davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
THE WELLER Doc.
From the JOSH Billina. p.per..

4
Dogs hav infested this world Just about
az long az man haz, and will hang around
| it az long az thare liz emmy grizzle left on a
| bone.
We hav no reliable ackount ov the fust
| dog, and probably shant hav ov the final
| one.
If Adam kept tarrier, OF Eve poodle,
| the laps of ages hav washed away the fakt.
Ii Noah had pair oy each breed ovfdogs
| on board ov hiz vessel, and only one pair
| ov lees, he waz well ont for dogs and poor
ont for feas. But history il numb on this
| subjekt.
| The yeller dog has no pedigree, the blood
| in hiz veins IL az crude az petroleum, when
| it fust comes pumping out ov the earth, bit
ter, thick and fiery.
He is long, and lazily put together, hiz
ears flop when he shacks along the dusty
thoroughfare, and hiz tail il a burden.
Thare il no animashun in yeller dogs
TAIL it IL useless, the flies amt even afraid
ov it, it liz wuss than 10per cent mortgage
tew the rest of hiz body.
Viii the yeller dog amt born discounted
il MYSTERY tew me, but when ask miself.
WHARF would yu hitch the tin pan tew,"
then at once the folly of bob-tailed yeller
dog flashes ON my mind.
Ever since this kontinent was found bi
Christopher Columbus in 1892 and for what
/ kno, much time previous tew that, the vel
Ter dog haZ been a vagrant, travelling bi
moon lite, and hungry bi natur.
| WHARF he comes from nobody seems TO
kno, and if you speak a kind word tew him,
he thinks it kite in disguise, and strad-
ding his tail with both hind legs, he goes
suspicious, and sideways, on hiz lonsum
jurney.
Mankind have made him a vagabond, and
life tn him Is made up of starvashun and
brikbats.
If he Gums out ov his lurking place in the
hot ov August he is a mad dog, and the
common council at once assemble, the riot
act IL read, so dollars reward is offered,
men cum painting into town 'crieing ''mad
dog" thare two horse wagon was bit that
morning bi a yeller dog, the fury RACES, old
guns are kleaned up, the cannon IL run out
on the village green, danes talk to danes
ov the awful event, men look sober and
defiant, boys pocket thare marbles in the
midst of the game, pigs run squealing few
thare novels, and the whole body polite
surges with horror.
The poor innocent whelp haz done his
worst, and while whole village IL in ex-
tacys ov hydrophobia, he haz passed on. and
may be seen tugging away, in the suburbs,
at the thin bone ov a departed omnibus
boss
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
Taking n Din

A seashore correspondent gives the fol
lowing lively ''pen picture" of a scene
which will be familiar to many readers:
1t is very amusing to see the various
methods in which different bathers enter
the water at the seashore. Some run in
very boldly with skip and jump, but are
frightened at the first wave, and beat a
hasty retreat, to be followed by a more eau
tious advance; some dance about on the
shore in the widest manner, as if perform
ing can-can, with the ocean for partner;
Others walk in deliberately till beyond their
depth, when they turn on their backs and
float quietly along till wave lands them
high and dry among the promenaders. On
the shore the ladies trip down to the waters
edge in dainty slippers and pretty fancy
bathing dresses, and, after wetting the head,
walk slowly and cautiously in, whilst in
others it seems to produce the greatest
nervous excitement, and they scream and
laugh at the top of their lungs, beg to be
taken out, and when out implore you to
take them back again.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

