Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-09-08
Generalities.

i, t.,s.aF Generalities. ..,,,g i
--Anns Dickinson cleared $l9.00o
off the wrongs OF her sex last year
--Agassiz believes that whales live
thousand years, and no one can
prove they don't. ain 'gs'J haia b@Hi
"A Western genius is catching
fieas, pulling out their legs, and sell
them for FAX seed. ,t.aseg %
j. Proctor Knott, who sang the
praises of Duluth In Congress, wants
to go to the United States Senate !
from Kentucky. 7aiRW ,ibHtsiD
"A Wisconsin paper mentions q
case where burglars broke into a store
but the goods were marked so high
that they could not get at them, -
l. Our sympathies seldom 60 very
far from home I'm not given to |
weeping over the heathen. but I am
sorry for the King Of Ashantee.o He
has 1881 wives. - -. 1'
I The local editor Of the Lafayette
(Ind.) Courier introduced q quantity
Of carbolie acid into bis bedroom to
drive away the mosquitoes, aud then
went and slept In the, wood~shed. 10
/ "A conceited young parson once
said ''This morning I preached to d
congregation OF asses!'' at thought
OF that" retorted q lady, "when you
called them your beloved brethren y
Jane McCabe of st. Louis, threw
a can of powder into, the stove. She
had got tired of seeing It around,
Her clothes Were made over for her
tsurviving and younger sister soon
after. 'Noo1"fffh
About one hundred FIRST wivesn
In Salt Lake city are eagerly watch.
ing the suit brought by Mrs. Hawk.
Tins, of that place, against her hus-
band for adultery. If she gains 10,
they also are going "pitch in.''7's'
Josh Billings says in. his "Lec-
ter:" Rats originally came from
Norway, and nobody would have
cared If they lad originally staid
there. A lady friend remarks that
they still show their gnawaway ORR
gin" & " ia82aiiEtg
I Somebody once asked Tom coz
win II he had heard certain story
'lof Lews ID. Campbell's. "Was it
about himself?" inquired Mr.. Cor.
win. "No, I believe not" "Well,
then, I never heard it, said Mr..
Corwin gravely.
They will joke In New York
even about the swindles on the city
treasury. One item complained OF is
$4,000 for hatchets, and It is defended
!, on the ground that they they were
Wondered for the purpose of cutting
down excessive appropriationsyaf,4s ,4s,
i AN awkward young man, while
rowing . lady on Irondequoit Bay
few days ago. fell overheard She
pulled him into the skiff by the hair,
put him ashore, and then rowed
rlaway home, leaving him on the
beach 10 dry and to lament the results
of Ills stupidity. u.
An INDECENT widow living near
Lawrence, Mass, was In such, re-
duced circumstances that she, had
but seventeen dogs. "A, policeman
shot nine of them, and now only
eight remain to .bring comfort and
gladness to the poor lorn creatures
heart.
j "A gentleman said to an old lady
who had brought up a family or chill
4 dren near the Merrimack river, "I
should think you would have lived
In constant fear that some OF them
would have got drowned. nil "Oh,
no." responded the old lady, 1--WE
only lost three or four that way.
A rural virginian, while in Rich
mond, the other day. demanded of
an acquaintance what right the
statue Of Henry Clay had In that
'squar and "What bisness had
the Legislator lettiD' it be put thar ?
What had Henry Clay ever done,
that astatue OF him should be made |?
He wasn't Democrat 2" aisgugs0i
A lady living In Lyndon, VT,
who lost her husband In the late war
had An offer for marriage from man
who lost his wife by divorce. She
answered: 1.-THE Lord parted me
and my husband, but your own dew
ilish actions parted you and your
wife; and IL you want another one
you must 60 to the devil for her, for
won't have you." 1'.A i
AT q meeting at Waldon Pond,
Mass, last week, Mr., Wheeler, on
behalf OF the men, said: ''ft Is a
mighty hard thing FOR decent man
to geta good wife;' whereupon sfr.
ID. M. Lawrence and maiden named
Susie responded that good husbands
were as difficult to find as good
wives" Here, you see, Yves dead
lock, totally antagonistic to any
wedlock whatever. sy t 80.
The New York Star says; "The
Davenport, Iowa, printers seized q
circus and menagsrie the other day
for not paying its bills, and now each
editor is the happy owner Of Swim
eauphalus, or Giasticutus, or Hop
popotatimise. or an Alaska Sea Lion.
When subscriber RACES and q man
wants to know who wrote that arti-
cle,' the editor unchains his menAg-
eric and the insulted fellow has D
call to see man. elsewhere. q s3nild'I
1T is asserted that the train boy
who was thrown TO the ground BY
striking his feet against . switch. tar.
get while swinging his body ont lof1
the door Of baggage ear going at
full speed, on the Boaton and Maine
Railroad. was thrown twsnty-llys]
feet before he landed, and then
bounded twenty-five more. by actual
measurement, and this time hit .
fence and knocked of board. The
i
next day he was on duty as lively rs