davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
REMARKABLE CURE OF
Kidney Complaints and Old Sores
cured of Years standing.

PHlLADELPEIA, Pa, June 20, 1870.
DR.. Tngrahan & Co., Wooster, O.-GentI =
Meesdoulan OIL cured me of Inflammation OF
Bladder and hidney disease al old sore slsol
that had spent Q mint OF money in trying 10
get cured. sirs, it hss equal for the cure Of
the above diseases. Hereld it 10 the world.
Yours respectfully,
JOHN J. NIXON, D. D.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
sIMILIa sIMILIBUs CERANTUR.
HUMPHREYS
RonGEoYATRIu SPECIFICS

UAvR PROVED, FROM THE MOS AMPLE
Il experience, entire success: Simple,
Prompt, EthcieDt and Reliable. They are the
only Medicine perfectly adapted to popular use,
so supple that mistakes cannot be made a
using them; SO harmless as to be free from dan
ger, and so efficient as to be always reliable
They have received the igtest commentator
from all, and will always render satisfaction to
II ose who try them.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
rrr1.rrpgv GEs ru,Vs.
LOOK TO YOUR CHILDREN!
n O oEHIN G. 4 = M n . z !!

THE GREAT
n oEHING u = M n . z!
MRS. ( Cures Collie and Gripping
WHITCOMB's in the BowleS and fasili-
SYRUP. tatss the process Oftesthing.
sabdues convulsie ms, and over PRICE
fants and ehildred. Cbhlo.
wHITUoMB,s terry and summer Com
SYRUP. plant, in childran of all ages
Relieve pain, weakness or ez-1 PRICE
hAustiOn in l5Or 20 minutes, giving 90
tone and power to the sy stem CENTS.
Itis the Great Infants and Chidren's SOOth-
| ing Remedy, In all disorders brought on by
tsething or any other cause.
Be particular in calling for MRS. WHIT
| COMES SYRUP, and take no other
Prepared by the GRAFTON MEDICINE CO.,
st. Louis, no.
Sold by Druggist. and dealers in Medicine
| everywhere.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
Chronic and venereal Diseases

ia the shortest time before kno,cn, and have
already cured that were given up to die,
whose names can be seen at our rooms opposite
the Post Ohce. These are some Of the remedies
we use, and also sending Medicines to all
parts of the country.
All letters, confidential or otherwise, should be
addressed to Box 664 Davenport, Iowa, giving a
full description of your disease and enclosing a
stamp for reply.
II, KNAPP BALLOU, A. NJ NJ D.
II yJzo MI,
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
"nobannan,s Female Regulator"

1 n fnfallib.e remedy for al obsuuotions OF
A The monthly Poriods" from colds OF ether
csuse. A certain cure it Is Woman's beat
$50 pee Five Dollars. Sent to any ad-
- ,;tt fol- ard complete directiGut5 etc. FOR
~. -E.r al Or. C. \. BohGnnan,s Once, No. CIV
Nnih Fifth street, between Washington avenue
and Green, west side, ST. LOUIS, Nc
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
DXsR : ? s. q.
W.p~pp,s nyspEpSI. TONIC !,

WARMERS DYSPEPSIA TONIC is
prepared expressly for Dyspeptics and those suf-
feriug vita hsbitual CoStiveness. 1t is slightly
stimulating tonic and splendid sppetiIer; it
streng CITIZENS the stomach and restores the diges-
tive organs to their healthy state. Weak, ner-
vous and dyspeptic persons should use W arner's
Dyspsptic Tonic. For sale by druggists. Pric
One Dollar.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
onr,,s C,rsE FOR PILES.