An eccentric Scotchman, Farquhar Nc
Kenzie, recently died in Castleton, near
Thurso. More than thirty years ago he
took to his bed through religious excite
ment, and in course of time his body as
sumed such an abnormal condition that the
slightest cold affected him in the most pain
full manner. The air had, as far as possible,
to be kept gioved, and his only communica-
ton with friends who visited him was
through pane Of glass fastened in the cur
tains. With all this he appeared to be quite
in possession of his senses. and by many
persons was regarded as kind Of oracle.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A Methodist preacher of large muscular
frame and a huge hand, with a powerful
grip, some time ago was holding meeting,
at which quite an interest was awakened. A
number of persons.had come to the anxious
seat, and some had been converted. A
group, consisting of two or three young
men, and as many young ladies, were pre-
merriment. The minister kindly requested
them to observe decorum BETTING the place.
One of them ventured in rather an ungra-
cious manner to reply that they had ''under--
stood that miracles were worked there, and
they had come to see some performed"
Upon this our robust friend, the minister,
cody took the young man by the collar,
deliberately led him down the aisle, and
opening the door, without ceremony, landed
him outside, quietly remarking: ''We do
not work miracles here but we cast out
devils ~
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
The Fall Canlpaign.
Elections to be held during the remaining
months of 1871.

The Terrebonne Banner mentions the
separate conventions in this city last week,
and says:
Once more we will say that those proceed
ings ought not to discourage Republicans,
for no matter what disputes may exist tenn
porarily amongst few men in the party,
the principles of Republicanism viii remain
firm, this quarreling will end in smoke, and
when that is cleared away 100000 well
tried Republicans will be found, shoulder to
shoulder, battling for the good cause in
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

parallel for the fate of yallandigham ia
found in one of Boccaccios stories of girl
and her lover: s'They were in a garden
together; the young man raised a flower to
his lips and slightly bit. one of the leaves;
he fell; IN an instant he was dead. She
who was accused Of poisoning the man she
loved best on earth besought her Judge to
be allowed to revisit the fatal garden,
promising that she would show them how
the thing was done. They granted her
prayer. 1T was thus she said. plucking q
flower. She put it to her lips; her teeth
just pressed leaf; in an instant she was a
corpse
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
We copy this from the Monroe latelligen


Ger:
"Even the devil ought to have his DUE"
and, for that reason, we would refer our
readers to the proceedings of the House of
Representatives, in the Congressional Globe
of the twenty-fourth of February last, and
they will find the following:
Mr.. Morey: offer the following amend
ment to come in after line one hundred and
ten:
For improvement of the Washita river,
in Louisiana, from the Arkansas line to the
mouth of the said river, $4,000.
After some debate between Mr.. Conger
and MIR. MOrey, the house divided, and the
amendment was agreed to, by ayes, "a;
nays, A. 1t will be seen by this that our
representative, Hon. Frank Morey, is Justly
entitled to the credit of the improvements
at present made in our river.
An attempt to deny justice to political
opponent will neveK' reflect credit on the
man who makes it.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

The last wrinkle of the insurance COM
panies is their refusal to insure females
against accidents on railroads and steam
boats. The-excuse of the companies is that
when an alarm of fire is raised ON railroad
car or steamboat, the ladies are usually
thrown into such a state Of terror that aeei-
dents are almost sure to follow, and that the
losses in the past, under this head, have
been very much greater than the gains.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

The Hartford COurant says: sThere is
no more pressing need for the weary bodies
and the overtasked brains of this eager,
excited generation than rest Some of our
strong men, in all the professions and avo-
cations, fall OUT of the ranks every year,
and are seen no more, for lack of rest
There would not be this lack, and they
need not fall out of the ranks, if they would
take what God in his kindness to the toll
ing and the weary has provided. In the
beginning he gave to the seventh day a
name to mark its design, and its universal
and perpetual adaptation; Sabbath, literally
Rest.n
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A pollceman's logic: 1.You cant stand
there said watchpan to a thin man in a
suit of rusty black, who was endeavoring
TO maintain a favorable position for view
ing late fire; s.you must come down, SIR
ALLOW me to remain, if you please: i am
reporter, and it is necessary that / should
see what is going on" 81 don't care re-
sponded the guardian; IF you want re-
port of it. you'll see it in all the papers to-
MORROW Washington Republican.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

On the first of July, the birthday of
Brigham Young, his wives and children
gave him surprise party. 1t was his
SEVENTEEN birthday, but how many. of his
wives and children participated in the
demonstration is not stated by the Utah
papers.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
This is home news from abroad:

