davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20

THE SQUIRE's INDIGESTION. - Old
Squire H was very successful and
substantial farmer in an interior town
in Massachusetts, and more amazing
eater never lived in any town anywhere.
And especially much did he eat when
fresh pork was to be his nourishment.
Well, at a certain time, one of his hogs
had been killed. The next morning
there was fresh pork for breakfast, and
the old man ate most wondrously. In
the course of the forenoon he ate his
luncheon, consisting of bread and but
ter, mince-pie, and cheese. At noon his
dinner consisted of fresh pork, pickles,
mince-pie, and the usual accompani-
ments. His afternoon luncheon was
like that of the forenoon. When he
came homo to supper, his favorite dish
had not been prepared as part of that
meal. The old man fretted and scolded
till fresh pork was added to the sub
stantials. He ate voraciously as usual
In the evening he toasted some cheese,
buttered and ate it. Just before going
to bed he roasted couple of apples
and ate them. In the night he was
taken with severe collie. The doctor
was with him till morning, and nearly
wrought miracle in the old mans life.
The next day, Bolles w., one of his
neighbors, went in to condole with the
old Squire on his illness. "Faithful
Bolles," said the old worthy, "I liked to
have died last night. I'll never eat an
other roast apple as long as I live.
never did love them very well, and last
night 1 ate only two, and they nearly
killed me-"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20

NEGLECTED CoUGHs AND CoLDs.-Few are
aware of the importance of checking Cough
or "Common Cold" in its first stage; that
which in the beginning would yield to mild
remedy, if neglected, soon preys upon the
Lungs. Bro,ons Bronchial Troches," OF
CoUGH LozENGEs, afford instant relief
Owing to the good reputation snd populari.
ty of the Troches, many aoOrthleSS and cheap
limitations are offered, aohieh are good for moth,
ing. BE sure to OBTAIN the true Brown's
Bronchial TrocheS." Sold everywhere.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
Broom Corn Serenaders.

They have many curious ways in
Tennessee and enjoy themselves in styles
that seem strange enough to us, but the
town of jackson, in that State, takes the
lead for singularity of social customs.
One of these is described in Southern
exchange. 1t seems that the Jackson
ians have society of young men called
the Broom Corn Serenaders. They array
themselves in calico or homespun dress,
and by moonlight call upon such young
ladies as are known to be averse to do
mestic work, quietly sweep out the
porch gallery, hall, &C., to appropriate
music, and then retire, carrying their
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
TIE DISGUISED DRAINS. falsely call

TIE DISGUISED DRAINS falsely called
medicines, sold in bar-rooms as "tonics"
and stomachics have nothing in COM
TIERS. That famous invigorant does not
owe its stim ulating properties to fiery
and adulterated Alcohol, but to medici-
nal roots and herbs never heretofore
combined. The effect of the Bitters in
cases of constitutional debility, chronic
indigestion, liver complaint, and all dis
eases tending to consumption, is so mar
vellous that except to those who have
felt or witnessed it, the result seems in
credible.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20

DON'T BE DIsooURAGED.-A crow,
ready to die with thirst, flew with joy to
a pitcher which he saw at distance.
But when he came up to it, he found the
water so low, that with all his stopping
and straining he was unable to reach it.
Thereupon he tried to break the pitcher,
then to overturn it but his strength was
not sufficient to do either. At last, see
ing some small pebbles at hand, he
dropped a great many of them, one by
one, into the pitcher, and so raised the
water to the brim, and quenched his
thirst. Skill and patience will succeed
where force fails; necessity is the mother
of invention.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
New York Markets.

