The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1871-11-27

ever, write out the telegram, and let me
see It. suppose, too, YOU will want me
to lend YOU shillingP
Quickly wrote:
"From Edward BrownSmith, Police Sta
ton G, North Willis, to Augusta
Brownsmith, Sunny villa, Sandstone.
DEAREsr-I am taken up wrongly on
suspicion. Come at once. Bring vicar Ol
parish to prove my identity"
In an hours time, grim policeman
handed me the following telegram in reply
"EDwARD-I am not so easily taken in
by your dodge; Come home take me to
seaside then all forgiven"
Now, never before, in my recollection,
,wOrc ut man or woman: but ! am afraid
that then my mouth did form what, sup
posed, the sapicnt cOncoctcrs of the new
"Public School Latin Primer would term
q monosyllabic dental word, terminating
with the stern n; and they would proba-
bly, further describe it rs u trnnSitivc verb.
Thank goodness, my wife cannot under
stand all that!
Depict the after wretchedncss Of that
night spent lockclupin my cell Before
poSt-but subject to police inspection, and,
| believe, also police copy-I wrote most
humble, imploring letter to my wife.
Goodness knows what amount Of dirt |
ate in that epistlc. Next morning, about
twelve o'clock, was brought up before the
magistrates. Everything that you already
know was brought up against me; and
moreover, II was sworn that JabeZ Cough,
dressed us | was, had left Sandstone sta
ton dressed in the very clothes had on,
and had knife and ticket such rs were
found on me. My telegram aud its answer
were brought forward rs condemning cvi.
dcncc. 1t was stated the reply was sup
posed to be from an accomplice, and in
cyphcr; and n remand was asked for. |
was rcmandcd One or two of the magis-
tlatcs seemed slightly to hesitate; but,
really, my slangy dress, my worn and
barnSsed appearance, and circumstances In
general, were so much against me, that |
was not surprised at what had happened.
Before the court was up, was again put
into the dock before the Bench. To my
glad surprise, saw, about to come into
the witness box, my wife, the clergyman
Of my parish, and two SOmcrsetShirc mag
istratcs, one Of whom, rs afterwards ap-
pcared, was known to some members Of
the North Wits bench at C.. Quickly
it was proved to the semi-omniscient eye
Of all.scarching unpaid justice, that | was
wlnt | am, and not the notorious forging
maleinctOr, Jahez Cough, who had So many
OtlVr aliases that dare not attempt to
pick out his real name.
The meeting with my wife and friends,
the respectful but not at all scrvile apology
OF the policemen, my late guardians, the
dinner with some of the magistrates who
had sat in judgment on me, the journey
home next day, the unceasing banter which
everywhere encountered, and the GyfI
curtain lectures from my wife, pass over,
and leave to the Imagination Of my readers;
though to me they were stern realities.
All | can say is, that Il there are many
wives who possess the twcnty-Caudle'h horse
i beg pardon, twenty -Caudlc-mdrc power
that Ms. Browrsmth is gifted with, |
am surprised that there are not more sui.
cidcs per annum than the Registrar Gen.
eral would have lis believe.
OF course, | had to take Mrs. B. to the
seaside She put on the inexprcssiblcs
there, and has worn them ever sincc-to
the great misfortune of her henpeckcd hus-
band. | hear her gentle voice calling me
to roll the gnss.plot It's hard work
but
looming, my dear. Coming"