South-eastern Independent. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1871-1871, 1871-07-14
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
MANY a good man leaves an inheritance
in the Mutual Life, of Chicago.
The London Spectator declares that
nothing can be made absolutely safe from
fire.
SIN, you have the advantage of me.
"Quite right; you are quite right, sir. AL
most everybody Of common sense has"
GREAT BRITAIN spends as much in two
days on liquors as she does IN year on
foreign missions.
Pans, Ky., boasts of horse which,
having cast shoe, jumped out of his en-
closure, went to blacksmith shop and
mad himself shod.
To destroy ants, the best plan is proba-
bly, 10 catch the snt with pair of tweez-
eTs, and hit him square on the head with
a sledge- hammer.
| 4 LOUISVILLE ply who analysed
a sample Of the "cream candy" sold there,
found thst mere than one-eIghth of the
entire bulk was Terra alta.
LEGGINGs (sarcastic)-YOa know lot
about 'osses, don't you; which side do you
| generally get up? BOOTS (acetious)-Wel,
outside as a rule.-sJudy.
A POOR topper, as last resort for more
drink, took his Bible to pawn for liquor,
but the landlady refused to take it.
"Well," said he, "if she won't take my
word or Gods word, it's time to give it
up" And he went and signed the pledge
and kept it faithfully.
THE lady who carried off the chemical
prize at the University of Edinburgh
(Scotland) was the highest of 240 candi
dates. Having been declared ineligible to
receive the prize on account of her sex,
Sir Titus Salt sent her e1O0, but she de-
clined to accept it.
ABOUT a year ago child, whose parents
reside in Indianapolis, swallowed thimble
having an open top. Ever since it has
subsisted on food in liquid form, chiefly
milk. Everything of solid nature is i'm
mediately thrown up if the child makes
an attempt to swallow it. Eighteen
doctors have unsuccessfully endeavored to
find and remove the obstruction. The
child is healthy and fat.
A FRENCH Canadian, guest at Mon
treal hotel, was greatly alarmed when the
proprietor told him that if he had any
money he would do well to have it put in
the safe He felt convinced that the in
tention was to rob and perhaps murder
him, and at night, hearing somebody talk
ing in an adjoining room, he jumped out
of his window to the ground, distance
of forty feet. Fortunately he was not
much injured.
IRON telegraph poles have been substi-
tuted for wooden ones on the line between
Berlin and POtsdam, and along the rail-
way from Weissenfels to Gers, with such
satisfactory results that it is now proposed
to introduce them on all Prussian lines.
In Switzerland they have also been salts
factOrily tried. 1t is claimed that they
will last so much longer than wooden ones
that they will be cheaper in the end, while
they are much more pleasing to the eye.
A LADY died two years ago in Troy, and
left her property to her nephew, with the
provisO in the will, that if he ever offered
the farm for sale, the property should be
forfeited to a certain church. The place
was offered for sale few months ago, and
have decided that the conditions of the
will were against "public policy" and
have declared the provision null and void
JOHN VAN BUREN was dining in sa-
loon, having just cleared a man from some
charge in the court, when the complainant
in the case, angry at the lawyer who had
beaten him, walked up and roundly abused
Prince John. "Could there be any man"
said he, $50 wicked, so mean, so vile, who
could possibly commit crime so foul that
YOU wouldn't defend him for it?" al
don't know" said the Prince, sucking in
another oyster right from the shell, "what
have you been doing%
A PATRIoTIc FoUR-YEAR-OLD.-Par-
son Thomas, of Dayton, o., d. d. of
good repute snd fine quality, has son of
sprightly parts and progressive ideas. This
son had been visiting at the house of fe-
male relation, where he took some prima-
ry lessons in the history of the American
Revolution, and how the Americans whip
ped the Britishers. The lad returned
home full of his new subject, and at the |
tea-tsble said to his father: "Pa, be you a
British?" "Yes, my son, was born in
England" "Well, we whipped youl" re-
torted the patriotic Young American.
THE following is related as an incident !
of the sacking oe Paris: "A boy of thir-
teen, found fighting, was taken to be shot |
He took a silver watch from his pocket, |
and cried out: Captain, do let me take |
this first to friend across the street; |
borrowed it. 'Ohl you scamp said the |
officer, l understand; you want to run |
Off My word of honor. l will come |
back again. said the boy, and the captain, |
seeing it was child, was only too glad to |
get nd of him. In ten minutes the boy |
came back, and took his stand with his |
face to the wall. Here l am; firep Does |
Roman history tell us anything Drawer? |
The captain boxed the little hero's ears,
and ordered him never to show his face |
there again. They could not fire on him"
/ HEARD, yesterday, little story which |
goes to show that truth can be as strange |
as fiction whenit has its mind made up to |
the result. A gentleman, who did not live |
very happily with his wife, concluded to |
obtain divorce, and soon after doing so /
changed his name, in order to avoid GER
tain little unpleasantnesses His wife took |
her maiden name, and the twain became |
two flesh as much as it was possible for |
them to be. Afterward he met a charm
ing widow from California, and, after
brief courtship, he violated the principle
of the adage about the burnt child by mar
rying her. One evening she proposed to
him to call on her sister, whom she had
not seen for years, and whose address she
had just ascertained. Smith, as l will call
him, consented, and the visit was made.
Smith was slightly taken aback to find that
the sister was his eX wife, though Mrs. S.
was Ignorant of the fact. And there was
more surprise when it was found that the
ex-wife had Just been married to the ex-
husband of Mrs. Smith No 2, who was
only widow by brevet, having been di-
vorced in q Western State, on account of
incompatibility of temper" The visit
was brief one, and was never renewed.
-Neso York Letter.