Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1871-11-04
a MELrINe sTonY.


Il 4 One winter evening a country
st0rekeeper in the Green Mountain
State was about closing up for the
night, and while standing IN the
snow outside, putting up the win
dow shutters, saw through the glass
a louneing, worthless fellow with
IA, grab s pound Of fresh butter
from the shelf, and conceal Il in his
coat. .tru frla
The act was no sooner detected
than the revenge was hit upon, and
/ a very few minutes found the Green
| Mountain storekeeper At once indul-
ging his appetite for fun TO the ful-
Hest extent, aud paying of the thief
with q facetious sort OF torture, for
which he would have gained a pre-
.mium from the old Inquistion.
81 say, Seth, said the storekeepeF,
coming in and closing the door after
him, slapping his hand over his
shoulders and stamping the snow OF
Seth had his hand on the door, his
hat on his head, and the roll Of but-
! ter in his hat, anxious TO make his
exit as soon as possible,
Il say, Seth, sit down l. reckon
now on such cold night as this a
little something warm would not
hurt q fellow.
Seth felt very uncertain; he had
the butter and was exceedingly
anxious 20 be OF, but the tempta-
! ton of something warm sadly inter-
fered with his resolution TO 90. This
hesitation was settled BY the owner
Of the butter taking Seth by the
shoulders and planting him in seat
close to the stove, where he was in
such a manner cornered in by the
boxes and barrels that, while the
grocer stood before him, there was
no possibility OF getting out, and
right in this place, sure enough, the
storekeeper sat down.
stSeth, well have a little warm
Santa Cruz,'' said the Green Noun
tain grocer; 50 be opened the stove
door, and stuffed in as many sticks
as the place would admit; without
it you'd freeze going home such
night as this.v ~ l- l
Seth already felt the butter SET
thing down closer 20 his hair, and he
jumped up declaring he must 60
ssNot till you have something
warm, Seth; Seth, come, I've got 4
story to tell you,n and Seth was
again rushed into his seat by his
cunning tOrmentor.
~Ohl it's so hot here said the
petty thief, attempting 90 rise. ai'i
"Sit down--dOn't be in such a
hurry,n retorled the grocer, push
ing him back into his chair.
aBut Pve got tie COWS TO fodder
aud the wood 70 split, L must be
going y said the prosecuted chap.
"But yen mustn't tear yourself
sway, Seth, in this manner. sit
down, let the cows take care Of
themselves, and KEEP yourself easy;
you appear to be a little hdgety,"
said the rognish grocer with q wick
ed leer. li 1
The next thing was the Produo-
fiOn of two smoking glasses of hot
toddy, the very sight OF which, in
Seth's present situation, would have
made the hair stand erect upon his
head, had Il not been well oiled and
Kept down by the butter.
s.Seth Twill give,you toast, now,
and you can butter 1t yourself, said
the grocer, with an air Of such con-
summate simplicity, that, poor Seth,
believed himself unsuspected. Seth,
here's-here's q Christmas goose,
well roasted, ehs tell you It's the
greatest thing in creation. And,
Seth, don't you never use hogs fat,
or common cooking butter 10 baste
it with; come take your butter-I
mean, Seth, take your tOddy."
POcr Seth now began to smoke, as
well as melt, and his mouth was her
nIetically sealed up, as though he
had been born dumb Streak after
streak of butter came pouring from
under his hat, and his handkerchief
was already soaked with the greasy
overflow. Talking away, as If
nothing was the matter, the fun-lOv-
ing grocer kept stuffing wood into
the stove, white poor Seth sat up
right, with his back against the
counter, and his knees t0uelfing the
red hot furnace before.
ssCOld night, this" said the grocer.
sswhy, Seth, you seem to perspire as
IL YOU were warm? Why dom YOU
take Your hat orr Here, let me put
your hat away
i ssNo, !" exclaimed poor Seth, at last.
mo, ! must go, let me ont, l amt
well; let me 50"
+ A greasy cataract was now pour
ing down the poor mans face and
neck, and soaking into his clothes,
and trickIing down his body into his
boots, so he was literally in a per-
feet bath of oil.
s'Well, good night, Seth, said the
humorous NermOnter, ''if you will
20; and adding, as he started out of
the door, Il say, Seth, reckon the
fun ] have had out of YOU is worth
ninepence, so shan't charge you for
| that pound of butter in your hat.