Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1871-03-17
HIEoH nEaFlot.

san Domingo rs said to be a place
.iWhere every prospect pleases, and
only man is vile,"
The editor Of the saugatuck CONNER
elQt thanks the friend who laid q doe
en- eggs on his table,"
Jim Fisk Gala himself Sampson, be-
cause sampson slew GOliah with nin
sling.-Ohfo State JOuTuQE
Some one asserts on good authority
/ that the 'early bird" caught cold ln-
stead Of O worm.
During peace a regiment Is quarter
/ cd; during wariimes &c ls occasional-
/ ~ cut TO pieces.
! A New Hampshire stage driver. who
has just retired, has I'm be u1uree uG
/ his life driven about 10000 miles OF
more than six times round the world.
A Boston physician says thar 'stha
gases generated by the bodies buried
under churches lead % dr0Wsiuers in.
the congregation"
Queen Vietoria's private fortune %
estimated &C &l7.000,OpQ, and peOpleust
why she old not dover the Princes
Louisa instead Of asking Phrliamenp
TO do it.
The great bell on Notre Dame, None
treal, is the largest but one in the
world. It weighs over l0.500 pounds,
and can be heard forty miles.
A citizen of Rutland, VT. standing
near some platform scales the other
day, asked colorpd individual, Can
a nigger weigh hog - To which the
IcolOned man replied, g Pat yourself on
dem scales, and zee IL hs oan'tP
An fmpud6us youngster came very
near getting his 8ar8 boxed She other
night at q wedding party for wishing
the bride many happy returns Of the
day" ar.4l.--.
| The editor of the Caunslt (Iud.)
Enquirer 10 named Drum. he ig the
BPirit-stirTing drum = we read abours
and he stirs the spirit with q spoon
I Louisville Ledger
"A Hoosier critic compates nilsson to
the Venice di Medies, and declares
Il that her s'duiceG ami divine Warbnugs'
I fell upon his beautihed heart IKE
the ''splashing mnsio of melOdiuua
! waterfalls upon a bed Of smashed
roses"
/ An item in an account sued upon in
j Winni shiek county, Iowa, ia For
burning a hols in my hall, and dauo-
Il ing therein, SIO." "A man who wunld
.l.isnrn q hole in nYbodV's hall, and
then dance in IT, deserves 20 bs sued,
! Mr.. Jones, Of Tennessee, would have
been killed by getting caught tn some
mach merry but for his presence Of
mind. which led him TO hug the shaft
tfightly, and revOlve with ~ at the
rate Of 100 times minute.
II A mother was amused the other day
to hear this bit OF 2 argument " from
how satan could have turned ont to be
such bad fellow-there wasn't any
tdevil 70 put him up to it i'''
4 A lady was looking at the beautiful
4 chrome of 1.-THE Birthplace Of Whit
tier,' when q bystABdef remarked that
it was painted by Thomas Hill. Oh,
yes, " replied she q i think be must
be a great artist. He painted the 30
] Cemeteriesl'
Iowa schoolm'ams are credited with
presence of mind. When q ld buy
gets too near the stove, and the bulge
OF his pants catche- fire, they set him
down in bucket Of water.
Marcus NJ .rton tried sixteen times,
without success, 10 be- elected governor
OF massachusetts, Al last in le40i 0A
the sixteenth trial, he won by one
majority. So much for perseverance,.
A satirieal young lady perpstrates
this Icon" " When does a young
/ man feel most down in the mouth
] When he il trying 20 cultivate mus
ltaehe. ''--ENew York MALL When ne
/ young lady catch s him alone there
] is considerable down in th their
lmoutha,
An exchange says that a street in
Peoria, which was known last year a.
% Turtle Dove Avenue" afterwards
% Honeymoon Terrace," E" has had itg
name charged 20 Nursery Row.
= California has q Town Whirh has paaseu
through all these grades. and ia now
called Poverty Flat"
A lady walking with her husband at
the seaside inquired Of bin the differ
ence between eXp"rtation and trans
F. aNs-.~s aaaH 4~snr H
piled, elf you we're on board yundeE
/ vessel, leaving England. you wound
be exported, and ] should be trans
! ported"
AZ meant to have told you Of that
/ hole, " said gentleman % his friend
| who was walking with him im his gear
den, and stunlbl d into pit full OF
I water. 90 No matter" " said the friend,
blowing the mud and water out Of bis
mouth, I've found it."
Miss Belle Brown, Of Keokuk, bad
j her cards printed /" Belle Brown" " be-
cause she admired the terminal ie. Cone
sternation has set in among Bellies
Immediate friends.
] Although it was once customary TO
call every high peak Of the Rocky
Mountains Is. 600 f-et in altitude, but
,me shows rs, 900 feet on actual meas
urement. There are many Of $4,000
feet. 1t is somewhat remar able how
regularly this height Is preserved. 50
far as measured there are twenty peaks
above 1900, and ten about 1900 rect
above the sea level.
i A story is told of one Meek, an Ore
Il gon pioneer, and great hunter. One
day an English traveller asked Why,
sir YOU must have been here long
time?" To this Meek replied, have.
sir; you NAV well say that Point
ling to Mount Hood, said be 20 the
] 7lrfrr Is aA Nnnt that
tain2 Well, sir he said 20 the inter
rogaied, q when I first came 90 this
country that mountain was hole ln
the ground"
An Irish woman few days ago went
to a dentist 60 have a tooth extracted.
She inquired the price and be told her
II dfty cents. IS 90 much, she suldi
but with ready wit she asked, " Would
YOU pull two IOr seventy -hve C0utsf'
: I" which the obliging dentist oonsen
. ted.
A dabbler in literature aud the hne
arts, who prided himself on bis lan-
! guage, me upon a youuEster sitting
! upon the bank of the river anEliua for
gudgeOnS, aud thus addressed him
~ Adolescence, art thou NOT euoeat or
4 ing to entice the hnny tribe % enWulL
. into their dentiCulated mouths q Dtrb-
ed hook, upon whose point ia aDzed
dainty allurementf' No. said the
boy, " I'm tishin'."
The Portsmouth On. H.) Chronicle
has heard OF the following: "A l4tlle
lady Of i've summers. whose father lu
IN omCeF Of rank in The United staler
nayal service, and uoW absent ou sea
, duty, WAS re1entlV Offering up her pe-
titions for the absent one, ana eun-
. Cluded as follows: 20, II "a Eleaao
send my dear papa home again aa quick
~ Uncle Sam will let you. hnother
Z three years old frequently hears the
, word Amen az church. ono uay
she asked. @ Mother. why DON'T sou
sag arleu3s s.VVhv should y say a,rlali
unestioned the mother. q Why 90 stop,
the pfayorW
Carolina, aud was marohed up fo th0
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