Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1871-02-22
Deceit Of Song Writers.

The man who wrote "Home, Sweet
Home" never had q hOme.-E1-
change.
No, Of course not. All his folks at
home say that he didn't. Nobody
who writes about anything ever has
it. II q man is out Of anything, he
Immediately goes and writes about it.
No one writes 70 many headings
as the man who is out Of his head.
Certainly he didn't ever have any
home. The man who wrote my
Old Arm Chair,n never had an arm
chair in all his life. The best he had
was an old split-bottom chair, with
out any back to IL.
The author Of Take Me Back To
Switzerland" never was in SRitZer-
land. The nearest he ever came to il
was sitting in the William Tell sa-
loon, eating Sweitzsr case-Edss why,
I that was the best he could do.
The author of Mother. I've Come
Home to Die, hasn't spoken TO the
old woman for years, and wouldn't
20 near the house. Besides, he is one
Of that class OF SpirituRlists who
don't believe mothers ever WiH die.
His health was never better. His
mother is nothing but a mOther-in-
law, and she Is dead anyhow.
There is the author Of THE Old
Oaken Bucket" too there wasn't s
bucket on the whole farm, water be-
ing drawn with a tin pail and q els
tern pole.
The writer Of "If 1 had buta ThOus-
and a Year" stated privately to his
friends that he would be perfectly
contented with just half that sum, as
he was doing "chores" Just for his
board, and three months schooling
in the winter.
The author Of Champagne Char
lien never drank anything but ten
cent whisksy.
"Shells Of the Ocean, " is ahumbug.
The plaiRtive poet who represents
himself as wandering u summers
eve, with sea-bent thought On q pen
sive shore, was raised in the interior
Of Pennsylvania, and never wss ten
miles away from home in all his life.
Gathered Shells did he? All the
shells he ever gathered vert some
egg-ahells back of his mothers
kitchen.
The man who wrote "Hark, 1 HeaI
the Angel Sing" spent all his eve
ningsin concert beer saloons. Angels,
indeed!
The man who wrote the ''SOng Of
the Shirt" hadn't shirt to his back.
The composer Of "Oft in the Silly
| Night" used to get on a spree and
make the Silly night howl till day,
break.
THE author Of "I Knew a Bank
/ &c, didn't know one where he could
get his note discounted. The only
/ check he ever held was q Whit
"cheek'i on q farO-bank. He neveI
had a red check In all his life.
The author Of ave Metby Chance, ,
knew very well it was all arranged
before hand. He had been weeks II
co%ntriving it-and she admired ID
continuance.
The writer Of What Are the Wild
Waves Saying?" knew very vel
they were reproaching him for run
| ming away from Long Branch with
out paying his hotel bill.
"Who will Care for Mother Now %
Who indeed! You took the old wo
man to the pOor-house just beforl
writing the song ana mere IS nOOodl
but the pOOr-master to care for he
now.
The author of 'Rain on the Roof
always slept in the basement, excep
when he slept out Of doors.
The author of Let me kiss Hin
for His Mother" got mad because hi
mother wouldn't kiss him, and whip
ped her little boy within an inch o
his life.
The author OF 81 Dresmt I Dwell
In Marble Halls" used TO cheat 8
marbles when q boy, and his dream
was a horrid nightmare. brought Of
by remors at the recollection o
fraudulent marble hauls.
The author Of I'm Saddest when
Sing,n was tickled almost to death
invited to.