St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1871-04-21

BY MARK TWAIN.

"Discardcd Lover.'-"l loved and
still love, the beautiful Edwitha Howard,
and intended to marry her. Yet, during
my temporary absence at Benecia, last
week, alas she married Jones. Is my
happiness to he thus blasted fer life p?
Have no redress -
OF course you have. All the law,
written and unwrittcn, is on your side.
The intention and not the act constitutes
crimc-in other words, constitutes the
deed If you call your bosom friend a
fool, and intend it for an insult, it is IN
Insult; but if you do it playtully, and
meaning no insult, it is not an insult.
If you discharge a pistol accidentally,
and Kill Il man, you can 90 Tree, Tor you
have done no murder; but if you try TO
kill q man, and manitcslly intonl to kill
him, but fail utterly to do ii, the law
still holds that the intention constituted
the crime, and you are guilty of murder.
Ergo, if you had married Edwiiha acct
dcntally ard without really intending TO
do it, you would not actually be married
~ lllS 49, VI maj
could not be complete without the imtcn-
ton. And ergo, in the strict sense Of
the law, since you deliberately intended
to marry Edwitha, and didn't do ii, You
are married to her all the same-becluSr
as | said before, the intention constitutes
the crime 1t is as clear rs day that
Edwitha is your wife, and your redress
lies in taking a club and muilating Jones
with it us much as you can, Any man
has right to protect his own wife from
the advances of other men. But ynu
have another alternative-you were mar
ried to Edwitha first, because of your
deliberate intention, and now you can
prosecute her for bigamy, in subsequent
ly marrying Jones. But there is anoth-
er phase in this complicated case: You
intended to marry Edwitha, and conSe-
quently, according to law, she is your
wife-thcre is no getting around that
but she didn't marry you, and if she new
er intended to marry you, you are not
her husband, Of course Ergo, in mar
rying Jones, she was guilty of bigamy,
DSCduSC Biz was lllC w VI ullOllltl HAL
at the time; which is all very we'll as
far is it gocs-but then, don't you see,
she had no other husband when she mar
ried Jones, and consequently she was not
guilty Of bigamy. Now according to
this view of the ease, Jones married a
spinster, who was widow ut the same
time, and another mans wife at the
same time, and yet who had no husband
and never had one, and never had any
intention of getting married; and, there
fore, of course, never had been married,
and, by the same reasoning, you are a
bachelor, because you have never been
any ones husband and married man.
because you have wife living and to
all intents and purposes widower, be-
cause you have been deprived OF that
wife; and a consummatc ass for going off
to Benicia in the first place, while things
were so mixed. And by this time have
got myself so tangled up in the intricacics
OF this extraordinary case, that | shall
have to give up any further attempt to
advise you'll might get confused and
fail TO make myself understood. | think
| could take up the argument where l
left off, and by following it close awhile,
perhaps l could prove to your satisfac.
ton, either that you never existed at all,
or that you are dead now, and conse-
quently don't need the EaithIcss Edwitha.
l think | could do that, if ii would af-
ford you any comfort.