The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1871-11-03
Bits by the Way.
BY MADALENE CLARKE


Cousin John. Every respectable
family" should occasionally speak OF
Cousin John. After giving my opinion,
all unasked, concerning this cOusinship,
l will proceed to say that l, myself, have
really Cousin John, a good sort of a
creature, although the whole four gem
eratiOns demonstrated all kinds of reclx-
lessness by "JOhn," ever since there
was such an individual. He is a gener-
ous-hearted person, everybody appeals
to him for sympathy, from the mayor
down TO the echimney-sweep, and always
obtains it. He had a cheerful word for
every one. And vet he was a needless,
lawless, fOrgetful fellow. All the rela-
tives predicted a failure when John
started in business, and were somewhat
surprised when he went quietly on.
A last the rumOr came TO me that
John was to be married. ] was credu-
lous, believing he would forget all about
il, even if the day chad been set" One
morning he came to me, blushing and
stammering. "Well, john" said /,
'what disgrace are you in now"
"NOu have the control of your own
time,n said he nervOusly, "and do wish
you would come up to my new house
and begin the housekeeping. / am
gOi9g to T, the week after next, after
Mrs. John, and / would like everything
hOme-like and coy. have no sisters;
you will not refuse me, Susan ?''
''If l were sure of your return -n
There, there - he cried, 'T have
been lectured by all the other members
of my race, and | wish you would for
bear. Just say you will go, and | will
come for you i'll the morning.
When a woman begins to count thirty
in years, she must expect to make her
self a convenience, if she happens to
remain in possession of her own cogno-
men. That is the reason felt myself
bound to accede to Johns request.
had become accustomed to being the
''odd number" and had shouldered
all the duties of the position number of
years; placed myself ia the 100y when
! might be useful, crept quietly out when
l discovered my room would be more
acceptable than my presence. I'm fact
l had considered myself a sort of 'itin-
Grant, long before John made known
his especial need of me.
. In due time the cottage was in order;
very pleasant, save the odOr of new fur
niture, and John brought his wife. She
was a bright, rosy woman-girlish,
thought. / was afraid my cousin had
made very injudiciOus selection, inas-
much as he was so unstable himself
feared she lacked firmness, and had little
decision Of character.
l promised to remain a few weeks,
until the wheels of household care should
become well in motion. And / was all
the more willing because l wished TO
know how Mrs. John succeeded with
her careless husband. I may as well
state here that John had a temper and
when any one ventured to speak of his
Irregular habits, he usually made quite
show of il. | am sorry to say, the
particular family to which l belong are
considered ill-tempered. / take il for
granted that no other family are so af-
fiicted, from the fact that whenever one
of Us manifest this disposition, hear it
said that 'that is the - Of him or her.
using the family name i'm place Of the
blank. 1 considered temper a common
frailty until / had made an especial note
of this
John was the best of husbands for "A
time-that was natural. But his care
less ways OVercame his tender care at
last, and Mrs. John was perpleXed. He
invariably forgot to bring home any
article for which she had asked, and
was lndispensable-Mrs John was a
prudent wife-to the household, or was
ooiiVlous to the fact thatlIahad promised
70 IeaNe an order at the market, until
,l. oile VI ttliiller-hour. Really, ,he was quite
apt TO forget all about the'dinner-bour
9ihe at the hotel with a friend. leaving
hIs: John ana myself TO weary with
waiting, ana then partalle of "A cold dim
ner with no appetite. He ALWAYS came
nome happy, with glib excuse. and ono
could never scOld him
MIS- John was somewhat astouished
Wheh informed her one day that her
husband was merely conducting himself
in his natural manner. and that sba
must expect to endure it all her life.
also informed her that the relatives were
watching her domestic management.
especially of John. / fancied her rosy
cheeks grew crimson, or else it was a
reflection from the CRATE; but she said
not one word. John came home at last.
cheerful and overfiowing with excuses.
as usual His wife smiled-very out of
place | thought-and the matter seemed /
settled
Next day Mrs. John was singing like
a olIg' busy with her music, happy with
ner flowers. / gently limited that the
n1oontide might not be so far off as She
tanGled; "a DG;. "Oh, we will not have dinner
1',,,aiS ;, said she; ''yOu and will takea
find as none of my affair if John did
,1aSt t,,.5ylu !. oGlu dinner. Promptly al half
fo,. MMeINS 49, lhe lunch was served and
nor 9,I in oS.,,.,ih Johh arrived. "No dim
Mrs. John stood on her tint.
hlm, and then said: stYonn 80 go Kissed hlsse,l
nave been very much occ11i,o4 9ear, ! ;
knowing how little you mind difiu, di',,,,hq ana
just concluded we would have a Inner inner :, !
A light dawned in my slow brai,, H.
VERY well, " he replied. Holm ii,..
a good dinner, and knew he was yexed \
lie endeavored to be genial but misera- !
bly, failed. Complaining of headache Ia :
bade US goodbye, leaving Mrs. .Iobn
smiling and patting the carpet with her !
little foot :
The afternoon passed swiftly, as we !
had callers, and evening seemed to come /
all too soon. Tea was late, John early. i
Mrs. John was in no hurry; she leisureiy a
went her way, growing more sunny as f
John grew morose; and when the tea