davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-01-21

Inc common article Of Castor Oil is divested
OF i's nausesus taste ard smell by the iutroduc.
.!oh OF the new preparation known IA "Armo.
tized Castor Oil"
For sale by Il. Y. Griyys.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-01-21
THE MARRIAGE BROKER.
BT BEENtS.


BY BEEMUs
IL our 'P-pIer, Nc. last week. vo 70. rrcl
very h"t, :" IT." Narriaae Booker little
thinking OF tie. impor' ,nc- Of hi- vocatjon and
never 1,raw'r- HAT thr notice IN umrs.r,, would
br treated y advertisements Il seem. ro have
been extensively r"ad toe letter, are pouring in
nuon tb- VI r'i,s" Broker from every part of
the rou"trl. unil thor worthy scn,ler,,n fnds
his PRESENT fl" to, >nai. aud himself, without
score or NOR ii clerk unable TO attend 10 the
many demands upon his attention He thinks
OF erecting nlock of buildings. covering few
acres Of ground. nine stories hjgh Mans ird roof
and no fire escape, the whole of this mammoth
building +" hc devoted TO his uses.-matches
made in the lower stories aud divorces above.
From the numerous letters received bv him
We select few:
Pedunk,
Mr. Maridge Broker, Jan. II. 1871.
deer ser,
l sc by the oteway paper
tibet you air into the bi2zins of seleck,en of men
and wimmtn tor maridge purposes. I want to
GIT married must git inarred. | want man
! mn>t hey " u. This thing hes bin goin %,
long rnutt nm nj onto 10 yeres old, ~ L.iu't
hin marred yi' This hes got tew be stopped.
va" "''"iA week new
a,,.,, ,'1 -, s "''t ""i '"''i'" ." 'e" ot,
viii o,o,e,, ,oyt ,;,'.. ~. '"e ma" 1
7 ,,a,n h;,,,;, a,., - VIZ
in this Letter. list where mi n.ue !. .;,,roa
When cum ont will Civ you the reel simen
DOOR i.tlkel. Nuuru frspr,teIv
'N'Ni ANN schAdGo'
~ BOSTON, Jure 10 1871.
.''e =" '',' ~ ntoNer, o''"@"
REQ ar '" A'ri"deuS Jones. who is stupid,
'"'' 'ns'''i '"rmeF' L ioh2 TO SOAR INFO that
WIG" '.'' III the upper Regions OF mental and
pm "f' CONT "Pi''rhte--to ethei!'l -p!tndc's of
aI- "N"t non, where 'Ay retire! nature will
"o'' '"''' immune WI k'Hdrrd perfection.
"e' me al manly ana VIII ny to nln.
~, 1nHrS Responsibility,
E"o'i'y s''"e, JANE JONES.
'0P'ri'"i' h'"cJ ANGELICA HkARTsDEIIGHT.
OTTAWA Jls J,,u,rv 1o,h 49,,
Mr.. Mnria4, broker: '0'''
Sir.-A. YOU ,r. ,dv.rt;.ir, ,be hu.;.. 81
Marriage Br,arr it become. INV du,v 10 notify
vow thu uplr.. Won ,nn.,r -. nv a, 49,!
one hur and Dy So ,,,vrrnn,,.,, i;c.n ".''I '
your mi.srabl, Occupation, | shall osu.. yonr
Innediate arrest, and shall proceed 10 vonr Cow.
vic,ion with all possible de.p itch. The n.naltv
i, fine OF no, res, than 81 OOO and ;r'n-;.,,,
ment not les, than four wears.
Yours.
. .. WHIN QUrrMAN
Government Assessor
This last LETTER was rece;vod -, o,,.
"'
oc'o'A yesterday evening Az nVe minutes past
we passed the Marriage Brokers' office. 1t was
closed A card tied to the door knob, with a
h,,c. r,,, road "ro l.. ,r,n;., p,.,,.
-, N'oN'f Is
oea"
The re.sor wbv .E,re,,,. vo,,,h,o IT..
stor,,ivs" has l,r,,r .,e and !. nova a,,,,t,-
,b,r .rv o,t.r !. simnl, h.o.u :, :. =. pJpu'"'
Ia, 7; il ,h,rnr.i -, ~ aa,;on 40 ,"o % G,,,
y, T, !. .,r ,,s.r.t ,; ,
ful bcan,v. nr,jucinr oos ,jjv,;nc, sI,Ge mhiIo
other. Isays The hair i, ,,,o, g,yje1 colo,, ""'''
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-01-21

