Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1871-06-06

annoying to me, although more often
amusing to me and annoying to them.
1t was often very difficult for me to
speak my own name, and at post
offices where l was a stranger, have
often been obliged to write my name
on card, through sheer inability to
pronounce it..
For several years the word iva.
ter" was the most difficult one in the
language for me to utter. [ used a
great deal of water; always drank
1t at meals, and many are the strug-
giles | have had at hotel tables to get
glass of my favorite beverage.
The grimaces / would make at the
tittering table girl, would cause a
halt suppressed laugh from some sit
ting near, and draw on me the in
qulsitive, impertinent gaze of others.
think that any slight, infrequent
departures L have ever made from
the practice of total abstinence, have
been owing to my difficulty in get
ting water when L wanted it.
Many amusing incidents occurred
to me, only few of which L will re-
late.
In the spring Of 1853, 1 was at
tending school in North Bridgewate
Mass. Returning homo from Abing-
ton, on foot one afternoon, / met
man, who stopped me to inquire the
way TO the town from which | had
just came. The fellow stammered
fearfully. | began ts laugh at first,
then divining his wish, started to
give him the desired information, and
began to stammer myself.
CD d-n you, don't you m-m-
moc-mock me.
81 Amt m-moc- Won"
The oath was repeated, and his
brawny fist was shook so close TO
my eyes that could not see beyond
it very well, and his face fairly fam
ed with rage. He was a horny hand
ed delegate. good deal larger than
| was, and | resorted to diplomacy
instead of war. | finally convinced
him of my integrity, and we sat
down by the roadside ard had as
comfortable a social time as Artemus
Wards mother and Betsey James
mother used to have boiling soap to-
gether. | wrote up the incident for
the North Bridgewater Gazette !: it
was copied into the humorous paper
which Ossian &. Dodge was then
publishing in Boston this gave it
currency, and since then, in various
forms and located in various places.
it has hoated through the humorous
papers and lived the vagabond life
which such paragraphs do.
In the spring of 1856, while COM
ing from New York TO St. Paul, |
came to Dunleith, then the most
Northerly point on the Mississippi
which could be reached by rail. At
that time every ascending steamer
was thronged with passengers, and a
little experience the previous season
had convinced me that if one wanted
to sleep late in the morning, and per-
haps rest little in the daytime, q
bed in one of the rooms was better
adapted to his use than cot on the
cabin floor.
Tired with my longed journey, and
unencumbered with heavy baggage,
on the arrival of the train, l hurried
directly to the waiting steamer. 1t
was the Northern Belle, then truly
the belle of the river, and John G.
Cooper, now doing business on Main
street, La Crosse, was in the office.
When | reached the office of the
Belle, but two persons were ahead of
me, and | planted myself before the
counter; but before my turn came,
there was jam of impatient passen-
gers around me intent on the same
object as myself.
"St. Paul." said l, passing in my
ticket.
Name" said Cooper.
attempted to give my name, but
it was a perfect failure. l worked
my lower jaw, and gasped ike very
imbecile, but could not articulate a
sound. Cooper looked surprised at
first, but digusted Immediately, and
dozen hands were stretched out
with money or tickets in them, and
dozen voices were impatiently de-
handing attention. 1t was no time
for hesitation.
"Tom JONES'" said /, and I was
registered as Tom Jones.
! found friends on the boat, who
Familiarity addressed me as "Taylor,"
or "Lute." The observant Cooper
noticed this fact, and the next day
the following conversation took place
between us:
"You gave me yonr name as Tom
JONES'"
Eyes sir"
"Your friends called you Lutte
Taylor ?"
yes sir"
"What is your name ?"
"Lute Taylor"
What did you give it so me as
Tom Jones for ?"
"Well, see here, stranger, am not
used to the boats. / have heard that
you race and blow up the boat anC
passengers every little while, and ]
thought would travel as Tom Jones
and then if any accident occurred
Lutte Taylor would be safe.
| This incident afterwards came t
: the knowledge of Commodore w. f
| Davidson, and he is very fond of re
lating it, and l am doubtless indebted
to it for many Of the courtesies
, have received from him.
! In the summer of 1857, / wa
} publishing the Journal at River Fall
f in this State, and then and for som
J years after, there was in that tow
: a delegation of as active and reliabl
. stammerers as l have ever knowr
{ There were FIVE of US. First, Their
, was VIM. J. McMasters, then fore
: man of the Journal, now one of tn
editors and proprietors of the LAX
: City, [Minn.) Leader, and then q
{ now, one of the purest, kindliest an
, best men whom | have ever known
| Me- Aid No aaano IN El-a m ata,nro a,