FLOUR AND MEAL.-The market for flour was not
active, but superfine. and low extras were frmer,
WE'RE we're Gr, da but fn B Southern -four is quiet and
firm Rye -four and corn meal gpsles ss We a. quot, i,,
an9 STATE sbppn@ he eSrs I S
and Ohio do, $3.50 $685. Western spring wheat
double srs DO winter tv SnS %aGas estTs
extras, 81 $685. Southern shipping extras, 80 80 a
s725 do bakers and family brands $50 @ 80 ;s 2S
Western and Brandywine.
GRoCERIEs.-There is nothing new in coffee and
rice. Molasses more active for foreign; New or.
leans quiet at 45 q 70o.; sales Of Cuba Muscavado at
81 36c. Sugar-Raw dull and heavy at 9a9hc. for
fair baT TO gooa or rebRRg Mbgg ned dp az T
GRAN.-wheat firmer and active sales at 1854
SLIGO for No spring in store and atioat and si6l
red Western 81 for Dieh Genesse 81 so for white
California. oats in better demand sales at 20 I2c
for Ohio and State white in store and a0at CSC Tor
Western in store and SOC. for Jersey. Barley-twO
rowed state at soc Rye dull and M nominal; non Corn
ern mixed on the track and in store sic for south.
ern yellow, and s3c. Tor yellow Western.
sUNDRns.-strained.. rosin dull and nominal.
Spirits tuIpentne dull at 51h SIC. for merchant.
able. Petroleum firm at 23alc. for refined on the
spot, and 13Hc for ci ude in buk Whiskey steady ;
Freights easier; 5000 bushels wheat by steam to
Liverpool at 6d.
PRovIsIoNs.-Perk was active, but rather easier;
small lots at S2 for mess. and $40 for prime mess
Beef quiet and unchanged, Beef hams quiet. Ba-
con dull and nominal Cut meats are rather weak
small business IN plcRIeu nalnS a1 IL loTC'
Dressed hogs dull at So 9kc. Lard on the spot
dull at 12c. for prime Western steam. Butter
steady at 80 43c FOR new. Cheese dull mt 10 iGc.
Eggs lower mt 16 q 1Sc.
CoTToN.-The market on the spot was weak, and
fairly actlve sales at l5kc for middling uplands,
and lie for Low middling. For future delivery
there was small business done, and prices are un-
changed.
LIVE STOCK MARKRT.--A few extra Ohio steers
from the best drove market were sold at 15c per
pound, but 15c was the outside price for strictly
prime steers, and IL a 15c. the extreme range for
Western steers-a few common State cattle going
below 12c.
The market for sheep was dull and the sales lin
tied. Medium to choice unshOrn sheep were sold at
Ga she. T. ib two cars of good sheared at &C..
three cars of ordinary do holCing at SAC; one cal
choice do. at &C., and thin do at 5 u 5hc.
Hogs continue dull at 6B n nc. " ID alive, and
Sa4 9l9c u ID dressed.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20

Oppression after eating, headache,
nervous debility, are the effects Of indi-
gestion. One, OF two at most, of Par
sons I'urgatice Pills will give immediate
relief.
J0hnS0ns An0dyne Linin1ent may be ad-
ministered to children with perfect sue
cess, in cases of Group, whooping cough,
influenza, and almost any of the diseases
to which they are liable.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20

The Woman's Journal sensibly says: :
The world does not want women who
are good lawyers and bad mothers
clever physicians and unfaithful wives
-clear-headed and empty hearted-for
not from these shall come completed
womanhood."
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
Josh Billings ON Horns.
DINNER HORN.

This Is the oldest and most sakred
there is. 1t IL set to musk, and plays
"Home Sweet Home," about noon. 1t
has bin listened tew with more raptur-
GUS delite than even Graffula's gong. 1t
will arrest a man and bring him quicker
than Sheriff's warrent. 1t kauses the
deaf to hear, and the dumb to shout for
Joy. Glorious old instrument long may
yure lungs last
RAMS HORN.
A spiral root, that emerges suddenly
from the figure he'd of the maskuline
sheep, and ramifes until it reaches tip
end. Rams horns are always sure
sign ov battel. They are used tew butt
with, but without eny respekt to per-
sons. They will attack o stun wall or
deakon of an established church. A
story is told ov old deaken Fletcher
ov Konnektikutt State, who was digging
post holes in a ram pasture on hiz
farm, and the moshun ov hiz boldly was
looked upon by the old ram, who fed in
the lot, as banter for fight.
Without Arranging emmy terms for
the fight, the ram went incontinently
for the deakon, and took him the first
shot on the blind side hiz of body, just
about the meridian.
The blow transposed the deakon sum
eighteen feet with heels-over-head mo-
shun.
Exhasperated tew point at lest ten
foot beyond endurance, the deakon
jumped up and skreemed his whole voice
= Il 'yu id old cuss,' and then
all at once remembering that he wuz a
good, pious deakon, he apologized by
saying that il, if I may be allowed
the expresshun."
The deakon haz mi entire sympathy
for the remarks made tew the ram.
wHIsKEY HORN.
This horn varys in length, from three
to six inches il the favorite size.
1t il different from other horns, being
ov fluid natur.
1t il really more pugnashus than the
ram horn six inches ov it will knock
man perfectly calm. .....
When it knocks man down it holds
him thare. .. ......
1t is either the principal or the seek
ond in most of all the iniquity that is
travelling around.
1t makes brutes ov men, demons of
wimmen, and vagrants of children.
1t has drawn more tears, broken more
hearts and blited more hopes than all
the other agency's of the devil put to-
gether.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
ADVERTISER gRTS.

