The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1871-02-14

London, the resolute Mr. Pott declared: - |
''From that contest, sir, will never shrink,
till have set my heel upon the Estanswill
Independent" And at later period in the
career Of the immortal Mr.. Pickwick, that
ingenious gentleman had the pleasure of
listening to the emphatic strains of Mr..
Potts voice in his comfortable room
at the Saracens Head, Towcester, as the
editor of the Eatans will Gazette read from the
last number of his journal: reptile con-
temporary has recently sweltered forth his
black venom in the vain and hopeless attempt
of sullying the fair name of our distinguished
and excellent representative, the Honorable
Mr. Slumkey-our reptile contemporary, we
say, has made himself merry at the expense
of a superbly embossed plated coal-scuttle,
which has been presented to that glorious
man by his enraptured constituents, and
towards the purchase of which the nameless
wretch-the crawling creature-our fiendish
contemporary" etc. And when the scene is
transferred to the kitchen of the Saracens
Head, where Pott of the Gazette with his
cigar, and Slurk of the Independent with his
rum and water, are brought face to face, the
ears of Mr.. Pickwick are saluted with an in
terchange of ''atrocity," ''knavery," ''dirt,
''flth, 'sime," "ditchwater, and "malice,
meanness, falsehood, perjury, treachery, and
cant, until the climax is reached by his receiv-
ing on one side the thwacks from Mr.. Slurks
carpet-bag and on the other the thrusts of
Mr.. Potts fire-shovel.
Journalistic animosity rode a high horse in
Eatanswill, as Mr.. Pickwick was eventually
persuaded to believe; but a cursory glance
over the last number of the Anthracjte MOni-
tor, which is issued weekly in the ancient
borough of Tamaqua, would convince even
the incredulous Mr.. Pickwick that Pott and
Slurk did not exhaust the we'll of dehled and
impure English. The Monitor man starts
out with four-line leader, couched in these
chaste and piquant terms: 1.-THE sap-headed,
widow-swindling, old loafer, who emits his
stink in the Miners (?) Journal, is informed
that we have survived his attack of Wednes-
day last" 1t will be observed that the punc-
tuation of the Anttrdcite man is as merciless
as his language, and that, by the adroit in
terposition of a comma between "widow-
swindling" and "old," be has intensi-
fed both epithets, at the same
time that he has stood each of them
squarely on legs of its own. Then, little
further down the column, this stone-coal man
expands the feathers of his quill and essays
longer flight, uttering at the start the omi-
| nous defance:-''Let us have a few plain
words with you, members of the NJ. & l.. b.
| A.; a few sober, quiet words even at the risk
of having the Pottsville lunatic accuse us of
making damaging admission" And then,
rising to the full dignity of the situation, he
shrieks out:-"Answer these questions, some
of you blatant, semi-civilized, thoroughly
contemplate, scurrilous BEASTS" to wind up
his fight, after beholding vision of ''politi-
cal blatherskites" trembling in their shoes"
with the profound and startling query -
''Was there ever such an ass ?"
Upon mature reflection, we are compelled
to admit that we don't believe there ever
was. But, really, it is a very pretty fight as
it stands-an unctuous and enlivening dis
pute, which fairly eclipses the row between
Pott and Slurk over the ''superbly embossed
plated coal-scuttle" which ''the enraptured
constituents" of ''the Honorable Mr.. Shum-
key" presented to ''that glorious man." as an
evidence that his ''amiable and touching de-
sire to carry out the wishes of the constituent
body" had 'forever endeared him to the
hearts and souls of such of his fellow-towns-
men as were not worse than swine" The
Eatanswill editors came to the final scratch
over "coal-scuttle, and by singular and
suggestive coincidence, the beautiful and
pathetic interchange of journalistic courte-
sizes up in Schuylkill county has
been brought about by the coal strike. The
term interchange" however, is used mad
vertently, for we have searched the columns
of the Miners Journal in vain for line that
savors of the Eatanswill style of argument.
1t is not the pot calling the kettle black, but
the reverse; the AnthrGctte organ throws
whole kettles full of pitch at Pottsvlle, and
Pottsville, with commendable forbearance not
unmixed with contempt, declines to return
the compliment. Wherefore we are compelled
to reassure that stone-coal man of Tamaqua
that we don't believe there ever was ''such an
ass" as he processes to be in search Of