Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-06-08
FUN AND FANCY.

one on"The Throbbing Brain" and
the other on "a Beating Heart"
We will wait Intil we receive one
on the Stomach Ache" and pub
lish all three together.
Daniel Drew, being on one of
his own steamers, was accosted by |
a passenger who took him for one |
of the crew, with 'Do you belong
this boat?"
No. replied Daniel quietly,
"the boat belongs to me-"
-LINIMENrs.-"Don't you think
my son resembles me :? asked an
apothecary, as he introduced his
greasy-faced boy to the witty Doc
tor H.
eyes," replied the Doctor, pre-
tending to scan the physiognomy
of each; Eyes, I think I see your
hniments in his countenance."
There is a girl in Jersey whose
lips are SO sweet that they stick to-
gether every morning by the honey
they distill, and she cannot open.
her mouth until she has parted her
lips with q silver knife. She will
be treasure to her husband, not
only on account of her sweetness,
but because she can occasionally
keep her mouth shut.
The OUR MoDEsT.-Host (Self-
made Man): 1 assure you, Brown,
there isn't man as you've been di-
min with to-day as isn't with his
heighty or 'undcrd thousan pound"
Artist lawfully bored): "Oh, don't
apologize, beg! I don't mind'em!
Indifferent honest, I dare say, some
ofein! Seem good judges of your
wine. You needn't tell them who
I am, you know
-"WIsE IN HIS GENERATION. >
"Your advice as q man OF the
world, Gus. Which of the two
Miss Wilson's shall / take to sup
per? There they are by the man
tel-piece. "Well, if you take the
handsome one, you'll have to fat
, ter her; if you take the other, shell
Aatter you. To man who doesn't
, want to marry, like yourself,
should recommend the first by fal
the less dangerous of the two.,
FESTIVITIES OF THE SEASON.
Mrs. Smith Ito Mr., s., who has jus
: arrived home at 2:30 A. N.Y.: "Wha
e do you mean, sir, by coming hom'
: in such state at this untimel,
e hour? Mr.. S. DECIDEDLY fresh
: "S-s-sh-shtate Timely hour! Eth
4 (After a pause with intense digni
IS ty), ''Forshinate for You, MARIAN
frien' took me British Museum (hic
an if we hadn't come ont for
, lasht act pan 'omime-'shouldn't
, been home for very conshi 'rable-
# (hic)."
re A PLAINTIvE WHALE Wi
l. those of our subscribers who kno'
2 themselves to be indebted to u
II please make an effort to square u
"a their accounts Most Of thel
g know the amount of their indeb
edness and can simply remit IL
w money by mail. Don't wait
I'd come to town, for the roads Al
c. terribly muddy and we'd starve
n death if they all waited for Il
he roads to dry up. Send by ma
es If any of them propose to absolut
X ly cheat us out of our dues, thu
will do us a favor by saying s
= This suspense is unbearable.
OF CLASSES OF READERS, -Colerid,
n in a lecture twenty years ago, divi
ne readers into four classes. The fiji
m he compared to the hour-gla'
IT. their reading being as a sand
'or runs in and out, and leaves not
vestige behind. A second cla'
mt he said, resembles the spoons
" which imbibes everything, and ]
AZ turns it nearly in the same sta
I'm only little dirtier. A third cli
ev- he likened to jelly-bag, which
lows all that is pure to pass aw;
I'm and retains only the refuse Al
IAN dregs. The fourth class, of viii
rs he trusted there were, many amo
nal his auditors, he compared to
inc slaves in the diamond mines of g
conda, who casting away all thai