The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1871-07-08
Foreign Gossip.

I6SGn, III I1uLSary.
In many German villages oak and
linden trees have been planted, with
many joyful observances, in honor OF
the return of peace.
NINETEEN books written by German
Catholic professors have been placed
hibitOratD1.
LOUIS XII, speaking to Bassompirre,
his Ambassador to the Court Of Spain,
remarked" You cannot imagine how
/ laughed when l heard You entered
Madrid ON mule lust to think
jackass on donkey I" Very true,
sire, but you must remember | repre-
sened you at that time!
ACCORDING to French statistician,
the average man has, at the age of so,
slept 5000 days, worked $500 days,
walked 800 days, amused him-sel 4, 600
days, spent !, 200 in eating, and been
sick 800 days. He has eaten 1900
pounds of bread, 16, 900 of meat, and
1900 pounds of vegetables, fish, cts,
and drank 1000 gallons Of liquids,
PETER the Great, on visit to the
House of Parliament in London, noticed
about thirty gentleman clad i'll long red
togas and powdered wigs g Who are
they he asked OF his cicerone.-
"Those gentlemen are lawyers. Claw
yers indeed so many as that Why
| haven't but two in Russia, and intend
hanging one on my return.
LAToUR, celebrated 6oufe actress
In Paris, was once at supper with sew
eral friends, and during the converse
ton happened to make a bad pun; a
creUe, seated opposite, cried out, "Oh,
| beg of you, Mademoiselle, do not say
such ridiculous things, it pal rs me -
"Pray, sir, asked the actress, /" have
you patent-right out for making stu
pid remarks %
A SPLENDID story is told of Marshal
Mcmahon when a Colonel. During a
parade he had an alteration with an
officer III the ranks, who refused to obey
him. Mcmahon finally threatened the
offender, and the latter drawing a pis-
tol took deliberate aim and fired for
tunately the cap snapped. Without
the slightest sign Of fear, cool and inn
passible Mcmahon said: "Give that
man fifteen days, soUe dc police, for
hoU51ag his arms OH Of order 20
The grut1 old Captain p was once
half bored to death by certain Impulse
tive passenger, but he silenced him
however, when the latter, pointing to a
COW on the lower deck, remarked
" That's a nice COW, Captain" Yes.
sir. els 1T the only COW on board r.
Yes" Have YOU no other animals
on board 2" " No, sir, with the excep-
ton of the one in front OF me- Cur
ioua passenger suddenly thought he
saw a porpoise and rushed for his
opera glass.
\ STUDENT who had been imbibing
COpiOus draughts of grape essence, and
who was revelling in a harmless state
OF inebriation, overheard two gentle
men discussing the merits OF the cele-
brated Calico.
The worshipper Of Bachus interrupt
ed the speaker by observing that ac-
cording TO his ideas and views on the
subject, Calico was fool.
Why so many mental calculations
to discover that the earth reyolves.
Three bottles of Burgundy enabled me
INA CnaC OuL.
ALEXANDER Dumas IT'S assisted at q
grand dinner given in Paris before the
siege. and was particularly witty and
sat1rlcal during the TepaSt. In the course
of the conversation he happened TO al
Jude to rather delicate subject con
corning one Of his best friends. The
latter called on him the next dav, and
mildly demonstrated, Mon cher. YOU
are very witty, | confess, and your tai
ent in that line is known, but, really,
you are not obhging, and [ am sure
you would sacrifice your best friend for
the sake of IL good joke, " /" Most as
suredly," answered Dumas, q friends
pass away, but good sayings live forev-
en-"
MOZART once made bet with HAYDN
that he would write piece of music
the latter could not play. The wager
was accepted and Mozart sat down and
scrubbed melody on a slip OF blank
paper, and Haydn began TO read it at
sight. In the middle of The tune there
was IA note to be struck Iii the centre
the piano, while the right and left hand
was a continued tremolO movement. -
Haydn could not strike the middle note.
his hands being occupied, and detied
Mozart to accomplish the feat So Mo
Fart went to work, and on coming to
the difficult passage struck the middle
note with his nose. Haydn's nasal pro-
tuberance WAS too fat and dumpy to
the wager.