Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-05-20
A COLD THE HEAD.
The Views of John Paul Thereons
From Every Saturday..

If any mistakes are visible in the
present writing, attribute them to my
having bad cold. No man alive can
spell CORRECTLY or write good grammar
with bad cold--espccially if it be
cold in the head. The French waitress,
Bridget O'Keefe, spoke to me about it
this morning at breakfast--poas aves
an rhnnae, she said. No one remarked
that my rhume was better than my
company. but | felt in my heart that
both were bad enough to stand on their
own dem rits. One cannot be cheerful
with cold in his head the human
soul is not disposed to burst forth in
song under such conditions. Asd the
worst of it is, one gets no sympathy
from ones friends. You go round with
red, swollen nose, and swollen, red
eyes. Halo, Johnl What's the
matter? ?" halls the first fellow we'll
met. "a bad cold" you reply. "Oh,
is that alp" with sigh of relief. The
fact is you feel that you are as much to
be pitied as though you had the small
pox. Aud he treats your affection as
lightly ss though it were that you had
only lost your mother in law. Then
the remedies that are suggested for you
to try 'sSteam your head" said my
aunt. So was persuaded to hold my
head over bowl of blnzing hot water,
till it was done through, like an early
i cd has
'steemed nephew; aud it is thonght
that she may leave me something in
her will. AS she never tries her own
remedies, however, an early succession
to the property does not seem probable
Bathing in ali its forms has been
recommended to me for more than a
week past have been a night compan-
ion of the bath, but it seems to do little
good, g STUFF cold' has passed inc
a sort of proverb; but my head at pre-.
sent is stopped up enough--too much
to be made available for any practical
purpose. I've taken sage advice and
sage tea in enormous quantities, but
with no perceptible benefit. Hot Scotch
whisky, with little hot water and a
slight mingling of lemon peel in it was
urged upon me by friend, who kindly
consented TO drop in and help me take
it. | assisted him home at late hour
Of the night, aud his wife demanded at
the door, in an angry tone, what | had
been doing to her husband That did
not do my cold much good. Since then
gin and molasses has been suggested as
sovereign remedy for all the chiIIs
that flesh is heir to; but turn an EN-
phatic cold shoulder on all whch savors
of spirits. My mother writes from the
interior Of Maine to say that | had
better come up there and be " nursed !"
| think I'll go. There must be about
bnshcl of boneset, to say nothing
about other herbs, about the house
wisps of medical weeds, long stored up
against family emergencies. Since the
children grew up and went away from
home, there has been no one to ply
with teas and syrups of traditional vir>
tue but the gathering of the materials
has still gone on with unfailing regu.
larity. In my minds eye, | see myself
venturing to draw the fire of those
accumulated teas No, rather let me
sit in my city chair, like patient on a
monument, smiling at relief.
How did / catch my cold, you ask
All, there's the rub--thence the series
of rubs. A party of girls proposed to
me to 90 aud skate. Before venturing
upon the ice, an aged guardian of that
public place, who stood with frozen
look, in frieze coat, admonished us te
look out for that ere hole" Some
how / contrived to skate into that air
hole They ished me out with poles
Ii you want to know how cold the poles
are, break through the ice once and bt
fshed out with them. They rolled ms
on q barrel to restore me, under tht
impression, seemingly, that the vita
organ is barrel organ. They pu
bricks to my feet--if women wonle
always see to it that their idols stant
, thus on baked clay, it would be better
There were few things. indeed, that Til,
bystandcrs did not do for me, excep
the right thing. One unbuttoned m,
shirt collar, to relieve me, he said
another attempted to empty my pocket
Ito relieve me, | suppose. A New
foundland dog was playing on the banl
when fell in. Strange TO say, he di,
not rush to my rescue while strugglin,
in the water, but he went for me imme
diately got on shore. Il may hav
been generous OF him to refrain iron
attacking me till got on dry land, bu
my faith in the humane instincts o
n that noble animal is sadly shaken
Had I been bone, I've no doubt bu
that Nero would have rescued me an
brought me to the shore. Well, ar
safe at home again, and will go no NOR
skating myself, and the girls may slide