The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-08-06
Mernlng Star and Catholic Messenger.
INV ORLEANS. SUNDAY, AUGUST 8. 1871.
WIT AND w1sDoM.


A big taing on eyes-Spectacles.
One has only to die to be praised.
Something always on hand-Your thumb.
A mere matter of form-Cutting dress.
The base ball clubs of course drink from
pitchers.
A wonderful mrial phenomenon-A flight
of stairs.
The man who works with wlu-the
Probate Judge.
What nation produces the most mar
riagesf Fascination. 4
What relatives ought to make the best
|pedestriansf Step-sons.
Some tailors would make capital dra-
goons-they charge 30.
"Do write, and fear not" is what the
girls cay to their correspondents.
Life is the greatest of conundrums, be-
cause everybody has to give it up.
An invalid at the ea-shore is trying to
get up his strength by eating mussels.
One fact it were vain for astronomers to
deny-that the /" Milky Way is q high'oay.
How many apples did our first parents
eat in the Garden of Edenf Ans.-Eve 8
and Adam 2.
Soft soap, in some shape, pleases all and
and generally speaking, the more "lye"
YOU put into it the better. -
How to be happy on the cheap-.Go with
ont your dinner, and see how happy you
will be-when supper-time comes.
One who wishes the world to know what
he knows about farming, says the best way
TO raise straw berries is with q spoon.
Of the loo1 young ladies who tainted
Last year. 9S7 fell into the arms of gentle
men. two fell on the floor, and one into a
water-butt
Grindgad says that farmers ought to
make the best disciplined soldiers in the
world. He never knew one of them to
neglect his drills. This is a narrowing
pleasantly.
A gentleman of experience has discover
ed one good thing in sea voyaging., he
every day; and everybody will think you
are sea SICK"
It is said that the man who won't take
paper because he can borrow one, has in
vented machine by which he can cook his
dinner by the smoke of his neighbours
chimney.
"Husband, hope you have no objection
to my being weighed" "Certalnly not,
my dear but why do you ask !; ve the g que1sdi
let me have my ,vcigh once"
Mrs. Partington, in illustration of the
proyerb, ga soft answer turneth away
wrath, says that cit is better to speak
paragorically of person, than to be all the
time flinging epitaphs at him."
A Wisconsin schoolboy having very good
naturedly helped another in a difficult les
son. was angrily questioned by the teacher,
"Why did you work his lessonf" I" To
lessen his work }" replied the youngster.
"what fine head your boy has" said
an admiring friend. Yes" said the fond
father, "be's chip of the old block, amt
YOU, johnny z" 81 guess So" said the
boy, "my teacher said 1 was young
blockhead."
uWife, do you know that have got
the pneumonia 2" New monia, indeed
Such extravaganza! You're the spend
thriftest man ever did see, to go and lay
| out YOUR money for such trash, when do
| need q new bonnet SO D.uch!"
A man stopping his paper, wrote to the
/ editor: 81 think folks ottent to spend
\ ther mummy fur paypul, my dadda diddant,
4 est man in the cornty, and had the smartest
/ family of bois that ever dugged taters.
A grumbler who was loud in complaint
4 because of the degeneracy of the times
H got this lefthanded sympathy, !" what
you say is undoubtedly true for remem
II Der that, when l was boy, heard ny
: father say that when he was boy, hs
I heard my grandfather say the same thing
A quaint old gentleman, Of an active
4 stirring disposition, had a man at work II
/ his garden who was quite tho reverse
jones'" said he, ibid you ever n see 2
said the old gentleman, "you must have
met him, for you never could overtak'
him."
" A Resemblance. Colonel Wilson is
fne-looking man, amt he % said frient
of ours the other day. YES" replied an
other, 81 was taken for him once; ,ou " ~ o.
why, you're the ugliest man l ever err saw 80 ",
81 don't care for that; was taken for him
Il L endorsed his note, and was taken TO
him-by the the sheriff's officer"
An Ohio editor heard Nilsson. Hear hir
rave! "She can go up to fever heat
down fifty degrees below zero with as niue
ease as water runs off goose's back, an
her voice fascinates wherever 1t reaches
She flats and sharps with the accuracy
the piaroforte, and her voice dies ava
like the echo of the voice of mercy"
A negro was brought up before the Mayo
of Philadelphia, short time since ice; T. e
stealing chickens. DWELL, Toby" said b
Honor what have you got to say II