davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-11-11

~ Poor men seek meat for their
stomach rich men seek stomachs for their
meat.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-11-11

EsYy" Blanks, bili-.cals, cards, circulars,
catalogues, bills of fare, postci', programmes,
pamphlets, etc, printed at reasonable rates
OrFrcn-Corncr of Second and Washing gton
Streets
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-11-11

business CuruS, PCT quHrtcr .'.'''''''.'.''" " w
psas~ A liberal deduction will be made in fa-
yor of those who advertise four squares, or up
wards by the year.
ssy- Legal notices viii! he charge! to the
attorney or officer authorizing their insertion
sey. Advertisements sent from distance,
and transient notices, must be accompanied by
the cash.
Esy- Announcements ,f births, marriages
and deaths inserted free OF charge.
n.y" Obituary notices, or poetry append
ed to marriages or deaths, will bc charged one
half our regular advertising rltrs. We VIII
nc. hereafter dcvate from this rule
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

yass and subjected to the same postag
as like matter sent by private persons.
am sure that the average cost per year
would be greatly enhanced. NY anxiety
to make the department self-sustaining,
arises from a strong desire to reduce and
make uniform rates of postage in 1871.
The amount derived from letter postage
was SIC, III 928.70, and from newspapers
and pamphlets only $685., 1895 80, and yet
the weight ard bulk of newspaper mails
are at least ten times greater than those
OF letter mails. This show that, while
newspapers are charged much less than
the cost Of their transmission, letters are
charged much more, and in fairness let
ers should be reduced in postage as soon
rs the finances of the department. will
permit. If letter postage could be re-
duced from to 2 cents | am sure that
the increased correspondence thereby
stimulated would, in few years, COM
pensate tor any temporary loss cfreve
nue., and that many vexatious losses would
be avoided by a uniform rate for all dis.
tances, which would thus be established ;
but despair of securing any further re-
duction OF letter postage SO long as the
tranking privilege shall be imposed up
on this department. 1t is not intended
to intimate that there should be an in
crease of postage on newspapers On the
contrary, It IS the duty Of the Govern
ment to aid in the education of the PEG
pie 10y carrying newspapers as cheaply
as possible, and hence / am Of opinion
that the present rates are not too low,
nor do object to the free transportation
of newspapers to regular subscribers in
the counties of their publication AS
BOW authorized by law, their convey
ance without charge does not interfere
with the speedy and regular transmission
of the mails. There is but one change
that deem advisable in the treatment
of newspapers, and that applies only to
those sent to points outside Of the coun-
ty where published would require
postage on printed matter in all cases to
be pre- paid by stamps. The law allow
ing postage to be paid in money by sub
sclibers at the office of delivery, is de-
parture from the accepted theory of Post
Office management, and only subjects the
department to heavy losses. ta.e.~
The Postmaster General earnestly rec
omnends the adoption, early in the ses-
sion of Congress, of the bill introduced
by Mr., Farnsworth, to revise, CONSOLE
date and amend the statutes relating to
the Post Office Department
The new postage regulations, and the
accumulation OF copper and nickel coins
in Post Offices, receive some attention In
the report. He resectfully recommends
the establishment of the postal card sys-
tenn, of which so much has been said, and
advocates it by the usual arguments. He
advises that the rate be fixed at one cent
including cost of card, as a first step tow
ard general reduction of letter postage.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
IN DARKNESS.

Father wilt thou hcarken to me.
Bending low thy gracious ear?
viii thy heart of love and pity
All my earnest pleading hears
Hear me. Father, for the pathway
Leads through deserts dark and drear
Gone the sunlight, all is shadow,
Much my coward heart doth fear.
Storms are gathering DER the mountain,
Looming up in dread array;
Wilt thou cover me, my Father,
Till the dawning of the day?
Oh, the night is dark and fearful
Powers of darkness join the fray,
Striving with their might internal,
Fiom thy hand to wrest the prey.
Let me feel thy hand. my Fat her,
Hear thy voice, assuring. say,
Child, thy Father walks beside thee,
Fearnot then the rough, dark way.
= Faint not. though the way be thorny,
Though the burden heavy be;
Fear rot, though the contest deepens,
For my grace shall strengthen thee.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
HYMN TO THE VIRGIN.

