davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
That Baby Again.

No matter what line you travel, be it the Western Pacific, the California or the river steamer, the public baby is always on board. It can travel on three lines at once. Change your car to rid yourself of the P. B., and you may find its duplicate in the next. Release your self at your journeys end from the intiic- ton get room at the hotel the public at night to the theatre, the public baby is in the next seat.
 The mission of the public baby on coming into the world is to growl The parents of the public baby deem all this bowling a concord of harmonious sound. They would not have single note wasted. This is why they manage that it shall always go off in public. This is why it is taken to the theatre-to rip and tear into the finest orchestral strains, or insert screech into the eliminating moment of the dying scene.
 The public baby seems to have full head of ugliness on all the time. l ex- amined one the other day while coming up here on the cars. When we started from Oakland Point, felt strange sense of Q missing presence. wondered at the cause. All was soon explained At San Antonio, the public baby came on board. I had forgotten that this little baby never missed trip. nor paid cent. Then I felt at home.
 At first, this public baby cried and howled on general principles It hadn't as yet discovered any special cause of grievance. It cried because it hadn't. It's little hands were sticky with some thing, its little face was sticky it rubbed it's little face with it's sticky hands; the stickiness on it's little face was thus amalgated with the stickiness on it's hands, and vice versa. !a s:a 7. '...., .-.'+..
 Then, when it had prepared this mix ture, it wanted to rub it all over us who sat near by. It clutched at lady's hat or bonnet ribbons (what do you call them now?) on the forward seat it did transfer an irregular spot of molasses- colored brown to the bright blue of the broad silk ribbon the lady turned she looked for the moment as if she might be Mir. Herod's wife or sister the pa rents withdrew their sticky offspring ; the offspring cried because it couldn't have that lady to paw. "" "a
 They gave it colored candy. By this the little < wellspring of pleasure worked itself still more into an uneasy lump of saccharine and mucilaginous nastiness the place where the candy went inside of itsoon filled up; 1t cried because it couldn't hold any more; it wanted to go to its father it went it then cried to go back to it's mother :; it went it then howled to go back to its father. He went into the smoking car. That mother held the public baby high up it cried. She held it topside down then it did cry trife less !; the rush of blood had stopped it a little. Unfortun- ately, the mother soon discovered this. The child was saved-saved to howl for years.-Froms he Sam FTaaacisco Reporter
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
: A Chapter on Crabs.

Nature seems to have taken into con- sideration their warlike disposition, for she has certainly endowed them with the power of renewing their arms and legs. It is also asserted that they are almost, if not quite, insensible to pain, for celebrated naturalist states that he once saw crab eating another which 1t had just killed, while 8 larger one was picking off and eating bits of hiS body.
 Thus crab number three was eating crab number two, who went on feeding as if he did not mind his big brother treating him as he had crab number one. There is another fact equally remarkable, and that is, that some crabs-the spider, for instaDce-throw away their limbs with apparently as much ease as an old soldier could his wooden leg. When pursued they are probably aware that their enemy wants something to eat, and therefore fling him a leg to appease his appetite and to save the loss of more. once had spider crab sent to me, and I was very much vexed to find that he had lost leg, and blamed the person who had put him into g basket, for having, as l thought, done. it carelessly., I put him by himself in glass ot fresh seawater, and next morning, on looking at him. you may guess my surprise at finding that he had but one leg left to his body, the others being strewed about the bot tom of the glass. I presume that he felt SO annoyed at being captured and imprisoned that he threw away his legs in fit of despair, or perhaps it was an act of spite against me for being the cause of his capture. At all events, he paid the just penalty of his folly, for after trying to hobble about on one leg for day or two he died. Before we return, must tell you that the shell of the crab does not grow much larger, although his body increases in size, When he begins to find his jacket too tight to be comfortable, he has a natural desire to take it off This is not an easy task to perform because he has so many claws and legs, the covering of which is so attached to the jacket. He therefore crawls beneath heavy stone, which holds his shell tight, and then wriggles himself out of his shell clothing. As soon as he has undressed himself he becomes much bigger than he was before, and could not possibly re-enter his shell. His body is then as soft as your hand ; and, therefore, well knowing that if he met any hard-coated crab, he would cer- tainly be killed and eaten, he hides him. self until his skin hardens and forms a new suit of armor to protect him from his foes.--Ldule F0lks.7 a994
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

