The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-05-16
SPIRIT OF THE PRESS.
EDITORIAL OPINIONS OF THE LEADING JOURNALS
UPON CURRENT ToPIos-coMPILED EVERY
DAY FOR THE EVENING TEL EGRAPH.
MIR. PHILLIPS ON THE CHANGING
COMMITTEE /"
Fro,n The N. y, Tribune.

the plan proposed by the graceful and cpl
grammatic orator of the Bay State for paci-
flying the South We can never sufficiently
admire the craftsmanship of Mr.. Phillips.
There is no war that he cannot foresee, or
invent; no ill that he has not remedy for;
no possible combination of fractures for
which he has not an epigram ready. lie has
perfect faith that he can govern the universe
by epigrams; and punish it by eplthets. He
was born to command-on the rostrum. What
leader he isl Put him on the stage, before
the footlights, and he can tell any number of
men to 90 anywhere. He is the mitrailleuse
of the platform. He is most
dangerous when he is safest. Place him
on the steps of the Hotel de Vile,
and he would annihiate the Versailles Gov
eminent with bon mot. He could invent an
epigram that would keep the Paris Commune
running year. There is no doubt of it. He
is terrible this man. And to think that he is
probably full of epigrams undischarged. He
has never spared anybody or anything; except
one. Why has he spared Butler {? Probably
for the same reason that Butler has spared
him; neither has been able to think of an
epithet adequate to describe the other.
Scratch q Russian, Mr.. Phillips is fond of say
ing Che has nearly scraped the skin off that
Russian), and you will find Tartar. If you
scratch Phillips will you find Butler? We
cannot say; it is not our scratch. But Mr..
Butler evidently has an epigram worth to
him twice that, namely: Scratch Phillips, and
be will scratch back
Mr.. Phillips has two remedies for the Ku-
klux trouble, both bloody, both epigram
matte One is, to ''march thirty millions of
men to the Gulf" irrespective of women,
children, camps, baggage, hay, cows horses,
clean clothes. This is an old remedy of Mr.
Phillips. He is always marching that thirty
millions to the Gulf, on the slightest emer-
gency. We seem often to have seen them
Al1zs.. H.
liar to us. 1t is the easiest thing In the
world. 1t is only necessary for Mr. Phillips
to stand in Steinway Hall and say "march,"
and those thirty millions are off. Marvellous
man. And so cool, and so unexcited. But
he is to stay at home. What are they to do
at the Gulf? Bah ''Let me tell the tanner
of Galena that if he don't go to the Gulf,
the Gulf will come to him !" (Sensation.)
But MIR. Phillips holds his thirty millions
in reserve. His simple summer campaign is
to have Grant go down South and hang five
of the richest ex:generals he can catch. The
merit of this plan lies In its simplicity. And
it is so practicable. And it would instantly
inaugurate an era Of good feeling Many of
the most prominent men down there never
have been hung, but it isn't possible they
would object to 1T if it was put to them in
the right light. 1t is to be an amicable and
peaceable proceeding. "It does not need an
army. You do not need one hundred men,"
The process of arrest and execution is clearly
pointed out. AS beginning, Grant is to
60 down to Georgia and arrest some ex-
general, who counts his acres by thousands
and his wealth by millions, and stands pos
sessed of the admiration of half the South. Let
Grant track him to his lair in this nest of
assassins seize him at midnight (the most
tragic time in the whole twenty-four hours),
try him before daylight, and hang
him before the sun is an hour high. There
are all the picturesque elements of terror in
this. The mysterious hour, the swift trial,
the dangling millionaire. How sweet and
calm Mr.. Phillips is in contemplating it, and
he is not bloodthirsty either. He would limit
the number to five. Not another man, even
though his millions outnumbered his fingers
and toes Hang five of the first men in the
South in this quiet, unostentatious, winning
manner, and To more will want to be hung.
We don't need any army or any courts;
nothing, in fact, but rope, and perhaps a
cheerful epigram as they swing off. Mr.
Phillips and General Butler would be Just the
men to do it, if they would march to the
Gulf; they must themselves see that they
can't hang anybody, worth mentioning, if
they stay where they are.
This panacea is so promising that we beg
leave to suggest to the President to appoint a
hanging committee to visit the disturbed
districts during the recess of Congress, with
power to send for persons and papers; to read
the papers and to hang the persons. The
committee need not ba large but 1t should
have two heads-Mr Phillips and General
Butler. Let the committee move slowly down
towards the Gulf, hanging gently as it goes.
Mr. Phillips is not the man to ad wise scheme
he would not be willing to take the peril of
executing; we never knew him, in the most
troublous times to shrink from any danger It
was always with him a word and blow: and the
word first, then the blow wasn't needed
We have no doubt now that he is
ready to undertake this Southern mission
which he advises. We can almost see him
now executing it, He comes to a Southern
village with his committee He inquiries for
the assessors list. ''Who, says he, sis your
richest man? Show me your local Wander.
bilt." ''What do you purpose to do?" ask the
villagers. 81 purpose, says Mr.. Phillips,
''to hang him, in the name of the forty
second parallel. ''Wnat for?" SIN be
hanged if 1 know what for, says the orator;
what for? is a queer question gin free
country-has it never occurred to you to
scratch an ex-general millionaire? Try
1t; you will fnd a Ku-klux." :" At mid
night Mr.. Phillips and General Butler track
the Dives to his lair, scratch him till day
light, and then hang him up in sight of
the camp breakfast table. No more Ku-klux
In that region, but great terror falling on all
the country round about and everybody
asking Butler what he shall do to be saved
from Phillips. LIS not this a terrible picture?
But it is not so frightful as it will be TO have
Phillips coming around again, with a new
culver OF epigrams, IN 1872, and iocularly say
ing, 81 told you So" And, besides il is eco
nomical. Mr. Phillips will kill two birds with
one stone; he will despatch an ex-gsaeral and
ona Of tha roilliOnairas who WOuld aIo.. -