The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-05-18
a ouaint old Scotch proyerb runs

"A quaint old scotch pr0VerD runs tnu4 !:
can ounce of mother is worth a pound Of
clergy"
= The heart is the only thing that increases
in value by being broken.
= 1t is not the sharpest people who succeed
the best. Many an instrument is so kesH thXt
it cuts those who handle it, worst of all:
Down east they call finger posts ministers
because they point the way to other people, but
don't go themselves.
-"My dear, it is very wrong for young peo-
pie to throw kisses" "Why, mamma; they
don't hurt, if they do hit"
- An Indiana paper notices the death of an
old subscriber, and touchingly adds: eve are
sorry to hear of the death of any of our sub
scribers who are prompt about paying upj'
"A Boston paper is Gin favor Of Women
voting if they want to-" A Western paper
"would like to see the man who could mako
them vote if they didn't want to-"
- Give man brains and riches, and he Is 8
king; give man brains without riches, and
he is slave; give man riches without brains,
and he is monkey.
- Placing the eyes under water, and rapidly
opening and closing them, will serve to keep
them in healthy condition; and very nstta
preserve and prolong the sight.
An Irish paper says that, "if the absence
of both editors, the publishers hsse succeeded
in securing the services of a gentleman 10 edit
the paper this week"
A negro, after gazing at some Chinese,
shook his head and solemnly said, If dewhite
folks be so dark rs dat out dar, l wonder what's
de color of dc black folks 2"
"A Snowman adyertises that among his other
curiosities is the celebrated difference" which
has been so often split by bargain makers. He
says he has both halves Of it.
A young man with good trade or hon.
orable profession, is not obliged to ask many
filyors He will hew his way to success, while
the unstable and shiflcss will grow tired, de-
spair and fail.
A young Hooser once said to a Hoosieress,
And Sal replied "Well Sam, there is one fell
low sorter courtin' and sorter not but Ireckon
it is more sorter not than sorter"
"A man lately nhtce application for ins'i-
rance ON building Situated in village where
question arc the facilities for extin-
gushing fires ?n lie wrote: at rains some
times"
- An Iowa farmer, .delirous with fever,
jumped down thirty-foot well, climbed out,
in his town want all the wells filled up. They
say if invalids adopt such a hygienic mode of
treatment, physicians must starve.
= A nice young man put shset round him
to scare Dutchman. The ysatonic gentle--
man says II shust jumpeaout from de corner
und vip der gost all dc time. would vip him
if he vas a whole grsveyad:n Some one asked
the young man what allied his black eye, and
he said he had received bad news from Ger
many.
A man was arrested in Buffalo last week
for stealing barrel of salt. When arraigned
in the court he pleaded destitution.. aYow
couldn't eat salt, said the Judge: ."Oh yes I
could, with the meat | intended to steal"
This reply cost him six months. The Judge
had no appreciation of delicate humor.
= Haips Journal Of Health, writing of lon.'
gcvity, states that ont of one thousand personss
who have reached seventy years, it will be-
found that about 4S are clergymen, orators and
public speakers, 10 are farmers, 33 are wcsking;
men, 80 soldiers, 90 lawyers, 81 professors and
24iphysiciaas. One half of all who i've die
before Neage of II ;'only neperson in hum
dred reaches 90, and one in ten thousand reaches
100. Married persons live longer than singles.