davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01
Jlae Albaap gegister.
Letter from Siunchausen.

A wArEk. SPOUT - DEPARTURE FROM
URIGUAY-AN UNUSUAL PASSAGE TO
CHILL
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01

The second agricultural fair ever held
in Rome has just taken place with graf
flying success Modern farm tools were
seen there for the first time, and the sur
prise and wonder of the calnpagne farmers
was something painful as well as inter-
estine. Woods reaper and mower made
its formidable appearance. Some modern
English farm tools had been presented to
the Pope, but were carefully slowed away
as objects of curiosity in one of the
museums, instead of their being used
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01
AGENTS WANTED

We want first class and responsible Agents in
eycfy rtg and town where we have not already ap-
pointed them A
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01

EC&S sjA.<G,
Our Drug sSrsincSs located in San Fran
ciseo t;.tl. After Cur hest wishes, and express
ing thanks for the liberal patronage
W. have rceei, cd for mera than twenty-on
years, during which period have been steadily
en.a gel in the Drng business in Galifurnia, we
be-, to say Ia conse tuenrc Of the rapid growth Of
Dr.. Walker California Vinegar iittegs, now
spread over tbs Unite. States aad countries far
beyond, We are necessitated to devote entire
time said business.
We are the oi,iesi Drug fra en- the Pacific
Coast anl the oaiy oie. continuous under the
same propriesorz since lSis and have Determine
sei iar.e, prosperous and well established
business "a favorable terms
This is rare opportunity for men with means,
Of entering iato profitable business with adyan-
tagus never before offered.
For particulars onquirc OF
II. II. MCDONALD Il CO..
r. H. McDoxAtp. Wholesale Druggists.
j. c. SRExcEn. San Francisco. cal.
n B. Until q sale is r.asIc we shall continue
eur inpoctations aud keep large stock of fresh
goods cons;antfy hand, and sell at prices to
defv competition.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01
A Fighting Man.


One OF the generals of the .Lost
Cause" says, at the time of the attack
upon Fort Pillow, the Confederates had
tonclad, the mate of which was a big,
double iSted sample of river bully,
..iuil of strange oatls," aud enforcing
his orders by knocking men about the
head, and said s:
just before we came into the fight he
came staggering up to me and said
well, General, suppose when one
side or the others licked, you big men II
quit and shake hands 2"
'.Yes, Jim" said |, "when the fights
ing is ever, expect every man to go
home and attend to his business"
THAT amt me" Jim said, smiling his
left palm with his fist like sledge ham
mer, s-for if ever ketch Yank south of
Cairo, I'm going to smash him."
A ten inch shell that came whistling
over the boat interrupted any further
remarks just then, and shortly after We
were putting away at the Federal boat in
about as hot FIRE as ever want to see.
| am sure that there were one hundred
guns opened upon us, and We got one
broadside so near that the fash of their
guns set our cotton bales on fire. Our
people fought well; the other side were
too strong for us, and we had TO drop
down the river. During the action,
while cannons were roaring, boats sink
ing, shells shrieking and bursting all
around and the air filled with flame and
smoke, quite lost sight of Jim; and
after we had dropped down the river, out
Of the FIRE and all hands repairing DANA.
ges, that valiant hero crept cut from
behind cotton bale, and sneaking past
me with flag of truce, said i
"General, | amt SO mad as | was.
This amt the kind of fighting I'm used
to; and when them fcllers get ready to
stop THROWN them iron pots around, I'll
quit if they vii"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01
Read TE,e Following:

