davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
A Discourse on DOwnfaIIs.

SUDDENNEss is, after all, the desidera.
tum. Suddenness and unexpectedness are
the essential qualities of wit. A joke to
be thoroughly enjoyable must be sharp,
sudden and unexpected. So, also, a seat
on the sidewalk. This is the reason WHY
a seat on the sidewalk is so much like a
good joke, it is, in fact, good joke. Any
thing, therefore, that promotes it is com
mendable. And so we always view with
admiration these little slippery places that
cross the walk from caves, troughs, and
water conductors--thaw in the sun, you
know, and freeze at sundown. We admire
them ever so much-go way round them
TO admire them. They are such good
things to happen on as you are going home
late at night thinking of your Mary Ann,
or your quarterly dividend, or your starry
days, or who is going to make you your
next present, and what it will be you
strike one of these oases, so 10 speak, in
u desert of blue stone, and with scarcely
an effort on your part you sit down.
There's something about II so easy, and
with all so kind of sudden like, and it's so
quick over, and you don't have to stand
round getting ready for II and shivering
over il as boys do when they go in swim,
ming on cold day and it is so warming
when you get there, and so cooling if you
stay there little while; and II is so en-.
too, about your teeth, if you've
ever had any doubts about their being set
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
UnanswerabIe Arguments.

Established facts are silent arguments which
neither pen nor tongue can shake, and IL is upon
established facts that the reputation of Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters, as a health-preserving
elixir, and wholesome and powerful remedy, Is
based When witnesses come forward in crowds,
year after year, and reiterate the statements
in relation TO the beneficial effects of medicine
upon themselves disbelief in its efficacy is literally
impossible. The credentials of this unequaled
tonic and Alternative, extending over period Of
nearly twenty years, include individuals Of every
class, and residents of every cline, and refer to
the most prevalent among the complaints which
aflict and harrass the human family, Either a
multitude of people, strangers to each other, have
annually been seized with an insane and motive
less desire to deceive the public, or Hostetter's
Bitters for no less than fifth of century, have
been afording such relief to sufferers from indi-
geston, fever and ague, biliousness, general de-
bilty, and nervous disorders, as no other prepar-
alton has impaired, To-day, 'Ohtle The eyes Of
he reader are upon these lines, tens Of thousands
OF persons of both sexes are relying upon the Bit
ters as a sure defense against the ailments which
the present season engenders, and thir confidence
is not misplaced. The local potions which inter
ested dealers sometimes endeavor 10 foist upon the
sick in Its stead are everywhere meeting the fate
that Is due TO fraud and imposture, while the de-
mand for the great vegetable specific in constantly
increasing.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
A GrIsrons Wrong.

THERE is the soundest common sense in
the following paragraph from the Manu-
tdcturer and Builder.
Why Is 1t that there is such a repug-
nance on the part of parents to putting
their sons to trader A skilled mechanic
is an Independent man. Go where he will
his craft will bring him support. He need
ask favors of none. He has literally his
fortune in his own hands. Yet foolish
parents-ambitious that their sons should
" rise in the world, as they say--are more
willing that they should study for a pro-
fession, with the chances of even moderate
success heavily against them, or run the
risk of spending their manhood in the
ignoble task of retailing dry goods, or Of
toiling at the accountants desk, than learn
trade which would bring them manly
strength, health and independence In
point of fact the method they choose is
the one least likely to achieve the advance
ment aimed at, for the supply of candidates
for errand boys" dry goods clerks, and
Kindred occupations, is nOtoriously over
stocked; while, on the other hand, the de-
mand for really skilled mechanics of every
description is as notoriously beyond the
supply. The crying need of this country
today is for skilled labor; and that father
who neglects to provide his son with use
full trade, and to see that he thoroughly
masters it, does him grievous wrong
and runs the risk of helping by SO much
to increase the stock of idle and dependent.
If not vicious, members of society. It is
stated in the report of the Prison Associa-
tion, lately issued, that of fourteen thou
sand five hundred and ninety-six prisoners
confined in the thirty states, in 1867, sew
enty-seven per cent, or over ten thousand
OF the number had never learned trade
The fact conveys lesson of profound in
terest to those who have in charge the
training of boys, and girls too, for the
active duties of life,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
A Recipe for Happiness.

