Wilmington journal., 1871-04-21
MARX TH"ain's First Experience az an
Editor

Editor.
L Was very smart child at the age of
thlrteen-an unusually smart child, 1
| thought at the time. It was then that L
ala my hrst newspaper s7ribbling, and
most unexpectedly to me, it stirred ND o.
hne sensation In the community. It did
indeed, and was very proud of it, too.
| was printers ''devil," and pro-
gressive aud aspiring one My uncle had
me on his paper (the Weekly Hannibal
Journal-$2 year, IN advance-5OO sub
scrlbers, and they paid in cord-wood, cab
| bage, and unmarketable turuips), and on
lncky summers day he left town to be
gone week, and asked me if thought L
could edit one issue of the paper Judi
ciously. All, didn't I want to try Hin
ton was the editor of the rival paper. He
had lately been Tilted, and one night a
friend found an open note on the poor
fellows bed, in which he stated that he
could no longer endure life, and had
drowned himself in Bear Creek. The
friend ran down there, and discovered
Hinton wading back 10 shore He had
concluded he wouldn't. The village was
full OF 1t for several days, but Hinton did
not suspect it, thought this was fine
opportunity. l wrote an elaborately-
wretched account of the whole matter
and then illustrated it with vilIainous cuts
engraved on the bottoms of wooden type
with jack knife, one OF them picture of
Hinton wadipg out into the creek in his
shirt, with lantern, sounding the depth Of
the water with a walkipg-stick. Thought it
was desperately funny, and was densely
UNCONSCIOUS that there was any moral OBJ
liquity about such Il publication. Being
satisfied with the effort, 1 looked around
for other worlds TO conquer, and it struck
me that it would make good, interesting
matter to charge the editor of neighbor-
ing country paper with piece of gratui-
tOus rascality and "see him sqirm ~ | did
it, putting the article into the form of q
parody on the burial of Sir John Moore
and q pretty crude parody it was. too.
Then L lampooned two prominent citizens
0geousiy-nOt because they had done
anything to deserve it, but merely because I
thought it my duty to make the paper
lively. Next l gently touched up the
newest stranger-the lion of the day. the
gorgeous j0urneyman tailor from Quincy
he was slmperiDg coxcOmb of thC first
water, eand the ''loudest"- dressed man in
the State. He was an inverterate woman
killer. Every week he wrote lusty "poet-
ry' to the Journal about his newest con-
quest. His rhymes for my week were head
ed ITO Mary in H." meaning to
Mary in Hannibal, of course. But when
setting up the piece [ was suddenly riyeu
from bead to heel by what regarded as a
perfect thunderbolt OF humor, and l COM
pressed 1t into a snappy foot-note at the
bottom thus I'VE will let this thing
pass, just this one but we wish Mr.. J.
Gordon Runnels to understand that we
have character to sustain, and from this
time FORTH when he wants to commune
with his friends ln HI he must select
some other medium than the columns of
this journal -
The paper came out, and never knew
any little thing to attract so much atten-
ton as those playful triies of mine. For
once the Hannibal Journal was in demand
"A novelty it had not experienced before.
The whole town was stirred. Hinton
dropped in with double-barreled shot
gun early in the forenoon. When he
found that it was an infant las he called
meg that had done him the damage, he
simply pulled my ears and went away but
he threw up his situation that night and
left town for good. The tailor came with
his goose and pair of shears but he de-
spised me, too. and departed for the South
that night. The two lampooned citizens
came with threats of libel, and went away
incensed at my insignifcance. The coun-
try editor prarced in with war whoop
next day, suffering for blood to drink, but
ended by forgiving me cordially and in
VitiDg me down to the drug store 20 wash
away ell animosity in a friendly bumper of
"Fahnestock's Vermifage." It was his
little joke.
My uncle was very angry when he got
back, unreasonably SO, L thought, con
sidering what an impetus had given the
paper, and considering, also, that graft
tude for his preservation ooght to have
been uppermost in his mind, inasmuch as
by his delay he had so. wonderfully escaped
dissection, tomahawking, libel, and getting
his head shot off. But he softened when
he looked at the accounts and saw that L
actually booked the unparalleled number
of thirty-three new subscribers, and had
the vegetables to show for it-cord wood.
cabbage, beans, and unstable turnips
enough TO run the family for two years.