The Portland daily press., 1871-08-11

A PLAIN SHORT SERMoN-The Saratoga
correspondent of tue New York Commercial
discoursss in the following vein which be csll Q
a plain short sermon.
A lady refused to be introduced to a gentle.
man last evening at Congress Hall, and no
amount of urging could induce her to change
her mind.
what are your reasons for not wanting an
introduction 2" urged friend.
"B cause he wears paper collar aud dyes
his mustache." replied the lady; "and never
knew thourOugh gentleman TO do either
The lady was very near the truth. A dyed
moustache is a foul thing -as iOul as a cisar in
the mouth OF Venus; aud pap1r collar IS an
evasion Oi the laundry as cu'pable as the ladys
who chose colOred crockery because it would
not show dirt.
About dyeins the hair black, I will also say
word. Light hair makes the eyes look btilli-
ant by cont rast. SO, by-and by, when the eye
becomes dimmed by age, God paints the hair
white, aud the dmness OF the eye is unper-
ceved Look at d man or woman with dyed
hair! The eve is is as dead as that of o see ping
OK A I'D still these silly people think th, v are
dect living somebody think that they are max
ing themse vrs look youuger, wheb in TACT
everybody with particle OF seLse discovers
their foolish attempt at deception PowderiDg
the hair gives the eve an unnatural brilancy
hence it is frequently resorted TO in Court cir
cles in Europe. But ss a general thing young
gentlemen anu oiu! uou Try 10 improve on d.
vinity. God knows best what to do, and when
he silvers your hair with white, or paints your
mnstache with auburn, he has purpose as
grand as Himself Here is something heard
Mr. Seward say once (you know the exPremier
Is the bomeliest man, except General Sherman
in America) well, old home hands ONE Sec
retary Seward said: The cleanest man is the
most cOmey to look upon; SO bathe we'll, eat
well, and love well, and, somehow or other, the
hOmelest will be beautiful" Now it has
| struck me a thousand times that Mr.. Seward,
| who looks alway SO neat and sweet, is really a
| handsome NAL! The cleanest man is the best
mani mean morally and physically too! How
| many young ladies-aDd how beg their par
| don for saying it-look beautiful at a distance,
| but when you come close to them they have a
soiled look The hair will look greasy. Now
| ther is no more excuse for putting grease on
| your hair than there is for putting it on your
hands. You people, l say, who grease your
hair are inst as barOarOus as the Camanche In
| dian who greases his face! A gentleman will
never fall in love with soied woman. She
must be sweet Have you never, in so-called
polite society, met young lady whose face
would be improved by good square washing?
Now this is plain hOmelv talk. -EnrOpean
Court circles do more bathing, ten to one, than
the bourgeois. Indeed in lsussia-in Moscow
wher you see the sweetest blonde women in the
wOrld-they have four bath-hOuses, each as
large as the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Once daily,
evsry man and woman of patrcian blood
pluges all over, head and all, under pure spark
ling, Ieiuvenating water. This makes the hair
| light colored-glves it fieecy, airy appearance
| angelic. .s .- g r Hvr-4f @
l harv ID,o 60 h ,n1o ~, &a11r