" Chicago dressmaker has invented tho di.
vorce travelling suit.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-01-21
WHIN QUITMAN,
Government Assessor.

This last letter was received at exactly 4
o'clock yesterday evening. At five minutes past
we passed the Marriage Brokers' office. 1t was
closed. A card tied to the door knob, with u
Black rag, read ITO let. Marriage Broker is
dead ~
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
VOLUME xxxv.-No. IS.

A MEDICAL JoKE.-An exchange
says: The worst joke that was ever
perpetrated on scientific men took
place recently at Louisiana, Mo. A
man was sick with rheumatism, or
something, and a fellow went around
to the doctors and professors and
things, and told them that it was the
queerest case on record. He said the
man had no feeling. YOucould stick !,
pinsin his body all over, and he paid
no attention to them at all. He was
perfectly numb. So the doctors got
together and called on the sick man
to experiment. All arrived with pins
and needles and bodkins.a The man
was asleep, and they got around hun,
and each one stuck his pin in the pa
tient. The sick man rolled over and
looked at the crowd, and thought they
had come to dissect him, SO he tooka a
chair in. one hand and a bed post in
the other, and drove. the crowd
thence. They'are around with their
heads tied up, looking for the man
who said that sick man had nofeel-
inp
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

PROPERTY QUALIFICATION TO VoTE
FOR COUNTY STATE SBNAroR.-Ii
the press and leading men of this
State would advocate this measure
in. our opinion it would be made g
part Of the Constitution. Its justice
and fairness and necessity, to pro:
tect the property and taxpayers o.
the State, is SO obvious that we be.
lieve it would not be strenously op-
posed by the influential men of the
political majority in South Carolina
It would wrong no one, and leave
every citizen with the full rights Of
suffrage for every other representa-
tive and officer of the State and the
United States,t that he nov possesses. II
would only secure the great, princi-
pie Of taxation and representation
united, the principle upon which the
republic of the United State was
originally founded. Now is a favo-
rable time to agitate this measure
before the people. 1t will test the
sincerity Of those who profess q
willingness to protect all classes, and
who pronounce. themselves opposed
to corruption. The late taxpayers
convention ignored ths proposition
Cumulative voting seemed to betheil
only plan, but that will fail to. accom-:
plish the end desired, although good
+ NAV come of it.-Greenville Enter
prise.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

RICH WITHOUT MoNEY.-Many a
man is rich without money. Thou
sands of men with nothing. in their
pockets are rich. "A man born with
a a good, sound constitution, a good
stomach, agood heart and good limbs,
and pretty good head-pieee is rich.
Good bones are better than gold (;
tough muscles than silver; and nerves
that flash fire and carry energy to
every function, are better than l'ouses
and lands.
1t is better than a landed estate to
have had the right kind Of a father
and mother. Good breeds and bad
breeds exist among men as really as
among herds, horses and other AMI
mails. Education may do much to
check evil tendencies, or to develop
good ones but it is q great thing to
inherit the right proportion of facul-
ties to start with. :.
The man is rich who has a good
disposition-who is naturally kind,
has flavor of fun and wit in his
composition. The hardest thing to
get along with in this life is a mans
Q own self. A cross, selfish fellow, a
desponding and complaining fellow
"a timid care burdened man-these
are all born deformed on the inside
Their feet may not limp, but thoughts
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
s4 From the Sumter News.
Ex-President Davis and his Ira
= = ducprS. -l