1T is simply when you rise in the
morning to form the resolution to make
the day happy one to fellow creature.
IL Is easily done; left-off garment to the
man who needs it; kind word to the sor
roWful; an encouraging expression to the
striving-trifies in themselves as light as
air-will do it, at least for twentv.four
hours; and if you are young, depend upon
it that it will tell when you are old, rest
assured it will send you gently and hap
PLY down the stream of time to eternity.
Look at the result You send one person
only one-happily through the day that
is three hundred and sixty-five in the
course of year; and supp Sc you live
forty years only after you commence this
course, you have made fourteen thousand
six hundred human beings happy, at least
for a time. Now, worthy reader, is not
this simple? We do not often indulge in
a moral dose, but this is so small a pill,
that no one needs currant Jelly to disguise
Its flavor, and requires to be taken but
once day, that we feel warranted in
prescribing it. 1t is most excellent for
digestion, and a promoter of pleasant slum.
ber.-ErchdR,s
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
Employment for Children.

"MAMMA, what shall | doY" queries
little Mary, one day after Willy had gone
to school. The room was very still and
quiet John was In the field, baby was
asleep and was sewing.
What shall you do, little oneY You're
not big enough to do anythingi"
Yes, mamma, am " she pleaded, but
went on with my work giving no more
heed to the little one, but was soon con-
vinced the child was right She was big
enough to do something, but that some
thing was mischief Hearing no sound
from her, looked about to see what the
child was busying herself with so silently.
On the floor, behind my chair, sat little
Mary with my knitting, her own little
stocking, and OH in such condition.
Every needle was drawn from the stitches
and thrust into the stocking promiscuously
two or three rounds raveled, and the yarn
tangled and twisted, till 1t was impossible
to pick 1t out without breaking. She was
trying to wind up the yarn, but unwOund
it instead
Mary, child, what are you doing?"
Don't you see, mamma? am knitting
but I've got done now:" and gathering the
disorderly mass in her apron, she came
and laid 1t in my lap. "I can't fix it good,
won't you mamma?"
was tempted to give the child a sharp
reproof, but on consideration, only said
Mary isn't old enough to knit; see a
part of your pretty little stocking is spoiled,
Now remember, dear, you mustn't try to
knit any more"
=" will, mamma; but l wanted TO do
something's" replied the little innocent.
The child really was not as much to
blame as l. This is the first knitting !
have had since last fall, and l have never
told her until now not to meddle with it ;
so she did not disoby me and merited no
reproof, acting with innocent, childlike
Ignorance. Then, too, she was idle ;
nothing to do and nothing to play with,
and failed to give her amusement or en-
ployment, when she appealed TO me- 'Tis
said Satan finds some mischief still for
idle hands to do" There seems to be
several atoms Of truth in this. An infant
as soon as it is able to use its little hands,
is not satisfied unless it has something TO
play with. The child left TO its own re-
sources for employment is very liable to
employ itself in doing mischief.
The young man that is reared in idleness
is more apt to fall into dissipation and vice
than the son of the farmer or mechanic
whose days are filled up with cheerful
health inspiring labor.
find that children require something to
employ themselves with all the time.
When Mary is alone with me, keep her
busy in some way the most of the time.
Either with some trifling employment
that she is able to do, or with some play
thing. Anything that will keep her busy,
and from doing mischief
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
How to Make a Place Prosperous.

