The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1871-08-12
GheGntelti9sueer.
SHIRTS VERSUS WIVES.


The utmost harmony,
She was an ambitious little woman, no
in the sOrOsistical sense, but that she nigh
please her husband and make happy
home for him and the children. To carry
out such an ambition is to be very unset
fish and sell.sacritiCing. In spite of her
many cares, Daisy was bright and hap
py little wife her husband was as the
apple of her eye, and she was n CLEAN Of
sunshine to him. She managed her child
rem with wisdom, and superintendent her
household prudently; she sang lullabys to
quiet the baby, and kicked the sewing
machine when-4iG slept all the household
sewing passed through her nimble fingers
and, in addition TO all this, she made
Frcds shirts Every spring half dozen
linen, and every fall as many now cotton
shirts, were, after being beautifully done
up by Bridget, laid in Fred's bureau
drawer
Daisy liked to do this Tor Fred, and
Fred was very proud of her dainty work
mAnship.
AT the gate Of every paradise fingers
serpent, and there was one here, troubled
and eXasperated at the sight Of such do
nestle happiness; and | now proceed to
chronicle his attempt TO destroy 1t.
Fred was standing one morning before
the glass adjusting his collar, and was no.
tiCing with much satisfaction, the satin.
like smoothness of his shirt bosom. The
demon Of the shirt thought this q good
lime to commence his OpCratiOnssO perch.
ing on his shoulder, he whispered softly in
his ear, Don't you think your collar pitts
Just a Wle in the neCk" Fred started as
The suggestion took form in his mind. ~
do believe It does" he said to himself,
really, ! wonder never noticed that bc.
fore. Yes, that certainly Is very bad.
Daisy must SEQ TO this ut once Then,
raising his voice, he called to his wiic,whO
was in the next room, "Daisy, dear, come
here minute, won't you"
"YGs, Fred she replied; "iust rs soon
as get the baby out Of his bath"
There whispered the demon; "that
baby always comes first with her"
That's 50" aCquiesCed the husband. |
Come, Daisy, cant you hurry up" ho
called again, so impaiently that, wonder.
ing at his unwOntGd humor, she wiped
the pGIrly drops from baby's beautiful
limbs, and, throwing blanket over him,
she laid hin on the bed, and ran in, |
wiping her hands rs she went on baby's
towel.
"Daisy," sald her husband "just look
at this shirt of mine, won't your II pulls
me little here in the neck. think Il
you could manage TO raise II triile in
the back It would make il loose here In
'front.'" and he pulled impAtiently at the
offending garment rs he spoke. As
Daisy did not answer, he continued II
think that all II wants isa gore, or some.
thing in the back Fred might us well
have said II touncc, for all he knew about
the merits or nature Of either; but he
liked TO speak cores and biascs to show
his perfect familiarity with the technical.
tics Of sewing-thG words have such
manly, martial sound; and II was his de.
light to suggest them rs general remedies
for all mistakes Of the needle.
II suppose" said Daisy, thOnghtmlly,
that can rip off the band, and piece
the shirt up in the back. But isn't il
pity to have II altered when it seems
such II good it,"
"a good it," repeated Fred; "why,
don't know whal you can he thinking
about 10 say that. ltdOn't iltmc well at
all"
"Why, Fred, how you do talk I" her
little mouth pickering up the least bit in
the world at his unusual tone ~ always
thought you were satisfied with your
shirts"
80 have beGn," rctOrted Fred; "hut
can't fellow grow That's Just the way
with you women you think there can I've
no Improvement in anything you do |
believe in progress ! am sure II won't
hurt you TO take these few stitches to
please Inc, will IT."
ooh no, Fred" said his wife, an do it
some time to day. But there's the baby
crying; ! must run and dress him."
Fred took oil the shirt, and marked
with pencil the width Of seam higher,
which was all he thought II would need. !
The next one he put on had the same
fault. {
"1'he whole half dozen will have to be '
altered, Of course" said the demon. '
Daisy Is so Systematic that If there Is !
hult in one you will find It in all" |
So Fred called out to his wife that lie ,
would leave the shirts lying on the bed, !
and that she might rs well alter them all,
and make one job of it. a..
After the baby had gone TO sleep that {
morning the little wife sat down with the 8
ak shirts before her, and after several c
hours Of unrCmitting industry the Gfio
Stitches were completed, and the desired !
alteration made 8
ibid you do my shirts Ia day, Daisy =
was the first sNutntion Of her husband as {
he came home at night a
"Ohy yes, Fred, y said she, kissing him; 8
and hope now you will find them Nil q
right" a
Every WE'LL said Fred all try one on
after tea, and See v
Aller praising his wilG's light biscuit, II
eating II whole hCGfstCak, and drinking
llIrcc cups Of coffee, he went 10 his room C
10 try on the shirts, the demon following n
closely at his heels. Soon trcds vcxcd
voice brought Daisy To 10 his side. "This o
won't do ut all !" hU exclaimed "sce n
what bunch there is here in the back.' u
"ThAt," she replied, "is the seam where d
pieCCd II up; besides, when II was made n
higher in the back, 1t was little longer G
than the band; so | held ii in a little"
"Wcll," said Fred, angrily, al won't II
have that great bunch in my back, can y
tell you; the band must be made longer, y
II necessary" s.
"Thcn they won't 1T your collars" she =,
said. '
"No natter replied Fred; ~ cant v
wear them this way" and he looked cross Il
and felt cross, He was already too much
in the power Of the demon TO be polite to
his wife. n
Cant you do these tonight ~ said he, II
altGra long silence. ~ really want my ,
shirts" d
Poor Daisy she was 80 tired; besides, Is
there were all the butiOn.holes in little y