The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1871-12-25
MRS. TUBES CHRISTMAS.

Mr.. Gentlemen The Holidays a.comin
round agin brings so forcible to mind
what happened last Christmas, that
can't help a.tellin Of 1t TO you, or least.
wise To Mr. Judd, which on account Of
his darning shows and other things,
take to be kinder.hearted'n common.
But the rest Of you may be harder'n flint
for ought know, which is neither here
nor there, seem haven't no idea Of who
or how many you be in the coucern,
which hope it amt over numerous on
account of your dividin prophits at the
end of the year.
Well. you must know, we keep the day
reguler in our family, and have so done
all along for some generations, Christ.
mas is to most folks what the sun Is to
the ground. Ii sets 'em to flowerin for
most the whole year. There amt no mis-.
take about 1t, | sometimes conceit II
you'd set pot water a.bOilin right
hard and keep a.sayin, "Merry Christ
mas" over 1t, billed Turkey or plum
pudding would take place in It OF Its own
accord. Well, me and Mr., Tubbs al
ways trim up the settin'rOOm most beau.
tiful with greens on Christmas eve, and
his two grown nieces and my three nefys
which always come from up.COuntry the
day before and stay over, Amt never al
lowed into this room till Christmas
mornin, and the way them children and
my Jabez generally goes on upsetting the
house with their fun and irOliCkin is
amazin; and the way, next mornin, they
do pOunce out from most everywhere at
me and Mr.. Tubbs aud kiss US and wish
US happy returns Is more than | can
think Of this mint without sheddin tears
of Joy. Sheepish as 1t makes us feel to
do 1t, them children always makes us
Mr. Tubbs and mG-hang our stocking
outside our door like they do to their
doors; and such times as we all do have
a film OF them on the sly without ketChin
each other at 1t, and such sCreeChes and
laughin and thRnkin in the mornin when
we look into em, and take out the things
Is most loo much 10 tell.
But on this Christmas | write about,
xabez warnt 10 home. He'd gone down
10 Newerleans In November, ON bisiness
for his pa, and cOuldent get through till
along In February, so we'd have 10 keep
II without him, andi( you knew him you'd
see how 1t aslike dancin without music
to try to keep Christmas without Jabez
But much as II went agin me, was
bound not to disappint the rest, and 80 we
had the neices and neifys down as usual,
and sOt about maxim ready.
There warnt any too little to do nor to
get, you may be sllre, and II ever q woman
was hard drove, | was that week, partic.
ular as l was plannin to get day down
In York to buy turkeys and raisons and
presents and other Observanccs of our
great national holiday. And sure enough |
Il II Warnt the very day alore Christmas
aIOre could stir We'll, sirs, just as | set
my foot down to start and ketCh the noon
stage, along come wagon with big,
long box which II was Amos Tubbs paint
oil on II in black letters and O. .. D. on
one corner. couldn't take no time to
wait, especial as my daughter Jcrushy
come runnin out to tend to II herself, but
who'dever sent II had put what II WIS in
the corner, which II was prOYidential !
saw before laid out money IN vain. II
was Goldfish, and whole one, | reckon.
cd, calcnlatin by the size Of the box. What
ever put any liVln soul up 10 sendin MIR.
Tubbs such Christmas present as that |
didn't know, though held 1t warnt un.
Likely II was some NOvia Scotia Captain
who knew his fancy for billed Gods head
and shoulders which II Is his IavOritc dish.
And how the thing would have to be cat
and II struck me, Christmas or no Christ.
mas, there warnt no use In buyin of tur-
kys and hAvin twenty pound Of fish spoil.
In on our hands, and | was just plannin
what to buy for my dear husbands Christ.
mas with tho superilous money, when |
had a collision with a pedestrian. beg
parding, madam" says the man, at tho
same time pintin ahead, "ls that Amos
Tubbs' house, do you know%
LIDO know II ls," says |. " am Mrs.
Tu6bs. What is your business, sirY
"Ah, madam, thank YOU" says he, u
rushin past. ave writ of attachment
for the gentleman" A tOrit Of attachment
for Mr.. Tubbs 1t seemed as If the
ground was slidn under my ieet-ior
Mr.. Tubbs and lie Is lawful welded
man But the SpiketOwn stage all to
once hove in sight, and made out to
squeeze In, though don't know as I'd
ever got my umbTell and satChel inside II
II hadn't been for Miss Scrimp, which |
keeps the poStolllCe, and just then come
out TO the stage Tor her males.
Mr.. Editors, when think Of what come
In my mind at that moment, l feel all Of
heap. But II did come. Massey, says |
10 myself, seeitall. That skinny, Scrimpy,
mite Of a to0mdn, has been endin Mr.. |
Tubs a Sorit Of dtEacItmentI For min.
nit, hardly sensed where I was. soho r.
says I, boilin To think how BTr. Tubbs
was always q steppin to the post TO see II
his Agricultural was come. "Ohop But
that ended II. For all at once 1t come
over me that o sensibler, better man, nor
kinder father than Tubbs warn't no
where's TO be found, and wasn't agoin 10
lerment no more about 1t till he explain.
ed hisself, which he was bound 10 do as
soon as l got back / put this in my lot.
ter, Mr.. Editor, not to betray family fail.
ins, but just TO say it turned TO be nOthin
at all, and TO warn all women not TO be
to easy upset by figures of law, which
Mr.. Tubbs afterwards explained to me
most satisfactory, especial as the docky.
ment come 10 him by mistake anyhow.
Leastwise was mighty glad l didn't de.
mean myself 10 mention Miss SCrimp,
which II would have give Tubbs some.
thing to chucklc ovar for the refuse Of his
entire life Well 1t was q awful dty
down to YOrk-what with crowdin and