davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A good story is told Of an eccentric old
gentleman, who, although occasionally ad-
dictcd to tho habit Of swearing, was still
puuctillious iuregard to saying grace at
the table, and this duty he never omitted
on any occasion. The story runs that on
a certain occasion the old gentleman invit-
cd . sea captain, q jolly old ather.beat-
on tar Of bis acquaintance, to dine with
him. They sat down to dinner, aud the
old gentleman, according to custom, COM
nlenced saying grace; but the captain,
whose attention bad been diverted for the
moment, hearing the old gentleman speak,
thought he was addressing him. and turn
cd TO him with:
"What did you say, squirrel"
"Why, d-n it, man, | am saying
grace"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Java must BE- delightful country 10
which to live. It has six distinct climates,
tho most delicious fruits, the deusests vegct.
able growth, tho most beautiful flowers and
the largest trees. But--alas! that there
must be buts-it has the Upas tree and a
shrub growing in its beautiful forests with
more deadly poison than that popularity at.
tributed to tho Upas. Ncttlcs grown in
tho island are so acid as to cause sickness
and pain lasting for days. Tho air in tho
dense forest is dark, damp and heavy with
; miasma. Its magnificent bloom has the
perfume Of carriou. A parasite growing
there is nothing but one immense flower
whose bud is the size Of q cabbage, smell
like putrid meat, or three feet and a half in
diameter, brck-red in colors, weighs 6f.
teen pounds, and whose cup will hold six
quarts Of liquid.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Young people should acquire tho habit
ofcorrect speaking and writing, and aban-
don as early as possible any use Of slang
words or phrases. The longer you put
this Of, the more difficult the requirement
-ofoorrect language will be; and 1.-THE gold.
en- age of youth, the proper season for the
acquisition Of language, be passed in its
abuse, the unfortunate victim will most
probably be doomed to talk slang for life.
You have merely to use the language which
you read, instead Of tho slang you hear, to
form taste in agreement with the speakers
and poets in the country.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
" THE GREAT CAUSE
,AlaM QE
Human Misery,

Just Published, in sealed envelope. Pricesir cts
A Lecture on the Nature. Treatment
and Radical Cure of Seminal weakness,or Sper.
matorrhea, induced by self abuse, lnvolunla-
ry Emissions, Impolency, Nervous Debility,
and lmpcdiments 10 Marriage generemlly;
Consumption, Epilepsy, aud Fits; Mental and
Physical IncapaciIy, 8c.--By ROBERT j..
CULVERWELL, NJ. D. Author Of The "Green
Book, eIc.
The world .renowned author, in this admira
bic Lcrlule, clearly proves from his own expe.
ricnce that The awful consequences Of Self.
Abuse may be effeclualy removed without
medicines and without dangerous surgical
operations, bousies, instruments, rings or cor.
dials, pointing out mode Of cure at onre Ger.
tain and encclual by which every sufferer, no
matter what his condition may be, my cure
himself cleaply, privately, and ladically.-
This lecture will prove boon to thousands
and thousands.
Sent, under seal, in plain envelope, to any
address, on receipt Of six cents or two postage
stamps. Also. DR.. Culverwel's Marriage
Guide" llicp 25 cents Address the Publish
crs, CHAS. ]. G. KLINE 4 co.,
1877 Bowery, New York, P. 0, Box 45S6.
June 90 ls7l-ly. p.a co.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
A Mechanics Story.

Twenty years ago, | lived iu the town Of
D-in Indiana. On returning home
ono night, for | am carpenter by trade, !
saw little girl leaving my door with a
smile which is encouraging to a tired
mechanic after days labor. She said
Mrs. r had sent her little girl after their
paper which she had borrowed. We sat
down to tea We had only been married
six months and Of course had no children.
My wife said to me, calling me by my
given name: II wish you would subscribe
for the newspaper, fer it is so much COM
fort for me when you are away from home"
Ny answer was: II would like to'do so,
but you know I owe little payment on
tho house and lot. II will be all can do
to meet it," She said, "if you will take
the paper. III SOW for the tailor 10 pay
for IL" | subscribed for the paper. 1t
came in due time to my house. While
resting ono noon, and looking over it, !
saw an advertisement Of the county com.
nissioners to let q bridge to DO built. |
put in bid for building the bridge, and
gotthe job on which | cleared 5000, which
enabled me TO pay for my house and lot
easily, and also for tho newspaper. If |
had not subscribed for the newspaper, |
would have known nothing Of tho bridge
contract, and could not have met my pay
ment on my house aud lot A mechanic
never loses anything by taking his county
paper.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

