The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1871-04-07

My vens eance.
always get my hit Of midday substance
ii the opposition shop now-.tb>alum j
Run,'s-tor | amt been t" slo''hs's fol-
months. If you'd like ter know why, wal
or whether or 20. I'd tell YOU. 1t Is be.
cause some of our boys had a mort lily Crane
idea OF Derrineers aud Bowics, and thel
don't take kindly yet to the sheriff ana inc
committee of vigilance. We're rising city
though, at West paruira aud what w,
shall hc in few years there amt no ''i'in
AT all but it'll be II sight. stranger ana II
YOU Of the rotten old country don @'iaM
your teeth with enrW. why, my name an
Hiram. -.
IUu see the great Pacific line ~oc>
throurh lis clean, and we've been ri>lh
eyer since il started There amt Il city out
West with more bars where y0n can haze
a smile or Il morning painter; i there ~
tell me OIL il. Then see what ln-!;t"otions
we've got rising fast, from Nathan u.
Auson'S store RIGHT down u the parali;!
Solid Milk and Butter Company. III Cross
street. number ten hundred am eight.
Slobl,s's is in Cross street, number nine, ~
p'raps you know. Absalom }. Runt'S Is III
Straight street, and there's mortal cnmty
between them TWO. It's the steam does it
think
| left off going TO SIobb>'S because |
thought il was good for me, bciN' . very
mild, inolfen>.ve sort OF Il fellow. You see
there was waiter ii Slnhb$$ a. hid sort
Of spite agin ne. ana he'd always civ" me
the worst cuts Of Tie beef and The latest
OF the mutton while rs to @ravv, | got
more gravy at kunt's in one day than them
Slobb,es let me have in week. Then |
uilus had the wettcSi salt and the stalrSt
bread, and the dirticst bit OF the table
Il fhpra l-,li' hat il.,t1
broken loose and turned round III the hCit,
thai knife WAS pat ior me.
We didn't like one ano:hcr-mc and the
wlit"r d.dn land We got more and more
enemies every day. till ! seen Very plain rs
there must be Il bust soon. kci.' it in,
though, for thought as something might
turn up 80 IL 10 let NE serve Mr.. Waiter
out by deputy.
There was another thing. too. as didn't
like ut HIctb>., only it wasn't thing, it
MAS i "rca; ugly customer Is ALWAYS sol on
m" -- mettypnorically, of course, mean,
f.. ne was allus mockiuc like at my hum
lic WAYS; and II ever | ordered MY "ia>- Of
auSthink, he Il roar iustantrr Tor the waiter.
aud call for q bottle. He made himself oil
pheasant to ne, he did. and >nlbt,ed me on
politics more than few; but | let it all
wait. saved it AL up, rs you may sup
pose, thinking how much | should like 10
nave II tut WIN MN buL L lltSCl SCSllitN
To get no chance till about week after
SIobbSes came out strong With new set OF
J. puddick' : Alabama 'Lertcrcr Plate, war
ranted to wear better than solid silver.
Them spoons and forks Just did shine ~ Il,
it seemed a pity to put 'cm in the soup. OF
to get 'em greasy. for YOU could see your
face in 'em, SO as you never got tired ui
wooins the expressing OF your features.
But even the sight OF them spoons didn't
settle me, and | wasn't going TO be tempt
ed into stopping when Runts had their
doors open 10 he and there was gravy and
welkum.
This citizen as allus sol on me was wash
ed in with the maine of Shmei-Shimci b.
Parsons was his tolaI-and his people made
so cuss of a mistake or other over his name,
l bel, or else they'd never ha' took this
one.
We got to the climax at last. we did, and
/ left without Il word, after servn' 'cm
both out pleasant like. 1t was like this. ia
had bit Of the toughest old steak ever
did stick teeth into since | chawed caou,-
chouc at school and got leather for it and
alter I'd been puzzlng my teeth with that
bit O steak Tor halt an hour who should
come In but Sh!uie;, and the iuSt thing he
does Is TO hang his great coat over the rail
where l WAS sitting, kuocii down nv felt
hat, and then laugh, t'ecring-llkc, at ME.
never says nothing; but that there was
tougher than the STEAK, and | could not
swallow 1t Il bit. But there | sits with that
coat touching OF ME, and the waiter half.
grlnnlnS at Inc 10 see me so uncomforta ,lr,
- reckon III Ike 10 claw the cJupIc on
yer up l thinks TO myself; and chen.
somehow, While | WAS :l-ballnrin' one of !
Puddlck'S Alabama 'Lerlcrcr Plate SPOONS
on my finger, let it slip into one O. nv
friend opposite Scoat-pockelS: when. think
ing us the poor thing might DC cold all alone
there by Itself, slips in another to keen il
company. shouldn't wonder il that
there coat was 10 hang lop.sided after th,t ;,
thinks l to myself and while my ncieLhor
was a.rlnnlng his eye down to the columns
OF the Vest Pdratrd Iitboon, | Just slips Il
couple oil forks into the other pocket. and
Then waits little While till my iren'. the
waiter, condcsvcndS TO take the bill after
which waits Il bit longer TOR dcccnry sake
and then gets up TO 90.
mas my iren the waiter. lust out.i1r
the swins,aoors, lookin' at me very soopcr-
cilyous like. and / says to him: " Sirn
softer geut that i'll box no. -
Every nice" he says shortly.
every nice.' / says. "rhem's nice
sci OF j. PuddicA's Alabama 'Lcctercr
Plate, too"
YES" be says, looking at me quite
Gurus, rs much as to say " What's up the
tree now"
"Shall you charge the forks and spoons
in his bill? says.
Charge what forks aud spoons in whose
b!ll!" he says, savage like.
"Oh, don't know don't ask me-"
says; "only thought he might pay for
them US is in his pockets"
l knowed what he'd do as well rs could
De, and l stopped outside that swing glass
door, peepins aud listening.
First thing my frcn' the waiter does is to
swing his hand by accident up against the
coat pocket, and then l see him jump,
when be goes straight up to the owner of
that there coat and says guile fierce and
loud, SO rs everybody began to look. "Tbjs
wont do, you, Sir"
"What won't do:' says the other.
This" says the waiter; aud he puts hi. |
hand in the pocket Of one side Of the coat
and brings out two j. Puddicks. Then he !
does the same on the other side, and laws |
all four on the table; when, without |
word, the gent leaps up, throws out |
one of his arms sudden, us if he |
wanted TO get rid of il, and the waiter
beng right in the way IL hit him
on MS nose, and down he went, but only !
To come mn ap.in ltLn -, ,,,,,,h l,3,, .,I.