The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1871-11-16
WIT AND HUM0UR.

ri will be in tho fashion if I die for
|itw said the ambitious belle, whose
locks were not Of the ruling tint F.; and
|dye she did. -
A Chicago paper says, good deal
of our religion is simple starch.
That's the reason it washes oat Of
some folks so easily. .-"-'
A traveller reports that be has seen
plants in South America with leaves
thirty-four feet long. That leaves all
other foliage in the shade.
A tailor has just Invented a new.
fashioned coat; it has Mother scam
nor opening. To get into it you have
to crawl out of your trowers.
A rolling pin with which q loving
wife had knocked her husband seven
times came in as evidence in an Indi-
ana trial.
4 western gozerpor is accused Of
being so habitually absent minded at
the close of his dinner that he inva-
riaoly buffers his watermelon.
What is one mans loss ia another
mans gain, as the fellow said when
he saw q man walking before him
drop his pocketbook.
A Missouri girl set out to earn her
own living as telegraph operator
and in two years accumulated $780,
900. 1t was left her by rich uncle.
The difference between a bachelor
in love and married man in love is
said to be that the bachelor looks out
for No. l, and the married man for
No. g.. ~
"Mr post t.otfcc-man, want to pay
the postage on this letter." "Single or
double, miss ?" "Double, sir" with q
courtesy,) Il married last week."
Female pickpockets all wear the
convenient Arab shawls. They fold
their shawls like the Arabs, and ST.
lently steal away. ,
"A New Hampshire farmer describes
the hay crop by saying that "the
"grasshoppers all got lame in trying
TO jump from one blade of grass to
The severest thing said against
EYES daughters was by lady Mary
Worthy Montague 'eThe only salts
faction I have in being q woman is
that shall not be compelled to marry
ono Of my own sex.
Mre. Atkinson, of Providence, thus
sums up her three years experience OF
married life. The first year my hus::
band call me my dear the second
year Mrs. A. and tie third year,
old sorrel top This last could not
stand.",
"You say" said q Judge to Wit
ness, ..'shat the plmntiff resorts to an
iugeniops use of circumstancial evil
dence; state just exactly what you.
mean BY those, Well" said the
Wltnesa "myexact meaning is that he
fied9 ~ s. a6.sA. ~ - 81
Fbe Renforth crew had an enthu-
siastic reception on tn .ir return to
Newcastle, Kelly being put in cab
snd drawn up the streets. Achallenge
from his crew to row any four-oared
crew q race for E20O o side, within
five weees from the time Of the frat
deposit, has boon accepted by the
'Winship crew.
The Spaniards and Cubans arc
great smokers, and the use of tobac.
co is not confined to tho male sex
alone. There is on indcscribable
grace in the way dark eyed senorita
will roll her cigarette between her
dainty fnger-tips. She does it so
quickly that you can hardly follow
her motions, placing it between her
lips and asking for light in such a
bewildering manner that if you arc
at all susceptible, you are desperate
lyi in love at once. Everybody smokes
in Spain and on all occasions. Bull
fighters in the arena will coolly light
a cigarette while watching the mo-
fiOnS of their ! n fn ~ n ad ont .ponict