Smyrna times., 1871-03-01
MiSceI/UH 10 e as.
A Comedy of Blunders.
A HAPPY EXCHANGE OF BRIDES AND No
ROBBERY.


The first time found out was in love with
my cousin Edie was the morning fixed for my
wedding with another young lady. The discov-
cry come rather awkwardly for there was my
bride, Miss Euphemia Garlick, getting ready
for the ceremony; and there, at her fathers
house, was the wedding breakfast all prepared.
The discovery happened in this wise. | had
been very nervous over the operation of dress
ing. In the first place, had never been mar
ricd before; secondly, | did not profoundly care
tor my bride. She was my senior by some sew
en- years, and tall and bony for her age. She
could not be described as youthful, or as grace
full, or as spOrtlve. There was little Of the
lamb nature about her,-except her asSociaton
with the Mint. For Miss Euphemia was rich
and was poor and overwhelmed with debts :;
wherefore | had pressed my suit with the heir
ess and found both herself and her father, an
infatuated old noodle, with an amateur taste
for chemistry, propitiated by the sacrifice.
On the morning Of my wedding had out of
sheer nervousness, rumped most Of my clea n
shirts and ruiped most of my clean collars, in
agitated attempts to dress myself As crown
ing piece Of ill-luck, l burst the neck button
hole of my last shirt. There was no time to
send out for a new one the marriage hour was
close at hand. | bethOught myself of cousin
Edie; then arraying herself in the hOuse-cOus-
| regarded as gentle sister. Ede would of
course repair the slit button hole. Accordingly
! Ede came with wOrk-bOx and needle and
thread; | knelt before her as she sat and
| Ede fingers were busy about my throat anC
| a curious speculative discovery came upon mt
that Edie was young and pretty, and plump
and gentle, in all respects dissimlar to Mis-
Euphemia Garlck.
Have you ever done this sort of thing be
fore2''
Edie confessed shG had-for her father.
began to put silly questions to E1ie-abou
lovers and so forth. | was privileged to do 50
as cousin. She answered me lovingly, bu
repudiated the soft charges. Then venture
to kiss Ede-alsO as a cousin. And then, a
Edie ran out Of the room to get pair of scis
sors, began to think that she was really yer
plump, and had velvety skin, and was a
guileless in the world IS ways as a chubby cher
ub by Rubens.
In this mood lighted on the work box sh
had left, and begun to turn over it's contents
White bits of cotton, spotless as Edie consc
ence! Black bits OF cotton, sOmbre as my fl
ture Thimble, hollow and empty as nv bea
when overlooked Edie as a possible wife
But then Edie was as poor as myself, where's
y Miss Garlick Halo what was this?
q / came upon letter in that work box
an open letter, commencing, "Star of n
hopeless destinyl'' A letter in mans ham
. writing, and full of bad spelling And b
v shameless document went on to speak of Low
passages IN the past, of designations under Il
conscious stars" as the writer phrased it;
!. kisses given and exchanged. This innocen
J seeming cousin Of mine was not so guileless
\ she appeared She had been guilty of phila
~ dering, and that with fellow-as l saw
e. the signature-known to my brides famil
" For this Augustus Maunders, whose writing
d was, know as incoming BOBBY in the arm
IS "a romantic milk-sop with colorless hair,
intimate with the Garlicks as even to be inv
oI ed to the wedding. FL.
was horribly indignant at Edies duplici
and at her choosing such lover for her cla
destine firtations. When she canae back wi
Z the scissors taxed her roundly with her fau
and showed her the letter. She started, a
seemed inclined to deny the charge, but ul
mately took refuge in silence. set off
church in very bad humor, convinced tha
VI had very perilous interest in 1sdie, and
solved to accommodate my conscience by t.
il ing it out of Mr.. Maunders, even if, by fore
=, him to declare his intentions, preeipita
= his marriage with my pretty cousin.
. The party had not arrived at the church,