Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-09-29
Humorous and Witty.
VINO was Richard the Third before he
was himself again p

VINO was Richard the Third before he
was " himself again?"
"YoU say" said Judge to witness,
"that the plaintiff resorted to an ingen-
ious use of circumstantial evidence;
state just exactly what you mean by
that" "Well," said the witness, "my
exact meaning is that he lied"
A CONNECTICUT ruralist drank his first
glass of soda very solemnly the other
day, and then, eyeing the clerk, inquir-
ingly, anxiously remarked; cts all
right, | 'spose 2" Why, yes" said the
clerk, hesitatingly; "but what do you
mean?" "Why, the dern thing won't
go off in fellow, will it ?"
AN angry Western editor wrote to a
poetical correspondent the other day
"If you don't stop sending me your
abominable poetry, III print piece of
it some day with your name appended
in full, and send copy to your gal ~
The poetry from that fountain was
quickly dried up.
@. AM lover rejected. Pray, what
shall do? Shall "shuffle this NOR
tai COIL" like some lowers true?
A. Oh, no; for such actions make
waste of good blood. Just keep up
your courage-your chance is still good.
Remuster your forces, your colors un-
fur, and go forth to the conquest of
some other girl
THERE is a story of an English tourist
who entered restaurant, and by few
scraps of French was able to order
dinner. He wished some mushroom
very delicious and larg". Not knowing
the name, he demanded sheet of paper
and pencil and sketched one. The
waiter understood him in a second, dis
appeared for ten minutes, and returned
with-a splendid-umbrellal
ROGERS, the poet, related the following
story My old friend Maltby, the brother
of the Bishop, was very absent-minded
man. One day at Paris, at the Louvre,
we were looking at the pictures, when a
lady entered who spoke to me, and
kept me for some minutes in converse
ton. On rejoining Maltby said !:
"That was Mrs. -. We had not met
for so long she had almost forgotten me,
and asked me if my name was not
Rogers"
Maltby, still looking at the pictures,
said "And was it?"
"WHAT's the matter, Uncle Jerry?"
said Mr.. -, as old jeremiah R. was
passing by, growing most furiously.
"Matter ~ said the old man, stop
ping short; "why, here I've been lug
ging water all the morning for DIR. C.'s
wife to wash with, and what dye spose
/ got for it ?''
"Why, l suppose about ten cents"
answered Mr.. -.
"Ten cents She told me the Doc
tor would pull tooth for me some
time"
Two YOUNG gentlemen, the one named
Woodcock, and the other Fuller, walked
together, and happening to see an owl,
the latter said "That bird is very much
like a Woodcock." "You are quite
wrong" said the first, "for it's Fuller
in the head, Fuller in the eyes, and
Fuller all over ~ ,...........
Which reminds us of an incident of
our childhood Two fat old ministers of
the Kirk of Scotland, named respect
lively Waddell and Drip, were caught in
a shower after a service at which both
had ofticiated. Brother Waddell, feel
ing rather facetious, looked out on the
watery aspect and remarked dryly to
his reverend associate, cts beginning
to drip .
"Oh, no matter" rejoined his friend
coolly, "We'll just soaddJe through it,"