Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1871-08-02
THE CHRONICLE.
Handy thing ~a..gloye.

FoOHS
People in the higher walks Of lie
generally make a great noise when
they fall.
There are $4,000 applications for
pensions pending and Enacted upon
in the pension Office at Washington.
English ritualistic clergymen want
to exclude female voices from the
'choirs of all churches. They are I'M
willing to give women any chants.
Heathenism was the seeking reli-
giOn, Judaism the hoping religion
Christianity is the reality OF what
heathenlsm and Judaism hoped for.
Josh Billings says he never will
p~atronize q lottery so long as he can
find any n else to rob him at reAs-
enable wages.
A teacher eatechising his scholars,
put the question "What was made
to give light to the world % Match
es!" cried n Of the youngsters, af-
ter a short pause.
The excess of women in Great
Britain, as revealed by the recent Gen.
sus, is exciting much attention. The
disproportion between the sexes is
91S,162.
The girls have got a new hobby
This time it is the collection of differ
ent patterns of printed calico. One
in New Hampshire exhibits one
thousand different kinds.
One of the Siamese twins is lying
at the point of death, and arrange
ments have been made to separate the
living m as soon as death finishes
the other.
The Rajah of Cashmere recently
dismOunted from his elephant and
slew two leOpards with his naked
sword. Two leOpards would make
any man Rajah little.
Col. Fisk has been swearing ever
since his ankle was broken, and
wants another riot Immediately so as
to avenge his broken limb. His inju-
ries are not serious.
An old lady from one Of the rural
districts astonished a clerk in one of
the stores a few days ago, by inqui-
ring if he had any i'yaller develop
ments SIGH as they did up letters in"
In New York there are four hun
dred and sixty miles of streets, three
hundred and forty miles Of water
pipes and two hundred and seventy
i've miles Of sewers.
A photograph Of the lace purchased
by Kate Chase, wife of Senator
Sprague, is retained in the shop at
Paris, it being the finest lace ever
made, and costing $4,000 for six
yards and a half.
Gen. Butler, announcing that he
will be a candidate for the gubernato-
rial nomination of the republican
party of Massachusetts,, states that if
elected lie will enforce the prOhibi.
tory law
A lady who had a great horror of
tobacco got into a railroad carriage the
other day and inquired Of a male
neighbor, "DO you chew tobacco, sir?n
mo, madam, +" was the reply, "but l
can get you a chew if you want it."
When a ma is unable to tell the
time by his watch, because there are
two hands, and he doesn't know
(which to believe" it is a solerably
sure sign that he has partaken of more
refreshments than his nature requires.
AT q recent wedding in Rhinebeck,
as the clergyman reached the part Of
the ceremony, al now pronounce
you a fish peddler in the street
shouted "bUll heads! bull headspr to
the amusement of some and the con-
sternation of Others present on the
occasion.
"Millyn Aiken, a negro woman,
born in III, five years before the
separation of the thirteenth colonies
from the mother country, died q few
days since at the residence Of her old
master, Nh. Robert Aiken, in Jones'
bOrO, Tennessee. She worked up 10
the day preceding her death
An observing individual in a very
healthy village, seeing the SEXTON at
work at a hole in the ground, inquired
what he was about. digging a
grave" digging a graveP' Why,
L thought people didn't die often here
do they 2" "0h on, sir! they never
die but once"
Frank Roe, a farmer, while loading
hay three miles east of Newark, o.,
on Friday last, was killed by light
ming, which came from an almost
cloudless sky. A fork held in his
hand was shivered to atoms, and a
man on the wagon knocked to the
ground and well-nigh killed.
The Prairie Du Chen (Wis.) IN
ion says that a Mr.. Dousman has in
his possession a Canadian pony that
is upwards Of thirty-fve years old.
He has been the property of several
famous Indian chiefs at different
times. At one time he was sold for
seventy-five cents, and at another
time for a gallon OF whisky.
Our exchanges are filed with the
cards of individuals who are urged
by their many friends" aud ''kt the
solicitation Of many friends, to run
for office. None OF them seem to
to run, but they are urged and
IoEicited to allow their names to be
used, and they don't like to refuse
you know how it is yourself"
A deaf-mute boy, who Is at school,
has recently written q letter to q
friend at home, in which, referring
% recreation rather than labOrs, he
Iuaintly says: 81 am working with
plant the corn nor potatoes. I can
somewhat plough. Mr.. How teaches
ne to learn plough. The pupils will
vacation next June OF 16."
Epsilon, Alaska, contains the old
sst Mason, inthe person of a Russian.
lged 116, who claims to have received
he Master Mason's degree at the age
Of eighteen, by special dispensat ion
a lodge on the frontiers Of Persia,
more than nenety-seven years ago.
The aged gentleman is quite feeble,
put visitors say he still retains 8 thor
ough knowledge Of Masonic work.
Old Deacon Sharp never told a lie;
put he used to relate this: He was
standing one day before a frog pond,
md saw d large garter-snake make an