Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-06-23

A Wisconsin boy wanted some fun with a cslf
in pasture. and he had it. He tied rope
around the calfs neck, and then around his
own waist, and then the fun began. The rope
was removed from the boys waist before the
funeral took place.
A F&ligonisn, who found small anakc in ?
cup of water, objects to ''hayiug an animal
making trotIing PARK Of his stomach and spin
ming round at 2.40 rate even for minute.''
The advent of circus demoralized the stu
dents in the University of Michigan, and the
/ faculty have suspended forty two sophomores and
fourteen guileless freshmen who absented them
selves from recitation that they might witness
/ the feats Of the arena.
The Vicksburg girl of the period being called
| upon for some last - words" promptly remark
| ed; Bury me in a Pompaiour waist, cut
| bias
/ Two unknown women placed flowers on Rul-
lofts grave, in Binghsmpton, on the morning Of
Decoration Day. The act gave offense to some
/ persons snd the flowers were removed.
Frederick the Great was very fond Of dispu
tations 4; but as he generally terminated the dis
eussion by collsring his antagonist and kicking
his shins, few Of his guests we're disposed to en-
ter the arena with him.
'' John Rogers inc children end one a. 20
breast,
We're but nine as / make it-' said Harry,
" There were ten, as figure it up" said his guest
- Or there would not have ceen one 10 carry %
Why is the horse the most curious feeder in
world? Because he eats best when be hss not 4
bit in his mouth.
An auctioneer, at a sale At New Haven. on
Saturday evening produced a statue.;e ~ Is The
frppk .vF No
how much am offered for this beautiful Nalou-
NAP Applause followed.
a newly married man complains Of the high
price Of " ducks" lie rays his wife recently
paid for three Of them,-a duck Of = bonnet,
duck Of a dress and duck of parasol He
thinks such - dealings in poultry will ruin
him"
" George" asked the teacher Of Sunday
school class, % who above all others shall you
first wish to see when you get to heaven g'
With a face Frightening up with anticipation,
the little fellow shouted - Gerliah 80
Two boot-blacks we're passing up Chatham
street, when one sccOsted the other with Sc I say
Jack, I Is you be ashamed o. myself, picking
up old secondhand chaws tesbacker % '' Tend
to your own business retorted Jack. 81
guess this is good enough to learn On.
tendent announced the title Of a song ss - Rid
ing the Elephant Home. When the audience
found that it was - Write me a Letter from
Home lie thought it prulen, TO disappear
\ village peiagogue, in despair with a stupid
boy, pointed 10 the letter 4, and asked him if
he knew it.
'' Yes, sir, replied the boy
" Well, what is it 7''
81 know her by sight, but can't remember
her name.
The Ttusyille J5Ura1i ssys The bay
window fever. the mansarl roof relapse and
the lightning rod cramp have eseh attacked our
citizens, snl nov that they hsve been brought
under subsection, there appelrs another epiiem-
ic in the shape Of the striped awni0e collie. It
broke ont on Spring and Diamond streets yes
terisy, sn1 will spreai TO every blsiness-h0use
in town If rigid sanitary conditions are not
compiled with
Dels Roberts, a Kentucky school teacher, -
years Old, recently hung herself on account of
unrequitel love for one of her pupils, 10y l3
years Old Jus, before tie act she ca'ei upon
the object Of her passion and ssii Neil sou
viii never see me again. When you grow 20 be
8 man aud marry, tell your wife shout the wo-
man old enough to he your mother who liel ON
your account
A school teacher spelled on: the word
i grace" sul asked 4 sch0ar 90 pronounce ]
{. Tie gave it up, when the teacher. 90 refresh
his memory. asked him. what did your
father say this morning before breskfast 7" The .
boy thought minute ant finally saii " Pa said
d-n these eggs, they re rotten .'
a New Orleans correspondent who saw Cree
ley, says hs suit consisted principally Of
sharp, peakei-isl coat, which covered him Up /