Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-08-24
Brevities and Levities.

Brevities and LeVities.
| m A Hudson milkman was overhear'
singing to his fellow-craftsmen, Yes
we'll gather at the river"
nay At "a Sunday school in Ripon,
teacher asked little boy if he knew wha
the expression sewing tares" meant
"Courth I does" said he, pulling the sea
of his little trowsers round in front
there's tear my ma sowed; l feared il
sliding down hill"
aSr Old DR.. A-was quack, and
| very ignorant one. On one occasion he
was called by mistake to attend coun'
ell of physicians in a critical case. After
considerable discussion the opinion wasex-
| pressed by one that the patient was con-
| valescent. When it came to DR.. As
turn to speak "Convalescent," said he
"why, that's nothing serious; I've cureo
convalescence in "a hours"
Rar Tell not your secrets to your SER
want, for he will then be your master.
E% A man who was driving a COW
through the streets of Waupun. Wis, was
so much hustered by sudden bow from a
lady that, in return, he made a bow to the
COW and threw stone at the lady.
a@ The pastor of the Baptist church
in Cambridge baptised two young ladies
the other day and then married one OF
them right there in the church before she
had time to get dry.
sg A man bought a dog to hunt
wolves, a great dog celebrated for MS
pluck and speed. He set out one frosty
morning with his dog, who soon tracked a
wolf and put off for him at tremendous
pace. The owner travelled on fast as he
could and coming to wood-chopper he
asked him if he had seen dog and wolf
pass that way. He said he had Well,
how was it asked tine man. Itwas pref
ty much nip and tuck, said the wood chop
per, but if anything the dog was a leetle
ahead
s9r A rural youth was in the city one
day, and dropped CASUALTY in at q hard
ware store. Lounging through the store,
he camc tc large buzz-saw suspended
against the wall Giving it a rap with
his knuckles, producing a sharp ring, he
remarked to the storekeeper, who cameup
at the moment: "I had an old dad rip
ped to pieces by one of 'em fellows, last
weekp fetching, wasn't it?
@- A bad sign-to sign another mans
name 70 note.
E The happiest age for young
women-marriage; at least, sothey THINK
mr A man with moderate appetite
dined at a hotel. and after eating the
whole of a pig, was asked if he would not
have some pudding. He said he did not
care much about pudding, but if they had
another little hog he'd thank them for it.
IL A New Jersey editor has en-
nounced the death Of his uncle in Aus
tralia, leaving him gold mine and $780,
600. His village contemporary processes
to regard the matter as plan cunningly
devised to obtain credit for box OF pa
per collars and straw hat.
@ A young greenhorn was told that
if he pressed a certain young lady she
would sing. The next evening he asked
her to sing and she excused herself
why, Tharah,' said he, don't you think
you could thing,if l squeezedyou little !?
re- A young lady at Saratoga keeps
the records of her conquests in charms on
her bracelets, in the same way that an In
dian hangs scalps around his belt.
E A Lynchburg colored woman fell
thirty feet out of third story, striking
the ground head foremost They are fill
inc up the hole. She wasn't hurt any.
@ A Long Branch letter says: The
lack OF men everywhere here is a prolific
source of grief to the complimentary hal
of the world. Landlords are besought fol
beaux. Each and every feminine arrival
is looked upon with increasing disgust
Women sit in continuous rows upon
piazzas, and border parlors like SO many
wall flowers. They were in numbers al
last nights hop as seven to one. They
danced in pairs, promenaded in couplesanc
Demoaned to each other.
sa- A funny limb of the law had al
office next.door to a doctors shop. One
day an elderly gentleman of the old fogy
school blundered into the shop. :" Is the
doctor in ?" Don't live here" said the
lawyer. ooh I thought this was his
Office" "Ncxt door," Pray, sir, ha:
the Doctor many patients 2" "Not llv-
ing" The old gentleman told the story
in the vicinity, and the doctor threatened
the lawyer with libel"