Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-05-25

From RowelI's Reporter.

curissities Of AAseFtiains.
From Rowell's Reporter.
The Column of WANTS" or "Want-
ed," has doubtless caused more fun for
the curious than any other department
of newspaper. Its daily changes
alone make it fruitful field for errors
on the part of the compositor, while
the public is not behindhand, either
in bad chirOgraphy or worse grammar,
in bringing out the absurd results.
This woman's inducements are liber-
al enough:
"Partial board for single gentleman
house kept by widow and her daugh-
ter; 6asses and cars convenient"
II will pay the highest wages toa
number OF eady journeyman tailors."
The following comes from Chey-
enne professor:
81 vii Civ lessons in poitry and ele-
cuseen on the gittar."
The builder who answer this adver-
tisement will have difficult task:
"Wanted.-To Builders. Gentlmenat
% Clark street wants to build horse.
This season; half cost"
This man is not very particular as to
the cleanliness Off animals:
"Wanted-For short time, buggy
horse, for his keeping"
But what do you think of an editor
who publishes this?
"WANTED.-Nom more 'purps' of Ell
ther sex in payment for subscription to
this paper"
! Here is another editor who wanted
dogs and had enough of that. His pa
per was not published for six days, and
the Government tax at 81 per head
amounted to eight thousand dollars.
He advertised: -s'r.
81 will take good dog in payment
for one years subscription.
/ The next day 43 dogs We're sent to the
Office. The day after, when the news
had spread into the country, five hum
tdred farmers sent two dogs apiece by
jexpress, with eight baskets full of pups
all marked c. o. ID. The offer found
its way into Deighboring States, and be-
fore the end of the week there were
eight thousand dogs, tied with ropes
in his front and back yards.
Auctioneers should know something;
but what do you think of this one?
"For sale-a large quantity of oil
paintings by some of the ancient mas
, tiers of the day." se.r.-
This one speaks for itself: ...-.-
"TwO sisters want washing"
r We fear that millions of brothers are
in the same predicament.
Here is sensible creature:
A lady advertises herself in a morn
| irc oc foonhnr for kgnnv-nnc al
newly acquired wealth and deficient
+ education"
But what does this chap mean;
"The other day a tobacconist at Cleve
land hung in front of his shop the fol
, lowing notice written on board;
! 'Wanted-a girl to strip"
! 1t is some satisfaction to know that
"a special meeting of the wOmen'i
q rights society was Immediately called
to investigate the case"
= Here is a man who wants a house
keeper. One cannot help wondering
y whether he intends to marry her if she
suits: II
, keeper who can get breakfast withOu
I letting the fire 60 out during the opera
, ton. Address box 568. n. B.-NO
!, dressmaker need apply"
( Perhaps the dressmaker would &c
! out too.
This person ought to be married be-
, fore expressing such want as the fol
!, lowing: .,......
! NG.-Wanted-one or tive
> small families-Mrs. Hunt, widow"
Only she is a L.undress. -s..-.
What do you think of police report
that would insult brunette?
ga brown lady's skirt was found il
! the street and taken to headquarters y
n One wonders greatly how that skir
1tgot lost. Some romance, perhaps trag
+ fedy, must have been connected witt
, it. I'5'''
Let us descend to men. What dc
you think of this? IHs
''T- M recommends himself
for private slaughtering. Terms mod
: erate.n ts-a rar
j In the light of the following how
would a man like to go South anG
, grow up with the place?
A hotel in Southern town advertiS
r es: =
! "Ally Gator supe for breakfast dine
: &super."
Here is man whom we do not hesi
q tate to call the most unprincipled advel
tiser who ever lived. The brass o
some chaps is grim and peculiar, if mo-
q gloomy:
!. "a Chicago hair restorer agent went
: out into the suburbs, stuck his pOster
i all over church pulpit, and then ask
q ed the minister to call attention t.
q Them"
y This chapter is getting long and you
o contributor is going to cut it short witt
, one or two cheerful obituaries, so as Il
& leave good impression on the mind o
the reader: -re -i %
O. "Notice-The fune al of John Sim
mons will be indefinitely postponed
! the corpce having recovered" .-..