The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-07-12

generally"
The Quakers are discussing the
question, "What shall we do to keel
d young people among usT" Wider
their pastures;
Well, my young gentleman, ant
how would you like your hair cut r
40, like papa's, please-with a LITTLE
round hole at the top"
A Nevada editor says Olive Logar
is "the most right up and snappy
ebulition of womanly git up and gil
that we ever had the pleasure of meet
ing.
A grocer in the suburbs, when
complained to about selling bad eggs
said, SAT this time of the year the hen:
are not well, and often lay bad eggs
Up in Vermont a letter is trying to
find ''the man who has the Thurrow
bread Dearnum cattle. 1 am not scar
tin o the rite enitionls of his name"
The children of a Maine farmer,
while playing Indians in the pasture
the other day. drove the COWS over q
precipice, killing and manning the
whole herd.
"His death eclipsed the gayety Of
nations, and impoverished the stock
of harmless pleasure" This eulogy
of DR.. johnson upon Garrick has been
aptly applied to Dickens.
When Gen. Banks voice failed him
in his recent Cuban speech, an out
sruer was cruel enough to make a re-
mark to the effect that "Another OF
the National Banks has busted"
A little Utica girl, noticing a gen
tleman of very were c~ountenance
passing in the street on Sunday, asked,
another, amt it breaking the Sabbath,
to look so cross when he's going to
meeting?"
The young ladies in North Adams,
Mass, are delighted with the Chinese
and propose to cultivate the Chinese
shoe. If they do, they will assuredly
put their foot in it.
It is computed that every year the
Mississippi carries to the Gulf a bulk
of soil a mie STARE and nearly three
hundred feet deep. In ti"-- 'hele-
fore, New Orleans must become a tar-
inland city.
An Idaho girl is abused for putting
on style, because she cleans her teeth
w7tk the but end of a backing brush
She saws she was brought up to be
nest aad doesn't care what folks
thi uks.
A servant girl asked her mistress
the other evening for the loan of her
white muslin dress to wear to a party,
modestly remarking, 81 dislike to ask
you for it, as borrowed clothes never
fit me as we'll as my own
By a strange coincidence the first
instalment of Edwin Brood the I'M
finished work Of the late Charles Dick
ems, published since his demise, deals
almost exclusively with graves and
tombs, death, its my steries snd solem-
mites.
Epicurean Youth Cat the Sunday
morning breakfast table in Boston,
'tPlease give me some butter father?"
Pater familias-"Whatl Butter on
beansl Butter on the richest Of food !
Ne, my son.
y In New Orleans, rosy checked
peaches, black grapes, sunny pears,
liquid water melons, black cherries,
red plums, soft figs, early apples, and
perfumed cantelopes, are plentiful,
but prices are still high.
A gentleman from Germany, on
his first visit to an American church,
had a contribution box with a hole in
the top presented to him, and whis
pered to the collector, 81 don't got
meia bapers, unit can't vote"
A yankee in Russia was listening
to the boasts of some Russians as to
the great size of the seals caught on
the northern coasts, suddenly ex-
claimed, "Ah, gentlemen, but you
should see the great seal of the Uni.
ted States Government"
In view ofsteamooats and telegraphs
in the Holy Land. a Paris paper asks
"How long will it be before a cotton
factory is established on the banks of
the Jordan, and the echoes of the hills
of Palestine awakened by the shrill
whistle of the iron horsef"
An assistant q. S. Marshal in Lou
%isviIle. in taking the census. asked a
colored woman what personal proper
ty she possessed, to which she replied,
"Nothin' but desc tree chillen yere,
an dey amt wuth much since the
Emancipation proclamation"
A man meeting an acquaintance
accosted him thus: "Ah, Mike, who
do you think / have Just been speak
ing to? Your old friend Patrick. and
faith he has grown so thin I hardly
knew him To be sure, you are thin,
and 1 am thin, but he is thinner than
both of US put together"
Confucius, who lived more than five
hundred years before Christ, when
asked by one of his disciples, els there
one word which may serve as a rule
of practice all ones life? replied, "Is
not reciprocity such a wordY What
you donot want done unto yourself,
do not unto Others"