New Orleans Republican., 1871-07-16
For the. Sunday Republican,
MIR. SAMUEL PIPKIN'S MISTAKE.
Why He Could Not Get His Life Insured
BY ZOE,

Samuel Pipkin was bachelor. Mr.. PHI
Kin was pretty well off in the world, as tn
phrase goes-that is, he inherited from hi
father a small farm, with an unpretendin
house upon it, but it yielded him an ampl
support, by dint ofeconomy and untiring la
Dor. Besides living, as he did, near the CapOl
mountains, in Hampshire county, Virginia
''afar from the busy haunts of man." b
needed but little in the way Of luxury o
dress, so each year he increased his income
Mr.. Pipkin had two maiden sisters of al
uncertain age" who, being very tired o
toiling, and desiring to add to their posses
sions, and provide for an easy, comfortabl,
old age, particularly" as they said, 81
any accident should happen to theil
brother" had often talked the matter over
E'what they could do" But, being very
ignorant of much that happens in the out
side world, they could arrive at nothing
tangible.
Happening to 60 to a small country
store, few miles off, they made some pur-
chases and then returned. On the outside
of one parcel (which was enveloped in a
newspaper) there was something which at
tracted the eyes of Miss Nancy. She instant
ly exclaimed, "Oh Bette, here it is, now
this is the very thing we have wanted,
though have never heard talk of such a
thing before. We must coax brother to go
and get it done" So theyread it over and
over, and each time only strengthened their
belief in it.
1t was an advertisement and circular, de-
scribing the advantages of life insurance.
''Now, how odd that we should see this
when we should have so long been trying to
find something" So, accordingly, they
showed it to their brother, and urged him to
go to Baltimore, and apply for life insur
ance, to be made over to them in case of any
accident TO him. He required much persua-
sion, for he had not been to that city since he
was mere boy. He promised them that if
they would give him two weeks to reflect
upon it, provided he could satisfy himself
that it would not ''kill him outright and all
was fair and honest about it, he would
acquiesee. Accordingly after deliberation,
which caused him several sleepless nights,
his resolution was taken. He decided to go.
Many were the preparations made, and
much hustle and stir in the little household
consequent upon such an important step
"a visit to Baltimore to get his life insured"
So off he went to attend to the joint requests
of his sisters forthwith. Mr.. Pipkin was
truly model brother.
Mr.. Pipkin was growing fat That is =
persons of ordinary minds might say so,-
his sister called him "portly" preferring
that word to the gross expression Of fat.
Be this as it may however, Mr.. Pipkin was
very thick set, and very short in stature,
his walk was complete waddle. His eyes
were small, round and Oakland when ex-
cited they glistened like little 'black cut
beads" his cheeks were like two bouncing
apples, and the distance between his fat
chin and his chest so brief-taking into the
account, constant habit of wheeling, when
over excited - that it seemed doubtful
whether there was room for a windpipe-
Mr., Pipkin always breathed through his
nose.
When he arrived in Baltimore, he of
course went to good hotel, and after par
taking of a comfortable dinner, he sailed |
forth for the purpose of applying for life |
Insurance.
The door of the agent was Immediately |
opposite that of brokers' Office, and mis- |
taking the entrance, Mr.. Pipkin entered the |
latter, where two or three idle clerks were |
assembled after dinner, with no business on |
their hands, and ready for any fun or mer-
riment; for it was the dull season, and the |
weather was very warm, the suns rays had |
been omnipotent all day, not breath of
air was stirring; one might suppose that
the sky was lined with brass.
Poor Mr.. Pipkin was almost beside him
self with heat and fright; he, however,
made known the object of his call, in a
verv bland, artless manner, when the |
elder of the clerks winked at his COM
panions, and in a very polite way, assured |
the gentleman they were ready to wait |
upon him.
The old gentleman, unused to examina- |
thought, more severe trials than he expected, |
and his head began to swim like top; so |
be thought he would take chair-when, |
ust in the act of doing this, the chair was |
withdrawn from behind him |
and he came to the floor with heavy bump, |
causing sensation, he declared to be the |
most extronnery." But, of course, it |
to him to be purely accidental, and |
Mr. Pipkih, with one hand, raised his hat |
over his nose, and applied the other vigor-
Dusly to brush off the dust his new home |
spun encountered from contact with the |
floor. In moment after he had got to |
rights, and drawing up the chair, he tamely |
submitted to be interrogated:
"What is your name, residence and occu-
pation!"
my name is Pipkin. l am from Hamp-
shire county, Virginia. am farmer"
Where were you born?"
Where l have always lived"
"Ahw echoed the clerk, turning gravely
to his companions, "he is native Ameri-
can: will that dol" The other nodded his
head in assent. Mr.. Pipkin began to find
the room very warm.
: "What is your age, Mr.. Pippin ?"
"Pipkin is my name, sir.
"Well, give me your exact age, Mr.. Pip
kin"
Il am forty-six."
care you married or SINGLE" !