Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1871-10-21
RUH0Rs or raEHlG

4 waist oftmc-A stout ! dIady's.
Motto fer a cat shoW-Comc to
the scratch!
Are women nearer angels since
they have worn high heels2
Il is easier for q man to be cnglg-
cd than to bcsongagiug.
Women are born women. Men
are born boys, and have to grow up
Marriage is often the end Of a
mans troubles-but w~hichlend!
No unfortunate trader looks so
| down in the mouth as q dentist.
The highest compliment to bar
! bcr-He died and made no sign,
Men often strike women before
marriage, and oftcnor afterwards.
The story of an unhappy marriage
is often q narrative ofmany w0r6S.
Nearly all women like soldiers,
and some would like good offer, sir.
Why should a proud lady wear a
vail? Because pride must have a
tall!
Why, If You are called loudly,
must you wear q wig? Because you
are 6Qtrled after.
One lady ought not to envy an
other lady's roam horse, because it is
not her own.
1t only takes four letters to make
love. They should be returned,
though, when it is over.
Why was Desdcmona like Lucy
Ashton? Because she was the bride
OF L'amour Moor.
Fashionable bootmakcrs cant al
ways cure ladies boots II they are
bad but they heel them.
Why is a mar who kicks out right
and left like an ancient robbcr? Be-
cause he's a freebooter.
1t is proposed that men who are
bald headed should have their mono
gram painted on the bare spot.
Sermons in s~tones-Monumcnts
commemoratiug heroic men and
heroic deeds.
The Arkansas journal says
Where II Office was two weeks
ago now runs the Mississippi River,
Out of respect for the Father OF Rty-
crs we left"
A little bit Of a thing, who had
just got back from aparty, was asked
by her mamma how she had enjoyed
herself. 80 mammal she said, I'm
so full Of happiness, | couldn't be nc
happier without | was bigger"
There must be some mistake abou'
this item, which we clip from an cx'
change. 1t says; "I,hc young mel
of the Wheeling watering-pIacei
have discarded white vests. Tht
Young ladies use so much oil OF
their hair, that a vest is only goot
for one evening on the piazza
The following correspondence i
said to have taken place between
merchant and one of his clients "Si
! your account has been standing To-
= two years | must have it settled i'm
m~ediately.' Answer: "Sir thing
usually settle by standing | regre
that my account is an exception. |
I it has been standing too long suppos'
! you let it run a little
A clergyman, who owned o farm
= found his plowman sitting on hi
: plow, resting his horse, Quoth tn
Clergyman: "John, wouldn't it be
good plan for you to have q goo,
stub-scythe here and be cutting 4 fey
. bushes along the fence while tn
v horse is resting q short time
"Wouldn't it be well sir" said join
= "for you to have a tub of potatoes i
tho pulpit, and when they are sing
. ing, peeIem awhile to be ready fc
Z the pot?"
A very happy rotort was that Of
y badgered witness to a lawyer name
Missing who was tormenting hin
The lawyer was defendinga prisonC
g charged with stealing a donkey. TIL
a prosecutor had left the animal tie
a up to a gate, and when he returnc
n it was gone, Missing was yer
severe in his examination Of Ii
~ witness. "Do you mean to say, wi
J.. ness, the donkey was stolen froT
n that gate. 81 mean to say, sir.
giving the judge and hen the jury
., sly look "the ass was Missing"
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