davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
Billings, Advice to Joe,

By awl means Joe, git married, II you
gita fair show. Don't stand shiyariu on
the bank, but pitch in aud stick yure
head under aud the shiver Is over. Tharo
amt my moro trick in gittiu married afs
tor yurc rcdy than tharo is In eatin pos.
nuts. Menny a msn has stood ahiveriu on
the shore till tho river awl run out. Don't
expect tu marry an angel, them hav aWl
bin picked up long ago. Remember, Joe,
yu amt 2 saint yulcseli. Do not marry
for buty exclusively; buty is like ice, awr
fulslippcry and .haws drcaful easy. Don't
marry for luv neither; luv Is like o cooking
stove, good for uuthiu when tho fuel gives
out. But marry q mixture. And let tha
mixture DO some buty bccominly dressed,
with about $3.50 in her pocket, . good
spcller, handy and neat in tho house.
plenty Of good sense. tuf constitution
and bi laws, smallfe feet, alittlo stopper; add
to this sound teeth and o warm heart
This mixture will keep in emmy climate
and not cvapornte. II tho cork happens 10
bo left oiItwoo or three minutes the strength.
ain'tall gone. Joe, For hoavcn's sake
don't marry for pedigree. Thare aIn'l
much in pedigree unless il is backed BY
bank stocks A family with uolhlu but
pcdigroo generally lack scuco,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

EATING TOO FAST Eating too fast gen.
orally involves eating too much-morc
than is needed for the support and nutri.
tion ofthc body-and the reason for this
is, that the organs Of taste, which are our
guide in this matter, are not allowed suf.
acient voice; they are not allowed time to
take cosuizauce Of the presence Of food ere
it is pushed past them into the recesses Of
the stomach. They -aosspsl,-. -.harsfs.s.
'ilave an opportunity tO represent the real
needs Of tho system, and crowding OF tic
stomach. | hold that thirty minutes
should be spent at each meal, and spent,
too, in chewing the food good portion Of
the time, and not in continued putting in
and swallowing, but in pleasant chat and
laugh, instead of the continuance Of the
intense nervous pressure Of the Office or
the library. If you lay out TO spend
thirty minutes in this way at your meals,
you may rest assured you will not eat too
much, and what you do cat will be in tho
best condition for appropriation to the
needs Of your system. You will be health.
ier in body, happier in mind and more
vigorous Of brain-lor there are few things
that 80 clog the brain as meal of half
eaten food put into the stomach. Dr.. j.
II. Jackson,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

That was beautiful idea in tho mind Of
little girl, who, on beholding roscbush
where, on the topmost stem, the Oldest rose
was fading. while below, and around it,
three crimson buds we're Just unfolding
their charms, at once, and artlcssly ex-
claimed to her brother, "Sec! Willie, these
little buds have just awakened in time to
kiss their old mother before she. dos"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
Cats Stuck in Concrete, and what Re.
suited from It.

suited from 1t.
Down in Tuckahoe there is q man
named Simpson, who has fat roof on his
house covered with tin. The roof got to
leaking badly during the hot weather, and
it happened to occur to Mr.. Simpson that
itwculd be good idea to cover the whole
surface With the material Of which concrete
pavemeuts are made, $50 as to mako her
all tight and nice" said Simpson, A man
was accordingly engaged, and he covered
the tin with concrete to the depth Of three
inches. Tho curse Of Tuckahoc is cats, =
In warm weather millions Of them assem-
Die and hold ratification meetings aud re-
hearsals aud general synods out in the
back yards and on the roofs. In Tucka-
hoe last July the heat was unusually in
tense, and Mr.. Simpson was exceedingly
annoyed by the animated discussions Of the
cats in bis ncighborhood The more he
'shcwcd" them and flung old boots at
them, the more hc yelled. Night after
night it continued to grow more terrific,
and day after day Mrs. Simpson observed
that the mysterious catcrwauliug continued
during all the hours Of daylight. Simp.
son hadn't a boot.jack, or a blacking brush,
or a rolling pin, Or cologne bottle left to
throw at them. AT last, one morning
night the uproar got to bc so outrageous
that Simpson arose from his bed and de-
termined to ascertain what in the thunder
all this growing meant anyhow. 1t ap-
peured that the noise came from the house.
lie went up into tue garret and put bis
head out Of the trap door. There be
found one hundred and nincly-six cats
stuck fast knOo.lccp, in the concrete,
whIuh had been softened by the heat
Some Of fthem lad been there for four days
The moment they caughtsigAt Of Simpson,
the whole one hundred and ninety.six catt
doubled up their spiucs, rnflcd their back
hair, sbakcd their tails, and gayo one
wild, uucarthly howl, which shocked
Simpsons nerves so much that bo dropped
the trap door and foil down tho step. ladder
on the head of Mrs. Simpson, who wal
s.salips bcluuy yllssss.i luz ming Wisssi
frill on, and armed with palm.lcaf fal
and a bed.slat, determined to protpc
Simpson to death. The next day the con
crete was removed and the cats were dur
ont. But you ought to havo been present
Then Simpson interviewed the concrete
man! There we're only four rounds, and
then Simpson got up off the mans pros
trato body In order to let him 60 out and
hunt for some good hair restorative and
put a fresh oyster on lis eye.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