Weread in that rich treasury Q
wisdom, Esop's Fables, that .whel
the Lion was old and. sick unto-death
amongthe beasts that. came to ofe
their coincidence and sympathy, tn
Ass, who had always been one of tn
most fulsome hatterers and warmes
professed admirers of the Lion, mad
his appearance I'D seeing that th'
noble king Of beasts was now utterly
helpless, turned about and flung hi
cowardly heels into the face of th'
dying moparch.
We have been forcibly reminded O
this fable Of Esop, seeing the manner
in which certain editors have taker
it upon themselves to disparage and
condemn Ex-President Davis for the
expression cf his honest and patriotic
sentiments in us late speech at At
lanta. That be language and char.
acterof the no powerless hero should
be misrepresented and villifed by the
uncharitable, narrcw-minded and big
oted editors of sectional partisan
papers, whether published in New
York, Chicago or Charleston, was to
be expected. But that an old and
leading South Carolina paper, which
was. once among the warmest apd
loudest admirers and supporters Of
Jefferson Davis. should become SO
demoralized and recreant, as to join
in the hue and cry againsthim, is sad
and humiliating to the lovers-of fair
ness, consistency and truth, to the yet
remaining brave and faithful sons Of
the South. Such, however, is butthe
natural consequence of new depart
ures" from principle and duty for the
sake of erpediency. Trimmers, time
servers and political tricksters may
approve such recreancy, but. those
who neither "accept the situation
voluntarily and cheerfully, nor solicit
appointments from Radical sources,
will look upon it with sorrow and
contempt.
As to the avowed mongrels, and
the pretended Democrats like the
eNew-York World, who unite in
Ainging personal abuse at the honor
ed and venerable E1-President of
the Confederacy, we pity and despises
them. The one are plainly actuated
by malice and petty spite, the other
by a mean and cowardly policy, a
policy which we are sure will avail
them nothing. It will not conciliate
bigoted Republicans; but it will dis
gust candid and honorable men both
North and South.
The truth is this. The accept
the situation lists feel conscience
lsmitten and reproved by the Ex-
Presidents language and sentiments
while the Mongrels fear lest his in
Auence should tend to check the
Democratic masses from following
their unwise leaders in the. "new
departure, which we verify believe,
if persisted in, is destined to cause
the defeat of the party IN 1872.
1Hc C67astit,ttion mast be restored.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

The Danbury (Conn.( NeaUs sup
.plements that story about the girl in |,
South Norwalk who caught q husband
by writing her name and address on
the lining of a hat she waa trimming,
with the following:
"This is an cid trick, played by
severafof our girls one of whom in
particular had an eventful experience.
She stitched her name inside the IL
ming Of q hat beneath the statement
+ I am thine; wilt thou be mine E and
sent it adrift. After various vicissi-
tudes it was purchased by a gentle
man, and took a position on his head;
One day the lining. became loose, and
in endeavoring to fasten it his eye
rested upon the sentiment and name,
and be itvoluntarily exclaimed, D-n
fool When Martha returned to her
home that day, she was taken to 9 re:
tired part of the cottage and WARMED
up with strap. The gentleman who
cot % the hat was her father" q,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
Forgetting Business.

