Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-22
CURRENT ITEMS.


A New YORK man has attempted sui
eide four or five times He cuts his
throat from year to year, but never sue
Ceeds.
To remove grease spots from silks and
velvet-place red hot iron upon the
part; 1t will take them out directly.
LITTLE Dicks mother asked him what
kind of nuts she should buy for him +:
"Doughnuts, mamma; me can crack 'em
with my toofs."
ENRAeED PARENT-"Did you throw
the half-brick at random?' Weeping
Boy-"No; threw it at johnny Will
liams." "And did you strike him on
purposef" "No; struck him on the
nose"
"YoU don't think SO highly of the
hymeneal knot as l do" said wife to
her husband. "Yes, / do" he replied;
=" 1t is only when you wish to make il a
double beau knot that object to it."
AN Irishman, fresh from the Emerald
Isle, upon seeing horse running away,
exclaimed, "Oh, he isn't running very
fast I've seen horse run so fast you
couldn't see him"
AS q man was burying his wife, he said
to his friend, in the graveyard: ALAS !
you feel happier than l" Yes, neigh
bor," said the friend 81 ought to feel
happier, have two wives buried here!'
q. "A NEW HAVEN plumber has on his
sign, Cast iron sinks, all Sizes" An
intoxicated individual, in passing, man
aged to spell the words out, and turning
on his heel, said, Well, who (hic) says it
doesn't ?"
A CURRENT paragraph asserts that
many years ago Horace Greeley wrote to
fnna ln rt1 gti In,. 30
abstain from further poetry. A council
of friends inspected the letter, and finally
pronounced it an offer of marriage
Hence Mrs. Greeley and the junior Gree
leys.
A GENTLEMAN who was recently mar
ried engaged special car for himself and
bride, beautifully fitted up inside, and di-
vided into bedroom, drawing-room and
kitchen, which was to be attached to
every train, as they iourneyed on their
way, en- route for San Francisco.
"GRAoIE, don't you think Mr. Winkins
is handsome MANI" "Oh, no; can't
endure his LONELINESS" "Well, he's a
lucky man, anyway An old uncle has
just died and left him half million of
dollars" "You don't say so! Come to
think, there is a certain noble air about
him, and he has fine eyes-that can't be
ue0leu.
A WESTERN man, while absent from
home, was taken dangerously sick. He
sent for his wife to come at once and
care for him. Now, the wife's mother
was sick, too, and she sent this dispatch
to her languishing husband: Dear Tim,
mother is sick, can't leave her Do the
best you can. If you die, send your body
home"
THIS is how New London drunkard
put on his hat when the wind blew it in
the gutter: He knelt down slowly, like q
superanuated camel, and inserted his head
into it, pressed it firmly down with his
head against the curbing, and then arose
with sort of ridiculous majesty, and
the broad smile of big success parting hi:
lips.
A LARGE surprise party at Bridgeport
Conn.,, the other night, carried with them
an unlimited quantity of provisions, ex
pecting to have a fine supper but the
lady surprised supposed the affair to be
sort of donation visit, and very coolly
deposited the good things in the pantry
The party waited until the pangs of hun
ger drove them incontinently away.
NOBODY was ever killed by warming hi.
house little too early in the fall, bu
many persons catch cold, and the grave
ailments following it, by deferring toe
long after the weather becomes chilly, tC
light their fires. There should be "a gooC
thermometer, marked with the degrees O
Fahrenheirs scale on one side and of the
better and simpler Centigrade scale on the
other, in every sitting-room. Whenever
the morning temperature of room falls
below 81 Fahrenheit (19o Cent? Il fire
should be lighted on the hearth or in the
furnace.
FEEDING STRAw-Straw, if properly
managed. can be made to serve a more
profitable purpose than mere littering, o.
to add bulk to the manure pile. In Eng
land, and amongst the English farmers il
Canada, most of the bullocks are fed anC
fattened on straw, with roots and meal
No hay is used, that being kept for tn
horses. Thus larger number of stool
can be fed. Straw cut, wetted and sprin
killed. with ground feed or oil-meal, will
carry cattle very well through the winter
oat, barley, rye, and wheat straw are pro
pOrtionately valuable in the order il
which they are placed Pea-straw is NOR
valuable than oatstraw.-HeaiM Gn
Home.
ILLUSTRATIVE of the ups and downs 0
this life in general and politics in partiC
ular, ThurlOw Weed tells how some Ney
Workers raised fund to defeat FillmOr
in 1856, which was given to him for 'ju
dicious distribution" He placed so, 90
in bank to the credit of his partner, to b
drawn out as it was needed. A few day
after the latter dropped dead in tn
street. The bank paid over the money
in due process of law, to the widow.
year or two passed, and Mr.. Fillmore me
and married the widow-and the $4,000
Poison FROM LEAD WRAPPERS .-Thre
children in st. Louis, having displaye
symptoms of poisoning soon after eatin
Limburger cheese, led to an examination
II was discovered that the cheese did COZ
tain poison but impaired by the wrappe
in which it is always prepared for market
The cheese in itself is innoXious, but it
enveloped in lead-foil wrappers, whic
are harmless until they come in contaC
with liquid which will act upon them a
dissolvent, in which case the liquid bC
comes poisonous by taking up the leat
The decomposition of this cheese ha
produced very strong acid, which cam
in contact with the poisonous wrapper
and then spread throughout the cheese
thus poisoning the whole cake.
MANY of our readers have doubles
heard of the famous travelling stones O
Australia. Similar curiosities have re
Gently been found in Nevada, which ar
described as almost perfectly round, tn
:. majority of them as largeas a walnut, ant
of an irony nature. When distribute,
about upon the floor, table or other levc
surface, within two or three feet of eacI
other, they Immediately begin traveini
toward common center, and there hud
: die up in bunch like lot of eggs in
nest. A single stone removed to dis
/; tance of three and half feet, upon beiny
Released at once started off with wondar
full and somewhat comical celebrity, Il
join its fellows taken away four or fiv
feet it remains motionless. They ar
found in a region that is comparativel,
level, and is nothing but a bare rock
Scattered over this barren region are lit
tie basins, from few feet to rod or two
in diameter, and it is in these that tn,