Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1871-08-10

A Tit Bit-A horse ! BIZ. Of course.

shop.
A capital letter-One containing a re-
mittance.
"Thfngs not generally known"-POor
people, f--- ,G
Ground ait-Advertisenents on the
pavement.
Maxim-Give Child a bat and most
likely it'll bawl
A dentist can stop .woman's tooth.
but not her jaw.
Call spade, spade. Yet you may
call stockings, hose.
Some husbands, though anything bat
sharp, are awfally shrewed.
Most lovers like TO I've alone with their
sweethearts, of course.
Some tailors would make capital dra-
goons, they charge so.
The woman that Inakeili a good pud-
ding in silence is better than one that
maketb a tart reply.
Why is hole in your shoe like har
vesting operations? Because it's reap
arabic
The editor of the London Spectator de
clares that no toll fatigues like reading
manuscript.
a Chi ago merchant offers for sale ap-
Piles and peaches, every one warranted to
contain prize"
When you have to pay the piper will
the peppermint be the proper source
mint -source-to apply to?
Soldiers IN battle are not allowed to
whistle TO keep their courage up. That
must be left To the bullets.
How to be happy cheap: Go without
your dinner and see how happy you will
be-when supper time comes.
Statistics-Of the l,OOl young ladies
who tainted last year, 97s- fell into the
arms of gentlemen, two fell on the floor,
and one into water-butt.
This generation has grown so lazy that
il is proposed to have elevators in the
churches to take the people up into the
galleries.
The allowance of ladies at the watering
places Is about twenty-five TO one man,
which, as every sensible man knows, is
jnst twenty -four too many
II is said that Mr. a. H. Stephens has
gained nine pounds in weight since he be
came an editor The Louisville Courier
JournM fears that when he weighed him
self last he had one Of his editorials in his
pocket.
\ Connecticut man ardently wants TO
"represint the michandick and laboringe
men in the state assemble irrespectiv OF
poliytics, relijion or eddicashun. OF the
last, especially.
a Bainbridge serenader, who mourn
fully warbled, Il am lonely to night. love
without thee" had his loneliness allevi-
ated by a number of dogs, who made it
lively enough for him for the balance of
the night.
A Boston paper asserts that they used
to have habit down on Cape Cod of
sending town paupers TO the. Legislature,
that the commonwealth might relieve
the.2 from the expense Of paying their
board during the winter.
The following telegrspljc correspond
ence is model of brevity and point: "Oil
Regions. June Is, 1871. To Miss Laura:
viii you 90 TO the strawberry festival
with me to night? Please answer quick
Yours, Herb" ''June IS, 1871 To
Herb: Yes. Harness up soarnfulesn; I am.
liking my curls. Laura a. Ct"
A dandy of twenty-six having been
termed an "oid bachelor" appealed to an
elderly gentleman TO decide whether he
should be called old or not, giving his
age. "T'wehty-six,~ said the elderly gen
tleman, lit is owing to how YOU take it,
Now, for man it is young enough; but
for a goose il is rather old"
"Now, young people, said professor
of natural history 10 bissclass, ''now,then,
as to hens; hen has the capacity of lay
ing just six hundred eggs, and no more;
and she finishes the job in just about five
years. Now what is to be done with her
after that:' ''Cur her head off and sell
her for spring chicken," exclaimed an
urchin whose father dealt in poultry.