The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-08-20
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.
WIT AND WISDOM.

"A |
A sovereign bet-.Queen Elizabeth.
A comfortable seat-The lap of luxury.
"Things not generally known Poor
people.
when was Luther like the birdsf When
he had diet of Wurms.
Are tests more than ten years esd pro-
perry denominated Z" decade jokes"
why is a dilapidated shoe like ancient
Greecef Because it once had Solon'
The sailor who knew for . fact that there
was man in the moon, had been 10 sea-
Some lawyers can't sleep. They he on
one side and turn over and lie on tile other. |
II ia said that the French girls are 30
patriotic that they refuse to dance tne
"German." i
A nice Young poet talks about "animated
fragments of shattered rainbows." nc
means ladies. i
We talk about the spice of life, ana YET
own, o DEATH" -
When is q locomotive like child
When it requires the "switch" to take It
off the wrong track. .ai-,r. lt
IA man named Tease has married q Miss
Cross, He leased her until she agreed not
to be cross any more. af.d 4s
/. HMy dear, rremarks Punch, sis an e1-
precision used by q man and wife at the be-
ginning of auarfea." 'H'0' r. ,.i..
swedish brandy is favored with red ants,
but q fellow who knows says ne has an
aunt favored with brandy. f91
"Pa, what can do unless you get me !. a
riding habit, up here in the country T.
"Get into the habit Of walking, my dear"
Don't let your cattle stray they often
wander to the most mysterious places we
once saw cowhide in shoemaker's shop.
Slander-A big dog that goes unclaimed
and snaps at everybody better than him
self. This applies also to the feminine
gender.
The young ladies in New Haven are
learning to play the violin. Inc loea o u
having four strings to their beaux is fascl-
mating.
Ye who are eating the apple dumPhngs
and molasses of wealth, should not forget
those who are sucking the herring bones OF
poverty. -
The fellow who called tight boots COM
Portable, defended his position by saying
they made q man forget all Ills othef
miseries.
AWestern editor, in response to a SUB
scriber who grumbles that his paper was
intolerably damp, says that it ia because
there is 80 much due on it,
Scott makes Johnny Girder express the
system of human charity in one sentence
HIf there is anything totally UNBEATABLE, let
it be given to the puir folks"
"Haven't 1 right to be sancy II
pleasef" asked a young lady OF an oic
bachelor. Yes, if you please, but not
you displease," was the reply.
bankers clerk was heard some nights
ago to remark that the Home Rulers is {
capital piece of business, because theii
principle is creating great Interest,".
Awoman suffrage lecturer in Iowa calls
upon all women who want to become voter
to forget there is such q thing as modesty
Put it off," she says, land become i'k'
men," s .I
The Earl of Shaftesbury used to say tina
all men of sense were OF one reiigion.
"And what religion is that Z" asked iady
uThat men of sense never tell, replied
the Earl.
"What did you step on my dress fort
asked an irate wife of her HUSBAND
should think you might see." You forge,
NV dear.n answered the meek husband
that love is blind"
To the door of parish church near l
was recently affixed the following notlce
"The churchwardens will hold their qual
terly meeting every six weeks, instead
half-yearly, as formerly.
A census-taker out West reports elgl
thousand colonies in his district. Ihel
used to be more in that part of the country
he saws, "but q large number OF them nav
been raised to generals"
A farmer in the Heighborhood Of Donca
ter was thus accosted by his iand lsne
"John, 1 am going to raise your rent
John replied: " Sir, 1 am very much o.
liged to you, for cannot. raise it myself
A thick-beaded squire, being worsted
Sidney Smith in an argument, took l., ms y, +
an IDIOT, by Jove, I'd make him parson
every probable,n said Sydney a;f put
see that your father was OF ainere
mind"
iurv in North Carolina, after bell
charged in the usual way by the 1ndge,
tired to their room. when q Waite } e
. ventured to ask a colored associate .s ~
understood the charge of the judge. "Gs
w. exclaimed the astonished juror, = :
dou,tcharge us muffin for dat, does n
> why. thought we was gwine to s't pa!
The following correspondence is said
have taken place between a merchant a
: one of his customers: ",sir, your accor
has been standing for two years /; m
have it settled immediately. A 5;ns
tTt;.,s do usuallv settle by standing