Mower County transcript., 1871-07-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A PITCHED BATI LIZA fight between
Wo tars.
Docs beat dentists. They insert natural
teeth.
A POLICY Of life insurance creates an
estate at once, which cannot be taken from
your wife. Insure in the Mutual Life, Of
Chicago.
DISPATCHES from various points in
Colorado are delayed by the inconvenicnt
habit the settlers have of hanging horse
thieves to the telegraph wires.
A MUI.ATTo woman called Madam An
gclo has Just walked 1910 miles in Eng
land, in rs many consecutive hours, heing
the third person known who has achieved
this feat
A HARD CAsE-Dying, without money,
without property, no life insurance policy
in the Washington Insurance Company,
Of New York, yet leaving a wife and
small children.
A GERMAN waiter at Bingcn on the
Rhine has displayed a talent for fraud
worthy Of Saratoga. A lady found a
chicken in her egg, and called his atten-
tiOn to the circumstance. lie charged her
for a boiled chicken.
TIE Salt Lake City Nescs says that, q
short time since, while some men we're
engaged in clearing out a spring in that
region from which the people obtain
water for irrigation, they found, standing
erect, in the spring, what had been two
year-old heifer, in an advanced state of
petrifaction.
lately hire hands to commence boring
forn oolxoI g hot bind cf ra11
he wanted to put down." meaning with
large easing or small "Well," was the
reply, "I guess you'd better sock down a
hundred BARR well that's as high as they
run now, amt it?'
THREE young men, not long ago, called
at beer-saloon in New Albany, Ind, for
a drink The keeper of the establishment
told them to drink quick, as his daughter,
up stairs, was dying. He added, "She
will soon be dead, and you can call again
in short time" While the party was
drinking the girl died.
"CUFFEE, what do you tink de nose
useful OBJ de plannets, de sun or de moon ?"
Well, Sambo, tink de moon orter take
de first rank in dat ar tickler." "Why do
you tink So, Cutlce?' DWELL, I tell you;
kase she shines by night, when we want
light, and the sun shines by day, when we
don'tI"
AMERICAN readers are often amused
with the names of Chinese. To them Ii
Po Tai and Chy Lung look very funny.
But perhaps it is only in the way We print
it. Suppose some of our own were given
thus Da Wis and Gree Ley, Schuy Ler
Col Fax aud Val Ian Dig uam.-Neao
York Times.
A MAN painting the cornice of house
in Hartford, fell from a ladder, and it was
supposed that he was badly hurt. Imme-
diately after the fall, young man ran to
to the store to inform the painter of the
misfortune that had overtaken his work
man. The g. boss" listened to thrilling
description of the fall, and, with the rul-
ing passion still strong within him, asked,
anxiou>ly, Did he spill his paint?'
ONCE when Marshal Mcmahon was COL
onel Of a regiment, he had al alteration
with a subaltern and threatened him for
disobedience of orders. The officer drew
a pistol, but fortunately the cap snapped.
Mcmahon instantaneously ordered him to
be confined in the guard-roOm for fifteen
days-tor having his arms out Of order.
TIE following inscription can be seen
at Newmarket, New Hampshire:
HEARE
Lysyc
Rody OILS
SIAII HvnT
on dyd 1VnE
GEas.
TRUTHFUL JAMES, made so familiar by
Bret Harte, is an old Californian product
He appears in John Phnnix's sketch of
the return Of the Collector from Stockton
Squibob quotes a statement of one "Cap-
tain j B" Familiarity known as
"Truthful James, and in the postscript to
the narrative he remarks that "Truthful
James" comes to inform him that the Col
lcctor did not arrive: The queer charac-
ter who rises to explain at Bret Harte's
instigation had name to live in the early
days Of California, and long before his
present manager had any use for him.
"Truthfill James is revival and not an
original production.
A COUNTRY merchant who wanted two
tailOrs irons, several years ago, ordered
them of firm of hardware merchants in
the city, He first wrote this order:
" Please send me two tailor's gooses."
Thinking this was not grammar, he des
troycd it and wrote this one: Please send
me two tailor's geese" Upon reflection
he destroyed this one also, for fear he
should receive live geese He thought
over the matter till he was very much
worried, and at last, in moment of des
peratinn, he seized his pen and wrote the
following, which was duly posted:
"M,ssrs. So-ant. so: Please send me one
tailor's goose, and, hang it, send me all
othcr!'
A PLEASANT instance Of poetic justice
is reported from a town in Oregon. One
a young man called uron the
editor of the only paper in the county, and
asked D, rlnisston to look at the bound files
Of that paper for 1869. 1t was granted.
While the editor WAS in bed waiting till
his wife could wash his shirt, that young
man carried away the file, nor was it ever
seen again, until his lawyer offered it in
evidence during The trial of IN action for
IS 900 damages, for an alleged libel, which
that young man brought against that
editor 1t is gratifying to learn that the
plaintiff recovered 81 cents damages, and
was arrested by the editor on charge of
stealing. books, convicted, and sentenced
to the pcnctcntiary for seven years. lie
now lnasticatts mush and n,classes in the
penal institution aforesaid Let those who
would not share his fate, profit ly his cX
ample.
RATHER y remarkable casa Of cerebral
affection has ocCurrea' at S.m"rvillc, Mass
A lad named Dickinson s,rid, My disap
pcar,tl from his home Two days after he
returned in an Exhausted condition. lie
stated that after l,,lulging i'll vigorous
play with other boys, and with his body
heated, he went into the water to SWIM
The next day he went to school, feeling
i'll, and studied hard. In the afternoon lie
went for walk, and remembers nothing
more until he found himself in Manches-
|cr N. II. When his senses had returned
he started homcward, and walked all the
way. Ills shoes and stockings were worn
out. lie is now in Il serious condition
from fatigue and fever. The danger Of
bathing when heated should induce great
caution.
An Alabama correspondent asks the
best method ut utilizing fresh COW ma
llurt and wood ashes as a fertilizer for
garden with sandy soil. Top.dress tho
garden with the ashes at once, or at any
time when it is convenient to apply it, If
the COW manure is not needed for the crop
now growing, compost it with muck, or
leaves, or rOttOn wood, or all together, if