II affords much plearrc to give you, in these'
iew Inns, very sincere ties smoniai for the Piano
Fortes of your manufacture. We have now used
the Patent Arion Pianos in orr Conservatives
for year, and hare bad fair opportunity of test
ing their durability during that time. The Pianos
have been played upon almost constantly, from
morning till night, and Piano must indeed be .
good enc wbcn it will bear such constant with
out showing signs Of detection. As for re.otsfrg
an tune it out rivals any Piano known to me. q
Their peculiar sweetness of tone IN the treble,
tas compared to other Pianos with the ordinary
metal agrafTe arrangement is striking that
have had pupils remark, while taking theiricssops
that although they had home what they SUPP
pused ia be of the best makes of Pianos. stiff
tie treble very wirey toned compared withrth
..ARIoN."
Wha. makes them still more desirable is their
uniform volume Of t"nc, which enables Artist to
perform composition in is true character.
In total. can conseientiousy endorse ail that is
elapisd by the Arion Piano Forte Company for
their superb ins ns'rrmcnts, as consider them SUI
pariur 10 any .ther make.
Coaerats.iatilg yen upon the great success you
ave obtaoca in the rnannfactnre oi so perfect an
instrument, remain yours,
Very truly,
HENRY SCHROEDER,
Director,
New York, September 3, 1870. sfse
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1871-07-01

lLI-IIEAD PAPER, all sizes. just received
D and for sale at ibis ofiee, low for cash.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

The bed of the Mississippi river
seems to be filing up at a rate which
threatens in the course Of time to seri-
olsly injure navigation during the dry
season. ThisyearatSt Louis, while the
surface Of the water has been four feet
and one inch above the lowest stage
Of water attained by the river in 1868,
there was at the same time only about
five inches difference in the depth Of
the channel between these years, show
ing that the bottom Of the river must
he three feet and four inches higher
than it was in 1868. So in 1853 the
bed cf the river was found to be two
feet and three inches higher than it
was ten years previous.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

We are reminded Of that bright lit
to boy-and he was the son Of cler-
gyman, too, whose parent wishing
to inculoate useful lesson, gave him
two dve-cent pieces, and, laying them
on the table, asked him what he would
do with them. Putting his finger on
one, he said: "This one I am going
to give to the heather, and the other
| am going to keep myself" After
playing with them awhile, one OF them
rolled away, and he could not find it.
"WeIl, my hoy" said the father,
(Which one have you lost}' ooh" :aid
he, 81 have lost the one l was going
to give to the hoathen."
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

The Chicago Times d few days since
contained tais notice: 'An ambitious
photographer ON yesterday hunted Up
the old hae in whose barn the fire is
supposed by some to have started.
She asked him s2J for sitting for her
picture, So, with commoulable eo0no-
my, he found another woman who was
wiuin. to let him do it for s., and he
at once took her photo. It is suppos-
ed he will offer the picture for sale
with this inscription: "This is the
woman ala foreIorn, who MIXED the
COW with the crumpled horn, that
kicked the lamp that fired the hay that
burned tie town that Long John
built
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22
A novel experiment Of brinoinr Z

A novel experiment Of bringing q
drowned corpse to the surface was sue
cesstdlly tried in the case of the boy
who was drowned in Pen Horn creek,
New jersey, while bathing. Two Can.
adams, seeing the men dragging the
creek for the body, approached, and
thought they would try an experiment.
Accordingly, = number Of bottles were
filed with quick lime, tightly corked,
and'thrown into thecreek. In about an
hour, enc Of the bottles burst with a
great noise, and soon the body rose.
The Canadians could not explain the
theory further than by saying that
when bottle floats directly over a
corpse, it will explode, and the body
will aria,.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

An old army officer wao has spent
much Of his time in the West, repre-
sents that the climate of Dakotah or
Montana is more genial than even
that Of Kansas. There is not so
much snow, the temperature Is not so
changaablo, and the winters are not as
long. Horses and cattle are allowed
to run all winter, and the grass that
abounds "put them in such condition
by spring that the horses are hard
and fitted for any service, and the
cattle are unsurpassed for killing"
lie considers the Territories Of Idaho
and Montana, and thence westward e,
absolutely the garden spot Of Amer
lea"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

The Washington Patriot of late
date says; "Col. VI. LaRue Harrison,
special agent of the postofice depart,
mont for Arkansas has been detailed
for special duty, in connection with the
monoy.order system, under direction
Of the superintendent His headquar-
ters will be at Memphis, and his duties
viii consist OF the inspection and exam
ination Of the money-order Offices Of
the southern states"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

