The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1871-10-27
AMlDsll low: LETTER
A French Of Promise Casc...The
Ruptures of Cupid.

greater nart or tnc iosch"""' 49,
evidence it appears that the parties oot"
live In or near Onondaga; tnat '1arrls
h,J bccn n ~frcoucnt visitor for about
two wears and a halfat the house OF the
n,aintifr- "A widow woman nearly thtrt.
,rars Of arc. with three children. II
seems TO have been the opinion OF the
friends OF The plaintiff land no doubt
She thought hcrsclfl. that Harris would
marry her; but he (lIarris). from some
unaccountahle cause. n few months ago.
suddenly discovered that he loved an.
other Young lady better, and verified
this beliefs short time since ny marry
ing that other laly. Hence this action
was brought by the plaintiff 10 recover
damages. to apply as a salve to her
wounded affections. The following ten
der cp;stlc. sent by the loving swain,
will interest our readers. and we recon-
mend ii as a model love letter:
"My DEAR Mrs. M.-Evcry time
think Of you my heart ilops up and
down like churn dasher. Sensations
Of unutterable Joy capcr over 1t ike
voung goats on a stable roof. and thrii'
through II like Spanish needles through
~ pair Of tow linen trowscrs. AS Cos.
lin swimmcih with delight in a mud
puddle. so swim | in n sea Of glory. VI
sions of ~ccstaiic rapture, thicker than
the hairs of a backing brush. and bright
cr thin the hines OF a humming blrds
pinioiis. vi.i. me in my slnmbcrs, ana
borne on their invisible wings, your
image stands before lpc, and reach OUT
To grasp it. like n pointer swapping At
blue bottle-hy. When | first beheld
our angelic PROJECTIONS was bcwil-
lc;cl. and nv brain whirled around
like a bumblc-bcc undcra glass tumbler.
NV ewes stood open like cellar doors in
II country town. and | lifted up my cars
IL catch the silvery accents OF yonrl
voice. My tongue refused to wag, and
i'm silent alteration l drank in the sweet
infection of love rs a thirsty man swal-
lowe,h n tumblcr of hot whisky punch.
'..Since the light Of Your face fell upon
nv life. l sometimes feel as i'll could
lit myself up by my boot straps to the
TOP Of the church steeplc. and pull the
hcil-ropc for singing school. Day and
night YOU are i'm my thoughts. When
Aurora. blushing like a bride, rises from
her safron-colorcd couch; when the
iay-bird pipes his tuncful lay in the ap-
plc-trcc by the spring-hOusc ; when the
chanticlcer's shrill clarion heialds the
coming morn !: when the awakening pig
arises from his bed and grunteth, and
gocth for his morniny's developments;
when the drowsy beetle wheels to
droning flight ut the snltry noon.tidc
and when the lowing herds come home I
ut milking time. | think of thee and :
like n piece of gum elastic, my heart
seems stretched clear across my bosom. I
Your hair is like the n,anc of q sOrrcl !
horse powdered with gold and the
pins skewcred through your wa {
fcr fall fill me with unbonnded awe. '
Your forched IS smoother than the ell
OF an old coat. Your eyes arc glO-
,ious to behold. In their liquid depths
I see ~lcgions Of little cupids bathing,
like n cohort of ants i'm an old army
When their fire hit upon my =
manly breast il penetrated my whole I
anatomy. as a load Of birdshot through
n rotten apple. Your nose is from a !
chunck of Partisan marble, and your
mouth is puckered with sweetness. Nee
tar fingers on your lips. like honey on a
bears paw and myriads Of unfedged
kisses are there. ready to fly out aud
light somewhere, like blue birds ont of
their parents nest. Your laugh rings
in my ears like the wind-harp's strain,
or the bleat Of a stray lamb OH a bleak
hill side. The dimplcs on your cheeks
are like bowers in beds Of roses, or hol-
lows in cakes Of homemade sugar.
Il am diving to fly to thy presence,
aud r.out the burning cloquencc of
my love, as thrifty housewives pour out
hot coffee. Away from you l am as mel
ancholy as a sick rat. Sometimes l can
hear the June bugs Of dependency buzz
ling in my ears. and feel the cold lizards
of despair crawling down my back. I'm
couth fears like a thousand minnOws,
nibble at my spirits /; and my soul Is
pierced with doubts like an old cheese
is bored with shippers.
"My love for Won is stronger thanthe
smell OF Cofley's patent butter, or the
kick Of a Young COW, and more unsclfish
than a kittens first caterwaul. AS a
song-bird bankers for the light Of the
day, the cautious mouse for the fresh
bacon in the trap, rs n mean pup hank
ers for new milk, so I long for thee.
"You are fairer than q specklcd pull
let, swectcr than q Yankee doughnut
fried in sorghum molasses, brighter than
a top-knot plumagc or the head Of q
muscovy Ouch. You are candy, kisses,
raisins, p~ound-cakc, and swcetened tod
dy together. :
'If these few remarks will enable you
TO see the the inside Of my soul, and me
to win your affections, | shall be as hap
py rs a woodpeckcr on a cherry tree, or
n stage horse in agreen pasture. Ii you
can not rcciprocatc my thrilling pas
sions, | will pine away like q poisoned
bcdbug, and fall away from a flourish
ing vine Of life, an untimcly branch /;
and in the coming years, When the shad-
ows grow from tho hills, and the philo-
sophical frog sings his cheerful evening
hymns, you, happy In anothcr's love,
can come and drop a tear. and catch a
cold, upon the last resting place of,
"Yours, afrectionatcly, IL"
Verdict for the plaintiff, and $500