The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-04-08
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
rttSln eOst 81 900 hundred. delivered, in
1EatA .onable party should be called a
~ = -tultnral show"
AZ Il 4, % sass - for the French goose becomes
= 1t the German gauder. In fact We may
n * he only idol that is worshipped in all
. ri:iput a temple, and by all sects without
tity .EzG -1 Eztz
III '.IDuld there be no free seats in a church ?
20 4ou ought not to be made good for
- sDung fellow Indignantly when called a
- 11n't you call me boy; I've chewed
60 ltesc six years."
ny girl thinks she can do nothing without
"a and when she gets one, finds she can
ithin:y with him. . ..f
! arti-kissing society has been formed by the
Ir,> Ii., girls. - No kissing before mar
- = heir motto.
o<tp the city has got so deep into debt
Dne iAif of his creditors have been unable
e hIia Tor months.
sTer r0abIe trouble till trouble troubles you
'ro,ib y rarely troubles people who never
Die t|rnselyes about trouble.
To1 cd little sun and air. said physi-
- naiden patient. .'If 1 dO,'' was the
/, - n wait till get husband ~
stt,7t young woman says there is nothing
e asIng in this life than to a poor but
ora pung man struggling with a weak
Dfkola girl, of great beauty. can "put her
~ the back of horse and jump clean
al1 fEithOut touching hair" Saw-hOrse,
5er1. why am members of Congress like de
q / dUn't neddle Wild de subiec,
;. e Why, don't you see, nigga, dey's SO
e l<bate.'
1tn rligious people abuse their bodies by
rites, is it strange that irreIigious people
, tieir bodies by vices? The one sin is
s.z lnischievous as the other.
10 40 paper, instead of the usual headings
1fn tetrothed, Married, Eloped, Divorced,
t tsfisntes 50 Hatched, Matched, Patched,
eheL Detatched, Dispatched.
IL = the prevailing style of post mortem
d rt# in Cincinnati =
"A 4 f1'ye Ieft sor a better place.
+ Il \ mans on in the sky;
= 80 sing, while smiles play Ger your face,
A Oh how 10 this for hight"
b ~ miser, who was notorious for self
i = one day asked why he was so thin.
know said the miser '' have tried
'ts .neans for getting fatter, but without
3& Have you ever tried yictuals ?' in
q ~ friend.
81 other day, while a teacher was hearing a
ejFB has lesson, the following passage oc-
- q The wages of sin is death >" The
bar fishing to get the word s' wages " out
( <l11tion, asked. '' what does your father get
/ Aturday night?'' The boy answered
} Ply, ''he gets drunk -
~ was a stinsy old creature, eager for
{ Dot he was a Jealous member of a church.
f1fntatIous 10 his religious exercises.
.E-[ said Catharine to her brother, =. what
rFe made that stingy old wretch Chris
!" eau tell yOu," said John, - he has
pat the streets of the New Jerusalem are
'ls Fith gold, and he is determined to get
rtpuch indebted customer enters provision
fnarklng. III take leg of mutton.
10 pay FOR H. "An rights replies
Rr. handing forth the meat, which Gus
r FRkss and starts 70 90. 81 Look 'er here. -
.ff dealer, :" thought you said you wanted
~ for it," $50 [ do" WIS The renII
a can't" The dealer looked JityIe
~ at being sold himself and not selling the
+ Barter for cash in hand
4 ENkxPEcTED INcrDESr. other evenin,
Fh Theatre, where Riehelieu is still run
ms incident occurred The Cardinal. at
of one of the must effective acts in the
<ciaIms. you remember, as Francs, NV
my welded wife, who slialf proclaim
tNLxs thee and me? - The whole house
ff ued but a moment after Booths meIo-
7 ,oiee had died away, a deep voice spoke
nc Ii IN answer to the rhetorical cues
ne one word Chicago" For a few
ene audience did not appreciate the lest
Ten u dId low litter Increased into ,a,;erai i
,4.er all over the theatre. e''''- o.
PAPER ExcHXNGEs.-The Nex yo.,- IT.:
3feorus tue following: "a newspaper comes
a rioiiHe from q Western city with tb;s IN
ient upon the margin: Y or be damned +,
E<ernatTve is fearful, but, as of two aS;1s
'ts7o1Lne makes it a rule always to choose ~
declines to y. A little story, il nm.
te mere Some years age a Young man pF
and good tasje went to hear a well know,
preach. Getting disgusted before the ser-
es half through, he left hls seat and was
~ MS tlp-toe toward the door, when the
roared out :: g Young man, had Won
go to hell than hear me preach?' Some.
.artied at hrst, the young man faced about,
"a graceful bow. responded, On the
parson, L think i WOULD" -tsa.F :
- loiiow1ng story is told at the expense Of
5skosn ("ls.) lawyer: One Smith had failed
tsiness ana sold out, and having two or three
~ itlie oilis, had given them to this LAWYER
Fuection- Smith vent to the Office to receive
proceeds. The amount collected was abor,t
L IN sorry you've been SO unfortunate
"a. tor take great interest in YOU
cnarge you as much as 1 should if didn't
so m1en interest In you" Here he handed
10 SIS, and kept the balance. Won SEE
fh, knew you when you were q bow. and /
your father before you, and 1 take a GOOD
t tot interest in, you. Good morning. Come
see me again" Smith, moving slowly on,
sLe door. and ruefully contemplating tbe
e, was heard TO mutter ssThank God Won
Know my grandfather.