The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1871-04-13

had Just checked bis last item in the list
"A Mr. and Mrs. Bedbng-when the
cringing figure of quAdruped came
sneaking down the gang plank with his
tail between his legs. "Drat it if there
amt
THAT YALLER DOG
says Noah, aiming q vicious kick with
his brogan at the brute But with fa-
cility born of long and bitter experience,
the brute lodged the projectile, and ejac-
ulating Xxi (which is Syriac for "de-
clined with thanks" or "not for joe
he disappeared, while Noah who had his
sealegs ON, was unable to recover his
equilibrium, and sat down with empha-
sis on the back ofhishead. t
Neah arose, and in accordance with
the style prevalent among the patriaFchs,
he proceeded TO soothe his affronted dig
nifty by prOnOuncing variegated anGth-
ema upon the yaller dog, which had
Enthusiastically sneaked unobserved on
board in the confusion OF putting to sea,
and
cAPsIZED THE CAPTAIN
at the first port. He cursed that dog in
body, limb, bark, hair, hide, tail and
wag, and all his generations, relations
and kindred by consanguinity or affinity,
and his heirs and assigns. He cursed
him with endless hunger, with perpetual
fear, with perennial laziness, with hope
less mango, with incessant feas, and
with his tail between his legs. He closed
his stock Of maledictions by sparkling
display of protechnics, from the demor-
alizing effects of which the yaller dog has
never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like a
revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't help
being cussed. He don't try to help it.
He follows NOah's programme with
sneaking fidelity. He is
IsHMELITE AMONG DOGS.
He receives the most oppressive courte-
sizes, in the form OF brickbats, boots and
hot water, which make his life an anima-
ted target excursion. He boards around
like a district school teacher, and it is
meal time with him "a hours in the day.
The rest Of the time he hankers after
something to eat. He is too omniverous
for an epicure. Cram him at Delmoni-
cos, and he would hunger for dessert
from an Albany boarding house.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired.
AS q swin cart locomotive, q hunter or
sentinel, he is an ignominious failure.
The dog churn was a strategic attempt
to employ his waste energies, but
HE HADN'T ANY WASTE ENERGIES,
and butter had too much self respect to
come at his persuasion. So the dog
churn was dropped.
No sausage-maker dare foreclose his
lien on the yaller dog, lest his customers,
no longer soothed and sustained by an
trust. transfer their patron
age to some less audacious dealer. The
savages, who admire baked dog, and who
can even attack tripe, and explore the
mysteries Of hash without dismay, ac-
knowledge the yaller dog to betoo much
for their gastric intrepidity.
He always manages to belong to q rag
ged, tobacco-chewing, whisky-drinking
master, whose
BUSINESS is SWAPPING DOGS
and evading the dog tax. The yaller dog
is acquainted with himself, and he en-
joys the intimacy with edifying con-
tempt. He sinks along through life on
a diagonal dog-trot, as if in doubt as to
which end of him is entitled to the prec-
edence. He is always pervaded by o
hang-dog sense of guilt, and when retri-
butiye tin ware is fastened to his tail, he
flies from the wrath to come with hor-
rifed celebrity which ought to be very
suggestive to two-legged sinners OF
similar ordeal in store for them.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak in
italics, he is slouch.