South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-04-28
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
THE LAY OF THE LAND-Eggs.

a Cincinnati physician
A Coon BIRTHDAY PREsENT-A policy
in the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
WORTH remembering by money-hunt
ers-Shrouds have no pockets.
A DRUNKEN man can rarely walk in a
straight line. He's more used to rye.
tangle.
THOSE who most frequently visit the
watering places in the summer are milk
men.
POLICIES become selfsustaining in the
Washington Life Insurance Company, Of
. New York.
AN apothecary sent in bill to widow
lady, which ran thus: ITO curing your
husband till he diedl"
THE cigar bin of the young Wall street
millionaire, Dimock, is $1,000 year.
A LADY in Terre Haute, aged twenty
nine, has recently married her fourth hus-
band.
THE cost of boarding prisoners in the
Ohio Penitentiary last year was $46.30 per
head.
THEY have just got through surveying
Arizona, and tits found to contain seventy
million acres. -.-e .- -.....
THE young lady who is unable to sup
port riding habit should get into walk
ing habit. -'
A LADY calls the little memorandum her
butcher sends with the meat, pencilings
by the weigh" r+T.. tr
A SERVANT in a family at Bangor, Me-,
has saved, since September, 1S43, at a sal
ary of 81 per week, 81, 800.
A WRITER in the Boston Herald sug-
gests the taxing of cats as means of IA
cilitating the payment of the public debt.
A FEMALE lecturer says the only decent
thing about Adam was rib, and that
went to make something better. .-
THE difference between the school-boy
and the clerk-boy is, that one stores the
mind and the other minds the store.
THERE are nine persons living within
three miles of the Hudson, N. Y, Post
Office whose united age is 819 years, oran
average of 81 years. -rr -l-.f
CLERICAL ERRoR- -t..fs
4" High Parsons would have couples tarry
When they propose to wed in Lent;
But whys The sooner people marry,
The sooner, mostly, they repent.
THERE is a clergyman in Boston who
both breaches and practices. He breaches
on Sunday and practices (medicine) the
rest of the week. - -.-..t.-.
A MAN from the country visited all the
stores in Jasper, Ind, recently, to buy a
divorce. He was told they were :" Just out
of divorces, but would have full supply
in few days" '7f
A LONDON merchant, lately deceased,
left legacy of e20 to Gloucester school
master who once gave him a thrashing
that had been lifelong benefit to himY
"How much did he leave?" inquired
gentleman of wag on learning the death
of wealthy citizen. Everything" re-
sponded the wag; "he didn't take dollar
with him."
THE following expressive notice is poss
ed on the closed door of Brooklyn cob
bler's shop: "Thes beznies Is klozd fur
aa week tn elou thea bos A chanz ter bi
six" $500 " ..s
A QUAKER's advice to his son on his
wedding day: "When thee went a court
ing, told thee to keep thy eyes wide
open; now that you art married, tell
thee to keep them half shut"
AN exchange says: ave are in receipt
of two poems, one on the 'Throbbing
Brain and the other ona Beating Heart
We will wait until we receive one on the
Stomach Ache, and publish all three
together" Do 80 ..-.-.-.
DIR. HOLMES says: walking is a per-
petual falling, with a perpetual self-re-
covery. 1t is most complex, violent and
peIilous operation, which we divest of its
extreme danger only by continual practice
from very early period of life" .,.
$50 you're going to Alaska, are you,
young MANI" said en- old fur-hunter TO
Philadelphia youth, adding; You must
be careful how you kill the wife of ma
tive of that country, for no one was ever
known to be let off from such an accident
for less than two woelen blankets to the
beFeaved husband, and five to the Gov
ernor." I'D. Hr.trE -ef. . q
A LEARNED man has said that the hard
est words to pronounce in the English
language are, az made mistake" When
Frederick the Great wrote to the Senate
81 have Just lost battle, and it's my own
fault" Goldsmith says: "his confession
showed more greatness than his victories" "
THE aggregate sum paid to Alexander
Dumas, Sr, by publishers and theatrical
managers in the course of his long literary
career, exceeds three millions and half
francs. The amount which will be paid
to his heirs on his plays in France, is esti-
mated at fifteen thousand francs q year.
Dumas died largely in debt to his publish
ers. Michel Levy, Of Paris, alone is said
to lose by his death one hundred and fifty
thousand francs.
A LESSON.
LAST night weighed, quite wearied out, 81.
The question that perplexes stin;
And that sad spirit we call doubt 4r as f.
Made the good naught beside the III.
This morning, when with rested mind
try again the self same theme, ..-f
The whole is altered, and ind
The balance turned, the good supreme.
little sleep, brief nights rest,
Has changed the look OF all that Isl
Sure any creed hold at best -.. . -...
Needs humble holding after this.
Mrs JUDITH RUsT, who died at Ipswich,
Massachusetts, recently, was married on
Christmas Eve, 1893, and, although she
was on good terms with her family, yet
she never slept in her fathers house after
wards. There were ninety persons pres
ent at her wedding, and she survived them
all. She left two children, nineteen grand
children, thirty eight great-granchildren,
and one great-great- -grandchild living.
Eighteen of her grandchildren attended
her funeral. She slept upon the same bed
stead from the night of her marriage to
umbrella ever carried in Rowley. She
was bonn July 8, 1773, and died March 20,
1871.
In New Zealand, it is said, surface water
is entirely gone from large tracts, some
times covering 5000 square miles, for
months, and even for years. The region
becomes so utterly dry as to forbid the
possibility, apparently, of any survival of
frog life. And yet these reptiles seem to
beat the cat for tenacity of life; Tor
wherever rain falls sufficiently to fill the
water holes they are found to swarm with
frogs, and this when Immediately previous
one might dig for ten or twenty feet with
out finding any trace of water. A recent
writer offers solution. His statement is
that on a recent tour he became alarmed
for want of water. That a native called
in help, went Immediately to dry water
hole, found crooked and indistinct track
on what had once been mud, and followed
it up to the shade of small BUSH Here
he commenced digging, and soon found a
ball of clay, about eight inches in diane
ter. and quite dry on the outside. But