Mower County transcript., 1871-07-20

teeth, and who was expected to return to
the city and hand her to the hymenial alter
in few day s. that bill WAS paid.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
MANY a good man leaves an inheritance
in the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
GREAT BRITAIN spends as much in two
days on liquors as she docs in a year on
foreign missions.
PARIS, KY, boasts of horse which,
having cast shoe, jumped out of his en-
closure, went to blacksmith shop and
had himself shod
To destroy ants, the best plan is proba-
bly, to catch the ant with pair of tweeZ-
ers, and hit him square on the head with
sledge. hammer.
A LOUISVILLE physician, who analysed
a sample Of the " cream candy" sold there,
found that more than one-elghth of the
entire bulk was terra alba.
In the height of prosperity expect ad-
versity, and fOrtify yourself against it's
evils by policy on your life in the Wash
ington.
A VERMoNTER has just paid seventy
five dollars for pound and half of lead.
It was purchased through New York
counterfeit money firm.
A POOR topper, as last resort for more
drink, took his Bible to pawn for liquor,
but the landlady refused to take it,
"Well," said he, eff she won't take my
word or Gods word, it's time to give it
up" And he went and signed the pledge
and kept it faithfully.
THE lady who carried off the chemical
prize at the University of Edinburgh
(Scotland) was the highest Of 240 candi-
dates. Having been declared ineligible to
receive the prize on account of her sex,
Sir Titus Salt sent her G10O, but she de-
clined to accept it.
A LADY's husband being away from
home, died while absent. One Of the
neighbors being requested to inform her
of her husbands death, found her at dim
ner, and when he informed her of the
death she requested the neighbor to wait
until she had finished her dinner, when he
would hear some loud bawling.
ABOUT year ago child, whose parents
reside in indianapolis, swallowed thimble
having an open top Ever since it has
subsistcd on food in liquid form, chiefly
milk. Everything of a solid nature is i'm
mediatcly thrown up if the child makes
an attempt to swallow it. Eighteen
doctors have unsuccessfully endeavOred to
find and remove the obstruction. The
child is healthy and fat.
A FRENCH Canadian, a guest at Mon
trcal hotel, was greatly alarmed when the
proprietor told him that if he had any
money he would do we'll to have it put in
the safe. He felt convinced that the in
tcntiOn WAS to rob and perhaps murder
him, and at night, hearing somebody talk
ing in an adjoining room, he jumped out
of his window to the ground, distance
of forty feet. Fortunately lie was not
much injured.
IRON telegraph poles have been substi-
tuted for wooden ones on the line between
Berlin and Potsdan, and along the rail-
| way from Weissentels to Gera, with such
satisfactory results that it is now proposed
to introduce them on all Prussian lines.
In Switzerland they have also been salts
tactorily tried. 1t is claimed that they
will last so much longer than wooden ones
that they will be cheaper in the end, while
they are much more pleasing to the eye.
A LADY died two years ago in Troy, and
left her property to her nephew, with the
proviso in the will, that if he ever offered
the farm for sale, the property should be
forfeited to a certain church. The place
was offered for sale few months ago, and
the church instituted suit, but the courts
have decided that the conditions of the
will were against "public policy" and
have declared the provision null and void
JOHN VAN BUREN was dining in sa-
loon, having just cleared man from some
charge in the court, when the complainant
in the case, angry at the lawyer who had
beaten him, walked up and roundly abused
Prince John "Could there be any man, "
said he, $50 wicked. SO mean, 80 vile, who
could possibly commit a crime so foul that
you wouldn't defend him for it," II
don't KNOW" said the Prince, sucking in
another oyster right from the shell, "what
have you been doing?"
| A PATRIOTIC FOUR R-YEAR-OLD.-Par-
son Thomas, Of Dayton, o., D. D. of
good rcpute and fine quality, has son of
sprightly parts and progressive ideas. This
SOD had been visiting at the house of fe-
male relation, where he took some prima-
ry lessons in the history of the American
Revolution, and how tho Americans whip
ped the Britishers. The lad returned
home full Of bis new subject, and at the
British?' "Yes, my son, was born in
tortcd the patriotic Young American.
THE following is related as an incident
of the sacking of Paris: A boy of thir-
teen, found fighting was taken to be shot
He took a silver watch from his pocket,
and cried out: Captain, do let me take
this first to friend across the street
borrowed it, oh! you scamp said the
officer, understand; you want to run
! off Of T
back again, said the boy, and the captain,
seeing it was child, was only too glad to
get rid of him. In ten minutes the boy
came back, and took his stand with his
face to the wall Here am fire! Does
Roman history tell lis anything Drawer?
The captain boxed the little hcru's cars,
and ordered him never to show his face
there again. They could not fire on him"
HEARD, yesterday, little story which
goes to show that truth can be as strange
as fiction when it has its mind made up to
the result A gentleman, who did not live
very happily with his wife, concluded to
obtain divorce, and soon after doing SO
changed his name, in order to avoid Ger
tain little unplcasantncsses. His wife took
her maiden name, and the twain became
two flesh as much as it was possible for
them to be. Afterward he met a charm.
ing widow from California, and, after
brief courtship, he violated the principle
of the adage about the burnt child by mar
rying her. One evening she proposed to
him to call on her sister, whom she had
not seen for years, and whose address she
had just ascertained. Smith, as will call
him, consented, and the visit was made.
Smith was slightly taken aback to find that
the sister was his ex wife, though Mrs. s.
wass ssignorant of the fact. And there was
more surprise when it was found that the
cx-witc had just been married to the OK
husband of Mrs. Smith No. 9, who was
only widow by brcvct, having been di-
vorced in Western State, on account of
"incompatibility of temper" The visit
was brief one, and was never renewed.
-Neao York Letter.
The Newly Arrived Eng glishman.
The newly y-arrivcd Englshman has come
round again. This time he was b,,sily
talking with young lady on Washington