The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-10-10
CLIPT0GRAMS.

in Prussia.
A Humane society recently arrested
a young woman for beating an egg.
"How does your horse answerr "I
really don't know-I never question
him"
Newsboys are never "broke" for
they always have an "extra-tWo
cents"
In Vienna it is forbidden to publish
matrimonial advertisements in the
newspapers.
A girl may be sure man loves her
unutterably when he sits in her pres
euce for an hour without speaking.
An Illinoisan recently kissed the
hired girl while his wife was looking.
He will be out again by Thanksgiving.
A physician has discovered that the
night mare, in nine cases out Of ten, is
produced from owing bill to the prin-
ter.
"Pa, what can 1 do, unless you get
me riding habit, up here in the coun-
try?" "Get into the habit Of walking
my dear"
A Savannah man was cured Of
rheumatism by the active movements
he made to get out of the way of
mad steer.
The Courant, a paper established in
1905, and edited until ITO by Daniel
Defoe, ia the oldest newspaper in Ed
inburgh.
Chief Justice Chase is buying up
Rhode Island. He has already pur-
chased five acres, and is keeping a
sharp eye on the other fifteen.
An Indianapolis policeman who in
terfered to prevent boy from thrash-
ing his mother, was set upon by both
parties and ignominously expelled.
Why do men not wear corsetsf Be-
cause Jonah, having surrounded him
self by whalebone for three days,
found that he could not stay.
"Mr. Postofice man, want to pay
the postage on this letter" "Single or
double, miss ?" Double, sir" with
courtesy , 81 was married last week."
At circus in New Albany, some
mischievous scoundrel cut the guy ropes
and the tent collapsed on the crowd
They made terrible muss of it.
| 1t is said Rufus Choate was once ap-
Piled to to defend criminal, and de-
clined fatty, exclaiming: $50 STEPPED
in blood and no money! He's lost
mani"
A fashionable clergyman in Chicago
, warns the sinners of his congregation
that if they don't repent, they will go
to the place Of eternal uneasiness."
: Certainly, a mild way Of putting it.
A far Western lady, who was not
posted in history, and who had forgot
ten her geography, asked friend who
was going to Utah to bring her a cou-
pie Of Mormons for her aquarium.
A deserter from our army is to be
branded on the hip with a letter d.
He has only to add another d of his
accord, and he will be d ID. But,
in any event, should we treat men like
dunn cattle? Let the President revoke
the order.
One Sunday evening recently, q
Methodist preacher in Iowa advised
the sisters to mortify satan by giving
their jewelry to the church on the
next Sabbath evening. The result
was galvanized watch and three
brass fnger-rings. They are q mean
set ofsinners," said the parson.
A st. Paul carman, who recently
lost one of his horses, of which he
was very fond, has been made insane
by the chatting of his acqusinta tances.
who told him he had killed the animal
by over-driving him. He is continu-
ally dreading that he is to be hanged
} for numbering his horse, and it has
been found necessary to place him in
Jail.
Will the newspapers persist in SPELL
ing Pittsburgh without an "h p-lEx.
Yes, we shall, and also spell travel
er with one "l."-[Cleveland Herald.
Yes, in that city az" is generally
II AHOGhOu Oub Vi 0NS hAiee AZ
I no good reason for robbing Pittsburgh
out of its last letter.-[Pitts. Gazette.
, Yes it is; they want the "h" to
? make the az" they knock out of trav-
/ elers perfect.-[Frie Republican.
Missouri scoundrels are ingenious in
their robberies. Two smooLh-faced
, youths near Greenville, wishing to
plunder an unfortunate Irishman who
had Just been paid about 500 wages
for hard work, one of them attired
himself as a woman, and the other put
: on a pair of whiskers, and claimed to
:, be a Justice of the Peace. The Hiber-
q nian was gotten drunk; the boy in
i feminine attire made love to him; the
Cslt was smitten, and asked to be mar
9 ried. He gave all money to his bride
y and went to sleep. His wife changed
II her costume, and so did the justice,
and both helped the sober lrishman to
70 look for his money as may he supposed, f.,
al in vain,