davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
TooPoor.

Moore, of the Rural New Yorker, was
sitting in his office, one afternoon,
some years ago, when a farmer friend
came in ana said "Mr. Moore, | like
your paper, but times are so hard
cannot pay for it,"
"Is that so, friend Jones? I'm very
sorry to hear that you are so poor
if you are 50 hard run | will give you
my paper"
ooh, no! | can't take it as a gift"
"Well, then, let's see how we can
fix it. You raise chickens, believe. "
Eyes, a few, but they don't bring
ANYTHING, hardly"
Don't they? Neither does my paper
cost anything, hardly. Twill continue
your paper, and when your 60 home
you may select from your lot one
chicken AMI call her mine. fake
good care of her aud bring me the pro-
ceeds, whether in eggs or chickens,
and we will call /. square"
"All right, brother Moore and
the ola fellow chuckled at what he
thought capital bargain. lie kept
the contract strictly, and at the end
of the year found that he had paid
about four prices for his paper. He
often tells the joke on himself, and
says he never had the face to say he
was too poor to take paper since that
day"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
A Wild Cat Story Of Western Hang
ing.

Several years ago, when the West
was a comparatively new country, an
individual presented himself at the
door of log grocery, in the settlement
of which we write, and asked if there
was Judge in the place. Upon being
informed that the store-keeper himself
was Judge, the stranger proceeded !:
"Well, Judge, you see the facts of
the case is this: | was trayelin' along
with a pardner down here piece, an
he showed me a silver dollar which he
had. Well, wanted the money, and
he wasn't lookin' / popped him under
the ear with my pistol. Then | took
his silver and tobacker and cum along
alone; but | got to thinkin' the matter
over, and don't think did just the
ris hit thi"g by my pardner. My con
shuns has been troublin' me, AMI l
think | ought to be hung. Now, Judge,
il it wouldn't be too much trouble I'd
like to have you try me pretty soon
and have me hung. IF you doubt the
facts in the case, there's the dollar |
took from my pardner, and you'll find
his remains down the road IL piece, un.
der log. I'll feel obliged to you,
Judge, if you will have me hung"
The Judge told the stranger to make
himself comfortable at the hotel until
he could send some men down the eroad
to investigate the matter, and if they
found the body he would call a jury
and try the stranger, as was desired.
The dead man being found, the Judge
summoned q jury and sent word to
the stranger at the hotel, that if he
would step over to the store they would
give HIM trial.
The stranger appeared immediately,
shook hands with the judge and jury,
invited The court to take drink, and
appeared grateful and satisfied with
the proceedings.
The trial preceded socially, and the
tenderhearted jury brought in yer.
diet of guilty of manslaughier in the
first degree. A look of anxiety which
the stranger had worn up to this time
faded from his face as lie stood up to
receive his sentence. "Iou have been
found guilty." said the judge, "of the
crime of manslaughter, toi which you
are undoubtedly penitent." Here the
stranger again began to get anxious
and uneasy.
"And if" proceeded the judge, "it
meets with your appreciation, we will
try to hang you next Sunday morning
at IL O'Clock a. m. In the meantime
try to make youself as comfortable al
the hotel rs possible"
The stranger looked little sad and
the Judge asked him if he wasn't sat
isfed? If there was anything he could
do for him?
"Judge, l hate to be particular and
fussy," said the stranger, "but havin
the agAr an fever, the chils come on
at 10 o'clock in the mornin', an if you
could have me swing off before that
should feel obliged"
"Of course" said the Judge, "we
always respect a party's feelings. Nc
trouble at all. Come round at s
o'clock, and may be we'll get through
| before church time.
Sunday morning at 9 o'clock the
stranger came cut Of the hotel and
proceeded to the grocery. There he
met deputation of citizens, one o
whom threw lariat over the limb o.
a tree, and, rs soon as the stranger had
taken chew of tobacco and shaken
hands all round, they hauled him up
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
Sixteen Reasons.

