The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-05-12
THE STOLEN WATCH.

eagle now spreads his wings, a regi.
ment of royal troops were quartered
upon the good people of the then
comparatively Insignificant town OF
New York. ss6
On one of the main streets were n
number of houses built precisely
alike, and in one of them was quar-
tered bugler who was noted for his
fondness of the social glass--tae
glass which has beguiling sepent
coiled up ut tho bottom, with deadly
fangs and things, ready to spring at
us unawares, which accounts for the
snakes in fellows boots when he
is troubled with q touch OF the jim
jams. But be that rs it may, our
bugler rather liked it, and he let the
serpent beguile him to such an extent
that he often confounded night with
day.
One night the bugler, with full
cargo of benzine aboard nnd his bu-
gle under his arm, came zigzagsn.S =
home from the hostelry where he had
been carousing with q number Of his
boon companions; and rs he was
way up in balloon, it is nota matter
of surprise that he mistook the house
and entered the wrong one. As the
doors were unlocked, and the interi-
or of the houses were as like rs a
parsons weekly sermon, he found no
difficulty in gaining what he thought
to be his room; but when he opened
the door, drunk as he was, he stared
with astonishment, for the apartment
was elegantly furnished, with many
articles appertaining to lady lying
around.
The fact was that the house was
the residence of a certain Mr.. Lumm,
whose daughter Jernsha, after pa
tiently waiting till she was past
thirty for matrimonial offer, had at
last found young man who did the
handsome thing, and that very day
had entered the state of conHubial
bliss, and the room in question was
their bridal chamber.
The bewildered bugler sat down
in a chair. totally ut loss as to his
whereabouts.
"Sabers and fintlocksl" he NUT
tered, "But am in devil OF fix /.
Ii the General of these headquarters
comes and finds spy in his camp,
III be bayonetted without even the
consolation of a drumhead court
martial! And l tell you what, old
boy, you'd better sneak off before
you're discovcredr'
In pursuance of this resolution, he
got up when he heard light steps
mounting the stairs leading to the
room In which he found himself. ~
Quick rs fash he lodged under the
bed and behind the valance, which
screened him securely from observa-
ton.
The valance being of thin white
muslin, offered no obstruction to his
vision, and he could easily sec every
thing that took place.
A lady now entered the room,
who, in blissful ignorance of the
prying eyes under the bed, began
quietly to make preparations for re-
firing to rest. While she was thus
employed, her husband, more than
three sheets in the wind on his wed.
ding day, also entered the room,
and, after encasing his feet in a pair
of slippers, he sat down in an easy
chair, and began furtively to watch
the movements of his wife, who went
through some rather mysterious man.
euvers. First she took O couple oil
sets of false teeth oot of her mouth
then she took off her splendid curls
which baby had so loved to fondle
from her mead, which now presented
the appearance of worn-out scrub
bing bush, aud, after hauling two
large wads of cotton ont of her bo
som, was essnying to take the stuff.
ing out of her legs also, when hel
.nsband, who had been watching hel
with eyes almost goggling out of hi
head. exclaimed in horror -stricker
voice:
"For Gods sake stop, Jurshal--
What in thunder are you about
Soon there won't be anything left o
you but heap of rubbish! Heaven
and earth, who'd think that I'd eve
come to see the woman of my bones
You have deceived me, Jerush;
Lumm, you withered, dried up olt
Jezebeli You're not at all like tn,
woman I loved. ! won't stand it'll
| I'll"
| But here his feelings overpowere.
him. and casting vengeful look o
fury upon his hapless spouse, b
| kicked all her fxings over the floor
Having relieved his feelings in thi
manner, and finding his breath again
he ejaculated:
MAY Satan fy away with me if
live with such a wretched apolog
for wife as you are. You're chica
merry, fraud and imposition combined
I'll die first! I've lost all faith i
human nature; and now blow you
horn, Gabrieli for ] have witnesse
lthe destruction of Jerusha Lumm
The bugler, who had been might
, lily entertained in the meantime
thought the invocation of the Angs
Gabriel first-rate chance for effec
placing his bugle to his lips, b
ave blast that almost raised th
oof off the house.
With shrek of terror, the vii
fed down stairs, followed by hf
husband, who, thinking the old bo
was after him. went down six steI
at a time.
I The coast thus being clear. the bl
gler emerged from his Kidding plac'
and seeing gold repeater on ii
table, he easily put 1t in his pocke
land quietly walked down stairs an
! out of the house, the inmates bein