Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-02-16
Epistlc Est of Glad Tidings to
the Inhabitants Of Marshall
County, which is I'm the State
of IDgeana.
CHAP. ONE /.

NOW it came to pass in the second
~ year of the reign of the great rul-
er Ulysses, Dick Shakes being a Cap
tain of the Host,
2. That the people of Plymouth and
all the Marshallites from Bremen. even
unto the wilderness of Bourbon. as thou
goest eastward, and all the inhabitants
of the mighty city OF Tyner. arose and
girded up their loins;
3. And the numbers of the immense
multitudes was as the sands of the sea
shore, countless.
4. And they FASTENED themselves un-
to the city of Plymouth, unto the store
house of the man of gumption therein,
known as Col. Poe, surnamed Andrew.
who toileth by day and BY night that he
he may cure all the ills and chills Of his
brethren, the People, whose Drug Store
he runneth.
5. And it came to pass when the
people we're all gathered together, they
lifted up their vorees even as the voice
Of one man, and with a mighty wall
they wept:
6. Aud the sound thereof was as the
rushing of mighty waters. And it came
unto the ears of the Colonel, as he was
selling unto barbarian from Warsaw
certain healing and sweet scented herbs.
Z. And he said within himself, These
people do mourn because in times that
are past they have unwittingly paio un-
to Brown, or Todd, or perchance unto
Blain, an exhorbitant price for drugs /;
| will 90 unto them, peradventure i
may console them in their misery.
8. And he went out, and when the
people beheld him, they lifted up their
voices anew and wept, and the Colonel
also lifted up his voice and he wept
And the commingled wall was as the
howl of tom-cat when he enjoyeth q
6rst-clas stomach.ache.
9. And when there was silence, thus
spake Poe. surnamed Andrew. unto the
people. Hear, oh, we Marshallites. give
ear, oh, We Hoosiers! Wherefore do "
mourn? Have grasping chips of NJ,
trade taken your coppers, your nlckels
your silver, or your stamps, or have u
been unto Bill Hills and there wasted
your substance in oysters which profitec
yon naught after they were swallowed
IL. And one among the people pulled
off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, spa
upon his hands, and answered thusly:
IL. Oh, mighty Colonel, lire forever
Thy servants have wasted naught o
their substance at Bill Hills, nor OF lat,
have they been sucked in as of yore, By
Todd, or by Brown, or even by Blain.
IL. But there came unto US this da,
the epistle Of one of those poor unfortu
mates, called editors, saying, Where nov
is Col. Poe?
10. Behold in the land of the Bar
barians there is one horse city callet
Rochester. the people whereof are ex
ceeding ignorant, so that they know
not their right hand from their left
IA. Yet, verify, in this city of tn
barbarians, there is one who selleth Oh
called after the manner of the Hoosiers
Kerosene, to the inhabitants thereof 70
twenty FIVE cents gallon
ID. Lo thy servants pay thee thirt
cents for each gallon of kerosene whicl
we buy, and when we read this W
were exceeding sorrowful for we had re
garded thee as our true friend and coun
selor, and we arose in our might as on
man;
/ 16 Peradventure thou wilt spea
: good w.rds unto US and explain VIII
these things be so, that our hearts ma
{ be no more disquieted within us.
II. Then the mighty Colonel waxin
wroth stood upon his head. cracked hi
heels together in the air, turned a sun
mersault. faced the music and thus he al
Iswered the people