Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-06-10
GATHERINGS by THE WAYSIDE.

Can man eating dates be said to
consume time?
The greatest nutmeg ever known met
with CRATER.
The artists adeu to his picture
You be hanged!
"A spoiled child-The one that played
with the Kerosene lamp.
President Grant was forty. years
old on the 10Th of May.
-Somc girls are like old muskets; they
use good deal Of powder, but won't 60
off,
A quaint oil Scotch proverb runs
thus: "An ounce of mother is worth a
pound of clergy"
The latest schoolboy composition on
the horse says that it is " an animal having
four legs, one at each corner"
"A queer case of suffocation is report.
cd up town. \ man swallowed his own
joke. 1t must have been bad one.
-" Equality means says a French
writer, "a desire to be equal to your su.
pcriors. and superior to your equals"
keep ont of debt, out Of quarrels, out
Of damp clothes. ont of reach Of liquors,
aud out of doors all you en- in good wca.
ther.
-" Married people should study each
others weak points. as skaters look out for
the weak parts of the ice. in order to keep
off them"
A Maine drug clerk gave a sick horse
some opium Cor al,cs The owner Of tho
animal proposes to shoot the clerk in a ft
Of insanity.
-Ifyou wish to know how many friends
you have, get into Office; if you wish to
know how many friends you haven't, get
into trouble.
Little Dicks mother asked him what
kind of nuts she should buy for him.
Doughnuts, mamma, me can cack 'cln
with my tooths."
-Lecsville, Ct, does not possess voter
who is not n Democrat. A Republican
moved down there recently. but he could
not stand it, and had, in self-defcnse, to
move out again.
A serious gentleman was set all aback
the other day when he asked farmers
wife how she made sausages, and received
for an answer, Take your in ards, scrape
'em, scald aud stuff EN-"
The gold-mining prospects are unusu.
ally favorable in Montana this year, OWN.
to the great abundance of water 10 the
mountains, and old miners are returning
thitl'er in great numbers.
Very intimate relations exist between
the sun and digestion. Digestion and as.
similati9n become weak aud imperfect il
the man or animal is not daily exposed to
the direct rays of tho sun.
"A country politician, in speaking of a
rival, said: "Pilkins is Of great use ia
observing men. Straws show which way
the wind blows; and, as a straw, Pilkins
has no equal in the country"
As illustrating the humorous, Profes.
sor Lowell mentioned an advertisement,
that caught his eye some time since -.
Wanted, by boy, situation in an eat.
ing-house. He's used to the business"
1t is related Of certain traveller that
being in wild country where he could
find DO provisions for himself and dog, he
cut off his dogs tail and boiled it for his
own supper, and gave the dog the bone.
The greatest stickler for etiquette
ever heard Of is man in Michigan City,
who objected to interfering with man
who was stealing wood from his woodpile,
on the ground that he had never been in.
troduced to him.
-" Martha, my DEAR" said loving
husband to his spouse, who was several
years his junior, "what do you say to
moving to the far West?" ooh, I am
delighted with the idea! You remember
when Mr.. Morgan moved out there he was
q: poor as VIC arc; and in three years be
died, leaving his widow worth 100000.