Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1871-07-14

Long Island Sound fishermen are c-az
about the new oyster-bed, and rush by hun
dreds to 'oist her from her little bed.
Two young ladies of Chicago last weel
laid wager that neither could absorb fiv,
grains of morphine. 1t was draw bet, anC
the funerals took place the same day
Probably one of the highest rates eve,
paid for contributor was Punch's payment
of fire pounds for the celebrated line:
'PHnch's advice to people about to marry
don't
One of the new uses to which sponge i.
being put is that of pads to be placed under
stair CARPETS, as well as underneath those in
parlOrs, bedrooms, etc. Heretofore, cotton
waste or wadding was used for that pur.
pose.
Was the Roman matrOn. whose sons
were jewels, e mother of pearl?' No nv
child the Gracchi were Comedians
4 down South darkey who evidently
'owed one to the chief executive of his
State, has published as his sentiment De
gubenor, he come in wild very little opposi-
ton he go out wild none at all
An official colloquy in Chicago. 4 say,
sergeant, if We dispeIse those crowds Of
loaters on the corners, they'll blackguard US. ,
But if you don't, the respectable citizens'l II
complain On d-n them they don't
shoot
4 collection Of Shakespeare's criticisms
would make very curious volume, but it
would hardly contain an odder example
than that Of the swell who complained that
Hamlet was 'dooeed full Of quotations
\ Virginian owns q dog whose smartness
consists in carrying letters, twice week.
between two points sixteen miles apart. His
owner Just ties the letters to his collar and
tells him to go and he goes.
A girl in St. Louis, who is studying law
and intends to practice, was asked BY an en-
/ vlous lawyer if she was not afraid of losing
her reputation. She replied that it never
occurred to her that lawyers generally had
any reputation to lose
A 'class leader recently asked a scientific
student what profession he intended to fol-
low. Civil engineering, was the reply.
'Well' remarked the class leader sup
pose when a man gets good engine he be-
comes very much attached to it
By the new excise law of Long Island the
wives Of men addicted to drink have the
right to notify saloon keepers not to sell
liquor 70 their husbands and can collect $50
damages for each proved disregard Of such
notice
In the Bank of England vaults there Is at
present gold coin to the value Of Sl22 500
600 in the United States Treasury az New
York S94 600 900 in geld.
Horace Greeley, in his essay on farming.
says that the only way to etccually destroy
widows weeds, which seem 10 thrive in
some kind OF soi. is ij- the husband to say
wilt thou That makes them immediate
ly wilt.
An Indiana paper feels called upon t. re-
quest the youths and maidens in is town
who block up thr sidewalk in front u the
drug stores while they count up their cash
III hand to .soertain if they have a sufficient
amount to purchase enc glass OF slil for
each couple.
One of titchburgs most venerable and re-
sVectei citizens allowed himself u talk TO
freely about the morals of g Fgeuchman
there resident, the other day. The French
man has just ref1rnishei his p5rlor az en- ex-
pcnditurc of $500, and the Old gentleman
hasn't any libel suit on hand.
Ny FIRST love and ny last--so 1ir. s,nea-.
tH str ~ So weak so cCmprehensihIe
"a ttcs' eucirclinE arms; - uncescrihcd
In any thought that shapes thee so divire
80 s1iuy Eentie, that 10 either stret'h
Extreme aud iar-hcst iethsr ofles.-e.
Il i-ds thee still
Willard Young, the Morm0n cadet at
West Point, told IN interviewing reporter
the other day tha, lie has sixteen brothers
and twenty-five sisters. thus one Of the
great questions q the time IS settled thirty
nine children in Brigham family.
\ friend relates the following, \ mile ,r
two from town he met a child on horseback
crying with cold. W hy don't You get down
and lead him? Thst j. the wav 20 keen
t.1Tm.' ~ sad the hOv, .lt's b-b-blr.
rowed horse, and I'll tide him ir / freeze
What have YEA done t, further r-ocr,s-2'
asked Is sarc.imonilus philosopher enc dav
OF jenkins. Jenkins reply was clear and
decisive I've produced seven boys aad two
eilis, -ir. The philosopher departed. and
iJr the first time IN h- liIe-thoucht
IN Athol parent, who was lis,cnIu. where
be had no business 70, the other night was
emitted by the remark Of q pretty gir % his
eldest boy thlt bis pa vss an cid foil for
not letting him marry this year TIE boy
wall go 70 school IN auUiher town for
awhile
An Indiana laIcr says the woman rights
movement IN that vicinity grows arace. Re
centlya fair damsel. disguised with the Off.
broken promise of her brother % break
colt for her, undertook the delicate task her
sell. The following morning she ordered q
new set of teeth OF the dentist.
\ clergyman aeke1 some chilison. ..whv
d. We say, IN the Lords prayer, who art in
heaven, since God is cyerywhere?" lie saw
littie drumme- boy who looked as if he
couii give him an answer. and turned TO him
Tor I; '-well, little soldier what do vcu say ?"
Because its Leadquartcrs."
= dabbler in literature ard the fnc arts.
who pridod himself on his language. came
upon a youngsJer a few days since sitting up-
on the bank OF a river angling for gudge0ns.
and thus addressed him: " Adolescence. art
thou not cndeavoring to entice the finnv
tribe to engulf into their dentieulatsd mouths
barhed hook, upon whose point is affixed
dainty allurement?' "No, said the boy,
''Im a fshia',"
The Weleh paper at Scranton, Penn,
LAS accepted the situation. It's remark that
.' Cylrarfn Cynapledd Ddemocratidd Dalec-
them 100 gloch hedivw' Is conclusive that
everything has turned cut just as We predict
cd.
gentleman from Phiiaeelyhia was recent
ly commencing Young friend to the notice
Of Chicago merchant, and closed his appeal
by saying ''He comes of e very good family;
both his father and grandfather were Eromi-
h. Il -
sponded the merchant, ''that is good, but it is
OF no account with us here. There is less dad
dyism in Chicago than any other place in the
United States.''
tree standing On the land Of Bloomfield
IN. Y y farmer, near division fence, recent
ly blew over upon the territory of neigh
Dor, who cut it up, threw it back, and then
sued HIM for trespAss in allowing the tree to
lie so long. The. defendant, in turn, sued
the plaintiff for trespass in throwing the wood
back, and probably when these two wooden
heads have spent the value of the two fields
on which the tree made trouble, they will
know the beauty of litigation.
We are told that two American ladies',
g with single man companion" recently
made the trip from the sea of 0chotsk,
across Siberia to St. Petersburgh, in sledges
a distance Of seven thousand, miles. We
don't discredit the statement, but believe the
journey could have been as successfully made |
with married man companion.
A nice young man at Portland kept look
ing into the window of a married lady until |
be saw her shake handkerchief, when he |
called at her room. After being nicked up |
at the bottom of the stairs, and having his |
bones set, it was explained that she was only
shaking some apple peelipgs from napkin.
A well known young lady of Northampton,
Massachusetts,, caused some excitement at
hat place in Tuesday of last week, by ap-
pearing on Main street, in her usual elegant
attire, leading a cow. 1t seems that her
grandfather had jokingly promised her his
best cow If she would lead II from his bouse