Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-03-09
"
Our Dog in Church.

He was little fustered on first entering
the chapel-so many people there, and all
sitting 30 quiet. In this there was some
thing awesome for Our Dog, and when
ont Of this unnatural quiet they rose sud-
denly to sing, Our Dog was frightened,
and would have run out of doors, only the
doors were closed. He soon recovered
himself They were only folks after all
such as he saw every day in street and
house.
He began to recognize one after another.
He tried TO get up little sociability with
them, but they took little or no notice OF
him. Everybody seemed strangely con-
strained and altered. Our Dog is pet,
and this cut him. But his is self-reliant,
recuperative nature, and he threw himself
on his own resources for amusement. He
was delightfully."- ignorant of the proprie
ties Of church or church service. The
choir is separated from the congregation
only by q slightly raised platform. On
this walked Our Dog. Again there was
singing He smelt first of the organ; he
then smelt of the organist, and wagged his
tail at him. The organist looked with an
amused and kindly eye, but he could not
stop. Our Dog then smelt OF the basso
profundo he smelt of the tenor; he smelt
them first on the one side, and then on
the other. Then he went back and resmelt
them all over again; also the organ. This
was a little curious. There might be a
chorus of dogs inside, and that man at the
KEYS tOrmenting them To him, at any
rate, it was not melody. He walked around
it and smelt at every crack and corner, to
get at the mystery. He tried to coax
little familiarity out of that choir. They
seemed to be having good time; OF
course he wanted hand or a paw in it
himself 1t was Of no use. He stood and
looked, and wagged his white, bushy tail
at them as hard as he could. But, selfishly
they kept all their pleasure to themselves
So he left the choir and came down again
among the congregation. There, sure
enough, were two little girls on the back
seat He knew them; he had enjoyed
many romp with them. Just the thing |!
Up he jumped with his paws on that back
seat; yet even they were in no humor for
play. They pushed him away, and looked
at each other, as if to say Did you ever
sec such conduct in church,"
1t was rebuff everywhere. Our Dog
would look closer into this matter The
congregation were all standing up. So he
walked to the open end of pew, jumped
on it and behind the peoples backs, and
walked to get in front of the little girls,
that he might have an explanation with
them. just then the hymn ceased. Ev-
erybody sat down with subdued crash of
silk and broadcloth Everybody on the
bench came near sitting on Our Dog. ut
was terrible scramble to get out.
Still he kept employed. There was
line of chairs in the aisle. In one OF these
deliberately sat Our Dog. If everybody
would do nothing but sit still, and look
at that man in the pulpit, SO would he.
But somehow he moved one leg inadver
tently. 1t slipped over the chairs edge.
Our Dog slipped with it, and came as near
tumbling as being with four legs can,
All this made noise, and attracted atten-
ton. Little boys and girls and big boys
and girls snickered and snorted and
strained as only people can snicker snort
and strain where they ought not TO. Even
some of the elders made queer faces The
sexton then tried TO put Our Dog out. But
he had no idea of going. He had come
with our folks, and was not going until
they went The strange man grabbed for
him, and he lodged him time and again
with all his native grace and agility. This
was something like; it was fun. The
sexton gave up the chase; it was running
the sermon Our Dog was sorry to see
him go and sit down; he stood at dis
lance and looked at him, as if to say,
Well, amt you going to try it againg"
No. No more of that. Nobody was
doing anything save that man in the pull
pit Our Dog would go up and see what
all that was about So he marched up the
main aisle, and as he did SO he waved, in
majestic and patronizing sort of way, his
busy tail, and 1t seemed to say, Well,
you can sit here, grum and silent, If you've
mind to. l do no such thing. I'm a
dog; need none of your preaching I'm
superior to all that. Things 60 easily
enough with me, without coming here
once week to sit silent, sad, melancholy,
and stupid, and be scolded at by man
whom you pay for it,"
Then, in an innocent and touching ig-
nofance that he was violating all the
prophecies of time and place, Our Dog
went boldly up on the pulpit stairs while
cur minister was preaching, and stood and
surveyed the congregation. Indeed, he APP
propriated much Of that congregations
attention to himself He stood there and
surveyed that audience with a confidence
and assurance which to a nervous and in
experience speaker would be better than
gold or diamonds. He didn't care. He
smelt of the minister. He thought he
would try and see if the latter was in
mood for sociability. No; he was buster
than the rest. The stupidity and silence
Oh all this crowd of people who sat there
and looked at him puzzled Our Dog.
de could see no sense in it. Some little
Boys and girls did smile as he stood there
seemingly, those smiles were for him. But
30 soon as he reciprocated the apparent at
Nhtlon, SO soon as he made for them the
smiles would vanish, the faces became
soiemn. And so at last with yawn, Our
tDog flung himself on the aisle floor, laid
nus head on his fore paws and counted the
oeef bones he had buried during the last
week. Not word of the sermon touched
nlm It went clear over his head.-Lpptn-
cots Aagasins.