The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-08-03
WHY LUCY ELLEN DID NOT MARRY.

Why didn't Lucy Ellen Marigold get
Now jest you let me tell you how it was.
Lucy Ellen was pretty enough; that
wasn't the trouble; but you see them
Marigolds, they're sort of queer Now l
don't go for ter say but she's as we'll off
single as merried there's two sides ter
every thing according to my thinking,
I'd as soon be single and my own mis-
tress, as like Miss Houyhock, who's al
ways a-lugging round baby in one
hand and adding of the work with
t'other; or like Miss Smilax-youve
heern tell of young Smilax, how awful
sweet he was on her while they were a.
courting? Law, bless you, how naturs
do change after Citing themselves mer-
ried: 'twasn't more'n fortnight afore
he changed his tune she'd no more
burst ask him for sixpence than you
burst put your head into lions mouth.
To be sure, it's different with man ;
If he don't marry. who's ter mend and
make for him? Who's ter coddle him
up, and hatter and encourage him like 7
Who's ter help him put the best foot for
ward, when things kind of hitch If
was asked, I'd jest advise all the men to
marry, and all the women to stay single
However, that's nothing ter do with
Lucy Ellen, that 1 see on, though ter be
sure she's took my advice, butno credit to
her, no more than if she'd took the var
ioloid when it was round. Maybe
you've heerd of her granther, Elder
MarigoldP The folks set heap by the
elder hereabouts, though he was the out
spokenest man that ever preached for
instance, there was Deacon Thrift, used
to live out on the turnpike; the deacon
was mighty close-fsted, you see, and
some folks went for ter say that it was
worse'n that. However, the elder got
wind of how the deacon he'd sold six
foot of wood to Widder Hood for good
cord, and the next Sabbath the elder he
gifts up in the pulpit and breaches about
the widder and the atherless-though
mercy knows Mrs. Hood hedn't no
children, and was a sight better off than
the deacon and elder put together; but
that wasn't no kind of reason why she
should be cheated out of her eye-teeth,
which they were false; and so the elder
he goes for ter say--a-leaning way out
over the pulpit-cushing and pointing
fust ter one place and then to another
:, "I don't care who it is, or where he sits
whether in the gallery or in the body
of the meeting-house, or an the deacOnS
Seat, the man that Il sell six foot Of
wood for a good cord is worthy of fire
end birthstone, and I'm afeerd he'll git
his deserts" I've heerd az how the dea-
con made restitootion bnt that's moth
ing ter do with Lucy Ellen as know OF,
only the elder was her gran'ther, and as
likely a man as ever give out psalm |;
however, she didn't inherit nothing
from him, except yoke of steers and
some farming stuff The fact was, the
Marigolds might hev been somebodies
instead of nobodies and nothings, if
Marsh Marigold hedn't merried as he
did, instead of merging as he ought to
hev done, though it don't become me to
say who he ought to hev merried.
Marsh, you see, was named after his
mothers family-the Marshes over the
river yonder; they were fust cousins ter
the Swamps and the Boggs, rich as mud
could make 'em. Wa'al, you see, Marsh
he spoiled it all by going and merrying
the slackest piece of flesh and blood that
ever handled broom, jest because she
he'd pretty face on ter her. Goodness,
inany's the times I've laughed till he'd
stitch in my side to hear old DR..
Heartsease tell about them highsterics
OF hers. You see one day she was took