Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-10-19
Conundruas.

D w Ry are cOWardty soldiers like Lord
: Nelson? Because the last thing ne did
t was to die for his country; and that is
the last thing they intend doing.
Why is acorn field like an army of
soldiers? Both have kernels.
:. Why Is an corn field not like an
army Of soldiers? The first has MANY
kernals to one ear; and the other has
. many ears to one kernal.
What plants grow splendidIy at wa
tering places: Hops.
Why is carpenters wife an unhap-
py woman? Bebause her husband is al
ways jawin" er 0oiner.)
Why is il vulgar to use a woodeR
: platter for the loaf? Why, of course,
because its underbred.
I What bug is it that flourishes all the
year round? Humbug.
When is card player shabby fel-
lew? When he shuffies.
Why is Theirs like an umbrella? Be-
cause he keeps Napoleon from the
reign.
/ What confection did they have in
Ark? Married couples-no. no, we
beg parion-we mean preserved pairs.
The population of Delaware is 125,-
lois.
The total assessed value of property
in Illinois is $469, 9,s19, ,4S6.
"a blush is a sign which nature
hangs out to show where chastity
dwells. p Goethe.
Any hard steel tool will cut glass
with facility when kept freely wet with
ehamphOr dissolved in tuIpentine.
Loose habits threaten to prevail
amOng masculine fashiOnables. The
big-legged trowSers are coming around
again.
Emperor William demonstrates his
devotion to peace by setting apart 40,-
100000 thalers as ''a reserve fund for
war"
The London doctors are experiment.
ing on cundurangO, and are confident
that it will,extirpate caneers-or the,pa-
tients.
The preventive against the rusting of
iron and steel tools is a thin coat of
heavy, thick, crude lubrecating petr0-
leam.
= Sedan celebrated the sad anniversary
of its great battle by closing all places
IOf business, and holding solemn ser
vices in the churches.
Sixty druggists and eighty-one clerks
examined by the Board of Pharmacy,
in New York, failed to prove their Ca
pacity and were refused licenses.
Oaky Hall is essaying just now that
wise remark of Confucius: sour
greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall"
A Missouri editor is lying himself
out for first-elass funeral by publish
ing the names of his neighbOring ply
sieians who have ''bad luck" with
their patients.
Those serene imbeciIes, the holders OF
Confederate cotton bonds, still traffic in
that variety Of waste paper, the latest
quotations being five cents on the dol
lar.
A New England scientist" has dis
covered that milk weighs from two
and a quarter to two and a half pounds
a quaFt-aeeording to the size of the
quart.
The Lowell Mass. Board of Health
order their officers to XII the dogs be-
longing to families in which. .there,is
smallpox, as they consider them
cause of spreading the disease iR many
instances,
Bishop Selwyp, of Litchfeld, Eng
land, who is nOws.on his way to this
country, is said to be the original of
hnr
the "man who feared, God and could
walk a thousand miles in a thousand
hours:
A bullet settled disputed point in
a game of erequet in Virginia the 9TH
er day., The funeral OF the gentleman
who got on the wrong side of the argu-
ment-and the wrong end Of the pistol,
was one of the most fashionable
events Of the season.
Fifteen hundred ambitious and pub
lie spirited Bostonians desire to win
glory by serving the city as policemen.
There are only twenty-five vacancies,
and about fourteen hundred and seven
ty-five of the aspirants are in danger
of disappointment.
1t is reported that Eugene, youngest
son of Baron ROthchild, will visit
Charleston, South Carolina, in short
time, for the purpose of eOnferring with
those Isreaelites here who may wish to
remove to Jerusalum under the plan
looking to the selection of that site as
homeof the race generally.
A poetical Vermonter presents his
views of the season in this fashion:
ave know that autumn is here from
the fact the swa low syndicateS discuss
the question when to hOmeward hy,
and the yellow pumpkins now dot the
rural landscape like the golden nut
megs on the sands of Ophir."
The great consumption Of water in
Boston, consequent upon the enforce
ment of the liquor law, ccmpels the
authorities to look around for fresh
sources of supply. The water of Lake
Cochituate, it Is thought, will be soon
found insufficientforth the daily1consump-
ton of the city.
Signor Tamberlik, who is in Mexico.
was recently called before the curtain
twenty times, and received 5000 bou-
uuets. At the conclusion 0fthe perfor-
nance his carriage was dragged In tri-
lumph to his hotel. The Signor is
singer-not tambouriniss, as might
be Inferred from his name.
England had Sc, ,76s lunatics in 1889
at the rate of nineteen in every ten
Thousand of the people. The census OF
the present year shows that there are
55, $50 deranged persons in the English
counties, or twenty-five out oil every
ten thousand; and even that figure does
not include the Royal family, or the