The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1871-10-26

gO1 hG iidu LOD lllf y cups 6lTGduN-
u have, indeed: each filled to tn
mim.n
$50 1 though, sighed the blu
brother. swell, let me run you il
quietly, now. Don't let's have N
senmmaging; 'eos, If you do, I'll havj
to put you in a wagon"
-In q wagon ~ groaned poor Pot
tletOp. "What have I done to de
serve all this ? Am / living, breath
ing sensible man? Have I my minC
and Judgment about me, or is thi,
some terrible dream ?"
Ny, how can you expect to have
| your mind about you, ven you JCH
take in 50 much at a dose? The jim.
jams Is comm fast"
"Iim james, Another one of Mrs
P.'s lovers, I suppose. He will be the
fourth to-day! Oh, whoever suffered
such misery as mine?"
HE policeman took his arm Ten
derry, and seated him in a chair.
BE quiet, now" he said, in sOOth.
Ing tone. Everybody goes through
this yOu know. 1 knew what it was
the moment / spied you. When she
! spoke"
"She! Sher' shrieked Mr.. POttle-
top, rising to his feet. at is she, in
deed! Listen to me; Yesteerdai,y teeIrgd VA yafs
: = 1s-PPJ fiiatt- a Aau DuCOhe IhOuSIt,
and 1t was her happiness, because !
loved her TO distraction, and fOndly
I believed she loved me i'm return.
I When she gave me that pipe, and
made me promise never to come to
dinner any day before two, little did /
fancy the motive she had at the bot
tom But this morning, by means OF
Rw incautiOns words dropped by
the.housemaid, was led to suspect.
AT The first step toward investigation,
the full and glaring truth dawned up
on me. | watched further. All was
confirmed. Her lovers / discovered to
be numberless. Some were on the
roof, some entered by the window,
some by the front door, Although
yO1. too, are one of them, I tell you
this That you may tell her. This, my
last message, commit"
"BOmmit Uninterrupted the guardian
Of the peace, bouncing off the table
where he had been sitting. "T've
listened to your rigmarOle; but | Won't
let you commit nOthin' here. Come
along, quietly, nOwp'
Come along? What do you mean?
Come along where?
with me, of course! Pm going to
run you in. My pardner's outside
With wagon, so, if you resist, I'il call
him to help me. Blast me if ]
wouldn't be ashamed to walk along the
street With you! Your nose is bloody,
your face Is smeared With mud, your
clothes is full of ashes and feathers,
your eyes is black, and you're 4 Tegu-
lar scarecrOwi Come along, now y,
Mr.. POttletop picked up a chair.
"f you touch me,n he shouted, "I'll
muHier you! Keep of, ruffian-keep
Off
"Oho! That's your game, IS it?
All light, my cOveyv
The policeman went over to the des-
pera'e man, and clutched him by the
shoulders. Then began the struggle.
They tussled about the room, bawling
and hrieking, upsetting the furniture,
tearing down the curtains, smashing
the mirrors, breaking the water-jaT,
and Celuging the carpet with dirty
water.
Tie door opened, and three persons
looking on in Mortified as
They were Mrs. Pottle-
top, General Wagstaffe, and the long
legged individual who had been locked /
up IN the library-closet.
Thtcom batants separated, and stood /
up, OIt of breath. Mr.. POttletOp be |
held lis wife.
"Vie female,n he cried, sit IS all I
over, at last ~
''Ol, PottIetOp !" screamed Mrs. p, |
falling into General Vegetables |
arms.
"Ipo from you for ever P'
"I bld you he wasn't burglar, but /
q lunatic, ma'am," struck in the man /
in blue, triumphantly.
"Here Is the burglar" said General |
al surrounded him, I
charged upon him, and captured him !
myself"
T'I see it all ~ spoke Mrs. Pottletop, |
suddenly. my poor Potty Is the vic
i'm of a series of mistakes. Let him /
explain his share in them"
"Victim l am, indeed, and of a mis-
AXE in you, cruel Sophronista % re-
turned Mr.. p. 'FThis morning, looking
1t my pipe, was seized with a suspi-
ZION that you had some object in Civ
ing il to me yesterday, and making
me promise never to come to dinner /
before two. 1 determined to watch.
stoh into the garden, and hid behind
The gOOseberry-bu bush, and then / per-
1eIvei a man enter our bed room
windDw from the roof"
"Tlat vOs me,n said the generals
eapti;e. al had been behind the
chimney all night, Waiting for a
,hanse to get in and take look at the
"I planted a ladder against the win /
low,' continued Mr.. P, "ascended it,
and 7ent in, too. followed this ruff
ian b the library-eIOset, and locked
him n"
"Ald l." said General Wagstaffe,
'sawyOu going up the ladder from
my scond-story pOrtico opposite, took
you flr q hOrsebreaker, went around
10 yoIr front door, and informed your
wife. She sent for a policeman, and
retuned to the garden, and likewise
ascenied to the ladder"
'tWell," put in the blue gentleman,
iiwhm / arrived, / planted my pard-
ner 6, the front door, slipped around
the hckway, and vos the third party
as wet up the ladder. must beg
this ent's pardon for mistaking him
but duty's duty 2 HOwsomeyer,
there's burglar in the case, and so
shanI have had my trouble for Moth
Ing. Come along, my friend ~ L
Tn general surrender his prisoner I
into ne grip of the law. Then he ap-
proahed Mr.. PottletOp, and took his
hand.
'Si, am happy to make your ac-
under such singular I
. -la.
s'Ihould have preferred them not
uuiteo singular, rcjOined Mr.. POttle- 1
top, Rther ruefuIIy. "However, L de-
servall my misfOrtunes, once having
dou5ed my dear little tOOtsy-wOOtsy
dBw could you ?'' pOuted that
lady. r.".. T.
'sBw couldn't /, is more to the pur-
posewhen you gave the surprising
privRge of smoking, and, what's bet
ter, beautiful pipe to smoke with.
By-te-way, where is it9' .-1
"Nhere is it ~ cried General Wag-
staff clapping his coat-pocket." Bless
me, had quite forgotten it !" .|
Th policeman went up, and touch
ed hn on the shoulder.
'tSall take him along for petty
larcay, sir ," he asked of Mr.. Pottle-
top. | #,
iYhat an efficient Officerm cried
MB.?., admiringly. -.a n-.. T..
'CNfoundedly efficient? grOaned
Mr. :, noting the figure he himself
cut nd observing the ruin about the
fiou-the general smash of every
thill mo; we've had enough
exdtment for one day.
''Ad what a ridiculous cause for
il ~ ghed Mrs. P, 'tOnly pipe %
Ev' since, that has been her great
instrment in managing PottletOp.t
Whesver he begins to grow jealous
or suDieious, she puts her arm around
his NIX, kisses him, and says in the
arChd tone:
"M dear, shall 1 tell you the story
of PGletop's Pipew
II ways settles him.
Persistent BIackguardlsm.
Seetary RObeson has at last put
bis OF down on the worse than
absu usage of 'hazing'i that has so
longeen permitted to obtain 1t the
Nav. Academy, as at other public in