davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
Allegheny Live Stock Market.
ALLEGHENY CRY, PENNA
November Is, 1871.


CATTLE-The arrivals by the va
rious railroads centering at the Union
Yards were Is cars or go head. In
addition to these there were droves from
Butler, Washington, Greene and Mercer
counties, making in all about $50 head
on sale this morning. The quality of
the cattle offered, taking the lots all
through, was an improvement on that
of the last few weeks, very few Of the
common and interior grades being on
SALE the supply consisting principally of
the medium and better grades Of cattle.
The market opened up moderately &C.
tive, and as is always the case, even in
the dullest of markets, the choice or
pick of lots was sought after, and this
class sold for fair prices. The trade to-
ward ten o'clock livened up little, an
East Liberty dealer, NJ. Q c. Briggs,
appearing in the market to purchase
some cattle to fill an order. He sue
ceeded in getting a very fine drove OF
choice cattle. This had the effect Of
stffening the market and made butch
ers a little more anxious to buy,
though they wanted to do so at low
prices. The extremely low figures
that have ruled for some time
past makes it very difficult for drovers
to deal with the butchers, as notwith-
standing the market has advanced and
they are unable to purchase cattle as
cheap, yet butchers insist on buying at
old prices. With this state OF matters
existing it is sometimes hard to effect
sales. But on the whole the market
was more satisfactory than any that
we have had for some time, and we
heard very little dissatisfaction from
drovers on the contrary, in converse
ton with several parties who had
wholesaled their stock, we found they
were we'll satisfied. Good cattle seem
to be most in demand. The following
are the ruling rates for the different
grades: Extra, 1900 to 1900 lbs. steers
Sc %; fair 1900 to 1900 lbs. steers,
S. 50 to S. -; medium, 1000 to 300
TBS. steers, 81 Is to s. 26; common
81 90 to 81 So
Our country readers in noticing the
prices, must bear in mind that we give
the highest and lowest figures, and very
often there are but few cattle sold at
the highest price quoted, the bulk Of
the sales being at prices between the
highest and lowest.
HOGS-The number of hogs on sale
this morning was quite large. Drovers
report the market not 30 active as last
week, with fewer sales, but on looking
around we noticed good many hogs in
the hands of transient dealers, and we
saw some OF the dealers purchasing
from them. This accounts 70. the trade
not being as good as usual with the reg
ular dealers. We think on the whole
there was probably as many hogs sold
as last week with prices ruling shade
| lower.
Prime hogs, choice OF lots, sold for
s. % per 100 lbs; fair butcher hogs
s 90; medium 81 IS; common 81 so;
rough 81 90.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
New York Cattle Market.
NEW YORK, November /;

NEW YORK, November IL.
BEEF CATTLE-Fine weather with
moderate supplies cause firm market
total beeves $3.50 head; for to-day we
have 13I cars at Communipaw, oil at
One Hundredth street, and AZ at Wee
hawken, making 1850 head; quality
variable, with many thin State, Texas
and Western; the market ruled strong
at 4c advance from Friday, making the
rates about as on last Friday, when the
quality was the same. The extremes
were 7a@l3c, mostly 94@lltc, averag-
ing lO3c; 5 cars Texans, st cwt, sold at
SIC; 5 cars poor Illinois, ST cwt, &c; 8
cars Ohio, II cwt, ll@l2c, 9 cars Ken
lucky, u cwt, l03c; IL cars, 8 cwt, 10
@l2c.
SHEEP-32,6OO total and $500 to-
day; market rather weak at 43@6fe
for sheep and 6@Sc for lambs; lot DO
ID Indiana lambs selling at 63c; 2 cars
Canada &c lbs &c; a car IA lbs SC; car
70 lbs thin State sheep 44c; a car Sc
lbs Ohio SIC; car ia lbs Canada &c,
and few at 6fc.
HOGS-Receipts $500 for the week
and Is, 200 to day; market rather firm
at 4bc for live, and 6@7c for dressed.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
commissioners Sale.
David Thornburg

