davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
FAcETIE.

A Rising Man--The baloonist.
What is the sun hv trade "A Tanner.
An imaginary Quantlty-A ladys age.
An impossible Quaniily-Too much
money.
A common diference-A matrimonial
quabbe.
Something for boys TO spin-A mount
ain top.
When is chimney like chicken
When it is a little foul.
When does the sun stIe?-When
it throws a shadow.
The sting Of bee carries conviction
with it. Ii makes man a bee leaver Mt
once.
During peace regiment is quartered;
during war time it is occasionally cut 10
pieces.
Why Is a grain of sand in the eye like
a scioolmaster cane Because it hurts
the pupil.
Why does the minister have more
wives than any one else p Because he
often marries a couple at time.
Ii is proverblally said that every dog
has his day. If this were true, the dog
days would be more numerous.
A schooImaster 10 Indiana, on going
to his school house on recent morning
found himself locked out by large
number of his scholars, who were on the
inside. He Immediately erected a pole.
assembled to the roof Of the house, and
choked the passage of smoke from the
fue. But they immedif iely took away
his artificial ladder and left him sitting
or the como Of the roof until his fingers
and ears were completely frozen, when
he was allowed to descend.
A merchant going home elevated,
staggered against telegraph pole. Beg
your pardon" said ho; hope no offanse.
LIS rather dark, and the streets are mar
row, y'u see"
In y few minutes he came in contact
with another pole. "Couldn't help it.
SIR" said he. lifting his hat; i never
saw such crooked lanes as we have here
in this city@
Again be ran foul of pole. this time
with force which sent him backward to
the ground. Look here neighbor, you
needn't push fellow down because he
happens to touch you; the road is as
much mine as yours and have as much
right to be here as you have, you old
stick in-the mud p
He picked himself up and made an
other effort to reach his home. but he
soon came plumb against another pole.
81 shan't make any more apologies,
said he; Z" if you get into the middle of
the street and stand in my way, that's
your look out and not mine"
Proceeding on his journey again and
becoming angry and dizzy, he seemed to
he entangled in 40 inextricable labyrinth
of telegraph poles, which led him to
make a general speech. Gentlemen,
you are not doing the fair thing. You
do not give man chance. You run
from one side of the street to the other, |
right in my way"
Just then he met friend. and taking
him by the hand he said: "There is a
procession going along the street, and
every man is drunk; they have been
running against me all the way from the
club. l knocked one of the fellows
down, and one of them knocked me
down, and then lot of them got
around me, and | believe they would
have licked me within an inch of my
life if you had not come to my rescue.
Let US get out of this street before the
procession gets back, for they are oil
drunk.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
9 Z . = q . 9

T0TaE WORKING CT. sS.-Ye are now prepared
a. frrish all cisssSs with constant employment At
home. the whole Of tie time CT for tho spare mo
mants Bnsanoss aew. light and profitable. Persons
O. either sex easily from See 10 s. per evening,
A. nro2srti ,lzl hv devosiEg lh.F whole time
e. the business Bows and -isi~ earn nearly much
a. men Tn.t al xhs, this notice may send tnsr
address snd :he business. mase tie unDarai-
Ieied IL -: r. sueh mol well safisird viii
ssnl 81 70 pa FOR IL, uoabs II Wriii &. Full psr
ticatsrs a valuable sample which viii 10 10 cons
rsuc-. w1-x ~ and a copy II The Peoples Literary
4 imnanian--ane 81 the largest ard best mi.y
rssvxspaD-rs pnbiishsi-all sent tree by mall
Reader, IL you wsnt ertnaa-nt profitable work, adj
dress r. c. ALLEN & CO.. augusta, Maine.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
About a Runaway.
A SCHOOL BOYS COMPOSITIONS.

