Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-03-11
Facts and Famcles.
Sober Habits--Grave>clothes
A popular Loan-Cologne.

business than you have, look at the ad-
vertisments he has in the papers. IL
What is the difference between a
carriage horse, and carriage wheel !?
One goes best when tired, and the other
don't.
Sound bill.-A quack doctor lately
sent bill to widow lady, which ran
thus: < TO curing your husband till
he died p
One bad man in church harms the
whole congregation aud one bad min>
ter deals blow at true religion every
time he shows himself in the pulpit.
Rnttle>nake Bite VS.. Whisky.-A
nlan in Herkimer was bitten by rat
tlesnase about twenty years ago, and
still keeps taking whisky to cure the
bite.
Hugging and kissing.-A CORES
pondent hints at hugging and kissing
among male and female members of a
certain lodge of Good Templars We
should say that was embracing the
temperance cause rather ardently.
Good Women.-Our devil has been
reading the bible recently. He says
that Of all the good women mentioned
IN the good book, Ruth seems to have
trea'e ed her sweetheart the worst. She
pulled his ear and trod on his corn.
Boots-Elijah Hedges, of Corn hil
is the happy owner of pair of boots
made in 1928. for 80 years be wore
them only on Sundays and on the
Fourth of July, while for the last II
years he was worn them occasionally
1t is foolish for a man to suppose
himselfa gentleman, because he touches
his hat to party of splendidly dressed
ladies, while he scorns to extend a
helping hand to his old washerwoman
struggling across the street.
1t is foolish for girl to think she is
establishing her character as young
lady of fashion, by allowing her moth.
er TO toll through all the drudgery Of
the house, and then investing her mon-
,ey in gaudy brooches and artificial flow
ers.
A western publisher lately gave no.
tice that he eintended to spend $50 for
the purpose of getting up "A new head
for his paper The next day one Of his
subscribers dropped him the following
note Don't you do it Better keep
a donkey aud get new head for the
editor"
At regular meeting of the directors
of the Dallts Military Road Campany
the following gentlemen were electeA
officers for the ensuing year: Mr. B.
w Mitchell, President O. s. Savage.
Vice President; e. w. Waldron, Treas.
urer ; o. w. Weaver, Secretary.
A West Utica girl sned a shoema-
ker before one of the Justices in the
Exchange Building, because she could
not get inside of pair of shoes he
made for her. He set up plea that
leather was scarce, and charged that she
could have got them on easy enough if
she had washed her feet.
The following appears in one of Coun-
ty papers whereas, [, Daniel Clay,
through Misrepresentation, was induced
to post my wife. Rhoda, in the papers,
now beg leave to inform the public
that have again taken her to wife, af>
ter settling all our domestic broils, In
an amicable manner, and that every
thing as usual goes on like clock work y
A boy living on Broad Street. asked
his mother the other day if his papa was
not getting rich ? The mother said she
did not know and asked the child why.
The boy replied: Almost every morn
ing, after breakfast, when Mary is sweep.
ing the parlor, be gives me ten cent
shinplaster to 60 out and play. Mary
received a short notice to quit.
Rich.-The following note was pick
ed up on one Of the streets in Whites
town. about the time it is dated
New York Mills Dec 22 1870 En-
mie how wood you like to go to the con.
cert to mite do you think wood you if
you waod wood be glad if you be redy
will call for you now doant disappoint
me will you if you do will be mrd il
is agoin to be good be reyy wount you
emmie you like gingin dount you.
yours truly John
it wont cost nothin i will pay for both
The tell tale -four. "A young lady
who resides on Mary street, excused her
self from party of friends the other
evening to superintend the recep,
ton of some groceries which young
grocer clerk--a lover of hers by the
way---hal brought to the house. AT,
ter depositing flour sack, the young
gent some how or other, as young gent,
ofttlmes done before, got his arm
around the young lady's waist and The
tell tale -four mark on a dark dress
convinced the company of that fac
when she returned to the parlor. Sh
Of course very naturally denied tn
charge; but it was nothing to be asham
ed of--as they are engaged, and th
young man will prove worthy hus
band we'll venture to affirm, as h