Beaufort Republican. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1871-1873, 1871-11-02
a}eaufuyt County Aepubliean

A pleasant tune fortune
Neck of nothing-a ball dress.
St. Crispin's anniversary: AllSoles
Day.
Universal profession-That of goldchas-
Any two apples are alike if they are
pared.
A bad sign-To sign another mans
name toa note.
Beer fills many a bottle, and the peer
bottle many bier.
A Doctors motto is supposed to be
sspatients and long g-suffering."
Dogs are said to be The best dentists
because they insert natural teeth.
Wachtel, the German tenor, was once
a hack driver; now he is on the stage.
What age is most agreeable to man
lust started into business? Patron age.
The reason why successful vaccination
is always popular is, because it taxes
Our first mother was like the night
before the battle-the Eve ofgreat offence.
1t is stated as a fact that the mouth OF
The Allegheny river is larger than It's
head.
To poultry dealers-is there any differ
ence between hen-steal:ng and cock-roo-
bipg.
WHY are birds melancholy in the morn
niugp Because their little oiilS are dill
over dew.
A man must have very bad opinion
of himself, not to be willing TO appear
what he really is.
Sometimes our friends, during their ab-
sonca brino themselves to mind by send
ING their present.
A man with scolding wife says that
he has less fears of the jaws of death than
of the Jaws of life.
Facts should be put down IN black and
white. in another colored ink they mign'
appear ink-red,ible.
The height of Sabbatarianlsm-flno
ing bank-note on the pavement Oh
Sunday, and declining to pick 1t up.
What is the difference between an oys-
ter and chicken. One is best right out
of tie shell, and the other isn't.
Gardeners might not like to part with
their gardens, though they are always
yeadv to fork over their grounds.
A merchant of our acquaintance won
ders why he is obliged to go so often al
ter money that is coming to him.
A writer on school disciplines says:
ssWithout a liberal use of the rod 1t IS I'M
possible to make boy smart,
One who heard Buffers Temperance
sneech said, though he might deny the
cock tail he could not deny the cock-eye'
An exchange tells US that Mr.. Chase ex-
nericnces little difficulty in speaking.
This is a merit which too few politicians
possess.
Female pickpockets all wear the conVe-
r;ent Arab shawls. They fold their
shawls like the Arabs, and silently steal
away.
ssNot a spark of the milk of human
kindness about him." was the way
nervous Sunday school orator mixed MS
rhetoric.
A Chicago paper say, good deal OF
our religion is simple starch. That's the
reason it washes out Of some folks so
easily.
Trnth i immortal; the sword cannot
nierce it. fire cannot consume it, prisons
cannot incarcerate it, famine cannot
starve it.
ssI will be in the fashion if 1 die for it,"
said the ambitious belle, whose locks were
NOT the ruliuc tint; and die she did.
A Traveller reports that he has seen
nlants in South America with leaves thir-
ty-four feet long. That leaves all other
foliage in the shade.
Josh Billings says: Courage without
discretion is like a ram with horns at both
ends-he will have more fights on hand
than he can do justice to.
The difference between bachelor IN
love and married man in love is sald 10
be that the bachelor looks out Tor NO. i
and the married man for No. 2
A Boston clergyman lately spoke OF see
ts;th tho ,narl-6rOnS of a1ieC-