A writer in one of our exchanges
gives the following plain and forcibli
reasons for abstinence from the use of
intoxicating liquors as a beverage. 1t
is a view sanctioned both by religion
and common sense:
1. Because ale, porter, gin, rum,
brandy, etc, all contain a spirit which
is calculated to derange the human
system.
2. Because none of these drinks, ne
an habitual beverage, are ever useful,
but always injurious to persons in
health, and many protesting Christians,
both young and old, have been ruined
by them.
3. Because drunkenness is a beset-
ting sin, and leads to idleness, quar-
relling, swearing, fighting, stealing,
adultery, murder, and almost every
other sin, and finally to eternal mise
ry.
4. Because drinking produces power
ty, bankruptcy, destruction of pro-
perty, loss Of reason, disease and pre-
mature death.
8. Because great deal Of valuable
time, labor and capital, are worse than
wasted upon making, vending and us.
ing these drinks.
o. Ducause over seventy millions Of
money, being more than the whole rev.
enue, ARE annually expended upon them
in the United Kingdom, which onght
to be laid out in food and manutac.
lures.
Z. Because nearly six millions of
bushels of good grain are annually
destroyed in this Christian land 10
make those liquors, while the markets
are high and many Of the poor are
starving,
8. Because intemperance obstructs
the progress Of civilization, education,
the religion Of Jesus, and every use
| tul reform.
8. Because abstinence is sure and
safe, but drinking moderately is dan.
gerous, and has lead to all the drunk.
enness in the world.
10. Because | find | cannot effect.
ually warn the drunkard, or set him
example, unless | am myself an en-
tire abstainer.
II. Because l like to join those who
are exerting themselves to promote the
temporal and spirital reformation and
happiness. of man.
~. Because it is important to set {
safe example of perfect sobriety to ou
children, friends and associates.
13. Because it is our Christian duty
TO deny ourselves even Of lawful thing
30 promote the happiness of others.
II. Because, while millions in time
and eternity have repented of drink
ing, not one has ever repented of alb
staining.
Is. Because, while no blessing i
prom, unced upon drinking, Gods ap
proval is frequently recorded in favo
Of abstinence. (See Jer. xXxv; Lux,
i, IS; Rom. xiv, 81; Prov. Xx, ~
16. Because i should be ashamed t,
touch, taste, handle, or keep in my
house, the article which is filling tn,
laud with dissipation, vice, poverty
misery, lamentaiion and woe.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
Gunpowder.

When gunpowder was first discover
ed to possess n projectile power, its
military application was confined to
kind Of mortar or lombard, Intended
as substitute for the enormous batter
ing machines then usually constructed.
The commencement of the fifteenth
century was the time of their origin
in the field for though the more mod
ern author, Vilani, asserts that they
were used at the battle Of Cressy, the
more accurate Froissart is enterely ST.
lent about them. Bilius, noble and
learned Milanese, who lived at the
time, speaks in his history of hand
guns as first used at the seige Of Lucca
in 1870. The Florentines had artille-
nv which discharged large stones by
means of gunpowder. "But the Luc.
cheese" says BiIius, "besides darts and
arrows, invented new kind of weap.
on; in their hands they held kind Of
club, about cubit and half in
length; t. this were attached iron
tubes, which, being filled with sulpher
and nitre, by the force Of fire emitted
iron balls. The blow, if it struck,waS
certain destruction.; neither armour
nor shields were sufficient protection,
for often two or three deer, if fired up
on, would be transperced by a single
hoIl
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
"a Large Contract"

A pretty good story is told of him
self (savs the Boston Traveler) by a
season ticket holder on the Boston and
Maine Railroads. wide-awake, jolly,
generous, ioke-loving gentleman, Dem
ocratic in his politics and liberal in his
religion. Riding in horse car short
time since, with the Catholic priest of
his village, who has been active in try
ing to induce his flock to become tenn
perate, he hmiliarly addressed him in
language sometniug as follows: Faith
or -, you a.e doing pretty good
work Just now-I don't know but you
are doing as much good as all the 9th
er clergymen in town" The priest
quietly replied that he was doing WHIT
he could TO improve his people. "lll
tell you what 1t is, continued the gem
tleman, II have been thinking about
attending your church, but was afraid
il would cost too much to get all my
sins parndoned." ooh" said the
priest, Eve can manage your case
when we have q very large contract we
make liberal discount The laugh
Ter that followed this response only
closed when the cars reached the end
of thir route. And the captain laughs
over the story as he repeats it until this
daY.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
LegisIating on Hoops.


