The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1871-06-30

speak frankly, but less phloS0pnlcally. Tle
whole import and scope Of his speech would
costs" But how handsomely he would treat
the theme-he, the inimitable master in the
art of light and brilliant humor, light and
brilliant in comparison with the heaViness OF
the question which he Is discussing. When
not In real earnest 1t is well enough to De
witty; but when important interests are in
question, and the high lord is ready to throw
Them overheard when colonies are to be
given up and colonlsts sallenated-then 1t is the
most Irresistible. but the most refined comedy.
Nothing could be more graceful than bis
serenity when his role is to joke away the
honor and independence of his country, and
nothing could give better idea of the cynical
Indifference of which the satiated epicurlsm Of
patriclan or imperial Rome was accused. So
agreeably would he laugh and joke. 30 charm
ingly merry make himself over patriotism, no.
bil1ty national honor and historical traditions
In such a captivating, courtly tone would ne
do 1t, that half of the peers would forget that
tion OF his county, and the other half would
60 out to get tsoir. suppers. The cultivated
and thinking people, who see themselves foat,
ing away through the ignorant, careless ana
rough masses which swarm in The filthy holes
of our cities and threaten to destroy our ciyil1-
zation, would secure more powerful AID. Inc
fear Of civil war worse than the Frencn, OF
an invasion worse than that Of the Huns,
would lure them under the protection OF q ru.
ler who would not recoil before violence, and
was resolved that anarchy should not prosper
Finally, an agreement would be reached. "The
crown of William the Conqueror and william
of Orange would be rendered to your Majesty,
and your Majesty would, we hope, condescend
to accept 1t, after you had first obtaiued the
abolition of certain formulas which block the
nations way like q blind alley, and had agreed
upon handsome pension ior Queen Victoria.
This excellent lady, who had always more to
do with sympathy than with the State, would
willingly purchase the peace OF her people
through the surrender OF her power. The
Prince of Wales would be compensated for his
present condition and future prospects by
yearly salary and an editorial eulogy In the
Times. From this glorious day there would,
hope, dawn q new era OF pure happiness
and truer selt-respect for the British portion
of the German Empire. With sound inssruc.
tien of the young; with q regular.levied and
well.disclplined army, and with the raoole
great part in the work OF modern civilization.
One important point I had forgotten-the
landing OF great army on the coast OF Eng
land. 1t needs not the hypothesis Of the clev-
er author of 1.-THE Battle of Dorklng," nor his
torpedoes, to render the English feet harm
less. Auddces fortuna juuati and happiness
would not stay by you any more than the un-
trustworthy goddess, were you to cherish
the faults, the incapaclty, the want Of unity of
your Majesty's enemies. OF this you may be
sure: the English fleet would remain at the
wrong points and sail In the wrong direction.
The iron.clads would be top-heavy and sink In
the channel, or draw too much water and run
aground, or run. down their own gunboats.
The commanding admiral would leave the
commands of the naval minister unheeded,
and the naval minister would mislead the
commander Of the land army. In q word, there
would exist such chaos of misleading, mis-
understanding, mismanagement and dlscord
that your Majestys army could safely land,
and once landed, continue Its und disturbed and
bloodess march to Westminster Palace.
Your Majesty's, &C.,
JOHN MICHEL TRUTz-BAUMwoLL.