Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-04-08
GATHERINGS BY THE WAYSlDE.

An English manufacturer has lately
filled war order to make q million qui-
nine pills in fortnight. 7'. t.
Always laugh when you emit is a
cheap medicine Mirthtuness is a philos-
ophy not well understood. 1t is the sunny
side Of existence.
"A sick man was told that his wife
would probably marry again. Gal! right"
said be, " for there will be one man that
will lament my death"
- New Hampshire man who was ar
rcstel for selling liquor, rcvcnycd himself
upon the mln who informed against him
by cutting off the tail of his horse.
However many friends you have, do
not neglect yourself; though you have u
THOUSAND, not one of them loves you 50
much as You ought to love yourself ..
The cheese manufacture of New York
is growing to stupendous proportions.
Twelve hundred fictor!es are now in oper-
alton, making one million pounds yearly.
--Daughtcr-" Well, to tell the truth
/ don't think much of the close of the SER
mon." Father" Perhaps you were think
ing more Of the clothes Of the cJnyrega.
ton"
Big sis;er-"O papa! l must 90 to
hear Nilsson: you know I am so fond of
music" Juvenile brother, triumphant.
ly)-" Theu why don't YOU let me play on
my drum
The average price of cotton last year
was 800 bale, and the aggregate value of
the crop, s3l ,0oo,oOO. This year the av-
cragc price is about S6), and the value of
the crop will be s2l0, 100000. "..
-" What is a rcbuss?" innoccntly ask :
ed lovely miss of black eyed lad Iu,-
printing kiss on her lips, he replied, " if
you will return the compliment, that will
be re buss ?" She was satisfied with the
information.
-Aprofessor Of mathematics in West
crn college has fl cured out to his class the
exact Dimensions of Heaven. He decides
that it contains but l 800 square miles, and
bases his calculations upon the 2lst chap.
ter of Revelations. .s.l.
The worst fooled thief on record is
Mississippi chap, who, the other day, stole
the heaviest carpet.bag he could find in
the depot, and after carrying it five miles,
opened it and found the contents to be q
half hundred of bibles. a. rt.
A little girl in Ohio, about three years
old, after being corrected the other day for
something she had done, said: "Ma,
wish whipping cost something" "Why,"
replied the mother. Because" said little
pert, "you never give me anything that
costs something"
AT an old folks re union in the town
ofWinsboro, Maine, lately, the united years
Of the FIVE oldest was 400, or an average of
81 years for each one. One old lady trav-
ellcd twelve miles to the re union, with
mercury 20 degrees below zero, and did
not consider it cold either
A gentleman observed a stone roll
down staircase. 1t bumped on every
stair till it came to the bottom; there, Of
course, it rested. "That stone" said he,
resembles the national debt of my couu
try; it has bumped on every grade of the
community, but its weight rests on the
lowest"
"A Boston grocer, who excited the ire
OF one of his customers by presenting at
his house his bill for goods rendered, was
waited on soon after by daughter Of the
debtor, who said: II wish you wouldn't
come with that bill when fathers home-it
makes him nervous to be duuued." The
grocer apologized. .. -5 .....
Alta Juvenile party young gentle
man about seven years old kept himself
from the rest of the company. The lady
OF the house called to him "Come and
. play and dance. my dear. Choose one of
those pretty girls for your wife" Not
likely" cried the young cynic. "No wife
1or me DO you think want TO be worried
out Of my life, like poor papa?"