Mower County transcript., 1871-08-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

WHEN conscience is awakened nova.
days, it don't like to say, " Is 1t l?' half SO
we'll as g. IL is you."
A. F.. W1l1.M>nru, Vice President OF
the Home, of New York, is a policy hold
er, stock holder and director Of the Wash
ington Life.
A FOREIGNER hoped that if that WAS q
Fourth Of July, Heaven would deliver
him from The other three-Q Quartcrs-BoSton
Post
No man with y dependent family is free
from reprosch if he fails to ins,,re-Lonr
LlNDuuRsT. Insure III the Mutual Lite
of Chicago.
A PRIVATE III the army recently sent a
letter to his sweetheart, closing with
May heaven cherish you ana keep you
from yours truly, John Smith"
A DIVIDEND is the surplus, the remain
der, the result, tho end ot I! transaction
divided among tho shareholders -h.ncl
the word Iii vide ends. An arothccary
originally carried about his medicine in
jars--hc was pot carricr--hcncr the word
s-pot- t-hecarrles.
A JOYOUS ilsmstl rushed into citizens
arms at Savannah, cxclaiming. "Oh, you
are my long lost hrothcr!' She soon dis
covered her mistake, AMI rushed off in a
confused manner. accompanied by hcl
long-lost brothers pocket book.
A GENTLEMAN in England who recently
captured whale, and paid friend Il hal
crown to inform him how to preserve it
was advised to put the whale carefully
into glass bottle, cover it over with
spirits Of wine (strong whisky may do)
then cork and seal up"
THIS is tho way New York printer al
vcrtises himself: "The poorest printer in
the world. No attention whatever paid
to orders: prices higher than any other
house in the city; II small business cards
for s 600 in gold; other work in propor
tion. How this world is given to lying
GIAcoMo MEyERBEER. some twenty
years ago, was robbed, in Paris, of trunk
containing some new compositions or MIS-
Despite all the efforts of tho secret police
the trunk was not recovered. 1t was re
Gently found in the cellar of an old house
in Rouen, and has been restored to Mey.
erbeer's heirs.
THERE is astory told Of the officers Of a
British ship dining With Mandarin al
Canton. One of the guests wished sec
Ond helping of savOry stew, which he
thought was some sort of duck. Not
knowing word of Chinese, he held his
plate to the host, saying, with smiling ap
proval, "QuaCk, Quack, quaCk." Imagine
how his countenance fell when the host
pointing to the dish, responded, "Bow
ow, ow."
SIR WALTER ScoTT, who was a lawyer
once defended a house breaker at jed.
burgh. After the ial the prisoner sent
for him, thanked him for his exertions
and said he was sorry he could not give
him fee, but he would give him two bits
of advice: First, that a yelping terrier in
side of house was better protection
than big dog outside; and, secondly
that no lock go bothered houscDrcakc c1
as an old rusty one.
IT has been ascertained from the statis
tics OF the General Life Insurance Comlm
ny Of London, that if 100000 intemperate
persons be taken, from, Is to 70 years OF
age, and al equal number OF correspund-
ing ages who arc not incorporate, thirty
two Of tho former will die as often as ten
of the latter Out Of 100, ,O0D of each, 49,
9O7 of the incorporate will be dead before
so years Of age, but of those who are not
temperate 4 206 only will be dead.
NE1eHBon Sis blacksmith; he has
a little four ycar-old. s. was at work
at his forge the other day making barro W
teeth, and had about thirty piled up beside
the job g. Pa, what's them ?"
Those are harrow. teeth, sonny" 81
worked away, not noticing the boy Until
he heard laugh, when he looked up, aIrl
heard him exclaim to himself, "Ho, ho!
" hat an aWfu1 hir mnnfi'
On Sunday morning last, says the New
ton (Nass Journal, the steam fire-engine
at Newton Corner started off at the full
speed of the horses to the fire at Newton.
vile, operated at the fire, and was about to
return when the engineer heard sort Of
subdued cluck, and, upon Investigation, a
hen was found perched upon the spring Of
the tender attached to the machine, having
rode the whole distance to the fire, and re-
mained clinging to her frail fOothold dur
ing the entire time that the machine was
working at the fire. Her cluck appeared
to be one Of triumph at the feat she had
performed, and she seemed to be none the
worse for her rather hasty journey. This
hen had Just before hatchcd ont brood
of chickens, which, in the hurry of de-
parturc, she left behind ut the engine
house.
GEORGE WnlTEFIELD was once preach
ing to seafaring audience in New York,
when, suddenly assuming a nautical air and
manner that were irresistible he broke in
with, "Well, my boys, VIC have clear
sky, and are making fine headway over a
smooth sea before a light breeze, and we
shalt soon lose sight of land. But what
means this sudden lowering Of the heavens,
and that dark cloud arising from beneath
the western horison? Hark! don't you
hear distant thunder? Don't you see those
flashes Of lightning? There is storm
gathering! Every man to his duty! How
the waves rise and dash against the ship!
The air is dark the tempest RACES our
masts are gone the ship is on her beam
ends! What next?" This appeal instantly
brought the sailors to their feet with a
shout, The longboat take to the long
boati"
A C1NCINNAr1 dentist, who had become
nervous by fr, quent burglaries in his vi.
cinity, was somewhat startled recently by
having a man come daily at the same hour
es\'h evening and sit on his doorstep. He
finally suggested that if it would be all
the same to him, he would be pleased to
have him divide his attentions, and sit on
some nejghbor's doorstep for awhile. "But
it woul int be the same," shouted the visi
tor in return, "nor anything like it. You
arc dentist, and have an Internal aching
tooth that haven't the courage to get
pulled. come here every afternoon try
ing to make up my mind to have it out.
and as soon rs | come in sight If Your
house it stops aching, and rs long as >it
on yonr doorstep wl< re the cOniUundtd
thing knows it can get pull Il if it gives
trouble, have some rest Now il 2o,l
want me to go tO another dentist will
"Oh, 10" was the reilly, under the cir.
cumstanccs stay by all means, my friend. ,
WE read, in a German publication, an
extraordinary account Of the cxrl >si,n of
only ten drops Of nitro glycerino, which n
pupil in a laboratory had put into small
iron saucepan, and heated with Bunscn
gas flame. The effect Of tho cxpl ,sion
was that the for y-six panes OF glass of the
windows Of the laboratory were smashed
to atoms, the saucepan was bnl led through
II brick wall, the stout iron stand on which
the vessel had been plnc' Il WAS panty
sllit, partly snirellJ twisted, and the tube
of the Bunscn burner was split and ilattcr,
cd outward. Fortunately, none of the
three persons in the laboratory were
hurt. When nitro-glycerine is caused to
fall, drop by drop, upon a thoroughly red
hot iron pl1te, it burns off as guupowder
would do under the same conditions; but
if the iron be not red hot, but yet hot
enough to cause the nitro-g glycerinc
to boil suddenly, an explosion takes
place.
MIR. BARRY, in his work on Russia ir
1870, tells story of the time when slave
ry was an institution in that country: A
certain irOnmaster caused q man who hna