The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1871-12-15

Transported for ife-the man who
marries happily.
A new hired girl, asked if she had
ever had any experience as a wet
nurse, said she hadn't, but that she
could soon learn.
you'll grow up ugly, if you make
faces" 'Did you make faces, when
you was a girl, aunty.
Ocean that p-p-pup parrot tier
talk?" asked suffering man of an
Italian. Suppose he no can talk
so much better as that what YOU
talk, l chop he head of" was the
reply.
"Tm afraid Pm sitting on your
crinoline, ma'am. 80, never mind,
its of no consequence; you can't
hurt it."-"No, nam, its not that;
but the confounded thing hurts me"
Aunt Susan says: Suppose all the
men were in one country, and all the
women in another, with a big river
between them. Coed gracious!
what lots of girls would be drowned"
The poet Rogers once observed to
a lady, chow desirable it is, in any
danger, to have presence of mindF'
"Yes," she quickly replied, "but
would rather have absence of bodV."
A young miss, in recitation in
geography, informed her astOnished
teacher that ''the mammoth cavern,
in Kentucky, is the greatest living
curiosity, and has been exploded ten
miles from its mouth"
There was once an independent old
lady who, speaking Of Adams nam
ing all the animals, said she didn't
think he deserved any credit for
the spig-any one would
know what to call him.
A quaint old gentleman, of an ac-
tive, stirring disposition, had a man
at work in his garden who was quite
the reverse. HJones," said he, "did
you ever see "a snai?'' Certainly
said Jones. "Then," said the old
boy, ''you must have met him, for
you never could oyertake him"
''Waiter, III take my hat" said
a gentleman at a party one evening
as he was about going home. "What
kind of hat did you Wear?" "a bran
new hat; that I paid ten dollars for
this morning." swell, sir" said the
waiter, "all the good hats have been
gone more than two hours"
A windy orator in our Legislature,
after lengthy effort, stopped for a
drink of water. 81 RISE" said Bloss,
''to a point of order" Everybody
stared, wondering what the point Of
order was. 'What is itP' asked the
speaker. 81 think, sir" said Bloss,
lit is out of order for windmill to
go by water!"
A music teacher once wrote that
the "art of playing the violin re-
1uires the incest perception and the
most sense of any art in the known
world" WhereupOn a Western edi-
tor comments thus: "The art Of
publishing a newspaper and making
it pay, and at the same time please
everybody, beats fddlin' higher
than kite"
General Read, American Consul
General at Paris, has come into pos
session of a breastpin once worn by
Washington, given by him
10 General jackson, by General
Jackson to King Joseph Bonaparte,
BY Joseph Bonaparti to Compte
Stanislaus de Girardin, by the
Compile To his son, who sent it to
General Read as a souvenir of the
seige of Paris.
While the Japanese are so busily
engaged just now in adopting "Yan-
kee notion" Including greenbacks
and fractional currency-We might
with profit adopt some of their Gus
IONS. As, tor instance, in Japan
5he ferrymen are held responsible
for the safety of their passengers,
and if one Of these is drowned the
is in duty bound to either
drown with him or commit harikari
On the instant. If he does neither,
The government very considerably
relieves him of his head.