The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1871-04-01

Dinners n Diplomatic Dcmoralizers.
When the historian Of the future, Macaulays
New Zealander, for instance, shall take his
seat amid the fossil files Of c0ntemporaneous
journals and try to form a just idea of nine
teentb century diplomacy, he will be sorely
puzzled by one fact continually staring him in
the face. That will be the connection between
affairs of State and affairs Of the stomach. 10
centre gouUerne 10 monde is the French cynl-
cism on the subject. The aforesaid historian
will, perhaps, add that the diplomats Of our
day gave the principle pretty good trial in
practice. The whole system is an outrage ON
posterity, for future generations will be
plunged in an inextricable middle when they
attempt, for example, to evolve our little bills
on the Alabama claims from the surrounding
cataract of bills of fare.
1t is unfortunate for the High Commission,
at present supposed to be sitting in Washing
ton, that the word sJoint" is at its head.
Every time the Commissioners eat, the entire
press of the country goes into succession Of
little 6recracker jokes over the event. Though
we may smile family at these small pops, tho
philosopher of the hour should learn his Sc
rious Lesson from them. Eating is an ancient,
useful and honorable occupation; drinking Is
equally ancient, undoubtedly as useful, and
there is no question about its being highly
honorable per- Sc. There is, however, diff
ference Of opinion as to what should be drunk.
Why, then, diplomatists should not be allowed
to dine as seriously as less distinguished NOR
tails is question to which we shall address
ourselves.
There is no Sinking the point that popular
belief inclines to the idea that the discussion
of affairs Of State is intimately associated
with discussing edibles. Like all popular
beliefs it is s'founded on fact" When this
examining process was first applied to inter-
national difficulties it would be hard to de-
termine. Cleopatra was as famous for her
automatically seductive dinners and petis
soupers as any one nowadays. Lucullus was
a most magnificent nsoitrs dhotel; the Epicu-
rians were devoted to dining, and an antique
Sybarite's cuisine covered all that was
recherche In prog. As general thing in
those good old times the stufing
was done after treaties were signed
now q dinner is supposed to have great
force in shaping treaty. To the willy, slip.
perry Tallyrand we owe much of the celebrity
to which this has attained. Castlereagh
Toasted Ireland out Of Its Parliament and
since then eating has been looked upon a. a
powerful means to soften the head of hard
shell diplomatist. We had pregnant instance
of it's success lately in the person of q gushing
old gentleman we sent over to England as
Minister to the Court Of 81. James. It will be
seen that all this points to England being the
land which shall be awarded the honor of first
applying the dinner as diplomatic demo-
ralizer. They are the inventors and perpe-
traitors Of post-prandIal oratory. No wonder
they should elaborate the rubicund idea
of cutting slice off a neighbor's
territory, while helping him to slice Of plum
pudding. But the system is not likely to work
with Americans. What an old gentleman may
say over his grog, call it ponche, sorbet OF
whatever you please we are likely to take
with biscuit.
But there is fearful side to the
question, which furnishes a fresh pic
ture of modern civilization. When a
whole republican nation becomes nervous
at the sight of live English lord
in full dress because he holds an invitation to
dinner in his hand, there is something wrong.
1t makes us feel worse than the poison Of
Lucrezia Borgia ever made her guests. s'Be-
ware, the dreadful avalanche-of English din
ners" is the last good night our eastward
of bound statesmen hear. We have learned to
laugh at their doughty cry of Excelsior" for
public opinion soon lays them out as straight
and stiff as Longfellows youth in the poem.
So long as this went on we had the corrective
in our hands. English dinners have been
dead-sea fruit to our ENJOYS abroad. But
now the odious practice has invaded our soil
and spread its wheedling white cloth under
the Stars and Stripes. We have Commission
among us which dimes our legislators not only
highly and jointly, but separately and every
other way. What is worse, our iron-clad
fathers of Jti1aesse have taken to dining the
Commissioners. Like the Indian who saw
the white man use mustard, and took
spoonful himself, they seek to discon-
cert the British lords at their own game.
How it will end Heaven only knows;
at present the record is frightful. The first
batch of the English Commissioners arrived
in Washington on the oath of February last.
There were two to follow, and of course bust
ness could not go on without them. In the
meantime the dinner demon was not idle.
The traditional green Undiscovered table was
prepared by Secretary Fish; but snowy
linen damask table cloth was laid
over it, with a smile of self-gratula-
ton. A similar scene was enacting at
the British Embassy. The plot on both
sides was laid very deep in the Intervals Of