Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-09-22
From the Chicago Times ]
Harris's Love Letter.
THE WIDOW MYREs's BREACH OF PROMISE
SUIT-ExTRAvAGANcE OF CoURTsllIp.

'
r SUIT-ExTRAvAGANoE OF CoURTslIIp
: The Widow Myers, of Onondaga, N Y,
sued her neighbor, Harris, for breach Of
promise. Harris had been frequent visi-
tor for about two years and half at the
house Of the plaintiff widow nearly thirty
) years of age. with three children. 1t seems
: to have been the opinion Of the friends Of
the plaintiff (and no doubt she thought SO
herselD that Harris would marry her /; but
he, Harris, few months ago, suddenly
discovered that he loved another woman bet
ter, and verified this belief short time
since by marrying her. Hence this action
to recover damages. The following tender
epistle, sent by the lover swain, was read in
court /: II
) MY DEAR Mas NJ: Every time think
of you my heart Aops up and down like a
churn-dasher. Sensations of unutterable
joy caper over il like young goats on the
stable roof, and thrill through it like Span
ish needles through a pair of tow linen
trowsers Asa gosling swimmeth with de-
light through a mud nuddle, SD swim | in
2 sea of glory Visions of ecstatic rapture
thicker than the hairs of a blackening brush
and brighter than the hues Of humming
brid's pinions visit me in my slumbers, and,
borne on their invisible wings, your image
stands before me-, and reach out to grasp
it like a pointer swapping at blue-bottle
fly. When I first beheld your angelic per-
fections, I was bewildered, and my brain
whirled around like humble bee under a
. glass tumbler. My eyes stood open like
a.cellar door in country town, and l lifted
up my cars to cltch the silvery accents of
your voice. My tongue refused to wag,
and in silent alteration drank in the sweet
tumbler of hot whiskey punch. ....s
/ Since the light of your face fell upon my
life. sometimes feel as if I could lift myself
up by my boot-straps to the top of the church
steeple, and pull the bell rope, for singing
school. Day, and night you are in my
thoughts When Aurora, blushing like a
bride, rises from her saffron-colored couch |;
when the ja5-bir, pipes his tuneful lay in
1 the apple tree b. the springhouse when
; the chandeliers shrill clarion heralds the
coming morn when the awakening pig
arises from his bed and grunteth, and goeth
for his morning refreshments when the
drowsey beetle wheels to droning fight ut
sultry noontide and when the lowing herds
come home at milking time, think of thee;
and like piece Of gum elastic, my heart
seems stretched clear across my bosom. -
Your hair is like the name of my sorrel
horse. powdered with gold and the brass
pins skewered through your waterfall fill
me with lbounded awe. ,f 1s -5{- VI
Your forehead is smoother than the elbow
ofand old coat. Your eyes are glorious to
behold In their liquid depths see legions
Of little eupids bathing like cohort Of ants
in an old army cracker When their fire
hit he upon my uaniy breast ii penetrated
my whole anatomy as load of bird shot
through rotten apple. Your nose is from
+, chunk of Parian marble and your mouth
= is puckered with sweetness. Nectar fingers
on your lips. like honey on a BEARS paw,
: and pyliads of unAedged kisses are there,
: ready to fly out and light somewhere, like
: blue birds out OF their parents nests Your
e laugh rings in my ars like the wind-harps
!. strain, or the bleat of a stray lamb on ii
bleak hill side. The dimples on your cheeks
are like bowers 10 beds Of roses, or hollows
r il cakes of home made sugar. ais- sae
9 I am dying to fly to thy presence and
: pour out the burning eloquence of my love
9 as thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee -
d Away from you am as melancholy as a
: sick rat. Sometimes can hear the June
0 bugs of dependency buzzing in my ears,
Z and feel the cold lizards of despair crawling
] down my back Uneouth tears, like a
!. thousand minnows nibble at my spirits, and
0 my soul is pierced with doubts like an old
a, cheese bored wi b shippers.
9 My love for you is stronger than the smell
.e of Coffey's patent butter, or the kick cf {
i young COW, and more unselfsh than kit
b tens first caterwaul, As a song bird hank
= ers for the light of day, the cautious mouss
:. for the fresh bacon in the trap, as a NEAR
j. pup bankers for new milk, SO I long fol
l. thee e.: &
It You are fairer than speckled pullet
e sweeter than Yankee doughnut fried il
le sorghum molasses, brighter than top-kno
d plumage on the head Of Museovey duck
N You are candy, kisses, raisins, pound-eake
y and sweetened toddy altogether. y. ,se
toll If these few remarks will enable you t
or see the inside of my SOUL and me to wi
], your affections, I shall be as happy as G
q. woodpecker on a cherry-tree, or stag
S; horse in green pasture. Ifq youv canno
TO reciprocate my thrilling passions, [ will pin
ut away like o poisoned hedbug, and fall ava
u from a Aourishing vine of life,g ans5 uatimel
" branch; and in the coming years. swhe
er the shadows grow from the hills, and tn
ID philosophical frog sings his cheerful evenin
I'd hymns, you, happy in another's love, ca
f.c come and drop tear and catch cold upo
% the last resting place Of yours affection
z ately .. ,.,. ,,;.9,5g.qs,, So, H.
lis I MECHANICS. They are the palace bull
ct iers Of the. world not a stick is hewn, not
I stons IS shaped il all the lordly dwelling
vii of the rich, that does not owe its beauty an
re fitness to tbs skill Of the mechanic tn
4 towering spires that raise their giddy head
ly among the clouds depend upon the mechan
q | les art for their strength and symmetry. =
u Not an edifee for devotion, or business, Q
70 comfort, but bears the impress of the
", hands. How exhalted is their vocation, ho
lot sublime their calling a45seD SD '7 to1
g a Wyoming husband advertises himse
q as monthly nurse. He says his wife TO
80 merly supported the family by that bus
-. ness but since she acquired the right
:" vote and sit on j1ries she does nothing b.
. talk politics, and 50 he must keep the fami
o. up. or himself aud the children will starv'
-. IN " Mall i1''N psisfi5sA ".s 775 f'''l
I'm MATERNAL INFLUENCE. hen one So
Z 10 f.,n;lu IF child ran Ooino tn school in We