In the Canadian House of Assem-
bly,, some time since, they had quite
spirited debate on the bill to prohibit
crinoline, introduced by Mr.. Aikens.
We publish few of the most brilliant
passages.
Mr.. Drummond was an ardent adj
mirer of hoops from childhood. He
was born with love of hoops. When
he was a child of tender growth he
used to trundle his hoop, all uncon-
scious of the fate that was in store for
him. Later in life he swallowed ring
which resulted in whooping cough,
and even now The sight Of an empty
hogshead bought tears to his eyes.
Mr.. Brown complained that it was
impossible now to choose wife, since
her defects were so hidden by hoops
and enveloped in crinoi,ne that the
naked
Speaker-Order.
Mr.. Brown-Mr. Speaker.
Speaker The honorable gentleman
is out of order.
Mr.. Brown-But, Mr.. Speaker, the
naked
Speaker-Hold your tonge, sir.
MIR. Brnwn-The naked
Speaker-Upon my soul, Brown, ST.
lence, or I'll have you arrested.
Mr.. BrJwn-Purmit me to explain,
Mr.. Speaker. When said the naked
Speaker yelling )-Clear the gale. les
of ladies, Mr.. Sergeant.
Mr.. Brown-ln the name Of the
seventeen graces and fifteen muses., Mr..
Speaker, let me apologize. | only
meant to say that hoops and crinoline
had reached to such Il rotundity that
it was impossible to arrive at the max
ed
Speaker (frantically)-Death and
blue devils! Stop, or I'll brain you
with the mace. Consider the impro.
pIiety Of
Brown (wildly)-Truth! truth
truth Naked truth was what he was
going to say.
Mr. Dunbar Ross understood his
honorable friend to say that the pco
pie friend to say that the people could
not pass along the streets without be
ing assaulted by highwaymon. Now
surely, the honorable member Lake
Ontario could not but be aware tha
the character of every member of the
House was affected by such dam
Mr.. Talbot Obj jected to such unpar
liamentary language.
Mr.. Ross protested against interrup
ton. lie was going to say dam
Mr.. Cameron The honorable mem
Der should not swear in that dreadful
manner.
Mr.. Ross-Wasn't doing anything
Of kind, hut would be tempted to d,
SO if not allowed to finish his sentence
but such dam order, order i;
dam confusion he would repeat i
by such dam tremendous uproar.
Mr.. Wright stood up and moved
amid the widest confusion, that Mr.
Ross he expelled from the House iol
such awful language.
Mr. Ross (black in the face) exclaim
ed that damaging statements was al
that he meant to say when he was in
/ terrupted by a fool-
Mr.. Talbot-Who's a fool?
Mr. Rnss-Foolish ass
Mr. Cameron-Who's an ass?
Mr. Ross Foolish assertions of pro
/ family.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04


A certain professor was noted for
having certain set illustrations, from
which he could not well deviate with
out running the risk of blunder. In
illustrating the powerful effects of
prussic acid, he was won't to inform
the class that drop placed on a dogs
tongue was sufficient to kill him. On
one occasion, when lecturing to his
class, he said:
"Mr. Smith," addressing a young
man whose chance Of passing was very
slender, what can you say of prussic
acid? 1t it powerful or otherwise?
at is rather powerful" F" said the stu
dent, obviously.
"Rather powerful !" said the proies
sor, Indignantly. "Put drop on your
tongue and it will kill dog"
The shout of laughter winch follow
ed, and Smiths confusion, revealed to
the professor that his illustration had
served double purpose.
There is 9 story in the Des Moines
Register about an Ohio girl who came
to Muscatine in the spring of 1861,
and in the fall enlisted in the Oath
Iowa Infantry, in which regiment she
SERVED till the close of the war. Then
she went back to her fathers house,
where she was received with open arms,
but never sad anything about her war
history; she in vested several hundred
of her savings in Northern Iowa land,
and became rich; q member Of her
own regiment fell in love with her,
never dreaming that she had fought
at his side, so changed was her appear
ance; but she told him her history and
they we're married. Then she told her
father about her military career, and
he didn't believe her; but he visited
Des Moines, consulted Gen. Baker and
the records, and found that j. =. .soyor
so.
Why do we admire the pretty feet
Of a maideny Because all's we'll that
ends we'll
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
SEASON OF 1901.
MASON Il HAMLIN CABINET
ORGANS.
Important Improvements. S.
Patent Juno 2lst and August 23d. 1870.
REDUCTION OFPRICES.