David ThOrnburg
against I'm Chancery
The Hempiield Railroad co.,
nURSUANTTO 4 DECREE MADE AND
entered in the above entitled cause, on
me Sth day of July, 1871, the undersigned
will proceed 10 sell at public auction, at the
,r0nt door of the Court House OF Ohio
rnuutv. West Virginia, at 10 o'clock, A. NJ,
an M0NDAY, November 18th, 1871, the fol-
,rwiug property, situate in said county,
hat /, to say: "All the ground OF the said
David Thoruburg south of the northern
nnr o; the said Company's railroad, where
II has been located through the farm of the
said David Thornburg, i'll Ohio county,
Vest Virginia. to the centre of the National
road. and bounded ON the east and west by
the lines OF the said David ThornburSs
farm"
Terms of Sale-One-third cash in hand, or
slcn greater sum as the purchaser may
.Ipyt 10 pay; credit of six and twelve
months on the residue, each of the deferred
iustallments bearing interest from the day
81 sale, and to be secured to the satlstac-
ton OF the undersigned. The title will be
reserved until the purchase money Is fully
ptld. GkO. u: ia ENfohl,
U.j Special Commissioner.
The above sale is adjourned until ~
o'clock A. NJ, THURSDAY, November I'D,
ISL GEO. y. DAVENPORT,
uol4 Special Commissioner.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
For Sale.

OTIS NOS. 2,3,4,5,6,7,S, 10, II, IL, l3,
ia. - and IL in Square No. q, in the sub
missions of the Joseph Caldwell estate
known rs the old Sawmiu property. Also
lois Nos and in Square No. Is, situated
on the west side of Bolton street and lmhe-
Ji1trIy in the rear of Mrs. Hays residence,
will be- sold low by
L. G.. HUGHES,
Real Estate Agent, Office on Chapline, be
,wsau First and second streets. Sep22
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
FOR SALE.
For Sale.

I OFFER THE FOLLOWING DESIR-
ahIs Real Estate for sale: A brick house
# : rooms, full lot, good stable and out
Sonses, on Centre street, near the Shriver
Garden. A house and full lot, corner Sixth
and Quincy, will be sold in three parts II
desired, A house of 8 rooms on Chapline
otrsef. Stable, carriage house, DC. A house
"n Onincy street, east of Sixth, containing
= rooms besides pantry, bath room, &C.
Prise, $500, $1,000, silO0, $1,000.
THOS. O'BRIEN,
,,o1I Real Estate Agent.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15

The news now is, that such glaring
frauds have been discovered in Tom
Fields District that even be will not
have the cheek to claim the seat, and
it will accordingly be given to Horstio
Seymour. Good.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
For Sale.

DNE SECONDHAND BOILER AT NC
,lr single flew, including fire front, CRATE
h,rS, safety valve, stand pipe and brichin.
Price so 10. Inquire at
nnSS OFFICE McLURE HOUSE.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15

