Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-03-17
CURRENT ITEMS.

WOIks
JOSH BILLINGS says "It strains mans
philosophy the wust kind to .laff when he
gets beat"
THE Charter of the Washington Life Sc.
cures all the profits to the insured. More
than this cannot be done.
A DRUNKEN man was recently drowned
In gutter In Syracuse The water was
but six inches deep, and he was frozen
fast ..Il
THE-assets of the Mutual Life Of Chi
cago, are of the most solid character
cash, government securities, real estate Sc
curities.
THE prudent President of q Boston
bank has earned paragraphic immortality
by carefully turning up the bottom of his
vest while at his desk, to keep it from
wearing out.
IT is said that Mr.. Greeley is so addict
ed to agriculture that whenever he is
asked question he invariably says "hay"
before he answers to any great extent
"a MAN who'd maliciously set fire to q
barn." said good old Elder Poyson, {" and
burn up stable full of horses and COWS,
ought to be kicked to death by iackass,
and I'd like to be the one to do 1t
AN ambitious citizen of Rome, Ga, en-
deavored to eat three quarts of oysters re-
| Gently. A local paper says: 1t was a
way he had of signing an engagement to
slumber in the valley"
Have you Blasted Hopesg'" asked a
lady of green librarian, whose face was
much swollen by a toothache. "No,
ma'am," he replied, but have blasted
toothache."
A NEW signal light for railway trains
has been invented. 1t consists of lantern
which revolves when the train is in motion,
displaying a red light if going forward,
and green light if backing
A NoRRIDGEwocK (Me.) deacon recent
| ly coughed up head of herds grass
which had lain on his lungs for over thir.
ty-six years. 1t still retained its original
shape, but had grown as hard as a stone.
THE London Saturday Regieu antici-
pates legislation on childrens parties, on
the ground that "if it is injurious to the
health of boy to send him up a chimney,
it is obviously equally so to expose him
to the consequences of late hours and hot
rooms"
A SMALL boy in New York arranged q
bridge of bricks at a muddy crossing, and
then, after passengers had availed them.
selves of the dry crossing, civilly request.
ed "a penny for his walk" which was al
most invariably given him. That boy may
yet own a railway.
A LITTLE negro boy at the South ha,
just been equipped with a new suit o
clothes-the first he ever had on in hi,
life. Next morning he appeared with one
leg of his trowsers ripped up from shoe tC
waistband. On being asked how it hap
pened he answered please, ma'am,
wanted to hear it fop."
THE following certificate was lately pre-
sented to the ST. Louis Historical Society
earthly that | gave permission to Benja
min Gardner to satel on a pies of vacan
land cold Little Purrary, on the Missury
some time in December, 1902. GiveI
under my hand this 23d Day of Febury
1906. Daniel Boone"
A MAN living in Columbia, Pa, ard own
ing the house he lives in, lately refused
to bury his father, who died suddenly
but turned the body over to the Corone
to be buried as pauper, signing his nam,
to paper which read: 81 hereby refus,
to take charge of the corpse of my fathe
or pay for its burial"
SOME little girls in Salem, Mass, hel,
fair on Washington's birthday for tlf
benefit of one of the pupils in their Sun
: day School, sick little girl, daughter of
dead soldier. They obtained $l20, and i
is uncertain which was the happiest, the,
, who gave or she who received the amount
JOHN CAMP and his wife, who lived il
Grant County, Wisconsin, determined (,
emigrate, and, having no conveyance, sc
out for Sioux City on foot. They lef
Grant County on the first day of Feb
ruary, and reached Sioux City on the even
ing of February 25, having walked 45
miles, and suffered greatly from WEAKNESS
cold and hunger.
THE Bible of the Phillips family, buriet
with Mrs. Phillips at North Easton, Mass
was lately taken from her grave to settle
by its genealogical record, the question O
heirship to large deposit made by a MAJ
named Phillips in New York bank NOR
than sixty years ago. The letters were 81
far erased, however, as to be illegible
and the book was returned to its dust
THE Warsaw NeU Yorker tells a littl
story at its own expense. Recently it ad
} vertised for copy of its own issue of Jul,
z, to complete file, and an appreciativ
J lady who had carefully preserved he
papers, reminded the publisher that h
had patriotic or lazy spasm that week
and skipped one issue because of the At
of July, circumstance which had entirel,
escaped his memory.
"TvE been thinking" said Littl
Froby, "about this here woman suffrag
business. S'posing," said he, "that-a-
now-Olive Logan, fr instance, should b
made President of this great and gloriou
, country, bequeathed to us by noble sires
and all that, she'd be President Logan
, wouldn't she?" We bowed "Well, now
s'posing she was to marry, say, man b
, the name Of-of-Perkins, f'r instance
, would she be President Logan or Presi
dent Perkins?'
REV. ]. II. K. was, several years since
pastor of Methodist Episcopal Churcl
in Western New York. During his SCI
mon, on a hot summers Sunday morning
Brother Austen, one of the official mem
bers of the church, fell fast asleep. MI
. X. suddenly paused and called out
Brother Austen, will you please open tn
window there a little? Physicians sag /
is Uery UHhedlthy TO sleep in close room
. The brother was awakened, and complied
THE fortune bequeathed by Mr.. Brassey
the railway builder, is, probably, tn
, London Observer says, the largest whicl
: ever passed the Court of Probate in Lon
don-for the very few estates which ey
, NSOh MS III NeAllO arc usually lIduSIbTIGl
by settlement. This fortune is believed +
exceed seven millions sterling, the person
: atty alone having been sworn under ST
and half millions. With the possibl
exception of the Rothschild family, thi
was the largest amount of money ever aC
cumulated by one man in Europe by in
dustry and enterprise.
, A MILKMAN, in Bangor, Maine, boast
, of his horse and dog. He procures part c
f his milk about half mile from his house
and every evening" he says, he harnesse
his horse into the milk wagon, puts in tn
cans, and throws the reins over the dashel
His large Newfoundland dog then gravel
/. steps in, and the horse, under the directio
{ of the canine driver alone, proceeds to tn
} place where the milk is procured, an
! stops. The dog announces their arriva
{ the cans are filled, the dog resumes hi
I seat in the vehicle, and the horse CAREFUL
/ turns and trots home.
g THE gentlemen mentioned in the fo
r lowing anecdote might have served as a