Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-11-30

me what has procured me the honor of
this visit ?" s,s EsFH
He placed an arm: chair for me, and
seated himself on the box of a daguer-
reotype apparatus, his long grasshopper
legs sprawled wide apart his elbows on
his knees, and his pointed beard drawn
out between his bony fingers.
His was truly strange pbysiognomy,
seen by the dim light, admitted by the
cellar grating, and the vague CLEANS
that faded into shadow amid the thou
sand optical instruments added to the
singularity of the scene.
simply related to him the converse
ton L had had with the burgomaster,
and Schnaps far from becoming angry,
burst into new peals of laughter. SA
N"That animal of a burgomaster," he
cried, "for whom have just invented
new kind of syringe?-a superb dis
coyery, doctor And-har hal Observe
that spy glass it's the famous Schnaps'
syringe, unique of its kind With this
wonderful instrument 1 am able to ac-
complish what has never before been
possible-to syringe the brains of idiots,
imbeciles, cretins, and burgomasters gem
erallyl L pour into the body of the
pump decoctien of Voltaire, Shak-
speare or Father Malebranche l deli
cately introduce into your eye the small
end of the instrument press, and,
crack l-you are filed with good sense,
poetry, or metaphysics"
"Aha my dear. friend," l said, g an
t',Joke mot the least in the world.
YOU are much too sensible, Doctor
Benedum, not to know that our opin-
ions depend upon our point of view a
miserable beggar, without fire or shell
ter, covered with rags, and with only
dunghill to lie upon, sees things in a
light very different from that in which
nabob looks on them; social order
appear to him detestable, laws alb
surd." -..-g .....
"Doubtless, butt
But" interrupted Schnaps, seat
the fellow at a splendid table, in a
beautiful house. surround him with
odoriferous flowers and pretty women
in magnificent dresses, feed him on the
daintiest dishes, let him drink Johannis-
berg, and place behind his chair a
dozen lacqueys who call him monseig-
neur, highness, most eminent, ETC.; he'll
find that all is for the best in the best of
all possible worlds social order will ap-
pear to him magnificent, and he will
proclaim our laws masterpieces of hui
man wisdom
's Agreed, my.dear Schnaps, agreed;
what you now say is the history of hui
manity; we all look at things through
the great or small end of the spy glass,
as it may happen. But what the deuce
are you driving at 2" .. -z-.r {.
"Ah ~ cried the apothecary, "it's
very simple. From the moment that
all depends on our point of view, the
question of happiness is reduced to
ksad the point of view that is the most
agreeable-and that is precisely the
merit Of my discovery. Judge Tor
yourself.' 'l'~ t.Tss Il! @!.f-,.s-I-
. He handedme his spy-glass I applied
it to my eye, and could not refrain from
uttering cry of admiration. l saw
myself President OF the Scientific Societ
decorated with the Order of Merit, of
the Black Eagle, of the Brown Eagle,
of the Red Eagle, of the Legion of Hon
OF, of the Garter, and others besides. |
held the bell, and called people to or
der. Through the windows of the am
phitheater 1 saw my two-horse caleche
and my footman bedizened with lace.
Further off, L saw my mistress, a
premiere danseuSe, captivated by my
charms, walking under the Hndens, a
parasol in her hand-and l said to my
SELF, e" Benedum! Benedum For
tunate being! sublime genius great
man F' O.. ~
| A burst of ironical laughter drew me
| from this profound contemplation. I
| lowered the spy-glass and found my
self in the cellar, in front of the apo
thecary, who was watching me, his
little malicious eyes wrinkled to his
ears. '' -.f.ss-: t-.t=.
~" Well, WE'LL" he said, "what do you
think of that?'' .-..s-..t
"Oh, my dear Schnaps," exclaimed,
{" let me have itr' .-.E #s..
&c A good joke r' he cried; g you for
! get that it cost me ten years labor to
make it. With this spyglass the uni
verse belongs to me, after a manner 1
can see my wife, young, pretty, prepos-
contented, This spy-glass lifts me
above the most powerful monarchs of
| the world; renders me richer than
Crpsus, more omnipotent than Xerxes;
l would not lose it for the world! That
is not all with this spy-glass 1 can
give myself injected doses of good
| sense, poetry, or metaphysics, accord
ing to the requirements of my tempera,
ment."
"But, in the name of heaven
Schnaps," l replied, transported with
enthusiasm, how did You make this
sublime discovery" .'E.-.... 30.
| 1t is not SO marvellous as you be
lieve," he said, laughing; it is nothing
more nor less than Kaleidoscope, but
kaleidoscope of new kind; instead
of allowing flowers and bits of glass tc
fall at hazard it draws them together il
a natural color. In other terms, it is {
combination of the telescope and the
daguerreotype, two instruments which
nature herself has united in oul
hands, $685.
At this moment he took out of hi
pocket a small spuf-box, and slowly in
hailed a pinch, as if to collect himself
and then continued:
" For three years tried to fix tn,
: solar spectrum on a copper-plate. 7,
this end l employed chloride of silver
bitumen of Judea plunged in oil of Law
ender and petroleum, iodide of silver
bromide of lime, solid and fluid il
short, all imaginable chemical combine
/ tions without obtaining any decisive re
suit. One evening, under the influenc
, of more sensitive composition, red
, orange, and violet light appeared to fl
f itself; the plate took vaguely the tint
of the iris. l was forming the bes
, opinion of it, when my dear spouse, az
s cording to her immemorial custom
/, | q IL