Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1871-08-23
Wit and WiSd0ni.

A MINNEsoTA juror addressed a note
to the Judge in which he styled himself
as FEOnarable Jug"
OF the LOCI young ladies who faint
ed last year, 6S8 fell into the arms of
gentlemen. two fell on the floor. and
one into water butt:
A FIvE-YEAR OLD city boy told his
mother how to make butter "You
Just take a long stick with cross at
the end OF it then you get big tub
and then you borrow cow
THERE is lad of our acquaintadce
who regards hunger and the Christening
rod as about the same thing both
make the boy boiler.
AT a recent school examination a
young urchin being asked why it was
so warm III the torrid zone, replied
promptly " because it was so hot
WHEN a Boston girl ouarrels with her
lover, she communicates the important
fact to her friends in the remark that
she isn't g on squeezing terms with
that fraud any more.
Long ago at dinner table in Massa-
chusetts, a gentleman remarked that
A, who used to be given to sharp
practice. was getting more circumspect.
. Yes, replied Judge Hoar, g he has
reached the superlative of life. He be-
gan by seeking to get on, then he
sought to get honor, and now he is try
ing to get honest"
Why is a soldier who attempts to
bayonet ghost an unprinc pied fell
low? Because he sticks at nothing.
I LIVE IN J1llia's eyes," said an af-
fected dandy, in Coleman's hearing.
:" [ don't wonderat it, F." replied George,
" since I observed she had sty in
them when saw her last"
MERE matter of form fttinga dress
HAPPY bridegroom: "More money,
madam! more money! have you forgot
en- that my money has bought every
thing you possess very dress you
stand in?" Fair Bride-"No, sir
nor have [ forgotten that your money
has bought what stands in it -
DURING fine starlight evening lately
a three-year old philosopher, after a
silent and apparently profound scruti-
ny OF the heavens, asked his mother alb
ruptly, where the stars came from.
Mamma replied: 81 don't know, Viii
lie; I don't know where the stars come
from" "Well, you bet I do. The
moon laid 'em. .
In Marine City, Mich, the other DAY,
Charles Warwick, nice young man OF
the town, was walking out with some
young ladies, when he found small
frog, and holding it in the palm of his
hand brought it near his mouth, whiel
he opened wide. The juvinile croak
er, seeing what appeared to be place
Of refuge, gave jump into the cave
Charles looked very red in the face
and the ladies looked down into the
mouth, but the frog has never been
seen from that day to this.
A WOMAN went into q store and asked
the proprietor if he had any black hens
eggs. "Don'tknow one kind from the
other, said he but there's a basket
full Of eggs there on the counter 81
o Well then help yourself" said the
dealer. She did so, paying the ordi-
nary price. What was the grocers
chagrin upon the customers departure
to find all of his large eggs gone and
nothing but small unstable ones
remaining.
SCENES of a very grotesque nature
are constantly occurring N Paris, before
the special tribunals appointed to de-
eide between landlord and tenant,
"What is your trade 2" said justice
of peace to a tenant in the Seventeenth
reimbursement, who pleaded inability
to pay his rent. Perfumer," was
the answer; land bad trade it is. ;
g Bad trade, indeed " exclaimed the
landlord; CHS pieces of soap cost hin
two sous, and he sells them for fifteen
He is well able to pay" "That's
false" roared the tenant; g the trade is
bad and who ever thought Of washing
under the commune?" The Judges
only remit rent in cases where it can be
shown chat the tenant was a heavy
loser through cessation OF business.