Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-06-01
FUN AND FANCY,


room, two amateurs obstinately dis
puted the possession of a beautiful
picture, by celebrated painter;
Each made bidding against the
other. The picture represented an
ass. At last one of the gentlemen
said, at is of no use; I will not
yield. This picture once belonged
to my uncle, and I will give anything
for it." SIN that case" said his ad-
versary, II will not go on. You
shall have it. as it is a family pic
ture.
A LAWYER attempting to quiz a
clergyman asked, 'Pray, sir, what
do you do, when you happen to
make mistake in the pulpit?" eff
1 make a large mistake 1 correct it;
if small one, I let it pass. For in
stance, the other morning I meant
to say the devil is the father of liars,
but instead said he is the father
of lawyers, and the difference was so
trifing I let it 60"
A LECTURER who discoursed on
mind and Matter" threatened to
sue an editor for libel, whose types
had accidentally made him call it
lecture on wind and Water" The
editor fastened to make correction
saving that no doubt the lecturer
would succeed in his action, on the
ground that the greater the truth
the greater the libel.
A GARDENER in Albany recently
stated that he had made $4,000 by
selling lettuce off of a two-acre lot,
whereupon several venturesome AL
banians resolved to go into the let
tuce business; but when they learn
ed that the gardener had been fif-
teen years in making his $4,000,
they abandoned the scheme in dis
gust.
A CouNrRYMAN stopped on Broad
way, in front of the Telegraph Office,
the other day, bent his head in a
listening attitude for some time,
and then muttered, ''That must be
a darned big clock store, for such a
ticking as is goin' on in there l
never heerd."
Acknowledgement DAVIDSON re-
ports the presence of a dangerous
gang of horse-thieves in Texas, one
of whom pretends to be clergy
man, and breaches every Sunday
somewhere, while his confederates
make off withStb horses of his lis
teners. ~
A SAILOR, whose sweetheart had
a very handsome set of teeth, at
tempted to kiss her, but she eluded
him, and gave him box on the ear.
Just my luck" said the good
natured sailor: ''Tm always getting
wrecked on the coral reefs!'
Mr.. HYDE having married Miss
Taller at Honolulu, and the ''iatted
calf having been killed in their
honor, it gave Sandwich-island
editor chance to say that 1T was
not the first time cattle had been
killed for the Hyde and Taller"
"You must not play in the street
with the boys now, my dear you
are seven years DID," said an old
lady to her little grandchild. But,
grandma" was the innocent reply,
'the older 1 grow the better like
the boys"
PEOPLE often speak of quota
ion within quotation" as thought
were something unusual but we
should like to know how there
could possibly be quotation with
out a quotation.
| A DOoR-KEEPER in Lawrence,
Kansas, has been laughed out of
the place, because he allowed some
one to pass off a fne-tooth comb on
him, one evening, as q ticket.
A WITNESS in a SANDER suit in In
diana having his character ques-
toned, settled all doubts by pro-
ducing his honorable discharge
from the State prison.
TLLgive that girl piece of my
mind" exclaimed certain young
fellow. Il would not" replied his
uncle you've none to spare"