Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-07-22
Gatherings by the Wayslde.

Some people say haired women
marry soonest. We differ; it is the light
headed ones.
Josh Billings says: If man aint
got we'll balanced head, like tcw see
him part his hair in the middle"
An Iowa woman has begun her sui.
eide by marking the place on her throat
where she intends to cut when she gets her
courage up.
Experiments in the army bakery at
Washington have shown that SO2 one
pound oaves of bread eau be made from
barrel of -four.
General Jubal Early, who figured
prominently in the rebellion, is now prac.
1iciug law in the Richmond (Va,) Courts,
having been recently admitted to the bar.
The Louisville Cow.crJournal says,
now that California has sent Grant mag
ni6cent palace car, he will never be happy
until somebody makes him present Of u
railroad.
"A gentleman in Mississippi thinks it
~ strange coincidence that every night his
hen roost is robbed some colored gentleman
NEAR by dimes on chicken pot-pie on the
following day.
The whites Of ten eggs saved the life
of Jesse Crary, of Mystic, Conn, after the
foolish boy had eaten slice of buttered
cake spread with arsenic, which his mother
had prepared for black ants.
A Western editor, who doesn't know
much about farming any way, suggests
that for garden making, a cast iron back,
with hinge in it, would be an improve.
ment on the spinal column now in use.
A Western paper says that when
Grant inauguratcs his system of civil SER
vice reform, it is expected that the first
question asked candidates for admission
will he: "What is the best time ever made
by Dextor!"
"A Boston woman refused to permit
her husband to go on fishing excursion,
because he was very ap. to get drowned
when he went upon the water, and, more.
over. did not know how to swim any more
than goose"
1t will probably surprise many people
to learn that the territory called the " Brit.
ish Isles," Of which Great Britain aud Ire
land are the chief, lying of tho European
continent, are fully 500 in number, and
that IT'S are inhabited.
"A local report Of the period: 4" Mr..
Collius, Of Hartford, bought ferocious
Watchdog. His wife says that his brecch
es cannot be meuded The dogs skin is
for sale cheap. Mr. Collins hopes to be
able to sit down in a few weeks"
-" Never be critical upon the ladies'"
was the maxim of on old Irish peer, re.
markable for his homage to the sex. " The
only way in the world that . true gentle.
man ever will attempt to look at the faults
Of a pretty woman is with his eyes shut"
Over 200 women are now working
farms on their own account iu Iowa aud
Indiana, and are making thereby far bet
ter reputation for themselves than their
sisters who are shrieking themselves hoarse
all over the land on the suffrage question.
"A gentleman learned in the origin of
social custom was asked what was the
meaning of the custom Of casting an old
shoe after newly married couple as they
started on their trip. Said he: To indi.
cate that the chances Of matrimony are
very slippery"
"A Boston paper says: a horse ran
away yesterday, and Doctor ran, and
Coroner ran, and reporter ran also. The
horse fell, the rider was unhurt, the doctor
had no case, the coroner no fee, the report
er had this paragraph, and that was all
that come Of the runaway"
An awkward looking. stage.struck
Hoosier went to see one OF the theatrical
managers at Philadelphia. lately, and soil.
cited an engagement. "What role would
you prefer, my friend" asked the mana.
ger. well, Squire, said the would be
Roscius, I amt partial to rolls, no how ;
tif earn ri ol Onrs ;s c,v,r;toS