The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-02-07
A Handy Witness.

NERY adroit was the march that
Y Life Loomis stole on the " Statute
of Limitations" Lie was the factotum
of Guys Neck He did miscellaneous
business as carpenter, cow-doctor, coffin
maker-adding to his other functions,
that OF undertaking to the county poor
house. lie was, withal, an easy, good
natured fellow, free to trust, and a most
indulgent creditor.
Among the others whom Lie had trus-
ted to his cost was Greg Grimes, with
out exception the greatest promise-maker
and breaker in Guys Neck. l verify be-
lieve he would, if possible, have put
creditor off till the Last Judgment, and
then, on the score of being . busy day,
have begged him to wait till tomorrow.
Greg had wheedled Lie with promise
till the latter's claim was outlawed."
Losing patience at last, Lie took his ac-
count over to the Squire's, when to his
no small discontinue, he learned that
unless he could get new promise from
his debtor, with witness to it, he might
whistle for his bill. Such fellows as Greg
always know good deal of law, especi-
ally the sharp points of it. Greg would
talk as freely and full of promises as ever
when he and Lie were alone, but, before
others, would evade the subject, or else
remain provokingly mum.
One day Lie drove up to Greg's door
with his old gray mare and spring wagon,
plain pine cofiin-one of those fiat,
topped affairs deemed good enough for
poor folks-bcing behind the seat
Mornin', neighbor," said Lie
Same to you," said Greg; "goin' to
plant a pauper, | see."
Y-a-ass; old Boke took rather sud
dent leave last night, and went to try the
charity of another world. Would you
mind gettin' in and comm along, neigh
Dor ?" said Lie; "it's mighty dull goin'
to a funeral all alone by ones self"
Gregg didn't mind, but straightway
mounted by Lies side. The two chatted
away, after a sort, to prove how cheerful
good company can render even grave
occasion.
81 'spose you haven't forgot that little
bill O mine ?" Lije at last took the liberty
to hint.
"Not by no MEANS" said Greg. 8 Lets
see, now-how much did you say it was ?
l misremember rightly"
Even sixty-nine dollars, besides seven
years interest"
"Quitc right" Greg assented; 81
recollects now"
Eff it's at all inconvenient to pay it,"
said Lie, " don't you put yourself out on
no account"
I've been threatenin' to pay it for
month back, f" said Gregg; but times hev
been tight, an'-an' how would Monday
week do 2"
To dot answered Lie.
cpl send it round," said Gregg.
a curious sound came from the coffin
The ghost Of a chuckle, Durdles would
have called it, Gregg gave one jump, and
lit in an adjacent cow pasture. Looking.
back, he saw Lilies prentice, the most
mischievous imp in Guys Neck, but with
plenty Of sense and Of a lawful age to be
a witness sitting up in the coffin and
laughing like mad
ureSS took III inc situation at glance.
He had been duped into committing him
self before q witness.
=" It's dirty, nasty, mean trick ?" he
exclaimed.
"What is it," said Lie.
Why, trihin' with body's feelin's
about old Boke, maxim b'leve he's
dead :"
And so he is" said Lie, only | was
goin' arter the body, instd of fetchin' it
away"
Gregg turned offin disgust, Lie bawl-
ing after him:
Don't forget Monday-week; and per-
APPS it'll save both of us some trouble"
Gregg didn't forget, but has never more
than half enjoyed himself at a funeral
since.
Rsy- A family scene, father aud mother