davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

yEyHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
= fully inform the citizens of Albany and VI
entity that he has taken charge of this Establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business expects to suit all those
who may favor him with their patronage. Having
. heretofore carried on nothing but
~ First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects to give entire satisfaetion to all
Mg-ChildIen and Ladies' Hair neatly cut and
shsmpooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
apr4v3n33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
MARK TWAIN.
WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT cHAMBEnMarps.


Against all chambermaids, of what
soeyer age or nationality, launch the
curse of Lachelordom:
Because:
They always put the pillows on the
opposite end of the bed from the gas
burner, SO that while you read and
smoke before sleeping, as is the an
cient and honorable custom of the
bachelors, you have to hold your book
aloft, in an uncomfortable position, to
keep the light from dazzling your eyes.
If they can't get the light in an incon-
venient position any other way, they
move the bed. If you pull your trunk
six inches from the wall, so that the
lid will stay up when you open it, they
always shove that trunk back again.
They do it on purpose,
They always put your boots into in
accessible places. They chiefly enjoy
depositing them as far under the bed
as the wall will permit. 1t is because
this compels you to 60 down into an
undignified attitude, and make wild
sweeps for them in the dark with a
boot-jack, and swear. They always
put the MATCHBOX in some other place.
They hunt up new place for it every
day, and put up bottle, or other per-
|ishable glass thing, and cropping about
in the dark, you get yourself into
trouble. They are forever moving the
furniture. When you come in, in the
night, you can calculate on finding the
bureau where the wardrobe was in the
morning. And when you come in at
midnight or thereabout, you will fall
over the rocking chair, and you will
proceed towards the window and set
down in the slop-tub. This will dis
gust you. They like that.
No matter where you put anything
they won't let it stay there. They will
take it and move it the first chance
they get. They always save up the
old scraps of printed rubbish you
throw on the floor, and stack them
carefully ON the table, and then start
the fire with your valuable manu-
scripts. They keep always coming to
make your bed before youget up, thus
destroying your rest and inficting
agony upon you, but after you get up
they don't come any more till the next
day. M
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
TIM NIGGIN's HONEYMOON.

Seems to me things have changed
somewhat Seems to me so-bust me
up If it don'tl I've been married six
months now, and the fact is, Susan
shows the least bit more temper than
/ thought she had; in fact to speak,
the right down truth, she's knocked
things about generally for the last
two months, and kicked up the old
boy in particular. She flung the cat
through the window by the tail and
would have thrown me out by my
heels, if I hadn't walked out on fast
run.
She's got cross as four sticks and
says she'll usa half dozen sticks on
my back if I don't quit smoking in the
house.
And she threatened to throw my
bootjack down my throat last night
because spit in the fire. If she'd
done that suppose I'd have had the
collie or bookjack cramp.
Timothy p. Niggins," says I to
myself, says I, ''you'ye gone and done
it, you've put your foot in it, and have
got to put up with the consequences,
you have. Come, what will you do? you
can't get out of it, you can't"
A girl losses her beauty mighty
quick after she gifts to be Mrs, for
Susan Sunfower was as pretty as a
venus; but jist as soon as I married
her, her skin turned yellow, her eyes
lost their beauty, her hair got thin,
and she got to be just the shape of an
ale cask-she has, by jingo.
And oh! what a temper she has got.
Never knowed her to be mad before
married her; never knowed her to
offer to throw the stove or chair
down anybody's throat; no, never till
she was Mrs. higgins. Aunt says
she'll come all right after while; but
I don't see why she can't be all right
now, I don't; if she don't improve
soon, the Lord help me.
"Jist you spit in the fire again, .
says she to me yesterday, ''jist do il
agin, and I'll throw this stick of wood
down your throat. What did I marry
you for? To run around after you
and make up the FIRE after you have
spit it outa you torment:.-ng BEAST.
Did marry vor 70 slave and worl
ZOE ID while you smoke and chaw
and chaw and smoke and spit in th'
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
ORIGIN OF THE NAMES OF
STATES.

