davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08
Smiles, GrOtesque and COmical.

A GRoTEsQUE simile is sometimes very
expressive. We mention those of Daniel
Webster, who likened the word would,
in Rufus Ghoate's handwriting, TO a small
gridiron struck by lightning; of sailor
who likened a gentleman whose face was
covered with whiskers up to his very eyes,
to a rat peeping out of bunch of oakum;
of Western reporter, who, in weather
item on cold day, said that the suns rays
in the effort to thaw the ice were as futile
as the dull reflex of a painted yellow dog;
of a conductor, who, in discussion as to
speed, said the last time he ran his engine
from Syracuse, the telegraph poles on the
side looked like a fine tooth-comb. Smiles
of like character are often heard among
the common people, and are supposed 10
be the peculiar properties of Western ora
tors. Instances: As sharp as the little
end of nothing; big as all outdoors; it
strikes me like thousand bricks slick as
as Quaker meeting by moonlight; flat as
founder; quick as a wink; not enough
to make cruel for sick grasshopper; not
clothes enough to wad gun; as limp and
timber as an 1ndia-rubber stove-pipe; un-
easy as cat in strange gaTret; not
strong enough to haul Goldfish of
a gridiron; after you, like a rat-ter-
rier after a chipmunk squirrel; useless as
whistling psalms to dead horse; no
more than grasshopper wants an apron;
don't make the difference of the shake OF
a frogs tail soul bobbing up and dCwn
to the bosom like crazy porpoise in a
pond of red hot grease enthusiasm boiled
over like bottle of ginger-pop as impos-
sible to penetrate his head as to bore
through Mont Blanc with boiled carrot
as impossible as to ladle the ocean dry
with a clam-shell or suck the Gulf OF
Mexico through goose-quill or to stuff
butter into wildcat with hot awl Ol
for shad to climb up shad-pole with q
fresh mackerel under each arm or for .
cat to run up stove-pipe with a teaze
tied to its tail or for man to lift him
! self over fence by the straps of his
I boots. There is another class of SMILES
/ scarcely as pertinent as, for instance
| straight as Ii rams horn ii will melt in
your mouth like red-hot brickbat talk
to him like Dutch uncle smiling as d
/ basket of chips odd as Dicks hatband
happy as a clam at highwater; quicker
! than you can say Jack Robinson like al
possessed like fury like allnatWr' like
all sixty as quick as any thing mad a:
hops mad as Halifax; sleep like top
/ run like thunder deader than door
nail getting along like two'forty on ;
plank-road. .-APpletOn's J0Ra@.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08
THE NEW WORLD.

Gold closed in New York ON the 29th
at 11O15.
A Washington telegram of the Gath says:
"The management of the Russian Lega-
tion passed to-day from Catacazy to
General Gorlof, whose residence has been
at Hartford as military attache of lega-
ton. This gentleman will be very ac-
ceptable to the executive authorities in
his new position. This change relieves
the President of the unpleasant duty
which Catacazy's conduct had otherwise
made necessity, of sending his passport
to the Minister, and may be regarded as a
practical compliance with the request of
this government for his recall
The official returns from the Wisconsin
State election give General Washburne,
for Governor, majority of 0,3S2.
Mrs. Catherine V, Waite made applica-
ton to have her name registered as a legal
voter at Hyde Park, III. The Board OF
Registry refused the application, where
upon Mrs. Waite has petitioned the Supe'
rior Court for an alternative writ OF man
damuS against the Board of Registry, to
show cause why peremptory writ should
not be issued against them.
The Wyoming House, on the 18th,
voted-9 to Sin favor of repeating the
bill granting the right of suffrage tc
women.
Complete returns Of the vote for Gov
ernor in Maryland, nearly all being official
give the following results For Jacot
Tome, Republican 5s, 1924; Wm. Pinckney
Whyte, Democrat, 1880. Democratic
majority, 15,1Ss
The Grand Duke Alexis and suite, &C
companied by Secretary Robson, visited
! Annapolis, Md, on the Gath.
Mexican news of the 18th says the gov
ernment troops, commanded by Genera
Folentino, were entirely routed in Duran
go by the revolutionary forces, under com
mand of General Guerra.
A Washington dispatch Of the s5tl
says il had been ascertained from an OF
fetal source that there was no truth II
the statement that Minister Schencl
would be recalled and Secretary Fisl
succeed him.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08
HerOism of a Conductor.