In Japan, on certain festival days, the
women are allowed great licens; and in
their harms they may indulge to any cx'
tent in the forbidden cup but woman Of
the lower class who should be found drunk
at any other time would expose herself to
a severe beating from her husband, while,
were she Of the higher class she might die
by the sword Of her spouse.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

In the town Of Newbury, Mass is a
dwelling which was erected in 1852. 1t
is q genuine curiosity, and is so heavily
timbercd that it will stand FIVE hundred
years, unless pulled down. 1t was used
for q garrison in the time Of the Indian
wars. The stairs are made Of blocks Of
oak timber ten inches wide and ten inches
thick. What is quite as remarkable as
anything about it is the fact that the
dwelling is now occupied by the seventh
generation Of the family that built it, the
Christian name Of each owner being Ben
jamin.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
l1JEsT VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY.

Hon. ] T. HoFE, Pres't Board Of Regents.
G @ SrURGEs, Sec'y
ALEX MARTIN. D. D., President, and Profess
tr of Mental and Moral Philosophy.
FS Lyon, A. NJ, Vice President, Profess.
or of Eng. Literature, and Princip. Prep'y
Dept.
S G STEVENS, A. NJ, Professor Of Astrono.
my and Physics.
II H PIERCE. A. NJ, Capt U. s. Az Pro.
lessor Of Mathematics Of Military Tactics.
J ] STEVENSON, A. NJ, Phi D. Professor Of
Chemistry and Natural History.
FW WooD, Phi, d., Professor Of Ancicnt and
Modern Languages,
OW MILLER, A. NJ, Assistant in the Pre-
paratory Department.
DB PuPlSroY, Tutor.
Geo M. HAaANs, Esq, Superintendent Of the
Grounds and Buildings,
HuGn W BRocK, NJ. D, Lecturer Oh Physiolo.
gy and Hygiene.
Hon. JONI A Ollie, Lecturer on Civil and
Constitutional Law.
FALL TERN begins LIST Tuesday in September
W INTER TERN I" LIST Monday in December.
SpRlSa TERM Sd Tuesday in March.
COMMENCEMENT, Sd Wednesday in June.
TUITION Preparatory, $500 per Term of Ia
weeks.
I" University, $500 per Term of la
weeks.
BoARpISa-Not to exceed 81 per week,
Aug. 10, 1869 -ly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Atobacco loving preacher, not long since
asked to stay all night at country house,
but was forbidden by lady. Knowing
her to be member Of the church, and gen.
orally known to entertain ministers, he
began TO quote Paul to her, hoping that
she would understand by this that be was
iapreacher. Ho had hardly got "out, For
thereby some have entertained angels un-
awsres," when she said, Il know, sir; but
angels would not come with guilds Of to.
bacco stuck in their mouths" The preach.
or left without any further ceremony.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
R. .R. R.
RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
CURES THE WORST PAINS


In From One to Treuy Minutes.
NOT ONE HOUR.
after reading this advertisement need any one
suffer with pain. Railways Ready Relief is a
cure for every pain. 1t was thefrst aud is
THE ONLY PAIN REMEDY
that Instantly stops The most excruciatns pains
allayp inh,mations, and cures congestions,
whether Of the lungs, stomach, bowels, or 9th
er glands or organs, by one application, in
from one to twenty minutes, no matter how
violent or excrucialing the pain the rheumatic,
bed.riddep, inGrm, crippled, nervous. neural"
eic, or Frustrated with disease may suffer.
RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
will afford instant ease. inflammation Of the
Kidneys, Inflammation Of the bladder, lnAam.
nation Of tho Bowels, Congestion Of the Lu ngs
Sore Throat, Difficult Breathing, Palpitation
of tho Heurt, Mysteries, Group, Diphtheria,
Cstarh, Influenza, Headache. Toolhache, Neu.
ralgia, rheumatism, Cold Chills, Ague Chills.
The application oflhe Ready Relief to the
part or parts where the pain or difficulty exists
will afford ease and comfort.
Twenty drops in half a tumbler Of water
will in n few minutes cure Cramps. Spasms,
Sour Stomach, Heartburn, Sick Headache. Di.
arrhea. Dysenlery, Collie, Wind in The Bowels,
and all internal pains
Travellers should always carry bottle Of
Railways Ready Relief with them, A few
drops in water will prevent sickness or pains
from change of waller II Is better than French
Brandy or Bitters as stimulant.
FEVER AND AGUE
Fever and Ague cured for fifty cents. There
il not remedial agent in this world that will
cure Fever aud Agie, and all other Mslarieus,
Bilious, Scarlet, Typhoid, Yellow, and other
Fevers (aided by RADWAY'S PILLS. so
quick as RAILWAYS READY RELIEF
Fifty cents per bottle.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Gen. Noyes 60 this first ideas Of busincss
and life's cares and responsibilities, in the
poor Boys College-the printing office.
lie learned bis trade well-ma good use
Of his time-evaded no duties, and to-day,
although ayoung man, stands forth as one
tho people Of the State delight TO honor.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