Virgin Mother maiden holy,
Pure, immaculate and bright,
Harken to US sinners lowly,
Be our guardian fair this night;
Wicked still, and still transgressing,
Mother we appeal TO thee;
Thou all sanclity possessing,
Maiden, spotless! pray for me.
holy Mother when before MS,
Pleasures path is shining bright,
Be thou watching sweetly DER US,
Lest we're dazzled by its light
When our bosom's faint or languish,
Helpless all, to fight or see,
Aid our weakness, cheer our anguish,
Maiden, spotless pray for me.
Aid us sinners, holy Mother
To repentance, when we fall;
Teach us wild desire to smother,
God, our love, should be our all.
Queen of angels, queen of Heaven!
Mournest thou our faults to see?
See that we may be forgiven,
Maiden, spotlessl pray for me.
-MIcHAEL QUIGLEY
Waterfront, Wis
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

DEAD LETTER OFFIcE-The dead let !.
ter office IS one of the m ,st curioEsly in
terestlng branches of the government
and the cause Of it, or the necessity for
such Institution, is a mystery. 1t is i'm.
possible almost to conceive of the care
lessness, stupidity and ignorance bv
which more than $4,000 letters were in.
trusted to the post office in a single wear,
tor which no designation could be found
in consequence of inaccuracies, imperfec.
tions, and fatal omissions in direction
upward OF 5000 having no address what
ever. And the mystery is the mora 10
markable when it is considered that
these letters contained money to the
amount of at least 100000, in small snms
generally, and checks, drafts etc, to the
of 100000 more This proper.
ty was Of course returned, or most of g
upon information obtained by opening
and examining the letters at the dead
letter office.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
From the Salem MASS Register

The following lines were addressed to our
venerable friend, Rev. Charles Cleveland, City
Missionary in Boston, by beloved niece. He
intended to keep them for his next annual
Report, but, as he says, his great age (9S)
teaches him that soon he shall depart from
earth for, as he trusts, happy home where
the spirit of his late beloved wife is in wait.
ing for him, he commits the lines SO crafty
ing to his heart, to our disposal, and we take
pleasure in presenting them to our readers
TO THE DEAR AGED MISSIONARY
OF BOSTON.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
WHAT is TRUE POLITENESS.
BY MRS. II. w. BEECHER.

"Ah! How do you do? I am truly
glad to see you! Oh dear, there's the
bell did hope we should have no
9 callers to interrupt us this evening
and that's surely Mr.. -, good fellow
enough; bat he makes such long calls,
and comes SO often, that he IS tedious.
wish the young folks were in, bat [
must be poJate, suppose" -anl with a
slightly impatient air, the lady went for
ward to receive the unwelcome guest.
How unfortunate that young people
must 90 through some modification, and
be subject to some slight rebuffs, before ex-
perience teaches them the wisdom of
Soloman's counsel" Restrain the foot
from the neigRbor's house, lest he grow
weary of thee and hate thee" I ALWAYS
feel sorry that they must learn this, It
is hard lesson for the young. And
am sorry for the hostess also. It is no
easy thing to temper GOODNESS with kind
ness in such cases. hope she will show
her annoyance as little as possible But
how is this j? Do my ears deceive
me?
sAh! Mr,I am quite delighted
to see you again. Walk right in. Lay
aside your overcoat, and spend the even
ing"
sob no! ! couldn't possibly. was
just passing, and could not resist the
temptation to ran in and inquire about
you all. Must stay only moment"
"Oh nonsense! can't allow you to
leave. You must stay to tea. Our
young people will soon be in, and to lose
your cal will be a great disappointment"
really ought not to stop tonight !;
but never know how to refuse you,
dear Mrs. -"
When the young people" came in,
they adjourned to the front parlor, and
were soon engaged in cheerful pleasant
discourse, while the hostess turned her
attention to her elderly guest.
"I am glad to be let off so easily. I
feared / should be compelled to entertain
Mr.. till tea time, and loose half nv
visit with you. But are you not we'll?
You look troubledr'
"Shall tell you honestly, l feel only
half sure that | am really welcome
guest here tonight"
"How can you say so? Do you not
know that you are always, and at all
times, welcome 2"
81 certainly did think 80 until within
q few moments"
A" What can have happened to change
your mind so suddenly?''
81 do so truly love you, Mary, that
[ shall tell you the whole truth frankly
When / came you met me with the great
est cordiality, and / was truly happy
to be with you once more. When the
bell rang, you seemed to dread the inter-
ruption and was half vexed when you
recognized the voice of your visitor.
That did not surprise me, for well un-
derstand how an unexpected call will in
interrupt and mar anticipated pleasure,
by distracting the attention, and draw
ing it away from the invited guests of
the evening. Yet it was only a "call,"
and need not have detained you long.
But was grieved and my faith in true
friendship sadly shaken, when I heard
your greeting to the rather tedious cal
ler.' Your manner was as winning, and
your qualification as apparent, as when I,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

