The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-08-25
4 TERRIBLE PRtD|cANENT,
Governor Stanton Minus his
Breaches.
The War Horse LOseth his
Harness.
He Paws and Shorts Notwith-
standing.

There are times in the experience {
a public journalist when his duty COM
pels him to put on record facts and
occurrences that are painful to him and
which he wishes he were not forced to
give to the public.
Such a time comes to all who write
for the press.
Such time has come to us.
In another column we give an ac'
count of a robbery perpetrated at the
house of J. Ferguson, Esq, of Mounds
vile, on Wednesday night. In the
brief limits OF that paragraph we could
not give the evidence Of the depth OF
total depravity to which those who
Cracked that crib" had fallen.
We will do it now:
The vretches stole the brecches Of Gov.
B. F. Stanton of this city!
They also took all the money he had.
1t was fifty cent shinplaster.
The genuineness of that shinplaster
is in doubt-it is said to have been
bogus.
The "old war horse" went to Mounds
vile on Wednesday night to rip, and
rare, and snort, and tear against the
Convention iniquity. After he had
performed that, to him pleasing duty
he accepted the Inequalities OF Mr..
Ferguson. He was obliged TO. His
total wealth was that fifty cent scrip.
He couldn't get a bed at a hotel and a
square meal next morning for fifty cents,
could he?
After spending the latter part Of the
evening in peace, the war morse
peeled off his harness and wrapping
the mantle of his couch about him, laid
him down to pleasant dreams" in which
the words and figures 5000 majority
against the Convention iniquity" did
largely prevail.
While he slept the enemy came and
stole the"war horses" silver plated har,
ness-and the fifty cent shinplaster in
the pocket.
The gentle Aurora parted the curtains
of the night and let the daylight and
the sunlight shine through the gloam-
ing, when the "old war horse" awoke
with snort.
He began to feel for his trousers and
then to feel his oats. He raised his
body in bed and the hair raised on his
head His brooches wsre gone!
With snort and a yell the war
horse" sprang out of bed. He searched
high and low, here there and every
where.
There was nodisguisiug the fact that
the Governors breeches were gone.
So was that fifty cent shinplaster.
He was noble specimen to gaze upon
as he TODD there in the early dawn
meditating on the loss OF those
breeches; the tail of his only garment
fluttering in the breeze with all the
grace, vehemence and grandeur OF
a Fourth OF July flag, and the wind
blowing cody yet kindly on his legs.
He presented another phase OF the
nude departure.
Uttering a malediction on the pur-
loiner of his clothing, the Governor
called up the family and dove back in
to bed.
For, if the truth must be told, the
"war horse" is not proud Of his legs
They are very like his speeches against
the Constitutional Convention, too
thin," as the boys say.
After awhile Mr.. Ferguson called on
the Governor and explained that the
house had been robbed, and that the
Governors breeches had gone where
the woodbine twineth. A pair OF PAN
falcons was finally provided for the Gov
ernor, and he managed to reach this
city yesterday morning But he pre-
scented a queer spectacle. The borrow
ed pants were about four inches too long
in the leg and about five inches too
narrow around the waist, and the Gov.
ernor was kept busy in trying to keep
from walking out Of the legs or falling
out of the waist of them.
He managed to reach home, how
ever, and there obtained another outfit.
He declares that he. will never again
address an anti-Conyention meeting ex-
cept he takes two pairs Of pants along.
And another fiffy cont shin Mo ster