davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

INDIANA DIvoRCEs.- Baker, of
Indiana, in his recent message, dweIls at
length and with great severity, upon the tacll
ity with which citizens of other States, after
pretended residence in Indiana, obtain divorces,
and then return to their homes from which
they fled for that very purpose. The saws un-
der which such schemes can be carried out, he
says are reproach to the civilization OF the
age, and are in violation of the comfy of sis
ter States. The Governor recommends that
the clause of the statue which authorizes di
vorces for any cause that the Court may deem
sufficient should be repealed, and that the
clause making cruel treatment good cause OF
divorce should be so amended a. to require the
treatment to be cruel and inhuman or cruel aud
barbarous. He also recommends certain chan
gcs in the practice in divorce cases, which
would render impossible the c0llusiye or fraud.
ulent separation of husband and wifi, and
says that with such amendments Indiana di
vnrces would soon cease to be advertised i'll the
Atlantic cities as marketable commodities.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Essay ON TOBACCO BY A SMALL Boy
Tobacco. grows something like cabbages; but
| never saw none Of it boiled, although l have
eaten boiled cabbage and vinegar on it, and |
have heard some men say that segars that
were given to them on election day for nothing
were cabbage leaves. Tobacco stores are
usually kept by wooden Injuns, who stand at
the door and try to TOOL little boys by Offering
them bunch of segars which is glued into
the Injun's hands and is made Of wood also.
Hogs do not like tobacco neither do |. To
bacco was invented by man named Walter
Raleigh When the people first saw him
smoking they thought he was a steamboat,
and as they had never seen steamboat, they
were frightened My sister Nancy is girl
don't know whether she likes tobacco or not.
There is young man named Leroy. lie was
standing on the steps one night, and he had a
segar in his mouth, and he said he didh't
know as she would like it, and She said, = Le
roy, the perfume is agreeable But ncx
morning, when big brother Tom lighted hi
pipe, Nancy said, Get out of the house, yOl
herrid creature, the suell of tobacco make
me sick" Snuff is Injun meal made out o
tobacco took little snuff once, and the1
| Sneczcd.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Cool ALL ARoUND.-A California paper
tells the following story The house Of Charles
Lines was entered by burglar about two
O clock in the morning. The fellow made so
much noise that Mrs. Lines was awakened
She reused her husband and informed him
that some one was in the room. After listen
ing a moment and hearing no unusual noise,
he turned over and lighted the gas to quiet
his wife's fears, and then settled himself tor
another snooze. Mrs. Lines, feeling positive
that she had heard some one in the room,
crawled cautiously down and peered over the
! fuotboard There she saw the burglar crouch
ed upon his hands and knees Unlike mos
women, she did not announce the discovery by
a series of little screams but she crawled back
and whispered in her husbands ) ear the un
welcome intelligence, "There is a great biz
robber right down behind the footboard. Mr.
Lines crawled down to take peep himself
Sure enough, there the fellow was, doubled vi
into as small space as.possible, aDxiou>y wait
ing for the light to be extinguished so that h
} might continue his researches. Mr.. Line
! seized him by the hair and was on the poln
of giving him a severe talking to and the
kicking him down stairs, when the burgla
presented revolver, with his compliments
and told him he could continue to live, Pre-
yided he kept quiet and behaved himself. MI
Lines acnuesced, and the foiled rutian hastll
y left the premises. He was well dressed, an
from the fair view that Mr.. Lines Rad he think
|. he will be able to identify him if they shoul
= chance to meet again, which he does not Cal
n to do if it makes no particular difference
- the robber.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

They mix things considerably in China. A
man tailor may be seen wo, king diligently at
a lady 5 dress for about six cents day, and
a washerman will wash and iron your clothes at
81 a hundred while boatmaus wife may be
seen tugging at the oar or handling the sails
like man, often, too, with baby on her
shoulders.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

In Scott county, Ky, on Wednesday, a. par.
ty of armed men attacted a party Of colored
men and killed three of them. Later in the
day they had fight with a party of armed
coiored men, in which three of the latter and
one of the masked men were killed. The col
orod people are reported to be focking into
Frankiord for safety.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