r.. -ssl5E!zsSzszl PASSENGER TRAINS
80 sWE2arw will run by the following
schedule on and after May 10TH, ISL
Wheeling time:
CINCINNATI EXPRESS.
EAST-LEAYES WESr-LEANEs,
Wheeling Wheeling
daily at...5:4O A. N. daily at-.-lO:50 A. NJ.
ARRIVES AT ARRIVES AT
Parkersburg. Zanesyiile.....5.l5 p. N.
Cumberland 2:O5 p. n. Newark. ."....i.5
Winchester. $3.50 SanduSky -.lGb
Strasburg....-. IColumbus.....0:E
Hagerstowp.9:O5
Baltimore ...-.S:25
Wash'n City-9:I0
Philadelphia2:iOA A.
New Iork...-5:jO "
FAST LINE.
EAsr-LEAvEs wEsT-I.EAyEs
"Wheeling wheeling
daily at.,...5:gO p. n. daily at. els A. NJ.
ARRIVES AT ARRIVES AT
ParkerSBurg .b:O5 A. NJ. Lanesv ille....llOU A II.
Cumberlaud.2UU INewnrk.-...l2:5) =. N
Winchtster.g3j a." ISandusky.. e.
Strasourg...ll:iO 'COlumbus.....2:.O -
Hagerstown 1850 Sundays excepted.
Baltimore BIB "
Wash. Cltym.S:iO
Philadelphia 1900 p. NJ.
New York Alb
Sundays excepted.
NAIL TRAIN.
EAsT-LEAVES wEsr-LEAVEs
"Wheeling sWheeling
daily at. Has p. n. daily at.,..I2DA.M.
ARRIVES AT ARRIVES AT
Parkersburgl l:20 A. NJ. GAINESVILLE, 5.J 4. VI
cum berland.S:0i Ncwark.....- 100 "
WiuChe,t .2:'SO L. M.ISandusky...
StraSburg. i:D columbus 90. S.Sl An
HagersUown..2:I0 HSaturdays excepted.
BaltimOre......i:i6
Washt'n City6:Oj "
Philadelphiai:i0 4. ".
New York .....5:jO
saturdays excepted.
ACCOMMODATIONS.
EAST-LEANES wEsT-LEAYEs
wheeling wheeling
daily ...lO:jj 4. NJ. daily at...-4:20 p. N
ARRIVES AT ARRIVES At
Parkersburg.9.ij Z. N LGuesyille.... S85
Cumberland. 9:j5 " Ncwark.."..lU.lJ
"Sundays excepted. Sandusky~...
iCOiumbus...llij
"Sundays excepted.
W., p. d b. DIV.
Leave WhCelng...... 10 "A. IN. D p. IN
Trains on the Main Line make cOnnec-
tons at Baltimore with trains for Philadel-
phia, New York and Boston. At Relay
House, via Washington City, for al! points
South.
Central Ohio trains make direct cOnnec-
ton at Columbus for all points West and
Northwest.
Tickets to all principal points can be pro-
cured at the Office.
JOHN J.. WILSON,
Master OF Transportation, Baltimore
Il. T. DEVRIES,
myl7 General Agent, Wheeling.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
NT M a
Fire and Marine Insurance 60,
OF WHEELING.
CAPITAL, esss,0Oo.

CAPITAL, esss.0Oo.
DIRECTORS:
VIM. b, Simpson, VIM. Z. HandlRn,
Jno. X. Boisford, 7. NJ. Dodson,
Augustus Pollock, Jonn l.. HooOe,
James r. McCouTtney.
THIS COMPANY HAVING BEEN Full
ly organized, Is now prepared 10 take risks
upon Buildings OF all kinds, Merchandise,
Manufacturing Establishments, Furniture
and Cargoes OF all kinds on the Western
Waters Applications tor Insurance viii
be promptly attended to by the Secretary.
ONCE No. Mcclure House, next door To
corner OF Monroe street.
WM. B. SIMPSON, President
WIN. Z, HANDLAN, Nios Pros'l,
J. II. MILLER. Secretary, novlN
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
r'r--1i .-- --'
NJ AN H @ Cd
IN THE
Young and Rising Generation

The Negative powers of life are strong, but
in few years how often the paid hue, the
lack lustre eye and emaciated form, and the
impossibility Of application to mental eff
fort, show their baneful influence. II soon
becomes evident to the observer that some
influence Is checking the devel-
opment ofthe body. Consumption is talked
OF, and perhaps the youth is removed from
school and sent into the country. This Is
one Of the worst movements. Removed
from ordinary diversions of the ever-chang-
ing scenes OF the city, the powers Of the
body, too much enfeebled to give zest to
heaithful and rural exercise, thoughts are
turned inwardly upon themselves.
II the patient be female the approach OF
the menses is looked for with anxiety as
the first symptom in which nature Is TO
show her saving power in diffusing the
circulation and visiting the cheek with
the bloom OF health. Alas! increase Of APP
petite has grown by what II fed on. The
energies of the system are Frustrated, and
the whole economy is deranged. The beau
tiful and wonderful period In which body
and mind undergo SO fascinating change
from child to woman, is looked for In vain.
The parents heart bleeds In anxiety, and
fancies the grave but waiting for Its victim.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
For Weakness Arising Mom Excesse
or Early Discretion,