CHEAP ADvERTIslNG.--We will insert
| ] an advertisement in Eight Hundred
American Newspapers for Six Dollars per
line per week. One line one week will cost
six dollars, Two lines one week will cost
twelve dollars, and Ten line will cost sixty
dollars. Send for printed list. Address
GEO. ?. R0WELL = co., Advertising Agents
III Park Row, New York.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

An il.naturcd contemporary says that
Pennsylvania should shake in her shoes,
at the news Of the discovery Of coal in
Rhode Island; for should the same prove
middling thick, and underlie the whole
State, the product would be as much as
seven bushels.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A man from the country visited all the
stores in Jasper, Ind, recently, to buy a
divorce. lie was told they were just out
Of divorces, but would have a full supply
ina few days.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

us your brother-iu.law really such a
lazy mau?' asked one gentleman Of anoth-
er. Lazy" was the reply, why he's so
lazy that he has an artist employed by the
month to larw bis breath with a crsyon."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
HEALTH, BIC AUTY,
Strong and pure rich blood Increase Of flesh
and Weieht--Clear Skin and Beautiful
Complexion secured to all.
DIR. RAILWAYS
Sarsaparillian Resolvent

N1l puptoi AlAAuu lVoboAVoue
Has made The most astonishing cures, so quick,
so rapid are the changes the body undergoes,
under The influence Of this truly wonderful
medicine, that every day anyincrease in flesh
and eight is seen and felt
THE GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER.
Every drop Of the Sarsaparillian Resolvent
communicates through The Blood, Sweat, Urine
and other flutes and juices oflhe system Of The
vigor Of life, for il repairs The waste Of the body
with new and sound material. Scrofula, Sy.
philis, Consumption, Glandular disease, vi.
GERS in the throat, Mouth, Tumors, Nodes in
the Glands aud other parts The system, Sore
Eyes, Strumrous discharges from the Ears. and
the worst forms Of Skin Diseases, Eruptions,
Fever Sores, Scald Head, Ring Worm, Salt
Rhellm. EIyspelas, Acne, Black Spots, Worms
in The Flesh, 1'umors, Cancers in The Womb,
and all weakening and painful discharges,
Night Swcas, Loss Of Sperm and all wastes Of
the life principle, are within The curative range
ofthis wonder Of Modern Chemistry aud lew
days use will prove 10 any person using it for
either Of these form Of disease its potent power
10 cure them.
| III Inc patienl, uallY becoming reduced Oy
the wastes and decomposition that is conlinu.
ally progressing, succeeds in a'rcsling these
wastes, and repairs The same with new mate
rial made froA, healthy blood,- land this the
SARSAPARlLLlAN will and does secure--a
cure is certain; or When once his remedy com.
mpnccs It's work Of publication, and succeeds
in diminishing the loss of wastes, lis repairs
will berap;d, aud every day The patient will
feel himself growing better and stronger, the
food digesliog better, appetite improving, au,l
flesh and weight increasing. 1t is not only
the best remedial agent for The cure Of Chronic
diseases, BUTT is the only positive cure for
KIDNEY AND BLADDER COMPLAINTS,
Urinary and Womb diseases, Gravel, Diabetes,
Drepsy, Sioppage Of Water, Incontinence of
'Urinc, Brighl's diseases, Albumiuuria, aud in
all cases where there are brick.dust deposits,
or the water is thick, cloudy, mixed with sub.
stances like The white an egg, DC
DR RADWAY'S
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A New Hampshire Irishman became
frightened while being lowered into deep
we'll the other day, and cried out the men
above that if they did not haul him up ho'd
cut the rope. TO save the rope they haul
ed him up.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

sEnII.wEEKLY sun, SEA YEAR,
Of tho same slze md general character as
THE WEEKLY, but with greater variety Of
miscellaneous reading, md furnishing the news
to Its subscribers with greater freshness. because
II comes twice week instead Of once only.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

