Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-03-09
BreYities and Leyities.

| .
~ A sale of roady-made cofhns at auction
took place at Lincoln, Nebraska, recently. a
black walnut article, withsilyer trimming, brough!
s25. the purchaser being q man whose wife was
very sick.
gr man stopping his paper wrote to the
editor: think folks ottent to spend their mum
| nv for payper, mi daddy diddent, and everybody
sed he was the intellgentest man in the country,
and had the smartest family of boiz that ever
dugged tatus"
1g The New York Democrat discredits the
theory that tho employment of female telegraph
onerntors will tend to lessen the amount Of profan
ity that finds its way over the wires, anu ad-
yances the opinion that whep women can Venll-
late their feelings by wiggling their fingers, they'll
swear as much Us men.
nas- Tho. most agreeable Of companions is a
simple, frank man, without any high prctensions
of IN oppressive greatncss,-who loves hie, ana
understands the use OF it; obliging alike at all
hours: above all, of golden temper, and stead
fast US IN anchor. For such u one, we gladly ex-
chang the greatest genius, the most. brilliant
wit, the profoundest thinker,
nss- A Washington letter of Saturday says {:
q For the first time since the institution was or
canizcd, Republican Congressman from the West
camc out with their.yoice andyoics in the Hoaae
Yesterday, and denounced the greedy clamor CT
the Freodmcn's Bureau fYr more money. one
member com nented 'on the reluctance with which
the officers of that institution let up thero hold on
the public crib, and spoke pretty forcibly on the
way the bounty appropriations of Congress for
colored syldiers were made away wish. The re-
suit vas, that the House reduced the appropria-
tions of this bureau just oao hundred thousand
dollars"
zrsy- The average cost Of Congrcssman's iu-
neral Is S 500. We don't know what the cost
of burying President would be, but the people
of the United States would chesrfully make al
experiment if Grant would consent to immulate
himself to please Tie people. They wouldn't
srumble at the expense either.
1s- Life is book Of which we have but one
clifton. Lei each days action, as they add their
pages to the indestructbe volume, he such us
we she'll be willing to have un assembled world to
read.
Ms- A dog missing for twelve days was lately
found at the bottom of a 10 foot we'll in Michi.
gan. The owner thought something was the
matter with the water, and, sent b man down
to clean the we'll. The dog is recovering.
~ Nothing costs less. andnothing purchases
as much, as kind, respectful, courteous and
agreeable treatment Of others.
MS> When an Arab women intends marrying
again after the death of her husband, shc goes
the night before the ceremony to pay visit to his
grave There she kneels and prayS him not to be
olIendcd-not to be jealous. As, however, she
feels hc will be offended or jealous, the widow
brings donkey laden with two goats' skins filled
with water The prayer ended, she proceeds to
pour water upon the grave, to keep the husband
cool under tho irritating circumstances about to
take place, and, having well saturated him, she
then departs.
n.y- An old man died in Boston recently, and
when on his death bed hia friends asked him IL
he didn't feel as though he was going 10 Heaven.
He said he was troubled with doubts, as be had
ALWAYS been an Abolitionist, and had invriab!y
voted the Radical ticket. Poor old man.
NO. A nice young man pat Il sheet round him
to scare n Dutchman. The Teutonic gentleman
SAYS: L shust jumped out from de corner and
vim der COST all dc time. 1 would vip him if he
was Who'll graveyard" Some one asked the
voupr msn what allied his LACK cyc, and he
said bo had received bad Iews from Germany.
nsy- A man about SO years old, who repre-
s,nts himself as son of Lord Byron, and who
claims to have been nm officer in The United States
army. has been travelling in Belgium as tho agen
4 of pnscnt washing machine. He must be very
practical scion of poetic sire.
ma- Why is the earth like slack board? Be
cause the children Of man multiply upon the fact
Of it.
msy- A Providence paper exclaims, with char
actcristc grace, ga year ago to-day WAS just sucf
another day as yesterday was-only more So
| Thi1, 1,rcMlnuS US VI luo oio iluJ "So uHoctou III
| attention of her husband to pair of twins, re
marking as she did so, I" How much those twt
children do look alike, especially the one thi
way" ....-.
The Augusta ConstifntiOnaliH says Foreign
srs wishing to remit their friends on the othe
.;do of the water can got drafts in my amount
a. the Merchants and Planters National Bank
This Bank cannot be too highly commended 70
,,s sn;rit of accommodation it eyinces to serv
the public.
sy- An Indiana girl when asleep recites Greek
but whom awake is utterly ignorant of that Ian
rrooo This is an Indiana mode of saying sh
snores.
~. Mr.. Walt Whitman is defined by Mr.. al
cannon Charles swinburne as strong winge'
sonl with prophetic lips, hot with the blood
Of song" Mr.. Whitman Will bp excused if b
1 desires to 90 out and kill himself
nss- ood resolutions are like ladies who fain
n =, Lecture room--they should be. carried out.
ns- Twenty-Five million dollars is the sum Sc
/. NV the calculating correspondents for Great Bri
tain to pay into Uncle Sans capacious pocket
for damages done by the Alabama.