The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1871-06-01
THE DARwINIAN THEORY.

THE DARWINIAN THEORY.
sEoUEscE-rHEy HOLD An INDIGNATION MEETING.
| Darwln's theory concerning the descent OF
man is creating tremendous sensation among
the monkeys They have just heard of it, and
are terribly exercised. They repudiate tho
whole theory. That man descended from them
they consider a slur on the entire monkey
race.
A cage of John Robinsons monkeys held an
indignation meeting over the matter the other
day, after the performance A venerable
chimpanzee, whose gray hairs entitled him to
the distinction, was made chairman, and sit
ting in q swing presided with the dignity. He
got little excited in his speech as he took the
chair, but this was pardonable under the cir
cumstances aWhat." exclaimed this vener-
able babooa, Man descended from u.s." I
repudiate the idea with scorn. True, we have
our faults.
1--WE are accused of cutting up monkey
shines sometimes, and not without cause; but
this attempt to make us father the human race
is tho much. Is is not enough that poverty re-
quires us to travel around the country in this
manner to make living; to exhibit ourselves
to gaping men, women and children, at SO
much head (when two-thirds of them haven't
any head to speak of }, without having it flung
in our faces that we originated the pack of
fools styled men,"
His remarks were received with every ex-
preston of delight possible to the monkey.
Some stood on their pyramidial heads, others
swung by their tails, while others threw flip
flaps from one end of the cage to the other.
A monkey who had travelled much and seen
great deal. and who had probably used the
eats paw to pull more chestnuts out of the
FIRE than any other monkey OF his age, next
addressed his fellow monkeys.
Said he: "This Darwin has inflicted dis
grace upon us that no monkey of any selfre-
spect will hesitate to resent | fling his base
insinuations back into his teeth A wild
chatter of applause If man was indeed de-
scended from us, what fall was there, my
countrymen, Prolonged howls of derision.
Ii had this base slanderer of our race-this
Darwin, whe dar'eiR fame by traducing u.s.
would r-r-r-r-rend him to pieces with these
pentadacty.ous hands, and whip him to death
with this prehense tail! Immense cheering1.
The chairman interrupted the speaker to
remind him that no pnns would be allowed.
Nobody but men perpetrated puns, and pun
was altogether beneath the dignity of any mon
key who had the least respect for himself.
The speaker promised to be more guarded in
the future, and proceed with his remarks.
"Look at the follies men perpetrate every
day. Did you ever know a monkey to make
such a fool of himself as they doi Did you
ever know n monkey tn buy ticket to men-
agerie and 60 staring around making remarks
about better people than himself! Did mon
key ever get drunk, or talk about his neigh
bors. or wear plug hat (unless it was fastened
on his head by detestable ringmaster), or sue
for 4 divorce, or lace, or color his whiskers, or
60 into bankruptcy, or cheat the printer, or
get elected Councilman, or run bar account,
or eat hash, or-or run for Congressi Never"
Screams and screeches of assent.
"Man descended from the monkey, indeed.
If we were descended from man it would be
sufficiently disgracefuL get ashamed when
l think there is possibility of a connecting
link. Look at them in their political conven-
tions. In our most idiotic moments did we
ever yell and howl as they do.'
"Look at them in Congress. A whole men,
agery on drunk couldn't behave worse. And
where did they get iti They didn't get it
from us, that is a sure thing The key to their
cussed nonsense is not the mon key. An ad-
monishing shake OF the head from the Presi-
dent] Mr.. Darwin must seek for his ances-
try elsewhere, and let the monkey alone. He
might perhaps trace it to the beasts of the
field or the birds of the air, or (What is moro
likely (the jackass"
Tremendous applause followed his speech,
After some further remarks on the part of dis
tnguished monkeys of like tenor, the meeting
passed series of resolutions utterly repudiat-
ing the Darwinian theory, and adjourned-Cin-
cinndti Times.