The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-12-05

Two members OF the West Virginia
Legislature lately took a sleeping car
at Grafton. The cars were crowded.
amp the two had to sleep together. One
WAS fat the other was lean. The fat
man snored, and the lean one had to
lay awake. At about midnight the
insomnia legislator could no longer
stand the stentorious breathing of his
mate, and he aro,e and sat by the fire.
An old lady entered and wanted a
place to sleep. Go to my BERTH said
the sardonic lean one; L left my little
boy there asleep. l shall sit up. must
think of legislative things So the old
lady went to her berth, disposed of her
garments, and laid down. Presently
the boy kicked. Then the lady pat
ted him on the back, and said: Lie
still sonny; pa said | might sleep along
with you oh, nor roared the bison
"a boy no more, but bison: 'rhun.
der! who are you? | amt bov-Im
member of the West Virginia Legis-
lature.' The lady then went into a
swoon; nor could she. he aroused until
the fat man had promised her that he
would have the lean one impeached.
The drill inspector in an English
regiment-one of the old stamp of
martinez s rgeants-who was the ter
ror of every recruit and the remorse.
less tyraht Of the awkward squad, was
putting firing party through the fune-
raj exercise. Having opened the ranks
so as to admit the passage of the sup
posed carriage between them, the in.
structor ordered the men to rest on
their arms reversed Then, by way of
practical explanation, he walked SLOW
ly down the lane formed by the two
ranks, saying as he moved: Now, Pm
the corpsel Pay attentiun! Having
reached the end of the party, he turn.
ed and regarded them steadily with
scrulinizing eve for moment or two,
and then remarked. in most solemn
tone of voice. Your 'ands is right,
aud your 'eads is right; but you
'aven't got the look of regret that you
ought to ave.;
Sophia, six year-old pet, after look
ing thnughtfulIy ut the new moon u
little while, turned to her uncle and
sand; Uncle Will, l can see Gud's
thumb nail. That is it,. she added,
pointing To the narrow crescent; and
| can almost see Gods thumb. AT
another time she found shelless egg
unuer the currant bushes, and, in
high state of excitement, brought il
in and showed il to her aunt. See
auntie, said she, what | found under
the currant bushes And | know the
old hen that laid it, Pm just going To
put it back in the nest and make her
finish it,
The High School of Springfield,
Ohio, graduated the young ladies Of
its last class in calico dresses, as pleas
ing to the eye of taste as to the hand
of economy. This was brought about
by the thoughtful suggestion Of the
superintendent and the hearty ac.
quescence of the girls themselves, on
the only ground on which high schools
can long De pefpelualed, namely, lhat
being supported by taxation they must
be open 10 all classes in society and
confer their advantages upon the poor.
est of their pupils, without prescription
by fashion or creed, expenses or any
thing else.
Some paper says: "Texas has new
game in cards one ho.ds revolver,
the other holds the cards. A coroner
holds the inquest. In case any one
should wish to try the game, and finds
the instructions not sufficiently full,
we may add that the holder of the
cards turns up" and that the frer of
the revolver "cuts." In New York, We
presume, the coroner would hold the
stake, in the interest Of the next feiO de
Sc when he turns up.
A concsiled young parson once said :
This morning preached to Il C ngre-
ton of asses ? i thought Of that re-
torted a lady, when you called them
your beloved brethren