The New Orleans police force was for.
merly composed of gems darmaes, whose of.
fensiye weapon was the sabre. Next came
the "Leatherheads," so called from the
leather hats which they wore. Thew were
armed with short clubs and carried rattles.
Then came General Buffers police. which.
the New Orleans Times says, was excellent.
Then force formed from returned Con-
federate soldiers, which was said to be
very efficient Now the colored element
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Miss -, the reigning belle at Saratoga,
two French maids, hired young lady COM
panion. two pet canaries, pair of ponies
and nobby phaeton, and shabby, sore
eyed poodle.-Ne,c York Maij The French
maids. the hired young lady, the ponies, the
canaries and the poodle are deserving of
sympathy. The one that has swallowed the
chignon must be far from comfortable
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A young.man who visited his sweetheart
on Sunday night, was expostulated with
for drinking whisky, and so much of it; but
found satisfactory explanation in the re-
mark that it was in order to see two angels
instead of one when he looked at her.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

An enthusiastic Yalensian gazed long and
earnestly through telescope at the move
ments of Saturn, and afterward discovered
that he had been watching the receding
headlight of the New York steamboat.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

The New York Express tDemocratic) says:
ments neither law or constitution, and mere
utilities, may do. for. an abstract opinion;
but the answer to the opinion is that the
two amendments are practical facts, and
not words. Negroes do vote in the States
negroes viH vote in the States: and no
party is strong enough to prevent their
voting
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Private letters received at New York
report that Lieutenant General Korsocheff,
Governor General of Siberia, died recently
IN st. Petersburg. He served through all
grades above second lieutenant. and had
been in the Siberian Department nearly
thirty years He was a special favorite of
the late Emperor Nicholas, and was nearly
related to the Romanoff family General
Shclashnikoff succeeds him as Governor
General.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Is lobster wild animal 1t has just
been decided in an English court that he
is, and that in consequence thereof man
can not be convicted of stealing lobster
from another mans lobster pot, for the rea-
sons before mentioned.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

correspondent of the Evansville Jour
nal spreads himself on an account of the
suicide of an old man at. Rockport. He
made one end of rope fast to a beam
twenty feet above the earth, tied the other
end around his neck, climbed up and
took his congo to seek the unqulet shades
which haunt the stygian shore" Excess
slve Curiosity" and WEAKNESS superinduced
by '.buffetings of the cold. ungenerous
world" caused this misguided old man to
''caH into requisition this terrible ,aepe,.-
te'-and his name was Ben Newton. From
all of which we infer that he hanged him.
self in a charlottesville Ledger
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Mr.. Fisher Howe has written book to
prove that the true site of Calvary is on a
hill outside of Jerusalem, near the gate of
Ephraim, on the road to Damascus and he
proves that he possessed very thorough
knowledge of Jerusalem as it is, if not as it
was
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

An immense fur trade is carried on in the
every winter. Henry Barkman, of Spirit
Lake, is probably the largest dealer in fIrs
in that region. During the winter of 1870
he paid out for furs sixty-three thousand
dollars, and his purchases this season
amount to more than forty thousand dol
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Mr.. H. V. Redfeld has been interviewing
a stage driver about Lancaster, Kentucky:
'.They are as clever and hospitable people,
continued the driver, 'sas ever was, but the
town has bad name for fights. It's one of
the sprightliest fighting places in Kentucky
They shoot, stab, bite, knock over. kill and
drag out. At the last August election there
We're nine. men shot in one day. But when
Mace
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

India has ASH miles of railway Last
year there were sixty-nine collisions and
25S cases of running off the track. The
whole number of persons killed was thir-
teen, and sixty three were injured. A buff
falo on the track caused the death of eleven
passengers and the injury of seven.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