ANECDoTE OF JUDGE POLAND" YAM
the Washington correspondent of the
Springfield Republican relates the follow
ing:
One of tue happiest hits at Drake was
made the other day, by Judge Poland of
Vermont. He says the wittiest things
that are going here In political social
circles. Some one asked Judge Poland
what he thought Of brakes appointment
as Chief Justice of the Court of Claims
He replied: Well, it reminds me of
Scotch story. You know that in Scotland
when man becomes a judge, he has the
title of Lord and he has the privilege
OF choosing his name. For instance, Mr..
Drake, if Scotch Judge might assume
the title of Lord Dundreary ii he chose
On q certain occasion man entirely unfit
for the place was made judge, and some
of the lawyers of the circuit were discus
sing the matter at dinner, and wondering
what title he would assume. Says one
Of them: can tell you what would be
an approp pirate title for him. His com
panions wanted to know what it was,
lord deEtverusI was the reply"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

HARDLY FAIR.-Doubtless many of our
readers have heard the story of the young
man who applied to Dean Richmond for
a position as conductor on the New York
Central railroad, and was asked if he had
a gold watch, diamond breastpin and
some other similar trinkets. When he
replied in the negative, Dean emphatical-
ly declined his services, saying:
All our conductors are supplied with
these articles, and we do not wish to
stand any new expense in that line"
This reminds an exchange of story
told with great gusto to jovial friend
IN New York, since gone to his last
account Many years ago he used to
say, /" Hank Miller was the great Omni
bus King of New York-that was before
street cars were known, and Hanks
buses were going on all the principal
lines He was a good natured man,
quiet and full OF fun. The drivers of the
buses were cashiers, too; received the
passengers money, made change, and at
night handed over the days receipts.
One evening, Hank was inspecting the
stalls of one of the stables, when Johnny
Derrick, well known driver, and as
shrewd a fellow as ever cracked whip
came in, and without noticing Hank,
emptied his pockets into the next stall.
and commenced to make up his ac-
count"
That's four shll n for Hank, and four
for me" he said, laying them in two diff
fere2t piles. "There's four shin for Hank
and four me" aud thus he continued
until the money was divided into two
piles, with an odd half dollar in Johnny's
hand.
:" How's this, J" says Johnny who does
this belong to? Well, we'll throw up,
heads for me and tails for Hank" and
up he tipped it.
Tails, by jung! !" he exclaimed: "ah,
but that wasn't fair; We'll try it again, .
and up it went once more.
Heads! Thought 1t was mime !" and
with satisfied air he poeketed his share
and started for the office to make his re-
turn Hank took short cut, and when
Johnny entered was behind the counter
ready to receive his money.
"Good even'n," said JOHNNY toucbino
his hat to Hank, as he laid the money on
the counter.
That's all right, JOHNNY" said Hank
quietly" we don't need your services any
more"
In how's that !? What's the matter
MI. Mlller?" exclaimed the aston1shed
John
Well, don't think you treated me
exactly fair" Hank dryly replied, yo4
ought 10 haze gioen me''another chance fog
that four shin"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

A young gentleman with an induiring turn
of mind wished TO be enlightened on the fol-
lowing If brooks are, as the poets call them,
the most joyous thing in nature, what are
they always murmuring about?
Because they have beds of stone.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
BY NJ. G. A.