"Do you chew tobacco asked q lady,
bcsitatiug to sit down by gentleman in a
car. "No ma'am, ! don't" he replied;
but guess | can get you chaw if you
want one"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

The cholOra is reported to be rsgIug
terribly in Persia. The pestilenoe has fol.
lowed frightful famine, and hcuosit
may bc hoped that It owos its origin to
local causes. and is not on q march % in
1881, lS4s aud 1865 to desolate yeav
later tho homes Of Europe and America,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

SroRY OF AN lush ADVOCATE. He
would 60 on speaking after the learned
judge had cautioned him to desist, till Of
last bis irritatcd Lordship cried: "Sir,
It's no use speaking; what you say to me
goes in one car and out Of the other"
The advocate would not be silenced.
"My lord" be said, sits no wonder,
when there's nothing between 'cm TO stop
il"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

"Don't you think my son resembles
mc?' asked an apothcOary, as he intro
duced his greasy faced boy to the witty
DR.. H. yes" think | see your llui-
mcnts in bis countonauce."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
N q r n IFS.
SELRE HOUSE.
PolSr PLEASANT, WEST Va.
JOHN r. SELBE, Proprietor.

THIS House has recently been renovated, and
L newly painted aud papered. and furnish.
ed with new furniture. tits within easy access
of the steamboat landing, and being situated
in the business part Of the town, affords every
convenience to soiourncs. stablng and the
best attention to herscs furnished. The pat.
ronagc Of The travelling public and of the citi
Gems is respectfully solicited. Charges mod
crate March 9.ly
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

The epitaph Of most men might readI
"He was born, be toiled and worried foy
food, clothing and equipage, he tried to
tiud the phantom happiness She died,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A Georgia man who left bis family
thirty.oight years ago and went to Cali.
foruia, returned last week aud found bis
wife still faithful to liM.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A remarkable family lives 10 Dallas
county, Arkansas. Tho father is lOs years
old, the mother lO6 and the two arc tho
parents Of tweu,y-uiue children fifteen
boys and fourteen girls.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A negroiu Bridgeport. Connecticut, AZ
rested for adultery. was asked what bo vsg
takon up for aud he believed It was idp,
latry."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
The Almighty Dollar,


Brother Smith, what does this mcan?'
bringing aniggcr to this church."
'Thc pew is my own"
Your own Is that any reason why you
should insult the congregational"
"Rut he is intelligent and well oduca
ted" ..... I. -, !. 4. !,
.".Who Cares c. ior'sbsts lIc d d niger
"But he is a friend Of mine"
"What Of that? Must you therefore in
suit tho whole congregation
"But ho ;sa Christian aud belongs to th'
samo denomination"
"What do | care for that? Let him n
aud worship with bis fellow-niggcrs."
"But he Is worth Gvo million dollars >
said the merchant.
"Worth wbat7"
olive million dollars"
"Worth five million dollars! Jerusalem!
Brother Smith, introduce NO."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A church in Iowa has expelled adeacea
for attending a base ball matph.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

Enthusiastic maidop-"Oh, Nj. Lo,
veil, I'd sooner bo a violinist than any,
thing in the world, Wouldn't youa"
Modest youth-"Well il you woro the
violinist, think l'd-a-sooucr bc Tho
violin"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10


A Hartford man was taken sick q few dsy,
ago. His physician said it was . case of
tho measles, and gave him medicine. Tho
next day, dissatisfied, ho sent for docto,
number two. Ho said II was typhoid foycp
and gave him medicine. The third day,
still discouteuted, ho called Doctor numbep
threo. lie scut him to tho hospital, do,
elaring il was case Of smallpox. Ia
shr0e days he was out, hunting for ! low.
yer who would bring suit for damages q,
gainst somebody, because it was only M
attack Of crysipelas,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A great increase 10 the order Of Free.
masons has been shown lately in this coun-
try, by the multiplication Of lodges and tho
erection Of new Masonic buildings. A
census Of the order, just taken, shows that
this increase is real one. Over 10000
new members have been initiated during
the past year, tho entire number now
reaching nearly 100000. Tho reason Of
this prosperity lies probably, as much as
10 anything else, In the social attractions
Of Masonry. The lodge supplies tho place
OF q club to its members, and the enter.
tainmcpt it affords is On acceptable relief
to men wearcd with tho caros Of business,
To this are added the more substantial ben
eGts Of mutual assistance in distress, for
which tho order is celebrated, so that the
wonder is rather tha. it docs not increase
faster than it does.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A young Pennsylvania who made or.
rsnscmcuts to marry against the wishes Of
some Of his relatives, was last week taken
from his bed at dead Of night by masked
men, carried to the woods, and being tied
to trOc naked, was beaten with heavy
whips until nearly dead. Two Of the per.
petrators Of the outrage have been ar
rested.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

Tue man who goes to church every Sun,
day, and yet tromblos before chance, is O.
Christian only because Christ has claimed
him, i uota Christian as having boliey.
cd in him. | would not bo hard. There
ore so many degrees in faith! A man my
DO on the right track, may bo learning of
Christ, and hc very poor and weak. But
| say there Is no standiug-room, no reality
Of reasou, between absolute faith aud ab,
soluto uuboliof. Either not . sparrow
falls to the ground without him, OF there
is no God, and wo orc ia,horlcss children.
Those who attempt to live in such q limbo
Us lies between tho two aro only driven ui
tho wind and tossed. George Mcdonald,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10


A friend writes ma, II have thought q
great deal lately about .eakind ofpes.ing
That women demand uiat does DOT seem 10
me wholesome nor we'll. Even tho strong.
est women seem to require perpetual en-.
dorscmcnt or they orc troubled aud losa
heart. Can thoy rot bo stropg iu pur,
pose, faithful 10 cause, even though i
bring no kiss or commendslionY" ! doubt
il this demand is any greater in women
than in men, but can not both rise 10 tho
lovcl Of noblcr life, to sclf.suficing,
ness, that with God on one side and hu,
mauity on the other, they can live, not on.
'ly largely but joyfull.y, though lacking hu.
man recognition? Arc We SO poor that
each day must bring its penny or we pqr,
ishY-Ctlia Balcigh.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

Being Just one steamer ahead Of lcl
papa, q pretty little New Orleans girl man.
aged to get married. in spite Of bis pro.
tests. He camo up with hor just in time
to give her bis blessing, though bis phra.
seolOgy was ezccptionablc.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

Prentice says man was the chief pOudas
Grafton at the creation. Woman WAS only
q Eide issYe,"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10

A German friend ofours got bis daudcr
up the other day, upon tho arrival Of bis
second pair Of twins, and said to bis fami-
ly physician, "Ov you blccsc, doctor, it
ish better dat schtop bo boot to desc .dings.
Won pair dwius, | dinks, is allies recht, but
more as dat ish blaid owit, don't it? OATS
vot'S de matter nit NE. You know how
it ish myself"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
KLINE HOUSE.

(ncar the Steamboat Landing,l
POINT PLEASANT, WEST VIRGINIA
ARDEN, Proprietor.
fNINS well known house having been thor
| oughly repaired and refurnished through
out, is nov open for the accommodation Of The
travelling public.
I'M There is connected with this House
H1S. a Arst.class livery and feed stable,
which Is we'll supplied with buggies and hor.
ses,
COAL! COAL!! COAL!!!
The undersigned, having opened Coal
Yard in Point Pleasant, is now prepared to
deliver coal in large or small quantities 10 all
desiring it.
UParticular attention paid to orders up the
Kanawha or down the Ohio rivers.
Office at the Kline House.
aug, 26-ly. A.. P. DEEM.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1871-08-10
Had Him There.

II isycry often the case that parents and
children do not agree on aqucs'ion ofmar-
riage. This popularity (if be ouc) was
illustrated few days since in one Of our
uptown families. The young lady was
receiving the addresses Of a gentleman
much against her fathers inclination. lie
stamped and swore and letoturcd nccssant.
ly; but to no good. The swain still ca,ue q
wooing, and the preparations for the mar
riagc went steadily on. In tue excess Of
his Impotence the father exclaimed;
81 can't imagine what you silly women
want to marry for"
my mother got married" replied the
daughter, archly.
"The more fool shc," blurtcd out the
lutcmpcratc parent
Indeed p
eyes"
"You know how it is yourself, SIR" ro.
piled the lady swcctly,
"Ye, and you'll find out, was tho con.
s0liug rejOinder. .-Mp Orleans Picayu,e.
An audacious criminal is under arrest in
Cleveland, He is ten years old, and his
offence consisted in cmptyius some cigars
out Of duly stamped box into an uu.
stamped basket, and trying to peddlc them
among crowd. Tho desperate was
promptly picked up BY arevcnuo dctcotiye
and held in bail Of one thousand dollars,
which be couldn't give
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25
d0lurtestcr 4allp spp.
CITY NEWS.

St. Andrews society advertise a socable to
take place next Tuesday evening.
The soldiers memorial committee meet this
evening.
The publishers of the city directory have fin
shed their canvass, and call attention to the fact
by an advertisement in another column
The opening address at the public temperance
meeting, in Summer street chapel, tomorrow
night will be given by bIr. NJ. S. Johnson, who
is to be followed by other speakers.
Mr.. B T. Hammond of this city sang con-
cert in Philadelphia, Tuesday night, and the
Evening Star Of that city has much to say IN
praise of his voice, speaking particularly OF its
power, quality and delicacy of expression
The Lottery of Lie" was played at the
theatre last evening. Tickets didn't sol very
brisk; and those who bought didn't seem TO re-
gard the entertainment as much Of prize.
The drama was better patronized in the yeshy
of the Universalist church, last evening, than at
Music hall. The talent for the characters in the
plays, 'Woodcock's Little Came and Bob
Nettes," was all of the amateur sort, and the
parts were, on the whole, very crcdtaby sus-
tanned.
Theodore Thomas has made up the programme
for his concert here next week. 1t comprises the
overtures to Sakuntala aud William Tell the
andante from BeethUyen's fifth symphony,
chorus and march from Wagner's Lohcngria,
Saltarello by Gounod, and a Strauss waltz for
full orchestra; a Schubert quartet for string
orchestra; a concerto by Ltolh and Il List
fantasia in Don Giovanni for Miss Krcbs the
mia and t,,p bs harm M
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25
Alexis.
The Prince at AnnnpOIis-EEc Visits the
Naval Academy, etc.

ANNAPOLIS, Nov 4.-Alexis and suite ar
rived at ten O'Clock TO day. Few people were At
the depot, owing TO the rain. He visited the ma
val academy, and was received with salute
He called at the supernteudenfs quarters,
viewed the parade Of the cadets, boarded the
gunship Santee, and inspected ali the depart
meuts OF the academy. An entertainment was
given nj the headquarters of the commander
Alexis responded to a toast TO the emperor Of
Russia by one to the president Of tie United
States. Admiral Poisset responded to a toast to
the Russian navy with the following: "Ihe pros
perity of the remarkable institution we have
just inspected, may it continue its great useful
ness and produce men like Farragut, Porter and
WOrden, to sdOrn their country's history" At
ter other toastS and speeches, Alexis and party
proceeded TO the depot and lett for New YORK;
while Secretary Robson and several United
States officers returned to Washington. The
duke will remain in New York until about Dee
9th, when he will visit Boston, Albany, Mon
tread, and thence proceed west, after which he
will visit some of the southern states.
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25

