The herald. (Smyrna, Del.) 1870-1871, 1871-04-08
III REMARKABKE EXPOSITION OF
MASONIC MYSTERIES.

fiatser myself I understand some
} thing about secret societies. I've had
passion for that sort of thing ever sine,
, | was old enough to tell lies. / hav,
secuted around pretty extensively
among the different organizations. Nv,
been an orangeman and Fenian, ant
, Good Templar, and Counterfeter
and also Son of Malta. Ihave belong
ed to the Sons of Temperance, and the
Odd Fellows, and the Band of Hope
and band of robbers. I've been into
everything, and thought knew eve
: rything almost, but I idn't. Three
months ago I became infatuated with
masonry, and since Joined that organ
ization I've discovered that there are
several things connected Herewith that
outsiders don't know just pretty good
deal about. Now, Mr.. Editor, propose
making these secrets public, not out OF
compassion for my fellow-men, who
may be tending towards Masonry, and
act as warning and SO on, because I
haven't got spark othunaan Kindness
in my breast, and would rather see eve
ry mothers son pat to the torture than
not, but because have spite against
the fellows who initia, ed me, who made
the irons too hot, and the goat too frisky,
and trested me with a roughness, gerer-
ally, that the occasion did not warrant.
Before Illuminating my narrative, 1
| fofn fhn
Ddon't know, that Masonry is about six
thousand years old. 1t was old when
the fraternity got into trouble at the
tower of Babel, and it was old when
Adam first put on his apron as Grand
Master of Eden Lodge. AS more con-
vincing truth of its antiquity, I would
just me ltion that party OF miners, the
other day, in one of their excavations,
came upon the petrified remains of a
Mosonic Lodge, with the members in
their places and all complete; and emil
nent geoIogists W have examined the
fossils re of the opinion that these bo-
dies have bcen imbedded in the rock
for more than fifteen thousand years.
made my win and took most affect
ing leave of my family. Thus prepared,
started for the Lodge, accompanied
| t., who was to 'see me through" We
had no difficulty getting past the first
entrance; but when we knocked at the
second, flat little fellow looked out
through round hole in the door, and
put this startling insticatory to Brother
Smith: nhighcockalorum
to which Brother Smith replied cheer
fully: Nix-my dolly-whack doc. The
little fellow then said: FlodZestcomp-
britidytuTtum; and my conductor Civ
ing a satisfactory answer, we were per-
mitted to enter. Before l had time to
look around me, long-legged fellow
knocked me over with club; he then
stood me on my feet, and another ma
rauder made rush at me and brought
me down again. After / had undergone
exhilarating exercise for about five min
utes, they stretched me out on a bench
and examined my teeth, pinched my
muscles, and stuck pins into me all
ever, and showed cayenne pepper up my
nose, and poured moulten lead in my
trousers pockets, and pulled hairs out
of the back of my neck with red-hot
pincers, with view, / suppose, to make
feel unembarrassed and at home.
n
When came to my senses was alone
in the ante-room of the lodge. 1t was
lively and cheerful apartment. A cou-
pie of crocodiles were amuseing them
selves in corner, and few full-grown
rattlesnakes were practising TIE flying
trapeze on stove pipe. The furniture
consisted chiefly of half dozen num-
mics, the skeletons of Captain Kidd,
Lucretia Borgia, Guy Fawkes, Jack the
Giant Killer, Oliver Cromwell, the Wan
dering Jew, William the Conqueror,
Christopher Columbus and Dick Turpin;
a flying machine, three barrels of gum
powder, and remarkably healthy and
dozen pirates, clad in aprons and sash
es, rushed into the room with whoop.
One of them, the biggest and ugliest,
who appeared to be the chief, ordered
the attendants, in voice of thunder, to
trot out the animal. The attendants dis
appeared, but immediately reappeared,
leading AIN iron-clad goat, regular
doubls decker, with sixteen horns, a
pair of wings, and seven or eight tails
stuck up all over him. My eyes were
bandaged, and was told to mount. 1
said:
"Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, l
would rather not. I'm not accustomed
to going up in balloon; and, besides,
I've got an engagement down town. My
wife wants to see me particularly; I'll
be back in few minutes. rather
think my house is on fire, but I'll be
hack in few miDutes-yes, gentlemen
i'm a few -"
Before could finish my sentence, I
was seized from behind and planted
firmly astride the infer nal goat. Some
body then said, "Let go,' and away he
went. I've been through great many
perilous scenes; I've tahen part in all
election fight; I've been down in a rail
way collision, and up in a steamboat ex
plosion; I've fallen down three flights of
stairs, and walked out of IA fourth story
window, but this goat excursion Was a
little ahead of them all. When 1 com'-
reflect on the matter in cold blood, l
wonder that ever came out alive. The |
furious beast kicked and screamed. and |
rolled over, and turned back somer-