The horse is an anamale who ia some.
times called brute. He is called q
brute, | suppose, because he often gets
fool things in his head, no man can tell
what, ard acts like brute. This one
| am going to tell about did. You new
eF saw a more SO.
II was hotter morning than a hay
NOV last week. And that was the
morning. And dusty, JENNY! was
full of it,. and in your eyes. aud in your
hair, and ever ything, till you coulden't
live. Well. that was the morning which
this fool horse choosed to run away.
He was pitched on to spring wagon.
Ny! dident he snake that wagon down
Main street in a hurry? 1t was tie bur
rshest thing out. 1t made me laugh for
a while, till saw there wasn't any body
in the wagon. Then ! was frightened
that some man would get run over in
the street which was a shooting before
him. But he dilen't. Neither did the
horse. For he sailed right on, and no
matter.
Cracky but it was fun. Which would
have been much more if there wasen't
anv dust. because it was so thick and
flying so you couIden't see hardly wheth
er the wagon was behind or the horse
was before. or not. But mother she
said she thought it was. This was
maybe because she had her spectacles on
and the dust diden't get into her eyes,
| suppose so. for couldeu't see it.
But o, diden't he whirl that wagon !!
If it bad been full of eggs. l couIden't
helped of laughed. 1t was so jolly to
see that old animal p running fit to split
himself. and nothing AT al to run for,
except just hot and dusty. This was be
cause he is called brute | reckon. o.
may be be is called brute because
this.
At any rate they stopped him, after
he had run down all the street and made
all tue dust there was. Then he stopped
and diden't break the wagon, nor the
harness, nor anything. Then he stop
ped. Which showed that hc was only
in fun. And got in the wagon with
the man that catched him, and rode up
street. and he trotted along just as if he
was an animal something like sheep,
| and waseu't a brute at all.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
DrOvers VS. FOps.

Dinner was spread IN the cabin of that
peerless stea ner the New World and a
splendid company were assembled about
the table. Among the passengers thus
preparing for gastronomlc duty was a
little creature Of the genus fop-decked
dainty as au early butterfly, with kids
of irreproachable whiteness. miraculous
neck tie, and spiderlike quizziug glass on
his nose. The deIicste animal turned
bis head affectedy aside with: swat.
ahp
Bvring me propwellah of female
woost ,h.'
'YIs, sah.'
'And waitah, tell the stewart to wub
my plate with vegetable called an on
ion, which will give delicious flavor TO
my dinuah.'
While the refined exquisite was giving
his order. jolly western dfoyer had
listened with open mouth and protruding
eyes. " hen the dminutive paused, he
brought his INST upon the table with
force that made every dish bounce. and
then Numbered out:
Look here, you gaul darned ace of
spadssP
Yes sah.'
Bring me a laundering big plate of
skunk gilzardsr
'Sahp
And you old ink pot, tuck a horse
blanket under my chin, and rub me down
while feedp
The poor dandy showed pair Of coat
tails instanter-and the whole company
joined in tremendous roar.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15

HORACE GREELEY ON FARMING.-
Greeley gets somo hard hits on his at
tempts to teach agriculture. The Kan
SAYS City Bulletin gives him one in the
following shape:
A Missouri farmer inquired as to tie
probable profit OF raising broom corn in
this state. Mr.. Greeley felt assured that
it would be profitable, but advised his
correspondent to raise tn plain handled
va,i'ty of brooms. inasmuch as they were
a more hardy variety than those with red
and blue rings around the handles.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
BRIGGS 81 BROS
illustrated and Descriptive
Catalogue.

