The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-01-14
9ttana 3rss $raa.s:
ottawa, ILL.,, Saturday. JaaaaFy - IN.
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

fuoleS. Dut tne SttOn8.mluoo0 mSiooo o1 W
years will scarcely stoop to the wesknessse Voas.
ing it, for this would be tacit confession that
Ghe has a bosom-which no maiden lady q go
tender years and masculine propeusitiss eealA
afford to acknowledge
Here is what caused lawsuit in Iowa:
In breach of promise Ease, the woman swors
that the accused had Rugged her every night for
several months, and Sunday nights uatil 8 o'clock
in the morning. The industrious culprit Was
fined one dollar and costs. -
Dan Rices paper wittily says:
From an independent standpoint it looks very
much as if the surest way for . Democrat 70 be
defeated for Congress is to get elected.
And the surest way for Radical to get to
Congress is "to come down with the stamps" and
contest a democrats seat.
Here is the last illustration Of the evils Of
laziness:
They tell of farmer in Kentucky who was 90
lazy that when he went to hoe corn he worked
30 slowly that the shade of his broadbrimmed
hat killed the plants.
The Clinton Register is responsible for this:
It is said that bones exposed to the action of
benxine are easily made into glue. If this b 90,
we have several animated glue factories persm.
ulating our streets.
A San Jose California; paper has sensation
article of column headed "A Girl Possessed Of
the Devil" Well, this may be a novelty in San
Jose, but girls similarly possessed are so abund.
ant that they have ceased to excite special at.
tehtion here.
A Galena divine is publicly deaouneing the
Galena Gazeae from his pulpit The Gasette, in
commenting on the sermon, says: "This L.
free country, aud we will do Is We - please"
The Mt Pleasant Journal thinks it pretty CO..
tain that the man who stopped his paper because
it wasn't run to suit his particular fancy, 10 the
same man that attempted to dam the Iissoari
river with the seat of . eane-bottoasd chair.
A Detroit paper has this good Joke On Jolly
hunter:
A Detroit man went out shooting pigeons, and
took flask OF brandy with him. On returning
home, he struck racing track in The suburbs Of
the city, and walked around it all night wen.
derlng why he didn't get to Detroit. At day.
Light the matter was made plain to him, and be
has sworn off That night, on a nile-trsck, va
the best temperance lecture he ever had.
The National Guard says its rival, the Repor.
ter, has come out in new dress, ''cut low in tho
tial to that style or not. er "A .
The Joliet Republican, copies our local squib
about the witness who ''sent hand" In Ais stead
to court, and attempts to make point, By cay.
ing that shat man Is q democrat and constant
reader of the FREE TRADER"
Not exactly correct. He was radical thea.
and read such newspapers as the Toledo Basde,
Joliet and Ottawa Republican, and other STUPID
radical sheets. Since he has Seea readiag -
FIRE. TRADER he has learned better, and now
ticket Of course.
This is the last dig at the Greek Crook, allies
Greeian bend:
ma" said a little urshin, psepiag from b.
meath the clothes, IL want some more cover on
the bed "Lie STILL my DEAR" said the mother.
until your sister comes home from church, she
has got = comforter for bustle"
Mr.. E. A. Bracket has taken Miss Annie
Dickinson's bust. n
The question is, how did he do it3
The Nation says: Mr.. Boutwell, has uncov.
cred his flank" We are sorry to hear this he
looked bad enough before.-Boston Post.
Ihe LOUISVILLE C0url<s-J0ur1l0l says; ut il
understsodl that the forthcoming census will
show that there are but thirteen words in the
English language that John Goode can spell
correctly"
An Iowa exchange says:
we are requested to say that the gentleman
who lett certain house in such haste as to for.
get his boots can have them by calling at the
'front.' door,-and an extra boot likewise.
1t would seem that it takes three boots In |
make pair out that way, still we should try to |
get along without the extra one. \
The local OF the Bloomington Louder calls a
"dead drunk' a total bsnzine eclipse" That's a |
good name for it. Weknow men here who suffer |
from partial, total and annual scipsss,- IL.
benzine eclipses lasting annually from one year |
to another. In these eclipses they are visible to
the naked eye aud often their faces get to be SO
red and brilliant that it is safer to look st them
through piece of glass-with something in il |
to modify the sight.
We hear a great deal about Tie spirit of the
German Press Doc. it mean Lager Beer
We are holding our mug for q reply.
The Bureau Co. Patrjo. tells US how thew ,p-
prcciat9 wcman's rights in that section:
A young lady of this city, who is strong adj /
vooate of woman's rights, had pair Of pants sent
hex as a Christmas presen,.
Here it what republican paper in Iowa says