The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1871-02-09
4 Domestic Catastrophe.

IN the country there lives an honor
able old gentleman whom We shall
B., hard-headed old cuss, but
kind-hearted and liberal with his
friends. BIS, "frOw" is very fond
Of cats, and generally has from eight
OF ten Of the feline race about the
house while B. abCminates the
varmints, and never loses an OppOr-
Wnity 10 decrease the number. This
worthy couple B, and his ''frOw"
not the cats have a daughter-a
plump, rosy fun-lOving girl Ofeighteen,
the very picture Of health and good
nature. She has Tor had two suitOrs,
and she liked both so well that she
would not discard one for the other,
and so held them both in hopeless sus-
pense. Frank was the oldest lover,
but Josh was the best looking and the
''smaTtest,n - and the chances were
rather in his favor. They had been
paying their visits on alternate nights,
and so had not come in contact until
the evening in question
To full understanding to our little
story, it is proper to state that the
room used as a Sitting-rOOEl, is in the
second story, and is reached by stair
way running from the front door; the
room on the right first story is Occu-
pied by the old folks as a sleeping
and the one on the left as
a dining-rOOm and kitchen.
One night recently Frank called,
and from the door heard the voice Of
his rivalin conversation with his Kath
arina. GOaded by jealousy, he deter
nl.1 H. -
his boots, he quietly entered the house,
and gathering all the chairs and loose
furniture he could find in the dining
room, proceeded, very quietly, to
blockade the stair steps. He then
slipped out and secreted himself, and
awaited further developments. Josh
soon after took leave of his charmer,
and commenced u cautious descent of
the stairs, in order not to disturb the
slumbers of the old people. When
about half way down, his feet became
in the mass of chairs and |
wash stands, and losing his balance, |
down went Josh and the furniture
rattle bang, chUg! to the bottom. This |
startled old b, who yelled out, 1
''Vat der tunder's der matter nOw?' I
Josh covered with the furniture, COM !
menced a hOrrid dcaterTauling-"mew, |
mOll row, chew chew ~ b, con- |
cluded it was the old WOmanis cats on /
a spree, and muttering something /
about ''der damn cats" settled him |
self for another snOOZe. Josh slipped .
out, thinking che smeit a mice;n he f.
did not go far until hs hid himself, /
and waitedfOr something to turn up" /
As soon as Frank thought Josh was |
out of sight, he went into the house !
to upbraid Katharine with her tickle /
ness. Josh waited until he saw Frank 4
gain admittance, and then returned /
and distributed the furniture as be- |
fore. Katharine soon Modified Frank, |
and bidding her good night he started 1
away. He, too, brought up against f.
the chairs and other fixings, and tUm- /
bled to the bottom of the stairs, with .
a terrible gathering. Up jumped old /
B, again, with, "Vat ter tuyfel's /
der matter nOw?r Frank thought to I
play the cat game, but he was fright /
eued, and instead of initiating the de-
lightful music of cat in distress, he /
stammered out, "Its anOther-one-i
Of-them-damn-cats ~ This Hlet the ,
eat out of the bag" and old B,
out of his room at the same time; and
If Franks wits failed him a minute /
before, his legs did not fail him now,
and he made the quickest time on 4
record for abOuta mile. We have not /
learned the result of this catastrophe
but think Josh is slightly ahead of his
rival.