The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-01-12
WIT AND HUMOR.

little vulgar wnen nc Is quite IN Tue
fashion"
The man who married three sis.
ters in succession excused himself for
doing so on the ground that he got oiE
with only one mother-n-law.
Wherefore is darkey with no hair
on the top of his head, like candidate
fol a club who has been rejected by its
members Because he's black bad
individual,
1t is said that the man who won.
take a paper because he can borrow
one has invented machine with which
ne can cook his dinner by the smoke
Of his neighbours chimney.
"A country girl coming from the
field was told by her cousin that she
looked as fresh as daisy, kissed by
the dew. mo, indeed" was the sim.
pie reply, THAT wasn't his name"
"A gentleman lay in bed one morn.
ing, when friend stepping in said:
p, break.as. is coming on"
"Let it come" exclaimed p, With
a look OF defiance, II am not afraid OK
it."
"A colored gentleman, during tie
recent cold weather, was asked if he
didn't think it was below zero. "He-
low zero, chile zero done froze up
long ago, and there's no use talkiu'
any mo- bout him.
II you are very precise man, and
wish to be certain of what you get
never marry a girl named Ann, for we
have the authority Of Lindlcy Murry
and many others, for the assertion,
that "Ann is an indefinite article"
Carlyle, after emptying his quiver
of more satlrical arrows than any other
essayist, coolly says: "Sarcasm now
see to be, in general, the language Of
the devil; for which reason long
since as good as renounced it,"
An old lawyer says that the three
most troublesome clients he ever had
were a young woman who wanted to
be married, 4 married woman who
wanted divorce, and an old maid
who didn't know what she wanted.
The greatest joiner-the lawyer.
He can place tenant empanel jury.
box witness, bore the court, chiscl
client, auger the gains, floor the wit
ness, cut his board, nail the case, ham
mcr the desk, file his bill. and shave
whole community.
live been member of this church
nigh on to forty years." said pinched
!ihrler of Christianity, land it hasn't
cost me six and quarter cents"
God bless your poor, economical
witheredup, old soul" said fervent
brother in the corner
"A candidate for ministerial honors
was asked by very orthodox member
Of the examining committee whether,
in the case of the man with the with
cred hand, the man healed himself, or
the Lord healed him. "Well," was
the reply, ~ always supposed the man
had hand in it."
A young Kentscky couple recent
ly made successful elopement Soon
after an officer wcs sent in pursuit. and
arriving at the hotel where they were
stopping, found them snugly in bed.
He explained his euand, when the
young lady said, with a ringing laugh,
Tell ma it's too late. Snuggle up,
viii, and don't get out of bed for
him"
Young men who 90 to see girls
have adopted new way of obtaining
kisses. They assert, on the authority
of scientific writer's, that the concus.
sion produced by kiss will cause tie
flame of gas jet to flicker, and easily
induce the girl to experiment in the in.
terest of science. The first kiss or two
the parties watch the flame to see it
flicker. but soon become so interested
in the experiment as to let it flicker if
it wants to. Thy it yourself.
Just About ght.--Some forty
years ago, when mans responsibility
depended much on his taking news
paper, a certain shrewd old fellow was
one morning enjoying the luxury OF
perusing his paper, (although he la,
bored under the disadvantage OF not
knowing single letter of the alpha,
bet, when a more knowing neighbor
on happening in--perhaps to borrow
his paper--observcd to him that te
had his paper wrong end up. The old
gentleman, drawing himself up in all
the pomposity Of ahronted dignity, ex-
claimed, 81 would have you to know,
sir, that if take paper, and pay for
ii, have a right to read it which end