Maine was 80 called as early Of
1923, from Maine In France, of which
Henrietta Maria, Queen Of England,
was at the time proprietor.
New Hampshire was the name given
to the territory conveyed by the Ply
mouth Company TO Captain John
Mason, by patent, November Z, 1929,
with reference TO the patentee, who
was Governor of Hampshire, England.
Vermont was 30 called by the in
habitants in their Declaration Of In
dependence, January IL, 1777, from
the French, uerd mont (the green
mountains).
Massachusetts, was 80 called from
the Massachusetts Bay, and that from
the Massachusetts, tribe OF Indians in
the neighborhood OF Boston. The
tribe is thought to have derived its
name from the Blue Hills of Milton.
II have learnt" says Roger Williams,
"that the Massachusetts were SO
called from the Blue Hills"
Rhode Island was SO called in 1864,
in reference to the Islands of Rhodes
Ill Vic SOtds
Connecticut was so called from the
Indian name Of its principal river
Connecticut is Moeheakannow word,
signifying long Tiver.
New York was so called in 1864, in
reference to the Duke of York and
Albany, to whom the territory was
given by the King oSEngland.
IL
from the Island OF Jersey on the
coast Of France, the residence of the
family of Sir George Carteret, to
whom the territory was granted.
Pennsylvania was SO called in 1851,
after William Penn's daughter-Syl-
yania.
Deleware was so called in 1903,
from Delaware Bay, which received
its name from Lord de La War, who
died in this bay.
Maryland was so called in honor of
Henrietta Maria, Queen of Charles T.,
in his patent to Lord Baltimore, June
Both, 1852.
Virginia was so called in 1854, after
Elizabeth, the virgin Queen of Eng
land.
Carolina was 80 called by the French
in 1864, in honor of King Charles TX,
of France.
Georgia was SO called in honor OF
King George II.
Alabama was so called in 1914, from
its principal river, it being an Indian
name, signifying here IRE Test.
Mississippi was SO called in 1000,
from its western boundary. Missis-
sippi Is said to denote the phole rirer,
j. e., the river formed by the union oi
many.
Indiana was so called in 1906, from
the American Indians.
Ohio was SO called in 1902, from
its southern boundry.
Missouri was SO called in 1921, from
its principal river.
Michigan was SO called in 1905,
from the lake on its border.
Arkansas was SO called in 1872.
from its principal river.
Florida was SO called by Juan Ponce
dc Leon, in 1872, because it was dis
covered on Easter Sunday: in Span
ish, Pascud Florida.
Columbia was SO called in reference
to Columbus.
Wisconsin was SO called from its
principal river.
Iowa so called from its principal
river
Oregon was SO called from its prin-
cipal river-now the Columbia.
Minnesota, or, the Wandering Wa
ter.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
i'm BlUDS0. 0e TIE PRAIRIE BELLE.
ny JOHN HAY.

DY JOHN HAY.
Wall. no can't tell whar ho lives,
Because no don't live. you SEQ
Leastways, he's got out Of the habit
OF livm like you and me.
whar have you been for the last three year
That you haven't heard folks tell,
How Jimmy Bludss passed in bis checks,
The night Vt tho Prairie Belle
He weren't no saint--thcm engineers
Is all pretty much alike
One wife in Matches undcr-the Hill
giAnd another Que here in Pike.
A keerless man in his talk was Jim,
And an awkward man In rev
But he never fiunked, and he never lied,
reckon he never knowed how.
And this was all the religion he had
To treat his engine well;
Never be passed on the river;
To mind the pilots bell;
And IL ever the Prairie Belle took fire
A thousand times he swore.
He'd hold her nozzle agin the bank
Till the last soul got ashore.
All boats has their day on the Mssssip,
And her day come mt last
The Movnstar was u better boat,
But the Belle she uouisin't be passed,
And so she came tearin' along that night
The oldest craft on the line
With ngger squat on her safety valve
And her furnace crammcd, rosin and pine.
The Gre bust out as she clarcd the bar.
And burnt hole In the night,
Aud quick as u flash she turned. and made
For that willer-bank ON the right
There was running and eursing-but Jim yelled
out.
Over all the Internal roar.
Ill hold her nozzle agin the bank
Till the last galoot's ashore"
Through the hot. black breath of tho burning
boat
Jim Biudso's voice was heard.
And they all had trust Ia his cussctincss,
And knowed he would keep his word.
And. surc's your born. they all got ua
AfOTe the siaohcstarks fell.
And Biudso's ghost went up alone
In the smoke of the Prairie Belle.
He weren't no 'aint-but at judgment
Id run my chance with Jim
'Lonssile Uf sntas pians gentlemen
That wouldn't shook hands with him.
lie secu his duty. dead thing
And went for II thar aud then;
Aud Christ ant goiB' to Lc too hard
On n man that died for men.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
CHIPS.