l. MENT, for Walks, FiOO,S, ROad,OdyS Vault
Cogers ETC. send for Circular, giving full directions
With The above cement that ia cheay ny dyross
smooth, and not injured by water, frost heat Ad
uress ~ w. RANNEY. 4i0 w I'D ST, New York.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20


mer'e s''N'f'
vinegar Bittcrs arc not q vile Fancy Drink.
Made Of Poor Rum, Whiskey, Proof Spirits
and Refuse Liquors doctored, spiced and sweet
cacd to please the taste, called "Tonics," "Appe-
Restorers," &C., that lead the tipper on to
drunkenness and ruin, but are true Medicine made
from the Native Roots and Herbs OF California,
free from oil Alcoholic Stimulunts. They are
Uc GREAT BLOOD PURIElEk and A
LIFE GIVING PRINCIPLE, perfect lseno-
yator and Invgorator ofthe System, carrying of all
poisonous matter and restoring the blood to ahcalthy
condition. No person take these Bitters accord
ing to directions and remain long unwell, provided
their bones are not destroyed by mineral poison or
other MEANS and the vital organs wasted beyondth
point ofrepair.
They are n Gentle Purqntive rs well as n
Tonic, possessing also the peculiar merit of acting
as powerful agent in relieving Con gestion or inflsm
i II. 10, ,, yiaeorn, oono
hutloll vi tnc llNel, anu M @ aii .,Io N ' " ,
FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether IN
vounp or oId married. or single Mt the dawn of wo-
80 !,, w -. 49, 80. GO az ,,,.o 1r,,,o pI,tora
Inahhoou vi d" '"0 '"i" Vi iiie' 's'o A ~
have no equal.
Tor InilummatOry md Chronic Rheumu-
49,, ,,J f,ou. ny.n,ns;, M J,d;ocstiou
-. ~ , , I..... r.,
lsiIious, RcMittcnt ana intermittent rev
crs, Diseases ofthc Blood, Liver, Kidneys
and Biaddcr, these Bittcrs have been most sue
ccssiul. such Diseases are caused by Sftinted
Blood, which Is generally produced by derange-
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
FRAGRANT SAPOLIENE

Cleans Kid Gloves and all kinds of Cloths and
Clothing; removes Paint, Grease Tar, ETC., Instant
ly without the least injury to the finest fabric.
Sold by Druggists and Fancy Goods Dealers. FRA
GRANT SAPO LIENE CO., SO Barclay ST., New
York, 46 La Sale ST., Chicago
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
ALIENS LUNG BALSAM

Is warranted to break up the most troublesome
Cough in an incredibly short time , here is no
remedy that can show moie evidence of real merit
than this Balsam, for curing Consumption CouE hs
('olda A Astlma Croup. &c,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-04-20
RSl5I'ISkNl|' l|'I'ZI3I'I!I|s|iE''

Should be applied for through Edison Brothers,
Patent Attorneys, 5l4 Ninth ST., Washington, d. Q.
To- If we report an invention patentable abate
fee until the patent Is allowed Send for circular.
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
COmmunipaw Cattle Yards.