There can hardly be greater sign OF
prosperity in a community than a disposi-
ton to help one another, TO lift a little
when a neighbor's wheel gets stuck in the
mud
l knew of place where mans barn,
with all his winter stores of grain and
hay, was consumed in the night. Imme-
diately all the men of the country side
mustered and hauled up timbers for new
barn, and then big raising came off. Af-
ter that the sound of twenty or more ham
mers was heard until the whole was
shingled and sided But their deed of
kindness was not done yet one or two
offered to take a head or two of his stock
and winter them for him, thus greatly re-
ducing his loss, and assuring his heart of
the more durable riches of brotherly love
and neighborly good will. No one can
compute in money the value of one such
example of noble liberality in a commu-
nifty, especially in its influence upon the
young. Where this spirit prevails there
is sure to be progress in "A place even if
all improvements are in their infancy.
People will like to come and settle in
place which bears such a good name.
Now if you desire to see your place
growing, popular one, do what you can to
show yourself a good neighbor, especially
TO those who need little extra help.
If a man starts tin shop or a black
smiths shop in your place, don't harness
up and drive off five miles to buy your
pans and get your horses shod, just be.
cause you have been ia the habit of doing
it, Patronize the newcomer, when you
want anything done in his line. Speak
encouragingly to him, and well of him to
your neighbors. Little words of approval
or censure go long way, and when once
you have spoken them, you cannot call
them back
Help the sick, especially if they are
poor, for poverty and illness are indeed
heavy burden. Perform all acts of loving
charity which fall day by day in your path,
remembering who it is that has said, 'Ye
shall in nowise lose your reward, ,"-COun-
trg Gentleman.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
Curious Mode Of Shufiling Off this
Mortal Coil.

PERSONS have committed suicides in DO
sitions which would have been thought
impossible to produce suffocation. There
are several cases of this kind reported in a
French medical journal A man was dis
covered hanging by his pocket -handker
chief, and suspended from a rope stretched
across granaTy. His legs were found
bent at right angle backward, the knees
hanging at the distance of few inches
only from heap of grain on the floor 1t
would appear that the man, while in the
act OF hanging, must have held his legs
clear OF the ground in this extraordinary
manner.
Another man hung himself from a graf
ing, which was not so high as himself;
when found his legs were stretched out
before him, and his hips were within few
inches of the ground.
A female suspended herself so low that
she was Obliged to stretch out her legs.
one In advance, resting on the heel, and
the other behind her body resting upon
the toes.
There have been cases known in which
death has been produced by the suicide
simply leaning with the neck against a
frightened cord
A still more remarkable case was that of
schoolmaster in the neighborhood of
London, who hung himself in such man
ner from the banister by his cravat that his
body was found resting entirely upon the
stairs. Such cases as these are often open
to medico legal investigation, as muir
der may sometimes be very conveniently
hidden by contrivances of this character.
The suicide of the Duke de Bourbon, in
1880, was supposed, by some of the wit
nesses at the inquest, to be only hidden
assassination. However, the fact of the
suicide was clearly established But men
have been executed on suspicion of having
murdered others, who were afterWard pro-
nounced to have been Yeritable suicides.
Many men who could swim well, have
been known to tie their hands and legs to-
gether before throwing themselves in he
water, lest they should be tempted, in the
dying agony, TO strike out and save them
selves.
A lunatic, some years ago, in st. Luke's
Hospital, drowned herself in the bath
room of that institution, in a most remark
able manner. She managed to secrete the
key of the bathroom, and make up dunn
my to represent herself in bed, in order to
deceive the nurse of the ward. In the
middle of the night she stole downstairs,
and was found, next morning, lying with
her face downward, in the shallow water
of the bath. She must have deliberately
kept herself in the horizontal position in
the most determined manner, TO have ef-
tected her purpose.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03

