Weekly Trinity journal., 1871-11-25
From the Pacific Coast Adrs,tise,"l
HOW WIGGINS GOT MARRIED.

absored in thought. On the table before him
lay pile of manuscripts which almost any man
might have shrunk from the task of overhauliug
IN the manner in which he was presently about
to do. Some of them were the work of his own
pen, and these were in various stages of progress,
from the political editorial with its sounding
title, and the three opening sentences of lofty
invective, to the nearly completed article in
which he demonstrated beyond the possibility of
a doubt that the completion of railroad to
Slugville was the only step which could secure
permanent prosperity to the people of the Pacific
coast The others were contributions furnished
by kindly disposed individuals who desired to
elevate the literary character of his paper as
well as to astonish, delight and instruct the pub
lie by making it the receptacle of their illusions.
Virgins was the editor and proprietor of the
NUgpiHe Banner, sheet which, to use his own
felicitous language, was destined, despite the
many assaults of its contemplate adversaries,
to become the great organ aud exponent of the
entire mining region" Virgins had been in
this position for several years, and from present
appearances was likely to occupy it several more
Any one conversant with the dos,nocracies
of the estmable Virgins would have known
from one glance at his countenance that his med
itations that morning were of an unusually pro-
found, not to say solemn, character The fact
was he was speculatiug the eXpediency of
entering into the matrimonial state. Viggins
was growing tired of single bessedness. He felt
the need of II companion in the journey of life
one whose affection and confdiug tenderness
would mitigate the sorrows and mistortuucs that
await all who enter this subIunary sphere, and
enhance the value of the moments of happiness
which come even to the editor of II newspaper,
as when, for instance, some long delinquent
debtor comes to the scratch and settles for his
subscription to the paper, or the insertion of that
"little ad' year or two ago.
Virgins had been running over in ais mind a
list of those among the Slugvie bellies whom he
thought best fitted to make married life desra-
bic one 1t was very difficult to make u selection
from among so many, for us every one knows,
Slugvile is noted for the number and attractions
of its unmarried but perfectly willing to be dam
sells. Several times he on the point of Civ
to do 50 II vision came before him of bright eyes,
rosy lips and waving ringlcts combined in the
person of one who should be to his house per-
petnol ornament, aud to himself miniJterlng
angel and nothing less, aud he resumed his
cogtations with renewed vigor.
At last fly, which had been meandering for
some time lazily about the room, settled with an
oggrayotng buzz directly on the tip of his nose,
awaking him from his revetie to II sense OF the
pressing nature of his editorial duties
He rose to his feet, and as he did so, an idea
seemed to strike him, for he rubbed his hands
together fcrycntly and exclaimed with energy
BY George I'll do it as sure as my name is
Theophilus Wiggins.'
His name was Theophlus, and he evidently
did it, for the next morning the female readers
of the SlugrWe Banner beheld with thrilling in-
terest the following lines
Wantcd-by the editor of this paper, a lady
who is willing to superntcnd his household, and
also have an eye to his personal comfort and hap
piness-in short, a wife. Apply personally or
by letter to Theophilus Wggns, Office Of the
SiugUWe Daily Banner.
To describe the state Of mind of the people Of
Slugyillc Immediately after the insertion of this
notice would be quite hopeless task. Slugyille
fairly stopped over with surprise. There was Of
course great diversity Of opinion in regard to
the matter. Some said the whole thing was Il
" burned blk" Some said there was no joke
at all in the affair. Virgins was in dead earn
est, but he must be fool not to know how to
get IL wife without advertising for her Others,
again, thought the proceeding not altogether an
irrational one but they " would Jest like to see
the girl around Slugylle that he could get in
that way
None Of them, however, understood the matter
as well as Wigsins himself lie had seon too
much Of the effects Of advertising not to know
that it scarcely ever fails to produce the desired
result.
There was an affecting scene in his Office dur
ing the afternoon Of the day in which the adyer-
tisement first appeared. Seventeen females, all
of whom were matrimonially Inclined and had
determined to apply in person, dropped into that
apartment one after another 1t was strange
that they should have all happened to conceive
the same idea at so nearly the same time but
some how they did. The consequence was that
in less than five minutes from the entrance of the
first responsive female, sixteen more had followed
suit There was a jam of crnolne in that office
that was excrutating to witness, and still more
excrutating to actually endure, as did Virgins,
standing in the midst OF the assemblage "like
patience on monument"
~ dashng brunette claimed him first and II
bewildering blonde Immediately followed suit
While ne was trying TO convince the two of the
impossbty Of being happy with one without
a tother dear charmer being away, the eldest
old maid of Sugyille, damsel who resembled
nothing SO mnch in personal appearance as q