OF FLOW Eli AND EGETABLE
SEEDS, AND SUMNER PIONEERING
BULBS. FOR 1871.
VIII he rsay fos nsiling - the miiile Of January.
ntw outstanding great los x tsle, pager, eugfa-
" = sc-, rs iir-. phIch destroyed tHe job Printing
o. 90 the i chester Democrat ami nr"iic ., 10Th
J. -,lnr i.I5- !. wiIt be printed Il',st giant
new tinted paper ami iiias l.arei with nearly
F1yx HUSnsED ORIGINAL ENGEAvI,Gs.
And two Gn"ly ex.suted Co'Orci Ila.as-specimens
for al ii which grown is ourselves tine past
FsSn from stock e ss.ts- In tit'' original
IT. exe-uti aud extent 4 the eusrsiugs L l. uii-
Ike su ralin-t superior 10 a.. other Catalogue or
Floral ti.ls-ie'' liant.
Tie C4,,Itsc Nii consist Of ll2 PAGES, aud as soon
"a puasiieI # al t. sent fee 10 all who orfered
s-e.lS from - IS mail the last To Others
elaTze 4 Is cents per eapy viii be mad which is
lends that the Inducements offer to purchasers
OF seeds e. quality ana extent If stoc@. discounts
and premiums. are unsurpassed Please send "riers
iUI CATALOGUES without delay.
orr COLOEEB CHR0N0 FOR ISL
WIZ he ready % send out in January. The Chrome
wi represent FpTty-tWo varieties II shuWy and pop
ullF Flowers 4 al siz- and cnl T. We desisat
l9Sz4 -clses. The retail yslue would be 81 least
So. = lars shsi.. hoWr,r furnish il 20 caste"
Iucrs a. - cents vr pF. and offer it as Premium
upon orders FIR Seeds tatnlo -ue when out-
BhIG,ls x BKoTHES, E.cheste5- y. \.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15

gentleman who suffered for years with neT-
vous debility. premature decay. and all the effects
Of youthful indiscretiOn will for the sake Of tuf
fering humanity. send free TO all who need IL the
recipe and direction for making the simple rene
profit by the advertisers experience csn 70 - hy
addre s~inC IN perfect eonGdenss John n. o.esH,
No - Cedar street Nj
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
4 Lecture
To YoUxG MEN.

Just Psblisisei ia scalea enuelopc Price Gets
\ lecture on the nature. treatment and radical
cure OF ~pcrmatOrrhW1. or seminal weakness. in
voluntary emission. sexual debility. and imDedi-
ments 10 marriage generally nervousness son
sumption. epilepsy and fits mental and physical
incapacity. resulting from selfabuSe. &c.-By
RoBERF J CULSERwELL, III ID. author of the
Green Book"
The wOTld-renOwned author in this admirable
7acture proves from his own experience that the
awful consequences Of self-abuse may be effect
usily removed without medicines and without
ofln gerous sergical operations. bOugies, instru-
meRts. rings or cOrtials. pointing ont mode OF
cure at once certain and effectual. by which every
sufferer. no matter WHIT his condition NAV be,
This lecture Will prove boon to thousands and
thousands
Sent under seal to any address. in pain seal
ed envelope. on receipt of cents. or two postage
stamps. Also DR.. Culyerwelrs Marriage Guide
price IS &C nts. Address the publishers, CHAs J.
RsESx Co., 127 B0wssy, n. 7. boa 4,sSs.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
AGENTS WANTED FOR
GOLDEN SHEAVES

VHROM the fields of literature. Containing Sc
II lections from one hundred of the most popu-
lar American and Foreign authors. including Ad-
ans. Bancroft, Bacon. Beecher. Bulwer, Chaplin,
(E HI Carlyle, Cooper, De Quincy, Everett, Emer-
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low Parker, Phillips. PunshOn, Robertson, Rusk-
in. Whateiv, Webster and Others equally celebra-
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and for their strong enforcement of noble ideas.
Six hundred pages. elegant chrome frontispiece
in ten coOrs. and many choice eDgravings. at one
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with the best Of Success
Clergymen. teachers and energetic young men
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agents. on very liberal terms. Send name and
address for circular TO ZEIGLER McCrBrr. Phil
adelphia. Pa. Cincinnati. Ohio. Chicago, III. St.
Louis, Mo. or Springfield, Mars. 30
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15

What trade did Master Jack Homer
of corner celebrity subsequently, adopt
- Probably that Of plumber.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
TO PHYSICIANS
NsnYork. August 18th. 1875

