Semi-weekly Louisianian. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1871-1872, 1871-06-22
.FLN.ANl FANCY.

a book placed into his hand for the
purpose of examining o class. The
word inheritance" occurring in the
verse, the querist Intercepted one
of the youngsters as follows:
What is an inheritance ?" i
"Patrimony.
rWhat is patrimonys"
Something left by q father"
"What would you call it ifleft by
a mother?" z'l LsH -f5 ses T
"Matrimony."
"A little boy who went to church
was cautioned to remember the
text, which was: "Why stand ye
all the day idle? Go into the vine
yard, and work, and whatsoever is
right I will pay thee" Johnny
came home and. was asked tore
peat the text. He thought over it
while, and then cried out; "What
dye stand round here doing muffin
for; go into my barnyard and work,
I'll make it all right with you.
While trudging along one day,
all alone, a rebel soldier met a
preacher; and at, once recognized
him as such, but affected ignorance
oft. Preacher. ''What command
do you belong to ?" Soldier. -
belong to the 4th Texas Regiment,
Van Dorn's army. What army do
you belong tor" Preacher livery
solemnly).-'1 belong to the army
of the Lord ?" Soldier.-'My
friend, you've got a very long way
from headquarters"
"Now, my boy" said the commit
tee-man, IF l had a mince-pie, and
should give two-twelfths oft to John
two-twelfths to Isaac, two-twelfths
to Harry, and should take half Of
the pie myself. what would there be
left? Speak up loud, so that all
can hear" .'The plate! shouted
the boy.
Machinery has reached a great
state of perfection. We saw some
burnt peas put into the hopper Of
a coffee-mill the other. day, and in
less than two minutes it was occu-
plying aplace in grocery, labelled
odd Government Java.
A clergyman who was preaching
on temperance, astonished his aud
fence by declaring, "a young mar
in!my neighboring diedvery sudden'
ly last Sunday, whleI was preaching
the gospel in q beastly state Of in
toxication."
Il don't like modern bellies, ma
because they're SO much like bur
glars" "Why, my son, what d.
you mean? How are modern belle
like burglars ?" Because, you Sc
, ma, they destroy the finest lock
with powder"
1--WE have the tallest man in tn
world in our State" said an Ala
bamian to q Frenchman. "Hov
tall is he ?" asked the eau. "Sey
enteen feet" Seventeen feet Ia
is very tail, but your story is YER
!. much taller"
:, A South-shore Long Islander o.
his first visit to the city with hi
! sweetheart, seeing the lunches {
!, bananas in Fulton market, exclaim
q ed, "I'll be moved, Saphrony,
: them ant the biggest beans I eve
d seed! "'
: ~
A young lady in North Carolin
requested to be released from he
marriage engagement on the groun
that when she contracted it she be
a lieved her lover to be "a duck" br
s has since found him to be
Il goose. T gaa 1893.
- '. How pleasant is a lovely thing
= little out Of season., rosebud
= pintea, for instance, or q kiss
V church when the deacons eyes al
" closed in prayer! Stolen appl,
. don't begin with it.
;. A Western editor, who tried
!, work in his garden for his healt
! found that o cast-iron back with
hinge in it, would be preferable, 4,
of gardeners, to the spinal column no
D. in use. ~ eau
4 Faf
l. Jake Blifkins says. my wife