South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-04-07
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
pR1Na GooDs-skeleton Skirts.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
4 SPRING GooDs-Skeleton Skirts.
To PROTECT THE CHEsr-Put a lock
on it.
A COOPERATIVE MovEMENT-The
tread mill
A THING that should take well with the
! public-Vaccination.
| A COOP INvEsTMENT-A policy in the
Mutual Life, of Chicago.
WHY should fisherman be rich? Be-
cause his is all net profit.
"HIs forehead extended to the gable
end of his neck" means he was bald
headed.
THE moon furnishes the first instance on
record of trust. She shines with borrowed
light
JAMES GORDON BENNETT, of the New
York Herald, is said to have fortune of
$10,O0O,0vO.
You've women should set good exam
pies, for the young men are always follow
ing them.
THoUGH "old age is honorable" many
people hate to confess it-they will dye
|
whose age is twelve years and six months.
The hurband is forty.
INNOCENCE is like an umbrella-when
once we have lost it we may never hope
to see it back again.
THE dividends of the Washington Life
are made and paid in cash or insurance,
annually, from date of policy.
THE difference between a watch-key
and captain on the lookout for squalls is,
that one winds the watch, the other
watches the wind.
THE chap who took the thread of life
to sew the rent of house has gone and
invented patent point for cross-eyed
needles.
WHAT pleased the japanese best in our
financial system was General Spinner's
signature. They read it at once, as CLASH
cal japanese.
A SOUR old bachelor makes the remark
that girl who is now termed beautiful
blonde would few years ago have been
called "tow-head."
A MASSACHUSETTS boy told his mother,
on returning home the other day, that
George Washington's widow had been in
hisschool begging money TO help repair
his tomb.
LIVING on twenty-five cents a day and
street begging, enabled old Jean Pierron,
of New Orleans, to leave $150,000 when
he died the other day.
A SPRINGFIELD, Ill, girl sold her lover
to another girl for black silk dress, and
SO managed matters that the couple were
married within q month after the bargain
was made.
hnd falw
where discarded lover murdered the girl
timid "old maids met together and
unanimously resolved never to reject an
offer
the people ask, What property has he
bend over his grave, inquire, what good
deeds hast thou sent before thee?'"
AT large dinner, given a short time
ago at New York, the names of the
guests, designating their places at the
table, were painted on rubber balloons,
which were ioated over the table, being |
fastened to long strings, one to the stem of
each persons goblet.
ONE T. NJ. Badger, of Brownsville, |
Texas, has been a candidate for the Legis- |
lature thirty nine times, and has never had |
the remotest chance of success. He threat
ems to continue running while he lives,
from the mere force of habit. He believes
that to be elected would cause his death,
from the shock of surprise.
AMONG other new and ingenious meth
DDS of obtaining publicity in Paris, is that
of "the dog advertisement" A booksel-
er, who publishes q guide, sends dogs |
about the streets, with small, handsome |
card attached to their ears, on which Is 1
printed, Don't travel without my guide"
the name and address being given under
meath.
THE powerful effects of ice masses,
when started in streams by spring freshets, |
has been illustrated in the Penobscot.
Huge cakes were tilted high in air, and
raised one upon another, to height esti-
mated from ten to thirty feet. Masses |
weighing hundreds of tons were thrown |
upon a road adjoining the river, while
other masses ground out great paths Tor |
themselves in the river bed.
THE PhrenOlogicdl Journal, in reply 10 |
the query, Why is it there are no bald
headed women 2" says: Some women are /
partially bald, though it is not very COM
mon" It attributes the difference to |
boards, whichs takes the hair element |
another way, arresting it before it can rise |
to the top, and also to "overwarm and air |
tight hats"
A CHICAGO detective made bet few |
days ago that Forester was not the MUIR
derer of Nathan, and that he could write |
the names of three men, two of whom |
would be convicted of the crime within |
one year. He wrote three names on a |
slip of paper which was enclosed in a !
sealed envelope and put in charge OF a
third person TO await results.
DOCTOR" said nervous patient, Al
had such disagreeable dreams last night
1 dreamt that my grandfather stood by my
bed for hours, shaking his cane at me"
"What did you drink before you went to
bedY' "Oh, nothing but halfa bottle OF
MaderiaI' "Well, if you had drank the
other half you would doubtless have also
seen your grandmother standing by your
bed, threatening you with broomstick-"
A VERY rare and beautiful medallion of
BENJAMIN Franklin, struck in III, was
lately presented to the Massachusetts,
Historical Society. tits believed to have
been the first ever made of clay in France.
The face of the old philosopher on this
medallion gives one the impression OF
Younger and more vigorous and active man
than one gets from the ordinary portraits
of Franklin.
A GENTLEMAN of Boston, desiring to
ascertain the whereabouts of the widow of
late brother officer in the army, wrote to
headquarters at Washington for informa-
ton. From there letter of inquiry was
forwarded to Austin, Texas, and the Off
Ger in charge there wrote 10 the former
post of the deceased officer, about three
hundred miles into the interior. A reply
was returned to Austin, from there 1t was
sent to Washington, and in seven weeks
] time the gentleman in Boston received IN