The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1871-08-03

Ne Patent Mode Of Livink.


The Patent Node of Living.
Lam sometimes lost IN delight ag
Eread the confident and generous
directions efsOme man who has so'-
yed the-problem of-eorreet 4lying,
ana given his gospel to the world.
How much better thar any imagin.a
cd millennium will that be when we
conform all onr vile bodies to hisr
body-what a sweet uniformity
when se all eat and drink, and sleep
aud dress ahd exercise exactly as
he found It best Cor him. Tie pro,
cess Of natural selection. hiss gone
quitsfar enough. Let as be ofeRos
mind and diet-hran Of one braRs
and flesh Of flesh. we shall go
to bed at enc hour, end that right
early-exeept editors Of mofningf
Journals, who win have a dispensa-s
ton to die early We shall Fiseq
Ikea bed Of erocuses in Spring, A.
a very early hour and ali togetheri,
Sickness will not excuse MS fer
there will be no excuse for sieknass.s
At the same inoinent we shall BEEN
gagged in taking an. sir bath, &
plunge bath, q spenge baths dry
rub, and then dressing Ace5fding
to a tabular set of figures, furnished
by the central authority; showing
the proper weight Of each garment
according to the temperature indi-.
Gated by the thermometer' we shall
all take brisk walk Of elefeH niti4
ut,s We shall saw wood for half
an hour If We have no lifting ma,
chine, and then sit down to break,
fast, to consist of half a pint Of FL
tered water (frec Of apimai substart
ces and two quarters Of a dried aps
pie, or any other fruit in season, To-
be eaten with the utmost cheerfpl-.
ness, and even with q little mode,
rate hilarity, A flied apple with
hilarity should be ayoided.. After
breakfast we are to 60 to our yaris
Gus occupations with a clear mind
and All. elastic frame. By 12e's
clock we shall be quite ready for
dinner This meal is 10 be varied
every day ia the week-differen
kinds of bran bread, different kinds
Of dried apples, and other sorts Of
fruit, that do not contain certain
kind ofacid which is hostile to the
standard stomach Of the reformer
whom we follow, to be eaten with
merriment {no matter whohas died
or who has gone into bankruptcy
to be eaten in large quantities, III
fact we are to cat all we want at this
kings meal, with one restriction,
We are to leave of hungry and exr
tremely hiiarlvus. The dinner II
to cost not over eight cents, except
you dine with friend and he pays
the bill, in which case you may take
sugar on your fruit. After dinner
you may take a siesta Of twenty
minutes and nap in your chairs
but do not lie down; and sleep With
your mouth shut If in Is time, foT
animal food is absolutely pr0ilibit-
ed. These directions may seenE
but nothing Is trivial
to an immortal man, as you viH
feel when you go to your business
with a springing step, a sparkiing
eye, glowing cheeks, fire in every
limb, exultant blood Ia every mus,
Gle, and the consciousness that you
have no butchers bill, no grooer's
bill or milkman's, that sou owe no
man a dollar, and can keep the ten
commandments, just as easy as yoH
can wink. As you walk along the
street sou occasionally jump into
the air four or i've feet, OF leap over
the boundary fence and back and
laugh aloud. At supper It is best
for you to eat nothing, excepting
your own cheerfulness; but II ma
ture win have something try a lit
tle brown bread, raised without
yeast, slowly masticating it, think
ing about butter. and being careful
70 call up no image that will n
duce excessive laughter; for this
is the time to begin to tranquilize
the mind and prepare FOR self.satie.
fed slumber.