The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1871-01-19
NOSE sK1sNER,s SILVER NEEDING.

J. "a
It being just twenty-five years since
my first wife died, thought couldn't
better celebrate the event than by hav-
ing grand silver wedding. Alas
twenty-five brief summers, and II
seems but day before yesterday since
L returned from her funeral an altered
man, and told the undertaken TO call
around for his pay in the fall.
The great trouble in silver weddings
is that you are apt TO get two or three
presents alike; but [ fatter myself
that l fixed them there. In the first
place, Mrs. Skinner and | looked
over our stock of silver ware to see
what we were out off, and found that
we could take about twenty-five
square presents without becoming
bilious and then we invited few
children, in reference to nut-crackers,
butter-knives, and other small ny, L
issued my invitations two weeks be-
forehand, to give everybody chance
| to buy q present, and in addlt!on
hiuted in very delicate manner what
should like each one to bring.
So the invitations read very much
like this
Mrs.. Charity Phleddotom and Nus
4 .ls -.,, i.gtrf, band -tst
You are both asked ae,G --sa
To Mr.. AND Mrs. MosE SKINNER's
tTr5 35d SILVER WEDDING. 4s'.E 81
+ t3 January 18th. e...
***PIease bring silver castor, with exr
lih u ira mustard jug. f-.fsfres
i Hrs. Joana Bezum and her Husband,
~ You are both asked. a
To Mr.. AND Mrs. NOSE SK1NNER's
ls-f SILVER WEDDING, as
- S..[#t January 18th. noaB Ell
**#We cherish fond hopes in your di-
rection in reference to a silver. teapot
On the back of each invitation was
neat gold scroll, inclosing the word
ePlease avoid dollar stores. -
| To say the affair was a success
would be defrauding. the dictionary
iI have looked that venerable pam.
phlet through, but fail to find a word
that meets the case Nothing shor'
of seven sy1labies and q French roo
will do, so I give it up. -; .,f,4rial
r. On the arrival of the guests, | tool
i charge of the presents with as mucel
emotion as the value of the presen
called for. "A silver penknife L re
]ceived with a husky tremor in IN!
voice, while an elegant silver teapo
caused me to entirely break dow
with emotion; but recovered, ant
| went through the trying ordeal witt
4 Eunfiinching bravery Those tha
didn't bring presents were told tina
we were not at home, W which, of course
/ made the gathering more select. w
received some very fine presents, in
! Icludipg share in a silver mine, loci
| of gray hair streaked with silver
| some silver tones from q maiden
voice, a silver beam from the moon
and some castor oil made from sill
yer castor. 3t91W 9A adafsin' rla
IbHThen my wife and / stood up ant
4 received the silver-tongued congrat
ulations of our guests on our happ.
{ married life. But didn't need 'em
No, 1 should say not. When l see
man utterly crushed in spirit and bald
/, headed at the premature age of fifty
with black eye constantly on hand
and a wife who is ready to fulnis'
Z him with more; black eyes at the low
/ est market price, I pause ere l con
gratulate him on matrimonial blls:
Not that L would insinuate that Mr.
Skinner is not as gentle as dove i
the olive branch business. Not at al
simply say hat in a case like thl
, l should probably pause to the cxter
of two semi-colons and comma. Ell
, [ congratulated him. F.. ii