Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-10-06
Humorous.

SWITCH TENDERs-Hair pins.
Much IN BRIEF-The alphabet.
BACKG AMMONIA lady's panier.
TIE tune of the smoker-Spit-tune
TENNYsoN is again Idyling away his
time.
MANY plain young ladies live to be
pretty old ones.
ARE good looking women ever en-
gagged as plain cooks?'
VINO was Richard the Third before he
was himself again p
WHEN may a man be said to be
book? When he is % tome.
WHEN is young lady every like a
whale ?' When she's poulng.
A WESTERN editor reports money
"close, but not close enough to be
reached"
SOME LAWYERS can't sleep. They lie
on one side, and turn over and lie on
the other.
In TIME the mulberry tree becomes
silk gown--and a silk gown becomes a
woman.
INAPPROPRIATE reward of Merit: Que
rv-Ought an advocate of policy OF non
interference in every difficulty be re-
warded with meddIe
A HITHERTO unpublished medical ex-
perience: Doctor" Have you taken
any remedy ?" Patient" No, but I've
took lots of physic."
The latest extract from What ]
know about farming" Catch your but
terAies late in August. Select the deep
yellow ones if you would get good, sweet
salable butter.
A SWELL, wishing to make himself
interesting, asked, "Maria, what do you
suppose | was hundred years agor'
"Just what you are now, nothing at all"
was the prompt reply. o..rs
New JERSEY boat builders merely lay
the blanks onto the timbers and get in
side The musketoes run their sharp
bills through, and the men inside rlVet
them. No bolts are needed.
"WHERE do you hail from?" queried
q Yankee of a traveller. "Where do
won rain from ?" 81 don't rain at all"
said the astonished Jonathan. /" Nei,
ther do hail, so mind your own busi-
ness"
A LITTLE bit of thing, who had just
got back from a party, was asked Dy
her mamma how she enjoyed herself:
90, mammal" she said, Pm so full OF
happiness. | couldn't be no happier,
without wa' bigger"
SOMEBODY once asked Tom Corwin II
he had heard certain story OF Lewis
D. Campbell's. "Was it about himself?"
INQUIRED Mr.. Corwin. "No, | believe
not" "Wen, then, | never heard it,"
said Mr. Corwin, gravely.
A CORRESPONDENT asks, and then an
swers, the following riddle: What is
the difference between the passion for
chignons and storm at sea? One is
raging main, and the other raging
mania.
ON hearing the report that the shock
ing condition of the firemen's hose had
resulted in the destruction of large
amount of property, woman sat up
all night darning her husbands stock
ings.
MORE revenge for the Union-Saxon
tourist lat Irish railway station): what
time does the halfpast eleven tram start,
Paddy? ?' Porter: " At thurtty minutes
to twelve-sharrup, sir !" ..,. ..t
HARRY" Your dawg is very thin,
William" William" He is very
had but when he dies | am going to
stuff him, Harry" Harry (insipuating-
ly)-" Hadn't you better stuff him be-
fore he dies?"
THE rite of baptism being about to be
administered to several infants, con-
fused clergyman requested, with great
solemnity. that I" All children having
parents whom they wish to be baptized,
will please to present them before the
altar" .....,.4.
A SCoTcH minister recently told his
neighbor that he spoke two hours and
a half the Sunday previous. Why,
were YOU not tired to death p asked the
neiehbor. cav, nae," said he was
as fresh as rose; but 1t would nave
done your heart good to see how tlred
the congregation was"
A LADY, impelled by the demands OF
fashion to seek recreation (?) in the
country during the summer months,
writes back despairingly: Did YOU
ever revel in the gaities of a half grown,
torpid village, where walk to the
graveyard was the only recreation, and
where, if you Indignantly refuse, TO
walk, you were shudderingly reminded,
All, poor child, you may have to 60
there soon p" tt-