Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1871-10-26
MisrrIIamrous.
Artemus Ward Visits Brigham Young.


Il is now goin' on , (too) wears. as |
very well remember, since | crossed
the Flames for kalifornv, the Bri,c land
of Jold. While crossin the Planes all
80 bold fell IN with sum noble red
men OF the forest n. B.-This is rotc
Sarcastic. lnjins is Pizn, whar ever
found.) which thay Said was their
Brother, x wantid for to smoke the
Calnmel- Of Eaace With me Tnay then
stole my jerk beef, BLANKETS, ctscttery.
skalpt my origin grinder X >cooted
with Wild Hoop. the Cheats
techln speech he scd he shood met me
in the Happy Huntin Grounds. II he
duz thare will he fight But enuif Of
this are. Reren .NDpss NuHons. ~
our skOOlmastar, who has got Talent
into him Cussy callv observes.
| arroye at salt Lake in doc time
At Camp Scott thare was lot Of L. ).
sojers hostensibly sent out thare 10
smash the mormons but really 10 eat
Salt vittles AXlay poker y other beau
tiful but sumwhat onsartin games. |
got acquainted with sum of the officers
They lookt putty scrumpschus in their
Bloc coats with brass outings onto un
d ware very talented drinkers, but 30
fur as fitin is consarnsd lde willingly
put my wax figgers agin the hull party
Ny desire was 10 exhibit nv CRATE
show in Salt Lake City, SO | called on
BRIGHAM fUNG, the CRATE mogul amung
the mormins, and axed his pernishun
10 pitch my tent and onfIrl my banner
10 the jentle breezis. He lookt at me
IN a austeer manner for few minits q
said
do you bleeve in solomon, Saint
Paul the lmmaculateness Of the Nor
min Church, and the Latter-day Rev
elashuns
Sez |, line on l make it a pint TO
git along plesunt. tho l didn't know
what under the Son the old fellcr was
drivin at. He sed mite show.
You air marrid man, Mister Yung,
bleeve| sez l. preparin to write him
sum free parsis.
i hev eighty wives, Mister WARD.
l sertinly am marrld.'
How do you like it as far as YOU hev
got.' sed l.
He sed .middlin,' and axed wouldn't
like to see his famerly, TO which re-
plide that l wouldn't mind minglin
with the fair Seek d Barskln in the
winnin Smiles of his interestin wives.
lie accordingly TUX me TO his Harem.
The house is powerful big & in an ex-
ceedin large room was his wives and
children, which larst was squakin and
hollerin enuff TO take the roof rite orf
the house. The wimin was Of all sizes
and ages. Sum was pretty & sum was
pane-sum was healthy d sum was on
the Wayne-which is verses, tho sich
was not my intenshuns, as l don't
prove Of putin verses in Proze ritins,
tho if occashun requires can Jerk
Pom ekal to any Of them Atlantic
Monthly iellers.
Ny wives, Mister Ward sed Yung.
Your sarvant, marms, sed l, as
sot down in chair which red-heded
female brawt me.
Besides these wives you see here,
Mister Ward said Yung, Il have eigh-
ty more in varis parts Of this conscre-
Gated land which air Sealed to me-
which, SEE l, gettin Up & starin at
him.
Sealed, Sir, sealed
WHARF bowts? seZ /.
Il sed. Sir, that they was sealed! !
He spoke in traggerdy voice.
'Wil. they probbly continue on in
that stile to any CRATE extent, Sir? l
axed.
Sir sed he, turning as red az a bill
ell beet, don't you know that the rules
OF our Church is that l, the Profit.
may hev as meny wives as l wants?
.Jes so,' l sed. You are old pie,
amt you!
Them as is Sealed to me-that is to
say to be mine when wants um-air
at present my sperretooul wives, sed
Mister Yung.
Long may they wave sez l. seein l
sboOd git into scrape eff l dident look
out.
In q private conversashus with Brig
ham lernt the folierin fax: 1t takes
him six Keeks To kisa bis lives, He