The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1871-06-14
SPICE.

The prettier the feet and ankles, tho ca
sier they get up s.ares.
Why isa good husband ike dough?
Doughn't You know? Why. it's because
woman needs him.
johnny. what do you expect TO do for
q living shen you get to bca man? well.
! reckon I'll get married and board with
my wifc's pa
There is young lady in Camden study
ing latin. She has beau. lie asked
her what SIC bansii glonia aaMndl meant.
She translated it: Come aud see me on
Monday
Arc the jury agrccdr asked the judge
Of court attacle whom lie met on the stairs
with a. bucket in bis hand. .Yis.' replied
Patrick, they have agreed 10 send out for
half gallon
Johnny. said one Of the boys 10 be-
rcaycd friend who had Just lost his father.
.ycr behaved well &C the funeral oh.
pshawr' replied johnny. with the air Of
one whose merits were only half recognized,
you should have seen nae at the grave :
The Connecticut mind takes TO economy
very naturally, An old lady living in the
Nutmeg State has tabooed candles and tn
ken 10 gas on this ground: She says gas is
hardly half a cent foot while candles arc
Eve cents foot.
A Yankee was walking with an Irish
man on the road to New York. and .hink-
ing 10 roast his companion. said to him /:
where would sou be now. Paddy. ifthc
devil had his dacY Faith, replied Pad
dy. I'D be walking BY myself to New
York
The writer OF On obituary notice Of an
cstimaLlc lady, said that the bcreaYcd hus-
band was hardly able 10 bear the demise
Of his wife,, Imagine his disgust on rad
ing in print that the bcreayed husband was
hardly able TO wear the lchemise of his
wife" s
Montaigno saith prettily, when be in
quires the reason Why the word u the lie
should be such disgrace. and such an obi
Gus charger Saith he: Ii il be well
weighed, 70 say that man licth. Il Is a.
much to say. as that he il brave towards
God, and coward towards men,
A local report u the period: "Mr.
Collins Of Hartford bought fcrocious
watch dog. Mr. Collins eano home late
that nigIit. Ills wife says that bis trou-
sen can't bc mcndcd. The dogs skin Il
for sllc.cheap. DIR. Collins hopes 70 10
ablo 10 sit down ina few wccks.'
The latest feminine exploit is that d
Agnes Lewis. III California. sho Is only
sixteen years old. and has ploughcd ono
hundred aud eighty acres Of land ono way.
nnd six swccihcaris halfdozcn ways. She
l. a sister ofthc Ida Lewis that ihey called
thc Grace Darling Of New England, and i
determined 70 DO justice to her pedigree
ifshc has 70 trot 10 2 10 70 harness.
m A Fairfcld,county Conn man,
Who figures pretty close fcigned sick
ucss tie other day, wllrn bis wife was 4
be buried. IN order 70 savo lis car-farc, d,
she was to be takon 10 disinnt place Lu
when Il was found necessary 10 take q rop'
10 hold the cofin III the wagon. AZ il wa
taken 70 the depot, Leappearcd and'put il
request thai said mpe should DO returned
as Il was handy toto up tho calf.'
A San Rrulcisco school teuchor receive,
tio following neie from the .oetensible
parent of one Of bis pupils: !. 1 hope, a
10 my John. sou win hOg him just as d
ten as sou kin. Hes lusd bvy---is John
Alth0 I've lin 10 tho habit u teachbs
him myself, Il seems ~ ne be will ncye
larn alIiiI,ing-~lis apelen Is sttrugcsual
deHsbcnt. wallopl bin veil, ser. and 81
will rccciy ny thanks.
FonscnoIlc. ~ tlfc sgc a twenty -scyeu
after saying mnuy able and gallant thing
u the young bud beautiful Madame HcIve
titus, passed her once without pcruoiying BET
See. said sic. stopping and addrensin
him, how | ought @ value your gallant
ricsl Youpam me without even look
Ing at mel
.Madame. said tho old man. ; IL | be-
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