attended with the following symptoms: In
disposition to Exertion, Loss of Power, Loss
of Memory, Difficulty of Breathing, General
Weakness, Horror of Disease, Weak Nerves,
Trembling, Dreadful Horror of Death, Night
Sweats, Cold Feet, Wakefulness, DimuesS
of Vision, Languor, Universal Lassitude of
of the Muscular System, Often Enormous
Appetite with Dyspeptic symptoms, Hot
Hands, Flushing of the Body, Dryness of
the Skin, Pallid Countenance and Erup-
lions on the Face, Pain in the Back, Heavi-
ness of the Eyelids, Frequently Black spots
Flying before the Eyes, with Temporary
Suffusion and Loss OF Sight, Want OF At
tention, Great Mobility, Restlessness, with
able to such patients than Solitude, and
nothing they more dread, for fear OF them
selves; no repoSe or manner, no earnest
ness, no speculation, but a hurried transit
ton from one question to another.
These Symptoms, if Allowed to 60
on--Whlch this Medicine Invariably
Remoyes--Soon Follow Loss Of Pow
er, Faulty and EpiIeptic Fits, in one
Of whichth Patient may Expire.
During the Superintendent of DR.. Will
son at the Bloomingdale Asylum, this sad
result occurred in two patients. Reason
had for q time left them, and both died OF
epilepsy. They were OF both sexes, and
about twenty years of age.
Who can say that these excuses are not
frequently followed by those direful dis
eases, Insanity and Consumption The
records of the Insane Asylu ms, and the
melancholy deaths by Consumption, bear
ample witness TO the truth Of these asser-
lions. In Lunatic AsylumS the most mel
ancholy exhibition appears. The counte-
nance is actually sodden and quite desti-
tutp. neither mirth nor grief ever visits IL.
Should sound of the voice occur 1t Is rare
ly articulate.
with woful measures wan despair
Low sullen sounds their grief beguiled."
While we regret the existence OF the above
diseases and symptoms, we are prepared TO
offer an invaluable gift OF chemistry for the
removal of the consequences.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
FRANKLIN INSURANCE CO.

OF WHEELING.
CAPITAL, sEao,oop.
DIRECTORS:
samT Mcclellan, George Mendei,
I. Ii. Logan, Thos. II. shSIlcTn'N.
q. w. FrHnZhCim, J. y. Vance,
J. n. Hobbs, Michael Reilly,
Louis &. Stiirl.
THIS COMPANY NOW HAVING BELt
organized i've years, and In that time pDU
"A successful business, N stlll prepared 20
take risks at fair rates on buildings Oiull
kinds Merchandise, Manu- featuring EstNb-
lishmenls, Furniture, Steamboats, and Car
goes on the Western Rivers and Lakes.
This Company offers superior induce
ments To Farmers, whereby they can bU
insured on Dwellings, Furniture, Barns ana
contents, for three or five years nj Reduced
rates. This being State Company, with
THE LARGEST CASH CAPITA
paid IN ana surplus Of any company IA iho
State and composed OF some nIuttJ 49,.
stockholders most OF whom are among our
best business men, recommends itaclf tO On"
favorable consideration OF the insuring put
lie, and sOliCits their patronage. hppliCJ-
lions for insurance will be promptly at
tended 10 at their Office, No. ~ MOprp"
Street, or at their several agencies thrOu "a
out the state.
SAML MCCLELLAN, Prcsidei.t
GEO. MENDElI, Vice Prciidonl
&. n. COEN, Secretary.
A. j.. WILEY General A ent i'hU
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
West Virginia Insurance c

CAPITAL, siG5 rOuJ.
TAKES RISKS AT THE Low IsT
rates on Buildings Of all kinds FuTDiius".
Household Goods, Merchandise and GUuIr
IN Transit.
DIRECTORS:
Jacob H0rubrOuk, Jacob VI. hicE''
Henry Hartman, Dr. J. &. uupp,
Jonathan ROwlcy, Edmund BOcSIuE
X. ]. Smyth, T. j. Campbell,
j. II. BristOr, =. Prayer,
WIN. Is. OdbeTt, Thomas BuFgCtg
u. ID. I. FaTnsWOTth, Wm. u. Crane,
David Billmycr, Joseph shields
WIN. r. White, y. DDH, IT,
J. II. Duyal, ID. II. DIX.
VIM r.. Stevenson,
ED Once over HnrtmanH Clothing = rl..
south side Monroe street, Wheeling. ". w..
JACOB HORNBROOH, PIcsid,I'.
JACOB ~ BICKEL, Vice Pr'4i
]. II. VILLA M, Secretary.
+. b. McCOLDOCH. ASH Secretary
mar
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
FINANCE AND TRADE.
Toledo Market.