A sweet strain--clear honey. s
4 grave afiair-the last ditch. =
A lost art-family government.
A strong base-one made of iron.
A bad policy-one that has run out.
Floating capital-rich people in bathi
ing. fs
Can cross-examination be good
natured one?
1t Is hard to remember the poor ona
full stomach. Is -
A cramped waist betokens brains In .
similar condition.
Why is dancing like milk? Because
ii strengthens the calves. ea
If you want to become real estate
agent marry rich wife. atse
When is y fouls neck like a bell?--
When it is wrung for dinner fx01
Motto for fancy goods dealer-'nowr
all men buy these presents
How in the world can a floating debt
be paid out of a sinking fund? n
Every unmarried lady of forty has
past the point of Good Hope. II
Society is said to be nothing but 4
mixture of miseries and miss-eries. II
Why are good resolutions like faintirg
ladies? They want carrying out. .,rsss
Free nquirers-internal revenue as-
SCISSORS and census enumerators. sFal
Why is the figure nine like a peacock?
Because its nothing without its tall
Motto for lawyers-be brief; for doc
tors, be patient; for potters, be ware.
The most unsociable things are mile
stones; you never see two OF themator
|gether. ;a<r
Who killed the most poultry? Hanl-
let's uncle, for he did murder most
foul.' @sssfm
The proverb that stolen kisses are
sweet, is enforced by the fact that they
generally come from lasses. s'uasdS
The first part of married life is the
shine of the honeymoon; the rest, too
often, common moonshine.
If hens would do as much 1ayfng
laround' as the loafers do, eggs wouldahe
1 as plenty as bank robberies. ..sya~
1t is nearly as impossible to get money
out of miser as it would be for a butch-
er to get lamb-chops out of battering
ram. t.f.bs
The difference between a bouquet of
flowers and the bouquet of wine is, that
one makes a nosegay and the othena
gay nose.
Pm going to the postofffce, Tom; sAall
I inquire for you? "Well, yes, il, You
want to; but don't think you'll find
me there.n sll1 WsA
Hanging in Montana is styled Climb
ing the pine limb.' in Nevada, early
rising;;' and in Tennessee, climbing up. a
lsapling.' stss a.
Some of the Illinois farmers are mar
rying the dumb females FROM the Jack
sonville asylum and thev declare, that
they make dunn good yves. sash
A clergyman reading a chapter of the
self at ...ne bottom Of the page with the
Wesids, "And the Lord gave Noah q
/ wife," then TURNING over two pagesrln-
lstead of one, he continued, .saIld ht
lpitched her within and without Win
pitch.n
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10
GRAND JURY BUSINESS.

We see by our exchanges that q bill
has been introduced into the Wiscon-
sin Legislature which is designed to
proyidea n substitute for the gland jury.
1t is mainly copy of the Michigan
law upon that subject, and provides
that all crimes shall be presented for
trial by information, instead of indict-
ment, drawn by the District Attorney
and that he shall draw no information
except in cases which have been exam
ined first by Justices of the Peace; and
in any case where he refuses to draw
an information on the cases presented
by Justice, he shall report the case
to the Circuit Judge, with the evil
dence. 1t further provides that an ar
raignment before the County Judge
for the defendant to plead, so that, if
he pleads guilty, he may be sentenced
Immediately, aud not be compelled to
lie in jail until the session of the cir
cult.
The principle and idea embodied in
the above are correct. beyond all ques-
ton. The Grand Jury system is a
grand humbug, in one sense, an in
iquity in another. It does no good,
and in many cases it works great in
jury by allowing cowardly wretches an
opportunity to vent their spite upon
individuals. Under the Grand Jury
system, as it now exists, any man may
be held up to the community as guilty
of a felony without the least particle
of evidence to sustain the charge.
Mems regulations are passed upon in
the dark. recesses of secret tribunal,
where they have no opportunity of de-
Tending themselves. Grand Juries as
they now exist are only cloaks for le-
galized scandal, SANDER and villifca.
ton, and we are in favor of abolishine
them.
Yet we doubt the power of any State
to wholly abolish Grand Juries. Art
icle v. of the Amendments to the Con.
stitution of the United States provides
that emo person shall be held to an.
swer for capital or otherwise infa-
nous crime, unless on presentmeni
or indictment of Grand jury" ex.
cept in military cases. Hence State
cannot abolish Grand Juries. But
there is nothing in the Constitution
which. requires Grand Juries to be Sc.
cret inquisitlons. Therefore State
can provide-and thus do away with
the great injury inflicted by them
that Grand Juries shall hold open ses
sions; and all persons accused before
a Grand Jury shall be notified thereof
| if possible, and have the right to bt
heard in their defence OF explanation.
as in o case of trial before petit
juries.
| Every State should, at the earlies
possible moment, introduce this reform
into the criminal code. The Revision
Commission of this State would dt
good service to the public by inaugu
rating this needed reform. .-Sacra
memo Reporter. sh
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10

