The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1871-12-15
BROwNsM1TH's ADVENTURE.

George ", of magnificent memo
~, said that a woman was at the bot
tom of all the troubles q ma got
himself into. Que fine day pail ter
in his Maiesty's fell down from q
ladder and broke his leg.
Who is she? Who is she 2" asked
the King.
"Msy it please your Majesty, it is q
man.
"VOnsense, nonsenseI I Who is she
again demanded his Majesty.
May it please your Majesty, it Is
3 man."
But the King was in the right
The painter had broken his leg be-
cause be had leaned too far over his
ladder fer the purpose of giving a
kiss to enc of the housemaids.
Now to apply the august mixim,
and show how Mrs. BrOwnsmith go'
me into trouble.
Ny wife is a splendid woman, as
you would say if you saw her. But
proud as [ was of her, we lad MOI
been married long befo l saw that
if was to be master for life. l must
assert my authority at once and for
ever.
l waited for an opportunity, and All
opportunity came.
We were in the breakfast room o.
our little villa. near Sandstone, aud
long alteration ended thuh:
''Well, Mr.. BrOWusmith, if YOU
have made up your mi d not TO take
me to the seaside. [ have made up III,
mind to go to my mrther's hOu-r.
end stay there till YOU chOnse to be-
have like man, and not like a -av-
age. CO."
With an eloquent sweep of her
rustling petite, ats, she lett the room
and shortly after | "a her crt Ss IN
garden in the di, ction of Acacia Coz
tage, where my beloved mOther-in
isW reSides-unhsppily for me, wi n
in five minutes walk Ofus.
"t'll show her-I1l tame her lady
ship" inan evil moment thought tu
myself.
So packed & small portmantesu
ordered a fly TO take me tn the sra'iO".
and left this little note on my wife =
dressing table.
"DEAR AUGUSTA: leave for Lo =
don by the 2 80 expre-s, and -haI
not return until / receive an apology
rom YOU. Ny address will be Lang
ham HSteI, Portland Place, w.
sunny Villa, Friday"
Certainly, I thenght, I had IN.
nest of it. There shOne before me ~
pleasant run to toWn-sxhibItiOn H.
The morning, theatres and operS IN
the evening, 81 cOnquerOr's returu
home, and triumphant entry into my
house before my subdued WIFI, al
overflow ing forgiveness on my p,rt
q joyful reconciliation, and peare for
svermore. Soon, with excited spirits
| was borne away from nv home to-
ward London by the express. Their
was but once occupant of the first
class carriage with me, and q most
agreeable companion he waS--full OF
conversation, we'll educated, ss tar a.
could judge, very obligiug and en-
tertaining. The only thug | did
not like about my companion was his
style of dress. It was mo- decided
Iy of the Outre order. Boots with
patent leather tips; trowsers of Il
mOnstrOus pattern; a low cut bright
cOiored waistcoat, across which wan
dered chain apparently 30 massive
that any hotel keeper to whom it was
offered would gladly allow one t.
live luxuFi0usly on the strength nf il
tor & month. Then as [ raised nv
eyes higher, my sight was dazzled
with q huge blue satin scatf. fastened
by pin of gigantic size. And cut
way green coat, unbuttoned, a white
open Overcoat, a white har, and
bright kid gloves, and you have be-
fore yOn the dress of nay companion.
However, he was a downright good
fellow, and most amusing Wis u Wis
and very glad was to travel in such
good society. Anecdotes without
end were poured into my enchanted
ear. Ny quarreIy wife, my home,
were all forgotten aud in the high
est spirits were rushed along toward
London. at the rate of some fOrtN
miles an h6ur. I had almost forgot
ten to say that early in the journey
my friend, WHO had fla of sherry
had placed itat my seTvice. We had
jest passed E. station, when the
gentleman with whom | was travel
ing directed my attention TO some al
terations that were being made in
Mr.. Montgomery park. Bv lean
ing out of the window, | could get q
| head in, NV friend kindly handed me
my pocket Handkerchief, which had
dropped. The wind ahd dust whic"
had picked up while hanging out
of the carriage wind w caused me tU
use my pocket handkerchief frerI,
about my race and nose. How very
sleepy 1 felt-hO ? yswued! I re-
collect nothing more, save that
| think nv friend took his pnck et
handkerchief and kindly wiped my
face. When I say that l recOllec
nothiI e more, | an hardly using
| the right xpression-mesn that
can -recollect nothing more hat oc
curred in my friends preaen"e
| Word TO heaven that | could re
mem Ter nothing morei
The next thing | can recall is fe eli
ing rather cold then rather confused
| aud cramped. l seemed apparently
in my coffin, and without a shrouC
on. In few minutes I discovereC
that was lying under the seat o
the carriage, in the state Adam wa
in when he was made-nO, just tri
fle more clothed than he was, tor
had pair of socks and q short fan
mel waistcoat. So you can easily un
derstand that / was neither yer,
warm nor very presentable. Whei
had succeeded in dragging mysei
out of bed, still felt drunk aud con
fused, but as l gradually collected m,
senses, 1 saw that my lsst absent kint
friend had left behind him, for n,
nse, his psIent tipped boots, bui
trOWsers, gaudy Wsistcsst, scarf ant
pin; white coat and hat. Moreover
he had not forgotten to draw dow
/ the blinds. He had, however, [ dis
covered, taken my purse with hin
, and had forgotten to leave his owl
behind. Between yawning aud an
r sthemadzing, few more moment
Z sba -, shrsiff rrrbSsffa an1 tba Hoo