The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1871-05-31

to be Industrious.
On love matters and affairs vhicl
concern The sex generally the country
man is usually as gentle as possible
But expressions like the following show
that he has feelings which may no
always be respected:
otis sweet to court,
But oh how bitter
To court o gal
And then not sit her."
"A Dutchman once met an Irishmar
on a lonely highway. AS they met
each smiled, thinking he knew the
other. Pat, on seeing his mistake, re
marked, with look Of disappointment
Faith, an I thought it was you an
you thought it was me, an its nayshu,
OF u.s.
sYaw, dat is dhru. I am anuder man
and you is not yourself, and We poth
some other podies.'
Two travellers having been assign.
ed to the same bed room, in a crowded
hotel, une Of them before retiring, knelt
down to pray, and confessed aloud a
catalogue Of sins. On rising from his
knees, he saw his fellow-traveler, valise
in hand, going out of the door, and
exclaimed
whats the matter? ? what's up?'
'Oh, nothing was the reply, 'only
I'm not going to risk myself with such
scamp as you confess yourself to be ?
lis it true, mamma inquired q
little girl, that a Quaker never takes
his hat Off
1T is true, my DEAR answered the
fond mother. 1T is a mark Of respect
which he thinks be should pay to no
man.
But then tell me, man ma answered
the clever child, 'how does o Quaker
manage when be goes to have his hair
cut?'
- He that has never known adversely
is but half acquainted with others or
himself. Constant success shows US but
one side of the world. For as it sur
rounds US with friends who will tell US
only our merits, SO it silences those enc.
mics from whom alone We can learn our
defects.
The Ku Klux clamor raised with
so much din and noise throughout the
country by the Radicals is intended to
divert attention and scrutiny from their
own party, Just as the thief, pursued BY
the crowd, halloos thief the loudest Of
any to escape detection and arrest.
"A little girl who bad just laid aside
her slate in order to adjust her stockings,
vas asked by her mother,
"What are you drawing on your
slate, Emma 2"
II amt drawing On my slate," she
answered, "I'm drawing on my stock
ings."
-An old lady was telling her grand.
children about some troubles in Scot
land, in the course of which the chief
of her clan was beheaded. "It was nae
great thing Of a head, to te sure" said
the old lady, "hut 1t was sad loss to
him."
-"What is the bes. way" asked q
young preacher Of an older one, "to get
the attention ola congregation 2" "Give
'em something to attend TO-" was the
gruff reply.
"A sick man was told that his wife
would probably marry again. "All
right" said be "for there will be one
man that will lament my death"
- An Ohio paper tells Of Q woman
who washed her ch;ldreu's heads with
modern whiskey to kill nits. Her boys
are we'll now, but their heads are as
smooth as billiard balls.
Fame is like a young duck in 8
mud puddle-very easy to zee, very easy
to talk about after you have seen it
but it is an awful job to get hold Of it
- Never say anything to lady about
her dress and appearance. Sensible
girls despiss Hattery, and no girl is seq
sible enough to take criticism gracious
ly.
-"Womeu," remarked a contsmpla
tive man, "are as deep as the blue va
tiers Of yon bay Gay, sir" rGoined
disappointed one, "aud as full Of craft. "
- Young men get tight BY solscins
themselves with 'ye ardenf-but th'
girls get tight by SO laeing in q difereu
manner.
1t is hard to respect old age whel
one gets sold on 6 venerable pair o
chickens. re -
- There Is 20 Use ia prsising I'd
present styls Of ladies' dssases, for the.
are pufFsd suough.
soua girls sfs Ike old muskets
they use good deal Of powder, bu
von's 60 Of.
! A lad craxled into o sugar hoga
head, and bis frss exolauation va
a0h, fora thousand tongussP
Out ID WISCONSIN msrriagas or
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