Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1871-07-06

AND VIRGINIA ADVERTISER,
For the Country,)
Published Regularly on TUESDAYS, THURS
DAYS and SATURDAYS, at Sir Dollars per-
AMMAN.
"CHARGE TO TIE KNIGHTS. "--There was Il
TOURNAMENT near Richmond, on the 4th OF
july. The 'Charge to the Knights was made
by DR.. Bagbv. The following is an extract
But, Tchivalry of Virginia-to pronounce
the word properly, you must put It before
the ''chiv' and utter preliminary snceze be-
fore the st. and you haveit exact y-but Tchlv-
alry of Virginia, us some tremendous poet has
remarked, 1'look not mournfully into the past
And when some charger more gifted than my
self tells YOU Sin the language Of the sublime,
immortal and beautiful Burke, the age OF
tchiyalry is over" and then adds talnt so,
in order TO cheer you up-wheu some gifted
charger tells you this, you up and tell hlm us
So" and that he is mis- slater. Aye Mr.. Sir
Knights, the age Of tchiyalry Is over, and you
may thank your stars that it is over. Aounds
where would YOU be this day, if it were not
"rcr9 Gadzooks how would you feel with
small iron DOT clapt close to your skull. Many
come up what would be the state of your sud
atory apparatus, if you had 200 lbs. OF skillet
lids distributed over your precious persons!
Sheath how YOUR nerves would tatten it you
knew that in ten minutes from this time the
chances we're that you would be knocked out OF
vour saddle. bumped out like the middle man
from taw, by a real spear, and landed fiat OF
your back, twenty feet off in the road? And
fen to one, the scoundrel who played you this
tchivaric little trick, would crown your sweet
heart, and she would smile upon him, and not
even DAY YOU the compliment OF going to your
funeral tomorrow.
Ave! Mr.. Knights and Sir Gentlemen, you
NAV congratulate yourselves that, although
this is the fourth Of July, you don t have to
yet up and put on ready-madc suit OF steel
ro out and straddlc IN ron-cad horse and put
out from home with every prospect OF dying
before sundown, because it is your duty to dare
every man to knock chip off your helmet who
saws his mistress is prettier than yours.
Yes, gentlemen this is a day of Spcnces, OF
Dcvlins, of VIM Ira Smiths, of linen d,lsters
butterfly neckties and shirts at SIS a dozen.
Let us be duly grateful therefor.
Having dispatched tchivalry. my next task
is to say somewhat about Beauty. The two,
Beauty and Tchivary, always so together
WHY they always went together and what they
went for, | never did know. Were all the wo-
men in the days Of tchivalry beautiful? Ger
tainy, they must have been beautiful, or else
the skillet-lidded gentlemen Of the period
would not have been willing to risk their lives
twenty times day for them. 1t is not SO
nowadays Far otherwise very much not so
AIack that should say it, but the truth Is
that some modern women are as ugly as the
inside of an ancient rot-eaten pineapple cheese,
and us high tempered early in the morning rs
IL cross cut saw. They have some temper lett
in the middle of the day Also some temper
remaining at night A homcly face, plenty
of temper and precious little money, no man,
however tchivalric, would willingly die for
more than once in twenty-tour hours.
But, next to thoroughbred horse, the
beautifuest thing in the world is undoubtedly
what do YOU suppose? \ woman? Oh no. A
young woman? Not exactly. A wife? A
good wife is loveliness itself, but all wives are
not good. A widow, then? Well yes,
pretty widow is heap prettler than mighty
pretty. But the beautifullest thing in this
world, beyond all shadow Of comparison, Is
bride And for the sake of q bride l think any
valiant man in thin suit of clothes, all paid
for, will be willing, even on the fourth OF July,
to ride at an iron ring twice as heavy and four
times as big as that thing dangling yonder:--
And it is your bounden duty, as tchivalrc Sir
Knights, to make every one of the young ladies'
here present-not one of whom Is ugly-all the
ugly and bad-tempered women have gone on to
Chicago to make L living by getting divorces
it is your bounden duty, l say, to make each
young lady who now gazes on your manly,
dewy and tchivalric forms, the beautifullest
thing in the world-a bride-and so give her
the chance of becoming the next 5eautltullest
thing in the world-a widow.
Therefore, Sir Knights, aud gentlemen, lnoW
most earnestly charge YOU to 90 your Level
best. Proceed. Set sail. Unship you royal
mizzen cat-heads haul aft your spanker bow
spirits, hoist your foretopsI hatchways, go it
and may the devil take the man that don't take
the ring
THE EXPENSES OF MATRIMONIAL very
sensible communication in the Washington Re-
publican on the subject of the social evil,
suggests that one cause of its increase Is that
''the expenses of wife, her toilet and her
domestic appointments place matrlmony beyond
the reach Of great numbers OF young men.
The writer appeals to those ladies who lead
and mould society to take action in the reform
of female dress The writer says
by concerted action they can, if they have
the WILL and will make the effort, do much to
shape female public opinion and tastes and IN
itiatc, measures to reform fashionable dress. =
| maintain the broad ground that the fashions
for expensive dress, though luxury in which
the wealthier classes have a legal right to IN
dulge, is the principal and primary modern
cause of the fall of their sisters.
Il am ofopinion that if these lady reformerS,
as suggested, whose characters would enable
them to dress inexpensively without detractlon
20 themselves in any respect, would systematl,,
cally influence their associates to simplify and