The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1871-12-07
The Sercuaie.


SO any more" and he left poor Il to
the tender merces of his fellow clerks
The Sercnade.
As several Of our public men are con-
stantly being surprised with serenades, l
concluded I'd be surprised in the same
way; SO / made arrangements accordin
/ | asked the brass band how much they d
take to take me entirely by surprise with a
serenade. They said they'd oyerwhelm me
with unexpected honor for seven collars,
which | accepted. l wrote out my i'm
promptoo speech severil days beforehand,
bein' very careful to e1punge all ingramat-
ticisms, and payed particular attention to
the punktooation- 1t was, if may say it
without egitism, manly effort; but, alas
| never delivered it, as the sekel will
show you. paced up and down the
kitchen, speakin' my piece over and over,
so as to be entirely perfeck. Ny bloomin'
young daughter, Sarah Ann, bothered me
summit by singin' "Why do summer roses
fade o. because" said /, arter hearin'
her sing it about fourteen times, 'because
its their biz Let EN- fader' "Betsy,"
said |, pausin' in the middle of the room,
and lettir' M eagle eye wander from the
manuscript, Betsy, on the night of this
here serenade, l desires you to appear at
the winder dressed in white, and wave a
lilly-white handkerchief. Dye hear p
"If | appear" said that remarkable fe-
male, q shall wave a HIly-whitc bucket
of bilin' hot water, and somebody will be
acalIed. One ball-headed old fool will
get his share" She referred to her hus-
band. No doubt of it in my mind. But
for fear she might exasperate me l said
nothin. The expected night cum. At
nine o'clock precisely there was sound of
footsteps in the yard and the band struck
up lively air. which, when they did finish
it, there were cries Of " Ward - "Ward,'
| stepped out into the portico. 4 brief
glance showed me that the assembly was
summit mixed. There was a great many
ragged boys, and there was quite a number
Of grown up persons, evidently under the
atiuencc Of the intoxicatn' boe The
band was also drunk. Dr.. Schwazey, who
was holdin up post, assumed to be partially
drunk-So much so that it had got into his
spectacles, which were staggcrin' wildly
over his nose. Bat | was in for it, and !
commenced: Teller citizens: For this
unexpected honor-' Leader of the band
=" VIII you give us our money now, Or
wait till you cit through p TO this pain
full and disgustin' interruption l paid no
attention. for this unexpected honor
I thank YOU" Leader of the band But
you said you'd give us seven dollars if we'd
play two choons." Again | didn't notice
him, but resumed as follows: 81 say |
thank you warmly. When | look at this
crowd Of true Americans, my heart swels
-" DR.. Schwlzey-" So do Ir' a
voice" We all do - "--my heart
swelIs-' A voice" Three cheers for
the swells y I'VE live" said |, ain
troublesome times, but | hope we shall
again resume our former proud position,
and 90 ON in our glorious career! !" DR..
Schwazey-'I am willin' for one to 90 on
a glorious career! Win you join me, fel-
low citizens, in glorious career? What
! {.
recr, when he finds himself?' "Dr.
Schwazey, said |, stcrnly "you are
drunk. You are disturbin' the meetn'.'
DIR. s." Have You a banquet spread in
the house? | should ike rhynossyross
on the half shell, or hippopotamus on
roast, or horse and wagon roasted
whole. Anything that's handy. Don't
put yourself out on my account At this
pint the band begun to made hidyous
noises with their brass horns, and u ex-
ceedmgly ragged boy wanted to know if
there want to be some whites afore the
concern broke up? l didn't know exactly
what to do, and was just on the pint of
dom it, when a upper winder suddenly
opened, and a stream of hot water was
brought to bear on the disorderly crowd,
who took the hint and retired at once
When | am taken by surprise with another
serenade, l shall, among other arrange
ments, have respectable company on
hand. So no more from me to-day
When this you see, remember mc.-4rte-
,,,1,e lI-n,.R