obstinately disbelieving the clock-for no better reason than that the clock was the witness which asserted the pris oner's guilt
 He had worried everybody with incessant inquiries he had discovered the absence of the house maid after the trial had begun |; and he had started off to interrogate the girl, knowing nothing and suspecting noth- ing g-simply determined to persist in the one everlasting question with which he persecuted every body: "The clock is going to hang my brother; can you tell me any thing about tue clock ?" .,. .t...
 q. Four months later the mystery of the crime was cleared up. One of the disrep- utablc companions of the murdered man confessed on his death-bed that be had done the deed. There was nothing interesting or remarkable in the circumstances. Chance, which had put innocence in peril, had offered impunity to guilt. An infa- nous woman, a jealous quarrel, and an ab- sence at the moment of witnesses on the spot-thcse were really the commonplace materials which had composed the tragedy of Pardon's Piece. .:rr 55
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

DECIDED The Paris GauloiS gives, in @ paragraph signed "Un Domino" the following anecdote about Sir Walter Scott: "When the celebrated romancer had finished Quentin Durward, he offered the youngest of his daughters, on whom he had not yet settled dowry, GA, GOO or his last novel. Miss Scott re- piled, blushing, that before taking Q resolution on the subject, she wished to read the manuscript. Hardly had she received it before she ran to her fathers bookseller, who immediately gave 94,S0O for the novel. The young lady returned to the house enchanted, and said to her father, blushing, that she preferred the novel to GA, coo, and the poor man, ere dulous as poets and fathers are, wept with emotion in the arms of his daughter, who blushed anew"
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

A VALUABLE HORSE The Pottsiown. (Pa) Ledger gives an account of mare which is employed at the iron works at that place. Her business is to haul carts loaded with iron. Part of the day she is required to draw cart from the furnace to the pudding mill, and the rest of the time to the plate mill, which lies in another direction. The distance to each place is over twohundred! yards. The mare has been engaged in this busi- ness for over three years, and after only few trips has made her rounds without n driver. One route leads over rail- way track, and such is the sagacity of the animal that if she sees TO ttain ap- proaching at some distance she. hurriesz over the track, but if it is near at hand i she stops for the train, to go past. As the wages paid to drivers in this estab- ishment are $41 per month it will be seen that this mare has saved rpresent employer $1,60o by going without a. driver.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

GRADES. Railroad engineers will be interested in knowing that recent re- ports from Switzerland seem to indicate that such steep grades as that of the Mount Rigi Railroad, even with the ex- ercise of the greatest precautions, are not entirely safe. An ascending pas senger train on this well-known road was recently stopped by the inability of the locomotive to carry it any further.
 All the brakes were applied as tight as possible, but absolutely without effect i; the train began to slip down gradually and was soon beyond the control of the engineer and brakeslnen, when the timely arrival of another train with fresh en- zine fortunately averted a shocking ac- cident. The slipping train had acquired but little velocity, otherwise it would have been impossible to hold it, even by means of the other locomotive.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
( i%s-. -,.. ak llE.t COLOR BLINDNESS. - MT. Monck, o

' oR-BL1NDNEss. T MT. Monck,: of Trinity College, Dublin, propounds Q novel and interesting theory of color. blindness. The ordinary explanation is that the eye is not sensitive to certain colors, to which it is objected that a color-blind person sees the whole spec trum, and that were this explanation true there should not be complimentary colors-red and green for example. MT. Monck bases his theory on the pheno- mena of accidental colors. Thus, if the eye be very sensitive to the excitation of the complimentary tint, then this latter, appearing with vividness while the eye gazes upon the original color, is so com bined with it as to give rise to the grey ish tint with which color blind persons so often confound colors. ,iThe brighter the light the more quickly and vididly would the accidental color be produced. Another argument is, that color-blind persons rarely see accidental .colors. According to this theory, then, the color blind eye is one in which the compli- mentary color is seen very rapidly and very wildly while looking at the primary color
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
POOLED HM-Recentlv two persons

