Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1871-09-30
General Stems.

weighing 70 pounds.
DR.. Brigham of Pittsfield, has one Of the
finest trout ponds in the State 1t now con-
tains upward of 100 trout weighing all the
way from II pound and II half downward.
One of the candidates lately before IL Cali
fornia county board of examination gave
the following definition of phebotomy:
Phlebotomy--pertaining to the bottom of II
phlee."
A householder in Florida in filling up his
census schedule, under the heading "where
born" described one of his children us born
in the parlor," and the other up stairs" A
strict return.
An elderly matron met Sheriff O'Brien on
his usual morning walk during his recent
visit to Saratoga, and boastingly informed
him that she had just drunk fifteen glasses of
Congress water. "Well, don't let me detain
you" was the quiet reply.
Reuben Rogers of Norwalk Conn. pleaded
guilty in the superior court ut Bridgeport, on
Monday, to the charge of committing incest
with his daughter. He has been for years an
active church member, and while in court
held Il religious newspaper in his hand.
A man in Kansas was present ut the flne-
raj of II neighbor of whom no good could
honestly be said. But everybody was saying
something, and this man, not wishing to APP
pear singular, but being incapable of lying
eulogy, remarked that it was II "nicc, quiet
corpse"
A North Carolina colored juror was re-
Gently seen making rapid tracks for the Vr-
ginia line and upon being accosted bya gen.
tleman us to whittier he was going, confessed
with dismay that he was fleeing the state, as
he had just heard that the Jury was to be
hung"
A North Carolina county thus accounts for
its agricultural status: "In 1868 and 1870
bad crops followed upon radical victories,
and in 1869 and in 1870, with conservative
triumphs, there came good crops to the coun-
ty." Which is certainly putting ones faith
in the rulers.
The Mississippi river is so low that the
captain of one of the boats that goes us farup
us st. Paul has ordered the force engaged
upon his boat to arm themselves with shot
guns, with full authority to fire upon the first
THIRSTY COW SccI urinhlliS lrOlll tllc W;llcrS OI
the about-used-up stream.
Because California candidate advertised
to address the citizens of Jonesville and vi
cnity, he lost the vote of a knowing country
man, who said that he knew all the places
around there, and n man who didn't know
that there wasn't any such place as Vicinity
was too ignorant for him to vote for.
1t is said of late member of the Boston
bar, that once meeting, in the season of the
dog days, the estimable son of father of
rather equvocal reputation, in an absent
minded moment he amazed him by inquring
how the old gentleman stood the heat. The
old gentleman had been dead two months.
Joseph Burch died the other day in the
poorhouse of Hamilton County, Ohio, in his
59th year. He is said to have adopted the
profession of n pauper MS soon us he reached
his legal majority. lie was so much pleased
with it that he followed it with extraordinary
energy and zeal for 81 years, and would have
continued it much longer had not death in
terfered with his laudable ambition. He