Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1871-01-06
0leanings.

Gently received the following order fro
Cadiz: "Cend me pair of esq. Toa
Shoozc N. H"
A witty writer says: Lawyers an
clients remind me Of the two rows fpet
pie at fire: One passing along fu
buckets and the other empty ones"
Eight American drug houses make
speciality in dealing in proprietary, pat
ent" medicines, having an annual trad
Of s7,Oo0,OOO
There are two reasons why some pea
pie don't mind their own business On
is that they haven't any business, and th
second that they have no mind.
young woman passed through COLLEGE
disguised in mans attire, and cut thirty
cords Of wood to help pay her way.
Since the invention of the immense
cases in which ladies' wardrobes ARD
transported, all the small railroads in theI
country are calling themselves Grand
Trunk Lines"
Madeline Henriqucs' costumes are CALI
ed the richest on the New York stage1
Madcline's other name is Mrs. Jennings3
and her husband has a neat $4,000 a yearI
job on the New York Times.
A physician said Of quack, that ''ha|
was such an ignoramus, that, ifhc could
take lantern and go down inside his
patient, he couldn't find out what the
matter was
A man In very moderate circumstances
in Gorlitz, Prussia, has lost in the battles
in front of Metz, three sons and four
sons in law. Now he is the sole support
er of seven widows, with sixteen children.
A Dctroiter who took flask Of whisky
| with him on shooting trip, struck q
race track in the suburbs on his return,
and walked around it all night wondering
why he didn't get home.
The Medical Record records the some
what remarkable fact that Of the 81, 7,S22
soldiers who were wounded during the
rebellion, only four cases Of gunshot
wound of the heart We're reported.
Are YOU colored?" asked an official OF
dusky looking inebriate at the Provi-
dence (N H. central station, the other
evening. No" answered the enfran-
chised drowsily, Il was born So"
Joe Jefferson got a check cashed in a
| New York bank. where he was not rec
| osnize,l. by simply rcmarking in his in
imical style: 'lf mein little dog Schnei-
| der was here, he would know me-"
| A Milesan, born On the last day Of the
year, fclicitatcs himself on his narrow es-
cape from not being born at all: BE
| ilbers." says he, AN if it had been the
next day what would have become Of
me:"
The following is description of prop
erty which occurs on the records Of Ne
vada county, California. Extending
down the canyon 10 piece of iron driv-
en- into the bed rock seven hundred feet
more or less"
An afFectionate parishioner-The GU
rate: ''Oh dear, oh dear. Drunk again,
Jones, Drunk again, And in broad
daylight tool" Jones: "Lorshir .hic)!
whatsh the oddshs Sh-Sh-Sho am l."
Il Punch.
At Blairsville, Indiana, a young Prus-
sian beauty took the premium by drinking
twenty seven glasses of beer without
loosening her corset, in honor Of the bat
tie Of Sedan. She was girl Of Sedan ia
ry habits, too
1t is stated by French periodical
journal that, at the battle of Sedan, five
hundred surgeons and hospital nurses
took part in the fight, and left more than
two hundred of their number dead on the
field of honor.
The method of making bowl of oyster
soup that can be retailed at five cents.
four of which will be profit, is as follows:
Take five Baltimore oysters, photograph
them. to each photograph add five gal
Ions of water, season to suit the taste.
A Connecticut pastor declined an addi-
ton of 300 to his salary, for the reason,
among others. that the hardest part OF
his labor heretofore had been the collec-
tion Of his salary. and it would kill him
to collect $1Oo more.
A single pound of faxen thread. in
tended for the finest specimen Of French
lace, is valued at five hundred dollars,
and the length Of the thread is about two
hundred and twenty-siX miles. One
pound Of this thread is more valuable
than two pounds of gold.
One Maine editor has sued another
Maine editor for defamation of character.
and the defense is understood to be that,
in the first place, the plaintiff had no
character to speak of and that, even il
he had. nothing the defendant could say
woald injure anybody.
Never" SAYS a hen -pccked man. mar
nv woman worth more than thou art.
When | married my wife was worth tif.
ty cents, and she was worth siNty-two
cents: and when any difference has oc.
Cured between us since. she always
throws up the odd shilling"
Il do not know" said the Vicar OF
Wakefield, whether such flouncing and
shredding is becoming even in the rich,
if we consider. upon a moderate ca!cula-
ton, that the nakedness of the INDECENT
world may be clothed from the trim
mings Of the vain
The Louisville Courier journal in Civ
ing a list of forty murders in that city,
within the last thirty years, significantly
remarks that. "at all times. in peace or
war. it is notable fact that by far the
larger proportion of these murders result
Cd directly from intoxicating liquors.
The woman's rights women Of the
Revolution have issued a call for Ma
tional Suffrage Convt ntion. ito assemble
at Washington, the lth Of January, for
the purpose Of urging upon Congress the
necessity ola speedy passage of a SIX
teenth amendment"
A Connecticut deacon, who made 4
sharp bargain by trading Il lame horse tc
the minister, was asked what he though,
the Lord would say to him for cheating
so. He said there was no evidence to
show that the Lord knew a foundercd
horse any way. They talk of turning
| him on. of the prayer meeting.
Josh Billings sums up his mortality ex
pericnce thusly: Men. if they amt toe
law, liv sometimes till they are eighty
and destroy the time a good deal as fol
lows: The first thirty years they spend
/ throwing stuns st Il mark; the next thir'
| " they spend in examining the mark 10
see where the stunS hit, and the remain
| der IL divided in cussing the stun throw
ING Dizziness and nussing the rumaliz."
The yearly mortality Of the globe is
said to be 33,333, S3S persons. This is at
A. .,to of az jay 2S3 ner hon ;