The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1871-10-12
HUMOROUS.

A stupid exquisite, at wedding, wished
the bride ''many happy returns of the oc-
casion.
Sign on house in Sydenham: "This
cottage for sail to any one who can raise
/ the wind"
Life insurance agents in Georgia solicit
policies by advertisements printed on sugar
plums and sent to the farmers children.
A gentleman ordered his servant to call
him at six; but he awoke him at four,
| telling him he had two hours longer to
sleep.
A man in Cleveland broke his thigh in
/ kicking off a boot. 1t is rot stated wheth-
cr his wife was talking to him at the time
about coming home in that condition.
A little bit of thing, who had Just got
back from aparty, was asked by her mamma
how she enjoyed herself. "Oh mammal"
she said, 'Im so full of happiness;
couldn't be no happier without | was big
GER
\ traveller coming up to an inn door
says:
pray, friend, are you the master of this
| house?"
"Ies, sir, answers Boniface, "my wife
has been dead these three years.
4 New Jersey editor has announced
the death of his uncle in Australia, leav-
ing him a gold mine and $780, 900. His
village contemporary processes to regard
the matter rs Il plan cunningly devised to
obtain credit for q box of paper collars and
a straw hat
An Elmira man is happy now. He did
not love his WIFE, and she sweetened her
coffee with laudanum. The man secured
the proceeds of an insurance policy, and
then recovered heavy damages from the
druggist who sold the poison.
An erudite dealer in HOSIERY adopted the
following Latin motto, Mems conscta rech,
which he had painted over his store to at
tract the passers by to his honest character.
An opposite neighbor, not to be outdone.
wrote over las door, Men and women's
cORSci0 rect.
y Southern gentleman DESTROYS Of start
ing on a journey early on the following dav
ordered his negro servant to awaken him at
sunrise. The next morning, while it was
yet dark, our eolored friend called his mas
ter, who, naturally ANNOYED at being ar
ouSed so soon, exclaimedthat it wasn't even
daybreak. mo massa, dav hasn't broke.
sure enough, but it's nightly 5sntf'
\ professor of leading college was pas
sing out Of the recitation room on his
crutches, when an ambitious freshman
dropped slyly into his cap piece of paper.
on which he had written legiblv the word
Monkey" Tickled with his Joke, he told
his success to all his student friends.
But speedy retribution befell him. At
the next recitation the bland professor ad-
dressed his division thus, in his sweetest
tones: Gentlemen, as | was passing out
OF the room yesterday one of your number
did me the very high honor of leaving with
me his card"
As ear Of the Blocker street line was
humping down town few DAYS since, lust
below Prince street, beautiful lady sig
nailed the driver. The gallant fellow stop
ped the car as quick as a flash. A bow
with astonishing long legs, thin alpaca
coat and round-topped hat, stood in the
rear door of the car. The moment the dri-
yer stopped the car the long-legsed boy saw
something at the other end of it, and he
went for that something with frig Ltful "a
pidity.
Come in, shouted Mr. Wright, treas
urer Of Kelley & Icons, who was seated
on the right Of the car, as the boy whizzed
by.