The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1871-06-24
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Less than a hundred years ago the fsnnsyivs'
mia legislature ordsined that mo member there
of should come to the house barefoot. Or est his
bread and cheese on the s,eps."-Er.
This was the origin OF the popular slang phrase
"Chees it,"
Mrs.. Hess who murdered two men in Steuben
county, last January, has been convicted Ut being
insane. OF course she Was. Any woman who
will kill two men, scarce men are getting
TO be, must be insane, from the nature OF thinyA.
She was mach a.sA.,ally cer.nged-t,o0 men.
tally.
The Japanese VIII, came her 10 italy our -ys-
tenn Of currency have gone hon," ,s.fied. They
we're particularly pleased Win >..,a"rr's cork.
screw signature on the bilis-,, i, hem think
% much Of the tracks on their n,tivr teA.chSats.
Another thing that struck them iproloiy w.s the
six hundred girls III the Trea>ur. Department,
and it is said they have let ordar with
dealer here to ship them hundred ur
experiment.
The Japs aim to become civilized. All they
need is our American fast girls. .p,d HORSES
snd soothing syrup, c, "old rye
The proper salutation to the Prssidsnt-
Whatn you take :--C0smopoI!tan. ....
The regular answer is, "Any little present.
such as house and lot, span of fast horses,
corner lots, railroad stock and whisky straight
anything III fact, but bull purp..'
The Cosngpo,.t,n is inclined to doubt that
Jesse f. Grant, the father of that fellow at the
white house, has sof'ening OF the brains, for the
reason that that would imply that he has brains
to soften. .s.7.
The Dixon Herald, as cure tor the habit OF
sucking eggs, INDUCED IN BY farm handle and
ambitious boys, recommends liberal doses of po-
tato bug eggs, sure cure. That is it will kill
the boys aud cure the egg, no matter In how bed
q condition it may be. s.n
L. H. Post, editor of the DeKslb county kesss,
has been presented with four hundred dollar
horse and buggy.-Er. FHF ST.
Where are those fellows who promised to bay
rs jewsharp? .. 7.sa
In Leavenworth young man tho ether day
attempted to brighten some comrades BY pie wing
burglar. BY the time they had chased him nile
or 80, had fired fsrty shots at him and had cap.
elred and whipped him, all parties began to find
out their little mistake.--Ez. VI,
He says picking thirty.ssven balls out Of Lis
person is not SO humorous q proceeding - one
might imagine.
BY a blunder, the people Of Worcester, Msss.,
have been ordered by the city authorities to 70.
number.their houses with Roman numerals The
kfy shud aers at the thought of CCCXLIV over
its own door.
The Pontiac Sentinel complains that the Eree
Trader fellers tapped key Of lager recently but
forgot to invite the Sentinel over, and ominously
adds, "Bertram will be- out in q few days with
his beautiful hsarse newly painted and trimmed
A woman in Mendon recently refused to nav
doctors bill because the NJ. ID. cured her nus.
band. The doctor sued and recovered his money,
-Es.
From this it will be seen that women oansot
hire doctors to kill husbands, (the womens bus.
bands, with impunity, or without money aud
without price either. 1t is correct ruls, and
more than one poor fellow will feel safer after
having read this item.
The editor of the Maroa Tribune found III In
dian stone tomahawk while hoeing potatoes
early one morning last week. Moral Hoe your
potatoes early.-AhantG Aryus.
Mr.. G. w. Fay, of the Trenton (Mo) Sentinel,
10 after GreeIey's agricultural laursls. Here is
atample of what he knows about it:
The proper time to pull hemp is any Friday
tndI u soou Judge Ihhy seleCt. CdBLOc OIL Deans
succeed best III the bowels of the earth. Thew
will soon work their way out. The best prspar.
alton for hops is toad or two in each hill, they
will make vines fairly jump The usual time
to put IN rye is early in the morning Some
husbandmen, especially those in the city, ran i.
in AZ intervals Of half an hour until bed time.
The practice is only allowable in case OF . dry
season. In reaping wheat never take it BY the
beard; it is apt to cake in the stomach. Corn
In the ear ID apt to effect the nearing; il eaten
green it will make the voice husky, when dealt
out as army rations the kernel should always be
served first, and then the men privately. Never
plant your potatoes early; it is the early potato
that gets the worm. 1t il up hill work with
them after that. To be certain of the rixbt kind
OF squashes, compare them with your head. Iu
adopting this rule l first mist0ok pumpkins fol
sqaashes, but by continued, careful comparison
soon learned to detec. the difference. In makiuu
cider out vi apples found it pretty tixhi
squeeze. Notwithstanding my long connectioy
with the press. If you lay in supply Of Ole
wine be sure to make it of elder berries
Spotted Tree Toad, noted chief Of the ri
ltes, is 10 more. He was yanked to the happ,
hunting grounds of bis fathers, in n gallant bu
Intellectual attempt to lasso the Pacific Lightnin:
Express
The Terre Haute Mail has discovered a nev
style of SUMMER hat at is four feet across tn
top and is put on with apitchfork
According to the Fulton Ledyc,, dog tenncl
ri down in that region. Tho Ledger fails I
state what kind OF dog is referred to-whe,he
yaller, or brindle, bull purp or plain dog femme