Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1871-10-10
La17acb for Ha123aO3'ists.

every five minutes" 1t must be little un-
pleasant to the children to have the process
repeated so often.
A boy reading the verse, ''This is the heir,
come let US kill him" read out, This is the
hair comb u and the noise of the other boys
drowned the remainder.
A little girl was severely stung by bee
She told her mother that she had been bitten
by something that looked like yellow carriage
with the top turned back.
A little four year old boy being asked by his
mother if he would not like to have wings and
be an angel, replied, mo, ma, I'd rather be
hawk and live on chicken"
A teacher of vocal music asked an old lady
if her grandson had an ear for music. Wa al
said the old woman, Il really don't know
Won't you take the candle and see?"
A Domestic Revelation.-Nice Boy-"Tm
jolly glad you re going to stop with u.s. Wis
itor-"Are you, darling, why so?" Nice boy,
"Cause we shall have nice dinners now.
A full bearded young grandfather recently
had his hirsute appendage shaved off, showing
a clean face for a number of years. At the
dinner table his three year old grand daughter
noticed it, ''gazed long with wondering eye,
and finally CALCULATED Grandfather, whose
head you got on? %
"What are you about, my dear?" said his
grandmother to little boy who was idling 10
the room, and casting furtive glances at a gen.
tleman who was paying visit. Il am trying
to steal papa's hat out OF the room without
letting the gentleman see 1t, for papa wants
him to think he's out.
Little Johnny's mother reached for him with
her slipper the other evening, for hooking the
1oll nd of no Of
falcons that he sits on, was surprised to hear
him laugh over it, and demanded the cause of
it. Il was thinking how [ had fooled you
1t was Mary who hooked the jelly.
A little thing in a Sabbath School was asked
by her teacher IF she always said her prayers
night and morning." mo miss, | DON'T
''Why, Mary, are you not afraid to go to sleep
in the dark without asking God to take care of
you and watch over you till morning" mo,
miss, / ain t-'cause l sleep in the middle
A little shaver was told by his mother the
other evening at the table, that he could not
have any meat, as it was not good for him,
when he somewhat astonished her by quoting
a verse from Sunday School lesson that imam
should not live by bread alone" and added -
Nov, mother, don't think little boys can,
either"
II know what your beau's pretty white po-
ny's name is, said little boy to his grown up
sister, the other morning; tits Damye." "Oh
Eddie hush," said the Mortified sister, that S
a naughty word" We'll, [ don't care if It's, ,
said the juvenile, that's his name, cos last
night [ was outside the fence and when he
stopped at the gate he said: Whoa, Damye." "
A little shaver was sitting near his mother,
who was picking over raisins when she was
called out of the room, and as she left, said,
"Now. Sonny, don't touch any Of these raisins
when I am gone" Presently mother returned
and inquired, well Charlie, did you take my
raisins p "No, mamma. You know if
you did God saw you. ''Yes | know he did,
but he won't tell.
On one Of the late terrible hot days, little
boy of three years and half, who was perspi-
ring very freely, ran into his mother, saying
ooh, mamma, Use leaking all over. y The
same little fellow on another occasion had the
misfortune to cut his finger. 1t bled profuse-
ly and he went to his grandfather crying bit
terly and asking him to ''tie it up the juice is
all coming out.
"Mother wants to know if you won't please
to lend her your preserving kettle, cause you
know as how we wants to preserve 2, 1--WE
would with pleasure, boy I; hut the truth is, the
last time that we loaned it to your mother she
preserved it SO effectually that we have never
seen it since" WELL you needn't be SO sas-
SIS about your old kettle Guess it was full of
holes when we borrowed it, and mother would
not a troubled you again. but we seen you
bringing home new one.
Little Johnny was rejoicing in the possession
Of his first knife. He sat on the doorstep cut
ting the end of an old boomstick that had once
been used to poke the fire with, and was con-
sequently charred black on the outside Each
shaving removed revealed the wilderness of the
wood beneath His mother stood in the door
way watching the colored help wheeling gar
bage from the yard into the street. Just as
Sam passed out with load Johnny looked up
and said Mamma, did God make Sam p
Eyes, my son, why do you ask p Very dill
''Well, mamma, he didn't white him enough
you see"
A girl six years old Was on a visit to her
grandfather, who was New England divine
celebrated for his logical powers. Only think
he say, my dear?' why, he says the moon
is made of green cheese L. ism t at all, is l?''
well, child, suppose you find out for your
self" How can |, grandpa?' Get your BIZ
bic. Before she got more than half through
the second chapter of Genesis, and had read
about the creation of the stars and the animals
she came back to her grandfather, eyes all
bright with the excitement OF discovery. Il
have found it, grandpa it isn't true for God
made the moon before he made any cows
A country pedagogue had two pupils, to one
Of whom be was partial, and to the other Sc
we're. One morning it happened that these
two boys were both late and were called to ac-
count for it.
You must have heard the bell, boys why
did you not Gomez
"Please, sir, said the favored one, 81 was
dreamin' that | was goin' to Californy, and [
thought the school bell was the steamboat bell.
as | was goin in.
Every well,'' said the master, glad of any
pretext to excuse bis favorite, and now, sir. .
turning to the other, what have you to say ?''
please, sir, said the puzzled boy, Il
was waiting to see Tom off
trace Greenwood, writing from Denver city,
says: Mature did antelopes an i'll turn orig-
nally, IN athxlng 10 them mark by which they
can be seen, and bead drawn on them at a
distance 1t renders them especially liable to
attack IN the rear which reminds ns of little
story, A small Colorado boy. who had been
out planting, ran into tie house in state If
great excitement, saying tat be had seen some
antelopes In gulch near by. At his nntreatv
his mother went out to look at .hem brt no+b,
ing OF the kind was to be found She hono,1a
incredulous and said at last II d. hol;aro
you saw any antelopes it must have b,on ,,o' =
Imagination, my child" To this the litTas bor
Indignantly responded "Humph I guess Ivy ~
;maoipation isn't white hphind 20 ~