Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1871-03-29
TOM POULTONs JOKE.

A sociable club of seventy or eight,
choice spirits, calling itself The Serious
Family and having for its president OF
chairman Mr.. Tom Poulton, Barfister-at
Law in theory, and Nothing -at-All IL
fact, held its weekly meetings for some
years in three or four large rooms in &
dull, gaunt house in Soho Square. The
primary object Of this association was
the promotion of good fellowship by the
concliatory medium of wholesome spir
It's aud good tobacco. 1t possessed =
secondary, or rather incidental, feature in
the shape of Provident Loan Fund, and
according to the BY laws of this fund all
members of the club who had proved
their general solvency by twelve regular
month Y payments Of one sovereign were
entitled to one lean of twenty -four
pounds to be repaid within six months
OF the date Of borrowing. This fund
was projected by Mr. Tom Poulton, who
proved by statistics that, taking the gen
eral population of Grea: Britain and Ire
land. Including women and children, and
excluding all members of the House of
Peers and al! registered paupers. only
one person in four lived beyond his an
nual income; or. in other words, only
one person in four had occasion to Dor.
row money to meet his yearly expendi-
ture. Assuming that these statistics
were applicable to so mauy members of
the Serious Family as elected to become
subscribers to the projected Provident
Loan Fund, it followed that for every
four annual subscriptions of twsIyts4 ,ppee4Bds
pounds would be applied for, leaving a
clear annual balance Of twenty-four other
pounds in the funds favor. But Mr..
Tom Poulton did not close his eyes to
the possibility that statistics which held
good when applied to thirty five million
people, including women and children.
might stand in need of some modlfica
ton before they became applicable 10 an
exceptional gathering Of seventy or eighty
young or middle aged persons, among
whom were no women and no children.
He very fairly admitted the exceptional
character of the club, in the course of
his speech on the motion that tie fund
should be instituted; but he contended
that if as many rs one in three, instead
Of one in four, were to apply at the years
end for the loan of twenty four pounds,
the result would show clear balance of
fifty per cent. in favor of the projected
fund. He went on to show that if an
application from one in three resulted in
a profit of fifty per cent, an application
from one ir one and half would result
in a profit of twenty five per cent; or,
carrying the principle still further, an ap.
plication from one in three-qusrters
would result in profit of twelve and a
half per cent. from which an easv cal
culation would show that if every mem
Der Of the Loan Fund who had sub
scribed twelve pounds were to insist on
borrowing twenty four, the clear annual
profit in favor of the club would be fif
teen and five Fights per cent, and Mr..
Tom Poultou would undertake, in wri.
ting, to be responsible for the accuracy of
his calculation. 1t was Immediately pro
posed that this fund be forthwith institu-
ted, and the proposition carried by ac-
clamation. Mr. Tom Poul:on was i'm.
mediately elected chairman, treasurer,
secretary, and trustee of the fund, and
the whole club became subscribers to it.
Now this was enc of Mr.. Tom Poul-
tons practical jokes. Mr.. Tom Pou!ton
had, among other valuable gifts, keen
sense of humor, so keen, indeed, that il
was in no degree blunted if the joke
turned against himself. Most of Mr..
Tom Poulton's practical jokes turned
against himself, and the particular joke
that Mr.. Tom Poulton perpetrated in con
nection with the Serious Family Provi
dent Loan Fund proved especially disas
trous to Mr.. Tom Poulton, and, in The
long run. especially beneficial to his in
tended victims, the subscribers 10 thu
fund.
As the year drew towards its close
and as all the twelve pound subscriber
to the fund intima;ed their intention o
Supplying for loans of twenty four pound
apiece (leaving a clear annual balance Q
fifteen and five Fights per cent in favo
of the fund, according to Tom Poulton'
own showing), Tom Poulton began t
cast about for another joke that shout
have the effect of ecipsing, by the rich
ness of its humor, the humor of th
fund Joke, and Of ohiterating, by til
force of its agreeable denouement, all re'
objection of the disappointment th'
would be occasioned by the denouenae'
Q of the fund joke.
One morning Mr.. Tom Poulton Gale
upon Mr.. Richard Harris, the secretaI
of The Serious Family. Me-. Harris vi
the chosen abettor of Mr.. Poulton's lit
jokes. lie also acted the part of Trs