The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1871-03-04
REIs NANTS.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


Customs are like grease-they make
enpything slip easy.
There IS sum things that kant be coun-
terftted-a blush is one oy them.
Goodness is jest ez mutch NV study
az mathumaticks is.
If a man eXpeckts tew be very virtew-
Gus he mustn't mix too mutch with tie
world, nor too much with himself eeiher
Thare Is more deviltry in the world
than lhare is ignorance.
The people who acktually deserve 20
lly their lives over again are the very ones
who don't want tew do it.
The richest man ov AL is he who hez
got but little, bul he has got all he wants.
Natur makes all the noblemen-weallh,
educashun, nor pedigree, never made one
yet.
When a man duz me a favor ] ulwuz
try tew remember il. and when he duz
me an injury | alwuz try to forget lift
l don't, | ought to-
If a man Is honest he may not alwuz
be IN the rite but he kan never be ia the
rong-
Crate takers are generally CRATE liars,
for them who talk So much must sooner
or later, run cut w tue truth, and tell
what tha don't kuo.
l don't bet thare IL emmy sich thing az
a pcrfeckly good man, or a perieckly bad
one.
l kno ov emmy quantity ov people
whose virtews are at the mercy ov 9TH
er folks, who are good simply for the
reputashun ov it, who haven't got envy
more real appetite 10 their consciences
that kIam has
| hav siuddyed mi own karakter, and
mi own impulses for SO years cInss!y,
and | Kant tell TO day 90 save bei)
whether am an honest and trew man or
not-!f thare Is emmy boldly who knows
about this matter | wish they would ad-
dress me d letter, enk losing a postage
/ blister.
Tharc IL no sekts, nor religious dis
putes among the heethen, they all ov them
cook missionary in the same wa.
One CRATE recon WIN ''JordUn is sich
a ruff road 10 travel is bekause almost
every boldly works inside ov their own
lot, aud lets the turnpike take care Uv
/ itself.
Thare is lots Of folks who expect TO
4 eskape Hell jist bekauze the crowd is So
CRATE that are going thare.
Evry man makes his own pedigree,
/ aud the best pedigree is clear conscience
To be gentleman, git ritch and keep
a boss and buggy.
EiItew in poor man is looked upon
# as jewel in tud's noze.
The man who IL tyrant In his own
household Is an ahject cuss among hIz
equals.
After man is fairly born the next
CRATE blessing is a square deth.
Nirlew is like strength, no man kan
tell how mulch he has got Nv it I'LL he
Gums across sumthing he kant lift,
| hev cum to the konklushun that
what evry boldly praizes needs cluss
watching.
/ Thrae is nulhing the world will pay
! as mutch for az fust rate nonsense, and
thare is nuthing in the world so skarse.
/ Thare is many folks who "re ike
mules, the only way to their afieckshuns
is thru the kindness ov klub.
/ Thare aint but phew folks who kno
how to civ gifts, and tie rumber who
kno how tew receive them is less.
! The strongest propensity in woman
J natur Is 10 want tew kno ''lcltrfS going
on !"' and the next strongest is TO boss the
! job.
/ Skorn no; the da ov small things, for
thare is no man in This world 50 CRATE
( but what sum one can do him an injury.
Thare is one witness that never is
guilty of perjury, and that IL the con-
science.
G'hare IS sich a thing as being alwuz
/ too quick-I am ore ov that kind miself,
+ | alwaz miss rale rode train bi being
/ thar half an hour too soon.