Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-11-09
ELECTION r ETuRNs.

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From the returns thus far in New
York the Republican majority will
reach IS, 600. The city polls strong
Democratic vote. ,-.'.-..
No definite reports from Illinois,
Wisconsin, Virginia or New Jersey.
Cincinnati is to have 800, 600 hotel
containing three hundred rooms.
Why is your icharnbermaid immor-
tai? She returns to dust every Gay
without dying. @ ar
1t is unaccountable that a little
whisky makes man so noisy, for it is,
of itself, 4 still production.
ga prudent man." says witty
Frenchman, sis like pin-his head
prevents him from going too far"
In Indiana, u local paper ttr.buted a
scarcity of small change 10 its being
sent the heather throug church col
lections.
Abiding to chignons, Mrs. Clever
said: "a girl now seems all headp'
.Yes, till you talk to her" replied Mr..
Clever. -,
A genius in Cayuga County, n. Y,
has been experimenting this season
with the view of utilizing the Canada
thistle, and has succeeded in distilling
from the stalks and leaves and article |
of spirits which he styles sthistlewhisky.
1t Is represented to be about thirty-five
per cent. alehhol, of a pleasant aromat-
ic favor, and the effect upon the system
is peculiarly penetrating and exhilara-
ing. d iu
A Hartford editor having twitted an
editor in a neighboring city of being
bald, subsequently apol0gized, and ex-
planned that, "as long as-can fold
his ears over the top of his head he
doesn't need any hair anyhow.
Norwich Township Franklin Coun-
ty, has settled the question of the rights
CT its colored youth respecting school |
privileges, by a vote of six to three of
its Board of Education, declaring that |
all citizens of whatever color are enti- |
tied to the benefits Of the schools of the |
townships.
During the month of November we
After the 24th of December the days |
begin to lengthen again.
1t has been the song of the Democra-
CIV for year past, that the Republican
party was "dead." Ifthis were true,
| 1t must have had sudden resurrection.
Five years ago." remarks the Phil.
adephia Press, 1--WE fought the Democ-
racy with the spelling book, and whip
ped them. This year our weapon is
the arithmetic, and itis just as dead
| ly. et ata ga
The Cardington Republican says:
"At Westfield a young mother gave
brit, to male child, with crossed legs
looped over the head, firmly and unal-
terably entwined around the neck.
Morrow County is destined to compete
with the world for the supremacy il;
freaks of nature" III
The latest euphuism for red half is
Canandaigua color; Canandaigua being,
as every New York railroad traveller
knows, a little beyond A.5urn.
One who wishes the world to know
what he knows about farming, says
1.-THE best way to raise strawberries is
with a spoon.
4 A little child in Trumbull county,
aged three years, had both its legs cut
off the other day, by its father, while
engaged in cutting corn in the field.
The child was standing in the corn,
unobserved by the iather, when the
laccident happened. It was still living
lat last accounts. i-s
1t is no wonder 50 many murders
are committed throughout the country
when men openly advertise patent
stabbing machines.
Motto for railway directors-Never
mind passengers; it'sfreight that makes
the cargo.
| In Tuscarawas county the thieves
make raids on farmers, barns and; carry
off grain. One farmer lost sixteen
bushels OF clover seed a few nights
since. a3 tear a.
Farmers gathering their stock ofcorn
sing Fodder, dear fod der, come home
with me now"
"Whois that foreign lady with the
low-cut dress?" asked bystander ut a
party. "That is Mrs. Chemisof, a Rus
sian lady," re.t,- IA
The season for shooting mothers-in-
law in Indiana has opened auspiciOusly. |
The way to do the thing is TO mistake |
the old ladyfo bearor burglar, and |
perfOrate her with shot gun. No. 6 |
shot is generally used. i
Theodore Tilton says that Mrs. |
WoOdhull climbs a tree like squirrel. |
That must be on all fo,rs. He: knows
too much. So ~, -.
A little boy OF ten years, living near I
Miltonsburgh, Noble County, this sea-
son, gathered enough chestnuts TO pay |
for good sewing machine, which he
presented to his widowed mother.
Near Bucyius, Ohio, Friday, VIII
liam Barth, while out hunting, fell |
from wagon, his gun being discharg-
ed, tine load entered his heart, from the
effects of which he died soon after.
An enthusiastic editor, speaking OF a
new primo donna, says: "Her voice is
as soft as roll of velvet, and as tender
as pair of shop shop pantaloons.
The editor of the Cambridge Neus
humbles himselfand abjectly Apologies
after this fashion: '.The Secretary or
the Guernsey County Fair complains I
because we failed to mention him in i
the list of jack asses mentioned. We |
can assure him that the omission was
unintentionaI."
Ifall the horses in the world were
each to become able to- make a mile \
sooner by half q minute than ut pres
ent, the world would gain little. But
if more hardness andsongeyity could be
given to all, there would begreat ad-
vantage.
FAST HORSES. Society ows more to
the substantial farmers who ride in
the old family carryalis, than to the