The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-12-12

of every description"
Ten poor men can sleep TRANQUILITY
on a mat; but two kings are not able
to live at peace in quarter of the
world.
AT receot burglars convention in
Vermont, it was resolved that it was
"expedient" 10 use chloroform on VIC
tins.
What is the difference between far.
mer and a bottle Of whiskey? One
husbands the corn, and the other corns
the hushan /.
A ioolin high station is ike man
on the top of high mountain, every
thing appears small to him, and he APP
pears small to every body
A tailor has Just invented new
fashioned coat; it has neither seam nor
opening. To get into it you have to
crawl out of yonr trowsers.
A widow has remarked, that when
Il man loses his wife, it is his first duty.
to cry over the loss-then it becomes
a habit, and at last a pleasure.
Chicago is itself again. The first
divorce since the fire has been record
ed, and the parties name is Chafiec.s
The great fire didn't burn up that
chat, Ell?
A victim of Greeley's handwriting
says: If Horace had written that in-
scriptinn on the wall in Babylon,
Belshazzar would have been a good
deal more scared than be was"
An old edition of Morse's geography
says, "Albany has four hundred dwell
ing houses, and two thousand four
hundred inhabitants, all standing with
their gable ends to the street"
A friend, travelling in Florida, says
of the mosquitoes: Let man 60
to sleep with his head in cast iron
kettle, and their bills will make a wa
tering pot of it before morning.
A person being asked what q ghost
said to him, which he pretended to
have seen, replied, "How should I
know what he sad? am not skilled
in any of the dead languages.
Josh Billings say that when you
commence courting expedition, it is
the best way to court the girls mother
! little in the start, as she knLws all
about it, and will know what you are
good for. @
An Irshman meeting another asked
him what had become of Patrick
O'Murphy. "Arrah, now, my dear
honey" answered he, "Patty was cons
demned to be hanged, but he saved his
life by dying in prison! "
The Boston Post says that man in
Troy left boarding house just because
"A rat bit off his ear. When people get
to be that particular about trifes, they
ought to quit boarding and go to keep
ing house.
Victoria Woodbulrs parents at one
time kept tavern in Snyder county.
Her motter was u Rnsanna Hummel,
who in 1888 married Yankee. Vic.
toria was born in Ohio. He. last god.
father was named Theodnre Pitton.
A little while ago Kansas young
lady was thrown from a carriage, had
her collar bone broken, suffered the
process of having it set and reset seve-
raj times, aud had the nerve to stand
up and be married week after the ac
cidcnt. q
They have some enterprising pub
fishers up at Berlin, Wisconsin,. One
day it was discovered that shoe. black
had the itch, and in less than twenty
minutes every citizen was duly warn
ed by an extra, gratuitously distribut.
ed.
A Chicago man gave his wifi, of two
weeks standing, $3.50 for dress but
upon seeing her arrayel in the tantas'
tic fashion of the season he was seized
with alarm, aud at once commenced
suit for divorce, on the ground that she
was a social evil,
Ten dollars is the largest fee given.
to Boston minister for performing
he marriage ceremony even at the
uost "swell" weddings. Nine times in
en-, after the honeymoon, the happy
couple are unanimously of the opinion
that the price is more than enough.
An ill-tempered Western father for
IDLY removed his daughter from u
ireus because while there, she allowed
Young lawyer to put his arm around
ler neck and comb her gol len locks
With her fingers. Could severity so
urther?
A young lady in Wyoming, Va,
whose aged parents were worth quar-
er of a million before the war, but
we're left by it in adversely, has sup
mrted theIn for the last three years by
working in the fields hy the day, and
has so much pride wifhal, that she will
not accept cent Of charity,
A man recently attempted suicide
in Omaha by washing his face. 1t
didn't work satiiaetOrily, and then he
twisted the towel around his neck and
hung himself up to dry. That was
likely TO be more successful, but some
unsvmpathetie bystander took him