The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-10-04
RREvITIEs,

BREvITIEs,
The fastest city in the world-eIec-
tri-city.
A nude Experimentation and Eve
leaving Eden.
pa An oE-hand fellow-one who has
lost both his arms.
Dogs beats dcntists-They insert
natural teeth.
A rare edition (among modern nov
els)-The second.
.sThe best Policy"-That which
pays. the largest dividend.
Sunday last was the anniversary of
the battle of Antietam.
Two heads are better than one,' as
the gentleman remarked to the celery.
Rumsey, the well known negro min
strel is dead.
The sugar crop of Louisiana for the
: year Just ended was l44,S81 hogsheads.
Young folks grow most when in
love. 1t increases their signs won
derfully.
If the ants give an example of in.
dustry, it is much more than a good
many uncles do.
WHY is buttermilk like something
which never happenedf Because it
hasn't a curd ~(occurred.)
When a person declares that his
brains is on fire, is it etiquette to blow
it out?
Why are cashmere shawls like deaf
people7 Because you can't. make
them here.
A fashionable lady of Brooklyn
acknowledges the corn-fourteen OF
'em on one foot. --
Railways are aristocratic. They
teach every man to know his own sta
ton, and stop there.
Why is the letter q like death?-
It makes ghosts of hosts, and is al
ways insthe midst of slaughter.
When a lady Esings to you, Come
rest in this BOSOM don't you do it
L. ll.-I - ,,o- aor hn r0nnl
An irish lover remarked that it was
q great pleasure to be alone, especially
when your sweetheart was with We.
It is no longer fashionable to give
presents to your sweethearts before
marriage
In Richmond, Indiana, a Judge fined
a woman, and she found his nose and
pulled it.
The young colored, boys of Rich
mond. have formed an association
called the "Infant Sons of Love-"
When.an Australian asks a friend
to take q glass of wine he says Let us
kiss the baby.
A stable boy from Salem Massa-
chusetts, has picked up a 800, 900
diamond in South Africa,
A Missourian and his wife and sew
en- children walked twenty five miles
to see a show.
French peasants generally wear
wooden shoes, yet France consumes
more leather. than any other country.
Over SIS, OOO, 900 of the Virginia
State debt has been funded to date,
being one-third OF the whole debt.
Why should young ladies set a good
example? Because young men are so
apt to follow them.
Ar, exchange, wanting to compli-
ment a Live Stock Journal, says it is
edited by a man whose head is chuck
Z full Of live stock.
Can you tell me what a smile is
asked a gentleman of a q little GIRL
Yes, sir; it is the wee whisper of q
laugh E
An experienced old gentleman says
that all that is necessary in the enjoy
ment of love or sausage is confidence.
Mrs. Darlington says there must be
some sort of kin between poets and
pullets, for they are always chanting
their lays.
If all the worlds stage, and men
and women merely players, where are
the audience and orchestra to come
from?
It begins to look ominous when the
woman of the period wants her club ;
she used to be satisfied with her broom
stick.
1t is an interesting sight to see a
young lady with both hands in soft
dough, and a mosquito on the end of
her nose.
, A lady of color, Boosting of the
progress made by her son in arithme-