The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1871-03-05


assured him, Tor bruises, sprains---still
under my ak' hst; Ia eeatohi any lSiht sIeam
ofrecosuitsonA Abruises. sprains, wounds,
sores .sN'ih q a"at t-''tH
SON the ieeta9HY gsik1asda7iae, siatefzaptine
me in my catalogueso OF positive cures.
'sOertainly; better for. the, feet than
for anything olse."
"Well, have sore feet, and that's the
| fact" said the shoemaker. "Yon see
there was rogue of fellow around
here couple of years ago, curing corns,
and he made my feet so-if I ever catch
the villain III use a strap on him; that's
what TIL do!' '
/ now felt sure, need scarcely add,
that my former patient did notrecognize
me, and 80 sold him two bottles of pain
killer to cure the sores T had made two
years before.
1t was not, perhaps, remarkable fact
that my pain killer went fuster than my
pain maker, the corn salve. I did n
thriving business in this-so thriving,
indeed, that gradually caught up, MS L
may say, with the intervening time be-
tween the sale of the latter and former
articles. That is, my earlier traces be-
came SO recent that my disguise grew
perilous. But there was such demand
for the pain killer that I went on, not
withstanding the danger. One day,
however, encountered sturdy young
fellow, upon whose feet had operated
not very long before. In his eagerness
for relief, he was in the act of p1rchas
ing it at my hands, when suddenly re-
cognizing me, he changed his mind, and
gave me sound thrashing instead.
THAT nnt nm onA fO tho ooin L l1or I'm
siness. returned considerably bruised
to my headquarters, and set all my ener-
gies to work on the invention of some
thing less perilous to others as we'll rs
myself. I may say here that 1 always
kept the littlo town which have called
my headquarters open to mo as an asy-
lum. by leaving it and its Immediate
neighborhood free from all my medical
and surgical experiments. The result of
my arduous creative thought eliminated
this tlme in paste to make old razor
strops new. It professed to do its reju-
venating work by simple application;
yet it did not sell very we'll. From the
very nature of things, did not have the
credulous woman-huif of the world to
work upon; they had little or no interest
in superannuated razor strops. It was
this consideration more than any other,
[ think, which inspired me with the
brilliant after-thought of changing the
name of my paste to that of healing
salve. Thus the same article became at
once endowed with universal curative
virtues, and became also the professed
desfderdtum of all human nature. I sup
pose it would not be modest in me to say
that my salve was too good for its ori-
glnnl purpose. It is at least true, that if
it failed upon razor strops, it succeeded
admirably upon mankind You will
hardly believe me when tell you, but
still it is also true, that by means of an
incipient beard and my hair grown long,
and of broad -brimmed slouch hat as q
disguise, sold box of my celebrated
healing salve to that same innocent shoe
maker who has already twice figured as
my customer. Owing to my pain-killer,
or the recuperative nature Of his healthy
frame, his feet were about we'll; and I
am glad to add that there was nothing
in my healing salve that would material
ly prevent his ultimate recovery.
woman is delusion, madamr' ex-