The art of forgetting. business is
an accomplishment that all men 40
not possess, but that every man ought
to endeavor to acquire. 1t is no easy
thing to do, however; the claims of
business are admitted to be so pre-:
eminent, and it is considered so for
tunate a thing to have business to
think about, that it IS the iewest num-
ber Of persons who try to throw the
cares Of it off the mind. But we
think too much about business. It is
our souls in season and out, by night
as we'll as by day, in our hours of
pleasure, and in our hours of labor,
at home or abroad. 1t obtrudes itself
at our feasts, in our sick rooms, in
our triumphs, in our suffering, in our
recreatiohs, in our prayers, and in
our worship. There are many men
who lay awake at night, studying
about their business, and some of this
class declare tif;at they lay the ~foun-
dation of their success in life to these
anxious nocturnal cogitations. 1t is in
this constant, painful wrestle with the
problem of how to make money, that
brings premature lines into the face
of our people, deprives them of a
large share of enjoyment, and turns
the homes that ought to be abodes OF
10Y, mirth and comfort into scenes OF
dreary silence and care. AS gene
raj thing, business ought to be confn-
ed to business hours and business
places. It has no right to intrlde in
places where gentler powers hold
sway. We need not be necessarily
thinking and talking Of wheat, corn,
mess pork, boots and shoes, calico,
the price of stocks, gold and silver ;
to do so destroys half the pleasure of
life, and robs US. Of the capacity to
enjoy wealth, even after we have ac-
quired it. 1t is not proper to neglect
business; but it may be taught to sit
lightly on our shoulders, so that. it
may be thrown off when we leave Its
legitimate domain. 1t is a mistake
to ) suppose that those that think most
about business are the best business
men. The. mind that is under a
continual strain of care. soon icses
its elasticity and vigOr; but he who
throws anxiety aside, at the proper
time, and gives. himself up to the Joys
of home, friendship. society, and
religion, will go to his Office refreshed
and quickened,. and prepared every
day anew for the conflicts OF busl-
ness.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

7ate individuals or mining or manu-
featuring companies, vii most Ger
tainly be Of narrow gauge, for those
who construct railways as part oi
their "plant, and not as separate
speculations, are wise enough to see
that broad gauge lines gre much toe
expensive to be ihdulggsa in: Hence
the necessity that The main i line should
be a narrow gauge raiillWag; the traffic
of the branch lines must pass to and
from it without transfer,. without
break of gauge, or time will be lost
and expense inquired, SMc6 will mill
tate considerably aggaaiinSitt agaiiSt the utility
Of the railway. n.
This question Of branch lines is a
highly important one, ana am anx-
Eiols that it should not be overlooked.
If a railway e company viii take care
to lay down such main a road that
branches may be run into it at COM
paratiyely small expense they may
safely calculate that feeders will be
constructed all along HsEoute. Every
little watershed Of industry, so to
speak, will send down itariYulet, and
a full flow of traffic will roll along
the main stream. Iflon the other
hand, the, gauge ofasmain line be
such that connections With it can only
be made at a large cossthe sources. of
traffic will necessarily be confined to
the narrow strips which lie along
either side of the r1ad, and the regio IS
beyond will neither BE benefited
themselves nor.oontribdte to the divi-
dends Of the shareholders.
AS to the main linekitself, I need
scarcely point out thai if a narrow
gauge railway can be CONSTRUCTED at
about half the cost ola broad gauge
line, the same capitalwifl Scommand
the traffic Of doublssthe length of
country. A thousand5miles Of road
can be built when otherwise only five
hundred could be built and the case
will be exactly parallel with that of
a man who can keep two shops going
instead Of one; if suehsa man can't
make his fortune the faster he. has no
one to blame but himself.
In a territory only partially deyel-
oped the narrow eS,system offers
an easy solution of. a difficulty which
must otherwise! be. Alt. Over. the
water you are enabled by a sort of
prophetic gift toqtermseven your vii
lagos cities. You are we'll assured
that before many yearaare over they
will be cities in reality as well in
name. Meanwhile, daling the period
of growth, however briet that may
be, are they to be'without railways,
destitute of the very Chief cause Of
progress? Or is a.heavy capital
to be idle for some years whilst the
railway waits for the increase of pop
ulation and the growth Of industy? ?
The narrow gauge system, | say, at
fords the answer: a thousand miles,
Of such territory may support rail
way when FIVE -hnnd hcolld not.
In my next letter Ipropose. with
your permission, to show how it is
that one thousand miles of narrow
gauge can be constructed at the same
cost as FIVE hundred miles of broad
gauge.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
Brevities and Leyities.

