Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-11-09
MsCEILANEoUs. ~

I
4 When is a sailor not a sailor?-w When
he,s aboard. La zsiYs s.sal % -
i When isa barber not a bsrbers--
When he's shaving.
4 Cannons are firedat vieksburg daily to
purify the air. aau
SOME musicians put on more airs
than they play. s.......e-.
John" -'-''
1t is no uncommon thing for hot
words to produce GOODNESS.
An Indiana chestnut tree is in bios
som for the third time this year. -
What can man have in his pocket
when its empty?-A big hole.
An oIeaginous fact-Whale a boy
and you III find him full Of blubber.
!, Autumn M leayes-when winter comes
! ~ lrs.1e,, rnihl9 -asT 5F1 v.5f
| Paper eallersTPeoplewho leave their
Railroad Hsleepefs"- night pat
rons OF palace cars.
Observation-Disclosures is Ger
man, ,s'fof short" for horse car.
Question-.What is the cause of the
lsaltness of the water of the ocean p
Answer-The Goldfish. ea5 sli1u
Since January i've of Brigham
Young's mothers-fn-law have died.
Their loss was his gain. - 50 roI1ibala
In conversation a wise man NAV NOT
know how to begin, but a fool never
knows when TO stop.qssz ~ gsss3s
Resolutions of ssthanks to God and
the. .policesOf the city, were passed at
an Ibllnt Indianapolis meeting. m
INSTRUMENTATION -Asthe. season of
parties approa hes, boys begin 10 feel
gallant and gals" buOyant.
The, burned Chicago buildings. if
set side by side would reach one thous-
and miles. l42k lsSi4i sti3 aE-s 1sl-o
There is q man in New York so
proud that he WON'T keep his own com
pany!dorfear Of degrading himself. ~
Jack Keteh being sasked on what
he laiEAed the clothes of those he hang
ed, a swered as the executor 9sess7
The King of Sam offered Mr.. Sew
ard an elephant during his visit toithat
country He was forced. though re-.
luetantly, to decline the present.
1t is estimated that enough paper
has been consumed q in writing about
tthhe me Chicago fire to lputa girdlea around
Cadlz hae raised over 500 for the suf-
ferers by IRE in the Northwest. We
have. heard no reports from the town.
shlps.o is.E vsS -ji IiIix i0r sTuic1 -
-tsMy son, ,1ssaid man of douotful
morals, putting his hand on the head
Of Il young urchin; 81 believe the devil
has got hold of you," 81 believe so
too, |" was the reply -. q "a s'''-,'-3
a rich man asked poor person If he
! nad any IDEA OF the advantages arising
from riches. UP Believe they give a
dishonest man 1.-The advantage over an
henestm " was the reply. 4ab l-.aos
A year old baby boy; beginning to
walk, is by no means a coed eucher
niayer because he insists upon ..going
~ .afl.1 ~
A New Orleans lady boasts that her
hair IS five feet ten inches long. 1t is
lot stated whether or not this vast
apillary adornmentis is q grated article.
The complete ejlhpseo of Chicago, and
b n1odesty yindueedE ( by misery, Isl mo-
where more, manifest thanis this head
ag ,ig in one ofthe papers -7.4.probable
s"Flannel, receptions are in vogue,
It Is SAID to be another name for those
parties where the young ladies sew an
apur for the poor, and thendaHee three
OF Joy-sEiI afii 2nis5iId isaa eliid 1a-
Josh Billings ssay$ Eight Won't 90,
nto six and have anything left over.
Many. a young. fellow has found this
'ut = trying to geta number. six boot
IN. .t9i - na7l 1.ra t-tii-isi ri7al-siiils.l
The Williams Review opposes the
Omission OF girls into colleges. hut
avs If they are determined 10 scenle.
he students iofthat college WI Hwel-
ome them with open arms 81, ss.r
-Ithas been settled by actual measure
nent thai. the burnt district of Chiago-
) four and a half miles in length, with
verage width Of one mile. That puts
a end to 'fheffyelafile.story. 'Fii eeiieia
AaiexcKange says - a'A man forty
ears Old,sat Shelby Depot, Tenn,
n0urled his wife for six months, and
hen married his motherin-law, aged
o.: That man may have ma ried her,
ut We shall always believe that she
narried him. iis ~ bs1oai eYHa liaoT
1t fscheerful to be Sitting in rail-
Dad car going at the nate of forty miles
N hOur, and haye a man pass through
nd leave, a tract in, your lap entitled
Prepare to Meet your God. .-..l.'. -.
The editor of the Leslie, Mich, Her
ID, maddened by the "big apple''
TENS going the rounds ofthe press, un-
lushingly acknowledges the receipt Of
u apple weighing u TONS s.if5 s'l.1
Mr. Sasb, of TuscsrAwss County, en-
cred a dark room in Search OF his over
oat. Encountering a. fea her bed
lhich had been left on the floor, be
ickei it up and threw it on a bed in
which an infant was sleeping. Some
ime after Mrs. Saab went into the
o0m after her child, and, discovered
hat it had been smothered to odeath.
A young man Just married, being
on, his. MARI age, was
sked where be married his vile. He
aid in Reading. "Ah!' spoke up
with deep feeling, "thoses
leading gals make cleyerwives; / have
ad three of 'em."
8 Mary. where's the frying pans''
"Eddie's got it earting mud and clam
hells up the alley, with the. cat for
OrSe s,al-a'i - ' 'it
.s'The dear little felIow! what pc
i0us ne will make. But go and get
J. Mere going to have company, and