FOOLED Recently, two persons travelling on the road to Gotham in @ light wagon, were smoking cigars, from the fire of which some straw at the bot tom ignited. The flames soon drove them from their seats, and while busy extin- guishing the fire countryman who had been for some time following them on horseback, alighted to assist them
 1T have been watching the smoke for some time" said he. -. .-.e, s-r -o
 "Why, then, did you not give us notice p asked the travellers.
 "Well," responded the rustic, " there are so many new fangled notions nova days, I thought you were. going by steam"
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

BEWARE. An English medical journal publishes warning against the wearing of green kid gloves. It has been ob- served in several cases that the hands of those wearing gloves of this color soon become covered with an eruption which physicians find hard to cure, as the poison seems to enter the system. Upon analysis, it has been found that the green used for dyeing the kid contains arsenic. Though not all the green kid gloves in the market are so dyed, it is nevertheless safer to wear others of less bright and less dangerous color.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

SwINDLED.-I is not strange that for eign travellers who land in New York complain of the miserable hack system of American cities. A California United States Senator arrived at hotel in New York. In the evening he concluded to go and see Forrest as "Coriolanus. In front of the hotel he found hackman, and told him to drive him to Niblo's Garden. Said hackman drove him round nineteen blocks and landed him safely at the theatre, waited until the theatre was out, and drove around seventeen blocks back to the hotel. His fare was fifteen dollars. It was not until the next day. that the successful politician ascer- tained that both the hotel and theatre were under the same roof, and that the entrance to each were less than twenty feet apart
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

MAPS. During the operations of the Versailles army around insurgent Paris, the only map in possession of the off, cers, q will not say of Marshal Mac Mahon, but very probably he was no exception, for the engineer, corps were not) was thirteen cent map of Paris, as inaccurate as could be. Yet first class map of Paris was to be had for $2 and at few hours notice. The lessons taught during the ,Franco-German war of 1870-71 are too hard for Frenchmen to learn
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

VERY SAD. The first wife of the Lou isville millionaire who caused something of futter some time ago by inducing the Kentucky Legislature, as is alleged, to pass bill making it lawful for man having an insane wife to marry again, is still an inmate of a private asylum near Boston, without the least hope of re- covery. She has been there for nearly twenty years, and first revealed her mad ness in Louisville by throwing her four children one night, from the attic win dow of her residence into the yard be- low. Two of the little creatures were killed. The others were almost miracu- lously saved from destruction, though they suffered for years from the severe injuries they received. The unfortunate lady was passionately fond of her chil- dren, and the death of the eldest de- ranged her naturally fine mind by caus- ing a religious monomania, accompanied by the morbid phantasy that God wanted her offspring, and that she was sending them to Him by destroying their lives.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
The Suicidal Mania.

It is said that an ancient law -giver once put stop to a suicidal mania among the young women of his country by ordering the bodies of all who took their own lives to be exposed naked to the public view. The dread of that which was to come after death, the ignominy of exposure and the insults of the rabble, was relled upon to stay the fatal hand, and is recorded to have justified the faith reposed in it. To mark its apprehension of suicides, the Athenian law cut off the hand which dealt the blow and for centuries the old common law of England ordained the burial of the self murderer in the high way with stake through the body. As public opinion would not tolerate any of these usages now, unless, perhaps, the exposure, half-naked, at the Morgue of the men and women who drown them selves be an exception and these usages are pretty much all that mankind has devised to deter from suicide, it becomes a question whether some ignominous punishment might not be awarded such wretches as are arrested in the act of suicide before their purpose can be crrried into execution. In England, if such person is found under the influence of liquor, he is put away in jail for month or so to get sober if lunatic, he is sent to the asylum and in case he is sober and we'll to dc, a heavy fine is added to the imprisonment. It would be we'll if this were the course of law in the United States. Every now and then we read of some would-be suicide pulled out of the water, or cut down from @ tree limb or rafter, or otherwise prevented from self-murder, and yet no pain or penalty is inflicted. But a few days since q man was soverpowered by the police just as he was about to blow his brains out, and that was the end of it, instead of some ignominious punishment having been awarded.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