The Washington Patriot pertinsntly
remarks; "Ihe alleged ku klux cut
RACES, for which the state government
Of South Carolina has i-,n set
aside, are those Of 1867 and 1865.
Until the administration found it nee
ossary to resort to some new subtor.
fuge to strengthen its declining popu-
lrity, nobody heard or dreamed Of
any outrage in the south, or disorder
exceeding that Of the average northern
states, A glance at the testimony
discloscs the fact that tho Ku kluX
committee are reproducing the old,
storeotyped outragcs that have been
SO indusuiously circulated in election
campaigns for the last four years."
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

INIoRTALITY.-Iiow beautiful the
following gem from the pen of the late
George d. Prentice, and how happy
Che heart that can see these beauties as
he portrays them:
why is it that the rain and the
cloud come over us with a beauty that
is no, Of earth, and then pass away,
and leave rs to muse on their faded
loyelincss? Why is it that the stars
which hold thoirnightly festival around
.Ae Aemilnightthroncareqla placed above the
reach OF our limited faculties, forever
mocsiug US with their unapproachablc
glory: And why i it that bright forms
Of human beauty are presented to our
view, and then taken from us, leaving
the thousand streams Of affection 10
Aow back in Alpine torrents upon our
hearts! We are born to a higher des-
tiny than that Of earth. There is a
realm whore the rainbow never fades
where the stars viii be set out before
us Ike islands that slumber on the
ocean, and where the beautiful being
that passes before us like a meteor viii
stay in our presence foL--.l--. 49,
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22
THE LIFE.CLOCK.

Thera "a little NV
NJ ,ic clock
'uman eye uath seen
lhat Dcateth on AMI beata,h on
From morning until cen,
Anl whom the soal is wrapped in sleep,
All silent and alone,
1t ticks and ticks the live-loug night,
And never ruungth down.
Oh wondrous is that work Of art,
Which kneIls the passing hour
Bat art meier formed, nor mind conceive,
The Lile-clock's magic power.
Not set in goli, nor dcchcl with gems
by wealth and pride poss. ssrl;
Bat rich OF poor, or high or low
Each bears it in Lis breast,
Such is the clock that measures ufc,
OF flesh and spirit blended;
Aud thgs twill run within the breast,
TIL that strange life is ended
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

We are informed by a gentleman of
this city, who had long conversation
with Secretary Newcomb, that the lat
ter says thrt Clak viii certainly re-
ceive the cetiicate and take his seat.
When Col Gildings contests it, the
programme i-+a4l---I-r the matter to a
e...m!,I.,'oe, cor! who, Ike good radicals
should do, willlet it sleep until after the
presidential election Mr.. Newcomb
also said that the only democrat who
would receive a certificate would be
Mr.. Conner, and that no action would
be taken with regard to the others.
This is about all that could be ex-
poctod from radicals who are afflicted
with a moral obliquy that prevents
them from acting honestly, if it would
save them from perdition.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

IT'S DA0K.-It is dark when the
honest and honorable man sces the
result Of years swept cruelty away by
the kuayish and heartlass adversary.
1t is dark when he feels the clouds Of
sorrow gathered around, and knows
that the hopes and happiness Of others
are fading with his own. But in that
hour the memory Of past integrity
will be q true consolation. and assure
him even here on earth Of a gleam of
light in heaven. It's dark when the
voice Of that sweet child, once fondly
loved, is no mere heard in murmers,
Dark when patteriug feet no more
rcsound without the threshold, or as
cond, step by step, the stairs. Dark
when some wcll-known air recalls the
strain once often atluucd to childish
voice now hushcd in death. Darkness
but only the gloom which now her,
aids the daysPring of Immortality and
the infinite light Of heaven.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

In one Of the Kansas towns q citizen
had rendered himself obnoxious to the
rest Of the community, so he was placed
in the hands Of ayigileuce committee
for treatment. The chairman Of the
committee made the following report
owe took the thief down to the river.
made a hole in the ice and proceeded
to duck him: but he slipped through
our hands and hid under the ice. An
our Efforts 10 entioe him out failed, and
he has now retained his point Of alyan-
tago some hours"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22
4 man wants hnt lilLle here below

