The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-25
"Archie Hutohington" on Marriages.

'Daws-a-massy, soul sakes when
was young, twas different then. Why,
when folks was agoing to get married,
they took time, and meditated upon it,
and kinder studied each other out, and
reflected and considered and when
they did get married, they was mar
ried for sartain, and very much mar
ried-married from top to toe, and
they expected to stay married; there
warn't no talk of your disyorces then !;
they knew beforehand that they was
to 'hev and to hold till grim death,
and they mostly usually did. But now
a young fellow sees pretty gal, and
asks her TO marry him, just as he'd
ask her to take walk and she's all
ready-'yes,Sir, and thank yer, too, =
and they 60 and get married, with no
more realizing sense Of their response
bility than Cock Robin has when he
twitters and chirps to Jenny Robin.
Well, pretty soon they go at it-she
finds she do2't like tobacco-smoke, and
he don't like a WIFE that can't do a
thing but frizzle her hair; and so on
it goes from bad to worse, until at last
they sue for disvorce. And they 4!
get it, too And all for what? Why,
for uncomfortability of temperl Oh
laws-a-massy, soul sakes now did
you ever er2-'uncomfortability of tenn
perl Oh, Lordy r'
'Incompatability of temper, Mr..
Hutchinglon," l suggested.
eyes, know it; | said so; uncom-
Portability Of ftemper--thems the words
that does it. Well, is not there alters
uncomfortability of temper in every
family, and alters has been, and alters
will be2 Only in the good old times
they used to screw it down and keep it
under; and SO, you see, they managed
to get along without none Of yer dis
vorces.
Don't yer suppose, Sir, that there
was uncomfortability of temper enough
in Noahs ark, with all them odds and
ends of creation, creeters that wasn't
noways agreeable to one another's feel
ings all messed in together there2-
dogs and cats, sheep and wolves, foxes
and geese, chickens and weasels (and
skunks, I'll bet)--and mighty small
stable-room accommodations, l tell
you'll How was it bout uncomforta-
bllity Of temper there, do you s'pose
Why, don't you see, they he'd to com
modate all Of um Jest luff and bear
away, as the sailors say the lion,
s'pose be roared kinder soft like, SO as
not to skeer the turkle-doves; and the
hyenay, she did not laugh out as loud
as she wanted to, | dare say; the big
bear, he kinder shut up growing and
the kang'roo took care not to leap on
other folkses toes; the horse was keer-
full not to kick up his heels; and if the
dog felt as mad as FIRE, he didn't bite
nobody. That was the way they done
it, no doubt ont stands to reason they
did; cause, don't you see, Sir, if they
he'd all on um given way to their un-
comfortability of temper, and each on
um acted out their own onregenerate
mater, why in course they'd hev stove
the bottom out of that thunderin old
tub of his in less than no time, and
she a foundered, and they'd all gone
to the bottom. and there wouldn't hev
been no call for any moro wedding
rings, that's sartin: and where you
and would be now, it's mighty hard
thing to say.
"But, as | was saying they didn't;
they behaved beautiful! l don't see
how it was-seems it couldn't hev
been Noahs doings-for, between you
and |, guess he wasn't much; an OH
steady, drinking man he alters was,
you know; wasn't he, Sir? and not
used to navigating, by no means. But
I will say fort, he managed that cruise
remarkably well, considering what his
crew was half womenkind; he sartin-
ly made saving v'yage of it, which
was good deal, all things consider
ed!'-Harpers Magazine for Nay.