The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-17
kCISsORIyGs.

A Georgia paper contradicts the report
that Alexander III. Stevens, the Confed-
crate Vice President, has become Swc-
denborgian.
When Socrates was asked whether it
were better for a man to get married or
live single, he replied: Let him do eith-
cr and he will repent it,
Onion lozenges are the latest inren-
tions In the confectionery line. They
are intended for the use of lovers and
ladies who are troubled with gentlemen
who make long calls.
Old Mrs. Pilkins was reading the for
eign news by late arrival. Cotton de-
cliningv exclaimed the old lady. We'll,
/ thought as much, the last thread
used was remarkably feeble
A gentleman of this city who paid his
wife's milliner bill the other day, says
the siege upon Paris hasn't had half the
effect upon the fashions that he had sup
posed 1t would.
In Mobile, Ala, man married re-
Gently his seventh wife, Mexican, hAv-
ing previously been united respectively
to German, French, English, Dutch,
Irish, and American woman, all of
whom died. |
The attempt of the young King of
Greece to revive the Olympic games on
the same spot and in the same style in
which they were celebrated twenty-five
centuries ago has provedan ignominious
failure.
A mamoth fog whistle, which has Just
been completed at Portland, Me-, for the
Lighthouse Department. is the largest
ever manufactured in the United States,
and probably in the world. II is an IS-
inch whistle, weighs some 40 pounds,
tI mi .tf E~s tsNf IaS rNf
horse power to furnish the steam to
blow 1t.
There Is a negro debating society in
Bainbridge, Ga, whose last meeting was
devoted to the question whether educa-
ton or money is most beneficial to
community. The advocates of educa-
tion won the prize-S20 in gold-and
then followed row, the unsuccessful
competitors loudly demanding ''wnat de
debbil dem chaps dat thought money
was no count wanted wild de gold?"
A certain lecturer quoted the Miftonie
couplet:
But come. thou goddess. fair and free,
In Heaven yclsp'd Euphrosyne;
and had the pleasure of reading the next
morning the following photographic
translation:
But came that goddess. fair and free
In heaven she ctept, and froze her knee.
Mr. Dorsey's charity TO prisoners looks
a little more genuine in the light of the
fact that he was himself for several
Providence paper, containing some sar-
castle comments on his benevolence, he
lsaids ".Just such report as that ap-
peared in the Jerasdlem Morning Herald
the day after Christ was crucitied, and
lust such another contemplate cuss as
you are wrote it.
The Aroostook (Me,) Pioneer says:-
One evening last week couple of chaps,
| from the rural districts, came into the
Telegraph Office to send dispatch. The
message was taken by the operator, and
the pair went down stairs. They had
lust reached the sidewalk when the gong
at the Smell House was sounded for tea !;
lwhereupon one of the pair went into the
lair, exclaiming, "By Jerusalem! there
lit goes, Jimln
An ice merchant in Greenwich, Conn.,,
who had been watching his ponds all
winter with almost prayerful interest in
hope of freeze, visited it one day, after
a sharp, cold night, stepped on the, ice,
and finding that it would bear him. ex-
claimed, s9rhank Godp' Gofpg still
further, he exclaimed more fervently,
'Thank Godm But on venturing tri-
fie further, and going up to his neck, he
CALCULATED, louder and heaftier, ssDamn
the iceni
A Maine lady, whose husband former
lly represented q district of that State in
lCongress, has an album, wherein, be-
tween the names of Everett and Web
lister, appears this note, verbatim:
| .sMrs.--s of Maine, requests the hunter
from the west--to write his nain in her Album.
I II ;nosfv e6n all ha lad br1 n aoufi-
mont wishing her helth and happiness and . safe
arrival at her residence with her family and
sfriends. DAVID CRoCKErT,s