The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1871-09-05
Rates of Advertising.


The best thing out-out of debt.
A hard-set Illinois thief recently
stole the lightning-rod off church.
Coming to Grief-Meeting trouble
halfway.
All Bung is the name of Chinese
pugilist in San Francisco.
Two Virginia. farmers fought a duel
with scythe and an axe.
What have you to expect at hotelsH
Inn attention.
Tennyson is again Idyling away his
time.- Det. Free Press.
The London underground railway
cost four million dollars mile.
An Illinois church was carried bodi-
ly six miles on freight car.
His girl "shook him" and he jumped
into the river at Quincy, Ill.
A new German fiction unfolds its
slow length in nine volumes.
An English lady has been sued for
breach of promise by farmer.
A Model for bust-almost any pat
ent boiler model.-[Low. Cour.
An Atlanta negro owns to having
had eight wives and sixty-four chill
dren.
A gentlemanly New Orleans thief
returned wedding ring he had stolen.
Illinois chickens scratched up a
gold watch that was lost seventeen
year ago.
! Wachtel, the German tenor, was
once hack driver; now he's on the
stage.
Why is the sun like good loaf?
Because it is light when it rises.
What is that which is so brittle that
if you name it you are sure to break
| it? Silence.
What is it that goes up the hill and
down the hill, and yet never movesp
The road.
/, What drink should sailors be fond
! Of? Port.
Why should the speaker of the
House wear spectaclesf Because go
many attempts are made to "catch
I his eye."
D What is the difference between an
egg-shell and physicanl One is M L
/ and the other is NJ. d.
Which is the most appropriate drink
for fops2 Spruce.
. When is theatrical manager like an
: astronomer? When he discovers new
= star.
= Why are young ladies so partial to
- = sunset and twilight? Because they are
daughters Of Eve.
it Spurgeon thinks some ministers
g would make good martyrs-they are
e SO dry they would burn well.
a AT a recent marriage in Illinois, the
Il the groom was forty and the bride
'S twelve and half years of age.
Il A Swimming-master may sometimes
d d be said to be literally immersed in
- business.
: The Chicago Republican calls this
I can explodemical season for Kerosene
, lamps"
n Thirty years ago there were not
twenty wood engravers in the United
States. Now there are four hundred.
,e Tall gentleman should beware of
a the habit of kissing little ladies, as it
!. might in time make them round-shoul-
o dered.
If man has carroty hair and tur-
. nip nose, with a radish complexion,
= must he necessarily have vegetable
q marrows in his bones?
l, A carpenter named Frank Markley
g fell from the roof of a barn in WASH
y ington township, few days ago, re-
ceiving serious injuries.
r, A journal certifes to the existance
. of young lady who took out fifty
r, seven hair pins from her coifure and
e yet her hair did not come down.
X Victoria's daughter, Crown Princess
of Prussia, is growing fat, like her
a mother. She is 81 years old, and has
o given birth to six chrildren.
y The two new Roman Catholic Cathe-
) drals in New York city will cost Ga
100000 each. That's the way the
a money goes"
= There are many newspapers that
i. make little noise in the world but the
ladies will testify that they can make
n great "bustle."
|. New York and New Jersey people
h drink more beer than those of any
other two States-the yearly average
q consumption being 24S glasses for ev-
!. cry man, woman. and child.
e When a man and Christian brud-
g der runs away with the Church plate
at Memphis, one deacon catches him
Q and holds him while another fixes him
z for the coroner. q.
- A young gentleman Of Pittsfeld,
| NTaoo hos rapaDtlv involvad himsalf in