The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1871-09-21
Irish Bulls.

1t was an Irishman who wrote to his
son in the could counthry," Come till
Ameriky, Mike. 'Tis fire counthry
to get living in. All ye have to do is
to get a three-cornered box and fill it
wild bricks, and carry it till the top of a
three story building, and the man at
the top does all the work" 1t was
another Of the same nationality who,
hearing that his widowed mother had
married again since he quilted Ireland,
exclaimed, "Murther. l hope she went
have son oulder than me IF she docs,
l shall lose the whole estate"
Singularlv confused ideas must the
son Of Erin have of death, for it is relat-
ed of one who was reprievcd the day
before that appointed 70: his execution,
and wished to get rid of his wife, that
he wrote to her, II was hung yesterday,
and died like a hero do as did, and
bear it like man - and of another
whose master had died suddenly, lcav-
ing letter ready for a man, that he
dispatched, after adding at the bottom,
"Since writing the above | have died.
of still another, who wished to inform a
friend in a neighbOring town of the
death Of a fellow workman, that he sent
dispatch signed with the deceased
mans named, reading, ".]ames, come
home; died last night :" and an Irish
lady ordered her body to he opened
after her death, lest she should be buried
alive. a similar story has been float
ing about the newspapers, of Smithson,
the founder of the Smithsonian Institute.
lie had five doctors and they had been
unable to discover his disease Being
told that his case was hopeless, he called
them around him and said "My
friends, desire that you will make a
post mOrtcne examination of me, amt
find out what ails me; for really have
heard such long discussions on the sub
ject that I am dying to know what my
disease is myself
1t was a Hibernian gentleman who
told friend who was studying for
the ministry, 81 hope | may live to
hear you preach my funeral scrmon;' it
was an Emerald Islander who, being
asked to go on the deck of vessel when
she was in danger of laundering, said
he had no wish to see himself drowned:
it was Michael O'Mulligan who remark
ed with much good sense, that "a man
gets very poor show who waits till he is
Kilt before he acts on the defensive -
and the following is found on an Irish
tombstone: "Hcre lies John Hrhlev
and his wife, who were drowned in
their passage from America. Had they
both lived they would have been buri
ed here.n
Samuel Ireland tells of the miracle of
st. Dennis walking from Paris after his
decollation, with his head under his
arm, but makes the miracle still greater
by his mode of relating the story He
says: During his peregrination he car
ricd his head under his arm with much
coolness and deliberation, and often
kissed it by the way"
1t was an Irishman who said, in re-
ference to pair of new boots, II shall
never get them on till | wear them "A
day or two ~ who said that his son was
80 clever that he had just made two
chairs and q table out of his own head.
and had plenty of wood left for another;
who told his sweetheart that he thought
30 much of her that he couldn't slecD
or dreaming of her, who, having been
married at nineteen, said he would
never marry again so young if he lived
% be the age of Neutrality-suspicious.
/OurnuI.