4 man wants but little here below
nor wants that little long, i, a libel
man wants everything he can see or
here oy, and never is willing to let go
his grab, Whenever yu find = man
who is thoroughly satisfied with what
he has yu find either an idiot, or some
one who has tried to get more and
couldn't DO it. The older a man grows
the more watchful he becums-as his
hold on life slackens, his pinch on q
dollow grows grippy.-Josh BUngs
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

4 singular political feature has been
developed by the Chicago calamity.
The two parties have buried their ami f..
mosities in the ruins of their city, uni
ted-fused by the FIRE, so to speak
and agreed upon a common ticket,
with Joseph Medill, of the Tribune, as
he candidate for Mayor.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

It's related that when Beecher was
IN the country last summer he lost his
hat, and found it in about a week in a
barn where he had left ii, but with four
eggs in it. This is as it should be.
Beecher has just written eulogy on
the hen; why shouldn't the Hen re-
ward Beecher?
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

81 say Pompey," said one freedman
to another, "dis chile has tried lots OBJ
git fares and tiugs for a prize, but
nebber could draw anything all.
"Wol Cesar, Ia wise you to try a
haud-cagt, de chances are a t5usand TO
one dat you could draw dat
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

They were discussing masquerade
and endeavoring to select characters in
which they should 60. GLOW shall 1
go| said our ve.y tall and slender
friend William. "Chall, your head
and 90 as billiard cue," was the re.
sponse.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22
Hon BEN PURTLE GOT HIS
WIFE.

WIFE.
-he very e!so2xqfuLiaess vas !.3al
Purtle. lie was red haired, and every
hair stool as if it cherished the most
supreme contempt for its next neigh
bor. His face was frecklal as the most
bcspotted turkey egg; his nose sup,
ported at the bridge a huge bump,
while the end turned yiciously to one
side. His form was as uhcou,h as his
face was ugly; still, what was very
strange, he bad a most handsome
bouncing, blooming wife, such as can
only be grown up on country farm.
GLOW the deuce" said | to Ben one
day, did You ever get such a wife
You uncouth, misshapen, qniutesscnco
Of monstro,ity:' Ben was not at all
offended at the impnleuco Of my ques-
ton, and forthwith proceeded thus to
solve the mystery.
"No gals what's sensible amt
cotchod 10y your hirhfalutin airs, and
quality dres-in'. and cologne, I've seed
that tried more an once. You know
Kate was always called the very prot-
ticst girl in all these parts, and all the
young fellows tried TO cotch her. ]
used to 60 over to oil Uncle samml's
Just to look on, You know, and cast
sleeps eyes at Kate; but, lord sakes,
! had no more idea that | could get
Kate than that a Jerusalem cricket
could hide in the hair ON old sammy
bald head. My ear, would burn, and
my heart would kind O Autter when.
ever rd go to talk to Kate. One day
when Kate sort % made fun Of me
like, it almost killed me, sure, l went
home with something like a rock jost,
ling arourd in my breast, and sworo
I'll hang myself with the first plough
line | found"
"Dil YOU hang yoursclf?' asked.
40. Daddy blazad off at me for
not taking old Billy to the pasture in
the morning, and scared me so bad l
forgot all about it,
"Go on" said !, seeing Ben pause
with apparent regret that he had not
executed his VOW. "Wcll, one Sum
day morning, I reckon about a year
after the hanging scrape, got up and
scrapod my face with daddy's old razor
and put on my new linsey coat and
coppcras britches, mamma had dyed
with sasafas bark, and other fXon5 and
went over to old Uncle Sammy's.
Now, | had got to loving Kate by this
time like all creation, but I'd never told
anybody about my feeling. Well,
when l got there | found that Joe
Sharp and his two sisters were there,
and that the order of the day was to go
muscadine hunting. Joe Sharp was
flying round-'Miss Kate this, and
Miss Kate 'tother-by and by we
came to a nasty black, muddy slough
that we had to cross on a log, and
nothing would do but that Joe Sharp
must lead Kate across. They go.
about half way when in went tarua-
ton big bull frog, and in went Kate to
her waist in the nasty, black, muddy
slough. Joe run backwards and for
wards on the log following for Il pole
to help her out, / was in there and
had her out in less than no time. Joe
Sharp came up and says, Miss Kate,
are you hurt? My dander was up and
couldn't stand it. Iiust caught him
by the seat of his white trousers and
the back Of his coat collar and gave him
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

