The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1871-05-06


SIE-There are a few evils =" under the sun, in
Book & of Ecclesiastes-possibly because the manners
and customs of the Honoluluans were not known
or that Honolulu itself was not born or quaked-
and I purpose with your permission to call public at
%tentiOn thereto. In treating the first evil, to make
the matter more interesting, we may, If you please,
call it a Chapter on Royalty.
Imprimis there is u mysterious coin afoat
amongst us, which, like the " White Crane > of the
New Zealanders. is often heard Of but rarely seen,
yclept the rial. The very name of this coin has
caused me more trouble and annoyance than the alb
solute possession of a cart load of them would do. 1t
haunts me in my work by day. and particularly in
my marketings by night. 1t is omnipresent, hic ct
u6igue, in my eatables and drinkables it is repre-
scented in my sugar, coffee, and was even in my hot
cross buns L had for my breakfast ON Good Friday
my butcher, baker, grocer, tobacconist, &C., all talk
rials-I am compelled to smoke it in my pipe, and
were l addict to the equally nasty habit of taking a
quid, l might possibly swallow but could never
digest it any more than L can dispel its powerful in
huence. Upon my first arrival upon your a. Rial-to,'
my most urgent business was the purchase of a stick
of tobacco, and | have become acquainted with the
rial, l3y uame only and it has stuck TO me ever
since-invlsible as it is undivIsable-ever in my ear,
but seldom 1r never in my pocket. My tradesmen
must know my aversion to this piece OF money, for
by some mysterious cause almost everything [ ask
the price of is a rial. If invest in q quart of mo-
lasses, it is a rial, a stick Of tobacco, a rial-'fusion
take it. |, is rial, real, reality. Of course, rs | have
observed, L never have a rial in my possession, have
only seen about two during the last three months
indeed had to ask the offices of a friend to procure
one to gaze upon. However, l soon got rid Of him,
for to the first store l Y went, it went too, and L have
never seen it since, though often heard of it. But to
return to my subject-not having a rial l put down a
quarter, and my grocer, my baker, and my tobacco
mist put down a ten-cent piece. L pick up the coin,
consider, enter into calculations of decimal, in some
way thus-one quarter equals % cents, stick of to-
bacco one rial-can't decimal him-yes, suppose 124
.123-.25 equals .l21, change 10 cents, All how's
this Oh All! L see hum l-spose he'll take it
for a rial-In fix him that way-of course this is
going on in my mind unknown to my grocer, my
baker, and my tobacconist, and generally become so
lost in thought that I doubtless 90 to sleep over nv
calculations but for the enquiry, anything else sir ?
l mutter no no more rails tonight, and pocketing
my coin depart. Upon my next visit to- will not
individualize, lest L should tar one of my tradesmen
more than another, when all are alike deserving
but will say to my grocer, my baker and my tobacco
mist, and making my purchase and being prepared to
hear my friend rial named, | triumphantly produce
the identical dime [ received at his hands on the pre-
yious occasion. But mark the change that comes
over the features OF my grocer, my baker and my to-
bacconist he evidently knows the coin as soon as il
is put down-like the war horse-he smells it from
afar, and he looks at it with the expression of coun-
tenance that instantly reminded me of a London
cabby, who, some ten years ago, drove me from
Temple Bar to my brothers. residence on Charter
House Square, and to whom my brother paid the
regulation fee of Cd. the boundary being only some
20 yards off where he would have been entitled to a
shilling so distressing and painfully respondent and
c~ontemptuous was the expression of poor cabby as he
eyed the coin in his open palm, (poOr fellow, perhaps
1t was his rial) that L begged my brother to give him
another. "Not a bit of it., quoth he 90 they are a
set of rascally, ~swindling Jehus, and | make il q
point to drive as often as ever l can to the very verge
0f their boundaries IN fQka II ont of fhona - n
doners in those days were carrying on a desperate
raid against cabby-driven to it by extortion-
(pardon the digression). Well sir, this little scene of
ten years ago was reproduced upon the occasion in
question by the facial expression of my tradesmen
aforesaid, and though he did not absolutely refuse to
accept the coin, l mentally resolved that 1 would not
again, if could help it, injure his feelings by taking
such an advantage, and L left the store very undecided
in my own mind as to whether l had not been guilty
of a very mean action, or in point of fact of a fraud
or misdemeanor.
L have sir, as fancy dictated put this, my grievance
into tangible form, but will now throw aside illustra-
tive establishment and in sober earnestness ask you
why this alien should be allowed the footing il has
secured amongst us? 1t is no part or parcel of the
recognized currency Of the realm. 1t is Objectionable
in that its exchange value does not work with the
existing coinage current here. 1t is indivisable-it
is a mere unit in its actual metallic presence-it is
mischievous, in that it affords and encourages the
opportunity of the 6 Heather Chinee' and the
Christian HonOlulu-lee doing a little pettifogging
1HI h0Ao ~ NV INV VhAOh uNlO III
unwary alike must fall, and the cents 1 have lost by
the custom now tolerated would cover me up in it.
it is utterly foreign to the system in vogue-it is in
fact sir, to be mild in invective, a delusion and a
snare.
[ speak not for myself alone I have often heard
complaints, and 1 have been told by a gentleman of
authority and a long resident in Honolulu, that he is
under the impression its circulation was officially pro-
hibited a year or two ago. If this is 50, let the law
be put in force and carried out. And call upon
you by the aid of your powerful pen to assist me in
the impeachment of this alien, and to Danish from the
kingdom a useless and Objectionable, though compar-
atively insignificant coin.
OF a variety, the currency here is of a sufficiently
varied character to dispense with the rial. Upon the
changing of a fve-dollar piece / have been in pos
session of a variety of antiquated, misshapen and
abominable pieces of money, many bearing neither
image nor superscription, that were | in reach of a
certain old country squire at home, very shortsighted
and very ignorant-but who rode a hobby to death in
the collection of old and foreign coins, and upon
whom as a boy Ito my shame be it r~ecorded) L
palmed of by the aid of a school-fellow, a piece of
old copper plate upon which by dint of soap and
aquafortis sundry devices were engraved. and for
which the old gent. rather suspiciously gave as half
a crown-not a bad idea of raising the wind TO cover
school fees and prices for scholastic delinquencies-
were l, l say, within reach Of him, my fye-dollar
change would be a fortune to me Of 50 varied and
antique a character as it was.
There are yet other evils under the sun that l
should like to touch upon, but l am even now in
danger of being put eE curi0 by you in consequence
of the prolonged dissertation, and in mercy to your
readers, my grocer, baker, butcher, and others
aforesaid, | forbear for the present, and subscribe
myself, sir, with much respect, your most obedient
S servant, Res PUBLIcA.
Civil