Nor So FUNNY.-The other day one J. w., Ashburn called at telegraph of flee in Portland, Me-, and sent an inno- cent dispatch of inquiry about his wife to Halifax. An hour later the worthy Collector of the Port was astounded at the receipt of @ telegram from Halifax which read "To I. Washburn, Port land: Your wife. sailed for Liverpool yesterday with young man .,
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
With n Wedding Present.

Sweetest maid in all the earth, Though my love bo httle worth, Yet 1 cast it at thy feet t To be spurned by thee is sweet. Heed it not, nor stoop to take ..,. What I lavish for thy sake:
 Scarcely cast on it thine eye: Go thy way, and let It lie. ..-J Oh, that in a living line .......... Were ten thousand loves like mino Prostrate laid, that on them all Thine unheeding foot might fall 1 Go thy way, most sweet, most fairi Tread us down, and do not spare Trample on our heads, for we .,.. Only live to honor thoe
 All along the love-paved road, Lady, pass to thine abode. .,l, . Queen of loves, ascend thy throne, Where thou wilt not sit alone.
 Sweetest maid in all the earth, Is my love too little worth
 Even to be trampled on
 As thou passest to thy.thronep ~.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

CUR1oUs.-It is certainly curious chemical fact that the substance required to form common table salt are both of them poisonous-chlorine and sodium. No one can use either of these articles separately with safety, and yet combine them, and they form substance neces- sary to health, and one found upon every table.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22


 LOST HIS TEMPER.-A warning to those given to losing their temper oc- cured at correctional tribunal at Tou- louse, France. A man was accused of theft, but as the evidence was insufficient, the court was about to acquit him, when he, doubtless supposing that he was go- ing to receive sentence of condemna- tion, became most violent, and burst out with volley of threats and insults against the judges, so that he was obliged to he handcuffed. The prisoner, who is possessed of extraordinary strength, broke the chain with Q vigor- ous effort and redoubled his abuse, and a number of gendarmes had great diff culty in overpowering him. At the de- mand of the public prosecutor, the tri- ,bunal condemned the accused to one years imprisonment for menaces against the bench. ..-s ..- E :"
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22

Frogs steal honey from the bee hives in Jamaica, West Indies.
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
Gonaeetitat Stestern Ae.rs ' Advertising Rates :I
la sq IS 50I s7sF 0u I 35 2s00 5a 50l 0o l |" .. l ooI 1 25 l 50 l 75 9 75 3 7s 6 5ol0 % 2 e" } 0Ol ? sol 8 00 8 sol 6 bOt . OOi2 O0l20 % 3 |" 8 00t 8 75t 4 sol 5 25 00lO OO ! 0Ol3O %
 Lcol 00I 6 O0I C OOl 0Ol0 00l2 OO Is OOIsb % h .. 00I1l 00Il3 00l15 0OlS 0O 22 00 5 OOI6O OO
Special Notices, 50 per cent. in advance of tho

Special Notices, 50 per cent. in advance of tho above rates. .t. .4,y,..,.. ..'.,..'t....
 One inch space constitutes . square. ... Cards in Business Directory, occupying. five lines or less, $500 per year; over tivo lines, $l .00 per line.
 Regular advertisers to pay quarterly. Tran sient advertisements must be paid for in ad- vance.
 Notices of Marriages and Deaths freo of charge. All additions to ordinary announce mcnts 10 cents DOT line. '2""". IA N'1'
Connecticut western news., 1871-09-22
Why Flirts Don't Marry.

