The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-06-17
DOTS.

llne pun Tor pair OF cotton socks
Ohio rats don't know much
They steal shoe pegs and stow
them away for oats.
A Washington youth carries live
snakes in his pockets and isn't 9
bit afraid of pickpockets either.
The snail stands n chance for
| the toothache. Somebody saws he
has 10 rows of teeth, with Ill on
each row, or 1920.
An Irishman calls a sweet heart
honey because she is bee loved.
An honest banker sometimes
fails in making money, but dis
honest one makes money by fail
ing.
Every drop in the sea of life i'm
AGNES itself an ocean.
Some people argue-very logi-
caily, too-it is impossible to keep
your word if you give it.
A man who cuts his heirs off
with a shilling need not necessarily
use a silver razor.
The prisoners in a Massachu-
sets prison want to publish a
newspaper. By using their files
they probably hope to cut their
way out of captivity.
A Chicago debating society
wrestled with the question, Which
is the cleverer, minister or law
yerT and decided it in the affirma-
tive.
There is little encouragement
for lady to be charitable, because.
after all, she can only be called a
kind woman, while al the rest of
her sex are still womankind.
A young man with mustache
cannot obtain a position as school
master in lonia county. TIE girls
are TOO susceptible. ...
If you would he pungent, he
brief; for it is with words as with
sunheams-the more they are con-
densed the deeper they burn.
Brick Pomeroy won't depart.
A lad in Cincinnati went through
a planning mill recently. His rough
edges were so thoroughly smoothed
that his recovery is doubtful.
A train CT cars in Colorado was
struck by lightning recently. At
ter the accident the train was run
by a nom conductor.
A couple at Danbury, Ct, hav-
ing carefully considered the cues.
ton for twenty-five years, have
recently decided to get married.
A Wisconsin postmaster has
written to Washington for som
eternal revenu stamps saying he
has 'sevrel coils for them
Some one says the best way to
train up child in the wav he
should GO is for the person to tray.
el That way occasionally himself.
An advertisement in an exchange
runs thus: Partial board for a sin
gle gentleman; house kept by a
widow and her daughter; .busses'
and cars convenient.
A western editor, who doesn't
know much about farming any way.
suggests that for garden making
a cast iron back, with hinge in it,
would be an improvement on the
spinal column now in use.
The latest invention in advcr
Using is that Of Hartford, patent
medicine man. who has sheared his
dog, and painted on the animal the
name of his universal cure.
An attorney observed TO a broth
er in court that he thought whis
kers very unprofessional. You
are right replied his friend; "a
law yer cannot be too bar-faced.'
An Iowa school-teacher has been
dismissed for kissing the big girls.
The girls say the school board had
no right to interfere with their
studies in that way.
Pa, is Pennsylvania the father
of all the other States?' Certain
~ not, my child; why do you ask
that question: Because l see all
the newspaper call it Pa
Servant looks into the breakfast
room and says: please, madame.
there's beggar in the kitchen
wants som ething to eat!' Give
her the water in VIII. the eggs
were boiled, Budget; it is quite nu-
tritious.'
AT Lincoln, Pa, school teaher
whipped a girl, when the latter's
mother took q whip and thrashed
The teacher uutil she got down on
Ter knees and said to her, Now
ay me- after which she sued the
not her for 6amoroo III 49,,