The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-04-07
Wit and HumOr.

THE Herald says Boston is going to
torture Miss Nilsson with midnight
procession. Let them torch her.
A YOUNG lady, being asked to play the
" Maiden's Prayer" cheerfully struck
up, " Mother, may | 60 out to swimY
JONES and his wife agree grandly on
one point she thinks more of him than
of any body else in the world, and so
does he.
WHAT have you to remark, madame,
about my singing?" said gentleman to
a lady. Nothing, sir" replied the
lady; " it is not remarkable"
OF the naked figure of Achilles, in
Hyde Park, Rogers said: tits strange
that he who made so many breaches in
Troy, should be without a pair for him
SELF"
But these hacks are dangerous. We
might get the small pox." You've no
cause to be afraid of my coach, mum,
for I've 'ad the hind wheel vaccnated,
and it took beautiful"
PUNCH has the following: A capital
answer: Self-made man, examining
school, of which he is the manager
Now, boy, what's the capital of COL
land ?" Boy" An II, SIR
In proof that all who belong to Sc
cret societies are not wide awake chaps,
it is put down for fact that when you
come across a sleepy head, he is'a nod
fellow.
"HAvE you Blasted Hopes p asked
lady of green librarian, whose face was
much swollen by toothache. mo,
ma am" he replied, but have blast
ed toothache."
An entertaining farmer, always on the
lookout for information regarding his
profession, seeing work advertised un-
der the title of Rain on the Mown
Grass" sent for it, and found it was a
volume of sermons.
"LooKEE here, mister, | amt COM
plainn' but this ere moosic stool you
sold to my wife, we've twisted it roun'
till we've twisted off un's cad, an
not ha'porth O toon can we get out of
'un."
HALLoA! Bob, how are you ?" Bob,
who had been in jail for debt for some
months past, answered: " Very well,
thank you but have been in trouble,
you know" What trouble allied your"
"A troubled past in durance."
AS companion to the song, "Oh,
give me back but yesterday melody
will soon be issued entitled, ooh,
could you spare tomorrow p which will
be followed by " You haven't got such
thing as next week about you, have
your
DR.. ENGEL, the Berlin statistician, has
published small pamphlet, in which
he tries to refute the belief that emf
grafton from Germany will assume this
spring and summer unusually large pro-
portions. He predicts, on the contrary,
that it will be smaller than for many
years past.
A GYMNAsTIC youth boosted the other
day that he received especial training
daily at his home from the famous
Brooklyn gymnast, Mr.. Burnham. A
wag who overheard the innocent, thus
extinguished him: " wonder much
that Burnham would come to such q
Ounce inanc.n
AN old lady, slightly blind, while en-
gagged in a futile attempt to sew buttons
on young Augustus new jacket re-
marked: " Drat these buttons | can't
find the holes, and they split all to
pieces every time | stick the needle
into EN- To which replied young
Augustus Now, look ere. Granny
you just let my peppermint drops
alone. You've split mora half Of 'em
already"
THE streets of New Orleans were
covered on Thursday morning of last
week with a yellow powder resembling
sulphur, which somewhat alarmed the
superstitious. The city papers explain
that the powder was nothing more than
the pollen Of the flowers of trees of the
forest, all now in full bloom, and which,
especially under the influence of high
wind, become diffuscd in the upper re-
! gions and was borne down by the rain.
EVANSVILLE is noted for its smart boys.
! The latest story is told of youth Of six
summers, who was taken TO task by his
aunt for some supposed Offense, which
he persistently denied. "Now, Johnnie"
said she, know you are not telling
me the truth see it in your eye"
! Pulling down the lower lid of the or
gan, which had well-nigh betrayed his
veracity, Johnnie exultantly replied
"You can't tell anything about it,
aunt; that eye always was little
streaked.'