The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-10-28
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
aber poor girl has died in Virginia from the
& tobacco, at the age OF one hundred. She
81 orphan.
IL . letter picked up in Springfield, Illinois,
"a following paragraph, My best loved
Iebawed the postage stamp on your last let
81 H. thunder, because i knew you licked it
4. They FELL.-Of the 1,00l young ladies
Ibted last wear, 987 fell into the arms of
(. Imam, two fell on the floor, and one into a
r 3utt.
* here DO you hail from ?'' queried Yankee
.faveler. - Where do you rain from?''
.4 rain at ALL" said the astonished Jona-
80 Neither do hail, so mind your own
:"
Nd bachelor recently gave the following
a. WOman-the morning star Of infancy,
A star Of manhood, and the evening star of
less our stars, and may they always be
telescope distance"
hesian born on the last day of the year
b himself on the narrow escape from not
t I'm at all. "Be jabers," says he, =. and
not been until next day what would be-
tme :"
a 1etroit Free Press says 1t takes the gov
I'D four days to rifle a cannon, while hen
d be riied in less than Is minutes. The
IS man speaks like one who is posted in
,slking about Chicago Post.
keeeuingly warm day recently a neigh
pa old man, and remarked that it was
|+ Yes said he; '' If it wasn't for
q should say we were going to have a
A =" What is that p inquired the friend.
- nothing froze," said Joe.
u Jersey editor has announced the death
Xzeie In Australia leaving him n ooId-mina
10 900. His village contemporary pro-
Nh regard the matter as plan cunningly
- obtain credit for box of paper collars
raw hat.
|fa ne Ann Adrertiser speaks of man of
IN proportions in Gloucester, who went
Ne IN Father Neptune's wash-tub, and on
Ia back to shore his stomach touched bot
IRE it was too deep for him to stand on
lnsylvania ruraiist attended the fair, re-
and bought large, purple eggplant.
had chewed it nearly TO minimum he
Iy remarked 's They don't raise no
ID y melons now as they did before the war"
IsH INNocENcE.-A little boy had been
& 4 never to take the nest egg when gath
Ie eggs; but one evening the girl reached
II first, seized an egg and started for the
Her disappointed brother followed, cry
Mother mother Susy's been and got
the old hen measures by"
MED TO Know, you KNow."-Cousin
Mary are looking very innocent, and sit
far apart when Emily comes into the
But how comes Guy to have an earring
on his whiskers?
following is from Cape May cemetery -
III sMARY JANE.
III Aged ii years months.
y vas not smart, she was not fair,
sai hearts with grief for her are s1elin'i
y empty stands her little chair
she died Of ealing warermelin
3ter from Bonn tells story of German
'f who, on inspecting his troops, not long
dressed them thus .. Now, my children,
~ once more get seriously to work. The
n Of Irar as at an end, and drill must go on
~ as heretofore
ROrgia negro thought he would economize
flng his son to school and then make the
eh him. The plan worked well until the
teaeher, following the custom of the semi
mere he was taught, gave the old man
#ng tor spelling dog d-o-r-g, and then the
sOt Disguised and ran away.
PnrOe man named Elsy, having been rem
Peal by the whistle of a locomotive, the
II Ot the train was surprised on his return
tatIOn to observe eleven bald-headed men
Pe by the track, with a fervid injunction
e first one to " do your -dest." They
married.-DGnbury Nel0s.
reported as a recent occurrence that q
Pa ieil IN love with an heiress, and the
being returned, it only needed the con-
the parents to make them happy. At
meeting the father, he asked for the
= hand " How much money can YOU
ed asked the millionaire, grufiy. ''Not
Was the reply. "What are your expect
7l Well, TO tell the truth, 1 expect, if
use your consent, to run away with your
fF and marry her without it."
reported that Horace Greeley has got into
With Texas editor. It appears that IN
cultural essay on tobacco Mr.. Greeley as
az hne cut will not ripen well unless the
ls stripped from the growing buds early in
ing, and that plug tobacco ought to be
on the trees with clubs instead Of being
oy hand. This the Texas editor said was
Z, and Mr. Greeley challenged him.
Iltusville Herald notices " quinine bis
as the latest novelty in the medicinal
line. Each buscuit, it says, contains one
% grain of quinine. and the taste is 50
ed that hearty individual can put them
until the hair on the back of his head
to curl, without knowing what he ID
Next we shall have castor oil sponge
bushurious bread and squill pancakes fol
delicacies, and all irst-class drugstore,
bake-shop and lunch-room attached to IN,
ption department..
an in Wisconsin has applied for divorce
he ground that his wife married him unde
retenees. he says she told him while b,
dressing her, that she could hoe an acre o
Ses and split two cords of wood betwee,
ss and dinner and she hzd proved hersel
~ fraud because she could only split half
~ hoe only three times across the heId. /
nard that men are continually to be mad
lms Of these designing women. Why vii
'rine in this manner with the tenderest al
OF their husbands7 Why win they thu
'nelr heart-strings7