Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1871-03-31
Legislation on the Hen RoOst.

EDITOR GAZETTE:-
You are aware no doubt that the
Hen Roosts have suffered heavily by
robbery, in our vicinity Of late, and
this is the reason you have had no
report from the Orcutt hen, and my
Persuader has not been brought into
use. have II new agent in the field,
Mr.. Juhnathan Spike, of Spikeville,
Mo. / have consulted Mr.. Henry
Bergh, the friend to the ben as well
as all other animals, for IA statutary
law for the protection from cruelty
to inferior animals, and particularly
the robbing of Hen Roosts. | have
sent Mr.. Spike TO the Legislature of
Minnesota TO see what can be done
for humanity and the roosts. The
Third House of the Legislature of
Minnesota is now setting in Worth
county, near the State liue. We clip
from the None Such Age, the follow.
ing speech, On the Protection of Hen
Roosts, Ivy AIR. SFike:
Mister I've sot here
and listened to Tom Homes pusil!an-
imOus attempts To git you to vote
again this bill for the protection OF
hen r0osts till he's completely riZ up
the ridorigerous sensibilities of my
intellectual capacities! But, Mr..
President, what care /? His highs
toned urgifyin' hangs to the eend of
my sheert flap like bunce of bur.
ducks To a jockasses tail! q hearken
to him no longer, most high an
mighty hoss, for he's gone-hushcd
up, jumped into the depts of unlim-
tied space; or, in the tetotacious lam
guage of Shakespeer, when 'er lick
in the "Div-kerslash -
into the briny ocean !"
The mud ecls an cat fish
On his boldly will riot,
An HOLSTERS an Hu fish
Select him for diut.
Mister President :~-I'm a blazin'
with the smoke OF vengence again
Tom Hone, aud to show yOu that
sumthin' must he done for the pro.
lection Of hen rOosts,
II shall tail unfold whose litcst werds
VIII harrer your soul up--frceze yer blood;
Make yer two eyes like stars start outer their
An yer combined locks to stan on eend,
Like quilts on the dreadful porkypine."
Mister President -Hark, The
mite Is dark an fearful, an the tom
eats make it more so by their awful
yells. The thunders rumble through
the cOrduge, an fierce litenin's split
the sky. There-close by Uncle Eb-
enezer's barn-is the peaceful an
happy heu.house. Inside, quietly
reposin' on their majestical rOOsts,
are the virtuOus and lamb like hens,
the infantile chickens, an the aged
rooster, wot kin lick anything in the
bird line that carrys legs. Their
thoughts are sweet as u sap yoke, an
happy as a gal brider. But lass -
"A change comes DER the spirit OF my dream"
Methinks / see a wretch enter that
joyous and happy wigmam, an with
uniiincliin' hand tare from their
peaceful abode these innocent hens.
an slams 'em in bag noiwithstand-
ing thar suppllcations for mercy,
thar pleadin's for their life.
Mister President Il are sea sick at
the atrority of sich scene, an l
turn from it like | wood from n
skunk. You may sarch all over cre-
alton, from the toppermost peaks of
the Alleganys down inter the inner~
most depths of the Dead Sea, and
you couldn't find another sich bar.
berous savage.
Mister President I'll believe the
procrastinated delirium of this des-
tiflated republic il centred on the
passln' of this bill. If it Is passed,
yer eyes will be semi.circled with
diadems of glory. If IL amt the
turkey buzzards of remorse will gal
lop threw yer dreams, and ten legged
ROSTERS will perch OH yer bedsteads
an crow
Peace l. Peace There II no peace! :"
Mister President I'll IN dun. Give
us a chaw tObacker.
Can't you send a delegation to help
Spike out. EATHEN HANDY.