"Now, then, children, said parish
schoolmistress, showing her pupils off
on examination day, "Who loves ali
men?" ''You, missus," was the drex-
pected answer.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

"it IS strange" muttered young
man, as he staggered home from a
supper party, chow evil commupica-
tions corrupt good manners. l have
been surrounded by tumblers all even
ing, and now l am C. tumblcr myself"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

A sexton being very familiar with
a physician, was asked whether he
had entered into partnership with him.
"Oh, yes, " said he, we've been together
for some time; l always carry the doc
tors work home when it is DONE"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

A Michigan school committee re-
Gently reported that the excessive pun
ishment of a lad was not aciuated by
malice, but occasioned by IN "unduo
appreciation of the thickness of the
boys pantaloons.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

A young lady in Richmond com.
menced crying on the Sd Of last month,
and has not stopped yet; her father
says she can howl for ever, but she'll
get no 80 cents out of hin to buy a
hustle.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

A grass widow in "York State" has
sued for divorce, alleging marriage
under false pretence as a ground io- i'll
Shades of courtship! Does she suppose
there was ever a marriage Of any other
sort?
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

A local poet indicted a sonnet to his
mistress, entitled, 81 kiss her sub rosa
Tho compositor knew better than that,
and set it uP in printers latin, II
kissed her snub nosa."
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

" t'S. May be he didn't go clear
under when he struck the water. |
didn't wait to see him out. Me and
Kate struck right for the house. BY
and by Kate says, Ben, just LET ne
hold on to your arm; my knees feel
sort o weak l made a tremendous
effort to say something nice, but cuss
the luck, l couldn't get my mouth of,
no how. But felt as strong as a
elephant, and helped Kate along. By
and by Kate says, Ben, that Joe
Sharp i, a good for nothing, sueakiAg,
cowardly, nobody, and if he puts his
head into our house again, I'll souse
him with dish water, sure. 1 made
another tremendous effort TO get my
mouth Oft, bat, cuss the luck, nothing
could | say. by and by Kate says,
Ben, ! feel that You ac my protector
and ! believe daddy's alou, tight when
be ays You are worth all the boys in
the noighborhood.' Imaiea uemaal.
ous effort to get my mouth of and out
gaggsd sure cno,gh. sa.ii, kate.
you a,c go.sS have ne, just say
so, snaightupaud down. EJ'@IG.WG
say anything, but hung down her head
and kinder sighed. l felt encouraged;
said ], Kate if are you going to have
me just squeeze my hand and she
sluole it, right straight. Great gee,
m5ny, how ! did feel. / felt like a
stream of warm sasafras tea, swoetoned
with mo!asses, was running through
my bones. co'chcd her around the
neck and kissed her square on the
mouth, and she never uied the first
time 10 get loose.
Oll sammy was mighty Wei pleased
about the thing and so was the old
woman, and We got married the next
fall after the muscadiue -crapc.'
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

ave know girl" says some one.
$50 soindustrious, that when she has moth
ing else to do she sits and knits her
brow"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

Suppose feller what has nothn',
marries a gal what has nothin, is her
h!s'n, or his'n her'n, or is his a and her'n
his'n?
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

An unsuccessful lover was asked
by what means he lost his divinity.
"Alas" he cried, 81 Aatterod her
until she got too proud to speak to
me-"
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

The Galveston Naes gives a little
further insight into the rascalitios
proposed by Gov. Davis, of Texas.
ltsays:
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

when is soup likely to run out of
4 sauce pan?-Wen there is leak
10 il.
The Weekly Washington telegraph., 1871-11-22

WboeIs 60 best when they are
thorough tired.