ACoNDUCToR on a freight and passenger
train on the Syracuse & Binghamton Rail-
road performed daring feat a few days
since, by which fearful catastrophe was
avered The train, consisting of twenty
four stock cars and one passenger car,
which was filled with passengers was be-
tween this station (ChenangO Forks and
Whitney's Point, going at tolerable rate
of speed, when the engineer, VIM. Hardy,
discovered rail entirely out of the track
some distance ahead. He Immediately
reversed his locomotive, but, upon second
thought, determined to attempt to run the
train over the place where the rail was
missing, and at once turned on full
head of steam. The engineer and fireman,
however, did not remain to see what sue
cess the experiment would meet with, but
jumped off the engine, leaving it without
any one to control it. The train bounded
over the disconnected track at fearful
rate of speed, every car retaining its posi-
ton on the track. The dangerous spot
was passed, but, with no one upon the
locomotive to control its speed, most
terrible fate awaited the train somewhere
The state of affairs became known to the
passengers, and panic was at once raised,
At Whitney's Point there was every prob
ability that the track would not be in
readiness for the train, as at the rate it
was going it would reach there some min
utes before its time In this extremity
Conductor John Vrooman proved himself
to be a hero. He was in the passenger
car at the rear of the train, but Chamber
ing up the ladder of the freight-car next
in advance, he ran the whole length OF
the runaway train on the tops of the cars,
and was soon in the locomotive cab, seized
the throttle, and in the next moment had
the train under control. A less heroic
man in charge of the train, and II is inn
possible to tell what the result of the G X
fraordinary runaway might have been -
7 C0r. AZ. Y Times.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08

A SERVANT girl in Boston mistook a
bottleiof croton oil for hair oil, and gave
her head very liberal supply of II before
going to bed. In the morning her head
was rs bald as billiard ball, and the oil
had trickled down and run into her eyes,
burning her face and seriously endanger-
ing her eyesight
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08

'iaieS IiiG '.;Ucio;iIj 0f the Treasury has
issued an order to the Assistant Treas
urer at New York calling in a million
and quarter Of three per cent. certili-
Gates.
Internal receipts for November, 1854,
S27 for the fiscal year to December /,
s57, ,29s, 0s1.
Ex-Comptroller Connolly, having failed
in his efforts to furnish the requisite bail,
was locked up in Ludlow Street Jail on
the Goth. ult. He appeared much de-
pressed in spirits, and looked, in fact,
like broken-hearted man.
1t was stated on the 1st that three of
Tweed's 6ondsmen had signitied their in
tention of Withdrawing their names from
his bonds. If others were not secured he
would share the fate of Connolly.
Information was received at Omaha on
the 1st that Governor Campbell, of Wy
oming Territory, had signed the bill re-
pealing female suffrage.
Some time ago resolution was intro
duced into the Georgia Legislature look
ing to payment for emancipated slaves. A
resolution was passed on the 1st defeating
and condemning the proposition, by an
overwhelming majority. The proposed
measure was censured as tending to evil
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08

bru;sers-Mace and Cobum. Eleven
rounds were fought, lasting four hours
and ten minutes, with no definite result
the mill being pronounced "draw."
The following is the rccapitulation of
the December statement of the public
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08

In a suit recently tried in Coldwater,
Mich, Mary j. Miller, girl of nineteen
years, who was permanently injured by a
railroad train on the Lake Shore & Michi-
gan Southern Railway, recovered $500
damages.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1871-12-08

ENGLAND is excited on the subject of
her favoTite biyalye, oysters. The price
charged for good ones is five times as
great per bushel in 1871 as it was in 1861.
The beds have been dredged to death,
and cannot restock themselves. Formerly
the price was from sixpence to one shil-
ling per dozen now it is from half a
a large, coarse oyster sold at fifteen pence
per dozen. .--.--.
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
NV Woodland Princes.

What IL we met IN an old log-road
Where the oat-mould clung TO her small bare
heels.
Aud instead of woodland flowers her load
Was - string of trout and silver eelS.
Her gown was ragged and limp with dew,
Rut ii rounded pair of splendid hips;
\ rich red torrent was flashing through
Her startled pulses to cheeks and lips.
The wholesome bronze of her ruddy face
Was like ripe fruit IN a bower of green;
And she walked the world with the easy grace
And firm free step of Il woodland queen.
The dew had moi>tencd the jety hair
That waved and lloated about her head
caught "A glimpse of the shoulders bare,
The sparkling ewes. and the lips OF red
only glimpse of the taiiered gown
As She disappeared in he leaiy way;
4 glance of The shoulders plump and brown,
And a leg--hat haunted me night and dav.
tId | wandered on by the yeasty stream
To try for the trout that would not rise:
For walked all day in misty dream
pf lips and shoulders, and curs and eyes.
And thought of a damScl cly-hred,
OF narrow shoulders and doubtful spine;
With false hair triZzed about her head,
And false life heveled by rule and line.
UnskIlled and needless in witely cares.
Expensive. vapory, worthless, When
The mother hall-hateS the child She bears,
Where shall we 90 for the Nations men:
| take the lot that the Fates decree.
And my fAncies fail me, one by one.
But often in dreams again see
The Woodland Princess of Cedar Run.
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10

