Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1871-08-11
Wit and Wisdom.

THE Erie riddle-A share-raid.
Why not send the Cardiff Giant to
Fiji for the cannibals to try their teeth
on? -Hi '"tF'i'tr
Why are cashmere shawls like deat
pcople? Because they can't make them
here. sB
AN off-hand fellow-one who has lost
both his arms. au.sa
"CouGHINc IIossn is the Indian name
for locomotive. gafT
81 WONDER what causes my eyes to be
so weak ?" said q fop to gentleman.
"They are in a weak place" replied the
| latter.
The first ingredient in conversation is
truth, the next good sense, the third
good humor, and the fourth wit.
BALLooNIsTs don't care about making
much money. If they can only make
ascent they are satisfied.
The Boston Post has an announce
ment of the death. of several citizens
'from throat disease, superinduced by
| razors."
THE light of match will frighten q
wolf away it is said. But love matches
don't always keep the wolf away from
the door. a'. 1a U7.i4
"OUT of sight, out of mind" as the
mad wag said when he saw blind
lunatic. ..,.-.-,
NAVIGATION and embroidery are to
some extent identical sciences. In
order to master either of them, it is ne
cessary to study "the variations OF the
needle" ,a" hrUioi
A FELLOW was told that three yards of
cloth, by being wet, would shrink
quarter of q yard. "Well, then," he
inquired, off you should wet quarter
of yard would there be any left"
THE way to command respect and
plenty of room in crowd-Carry q pot
of paint in each hand.
MARITAL. Why should new levies 90
to war early in the year? Because all
green things begin to shoot in spring.
A LITTLE Buffalo girl wants to know
if fleas are white because her uncle
told her that "Maryahad little lamb
| Will nCstS do WlllUOitt lliON'
In some parts of Colorado water sells
at two cents % pint, which shows that
they haven't dug their wells deep
enough to reach the quartz.
NEGRO once gave the following
toast: ODE gubernor of our State. He
come in wild very little opposition; he
go out wild none at all3'
SMALL cut active boot black to a
wearer of thirteens--" Say, Boss, le'me
black yer boots do it for five cents an
acre, and warrant it done before sun
down."
WHAT is the annual corn crop Of
Kentucky ?" asked foreign tourist of
Kentuc<ian. " | can't exactly say"
replied the Kentuckian "but ! know
it's enough to make all the whisky we
want, besides what is wasted for bread"
BECAUSE a man who. attends a flock
of sheep is shepherd, makes it no rea-
son that man who keeps COWS should
be a coward. TuH"
A GENTLEMAN. having a pony that
started and broke his wife's neck, a
neighbor told him that he wished to
purchase it for his wife to ride upon.
7'No," says the other,"I will not sell
the little fellow, because | intend to
marry again." a4i
A LADY was urged by her friends to
marry a widower, and as an argument
they spoke of his two beautiful chill.
dren. "Children," replied the lady,
''are like tooth-picks--a person wants
her own" a t.a
A LADY had favorite lap-dog, which
she called Perchance: "a singular
name, lsaid somebody, ''for a beautiful
pet, madam. Where did you find it p
"Oh,' drawled she, "it was named from
Byron's dog. You rem momber where he
says, 'Perchance my dog will howl "
''YoU had better ask for manners
than money" said a finely dressed gen
tleman to beggar who had asked for
aims. :" / asked for what | thought you
had the most of" was the cutting re-
ply.