Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1871-03-02
Cold In the Head.

THE VIEWS OF "JoHN PAUL" THEREON.
IF any mistakes are visible in the pres
erlt writing, attribute them to my having
asbaa cold. No man alive can spell cor
rectly or use good grammer, with bad
cold-especially if it be cold in the head.
The French waitress, Bridget OKeefe,
spoke to me about it this morning at
breakfast uous aces an rhatnae, she said.
No one remarked that my rhunse was bet
ter than my company, but l felt in my
heart that both were bad enough to stand
on their own demerits. One cannot be
cheerful with a cold in the head; the
human soul is not disposed to burst forth
in song under such conditions. And the
worst of 1t is one gets no sympathy from
ones friends. You go round with red,
swollen nose, and swollen red eyes.
Halo, Johnl What's the matter" halls
the first fellow, well met. /" A bad cold"
you reply. 40, Is that all?'' with a sigh
ofrelief' The fact is, you feel that you
are as much to be pitted as though you
affiiction as lightly as though it were that
you'd only lost you mother-in-law. Then
the remedies that are suggested for me to
tryl "Steam your head" said my aunt.
So was persuaded to hold my head over
bowl of blazing hot water, till it was
done through like an early potato. l am
now regarded as her 'steemed nephew and
it is thought she may leave me something
in her will. As she never tries her own
remedies, however, an early succession
to the property does not Seem prob
able. Bathing, in all its forms has been
recommended to me; for more than a
week past have been night companion
of the bath, but it seems to do little good.
stuff aeeld has passed into a sort of
proverb; but my head, at present, is
stopped up enough-too much to be made
available for any practical purpose. I've
taken sage advice and sage tea in enor-
nous quantities, but with no perceptible
benefit. Hot Scotch whisky, with little
hot water, and slight mingling of lemon
peel init, was urged upon me by friend,
who kindly consented to drop in and help
me take it. l assisted him home at late
hour of the night. and his wife demanded
at the door, IN an nngry tone, what had
been doing to her husband. That didn't
do my cold much good. Since then gin
and molasses has been suggested as SOW
ereign remedy for all the chills which flesh
is heir to but turn an emphatically cold
shoulder on all which savors of spirits.
My mother writes from the interior OF
Maine to say that had better come up
there and be "nursed." think I'll go.
There must be about a bushel of boneset,
to say nothing about other herbs, about
the house-wisps of medical weeds, long
stored up against family emergencies.
Since the children grew up and went
away from home, there has been no one to
ply with teas and syrups of traditional
has still gone ON with unfailing regularity
IVs-r in6tc r,lucalf
up there alone, to draw the fire of those
accumulated teas. No, rather let me, to
the refusal of further remedies, sit in my
city chair, like patient on monument
smiling at relief -
: How did catch my cold, you ask. All
! there's the rub-thence the series of rubs
A party of girls persuaded me to go and
| skate. Before venturing upon the ice, al
aged guardian of that public place, who
stood with, a frozen look, in frieZe coat
| shivering on the bank, admonished us tt
| g look out for that ere holer' Somehow
| I contrived to skate into that ir-hole
They fished me out with poles; if you
want to know just how cold the poles are
break through the ice once and be fisheC
out with them. They rolled me on ;
barrel to restore me, under the impression
seemingly, that the vital organ is barre
organ. They put bricks to my feet
women would always see to it that thei
idols stand thus on baked clay, it would b.
better. There were few things, indeed
that the bystanders did not do for me
except the right thing. One unbuttonet
my shirt-collar, to relieve me, he said
another attempted to empty my pockets
to relieve me, 1 suppose. A Newfoundland
dog was playing on the bank when l fel
in. Strange to say, he did not rush to m
rescue while struggling in the water, bu
he went for me Immediately l got o.
|tshore.. 1t may have been generous of hin
to refrain from attacking me till / got o.
dry land, but my faith in the humane in
lstincts of that noble animal is sadl
shaken. Had I been a bone, I've NJ
doubt that Nero would have rescued an
brought me to the shore. Well, to max
a long story short, I am safe at home now
and firm in my resolve to go skating N
more myself, and to let the girls slide.-
Eoery Saturday. - ,------