Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1871-03-08
SAN Francisco, March Q, 1871,
psRHeRINATroS THE I.

80
i9t SAN FRANc1seo, March @, 1871.
FERMENTATION THE I.
"Reyelations Of a San Francisco
Waiter" Yes, Sir, that would be a
good thing to write about, for no one
that hasn't "slung hash" knows what
it is to do 1t. I tell you, Sir, a walters
just about the hardest life going, and
if 1t wasn't that use had made 1t come
easy, I'd rather shovel sand at q dollar
q day.
It was John, the we'll known waiter
at Uncle Sans restaurant, who made
the above observation, slightly misap-
pretending the question put to him,
and 1t was the writer, whose fast-di-
minishing store Of filthy lucre had
rendered it necessary to practice an
unpalatable economy, whom John was
addressing. Every INT in San Fran
cisco knows John-that is, every one
whose wifeless fate compels him to fire.
quent
The Temple. OF Culinary Mystery
in the neighborhood of Clay street,
and those who are not, know there is
such a place as Uncle Sans. 1t won't
do to plead Ignorance, my dear Sir,
and protest that you never entered the
establishment. Sorbier's, and Campi's,
and the Maison de Fer, and Martins,
perhaps are your regular resorts, but
we all have to stint jill expenditure
occasionally, and I know that you
have tried "Three of our twelye-and a
halt-cent dishes for twenty-five cents"
You need not be ashamed to acknowl-
edge it. Not only respectable, but
wealthy, men breakfast and dine there
every day, and you, and maybe /,
have known the time, and may know
1t again, when we we're glad to be able
to do It. So, in pretending to ignore
the place and saying you never entered
it, you merely exhibit a foolish pride,
and, to be O%andid--no one believes
you. 1t was
Uncle Sans
that first devised the brilliant idea Of
three twelve-and-a-half-cent dishes for
twenty-five cents. Previously hungry
mortals had to pay n bit a dish for
whatever they ordered, and in those
days many Nh unfull stomach must
have risen from the tables with anrqn-
appeased void beneath the walstcoat,
%grumbling for more !" but thanks to
Uncle Sam, a quarter now will pur-
chase a meal sufficient for any ordinary
eater. 1t was Uncle Sans, too, that
first gave potatoes and bread with
meats free Of charge, and enabled one
to indulge in the luxury Of ham and
eggs for twenty-five cents. In fact,
Uncle Sans revolutionised the restau-
rant business, and a lucky revolution
IL has been, both for the public and its
proprietors. The former benefit BY 1t
every day, and the latter-well, half a
dozen proprietors have successfully
banked fortunes since the change.
But to return to John. John Is q
tall. stout, good natured looking man,
with muscles and sinews that would
have delighted the eyes Of the late
Thomas Savers, and with classic locks
that fall down over n brow that Shaks-
peare might be proud Of. His face is
In a condition Of perpetual sweat,
which ever and anon lie transfers to a
napkin, and his voice has been tried by
long usage to the exact key that ell
ables it to be heard above the clattcr
of dishes. John Is In all respects
Model Waiter.
He can balance crockory oil his arm
with acrobatic skill. The manner in
which he carries his dishes, in utter
defiance of the laws Of graVitation,
would teach a wrinkle to the architect
Of the Leaning Tower Of Pisa, and
make Sir Isaac Newton stare with
establishment. The nervous cater ex-
poets every moment to see cups and
saucers and plates come to the floor
with q grand crash, but they never do,
though If anybody else was to try the
feat a disaster would be certain. He
has a most wonderful memory, too.
BY what process he engraves the indis-
criminals orders for "beefsteak rare,"
''oyster soup," "mutton chop, well
done" "~buciwheats," ''corn starch"
"mock turtle" and so on, upon the
tablets of his memory, so that each
one gets exactly what he asks for with
out repeating the request, Is such q
puzzle In mnemonics that my various
vain attempts to solve the mystery have
always ended with the conclusion that
walters, like poets, are products of
nature rather than art. When John
said Revelations of q San Francisco
waiter? Yes, sir; that would be q
good thing to write about" we were
sitting tete-dtete at one Of Uncle Sans
tables. It was a slack times O'Clock
In the afternoon-and john was forti-
flying himself with German pie and a
cup of coffee, In preparation for the
rush of the 4 o'clock diners. I was
toying with oyster soup that looked
and tasted like bill-stickers' paste, and
had Just triumphantly raised an oyster
on the end Of my spoon, that / had
been searching for ten minutes OF
more.
~ don't mean exactly the hardships
Of q walters life" said I, Though l
have no doubt that would make an
Interesting paper for the Ocsrldnd ; but
the little tricks and-ahem-in fact-er,
Now, what Is this stuff made Of? You
know all about It, john"
"That, sir? That's oyster soup
sir"
stirred my spoon round APOLOGIZE
cally, and again fishing the one oyster
to the surface, deprecatingly admitted
that perhaps 1t was.
"Two cans of oysters, sir-best Bal
timore coves; plenty Of good butter, a
quart of milk, twenty-four gallons Of
water, and a little fiour-splendld
Oregon -four, sir; costs six and a half
n barrel. You don't get soup like that,
sir, at any other place In the city.
Awfully fattening, sir. We sell fifty
gallons of 1t every day. There was a
big u on 1t yesterday, sir, and we
were out before u O'clock"
Sand the mock turtle?" l MUIR
INJURED, almost feeling rs If l had been
slandering a bosom friend.
ttNIock turtlap Yes. sir. we're noted