Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1871-03-09

as the man said when he tried to put his
boot on with kitten in it.
-Falsetto singing is not punishable
with imprisonments but it is very much
like nttering forged notes.
There is many a man whose
tongue might govern multitudes, if he
could only govern his tongue.
Why is divinity easier than the
profession of physic? Because-it is
easier to preach than to practise.
Pleading at the bar--a distressed,
abject looking fragment of once proud
and noble man, coaxing for rum.
The Barber Match Factory at
Middlebury Summit Co., pay for rev.
enue stamps $l4, 900 per annum.
jet black eyes are the attraction;
jet black hair, ditto; but jet black finger
nails should be strenuously avoided.
If the ladies lace their waists
somewhat tight, gentlemen often get
their whole bodies in that condition.
Mr.. S. T. Timmons has sold his
house and lot, and expects to move to
Pennsylvania.
Disciples will hold their Mite So
ciety at Squire Bells residence next
Friday evening.
Canton makes foreign auctioneers
pay license of $40 a day, in order to
protect their own business men.
Capital is the child. and not the
father of labor; and science is the
daughter and not the mother of intelli-
gence.
A Chicago woman says that she
don't get married for the reason that she
don't know whose husband she might
be marrying.
"A lady at Mt. Pleasant, Iowa,
swallowed q bottle of hair dye. Her
hair didn't dye, but she did, in about
twenty minutes.
The Immortal J. n. is said to have
pass over the Cleveland, Mt. Vernon
& Delaware Railway, which is "good an
til the cars commence running"
The inquiry as to where the pins
go has been satisfactorily answered.
The theory is that they go into the
ground and become terra-pins.
An impudent youngster came very
near getting his ears boxed the other
night at wedding party, for wishing
the bride "many happy returns of the
day"
"A rustic fellow recently entered
the dining-room of first-class hotel,
and upon being presented with bill of
fare, said he would seat his dinner be-
fore taking a read.''
MFR. William Campbell of Monroe
township,whose house was burned some
time since, has received about $400 from
his neighbors to assist him in making up
his loss.
On our first page will be found a
story for our young readers. We hope |
that every boy and girl will be sure and
read it carefully as it contains informa-
ton which will be interesting TO all,
both young and old.
"A lady wishes some one would in !
vent "legometers" to attach to mems pc
dals, so that wives may determine the
travelled by their husband when |
he "just steps down to the postoflice'' of
an evening.
----Revenge is momentary triumph, |
which is almost Immediately succeeded
by remorse; while forgiveness, which
is the noblest of revenges, entails per-
petual pleasure.
-" Courting is an irregular, active,
transitive verb, indicative mood, pres
ent tense, third person, singular number,
and agrees with-all the young girls in
every town and village in the |
State, if all our exchanges are to he re-
lied on. .-.
The liquor sellers in Wooster
have all been indicted for the unlawful
sale of liquors. Over two hundred
witnesses have been summoned. We
imagine they will have tough time of
it should all this pressure be brought to
bear ON them.
Young Green, in answer to the
advertisement: ''Correct likeness of
yourself sent, and your fortuae told,'
received looking glass, and was in
formed that he could tell his own for
tune by counting his money.
Some clever fellow has manufac-
tured handkerchiefs upon which map
of the scat of war in Europe is stamped.
They have proved an immense success,
everybody wishing to poke his nose into
the seat of conflict without personal
danger.
"A pleasant slip of the tongue was
made by lady, not long since, who was
the society of her lover, when
the door bell rang and the servant an
nounced "the doctor" "Tell him am
i'll and cannot see him." replied the
maiden.
Heary Factory Flannel 45 cents yard
lrorth SO cents, at Mayors. 1877