Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-11-30
RATEs oF oFADYERTIsING.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Write to Congressman and YOU are
sure of frank reply. -

eI tAsSec . Sohk iesshan and you are
sure of frank reply. -
Liberal advertisers are the men who
mean BUSINESS Those who don,t A.
yertise only do = mean business. =
They have Jewell for Governor in
: connectiouG, but fortunately he is not in
ring, as in New York;
What is It that has three feet and cam
not WALK, sixteen nails and cannot
seratch?, A yard stick. IS 0 - : -
To lawyer-Can you make a blind
man liable for his bill, If it is payable
at sight? - - '''o40
,Paradoxical-In surgery the lancet is
always applied in vein. -
i What isIthe best name for a (n)ice
BELIEF Why, it's Kate. l1AlN
Always behind hand-The wrist.
The young lady who was beginning
TO pine is now oak. .--
OF course Miss Aleotts Morning
Glorlesp are very different from her
Little Women;' because morning glor-
les occasionally shut up.
A moderE thinker SAYS that many
people will be astoLished, when they
get TO heaven, to find the angels laying
no schemes to bs-made arch-angels,
Give a man brains aud riches, and he
10 King. Gise a man brains without
riches, and ne is n sla, e, Give a man
riches without brains. he is fool.
A coiored preacher, in discoursing to
his people on the efficacy of earnest
prayer, delivered himself In this man
ner: Il tell you, bredren, tits prayer
what gibs de debil de lockiaw." -9E4
A couple of fellows who were .prettv
thoroughly soaked with bad whisky got
into tue gutter.-After- houndering for
some time, one OF them said: Let's go
to another house, this hotel leaks" ra
n The Norwich Bulletin thinks that the
chief advantage of roasting ehestnuts is
the rich and gamy flavor it gives the
worm. ~ ~ - % ~ OK ,zi..t.-
An Oswego brakesman went to sleep
IN church. and electrified the deacon
who took up the collection by remark
ing drowsily: THAT'S all right; work
on this road
- The music master who beat time is
going to run his shadow. sfll - a3af
Is.a man bound to say grace after
meat when he has only had a fish din
ner. .,s,,..4-. --f..,,-
Men slip on water when it is frozen,
and on whisky when it isn't. ~.
= A woman 's-rights woman says the
only decent thing about Adam was a
rib, and that that went TO make some
thing better. 7il
What is the difference between a
farmer and bottle of whisky? One
husbands the corn, and the other corns
the husbands. III ia -lt
1nquisitiye people are the tunnels of
conversation; they do not take any
thing for their own use, but merely to
pass into another. OF a3- iisast-
2 SOMETHING GLIKE:-LOuis Napoleon's
embracing the Countess Theba as his
wife, was decidedly rather Spanish
affair. .oildssa5I 'o Fl Gii ~g
Z 1t Is the most beautiful and humane
thing in the world, 50 to mingle gravity
and, pleasure that the one may notsink
into melancholy, nor the other rise up
into wantonness.-[ Ptiny.
Little faults become great, and even
in our eyes, in proportion as
the pure light of God Increases in us;
just as the sun, in rising, reveals the
true dimensions of objects which were
dimly and confusedly discerned during
the night sxez-s. ss.,g ID. sssi a,.E
HSinee it is more important how we
live than how we die, and since death
is merely the arrival at the end of
journey-the beginning, progress and
history of the Journey determining
what the arrival isstD be-we. shall do
well to dismiss oar borrowed trouble
with regard, to the manner of our de-
parture out of the world, and be solicit
tous only with regard to the right dis
charge Of present duty. t7t,la3 ISL