The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-06-24

PEPPER, SALT AND SPICE.

PEPPER, SALT AND SPICE.
There was considerable Of hurryi.R to and
fro on the morning Of the late storm, but none
more laughingly than that which might have
been witnessed at A. N. that day, by the "early
bird" or any other man, at the south side Of the
court house square. A young merchant who
sleeps in one of the brick building in that quar-
ter, and whose hair was recently moved down
10 within an eight Of an inch of the scalp, was
dreaming that he was in q rosy bower in sweet
converse with lovely damsel who was feeding
him peaches and cream with a spoon, when
suddenly it seemed az if the cars had run off the
track, and were coming straight into his bed.
room. He ran to the window and saw the raging
storm, tearing down the chimneys of the court
house and hurting house tops, brick yards and
other gentle missels through the air. Losing
his presence of mind he seized his hat, boots and
cravat, and clad in this inartistic and airy cos
tune rushed down istairs and out into Main
street The gentle breeze, and more than driz.
cling rain, reminded him of the need Of covering
for his not over plentiful legs So he rushed
back, got his pocket handkerchief and faced the
storm. When he had recovered his presence Of
mind he found that his hair had grown over
half an inch, and had lost its glossy black. 1t
is now handsome tawney gray During the
recent heated spell, especially o'nights, Ottawa
has been transformed into regular bear garden,
we mean bear not beer garden. This may be
considered q bare assertion, but we can prove it,
These bears were harmless brutes, not one of
'em having "bit" anybody 80. The late storm has
flled the cup of our bitterness Our gympsum
weeds are wreck and now no more can we re.
cline at gentle ev.R-tde under their cooling
shade. inhale their delightful aroma, and pass
happy hours OF meditation beneath their fragrant
bowers. Such indeed has been our fate with
this wonderful shrub. When first they came
above ground-rearag their tender heads into
the bright sunli ght-the heat scorched EN-, then
the potato bugs assaied EN-, afterwards the
abominAble Il year old locust bugs gnawed 'em,
and now the storm has Frustrated them.
Twas ever thus in chldhood's hour.
I never loved bird or flower"
But what in some unhappy hour,
The plagued thing is sure to sour.
1 NC ocaicsl thiug YOU ever 'sceu,
The gorgeous, blooming gympsum weed.
Has died-ed dead-it has indeed
IA young man, not long ago, fell mos. con.
sumedly in love. he went out in the moonlight
and lifted up his voice in song. He composed
the following gentle strains, and sent them to
the object OF bis affection:
my dearest, darling twootsv WOO.
There's mono l love we'll as You"
To which the dam-el answered:
you awkerd, wide.mou.h red he'd dun.s,
Jest go and soke yer he'd to wunts."
Since then that angered boy goes out nightly
and cusses the 4ttoon which he regards as the au
thor of all his troubles d. . Some young ladies Of
ward ,, who have grievance. accosted us thusly,
one morning lately: "Say, Beemus, We want
you 70 say, in your pepper, salt and spice that
'x9Sugar Bob B. thinks he's smart, but he isn't,
and that though some OF the girls down here are
pretty tail, are not gira.Fs," and We have said
il. 1t will be seen from the above that perfect
happiness is confined to no exclusive nook or cor.
ner OF this strictly regular city 80. "Beemus''
thanks his friends at Seneca for an invitation to
deliver an Grafton on the 4th Of July, and the
"Cali.humpians" Of Aurora for similar compl.
Inent but "Beemus' cannot be divided. limited
he stands, divided he falls" and sometimes he
falls anyhow. He thinks he is not wide enough
to spread himself oyer both Of these places at the
same tme-he would mako rather thin spread.
At the Baptist church sociAbe they had .
cake surmounted by Beemus' dog. We have
frequently admonished that ssgscious but way.
ward animal to keep away from sociables and
such places, but the wretched brute went off and
got himself into trouble ust as We expected.
Circuit Court.