DR.. B0HANNAN's pile oittment il guar
.ntecd certain cure for Piles, no matter "hSt
c,r, - how long sta Z ding, in from three TO Eve
6avs Pri,e one dollar. Sent to any address
nv mail fifteen cents extra for postage eoln
opIv At DIR. @. A. Bohsnnsn's office, No. 6l9 n.
Filth street. St Louie, No. EstsbliIhed in 1887
r-rbcy dslv
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
|1I|j|Eg|I|B|llHIG 'IA|
es7ZZ'Z I7zlZ:2ZNZzz

To any person producing any Medicine show
ing halfas many living. permanent cures as DR.
RITLER's VEGETABLE RHEUMATIC REMEDY.
Used insoardly only. A pleasant Medicine, free
from injurious drugs. Warranted, under oath,
to have permanently cured 90 In every 100 pa
tients treated in the past ten years. (see testi-
mony.) 1t lie the scientific prescription of Pro-
fessor jos. P. Filter, M. D., graduate of the
University of Pennsylvania, A. d. l833,-now
eof PhilaieIphia's oldest regular Ply slcianz,
ard Professor of Chemistry and Toxicology,-
who has made Neuralgia, Chronic and Infama-
tory Rheumatism the speciality Of his entire pro-
fessiOnsl hfe--a fact youchsd tor by the sigma
lures accompanying each bot,le and other testi-
monislt Of many prominent renowned physi-
eians and clergymen. To protect sufferers from
poisonous 9uack nOstrums and useless expendi-
ture of money, legal signed guarantee, stating
exact number of bottle warranted TO cure, viii
be forwarded gratis to any szserer sending by
letter full description of affection. In case OF
failure to cure, amount paid positively refunded
Medicine sent anywhere by express, collect OF
delivery. Afflicted invited to write for advice
| ell information and medical advice sent BY let
ter gratis. Address DR.. ]. P. FITLER, q
South Fourth street, Philapelphia, Pa. Tn
Remedy ia sold or obtained by Druggists.
feb2l-deod s-wIy
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
DEATH TO WORMS :"
DIR. INGRHAM's
VEGETABLE
WORM CANDY TABLETS

Expels Stomach, Tape, and Pin Worms.
These Candy Tablets are pronounced BY
Physicians every where q certain specific for
worms. They not only benefit by expelling
Worms; but they Invigorsts and tone the
digestive organs. Letters and certificates
commendasory Of their great virtues come
to US from all parts of the country. One
man writes ne, he gave one of his children
the Tablets and IS Worms we're expelled in
twentyfour hours.
One trial will convince you.
Good Reliable AGENTS Wanted every
where to Sell these Preparations. Address,
| DR.. INGRAHAM & CO.,
L Iags-d-t, ss&wsOwIy { Wooster, Ohio.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
-
MEDICAL.
Parmelee's New Vegetable Pills,

Containing Mandrake and Dandeliop and will
Cure Liver ana Kidney Complaints, Dyspepsia,
oostivepess, Headache, Purify the Blood and
| requisite the secretionS remove all Bilious mat
ter and prevent Ague. These Pills are Anti
Bilious and q Specific for the cure of those
Chronic and Bilious DeTangeraents. my24dwly
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
Z NJ NJ = N AGOGUE

WARMERS EMMENAGoGUE is the
only article known to cure she Whites, lit will
cure in every esse.) Where is the family in
which this important medicine is not wante6l
Mothers, this s the greatest blessing ever offered
you, and you should Immediately procure ii. 1t
s also a sure cure for Female Irregularities, and
may be depended upon in every case where the
monthly flow has been obttructsd through cold
or disease. Sold by Druggists. Price one doD' :
Or sent by mail on receipt Of One Dollar ana
| Quarter.
Address Gle State ST., Chicago, Ill.
| For sale st Moline by VIM. G. Morris, corner
Wells and Lynde sts., and by GSunell Co..
| Main street. Gug25-deod IT, 6sAwly
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
WINE OF LIFE.

