The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-09-28
FACT. FUN AND FANCY.

A match game-incepaiarism
A rooted sorrow-the toothache.
Ringd ves-newly married ladies.
Burning words-a dictionary in flames
To protect the chest-put lock on it,
The latest thing out-cats on the Lack
shed.
Who was Richard the Third before he
was himself again ?''
Why is pig $ tail like carving knife?
Because-it fourishes over the ham.
What kind of hair did Noahs dog
have? Dogs hair.
Are good looking women ever engaged
as plain cooks?
Common confidence Notwithstanding
sausages and buying eggs.
Contentment-to sit in the house ard
see other people stuck In the mud
Can parlor in which spirit rapping is
carried on be called a tap-room
A lobster never comes ashore without
great risk Of getting into hot water.
Why is ciergymau like locomotive
Because you look out for him when the
bell rings.
Two women are partners in tie law
business. They are sisters-ln-law.
If you are determined to exrel all
| comfort from your house be druukard,
and you will soon do it effectualy.
Why was Moses the wiekedest man
| that ever lived? Because he broke all
| the ten commandments at once.
A cynical lady. rather inclined to flirt,
says most men are like cold-very east
ly caught, but very difficult to get rid of.
A New Mexico attorney, 10 addressing
Ike jury, threatened to blow out the
brains OF any man who should intimate
that his client was guilty.
''What is that which sticketh closer
| than a bIother?' said Sunday school
teacher to one of his class. "A postage
stamp, by gum, - said the incorrgibie.
DIR. Russell, of Boston, says the reason
why Sunday is the hottest day of the
week is because people have nothing else
| to do but scrutinize the weather
In Wyoming, where the women vote,
| the bride furnishes the ring and the IL
cense, and the blushing bridegroom falls
into hyster cs.
A colored woman in Lynchburg, Va,
| fell out Of third story window, striking
the grownd head foremost. They are
filing up the hole. She wasn't injured
An Irish schoolmaster recently iuform-
| ed his pupils that the feminine gender
should be applied to all ships and vessels
ahoat, except mail steamers and Il en- Of
| war.
An exchange gives the farming can
didate for President, Horace Greedy, the
credit of having introduced a new and
most excellent variety Of shecp-a cross
| between little Mary Lamb and old Hy-
draulic's Ram
A wag said that once while on a jour
ney he was put into sleigh with dozen
or more passengers, not one of whom he
knew, but on turning a short corner the
sleigh upset and he found them all out
In a pool, across the road, in the coun-
ty OF Ilpperary, Ireland, is stuck up a
pole, having affixed to it board, with
this inscription: Take notice, that
Is impassable.'
First young lady-''So poor Susan is
dead p Second young lady-''Yes, poor
thing. She suffered terribly, didn't she?
And only think, she couldn't wear that
beautiful silk dress her mother gave her,
and its too short for her sister,
loo many persons are far less ashamed
OF having done wrong, than OF being
| found out. Are you one OF them?
| When an editor Of woman's rights
paper speaks Of ''the most delicious, de-
hghtful, deiectable enhancing and dis
tracing of innocent iudulgcncies, lie
means kiss.
If small girls arc waits. are large ones
WALTERS? Certainly" says sweet six
teen; ''at least the boys have halit Of
applying them to their lips in sealing
their VOWS"
The original Queue Klux-the Chi
| nese.