The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-10-05
From the Congregstionalist.l
The Monkeys indignation Meeting
BY MEs. MARY SPRING WALKER, HARTFORD.

lEToul Anc cSOnSreeSsiOhAllSIl
The Monkeys indignation Meeting
BY MES. MARY SPRING WALKER, HARTFORD.
| The show was over, the crowd had gone,
| The white tent cleaned in the sett ing sum-
| For the jam, and heat, and horrible din.
There was silence. and GOODNESS, and peace within.
Each wretched beast, who all the day long,
Mocked and started at, and jeered, by the throng,
| Poked at by parasols stirred with a stick,
| Weary and sore, dsgusted and sick.
| Was only too glad in his corner to creep,
And lose for awhile, all his sorrows In sleep.
| Only a deep sound now and then,
| Came from the African lions den.
| For the noble beast had forgotten his pain,
And in dreams WAS treadng the jungle again.
| The bars of his cage rose straight and high,
! In lofty palm trees against the sky,
| And the narrow space of prison floor,
| stretched to the length of his native shore.
| King oft forest, free and brave.
| One hour he wandered-then woke aslavs.
| In the monkeys cage q meeting was called;
| There were ofrlcers chosen. and duly installed.
| An ancient baboon having taken the chair,
| Stated the object that brought them there.
| Ny children" he said, in this aged breast
Love for my kind has long found rest.
| To keep our honor and good name bright,
| Has been my labor and chief delight.
Mine is no narrow and selfish aim,
Monkeys love of every name;
| In the baboon, chimpanzee, and ape, Isee
Fair ohshoots from one family tree.
| Smooth or hairy, great small,
Long tailed, or short tailed, love them all.
And ly feel 8 disgrace and shame,
Offered, oh monkeys, to your good name,
For one fthe two-legged tribe called men,
| "a fellow with plausible tongue and pen)
Is trying to prove; with bluser and fuss
That he, and his race, descended from us.
Think oft, monkeys! The ill-mannered throng
Awkward in gait, and silly of tongue,
At so much head, strutting round at our show
tWhat precious small heads the top Of them gro
Coming say here to cape and to stare
Our beautiful forms with their own to compare
Then Fastening home, their ancestry to trace
And father on Us the degenerate race.
Were the theory true, it's the monkey "descends"
Alas what a fall would be there, my friends.
Oh say, ye balloons, shall we tamely sit down
Or hurl back this insult with righteous scorn?
This meeting is called to consider the question,
Please give it, dear Children your earnes. attention
An angry chatter their emotion expressed,
The feeling was deep, though plainly suppressed,
And the monkey next called on the stand to take,
Was too much excited his speet h to make,
Till he turned upside down, and hung by his tall
And turned three fipfaps over the rail-
Then rising refreshed, looked about him and said:
Ny injured fellow monkeys,
hav'nt words 10 tell
The grief and indignation
That in this bosom swell.
What have we DONE my brethren,
To merit the disgrace
0fpeopling all creation
With this apostate race:
Why, mankind's daily follies
Are enough to make one rave.
Did You ever a monkey
So like tool behave?
Did you ever catch a monkey
Coloring his hair.
DO we stick stove pipes our heads,
Tight boots, and chokers wear?
DO we buy tickets to n show,
The elephant to see,
Aud strut about. and make remarks
On better folks than nwee
DrtuA rush oi', y.iiu,n.,
A vile weed chew and suuffs
SANDER our neighbors, sell our votes
Or ballot boxes stutf9
Do monkeys go on benders,''
Orsue for divorce?
Did you ever meet u monkey
Forever talking "horse9'
DO monkeys run for Congress,
Or to lawyers go?
Lat pork, cheat the printer
Cheering and cries of-No)
Then since to APE their follies,
No well bred ape inciines.
And all our faults i'm contrast,
Seem harmless monkey shines -
WHATEVER their beginning,
'Tis plain enough to see,
The key to all their nonsense
Is found not in monkey"
The speaker sat down mid tremendous applause,
Howling and screechng and clapptng of paws
Which was only succeeded by silence when,
The chairman declared they were acting like MEN.
AT this stinging rebuke, every monkey was found
His tail twixt his legs and his eyes the ground
And was ready TO listen subdued and meek,
When the poet-orator rose to speak.
" Breathes there ape with soul so dead
Whp never TO himself hath said
lam a monkey bred and born:
Whose soul would fail to burn with ire,
His veins wild with liquid fire,
AT insult on his birthright throwno'
/" Yes, there such; you'll find them where
Shrill dscord fills the tortured air,
! In some vile organ grinders van.
sunk by companionship so low,
Watching them both you shall know,
Which is the monkey, which the man.
" But we formed of other mold,
oh say my friends shall it be told
| Manhood from monkeyho"d comes down"
We hate the dreadful thought, but most
! We hate the man who makes his boast
| Ofmonkey blood mixed with his own.
| "Ah could we the bohi miscreant chase
Back to ancient dwelling place,
| Swift retribution would we plan:
From u tall tree we'd drop him down,
| And every monkey looking on,
| should study The Descent of Man."
There others to speak, but the hour was late,
| So the president and closed the debate.
With clearness and brevity summed up the case.
| Scattered Darwin's theory far into space
| And proved It a humbug, little below
! The +" Cardiff Giant" and BaInums SHOW"
| And if man, he said, would a cousining go,
There beasts Of the field. and birds Of the air.
He welcome to look for his grandfather there.
! The speaker believed no philosophers pen
| Was needed, to trace the beginning of men.
| In !" a hairy creature. with pointed ears"
| Mans progenitor plainly appears.
| And Darwin has only to leave the monkey,
To easily prove his descent from the the donkey.
THE DISGUISED WITNESS.