The great Blood Purifier and Delicious Drink,
WARMERS VIkUM WIFE, or WIN L
OF LIFE, il free from any poisonous drugs,
or impurities, being prepared for those who re-
quire a stimulant 1t Is q SPLENDID appetizer
and tonic, and the finest thing in the world for
purify ing tho blood. 1t is the most pleasant and
delicious article ever offered 10 the public, far
superior to brandy, whisky, wine, bitters, or any
other article. 1t Is more healthy, and cheaper.
Both male and female, young and old, can take
the Wine of Life. 1t is, in fact, life preserver
Those who wish to enjoy good health and free
| iow of lively spirits, will do well TO take thu
Wine of Life. tits different from any thing
ever Def re in use. II is sold by druggists sis
at all respectable saloons. Price One Dollar, fl
| quart bottles.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27

Wipohendon, Mess, is the leading town
in the country in the manufacture of wood
an ware. There are six or eight firms at
Boston that do yearly business of 81 ,oeo''
900 in these goods and within two months
5000 boxes of clothes pins have been snip
ped to Europe, also about the same number
of toy pals. The California trade was for
merly very extensive, but factories have late
ly been established in that State which sup
ply the demand, and Eastern trade in thai
quarter ia at an end.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
DIX. BOHANNAN
ef6se 70. Gle North Fifth street, (between
Washington Ave. ana Green streets,
SAINT LOUIS. MISSOURI.
Established IN st. louis 1887.

rrREs ALL CHRONIC AND SPECIAL
- Diseases in 9 short time, either in Male or
Female; charges low ices; uses 10 Mercury
%G DIR. BOHANEAN'S Treatise on Spec
ial Diseases watch fully explain the nature,
causes, sy mptons, etc, of "sPermstsrrhes' or
'eemiral " eaknesE," and all the evils resulting
from selfAbuse, and impediments TO marriage
generally. Also, valuable information On other
Delicate subjects. Sent Free to address IN
pGin sealed envelope.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
Read What The People Say
Cured of Deafness of 1s Years
standing.
Read what Druggists say.

Reading Pa, Oct, ?, 1868.
DR.. Ingraham CO.-Gsnss reside at sl6
Mifiin ST., Reading, Pa, was totally deaf in one
ear and partially deaf in the other for eighteen
ysars.-Your n aeedonian Oh has entirely cured
me, and now hear we'll as ever l heard from
both ears, and know of others Of my neighbofs
who have used the Oil with the same oeneheial
results. Hoping that may be the means of
doing you good, as well sufferers otdeafness
| (by recommending the Oil, l am yonr obedlent
seSv.nt. HENRY Ru0ADs.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
Kidney, Bladder,

Urinary and Womb diseases, Gravel, Diabetes,
Dropsy, Iucontinuance of Urine, Brghts dis
ease: Albuminuria, and in ell eases where there
are Brick dust dep osits, or the water is thick,
cloudy, mixed with substances like the white Of
an egg or threads like white silk, or there Is &
morbid dark bilious ap pearAnce, and white bone
dust deposits and where there is priokin g.
| burnin sensation, and pain in the Small of the
| Back and along the Loins. In ell these coHdl
tions RAILWAYS sARSAPARILLIAN RE
| SOLVENT, aided by the application of RAD
| WAYS READY RELIEF 10 the Spine ant
Small of the Bach, and the Bowels regulated with
one or two of RAILWAYS REGULATIE
PILLS per day, will soon make a complete cure
In few days, the patient will be enabled t.
hold and discharge water naturally withoutpsin
and the Urine will be restoredto its natal eleA
an d amber sherry color.
The waste of the body are supplied with new
healthy, and vigorous blood, that furnishe
found structure. Hence all suffering from weak
ening discharges, either N ale or female, or fror
ulcers or sores, through the rsparative process
go RAILWAYS sARSAPARILLIAE,ar are arrest
Sd and the Tuptured organs healed
The true theory of cure. RAILWAYS sAE
SAPAhlLLIAE RESULNENT supplies IL
system, through the blood, urine, sweat, al
structure making constituents, with tissue-maE
in r. flesh IL skng heat OF caorie and fat "a al IN
purifying and streng Ghening. 1t repairs, beal
dissolves, and drives out oft be body thsproduc
{ of decay and corruption, white swelling, Drops.
syphilis, cancers, tuners, &e., are all of q scr
fuious diathesis, and as such; are within the Gu
able range ofthe sLRsAPARILLIAE REsoLVEE
That scrofula, by " hAtever name designated,
: the result Of deposits from the blood, Induced
caused by chronic Inflammation. That tho
10 deposits take place when the blood is poor, wea
+ watsry, and incapable ofholding in solution
y proper constituents, from the presence OF sol
it virus or poison the blood, as mercury, cSiom
3 corrosive sublimste, which is the corrosive Oh
r ride of mercury or other agents, given IN me
. cines and which enters largely in the com u
9 advertised sarsaparilias, not absorbed OF chan
from their natural condition.
d That unless the repairs or nutrimenis are gre
srthan the wastes, that decomposition a
= decay will supervene, and the powers of !
- become exhausted.
. That the dy ing body cannot be sustained
IA any treatment of medication that exhausts
y system. OF fails to noarish the blood, the o
Nv medium through which tie vital forces are T
ID served and on which the growth OF the b
n Gepends.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
Uatlp 1reus.
Eope.
BY J. d. WHITE

