The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1871-05-14
Msrnlng Star and Catholic Messenger.
INV ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MAYO lo7lI
WIT AND WISDOM.

~.~sS
Man-hood--a hat.
Song of the billiard ball" Oh, carry me
Aspoiled child-the one that played with
o kerosene can.
When is a man like a looking -glassf
When he reflects.
When may laundress be said to be
starvingf When she CHEATS her iron.
What is it that goes mp the hill and down
the hill, and yet never movesf The road.
What does grocer do with all his things
before he sells them Gives them weigh.
When does an editor play singular
trick with GRAMMAR When he declines an
article.
A Western paper says of an evening
dress: 1t bursts open at the top and foams
all over"
When Adam and Eve partook of the tree
of knowledge, did they study the higher
branches9
Amy Richardson, of Iowa, weighs $50
pounds. No man will marry her, for fear
of big Amy.
AS We often hear of flying brick, we
ought not to be astonished at hearing o
chimney hue.
A shoemaker announces that he is will
ing to give woman not only her rights, but
her lefts also.
The New York teamsters keep very cool
nowadays. There is q nice Bergh there,
which accounts for it.
y sequel to his +" Leaves of Grass" under
the title of "Loads of Hay"
A paper called the Tobacco Plant has re-
Gently been started in Liverpool. 1t must
be . good paper for "puffs."
A wicked old Pittsburger gets close to
the footl,ghts when the Sc Black Crook" is
on. because his " hearing is bad"
The latest thing in earrings are small
Prussian helmets In gold. We should like
to Landwehr they hang-or close by.
A pawnboker having Joined temper
need be no fear about his not keeping the
pledge. Il
Why is baby like sheaf of wheat
Because it is first Graded, and then thrash
ed, and finally becomes the flower of the
family.
Rusticus, in commenting on the present
style of female couture, says, cit must be
a very poor soil that requires so much top
dressing.
Charles Lamb used to say that he had a
great dislike to monkeys. on the principle
that it is not pleasant to look upon ones
poor relations.
A minister not long ago preached from
the text, "Be ye therefore steadfast,n but |
the printer made him expound from s Be |
ye there for breakfast"
cit is remarkable that you are always
my name," said a man named |
Flint. "Why," said Guilt, sits doosed
hard name to remember"
The man at the wheel, who ports his
helm when it should be starboard, and so
runs into another vessel, not only makes a
bull, but also q wild steer.
A dandy is noticed in Chicago of such
nice taste that he greases his boots with
the oil of bergamot. He is cousin to the !
youth that sleeps on a bed of sponge cake.
The latest addition to the Lambs tale is
Mary's lamb became q sheep, just to be
contrary, and Mary said, 'How's that for
steep 2 that's what's the matter with Mary"
to a very importunate beggar, You have
lost all your teeth" And it's time / |
parted with um when I'd nothing for um
to do"
A gentleman took lady out to ride the
other evening, and came home with false
curl attached to the button on the side of
his cap. He wonders how it could have
got there.
Irritating to the feelings-After rolling
all night in your berth at sea, till you are
sick, to have the steward ask you
in the morning if you will have fresh roll
for breakfast.
CT say, Pat" inquired a Scot, "what can
be the use of coming farthingsf" "Why,
to be sure, that Scotchmen may have an
opportunity of subscribing to charitable
A young doctor in a new settlement,
being asked to contribute towards enclosing
and ornamentipc the village cemetery, very
coolly replied that if he filed it he should
do his part.
An Irishman, when asked by lady
whether he would take glass of sherry
Dr. glass of whisky punch, answered that
he would take the sherry while her lady
ship was mixing the punch.
A blond Bavarian girl came before a
coroner the other day and said, "My lover
and 1 agreed to die now while we were
young and lowing He brought two pistols
and shot himself, and 1 was afraid"
Mrs. Esther Morris, that Wyoming female
Justice of the peace, has been obliged to
'etire from the bench for a season. 1t was
! boy, weighing twelve pounds. She is
believed to be the first justice of the peace
hat ever did such thing since the world
began.
The head of Vermont railroad shop
vas aDnlied To for nermissipp RI work nm