The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1871-08-09
SPICE BOX.

The man "who couldn't find his
match" went to bed in ;he dark.
stroug.minded women don't eat
eggs. They can't bear the yolk.
The waiter is an irresistible per
son; he carries everything before him.
"A kiss is the aims which enriches
him who receives without iwpoverisblng
her who gives.
The epitaph ofthe double headed !!
baby propounced by the New York HAL
is, Sshe are dead; they is gone"
Many a child sings want to be
an angel, who would be more satlsiac
tory if he wanted to be a good boy.
Carlyle says: "Make yourself
good man, and then you may be sure
that there is one rascal less in the world"
What is now styled "beautiful
blonde" says some fellow, once went BY
the name of q "tow head"
Why should young ladies set
good examples? Because young men
are SO apt to follow them.
- 1t will probably give rise 10 diff
ference of opinion, if we ask ifany iDdl-
vidual who has married shrew can be
considered slrepd man.
"A darkey who witnessed the ez-
plosion of shell for the first time ez-
claimed: "See dar, he'll had laid an
egg"
- He that studies books alone will
know how things ought to be; and he
that studies men will know how things
are.
"A contemporary unsallautly makes
the observation that the leading cham
pions of "womau's rights" are generally
found to be "man's lefts."
"A Kansas City husband gave his
wife $500 to buy Christmas presents for
herself. She selected a young clerk and
two railroad tickets.
"A Hiberuian orator, speaking Of
suicide, said ''The only way to stop it
is to make it a capital offence, punishable
with DEATH
Mrs. Stanton means to occupy the
coming summer with some theologico-
scientific studies on the origin Of man,
and other evils. The Golden Age will
publish the results Of this pew effort in
behalf Of the down-troddeD."
One who is, perhaps, a little too
critical says that a majority of the
country preachers could burn quite as
well as the old religious martyrs-they
are sodry.
1.-THE blessed nan that preached
for US last Sunday" said Mrs. Parting
ton, "served the Lord for thirty years
first as circus rider, then as a locust
preacher, and last as an exhauster.
- An Alabama editor having read
DR.. Halls lecture advising that husband
and wife should sleep in separate apart
ments, says that Dr. Hall can sleep
where he chooses, but for himself he
intends to sleep where he can defend his
wife against rats aud all other nocturnal
foes, as long as he has got one to defend.
Two lively girls were driving
buggy on a plank road, and, on being
asked for toll. inquired "How much is
it?" "For man and horse" replied
the gate keeper, ",he charge is fifty
cents" "Well, then, get out Of the
way, for we are two gals and mare |!
Get up, Jenny !" and away they went,
leaving the man in mute atonishment.
A gentleman of Connecticut, who
is something ola sportsman, went to
sleep in church on one Of the late warm
Sunday, ard dreamed he was hunting
rabbits. During an eloquent passage in
the sermon he espied 10 his dream
rabbit, and started the congregation BY
shouting "there he goes"
"A correspondent of the New York
Tribune states that an aggravated case
of cancer in the face was cured by in-
serting seton in the leg, and thus
keeping up perpetua! issue. All
vestiges Of the usually fatal afliction
have vanished.