The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1871-10-26
FACT, FUN AND FANCY

L
The cattle plague-gnats.
Crewel-worsted work.
A handbook ledger de MAN.
A pound of hesh-a prize fight.
Welcome lines to 'adics-masculines
Capital sport-moncy hunting.
A hand to hand affair--marriage.
A dry soul must have dry eye.
A harmless death-drowning in tears
Passed to third reading-iove letters.
Joint stock-the material for OK tail
soup.
Whale oil merchants have trying times.
Many plain young ladies live to be
pretty old ones.
Advice to doctors-llve and let live.
IF yon break your arm, don't use a gin
sling.
He has hard work who hath nothing
to do.
Learning makes man Git company for
himself.
Life is thing of years death is a
thing of moments.
Difficult punctuation-putting stop
to gossip tongue. s.
Great souls have wills; feeble ones
have only wishes.
All religion and all ethics are summed
up in justice.
Small faults INDUCED are little thieves
that let greater.
The only way to pass for anything, is
to be something.
We don't believe anything of a ladv's
kiss unless we have it from her own
mouth.
The three hardest words in the English
language to pronounce-''I was mis-
taken.''
Self-wil is so ardent and active:tha it
will break "a world to pieces to make a
stool to sit on.
Are ladies called mum because thew
talk so little?
A lovely mode Of neutrality-suspicious.
woman putting their heads together.
In time, the mulberry tree becomes a
silk. gown becomes woman.
If you are afraid you will scream; when
your tooth is being pulled, hold your jaw.
Dean Swift said 1T is useless to try
to argue man out of a thing he was
never reasoned into
A letter was received at the Chicago
Post Office recently from Iowa, addressed
TO Eny HoleSale Book NIurchant."
An inscription upon church bell in
Milwaukee reads: In memory of Min
ME J. Hodges, weight 724 pounds.
When is the most dangerous time to
visit in the country? When the trees
are shooting and the bullrushcs out.
A cotemporary thinks that the best
way to improve the lot of woman is to
put good house ON it and man in the
house.
An freshman sent to the Wisconsin
State Prison, being called on to choose a
trade, replied that he preferred to be a
sailor
What did that young lady mean when
she said to her lover: "Youmay be too
late for the cars, but you can take a
buss -
Married people should study each
other weak points, as skaters look out
for the weak parts Of the ice, in order to
keep off them.
That happy man. will find life rath-
err serious business, whose bride entered
upon her wedding journing with eight
trunks and French maid.
A music dealer haSi his window a sem
timental song-'Thou hast loved me and
left me for twenty-five cents
What bird is that which it is absolute
ly necessary that we should have at the
dinner table, and yet need never be cook
ed or served up. A swallow.
Bridget: told you to have my no,
water the first thing in the morning."
Sure. sir. replied Bridget, didn't
bring it up last night and lave it by the
door, so as to have it in time ?''
A Pittsburg young man took matrimo
ny and small pox at the same time. The
honeymoon wasn't sister.
A woman at revival meeting in Ohio,
said she found her jewelry was dragging
her down to perdition, and so gave it all
to younger sister.
The New York Tribune asks a connun.
drum; (which is the largest room in
New York? Answer--The room for i'm
provement at the City Hail. %
An Indiana lover of ninety-one is en-
gagged to poor-house inmate aged one
hundred and six. That's second child
hood with vengeance.
MARK TWAIN gets off the following to
a ~ Dung Author In his Answers to
COrreSnopdentS' Voc r,.: