Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1871-12-07
A vein rurssit--Minipr,

| der.
A sad dog ono who tarrics long ~
his whine.
How old is ship when she II q.
her anchorage?
Guilty oirevolu,.onary movements
Organ grinders.
There is a man doing business in
| Chicago whose namc is G. Nobody.
| a Legitimate inf.rencc-That =
dentists .tFicc is 4 drawingroom.
What is that which no one wishes
to have and no one wishes TO lose!
"A bald head.
\ boy who undertook to ride a
horse radlsh IL now practicing on a
saddle Of mutton.
"Ill give you the slip" as tho gar
! aencr said when he promised Il lend
emitting.
George Sand has written new
novel, entitled the Rolling Stone"
| Il is Sands Stone.
| An Orgon toast over a glass OF the
| ar.lent:-"ife ere's what m axe ,us wear
old Clothes"
II a man loses his breath, ii ia of
| no nse 10 run for it, HS can catch it
! quicker hy standing still.
"a lady was lately hugged to
death in Minncsota" illus
tration Of the power Of the press
The man who was hemmed in by
a crowd has been troubled with a
stitch in his side ever since.
A Frenchman said of S!iakspere.
Ven you find any zing You no under.
stan, i, is always somezing fine
+" Bangorillas'' is the name a
Southern paper applies to the nhabi-
,an:s of certain city in Maine.
Why is man never knocked
down against lis will? Because it is
impossible to fail unless inclined.
Why is a fast young lady like a
steamboat? Because she never goes
ahs al without II swell after her.
Hail s;rcet-car in bad weather,
and il will stop to aid you; but hail
friend IN your adversely, and see
what notice he will take OF you.
An ill-natured contemporary says
that Rhode Island goes for narrow
gacue railroads because she wants
both rails to lie within her territory.
Little Dicks mother asked HIM
/ what kind Of nuts she should buy
for him. "Doughnuts, mama, mo
can cack with my tooths.'
A certain attorney, who was re-
markabIe for coming into court
with dirty hands, observed that he
had been turning over Coke" Coke!
= exclaimed waggish brother: Il
should think it was coal, by the looks
Of fyonr hands"
A very modest young lady, who
was passenger on board a packet
ship, it is said, sprang ont OF her
birth and jumped overheard, on
hearing the captain, during storm,
order the mate to haul down the
sheets.
| Whisky distilled from Canada
thistles is said to produce penetra.
ting and exhilarating effect. Mules
like ,histles; some men like whisky.
Is there, then, a Darwinian resem-
dance between the two animals.
Give me pound OF oysters
said man to an oyster vendor who
was going BY. II sell by measure
not by weight. said the oysterman.
Then give me yard OF them,'
SAID the man. The oysterman shook
hir head dublos.slv and passed on.
Rev. Dr.-goes IN tor elegance
OF paraphrase. In ringing changes
upon ''He that hath ears TO hear, let
him hear" he did fine thing last
Sunday. "He that is accessible to au-
ricnlar vibration, let Linn not close
the gates OF his tympani,'. SAID the
/ doctor.
A Norwich man is very angry
with his wife. He bought IN india
rubber air bel. She didn't delieve
it was healthy to sleep -ona mattress
that was not ventilated, and so. dn-
ring his absence, punched about fifty
holes in it.. That husband has lost
his faith in woman's ingenuity.
Some ingenious Yank bas invent
ed process by which maple-sngar
| can be made out OF common New
Orleans molasses, tiavoring it by
steaming maple wood. The next
thing we are looking for is process
whereby they will make honey from
cod liver oil. tiav oring it with bees
| wax.
A .oll, Jack tar, having strayesl
into show at far to have look
at the wild beasts, was much struck
with the sight of lion anl tiger in
the same den. "Why, Jack" said he
to a messmate, who was chewing
qnid in silence, Il should mt wonder
it next year they were 10 carry about
a sailor and marine living peaoeabiy
together "Ay," said His married
companion, 'or man and his wife,.
In one of his plays Addison
makes an undertaken upbraid amutc
who had laughed at funeral; 'Yon
rascal, on, Ihave been raising your
wages for the last two years on con.
dition that Won appear more sorrow
tu'; and the higher wages you receive,
the happier you look"
AT a so-called spiritual sitting in
Hartford recently there was present
woman who mourned the loss OF
her consort, and, as The manifestation
began to appear, the spirit OF the de-
parted Benedict entered upon the
scene. or course tho widow was