The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-09-10
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY. SEPTKABER 10, ie7i.
WIT AND WIGD0X.

Early Pearl-A baby's tooth.
Tho Tailor's Reconsideration.
The Fate Of Flowers-To be blowed.
"Not at Home."-An out-and- out lie.
Walking Sticks-Promenading swells.
The Cap Of Liberty--An extinguisher.
Police Intelligence" -Surely . misno-
mer.
A Cure for sipation-Stay at home
opatby.
The Worship of Backers-The favorite,
of course.
The Wife's Secret-Her opinion Of her
husband.
Transported for life-The man who mar
ries happily.
How to get Roaring Trade-Buy
menagerie.
At what time of day was Adam oroatedi
A little before Eve.
Few amateurs can play Shylock; few
actors can do q Jew.
How to Overcome your Sorrows-Strike
one Of your own signs.
Blessed are tho peace makers-even If
they make Ae!d pieces.
What relation is the door-mat to the
p-sefaper A step-farther.
Nautical-Is it only . dishonest tar who
would take mesmate's watchf
Men are like potatoes-they do not know
how soon they may be in hot water.
Shallow brooks and shallow old men aud
women pass their whole time in babbling.
The coat of q horse 10 the gift of nature.
That of an ass 10 often the work Of tailor.
What is Communism Geese, donkeys
and wolves feeding of the same common.
The young woman who was " driven to
Distraction" now fears she will have to
walk back.
A drummer ia the fastest man in the
world, because time beats all men, but the
drummer beats time.
How to make a thin baby fat-Throw it
from third-story window, and it is sure
to come down plump.
Who is the most successful surveyor on
record Alexander Selkirk, for he became
"monarch of all he surveyed"
What is the difference between an auc-
ton and sea-sicknessf One ia the sale of
efects-the other the effects Of o sail.
Breathes there man with soul 80 dead
who never to himself hath said-1 wish
that fellow would pay me what he owes
me.
A correspondent wants to know whether,
considering the great utility Of the ocean,
poets are not wrong in calling it a "waste
of water"
What requires more philosophy than to
take things as they comet To part with
them MS they 60, of course, when the
brokers are in.
western editor asserts that he was born
gentleman" The utmost that any
ordinary person can claim is that he was
born gentle baby.
When we read the most interminsble
sentences of some writers, we cannot help
thinking that their readers are in danger of
being sentenced to death.
On gatepost in front of . farmhouse in
Illinois, is q sign, which aeads as follows:
"Take warnin'--no tracs, or life inshurans,
nor so-in-masheens wanted hear"
Barham, on hearing that process had
been discovered for reducing parchment to
gelatine, exclaimed, "That is good, for now
a man not only eats his words, but his
deeds ALSO"
A fence in Chicago bears the flaming in
scription, "Use DR.. Is Cough Bitters,"
and following it, in still larger letters, is
the appropriate warning, "Seek first the
kingdom OF God"
much exercised in mind to know how 1t Is
that q little quicksilver in glass-tube can
make such awfully hot weather by just
rising it an inch or two.
An illustrated paper returns thanks to
the different railway companies, ing, in
it's candor, "We really don't know what
we should do for illustrations if it wasn't
for the railway accidents"
A bare headed, bare-footed little boy
astonished q worshipiDg congregation in a
Massachusetts town on a recent Sunday, by
rushing into church, exclaiming: "Where's
my papaf TIE pigs are out"
"There is but one good wife in this
town." said Clergyman in the course OF
his sermon-the congregation looked ex-
pectant-" and every married man thinks
he's got her." added the minister.
Boat captains are more than ever both
cred by nervous tourists, whose first ques
ton Invariably is, "Where is the boiler
Captain Z" Informed as to that point, they
hurriedly ask if there is any defect in it.
construction, and wheref
A correspondent asks, and then answers
the following riddle: What is the differ
ence between passion for chignons and 9
storm at seat One is raging main, and
the other is q raging mania. Yes, and oul
correspondent is raging maniac Judy
This ditty has resulted from a nuptia
cnDtrocf racantly entered into nv MT