New Y ork. August 18th, 1865
Allow n:s TO call your attention to my Preparation
Of Compound Extract Buehu. The component parts
are, Buchu, Long Leaf, Cubebs, Juniper Berries.
MODE OF PRErARArrox.-Buclru,i in vacno, Juniper
Berries, by distillatiOn, 10 form fine GIN Cubebs
extracted By displacement with spirits obtained nom
Juniper Berries very little sugar is used, and small
proportion of spirit. It is palStabe than any
now in use.
Buchu as prepared by Druggists, isof DARK color.
1t is plsnt that emits its fragrance the action of
fame destroys this Gts active principle,) leaving
dark aud glutinous decoetion. Mine is the color of
ingredients. The Buchu in my preparation predomi-
mates the smallest quantity of the is
are added, to prevent fermentation upon inspection
twill be found not to be a rineture, as made in
PharmacOp@a, nor is it Syrup-and therefore
be used in cases where fever or Inflammation exist
IL thi you have the knowledge of the ingredients
nd the mode of preparation.
Hoping that you will favor it with trial, and that
upon inspection It will with your appreciation,
With feeling Of profound confidence,
/ am, very respectfully,
H.T. HELMBOLD,
Chemist and Druggist of l9 ears Experience
(From helaigest Manufacturing Chemists in the
Worldly
NOVEMBER 1854.
81 ana acquainted with Mr.. H. T. He!mbold; he
occupied the Drug Store opposite my residence and
successful in conducting the business where 9th
had not been equally so before him. have Seer
avorably rnpressed with his character and enter
prise"
WILLIAM 'WEIGHTMAN,
Firm of Powers and weightman, Manufacture n
Chemists, Ninth and Brown Streets; Philade.
phia.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
PRICES--A FAIR OFFER.

Tftae merchants in v0ur place will not furnish
or send Tor the machines. send the retail price,
Washer Sl4. Extra Wrincer -. and We VIII for
ward either or both machines. free of freight. TO
plsc-- where no one = selling; and 80 sure are
we they viii % liked. that agree 10 rcfard the
money If xuv one wishes 10 return the machines
fee % fret ht. after months trial, according TO
directions
No husband. father or brother should permit
the tirlig-ry OF washing with the hands. hfty-twO
DAYS in the wear. when IL can be done better. more
expeiitipusly. with less labor. and no injury to
the garments ny n Doty Clothes Washr. and
Universal Wringer.
Sold by dealers generally. TO whom liberal dis
counts made.
Z BROWNING Gen. ACT.
50 Cortland street, ny
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
A CARD.

4 CLERGY NAN, while residing in South America
n as amissionary, discovered safe and simple
remedy for the OF nervous weakness early decay
diseasesOf the urinary and seminal organs, and tho
whole train 81 disorders brought by baDeful and
vicious habits. Great numbers have been cured by
this noble remedy. Prompted by desire TO benefit
the afflicted and unfortunate wilsend the recipe for
preparing and usngthis medicine in a sealed enVel-
ope, 10 any one no meets tyREE oFCHARGE.
Address, JOSEPH T. INMAN,
SAL Station Bible House, " City
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
.y;e,C .fdrcrtiscmemfs.

Wy ATCH FREE. and $50 day sure End no hum
w bug. address LATTA 8 Co., PitfsbnFs, Pc. Nv
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
r,,uE NEW YORK DAY BooK.--rhe

TIME NEW YORK DA1 BOOkA.--Ihc
4 Champion of white sap srnary against the world
"A fr=t-class eight page Democratic weekly, estsb-
Ished in ls50 s. per year, 81 for six months. SUBJ
scribe for it, For specimen copies, address " DAT
BOOk Aew Xork CITY,"
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
DVs :. FITCU,s Family Phvsician.
New Work safety Steam Power Co

% pages; E.nt BY mali free. Teaches how to
re al diseases - fiie person. skin. hair. eyes, COM
rleAian. Write T. IA broadway. New York,
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
To COnsuampfiVes.