TOLEDO, November IA.
GRAIN-Wheat is firm and ten
depcy upwards; No. / white Michigan
at 81 At; amber Michigan at 81 40
l Al; No. 2 red at 81 35@l Sc; rejected
red at 81 81. Corn is inactive no
sales. Oats dull and unchanged; Mol
at 39c; No. 2 at 373c. ....
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
r. CRANGLE. Prest.

General Agent for West Virginia, South
Eastern Ohio, and Washington and Greene
counties, Penna-
WHEELING, W. Va, September y, ISL.
sepl2-sgb
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
Entire Road and its Equipment,

And, alsO, as fast "a the road IL completed,
on 81 900 ACRES or LAND 70 every mi!"
Oftrack, or 500 Acres Tor each $1,000 Bond.
They are EKEHPT from United rtates TaJ,
Principal and Interest are payable IN Cod;
Denominations; Coupons, 500 20 tbJSE Reg
istered, slOOJ 10 $1,000.
LANDS FOR BOMBS. Northern Pacific
1875 are az all times receivable at Ten per
cent. above par, In exchange for the Com.
pany's Lands, at their lowest cash price.
This Renders them Practically late'-
est Bearing Land Warrants.
SINKING FUND-The proceeds Of all
sales OF Lands are required {, be devoted 10
the PE-YURcHAGE aud CANCELLATIONS 81
the Fir.t Mortgage Bonds Of the Company.
The LAID GRAsT Of the ROAD exceeds
FTgrY MILLION ACRES. This imm"nEs
sinking Fund will undoubtedly cancel the
principai Of the Com pany's bonded de bt be-
lore it Ialls due. With their ample sscUT!ty
and hig rate Of interest, there II no invest
nent, acce8db.e TO the people, which j.
more PROP TABLE OR sAbE.
EXCHA NGING UNITED STATES FIVE
TWENTIES.-Ibe complete SUCCESS o! the
New Government Five per cent Loan VIII
pei the early surrender Of United .atns
Six per cents. Many holders OF Fivs-Twen.
ties are now exchanging them Tor Northern
Pacific seyen-ThiTtIes, thus realizing
handsome profit, and greatly increasing
their yearly income. Full informal on,
maps, pamphlets, etc, can be obtained Oh
application 20 the undersigned. For sa!eby
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
LAND GRANT GOLD BONDS
o. TIE
Northern Pacific Railroad Co.

They have THIRTY YEARS 10 run, O.. ~
seven and three-tanihs per cent COLD lul'T-
ct imOTe than eight per cent. currency D
and are secured by FIIlsT and ONLY mort
gage on the
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. co.

r., -zs.5sEsllisz=ssEl PASSENGER TRAINS
80 s12arwi run by the following
schedule on and after May 18TH, ISL
Wheeling time:
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-11-15
TRANSPORTATION.
Cleveland & Pittsburgh R. R.

r laszEzzzl ON AND AFTER MAY
- - ., 1871, Trains will run as
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15
Budget of Fnn.
Josh EBilliuys ON Horns,


