Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1871-11-08
SHIRTS versus WIVES.

Five years. had passed since Fred
Lattimer and his wife Daisy had com
menced life together, and so far they
| had lived in the utmost harmony
| She was an ambitious little woman,
not in the sorosistical sense, but that
| she might please her husband, and
make happy home for him and the
| children. To carry out such an ambi-
ton is to be very unseltish and self-sac-
rifcing. In spite Of her many cares,
Daisy was a bright and happy little
wife; her husband was as the apple OF
her eye, and she was a CLEAN of sun
shine to him. She managed her child
ren with wisdom, and superintended
her household prudently; she sang lul-
Iabys to quiet the baby, and clicked
the sewing machine when he slept all
the household sewing passed through
her nimble fingers, and in addition to
all this she made Fred's shirts! Every
spring half a dozen linen, and every
| fall as many new cotton shirts, were,
after being beautifully done up by
Bridget, laid in Freds bureau drawer
Daisy liked to do this for Fred, and
Fred was very proud of his wife's dain-
ty workmanship.
At the gate of every paradise fingers
| q serpent, and there was one here,
| troubled and exasperated at the sight
| Of so much domestic happiness; and
now proceed to chronicle his attempt to
Dc stroy it.
Fred was standing one morning be-
fore the glass adjusting his collar, and
was noticing, with satisfaction the
satin-lil1e smoothness of his shirt
bosom. The demon of the shirt
thought this a good time to commence
operations, SO, perching on his shoul-
der, he whispered softly in his ear,
"Don't you think your collar pulls just
a little in the neck? 2" Fred started as
the suggestion took form in his mind.
ct do believe it does" he said to him
self, Greatly, [ wonder [ never no.
ticed that before. Yes, that certainly
is very bad Daisy must see to this al
once" Then raising his voice, he
called to his wife, who was in the next
room, sEDaisy dear, come here min
ute, won't you?"
Eyes, Fred, she replied; "iust as
soon as [ get the baby out Of his bath
There" whispered the demon
"that baby always comes first with
her"
"That's So" acquiesced the hus
band. "Come, Daisy, can't you hurry
up?' he called again, 50 impatiently
that, wondering at his unwonted humol
she hurriedly wiped the pearly drops
| from baby's beautiful limbs, and throw
inc a blanket over him, she laid hin
on the bed, and ran in, wiping hel
hands as she went on the baby's towel
"Daisy," said her husband, Gus
look at this shirt of mine, won't you
it pulls me a little here in the neck.
think if YOU could manage to raise i
a trife in the back, it would make i
looser here in 'front.'; and he pulled
impatiently at the offending carmen
as he spoke. As Daisy dldnot answer
he continued, ~ think that all it want:
is a gore or something in the back
Fred might as well have said f1ounce
for all he knew about the merits or ma
ture of either; but he likes to speak o
cores and biases to show his perfec
familiarity with the technicalities o
sewing-the words have such a mar
tial, manly sound, and it was his de
! light to suggest them as general RENE
dies for all mistakes of the needle.
81 suppose" E." said Daisy thoughtful
ly, that [ can rip off the band, ant
piece the shirt up in the back Bu
isn't it pity to have it altered when i
seems such a good fit 2"
"A good fit" repeated Fred; why
[ don't know what you can be thinking
about, to say that. 1t don't fit me vel
at all. ="
Why, Fred, how you do talk :" he
little mouth puckering up the least bi
in the world at his unusual tone. 81
always thought you were satisfied Will
your shirts.
$50 / have been" retorted Fred
"but can't a fellow grow? That's JUS
the way with You women; you thinl
there can be no improvement in any
thing you do. | believe i'll progress
| am sure it won't hurt you to talk
! these few stitches TO please me, will i,
Oh no, Fred, said his wlfe .
do 1t some time to day, But there