The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1871-11-10
mtsrellaneOns Selections.
P0TTLETOpS PIPE.

i THAT is a pipe, Sarah" said Mr.
Pottletop, severely. at is my opin
ion that no human being on the face
of this extensive globe but yoursel
would require the assurance that tha
Is pipe. 1t certainly looks like {
lpipe, it unquestionably smells like 8
pipe, and it undoubtedly IS a pipe
"But, sir, begging your parding,
didn't know as misses would allow
you to have a pipe," said Sarah, tax
| ing up her brush.
"She does, Sarah; in fact, it was
she herself who gave it to me yester.
day as birthday present. Before we
were married, l was a great smoker;
but Immediately after that happy
event Mrs. P. cut off my tobacco alb
Isolutely. Yesterday my privileges
were again restored"
"Had she any objeck in it, sir?"
"Object! What do you mean by
objectS I insist upon an instantan-
eous elucidation of that suspicious
remarkr'
Mr.. Pottletop replaced his meer-
chaum on the mantlepiece, folded his
arms, and assumed a most indignant
expression of countenance.
"Nothink, sir. Only ladies do
sometimes have objecks with their
husbands" returned Sarah innocent
ly. "Are you sure misses didn't
ask any favor or promise of you, sirF'
Mr.. Pottletop gasped, and turned
pale. Recovering himself immedi-
ately, however, he rejoined, in a faint
voice:
Nothing at all, Sarah. You may
go aboutyour business, Sarah"
She moved to the door.
"Stop minute, Sarah; 1 want to
ask you a question. What does
your mistress chiefly do while 1 am
down town."
"Well, sir" answered the house
maid, "misses is always in her room
by herself, and l never sees her, sir"
With which she went out.
Mr.. Pottletop dropped into chair,
and put his hand to his head.
81 see it all. False Sophranista,
you have deceived me" he ex-
claimed. "Your restoration of my
privileges was a delusion, your pipe
was a snare! Tobacco! yes. You
allow me plenty of it-cigars and
cheroots, too-and even try to throw
snuff in my eyes! But it won't do!
No, madame! When l, confiding and
deluded victim, yesterday gave you
my promise not to come to dinner
any day before two, little did l
dream there was anything at the
bottom oft! 1 took your pipe and
lit it, and smoked it in peace; to-
day, 1 find 1 was only putting out
my pipe of happiness forever! How
ever, shall see. l shall place my
self on the watch, and discover all.
Beware of me, deceitful female! The
lamb has become a lion, and will
have his vengeancer'
Mr.. Pottletop started up clapped
his hat on, and made his way to the
street. Was he going down town?
Not bit Oft. Mr. Pottletop merely
walked to the corner, slipped around
it, stole to his back gate, sneaked in
to his garden, and hid himself be-
hind the gooseberry- bush. Here he
remained, horribly cramped, a quar-
ter OF an hour. But his patience
was rewarded. Glancing upward,
he beheld pair of long legs dang
ling over his roof, endeavoring to
clasp the rain-spoutl Next the b ody
and head ofa man appeared, who let
himself down, and entered at the
window. There was but one course
for Mr.. Pottletop. He rose, seized
the garden ladder, planted it against
the wall, assembled it, and likewise
entered at the window. But the
room was empty. He ducked ander
the sofa. His Movement was just in
time, for the door opened, and the
stranger with the long legs reap
peared. "Alps safer' he solilo
quised, in a husky, rasping voice,
breathing throughout the apartment
a strong flavor of rum. 81 thought
the governor would never 90. My
ears is corked with SCOT listening
for him down the chimney. Now
for the governors wife"
"The governors wifew groaned
Mr.. Pottletop. 81 knew itr'
"She must a-knowed as 1 was
a-coming by leavin' the window-bolt
open so convenient" continued the
stranger. But there's no keepin' the
movements of fashionable society Sc
cret nowadaysp'
"Knew he was comingr" groaned
Mr.. Pottletop, again. Everything
is confirmed. Some aristocratic vii
lain who has turned her brain"
"Well, now to look for the pretty
|creetur. P'Taps she wouldn't be
glad to see me just yet, nor I to see
her too suddint. I'll reck-anoint-
her a bit"
He crept cautiously out of the
other door, and Mr.. Pottletop as
r