then 60 into winter-ouartera and IN tho
spring of the coming wear he homes IN rro'
ceed on sledges to the pole. with every ev.
pectation of reaching II in due season
They have had an "Enoch Arden case
out at Oakland, California Enoch went
on and left his wife and children destitute ,
KIND. hearted people took up subscription
ior the support Of the family; and soon
alter the lost wanderer-whose other name
was haiser-r returned, and proposed to as.
sist IN eating up the provender. The
neighDors thereupon served notice upon
nm, reading thus; I'd. Kaiser, we give
you tWenty-four hours to leave town. BY
order of a committee of your creditors. If
not, you will receive coat of tar and
feathers" OF words to 1that effect. Enoch
That is, Kaiser-read the document with
fearful eyes, sadly cast one long, lingering,
farewell look upon the reNlenished pork
barrel, and turned heart broken away. He
Is now moody misanthrope and vindic-
tive bull-whacker on the plains.
The following pleasant story is told by
a pious minister about a monk of former
days. He resolved to leave his monastery
on the ground that he there too frequently
met with causes of provocation, and was
betrayed into anger and other sins. Ac-
cordingly, he retired into the desert, in the
hope that solitude would enable him to
serve God with an easier mind. One day
his pitcher happened to upset and, when
lifted up, fell second time, which kindled
his anger to such pitch that he dashed 1t
to the ground and broke it into thousand
pieces. When he came to himself he
said 81 now see thst l cannot be at
peace even in solitude, and that the fault
lies not in others, but in myself" He
then returned to the monastery, and, after
many strenuous efforts, succeeded in sub
DUNG his passions, not by fight, but by
self denial
A SKATER in Leavenworth, Kansas, is
reported by local paper to have broken
through the ice, the other night, and to
have swan beneath it for twenty yards,
till he came to a shallow place, when he
assumed the perpendicular and burst
through the thin ice with his head This
is likely story, says the Springfield
(Mass,) Republican, but we can beat it all
out. We knew young man in Hunting
ton, twenty miles from this city, who once
asseverated to his friends that, on skat.
ing voyage down the river, he fell through
an air-hole, and struck bottom twenty feet
below, came up safe and hoated down
stream quarter of mile, occasionally
butting his head against the ice to try its
thickness, and finally came out all right at
another air-hole. Now we guess the Leav-
enworth man will knock under.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
Management Of Balk1 Horses

The first and better way Is never TO have
balky horse. If horses are handled pro-
perly they will never balk. After horse
has been fooled" as horsemen very pro-
perly say when good horse balks, Il will
require vast auIount of cautious manage
ment to correct the bad habit. Horses are
taught to balk by stupid and cruel drivers,
who have really less good sense than the
animals they drive. Many strong and ex-
cellent horses are managed so improperly
that they soon become almost incorrigible
bakers where, If driver of ordinary in
telligence had held the reins, the animals
would have always been as true as steel.
If horse is properly managed he will
draw with all his might trot or run as his
driver may indicate, until he drops in his
harness from utter exhaustion.
After q horse. has really contracted the
habit of baking, the vice can be corrected
only by kindness and gentle treatment.
The more he is whipped, kicked, clubbed,
and handled roughly, the more obstinate
he will be- Hence, throw away whips
and clubs, and let gentle treatment bear
rule. Then, beware of overlooking. A
person can coax out of horse service
that whips and kicks can never secure.
Always provide some means to enable
team to start a heavy load easily. Avoid
stopping-if possible-where Il will be
difficult to start. 1t is better to let team
stop for moment, ten times, when haul
ing load up slope, than to allow 1t to
stop in place where 1t will be difficult to
start. The writer was once accustomed
to carry pieces of plank to q field for the
wheels of the wagon to rest upon, while
1t was being loaded with pototoes or corr,
so that the team would move OF rapidly
with heavy load, that they could never
start, if the wheels had been allowed to
sink into the ground while the load was
increasing in weight When a horse balks
on account Of exhaustion, allow the ami
NAL to rest until he has recovered strength
to draw his load. Above all beware of
too heavy loads, of impatience, or rough
ness, and of over driving .-E.bchd1lge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03

In strong; and IL excites such lively
sense of gratitude that nature has provid-
ed something for you sit down on; and
then its so smooth and slippery and If
you don't tear your clothes it's so easy to
get right up and smile, and If you do tear
your clothes the present fashion of over
coats is so much better than short jackets
for adjusting to new relations of that kind !;
and then above all there's an awakening
of a sense of feeling of superiority 20
earth that getting up above the world and
sitting right down on it, that sometimes
we banker after and don't have that on
the whole we are inclined to think the
slippery places are means of grace. We
ought to have more of Hartford
Post
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03

