South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-08-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A SOFT BLow-A gentle breeze.
a ROOTED SORROw-The toothache.

H
A SOFT BLow-A gentle breeze.
A ROOTED SoRRow-The toothache.
FoRETHoUGHT and Prudence both say
insure your life. Take their advice, and
insure in the Washington.
| THERE are fourteen Americans studying
at the University of Leirsic, and sixty
seven at Berlin.
MAKE friends with life insurance, that
when you are old it may comfort YOU.
insure with the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
FLORIDA Furnishes her criminals by
prison diet of ham and eggs. They have
to turn out the military three or four times
a week to keep the outsiders from breaking
into the penitentiary.
THE following is from the Terre Haute
Mail "If the party who plays the ac-
Gordon in this vicinity at nights will only
change his tune occasionally, or sit where
We can scald him when the engine has
steam on, he will hear of something to his
advantage"
A wITESs under cross-examinatiOn, who
had been tortured by a lawyer for several
hours, at last asked for drink of water.
There" said the Judge, -" think you'd
better let that witness go now, as you have
pumped him dry"
A GENTLEMAN of Dubuque sent up a
little red balloon labeled SO that it should
be known who sent it and where FROM
In less than a week he received a letter
| from Akron, Ohio, that il had arrived
there, five hundred miles from where it
started.
Four young Scotchmen living in Kan
sas City, Mo, advertise i'll the Edinburg
Scotsman that they " find it difficult to
conform to the usages of American So
| ciety," and, in order to "revive the good
old associations of former days." long to
correspond with 81 limited number of
bonnie lasses of culture and refinement in
their native land"
Az "oracle at New Orleans, discours-
ing on the wonders of the Mississippi,
mentioned the iron coffin of De Soto,
containing the golden trumpet given him
by Queen Victoria. "Whatn exclaimed
one; "not Queen Victorian " Yes, sir,
Queen Victoria" "Why; she wasn't
born then by two hundred years or more"
don't care if she wasn't" was the bold
reply; al reckon she could leave it in her
will"
The Rochester Democrat is slightly sar-
castle on railroad line in that vicinity.
1t says that gentleman took the train q
few days ago on what is termed the
Huckleberry road" running between
Avon and Mount Morris. After the train |
started from Avon he discovered that he |
had left a valuable dog behind, but on ar
irving at Mount Morris the lost dog was |
found sitting at the station awaiting the |
arrival of his master.
LOGIC
'Tfs st ange, but true, that a common cat
Has gottsH tails-just think ofthati
Don't see it, ehY The fact is plain,
To prove it so rise L explain.
We say: cat has but one tail
Behold how logic lifts the veil:
Nocat has nine tsils: don't you see
one cat has one tail more tn n she?
Now add the one tail to the nine,
You'll ind full ten-tailed fell e.
As Holmes has said in his lone horse Shay"
Logic is logic, that's all say.
A FOREMAN of one of our factories was
aggravated by the action of a new hand
who failed to perform his duty right
although repeatedly explained to him He
told him what he thought of men who
did as he was doing mentioned the tOrfid
zone, and dipped to the very roots of the
English language for vigor of expression,
and then suddenly and quietly withdrew
on being informed that the anxious lis
tener was g deaf mute.-DGH5uTy Neacs.
ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS tells US
that "the average young woman spends
enough inventive power, enough financial
shrewdness, enough close foresight,
enough perturbation of spirit, enough
presence of mind, enough patience of hope
and anguish of regret upon one seasons
outfit had almost said upon one single
street suite make an excellent bank
cashier, or a comfortable graduate of a
theological seminary"
A COMMENCEMENT writes to an ex-
change, inqulring "what is the best treat
ment to prevent the development of hy-
drophobia in dogs" and is answered as fol-
lows: Don't really know about the best,
but if you will give your dog water
enough it is pretty certain he can't have
the disease. The safest way to insure him
an abundance of this Indispensable fluid is
TO anchor him in about seven feet of
water, so that his head will be from
eighteen to twenty-five inches below the
surface. In tnat way he can drink as
much as he wants. Any surplus he may
chance to swallow will do more good than
harm.
APRoPos of the stage of life behind
scenes, the Philadelphia Telegraph says:
81 We have heard Mr.. Murdoch tell of a
choice lot of patriots he was leading in
some place or other, who had, with intin-
ite care, been drilled to make certain ex-
in a set order. But brains to
adapt themselves to the situation they had
not. Mr. Murdoch made an inadvertant
of his own lines, and the fol
lowing short but emphatic dialogue was
the result: Hero-Would ye be slaves?
ShOuters-We wouldl we would Hero
Finding it too late to cry back, and trust
ing to luck)-Would ye be free men?
Shouters-We'd die frstl
DoING good under difficulties is thus IL
lustrated in the experience of a missionary ,
of the American Sunday School Union, in
a Western State: "At the first settlement
[ came to / found that there had never been
a Sunday-shool in that region, and the
people could hardly understand what l ,
wanted. One had never seen Sunday ,
school, and thought there must be some
trick about it Having some books with
me proposed to give him one. No, sir,
[ don't want it; can't afford it; for l J
know, if I take it, there will be some sort of
officer after taxes on it wrote on the |
fy-leaf No tax to be collected on this :
I
AT recent meeting of the Chamber of {
of South Bradford, England. it |
was reported that the growth of wool in '
Australia was increasing every year. The '
total imports of sheep and lambs wool into 7
Great Britain amounted to 191, SCI ,3S9 {
pounds in the first six months of 1871
against 169 S21, $40 pounds in 1870 and i
I44,174, ,733 pounds in 1869. In these to- S
ais the Australian wool amounted to 134, '
I35, ,2SS pounds during corresponding pc
RODS in 1871 against 135 92S 213 pounds in
1870 and 103, ~, ,827 pounds in 1869. The /
value of the imports of wool from Austria L
ia now amount to from S. 100000 to $10,- L
100000 month.
THE other day the rare sight was pre- I
,ented here of soft lobster just out of 4
MS old clothes, and his cast-of shell by Il
lis side. He was foolish enough to creep I
n a lobster net just before he took off his s
,vercoat, and was captured soft and fresh. n
Iobsters cast their shells once year, dur &
ng their growing period. Some time be- Z
ore they are very restless and uneasy, q
from the pain of the tight fit Z