The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-03-14

''IfI should die, SIR" said feeblv
twill you please give my love to Clara Tell
her l did all l could to bear up-and 70
bear you up. o, dear Did you say nine
stone ten?'
"I did,
"You're giving p he roared again with
vehemence that revived me. "Keep up
little longer, my dear boy. 1 can hear
them coming in the distance."I
Which was another falsehood: but M
matter. Mr. Rowley was not a truthful
man. set myself firmly against the tree
according to his instructions, but it was of
no avail My heels, in a few more minutes
would slide gracefully away from me, was
certain, and the guardian of nv Clara
would be swinging about by one arm, like
an early Christian martyr. His blood
would be on my head, and so would he. if
he came down with his whole WEIGHT
perhaps armless-on top of me.
keep up p he cried in great fright
now. "You shall see Clara, when Won
like, my boy. will not say word against
the match, any more. You're fine. stran.
ping, brave fellow, that you area young
hercules ~
THANK you, Mr.. Rowley," answered;
and his words did sustain me a little, and
helped me to sustain him.
But L was sliding, slowly and surely
from under his feet when assistance 'ar.
rived men with ladders, and saws and
chisels; and Clara, too, wild with fright
and with tears streaming down her cheeks.
so, my poor gardy" she cried. go,
you wicked Alphonse it's all your dread
full fault"
This was the last feather on the cameIs
back. fell back, and the grand rush of
the servants at Mr.. Rowley's legs only
saved the guardian from summary disloca-
tion on the spot. He was got down with
difficulty, and once down, he was not
grateful.
GA pretty fool you have made of me-"
he said to Clara, as he walked away rub
bing his wrist "and pretty pair of fools
you and that boy are, too"
Still, after all, he was not so bad as ex
pected to find him. He was man who
kept his word, and for that I always re-
spected old Rowley. Clara and / saw
each other in a more rational manner. I
went to the hall once or twice she was at
my house on my eighteenth birthday, at a
little party which my mamma absurdly
called Juvenile in the invitations and
there Jack Edwards was too attentive to
Clara, and raised a jealous demon in my
breast.
l went to London shortly afterward
Clara and were to be engaged when l
"passed;' and if both were of the same
mind, her guardian said. But we were not.
While was walking the hospitals fellow
in the tallow-trade walked off with Clara
and do not think she resisted in the least.
1t was an excellent match, though he
was forty-seven, and very stout. l went
down to the wedding, and returned thanks
at the breakfast for the bridesmaids, one of
whom has promised to be mine when I set
up in business for myself.
GB Your husband has been eating oys-
ters, said doctor to woman, whose
husband he was visiting and prescribing
for
"Doctor, you are witch" replied the
woman.
A student had accompanied the physician
and asked him on the way out, how he as
certained this fact of the patient.
81 looked under the bed," said the doc
tor, "and there lay the shells"
A day or two after the student visited
the patient alone, and making his report
to his master, declared the patient beyond
medical skill.
He has eaten horse" said he.
"Impossible."
"But it is certainly true
"How do you make that out?'
"I looked under the bed, as you did,"
pleaded the student, "and there lay sad
die and bridle"
G5s' A magistrate of Waukesha, Wis,
who was called upon to perform the mar
riage ceremony, found, on arriving at the
house, that it was situated in the adioin-
ing county, and consequently beyond his
jurisdiction. The candidates for matri-
mony were, however, equal to the occasion.
They crossed the road into Waukesha
county, sloshed around in the snow, and
there, to use the fervid language of the 10.