The weekly clarion., 1871-09-21
MISSED HIS AIM.
BIZ MARK TWAIN.

knew by the sympathetic glow upon MS
bald head-I knew by the thoughtful LOOK
upon his face-I knew by the emotlonal
free Hyer's nose. that simon n-wheeler's mem
DRY was busy with the olden time. Ano so
prepared TO leave, because all these were
symptoms of reminisceDee-signs tnat ne
was going 10 be delivered OF another OF ms
tiresome personal experiences-but L was 1
too slow he got the start OF me. As near
Iv a. can recollect the infiiction was /
couched in the following language:
I'VE were all boys then, and didn't care |
for nothing. and didn't have no trouDie5an1
didn't worry about nothing only to shirk
school and keep up revivin' state OF devil
ment all the time. This yah Jim Wolf L was
talking about was the prentice, and he was |
the best-hearted feller. he was, and the most
forgivin' and onselfish / ever see-Well,
there couldn't be more bullier boy than he
was take him how you would. and sorroy
enough / was when | see him for the last
time.
Me and Henry was always pesterlng
and plastering horse bills on his back, and
I putting humble bees in his bed, and SO ON,
I and sometimes we'd crowd in and bunk with
/ him Notwithstanding his growing, and tLen
1 we'd let on 10 get mad and tight across MIN,
| so as to keep him stirred up like. tie was
/ nineteen, be was, and long, and lank, ana
bashftlI, and we was nfteen and sixteen, and
4 tolerably lazy and worthless.
$50 that ght. you know, that my sister
1 Mary gave candy-pullin', they started US
/ 70 bed eally, so as the company could have
full swing, and we run in on Jim TO have
I some fun.
~Our winder lookt out into the roof of an
ell and about ten O'Clock couple OF old
tom-cats got to rarin' and chargin around II
and carrVin' on like sin. There was four
inches Of snow on the roof and it was fro
zen so that there was right smart crust OF
ice on it and the moon was shining bright,
and we could see them cats like daylight
First they'd stand oil and e-yow, yoW-yow
lust the same as if they was cussln' one
another. you know, and bow up their backs
and push up their tails, and swell around
and spit then all of a sudden the gray cat
he'd snatch handful of tur out of the yal-
Ter cats ham, and spin him round like the
button on a barn door. But the yaller cat
was game, and he'd come and clinch, and
the way they'd gouge, and bite, and howl,
and the way they'd make the fur fly, was
powerful.
"WelI, Jim he got disgusted with the row,
and lowed he'd climb out and shake 'em
otf'n that roof lie hadn't RELY no notion
of doin' it, likely, but we everlastin'ly dog
ged him, and bully-ragged him, and lowed
he'd always Dragged how he wouldn't take
a dare, ard so on, till bime-by he highsted
up the winder, and 10 and behold you, he
went-went exactly as he was, nothin on
but a shirt, and it was short. But you ought
to see him. You ought TO see him cree-pin'
over that ice and digsin' his toe-nails and
/ 'bove all you ought to seen that shirt-tail
fiappin in the wind, and them long ridicu-
lous shanks of his a glistenin' in the moon
light.
} under the caves, the whole squad of 'em un-
der that ornery shed of cid Washin'to
Bower vines-all sett'n round about two
dozen sassers of hot candy, which they'd
sot i'm the snow to cool. And they was
laughin' and ralkin' lively; but bless you
| rhey did MT know nOthin' bout the panOra-
ma that was gOin' on over their heads
Well, Jim, he went a sneakin' up, unbe-
knowns to them cats they was a swishin'
their TAILS, and yow-yowin, and threatenln'
to clinch, you know, and not payinany at
tentiOn-he went Sne-akin right up to the
comb of the roof, till he was in foOtn and
a half of 'em, and then all of sudden he
made grab for the yaller cat! But, by
gosh, he missed fire and slipped his holt and
his heels flew up and he Topped on his back,
and shot Off7n that roof like dart went
a slashin' and clashin' down thro' them
old vines and landed right in the dead CEN
tire of them comp'ny peOple-sOt down like
a ye4rthquake in them two dozen sassers OF
of red-hot candy, and let off howl that was
bark FIN the tomb! Them gals-well, they
, looked, you know. They see he wasn't
dressed for company, and so they left. All
done iu a secOnd-it was just one little war
whoOp and whish of their dresses, and
blame the wench of 'em was in sight any
| wherel
Jim he was a sight. He vas gormed
} with that biin' hot molasses candy clean
, down to his heels, and had more busted sas-
sers hangin, to him than if he was an Iniun
} princess-and he comes prancin' up stairs
Just a-whoopin and cussin', and every jump
he gave shed some china, and every squirm
he fetched he dropped some candy!
"And blistered! Why, bless your soul,
that pore cretur couldn't reely set down
comfortable for as much as four weeks!"