Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1871-09-16
Facts aEass E'aEaCics.

Good name for conductor on a street
railway-Oscar.
Widowers never die of grief just
let them alone and they II soon revive
An erratune in the Chicago Tribune
reads: For "setter pup" read " letter
press
In time the mulberry tree becomes a
silk gown-aud silk gown becomes a
| woman.
A boys paper in Boston advises the
Humane Society to arrest all persons
in the city who bottle cats-up.
The New Orleans car conductors
talked of getting up club, but the
companies interlered, as they thought
the conductors could knock down
enough already.
Romantic Amelia (to her betrothed
young doctor)-"Look Gear, such a
beautiful sunset p
Uuromantic doc,or-F'Ya>as appears
to have muztard plaster on.
A New Orleans colored boy got a
blackstone in his throat, and was reiiev-
ed by doctor who took him by the
heels and shook it out Of him. This
is new method Of < healing"
"Smith on the Eyasions Of Pay
ments, is said to be the title of new
press. The author probably dedicates
it to his creditors, to whom he is in
debted for many valuable favors.
\ youn5 lady of Montgomery, Ala
bama, on being told her lover had been
suddenly killed, cried: Oh, that
splended goll watch Of his Give me
something to remember hin by"
\ country cditor,who carries concealed
weapons, is searching for the writer en-
health who sent the cdtors's wife . cir
caIar recommending that carpets BE-
taken up aud beaten every mouth.
\ man in Boston on getting soda,
was retiring from the store without the
usual ceremony which follows that op-
Grafton. "RecoIect, sir, said th4 polite
proprietor, ''lf you lose your pocket
book, you didn't pull it ont here
A distinguished agrieulturalist says
the only way to ei!ectually destroy
"widows weeds, is for . man to say
"WiIt thou" Bat waat ii Il voice under
the weed says. ~ wilt not' some Wild
ows' weeds 10 not yield to h4abaadry
n reply to m exchange that ID age
Is to bo respected, the Boston 1rarsI.4.
says: ".ineh depends upon Whether
"e tiD1 1t in msn Of in poultry" H.
this a slight amendment mar be mad
That IN men it Is to ~ re pectcd, ana
in poultry it is to be expected.
A gentleman said to an old lady who
had brought up a family Of children
near the river, 4" | should think you
would have lived in constant fear that
some would have got drowned" ooh,
no." res. on led the old lady, we only
lost three or four in tia. way"
An Assistant United States Marshal
in louisville, IN taking the census asked
"a colored woman what personal proper
ty she possessed, to which she rcnled
Nothing but desc tree cLiIlen yere
m dey aint eu;h mnch since the mans
e;P2iiJn proclamation"
Hairjresser 60 perspiring customer
lurins the iarc hot woathcrJ-" Hair
cut, sir p
Stout Party Calling into chair cx
haustcd -" Yo -
Hairdrcsser--" Much of. sir ?"
Stout Party (Phow .)--"Cut it to
the bone !"
4 travelling African hired out to
Thos. Ellis, at Alma, Mich, farmer, and
ran away with Mrs Ellis Il week after
wards. Mr. Ellis traced them to De-
froit, where in reply to question as TO
whether he would shoot the offender.
be said he would not, for the stings of
would be punishment
enough for him. 1t is not difficult to
imagine the rascally pcnitcnt writhing
in the wayside, tortured by the sting OF
and bowling about it.
Dunning cf the Denton House, in
California, handed one of
his boarders slip of paper on which
were some caballstic figures,
W hat is this z" asked the boarder.
"That, sir, is your board bill--two
weeks, $10," replied Dunning.
I" You don't let man leave unless he
pays, do your"
No, sir, / don't" said Dunning.
" Well, then, | II stay with You for
ever" rejolned the sparrer, as he sat
himself back comfortably in his chair
A Hosicr housewife furnishes this.
as the original recipe for making the