The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-08-05
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

1roce as many couples VINO, IN the cohnuine
innocence of their hearts" have called upon him
to unmsrry them. The justice advised them
that, while he could easily marry people, IN.
marrying was more complex and expensive
perform ance, and beyond his jurisdiction. The
matter may be more expensive, bat seems simple
enough in the hands of IA Chicago practitioner
Poisoned dogs meat HIS its recommendations,
in economical point of view A oolored man
in Montgomery, Ala, seeing 4 tempting steak
lying loose near his neighbour door stole it and
cooked it for his breakfast. 1t happened to be
poisoned dogs meat, but it was all the meat the
man and brother will ever want
A temperance paper asks bitterly: go into
one OF your American gin palaces aud what do
you expect to find? ?" About here "you' would
be disappointed ii you expected to find "pure
gin" or any other purer iiqaor than Peoria
whisky.
The editors at Columbus, Ohio, have ceased
writing, the thermometer neing up to three shirt
collars minute, says the Springfield Republican.
TIE Lacon Home Journal says, poor woman
of that town gave the European circus a $40 for
a$l bill by mistake. Next day she wrote to
the manager who, reiunded the money by mail.
Ii the readers oI the journal swallow that
they must be ready to believe anything.
1t is not the lazy men that are clamorous for
eight hours day. The Dixon Telegraph says
the men III that town who sit ON the dry goods
boxes, whiting and chewing tobacco, don't ask
tor the eight hour sys,em, but pnt in ten or
twelve hours without murmur
The Harrisburgh Patriot Of the Goth ult. Saws
IA large comet was visible the north. western
sky last evening, aud attracted much attention"
They must have II very peculiar northwestern
sky about Harrisburg, the sky aforesaid ex.
hltlted no such phenomenon anywhere else
Beecher says, to kill Canada thistles, put them
to some profitable use. Immediately they will
be infested with rot, mldew, and horde of des-
troyiug insects. An ingenius Canada. manu-.
facturor has taken the hint and is now manufac-
turing fine article OF rUues and other textile
fabrics out of the thistle.
An exchange says, The sweetest thing in the
world wonan's heart" To which another
replies: YES, II Is ID perfect honeycomb-full Of
cells. Beware The fellow doubtless knows.
The Ottawa FREE TRADER concludes from
judge TrumoUlls speech at GAlesburg, on the
Fourth, that he has presidential aspirations.
Gan the FREE TRADER man mention an Amer.
icau citizen" VINO has not ?-Jotiet Republican,
Yes. Schuyler Colfax. He says so, at least.
Is the imped tongued Colfax' not truthful
An exchange touchingly pictures 1.-THE malevo-
lent pOtabug sitting the fence waiting for
business.
The Oregon Gaara piteously relates how IT
Hay, Of White Rock, was run over by mower
last week, and badly mangled that he died
soon after If the Whit Rock farmer had used
one Of Cushman u Co.'S Ottawa mowers, his T
Hay or clover either would not have been man
gled, but cut smoothly and nicely.
IL is nice going to some Iowa schools. lady
teacher at Des Moines called boy up and mad.
him show her how he kissed the big girls in tn,
wOodshed. After he wed her, she punished
him by making him stay after school. He say
he don't want to graduate Tor two years yet.
Ihe W olsh paper at Scranton Pa, accepts tn,
situation. AT least We don't see how its remxri
that "Cyfrarfu Cynaphledd Ddemocrataidd Da
lec,hem 10 o CLOCK heddyw," can possibly b.
explained otherwise
Social cataslysums are the effects of the opera
ton OF that principle OF Natural Selection b.
Winch all nature, animate and inalimute, Il
psrvaded. Whenever ANY one Of the elements 0
which society Is composed UocUlnes guam titatlvel
or qualititative!y siron4e than is consistent wit
the safety OF the social compound, there il VI
Instructive tendency toward Its oiniua alton. =
Ch'cayo R.putltcan.
Well, We are glad the thing Is capable Of sue
= clear eiuci tation. There is now no LONGER Al
excuse for excluding the word "catAcly sum
from Webstsrs dictionary.
Hartford paper presents this kuotty poiu
A man died leaving widow childless. but 81
peoting shortly to be mother. In hi. will h
provided that II the child WAS q boy he rhoul
have two.thirds and ii IA girl oue.third OF III
property, the mother in each case taking the r,
maipder. Ordinarily, the matter was slai
enoug, but the woman spoilt all by giving Dirt
to twins, u boy aud girl. That's woma,
every time.
The Evansville, Indiana, Courier has create
great CONSERVATION IN toas city by pnbllshin
the names OF young men who visit the dem
monde
The reason why Schuyler Colf.x refuses To
a Candidate for the presidency Is not that he d,
likes the public service, but he vrites ga I, 49,