Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-01-20
CURRENT ITEMS.

CURRENT ITEMS.
BOUND TO BE UNBOUND - Divorce
seekers.
MUTUAL FRIENDs-Kerosene and coro-
ners.
SOMETHING ALWAYS ON HAND-Your
thumb.
DOMESTIC BRoILs-Steal1s cooked at
home.
THE richest man is the one with the
fewest wants.
ANTHONY TRoLLoPE says that good
digestion is heaven on earth"
THE Washington Life is one of the old
est New York companies.
THERE were 1 1,250 violent deaths and Al
homicides in New York during the past
year.
A LADY has been appointed one Of the
stenographers to the Supreme Court of
Maine.
PAUL MoRPHY is practicing law in
New Orleans, and has practically aban-
doned chess
THE city newspapers are full of adver-
tisements for plain cooks. We suppose
pretty cooks have no occasion to advertise
at all.
A PAPER has an article headed with the
conundrum: "Why do Wives Fade?"
We sunpose it is because they won't
wash
UNDER the head of "Lost Races of
America" gentleman is getting up list
of the celebrated horses which have been
beaten.
FoRETHouGHT and prudence both say
insure your life. Take their advice, and
insure in the Mutual Life Insurance Com
pany, Of Chicago.
WE are told the evenings wore on"
but we are never told what the evening
wore on that occasion. Was it the close of
summers day?
A VERY penurious lady was so affected
by charity sermon, on a recent occasion,
as to borrow a dollar from her own neigh
Dor and put it in her own pocket.
OF the 355,277 beef cattle sent into the
New York market last year, the State of
Illinois furnished 204,131. Texas comes
the next in the list being credited with
40557.
WE have often wondered where all the
blind people come from; but it is plain
now. There is blind factory at Eliza
beth, N. j., where large numbers are
turned out every year.
"MR. JONES, 1 understand you said
sold you a barrel of cider that had water
in it," "No, nc" was the reply, -' only
said that you sold me a barrel Of water
with a little cider in il"
Mr.. TERRY, who lives in Peru, Ind, has
chair which has been in the family one
hundred years. The same gentleman has
clock which has been running forty
seven years, stopping only three times for
oil.
TIMOTHY HANDLIN, the boy-burglar of
Vermont; has confessed in court, at Mont
pelier, to twenty different burglaries,
besides numerous petty larcenies. His
bail was gwen at $4,000, and he went to
Jail in default.
THE tide run out so low at New London
Conn, recently, that the oysters were
frozen to death in their beds. They
should have had a sheet on their beds;
sheet of water would have been better
than nothing.
BY AN OLD BACHELOR:
When to my arms parent gives
A babe she deems the best that lives
A little fright il may be;
Compelled TO say word OF praise,
/ murmur AZ | fondly gaze,
"Wel, I've seen many in my days,
But this one ia babyV
/
| that in her laws in regard TO the property of
married women, and the admission of evil
dence in criminal trials, she has the most
| civilized code in the world.
THOMAS HIGGs, an English peddler of
pictures, in Charleston, S. c., made bet,
ON the 9th ultimo, that he could drink all
the wine a companion would furnish.
Higgs lost, and was buried on New Years
day.
THE sixty minutes between IL and II
o'clock, on the night of the 31st ult., were
memorable as the last hour of the last day
of the last week of the last month of the
last year of the decade ending with 1870
Such coincidence will not occur again in
over eighty years.
A SLIGHT MISTAKE" Pray, bestow
your charity, young gentleman, on poor
blind man." said beggar to person
passing by. "If you are blind, my good
fellow, how did you know that | was
young" ooh, sir, | made mistake,
said the beggar; pray, give a trifie to
poor dumb man,
ITwas said, some years ago, in the House
of Representatives, at Washington, that &
gentleman, who was known to have very
good appetite, had eaten awayhis senses
"Pooh = replied Henry Clay they woulc
not be a mootIJm to himp
THE first number of the State Re3iSter
published at Carson City, Nevada, con
tains this marriage notice: "ln this city
2Sth December, by Judge Waltz, All Hing
to Miss Toy Woon, both of the FlowerN
Kingdom. No cards-no cake-no sabe.'
THE heroic firemen of South Adams
Mass, held ladder at a fire, the other day
while the podB woman who owned tn
house clambered up and into the second
story window, got out the furniture, and
descended, alive but nearly sufiocated
Such gallantry is rare, we are happy u
believe, among tiremen.
A BAvARIAN officerin France found on
of his men cleaning a chicken. Halo /!
, cried he, "fellow, where did you get tina
chicken? Don't you know that stealin
, has been forbidden on pain of death
A peasant woman gave it TO me" wa
the answer. "And what did she say ?
: "Well, she didn't say much. She onl
cried"
Two Emeralders working on ne'
G building were dry, and one bet the other
8 pint of whisky that he could not carry hil
y to the roof in his hod. No sooner sal
4 than done. Mike shOuldered Pat, and a
4 ter slow and painful tugging, dumpe
the precious burden on the roof. Al
s Mikey, my boy" said Pat, rather cres
# fallen, "you've won the bet; but min
yez, as yez was passin' the fourth stor
; yez stumbled, an had hopes"
IS AT a recent funeral at Newport, r.
!, instead of hearse being used to conv(
(, the remains to their last resting place, {
{, express wagon, completely enveloped
u eyerqreens inside and out, was used i
4, that purpose. A raised dais in the cent
1f of the wagon, also covered with eve
green's, sustained the coffin, which W
* profusely decked with flowers. The no
r city was in accordance with the express