The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1871-06-17
The President dominates Fred.
Exchange Cards.
Beatrice sweetly Gushes,
Fred. Goes in on His Muscle.

1.-TWO Hearts That Beat As One"
NEWFOUNDLAND, June l5.-Reports
of this morning as to projected alliance
between Princess Beatrice. of England,
and Fred. Grant, are confirmed.
The Great and Good Greeley
will give young Grant away. He is 80
delighted with the idea that he declares
himself ready and willing to give the
entire Grant family away. .... o.
Distinguished HonOrs for Fred.
Fred ia to be created Prince Of the
Blood Royal, and made High Flap
Jack in waiting on the Queen. ..
How It was Brought About.
The proposition 10 connect the royal
houses of Guelph and Grant originated
over little supper at Windsor, where
Her Majesty remarked in connection
with the Treaty-"Schenck, my oom-
made
- AAStsaS Va A"..
of it with Canada. You ought to throw
in as a bonus" Gen.
Schenck telegraphed on the spot to
President Grant, who replied,
.sThrow In Fred
He's looking out for an opening some
where. Marry him to Vic's gal. I'll
give them San Domingo. Corbin shall
lake subscriptions up among all office
holders to pay for it." Schenck who
was
Gladstone to Make n Juiep
when the answer returned, referred it
at once to the Queen. Said Schenck,
you have daughter; we have a son.
Give them a few millions and your
royal blessing, and let US have peace"
Her Majesty, exclaimed:
ssBarkis Is wiIIin."
Produce your gentle savage. Its a
high old scheme. On with the banquet,
let Joy be unconfned."
Mr.. Brown Approves.
This gentleman. who was in attend
ance on the Queen, signifed his I'M
qualified approval by winking at
Schenck and vociferating "Bully."
Her Majesty at once turned in her chair
Ind remarked mildly,
Brown Restrain Your Transports"
The following kilograms have already
passed over the cable between the con-
racting parties, and more are coming
The Queens Dispatch.
Dear President Grant-Glory to God
The alliance between our ancient and
noble houses will cement the union
between the nations more closely than
thousand treaties. private Schenck
s mixing one Of your native driDks-a
,obler, and beverage to your health.
Regards to Mrs. g., and the kids.
VICTORIA K.
The President Replies.
Dear Cousin Wei look towards
iou ia old Bourbon. Your head is
evel. Have Won any more daughters
,r have your friends any? The fact ia.
have so many impecunious relations
Help me out. Regards to Wales and
hal haven't offices enough togo round.
hisn USELESS GRANT.
The Princes Dispatch.
Dearest Fred: Ma says we are to
be married. Isn't it awful jolly. Are
you blonde or brunette? Do you
,roquet? Ma won't let me dance round
dances, and | do so want to learn your
native war whoops and walk rounds.
You live in a wigwam of course, and
| m to be your Minnehaha! Won't
that be prime. Come over and see me
quick, and be sure to come in your war
paint. Bring all your scalps l dote
on scalps and things.
BEATRICE GUELPH.
NY Own Persimmon: | feel hunky-
dory, glad you re ditto. But bless you,
I'm no noble red man. Nary n red.
And I'm not heavy on the scalp. Dad is
tho, YOU bet; you should see him 70 for
a fellow that won't squint thorugh his
barnacles. Scalping ain no name for it
Won't we have a high old time, say?
You don't know what low down in the
twenties means! I'll show you. Dads
going to to ask Bonner to lend me Dexter
when | come over. Then Bonner will
give him to me, Of course. Everybody
give. Dad everything he wants; il they
don't he goes for EN-, tell You. How's
Lorn and Sister Louise? III shake You
all up. Love to the old woman; she's
a brick, and tell old Schenck and your
fellows to hurry up the cakes. | kiss
you for your mother. FREDERICK