Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1871-08-10
ODDS AND ENDS.


What do great liars do when they
die?-They lie still.
Why was Eve not afraid of the
measles?-Because she'd Adam.
New name for tight boots-Corn
cribs.
A New Orleans lady boasts that
her hair is five feet and ten inches
long.
Every effort, however humble
which tends to elevate humanity,
should be encouraged.
To what color does fogging
change 4 boys complexion? 1t
makes him yell "Oh,"
The latest style of visiting cards
is of pale lavender tint and almost
square. aa a,.4 ,if i'fH-
When does a man impose upon
himself. When he taxes his mem
ory. ..rs..
The rattlesnake crop of Ga. is
extremely prolific about 100 per
cent. in advance of the previous
years. "a.
-rnere were manufactured in the
United States last year over 100000
sewing machines.
The snail has right smart chance
for a toothache. He has ITO
rows of teeth, with Ill on each row
or 12,210 teeth in all.
A modern astronomer gazed long
and earnestly through a telescope at
the movements of Saturn, and after
ward discovered that he had been
watching the receding light of a
n. Y. steamer.
A San Francisco school teacher
received the following note from the
''ostensible" parent of one of his
pupils:
Il hope, as to my John, you will
fog him just as ofiin as you kin.
Heas bad boy-is John. Altho
I've bin in the habil of teachin him
miself, it seems to me he will never
larn anithing his spcllen is ottrag-
Ously defishent. Wallup him we'll
ser, and you will receiv my thanks"
A shrewd old gentleman once
said to his daughter:
'sBe sure, my dear,you never mar
ry 4 poor man; but remember that
the poorest man in the world is one
that has money and nothing else"
Colds are prevalent. They are
good to humble a man-being sure
to bring him to his sneeze.
A young lady advertises for a
husband; she is so lonely since her
father ''dlde," and afraid of
coasts" :" .---r
A drawing master, worrying his
pupil with contemptuous remarks
upon his lack of ability, ended by
asking:
Now, sir, if you were going to
draw me where would you com
mence first? ...a 81
The boy, with 4 meaning look in
to his masters face, answered very
quickly. ae7 af''ll- -.sa
"Your neck, SIR 5-it -r1 l.1o|
A reckless Michigan youth fond
of practical jokes, gave a compan-
ion a cigar loaded with gunpowder,
whereupon the latter was badly
burned and one of his eyes injured.
The joker had to pay $25 and cost
for his joke. .-.a
Some persons are like balloons
the higher they rise the smaller they
,-7- ..
Pa why do they plant guns-de
they grow and have leaves?
No, my son, but like plants they
shoot, and then others do the leav-
ing
tSam,how many logs have you saw
d,eh?' why, ma'am when I've got
this and three others done I'll have
sawed four sH..s ~.-
Are dose bells ringing for fire.
said Simon to Tiberius. No indeed,
answered Tlbe, 'dey hab got plenty
of fire, and the bells are ringing for
water .. ..
One of our Republican exchanges
fits to the new departure policy of
the Democracy the old anecdote of
the boy and the woodchuck. The
boy was observed watching for a
to come out of his hole.
" Do you suppose you can catch
him2" said . passer-by. "Catch
himT said the boy, y,contemptuously;
ss T've UOt tn catch him STRANGER