Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-04-28
Archie HutclningtGn OF Mar
riages.

'Laws-a-massy soul sakes when I was
young. twas different then Why, when
folks was a-going to get married, they took
time, and meditated upon it, and kinder
studied each other out, and reflected and
considered and when they did get married
they was married for sartain, and very much
marrled-marrled from top to toe; and they
expeeted to stay married there warn't no
talk of your divorces then they knew be-
foreband that they was to hev aud to hrlt'
Till grim death, and they mostly usually
did. But now young fellow sees pretty
GAL and asks her to marry him, just as he'd
ask her to take walk and she's all ready
yes, Sir, and thank yor, too, and they
60 and get married with no more real zlng
sense Of their responsibility than Cock Rob
in has when he twitters and chirps to Jen-
ny Robin Well, pretty soon go at it-she
finds she don't like tobacco-smoke, and he
don't like wife that cau't do thing but
faizze her hair; and so on it goes from bad
to worse until at last they sue for divor
ce. And they'll get it, too! And all for
what? Why, for uncomfortability Of tem-
per. Oh, laws-a-massy, soul sakes a.! now
Gid you ever uncomfortabillty of tenn
per 2" Oh, Lordy.''
patibility Of temper, Mr.. Hutch
ington," l suggested.
Eyes, know it | said SO uncomforta-
biity of temper them's the words that does
it. Well, is not there alters uncomfortable
ity Of temper in every family, and alters has
zen, and alters will be ? Only in the good
old times they used to screw it down and
keep 1t under; and SO, you see, they man
aged to get along without none Of yer d.
vorces.
"Don't yer suppose, Sir, that there was
uncomfortability OF temper enough in Noah's
ark, with all them odds and ends Of crea-
ton creeters that wasn't noways agreeable
% one anothers feelings all messed in to-
gether there ?-dogs and cats, sheep a1d
wolves, foxes and geese, chickens and wea-
sells (and skunks, Ill be0-and mighty
small stsble-room accommodations, tell
you'll How was it bout uncomfortability OF
temper, there, do you 'spose Why, don't
yon see they he'd to 'commodate all of UNI
jest huff and bear away as the sailors say;
the lion, | spose he roared kinder soft like,
SO as not 10 skeer the turkle doves and they
heyenay she did not laugh out as loud as
she wanted to-, dare say the big bear, he
kinder shut up growing and the kang roo
took care not to leap on other folkses toes
the h 'rse was keerful not to kick up his
heels and if the doff felt as mad as fire.
he didn't bite nobody. That was the way
they done it. no doubt ont stands to rea-
son they did cause, don't you see, Sir, if
they he'd all on um given way to their un-
comfortabillty of temper, and each on UNI
acted out their own unregenarate mater,
why, iu course, they'd hev stove the bottom
out of that laundering Id tub Of his in less
than go time, and she'd 'foundered, and
they'd all gone to the bottom, and there
wouldn't hev been no call for any more
wedding rings, that's sartin and where
you and [ would be now, ISIS lightly hard
thing to say.
''But, as [ was saying, they didn't; they
behaved beautiful don't see how it was
seems it couldn't hev been Noah's doipgs
- for, between you and I, [ guess he wasn't
much an unsteady, drinking man he alters
was, you know (; wasn't he, Sir and not
used to navigating, by no means. But
will say fort, he managed that cruise re-
markably well, considering what his cargo
was, and that his crew was half womenkind
he sartinly made a saving v'yage of it,
which wos good deal, all thing consider
ed p'-D. e. Castzeton, IN Harpe,'s Maga-
zine for May.