The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-12

troduced in Philadelphia, to be sold
with other harmless fireworks, which is
one of the best arrangements for pre-
venting a superhuity Of children ever
thought of. 1t is the size, shape and
color of sugar-plum, and being mis-
taken for such by a small boy, the 9TH
er day, came very near blowing the
top of his head off, and left, as it was,
an impression which will disfgure him
for life. ....
A well-known officer in Auld Reekie
was celebrated for his cunning and wit,
His mother having died in Edinburgh,
he hired hearse and carried her to
the family burial place in the High
lands. He returned, it is said, with
the hearse full of smuggled whisky,
and being abused about it by friend,
he said, "Wy, man, there's no ham
done. L only took ava the body and
brought back the spirit" i % ...
Last week there was report that at
Newport French Count had eloped
with the wife of D New York gentle-
man. The news went to New York,
and within twenty four hours, it is said
over one hundred desperate individ-
Ga.iis came on suddenly, to see their
wives at that fashionable watering
place. What an exhibition Of conjugal
confidence.
A schoolmaster who asked asked
small pupil of what the surface of the
earth consists and was answered
Gland and water" varied the question
slightly that the fact might be Impress
ed on the boys mind, and asked,
"What, then do land and water make?"
to which came the immediate re-
sponse, "Mud." .....
The Lord Chancellor of Great
Britian was made the medium of a
Sunday School presentation to the
Princess Louise, recently. The pres
ent was Bible, given by the Sunday
School children of the United King
dom. and on its acceptance the princess
made charming i;:tle speech.
A gentleman of Connecticut, who is
something of a sportsman, went to
sleep in church on one of the late
warm Sundays, dreamed he was hunt
ing rabbits. During an eloquent pas
sage in the sermon he espied in his
dream a rabbit, and startled the con-
gregation by shouting ''There he goes"
One Sunday recently minister
in Iowa advised the sisters to mortify
Satan by giving their jewelry to the
Church on the next Sabbath evening.
The result was galvanized watch and
three brass finger-rings. "They are a
mean set Of sinners" said the parson.
'It's desp'rt thing" said old Joe
Smykers; "a desp'rt thing! That ere
young couple who've been billin' and
cooin, and maxim eyes at one another
for O month, have now gone to the
minister and got permit TO see If they
can't keep it up for lifetime"
An anecdote is told of young lady
of Harrisburg, who was recently on
riding excursion. The horse COM
menced kicking, when she, in the most
simple manner, requested her compan.-
ion to get out s.ld hold the a.,o,rse's leg.
or he m'eent injure t..ie vehicle.
The Memphis Appeal says: ''As the
coci weather may be expected in a few
weeks preparations are being made for
a vigorous religious campaign in our
churches this Fall" For the sake of
Memphis, we ask for cool weather.
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe, Miss Char
lotte Cushman, Fanny Fern, Colonel
Higginson, James Parton, and other
literary people have joined hands in a
picnic club which meets once a week
at Newport.
81 say, Jones, that's shocking bad
hat of yours. Why do you wear such
a hideous thing?" Because, my deah
fellah, Mrs. Jones declares she will
not go out of the house with me till (
get better one"
A Dubuque hasband cut off his
wiie's hair when she was asleep, and
/ purchased jug of whisky with it.
An unpoetieal youth described bis
fGnees's hair as frizzled in front, aud
! fricaSseed and scrambled at the back.