As daylight can be seen through very
small holes, so little things will illustrate a
PERSONS character.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

II hope this hand is not counterfeit, y
said a lover, as hc was toying with his
sweethearts fingers. Tho best way to
find out is to ring it." was tho next reply.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
DIR. RAILWAYS
prnrECr pURCATlyE PILLS,

perfectly tasteless. elegantly coated with sweet
gum, purge, regulate, purify, cleanse, and
strengthen. Railways Pills, for the cue of
all disorders Of the stomach, Liver, bowels,
Kidneys, Bladder, Nervous Diseases, etc.
Price 25 cents per box. Sold by all Drug.
eisls, Read "Fslse and True" Send one let
ter stamp to RADWAY Il CO.. 81 Maiden Lane
New York. Information worth thousands will
be sent you, [r.aCo fjunc 29-ly
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A school committee in frontier dis.
trict are reported to have summed up their
opinion Of the examination which they had
attended by making to the pupils this ad-
dress: You've spelled we'll, and you've
ciphered good, butyou hain't sot STILL"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS.
Rifles, Double and Single Barrel Shot
Guns, RevOlvers, Ammunition.

Sporting Goods, Rifle Barrels, Locks. Noun.
tings, Gun Materials, &c. Send for Price
List Address j. Il, Johnston, Great Western
Gun Works, l79 Smith6eld Street, Pittsburgh,
Penn.
N. q. Army Carbines, Rifles and Revolvers
bought or traded for.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Some "ncw beginners" arc practising on
such specimens as these: "IIow much
does fool weigh generally? A simple
ton. In what color should q secret be
kept? In violet"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Out in Iowa, fishing parties Of thirty or
forty take along a brass band to play on
one side Of the stream and drive the Gsh to
tho hooks on the other.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A fellow was told that three yards Of
cloth being wet, would shrink one quarter
Of "a yard. "Woll, then" he inquired,
III you would wet a quarter Of yard,
would there be any left" eta
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Said pompous husband, whose wife
had stolen up behind him and given him a
kiss, MADAM, | consider such an act in.
dccorous!" Excuse mo-" said tho wife,
~ didn't know it was you"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A schoolmaster recently informed his
pupils that tho feminine gender should be
applied to all ships and vessels aaoat ex-
ccpt mail steamers aud men of.war.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

"l'hem soldiers must bean awful dishon-
est SGT" said on old lady, "for not night
seems to pass that some sentinel is not re-
lievod ofhis watch"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A country paper, speaking of The street.
organ played by q soldier without arms,
who worked tho crank with bis foot, says:
"His playing was far above the usual aver
ago; he threw bis whole sole into it."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A bad debt--the owing Of grudgc.-
Better never pay it,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

"My dear" said an aaeotionate spouse
to her husband IAN I not your only treas
surc?'
"0h. yes was the cool reply, "aud I
would willingly lay it up in heaven"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
WEST VIRGINIA
INSURANCE COMPANY!
WHEELING, WEST VA.

CAPITAL, sie5,ooo
n,,.
Taxes RISKS al ,he lowest TaIes, on build,hs'
OF al Kinds, furni'lre. h9useholo oooaS'
Merchandise, anu oooas III transit
D"eo'o'''
Jacob Hornbrook, VIM. r. Stevenson.
Henry Hartman, Jacob NJ. Bickel,
Jonathan Rowley, DR.. j. Q. Hupp,
r. ] Smyth, Edmund Booking,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

More are drowned in the wine cup than
in the depths Of old ocean.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Why is a grain Of sand in the eye like q
school masters cane? Because it hurts the
pupil.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27
TERMS TO CLUBS.


