The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-08-10
Anoersolr ynteQigel1fer.
ssWhat I Kno about Pharmin.''

sWhat Kno about Pharmin."
What kno about pharmin il kussed little.
Mi buzzum friend, Horace Greeley, haz rit
book with the abuv name, and altho haven't
had time to peroose it, yet don't hesitate to
pronounce it bully.
Pharmin (now daze) is pretty much all theo-
nv, and, therefore, its astonishing that man
kan live in New York and be good chancery
lawyer, and also kno all about pharmin:
A phar1n (now daze) of one hundred akers
will produce more buckwheat and pumpkins,
run ON theory, than it would six years ago, run
on manure and hard knoks.
There is nothing like book farming, and the
time will eventually come when a man wont
hav 100 hav only one of "Josh Billings Farm
ers' 4Almanax," to run pharm, or q A"inP
meeting with.
Even now it amt uncommon tew Sc three OF
four hired men, on pharm with three or tour
spans of oxen, all standing still, while the boss
goes into the library, and reads himself for the
If I was running pharm (now dazel cup
rose j would rather hav 80 bushels ov some
New breed oy potatoes razed on theory, then
tsw hav "a bushels got in the mean, beknight-
ed and underhand way o7 our late iamenteo
grand parents. -.
Ph0nmln, a1ter all, IL goou ueai Anu VA1o
tavern Dizziness, emmy body thinks they Kan
keep hotel (now daze,) and emmy body thinks
they kan pharm it (now daze) and they Kan,
but this is tie way that poor hotels cum tew be
80 plenty, and this is likewise what makes
pharmin such easy and profitable Dizziness. :,
Just take the theory out of pharmin, and
there amt nothin left, but hard work, and fired
little krops.
When I see so mutch pholks rushing into
theory pharmin, as there is (now daze,) and 80
menny ov them rushing out agin, think ov
that remarkable piece ov skriptur, which re-
marks, "menny are called, but few are cho-
sen." :.
I onst took pharm on shares miself, and
run her on some theories, and the thing figured
I'D this way. dun all the work, phurnished all
the seed and manure, had the ague 8 months
out ov IL, for mi share ov the profits, and the
other phellow paid the taxes on the pharm for
his share.
By mutual konsent quit the pharm at the
end ov the year.
What I know about pharmin amt wurth
Dragging about and feel it my duty to state,
for the benefit ov my kreditors, that if they ev-
er expekt me TO pay five cents on dollar, they
mustn't start me in the theeretikal pharmln en-
ploy.
on pharm, the less theory he lays in the bet
ter, and he must do pretty much all the work
hisself. and support his family on what he kan
sell, aud 90 ragged enuff all the time tew hunt
bees.
kno of menny farmers who are so afflicted
with superstition that they wont plant single
bean only in the last quarter Nv the moon, and
kno others so pregnant with science that they
wont set gate post until they have had the
ground analized bi sum professor of anatomy
tew see if the earth haz got the right kind OF
ingredience for post holes.
This IL what call running science into the
ground.
: The fact ov it il that theories of all kinds
work we'll except in praktiss they are too Of
ten designed to do Che work of praktiss
They amt no theory in breaking mule on
ly togo at him with club in your hand and
sum blood in your eye, and break him, just as
you would split log.
What kno about pharmin amt wuth much
emmy how, but undertook to brake kicking
heifer once.
J read treatiss on the subjekt and phollowed
the direckshuns cluss, and got knokt end
waze in about minuts. then set down and
thought the thing over.
Imade up my mind that the phellow who
wrote the treatiss was more in the treatiss biz
illness than he was in the kicking heifer trade.
cum to the konklushun that what he knu
about milking kicking heifers he had learnt bi
leanin over barnyard fence, and writing the
thing up.
got up from my refekshuns strengthened,
and went for that heifer.
I will draw veil over the language used,
and the things / did, but went in to win, and
wonl
That heifer never bekum COW.
This is one way to break kicking heifer, af-
ter man has studyed all the books in the
kreashun on the subject, and tried them on, he
will run back onto mi plan, and make up his
mind, as did, that kicking heifer is worth
more for beef than she is for theoretic milk.
have worked on pharm just long enuff tu
kno that there is no prayers so good for poor
land as manure, and no theory kan beat IL
hours each da (sundaze excepted) OF honest La
bur applied to the eile.
am an old-phashioned phsllow, and hartly
bate most nu things, because has BEEN beat
by them 90 often.
much BY theory But what waz for sail or tew
let in g few wears, and never knu pharm
that was wurked bi manure and muskle, on the
good old ignorant way of our ancestors, but
Vhat was handed down from father to son, and
ALWAYS was noted for raising brawny-armed
bows and buxom lasses, and fust rate pota-
toes. -.
What kno about pharmin is nothing but
experience, and experience now daze amt wuth
8 kuss.
had rather hav good lookin theory tew
ketch hates with, than the experience even OF
Methusler.
Experience is good thing to lay down and
die with, but yu kant do no Dizziness with IL
tnow daze J ii amt hot enuff
Give me red hot humbug, and kan make
most ov the experience in this worle ashamed
Of itself.
HUSBANDS M1sTAKEs.-We make great