The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1871-05-04
NUMBER Is
humorous.
The cards which the slanderer
plays-tray-deuee.

enf W men lC IS little foul.
A man who says he viii subscribe
anon, very often proves to be a
non-subscriber.
Because horses are used to reinst
it does not fellow that they are ua-
affected by the weather.
When are soldiers like good fan
nel2 When they don't shrink.
Avoid debt-he that pays down
viii not be called upon to pay up.
An Irish editor congratulates
himself that ahalf the lies told on
him arn't true"
There is every reason to believe
that some of the prevailing blonde
chignons are made oflight fantastic
tow.
"Weil, there is something in
thatp' as the man said when he
tried TO put on his boot with kit
ten in it,
Spurgeon thinks some ministers
would make good martyrs; they are
so dry they would burn well.
"You look as though you were
beside yourself" as a wag said to a
fellow who was standing beside a
donkey.
Jones and his wife agree grandly
on one point: she thinks more of
him than of anybody else in the
world, and so does he.
81 have very little respect for the
ties Of the world" as the chap said
when the rope was put around his
neck.
A man excused himself for mar-
rying by saying that his friends de
clared he drank too much for a sin
gle man.
'By JoveP' said a man, viewing
revolving light, ''the wind blows
that light out as fast as the man
can light it."
The conductor Of an omnibus
said to a young lady, one of his
passengers, "Miss, your fare."-
"Well, if I am" she replied, 81 don't
want any of your impertinence."
"Bill," said Bob, ''why is that tree
called the weeping willowT' "Cause
one of the sneaking, plaguy things
grew near the schoOl-house and
supplied the master with switehes."
ss1Ir. Smithers, how can you sleep
so? The sun has been up these
two hours" swell, what if he
has?" said Smithers; "he goes to
bed at dark, while I'm up till after
midnight"
eye want nothing, do yeT' said
Pat; "bedad, an if it's nothing ye
want, yen find it in the jug where
the whisky was"
A wag, on seeing an old gobbler
trying to swallow a cotton string,
facetiously remarked: "That was
was the last attempt to introduce
cotton into Turkeyr'
Don't go back on your newspaper.
A subscriber to an Iowa paper re-
Gently stopped his paper and the
next week he was nearly kicked to
death by a horse.
The less man knows the wider
he wears his mouth open. It is as
impossible for a fool to keep his
jaws shut as it is for a sick oyster
to keep his shell closed.
The young ladies of Atlanta, Ga,
have resolved to refuse the address
es of all young men who don't wear
"shiny silk plug hats" Nothing
said about bricks in 'em.
A young lady in Indiana was fro
zen to death while outsleigh riding
with a young man. A man who
can't keep a woman from freezing
when he has her in a sleigh all alone
to himself ought to be punished to
the full extent Of the law.
"There is no place like home" !"
unless it's the. home of the young
woman you are "after." Future
poets viii please make a note of
this.
A bachelor friend suggests that
In most marriages considerable
'soft soap,n with strong lie, is used,
and the whole operation ends in
shaving.
A clever fellow last week con-
ceived the idea that he could fy,
climbed a tree, waved his hand
grandly, and lit out. Somehow, the
ground sprang up and hit him, ana
he crswled into the house, eonvinc-
ed that flying was not his forte.
II feel" said dying cobbler,
'sthat I wax weaker every day, and
that I am gradually approaching
my end; only a few more stitches,
and awl viii be over. In heaven
there is rest for the sole; awl my
sorrows shall be heeled. He grad
ually pegged out and soon breathed
his last.
aWhar is Europe to American
said a stump orator 'sNowhari-
Whar is England? Nowharl They
call England the mistress ofthe sea :
but what makes the sea? The
Mississippi And all we've got to
do is to turn the Mississippi into
a.. Rga-.,sr,fh Gave and the FnUs