BY J. u. WHITTIER.
The night Is mother of the day,
The Winter of the Spring,
And ever upon cd decay
The greenest moses cling.
Behind the cloud the skylsrk turks
Through showers the sunbeams fsil;
For God, who loveth all his WORKS,
Has left His hope with ali
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27

Attorneys.
CHARLES ROBINSON,

A TTORNEY AT LAW. HulPs Block, cor
n Washington and Illinois streets, Rock Is
land. Connected with BIbee & Marsh's Law Ant
Ool!estlop Office of Chicago. ny ljd /,
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
L. e. PARHEKTER,

TToREEFA AND o0UEsELLog ATLAW
n 0Eos over Mitchell 4 Lynds's Bank, hoeA
Island. ILL., may 2ediyws2w.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
BEAUTY REAUTY!!.
Strong. and Pure 1ich Blood---xn-
crease Of Flesh. and weight-.-
CLEAR Akin and Beautiful
Complexion,
SECURED TO ALL.
RAILWAYS
sARsAPARILLIAN RESOLVkkT
Has made the most astonishing cures. 30
quick, so rapid ARE the changes.the body
undergoes ..aoader: The atatluence Of
this truly :. aoondertuI
medicines that
EVERY DAY AN INCREASE IN
FLESH AND WEIGHT Is
SEEN AND FELT.

scrOfuls, Consumption, Syphilis in its many
forms, Glandular Disease, Ulcers, in the throat,
mouth Tumoss, Nodes in tho Glands and
other parts OF the system; Sore Eyes, Strumous
Discharges from the Es's Eruptive Diseases of
the Eyes, Nose, Mouth, aud the worst forms of
Skin Diseases; Eruptions, Fever Sores, scsld
Head, Ring Worm, Salt Rheum, Erysipelas
Acens Black Spots, Worms in the Flesh, Tuners,
Cancers in the Womb, and all Weakening ana
Painful Discharges; Night swests, and all
Wastes of the Life Principle, are within the
Curative range Of Railways sarsap Arillian
ReaOlyent, and a few days use will prove to shy
person using it for either of these forms Of dis
ease its potent power to cure them.
Not only does the SARSAPARILLiAA
RES0LVEET excel all known remedial sgents
in the cure of Chronic, scrofulous, Constitution
al, Skin and syphiloid diseases, but is the only
positive remedy for
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
MEDICAL
OVER 6O,OOO CURES

without 8 failure, the past
Is years, In all the worst
GASES of PILEs, DKoPsY,
ScRoFuLA, SALT RHRUM,
DYSPEPSIA, CArARRH.
NEURALGIA, and all dis
eases of the SKIN and
BLooD, by using Rowle'g
! pile and Humor Curs an
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27