The following anecdote has been as
sociated with the name of well-known
clergyman's helpmate in the north of En-
gland. The minister had been entertain
ing at dinner clerical friend from some
distance: The evening was unpropitious,
and the friend was invited by the clergy
man to remain during the night, and he
accepted the invitation. They walked
together for some time in the manse gar
dens. At dusk the minister asked his
visitor to step into the manse while he
would give directions to his man servant
to get his friends conveyance ready in the
morning. AS the stranger entered the
manse, the minister's vile mistook him for
her husband in the twilight; she raised the
pulpit Bible, which chanced to be on the
lobby table, and bringing the full weight
of it across the strangers shoulders, ex
claimed emphatically: Take that, for
asking that ugly wretch to stay all night. ="
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
How to Get, and How to Lose a Set Of
Teeth.

A beautiful belle, whose mother Kept a
gentcel boarding house in New York
city, induced one of her mammals board
ers TO introduce her to lirst-class fashion
able uptown dentist Of his acquaintance,
rs she wanted u set of artificial teeth.
licI mamma accompanied her, and di-
rected the dentist TO insert them on heavy
gold plates, in the highest style of the
art, without regard to the expense. On
the first visit the young lady's stumps
were extracted, and soon thereafter she
had monIhiul oi gold-plate and pearl
artificial teeth, which added greatly to
her natural charms and acquired graces
But the bin was not paid, and after a col
lcctor had worn out some shoe leather
and exhausted his patience in trying to
get pay from the mother. the dentist re-
lated the circumstance to his friend.
One morning the dentist called on the
ladies; alter passing few minutes in
general conversation. he changed the
subject and talked business
Mamma. OF course, prolesscd to be
very sorry that she was unable to pay
the ~doclor," but would certainly do SO
in few days As he was apparently
about to depart, he casually asked The
daughter how she liked her teeth, and
she replied that they We're perfect and
pleased her very much
DO they ever slip or pain you?" kind
| " asked the doctor.
"Ncry seldom. doctor,n she replied; ;
sometimes they pinch me little, but |
suppose that can't be avoided.'
"Oh, yes said the polite dentist, pull
inc u pair of little nippcrs from his pock-
ct, ''allow me to bend the plates Il little
with my nippcrs, and it will not occur
again." ut the same time holding out his
hand to receive them. The unsnspecting
maiden pulled them out and handed
them to the '',loctor,' who, instead of
nippin@ them with his pincers, quietly
wrapped them in his pocket handker-
chief and placed them in his pocket, and
politely but firmly told the terrified
beauty that when her mamma paid his
bill she could have them, but not before.
As the Girl was to be married to q we'll
to-dG young man who had never seen her
without teeth, and who was expected to
return To the city and hand her TO the hy-
mencal altar in u few day, that bill was
| Dai1
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
A Horrible Outrage.
INDlANAroLIs. Ind. July 3

INDl>NiroLIs, Ind, July 81.
A terrible tragedy took place yesterday
nj London, Shelby County. Henry Filing
ton, for some time IN unsuccessful suitor
OF Lizzie Smith. on Monday made q final
proposal for her hand, and being rejected
attacked her, throwing her to the ground
and stamping upon her. He then took a
brick and beat her head and face in n
shocking manner, scyering one ear and
breaking her jaw. He then fled to the
woods. leaving her for dead. An alarm
was raised and he was pursued and
caught by the nei@hbors, and is now in
iail. Miss Smith was alone when attacked,
her parents being at church. She was
alive this morning, but her recovery is
impossible. Ellington says that he is on
ly sorry that he did not make sure work
of his victim. Ii is feared that he will be
lvnchcd.
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
Vanity.

