Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1871-07-28
After Marriage.

making is fresh and sweet and alien
crossing, and the unrehecting innocents
are deluded into the belief that the bonds
of matrimony are alone needed to secure
them life Of love and Joy at the high
fever heat of these warm youthful mo-
ments. But such an anticipation of
heaven on this earth cannot be. The
heat must cool down, and the intoxica-
tion Of love sober into the tranquility of
friendship. 1t is a great matter to get
safely through this cooling process. The
danger is that. when it begins, one or
other, or both, ignorant that its cause
lies III the nature Of things, may throw
the blame ON an innocent partner, and
in his or her secret heart sigh over the
awful misfortune of dreary union.--
This would not happen so frequently as
it does if, as is not often the case, the
husband and wife were to sober down at
about the same rate. As rule, the la
dy will hold on to the billing and cooling
and tender love-making much longer
than the gentleman. 1t is the man that
cools and the wife that is broken-heart-
ed. This, though much to be regretted,
Is easy enough to understand without
considering the husband BRUTE Prob
ably men have by nature lsss tenderness
than woman. Certainly their active bus
mess lives are averse to its development,
and any considerable display of softness
on their part, is commonly sneered down
as an unmanly weakness. BY our social
arrangements women, on the other hand,
are devoted almost entirely to the exer-
else of this emotion to them love in
some shape is all in all without it their
lives are cherries and blank The slow
work of bringing the lives and pursuits
of the sexes into greater harmony, and
thereby assimilating the characters of
men and women, must be left to the un-
firing zeal of the promoters of the wo-
man-movement."
Among causes of evil lying nearer the
surface there is our system of courtship,
which seems as if specially designed for
mischief To be kind and attentive to
the object of ones affection is natural on
the part of both man and woman. But,
according to custom, the gentleman must
do all the wooing; the labor of love-
making falls to him and, as a rule, he
does not spare himself. For weeks, for
months, for years. he worships at the feet
of his fair one with compliment, fattery
and endless attentions. He seems the
slave of her smallest wish. In all this
there is much acting, often much con-
scious acting. Marriage is the dropping
of The curtain: with 1t ends the merry.
but, in its consequences, melancholy
farce. And when he sees the effects Of
the play, he sincerely wishes it had never
begun. The attentions cannot continue.
Nor is it desirable that they should
Yet, in getting them for time, women
are taught to expect them forever. The
arrangement is cruel to women. 1t is
like the practice of first spelling children,
and then Furnishing them for being spoil
ed.
OF course We can understand the ex-
travagant pre-nuptial speeches of the
bearded lover without charging him with
the least insincerity. While the lady is
yet to be won, and he is under the influ-
ence OF pentup passion and heated
imagination, he talks sentiment and
swears thousand fond, foolish impossi-
BILE things that their moons will be all
equally honeyed, and the like No doubt
he sometimes prattles in this pretty way
more because it it the fashion than for a
better reason. Often, however, he is SO
ignorant of human nature that he be-
lleves all this himself But it is the mis-
fortune of the poor girl always to believe
it. How could she doubt such charming
truth The incense of fattery is sweet,
and she likes TO pet and be petted. The
love may be perfectly genuine on both
sides, and yet with marriage there NAV
come a great falling off from all this
When the wife drops her handkerchief
the husband does not dart across the
room to save her the trouble of STOPPING.
After marriage man cannot be bother
ed telling his wife twenty times day
that he really loves her. He thinks she
should take that for granted. And the
excess of fondling and caressing in
which he INDUCED, and for time en-
joyed, gradually loses its zest and be-
comes tiresome to him, especially when
he has, as most men have, business and
important outdoor interests to occupy
his thoughts. But men are not all pure
and women do not know how !
often their loving embraces, though they
interrupt the busy thoughts, and are felt
to be out of season, are nevertheless pa