Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1871-11-04
Our New York Letter.
New YORK CITY, Oct. 81, 1871.

Agreeably to promise, write you a lc;.
ter on various topics, from the Ring City,"
which is now at the boiling stage of ex-
element over the yacht races, in which
, the pompous and over-confident English
man has had all the starch taken from his
| sails; and the only consolation | can offer
him is that the wind changes oftener on
this side Of the Atlantic than it does at
home"
TARGET EXCURSIONS,
Composed of the various political clubs of
the city, are every day holding their annu-
al pow-wOw. Their modus opeyunM con-
sists in "dofling" working costume, "don-
ming the fiery red shirt, and then dun
ming" the various "unfortunatcs" who
draw ''smalf' salaries, to give them prize
to be shot for when they reach their happy
hunting grounds" At night when the
pleasuresecker is at the various places Of
amusement, when the business man is en-
joying the social reunion, when the student
is ransacking the labyrinths of learning,
they return, and by their "Comanche"
yells make night hideous, as they step to
the tune of "As Johnny comes marching
home"
THE DYSPEPTIC CLUB OF EAST PIETOwN'
Was the subject of a lecture l heard the
other night. This was delivered for the
benefit of the Chicago sufferers, and the
lecturer, clearing his throat by way of pre-
face said: THAT important official who
is generally given up to hardness of heart
and reprobacy of mind has volunteered to
stick the posters gratis" Then clearing
his throat second time, and "hawking
and hemming" equal to Singer sewing
machine, said 81 will tell you how the
dyspeptic transacts business: list. He calls
upon the Doctor and after narrating a long
catalogue of symptoms, winds up BY say
ing in complimentary tones 1-O-h-1-
think you're humbug." E.rit dyspeptic,
and calls on Dr. No 2. He informs him
that he really believes his ailment is caused
y,hfgh Nri1a and .tast cheming." The DR..
No. ., scratching his knowing pate and
quizzically adjusting his "specks" pre-
scribes for 'my dear fellow" poor mans
plaster, and "ten Catawba pills to be taken
night and morning, these 10 be 'ushcred
into the - world by powder Of scam
mony, rhubarb and j.lap." After this
course was completed his faith was COM
pletcly shaken in the medicine man"
He then tries DR.. No 3, who says"it is not
dyspepsia but 'catcnation Of diabolic in
firmities' and that he will get better if he
will only keep his mind from himself"
This he resolves to do, and walking upon
the street he notices with pleasure every
little object that chances to pass his way
But alas, mans resolves are broken by him
self, either directly or indirectly, and so
it soon happened in his case, for grand
motherly' old soul soon comes out of
store and accosts him thusly: well now
do tell me how you feel" without waiting
for an answer, she says these encouraging
words, why you look more worried and
yallower and still yallower l say, if l
was you, would go to see the doctor"
upsCtS OIL, nhu hC biCdhS out III
tive tones-"How tedious and tasteless the
hours are spent, &c" He finds pastime in
asking his friends conundrums, which are
suggested in an impromptu manner, as the
different pains and aches strike him. 1st
If man ask you for hot hash would you
give him the cold shoulder?' This is
poser. Then he asks, "Why is dyspepsia
like land measure Because its fur
long time before it gets better. This
makes him smile and he says no! NO! NO!
and pain suddenly touching him, he ex-
claims, Because it's an are" Passing on,
his attention is suddenly called to a certain
place where he not only hears but smells a
mice-no goat-and he says, this must
be the place where they make masons, l
believe would like to be one, SO in he
stalks and rapping at the door is admitted,
raising his chapcau, and placing one hand
on his head and the other on his stomach,
Showing that he can pat and rub at the
same timc) says, II am ready" The clerk of
the establishment, who is Delcherman,
says. Mister, ish you ready, dere ish der
goat, here ish der hot iurn, dere ish der bo-
ker, say ish you reddy. Won, doc, dree."
Not liking so much celebrity, he cries out,
"hold-hOld- -mister-I-I-feel weak
in the "stomachs," forgot to take my
stomach bitters," let me-me-go-an
making dive, he causes general scatter
alton "ov dc vree unit excepted masons"
and breaks for "home sweet home"
Believing this to be true narrative of
suffering humanity, and apologizing for my
too long etfusion, will end by prescribing
for the complainant" go at once to the
Frostburg Minsng Journal insert long,
windy advertisement, and my word it will
bring you SO much custom that the healthy
exercise behind the counter, induced by
virtue Of said "blOw OUT will cure, radical
ly, your "diabolic infrmities," better known
as dyspepsia. MEDIcUs.
ENGLISH OPINION OF AMERICAN ENER-
GY.-The London Times doth ult.) con-