The ~nm comes mp, and the sun goes down,
And The day and night are the same : one
The year grows green, AMI the wear grown
brown.
And what is il all when ii all is done.
Grains OF >ombre or shining sand,
Sliding into and ont of the hand.
And men 90 down in ships to the seas.
And a hundred ships are the same rs one,
And backward and forward blows the breeze,
And what is il All. when il all il done
Tide with never shore in sight.
Setting steadily on To the night.
The fisherman droppeth his net in the stream,
And a hundred streams are the same a. one
And maiden ,ireameth her loye-lit dream,
And what is it all. when it all is done:
The net Of the fisher the burden breaks,
And after dreaming, the dreamer wakes.
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10

YTNO THE LADIES.-Th celebrated pR. l.. DIN
i particularly invites all Ladies who need Afei-
icai or Surgicdt adviser to call ut his Rooms, Fl
E.ndcott St., Boston, Mass, which they viii find
arranged for their special accommodation.
DIR. DIX having devoted over twenty years TO
this particular branch of the treatment OF all dis
peculiar to females, is conceded by all,
(both i'll this country and Europc) that he cNcels
all other known practitioners in the safe, speedy
and ehectual treatment OF all female complaints.
Ills medicines IRE prepared with the express rur-
pose Of removing all diseases, such as debility,
weakness, unnatural suprressions, enlargement ot
bid state of the blood. The Doctor is now fully
prepared to treat in his peculiar style both mc,li-
cly and surgically, all diseases of the female SEX
and they are respectfully invited to call 1t
No. FL Eniicoit St, hEOssOn,
All letters uiring advice mast contain ono dot
lar to insure m answer.
Boston, Jan. | lNaI-lyr
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
CAUTION
10 Females in Delicate Health.

DIR. DOW, Physician and Surgeon, No. : Endi-
colt street. Boston, is consulted daily or all diseases
Falling Of the Womb, Fluer Albus, Suppression,
and other Menstrual Derangements, are all treated
on new pathological principles, and speedy relief
guaranteed in few days. SO invariably certain is
the mode Of treatment, that most obstinate
complaints yield under it, and the afflicted person
soon Tejoices in perfect health
Dr. Dow has no doubt had greater experience in
the cure of diseases of women than any other ply
sican in Boston,
Boarding accommodations Tor patients who may
wish to stay in Boston few days under his treat
ment.
Dr. Dow, since 1915, having confined his whole at
tenton to an office practice for the OF Private
Diseases and Female Complaints, acknowledges no
superior in the United States.
N. b. All letters must contain one dollar, or
they will not be answered,
Office hours from A. Nj. to L. NJ.
Boston, July %, ISL. 1yr3
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10

FiattcreG by the reception Of and great demand
Gr, the above valuable and timely treatise and also
to meet great need of the present age, the author
has just published new book, treating exclusively
OF NERVOUS ANp MENTAL DISEASES. 100
Pr cloth. Price sl.nO, or SENT FREE on receipt Of
50 for the other two books, postage paid.
These are beyond all comparison, the most extra
ordinary works on Physiology ever published
There is nothing whatcvcr that the MAEEIEp on:
SINGLE OF EITHER SFN, can either require or wish
to know, hut what is fuzzy explained, and many
matters OF the most important and interesting
character arc introduced TO which NO aliuson cYcl
can be found n any other works IN our language
All the NEW Dls,Uvl,Elrs OF the author, whose eN
pcricncc is such a. probably never before fell TO the
lot OF any man, are given in tull No person shoul6
be without these valuable books.
"NALUAELE BUuks.-We have received the
valuable medical works published by the Peabody
Medical Institute. these books are of actual mor-
it and shOnld find place in every intelligent fam
". They are not the cheap order of ahomnahlc
trash, published by irresponsible parties, and pur-
chased to crafty tastes, but are written by
responsible professional gentleman 0l emincncc, a3
4 source Of instruction vital matters, concerning
which lameutable ignorance exists. The important
subjects presented treated With dciiCaCy, ability,
and care, and as an appendix many useful pre-.
scriptions for prevailing complaints are added
Coos Republican, Lancaster, N. II.
&. The author OF these books Of the most
learned and popular physicians Of the day stnd Isl
entitled TO the gratitude Of our racc for these ina
nablC productions. II seems to he hs aim to induce
men and women TO avoid the of those diseases
to which they are subject, and hc tells them just
how and when to DO it," Chronicle, FarHiustou
Mainc Sept. :, 1863.
Either book sent by mail on receipt of price.
n. b. The author of the above named medical
works is the Chet Consulting Physician OF the
Peabody Medical Institute, and is so constantly en-
ploycd in consultation with invids from all parts
of the country, that he has no time 70 attend 10
mere business details. Therefore I'LL letters Should
be- addressed ID the fFARODn MEDICAL INSTl-
TuTE, OR pr. W. II. PARKER, the Medical rs
sistant Of the author, and his Business Agent who
as well as the ;,uthor himself, may be consulted on
all diseases requiring skill, secrecy and experience
1<I-t,,, tIF I, SI,rt,-N. Assn. f'!sSItrIN TII
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10

