The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-10-27
HUMORS OF THE DAY.


To remove stains from character
Get rich.
Why is a treadmill like true con-
vert? Because its turning is the re-
suit of conviction.
A New Orleans policeman arrested
a man recently cor docking scornful-
ly at him"
Josh Billings says: Meyer do
any work before breakfast. If it is
ne 3essary 10 work before breakfast
have your breakfast first"
The Close of the season: Organ
dies end bareges for the ladies, and
hit woolens for gentleman.
The Court Journal announces that
Queen Victoria has to ill two va
caucies in the Garter which must
mean that she has TO fill the vacan-
cies in two carriers, say every morn
ing.
"Mr. Brown, owe you a grudge /;
remember that" Il shall not be
frightened, then: For 1 never knew
you &c pay anything that you owed"
New Jersey has published the fol
lowing pathetic epitaph:
She was not smart. she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swelliin'
| All empty stands her little chair
She died OF eatin' wateTmelin'.
A witty clergyman, accosted by an
old acquaintance by the name OF
| Cobb, replied: 81 don't know you.
sir" My name is Cobb" reioined
the man who was about half seas
over. All, sir" said the minister
| 10
l did not see the cob.D
"Ohi I see that you are afraid Of
me-" said the Rev. Sydney Smith
one day to young lady who sat be
side him at dinner. You crumblC
your bread, and that is an undenabl(
proof of shyness. | do it when I 81
by the Bishop of London, and will
both hands when l sit by the Arch
bishop.
A young Williamburgher though
he would play little with a shark
The shark also took hand in tn
game-the young mans hand.
"Have mot a right to be saucY if
please 2" asked a young lady of g.
old bachelor. \ es, if you please
but not if you displease," was the an
sweT.
The newest charm Is the form of
compass, and about the size of a cen
The oldest charm is in the form of
encompass, and about the signs Of az
sent.
Horace Greedy is reported as an
thority for the latest rule to secur
3 profit from poultry. If it is desire
| - than, 10 hai
legs togttheT, and then they can
8 stand up.
Two cents a pound having been o
fered by citizen of Danbury, CT
. for dead cats, people are able to hes
pin drop ofnights in the street.
D An ill-natured contemporary say
that Rhode Island goes for narrow
> gauge railroads because she wan
both rails to lie within her own te
ritory.
, A preacher whose custom was I
preach very long sermons, exchange
, with one who only preached half {
long. At about the customary tin
for dismissing the audience began
go out. This higera continued unit
= nearly all had left, when the seXto,
! walked up the pulpit stairs, and sal
to the preacher in a whisper, "Whe
you have got through, lock up, wi
you, and leave the key at my hous
next door to The church"
The anecdote told often by d
\ Chapman, in regard to himself, whe
called to visit little boy who ma
swallowed a silver twenty-five ceI
c piece, is not bad. MADAM" said I'll
renowned joker, in all solemnit,
twas the piece good ?" "Indeed
was sir" replied she surprised, bu
excited lady ~ got it from the mint
"Then, my dear madam" said D
ChaI man, eff the money was goo
give yourself no further uneasines
7 for 1t, UW certainly PdSSw
When for some years since, I'll
questions arose at Oxford for alterin
the fees for Gd euRdcn degrees f.
Trinity College, Dublin, the late d
Mansel settled the question by til
} following neat erigram:
- When Alma Mater her kind heart enlarge
Charges her graduates. graduates her charge
7 | What safer rule can guide the accountant DC
f Then that doubling fees to Dublin men?''
5 And when on one occasion, q cour
I try parson came up to take cut the d.
gree of .. D. by The process know
= as that of accumulation, where tn
NJ. A. to obtain higher degree 6
s once, writes double essay, Manst
] | wrote:
! L" When Rusticus, from Watercreases,
/. Comes to Oxford with his thesis,
It is cafe to give the hood aEa7
When an ASS writes SSA?"