The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-04-08


Greeley
The New York Leader is responsible for
he following little sketch of good woman
who has passed in her chips:
Queen Elizabeth is dead. 1t doesn't mat
ter how We got the information. This is
none of our fight, this quarrel between the
Associated Press and its rival. We've re
ceivel the news. and that's enough. She
died two hundred and sixty>eight years ago
the twenty fourth of last month. She sur
yiVed until the vital spark had fled, and
then she saw ii was Of no use resisting the
iuscrutable DEGREES Of fate, and so her uhfet
tered soul took its flight into the mysterious
void and settled down to that bourne from
which no traveller returns unless he has a
mission to jerk chairs around and rap on
tables for he beaefit Of mediums and other
long haired, wild eyed inmates.
Queen Elizabeth was a virgin vergin'
on seventy; and yet the fire cleaned as
brightly as ever in her cream~coioreG eye,
and he delicate sheen of her fiLely tinted
maroon nose contrasted as forCiby as in her
youth with the alabaster Of her brow; and
the plugs in her teeth were Just as valuable
as ~ hen gold was at 156.
She had no small vices. She did not
smuke or chew or belong to the society for
the prevention Of cruelty to animals. And
when she swole. she never descended to the
vugaritv Of Horace Greeley Queen Eliza
beth didn't. When she us, d profanity, she
gave it with finish. all elegance, a delicate,
airy grace and infused into il a luxurious
abandon, ard rounded it eff carelessy at the
corners. and dressed it up with well selected,
pOetlcal sGlectIves. so that 1t sounded like a
strain from sCme sweet slnger-like some
sweet singer strainng himself, in fact. And
she had red hair. Her chignon was burglar
proof. And often iu the dim twilight ot
evening, when the sun had sunk to rest
when the western sky was filed with tender
radiance and lambent light, and the bubul
wooed the rose iU the back yard, she would
play a few notes upon her harpsicord, OF
write Latin hymn, or an essay upon the
Harrison boiler. She was supposed to bo
the author Of Rock Me to Sleep, MutF er. =
and Beautiful Snow" and Five O'Clock
in the Morning. But. nevertheless. she
was very estimable woman, and with all
her faults we love her still-better, indeed
than if she was still fooling around. Queen
Elizabeth was not proud She always in
sisted upon cleaning her own teeth even il
she was queen aud she always did it once
week, every Sunday morning, with her own
tooth brush, What lesson does il teach t.
those who are naughty and vain. and belong
TO the bon ton. She never forget that size
was mere perishabie dust, aud that the sheer
aud the silk worm wore her fne clothes long
before she got them. She read every Sunday
School book that taught these facts; and
she once troi on Sir Walter Ralech's cloak
TO remind him Of them, because he was SO
set uP with his new fancy cassimeres.
Queen Elizabeth was not sorry 10 die -
She forc-aw that George + Train was com
ing to England, and she said to her physician
that she would prefer the enduring peace OF
the cold and silent grave to three WEEKS OF
George and the Alabama claims controversy
ani the Schleswig Holstein question all at
the same time.
Her last words were: Kill IIorace Gree
ley before he has chance to write " hat |
Know about Farmiug."' There was not a
dry eye in the nd-story front room
Every body was thinking how impossible it
was to fulfil her dying request, and escape
so much misery.
But she has now gone she has left us
we shall ste her no more. Perhaps it is for
the best. She was vigorous woman, and
If she had lived she might have come to
America, and We might have given her Of
fence, and she might have pranced around
here and flOgged us like the very nation
For she was a woman who followed closely
IN all the prevailing fashions. And so We
are glad she is dead, and has four tons oi
marble planted on her to hold .her down.
Rest IN peace, old girl Rest 10 pieces