The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-06-15
BETsEY AND 1 ARE OUT.
BY WILL NJ. CARLETON.

"What is the matter Z" say you. l swan, it's
hard to tell
Most of the years behind us we've passed by
very well;
1 have no other woman, she has no other
Only we've lived together as long as we ever
can.
So 1 have talked with Betsey, and Betsey has
talked with me,
And so we've agreed together that we can't
never agree;
Not that we've catched each other in any ter
rible crime;
We've been a-gathering this for years, a little
at time.
There was stock of temper we both had for
start,
Although we never suspected 'twould take us
two apart;
l had my various failings, bred in the flesh and
bone;
And Betsey, like all good women, had a tenn
per of her own.
The first thing remember whereon we disa-
greed
Was something concerning heaven-a differ
ence in our creed;
We arg'ed the thing at breakfast, we arg'ed
the thing at tea,
And the more we arg'ed the question the more
we didn't agree.
And the next that remember was when we
lost COW;
She had kicked the bucket for certain, the
question was only-Howy
held my own opinion, and Betsey another
had;
And when we were done a-talkin, we both of
us were mad.
And the next that l remember, it started in a
But full for week it lasted, and neither of us
spoke.
And the next was when 1 scolded because she
broke BOWL
And she said was mean and stingy, and had
MT any soul.
And so that bowl kept pourin' dissensions in
And SO that blamed cow.critter was always
a-comin' up;
And so that heaven we arg'ed no nearer to us
got,
But it gave us taste of somethin' thousand
times as hot
And so the thing kept workin' and all the self
Always somethin' to arg'e, and somethin'
And down on us came the neighbors, couple
dozen strong,
And lent their kindest sarvice for to help the
thing along.
And there has been days together-and many
weary week
We was both of us cross and spunky, and both
too proud to speak;
And l have been thinkin' and thinkin', the
whole of the winter and fall,
III L can't live kind with woman, why, then,
won't at all.
And SO have talked with Betsey, and Betscy
has talked with me,
And we have agreed together that we can't
never agree;
And what is hers shall be hers, and what is
mine shall be mine;
And I'll put it in the agreement, and take it to
her to sign.
Write on the paper, lawycr-the very first par
agraph-
OF all the farm and livestock that she shall
have her half;
For she has helped to earn it, through many
weary day,
And it's nothin' more than justice that Betsey
has her pay.
thrive and roam;
But women are skeery critters, unless they
have home;
And have always dcte rmined, and never
failed to say,
That Betsey never should want home if 1 was
taken away.
There is little hard money that's drawin'
tol'rable pay:
A couple of hundred dollars laid by for a
rainy day;
Safe in the hands of good men, and easy to get
at;
Put in another clause there, and give her half
of that.
Yes, l see ,you smile, sir, at my givin' her so
much;
Yes, divorce is cheap, sir, but take no stock
in suchi
True and fair married her, when she was
blithe and young;
And Betsey was apays good to me, exceptin'
with her tongue.
Once, when l was young as you, and not SO
smart, perhaps,
For me she mittened a lawyer, and several
other chaps;
And all of them was flustered, and fairly taken
down,
4huu 1 ioi u tiiAC was COuulCu luC
in town.
Once when l had fever-I won't forget it
soon
was hot as a basted turkey and crazy as a
loon;
Never an hour went by me when she was out
of sight.
She nursed me true and tender, and stuck to
lne day and night.
And II ever house was tidy, and ever a
Her house and kitchen was tidy as any ever
seen,
And don't complain of Betsey, or any of her
acts,
Exceptin' when we've quarreled, and told each
other facts.
So draw up the paper, lawyer, and I'll go
home tonight,
And read the agreement TO her, and see If il's
all right;
And then, in the morniD', III sell to tradin'
man know,
And kiss the child that was left to us, and out
in the world I'll go.
And one thing put in the paper, that first to
me didn't occur;
That when am dead at last she'll bring me
back to her;
And lay me under the naples planted years
ago,
When she and was happy before we guar
relied so.