Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-11-16
Ezekiel Perkins's Hat.

Inc following story Is told Of genial
and festive lawyer, of the olden time, by
name Ezekiel Perkins, well-to-do
bachelor. who was always made well
come at social gatherings, and was very
popular. His weakness was too great a
ionduess for good wine. Now, Mr.. Per-
kins had afew peculiarities; among them,
he had an enormous head his hats always
having TO be made for him. Then, hav-
ing got one TO tit his immense Uranium,
he took the very useless precautiou OF
putting label in the crown thereof.
reading. Ezekiel Perkins, Counselor and
Attorncy-at-law, Hartford Conn
His peculiar social failing was. that at
all stag dinner parties (and to them he
cottoncd the mosD he got-he got--weil.
there is no use shirking it, he got rather
intoxicated early in the evening. lie,
however, had the faculty Of knowing
when he had got as much as he could
comfortably carry, and, knowing this to
take his leave.
One evening, Mr.. Perkins wended his
way 10 ono of the best mansions of Hart
ford. He was in full dinner dres-blue
coat. with gilt buttons, white vest, with
black combinations, and spotless linen.
Lightly he stepped along. his hat little
To one side, swinging his cane, and hum
ming an air rs he went. He was in
high spirits. in view Of spending an un-
usually pleasant evening-enioying the
affair in anticipation; and how often
docs it exceed the reality! Having ar
rived. and deposited his hat among a
number OF Others on the hall table, he
in due course sat down to dinner.
\,r u i,Ept lunuiu,T hi haaI o,I
the propensity to indulge freely at these
meets, determined to have bit OF fun
at his expense. -, during the time
which occurred before dinner was an
nouncr,i. ho managed 10 take the label
out OF Mr.. Pcrkin,'s hat, and afiix it in
the crown of the smallest hat on the Ia
Bile. He then retired, and awaited
events. The dinLcr was, as Mr.. Per-
Kin, expected, q prime affair; so that, ,
what with song, jest, wit, and wine, he
fnuui himself, at the end OF capital
story bv his host, down TO his bearings.
q, a sailor would say. Rising from his
chair, carefully stcadying himself by the
back, hc nodded good-bv to the host
thc c'uld do no morel, and, expatia-
ting on the good time he had had, and
the excellence OF that last joke, he got
ont Of the room witha slight lurch only
and proceeded to yet his hat.
Pom me -oul' he said rs he craned
aud mooned over the table. looking for
his hat 'pon me soul. that's the bce'
Joke | ever heard Ills utterance wa.
rather thick. Yes, an the bcs' dinner
| was ever at Here he gave lurch,
but was -tcalieI by The waiter in attend
aucc i'll the hall. At last, after swaying
about for some time, hc detected his IA
bel, and, pouncing upon the hat con-
tanning it, read aloud, '/ekcal Perkins.
cnuu-lir uu - hiccup -- 'turncy-a law
Hartford. Connecticut. That's my hat.
Strengthening himself, he cndcayored
10 put on the article in hj- usual jauniy
siylc. II wouldn't do. He ben - II.
triedIJrh irTil-, held ii 10 hi- lIeId
fairly trying To tprcc hi head in. sway
ing, rocking, staggering the while; but
it wouldn't do. lie was hot and ,tupi-
fled. He couldn't understand it, Turn
Ing To the waiter, whose gravity had
nearly given way ut the gyrations, he
said with great pol'tenc-S. 'Will YOU
'blige me by readin' what, in that hat ?
Certainly, sir, Ezekiel Perkins,
Counselor aud Attorucy-at-law Hart
ford, Conn
4 knew il. knew it, That's it
that's my hat" And Immediately be-
gan tl.- same performance, but with
more energy After some moments 81
staggering, pressing and pulling, until
| he was once more at tevcrheat, he gain
| addressed the servant, with more my =
titled air than before, but i detcrmina-
I ton, a. it were, to know the worst
Il beg pardon. but will YOU be pleased
/ 10 tell me who | ann:
! Certainly, sir. know YOU perfectly
we'll You are Mr.. Ezekiel Per~in,
counselor and attorucy-at- law here in
/ Hartford
/ Il knew il. | knew it. That's right.
that's me, and that's my hat; but my
| heads most numerically swelled"