The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1871-10-17
Gbe Gmres, New Bloontflelo, l)a,
Jim Heflefnger's Farewell Epistle.

jim HeiIenngerS FHreWell EplStle,
Dear slr--I am unhappy and dispirted, un-
easy and respondent One week ago l was
jublant and full of hope, for the skies were
bright and the prospects were cheering! Now,
all around, there is weeping, and waiting, and
gnashlng of teeth. Cumberland, like Rachael
of old is weeping for her children. Perry is
in despair, because her sons have refused to
lick the dust of limestone soil, and Juniata
stands aghast at the deepening gloom of Judi
cal misfortune. If Jeremiah were alive, the
great Prophet of Israel's olden time, who be-
walled in plaintive accents the foolshness and
obstnacy of Gods chosen people, with what
intensified lamentations would he have Joined
in the dismal chorus that fills the atmosphere
surrounding the once happy 9th Judicial Dis
trict. Last week, while l was Inflated with
Joy, l revealed plan that had developed Itself
In my mind for the closing days of the cam
paign, to my esteemed friend, Judas. Iscariot
Arnold who is q descendant of Benedict Arnold,
the Revolutionary patriot, and who is also
statesman of great sagacity, which so oyerjoyed
him that he struck the air violently in every di-
recton, and even pounded terribly with his fist
upon a bar-ral that opened the way to his pas
ture field. That plan, which afterwards car
ried into execution, was as follows; l wrote
an address to the people of Cumberland, which
appealed to their pride ofancestry, their purity
Of blood, their nobility of character, and the
love they bore for the limestone soil of their
ls
surrounded them, inhaled for so long time by
the judicial lungs of this district, and urging
them by all those happy recollections to come
forth on the day of election, and crush out of
existence the men who would deprive their
county of her ancient and leayen-born right,
/ sent this to Wattles, with Instructions to have
eleven hundred thousand copies struck at the
job-oflice of Perrywinkle Scroggins q Co., who
have no connection with any piratical newspa-
per, and have them scattered upon the winds
until they were dense as the flakes In a snow
storm. / also wrote an address to the people of
Juniata, warning them of the impending dan
ger, and assuring them that McGrannahan's
soul Cikc old John Brown's) was still march,
ing on, and from the distant country to which
he had gone, came back no uncertain words of
cheer. l appealed to them by the sorrow of
the disconsoate widow, and the grief of Mrs.
McCracken, to stand by Carlisle in this terrible
ordeal. This address was sent over by Cliflen-
taflcr, but unfortunately he met some candi-
dates on the way and got dead drunk. The
result was that he lost the manuscript, and
Juniata was deprived of its benefit. In Perry
we waged the fight with terrible earnestness.--
We canvasscd every district, entered every
house, and used every conceivable argument
If we met a farmer ut home we praised his farm
and his horses; if we met his wife We spoke of
her garden and praised her onions; and when
we STAYED for dinner, never alluded to the dirt
in the victuals, or to the spOrtlye fly that flew
from the dogs bleeding ear into our hot coffee;
when ready to depart we kissed the children,
gave the baby a tye-cent-pece, and opened our
arguments for the rights of Cumberland,
even making terrible threats of what some of
lis would do, should Perry county man be
placed on the bench. In this way we labored
until the night of the 9th inst. Then | sat
down, full of hope, and confident that all
was right. But while was indulglng in these
pleasing anticipations n sudden gloom was
] CT md air1 eha nd do slnI
ows danced before my vision; the very air was
| stinling, and my breathing was almost sup
| pressed. Then on the stiffness of the moment
| came fearful sound-such as / pray may new.
| er more break upon the ear of any of Gods
| creatures.
! There is an old legend that runs thus; Far away
! in the immeasurable extent OF azure space there
hangs an awful bell invisible to mortal eyes, tha
! is toed by angel hands aone-that is never tollet
! except when the objectionable sin Is committed
on earth, and there its terrible tones ring through
the azure depths falling upon the ear of the guilt!
crlminal-and on his ear alone-freezing his sou
with horror as it proclaims to him that he is al
out east from Gods presence forever, that wh
the throne of the Eternal endures,. while the end
less ages that encompass the life of God roll OF
there is no hope-nOthng but the blackness OF des
pair and the torture of the never dying worm. ]
was the peals of that bell that broke on my ca
alas: then was mistaken In my position con
cerning the Judgeship. | must have sinne
against light and knowledge along with my man
friends in thus bowling down to this.modern Baa
Cumberland county supremacy" The dec
waters Of ailliction have rolled over me, hay
buneted their surges but must at last cease IN
struggles and sink to rest beneath their nols
camOr The dried apples and water are doin
their work, | am fast approaching dissolution
f.G.
tic angel may have and must have been mistake
about the tolling of the bell. have made m
will and am anxious to meet my fate My wi
contains the following egaces-To Cumberlan
county all my money amounting to sl,S7-To
Winks Wattles Esq, my bootjack and toothpick-
TO Obadiah q. Cllnentafier my books with a
earnest request that he will quit getting drunk
To Judas Iscarot Arnold the pen with which
have written my eplstes.-TO Mrs. McCracke
, my false teeth.-To Mrs McGrannahan bundle
old stockings which will do for making chlgnon
J and to her children all the balance OF my person;
effects And now the blood is chilling In my vein
| my eyes are bursting from their socket, my mu
, cles are growing rigid, my pulse beats slowly an
my heart will soon cease its pulsatlons Adiel m
! friends am going, and trust that when 1 hay
passed that bourne from whence no traveller r.
turns, that those for whom have labored an
by whom have been understood, may sometim,
drop tear at the recollection OF ,.l.
Yours Finally
JIM HEFFLEFINGER.
Who thanks his friends for their kindness an
now bids adIen 70 earth. I+AyJ-N
U.tto otfsa MnNTut.y Ma zfrr ron NovE,