Patent Juno 2lst and August 23d. 1870.
REDUCTION OFPRICES.
Tho Mason Il Hamlin Organ Co., have
the pleasure of announcing important i'm
provements in their Cabinet Organs, for
which Patents were granted them in June
and August last. These are not merely
meretricious attachments, but enhance the
substantial excellence Of the instruments.
They are also enabled by increased tacil-
tiles a large new manuiactOry, they hope
hereafter 20 supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs made by this Com
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu-
rope, that few will need assurance of their
superiority.
fhev now offer -FOUR Octave Cabinet Or
gans, i'm quite plain cases but equal accord
ing 70 their capacity to any thing they make
for $50 each
The same, Doub'e Reed, S65. Five oc-
tave Double Reed Organs, Five stops, with
Knee swell and 1'remulant, in elegant case
with several OF the Mason and Hamli1
improvements, Sl25 The same Extra
with new Nox Humana, Automatic Swell
etc., $50. Five Octaves, three sets Reeds,
seven stops with Euphone; a splendid in
struments, S225.
A new illustrated catalogue with full
information, and repuced prices, is now
ready, and viii be sent free, with a testi-
mnnial circular, presenting great mass OF
evidence as "a the superiority of these in
struments, to any one sending his address
to MASON q HAMLIN ORGAN CO., l5f
fremont Street, Boston, os 5Y6 Broadway,
n. y. 30-it
4.OOP. NJ. Freight and Accumulation
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
How Count Rtmford Freed Bavaria
of beegars.
BY EDMUND QUINCY.

Bavaria was eaten up by pauperism
and beggary, in town and country.
This had long been the despair of her
ministers of state and religion. It
was reserved for an adventu"er from
beyond seas to free the state from these
cleaving mischieis. Thompson laid
his plans so wisely and took his pre-
cautions so prudently, that the miracle
was accomplished in one day. On the
morning of the lst of January, 1890,
the hosts of beggary went forth in
their strength to spoil the land. Be
fore night they were all under arrest
and the next morning humanely pro-
vided for. The helpless aud impotent
were more comfortable than they had
ever been before, while the sturdy and
able-bodied were set Ia work and made
useful members of society. And this
was done with 50 much discretion aud
wise humanity, that no yesteu interest
or even prejudice was disturbed, while
the whole population breathed ireer AT
being released from this ndious burden
Even the ancient guild o. heggars was
so tenderly dealt with, that thy bless
ed the change which had abolished it
and on one occasion when their bene
factor was i'll, they went in procession
10 the cathedral To offer up prayers fol
his recovery and ON another, they
set apart an hour every day for The
same service in his behalf-AtiaRti
M0mhh, for April.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
John *. Hallock,

A TTORNEY AT Law aud Solicitor of
n Patents, No. 565 French street(opposite
Reed IIouse) Erie. Pa. viii practice in
the several state Courts and the United
States Courts. Special attention given to
soliciti>. patents for Inventors; infringe
ments, Reissue and extension of patents
c6reflilly attended to. References: Hon.
James Campbell, Clarion; Hon. John $.
Nctnlmont. Franklin II. l.. 4 A. b..
Richmond, Neadyille; W. 4. Lathy. Ii
oneSia.- ri
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

An optical illusion.-A chandler
having had some candles stolen, u
person bid him be Of good cheer, for,
in a short time" said he, they will all
come 10 light"
Ladies want to be employed as post
office clerks. One of their strangest
recommendation is that they will
secure greater regularity in the arrival
of males.
A young man being asked why the
hair ON the top ofhis head was so thin,
exclaimed, "rhc girls pulled 1t out
pulling me in at the window"
A fence in Detroit bears the inserip-
ton For sore eyes or piles, read
the Tyf5ttne"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

The following is told of a young soci-
ETY. gentleman, who graduated from
Harvard; at the examination Of ply
sizes lac was asked: "Mr.-, What
planets were known TO the aucients?'
he respoded, There were Venus
and Jupiter, and, after pause,
81 think the Earth, but l am not quite
certain"
An Arkansas man, sentenced to be
hanged, is in had way. The neigh
horiug carpenter refused to build the
gallovs, and the Sheriff duL't know
how. The prisoner isa carpenter him
self and the Sheriff has tried sew
eral times to have him build il, hu
he says "hs'll be hanged if he will
Almost any young lady has puhii'
spirit enough to he williag to hav'
her fathers house used for a court
! housE
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

JRvINETON, PA. w. A. Hsllenbsck,
Proprietor. This hotel is NKw, and is
.ow open ~ n first class house, situate at
re junction OF the oil Creek q Allegheny
diver and Philadelphia Il Erie Railroads,
pposite the Depot. Parties having to lay
yer trains will And this the most conven-
ent hotel in town, with first-class accom-
aiodptions and reasonable charges. IT,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