NIB. The Macedonian Oh can only be sent
nv Expre.s. The mails refuse 10 carry Liquids.
Orders for any Of the Medicines on thls
bill Addressed to
DIR. INGRAHAM 4 CO.,
Wooster, O., will receive prompt atten
ton whore money is enclosed.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27

AHrEL e. Al4xE JAMES ". sBsoEs0H
ALIEN L gIMtk9oK.
4 TTOREBYs AED ooUHsEL0RE Al
~ LAW, Rock IslAsd, III oFss In BufOEd''
yiosk.
ssp23Gly.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
RAnWAY,s PILLS.

Read "PALsE AED TRUE"
Send one cent stamp to RsdWay q Co., Nc
81 Maiden Lane, New York. Information wort
Thousands viii be sent you. dWlJ
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1871-05-27
A Rack F0g THE MILLION,

A Private Counsel
or to the Married or
those about to marry
on the physiological
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-11-17

ing nights and cold storms, and large
sunny yard TO exercise in during fine
weather. He should be abundantly
supplied with the best of hay, and have
quart or two of carrots daily and an
additional quart of good oats or wheat
shorts will never harm him.
Nothing is so much wanting in our
American horses as that perfection of
nerve, muscle, and BONE which imparts
to Arabian and thoroughbred horses
their spirit, courage and endurance. The
Arab, as has been stated feeds his colt
on the most nutritious food, such as
milk, wheat and barley. The thorough
bred colt is constantly fed with oats from
the time he is three months old and
the mare, both while with foal and while
sucking, is never deprived of them.
Good horses cannot be produced with
out good food the knife will the like
the steel from which it is manufactured.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-11-17

If they come closer, both sides TO re-
main halted till the umpire decides
which of them is to retire. Cavalry
and artillery are not suffered to remain
halted under the close fire OF infantry,
and neither skirmishers nor artillery
are allowed to cross Il plain exposed to
be swept by the enemy's cavalry. These
and few other rules are strictly adj
hered to, and no officer is allowed to
enter into any discussion with an UNI
pire. When the action begins, every
endeavor is made, not to achieve dis
play, but rather to obtain advantages,
which, under similar circumstances,
would be valuable in real war. We
hear of battery of artillery and a
regiment Of dragons being separated
from each other when retreating across
bridge, and of each being captured;
also of three batteries being taken
prisoners by sudden attack in flank
by the enemy's horsemen. On the lat
ter occasion we are told that the colonel
commanding the artillery was consid-
cred so much to blame that he was Sc
verely rebuked before the whole staff.
The secret Of the earnestness with
which this mimic game of war is played
may be found in the fact that the ca
pacity of every officer is tested on these
occasions, failure in these man9uvres
being viewed as equivalent to failure in
war At the close of the day the vic
torious force bivouacs on the ground,
while the defeated army marches some
four or five miles off, to the spot Sc
lected for the maneuvreS of the NOR
row. Both sides throw out pickets, as
in service. In order that the full
amount of instruction may be derived.
when the crisis Of the battle has ar
rived the halt is sounded, and the COM
handing General, having assembled
the officers, in their presence oriticises
the movements.-London Saturday Re
vie,C
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-11-17
Household Recipes.

