The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-12-03
M,rning Star and Catholic Messenger.
SEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY, DEGEMBEk ). 1911.
W.T. AND wIsDoM.

to church.
Which is the largest room in the world
The room for improvement.
When a lady faints what figure does she
need You must bring hers
Who killed the most poultryf Hamlet's
uncle, for he did "murder most foul"
The young ladies whose feelings were
"all worked up" ordered fresh supply.
A newspaper is the literature of the mil
lion. One man in hundred reads book.
A bad marriage is like an electric ma
shine-makes you dance, but you can't let
go.
"what little ohild!" said friend.
"Ah," said Hood, "his parents never made
much of him."
His pill-g. image is over" as the drug
gist's widow said when she ordered an cpl
taph for his tombstone.
An Iowa woman put starch in her hus-
bands beer, thinking it was arsenic, and
wes surprised because it didn't stiffen
him.
Fasting promotes piety, clearness Of
thought, free and easy circulation and hap
py feelings, while fullness produces sinful
desires.
A Wisconsin man reported that he
couldn't find word in the dictionary be-
cause "the blasted book hadn't got an
index"
The true cause of the inequality of the
sexes-In early life, the boy masters his
opportunities, whilst the girl commonly
misses hers.
A well known authoress gives it as an
item of domestic felicity, that the man of
the family should be absent at least ak
hours perday
1t is said that in London ga child is
born every five minutes" 1t must be- a
little unpleasant to the children to have
the process repeated so often.
A little four year old boy being asked by
his mother if he would not like to have
wings and be an aogel, replied, "No, ma,
I'D rather be hawk and live on chickens.'
There is no truth in there port that Hor-
ace Greeley has organized a company of
iron-founders and protectionists for the
purpose of raising monkey wrenches from
apes.
st. Chrysostom says-"Oh how many
have been coached to~heIl in chariots of
earthly pleasure, while others have been
VII, whipped p. to Heaven by the rod of affiic-
A teacher of vocal music asked an old
lady if her grandson had au<ear for music. !
"Wa'al," said the old woman, 81 really |
don't know. Wont yod take the candle
and see 7"
A sharp Toledo girl said of a gentleman
to whom she had just been introduced, that
he would be very presentable if the Lord
hadn't turned down so much of his lego to
make feet>of.
1t is evident that the most worthy efforts
often fail, while the worst succeed. This
fact alone ought to show the folly of basing
an estimate of character upon superficial
reckoning of results.
"Mr. Speaker" said member of the
Jamaica Legislature, discussing bill for
the regulation of the timber trade, ~
L ir,1No h., |
egregious rascals-I was in the timber line
twelve years myself"
A little boy once stopped at q country
tavern and paid for his lodging and break
fast by saving wood, instead of asking it
as gift Fifty years later the same boy
passed the same little inn as George Pea
body, the banker.
A.Virgipia editor has come to the con-
clusion that man might as we'll under
take to hold himself at arms length and
then to turn a double somersault over a
church steeple, as to attempt to publish a
paper that will suit everybody.
doctor said wealthy patient to his
81 want you to be thorough.
Strike at the root Of the disease" "Wcll,
cane and brought it down hard enough to
break into pieces a bottle and glasses
which stood upon the side board. 1t was
his last professional visit to that house.
The Maryport Advertiser appends to
report of the proceedings at the Maryporr
Petty Sessions, in an assault case last
week, the following statement: "The
words kick and strike recur so frequent
~ in the report that we are obliged to
leave out the evidence of some of the wit
nesses for want of 'k's.''
Sidney Smith being once at dinner
party, where the conversation turned upon
Captain Cook and his celebrated voyages
round the world, an ignorant person, in
order to contribute his mite towards social
asked him "Pray was Cook
killed on his first voyage 2" I believe he
was" replied Sidney Smith: "though he
did not mind it much, but Immediately en-
.ered upon the second"
Charles Matthews, going into an eating ;
house for lunch, heard, as he entered and {
sat down, seven orders given in quick sue
cession by n throng of as many customers.
One called for q basin of ox-tail soup, two
fsr- meck-turtle- soup, three for pea-soup,
and one for bouilli. And the waiter, DASH
ing to the speaking tube that communica-
ted with the cook, bawled out with i'm
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