Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1871-10-05
Josh Billings Under Oath.

JOSH Billings being duly sworn, testifys
az follers:
Eight wont go into and hav mulch ov
emmy thing lief; over. Menny a yung fell
low haz found out this sum in arthme.
ticks bi trieing tew git number : foot
into number boot.
Virteu, in one respekt, is like mummy.
That which we hav tew work the hardest
for sticks tew US the best.
hav often herd thafe waz men who
knew more than they could tell, but
never met one / hav often me, thoze
who could tell CRATE deal more than they
did kno, and waz willing tew sware to it
besides.
Hope haz made crate menny blunders,
but thare liz one thing about her that al
wus did llke-she means well.
Sum people are good simply bekauze
they are tew lazy to be wick d, and others,
bekause they liant got a good chance.
G;iaie IL one thing that am not only
certain, but proud ov-thare liz more peo-
| Die in this world who hav changed from
| bad TO good, than from good to bad.
In mummy, interest phollows the princi-
pal; in morals, principle often phoiiows
| the interest.
Yu will notis one thing-the devil sell
dun offers tew go into partnership with a
bizzy man, but you will often see him offer
| tew line the lazy man, and furnish all the
kapital.
don't kno, after all, but it liz jist about
az well tew git atuv yTe bizzncss as it IL
tew hav yure biZznes, git abuv yn.
ain time ov peace prepare for war. y
This IL the way sum familys liv all the
time.
Whenever yu hear a man who alwus
wants tew bet hiz "bottom dollar" yu kan
make up yure mind that that is the size
hiz pile.
The devil IL the only individual on reck-
ord who liz sed not tew possess single
virtew.
Thare IL nothing that a man will git so
six ov az too mulch mollassis.
The vices which man kontrackts in
hiz youth, however mulch he may shake
them oph, will often call on him thru
life, and seek tew renew hiz acquaintance.
Every man haz hiz phollys, but thare IL
this difference--in the poor man they look
like crimes, while in the ritch man, they
only appear tew be exsentrctys.
Old age increases US in wisdom, and
also in rumatism.
l kno lots ov pholks who are plus jist
bekause they waz born 30. They kant tell
when they got religion, and, ifthey should
looze 1t, they wouldn't knott.
We never outgro our phollys only
alter them.
Thare IL this difference between charity
and gift-charity Gums from the heart |;
a gift from the pocket.
Coquets are generally too silly to be
very wicked.
Thare IL full az menny pholks in this
world who hav bin ruined bi kindness az
thare IL who hav bin injured bi kruelty.
The man who IL wicked enuff tew be
dreaded IL safer man in community than
the one who IL just virtewous enuf not to
be suspekted.
Flattery il the wust kind Of Icing.
Hypockrasy IL alwus humble
9 Gravity don't prove emmy thing. II
man liz really wize, be don't need 1t, and |
he amt wize, he shouldn't hav it.
It IL list az natral tew be born poor az
it IL tew be born naked, and it IL no more
disgrace. ..g sas s.a.
Thare liz no excuse whatever for the in
science ov wealth; thare may possibly be
for the insolence ov poverty.
Lazyness liz the fust law ov natur; self
preservashun IL the seckond.
Yu kant konvtrt sinners bi preaching
the gospel tew them at half price. Emmy
sinner who IL anxious tew git hiz religion
in that way, IL satisfied with poor arti-
kle.-Neto York Weekly.