Dear relative our Fathers gift
Is thine, of heightened days,
Crowned with his bIesslngs-tunes thy heart
To daily, grateful praise
By kind providence now reached
Ninety. eight earthly years;
In every care, and sorrow too,
He Gained the rising fears /; ~
In recent trials# keen, severe,
Has he not dried thy tears?
Thy dearest ones, so late thy joy,
Have entered into rest;
Departed for little while,
In Jesus they are blest
Their loss brings near the blessed hope,
Brings near the shining shore;
When friends there meet-those Fastening on
And those now gone before;
Reunions We anticipate,
Where parting is no more.
Thou hast been privileged and blest,
To labor for thy lord
Protected by his arm of strength,
Ard guided by his word;
Long thy loved Masters almoner
In duties manifold,
The bread OF heaven dispensing too
In instances untold;
1t is boon, in sucI cause
And service to grow old.
AS gently glides the rivers flow
To find its ocean bed,
So gently may'st thou reach the home
OF thine exalted Head
Not Deaths dark valley can be dark,
For thou wilt hear Him say,
My rod and staff shall comfort thee
Each step along the way;
Till the loud Halelujah notes
Shall ushe- in the day.
The covenant angel by thy side
Has walked THESE many years,
Sec ured thy footsteps every day,
And wiped away thy tears;
Oh may his presence thee attend
All thy remaining days;
Still aid thee to Gods promises
The eye Of faith to raise
Till faith and hope are lost in sight,
And endless joy and praise.
Ny son Charles Dexter died 18th of Au.
gust, and my wife the 21st of Nov.
Buffalo, Sept. 20, 1870.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

A man in Lee, Mass, boasts great
grandfather who had fourteen children
by his first wife, married widow with
five for second, and another, with ten
for his third. None Of the twenty-nine
children died under forty years of age,
1t was the fathers custom to give $l,40O
in silver as marriage portion to each of
his sons, and $500 to each daughter. At
his death he had 104 children and grand.
children, including sons and daughters
in. law.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

man living in Freetown, Bury, England;
- after due announcement" put up his wife
for sale the other night, the two having be.
come mutually tired of each other. There
were three bids-4s., 6s., and s.. and for
" knocked down" to Deighbor for whom
she had previously shown liking. The 'lot',
was borne away with rope around its neck.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

MUSIC HATH CHARMS. The LYONS
papers tell good story. The bed cham
bers OF two wealthy gentlemen are ada
cent, and thin partitions divide them.
One tenant spends his nights at his club
house, never returning home before half
past i've In the morning. His neighbor
rises at six, anG sits down at once to his
piano, which he does not quit until din
ner. The former complained to the
Commissary of Police, who laughed in
his face, and told him to keep better
hours. AS he had lease for six wears.
ne could not change his apartment. He
thought of sending challenge to his
neighbor; his neighbor was parayzed in
his lover limbs. He had his walls lined
with thick mattresses; till "sharps
penetrated into MS room He made his
servants take hammer and rap against
the wall His neighbor waited until he
was tired and then began to play. He
bought large hand organ, which was
sadly out of tune, and had a turnspit,
which would turn eight days without
being wound up, fitted to the organ.
The turnspit was put in motion after it
and the organ had been placed next the
chamber wall. The piano player bore
the organ for nineteen years; at the end
OF that time he sent a letter of truce He
was told that the club hunter had gone
out OF town and wouldn't be back in a
week. The pianist sold his lease. The
organ is still going
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12
POETRY.
@ LEAD METHROUGH TIE VALLEY.
BY REV. DAVID MILLARD.-H1s LAST POEM.

by REV. DAVID MILLARD.-HIs LAST POEM.
o lead me through the valley
OF Deaths dark dreary reign;
The way thou trod'st before me,
Thou Lamb of Calvary slain.
The lamp of life thou Dearest,
Will chase all fear away
No evil can befal me,
No tempter lead astray.
Q lead me thu ough the valley.
Where heart and flesh must fail
When earthly kindred leave me,
Let faith and hope prevail.
No merit can l offer,
For service rendered thee
But thou hast died for sinners
o then remember me.
To thee, fly all helpless,
Thou lover OF my soul;
o guide me Ger Deaths river,
Though pillows high nay roll.
o take me to that haven,
Beside the shining shore;
And land me where Death, vanquisAed,
Can prey on me no more.
There the celestial city,
With gatesAll open wide.
VIII welcome me to enter,
And there in bliss abide.
o what flood of glory,
Will burst upon my view
Such scenes of heavenly rapture,
AS mortals never knew.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12