: A dividend is the surplus, the result, the
end of a transaction, divided among the
Observation-Disclosures the word di-vide-ends.
An apothecary originally carried his medi-
cine about in jars-he was pot-carrier-
thence the word a-pot-he-carries.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Heaven help the man hoAnagines that
he can dodge enemies by trying to please
everybody If such an individual ever
succeeded, we should be glad of it-not that
one should be going through the world
trying to find beams to knock and thump
his head against, disputing every mans
opinion, fighting and elbowing, and crowd
ing all who differ from him That, again,
is another extreme. Other people have their
opinions; so have you. Don't fall into the
more fer turning your coat every day SO
much the color Of theirs. Wear your own
clothes, in spite of wind and weather.
storm and sunshine 1t costs the irresolute
and vacillating ten times the trouble to
wind and shuttle and twist than honest.
manly Independence to stand it's ground.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Frank Holloway is an Iowa horse-thief,
and being hotly pursued in Wisconsin, Dor
rowed horse of sheriff under the pre-
tence that he was after another individual
of the ilk. The sheriff is waiting for him to
= aflrru l4
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A Haverhill man who lately lost his
pocketbook with ninety dollars In it, has to
console himself with this anonymous note
from the finder: II am poor man, and my
health is poor, and it seems to me that you
lost that money to benefit me. Therefore
shall borrow it, or. most of it. send you
back four dollars and the change. You are
rich and profess to be Christian. / claim
to belong to the same family. If the Lord
blesses me, i will repay you all if l can; if
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A correspondent says of Saratoga /:
Fashionable and white-hatted sharpers
strut about with more prominence than
honest folks, while hayward and wanton
votaries of sin and shame make gorgeous
display. of STYLE, gold and glitter. 5lrf
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A st. Louis iron company contemplates
erecting blast furnace twenty-five feet
interior diameter and one hundred feet
high. 1t is to rest on twelve columns
thirteen feet high. 1t viii be the. largest
in the United States
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13
The Baton Rouge Gazette and Comet says

The Baton Rouge Gazette and Comet says
this of the tooth of mastodon:
Mr.. C. w. AIsworth, living few. miles
above town on the plantation at SCOTS
Bluff, has brought to this Office the tooth of a
Mastodon, that was picked up by his brother
yesterday, near the river side, where the re-
ceding water had left it, and from all APP
pearance it was washed out of the Bluff
from the waves of the river. 1t is great
curiosity and we invite those who have
never seen the like to walk in our sanctum
and take a sight at it, and will serve as a
lesson to show who inhabited this continent
before the food.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

Not long ago A Cochin, a distinguished
Frencaman, said: " We are clever nation
which does not work, and we have been
beaten by nation which works, but is not
clever.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

While California wasp and tarantula
were fighting; toad swallowed both, and
soon after expired in great pain
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

The Egyptians have made one improve
ment in agriculture during the last forty
years-they have learned to swear at their
oxen.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A newspaper correspondent has seen the
house, at Verona, in which Juliet lived, and
the identical broad window at which she
and Romeo met and courted 1t is a high,
narrow building, dark with age and grim,
now used as a common tavern, and over the
door of the court or main entrance is the
hat which was the distinctive emblem in the
armoriaI bearings of the Capulets.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1871-08-13

A writer on school discipline says: "with-
out liberal use of the rod it is impossible
to make boys smart"
The Placer herald., 1871-01-28
Johannes Schmidt's Twins.

