Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1871-01-17

Notes on Medical Science ce-Extensive and
Startling Practise of DR.. Simon Socks
Brilliant Success.


Brilliant Success.
out immejertly and forrud the bill to Big Owl
| hav got plenti ov praktis, plenti ov mum
and no pore kin. Since | last rit to | ha,
hsickt mo people fur crater No. ov diseases
with mo astonishin suckcess and fur less mum
nj akkordin to the kures than the hole Medi
Gle Fakerlty ov the Kounti jined togethir. Mi
! headquarters ar still at Big Owl, but fur
wekes mi hine-quawters have bin in the saddil.
l hav broak doun 2 hosses and a Jackass and
am now aridin ov a fulbuded nitemar. Mi
oni rekrerashun durin the hollerdais has bin
bastin ov teeth fur people ov Kuller who had
kotch kole durin the kOo snap. l hav lnven-
tnd nu methud ov extraktin ov EN-, that vii
bring EN- out no mattir how deap tha ar sot. =
| 1t ar as follers: If the tuthe ar holler FL the
kaviti with gun-kotton and appl lifted match.
! Ii dekad at the rute. punch a hole with peg
| gin orl, FL it up with rok-powdir and standin
| in the rere ov the patiunt tech her off with a
| chunk ov fire. On krismas day | blastid 16
fur an agid femail at l sittin, havin 1st had her
he'd sekurely hooped bi hooper who livs on
Groun Squirt Kreke. The operashun wur bu-
| tful, doing no damig except that she vii hav
to git the rufe ov her mouth shlngled agin.--
Its surprisin what kuriositis ar foun In the hol-
ler teethe ov sum ov these old darkeys Pete
bed yung mice, and in preparin ov 1t fur a
blast | shuveled out pervishuns enuf to fede it
weke if it wur at awl ekernomikle. Out ov
anuther feller's tuthe [ forkt up tolable-slze
kake ov beeswax, and upon investigator ov the
fax, foun out that last Summir while he wur
aslepe in fence korner with his mouth wide
open, swarm ov bumble-bees okkerpied the
premises.
But these littil dentle EXPERIMENTS ar mere
ly the BIZ plas ov mi praktis. hav bin tretin
awl kines ov diseases, kronick and akute, inclu-
din Histetria and Obstercks. Havln promlst
to repote sum ov the most strikin kases fur the
benefit of the Medicle Assosiashun ov the
Kounti, kopi frum mi dry the followin ak
kount shown what kin be dun bl bold and
scentifck pracktis:
''Sont fur Mundi the End to see George
Washington Tomus Jefirsun Beesly Buckin-
ham Jonson, aged AZ, sed bi the messenger to
be orful six. When [ got thar | foun Beesly
on the flo rigglin powful. His ize wur sot so
that kood see nuthin but the whites His
notify har had awl KUN untwisted and stood up
strate on his he'd like bristles on horg's bak
or quils upon fretful porkerpine. His tung
wur alayn upon his brest kured up like pi-
senus sarpent. The breth what was left In him
he fotched hevvy, and smelt so onkommon
strong ov ingons that it put out kandle at a
distance of fete. Pulse betin lis in a mint
and the temperatur of his skin 255 Faren
Hete Maid a kareful dognosis ov his kase
and decidid at wunst what wur the mattir with
Mistir johnson, which wur konfrmed when [
foun out that he had fed at dinner time on ing
ons dried appils. parcht korn and ror kabbage.
Dognosis -Labrin undir what ar teknikelly
termed Rebelyun ov the Bowls. In uther
wurds sevril ov his entrils had got tide in
hard not, and it wur an orful tuf job to git en
ontangled. The follerin wnr the
Ifetement-1st. Pored J pint of Melons
apple-jack doun his throte, wharupon his tung
immejertly krawled bak inter his mouth.
End. Sprinkled littel skotch snuff In the
korner ov his ize and tina rolled bak at wunst
inter propir posishun. His wull wur dubbed
and twisted agin by mekanikle process. Hav
In reduced these exturnal exsentristis | next
attakt the inturnal sete ov the fereful diseese
bl adminsterin 2 ouncls oy kroton lie and IL
ov RunnePs pills, washin ov it doun with
quart ov watir frum the Loan Founting I'm
dir this aktiv tretement the patiunt riz to awl
fores and begun to whistil the Arkinsaw Tray
lir l then trotted him severil times aroun the
yard punchin ov him up with hot poker,
which hoesum exircise perduced immegit re-
axiom and pirspired him periusely. He swetted
CRATE drops ov lngun j0oce, arter which he
seemed konsidrubly reresht | left sootbin
perskriptshun and promist to kali agin. On
the follerin mornin fulfilled mi promis and
foun Mr.. Jonson intirey relieved, tho sum
what redooced in flesh. His appetite had kum
bak and he war settin on the trunt steps
drinkin kole pot-liker out ov J gallon gorde.
| don't charg these DO Affrikins nuthin onli
fur the fsick but niger haint got no CRATER
tude When | gets holt ov rich white man
tho | bledes him freely. [ charged l feller
that oans hepe ov Ian and has no Children,
% dollurs fur cuttin guabile out oy his big
TO- TUX it out with koe chsil.
Dnrin the hollerdas went doun to The toun
ov Churchvil to replenish mi stok ov pills which
wur agettin To- but the store-kepers were kene
out Tha sed that arter nj kard appeered pee
pokes and baught em bi the pint. Churchvil
ar a live toun-at leest it wur the da I got
thar. The promernunt sitisens wur turned out
in the pubik squar amusln ov themselves bi
tyin pop-krakers to dorg's tales and startin ov
em on run up Name Stree 1t wur fun to
the sitersins, but orni skary to the dorgs. L
met venerable ole Fersshun doun thar hi the
naim ov Noels. lie don't belong to the Medi-
kle Sersiefy and eli | talk pardner at awl |
think it will be him. He has had sum expe-
rience afiSickin hosses and uther kines oV beests
and he kood assist in the animile part ov the
praktis
In kouklusion, Mister Mosy, kin l get to
bic NE 2 bushils and of pills, and send
them out bi Jon Mullins poni express. Tel
him to Ieeve the bag at Ellndirsburg, in the
kare ov mi vallible friend, Mister Dimund. Its
surprisin that Mistur Horskik furgot to put
this place doun on the Kounti map. It is sed
TO be the pint whar the wurl Wur kommenst.-
q kin see the quirl in the groun.
Hurrldly yures,
DUBBLE S. NJ. D.