The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1871-07-22
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course with the natives Of the coun
try. For instance, my father wa
in Paris ten hours, and he speak
French fuently."
will you take this woman to be
your wife?' We'll, SQUIRE was
The reply, you must be q green 'un
to ask me such question as that
Do you suppose I'd be such o
plaeuey fool as to give up the bar !
hunt and take this gal to the quilt
ing frolic, il / want conscriptur
ously sartin and determined to have
herr Drive on with your bust
ness
A white-haired, old plantation
preacher thus addressed one OF the
meetings Of the dissatisfied dark
les What are yer grumbling
about7 Yer all better of dan we
ever 'spected to be. Did yer tink
when Massa Linkum guv ye yer
freedom, he was gwine to feed yer
on ice cream3'
This is pretty sharp satire on
our present system of choosing
iuries. It is from the Louisville
Courier Journal: There is at
least one good reason why the ne
gro ought not to be educated.
Whenever be gets so he can read
newspapers, he will no longer be
eligible for juror
There is an advantage in being
fat. A few nights ago, o bulky
lady at Bridgeport, Conn alarm
ed by the approach Of burglars,
leaped out of bed with such force
that she shook the house from
garrett to cellar, awakening . male
lodecr who slept on the lower
floor, and frightening away the
burglars before they had time to
secure anything.
A Dubuque Iowa. minister re-
fused to attend to the dying pray
ers of an erring woman, which
moves the Times, of that city, to
say: We will bet a bogus five
cent piece against his soul-which
is as nearly an even bet as we can
concoct-that preacher is fire.
ouenter Of such establishments as
that poor girl died in, and put on
that assumption of righteous in
dignation in order to avert suspi-
cion from his skirts
The last rat story is from Chica-
90. In q house where the rats
had been very troublesome, trape
had long been set; but to no pur-
pose. Finally, come of the family
determined to watch the trap. 1t
was cunningly set. Soon young
rat appeared, and Was about step
ping on the fatal spring, when an
old rat rushed 10 the rescue, seiz
ed the indiscreet juvenile by the
tail, and dragged him of to the
hole.
A girl in Chester, VT, died re.
Gently from tight lacing, and To-
cal editor, in view of the sad event
says: III the girls cannot live with
out being squeezed, we suppose
men can be found who would sac
ritice themselves. As young Of
we are, we'd rather devote three
hours q day without cent Of pay
as q brevet corset than see these
girls dying off in that manner
Office hours almost any time
Judge Jonah Joles, Q Western
judicial dignitary, recently deliv-
cred the following charge to thu
jury, in the case Of Elm Crunch
on trial for stealing:
Jury, you kin 60 out; and dom,
show your ugly mugs here till yor
find verdict, II you can't find
one of your own, git the one thu
last jury used
The jury retired, and after ar
abs ence Of fifteen days returned
with verdict of Suicide in the
ninth degree and fourth verse;
Then Judge Jonah Joles pro
nounced upon Crunch this sen
tence:
Film Crunch, stand up and face
the music. You are found guilt,
of suicide for stealing. Now thi,
court sentences you to pay flint
Of two shillings; to shave you
head with bayonet in the bar.
racks and il you try to cave il
the heads of any of the jury, you'd
catch thunder-that's all. You
tate will be . warning to Others
And in conclusion, may the Lof'
ave mercy on On yonr soul
Sheriff, git me a pint Of red-eye
I'm awful thirsty
Nor THE LADY.-A well know
minister. walking along the stree
few days since. met q lady 70
whom he had recently performe
the marriage service. Desiring t
renew the acquaintance (for tn
lady had interested him greatly .
the sime) he accosted her with th
remark:
Madam, did l not have ii
pleasure of marrying you q ie
days since ?
Il was married a few days, sill
Yes, thought I WAS not mi
taken; ! married you
Indeed! Well, I thought n
husband was q much younger mt
than you are; but have not Sc,
enough Of him to make his a
quaintance thoroughly. By Il
way, my dear, my chignon is &c