Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1871-06-16
THr-sStrBLR BFD.

THr-zst-BLR BED.
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A new Western tS'gn, but lately reclaim
ed from the wilderness, where the houses
are few, mean and ugly; the streets mud
or dust the trees destroyed and the gem
eral appearance one of poverty struggling
with heavy obstacles; where the wolves
run the mail in ahead of time, and night is
made hideous by tailor practising on a
hute-this is good place to keep away
from.
Into such town as this, and during
court week, | once rode on horseback, at
the end of weary day, passed into a con-
unuous mud-hole, studded with stumps
and ornamented with logs, that a benight-
ed country called a road. Night had al
ready closed in, and was guided to the
hotel by the thousand and one BOYS of the
| place, and the noise issuing from the bar
room no less bcasty and disagreeable. |
found the landlord shut up in corner pen,
dealing out liquid insanity to his custom-
ers. To my request for supper and Il bed
he responded that could eat my fill, but
there was not a bed unengaged, or not oc-
cupied in the house. persisted until the
wretch informed me that there was "a fell
ler' in No. occupying a double bed, and
| could "roll in there" if so minded.
1t was dismal, but my only hope; so, ai
ter the evening indigestion, climbed the
rough stairs to No. o. l was told by the
landlord to walk in without knocking, and
did so.
1t was cheerless room, without carpet
upon the floor, or curtains to shut out the
black night of the windows, that seemed
TO stare blindly in on one, and wink as the
candle flared in the wind
| found my companion measuring oil
his dreams by snores, and, undressing,
''rolled in," as the landlord had suggested.
My stranger turned over, with something
between growl and grunt, as l crept to
his side.
Tired as was | could not sleep. The
bed-tick felt as if it were stuffed with
grasshoppers, and the pillows were of the
sort to slip up ones nose in the night, and
be sneezed out during the day. Besides
this my bed-iellow snored abominably. 1t
sounded like giant trying to blow "Old
Hundred through a tin horn, without
knowing exactly how. l bore this inflic-
ton as long as l could, and at last gave NV
friend a dig in the ribs, exciaiming at the
same time:
"I sayr
"Hillo-sh-what is it?" he asked in
confused way.
81 am sorry to disturb you, but think
1t my duty to inform You that l walk in
my sleep"
"Well, walk"
"My Christian friend, am well aware
that this is free country, and if n man
wishes to walk in his sleep, there is no con-
stitutional provision to prevent him. But
/ wish to remark that il do walk you had
better not interfere with me-"
go, walk won't say word about it,"
"Well, don't. When addressed or inter-
fered with, am apt to get furious. l near
ly Drained poor man with dog-iron the
other night"
"The deuce you didr'
"Yes, l did.
"Well, III be blowed That's rather
dsagreeable A fellow might under the
impulse, blurt out something to you"
Better not
"No | should think not"
A long pause followed this. At last the
wide-awake lodger, asked, abruptly:
"Did you notice my hat on the floor?"
~ believe l did,"
"If you walk, you know, I'd rather you
would not step in it,
"Ill bear that in mind"
Afler another pause he again asked:
"Did you notice that door on the leit?"
81 saw dooron my left"
"Well, if you walk, I'd advise you not
to go out there. 1t opens on Il porch, only
the porch hasn't been built, and its twenty
feet down into the stableyard."
"I don't believe | shall walk out of that
door"
"Don't think would ii | walked much"
supposed my inquisitive friend was
dropping into sleep, when he again broke
out:
81 say, did you really brain man with
a dog-ron?"
al tried pretty hard"
Then came In a silence that was not brol-
en-. After a little while l heard my bed
fellow creeping softly from the other side
of the bed. | could hear him feeling a.
bout for his hat and his clothes. Then
had the satisfaction of knowing that the
door had closed softly on my retroating
tormentor. / rolled over and slept the
sleep Of innocence.
The next morning on descending TO
break fast, | found AN old friend seated at
the table. We had not met for years. Az
ter cordial greeting, | said:
"Are you stopping here? ?'
'l have been trying. But | am nearly
dead. l slept on bench in the bar-roo
amid lot of drunken brutes, who sang
'Bingo' for wagers of drink all night"
"Could you get no bed?"
Eyes, l had double bed to myself, when
that stupid ass Of landlord sent up "A crazy
follow, who walked and struck out with
dog-irons."
"Good Heavens, Gillipsy, was that you ?"
"And, D., you don't mean to say that you
served me that internal trick?"
1t was case that called for diplomatic
explanation.
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