Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-06-08
/ KIT.AND RIsDoM.

Wanted to know-How many square
rods are contained in wiseacre. $500
When is a baby most like cherub?
When it continually doth cry. o
What state is round on both ends
and high in the middle? Ohio. l
There are three things, says a wit,
that l have loved without understand
ing: paintings, music and women.
He that is good will become better,
and he that is bad, worse for virtue,
vice and crime never stop. - -
He who has not learned. the lesson of
resolute self hope has made little pro-
gress toward manhood. 80 80 =
We often omit the good we might
do, in consequence Of thinking about
that which is out Of our power to do.
The Methodist bodies in Canada have
not yet united, though efforts are be-
ing made to bring about that result. =
The Methodists Of New Orleans and
Mobile are planning egreat campmeet-
ing on the coast between two places
The New York teamsters keep very
cool nowadays. There Is a nice Bergh
there which accounts for it. -..-,-,-.e-.--..
A three-eyed cat is q Noank produe-
tlon, and Noank would like to know,
If you please, how is that for eye.-Nei0
HGve'e PdlIddiatB7. - Il5iti5i7i -.'l 81 e.
Why is a reformed inebriats like one,
of the ancient kings of England after a
visit to Normandy ? Because he win
never smile again. = .,-5-~ ,.-..-s ...
An editor was hung in Arizona last
week for stealing chickens
brought tc that sad pass by delinquent
subscribers. 49, -
Here's Webster on a bridge, said
Mrs. Parsington as she handed Ike the
dictionary, study it eonclusiVely and
you viii gain great deal Of influence.
An enthusiastic student of history,
aucient and modern, who is determined
to be well sspostedn in chronology, is
about TO take a journey to the East to
pickup dates. is..5Gli q 81 lI-..l1Iz 81. =
We often censure the conduct Of
otherswhen, under the same circum-
stance, we might not have acted half
SO weH. ~
He presents wretcheJ specimen of
religion who labors more to convert
Christian men to his own sectarian
views than sinners to Christ. .l a.-
Little local noises deaden the loudest
distant ones; so it is that this world
shuts out from the ears of mel as it does
the voice of Almighty God.
There is but one single fact which one
may oppose to all the wit and argument
of infdelity, namely: That no men
ever repented being christian on his
death-bed. ql.J.,s 81 .elsl ,......
For fifteen years, daily almost with
out exception, aStamford, COnn. a man
has sat ON fence near the depot, and
watched every railroadi train as it
passed., ain .sa.,lIa Cd lil ..zyllog- ~.
! 70 appreciate the faIl force of the
rules governing the position of words,
writea mans name wit tsDr." before
and after it, and compare the two read
ings. 1890. .... ...s...., -....
"Pa, is Pennsylvania the father of all
the other states?D ftCertainIy not. nv
child; why do you ask that question?''
" Because, see all the newspapers call
it Pa" .a4as -....l ,-..5.
What we do for ourselves, will soon
be forgotten what we do for Others,
may be the vision 10 cheer the soul
when the eye can no longer behold the
loved ones. s-i = s-'-'-'
To attempt to mortify sin by outwa@d
reformation is altogether as ineOngru-
Gus as If man should lay a plaster
upon his clothes to cure wound in mis-
stomach. -. - Is .-...-
| Observe what directions your thoughts
and feelings most readily take you
when you are alone, and you win then
form a tolerably correct opinion of your
real state. -..-.--.--
Every sin has Satin in it, and robs
the soul Of its beauty. Every sin hath
reason in it. It is an endeavor to carry
away some one or other Of the crown
jewels of heaven. .nusii -. .7.
Sin against light and knowledge is
most exceedingly sinful; but the sum-
NIT Of iniquity IS to take q diabaiical
pleasure in the wickedness Of Others, to
love sin for its own sake. i 9rs,rs II
'My DEAR" asked John, on observ-
ing striped hose on his Only heir, "why
have you made barber's poles of Err
nests legs?" Because he IS q little sha-
ver," was the reply.s-sss
A fellow in Indiana pat one end OF
gun-barrel in the fire and looked down
the muzzle to see whether it was load
ed. A coroner's jury decided that his
suspicious were correct. .--.
A dandy in New York is in a fix.
His pants were made so tight that he
can't get his. boots on. and if he puts his
boots on first ne can't get his pants ON.
This is a case of genuine distress.
d, / have seen persons who seemed un-
fit to grapple with life taken hold of by
sorrow, and inspired with courage
which prepared them to meet and bear
themselves up manfully under all the
exigenees oftrouble to which they
liable. b -.aI -l-t s
Johnny was telling his ma how ne
was going to dress and show Off when
he got to be man. His ma asked -
-'Johnny, what do you expect to do
for a living when you get to be IA man ?
Well, l reckon I'l get married and
board with my wife's pa"
A story is told of an old hunter in
Michigan who when the country was
new got lost in the woods several times
He was told to buy q pocket compass,
which he did, anda friend explained
to him It's use. He s0en got lost and
lay out as usual. When found he was
asked why he did not travel by the
compass. He said ne did not dare to.
He wished to go north, and he tried
hard to make the thing go north but
twas no use~-'twould diddle, diddle,
right around and point southeast ey-
cry time. -eif cez1 ,s5s.a .s..
The Erdmi,.er and cAronscss (Baptist),