Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1871-07-25

tanned our small store of crockery, followed by
a crash, which showed that a great portion of
our cups and plates had been flung to the floor
Springing up to discover the author of this at
tack upon China, | found large snake 10
somewhat unpleasant Fix" He had crawled
upon the shelf, attracted by number of eggs
which were scattered about. One of these he
had swallowed, and in order to get at the next
he had put his head and portion of his body
through the handle of jug which happened
to stand between the coveted delicacies. The
handle was just open enough to let his body,
in the natural state, slip clevery through, but
not sufficient to let it pass when pufed out by
the egg. In this position he had swallowed
the second egg. His snakeship thus found
himself unable to advance or retreat and in
houndering about to escape from this novel
stock, had caused the accident which aroused
u.s. of course proceeded at once to execute
summary justice upon the interloper, but the
eggs he had swallowed were dead loss.
MORE SCARED THAN HURT. During the re-
cent alarm excited by the prevalence of fever.
good many persons adopted all sorts of pre-
ventives. Any suggestion which tended to
accomplish this purpose was seized with avid
ity sand applied without scruple A young
man was of this number. His insane dread of
the disease amounted to a monomania Every
conceivable nostrum was taken, and every DOS
sible liquor imbibed as observation-disclosures
ade brandy, wine, citrate of magnesia, mineral
water, buchu, cathartic pills, and iron lozenges
were taken successfully the same day, and in
turn were rejected for newer and more efficient
remedies. Towards night he began to feel bad
His stomach was in evident disorder and rack
ing pains prevailed in the region of the head
and back. Satisfied that Yellow Jack was Law
ing siege to him In earnest, he sent for nhv
stefan and begged of him piteously to save his
life
The doctor examined him carefully.
"You haven't got yellow fever" he said.
but you have eaten something that has disa-
greed with you. | shall have to give Won an
emetic" The prescription was forthwith an.
piled, and the result awaited with impatience.
Suddenly the odor of brandy filed the room.
why you We been drunk" said the doctor
"Wait, DOCTOR wait, gasped the patient in
his paroxysm.
Then came lemonade
"Why its punch you We been drinking
wait, doctor, wait. :"
And then mingled with these compounds
came the smell of buchu, the sckening eff1uvia
OF nltre, tempered and subdued with port
wine. f''
why, man, what is this2" cried the as
tonlshed man of science
alt, doctor, We haven't got to the bottom
yee' ana then out came dark LIQUID, which
tne patent In his distress denominated mo
lasse 81, and water" Then came gin, whisky
and MADEIRA to Be succeeded in their turn By
congress oatgr water Vlohy' and Kissengen. The
b bU TOR was 10 Despair which augmented
Doctor, have l got the fever ?''s N'''"'
"Got the deuce No. Yellow favor H., |
era, or smallpox would be waste of mat emG
with you Have no dread, sir; NOTHING shost
of an earthquake could do you any dama nno' :,
and the physician took his leave and the ma
tent rapidly recovered. pa