Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1871-12-23
How Pat Told the News.

Pat O'Hara, or sOld Harry as we
used TO call him, rstn a small one norSe
wagon. in old mining times, between
Blue Gulch aud Copper City. He was
a Hibernian, pretty well advanced IN
wears. and his two prominent charac-
teristics were--frst, remarkable
volubility, which rendered any commu.
nication with him matter CT time and
patience; aud secondly, his utter ina
bility to do anything correctly, provl-
ded there was any possible way OF
making blunder.
Repeated experiments had demon
strated it to be utterly futile to at
tempt to send any verbal message by
Pat, as witness the following example:
Major Fitzgerald had died OF pleuri-
sy fever, and as Pat was just starting
for the Gulch, message was given
him to deliver to the Majors friends
there, that "when nearly well OF the
| pleurisy he was taken with something
of relapse, aud dropped OIL very sud
denly"
Arrived at the Guleh, almost the
first man Pat met was the Majors
brother-in-law, who, having heard of
his illness, was of course anxious to
know how be did.
"Well, Pat, what's the news from
the city-how is the Major"
'sTop o. the mornin,' yer amer.
Sure, it's bad luck often brings good
luck, an it's good luck / have OF matin'
yer amer, for regardin' the Major, sure
I've a message consuming him for yer
self, as was towld me not three hours
ago. list forrlinst Phil Manigan's she
been up to Copper City by the Majors
friend, the gossoon as smashed me dud-
heen last Chrstmast mOrnin,' wild a
lick from "a"
"Well, well, no matter about all
that. What's the word about the
Major~
@Sure, it's only good word l ever
like to say, yer amer, of Fitzgerald,
one of the owldest families of the ovid
country and through tire OHara's
themselves has nothin to boast OF, yen
spake well of the pipers if yer fathers
fiddler and by that same token dc
yer mind, consuming the message I'm
deliverin' to yer amer, sure Jack Ma
,, gan, him wild wan eye, as fddles az
to the city. and for the matter o fhatl
, cover the buckle himself quite tidy
comes out o the cabin, an Pat, says
he, reminder livery word of the mes
sage. says he, and more betOkens the
"But what is the message " said the
listener, getting impatient.
.Sure, an Pm discoursin' the same
to yer amer, for the gosSoOn, dyer
! mind, as smashed me pipe to smith
Greens. came racin' up to me like mad
az stopped foruinst the cabin IAN
dye know the Maori says he. all out
o wind runnin.' docs a cow know
clover by sight, say l. 'Shure then,
saws he, yer to say an jist thin
caught sight of woman takin' on AN
CRYING in the windy of the house, ant
sure yer honor it's as great a pity t.
see woman cry as goose go bare
feet, and sure it's soniethin' asthray
, thinks IT,
: "Yoe internal bag of wind,' roaret
; the listener out Of all manner OF pa
tience. "what have YOU got to tell IN,
about the Maicrs Speak y
, "Sure is it not spakin' am entire
:, ly, and it's bad words have to spake
= But it's as good to eat the divil as t
4 drink the broth he's billed in, sure; am
a YER amer would listen to the messag
!, like meselt that was all ears like
y jackass whia l heard it, and sorra
= word Of il but"
, What is Z" said the row full
!, aroused auditor, seizing Pat by tt
. throat. "Uut with it, OF I'll strangl
> yol.'
! "Och, murthur! Sure, know We
!, honor won't gor for to-"
8 Eyes, will; what is It =
= "Sure, he told me- en-
: 4Nell, go on,p giving poor Pat
, shake that made his teeth rattle lik
! dice in box.
s'That the Major
. 90 Yes, go on.'
$ "Was most well of the fearis,
= and"
:. And--and-and what 7" with al
! shake that made Pats teeth chatter.
. "AR was taken in somebody's lal
> and dropped off very slovenly,p sal
a Pat desperately, San that's arl!'
r. A correspondent of New York p
h per relates touching instance or u
p sect instinct as follows: ~ found