The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1871-02-16
WIT AND HUMOR.
- Man is n mister, but woman is a

- biS'Gt ih"
If man is given to liquor, see
that liquor is not given to him.
- What should clergymen preach
about? About fifteen minutes
DO not choose your friend by his
look; handsome shoes often pinch the
feet.
"A New Hampshire paper, announ-
cling the death Of man, says: "He
leaves wife and child by q former
husband
-" 1t is forty years, my old friend
John, since VIC were boys together.n
at isf--wcll, don't speak SO loud,
there's that young widow in the next
room"
- Miss Brown, have been to learn
how to tell fortunes" said 4 young
man to u brisk brunette; "just give
me your hand, please "La, Mr.
White, how very sudden you are; well,
so and ask pa"
"A lady who had a great horror
Tor tobacco, got into Il railroad car
rioge the other day, and inquired Of
male neighbor "Do you chew tobac-
co, sir?' "No, madam, don't" was
the reply, but l can get you a chew
if you want one
"A servant girl, who Was employed
to pickle her masters cabbages, took
the opportunity to cabbage AerJmas,
ters pickles. She is the same woman
who was happy and careless when she
was young, and happy and hairless
when she was old.
- Ono Maine editor has sued an
other Maine editor for defamation of
character, and the defense is under
stood to be that, in the first place, the
plaintiff had no character to speak Of.
anl that, even if he had, nothing the
defendant could soy would iniurc any
body.
- IhHckcray, on lis first visit to
New York, was introduced 10 q very
lashionab'y dressed young lady, the
daughter Of publisher noted for his
piracy Of the works of British authors.
"AE,' murmured the novelist, "a splen-
did'y bound edition of The Pirates
Daughter"
---" Let us go to Mr. Simpsons wed,
ding. my dear said a newly married
wife to her husband. ooh, no. Let
us stay at home; it will be dreadful
bore" But, my dear, you must re-
member MIR. Simpson attended your
wedding" 80 he did" (grimly);
IL had forgotten that" (revengeful!y).
/ shall be there"
Piron, the French author, having
been taken up by the watchman Of the
night in the streets Of Paris, was taken
on the following morning before the
lieutenant Of police, who haughtily in.
terrogated him concerning his business
or profession. Il am poet, SIR said
Piron. ooh, oh! poet, are you?'
said the magistrate. al have a brother
who is q poet Then we are even,'
said Piron; . for have brother who
i, fool"
"A Yankee having told an English.
man that he shot, on one particular oc.
caslon, 500 snipe, his ellocutor asked
him why he didn't make it thousand
AT once. NO" said lie, mot likely
I'm going to tell a lie for one snipe"
Whereupon the Englishman, deter.
mined not to be outdonc, began to tell
a long story Of man having swan
from Liverpool to Boston. "Did you
see him p asked the Yankee, sudden
", "did you see him yourself2"
"Why, yes, Of course ] did; was
coming across, and our vessel passed
him Il mile out of Boston harbor."
"Well, I'm glad ye saw him, stranger,
COS yer witness that did it. That
was me-"
My sympathies seldom 90 very far
from home. I'm not given to weep
ing over the heather; but I'm sorry
for the King of AshaRtee. He has g.
33l wives. Now Id about as lief be
king of a shanty as Of anything else,
but | don't know that I'd care to un-
dertake to boss one with quite that
number of women around me; I'd not
run it on any terms Not that don't
love woman, understand, for, on the
contrary. admire her; from infancy
I'D / have considered her an institution
cmineuty worthy of encouragement;
my mother was woman; all my fe-
male relatives are women. In the
pride of my heart l have said, that the
sex had no stronger supporter than
myself; but this boast, find, is no
longer true. The King ofAshantee,
supported supported 1880 more than