It is remarkable, but nevertheless true that, as rule, firts, both male and female, do not marry quickly. The chances are that girl who becomes engaged at IS, and goes on becoming engaged and dlsengaged, as it is the custom for firts to do, ultimately settles down into a confirmed old maid, too. If she does wed, as general rule, she developes into the most virulent wasp, makes her husband miserable, and brings up her children badly. '.s7
 It is not very difficult to find reasons why hirts do not marry. Sensible men admire in a woman something besides pretty face and engaging manners They love intellect, common sense and heart, quail which the firt does not possess. The true woman allows her affections full play, and is not ashamed of them. She will not lead Q man to believe she cares for. him when she does no such thing she will not firt with him just for the sake of flirting.
 She has truer conception of what is right, and possesses a good deal more common sense. She has derived her education from something else than three volume novels and the society Of empty-pated fops. She can be thor nugh1y merry but she knows how to be merry without being idlotic. She may attract less attention in drawing room than the flirt does, because she is less noisy and obtrusive but, for all that, she will get married sooner, and make her husband a better and artruer wife ...l v,....
 A true woman does not care for the spooney young man. She dislikes his foppishness, the yapid compliments he pays her, and his etfeminacy. He quick ly finds this out, and leaves her in peace Thus, if he ultimately gets married, it is to firt, and the happy pair'' lead the jolliest cat and dog life imaginable.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1871-1872, 1871-11-29
Ladies, take Particular Kotics.
The Real Velpau Female Pills,
WARRANTED EkkNCH
WARRANTED FAkNCH.

These Pills, so celebrated many years arm in
Paris, for the -elief Of fem ale Irregularities ana
afterwards for their criminal cm . 10y ment in m,
practice OF abortion, are now offered for sale 70,
che frs. time in America They have been Kent
in comparative obscnrity from the fact that the
origin stor, DR.. Velpau, Is g ph stefan in Paris
Of great wealth ,and has strct
ciples, and has withheld them from general use
lest they should be employed for unla wful par.
poses
In Overcoming Female Distractions, Falling
Of the Womb, hites, Green Sickness, suppress
sion, Retention, or Immoderate Flow Of the
MONTHLY Discharges, Nervous and Spinal Affsc
tions, Pains in the Back and Limbs, Fatigue Gu
slight exertion PalpitatioD of the Heart, Hys-
teries &C., and will effect cure when all other
means have failed and, although powerful
remedy, d. not cCu tain oalomel, entim ny, or
anything hurtful to the constitution
To married ladies and young girls who have
never been regulated, they are peculiarly suited
They will. In a short time, bring on the mon thly
period with regularity.
CAUTION Married Ladies should never AXE
them when there is any reason to believe them
selves pregnant, for they will be sure to producs
miscarrisge.
la lies can procure box sealed from tee eyes
ofthe curioss, by enclosing one dollar, aud si n
postage stamps to M W. MACoMBER, General
A 'ent for United States and Csnadas, at ALBANY
w. T., or Of any authorised Agent uy24dvly
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1871-1872, 1871-11-29
|1IlaSISiaIlaIM
For the Removal of cbktructions
and the Insurance of Regu-
iarity in the Recurrence
of E%onthly Periods.

These Pills are an unfaiiing Female Regulator,
intended for special cases; those obstinate ones
tohere mildcr and cheaper medicines fail.
they are eomposed ef the most active and
powerful prin ciples OF plants. roots and berries,
80 b ghly sEtrated that each pill contains
more medicinal strength than whole box OF
bottle of ord mary Medicine in the market. Al
though poce.jal, get so mild and pleasant in then
opsrahoa, that the most feeble take them rid
perfect safety.
&ss-They may be safely used st say age, anC
at any period, EXCEPT DURING raE FIRST THREI
MONTHS, during which the unfsiIing nature o
their effects uld infallibly PREVENT ancy
~ All lie tiers seet ing information or sdvic
will be promptly freely aa d discreetly answered
vs. Each box contains 100 pills. and wrap
ped in whit paper printed in ieep red lstters
~ith fall and explicit directions enclosed.
"a sent by mail, free of postage, en- veceip
of price, s., per box.