The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1871-02-23

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A number Of years ago there dwell
in this village a gentleman By the
name Of Charles Whiting. If ever 8
. human being was overstocked with
p good humor and wagishness, IL was
that same Whiting. He was up to al
sorts Of innocent tricks and his vic
TINS were numbered by the hundred,
many Of whom vet reside mere. 1t
come to pass that this wag was elect
ed Justice of the Peace, and shortly
after his installment in Office, a couple
came over from Iowa to get united in
the holy bonds Of paddock" Whit
ing tells how he performed the cere-
! mony, as follows:
n Having been appointed to the de-
sirable "pOsish" Of Justice Of the
Peace. ] was accOsted on the 9Th OF
July, by a sleek looking young man,
who in silvery tones requested me to
proceed to a neighb0Ting hotel, as he
wished to enter into the holy bonds
Of matrimony. Here was a ''squelch-
er." / had never done anything Of the
kind, had no books nor forms; yet
was determined 20 do things up strong
and i'm a legal manner, so ] proceeded
to the hotel, bearing in my arms one
! COPY Of the Revised Statutes, one dit
to Weoster's Unabridged Dictionary,
loneeopy large sized Bible, a small copy
Of the creed and articles Of faith Of
the Congregational Church, one COPY
Of Pope's Essay on man, and a sec
tional part of the map where the vic
tim lived.
Having placed the table IN the mid
1 die of the room. and seated myself be-
hind it, ], in trumpet tones, called the
case. With that the young man and
woman, with great alacrity, stepped
up before me. Having sworn them
on the dictionary TO answer well and
truly all the questions I was about to
ask, I proceeded. told the young
man that, being an entire stranger, /
should have to ask him to give bail
for the costs. Having heard this so
frequently in court, 1 thOnght il In
dispensable. He answered that II ]
meant the fee for performing the GER
emony, he would deposit it then and
there. As / did not know exactly
what did mean, 1 magnanimously
waived that portion Of the ceremony.
then told him it would be necessary
to keep the peace. This he said he
was willing to do, when he arrived
home, and 1 then waived that point
also.
Having established TO my satisfac-
ton that they wanted to get married
and that they were old enough to en-
ter into that blessed state, I proceeded
to tie the knot. I asked him II he
was willing to take that woman to be
his wife. He said he was. / told him
that did not require haste in the
answer; that he might reflect a few
minutes if he wished. told him she
looked liked a fine girl, and / had no
doubt she was; but If the sequel prov
ed that he had been taken in, I did
not want to be held responsible.
said he must love, honor, and obey
her as long as she lived; he must not
be ''snappy" around the house, nor
spit tobacco Juice on the floor, all Of
which he promised faithfully to heed.
''Now," said l, "Georgiana, [her
name was Georgianal you hear what
Humphrey says. Do you accept the
invitation to become his wife? Will
you be lenient towards his faults and
cherish his virtues; viii you never be
guilty Of throwing furniture at his
head for slight offenses, anu will you
get three meals a day without grum-
bling? She said she would. / asked
them If they believed in the COM
mandments, and they said they did.
Having read the creed and articles of
faith, as aforesaid, / exclaimed:
Humphrey, take her, she is yours;
I cannot withhold my consent"
"GeOrgiana, when safe in the arms of
your Humphrey, you can defy the
SCOTS and jeers of the world"
then read a little from the Essay |
on Man." including that passage,
"Man wants but little here below, but |
wants that little long" As a finale |
to the scene, I delivered the follow
ing eXOrdum: "Go in peace, sin no |
mOre.D
The generous Humphrey having |
placed fifty cent check in my unwil-
ling palm, 1 bade the happy pair f.
nal adieu.