Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1871-01-12
THE RUTLAND HERALD
SATURDAY, JANUARY z, 1871.
The Amenities of Life.

and dignity not only the social out the
i,telIeotusl character. What polish is to
the diamond, manner is to the individual.
1t hightens the value and the charm.
One of easy manner, always quiet, grace
full and self possessed, always bland, cour-
teous and captivating, cannot fail to
secure friends and make favorable i'm
preston. What indeed is more delight
full in youth than manner which at once
acknowledges respect for age, indicates
modesty and discretion, and at the same
time ia free from the awkward and I'M
couth air which too often defaces and DIS
figures A polished manner Is essenuai
to every true gentleman. lie must not
only understand and be able to govern
himself, but he must appreciate the feel
ings. the circumstances and the position
Of others. 1t il, moreover, quite an easy
task to be affable and courteous, when
once the habit is permitted to grow, and
thus become identified with character.
Manner should be one of the leading
features in modern education. 1t is the
outward expression of the mind, not
merely of its knowledge or strength OF
reason, but of the degree to which it has
been softened and humanized by culture.
and of the point which it occupies in the
scale between barbarism and perfect civil
izAtion. How often are we carried away
by the force of first impressions? A
single look will sometimes linger in the
soul for years. We may have heard OF
an individual again and again, have be-
come familiar with his heart and charac-
ter by letter or through the representa-
ton of others, and have thus formed a
sort of friendship or attachment, and yet
much of this may be disipated at single
interview, through the influence of an
awkward, uneasy, ungraceful manner.
Who cannot point out some young gentle
man of his acquaintance, who is perpetu-
ally laundering into difficulties, dilem-
mas and awkward rredicaments, simp-
ly in consequence of an abrupt,
brusque, uncouth, inelegant manner. He
can neither stand at ease, walk with
grace, nor speak with elegance-and this
too despite the fact that his heart may be
good, his mind may be well-informed and
his acquaintance with the world may be
comparatively extensive. 1t is either his
misfortune or his fault to be awkward in
manner, and this will often prove stum-
bling block in life, especially among the
ladies who in such matters are 80 observ-
ing, so critical, 80 satirical. These latter
qualities are, we are aware, so unjust and
under the circumstances for
some of the noblest hearts that ever ami
mated the human frame, are to be found
within awkward forms and associated
with ungainly figures. Better too, have
the principle than the manner-better the
heart within than the form without.
Nevertheless both are desirable, and hence
we argue in favor Of manner that COM
bines ease, grace, courtesy and self po-
that not only wins respect
but has it-one that expresses by it's every
proper appreciation for the
taste, feelings and even the preiudices and
passions of others, Who, for example,
that is properly cultivated can admire the
coarse, the rude, the violent, the buster
ing, the insolent, the reckless and the
bold. The manner is in some sense the
mirror of the mind. 1t pictures and re-
presents the thoughts and emotions with
in. 1t indicates not only the condition of
he intellect, bat the spirit of courtesy
and propriety. 1t is more through the
manner than almost in any other way,
hat we continually impress and influence
avorably and unfavorably, those who are
lSout us. We cannot always be engaged
n expressive action. But even when we
ire silent, and even when we are not in
Iction, there is something in our air and
manner, which expresses what is elevated
,r what is low, what is humane and be-
lignant or what is coarse and harsh.
Let us not be misunderstood We
would not check or restrain the gushings
# guileless heart or the overhowings Of
Joyous spirit. Still there is a wide diff
rank, between the affected and the genial,
the heart that is cultivated and
hat which exults because it is rough
Affectation, moreover, should be careful
y guarded against. 1t is an error of lit.
lie minds. 1t il weakness rather than
polish; and yet is too often mistaken by
hose who indulge in it for polish.
The charm of manner consists in its
implicitly, its ease and grace. 1t not
My becomes but adorrs. 1t not only
eautifies bat it subdues and wins. Take
wo persons, for example, who are in
ther respects equal--let them be of SINH
ar positions in life, equal in fortune, equal
n good looks and alike in disposition ; but
1t them differ broadly and distinctly in
manner, and the contrast will strike every
eholder. There are, indeed, many Who'll
annot enter room where half.dozen
ldividusls are assembled, without per.
etrating some blunder, or uttering some
lis-tined remark. The difficulty ia they ,
o not control themselves. They become +,
xcited and confused, and this excitement {
the mind extends to the manner and
be tongue and in the dilemma they go
Il from bad to worse, and in eadeavoring
, extricate themselves, they get the more t
lvolved. How important, then. the
udy of manners. Aud yet it is neglect
!, almost universally, while some of our
achers are themselves anything but mod !
5 in this respect. The idea of ease and /
race in personal department seems never !
have entered their minds. They forget Il
lat the first impression is often made
trough the eye, and hence an awkward b
" may be ruined before he has an op- b
'rtunity to display his mental qualities. t,
ccerding to an old aphorism, "manner K
sketh the man" We are not disposed = =
90 30 far; but it is quite certain, never v
o eaa that an eaay uraea{u1 Yolisbad