Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1871-02-08
with a Buckeye Editor.


i weekly contributor Of humorous sketcEe
to the Detroit Free Press, under the nom d
plume of - n. Quad, - gets of the following
- don't suppose that another man ever
lived like that Ohio editor wh0 lifted me out
of the back end Of the omnibus one night
LED me up five pair of stairs. and undertook
70 tell Inc how i was T. assist in RAINING the
local department OF the paTer. You see,
said he, labbing at a cockruach with the
shears, you want to be positive in what you
say folks here won't believe any Of your
suppose sos and allegations say what
You say IN words that can't be disputed OF.
If they arc disputed, send the fellow into the
next room, ana II TX him lie was q great
man for fun; he never laughed himself. hut
he had high appreciation of hum0r He
was always wanting me to get of something
sharp on some one, no matter who, and he
run me 50 much that had % quit For in
stance, he came down one morning and said .
Now, Charles, get off local hit on Julius
Caesar Why, sir, the old man died wears
ago No matter-nO matter he went on,
get Of something. or I'll discharge YOU As
seycnty-iye dollars year was an object To
me then, l handed IL pretty biting item.
hats good, that's positive. re replied.
and il went In. The paper had 1t been out
an hour before a dozen were crowding IN
d4tSA tAlA u titAAAANLtL - NfAL EGl2lt cesar
asked the old man of each in turn No
Well, then, who's running this Caesar bust
ness? Amt | here 10 disseminate knowl-
edge ? Don't | do her?' And he finally
threw another sheet en- 10 the points
80 Now Charles, said lie again get Of "a
lick at George shington-sumething under
a lively headline But he's been written
up l replied. No matter-get of some
thing, OF here's my note OF hand for the bal
ance due you As his note of hand was
rather a coed thing 70 keep, dug out Sc
we're thing under the name of Brutal Out
rage There Was a Washingt0nian society
in town, and half It's members We're rushing
up stairs before the edition was half off
Base wretch, shouted the president Cal
umIu0tor OF genius. squaked tie cid maid
secretary. ale rascal. missed youDg man.
with his hair behind HE ears Gentleman
and old maid, began the editor. as be rolled
back his sleeves, why am ! here Il any
of you know more about George Washington
than do, why Just take and run this Office
And they had 10 - away with their minds
in an unsatisfed state. Another time. when
lie had run over a whole volume Of ancient
history without finding any one to hit, says
he Get off something on me- That's
Just what I wanted, and | wrote: We want
wood On subscription to this paper Some
paper IN wood more than ten years ago, and
us about time they brought it in. We want
1t was in July, and
there were thirteen loads Of wood in front OF
the office before noon. They got there about
the same time, and the thirteen farmers came
up in a body. Gentlemen said the old
man, after they had stated their errands,
wood is wood wood is a noun is is
verb, and wood is a noun again. The obiec
tive case governs the requirements OF the
adverb, which is the possessive Of thirteen
loads, according TO chapter seventy-one, rule
three. And every time they want to say
anything about wood, he got OF that at
them, until they all went down IN body,
threateninp to vampire him al the first op-
portunity.
The last thing have any distinct reeol-
lection of was getting off something on the
mayor Of the town lie went by old Sykes
one evening without nOdding, aud heard
Go for Muggs give it to him hot, yank
him all to pieces, and leave his shattered
soul hanging TO the steeple of the court
house But, he | began, when Sykes
came close up to me, breathing hard, ana
saws he Young man 90 for Muggs-
hate to part with you, but Smith offers to
fill your situation for dollar less 80 !
sat down to do up Muggs. Sykes was going
away. and he left me TO my judgment.
wrote an article that thought would please
the old man for positiveness, and it went
under a triple heading. l was just locking
up the pastepot in the burglar-proof safe,
to keep it from the rats, when / heard
yelling on the streets and the office door
came in on me. | saw stars, comets, spots
on the sun, new moons, and came to IN
the next town, whence | sent the following
despatch to the old man 8 II you can pay
your board bill, stay where you are.-The
press is ruined, the Long Primer is in
hardy's horse-pond. The mailing table, the
band, and that new job rack went over the
dam last evening. Things amt as they was.
We made big hit on Mugs, and he retail
lated powerfully. l have hired out to
quiet xold farmer here, and think shan't
pursue the get off business any further
In about two months L got reply. Here
was all that was said: Young n,be al
ways positive in your assertion.