The stock yards, with the extensive building for storing and selling sheep and hogs, are situated upon that part of New York Bay known as Communipaw. The New Jersey Railroad has track running directly into the yards. There are about eighty yards for the holding and sale of cattle. These yards will hold 10000 cattle, three-story building, 1,OOOx10O feet is calculated to accommodate 10000 sheep and 12,OOO hogs. A connecting abattoir, is 375 feet long, with three wings in the rear, making the width 125 feet, said building being two stories in night. The upper story has four benches for slaughtering hogs, and when all are in operation, about 400 hogs can be killed and dressed per hour, and G. GOO of them can be suspended, at one time, when slaughtered. The lower story is used for slaughtering cattle, 800 of which can be killed per day. Atpresent, 1000 head are killed per week, with an average of about $500 hogs Everything connected with slaughtering is conducted with economy, the blood and offal being for fertilizing material, while the fat is tried out upon the premises. As one of the officers remarked at time when the Government was striving to find out every thing upon which it could lay @ tax.
 "We save everything of the hog, from the snout to the tail-everything but the squeal, and would save that but for the stamp we should have to put upon it. "
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
Rats in Confinement.

Bats dislike captivity so much that they die under it. Five were turned into roughly-made cage, in which they were fed with flies, for which their ap- petite was something wonderful-in their eagerness, they would snap and bite at one another like so many ravenous CUTS. Cooked meat they could not appreciate, but raw beef was more to their taste ; Q circumstance affording their proprietor great relief, since, by attaching a piece of beef to the inside of their box, he was saved the trouble of catching flies for them, and was able to watch them cater for themselves. The meat proved a source of attraction to divers blue bottle flies, to the intense qualification of the captives, who displayed great uuickness in disposing of these visitors. No sooner did an unwilling bottle come within range than he was struck down by pair of bats wings, the for tunate bat falling instantaneously with all it's membranes expanded, covering over it's victim, and securing him by thrusting its head under. When the head came forth again, the membranes immediately closed, and the poor fly was immediately swallowed, wings and allan operation affording several min utes' enjoyment to the performer. They seemed pretty comfortable in their prison, getting quite lively of an eve ming, and regaling the ears of their own- CT with harsh music of their own more curious than pleasing. But in nineteen days every one of them was dead-nor did second party prove longer-ived. ,...s
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
Styles of, Handwriting.

The names on the registers of the Sar- atoga hotels, says the Sdrdtogidn, are quite study By careful attention it will be noticed that on an average, per sons hailing from various sections of the country differ in the style of penmanship. New Workers are the, best penmen j; Philadelphians affect the back-slope 8 good deal; Bostonians write Declaration of Independence hand, not very legible 1; Southerners don't swing so careless 8 quill generally as their northern brethren; Chicagoans apparently try to see how gracefully and unintelligibly they can pen their autographs; while Cincinna- tians and western men generally write a good deal as they build cities, in hurry <; Albanians and Trojans are among the poorest writers, but they excel the West Trojan, whose style is barely above |" hls mark" those from the smaller towns take more pains and separate their letters according to rule, and then spoil their work by flourish or an insane capital, like mile post in their name Cubans and Spaniards write a delicate hand, similar to lady's, but not clear always to the common Yankee perception. Cana dians and Europeans adhere to the old fashioned style, and take it for granted that everybody should know how to make
 "Brown" out of "Smith.
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
Accumulation.

To become fonder of accumulation than of expenditure, is the first step towards wealth. An agriculturist will re- ceive few grains of an improved species of corn, which he will not eat, but will plant them and replant the product from year to year, till his few grains become hundreds of bushels. Money is increas- able by analogous processes, and success is within the power of every man who shall attain to ordinary longevity. If 8 man at the age of twenty years can save Q shilling every working day, and an- nually invest the aggregate at compound legal seven per cent. interest, he will, at the age of seventy, possess $15,OO0. Many men who resort to life insurance can save several times shil- ling daily, and thus accumulate several times the above sum long before the age of seventy. Nearly all large fortunes are the result of such accumulations. Hence the men who amass great fortunes are usually those only who live long. To be in haste to become rich by few great operations is direct road to eventual poverty. We cannot, however, command long life, but we can approxi- mate thereto by commencing early the process of accumulation elongation by extending backward being as effica- cious as an elongation forward. Every hundred expended by man at the age of twenty years, is an expenditure o1 what, at interest, would by compounding it annually, become 15,000, should he live to the age of seventy. This lesson is taught practically by saving banks, and well counteracts the fatal notions of the young, that old age is the period of ac cumulation, and youth the period for ex penditllre.
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
A Young Wife's Experience.

