The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-05-15

r
of peas and pork Still this comparatively
dismal portion of his career was not without
it's valuable fruits He discovered a certain
cure for dyspepsia which we gladly make
public. After suffering intensely for some
time from this truly national scourge, while
officiating as cook in the prison, Mr.. Rulloff
was suddenly inspired one night with mad
desire to arise out of his bed and 'oook
pigs cheek He not only cooked a pigs
check, but ate up the whole of it, after which
he felt perfectly happy, and thenceforth BE-
came completely eppeptic. Incidentally, too,
he furnishes lively illustration OF one Of
Shakespeares maxims in physiology
'Let me have men about me that are fat!
Sfeek-headed men and such as sleep o nights,
Yond Casslus has a lean and hungry lOok.t
''Bger since the year 1885," quoth Mr.
6ecUsruS Z cuuIu never cIoy myself with fat
enough" An i'll sign, this. aud though the
commissioners declare the Hermes of Sing
Sing now to possess what they are pleased to
call 20 perspirable skin, we are inciined-re-
memberipg his recent exploits in the matri-
monial line-to exclaim with Cesar, "Would
he were fatter"
But the strong point with the commission
ers as well as with their interlocutor, after
all, was their common interest in the noble
subject Of phllology. In respect Of this the
main theme of their joint debate, it is not
easy to decide whether the innocence of the
inquisitors or the impudence Of the prisoner
be the more eminent. The commissioners
fell into q passion of admiration when the
worthy professor calmly assured them that he
could read 'tall the European languages ex-
cept the Sclavonic." This extremely clear
and explicit assertion he followed mp with
the observation that on The whole he had
found ''the Portuguese" the hardest of these
aforesaid European languages" to master,
the mysteries of Basque and Magyar, of
Erse and Welsh, being nothing. to him in
comparison with the sombre intgicacies of
the dulcet tongue of Camoens. 1t is possible
that he may have got his notions of Portu-
guese from the English of that famous
: F'phrase book" which Lisbon has contributed
to The eternal delectation Of mankind. This
would account, perhaps, fo-y his. getting his
notions of Eng ish, also, confused to that de-
gree that he considers an arbitrary" sign to
be q sign made without choice on the part of
the person making il. Theprompt acquies-
cence of the commissioners in. this luminous
notion mast be attributed, we presume, to
the sympathetic union of their spirits with
his own. Their docility indeed transcends
praise. When they ventured timidly to ask
him whether in his worshipfnl opinion ''the
Greek was an original language" they thank
fully swallowed, and we hope were much
benefited by, this really suSlime reply, which
we cannot refuse ourselves the pleasure of
quoting at length.
loft, ''is worked up wonderfully, and is
greatly sDriched from that of the early Greek
writer's. The letter II was, not found in the
earlier Greek. In writings of that time that
letter was not necessary; but when Bacchus
came out of India, and Bacchanalian life,
with it's orgies, revels, and carnivals, began,
it then became necessary to describe the new
| condition of life
In other words, we suppose, when men got
drunk they found it necessary to spell drunk
! with an ''r," even if they were Greeks and
| had no such word in their language! In the
fowery field of language one needs must dig
the wholesome roots of etymology. Rullon
and the commissioners revelled in this part
of their work like PepigoYd pigs in truffle
forest. The immortal derivation of picked
cucumbers from King Jeremiah and the adj
mirsble Dutch prolusions of Mr.. Ker upon
English proverbs, would clearly be accepted
by these sages as the most natural su2ges-
tions possible of the human mind.
When the inquest bore upon themes still
more abstruse, and the commissioners un-
dertook to justify the ways of God to Rulloff,
the mental muddle of the latter becane, as it
was to be expected it should, perfect Ser
bonias bog. The commissioners wer sshocked
to find that Rulloff's faith in things unseen
had been shaken by his study of ''German
metaphysics, these said German authors OF
his ruin having been, as he kindly stated,
Kant ana COmte. But although he 'Nac-
cepted their philosophy" (the philosophy,
that is, of Kant and Comte) ''as conclusive. >
we don't see why the commissioners should
despair of him. For he was at pains to let
them know that his idea of conclusive
was e'vague;" that he sometimes believed in
God and sometimes didn't; and that tsome-
times ne thought he was responsible, while
'at other times he thought he was irrsspon-
sible"
1t is not easy to see what positive gain to
the cause of justice has Injured from all this.
DIR. Yanderpool, whose words on a point of
:. medical jurisprudence are worthy of all atten.
tion, pronounces Rulloff to be ''sane and
sound in body and mind" or, in other words,
10 be perfectly fit to be hanged. 1t is a pity
he had not contented himself with this die
tum, and remembered in uttering it the ad.
vice of Lord Thurlow to his young friend
going out to India. Rulloff's bad philology
and worse philosophy will make him Sc
popular with a mighty army of quidnuncs
that We shall hardly be surprised to find some
extemporized millionaire in the rural dis
tricts leap up and offer to give small for,
tune for the founding of university, on
condition that this miracle of erudition be