The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-04-15
My First Experience In Journalism
81 MARK TWAIN.

was very smart child at the age of thirteen
an unusually smart child, / thought at the
time. II was then that did my first newspa.
per scrlboling, and, most Unexpectedly TO ne it
stirred up fine sensation il the community It
did, indeed, and l was very proud Of it, too.
l was "a printers devil and d progressive
and aspiring one. Ny uncle had me on his pa.
per, (the Weekly Hannibal Journal" TWO dol
lars year in advauce-500 subscribers. and they
paid in cordwood, c4bbages and uumarkstabIIe
turnips) and on lucky summers day he left
town, to be gone week, and asked me ii
thought l could edit one issue of the paper Judi.
cous!y. All, didnJ want 70 try. Hinton was
the editor OF the rival paper He had lately been
Tilted, and one night friend found an open note
on the poor fellows bed, in which he stated that
he could no longer endure life aud had drowned
himself in Boar Creek. The friend Tan down
there and discovered Hinton wading back to
shore he had concluded he wouldn't. The
village was full of ii FOR several days, but Hin
ton did not suspect it. thought this was fine
opportunity. l wrote an elabora.elv wretched
account ~ the whole matter, and then illustrated
IT with vll!alnous cuts engraved the bottom
OF wooden type with jack.knise--onc of them
a picture of Hinton wadiny ont into the creek in
his shirt, with y lantern, sounding the depth of
the water with u walkng.stck thought i,
was desperately funny. aud was deusey uncon.
scious that there was any moral oblquity about
such publication. Being satisfied with this
effort, l looked about TOR other worlds to con.
quer, and it struck me that it would make ccod
interesting matter TO charge the editor Of
neighboring country paper with piece of yra-
tuitous rascality, and "see him squlrm !" | did
1t, putting the article into the form Of parody
on the Burial of "Sjr ohm Moore'-and pretty
crude parody it was, too. Then I lampoohed
two prominent citizens outrageously-not be.
cause they had dene any thing to deserve it, but
nerely because | thought it was my duty to
make the paper lively. Next | gently touched
up the newest strang er--the lion Of the day, the
gorgeous iourneyman tailor from Quincy. He
was simpering coxcemb of the first water and
the 'loudest" dressed man in the State. He was
an inveterate woman-kiler. Every week he
wrote lushy poetry for the "jo,lrRQl' about
his newest conquest. His rhymes for my week
were headed "MARY N H." meaning Mary
in Hannibal, of course. But while setting up
the piece was suddenly riven from head to heel
by what regarded perfect thunderbat of
humor and compressed it into snappy foot
note at the bottom, thus: 1--WE will let this
thing pass, Just this once: but we wish Mr.. j.
Gerdon Runnels to understand distinctly that
we have character to sustain, and from this
time forth, when he wants to commune with his
| trends In HI, he must select some other me-
dunn than the columns of this iourNal"
The paper came out, and never knew any
little thing attract much attention as those
playful trtles of mine. For once TIE Hannibal
'Jou'7,d" was in demand--a novelty 1t had not
experienced before The whole town was stirred
Hinton dropped in with double.barrelel shot.
gun early in the forenoon. When he found that
it was an infant las he called me- that had done
him the damage. he simply pulled my ears and
went away; but he threw up his situation that
night and left town for good. The tailor came
with his goose and pair of shears; but he des.
pissed me, too, and departed for the South that
night The two lsmpoened citizens came with
threats Of libel, and went away inceused at nv
insgnifcance. The country deitor pranced in
with war.whoop next day. suffering for blood
to drink; but he ended by forgivng me cordial.
ly and inviting me down TO the drug store to
wash away all animoity in a friendly bumper
of "Fahnestook's Nermifuge" 1t was his little
joke.
My uncle was very angry when he got back
unreasonahly so, l thought, considering whit Nh
impetus l had given the paper, and considering
also that gratitude for his preservation ought to
have been uppermost IN hi. mind, inasmuch as
by his delay be had 80 wonderfully escaped dis.
section, tomnhaw king libel, and getting his head
shot of. But he soiten,d when he looked ut the
accounts and saw tina, had actually booked the