The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-03-25
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The ring-leader of the ku klux clan Of Vir'
ginia has been captured, as the following from
Richmond paper shows
A panther. deeply imbued with lawiess ana
abominable kU-klux principles, has pceh ranging
the plantations around Lynchburg, va 1Sr some
time past, and terribly harassins tho ooio'eo
population. A fortunate shot from huh'suian
rife, one day last week. averted the necessary
for putting the state under 'har'''' law ""u
passing another reconstruction ScV.
A woman in New York tried carbolic acid as
a substitute for whisky, in milk punch. 1t
didn't work satisfactorily. For such purpose
carboli. acid is diabolic failure. That was the
opinion of the coroners jury.
As another reason why Georgia should be put
under martial law, we quote the following from
a "rebel Sheet"
A Georgia colored debating society was lately
discussinE (which is the best for laboring men,
to work for wages or part of the cropsI" An
old "uncle" spoke the sense of the meeting when
he thought, 'bofe was de best, if dey could only
be brung togedier somehow"
The Lacon Homo Journal has discovered a new
breed of pigs. They are not rooters, because
L.
they put down their noses to root they flop heels
over head, in scientific summersault."
The editor of the Journal has been solicited to
try patent ''aussing' invention. He insists
that he prefers the cold way"
Some music teacher once wrote that the cart
of PLAYING violin required the incest percep-
ton and the most sense of any art in the known
uyhi oh an ed
art of publishing a newspaper, and making it
pay, and at the same time making it please
everybody, beats fddhng higher than kite"
The women of ST. Joseph do not tolerate any
Infringement on their rights. An exchange
says:
A spirited wife in St. Joseph shot her husband
through the srmt recently, because he promised
to buy her silk dress wich four foot trail,
and didn't.
The rapid manner in which Kansas is being
settled up, GAIA be judged by the following from
the Quincy (Ill) Herald:
~. P. Brace. wife aud tsoenty-ni,te boys were
ut tho Sherman House yesterday. They came
from New York, and are on their way to Kansas
for the purpose Of taking up all the government
land out there"
The Woodstock Sentinel, in an innocent way,
remarks:
The happy couple who sent US r wedding
cake with request to 'pleass insert" is assured
that such articles are never crowded out by a
press of other matter.
When will people learn the fearful conse.
quences of using tobacco! An exchange gives
an account Of the death Of another of its victims
"A poor girl, Mary Jones, who died in Virginia
at the tender age of 1GS. She was an "orphant"
likewise.
4 newspaper defines the very worst kind of
conundrums to be-''riddling with cannon shot"
People have been killed by such careless
conundrums!
An eastern paper says, "a good father in Yer
mont offers his farm to any one who will marry
his daughter
We'd do it, but the farm is mortgaged, and
the girl is cross.eyed, shutters, has red head
and isn't divorced from her 18th husband as yet.
The editor of the Henry Republican,, who, it
would seem, ''pasturea" his COW around the
streets, is disguised with the farmers. The
editor says:
Can't our farmer friends pnt better quality
of hay in their wagons VIXEN they come TO town
Straw and second class hay don't always agree
with the refined stomachs Of our town cows.
The editor of the Saugatuck Commercial
"thanks the friend VINO laid dozen eggs on his
table"
That friends name must have been Henuery.
Clinton Register.
Eggs-actly!
A physician in Seneca pre,cribes soothing
syrup for the agse.-Clinton Register.
There Doctor Now you begin to reap the
benefit OF cur notice Of you couple of weeks
ago!
The LsSsle Press humorously does vomsn's
suffrage item
The first campaign song O: the women's suf-
frage movement has just appeared, having
received its initial performance on SATURDAY.
last, In the Cook county womeu's suffrage Goa.
vention, held in Chicago. Ia imitation OF some
similar efforts of the muses. during the war tho
song triumphantly declares:
were coming, Uacle Samuel with fifteen millions more
and these advancing Fifteen millions" Of females
right vaiantly further avow:
nWsy our i.h and patien:e a.d all that v. old Gear
upon our connuys altar without single fear"
Don't please. That's altogether too urea. =,
sacrifice Besides, how funny Our sountrys
altar would appear under the burden!
A Chicago business house reoen,lv recs;vsa
the following poctict c'fasion recommending a
drais from country customer:
Mr. T.,
A draft for thee
On the Trader National