Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-10-12
Miscellaneous.
te trims mn ifs own heels.

Haste trips up its own heels.
-Ou, greatest glory is not in never
falling, but rising every time we fall.
"A New Orleans criminal, on being
sentenced to be hanged, burst into ut OF
laughter.
"A tombstone in q cemetery at Dux-
bury, Mass, is inscribed: "Chisel cannot
help her any"
"A gent lately caught cold by kissing
a lady's snowy brow. Served him right.
Women should never be lawyers;
they would constantly have writs OF at
tachments."
Poor men seek meat for their stom-
schs, rich men seek stomachs for their
meat
We ought not to Judge of mems mer-
It's by their qualifications, but BY the use
they make Of them.
"A good man provides for his children.
A policy in the Washington Life is one
way TO do it.
-"Umberellers fxt, and parosols mad
as good as knu," has been commenced on
East Second street, Oswego, N. 7.
Silver coffin trimmings are hired out
for private funerals in Lewiston, Maine, to
be returned after the ceremony.
The Connecticut tobacco crop being
SO large, the Boston Post hopes for re-
duction in the price of 'real Havanas."
If no man can add an inch to his
stature, it is always easy to make tall
man short. Just ask him to lend you five
dollars.
A Detroit jeweler exhibits, among
other fancy goods in his show window,
parasol with perfect clock in the han
die.
The Buffalo Society of Natural Sci
ences has lately received in good condi-
ton, from Germany, a valuable museum
Of the birds Of Europe. There are 622
specimens.
"A market woman of Paterson, N. j.,
has been arrested for selling roll butter,
the interior of which, to within half an
inch Of the surface, was filed with wagon
grease.
The Mutual Life Insurance Company,
Of Chicago, is favorite with the insuring
public. 1t is one Of the few companies
which showed a good increase Of business
during the past year.
"A Chicago Alderman, who went out
to Sioux City for few days sport, made
very good beginning by putting three
charges into his gun and bringing himself
down at the first fire.
French Swans have decided that the
excessive use of brandy produces tremors
and delirium, while absinthe superinduces
epilepsy. Drinkers who pay their money
are thus enabled to take their choice of
diseases.
In Hartford, lately, man who had
entered crowded street-car, handed a
man near him fifty cent. scrip to pass to
the driver, whereupon the individual
coolly pocketed it, and profusely, in beg
CARS style, re urned thanks for the gift
The owner Of the scrip was so much
overcome by this audacity that he allowed
the fellow to keep it.
The San Francisco Alta says: 1.-THE
great progress that has been made in labor
saving machinery is we'll illustrated by the
fact that no less than seventy farmers have
been cut to pieces by mowing-machines
this season in Illinois. 1t would have taken
the most expert wood chopper long time
| to have done this with the old fashioned
AK"
An old lady put on heFOspecs, and
| taking up a village newspaper, the first
thing that carght her eyes was the head
ing of political article, which read, al.
linois moving" BLESS my soul" said
the old dame, 81 hope it won't move on
my son Williams farm, on the border of
Indiana"
"A family of BOYS in Tennessee, who
are all provided with guns and get their
| wi, hu ht1n t1yyr1 oil
| their percussion caps and couldn't get
any more But they were out of meat,
| and something must be done, so they
tried match. heads and found them to an
swer every purpose, which is suggestion
for inventors.
One J. L. Smith, arrested the other
| day in New Orleans on charge of having
commits a murder at Carrollton, Ga,
| fifteen years ago, said he had had mum
Der of unpleasant difficulties in his life,
but that he could not remember whsth.r
ne had killed man at that place at that
time If the police would give him few
| days for reflection, he added that he would
try to refresh his memory, and report &C
cordingly.
"A laughable incident took place in
the parlor of the Union Hotel at Saratoga.
Two c0untrJmen were gaping around the
room, when a lady approached wearing
fashionable trail. One of the party lodged
t, but the other walked straight across it,
and on finding out his error apologized
with "Ibeg your pardon, madam; l
thought you had passed some time ago."
"A gen lemsn who was present at the
wedding Of Mr.. Job Wall and Mary Best.
took it upon himself to write thereupon
the following lines
Job. wanting partner, thought he'd be blessed
IT, Of all won N kind he selected the Best:
For said he, of all evils that compass the globe.
A bad wife would mot try the patience OF job
The Best, then, he chose, and made bone of his
hone,
Though twas clear to his friends she'd be Best left
alone;
For though Best of her sex, she's the weakest Of
all,
II tits true that the weakest must 90 to the Wall,