m- "Joys that we have tasted may
sometimes return" sang an intoxicated
wit on the street the other night while
the potatins taken in the early part OF
the day were coming unbidden to the
surface.
as> A sarcastic young lady Says she
never was so muchin love with man
that two rainy days together In country
house would not effectually cure ner.
as- What's the difference between a
chilly man and warm dog2 One wears
a great coat and the other pants.
es- Some one wrote in ahotol visitors s
book his initials, ga. s." A way wrote
underneath, "Two-thirds of the truth.
esr An afflicted husband was return-
ing from the funeral OF. his wife, when a
f-iend asked him how he was. "Well, u
said he pathctically, ~ think I feel the
better:for that little waikiki
nS- A man asked another to come and
dine off boiled beef and potatoes with
him. "That. WILL" says the other
"and it's rather odd it should be exactly
the same dinner had at home for my
self, barring the beef.'
@- About the year 1856 the Legisla-
ture of Pennsylvania passed resolution
that "no member thereof should come
to the House barefoot, or eat his bread
and cheese on the steps,"
! gS- A gentleman saw an advertise
ment that recipe for the cure of dys-
pepsia might be had by sending. a pos
tage-stamp to the advertiser. He sent
his stamp, and the answer was "Dig in
your garden and let whiskey alone"
as- The Lynchburg virgihian hasun
furled." "the spotless banner of the White
man,s party and proclaims that such
an organization is necessity of the
times. Notany new departure for 1t.
es On Lombard street, Philadelphia,
| near Seventh, the following appears on q
sign hanging in cellarway of saloon
"Bolloney sorseg, Pigs feat, Oyster
gupe, sheap's tungs.' The letters are
painted in red and blue, on white back;
] ground, and white stars interspersed
| between them.
| @ A Frenchman, bat recently ar
Il
rived in America, bought,a cow and cali
from neighboring farmer, and, as they
were not sent at the time promised, he
4 wrote thus:,; Monster suppose you
send me- my she beef tl.l and his baby"
aT The ladies say TINT all tthe bustl,
5fthat msde about the Grectan bsnd Il
newspaper stuff. That's 90. ,saml
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

They use guano down in Alabama
to coax the crops along, and the man
who sells the best guano gets the
most trade. There is one kind that
is awful soon. a farmer put a sam
ple Of it in his pocket and started for
home. There was carpet tack in
his pocket when he put the guano in
there, and when he got home there
was wa, 4 bar Of railrosd iron sticking
outof his pocket which almost weighed
his horse down. he said he though
he felt sonething heavy in his pocket
the sthalf Of the journey 1fsom.
papers told this story, no one would
believe it. .,.Els- 3!
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

The DIGNITY OF STUp1DITY.-It is
a very respectble thing to be- stupid
Cheek goes longway with some peo,,
pie, but, when the question is one OF
permanent success, give us that lux
/ urious efaorescence Of social conver-
sation-dignifed stupidity
. Yes, there can beno doubt of it
solemn. stupidity is eminen1ly respec',
fobl,.. to There is a solidity about il
which which commands respect because it il
So 8 pondeyous. We have seen scores o
preachers, ra lawyers, statesmen, judges
and doctors, who managed to WORK
themselves ta selves into positions Of honor h anf
profit solely by means Of 9T. their eli I'm I'm
penetrablc stupidity: we /, are el no
speaking of the. stupl, @ty OF 1 q lool5
we mean the stupidity OF i educated ;c lle'sl
respectable men. The sub, 'eot t,s IS very cry
suggestive, and is q dangerous ON
to handle. But it is useless Sc to al;
cuss it. The responsibility of dig!!'-l
fed stupidity is firmly and perma-
nently established:-Era.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
When.
BY REV. A. ]. RYAN.

