Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-10-12

ence between hen stealing and cock robIaf
| Most people are gald to give their opin-
zion. Lawyers usually sell theirs.
The most steadfast followers of our
fortunes-Our creditors.
When is mother father? When she's
a sigher.
The latest news at Washipgton--Ths
revenues.
The most popular of all watch-words---
| Tick.
I To give a man hard name-Call him q
brick.
Joint Stock-The material for ox-tail
soup.
When is small fsh-pond like bird
cage ?-When there'sa perch in it.
There is some les up north" as old as
the ark SO it is called Arctic ice.
The day to pick your wife is Choose
day. "Wednesday is the day 70 be mar
ried on, of course. ~ M
Railways aristocratic-They teach every
man to know his own station. and to stop
there.
"What is a smile ?" asked man Of o
little girl. "The whisper of laugh"
said she. AF p
The newest Western lecturer is Ida
Glenwood. ! 500 saloons furnish Louis
vile with local items.
1t is said that there are 1l,081 900
horses in the United States.
In regard to newspapers, young ladies
prefer those which make the most hustle.
A female barber" out West" has re-
tired from business on account OF the ar
rival of a " little shaver"
The Cleveland Herald mentions Con-
necticut man as having Gen. Butler by
tho hair. A very bald attempt.
The Nevada gold and silver production
averages $479 annually for every man.
woman and child in the territory.
| The postal money-order system between
the United States and England will 60
into operation on the I'd of October.
A Western admirer of the fine arts
chronicles sententiously Bierstadt is
Juggling his paint-pot along the Pacific
coast"
An artist, celebrated for bis forest and
water pictures, was probably accounted
laborer, on account of his being huer Of
wood and drawer of water.
Ann Riding is an English girl who lost
her appetite sixteen mouths ago. and has
eaten nothing since. She Is a blessing to
the newspapers.
A San Francisco editor thus addresses
an Oakland brother: "You wallapus.
you itchyodorulite. you bogus hammoc-
hrysos, you-you Oaklahder."
France produced silk and silk mixed
goods to the value of 100000 in the
year previous to the war, having had up
wards of 2SO, 900. 900 looms in operation.
| A Racine girl wanted her lover to
swear on the Bible that she was all the
world to him, and when he wouldn't she
knocked him down with the sacred vol
ume.
There are some newspapers verses be-
ginning /" Last night drew from off my
Sleeve a little golden hair Lucky for
you your wife didn't find it before you
did.
It is reported that pine lands in Wis
consin to the value of 100000, belong
ing to the Government, were lately bought
up by one or two corporations for $50 900.
The crime of jerking the hair out Of
your wifes head is not SO sinful as it for
merly was. 1t is just as ungentlemanly
as ever, but it doesn't hurt as it used to.
When is the most dangerous time to
visit in the country ?-When the trees are
shooting aud the bull-rushes ont.
Every "leading politician" in New
Jersey is said to be in the " hands of his
friends" as candidate for Governor.
| Why is minister near the end of his
sermon like a ragged urchin ?-Because
he's toward (tor'd) his close (clothes).
an inscription upon a church tell in
Milwaukee reads: % In memory Of Minnie
J. Hodges, weight 724 pounds"
In time the mulberry-tree become .
silk gown-and silk gown becomes wo-
man.
A cynical man says the reason womea
are 80 fond of writing letters is that they
rejoice in the opportunity Of saying all
they wish without the possibility Of an in
terruption.
Mr.. Beecher thinks it high time girls
were taught little practical natural his
tory, and so shamed out of screaming and
half fainting at the sight of a worm, toad
or a snake.
The Indian women Of Washington Ter
ritory all ride astride, usually with q ba-
by in front, and another one little older
sticking among the bundles and bags with
which the pony is caparisoned.
A Janesville, Wis, editor has discov-
cred that many young ladies of that city
.. wear their corsets IN bed with the strings
tightly laced. The editor neglects to say
borv ba caue IN know 80 much