Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1871-12-09
Rough Humor In California.

Not far from San Jose lived an old lady whose
frugality has verged so closely upon parsimony
that she has actually the reputation OF being
misery. She has a son, whose Wild habits dis
solute;ways and propensity for PLAYING practical
Jokes will some day lead him 20 the gallows or
editing daily paper in San Jose. Next, but by
no means least, in the trio whose names will be
passed down to history through this recital, is q
worthy representative of the fOwry kingdom
named All Skoot-the latter very fond of expert
ment. Now to the facts: Not long since
PARTY consisting of a bakers dozen OF San Jose
adde's visited the rancho, where the Old
lady, by raising chickens, keeps the wolf
cent piece into the deacon's hat as he takes
mp the weekly contribution on Sunday.
The ladies belonged TO the ''sewing circle" and
the old lady determined in the fulness Of her
heart to decaptate a chicken upon which these
thirteen hungry Christians were to dine. All
SkOot received his orders to that effect, and i'm
mediaiely repaired TO the poultry yard to carry
Them into execution (the orders. not the poui
try. How Ia catch a chicken in the day time
was now the difficult problem which exercised
The brain of the Chinee. About this time jim.
SHOOTS interrogatioRs answered in this wise:
"NOw, look here, Skoot, you Jest git some
corn, and I'll go and git the gun, and III
tell you what to do them The necessary
articles were duly procured. The hope
ful James lad loaded the gun plumb up to the
muzzle, and telling Skoot TO throw down some
corn, about 300 chickens put in An appearances.
Now the Chinaman, as before stated, was quite
fond of experiments, and reaching for the gun
he took aim at a noble rooster, who, towering
above the others in the pride Of his yoath and
roOsterhood was entirely unsUspiciOus OF the
coming storm. 1t is perhaps needless to state
that James immediately ensoonced himself
behind large tree, out OF harms way. About
this time a report, which would have done credit
to q "a FOUNDER, aroused the folks in the house,
who, en- masse, rushed out To the scene of the
slaughter. AT first nothing vas visible but
smoke and dust, ext about two score OF chickens
were rising and falling. Topping and squeaking
The ground was streWn With the mangled re-
mains of about - more, while the remainder Of
This once Interesting flock we're making for
reighbOring ranches, to avoid another earth
quake. But what of All SkOot? Did that mass
Of torn and disheveled rags resemble the once
FESTIVE youth whose delight had once been to ex-
pertinent? IL was he. The kind Indies ap-
preached him, and tenderly, oh, so tenderly,
raising his head, they eSsayed ~ administer
spiritual consolation from an old black bottle,
which the old lady had produced. BY and by
the distorted features showed signs OF animation,
seeing which the old lady said: Speak To me,
Skooty! Oh, speak to mei'' John raised his
head and gave vent to the following: "Speakee.
Wassy matter speaky? More biandy, more
Handy; G-n d-m. too mutchy shootvlr II
isPerhaps unnecessary too add that John Is now
in quest OF another situation.-Scp trdH,isco
ChrCaicte.