The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1871-07-19
The Patent Mode of Living.

am sometimes lost in delight as l read the
confident and generous directions of some man
who has solved the problem of correct living, and
given bis gospel to the world. How much bet
ter than any imagined millennium will that be
when we can conform oil our vile bodies to his
body; what sweet uniformity when we all eat
and drink, sleep and dress, and exercise exactly
as he has found it best for him. The process of
natural selection HIS been carried quite far enough
Let US be of one mind and one diet bran of one
bran, flesh Of one flesh. We shall all 20 to bed
at one hour. and that right early-except the ed
itors of morning journals, who will have dispen-
sation to die early. We shall all rise, like bed
of crocuses in Spring, at a very early hour, and
all together. Sickness will not excuse us, for
there Will be no excuse for sickness. At the
same time we shall all be engaged in taking an
air bath, plunge battle, sponge bath, a dry rub:
and then, dressing according TO a tabular set of
figures, finished by the central authority, showing
the proper weight Of each garment according to
we shall take a brisk walk of eleven minutes
We shall all saw wood for half an hour. il we
have no lifting machine, and then sit down to
breakfast to consist Of half a pint of filtered
water free from all animal substances), and two
quarters of dried apple, or any other fruit in
season, to be eaten with the utmost cheerfuness,
and even with a little moderate hilarity A dried
apple without bilarity is to be avoided After
breakfast we are to 20 to our various occupations
with a clear mind and an elastic frame By u
o'clock we shall be quite ready for dinner. This
meal is to be varied every day in the week-dif-
ferent kinds of brand bread, different kinds of
cracked wheat, different kinds of dried apples. and
other sorts of fruit that do not contain any kind
of acid which is hostile to the standard stomach
of the refOrmer whom We follow, TO be eaten with
a great deal of merriment mo matter who has
died, or who has gone into bankruptcy, to be
eaten in large quantities. In fact, we are all to
eat all we want at this king meal, with one res
friction. We are to leave of hungry and ex-
tremely hilarious. The dinner is not to cost over
eight cents, except you dine with friend. and he
pays the bill, in which case you may take sugar
on your fruit. After dinner you may take sizes
ia OF twenty minutes, and q nap in your chair;
but do not lie down and sleep with your mouth
shut in fly time, for animal food is absolutely pro-
hibited These directions may seem unimport-
ant; but nothing is trivial TO an important man.
as you will feel when you 60 to your business
with an inspiring step, sparkling eye. glowing
cheeks, fire in every limb, exutant blood in every
muscle, and the consciousness that you have no
butchers bill, grOcers bill, or mikman's, that YOU
'we no man dollar, and can keep the command
nents just as easy as you can wink. As you
walk along the street, you occasionally jump into
he air four or five feet, or leap over the bounda-
y fence and back. and laugh aloud. At supper
is best for you to eat nothing. except your own
heerfulnesss. But, if Nature will have some
hing, try little brown bread, raised without
east, slowly masticating it, thinking about but
er, and being careful to call up no image that
all induce excessive laughter for this is the time
begin to tranquilize the mind and prepare III
dissatisfied slumber.-CIGleS d. Warner.