Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1871-10-05
Brevities and LeVitieS.

IL Bury your dog in the garden,
it will make the grapevine grow" ID the
latest ballad. aael .,...
beg The local editor of an Indiana pa
per introduced quantity Of carbolic acid
into his bedroom to drive away the mos
quitoes, and then-went and slept in the
woodshed.
m- "Ma, get down on your hands and
knees a minute, please" What on earth
shall do that for, pet? "'Cause l want
to draw an elephant"
pWH A Nashville paper complains Of
the low-bred, Ignorant, and rather hasty
impertinence" Of the sophomore swash-
buckler" who edits q rival newspaper, and
thinks he ought to cultivate a little of
that courtesy common monggentlemen."
n@- A thrifty citizen of Lewiston, Me-,
saved a dollar the other day by unscrew-
ing and returning the handles of his wife's
coffin.
Bag- An Ohio paper asserts that Mr..
Perry Culberston died II GAINESVILLE on
Saturday last from the effects Of over
exertion at fire in that place in 1874"
nsy- A woman got tired of seeing can
of powder lying around, and threw it in
the stove. Her husband is looking around
for his second wife.
Rss- The female barber out West has
retired from business, on account of the
arrival of little shaver"
H@ A summer boarder "a very close
calculator) recently astonished the land
lord by asking him how much he was
going to deduct from lis board because he
had two teeth extracted.-Next
@- An editor in Elizabeth, New Jer-
sew, has just recovered one thousand dol-
lars damages for ali assault made upon him
by person who didn't like something
that the editor ventured to print concern
ing him.
E- "I-Want to be an Angel was
played as an introduction to Ben. Buffers
Havcrhill speech.
RE- Holyoke Mass, is the champion
shad-hatehing community of the down
east" faction, 100000 Of those plscato-
rial specimens having been incubated there
during the season Just expired.
ES.. A California editor has purchas-
ed a mule. A brother "quillist' pro-
nouncers it wonderful instance Of self
possession.
il Two discarded rivals out West
discarded rifles, and resolved to settle then
little matter over box of nitro-glycciine.
They sat down upon it back to back. AT
the word go, they went.
@E The editor of the London Satur-
day Rericw says he well remembers tho
answer he received from an American o.
whom he inquired what were the wal
powers enjoyed by President Lincoln p
1t was "les what lie damn plcases."
sag- A remarkable preacher was that
who called upon his congregation to be
thankful that Providence should have
placed death at the end Of life, and not ir
the middle, so that we might have all pos
sible time to prepare for it.
s@ A man in GAINESVILLE, Ohio, who
has buried three wives, has their photo
graphs in group. within which his OWL
picture is the centre figure, and underneath
in this touching inscription. The Lore
will provide"
ap care dose bells ringing for fire p
inquired Simon of Tiberias. mo, indeed,
answered Tibe, "dey alb got plenty O.
fire, and de bells are now. ringing for wa,
ter." ....a
LIZA Schenectady man who had
heard that the safest way to commit sui
eide was to shut yourself UP and burn
charcoal, was found in q ten-acre lot with
charcoal fire burning near him. Though
he had taken precaution to put up the
bars and stop up crack In the fence with
newspaper, the charcoal went buck on
him and he lived. -
"A Georgia negro thoughthe would
economize by sending his son to school
and then make the boy teach him. The
plan.worked well until the young teacher
following the custom Of the seminary
where he was taught, gave the old man q
dose Of hickory, for spelling dog d-oor-g,
and then the latter became disgusted, and
ran away.
The hotel in New, England with
the longest name is the Quoquinnapssa-
kessosnogog House at Hampton Beach
1t has only one letter less than the whole
alphabet. gc.r2 .,.,f,% @
One day last week man in
Winsdor, VT, htched his team to. Q
freight car standing on the track, and
went into a benzine shop to take some.
thing. Soon he thought he heard some.
thing, and looking up the track, saw q
freight train moving out, in the rear o.
which was a whirl-wind composed prin.
cipally OF horses tails wagon wheels anc