The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-26
CLIPT0GRAMS.

deacon, who was always on the wrong
side and ludicrously stubborn. When
the Temperance reform was in full
feather, and the question was discuss
ed in the church of which he was an
officer, he, as Il matter of course, oppos-
ed it. He would not sign the pledge;
he would not consent to its presenta-
ton in the Sunday school; he objected
vehemently to the distribution oftracta.
One day, in the presence ofa full house,
one of the members of the church
made the case Of the deacon subject
of PRAYER. He said 80 Lord if thy
servant, our brother, continues his OPP
position to US, wilt Thou, in thy tender
mercies, remove him from the church
militant below to the church triumph
ant above? ?" 81 won't gop Numbered
the indignant and obstinate deacon.
A nicely dressed young gentleman en-
tered barber shop in somewhat
retired portion Of the city few days
ago, for the purpose of getting shaved.
The tonsorial artist s2at on the brush
and proceeded to lather when he was
stopped by the horror stricken custom
er. who inquired what he meant by
splitting on the brush. why" said
the barber, "ain't you a gentleman"
Yes" replied the stranger. well"
said the barber, that's the way We
treat gentlemen; when a rough comes
in, we just merely spit on his face
Sometimes in after life, when the
feet of some hayward man have stray
I'd far away from the home of his
youth, and his heart has wandered
far from his fathers God, some men,
ory Of the past, like the sweet, sad
memory of the evening chime, may
wake long slumbering echoes and
open long seaIei fountains and faith
er's counsels and mothers prayers
will come up again from the sacred
burial places of the past with wondrous
power to melt and win the hayward
heart.
A party of gentlemen were having
good time near Fond Du Lac, Wis
consn, recently, when it occurred to
one of them that glass of water might
be an agreeable variety. The most
sober individual i'll the company was
detailed for dtuy at the we'll. He pro-
ceeded to a grinstone, put his bucket
in position, and turned the crank with
dignifed assiduity till some one stop
ped him by laughing long enough to
convince him OF his mistake,
A quaker gentleman riding in n
carriage with fashionable lady deck
ed with a profusion Of jewelry, heard
her complain of the cold. Shivering
in her lace bonnet and shawl as light
as cobweb, she exclaimed "What
shall | do to get warm?" Il really
don't know" replied the Quaker sol
EMMY; "unless thee should put on an
other breastpin." 'a
Lady had favorite lap-dog, which
she called Perchance. "a singular
name,' said somebody, "for beauti-
ful pet, madam.-Where did you find
it?' "Oh," drawled she, sit was named
for Byron's dog. You remember
where he says 'Perchance my dog will
howl. >" t'
A quarrel on the Boulevard termi-
mated thus, one day recently, 70 the
amusement of the spectators; "Mon-
sier, you shall give me satisfaction"
Reply (amid q peal of laughter)
Monsieur, cannot. am a member
of the Society for Protecting Animals"
Young lady Indignant at being
brought to the Academy of designs too
earlyD "Now,I l told you, papa, this
wasn't the fashionable hour. Wen
have nothing but these horrid pictures
to look at till the people come!'
A man of superior pomposity was
once alluded to by Washington Irving
as "a great man, and, in his own es-
a man ofgreat weight. When
he goes to the West he thinks tho East
tips up"
A fellow tried to hang himself in
London not long ago, and the magis-
trate before whom he was taken very
ordered him to pay the man
who cut him down ten shilliugs for
the job.
A Hartford horse seizes rats in his
mouth when they come to his manger
to steal his oats, shakes them like a
terrier until satisfied they are dead,
and then throws them out Of the bin.
Young ladies are now advised not
to put too much oil on their hair, for
the reason that it is apt to spoil not
only the lapel Of the coat, but also
the vest.
A daughter Of a New York stock
broker exults over the fact that she
has hoeu to EurOPa six times and has
never seen the inside Of her mothers
kitchen.
Great Britain last yelr consumed
iorty-two million pounds of tobacco,
lr a pound and a half for each one of
The population.
The largest telescope in T. Q world is
now being made at Cambridge, Mass,
for the government. Three or four
years will be required to complete it.
~Corn bread" said an Irish waiter;