. ,H O. off
ouli chasing a hoy, which the .i..ie
darkey wat:hes from dIv % djt.
gleefuily exclaiming: "iIG Ea-n'G
;Otch'd him yet"
Some one wrote 20 iIgrlre Gr.c'r
if guauo was g2ol To- faf
on potatoes. He aIi3 il might .J
tor those whose tastes had aacum-
Eitiated with tobacco and rum, 5us
be preferred gravy or butter.
n subject fer triumph What
have you been crying for, George
Goth mamma wouldn't dive le
Goth got a thtumma-H-
lche,' "Ah Ia I've got a 'puu@c-
AXE and a 'tummach-ach, tJUt-
Punch.
Lawyer c. (entering the ofics o.
lis friend, DIR. NJ, and speaking ina
loarse whisper)-Fred I've got su.a
! cold this morning that can'tSpe
he truth. DR.. M.-WelI, I'm g.el
is nothing that will Interfere with
'Our business.
An East IUdia personal - Wc-rs
-ery glad to learn that the marriage
If Mr.. RughOOnath das Nadaouda-,
kupOla Bania merchant OF Bonn
'ay, with DhuncOOrbal. the daughter
f Shet Gudhurdas MOhuudas, ul
be widow of fLUchmichand Dausllu-
ey, was celebrated at ChinchpOo,iy.
avs hurt much -