The Shasta courier., 1871-05-20
A "BLAWsTED DRUMMER,
From the jacksonville Time.

From the Jacksonvllle lime.
Californians have so often made them
selves merry over the gouchcries of sore
gon Flats" that most of the denizens of
that State imagine the term Oregonian, to
mean a fool One of these gentlemen
made his appearance here this week, and
soon gave the astonished citizens of this
village to understand that he was super
ior sort of a somebody, and that Oregon
ians were "blawsted bawbarians, ye know"
This individuals name is Thompson, and
he spells it with ''p." He is drummer
for San Francisco cutlery and meer
schaum pipe firm and puts on more airs
than he could if he were the firm itself
On the road he desired one of the drivers
to drive slowly, as the "blawsted woads
made him demnition soah." The disgust
Of that driver and his reply can be imagin-
ed. At one of the stations this fastidious
Thompson enquired for napkin, as he
was mot in the-aw-habit, ye know, of
dining-aw-without napkin" Where
upon the obliging landlord went out and
after brief consultation with his wife,
she put down the baby, and procured for
the traveller three cornered article of in
fantine wear, sometimes denominated a
napkin. Then-well it's no USE Homer
described the wrath of Achilles, but twenty
Homers could not described the dire ir-
dignation of that disgusted cockney. He
cussed the country from Maine to Texas,
and from the Atlantic to the Pacific, by
States, Counties, Townships, Sections and
subdivisions. On arriving in town, he
soon became conspicuous as champion
talkist; he talked to everybody until the
people fed from him as if from pestilence.
He talked about everything and everybody,
and when he could not find any adult vic
tins, he cornered little boy in the Hotel
and gravely entered into theological dis
cussion with him. So much talking ne
cessarily produced thirst, and our friend
prtronized the various saloons so, that
upon the approach of night he thought he
would astonish the denizens by his accom-
plishment in the saltatory art, as kind of
| supplementary entertainment to those he
| had been giving through the day so he
"danced the dance that David danced"
and several other dances which we never
saw, nor heard of before, accompanying
the same with no other music out his mel
lifous voice. About this time citizen
entered, who had been paying his devotions
to the god, Bacchus, and our Thompson
immediately seized upon him as fit sub
ject upon which to exercise his fund of
jokes He made him dance, he made
him sing, he made him set down and arise
again; he informed him that by one blow
he could squelch the citizen utterly gave
him minute particulars of the manner in
which he could use him up; called him
opprobrious names, until the other party
thought the thing was getting too monot-
onous, whereupon he gently drew tre-
mendous Arkansas toothpick, and held the
same between his knees. Thompson with
a p) gave one startled look at the carving
knife, and went He "did not stand on
the order of his going, but went at once.
He seemed to have urgent business in
another portion of town just then, and left
at rate of speed which indicated that he
feared to be too late at the appointment.
He took the middle of the street. and be-
fore the gravel his heels threw up in the
air, had ceased falling on the roof of
Helms saloon, he had reached the U. S.
Hotel!
A belated citizen caught glimpse of
him as he passed, and thought it was the
shadow of some swift and large bird which
the moon had cast upon the street.
Thompson with p) had vanished before
the astonished spectator could recover his
senses. Our sporting men say the time
made by Thompson is unequalled, and
there is a standing offer entered on the
records of the jackson County Agricultural
Society to enter Thompson (with p)
under the name of "Skedaddle," against
any horse, mare, geldiDg, mule or jackass
in the known world or China, Thompson
and the other animal to go as they please
for thousand dollars mile. Or, they
offer to match "Skedaddle" against time
for any sum from fifty cents up to $780,
600; provided, however, that Kendrick
starts him with his butcher knife. The
race to come off over the Bybee track next
month.