The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-06-08

that 1 sworo myself out of Office without
any difficulty.
/ shall never forget that first days ex-
perience. 1t was as hot as an attic
sleeping and the Office about as
large.
Mails were in from Slangville, Talk
Town, Blow-on-V Valley, Lip Creek, Cab
Hill, Buzzin Flats, Clackfeld, and
Shouting Hollow.
Mails were in from the east, west,
north and south.
Way mails, side mails, catch mails and
through mails all slung at you like
bundles of wheat when you can't NOW
them away half as fast as they are slung.
1 stood in the midst of that mountain of
mail matter, so helpless and dumb
founded. I didn't know what the mat
ter was. l was as weak and timber as
the limpsiest bag in the pile. actually
did not know myself from the sides of
sole leather that lay about me.
In ten minutes the mails went east
and west, in fourteen they went north
and south, and already a half dozen
sorrel whiskered, raccoon-capped stage
drivers were shouting malls !" "hurry
up there" id slow this morning."
and heard one shimbly-shambly, grass
fed mule director say to another, 81
guess the new deputy is a better hand
on sorting taters than he is letters"
l knew / want much of a sorter that
day, nor much of fighter any day, but
| did sorter want to get at that miserable
skinful of revilement, and show him my
proficiency as distributing clerk, but [
was otherwise engaged.
Frantically 1 seized the mail key, and
the first thing attempted to do with it
was to wind the office clock. Finally l
succeeded in getting the mail bags open,
and all emptied into huge box in the
centre of the office.
As near as 1 could guess there must
have been about fourteen bushels of un-
assorted mail matter.
If it had been about fourteen bushels
of beans to be handpicked, the task
would not have seemed any more form
| idable.
Slangville letters went to the right,
Talk Town letters went to the left,
Blow-on-Valley went over the right
shoulder, Lip Creek over the left, Cab
Hill went obliquely to the left, Clack-
field went directly over the head, and
Shouting Hollow between the legs ; the
space directly in front being reserved
fo1 Bottleford.
was little particular at first not to
make any mistakes, but the grumbling
of those waiting for their letters, and
the shouting of the drivers without,
warned me that my time was nearly up.
So just threw them aronnd like deal
ing whist, gave each fair proportion,
reserving the biggest pile for Bottleford.
Then I stuffed the mail bags, and
jerked them out of the Office door, and
it was wonderful to see how all the
hurry and impatience of those miserable
drivers vanished as soon as they got
possession of them. One, the noisiest Of
the lot, the one who had made the un-
dignited and ta-tered comparison as q
sortey, actually hung around for half an
hour, staring at me through the win
dow, and laughing at my perplexities.
He said he would have me reported at
headquarters.
made my mind if ever got chance,
1 would report at his headquarters, and
| hind too, for the matter of that.
The stage drivers disposed Of a more
formidable and more impossible task
presented itself.
Three hundred and fifty letter boxes
to be hunted up, each with the owners
name in fine hand, written on its upper
margin. My boss, the P. NJ, told me 1
must find them out myself, then 1 would
always remember where they were.
He was man who had far more con-
tidence in his judgment than 1 had in
my memory. l recollect land very sur
prising it is that do) when was first
put upon the multiplication table, that
solid square table, as constructed in the
days'o of Daboll and Willet.
/ remember how dim, how uncertain,
how unintelligible its twelve ranks of
figures looked, beginning with and
ending with 144.
Just so that parallelogram of hollow
squares looked to me at that moment
1t seemed as if each individual owner
was gazing with blood-thirsty eyes upon
his number, and unless he received a
letter he would go for the deputy. In a
fit of desperation I seized large pack
age of letters.
Alonzo Plummer was the first name
Where was Alonzo Plummer's box?
If the name had been written on it in
letters as big as horseshoes, could not
have seen it. l slammed it inte the
nearest box.
did so with all the rest.
Every box had letter as far as they
went, and then l raised the slide. A
rush was made for the opening.
"No. 0, No. II, No. so, No. 60, No
102, Sir, No. 240, It you please anything
for Storkes? anything for Bilger? No
3l9, No. lS5, anything for Shellgrave
anything for Pickletop?"
And so it went, every mouth belching
forth number or name. l showed
out the letters indiscriminately and i'm.
partially, without regard to age, sex
nationality, color, or previous condi
ton.
Everybody got letters. but not one in
fifty got their own.
"Here, SAM" says one, Z" is letter fol
you in my box" Yes, and here is on,
for you in mine"
Whats this doing in my box 2
says another.
"Ah yes, excuse me, slight mistake
belongs to Mr.. Bangs" "Bangs, die
you say 2 just asked and you said ther,
was nothing for Bangs"
With my pencil l marked on it th,
number of the box from which ha(
taken it, and handed it out, remarkin!
in a tone of injured innocence that i
was mistake OF the sender, and not o
mine."
"a What 10 +bat 1astv Pollv Jnas' LOT