The New York Nail says: MANY of our
fashionable young ladies have adopted nick
names, which they use on their cards, peter
ring to lie known by them, and to let their
proper names be rgotten, 1t strikes for
eigner as rather strange to see cards bearing
such names as Grrty' this, Toody' that, or
PinkN' so and so.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

An American circus company, with twenty
six horse chariot. made public parade In
Florence, Italy, few weeks ago, when the
streets were thronged as for a holiday, and as
the abrupt angle of some narrow, ancient pas
sage was skillfully turned, the crowd gave
their applause as heartily as if to some sue
cessful hero returning from fight.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

THE Presidents JOKE ON SENATOR SUM-
NER-Ihe Washington correspondent of the
Philadelphia Star says that the other day
President Grant got off good thing on Sena-
tor Sumner Senator Conkling was talking to
the President about Sumner, and said, among
other things, that he tSumner) did not believe
IN the Bible OF course he does not, as be
didn't t write it." replied Grant.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

LAND ENoUGH There are in the eleven Ter
rlorc of the United ST ties, inc uding Alaska,
nearly one thousand million acres Of land,
which owing to the sparSeness of population,
900, 600 who inhabit the States were digused
through this lana ocean, they would be almost
"a few ami far between as the sails which, ac-
cordiug to popular idea, whiten every sea.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

An amusing story is told of Joe Jefferson,
who could not get check cashed at a Phila-
delpha bank because no one ceuld identify
him At last bright idea struck him, and
turning to the teller he said in the well-known
tones of Rip Van Winkle, :" If my little dog
pathetic little speech brought recognition, and
the check was paid.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

An enterprising girl of twenty, living near
Alton. Illinois. has contracted with her father
to dig him well, at seventy-fve cents foot.
1t is reported that she was twenty feet under
ground at last accounts, and no less than three
offers of marriage from delighted young farm
ers had gone down that hole since it was COM
mpncpA
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

A ToUCHING INCIDENT. The world is full
Of mournlul incidents. How little DO we know
of the poignant sorrow myriads of our fellow
creatures are compelled to suffer. The follow
ing touching event event we take from the
Boston Journal:
An express man upon reaching his office
early one cold morning in January, observed
on the sidewalk. long, heavy box; which his
practiced eye at once identified as containing a
corpse. Upon the end of the box shivering
with cold, sat little hslf-clad boy, about sew
en- or eight years of age. Addressing him
kindly, he said:
:" My lad, don't sit there, you will freeze
come in and sit by the stove"
Bursting into tears the little fellow replied
No, | can't come my mother is in this boz
aud promised her that | would not leave hel
until we got home.
Deeply affected with the touching devotion
of his brave little fellow, he finally succeeded
| in convincing him Of the entire safety OF hi
precious charge, and taking him to neighbOr
ing restaurant, gave him a warm breakfast, an,
then learned the particulars of his story. Hi
f.ther died about year previously, IN remot
village in Minnesota, leaving his mother /
poor health and nearly destitute. She died bu
a few days before the boy $ sad journey, chars
ing the little hero with the duty of convey
ing the remains to her friends in distaI
State, and furnishing him with (all she had)
sum of money barely sufficient to carry thel
} both by freight cars TO their destination. III
little fellow had actually ridden night and da
in freight car with his melancholy trust, nev,
for moment lOosing sight OF it.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Senator Abbott, of North Carolina, contests
the election OF Ex-Governor Vance as his sue
cessor, ON the ground that all the votes for
him having been cast for a person who was
imeliglhlc, they were absolutely void. There
fore. il is argued that Abbott had majority
of the legal votes cast by the Legislature.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Senator Wilson, of Massachusetts,, delivered
an address to the Southern Republican Asso.
ciation, in Washington, last week, which may
be called the first gun in the campaign of 1872.
Among other things he said, THAT this Ad.
ministration had some faults, but with all its
faults it was the best Administration ever in
mower since the term of John Quincy Adams, -
and If the Indian policy adopted by the Pres
dent be carried out it would be enough to im
mortalize him.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

