Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-02
Remnants.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


Thare IL sum things that kant be coun-
terrified blush il one ov them.
Goodness il jist az mulch ov study
as mathumaticks IL.
If q man expeckts tew be very virtewous
he mustn't mix tew mulch with the world,
nor mulch with himself neither.
Thare tx more diviltry in the world than
thare liz ignorance.
The people who acktually deserve tew
iiv their lives over agin are the very ones
who don't want tew do 1t.
The richest man ov all IL he who haz
got but little, but haz got all he wants.
Natur makes all the noblemen-wealth,
edukashun, nor pedigree, never made one
yet.
When a man Suz me favour i alwuz
try tew remember it, and when he duz me
an injury i alwuz try tew forget tiff
don't ought to.
If man liz honest he may not alwuz be
in the right, but he kan never be in the
wrong.
Crate takers are generally CRATE liars,
for them who talk so mulch must sooner
or later, run out ov the truth, and tell what
they don't kno.
Idont bet thare IL emmy SIGH thing az a
perfekly good man, or pertekly bad man.
/ kno ov emmy quantity ov people W hose
virtews are at the mercy ov other folks,
who are good simply for the reputashun
ov it, who haven't got emmy more real ap'
petite tew their conscience than klam
haz.
hav studdyed mi own karakter, and
mi own impulses for 80 years clussly, and
kant tell to day Ito save bet) whether
am an honest and trew man or not-il
thare IL emmy boldly who knows about this
matter wish they would address me q
letter, enclosing a postage blister.
Thare liz no sekts, nor religious dis
putes amung the heather, they all ov them
cook a missionary in the same way.
| One CRATE reazon viii Jordan liz SIGH 9
ruff road tew travel" IL bekauze, almost
every boldly works inside ov their own
lot, and lets the turnpike take care of it.
self
Every man makes hiz own pedigree
and the best pedigree IL a clear con
science.
To be gentleman-git ritch, and keer
a boss and buggy.
! Virtew in poor man liz looked upon az
jewel in tuds noze.
The man who liz tyrant in hiz house
hold IL an abjekt cuss amung hiz equals.
| After man liz fairly born the next CRATE
blessing IL a square deth.
| Virtew liz like strength, no man kan tel
how mulch he haZ got ov 1t till he Gums
akrost sumthing he kant lift.
hav cum to the konclusion that what
everybody praises wants cluss watching.
Thare IL nothing the wurld will pay sc
mulch for az fust rate nonsense, and there
liz nothing in the market 10 skase.
Thare IL menny folks who are like
mules, the only way tew their affeckshuns
liz thru the kindness OF klub.
Thare amt but phew people who know
how 10 Civ gifts, and the number who knc
how to receive them liz less.
The strongest propensity in woman's
natur il to want to know "aoltdt's goias
omr and the next strongest, IL tew boss
the job.
Skorn not the day ov little things, for
thare IL no man in this world so CRATE but
what sum one kan do him favor or an
injury.
Thare IL one witness that never IL guilty
ov perjury, and that IL the conscience.
Thare IL SIGH thing az being alwus toe
/ quick am one ov that kind miself-i al
wus miss rale rode train hi being thare a
half an our too soon.-Neso York Weekly.