The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-03-16
Sensible Views about Marriage.

The Chicago Times thus condenses its
report of sermon delivered in that city
by Rev. Robert Collyer, on the subject of
Marriage" He said:
1t was wrong to call marriage lot
terry. He would believe that Of most any
occupation, but nothing was surer than
that a good man or woman could find
a good woman or man. God would help
those who help themselves. 1t was d
lottery to those who determined it should
be a speculation. God did not leave the
glory and Joy of lite to mere chance.
Every man was sure of a good wife if he
would give diligence to make his calling
and election sure. Very little money
was needful if they had some other
things that it could never buy. He
would not cry money down, and had lit
tie respect for those ministers who did
so, for they took all the salary they could
get, and would break tender ties for "a
divine call" that they could not resist
"Love of money" was the root of all evil
An old farmer told him that it would be
well to marry woman who had money
if he could love her; but that it should
not be one of the considerations. 1t was
not true that when poverty came in at
the door love jumped out of the window
passion might, fancy might, but love
would not, and never did. That Cupid
that sprang out of the window came
from Venus, the old heather goddess.
The angel OF God would watch over true
love in the cottage and aid the man who
tried to make $40 go as far as $40 ought
to, and make crust taste better than q
pound-cake.
He wanted frankness to exist be-
tween the parties before they came to
him. There was a sort of semi-decep-
ton practiced by lovers on each other.
They seldom appear as they really are.
Country marriages were apt to turn out
ties knew each other in all their peculi-
arities. But in Chicago all was chang
ed. He then briefly described a court
ship, showing that it was a game of
cards both were anxious not to reveal
their hands; both intended TO cheat,
and when they got married they both
found it out. The deceptions were spec
fled and denounced, tor young men and
women should come to a simple under
standing, for it would cost something to
show the temper after marriage, while it
would cost but little if shown before
marriage. A winning face and pleasing
form counted more with most young peo-
pie than the sweetest graces of the soul,
and it often turned out that a great mis-
take had been made; though beauty
might often accompany great goodness.
Some of the worst cases that had come
under his observation were where the
man had married for beauty and the wo-
man because he was six feet one, had
black whiskers, etc. Marriage was a
religious duty, though not commanded
it was rather a divine fact; and he
liked the Quakers who said, when about
to be married, "We have been moved to
do this by the Holy Spirit" Men and
women were often brought together by
something that they could not account
for. He related the story of single
man who on the Pacific saw face and
discovered that it was his wife, and he
married her seven years afterward in
Philadelphia, and there was never a
happier couple in the world; and that
woman told him that she had seen her
husband at the same time, and said to
herself, "That is the homeliest face !
ever saw" All true marriages were
made in Heaven, but there must be q
conviction that they are made above,
and not by the mother or father, etc., on
earth.
He gave it as his opinion that the
greater portion of the human beings
who become husband and wife find
themselves rightly married. They sell
dom married the ideal, and there were
often times when they could not see
alike, and there would be trials of faith
in each other, and sometimes a doubt,
and no man had right to get married
without expecting such things. Mar
ried life had more burdens and also more
happiness. The sweetest wife in this
world has said things to her husband
that she would not allow any body else to
say, and the best husband sometimes
might say things that if anybody else
had said he would leap at him like a
leopard. Among the costs to pay were
patience, forbearance, mutual giving and
taking, no treasuring up of sharp words
and the sun should never be allowed tc