THE METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH.-The
official statistical returns made by the sew
eral annual Conferences at their sessions
held during the current year, have been put
in type, and will soon be issued from the Book
Concern in a large octave volume of over 300
pages. From the proof-sheets We compile the
Interesting summaries which we give below.
The figures show year of note worthy pros
perity Let Us be profoundly grateful to Him
whose servants we are, whose bencdiclion,
have thus far crowned our laborS, and who
now calls to renewed conservation and zeal il
His work. The general sunni aries stated il
the bretest form, are as follows:
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Mrs. Slower, the daughter of Andrew John
son, is now Mrs. Brown, the wife Of country
>torekeeper in GreenviIle, Tenn. Mr.. Brown
is plain and elderly y-looking gentleman, we'll
to do in the world through his dealings in dry
goods, groceries and notions. Mr.. JOhnson's
only living son, a youth seventeen or eighteen
years of age, is clerk in Mr.. Brown store.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

A man in Fort Wayne, Indiana, lost his
WIFE and had stone erected over her grave;
He married second wife, aud when she died
he had the gravestone split, aud 1t then serv-
ed Tor the two departed. lie proposed 10 tne
third recently, and the lady quantity remarked,
g | do not believe that stone will split again.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18
Letter Writing.

One of the most imprudcnt things a man
can do is to put his opinion Of other people In
the form of familiar letters. TO say nothing
Of the more than possibility that the writer
may be deceived, or misiuformed, and conse-
Quently wish his opinion had never been thus
recorded and placed out of his reach, letters
often return to plague the writer Because
one is dis >pleaSed with a mans 5 acts or charac
ter to-day, he ought not to wish to make him
his enemy Tomorrow. Neither would one
care, aside, from any such selfish cOn>iderI
tionS to perpetrate beyond recall his disap
proval Of any PERSON. The letters which are
frequently brought to light by biogra piers, and
put into print, immOrtaiiZe many things which
the inventor would have willingly let die. The
world may be amused, but is usually none the
better for these pO>thumouS disclosures.
Especially unwl>e are gratutOus criticisms
upon men and things-eSpeclaliy upon men.
A needless tongne is bad enough, but care
less pen isa great deal worse. There is a great
temptation to write what one knows will be
eagerly read; and many of the men who can
write at all can write better than they can talk
and so can many women. A thing writer
looks to the author even better than it sounds
and is usually more ftly expressed than /
merely spoken Good letters are delightful
reading and We join in the regret that lette
writing as an accomplishment is rather upOr
the decline But good letter writing does no
include personal remarks, malicious and untrue
or even exaggerated, except of course sue
r pleasant exaqgeration as even the subject woul
Lr amused at. Unque>tionably there ariS
2 cases in which unpleasant truths must be writ
ten for necessary and justiGcable purpos,
$ Such topics should be approached only whe
+ absolutely necessary; no Superfiuous WORD
d should be employed and no tinge of maliC
Is should color the ink. The frequency wit
l,Nta 70
IN justice, aud in political, social, literary al
ii other controversies, is an illustration Of the
g Importance, and warning against all carele
y tampering with the instrument Mightier thu
nt the sword, and as powerful for mischief as f
a good.-Ledger.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

A school girl was recently asked at an sx-
animation, 6y the gentleman, to tell him what
Adam lost by his fall and when pressed, she
replied: II suppose 1t was his hat.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

The great iron railroad bridge across the
ing the Baltimore and Ohio and Marietta and
Cincinnati railroads. was finished on Saturday,
when trains began to pass over it, making the
time from Baltimore to Cincinnati % hours
The bridge, which was built by the Baltimore
and Ohio Company, is 90 feet above low water
mark, over 1000 feet long, aud cost over ST.
600 600
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18
WHOLE NO. $50

At church Of color" about twenty miles
from Albany, the other evening, the minister
noticed number Of persons, both white and
colored, standing upon the seats during service,
and called out in loud voice: Get down
off dem seats, both white man and color;
care no more tor one dan de odder" Imagine
the pious minister's surprise on hearing the
congregation suddenly commence singing in
short metre:
Git down off dem seats,
Botf white man aud color;
l cares no more for one man
Than does for de odder.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Big sister: "Oh, papa, must go to hear
Nilsson. You know l am SO fond OF music. |"
Juvenile brother triumphantly: Then why
don't you let me play on my drum?
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

