The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-03-05

What is that which is SO fragile that If
/ you name it you are sure to break lit
Silence.
A great financial reformer is go devoted
to figures that when he has nothing else to
do he casts up his eyes.
To Lady Railway Travellers For In
formation respecting the last train apply 90
the leading dressmakers.
An old ard-playing dame, when rebnked
for her waste of time, replied, IAN, true,
there is deal of time lost in shutting the
cards."
Aman who stole another mans hat, even
when his name was written on 1t, was let
off on the ground that he was collecting
autographs.
1t was q wise negro who, in speaking Of
the happiness Of married people. s nnh,
deyselves."
An exchange says, g The compositors in
!. San Francisco embrace many ladies'" Inc
comp0sitors in San Francisco ought to be
ashamed of themselves.
A contemporary asks, How is it that
the mouths Of rivers are larger than their
heads I" Nothing ont OF the way IN that,
we know Of persons IN the same hx. !
ssA hen show is.tO be put In operation
soon at Chicago II this is to be- hen
and chicken show, there can be no more
appropriate place for it than Chick-ago.
"Vnl you dake sumding ~ said Ger
man teetotaler to friend, while standing
near tavern. 81 don't care if do" was
the reply. "vell, den, let us dake q walk"
"Now, then, fust boy in 'rithmetic, how
many white beens air there In ten BLACK
"Ten, sir, if you skin 'em," was the cute
reply.
A minister asked tipsy fellow, leaning
up agsinst fence, where he expected to
20 when he died. s'If I can't get along any
better than / do now" he said, l shan't go
anywhere"
A student at veterinary college being
asked, eff ken-winded horse were
brought to you to cure, what would you
advise 81 promptly replied, Z" to sell him as
soon as posslble."
Mucgins said he never tried bark but
= once, and then it was so mixed with bite it
was questionable whether it did him much
good. 1t was recommended by gardener
as a cure for an appetite for other peoples
fruit.
A gentleman who had very deaf SER
want was advised by friend to discharge
her. "No, no." replied the gentleman,
with much good feeling Z" the poor crea-
ture could never hear of another situa-
tion."
A grim, hard-hearted old judge, after
hearing fowery discourse from preten-
tious young lawyer, advised him TO pluck
out some Of the feathers from the wings of
his imagination and put them into the tail
of his judgment.
A politician, in writing letter of condo
-.laanc widow of a country member
.-.s41Sn been HIS friend, says, ~ am pain
cd to hear that - has gone to heaven.
We were bosom friends, but now we shall
never meet again!e
The late Judge C. one day had occasion
yuit whD StutteTed very
much in giving his evidence. 81 believe"
said his iordship, "yoa are very great
rogue" "Not so great rogue as you, my
lord, t-t-t-take me to be-"
A traveller who had crossed the Atlantic
tells q story of o storm where the rain
poured down in such torrents snas Sne
take" said he, "because the captain kept
mark on the side of the vessel"
Water is, in many points of view, sim
eular reflection of periodical literature
For instance, it comes out it in sheets, and
when a sufficient quantity is issued, 1t is
collected into volumes; but how many
sheets of water make a volume, it is diff
cult to say. -
Asick man, slightly convalescing, was
asked by a pious friend who his physician
was. He replied; CDR. Jones brought me
through ,ANo, no." said his friend, God
brought You ont r. Illness d;e sn not the
DOCTOR "Well, Inaype no uiu, Du' rlu
certain the doctor will charge me for it."
"Cuffee, what do you tink de NOSE use
full OBJ de planets, de sun or de moon ~
"Well, sambo, tink de moon orter take
de fust rank in dat ar 'tickler." "Why you
tink 80, Cuffee7" "Well, tell you-kase
she shines In de night, when we want light,
and de sun shines by day, when we DON'T
A man in Buffalo pulled off his coat and
jumped in the canal TO save woman from
drowning, when q pickpocket stole his
pocket-book from the coat, and the woman
swore at him for pulling her hair in his
efforts to save her life. There isn't much
inducement in Buffalo for man to act as
retriever
An old topper, who had attended the Poly.
technic, where the learned professor caused
several explosions to take place from gases
produced by water, said, You don't catch
me putting water in my liquor after this
1 had no idea before that water was SC
dangerous, though 1 never liked to take