was hurrying around the house this morning, doing up my extra Saturday work as quickly as possible, that might sit down with Henry, who was kept home by the violent storm when sud denly heard Henry call me from the sitting room, found him looking as I had never seen him before, and Aunt Minerva rather dbdshed. Henry drew me down on the lounge by his side, and putting his arm around me, said, "Now, Aunt Minerva, please repeat what you, have just said to me-" She tried to speak, but the words refused to come. She was such pictupe of confusion that I felt really sorry for her. At length, finding that she could not or would not "Annie, Aunt Minerva has been telling me that you are so extravagant in your cooking, and some other ways, that you will soon exhaust my means. And this is not the first time that she has complained of you in this underhanded way. I have never replied, thinking, that she would perceive from my manner that I would not attend to such talk i; but the last time it occurred, I resolved that the next time I would call you in directly" And then, turning to Aunt Minerva, he went on: "Whatever fault you have to find with Annie hereafter must be done in her presence. She and I are both young
 and make no professions of perfection. We are faulty, and are together striving against our defects. But have confi- dence in Annie's judgment, and do not think she will go far astray in house. keeping matters. She may feel that I have the most entire trust in her in every respect, and that will never allow any one to even attempt to prejudice me against her'' At this stage of our first domestic storm, Aunt Minerva summon ed courage to say: 'Wel, l must say you are making 8 great fuss about little matter of advice" Henry replied, cit is not little matter of advice the sad dest case I ever knew of arrangement between husband and wife was brought about by just such interference as yours. I knew of it when quite 8 boy, and the circumstances made very deep impress sion upon my mind. The husband and wife were good people, and truly attach ed to each other but the husband had a sister of whom he was very fond, and he, at length gave heed to her jealous whis- perings in regard to his wife. For many years they were unhappy. A time of reconciliation and better understanding came, and the wife had some years of comparative rest and happiness before her death, dimmed to a great extent, however, by the recollection of the un- deserved misery which she had endured for so many years. Annie cannot, of course, expect to spend life free from trials, but, God helping me, she shall never suffer from want of confidence and love in me- This scene has drawn Henry and myself very near to each other and it has made me very sorry for poor, discontented, short-sighte6 Aunt Minerva. of Health.
Connecticut western news., 1871-08-25
The Persian Famine.

The Bombay Gazette of the 4th ult. con- tained long letter, dated May 16 last, Mr. Monockjee Limjee Attaria, agent of the Managing Committee of the society for ameliorating the condition of poor Zoroastrians in Persia, in which he gives a dreadful account of the sufferings of the from want of food. Among the statements he makes are the follow ing ; In Ispahan public shops are opened for selling camels, ass's, dog's, and cats flesh, and yet from 70 to 80 persons die daily. People go about selling their chil- dren: The Armenian population only live free from privation, they being sup ported by their wealthy brethren in Cal cutta and Batavia. In Kassan and Rome, cities where corn formerly abounded, people have been caught C cutting down children for good" In Khorassan 18,- 900 men had been swept off through hunger and disease, and those who sur vived did not hesitate "to use rake-up corpses for food" In Yezd 12 Zoroas- trians were dying daily for want of food yet but one benevolent Parsee gentleman MT. Nusserwanjee Maneckjee Petit, had, up to the date of the letter, sent 300 ru- pess in 1866, and 1,7OO rupess on the 10th of January, 1870 through the manag- ing committee, and again 200 rupess by telegraph on the 14th of March, 1871. No other contribution, the Parsee agent adds, had been received, and corn distri- button among the Zoroastrians at Yezd had been taken from them by the Mo hammedans. It will be recollected that similar accounts of the sufferings of the Persian population had reached England by telegraph from Teheran, and that they were stated to be gross exaggera
 tions in letter from the Persian Minis ter in England. Sir R. Macdonald Stephenson, to put an end to doubt on the subject has sent telegram to MT. Allison, our Charge, d 'Affaires at Teheran, to ask if the accounts publishedare true, and, if thepopulation are still suffering, what wouldbe the quickest means of affording relief. MT. Allison's reply,
 which so far confirms the statement of the PersianMinister, is asfollows {: ''
 Teheran, July 31 The famine is over, but provisionsare very dear"