WASHINGTON, Nov. 24-The barometer will
probably rise, with partially cloudy weather,
Saturday, in the southern states, aud remain
low, with cloudy weather, in the gulf states and
Texas. A falling barometer, with rain, will
continue in New England, with brisk southeast
winds, veering to west Saturday morning.
Brisk southwesterly winds will continue to-
night on the lower lakes, with diminishing force
and westerly winds. Partially cloudy and
clearing weather will prevail for a short time on
Saturday Falling barometer and warm rain,
in Oregon, will probably move eastward, pre-
coded by extended cloudy and threatening
weather on Saturday north and west Of the
Ohio valley.
Reports received at the signal office from Buff
ialo, Oswego, Rochester, ST. Paul and Toronto,
indicating snow at Eve this evening Snow is
falling at Burlington, VT, and Montreal, Cana
da. AT five, on the summit OF Mount Washing
ton, the thermometer was fourteen degrees above
zero, with south wind blowing eighty miles
per hour, and heavy snow
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25

The weather in California continues extreme
ly hot and dry.
Sail-maker Henry T. Stocker has been ordered
tn the Boston navy yard.
Queen Victoria has returned to Windsor Cas-
tie from BamOral
The details of the Wickenburg massacre leave
no possible doubt that +. w. L1riug was killed
by the Apache Indians
Arizona advices state that the latest inlorma-
ton leaves no doubt that C0chsc is at Canada
Anmosa.
There were sold los, 200 acres of land in Kan
sas and Colorado TO actual settlers during the
past year.
Prince Auersburr has succeeded in forming
new cis-Leithan ministry. The cabinet is now
complete
Is San Francisco, on Thursday, the Governor
Stafford trOttrd three miles on the Union course,
in 2ISl, 2 49, and 2:194.
Forty-hve colored persons passed through ST..
Louis on Thursday, en- route to Lawrence coun-
~, Kansas. They are the advance guard of
about 5000, who will soon follow.
World special "a distinguished cardinal au-
thorlzes me to say, positively, that the pope will
NOT leave Rome, unless compelled by physical
force or personal violence"
The Copperopolis, Stockton and kVisalia rail-
roads have been sold to the Central Pacific,
which, with the exception of short line in Los
Angeles, now owns every rod of railroad in Cal
GoTnia.
Scranton dispatch states that portion of
Olive street sunk several inches on the 23d,
consequent upon the caYng of a running shaft
There is considerable excitement, as several
houses are badly twisted and the foundations
crecked open.
The labor reform convention, called to meet in
Washington in December, has been abandoned
and will meet in Columbus. Ohio, the third
Wednesday in February, with the object of
working in harmony with the national labor
convention, then to be held there, with new per-
feeling of the third party organization
The statement that Congressman Leach is a
member Of the order of kukluX is conceded
among members thereof. They no longer nro.
fess secrecy, but they say that, although Con
gresham Wadde upholds the order, he is not
Il member thereof
Gen. SchO6eld has issued a stringent order
concerning military operations against the
Apache Indians OF Arizona, the effect of which
will be to compel them to go on their resewa-
ton and remain there, where they may be pro-
tected and fed, or take the alternate of being cx-
terminated. The order meets with warm APP
proval. 1t is believed that if it is calrlel out it
will give lasting peace TO the territory.
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25
COUNTY NEWS.

The winter term of Leicester academy will be-
gin on Tuesday, the 9TH of December.
Hardwck is not without its little auks. A
flock of twenty was seen in that inland town
the other day, in search of water.
The Milford CORE pendent of the Woousocle ct
Patriot was so busy at the time he wrote his last
communication that he couldn't even stop to
shake hands with a distinguished visitor He
says: GAS write grasp with the other hand
that of Frederick Douglass"
At meeting of citizens of Sutton, tone of the
finest farming towns in the county, on Mon,
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1871-11-25

WACHTEL.-Wachte the great tenor, who is
to sing in Mechanics hall, next Monday night,
comes to this city with wonderful reputation.
In New York where he sang in opera with
Pirepa, the enthusiasm was unbounded and the
newspaper audation of the most extravaganza
character. Wachtcl wasIlormerly a coachman,
but has now a European reputation as a vocalist
of the highest fame. A writer says of him /:
Fancy a sinewy Teuton with the mercurial tenn
permanent of a Frenchmau and the elasticity Ct
an Italian, and you have the man. Pile the
volubility Of VILLAIN upon the compass of lie
frame, and add something of the largeneSs of
Sllw and the altctation of Capoul, and you
have the voice. The yOcalists aud instrument
talists who accompany Wachtcl are new comers
and will probably give variety and interest to
the performance Of the concert programme. The
price of tickets is too high to ensure large au-
dence