Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-06-15
FEX AND FlNCT.:

Their deaf in the last years of his
life. One day meeting, DR.. john
son, who hated music parties, he
asked the bluff old morafist to put
down his name for concert, at the
same time remarking that he had
subscribed. "Oh, well," said the
doctor, "if I were as deaf as your
lordship, I would also subscribe"
A PHYSICIAN of Springfield was
hurriedly called away from the din
ner-table recently by a messenger,
who made the following request:
"There has Teller fallen into q
drain and got drownded, and we
have got the water outen of him,
and now want you to come and get
the mud out of what's into'im,"
NATURAL IMPULSES girls
never will learn to restrain the ma
tural impulses of their nature. A
minister was baptizing girl at Rip
on, Wis, and when he had submerg-
ed her and came out of the water,
he asked her how she felt in her
mind. Her answer was, CAL bunker,
ny little wet" $500
F., A DANGEROUS FELLOw.-"Sir, did
you intend to spit in my faceP" Il
did" "You did, ha! Well, you'd
better not repeat your insult to often,
for if you should once arouse the
sleeping lion in my breast, no one
can imagine what might be the con-
sequencesw
A Missouri paper, in giving an
account of the funeral of little boy
who was killed by being run over
by railroad train, says: ''The fun
eral ceremonies were solemn and
impressive, and well calculated to
warn children of the danger of play
ing about railroads.
A LIVE cat was found in the mail
bag at town in Maine one day
last week. The postmaster made
dilligent search through all the
United States postage laws to as
certain the amount of postage on
the animal, but found nothing touch
ing the case.
"YoU here, jenkins! How the
deuce did you find your way out?"
Find my way cut! Out of where?
What do you mean?' "Why, the
last 1 saw of you, you We're tost-in
slumber." "Oh-ah; well, 1 rode
out on night mare
A NEWLY married man says his
wife is running him by her extrava-
gance in the poultry trade, she hav-
ing recently bought, in one day, a
duck of bonnet, duck of dress.
and duck of a parasol, at the alarm
ing total figure of S135.
/ A MoDfL ScHoo1. CoMMrrEE.-A
school district IN Massachusetts has
a committee of three, consisting of
man, his wife and his daughter.
Strange to say, the daughter got
the appointment as teacher against
all competitors.
"ANY kind of rosy is good" said
Angelina to Augustus, her lover,
who was medical student. II know
one that isn't" responded August
us. Name it, quoth Angelina.
'Leprosy," Augustus did reply.
"NAr1vE diamonds have been
found in this State" says a satirical
Georgia paper, (which, if judicious
Protection were afforded us by a
Properly adjusted tariff, might be
worth more than dollar a pound"
One of the leading officials in the
Treasury office at Washington is
said to be SO ignorant that he want
ed tariff laid on "cloak: of hipoc-
rasy," on the supposition that it
was manufactured article.
A MOST excellent old-lady uptown
is much exercised in mind to know
how it is that little quicksilver in
a glass tube can make such awful
hot weather by just rising in it an
inch or two.
JAMES" asked Professor Platitude
of one of his pupils, sis there a word
in the English language which con-
tains all the vowels?' There is
unqeSionably," answered James.
GENERAL LOGAN, in pitching into
a military opponent, exclaimed,
"Why, his sword was never drawn