RATES OF ADVERTISING PER YEAR: One
Column, 500; Half Column, 500 Quarter Cob
Column, $35.
Transient Advertisements Per Square Of ten
ines or less of this sized type. first insertion, So
each subseuuent insertion, 81.
square is one inch in space down the column,
counting cuts, display lines blanks, &C., as solid
matter. No advertisement to be considered less
than . square, and all fractions counted fuII
square. All advertisements inserted for o less
period than three months to be regarded as tram
sient.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10

fire? There's the pigs I had to feed
to-day; there's the chickens / had to-
feed too; there's Ben Dykes hog got
in the garden and dug up my seed
beets, and you never saw it; there's
that old rooster scratching up my
onion bed and you never saw it. And
you never see nothing you ought to
see. There's Ann Buster who was
over here yesterday, I saw you wink
at her. saw you, Tim higgins
Don't say you didn't. I saw you'll
say I gaw Won II
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10

'Chicken recreation is the new name
In Louisiana for cock-fights.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1871-03-10

tent snobs and those who, like Siclsles,
have no character ut NIL.
1t is understood that the commission
recectly concluded between England
and the United States was the result of u
mission undertaken by Sir John Rose,
as confidential representative of the
British Government Sir John will not
serve ON the commission. Either the
Duke OF Argyle or the Duke of Devon
shire will succeed him. -a j. II.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-09-14
A Slight

A w~ell-known minister of New Orleans,
walking along the street in that city. a
few days since, met a lady for whom he
had recently performed the marriage ser
vice. Desiring to renew the acquain-
lance (for the lady had greatly interested
him at the time,) he accosted her with
the remark:
Madame, did 1 not have the pleasure
of marrying you a few days since?"
81 was married f. few days since, sir"
Yes, l thought I was not mistaken; ]
married you"
Indeed! Well, I thought my hus
band was a much younger man than yor
are but l have not seen enough of bin
to make his acquaintance thoroughly. BY
the way, my dear, my chignon is getting
shabby please give me some money tt
buy a waterfall"
Evidently this was more than the min
lister bargained for, and. with a hasty
bow, accompanied with the remark, "NC
you are not the lady-Pm mistaken" ht
took his leave.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-09-14
Ease i'm Society.

''Td rather thrash in the barn all day.
said Reuben Riley to his sister as he adj
justed an uncomfortable collar about his
sunburnt neck, ethan go to this pesky par
ty. / never know what to do with my
self, stuck up in the Parlor all the even
ing. If the fellows would pull their coats
off, and go put and chop wood on a match,
there'd be some sense in it."
"Weil l hate it as bad as you do,
Reub," said sister Lucy. 1.-The fact is.
we never 90 nowhere, nor see nobody,
and no wonder we feel akward when we
do happen to stir out"
The remarks of this brother and sister
were but the echoes of the sentiment of
many other farmers boys and girls, when
invited out to spend q social evening
But poor Lucy had not hit the true cause
of the difficulty. 1t was not because
they seldom yer to any place, but be-
cause there was such a wide difference
between their home and company man.
ners. The true way to feel at ease in any
garb is to wear it often. If the pleasing
garb of good manners is only put on on
rare occasions it will never fit we'll and
seem comfortable.
Learn to behave properly at home, to
cultivate yourself. Do not sit, or stand,
or lounge about in ungainly attitudes, but
acquire a manly, erect bearing. l have
never seen such vigorous, hearty manhood
in any class as among cultivated farmers
SONS. Let table manners be especially
looked after. If you are SO unfortunate
as to have a mother who is careless in this
regard, you must do the best you can to
remedy the defect in your early training.
Note carefully how well-bred people be-
have, and do your best to initiate them.
It is noble to be an imitator of that which
is good and beautiful. Above all, if you
wish to be at hame in society, fill your
brains with ideas. Set your mind at
work. Wake it out of the sluggishness it
would naturally sink into, if were only
q ploddeir and nothing more, By good stir
ring thought. Take the newspapers and
read them thoroughly. knowledge is a
power in more senses than one. Ifyou 60
into society with something in your mind
worth talking about, you will not fail to
find listeners who will treat you with re-
spect, and where you are well received.
YOU will not fail very soon to find your.
self at ease.-J. Z. MIC, in COuatrs
Gentleman.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-09-14
The Texas Pacific Railway.

