Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1871-02-16
Miseellat1eous.
Advice to Parents.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Having reflected deeply for half an
hour upon the subject of domestic disci-
plin, | feel like sparinga q few suggestions
relative to the best method of bringing up
children. Being bachelor without chill
dren, my suggestions are as likely to be
disinterested rs if | had never seen
child.
According to my observation, the most
difficult time to bring up children is in
the morning. You can sometimes,
though seldom, bring them up in the
morning by yelling at them; but the
effectiveness Of this process diminishes
with its repetition. even when not entirely
neutralized by the childrens trick of
stopping their ears with the bed clothes.
The only prompt, effective, and absolute
ly reliable method is to bring then. up by
the hair. lfyour child has good healthy
scalp, without any tendency to prema-
ture badness, this method will work
with gratifying efficiency. Try it about
once week, and you will be surprised to
observe how its influence will extend
through the six days. inspiring your
child with the liveliest possible interest
in the resplendent pageantry of sunrise.
TO bring up darling child by the hair
requires the exercise of some energy
tfiti llIliHcSS, Dut HO hutCliOHdtc
will hesitate at any little sacrifice of this
kind for the welfare of his offspring
Nothing can be more fatal to your disci-
plne than to allow your children to con-
tradict you. fyou happen to be betrayed
into any misstatement or exaggeration in
their presence, don't permit them to cor
rect YOU. Right or wrong. you must OBJ
stinately insist on your infallibility, and
promptly suppress every symptom of peur-
lie skepticism with force it need be. The
moment you permit them to doubt your
unerring wisdom, you will begin to for
felt their respect and pander to their con-
ceit. There can be no sadder spectacle
than parent surrounded by olive branches
who think they know more than he does.
l vividly remember how my father, who
was one of the most rigid and successful
disciplinarians, quelled the aspiring egot-
ism that prompted me to correct q careless
remark (when he was reckoning aproblem
in shillings) that five times twelve was
was sixty-two and half. 49," said he
climbing over his spectacles and survey
ing me grimly, "Ye think we know more'n
yer father hey? Come ere to me-" His
invitation was too pressing to be declined,
and for a few excruciating moments l re-
posed in bitter humiliation across his left
knee, with my neck in the embrace of his
left arm
didn't see him demonstrate his meth
ematical accuracy with the palm of his
right hand on the largest patch of my
trowsers, but felt that the old man was
right; and when, after completely eradi-
eating my faith in the multiplication table,
he asked me how much five times twelve
was | insisted with tears in my eyes that
it was sixty-two and half. That's
right" said he, 'I'll larn We to respect
yer father, if have to thrash We twelve
times day. Now go'n water them
hosses, n be lively, too" The old gen.
tleman didn't permit my respect for him
to wane much until the infiammatory
rheumatism disabled him; and even then
he continued to inspire me with awe un-
til / was thoroughly convinced that his
disability was permanent.
Unquestioning obedience is the crown
ing grace of childhood. When you tell
your child to do anything, and he stops to
inquire why, it is advisable to kindly but
firmly fetch him rap across the ear, and
inform him ''that's why" He will soon
get in the way of starting, with charming
alacrity, at the word of command
One of the most inveterate and annoy
ing traits of children is inquisitiveness. If
you are inconsiderate enough to attempt
to crafty their omniverous curiosity you
may rs well prepare to abdicate. for you
will be .nonplused by their questions
dozen times Il day, and in a week your
sagacity will be hopelessly compromised.
An average child is magazine of I'M
answerable and disconcerting conun-
drums. You can't expect children to
have much reverence for parent whose
| ignorance they can expose twice out of
three times trying. 1t is well enough to
answer an easy question now and then,
just to convince them that you can when
they come to you with a poser, tell them.
"Oh, you never mind.." or "shut up " and
then they will grow up independent and
self-reliant and restrained, only by vener-
alton, from splitting your head open--to
find out how it holds so much information
without letting some out.
1t would be dif1icult-very difficult-to
| estimate the beneficial effect that would
he entailed upon their children if parents
generally would adopt the method here
vaguely indicated.
II III