The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1871-11-23
What l Know About Farming.

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About Farming 'throug gh nine times, twice
backwards, aud once standing on my head
Have mastered it at last, and condensed
in milder shape what 1 know about run.
ming the thing into ground.
Young man, be farmer Young wo.
man, be farmer. Buy billiard table,
dust your clothes on the top of it, sprin-
kle on little dandruF, and go to work
Never think of beginning with less than
a field of green 6x10. Spread on your
earth all over the billiard table evenly, to
the depth of one.sixth of an inch, irrigate
with sponge aud sub-soil to the depth
of ten feet. If you have no billiard table,
buy piece of land if you can't get a
whole one, and 60 to work.
The best way is to stay about in the
shade, or hire out to hold chair down
in saloon, while the old man does the
work
If your farm is stony, pick out the
stones before they are ripe, and throw
them into the road. This will cause
others to McAdamize your streets.
Never think of plowing less than nine
feet if your mule will pull it. If you
have no team, wait until winter then
drill and blast. This will pulverize the
earth, elevate your laud, warm it, and
you will be able to report before your
slow neighbors.
Run your creeks up hill, and wash
sheep only in warm weather.
Pick geese on Sunday, and set the
eggs on fence posts, out of the way of
garter snakes.
When turning grindstones to educate
scythes, never turn the handle backward,
or the early grass will wilt before the
color comes to it.
In breaking colts, use club-it is bet
ter than crowbar. A sled stake will
answer.
Feed all hogs with cup custard, except
politicians.
Drive fence-po with the butt end
down, so the boys won't sit on the top of
them when arguing so long without COM
ing to the point.
Strawberries should be thrashed in
May, and straw saved for the bees.
Butterflies should never be MIXED or
churned the day they are stopped, lest the
young milk be spoiled. None but ice
cream cows should wear skatss-the heel
corks scratch the calves so.
Hydraulic rams should be butchered
before sunshine, and the pelt saved for
company.
Put swivel on your scythe, so it will
cut both ways.
Canry seed should be sowu in drills, so
that the young bids will browse early.
In planting string beans, never use
yarn, when once in the throat it is so hard
to come up. The same with artichokes
and pips in chickens.
Pitchforks should be sorted and packed
in sugar, the juice boiled and skinned
before running in the cokes.
Pumpkins should hang on trees till
frost comes, then should be picked, not
shook off and packed in sweet oil.
In stuf6og your sausages, do not stuff
too much into your stomach, or you'll
have feline in your category, and feel
that you have incurred something you
hate to meat.
Daudelions should be worked in pink
rather than in blue worsted-they will
wash better.
Ordinary shoes will do for oxen when
at farm work. Use slippers on them only
when going to church.
For succota,h the young corn and pota-
toes should be sliced and planted in the
same hills the year before. Then take
care not to injure the pods when the fruit
is ready to tassel out.
Old rags are better than glass to stop
holes in windows-the neighbors cannot
see in so well.
Beechnuts should never be eaten with
the skins on-they change the complexion
so.
Young bed quilts should never be
taken out of the ground in the salt till
the beds have been we'll spaded for the
next crop.
In Matching suspenders, care must be
taken that the old hen does not have her
nest near the gallows, or the young birds
| will be hard to catch.
Look out for protection Let the big
hogs cat the little ones-then there will
be more room in the pen, and less expense
for barrels But in sailing the pork
never use rock salt on a stony farm, but
feed them with fine salt from spoon, if
Butler is not in that vicinity. Use
EPSON salt exclusively for horses.
Never put spots on pigs backwards, ex
cept for army use.
Sweet corn is the best to corn beef,
though old cows used to the business will
eat the common red glaize if the hired
man does not yellow at them before they
get into the garden.
A st. Louis girl broke her neck while
attem pting to prevent a young man from