The New York herald., 1871-09-16
FAT, FUN AND CLAIMS.
History Of the Heavy Mems Ladies' Bake-The
Philosophy Of Fat-The Enthusl-
asm Of Eating.

4 aSm VI 1.aliuS'
In this age OF curious combinations, when Com
lmunism has not only q theoretical school, but an
actual army OF muscular votares; when all sorts OF
Interests are discovered to be mutual which In
FORMER days were only looked upon as Individual.
no wonder that the obesity and corpulency OF New
York should band itself together as something TO be
proud OF. They have discovered depth OF pniioso-
ply in the saying "Laugh and grow rat" which
Ithe world before them never dreamed Of. The fat
man thew take to be, IN an un.Hugo sense "the
man who laughs and, in proportion to his fatness,
70 he The man with more
LAUGHING CAPACITY"
than anybody else. Following this up to its logical
conclusion they argue that this laughter being always
rat producer they Will grow fatter and fatter, unti
lin the end they shall individually and collectively
Iembody pure prnciples-f e., laughter and fat.
This apotheosis OF huge laughing globe OF fat Is
their fondest vision Its attainment their nlgnest
hope. The look with which 250-pounder gazes
upon 84Npounder would called envy were 1t
not that all such lean, engendering passions are ut
terly against the rules. But, oh, the laugh OF oily
delight which expands and glows upon the 340-
pounder Not alone does 1t pucker up the mammoth
mouth and roll in
WAVE OF HILARIOUS FAT
lover the unctuous cheeks; it closes up the fatem
powered eyes till their twinkle is lost to the outer
World, and purs oul The double chin like balloon
aib IN O fresh wind; 1t shakes the hugh levathan
ribs with an earthquake neave which Is communi-
cated to the region OF the waistcoat in series of
Rolling Shocks and expires only IN bis boots. His
feet are his only troube they alone will not fatten,
And are the greatest obstacle the fat man finds to
Intervene between him and the perfectly spherical
state. But take him for all in all he is the hugest
personlhcation OF proud flesh the world has seen.
Fat formerly something 10 be dreaded. is his
hobby Jack FalstaT is his poetic ideal hero, and
English Daniel Lambert
( A SAINT OF HIS CHURCH,
pf which rotund old Bacchus Is the god, he being
the nearest approach 10 deincation OF fat. Fal-
stars great standby sack Lambert's was beer;
khe fat man OF to-day believes IN clans ond fresh
hir.
( Small miracle 1t was then that the 'Unfted Asso.
lciation of Heavy Men Of the State OF New York"
had for weeks past been outstanding their broadest
Smiles for Rhode Island cambake, which took
blace on Monday last at that delicious
kpot on the Hudson, near to the
Eiy and 30 removed from its care-en.
woven influences-Pleasant Valley The very name
bad seductive charm for the glowing pheroids
They 70 devote whole day to the fat butldin ng
lnn1ences OF CLANS and fun, and their preparations
therefor were on scale OF magnitude In proportion
10 the enormous vacultes to be gorged to repletion
WHO does not know the composition Of Rhode
psland clambakeS But who ever pictured such q
mountain Of blvalves as were towed to the foot Of
ne pier at Pleasant Valley on Monday morning
WAS towed down the Sound by six steam tugs the
people all turned out, believing it to be another
( CAISSON FOR THE EAST RIVER BRIDGE.
When II slowly swung round the Battery the truth
began TO dawn on them. A lot containing two
e the buxom ' WIDOW W Meyers ley rustic s hotel p'Ud ed
pr green corn was reaped on Monday, and whole
krocer's shop was emptied OF spices. The CLANS
tegion OF oily niggers commenced the ope! alton Of
THESE WERE FOR THE cHowpER.
E. Three colossal caldrons were gaping TO receive
fhe sheed fish, and by eleven O'Clock the people Of
the neighborhood had early dinner off the savory
bmell. Attention was now turned to the bake, and
py noon all was In readiness to commence
oar this he 1S let Us
into this days festivities tney had resolved 10 infnse
kn aesthetic element and so they headed their inv.
ehey had devoured, chowders they had gulped, gam
boiled like agile elephants among themselves they
pad upon the green sward In tie ecstasy OF waist
Eoatsful OF CLANS, but the
{ CHARM OF woMAN's SOCIETY
bad been wanting. They would atone for II, not In
borrow, but in joy Hence some hundred ana nfty
Invitations to the fair seX.
Ins reashd p mt, aey Is pretty san steamer ns ana ona
hundred members Of the Association stepped on her
beck at pier 4a North River The veteran captain
puperntended the slowing OF this unusually heavy
Freight by only letting them on one at u time, aud
then balancing the ship by placing them alternately
knd were placed SO as to fill up the irregularities
knd make The ballasting perfect. For instance, a
Soo-poundcr and $40 pounder were balanced by Two
f5O-pounders and l4.pound lady. At half-past
len the captain shipped the gang plank-his vessel
with full head OF steam he started, ordering all to
keep their places. The slightest displacement, he
laid, might lead TO shipwreck; but the fat men had
Jolly souls that they could never sink. Keeping the
possibility OF losing the clambake in view, they
hl,nun thn nQnf ntN
ture Them under spacious marquee, with
FIVE LONG, STOUT TABLES
spread with snowy linen and all the implements OF
eating warlare-knives, forks and plates-with such
Accomplishments as bread, butter, cruet staLds and
snowder from afar and although in the cheerfulness
pi ther hearts, they mad each eaten sturdy break
but an aeGr ana nan o. every
Quarts of the aromatic vand-noating liquid.
The LADIES PARTooK sPARINGLY
et nrst, because they were not yet aware that the
awning over their heads covered the representatives
pr a new system OF eating ethics. AS
ehey went on they im proved. Alter the three CAL
arons mad been ladled out until their glorious con.
Cavities contained no more chowder the company
proceeded to gambol in the woods like the nymphs
hnd iauns OF q new dispensailon. At three O'Clock
Ehe Pleasant Valley again arrived at the wharf,
floating number or distinguished guests, among
shcm Judge Graham, OF South Carolina, six feet
four inches tall and 294 pounds avoirdupols.
ANXIOUS eyes were cast upon the two-acre lot
where the mOnstrous clam0ake was
swELTERING INTO A BLIssFUL STATE
pf cookedness and, despite the fascinatons OF
gazing with smile OF longing over the stone wall
which enclosed the frzzling clans OF their gzzards
ippetes If any thing SO constant in its demand can
nave increase OF desire In the interval which
elapsed before the bake was ready the HERALD
porter specially chosen for this occasion on account
bl his promise OF neshlness) induced the lgnest
heavy man present-Dr. NJ. A. FiDnell, 800 pounds
10 converse on the aims OF the society.
FROM THIS SKELETON
be learned the startling fact That even among Jolly
lat men differences and neartburnings could arise.
rhs was made plain In the fact that the society OF
which he was secretary was really a "seceshn party
rom the original lat men who formed the parent or
yanization.
"Oh, sir, 1t has weighed upon my spirits until
Inn shrunK TO the shadow you now see before you.
The other members were too much devoted to fat
and fun take any trouble In the matter, and like
tie scaDegoat In the wilderness, am carrying their
sns In my wasting frame. In yon clambake lies
ny only chance.n
with this painful speech he laughed few oily
rars down his cheeks shortly after a sound like
'buttered thunder arose from the fatted windpipes
d the throng.