The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1871-09-29
From the Easton Argusl
4 Dcmag0guc Described ana Exposed.
FALsrAFF CooMBE AND HIS BRETu-
rem,

Tho Reverend Pennel Coombe is a
greasy ecclcsiastic, of the weight of
some three hundred pounds, whose tab
crracle of lard has been visible on the
platform Gt nearly all the temperance
meetings that have been held in Harris.
burg for twentyyears or more. Penncl
was "loyal TO the core" during the
war, but staid OF home with sounder
reasons for his cowardice than most of
his Radical brethren. His apology for
not shouldoring his niusket and hieing
TO the tented field was two fold. In the
first place, to expect man who could
under no circumstances run, but could,
Mt best, only waddle, to put himself
into a position where nimble legs are
often appliances of the most urgent
necessity, Is asking far to much of pa.
triotism. And, in the second place, the
enormous surface that Pennel would
have exposed TO the rebel bullets would
have made his death in the first battle
absolutely certain. The balls couldn't
have missed him. He would have
stood directly in the way of at least
forty in each volley.
But Brother Coombe, If he did stay
at home, was not idle. He fought the
Copperheads with oil the wind that he
could pump out of his monstrous chest
lie used TO make stump speeches on hot
nights with such reckless energy of ges-
ture, and bawl and below so Justify,
That his hearers would grow alarmed as
the OleaginOus torrents of sweat stream
cd from his fat jowls, and fear that the
holy patriot would be transmitted be-
lore their eyes, into an enormous grease
spot. 1T was for this reason that the
loyal ladies' used always to take up the
carpet on the platform where he was TO
speak and spread an oil cloth under
him. 1t was mean economy, but then
Radicals will do mean things, you
know.
Since the war, Brother Coombe has
resumed The business of lecturing on
temperance, and has, until very re-
cent period, been regarded rs a most
devoted and sincere enemy of the mad
dening bowl. But, unhappily for his
good name, he has recently made it
manifest that his care for the public
morals is altogether subordinate to his
ailectionate interest in Black Republic
can politics. He has always advocated
loudly, beginning twenty years ago,
the policy of legislating the people So
Der, and has appeared at Harrisburg
more than once, to bore for the Maine
Law. His associates, who agreed with
him in the scheme Of making the man.
uiacture and sale of liquors penal, and
most of whom shared his politics, have
tried in vain to bring the representa-
tives OF the " God and Morality' party
in the legislature to make practical
assertion Of their claim to that name in
the shape of stringent prohibitory
law. But they discovered, to their sor-
row, that the chaps whom they had
helped to elect were quite as Indifferent
TO the great cause as the Copperhead
Democracy of whom they, of course,
scorned TO ask assistance. Disguised at
last and wearied out, the large body of
these enemies of the cup resolved that
the temperance question was one of far
higher public interest than any political
scheme that now employs the minds of
statesmen, and that, since the Radical
party was too cowardly to extend them
AID, they would make ticket of their
own and send men to the capital who
could be trusted to do their bidding.
Accordingly, they held convention at
which Mr.. James Black of Lancaster,
one of their most trusted and expert
enced leaders, presided, and avowed
their new departure in no uncertain
language. In pursuance of the policy
agreed upon at this convention, many
counties, aud among them Dauphin,
have nominated separate temperance
ticket with large bodies of voters pledg- |
ed to support it.
But all this time where was Brother |
Coombe? OF course, one would natu.
rally answer, that he was somewhere in
the van of the new movement-slowly
but stoutly waddling and putting at the
column, and believing with his leather
lungs words of cheer to his hating
comrades. Alas-we blush to tell it,
Pennel ic0S not there. He was not even
peaceably at home in bed, or eating his
nightly " fry" He was in the field |
against his old brethren and Is there
still. He has mounted the stump
against them. He has written letters
and newspaper articles against them.
he has Joined the faithless partisans
who believe in prohibition, but don't
think it is to the interest of the Radical
party to agitate the question now"
He is so exceeding mad against his
old associates that he is capable of any
indecent device to mortify or damage
them. In proof of this we have only
TO recite an incident that happened at
week before last. Brother
dress his fellow temperance men in the
Court House, on an evening specified
in the bill, upon their duty to vote the
Black Republican ticket. He also chdi-
'enged discussion. A meeting assem-
bled at which the element disgusted by
Pennels base betrayal of the great
cause was largely represented. 1t was
that Mr.. Black of Lancaster
would reply to him and that his re-
marks would be seconded by Doctor
Barr, an eminent physi.
elan of Harrisburg, somewhat famous
as spiritual medium in high favor
with Washington, Franklin, and other
reputable ghosts, and also as the inven-
tor of pile ointment of rare potency
which has done much to alleviate hu-
man suffering. When Peunel had fin
ished his harangue and had delivered
himself of all the hard sayings that he
could devise against the majority of the
audience, Mr.. Black rose to reply. But,
scarcely had he begun, when the gas
was abruptly turned off and the hall
was shrouded in utter darkness. In the
confusion that ensued Brother Coombe
sneaked Off and the meeting was brok
IN up. The Indignation of the assem-
bly, may be imagined. 1t rose almost
10 madness when it was learned that
Brother COombe was giving 1t cut to
he newspaper reporters that the turn
ng off of the gas was scheme of
Blacks, who, knowing his inability to
reply, had adopted this trick to escape
exposure. Then it was that the
thoughts of the betrayed people took
orm in words. We think even Pennel
would have blushed to hear ladies who
,nce worshipped the very ground he
wall ed on There was good deal OF 1t
10 worship) calling him "a nasty hypo:
rite" "a greasy wretch" "a bloated
Nd humbug," and other pet names.
The men were more terse and pro
bounced Pennel ga great big hog" In
deed, the bitterness of the feeling was
such that, when the reverend renegade,
during the course Of the night, applied
10 DR.. Barr for medical aid (the nature
)f his malady can be inferred from the
remedy desired) that gentleman refused
% sell him box Of the ointment at any
,rlce.
This treacherous trick of Brother
Joombe did much to forward the move.
nent In Dauphin for a seperate temper-