The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-11-18

The drainage system of New Or
leans. when carried out, will increase
the limits of that city to the size of
combined New York and BROOKLYN.
The space will be large enongh to
accommodate population of 2,o0O,-
600.
In reply to inquiries. Mr.. Young.
chief Of the Eureau of Stttistic-, fur
nislles the following statement in re-
gard to the production and importa-
ton OF tobacco iii tie United States.
during the fiscal year ending June 30.
1871. Production--smokin tobacco.
20439. 250 pounds chewing tobacco
and snuff, 64.655.s s75 pounds cigars.
l.3l9.G75 thousand. Import;itions-
leaf tobacco. 1884, $50 pounds; cigars
49, ,962 pounds.
..Doctor." said nervous patient.
II had such disagreeabIe dreams last
night. | dreainpt tiEt my .grantlta tl,er
stood by my bed for hours shaking his
cane at me. :. What did you drink
before you went to bed?'' '.Oh, uoth-
ing but half IL bottle of Madeira
:. We'll. if you had drank the other
half. you would doubtless have also
seen your grandmother standing by
Your bed threatening you witha broom
stick
\ darkey was boa ting to Il grocer
OF the cleapnesS OF ten pounds Of
sugar he had bought ut Il rival shop.
Let me weigh the PACKAGE said
tie grocer. The darkey ;ls2ented. and
Il Il.
gentleman looked rerpleXed for Il
moment and then said: Guess he
didn't cheat dis chile much. for while
he was gettin' de sugar. | stole two
pair of shoes"
The Commantler-in-chie of the
German troops in France received
thirteen hundred dollars Il month: Il
general OF division. seven hundred
dollars Bri.lder-general. four
hundred, and da Colonel three hundred.
Cincinnati is full of vanity over her
grand new fountain, the gift of the
rich Mr.. Probasco, which cost over
100000 in gold. Her citizens con-
tintEally tell each other and the rest of
the world that it is the finest thing of
the sort in all creation.
When an old topper dies, the papers
say clEaritably that his death was occ;t-
stoned by ''ilregular habits" when
the fact is. there are 10 habits more
regular than the regular gtlzzling of
the regular soak.
Returns received since the public:i-
ton of the Thayer letter show that
7.153, ,333 barrels Of ttrmented liquors
were produced during the last fiscal
year.
\ jew was observed looking intent
II alta prodigious fine ham. what
are you saying to that ham. Mr.. Jac-
obs:'' Il was saying to it: Thou al
most perstadest Inc to bea Christian."
The wealthiest silver mine owner in
the world lives i'll Mexico. His name
is Jose Corresco. One OF several val
liable mines which he owns yields him
a monthly income of 5000, 900.
- s---
a blush Is a sign which Nature
hangs out to show where chastity
dwells.
Now that the embroidered sacq,le
has become the rage, the young ladies
devoutly pray Give It's this day our
daily braid.
Queery for real estate owIIers-IIow
can Il man make the most of his prop
erty when its least?
Why is Il whisky-shop like a col
lege? Because it needs class OF fresh
men to replace every class that gradu-
ates.
A Mr.. Teese recently married a Miss
Cross. 1t is believed he Teesed her
till she promised not to be Cross any
more.
Somebody says that politeness is like
an air-cusiion: There may be moth
ing in it, but IT eases Our jolts wonder
fully.
Some lawyers can't sleep. They lie
| on one side, and turn over and lie on
the other.
A writer on school discipline says !:
:! Without liberal use of the rod, it
is impossible to make boys smart
WHY cannot 81 deaf man be legally
convicted2 Because it is not lawful to
condemn Il man without hearing.
Do not choose your friend by his
| Looks lJnpft-op,a sI,nos offer, MIN. IL t1,a