Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-02-03
MALE MAKIEE.UP.'
negotiations Of Masculine
,l1f Duplicity. rof saii'

11f..- DuPlicity. ,oi Say
\ 81. Louis Republican New York letter.
It Is high time that some iconoclastI'
/ exposer of frailties, follies and female
/ finery turn his or her attention 70 th'
man. Poor woman has had her hand
so full in defending her own case, tina
men have enjoyed an immunity IRON
| criticism they don't deserve, h. ..s'l.
Il That the little articles OF female tot
llettes are reorted to only to please the
sterner sex, should win from them gal
liant silence. We all know how fond AZ
old bald-headed cuss always is Of bald
headed woman. The old fellow who has
a full set of store teeth never says q
word does he, about those six new
grayestones Miss Penelope Scranton got
in last spring. And those he writer's on
the events of the period-they never give
the world whole columns about those
mysterious articles hung up in corset
and lioop-skirt windows? Oh, no, Now
I'm going to have a shy at these critics.
I've been getting myself up on the
subject of mans imperlections and the
devices adopted to conceal 'em. The
strongest shafts of sarcasm and the
longest fingers of scorn have been used
upon these above mentioned store win
dows, and there's been no end TO the
talk about ladies' stnfiing, and "pads,"
and palpitators," etc.
is THERE NO sTUFFISG ABOUT AiMAN2l
Oh, my sisters, when you rest your
heads upon the manly bosoms of your
fathers, and brothers, and lovers, and
husbands, you feel little bumps and hard
things, don't you2l do you suppose it's
their noble heartthrobs sending up their
sternums in. gentle kicks? When you
throw your arms about their sturdy necks,
do you think it's their clavicles that give
such rightly to their stalwart forms2
And when they fade from your gaze, like
beautiful dreams, do you think there's
nothing but scapulas and vertebral
columns to produce those imposing fig
ures2 Great Cesarl how innocent you
are. It's stufing. Above their manly
bosoms they wear lots Of fat under
clothes, puffy starched, selfsustaining
" billed shirt, a well-padded vest, and a
coat, yes, two coats, with layers Of buck
rams and wadding, and strips of whale
bone stitched in. and horse-hair cloth
sandwiched in between outside and lin
ing .EiW f.lA M a
That is not stufing at all, is it2 Then
those tremendous shoulders, that seem
a tower of defense to the weak, little op-
pressed sisterhood. Get a needle-a
neutrality-suspicious. start out in search
of the fexors and extensors Of that good
right arm. Harpoon him with perfect
safety; it is all cotton. His little shoul-
der lives away back under sort of shed
"a gambrel-roof-an embankment.
There an unnatural calmness about
the fit of a mans coat on the shoulder
that should indicate to the careless OBJ
server the actual state Of things. But it
don't. i, .-.-
OTHER DEVICES.
3 Then there are lots Of men who wear
corsets. They make 'em at several
stores for gentlemen opposed to public
corporations. Then men often get nasty
little mats made of hair, and stick 'em
on with glue where they have bald spots,
and have to put their old heads to soak
before they can get EN- off. | vowl wo-
men never resorted to such uncomfort-
able decoration as that. We tie on, and
pin on all the false hair we can carry;
but we never did stick on things with
mueilage and glue. Years ago, when it
was fashionable to wear our tresses spat-
ted close to our heads-each particular
hair smooth and straight as a poker
some inventive man got up Cruel of
ounce seeds called 'Bandoline.N But
women voted the sticky stuff an abom-
nation, and wouldn't be made elegant
through such uncomfortable agents
Nothing on earth smells as villainously
bad as the nitrate of silver dyes the men
luxuriate in. Do the fastidieus crea-
lures revolt? Not they; its "offense is
rank" but it don't hinder EN- from
bathing once a week their mustaehes,
whiskers, hair and eyebrows in the de-
testable liquids.