Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-12-21
Answers to Correspondents.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


BY JOSH BILLINGS
JAKE.-Man's moral and hisikal life IL
made up ov bye laws, and constitushun,
and if he will take good kare ov the bye
laws the constitushun will take kare ov
itself.
The fewer bye laws man haz the bet
ter, only hav them good, and see to it that
they are well executed.
knO Ov lots ov men who are all bye
laws, and no constitushun, and then agin
/ knO of sum men who are all cOnstitu-
shun, and no bye laws.
IF l kant hav but one, give me the con-
stitushun.
JoHN.-Flattery IL very powerful
stimulant, but its graf strength lays in be-
ing dclikately administered.
Thare liz some men who will take it az
they dew hasty puddin and milk, just gap,
and swallow
Honest flattery STAINS in the same rela-
shun tew just praze that interest duz tew
money.
Every man IL entitled tew the interest
on hiz mummy, and per cent. of ilattery
wont hurt any man who IL honestly enti-
tied tew the principal.
Flattery alwuz makes wise man hum
BILE and kerful, but it haz the same eilek
on phool that u band of musk haZ on
plough boss, the fust time he hears it.
AMos.-Doktors are not all quaks, yu
hav got wrong noshuns about this.
Doktors, lawyers, and ministers hay
hard row to no, they hav to deal with the
kredulity, knavery, and fears ov the peo-
pie, three ov the most diffikult traits in
human natur few handle.
If l waz doktor, and understood mi
bzzness, should doht0r mi psshunts, and
let the disease take kare ov itself.
More folksar kured this way than emmy
other.
It amt much trouble tew doktor SIGH
folks, but tew doktor the well ones IL
bothersum.
If / waz lawyer / would-quit the
bzzness the fust good chance | got
If i waz minister, and had tcw preach
the gospel tew mi people, whoze religion,
nine tenths ov them, waz the rezult ov
their fears, and who want willing tew Civ
me but four hundred and fifty dollars
year, (half store pay, and the rest after
harvesD should resighn mi charge, and
enter that field az missionary.
ENoCH-Thare liz nothing more wuss,
tew young man, just commencing tew
slide down the hill ov life, than too much
inkredulty
cnce than bi precept, and inkredulity IL the
child Ov precept; thare liz CRATE risk In be-
ing wiZe before our time.
When see a yung man who liz SUSPECT
Gus ov every thing he sees, think he
wants more watching than one who amt
afraid ov nothing.
Suspicion aint app tew make man
wizc, but it haz made sum dredful Running
kritters.
Running and innosense don't gro on the
same push very plenty, but if they do, one
oy them liz the thorns, and the other the
flowers
LUTHER.-Thare liz things in this world
pesky hard to do, and suit your custom
ers, one is keeping distrikt skool, and the
other liz, being mother in law.
Emmy man, or woman, who kan keep
distrikt skool, and Civ general satisfack-
shun, amt good for nothing.
A good distrikt skoolmaster IL like an
undertaken, dreaded hi every boldly. :.
1t takes smart woman tew be sue
| cessful mother in law.
don't think, from what kan larn,
that this IL "A good year for mothers in law,
i hear a good deal ov complaint about
them.
Thare IL only one way tew suckceed in
| the mother in law bizzness, and that liz,
don't run after yure children, but keep
! back, and let them hunt for WI.
Good mothers in law don't liv mulch
| nearer than Is miles Ov their children, and
! alwus let the children do the heft ov the
visiting
MARK-Yu say yu are about tew begin
| lifc and want tew begin right, and yu
ask me how tew do it.
First, az to yure religion, mi advice liz,
that yu adopt a leetle to time.
Commence with this, ''d0 unto others
az yu would hav them do unto yu.''
| After yu hav got this well larnt, will
Civ yu another dose.
The great trouble with nu beginners IL,
they undertake tew raize more religion
than they kan lift, and the konsequentZ
IL, they git discouraged, and loze their
grip.
To much religion IL the wust thing in
the world tew lift.
Az for the bizzness yu intend tew fol-
Ter, emmy thing that liz honest, IL honor
| abel, but wouldn't be a boss jockey, for
don't kare how Plus man IL, shopping
bosses will make him kareless
In reference tew Citing marrid, hay
got but one rule for that, which don't
vary, Marry Yung, and marry for luo!"
This will win seven times out ov ten,
and the other three times are respektabel
plumbers tew make-Neac York Weekly.
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AN annie tree in NIAGARA County N