Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1871-06-20
The Patent Mode of Living.

am sometimes lost in delight as
read the confident and generous direc
tions of some man who has solved the
problem Of correct living, and given
his gospel to the world. How much
better than any imagined millennium
will that be when we conform all our
vile bodies to his body-what a sweet
uniformity when we all eat, and drink,
and sleep, and dress, and exercise ex.
actly as he found it best for him. The
process of natural selection has been
carried quite far enough. Let us be OF
one mind and diet-bran of one bran,
flesh of one flesh. We shall all 90 to
bed at one hour, and that right early
except editors of morning journals, who
will have dispensation to die early.
We shall all rise, like bed Of Gro
cuses in spring, at very early hour,
and all together. Sickness will not ex-
cuse us, for there will be no excuse for
sickness. AT the same moment we shall
be engaged in taking an air bath, a
plunge bath, a sponge bath, a dry rub;
and then dressing according to a tabu-
lar set of figures, furnished by the CEN
tral authority; showing the proper
weight of each garment according to
the temperature indicated by the ther-
mometer, we shall all take brisk walk
of eleven minutes. We shall saw wood
for half an hour if we have no lifting
machine, and then sit down to break
fast, to consist of half pint of filtered
water free of animal substances) and
two quarters of dried apple, or any
other fruit in season, to be eaten with
the utmost cheerfulness, and even with
little moderate hilarity. A fried apple
with hilarity is to be avoided. After
breakfast we are to 60 to our various
elastic frame. By twelve o'clock we
shall be quite ready for dinner. This
meal is to be varied every day in the
week-different kinds of bran bread,
different kinds Of cracked wheat, differ
ent kinds of dried apples, and other
sorts of fruit that do not contain a GER
tain kind of acid which is hostile to the
standard stomach of the reformer whom
we follow, to be eaten with a good deal
of merriment-(no matter who has died
or who has gone into bankruptcy)--to
be eaten in large quantities. In fact,
we are to eat all we want at this kings
meal, with one restriction. We are to
leave off hungry and extremely hilari-
Gus. The dinner is to cost not over
eight cents, except you dine with a
friend and he pays the bill, in which
case you may take sugar on your fruit
After dinner you may take siesta
of twenty minutes and a nap in
your chair, but do not lie down; and
sleep with your mouth shut if in fly
time, for animal food is absolutely pro-
hibited These directions may seem un-
important; but nothing is trivial to an
immortal man, as you will feel when you
20 to your business with springing
step, a sparkling eye, glowing cheeks,
fire in every limb, exultant blood in every
muscle, and the consciousness that you
have no butchers bill, grocer's bill, or
milkman's, that you owe no man dol
lar, and can keep all the commandments
just as easy as you can wink. AS you
walk along the street you occasionally
jump into the air four or five feet, or
leap over the boundary fence and back,
and laugh aloud. At supper it is best
for You to eat nothing, excepting your
own cheerfulness; but il nature will have
try little brown bread,
raised without yeast, slowly masticating
it, thinking about butter, and being care
full to call up no image that will induce
excessive laughter; for this is the time
to begin to tranquilize the mind and
prepare for self-satisfed slumber. Chas.
ID. Warner. ft.f4tftN NfIetI