South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-09-22
A Plea for Xantippe.
pYrHE arAr ooNrRIBuroR.'

BY TIE FAT CONTRIBUTOR
THERE was an unfortunate female whose
name is q synonym for "scold," whom the
world may have judged too harshly, and,
recalling her, l am constrained to Write q
plea In her behalf.
Who can tell, at this late day, what an
noyances, irritstions and insutferable vex'
atoms resulted in rendering Xantippe the
scold she was? She might have been, and
undoubtedly was, an amiable young wo.
man when Socrates married her. AS good
humor implies a sort of easy Indifference
to the cares of life, she must indeed have
possessed g~ood-nstured attributes, or she
would have inquired and found out how
poorly calculated Philosophy is to support
a family on She probably knew very
little of Socrates, except through reputa,
ton, when he asked for and obtained her
hand. She saw his name mentioned very
frequently in the papers as the Great Phi
losopher. She had heard him quoted as
authority in philosophical matters; had
known half of Athens to flock together
for the purpose of listening to his talk,
and had perhaps drowsed through one OF
his lectures herself.
Her vanity was naturally gratified at be-
coming the wife of 1.-THE Greatest Philos-
opher in the World" as the lyceums inva-
riably billed him. Perhaps, in her girlish
romance and Ignorance, she thought he
possessed the philosophers stone she had
read about, which transmutes everything,
not excepting greenbacks, into gold. Or
she might have pictured him as some time
filing the Presidential chair, and she mis-
tress of the White House, as Horace Gree
ley, 81. NJ" and other well-known phi
losophers who had aspired to that exalted
station.
What q waking up it must have been
when she discovered what sort of a men
the greatest philosopher in the world real
ly was, and what In improbable lire of
business he pursued As a classic though
practical Greek remarked, it was "al talk
and no cider" 1t might have been most
excellent philosophy that he gave the peo-
pie, winning much applause, but it rarely
brought bread.
If overcoming his repugnsnce to any
sction that would appear mercenary, he
allowed his hat to be passed around after
one Of his philosophic bursts in the market
place, some one invariably ran off with
the collection, besides stealing his hat. He
lectured Young Mems Christian Associa-
tons for nothing and found himself, and
travelled around the country on foot at his
" Ca PCuCC, O1Sou4LAus COlOO4o IL pm
losophy, thereby seriously impairing his
entire philosophical apparatus.
She found that philosophers were gener-
ally out of money when rent became due,
and only prepared to respond to calls from
his butcher and baker with sage and philo-
sophical msxims and disquisitions. Clean
clothes they were sublimely Indifferent to,
and they never were regular to their
meals.
No use to get up a good dinner for
Socrates, as no n could tell when he
would be at home to eat it. He washed
very rarely, and let his hair grow long,
greatly to the disgust of Xantippe, who
was a neat woman herself. So much
wrapped up was he in philosophy that he
would only half dress himself in the
morning, and he appeared on the street so
often in his stocking feet that the boys
dubbed him "Old Soc"
He would come to his house at a late
hour of the night, bringing a lot of brother
philosophers with him, and want Xantippe
to get up and cook them a supper. On
such occasions she would tell Socrates to
feed them some Of his philosophy and let
them digest that.
What wonder that the life she was COM
PEELED to lead resulted in rendering Kan
tippe peevish and cross. 1t would sour
the sweetest disposition in the world, most
assuredly. Had she lived in our day she
might bave found an outlet for her i'll
humor, as numerous testy and petulent fe-
males now do, on the rosirum; but Wo-
mans Rights were unknown in Xantippe's
time, so she vented all her spleen upon her
husband. She would have applied for a
divorce; but, alas for the disappointed and
Unmatched ones of that period, Chicago
was not then discovered.
She began to make it very warm for him
whenever he came home, and scolded,
fretted and fumed day and night. She de-
clared if she were to marry again, and had
TO choose between a natural philosopher
and natural bonn fool, she would take the
fool, sure!
1t is not recorded, 1 believe, who made
the hemlock tea which Socrates was COM
PEELED by his judges to drink as a punish
ment for setting a shiftless example before
the Athenian youth, but 1 suspect it was
Xantippe herself, ana l can imagine the
cheerful alscrity with which she did it.
The sublime philosophy which sustained
him as he drank the poison was doubtless
equaled by the heroic resignation with
which Xantippe saw him depart-Cincine
natl Times.