The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-09-02
VARIETY.


y ssdss&tDis bonds-Vagabonds
good s.6s show-A pretty cheek.
ul x1r11 question-Is he married?
ngsizft cI hsnd-Refusing an '' Offer"
kscc5 nice being good to extirpate potato
[114 farmers invite their neighbors to
= - pse4zcs on their fields.
e, sorslinz to recent writer an Englishman s
M a. la41n by hanging is 130 times greater
Nr11lng on railway.
pa - ~ KNow.-Wanted to know how
1z75 Hds are contained in a wise-acre.
o Al CS.-Why is a surgeon, since the
. ss II 1.her, like swindler because he
c ri<1out payin' (pain).
n EEsin says: ' have seen slower people
q a1f--6nd more deliberate people than
81 e. even quieter, and more Iistless, and
- han l am. But they were dead. -
{zrc, 1<<'con, your horse meat is very black, -
csnslsnzn to a waiter in a Paris restaurant
<hs <ciee. " Yes, sir so it ought to be, -
= he r6pfF- The animal belonged to an
SHzEf ~ rHE WORD IN TExAs.-A Texan
a y8f1z1Ie mare, and telegraphing to a
sil,< 41Rn to arrest the thief, received the
i re<3s--t' Mare here; thief hung"
tr,f Es<f "A gentleman who wished to
Gil - Excessive mendacity of a servant of
"a ~ zie why the fellow will lie even
II Ae' = 7s.eep." We have met with persons,
wfze rsrseious, who could not sleep without
I'll Ezct a man must be more than ordi-
an 2Erif1t who can resist the inclination.
4 H the five large hotels in San Fran
S 3aif % be "a, 100000. Their annual re-
<xe rsported at S3.OO0,OO0.
Z fnFaz in New Hampshire threatens the |
,zee With suit for putting an .s j Z" in |
Of ans a y in his advertisement Of grape |
farmer in Laconia, n. H., speaking of the |
Ias4pf BE hay crop, said The grasshop- |
hsFs 81 got lame trying to jump from one
fcE ETa8 to another"
! Dnsenbury undertook to correct an offend
t1F With such Indifferent success, that his
nnE9ering about a dozen, subsequently
pnse1bnrrying.
IrishuAn leaning against lampost as a /
al u1s passing by, was asked who was dead. |
Ant ez8ctly say, sir, but presume it is the |
sman II The cofin.''
\ - story of lazy schOolboy who spelled
xc7 5aczzon '' &dru Jaxon, " has been eoualed
Ernf@nt Fho wished to mark half dozen
\ e2lrf4. He marked the first one 'E John
- t11 he rest 50 do"
1 e>fpe1<<r being asked for riddle, pro-
5Nd-a t<'s lollowing " L picked it up;
scnt Ind is: put it down and went along
IT." No one could guess it. 1t was q
lktor Ia bis foot
Y Vil4----, the reigning belle at Saratoga, has
Rflrbbe ehieh fills five huge trunks. two
keh maids. hired young lady companion,
pet canaries, pair Of ponies and a nobby
Ik3n, and shabby, sore-eyed poodle.
editor hftributes to the good book (" the
az <11t {" God tempers the wind to the shorn
O, Unfortunate editor the good
>. 10 Tho sentimental Journey, according to
c<errc, and the prophet who utters it is
q - <Fasshoppers in Maine are in appetite.
+ are credited at one place with having eaten
7eryth-pg of picket fence but the stringers
n iron pests, and are now sharpening their
= tqr an attack on the nearest blacksmith
; a<on <apsrs mention p a remarkable fact
fft7-tuo officers of that city indulged in a
rzs ezcnrsion lately, and instead of charging
a1[|ease % tbe city paid it themselves. They
> prob4oiE be removed from Office, for this
lar t:srseArd Of precedent
,+Gkfz<4ee, Kansas, on Sunuay, while a
80 zz&1tse, 1ing rsh IN the church, a crowd
!. 20 enc< p "a me yard. The people who
n the church went out to stop
pAl waited until the battle was over
| es The minister looked out of the
sz crowd and said g We are all
4e4rs-which whipyed?"
<-.z+.'z ~ PC Mount Vernon. not long since,
eeplng most bitterly and audibIy.
49, IS euiet at her eyes. He stepped
ere yoo = sny trouble, madam?''
No, sir. sis sobbed.
G &w jon reeping.''
49, - now can one help weeping
Es1Fe OF the Father of his Countrv p, Fe
b. indeed, madam said he sc h.. -,
oEz5 i over yonder; this is the ice borse ~ -;
sF'i'ss eSrd of no mean powers, comes to
% '1s q nls DorkIng stricken countrymen.
J. 1ts4 for the London Society an acco1,,. oc
et1ies Of the English and German fieets
tsz bow She British Admiral, by a strateg;s |
o1i1ted and then managed to put his f5es
c1sstgt without the loss of man. Snd-
=. .Ve1ring about he fred broadside into !
80 nas astonished to find that they did
"a I4 ssssehIess nigh
t make out for Why
He they should 50 quickly up'ards chuck it,
-<.1f1rr4 We espied
~ <t&l Ger the side.
80 Altting down beside BUCKET
] Nas Bismarck so pallid, and why sat |
Ft14{Fe down beside bucket?
x4r.nerE all their stokers
4z< - kitchen poksrx
z-s>ning from the bottom Of their soul;
f+t-x precious crew,
rEa~.sled 10 the Blue,
when the ships began 10 ron.
- why Bismarck was 80 pallid, and
tnsive beside bucket.
<fe battle ended,
- -<-E zen peace mended
- I'm, when az last be ceased to BE-
W<<<er and a wiser,
= a <c-amspecf old Kaiser
nber Of Peace Societies.
ss