The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1871-01-26
= Wit and Wisdom.

All the good injuus die young.
Blessed are they who have no eye for
key hole.
Fathomless depths-The depths of
woman's heart.
A good way to find a woman OUT
Call when she isn't at home.
4 Woman's heart, like the moon,
should have only one man in. it.
believe in the universal salvashuu
Of men, bat I want tew pick the men.
The latest thing ont is a tJim Fish
necktic." 1t is broad-gauge affair.
Why should favorite henbe called
Macduff2 Because we wish her to" lay
on"
Its better to be laughed at for not
being married, than to be unable to
laugh because you are.
a poor but dishonesty ouzs-this is
about az lop down az emmy nam kan
get, unless he drink Whiskee.
Beauty, without honesty, is like birds
without song, flowers without fragrance
or beef without mustard.
al have not loved lightly" as the
man said when he married widow
weighing three hun dred pounds.
A man, near Franklin, Pa, was bitten
by rattle snake seventeen years ago, T
and is still taking whiskey to cure the
bite.
Nother-"Nly daughter, you are
iow fifteen years of age, engaged to be
married, and without freckle on your
face. | have done my duty"
lie who hus left to the world the re-
cord of noble life, though he may
have left no outward memorial, has left
an enduring source Of greatness.
What is the difference between q dog
belonging to a sailor and'one ofthe prin-
cipal planets? One is the Tar's dog and
the other is the dog.star. u
A westerner. speaking Of the perform
ance Of his village choir, says that cit
is like drift wood in the stream; ii
drags on the bars but it don't amount
to DAM"
4 French auhor says: "When I ,
lost my wife every family with which I,
was acquainted offered nie'another;;
but when l lost my horse not one of
them offered to make him good"
In answer to a correspondent who
wrote to country editor, asking.if he
might send him something to- fill up
with," the editor replies: "Certainly-
let it be a barrel of -four and quarter
of beef"
i newly-1narried man down East
says if he had an inch more of happi-
ness he could not possibly live. His
wife is Obliged to roll him on the floor
and pat him with brick bat every
day to keep him from becoming too
happy.
a Dertoit girl, who wears beaver
and carries cane, tried to kiss hotel
waiter the other day. The insultede
youth complained to the landlord, who
informed the offender that she must
respect the men about the house, or
leave
Alexander, Caesar, Charlemague, and
Napoleon, founded .."Empires," but
upon what did they rest the creations
Of their genius? Upon force. Jesus
Christ alone founded his empire upon
lore and at this hour billions of men
would die for him.
Jno Jacob Astor was addressed by a
poor person upon time like this: ri
wish [ had your wealth" "Would
you take care of my property for your
hoard and clothes?" asked Astor.
"No:" exclaimed the querist. "This
is all 7 get" replied Astor.
The new style Of dressing ladies'
hair is said to interfere with putting
your arms around the neck. When the
ladies properly appreciate this difficulty
they will make a change directly. We
| do not speak from experience about
this, you know.
A lady in Detroit went visiting, leav.
ing four children playing in the house,
with nothing in reach with which to
amuse themselves except a box Of
. matches and q piece Of sand,paper
When the lady returned, all she could
: recognize about the premises was 9
: barrel of saur, krut burning in the eel