The Shasta courier., 1871-09-16
HOW PAT TOLD THE NEWS.

" AAdia, VI -'Olu haiiy, W.
used to Call him, ran a small one-horss
wagon in old mining times between Blue
Gulch and Copper City. He was Hib-
ernlan, advanced in years, and bis two
prominent characteristics were, first, re-
markable volubilty which rendered any
enms 1nication with him a matter Of time
and patience second, an utter inability to
do oything correctly, presided there wss
cany possible way Of maxim. d blunier.
Repeated experiments had demonstrated
it to be utterly futile to attempt to send
any verbal message by Pat, as witness the
following example:
Major Fitzgerald had died Of pleurisy
fever, and as Pat was just starting for the.
Gulch, message was given him to deliver
there to the Majors friends that, "Aearly
we'll Of the pleurisy, he was taken with
something ofa relapse and dropped of
very suddenly"
Arrived at the Gulch, almost the frst
man Pat met was the Maj,r's brother in
law, who, ba, ing heard of his illness, was
of course anxious to know how he did
"Well Pet" what's the news from the
Citt T1OW , Tue MdJOr
"Top O. the mornin,' yer amer. Sure,
its bad luck often brings good luck !; an
it's good luck have of matin' yer amer,
for regardin' the Major, sure I've mes
sage cousarnin' him for yersilfa as was towld
ne not three hours ago, just torninst Phil
Nadlgans sbeoeen up to Copper City, BY
the Majors friend, the gossoon as smashed
me dudheen last Christmas mornin wild .
lick from "a"
"Well, WELL no matter about all that
what's the word abou. the Major :"
"Sure, it's only good word I'd ever
like 10 say. yer amer, of Fitzgerald, one
Of the owldest families in the ovid coun-
thry; an though the O'Hara's themselves
has uolhin' to boast Of, yell spake well
O the piper if yer fathers 6ddler-an BY
that same token, dye mind, eonsarnin' the
message I'm deliverp' to yer amer, sure
Jack Hagan, him wild wan eye as 6ddles
up to the city, an for the matter O. that'll
cover the buckle himself quite tidy, Genes
out O. the shebeen an 'Pat| says he, re-
mimber livery wurd Of the message" says
be, an more betokens the
"You internal bag of wind" roared the
listener, out of patience, ."what have you
got to tell about the Major?"
"Sure, an I'm discoorsia' the same to
yer amer, for the gossoon, dye mind, as
smashed me pipe to smithereens, came
racin' up to me like mad as | stopped for
ninst the sEebeen, an dye know the
Major?' says he, all out o wind wild run
min Does COW know clover by sight"
says I. Sure them says he, 'ye're to say,
an' just then l. caught sight OF woman
takiu' on cryin in the windy of the house
an sure, yer amer, it's as great pity to
see woman cry as goose go barefoot;
an shure it's sumthin's asthray, thinks
l."
"But what is the message ?"
"Shure, is it not spakin' Tam intirely,
an its bad words l have to say; but it's
as good to ate the divil as the broth he's
billed in, sure; an yer amer would listen
to the message like mesilf at was all ears
like jackass whin l heard it, an sorra
word of it but"
"What is is ?" said the now fully arous-
ed auditor, seizing Pat by the throat.
"Out with it, or I'll strangle you"
"Och, murther Sure, know yer amer
won't 90 for to"
"Yes will What is it ?"
"Sure, he told me-"
"Well, 90 on p giving poor Pat shake
that made his teeth rattle like dice in a
box.
THAT the Major
"les, go on"
"Was most we'll of the furisy, and
and
And -and-and what?" with another
shake that made Pats teeth chatter
"An' was taken in somebody's lap an
dropped off very slovenly," said Pat, "and
that's all w