Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1871-09-30

room Is quite large, I am sure" Now it wa,
mammals turn to harpocn US. "You know at
home, in our little dining room, there were
actually seven doors-yOu T, member, F.nny?"
"Were there, Bertha" faltered that long
"why, Of course there were There were
the parlor, study, kitchen, and hall-doOrs, be-
side the china-clcset, the pamphlet closet, and
youP'
think she did.
DR.: Hooper, Aunt Fanny. and myself all
lifted our glasses simultaneously, as ii TO drink
to the health Of Grandpspa Diapers doors, and
all strangled in the act.
Then We knew that he had heard.
When father had made a final exit through
the legitimate outlet, mammals perturbed spirit
soothed itself by increased attention to her
guest
throp landed the mullins, but gentle men honest
ly care more for cake, believe. This is fruit
cake. My sister gave il the name of the 'rheo-
logues' Special years ago, and always insists
visit u.s."
"Inever eat frnit-cake, madam, under any
circumstance" cried DIR. Hooper, with such
pronounced yekemence that even mamma re-
allied that dangers were abroad to which she
had no clue, and deity shifted the CONVERSE
ton TO the safe ground Of common acqusint-
ance.
All things have an end, and so had that awful
meal.
Aunt Fanny, pale and grim, went up to her
room, at mammals bidding, to prepare for the
rquisitOrial torture Of her tete-dtete drive with
the ma ostic Doctor.
Could Aunt Fanny slam a door? I am in
Gin, TO think the accusing angel would have
pleaded eNtenuating circumstances in her be-
half, even had the jar of double dOOr-shutting
been her fault, and not that of the breezy closet
which had so perhdiously betrayed her conf
dence.
However caused, the effects reached even out
to the piazza, whittier I'VE others had adjourn
ed, and the clangor was most grateful to my
ears till L detected an appreciative twinkle in
that tlreSome Doctors eye, which spoiled it all.
Immediately after Aunt Fanny left US, n
messenger came from Mrs. Howe urging
mammals instant return. SO that I was left alone
10 entertain our guest,-and very well did it,
L am convinced By my own recollection, aided
by subsequent contributions from his. In
voice which L was conscious was ludicrously
strained above its natural pitch, but which /
could not at all control, chartered on about L
know not what, giving him no opportunity
for reply.
Among other notable items, I am assured
that told DIR. Hooper, apropos of nothing, that
"Ingratitude is the basest of human vices and
also that, in M opinion, the Millennium would
not come until the celibacy of the clergy
became fixed fact; and from this latter position
1 am not inclined to recede.
At last the pony was driven around to the
door, and eagerly volunteered to summon the
lingering VICTIM but father, with iIl-timed con-
sideration, said "NO, no, child, you are tired
enough, after your foolish walk, to sit still.
can eau her from here perfectly well; she
room in warm weather, hasn't she?''
This was his Parthian shot. which left me
speeches., and brought Aunt Fanny down.
looking paler, primmer, and grimmer than
could have believed possible to her calm, sweet
nature.
DR.. Hooper solemnly handed her into the
phseton, seated himself by her side, and as thev
rode out of the gate together, went of in a III
OF hysterical laughter which lasted almost
unrespited through the evening.
My curiosity to see in what mood and manner
tnlS Darby and Joan WOulI come homo
came all my fatigue and early-to- bed intentions
But eleven O'Clock came before they did, and
my first glimpse OF Aunt Fanny's facets pink
bloom more than restored-satiated my curiosity
in such an unlocked for and melancholy man
ner that there was no spirit left in me, and
meekly said ''good night" and vanished
Twas "a sure at that instant of the awful fact
that we had "lOst Aunt Fanny as | was the
next morning, when she was guilty of the I'M
precedented otiense of delaying breakfast a
quarter of an hour, and at last came saunterng
in from the garden all Unconscious OF her crime,
with fresh rose-buds in her hair, her hair in
cTlmps, and Dr. Hooper's gray moustache in
close proximity!
If this were the proper time and place, L
should like 10 remark at length on the ways
that are sinful of certain clergymen, who, os-
tenslbly in attendance on meetings of the A. b.
q. +. NJ, State and county C's. s. s. A. and
\. nj. {. A. 3, absent themselves from the as
semblies OF their brethren, in secular devotion
to Aunt Fannys and young Fannys Dr.
hooper, for an example, could furnish far
more trustworthy report of the topography of
Jul IMAM OF the discussions
which agitated his peers during the three DAYS
following his opening sermon.
Can you believe that that hitherto confiding,
complaisant aunt of mine has never vouchsafed
anything but the most barren generallties in
regard TO that evening drive, and her escorts
defense against the charge of enves-,lroppinp?
1t must have been in provision of this base
requltal OF my tender identifying of her person
that Hateful afternoon that / hadremarked TO
Dr. Hooper on the speculative baseness of the
vice of ingratitude.
md when a certain
our house two months ago, had proclaimed on
the house-tops what spoken in the ear in
closets long before, L yentured to say to the
bridegroom: "CnCle Hooper, / suppose you
overheard me some weeks ago declaring that
would like to kiss Won. hadn't the least idea
at the time what misery you were going to bring
upon us, nor what wicked eaves-dropper YOU
were at that very moment, or L should have
expressed very different desiFe very different-
ly. But, if you will only tell me how you
inyeigled Aunt Fanny into forgiving you so
quickly for lying in wait in the Blue-room while
pair of unwary babes were babbling about
you VIII Try to forgive you even to the extent
ted myself, what did he,-that base eaves-drop-
per and desolated of our household? WHY, he
smiled triumphantly, patted me cavalieriy on
the head, and said: IL think little Fanny should
be fully satisfied to know that Aunt Fanny is
satisfied" and kissed-Aunt Fanny.
81 am Sir Oracle, let no dog bark"
/ have told you show we lost Aunt FannvD
but how DIR. Hooper managed TO secure her is
an awful mystery to this day. That he got her
surreptitiously through key-hole, so to speak,
is evident, for there Is every reason to believe
that had they "met by chance, the usual way"
our delegate would have eaten his meat with
singleness of heart, even without Aunt Fanny
for his cis-d-ris attended conscientiously to his
official duties, and finally adjourned to his
bachelor quarters sine die.
Yes; the long and the short of the story is that
we must forever mourn the loss of our angel of
the household, and that it was papa's own
particular iniquity OF Observation-Disclosures which
brought upon Us all the miseries of her "taking
off,"