Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1871-03-10
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arbe next thing in order IS debate.
.,vs the chair. ,Read the questions
o. E-,n5,11. (Which is the most use. a
Dog or Gun
The chair appointed three JUDGES
and called the FIRST speaker. VINO cs-lliS -5
up with considerable brass, ana oPeAeo
the debate after his style.
'shfr. President most honoraDle Juog-
es and fellow citizens
come before you tonight % expau-
ate upon this most important question:
II aD1ears to me that am on the dog
side aa9E1v SIR I say a dog is more use
than 4 gun, for You can drive the hogs
out Of the corn6eld with dog, and Ide
ike to know what the hogs would care
for your gun. How would you fight
battles without guns say dog IS
more use than a gun. Guns goes on
and kills people some times, and dogs
don't. Dogs win do most anything you
want .em to, while a gun amt no ac-
count unless you are along with e
Now sir. | think we have gained the
question, and I'll submit the hoor."
The next speaker came up full Of con
fdence.
"hlr. President,
My worthy opponent says he gained
the question, but / say he didn't
say a gun is more account than a dog.
A dog IS the meanest thing ever seen.
He says, what viii the hogs care for
gun. Sir which would ne rather see
coming at him with its mouth open. a
dog or a bullet. He says gums goes
of scmetimes." So does the dogs and
they do a sight Of mischief to. say a
gun is more use than a dog. (Here
two Of the judges 60 out to play sock
ball'1 How would our fore-fathers
kill the Injuns If it hadn't been for
guns Sir, we'd had TO had a guard
around the school house to-nighttn 90 keep
the Tniuns away If It hadn't been tor
guns. Sir. I think we've gained the
Question, and appeal to the good sense
rfthe iue3pes. III submit the hOof for
abler speakers.
considerable embarrassment. He had
both hands crammed as far into his
pockets as they woul! 60. He looked
as though he was going to choke to
death. However, by great effort he
got start.
Mr., President and judges,
I got up here before to say something
on this all important question. which IS
the most use, dog or q gun, say
dog is. Il can ketch rabbits and pos
sums and pole cats They run things
when they get in the fields. A dog is
the incest thing that is ] say a dog is
the most use. Not being very wen post
ed. smit the floor"
The chairman directed one Of the
members to waken the remaining judge
up, as he was creating disturbance by
snoring so loudly. After shaking him
around for a while. be went out and
played ball during the balance Of the
session.
The next speaker came to the scratch
full Of confidence, as he had been out
and made It all right with the judges.
''dr. President, and most honorable
judges,
The last gentleman on the floor thinks
he played smash We think so to.
There wasn't anything in his speech at
all. The people can see this for them
selves, and will give us the question.
Now if a big booger was to get after you,
Mr.. President. which would you rather
have. dog or a gun. Sir, Ide rather
have a gun. How could we kill crows,
and squirrels, and things If il wasn't for
a gun. You can shoot with gun but
you cant with dog, cause they wasn't
made to shoot with. He said a dog
was the incest thing that IS. don't care
II it is, a gun is heap nicer, say a |
gun IS a heap better than any dog.
Now sir, I'm willing to leave it to the /
judges. and / suTnit the floor.
The President raped on the window
and called the judges in from the play |
ground. One Of them inquired Of the |
others which side they had promised to |
give il te, but all had forgotten.
Wen now hear your decision, says
Ike.
eThe dog has it. answered the fore
man.
I'm on the gun side, and you prom
ised to give It to me, says Bob Brier.
"FIold on. says the foreman, we
mean the gun has it. cause that side
made the most good arguments.
move we debate Mater and Art,
next night. says Dayton. without rising
to his feet.
II move that Dayton be fined cause
he didn't rise to his feet TO malcesshis mo-
ton, says Billy Bite.
Dayton was fined one cent, and Mater
and Art vas selected as the next ques-
ton for discussion.