Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1871-04-01
GATHERINGS By THE WAYsIDE.

An indianapolis paper puts the cap
ture of Il four pound eel into its chronolog
ical record.
A careless printer made dancing
masters card to read " offer my respect
ful shanks to all who have honored me with
their patronage"
-" What have you to remark, madam
about my siuginS!' said gentleman to a
lady. Nothing, sir" replied the lady
(" it isn't remark able"
1t i, said there is man in Burling-
ton, Iowa, who is 50 stiugy that he picks
the flies out of the snror bowl and brushes
the sugar oft their feet.
A negro recently died in Augusta,
GA, who was only one hundred and seven
years old. The excessive use of tobacco
was what cut him of in his prime,
"A Connecticut farmer, on its being
found that his load Of hay contained sew.
cral large bouldcrs, remembered he ' druv
pretty close to stun wall on his way to
market"
DIR. Galcntinc, who slew the alleged
.scducer of his wife, few months ago. at
slaughter. They do not seem to under
stand emotional insanity in Cleveland.
---Soncboly says "dcvil' is a mean
word any way it may be written. Re.
move d and it is evil, transposc the and
it is vile, remove the and it is il, remove
the and remains, which has the aspirate
sound Of hell
An unfortunate New Haven youth
was recently SO convinced that he had
swallowed his two artificial teeth, plate and
ALL that he suffered horrors in Imagination
and severe pain in the stomach. lie after
wards found the teeth in his vest pocket.
A young lady school. teacher was one
Sabbath, lately, cn!cavoring to impress
upon her scholars the terrible punishment
of Nebuchadnczzar She told them that
seven years he ate grass, just like COW.
just then small boy asked: " Did he give
milk Y
"A family of children in Indiana, when.
ever hunter invades their fathers farm,
skirmish the fields in front of him, and
when he fires one Of the children falls,
pretending to be bit by stray shot. MINI
rod fees, and the Juveniles pick up the
squirrels.
There are more than 200 plants in
one of the school houses in Springfield,
Mass. Scarcely window in the building
but has its row of plants; pictures adorn
the walls, and all the appliances for max.
ing the rooms pleasant and sojourn in
them profitable, abound. ...
An Iudianian threatened suicide and
went down cellar for the purpose as he in
formed his wife. Soon the report of
pistol was heard from the subterraneous
apartment. His wife kept right on knit
ting, aud after awhile the man came up
stairs, swearing that the woman hadn't got
any feeling.
During the services of prayer meet
ing at Fall River, Mass, a messenger
came to summon an NJ. d. who was present
to attend little boy who appeared to be
suddenly attacked, after short nap, with
symptoms Of paralysis, to the great con-
stcrnation Of his parents, as one hand was
placed against his head and he said he
could not remove it. The doctor fastened
to his relief, and on examination it was
found that the hand was firmly fastened
with chewing gum.
A gentleman of Halifax being at Ia
dies fair not long since, and being solicited
to buy something by fair girl who kept
one OF the tables, said he wanted to buy
what he feared was not for sale-a lock of
her hair. To his surprise and delight she
promptly cut off the coveted curl, and re-
ce'ved the price offered-SlO. The happy
purchaser was exhibiting the trophy to one
OF his friends who very suddenly blasted
his JOY by saying: "She rather outaanked
you, for to my certain knowledge she only
paid So for the whole wig"