Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1871-03-23
WIT AND.WBDOM.-

WIT AND .WBDOM. :
A! gr. ~ l-rl- e.s--. -~ r-
"Do you like goldfish balls, Mr. Wig
lgins?" 81 really don't know. miss, I
can't rocoflect ever attending one," re-
piled Mr.. W., hesitatingly.
Mrs. Partington is. Collecting auto
Gratis, and will be grateful for any speci-
mems of the handwriting of extinguish-
ed characters.
A New Yorkmerchant abeent-mind.
edly copied a. loye-letter to his .sheart,s
idoP' in the letter book ofthe firm be-
fore sending it. .-- -.'.-,7 80.
I count that Heaven itself Is only
work to a surer issue. Let us be con-
and not presume to fret because it's
little. 6s. IL
A Musician, in giving notice of an in
tended concert at Cleveland, Ohio, and
nounced: ga variety efother songs
may be expected, too tedious te men
tion."
A tall, thin, square built gentleman
was seen walking down street few
days ago, when all of a sudden he was
zen to turn rOs1id. .5I7si p 1lJ RI sT7
There is a farmer in Kentucky so la
zy thatwhen he hoed corn he was so
slow that the shade of his broad-brin-
med hat killed the plants. ,r..rf .iza
Soft soap, in some shape, pleases all, e
and, generally speaking, the more fye
you put in it the better. --..-.se-.,,,-.,
! In proportion to the love we have in
our hearts for our Creator, will be our
capacity to love our neighbor as our
selves. i-o--' iiii -'s s''i-
1 See the sack open before you buy
what is in it; for he who trades in the
dark asks to be cheated. -..-,5..-,.
Ifyou want the time to pass lightly,
leave some small children ut home
playing with;matches. .z-'.''i ~
We are told there is nothing made in
vain. But how about pretty young
girl? Isn't she maiden vain: : 10
! A man who was told by. clergy
man, '.to remember Lots wife, ., re-
piled that he had trouble enough with
I his own, without remembering other
i mems wives.
y st. Louis paper published an ac-
count of the. suicide of "a steamer cap
tain, including his last words, which
the captain says are incorrect = Ftzs
i 1t is predicted that the Labor Refor-
liners and Tenn perance Men together
/ will not poll more than 2,100 votes in
New L ampshire. ...,-z-e-,
1 A careless printer made a dancing
masters card to read: 81 offer my re-
q fft1I Oh 20. l.
ed me with their patronage"
A correspondent at Loudonville, o.,
/ writes that on the morning of the lst
!. inst. lady gave birth to triplets, oneof
which was rather dark In color.
The officers of Vassar College have
tappointed a dentist for that institution
and instructed him to examine the teeth
of all the young ladies in attendance
once a week.
A little girl, busy in making q pair of
worsted slippers for her father, said toa
young companion: 81 think you're
lucky your pappa has only got one
lleg." s-
The inventor of new microscopical
!, writing machine in England claims
4 that the entire contents of the Bible
Iean be written twenty-five times in a
square inch.
A HoOsier critic compares Nilsson to
the Venice di Medici, ,and declares that
her '!dulcet and divine warblings'' fell
upon his beatifled heartn like the
"Splashing music Of melodious water
falls upon bed of smashed roses.
The Chicago Republican classiies its
" social" announcements under the
heading of births, betrothals, mar
riages, elopements, divorces, and
deaths. An exchange suggests as an
Improvements; hatched, matched,
! patched, snatehed, detached, and dis
patched. en rs T1za1 ta1srla-d5f
John b. Latrobe read paper before
THE Maryland Historical Society at its
recent meeting ON "a Lost Chapter in
the History of Steamboats," in which
he seeks to show that Robert Fulton
was not the inventor ofsteamboats.
! In AHibone's Dictionary of Authors,
which contains the names of IS, ,158 dis
ttinguished writers, We find $40 Smiths,
4 189 Joneses, and 1873 Browns. These
families held a high position in the his
tory of Hterature, -iis.-
The young King of Greece recently
made an effort to review the Olympic
Games on the same spot and in thesame
{ tstyle in which they were celebrated 25
centuries ago; and the result was an
I IignominiOus failure.
j Greeley writes to Hon. Will Cum
back, Lieutenant Governor Of Indiana.
that rust in wheat is caused by the oxi-
I dation of the surface Of the grain. If
wiped perfectly dry and enclosed in
buckskin sacks, well oiled, wheat viii
never rust. Coax!
j An eccentric wealthy gentleman stuck
Il upa board in field on his estate, upon
! which was painted the following: "I
will give this field to any man who Is
contented." Hesoon had an applicant.
"Well, sir, are youa contented man?"-
"Yes. sir, very." Then what do want
! with my fieid:" The applicant did
not stop to reply. - W. Z.
| The Marion Commonwealth furnishes
us with the following marriage notice,
:. which Is somewhat stony: Married
At fiintstone, by the Rev. Mr.. Wind
. stone, Mr.. Nehemiah Sandstone and
} Miss Wilhelmina MILESTONE, both Of
Limestone" Look out for brimstone
next. --.-..,
:. Ofthe nineteen Senator'S who shield
ed A. ]. in his impeachment trial, not
one Republican or Democrat = has
: been reelected, and only two remainin
J the Senate, one Of whom, Mr.. Trum-
bull, was recently removed from the
: C ChairmaLship of the Judiciary Conn
t mittee, aud the other is-well, 1t IS Gar
: rett Davis.