The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-02-25
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

all the paupers in the city, and while perform
ing his duty in distributing to all alike. left the
usual months allowance with the publisher of
that indgeut sheet. the Press "Only this, and
nothing more" In this case the mayor escapes
the mistake of casting pearls before swine
The attendance was not large, but respectable
in point of si:e.-Oaatea Republican.
Hows that for Queens English ?-Ld Sale
Press.
1t amt Queens English; its Sapp's English,
and rather better than common, at that.
An exchange says:
Philadelphia street preacher. complain that
when they try to convert boys in the streets, the
boys say: Put head on him = aud when he
passes around the hat they ask: How does the
old thing work. lie is going to resign.
The Menclota BuNetin has discovered that there
is no ordinance in force in that city prohibiting
people "from keeping snow banked up on their
sidewalks for summer use"
Mrs. Darlington wishes to know if General
Land Grant" that she reads so much about in the
papers, i. brother of President Grant!
No; but they are near and dear relations.
The Pontiac Free Trader has comm unication
on the evil habit of profanity. 1t is enough to
make one swear to be obliged to read the article.
Some New York ladies' are trying to make bill
iards fashionable and the Mau says: "They
ought to succeed well at the game for fathers and
husbands testify that they are dead sure
when they go for pocket; lovers are certain
tibet they are lucky in kisses; hen-pecked hus-
l.. l. A., e. -, Il
'invalids' give them the palm for 'nursing.'"
A Wisconsin paper, "pon honor" states that:
If Wisconsin girls remain unmarried at the
age of fifteen, they are encouraged by their fam-
lies to commit suicide.
What terrible punish ments are inflicted upon
the men who do not propose, that paper does not
say.
An eastern paper perpetrates the following
Islander on western 'bummers
western hummer lately put himself to bed
on the steps of church, and trying to fold the
snow-f axes around him, declared every time he
grasped handful that the darned sheets ALWAYS
tore so.
The most beautiful girl in the United States,
says the New York World. lives near Lincoln,
Ill. Her hair is of that peculiar hue that field
of ripe wheat throws towards the setting SUM-
Her eyes send forth light so etfugent and mag
netic that strangers become spel.bound under
its influence aud stand rudely gazing. Her cheeks
bear bloom like the sunay side Of an early
peach. pearl would seem almost black beside
her teeth. Her form is SO graceful that men
Worship her before seeing her face Her hands
suggest the idea Of waxen fingers tipped with
vermillion. Her smile seems actually TO illum.
mate her presence, and when she laughs the lis.
tener fancies that he hears sweet music in the
distance.
She lives in Ottawa, and almost any pleasant
afternoon one can meet her on parade around the
equare.
A newspaper up in the pineries says:
Mr.. and Mrs. Barley, Of Plainwell, Mich
celebrated their wooden weddinx last week at
saw null, where they adjourned for the purpose
OF receivin. the logs and planks that were offer.
ed rs presents.
A ST. Paul paper briefly states that
A ST. Paul German, after getting on a train,
missed his packet book and thought he would
jump off, and go back to find it. Since he struck
the frozen prairie, with the train going at the
rate of thirty miles an hour, he hasn't taken
much interest lin the war news from France.
They buried him where he fell.
The following speech is attributed to mem.
Der of the Legislature of Pennsylvania: "Ikuow
wimun, Mr.. Speaker; l say it in NO disre.pect;
know UNI; have had heap to do with EN-.
They're useful clssu, aud.-and. yet with the
best of EN- You may have trouble"
Tho London Spectator IN an article on the
philosophy ofprofane swearing, awards to Amer.
lcans the pre'erniueuce in that accom- plshment.
In Canada the same opinion prevails. In cases
where there is curiosity aud doubt existing
there In regard to the nationality Of q stranger,
something is said in his presence to irrita,e him.
and then If he ewears with sufficient volubility,
his title to the honors Of American citizenship
is at once acknowledged.
A Yankee paper has the folio wing:
"A man, who IL owing US q little bill, said he
would call last week aud pay u.s. il he WAS alive.
ne still appears in the streets. but ~ he did not
call, IT is natural to supposa he is dead. and
walking around to save funeral expenses"
Some member. Of an Inilsnnpoli. church se,
the'r church on fir. aud destroyed il, bccaus.
they didn't like their pastor, How enthusiastic
some people are On the subject IF rel. zion.
Mrs. Stowe thinks there come. . tim. .f,.,
marriage when husband hA- something elss to
do than to make love to his wife.
To thus All Erchange add:
"Thi. is probably the tim. ~heu lie Ia making
love to another mans WIFE"
The Buffalo Courier says:
1--WE have known Of p-r-on. serving their own