The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1871-03-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

A WESTERN editor remarks that the
thermometer stolen from bis Office will be
Of no use where the thief is gong, as il
doesn't mark more than 3l2 degrees.
"WoMAN is delusion, madam Z" ex-
claimed a crusty old bachelor to a witty
young lady. And man il always hugging
some delCsion or oiher," was the quick re-
ply.
In is Of little moment to restrain crimi-
nails by penalties unless you make them
honest men BY discipline
In certain people bad to work as hard
tor heir daily bread a. they DO for their
amusement they would surrey starve
An Eastern paper. in a n Of re, olufcn-
a.y enrhusra. n SAWS "llmrah fur he
urls # '76!" "ThuudeI ! I'd Nv
Jersey paper That's 100 dsInrd old
No, no Huirab for the eiIls OF 'l7m
OLD Dir. Stearns, of New London, IN
bis later years, kept a drug store A
gentlemen one day purchased segar Of
the doctor, and lightning it,began 70 smoke.
"Please do not smoke in the store, said
DR.. Stearns, politely; ''it is against our
rule" But you sell segars :" rejoined the
gentleman-'s sell 'em to smoke, don't
you n Yes, sir, we sell segars, replied
the doctor, a little sharply-"and we sell
physic Cut We don't allow il to operate
in the store"
care the pictures which you brought
home from Europe ali landscapes p sad
an artist to Mrs. Shoddy, one day. Lord
bless you, no, replied the indignant lady;
''they're lie paintns! -
TIE only mention Of paper money in the
Bible, says an exchange, is where it says
that the dove brought tie "green-baek 70
Noah" A r-istake- when the twelve were
sent out they were commanded to take no
scrip" with them.
IT has been beautifully said that woman
was not taken from the head Of man, for
she was not intended to be bis ruler; nor
from bis feet, for she was not intended to
be bis slave but from bis side, for she was
intended to ue his companion and bis com
fort.
II say, in, what's your business 1w N
I've gone into the respec table stealing
line. m What's that HI "Why, stealing
in partnership with the rich old coves in
Wall street" What's your go-bow DO
,ou get them for partners" "Wby, !
steal, sav hundred thousand dollars, and
then they offer to let the thief keep ten
thousand and no questions asked, If he'll
give up the rest. And then | take back
the ninety thousand like an honest man,
YOU see The old coves are all in with
me. and | make good thing Of H.
J WISE RULES Simeon, the distinguished
evangelical preacher Of thr English Chui Oh,
J once said that the longer be tired the mO: Z
, he felt the importance ot adberng e the
a following rules
w I. To hear AZ littlc a. possible whatever
Z !. u tho prejudice W Others.
,. To believe nothing Of The kind till
a am absolutely forced to It.
q a. Never drink into the spirit Of one
V who inculcatcs an III report.
e / Aways 70 moderate 20 far as can
, he unkiudness which is unkindneSs to
, ward others.
" 3 Always to believe that If the othe
Side were heard a very different accoun
would be given Of the matter.
FILL one little niche in III, all by your
self Keep it busted and IN order Ador
e il with the fruits Of industry, and neve
b move to larger quarters until you hav'
filled the smaller ana need more DOM.
J, "JoHN, said a poverty stricken man t
le his son. "Iye made my will to day.
Or "Ah,' said John, ''yon were liberal e me
ID no doubt" "Yes, John, came dow
81 handsome. I've willed you the whole Stat
le of Virginia to make a living 10, with II
m privilege Of going elsewhere if you can d
be better"