Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1871-01-21
ANumREEs OF BULLS.

What is bullG The best definition we
have heard is: When you see twelve cows
all lying down on the grass, and one of
them standing up, that ones bull.
Chow is your husband this morning,
Mrs. Quiggsi" ''Why, the doctor says as
how if he lives till morning he shall have
some hopes of him; but if he don't he
must give him up"
An Irish gentleman, hearing of friend
| having q stone coffin made for himself,
exclaimed: ''By my sowl, an that's
good idea2 Shure, an stone coffin 'ud
last man his lifetime!"
An Irishman went to live in Scotland
for a short time, but didn't like the coun-
try. 81 was sick all the time l was
there, said he; ''and if had lived there
till this time, I'd been dead year sgol"
1t was at the dinner of an Irish associ-
alton that the following toast was given:
''Here's to the President of the Society
Patrick O'Rafferty; an may he live to
eat the chicken that scratches over his
grave"
Sir Roche once said, In reference to
persons, all relations to each other, but
to have no descendants, that cit seemed
to be hereditary in the family to have no
| children"
The author of a recent work on India
defends the climate of that country,
which, he says, is principally dangerous
to persons who do not take proper care of
themselves; and, in illustration of this
fact, he quotes the remark of the Irish
gentleman in reference to Europeans in
India: ''They eat and drink, they drink
and they eat, and then they die, and then
they write home to say that the climate
has killed them"
The largest bull that has lately been
imported into this country, was exhibited
by Rev. Mr. rockingham in the Sixth
Avenue, when he defended himself for
his performance at the Astor House
bigRmy. He said: $50 long as l am a
man, / will stand by the innocent until
they are proved to be guilty"
The Detroit Tribune says that a resi-
dent of that city, who lives on fashion
able thoroughfare, observed man he did
not care to see coming toward his door,
and hurriedly instructed Bridget to tell
the person he was not al home. "All
right, sir, +" said Bridget, as she made haste
to answer the door-belL SIS Mr.. - at
home9" inquired the caller. 'tFaith an
he's gone out" responded the obedient
servant. ''Wheu will he be at home9"
asked the man at the door. ''Hould on
q mint, "put in Bridget, San I'll ak himl"
A New Hampshire farmer wanted a
farm hand, and was applied to by an
Irishman who wanted to work. The
farmer objected to engaging Pat on the
ground that two Irishmen previously in
his employ had died on his hands. "Then
you object to hiring me for that, do ye9"
said Pat. "Faith and l can bring you
Recommendations from many a place I've
worked that never played such trick"
An Irish member of Parliament, speak
ing of certain Minister'S well-known
love of money, observed: 'Let not the
honorable member express contempt for
money; for, if there is any office that
glitters in the eyes of the honorable MEM
Der il is that of purse bearer-a pension
to him is a compendium of all the cardi-
nal virtues. All his craftsmanship is COM
pretended in the art of taxing; and for
good, better and best, in the scale of hui
man nature, he invariably reads pence,
shillings and pounds. verify believe, "
exclaimed the orator, rising to the height
of his conception, 'that if the honorable
gentleman were an undertaken, it would
be the delight of his heart to see all man.
kind seized with a common mortality,
that he might have the benefit of the
general burial, and provide scarfs and hat
bands for the survivors.