In the neighborhood Of - street livcs
Johannes Schmidt, thriving young Shoe
maker. ss
Now, johannes has been married nearly
a year, and was made the happy father Of .
pair Of bouncing twins few days ago, and
it is the story that hangs to those twins that
we are now about to relate. The way We
came to hear it was from his own lip, When
Johannes was celebrating the happy event
in his household by the imbibation Of many
and mighty draughts of beer.
His story was as follows:
"katrina und vas pout' to pc marrit.
Won night, ven vas sot town py her side,
NIT Won arms rount her neck and toder arm
squeeyin' her stomach, We fell to epsakcn
pout the veddin tay, vich vos 80 close a. ever
vOs.
"Shust ven had stole Won good buss
vrom Katrina's lips, vich vas 20 plsmp ash
Won pretzel, and schweet ash te hger il
comes purity leetle gal who vas NO higher
ash dis table, init curls and al dem sort
tngs all over her het. Katrina calf de leetle
gal to her, and pat her on de het, and aays
to me: Johann 3, ven We done get narrit,
vonts Won purity leetlc gal like die. VIII
you gif me one, eh ? aof
"Now, like to look at Won putty leetia
gall but den don't like to pc Dc daddy init
Won, and 20 | says; Nix. You shall have
Won poy. loves poys.'
81 shan't have poy,' says Katrina;I
hates poys'
"Im ID if you shan't have poy; I
won't have gals, said.
"Und Won't have poy, says Katrina;
und den she broke out crying.
81 kissed her, und hugged her, und dried
to make her feel 80 goot ash ever cout; but
she would cry, und say she want gal.
eden gets mat ash der duyvel, und
pushes Katrina over der vloor, und kicks
over der cheer, und plays smash init tings.
But she keeps say che wants gal. r',
''Den | boots on my hat, und says: 've
will get marrit, Katrina, ven you wants
poy; und NIT dat | schlams myself out NIT
der door.
"Doo, dree weeks, und Katrina still wants
de gal und l wants de poy.
"Oh vas so unhap, and she vas 30 uu-
hap, und We both vas unhap as go never vas
in dis world pefore any two beeples. But
vat vas We to do?
cat last, dells Shuge Mcvilliams apout
der droube, und he says: IVY, you id
Dutch fool, Wy ton't you und der gal marry
und have dwins-dwo pabies--a gal und
poy-und take Won apiece, hey?'
"Sure enuff, never dinks O. dat undil
der Shudge says to me, und den I runs rite
off to Katrina, und says: "Katrina, ve
will gots marrit SO tight ash never vas. und
den We will have dwo pabies-der poy und
der gal-und You shall have one und I shall
have todder-und We will got long so nice
togedder, heyY el
"Und she says, "Yah, so We will! und
den We wash marrit und now Katrina has
der dwo pabies, und sure enuf dey ish Won
poy und Won gal, und Katrina's der happiest
woman in der downs.
"Sachman, fill up der glasses agin."
And when we left the saloon, johannes
was filling everyone's stomach with beer.
and ear with the story of the quarrel be-
tween him and Katrina.
The Placer herald., 1871-01-28
TWO GIRLS.

All alone ir the grand old room,
Mid silken curtains and splendid gloom,
girl in beauty sighs
The softened light of the chandeliers,
Missing her diamonds, seeks the tears
That stand in her wlstful eyes.
All alone by the castle walls
Where hardly a ray of sunlight falls,
A girl is crouching in dread.
She dare not beg of the churlish wight
Guarding the potals in livery bright,
Even crust of bread
A gay cavalier comes riding along,
Carelessly humming a humorous song
Will he toss her silver crown?
No. His thoughts are filled with his new loves
face,
AS he hurries past the familiar place,
And canters on to the town.
"Oh, for morsel of food" one groans;
eff he but loved mel" the other moans--
She comes from a race of earis,
The beggar outside is not starving alone;
Father in Heaven, who lowest Thine own
Pity these hungry grlsi
The Placer herald., 1871-01-28
LAW OF NEWSPAPERS.

l. Subscribers who do not give express notice
10 the contrary are considered as wishing to
continue their subscription.
2 If subscribers wish their papers dscontn-
ued, publishers may continue to send them until
all charges are paid.
g. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their
papers from the Office or place to which the are
sent, they are held responsible until they settle
their bills and give due notice to discontinue.
T. If subscribers move to other places without
informing the publisher, and the paper is sent to
the former direction, they are held responsible.
Notice should always be given of the removal.
s. The Courts have decided, that refusing to
take paper from the office, or removing and
leaving it uncalled for, is prma face evidence
Of intentional fraud.