The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1871-11-30
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

deed. They teach every man to know
his own station, and to stop there.
A man reading newspaper in bar
room, day or two since, asked another:
whats the Bohemian Diet, about
which we hear 80 much of latew "Free
lunches" was the ready reply.
A Danbury, Conn.,, school-boy dis
turbed the symmetry of family heir
loom by saving off the top of his great
grandmother's bed-posts for set of
croquet balls. And the night he did it
he slept very warm.
A new style of obituary item-brief
but to the point-has been invented
thus: "John Smith, of New York, re-
volver;" &C. Jenkins, of Philadelphia,
third-story window" "Ann Jones, of
New Jersey, laudanum."
An enterprising resident of Detroit is
taking orders for the delivery of buck
wheat cakes to families. The cakes are
to be delivered before breakfast, and are
to be furnished cheaper than they can
be manufactured at home.
A Berkshire papa put it thus to his
daughters beau: "Jim, if you want
Lou you can have her but don't want
you hanging around unless you mean
business. If you intend to marry her,
hurry up, for 1 can't be kept awake
nights much longer"
A gentleman engaged in ivestigating
the charges of carelessness against the
workmen in the Scranton mines, found
afterward that, during the investigation,
he had been given an open keg of
powder to sit on, while he held lighted
candle in his hand.
An exchange spoke of an eminent
citizen as ga noble old burgher, proudly
loving his native State )" which neat
little compliment came from the COM
positor's hands reading, "a nobby old
burglar, prowling around in naked
state"
Professor Henry says that the observa-
tions Of the Smithsonian Institution.
which extend over a period of twenty
years, have as yet failed to confirm the
popular belief that the removal of the
forests and the cultivation of the soil
tend to diminish the amount of rain
fall.
The latest feature in steam, as far as
its appliance to industrial pursuits is
concerned, is its employment in assist
ing to make fine shirts. A firm in Bal
timore have now in operation fifty sew-
ing machines that are worked by steam,
and it is described as curious sight to
witness girls seated at the machines,
with no other duty to perform but to
thread needles and guide the muslin.
By this new system it is stated shirt
can be made entire in fifty-fve min
utes.
The Supreme Court of Iowa has re-
Gently decided that the law requiring
punctual attendance at school is for the
pupil, and must be enforced. Of tardi-
ness, the Court says: "The good of the
whole school cannot be sacrificed for the
advantage of the pupil who happens to
have an unreasonable father, and, as
the law now is no other means can be
devised for enforcing regular and
prompt attendance than the penalty Of
expulsion"
A story is told of two travellers WIN
were assigned to the same bedroom IN
crowded hotel. Before retiring one
of them knelt down to pray, and con-
fessed a long catalogue of sins. On
rising from his knees he saw his fellow
traveller, valise in hand, going out of
the door, and exclaimed: "What's the
matterY What's upY" "Oh, nothing"
was the reply; "only I'm not going to
risk myself with such a scamp as you
confess yourself to be-"
Professor Hayden, Chief of the Geol-
ogical Survey of the Territories, reports
many interesting and curious facts
about that " wonderland" the valley of
the Upper Yellowstone River and
, Lake. Among other facts he states that
the geological formation of the valley is
wholly volcanic, and that it contains
between one thousand and fifteen hun
dred hot springs. The "Grant" geyser
throws column of hot water eight feet
in diameter to height of over two hun
dred feet at regular intervals of thirty
two hours
They are again agitating the distilla-
tion of spirits from the garbage of cities.
Alchohol, it is well known, can be dis
titled from anything that ferments, no
! matter whether the fermenting matter
be loaf of unbaked bread or a reeking
garbage vessel. In this process the gar
bsge is gathered from the houses of citi-
} zens, dumped into water-tight vats,
boiled for several hours, the grease is
carefully skinned off for soap-making
purposes, and the pulpy mass fermented
and distilled. The refuse goes to the
cornheld, the peach orchard, or the vine
yard. A barrel of garbage yields three
pounds of soap grease and four gallons
of proof spirits. The philosophical and
chemical mind may know that whiskey
distilled from garbage is as pure and
cleanly as that which comes from corn
but for o steady beverage the ordinary
drunkard will doubtless prefer sound
Bourbon or Old Rye.
A distinguished Ex-Governor of Ohio,
famous for story telling, relates that on
: one occasion, while addressing a temper
! ance meeting at Georgetown, District of
! Columbia, and depicting the misery
caused by indulging too frequently in
the flowing bowl, his attention was at
tracted to the sobs of disconsolate and
, seedy looking individual in the rear part
l of the room. On going to the person and
8 interrogating him, he was told the: usual
5 tale of woe; among other sad incidents
that during his career OF vice he had
8 buried three wives. The Governor, ,hay.
s ing buried few wives OF his own, sym.
pathized deeply with the inebriate, and
consoled him as much as was in his
{ power. Said he, "The Lord has indeed
a afflicted you" The mourner sobbingly
: replied, Yes, yes, he has," and pausina