Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-08-19
Facts and E1ancies.

fee.
A crying sin-Taking babies to the
play.
A four in hand is worth two in a
buggy
Cali spade spade. You may call
stockings hose.
The favorite pitcher Of the season
- ice pitcher.
To Tennessee hotel keeper is always
called 'hashmill boss"
If you arc in driving storm, don't
attempt to hold the rains
"Seven Up" is the name of new
village in Linn county, Iowa.
Laugh at No man for his pug nose
you can't tell what may turn up.
'I am inclined to do it." as the sol>
dier said when he touched his toes with
his fingers.
When pickpocket pulls at your
watch, tell him plainly that you have
no time to spare.
An Irishman said that he did not
come to this country for want. He had
an abundance of that at home
Seven hundred and thirty Massa-
chusetts men shed their wives last year.
Talk of Indiana divorces
Gent--"I say, porter, when does the
next train leave?" Irish porter-"The
next train has gone ten minutes ago. y
"Ah," yawned a bachelor, this
world is but gloomy prison IL
those in solitary confinement added
a youg lady.
The light of a match will frighteu a
wolf away, it is said. But love matches
don't always keep the wolf away from
the door.
The bloom of youth will fale away,
the brightness Of the eye viii grow dim
of age, but Il miserable little corn will
never pass away.
The bnck in Congress Park, Saratoga.
| is quite prepared for summer visitors
He puts his head through cores
/ pondent's stomach the other day.
A Minnesota school teacher, who
whipped one Of his pupils nearly to
/ death has left that pat ol the country
hy rail The rail was three corncl
| Que.
i" Are dose bells ringing for fire ?"
inquired Simon Of Tibcrius "No, in~
deed" answered Tlbe. "dcy ab got plen-
~ Of lire, aud the bells are ringing ioI
water"
A concc;ted yonng parson once said
This morning preached to u cougrc-
CATION Of asses y Il thought Of that. "
retorted lady; when you called them
your beloved brethren"
A citizen of the interior of Tennessee
went to Memphis hotel, and being
served with vermicell soup. repclled it
Indignantly, desiring to know if you
'uns ea: those internal wurrums."
Mrs Black bought the n-explosivc
kind on Tuscdy Of last week, N Amherst
and, after family prayers, blew down
she chimney. The friends and relatives
went bIackburying on Friday,
An exchange says at is not good
taste for young men to stay after ten
O'Clock when visiting young ladies ,"
Our devil says he never noticed any
difference in the taste after ten clock
He says it is good any time.
A scholar was turned out Of "A publ
school in Sutton, Massachusetts, the
other day, because he was too old nc
is over forty eight, and has a family OF
grown up children He was ambitious
he said, to "ketch up with his boys and
gals"
1t is said when Brigham Young was
asked which son he had at West Point,
the conundrum 80 staggered him that
he was obliged to refer to the family
record to solve it. ''Do they miss inc
at home 7" is not much sung in that
family.
A chary old Yankee gentleman trav-
cling out West got seat beside his
wife in crowded railway carriage, by
requesting the young man who sat by
her to please watch that woman while
he got into another carriage, as she had
fits"
A dividend is the surplus, remainder
the result, the end of transaction, di.
vided among the reholders-hence