Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1871-10-12
Pith and Point.

! A sehoolmsster in Ohio advertises that
be will keep a Sunday school twice
week-Tuesdays and Saturdays
A person being asked what was meant
by the realities of life, answered, 'Real
estate, real money, and real good dinner,
none of which can be realized withou.
real hard work
That is the elephant, sonny said
matron at show. Is if, though ? Does
he know that he Is an elephant 2 'Yes.
my son and he knows which Of the other
animals are elephants, too
When Rip Van Wrinkle was bsiry
driven out of his home by Gretchen. in 4
Pittsburgh theatre, the other nigh.
spectator in the orchestra brought dow
the house by crying out, Don't go"
a young man in the street being cbsrg-
ed with lsziness, wes ssked if be took il
! from his father. i think not said the dis
respectful son fathers got all the lszi.
ness he ever had
John said cruel father to biz SIT
whom be one day found shaving the down
from his upper lip, don't throw your
shaving water out where there ave any
b4refooted boys. for if you do Their ise,
may get Pricked.'
Mr.. SPEAKER said member of the
Jamaica Legislature, discussing q bill for
the regulation of the timber trade, I
know these timber merchants to be most
egregious rascsls-I was IN TIE timbsr
lire myself twelve years.
a famous Judge came late TO court one
day il busy session, wberest the clerk 10
- = Z 4
"A caild was born his honor said, and
am the happy sire AN infant INDIE e
'Ob, no. said he, AS yet he's but crier.'
= Connection Democrat cent his son
10 New York to complete his education.
After short time his son wrote to his
father that he was studying Horace On
learning this the pa'ernal parent replie1,
Come home; l don't want Greeley 20
make Republican of my SON.
When the telegraph informed Us thai
MsggiA Mi'chell had reproduced hor-elf.
we understood it bat the ANNOUNCEMENT
that Victor Hugo is pleural" i iu.t =
littl~ TOO much. If they 90 on improgiuz
on the English language 10 this way ~
shail ~"ou b. in 8 pretty mess.
A Uuug man who had seen the Fourth
of July WAS discovered by his mother cn
the fifth, sitting on TIE wood in the gard
trying to pull eff his boots. His mother
held M her hands in horror at the sight
while he, endeavoriug 10 stand erect, tx
claimed. Tn not drunk, mother, but
sieker child you never had"
Mis. Spaulaiug, II. D.. Of sandas1r,
amputated d mans leg a few dsys ago
Season. This is nothing. We have known
H woman to imprison a maEss fingers
break bis heart, blast his hopes, take his
eye and commit numerous other depred4-
tions upon his masculine personality, any
of which was worse than TO merely cut
of his les.
Among the Sunday school children # a
certain church was poor little fellow.
He could not tell the number of the bouse
In which he lived, and was charged when
he next came to school to bring It. The
next time he appeared he was asked if be
brought the number. No, SIR said be.
1T was nailed on the door so tight l could
not get II off,
A little four year old, living Just cu,,
side New York, was saying bis prayers a.
his mothers knee. After he he hal fa-
ished his mother said to him, Nov S8n.
DIV, ask God 10 make you q good boy.
The by hesitated, grew thoughtful, and.
stter few minutes, looked up and wb,.-
pared, It's no use, mamma-He won't Dc
it, l tell you've esked him ever 20
many times
A white haired old negro preschcr IL
New Orleans thus addressed one Of tie
Of h. L. last
week: What are We grnmbling bout:
Yer all better off dan yer ever 'sPecied
ter be-drn yer deserve to be. Did yer
tink when Mass4 Linkum guv ye yer free
dom. he was gwyne to buy tickets IN the
Louisiana State Lottery fer you beside;
4 small Colorado boy, who had boen ont
playing, ran into the house in a state ci
great excitement ss5fng be had seel
some antslopss in gulch near By. ~
bis entreaty, his mother went out 10 !ooE
at them, but nothing of the kind was to
be found. She became incredulous, sad
said at last: i don't believe You saw any
anteiopes it must have been your imag.-
nation, my cbildr To this, the little
Indignantly responded;
guess my imagination isn't
white behindp
One of the last humorous papers has
very funny cut. 1t illustrates this scene
An old gent is walking in his garden
Presently the milkman comes along, ont'
eide the high garden wall, and gives bic
customary veil. Old gent hears some
thing, but being very deaf, is unable 70
make out Just what is wanted; so be puts
his ear trumpet in place, and eieys'IDE
the edge over the wall, exclaims,
Milkman takes it for dish, ana enpu
4 quart of milk into the old gent
ind goes about his business. II 80