The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-02-23
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A country dsntist sdvtrtisss thGt "hS
spares no palms." 4.~@
The man who "couldn't fnd his
match went to bed In ths dark. ,-rtsr
The 'sdivorce suit' is the name Of tbs
most ,tylish travelling dress In Chi.
cago.
The man Who tried u arrange his
hair with An jcs PICK, sotis into mics
pickle. .9" "s>t 4s. @'.@eiarf
The n. 7. star publfshts births mn IN.
der the heading, 'Ths happiest women
in town." '...
The Lafayette Courier announces that
its "ighting editor has gone into win.
ter quarters" ....... n... .,e, t,s,s
Ifs hole made IN wall by . cannotl
ball is called breach, would two stlch
holes make q pair o. - a.,
sAftemus Ward iaia that he Thought
1t rather improved comic paper q
print = joke now and then. .ff5
An editor out West says hs IL 70 short.
sighted thst he frequently snbs bht with
his nose what he writes with his PED.
Gil. s@m"
A country paper, speaking 1T Atna
Dickinson, says: 'She appearsd beforG
her auditors attired in modest but rich
necklace .-...f ,-..l. se0as vs.a
In IN old New York tavern the fol.
lowing notice was posted; "Gentiemen
learning to spell are requested to USE
yesterdays paper" a4asaua. ss ..,.a
A certain New York paper has had
an obituary notice of Santa Anna in
type for sixty-five years, and now tho
old man is just talking of going to war
with Juares, to conquer Mexico.
An Italian journal Is trying to pro-
mote pedestrian exercise among the stu.
dents Of the State by urging a law to
prohibit the sale Of liquor within three
miles ofany institution of learning.
Grace Greenwood assures the world
that a government clerkship at the cau-
itai Is not a gold mine or a diamond
field. BY close economy a man may
lay up enough to pay his undertsker's
bill.
"a western paper, which noticed the
opening Of new whiskey store, the
next day apologized for the brevity of
its local columns, because "the reporter
was ILL.," He had assisted at the osen.
ing.
A Asublime obituary "Another'stslwart
tree fell last evening, in its autumn
prime, in the person of J. w. Coilen. a
unique And remarkable character in
his way as was ever wrought out from,
the rugged latitudinarianism Of tho
frontier.n
A man, stopping his paper, -w.cte to
the editor: II think folks ottent to
spend ther mummy for psyper, Mi dadda
diddent and everybody sed he was the
lnte!ligentes man in the country and
had the smartest family of boiz that ever
dugged taters."
Passing in his checks" used to be A
short, general mode Of expression, per.
haps q delicate one, of saying that Mr..
So-and SO was dead; but gentleman
OF the Fifteenth Ward gives bis friends
obituaries in the single word "qait.n II
they die, he says they have quit and SO
they have.
.Philadelphia street preachers com.
plain that when they try to convert
boys in the streets, the boys say: "Put
head on him." and when he talks to
them about hell, they say you know
how it is YOURSELF" and when lie passes
around the hat they ask How does
the old thing work." He is going to
resign.
The Kansas editors are very kind to
one another The Marysville Locomo.
fce speaks Of the editor of the Kansas
City Neaus as eighteen carat dead beat
aud fraud and of the editor of the
olathe AeWs Letter as atirst- class san.
sage cover and an unmitigated black.
guard 1t is only where these knight.
" editorial courtesies are habituaIIy Oh.
served that the profession of journalism
attains its highest degree of respectable.
'ty and refinement.-L<yayette lind. y
Journal.
A witty contemporary thus depicts
the position of the European powers
with respect to the war now raging:
"Russia covets,
Turkey fears,
Austria ponders,
Italia cheers.
Belgian, Holiano.'
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