Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-07-23
FUN AND FANCY.

VerDlally aDsent-mlnded, and the
reason is obvious-they, are Otter
raped up in their profession.
What is the difference between
half a glass of water and broken
engagement? The one is not fued
.fdl, and the other is not fuyflled
! "A Philadelphia editor struck
his shears into his eyes, the other
day, while selecting copy. The pa
per was forced to publish some
original matter. .IoTlT UT0
"A little boy, upon whom his
mother was inflicting personal chas-
tisement, said: "Give me two or
three licks more, mother; 1 don't
think l can behave well yet"
SCIENCE Gossrp. rp.-Speaking of edi-
BILE birds nests, it was the remark
of an acute and far-seeing natural
ist, that the swallow makes them,
and the Chinese swallow them.
"A brick fell from a scaffold, yes
terday, on the head of passing
negro. Filing dem ere peanut
shells anoder way up dere. won't
yery" was the darkeys advice, as he
scratched his wool.
A female lecture said: "Get mar
ried, young men, and be quick about
it. Don't wait for the millennium,
for the girls to become angels.
You'd look well beside an angel,
wouldn't you, you blockheadss"
An old Scotch lady was told
that her minister used notes. She
disbelieved it. Said one, "Go into
the gallery and see." She did so,
and saw the written sermon. After
the luckless preacher had conclud-
ed his reading on the last page, he
said, '.But will not enlarge" The
old lady cried out from her lofty
position, ''Ye Gamma, ye Gamma, for
your papers give oot!'
A gentleman who has lived for
many years in sight Of the ocean,
says it is an undeniable fact that
the vicinity of the G makes a billy
location chilly.
II do not say that religion
should end when mystery begins;
but 1 do not say that dogmatism
should end when mystery begins.
"A citizen of Connecticut, being
unexpectedly called upon to address
Sunday-school, rose to his feet in
some confusion, and after several
desperate but vain efforts to say
something appropriate, hoarsely
murmured, Dear children, never
fool with powder"
Il never could bear children,
"said crusty old maid to Mrs.
Partington. Perhaps ifyou could,
you would like them better, mildly
replied the old lady.
A merchant, not over conversant
with geography, on hearing that
one of his vessels was in jeopardy,
exclaimed: Jeopardy, Jeopardy,
where's that? At any rate I'm
glad the ships got into any port"
Cathedral Perquisites.-Verger:
"Marm, 1 makes no demand. The
authorities only allow me four shill-
ings a year and pair OF boots. In
course the giving me anything is
entirely hoptionai, but I hopes as
how" ETC.,
An. exchange says there is no |
danger of there ever being a large
supply of female type-setters in the
market. As soon as a girl becomes
a proficient and valuable COM
positor, some male printer marries
her, and that puts an end to her
work in the printing-ofiice.
WANT OF TACT. Remarking to q |
fat man, "Alay your shadow never
be less!" Saying to a friend, whose
nasal organ is not conspicuous for
beauty, that something is as plain |
as the nose on his face. Asking a |
deaf man, whether he hears good
accounts of his son.
Thee boy whose mother had
promised him present, was saying |
his prayers preparatory to going to
bed, but his mind running on
horse, began as follows: "Our