-~~ ,v,r, pU 1,,puCtr,r p>, pn
HU nIY if faing ~ cnra IN IN ,ees tin,n ne ~ ~
any other physician, more eficctualIy and pcr-
exposure to all weather, with safe and pleasant med
oELf'ABUSE AND SoLIIARf HABITS,
Their effects and consequences;
spECrA1 .1r,,E>rc AMI c1r,rA,r,oNo
toA1AH IA 'i'hi '-N L" AN 3i oA ioNo'
Incident 10 Married and Single Ladies.
SEcpEr ANDnuI ,r,rI Drcopn,,pc.
1A4' y D' i-iOi va IL Dioo
niercufai Affections; Eruptlons and all diseases OF
I!c IIc oklh; Ulcers OF the Nose, Throat and Body;
nlnipies on 1he race; Swelling Of thr JOINTS Ncr-
Youth and the more n1unnnd l,d otr 81 III ~
ROTH sENEs syN., ,,Avr,,,n
" " " '
z,r, =. .>.x,s
'
PRIVATE MEDICAL OFFICE,
:
IS 50 'rrgeu tnat la'ents never see or hear each
osheI; " hecoect, lhe org ehlfahcr to ms otcf y
no connection Wiln ms residence,
@ @ ~ i.'niiy ih,eIiupioh So la' ON no
Office jug " "
DIX. DIN
bojjfy asserts (anl if cannot he controdicie3 o.-
cent by ouacks who will saw or do an, lhino rren
ueriure themselves TO imposp upon 1tients i that
nc Is TUE ONLY fh"VLAF GEAhUN N'f PHYSICIAN
ADVERTISING IN EoSypN.
r,,rI,rr>- vn,pc
'i'' '1fN'''
engaged in treatment OF Special Diseases, fact SO
We known to many Citizens, Publishers, hlrr-
chants, Hotel Proprfeturs &c. that he is much re
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
Manhood. How Lost. How Restored.

just published, edition of IDr
HAIAE CulyerW Celebrated Es-
say on the radicai cure (without medi-
cine) of SPEEMAToRRn,FA, or Semi
nal Weakness, Involuntary Seminal Losses, IMro-
TENCY Mental and Ply steal Incapacty, ,lmpedments
to Marriage, etc; also, CONSTITUTION, ErILFrsy,
and FITS, induced by scll-indulgence or sexual eN-
travagance.
Rs-Prce, in a sealed envelope only cents.
The celebrated author, in this admirable essay,
clearly demonstrates from thirty years successful
practice, that the alarming consequences OF self
abuse may be radically cured without the dangerous
use of internal medicine the application OF the
knife pointing out mode Of cure at once simple
certain, and eifectual by means of which every
sufferer, no matter what his condition may be, may
cure himself cheaply, privately, and rddicdHy.
H1-This Lecture should be in the hands of every
youth and every man in the land.
Sent, under seal In plain envelope, to any ad-
Dress postpaid receipt of six cents, or two post
stamps.
Also, DIR. CULVERWELIt'S "Marrage Guide"
Price "a cepts
Address the Publishers,
CHAS. j, G. KLINE & co.,
LET BOwery, New York, z. o. Box 4,5S6.
1yr8
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
j 9 III n 10 9 r.,
coRqNER1
RELFAST, Mainc.
A GARD.

THANK YOU CITIZENS OF BELFAST,
L and those who have favored me with their pat
ronage, for the past twenty-one years have been
with you and bid You good by.
DIR. q. L. LOMBARD, who has been associated
as partner in the practice of Dentistry with me ior
the past year, will occupy the same oii,ce,
l chcerfully recommend the Doctor to your fullest
confidence a man who is thorough in his profes
sion. CALVIN MOORE.
DIR. Lombard has the County right Tor FOlsOm's =
Packing Rids e and SGraights Flexible
Edge-improvement for Artificial Plates, 2m54
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10

charges are very moderate. Communications s.-
the strictest secrecy and confidence, whatever may
be the disease. condition or situation OF any one,
married or single.
Medicines sent BY NJ Ii, ana Express 70 all parts Of
the Unted States.
All letters requiring advice must contain one dol
lar to insure an answer.
Address DE-. l., DIX, No. u I.ndicott Street, Eos-
ton, Mass.
Boston, Jan. l, 1>7l--1 yr.
The Republican journal., 1871-08-10
AGENTS Read This !

TILE E9n1k for Young and MiddleAge Men
Tx DUN to read just now, is The Science
of Life, or Self-Prese nv ton. The author
Dir. A. II. HAYES, has returned from Europe in eX
celIent health and is again the Chief Consulting
Physician of the PEABODY MEDICAL INSTITUTE,
No. Bulfnci, St., Boston, Mass.