We have assumed 10000 as the proba-
BILE ratio of representation under the new
census a higher would reduce the number
OF electoral votes, as lower would in
crease 1t, but neither would materially af
feet the majority.
Missouri was not carried by the Demo
Gratis in 1870 but by the Schurz aud
Gratz Brown Republicans but we assume
that enough of these will probably go
clear over to put the State against us in n.
We trust they will get sick of their strange
company and come back in season for ~.
Connecticut was carried by the Demo-
Gratis in the April State election of '68, but
went Republican in the ensuing contest,
as she probably will in '72.
Oregon went Democratic in 1870 by a
far smaller majority than at her State cleo
ton of '68; yet, when she came to vote
for President, she gave Seymour but 1914
majority over Grant; while California,
(also Democratic in her preceding State
electiOn) went for Grant by 5l4 majority.
We regard both of them, with Nevada as
very doubtful for 1872.
Virginia, Indiana, and Alabama, were
barely carried Democratic in 40, and may
all be recovered upon the full vote always
cast for President. So may North Caro-
hhoi OopSShtlly ii bl6 DeIlOCTdCy turn
Governor Holden out of office, as they are
quite likely to do.
OF the States we have placed in the Re-
publican column, only Pennsylvania, Flor
ida and Arkansas are at all questionable
Arkansas gave some 1000 Republican
majority on Congress, though we threw
away two or three Representatives in Con-
gress by personal feuds; but the Legisla-
tlIrp IL very atron olv Rapuh1inan pann
sylvania was close on the popular vote last
October, but, if fair allowance is made
for the districts distracted by personal
feuds, there is a Republican majority.
Florida is disputed, but Republican by a
close vote.
We drifted astern much further in 80
than in 70, but more than recovered our
lost ground when we came to Presiden-
tial year, when almost every legal voter
came to the front. We propose to repeat
the dose in 1S72.--Neso YORK Tribune
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
spread the Family Board with Luxurle..

We might cite the authorities by the Dozen to
show that Irish Moss Carrageen rom which the cele-
braed SEA Moss FAMINE made) has long been consd-
cred valuable species of nourshment for the sick
light, digestble antebrie, restorative and ftening.
This is what eminent have said of Irish Moss 10
triS-Only halt purified, and comparatively unconcen-
rated. The new article (Sea Moss Farine)-whlch, by
the magic of science, has suddenly sprung pure and per-
eced from old marix like Minerva from the head of
JOVe-taes far wider range. To us IL is TO reduce the
expense of living to spread the family board with uxu
costing less than common fare, and largely 10 increase
1t Is quickly prepared en minutes sufcing TO produce
custaid or pUidlng), and think who has once
become acquainted with Its properties will be likely
ever abandon it as an article of diet.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03

YOUNG PILoT-This beautiful new
monthly has, in three short months, taken high
rank among magazines. The February number
contains the continuation OF an excellent serial,
by Wm. Everett; a brilliant paper on Books and
Reading, by Robt. Laird Collier; an exquisite
poem, by Edgar Fawcett; Picked Up Dinners, No,
1, by Willy Wisp and a half-dozen more articles Of
decided merit, all combining to make an admira-
BILE number. Young people in their teens will find
this magazine exceedingly readable Only 81 per
annum. Send stamp for specimen. YOUNG PILoT
Pm Co Chicago.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03
PRUssINe's White Wine Vinegar is most
superb article for table use. Warranted pure.

In numbers there IL safety, II was unon thie
principle that the formula OF JUDsor'e MouNTAp
HERB PnIs was prepared DR.. Judson, Intending
ted his recipe to the revision OF the most intelii
gent and learned physicians Of the age and the
results a simple but most eflcaoious medicine
the JuDsoN's MOUNTAIN HERE Pulls. They purify
the blood, remove all distinctions, cleanse the
skin OF all pimples and blotches and are perfectly
sure and safe in their operation. The JuDsoN's
MOUNTAIN HERB PILLS cure Biliouenees, Female
lrregularities, Headache, and many others Of the
diseases arising from impure blood and deranged
digestion. Use the JUDsoN's MOUNTAIN HKRn
Pills, and when you have proved their virtue
recommend them TO your friends. They are both
sugar-cOated and plain. For sale everYwhere.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-02-03

--One of, the old keepers of the Palace
of Versailles was caught the other day in
the act of carrying keg of powder to a
room right under the apartment of Count
Bismark He frankly acknowledged that
he had intended to kill Count Bismark
that night, but refused to name any ac-
completes. 1t is believed that there exists
great conspiracy for the purpose of as
sassinating the Chancellor.