Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1871-07-13

A man died at st Louis recently and
in his will, after stating that he never
forgot favor, left 81, 900 to an indi-
vidual who ten years before ran away
with his wife.
A lad in Hartford, whose fifth birth
day occurred last week, asked his pa
rents if school would keep open that
day, adding. "They didn't on Wash
ington's birthday"
"This world is all feetfng show"
said priest to a culprit on the gallows.
"Yes," was the prompt reply, "but if
you have no objections I'd like to see
the show little longer"
A young lady at Richmond CON-
menced crying the third of last month,
and has not stopped yet; and her ia
thor says she won't get any two shil-
lings out of him to buy a hustle.
A ten years old miss told her mother
the other day that she was never going
to marry, but meant to be widow be
cause widows dressed in such nice black
and always looked so happy.
There is an intelligent dog at Mud
Pine, Ind, so sharp that whenever
company comes to the house he pro-
ceeds at once to catch chicken, a
thing he will not do at any other time.
They have pleasant way of chron-
icling 4 very common event out West
now a-days. Thus mir. Jim Clemen-
ton, equine abductor, of Minnesota, was
lately the victim of neck-tie So
ciable." -r
The Connecticut papers are teIlingof
a Sunday School boy who, being asked
who made the beautiful hills about there
replied that he did not know, as his pa
rents only moved into town the Friday
before.
"John" said master to his appren-
tice, as he was about starting on a
journey, ''you must occupy my place
while m absent" ''Thaak You, sir"
replied John; "I'd rather sleep with
the boys"
A young man wants to know what
business he had better go into that
win enable him to occupy a high posi-
ton in society. Let him try the roof
ing business-in that trade smart
man will soon get to the top of the
: ladder.
l. II
: is the father of twenty four daughters.
What lucky thing it is for him that
he can't see the carryings-on of those
twenty-four girls. 1t would discour-
age him from trying to raise family!
A school committee in a frontier
: district are reported to have summed
up their opinion of an examination
, which they had attended by making to
= the pupils this address: you've spell
ed well, you've ciphered well, but you
haint sot still.''
4 A rogue was once begging charity
!. on pretence of being dumb. A lady
: having asked him with equal simplicity,
S how long he had been dumb, he was
d thrown off his guard and replied /:
0 seFrom birth, madam - 'sPoor fellow
It said the lady, and gave him shilling.
u The following notice was posted on
{ a large box which passed over one of
u the great through lines of railroad q
e few days since Baggage smashers are
y requested to handle this box with care,
? as it contains nitrglycerine, Greek fire,
IL gun cotton, and two live gorillas y
The box was reverently handled.
q The Lord Chief Justice has very
4 properly decided that horse race is
II not game of chance. The whole
thing is a mathematical certainty; the
horse that is able to lay his feet down
farhest apart in the shortest time wins
the race, if his wind holds out and he
istn't jockeyed. 1t is pure science.
o A ladys husband being away from
= home, died while absent One of the
y neighbors being requested to inform
her of her husbands death, found heI
at dinner, and when he informed her
? of the death she requested the neighboT
- to wait until she had finished her din
2 ner, when he would hear some baWl'
y ing.
o Who was it that said croquet was an
n innocent amusement Two little boys
l. were playing at 1T at Moline, Ills, when
IL they got into little argument, aud one
b. of the mallets vent off, though neither
" of them knew it was loaded, and smash.
a ed in the top of the head of the one
4 that was under the place where it lit
r. Tney buried him at eventide.
a Henry Pead is the fastidious edi
7e tor of the Martin County Herald. Up
10 on a late electioneering tour he slept
al at farm house, with two others il
o1 the same bed, and the next morning
IS the lady of the house inquired how
IN they slept First rate" answered
IS one, 81 slept behind, B:II slept before
IS and Henry Pead in the middle" ssDit
OF hep" exclaimed the old lady.
IN IA Kansas billiard table is thus de
,v sclibed ''First, in the middle of the
II floor was a large goods box, on which
was laid about wagon load of sand
stone, covered with about eight yards
of blue jeans. For pockets they ha6
d. old boots, about No. 10; for cues they
used old broken hoe handles; boild
" eggs for balls, and to cout this lovely
lie : game they used dried apples on s
y clothes line
in Dan Marble, strolling along the
k. wharves at Boston, met a tall, gaun
er looking figure, "digger" from Cali
D. fornia, and got into conversation witt
is him.
m Healthy climate, suppose 2''
S. Healthy it isn't anything else.-
be Why, stranger, you can choose ther'
. any climate you like, hot or cold. anC
that without traveln' more than f1fteer
minutes. Jest think o. that the cole
mornin' when you get out o. bed