The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1871-09-01
SPRING HILL ITEMS.

For manS years before the war, DIR.
r. s., a worthy bachelor, resided In our
village, being engaged in the mercan-
tile business, and it may be pleasing to
his friends to recall some incidents con-
nected with his stay here.
The doctor was member of the de-
batting society, and on one occasion at
meeting OF the club, Mr.. 7. B W.,
young gentleman fresh from college,
had delivered highly finished produc-
ton, adorned with all the gracos OF
rhetoric, to which Dr.S. had to reply.
Being entirely unable to follow in the
same style, he effectually demolished
the force of his opponents speech, by
the following course: Rising up appa-
rently very much embarrassed, but
gathering confidence as he proceeded,
he said: "MR. PREsIDENT-While the
gentleman who has just taken his seat,
was addressing you, was forcibly re-
minded of circumstance which trans
pired in old North Carolina. Near a
village In that State, resided an indi-
vidual familiarity known as cold JOE
WHEELER" who was very much addict
ed to strong drink. 1t became necessa-
ry to take his plows and hoes to be
sharpened at the village shop, and while
the work was being done, he bought
large jug of whisky, from which he
took repeated drinks. AT length, the
work being completed, he tied the jug
and implements together and swung
them over his horses neck to return
home. Having mounted to his saddle,
such was his exhilaration, he very fool
isbly gave his horse furious cut with
a switch, which set him off at a rapid
gait, down rocky hill, but alas! for the
rider, his speed was soon brought to an
end. Many years and much labor had
stiffened the limbs of his faithful horse,
which, meeting with some obstruction,
stumbled violently, and fell headlong,
throwing plow-share, jug, and poor old
JOE many feet In advance. Dreadful
was the clangor, as head, jug and irons,
in one direful smash, came in contact
with the earth! The villagers observing
the awful mishap, hurried rapidly to
the spot, expecting to find JoE's brains
dashed out, or his neck broken, at least;
but he was not to DO killed so easily.
Raising up slowly, he said to the by
ISLANDERS, Gentlemen, never was so
consolidated, with such a coniungle-
ment Of a huzza, in all my life!' And
SO it was with me-" said DR.. S., II sur
vived my opponents speech, but when
he was soaring aloft on fancy's wings
when he went into that rhapsody about
rocks, hills, and wales, flowing brooks
and Towering lawns, I was never SO
consolidated with such conjungle-
ment ola huzza in all my life" The
doctor then proceeded with his speech
in the best manner he could, and such
was its effect, the arguments OF his OPP
ponent seemed to be forgotten.
In the, early years of his residence
hero, DIR. S. was suspected of cling a lit
tie too fond of his dram, but practiced
so much secrecy, he was never seen to
take drink. He was amusingly found
out, however, in the following manner:
1t was the custom of Esq. T. b. B. to
make daily morning visits to the Post
Office, kept in the store of DIR. S. On a
certain evening the Squire bad occasion
to return to the village, thus making
two visits in one day. On stepping into
the store, the doctor was discovered
coming out of the back room, hurriedly
wiping his mouth, and looking some
what embarrassed. "This is twice to-
day, DOCTOR" said Esq. B., abiding to
the two visits he had made: "No, said
the doctor, who supposed the Squire
had seen him drinking, "Upon my ho:-
or, this is the first time 1 have touched a
drop to-day" The hearty laugh that
followed showed the doctor that he was
caught, and he was so often rallied
about it afterwards, that he was cons
PEELED to acknowledge the corn"
SPRING HILL, Aug. q.