Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1871-06-22
"Aren't You Tom Poulton?"

"Certainly mott don't wen know the
name; 1 happened to be passing through
the cemetery, and, seeing a large crowd
of mourners, 1 Joined them from motives
of mere curiosity"
"Then, SIR" said Peter Hodgson, 81
never saw such a wonderful likeness of
the very man we are burying in the
whole course of my lite!"
Tom glided mysteriously away from
Peter Hodgson, and made his way into
the throng of
"'Tom!" said another; why we are
burying you'll"
"My name, sir, is not Tom, and 1 have
never been buried in my life!o -.
"Tom Poulton!" "Tom Poulton!"
"Tom Poulton's alive and present."
passed from mouth to mouth, as the as
founded Serious Family gazed in horror
at his familiar but by no means vulgar
features.
"Gentlemen," said Tom Poulton, 81
must again assure you that you are de-
ceived by an accidental resemblance; 1
am not Tom Poulton, and l never heard
of him."
And with a slight bow he walked
away.
The principal topic of conversation
that night, at the meeting OF the Serious
Family, was the miraculous appearance
of somebody very like Tom Poulton, at
Tom Poulton's funeral. 1t was held that
it couldn't possibly have been Tom Poul-
ton, because Tom Poulton was dead and
buried, and Tom Poulton's will had
heen opened, by which he left ESQ, 1000 or
94O,O 900 in ready money to the Serious
Family. This was held by implication
only, as it never entered anybody's head
to suggest that the mysterious stranger
could possibly have been Tom Poulton.
The club had resolved itself into a
committee to consider the best means of
investing, or otherwise disposing of, the
handsome legacy which Tom Poulton
had left them.
1t was decided, as a first step, that, as a
mark Of respect to poor Tom Poulton's
Juno scheme, every member should be
permitted to borrow S24 from Toms
estate.
The question then arose whether it
would be better to apply the balance to
allowing every member q reasonable
quantity of tobacco and spirits for life,
without any payment whatever, or to
divide it equally among the surviving
members-a course of procedure that
would give every member, after allow
ing for probate and e~Xecutorial expenses
nearly S1O0 each.
AS this interesting question was being
put to the meeting by Mr.. Richard Har-
ris, Mr.. Tom Poulton walked in.
Everybody looked very uncomfortable.
Mr.. Peter Hodgson, however, quickly re-
covered himself.
Ss'Sir," said he, "this is a private club
room, and strangers are not admitted,
unless they are introduced by mem
bers."
Hal ha - said Tom, "bravo, Peter! !"
1.Sir,' said another, we don't know
who you are, but we must request. you
to withdraw"
"Allow me to introduce MYSELF said
Tom with much more gravity; 81 am
Mr.. Tom Poulton, whose funeral you at
tended this morning" And he took a
chair and filled a pipe.
H.If you imagine, sir, that because you
a certain distant resemblance to our
poor friend Tom Poulton, you are iusti-
fed in h~orrifying his friends with a
highly.indecent practical joke" began
Hodgson.
GA distant resemblance" !"
ga very distant and shadowy resem-
blance, sir. Nothing more, 1 assure
you"
sDon't be a fool, Peter,' said Tom;
we've had enough of this, haven't we,
Dick ?'
"We have, sir,' said Dick; 81 must in
sist on you withdrawing"
"Come, GOMEZ said Tom, rather chap
fallen; sit was only my joke. L person.
ated a poor old chap who happened to
bear my name, in order to sell you all.
Dick Harris and L arranged it together;
didn't we, Dick ?" :
ssSir," said Dick, "I haven't the pleas
ure of your acquaintance. You will be
good enough to withdraw, or we shall be
under the necessity of eXpelling you by
force"
And as the members of the club rose
- - I~I- 80 %Io @-s1o-K 90
carrying Dick Harris threat into effect,
Mr.. Tom Poulton withdrew with a very
blank expression of c~Ountenance.
In order to test the feeling of the club
the subject, it was Immediately pro-
posed by Mr.. Dick Harris, and seconded
by Mr.. Peter Hodgson, that Mr.. Tom
Poulton was dead and buried. The motion
was carried by reclamation.
1t was then proposed by Mr.. Peter
Hodgson and seconded by Mr.. Dick Har-
ris, that if, by any miracle, Mr.. Tom
the legacy should be refunded to him, if
possible, without driving him into chan
Gerry for Its recovery. This motion, also,
was carried by acclamation.
Finally it was proposed by Mr.. Dick
Harris, and seconded by Mr.. Peter Hodg-
son, that the person who had just repre-
sented himself to be Tom Poulton, restor-
Ell TO lie, was not IN the leaSC ike lOHl
Poulton; and that he had no claim, and
never, by any possibility, could have
any claim, to the legacy in question.
This motion, also, was carried by accla-
nation.
The question was considered settled by
all but Tom Poulton himself. i
Tom Poulton beseiged the club doors
day after day, but to no effect. The hall
.porter-they had started a hall porter,
and many other eonveniences since Tom
Poulton's death-had received strict in
functions not to admit any person calling
himself Tom Poulton. He treated Tom
kindly enough, believing him to be a
harmless monomaniac, but no c~onsidera-l
ton could induce him to admit Tom with
in the club threshold,
Tom next tried the parish surgeon who
the certificate of the dead Tom
death. But all the surgeon
could prove was that the Tom Poulton
who died vas not at all like the Tom
who stood before him. On the
whole, this materially strengthened the
clubs case, particularly as the descrip-
ton given by the surgeon OF the dead
Tom Foulton'e personal appearance cor
responded exactly with every members
recollection of he unfortunate chairman
of the Serious Family. 1t was finally
voted that. on the surgeons evidence,