The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-02-18
Mhttliug) geguter.
From the De Soto (wis.l Republican,
A Rich Marriage Ceremony.

II numUcr VI years dSO tutEc uWelt
in this village a gentleman by the name
of Charles Whiting. If ever a human
being was overstocked with good humor
and waggishness, it was that same
Whiting He was up to all sorts Of in
nocent tricks, and his victims were num-
bered by the hundred, many Of whom
yet reside here: 1t came to pass that
this wag was elected Justice Of the
Peace, and shortly after his installment
in office q couple came over from Iowa
to get united in the holy bonds of pad
lock" Whiting tells how he performed
the ceremony, as follows: ~ q. ar
Having been appointed to the desir-
able "posish" OF Justice Of the Peace,
| was accosted on the 5thi day Of July,
by looking young man, and in
silvery tones requested to proceed to a
neighboring hotel, as he wished to en-
ter into the holy bonds of matrimony.
Here was a "squelcher." had never
done anything OF the kind, had no books
or forms; yet was determined to do
things up strong, and in legal manner,
so / proceeded to the hotel, bearing in
nv arms one copy of the Revised Sta
tutes, one ditto Webster's Unabridged
Dictionary, one copy large-sized Bible,
a small copy of the Creed and Article
of Faith Of tine Congregational Church,
one copy Of the Popes Essay on Man,
and sectional part Of the map, where
the victim lived. Having placed table
in the middle Of the room, and seated
myself behind it, | in trumpet tones,
called the case. With that the young
man and woman, with great alacrity,
stepped up before me. Having sworn
them on the dictionary to answer well
and truly to all the questions | was about
to ask, | proceeded l told the young
man that being an entire stranger, |
should ask him to give bail for the costs.
Having heard this so frequently in courts
thought it indispensable. He an
swered, if / meant the fee for perform
ing the ceremony, he would deposit it
then and there. As did not know ex-
actly what did mean, | magnanimous,y
waived that portion Of the ceremony.
then told him it would be necessary
to give bail to keep the peace. This he
said he was willing to do when be ar
rived home, and ! then waived that
point also.
Having established to my satisfac-
ton they wanted to get married, and
that they were old enough to enter into
that blessed state, | proceeded to tie the
knot asked him if he was willing to
take that woman to be his wife. He
said he was. l told him that did not
require haste in the answer; that he
might reflect a few moments if he
WISHED. | told him she looked like a
fine girl, and / had no doubt she was !;
bat if the sequel proved that he had
been taken in, | did not want to be held
responsible. l said he must love,
honor, and obey her as long as she
lived he must not be "snappy' around
the house, nor spit tobacco juice on the
floor; all of which he promised faithfully
to heed.
"Now," said !, "Georgiana" Cher
name was Georgiana), "you hear what
Humphrey says. Do You accept the
invitation to become his wife; will you
be lenient towards his faults, and
cherish his virtues; will you never be
guilty of throwing furniture at his head
for slight offenses, and will you get. three
meals a day without grumblingY
She said she would. asked them if
they believed in the commandments,
and they said they did Having read
the creed and articles of faith, as afore,
said, | exclaimed; Humphrey, take
her, she is yours; ] cannot withhold my
consent" "Georgiana, when safe in
the arms of your Humphrey, you
can DEFY the SCOTS and jeers of the
world.
then read little from the Essay
on Man. including that passage,
Man wants but little here below, but
wants that little long" AS finale
to the scene, | delivered the follow
ing exordium: go in peace, sin no
more.
The generous Humphrey having
placed fifty cent check in my unwill-
ing palm, babe the happy pair final
adieu.