Glazing for Linen.-Add teaspoonful
of salt, and one of finely-scraped white
soap to pint of starch.
Rhode Island Broom Bread-One quart
Indian meal, one pint rye -four, a small
cup of molasses, one teaspoonful each
Of saleratus and salt; with hot water
thin it enough to pour; bake three
hours.
-Four Was to KiH C6ckroaches.-l. Mix
read lead, Indian meal and molasses
together, and set it where they can find
it. =. Strew powdered boraX around
their haunts. 3. Lay lobster shells on
the shelves they visit. 4. Treat them
to cucumber peelings.
To Gre ,S,oollen and Bleeding GumS.-A
bit Of alum the size of a marrow fat pea
dissolved in the mouth and brought in
contact with all the gums, will cure
them. This should be u, eel wee week
until it is no longer needed. None Of
the alum should be taken into the
stomach.
The S,oeet Potato as de Ornamental Plant
One of the prettiest ornaments to a
room during the winter may be furnish
ed by sweet potato plant. Placed in
a hanging basket lin sand and kept
moist with occasional waterings the vine
will grow vigorously, clinging to the
cords which suspend the basket, and
climbing to the ceiling, or depending in
beautiful festoons beneath the basket.
A Ne,0 NctRod of Packing Butter.-A
Michigan dairyman has lately published
his method of packing butter. He has
Oaken tubs, with heads at each end.
They are IA inches in diameter at top,
9 inches at the bottom, and l6 inches
high. In packing, n cambria bag is
made to fit the tub. The butter is pack
ed in the tub as it stands on the small
end-the sack being long enough to ex-
tend above the edges Of the tub and is
pressed down firmly until within an
inch and half of the top, when a cir
cular cloth is laid over it, the edges of
the sack turned down over that. and a
layer of fine salt placed on it. The head
is now put in its place, the tub turned
up, and the butter in the sack, of course,
falling down to the bottom, leaves
space all around it which is filled with
brine poured through a hole in the
small end. When full the hole is corked
up tight. The butter floats in the brine
and is effectually preserved from the air,
and will keep for an almost indefinite
pariOd
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-11-17
Progress Of Wool Manufacture in the
United States.

The exhibition Of the wooden manu-
facturers of the great States of the West
made at the late fairs in Ohio, Indiana,
Illinois, and Missouri, are in great de-
gree encouraging to all who are inter
ested in watching the growth OF great
native industry. The final freedom
from dependence on foreign countries
for our supply of clothing, carpets, and
blankets is at hand In quality our
native cloths of all grades are equal to
any foreign-made, while our carpets far
surpass those heretofore imported. The
value of these articles manufactured in
1865 amountt d to l7j millions of dol
lars. which is nearly treble the amount
made in 1860. The production has
largely increased since then. 1t is.
however, to be much regretted that
American women have not sufficient
patriotism to demand that the sham
tickets and pattern cards which purport
to give foreign name to our native
goods shall be abolished, and the really
excellent articles of native manufacture
which they purchase under fraudulent
foreign names be permitted to own their
true origin. While we can successfully
compete with foreigners in the price
and quality of our goods, we are com.
PEELED to steal trademarks to secure
our own countrywomen as purchasers Of
them.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1871-11-17
The British ASS.

Wead at dinner given to a section Of the Brit
ish Association for the Promotion Of Science.
Edinburgh
Some men 20 in for Science,
And some go i'm for Shams.
Some roar like hungry Lions,
And others bleat like Lambs
But there's a Beast that at this Feast
Demands n special glass,
SO let Us bray, that long we may
Admire the British Ass
On England's fragrant clover
This Beast delights to browse.
But sometimes he's rover
To Scotland's broomy knowes;
For there he finds above all kinds
The Plant that doth surpass-
The Thistle rude-the sweetest food
That feeds the British Ass
We've read in ancient story
How a great Assyrian swell
Came down from all his glory
With horned beasts to dwell.
If you would KIN w how il happened so.
That King should feed on grass.
In Section ID. Department b,
He had Joined the British Ass
On Grecian senses charming
Fell the music of the spheres.
But voices more alarming
Salute our longer ears
A swell profound doth now PROFOUND
How life did come to pass.
From world to world the seeds were hurled,
Whence sprung the British ASS
In our wandering through Creation
Wemeet these burning stones,
That bring for propagation
The germs of flesh and bones.
And is it not a thrilling thought
That a huge, misguided mass
Will come some day TO sweep away
Our dear old British Ass
The child who knows his father
Has aye been reckoned wise,
But some of us would rather
BE saved that sweet surprise,
If be true that when we view
comelv lad or lass.
We find the trace of the monkeys face
In the gaze Of the British Ass