Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-12-29

EcceufricIfies of Calffornia ssus'
From Lippincott's Magazine
Every old Californian having, 10 "4sp
baked his own bread and boiled his beans,
deems himself good family cook. He
maintains even greater conceit than
this he deems himself cook superior
to any woman in the world, when he
chooses to concentrate his mind on culi-
nary affairs. On such man when duly
married, there breaks out once or twice
year culinary mania. He must cook
he will cook. He watches the opportu-
nifty when his wife has prolonged her
afternoon visit little longer than usual.
He inyades the kitchen. He kindles a
fire in the stove. Before kindling that
FIRE he leaves open every door in the
house. from cellar TO sarret He tnrns
the damper wrong. The stove smokes
the wrong way. He draws water in the
wrong bucket to FIJI the kettle. These
things are terrible to mention, but they
are often done in California. He throws
potato and other vegetable parings in
the cleanest pail he can find. Wher-
ever he walks and whatever he touches
he leaves muss. He leaves knives,
forks and spoons all over the house;
also, dish rags; he puts one of these in
his pocket. He ceases to be a rational
or accountable being. An old male
California cook, married and in his wife s
kitchen, is not well spring of pleasure.
He brings all the frying-pans he can
find into use. He sets their sooty bot
toms on the clean pine table. He coz
templates making tea. He reflects as
TO the quantity he used in the mines for
making" He cannot recollect ex-
actly. He Grams several hstfuls INTO
the teapot. he will have enough any
way. No one who drinks thereof sleeps
that night. Nervous. He essays TO
make buscuit. He wonders how much
saleratus they used in the mines to get
good rise on. He uses enough. He
kneads his dough, and wandering va.
eantly about the house, leaves traces OF
-four at every step. 1t is in the parlor,
on the door knobs, on the banisters. He
can cook. He says he can cook better
than any woman in the world :" II he
was only mind to give his mind to 1t.
This conceit is never to be taken out
Of him. It is peculiar TO all old Califor-
Mans for he made bread in the mines.
1t was bread too-good to kill. They
say " two pardners who cablned
with him d;sd of heavy bread indiges-
tion. De was given two hours to leave
that camp. Now we see him rayishing
his wifes kitchen. He has burned up
all the choice newspapers lying about,
which the folks wanted to read. He is
using table butter TO cook with, and sets
the cooking butter on the table. Things
fall into that dough-buttons matches
and bits Of coal.
In the midst of this culinary riot,
chaos, smoke, grease, scot, rags and Hour,
the wife comes home. She opens the
hall door, and is oppressed by the cloud
of smoke. She knows then that the cul-
mary ft is on her husband. She steps
into the Kitchen. There he stands, red
heated. hustered, caught in the act, with
a big spoon in one hand, tormentor in
the other. a spot Of black on his nose
The frying-pan is full OF hot, smoking
lard. 1t sizzles and sputters all over
him, az he stands there with his back to
the stove, and all over everything for
many fee. around. There comes from
the oven door suspicious smell Of
smoke; his biscuit are burning. All sorts
Of things in pots are boiling over. She
rushes to his assistance. Both burn their
fingers. He has mislaid half the stove
covers, and cannot find them. One is
discovered, a fortnight afterward, up
stairs under the bed. How did il get
tbere7 he says he didn't know be was
carrying it up at the time. Absent
minded. he was looking for clean
towel at the time. ff
His wife, in despair, goes TO her room
and cries. and thinks Of her happy girl
hood days. She does not come down to
supper. No one eats much that even
ing. He has the whole table to himself.
He hasn't much appetite either. He
gets up every half minute for some for
gotten article-for the salt for a cup,
for a saucer. When he has entirely
finished, he finds the potatoes forgotten
they arc still on the stove boiling
boiling piecemeal, boiling furiously, like
the driving Of Jehu, the son Of Nimshi,
who drove rapidly.
Next day his wife comes down stairs