The advertiser, having been permanently cured
OF that dread disease consumption by simple
remedy. is anxious TO make known to his fellow
sufferers the cure To all who desire it he Will
send a copy of the prescription used Gree Of
charge with the directions for preparing and using
the same, which they will find a sure cure for
consumption, asthma, bronchites, &C
dress Rev. Edward A. Wilson, l65 South Second
Street, Wiiamsbnrgh, n
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15

A GENTS wANTED-(S225 A MONTHLY
IA the AMERICAN KNITTING MACHINE Co., Boston :,
Mass, or St. Louis No. 3S-4w
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
FREE TO BOOK AGENTS.


for Groeshecks calculating machine rapid accurate
reliable, simple easily operated, cheap and b. autifu-
Giving ins tantaneOus additions subtractiOas ia
king from to FIVE columns Of figures at time car.
rylpg and borr' wing its tens. hundreds, etc.
without the easl thought the part If the operate
Address ZIEGLER MCCURDY, Chicago, III.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15

= Steam Engines. yel'n ssG without cutoff, and
Sectional Sary -tsaln Bniii> bit ia quantities b.
special rschiLery send Tor cireuiar, a. Cortland ST.
Hea Ycr1.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-02-15
3 O'CLOCK.
The Magic Comb win cha

msnent black or brown. 1t contains no poison. One
comb sent by mail for 81 alers supplied reduced
rates. Address VIM. Patton Treas Spripgf cid Macs
The New York herald., 1871-09-26
Personal Intelligence.

viscount Villain. OF the Belgian Legation, Is domi-
ciled at the Abemarle.
Secretary OF state Homer A. Nelson, is registered
at the Fifth Avenue
Judge Sloane, of North Carolina, Is among the
late arrivals at the st. Nicholas
Senator Bayard, Of Delaware, Is at the New YORK
HOTEL
c. Franguelo, OF the Spanish Legation. yesterday
arrived at the Abemarle.
Ex-Governor Bullock, OF Massachusetts, Is again
at the Fifth Avenue.
Senator Poland, Of Vermont Is among the late ar
rivals al the Grand Central.
General d. c. Littejonn, OF Oswego, has quarters
at the Fifth Avenue.
Captain Murray, OF the steamer Baltic, Is staying
at the Everett House.
General Stockton, OF New Jersey, Is again at the
ST. James.
Generals Hartsuff and Steadman OF the United
States Army, are quartered at the HOFFMAN.
General w. II. Reynolds, OF Rhode Island, Is regis
tered at the New YORK.
Judge Field, OF Albion, Is again st the Fifth
Avenue.
Professor Lansing. Of Massachusetts,, Is at the St.
Nicholas
John O. Evans, OF Washington, Is at the Gilsey
Honse
The New York herald., 1871-09-26

THE PEOPLE ALONG THE SEACoAsT OF
VIRGINIA and North and South Carolina have
been frightened by prophecy, and are fleeing
to the interior, with their household goods, to
escape tidal wave which is supposed to be
due all along that coast on the 9th of October.
There is no ridiculing these people out Of
their fears, for we know that the great earth
quake and tidal wave in st. Thomas in 1867
was foretold a year before by German phi
losopher. Agassz has been called upon to
allay their fears by scientific reasoning; but
they have not been convinced SO far, and the
exodus continues
The New York herald., 1871-09-26
TR p L E SHE E T
New York. Tuesday, September 26, 1871.
CONTENTS OF TO.DAY,S HERALD.

