Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-02-23
CONNUNICAwONS
C4PTEEN DEBATING CLUB.
BY JASPER.

Wednesday night seemed a longi
time coming, yet when it had fairly
come, some of us wished it still farthert
away. Our hearts, or some other lump
seemed to come up into our throats
whenever we thought of having to
make speech. Some of us had pre-
pared speech on the sail Important
question, and already it was growing
dim, and threatened to leave US entirely
by the time it came our turn to speak;
hence the necessity of going off to our
selves and repeating the main points,
thus keeping them bright enough to
shine when their time came.
When the proper time for commenc-
ing operations had arrived, the Presi-
dent called US in by rapping on the
window with the Masters "rule." The
The summons was cheerfully obeyed
notw Hstanding our squeamishness. Ike
Mite was reared back in the chair with
as much dignity as the President of the
United States.
While the Secretary calls the roll, let
us take peep at the materials of which
the "Capteen Debate" was made up.
Perhaps not one of its fifteen mem
bers was more than fifteen years old,
and the majority were under twelve,
running as low as six years. Our school
could out spell, out cypher, out run, out
jump and out wrestle any other school
in the diggings, and we were bound to
out debate them also, if pluck would
win. .-..l -. .l.,.i.- .-sl
''The first thing i'm order will be say
ing speeches and reading essays" says
the chairman, ''call the first speaker" !"
Billy Bite" calls the Secretary;
Billy come forth grinning and tremb-
ling, took his position, addressed the
chair, and made a nod to the audience
which nearly unjointed his neck. After
swallowing the lump that threatened
to choke him to death, he proceeded to
deliverthe speech, but got mixed up a
little.
.Mlry hal little lamb oas lay,
It's heece was white as snow,
Aud Wherever 1t was sure to CO.
It-it-was-it was sure to g.
ait went with her to school one day,
And-and-the master turned IL out.
Bat still-still you show your little light,
Ever when you're fed" III
After standing, and scratching his
head for some time, he said he 'blieved
,he couldn't think of the rest of it, and
took his seat amidst the merriment Of
the club. Hat
A few more speeches followed, then
the essay class came up. There being
only one in the class, he took his posi-
tien beside the chair, and proceeded to
read the following essay. We copy
Cer6dti0.. H
''oN SPRING.
Spring is nice time. Everything is |
green. The birds sing and the hens
make their nests, and everything. We
get ready for to plant corn and things,
and 1 think spring is the incest time
that ever was. It amt as cold as winter
nor nothing. So I'll quit"
"The next thing in order is debate"
lsaYs the chair. @"Read the question.
Tom." t HI
Resoired; "Which is the most use, a
Dog or Gun ?'
The chair appointed three judges,
and called the first speaker, who came
up with considerable brass, and opened |
the debate after this style.
''Mr. President, most honorable judges
and fellow citizens,
1 come before you tonight to ex-
patiate upon this most important ques-
tion. 1t appears to me that l am ON
the dog side. Now sir, I say dog is
more use than gun, for you can drive
the hogs out of the cornfield with dog, /
and Ide like to know what the hogs
would care for your gun. How would
you fight battles without guns? say
q dog is more use than a gun. Guns
goes off and kills people some times, and
dogs don't. Dogs will do most any,
thing yon. want 'em to, while a gun |.
amt no account unless you are along
with it. Now sir, I think we have |
gained the question, and Pll submit
the floor"
The next speaker come up full of con-
fidence. - rI... sr
Mr. President, T sy-s..f
Ny worthy opponent says he gained
the question, but say he didn't. I
say gun is more account than dog. |
A dog is the meanest thing ever seen.
He says, what will the hogs care for
a gum Sir which would he rather see
coming at him with its mouth open, a
dog or bullet. He says s'guns goes
off sometimes" So does the dogs and
they do a sight of mischief to. say
gun is more use than q dog" (Here
two of the judges go out to play "sock-
ball.") How would our fore-fathers
kill the Injuns if it hadn't been for
guns? Sir, we'd had to had guard
around the school house tonight to keep
the Injuns away if it hadn't been for
guns. Sir, think we've gained the
question, and l appeal to thegood sense
of the judges. III submit the floor for
ADLER speakers"
The next speaker took his place with
considerable embarrassment. He had |
both hands crammed .as far into his
pockets as they would go. He
looked as though he was going to choke
to death. However, by a great effort
he got a start.
Mr.. President and judges,
1 git up here before to say something
on this all important question, which
| is the most use, dog or gun, say a
dog is. 1t can ketch rabbits and pos
sums and pole cats. They run things
when they git in the fields. A dog is
the incest thing that is. say dog is
the most use. Not being very well
posted, smit the floor"
The chairman directed one of the
members to waken the remainingj judge
up, as he was creating disturbance by
snoring SO loudly. After shaking him
around for a while, he went out and
played ball during the balance of the
session. . ~ .ea-li, 4at-