Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1871-06-06
VARIETY.
An Editor Sued.

49, 0AASSA SOV0s
The editor Of the Muscatiue QOwa) Courier
was sued the other day. He took it philo.
sOphically. Hear him:
"The dim recesses of our dark sanctum
were illuminated yesterday by the rubicund
ViSage Of our friend Constable Scott. Our
hair stood on end, as, with tears in his Dyes, he
proceeded to read a very nicely printed blank
on which our name figured conspicuously with
that of Justick Klein.
ITO cut short long article, We were sued
Were you ever sued, reader? Nice, amt it!
We put our pen behind our ear, and looked
wise at the officer. He trembled q little, for
the idea Of suing an editor was new to him.
He never imagined that anything could be got
cut Of them fellers' by suiDg-We didn't
either. We don't now.
1.-THE art of suing is a science. Young
lawyers who arc anxious for suits sometimes
bring them for fun. Old ones, however, new
er do anything of the kind unless they can
got something. We never knew anobody to
get any thing where there wasn't anything to
Be had.
ave hope they'll take out an execution
and lastly, We beg they'll execute it. If we've
got any property we'd like to know It. They
might garnishee a lot of other fellows We owe
around town. We guess they will. If they're
sharp they'll commence on George Schneider.
We owe him for glass of beer. If they
would get that it would help a little. Fail
ing in this, We recommend them to attach n
box Of soiled paper collars We have on hand.
They have not been turned yet, and they
might use the clean eide. If this won't do
We are unable to help them"
The late DR.. Jeuner, having discou.
tinued his professional visits to a patient on
account of her improved condition, sent 4
couple OF ducks to the mother of the conVa-
ieseent lady, accompanying the present with
the following note:
GIVE dispatched my dear madam. this scrap ola
To say that Miss Lucy is very much better;
regular doctor NO longer che lacks.
AID therefore I've sent her a couple Of quaek..'
The lady addressed, returned thanks with
this:
re: re: iva. polite truly. my very good friend.
Since there's nothing 30 likely a. 'quAckS,' tits
plain.
To make work for "a regular doctor again"
One day last week 4 man in Windsor.
Vermont, hitched his team to a freight car
standing on the track, and went into a beLzin
shop to take something. Soon he thought no
heard something, and looking up the track
saw freight train moving out, in the rear of
which was WhirlWind composed principally
OF horses tails, wagon wheels and harness
leather. All he saved out of his establish
ment was few horse shoes and a wagon,t tire.
The mosquitoes are SO plentiful in the
Adirondacks that they can't all get on strau-
ger At once, so they stand around in reIiefs
and wait for their turns. like customers in a
barber shop. They exhaust a man in three
days, and then let him alone, like a deserted
OIL we'll, TO accumulate more blood.
-"Snobbs," said Mrs. Snobbs to her
husband, the day after the ball: "Suobbs,
Why did you dance with every lady in the hall
last night before you noticed me r"
why, my dear," said the devoted Snobbs,
81 was practising what We do a. the table
TsserVing the best for the last
A Utica man, whose vito having un.
dsrtaken to hang herself, was cut down by
the neIghbors, is very much incensed thereaT.
and "thinks that folks had better STAY at homo
aud not NEEDLE with other peoples family
AN exchange says A white man in
one OF the bar rooms of Alabama, the other
day, offered to pay for a quart of LIQUOR if a
negro present would drink it at ono pull
The offer was taken, and the darLey is now a
sOlOrsd angel.
-"WOman's a delusion, madam" ex-
claimed crusty old bachelor to witty Young
lady. "And man is always hugsing some
dslu''on or other" vas the quick rejOinder
Success in life is very apt to mako US
forget the time when We wasn't much. Its
inst so with frog on jump-he can't re-
member when he was tad pOle-but other
folks can.
-Atme to run-When you are in a hurry.
A Pretender to the Crown-A chignon.
- An attached counla O,s,.. .L.rI
-"CaPitAl" sport Oney>huntiug.
A leading article-A dOg>chain.
Joint PrOprietors-Butchers.
Moderate thine expenses; be not idle
keep thy council.
Have peace with thy fellows but war against
EDUCA TIONAL