The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-08-10
HOOKS AND EYES.

To lay wager is to bet but to win
it is better.
Maids Of honor-those who do not
jilt suitors.
The grape crop this year is unusually
promising.
Indiana has one hundred and four
teen breweries.
England has 100000 paupors to
22,700,O00 of population.
Southwick, Massachusetts, has
canary bird twenty-seven years old.
a Lebanon (Tenn.) man drinks two
dozen bottles of ale daily.
The decrease in the debt for July is
SS,701,576 92.
Ambition breaks the ties Of blood,
and forgets tie obligations OF gratitude.
There are only 3,064 spoken lam
guages.
The four seasons-mustard, salt; pep
per and vinegar.
Quite crop Of lemons have been
raised in Florida this season.
Invisible switches" are advertised
by hair dealer. Now give US unseen
chignons and we shall be happy
Ladies of uncertain age and matrl-
monial aspirations are gently reminded
that leap year approacbeth.
SANDER is like tin kettle tied to a
dogs tail-fne fun so long as the tail
is on some other "feler's" dog.
Let every Republican talk to his
neighbor about the importance of the
coming election.
New York, August 2.--The list of
dead from the accident on the steamer
West6eld is now said to be eighIy-four.
Anybody can lead horse to drink |
ing place, but nobody can force him to
drink. How different 1t is with men.
We rejoice to learn from an English |
paper that man has been punished in |
London for stealing an umbrella.
Counterfeit twenties o. Superior ex.
ecution are out on the United States
National Bank of Washington.
The king of Siam has ordered that
hereafter, all soldiers and sailors of his
army and navy shall wear clothes.
Why do men not wear corsets? Be-
cause Jonah, having surrounded him
self by whalebone for three days, found
that he could not stay.
Out West trunk factory was
changed into a saloon. The keeper
merely made d out of the 7 in the
first word of .he sign.
The total number of Union soldiers
reported inferred throughout the
United States is 315, ,555 of which num-
ber l43, ,446 have never been identified.
A. petition is in circulation, and is
signed by a large number of the tax pay
ers of Richmond, praying for the in
PRODUCTION of the STUDY Of German ir,
the public schools of that city.
We are living in au age when the
bare idea Of Speeding ofthc climbs" of
chair except as climbs" is repugns mt
to the feeling Of refined people
Ahem!
Man was never intended to be idle.
Inactivity illustrates the very design of
his creation; whereas an active life Is
the best guardian of virtue and the
greatest preservative of health.
A most excellent old lady in Em-
porium is much exercised in mind to
know how it is that little quicksilver
in glass tube can make such awful hot
weather by just rising In it an inch or
two.
The control of the Union and TITUS
vile Railroad has been tran sferle6 to
the Oil Creek and Allegheny Railroad
by lee'e for 9J9 years. The officers
Of The latter road took formal possession
last week.
In Iowa topper happened to ignite
some matches rs he was awakening
from drupkeu sleep; and snufing the
air, he muttered something abous being
in the lower regions, "just as l ex-
pectcd, by hokey."
Childhood does sometimes pay Sec
ond visit to man-youth never. How
responsible are We for the use of
period so precious in itself, which will
soon pass away, never to retQrn.
Is your brother.in-law really such
lazy mani" asked one gentleman of
another. "Lazy?" WAS the reply,
"why, he's so lazy that he has an ar
tist employed by the rionth to draw his
breath with crayon."
q. P. Steinmentz, ofLebanon county.
recently threshed a crop of wheat
grown on some forty-eight acres of his
farm, the yield being over 100 bush
els-about thirty-fve bushels to the