The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1871-10-05
TRIALS OF A DIsGusTED PASSENGER.
BY DOM PIATT.

nance if knew what would have it extrac-
ted. I don't like having unprotected females
and school girls and boys turned over to me.
It's little hard on man. And what is the
good of it? Nobody needs protection; if any
one does, it is benevolent, good-looklng, IN
nocent sort of man-such Us the writer or
this.
| was leaving on the morning train once
from Philadelphia, when respectable looking
old scoundrel in gold-rimmcd glasses, asked
me to take charge of his daugh She could
have taken charge of me- She WAS thirty ifa
day, with Il face that had been on the offensive
for ten years. Id like to sec any man attack
that woman; Id 90 odds ten to one on the
scratch.
The old fellow seemed to be in great hurry,
and thrustng the lady under my arm lett the
cars and drove Off In thin, angular voice,
that was meant to be very sweet and was not,
she asked me to take her pockct-book and get
the necessary ticket. l left the car for that
purpose, but when l approached the opening
where the ticket agent, kept in solitary conllne-
ment, snaps at the world outside, found that
had left my pocket-book under my pillow at
the hotel and what was worse, my watch with
it, had about twenty minutes, and jumping
into a hack promised the driver ten dollars II
he would get to the hotel and back in time Tor
over an apple stand, crippled Il venerable gen
tleman on the corner opposite, and in less than
the time stated, and the driver found our
selves marched oil to the station in the hand OF
the police We were taken before corpulent
Justice of the peace, who had as much adirosc
in his head rs most men carry about their MUS
cles. and it took the old fellow just two hours to
trv, rcprimand and fine us for our drunken and
di>orlcrly conduct. OF course the train went
oil with my charmcr. 1t went oil without her
pocket-book. never saw her again, although
made diligcnt search and advertised III the
daily papers. But one unfortunate day, some
months after, encountered q male member OF
her family, who made some serious charges
against me connected with the dcscrion OF
lady and stealing her lockct-book. l tried 10
cxllain but, failing 10 gel my words III sails
iactorilv, WAS forced to make an assault Oh this
member of her family, that ended i'll some
black eyes and bloody noses.
Now what was the good Of putting that aged
female under my care? 1t only led to her Civ
inc me that pockct-book and the catastrophe
that followed She could just as well have
gone off on the Pennsylvania Central without
rs well as with me- The thing is an Outrage.
If people want to put their females under the
care OF anybody. lct them try the couducl"rs-
they are hired for such purpo.cs-and not lnl-
pose upon innocent passengers.
| WAS reminded Of this by IN adventure that
happened 70 ne the other nigh, in New York.
WAS about leaving on the nine o'clock train
for Washington, when Il nian who WAS III
search OF nlc approached. know hc was III
search of me. He WAS in search of some re-
spectacle, benevolent individual To pa; a wo-
man under his care. And hr did. She h%l,-
pcncd to be rather goo,l-oorg, and didn't
Object in violent way, bu, 49, ncit!cf vcf.,
graceful or gracious over i.ic roAll!!mcnt-
When came To secure >"c.ion- in ,lc sleeping
car. found that Il delegation Of piou> people
business, and had taken nearly all the bcrtllS.
! procured two-at least | thought had--and
marched my female with her two carpet sacks,
strap-salchcl, mocking Bird and q silk um-
brclla, with waterproof, and two shawl:
done up in straps, in lGl. When We arrived
inside, | learned for the first time that M ui-
protected female could not abide S!ccring-cars.
She said she felt like suilocating, and | wished
secretly she would suilocate but, when we
came to occupy our bcrtls, made two dsa-
@rceablc discoveries.
The first was that the two tickets called for
the same berth The other that this was the
upper one. Ny female friend said positively
that she could not get into that berth. in-
formed her that it was her only chance to
sleep, and she told me that she would rather
sit up. then gave her the further informa-
ton that was not very we'll but in sleeping
car there w:ls no place to sit except or q wash
basin and that ! thought would be rather n-
convenient At last, with the aid OF Il step
ladder and the steward, and two pions old
Pomps. my unprotected female waS boosted
into her roost, and the curtains drawn over her
for the night
Then came the question as 10 what had be-
come of the undersigned. ! consulted the CON
,luctor and the steward, and had the stti-i:!c
tion of hearing the fact stated that if had
told them earlier the bundcr might have been
rcmcdied. But, It's il was, the pious delegation
had retired for the night, and all the bcrtls
were occupied. The conductor, however, told
me that he would try and make some arrange
ment, and then went Off about his business.
A drunken man had been captured Oh the
platform as we started, where he WAS found adj
dressing the stars i'll Il voclicrous way, the
sleeping car ticket fshc'l out Of his pocket and
the incbriatc fellow chuckcd into an upper
berth. WAS leaning against the wasli-stand
Of the car in very melancholy way sometime
after, when this intoxicated fellow stuck his
head out and, addressing me, sad
q, would like to have Il drink"
Water" said |.
"No. curse it, darn water | want some whi,-
key ! am dry as chip
well" responded, Il am sorry to say that
! have none about me"
'..tin't You the CONDUCTOR"
"No," responded, Il don't believe am"
"Nor do |. IT. you were the conductor you
would have something to drink. Where is the
CONDUCTOR"
told him he wa, in the other car.
"Wcll. he said, Il have .src:I, mind To get
ui and hustle around Till | gct drink.
NV Christian friend said there Is
nothing in the constitution n"r The sixteen
amendments tha prohibit y"u from Getting nr
and hunting drink. il yoa wan; IL.
Whcrerp"n the inrhrai'' In''v',ra I [%lic1
o.t OF the berth. lie rolled int" several OILERS
and WAS promptly rcicctc' an'' 1T last HrliII'%
hi, lee, disa,pcnre,l at ti:c further end ot the