FACE.
1-Advertisements.
2-Advertisements.
S-Ben Butler: The Fight in Massachusetts, Grow.
ing Hotter-The Republican Rally: The
coming state Convention at Syrdcuse-An
OBrlen Banner Raising-Kings County Poll
ucs-Amusements-Natlona Commercial Con-
ven;Ion.
4-Tottering Tammany: Drawing in the Lines Be-
lore the Coming Conventions-The Joint Com
mlttee-The Stolen VOuchers-Tammany In
the Irares-DeRth in Dentistry: Young
Lady Dies IN Brooklyn While Under the Infu
ence or Chloroform-Brooklyn Common Coun-
cil-Close Of the Jewish Day OF Atonement.
S-tlnancal and Commercial Reports-DOmestic
Mafkets-Murderous Onslaught-Pinked in the
Park-The Tenth Avenue Murder-Mllitary
Notes-A Brutal Father-Cty Government
Marriages and Deaths.
6-Editorials: Leading Article, "The Republican
STATE conventions In New York and MaSsa-
chusetts-A Crisis IN Each to the Republican
Pafty'-AmuSement Announcements.
5-The situation IN France-News from Spain,
En- land, Denmark, Switzerland and Rou-
mana-1he Wharton Poisoning Case-Obit-
uary-Ftendlsh outrage by Negroes in West
Nlrglnia-News from Washington-Weather
Report-Mscellaneou Telegrams-vews OF
the Past-Business Notices.
S-RObbery in Observation-Disclosures
9-Advertisements
1O-Aquatic Sporrs-Proceedings In the Courts
Newark Ahead-Yellow Fever in Charles on
The O'Brlen Homlcide-Is Trenton Gong
DownS-Shipping Intelligence-Advertise
ments.
J1-Advertlsements.
12-AdvertiSements.
The New York herald., 1871-09-26

contest, when Wendell Phillips was the chief
trumpeter of General Butler in behalf of labor
reform and the breaking up of that close cor
poration, the Boston republican Ring, and
when this new party Of labor reformers and
the wOmens rights women appeared to be the
main reliance of Butler, his courageous can
vass seemed to us as profitless as the daring
charge of Don Quixote upon the windmills.
Now, however, when it appears that, with all
the orthodox republican Puritans and all their
newspapers combined against him, his friends
claim q majority of the twelve hundred dele
gates of the regular Republican State Conven-
tion, and his enemies begin to doubt their
ability to defeat him, his strength among the
Massachusetts republicans, rank and file, can
only be accounted for upon the ground that he
has the moral support OF General Grant, and
that the real fight in Massachusetts is between
Grant and Sumner for the vote of the State in
the Republican Presidential Convention, as
the real fight among the New York republic
cans, ridiculous as it may appear, is between
the friends of Grant on the one side and Fem
ton and Greeley on the other side for the
White House as the shortest way to get at
Collector Murphy
Now what will be the upsbot Of this Massa-
chusetts Republican State Convention 1t
will be the nomination of Butler for Governor
and his election as the republican candidate,
which will be decisive victory for General
Grant over Senator Sumner, or it will perhaps
be split of the Convention into two parties
Butler and an anti-Butler party-for the
protracted struggle anticipated by the General
means doubtful issue. In the event of re-
publican split Mr.. John Quincy Adams, the
democratic candidate for Governor, will most
likely be elected, and in any event the grand
issue of this Butler campaign will be the
breaking up of the power Of Sumner as the
contestant for the Presidential nominating
votes of Massachusetts, against General Grant.
Thus, as Gratz Brown and Carl Schurz in
quarrelling with the President over his division
of the federal spoils of Missouri bolted and
turned over that State to the democrats, so
Fenton and Greeley in New York in their
quarrel over the Custom House pap, and Sum-
ner and Wilson in Massachusetts, in their
mixed quarrel with the President over Sum-
ner's wrongs may do similar good turn for
the democratic party.
The New York herald., 1871-09-26

FRANCE PAYING UP.-A cable despatch,
which we print this morning, has it that
President Theirs is ready to pay Immediately
the fourth half milliarl Of the German indem-
nifty. Who will deny that France has done
well in the midst of her great misfortunesf
A month or two more and German soldiers
will no longer offend French pride by their
presence on French soil. A nation that can
behave so we'll in such circumstances must
yet, at no distant day, arise and reassert her
Importance. Why will not Frenchmen be true
to themselves2