Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1871-04-05
the mos. prominent part of the local

the most prominent part of the local
columns.
Scarcely had the office opened In the
morning when In stalked General Cobb
with an Ahd in his hand, hasty, pro
fame and irascible. "Where's Mac
Crellish? Damn 1t, look here. AHd
says there was nearthquaks yesterday,
and q big sale coming of tomorrow.
Block and 'alf In Western Addition:
Look a here, you; you just tell Mac II
he don't contradict It In words bigger
nor a sign there'll DO Jumping Jerusa-
lem to pay. I never felt no earthquake,
and l bleeve it's q put-up lie to run
down the price Of that block and ais"
and exit the urbane General, with q
string of oaths reaching from the Alta
office to Maurice Dore's salesrooms.
No sooner had he taken his depar-
ture when in came Il. B. Swain, slowly
reading the dreadful paragraph. "Has
Mr.. MacCrellish come down yet? No.
Rather late. isn't he? Just say to him
that the Chamber Of Commerce notices
that there Is a drunken reporter on the
Altos stafF-the one that imagined an
earthquake yesterday. Oh, yes; l
suppose reporters will drink. I have
already telegraphed East to contra
dict. I told the telegraph clerk to
charge to the Ata's account, by the by.
Ask Mr.. MacCrellish to step round to
my office when he comes In. That
reporter would ruin your paper In
three months. Good morning." and
away he went.
And so 1t went on all the morning.
Deputations from Front street came to
expostulate; auctioneers rushed In,
threatening to withdraw their ads. and
give them to the Times bankers mes
sengers brought notes after notes, re-
questing the attendance of Mr.. Mac
Crellish In the bank parlors commits
sion merchants sent up two bits by
small boys, and ordered their paper
stopped Times stock rose O hundred
per cent, and the Alta office was In a
state Of the ~profoundest gloom.
Aboutnoon in walked Mac, all smiles
and good nature. singing to himself, as
Is his wont, a humorous ditty about
"She Sleeps In the Valley" He had
barely crossed the threshold when he
found himself facing a committee Of
indignant real estate owners, headed
by Michael Reese. "My God, Mac
Crellish! you fool enough to feel that
shock yesterday, and all my monish
out, with no earthquake clause In the
mortgages" commenced Michael, the
Liberal.
Earthquake Oh, yes, I remember,
rather a lively shake up, wasn't 1t?
Did no damage, I hope. l was round
at Collins at the time, taking a drink
with Pickering, DR.. Cox, old man Glib
bons and q few others"
"Mr. Crellish, do you really
mean to say you felt an earthquake
yesterday" ominously asked the
lengthy Friedlander, as no surveyed
the un%suspecting Mac through his
squarcst of spectacles.
"Certainly 1 did. Didn't I say l
was at Collins"
damn Collins" exclaimed Elder
Knapp the had just been investing his
gospel earnings In Montgomery street
property "why don't You speak up
like n man and flee from the wrath-I
mean did the Aitd feel it,"
~ hope not, l hope not" calculated
the alarmed newspaper proprietor,
now for the first time oomprehending
the situation, "Upton, Brooks, Whym-
per, Evans, Swannick, halo, there
DID THE ALTA FEEL AN EARTHQUAKE
YESTERDAY? e.
There was q terrible silence and then
a small voice was heard from a back
room: "If you please, sir, he's paid
off two hours ago."
And another chlmed In: Sand it's
contradicted In New York and Chi
cago."
And q third said lit was one of the
Notistsl: "And the a%uctioneers Is null
lifted by an extension of time"
And n fourth added /: "And we got
a second edition out explaining 1t was
a joke"
Then, says the narrative, MacCrel-
llsh sank down overcome with CRATE.
full emotion, Elder Knapp and Michael
Reese embraced each other mike de-
clares he felt a hand In his pocket
during the operation, but as there was
only q button to steal he didn't carey.
Friedlander danced a sailors horn
pipe, Cobb swore at them all for q set
Of damned fools, and 1t ended by the
party adjourning to Collins and max
Ing a night Of It; the proceedings,
continues the yarn, being much enliv,
ened by n comic sermon from the Elder
and the acrobatic feats OF Mr.. Reese,
who for n wager Of five cents took
three flying jumps over Friedlander's
shoulders without breaking that gen.
tleman's spectacles.
And since that memorable occasion
the Alta has never felt an earthquake,
and never will If It Is possible to
avoid 1t. JACK HoRNER.