A ROMANTIC STORY Louise Null
bach, in her Letters from Egypt" tells
a very romantic story about the wife of
Count Benedict, the French Minister
Plenipotentlary at the Prussian Court
before the outbreak Of the present war.
A very rich Greek merchant, resident at
Alexandra, had two black wives, whom
he loved dearly, and for whose service
ne provided a large retinue of beautiful
girls. One of his wives one day CHANGED
to see a charming white girl, and was so
pleased with her that she coaxed her
husband into buying her.
The beautiful girl became conf
dental servant and companion to her
negro mlstresses,and conducted herself to.
ward them in such sagacious manner tina
she became indispensable to them. Shot
sang to them, and gosslpped and frolick-
ed 50 gracefully that ennul was banshed
completely. She won their affection, and
through them also the affection Of her
master, the venerable Greek merchant.
But unfortunately the black wives sud-
denly fell sick one day, and before night
fall they were both dead Their disease
was known to nobody, and they were
slave, who had not left their side for q
moment during the few hou of their i'll
ness, seemed inconsolable She did her
best, however, to "a suagc the grief of
the ancient merchant, and in this way so
endeared herself to him that he adopted
her as his child and heir, since he was
just little too old to marry her. In
course of time the venerable sage re-
Joined his swarthy wives in the other
world, and the fortunate nymph came
into possession Of his millions. At this
stage Of her existence, Count Benedict,
who was then only a penniless attache to
the French consulate at AlexanL ria,
offered her his hand and heart, and,
having married her, with the aid Of her
wealth cut foi himself road to fame.
In this way she who was once a slave to
slaves became star in the circles of the
French world of fashion
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1871-01-12

Syntax-the tax on whisky.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-02-03
Advice Ofasl Old Lady.

Now, John, listen to me, for am older
than you, or I couldn't be your mother
Never do you marry q young woman, John,
before you have contrived to happen at the
house where she lives at least four Or five
times before breakfast. You should know
how late she lies in bed in the morning.
You should take notice whether her COM
plexion is the same in the morning as it is
in the evening, or whether the wash and
towel have robbed her of her evening bloom
You should take care to surprise her, 50
that you can see her in her morning dress,
and observe how her hair looks when she is
not expecting you. If possible you should
be where you could hear the morning con-
versation between her and her mother. If
she is ll-natured aud snappish to her moth
or, so she will be to you, depend on it. But
if you find her up and dressed neatly in the
morning, with the same countonanco. the
same smiles, the same neatly combed hair,
the same ready and pleasant answers to her
mother, which characterized her department
in the evening, and particularly it she is
lending hand to get the breakfast ready in
good season she is prize, John, and the
sooner you secure her to yourself the bet
ter.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-02-03

in front of the house which he desired t
live in.
"Wouldn't you like to go in p she ask
ed.
eyes. It's pity we haven't got thu
key
II have the key" said his wife, anc
| forthwith walked up the steps and proceeded
to open the door
"When did you get the key of Squire
Bent %
asked her husband.
yesterday aoAen I bought The house. .
said his wife, quietly.
Mr.. Newton gazed at bis wife in profound
establishment
"Wbat on earth do you mean, Elizabeth?'
he inquired.
''Just what say The house is mine,
and what is mine is thine. So the house Is
yours, Ezra
''Where in the name of goodness did you
raise the money p asked her husband, his
amazemsnt still as great as ever
II haven't been a managing wife for ten
years for nothing" said Mrs. Newton, smll-
ing.
With some difficulty Mrs, Newton per-
suadcd her husband that the price of the
house was really the result Of her savings.
He felt when he surveyed the commodlou5
arrangements of the new house, that he had
reason to be grateful for the prudence of bis
managing wife
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1871-02-03

AN INcoNsoLABLE WIDow.-Therc was
Dutch woman whose husband, Dietrich Van
Ponk, kicked the bucket and left her incon;
sofa Bile. Folks said grief would kill that
widow. She had figure of wood carved
that looked very much like her late hus-
band, in order to be constantly reminded of
the dear departed. In about half a year
she became interested in young shoema-
kcr, who finally married her. He had visi-
ted the widow not more than a fortnight,
when the servant told her that they were
out Of kindiing .weod, and asked what should
be done After a pause, the widow replied,
in very quiet way" Maybe, it ish veil
enough now to split up old Van Ponk vat
ISL up shtair."