TIE DOLLAR WEEKLY BUN.
Five copies, one year, separately addressed,
Four Dollars
Ten copies, ono year, senarately addressed (and
an extra copy to the getter up Of club.
Eight D0llnrg.
Twenty copies. ono year, separately addressed.
(aud an extra copy to the eetter M Of clnbl,
Fifteen Dollars.
Fifty copics. ono year, to ono address land tho
Seml. Weekly ono year to gctler ND OF clubl,
Tkirty.thrcc Dollars.
Flity copies, one year, separately addressed (asd
the Semi Weekly ono year 10 geitcr I'm OF club,
Thirty.Gve Dollars.
Ono hundred copies, one year, to one address
land tho Daily for one year to tho getter up Of
club. Fifty Dollars.
One hundred. couics, ono year. separately I'D.
dressed land the Daily for ono year to the .gettei
pofclub), Sixty Dollars.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

The nerve which relaxcs, tho eye which
never blaucbcs, tho thought which never
wanders; these are the masters Of victory.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A Newspaper Of the Present Times.
intended for People Now on Enrth.
Including Farmers. Mechanics, Merchants, Pro-
fesslonal Men, wo,kero, Thinkers. and OIL Man.
ncr OF Honest Folks, and the Wives, Sons, and
Daughters Of all such.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A gray eye
Is still and sly;
A rougish
Isthc brown;
The eye Of blue
Is ever true;
But, in til black eyed
Sparkling spell,
Mystery
And the mischief dwell!
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Why arc hens not immortal?- Because
they have their necks twirled in this.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Disorganizcrs Morning drains.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

Is ever true;
But, in til black eyed
Sparkling spell,
Mystery
And tho mischief dwell!
A bad debt--the owing Of grudgc.-
Better never pay it.
Why arc hens not immortal?-Bccaus
they have their necks twirled in this.
More are drowned in the wine cup tina
in the depths Of old ocean.
Why is q grain Of sand in The eye like
school masters cane? Because it hurts til
pupil.
The nerve which relaxes, tho eye whicI
novor blaucbcs, tho thought which neve
wanders; these are the masters Of victory
-------------
",rhem soldiers must bean awful dishon
est set" said on old lady, "for not nigh
seems to pass that some sentinel is not rc
lieyod ofhis watch"
A schoolmaster recently informed hi
pupils that tho feminine gender should b.
applied to oil ships and vessels aAoat ex
ccpt mail steamers aud men of.war.
Out in Iowa, fishing parties Of thirty Oh
forty take along brass band to play OF
one side Of the stream and drive the Gsh to
the hooks on the other.
---
Some new beginners" arc practising on
such specimens as these: "Hoy much
does fool weigh generally? A simple
ton. In what color should q secret be
kept? In violet"
Said a pompous husband whose wife
had stolen up behind him and given him a
kiss, MADAM, | consider such an act in.
dccorous!" Excuse mo-" said tho wife,
~ didn't know it was you"
A country paper, speaking of The street.
organ played by q soldier without arms,
who worked tho crank with bis foot, says:
"His playing was far above the usual aver.
ago; he threw his whole sole into it."
A fellow was told that three yards Of
cloth being wet, would shrink one quarter
ola yard. "Woll, then" he inquired,
III you would wet q quarter Of yard
would there be any left" eil
II hope this hand is not counterfeit,
said a lover, as hc was toying with hi!
sweethearts fingers. Tho best way Il
find out is to ring it" was tho next reply
A school committee in u frontier dis.
trict are reported to have summed up thoil
opinion Of the examination which they hai
attended by making to the pupils this i'd
dress: You've spelled we'll, and you've
ciphered good, butyou hain't sot STILL"
"My DEAR" said an agectionate spouse
to her husband "am | not your only treas
surc?"
ooh. yes was the cool reply, "and
would willingly lay it up in heaven"
A man from the country visited all The
stores in Jasper, Ind, recently, to buy
divorce. lie was told they we're just ouI
Of divorces, but would have a full supply
ina few days.
us your brother-iu Flaw really such 9
lazy mau?' asked one gentleman Of anoth.
er. Lazy" was the reply, why he's SC
lazy that he has an artist employed by the
month to larw bis breath with a crayon.
An ill.natured contemporary says thai
Pennsylvania should shake in her shoes
at the news of the discovery Of coal ii
Rhode Island; for should the same prove
middling thick, and underlie the whole
Stoto tho nrnlnct wonld he nc much n,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-07-27

A