The recent action of the New York Democ-
racy in Withdrawing the name Of Governor
Hoffman, of that State, from the next Presi-
dental contest virtually determines that their
candidate will come from the West, and the
action of the New York Leader, the organ of
Bill Tweed and Tamm!any, in naming ex Sen
view of the fact that New York voted solidly
great number of times for him in the New
York convention in 1885, would justify the
prophecy that he will be their next candidate,
nous verrons.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Mark Twain says: "Ihdre seen slower
people than | am-and more deliberate people
than am-and even quieter, and more ilst-
less and lnzier people than am. But they
were dead"
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

They say the feas are bad in California, and
that ladies at balls carry little ivory-tipped
instrument called scratcher." No wonder
everybody itches so to 60 to California.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

The figures arc exclusive Of the statistics Of
our foreign mission in China, Bulgaria and
south America, the official returns from which
have not yet reached us.-From the Chrstion
AdrOcQtc
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Tn the New York Legislature bill has been
introduced giving women the same rights to
property as men, releasing husbands from any
liability for the wife : debts, making married
women liable to suit like men, &c.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

FREAK OF AN INSANE MAN.-Among the
inmates Of the Lunatic Asylum on BIackwefs 5
Island, is one Maxsey, whose erratic perfor
mances have for years formed topic for town
gossip. His best known achievement was the
erection of fort on the north end of the Island,
by which he proposed to protect the city from
the approach of hostile feet. To the cree
ton of this work, designed at first as a trading
post, he has applied himself with patient in
dustry for eighteen years. The structure was
composed wholly of pieces of drift wood aud
stolen brick, put together by pieces. 1t was
about twenty feet long ly twelve wide, and
mounted four wooden guns. Within were a
rude table made of drtt-wood, some chairs, a
bunk, stove, and few other articles. The
value of the work, the lunatic estimated at
several millions of dollars But now all his
millions have shrivelled into ashes One day
the fort unaccountaby took fire and in a short
time was entirely consumed The effect o
this disaster upon Maxsey was Of course pro
digious. He attributed it all to the emissara,
OF an unknown enemy, and says he will no
rest until he has discovered the offender. Sc
riousy, the whole story OF the construction
design and extinction Of this work is one Of tht
most remarkable in connection with the record
of modern lunacy, and affords proof tina
even in its ruins the human mind has q won
derful majesty and power.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

" A Clergyman offers up prayers for the Legis.
lature of his State, which he says, is disposed
10 reneal even the Ten Commandments.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18
P0etrY.
HAPPY WOMEN.

Impatient women, as you wait
In cheerful homes tonight, to hear
1he sound of steps, that soon OF late,
Shall come as music to your ear.
Forget yourselves little while.
And think in pity of the pain
OF women who will never smile
T0 hear a coming step again.
With babes that in their cradle sleep
Or cling to you in perfect trust.
ThiRk of the mothers LETT to weep,
Their babies lying in the dust.
And when the step you wait for comes,
And all your world is iull of light,
0, women, safe in happy homes,
Pray for lonely souls tonight.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

When a chicken has the toothache, what
does itexpect? That chicken will by-and-
by come to pullet
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18
A Novel Marriage Complication.