. We are indebted to Josh Billings" for the
following extracts, taken from his recent lee
ture on Horns and Jersey lightning
DINNER HORN
This is the oldest and most sakred thare IL.
II IL set to musk, aud plays Home, Sweet
Home" about noon. 1t has bin listened tew
with more rapturOus delite than even Graifula 5
CONS 1t VIII arrest man and bring him IN
quicker than sheriif's warrant. 1t kauses
the deal to hear, the dumb to shout FOR JOY.
GLORIOUS Old instrument, long may ynre lungs
last
RAMS HORNS.
4 spiral root, that energies suddenly from
the figure head Of the masku!ine sheep, ram
Ines until it reaches a tip end. Hams horns
are alwus a sure sighn ov battle. They are
used few butt with bM nth out cnY rcspckt
to persons. They will attack a stun wall or a
deakOn of an established church. 4 storv is
tod ov old deakon Fletcher Oy Konnektkutt
State, who was diggin post holes in a ram
pasture on hiz farm, and the mOshun of hiZ
boldly was looked upon BY the old ram, who
fed in the lot, as a banter for fyht the ram
went incontinently for the deakon. and took
him the first shot on the blind side ofhis BODY.
Just about the meridian.
The blow transported the deakon sum
eighteen feet, with heels overhead moshum.
Exhasperated to point at least ten foot
beyond endurance, the deakon jumped up and
skreemcd with his whole voice yu ID old
cuss, and then all at once remembering that
he WIZ good, piuz deakon, he spologizcd Dv
saying: "ttat is II / mug be alloreihe e,5ge,s.
i0a.'
The deakOn has mi entire sympathy for re-
marks to the ram
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15
kuygEuA

Fall and explicit directions accompany the medicines
Evidence OF the most rc and reliable
uished on applications with hundreds Of thousands OF living
witnesses and upward OF 0M unsolicited certificates and
reCommcudatory letters many which ARE from The CHEST
sources, including eminent ph! SicNus cergyMen statesmen
etc The proprietor has never -SOrcd 70 The publ alton IN
the newspapers he does not do this roN the fact that his
articles rank ns standard preparations and do not need to be
propped up by certificates
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

II keep the best Bread" said a certain
baker the either day to II poor fellow who COM
planned of the inferior quality of the article he
had purchased of him the day before. II
don't doubt it," replied the customer. "Then
why do you complain ~ asked the baker.
because l would suggest that you sell the
best bread and keep the bad" was the reply.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15
Henry Il. ulclmlsoIN's Genuine
Preparations.

Delivered to address. Secure m observation
Established upward Of twenty YEAR sold sy druggists ev.
erywhere Address letters uiorAnl In confidence TO
HENRY L. HELMBOLD Druggist and Chemist.
only Depots; II. +. liELMB DLh> Drug and Chcmic al
Warehouse. No b9t broadway, New York. or to II HELM
BoLD'S Medical Depot lW NH Tenth ~, Phlnd,lphls.
BEWa NE or col 'NTrRt FITS. .,Sf kOH HhNRY ..
HELNAoElrS, TlhE 80 OTRTi. sbsN
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

L,oR SATI;.-HOUSE AND LOT for sale, of
L the sidecut The house contains four we'll and
clstern on the premises also skrubhory Terms Enquire
Of RICHARD 6lINDON,
Oct29. I. .. Box $50, Ottawa, Ills.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

A Cockney travelling in Florida writes,
"these blasted Yankees cawn't heven speak
Henglish, you know. Ere ha Massachus etts
man-Boston, hi think-was talking about
crocodiles, c said they were lively bug and
smelt orriby loud"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

An irascible old gentlemen WIS ken with
sneezng in the cars lately After ~ueczing in
a most spasmodic way eight or ten times, he
arrested the paroXysm for moment. aud ex-
Treating his handkerchief, he thus indignant
ly addressed his nasal organ: 80, go on--go
on-you'l blow your internal btaIns out pres
emily"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

ut Is settled principle, your Honor"
said lawyer, "that causes always produce
effects" They always do for the attorney
blandly responded the Judge; "hGt I've
sometimes known n single case to deprive a
client of all his effects ~
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15

y physician tells the following: 1remem
be- one day in making my hospital rounds p
patient Just arrived presented ne an ampu'atcd
forearm, and in doing 50 could scarcely re-
frain from broad laugh; the litter was con
stantiy on his face
what is the matte, THIS does not strike
me as Il subject o.! laughter 1T i, not,
doctor; bat excuse me. lost my arm in 80
funny way, that still laugh when look at
It, our first sergeant wanted shaving badly,
and got me to attend to it, as am corporal.
We went together in front of his tent had
lathered him. took him by the nose and was
applying the razor, when a cannon ball came.
and that was the last saw Of either his head
or my arm Excuse me, doctor, for laughing
as do, but IN be especially blasted if | ever
saw such bully thing