The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1871-05-19
THE JOURNAL.
THIS AND THAT.

THIS AND THAT
There was a deacon in New
Hsmpshire by the name Of Day, by
trs5e COOPER. One Sunday hel
bear5 : number Of boys playing IN
'front.' Of his house, and went 20 stop
tbeir Sabbath presking. Assuming
orave counterance, he said to
them: Bows, do you know what
dav this is? eyes, sir, Immediately
replied one Of the boys, "Deacon
Day, the cooper"
Rev. J. H. K-was several
wears since, pastor Of a Methodist
Episcopal Church in Western New
York. During his sermon on a hot
summer Sunday morning Brother
Austin, one of the official members
Of the church, fell fast asleep. Mr..
K--suddenly paused and called
out, Brother Austin, viii you please.
open the window there a little2
Physicians say it is very unhealthy
to sleep in a close room.
When Peter the Great was in
France, the Marquis de Nesle ap-
peared before him every day in a
new dress. "Surely," said the Gar
to him, 'your tailor must be a very
bad one, that he can lever fit you"
Mr.. Collins, Of Hartford, bought,
a feroc1ous watchdog. Mr.. Collins
came home late that night. His
wife saws that his trousers can't be
mended. The dogs skin is for sale
cheap. Mr.. Collins hopes to be able
to sit down in a few weeks.
A new-fangled system Of singing
the hymns has crept into some of
our churches of late years, which
frequently leads to positions which,
but for the sacredness of the occa-
sions, would 90 very far toward the
ludicrous. The favorite repetition
ofthe first syllable has not unfre-
quently been known to result in
such harmonies as these:
e1dy poor pol,
NY pOOL p0l-g
Ny poor polluted heart"
aOur great SAL,
Our great SAL,
Our great salvation comes"
During the recent anniversary
meetings in this city, reverend
gentleman who was occupying the
position of chairman, was made the
subject of an exhaustive eulogy by
one of the speakers. His life was
reviewed from the cradle, and pros
pectivelv viewed to the grave, with
nnbounded admiration. The rever-
end bore it with grave face, and at
the close, leaning toward reighbor,
he whispered, "Now / know just how
griddle cakes feel when molasses is
poured over them"
A man went to Mr.. Greeley, the
other day, and told him he was des-
titute, he didn't even have cent,
and wanted to know what he should
do. Horace scratched his head and
thought a minute, and then said
"In tell you what to do. You buy
q ten-cyiinder Hoe press and go out
to some station on the Pacific rail
road, away from civilization, and
start an eightpage morning paper,
and grow up with the country"
The man is around now trying to
borrow money to buy ten-cylinder
plate Of hash.
A good story is told of a man
who went for the first time to a
bowling alley, and kept firing away
at the pins to the imminent peril of
the boy, who, so far from having
anything to do in setting up" the
pins, was actively at work in an en-
deavor to avoid the ball Of the play
er, which ratified on all sides Of the
pins without touching them. At
length the fellow seeing the predica-
ment the boy was in, yelled out as
he let drive another ball. 'Stand in
amongst the pins, boy, if you don't
want to get hurt!"
An eminent journalist in Kala-
mazoo, Mich, declared in his paper
that a rival editor had seven toes.
The rival editor thereupon came out
in doubleheaded article, in which
he denounced the statement SIS un-
truthful, and declared that the "au-
thor of it was liar and a scoun-
drel." The eminent journalist re-
Piled that he didn't for a moment
wish to have it understood that he
meant that all seven Of those toes
were on one foot. And now the
rival editor tries TO avoid the public
scorn by asking his readers serious
". "Are these subjects which
ought to be discussed in organs
whose duty it is to mould public
1pinion~