Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-01-13
CURRENT ITEMS.

newsboys Christmas dinner
WHY is an infant like diamond? Be
cause it is dear little thing.
ENDow your children in the Mutua
Life Insurance Company, of Chicago
u A GOOD popularity of shoemakers is
that they hold on to the last
Why is the world like pianoS Becaus
1t Is full of sharps and flats.
THERE are nearly 1000 insane person
and over 800 idiots in jails in Ohio.
IT has become question as to whethe
a phrenologist can tell what barrel con
tains by examining its head.
THE assets of the Washington Lif
are of the most solid character-Casll
Government Securities, Real Estate Sc
curities.
SOME author says that one of the uses o
adversely is to bring us out That's true
particularly at the knees and elbows.
A VETERAN shopkeeper says that al
though his clerks are very talkative during
the day, they are always ready to shut W
at night. -
MR.. HENRY BERGH, President of thu
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty tC
Animals, protests against the practice o.
clipping or singing horses in the winter.
A WOMAN in Terre Haute, Ind, CLUES
her husbands eyelids together when he
comes home drunk, and, when he promises
better things, she soaks them in warm
water and restores his vision.
IT cost the city of Boston for each bath
taken during the last season at the public
bath houses, including all the expenses for
constructing the houses, superintendent
ETC., only one cent and five mills.
A man who had been Governor OF
Maine accommodated" stranger on the
cars with $3.50 the other day, "until he
could get check for $4,000 cashed." That
Ex-Governor has lost his faith in human
nature.
| A GENTLEMAN purchased quantity OF
| supposed milk at a Boston restaurant q
few days ago, and, few hours afterward,
found his purchase had settled, the top
being clear water and the bottom a poor
quality of flour
THE United States Circuit Court, in New
York city, has prosecuted 364 suits for PEN
| alties and forfeitures during the last year,
and recovered $194, 100, most of which
has been collected; 772 suits are now
pending.
GATHER" THURsToN, of Newport, r.
l., aged about 80, was locked out of doors
the other evening, by mistake on the part
of his better half, and, not being able to
raise the inmates of his home, procured a
ladder and climbed into a second-story
window.
AN agent, soliciting subscribers for a
book, showed the prospectus to man
who, after reading, Gone dollar in boards,
and one dollar and twenty. five cents in
Sheep" declined subscribing, as he might
not have boards or sheep on hand when
called upon for payment
A MAN living in Bristol, on the Virginia
border, after indulging in stimulants the
other day, kicked one of his acquaintances
across the State line into Tennessee. For
| this little unlawful diversion he was first
arrested and fined in Goodson, Tenn, and
on his return home was arrested and fined
in Bristol
ONE of the solid men of Boston," who
for twenty-five years has furnished an even
ing paper with weather reports, ETC., is a
grandson of Robert T. Paine, signer of
the Declaration of Independence. He has
so retentive memory that he can tell you
the peculiaIities of the weather upon al
most any day. during the past forty-five
ears.
A NEW YORK clothing house having
been robbed, in short time, of $4,000
worth of goods, had its employees exam
ined by detectives the other evening as
they were quitting work, and on the per-
sons of eight, out of eighteen cutters,
stolen property was found.
A GENTLEMAN, whose custom it was to
entertain very often a circle of friends, OBJ
served that one of them was in the habit of
eating something before grace was asked,
and determined to cure him. Upon the
repetition of the offence, he said: For
what we are about to receive, and for what
James Taylor has already received, the
Lord make us truly thankful"
THE other day one of the squirrels on
the Common, which had been in the habit
of helping himself to peanut now and
then from a fruit stand near the West
street gate, found the woman who tends
the stand had covered her peanuts with a
cloth. So he seized peach and made off
with it. The woman gave chase, and the
squirrel, after drawing her some distance
from the stand, dropped the peach, started
back on the double quick, seized nut be-
fore she could get back, and made off with
it, much to the amusement of the by stand
ers.-Our Dumb AnimdlS.
A DIGNIFIED drunkard dwells at Bel
lows Falls, VT He is an old Indian,
known as OR John" and would be smart,
save for his love of liquor. AS he was
tacking along the sidewalk, he made
misstep, plunged into an opening and
stuck there, with nothing but his feet visi-
BILE above the brick. A person who saw
him fall ran to his aid and pulled him out.
AS soon as the doctor" was on his feet,
he braced himself up against a hitching-
post, and said "G'long nOwi Can't ye
mind yer business? What have / done
that We should abuse me this wayS" The
individual explained by saying that he
wished to help the doctor out of trouble.
Wereat John replied; "'Spect you think
that's mighty big talk Next time l stoop
down to pick up my hat out o that hole,
want ye just to keep yer hands OIL, that's
ALL"
AMONG the strangest of rare laces is a
veil given by Nicholas, Emperor of Rus
sia, to Mrs. Thos ii. Seymour, of Connec
ticut. 1t is very large, of.exquisite design,
and so fragile so ethereal in texture, that,
when shaken out and cast upon the air, it
floats like thistle down, and it is many
minutes before it will settle in close
room, and then whispered invitation will
start it on its aerial travels again.
THE ending syllable "ough, which is
such a terror to foreigners, is shown in its
several pronunciations in the following
lines:
Wife, make me some dumplings OF dough,
They're better than meat for my cough,
Pray let them be boiled till hot through,
But not till they're heavy or tough.
Now must be OFF to my piOugh,
And the boys (when they've had enough
Must keep the aies OFF with bONgh,
While the old mare drinks at the trough.
THE late Professor Silliman, of Yale
College, received from company speci-
men of coal to examine, and the Professor
said he would make test and determine
its quality. The next day the owners OF
the grand discovery waited on him again
eager to hear the verdict which was tc
make OF mar their fortunes. The Professor
said, with that impressive solemnity which
always marked his manners Gentlemen,
understand you to say that this property il
situated upon'a hilltop, consequently the
situation is prominent 1t is valuable
immensely valuable--though as a Goa