The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1871-12-23
Wit and HumOr.

Mrs. JONES colored coachmen, being
told that his cockade is a badge of
servitude, replies that, on the contrary,
cit am sign of de livery" IL
SHARP Chinaman to California lady
at Sunday school " Why do-ee Chris
tan only talk-ee about Jesus on Sun
days and notice one time-ee on other
daysl"
BEFORE hanging a man in Louisiana
they let reporters for the newspapers
interview " him for three weeks. The
poor fellow is then not only willing but
anxious to be hung.
THIS is the heading of paragraph in
Western paper, recording suicide !:
" He blew his head Off Bilious, poor,
and disheartened-Th gun-muzzle in
his mouth, his toe on the trigger, and
up goes his hair"
A Down Easter being told that his
meanness would tell lie for six and a
quarter cents, Indignantly denied the
allegation, but at the same time admit
ted that he might relate sixteen for a
dollar.
NAPOLEON the First used to carry with
him, VIXEN he went hunting, fifty bot
ties of wine, but never touched it. On
one occasion he was thirsty. and order
ed glass "All gone" said the valet.
Hereafter take fifty-one bottles, and
keep one for me-"
The Chicago Post replies to an in
curing correspondent "No; its use
less to burn the phoenix, for he'll raise
from his ashes triumphantly. The only
way to get rid of him is to employ him
to fill your kerosene lamps o'nights,
and thereby blow him to atoms"
A NEGRO woman was relating her ex-
perience to a congregation ofcolor, and
among other things she said she had
been in Heaven. One of the ladies
asked her, Sister, did you see any
blacks III Heaven - "Oh, git out
Yon s'pose [ go in de kitchen when L
was dare
CREDIT the Detroit Post with the sub
joined misanthropic expressions: 'tNow
is the time to rally to the festive dona-
ton party. A donation party is cheer
| full gathering, where a poor clergyman's
| flock overwhelm him with bead watch
pockets, and eat up about SIP worth
of his winter provisions.
| A MOTHER, not a thousand miles from
| Oshkosh. Wis, was endeavoring to ex-
PLAN to her little boy the other day
that, if he lived, he would some day
become tall, strong man: The little
| fellow was evidently deeply struck with
the idea, and after studying intentIy
| for few minutes, broke out WITH
''Say, mother, do you suppose I'll
ever be big enough to whip God 2"
The New York Leader has kept re-
cord tor two years, and says if Patti
has received all the presents in that
! time which have been reported, she has
no less than As diamond tiaras, two
chateaux in France, 1913 diamond sets,
432 purses, 25 pearl necklaces, So
single Jewels, So horses and carriages,
Is pearl sets, 80 silver bouquet-holders
and other small articles of value that
would make up a ton.
A NEwsBoY was ran over by an omni-
bus, yesterday, just as he was pro
pounding a conundrum to anothernews-
boy. " Why" he asked, with guilty
leer, d" are the -" At this point the
horses darted madly over him he
lodged the pole, unlocked the traces,
and lay down in an instant SO as not to
obstruct the passage of the vehicle
then he brushed off the dirt, stood on
his head, and gathered up the queS-
ton, "Why are tile candle-fed Esqui-
maux not troubled with dyspepsia -
All gave it up-even the policeman
who had come to arrest him. ''Because"
and he laughed hoarsely-'' thcy are
light eaters -
YOUNG Sutton was son of the Arch.
bishop of Canterbury, and was too hoe
tempered for bishops boy. One day
he went into Saunders & Otley's shop,
very angry at not having received some
books he had ordered. He "blew."
indeed, until one of the partners init
mated to HIM that his language was
past endurance. 81 don't know who
you are, " was the answer, 'thut I don't
want to annoy you personally, as You
may not be the one IN fault it's your
COMPOUNDED house that I blame. You
msy be Otley. or you may be Saunders
Ii you are Sanders, d-n Otley if
you are Otley, d. n Saunders mean
nothing personal to yOu."