"Long engagemen'S,' writes young
lady, "are going out ~ 'asn,'" ? ?
young men being at last conl'ceu oi
ihe stupidity of making matrlmonal
engagements until they are in II post
ton to fulfill their promise at once.
oBriaget, what has became ,,', Of ,lis The
IN ,'iS / creased my boots with tins
t'''',.n;ng$5 t''''"% 81 fried the buck wheat
m3'"' npGo. iS it," 80, was afraid you
/ had wasted IT,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
Tint Sons & Co.'s

NEW ENGINES. Theundersigned have
IN for sale and will receive orders for the
above Engine. Messrs. Tiff Sons q Co.
are now sending to this market their l2-
Horse Power Engine with lfHorso Power
Boiler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
OFFbSEs at Duncan n Chaliants, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, &C., Main st.
next door 10 Chase House, Pleasantville,
and at Mansion House, Titusville.
ii. X. BRETT Il son, Agents.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
EaIiIIXI!ES lIIl

BY REV. T. DE WITT TALMA0E,
The most Popular Preacher IN America.
Agents wanted everywhere, male OF te-
male, 10 sell this great work, is better than
Mark Twain, and no trouble 70 sell. Big
Profits. Send for terms and illustrated II
page circular, Evans, St0ddart " Co, Pub
fishers, No. 740 SAMSON ST., Philadelphia.
S-A
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

1t is no mark of gentleman to
swear. The most worthless and vile,
the ref sc of mankind, tie drunkard
aud prostitute swear, as well as the
best dressed and educated gentlemen.
No particular end ,wments are requis-
ite to give Il finish to the art Of ours
ing. The basest and meanest of man
kind swear with as much tact and skill
as the most refined and he who wish
es to degrade himself to the lowest
level of pollution and shame, should
learn to be common So carer. Any
man has talents enough to learn to
curse God, and imprccate Perlition on
themselves and their fellow men. Pro-
fame swearing never did any man any
good. No man is the richer, or wiser,
or happier for il 1t helps no mans
education or manners; recommends
no one to any society. 1t is disgust
ing to the refined; abominable to the
good insulting to those with whom
we associate; degrading to the mind ;
Improbable, needless, and injurious
To society; and wantonly to profane
His name,to call His vengeance down,
To curse Him, and to invoke His ven
geance, is, perhaps, of all otlenses, the
most awful in the sight Of God.-LOuth,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
DR.. j. L. Acomb,

DHYSICTAN AND SURGEON, who has
had fifteen years experience in large
and successful practice, will attend all
Grocery Store, located in Iidioute, near
'Tidioute House.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A fail assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Glass, Paints,
Oils. Cutlery, and fine Groceries, all of the
best quality, and will be sold at reasonable
ratios.
II. r. BURGESS, an experienced Drug
eist from New York, has charge of the
store. AllprescriPtions put up accurately.
tf. :
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
Exchange Hotel,

r OVER TIDIOUTE, Pa, n. 9. RAMS
IL pKEL 4 Son Props. This house having
been refited is now the most desirable stop
ping place in Tldioute. good Billiard
Room attached. 4ly
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
Syracuse House,

TN1DIOUTr, Pa, ]. q D MAoEE, Propio-
i tors. The house has been thoroughly
refittod and is now in the iirst-class order,
With the best of accommodations. Any
nformation concerning Oil Territory at
this point will be cheerfully furnished.
-ly j, n ID. MAtEE,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04

The eG-Emperor Napoleon says
that his return to France Is only a
question Of time, and tha, saouer or
later he will be restored o p.,wer
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
SUMNER CRY, Kansas,
March 7. 1871.

DDAR SIR: We have just organized
Sumner county. We have 600 inhab-
itants in Sumner county. There are
$50 bachelors in Sumner county.
Could there be that number of good,
industrious single ladies Of your State
Induced to come to sumner county,
Kansas? II so, l think they can fud
good, honest hard.workin" husbands
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
los. Y. Saul

practical Harness Maker and Sad
L dler. Three doors north of Holmes
Mouse, Tionesta; Pa. All work is war
rapted If.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-04-04
N. b. Smiley,
Holmes House,

ElNoNESTA, PA, opposite the Depot.
Il c. d. Mabie. Proprietor. Good sta
bling connected with the house. IT,