The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1871-08-16

How was onahpuuished? Whaled.
The mai with the "white hat is
still in town.
Call a spade a spade. You may
call Stockings Noes.
Stealing nutmegs is a small crime,
but it might lead to a greater.
The four seasons-mustard, salt,
pepper and vinegar.
A Kentucky rattlesnake took a
drink of alcohol and expired.
Harvesting is over and farmers
feel good.
Colonel Sam. Pike talks of starting
his ffty-third newspaper.
The Mayor of Cincinnati is accused
of pitching quoits on Sunday.
The Ohio river is going into a de-
cline 1t keeps its bed and IS quite
low.
Hickory trees are unusually full of
nuts this year. A sure sign of Dem
ocratic victory.
Good books, good newspapers and
good company, are the siDews OF VIZ
tue
Young folks grow most when in
love. 1t increases their signs won
derfully.
Purp etual motion has at last been
discovered. 1t consists in the wag of
a dogs tail.
The Fremont Messenger ccuse
"Bll Gibson" of making a Democrat
ic speech.
IF a man gels up when day breaks,
can he be said to have the whole day
before him.
Things that will never hurt by fall
ing-prices they fall so slow they
will neve get smashed.
A Georgia editor was bitten twice
by a mocasin snake without bad re-
suits. The snake died.
It's your tall fellows who are luck.
lest in love. The ladies are all in ia
vor of Hy-men.
a violent Caudle lecture in Wis
consin was terminated by the lecturer
dislocating her jaw.
When does rain become too famil-
lar with a lady When it begins to
patter on the back.
A new Union depot is to be built
Mt Columbus soon. 1t can't lie done
too SOON
There is but n good wife il the
world, and every happily welded
man thinks he has her.
An Indiana girl hoped, skipped
and jumped at finding a snake in her
crinoline.
Marriage-An altar on which a man
lays his pocket-book, and a oma her
love. letter.
Thomas Sparrow, of Columbus, a
leading lawyer and a high Mason died
on Tuesday.
If you are afraid you should scream
when your tooth is being pulled, you
should hold your jaw.
Red Cloud, the noblest Indian of
them all, it is said, is preparing to
lead his braves on the war path.
1t is said that the chewing of coarse
ly-eut gentian root after every meal
will cure tie taste for tobacco.
Why is a dentist like a farmer p
Because he pulls out stumps and fills
achers.
A naked man was found dead in a
Missouri field, and the jury said he
t'died from exposure"
One ought 10 have dates at ones
fingers ends, seeing they grow on the
palm.
Two dogs and three men after a
rat. The rat caught one of the dogs
and the balance of the party left.
The champion lounger by the sea
still fingers in sight of the deep heav-
ing pillows. Hi name is Ulysses.
Hon. Geo. II. Pendleton and fam
lily, arrived at New York, on the SEQ
tia, from Europe.
When o man takes more pleasure
In earning money than in spending it
he has taken the first step towards
wealth.
He who brings ridicule to bear
against truth, finds in his hand a blade
without a hilt-more likely to cut him
self than anybody else
The phrase cas- mad as a wet hen"
has received a new dress, and appears
in all the glory of "as irritated as
damp poultry"
Divorces are obtained in Maryland
without publicity. Husbands take
their wives out fishing and tighten the