Some recent developments of matrimonial
inddeljties are now occupying considerable at,
tentiOn in the usually quiet village of Hastings
upOn-Il 1t appears that some time dur
ing the year 1867 Mrs. EastcrbrOok, res
pcctable widow, earning comfortable mainte
nance by keeping store, attracted the notice
Of Mr.. VIM. Henry Wright, a weIl-to-dO far
mer living in the neighhorhOod, a wdower
with large family Of children, who finally
proposed marriage to Mrs. EasterhlOok. She.
however, declined assuming the responsible
charge Of such large family unless MIR. Wright
would not only make her Mrs. Wright but
also all right in a pecuniary point Of view hy
| settling upon her certain amount of property
before the hymencal knot was tied. To meet
her views on that point, he gave her his note
! Tor $1,000, payable six months after date. A
| short time after marriage Mrs Wright found
| their domestic relations unsatisfactory, and
concluded to return to her parental roof, and
about the same time discovered that the note
given heI by her husband was missing, and sus-
pected that her husband had managed to get
possession of it. At the expiration of the six
months Mrs. Wright sued her hushrnd for the
amount OF the note given, and although heI
husband denied, in the most 30 itive manner
that he had ever given his wife any such ac
knOWled cement of Indebtedness or obligation
the latter produced witnesses who had seeI
the note, knew it to he the hand writing o
Mr.. Wright, one of whom affixed the revenue
stamp to the document at the time, aud a yer
dict was rendered in favor of the wife, VIII
, had Just aSccitained that her husband had oh
, tanned a divorce from her by means Of allege
: fraudulent affidavitS Mrs. Wright has EN-
poyed counsel to have the proceedings of thi
divorce case thoroughly ventilated and this de
r cree Of divorce set aside.-AeW York paper.
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18

Suitable inscription for boatman's race
nrize ''The nobcst Row-man Of them all. ="
Smyrna times., 1871-01-18
A Chance for the Girls.

A lady in Green Bay, Wis, says Sacra-
mento (Cal correspondent, recently gave a
party at her house, at which were present
eighteen babies, most of them with their moth
erS, and no less than sixteen baby carriages
were standing in the yard at one time.
How Southern California sighs regretfully
over such paragraph. Instead of sixteen
baby carriages In )ne yard, what do you think
OF fourteen horses tied to the horseback before
the door of one marriageble maiden? Why
do not the rancherS down South import their
wives, as the Wehfeet have done7
AprOpOs of these matters, a little story
which occurred in my own experience. | was
iOurneying across the continent atGot, one day,
and when l was approaching Los Angeles
came to house made of rough boards, st nd
ing absolutely alone in the vast clover plains.
There was the aforementioned number OF
horses hitchcd before the door, and thought
from the remarkable lrgutrious countcnances
of the people standing about, that there must
be funeral in progress But when went in
to procure a drink of water | asked the boy,
and he told me, with much giggling and duck
ing of his head into his shoulders that they
were all come counting his sister! This piqued
my curiosity at once, and determined, if pos
sble, to get glimpse of a maiden who could
exercise such potent attraction.
There were only two rooms in the house
with an entry way between, so that only one
visitor at time could see his Penelope The
rest formed themselves into melancholy row
or queue, waiting to take their turns in peep
ing through the crack of the door, At on,
end of this queue | stationed myself, and
soon found that, as soon as they looked, mos
of them came back to their turn again. Their
was one poor fellow whose distress was pitiabe
He could apply only one eye to the crack, an
he kept lodging backward and forward, righ
and left, as if to plead:
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And will pledge with mine"
or at least one of them. But presently bri
liant suggestion seized him. He turned hi
head to one side and ranged both his eyes o
the crack at once but this gave him such a
overwhelming impression Of the fair one
, charms that he sighed and dropped tear.
At last, when | was pretty near the goa
my ncighbOr next in the rear began to suspe
| there was foul play, and scrutinized me Car
2 fully from head to foot, evidently not reli>hir
) the prospect OF having his fourteenth chanc
y reduced to fifteenth. Then said he to me
"ScuSe me, stranger are you a reside
e anywhere roun' these parts
il | hare not pre-empted any GOvernme
e land yet, but If that crack in that door pre-
poets well, a. the miners say, intend to tai
l. up quarter section at once, | answered.
"Well now, stranger, less you've took
t, some land already rUun' hyar you amt got
& right peepin' ia Il at ar crack, interrupt
!. actOOl settlers
d The justice Of this view was not to be CO
r troverted; nevertheless | persevered. I
ID lady was a very pretty Texas damsel, with Q
b, of those pearly white puffy faces which 10
e. as though they would collapse if kissed
ID eagerly, and which are wrinkly at forty five