Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1871-08-12
Miscellaneous. q
After Marriage.

In the romantic courting days the love
making is fresh and sweet, and all-engross-
ing, and the unretlecting innocents are de-
luded into the belief that the bonds of mat
rimony are alone needed to secure them
life love and joy ut the high fever heat of
these warm youthful moments. But such
an anticipation of heaven on this earth can
not be. The heat must cool down, aud the
intoXication of love sober into the tranquil
lity offriendship. 1t is great matter to
get safely through this cooling process. The
danger is that, when it begins, one or 9TH
er, or both, ignorant that its calise lies in
the nature of things, nidy throw the blame
on an innocent partner, and in his or in her
secret heart sigh over the awful misfortune
of n dreary union. This would not happen
80 frequently as it does if, as is not often
the case, the husband and wife were to So
Der doHHI at about the same rate. AS q
rule, the lady will hold on to the billing and
cooling, and tender love-making much long
er than the gentleman. 1t is the man that
cools, and the wife that is broken-hearted.
This, though much to be regretted, is easy
enough to understand, without considering
the husband n brute. Probably men have
by nature less tenderness than women.
Certainly their active business lives is
aversc to its development, and any conside-
rablc display of soitness on their part is
commonly sneered down as an unmanly
weakness. BY our social arrangements
women, on the other hand, are devoted al
most entirely TO the exercise of this emo
ton to them love in some shape is all in
all without il their lives arc cherries and
blank. The slow work Of bringing the
lives and pursuits of the sexes into greater
harmony, and thereby assimilating the cha
racters of men and women, must be left to
the untirirg Zeal of the promoters of the
"wonian Increment"
Among causes of evil lying nearer the
surface there is our system Of courtship,
which seems as if specially designed for
mischief. To be kind and attentive to the
object Of ones affection is natural on the
part of both man and woman. But, ac-
cording to custom, the gentleman must do
all the wooing the labor of loyo-making
falls TO him and as q rule, he does not
spare himself. For weeks, for months, for
years, he worships at the feet of the fair
one with compliment, tattery and endless
attentions. He seems the slave of her
smallest wish. In all this there is much
acting. Marriage is the dropping of the
curtain with il ends the merry, but, in its
consequences, melancholy farce. And
when he sees the effects of the play he sim
cerely wishes it had never begun. The at
tentions cannot continue. Nor il ii desir-
able that they should. Yet, in getting
them for time, women are taught TO ex-
pect them forever. The arrangement is
cruel to women. Ii is like the practice of
first spelling children, aud then furnishing
them for being spoiled,
OF course We can understand tho extra
VACANT pre-nuptlal speeches of the bearded
lover without charging him with the least
insincerity. While the lady is yet TO be
won, and he Is under the influence of
pent-up passion and heated immagina-
ton, he talks sentiment, and swears
thousand fold foolish, impossible things
that their moons will be all equally honey
ed, aud the like. No doubt he sometimes
pratues Ia this pretty way moro because il
Is the fashion than for better reason. Of-
ten, however, he ia so ignorant of human
nature that he believes all this himself.
Hut II II tile misfortune OF the poor girl a.
ways 10 believe ity How could she ever
doubt such charming truthr Tho ineeuse
ot hattery Is sweet, aud she likes o. pct and
bo letted. Tho love may be perfectly gen-
uine on both sides, aud yet with marriage
there may be great falling on nom ali
this. When tho wifi drops her haHdker-
chief the husband does not dart RCIOas the
Toom to save her tho trouble OF stopping
Ailer marriage man cannot ba bOthered
telling his wiie twenty times day that he
realty loves her ITO thinks she should
take that tor granted, Aud tho sXcess 0t
iondling and caNsslng la which lao indulg,
cd, and ioF time enIoyed, gradually losea
lts lta leal aud leeohles tiFVs0nie " hlui,
especially when ho has, as most mon ha,S,
business and lapoI.aa1 outdoor lhleresla