BY REV. A. J. RYAN.
Some day in spring?
When earth Is bright and glad,
When wild birds sing,
And fewest hearts are sad?
Shall I die then?
All, mel no matter when!
I know it Will be sweet
: To leave the home Of men,
To rest beneath the sod
To kneel and kiss Thy feet,
In Thy home-oh! ! my God!
Some summer morn?
When all the winds sing songs.
When roses hide each thorn =.
And smiles the spirits wrongs!
Shall I die then?
All, me no matter when!
). I know I will rejoice !;
To leave the homes OF men
To rest beneath the sod
To hear Thy tender voice
In Thy home-oh! my God!,
Some autumn eve!
When shadows dim the sky
When all things grieve
And fairest things all die?'
Shall die them.
Ah, me no matter when
know T will be'glad
To leave the homes of men
To sleep beneath the sod
No heart can e'er be sad
In Thy home-oh, ny God!
Some wintry day?
When all the sky is gloom,
And beauteous May
Sleeps in December's tomb?
Shall die then? :. -.
Ah. me no matter when!
NV heart shall throb with joy
To leave the homes of men
To rest beneath the sod
Ah, Joy has no alloy
In Thy. .home-eh! my God!
Ah, me! I tell
The Rosary Of my years;
And it is well
The beads are strung with tears
Haste, death, and come
I pine-I pray for home!
Il know it will be sweet
To rest beneath the sod
To kneel and kiss Thy feet
In Thy home-ohl my God!
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
, - ',ta,n +ola as 3 hro;rass

A good story is: told Of . business
meeting among certain Qaakcys about
a proposed canal, swhea one; of the
mostiinausntiali men present opposed
the project on the gfoand Of its spec
ulatton. This wsg,: of: course, tnan.
swefable; but among Die other obiec:
tiions, he went6 osay q IS WhenG God
createdthe #ssld. .ssi he had, wished
canslA be- wuuld have made them !
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
COTTON STATES
Life Insurance u Company
Principal Office, Macon, Ga.


HE business this STRICTLY SOUTHERN and HOME CoMPA-
Policies issued the approved Mutual plans also issues Roces
Stock rates. per under the mutual ut Goes no1 aye
patrons to insure that plan being very expensive in
the long run -, slle . ,
known that dividends good Mutual Company will about
SIS per especially at the South and West where bring
good return7
Der cent of profits Mutual business ded annually amongst
all the Mutna-Poicy Holders without exception.
onehd when desired Interest charged only
Where ali Cash bald Policies will become that Fay
out and have so per added their faces which more
thanSthe original sum insured s. 4 -. -
Ample provision against forfeiture Of Policies the. terms OF
the contract.
The Company will always purchase Policies at their Cash value
of the State the financial security Northern
Companies the accommodating premiums the insured and addition
thereto Capital commencing with $509o00! ,sff = <,s5
annually hitherto been lost to the active
ton of the South payment Northern Companies In
benefits made by
real and securities people never share on equal
then sustain our own Enterprise and thus keep money the
profits too at home. -
OMcers at Macon, Ga: ..@4a.f
VIM B. JOHNSTON, President ~
VIM S. HOLT Vice-President.
GEO S. OBEAR Secretary.
JOHN w. BURKE, General Agent.
c. F. McCAY, Acuary.
w. j. MAGILL. Superintendent of Agencies =
JAS. MERCER GREEN Medical Examiner.
prise good Company and fully identified with the interests
our people This ably represented the general management by
South Carolina Directors.
4LAVALL ABNEY,
General Agents for North and South Carolina
VIM j. LAVAL ESQ, Office, Columbia S. G,
NJ w. ABNEY M. D.. Edgefed S: G. -
June ~
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22

Upon thisa weighty friend" Zone of
their terms) rose up and said slowly
in the intohing voice in which they al
ways speak in meeting: And Ja-
cob digged a WE'LL" and sat down.
The Influential man Immediately re-
tired into, private Life, but he bought
some shares in the canal for all that.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-06-22
:. SALUDA HOUSE.

Mrs. R. B. BouEwARE respectful
ly announces to the Edgefeld public that
she has opened the sALUDA HOUSE,
and will use every exertion to please all
who may favor her with their patronage.
She solicits tue encouragement Of her
friends. .
gDeBoard by the Day, Week or Month
at as low figures as can possibly be af-
forded.
..Edgefeld, May 80 q If I$