The New Orleans Picayune says:
The Directors of the Texas Pacific Rail-
road have resolved to establish the eastern
manufacturing and machine shop of the
road at Shreveport, provided the city will
give the needed grounds Us acres). and
loan to the company the twenty years
bonds of the city to the amount of $780,
600. These works will employ a large
corps of mechanics in building. and a
much larger corps afterward in the con-
struction of machinery, not only for the
Texas Pacific road, but for several others
west of the Mississippi River. The thrift
ty and growing city will be benefited in
its business to the extent Of some mill
ions of dollars a year, while this pioneer
of miles will be followed by many extern
sive factories oe various kinds. Coal, iron,
stone and timber are inexhaustible within
easy reach of Shreveport. Taking the
northwestern angle of this State for a
centre, a radius of one hundred miles will
sweep over one of the finest and richest
mineral regions of the whole vast Valley
of the Mississippi.
The virgin wealth of the Southwest re-
mains untouched and hidden in the depths
of our forests, in the unturned soil, and in
rich mines beneath it. Every mile OF
railroad adds ten dollars to the value of
every acre of tillable land on each side of
it for ten miles. Every mill sends its
cheering effect upon trade and labor much
farther around than than the smoke of It's
chimneys can be seen. This is the dawn
ing of the era of energy and enlightened
enterprise for the Southwest, which must
soon be seconded by large reinforcements
of capital and immigrants.
1t also resolved to begin the construc-
ton of the Texas Pacific road at Shreve-
port, and the building of the same road
toward Vicksburg will be begun at the
same time, and contained pdri pdssu with
the road to the West.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-09-14
Remarkable Curiosity.

Mr.. j. B. Cox, of this city, has in his
possession two most remarkable walking
canes. They are out of rough hawthorn
sticks by Mr.. Cox's brother, III. G. Cox, a
native of Virginia, one of them when he
was only fourteen years old. This one Is
covered with Noah Ark and all the ami
mails in bold relief, every animal being
pictured most un~mistakably. almost by
outline alone. The other stick is covered
with the portraits of Andrew johnson.
Gems. jackson, Lee, and other distinguished
personages, and as many rare and beauti-
fut animals as are contained in Old John
Robinson's grand m~enagerie, and inter-
wined among all these is the Lords prayer,
carved in clear, beautiful Roman letters.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1871-09-14
Chancerv Court at Jonesboro.

Chancery Court at Jonesboro.
John S. Shown Sc Andrew Shown, Extr's.
of Leonard Shown, decd. d
VS.. Isaac w. Mcqueen, Admir-. of ID. III.
Shown, and James w. Hardin Admir-. of
Elihu Shown, ct al.
TN this cause it is ordered by the Court
i that Sci, Fa. issue to be served on John
S. Shown, and John X. Hughes to appear
at the next term of this Court and show
cause if any they have, why Judgment
should not be rendered against them as
the securities of Greene Moore, as Admir-.
of Burberry Shown Decd, on the sever
al judgments and DEGREES pronounced
against him by this Court at its May term
1857. and it being suggested that the said
John *. Hughes is a nonresident of the
State of Tennessee. 1t is therefore order
ed that publication be made for four sue
cessive weeks in the Herald and Tribune
a newspaper published in the town of
Jonesborough, notifying them to appear
st the LEI term of our said court to be
held at the court house in J~onesboro on
the 4th Monday of November next, and
show cause if N he has why judgment
should not be rendered as aforesaid
against him. Witness, Benz. f. Swingle,
Clerk of said court at office in Jonesboro
the 4th Monday of May. 1871.
b. +. SWINGLE, C & ".
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