The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1871-11-11
A Model LOve.Letter.

Jdto commercial ddcefttSer, was one of those
rare and peculiar cases-breach of promise
of marraige-and occupied the greater part
Of the forenoon. From the evidence, it ap-
pears that the parties live in or near Onon-
daga, that Harris had been frequent WISH
tor for about two years and had half at the
house of the plaintiff widow woman of
nearly thirty years of age, with three chill
dren. 1t seems to have been the opinion of
the friends of the plaintiff land no doubt
she thought SO herself that Harris would
marry her; but he Harris form some un-
accountable cause, few mouths ago, sud-
denly discovered that he loved another
young lady better, and verified this belief
short time since by marrying that other
lady. Hence this action was brought by
the plaintiff to recover damages to apply as
slave to her wounded affections. The
following tender epistle, sent by the loving
swain, will interest our readers, and we
recommend it as model love story:
My DEAR Mrs. M.:-Every time think
of you my heart tlops up and down like a
churndasher. Sensation of unutterable Joy
caper over it like young goats on stable
roof, and thrill through it like Spanish
needle through a pair of linen trousers
As gosling swimmeth with delight in
mud-puddle, so | swim in a sea of glory.
Visions of ecstatic rapture thicker than the
hairs of backing brush, and brighter
than the eyes of humming birds pinions,
visit me in my slumbers; and borne on
their Invisible wings, your image stands be-
fore me, and | reach out to grasp it like a
pointer swapping at blue bottle fly. When
| first beheld your angelic projections 1
was bewildered, and my brain whirled
around like a hummng- bee under glass
tumbler. My eyes stood open like cellar
doors in country town, and l lifted up
my ears to catch the silvery accents of your
voice. My tongue refused to wag, and in
silent alteration | drink in the sweet infec-
ton of love as a thirsty man swalloweth a
tumbler of hot whisky punch.
''Since the light of your face fell upon
my life, l sometimes feel as if I could lift
myself up by the boot straps to the top of
the church steeple, and pull the bell rope
for singing-school. Day and night you are
in my thought. When Aurora, blushing
like bride, rises from her saffron couch;
when the jay-bird pipes his tuneful lay in
the apple tree, by the spring house; when
the chandeliers shrill clarion heralds the
coming morn; when the awakening pig
arises from his bed and grunteth, and goeth
for his mornings refreshments; when the
drowsy beetle wheels to droning flight at
sultry noontide; and when the lowing herds
come home atmilking time, think of thee,
and like piece of elastic, my heart seems
stretched clear across my bosom. Your
hair is like the name of horse, powered
with gold; and the brass pins skewered
through your waterfall fill me with I'M
bounded awe. Your forehead is smoother
than the elbow of an old coat. Your eyes
are glorious to behold. In their LIQUID
depths | see legions Of little cupids bathing
like cohort of ants in an old army crack
er. When their fire hit me upon my breast
it penetrated my whole anatomy, as load
of bird-shot through rotted apple. Your
nose is like chunk of Parian marble, and
your mouth is puckered with sweetness.
Nectar fingers on your lips like honey on
bears paw, and myriads of unfedged kiss
es are there, ready to fly out and light some
where, like blue birds out of their parents
nest.-4our laugh rings in my ears like
the wind harp's strain, or the bleat of the
stray lamb on bleak hill side. The dim
pies on your cheeks are like bowers in the
beds of roses, or hollows in cakes of home
made sugar.
81 am dying for thy presence, and pour
out the burning eloquence of my love, as
thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee
away from you, | am as melancholy as
sick rat. Sometimes can hear the June
bugs of dependency buzzing in my ears
and feel the cold Lizards of despair crawl
ing down my back. Uncouth fears like a
thousand minnows nibble at my spirits;
and my soul is pierced with doubts like an
old cheese is bored with shippers.
"My love for you is stronger than the
smell of Coffey's patent butter, or the kick
of young COW, and more unselfish than a
kittens first caterwaul. AS a song bird
bankers for the light of day. the cautious
mouse for the fresh bacon in the trap. as a
mean pup bankers for new milk, so l long
for thee.
"You are farer than speckled pullet,
sweeter than Yankee doughnut fried in
sorghum molasses, brighter than a top-knot
plumage on the head of muscovy duck.
You are candy, kisses, raisins, pound cake
and sweetened toddy altogether
" If these few remarks will enable you
to see the inside of my soul, and me to win
your affections, shall feel as happy as a
wood pecker on cherry tree, or a stage
horse in green pasture. If you cannot
my thrilling passions, l will
pine away like a poisoned bedbug, and fall
away; from a flourishing vine of life, an
branch; and in coming years
when the shadows grow from the hills and
the philosophical frog sings his cheerful
evening hymn, you, happy in another's
love can come and drop a tear and catch
cold upon the last resting place of
"Yours affectionately, H"
Verdict for plaintiff, and $500 damages.