The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-02-19
|ernIng Star and Catholic Messenger.
ORLEANS. SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10.
WIT AND WISDOM.

man.
The man who owed something to hii
euntry did not pay his taxes.
HWhy is the letter F great stumbling
fblock7 Because it makes all fall.
"speech is silver, but silence golden
Hence tho expression, hush money.
A bachelor aritbmetician says girl is q
sum when che causes one to sigh for her.
Lawyers are like shears, they never cut
each other, but what is placed between
them.
Intelligent pet-"Ma, dear, what do they
play the organ 80 loud for when church IL
i overt Is it to wake us upf"
Wanted to know-f a man toasts the
girl of his heart, is that a reason why he
should be debarred from any but herf
eft is very curious" said an old gentle
man to his friend, "that watch should be
perfectly dry when it has running spring
inside9"
Since the paper told of that girl who got
married by washing a child's face in the
street, all the sensible girls carry towels
with them.
Three degrees-Somebody heard can
did brewer lately divide his beer into three
classes-strong table, common table and
famentable.
At a recent school examination a young
urchin being asked why it was SO warm in
the torrid zone, promptly replied, "Because
it is SO hot"
A sentimental old bachelor says a wo-
mans heart is the sweetest thing in the
world in fact, n perfect honeycomb-full
of sells. Bee-ware!
Some sound advice from an old merchant
is this: "Never owe more than you are
able to pay, and allow no man to owe you
more than you are able to lose"
A.. Al, ,Io
in which ladies' wardrObes are transported,
all the railroads in the country are calling
themselves " Grand Trunk Line"
Says Katie to her new husband, "John,
what rock does true love build upon 2"
Quoth John, aud grinned from ear to ear,
"The rock of yonder cradle, dear"
An old fellow went to dine at chop
house, and after waiting some few minutes,
grufily asked the waiter, How long will
my chop BET" "About five inches, sir"
was the reply.
By the substitution of T for an Lily
some incorrigible typo, contemporary is
made to advertise n religious book to the
public undr the rather equivocal title of
flight at Evening Time"
When Sheridan kept a school, he had in
one of his classes a boy who always read
cartridges for patriarchs. Stop" ex-
claimed the wag of teacher, You should
A literary. man, sojourning at Plymouth
last summer, called at the circulating library
fes Goldsmith's Greece. The lad in attend
ance replied, We do not keep it you will
find it at the jewelers. next door,"
Leavenworth is said to boast of a man
who is so tall that his likeness cannot be
got into one picture. local artist has
painted his head and shoulders, and an
nounces that he will be continued next
week"
A little boy in Brooklyn Sunday school
was ask ed lately to say which was the most
beautiful verse in the Bible. After some
hesitation he replied blushinsSy, elf any
man pulls down the American flag shoot
him on the spot"
A gentleman, whose custom it was to en-
terrain very often a circle of friends, OBJ
eating something before grace was asked,
ard determined to cure him. Upon the re-
petition of the offence, he said, {" For what
we are about to receive, and for what
James Taylor has already received, the
Lord make US truly thankful"
A servant girl in the town of B., whose
beauty was the subject of general admira-
ton and discussion, in passing group OF
officers in the street, heard one of them ex-
claim to his fellows, By Heaven, she's
paintedw Turning about she quickly re-
plied, Eyes, sir, and by Heaven only"
The officer acknowledged the rebuke and
apologized.
A candidate travelling through one of the
rural precincts of q certain county few
days since, rode up to q farmhouse and thus
accosted a tow-headed urchin who was
seated upon the top Of gate-p post, Bub,
where's your pas" The youngster replied,
"Pap's just gone down beyond the COW
shed to dig q grave to bury our old dog
Towser. The old fool killed himself barkin'
at candidates for Sheriff."
Old DR.. Stearns, of New London, in his
latter days, kept a drug store. A gentle
man one day purchased a cigar of the doc
tor, and, lighting it, began to smoke;
"Please do not smoke in the store," said
DIR. s., politely, ait is against our rule"
"But you sell cigars" rejoined the gentle
man, "sell 'em to smoke, don't you :" eyes,
SIR" replied the doctor, n little sharply,
"and we sell physic, but we don't allow it
to operate in the store"
- A good story is told about an old hunter
eeSho used to trap about Moosehead Lake, of
the name Of Ellis. His reputation as a
great bear hunter extended far and wide.